dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
Hallo diana.. welcome to essay forum. Before i want to give you suggestion, i remind you to make valuable 2 comments before you upload your new essay. Here my suggestions for you..  
  
1.Bad lifestyle for students depend on the accountability(What do you mean with this word? I think responsibility in this sentence already explain your idea) their parents and schools responsibility.  
  
It should be :  
*" Bad lifestyle for students depend on ..."*  
  
2.Task respon : Bad lifestyle for students depend on the accountability their parents and schools responsibility. I am strongly agrees with this notion owing to the fact that the most of pupils time is spent in both of school and housing life hood  
  
Why in your introductory paragraph you told only about student, while in question is asking about children? Better you should put word children to make your introductory paragraph able to answers the question  
  
3...., many students activities are that give bad effect for their body.  
  
What do you mean with are that give?  
Are is verb give also verb. So you put 2 verbs in one sentence that unappropiate. Thus it should be  
  
"First of all, many students activities give bad effect for their body"
**When students are in large classes, it is very hard for the teacher to give every student individual attention. What can educational authorities do about this?**  
  
Instructors being responsible for a class with huge number of students have restricted capability to observe them individually. From this problem, educational authorities have an obligation to divide students equally based on their capability and help the school officers to train teachers to handle those students.  
  
School teachers have right classified their students to different grades based upon personal achievements. As the student has its own way to learn subject, teacher manage them by matching with other students and assist them individually if they can get along with their friends. Study group is one of most effective way to let student actively learn subjects with each other and can maximize teacher attention towards every student during discussion. For instance, the learners who really know the subject should be equally divided in every group so that the incompetent students in group can be positively influenced by them, while teacher can easier observe specifically to every student progress on group discussion. Besides, special attention should be given to students who have struggled during the matching program, especially in group discussion. The reason is teacher recognize well their capacity and know how to offer them with best solution. For example, there are 10 out of 50 students who have marked low score during test. They are grouped together during free session and get extra training to catch up with class.  
  
Furthermore, training educators are essential to develop and refresh their knowledge in teaching during class. Every year many schools accept hundred new students with various background, which can be from religion schools, aboard school, bilingual school and boarding schools. By refreshing the method of teaching as well as educated motivation, those learners are expected to follow the new system in new school with help of well-trained teachers. It can be seen that in every country that teacher have monthly seminars to enhance their teaching skills and get new information about national curriculum.  
  
In conclusion, grouping students based on capabilities by school staffs as well as enhance teacher competence are best solutions to overcome the problem. It is recommended to seek other methods to enhance student personally in big class, such as, give handout of subject overview before class and give slides after the class over.
hi there! sorry, i went a little crazy on the edits but they're mostly just grammatical. hope you like them!  
  
Instructors ~~being~~ responsible...  
...with ~~huge~~a large number of students...  
...to observe ~~them~~each student individually...  
~~From~~To solve this problem...  
...authorities ~~have an obligation to~~should divide students ~~equally~~ based...  
...and ~~help the~~have school officers ~~to~~ train teachers to handle ~~those students~~each type of student .  
  
...School teachers ~~have right classified~~must classify their students in to...  
...has ~~its~~his or her own way to learn subject, the teacher should manage them by matching them with...  
...they cannot get along with their ~~friends~~groups .  
...Study groups~~is~~are one of most effective ways to let students actively...  
...and ~~can~~ maximize...  
...student ~~during~~through discussion.  
...equally ~~divided~~distributed in every group so that the ~~incompetent~~struggling students ~~in group~~ can...  
...while the teacher can ~~easier~~easily observe ~~specifically to~~ every student's progress...  
...~~Besides,~~S pecial attention...  
...program, and especially those that also had trouble in group discussion. The ~~reason is~~ teacher should recognize how well ~~their capacity~~they contributed and ~~know how to~~ offer them ~~with~~the best...  
  
...have ~~marked~~received a low score ~~during~~on a test...  
...with the rest of the class.  
  
...in teaching ~~during class~~ . Every year, many...  
...hundreds of new...  
...backgrounds , which...  
...religio~~n~~s schools, aboard schools , bilingual schools, and...  
...as well as ~~educated~~ motivation...  
...~~It can be seen that~~I n most~~every~~ countries,~~that~~ teachers have...  
...national curriculums .  
  
...school staff~~s~~ as well as enhancing teacher competence are the best...  
...enhance a student'spersonal performance~~personally~~ in a big class, such as~~,~~ giving handouts of...  
...and giving slides...
**When students are in large classes, it is very hard for the teacher to give every student individual attention. What can educational authorities do about this?**  
  
Teacher tend to feel hard when handling a class with huge number of students and this would lead to less individual attention felt by the students. Giving additional teaching and using new technology in classes are workable solution which can be taken.  
  
Giving additional lessons in school is one way to solve the problem for teacher who gets a difficulty to pay attention to each pupil in large class. It is important to carry out because this will assist academic of students as well as helping the difficulty in understanding subject matter. For instance, Malaya University has conducted research through additional lesson in school that the number of students experience increase in understanding what teacher has been taught after they have joined additional lessons. This condition reveals that it will solve teacher's difficulty in deliver subject.  
  
Moreover, the school authority should encourage both teachers and students to take modern technologies like projectors, sound systems, the internet and this will help to address the issue. For instance, if a teacher updates his blog with his lectures, students who had difficulty understanding it could easily study it from home. Besides, in Seoul National University, is it very famous that students have their own video screens in their seat, enabling them to see and hear their teacher's quotes from near. The teacher can find each pupil on a huge screen installed on the wall.  
  
To conclude, some students should study in class where their classes full of students so that it is reducing performance of their academic. Personally, teacher should give additional subject and the authority of school should give the technology facilities. It will give encouraging the both teacher and student in teaching and learning activity.
Radja, this essay will still garner a score of 4 during the actual test. The very first problem this essay has is a severely under developed introduction. It should have at least 3 complete and coherent sentences in order to be considered within the proper paragraph format. The grammar problems also prove to be a difficulty for the reader because your sentence structure does not follow a logical format and does not offer a clear idea as to how the discussion should be progressing. You offer factual information that does not really make much sense because of the way you presented your opinion. Basically, the problem that you have at the moment lies in your difficulty in developing proper sentences. I can tell that you have an acceptable opinion that you are trying to get across. In order to improve your skills in this area, I suggest that you try to read more English material so that you can get a clear idea as to how the English sentences are formed. This will also help you increase your vocabulary and understanding of the word meaning so that you can use the words in the correct manner the next time you write your essay. Don't give up. Keep trying. We are here to cheer you on.
A result of electronic inventions such as the computer and television , people do less physical activity, and this is having a negative effect on their health.  
  
Nowadays, there are alot of electronic inventions. They raise life quality to be better. People spend lots of their leisure time using them and becoming dependent. They rarely use their free time to do physical activity. That habit has damaged their health gradually.  
  
Lots of electronic inventions such as television, computer are now popular. Average time that users spend, is more than four hours each day. It is to hard to imagine life without electronic devices. However, using computer and others very long time will reduce your vision. Children in modern life know how to use computer, smartphone early.They prefer to watch TV, play game everyday, along with parents don't pay attention to their kids led to their health are affected. As a result, many children use glasses when they are very young. They become weak due to not doing exercise.  
  
Obviously, computers and TVs have brought many benefits for all people in the world because we can get knowledge, experiences, informations everyday. But it will attack people health if they overuse.  
  
In conclusion, technology has less negative effects more than positive effects, which bring for our life.
..., such as the computer and television IS THAT people do less physical activitIES, and ~~this is having~~ IT HAS a negative effect ...  
  
there are ~~alot~~ A LOT *with space*of electronic inventions  
  
and ~~becoming~~ become dependent  
  
using computer and other DEVICES  
  
... computer, smartphone ~~early~~ AT EARLY AGE  
  
~~informations~~ ONLY INFORMATION (UNCOUNTABLE NOUN)
Nowadays, business in a variety of subjects has significantly increased at a fast pace. Food is also not an exception. A number of new types of food are still being invented to these days in order to offer convenience to busy people. Microwave ovens were created for the purpose. You put your food in the machine, just wait for few minutes, and then it is warm enough and ready to be eaten. Fast restaurants are also amazingly useful among businessmen. People can hardly find places without them. They are almost located everywhere so that individuals can reach there in no time. In my perspective, microwave ovens and fast restaurants have brought great convenience to this society. Here are the two greatest reasons why they are beneficial to today's society: microwave ovens prevent people from skipping their meals and fast restaurant can give people chances to experience or earn jobs to afford their living.  
  
First of all, microwave ovens provide people with fast meals or food which can be cooked mostly within five minutes. Some businessmen in today's society can sometimes be really busy which forces them to skip their meals. Skipping meals can be a terrible problem for their bodies. For example, it can lead to bad eating habits as well as noticeable weight loss. As most food experts may indicate, it can also result in a lack of essential nutrients. Not eating, therefore, can be even worse than eating microwave oven food which may be regarded as unhealthy by some people. In order to stay healthy, eating is a matter that must be done individually by all people.  
  
Secondly, fast food restaurants give people including teenage ones opportunities to experience real-life jobs. I believe this is really important to people's lives because the social activity can make them grow more independently. A part-time employee can earn a salary to afford his living. Some other employees might also have a chance to become aware of how society is operated. Fast food, in other words, does not only rescue people from skipping meals but also give assistance to people in terms of business and living.  
  
To sum up, food cooked from microwave ovens and fast food restaurants are beneficial to contemporary society. They help people eat meals on a regular basis. The restaurants offer great opportunities to obtain a job besides accessible convenience from almost everywhere. Everything is useful if they are used for right purposes; however, overusing them can also cause serious problems. How about sometimes we cook meals ourselves to eat more properly?
***Some people think that online computer game is useful for children, while others claim is bad. What are advantages and disadvantages of online computer game for children?***  
  
There are several pros and cons toward the issue of the online computer games for children. The advantages can be seen by a lot of useful puzzle games played by children in the computer increasing their ability to solve problem and many kinds of games offered by online averting children from boredom. However, the opponent believe computer games bring many drawback impacts for children as they should actively move rather than focus on screen in their age and the intensity of watching screen decreasing their eyes ability to watch normally.  
  
Parents who let their children playing the online computer games believe it will increase their children ability to solve problem and it will avert children from boredom. It is undeniable fact that children are easily influenced by new things learned by them including online computer games. A research conducted by California University in 2012 showed as much as 51% children playing online computer games is more creative as they are accustomed to think fast to solve problem when they are playing. It is clearly can be seen that playing online games increase the brain productivity of children.  
  
On the other hand, the reverse assumes playing the online games gives more drawback impacts. Some parents believe the growth of their children should be more supported by physical activity rather than to sit and watch the screen. Their assumption is supported by a recent survey carried out by Japan Childcare Expertise reveals as much as 63% of children playing online games is become lazy as it is addictive and more than 79% of them having eye disease in their early age as they have high intensity to focus on moving screen. Therefore, it can be seen that the drawback impacts of online games is not only making children lazy to have physical activity but also decreasing their eyes sensitiveness.  
  
In conclusion, despite the positive impact of brain influence brought by online computer games, it also gives some disadvantages for children as it will make them lazy to have physical activity and it is not appropriate for them to stare long-term on the moving screen.
Hello again kiki23! Here is my thought for your essay.  
I will just write it down in the same format as the one from your previous thread.  
From this writing on, I will only point out more important errors rather than with singular/plural mistakes from the first second paragraphs.  
I hope this will be helpful.  
  
**Green = My personal recommendation (optional)  
Red = Things you need to fix.**  
  
The advantages (or Computer games) can be seen ~~by~~as a lot of useful puzzle games ~~played by children~~~~in~~on the computer ~~increasing~~that increases their ability to solve problem and many kinds of games offered by ~~online averting children from boredom.~~(If you are referring to who makes those games, I suggest you to use these words instead: "software companies" or "downloaded from game websites")  
  
... computer games bring many drawback ("drawback" is a noun, not an adjective to describe the following word "impacts") impacts ~~for~~(to/on) children as they should ...  
  
~~and~~ THE intensity of watching screen ...  
(Continuously watching the monitor can harm their eyesights.)  
  
Parents who let their children ~~playing~~play the online computer (...) increase their children's ability to solve problem and ~~it will~~ avert children from boredom.  
  
... influenced by new things ~~learned by them~~ including online computer games.  
... showed as much as 51% **children** playing online computer games ~~is~~are more creative as they are accustomed to thinking fast to solve ...  
It ~~is~~ clearly can be seen that playing online games increases the brain productivity of children.  
  
**Some enhancements can be made by doing these following things below:**  
-"I was searching for something on a website.", "I was playing a computer game on my PC.",  
"~ on PC", "~ on website", "~ on computer", "on screen", "on monitor"  
(I'm not very good at explaining how grammar or a preposition works. So here are some examples for your understanding.)  
  
- Be accustomed to ~ing something/ a noun.  
  
- Be careful with using singular and plural nouns.
Let me continue my feedback on the rest of your paragraphs.  
Hopefully you will check this message soon.  
  
... games gives more drawback ~~impacts~~ .  
... rather than to sit and watch (or sitting and watching) the screen.  
... Japan Childcare Expertise.IT reveals as much as (...) games ~~is become~~became lazy as it ~~is~~was addictive and more (...) in their early age ~~as they~~~~have~~had high intensity to ...  
  
... that the drawback ~~impacts~~ of online games is (...) lazy to have less physical activity but also decreasing their eyes' sensitiveness (or eyesights) .  
  
... gives some disadvantages ~~for~~to children as it (...) to have less physical activity and (...) to stare long-term ~~on~~at the moving screen.
**More renewable energy sources are harnessed to generate electricity these days. What are disadvantages and advantages of this trend?**  
  
Tend to use renewable energy to produce electricity. Even though free-pollution air would be created, its operational system requires more budgets.  
  
Renewable energy is great for our energy portfolio because they are inexhaustible and will not pollute the environment for us or those of future generations by emitting toxic chemicals and gases. For instance, solar energy creates absolutely no pollution, it means clean and results in little to no greenhouse and net carbon emissions. It will not deplete our natural resources and have minimal, if any, negative impacts on the environment, with no waste products of Co2 and other, more toxic take with different sources of energy. The use of this energy will not bring out bad effect such as air pollution so that communities are more likely to use it.  
  
On the other hand, the use renewable sources will spend much money because this needs many goods to encourage using this energy and have high maintenance expenses. For example, when we use a solar system that it should consider because the initial cost for purchasing a solar system is fairly high like the UK government has introduced some schemes for encouraging the adoption of renewable energy sources, such as the the Feed-in Tariff, you still have to cover the upfront costs. This includes paying for solar panels, inverter, batteries, wiring and for the installation. This condition shows that the use of renewable energy needs much money to purchase goods and require high maintenance expenses.  
  
To conclude, the use of renewable energy has less risk to environment and even this would  
Be free of the air-pollution but this will spend much money to purchase the goods of renewable energy and to maintain its equipment.
Radja, this essay would not score more than a 4 in an actual setting due to a number of reasons. It saddens me to tell you this but you have a number of incomplete and incoherent sentences. That means that some of your sentences do not make sense to the reader because it does not have a subject or does not have any supporting evidence to complete your thought process on paper. You must concentrate on improving your analytical skills and increase your vocabulary to the point where you will be able to create understandable sentences and paragraphs. I can sense that you tried your best to complete this essay in the right manner and I congratulate you for making the effort. You have the potential to get better over the coming days. I am sure of it.
Hi this essay needs lots of improvement. if you want to take ielts test please make sure in the first paragraph you make an introduction which consist of your opinion according to the prompt.  
  
in paragraph two and three, support your opinion with evidence or an example so that your paragraph stronger.  
last paragraph, you have to make a conclusion.  
==================================================================================================================  
  
in your essay there are so many mistakes.  
here are your problem  
subject+ verb agreement  
pronoun  
modals  
tenses  
it is hard for me to understand this sentence, but i know you will improve over the coming days if you make a strenuous effort  
  
~~Tend to use renewable energy to produce electricity. Even though free-pollution air would be ...~~ this paragraph does not make any sense, it seems you have problem with subject+verb agreement. in every sentence, at least there is one subject and verb.  
  
... great for our energy ~~portfolio~~ i don't get it, do ... because *they are* It is inexhaustible..
The amount of coffee, which was measured by kilograms and exported from three countries between 2002 and 2012, is illustrated in the figures. The most significant facts to emerge from the graph are that all countries, including Brazil, Colombia, and Costa Rica, experienced a growth in coffee exports by the end of 2012, in which Brazil always leads Colombia and Costa Rica.  
  
Brazil and Costa Rica began at fairly similar level of 12 and 15 consecutively. While Brazil saw an increase over the following 4 years with reaching 15 million kilograms, Costa Rica fell to 7 million kilograms in 2006. Subsequently, Brazil's exports rose gradually to 20 million kilograms, which was followed by a short fall to 17 million kilograms in the following two years. At the end of period, Brazil hit a high of its exports with 25 million kilograms. In contrast, Costa Rica experienced a steady increase per two years starting from 2006.  
  
Columbia, on the other hand, stood at 5 kilograms at first. Then, over the following 4 years, there was a gradual rise, in which Columbia surpassed Costa Rica with 12 million kilograms in 2006. Subsequently, it was followed by a sudden decrease in 2008, when its exports hit a low of 1.5 million kilograms. From 2008 to 2012, Columbia's pattern grew significantly to 15 million kilograms at the end of period
Mifta, I wish you had attached the chart that indicated the figures you presented. It is hard to judge the accuracy of your report without it. Kindly remember to include the illustration the next time you post an essay for review. Thanks. Now, on to the editing of your work:  
  
...in which Brazil always ~~leads~~ led Colombia and Costa Rica.  
  
... similar levelS of 12 and 15 ~~consecutively~~ RESPECTIVELY.  
... 4 years ~~with~~ BY reaching 15 million kilograms...  
... followed by a short fall ~~to~~ OF 17 million kilograms ~~in~~ DURING the ...  
...Brazil hit aN EXPORT high of ~~its exports with~~ 25 million  
...a steady increase ~~per~~ EVERY two years starting from 2006.  
  
...surpassed Costa Rica ~~with~~ BY 12 million  
... Columbia's pattern grew significantly to 15 million kilograms ~~at~~ BY the end of THE period.