dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
There are actually 2 graph images to be identified in this image. In no particular order, the presentation contains a basic line graph and a dotted line graph. It is important to differentiate between the two images due to the measurement references being made. The line graph is continuous, while the dotted line graph is a broken measurement that can be referred to in the same manner when describing it in the reporting and analysis paragraphs.  
  
A more accurate summary overview should have contained 2 sentences that referred to (1) The type of image and (2) an enumeration of the listing attached to it. This is to help create a more solid reference foundation when the trending paragraph is explained to the reader. This is necessary since the premise of a sentence is to include related information instead of compressed information. A single reference per sentence will score better than a long single summary sentence.  
  
The taxi reference is under analyzed and reported. There are only 2 sentences in that presentation, which means it does not meet the 3 sentence minimum standard for the paragraphs in the task. You missed out on a comparative analysis sentence when it came to the cross-information relating to the taxis and trucks between the years of 1970 and 1980. That is a highly relevant comparison, a small but important one, to make in the paragraph.  
  
Overall, this is a pretty good attempt at a task 1 essay. It should receive a passing score. Unfortunately, you will have to contact me privately for detailed scoring considerations but I can assure you that you did good enough to receive at least a base passing score.
Hi. I'm glad to have someone review my writing. Please give me some feedback and thank you!  
  
## sales of jeans graph

  
  
The graph depicts the predicted sales of jeans in Turkey of Mango Co and Jack & Jones Co company in the following year. Transactions are measured in thousands of jean pairs.  
  
Generally speaking, there will be an upward trend in the sale of jeans. Furthermore, Turkish customers are predicted to buy more jeans from Jack & Jones Co than from Mango Co.  
  
Regarding Mango Co, their sale amount in the first four months is predicted to start low around 100 thousand pairs. Following this, it will increase gradually until reach a plateau of 500 thousand jeans from August to November, and eventually, at the end of the period, peak at around 600 thousand pairs in December.  
  
Switching to Jack & Jones Co, their sales numbers are predicted to be higher than that of Mango Co, with the only exception in two months July and August. Starting the period with a high amount of sales of more than 400 thousand pairs of jeans, Jack & Jones company then is expected to see a sharp decrease in their sales figures by 200 thousand jeans in February. After that, the forecasted sales will bounce back gradually at 400 thousand pairs in June and level off at this amount till August. Finally, the sale amount will increase considerably and reach a peak of about 900 thousand pairs at the end of the period.  
  
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The essay is too long to be completed within 20 minutes. Aim to write only 200 words as this is the ideal number that will allow for a quick and almost complete analysis within the time frame provided.  
  
The graph  
Always aim for clarity in your descriptions. Since this is a combined columnar and line graph, describe it as it is. That is because the summary representation is needed to help the reader gain a better and more solid imaginative understanding of the the said information source. Saying it is a graph is accurate, but a columnar line graph would be the most accurate and better scoring of the two descriptions.  
  
Mango Co  
Oops. You were remiss in writing the abbreviated word for company. Never forget to place a period at the end of the shortened spelling. You may look up how to abbreviate or shorten words using the correct punctuation marks online.  
  
The second paragraph became too short. It requires at least 3 sentences in the analysis paragraphs. The second sentence should have been divided with a third sentence representing the second thought that was accidentally merged into the previous 2nd sentence.  
  
You have written an excellent first effort. It is clear and very much along the lines of a comparative analysis report. Save for these 2 problems that I found, I believe that you could receive a passing score for the task next time. Just make sure to correct the over writing and run-on problems then.
## The line chart report

  
  
The line chart given denotes the proportion of people settled in Australia who were given birth in Asia, the UK, and other regions.  
In general, the percentage of people living in Australia who were born in Asia and other areas saw an upward trend. On the other hand, there was a dramatically fall in the percentage of that people who were born in the UK.  
  
It is worth noticing that the proportion of people who were born in Asia increased rapidly over the years, from 1% in 1976 to 15% in 2011. Meanwhile, the percentage of Australian who were born in other sectors fluctuated. It droped by 3% from 1976 to 1986, after which there was a quickly improvement of 6% in the percentage in 2006. However, this figure could not remain untill 2011, but went into free-fall slightly 2% compared to 2006.  
  
On the contrary, the percentage of people who were born in the UK faced a downward trend, specifically, from 13% , it decreased 8% on a 35-year period, beginning in 1976.
who were given birth  
This does not make sense, the people could have been born in Asia, their parents gave birth in Asia, but neither were ever "given birth" in Asia. Incorrect grammar / word usage will result in lowered LR and GRA scores at the very start of the scoring considerations. That is not a good sign. Failing these 2 sections so early in the presentation could result in an overall failing score in the end.  
  
born in Asia and other areas  
Increase the task accuracy by completing the graph listing of countries. That way it makes it easier for the reader to track the information you will be discussing in the body. They will be on the lookout for further discussion points. Doing so will also increase the TA score of the trending statement based on the summary requirements.  
  
It droped  
Remember to spellcheck, review, and revise the essay prior to submission. Incorrectly spelled words will be deducted from your LR score and could be a GRA deduction due to confusing word references.  
  
Avoid writing single sentence paragraphs. Technically, that will not be considered a paragraph anyway since a paragraph is always composed of at least 3 words. A single sentence is a statement. It will not return the same scores as a completely developed paragraph.
## formal complaint to retaurant

  
  
You have eaten at a restaurant and it was such a terrible experience that you have decided to inform the manager by letter of what happened and that you want your money back. Things to include:  
  
- Facts. You need to be concise but explain what happened.  
- Polite. No one responds to insults.  
- Outline what you wish from this. What do you want to happen?  
- Firmness. You want to be taken seriously.  
  
Dear Sir or Madam,  
  
I am writing this letter regarding the terrible experience that I had in your restaurant last Saturday.  
  
Last Saturday, my family and I went to your restaurant for dinner. At first, I was pleased by your welcoming crew members and speedy services. Everything went well until they served me the wrong doneness of the steak. I have ordered a well-done wagyu steak that day, but they served me rare wagyu steak. It was too raw for me to eat. In addition, I could see the blood coming out from the meat.  
  
Therefore, I would appreciate if you could refund the cost of the meal to me and speak to your kitchen crews about this matter. Outback steakhouse is one of my favorite restaurant for dining, I hope action will be taken by your side in order to avoid the case to be happened again.  
  
I hope that my request does not cause you any convenience.  
  
Your faithfully,  
Jayden Lee
The discussion paragraphs are not complete. There should still be 4 paragraphs in this presentation because of the following discussion reasons:  
  
1. A proper introduction that indicates the name of the restaurant, the date, and the time of the visit. You may also include the name of the host and waiter assigned if you would like to.  
  
2. A summary of the overall meal must be presented. Discuss how everyone enjoyed their order and how please they were with the staff service.  
  
3. The third paragraph should indicate what the problem with your food was. In your current version, you do not indicate having tried to resolve the issue at the table by calling the attention of the server and host. Your reason for filing the complaint should be on the basis of their inaction regarding the situation. Why did they refuse to change the food after you informed them of the wrong order? What solutions did they suggest if any?  
  
4. After explaining the events that occurred, then you can demand that only the portion of your meal be refunded. You cannot as for a full refund as there were no problems with the other orders. Do not forget to include your contact information beyond just your email address.  
  
You have mixed up present and past tense usage in the essay which will result in a lowered GRA score. The word count is also not enough to gain full scoring consideration for the LR and C+C scores. That was the result of not writing the correct number of paragraphs and also, not fully explaining the events as it occurred in the letter.  
  
This is a good effort at letter writing. However, you do not really know how to fully develop the discussion at this point. A complaint letter must contain complete information and the narrative must be seen as proof of wrongdoing on the part of the restaurant staff. That was not proven at all in this email. So the C+C score will more than likely be a failing one as well. It will definitely lower the TA score since the letter did not fully address the writing requirements of the task.
## abortion on demand

  
  
One of those issues that have concerned law makers is whether female citizens are allowed to make their own decisions in relation to abortion or the governments should intervene for mental and physical health of them. While there are those opposing abortion on demand for moral reasons, I belong to the supporting team for future of women.  
  
Opponents argue that it is unreasonable for abortion to be legalized widely. Human's rights should be curtailed by the rights of others to free from any harms. Like drug laws, which public has raised no disagreement to, existing to guard against others be involved in a danger, the mother's rights are overruled by those to life of the unborn child. In addition, that abortion is becoming legally and religiously acceptable can encourage a life of gross self-indulgence that no government expects to see from their residents. Both genders should hold obligations for consequence of their sexual activities and banning can motivate people to have a more responsible attitude to sex and pregnancy.  
  
However, I believe that the perspective of supporters should be taken thoughtfully into consideration. If this form of birth control is not allowed at the wish of the pregnant women, they will go to "backstreet abortionists" where the majority of surgeries are performed by unqualified doctors and nurses in unsterile conditions. According to recent statistics that the World Health Organization have publicized, such unsafe abortion results in nearly 68000 deaths per year. It is highly possible that many young girls who become pregnant could loose their future, education and career by the birth of a child. There is no definitive answer that a fetus (foetus) has its own right, so that the alleged rights of a dividing cluster of cells should not be put ahead of a person.
The first two paragraphs that you have written are bordering on incoherent. The thoughts being presented are a jumbled mess due to the improper sentence structuring and word usage in the paragraphs. Only the last paragraph makes sense to a certain extent as I suspect that it is more of a cut and paste job from an uncited source rather than the original thought presentation coming from you, as the writer.  
  
From what I gather in this writing, you have done enough research to actually write a more extensive paper. You could write at least 5 paragraphs using the messily assembled topics in these paragraphs. You need to consult with a writing adviser to help you better present these reasons in a more appropriately formatted discussions. You may contact me privately regarding that service if you wish to.
## Percentage of adults by age group

  
  
The chart below shows the percentage of adults of different ages in the UK who used the Internet every day from 2003-2006. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.  
  
The picture depicts the proportion of daily Internet users in 5 groups of age in the UK between 2003 and 2006.  
At first glance, there was an overall increase in the number of people using social media with 2006 being the year with the highest proportion of use. In addition, teenagers used the Internet the most among 5 age groups.  
  
In greater detail, UK's residents from 25-44 and 45-54 increased gradually from 50% to 80% and 60% to 80% respectiv[ely. The number of UK juveniles using the Internet started at 80% after which it witnessed a rise to 100% in 2005 and a final 10% drop in the last year of the period.  
  
30% of people from 55-64 in the Uk were Internet users in 2003 then it experienced a considerable climb to 50% in 2006. Nearly half of the senior Internet users in 2006 were seen for people 65+ and there was no data in 2003 was recorded for this age group.  
  
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The picture  
This is an incorrect identifier. This is not a picture. The task 1 essay requires you to identify the measurement type image. In this case, this is a columnar bar chart. This is different from the row bar chart that is a variation of the same image.  
  
In addition, teenagers used the Internet the most among 5 age groups.  
Incorrect trending reference. Once you represent the highest measurement, the next sentence should be the lowest measurement. You cannot combine various trends, you can only pair it up as highs and lows (when possible).  
  
Avoid the use of run on sentences in these presentations. The use of long sentences limits the GRA score in relation to punctuation usage skills. It creates a problem with the C+C considerations. It also, fails to represent the correct mix of sentence styles as required of the task presentation. Use at least 3, but no more than 5 sentences per paragraph. That number will better represent the clarity required of the analysis presentation.
## The best way to teach children to cooperation is through team sports

  
  
An opinion usually heard these days is that the best idea to make youngsters more collaborative is through team sports. From my perspective, I do agree with this notion despite some concerns with the other suggestions that I will mention in this essay.  
  
Many people believe that joining in team sports enables children to better understand about cooperation, which is the chief method, because of the following reasons. One of them lies on the essence of team sports - requiring at least two people to engage. Participating in such kinds of sport will create opportunities for childreen to meet and have conversations with their partners; thus, their relationships are about to expand. Additionally, these sports will shape their characters which brings up high moral human beings. For example, members of Viet Nam national football team possess very strong bonds of friendship, and they are also beloved of all since they are very affable with their fans and also have passionate patriotism.  
  
On the other hand, I hold a firm belief that there is many a way that makes children conjoin. One striking inspiration is doing charity works, including visit the orphanages as well as nursing homes. Children especially adolescents can spend their time donating their unused items such as clothes or books to needy people. From this action, they would know how to join hand to build a strong community to do good for society. Another good idea is entering clubs, which can serve as a platform for children to express their thoughts about some familiar problems they have observed. In consequences, youngsters are able to listen to and share with their members,being considered as the powerful tools when entering into the world.  
  
From what has been discussed above, it can be concluded that although the problem is explicit, some proposals, in my opinion, are more vital. What people should do is to pursue to encourage the next generations to implement methods mentioned above in order to become a willing citizens.
The response you have used in this presentation is incorrect. While it appears that you are giving a degree of measured response through the use of the word "despite", it does not actually accomplish the clarity of opinion in the presentation. You indicate that you agree with the opinion, but failed to indicate to what extent. You should have indicated that you "agree with this notion to the extent that..." in order to create a more appropriate response. Always establish the reason for your opinion as a thesis statement. That way you meet the measured extent response requirement. In this case, the opinion lacks clarity due to the lack of summarized reasoning basis.  
  
Never waste time discussing the benefits of the opposing discussion. The examiner does not care about that. He will not give that paragraph a score since it does not relate directly to your own opinion. Only 2 personal opinion supporting paragraphs will receive full scoring. In this case, partial scoring will be applied to the third paragraph but none for the 2nd paragraph. That is the paragraph that does not support your opinion. So it is invalid as a discussion point.  
  
The partial scoring that will be applied to the third paragraph may not be enough to achieve a passing score. That is because the overall scoring consideration for the essay will be based on an under developed discussion. It is under developed because of the lack of convincing argument to prove your extent response should be believed.  
  
Even your summary conclusion is incorrect and lacking in clarity. The summary conclusion should do just that. Restate the problem, your opinion, and reasons for your response within 40 words or, more specifically, within at least 2 sentences. Your conclusion lacks clarity in this instance because you did not recap the overall discussion points.
***Some say that it would be better if the majority of employees worked from home instead of traveling to a workplace every day.***  
## Do you think the advantages of working from home outweigh the disadvantages ?

  
  
With the development of the technology, there are many alternative ways for individuals selecting their workplace. Some believe that employees worked at home instead of working at office have more benefits. Personally, I strongly believe that the merits of it are more rather than the drawbacks which will be present in the following paragraphs.  
  
To start with, working at home is beneficial for workers as they can save times and money. To move from home to workplace, people spend money on tickets, petrol and it waste their time while travelling. Therefore, teleworking is an appropriate way for financial saving. Moreover, remote workers have high productivity. When employees work at company, they often get interruption of time- consuming commute and working environment distraction. Moreover, they have more schedule flexibility. For example, in free time, they can spend time with family members.  
  
However, there are some difficulties of it. Workers are lack of community and teamwork. At home, spending long hours and collaborating with a computer screen and no face-to-face interaction with team members can be challenging. Although there are platforms for video calls, it is still not efficient than sitting together and brainstorm ideas to work effectively. Another reason for that is the shortage of office equipment. Setting up a home office can be highly cost as they have to buy a high-end laptop/ desktop, a strong internet connection, a fax/printer machine.... And that is not convenience for everyone.  
  
In conclusion, although it has some negative points, the positive side is more efficient as my opinions.
Rather than referring to the opinion you support as "it", use a more specific term based on the keyword provided. This will add clarity and accuracy to your opinion as needed by the preliminary score. By the way, watch out for the time reference errors. The past tense references cannot be used in a task 2 essay unless it refers to a previous personal experience or knowledge.  
  
The discussions are not grammatically accurate but those grammatical problems do not reduce the a curacy of the thought or idea presentation.  
The presentation works well and may even gain a passing score. I have to say though that there is a more specific and better scoring format for this presentation.  
  
Focus on the cohesiveness and coherence of the discussion. Since this is a comparative discussion prompt, the reasoning paragraphs need to show the advantage and disadvantage of 1 idea in one paragraph. That is why 2 reasons should be comparatively discussed over 2 reasoning paragraphs. The format is:  
  
Sentence 1: basic premise / reason / idea  
Sentence 2: explain the validity of the reason  
Sentence 3: oppose the idea with a specific reason  
Sentence 4: develop the idea explanation  
Sentence 5: offer a supporting example or personal experience / knowledge basis  
  
By using this format, you will successfully argue your opinion based upon your ability to invalidate the previous claim. In the process, you will meet the maximum scoring consideration for the major scoring sections.  
  
This is an essay that does not score based on number of reasons presented. The best scores come from the properly discussed, connected, and well explained reasons for only 2 individual ideas.  
  
You should easily notice this error in your presentation since your 2 reasoning paragraphs are not cohesive in the sense that the ideas provided are not explained, these are just listed with only a very light an unconvincing explanation provided in the paragraph.