Fitri, with regards to the opening statement, this is used to judge your ability to restate the given prompt. The reviewer is looking for your degree of English understanding skills at this point which is why the first paragraph is called the paraphrase paragraph. You actually addressed the topic paraphrase very well. However, you mistook "gifted" and "talented" as two words with different meanings. They are not. A synonym of "gifted" is "talented" and vice versa. So you do not really differentiate between inborn and developed talents, which is what the reasoning sentence implies. In the discussion instruction, you made another mistake because you did not accurately paraphrase the directions for essay writing. Let me show you the original, your version, and the correct instruction paraphrase below:  
  
*Original Instruction: Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.  
Your Instruction: Both of them have their own strength which will be addressed in this essay.  
Correct Paraphrase: This essay will present discussions regarding both points of view along with my personal insight.*  
  
Another error of your essay is a very common mistake that most review beginners make. There is a tendency for you to discuss your personal opinion as the closing statement. Since the last paragraph is known as a concluding summary, it must do exactly that. Summarize the prompt for discussion in a different manner than the first, present a shortened list of discussion points, rephrase your personal opinion, then offer a closing sentence to appropriately end the essay. When you discuss your personal opinion in the concluding paragraph, you end up with an open ended essay, which means major points deductions in terms of TA considerations.  
  
You should be presenting a 5 paragraph essay here because the outline requires that. Only the Task 1 essay can pass for full scoring consideration with only 4 paragraphs. If you do not present a complete 3 body paragraph, you will not be able to strongly discuss this essay. The paragraphs should be discussed as follows:  
  
Par. 1 - Paraphrasing  
Par. 2 - First point of view discussion (the side you do not support)  
Par. 3 - Second point of view (the side you support)  
Par. 4 - Your point of view that integrates support of the previous paragraph (the side you support)  
Par. 5 - Concluding summary  
  
You must avoid quoting research, clubs, and groups because you will not have the ability to research during the actual test. The examiner does consider giving a higher score for personal knowledge and experiences. That is why I tell my students to rely on their personal background, friendships, and family or community relationships when using supporting evidence for their discussions. If the student truly does not have any of the aforementioned facts to share in the essay, then, I tell them, use popular knowledge or publicly known information. That way you don't need to worry about having to quote the source in the essay. Common sense in the discussion scores more than anything else you can present in terms of professionally cited information. The examiner considers the writer familiar with the topic when personal information and insight are included in the essay discussion presented. Which is why they tend to score the essay in a higher manner when considering the TA and C&C section of the essay.