dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
**Some people think visitors to other countries should imitate local custom and behaviors. Some people disagree, they think the house country should welcome cultural differences. Discuss the two views and give your opinion.**  
  
## respect for locals and their culture

  
  
It may be true for some people traveling overseas have to follow behaviors and values believed by local society while others believe that the home country should appreciate different cultures brought by travelers. This essay will discuss the two points of view.  
  
It is good for foreign people to imitate local custom and behaviors when they travel to other countries. It is a sign that they appreciate what local people believe and it will help them to mingle with everyone who lives there. In addition, it is undeniable that international tourists who behave locally can prevent themselves from conflict with local people because there will be no cultural clash between the local culture and theirs, and they will enjoy their traveling more. For example: to be accepted by the native, European people traveling to Islamic countries should not drink alcohol in public area because it is against Islamic values which forbid Muslim to drink it.  
  
Apart from previous explanation, it is believed that a visited country should accept cultural differences due to several reasons. Foreign travelers may have a hard time and need to take a longer time to adjust to the local culture which is totally new for them so that native people cannot force them to behave as they do. In addition, appreciating new culture shows that local people have high tolerance level and are friendly to welcome anyone who has different behaviors and values. It will be beneficial to boost the number of tourists to that country.  
  
In conclusion, while foreign people are required to appreciate and follow local values because it will help them to mingle easily with natives and have a more enjoyable visit, local people should also welcome other's cultures in order to make them comfortable to live in and increase the potential of their tourism sector.  
  
@holt , please examine this writing
Lincoln, the overall score for this essay will fall under the 4 bracket based on the discussion that you have presented. The overview summary and outline stated in your opening paragraph is incomplete. Since this paragraph is supposed to outline all paragraph topics in chronological order, the fact that you did not indicate that you will be stating your opinion, after a discussion of the two points of view made the summary incomplete and the task accuracy score fall in the scoring system.  
  
Aside from that, you did not accurately represent the two opinions in the essay, per paragraph as being one of the two points of view that you are discussing from an impartial standpoint. It appears that both points of view relied on your personal opinion. That is not the instruction for the essay. You were to present a paragraph long discussion for each point of view first, then present your personal opinion in the 4th paragraph, prior to your concluding statement. These mistakes, when taken collectively into account, resulted in a low score. It is sad that you got a 4 based on a technicality. The mistake in the discussion form affected the overall score of the essay.
**The bar chart below gives information about the number of students studying Computer Science at a UK university between 2010 and 2012**.  
  
## statistics of computer science study in UK

  
  
The bar chart describes how many people took computer science at university of UK. They are divided based on their gender and country's origin. It is noticeable that there were always more British students both in males and in females easy year while there was a sustained increase in all figures except in the figure of men in 2011.  
  
In 2010, the number of male students from UK started at just under 40, 20 points higher than the number of international ones. The same trend occured in the category of females, in which the native ones were twice higher in their number than the overseas ones, at 30 and 15 respectively. There was a significant increase of local women by 15 in 2011 while the overseas female students rose slightly to just above 15. Meanwhile, in the male group, there was almost approximately 20.  
  
The number of local and foreign learners increased remarkedly to above 35. In the contrary, the quantity of women's figures in both categories rose slightly to 45 for British and 20 for international students.  
  
@holt, please examine this writing.  
  
*
Lincoln, the second paragraph of the essay is a bit confusing for the reader because you did not use the complete years indicated in your descriptions. There are year indicators for every figure that was shared in the bar chart. It would have been clearer if you discussed each figure from the chart based upon the year indicators and within 2 paragraphs. The two paragraphs could have grouped the discussion into an effective manner by indicating a collective discussion for the British home students first. Then, in the next paragraph, you could have presented the same type of collective discussion for the International students. That way the flow of the information presentation would have been easier to follow for the reader. Overall though, your work was pretty good on this essay. It could have possibly earned you a 5 in the final scoring overall.
**Hi Lincoln**, please you fix my few corrections  
  
They are divided  
They are CATEGORIZED...  
(Please, you prioritise the meaning if you wanna pick up the word. Delivering the proper word is to get a higher score)  
  
in females easy year while there was a sustained increase in all figures except in the figure of men in 2011.  
Avoid mentioning the detailed information in the overview in the overview. it's better you write like this  
*Moreover, the female had always dominated for students coming from other countries.*  
  
at 30 and 15 respectively.  
Be careful of including the data. I think tha data you gave inappropriate information because the bar does not stand out at 30. You are supposed to write " at approximately 30".  
  
*Apart form those all, you have fallen the vast mistake. You have missed the information in 2012. I don't know exactly how to group the data so that you produce the second body paragraph which can confuse readers. Honestly, before I review your writing, I need time for understanding your picture so that I know how to group the data well. In my vantage point, you should review examples of the writing task 1 so that you know grouping technique. The strength in the writing task 1 is how to pick up the attractive information through the grouping technique.  
  
Hopefully, these can help you for improving your skill.  
GOOD LUCK*
**In the past, buildings often reflected the culture of a society but today all modern buildings look alike and cities throughout the world are becoming more and more similar Why is it the case? Is it a good thing or bad thing?**  
  
## Modern and alike

  
  
In the olden days, the outlook of building depicted the cultural heritage in comparison with the modern buildings which almost look similar to each other, that in turn makes the city look alike. This trend could be ascribed to the scarcity of land for construction of buildings. In my opinion, having buildings which symbolises the culture has enormous advantages in terms of maintaining cultural divergence and tourism.  
  
There are evident reasons as to why the houses in Metropolitan cities resemble one another. First and foremost, the population has skyrocketed which resulted in the scarcity of land for construction of houses. Due to increase in pollution many people have migrated from suburbs to urban areas. Thus, cities are overpopulated leaving very less space for construction of houses. Due to this, the concept of an apartment is vital in almost all cities wherein all buildings are constructed with the same plan which is an exact copy of each other. Bangalore is the prime example which is already hosting more people than it can accommodate, which led to the construction of buildings which are alike.  
  
Nevertheless, the rise of the apartment is not all that beneficial. This is because the buildings show the culture and history of our religion. For example, Muslims while constructing home include one dome at the top. Therefore, it clearly reveals the religion which has been followed by the people if we look at the buildings. Furthermore, tourists have a great deal of interest in viewing the different type of buildings when they visit places of interest rather than viewing the same kind of building everywhere.  
  
All in all, the modern buildings around the globe resembles each other in contrast with the buildings from earlier decades which were differently built. In conclusion, the construction of the buildings with the same pattern will result in losing cultural divergence which has been followed from ages around the world.
Haleshi, you can expect a final score of 3 for this practice test. The score is based upon the discussion that you presented, which showed that you clearly misunderstood the prompt and its required discussion instructions. The main point of the prompt was to have you discuss two points:  
  
1. Why do cities in various parts of the world look alike?  
2. Is this a good or bad thing?  
  
Rather than discussing the world wide comparison of similar architectures, you discussed a localized version of the prompt instead. The cities referred to in the prompt indicate clearly that these cities look alike throughout the world. So the discussion to presented was already wrong. Aside from that, you used the singular form of city throughout the essay when the plural form is what you should have used since that is the reference in the original prompt.  
  
The discussion presented in your essay would have been more acceptable and scored higher for you if you had only done the comparison of the cities that look alike from a global scale. Cities such as London, Brussels, and Berlin, all located in different countries across the world and yet, have similar looking cities in their countries. One is in the United Kingdom, the other in Belgium, and another, in Germany. The discussion as to why these cities look alike are based upon a shared cultural heritage, environment, weather pattern, traditions, etc., which led to similar architectural styles for their cities. Being in close proximity, the countries tended to share their knowledge amongst themselves, which led to similar architectural styles. Therefore, the shared architectural style cannot be considered a bad thing because it is the result of knowledge transfer and improving architectural styles.  
  
The reason I gave above is a more prompt adherent discussion when composed to what you presented. You understood what the prompt wanted you to discuss, you just failed to understand that it was supposed to be on a global and not localized scale for discussion.
**Nations should pass laws to preserve any remaining wilderness areas in their natural state, even if these areas could be developed for economic gain.**  
  
*Write a response in which you discuss your views on the policy and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider the possible consequences of implementing the policy and explain how these consequences shape your position.*  
  
**Essay**  
  
## naturalness protection

  
  
The population of the world is increasing, putting more pressure on constrained natural resources. Due to human beings, many species have become extinct and it has also precipitated a rise in temperature. Human beings seem to be a natural disaster which might play a crucial role in the extinction of life on earth. Many countries have extensively relied upon their wilderness areas for economic gains. I completely support this policy due to the reasons that will be discussed in the following paragraphs.  
  
Wilderness areas are an ecosystem in which individual components play a crucial role to keep the system healthy. From earthworms to scavengers every single organism plays a leading role in maintaining the health. There has been a lot of research that shows how trees are able to communicate with each other, and they can also provide nutrients to unhealthy and weak plants. This ecosystem is very hard to replicate and has survived thousands of years of drastic weather conditions. Human intervention proves to be fatal when some of the components are disturbed and broken. It is not easy to restore or replicate nature's creation and human beings should stop deteriorating them for economic gains.  
  
Sustainable development is an investment in the future, though it comes at the expense of current economic benefits. This growth can be considered as an example of delayed gratification, and we will be able to reap larger benefits. Instead of focusing on short-term economic gains, nations should promote research on alternative sources of income and energy.  
  
We should slow down and look at the impact of our actions. Global warming threatens the existence with melting glaciers and increasing sea levels. Eventually, a large part of the land will be inundated. It is possible to balance growth and environment and Bhutan is the living example of such a nation. Bhutan consumes more carbon dioxide than it produces. It is the only nation in the world with a negative carbon balance. Our world necessitates the destruction of nature for financial goals, but Bhutan, notwithstanding, sets and example of an alternative approach  
  
It is high time that human efforts should be redirected towards the preservation of nature, instead of wealth creation. We should start thinking about our children and the future of humankind. Replicating or planting trees after destroying natural reserves is futile as the artificial ecosystem is not resilient. I strongly support this policy and would also like to see harsh punishments for the violators.
Shivam, upon close analysis of your essay, I do not believe that you can score higher than a 3 for this work. The flaws in your reasoning are serious enough to affect the overall score of your essay because you failed to do two things. The first, is to present a competent and understandable paraphrasing of the prompt requirement. The second problem, is that you failed to anticipate the questions that can be posed regarding your supporting arguments, as well as the lack of consequence discussion and how it shaped your opinion. Both of which were clearly stated in the original discussion and both of which, you were expected to accurately represent in your essay. The failure on your part to do this shows a lack of understanding of the requirements posed before you. Which in turn, led to the lack of properly developed response on your part. Aside from that, the grammatical errors in terms of sentence structure and development also adversely affected the presentation and clarity of your discussion within some parts of your essay. The final outcome, was the score of 3.
**People find it very difficult to speak in public or to give a presentation before an audience. Do you think public speaking skill is really important? Give reasons.**  
  
## the qualities of oration

  
  
It has been observed that few people face difficulties to deliver a speech or to give a demo in public. In my view, it is very much essential to master the qualities of oration. This is because enhancing these skills provide a great deal of confidence to an individual.  
  
To begin with, there are plenty of reasons to illustrate the benefits of giving a presentation in public. First and foremost, individuals who can face the world without shy and hindrance are good at handling things with confidence. In other words, people who can clearly express their ideas and make others understand are bound to achieve success. A good illustration is the life history of Dr. Mukesh Batra, who is the founder of Dr. Batra's Group of Medicine. He started off his journey into the field of medicine and brought his company to the international level in a couple of 20 years. In his biography people have shared his qualities of leadership which were the key to his great success, this reveals that having a quality of addressing audience can act as the key to success.  
  
In addition, university education includes pursuing internship and projects in the final year of the course. As a part of this, students are supposed to prepare a presentation to brief their project work in front of lecturers and students. Even though, a student has prepared an excellent presentation, without proper narration skills it is indeed difficult to get a higher band. Universities are giving a lot of stress on these skills and some universities are arranging weekend classes on soft skills which are highly beneficial for students. Thus presentation skills give more exposure for Juveniles and help them to express their ideas clearly.  
  
All in all, communication skill is one of the main soft skills which add flavors to one's professional career. People pursuing these skills are in high demand, who can be appraised and appreciated with some perks.
Sinchana, the example that you gave about the doctor is irrelevant to the discussion. You presented his success but it does not clearly related to an ability to be able to conduct public speaking. Public speaking is different from merely speaking to people in private. Public speaking requires an audience and simply talking to people can be done in private. The second paragraph that you wrote about students having to speak in public is also not relevant enough. Had you said that public speaking skills are important when a college student is defending his thesis in front of the thesis board, then the requirement for public speaking skills would have been more relevant. Based on the aforementioned problems of your essay, I do not think that you can score higher than a 4 in the actual test.
This is my first essay, I hope I find someone correct it for me.  
  
**You have enough money to purchase either a house or a business. Which would you choose to buy? Give specific reasons to explain your choice.**  
  
## being a boss in your own house

  
  
In most countries, owning a house come with taxes and other money related problems. Thus, for most people earning money is the number one priority in their lives. Starting a business is the best choice to them. In our country Saudi Arabia, we don't have these problems. We don't have any taxes for anything and can easily purchase anything without worrying about financial problems related to it. For me, having a house is much more important than having my own business for several reasons.  
  
First, owning a house add a sense of stability and comfort in person's life. For me, I can have pets, backyard for my children to play, our own garage, storage space.. etc.  
  
The ability to be my own boss in my own house is priceless. Living in an apartment in building - either owned or rent- don't give me much of freedom. For example, I live in an owned apartment and I really regret not buying a house when I had the chance. Am having problems with storages and space although when me and my husband bought it we thought it was spacious. My daughter don't have much space for playing, and we usually combat with our neighbors for car parking! Having a house will solve all these problems and when new one pops up it can be easily sorted out.  
  
Second, buying a house will affect the person or family income. He or she won't be worried about rent by the end of the every month or year. In addition, he/she will save more money in the long run as they stopped paying rent. From my experience, owning the place we live in is an advantage in our lives.  
  
The amount of money we used to spend in rent is now spent in more important things, or it can be saved to build a business.  
  
Last, living in an apartment means you have to deal with building supper or neighbor complaints for anything. In the other hand, if you have a house you will not be subject to all of this. Right now, we pay a fee every month for building services and maintains though we own the apartment, but nothing is free these days. Most of the rent money we thought we can use it was spent on different kind of fees.  
  
In summary, buying a house will give you piece of mind. It actually will help you save more money. Moreover you will leave a good asset to your children as a property has price. So it is a good investment for the present and the future
Hai @NorahFSH.  
  
First of all, if you are writing for IELTS, then your essay is too long. You are only allowed to write about 250-275 words in IELTS Writing task 2.  
  
Then, it seems that your first paragraph which supposed to be the introduction and overall statement is not cohesive with the given task/question.  
  
I suggest you to make your first paragraph be more concisely yet precisely defined. Then, you should lessen additional information such as **"Right now, we pay a fee every month for building services and maintains though we own the apartment, but nothing is free these days"** which is not too necessary to mention in the body paragraph. Try to make your essay sound more academically so it does not seem like the daily journal.  
  
Thankyou, I hope it can be useful!
At first glance, your essay seems a bit messy due to unequal portion of each paragraph. Some of your paragraphs are acceptable and some of them are not. Any kinds of essay needs to have at least three sentences for each paragraph. If you take a closer look on IELTS / TOEFL reading passage, there is no paragraph that has less than 3 sentences. Thus, my suggestion is that you need to add some sentences or possibly combine a paragraph(s) that is(are) too short. That's why it is also important to mention the words limit (if it is available).  
  
In addition, if this is an academic essay, the usage of contraction(s) are not allowed. You have written some of them in this essay and it needs to be altered. Yet, this is not an academic essay, you can ignore this suggestion. Moreover, I also found some lexical resources that improperly used and placed within the essay. For instance, you need to differentiate between 'piece of mind' and 'peace of mind'. Then, what is the meaning of 'supper'? I reckon it was a 'late dinner' if I'm not mistaken. I've tried to look up in Cambridge English dictionary and found nothing but 'late dinner'.  
  
Let me know if you have revise the whole content and I will give you further comments. Hope this helps :)
Norah, you have approached this essay as a casually written narrative rather than an academic piece. Regardless of what type of test you wrote this practice essay for, the fact that you decided to use such a relaxed form of writing creates a problem for this essay. For example, you use the term etc. and also an exclamation point in the essay. That is really disrespectful to the examiner and will result in a lower score in terms of grammar accuracy. Make sure to always keep the academic tone in your writing and do not write more than a 5 paragraph essay that is composed of 3-5 sentences each. The way you wrote this, it is almost as if you were just writing for an English class. Don't make these mistakes with your succeeding practice tests because if you get used to it, you will most likely do it in the actual test. Which can result in your failing the test you hoped to pass through these practice tests.