dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
## ANIMAL EXPLOITATION - IELTS WRITING TASK 2

  
  
**A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research. Discuss both views and give your opinion.**  
  
*Essay:*  
People's opinions differ as to whether or not animals should be used to serve human life. Although there are some strong arguments against the employment of animals, personally I still believe that it is a necessary aspect of food production and research.  
  
On the one hand, there are two main reasons why animal exploitation should be banned. Firstly, it is recognized that animals have consciousness as well as the capacity to experience pain, fear, and even distress just as humans do. Supporters of animal rights therefore argue that humans have no right to subject animals to the trauma of being slaughtered or tested on, as the benefits to humans do not justify the suffering caused. Secondly, many biologists would agree that exploiting animals excessively can lead to biodiversity loss and disturb the ecological balance. For example, a considerable number of marine species such as tuna are on the edge of extinction mainly as a result of overfishing, and surely this will have a dramatic influence on the marine ecosystem.  
  
In spite of the above arguments, I believe that abolishing all forms of animal use in human life is completely impractical. Livestock not only serves as a major source of meat and other products for humans, but also provides job opportunities for those in rural areas. Eliminating the use of these animals therefore may cause unnecessary difficulties, including food shortage and a rise in unemployment. Similarly, medicines and other products are routinely tested on animals to measure their effectiveness and make sure that they are cleared for human use. If animal experimentation is banned, I suspect that new, unproven drugs might be instead even directly tested on humans, and this is simply unacceptable from an ethical perspective.  
  
In conclusion, it seems to me that it would be wrong, on balance, for humanity to stop using animals for our own purposes. (309 words)  
  
*P/s: To be honest, I have read some threads in this website in which the Holt advised students to use the 5-paragraph format for the discussion essay. However, a quite well-known IELTS teacher who is an ex-examiner has said that it is unnecessary and I just need to mention my opinion in the third paragraph, along with the introduction and conclusion. I am quite confused about that!!!*
Different teachers have different writing styles that they teach their students. I teach differently from the person you consulted. My way works for the students here, who do not consult with other IELTS examiners / tutors. They learn my way, they pass using my way, with the highest possible scores based on my writing method. Since you already have a tutor for your IELTS test, you should learn only his way of writing. Do not confuse yourself by trying to learn 2 different writing styles. Only your score and your writing skills will suffer. Now, knowing that you already have a tutor on hand, I cannot give you advise regarding your current essay. The last thing I want to do is confuse you and make you second guess how you should write your essay. Follow your teacher. I am not going to come in while you are learning how to handle these tests, give you different advise, and leave you confused. Follow the teacher whom you think will give you the better score. In this case, you have already learned from someone else, do not go looking to change your writing formula at this point. It would be detrimental to your learning process.
@Holt  
I am afraid that you have misunderstood it, and I am sorry about it. The one I mentioned is not my teacher, he just posted his lessons on his blog and I just read some of his comments related to discussion format. I just study IELTS on my own and need advice for this essay to improve my writing skills.  
  
After posting this thread, I also found a problem of this essay. I do not mention why "they should have the same rights as humans" in the second paragraph and I am not sure whether I will get a lower TA score as I do not address all parts of the task. Could you give me some advice about it?. Anyway, thank you in advance.
***Topic: some people think that hosting an international sports event is good for the country, while some think it is bad.***  
## Discuss both views and state your opinion

  
  
Hosting an international sports event is considered advantageous to the hosting country by some, while for the others, the idea might be a detrimental one. There is, indeed, an enormous number of benefits hosting an international event involving sports can bring for a country. Nevertheless, everything comes with a price, and for many countries, responsibilities like this can prove to be a heavy burden.  
  
Admittedly, having the honor to host a global sports event means various financial and political advantages for a country. First, the hosting country will attract more international investment even many years to come after the event. In detail, Its image can be abundantly raised and may even take the top spot in the local region as a promising country, consequently granting itself more investment. Second, other countries will seek to establish a companionship with the hosting country, thus giving its government more power and influence among the world leaders. A country with a respected position and others' support undoubtedly has every opportunity for consistent and rapid development.  
  
However, hosting an event as such may be destructive to the country's economy. It is the extortionate cost and impracticality of organizing such an event that makes the idea a terrible one. In other words, the financial burden the country has to bear and what to do with the facilities invested after the end of the event can be a big issue for the country. Taking Brazil, for example, years after the world cup and the building of the grand Rio de Janeiro stadium, it is still trying to make up for all the money wasted in facilities and find a way to make use of the billion-dollar stadium, with its maintenance fees most likely being too high to retain and the current conditions of which too low to be up for rent.  
  
All in all, though the chance to host a global sports event would bring lots of great benefits for the country, it is most advisable for countries without adequate financial background to forfeit any responsibility of hosting such events.  
  
*I have only started practicing for the ielts writing section for a few weeks. CC and LS are what I find most challenging about this section. if you could suggest ways to improve these 2 skills then it would be much appreciated! thanks in advance!*
In the first paragraph, you were able to address the topic restatement covering the 2 points of view in the first sentence. It was the discussion instruction part that you were not able to properly represent as:  
  
*Due to these varying opinions, I will have to carefully consider both sides of the discussion and offer an idea as to why I support or do not support the stated point of view.*  
  
Or  
  
Based on these reasons, I find that I support the opinion that\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ mainly because (state your reason).  
  
Either format will work for the restatement because both offers a clear take on how you will be discussing the topics and how you intend to present your point of view in the discussion paragraphs.  
  
You have to remember that for each point of view, you need to present the public opinion before you state your personal opinion. Usually, the reasons for the public opinion are provided in the original prompt. If not, then you should find a reason to support the public opinion. Explain the public point of view because the prompt says "some people" and "while others". This means that you have to use some public presentation first before you present your opinion. Your opinion should always be based on the public opinion explanation that you have provided. What you did here was set the essay up as a personal point of view presentation, rather than a public comparison discussion with a personal point of view. The latter is, the more appropriate approach to the discussion since you are scored on the clarity of your opinion. Once you establish how your opinion is based on the public explanation, your C&C score will be increased.  
  
As for your LR problems, the only way you can improve your vocabulary is to read more English works. There are many opinion columns being written in free to access online newspapers from the USA and the UK. If you can read more opinion columns, not only will your approach to essay writing improve, but you will also be able to improve your vocabulary by taking note of words you do not understand then looking up the word meaning in the dictionary, while also learning alternative references by learning the synonym words for it. All of these, as a learning process, can help you improve your LR and GRA scores.
***STUDYING WITH A GROUP OF STUDENTS IN A CLASSROOM IS MORE BENEFICIAL THAN LEARNING ONLINE AT HOME.***  
## TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE?

  
  
Many people advocate taking part in formal schooling is deemed more advantageous than online independent learning at home. Although studying at school renders us many merits, I personally partly agree with this notion.  
  
On the one hand, there are many virtues gained from going to school for some grounds. First of all, educated at school is considered an effective way as students can learn a wide range of skills ranging from theory to hands-on experiences. Apparently, learners also have more opportunities to pressure their opinions which lend a hand to develop communication or teamwork skills compared to those who are on the fence. More importantly, the resource of knowledge as well as facilities are more advanced by virtue of the economical investment of many firms and states. For example, each year a myriad of the budget state is used for updating books and equipment bringing about the best services for their future talents  
  
Despite many aforementioned arguments, I believe that learning online at home can also lead to some merits. To begin with, self-discipline can be got better by learning online. In other words, to those who do not fail to resist the temptation to entertain negatively are inclined to address problems more effectively. Moreover, a variety of learning materials make a demand for the ability to select information in a clear way which enhances the awareness of an issue whether it is right or wrong. Besides, the omnipresence of many online courses benefits learners to absorb knowledge at anytime or anywhere.  
  
In conclusion, I firmly believe that formal schooling as well as learning online should be combined in order to promote their comprehensive education.  
  
I hope to get your help! Thanks a million!
It is difficult to defend a single opinion stance when you say you "personally partially agree with this notion". Mostly because you already admitted to the merits of school based studies. So you are contradicting yourself in the sentence presentation. This blurs your actual opinion and affects your TA score as you will be judged to "not have a clear opinion presentation". For this type of writing it is always better to either agree or disagree, basing the extent of the opinion on a specifically provided reason instead. That type of presentation creates a "clear opinion" for the examiner, who will then simply judge your writing on other scoring considerations.  
  
The extent essay is not to be written in a comparative format. That is because the instruction is asking you to defend only one opinion, either you agree or disagree to a specific extent. The "extent" will be based on the 2 related reasons that you will be presenting within the 2 reasoning paragraphs. That will help to further clarify and support the extent of your opinion presentation in the first paragraph.  
  
When you see the word OR in the instructions for writing, that is the automatic signal that you have to write a single opinion essay. OR is used to signify a choice between 2 options. You cannot choose to defend both options in this case because of the existence of the word OR. Now, if you are asked to discuss both opinions, then you must use the comparative format for writing that essay.
You cannot claim that gender discrimination has been a problem "throughout centuries" as the claim regarding gender discrimination is a 20th century ideology. Do not exaggerate your claims as these change the essence of the original presentation. Also, while it is a "debatable" topic, you cannot claim that it is "controversial" as there is nothing controversial about it. It has not been a part of a prolonged public dispute yet. Do not sensationalize your presentations. That removes the academic tone of your presentation and shows that you would rather focus on "vocabulary" rather than an essentially educated presentation of your discussion. Aim for academic discussions instead of fake news type presentations. You score better when focusing on academic opinions and discussion presentations.  
  
Do not make factual claims in any presentation unless you can cite an actual source of that information. It is better to assume information instead by saying "To the best of my knowledge" or "As far as I know..", creating an academic, but personal data presentation that does not require fact-checking. You really tend to make sensationalist claims in this essay which truly remove from the academic opinion presentation. Are you sure that your claims are undeniable? There will always be people who will claim otherwise and have evidence to disprove your "undeniable" claim. Stop being sensational. Be academic, use an even and educated tone. You are not writing for a tabloid audience, you are writing for an educated set of people who do not take kindly to this kind of writing.
**Answer in Text**  
  
## summarise the information from the chart

  
  
The bar chart illustrates the proportion of men and women teaching in different categories of school in the UK in 2010  
  
In the nusery and primary school, female teachers outnumbered male teachers. Women accounted for a particularly large proportion of the school for young students and kids. However, the gap between men and women was changed in the university. The male teachers had the trend to teach the academic course.  
  
The percentage of male and female teaching in secondary school, college, and private training institute was nearly equal. Especially, the propotion of men and women teachers is the same in the college. There were nearly as many women approximately 50% as men approximately 45% teach in the secondary school. This also true of teaching in the private traning institute but the percentage of men was 50% and the percentage of women was 45%.  
  
Overall, the chart shows that the women was dominated in teaching kids and youngers. However, the academic and deep knowledge requires the large proportion of male teachers.  
  
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*Topic*
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*Answer in picture*
## IELTS 1 - The Percentage of the total world population

  
  
The bar chart shows the percentage of the total world population in 4 countries in 1950 and 2002, and projections for 2050.  
Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.  
You should write at least 150 words.  
  
The chart illustrates the proportion of total resident in India, China, USA and Japan in 1950, 2002 and prediction for 2050.  
Overall it can be seen that China has the highest population over the period. Initially, majority the trend of population around the world was decreased except for India.  
  
In 1950 and 2002, China has the highest population among the other countries at (23, 20) relatively, while in 2050 India projected will have the highest population at approximately 18. India stood at 15 in 1950 and increased slightly at 17 in the next 52 years, and predicted to increase slightly at 19 in 2050.  
  
The lowest population was Japan. It started at about 4 in 1950 and predicted to decrease gradually to almost 1 in the next a hundred years. USA has the third lowest population among the other. It stood at around 7 in 1950 and then decrease slightly to 5, and will be predicted remained stable at 2050.  
  
*
You know what? This is an example of a well reported chart. The only missing element is the lack of a proper identification of the image provided. You were given a bar chart, not just a chart. The image description needs to be specific because the reader will try to create a mental picture of the information you are providing. So being image specific can really help in that aspect. You did a good job in the summary, save for the incomplete image description. For a 160 word essay, you were able to present the necessary information, comparisons, and predictions. This is the kind of essay that focused, as best as it could, on the clarity of the information presentation rather than the word count. You did a very good job. It is clear, concise, and worthy of more than just a passing score.
## **Some believe that eventually all jobs will be done by artificially intelligent robots. What is your opinion?**

  
  
Artificially intelligent robots will be replacing large parts of the human workforce sometimes in the not so far future. While it is likely that all menial jobs will be eventually taken over by robots, there will still be jobs which will require a human element. This essay will discuss why in the near future, only a small number of jobs will be done by humans.  
  
Robots are going to replace humans in jobs that don't require any particular set of skills, in the long run. It's easier and economically viable to replace humans with computerised machines as they don't require training, they don't take days off and don't make errors. In fast food restaurants in Canada for example, cashiers have been replaced by ordering stations where you can choose whatever you want from the menu and pay for your order as well. These stations cost less than employees and can work on holidays. Hence, these reasons will lead to more an more jobs of such kind using robots as opposed to human employees.  
  
Conversely, there are still a few jobs that will always require human expertise and ingenuity which is impossible for robots to replicate. There're jobs that require years of training, ability to make split second decisions. For example, jobs in the field of psychology, medicine, engineering and culinary arts to name a few. Robots can never be expected to be aware of the nuances that are an everyday part in these fields.  
  
It's increasingly likely that a majority of the current human workforce will lose their jobs to robots in the future. Although a lot of the unskilled jobs are going to be outsourced to robots and computerised machines, there will still be a few fields in which the significance of the human know-how is unparalleled. Ultimately, as artificial intelligence develops at it's current rate, there won't be many jobs left that require human employees.
You have to frame the opinion you are presenting in the first person presentation format. The prompt clearly asks you for your opinion so, this is one case when you must use first person pronouns, since no other opinions are required for the discussion. The presentation you used serves a "general" purpose, meaning it does not necessarily reflect your opinion. This is made clear by your last sentence in the first paragraph which is:  
  
This essay will discuss why in the near future, only a small number of jobs will be done by humans.  
This created the general presentation discussion. The more appropriate response would have been a direct representation of your opinion at the end. Something along the lines of,:  
  
*While most people believe this to be true, I find myself in disagreement with them because I believe that...*  
  
Always use a direct response when dealing with the question provided. This will serve as your thesis statement, which will be the total basis of your opinion presentation / defense / reasoning in the remaining 2 body paragraphs prior to the concluding summary of information. For this particular writing type, you can use the comparative essay format since there is no agree or disagree question to be responded to.  
  
Your discussion in the first paragraph is well presented. The second paragraph needs more work. The example you gave and the explanation needs more work to convince the reader of this point of view. You should have added information as to why robots will fail to do the work due to human nuances. Your vocabulary usage is on point. No problems there. You obviously have a good grasp of the language. It shows in your sentence and paragraph formations.  
  
Overall, this isn't a bad essay. It is just the improper format, the general opinion, rather than the personal opinion, that affected the presentation. Next time, use the correct pronouns, as required by the presentation. In this case, the first person personal pronouns were sorely missed.
Hello everyone! I am preparing for CBEST and struggling a lot with writing. Thank you so much for your help!  
  
**Prompt**:  
***Should there be any restriction on how many years a teacher may teach the same subject or grade level?***  
## Explain your answer. Support your opinion with specific examples.

  
  
The issue of limiting amount of years teachers instructing the same subject or grade level is a controversial one. Some believe that switching grade levels or subjects will positively affect teachers, while others believe that these changes will impact teachers negatively. After careful thought, I feel that restricting amount of years teachers are staying within the same subject or grade level will have a positive influence on their professional skills, classroom performance, and job opportunities in a community.  
  
One reason for this belief is that teachers who are switching grades or subjects are facing new challenges that will make them grow professionally as educators and instructors. Working with different age groups of students gives teachers a better perspective of their students' needs. Also, changing subjects can help a teacher to develop their skills in instructing different subjects, which will benefit students as well.  
  
Another reason for this belief is that when a teacher spends too much time in one grade level he or she sometimes goes through motions and is not inspired as much as before. Furthermore, it can affect the quality of their instruction and influence their students' performance at school. Working with another grade level or teaching a new subject can help them to stay focused on improving their performance as well as developing new lesson plans.  
  
The best reason for this belief is increasing job opportunities not only for new teachers but also for teachers, who want to try working in a new environment. While some teachers stay in the same position for many years, other teachers have a very limited choice of the ways to start their teaching career or grow professionally in a new classroom. Moreover, increasing job opportunities for talented new teachers and professionals will help schools to extend their staff and improve their scores.  
  
In the final analysis, I believe that restriction on amount of years a teacher teaches the same subject or grade level will benefit teachers as well as their students and the community.