dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
**Instructions:  
Some people think that universities should provide graduates with the knowledge and skills needed in the workplace.Others think that the true function of a university should be give access to theoretical knowledge for its own sake,regardless of whether the course is useful to an employer.What, in your opinion,should be the main function of a university?**  
  
## meaningful values of education in schools

  
  
Many people have different views about the leading role of university education.Some regard academic knowledge as major function,while others think students should be trained to be useful workforce in the society.It seems to me that the both points are of great significance.  
  
Research in a wide range of subjects,such as science and arts ,contributes remarkably to the development of many aspects of human growth.For instance,hand-on experiments lead to plenty of discoveries of chemicals,which may be suitable to be used as a part of new drugs.From an individual perspective,students gain access to explore their potentials and interests,so it is more possible for them to figure out their promising career paths.As mentioned,theoretical knowledge is not incompatible with fostering powerful workforce in labor markets,instead,it's helpful and indispensable.  
  
On the other hand,skills needed in the workplace could be acquired and improved along with academic education.For example,listening carefully to teachers during lectures help students gain the ability to concentrate and grasp points promptly.What's more,respect for others and communication skills are all necessary either in conducting experiments in lab or in discussion groups.No matter in doing manual jobs or office ones,the abilities of dealing with co-workers are must-have,especially for the tolerance of differences.Finally,the skill of time-management and multitasking ability are as important in higher education as in the workplace.  
  
Both professional research and improvement of labor force productivity are of meaningful value in university education.Personally,I am convinced that to pave for getting ideal occupations is the dominating function of a university.
Jessica, I wonder if you know that your essay is 5 words short of the 250 word minimum requirement for this test. Your inability to meet the minimum word count will definitely have an effect on your overall score. Imagine, a mere 5 words could have spelled the difference between getting a passing grade or a failing grade in this test. Those 5 words signify a tremendous score percentage in terms of task accuracy, lexical resource, and grammar accuracy. Don't neglect to keep track of your word count during your practice tests until hitting 250 or more becomes second nature to you. That should be something that you can eventually tell by simply glancing at the length of your paper. Personally, I believe that you could have used 5 more words to further strengthen your introductory statement and personal opinion presentation. These could have been added to the first paragraph where it could have made the greatest impact or served the biggest purpose in terms of increasing your score percentage.  
  
That said, your overall essay lays out well thought out and developed arguments. However, I feel that the presentation of the scientific aspects of the discussion removed some focus from the general strength of your statement, which did not have a particular topic in focus at first. By focusing the topic, you created a discussion specific paragraph that reduced the effectiveness of your generalized statements in the previous and succeeding paragraphs.  
  
Your concluding statement is also too short. Remember, you need to present at least 3 sentences in order to create an acceptable paragraph. It could have been improved by a proper summation that indicated a more accurate prompt restatement, highlights of the points for discussion, and then the repetition of your personal statement.  
  
Overall, your essay has some minimal problems that can easily be solved by being cognizant of your current shortcomings. I know that I can look forward to further improvement in your work over time. Just make sure to not repeat the same mistakes.
**Some people think that instead of preventing climate change, we need to find a way to live with it.  
To what extent do you agree or disagree?**  
  
## stopping climate change

  
  
Nowadays, climate change is a well-known issue and almost everyone is aware of it. Some people are finding ways to avoid the said issue whereas others think that figure out how to survive in such situation is much worth to consider. In my opinion, I think both arguments are equal important.  
  
It can be observed easily that the weather change has become severely than ever. From the icebergs melt in Arctic to the heavy rain in desert, the climate change has affected the worldwide environment. In order to prevent the rising of temperature, people are looking for several methods: the government sign the agreement to decrease the CO2, the school educate the importance of environmental protection and the individual does the recycling.  
  
On the other hand, another side argue that since the climate change is an inevitable result, it is better for human adapt it as soon as possible. This kind of thinking is quite realistic but seems to be an alternative way. For the purpose of it, the astronauts explore the possibility of moving to Mars and the scientist research the condition of living underground.  
  
In conclusion, I think although stopping climate change is the first priority to do, to find the others ways in the same time is also meaningful.
Hope, this will help.  
  
... others think that ~~figure~~figuring out how to (...) much worth*y* for consideration.  
... both arguments are of equal importance.  
**Arlen, you've demonstrated a great consciousness as a writer, but I've to say you still need to work hard on Subject-Verb agreement, Vocabulary choice. Like here**  
  
: the government sign the agreement to decrease the CO2, the school ...  
: the governments are cooperating on several agreements to decrease toxic carbon emissions, the educational institutions are enlightening the upcoming generation about environmental conservation and recycling...
Arlen, the discussion of colonizing Mars does not fall under the topic of living with climate change or dealing with climate change. Moving humans to Mars will be the final step in abandoning the Earth after climate change has totally destroyed the planet. Therefore, the idea of discussing that in this essay is inappropriate. Instead, you should have built up the discussion of scientists considering moving underground. That is a proper way of discussing how to live with climate change. Your conclusion needs more work. You have to properly develop the conclusion to restate the prompt, both sides of the argument, and then repeat your opinion on the matter in order to to allow for a completely developed end to your essay.
Arlen, I am sure that you have already known that in the instruction of IELTS writing task 2 it is pretty clear about what to do. You are asked to write in NOT less than 250 words unless your score will be reduced. This is the very first thing that you MUST remember. Writing an IELTS task, particularly task 2, with less than 250 words will only make your score cannot go beyond 5.0 no matter how accurate your grammar is. If you write more than 250 words, at least your score will be safe enough to get around 5.0 (it also depends on four essential IELTS criteria in writing band descriptors).  
  
Thus, my suggestion is that if you want to play safe (at least to write more than 250 words), try to consider the followings:  
  
1st paragraph:  
- Write not less than three sentences that consist of question paraphrase, thesis statement, and the outline of your thesis statement.  
  
2nd and 3rd paragraphs:  
- Try to write more than three sentences in this paragraph by mentioning the reason why, explanation, and example along with the implication of the example that you have given.  
  
4th paragraph:  
- it simply consists of the paraphrase of your introduction paragraph, and gives a recommendation/suggestion/hope for the future.
## Is fashion harmful to society?

 Nowadays,this is controversial issue.I think that fashion is harmful to society.I am going to enumerate reason of my choice.  
  
To begin with,fashion makes children worry about their size.Because of fashion,children lose self-esteem and they emulate model.They try to become size zero.It bring about blumia.  
  
Secondly,fashion causes to much waste of time and money.People spend money on thing which is pointless unceasingly for the sake of fashion.It makes people look silly.Another point is that waste of time.People focus on just fashion instead of education and work.  
  
Last but not least,fashion leads to discrimination.People bias each other as to what they wear.It causes to seperate their social group.Besides people look exterior beauty regardless of inner beauty.  
  
To sum up,race of fashion never end.People continue to pursue fashion.They never satisfied.
Maritsa, I strongly suggest that you post the original prompt discussion that you are responding to along with your essay. Even without reading it, I can tell you that your opening statement is weak and ill effective. It does not fully represent the prompt requirements due to its short presentation. In fact, the shortness of the paragraphs clearly represent the biggest weakness of your writing style. It is important that you learn to fully develop your thought presentations or justifications through your paragraphs. By doing so, you will be able to gain a better score as you are able to express yourself in a more complete manner representative of the prompt requirements. Unfortunately, I am unable to give you advice as to how you can better develop this essay discussion due to the lack of the original prompt. That said, I will still be able to assist you with that if you provide the prompt below. There is room for improvement in your work, you just need to be instructed as to how you can do that.
## more concentration to the health care in Taiwan

  
  
Becoming aware of the importance of their health , people in Taiwan are now paying more attention to the medical care, which is now provided mainly by our national health of insurance. Our government is financially stable, so it should provide sufficient support to people through medical care.  
  
 All people are created equal. Nonetheless, different people have different requirements, and thus an appropriate medical care should be arranged to meet the need of various groups of people. First and foremost, the government should provide each person basic medical care, such as giving people inexpensive accesses to medication. Besides, paying for emergency services should be also included. Last but not least, a government which deserves respect would never neglect the welfare of the poor and disabled by offering them both long term care medical care and personal medical treatment.   
  
Despite the providing of partial medical care from our country, most people who are able to work also have the responsibility for paying for treatments which they need helping the poor to reduce their medical burdens.   
  
To conclude, it doesn't matter if people are rich or poor, the color of their skin, whether they are male or female, their sexual orientation, who they vote for, whether they were educated, if they have a faith or no faith at all. Nothing matters other than a patient is a precious human life. Thus, all citizens have the right to enjoy a good quality of health care provided by the government and every competent people.
Kalmia kindly provide us with the complete IELTS prompt that you are required to respond to. I would like to assess your essay for compliance with the other prompt requirements. At the moment, I cannot properly review your essay because I do not know the kind of response that you are expected to provide. What I can review for you at the moment is the presentation of the essay.  
  
I am very sad to say that the essay is confusing to read, lacks cohesiveness, does not have a coherent presentation, and seems to go around in circles discussing the same thing over and over again in the same paragraph. I am referring to the second paragraph where you cannot seem to get out of the explanation that the government should provide quality healthcare for all the citizens of your country. I believe that the problem stems from a lack of understanding of the prompt requirements. That is something that I can confirm once I have a copy of the actual prompt already.  
  
The third paragraph does not have enough discussion development to properly present your argument in the paragraph. It should build upon the reasons why those who work should help to pay for the healthcare of those in need. In reference to that, it contradicts your first statement that the government should give quality healthcare to everyone regardless of status in life or other considerations.  
  
Your essay actually deviates from the prompt because you first discuss the quality of healthcare the government should provide and then the next half of the essay discusses free healthcare. Which one is the real topic of the prompt? I am really confused by the essay response that you have provided. I will not score this as an essay that could pass in an actual exam setting.
**Some people believe that there should be the death penalty for extremely serious crimes. Others believe that it is not morally correct to kill criminals  
  
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.**  
  
Death Penalty problem  
  
One of the highly controversial issues today relates to whether to use capital punishment or not.In this this essay I am going to examine this question from both points of view and then give my outlook on this matter.  
  
One side of the argument, there are people who argue that the benefits of death penalty considerably outweigh its disadvantages. The main reason for believing this is that, in future criminals will be aware about the punishment before committing any offence. It is also possible to say that due to this kind of penalty there will be reduction of unlawful act along with the number of criminals. One good illustration of this is Osama bin Laden who had attacked twin towers of US for which he was executed in his own home town. Therefore this has given justice for the citizen of US.  
  
On the other hand, it is also possible to make the opposing case. It is often argued that in fact punishing the wrongdoer is like we committing another offence. People often have this opinion because, the person found guilty was forced to commit the crime due to the circumstances such as, self-defence. A second point is that, the facts relating to crime should be considered before the penalty . A particular good example here is due to dowry if the bride is been tortured till the death but, if she fights back for herself she should not be sentenced.  
  
In conclusion, I believe that both the arguments have their merits. On balance I tend to believe that capital punishment should be practised only in the cases of serious unlawful act.
@Ochir  
I hold two different views on your first point that death penalty should be used for severe crimes.  
  
Firstly, I agree with that death penalty must be applied for criminals who definitely committed the aggravated offenses such as a rape resulted in the death of the victim, brutal murder, mass murder, terrorism.  
  
On the other hand, the death penalty is not effective as the life imprisonment. The authorities which apply death penalty just allow the person who committed the crime just easily pass away. They won't feel anything. They would not even regret what they have done. Those who convicted for life imprisonment for committing serious offenses will suffer psychologically and feel wretched the rest of their life in insulated prison cell. This kind of conviction will make the accused feel lonely, helpless and guilty.  
  
Ultimately, we should keep in mind that the both points are complex issues with no single answers until today. The problem of the death penalty for aggravated crimes is one of the subjects of heated debate.
Janaki, there are number of problems with your essay presentation. For starters, the opening statement must have delivered a summary of each individual point of view, including yours, as a part of the summary and paraphrasing of the original prompt. That is because the summary overview requires a complete presentation of the paragraph discussions, in chronological order, whenever possible. Next, your presentation of the reasons why people support the death penalty through its advantages doesn't really bring the discussion based on that reason into proper focus. Your reasoning is confusing and does not produce a coherent thought process that could have resulted in a coherent discussion. The same applies for the third paragraph. Now, the for the biggest problem that your essay has. It does not represent your personal opinion as a complete and thorough discussion of both sides. Instead, you have it representing a one liner closing statement, which, as we all know, is not acceptable in this sort of essay. A concluding paragraph must not present new information or ideas and should instead only summarize the information contained prior to giving a closing sentence. Your personal opinion should have been fully developed as a paragraph prior to your concluding sentiments.
Janaki, when the topic asks you to discuss both views and then give your own opinion, you should strive to present a 5 paragraph essay that accurately delivers on all required points of the prompt. The best way to present this essay will be as follows:  
  
1st paragraph - Introduction - prompt summary, presentation of each opinion in summary form, a quick reference to your opinion with the assurance that all points will be fully discussed in the succeeding paragraphs.  
  
2nd paragraph - first point of view, usually the point of view that you do not support. Discuss it thoroughly based upon your understanding. Oppose it using examples or information that you can present from a 2nd or 3rd person point of view.  
  
3rd paragraph - second point of view, normally the point of view that you support. Strengthen this discussion through presentation of commonly known facts or experience. Second or third person point of view again.  
  
4th paragraph - your opinion, first person point of view. The objective is to present supporting arguments based on personal opinion or experience that will strengthen the claims made in the 3rd paragraph.  
  
5th paragraph - conclusion. Summarize the content of the essay from the prompt to the points of discussion presented. Then close the essay with a repetition of your point of view in support of what you believe to be the more popular opinion of the prompt provided.
## **remission of a tuition**

  
  
A tuition's remission should become the policy in Vietnam's university curriculum has attracted many people's concern. In my point of view, I completely disagree with this opinion.  
  
University's program about creating a free education for the whole students could bring it numerous disadvantages. Against developed countries, the strategy's approval seems unaffordable to Vietnam. Therefore, it might cause pressure on the National budget that takes away investments in significant fields such as economics, health, and agriculture. Besides, the rule should be applied in specific circumstances instead of the whole. For example, the government supports students who less fortune, disabilities by providing them a free education. Thus, it guarantees they are affordable to study in university and indicates traditional moralities of Vietnamese.  
  
On the other hand, study costs could motivate students in an effective way. Firstly, they might be aware their responsibility to deserve their time by having a serious attitude in learning. Furthermore, they could also reduce their study fee through earning scholarships, which resulted in a hard working. Secondly, by paying study fee, students contribute not only improvements of the university but also their study process. For example, authorities might use the tuition as a fund to advance the study progress, such as enhance the education's quality, upgrade infrastructures and provide scholarships that promote students' energy and so on.  
  
In conclusion, the government should balance between the tuition of university education and the economic situation of the country, besides; they pursue their goal that ensures their citizens with equal right in university learning.
Thanh, I do not believe that you can score higher than a 5 in the overall score for this essay for a number of reasons. The main reason that I have for giving you this score is because of the difficulty in understanding your essay concept. The cohesiveness and coherence of your presentation is not as smooth as it can be and creates a difficulty for the reader.  
  
Another point I would like to make is that your lexical resource can be somewhat faulty in the essay. Take for example, the opening statement where you used the term "remission" to indicate the plan to create full government subsidy for university education. Remission means "the cancellation of a debt, charge, or penalty; a diminution of the seriousness or intensity of disease or pain; a temporary recovery ; forgiveness of sins". None of these meanings apply to the thought that you were trying to present. You could have instead said "Full tuition subsidy..." to make a more lexical appropriate point in your sentence.  
  
The essay has a number of problem points that prevented it from getting a higher score. I hope that you will take note of the problems that this essay had in order to make adjustments and / or improvements to your next writing test.
**The diagrams elow show the life cycle of silworm and the stages in the production of silk cloth. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevants.**  
  
## the diagram of silkworm

  
  
Given are the diagrams explaining several changes of silkworm in its life cycle and how to produce silk cloth. Generally, there are four main stages of silkworm life cycle and five steps to create cloth made from silk.  
  
In the term of silkworm life cycle, firstly, egg is hatched by moth. After 10 days, it develops to be larva form, consuming mulberry leaf as its daily food. Having silk thread, larva requires 4-6 weeks to approach this stage. In the last step, at 3-6 days later, larva transform to be cocoon then 16 days later it grows as a moth.  
  
On the other hand, the initial step to produce silk cloth is by selecting and sorting the best quality of cocoons. Next, to make cocoons softy, these is boiled in the pan full of water. Thirdly, these cocoons are unwinded to collect 300-900 m thread, twisting it later. Finally, that product weave in flat wood. However, dying process is required in either twisting or weaving, aims to make silk cloth more attractive.  
  
*