分类：教育/科学-外语学习
问题：帮忙看一下这篇稿，谢谢您的意见，Iamnottryingtosa 
Iamnottryingtaythataslongasonehasadreamthathewillcertainlybeasuccessfulatlast.Iamtryingtoprovethatwithadream,onewillbemorehopefulandtherearebiggerchancetoachievesuccess.ThereisastoryinCRAZYENGLISHaboutadetermindgirl.Shelovesbasketballsomuchthatshepractisesiteveryday.ShepractisIamnottryingtaythataslongasonehasadreamthathewillcertainlybeasuccessfulatlast.Iamtryingtoprovethatwithadream,onewillbemorehopefulandtherearebiggerchancetoachievesuccess.ThereisastoryinCRAZYENGLISHaboutadetermindgirl.Shelovesbasketballsomuchthatshepractisesiteveryday.Shepractisesdribbingandshootingoverandoveragain,sometimesuntildarkness.Whenshewasaskedwhyshepractisessomuchandsohard,sheanswearsasfollowing:"Iwanttogotocollege,theonlywayIcangoisifIgetascholarship.Ilikebasketball.Iwanttoplaycollegebasketball.Iwanttobethebast.Mydaddyt ,thefactdonotcount."Withsuchstrongdetermination,shealsokeepspractisingevenwhenthecoachestrytopersudehertogiveupbecauseshewastooshort.Horver,afterworkinghardforyears,herdreambecomestrue.Shewasofferedafullsholarshipsoshecouldgotogetcollegeeducationatlast.It'sthedreamisbigenough,thefactdonotcount.
回答：Iamnottryingtaythataslongasonehasadreamthathewillcertainlybesuccessfulatlast.WHATIamtryingtoprove/MAKECLEARISthatwithadream,ITwillbemorehopefultoSUCCEED.ThereisastoryinCRAZYENGLISHaboutadeterminEdgirl.Shelovesbasketballsomuchthatshepractisesiteveryday.SheDRIBSandshootSoverandoveragain,sometimesEVENuntildark.WhenshewasaskedwhyshepractiseDsohard,sheanswErED/REPLIED:"Iwanttogotocollege,theonlywayisTOgetascholarship.Ilikebasketball.IwanttoplaybasketballINCOLLEGE.IwanttobethebEst.Mydaddyt ,thefactdonotcount."Withsuchstrongdetermination,sheSTILLkeepspractisingevenwhenthecoachestrytopersudehertogiveupbecauseshewastooshort.HoWEver,afterhardEXERCISESforyears,herdreambecAmetrue.Shewasofferedafullsholarshipsoshecouldgotogetcollegeeducationatlast.It'sthedreamisbigenough,thefactdonotcount.