dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
## negatives and positives in the development of the economy

  
  
*Some people say that economic growth is the only way to end hunger and poverty, while others say that economic growth is damaging the environment so it should be stopped. Discuss both views and give your opinion.*  
  
Improving the economy is a priority in the agenda of most developing countries since it is believed to be the only viable solution to famine and poverty. Many people, however, raise concerns that economic growth can do great harm to the environment. In my opinion, both sides of the argument have their rationales, which this essay will discuss below.  
  
On the one hand, economic development is considered the only way out of destitution and hunger because it brings money for both households and the government. As the national economy burgeons, more jobs will be created, which provide myriad families with an income source. With this employment, not only can people afford basic necessities such as food, water, and shelter but they can also give their children a decent education. Their offsprings thus will have an opportunity to lift themselves out of poverty and even strive for a high quality of life thanks to the knowledge and skills they assimilate at schools. Furthermore, a growth of economy means more taxes for the government, which in turn can be granted to the poorest citizens in the country as financial aid. In this way, economic improvement can make an enormous contribution to solving poverty and famine.  
  
On the other hand, a boom in the economy can play havoc on the environment due to the discharge of chemical wastes and the excessive exploitation of natural resources. An inevitable implication of developing industries is the burning of more fossil fuels. This process disposes into the environment a substantial amount of toxic fumes, which then heavily pollutes the air. The pernicious effect of economic growth can likewise be seen in acute water pollution as manufacturing plants pump their untreated sewage directly into rivers, lakes and seas. Another threat that economic development poses to the environment is the depletion of natural resources, used as fuels or raw materials. As an illustration, the reserve of coal in Vietnam was once estimated at seven billion tons, yet it is now nearly exhausted.  
  
In conclusion, I believe that there are both negatives and positives in the development of the economy. Therefore, it is imperative that the state implement well-thought-out policies to maintain economic growth and at the same time, minimize environmental costs.  
  
Could you please give me some feedbacks on this essay and an estimated score if possible? Thank you very much.
## Cambridge English IELTS 7. Test 2. Task 1.

  
  
*The graph illustrates the fish, lamb, beef and chicken consumptions in an European country from 1979 to 2004.  
There were a significant rise in the amount of chicken consumed and a steep decrease in beef and lamb consumptions. Meanwhile, the consumption of fish was stable during that time.  
  
In 1979, beef was the most popular meat in this country. Between 1980 and 1986, the amount of beef consumed moderately fluctuated then rapidly declined: 220 grams and 100 grams per person per week respectively: 120 grams gone down.  
  
At the beginning of the period, the chicken and lamp consumptions were quite the same : approximately 150 grams per person per week but these two features come to two different ways. The chicken consumption sharply went up to 250 grams for a person in a week: 100 grams per person per week rise. By comparison, the amount of lamb eaten remarkably dropped by a similar amount.  
  
The amount of fish consumed had a slight unsteadiness with an inconsiderable slump over the 25 - year - period.*  
  
*
Your summary overview should have provided an identification of the type of graph involved. In this case, the graph used was a line graph representing fluctuating consumption of various food products. There should have also been an identifier of the measurement data from the chart (grams per person per week) to help explain the way the information was collected and how the measurement data was used.  
  
I feel that you did not do a very good job at rephrasing the original information. There are still too many of the original words used in your presentation that could indicate a cut and paste or memorized presentation to the examiner. I would have done it this way instead:  
  
*The provided line graph indicated the way that humans ate various meat products between the years of 1979 up to 2004. The consumed meat products were chicken, beef, lamb and fish. Measurement indicators used were based on the grams per week that a person consumed. The obvious trend for the food eaten was...*  
  
The overview needs to be highly specific, informative, and clearly presented so that your work will be seen as completely developed and comprehensive for scoring considerations.  
  
Your trending statement is confusing as you have 2 trending statements presented. You have one as the last presentation of your summary overview, then another one for fish at the end of the report. That stand alone sentence should have been integrated into the previous paragraphs as that is not a trend but rather, a measurement report. So integrating it into the last paragraph would have been a better fit for your presentation.  
  
The Task 1 essay is normally just a 3 paragraph presentation. So you do not need to aim for a 4th paragraph reference. The stand alone sentence would have been bad for your GRA score anyway because it showed that you were not able to use all the information to create another 3 sentence paragraph. Each paragraph needs 3-5 sentences so combining related information in one paragraph is acceptable.
## why criminals re-offend after being discharged from prison

  
  
*Topic: Many criminals re-offend after they have been punished. Why do some people continue to commit crimes after they have been punished, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?*  
  
Today, the issue of why criminals re-offend after being discharged from prison has been receiving a great deal of public attention. Although this problem can be attributed to a whole host of reasons, some feasible solutions can be taken to tackle that.  
  
Several reasons are cited to explain the emergence of this problem. First, since offenders are poverty, they will be inclined to commit crimes after releasing from prison. In fact, because of their criminal records, they are unaccepted in society, which makes finding a job more difficult and they often have no way of making a living as a result that they have to continue breaking laws. Second, by being sent in prison, offenders mix with other criminals who can be a negative influence. They are easily persuaded to continue engaging in unlawful activities.  
  
Nevertheless, there are several feasible solutions to this problem. First, in order to reduce the rate of crime, governments should have rehabilitation programs that prisoner for release into society. For example, prisons should provide education and vocational training for offenders to learn new skills like cooking, and gardening, which helps criminals return to the community. Second, if offenders feel useful in their communities, they will not re-offend. Plenty of evidence suggests that when offenders are accepted in society as others, they are able to find a job that helps them support themselves and their family, which leads to the delinquency's reduction.  
  
In conclusion, this problem is caused by many reasons, and some solutions will be considered to solve it. By considering all reasons, governments can choose the best decision to diminish the rate of crime.  
  
270 words  
Thank you!
This is a very solid essay that could have been even better if your had done the following:  
- Outlined your reasons in the discussion restatement as a response to the direct questions being asked  
- Better explained how the prisoners can be fully re-integrated into and accepted by society in general.  
  
The first reasoning paragraph is well developed and explained. This shows a clear understanding of the given discussion. Your examples are well stated as it is obviously based upon publicly known information regarding recidivism. That will definitely help to increase your C&C score.  
  
However, the lack of a clear explanation of your suggestion for the re-integration of the former convicts lacks supporting suggestion. How do you think it should be done? Why would this be effective? Those are the questions that second reasoning paragraph should have better explained.  
  
The conclusion should have been longer. It should have been 5 sentences covering:  
- Topic restatement  
- Your 2 connected reasons  
- Your 2 connected solutions  
- A repeated explanation of why the solution will work  
  
You have truly written an acceptable essay here. It shows your potential to reach the passing score, at the very least. The LR section will also score well because you used certain applicable words such as feasible and provide, in a natural flowing way. Word usage tends to better help the score when the word is used in a manner that does not sound forced, out of meaning, or the student obviously trying to impress the reviewer.
## color's role in human lives

  
  
Today, the notion of giving color schemes when decorating offices and hospitals or not has received a great deal of public attention. Even though scientists have known the effect of colors on human's emotion, colors used for decoration in some particular places such as hospitals, offices should be taken into account.  
  
There is a number of reasons approving of application of color schemes for some places where necessary. As a matter of fact, businesses have been aware of the impact of on employees' productivity. The general view has been that if you work in an office which has many colors and patterns on the wall, you can end up finding it hard to concentrate. Besides, visitors may be drawn attention by the colors around them, so they would difficult it hard focusing on what they are doing.  
  
Furthermore, color offers a wide range of benefit to people. My university, for instance, uses bright colors in classrooms in order to inspire students to come up with great ideas during lectures. In fact, some researches have revealed that creative people feel more comfortable and are likely to work out better if a room is painted in bold colors.  
  
While work is about output, hospitals are about the health of people. Clearly, bright colors would be less welcome on a hospital ward, where patients are recovering from operations and illnesses. Apart from that, some suggestions are that children need some genres of entertainment, and walls painted with orange and red can meet their desire. Similarly, doctors and nurses are likely to need brighter surroundings to relieve stress in breaktime.  
  
In conclusion, as color plays such a huge role in human lives, designers should think about the color used for decoration, which, in turn, helps the occupants get the best out of their surroundings.
## Climate change is a big problem

  
Government can not be expected to solve this problem. It is the responsibility of individuals to change their lifestyle to prevent further damage. What are your view?  
  
Key:  
Today, climate change is a big and remarkable issue for whole countries around the world. Someone believed that the duty of government is not worth considering. To exclude global warming, the responsibility belongs to each citizen. To me, I disagree with that idea. Government and citizen need to hand this issue together.  
  
Initial, the government in each country reserves the climate change laws. Factory emissions laws are enacted to limit gases, smoke from industrial activities. Moreover, speeches, policies that are form to encourage people to be aware of climate change thoroughly. For instance, in England, after realizing the change of temperature and the air positively during quarantine time causing by COVID-19, English government hearten citizens up using bikes instead of car and motorcycle.  
  
Further more, perception of each person makes up an essential part in preventing the getting warm of the earth. People in every countries comply with the rules everywhere even when in some countries that the government have not concerned timely yet. After listening to climate change statements and propaganda. These good ideas are ingrained in people's consciousness, thus in their small actions contain senses of excluding global warming.  
  
If the responsibility of personals was not given prominence to prevent further damage, it would be clear that the duty of the government is not enough. In contrast, if the government did not do anything to forbid, to lead inhabitants, it would be great shortcomings of the government.  
  
In conclusion, I would maintain that excluding global warming to reduce disaster in the future is both for the government and individuals function.
## Global warming responsibilities

  
  
Climate change represents a major threat to countries around the world, and some people argue that people should be responsible for coping this problem instead of companies and the authorities, and I'm completely disagree with this viewpoint. I believe that both corporations and governments have equal responsibility.  
  
Governments indeed need to take responsibility for the impact on climate change as they have the most power to change things. People and companies would not change their practice until the authorities introduce stricter laws or offer incentives to change their behaviors. For example, governments could introduce green taxes on drivers or companies and impose heavy fines for those who fail to adhere to these laws. Furthermore, the authorities could also invest money in the development of renewable energy, such as solar, wind or water power.  
  
Corporations also have responsibilities for combat climate change. Firstly, companies could build up the collaboration with governments in inventing green energy from natural sources by gathering groups of outstanding scientists around the world. Moreover, manufactures could reduce the pace of climate change by implanting circular economy. Circular economy features that companies retain the responsibilities for the products instead of customers, which means companies are responsible for dealing with the products that reach the end of lifecycle. Manufactures could repair the broken parts of an item and reuse them to assemble another products.  
  
Individuals certainly have the responsibility of dealing with global warming for some degree. The public could affect the acts of governments by voting for politicians who propose to combat climate change, rather than for those who would prefer to ignore it. In addition, people could limit their contribution to climate change by becoming more energy-efficient, by taking public transportation or bicycles, and they could boycott the products that have much packaging or companies known for pollute.  
  
In conclusion, climate change is a pressing global issue, and I believe governments, companies and people have equal responsibilities for combating global warming.  
  
\_\_\_  
Thank you for your revision.
## Analysis of the provided maps

  
  
Task 1  
The two maps below show an island, before and after the construction of some tourist facilities.  
Summerise the information by selection and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.  
  
My essay：  
The maps of theisland compare the differences between with or without the tourist facilities.  
  
It is clear that after the construction, there are not just trees anymore but with houses, roads, pier and so on.  
Besides these actual facilities, on the map we can see there are activities design based on the nature resources, such as boat, beach and swimming area.  
  
Thought it become much crowded on the island, there's still spaces remain undeveloped.  
It's obvious that all the places for tourist are gathering in the same area.  
This would make it easier to other destination, and it wouldn't bother too much time and traffic tools to make it.
I cannot properly review this essay because of 2 reasons:  
  
- You did not provide the images for comparison and review  
- You wrote only 109 words  
  
The images, I use for comparing the data you indicate in your report. The word count should be at least 150 words for the Task 1 essay. There is no way this essay will get a passing score because you wrote only 109 words. It is severely under the minimum word count. The percentage points deduction for the word count will not allow this essay to gain a passing score.  
  
The writing format is incorrect. You have presented the data in poetry writing style rather than a complete paragraph composed of 3-5 sentences each. You are writing a data report, not a poem. Fix the format write the related sentences successively in the given paragraph. Do not use creative writing style formatting for a Task 1 essay.
## The best way to improve public health by building more sport facilities

  
  
***Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required*.**  
  
***Discuss both these views and give your own opinion***  
  
Some people believe that building more sports facilities is the most efficient way to promote public health, while others argue that to have any significant impact other methods need to be adopted. Constructing additional athletic and gaming complex's will create an interest amongst the public as a majority of them grew up playing some sport, however, it is finally the mind-set of the people that needs to evolve towards embracing a healthier lifestyle.  
  
On the one hand, since a large proportion of our population participated in some form of athletics or sport in school, they would be more susceptible to take up sports as a form of exercise. Building new facilities would bring back memories and pique the interest of people. Additionally, many sports require teams which would encourage participation in large numbers. For instance, in a country like India where cricket is treated as a form of religion, if the government built more cricket grounds, it would definitely attract participation from a large crowd. Therefore, proving the importance of more sports gymnasiums.  
  
On the other hand, in order to truly have a meaningful impact on public health, the importance of a healthy and disciplined lifestyle needs to be instilled throughout the society. We need to invest into raising awareness about the benefits of exercising and fitness starting from young children. The reason for this is that parents often take an interest in their child's activities and would be eager to follow them into fitness. Furthermore, when the youngsters become adults and usher in the next generation, they would inculcate the same values of well-being in their wards.  
  
In my view, we first need make health and fitness a daily routine starting in the primary level at school. For example, if schools made it compulsory for each student to play a sport, it'd encourage parents to take an active part as well help in their child's fitness journey. This would ensure that not only the current population but even future generations will be more conscious of their lifestyle choices.  
  
In conclusion, while increasing sports facilities will encourage a certain part of populace, in order to reach a wider audience and to meet long-term benefits fitness and sports need to be made part of our daily lifestyle.
## Due to the development of the internet, public libraries are no longer necessary.

  
***To what extent do you agree or disagree?***  
  
Internet is becoming more advanced and important to some people, to an extent that they prefer this source of education over the traditional approach such as public libraries. However, I strongly believe that libraries are irreplaceable, as not only do they encourage a positive sense of belonging, they are also a more credible source of knowledge when compare to the Internet.  
  
First of all, libraries offer beyond just simple information, they also bring people together and promote a tighter community connection. In fact, these places are often considered to be gathering locations that offer educational seminars and workshops. This means it facilitates get-togethers and discussions among learners, which in turn assist their learning development. As the result, local people would perceive libraries as a place to receive help, as well as acknowledge others' difficulties and support them.  
  
Secondly, libraries contain physical books are generally more credible than the Internet. This is because before a book is published, there are strict procedures that authors need to follow. After that, that book is going through peer review and proofread. All these steps are to ensure that the information provided is reliable. On the other hand, Internet is more relaxed in terms of restriction, which leads to some websites providing writer's opinions rather than proved facts. The inconsistent of information accuracy results in the readers being confused or believing in incorrect data.  
  
In conclusion, even with the growing popularity of the Internet, I absolutely believe in the importance of maintaining and developing public libraries. Not only do they promote a strong relationship within the community, they are also the most reliable source of information.
This is an almost excellent essay that should score above the simple passing band score. In my opinion, this essay is a good example of a starting at 7 band score presentation. Why?  
  
- You properly responded to the prompt question, although you should have indicated that you believe that libraries are still a necessity rather than being irreplaceable. The former being more in tune with the original prompt. Necessity = something indispensable, irreplaceable = unique or cannot be replaced. The words have 2 different meanings. indispensable being the more vocabulary appropriate word to use in the relation to the given discussion.  
  
- You focused your reasoning paragraphs on supporting your point of view regarding the given topic  
- Your discussion paragraphs are solidly developed in a clear and connected manner  
- Your conclusion covered all of the required elements  
  
You indicated that the internet and libraries are a source of education. Rather, these are sources of information. Education just happens to be a side effect of the pursuit of information. I know, I am nitpicking, but you want to have the most perfect essay presentation right? That starts with an accurate restatement of the given discussion. You never know what may add or deduct from your scoring considerations.  
  
While the grammar is far from perfect, the clarity by which you presented your information made up for any grammatical errors in terms of simple and complex sentence presentations and lack of other punctuation mark usage (other than a period and comma). Again, nitpicking. Overall, good work though. This is a good start for you.