dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
Make it a regular practice to review your essays prior to submission. This is so that you can catch the correctable errors in spelling, grammar, sentence formation, and thought presentation which can affect your final score based on the individual scoring criteria. In this essay, you have several spelling and grammar errors.  
  
Spelling:  
deliquency = delinquency  
behaviors = behaviours (spelling difference between UK and American English)  
  
Grammar:  
Pronouns are used in sentences based on the intent of the presentation. So the form you use for the presentation should be in tune with the sentence requirement:  
  
- This takes they to imitate = this takes them to imitate  
  
Proper sentence structure:  
- This makes them imitate...  
  
Conciseness issues:  
Do not use ordinals in an essay. It does not help to clarify your presentation explanation. Avoid using First of all, Secondly, Thirdly.  
Use statements of certainty to make the intent or explanation clear in the sentence  
- games have to raise awareness = games must raise awareness  
- possible reasons = reasons  
  
You must always use a voice of authority in your essays as you must convince the examiner of the truthfulness and validity of your opinion / explanation. That is why you cannot terms that could depict uncertainty in your presentation. Clarity is achieved by the conviction of your statements.
## knowledge gained from experiment vs knowledge gained from books

  
  
Learning is one of the most important activities in real-life. You can gain knowledge whether from books or experience. They are all essential and useful. I am inclined to believe that learning from experience is more important.  
  
In the first place, many people support the view that learning from experience helps everybody to become more active and sociable. For instance, should you would like to owe or improve some skills, you will have to take action to gain more knowledge and experiment. Therefore,you will have more new relationships and you will make a lot of new friends. They certainly will help you a lot with your learning. Not only does it help you to have new relationships but it also improves your health. The more you act, the more healthy you are. In fact, when you act, it will decrease your appetite for junk food and other unhealthy food. As a result, the more you act, the more healthy you are  
  
What is more, it is often believed that you will be able to learn everything in a way unlimited and increase your practicability.You will free from exploring everything directly in real-life as well as have practicability with everything you are learned. It is Albert Einstein who said that: Everything is experience,everything else is just information. It means that you need to put your knowledge into practice rather than only keep it.  
  
Nonetheless, others oppose this viewpoint that learning from experience will not help you study the information in detail. Whereas, you need to remember that it will be only route learning if you don't practice.In particular,you will not know how to calculate the length of one house or ít acerage.  
  
All in all, it is clear from the above argument that learning from experience is more important than from books.
While you were able to express a clear position regarding the given prompt question, the essay suffers from a lack of discussion clarity. The confusion stems from the way that your sentences are not properly structured, along with problematic word usage. There are several instances when you use the wrong word in the sentence, which leads the essay to not have any sense when read by a native English speaker. These problematic sentences, which do not make any sense include:  
  
- ... should you would like to owe or improve some skills (owe should not be included in the sentence because it means to be under obligation to pay)  
  
- You will free from exploring everything ... (missing the connecting word BE. )  
- ... have practicability with everything you are learned (you mean practical ability)  
- ... it will be only route learning (route means a direction taken for travel. You mean to say routine which means a regular course or procedure).  
  
These vocabulary problems will be enough to earn you a failing score in the C&C, LR, and GRA sections. The LR section will fail because the word is used in a manner that does not meet the definition of the term. The GRA failing score will be due to the stress of the reader not being able to understand the meaning of your sentences.C&C failure will come from the manner that the essay does not deliver a cohesive or coherent message due to the improperly used words and problematic sentence formatting.
## IELTS Writing Task 2 about sports

  
  
**Some people think that physical strength is important for success in sport, while other people think that mental strength is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.**  
  
In order to get achievements in sport, most people argue that the most vital factor is physical strength. However, the fact that, no single sportsman could reach the success in their career without a strong mental heath. That why I believe that both qualities play the crucial role in this field.  
  
On the one hand, people obviously recognize the physical demand in sport. Sport is the field need people to show off their body power and the trainers could be discover talents throught their activies. Sportsmen are provided well-balanced diets and severe training regulations to satisfy qualities in their sport due to maintaining stamina and endurance. Even more, there are many sports stars in the world have given up their fame because of detecting performance-enhancing drugs in body in order to reach top physical condition.  
  
On the other hand, athletic competitors appreciate the necessity of a strong mental attitude. Firstly, mental strength foster sportsmen's will when they are in training process. Victory could be achieved in near days, it is the achievement long-term plan and competitors would experience hard time. In these moments, mental strength add more motivation. Secondly, people could not do everything perfectly, neither of athletes. There will be failures or traumas. Which helps them overcome their regret and continue the arduous career is inside power. Ultimately, win would come back.  
  
In conclusion, both physical and mental strenght are important to success in sport and they supplement to other in the life of athletic competitors.
The essay will receive automatic TA point deductions for the lack of word count. Of the 250 word minimum, you only wrote 247 words. Normally the essay would fail in totality but scoring adjustments have changed the total failing score to simply points deductions when it comes to word count. Regardless, you must ensure that you meet the minimum word requirement as that will allow you to better score in the GRA section. Additional TA deductions will be made because of your improper formatting of your response and prompt deviation. Your essay does not offer a personal opinion along with a comparative discussion of the public point of view. Please note:  
  
DI: Discuss both views and give your own opinion.  
Response: That why I believe that both qualities play the crucial role in this field.  
  
See? You created your own discussion which does not respond to the prompt instructions. That is a serious error on your part and will be the main point deductions reason.  
  
The reasoning paragraphs present the 2 public points of view but fails to present your personal opinion within the expected 3rd reasoning paragraph. So there will be a problem with your final score since the discussion is not fully developed. When you miss out on discussing a specific requirement, you can expect that your scoring deductions will be such that you will be unable to reach a 5 band score.
@Holt  
I really thank you for your comment. I have some questions! In the 3rd paragraph, should I present the public points about this then add my opinion or I can present my own view directly and give following reasons; after that, in conclusion I write "In conclusion, both physical and mental strenght are important to success in sport and they supplement to other in the life of athletic competitors. That why I believe that both qualities play the crucial role in this field."  
  
Do you think it better?
## Improving hardships or just accepting situation?

  
  
Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations.  
  
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion  
  
Nowadays, inadequate employment and lacking of money are now considered two factors that influence mostly in individual well-being. As a result, people choose two different ways to react those circumstances, while numerous people think that acceptance those situations is the appropriate choice, others believe regulation is the perfect answer to the math.  
  
On the one hand, no doubt that undergoing difficulties is not unpleasant for everyone and that might be lead to enhancing the circumstances. Firstly, the process of upgrading complex problems which may influence our self-learning. In others word, improving issues in employment will boost self-learning and similarly, promotions will raise and higher salary is the upshot. Secondly, attempt to stand right at the beginning sometimes doesn't rely on people because of their burdens are hang above their heads. Due to the fact that they need money to fulfill their bills, they are going to be diligent worker for the rest of their lives whether they do not seek opportunities to accommodate the conditions.  
  
On the other hand, there is another way to tackle troubles in awful cases, which is acceptance. Initially, whether you are well-able in life or not, there are always some incidents that you could not have sufficient capability to undertaking. Life is full of plentiful surprises, somewhat they are inevitable and unchangeable, thus, nothing is considered the best as opposed to smiling and patience till those adversities walk through. For instance, in some field alike accountant, becoming wealthy might be hopeless apart from obtaining lobby.  
  
In conclusion, I totally agree with the latter notion while accepting the former could right in some extent. Improving hardships may be far better, nevertheless, considering to calm and undertake the best in another realms could be extremely brilliant in some circumstances.  
  
292 words.
The overall discussion format is incorrect. The requirement for the discussion, based on the reasoning paragraph requirement is:  
  
- Accept the bad situation ( give reasons why the public believes this. Use second or third person pronouns)  
- Do not accept the situation and try to improve it (public opinion again, second or third person pronoun)  
- Personal opinion (would you accept or change the situation? Why? Defend with examples and supporting explanation)  
  
Your public points of view do not acknowledge that you are presenting public points of view. Hence, it comes across more as personal opinion reflections rather than an explanation of public opinions. Use the group pronouns to correct that error.  
  
The response expected from you is a personal opinion justification. Instead, you offered an agreement with one of the two paragraphs, without properly developing your explanation as a stand alone paragraph. You turned your personal opinion into the concluding paragraph. Your TA score will meet with deductions because of the lack of proper reverse paraphrase presentation in that section. The essay will also be lacking a conclusion, which will result in point deductions being applied as well.  
  
Your final paragraph does not meet the discussion requirements as presented in the original prompt. These errors in presentation need to be fixed if you want to get a better score in this essay presentation. The rule of thumb is : Dual point of view discussions have 5 paragraphs. Never forget the personal opinion presentation.
## enormous salaries of individuals

  
  
**In some countries, a small number of people earn extremely high salaries. Some people believe that this is good for the country, but others think that governments should not allow salaries above a certain level. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.**  
  
It is true that in several nations there is a minority of people who can achieve a far greater size of salary. While some people argue that this can bring about numerous benefits to a country, others think that a restriction should be imposed on the salary level by the governments.  
  
On the one hand, it can be argued that the situation in which a few can earn extremely high salaries can benefit a country. Since the high pay is associated with sustained efforts and perseverance, which promotes the idea that only by working hard can you attain what you want in life. This, therefore, drives all people within a country to push themselves hard , creates values and make their greatest contributions to their countries. For example, people in America all know a term called " American Dream" and they all exercise a high working spirit to reach their own dreams. This , as a result, shapes the dynamic working attitudes among American and it is their collective efforts that contribute to the leading economic status of the U.S in the world.  
  
On the other hand, governments should control the size of salary to some degree for some good reasons. Although the policy of applying performance-related salary seems to be reasonable, it might lead to wealth inequality in a long run. In some developed countries, the government still continues to face high poverty rates and this is because governments' budget has already been allocated to the small segment of population. Therefore, by putting a cap on people's salaries, they can create more job opportunies for ignored citizens and thus, combat rising unemployment rates. By doing this, government can ensure a healthier and more sustainable economy growth and the well-being of all citizens.  
  
In conlusion, even though the outlook of giving advantages to a few in society appears promising, I believe that governments should impose a limit on salaries for more sustainable developments.  
  
(Linh, 322 words)  
  
P.S. I would really appreciate your comments on my essay. Thanks a lot in advance.
Good writing. The problem is that you failed to accomplish a few things in your reasoning presentation:  
  
- There was no group pronoun reference to the point of view being discussed. This would have helped to show that you were discussing the public point of view as indicated in the original prompt. Without the group pronouns, it appeared that you were discussing your personal opinion in every reasoning paragraph.  
  
- The personal opinion needs to be justified in the discussion. That should have been presented clearly, with supporting explanations and a relevant example. It is a stand alone paragraph in the essay presentation.  
  
The proper format for this essay would have been the 5 paragraph approach. As a compare and contrast essay with a personal opinion requirement, it is safer and always best for you to discuss the reasoning paragraphs within 3 presentations. That way you have enough space to present a fully developed explanation for each reason. The most important reason being your personal opinion which, in case your tutor did not tell you, is never presented as a single sentence in the concluding paragraph.  
  
You cannot conclude your essay with a single sentence opinion because the last paragraph is always reserved as the summary presentation of the total discussion. Hence, it cannot contain an opinion or point of view as that still needs a fully developed explanation. Using it as a closing sentence creates an open ended discussion. That means you did not really conclude the discussion but rather, ran out of ways to explain your opinion. That means your TA score will not meet the highest possible score as you failed to fully explain the discussion in your essay.
## Should volunteer work at school be compulsory?

  
  
In recent years, the question if students should do volunteer work in order to graduate has been receiving a great public attention. Although this trend is not without the advantages, the downsides will justify these.  
  
There are several negative influences on students if they are forced to do volunteer. First, since students are already suffering enough pressure from school, volunteer work can make it worse with busy working schedules, leading to anxiety disorders of students. In fact, students should be encouraged to to spend their free time on leisure activities and sports with their friends and family, which can increased their work productivity at schools. Second, some students might be too centrate on volunteer work, which may lead to bad results at school that should be their main issues. This means that students could not have enough in- depth knowledge in order to graduate and get higher education, which affects their career opportunities in the future.  
  
At the same time, society is not believed to gain anything from obliging young people to do unpaid work.First, forcing a group of people to do something against their will goes against the values of free and society. For instance, students would be stressed if they are obliged to do worrk they do not want and might have behaviour which are against society. Second, parents of student may think their child are being used which can lead to arguments in society.  
  
Plenty of evidence suggest that volunteer work can be very good for students as long as young people are willing to do it, which turns out to be an ideal chance for students to improve social skills.  
  
In conclusion, with the convincing argument mentioned above, volunteer work should not be compulsory for students to graduate.
*Although this trend is not without the advantages, the downsides will justify these* From the essay I understand that you are against compulsory volunteering, but this sentence is confusing.  
  
Anyways, the prompt asks for your opinion only, not advantages/disadvantages.  
Maybe you could have just said in your second sentence - *In my opinion, it is a bad idea* in a more creative way than me, of course.  
  
The second paragraph makes sense and supports your opinion against forceful volunteering. Despite some grammar mistakes, in my opinion, this paragraph is good.  
  
The next paragraph is not so clear maybe you were in a rush while writing it.
I am uncertain as to what the actual, complete prompt for this essay is. There are actually several topics in relation to the subject of the essay so I cannot really decide which one is most applicable for your writing. Please provide the complete prompt requirements the next time you post an essay for review here. In the meantime, I will focus on your grammar issues. Just to get the ball rolling with regards to improving your writing skills.  
  
Most of your errors relate to spelling and grammar issues. In one part of the essay, you repeated the word "to" twice in succession. You should remember to review your work before you submit your essay. So you can catch any errors made and correct it. Every mistake will result in point deductions. Remember that. If you get enough deductions, you could actually end up failing the test.  
  
Let me get started with your spelling errors:  
  
centrate = centered  
worrk = work  
  
Grammar rule issues:  
  
- Verb form after the helping verb: ... which can increased (increase) their work...  
  
These are some of the mistakes that I caught in your work. There are several more errors but I would have to show you a rewritten version of this essay to correct it. Sadly, I am not allowed to rewrite your whole essay for you just to correct the errors. I can give you better advice next time. Just remember to include the prompt so that I can do that for you.
## Knowledge about other countries' literature

  
  
The question of whether literature for children in the country or international literature should be taught has gained popularity in the past several decades. While some may suggest teaching only the literature of the country, the suggestion is groundless, and should not be implemented.  
  
Learning about other literature from other countries has considerable advantages. First, it offers opportunities for students to discover new cultures. The pupil would find it easy to learn a new language by comprehending other cultures, which is very necessary nowadays. Second, it's a chance to meet learners around the world or make more friends. That indicates they can broaden their knowledge of the beliefs, values, and consumptions of others that are considered to be the element that builds culture.  
  
Furthermore, if graduated children understand other traditions, they will have more employment opportunities. Thanks to globalization, they can work not only in their country's company but also in multinational companies. They would have decent jobs with high salaries which could improve their standard of living. In addition, once they have knowledge of the literature of other countries, they may be given opportunities to teach other people about their literature. These activities may help to improve this country's literature surface.  
  
To sum up, there are many advantages to teaching students about the literature of other countries, so students should be taught both country literature and other countries.
The first thing I noticed about this essay is that it does not follow the standard IELTS prompt for this topic which is:  
  
*It is more important for students to study history and literature than it is for them to study science and mathematics. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.*  
  
So I am not sure how to approach the review for this discussion. It does not follow the original prompt requirement and you failed to provide the prompt that you are using for this essay so reviewing your essay based on content and discussion approach will be useless.  
  
I also noticed that you did not meet the minimum 250 word requirement. You only wrote 229 words, which means the corresponding points deductions for being under the word count will result in a severely low score for this essay discussion. Again, since I do not know what the prompt topic and discussion requirement is, I cannot hazard a guess as to how you could have improved your response to meet the word count.  
  
Based on these reasons, it should be obvious that your essay, when all the errors for the remaining scoring rubic are taken into consideration, will not meet the minimum 5 band score. Yes, I can make that conclusion even without knowing the main prompt requirements as the word count is an integral part of the scoring consideration and poses a heavy percentage of deductions when the minimum count is not met.