dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
There are 2 schools of thought provided for this prompt and yetonly one is reflected in the restatement. The essay provides an incomplete revieeu of the original prompt. Both points of view must be provided in order to give merit to the writers stated opinion.  
  
As this is not presented as a comparative discussion originally, the presentation of the writer discussion must be selective by design. Using a single supported opinion based on an agreement or disagreement with the statement, prove the writer's selected opinion to be true. This must be done via 2 related reasons that can support a connected paragraph discussion. The lack of the "compare and discuss" writing instruction invalidates the current writing approach to the question.
## Some people work for the same organization all their working life

  
  
Choosing the correct career path in all one's working life also remains a controversy. While it is believed that working for only an organization is the fundamental choice, some people suppose that doing for varying ones is much better than the former. From my perspective, I would argue that it is better to work for different corporations beyond similar ones.  
  
On the one hand, there is clear evidence for people to support the view that working with the same organization in one's whole working life is justifiable. First and foremost, it is a well-known fact that long-term employees are accustomed to their enterprises for an extended period of time. Accordingly, they will have a profound understanding of how it operates. If staff do their job for a long time, they will become more proficient at work as well as enjoy a wide range of perks such as better promotion and incentives. Secondly, there is no disputing that there would be many chances for employees' recognition and greater job security. Employers, for instance, who always dismiss short-term staff, value royalty and ensure positions of long-term ones.  
  
On the other hand, there are obvious perks that could be witnessed from the fact that proponents of job-hopping can point out some potential merits of individuals' independence and varying skills. To start with, it is commonly believed that job hoppers will become more independent as they also try their hand at different jobs. In other words, they not only collaborate effectively with more colleagues but also adapt to various work environments. This is one of the fundamental foundations to help employees become more flexible and stand by themselves as well. Last but not least, another point that should be taken into consideration is that employees can acquire a variety of skills to become more versatile. Executives, who work in different fields, also have job opportunities with a lucrative income, as a typical example.  
  
In conclusion, for the reasons mentioned above, it seems to me that working for different organizations is more likely to be successful than working for the same ones.
Donot turn the discussion intea controversy. That statement is unnecessary as the writer is altering the original statement presentation. The second sentence lacks subject clarity as the reference to the choices provided was not indicated. The personal opinion provided is not grammatically correct, but manages to get its message across, as is important in that sentence. The addition of a personal reason would have further helped the statement.  
  
The writer provided good justifications for their public opinions. General discussion references kept the - point of view clear to the reader. All that was lacking in the presentation was the expanded personal opinion discussion. A requirement of the prompt that would have ensured the highest possible score for this essay.  
  
While there is a reference to a personal opinion in the concluding paragraph, it really required a stand alone paragraph for score enhancing discussion detail. That is the best presentation format for this type of essay.
## Accompanying my younger sister

  
  
My sister who is 12 years younger than me told her annoyances to me before sleep on this Monday night.Those annoyances were about interpersonal relationship,familyship and pressure from schoolwork. I just realized she was already a teenager, As her older sister, I was glad that she plucked up the courage to tell me her thoughts. Accompanying her to face those annoyances by open mind is meaningful to me.
This essay is meant to be a deep reflection of your relationship with your sister. If should cover at least 2 simple paragraphs. other fiust paragraph should set the stage for why your sister decided to open up to you and how you responded to it. Develop the reasons why her openness made you happy.  
  
The second paragraph should relate to how your relationship was prior to this event. Then explain hour you felt after the talk. How did the relationship change for the better and why this gave you joy. Expand on the realization that the child is now a teenager and why that made you happy and what it means to you.  
  
The essay is off to a good start but is boring to read because of the direct writing approach. If allowed, be creative. Setup the scene, add dialogue and action, given things up in the presentation.
**I am to take an exam in next August, so I am so snowed under a lot of tasks. I hope that everyone will point out my mistake and give me a precise score. Thanks a bunch in advance.**  
  
Write about the following topic:  
  
***Computers are often argued to be the most important invention of the last hundred years.***  
## To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

  
  
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.  
Write at least 250 words.  
  
It is sometimes discussed that not any other inventions are indispensable than computers over the last centuries. While I concur with this assertment owing to their popularity and convenience, I also doubt whether other innovations seem to overtake them.  
  
There are two reasons why computers are the most essential to all people in modern life. Firstly, computers are all-round tools which could aid in every aspect of our life. To widely spread urgent information with a rapid speed, laptops enable people to update and circulate these data for everyone throughout the world by just a click. Secondly, it is computers that facilitate humans working from home, especially in the pandemic Covid-19. With the help of a laptop, home-based entrepreneurs easily run their businesse, and employees find it convenient to track potential clients through the screen. Therefore, there is no question of suspecting that computers are considered as the most imperative inventions throughout the last centuries.  
  
On the other hand, there are also a multitude of products as vital as computers to ameliorate the quality of life. To make it crystal clear, cellphones are highly likely to produce fruitful outcomes. Diverse professions, such as journalism and communication, demand to provide updated data with a view to satisfying the public's needs, so mobile phones could fulfil various function due to their portability and accessibility. Accordingly, there still remains a host of creations that appear to be crucial to human beings.  
  
In conclusion, computers are regarded as the most instrumental in operating various work over the last centuries. However, I still believe that more and more creations could surpass computers.  
  
(267 words)
Let's be clear, a reference to the "last century" means the most recent 100 years (20th century). The reference point to time in the interpretation " centuries " does not carry the same time span indicator. The reference went from clear (last century), to vague ( last centuries). The question provided was not answered in the thesis sentence either. There is no extent reference indicated because the writer changed the prompt question in the response. It is clear that the writer is unfamiliar with the required response style and cannot receive a passing TA score due to a lack of English comprehension skills in relation to the original discussion question.  
  
The discussion paragraphs fail to relate themselves to the extent question as well as there is no real one sided o response in the presentation. The essay meets the word requirement at this point. That said, the essay fails to meet the discussion requirements and as such, cannot recieve a passing score.
***TOPIC: Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this.***  
  
## Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

  
  
Children's education has always been valued by society. Some people believe that parents have the responsibility to teach their children to be good members of society. However, others consider that influence of schooling education children is more important than that of home education. I will discuss both statements and give my opinions in the following paragraphs.  
  
Looking at the statement of the home education, the supporters are positive that home is the place influence children's value which will play a big part of their life. When newborn babies come to the world, parents would become their first teachers. Babies almost share all day long with their parents, such as learning from how to walk to how to speak. Not to mention the value and life-skills they will inherit from parents, like communication and interaction skills. For example, Hoa Chen, my grand-grandma, was a woman who did not go to school even one day but she had a good family education. During World War II, seven innocents were helped by her and escaped successfully from the Laogai, which means reform through labor. She also donated uncounted money to the disabled caused by war after war. It shows how home value influences children and made them useful members of society.  
  
According to the supporters' statement of school education, children can efficiently become helpful members by the cultivation of school education. School is generally an institute that provides academic knowledge and professional tutors. It means that children will be cultivated here with expert knowledge. Whenever children become professionals, they will have the ability to resolve society's problems.  
  
I assume that home education is much more important than school education. Imaging children as a bee, home education is the living instinct, and school education is the wings. Instinct tells a bee how to live, and the wings give a bee the way to realize its dreams. After all, determine the bee behaviors is not by the wings but by instincts. The instinct to be, just like the home teaching to children.
Proper vocabulary usage is of the utmost importance in these essays. Word references help to bring clarity to the discussion paragraph incorrect references to early childhood education such as new-borns and babies create confusion because, unlike adolescents and teenagers, the former are still too young to learn. They do not require parent or teacher mentors yet.  
  
It is common for Chinese to focus on proverbs or animal lessons/comparisons when explaining a point. While that is normally acceptable and enjoyable to read, the bee analogy in this presentation is difficult to follow. A more straightfoward explanation would have worked better. The vocabulary knowledge of the writer did not create coherent and cohesive explanations most of the time in the bee themed paragraph.  
  
The main issues here are vocabulary usage and thought clarity. More sentence writing excercises, not necessarily essay writing, can help with this skill improvement. The lack of the proper concluding paraphrase will also contribute to the low score of this essay. The discussion presentation is incomplete when compared to the discussion format requirements.
***It is now possible for scientists and tourists to travel to remote natural environments, such as the South pole.***  
## Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

  
  
Thanks to the advent of technology, researchers and travelers are now more easily able to visit remote areas such as the South Pole. In my opinion, this new kind of traveling has its own merits and demerits.  
  
On the one hand, I agree that explorers and visitors could detect the problems in remote environments quicker when they go on holidays to these places. For example, the ice melting and the broken iceberg at two poles, which are considered serious consequences of climate change, may be found and used timely some remedial measures. Thus, the appearance of human beings can bring a certain benefit to their natural surroundings.  
  
On the other hand, besides the advantage, some areas like the South Pole might be destroyed by experts and tourists. This is because when these people come, the remote home ground could become attractive travel destinations with many kinds of entertainment complexes and are likely devastated by human activities. For instance, a barbecue outdoor party and a campfire can emit carbon dioxide which harms directly the environment or the leavings people throw could lead to environmental pollution.  
  
To conclude, while the visiting of scientists and travelers has some virtues, I believe that these benefits might not surpass the drawbacks that may happen.
This 209 word essay starts at a scoring disadvantage for not meeting the 250 minimum word count. The percentage deductions, added to the scoring error problems could very well produced a failing score. Write at least 250 words so that you don't start the scoring process at the failing mark.  
  
The prompt restatement is still close enough to the original to be considered cut and paste. The original word elements were retained, proving a limited English vocabulary. The thesis statement does not respond to the question either, making the essay fail further as there is no clear s based on a single point of view. The discussion format is different from the required format.  
  
The first reasoning paragraph has portions of clarity in the explanation but, suffers in trample development. That part lacks in proper thought presentation as it confuses the reader. The point of the example should be better explained for it to help increase the score for that paragraph. It has potential in terms of reason. so it has to have a better discussion presentation. Either it has sole advantages or not. There is no halfway point since this isn't a 2 opinion comparative discussion essay. other writing should be disproving 2 advantages as actual disadvantages. It should not deliver one advantage and disadvantage paragraph.  
  
The concluding paragraph should have been the thesis sentence. It is not helpful as a concluding statement since it does not properly summarize the discussion presented.  
  
It is unfortunate that the student did not work hard enough on presenting the essay scoring requirements. The essay shows the exam taker has the potential to pass the test. If the writer properly applies himself to the work.
## expenditure proportion in different countries

  
  
The chart compares the percentage of the total cost for 5 fields in a specific European country over a period of 40 years  
  
Overall, the total expenditure on five sectors increased from 1960 to 2000. In particular, the amount of money for transport rose, while the proportion for food, leisure, clothing, and fuel/energy fell in the whole period of the country  
  
In 1960, the proportion of expenditure on food was highest which accounted for approximately 35%. Around 18% of the money was spent on leisure, but only about 6% on fuel/energy. The figures for clothing and transport was nearly the same, at around one half of that amount of leisure  
  
The biggest change was seen in the proportion of food, which fell steadily over the 40-year period to 15% in 2000. In contrast, the proportion of expenditure on transport rose, reaching nearly 15%, which make the sector be the highest in 2000. The cost for both clothing and fuel/energy decreased slightly, at about 5% and 3% perspectively. Similarly, there was also a drop in the figure for leisure by 10%  
  
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An outline of the 5 represented sectors is a base requirement, along with a proper / complete image identification is a must in the summary overview. This paragraph should contain at least 3 sentences of information highlights from the task. This element is severely lacking in your presentation paragraph. Trust me, the complete presentation matters when considering your work. Had you combined your trending statement with the summary overview, you would have easily met this requirement. As it is, the single sentence does not represent a significant aspect of the summary.  
  
A complete analysis looks for and includes a reference to equal or overlapping data. There in always one reference to that in each image. Here, you failed to analyze the assumed 14% equality in transport and leisure in 1990. An assumption of eqquality statement or analysis is missing from your report.
Hi @stella nguyen  
  
... on five sectors **increased** decreased (?) from 1960 to 2000. ... money for transport**ation** rose, while the proportion ... good job on summarizing the trends of each field.  
  
... of expenditure on **food** was highest ...  
... spent on **leisure**, but only about 6% on **fuel/energy**. The figures for **clothing** and **transport** was nearly the same...  
  
The biggest change ...  
  
=> you can write 3 paragraphs. In the third paragraph, you can compare the numbers in the y-axis (which you have done). Try to combine lines with the same trend as this will help you to write with a better flow.  
  
*Comment: I recommend you post the description of the graph so I can check how well you paraphrase it. Good luck! :)  
P/s: Ignore the black bold, I just bolded them to follow your idea.*
## allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters

  
  
Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.  
  
Educating children is definitely no longer easy for adults. It is also a controversial issue in the contemporary life. It is commonly believed that children should be the person haing opportunity to make own decisions for daily matters. In other hand, many people argue that making own choices for such things can lead children to bad characteristic.  
  
First and foremost, parents can show their trustworthy to their kids by permitting them making own choices. More to the point , children who are educated to decide such thing by themselves probably become mature than others. They can develop their self-confidence and have good strength to deal with circumstances. As they have their own decisions, they certainly have their favorite things and also become responsible for their action. Beside that, children freedomly do whatever they want.  
  
Contrasting to the aforementioned, this may lead to other consequence. Bad characteristic may be able to form such as bossy and they would think their options are certainly correct with no doubt.Some kids only make choices that only bring benfits for themselves. Moreover, they are no longer consider other people options. This may be a bad behavior among other individuals.  
  
In my perspective, parents should alow children to make their own choices due to bunches of benefits would be brought for them. However, adults also responsibly choose a right path to guide their children and prevent them from bad behaviors .  
  
In conclusion this issue may have its own positive and negative effect. Parents and teachers should consider the best solution for educating kids as well as give them opportunity to learn social skill and lesson for themselves.
Vocabulary usage shows a lack of proofreading in the first paragraph. Simple editing should have shown that there isno such word as "haing" in the English language. clearly the writer chose to not give attention to the proper word usage in this essay based on scoring guidelines. There is also a lack of opinion statement as required by the prompt. There is a lack of proper response formatting in the presentation that affects its overall preliminary scoring outcome.  
  
The discussion about character is an invalid discussion point that will be ignored in the scoring process. Review the second topic requirement shows that the second discussion should cover the subjecf regarding the importance of allowing children to make decisions regarding situations affecting them. No part of the essay considers the character of the child in relation to the topic. Just discussions regarding the pros and cons of allowing children to make decisions. The character topic is a change of discussion that will affect the task accuracy of the discussion negatively.  
  
The personal opinion does not cite an actual supported discussion. Neither side is properly explained in that paragraph. This essay does not properly meet required writing instructions.
## the most significant trait of an educator

  
  
Hi, here is a CBEST essay practice!  
  
***Some educators believe that the most important trait a teacher can have is self-acceptance. It allows the teacher to better relate to his or her students, to better deal with student problems, and to better provide a positive and constructive role model.  
  
Present your arguments in agreement with this statement, or, if you disagree, present your viewpoints as to what you believe is the most important quality for a teacher to have.***  
  
A good teacher is supposed to have various qualities. Some educators believe that self-acceptance is the most significant trait for a teacher because it allows them to have better relationships with their students, to solve students' problems better, and to enable them a great role model. I totally agree with this statement and this essay will illustrate it more detailedly below.  
  
To begin with, a teacher who is self-acceptant can relate to their students better. Self-acceptance lets people themselves fully accept both their positive and negative qualities and understand the value of themselves. So, a self-acceptant teacher can see students' strengths and weaknesses better. Students will be less defined simply as good or bad. For instance, a teacher will recognize a student as a friendly and helpful one although the study is not perfect. Therefore, these teachers are able to accept more appreciation from their students.  
  
Secondly, a teacher who accepts themselves will also deal with students' issues better. Normally, self-acceptant teachers will have a tendency of possessing more empathies because accepting their own weaknesses enables them to understand that no one is perfect. Therefore, the first thing when these teachers do when they see students' problems and mistakes is trying to help out instead of blaming and being irritated.  
  
Thirdly, self-acceptance allows teachers to become positive and constructive role models. Teachers who fully understand and accept who they naturally convey positive energy to students around. The energy encourages them to never give up, to accept themselves, to be thankful for what they have, and so on, which illustrates that students can become better people under the influence of teachers who have self-acceptance.  
  
To conclude, this essay agrees that self-acceptance is the most important trait for a teacher to have.