dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
**## The table shows forested land in millions of hectares in different parts of the world.

  
*Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.***  
  
The table compares the data in terms of forested land in different continents of the world in the years 1990, 2000 and 2005 respectively.  
  
Overall, the forest area in Africa, Oceania and South America experienced a downward trend throughout the period, while the forested land in Europe showed a steady but significant rise. In addition, the forest area in North America and Asia underwent fluctuations over the period.  
  
In 1990 the forest area in Africa and South America were 749 and 946 million hectares respectively. The forest area in both continents decreased sharply over a decade. After another five years forest area in both continents declined from 709 to 691 and from 904 to 882 million hectares continually. In contrast, despite the forest area in Oceania showed a dropping tendency, it experienced only a slight decrease from 199 to 198 million hectares between 1990 to 2000 and then dropped another one million hectare to reach 197 million hectares at the end of the period.  
  
The forest area in Europe was 989 million hectares in the beginning of the period which illustrated a gradual declined growth. It went up nine million hectares over a decade and then increased subsequently three million hectares after five years. Besides, both forest areas in Asia and North America went down 6 and 3 million hectares from 1990 to 2000. In 2005, the forest area in Asia hit a high-point of 584 million hectares rapidly while North America remained steady.  
  
**If possible, I want to know what brand I could score now because I am preparing my IELTS. Please also let me know the problems that I should avoid. Thank you.**  
  
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*Task image*
You should make sure that you write a proper summary overview. That means, include the rundown of the countries and the measurement type. Most students overlook that information in the overview but it is actually a part of the summary being presented. The overview is the basis of the trending statement. Which is why you have to do a good job in summarizing the information.  
  
Your paragraphs are running too long. Your sentences eventually turn into run-on sentences because you use commas to separate your data presentation. You only have 20 minutes to report this data in written form. That means you need to keep your data short but informative. You are not expected to report all of the information provided. Only the most important parts such as comparison points, similar measurements, and the like.  
  
You should not write more than 190 words due to the limited time frame. Remember, you have to leave at least 5 minutes to review and finalize your content. Save the long writing for the Task 2 section. That is where you need to write a long essay.  
  
Since this is your first task, I will not score it. It won't be fair to you. There are errors that you did not intend to make. Let's fix the content presentation first. Then, in your next essay, I will make sure to score you already. Right now, I just want to point out the main problem points and suggest improvements to you.  
  
Good work though. You should be able to speedily improve over time.
**@Holt**  
  
Thank you Mr. Holt. I really appreciate that you let me understand what is my weakness in this essay. I would write my Task 1 shorter and try to select more important data rather than describing all of them.  
  
About the part of my overview, I did write it and put it in my second paragraph after the introduction. Is there any important tips that I should know in order to get more score? Thank you for telling me the importance of summerizing an overview in this Task.  
  
I will keep practicing my IELTS writing.  
  
Sincerely,
I am practicing writing task 2 in IELTS test. Here is my second essay about tourism.  
  
***TOPIC: International tourism is now more common than ever before. Some feel that this is a positive trend, while others do not***.  
## What are your opinion on this?

  
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Global tourism has increased dramatically in recent years. Despite the undeniable fact that the tourist trade has brought some difficulties for the environment in the host countries, I would consider that the overall impact of international holiday making has in fact been positive. Two of the primary benefits associated with this trend are as follows.  
  
First of all, economies' development in most nations especially developing countries certainly depends on the tourism industry. The popularity of low-cost airlines is making it cheaper to travel abroad, as a result, more people in the world intend to choose to travel overseas in order to relax and have fun in their leisure activities. Then it helps to improve the standard of living among the local inhabitants. Furthermore, it brings jobs and encourages younger people to stay in their community instead of seeking work in the city.  
  
Traveling abroad, nowadays, is not expensive as it was in the past thus everybody can afford to have a chance to discover spectacular things in different places. Go somewhere new which not only opens our minds but it also broadens our horizon. Additionally, the tourist trade was often criticized because of the pollution its cause, however, the popularity of eco-tourism which I think indicates that the efforts of people and government who try to save our environment and wish to protect it rather than harm it.  
  
The benefits of increased tourism far outweigh its drawbacks if the awareness of travelers who move to the host countries is raised. They should always treat and behave in a responsible way whether they are at home or the places they visit as well as the locals with respect and conservancy so that they make tourism better.
Hello, I am practising for my Ielts test too. As a English learner, I have some comments about your writing.  
  
1. The question is about Discussion + Opinion essay, so you need to discuss both sides. I think body paragraph 1 for the positive sides and body paragraph 2 for the negative sides. And you will give your own opinion in the Introduction and Conclusion. (There are some pages teaching the types of writing task 2 for Ielts that you should visit)  
  
2. The words and phrases you use are good (better than me now)  
  
Good luck!
**@Gracie89**  
  
Hello Gracie I'm preparing my IELTS too. If you have time, please read some of my threads and it will be great, if you could help me to check them and give me some comments. Thanks.  
  
I think the essay above is a good essay. However I discovered some mistakes in your essay. Following are the problems.  
  
1. brought some difficulties for ... [to]  
  
2. in most nations especially [in] developing countries certainly depends [certainly] on the tourism industry  
  
3. is making it cheaper to ... [makes]  
  
4. is not [as] expensive as it was in the past [,] thus (or you can finish the sentence and write a new one with thus in front of the sentence)  
  
5. I personally think you could write [to sum, in conclusion or to conclude] in the begin of your last paragraph.  
  
Sincerely,
***The typical teaching situation of a teacher and students in the class will not exist by the year 2050.*  
## To what extent do you agree or disagree?**  
  
It is clear that development in technology is playing a major role in delivering education today. There is a view that by the end of year 2050, the typical presence of teacher and students in classroom will cease to exist. However, In my opinion, I agree with mentioned statement to certain extent as their will still be certain scenarios that shall remain as it is.  
  
Firstly, the pace with which education infrastructure is growing and adapting, it can be established that societies are accepting the virtual education platform. For instance, over the duration of past decade, fifty percent of the total academic degree's are now being offered online and by the end of next decade, it will be one-hundred percent. Recent technological advancements, such as virtual laboratories, assessments through artifical intelligence, certification exams being proctored using web-cam has left presence of individuals in classroom redundant. Evidently, with all the news ways of teaching, the typical presence of the students and a teacher in school classes is questionable.  
  
However, I believe certain scenarious between teachers and students are most-likely to remain unchanged for possibly the next three-decades. As an example, childrens will still be asked for regular home-work, assignment submission and regular examination. Failing to which, they could face same consequences. Furthermore, the most obvious problem of childrens being unattentive in classes and facing punishment would stay unchanged, even if the lectures are delivered virtually. Although there might be changes in the way childrens are punished so as to motivate them to study, but that shall not hinder the regular arguments between them.  
  
To recapitulate, with the advancement of technology and changing behaviour of education delivery by 2050, In my opinion, certain, traditional scenarios between teachers and pupil, such as arguments, and punishments shall stay unchanged.
Nope. You cannot have a middle of the road response. You cannot be partly anything in this essay because you deliver conflicting opinions, which means you do not have an opinion at all. You have to choose one side to support and justify completely in the discussion. In fact, based on your discussion points, I would have to say that you strongly disagree with the given statement. That is because your second statement is the only valid statement, in relation to the given discussion. Perhaps you were unaware that your first discussion paragraph was not relevant to the teaching dynamic being discussed in the essay.  
  
It is not about the classroom setting, it is about the teacher-student relationship. You have to make sure that you understand what the "Reason" for the discussion is, before you start developing a response. Understand what the hidden meaning is in the topic. Analyze the question. Weigh your response options. Don't just write your essay. Take the time to develop a proper response presentation. Understanding the topic and discussion format is highly important to your score.  
  
The second point precisely points out how the classroom situation will change, but the dynamics of the typical classroom shall remain. That is the proper discussion point for this essay that you could have very well discussed over 2 reasoning paragraphs. When you write these essays, you should outline your discussion points first. Do not create an extent response, then look for reasons. Outline the reasons first and then weigh the relevance of the outline to the discussion prompt. That is how you can choose what kind of opinion to have. Base it on your stronger discussion points in order to create a proper extent essay.  
  
This being your first attempt, I would have to say that you did a good job, even though there was a hiccup in your response. Not to worry though. As you become more familiar with the discussion formats, your writing and discussion styles should also improve. Good work. Keep writing. You can only get better from here.
## Development of the Islip town

  
  
*The maps below show the centre of a small town called Islip as it is now, and plans for its develop*  
  
The diagram demonstrates some proposed changes of the centre of a small town which named Islip.  
Overall, several infrastructures will be constructed with the covering by round road. Otherwise, these developments will regard to shops and housing.  
At present, the main road of the Islip centre run through from East to West but the second map shows that the main road will be transformed to route for pedestrians. Last but not least, the road will have some differences in structure, two-lane way will be considered in plan as well as its ring forming cover around the centre.  
  
The shops which located at the north side of the road will no longer exist because of the appearances of bus station, shopping centre and a car park. New housing will be set up at two locations which are in the east of car park and to the west of the park. Education institution still unchangeable during the development.  
  
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You have to remember that the task 1 reporting essay requires you to present the information over a total of 3 complete paragraphs. You only presented 2 paragraphs here so you should have done a better job at reviewing the drawing. By the way, this is not a diagram, this is an illustrative drawing. If you prefer to call it an illustrative diagram then that is also acceptable. Specific image information is required as there are several image types used in this task.  
  
This following sentence is unclear: *Overall, several infrastructures will be constructed with the covering by round road.* Perhaps you meant to say: *The changes to the building locations and road traffic will be changed. All the changes followed a circular format.* Your previous sentence was unclear. My presentation had more clarity to the explanation.  
  
Grammar correction:  
run through- runs through  
route for pedestrians - pedestrian route  
  
You need to be more descriptive in your presentation. Explain what areas were changed, what sections were removed or moved in one paragraph. In the next paragraph, explain what replaced the sections that were removed and what new changes can be seen in the image. Your report suffers from a lack of clarity in the presentation more than anything else. It will easily be resolved by your being more analytical and explicit in your explanations next time.
## Is it necessary to punish the kids?

  
  
Someone believe that discipline it is needed to help them determine the perception of good and bad at youngster. I totally disagree with this opinion because punishment leads to the shy in communicating and bad behavior of children in the future.  
  
The main reason why I feel that children should not be punished is because this will harm the confidence of them. As youngsters are always in nerve when they want to try some new things, they tend to close their lives. Gradually, they do not have interest in communicating with others. To illustrate, I used to be punished for dropping soup when I was eating too fast, then I felt scary when I see that food again. Luckily, that feeling was overcome but I still remember it until now.  
  
Another reason why I do not support the notion that punishing children is necessary is due to the fact that abused children are very easy to have negative thought. That bad thinking is accumulated gradually by time will be exploded at a crisis moment, and in the worst case it may cause murder. I cannot count how many cases that the killer had a very bad childhood because of serious hurt.  
  
In conclusion, I completely disagree that it is necessary for children to be punished. Not only making feel shy and unconfident in doing anything and communicating but also compressing the negative emotion in their mind, then leading to bad situations. Given this situation, it seems that in order to teach children the good and bad, parents should be patient and try to analyze the mistake when they make it.
You need to recheck your grammar before uploading to forum. For instance, you can double check the style and avoid word repetition.  
  
These are the basic mistakes you need to consider:  
- Someone believes that discipline ~~it~~ is needed to ... and bad at the youngster  
- The main reason ... is because this will harm ... ( The conjunction *Because* is the wrong word choice after *reason is*  
  
- ... not have an interest in ...  
- ...,they tend to close their lives. ( they tend to be self-contained)  
There are many other errors, you find and correct yourself
You need to upload the complete discussion prompt next time. I am unclear as to the whole discussion instruction provided. There is a topic presentation and a discussion presentation, but the reasoning basis for your discussion is missing. Why do some people think punishment is the only way to teach children right from wrong? It is that reasoning basis that is missing from your prompt paraphrase presentation. That is also the reason why your restatement and response can be deemed incomplete and not fully addressing the task. Without the reasoning statement, this paragraph is under developed and not fully explained. That is why that paragraph is short by another 2-3 sentences.  
  
The prompt reasoning topic is one of the major topics that should be discussed in your reasoning paragraphs. Since you did not present that in the paraphrasing and you did not provide the original prompt, I am not sure if you were able to address the main discussion point in the essay. While delivering your personal opinions are acceptable, you must also make sure that the main reasoning topic is connected to your reasoning somehow. That helps bring further clarity and coherence to the discussion you are presenting.  
  
Due to the missing element in this discussion, I cannot begin to properly analyze the response, the discussion, and the opinion you have provided. I am particularly concerned because you gave a simple disagreement in the paraphrase, but then gave an extent response in your concluding statement. That means you either made a mistake in the overall presentation or you did not understand how to properly format the essay. Either way, it cannot be good for your score.
## water usage comparison

  
  
The pie chart below compares water usage in San Diego, California and the rest of the world.  
The pie chart compares the amount of water used for resendetial, industrial and agricultural purposes in San Diego, California and the rest of the world.  
  
Overall, in the two American regions, the majority of water consumption for homes and industry, whereas agriculture accounts for most of water used globally.  
Looking at the information in more detail, we can see that water usage in households makes up 60% and 39% of the total water consumption in San Diego County and California. However, merely 8% of water consumption worldwide is consumed by homes . The reverse pattern is true for water usage for agriculture. People around the world use the vast majority of water for agriculture, at 69%, while only 17% and 28% of the total water usage in San Diego and California goes to the same purpose.  
  
Both in San Diego and all over the world, 23% of the total amount of water used is for industry, which is 10% lower than the figure for California, at 33%.  
  
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Your summary overview is almost a direct cut and paste of the original presentation. You did not even try to change the words in the presentation so that you would appear to have developed a new presentation style for your report. You also did not try to use synonyms either. You are not even trying at this point. You need to learn to change your presentation from the original so that your essay will have a chance at a better score. You could have said:  
  
*The images represent 3 circle graphs (NOTE: alternative words are histogram, scatter diagram). Each graph shows the allotment for water usage in 3 areas. San Diego County, California, and worldwide water usage were the representative areas measured. The water allowances were measured in percentages for residential, industry, and agriculture needs.*  
  
A trending sentence could have been attached at the end. You should have 3 complete paragraphs presented here. Instead, you have 2 under developed paragraphs and one over compressed paragraph in the middle. You need to follow the proper reporting format. 3-5 sentence per paragraph. Don't compress all the information into one presentation. That shows a lack of GRA abilities on your part. Learn how to separate the report into topic paragraphs. One paragraph per area. One for San Diego, California, and the rest of the world respectively. That would have allowed you to do a proper report and comparison of information. That would have helped to increase your C&C score.
## How the bricks are produced

  
  
The diagram illustrates the process that is used to manufacture bricks for the building industry. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.  
  
The picture explains how to make bricks for the buiding industry.  
It is clear from the diagram that the process consists of seven stages, starting with collecting raw material and ending up with delivering products to customers.  
  
Firstly, clay is digged by a large digger before being sorted out by a mental grid and falling onto a machine with rollers. Next, the clay is mixed with water and sand, and this mixture is poured into either a mould or a wire cutter to form bricks.  
  
Bricks, after being dried in a dried oven for 24 to 48 hours, are then put into a kiln with a moderate temperature of 200 to 980 degree celcisus. Following this, temperature in the kiln is risen to a high level, ranging from 870 to 1300 degree celsius. Finally, bricks are cooled down in a cooling chamber for 48 to 72 hours before being packaged and delivered to customers.  
  
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Learn to use alternate words to help you highlight your LR abilities. Synonyms for diagram are: blueprint, design, description, outline, procedure plan, among others. Do not stick to the mere basics of the vocabulary. That will not help your LR score. However, you need to be accurate when using alternative words as incorrect word usage can also lead to LR and GRA deductions.  
  
Always aim for the 3-5 sentence format per paragraph. That is how you can allow yourself to write in a manner that may get you a better GRA score. Your first 2 paragraphs are short in terms of sentence presentation. There are only 2 per "paragraph".  
  
Do not use a numerical ordinal if you are not going to follow through with that format in the succeeding presentations. Since this is a procedural image, you can skip counting and just focus on explaining every step in the process.  
  
Spelling errors:  
  
buiding - building  
celcisus - celsius  
  
Vocabulary errors:  
Digged - dug
## Co2 emissions

  
  
The line graph illustrated that the people of four countries discharged carbon dioxide averagely in the recent decades. The United Kingdom and Sweden are decreasing throughout the years; on the other hand, Italy and Portugal are increasing.  
  
In 1967, the UK at the point of almost 11 and Sweden began at more than 1 metric tonnes per person, the UK remained the same till 1977, Sweden reach a peak of over 10 metric tonnes at the same year. after that, the UK slightly decline to almost 9 metric tonnes in 2007, Sweden dropped to less than 6 at the end.  
  
At the beginning, Italy started at more than 4 and Portugal was at slightly more than 1 metric tonnes. they both rose steadily until the year of 1997, Italy remained the same to the end at almost 8 metric tonnes, and Portugal was slightly rose almost got to 6 metric tonnes.  
  
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