dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
The instruction for this essay is "discuss both views and present your opinion". The writer is required to present an analytical opinion for each of the topic paragraphs. What is an analytical opinion? This is an opinion that considers the public supporting reasons for the opinion, based on his agreement or disagreement with the given subject. The writer must use a personal debate format that is similar to:  
  
*The public opinion that supports this opinion is mostly based on the freedom of people to be informed of any development with regards to science... An opinion that is based on the Freedom of Information Act. While there is a law that provides for open sharing of information, I disagree with this practice because....  
  
Now, there are also people who disagree and say that these information are too valuable to be shared. They believe these must be protected because of a country's scientific, economic, and business interests. This is an opinion I agree with because...*  
  
Debate both sides of the issue as presented in the prompt. Why would some people support it? Why do you think it should be supported? Why would others not support it? Do you think it should not be supported? Why? These are the most basic questions that your response to this prompt should respond to. These are the standard guide questions you can use to draft your response. This is the only essay where you can agree or disagree in the 2 paragraphs. That is how you create the coherence and cohesiveness in the discussion, which is heavily considered in this type of discussion. Always expand on the personal opinion even if you have only 1 sentence to represent the public opinion. It is your insight into the discussion that is important. For the thesis statement, you should merely imply your opinion of both topics as you will be discussing both in the next paragraphs.
## write a report for a university lecturer

  
  
The amount of money spent on books in books in Germany, France, Italy and Austria over the course of 5 years from 1995 to 2005 is demonstrated in the given line graph.  
  
The 4 countries all had an upward trend. France steadily stayed on top of the chart in the whole period, however the lowest place was consecutively Austria and Italy.  
  
During the first half of the period, the order of the 4 countries' chart was consecutively Germany, France, Italy and Austria and it remained the same in 5 years. Germany, France and Austria rose sustainably by about 10 million each, however Italy fluctuated around 50 to 55 million.  
  
Within the last 5 years of the period, the amount of money spent on books in all 4 countries shifted dramatically. Germany fell to 85 million in 2003 and increased again to the peak of 95 million eventually. On the other hand, Austria soared to over 70 million, surpassed Italy and tied with France.  
  
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The summary overview and trending statement are too busy. Too much information is being presented in one sentence, creating a jumbled mess of directionless information. The reader expects to read one idea per sentence. Use 3 sentences at a minimum, at all times to explain or represent the every paragraph , regardless of paragraph function . A higher C + C score can be awarded across all paragraphs that way.  
  
The main problem of the writer is not in the way he sees the images. He has a problem in the way he presents the information. He does not try to deliver an impressive analysis beyond a superficial report. Something that can affect the GRA, C+C, and TA final scores in relation to his final overall score. He understood the information, he just did not use the proper format in presenting the analysis. He rushed through the report.
## jobS FOR ELDERLY PEOPLE

  
  
The elderly have the permission to get a job if they want no matter the age they are in some nations. In my opinion, the mentioned trend brings more drawbacks than benefits.  
  
First of all, working just has few cons for the old residents. It will help them have more income to have better living conditions. Some people do not work anymore when they enter the age of retirement, so they have to depend on the money of their children or the government to live. However, sometimes, that money is not enough which means that if they can go to work, it will be huge support not only for themselves but also for their families. It can help them to avoid becoming the financial burden of their child, which will make the old feel much happier to not disturb them.  
  
On the other hand, this trend has many disadvantages. Firstly, to compare with the young working force, the elder's productivity is not high. The older people become, the weaker they will be. For example, a factory employs 100 workers consisting of 60 high-aged workers, the slow movement of them may delay the productivity of the whole team. Secondly, there are too many mental risks to let the elderly work. As they get weaker over time, they will also have a higher rate of experiencing lots of sicknesses like bone tissue or the cold, even COVID-19. Last but not least, the working force of a nation has its own limit. If the old continue working at any age, the young adult may lose their opportunities of being employed or getting a well-paid job. Then, the rate of unemployment will rocket and affect the economy of that country.  
  
In conclusion, letting old people have a job at any age has both cons and pros. However, I think the disadvantages will outweigh the advantages.  
  
I want to know how much score I will get for this essay.
Scoring is provided as a part of our private review services. Contact us privately for details.  
  
drawbacks than benefits  
Wrong response format. Use the original keywords in your response. Is it an advantage or disadvantage?  
  
In my opinion  
What is the basis of the opinion? Present 2 reasoning subjects to support your  
opinion statement to complete the paragraph content.  
  
First of all, working just has few cons for the old residents  
This paragraph is off topic as the discussion only relates to the workforce and workplace. It will not receive a score.  
  
this trend has many disadvantages.  
This response is what should have been presented in the first paragraph as it clearly shows the writer's opinion based on the given topic.  
  
There are 2 relevant topic presentations in this paragraph that would have resulted in a high passing mark had these been fully developed in individual paragraphs. What a waste of scoring potential !  
  
both cons and pros.  
Another off- topic reference that will result in deductions. The lack of reverse paraphrase will cause a score markdown again.
## Many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home

  
  
In this ever-changing modern world, the proliferation of domestic working and learning is more available since modern technological devices are not as expensive and unattainable as previously. As regards studying online, several people critically reckon that staying at home all day will bring people a variety of severe impacts on their health and relationships. However, others take the opposite view that working at home has a few merits. As far as I am concerned, I concur with the first way of thinking.  
  
That numerous people are working and learning from home will contribute to the abatement of mortality rate by accidents and air pollution. Initially, people not going to work and school mean that the amount of using means of transportation is getting less and less. As a result, it helps avoid traffic crashes as much as possible and declines the number of injured and lethal victims. Likewise, the fewer vehicle users are, the less fume emission is released, which helps the atmosphere less contaminated.  
  
However, the impediments eclipse the lucrative side. First, spending the whole day sitting at home leads to a detrimental state of health. For instance, keeping all eyes on screens will make people have sore eyes or even be short-sighted; in addition, staying at home every day results in the laziness of doing exercise and obesity. Another drawback of working at home is that relationships such as family, colleagues, and friends can become more and more distant. Because various people spend most of their time at home focusing on working and studying, they sometimes go out to meet others or keep in touch with close people.  
  
In a nutshell, I would like to emphasize that without a shadow of a doubt, working and learning from home is worthwhile; however, the risks that are physical health and more faraway relationships are not firmly negligible.
I concur with the first way of thinking.  
The writer has not formatted his response properly. The topics cannot be discussed selectively as the 2 are partnered presentation topics in the original prompt.  
  
Concurring with a way of thought is also unacceptable because the discussion question relates to a viewpoint related to positive or negative developments for both groups in relation to technology access.  
  
Creating an unrelated discussion response will result in topic response deductions for this essay.  
  
the abatement of mortality rate by accidents and air pollution  
The writer is off target in his discussion. The only basis for consideration is the cost of technology as it relates to work and study. The writer shows that he has not understood the discussion requirements. He has failed the test.  
  
Use an outline before writing the draft and final response next time:  
Topic: Work and study from home  
Subjects : Students and adults  
Discussion Focus: Cheap technology has made it easier to work and study from home  
Discussion Point: Is it a positive or negative development?
***topic:  
Many people people find it hard to balance their work with other parts of their lives.***  
## What are the reasons for this? How can this problem overcome?

  
  
Work - life imbalance is becoming increasingly serious in many nations. An array of residents are having difficulty in maintaining a successful and comfortable environment in their workplace and at the same time part with time for family. There are a number of reasons behind this phenomenon and several solutions should be adopted by the government and individuals to improve the situation.  
  
There are two primary reasons why individuals are struggling to keep balance between work and the daily. One reason is that people are under considerable pressure because of the highly competitive labor market. Some well-known companies narrow down human resources in order to maintain a normal life. Consequently, they might have a substantial volume of work and people have to work some very unsocial hours.Moreover, work hours have increased and so have daily expenses, but there has not been much augmentation seen in the employees' salaries. Furthermore, people are exhausted from getting promoted due to the economic recession and high requirements at work. People nowadays are very ambitious and nobodys wants to be left behind when it comes to their career progression. Therefore, they outdo their capacity and even do overtime ignoring their other priorities.  
  
Fortunately, numerous measures could be taken to prevent this problem. This first solution would be people ought to set their own goals and priorities. They had better pay attention to when they are most productive at work and block that time off for their most important work-related activities. Additionally, structuring a personal day can increase productivity at work, which are able to result in more free time to relax outside of the workplace. A second measure would be for the authority and institutions to change work policies, reduce workload and adhere to paid employee vacation time. Take Netflix for example, this company lets their employees have a year's leave to parents. In return, employees are more productive and more loyal to the firm.  
  
In conclusion, it is clear that there are various reasons for this tendency, and steps need to be taken to tackle this problem.
in many nations  
This creates a topic reference inaccuracy. Review the original topic reference point. It uses"people" while the writer refers to "nations". There is a misrepresentation of the topic subject.  
  
An array of residents  
A continued misrepresentation of the original topic basis. Deductions will continue to apply resulting in a low to failing TA score.  
  
There are a number of reasons ... several solutions should be adopted by the government and individuals ...  
2 problems with this portion:  
- Lack of established discussion topics based on the given questions (no thesis statements).  
- Incorrect solution reference. Solutions are personal.The problem is not one that should be resolved by the government.  
  
The approach to the topic restatement +personal opinion will prevent the essay from achieving high / passing marks.  
  
companies narrow down human resources in order to maintain a normal life.  
This sentence lacks proper development in terms of idea presentation to make sense to an ENL. What is a " narrowed down human resource"?  
  
The writer is over-discussing the topics tothe point of under-development. There are too many ideas but not enough valid explanations. The clear connection between topics in the paragraphs are blurred. There is not enough use of proper connecting words, phrases, or sentences.
The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.  
  
IELTS Cambridge 12 - test 5. Writing task 1  
  
## THE POPULARITY OF PHYSICAL EXERCISES IN AUSTRALIA

  
  
The bar chart compares the proportion between Australian males and females who did exercise regularly among various age groups in 2010.  
  
Overall, the percentage of men who did regular activity in the youngest age group (15 to 24) was larger than women while this figure in the oldest age category (above 65 years old) was almost the same. For middle ages, the given data shows that women exercised more fluently than men.  
  
For male, the proportion hit the peak at 52.8% in the group age 15 to 24, and dropped to 42.2% (for people who were between 25 and 34 years old) before bottomed at 39.5% for the group age 35 to 44. However, this number increased steadily to 46.7% for those who were above 65 years old.  
  
Starting at 47.7% in the youngest group age, the percentage of women who did exercise regularly rose gradually to 52.5% for the ages 35 to 44 and reached the highest at 53.5% in the group age 45 to 54, then remained almost the same level at the group age 55 to 64 before went down to 47.1% in the oldest group age, 65 or above.  
  
(193 words)  
  
Im aiming to get 7.0 in writing. kindly give me your comment. Thanks all.  
  
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bar chart  
who did exercise regularly  
These 2 sections are not changed enough from the original. It still contains more of a semblance of the original wording, which will not help to increase the LR score. The writer must become more familiar with alternate word / synonym usage in order to improve his word usage score. The aim is to use as much different / alternate words as possible, without changing the original intent of the presentation.  
  
fluently  
Incorrect word usage. The writer should have used the word "frequently", which indicates a constant movement. Fluently refers to the smoothness or gracefulness of a movement. It appears that the exam taker is trying to use varied English words but his understanding of English word meaning is insufficient for him to use the correct wording for his intentions.  
  
The writer has been using run-on sentences for the most part when the requirement for the paragraph presentation is that the writer present no less than 3, no more than 5 sentences per paragraph. Separate the ideas in every sentence. Avoid thought and meaning compression to increase the C+C scores.  
  
At this point, the writer is not capable of achieving his target score yet. More work on word usage and sentence clarity are required.
## HOUSES PRICES IN ENGLAND AND IT'S CAPITAL CITY

  
  
***Task 1: The bar charts illustrate the average house expenses in England and its capital city - London, and to present the comparison regarding the average house prices between distinct areas of England within the year 2013.***  
  
Essay:  
  
The bar charts detail how many average money which spend on purchasing houses in Englans and London in two years (1995 and 2013), and it also compares average house costs between different areas of England 2013.  
  
Overall, it is worth highlighting that London's average house costs was higher than England in both years. Additionally, it is also evident that average house prices of London was dominant among six areas, while Midlands and Northwest was at lowest.  
  
In 1995, there was around $130000 to buy a house in England, which rise to $200000 in nearly 2 latter decades. Meanwhile, this figure was only firstly statistic of London in the initial period, it was thereafter over two times as much as that of initial figure in 2013 ($420000).  
  
Regarding average house prices, $400000 was average costs to owner house in London, which ranked first among six areas given, followed by Southeast, Southwest and Northwest (ranked second:over $300000, ranked third : $270000 and ranked fourth: $200000, respectively). Finally, Midlands and Northeast shared the similar statistic, under and over $100000.
The summary overview is not clear to the reader. A summary must provide a clear sepearation of image identifiers, content placement, and image highlights. This short presentation does not do that. It is difficult to follow and fails to seperate the information in a manner that indicates each image representation. The writer should not compress the information into 1 sentence. Each paragraph has a 3-5 maximum sentence allowance. Use individual sentences instead of a run. The first paragraph immediately starts with a failing preliminary score.  
  
The author continues to use run-on sentences throughout the essay. The doubts and confusion these information create indicates a lack of proper analysis and comparison for the included information. While the writing does become concise, it fails to completely represent a coherent and concise analysis presentation. There is more room for analysis and comparison in each paragraph, provided the writer uses the individual sentence idea presentation format.
## The bar chart and the pie chart report

  
  
The bar chart illustrates the quantity of males and females who took part in different courses at an educational center while the pie chart provides information about the proportion of these participants according to five different age groups in 2009.  
  
Overall, it is clear that the number of women involved in courses was higher than men, except sculpture courses. It is also noticeable that those aged 50 or over accounted for the highest attendance.  
  
With regard to the bar chart, the highest figure belonged to attendance at language courses by women, with 40 people and half that number was for men. By contrast, just 5 females attended sculpture courses, which was twice as high as the figure for males. The number of women taking part in painting courses ranked second, with exactly 30 individuals, while the figure for men was about 25 people. Similarly, there were just 20 women and 10 men attending drama courses.  
  
According to the pie chart, around 40% of people who are over 50 years old studied at this center, whereas just an eighth of that number was accounted by the under 20 age group. One in four attendances at courses belonged to those aged between 40-49 while the percentages of the 30-39 and 20-29 age groups were almost 15% and 10% respectively.  
  
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an educational center while the pie chart  
I can understand that the writer was aiming to create a complex sentence presentation by presenting 2 different images and their respective information in one sentence. That does not create a complex sentence. Rather, it represents a confusing and difficult to track method of providing information. Since these are different images, representing different information, then the images should be presented as individual sentence for clarity and information seperation purposes. It will do the writer well to remember that cohesiveness and coherence scores in the essay are awarded based on the individual thought coverage or information sources of each sentence. 2 images always translates better when done in 2 targeted sentence presentations.  
  
The paragraphs properly developed the presentation requirements for the comparative report. The individualized image discussions per paragraph can be clearly followed and referred to by the reader. It is comprehensive enough in terms of information sharing to create a well developed, analyzed, and concise report presentation.
## Consumption of spreads 1981 - 2007

  
  
The graph illustrates the amount of the three different kinds of spreads used (margarine, low fat and reduced spreads and butter) between 1981 to 2007.  
Overall, the consumption of margarine and butter decreased significantly over the period of 26 years. By contrast, low fat and reduced spreads were seen a increase in the amount of usage.  
  
In 1981, there was about 90 grams of margarine used, then it fluctuated between 80 and 100 grams before fell to 40 grams at the end of the shown period. The figure for butter was 140 grams in 1981 and it reached a peak of 160 grams in 1986. Following that, the consumption of butter dramatically reduced to around 50 grams in the last year.  
  
On the other hand, low fat and reduced spreads were used only from 1996 with about 10 grams, which grew enormously to over 80 grams five years later. This figure then slightly declined in the rest of time.  
  
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three different kinds of spreads used  
This is literally cut and paste from the original image. The result? Score deductions in the summary overview. The writer did not even realize that this is an inaccurate image description that he should have corrected in the analytical summary presentation. The word "spread" has several definitions, one of which is the type of food as in the case of the 3 listed items. Therefore, the differentiation between a regular spread and sandwich spreads should have been made clear to the reader. For clarity, proper word usage, and differentiation, the phrase "sandwich spreads" should have been used.  
  
The analysis could have been more complete and have been awarded a more increased score if the writer had taken note of the overlapping and meeting point measurements for the image. A deeper analysis could have been provided with the inclusion of the information that butter and margarine had equal measurements in 1993 and that the 3 spreads had equal usage in 1996b and 2001, based on the intersecting measurement lines. There is also another point of intersection that the report missed out on, which would have helped the essay get a higher C+C score.
## the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of the time spent doing housework

  
  
The line graphs provide the comparison of the figure of four electrical appliances in a given country and amount of time spent doing housework in households over the period of 99 years.  
  
From an overall perspective, it is evident that the proportion of electrical appliances used has sharply increased from 1920 to 2019. However, the amount of time spent doing housework in households showed a significant decline.  
  
In 1920, the percentage of households with electrical appliances was quite low, especially the refrigerator, at 0%. The figure for using washing machines and vaccum cleaners was higher, at percisely 40% and 30%. Meanwhile, the proportion of time that families in the country spent doing housework per week was far high which stood at 50 hours.  
  
In the period from 1920 to 2012, the usage of refrigerator and vacuum cleaner rose dramatically to a peak of 100% and then stayed at that level. The percentage of households with washing machines started high at 40%, it also increased but reached just about 75% in 2012. By the contrast, the number of hours of housework has decreased suddenly and fell to approximately 10 hours per week in 2012.  
  
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