dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
## strict punishments for driving offences

  
  
Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.  
  
People have different views regarding the lesgitation on road traffic about whether imposed severe punishments or other methods have a noticable implication in the accidents rates. In my opinion, the former would be justified, however the latter sounds more convincing.  
  
On the one hand, It is evident that the implementation of strict punishment such as fees and probation are actually affect to driver's awareness. To be specific, penaties act as a deterent for reoffended trend, which in turn preventing driver to repeat the unlawful act. Moreover, harsh punishments gain social endorsement in terms of controlling juvenile crimes. For example, those who are disregrad the law can have a life-lesson if they are condemned.  
  
On the oher hand, there are others measures can be adapt apart from strict punishment which avoid crime motivation by dealing with the insight cause. One of them is improving the education standard, by that I mean, to cover students with adequate traffic theoretical knowledge and pratical skills. Subsequently, governments or local councils could reduce road accidents by investing in better public transport like bus and train in case of driving incapability in drunks.  
  
In conclusion, although strict punishments play a vital role in the decrease of driving criminal rates, those solutions analyzed above will eliminate all elements that include a person to embark on law break, which cover wider than the previous idea and is predicted to solve thoroughly the problem in the foreseeable future
Your essay is going to recieve an overall failing score due to several reasons, all based on the scoring cubic. You cannot expect to receive a passing score due to an essay that confuses the reader and suffers from improper word usage, incoherent explanations, and stressful grammar issues. You are only ffocused on word usage. Do not believe anyone who tells you thatyou can focus only on one scoring aspect for a good score. If you keep using advanced English words improperly, your sentences fail to make sense and will result in a failed LR score. A long but incomprehensible essay such as this will only serve to getyou the lowest possible final score.  
  
Go back to the basics. By that, I mean, emoll in basic English lessons first. You really need the lessons in basic English vocabulary and basic English sentence structure and development.
## people participating in various sports in the UK

  
  
The bar chart illustrates the percentage of males and females participating in various sports in the UK in the year 2008.  
  
It is clear that while Netball was the most popular choice for females, the figure for males who played Soccer was the highest. In addition, the biggest difference was in the number of females and males playing Netball.  
  
As you can see from the chart, the proportion of males playing Soccer stood at nearly 25%, compared with only 5% for females. The second popular game among males was Other with 20%, which was twice as much as that of females. Similarly, the figure for males joining in Cricket reached 10%, which was significantly higher than the female figure, at only about 2%. The percentage of males playing Table Tennis was relatively smaller, with only approximately 10%.  
  
Looking at the chart in more detail, around 25% of males took part in Netball, which was substantially higher than females' participation, at only 2%. Similarly, the proportion of females who enjoyed swimming( about 23%) was also higher than that of males(about 14%). In addition, the figures for tennis and basketball were quite equal among both sexes, from around 6% to 7%. Jogging was the least popular sport in both males and females, with just about 3% in each gender.  
  
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in the year 2008.  
Add another sentence that enumerates the relevant sports before the trending statement to give the reader a better idea of the upcoming comparative data prior to the tending highlight.  
  
In addition, the biggest difference ... playing Netball.  
This is not a necessary trending reference. You should have used this somewhere in your analytical paragraphs instead.  
  
As you can see from the char  
Looking at the chart in more detail  
No, the reader cannot see the chart. Always assume that you are writing a report for an image that will not be presented and word it accordingly.  
  
Good GRA work in the essay. Your report is simple enough to understand. It avoids the pitfalls of run- on sentences and simple punctuation or single punctuation usage. You varied those enough to show a good grasp and understanding of English grammar and punctuation usage rules.
## Watching TV is bad for children. Do you agree or disagree?

  
  
Nowadays, with the tremendous advancement of technologies, TVs are far more accessible and ubiquitous than before. A multitude of people, especially children, spend hours on the screens. However, it is argued that this kind of recreation is detrimental to children. To my mind, I concur with this opinion for the following reasons: violent programs, time-consuming, adverse effects on health.  
  
First of all, the TV contains a myriad of violent programs and nonsense game shows. In the time profits are the first and foremost concentration of companies, TV programs tend to get as much attention of the viewers as possible, in other words, ratings, by cramming shocking factors, especially violence. Gratuitous violence on TV can have a pernicious influence on children's behavior. They may "practice" what they have seen on TV in real life and use violence as a key for every problem. Moreover, falsified news and nonsense gameshow can give children insufficient insights into the world around them.  
  
Secondly, when most people watch TV for relaxation, they could keep starring at the screens for hours and transcend the limited time for watching TV, not except for children. This habit could lead to bad performance and demerits at school when their time for studying is occupied.  
  
Lastly, watching too much TV could lead to health problems; this idea is analogous to the second idea. When children's time is spent watching TV, physical activities will be lacking, which is the opportunity for obesity and heart diseases to rise in their bodies. Moreover, eye-related like short-sighted eye discharge can occur if on-screen time is exceeded.  
  
Briefly, I believe TV is not healthy (both physically and mentally) to entertain children for the mentioned reasons.  
  
P/s: This is my writing, pls help me figure out what I can improve, many tks. And also, there is just one similar topic on this website, but it's kinda old
violent programs, time-consuming, adverse effects on health.  
Too many reasons involved in what should only bea 4 paragraph essay. Good work on presenting an immensely clear s with a valid thesis statement based on discussion reasons. I also appreciate the varied punctuation usage in this paragraph. You can increase your CRX score this way.  
  
In the time companie...  
Focus on limited but well explained reasons. In this paragraph, you confuse the reader due to lack of proper examples and defensive explanations. Remember C+ C seoks are based on understandable explanations, not number of reasons per paragraph.  
  
Lastly, watching too much TV...  
Blend this as a supporting reason in the previous paragraph. Use a transition word, phrase, or sentence to accomplish this. since the reasons are related, it will boost your TA and C + C score.  
  
mentioned reasons  
Use this as a reminder paragraph. Briefly repeat your reasons to show your reverse paraphrase skills as required in a summary conclusion.
## To what extent do you agree or disagree?

  
  
Some body said:" Nowadays, we are living in high-tech century and due to that killing animals for food or to produce goods is not a necessity in our life". I am completely agree with this opinion and have no doubt about that.  
  
In this day and age, as the result of science development and the creative of chefs, citizens now can eat beef without killing any cow or ox. According to the famous food magazine of Viet Nam, in Australia, people are eating meat which has origin from potatoes. That female chef investigate about how vegetarians keep continue eating vegetables without depressed about the taste in a long time. And finally she found out that they adulterate the meat by mixing potatoes and proteins synthesized from plants. What a great science achievement in cooking industry. Now the community of vegetarians can eat steak like other odirnary people.  
  
In today modern society, there are not difficult to find a person who only eats vegetables or plants product in their meal. At the present, we can calculate the nutritions in our foods and people find out that vegetables can provide us the nutritions as good as meat or even better. In some sports, there are athlete or gymer only consume vitamins and essential subtances included in plants. And doctors did some experiments on them, they informed that the fat percentage in the vegetarians blood is lower than meat-consumers.  
  
To sum up, with the improvement of present society, using animal as a meat production tools is not the vital problem in our life anymore. We can use vegetables as the alternative nutritions provider and look forward to the healthy and balance lifestyle.
You cannot use uncited information in a task 2 essay. Do not get used to using this incorrect writing format. Restate the topic in general terms.  
  
we are living in high-tech century  
This is a part of your defense statement. Use this as a part of your reasoning topic after your extent response.  
  
creative of chefs  
LR error. The correct phrase is "creativeness of chefs" Please note:  
  
creative - originative; productive  
  
creativeness- having the quality or power of creating  
  
Refer to word meaning clarity in this instance.  
  
they adulterate the meat ...  
This is incorrect reasoning. Vegetarians do not eat meat of any sort. You just contradicted your own opinion, creating a confusing opinion.  
  
In reality, your discussion is confusing. You state one reason in the first paragraph, then discuss howmeat is mixed inthe a vegetarian diet. Needless to say, it is difficult to understand the point of your presentation. You are incoherent. Perhaps you are translating from your mother tongue to English, which caused the confusion.
## What could be done to solve this problem?

  
  
In recent years, it is true that there have been increasingly particular students have difficulty in staying focused on class. This essay will discuss various significant reasons and give solutions to decrease the problem.  
  
To begin with, there are a number of elements that make students not pay attention at school. The foremost issue that impacts on students' study is the heavy workload at school and at home. Teachers have a tendency to give them an enormous range of homework that gradually makes them feel tired, stressed and hard to concentrate on lessons. Another reason why students are distracted in class is lack of sleep. A number of students have a habit of staying up late to watch films or play games, and consequently they feel downsy in the next morning. Last but not least, theoretic lessons also can lead to study neglect. For instance, literature teachers require students to write down too much that do not grasp students' attention.  
  
On the contrary, there are a great deal of solutions to cope with this problem. The first measure is that students should organize a reasonable learning schedule to avoid being exhausted with the help from parents and teachers. This also helps them have more time to take care of themselves and participate in outdoor activities. Furthermore, it is necessary for students to have the opportunity to do experiments so that they do not feel bored when learning. In addition, teachers should change teaching methods.For example, they can add more images, illustrations to the lessons and try to be inspired teachers. These ways may make the class hours not tedious anymore.  
  
In conclusion, distraction of students can be caused by many reasons. Therefore, parents and school ought to solve the problem immediately
it is true  
Use a general referenceinstead. That is because you are not being asked if the information presented is true or false. A better starling point would have been:  
  
*Generally speaking, students have been finding it hard...*  
  
In that response format, you are not attesting to anything, just making a non - referencing observation. That is more prompt adherent.  
  
This essay will discuss ... the problem.  
Tell me what your response is. Create the discussion outline for the benefit of the examiner. He already knows the questions. He wants to know what your answers are to the cause and solution qquestions. This immediately tells him if you understood the instructions or not for the TA score.  
  
To begin with,...at school.  
This is a redundant prompt paraphrase. Do the paraphrase only once. Do not use it as word fillers in the reasoning paragraphs. Topic sentence introductions are more useful in there paragraph sections.  
  
A number of students have a habit of staying up late to watch films or play games,  
Wrong. This creates an incoherent paragraph. For coherence, connect the lack of sleep to the previous reason which is homework. You will get better C + C scores that way based an topic clarity and connectivity  
  
On the contrary,  
What solution are you opposing? You haven't presented any yet. That phrase is only used to oppose previous information. That is misplaced in this paragraph and will affect your GRA score. Reason? Inappropriate phrase usage. Your solutions do nottotally wlate to your reasons so that maybethe cause of additional C+C deductions as well.  
  
Your concluding summary does not contain a run-down of the previous discussion topic, reasons, and solutions. Itis incorrectly formatted for the task.
## people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits

  
  
The chart below shows the results of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities. Summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.  
  
The chart provided demonstrates the proportion of beverages such as coffee and tea purchasing and drinking habits in various cities in Australia including Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, Adelaide as well as Hobart.  
  
In general, residents of five cities seem to like enjoying their drink in the coffee shops and buying instant coffee in the last 4 weeks when both of these trends are higher than the others. Opposite to this, bought fresh coffee in last 28 days holds the last position with the lowest percentage in all cities.  
  
It is obvious that the rate of went to a cafe for a drink in the last 4 weeks in Melbourne is the highest at 64%. Following it are that of Hobart, Sydney, Brisbane, and Adelaide with respective ratios 63,5%, 61%, 55,5%, and 49,5%. These percentages show the differences between the habits of the citizens.  
  
Besides the previous trend, the Hobart people tend to buy instant coffee the most in the last 4 weeks with the rate of 54%. Holding the second position is Brisbane folks when their proportion is 1% lower than Hobart residents. Preceded by the 2 above cities, people in Adelaide, Melbourne, and Sydney have smaller ratios namely from 45.5% to nearly 50%.  
  
The residents of these 5 cities seem not to enjoy fresh coffee in the last 28 days when the ratio of this habit is the lowest compared to the previous ones. In detail, citizens of Brisbane and Adelaide are holding the first and the second position of not buying fresh coffee with the percentage of 34% and 34,5% respectively. In contrast to them, Sydney, Melbourne, and Hobart folks tend to enjoy this trend because of the high proportion from 38% to 44%.  
  
Overall, these three habits fluctuate dramatically in five cities. The habit of going out to have a drink seems to be popular when its percentages are all high in 4 cities except Adelaide.
318 words are expected in a task 2 essay. The task 1 essay requires between 150-200 words only. Even if you can type fast, you cannot accomplish all of the required editing elements for the task in 20 minutes. You don't get extra points for an over- analyzed essay, but it does result in more writing and glammas enors on your part. You need to write a short analysis or report, not a research paper.  
  
I cannot fully assess your paper for accuracy due to the lack of image. I'll review your work based on obvious errors instead. Here we go.  
  
You mentioned that the image provided is a chart. The problem with that reference is that it uses a general rather than a specific image identifier. Part of the task accuracy score comes from how well you identify the important data provided. That includes the type of image Why? Every image has several types or versions. When you present a report, the type of image is a requirement. I am not just talking about Task I essays, I am talking about college. masters, and PhD writing requirements. That academic qualification helps your score in the IELTS.  
  
\* Limited review due to lack of image. Provide an image next time.
## benefits of giving homework for kids

  
  
*Topic : Some people believe that school children should not be given homework by their teachers, whereas others argue that homework plays an important role in the education of children.*  
  
These days, homework plays an integral part in education to help children understand lessons well. On the contrary, some people argue that teachers should not give any homework after finishing the lessons. From my perspective, homework has both advantages and disadvantages, but the benefits still outweigh the drawbacks.  
  
On the first hand, it is thought that homework is not important because of many reasons. Firstly, without having to do homework, children can have their own time to play and relax after a hard studying day. They can use their leisure time to explore and learn many things which are really valuable and not taught at schools. For example, they can learn how to play volleyball, which can not be popularly taught in school. As a result, they can develop their communication, strength, endurance, and team working skills. Secondly, by receiving and doing a lot of homework, students can be stressed and exhausted. This can account for many serious consequences and terrible results to students such as falling into depression, mental, and physical illnesses.  
  
On the other hand, homework also brings some essential benefits to children in the acquisition of knowledge. By doing and finishing their homework, children have to be patient and creative to find some suggestions and ideas to solve difficult homework such as Math or Physics. Therefore, they can stimulate their creativity and problem-solving skills. Furthermore, when having a lot of assignments to finish, students have to have good time management. They can know how to divide time, which is suitable for their abilities and knowledge. For instance, my sister always has her own schedule for learning and doing homework. She is not excellent at English, so she spends most of her schedule improving English and do English assignments. As a result, she not only has good time management but also improves her English by learning at her own pace.  
  
In conclusion, although homework can have many drawbacks, I still believe that homework brings many essential benefits and plays an integral part in the acquisition of knowledge of children.
The discussion asks for 2 fully developed explanations of the public opinions. You did that in this essay. Itis your personal 7 that lbecame the problem. You failed to develop that explanation as the 3rd discussion consideration / paragraph as required. Your personal opinion is also scored based on the same scoring criteria of the 2 public reasons. That is why it will not be acceptable to present it as the concluding paragraph. Your opinion does not conclude anything.  
  
The concluding paragraph is used to reiterate your discussion points of the topic. It is a summarized repetition of the topic, the individual public reasons, and your opinion. This section is used to better assess your paraphrasing skills when you need to repeat what you said as opposed to repeating what other people said or, what you read from the statement in the original prompt.
## Water Usage in Sydney. (WRITING TASK1)

  
  
A glance at two pie charts provided reveals a sharp comparison of total water utilized for different purposes in Sydney between 1997 and 2007. Overall, the highest water consumed amount was accounted by food industry while the least belonged to building industry.  
  
In 1997, the amount of water made use of for food industry was nearly half compared to the total. At the opposite end of scale, the data for building industry was the most insignificant number with 5%. Meanwhile, the percentage of household use, manufacturing and service industry can be grouped into the range from 13% to 19%.  
  
Interestingly, food industry's consumed amount witnessed a recessive growing pattern by 7% to 41% after a decade despite maintaining its crown throughout the given period. The same picture was observed in the amount of water used for manufacturing from 15% to over 10%. The data of service industry went up dramatically to 25% which doubled itself in the year 1997, narrowly followed by a slight growth from 19% to 21% of family use's proportion. On the contrary, there was a minimal deterioration experienced by 3% in the figure for building industry,  
  
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different purposes  
Summarize the purposes as part of the important data short presentation. Mention the measurement type as well for information accuracy. You don't need to mention actual measurements, just the basis of the water measurements.  
  
nearly half compared to the total  
What are the numerical references? Your reader will be confused by this reference as there is no factual data included.  
  
from 13% to 19%.  
Add the word "respectively " before the period to indicate successively listed / related information based on prior mention.  
  
industry's  
Singular word presentation indicating ownership. Incorrect word and punctuation usage. The correct reference is "industries" which is the plural form of the word you wanted to use.  
  
The same picture was observed in the amount of water used  
Incorrect sentence format. This is another GRA deduction. correct format:  
  
*The same picture observed the amount of water used...*  
  
building industry,  
Why did you not complete the sentence? Or, was it completed with an incorrect punctuation mark? You seem to have heavy GRA issues. Try to review English grammar usage before you write another essay. At this rate, nothing will be left of your GRA score, which might make you fail the test.