Original sentence: After a pause and some moments of darkness on stage, we see helen and Jo on stage, on the occasion of Helen's wedding day after Christmas.After helen and Peter leave her on her own for Christmas, Jo weeps and is consoled by her black boyfriend.As helen is offering Jo money, Peter comes in, very drunk, and takes back the money and Helen's offer of a home to Jo.He leaves insisting that Helen come with him; after a moments hesittion she runs after him.Jo says that although she likes him shecannot marry him, and he misses that she makes a sexual pass at him, something confirming that "it is not marrying love between us".Nonetheless he asks Helen to marry him, firt half jokingly, then more or less in earnest.Peter enters, and a dialogue that is requently hostile but also funny evolves between the three: instead of only Jo and Helen attacking each other, a more complex pattern evolves, with Jo attacking the others, the others attacking Jo, and Helen attacking both Peter and Jo.She works in a shoe shop by day and in a bar in the eveings in order to afford the rent.Since she is in her pyjamas, Helen catches a glimse of the ring around her neck and learns the truth.The boyfriend gives Jo a ring which she hangs round her neck under herclothes in order to hide it from Helen.Then, seeking reassurance himelf he kisses herand asks her to mary him.Thus she had her firsst sexual experience with Jo's father, a "not very bright man," a "bit retarded"
Edited sentence: After Helen and Peter leave her on her own for Christmas, Jo weeps and is consoled by her black boyfriend.After a pause and some moments of darkness on stage, we see Helen and Jo on stage, on the occasion of Helen's wedding day after Christmas.As Helen is offering Jo money, Peter comes in, very drunk, and takes back the money and Helen's offer of a home to Jo.He leaves insisting that Helen come with him; after a moment's hesitation she runs after him.Jo says that although she likes him she cannot marry him, and he misses that she makes a sexual pass at him, something confirming that "it is not marrying love between us".Nonetheless he asks Helen to marry him, first half jokingly, then more or less in earnest.Peter enters, and a dialogue that is frequently hostile but also funny evolves between the three: instead of only Jo and Helen attacking each other, a more complex pattern evolves, with Jo attacking the others, the others attacking Jo, and Helen attacking both Peter and Jo.She works in a shoe shop by day and in a bar in the evenings in order to afford the rent.Since she is in her pyjamas, Helen catches a glimpse of the ring around her neck and learns the truth.The boyfriend gives Jo a ring which she hangs round her neck under her clothes in order to hide it from Helen.Then, seeking reassurance himself he kisses her and asks her to marry him.Thus she had her first sexual experience with Jo's father, a "not very bright man," a "bit retarded"