Adams Paul: Prostitution Reform Bill — In Committee 
Adams Paul: Prostitution Reform Bill — In Committee 
[Volume:608;Page:5214] 
PAUL ADAMS (United Future) 
: 
 In speaking to the bill I will come at it from a different aspect. I went into a shop the other day and a young girl was sitting behind the counter wearing a T-shirt inscribed with the words: “It is all about me”. I smiled and asked her whether she really believed that. Life is not about “I”; it is about “us”. As computer experts tell us: “Junk in equals junk out”. I believe that humans are divinely made yet to a certain extent all of us will be programmed by what happens to us in life. I believe that Governments are responsible for much of the programming of New Zealanders by means of the laws we pass. We effectively tell people what is acceptable and what is not. I believe that this legislation gives the wrong message to sensible New Zealanders. 
Let me give an example of how life can programme us. We are all born of a mother and I do not believe that there are any exceptions to that. Yet life does not produce the same results for each of us. Why is that? Life itself begins to programme us long before we ever reach the age of understanding. Take little children for example; and I have two young grandsons. We pick them up throw them in the air and catch them. They laugh and have fun; they love it. Sadly some children are picked up and just thrown. That produces a far different result—it brings fear into their lives. As adults we may get mugged in the street and we think twice before going out alone. If we have been burgled we think twice about leaving our doors open. 
Life’s experiences affect our programming. A single breakdown can introduce a note of mistrust which if not corrected means that we are never as free again as we should be. Betrayed once as partners or children we become reluctant to give ourselves wholly and unconditionally to another person. We keep our distance lower our expectations stay cool aloof and separate. When that happens something of our world has been lost and it is not something small or insignificant. Love freely given and freely received the sharing of a life is the most profound experience to free us from loneliness. That is why I am a great supporter of permanent relationships. However a family that is not working correctly—and we see many in this nation—can be one of the most damaging places on this earth. 
That brings me to this bill. If it is passed it will make it far more acceptable for somebody to cheat on his or her partner. Most people in a permanent relationship would not find that acceptable. Indeed it could be the very thing that destroys the permanent relationship bringing devastation to any children involved. Nothing has brought more destruction into people’s lives in this nation than the destruction of relationships. Those who have had to live through that pain and heartache know what I am talking about. 
 So as we consider this bill tonight my question to members is have they considered the children? In our culture the many things that were once combined and enjoyed in a permanent relationship—sex affection friendship love bringing new life into the world caring for that new life and for one another—have all been separated so that the one is no longer expected to entail the other. Because of that breakdown children have been affected more than any other party. Many have lost the ability to love trust and openly share their lives with another. 
If we want any hope of living in a civilised society I believe we all have a responsibility to rebuild the family. Being unfaithful to our partners is not the way to build a family. If we can believe what we are told over 60 percent of the male clients of prostitutes are married. What percentage is therefore in a permanent relationship? A family is a great challenge at the best of times and this legislation will do nothing to build relationships and trust in one another which is something we desperately need to see again in our nation. We must therefore build relationships and families. Our moral sense will not allow children to continue to be neglected. Humanity has survived because of its capacity to impose the necessary sacrifices to protect its young. I for one do not want to be part of a society that when judged by history will show that it has campaigned for the protection of animals birds rare plant species whales and rainforests while failing to hear the cry of our own children. If we pass this legislation I believe we will be ignoring the heart-cry of young children in this nation who long to have a dad and a mum committed to each other and to their families. 
The family will yet again prove to be the axis on which our moral world will turn. We have to learn to take the focus off ourselves and learn that we are bound to others. Together we are the co-authors of our world. Far from being the institution we can least affect the family is the one that we can most affect because it is made or unmade by our choices. This bill has the same ability to destroy as a car driving down the wrong side of the road. There is a line we should not cross and this proposed law is one of them.