dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
The student needs to review his indefinite article usage. "A" is used before consonant sounds while "an" is used before vowel sounds. He shows confusion with regards to indefinite article usage. His noun usage is also problematic as he does not recognize that there are singular and plural noun forms. "That" is singular", "those " are plural. The same goes for "quadrillion " When used to ufer to a specific numerical measurement. It is not "quadrillions". Vocabulary skills also need development as the student tends to confuse his word usage. " Quiet" means silence while "quite" is an adverb meaning "wholly". The student must pay.more allention to his grammar and vocabulary lessons to avoid serious LR and GRA deductions. These are the error areas that will result in a failed test.
***Everybody should donate a fixed amount of their income to support charity.***  
How far do you share this viewpoint?  
  
Incomes seem to be increasing around the world due to globalization, so as the number of people who needs support from others, making charity more important. It appears to me that people should come forward to contribute to charity as it is easy to do as well as has other benefits too, which will be discussed in this essay.  
  
For middle to high-class individuals and families, donating a fixed sum of their money should not be any issue. This is because they can easily create separate spaces in their monthly budgets for such assistance and then compare it with unnecessary expenses to decide whether they want to keep spending money for things like excessive alcohol, cigarettes, and junk/processed food or simply wants to help the welfare organisations to pay it forward to the needy ones. Secondly, the kind act of charity also gives a sense of satisfaction as the donators are satisfied that they are also giving back to society in this particular form. Lastly, contributing to charity also comes with tax benefits in the form of 'tax-deduction free expenses' as governments around the world fix attractive limits for the same to attract the taxpayers to participate in such a noble cause.  
  
It appears to be true that numerous earners are not very keen to the idea of donations. They seem to be concerned about factors like ever-increasing cost of living due to rising inflation rates around the globe. Nonetheless, same dynamics can be easily neutralized by managing expenses, and investing by taking calculated risks.  
  
In summary, contributions to the welfare organizations should be made by earning individuals because as per my view it is easy to do so by limiting the materialistic expenses by small degrees, it also gives a sense of satisfaction, and lastly, it comes with tax benefits too.
Keep the sentence presentations simple. The writer is trying to unsuccessfully write advanced format and complicated word usage. The following should be rewritten as:  
  
so as the number of people who needs support from others  
- ... so too are the number...  
  
The reason for the error is clear, it is a run-on presentation. For clarity and proper formatting, avoid writing long sentences. Individual reference sentences always work best.  
  
Since only the viewpoint is essential to the discussion, the benefits represent a prompt deviation. That section of writing is non-essential and therefore, non-scoring. The essay score will not meet the passing requirements as the actual discussion points, as required are not properly developed. The essay strayed from the required discussion . That is the only reason for the scoredown.
## Tourist Information Office enquiries

  
  
The given line graph compares the number of enquiries sent to the Tourist Information Office in a city in the first half of 2011.  
  
Overall, the number of enquiries submitted in person and those sent by telephone significantly increased over the six-month period. It is also clear that, the number of enquiries made by letter/email was by far the lowest.  
  
In the first month of 2011, just around 400 enquiries were sent to the Tourist Information office in person. This figure doubled in March, before steeply rose to its peach in June, with 1900 enquiries. The enquiries undertaken by telephone slightly fell from 900 in January to 800 in February. Enquiries by telephone leveled off for the next two months, and saw a similar rising trend to enquiries made in person for the last three months, finally reaching its peak with 1600 enquiries at the end of the period.  
  
Reversely, the number of enquiries made by letter/email saw a gradual decline all of the period. It started with nearly 800 enquiries in January and remained quite stable for the first three months. From March to May, it decreased by half, from 700 to nearly 400, and remained at 400 the same in June.
Be aware of English word differences. A peach is a type of fruit. A peak is the summit of a measurement (in this case). Incorrect word usage affects the clarity of the sentence subject. It is a grammar problem that directly relates to the lerical resources of the student as well. There are 3 scoring sections that will see reductions due to incorrect word usage:  
  
- LR  
- C + C  
- G R A  
  
One mistake causes a negative chain reaction in the scoring consideration. That is why the writer must have accurate word usage and a proofreading skill when writing opinion essays. The rest of the report is acceptable. I cannot determine it's accuracy though due to the lack of image.
## report about consumption of energy

  
  
The line graph illustrates both fossil fuel energy and clean energy consumption in the USA started from 1980 with predictions until 2030.  
  
Overall, fossil fuel energy (Petrol and Oil, Coal, Natural Gas) were widely used then clean energy and had experienced a moderate growth within the period. In contrast, clean energy (Nuclear, Solar wind, Hydropower) rarely consumed, fluctuated throughout the period.  
  
Petrol and Oil started at 35 quadrillion unit fluctuated until 1995 followed by a gradual rise and is assumed to continue. Likewise, coal and natural gas started at 15 and 20 respectively. Natural gas fluctuated and reached a plateau just under 25 in 2015, while coal slightly increase after 2015 and is predicted to reach 30 in 2030.  
  
On the other Hand, clean energy stood just under 5 in 1980, fluctuated until 2005, Hydropower experienced a mile declination and stayed constant at about 3 units in 2010. Nuclear rose moderately and expected to exceed 5 units in 2030.  
  
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The report, makes sense even though the writer has problems with word usage and sentence formation. Where the writer was ultra-focused on word usage in the previous task exercise, he seemed not to care about his written presentation this time around. There is a clear lack of editing and correction application in the presentation. The mistakes are enough to cause severe penalties in at least 3 scoring sections. Perhaps the writer wanted to fail in this exercise. He just did not care about getting a good score this time. It is evident that he needs to develop his homonym usage skills to allow for better sentence structure, development, and presentation.
It is recommended that you indicate the report of the past in the first graph, and the prediction in the second graph to keep it coherent.  
  
As one of the tasks in Writing task 1 is *make comparisons where relevant*, you must clarify the different between figures, not describe them separately.  
For instance, you can compare the amount of energy consumed in 1980 (*in 1980, petrol and oil was the dominant type of energy with..., followed by natural gas and oil, ect*) instead of indicate them one by one like *Petrol and Oil started at*.
***In the past, people wore their traditional clothes and followed their culture. These days, most people wear similar clothes and therefore look very similar to one another.***  
  
## Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

  
  
It is common in modern society that people have tendency to choose similar outfits for their daily activities, rendering the disapperance of traditional clothes. Notwithstanding some positive aspects regarding to personal images, personally, I am more convinced that the drawbacks are by far serious and should not be overlooked.  
  
On the one hand, it is undeniable that traditional outfits are often bulky and not comfortable outfits. For example, Ao Dai, which is a famous traditional clothes of Vietnam has a complicated designs, making them bulky and not suitable for activities, resulting in only being wore on special occasions. Another reason why people usually opt for modern clothes as their daily outfits is because they enhance people's confidence in social situations. In other words, more often than not people associate following the newest fashion trends with a sign of modernity, making people obsessed with appearing trendy in the eyes of others.  
  
On the other hand, traditional outfits are more than types of clothing but representations of culture and identity, making them indispensible items. Wearing these outfits helps people to be in touch with their ancestral culture and symbolizes unity. As a result, let go of them will be like discarding their own culture. Moreover, if people wear similar outfits and become undifferentiated from others, they become confued about their identity and not have a deep connection with their roots. These implications could leave negative impacts on the preserve of national culture values.  
  
In conclusion, although modern outfits bring convenience and confidence for people, the absence of traditional clothes leads to the loss of culture and identity. Therefore, I am an opinion that negative impacts of this trend outweight its positive ones.
Never justify the side that you do not support. Not unless there is away that the opposing aspect / non-supported stance will be discussed as a negative to prove the writer's point. This is a written debate. The reasoning consideration should work on the premise that a commonly accepted positive is actually a negative and, a negative is just that, a negative.  
  
The current presentation does not offer a clear defense of the writer's opinion. That has a negative TA effect. The . presented is not fully supported in the reasoning paragraphs. A clear indication that the writer himself is not convinced he has a winnable argument presented. A well developed essay can support the writer's opinion based on 2 strong and convincing reasons. This essay only partially implements that expected discussion.
Never support the side that you disagree with. The writer should not be using "on the other hand" at the beginning of the paragraph in two paragraphs  
  
The presentation does not offer a clear defense of the writer's opinion and it is not supported by reasoning paragraphs. It is not convincing enough for readers because of poor indication.  
  
The writer should do brainstorming before writing and come up with 2 strong and convincing reasons and examples.
## The column chart gives information about the places visited by different people in Australia.

  
  
The bar chart depicts data on four different leisure sites dropped in on by 3 distinct groups residing in Australia.  
Overall,cinema is the most popular places listed in the chart,while the lowest percentage of people visited the theatre.It is also noticeable that new migrants for whom English is not the first language do not visit almost these places as regularly as the two other groups.  
  
Non-English-speaking migrants spend their time most on library, nearly 55 percent,this figure is followed by recently arrived immigrants from English-speaking countries and native Australians at roughly 40 percent.However ,70 percent non-migrants are cinema-goers compared to 65 percent new-migrants born in Australia and half the migrants where English is not widely spoken.  
  
Zoo is visited by half new migrants born in English-speaking countries ,compared to people born in Australia and new migrants born in other countries,at 41 percent and 35 percent respectively.Turning to the theatre,the rank do not change which the percentage of non-English-speaking migrants is the lowest for all concerned with 10 percent,while the figure for native Australian is 20 percents.A quarter of new migrants born in English-speaking nations are theatre-goers.  
  
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The writing approach for this essay is unique in the sense that it should follow a distinct comparative pattern over 4 paragraph. A clear comparison for each group should be completed based on the place visited and the relevant measurement for each of the 3 sectors. That is how the essay becomes clear and easy for the leader to follow and understand. The current presentation is all over the place, lacking a clear paragraph focus/ topic each time. Avoid confusing the presentation by suddenly inserting other places and measurements. That is not the only way to write this report. Use individual comparisons when it will add clarity and coherence to the report.
## American single-family houses

  
  
*TOPIC:*  
The line graph below shows the number of single-family homes constructed in the United States by region over a period of six years.  
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting in the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.  
  
**Answer:**  
The provided graph gives comparative data about how many American single-family houses were built in four different areas over the course of six years starting from 2006.  
  
A glance at the graph reveals that a significant majority of the residential constructions were in the South region, but the reverse was the case for the Northeast area. It can also be observed that most houses were built in 2006, however, all four regions witnessed a notable decline after that.  
  
Since 2006, the South remained to be the region with most houses constructed. Over the next four years, it experienced a dramatic collapse before reaching the nadir in 2010, which was followed by a slight increase to roughly 350,000 homes two years later. On the contrary, a steady downward tendency was recorded in the Northeast region, which hit the bottom-most point at well beneath 100,000 houses in 2012.  
  
A similar pattern can be seen for the remaining two areas. After a brief peak, the numbers in the West and Midwest regions dropped to approximately 200,000 in 2008 and continued to do so over the next two years. However, in comparison to the West, which witnessed a mild rise to about 150,000 constructions, the Midwest showed a stability in 2012.  
  
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The comparisons presented do not cover an equal comparison of the 4 regions. The writer always does a complete analysis of the first region in the paragraph, then only skims the information and discussion for the second region. So the analyses and comparison , though quite wordy, is not really an academic analysis of the image provided.  
  
Even though the writer has presented the correct information, there was still a lack of proofreading and editing of the content. The writer tried to use advanced English words that are specific to a particular field such as astronomy (nadir). While impressive the meaning of the word does not apply to this discussion. Expect LR deductions for other unrelated word usage.
The phrase ***A glance at the graph reveals that*** sounds unnatural and informal in a Writing task 1 since it is overused by many English centre. You should replace it with phrases such as ***It is noticeable that***.  
  
Too formal and academic words like ***nadir*** (*it experienced a dramatic collapse before reaching the **nadir** in 2010*) are not expected in Writing task 1 also. I would use ***the lowest rate/point***  
  
As there is a same downward pattern in all regions from 2006 to 2010, you should describe the change between 2006 and 2010 in the first graph, and the remaining period in the second graph in order to stay coherent.
## All teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community

  
  
Many schools started proposing students' mandatory volunteering in their free time to serve the communities. In my point of view, it does make sense for students to get involved in voluntary programs during their free time; however, they should never feel pressured or be ordered to participate in such programs.  
  
It is inevitable that teenagers can reap many benefits when they dedicate time to give back to their communities. This is especially evident in the context of students with less social experience wanting to step out of their comfort zone and increase their salience. As youngsters are heavily engaged in academic environments, most of them might lack social skills for the sake of their future life. With frequent interaction with people from all social backgrounds, those prosocial activities can equip students with transferable skills for the demands of the working world, such as interpersonal and leadership skills. Also, that students include their volunteer experience in their curriculum vitae might be a striking point compared to their cohorts. That is the very reason why volunteering-related activities give students vital skills in readiness for later life.  
  
On the flip side, that these volunteering programs are mandated would defeat the purpose of volunteering. That is to say, the mentioned merits might counteract students' effort to contribute if they are not willing to participate in voluntary activities. Take ignorance as an example. If a teen is ignorant of volunteering benefits, he will likely do as the minimum required and volunteer only to fulfil this mandatory assignment. What is worse, when it comes to finding the balance between schoolwork and community work, students may encounter acute and in the long term encounter chronic stress. This could turn a voluntary activity into a grievous burden, causing a corrosive effect on the volunteer's prosocial values.  
  
In brief, volunteering is a rewarding extracurricular activity that students can do for the community of their own free will. Therefore, it is suggested that they should not be coerced to engage in the activity.
The writer has changed the original topic reference from "people" to schools. While the opinion response is correct, the thesis statement changed the discussion slant, leading to an unrelated task response. Why is the thesis statement incorrect? The response only asks for qualified reasons to agree or disagree, depending on the writer's chosen opinion. It does not ask the writer to indicate parameters for the volunteer participation. So the opinion essay no longer adheres to the agree or disagree requirements.  
  
Since there is an unrelated discussion presented, that portion will not be given a scoring consideration. While the essay still meets the word count, the presentation is now seen as lacking in fully developed discussion points. The writer might fail to get a passing score overall. The unrelated paragraph will work better in an extent essay presentation.
The topic is about the relevance of traditional subjects being taught in school. Traditional subjects cover classes taught such as reading , writing , math, science , languages, history, etc. These are the topics (subjects ) learned when attending school. Academic performance relates to the grades or level of learning / learning ability of the student. Based on there differences, it is easy to understand why the prompt restatement is incorrect. When considering that the discussion question asks : "to what extent do you agree or disagree?", it also appears that the question response is incorrect in both the restatement + opinion and concluding summary paragraphs. The task is never accurately represented in both TA score based paragraphs.  
  
The student is attempting to focus on vocabulary skills to enhance this score. The problem with this, is that the advanced English words do not really apply to everyday English writing. The student obviously used a dictionary while writing and based his word usage on "complicated"' word choices, requiring an academic specially to understand what he is saying when simple everyday english would have sufficed and prevented GRA and LR reductions due to incorrect word usage and confusing statements. Had the writer written a simply worded essay within 250-300 words, these mistakes would have been avoided.
## The gender of schools teachers in the UK

  
  
The bar chart illustrates the gender distribution of teachers working across a range of school levels in the UK in 2010.  
Overall, it is obvious that in pre-school, primary school and secondary level continue to be female- dominated; however, women have less significantly presence than men in fields related to higher education levels. But the special thing is that the employment rate of both sexes is equal in college.  
  
In half of different types of educational environment, females outnumbered more than males. The gender gap was particularly large in nursery and elementary school, where there were ten to nineteen times as percentage of female teachers as male teachers. In secondary school, while the proportion of women teaching accounted for over 50 percent, the figure for men was less than 50 percent at the same time.  
  
Moving on to the remaining fields, in comparison with the ratio of male teachers in the UK, which took up about 54 percent in 2010, the percentage of female teachers was at around 46 percent. If women working was the proportion highest in pre-school, this ratio in men teaching was at university at 70 percent. Finally, the employment rate of both men and women tied at 50 percent in college.
The lack of image reference for me to refer to prevents me from being properly helpful with my advise to this student. I am concerned about the accuracy of the data provided. This is worrisome because the sentences and overall paragraphs have several presentation problems that prevent a clear understanding of the report. Lessons in preposition, adjective, and adverb usage are necessary. Formation of sentences around these writing rules will help being a better structure and clearer information references in the sentences and paragraphs. The varied punctuation usage is a plus for the writer though as it shows an attempt on the writeris part to add dimension to his writing.
## WRITING TASK 1 (The line graph):

  
  
The line graph illustrates the number of Vietnamese students studying abroad in three countries, namely France, Russia and America from 2000 to 2015.  
Overall, it can be seen that while the figure for foreign students applying to France and America increased over the period, Russia saw a decline. In addition, America experienced the biggest upward trend in the study overseas of Vietnamese pupils. Besides, it is also noticeable to note that Russia never surpassed France in studying abroad for Vietnamese students.  
  
Looking at the graph in more detail, in 2000, the figure for Vietnamese students studying abroad in America was nearly 1.5 millions, in comparison with France and Russia was 3.5 millions and 3 millions respectively. Five years later, America witnessed a significant increase of 500 thousand in the number of students in Vietnam. Whereas, there was a decrease by approximately 1 million in applying to Russia and France.  
  
Over the next five years, the amount of studying abroad of Vietnamese students in France remained unchanged at roughly 2.5 millions. At the same time, the figure for those students grew continually in America. By contrast, in Russia, there was a drop to below 2 millions pupils. From the year 2010 onwards, the number of Vietnamese students attending school rose in all three nations. To be more specific, America reached the highest point of 5 millions people, followed by France with the number of about 4.8 millions students and the lowest number was Russia at 2.5 millions.  
  
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*Writing task 1*