Turei Metiria: Adjournment — Sittings of the HouseText is incorporated into the Bound VolumeTurei Metiria: Adjournment — Sittings of the House[Sitting date: 09 December 2015. Volume:710;Page:8719. Text is incorporated into the Bound Volume.]METIRIA TUREI (Co-Leader—Green): To everyone in this House and around this place the Green Party wishes you a very warm and very meri Kirihimete. Our special thanks and warm wishes today go out particularly to all of those who keep this place ticking so that we can do our jobs. Politicians are not the easiest people in the world to work with—Grant Robertson: No!METIRIA TUREI: —apparently—so to those of you who manage the Chamber who cook for us who make our coffee clean our offices deliver our papers keep us safe answer our research questions keep the lights going fix the heating and keep our computers humming—all of you thank you so much for everything that you do for us. We really really appreciate it. Thanks and a special Christmas wish also to our friends in the Opposition. To Andrew Little and his team in particular it has been great working with you all over this last year and I am looking forwardto more of it next year—Clayton Mitchell: And us.METIRIA TUREI: And you too New Zealand First. We love you too. Ha ha! It is true it is true—do not listen to what the media says. But thinking about the media big thanks to the press gallery for a year of sharing your love sometimes—sometimes—but in increasingly constrained circumstances; we know how hard it is to do your jobs.And a very merry Christmas too to the Government. It has been a tough year for youse fullas what with—Hon Member: Oh no it’s been a great year.METIRIA TUREI: —increasing unemployment—oh it is true—45000 more children in poverty the housing crisis skyrocketing and greenhouse gas emissions. But credit where credit is due you have played to your strengths National and it is time now to recognise those strengths. So I am very pleased to announce the Green Party’s inaugural “End of Year Awards”. I know it is exciting. I have the nominations. So here we go.Hon Member: What’s the prize?METIRIA TUREI: We may well give you presents—yeah let us give them presents. My lovely assistant is Gareth Hughes over here.For the “Exxon Mobil Contribution to Oil Drilling Award” the runner-up is Labour for refusing to rule it out—ahem—but the winner goes to Simon Bridges for keeping the oil industry going through his support of its hair products. Great dedication Simon—slick as bro. He can get some chocolates—give them to Gerry. The “He Wears His Underpants on the Outside Public Defender Award” sponsored by Marvel Comics goes to Michael Woodhouse for revealing to New Zealand the grave dangers of worm farms. Michael has got our backs—we are safe under his watch.The “Land Transport Association Award for the Most Creative U-turn It Turns Out”—so the runner-up is Labour for simultaneous U-turns on capital gains tax and superannuation. But the winner is the Green Party—that is right the Green Party—for ruling out then ruling in then ruling out the booze bill. I want my gift. Thank you I am so proud. I want to thank my producers: mum and dad you are awesome.The award for the “Most Dedicated Backbencher Politician”—this was hard fought for this one I can tell you. The runner-up is Paul Foster-Bell for his passionate visual adoration during the Prime Minister’s speeches—puppy-dog—but the winner goes to Mike Hosking for his selfless support for his dear leader and the creative use of public broadcasting.Ron Mark: Oh we’re liking you.METIRIA TUREI: Ha ha! The “Lump of Coal Special Christmas Award” sponsored by Charles Dickens is jointly awarded to John Key and Peter Dunne for voting against feeding the kids in schools. Clearly the answer to the question “Please sir can I have some more?” is: “No you cannot have any more.” The “New Zealand Men’s Rights Association Award for the Protection of Traditional Values”—the runner-up is John Key for having the guts to say out loud that Cabinet is dominated by middle-aged white men because he appoints on the basis of merit. Ladies smarten up!But the winner goes to Louise Upston the first women’s affairs Minister brave enough to define feminism as bad and beauty contests as good. Well done Louise! But the “Chocolate Prize” is going to go to Poto Williams for her amazing support for the walkout over the rapists comments. Awesome—chocolate well-deserved. The “Hairstylists Association of New Zealand International Hair Ambassador of 2015 Award”—who do you think might win this? Runners-up are Peter Dunne and Simon Bridges for effort—good effort guys—but the winner by a landslide is John Key for putting New Zealand and ponytails on the world stage for all the wrong reasons. Well done you guys.Not quite finally the “Foot in Mouth Award” sponsored by the Ministry for Primary Industries for most regrettable statement—the winner is Judith Collins: “I’m confident that Serco will bring the high standards of professionalism safety rehabilitation and security expected by the Government to Mt Eden prison.” Well was she not right? The Government did expect that. That is exactly what it got. But the gift of chocolate goes to Kelvin Davis given today’s breaking news. That was a scalp worth fighting for.The final award for tonight is the “Plunket Karitane Award” for healthy development and meeting all growth milestones and that goes to my very own co-leader James Shaw for well just being a good all-round boy.Thank you very much to all of you who nominated and who made suggestions for our awards. I am sure we are all very pleased with the winners. Thank you very much for all your work Mr Speaker for the work of all the staff who are here and to all the Green Party staff and volunteers for all of your energy over this last year. We give thanks for all of the efforts that everyone makes to make this a great democracy and I hope that you have a very safe and very happy Christmas break. Kia ora koutou katoa.