Jones Shane; Ball Darroch; Mallard Trevor; King MattHon SHANE JONES (Minister for Regional Economic Development): Tēnā koe Mr Speaker. Something very contradictory is happening on the other side of the House. At one level we have this narrative of fabrication coming out from the leader of the other side of the House—cruel unkind inaccurate attacking my good self as the provincial champion as the purveyor of stores of goodwill financial succour to the provinces that have been neglected downtrodden and taken for granted for so long. But what the leader of the other side of the House doesn't know is that his own members have taken to whispering sweet nothings in my ear.Now I have to say it's not for me to be too extravagant in language—it would be unbecoming—but I have to share with you that some of these remarks are alarmingly flirtatious. Of course I have received a letter from Dr Nick Smith and I can assure the House there is nothing enchanting about that letter. The notion that that person could be an enchantress would be a type of sorcery and it would remind me of that great line out of—which my leader knows—Macbeth where if I'm not mistaken I see a face before me which is a combination of Eye of newt and toe of frog Wool of bat and tongue of dog". But I don't want to continue because the man asks for assistance—asks for assistance—to advance the interests of the airport of Nelson.Now being a great champion of the regions and the provinces and having enjoyed a certain passing acquaintance with the fishing industry from time to time and being known to contribute to political fortunes which I've been condemned to reveal I would say don't threaten that I'm going to bust you through the Overseas Investment Office (OIO) process and at the end of your letter in a whimpering limp-wristed fashion say "By the way is there anything that I can do to help the two airports in my electorate as Murray McCully and John Carter"—two Northlanders with slightly redeeming qualities about them not the least of which is the latter saw great virtue in my good self taking a trip for three years into the Tropics but that's another matter.Mr Smith tell your leader that you along with your colleagues—and I accept that they should do that—are quietly approaching the provincial champion to back your regions. Just be up front.Now I need to continue because in South Otago and in Southland where the frugal South met the feckless North in my good self they have threatened to erect a bust of my good self—suitable physical proportions. I because of modesty and the quiet way in which I was brought up have to date turned them down but I can make a promise to Murihiku—I can make a promise to the South—no more the provinces sending quiet useless lapdog right-wing politicians to the House never once standing up for their regions and for their provinces constantly banking their boat and never delivering anything for their area.Now of course that requires me to acknowledge in the House Mr Matt King who is I'm told a farmer. From time to time I've been known to drive past the property that he calls a farm. Now it's not for me to talk about a neighbour but sir do not for a moment think that the nest you currently occupy is yours permanently. That's the first thing. The second thing: get some lessons from Mr John Carter get some lessons from Mr Murray McCully and you will see that the North has been taken for granted for far too long. And had it not been for those two ex-politicians standing up and advocating for the North—why did they advocate? Because they knew in the case of my good self they were pushing on an open door not waiting for an obscure backbencher to deliver something that unfortunately is physically impossible politically impossible and soon to enter the annals of haere rā.The North realises that it missed a brilliant opportunity by sending Mr King to Parliament. But wait—wait. Mr "Matua Shane" Jones provincial champion and one of the most modest parliamentarians to grace this House and this Chamber is on his way. Kia ora tātou.DARROCH BALL (Junior Whip—NZ First): I raise a point of order Mr Speaker. I just didn't want to interrupt the previous member from speaking. But Matt King did a very unparliamentary hand gesture and I would like him to withdraw and apologise.SPEAKER: Did the member do an inappropriate unparliamentary hand gesture?MATT KING (National—Northland): I withdraw and apologise."