dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
Thanks for your comments. Believe it or not, I was with 100% confidence when uploading the essay and without knowing that I was off topic or making whatever mistake until someone point this out (as well as other mistakes I had).  
  
When @Linh Dieu spotted that out I just simply reply to it. This is just to show my appreciation on someone actually taking their valuable time to read and giving comments on my essay. However, it doesn't mean I was posting an essay that I knew it was off topic in the beginning.  
  
To be true, I am not intend to waste anyone's (and your's, in particular) time.  
  
In fact I agree with you that I have to work hard on better understanding with the questions and their task respond(s), and most importantly, to preserve enough time for proofreading on my final works. Thanks for your kind enough to leave me comments even you doubted I was trying to playing around.  
  
Understanding of the question and task respond as well as proofreading are both the important parts for the IELTS writing test (or any other tasks/tests/jobs/whatever in the world) BUT I just fail to respond those two elemental but essential tasks... I really really like to say thanks for you to point this out as I am sure this help strengthen my memory to avoid (with finger cross) that from happening again.  
  
Sometimes (most of the time) I found frustrated when I knew that the mistakes I made, especially when I found those were the mistakes that I made in the past but still appear in present... well, it is true that to spot the faulty on someone else is easy while to avoiding it happening to myself it really hard... keep learning still.  
  
Anyway, please do not treat me as a time waster, I just one of the careless (unqualified) writer struggled in the brandscore of the IELTS world.
@smally01, do not stress yourself out over the mistakes you made. All you have to do is to take some time to read your essay with the advice that you received. There are some suggestions I would like to share.  
  
When it comes to a topic, you have to read twice to ensure you are not misinterpreting the statement.  
  
What are .....and how people can be encouraged to ......?  
  
*Notice that how the question is asking you, how people can be encouraged...*  
*And your response is taxing the citizens as you believe that would be an encouragement to do so?*  
  
There are several reasons for people to ignore thus the warnings....  
*If you mention that you will offer more than one reason, then you should do it in your body paragraphs.*  
  
It is understandable ...... and the prime reason would be..... even they know thus the activity .... to the environment.  
*Try not to have such a long sentence as you might not be able to identify if you have made any grammatical mistakes in it, such as a run-on sentence. In the actual exam, you might have very little time to proofread your essay so keep the sentences short and concise would be better in comparison.*  
  
...help to generate the ~~deterrence~~ effect ...  
*deterrent adj.*  
  
... emission of harmful gases ~~will be decreased.~~
Well, I can see that people had pointed out that your essay doesn't focus on what it should and you also have lots of grammatical mistakes. Therefore, I just want to give some advices:  
  
- Use short sentences instead of one long sentence. Because when you use a sentence like that, one mistake can make your whole sentence sound illogical. You still can use complex sentences, but try to make them shorter and contain less idea.  
  
- Improve your grammar, your score will be very low because of all of those grammatical mistakes. Find lessons about each of them on Google, there are a lot.  
  
- Read more essays and don't be shy to use your dictionary. Try to understand meaning of the words in English and how to use them.
## report on weather changes

  
  
I am preparing my IELTS. Could anyone help me to correct my writing and give me some suggestions?? 1 essay at a time.  
  
**Task 1 Question  
The diagram below shows how the Australian Bureau of Meteorology collects up-to-the-minute information on the weather in order to produce reliable forecasts. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.**  
  
This is a report regarding to how the Australian Bureau of Meteorology collects immediate information on the weather so as to make reliable forecasts.  
  
The weather information would first be collected via several facilities, radar for example. After analysis and forecasting, the Bureau would prepare and release the broadcast through different media.  
  
First of all, for the information collected by satellite, it would be analyzed with satellite photo. Drifting buoy is another method for the Bureau to collect weather information as well. The information collected in this way would be forecasted and interpreted by making synoptic chart. The last access to get the information is radar, which is able to exchange information collected by satellite and drifting buoy. Radar screen is in turn contributed to analysis and forecasting process.  
  
After analyzing and forecasting, information would be prepared for broadcast with computer. The weather information would be broadcasted in three main ways, which are via recorded announcement, radio and reported by newsrecorders.
I am improving my writing skills to 6.5. So I wrote this essay and I hope to receive comments about it. Thanks for all the advices!  
  
## Internet is like a magic box

  
  
***Some people say that the internet is making the world smaller by bringing people together. To what extent do you agree that the internet is making it easier for people to communicate with one another?***  
  
Internet is like a magic box because it has everything you want. It is also believed that the internet is making the world smaller by bringing people together. I agree that communication among people is much easier now because of this wonderful tool.  
  
In the past, when we have not had the internet yet, we kept in touch with family, friends and so on by letters or landline phones. Because of that, we had wasted lots of time just to write letters, send them and then receive the replies. However, at the moment, sending messages only takes a few second, either it can be form of an email or messages of some applications of the smartphone. We can send and receive messages straightway. Mentioning to landline phones, we all know how inconvenient they are because we can't bring them with us out of the house, they are not hand-carried. In addition, we also have to pay for telephone charges and can only talk to one person at a time. It makes the internet even better, communication has become cheaper, more convenient and more effective.  
  
As it is a reality that benefits and limitations are like both sides of a coin, which usually run parallel. Therefore, like other things, the internet also has downsides. People are facing a lot of health problems like myopic, scoliosis, migrane and so on. Today's teenagers tend to spend their time on the internet than do other physical activities, it is why the number of teenagers suffering from the above diseases is increasing.  
  
To conclude, the internet has become an integral part of our lives, especially in communication. However, we should control the amount of time we spend on the internet to avoid diseases.
Hi @nam1022002, hope that I can help.  
  
From the question you posted it seem that it is a kind of agree/disagree question. So I guess it would expecting you to choose either side with reasoning and supporting statement. From your introduction paragraph you already stated your POV so I guess you do not have to say anything bad on the internet if you are "agree" the internet make communication between people earlier than ever.  
  
Now you essay seems the one that to discuss both the views, which I am afraid it might affect your scoring on the Task Respond.
Nguyen, this is an extent essay so you cannot simply agree with the statement. This is not a yes or no question. You need to indicate an emotion such as "completely, totally, strongly, or partially" to indicate the "extent" of your (dis)agreement. Now, while you seem to indicate an agreement with the statement, even without the extent part properly responded to, your overall discussion in the body of paragraphs is faulty.  
  
Since you did not indicate a "partial" agreement with the statement, you did not leave any opportunity for you to discuss both points of view in the essay. Only a "partial" agreement / disagreement with the statement can discuss both points of view. When you indicate a one sided response to the discussion question, then the overall defensive / supporting discussion should be solely from one point of view. The point of view that you agreed to support in the statement.  
  
That said, your essay will be considered only partially responsive to the task and will receive a score only for the portions that support your point of view in the essay. That will be bad for your overall score because you will not be scoring highly in the overall portion due to additional errors in the remaining scoring considerations.
## keep art and music, exclude physical education

  
  
*Direction: For this task, you will write an essay in response to a question that asks you to state, explain, and support your opinion on an issue. Typically, an effective essay will contain a minimum of 300 words. The quality of your writing includes the development of your ideas, the organization of your essay, and the quality and accuracy of the language you use to express your ideas. You have 30 minutes to plan and complete your essay.*  
  
**Topic: When schools do not have enough funding or teachers, some people think physical education classes should be cut, while others believe that courses in art and music should be eliminated first. Which do you think is preferable, and why?**  
  
Kindly rate me in between 0-5. My response is given below:  
  
No doubt school education is important to a student's life and it actually shapes the future of the student. Physical education, art and music courses are not excluded from this list of education. However, personally, I believe physical education is not as important as art and music courses especially when schools lack resources like funding and teachers. Hence, physical education can be eliminated first if the corresponding school struggles to provide all of the courses mentioned above.  
  
In every aspect of our life we have limited resources but unlimited problems. In such case we consider priority list to reach our goal. We choose the most important task first then we consider the least important tasks. For example, if I have 1 dollar and I have to choose between food and recreation, I would definitely choose food as becase it is at the top of my priority list. Similarly, between physical education and art and music classes, physical education is the least important to me since this is something that I can do by myself. On the other hand, art and music is something that I can't understand without the help of teachers. So, If my school lacks funding and teachers, I would definitely want them to include art and music courses first not physical education.  
  
Moreover, art and music has more practical impact on a student's social life in comparison to physical education. From history we can see that artists and musicians can influence the society in a greater extent. They can depict the society in their works creatively that can touche millions of people at a time. Even they can contribute to society by changing its views through their brilliant works. On the other hand, physical education mostly concentrates on the development of single individual. Therefore, art and music courses will be more beneficial for the society in a greater extent.  
  
In conclusion, for the larger betterment of the society, schools that lacks financial or personnel resources should keep the art and music courses in their list first and may exclude the physical education.
James, due to the totally unrelated discussion of tasks in the second paragraph, you really confused the reader. That portion had irrelevant specifics which caused a questionable response to the task. As far as I am concerned, that paragraph focused too much on the unrelated food discussion when you could have used the actual prompt topic for the discussion, thus keeping on track and not including useless presentations that strayed from the topic of discussion. That is why I had to score this essay as a 1.  
  
Paragraphs 1 and 3 were definitely helpful to the discussion as based on the original prompt presentation and were really informative. However, your paragraphs have sentence structure and spelling errors, as well as wrong vocabulary usage. All of these factors added to the reasons why I could not score you higher based on the overall consideration for your essay.
## every person have the right to express his opinion

  
  
*Direction: For this task, you will write an essay in response to a question that asks you to state, explain, and support your opinion on an issue. Typically, an effective essay will contain a minimum of 300 words. The quality of your writing includes the development of your ideas, the organization of your essay, and the quality and accuracy of the language you use to express your ideas. You have 30 minutes to plan and complete your essay.*  
  
**Topic: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Children over the age of 15 should be allowed to vote. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.**  
  
Kindly rate me in between 0-5. My response is given below:  
  
From democratic point of view, every person have the right to express his opinion. The best way to express opinion in such a government system is to enfranchise. Children who are above 15 years of age are not beyond this right. Personally, I believe that people who has the sense of right or wrong and has the ability to take decision even if he is below 18 (typical age for being considered as adult) but above 15 years of age should have the right to vote.  
  
Eventhough some people might argue saying people who are below 18 years are still termed 'children' and hence, they should not be allowed to vote, I think as because they are termed so-called 'children' they can't be deprived of their rights of voting. The term 'children' and 'adult' is defined not only on the basis of biological aspect but also considering the social aspect. Now, the aspect of society is again depends on so many things and that's why society varies around the world. If I just focus on the biological perspective, a person who is capable of reproduction can be termed as 'adult'. In most of the cases people including both male and female achieve this ability of reproduction by the age of 15. So, at this age they are adult enough and therefore, they have the right to express their opinion through voting.  
  
Moreover, voting means expressing one's choice and taking his or her own decision. I don't think age can be a limiting factor in taking decision. Sometimes it can be seen that older people are taking wrong decision, on the other hand, a very younger people whom we call 'children' are taking right decision. So, if so-called 'children' can take decision, she or he has all the rights to express it in terms of casting vote.  
  
In conclusion, voting is a right of a citizen that depends on the ability of taking decision. One who has achieved this ability, regardless of age, she or he should be awarded the right to vote and express their opinion.
James, based on your work for this essay prompt, I believe the best score you can get is a 2. That rating is based on the lack of clarity in your explanation, confusing opinions, and irrelevant examples. You never did say whether or not you agreed or disagreed with the statement indicated in the prompt. While you did say that you believe anyone over the age of 15 should be allowed to vote, you also said in your actual discussion that people at the age of 15 should be given the right to vote since you implied that they can already get pregnant at that age. You should have clearly stated "I disagree/agree with the given statement". Unfortunately, your response was neither here nor there in position. So your essay ended up without a real discussion point in the presentation.  
  
You also have a misconception that "children" fall under the age of 15. A 15 year old is a teenager, a young adult. Definitely not a "child" so your discussion that insists a 15 year old is a child is flawed and unacceptable in this discussion. A 15 year old is already allowed to make simple to semi-complex decisions for themselves. So the question becomes, can a 15 year old be allowed to vote ? Do you think he understands the reasons why he has to vote and how to choose the side of the discussion or candidate to support?  
  
You show a lack of familiarity with English reference terms in this instance, which means you did not really understand the question and its applicability to a discussion either. These are the reasons why I could not score you higher than a 2 for this essay discussion.
## the story about a frog and a mouse

  
  
There was a frog who used to live in a beautiful pond. He was proud of his graceful movements and he loved jumping on the leaves, which were floating on the water. The frog was always being watched by a mouse who enjoyed observing his high jumps.  
  
The mouse wanted to become the frog's friend. Therefore, he waited for him to hop out of his pond to talk about it. As soon as the frog jumped out of the pond, the mouse asked him to be friends and he liked the idea and agreed right away. The mouse offered his support to the frog and expressed his willingness to do anything for him.  
  
The mouse asked the frog if he would like to eat wheat. "Yes, that would be great" the frog replayed. "I know a place which is full of wheat, let's go" the mouse said. They entered into a hole which led them to a big place where there are huge amounts of wheat. The frog liked the taste of wheat and he kept eating until he felt that his stomach would explode.  
  
The frog said "we will be friends forever if you fed me everyday". The mouse gladly agreed and they decided to tie their legs with a string as a symbol of friendship.  
  
While they were playing, a squirrel saw them. As he approached them, he was surprised at their reckless action, how a frog and a mouse would always stay together with this string tied around their feet! The squirrel tried to explain to them that they have different natures and what they have done would put their lives in danger but they didn't listen to him.  
  
They went to the pond and the frog asked the mouse to dive into water but the mouse told him that he had never been in water before. The frog encouraged him to give it a try, just as he did with eating the wheat.  
  
The mouse was terrified of water, but the frog assured him that he will help him to become a good diver. As an attempt to teach the mouse, the frog dived deep into the pond, and didn't notice that he was dragging the hapless mouse behind him. the mouse tried to free himself but couldn't, and soon drowned.  
  
When the squirrel arrived at the pond, he saw the mouse floating on its surface. He told the frog about the mistake he had made with his friend. The frog felt guilty because he did not respect his friend's nature.
Salsabeel, if this is only for English language writing practice, then I would say that you did a good job. The story was engaging and informative. It was almost like reading a fable except that the lesson at the end was not as clear as it should be due to lack of creative explanation coming from the squirrel and regret from the mouse.  
  
The story could use more of a creative flair in its presentation. As a reader, I would be better engaged in the narrative if you had transported me to the setting the story was taking place in. If I become part of the story as an observer, almost at the status of the squirrel, then I would be more emotionally involved in the story. Case in point, when you were depicting the death of the mouse, I wasn't really involved in it. I did not feel like I had to care that the mouse was being drowned at that point. Maybe because the relationship between the mouse and the frog felt rushed and without a strong foundation.  
  
Anyway, those are just my observations. I hope you can apply some of it to your revision if you are still in the draft writing process.
Would you give me a score for this essay? Thank you all.  
**## The unlimited use of cars may cause many problems.

  
What are those problems, should we discourage people to use cars?**  
  
The popular trend of using modern vehicles in recent decades has triggered a lot of controversial questions in public about car emission damage and whether we should oppose this tendency. My essay below will indicate problems stated above, but it not means that they are too hazardous to prevent people taking advantages of cars.  
  
On the one hand, it cannot be denied that air pollution is one of the most remarkable concerns of our contaminated environment, which is set off by modern engine's exhaust. Cars emit greenhouse gas and carbon dioxide which increase the risk of air pollution and global warming. Besides, cars' exhaust can easily impregnate people's respiratory systems, impair their health and cause breath-and-lung-related diseases.  
  
Futhermore, the unrestricted consumption of cars is equivalent to noise pollution. Especially who live nearby central cities like New York, London, etc will always be bothered by horn and traffic jam noise which do harms to people's daily activities and their spirits. For instance, if your house or your office closing to a crowded road, all the times you must stand the unwanted noise in both working and leisure times but can not do anything to stop this.  
  
On the other hand, the more modern world becomes, the more faster-demanded transportation appears. Human's life circles make them find less convenient and slower when moving by public means. It is impossible to seek out a unique service suiting everyone's demands and matching their needs in all kind of urgencies like travels, meetings and medical examinations. It is worth noting that using cars is a person's deserved right to enjoy a self-serving life accordingly any prevention decree on possessing modern vehicles can trigger more controversial responses.  
  
Viewed from different sides, multiple problems in both air and noise pollutions are stem from the overused utilization of cars, but the precise method to alleviate them is not as strict as the one mentioned. In lieu of that, we can either increase taxes on cars which do not comply with the rule of standard