Prebble Richard: Customs and Excise (Alcoholic Beverages) Amendment Bill — First Reading Second Reading Instruction to CommitteeCWH In Committee Third Reading 
Prebble Richard: Customs and Excise (Alcoholic Beverages) Amendment Bill — First Reading Second Reading Instruction to CommitteeCWH In Committee Third Reading 
[Volume:608;Page:5409] 
Hon RICHARD PREBBLE (Leader—ACT NZ) 
: 
 I will address clause 3 of the bill which lifts the tax on alcoholic beverages of over 14 percent alcohol by volume but less than 23 percent which Mr Anderton tells us are the drinks that are corrupting the young. Mr Roger Sowry tells us that those beverages are actually sherry port Baileys and Madeira. 
I think we have found the reason Mr Anderton thinks that. I ask Mr Anderton whether this is the source of his concern. I asked the library for some research on Madeira and I was given this poem: 
She was young she was pure 
She was new she was nice 
She was fair she was sweet seventeen. 
He was old he was vile 
And no stranger to vice  
He was base he was bad he was mean. 
He had slyly inveigled her up to his flat 
To view his collection of stamps; 
And he said as he hastened to put out the cat 
The wine his cigar and the lamps: 
“Have some madeira m’dear 
You really have nothing to fear; 
I’m not trying to tempt you that wouldn’t be right 
You shouldn’t drink spirits at this time of night. 
Have some madeira m’dear 
It’s so very much nicer than beer. 
I don’t care for sherry one cannot drink stout 
And port is a wine I can well do without. 
It’s simply a case of  
chacun á son  
gout. 
Have some madeira m’dear!” 
Unaware of the wiles of the snake in the grass 
Of the fate of the maiden who topes 
She lowered her standards by raising her glass 
Her courage her eyes and his hopes. 
She sipped it she drank it 
She drained it she did 
And he quietly refilled it again 
And he said as he secretly carved one more notch 
On the butt of his gold-handled cane: 
“Have some madeira m’dear 
I’ve got a small cask of it here 
And once it’s been opened you know it won’t keep 
Do finish it up it will help you to sleep. 
Have some madeira m’dear 
It’s really an excellent year. 
Now if it were gin you’d be wrong to say yes: 
The evil gin does would be hard to assess 
(Besides it’s inclined to affect my prowess) 
Have some madeira m’dear.” 
Then there flashed through her mind what her mother had said 
With her ante-penultimate breath: 
“Oh my child should you look at the wine that is red 
Be prepared for a fate worse than death!” 
She let go her glass with a shrill little cry 
Crash! Tinkle!  
It fell to the floor. 
When he asked “What in heaven?” she made no reply 
But put in a dash for the door. 
“Have some madeira m’dear!” 
Rang out down the hall loud and clear 
A tremulous cry that was filled with despair 
As she paused to take breath in the cool midnight air. 
“Have some madeira m’dear!” 
The words seemed to ring in her ear … 
Until the next morning she woke up in bed 
With a smile on her lips and an ache in her head 
And a beard in her earhole that tickled and said: 
“Have some madeira m’dear!” 
I think we have found the key to why Mr Anderton thinks Madeira is corrupting of the young. It has brought back to him the Flanders and Swann song. I have to tell him that it is actually a song not proper research. The idea that Madeira is corrupting our young is a view that only Mr Anderton and Dr Cullen could possibly have. If there is any research other than what I found that says that Madeira is corrupting the young I invite the member to table it. 
Hon Member 
: The family party might have some. 
Hon RICHARD PREBBLE 
: It might. That member told us she had seen a bottle that was 22.5 percent proof. If the National Party can produce the lollipop drink bottles which are only 5 percent alcohol then I invite the United Party to produce this new drink that no one has heard of—to produce any evidence apart from what I have given that Madeira is causing any corruption of our young people. I believe that when this bill was put up none of the Labour Party caucus members asked any questions. They are so out of touch that they had no idea that what Jim Anderton was saying to them was a load of rubbish based on a Flanders and Swann song. Introducing a tax on Madeira is his swansong. What a triumph for his parliamentary career! When he is asked what he managed to do in Parliament he will say: “I managed m’dear to increase the tax on Madeira.” What an extraordinary achievement! I say to Government members that when they lose the next election it will be the tax on Madeira that did it.