dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
## the percentage of women and men in one Asian country who passed when they took their driver license test

  
  
The given bar chart compares data about the number of males and females living in an Asian country that qualified and obtained a driver license throught out the years from 1980 to 2010.  
  
Overall, most of the time, women had a higher possibility of passing their driving test, especially in 2000 when the percentage of females succeeded in the test reach the highest among other years and compared to that of males. Meanwhile, in 1980, the percentage of men passed their tests is the lowest data recorded.  
  
In 1980, about 49 percent of women taking the driving test managed to pass and that figure for men is nearly 29 percent which is 20 percent lower than women. The number of females who were able to accomplish the test continued to grow in the next ten years to 51 percent while that of males accounts for 30 percent.  
  
Approximately 69 percent of women succeeded in passing their driving test in 2000 which is also the peak among the years surveyed while that of men is nearly 50 percent, 19 percent lower. In 2010, the percentage of men that passed remained the same as the past 20 years while that of females decreased for 4 percent, ended up at 65 percent.  
  
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The habit of writing in run-on sentences is highly obvious in this essay. The writer tends to combine 2 ideas into 1 sentence rather than using the standard of 1 idea per sentence. That is how the information in the task 1 essay should be formatted for the summary overview. As for the trending paragraph, the writer wrote an analytical report paragraph rather than a trend that only gives the estimates of the information. It should not be as overly detailed as presented in this paragraph. The over detailing of information is also the reason why this reporting analysis runs 209 words instead of the regulation 200 words maximum.  
  
Throughout the essay, the writer runs the risk of creating confusing and difficult to follow analysis presentations. That is because he keeps on trying to write combination comparison paragraphs when the more efficient writing method is that of single image reporting per paragraph. That means, there should be a separate stand alone paragraph for each gender. The combination analysis being presented only in the overview / trending statement.
## To what extent should children have to follow rules?

  
  
Disciplinary measures using strict rules of behaviour play an significant role in raising children. However, the extent that children have to follow rules has been a complex problems ever. This following essay will discuss both advantages and disadvantages of following strict rules.  
  
First of all, tough habitats create responsible and respectful youngster. For instance, Asian parents usually teach their children to take the responsibility whenever they make a mistake, or children have to respect elders and tolerate youngers. Secondly, if kids are treated too leniently, they might be indolent and get out of hand for society's vices such as drugs, alcohol, gambling and so on. This finally leads to burden on the society.  
  
On the flip side, forcing youngsters to obey harsh rules also have some serious drawbacks. This can be mentioned as some children who tend to work against parents if the rules are tremendously trict as they want to be independent. This can cause much worse situation for the community, since adults would like to form a dutiful kid using those hard rules, meanwhile children oppose them. Moreover, a number of teenagers rely on the rules. This fundamentaly destroy their individuality and independence due to the fact that if there is no more rule, they do not know what to do or obey.  
  
To summarise, it is necessary to nurture a child with tough rules, but the rules should be strict in suitable cases. Adults should give children a sufficiently free environment to develope their personalities and self-determination.
While reading this essay, I came to realize that the with did not understand the writing instruction. The discussion is supposed to focus on the extent that children should follow rules. This is a modified extent essay in the sense that the writer has to agree with the provided opinion, only indicating his personal vielw as to how far or to what extent the child should do so. The writer altered this discussion instruction totally by providing an incorrect writing instruction. It was indicated that:  
  
This following essay will discuss both advantages and disadvantages of following strict rules.  
A total change from the original focus.  
  
By not following the writing instructions and changing the discussion target, the writer has not provided the expected response and can expect a failing score for thin task, regardless of awarded points in the minor scoring sections. He did not explain the extent of the need for children to follow the rules in certain situations. The examiner cannot ignore the fact that the author disregarded the provided discussion instructions in favor of how he wanted to discuss the essay. The writer cannot be rewarded for not following instructions.
## discuss both views and give your opinion

  
  
Observation in both developed and developing nations finds controversy on the issue of how government should invest financial funds in national transportation. There is an increasingly popular opinion claiming that financial support should go for building new railways, facilitating quick trains between different cities. At the same time, other people hold that financial effort should be focused on enhancing the current transportation in public. I incline that both of the standpoints deserve recognition, as they are both logically sound arguments.  
  
On the one hand, train in general, and fast train in specific, are becoming more and more crucial in today's society. In fact, modern people tend to commute from their home to the work office on a daily basis, and fast trains appear to be the most optimal choice for their moving pattern. For instance, it may take approximately 20 minutes to get to the desired destination, compares to 45 minutes if individuals choose public buses instead. Obviously, taking a fast train would be more beneficial in today's lifestyle, especially in densely populated cities with heavy traffic congestion. For this reason, investing a greater amount of money should be prudently considered and carefully applied to big cities.  
  
On the other hand, public transport such as buses is commonly advocated to be the topmost solution for reducing carbon dioxide emissions within the atmosphere. Indeed, upgrading public transport would encourage more people to use it, as well as abolish the number of vehicles on the street during rush hours. For example, in rural areas where the existence of public buses is limited, residents are suffering difficulties when moving from their place to other areas. Clearly, enhancing the current state of public transport in the countryside and rural areas would benefit the vast majority in the long run, especially in developing nations with a limited provision in terms of public transportation.  
  
To be conclusive, greater investment in terms of railways for fast trains is worth applying in densely populated cities, where citizens possess a high demand for commuting. Simultaneously, investment goes for upgrading current public transportation should be considered in rural areas, whose citizens are facing barriers when transporting between places.  
  
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358 words shows a lack of writing quality and incorrect task focus on the part of the exam taker. He is clearly influenced by the IELTS school of thought that subscribes to the idea that one will pass the test as long as he keeps on writing till the time runs out. This is the incorrect approach to responding to the task because such essays are more prone to C + C and GRA errors, as can be seen in this presentation.  
  
The prompt restatement and writers opinion paragraph alone already shows how the exam taker mishandled the writing task. He over extended the topic presentation and bordered on altering the presentation. In fact, his discussion presentation no longer followed the required comparative discussion between the public support for opinions and how he news it. The lack of 2 opinion analysis points per paragraph is a better scoring option when compared to only presenting the writer's opinion throughout.  
  
By constantly using commas to separate his sentence ideas, it is obvious that the writer can only write run on sentences. There are no real semple, complex, and compound sentence presentations. This is definitely a GRA problem. The writer can write long essays but is not capable of writing a proper essay that meets scoring requirements.
## Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home

  
  
In the recent years, an increasing number of people including grown-ups as well as kids have been working and studying online at home thanks to lower price and easier accessibility of technology. It has been widely argued that whether this brings out positive effects or the opposite ones. I firmly agree that it would result in a great deal of benefits rather than disadvantages.  
  
Firstly, one of the most significant merits time saving and money saving. Imagine if working online, a large amount of time and money for transportation, specifically petrol of gas could be economized. It also helps to avoid rush hour traffic jams and ease the flow. Furthermore, online students and employees or workers could gain time flexibility for revising, self studying, doing homework or finishing tasks since having plenty of time after work hours and school time. That is also suitable for workers who are parents in taking care of toddlers or infancies since they need a lot of attention.  
  
Another vital advantage is that it helps to reduce waste and therefore the environment condition would be improved. There is not necessary for going out to much so lower carbon emissons is produced and that leads to lower possibility of ozone layer depletion. Additionally, by using technology instead of papers or other stationeries that are not environmentally friendly, a significant effort is made to upgrade the ecosystem and to help make a positive change to the environment conditon.  
  
In conclusion, many people have been working online at home using advanced devices seems to be a beneficial innovation due to the stated reasons including time and money saving, time flexibility and environmental protection. Not only does it allow people to continue to work and study in a convenient space but it also comes along with a considerable number of other positive influences.
People references adults and children. It is an all encompassing reference that does not need specific mentions afterwards. Since the essay clearly separates the groups into adults and children, it is better not to use collective references, just to avoid potential confusion in word usage.  
  
The second sentence is improperly formed resulting in a confusing reference. A reference to wide arguments is the most likely cause of this problem. Removing the over statement actually makes for a clearer sentence idea. The writer also proceeded to deviate or change the discussion perspective from positive or negative to an advantage or disadvantage discussion The essay no longer met the task requirements at this point. The examiner cannot give this paragraph a passing early score anymore because of this mistake.  
  
Discussion paragraphs are not effectively used. The positive aspects should have separately focused on WFH and SFH As indicated by the original prompt. One paragraph containing a 5 sentence justification for each group would have been the more accurate discussion format.
## numbers of sports watched in the tv

  
  
The table shows how many people in millions watch sports on television. It shows the number of viewers for 4 sports by 4 countries  
America has biggest viewers in A countries with 25.2 millions. Tennis is more popular than other 3 sports: golf, motor racing, Athletics. Motor racing is not popular because only 12.7 millions people watch it. However, In Britain the number of people watch motor racing reach 6.4 million, account for more 50 percentage of viewer for motor racing. Golf is also popular: There are $11.2 millions viewer in America but it is not as popular in the other countries. There are 16.9 viewer who watch Athetics and it is quite same in 4 countries.  
  
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*Topic task 1*
Try to avoid underwriting words in the task 1 essay. Be mindful of the 150 minimum and 200 maximum word count. Any less, such as this 117 word count essay will cause an automatic failing score based on the word count percentage deduction. Failing the word count is a guaranteed way to not pass the test.  
  
Learn to provide the correct member of paragraphs based on the number of images provided. 3 paragraphs for a single image and up to 4 paragraphs for 2 or more images. A task 1 essay cannot be composed of 1 compressed paragraph alone.  
  
I find it best not to review this for content at the moment. There is no sense in doing that since there are already 2 task related reasons for the exam taker to fail. Write a proper essay next time. Then I will give a relevant review of the analysis presentation.
## Queen Mary Hospital development stages

  
  
The diagram depicts the area of Queen Mary Hospital at 3 different stages in its development: 1960, 1980 and 2020  
  
As can be observed from the maps, the Queen Mary Hospital changed swiftly between 1960 and 2000. One notable shift was the demolition of the shopping centre and the farmland.  
  
In the 20-year period from 1960, in the north-western corner of the map, a cancer centre and a pharmacy were erected with the removal of the shopping centre. Similar to that, the farmland, which originally stood in the north-western corner, was converted into a nursing school. On the eastern wing, the hospital and the car park remained intact during the given period.  
  
Turning to the year 2000, the hospital and the pharmacy stayed the same. Meanwhile, both the nursing school and the car park decreased in size and were moved eastward to make way for the expansion of the cancer centre.
Based on the number of maps prounded, this essay should have followed the 4 paragraph format. 1980 should have had its own analysis paragraph even if it was first used for a simple comparison to a more previous time. By the way, the image reference is not correct. What was presented is an illustrative map or a reference map. It is most definitely not a diagram.  
  
As can be observed  
Since the assumption for the task 1 essay is that it should be written in a descriptive analytical style, one of the violations a writer can make is to ask the reader to refer to an image directly or as an observation. Avoid such incorrect references in the future.
## learning attitude issue

  
  
Nowadays, a considerable number of recent graduates have a bad attitude toward studying. There are several elements that contribute to this issue, as well as potentially drastic effects on future career.  
  
The two main causes of present trends are as follows. First of all, the typical school curriculum is too rigorous. Not only do students participate in lessons, they also have to be flooded with a large amount of homework assigned. As a result, young people might feel exhausted after a lesson and be under pressure to deal with exams. If these things continue, they will be like a drop of water that makes young students give up everything which has been built before.  
  
The second cause is many young people think that they can pursue their career successfully without seriously studying. For instance, there are numerous accounts of well-known people who graduated from college but went on to achieve greatness, such as Bill Gates. This example influences many students to believe that success in life doesn't really necessarily depend on the theoretical knowledge one acquires in school. For this reason, young individuals can't complete a degree and can't jump at the chance to work for companies. In modern day and ages, almost all plants' require a variety of degrees to evaluate an applicant's level of competence. If you don't have at least one degree, young people will lose the opportunity to work in a new environment, develop their practical skills and learn from experience.  
  
In conclusion, there are a variety of factors that cause students to misunderstand in studying, and the consequences for their future professions can be extremely serious.
There is no doubt that this essay will receive a failing overall score based on the writer's misinterpretation and wrong opinion presentation for this task. This is a cause and solution essay which the writer did not acknowledge in his prompt restatement and led to an incorrect writer's opinion towards the end. The prompt indicates the need to understand why the students leave school with a negative impression of learning. That is the first discussion point. The second discussion point asks the writer to consider how this negative impression can be changed. What solutions can be applied to prevent the negative impression? Intead, the writer opted to discuss the effects of the negative image on the future of the student. Considered a discussion alteration, the essay no longer follows the task accuracy requirements of the original presentation and as such, cannot be given a passing task score.  
  
A review of the actual response paragraphs will also show that he only discussed the reasons for the negative impression, thus responding to only 1 of the 2 assessment tasks provided. Therefore, this is an incomplete essay that might receive some scores for the cause portion only. Leaving the essay with a still non-passing final score.
## level of satisfaction from Airlines services

  
  
The bar graph indicates/illustrates/presents the percentage of how the public in the US is satisfied with the job the country's major airlines doing in 1999,2000 and 2007.The table presents the results of the survey that people's satisfaction with multiple specific sorts of the flying experience during the same period of time. Overall ,the percentages of satisfaction with what the nation's major airlines was doing steadily increased ,while dissatisfaction gradually decreased. Apparently, the (sort of) courtesy of flight attendants ,however, always acquired the most satisfaction from the public ,which could be indicated by their highest percentage every year.  
  
As we can see from the bar graph, the percentage of people's satisfaction with nation's major airlines had a steady upward trend as a whole over time ,from 65% (in1 999) to 69% (in2000) to 72% (in 2007) ultimately. In contrast, the percentage of the dissatisfaction went down obviously from 32% to 29% to 24% , which might have been provoked by some improvements(explaination).On the other hand, it is obvious that people are rather satisfied with the manners of the flight attendants as it had been ranking first since 1999 to 2007 ,at 88% ,90% ,92% respectively.  
  
Moreover, the information of comfort of seats was absent in 1999 and 2000 whereas it was 47% in 2007 ,which was the lowest of all. The other three sorts of the table are courtesy of check-in/gate agents, price of tickets and schedules.They all had a rise on a whole ,which might have caused the whole satisfaction went up.
The bar graph indicates/illustrates/presents  
Pick on descriptive reference point. Do not use all 3. It creates a confusing statement for the reader. This is not a multiple choice vocabulary test for the reader. The writer should have a clear reference in mind when writing his statement. Such confusion in word usage shows both a lack of English vocabulary understanding ang a lack of grammar skills on the writer's part. This is definitely going to severely lower his preliminary scores.  
  
The writer is weak when it comes to creating connecting transitional sentences or phrases. In the summary, he was not able to effectively indicate that there is a relationship between the bar graph and table chart. there must be a connecting reference to the data from the two images as he introduces the transition from one image to the next.  
  
Apparently, the (sort of)  
What is this? What is the writer trying to imply? There should be no uncertainty in the report as this creates a blurred reference to the discussion trend. This is going to lead to a failing score for this paragraph.  
  
As we can see  
The reader cannot be referred to the image for one simple reason, the reader does not have a copy of the image to look at. Therefore, such a reference is futile and incorrect. The words of the writer should create an umistakable inidicator of what the images are referring to. The reader can never be asked to look at the image for information confirmation.
## daily intake of three different nutrients

  
  
The three pie charts provide information on the proportion of 3 different nutrients (sodium, saturated fat, and added sugar) in the daily meals of UK adults. Each of these nutrients thought to be harmful for people's health if consumed excessively.  
  
Overall, the two initial repasts of the day eaten by UK adults are comparatively healthy, while the dinner comprises the most amount of sodium and saturated fat. Biggest percentage of the added sugar is in the snack foods.  
  
The first two meals, breakfast and lunch, are considered to have relatively balanced division of nutrients. A breakfast of UK adults contains 13% of sodium and the same proportion of saturated fat and added sugar which is 16% of the total. For lunch, sodium and saturated fat consumption are accordingly 28% and 26%, whereas added sugar makes up a fifth of the total nutrients in the second meal of UK people.  
  
In contrast, dinner and snacks seem to have less balanced proportion of the nutrients. A dinner includes largest proportions of sodium and saturated fat (42% and 39% respectively). However, while snacking, UK adults consume the most added sugar (45%) and slightly more sodium and saturated fat than for breakfast.  
  
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Avoid the use of archaic English in these essays. The scores for vocabulary are based on the writer's ability to express himself using everyday English words. It is not a dictionary memorization exercise. The tone should be conversational and as such, eliminates the need for non-specific and generalized terms such as "repast". Rather, use the specific meal indicators, with alternate words used whenever possible. Skip the archaic language. It is not used in everyday English conversation. When words are mentioned in parenthesis, these are considered to be optional and unimportant by the reader. Do not develop that writing style for a task 1 essay. All of the information in this task, specially in the summary overview, are important and must be given their specific highlights instead of optional indicators.