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The Kite Runner began as one of those "important" films that most people fawn over because they are told that they should if they want to be among the elite and quickly descended into an idiotic film of absurdly outlandish proportions.
I've never read the book, and never felt the need because I honestly don't care. Sure I'm called uninformed for saying it but I truly have no interest whatsoever in just another "pull at your heartstrings, copy off of all other story lines to get emotion from the readers" novel, even if it is set in Afghanistan.
That said, I watched the movie. I heard good things about its beauty, and how touching it was and decided why not? As it turns out, there was a very good reason why not. Not only was the so called main character completely unsympathetic (I get it, he was young and this is a film about redemption but honestly he was horrible. I hated him and not in that good 'Anti-hero' way, he was just a dull, idiotic, self-absorbed character that I felt nothing towards) but the rest of the story was so completely absurd that I couldn't believe how everyone else was fawning over how beautiful it was, and how they cried and it moved them. I'm sorry, but I only feel moved by something that feels realistic, Sci-Fi has been known to move me, fantasy as well...but this? Please. This surpassed many other movies for pure absurdity! My biggest peeve, Hassan was Amir's brother...really? You sure you didn't just rip that off from a thousand other stories? Positive that that particular tidbit wasn't just added in to try to pull more tears out of your audiences (y'know the type of people who look for reasons to cry during a movie)? I was rolling my eyes when that "twist" was revealed knowing that it could only go downhill from there (not to mention flashing back to Star Wars "Amir, Hassan is your brother" "NOOOoo, that's not true, that's IMPOSSIBLE!") Oh, and it certainly did. Filled to the brim with cliché's and just plan dumb storytelling. Like "good guy miraculously escapes bad guy against all odds with help from spunky kid who despite being viciously sodomized and having no clue who you are is willing to help out with a conveniently placed weapon that holds special meaning to you". Ooh and don't forget the oh so idiotic "finally getting vengeance on the kid who teased you when you were little who, surprise surprise, has turned into a psychopathic adult" (trust me guys, I understand you like to live vicariously through movies but that'll never happen. You know that kid who teased you in high school...he's no terrorist, he's probably an accountant.)
Oh, and I must mention the CGI-tastic kites! I think those were on par with the "Matrix" movies and "Transformers" bravo you guys! BRAVO!
It seems this movie was just made for western audiences who need to a reason to care about the Middle East (hey an overly emotional friendship story will work!) This is one of the most shallow movies I've had the misfortune of seeing, it poses as deep well...but when you get right down to it, it's nothing special.
Unfortunately, the core of America's audience will do what they're told and follow the "It's about controversial material so it must be good!" way of thinking.


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