dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
Faiz, at first glance, I am not really sure that you can write like this in actual test due to time limitation. Writing more than 200 words is indeed time-consuming. You wrote 259 words for this essay and it would bring detrimental towards task 2. Remember, task 2 is worth twice than task 1. Therefore, you need to practice on how to create a perfect time-management for and IELTS writing test.  
  
However, aside from that, I still can see some rooms for improvements in relation to grammatical range and accuracy. Let me try to rephrase your introduction in order to help you to summarize the main features and select the appropriate information in the bar chart.  
  
*A breakdown of the information about expenditure usage for five chosen categories in the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom, and Japan is depicted in the bar chart. It is measured in percentage in 2009. Overall, it can be seen that, housing appeared as the most favourite expenditure amidst other categories, and it was dominated by the United States in the whole period.*  
  
Hope this helps :)
Happy is the most important and main feature which be necessary for life today and the next too. Some people be happy because anythings, mainly job factors. However, the area where someone living or working and also there are people who cherish with us which other factors is more important too.  
  
If someone has a job which they love doing, the people will be happy. The life always has many jobs that must be finished very well. On the other hand, some people have to enjoy it in order to be happy. For the example, every day, the students have some tasks, such as science, math, english etc, finally we must do it with the best way to get high score else. If the students loving do this task, they will finish the work successfully and be satisfy. Furthermore, if the students unsatisfied with the job, they will be stress and more lazy to do else.  
  
The other factors are more important in order to someone be happy that are the environment where they living or working, and also there are people who cherish with us. The surrounding of life or work has main factor that make the someone be happy. In my view, the area will give many influences, well positive or negatif impact for someone get their happy. If our area is not support, we will not finish the task very well. The opposite said that if the area is espouse us, we will give the best task else. Furthermore, the people are main important factor which need by needed by someone to be happy. The people who cherish with us will give positive energy for our self and the our brain respon with it, finally we can be happy automatically.  
  
The conclusion is many factors will make some people be happy which depend to love something that we do, the place where are life or work, and people who support us.
HELLO YURIKE, GUESS ME WHO? HAHA  
  
~~Happy~~ HAPPINESS is the most important and THE main feature which ~~be~~ IS necessary for ~~life today~~ TODAY'S LIFE and ~~the next too~~ IN THE FUTURE.  
1. HAPPY ---> ADJECTIVE. MAKE SURE IT BECOMES NOUN---> HAPPINESS  
  
2. DON'T FORGET TO PUT ARTICLE "THE"  
  
3. LIFE TODAY ---> INAPPROPRIATE.  
  
4 NEXT TOO ---> UNCLEAR MEANING ---> CHANGES INTO WORD THAT CAN MAKE THE READER CLEARLY UNDERSTAND  
  
I suggest you must study grammar again Yurike, Keep fight, see you in Europe ^^
HELLO YURIKE, HERE ARE MY SUGGESTIONS FOR YOU..  
  
Happy (HAPPINESS ) is the most (...) which (IT BECOMES ) ~~be~~ necessary for life today and the next too (it is better if you use FOR THE FUTURE ). Some people ~~be~~ (ARE ) happy  
  
... where someone IS living or (...) are people who ARE cherish with us which other factorsisARE more important too.  
  
... which they love TO DO~~doing~~ , the people will be happy. The life always has many ...  
For ~~the~~ example, every day, (...) best way to get THE high score else . If the students lovingLOVE do thisTHESE taskS, they will finish ...  
  
... important in order to MAKE someone be happy (...) where they ARE living orworking, and also there are people who cherish with us.  
... main factor that make ~~the~~ someone be happy. I  
... give many influences, ~~well~~EITHER positive or negatif impactS for someone TO get their happy (HAPPINESS ). If our area isDOES not support US, we will not finish ...  
  
... important factor which need by needed by (NEED EACH OTHER TO BE HAPPY ) someone to be happy.  
  
The conclusion is many factors will make some people be ... (YOU SHOULD PARAPHRASE THE PROMPT SHORTLY HERE THEN COMBINE WITH THE ANSWERS OF THE QUESTION THAT YOU HAVE EXPLAINED )  
  
NOTICE: SUBJECT VERB AGREEMENT, MAKING A CORRECT SENTENCE, USING VERB IN THE SENTENCE, WORD CHOICE.  
  
Keep practising  
  
GLUCK ^^~
hello yuri.. this is my suggestion for you  
Happy(happiness) is the most important and the main feature which ~~be~~are necessary for life ...  
Some people can be happy because of anythings because ==> sentence + because +sentence , mainly job factors.  
... also there are people who cherish with us which other factors is more important too.[make this sentence easy to understand ==> conjunction like which /that/ need 2 sentence or two subject and 2 verbs in certain case and you should pay more attention about it
The diagram illustrates the information regarding the water cycle works. Overall, it has had three cycle natural steps which start by evaporation water through the rain process.  
  
To begin with, the evaporation from the sea because of Sun's heat and invisible water vapor. Other ways is that the evaporation from lakes and rivers and also transpiration from plants and trees. After that, the wind carried out water vapor to the high lands. In this step, the vapor faces the cold temperatures and it involves a cloud which contains a lot of water.  
  
In addition, after the clouds arrive in high hills by helping from the wind, the clouds cool further and make a rainfall. More broadly, after the rain cycle, the water carried downstream by river and flows in the sea. Another way is that the ground water flows into lakes, rivers and seas. Furthermore, the water is stored in sea and the process will restart.  
  
*
Muhamad, please remember that the overview summary of the diagram needs to have a minimum of 3 sentences in order to be considered within the required format of the essay. You should have divided the long sentence about the the cycle steps into two. The third sentence could have been represented by the start of the evaporation process summary.  
  
The second paragraph is a bit confusing as it seems to be lacking a topic or subject in the first sentence. There is no point to what was said hence, the sentence did not have any information to add to your summary. The part where you spoke of transpiration was a direct quote from the diagram. Always try to rephrase the information from the original source in order to improve your lexical score. by simply using the original description, you will tend to lose points.  
  
Overall, the essay is a bit confusing to read. There is a tendency for miscommunication as you have incomplete thoughts in some sentences or mistakenly used terms throughout the essay. I believe that you will get better over time. Just take note of the problems that you have in this essay so that you can be conscious to not make the same mistake again.
Hello! I will give you some opinions about your essay.  
  
(1) ... the information ~~regarding~~**in regards to how** the water cycle works.  
(2) Overall, it has had three cycle ...  
***Overall, the cycle has three steps which are started from the evaporation process, the process of rain and how the water seep below the surface as a groundwater***  
  
(3) To begin with, the evaporation from ...  
***To begin with, the water is evaporated from the sea, lakes, and rivers due to the sun's heat, also through transpiration process from surrounding plants and trees that forming clouds in the sky***  
  
(4) ... and it involves a cloud ~~which contains~~**saturates with** a lot of water.
***"Children are facing more pressures nowadays from academic, social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce these pressures?***  
  
Nowadays, pupils have pressed by their surroundings such as their academic circle, social society, even for commercial purposes. In my opinion it is extremely harmful for them because it will create worst childhood memory. There are two main reasons that cause their highly pressures. The first one is come from their inner circle: high parents' expectation, and the second one is from external surrounding: facing global challenge. So, to reduce that, children should be developed based on their passions, and also growing their sense of awareness.  
  
First of all, as a result of worldwide competitions, parents' expectation for today's pupils is increasing significantly rather than in the past time. Taken an example of that, today, both father and mother are decided to take their children in early education system such as play group even train them with many lessons like basic mathematics, logical test, and others. Moreover, they usually restrict their children to socialize with their environment and make them to keep stay at home to study. Secondly is caused by global challenge. Because of the raise of world's inhabitants, it brings effect that many young people become unemployment, so the children are pressed from early age to prepare their bright future. They know that their own future careers will have though competition, so the best way to prepare it, is making pressure in academic as their "daily food".  
  
Unfortunately, it usually causes enormous stressful in their mind, so here it is some solutions to break that problem. First, their parents must know their pupils' passionate. It is because if the children are pressed by the parents, but it their own passion, they will be happy to do it. For instance, if the children keen on drawing, then the parents give many exercises of that, they will not feel pressured. Second, it is extremely great if the children already have awareness why they should be pressured, so their teachers, friends, also parents must grow and give clear explanation about the future condition. If the pupils already aware, they will have strong motivation from their mind, even do not feel any pressures because they already know why they must do it.  
  
All in all, parents' expectation and global challenge, that become the primary reasons for people that press the children are not becoming big problems since the children do it based on their passion and already have tremendous sense of awareness.
high parents' expectation  
high expectation of parents  
  
... based on their passions, and also ~~growing~~GROWN their sense of awareness.  
... and make them ~~to~~ keep stay at home to study.  
KEEP STAYING  
  
Secondly is caused by global challenge.  
secondly, IT is caused by THE global challenge.  
  
Because of the ~~raise~~ RISING NUMBER of world's inhabitants, it brings AN effect that many ...  
  
..., so here ~~it is~~ ARE some solutions ...  
... many exercises of that, AND they will not feel pressured.  
... already have THE awareness why they (...), also parents must ~~grow and~~ give A clear explanation about theIR future ~~condition~~ .  
  
I hope it can be useful for you.  
Goodluck and Keep Spirited.
I am given a homework assignment on the following question.  
*Write a story of around 400 words on "A villain who turned out to be a hero".  
Objectives to fulfill:  
- adapt forms and types of writing for specific purposes and audiences using  
appropriate styles.  
- Write clearly, using a range of vocabulary and sentence structures, with  
accurate spelling, paragraphing, grammar and punctuation.*  
  
It was another frosty Friday at the Brook street. I stared out through the clouded window, eagerly waiting for my friends' arrival when something stupefyingly strange occurred. The local senior grocer, Mr. Bill- also known as silly Billy- shrieked: "Catch that imp! He robbed all the bread from my store!" I found this to be a chance of breaking the shackles and unveil the adventurous and courageous version of mine. "I am on it Billy," I ecstatically replied. I followed the rustic thief to someplace where a lonely house stood, deserted. It was a medieval cottage which could hardly fit four people. I chased him and grasped his transgressed hand. This time he ambled, probably he knew he was being chased by me. I interrogated him, with my heart was beating like a thunder every time I spoke a word: "How could you do such an act? How could you be so selfish?" The man replied, "You are quite brave to have followed me this far, I must acknowledge..." "... but you see, I am not the person that you think I am," he replied with a heart full of regret. I could smell the shame in him as he spoke those words. My pulse came back to normal. "It is a dire need that led me to such horrendous act. You might have many words to characterize me: a villain, a thief, a criminal or a treacherous person; and you might be right." "Yes, you are a villain to all of us," I declared. He remained silent and led me to his home. To my bewilderment, there was nothing but three children and their mother inside, wrapped around blankets which looked old as if they prevailed for numerous millennia. As soon as they saw the man return with a handful of goods, they jumped up and down in excitement. "We are going to have bread after so long!" one of the children silently screamed. "I love you daddy!" the others said. "You are our hero!" the wife announced. At that exact moment, I had a change of heart. However, I came back to my senses soon and inquired, "what about silly Billy and his family?" They all looked around at each other silently, hiding the food behind themselves. My heart melted. I helped him in however way possible to pay for the stolen goods. I also informed him about a job vacancy in my father's office so that he could afford his family's needs and become a sole breadwinner for the family. he could be a criminal in the society's eyes but to his family, he is the hero.
Hi @tahseen, your essay is understandable, and grammar is really good.  
  
However, Bellow is some mistakes I think you should recheck.  
- As soon as they saw the man returned with a handful ...  
- thunder is a uncountable noun, cannot use "a."  
- wrapped ~~around~~in blankets  
- ...for numerous millennia - "many" may better combine with millennia than "numerous"  
- ..for the family. H e could be a criminal in the society's eyes, but to his ...
***The bar chart below shows the percentage of students who passed their high school competency exams, by subject and gender, during the period 2010-2011.***  
  
A comparison of the amount of High School Students who reach minimum grade to pass competency exams that is divided based on subjects and gender in 2010-2011 is depicted by using bar graph. Overall, while the girls who passed computer science exam had the most enormous percentage, a smallest value was shown by the boys who took chemistry test. It also can be seen that Chemistry had the highest difference between girls and boys. Otherwise, foreign languages were almost same in both sexes.  
  
To begin with, started with the most tremendous value that was displayed by computer science in girls' sector that hit 56.3%, while the boys located at 42.1%. Then, it was followed by two subjects that only had less than 1% difference in their gender: foreign languages and mathematics respectively. Both girls in those subjects had larger percentage than boys, while the girls in mathematics had 49.2%, the boys were only 0.8% lower than it. Furthermore, foreign languages had solely 0.6% different that was proven by boys at 46.8% and the girls had higher value at 47.4%.  
  
Next, physics and history had difference less than 3% both girls and boys. Moreover, geography became the only one who had the higher percentage in boys, in comparison with others. In addition, both had different more than 10% that is illustrated by boys at 30.4% and the girls were smaller by 10.3%. Last, chemistry had solely 14.1% in boys while the girls were more than two times.  
  
*
Hi. Here are my suggestions for you  
  
... to pass competency exams ~~that is divided~~(,) based on subjects (...) by using THE bar graph.  
... science exam had the ~~most~~ enormous percentage, ~~a~~THE smallest value (...) who took THE chemistry test.  
  
started with the most tremendous value that was displayed by computer ...  
Where is your main verb here for the first clause?  
  
Next, physics and history had THE difference less than ...  
... percentage in boys, ~~in comparison~~COMPARED TO~~with~~ others.  
... more than 10% that ~~is~~WAS illustrated by boys ...  
... were more than two times (HIGHER THAN ?) .  
  
I hope it can be useful for you.  
Goodluck and Keep Spirited
Hello Faiz, let me give my correction for you  
  
A comparison of the amount of High School Students (...) exams that ~~is~~are divided based on subjects (subject-verb agreement, subject plural and verb must plural too  
  
~~the most~~an enormous percentage  
  
~~a~~the smallest value  
  
~~the~~a most tremendous value  
  
percentage ~~in~~of  
  
thank you
A breakdown of the information about visitor quantities regarding to new music sites presented in line graph measured by tens of thousands during fifteen days. At a glance, both of figures witness an upward trend meanwhile Pop Parade site is the most popular on the web.  
  
Initially, Pop Parade guest's level experiences a slight drop for the first five days and keep falling down by 40 roughly in the two following days. In contrary, Music Choice's proportion shows a steady increase to 60 in the third day then remains stable for four following days. Moreover, the surprising trend is appeared to be true in the seventh day in which both figures hit its low to around 30. It is followed by a fluctuation by 10 and 20 for Pop Parade and Music Choice levels respectively.  
  
Furthermore, a considerable gap between two parties widens up since a dramatic increase is contributed by Pop Parade's proportion by almost threefold. Likewise, an intersection happens in the second week as Music Choice visitants' volume rockets to 120 when the other party shows a slight drop to around 80. Additionally, the latter figure immediately overtakes the trend by double additional guest numbers and therefore it reaches its peak. Nevertheless, Music Choice declines by about 40 in the last day.  
  
*
Mujaddidah, I can see that there is no serious problem with your paragraphing style. Even I do really like them, it is very informative and well-developed. Yet, some rooms for improvements still exist. The detailed descriptions below should help you.  
  
- ...music sites presented in the line graph is measured ~~by~~in tens of thousands during fifteen days.  
- At a glance, **both ~~of~~ figures**(what figures? mentioning the name would be helpful in improving the clarity) witness an upward trend ~~mean~~ while Pop Parade site is...  
  
- ...the first five days and keeps falling down ~~by~~~~40~~to roughly 40 in the two...  
- ~~In~~On the contrary/other hand , Music Choice's proportion shows...  
- ...both figures hit ~~its~~their low to around 30.  
- ..fluctuation ~~by~~between 10 and 20 **or**ranging from 10 to 20 ...  
  
Hope this helps :)
Hi,below through my advice for you.  
1. ... music sites presented in the line graph and is measured by tens ...  
2.At a glance, ~~both of figures~~ (both? where is the other one? ) witness an upward trend ...  
3. ... drop for the first five days and keep falling down by 40 roughly in the two following days. ---> by is using to represent thegap value between before and after.  
  
4. ~~In contrary~~ ---> On the contrary
Hello! I will give you some opinions about your essay.  
  
(1) ... regarding to new music sites **is** presented in line graph **and** measured ~~by~~**in** tens of thousands ...  
  
(2) ... five days and keep**s** falling down ~~by~~**to** 40 roughly in ...  
*You can use by if you want emphasize about the change*  
(3) ~~In~~**By** contrary, Music Choice's proportion ...
The talking about the position or function of the scientist to society as same important as the doctors. The inventors or the doctors just have the different way in the society, but these work have same important to increase the good quality of society life. In my view, I disagree with the statement that the doctor is important to society and not for the inventor.  
  
The doctor has a job description to solve other problems in the environment, particularly in the health field. The health sector is one of the big problems which occur the body of the human in their population. For example, many diseases have damaged the society like cancer, diabetes, hypertension etc. which need the medical treatment from the doctors. Therefore, the doctors have the main job to reduce the percentage of disease risk or to solve many problems only in the medic subject. However, it is different of the way to solve other problems in outer the medician, like agriculture, technology, or the environment. The doctors can't solve these problems.  
  
The inventors have many skills to solve the problem in society which the problem can't be solved by the doctor. For example, to make many solutions to solve agriculture problem like the drought is increased the cloud seeding which has researched by the scientist in order to occur the not nature rainwater. Also, to increase eco electricity power system, so the scientist makes the outline research of wave electricity. In many cases, there is work which can't be solved by the doctor but can be done with another person, mainly scientist  
  
Finally, the conclusion of this problem is the inventor as more important as the doctor. The inventors have many skills to solve many problems in the society which can't be solved by the doctors. I suggest that these jobs must be work together in the society.
Hi,below through my advice.  
1.I disagree with the statement that the doctor is important to society and not for the inventor. ---> be careful if you make complex sentence. you means that the doctor is important for society and not important for inventors?)  
  
2.However, it is different from of the way to ---> collocation  
3.The doctors ~~can't~~ solve these problems. ---> cannot ( remember,academic purpose)  
4.droughtis increased the cloud seeding ---> passive. ( to be+V3) cloud seeding increase drought?
hi yuriii, this is may suggestion for you. hopefully it can help you.. break a leg (:  
  
~~The~~ talking about the position (...) to society is as same important ...  
... have the different way to do their job in the society, but these ~~work~~works have same proportion that it is important to increase ...  
  
... in the environment, ~~particularly~~especially in the health field.  
..., diabetes, hypertension etc~~.~~ which need the medical ...  
However, it is different ~~of~~from the way to solve ...  
  
on the other hand, The inventors have many ...  
For example,to make many solutions to solve agriculture problem like the drought is increased the cloud ...[ i think you should make this sentence clearer to easy to understand Also, to increase ~~eco~~natural electricity power system, ...