Robertson GrantHon GRANT ROBERTSON (Deputy Prime Minister): Mahalo aloha talofa and warm Te Puke greetings to you all. Former Labour leader Mike Moore used to joke that if you can fake authenticity you've got it made. Sadly Christopher Luxon didn't realise it was a joke; he took it as an instruction. I've got bad news for the Leader of the Opposition: Kiwis can sniff that out a mile away. That's why when someone says abortion is tantamount to murder and then decides to soothe your fears by saying nothing will change that person drops 5 percent in the preferred PM ratings. When he says that he will increase health spending by at least inflation each year Kiwis remember what actually happened when National were last in Government when the value of health spending went backwards. But that lack of authenticity reached new heights yesterday. It was obvious that for whatever reason Christopher Luxon wanted New Zealanders to think he was in Te Puke and not Hawaii. And it is true; they are easily confused.Mr Luxon and I are both children of the 1970s and 1980s that golden era when New Zealand had two TV channels and a ratio of sheep to people to make anyone scared. We grew up with TV shows set in exotic locations: Magnum P.I. Hawaii Five-O Close to Home. All these shows made rural Bay of Plenty look marvellous—no wonder Mr Luxon dreamt of holidays on the sun-drenched beaches of State Highway 33. In the morning yesterday when confronted with his mysterious time and hemisphere bending Mr Luxon finally said what his social media posts did not: I went to Hawaii in July as I tend to do." I'm not exactly sure how relatable that is. In July I tend to remember that I haven't cleaned the guttering out and that's why there's a massive waterfall going down my property but each to their own.The sad thing for the National Party is that this latest outbreak of "foot in mouth" is not the first of the brief but memorable tenure of the National leader. Just to run through a few highlights: "Abortion is tantamount to murder." "Low-income people are bottom feeders." "Let's get rid of Labour Day." "Sam Uffindell is bringing what's missing from the National caucus: intellect." and "New Zealanders have gone soft." The last few weeks have been a study in what is and what is not leadership. Leadership is not what we have seen from Mr Luxon going overseas and telling an audience at a right-wing thinktank what he thinks they want to hear and slagging off your own country. Leadership is what the Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern showed over the recess getting out there signing free-trade agreements leading business delegations and getting the first positive movement in decades on the rights of New Zealanders in Australia. The contrast could not be clearer.For me in the recess as I tend to do in July I got stuck into some reading. And I can summarise this book Blue Blood by Andrea Vance for the busy among you: John got bored and left the kids started fighting Chris Finlayson overestimated David Bennett—English Bridges Muller Collins etc.—Christopher Luxon becomes the leader. At one point National sources tell the author that John Key's influence on Christopher Luxon meant that with Luxon becoming leader it gave the feeling that daddy's home. Now leaving aside the weird creepy elements of that I think daddy is going to be sorely disappointed. A few years ago I was in Hong Kong—or maybe it was Hamilton; it's hard to know in any case—someone approached me and tried to sell me a designer bag. I asked if it was fake. The person said "No it's a genuine copy."Christopher Luxon is the genuine John Key copy: the fake Gucci bag of a leader fading in the sunlight. Under a bit of pressure the weak stitching is fraying the gold lettering is flaking away but as Andrea Vance says it seems not to matter that in all of this the National Party has lost its soul. Mr Luxon wrote poetically and a little bizarrely of becoming leader that we should not allow the future to happen to us but we should happen to the future. Well I think it's Back to the Future for the National Party because the book ends chillingly: "Pragmatism and a desire to win may paper over cracks but if Luxon's momentum fails and an impatient caucus looks around for another silver bullet they will not have to search far. Waiting in the wings is another disciple of Key in Nicola Willis. 'Willis is there thinking about her future' a senior MP says. 'She is deeply tactical.' "As I tend to do in July and in most other months I look forward to the next chapter from the National Party. Surf's up—the Te Puke Bypass has been built."