dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
If I am right and the original prompt of this essay was based on how people's interaction has changed because of technology, then your overall approach to the discussion is incorrect.. Due to the lack of original prompt presentation, I am using the prompt that I know is normally used for this discussion. As such, this essay would, in an actual test, not get a passing score. Why? The discussion went from how technology has influence the way people interact to how the world has changed since the mobile phone was invented. You have also used a comparative essay to discuss the topic when the prompt requirement asked you to decide if this was a positive or negative development. The word "or" creates the singular opinion presentation in the discussion. This is not comparative. There is no clear opinion based on the original prompt because you chose to side with both discussion points. There is no clarity when it comes to the opinion that you actually support. There is nothing in this presentation that follows the dictates of the original prompt and thus, cannot receive a passing score.  
  
If this prompt is based on one that specifically focused on the mobile phone, then you should have supplied the prompt for a more accurate review. Kindly remember to provide the prompt next time. That way I will not have to guess what the prompt is and I would be able to offer you relevant writing advice for the topic you were asked to write about.
## internet users numbers

  
  
The given graph compares the proportion of people that used the Internet in three different countries over a 10-year period, between 1999 and 2009.  
Overall, it is obvious that the percentage of Internet users in each country broke away. However, the number of people who accessed the Internet in Mexico was by far the lowest over the time shown.  
  
In 1999, the figures for Internet usage in the USA was around 20%, which was the highest point of 3 countries. The percentage in Canada and Mexico were lower, at about 10% and 5% respectively. Over the next six years, there was an enormous difference between the USA, Canada, and Mexico. The figures for the USA and Canada were at 70%, which were approximately three-fold compared to the percentage in Mexico.  
  
In 2009, almost all people in Canada accessed the Internet, while the number of population that used the Internet in the USA was around 80%. In sharp contrast to it, just over 40% of people in Mexico accessed the Internet.  
  
*
The given graph  
- What kind of graph? Be specific. The reader cannot see the image. Show your familiarity with the different kinds of measurement images by properly identifying the graph. It is a bar graph? A line graph? What?  
  
in three different countries  
- Which are? You have to specify the countries as a part of the summarized information. These will help the reader understand what upcoming discussion information should be noted. These are the information that your report will actually focus on, so informing the reader beforehand will be helpful to your score.  
  
broke away  
- What do you mean? This can be either a positive or negative depending upon how you structure the sentence. The information in that presentation is incomplete. Tell the reader how the information broke away.  
  
Good work on the estimation of percentages between Mexico and Canada. You showed that you analyzed the information and considered the possible measurement ranges for both countries.  
  
were approximately three-fold  
- An estimation of the threefold digits would have helped deliver more specific information to the reader who, at this point, has no idea what the threefold measurement might be.
## graph analysis essay

  
  
**Question:** The line grap below shows the oil production and consumption in China between 1982 to 2006.  
  
Summerize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.  
  
**My answer:**  
  
The given line graph depicts the supply and demand of oil in China over a 24-year course since 1982.  
  
Overall, the period from 1982 to 2006 witnessed an increase in the amount of oil produced and consumed at different rates.  
  
As can be observed from the chart, in 1982, around 1.8 millions of oil barrels per day were demanded and 2 millions of that were supplied. Over the next 12 years, while the figures for oil consumption experienced a gradual rise to 3.5 millions, there was a significant growth of oil production to 3 millions in 1986, before remaining unchanged till 1994.  
  
During the period between 1994 and 2006, the quantity of oil demand grew faster than its supply. To be specific, the data for oil consumption rapidly increased, which hit a peak at over 6 millions of oil barrels each day in 2006. Meanwhile, there was a minimally and moderately growth in the amount of oil produced, just about 3.8 millions of oil barrels per day in 2006.  
  
*
You still have room to make the report more informative. You have only written 169 words. The target word count, for a full potential scoring consideration, is 175 - 200 words. While you did write more than the minimum 150, that does not mean that you met the requirements for a higher scoring essay. There are still points for improvement in this presentation . Please note my observations below:  
  
Par. 1 - Summary overview  
- type of measurement used (millions of barrels per day)  
  
Par. 2: 1st Reasoning paragraph  
-You should skip saying "As can be observed from the chart" because the idea is the reader cannot see the image. You need to build the image through the data reporting. Skipping this sentence and simply stating the information directly would have helped create a better mental picture of your report.  
  
Par. 3: 2nd Reasoning Paragraph  
- Before you report on the peak, you have to indicate the starting demand rate first. The report is incomplete when you give only the peak without a reference to the low point first. The same goes for the minimal and moderate growth, the measurement digits are provided in the image, use it. That is why you were supplied with the information.
**IELTS 2**  
## Hosting an international sports events

  
  
**Question:** You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.  
Write about the following topic:  
Some people think that hosting an international sports event is good for the country, while some people think it is bad. Discuss both views and state your opinion.  
  
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.  
You should write at least 250 words.  
**My answer:**  
There is an argument about whether the country should be the host for a worldwide sports event or not. While this action could bring some disavantages, I believe that such event could have a great positive impact on the country.  
  
Being a host for an international sports event might pose a threat to the social life of the country since there is a great likelihood that hooligans and anti-social people would incidentally come to the country to watch the show. These kind of people may cause some riots within the host city and therefore, it can not only harm the citizens but also worsen the global image of the country. On top of that, unthoughful spectators are likely to litter the stadium and make that place become a garbage dump. Subsequently, the country will have to pay a massive amount of money to clean the grandstand.  
  
Regardless of the practical concerns expressed above, I would argue that hosting the worldwide sports event is worthwhile. Firstly, numerous tourists are attracted to come to visit the host country and this phenomenom can possibly promote the diverse culture and rich culinary background of the country. The visitors often combine traveling into the trip and give themselves a chance to enjoy the host country, which might not even cross their mind before. Secondly, such events are a profitable investment for the country since the aggregate expenditure of visitors and their payment for the tickets, most of the time, is considerably higher than the hosting money. For instance, the annual incomes of Chinese entrepreneurs increased by 4% when Chine stage the 2008 Summer Olympics in Beijing.  
  
In conclusion, I believe that apart from several possible drawbacks, the merits of hosting a global sports event could offset the disadvantages.
There is an argument  
- There is no reference to an argument in the presentation. There is however, a reference to an exchange of ideas or discussion. Do not make exaggerate claims not supported by the original presentation.  
  
While this action ... on the country.  
- Improper thesis presentation. This presentation does not align itself with the original comparative discussion + personal opinion prompt  
- TA failure due to incorrect response formatting and a response not related to the task  
  
The overall essay only presents your personal discussion, which means that you have changed this from comparative to a totally different essay discussion. The format you decided to respond in, is based on the A/D format rather than the comparative essay format. So the response is incorrect in totality. You were being asked to compare the 2 opinions, which you did not do in a public point of view reference, hence the error in response presentation. You have only a personal opinion presented throughout. This is a 5 paragraph essay, you only wrote 4. There is no clear:  
  
- Paragraph in support based on public knowledge  
- Paragraph in opposition based on public knowledge  
  
The personal opinion is not fully developed as there are 2 supporting ideas in the same paragraph. You need only 1 personal opinion topic in this presentation to establish a clear opinion based on personal knowledge.
**Question:**  
## The charts below give info about endangered plants around the world.

  
***Summerize the info by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.***  
**My answer:**  
The pie chart illustrates different safety conditions of thretened species, while the bar chart indicates data about various living places of those. In summary, most endangered plants are under protection and popularly found in tropical wet forest.  
  
To commerce with, the proportion of protected plants is highest, at 64,10%, followed by 20,44% species with shortage of data, which is approximately 3 times less than the uppermost. The vunerable, endangered and critically endangerd plants are quite negligible, at 6,92%; 3,92% and 4,62% respectively.  
  
Turning to the pie chart, it can be easily seen that the most favourite habitat of vegitation which facing extiction is tropical wet forest, at exactly 63% and overwhelms other environments. Harder-to-found species in tropical wet forest, dry savana, tropical dry grass land occupy 12,1%; 7,7% and 4,5% in order. Least popular choices for plants experiencing itimidation to live on are wetlands, tropical wet grassland and desert with only under 4,3% each.  
  
**P/s:** Could anyone point out some mistakes that often made in part 1, as I often receive only 5.5-6 for my task? Thanks a lot!  
  
*
For starters, you are not writing enough words to merit a high TA score. While the minimum word count is 150, you should be writing anywhere from 175-200 words to assist in boosting your overall scoring consideration. The increased word count will help increase your LR, C&C, and GRA scores.You are averaging 2 sentences per paragraph. Write at least 5 sentences per paragraph to boost your score in the scoring section.  
  
Your LR also shows a problem. You are using words you do not understand the meaning of. For example:  
  
Commerce - an interchange of goods or commodities, especially on a large scale between different countries; social relations, especially the exchange of views, attitudes, etc.  
  
Commence - to begin; start.  
  
It is the latter word you want to use in the presentation.  
  
The summary presentation is not really complete. It lacks the outline or enumeration of the threatened species and a trending statement for each image. As such, the summary accuracy is not going to help you get a better TA score. These are the most likely reasons why your score never goes higher than a simple passing mark. Improve on these points and your score is sure to get a consideration boost.
## popularity of different types of spreads

  
  
The line graph illustrates the usage of margarine, butter, low fat and reduced spreads over the course of 26 years starting from 1981.  
Looking at the graph, it is immediately obvious that people tended to use margarine and butter to put on their food much more than low fat and reduced fat products. Overall, butter and margarine usage experienced a downward trend, meanwhile there was an increase in the consumption of low fat and reduce spreads before falling slightly at the end of the period.  
  
In 1981, butter was the product consumed the most at approximately 141 grams, in comparison with margarine and reduced fat products at 86 grams and 0 grams respectively. In 1996, people started to use low fat and reduced spreads to put on their breads, and the figure continued to rise to more than 80 grams in 2001. However, from 1991 to 2001 margarine and butter registered a decline from 100 to 80 grams and 60 grams respectively.  
  
In 2009, the three categories examined decreased. Low fat and reduced spreads' consumption fell slightly at 70 grams, while margarine usage halved to about 40 grams and butter usage fell to nearly 60 grams.  
  
*
over the course of 26 years starting from 1981  
- Ending when? The information is incomplete. The summary must include the start and end date of the measurement chart. Otherwise, the information presented is incomplete. It is only a year you have to include, always include it. The reader needs to be told when it ended. They should not be expected to compute it for you. They will lose their train of thought and be stressed by the information presented. By the way, you forgot to include the reference to the measurements used in the summary (grams). That is part of the short information presentation requirement and adds to your TA score.  
  
I am not sure where you got the information about putting these spreads on bread. There is no indicator of that in the image presented. If no reference to such was made in the original image, then you should not be providing such inaccurate information to the reader. Keep the reference general because that is what you need to present, no added information that will alter the accuracy of your report. If it was included in the original prompt, then you should have included the original prompt with the image for my reference.
## the impact of internet on modern lives

  
  
**Topic: The internet has dramatically altered Our Lives over the past few decades although some of these changes have been negative the overall effect of this technology has been positive**  
  
The Internet has brought significant changes to our lives in recent years. Yet, there remains some disagreement as to whether the overall impact of this technology has been negative or positive. Personally, I believe that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks for several reasons.  
  
First of all, nobody can deny the fact that the Internet has revolutionized our way of communication. Thanks to the advantages of email and other internet chat programs like Viber or KakaoTalk, contacting with other people has never been easier. These incredibly useful and powerful tools facilitate contact with loved ones from faraway places and global trade.  
  
Moreover, the Internet has placed the entire world as well as its information at our fingertip. In earlier times, conducting researches involved hours of searching library shelves. Now, however, all of the information can be accessed through searching engines (Google) at a click of a button.  
  
On the other hand, it is obvious that not all the information available is reliable or helpful. For example, there are a number of materials online which is considered offensive or dangerous such as pornography or terrorism.  
  
By way of conclusion, despite some disadvantages, I once again restate my position that the Internet has had a positive impact on modern lives due to its influence on communication and the flow of information
There is a severe shortage in the word count for this essay. Presenting only 218 out of the required 250 words will definitely prevent you from getting a passing score once the overall deductions are completed in the final tally. Your essay is definitely under developed and under discussed. The thoughts are not clearly explained and lacks in proper example references. The short paragraphs are the main problem in your presentation. Do not rely on run on sentences to get you through the essay. Those will always end up costing your GRA deductions. If you can manage to stick to 5 sentences per paragraph, you will be able to meet most of the prompt formatting requirements, with a better focus on the LR, GRA, plus C&C scoring requirements.
**Question**:  
***Some people think that international tourism has bad impacts to local countries. Others believe this is a good trend.***  
## Discuss both views and give your opinion.

  
  
**Answer**:  
Over the past few decades, global tourism has become an area of focus to the general public. A typical argument is that this trend can create adverse effects on local habitats while others advocate this tendency. This essay will initiate firstly in analyzing both sides of this matter and then manifest my individual perspective.  
  
To commence with, it is undeniable that visitors coming from distinctive regions to a particular country for traveling can potentially generate drawbacks for indigenous residents. First, by paying a visit to tourist attractions, travelers may release various types of garbage which results in severe consequences for the environment. Equally important, the ease with which tourists carrying the cultural diversities were allowed to sacred locations namely shrines or temples makes it even more difficult for the native government to control tightly the conformity of their regulations in where worshiped the traditionally ancient deities. In the most renowned country of tourism, a variety of embarrassing performances were evidently caught the public attention and one of those is that the obligation about formal outfits in Thailand temples was taken for granted deliberately by the Western visitors.  
  
On the contradistinction, the survey shared by a sustainable statistic of economic experts is that tourism especially international aspects is one of the most valuable sources bringing to the local nations considerable profits and financial investments. To illustrate, universal tourism contributed obviously ten percent of the total GDP of Vietnam's economy in the annual statistic provided by the ministry of economy and finance in 2019, before the initiation of Covid-19 pandemic. In my way of thinking, the global tourism has demimental influences certainly to the indigenous habitats when local government endervoured to exploit thoroughly the diversity and abundance of natural environment in order to accomplish a sheer number of profits. In essence, when the natural environment took a lot of critical damage from tourism and human unconcious activities, our habitats will be impacted inevitably by relevantly unprecedented catastrophes in terms of earthquakes, droughts, floods, etc.  
  
In conclusion, international tourism affected seriously to the native nations albeit we cannot deny their obvious benefits. People should make a concrete effort to compensating for the injurious effects of tourism by various solutions in preserving traditional cultures and rehabilitating environmental damage.
Good work on the 2 restatement sentences. You covered the interpretation excellently. However, the need for the thesis statement is required. The thesis statement, one reason for each discussion + your opinion would have created a clear discussion path and personal opinion thesis for the presentation. Do not waste the word count with filler phrases like "To commence with" and "On the contradistinction". You get better scores by using a clear topic sentence in each paragraph as it shows a clear discussion path for the paragraph going forward. It allows the examiner to expect the discussion content with a clear reference to the original prompt discussion requirements.  
  
I realize that you want to impress the examiner by using complicated English words such as "contradistinction". However, when the word you use is only impressive, but not really fitting in the presentation, then the LR score is affected negatively. You can use ordinary, everyday English words and still get an impressive LR score. The word you use has to sound natural. It needs to show that you are familiar with the English language. Not that you know how to use a thesaurus or a dictionary. Do not be out to impress, be out to score well. Simple word references are not a bad thing, specially in this type of test.
TOPIC:  
## People today move to new cities or new countries more than ever before.

  
***What challenges do they experience? What strategies are there to meet these challenges?***  
  
Recently, the immigration of people to other cities or nations has been increasing more than it previously had. By moving out of their familiar zones, it is inevitable to have obstacles such as differences in culture and climate and can suffer loneliness. However, these problems can be mitigated by doing research about the destinations and joining clubs or associations to make friends.  
  
It is known that various places have different cultures which can cause culture shock due to relatively contrary lifestyles. For example, the two continents that have almost opposed cultures are Asia and America. To elaborate, Asian often care about the tradition of the country and also treasure family bonding time whereas the Western is more independent and usually does not have many rituals to abide by. One of the numerous strategies that can be dealt with this disparity is to research about the place's history and background story before going so as to have better preparation and can help adapt to the culture easier.  
  
Besides, there are other challenges such as the lonesomeness as well as a possibly contrasting climate from what they experience in their hometown. Firstly, people might leave their friends and families to be alone in completely new cities or countries which can lead to homesickness and loneliness. However, there are usually clubs or associations to join in order to make friends and create relationships. For instance, for foreign students, there are associations namely IDP which can assist overseas students to be accustomed to the new environment better. Furthermore, the variant weather can affect people's health if they are not adapted to it. Hence, similar to the culture, the climate should be checked prior to the migration in order to avoid unnecessary health issues.  
  
In conclusion, emigrating to another place has occurred more lately. Undoubtedly, there are challenges such as dissimilar culture and environment and feeling lonely. As a result, people should prepare themselves carefully and be more socialized to not be isolated in a different area.  
  
*I hope my essay is not too long this time. I wrote this in 40 mins.*
Yes, you wrote it within 40 minutes. However, you are still over explaining and using useless sentences that do not help move your explanations forward. You do not need to over extend each paragraph introduction. You need only topic sentences to kick off the discussion. The examiner is looking for your clarity of explanation within quick responses. Short but concise. Similar to writing an exam in a classroom setting. You should not over analyze and over discuss. The essay needs to focus on producing less writing errors such as in referencing the race of people, plural v. singular presentations, and proper sentence structures. It is not enough that you wrote a lot in 40 minutes. You have to write with the least number of errors within 40 minutes. That is the only way to assure yourself of a higher than passing score.