Swain Paul: Adjournment — Sittings of the House 
Swain Paul: Adjournment — Sittings of the House 
[Volume:636;Page:7229] 
Hon PAUL SWAIN (Labour—Rimutaka) 
: 
 This has been a great year for the Government—a great year for the Government! Strong leadership strong team strong policies— 
Hon Tau Henare 
: I seek the leave of the House to table a document entitled:  
Members Asked to Withdraw from the Chamber 
 which states that Rodney has been asked to withdraw from the Chamber four times—the second-highest number of times in Parliament this year. 
Madam SPEAKER 
: I just remind the member that normally the seeking of leave to table documents is taken at the end of speeches so as not to interrupt members. Leave is sought to table that document. Is there any objection? Yes there is objection. Would the member please start his speech again. 
Hon PAUL SWAIN 
: This has been a great year for the Labour-led Government with its strong leadership strong team and strong policies. We talk about policies. That is the difference between us and that lot over there. They never talk about policy. We talk about policies. Here are just a few: interest-free student loans public health organisation roll-out KiwiSaver expanded paid parental leave and rates rebates. Just recently we have seen the draft Energy Strategy and the cheaper faster broadband policy. This is the Labour-led Government and its policies. 
As opposed to that the National Opposition has had a shocking and terrible year. The recent book described National members as “hollow men”. I thought that description was flattering; it should have been “invisible men” as far as this year is concerned. The year started out with Don Brash and ended with John Key. We ended up with the back end of the donkey at the end of 2006. 
Dear old Don Brash he stuttered and stammered his way through the year. Do members remember that he could not quite work out how GST worked? Funny that because he was one of the architects! Well here is a handy little hint: exclusive GST means GST not included. A little memory hint is exclusive GST Exclusive Brethren. It is very very simple when one actually thinks about it and gets the hang of it. So finally Don Brash called it a day and we got John Key as National’s leader. 
One can always recognise John Key around town now. He has the L-plate on the LTD. He is the learner leader who uses trainer wheels as he goes out for a bike ride. The fact is he will have an L-plate on the LTD for quite a while judging by the last few weeks. I have just one thing to say to Mr Key: imitation is the greatest form of flattery. What has he announced in the last 3 weeks or so? He has announced and talked about such things as the inclusive society. Well I wonder who started that little policy. Oh of course it was Labour. Then we had the sudden change in heart on climate change. He said that he has always believed in it. That is not what he said a year or so ago. He now says he will not change the Employment Relations Act. He now does not think that America should have gone into Iraq. He does not believe in the previous National Government’s nuclear policy. He supports civil unions and now thinks that tax should be introduced gradually. I say to the National Party that it should stop pinching Labour’s policies. It is just not right. Why would people have “Labour-lite” when they can have the real thing? That will be the point we make. 
It is a funny thing also that John Key sounds like David Cameron from the British Conservative Party. Funny that! Why does he sound like David Cameron? Because it is David Cameron speaking! John Key is using the same lines as those used by David Cameron. Next year he will stand by his laptop waiting for emails from David Cameron to get him through the next week. He should think of some lines himself and stick to those. It works a lot better. 
And what about the team lined up behind him? Bill English is doing the old “I am supporting the leader to the hilt.” line—yes absolutely! An old law in politics is to never have a deputy leader who wants to be the leader. Bill English of course has not shown loyalty before—not to Jenny Shipley—and he will not show it again. What about Gerry Brownlee? He has slipped from No. 2 to No. 3 which is the political equivalent of being kicked down the stairs actually. He can see himself being kicked all the way down and finally out into the lobby. What about Simon Power—power of the nuclear kind? He was Uncle Sam’s friend. Suddenly the leader says: “No we do not believe in that any more.” So where is he going to end up? Tony Ryall of course is right behind the leader. He is always right behind the leader. He has been bitter since 1999 when the public kicked him out and he is still not over it. 
 What about Nick Smith? How long was he deputy leader? I cannot remember. Was it 2 or 3 days? 
Darren Hughes 
: 3 days. 
Hon PAUL SWAIN 
: So he was deputy leader of the National Party for 3 days. Maurice Williamson—do members remember him? Do they remember that he was going to flog off the roads sell them to the highest bidder? That was a very very popular policy! We are looking forward to seeing that policy resurrected as we go into the next election. 
Then of course there is Judith Collins. What did Bill English say about Judith Collins? In a nutshell he thinks she is hopeless. Well Bill English has got that right. She is hopeless. What did he say about Katherine Rich? He said she has been promoted too fast. He thought John Carter—and I felt he was a bit unfair about my old friend—had been promoted beyond his competence. Bill English said that people in the caucus would never work with Murray McCully in Cabinet. That is absolutely true because we know about old Muzza. The last word of all should go to Jonathan Coleman. Just when one thought it was safe to smoke cigars again this happens! What they did to Bill Clinton’s career they will also do to Jonathan Coleman’s—concussion and a bloody nose all for the sake of a bit of cigar smoke. 
The Labour-led Government is going into the break feeling very very good and very positive. We have done some policies. We have got New Zealand moving. We are doing the things that New Zealanders want the Government to do: showing leadership showing strength of policy and moving forward. 
National members will go into Christmas hoping that Santa will bring them a principle or a philosophy or even a little policy. But we know they will not get one from Santa because they have been bad bad boys. They have been hollow boys. They have been hollow bad boys. They are not going to get one single thing from Santa and all we say is that after Christmas we will not mind sharing our policies just as long as they ask nicely first. That is all we want. 
To all the people who work in the parliamentary precinct to everybody here merry Christmas.