dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
Yurike, when you have practiced 38 times (38 threads) and still have some errors related to spelling is actually quite disappointing. Try to be more careful next time before posting a new thread. Proofread is a MUST to avoid making unnecessary spelling errors. Also, I am not the one who told you to summarize the video but I personally think that 73 words is too short for a summary. It might be better to write at least 100 words for each thread that you post.  
  
The detailed descriptions below should help you achieving a better quality of summary.  
- Mono-tasking and multitasking are ~~the~~ two things which are~~defferent~~different .  
- ~~Monotasking~~Mono-tasking is skill which ~~focusing~~focuses only on one particular thing~~things~~ , but multitasking is another different skill which is able to make people do or control many things ~~in~~at one time.  
  
- For ~~the~~ example, mono phone is a device that~~which~~ has one essential function or mono compass is a device which has one **feature on the adventure.**(confusing meaning)  
  
- Meanwhile, there is another of skill, supertasker. It is~~of the~~a skill that people have to~~who are able to~~ manage multitasking field.
Hi, let me give you numerous comments  
  
1. There are a number of error spellings  
Monotasking ----> Mono tasking  
defferent ----> different  
compas ----> compass  
  
2. Monotasking and multitasking are the two things ~~which~~ defferent  
if you use which you need to add subject and verb  
  
3. Monotasking is skill which ~~focusing~~focus only one things  
you need e verb  
  
4. which is able to do or control many things in one time  
  
Thank you  
Keep writing
(NB:I am sorry i cannot insert the picture because the image in my book)  
  
Turbine for generating electricity from wind and the positions where it can be placed is shown in the diagram. Overall, the wind turbines is one of the device to produce electricity using renewable resources and its installation causes trouble related to the power is produced by wind turbine and the location.  
  
Turbines consist of blades from fiberglass or timber, wind sensor to measure the speed and the direction of the wind, generator and steel tower. The process start when wind passed the blades and it makes the blades rotate. As a result, inner porous which connected with the blades is rotated by propeller and it makes the generator produce electricity. Furthermore, to get optimum result from wind turbines, wind sensor should be controlled by computer and the angle and direction of the blades are controlled by the computer.  
  
However, the electricity is produced by wind turbine will generate more electricity if the position of the turbine in the hill rather than the turbine placed in the coastline. Moreover, when the wind turbines located in the higher position will produce more electricity rather than small domestic wind turbine nearby house.
Dioba, you can simply take a picture from the book by using your camera of your phone or your friends' phone if you don't have any. A simple action like that can be a solution. However, here's my analysis towards your report summary of IELTS task 1. I hope you can follow through.  
  
1st paragraph:  
- Overall, the wind turbine~~s~~ is one of (...) renewable resource~~s~~ and **its installation causes trouble** related to the power is.. (really? it is not supposed to be a "trouble" I guess, instead, it might affect the quality of the wind power itself)  
  
- ~~Turbines~~The wind turbine consists of blades from...  
- The process startS when wind ~~passed~~passes through the blades and...  
- ... rotated by propeller and then ~~it makes the generator produce~~ electricity is produced by the generator . (switching to passive voice is preferred in a diagram process essay)  
  
- ...wind sensor **should be** controlled by computer... (be careful in giving an opinion for task 1. It is not allowed and it can be considered as inappropriate format. Then, you can only get 5.0 or worse.)  
  
As you can see, several remarks and inputs have been delivered for the betterment of your essay. I hope you can gain some improvements later on. Good luck :)
Dear My brother  
let me give you some inputs  
  
1. Overall, the wind turbin~~es~~ is one of the devices to produce electricity using  
  
2. The process is started~~start~~ when wind passed ...  
  
3. As a result, inner porous which is connected with the blades is rotated by the propeller and it makes the generator produces electricity.  
  
4. rather than the turbine which is placed in the coastline.  
... wind turbines are located in the higher position, it will produce ...  
  
Note: you did many mistakes of passive voice, commonly you missed "to be", please kindly to notice your sentence especially when it comes to passive sentence
**TED Summary - The world's English mania - Jay Walker**  
  
The majority of people believe that English has removed other languages due to its popularity. However, English is used as the mean of communication by a global citizen, particularly to overcome world's issues such as climate change and poverty. Furthermore, people learn English to have a better quality of life. By learning it, they have bigger opportunity to be successful, having better salary and more prestigious job. It is reflected by almost 2 billion people in the world teaching and studying English. Even in the near future, China will become the world largest English speaking country.  
  
source: youtube
Lincoln,  
Here's my contributions towards your TED's video summary. I hope you can follow through and gain some improvements in the next practice. :)  
  
- ...believe that English ~~has removed~~remove other languages... (statement, should be in present form)  
- ... to be successful, and have~~having~~ better salary...  
- ...people in the world of teaching and studying..  
  
Overall, I can say that your summary is quite understandable due to minimum errors that I have found. You have carefully written a summary by considering grammatical range and accuracy seriously. Also, the flow of ideas is well-done. You have effectively used cohesive devices to link your sentences into an appropriate and well-developed paragraph. My suggestion is that you need to find any other videos that are quite uncommon to others. I have seen like "hundreds" of Jay Walker summaries in this forum. TED.com itself have thousands of videos that you can pick but this one.
**IELTS Writing Task 1: Consumption of Fast Food by Australian Teenagers**  
  
There is a line chart about how many times a year do the juveniles have fast food in Australia from 1975 to 2000. Pizza, fish and chips, and hamburgers are compared in the chart.  
  
Fish and chips are consumed a hundred times in a year in 1975, and it is around tenfold increased as many pizza and hamburgers. Then the number of eaten of fish and chips declined slowly, and eventually drop off to about 85 times in 1980. However, the amount of fish and chips consumption immediately climb up and stop to the number 95 in 1985. Yet it starts to fall gradually. In the end, it is lower than the consumption of hamburgers in late 1985 and pizza in late 1990.  
  
Instead of the fluctuated times of eaten of fish and chips, the number of times eaten of pizza and hamburgers always raise from 1975 to 1995, and they both consequently in a steady state from 1995 to 2000.
Ching Tang, IELTS buddy is a website that has many IELTS sample answers and questions. Do you expect the reader to go there and search the picture of your writing? It might be very HELPFUL to us if you just SAVE the picture from that website and upload it here. Perhaps, you can just also copy and paste the link of the picture here, as simple as that. However, this is the detailed feedback towards your writing. Hope this helps :)  
  
- ~~There is a line chart~~The line graph illustrates the information about how many times in a year do the juveniles ~~have~~consume fast food in Australia from 1975 to 2000.  
  
- **Pizza, fish and chips, and hamburgers ~~are~~were compared in the chart.**(too simple. This type of overview will only make your band score become 5 or below in terms of task achievement.)  
  
- Fish and chips ~~are~~were consumed a (...), and it ~~is~~was around tenfold...  
- Then, (comma needed) the number of eaten ~~of~~ fish and chips (...) eventually dropped off...  
- ...immediately climbed up and stopped to the number 95 in 1985.  
- ~~Yet it starts~~Nevertheless, it was started to fall gradually.  
  
It is quite clear that you has mistakenly chosen the appropriate tenses for this type of task. When you take a closer look at THE YEAR, it is actually obvious that this data was taken in the PAST and therefore, PAST FORM of sentences are needed.
**SOME PEOPLE THINK WHEN RECRUITING, COMPANIES SHOULD AIM TO TAKE ON PEOPLE WHO ARE INNOVATIVE AND ABLE TO WORK INDEPENDENTLY WHILE OTHERS CONSIDERED THEY SHOULD RECRUIT PEOPLE WHO ARE ABLE TO WORK IN A TEAM AND FOLLOW INSTRUCTIONS. DISCUSS BOTH VIEWS AND GIVE YOUR OPINION.**  
  
Developing of companies is affected of capability, skills and loyalty by employees. Some organizations have regulation to recruit workers who have the highest creativity and independent habit when working. But other argue, when recruiting people who is accepted are able to work in team and rigorous in operation. This essay will discuss both opinions and personally, I strong believe that people who want to recruited in a companies are depend on the capacity and the purpose or critrion needs to be prioritized more.  
  
To begin with, there are several factors why the company usually accept worker who have innovation and working individually. Firstly, the creativity ways carry a rapid increase and development of them, because they could solve any problem that are unsolved as of now. For instance, a programer , they can find a new design pattern has resolved many issuees software and also optimized them, so that it helps their company more survive in the world industry. Secondly, working individual on some procedure helps to reducing the risk of error and miscommunication. For example, a designer tend to alone when work because they have leeway to take ideas and big creativity which is created by theirself.  
  
Secondly, accepting workers who have capability in work team and able to follow the organization systems is considered able to work in industry level. It is because in a industrial position would be more efficient than one working alone. Team work helps people when there are any difficult and it can be solve together.  
  
to sum up, even in some companies do not recruit employees who are work independently but I believe that firms where creative production needs candidate with innovativeness and ability to work indepentdently. On the other hand, employees who able work in team and follow the system their company are appropriate for position in operation line. (307w).
Reski, apart from the above-mentioned feedback from one of EF members, I would like to mention your weaknesses in order to make you able to strengthen them in the next practice and not fall into the same mistake. I hope the detailed descriptions would help you achieving a better quality of an IELTS task 2 essay.  
  
- First of all, you have quite a lot spelling errors. This would not bring any benefits towards your final grade. You should proofread your essay by looking up certain difficult words that you think you are unsure about it. Many spelling mistakes would lead your band score to 5 or even worse than that. For instance, those spellings errors are "critrion" > "criterion", "issuees" > "issues", "programer" > "programmer", "theirself" > "themselves", "innovativeness" > "innovation", and "indepentdently" > "independently". Quite a lot isn't it?  
  
- Second, punctuation is also one of the essential assessment criteria of IELTS writing and capitalization is included. Try to look at the last paragraph, the phrase "to sum up" is not capitalized properly.  
  
- Then, as you might know, I have given some feedback to several members of this forum concerning the rule of academic writing. Mentioning "but" in the beginning of the sentence would make your essay becomes less academic. This is because "but" is considered as one of coordinate connectors. Therefore, my suggestion is that you can just switch "but" by using "However/Nevertheless" and many other cohesive devices that related to "contrasting" ideas.  
  
Hope this helps :)
**TED (v) Benjamin Todd To find work you love, don't follow your passion**  
  
Benjamin Todd, as the TED speaker, said that when he was graduated, he had a lot of interests. He started with mastering martial arts, becoming a philosopher, investing his money. It confused him when choosing his career. He argues that choosing a career is a complex problem. Therefore, he and some academic researchers from University of Oxford conducted a research to find the real career decision. The result of the research is common career advice in this era are wrong. He suggests us to identify our greatest interest. Secondly, we should find the job which matches with our interest. The important thing that should be noticed is that when we follow our passion, it will lead us to a bigger possibility to fail. Because our interest is changing overtime, it is not a rigid basis for deciding a career. He advises to do valuable things in our life. Furthermore, focusing on doing what is valuable leads us to the real passion and concrete meaning for goal. All in all, he suggests us to explore, get good at useful skills and apply our skill to solve the problem.  
  
source:TED
Hi, these are my thought towards your summary  
  
... that when he ~~was~~ graduated, he had ...  
... a philosopher, and investing his money. It confused him ~~when choosing~~to choose his career. He ~~argues~~argued that choosing a ...  
(the result of the research revealed that common career advisers in this era are wrong)  
  
Firstly , he suggests us to identify our greatest interest.  
  
... should be noticed is ~~that~~ when we follow our passion, surprisingly , it will lead us ...  
He advises to do valuable things(try to avoid the used of 'thing') in our life.  
  
Thank you
Two Chinese astronauts, Jing Haipeng and Chen Dong, went to space by Shenzhou 11 vehicle for monthlong stay which it is the sixth and longest crewed China's mission and the growing ambitions of advancing space program. They come back on earth with good condition and they spent 30 days aboard for conducting experiment and preparation of equipment. The space program has realized new progress and can contribute in the innovation and a world power of science and technology of the country. the reputation of the space program that China has launched two space stations, staged a spacewalk, landed a rover on the moon and is now considering sending a crewed lunar mission. The another country is funding the china's space program to Tiangong 2, which, at 60 tons when completed, would still be considerably smaller than the 420-ton ISS.  
  
Source : TIME
Dear Yuri  
Let me give you some inputs  
  
... and Chen Dong ~~,~~ went to space by Shenzhou 11 vehicles for the monthlong stay which ~~it~~ is the sixth ...  
  
... they spent 30 days ~~aboard~~ for conducting experiments and preparation of equipments .  
  
The space program has revealed~~realized~~ new progress and can contribute ~~in the innovation and a world ...~~ . into innovative findings and become the power of science and technology of the country.  
  
Note: please simplify your vocabulary, don't too similar to the original version. you have to paraphrase the word and make your own. good luck
**SOME PEOPLE THINK WHEN RECRUITING, COMPANIES SHOULD AIM TO TAKE ON PEOPLE WHO ARE INNOVATIVE AND ABLE TO WORK INDEPENDENTLY WHILE OTHERS CONSIDERED THEY SHOULD RECRUIT PEOPLE WHO ARE ABLE TO WORK IN A TEAM AND FOLLOW INSTRUCTIONS. DISCUSS BOTH VIEWS AND GIVE YOUR OPINION.**  
  
A Person who is able to give a new idea and independent is appropriate to be recruited in some companies while others need submissive employee who can work as a team. Personally, I believe it depends on sectors which companies focus on. Innovative people who work independently are suitable for research and development sector in chemical industries while another who can socialize when working will be worked by commerce companies.  
  
To begin, a large number of chemical companies seeks fresh graduate who is able to create breakthrough and independent for developing base knowledge. This happen because to achieve an improvement, people who are not dependent to others are able to give brilliant innovation from research which they will do. Taking an information of Kurita waste water treatment company from Japan in 2015 as an example, gave some selections to measure whether its job applicants are innovators and be able to work without any help from other people. Therefore, for this job area, they recruit job applicant who can create a new method and idea for growing up company.  
  
However, in another section like trade companies, they employ people who can work together and follow company's instructions because those employees are needed to market products and running business planning. Based on experience of my aunt who works in Hatric, one of sales company in Indonesia, she was forced to be able to communicate with other employees in her team. If her team had decided one idea then company ask them to change it suddenly, they cannot do anything. That way commerce company choose obedient persons who can team work.  
  
To sum up, whatever aim when look for a new employee, it exactly will be matched toward company background. Scientific industry is going to recruit innovative and independent persons while other like trade companies will choose them who are submissive and can work as a team.
Dear Beauty  
Let me give you some advice  
  
- ... who are not dependent ~~to~~on others are able (...) from based on research which they will do (carry out)  
  
- gave some selectionsprocess to measure whether its ...  
  
- they recruited job applicant who  
  
- then company asked them to ...  
  
Good Luck...  
  
Note: please pay attention to your grammar and your singular and plural sentence
***SOME PEOPLE THINK WHEN RECRUITING, COMPANIES SHOULD AIM TO TAKE ON PEOPLE WHO ARE INNOVATIVE AND ABLE TO WORK INDEPENDENTLY WHILE OTHERS CONSIDERED THEY SHOULD RECRUIT PEOPLE WHO ARE ABLE TO WORK IN A TEAM AND FOLLOW INSTRUCTIONS. DISCUSS BOTH VIEWS AND GIVE YOUR OPINION**.*  
  
The successful companies sometimes depend on employee's way of working, so business entity should recruit workers who are creative and do not rely on others. While others regard it should be better to gather employees who are able to work in squad and dutiful. This essay will discuss how independent workers sometimes bring difficulties for company and then benefit of gaining obedient employees, which I tend to the second notion because they will help company to attain the purposes.  
  
Having innovative and independent workers are good for certain enterprise. They can be given a lot of tasks and responsibility, but it will be hard for company. Because the type of these workers sometimes authoritatively to themselves, they think that they have a brilliant idea, which they can achieve by their own way. This is supported by the study from Osaka University that 52% self-reliant workers were dismissed due to the reason that they did not follow the company rules. Even though they had contributed some good idea, but their attitude caused damage to the enterprise.  
  
On the other hand, obedient workers and those who are able to work in team bring benefit for company. Since they will unite their thought to reach the purposes, take Google Incorporation's employees as an example. They always perform meeting to discuss company's objectives. Those who have pointed to work in squad will do their duty together while notice the company's regulation, and Internet users can see how Google shows their innovation such as in appearance and data updates. Personally, I tenacious stand at this notion since working in team is able to gain good concepts for the best achievement. It is also cannot be harmful due to the reason that they have analyzed it before doing.  
  
All in all, it may be good to have genius workers who can work independently, but sometimes it brings drawbacks to the company because of their character. However, I strongly supported the notion that dutiful team workers are able to back company's aim up to the good accomplishment. 340w
Anna, I can see that your writing is getting better. I do really like the way you elaborate your ideas coherently. Yet, I can still notice some rooms for improvements. In relation to Lexical Resource, if you want to attain band 6 or above, you are suggested to use "less common vocabulary". When you take a closer look at your essay and proofread it several times, it is noticeable that the level of words that you use is still ranging from basic to intermediate. There are six stages of vocabulary such as, A1, A2 (basic), B1, B2,(intermediate) C1, C2 (advanced) according to Cambridge English dictionary online. For instance, in this essay, mentioning "good" (A1 level of word) five times cannot improve your score in terms of Lexical Resource. It is more likely that you can only reach 5.0 due to that problem. Therefore, my suggestion is that you just need to alter the frequent usage of "good" into several alternative vocabularies such as, outstanding/remarkable/valuable to improve your lexical resource score. It might look simple but this is one of the essential categories in assessing an IELTS essay.  
  
Hope this helps :)
**Some people think when recruiting, companies should aim to take on people who are innovative and able to work independently while others considered they should recruit people who are able to work in a team and follow instructions. Discuss both views and give your opinion.**  
  
When we are going to be interviewed, we are often asked what the real personality of ours is. Sometimes, we afraid that our character will not match with the company. There is an opinion that company hires the person having innovation and independence, while others say that people who can collaborate and strict to the instruction are more likely to be employed. In my own perspective, it depends on the kinds of works, and this essay will first discuss the views of working independently that can lead to finish the work faster, followed by working in a team that will lead to make the clear instruction.  
  
First of all, people having innovative ideas are able to make a brand new thing that can be useful for company. It is important for company focusing on selling goods to the public. For people working independently, the time they need to resolve the company's problem is also shorter. Research conducted by Mr. Fujinuma Satoru from Beijing University has also proved that they can consume 27 percent of time shorter than others. However, owing to the fact that they depend on their own thinking, they do not frequently overcome the problem's core.  
  
People that can work in a team and follow the instruction sometimes consume the time longer since the debates are often seen. However, because more employees' minds are involved, obstacles facing by industries are solved precociously, and brainstorming resulted by long debates gives one clearly solution. In my opinion, the company has own typical workers they need. For example, advertising company is more likely to hire innovative person while the statistical company tends to choose the people having ability to work together in the same team.  
  
All in all, I briefly believe that the different job will lead to different requirements of workers able to solve the company's obstacle. Furthermore, employees having innovative and independent characters attract the company needing innovation while others need workers that can follow the employers' plan.  
  
(329 Words)