Are you the the legally recognized spouse or a designated family member of a Veteran?
I am a designated relative
You may be able to get financial help for burial and funeral costs.  We can help you find out how to apply for a Veterans burial allowance.
we are having trouble finding some of the needed discharge documents so can you help us with that ?
Yes, we will help you.  It may take us several days to check eligibility if you don’t have discharge documents.
this is new to us and we haven't gotten a pre-need letter, so what do we do?
You should get a funeral director to help you plan the burial. Then the person planning the funeral will need to take the appropriate steps to schedule the burial
so there is more still to do that has to happen to do it right?
Yes, a funeral director can help you with the needed information and documents
Do we contact a national cemetery if we need to change something on a burial?