dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
The topic summary is incomplete as it does not refer to the measurements provided being indicative of per capita consumption and type of meat consumed. The shortform is therefore inaccurate in terms of highlightable data presentation..  
  
The word "and" being a conjunction can never be used to start a sentence as there are no clauses or phrases to connect in the sentence. Having used it in the trending paragraph shows a lack of sentence structure knowledge and will contribute to GRA deductions.  
  
Paragraph presentations must have an almost uniform 3-5 sentence presentation to meet maximum C + C scoring considerations. 2 sentences never comprise an academic paragraph or professional reporting presentation as it shows a lack of or limited information analysis in relation to the data.  
  
The writer has an idea of how the task should be presented but has a problem meeting grammar and sentence structure rules.
## the quantities of goods transported in the UK

  
  
The line graph illustrates the amount of goods which is transported in the United Kingdom over the course of 28 years starting in 1974 via four various kinds of transport namely road, water, rail and pipeline.  
  
Looking at the graph, it can be immediately obvious that merchandise delivered by road, water and pipeline experienced an upward trend, with the exception of rail. Another interesting point is that road is the most popular transport over the period shown.  
  
In 1974, around 70 million tonnes of merchandise were shipped by road, in contrast to only about 5 million tonnes goods by pipeline. The figures for water and rail were the same at around 40 million.  
  
Having fluctuated slightly , the quantities of goods transported via road reached a peak of about 100 million in 2002. The figure for goods delivered by water was 65 million compared with only 40 million of rail. Although the quantities remained the lowest among the four kinds of transport, the amount of goods loaded by pipeline witnessed a steady increase to over 20 million in the same year.  
  
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Avoid writing an extremely long, multiple idea, single sentence summary. Doing so will cause confusion for your reader as too much information in a single presentation makes it extremely difficult to understand and keep track of. This particular summary overview required 3 individual sentences. That means 1 sentence per piece of information. 1 data presentation per sentence is the age old norm for basic English writing skills. The current recap format will receive a failing score in 2 sections: C + C and GRA.  
  
Do not ask the reader to look at the graph. They should not need to do that since your report should accurately, through the use of academic and descriptive words, explain the image information. The understanding is that there is no image reference on the part of the reader. That reference is point reducing in terms of accuracy considerations.
## Some people think that sports play an important role in the development of society

  
  
Nowadays, some people presume that sports have a big impact on the progression of society, while others have different points of view. In this essay, I will discuss the rationales behind both views and showing why I favor the former.  
  
On the one hand, some people think that sports are nothing than a leisure activity because they focus on many things that they consider it important. Adults ought to spend their time taking care of family, accomplishing their career goal, earning money. Therefore, they don't tend to consume too much time on sports which can be useful for their job. Another reason is that some people don't know how sports affect positively on their body. Physical exercises improve the health and reduce the risk of developing several undesirable diseases like diabetes, cancer, skeletal problems. Also, if you do the exercises regularly, your lifespan will be longer.  
  
However, I agree that sports play a crucial role for the development of society. The healthier people are, the more productive they will be. Scientists claim that sports enhance both mental and physical health. For instance, playing football with friends after hard-working days will relax your mind and strengthen the stamina. As a result, it will boost your work performance considerably. Furthermore, sports bring many benefits and gain an enormous amount of profit. Some big sport events draw a lot of attentions all over the world, stimulate the tourism industry and create thousands of jobs and opportunities for locals. To illustrate an example, the world cup 2018 attracted 1.5 million tourists within a month. Also, Russia earned 30 billion dollars from the events.  
  
In conclusion, it is obvious that sports bring many benefits to citizens' health and the evolution of society. Some people think differently because they don't understand the values behind a leisure activity.
There is a misconception that the discussion instructions need to be restated in the first paragraph.This is totally incorrect as the standard format for the paragraph is as follows:  
  
Prompt restatement + writer's opinion  
  
Nowhere in the paragraph format does the instruction state the need to repeat the writing instructions. The writer merely needs to state his point of view after rephrasing the 2 public views. These 3 sentences will be the basis of the TA score which considers the writers opinion for scoring. It does not consider a repeat of the instructions as it is not a formatting nor scoring requirement. No additional points will be awarded in this case.  
  
The writer has not clearly separated and developed the 2 public opinions. The first reasoning paragraph lacks proper discussion development. A compressed discussion was presented for both ideas without the proper use of transition tools. The overall presentation is problematic in this case and may suffer a failing score because of it. The author will do well to learn how to write using the more appropriate style of:  
  
Public opinion > Why it is supported > Personal opinion (in favor/not in favor ) > Reason > Example > Transition to next paragraph  
  
The discussions can be clearly accomplished within 2 reasoning paragraphs using this format.
1. You use words that don't flow naturally, it seems that you use some words just to " show" your vocabulary but I think it backfires. Rather than showing that you are capable of using words naturally, you just make it very "unnatural"  
  
2. check the grammar carefully:"rationales behind both views and showing why I favor the former." showing here is inappropriate. you should check your grammar first  
  
3. check your ideas. In the second paragraph, it seems that you want to discuss the "downside" of sport but you include "Physical exercises improve the health and reduce the risk of developing several undesirable diseases like diabetes, cancer, skeletal problems. Also, if you do the exercises regularly, your lifespan will be longe"  
  
which must lie in paragraph 3( you just restate the idea in paragraph 2 in paragraph 3)  
4. Enlarge your vocabulary range to use correct, natural words
## The graph below shows the changes in food consumption by Chinese people between 1985 and 2010.

  
***Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.***  
  
Answer:  
  
The chart compared Chinese consumption in terms of food products such as meat, salt, and fish from 1985 to 2010. In general, Chinese people added fish to their nutrition more than either salt or meat over the period shown. In addition, while there are increases in the consumption of meat and fish, consumers significantly remove salt from their meals.  
  
As can be seen, in the beginning, fish pointed out the highest amount of 600 grams per person per week. The figure for eating fish reached a peak of 850 grams in 2000 after experiencing many years up and down. Coming next, a Chinese person absorbed 500 grams of salt a week, but then the amount witnessed a non-stop decline to 200 grams in 2010. In contrast, starting with 100 grams, meat gradually grew over the 25 following years with the same figure compared to salt  
  
Can you help me assess the correctness, clarity, and cohesion of my essay? Thank you so much!
The writer wrote only 146 out of the required minimum of 150 words. There will be percentage deductions for the missing word count. Always remember to keep track of the word count when drafting the essay. Each paragraph must have a minimum 3, but no more than 5 sentences per paragraph. The writer will also need to develop 3 clear reporting paragraphs for the essay. Meeting these 2 requirements will guarantee that the 150 count will be met at a minimum or a little more than minimum level.A task 1 essay can never have only 2 paragraphs. These must count 3 paragraphs for single image presentation, and 4 paragraphs whenever 2 images must be compared. These are the reasons why the essay does not meet the minimum requirements for a passing score.  
  
There is no clear summary overview and trending statement. It appears that the writer ommitted these from the presentation in favor of direct reporting paragraphs. What the writer thought was a summary and trending presentation was actually fulfilling the reporting requirements already. So it cannot be considered a summary even though he tried to word it as such. Without the summary overview and trending statement, the essay will be deemed under developed and following an incorrect writing format.
## the unpopularity of farming work

  
  
It is true that there are fewer young people working in agriculture in recent years. There are a number of reasons for this trend, and in my opinion young people should be fostered to work in agriculture.  
  
There are two important reasons why so few young people choose to do farming work. Firstly, In the view point of most young people, farming jobs are associated with hard work and poverty. Farming work requires people to do manual labor for a long time to take care of the plants. Moreover, if the Weather conditions are not favorable on those is a serious disaster such as a flood, the farmer will be likely suffer heavy losses. Secondly, with the development of the national economy and technology, farmers is no longer a remarkable career choice. Nowadays, young people have a lot of career choices that are less hard, earn more and more stable than farming. In particular, the younger generation now enjoys a full education and they always aiming for mental labor jobs.  
  
However, I think it is essential to encourage young people to do farming work because of two main reasons. The main one is to keep the farming industry alive. In some agricultural countries, for example Vietnam, the agriculture plays an role in the national economy, not only to supply to people in the country, but also to export abroad. The survival of agriculture is very important in such countries, so it is necessary to encourage the young to work in this field to ensure its existence. Furthermore today's young generation enjoy a full education, so they have broad knowledge and understanding, which help them to have useful initiatives for the agricultural industry. They can invent and use modern technologies for farming, which can help increase work efficiency and avoid many risks.  
  
In conclusion, there are some clear reasons for young people not to choose a job in agriculture, and I think it is necessary to encourage them to do farming work.
An accurate prompt topic restatement will not include the writer's opinion as to whether or not the proposed topic is true or false. It should merely reword the original presentation without additional information that has no basis in the original presentation. This is the first score reduction that will be applied to the prompt restatement section. As for the writer's personal opinion + thesis statement, The writer only responded directly to one of 2 questions, making the response sentence incomplete in representation. Only a partial score may be applied to the response due to the lack of first question response. The writer must directly respond to the questions provided by indicating his clear opinion and why, 2 response criterias that are provided with scoring considerations.  
  
The writer shows an understanding of the first question and responds quite well to it. His ideas are clear although the sentence structure is faulty (throughout the essay). He has a problem with his singular v. plural references and has capitalized a word that is not classified as a noun. These are GRA problems that will result in a failing to low passing GRA assessment.  
  
A redundancy can be seen in the writing of the exam taker.  
  
two important reasons  
and   
  
two main reasons  
are highly similar in presentation, a problem that could affect the LR score negatively for this test.  
  
In the concluding statement, the writer changes from a sense of conviction for his opinion to uncertainty. This contradicts his previous establishing opinion statement and will affect the TA score of the essay in a reducing manner.
## young people respect more international VIP's than known historical figures

  
  
In today's world, there is a pervasive phenomenon that young people are more concerned with international celebrities than prominent historical figures in their countries. The essay below will analyze the causes of the tendency and also put forward several feasible solutions to it.  
  
This issue could be attributed to two main culprits. First of all, it is an array of tedious lectures at school that gradually destroy students' interest in studying history and its related figures. Admittedly, rote learning is becoming increasingly popular among students who are to get high marks, particularly in History. They are required to memorize a myriad of dry facts and figures, which are tiresome and irrelevant to their daily life. Another compelling factor is the prolific appearance of pop-culture superstars on virtually all forms of media. They, performing with lively and charming images or sounds, seem to grab more attention from teenagers.  
  
There are, however, some measures that should be considered to curb the problem. First, schools should try innovating the history curriculum as well as teaching methods. Creative and practical features added will help the lessons become more engaging, inspiring and edifying. Second, film studios could be sponsored by governments to produce more historical masterpieces. These actions may allow students to gain fascinating insight into the national history, realize how heroic and respectful their forefathers were, evoke the young's pride and passion to learn more and to devote themselves to the history one day.  
  
In conclusion, it is assumed that young people are becoming indifferent to historical figures and favor the glamor of famous stars. Given the reasons for the tendency, the proposed solutions should be considered thoroughly to tackle the problem.
The prompt restatement is fine. The opinion statement is non-existent as there are no responses to the 2 direct questions provided. The writer merely restated the discussion questions in this section which is not the same as providing the direct response to each question. The writer's opinion in this case, should be replaced by a 2 sentence thesis statement that outlines the upcoming discussion. The first paragraph provides incomplete discussion representations and will not receive full scoring merit for the presentation due to lack of formatting compliance.  
  
Both discussion aspects do not have fully developed explanations since there are 2 reasons provided without any proper transition or connecting comments. These tend to create disconnected paragraphs, resulting in under developed or little represented discussion points. Again, full scores cannot be provided for the paragraphs due to lack of explanation development.
***Some people believe that Art gives our lives meaning and purpose. Others believe that it is merely a distraction from real life.***  
## Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

  
  
In this time and age, it is more accessible to approach Art in various ways. While some argue that Art is one of the sources providing the goal and meaning of lives, it is believed by others that it may put humans in the illusion from reality.  
  
Arts help people to survive. Hard times or obstacles are inevitable throughout our lives. To overcome those difficulties, arts are some tools to save you from the deep end of dwelling. Arts can be performed in a wide variety of ways, in which humans experience different feelings in the process. Take music as an example, some light music can lift you up and boost your mood. Painting is another example to illustrate, which is a method to express your heart and intrinsic thought. During the creation of Arts, people can be triggered to think in another, or even entirely different perspective, which instead is creating the meaning of life.  
  
On the contrary, some may hold the view that Arts are a waste of time. Enjoying Arts, not to say creating them, is time-consuming and may cost a lot. Some people, the underprivileged in particular, lead a hectic life to make a living. They could barely support and maintain their daily life by busy work, let alone enjoy the additional entertainments like Arts, namely, visiting gallery or exhibition to understand the message that the creator or composer delivers, or purchase different tools to create their own art pieces.  
  
In my point of view, Arts differ significantly between people from all walks of life. It depends on your capability and wealthiness. After all, money provides humans with the freedom and space to escape from reality in the form of Arts. Thus, I believe that Arts are a kind of distraction of life, but in a good way if you are wealthy enough.
It will be better for the exam taker to avoid using memorized and exaggerated phrases such as "In this time and age". There is no reason for this statement to be present in the paragraph because it does not have any bearing on the actual topic. Connecting this phrase with the original statement was certainly an ineffective stretch on the part of the writer.  
  
Now, while the writer does provide a pretty much accurate restatement of the original topics, the missing personal opinion left the prompt restatement + personal opinion paragraph incomplete in terms of response format. The writer should make sure that he accomplishes all the task requirements for the first paragraph at all times.  
  
The writer has provided good discussion paragraphs. The problem, is that the writer forgot to write up a proper concluding summary for the essay, thus forcing a failing score due to the lack of a closing statement. The essay was good, but incorrectly formatted. A personal opinion is not acceptable as a concluding presentation.
***Nowadays, a lot of offices have open-space designs instead of separate rooms.***  
## Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

  
  
In recent years, numerous enterprises have been adopting open-space layouts in lieu of closed workplaces. In my opinion, although this propensity has proven its upsides, they are somehow eclipsed by a whole host of drawbacks.  
  
It is true that the former is beneficial to the staff regarding their interaction and quality of work. First of all, this type of layout might prompt interpersonal communication among the employees, ameliorating both their mental and emotional well-being. Engaging in conversations, or exchanging ideas with others, in fact, might alleviate their working stress, and therefore improve their work productivity. Second, working in open space enables the staff to establish and maintain relationships with other co-workers. To illustrate, people in varied departments can not only share equipment and resources such as printers or stationery, but there might also be more scope for fruitful team-working projects. As a result, social bondings in the whole company would be engendered, inspiring and enhancing their working environment.  
  
Nonetheless, the aforementioned merits pale in comparison with the downsides, as a shared workplace is not private enough and might be hard for the staff to focus on their work in one way or another. In terms of privacy, the higher number of people in a given space could be responsible for the feeling of unpleasantness and embarrassment. This kind of design renders employees less comfortable when working or answering confidential emails. In addition, the staff have to contend with such a high level of distractions, for example, from phone ringing or people talking. These elements might in turn interfere with their working, minimizing their focus and engagement in work. Finally, the fact that people are situated closer together might exert a threat on their health due to the increasing potential rate of infection. This may cause more absence from work, which may worsen the overall productivity.  
  
In conclusion, I am firmly convinced that the upsides of the idea of open-space offices are overshadowed by its limitations.
The writer shows a high level of academic writing through his use of college level words and sentence representations. These will prove to be beneficial to his scores in relation to LR and C+C structures. The examiner will acknowledge the higher writing level of this exam taker accordingly by reflecting it in relevant scoring segments.  
  
However, it will be better if the writer avoids making statements of fact in these essays. As these essays generally represent a common public opinion, it is more advisable to use a general statement reference unless instructed to "discuss both views and give your opinion". It is only this latter instruction that receives better scoring consideration when aimed at providing a truthful opinion of a public statement.  
  
The writer should also provide a better reverse paraphrase in the concluding summary. At less than 40 words and lacking in the 2 sentence requirement, the score that the current conclusion provides will not help increase the overall score.