Mitchell Clayton; Mallard TrevorVALEDICTORY STATEMENTSCLAYTON MITCHELL (NZ First): Thank you Mr Speaker. I have to declare this: I'm just joking. I'm not actually leaving; I just wanted to have a good leer up with all my friends and family to kick things off. But I'm just going to take a moment while some more come into the gallery and actually just take it all in really because six years has gone in a blink and I can't actually believe I'm here having this moment. I've got 15 minutes to cram in six years of great times and great people that I've met along the way. In fact I think this is the second time only that I've written a speech for the House. The first one was my maiden speech. And look at that—I'm already off track! I've completely lost my train of thought. I normally just free ball it but let's give it a go. Righty-o to begin with I just want to thank Matty firstly. I'm now affectionately known by my friends as Clayton I am the law" Mitchell. I've still no idea why my friends affectionately refer to me as that but I've got Matty to thank for it. I have to say it's been a crazy couple of weeks in politics. In fact the last 24 hours has been even crazier so maybe that term needs to be modified slightly. Last week was a bit awkward also and nearly caused further embarrassment for the National Party when I got a call from one of their caucus members saying that I had their support to run for their leadership. I thought for a moment "What's this about? How can this be?" and I was taken aback until I realised that they'd called the wrong Mitchell. They hadn't cottoned on quite as quick as I did and I was quick to say "You should be calling Winston. He'd be a great leader for you guys." At which point they went "Ah. I thought this was Mark Mitchell." Crazy times and I don't know what's next. I don't think anybody could guess.Anyway it just seems like yesterday I was standing in the House for the first time doing my maiden speech as I've already said talking about all the things that matter—and still matter—such as fixing the Resource Management Act (RMA) building roads pushing for a single standard of citizenship for all New Zealanders stopping the wholesale selling off of our State assets building better internal capabilities for manufacturing and processing to add value to our exports to create wealth for Kiwis and of course controlling immigration. I haven't finished with helping out achieve those goals yet. There is much more that needs to be done and much more that we can all still do to make these things happen.Anyway six years on and a whole lot of rapid depreciation by way of a receding hairline—which I quite regularly get told about sitting behind the Deputy Prime Minister every day in the House. I get these emails from people saying "I don't know if you know this but you're going bald." I don't know what planet they're from that they think that that's an appropriate comment to make to a politician but we've got feelings too out there people. There's only seven that watch Parliament TV anyway.Anyway I'm off back to the real world. In my time as an MP I've had some highs—and I think if the Greens have their way New Zealand will be having a lot of highs after the referendum at the coming up election—and of course I've had some lows but I haven't had too many of those. I've had some lessons learnt like the fact that common sense isn't particularly common and that Australians like to fight over toilet paper when there's a pandemic which really surprised me. I've had plenty of incredible experiences learnt a whole lot and met some truly amazing people. I've seriously enjoyed being party whip and working on the Economic Development Science and Innovation Committee. I've worked on overhauling the RMA. I've brought balance to the labour and industrial relations discussion. I've continued to push for a single standard of citizenship. I've introduced a member's bill to make English an official language—most people don't even know that English is not an official language of New Zealand. I've worked to find a fair solution for small to medium sized enterprise tenants during the COVID lockdown and people know we've been doing a lot of work behind the scenes on that one. I've worked to get the firearms legislation in a much better place and I've worked with the racing Minister to ensure the racing industry got the reforms required to ensure it was sustainable long into the future—and that was just last month. But now according to reliable media sources I'm heading back to the real world to beat up a few gang members get thrown out of some bars and toss a few dwarfs. But more of that later—and I don't mean at the function because I couldn't get hold of any leprechauns so there is definitely no dwarf-tossing tonight.Today I'm here to reflect on my time in Parliament to thank and acknowledge the wonderful friends and family who have supported me and to acknowledge the great people I have met and worked with—not only those people in and around Parliament and across the political divide but also throughout the real world in business and industry spread from Cape Reinga to the Bluff and even internationally. I want to take a moment to genuinely thank and acknowledge the many who've made the journey to be here in the gallery today. A big thankyou for taking the time out of your busy lives and giving me your support over the past six years. I truly mean it. You all mean so much to me and I really do feel quite flattered and honoured that you have taken the time to be here so thank you everyone. I'm looking forward to the after-match function of course for a couple of beers and some saveloys. That'll be a bit of fun. Of course I particularly want to thank my gorgeous wonderful family who have been patient and have shared my time with my job as an MP for the last six years. Particularly I want to thank my lovely wife Erika and my kids Jazzie Ollie and William. Will when you came here you were smaller than a grasshopper and you still have to sit on your hands to see over that rail there. Good to see you growing well mate. Keep up with those greens. But also with my mum and dad—my mum and sister Bobbi couldn't be here today nor could my mother-in-law and father-in-law Lesley and Neil or my UK family due to the travel restrictions. But I know you're watching along with Adam and Cath Big Rich Chris Blockley Pete and Nina. Thanks for tuning in. I know the other seven people that watch Parliamentary TV too—thank you.What a journey what a blast and what a very humbling and privileged time it has been. When I arrived at this place I was expecting a very hostile and sterile environment and one which I anticipated wouldn't be a particularly good fit with me. But I couldn't have been more wrong.Although I had never considered being a member of Parliament and anyone that knew me would have said it's not the right fit for me—eh Gibbo? Where are you? There you are. And partly because I'd never had any formal training I didn't use big words when I spoke and I hadn't been part of any debating team growing up—that and of course I struggle with bureaucratic nonsense and clipboard-carrying hard hat - wearing suck-ups who make your life unnecessarily difficult and the fact that I've got a reputation for not putting up with the woke brigade's politically correct BS. But I couldn't say that the proper word of that. But all that being considered I actually found I am a good fit for this place for all the reasons that I've outlined: because I do speak fluent human I don't mind standing up and having a good row and I won't be bullied or capitulated by the metropolitan elite. To that end I have truly had a great time and I mean it. Where else can you go for a good dust-up make some changes and get paid for it? Now I feel like I've got a Master's in politics with a far better understanding of how this place works and how to get things done which has been absolutely fascinating.I've had some high times and I've had some low times as I've already alluded to. Starting with the ups I have to say the Northland by-election in March of 2015 was a truly incredible time and one that I immensely enjoyed being part of. But every up has its down and the low point of that three-week campaign was actually hardest felt by my good friend Fletcher Tabu-two-toes who had to share a room with me every day and put up with me snoring. In fact after the first night I woke up with Fletcher saying "Jesus Christ mate. Your wife is going to leave you." I replied with "What? Why?" I thought I might have sleepwalked in the night and given him a nice big spoon. It's true. He said "Because you snore so bloody loud." In my defence I just want to add I was not snoring I said; I was just dreaming I was a motorbike. But after three weeks of it I couldn't claim or justify the reoccurring dream status. So sorry Fletch. I truly do apologise to you mate. I digress.Anyway what I've learnt—I've learnt a whole lot during my time in Parliament starting with: you don't need to be in the same party as someone that you are friends with. When I look around this room I genuinely see people that I've enjoyed working with people that I honestly respect—and you know who you are. So thank you. Two I've also learnt you don't need to be smart to be an MP—sorry Matt King; I couldn't resist. I've also learnt you don't need to be smart or good-looking to be an MP—where is Benno? Sorry mate—couldn't help it. I've learnt that not all MPs read their paperwork before select committee but everyone says they have. It's not hard to work out which ones are which. I've been guilty of that a couple of times—"Yeah yeah—read it read it read it." Take it as read but yeah we know who you are—oh there you are over there Benno. You've gone a bit redder than normal.I've learnt that media have their own agenda and will often completely twist the truth to suit their agenda. However there are a couple of journos I trust—keep up the good work to you I say. I've also learnt that you can apply an economic term to just about any situation you like by internalising your externalities. Isn't that right Fletch? Private joke. I've also learnt that even if you're allergic to people you can be a great politician Darroch. So maybe there's an ointment or a Lucozade you could take. But finally I've learnt that division by multiplication is a term I just couldn't quite work into my speech so sorry about that Brent—I tried bro.Right—my decision to not stand again was one which I haven't made lightly. Time's flying. Almost a year ago actually—just after your 40th birthday Kimbers—I spoke to Winston and Fletcher letting them know of my plan to not seek nomination in 2020 because I felt that six years was about the right amount of public service time for me and I was ready to get back to the real world of business. Winston asked me to sleep on it for a while which of course I did. As he said I might want to change my mind at some point. In fact during the lockdown I had plenty of time to think about what I wanted to do and it became abundantly clear to me that my decision to not do another term was the right one.To some COVID was stressful beyond words. It was hard on families relationships and particularly business and I'm very mindful of that. But to me it was one of the most amazing times. The world slowed down. Everything was reset and the norm was no longer the norm. Most importantly and much to my pleasant surprise I realised my wife still loved me and I still adored her. We had fun together and worked on projects too. During COVID I connected with my kids in a way that I had never done before either helping them with homework going on walks playing cards and having family discussions about the world and all its wonders. That was priceless. I'm so proud of my family and how they make me feel. Without them who am I? Another three years would see Jazzie heading off to uni would see Ollie borrowing the car keys and not wanting to hang out with the olds and William would be off to high school. He'd be able to see over the lectern too—sit on your hands mate. There he is! Yeah poke your head up. That's why I'm not re-standing because you all up there mean so much to me the absolute world. I love you to bits more than anything.Now everyone wants to know what I'm going to do next. Hopefully I'll have time at the end to fill you all in. I don't want to do a Tim Macindoe on you—like you did at your maiden speech—ripping through the pages to get through the end of it. I'm already under pressure of time—righty-o moving on.I've met some lifelong friends in and outside of Parliament and I look forward to regular catch-ups with you all in the next weeks and years ahead. I'd like to start by thanking Audrey van Dalen who has been an incredible office manager and great friend to me. I will truly miss our daily catch-up Audrey; thank you. I'd like to also thank Talani Meikle for being the best pocket rocket in the business. I'm going to miss working with you too Talani wherever you are—there you are. I see you up there. A big thankyou to Mike Allie Paul Louie Taylor and all the team on the 13th floor. What a pleasure it has been to work with you. Thank you for your support and help. Also I'd like to thank the team on the seventh floor particularly Helen Lahtinen affectionately known as "Northern Efficiency". It's been great working with you too. I hope you're in there.To my electorate wow—truly wow. I couldn't have done it without you. Roy Townhill your blood is worth bottling mate and I'll miss you. Giving me my weekly serve of honesty is a great virtue. To my electorate committee thank you for believing in staying the course even when the course wasn't always clear—even for me it wasn't clear sometimes. Thank you also to Chris Lee who has always been a rock that I could depend on. I want to thank Mary Gear and the Gear family for your constant support love and loyalty. Just a quick side note: Tommy Gear was the patriarch of the Gear family but sadly this term he passed away leaving a massive hole in our New Zealand First family. I wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for his tenacity and friendship. Thank you my friend. We're missing you mate.Finally I want to thank my caucus. It's been a great honour and a huge privilege for me to be working alongside you all. Winston—and you know he doesn't like this sort of stuff—you are an inspiration and I've enjoyed beyond words the time I've had with you on your team. I've particularly loved campaigning with you but also sitting down at the end of the day over a nice hot cup of tea—aka single malt—discussing New Zealand and world politics among other things. You put everything into whatever you do and your wisdom and experience is second to none. Not only have you made politics interesting for me; you've made it fun.Shane we didn't know each other very well prior to this term although in saying that both you and Dot always made me very welcome at your home for your annual Waitangi hui. Now three years on I can say you're a great friend someone who I truly enjoy spending time with and always good humour great advice and your knowledge and counsel is unparalleled. As a footnote mate just so you're tuning in I have been asked by Dot to say stay off the pies and keep up with your training.Ron what a great pleasure it's been working with you mate over the past two terms. I'm not sure I can say this without getting cautioned or thrown out but it'll be the first time I've been thrown out of the House if it doesn't go so well: you're a genuine good bastard. Tracey thank you for being there for us all when we needed you. Mark working with you over the past term has been fantastic. You have a great future in politics. You never shy away from a good fight but you're respectful and diplomatic and a true ambassador for the primary industries. Jenny you hit the ground running and working with you has been great.But last but not least two friends that have genuinely become my brothers Fletcher and Darroch so completely different—and I couldn't underscore that enough—to each other but both so loyal humble and genuine. I've had so much fun working with you both laughing so much at times I've had tears coming down my legs. You both work your arses off and give everything to what you do. You are the unsung heroes and I will truly miss catching up with you guys every day.In conclusion—oh crikey I got it in—finally I want to thank the system for giving all New Zealanders a chance to represent their communities their people their support and their ideas. Democracy may not be perfect but it sure beats everything else. This term I had the chance to go to Uganda Lesotho and South Africa leading a delegation from New Zealand as the executive member of the Commonwealth Parliamentary Association with the Hon Maggie Barry who I'll be staying in the House to listen to straight after this—I'm staying with you ma'am yeah; great friend—and Anahila Kanongata'a-Suisuiki—did I say it right? I've been practising girl!—and Wendy Hart. It was there that I realised that at times politics in New Zealand can seem petty and childish with MPs being over-pedantic and making unnecessary snide and mean comments to one another—and that's just the MPs; don't get me started on the "meania" aka the fourth estate. However I realised that petty politics was far better than the AK-47 politics that parts of Africa and the world experience on a sometimes daily basis and that a difference of opinion doesn't wind you upside down in a ditch or missing to be never seen again.To that end I can say I'm proud to be a New Zealander and proud of our country. I'm proud of our people and I'm proud of our history. We need Kiwis with passion with drive and with experience in this place so step up and get involved. It will change your life. To New Zealand I truly thank you. Thank you very much.[Applause]SPEAKER: Order! [Interruption] Order! I'm just going to do something slightly unusual and indicate to the House that at the conclusion of the Hon Maggie Barry's valedictory speech the House will be suspended for the dinner break which means that we don't need to wait and we won't automatically finish at 6 o'clock."