Barker Rick: General Debates 
Barker Rick: General Debates 
[Volume:610;Page:7661] 
Hon RICK BARKER (Minister for Courts) 
: 
 That was another typical Nick Smith speech—wild reckless allegations under the privilege of this House. It shows one thing: Nick Smith has learnt a lesson about speaking out outside this House. He spoke about the abuse of foreign ownership rules. The House ought to know that the people he referred to applied for ownership of that land in 1999 and— 
Hon Dr Nick Smith 
: I said that. 
Hon RICK BARKER 
: No the member did not say that. It was signed off by the Hon Bill Birch; it was signed off under a National Government. That member was a member of the Cabinet in that Government that signed it off. 
The second reckless allegation made by Mr Nick Smith was that there were problems with immigration and immigration issues. The House ought to know because that member will not tell it that permanent residence was granted to the people concerned in May 1999 under a National Party Government. 
Darren Hughes 
: That’s two down. 
Hon RICK BARKER 
: That was another reckless allegation. I am gobsmacked that the people of Nelson would ever go to Nick Smith with any concerns about the judicial system given that that member puts in court cases then does not turn up. Why would people ever trust his opinion on anything? 
That brings us to the parlous state of the National Party and its leadership. Murray McCully has proposed that a new axis be formed after the next Government of National ACT and no doubt New Zealand First because they would not make up the numbers without it. A few friends and I sat around the other night and thought about who would get what jobs. Of course Mr Power jumps up and down and says all these things. Ruth Dyson is right: Simon Power will become Prime Minister one day but the children who will see that happen— 
Hon Trevor Mallard 
: Oh no he won’t. 
Hon RICK BARKER 
: Oh yes he will but the children who will watch that happen have not got to primary school yet. We figured Nick Smith would not get anything but we did figure some things. We thought Mr Gerry Eckhoff would make a very good Minister of Conservation given that he wants to commercialise kiwis wants to have kiwi farming so that we can buy kiwi thighs in the supermarket. 
Hon Ruth Dyson 
: Kiwi roast dinners. 
Hon RICK BARKER 
: Yes. We thought Rodney Hide could have cultural affairs. He has been past a theatre once and he has been hamming it up ever since. I remember Mr Moore saying one time when Rodney was in his presence that Rodney Hide was the perfect example of why an ugly actor should become a politician. In terms of finance Don Brash and Richard Prebble would be the new finance people. One time when Richard Prebble was away from the Labour caucus he sent a telegram from China. Before the text could be read out someone in caucus said: “Dear colleagues I’m in China; so much to sell so little time. Richard.” The public needs to know that Richard would sell the lot. 
The ASSISTANT SPEAKER (H V Ross Robertson) 
: The member must use a member’s full name or his title. 
Hon RICK BARKER 
: Mr Richard Prebble would sell the lot. Obviously Peter Brown would get senior citizens Craig McNair would get youth affairs and Winston Peters would get ethnic affairs. He has great rapport with the Somalian community. 
Hon Trevor Mallard 
: Urban affairs. 
Hon RICK BARKER 
: He could get urban affairs. Obviously social welfare would go to Muriel Newman. She has written a book on how to get by on the smell of an oily rag in which she has advocated stealing and prostitution so she is well equipped to dismantle the social welfare State and bring in the law of the jungle. We thought that senior whip would be a very good position for Maurice Williamson and we thought Richard Worth could be the Minister of Foreign Affairs and Trade given his relationship with Monaco. He is now a consul for another country. 
Hon Ruth Dyson 
: And camels. 
Hon RICK BARKER 
: The member interjects about camels; that is very good. Given Richard Worth’s trip to El Alamein and the advice he got from camel drivers we thought that would bring an interesting twist— 
Hon Trevor Mallard 
: It’s unfair on camels. 
Hon RICK BARKER 
: Someone says it is unfair on camels. It would bring an interesting twist to the sort of advice that would be given. We spent lots of hilarious time contemplating the very very unlikely prospect of a National - ACT - New Zealand First Government. It is very unlikely because those parties are trying to scare New Zealanders into changing their alliance and changing their votes. Those parties should see that wonderful commentary  
Bowling for Columbine 
 where it is quite clear that one of the tactics of some people is to frighten the community into doing other things. Those parties will not frighten the public into changing their opinion.