dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
## people like to exercise

  
  
Nowadays more and more people like to play sports. Some people like to go jogging, play basketball as well as go to a gym and so on. There are some reasons why people like to exercise. First of all, exercising is healthy. You must have heard somebody saying that you have to exercise more than thirty minutes and even more than three times in a week. I think this saying is right. When I was a little girl, I often had a fever. Therefore, my mother told me to join the school volleyball team to make me stronger. When I began to play volleyball, I seldom got sick. Also, I was stronger than most of the children. Secondly, if you are stressful, you can play sports. It can help you release most of the stress and make you calm down. For example, when my sister was preparing the big exam, she was so nervous that she got a stomachache. She began to jog every night and then she felt better after exercising. Last but not least, sports can make you keep in good shape. Now, because we eat lots of junk food, more and more people are getting fatter. Then, we have to exercise to lose weight. Even many people will go to the gym for training the beautiful muscle. I have a friend who was a fat boy and hated to play sports. One time, he wanted to make a friend with a cute girl. That girl refused him and told him that he was ugly because he was too fat. She didn't want to have a fat friend. According to this experience, my friend made the decision to lose weight. After one year, he lost his weight, becoming a handsome guy and made many friends. Above all, I think playing sports is important to us. We have to exercise to become healthier, release your stress and keep in a good shape.
**Divide your composition into separate paragraphs to follow the general rules and conventions of writing.**  
  
**I recommend that you try to evade the usage of informal language.** Doing this can enhance the overall quality of your essay because it will enable you to have more grammatically correct composition.  
  
Let's take a look at your first few sentences.  
I can revise these as:  
*There is an increasing trend of the number of people who prefer playing sports. We have individuals who enjoy jogging, playing basketball, or simply going to the gym. The essay will expound on the reasons why people like exercising.*  
  
Notice how I had changed more and more into increasing; I had also changed nowadays into mentioning that it is an increasing trend. Doing subtle changes such as this can drastically improve your essay because it paves way for the fluidity of the language to come through. Try to mimic this technique throughout the essay.  
  
**When you make bold statements in your essay, always make sure that you try to briefly support it with additional details.** Even just small details can help. For instance, when you mention that we have an increasing appetite for junk food, you can give a sentence or two that expounds this before proceeding to your next sentences. This is essential, especially if you aim to have a structured formatting to your essay.  
  
Apart from these things, I think that mentioning a couple of stories was a good call for this particular essay. I would only suggest that you try to tone down your tone, keep everything as formal as possible, and watch out for grammatical mishaps that can disrupt your essay's flow.  
  
Best of luck.
## opinions about teachers

  
  
Teachers play an important role in the development of their society. Nowadays teaching is a basic foundation for a good society. Some people believe that teachers were appreciated by society in the past, others disagree. In my opinion, the teachers are more respectful than the past by people and community; it is important for two main reasons.  
  
First of all, today's parent pays more attention to their children's education as a result of that society is developed in comparison to the past. Teachers play an important role in the future of children so society and people are about the teachers more and more every day if the people and community don't respect to the teachers, they will not able to do their responsibility good and the teachers can't provide a good opportunity to students to improve their ability.  
  
Secondly, as the population is growing and the cities are crowded, it is needed to pay attention to breed good teachers because success teacher has a significant effect on the future of students so this student can be more creative and successes. It seems the teachers have low salary today and in the past, they have high rate salary and they experience had a better quality of life. the students spend most of their time on the classes with their teacher so the students valued them. For instance, the student gives some gifts to their teachers.  
  
In conclusion, I strongly agree with this statement that the teachers are respected today as the past even more. It is important to care about the teachers all of the time, however, the people pay attention to the teachers nowadays because the futures of their children are very important for them. The society are developed nowadays and technology is improving so it is necessary to care more about the teachers as a result of that the student can be more creative. the government and the people pay attention to the teachers because it is important for the level of their society. That's why the teacher is respected todays more than the past.
I like your composition. The simplicity of your language wonderfully plays out; it enables the readers to have a better grasp of what your thoughts are. Keep it up. I do have a couple of recommendations regarding content that you may apply if you see fit.  
  
**I would evade using language (or words/phrases) that is informal.** Although this is not necessarily a horrendous idea considering that it can help tone down your essay's structure, I would still suggest that you try to be as strict as possible when it comes to the development of your language.  
  
Let's take a look at your second paragraph.  
  
I can revise the second sentence as:  
*Teachers play vital roles in the future of children. This is accompanied by the increasing attention given to the educational sectors. This, in turn, has also caused parents to develop a deep sense of respect for teachers. If these educators are irresponsible in their field, students won't optimize their potential skills.*  
  
Notice how I had played around with language and composition. Doing this can help your essay become more creative when it comes to finding a direction. Doing this can also improve your essay's direction when it comes to reaching a particular conclusion every time you end your paragraph.  
  
**A general exercise that I give out is to read out your essay out loud.** Be as unbiased as you possibly can be. If you still have questions regarding the content, then it warrants that you should revise your essay's substance.  
  
I would recommend applying these comments throughout your essay.  
  
**I also recommend to be clearer in your utterances in your concluding remarks.** There was no mention of the impact of technological changes to the educational viewpoint of parents and teachers anywhere else in the essay other than here. When you're providing conclusion, it should encompass and provide a briefing of details that you have already tackled. Doing this can help your essay develop more in-depth content.  
  
Best of luck.
## Woodward University Map

  
  
The given maps illustrates how campus of Woodwards University changed from 1985 to today.  
  
Over the time period, the settlement underwent considerable changes.Main road was removed completely, whereas new facilities were added and constructed.  
  
Car park to the south of the library was demolished and replaced with shuttle bus terminal.Road that connected to utilities such as admin building, biology and chemistry blocks was knocked down and more branched footpaths were developed.Apart from a road in 1985, there was not any footpaths that establish a conection among buildings but as of today foothpath are available and connects buildings inside the campus.Also, a new IT center were introduced inside the Lİbrary Building and border of Library building was expanded.  
  
Additionally, life science departments and car park to the east of library totally were demolished, instead lecture theatre and science laboratories were built.Finally, Admin build where located to the southeast of library in 1985 was relocated to the south of lecture theater today.  
  
Please rate my writing and any positive and negative feedbacks are appreciated.Thank you!  
  
*
**I would omit lines that you do not necessarily need.** Let's take your first sentence as an example. In here, you could simply remove the to today at the end of your essay. What you could also do is revise and change your phrasing to create a formal tone in your essay.  
  
For instance, I would revise this line also as:  
*The given map provides a comparative overview of Woodwards University's campus between 1985 and today.*  
  
Notice how instead of mentioning that the map illustrates a change, I had simply mentioned that the map is a comparative one. This can already elucidate that it projects two images that should be taken side-by-side.  
  
Your second paragraph is sufficient. I do not recommend touching this portion.  
  
As for your third paragraph, I recommend that you try to be clearer with your language. Don't be afraid of constructing new sentences that are simpler. This can help your essay appear more put-together.  
  
The construction of the language is quite off-putting and confusing. I would suggest implementing a single structure or format for all your sentences to make sure that you have a more concise setting for your essay to have a flow to it.  
  
What you could do is perhaps something similar to this:  
*In [date], the [area 1] was demolished to pave way for [area 2 that replaced area 1].*  
  
You can move around the phrasing and words to have more freedom and flexibility with your essay. While I usually frown on repetitive language because it should be evaded in substantive essays, descriptive essays like this that should have more specific information are encouraged to have more structure.  
  
Best of luck.
## full access to private information of a defendant

  
  
**Under British and Australian laws a jury in a criminal case has no access to information about the defendant's past criminal record. This protects the person who is being accused of the crime.  
  
Some lawyers have suggested that this practice should be changed and that a jury should be given all the past facts before they reach any decision about the case**  
  
Laws in Britain and Australia have not allowed a person's past conviction to be seen by the judges in order to give protection to the defendant while it is suggested that the criminal history should be on open display. I share my view with both opinions because it is important to respect the criminal's privacy but knowing the previous actions may help solve the case easier.  
  
On the one hand, when a jury is given full access to such private information, there is a high tendency that the defendant may be sentenced too severely or let off with a warning, which he does not deserve. Say, for a person who is not new to committing crimes, the jury might be likely to make conclusions with prejudice according to his criminal record. Thus, he might not receive justice and feel disappointed about the deep-rooted opinions of the jury which could negatively affect his chance to turn over a new leaf.  
  
On the other hand, giving the judges the right to approach the criminal history means less effort and time is needed to settle the legal case. Gathering evidences takes time and it is very challenging so the criminal record is a useful tool to impose accurate and appropriate punishment. There is a high chance for a person who is guilty of a certain crime to convict to the same crime again and if the judges has access to that valuable information, the investigation would be less time-consuming.  
  
All things considered, both these protocols play a beneficial role in the judicial system. In my perspective, they should be followed according to the seriousness of the case in order for both the jury and defendant to have their own good.  
  
(287 words)  
  
Thank you in advance!
I would suggest changing the formatting of your sentences at times. This can enhance the flow and the structure of your essay because it will help you evade mistakes as you are composing your text.  
  
For instance, in your first paragraph, I could revise the first line to be:  
*To give protection to the defendant, British and Australian laws have not permitted judges to see past convictions of a criminal. Some contest to this, mentioning that the criminal history should instead be open.*  
  
**Notice how I had separated your two thoughts into sentences to ensure that the delivery is clearer**. Furthermore, I had also changed your articulation through combining phrases that will create better flow for your essay (laws in Britain and Australia became British and Australian laws). Having a more formal tone will help your essay improve.  
  
Aside from this, I think that your essay has sufficient content, especially because you are working with a word count.  
  
Best of luck as always.
**Topic: Modern communications mean that it's no longer necessary to write letters. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?**  
  
## handwritten letters will become obsolete

  
  
It is evident that technology has rapidly evolved over the past few decades, reshaping the way of communications among people all around the world. Although some still use written letters, this traditional way to communicate should be eliminated due to substantial benefits of modern ones.  
  
One of the main advantages of modern communications over the traditional is higher quality. First, since the information is digitized, modern communications, such as email and messaging apps, have capability to embed with media contents. For example, by using email, people can attach not only many photos but also videos, which is much more convenient than traditional letters. Second, modern communications allow users to read and comprehend the content easily. In fact, words of typing letters have better font, which is easier to read as well as have fewer errors compared to the written ones.  
  
Another substantial benefit of modern communications is higher quantity. First, since writing by hand requires time to keep words clear for reading easily, typing is much faster. This means that users can save a lot of time by typing on either computers or mobile phones. In addition, thanks to mobile networks and the Internet, modern communications are conducive to sending to multiple receivers. For instance, in order to send messages to several receivers, email users only need to type the messages once instead of writing many letters for each receiver.  
  
In conclusion, modern communications are far more beneficial and convenient than writing letters. This way of communicating should be encouraged and developed more to make our life better.  
  
*Thank you in advance*
I appreciate the structure and content of your essay. I do have a couple of recommendations that can better the flow of your writing.  
  
**Firstly, I would suggest that you try to evade the usage of words that are quite vague or unclear.** This can diminish the quality of your essay because it does not contribute to the meaning of your words; rather, it only adds to the word count. Alongside this, I would also watch out for your usage of articles. The excess or absence of these words in your content can greatly affect the quality. Moreover, I would add that you should try to be clearer with your language. When you mention that there are modern alternatives, you can already mention what these are.  
  
Let's take your first paragraph's second sentence as an example. I would revise this as:  
*Although a few still use written letters, this traditional communication way should be eliminated because of the benefits of its alternative: the usage of electronic devices.*  
  
Notice how I had shifted around the wording and phrasing to make improve its flow; and I had also integrated a straightforward approach to the writing.  
  
I can also apply this to your third paragraph's fourth sentence by revising it as:  
*Additionally, the surge of mobile networks has made modern communications conducive to receivers.*  
  
**Secondly, try to use more fluid methods of transitioning into your arguments.** While using the words first and second to sort out your thoughts into the essay is acceptable, you can opt to omit them and instead use moreover, furthermore, and other similar words to enhance your content's composition. This will also help you evade using redundant or repetitive words that diminish the quality of the text.  
  
**Lastly, I recommend adding more details to your concluding remarks.** If you follow through with the previous two suggestions that I have, you would be able to at least free up a little bit of space in your word count to make sure that your essay has more space for substantive content. Give a brief summation here of your standpoint in the essay.  
  
Best of luck.
**You should be more clear with your language and usage of words**. Avoid constructing sentences that lead to follow-up questions. When you're rereading your essay, ensure that you are able to discern what you are saying. It always helps when you provide a summation of what you ought to tackle before you go into the in-depth details. Your first paragraph, *for instance*, was quite unclear with where it wants to go. Remember that this first paragraph is supposed to teach the readers what the direction of the rest of your essay will be.  
  
I would revise this first paragraph as:  
*It is vital to teach children how to distinguish between right and wrong at an early age. This can come hand in hand with carrying out punishments. However, these should always be constructive to teach them lessons. If not, these could potentially damage the child's growth.*  
  
**In terms of the content of the arguments of your essay, it would be a great addition if you could expound more on why your proposed method of approaching this situation is better than simply giving out harsh punishments**. It is great that you were descriptive with what you wanted to happen in the case that a child would need to be punished; however, it would be beneficial if you could explain why this method is best out of all the others that are present. You should also be more specific when it comes to tackling children. You could, for instance, **discuss a specific age range wherein this method works best because there are instances wherein a child is too young to comprehend said situations**. Being more specific can help you have more in-depth content that will elevate your writing.  
  
Apart from that, I think that you should as well focus more on creating more straightforward texts. **Avoid being redundant with your language whenever you repeatedly make mention of the same concepts throughout your text**. If you can do this, you can create better alternatives that will sharpen your writing skills.  
  
Best of luck.
***## Shopping is the favorite pastime for most of the young people.

  
Why do you think is that?  
Do you think they should be encouraged to do some other useful activities?***  
  
It has been a commonplace to see many youngsters choose to shop as one of their favorite leisure activities. While shopping offers the ultimate stress-relief from modern life, I believe that young people should be diverted to other ways of spending their free time.  
  
To begin with, it is undeniably true that young people nowadays are more stressed out than the past. In a rapidly changing world, the fact that they not only have to hone their skills to keep up with latest technologies but also have to survive in a competitive job market makes their lives become increasingly stressful. This has led many of them seek to relieve such stress through shopping. Many studies show that it can be an effective way to help people overcome their blues in that buying products help them regain psychological control of their situations.  
  
Considering the negative side effects of shopping, I contend that more productive leisure activities should be encouraged to young generations. First of all, frequent shopping may lead to shopping addiction. This is because spontaneous shoppers affected by the high level of stress would end up with impulse buying, most of which are unnecessary. Although shopping may provide one with instant gratification, such pleasure does not last long enticing people to shop again creating a vicious cycle of undesirable shopping habits. Given that shopping as a hobby may exert adverse impacts on young people's mental and physical health, alternative pastime activities, such as swimming and other physical activities, can be healthy way to spend  
  
In conclusion, many young adolescents have chosen to shop as their favorite pastime to reduce stress; however, due to its risk of being shopaholics, other healthy activities should be suggested.
**You should create a more balanced argumentation format for your essay's structure.** Notice how roughly *two-thirds of your essay was spent explaining the dynamics of shopping* - and how this affects this particular demography. You had spent little time explaining what the point of your essay was, which was to ultimately tackle why it is advantageous to have alternatives to merely shopping. If you can balance out your essay's overall composition, it would sharpen the content of your essay. Talk more about how the alternatives provide benefits to the young people.  
  
**As for my technical commentaries, I recommend that you try to look at small mistakes that you may have overlooked in your essay**. For instance, you had small mistakes regarding the usage of verb tenses and usage of commas. I would also suggest that you try sticking with less complex structure formats to help you lessen the potential mistakes.  
  
For instance, I would revise your second paragraph's second line as:  
*The rapidly changing world and enhanced technological developments entail that they have to continuously hone their skills to survive in the job market. This adds intense stress to their lifestyles.*  
  
Notice how I had your single line into two separate ones to make the delivery of the message clearer. Doing this to your longer structures can help clear out any confusing phrases that you may have; and this as well permits you to evade harsh deliveries.  
  
You should also add more details into your conclusion. If you follow through with the instructions in the first portions of this feedback, you'll be able to address this lack of substantiation in this area.  
  
*Best of luck.*
## The toxic relationship

  
  
l won't contact the one who ghosts me twice. Though it is a common phenomenon in modern easy-going society. But it doesn't mean right. The first time she ghosted me I just let it go. But this is the second time. And I believe if I just act everything is fine this kinda thing will happen again. I won't blindly forgive the person who hurts me. I won't stoop to another person's level.  
  
There're two possible reasons why she ghosted me:  
First, she's a moody person. If she gets angry or mad, she just ignores me. A moody person can go to emotional extremes in a short period of time, and she is definitely a toxic partner. The best way to deal with her is going away.  
  
Second, she's a rude person who does not show respect to others. No response means no respect, whilst no responsibility in a relationship. The best way to deal with her is going away.  
  
My friends believe her behavior and what she said shows the lack of respect and impolite actions. That makes them do not have a good opinion on her. The healthy relationship helps each other to be better ones. The toxic relationship makes at least one person suffer and lose energy. So it's time to brush off this nasty encounter and just let it go.