dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
## using translating applications or learning foreign language

  
  
Nowadays some people are familiar with translating applications and ignoring the duty to accumulate new languages. My personal view point will be discussed in the following essay and getting to a conclusion.  
  
To begin with, it is undeniable that technological development brings benefits including translating applications. Firstly, the software allows users to communicate with foreigners immediately without a professional learning progress. For example, translation softwares now includes the voice transfering system that gives users the ability to use their native language with foreigners directly through the mobile device installed with the software, by speaking to the phone and it will return the language that the partner will understand through the speaker. Secondly, the applications help the technology users to avoid struggling in learning a new language. There are an enormous number of people using online dictionaries included in translation software as their learning documentary and without these applications, the accumulating progress will take more effort as it becomes more difficult.  
  
On the downside which I firmly believe, translation softwares also brings a number of backward effects compared to learning the language. Firstly, the accuration of the software is still a major concern. Many translating applications resulted in the misunderstanding of the language's meaning among the users, which may lead to the confusion in communicating and the worse is the low quality of education and learning languages. Secondly, a number of people who depend on these technologies may ignore their duty to acquire a new language, as a consequence leading to their underrated classification to adapt to nowadays world, which is highly demanding for language flexibility.  
  
In conclusion, although technological development comes with technological tools that benefit people in the language field, I still hold to my belief that the most beneficial method to acknowledge more about language is learning
The writer has created an orginal prompt statement rather than simply restating the original prompt. As such, the task rewriting considerationn have not been met. If one were to look at the orginal topic, he would see that his opening statement is totally unrelated to the first version. He has not given a clear measured opinion either, leaving the examiner without a preliminary response to score. A flatly stated opinion is used to score the accuracy of the response in relation to the discussion instruction. The provided paragraph does not meet formatting requirements.  
  
On the downside which I firmly believe  
This is the required response in the first paragraph that was necessary to help establish the succeeding discussion.  
  
Add to this the incompletely discussed openon and one will understand the failing score. There is a lack of early opinion reference, strong opinion reasons covering 2 stand-alone paragraphs, and a properly developed discussion presentations. clear LR problems and inaccurate sentence formats are the final series of enors that will prevent a passing score.
***Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals.  
Others say that there are more important environmental problems.***  
## Discuss both views and give your opinion.

  
  
Conversations have been sparked constantly about the exacerbation of global environmental problems. While many believe that the gradual disappearance of certain natural species is the most urgent threat, others argue that there are a lot more pressing environmental issues. This essay will discuss both views and explain the idea that global warming is of greater concern than any other matter.  
  
On the one hand, the diminishing availability of natural species is warranting our attention. Our ecosystem, which has taken millions of years to perfect and evolve, has been being destroyed and obliterated by a profusion of human activities such as illegal poaching, squatting and deforestation. For example, many companies are trying to cut down trees in forest areas in order to construct resorts, hotels and factories as a part of expanding their businesses. Consequently, not only do many types of animals are on the brink of extinction attributed to the loss of their natural habitats but many valuable species of plants have also been vanishing without any trace.  
  
On the other hand, it is global warming that is constantly putting human existence at risk. This kind of problem is believed to be the culprit behind the worsening of our climate. For instance, 2022 has recorded UK's highest temperature at more than 40 celsius degree in July, marking the first time this country has ever experienced such an intense heatwave since the early 2000s. Furthermore, the warmer pattern of the Earth also results in many more extreme natural disasters such as drought, ice caps melting, flood, and severe wildfires, causing more people worldwide to suffer from poverty, and diseases as well as running a higher risk of losing their lives.  
  
To recapitulate, while I do believe that the disappearance of certain natural species is one of the most trivial matters that should be addressed properly, it seems to me that we had better make an attempt to resolve global warming, which is a more threatening matter to our existence on Earth.
There is no discussion reference in the ougeval in relation to   
  
Conversations have been sparked constantly  
It is better for the writer's score if he does not exaggerate any statements that could alter the original focus. Examiners dislike this practice and often score down paragraphs with such references.  
  
While the 2 public statement interpretations are done properly, there is a lack of clear reference to the writer's opinion that indicates an improperly developed response sentence. Points will be deducted due to this.  
  
Group first person references should not be used in the general point of view discussion. Group second person references are advised for use in this section. singular first person references are used to indicate the writer's opinion.  
  
The writer's clear first person opinion discussion should be presented in a third reasoning paragraph. It is unacceptable to refer to this in the conclusion and will result in a failing score for that paragraph.
Please help me with these two writing tasks  
***It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives.***  
## Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

  
  
It is said that taking risks brings us many benefits in both professional life and personal life will. However, it also has plenty of limitations.  
  
First of all, it will cause huge losses if we make a failure, whereas, in personal life, the loss would not be much harmful. More specifically, just for a little error, people have to take responsibility not only for themselves but also for others such as colleagues, friends, family, and so on. And the consequence we have to bare is the loss of money, fame, the waste of time, and energy. Besides, from an economic point, failures from failing to overcome risks also harm society. While in personal life, failure due to risky decisions or situations, which gives an adverse effect on us, is even less hazardous.  
  
On the other hand, we could receive some benefits thanks to taking risks. The very first example of this is that we can learn how to prepare for every situation. Under all circumstances, people will try to make every effort by thinking and even try to find more effective ways to deal with each failure. Secondly, accepting unsuccessful things in life helps us to be more responsible to ourselves, and to society, as well as to support the improvement of personal skills for later achievements. Fail does not mean the end, and if we overcome, we may get everyones' recognition and admiration.  
  
In brief, there are both advantages and disadvantages to taking the risk. Everyone will have their own opinion but in my view, even though the benefits outweighed the drawbacks the sweet fruits that we can obtain after adventurous trips are worth the risk we try.
The prompt restatement is fully inapplicable to the original topic. It does not refer to the original discussion in any way. It actually presents a different topic focus because the original talks of the importance of taking risks, while the interpretation discusses benefits that risks bring to a person. It is discussing limitations when that is not the reference point of the discussion instruction. Therefore, the essay has not appropriately interpreted the first version of the presentation. It will not receive a passing accuracy score.  
  
As for the discussion paragraph, the writer presents a confusing discussion that is difficult to follow. It should have 2 paragraphs that represent the 2 discussion topics previously indicated. There should be a complete discussion covering one paragraph for the personal consideration and a second one considering the professional aspect. The writer does not clearly represent these considerations in his idea development.  
  
In the end, he indicates that there are both advantages and disadvantages, which runs counter to the single opinion discussion format for this type of question. It must not indicate that both sides are correct. It will be score based upon how well the writer explains the benefits or lack of benefits of one point of view. There are no passing merits for this essay presentation.
Basically, you are anwering with an off-topic essay. The prompt asked you to express your opinion evaluating whether there are more advantages or more disadvantages. You are just offering both in your two bodies, but you have yet evulated it. Not only in introduction but also lack of clarity of view in conclusion.  
  
This leads to an unclear structuring. For instance, if you want to prove the advantages outweigh, you should write at least 3 advantages in the first body before writing 2 disadvanatges in the second one with some counter argument to show that the disadvanatages are not too much and can be solved.  
  
This will help you substantiate your view better and suit what you were asked for in this type of essay.
## *Homelessness is increasing in many major cities around the world.*

  
  
**What do you think are the main causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to solve it?**  
  
In spite of the recent advancements, lack of shelter is witnessed to have surged over the past years. The current status of overpopulation and unemployment are primarily responsible for this, but if the authority advocates stricter family as well as socio-economic plans, more human beings will afford housing.  
  
To begin with, the olverwhelming appearances in various wealthy cities significantly contributes to how seriously people are lacking home. Owing to the prosperity of such developed places as New York or London, many country dwellers follow the rural depopulation not only acquire more well-qualified higher education but also seek more potential career opportunities than in their poor and far-flung hometowns. The overloaded inflow that has been continuous until now are likely to put pressure on housing problems as another welfare controversy, but this will be not too serious as long as people keep obeying regulations regarding newborns in each family. For instance, in two top overpopulated nations China and Vietnam, the governments have, for decades, more profoundly encouraged adults to give birth to not over two children, otherwise, receive adverse penalties.  
  
In addition, the serious lack of occupations can also be viewed as a major reason. In other words, if an individual had not been well-trained with regard to profession in retrospect, no member of staff would find a suitable job and make a living now which are essential for basic needs like a house to be sustained. Therefore, a feasible solution would again originate from the governments whose roles are to advocate the expansion of existing companies as well as the opening of new start-ups. To illustrate, once they execute a lower tax payment global agreement, the economy will rise consitstently and immensely, so the homeless may be faciliated to step on more open career paths and inevitably earn more money to purchase a house or an apartment.  
  
In conclusion, this dilemma explicitly results from the intensity of cities as well as the unemployment. It is also insisted that the authority should play an integral part in tackling this serious issue.  
  
I wrote this for 5 minutes above allowed, but I cannot really think of a way to shorten any sentence, can you give me feedback and suggestions please? I will be very grateful!
The reason that there was an over writing time is because the writer was focused on writing reasons rather than discussions. Notice how there are more than 2 topics per paragraphs, with some topics veering into unrelated or deviated discussion focus for the presentation. These will definitely cause timing problems for the writer. For example:  
  
The overloaded inflow that has been continuous until now are likely to put pressure on housing problems as another welfare controversy,  
This is an example of an irrelevant discussion that cut into the writing time. Never lose focus of the subject matter. Do not add discussions that would alter the original target. It wastes time and takes up valuable word count that could be used to create a more definitive discussion presentation. Please take note of how the accompanying solution presentation is left hanging. The proposed solution, as it applies to Vietnam is not completely explained to the reader. Creating an inconclusive discussion paragraph.
***Students have to pay for their studies as it only benefits individuals rather than society.***  
## To what extent do you agree or disagree?

  
  
It is thought by some that students have to be in charge of their study on their own as it is only beneficial to them instead of society as a whole. This could be true to a certain extent, I disagree that students are supposed to receive no financial support.  
  
To begin with, it is true that education benefits students as it provides them with both theoretical knowledge as well as necessary skills for their future careers. However, it will be a serious issue for underprivileged students having to be responsible for a huge amount of tution fees. There are those who are talented and clever students but they can not afford their studies due to poor living backgrounds. Therefore, if students are not financially supported, they might have to suffer financial burdens or student loans, which then makes them always think about how to work their way through college. As a result, there will be an increasing number of low-qualified students with bad academic performances owing to the lack of time for studying, further causing society to undergo more losses than benefits.  
  
Nevertheless, society also reaps the merits of giving students the opportunities to pursue higher education. More precisely, universities support students who can do the best of their potential and contribute to the prosperity of the nation. Medical schools, for example, offer scholarships for meritorious candidates, and offer graduation, they will be highly competent doctors who can save many people's lives and serve humanity. Besides, financial aid in terms of studying for students can help alleviate the unemployment rate, further boosting the economic growth thanks to high-qualified labor workforce.  
  
In conclusion, although students are said to pay the cost of their studies as it benefits themselves, I would opine that students learning process more or less has a positive impact on society as a whole.
Do not refer to something as a public opinion, when it is not indicated as such in the original presentation. Be true to the original. That means, the writer must learn to write using general references, without any group indicators since it cannot be reference in the original topic. The writer also offers a confusing opinion statement in the paragraph:  
  
This could be true to a certain extent, I disagree that  
Which is it? Do you support that it is a true statement to a certain degree or, that you disagree with it to a certain extent? this confusing / lack of a clear opinion will immediately garner this essay a failing score. Why? the main task scoring criteria is "the writer must present a clear opinion" within the writer's opinion statement. Failure to do so will result in a confusing presentation that does not have a clear task response / discussion direction. There is no sense in further reviewing this essay beyond this point since the essay has already failed the major scoring criteria.
## less family times these days

  
  
In many countries, people spend less and less time with their families. There are many reasons that cause this trend, which run as follows.  
Above all, the style of life changes. In the past, the young in a family usually work in the same city and live closely due to the bad traffic. However, the children in a family now generally go to different cities to get better life quality when they study and work, which causes them to have few opportunities to go back home and stay with their parents. Besides, the mobile phones appear. Nowadays almost everyone has a smart phone with many attractive and interesting applications on it. Many people often use the phone to watch videos and play games all the day instead of talking with their family. Sometimes even two people in one room just play on their own phones without any communication.  
  
So what will this situation cause? In my opinion, it will cause the conflict between the family members. The less time people use with their family, the worse the relationship between them is. It may cause the quarrel and cold violence even a fighting in the family.  
  
In conclusion, there are plenty of bad consequences caused by this trend. People should spend more time with their families to build healthy family relationships.
Under normal examination circumstances, this essay will automatically receive a failing task score since the writer only wrote 220/250 words. As such, the discussion is perceived to be under developed and with little consideration for scoring criteria on the part of the writer. This is not going to be an essay that will receive a passing score even before a complete assessment of the work has been completed.  
  
When read in depth, it will appear that the writer has an almost cut and paste reference to the original topic instead of a reworded representation. The writer does not make an effort to create a new line of thought that follows the original topic foundation. Then, the opinion statement is devoid of any scorable content as it does not provide any writer insight based on the given discussion questions. Hence, this paragraph will be given a failing score by the examiner. That makes 2 reasons for immediate failing score assessments even before the content in the reasoning paragraphs are reviewed.  
  
The writer does not really discuss the reasons in a greater capacity. Instead, the writer only gives reasons for the occurrence, which defeats the purpose of the reasoning statement. A rhetorical paragraph presentation in the second paragraph did not serve to deliver a stronger results / effects paragraph either. The writer is too quick to dismiss simple reasoning as valid, when a more complex representation that meets LR, C+C, and GRA requirements are needed.
Please note that the word count on your essay isn't met the IELTS requirements for task two. You can extend by brainstorming more ideas and dig deep further into your original ideas.  
  
The introduction is bad, although you make your attempt to paraphrase the question.  
My recommendations: In some countries → In some parts of the world / people spend → invest their time in //  
There are many particular culprits explaining this problem, ...  
  
Your essay's body is lack of coherence and another required paragraph. You have to divide your ideas into two different paragraphs, so more ideas should be added.  
  
It seems that you cannot develop your idea in a more extended way since you only put the reasons without anything supporting for them.  
Grammatical aspect of your essay is repetitive and bad.  
Overall, you should think of ideas carefully and ensure that your vocabulary range is enough to make a full essay.
## Ielts essay about advertising

  
  
***If a product is good enough or it meets people's needs, people will buy it. Therefore, advertising is unnecessary and no more than an entertainment, what is your opinion?***  
  
Many people believe that a customer will purchase a product they see as compatible with their requirements, as a result, advertisement is redundant and just serves to entertain people. In my opinion, this idea is seriously flawed as I will explain further in this essay.  
  
Firstly, advertising informs people of the various choices they have. Were it not for the promotions people often see, they would not know about other product that may serve them better than the one they are currently using. A housewife in Vietnam, for example, keeps buying a type of industrial fish source as she thinks that it does fine for her family. However, through the advertisement on television about a type of traditional fish source which is higher in quality, this woman can make a wiser choice to improve her family's daily meals. Thus, customers are given the chance to realize a better product that serves the same purpose.  
  
Further, advertisement makes the market more competitive and the main beneficiaries of which are customers. One of the deciding factor in each purchase is the price and companies often compete in terms of this element. Usually, the main tool they use to propagate their competitively priced merchandise is advertisement; therefore, customers will benefit from this. If there is no advertisement, then, it is likely that there is no need for a company to make their product competitive as buyers are unaware of the prices their rivals offer.  
  
In conclusion, the idea that advertising is worthless is seriously flawed. Maybe customers will find products they assume are good enough in any supermarket they visit; however, access to even higher-quality ones with better price options can only be provided through advertisement.