Original sentence: Among nearly 30,000 Slovene civilians killed, Partisans were responsible for 4,233 civilian deaths, while the Slovene anti-Partisan, in independent actions or in collaboration with Axis forces, caused the deaths of 1,236 civilians.Around 13,200 military and civilian deaths were the result of an inter-Slovene conflict, with collobarators responsible for around 6,000 and Partisans 6,700.In total, around 83–84,000 people lost their lives by the formal end of the war in the Slovene lands, the vast majority killed by the occupation forces.Slovene collaborators put together lists of Slovene political prisoners and assisted in their deportation to Nazi concentration camps).The latter number does not include civilians that Slovene collaborators turned over to the Axis and were killed or died in Axis concentration camps
Edited sentence: Around 13,200 military and civilian deaths were the result of an inter-Slovene conflict, with Slovene Partisans being responsible for 4,233 civilian deaths, while the Slovene anti-Partisan forces, in independent or joint actions with other Axis forces, caused the deaths of 1,236 civilians, excluding civilian deaths in camps.In total, around 83–84,000 people lost their lives by the formal end of the war in the Slovene lands