Benson-Pope David: General Debates 
Benson-Pope David: General Debates 
[Volume:607;Page:4213] 
DAVID BENSON-POPE (NZ Labour—Dunedin South) 
: 
 In recent days and weeks much attention has been given to the activities of the ACT party which were highlighted by its pretend suspension as referred to by my colleague of a member of its caucus where it deliberately followed a course of action designed to ensure that it kept $110000 of party funding for a member whom it claimed to have disowned the same day. 
Now that the ACT party is so discredited it is little surprise to learn that it is considering a name change. What is it planning to call itself? Liberals! We know that ACT members have been toying with the “l” word. Catherine Judd and Roger had a look in the dictionary and they were dismayed. Liberal means: “giving or giving freely; generous open-minded not prejudiced favouring moderate political reform”. I do not think so! It is not the ACT party is it? ACT members have determined that henceforth they will call themselves the “Littorals”—that is with two “t’s” and an “o”; not “Literal” with one “t” and an “a” because the whole country knows only too well that one cannot believe a word any of those members say. That would not have done anyway as it is too close to the word “litter” with two “t’s”—an invitation to descriptions of ACT and its policies as a foul brood or rubbish junk and refuse. That is too close for comfort. So they will call themselves the “Littorals”. For those members who are unfamiliar with the word let me elaborate. “Littoral” means things to do with the seashore. 
Jill Pettis 
: Why? 
DAVID BENSON-POPE 
: I hear the member ask why that name. Is it because like any populist party its members believe that perhaps every New Zealander has had at least one happy experience at the beach—unless I suppose they were there with Rodney Hide? Could it be because everything ACT members do smells fishy? Could it be “Littoral” because when the hard questions come they clam up? Could it be because their party’s political tide is rushing out or because when asked to spell “integrity” they are all at sea? Could it be because their leader almost a “Pebble” is on the rocks or could it even be because their aspiring leader is named after a fish or perhaps because their whole caucus is desperately grasping for “paua”? 
Those are all perfectly good reasons on their own but none of them are the actual reason for the name change. The real reason of course is their extraordinary preoccupation with seafood. Like all seafood when it goes off as that party has done the stench is unparalleled. I hear my colleagues ask: “Preoccupation with seafood?”; let me explain. 
At Christmas we learnt of the activities of the Pipi Foundation. It has been a while since Christmas and those pipis are certainly starting to smell now. 
The first week of March told us what was happening in Pipitea Street. Nine or is it eight salaries and budgets totalling half a million dollars designed to enable MPs to be available to the electorate are being massaged to provide money for ACT party activities inside Parliament. The office furniture was moved in only after that rort had been revealed in the media. That “Pipitea” is starting to smell rather a lot as well. 
The third “pipi” for those members not familiar with the German language is the pipi of the little boy’s room—clearly an area in which Mr Hide from the revelations in the  
New Zealand Herald 
 has some interest and expertise. I do not know “wai” the heck he does but he clearly does. We would all prefer Mr Hide not to tell us about the smell. 
I think we should all thank that party and its members for making it so abundantly clear to our community what they have to offer New Zealand. What a fine kettle of malodorous fish: besmirched by a humble bivalve pickled by a pipi and munted by a mollusc. We are delighted on this side of the House as are all New Zealanders to see that those people are finally all washed up.