dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
Ziming, congratulations on writing a very well developed paraphrase of the original prompt, as well as the fantastically accurate response to the extent question. You are one of the few students here to accurately produced a response essay on the first try. Give yourself a pat on the back for this accomplishment.  
  
Your reasoning paragraphs also prove you have the ability to discuss in coherent English, which will serve you well in a formal class setting and also, in the completion of your opinion and research papers as assigned in your classes. The examiner will note these writing abilities of yours as it applies to the test requirements.  
  
Though not perfectly presented, you did well enough to prove your ability to hold your own in such discussion settings.  
  
You stayed focused and discussed only one opinion, your personal opinion, with supporting and relevant examples indicated. You have passed half the test because you proved that you have the ability to understand English instructions based on your English comprehension skills as proven by your proper task instruction response.  
  
If I were to find a problems with your presentation, these errors would be so minimal that it would most likely have very little effect on your overall score.  
  
The main mistake that I can see here is in the concluding summary. While you did offer a repeat of your personal opinion based on the discussion, you should have continued to present that opinion within the "extent" response that you gave in the prompt paraphrase.  
  
In addition to that, you forgot to present a rephrased discussion of the given topic before offer a summary of your discussion reasons.  
  
Consider the concluding summary as a reverse prompt paraphrase. This time, indicate a new presentation for the same discussion topic , the supporting reasons, your opinion, and a closing sentence.  
  
All of these are meant to help boost your LR and GRA scores since you will be restating your presentation of the prompt and its accompanying discussion in a new manner.  
  
In terms of presentation, don't use informal language such as contractions (What's worse = What is worse) and "they had loads of choices" should be in any of the following formal language combinations: "they have many/plenty/several/ assorted choices".  
  
Using more descriptive adjectives will also help increase your GRA score (e.g. similar products = equivalent products, different styles = distinctive styles, large extent = a considerable extent) The use of more descriptive adjectives will help create more complex sentence presentations as well.  
  
Like I said, the presentation mistakes are minimal and would not really have a direct effect on your overall score. However, improving your presentation style to reflect a more complex use of words and sentence presentations can only help to further boost your final score. Good work. I look forward to reviewing your next practice essay.
## Writing task 1: Ielts - Bar Chart

  
  
The graph below shows the quantities of goods transported in the UK between 1974 and 2002 by four different modes of transport.  
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.  
  
My essay:  
The mentioned line chart elucidates the quantities of goods delivered in the United Kingdom by 4 different methods of transport in the period of 1974 to 2002.  
  
As can be seen from the graph, the amount of goods transported by road, water, pipeline gradually increased while the mass of goods fetched by rail remained constant at about 40 million tonnes. It is notable that the largest quantities of goods transported in the UK throughout 28 years were delivered by road while the opposite was true for pipeline.  
  
The period between 1978 and 1982 and another between 1990 and 1994 witnessed a slight decrease in the amount of goods transferred by road. It is intriguing that goods delivered by water and rail both declined in this time. However, there was a moderate growth in the aforementioned goods transported by pipeline.  
  
Starting at nearly 40 million tonnes in 1974, the quantities of goods transported by water showed an upward trend, but later went up steadily to reach a peak at more than 60 million tonnes. Many marginal declines of 10 million tonnes were experienced in the amount of goods delivered by rail, nevertheless it stilll reached a plateau at 40 million tonnes.  
  
Thanks for helping me
Since you did not provide a copy of the image for review, I can only offer you a general review based on your grammar presentation. I cannot judge your work based on the prompt provided because there is no image to compare your information and other presentation points to. Please remember to provide the image next time to receive a comprehensive review. For now, I can only make the below comments regarding your work:  
  
I realize that you are writing this essay under time constraints but you still have to be careful about the way you write your words. Simple wrong spellings such as an extra L in the word "still" can result in a reduced LR score for you. Always remember to edit and revise your content based upon mistakes you spot after writing the draft. Don't just write the essay then proceed to submit it for a grade. That is the most definite way to fail these types of exams.  
  
Your GRA score will not reach a passing consideration because your paragraphs are overly long run-on sentences. You are combining 2 topics per sentence for some reason, which makes the essay difficult to follow for the reader. The difficulty in keeping track of the discussion will also have a lowering score effect on your C&C score. Every paragraph should have a total of 3-5 sentences that clearly explain related information from each connected information in the image. That is not properly discussed and presented in this essay.  
  
I will limit my advice to these sections of your writing problems for the moment. It is really difficult to assess your work for other quality considerations due to the lack of image. I look forward to reviewing your next Task 1 essay, this time with an uploaded image for comparison and consideration purposes.
**It is important for all towns and cities to have large public outdoor places like squares and parks.  
TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE?**  
  
Nowadays, some people believe that constructing lots of public outdoor places is essential for urban areas, while others hold an opposite opinion, I personally favor the former point of view.  
  
It cannot be denied that building squares or parks wastes part of the land. The land price is truly high in the city so that each acre of lands should be used to make profits, such as building companies, department store, and so on. However, it would be difficult for citizens to live in a place, which is full of skyscrapers, without any public outdoor facility.  
  
On the other hand, people living in the city need some outdoor places to release their stress. For instance, in Asia, employees always work hard and often work over time. People have plenty of pressure due to high living prices as well as low salary. Therefore, public parks would be an ideal place for them to escape the hustle and bustle city life. They are not only able to sit on the grassland and relax, bit also can have a picnic with their family or friends.  
  
In addition, public outdoor places provide lots of space for citizens to do various activities. In the squares, old people can do some morning exercises, chatting with each others to make friends. Children can play at the playground and feed fishes around the pound in the park. Furthermore, public places decorate the towns and cities, which make our living space more colorful instead of being filled with industrial buildings.  
  
In conclusion, when it comes to the issue regarding public outdoor facilities, I would like to support constructing facilities since people living in the city would own places to do anything they want and also make the cities prettier.
You should not write "while others hold an opposite opinion" because it is not mentioned in the question. This is not a discussion essay.  
  
The first paragraph is not necessary as it contradicts your point of view. In your introduction, you say that you agree to the construction of public outdoor places, so there's no need for describing a drawback of these places. Instead, you should give one more advantage to further explain your view.  
  
Also, you have some problems with writing more complex sentences. Take some sentences for examples:  
  
*"They are able to not only sit on ... but also have a picnic ..."*  
  
*"Furthermore, public places, which decorate the towns and cities, make our living space ..."*  
Note that relative pronouns are placed directly after the noun or pronoun they modify.  
  
Using too many short sentences isn't a good idea, so you should try to combine them. I would write a longer sentence:  
"For instance, in Asia, employees always work under pressure as they struggle to earn more money to cope with the high cost of living in cities."  
  
There are also many grammatical errors in your essay. I suggest you use some online grammar checkers to find your mistakes.
Sun, the first thing that i noticed with this essay is that you failed to properly address the task requirement which is to indicate the extent of your (dis)agreement with the essay topic. The requirement asks you to present a measured response in relation to the given topic and reason for the discussion. You failed to do that because you did not indicate:  
  
I partially dis/agree  
I fully dis/agree  
I totally dis/agree  
  
and other variations of measured response presentations. Since you say that you personally favor the latter point of view, then the proper response would have been "I fully disagree" with the given opinion.  
  
There is also no need to cite an opposing point of view in this presentation because there is no opposing point of view presented in the essay. As such, this is a single opinion essay based on a singular topic and reason. There is no room for a comparative essay in this discussion. A comparative essay instruction will be far different from this one. A comparative essay will indicate 2 public opinions in the discussion presentation then require you to present an explanation of the 2 opinions before adding your personal opinion. That instruction is not within this essay discussion therefore your approach to the discussion is incorrect.  
  
These are the reasons why your essay discussion is not acceptable for the given prompt / discussion instruction. Therefore, when the added low scores based on other criteria for the essay are considered in totality, you will not be able to meet the requirements for a passing score.
*Essay: Disruptive school students have a negative influence on others. Students who are noisy and disobedient should be grouped together and taught separately.  
Do you agree or disagree with this view ? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from you experience.*  
  
## classifying students on the basis of their behaviour

  
  
My essay for feedback:  
  
Every student in a school are different from the other students in terms of their academics and behaviour. At the same time each of them are equal when it comes to the responsibilities of the school. A lot of school follows the concept of grouping the students as per their marks scored and specially as per their behaviour. I do that agree to this kind of classification at all.  
  
Firstly, each student learn from the other fellow classmate. If we put them with well mannered group, there is a fair chance that there will be an improvement in terms of the ettiquette of the bad ones. I can fairly relate this to my friends back in school with absolute contrasting level of concentration on studies and manners where made to sit on the same desk in the final year. Eventually, both landed in well ranked colleges afte their high school exams. Secondly, it has been observed that the notorious students always perform their activities in group. So, making them sit in one class will only accelerate their tendency of disruption. One always needs a good example to look up to in order to get a direction in life.  
  
In the end, we can say that classifying students on the basis of their behaviour will only plummet their scope of growth in future. At the same time, mixing them well might help in their overall development due to peer pressure. Therefore, it is absolutely necessary for the schools to not group them as per their behaviour.
I am not a native speaker but few errors I can highlight in your essay so that u improve next time.  
  
Introduction: Your opinion is not clear : I do that agree to this ...  
Try to write outline statement with a small reason to your agreement or disagreement  
  
There should be atleast two body paragraphs  
  
Few errors highlighted below:  
~~other fellow classmate~~ use only "classmate" or change the sentence as something looks wrong here.  
Every student... ~~are~~ is different  
~~each~~ all of them  
~~the~~ their responsibilities  
A lot of school follow~~s~~  
  
Also, try to use multiple sentence structures in your essay  
  
Conclusion: your opinion is not clear in conclusion  
it is absolutely necessary for the schools to not group them as per their behaviour rephrase the sentence as it is confusing
Rites, there are a few spelling errors in your essay. The mistakes are: ettiquette = etiquette and afte=after. There is also a subject-verb disagreement existing in your use of "are" in the sentence:  
  
At the same time each of them are equal when it comes to the responsibilities of the school  
  
This should follow the singular presentation using the word "is" because you used the individual count by saying "each of them". Then you neglected to use the connecting word "a" when you wrote "If we put them with well-mannered group..." The connecting word "a" should have been placed between "with" and "well-mannered" to create a more coherent presentation.  
  
I believe that you made a mistake while typing your response sentence in the prompt paraphrase. You should have said that "I do NOT agree with..." you accidentally typed "That" in place of "Not".  
  
Now for the bigger problem in your essay. The minimum paragraph requirement is 4 paragraphs per essay. You have to discuss the reasons and examples using at least 2 paragraphs. This essay, based on the prompt requirement, seems to require 2 reasoning paragraphs. The 2 reasoning paragraph essay could have indicated, per paragraph:  
  
1. A reason for your personal opinion;  
2. A relevant example.  
  
Each paragraph should have only 1 discussion topic per presentation. Since you had 2 reasons, you should have presented the 2nd reason as the 2nd reasoning paragraph. That way your paragraphs would have been completely developed and clearly understood by the reader. The current presentation feels rushed and lacking in proper discussion development.  
  
While you will not be losing points in terms of discussion considerations (you typed 255 words and are over the minimum count), it is important to produce 4 paragraphs for your presentation to gain a maximum TA score. That is where your essay would end up losing points with this type of presentation.
**In some large cities, people have to pay a fee when they drive their cars into the city center, in a policy to reduce the number of cars in the city  
  
Give reasons in support of, and opposing this policy, and give your opinion.**  
  
## I'm pro free access to all cities

  
  
Traffic regulation in large cities has caused controversy since drivers are compelled to pay a fee whenever they commute to the city centers by cars. Although some opinions have supported the policy because it reduces car accidents, others have been in opposition to the traffic strategy in term of high-cost expenses. In my opinion, car owners should have had free access to all cities due to their citizen privilege.  
  
In particularly, whoever acknowledged that collisions have been attributable to car numbers has embraced the policy due to its concern. This strategy confines commuters to public transports which alleviates both congested roads and car crashes in big cities. Indeed, in the past few decades, thousands of people perished in vehicle collisions, and these figures alerted city dwellers cautions.  
  
Even though people conceded the practical nature of the plan, they have been elusive to confront the financial struggle every month which is extended by this payment. Commuters traveling to cities have not managed to tackle the high-cost expense; therefore, this law has deliberately augmented their monthly invoices. Consequently, car owners are remaining in exasperation with the transportation rule.  
  
Neither did the policy lessened the number of cars in big cities, nor it restricted commuters to public carriers. Hence, I believe that drivers ought not to pay for the road assessment because it is inequitable and insufficient.  
  
In conclusion, road payment has approached awareness from the community who concern about vehicle collisions, whereas others have questioned the effectiveness of the strategy because it originated the risen price. However, no matter how practical the plan is, the commuters commuting to cities should not pay for road assessment.
Han you delivered a wonderful prompt paraphrase and direct response to the instructions provided in the essay. The fact that you remembered to follow the discussion outline you presented in your reasoning paragraphs shows that you have improved in your writing skills. The only thing that is missing from your reasoning paragraph presentations are the transition sentences. The transition sentence shows a higher degree of writing skill as you are able to show that you can relate your first topic to the next topic in the conversation. This prepares the reader for the change in discussion slant and also, allows you to properly close the current reasoning paragraph. That does not take away the fact that you did a good job writing the reasoning paragraphs though.  
  
I found your personal opinion to be lacking in discussion development because you used only 2 sentences in that paragraph. It could have been better developed in presentation for a higher C&C score. Now, while your language skills still need some work, it is not so bad that the essay would come across as confusing or stressful to read. In fact, the errors in GRA consideration are so minimal and does not really stress out the reader. Your topic and discussion remained clear despite the sentence development and presentation errors so I do not doubt that you would get a decent score in that regard as well.
The graphs below show the number of drivers in Britain who have been caught driving too fast by speed cameras placed on roads, and the number of people killed in road accidents, over an eight-year period since the introduction of speed cameras. The tables shows the results of a survey on people's opinions on speed cameras.  
  
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.  
  
## number of drivers violating speed limits

  
  
Here is my writing:  
  
While the graphs illustrate the number of Britain drivers who have been detected driving too fast by cameras installed on roads, as well as the number of casualties over an eight-year-period; the tables give information on how people think about speed cameras via a poll result. In general, even though more and more drivers are fined, the number of deaths caused by traffic accident changes slightly with the negative opinion of citizens against speed cameras.  
  
It can be seen obviously that the number of drivers violating speed limit rises dramatically, starting at 200.000 and then rocket to 1.600.000 in the period. In other words, the data for careless drivers in the 8th year is eight times higher than in the 1st year. In contrast, the number of fatalities caused by road accidents fluctuates with small dips in the 4th and 6th years .  
  
Clear perspectives of people about speed cameras can be drawn from the tables. Nearly two-third of participants think that speed cameras are ineffective in reducing traffic collisions. In addition, 74% of interviewees believe that the purpose of setting up cameras is not for road safety and more than half subscribe to the idea that those cameras are redundant.  
  
*
Ngo, you have written too many words for this essay. You will lose editing time when you write more than 175 words for this sort of essay. You must allow time to review and edit your writing because turning in unedited work could result in a lower final score for you. Also, the paragraph requirement for the Task 1 essay is 4 paragraphs. You only presented 3 paragraphs. This could prove to be an issue for you in the actual test setting.  
  
The opening paragraph should properly identify the types of images given for the essay. By saying "While the graphs..." it appears that you have already identified the type of images presented, which should be the first sentence in the first paragraph. You did not do this. Therefore your work appears to start at the middle of the essay, with you fully expecting that the reader knows what images were presented to you. The idea is that the reader has not seen the images so your report analysis should first identify the images. Then you can say "While the graphs..." but not before then.  
  
Your trending sentence should have represented the 3 identifiable measurements in the essay. One for the number of accidents, the other for the opinion of people regarding the speed cameras, and finally, the reason why people think speed cameras are needed. Your trending statement is therefore incomplete. In this instance, due to the number of graphs provided, the trending statement should have been the second paragraph after the opening summary, thus completing the 4 paragraph requirement for this task.  
  
When you mention the small dips, mention the figures in the chart. Remember, this is a factual report. Data must be accurate and complete. Your report leaves the reader guessing most of the time, hence it does not come across as truly informative nor useful in content. Never use fraction references when actual percentages are provided. Accuracy is the name of the game in this essay and by changing the information presentation, you create inaccurate reports and references.  
  
Using fractions then suddenly changing to percentages will cause undue stress for the reader and affect your TI and GRA scores as a confusion within the presentation is created, leaving the reader questioning what information has just been presented to them. Your job in this essay is to make the analysis of information easier, not more confusing, for the reader. Always use the data provided in its original form to complete the Task Instructions.