dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
In this day and age  
Use of a memorized phrase will be a score deduction in the TA section. Avoid using place holder phrases as you were taught in your English classes. Learn to write at a college, rather than high school level, which is what the use of this phrase indicates(HS level writing).  
  
driven by myriad reasons and some adverse impacts could have on individuals.  
One idea per sentence. Seperate the response presentations. Do not use a run-on presentation as it will be deducted from your GRA score. Additionally, provide correct responses that used topic statements to represent your responses. That way, the thesis statement or discussion foundation requirement will be met. A non-definitive response tends to not be given a high score due to empty logic and thought presentations.  
  
There are two underlying reasons  
You specifically said "2 reasons". Review the paragraph, you only presented one reason. Therefore, the paragraph is under developed and not fully discussed based on the stated basis. Avoid referring to the number of discussion points so that when you forget or fail to present the second topic, your essay will not be given an under-developed score.  
  
The second reasoning paragraph has no completely developed explanation either. The writer wrote fast, but did not try to develop the explanation to a believable state. The main problem in this essay is the thought and explanation development.
**WRITING TASK 2:  
## People are consuming more and more sugar based drinks.

  
Why? What can be done to reduce sugary drink consumption?**  
  
These days, it is generally agreed that the consumption of sugar based drinks has been on the rise, specifically among young people. There are a number of reasons behind this tendency and several solutions should be adopted by both the government and individuals to improve the situation.  
  
To commence, there are two fundamental reasons that attribute to the increasing intake of sugary drinks. One reason that can be clearly seen is to maintain high concentration. It is true that consuming soft or energy drinks may help students and employees keep a conscious and clear mind during studying and working hours; however, extra digestion of these products can sometimes lead to weight related issues and other health problems. Furthermore, please alarming situation is also caused by the lack of awareness and knowledge of a healthy diet and lifestyle. Apparently, coupled with the dominance of fast food nowadays, sugar based beverages are consumed by a large number of people. To illustrate, it was once reported by the New York Times that almost 35% of US adults use see drinks every single day. This example highlights the fact that sugary drinks are becoming more and more common as a consequence of several aforementioned causes.  
  
This upward trend in soft drinks consumption has been largely studied and several viable solutions have been found. One approach to solve this problem involves the use of educational propagation campaigns. This means that certain campaigns of healthy dietary guidelines and suggestions should be given out by the National Public Health department and supported by the government and local authorities. Also, to rectify this problem, individuals need to joins hands in order to reduce the use of these harmful and nutrient-poor products and to adopt a healthy diet and lifestyle. Another way to overcome this issue is that the government should establish strict policies to impose high taxes on fast food, in particular sugary beverages. This is commonly believed to be one of the most effective way to minimize the consumption of those unhealthy products. This is because many choose to consume soft and energy drinks due to the affordable and cheap costs. Along with the increase in price, hopefully the high demand can decrease in the near future.  
  
To recapitulate, there are various reasons in which sugar based drinks are highly consumed and steps need to be taken to tackle this problem.
it is generally agreed that  
specifically among young people.  
several solutions should be adopted by both the government and individuals  
Incorrect. These are the writer's personal opinions, which are not referenced at all in the original prompt. By including these sections in your topic restatement, you will be scored down for adding your own information, unsupported by the original prompt. The topic representation is now incorrect. Never use specific references in your restatement. Keep it general in reference. No attestations, no additional information.  
  
There are a number of reasons behind this tendency and several solutions  
By using a non-responsive statement to address the questions provided, you have not provided a clear insight and opinion regarding the topic. The questions asked were to be used to create or establish your 2 paragraph discussion points. This is a summarized discussion presentation that is needed to allow the examiner to judge your English comprehension and logic skills. Answer the questions next time.  
  
Based on these errors, the student will not achieve a truly passing score for the first half of the essay. The first half has a tendency to fail, which will affect the remaining scoring considerations when added up to produce the final score.
## WRITING TASK 2 - TOPIC: EDUCATION

  
  
TOPIC: Some people say that children should go to school as young as possible, while others believe that children should go to school of at least 7 years old. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.  
  
It is argued that schooling from early age will be ideal for the children to develop themself, while some think that the primary education can be able to teach for the pupils who are at least 7 years old. While children can benefit from going to school as young as possible, I completely believe they should be over 7 years old to enroll to school.  
  
On the one hand, the younger the children, the better the education. Young kids can become accustomed to studying environment easily. As a young age, children is likely a paper that can absorb the new information and learn everything in a very fast and effective way, which exactly likes how they learn to craw or walk. Furthermore, since attending school earlier than the normal age, the pupils can finish their course sooner than average; meanwhile, they still enhance enough knowledge for their coming career in adult's life. At this point, having more time to explore the world or do whatever they want would be a positive side for early education.  
  
On the other hand, education is much more suitable for children who is at least 7 years old. The students at this age can be mature enough to learn advanced lessons from the school's curriculum. Some subjects require children higher conscious level to understand the theory from the teacher and also be aware of what they learn. In addition, 7-year-old pupils tend to have proper behaviors towards education such as self-discipled or independent. Without any kinds of punishment or reminder, these children can do self-study at home or at school to use their best period to learn as much as possible.  
  
In conclusion, early age seems to be a logical time for children to learn something, but without some benefits mentioned, they should be old enough to be schooling with a range of academic subjects.
While the prompt restatement and opinion is not grammatically accurate, it is still understandable enough for an ENL. Your thought process is clear even if the word choice is not. Your opinion is understandable even though it could use further clarity. This paragraph will not get a failing score, but it will not get a high score either due to the word choice and sentence structure situation.  
  
Please make sure to use the 3 reasoning paragraph next time. Ensure that you use the third person pronouns in the first two paragraphs that discuss the prompt provided public opinions. Then use the first person reference in the third to indicate your personal interest. The first 2 paragraphs need to explain the basis of the public opinion, what makes it right and (in transition) what makes it wrong. For your personal statement, explain why you support a particular public opinion. Base this on your personal knowledge and experience.  
  
As of now, the current 2 paragraph essay provides a general discussion presentation. It does not differentiate between the public and personal opinion. The default understanding will be that you presented only your personal opinion of both public statements, which is not how the essay should be formatted.
## pocket money for teens

  
  
I partly agree with the idea " It is beneficial for teenagers to receive pocket money from their parents". However, as a teenager, I don't think the parents should give their children pocket money on a regular basis.  
  
Considering to the positive aspects of the idea, when teenagers receive pocket money, they can use it for their own needs such as buying essential items, paying for many social activities, and other entertainment forms. In addition, when they encounter difficulties like their vehicle running out of petrol, they can overcome with pocket money receiving from their parents.  
  
Nevertheless, there also have many detrimental effects on their growing process. When the parents only give their children pocket money, they may become dependent. For instance, a teenage boy who receive pocket money every week or month, he will go through all his money with the thought that he can receive it for the next time. That his parents give him pocket money regularly makes their child become more and more dependent on the amount of money he receives. Moreover, having enough money to spend makes teenagers not understand the value of money. The way they waste their money on many trivial things can lead them into a materialistic life because they do not understand how difficult money is made. Reasons why teenagers become dependent appear clearer and clearer.  
  
In my opinion, teenagers should earn money on their own. They can do some part-time jobs in the restaurant, grocery stores, or some cafés where they can make money by their effort. This can help teenagers realize the value of money, so they will spend their money more properly. What is more, when they do the part-time jobs, they can improve many essential skills for their future like hard or soft skills. They can get more experience from many situations they go through.  
  
In conclusion, I quite disagree with the idea above, teenagers should earn money on their own and try to experience more, so they can become more independent.
There are several problems with your opening statement. The first, is that you used a direct cut and paste of the topic provided in the original presentation This will result in an automatic TA failing score as you cannot present an original thought based on the provided information. Cut and paste of the original will ensure an automatic failing score for the overall presentation, even as you are given minimal scores in the other sections later on.  
  
You are also not providing a clear opinion regarding the topic. You both agree and disagree with the given statement. Resulting in another failing TA score due to the writer not having a clear opinion pertaining to the given discussion instruction. At this point, you cannot expect to pass the test at all and it will be useless for me to continue reviewing your work. There is absolutely no way you will achieve a passing score.
## tuition fee of college or university

  
  
***IELTS WRITING Task 2: In some countries, students pay their college or university fees, while in some others, the government pays for them. Do you think the advantages that the government pays the money outweigh the disadvantages?***  
  
*In some nations, students have to allocate money for the tuition fee of college or university, while some governments spend money for their students' study careers. In my view, the government should make careful decisions when offering financial aid to students as this phenomenon's drawbacks outweigh its benefits.  
  
It is undeniable that providing students with need-based scholarships creates a bunch of opportunities for students who cannot afford the exorbitant tuition cost. For instance, many states in the USA give financial support to poor citizens who are willing to pursue their careers in public universities. As a result, all students have their own chances to access with formal education in college or universities. However, it seems that the more money supply, the more laziness and dependence occurs on some students as they are fully ensured about their academics career by the governments. Those will become oblivious in their study or may spend the financial aid on other purposes. As a result, the authority may have wasted their budget investing in the wrong individuals.  
  
Furthermore, governments' aids are not quite flexible, hence, they might not meet the students' requirements. For instance, Vietnam's national scholarship is stable at a thousand dollars per year which cannot fulfill the needs of every individual due to the inconstant cost of tuition fee as well as the basic studying materials of different majors.  
  
In conclusion, some governments budget for the tuition fee of their students while in others countries, students have to pay it themselves. In my view, governments ought not to give financial aid to their students as the disadvantages overwhelm the opposite aspect.*
a bunch of opportunities  
This is highly non-academic in reference. Avoid using too much everyday English words that are informal in presentation. Remember that you are still writing an academic paper, even if it is conversational in tone. Respect for the academician must be evident at all times.  
  
pursue their careers  
Do not confuse studies with a career. Studies refers to the learning of a student aligned with his interests. A career is an occupation or profession. You have been regularly mixing up these two references in your current presentation. The misuse of these words will definitely pull down your LR score.  
  
Furthermore  
This is a run on sentence representation. Your thoughts are tied together but not properly explained nor justified in a convincing manner. There are no proper and believable examples provided to support the claims made. Try to avoid compressed statements for clarity purposes.
## price of flight tickets in Australia

  
  
The charts below give information about the price of tickets on one airline between Sydney and Melbourne, Australia, over a two-week period in 2013.  
  
The given chart highlight the data of in round tickets for flights back and forth between Melbourne and Sydney in Australia over a couple of week in 2013.  
  
Generally, what stands out from the graph is that ticket prices fluctuated between days of the week, which were noticeably high on Monday and the weekend, being significantly lower in the middle days of the week.  
  
Regarding the figure of the airline ticket price in week 1, of which the Sydney-to-Melbourne ticket on Monday rocket the pinnacle of 80$, while in the weekday, the cost leveled down to be approximately 30$ and 40$ and then being dramatically raised in the weekday. In contrast, the round-trip ticket on Friday, surpassed Monday's to become the most costly ticket in week 2, recorded the highest figure of roughly 80$was on Friday, the Monday's one was ranked to be the second.  
  
In terms of the ticket price in the flight trip in week 2, they showed the similarity when the weekend days tickets price seem to be higher more than those on the other days, of which, the Sydney-to-Melbourne ticket on Friday was higher than the flight-back ticket about 15$. While the middle days' price did not show any clear price difference, which constantly accounted for the lowest cost, Monday's day flight fare in Melbourne-to-Sydney flight showed a $20 decrease in the price of Monday tickets  
  
*
Two things are missing from your summary overview. The first is the number of charts. The second, is the type of charts. You also do not identify that the infomation presented is for both ways, using the same start and end points in reverse formation for each image. Identifying the image by destination would have helped with that clarification. You are also using a singular reference platform for what should be plural indicators since there are 2 images presented. Be consistent. These must be discussed in plural form due to the non-singular number of images.  
  
Monday's  
You do not need an apostrophe here because you are not indicating a possession of an item. The apostrophe version is used only when indicating ownership.  
  
In terms of the ticket price in the flight trip in week 2,  
This is confusing. You are not grouping the discussions properly. You should be compelting each comaprison discussion for the charts in single paragraphs. One paragraph for week 1 and 2, based on destination each. I find the information presentation confusing to follow and difficult to connect with either of the given images.
As a basic rule, you must not begin the discussion of your opinion in the prompt restatement + opinion paragraph. This is only a 3 sentence paragraph comprised of:  
  
- Discussion topic  
- Reasoning basis  
- Writer opinion + thesis statement  
  
The first 2 sentences in your paragraph are personal opinion presentations that have altered the prompt discussion and its actual reasoning. So your essay will be deemed task inaccurate in terms of restatement, regardless of how proper your opinion statement is.  
  
Your prompt restatement will be the main cause of the failure of your essay. It fails to properly restate 2 things before your personal opinion:  
- Public opinion 1  
- Public opinion 2  
  
If you compare the original statement with your representation, you will see that you failed to recreate the statement based on the supplied reason. So the essay cannot move forward and be scored in a manner that will allow it to pass. If your restatement is not attuned with the original, then the essay has already failed a major part of the requirements for scoring.
## The value of four major world money market

  
  
**The chart shows the end of year value for four major international money market indices in 2005, 2006, 2007 and 2008. [FTSE100= UK Market Index, Dow Jones= US Market Index, KOSPI= Korean Market Index, CAC= French market Index]  
  
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.**  
  
The chart illustrates the final annual worth of four major world money market indices from 2005 to 2008. Overall, while Dow Jones, FTSE 100, KOSPI, CAC 40 escalated in the first three years, they reduced largely in the final year. We can also see that the US always took the lead, followed by the UK, France, and Korea.  
  
From the beginning, Dow Jones rose sharply from 11000 index to more than 12000 index in just a year until reaching its peak in 2007 with nearly 14000 index. However, in 2008, the US market plummeted dramatically (down to only 9000 index), but still was at number one spot. The same thing happened with the UK : in the first three years, FTSE 100 price ascended steadily (from 5000 index to 6000 index); nevertheless, also in the last year, FTSE 100 merit decreased strikingly to approximately 3900 index.  
  
CAC 40 went through a synonymous trend compared to the first two nations. From the start, the French Market Index remained the same value at about 6000 index in 2005, 2006, 2007. Notwithstandingly, their price dropped down almost 2000 points next year. Finally, even though Korea stayed at the last position over the period, their value dwindled the least. Indeed, in the first, second and third years, the Korean Market Index maintained its steadiness at about 2000 index, but fell down to about 1500 in the final year.  
  
*
The chart illustrates  
Your summary is well developed. It properly enumerates the markets involved and the trends that the collective comparison shows. It is really a well analyzed summary. However, it falls short of a proper image identification. Yes, the presented image is a chart. However, you need to be specific about the type of chart because you could have been presented with a pie chart, a bar chart, or a columnar chart. The specific image identification helps should that you truly analyzed the image and that you are familiar with measurement images. Good job, but it could have been better.  
  
in just a year  
ear  
You may as well mention the starting year since it was mentioned in the image. If you see an identifier for some information in the image, then use that specific reference in your statement because it will be the starting point for clarity in your cited presentation. Remember, you mentioned specific years later on in the paragraphs. Be consistent in your information citation to help with the C+C score of your essay.
## Temperature and Daylight Hours

  
The two tables depict the temperatures and duration from sunrise to dusk in London, the UK, and Sydney, Australia, during the same week in the final month of the year 2018. Overall, it is clear that London and Britain were noticeably colder than the others, whereas Sydney, Australia witnessed much longer daylight hours.  
  
According to the tables, it is apparent that regarding the temperatures of two urban areas, London and England had the joint-lowest max temperature, ranging between 9 and 13 units of temperature at its peak, and it plunges to 3 centigrade at its low each day. Moreover, the lion's share of the temperature of Sydney and Australia was substantially higher, with the maximum varying between 26-31 degrees and the minimum ranging from 17 to 19 centigrade. In contrast, the hottest day in Sydney and Australia was on Sunday, while Saturday was the hottest day in London and the United Kingdom.  
  
As for the daylights period, the new day in Sydney and Australia came at 05:45 a.m except for Sunday when it began 1 minute later and was over between 20:06 and 20:07. However, London and the UK were the nations that received scant daylight hours, with the sun rising from 08:05 a.m to 08:06 a.m and setting at 15:59 each of the recorded days. Additionally, the last day of the week had the highest number of daylight hours in all cities.  
  
*
during the same week in the final month of the year  
Make it clear that the measurement was done during the same year for the same last 3 days of the year. It is not the same week during the final month of that year. You need to clarify that statement because of the chart reference to specific dates. Name the dates in the summary. You can gloss over it in the body, but not in the summary.  
  
temperatures of two urban areas  
Please review the chart. There is no specification for 2 urban areas. Only country locations. Your information reference misleads the reader and will result in misinformation being delivered. Yes, it is tantamount to Fake News. Do not add references that will not be supported by a review of the image. Your information report has just become highly inaccurate in terms of meeting task requirements.