dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
**In some countries young people have little leisure time and are under a lot of pressure to work hard in their studies.  
What do you think are the causes of this?  
What solutions can you suggest?**  
  
Nowadays, the youth spend most of time on studying without doing the things they like. Honestly, this phenomenon may led to lots of problems since they burden too much pressure.  
  
To begin with, I convinced that the most of pressure comes from their parents. Parents always expect their children being outstanding. In order to achieve the goal, parents will supervise their children whether they study hard. Secondly, it has become more and more competitive in modern society. People who are more extraordinary than the peer can be chosen to those top companies. Beside earning a living, people are seeking to be successful. These factors cause a lot of negative effects, such as disease, tension of society, moreover, the growth of suicide. People should considerate these problems seriously.  
  
I suppose the direct solution is to change people's concept that studying is not the only method to success. Therefore, we should start change it from the individual to the organization. People should advocate the parity of each occupation and realize that each occupation is respectable, the white-collar is not better than the blue-collar. Moreover, the government should fund a scholarship to encourage those have talent in sport, music and painting children.  
  
It cannot deny that studying is important to the young people since knowledge is the foundation of developing. But we have to agree with that under no circumstance should they scarify their leisure time for studying only, they deserve to explore the world without bearing any burden.
Arlen, this essay reads like a solid 5 to me in the scoring band. While the introductory paragraph is quite wanting in terms of a proper restatement of the prompt and a summary of the proceeding discussion, the overall opinion that you stated within the essay is not bad at all. You obviously have a strong opinion on the topic, which makes me think that you are perhaps speaking from experience. While your sentence development needs work and more familiarity with the English grammar rules and vocabulary is necessary, somehow, I found myself clearly understanding what it is that you are trying to say. That is the most important part of this test. The fact that the examiner can understand your message could very well gain you a passing score in this test. That is the most important consideration of all. I do believe that you will continue to improve over time. After all, you can already think in English. You just need to become fluent in thinking in English and writing using the language.
***Happiness is considered very important in life. Why is it difficult to define? What factors are important in achieving happiness?***  
  
We always hear many people decide an objective to their life is to be success, which success actually brings an important key of life that is happiness. However, people are difficult to explain the meaning of happiness is. In contrary, they know the aspects to attain the happiness. Further, this essay will discuss the topics.  
  
People ambitious are to be bliss, but when they are asked about happiness, they are dazed to explain it. This because many aspects can make people happy, even it is out of their expectation such as an unexpected simple thing. For instance, a beggar asks a woman's money, but a woman just gives him a piece of bread she has. Then, the beggar is gratitude and smile instead of it is out of his expectation. Therefore, cheerfulness is being hard to give a meaning, because it can be from a little thing that surprises us, but makes us to be grateful and have a good feeling.  
  
Besides, there is an objective to achieve happy things and it is influenced by some factors. In my view, one of them is attaining success. As an example, an IELTS catcher has learnt IELTS in formal course for three months. However, he has not achieved his score target. So, he forced himself to learn more over six months in his home before taking a real test. He finally got 6.5 of score then he was very happy and being grateful, even his aim was seven. It proves that having a good production of effort makes someone is happy.  
  
In conclusion, cheerfulness is the important thing that people aim in the life. It can be source from a simple thing which people are hard to elucidate. Moreover, accomplishing a successful thing can give people a happy life. 297w
Nur, you know that I only want you to improve in your writing skills right? That is why I am going to be honest with you and tell you that your essay will not score well if this had been a real IELTS test. I predict that an examiner would provide this essay with a low 5 in the band score. It would fail the test because of the problems that I hope to have you address by pointing them out here. There is a lack of proper thought development and sentence structure in the paper. Your vocabulary usage causes stress for the reader because the words you opt to use do not always apply to the obvious message of the essay. For example, what you do you mean by an "IELTS catcher"? The term does not make sense and has the reader wondering about what you are trying to explain. Did you mean "exam taker" instead? Or perhaps something similar?
A comparison of information about proportion on various consumption sectors in five different states in 2002 is shown in the table. Overall, food, drink and tobacco had the highest percentage while expenditure for leisure and school had the lowest percentage in those countries.  
  
For meal, refreshment, and tobacco had the smallest proportion in Sweden only 15.77%. In Spain and Italy, both had under a fifth in that sector. The greatest proportion was Turkey at 32.14%  
  
Italy spent for clothing or footwear is the most than other countries. Irealand, Spain, and Turkey had outcome at the same category for about six percent. The least of spending in this part is Sweden in a very small number 5%.  
  
Spare time and education had under one in twenty in all countries. It became the lowest consumption than other sectors. Sweden had 0.02 percent higher than Italy while Spain spent not more than 2% in this section.  
  
*
Meireza, the first and foremost problem that I can see in the way that this essay was written lies in the method by which you composed each paragraph. Each paragraph should have a minimum of 3 sentences each. The introduction should run longer at a maximum of 5 sentences because that paragraph dictates the discussion that will be presented in the succeeding paragraphs. A short overview indicates that you are unable to understand the illustration that you were provided and therefore, you tried to avoid explaining or sharing the information that you were given in summary form. The same goes for the succeeding paragraphs. You are supposed to be able to accurately explain the figures presented in an essay / research form that will inform the reader regarding the content of the essay. However, by keeping the report down to a minimum, there is now a perception that you are unable to form coherent sentences in English and most likely, you do not have a good grasp of English grammar. You need to present fully developed sentences and paragraphs in order to prove your ability to understand and share the information that the illustrations you must refer to provides.
***The table above gives information on consumer spending on different items in five different countries in 2002. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.***  
  
The table show the percentage of number of customer spending their money on some items in five different countries in 2002. Overall, the highest percentage came from Turkey, on the other hand the least number came from Sweden.  
  
As is presented on the table, Turkey was the most spent money for private needs and academic needs, which spent for primary consumption such as food, drink and tobacco, at 32,14. It was the highest number for spend in leisure and school, at 4,35. The second highest came from Ireland, which paid 28,91 for tobacco and food. Meanwhile, it is very little to spent for leisure, at 2,21. In contrast, Italy has highest number to spend budget for clothes, at nine and spend for education. It was the second percentage, at about three.  
  
There is no significant number happened of Spain that spend under two percent for education. It was the least number compare to other countries of education and holiday. Generally, the least percentage of several items that measures it was Sweden, which had just 15,77 spend for food and drink that spent at three for education needs (187w)  
  
*
Bada, when you summarize your report, you should make sure to mention a complete overview of the information in the first paragraph. So you should have delivered the name of all 5 countries and an overview of their expenses within the first 5 sentences of the essay. That is how a complete and accurate summary is presented in this essay. The scoring range for this would be either 4 or 5 depending upon the way that the examiner would perceive the number of errors in presentation within the essay. Personally, I believe it should get a 5. However, the inaccuracy in the summary statement in the first paragraph could have a great effect on the final outcome of an actual test. So I am scoring it a 5 with reservations regarding the problems I noted above. Please note that the problem with the essay can easily be resolved by simply making sure that all summary information is noted in the first paragraph.
***Happiness is considered very important in life. Why is it difficult to define? What factors are important in achieving happiness?***  
  
From the past time until now and maybe in the future, joyfulness is the key to make our life become meaningful. Some argue that lot of money, luxurious clothes, jewelry will be useless if the people cannot live happily. Meanwhile, although people live in poor and hunger condition, but usually they can enjoy their live because they already know what the way of their life.  
  
I personally agree if happiness is hard to define. Taken example of that, if some psychologist asked about the way to become happy, they have different answers and it can be concluded that every person has no similarity in their pattern to become happy. Wealthy people has their own way to get comfortable feeling. They usually share their worth and make donation for orphanage, street children, and some social organization. Sometimes they also invite the children to their home, make an event that they can laugh together, and give souvenirs when they back to the home. In contrast, poor people cannot do this. They help other people with their energy and skills. For instance, they can help to build their neighbor home, sometimes give snack even meals to the children around their home, also teach some knowledge to other without any fee.  
  
Based on the previous paragraph that already explained, we can sum it into one key-factor. Happiness can be achieved if the people helpful or give many benefit with their surroundings. Although if they only can give a little piece of smile but it will give positive energy to other. Furthermore, one thing that become the ultimately important is feeling sincere without hope any response to the people that helped.  
  
All in all, life is become convenient if we feel happy every day. It will bring positive energy to be more productive in the work, and to be more relaxed when we take a rest.
Faiz, on a scoring band, this will most likely be a 6. That is a very good score considering the impediments to expression that are evident in your essay. It is good that although your use of the English language is somewhat limited and confused, you still managed to make yourself understood in every paragraph. That is what is important you know. Regardless of the problem in grammar usage and sentence development, you still manage to get your message across. While it might take a little guesswork on the part of the reader, you get the job done. Using simple grammar doesn't mean you are bad at English, it just means you want to make sure that you express yourself well. However, you will need to work on that familiarity in order to bring a sense of fluency to your written discussions. If you can think fluidly in English, you will most likely, be able to write (almost) flawlessly in English as well.
**Happiness is considered very important in life. Why is it difficult to define? What factors are important in achieving happiness?**  
  
Happiness is an abstract thing that cannot be measured. Everyone has their own happiness. People's happiness marked that they have satisfied in their life. Happiness can affect on society health and related to life expectancy of inhabitants. This reason covered why happiness deliberated as really important thing in life. But people happiness is not really hard to find since we can create by ourselves.  
  
Some people believe, happiness is fuels of life. People feel alive when they happy, joy, or delightful. In fact, society feel they are in competition to get happiness. At present, people argue that happiness is wealth. They hold that they feel happy when they can buy luxury goods, the newest car, or go on abroad vacation. All of their happiness, they linked to material. It is the reason why people sometimes think it is so hard to find happiness. Whereas, we can create our own happiness regardless of wealth. Quite thankful with simple things that we have is the most easy way to get happiness such as family, friends, or our beloved person.  
  
A psychiatrist in Harvard University, Robbert Waldinger that discovered study about people happiness. The research holds for 75 years and resulted surprising fact. There are three reasons of people happiness, first is have an intimate relationship. Having a beautiful relationship, warm family or social community prevent people from being lonely. Since close relationship effect to people health both mental and physical. The second is increasing of relationship quality. Make a lot of friends sounds good, but as fine goes many people agree that quality of their relationship give a bigger impact than have many friends. Due to humans are social being, we need to help each other and we feel better if we ask to our close friends or family than the far one. The last is have a stable wedding and supporting each other. Study shows people who have healthy physics and mental when they have a great wedding life, such as never divorce, separate, and got big problem.  
  
All in all, happiness is something that presence in our life which affect to all of aspects in our life. We do not need to search it everywhere as we can form it by ourselves from simple things in our surrounding.
Hi nur, I want to make some comments  
  
1. People feel alive when they are happy, joy, or delightful ...  
After conjunction when, it needs verb. Because it happens in the present, the verb is 'are'  
  
2. ... Robbert Waldinger,~~that~~ discovered study about ...  
You can use comma after 'Robbert Waldinger', to stress explanation about 'A psychiatrist in Harvard University'  
  
3. Since close relationship ~~effect~~affect to people health ...  
  
Thank you  
Keep writing
HELLO,  
  
Happiness can affect onsociety [possessiveness >> society's health ] health and related to life expectancy [you may use "expectation"] of inhabitants.  
People feel alive when they [are ] happy, joy, or delightful.  
  
Some people believe, happiness is [...] people argue that happiness is wealth...  
I do not find " Why is it difficult to define?" since you tend to explain "why happiness difficult to find"  
  
... University, Robbert Waldinger ~~that~~ discovered study ...  
  
... and resulted surprising fact. >> it is better to use present perfect tense  
**The research has been held for 75 years and has resulted surprising fact.**  
  
... of people happiness, [**the first/ firstly**] first is have an intimate relationship  
  
Since close relationshipeffect [affect ] to people health ...  
  
... which affect to all ~~of~~ aspects in our life.  
  
GLUCK:D
Hi. Here are my suggestions for you.  
  
... happiness is the fuel~~s~~ of life.  
... when they are happy, joy, or delightful. In fact, society feels they are in ...  
At present, people ~~argue~~believe that happiness is wealth.  
  
All of their happiness~~, they~~are linked to material. ~~It is~~ the reason why people sometimes think ~~it~~this is so hard...  
  
that we have is the ~~most easy~~easiest way to get happiness ...  
  
The research holds for 75 years ~~and~~then ~~resulted~~resulting a surprising fact.  
... of people happiness,(.)the first is ~~have~~having an intimate relationship.  
... family or social community prevents people ~~from~~of being lonely. Since close relationship ~~effect~~affect to people health both ...  
The second is ~~increasing~~the quality of relationship ~~quality~~ .  
  
Due to humans are a social being, we need (...) if we ask ~~to~~ our close friends ...  
The last is ~~have~~**having** a stable family relationship~~wedding~~ and supporting each other.  
  
Goodluck and Keep Spirited
Hello Aini!  
  
I do not find you answer all the prompt here.  
You have answer with good point all the question except "Why is it difficult to define?"  
Look at you body paragraph below:  
  
It is the reason why people sometimes [...], or our beloved person.  
I think you have misunderstood with prompt.  
You explain about why it difficult to find  
I think you cannot get the task response with that task  
Tenses in your task also have to repaired. I think, it is your big problem.  
  
You should be better for the task.  
Hope it helps you:)
**The table gives information on consumer spending on different items in five different countries in 2002.**  
  
The table illustrates the information about the percentage of items that people buy in five different countries in 2002. Overall, it can be seen that food/drink/tobacco dominated item which was bought over five countries while leisure/education was less favorite.  
  
Turkey has the biggest percentage in food/drink/tobacco item at 32.14 percent when Sweden was the smallest at 15.77 percent. This category always has the percentage above 15 percent. The next item was clothing/footwear which is dominated by Italy at 9 percent while Sweden was the smallest at 5.40 percent. The last item was leisure/education which has score under 5 percent. Spain has the smallest percentage at 1.98 percent and the smallest from the all items.  
  
Sweden has the lowest percentage in two items at 15.77 percent and 5.40 percent when Turkey has the highest percentage in two items at 32.14 percent and 4.35 percent. The second fovurite item was clothing/footwear which has the percentage between 5 percent and 10 percent.
hello Mr. Mardian..  
this is my suggestion for you  
  
... leisure/education was less ~~favorite~~favourite .  
  
.../tobacco item at 32.14 percent when Sweden (...) at 15.77 percen t.  
... percentage above 15 percen t.  
... dominated by Italy at 9 percent while Sweden (...) at 5.40 percent.  
... has score under 5percent .  
... percentage at 1.98percent and the smallest ...  
  
... percentage in two items(two item containing....) at 15.77 percent (...) in two items at 32.14 percent and 4.35 percent . The second ~~fovurite~~favourite item was clothing/footwear (...) between 5 ~~percent~~ and 10 percent .  
  
Percent==> to avoid repetition, you should mention it in introduction  
maybe, you should attach your table inasmuch as other people do not know your data
Hello Mardian!  
I want to give you some suggestion.  
  
it can be seen that food/drink/tobacco dominated  
food/drink/tobacco = diet  
*it can be seen that diet dominated*  
  
... which is dominated by Italy at 9 percent  
by -> use for the differences  
*...which was dominated in Italy at 9 percent*  
  
*The second favorite item was clothing/footwear ...*  
  
Just for suggestion, it will better if you use "the things" as comparison not the country.  
It will easy for you to make the comparison for each country and each goods.  
  
Hope it helps you :)
**Happiness is considered very important in life. Why is it difficult to define? What factors are important in achieving happiness?**  
  
Satisfaction is the purpose all of people who live in the world. Without that, people cannot survive in their life. Happiness is the essential matter that it complicates to explain because there are several ways to make people enjoy.  
  
Happiness is one factor that makes people have long age. People have different level of satisfaction. For instance, for family who have low financial, they can eat three times a day that it can give blissfulness for them. But, for other people it is not sure to give happiness because they thing it is just simple matter that all of people can get every day. Besides, there are people who must have luxury items to make them happy. For example, young adult must have sophisticated hand phone to show up to their friend. With this way they can feel happy, but the other says that with customary hand phone, they are happy because they can call or send messages to other. So, these are reasons why happiness is difficult to explain.  
  
There are several factors make people happy. Firstly is family. With full family someone already enjoy because family is the centre of life. Without family people can feel something less in their life. Secondly is success. Success people can feel happy because they can buy many things that they want. For example, workers who success in their job, they can get well-paid job and they can help other people who need aid of financial. Thirdly is healthy life. People can do many activities if they have extra energy, power full body, and good mental. So, it can make them satisfied.  
  
All in all, many aspects can make someone enjoy. We do not know what make other people happy, because many ways and many simple things can make people happy. Personally, I believe that without happiness someone will not survive and enjoy because satisfaction is essential factor in people's life.
Hello,  
  
... phone to show up ~~to~~ their friend(S) .  
..., but the other say~~s~~ that with customary ...  
  
With full family (need comma here ) someone already enjoy(S) because family ...  
Success(FULL) people can feel ...  
... extra energy, power full (it can be connected to "powerful" ) body, and good mental (mentality ).  
  
Gluck
Everybody wants to be happy. I believe that achieving happiness do not difficult. It is depend on their self about their willingness and needs in future.  
  
Last time, I have read status in social network that said "happiness is so simply, just laughing and living together with our family". However, this statement is not wrong. Whereas, simple or difficulties for being happy is a choice for everybody, and they have same right to be happy.  
  
On one hand, people have difference ways to achieve satisfaction. It is depend on their dream and needs. For example Dayak people who live in remote areas in Borneo. They live in darkness without advance technology and higher education. They always fill free and live in sufficiency. They think, it is their comfort zone and having happy.  
  
Meanwhile, other example is story of my live. I have lived in modern era with advance technology. Furthermore, I have studied in collage and have many friends. However, right now, I do not fill happy yet owing to the fact that I have high dream for my future live. To achieve that, I should work hard and struggle. I think that I will be happy if I can achieve my dream.  
  
All in all, every person has own way to be joyful. Being simply or difficulties on the way to be happy that is depend on their self. I suggest that we should relax and always be grateful in every condition in order to achieve that inasmuch as it will bring about serenity in our live.