dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
*Whoever controls the media also controls opinions and attitudes of the people and there is little can be done to rectify this.  
To what extent do you agree or disagree?*  
  
## MASS MEDIA CONTROLS PEOPLE'S MIND

  
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It is a common belief that anyone who controls mass media has the power to influence the belief and attitude of the mass and this fact can hardly be altered. I am entirely in agreement with the statement that people's mind and lifestyles can be influenced by the media; however, I am convinced that there are solutions to this matter.  
  
On the one hand, mass media, which is controlled by a group of people and the government, is an ultimately effective tool to spread news, information and cultivate targeted beliefs, etc. in the mass. It is evident that the more exposure an individual has to something; the more likely they will unconsciously believe it. Mass media has made its appearance in every corner of today's life, such as on social network, television, newspapers, and so on, therefore it is unavoidable that people's belief and attitude is navigated and oriented in accordance with the will of those who control the media.  
  
It is hard to be unaffected by the propaganda of the media; however, the situation can be rectified by means of carefully selecting and researching the information source. As the opinion and belief of an individual is determined by themselves, they can decide to believe in pieces of information broadcasted or published on the media after doing research about them. For instance, a constant advertisement that fast-food is good for health cannot defy the scientific evidence proving otherwise.  
  
In conclusion, I am convinced that the media has tight grip and great influences on people's belief and behaviors as they gradually ingrain an intentioned message in their minds. However, it is the individual that decides whether his mind to be led by the media or not.  
  
Word count - 286
Chantel, you were going great in the development of the essay discussion until you made one small error. You decided to say the following: *however, I am convinced that there are solutions to this matter.*  
  
Where did that reference come from? As I reviewed the original prompt, this opinion was not being asked for. So why did you include it? This is a prompt deviation that has forced a failure of your TA representation. You will definitely lose major points for including a discussion of a topic that is not required by the original presentation.  
  
This is a single opinion essay, not a double opinion presentation. Therefore, when you did a compare and contrast of the topic, instead of just discussing the supporting facts of your opinion throughout the essay, you once again, failed to accurately represent the task you were assigned to do. More points deducted.  
  
Your conclusion does not accurately represent the summary of the given topic. More points deducted from the overall score. It is difficult to say that you will pass the test with this sort of presentation because of the prompt deviations that exist within it. It might get a passing score but I can't be sure about it.
@chantieh  
  
Your essay is smooth and coherence, I think this essay can up to 7.  
The only one error at the end of the paragraph one. Your words are better for another writing type (discuss both and share your opinions).  
  
Maybe you can try to express simply your option "agree or disagree" at first paragraph, and reaffirm it at last paragraph. This can help reader to know your choice at the beginning, it also can avoid that you can't finish essay with complete ending in time.
I can understand your confusion. While this type of essay is normally written as a singular opinion essay, there are instances when you can write about the extent of your agreement and disagreement with the statement. The presentation of the prompt, based on your confusion should have been something like this:  
  
*There is an opinion that because media can be controlled, it has the power to control the point of view and reactions of people. Since media has the power to do this, the public believes that nothing can be done to correct the situation. I only partly agree with this statement for a number of reasons that I will be discussing in this essay.*  
  
By using the term "partly agree" in the opening paraphrase, you allow yourself to discuss both points of view to a certain extent within your body of paragraphs. The body will then consist of:  
  
Par. 2 - agreement discussion with evidence  
Par. 3 - disagreement presentation with supporting facts  
  
Using the above presentation you would have been able to get a decent score since you provided a discussion of both points of view in the essay. You could have clearly expressed the opinions you wanted to in a formal and acceptable manner that would not have caused a prompt deviation on your part.
## Practicing for Cambridge FCE

  
  
Task: Is learning to speak a foreign language as important these days as it was in the past?  
  
Write an essay giving your opinion.  
  
It is widely believed that improving skills in a new language is more important nowadays then it was previously. The advent of the internet, the increase in the demand of international trips and the necessity of other languages to work explain it.  
  
Firstly, different languages are resquested when you are browsing online.  
Furthermore, whether you want to research something online, you need to master more than one language since you will find lots of websites from other countries with essential pieces of information.  
  
Secondly, it is recommended to know at least English when you are going to travel so you can communicate with people around the world. Notwithstanding, nowadays it is possible to use some cellphone apps to translate words you do not know, which was impossible in the past.  
  
Finally, looking for a job in a multinational company demmands you more than one language given that you have to talk with employees in other countries. What is more, the company provides training which are in different languages and you have to take part.  
  
Summarizing, from a personal perspective, it is evident that mastering different languages is currently more important than in the past.  
  
194 words
Andre, you have a good start to the opening statement. It is interesting and hooks the reader in. However, the end of the paragraph needs another sentence as this type of essay writing requires evidence of your personal opinion at the very start of the essay. At the end of the opening statement, you should have signified what your opinion is on the topic presented in order to create a smooth introduction for your upcoming paragraph discussions.  
  
Do not cut your paragraph presentations into lines. Present these sentences as interconnected discussions composed of a topic sentence, one justification sentence, and example sentence. That will be considered a complete explanation and paragraph by the examiner. In your second paragraph, you have two unrelated presentations. So those should have been presented in separate paragraphs with their own supporting discussions.  
  
You have a solid conclusion presented here. The whole essay has some problem points but since this is your first attempt at writing the new FCE test essay, I would have to say that you have the potential for improvement and growth over time. Keep practicing. It will pay off for you in the future.
## Coffee and Bananas sale statistics

  
  
**The tables below give information about sales of fairtrade\*-labelled coffee and bananas in 1999 and 2004 in five European countries.  
  
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.**  
  
The tables show data about agricultural products; namely, Coffee and Bananas. The given numbers compare the amount of money they made in 1999 and 2004 in UK, Switzerland, Denmark, Belgium, and Sweden. All the numbers are measured in millions of euros.  
  
The UK income from agricultural goods raised over the years for each product. There were 1.5 million euros earning from coffee in 1999 whereas the amount increased to 20M euros in 2014. Also, the same thing happened for banana but with slower paced, from 1M to 5.5M. The Switzerland sold 3M euros of coffee in 1999 and doubled the number to 6M euros in 2004, in addition, the numbers went up for bananas from 15M to 47M respectively from 1999 to 2004.  
  
Denmark, Belgium, and Sweden amount of income from coffee increased with low speed over the years. From 1.8M to 2M for Denmark, 1M to 1.7 for Belgium and 0.8M to 1M for Sweden. On the other hand, all of them were not been successful in bananas category; like Belgium that increased the income for 0.6M to 4M. Sweden and Denmark have a decrease over the years, as a matter of fact, Sweden sold fewer bananas, started from 1.8M in 1999 to 1M in 2004. Also, numbers for Denmark went down from 2M to 0.9M over the mentioned period.  
  
Overall, It seems that most of the countries did better over the years. These numbers were better for the coffee category that all of them improved their market. But there were two cases of step back for Sweden and Denmark over the years. Also, the UK was the best seller of coffee in 2004 and get the second place banana category, and the situation been reversed for Switzerland.  
  
(276 Words)  
  
*
The presentation of the essay information is remarkably improved from your practice essays yesterday. I guess you are getting used to writing these essays already. It shows in the manner of your paragraph development and presentation. That will result in a scoring increase for your work. However, you now show a problem with your grammar range and accuracy.  
  
Please remember to consistently use past tense in your references as all of these information come from previously completed measurements. Therefore:  
  
There were 1.5 million euros ~~earning~~ earned.  
banana but ~~with~~ slower paced,  
  
The country it called Switzerland, not The Switzerland. Additionally, the presentation of information in that sentence ran too long. It should have been split into 2 sentence presentations.  
  
The discussion of the Banana category should not have been mixed in with the coffee information since that discusses a different topic. The coffee information should have been included in the previous paragraph, allowing the banana discussion to stand alone in a separate paragraph as per C&C requirements for scoring.  
  
The mention of step back for Sweden and Denmark should have been justified with information from the chart. Without it, the reader does not know if this is accurate information being presented to them. When you say the situation was reversed for Switzerland, you should indicate what category it was. The reader already knows it was in 2004.
**Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology.  
  
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.**  
  
## science is not everything in this world

  
  
While there are people who say it is important for college graduates to learn different subjects in university, there are people who believe that they only need courses that proved to be effective for their future. There two points of views shall be discussed, in addition to my personal ideas on the subject.  
  
Firstly, there are people that believe when a student enters to the university must follow his/her dreams. It means that they are free to choose their major and it does not matter which one it is going to be because that would guarantee success in the future. For example, I know classmates that came to software engineering major just because their parents made them to. Most of them quit after the third semester.  
  
Secondly, some people believe that in today's world, science and technology have the most opportunity to make money, so students should follow this path to become successful. They say that students can follow other subjects as a hobby. For example, one of my friends that were a fantastic painter studied civil engineering and also continues his patio in art. He is a successful engineer who recently started an exhibition of his paintings.  
  
Lastly, in my opinion, people should learn what they love, because the learning process is not easy, there are a lot of obstacles in the way that a person can overcome, if and only if he/she loves his major. For example, there was a lot of coding in our major (software engineering) which is not easy and requires love and patience. I think the main reason that people quit was that they could not hold the pressure, they were not happy.  
  
In conclusion, two different points of views were discussed whether students should continue their education in what they want or it is science and technology which is important. In my opinion, while science can bring a lot of money for one, they money does not guarantee happiness.  
  
(329 Words)
I do not know if you realize this or not but you discussed only one point of view in the two paragraphs. Both your presentations pertain to justifying the fact that students should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, and what the results of those opinions are. You presented two varying results for the same topic (study subjects useful in the future) as one positive and one negative. The correct format for this discussion is:  
  
2nd Paragraph - Students study whatever they like (not what their parents told them to).  
3rd Paragraph - Students study only subjects useful in the future.  
4th Paragraph - Your opinion.  
  
If you notice, having students study what their parents tell them to in college, and having them study only subjects that will be useful in the future follow the same discussion vein. Both require the students to not study what they like but what others deem more important for their professional future. The mistake in the discussion extends all the way to your concluding paragraph. So these mistakes will cost you a passing score with this essay. It will fail due to the improper discussion presentation.
**People should follow the customs and traditions when people start to live in a new country. Agree or not?**  
  
## adaptation in another country

  
  
It is often said that it is essential for newcomers to get used and follow the traditions and culture in a foreign country. In my opinion, I completely agree with this idea.  
  
In the first place, people who have just started living abroad tend to face a great deal of problems if they cannot follow the local tradition. For example, if they want to set up a bussiness, conducting knowledge of local bussiness customs in the host country must be necessarily done in order to make you business a success, Besides new residents also need to profoudly learn new laws and get away from some actions that seem normal in one country but may be considered illegal in another, which sometimes put you in a big trouble.  
  
In the second place, there are various benefits for a new resident to follow local customs and traditions. First of all, by doing so, you can easily make friends and integrate in the new community. As a matter of fact, people are more likely to accept those who have the same customs and behaviors like them. Secondly, ì new immigrants are acquainted with the new culture, they will be able to fully enjoy the traditions and take part in a new community life by local festival or traditional activities.  
  
In conclusion, in order to adapt to a new life in another country, trying to follow the customs and cultures of the host country is extremely important that can bring you integration and convenience in the new community
Seol, one of the main problems in your essay is that it becomes incoherent and non-cohesive in presentation due to the poorly developed sentence and paragraph presentations. Almost every paragraph in your essay is a run-on sentence. You must learn how to use other punctuation marks other than the comma. The most important punctuation mark for use in this essay is the period. Use it well and you will present highly developed ideas and thoughts within your paragraphs.  
  
Do not bother to use numerical sequencing when creating your discussion. A 3 body paragraph is too short for that. Instead, just discuss each point directly. This will show a confidence in your writing style that is often covered up by weak writers using sequencing references. The authority and convincing power of the statements you presented weakened due to the numerical referencing at the start.  
  
Your opening statement is also improperly presented. Refer to the following correct representation instead for future reference:  
  
*Some people believe that the culture and way of life of a country one is moving to must be followed. This will help them start a new life in the country. Others think this is not necessary. I agree with the belief that assimilating into a new culture is important when a person decides to take residence in a different part of the world.*  
  
Since there is no reference to an "extent" of your opinion, there is no need to use terms such as "completely" in the discussion instruction representation. A simple statement of "agree" or "disagree" would have been sufficient enough.  
  
You need to practice due diligence in your essay writing by proof-reading, editing, and properly revising the essay to suit the prompt requirements and scoring considerations. You can spot the places in your work where you failed to do that. Make sure you avoid the same mistakes in the future.
**Colour is a powerful tool that is used to great effect by manufacturers and retail companies when they try to sell us something. In fact, many of the purchasing decisions we make are partly or largely influenced by colour.  
  
How true is this statement? How much does colour influence us when we buy something?**  
  
Many manufacturers and retail companies nowadays use colour as an elemental factor to attract consumers. Actually, a great deal of our purchasing decisions that we make are based on colour. Therefore, I firmly believe that it does have a great influence on our choices.  
  
To start with, colour is possibly one of the main reasons to attract purchasers when they buy goods. According to a survey about its psychology, 93% of the number of buyers who buy a particular product look at its visual appearance. This can be explained by the meaning which is contained by each colour. For example, green always evokes fresh, nutritious vegetables as it connotes eco-friendliness and healthy. Another is brown which is used often in food packaging on account of its earthy, natural look.  
  
From my point of view, both colour and quality of the product equally have huge impact on consumers. Firstly, it is a simple way to specialise brands across all communications with customers. Hence, using colours smartly in packaging not only can visually set companies apart from competitors but it also makes shoppers pay more attention. Another factor to consider is quality since colours do not always denote the product content as well as its effect. An illustration of this is a quote: "We can not judge a book by its cover".  
  
To sum up, it is inevitable to say that colour is an essential element to be considered when we go shopping. As a result of a strong connection between colour and purchasing decisions thay we make, manufacturers should make use of this to sell their products.
Nguyen, your second sentence in the opening paragraph is almost a direct quote from the original prompt. You need to change it a little bit more in order to remove the plagiarism in your presentation. You could have said:  
  
*Aside from other factors being considered during the purchase of an item, it appears that color is one of the foremost considerations that influences the decision of the buyer.*  
  
That paraphrase directly includes the last 2 questions provided in the original prompt. Which is what the opening statement requires.  
  
In the body of the discussion itself, you present a contradiction from your opening statement. You started by saying that you firmly believe in the statement. Then, towards the middle of the essay you indicate that both color and quality influence the buying decision. Therefore, you do not believe that color is the strongest indicator of what a person will purchase. However, you repeat the belief that color influences the buying decision of clients in your closing statement.  
  
In addition to that, you used actual research information in your second paragraph. You required research online in order to do that. There will be no such instrument for you to use during the actual test day. So use only popular information and personal opinions to discuss and defend your reasoning.  
  
This is a very confusing, ill developed essay that unfortunately, will not get a passing score in an actual test setting due to inconsistencies in your writing and reasoning style.
Topic: *The graphs below give information about computer ownership as a percentage of the population between 2002 and 2010, and by level of education for the years 2002 and 2010.  
  
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.  
Write at least 150 words.*  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
## owning peronal computer - in numbers

  
  
The given diagrams indicate information about ownership of computer as a percentage of the people between 2002 and 2010, and by different levels of education for the years 2002 and 2010.  
  
It seems that the people having computer had been increasing stablely since 2002. Then, it reached approximately 75% in 2010.  
  
Moreover, it is worthy of attention that the people who have the higher level of education (postgraduate qualification) were more likely to have the computer, while the people who have the lower level of that (no high school diploma) probably less.  
  
What's more, it shows that there were more people having the computer in 2010 comparing to 2002. For example, although those people with no high school diploma were only around 10% in 2002, the percentage of those with that was 4 times to 2002 in 2010.  
  
In conclusion, there was a steady rise in computer ownership between 2002 and 2010. Having the higher education level, the people were more likely to get a computer in any year.  
  
It is my first time to do the task one of writing in Ielts. Plz rate my writing and give some opinion to me. Thx!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
*
Hello,  
  
You should not have a paragraph with just one sentence. each paragraph, at least needs 3 sentences.  
  
the higher is not the correct grammar, you should either write **the highest** or just **higher than**.  
  
In the introduction, you said "information about ownership of computer as a percentage"  
It is better to say "the percentage of computer owners"  
  
And also you must use paraphrasing in the introduction. You just copied now.