Hague Kevin: Marriage (Definition of Marriage) Amendment Bill — Third ReadingText is incorporated into the Bound VolumeHague Kevin: Marriage (Definition of Marriage) Amendment Bill — Third Reading[Sitting date: 17 April 2013. Volume:689;Page:9492. Text is incorporated into the Bound Volume.]KEVIN HAGUE (Green): It is time. In one of the many messages that I have received on the Marriage (Definition of Marriage) Amendment Bill one man said: “My partner and I have been together for 30 years. It would be great to celebrate our anniversary with a wedding.”I mentioned in the first reading that I have been together with my partner Ian—who is here tonight with my son Thomas—for 28 years now nearly 29 years. And I could not help but reflect on our journey during that time. When we got together our relationship was against the law. The message sent by the law could not have been clearer. We were outsiders. We did not belong. The debate over Fran Wilde’s bill was extremely toxic. A lot of people said a lot of very unpleasant things about us and of course predicted that the bill would spell the end of New Zealand society. I will be eternally grateful to Fran and her colleagues to George Gair for standing up for what was right.I remember travelling to Auckland’s North Shore to protest against one of our opponents Pastor Richard Flinn who called publicly for homosexuals like me to be putto death. Over the years I have campaigned hard for the right of our communities not to be outsiders any more and to assume a full place in New Zealand society. With every new reform the same group uses the same strategy of raising fears of terrible consequences that always fail to materialise.There would be few New Zealanders today who would support re-criminalising sex between men. The cost of being outsiders is enormous. The stigma associated with our “inferior” status is associated with substantially higher rates of suicide depression HIV risk violence and other risks to our health and well-being. One submitter called Vinnie wrote: “If there was greater acceptance when I grew up I would not have tried to kill myself. I potentially would not have missed out on years of a quality relationship with my family. I would not have lost 95 percent of my friends when I told them I was gay.”Another person called Robert said: “I have lived my life partly in private until the last decade or so when acceptance of gay people in our beautiful New Zealand has increased. I have no doubt that the bill will be passed and I am pleased for it to be happening in my lifetime. While I am not in my younger years it will still allow me and my partner to marry and have equal rights. I have longed for this for a very very long time. My only sadness is that both of my parents have now passed and it would have been such a huge joy to have them at my wedding.”Opponents of this bill have been talking about two conflicting ideas of what marriage is about. The idea they have is the conjugal model in which the point of marriage is to enable procreation. They say that we supporters have a partnership model in which marriage is about celebrating and reinforcing the love two people have for each other. They are right. That is what we believe. Sure children are important for some marriages but more than anything else marriage is about affirming reinforcing and celebrating the love that two people have for each other. It is also about joining two families together and recognising the value of that commitment to our whole society.That is why this bill is about so much more than achieving equality under the law which is a basic human right that has been denied us until this day. It is about saying these lives matter. Our society is big enough for us all. With this bill our Parliament stretches out its arms to my communities and says: “Our society is big enough for you too. You belong unequivocally and without having to compromise who you are.”When the debate started I thought that all of the people like Richard Flinn had thankfully gone. The early comments from opponents were refreshingly free of fire and brimstone. There is no doubt that New Zealand has grown up over the past 27 years as we have become a more modern vibrant and pluralistic society. But as the debate has worn on we have seen a re-emergence of a hard core whose opposition to this bill has lost its veneer of reasonableness. Their problem with this bill is that they believe that we gay and lesbian people are morally inferior. They do not want to include us as full participants in New Zealand society. They recognise correctly what full legal equality—this signal—means and they do not like it.That is why we have seen people with placards declaring that gay people are mentally ill and less than human. That is why we have seen Family First’s campaign firstly of fear and misinformation and latterly of standover tactics and blackmail. That is why we have seen the Catholic Action Group just like Richard Flinn writing to all MPs and telling us that homosexuals are worthy of death and then describing in great detail the eternal agony we should expect to experience in hell. They have tried to attract more people to their cause by scaring people with imaginary consequences—people will marry their pets ministers will be thrown in prison and people will not be able to call each other husband and wife any more. Just like every time before those fears will not be realised.The consequences of this bill will be that same-sex couples will marry. Transsexual people will no longer have to divorce. Prejudice and violence will be undermined. The world will be a better place for lesbian gay bisexual and transgender New Zealanders and absolutely no one at all will be any worse off. As Brian Donnelly a great New Zealand First member said: “Your own candle will burn no dimmer if you help to light ours.” That is what has happened in every country—now 12 countries—that has legalised same sex-marriage before us.Here are some words from Alicia another young New Zealander: “Imagine you are me for a second or any other queer teenager in New Zealand or maybe you are a bit younger 15 or so just starting to come to grips with who you are. All around you your family and religious community perhaps even your friends are buzzing with talk about a bill which affects you more than you dare to let on. What they say makes it clear that if they knew who you were what you really are they would not accept you. There is a reason so many of us have considered suicide an acceptable way out at some point and this is it.” She then says: “What your support of this bill has meant is immeasurable. I watched the first reading live and I was in tears by the end of it. For me your support was overwhelming confirmation that I am no less of a person in the eyes of those who lead our country because of my sexuality regardless of what my parents or my church want to say about it. Your support told me and many teenagers like me that no matter what those around us say we will be equal under the law.”History is a funny thing. When all those imaginary risks fail to materialise they will be forgotten entirely. When that fog recedes history will also forget all of the quibbles like saying: “There ‘s a better way to achieve the same thing.” which allow some MPs to vote against this bill whilst still saying they support fair and equal treatment.There is no longer any room for nuance or middle ground. Instead what history will record is whether you voted for inclusiveness equality under the law and pluralism or against them. What it will record is whether you chose to stand with Vinnie Robert and Alicia or instead chose to stand with the Catholic Action Group extremism threats and blackmail. Please be brave tonight so that you can be proud of your vote later. Tonight please stand with me stand with us and stand with justice fairness and love.