dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
**Topic: We cannot help everyone in the world that needs help, so we should only be concerned with our own communities and countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?**  
  
## support for poorer nations or not?

  
  
Some people claim that it is impossible to support all citizens who need assistance throughout the world. Therefore, people should only focus on giving a hand for their own societies and countries. As far as I am concerned, I totally disagree with this point of view. From my perspective, citizens have powerful abilities to offer assistance to others and it is essential to support foreigners for a variety of reasons.  
  
Helping as many people who are in challenging situations as possible is necessary due to the humanity. As we all know, there are millions of people, not only in our own countries but also in other areas, have to suffer from the difficulties every hour. These people may face with the impoverishment or infectious diseases. It is undeniable that they are the one who need the others' help the most. If the rich or those who are able to support only try to help residents in their nations, the poor or the homeless from other communities who live under unbearable conditions may come into death. The contributions of foreigners can give them more opportunities to survive and overcome obstacles or at least mitigate their sufferings.  
  
Another important reason for providing assistance for other areas' inhabitants is assistance has no limit. In other words, assistance and sharing from a person to another is extremely immense, even when it comes out of our own nations. Every individual is able to lend others a hand and help them more or less. For instance, there are many youngsters and adults in Africa have to encounter with contagious diseases, which are curable in many developed countries. If we cannot give them financial support, we can, as a result, become volunteers to come there and help them with vaccines or even just share our love with them. Our little donations can give people who from low economic-socio background a chance to live and address their problems more easily.  
  
In conclusion, even though helping residents who are disadvantaged in our nations is crucial, people should not ignore to support the citizenry in other communities. I strongly believe that everyone is responsible for supporting others, based on the humanity.
***Hi Linh**, I have read your essay closely. I think this is a good job. However, I have a few suggestion for finalizing your essay.  
  
Actually, you have constructed your essay systematically.You successfully have paraphrased the question given. Besides, you have shown your position clearly and given the short description about what you explained in the body paragraph. For your flow, I suppose that is good because I have known points of your essay and understood easily. You only need to fix your second body paragraph. In the thesis statement, you said that you disagree with the opinion and display your reason, your second body did not relate to prompt. You are supposed to concentrate on your reason why you said that we should not focus on our community. There was a topic which tended to explain how to help other countries. I have not found your logical flow in the second body to support your view in this case. I believe you are able to build the paragraphs better, but you don't leave the edge of prompts. On the other hand, you have to pay attention to delivering words. Please, pick up proper word to describe what you mind. It can affect your score in the indicator of the lexical resource.  
  
To fix your problem, make sure that you have found all keyword in the prompts, including the minor keywords.*
**The pie charts show the electricity generated in Germany and France from all sources and renewables in the year 2009.  
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.  
Write at least 150 words.**  
  
## comparing electricity production

  
  
*The pie charts below demonstrates the generation of electricity in both Germany and France in 2009 from all resources including details about the renewable ones.  
  
As can be seen, Germany got the superiority in energy generation in comparison to France, depending mainly in conventional sources of energy while France used mainly nuclear energy. Moreover, both countries utilized fairly the renewable energy in its different kinds as a vital source of generating electricity. For instance, Germany produced mainly biomass energy while France harvested mostly in hydroelectric power.  
  
It is noticeable that Germany maintained a higher quantity of energy production with 560 billion kWh compared to 510 billion kWh for France throughout 2009. For instance conventional thermal resources possessed the biggest slice in Germany with the value of 59.6% from the total share. However, conventional thermal energy was the small minority in France energy production depending mainly on nuclear resource as it bearded 76.0% from the whole proportions.  
  
At the same time, renewable energy resources had a considerable portion in both countries, but they differed in its type produced. As an illustration, hydroelectric power was the main source of renewable energy produced in France with the percentage of 80.5% followed by wind (10.5%) and finally biomass energy (8.1%). Nevertheless, hydroelectric power generation ranked the 3rd place in Germany with 17.7% while biomass energy ranked the 1st in Germany with 39.35%.*  
  
*
Abeeb, when you write the summary overview, it is imperative that you accomplish that paragraph using at least 3 sentences due to task accuracy, grammar range and accuracy, as well as lexical resource. Writing an accurate restatement of the chart instructions will help to increase your score in those 3 areas. With regards to your paragraph bodies, it will always help your essay score when you do not neglect to present the percentage figure as provided in the charts along with your paragraph data presentation. This shows a thorough understanding of the provided information and also, presents the impression that you thoroughly analyzed all the data that you were provided. In a sense, your presentation gains a more personalized and less academic approach. Always consider the type of audience you might be presenting these facts to and write the presentation based upon their ability to understand the technical terms. This is a pretty solid piece of writing even with the shortcomings present. So it may be possible for your score around a 4 with this essay. There were too many skipped information presentations that prevented this essay from scoring any higher than that in the overall scoring consideration.
**A company has announced that it wishes to build a large factory near your community. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this new influence on your community. Do you support or oppose the factory? Explain your position.**  
  
## what this build brings to the community?

  
  
Economic profits and environmental maintenance are adversaries in every developing industry process. The development brings the convenience and advanced technology to form a new page of our world. In contrast, it also corrodes the nature as time has elapsed.  
  
The project of building a factory will be extremely complicated. Establishing a huge factory might confer hundreds of job opportunities to the local residents. Changing the industrial type would thrive the food stores, convenient stores, and the transportation to meet the demands of the employees. This could turn my community into the center of a prosperous city in the future. Also, there would be some professional experts and extraordinary managers living near the factory. They could have established successful models to the students in the local schools.  
  
The idea might causes the irreversible ratification: destroyed environment. A factory could be a serious source of air, chemical, and noise pollution. Once these potential factors impair the environment, the damages might be forever. Furthermore, Building a new and giant factory means the exploit of wide lands. During the construction works, the habitats of natural creatures, the residence of local dweller, and so forth might accept severe impacts. It is possible for them to lose their familiar and beloved home.  
  
After accounting for the advantages and disadvantages of the plan, I am on the opposite side of the company. I refuse to have a factory intrude into my community. Although a factory could bring the economic profits, the repercussion of it shadows the bright side. If we can keep away from those detrimental pollution, the residents can live in a healthy mental and physical state. In further, a region with high quality of lifestyle and comfortable environment will become rare and precious in the future. The location of my community will appeal to famous and respectable celebrities. The lifted prices of house and lands will appreciate more than we can expect. The advantages will prevail the profits of short-sighted supporters.
Yin, there is an extreme prompt understanding problem in your essay. You did not properly parasite the prompt discussion and instructions. Adding with that, you failed to present your opinion within the opening statement as it's normally required of this essay. Your disagreement with the opening of the manufacturing plant should not have been left for almost three end of the essay, it should have been the only opinion presented and discussed in the essay. The prompt clearly required only your opinion for the discussion so all the other aspects you discussed are moot and academic. These are not needed because the only necessary supporting statements are those related to your opinion of the topic. These errors are what leads me to believe that you cannot score higher than a 2 in this practice test. This is due to inappropriate examples and discussions that do not immediately allow you to present your opinion and supporting facts. You should not have written a comparison essay, only a personal opinion essay.
## The great stress of graduates

  
  
With the rapid development of society, recent years have witnessed an increasing number of graduate students facing with too heavy pressures, such as academic stress, economic pressure, emotional stress, but the most serious one may be the stress of job hunting. About a decade ago, graduate students could find suitable and enviable jobs easily after their graduation. But now, things are different. More and more graduate students grumble that it is difficult to find a satisfactory job. From my own perspective, both society and individuals should be responsible for this matter.  
  
First of all, it is the contradiction between the ever-expanding number of graduate students and the comparatively less demand from the society that brings about a fiercer competition of the job market. For example, Amy, a graduate student, who is busy submitting her resume through the internet and job fairs, says that since a large number of job positions for her specialty are lost, she has not found a suitable job until now. According to the statistics, there were just 74% of graduate students who had found their jobs last year, and this year the number of graduate students will reach a new high, leading to a decreased chance for students to find jobs.  
  
At the same time, many companies are gradually improving their requirements for candidates, making the situation much worse. Through the results of a survey, many recruitment companies have made severe qualifications for graduate students, such as graduating from prestigious universities, getting certain certificates, having practical experience, having a certain height, just male or female and so on. If applicants do not meet the requirements, companies will refuse them immediately.  
  
Nevertheless, there are also students who have successfully found their jobs. It is found that many other graduate students who can not find work are in common because of lack of adequate social experience or knowledge to apply for positions they want. For instance, some of them spend most time at school studying academic subjects while lacking relevant job training. On the contrary, some are not interested in their subjects, therefore they are reluctant to do their experiments and even apply to postpone their graduation date. It is not surprising that when they are leaving the university campus to society, both of them feel extremely lost and frustrated in job application.  
  
In conclusion, not only the social environment aggravates the pressure of employment for graduate students, but also the students themselves limit them to get a better paid job. All in all, it is necessary for government, society and students to work together to solve this problem urgently.
Mirror, I wish that you had given me an inclination as to what the actual prompt for this essay is. That instruction is very important in my analysis of your work and eventual scoring. I could've given you a more specific review instead. As of now, what I can tell you is that your use of the term "graduate student" is quite possibly wrong. A "graduate student" is someone who has already completed a college level education and is selling to find employment in his field of academic training. That is not the kind of person you describe in your essay. You are describing a college student, who, although a graduate is never referred to as a graduate student but rather, is simply called a "college graduate " or "graduate". Your use of the word "but" at the start of a sentence is academically unacceptable. You can only use but to join two related ideas in one sentence. Since a sentence does not start out presenting an idea, you cannot use the term to compose a stand alone sentence. As for the correctness of your discussion, that is a gray area because you failed to provide the prompt requirement and since I can only advice you once, you just water the opportunity to recurve a comprehensive analysis of your work from me.
## education in ghana is necessary

  
  
illiteracy is said to be the main factor that hinders growth and development in Ghana. According to the Ghana statistical service about 55% of the total population constitute the illiteracy rate. with children forming about 32% of the total rate. The advancement of the Western World can be attributed to the intense nature of their education policies and programs. Ghana can similarly develop when taken education seriously. The following can be observed to eradicate the canker of illiteracy in Ghana.  
  
Firstly, free compulsory basic education will help solve the issue of illiteracy in Ghana. Governments of Ghana must make it their policy to send every child between the school going age to school for the acquisition of knowledge and improve skills for national growth and development. This can be achieve when entrenched in the constitution as a responsibility and duty rather than a right. Accordingly. sanctions shall be meted out to parents who violates this rule.  
  
Secondly, the establishment of community libraries to promote reading among school children. A well furnished and stocked community libraries would encourage and promote reading among the students. Students often relax and pays no attention to academic work or exercises at home due to the unavailability of educational facilities such as books and a conducive environment for reading and studying. The existence of these libraries will enhance the students academic performance.  
  
Lastly, motivation and encouragement will contribute immensely to the eradication of illiteracy in Ghana. Education has no age limit. As such, the matured individuals who are uneducated must be encourage to get themselves enrolled in adult education programs here in Ghana. Allowances and other incentives can be given to them to encourage them to get enlightened.  
  
When all these are keenly observed and practiced, the economic, social, political, and cultural growth of Ghana shall be inevitable.
Daniel, the topic of your essay is the eradication of illiteracy in Ghana. The premise of the essay is sound. There is a problem though, when it comes to your presentation of your problem statement or thesis. In order to interest the reader in the topic you are about to discuss, you must first, present the background of illiteracy in your country, the results of this illiteracy, and why this is a problem that needs to be eradicated. Create a totally new thesis statement to place above the current opening paragraph. All of that information should never be located in the opening statement. That information, is always best used to support the thesis statement in the second paragraph.  
  
The supporting paragraphs in the body of the essay are well thought out and presented. It creates a clear idea as to how the problem can be solved. However, it does not consider the other factors in the discussion such as the need to change the constitution, punishing those who violate the rules, and so on and so forth. When you write this sort of essay, you must also work on addressing the possible problems that your suggestions will create and explain how your proposed solution will be able to counter the problems it creates.  
  
Now, as for the concluding statement. Do me a favor and take the stand alone sentence up to the existing paragraph. You cannot have a single sentence for a concluding statement. If you don't want to add it to previous paragraph, then effectively conclude the essay by wrapping up the discussion. Restate the problem, summarize your solutions, then close the essay. 3 well developed sentences should suffice.  
  
Before I forget, double check your grammar and sentence structure in the early part of the essay. You have a few misplaced words at the start of sentences. Misplaced because you wrote it in lower case letters when it should have been written with the first word capitalized. Remember, a continuation of a sentence uses lower case letters but the first letter of the first word in the given sentence must always be capitalized. That is a basic grammar rule that most essay writers seem to regularly forget.
## who needs English, Chinese or Russian language?

  
  
Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language.Which point of view do you agree with?  
  
Learning a foreign language is becoming a trend worldwide.An increasing number of people suppose that people only learn foreign languages to work abroad and visit a foreign country.Others,however,argue that there are several other reasons explaining for this trend.In my opinion,i strongly agree with the later view.  
  
First and foremost,people learn foreign languages to satisfy their interest in linguistics.As we see,many people are passionate about languages.Therefore,they learn foreign languages as a way to pursue their passion.My father's case is a specific example.He has a great enthusiasm about languages and he has been learning four foreign languages.  
  
In addition,people learn foreign languages to broaden their knowledge.Learning foreign languages gives them opportunities to expose to different cultures,histories and traditions of other nations.As a result,they will gain useful information.For instance,when learning English,i can get knowledge about many things involving England such as English lifestyles or customs.  
  
I admit that many people learn foreign languages with a view to travel or work in foreign countries.However,it is only one reason among lots of reasons why someone should learn a foreign language.  
  
In conclusion,i believe that people learn foreign languages not only for traveling and working abroad but also for a lot of other reasons.People should take advantage of languages which they have learned to do other things rather than traveling and working.
HIen, in the opening statement, do not use the term "later view" as the correct term is "latter view". In order to properly have used this term you should have referred to the first opinion as the "former" in the sentence where you say that you agree with the last part of the prompt topic. Aside from agreeing with the latter view, you should have indicated, towards the end of the statement that you will be presenting reasons that will support your claims. That is because the opening statement requires you to outline your discussion procedure, without actually presenting any actual data yet.  
  
Now, when you speak of your father as evidence of your opinion, you need to expand upon that discussion by offering the languages that he speaks and most importantly, explain why he had a desire to study these languages. Since that discussion needs to be expanded upon, it should be presented as a separate paragraph within the essay. Since there is a 5 paragraph limit in the essay. It would be best for you to pick your evidences. One pro and one con evidence discussion will suffice in these instances because you only have 3 body paragraphs within which you can discuss these evidences.  
  
Based on the content of your essay though. The discussion you provided is acceptable and does the job where you need it to. So I do not think that you will score too low with this essay. I would score this a 5 because of the good way that you developed the discussion. I scored you down for the problem portions in order to come closer to an actual test scoring possibility.  
  
Never use stand alone sentences in an academic essay. Always make sure that it falls within the 3 sentence format or incorporate that sentence into the existing current paragraph instead. You have this problem in the sentence preceding the concluding statement and, your concluding statement also suffers from the same problem. That is a writing error that you need to be conscious of and should be prepared to correct once you see that you have committed the error in the actual test. Practice the paragraph format at all times while doing the practice test.
## diet and human health

  
  
Many people change meat in their foods with vegetarian foods such as fruits and vegetables. They do that to keep their body health. Meat contain many substance which are needed by our body.  
  
meat contains several substances such as protein, fat, vitamin and so on and the portion will be depended on meat. For instance pork is one kind of meat which is the most substance is fat. Many people avoid to eat pork because they want to decrease fat in their bodies especially the elderly. oldster who do not need much fat will affraid of that. they make up one's mind that it is bad for their health. it can cause disorder such as storke and over cholesterol.  
  
Besides, disadvantages of eating too much meat there are also some advantages. First and foremost, meat contain of many substances that are needed by our body. All this matter are required by body especially for growth. Childrean are the group who are the most experience the growth season. So they require meat for their growth. secondly people will lost delicious food by become vegetarian. Many food are served by adding meat on them and the taste will be different with other kinds of food but they can not try it.  
  
Based disadvantages and advantages people get by consuming meat, most people who need meat are children and people who became vegetarian are elderly and there are more advantages than disadvantages by eating meat.  
  
In summary I agree that become vegetarian is not for health because people will lost some substance which needed by body on meat