dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
There is only a slight problem with your prompt paraphrase. Based on the original discussion, the suggestion for introducing physical education in the school curriculum is not mandatory. Therefore, you are in error and slightly deviating from the original discussion point in your paraphrase. Additionally, your topic representation is a bit confusing because you tried to restate the prompt using synonyms in word for word positions in the sentence. This led to a lack of clarity in the presentation. You do not have to change the presentation word for word. You have to restate the original topic based on your understanding, using your own words, not necessarily word for word replacements. A clearer representation would have been:  
  
*Health issues stemming from obesity are proving to be on the rise. Since most of the problems seem to be affecting students in school, there is a suggestion that the weight gain problem can be best addressed by coaxing students to participate in school based exercise programs. I fully support this suggestion due to several personal observations and insights.*  
  
Aside from this little oversight on your part, the rest of the essay is on point in relation to supporting a single opinion. Your discussions are cohesive, well connected, and uses good examples to help illustrate a personal observation or insight on the topic. Save for the original paraphrase situation and the extremely short conclusion, you may want to create a 3 sentence conclusion instead to properly do a reverse paraphrase of the presentation, this essay could probably achieve a 5 band score.
## Spoken communication is more powerful than written communication.

  
***To what extent do you agree or disagree?***  
  
There is a claim that oral communication is more effective than writing communication. In my opinion, deciding which one is more powerful than the other depends on certain circumstances.  
  
When it comes to situation requires facial expression and body language, verbal communication is the most suitable. Dating is the common example for using it. Sending messages, images and lovely icons have no value because they can never replace real smiles or different expression in a dinner date. We cannot guess how reliable he or she is just through reading some written text. Another good thing is that talking in person is extremely useful to have a better understanding of the person we are communicating with. A face - to - face conversation helps us know more about people such as the friendliness, their personality and the way they express themselves with the person they have a crush on.  
  
However, I think written communication is the best choice in terms of journalism, law and business. As the outbreak of coronavirus is spreading all over the world, journalism and social media play an important role to raise awareness of people. Governments always send message to each citizens to protect ourselves from this epidemic. To use another common of this practice, in court, oral words will be worthless if we do not have valid evidences such as written documents to support our arguments. Speaking of business, it would be much quicker, more time-saving and more convenient to send emails to a group of targeted customer about promotion and sales rather than meeting and talking with each of them  
  
In conclusion, as I have mentioned above, it seems to me that unwritten or written communications has its own benefits. What we are making efforts to do is that using it correctly to boost our career and set up good relationships through diverse communication
Personally, your essay is pretty good but few mistakes in grammar. Especially, there are no linking verbs between each sentence when they are necessary, and such phrases as "to use another common of this practice" and "speaking of st" make sentences a little weird, you should google their usage carefully again. I see loads of outstanding vocabs; however, u should expand the diversity of structure in order to make the essay become more impressive. Those's all recommends I would like to share with you, hope that they can help to to improve your writing skill
Unfortunately, this essay will automatically get a failing score in the TA section because of a clear prompt deviation. Let's look at a comparison of that part below so you can fully understand what I mean:  
  
*OP: To what extent do you agree or disagree?  
YR: In my opinion, deciding which one is more powerful than the other depends on certain circumstances.*  
  
You did not properly respond to the task question. You created your own discussion instructions for the essay. Hence, the overall presentation will be deemed totally unrelated to the task, preventing you from achieving a 5 band score. In addition to this error, there are also punctuation problems, a lack of use of descriptive adjectives, and a problem with singular - plural usage in your presentation (citizens = citizen). Therefore, the deductions that these errors would create in the GRA section would truly prevent it from achieving a passing score.
## Internet users as percentage of population

  
  
IELTS WRITING TASK 1  
The line graph illustrates the figures for the proportion of the Internet users in America, Canada and Mexico throughout a 10-year timeline.  
It is noticeable that Canada has the highest percentage of users during the period shown, while Mexico has the lowest proportion compared to USA and Canada concurrently.  
  
In 1999, the proportion of people using the Internet in the USA was approximately 20%, while the figures for Mexico and Canada stood at around 10% and 7% respectively. In 2005, Internet usage in the USA and Canada rose to around 70% of the population, while the percentage of users in Mexico reached just over 25%  
  
By 2009, the highest proportion of Internet users was seen at Canada. Almost 100% of Canadians used the Internet, compared to about 80% of Americans and only 40% of Mexicans.  
  
*
The minimum word count for this essay to be scored is 150 words. You only wrote 135 words. Therefore, I cannot review this data presentation task accurately. You have not written enough words to properly represent the 4 scoring considerations for this task. There is a lack of proper data analysis, comparison discussion, and sentence development throughout the essay. You have not completed paragraphs nor represented complex and simple sentences in the presentation. An essay of this type will not achieve a passing score during the actual test. Always aim to write the minimum word count. Never write under the word count, that is detrimental to your final score.
## Colour can affect how people feel

  
  
**Psychologists have known for many years that colour can affect how people feel. For this reason, attention should be given to colour schemes when decorating places such as offices and hospitals. How true is this statement ?**  
  
It is argued that colour has a huge impact on people's life. People have a linking for it are shown in how they decorate their house, what colour they wear, etc. As a result, it will also effect how we feel outside, the place particularly such as hospitals and offices.  
  
Firstly, colour can effect how people feel. Every colour can be the symbol of every motion of people. For instance, in almost comics and cartoons, the red colour expresses the embarrassment of the characters, pink colour expresses the romance or love.  
  
Secondly, when decorating space of hospitals or offices, people always choice the suitable color for each one : deep colour for office and bright color for hospital. In office, the worker usuallly take place an assembly or have deadline for work.Deep colour can make them feel comfortable and more relax. In addition, hospitals usually are decorated with warm and bright colour because of this shade of colour can affect the expression of patient. It make them more happy and their illness become better.  
  
In conclusion, colour is very important to improve the mood of people. We should research on different shade of colour to make us more positive.
Being a Task 2 essay, you have to meet the minimum 250 word requirement. You have only written 199 words which means you will receive enough point deductions in relation to the missing words that make up the 250 word minimum to fail the test. You have not written enough for the examiner to get a clear picture of how well you can express yourself in English and if you know enough English words to help you write a proper opinion paper.  
  
The original discussion indicates a fact, scientist have already proven that colour has an effect on people. Therefore, you should not use the word "argue" since there is no debate being presented. Facts are facts so it should be stated as such in your paraphrase. Do not exaggerate, do not change the discussion slant.  
  
The following part of the paraphrase section does not make any sense: *People have a linking for it are shown in how they decorate ...* Did you mean people have a liking for it? Generally, the sentence descriptor "linking" is misplaced and has removed the possibility of the reader even guessing what you are trying to say. Do not use the informal English words such as "etc." in a formal academic essay such as this one.  
  
Make sure all of your paragraphs meet the minimum 3 sentence requirement throughout the essay. Otherwise, you will not meet the minimum word count. Majority of your paragraphs are little explained and supported in terms of reasoning and examples. The concluding paraphrase should represent the original discussion and your reasoning paragraphs, it should not be short under developed idea representations.
## It is generally believed that the Internet is an excellent means of communication

  
  
Recently, the means of finding out detailed information as well as making conversations has become an ongoing topic of debate in many parts of the world. It is a common belief that the Internet plays an indispensable role in the process of bonding people, which cannot be supplanted by any other kind. Nevertheless, there are some shortcomings when the Internet is used to find out detailed information. I incline with both arguments for several reasons.  
  
On the one hand, in the Internet age, using wireless networks not only can contribute a decline to the distance barrier by some social media, but also broaden one's social circle, even making overseas new friends. Specifically, in terms of extroverted teenagers, they can feel more at ease when having more friends, eventually from abroad. For example, there is no need to set aside time to organize face-to-face meetings, they just add friends on social media, such as Facebook or Instagram and create conversations. According to the Close-knit Bonds Club, the majority of adolescents tend to deem the visual world as the basic needs to exchange their stories, some projects at schools and catch up on gossips with friends  
  
On the other hand, it is argued that being proficient at looking for detail on the Internet can be considered as career progression as well as future prosperity in the competitive world. Conversely, the key consideration is the accurate level of the materials, which can be learned from real experiences. It fosters following the truth and the greatest solutions when facing the arduous cases on a daily basis which were related to professional knowledge. In fact, in chemical experiments, the rates between some solutions seemed not the same as in the theories, therefore, people have to be flexible in changing the proportions to display the most noticeable phenomenon. According to the Oxford survey, approximately 87% of citizens place more importance on correct materials than they do on the sources, which the fake and truth are mixed. As a result, they can further their career paths and achieve the coveted awards in late life.  
  
To sum up, while it is apparent that the Internet is one way by which users can get endless sources, it is undeniable that the accurate level of information is given more stress. Thus, some striking downfall from the Internet like gossip magazines should be substituted by the truth from the real application. In addition, Internet users can overcome distance obstacles and satisfy the social circle requirements effectually.
Your response is totally unrelated to the task presented by the discussion instructions. Based on the original prompt, the discussion for this essay topic is:  
  
*Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.*  
  
The discussion instruction is based on the given topic:  
  
*It is generally believed that the internet is an excellent means of communication but some people suggest that it may not be the best place to find information.*  
  
The original discussion topic is based on the proliferation of fake news on social media and some slanted search engine results. The discussion format is based on the general public point of view, coming from 2 public sides of the matter upon which your personal opinion will be based. What you did was change things around.  
  
*YP: It is a common belief that the Internet plays an indispensable role in the process of bonding people, which cannot be supplanted by any other kind. Nevertheless, there are some shortcomings when the Internet is used to find out detailed information.  
  
YD: I incline with both arguments for several reasons.*  
  
Creating such a big prompt deviation means that your essay did not follow the given format for the discussion and, as such, has not presented the proper information to the examiner. Thus creating a failing essay presentation. You failed to represent the two points of view and your personal opinion is not aligned with the original prompt. As such, you have created an essay discussion in a manner of your own design instead of as prescribed by the original prompt. There is no way that this essay will get a passing score.  
  
Your information is not based on relevant examples from your experience or knowledge. By citing an Oxford research result, you have gone against the personal knowledge requirement. You are citing researched information instead complete with percentages. In addition, you are using exaggerated phrases such as "topic of debate" when these are mere discussions. You have to understand that the examiners are looking for accuracy in your representation of the discussion and using terms that create controversy where there is none will not sit well with them.
This is a pretty good essay that only has some reference issues. You repeatedly make reference to results of scientific investigations, census data, and other in-text citation based information without giving the actual sources. As such, the authority of the information, in relation to the original source and validity of the data comes into question, lessening the informativeness and accuracy of your research. Go back and refer to the original sources of the information in your paraphrased sections. That way the information will gain more effectively and truly make your reader aware of facts not known to them before. Make these changes only if the paper is required to present itself as a research paper.  
  
If the paper requires itself to be presented as a personal opinion paper, then you have to remove all the aforementioned sources. In the case of a personal opinion paper, you should not be citing other sources, only observations of the situation around you in relation to bilingualism. Personal experience and insight will help create the solid platform for your presentation and, using first person references will add to the personal authority of the presentation.  
  
Based on the actual requirements of your presentation, you should accomplish one of the two suggested editing methods to clean up your report.
## instead of preventing climate change, we need to find a way to live with it

  
  
In this contemporary society, issues regarding weather have been invariably arousing public concern, especially climate change. Consequently, there is a school of thought holding that in lieu of militating against climate change, it is more necessary to devise plans to coexist with it. Personally, I am convinced that there is no likelihood that this movement, which may bring human nothing other than more predicament for human , can be viable  
  
In the first place, it is virtually impossible making an attempt to coexist with climate change by virtue of the fact that the power and influence of nature is formidably strong and ineluctably unpreventable . To clarify ,as a result of climate change,the globe has been progressively heating up, which in turn gives rise to a plethora of natural disasters taking its toll on human and many places. Tsunami is a case in point, which can drive human to the verge of death and clean up all existing creatures merely within a second. To that end, even the best-laid plans can hardly vouch for the safety of human when confronting the danger brought by tsunami.  
  
In the second place, this movement can be financially disadvantageous in an extreme degree. Heretofore every activity of human race are inextricably entwined with weather, which can entail human a colossal amount of budget creating methods to adapt to the alteration of climate. For instance, farmers primarily pivots on favourable weather to have their crops producing the best outcomes, which can be impeded by interrupted period of drought if climate change occurs. Proving that farmers build enormous tanks to store water in advance, the supply can surely not be deployed in perpetuity, which is not only exorbitant but also results in a parlous state in terms of agricultural production for farmers in the future  
  
In conclusion, coexisting with climate change, from which human can reap nothing, is totally unattainable. By contrast,if human take measures to ward off climate change in time, the reserve of the abovementioned movement can truly take place
You forgot to consider the main discussion requirement of this essay:*To what extent do you agree or disagree?* So your rambling response does not make any sense. You did not respond to the given discussion question. You did not offer a clear side to support in the discussion right off the bat. You are doing a comparative discussion in a single opinion essay. Wherever you read the word OR in the question being posed, that means you have to choose between the two sides and represent only one in the discussion. You cannot do a comparative discussion because that means you did not create a clear position based on the given topic for the discussion. That will result in a TA score of 3. Which will strongly pull down your final score. It will prevent you from achieving the 5 band score.  
  
If you believe that the proposal is totally unattainable, then you should have said so in the paraphrase section by indicating something like: *I strongly oppose the suggestion that we should learn to live with the uncontrollable changes to our weather patterns.* Then, you should have gone on to discuss 2 reasons why you support that opinion.  
  
The coherence and cohesiveness of your discussion is in the strength of your reasoning. The way that you connect 2 supporting statements to prove your point creates a connected (cohesive) discussion that, when read in combination, creates clarity (coherence) in your explanations pertaining to the side that you support. Without the connecting reasons, your discussion lacks the proper coherence and cohesiveness that would show that you have a clear understanding of the given prompt and discussion parameters.
***Some people think that newspapers are the best way to get news. However, others believe that they can get news better through other media platforms.*  
  
## Discuss both views and give your opinion.**  
  
In current times, we can obtain information and keep up with the latest news through newspapers and magazines. Nevertheless, some people approve with the idea that it is no longer the best way to get news due to the proliferation of online news source. I completely agree with this viewpoint for some following reasons.  
  
On the one hand, it is so common that newspapers still play an integral role among the newsreader even though we are living in a digital world. The newspaper came to the public in the earlier time than any other genres of communication. Thus, to most people, especially senior citizens, have developed the habit of reading a piece of news on a mundane or before starting a new day and they do not want to lose this tradition. Moreover, newspapers are considered to be more reliable compared to other news source of information these days. They believe that newspapers and magazines are invariably in their best version, written by professional journalists, meticulously checked and edited before publishing.  
  
On the other hand, the Internet has gradually become an increasingly dominant news source by virtue of the significant changes it brings to our lives. With a highly technological device such as smartphones, laptop or tablets and internet connection, everyone are capable of accessing a substantial number of online websites just in a few clicks. Besides, people have a wider range of choices which platforms to acquire efficient information thanks to the development of the Internet. They are able to access to Facebook, Youtube, Instagram or Snapchat to keep up with the up-to-date news across the globe in a few minutes. It has revolutionized dramatically the way we catch up the news due to the constant advancement, which has made it possible to uploads online videos and auto recordings to meet up with a huge number of people, especially the youth target.  
  
In conclusion, although agree that printed newspapers always play an essential role in our society, I would argue that online is a better choice in term of technology like this hi-tech era.
Your prompt paraphrase is inaccurate. You have not properly responded to the given discussion requirement. Compare what the original instruction is and what your response was:  
  
*OP: Discuss both views and give your opinion.  
  
YR: I completely agree with this viewpoint for some following reasons.*  
  
The correct response is:  
  
*CR: Using an analysis of the two ideas behind the more valid news source, I will present my own assessment of the discussion.*  
  
Based on the given topics for discussion ( newspapers is the best place to get news, other sources are the best way, personal opinion), the reasoning paragraphs should have been represented in 3 stand alone paragraphs representing each point of view. You only represented your personal point of view throughout the essay. That is the conclusion the examiner will come to due to the lack of 2nd or 3rd person / person plural references in the topic sentences for the reasoning presentations.  
  
There are also no arguments in these essays. There are only discussions. Examiners hate it when the students exaggerate in the presentations. Keep is simple and casual, just discussions, opinions, thoughtful exchanges of ideas. Never use inflammatory terms like argue, debate, heated discussions, and other similar inflammatory references in your essays.  
  
Keep your essays between 270-290 words. Bear in mind that you are practicing by typing on a computer screen but you will be writing in a booklet at the testing center. So use the written form of essay writing for the discussions. You will see that you cannot write as many words in manual form. Use a timer and hand write the essay. You will see exactly how many words you will be able to write for a given essay topic. Just type it into the box when you post it here for review.