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user\nWakayama Tomisaburo's portrayal of fugitive ex-Kaishakunin Ogami Itto felt entirely natural. His demeanor, his voice, his appearance- all of it spoke to dislodgement. When he entered a space I, as well as characters on the screen, could feel he didn't belong there and that his determination to be there spelled trouble.
I read somewhere that Mr. Wakayama actually took Kendo (Japanese swordsmanship) training and that would explain his comfort with the katana, which showed magnificently in every cutfest. If you watch the movies, from the moment he draws to the moment he sheaths the sword you feel as though you were witnessing something inevitably ugly. He'd even spin the katana quickly to flick off the blood before sheathing it and it would happen in an effortless instant.
Nakamura Kinnosuke's rendition comes across as a rendition. It feels as though he were trying too hard to be someone else or tell someone else's story. As a result, every time I tried to engage I'd lose my grip because HE didn't seem to have a firm grip on the role, himself. As though it were awkward for him.
The swordsmanship in the TV series was entirely old-school Hollyweird, too. Camera cuts to disguise Mr. Nakamura's awkwardness with the katana, slow action, targets sitting still, etc. Extremely bad, from a viewer's perspective. There was a moment in the episode The Castle Wall Attack when Mr. Nakamura drew his sword like a child. It was embarrassing. He handled it as though it were heavy! I almost fell off my chair.
And let's be frank: The story is about an excellent swordsman. Period. Swordsmanship is an issue.
Realism isn't, however: the swordplay in the movies was excellent and manga-like, as was intended, I'm sure. (The baby cart was outfitted with a cluster of automatic, rapid-fire muskets operated by a 3 year old? Yes...manga-style.) It's how the story seamlessly weaves historical cultural accuracy into, basically, superhero fantasy that makes the movies captivating. (Read Yoshikawa Eiji's Musashi [%historical legend]%!) I couldn't really sit through the TV series episodes. They just felt cheap. See the movies first and you'll know what I'm talking about.
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user\nThis is a very interesting acquaintance! \"Two-fisted tales\" contains three foolish and childish episodes - genre isn't actually horror or action, more like something in between. Where's the suspence? Where's the fun? Where's the common sense? Definitely not in here but if you don't expect to get it, you don't necessarily miss it.
First segment is called \"Showdown\". It's a violent, absurd western. I failed to understand the whole idea of it. \"King of the road\" is a stupid story starring Brad Pitt. At the time of \"Two-fisted tales\" he was just a pretty face who really didn't know how to act yet. Luckily he learned the skill later and now he's a fantastic, talented actor - one of the big ones of the younger generation. Story is almost ok in all of it's stupidness. Final episode \"Yellow\" is the only segment that's almost entirely successful. It's foolish but funny. We have to thank Kirk Douglas for that.
This movie is something to watch when you sit in an easy chair and eat popcorn. (I should know, that's what I did) If you loved \"Tales from the Crypt\", you'll love \"Two-fisted tales\" too because basically it's all the same. I understand these three episodes are actually extremely rare \"piece of art\" and very difficult to find anywhere. I have the whole package on VHS but I don't think it's a big privilege. You'll have to be a fanatic Brad Pitt fan to search it out. Otherwise don't bother, it's not worth the effort. Silly crap.
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user\nCorny and horrible, I was not surprised this short lived show didn't make it. I remember fondly when Tales From the Crypt tried reusing these corny episodes like they were actually scary. Coupled with bad acting and lousy music, I was surprised this crummy showed was ever conceived. It never showed up again, and one can only be thankful for this circumstance.
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user\nI'm so glad I only got this movie for $5. Anime is expensive, no doubt about that. I've had my eye on this one for awhile and finally I saw it on sale. I grabbed it immediately and took it home only to hang my head in disappointment. This movie sucked. I've heard people talk about how gory and violent this movie is. It's really not that gory or violent. I've watched it three times, and I think I've wasted enough of my life on this. The demons get a point for being unique and kinda cool at times. The sex gets a point since it's almost non-stop. The horny old man gets half-a-point for being horny and still having the sex drive. And the main character (who's name I've erased from my mind) gets half-a-point for the cool design of his gun. I saw major connections between this movie and Demon City Shinjuku. Both have same style animation, that's obvious because of the director, both have lame soundtracks which suck like the Antichrist, and both have terrible endings. Avoid this movie unless you're into anime sex.
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user\nVictor Jory never became a major star. He is better known for later character roles than for his early leads. But he was very handsome and an excellent actor.
His love scenes with Loretta Young in this romantic adventure thriller are passionate. Their kisses look very real. And very modern.
Vivienne Osborne is a standout here also. She plays a woman with a reputation. But the character has a good heart.
The print I saw was not clear. But what a joy that rare movies like this are turning up! And they are, in some sort of watchable condition, still intact. This is nothing truly special. But if one is willing to sift through movies of its era with similarly intriguing titles, one is likely to find some suprtb movies.
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user\n...but memorable because it includes an actor I actually recognize! James Horan is, by these types of movies' standards, Lawrence Olivier. He's given some decent performances on stuff like Highlander and various Star Treks, so it's kind of amusing, if mildly depressing, watching him degrade himself here. Okay, yeah, there's a plot. Horan's character and his wife are fighting, he's having an affair with a movie reviewer while trying to do his \"masterpiece\" film, and their guest decides to enjoy the wonders of stripping. But watching Horan is really the only enjoyment to be found here.
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user\nThe problem with making a movie like this, though, is that the finale, the crème-de-la-creme of the movie, the battle between the two souped-up ships, must be done well. Disappointingly, this scene in Ironclads is obviously done completely with little model ships in an overgrown tub. There's no tension, little explanation of what exactly is going on and what the timeframe is of the stand-off.
The film takes quite a few liberties with the surrounding story, as all true stories do when converted to a movie, such as the Union traitor and most notably that of Betty Stuart (Madsen), a Virginia belle.
It resorts to making a possibly-decent movie involving an interesting story on the ironclads to preaching about the evils of slavery. It was out of place in this historical drama, and was a cheap ploy to bring in the women viewers. It only succeeded in lessening the positives about the film.
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user\nWell now this strange movie. It was listed as a comedy but I certainly found nothing to laugh at. Actually I am struggling to find anything positive to say about this film. Oh here I go. Alex Ferns is not bad in the lead role and I did not pick the ending for a change, but apart from that this has no great direction solidly two dimensional characters and is not funny enough to be a comedy or serious or dark enough to be any form of decent drama. I would really avoid ever having to watch this movie again and think it does nothing to benefit any of the working class characters it is attempting to portray. I found it hard to empathise for any of the characters and was not given enough information on the lead character Jimmy to believe his motives. Best avoided.
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user\nThis is so poor it's watchable.
The plot deals with a grizzled spaceship crew happening upon a drifting, apparently abandoned Russian craft.
In the empty vastness of space, the two craft accidentally collide (!) - and 'Alien'-esque fun ensues as a cyborg from the Russian ship menaces our crew.
The spacecraft interiors are clearly a dolled-up factory set (metal walkways, boilers, piping). In this entirely unconvincing setting, 'Kody', 'Snake' and the rest of our hero crew grimace, grunt, run about and continually and repeatedly rack their shotguns without firing them.
The continuity gaffes are what define this movie, and they are nothing short of amazing:
Stuff appears and disappears. The shotguns are racked. A cigar gets longer by being smoked. The shotguns are racked again, just to make sure. Content of a bottle increases by being drunk from.
The film progresses through the usual clichés by way of intense ham acting, poxy camera work and Ed Wood quality props to a showdown climax.
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user\nEach year the company called Nu produces couple of \"action packed\", \"full of suspense\" movies. This little nugget, called Shadowcaster III(Until I visited this site I wasn't avare this is a whole trilogy), is a great example of the good job the company is doing. Frank Zagarino is as mean as always and does a great job as almost undestructable(?), schizophrenic(??) android. I won't waste any more words since I don't want to reveal the terrific plot and ruin you a couple of great laughs.
Rating 2/10 (Revard for those hard working tehnicians. Man, putting together this kind of rubbish must be nervewracking.)
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user\nOddly enough, it's Fred MacMurray who plays the more \"screwy\" part in this screwball comedy. Carole Lombard shows a fine performance combining lighter moments with and undercurrent of drama and seriousness.
As usual, Fred MacMurray remains a mystery to me. The camera is no fan of his, he's not that attractive, and he doesn't have the style and panache to pull off this very Cary Grant-like role.
Ralph Bellamy is excellent as the kind friend coming back to life through his relationship with Lombard's character. One can only wonder why her character wouldn't want his gentle, reassuring love instead of the almost certain doom of MacMurray's ineptness. But that's Hollywood!
The picture almost works but misses the mark, primarily due to MacMurray's performance. It would've been lovely to see Grant or even Clark Gable in his role. Lombard and Bellamy are largely believable and likable; MacMurray is stiff and makes you want to keep him at arm's length.
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user\nThe acting is excellent in this film, with some great actors. It was fun to see Fred McMurray as a young man. This is not a comedy. It's a drama and the apparently comedic instances are pitiful. This is not a comedy. It's a drama and the apparently comedic instances are pitiful, and some of them appear forced and contrived. It's in the script, though, not the fault of the acting.
The 10 line requirement forces me to write some more...Hmmm. Loved Carole Lombard's My Man Godfrey, because it is a comedy and, while the acting is wonderful, the story line and the script itself, wins the day. Carole Lombard is pretty and a wonderful actress. I will try to watch Fred McMurray's features.
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user\nCheaply pieced together of recycled film footage, music and ideas, this film cannot really be called \"well\". But for me, when I watched it as a teenager, it was quite amusing. (I didn't know BATTLE BEYOND THE STARS before.) In retrospect it has got something nostalgic, regarding the SF wave of the early eighties and the special effects of this time. Its trashy old-fashioned look and its naivety provide a certain attraction. To enjoy this movie I recommend to concentrate on the paternal relationship between the characters of Vince Edwards and David Mendenhall. In addition, I liked the idea that a bunch of scoundrels discovers its heroic qualities after been unwillingly confronted with the challenge to take care of a child.
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user\nIf there were an EPA for film, then this movie would get their most sincere approval. If we all recycled our \"stuff\" to this degree, we'd never run out of anything.
Funny how I was reminded of this movie when I first saw Starwars I: The Phantom Menace. At least Lucas didn't recycle his old footage.
This is a dud. But it's a nice dud. Cute in spots (I liked when the kid said, \"damn rocks\"). And, if you like explosions (even recycled ones) you will get your fill.
Actually for an obviously \"no budget\" film, it makes out fairly well. Acting is weak, but there is a little characterisation here and there. Story is predictable, but will lead you along anyhow.
This is an \"everybody chases the kid\" type of movie which probably will appeal mostly to younger audiences. I gave this one a 2 out of 10.
I dug up my old VHS copy of this film. I don't think it's on DVD.
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user\nThis one hardly compares to the space adventures of its time. Those being Star Wars and Star Trek. And while I am no fan of Star Trek, I recognize that this film pales in comparison to the series Trekkies ooze over. In fact, I would place Back to the Future in better light in terms of space and travel.
The story is of a boy who is captured by space raiders (pirates). In a obviously fake and unentertaining battle, the captured boy befriends the pirates and even helps them. And slowly, one by one, those raiders die off. In the end, the boy gets to return home and the last remaining pirates escapes gravely wounded.
The acting wasn't that great. But what really is obvious is the total lack of interesting dialogue, effects, and storyline. How they even got 80 minutes of this is beyond me.
If you want to take a shot at it because it involves space, go ahead. But be warned. \"D\"
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user\nIt took me a few years to hunt down this title, a major staple of my childhood. Almost every trip to the video shop I'd pick out Space Raiders and watch it three times every time my mother rented it for me. It was, I suppose, my Star Wars.
It's a shame then that it's such a stinker. My memories were so hazy that it offered nothing in terms of nostalgia so I had to take it at face value. A crew of space pirates accidentally kidnap a pretty annoying little kid and spend the rest of the movie trying to get him home.
Aimed squarely at the under-tens it's got unwelcome slapstick, very shoddy costumes and make-up, recycled special effects, wobbly sets and poor acting. But even with the unintentional comedy it's no fun to see it as an adult, where I can pick out not just the technical faults but wonder at how spectacularly the writer and director managed to botch an endless stream of no-brainer fun/powerful moments that have been seen in a million other sci-fi movies and in the hands of anyone remotely competent should have been successful.
I imagine as a kid I probably found it quite empowering - there are lots of \"I can't do this, I'm just a kid\" \"Sure you can kiddo, you just have to try!\"-type exchanges; the kid drinks beer, etc., but even by low budget 1983 sci-fi standards this one's pretty awful, with a real snoozer of a \"finale\".
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user\nAs several posters have \"hinted,\" this is a sorry \"Star Wars\" ripoff. Now if you're going to rip off \"Star Wars,\" at least do it right; \"Battlestar Galactica\" did, and there were a few other space operas that didn't do a bad job of it, but this is definitely not one of them. David Mendenhall, the juvenile lead, actually isn't too bad, though he goes overboard on the \"cute\" factor every so often. Vince Edwards hasn't improved much as an actor since his \"Ben Casey\" days; if anything, he's even more wooden than he was ten. The other performances are nothing to write home about, either. Even worse are the special effects; the best you can say about them is that they're lousy. It's glaringly obvious that the \"aliens\" are simply actors wearing rubber masks with a little foam or latex slopped on them, and the \"battle\" scenes between Edwards' raiders and the aliens are poorly staged and badly shot. A very weak effort from Roger Corman. Skip it.
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user\nA Roger Corman rip-off assembled for what appears to be virtually zero budget. All of the special effects were originally used in \"Battle Beyond the Stars\", and I suspect a fair amount of the props, costumes and sets were re-used from other sources as well. The story seems to have been written around these elements, so this isn't really a movie as much as it's a recycling project. Third-rate \"Star Wars\" junk wasn't needed then or now.
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user\nThis movie is a desperate attempt to ride the skirtales of the success of the Star Wars movies. The film uses recycled footage from \"Battle Beyond the Sars\" which is another Roger Corman Sci-Fi Turd, but atleast this one is better than \"Battle Beyond the Stars\" - there is no real acting in this film (but its a Roger Corman film-What did you expect)again the entire soundtrack was done on a Keyboard/Synthasizer, the sound effects are recycled from \"Battlestar Galactica\" - there are no special effects because they were recycled/rearranged space scenes from another movie, the costumes look like something right out of 1981 salvation army salvage. --ironicaly, the little boy in this film gives one helluva performance, and he'd resurface again to star in the Sylvester Stallone movie \"Over the Top\" - I give this movie 3 stars out of 10
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user\nI've been trying to remember the name of this movie for years (not consecutively, of course). I saw it at the local dollar theater when I was 11, and it was so atrocious I almost walked out; I think I didn't realize one was allowed to leave before the movie ended. Anyway, it stuck in my mind as just about the worst movie I saw growing up. I can finally give it the rating it deserves.
1/10 (that was strangely satisfying)
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user\nTruly awful. Obviously an attempt to cash in on the Star Wars craze, but there's no excuse for this insipid piece of garbage. The storyline gets lost before the middle, the characters are forgettable and the kid is such a non-talent that all he does is pose for the camera. An alien planet they land on is actually the Naval stockyards in Long Beach, California.
This movie actually made me physically ill watching it.
Roger Corman has made some good, some bad movies in his career, but there's no excuse for this one.
0/10 - IMDb won't let you score a zero.
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user\nOK, no one will confuse this with Citizen Kane but you've got to love a movie where the women are always topless. There are a few catfights and some kinky sex as well. On the other hand I hope they didn't overpay the guy who wrote the dialogue. Here's a prime example. After one of the captive girls dies:
\"This is terrible. It reminds me of the day Zenobia died\" \"A relative?\" \"No, my favorite cow.\" I guess they saved some money on the script and blew it on great special effects like that plastic crocodile. I will say that it took me three sittings to make it through this fine work of art, never a good sign. I guess that's what happens after a while when everything looks the same. I hope the folks waiting to rent it next didn't get too impatient. Don't worry folks, it's on it's way.
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user\nI am a fan of Jess Franco's bizarre style, and a lover even of his trashier films, and my personal opinion is that he has, besides several very entertaining movies, also created a few masterpieces, such as the brilliant \"Paroxismus\" aka \"Venus In Furs\" of 1969, for example. It is, however, an undeniable fact that the 180+ movies this highly prolific filmmaker has directed in his career, also include a bunch of big time stinkers. \"Sadomania\" of 1981 certainly is one of these stinkers, just an utterly bad and plot less movie with the ability to bore the hell out of you in spite of constant sleaze and nudity.
Sure, the constant nudity will keep you entertained for 20 minutes, but since it keeps going on and on like that one is pretty likely to get bored after a short time. The only thing that really kept me watching this was the intensity of the sleaze which is, generously spoken, slightly amusing.
After couple of newlyweds get lost in the desert on some island, they are stopped by a bunch of topless women carrying guns, wardens of a local prison camp. While the husband is banished from the island, the wife is taken to the prison camp, a place of torture and sexual humiliation, reigned by the sadistic nymphomaniac Magda and an extremely perverted governor. The prisoners are, of course, entirely hot chicks, most of them blondes, the wardens are entirely topless women carrying rifles.
The plot, if one can call it that, is extremely stupid of course, but who is going to watch this for a good plot anyway. The (only) interesting thing about \"Sadomania\" is the high level of exploitation, even for a 'Women In Prison' film. There are probably two short scenes in the movie where we see a woman actually wearing a top, the sleaze contains all kinds of sexual perversions from rape to bestiality, and some of the torture scenes are really nasty.
It is amazing that a film with this extreme level of sleaze, however, can still be so boring. The sleaze will keep you watching in the beginning, but after the first 45 minutes I actually had a hard time not to fall asleep. It also makes me wonder why, out of all pornstars, Jess Franco chose Ajita Wilson, who was, according to most sources, a transsexual who had been born a man (well, maybe for exactly that reason). If you really want to watch this, make sure you have enough beer at home to sit through it and watch it for the sleaze and exploitation only (and maybe for the slight unintentional fun factor). Don't expect to be highly entertained, however, it is almost unbelievable how a movie with such a high sleaze level can be so boring. I am a Jess Franco fan and I always will be, but \"Sadomania\" is just bad. 2/10
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user\nJesus Franco is pretty hit or miss on his films & I'd say this was a miss, that is, unless you're into total sleaze. I will say that the man has an eye for a good shot, even if it involves topless women with machine guns silhouetted against the ocean. This is overall pretty ridiculous and the acting is horrible, but the acting is the least of what this is about. And what is it about? Well, it's about 102 minutes of lesbianism, women picking and shoveling in the hot sun for no apparent reason, and just about as much sleaze as you can stand and maybe then some. Most notable (?) is a scene involving one young woman who is tied to a chair and an apparently amorous German Shepherd, and while what's going on is merely implied (thankfully) it is probably a scenario that I could have done without. I'd rank this up there with Tender Flesh as one of the Franco films I'd rather not have in my collection, although the music is jazzy and fun. 4 out of 10, yecch.
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user\nI can't help thinking that this is Franco's 'hamage' to the Marquis de Sade's \"One Thousand Days of Sodom\". People (in this case women) abducted to serve as slaves to a privileged elite? Check. Kinky sex? Check. Torture including whipping? Check. Victims chosen at random to be killed? Check.
Thank goodness Franco didn't go the whole hog and introduce cinema audiences to the delights of coprology (and indeed coprophagy), another perversion that crops up repeatedly in de Sade's tediously long and disgusting saga.
I rather hoped that this film would fall into the 'so bad it's good' category. But even the acres of naked flesh and numerous sexual encounters didn't make up for the dismal dialogue, dreadful acting, elusive plot and - just to put the tin hat on it - dubbing AND English sub-titles (a belt and braces approach missing from the women's costumes). The Alsation gave a very professional performance though.
Of course I could be wrong about the de Sade angle. After all, I failed to realise that the actor playing the head warden at the 'prison' was a trans-sexual. I must pay more attention to the size of people's hands in future.
According to another reviewer, the film was banned in the UK. Well it clearly isn't any more, though I fancy that the nipple-needling scene was cut to satisfy the censors. On the DVD I watched, it was only clearly visible on the Spanish trailer (which, in case you're wondering, I watched to compare it with the English one).
The DVD also features an interview with Jess Franco, though you'll need better Spanish than mine to understand it. Unless I'm much mistaken it's neither dubbed nor sub-titled. And it points out that the person sodomising the character played by Franco is Ajita Wilson disguised using a moustache. Kind of ironic, given that (s)he had had the requisite appendage surgically removed.
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user\nGenerally speaking, I'm a an admirer of Jess Franco's film-making but, for some of this movies, I really have difficulties understanding the motivation behind them or even their reason of existence. Like this sick puppy, for example. \"Sadomania\" has absolutely no cinematic value, it's poorly made without any sort of plot and featuring some of the most ill-natured sleaze footage ever captured on film. This is another filthy women-in-prison film where rape, lesbian-action and violent torture games are daily routine. The guards are crazier than the prisoners and the institution is protected by an impotent governor who only gets sexually aroused when he spots a girl having sex with a dog (!). The girls are all very beautiful and naked throughout the entire film, yet you can't really enjoy this sight with all the perversion going on. The dubious highlights include a barbaric hunting game (you can guess what he prey is), a duel-to-death between a guard and a prisoner and the image of a poor girl having a needle injected all the way through her nipple. Auch! Avoid this sick mess and you'll save yourself the trouble of taking TWO baths in order to wash the filth off.
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user\nthis movie is the worst EVER!!! sorry but this was a total waste of good hours. quasi-psychology and b-actors makes a baaaad horror movie. you can say that if you are into bad movies you will adore this one. and the \"hot chick\" wasn't all that hot. there is absolutely no climax to the movie, and the worst part is the ending song. some homemade thing with these words \"its in awful condition the world is a mess. when heads fall of bodies and girls wont stay dressed. the cops they are clueless, eating donuts in their car. newspaperflash next morning: headless body,topless bar.\" Jesus! sorry guys, but milks gone bad with this one.
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user\nMy mate and I chose to watch this obvious piece of junk purely based on its tagline After nearly 30 years of lousy and rudimentary teen slashers, I can't believe that only just now some nerdy horror brainiac come up with the brilliantly witty slogan \"They Axed for it\"! Other than that, \"Miner's Massacre\" is just as random, annoying and forgettable as all the rest out there. Perhaps even more! The script contains all the typical clichés and features all the dreadfully stereotypic characters you wish a horrible and painful death to. The gore effects are computer engineered and thus beyond pitiable and the obligatory \"big\" stars (Karen Black, John Philip Law and Richard Lynch) are entirely wasted in spite of their top billing. Cursed mines and abandoned ghost towns form an ideal horror setting  the creators of \"My Bloody Valentine\" already figured that out in the early 80's  but his dull film simply hasn't got any innovative ideas or even remotely surprising elements to offer. Bunch of greedy twenty-something losers, which refer to themselves as friends even though they clearly can't stand each other, desecrate an ancient mine in search of the gold that is allegedly hidden there. Of course they unwarily resurrect the zombie miner this way and he just 150 years of rest in order to prepare for a massive teen massacre. Yay! The cast is exceptionally irritating in this one. The girls all have impressive racks but refuse to show anything. Instead, they all prefer endless whining and the taking of needless risks. The dim-witted blokes clearly just serve as screen fillers. In her barely five minutes of playtime, Karen Black still manages to make an utter fool out of herself by depicting the most prototypic and hysterical local nut woman ever. The zombie has a stupid and very unconvincing face, but he looks okay and reasonably menacing when shown in the distant shadow of the moonlight whilst swinging around his pick-axe. Since the best thing about \"Miner's Massacre\" concerns the aforementioned tagline and you can read that on the box in the video store itself, there's very little else to recommend here. Director John Carl Buechler scored a few modest hits during the eighties, like notably the original \"Troll\" and a fair \"Friday the 13th\" sequel, but it's obviously time to retire now.
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user\nThis was bad enough. I really hope that there is no sequel. Maybe that is giving away part of the plot to let you know that it is open to the possibility, but no, it really isn't.
There is really not at all special about this movie. Well, the special effect were fairly good, but nothing to write home about.
There were some hot babes in her, especially Elina Madison and Alexandra Ford, but nothing to see folks. PG-13, definitely not an R. That also tells you the slasher aspects were less than spectacular. The shovel to the head was the only thing that was unusual.
Tame scare fare.
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user\nDirector and FX man John Carl Buechler doesn't have to do much in order to terrify me; the sight of his name in the credits alone is enough to strike fear into my heart.
His lamentable straight-to-video output in the 80s sat on the bottom shelf of the horror section at my local rental shop; twenty years later, and his DVDs occupy the same space. It seems that the more things change, the more they stay the same. You can rely on old JCB to serve up dreck, whatever the format and regardless of advances in movie-making technology.
In this contemptible offering, a bunch of friends travel to a remote town where they discover the secret treasure hoard of Jeremiah Stone, AKA the forty-nineran evil, claim-jumping, cannibalistic miner who caused havoc in the mid-1800s. Before his death, Jeremiah cursed anyone who should find his gold, and it's not long before the pick-axe wielding killer is back, bumping off the hapless treasure seekers.
With its dreadful script, unimpressive make-up effects and Scooby-Doo style villain, 'The Curse of the Forty-Niner' is par for the course for Buechler. Only genre stalwarts Keren Black, Richard Lynch and John Phillip Law lend this movie any credibility whatsoever, with the rest of the cast giving performances ranging from bad to awful (although I'll forgive Alexandra Ford, who is a complete hottie).
Even fans of bad schlock horror will be disappointed since most of the women keep their clothes on, and a lot of the deaths occur off-screen (which is probably not such a bad thing since the on-screen deaths are pathetic).
'The Curse of the Forty-Niner' is another in a long list of duds for John Carl.
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user\nThe monster will look very familiar to you. So will the rest of the film, if you've seen a half-dozen of these teenagers-trapped-in-the-woods movies. Okay, so they're not teenagers, this time, but they may as well be. Three couples decide it might be a good idea to check out a nearly-abandoned ghost town, in hopes of finding the gold that people were killed over a scant century-and-a-half before. You'd think that with a title like \"Miner's Massacre\" some interesting things might happen. They don't. In fact, only about 1/10 of the film actually takes place in the mine. I had envisioned teams of terrified miners scampering for their lives in the cavernous confines of their workplace, praying that Black Lung Disease would get them before The Grim Reaper exacted his grisly revenge, but instead I got terrestrial twenty-somethings fornicating--and, in one case, defecating--in the woods, a gang of morons with a collective I.Q. that would have difficulty pulling a plastic ring out of a box of Cracker Jacks, much less a buried treasure from an abandoned mine. No suspense, no scares, and a couple of embarrassing performances. Somebody forgot to tell the writers that \"Fool's Gold\" refers to the genuineness of the gold, not the people who are looking for it. 3/10
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user\nReturn to Frogtown was a hard film to track down. Well, I accomplished that mission and it had been sitting on the shelf for a good while. Wish it was kept that way! First, Sam Hell is of course not Roddy Piper. He is replaced by a dude with a large face, less charisma, and this poor actor is very soft-spoken for the part! Sam Hell is supposed to be rebellious and awesome. Here, he gets captured THREE times! What kind of a hero is that?! Spangle is replaced as well here by another actress. Why did we not get different characters here? This was stupid! Lou Ferrigno stars in this film and he is not even the hero. Common sense says let Lou be the hero of the film! Bad effects, poor acting, and just a forgettable film. Funny as they take shots at Ninja Turtles 2 with the whole concert scene in this movie. At least Ninja Turtles 2 was funny and not a bad movie! I really wanted to like Return to Frogtown, but I just cringed when the fight scenes would commence. This film makes Turtles 3 look like gold! Avoid this or you will be the one singing \"meaner, greener, talking turtle TV dinner!\"
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user\nHercules wound up falling into the same category as many promising television productions that could have been a really great classic, only to become a sad joke.
I really like Kevin Sorbo and his supporting cast, but I didn't care for the direction the show took since their movie equivalents either. I believe the show would have had a much more successful run if they had kept the same format they did for the movies.
I watched in the beginning and lost interest along the way. I did encounter the odd episode afterwards, but my attention span towards it was lucky to make it to commercial break.
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user\nThis Game is a good looking First Person Shooter. -----------Hang on......
But of course a story must be put around this genre, so a quite innovative plot about soldiers now driven by drugs to save the world and kill the terrorist, Nectar is the drug of choice which creates a super soldier.
Great, now just give us some fun, challenging missions, throw in some great new weapons and free terrain vehicles that can be driven at our leisure and I will be quite content.
NO!!!!
The maker's of this game decide to create a propagandish, military driven game, that tries to make sense of our fears of terrorism and embracing democracy. The game has twisted ideals that just re-enforce morals that we learned when we were in primary school, nothing new is told to us, but \"Drugs are bad...mmmkay\". Then pushed in a type of ....Yvan eht Nnnioooojjjjj! (join the navy) of how standing up for the common good, given rants on normality and abnormality, right and wrong....GOOOOOOOOOOD WE GET IT! LET's KILL SOMETHING!!!!
NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You can't, You are forced to endure extremely long gaps of completing BULLSH!T objectives such as \"Run to Helicopter\".......\"Go to group of Troops\" .....Then once this is completed.........CINEMATIC takes over.........You sit there for at least half of the game watching little scenario's played out by the characters, one's you CANNOT skip, but sit and wait, sometimes when people aren't even talking, we sit and wait for a helicopter to land!
Bad game, by a laughable group of programmers! Don't bother making another because I will rather see the movie!
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user\nFor many months I was looking forward to this release. The previews looked good, early reports on the net were encouraging, and golden eye and Timesplitters were excellent shooters (by the same people). It turns out I was greatly misled! Haze had the potential to be up there with Call of Duty 4 and other next gen shooters, however it looks, plays and feels like something from 5 years or so ago. I played Haze on a 1080 TV and was initially disappointed that the game's developers had limited the graphics to 720. The Haze universe lacks detail and atmosphere, the feeling of \"they must have really rushed to finish this\" is always there.
The controls are sluggish and cumbersome, and i have yet to find an adjustment for x/y axis sensitivity . There are many parts of the single player game that are very dark (visually), to the point where you can't actually see where you are going. Why not add a torch function like in Halo? or even better, night vision? The use of the performance enhancing drug \"nectar\" is interesting, however just as you get used to it you switch sides and don't use it again! why bother? I could go on with many more Haze faults, but instead i'll just say Don't BOTHER! wait for killzone 2 or play call of duty 4 and try to unlock the gold AK!
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user\nAt the beginning of 'Loggerheads', we're introduced to three pairs of seemingly unrelated characters. To make matters even more confusing, we're informed (via titles on the screen) that the action is taking place in three separate time lines (between the years 1999 and 2001). It takes a great deal of time but eventually we come to see how the three pairs are related: Mark Austin, a young man in his 20s, gay and HIV Positive is estranged from his conservative parents, Elizabeth and Rev. Robert Austin.
Mark is now a drifter and arrives in Kure Beach, North Carolina, a seaside town, where he meets George (sensitively played by Michael Kelly), a gay motel owner and they eventually become involved with each other. Meanwhile, Mark's birth mother, Grace (played by Bonnie Hunt) has come to the point in her life where she has decided to find the son she gave up for adoption when she was 17. Similarly, Mark's adoptive mother, also has decided to track her estranged son as she misses him (despite the misgivings of her homophobic minister husband).
'Loggerheads' we're told is based on a true story and that perhaps is its Achilles Heel. Director/Writer Tim Kirkman tries too hard to create scenes fraught with dramatic tension where there is very little to be found. Take Mark and Georgethey're both sensitive souls who have little to disagree about. There's some slight tension when Grace faces off against an Adoption Agency Director who is forbidden by law to give her any information about her lost son as well as a slight conflict with her mother who denies that she disapproved of her when she became pregnant as a teenager. No sparks fly either between Elizabeth and Robert since the good Reverend has adamantly insisted from the beginning that he has no intention of reconciling with his son.
'Loggerheads' is similar to 'Brokeback Mountain' in that the gay couple are the good guys and the straight males (for example, the Kure Beach cop and the Reverend) are the baddies. The biggest letdown of the movie is that there is no interaction (and hence no dramatic conflict) between Mark and either one of his 'mothers'. Mark is already dead before either the birth or adoptive mother has a chance to reconcile with him.
Kirkman's theme is both a plea for tolerance and an exhortation for family members to express their heartfelt feelings before it's too late! Kirkman's sentiments are for the most part well-intentioned but they do not make for good drama. Loggerheads moves along at a snail's pace without providing any new revelations (or suspense) regarding such topics as AIDS, Adoption and Homophobia. Ultimately 'Loggerheads' fails due to a lack of originality.
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user\nWell, now that all of the director/ productions company's friends and relations have posted their shill reviews after seeing this at various festivals, I guess it's time to show reviews written by people who actually paid 10 bucks to see it.
Like the director's \"Dear Jesse\" (the only other one of his films I have seen), \"Loggerheads\" suffers from a lack of focus and too many ideas crammed into an indie budget. I swear, this guy might have better luck doing miniseries. I kept waiting for the various plot threads to come together, but they only intercepted at points blatantly forshadowed in a way obvious to all but the most dense viewer. It was like watching a season of Lifetime made-for-TV movies crammed into one, long (did I say LOOONG) sketch on the old \"Carol Burnett\" show. Maybe an enterprising male suitor could take his girlfriend to see this and then exclaim \"Hey...remember all of the chick flicks we went to last year...the one about the adoptive mother...the one about the gay guy...the one about the Christian housewife. We went to THREE Chick Flicks last year; so now we have to go see Terminator 4!\" I guess one has to do anything to cast a familiar actor to get funding, but what oh what is Bonnie Hunt doing in this flick? She isn't exactly known as a dramatic actress, and this attempted \"performance\" won't be sending Mr. Oscar to her door. I mean (speaking of Lifetime Original Movies), wasn't Valerie Bertinelli or Farah Fawcett available? Ms. Hunt has always come off to me as cold, maybe she should have played the other mom? I wish I would have chosen \"Capote\" to fill my weekly Gay-themed Indie Allowance..oh well, maybe next week. I think there is a good reason why Capote is playing at tons of theatres all over the NYC area and this one is playing at only one; let the distributors faith in this flick assure to to run in the opposite direction if you don't trust this review!
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user\nA wallflower is tossed into the sea and dreams herself into a pirate fantasy as a damsel in love with a pirate's apprentice. Energetic and good-natured, perhaps, but a shoddy enterprise; a failed musical send-up of \"The Pirates of Penzance\" with a cheap, backlot feel, wan bubblegum songs and constant, leering overacting. Kristy McNichol's film career took a real hit after this, while leading man Christopher Atkins cannot get a grip of any particular emotion, his voice wobbling about in search of an appropriate tone. You have to wonder, if that's the best title they could come up with, what's the level of wit going to be in the actual script? The movie's \"Grease\"-like affection for musicals doesn't gel with its penchant for slapstick a la \"Airplane!\", although McNichol works overtime being effervescent and nearly makes the limp handling look endearing. For the most part, it is an embarrassment. *1/2 from ****
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