my essay I am preparing for CBEST. I failed the test twice.  
  
**At some point in our lives, all of us have faced some sort of rejection or defeat. Write an essay about a time in your life when you experienced such a rejection. How did the rejection affect you?**  
  
## a sad recollection from the past

  
  
I had those occasions in my life few times when I felt defeated by rejection. The one that really sticks with me up until now, the painful memories and the joy and pride. It was the time when I decided to be a teacher. I enjoy the company of children so much, that I came to know by raising my own children.  
  
I every day learn something new from my children. They are being young, have a different perspective on most of the things then grown-ups. Which sometimes make me pause and wonder the newness or uniqueness of the idea. Also, I learned the determination, persistence, motivation, and ability to love unconditionally. I realize what could be more rewarding than being a teacher.  
  
I started finding out, how to become a teacher. I had my Masters degree so in order to teach, I have to take CBEST exam first and then complete some certifications and licensing exam. But the first step was CBEST. It had three sections Math, Reading, and Writing. I started to update my math and reading abilities, I passed both sections in the first trial. Then I prepared for writing as everyone was saying it can be the hardest portion for non-native speakers. I took everyone's suggestions and prepared. Now, it was the day of examination. I had some apprehensions but my confidence was strong. I took the test and wrote with my best ability on two topics which were given to me.  
  
Now is the waiting period for the results. I was sure I will pass, therefore I even started looking for jobs and thinking about applying. After two weeks, results were sent through the emails. I opened my email with mixed emotions, and I was stunned to see that I scored 33 marks. I needed 37 to pass the test. I could not believe at first then checked the comments to see why I could not pass, what were mistakes I made. It stated that Usage, Structure, and convention needs improvement. I just could not discuss anything with anyone that day. My emotions were shattered, I felt I would not be able to pass since I mentioned before I gave my 100 percent for the writing. Soon in a day or two, I accepted that it was not 100 percent otherwise results would be different. There is a need for improvement and also in the process, there will be no harm I will even learn more.  
  
Finally, I registered for next test date which was in three months. This time I took help from those who are in teaching and has experience, in other words, I received professionals guidance. After experiencing the failure my confidence was not that strong like the first time, I was nervous on the day of examination. Again, I wrote in my best ability on both the topics. After the exam, I felt relieved and started hoping again for the future and jobs. This time I passed the exam. I have no words that can describe the joy.  
  
At the end, I felt that If I would not take the test again I would have the memory of defeat and rejection in my mind for rest of the life. Now I have learned the lesson that one should always try few times before giving up so they can establish their self-esteem again which is shattered by rejection.