Personal Explanations — Member of Parliament—ResignationText is incorporated into the Bound VolumePersonal Explanations — Member of Parliament—Resignation[Sitting date: 14 May 2013. Volume:690;Page:9841. Text is incorporated into the Bound Volume.]Personal ExplanationsMember of Parliament—ResignationAARON GILMORE (National):I seek the leave of the House to make a personal explanation under Standing Order 354 in respect of my role as a member of Parliament and issues that have been raised in recent days. In relation to this statement I would like to talk for about 4 or 5 minutes in lieu of making any further valedictory speech.Mr SPEAKER: Leave is sought for that personal explanation. Is there any objection? There is none. The member may proceed.AARON GILMORE: Mr Speaker I have tendered my resignation to the Prime Minister as a member of the National Party caucus and to you as a member of Parliament. I have done so because I have made errors of judgment as a member of Parliament. Those errors are causing an unnecessary distraction for the Government. This is causing immense stress to me and to members of my family and in the light of constant media scrutiny into my life I am unable to continue to function properly as an MP. It has already been widely canvassed through the media just what some of those incidents have been. I behaved rudely to bar staff at the Heritage Hanmer Springs hotel. I behaved badly on that night. I have never wanted things to get to this point. I cannot offer any excuses for that conduct or for the poor management subsequently.Over the past 2 weeks I have gone through the five stages of grief and I have come to terms with resignation denial anger bargaining depression and acceptance. The stages have not always been in that order and changed hour by hour. At times my anger has been such that I have contemplated utu against my enemies. It is fair to say that I have said and done many stupid things in my life and if I were to stand here and list all of them and try to talk my way out of them then we might not have time to pass next year’s Budget let alone this one. Although some of the things said about me I have found to be deeply hurtful and untrue I accept this is one of the consequences of holding public office. I also accept as other politicians from across the spectrum have found over the years that when you are caught in a media storm of your own making the only honourable thing to do is to step out of politics and attempt to rebuild a private life.The stress of dealing with a media frenzy as I have over the past 2 weeks is enough to drive anybody out of public office. I am not seeking sympathy with that statement but I would like to put it on the record of the House just how grateful I am to friends in this House who have expressed support for me personally. I have had close to a thousand calls messages and emails in recent days. I have had the media chase me my family friends and loved ones across the country but I have never committed any crimes. They do not deserve that treatment and I am ultimately responsible for the effects that my political career has had on them. For that I am truly most sorry.I wish to thank the Prime Minister and the National Party as a whole for providing such strong leadership in challenging times. I was first elected to Parliament almost 5 years ago but more important I value the dignity of my party the leadership of John Key and those here who have worked hard to have a John Key Government. I have learnt plenty and through my time here have many to thank. I have been through thousands of earthquakes and helped as many people as I possibly could along the way. I am disappointed I will not be able to continue as a member of Parliament but I do hope to help in a more modest way at some time in the future.I also wish to thank my family and friends for their generosity and support since I was first elected to Parliament. The last couple of weeks have been particularly hard for them and I am eternally grateful for their support in helping me in such trying times. I apologise to them just as I do to the Prime Minister my colleagues and supporters in the National Party and this House as a whole for my misjudgments. I will continue to be supportive of the Prime Minister the National Government and the National Party from outside Parliament in the limited capacity of a private citizen.Now that I have the opportunity to lay it out on the record of this House it would not dignify this House or me to use unseemly words against others in my final speech here. I know I have angered many people and if I am going to seek their forgiveness I must be prepared to forgive unkind words about me. To those in the media who predicted I would dig in my heels and hang on to Parliament as long as I could—and although many of my friends wished me to stay in this House and fight these issues—today I am not surrendering; I am retreating. I am sorry I did not meet your expectations. For those of you who tried to goad me into seeking retribution in this House today I too seek your forgiveness.When I finish packing up my office and saying my farewells to this House I intend to take time out with my family and friends. I do not expect to be making any public statements for some time. I ask the media to respect my privacy and that of my family.When I gave my maiden speech I quoted George Patton’s words: “Lead follow or get out of the way for those who will.” Well today I am choosing to get out of the way. I am looking for something new to do.Finally to the one I love: babe I am coming home.