Bishop ChrisHon CHRIS BISHOP (National—Hutt South): Some have likened being in Opposition to being lost at sea without a safe harbour. Well Carmel Sepuloni in the Labour Party has found one: a lucky special place known as Treasure Island. She's washed ashore off a rickety old listing ship formerly known as the good ship Labour. One would be forgiven for asking what is going on. Carmel Sepuloni has been invited on to Treasure Island. Willie Jackson of all people has been invited to speak at the Oxford Union. It's a real problem for Chris Hipkins as he struggles to get an invite to his own caucus meetings these days.Now I have never seen Treasure Island but I did a bit of Wikipedia-ing I am told that contestants are split into competing tribes taking part in various challenges. Now the Labour Party is well known for its tribes. Back in the 1980s we had the Fish and Chip Brigade". In the 2010s we had the "ABC Club"—"anyone but Cunliffe". And this venerable tradition continues. These days we have the "Piketty Pirates"—David Parker's crew of merry men following the edicts of Thomas Piketty: David Parker Arena Williams Phil Twyford Helen White: the "Piketty Pirates". They're off there inside the Labour Party fomenting happy mischief trying to get a wealth tax or a capital gains tax and/or all of the above. They're loving it and they're working away with Michael Wood on the policy council—I'll come back to Michael Wood later on. That's faction number one.And then we've got the "Hapless Hipkins" faction. That's sort of the other people left right out who are backing the current leader of the Labour Party. And then of course we've got the people who are considering walking the plank. They're just considering leaving. They're considering abandoning ship. Megan Woods off to be the next Mayor of Christchurch I'm told. Adrian Rurawhe he's considering it. Greg O'Connor and Jenny Salesa—people who are considering abandoning the good ship Labour.Of course there's one thing we can all agree on and that all of the Labour Party agrees: when the tribal council meets also known as the caucus meeting there's one person who's never invited and that's Ginny Andersen.Now I've also discovered that in this most recent season of Treasure Island they did a special thing the first time in the game's history. This is real. They introduced a thing on this this year's season called "The Captain's Coup" in which the day's winning team gets to pick a member from the losing team to go up against their captain. Now I can see why Carmel jumped at the chance. What better form of professional development could there be for a senior Labour Party MP than spending weeks deserted on an island while everyone around you is trying to bring you down and participate in a captain's coup.Kieran McAnulty's been there biding his time slowly and quietly which is why he's asked only two oral questions in the last six months. Now Michael Wood would have been there ready and waiting but the current captain Chris Hipkins got there first eliminating him from the island. What a savvy thing to do because we shouldn't rule out a comeback for Mr Michael Wood. He's been elected to the illustrious body of the Labour Party policy council. Chris Hipkins the policy council has spoken. Extinguish your torch and leave the island.Now there could be an intruder that gets flown into the island. This often happens in these reality TV shows. Craig Rennie was running around on the weekend waving signs fresh from his job of being the impartial academic commentator fresh from Grant Robertson's office. Fresh from that task he's running around. Maybe he wants to take on the captain as well.Now I've also discovered that in season three—and we're yet to find out if the next season will have this but in season three two contestants were handcuffed together for 24 hours. David Parker from the Piketty team would have wanted that as an option last year when Chris Hipkins tried to lump a wealth tax on New Zealanders. It is anyone's guess as to how this season's going to go. But the one thing we know is that the Labour Party the good ship Labour is in dire straits and that's why people voted for a good ship led by a great captain—Christopher Luxon—to take New Zealand through these troubled broiling seas of the future."