dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
The prompt restatement of the student should have been clearer in reference to the original prompt. The given sentences do not really adhere to the given statement / idea, so the thesis statement that the examiner expected to read was not of a very good quality. It can only be weakly scored because it is basically empty of context. A better paraphrase would have been:  
  
*I can definitely see what advantages there are to wearing a school uniform such as (reason 1) and (connected reason 2). Then again I also consider uniform dreassing in schools as a disadvantage because (reason 1) and (connected reason 2). I would like to explain my opinion so that the public can make their own decision regarding this topic.*  
  
What did the above presentation create for the task accuracy score of the test taker?  
1. It created 2 summarized discussion outline presentations.  
2. The summarized reasons led to the creation of general discussion considerations for the reader as required by the presentation instructions.  
  
Remember that this is a general statement essay. As such, the prompt does not ask the writer to make a decision for the reader but rather, inform the reader to allow them to come to their own decision. When the prompts provided are along these lines, the writer should present clear reasons and explanations, but allow the readers to come to their own conclusions since the writer is not directed to create a conclusion for the explanation paragraphs. That means the belief of the writer should not be factored into the discussion, most specially in the concluding statement. It should disseminate information, but not make decisions for the reader.  
  
The writer took the correct approach to the discussion though. He kept it general and did not reflect a personal opinion in the paragraphs. Good work on keeping the explanations generalized in terms of opinion presentation. That is exactly the kind of writing this prompt requires. Remember, there are no right or wrong opinions for these types of prompts, only conclusions that the readers can arrive at for themselves based on the given writer considered discussion points.
## history as a mandatory subject

  
  
Education is always considered as a fundamental formation to everyone to develop themselves in the future. Therefore, it is hotly-debated topic that divided several different views. Recently, history has become a compulsory subject at high school; however, some stick to the idea that students should spend mostly time on learning natural subjects such as maths, physics. In my opinion, I think that history is a mandatory subject is a right decision  
  
To commence with, thanks to this decision of ministry of education it helps each student in Vietnam be aware of the importance of history. From that they will have the right attitude to this subject. Besides, others often feel bored and say that history does not help them anything in the future, thus owing to becoming a core subject, it makes change their mind and gradually respect this subject more.  
  
Furthermore, that learning history as an important subject at school also help students have a huge broad of knowledge about it. After accumulating these lessons about history in the classroom, students can comprehend deeply what ancestors sacrificed to protect the country's independence and create a peaceful life as now. As a result, they will try their best to study well and have an optimistic outlook to their living. These devotion of the former generation is a endless resource of motivation to fulfill themselves better. Moreover, history also bring them enormous precious experiences and meaningful lessons in order to avoid the same situations in the past.  
  
In conclusion, it is logical when history is announced to be a mandatory subject . Being a senior at high school, I am trying to learn history well in particular and other subject in general to deserve with what people in the past did.
The first 2 sentences in the prompt restatement could cause the paragraph to receive a failing score due to the discussion deviation that the thoughts presented. These are no doubt the personal opinion of the writer and as such, should not be included in the prompt restatement. It could be used to present his personal opinion, but it cannot be used as a part of the topic restatement since it does not relate to the actual discussion topic. Education is not the focal point of the essay. The subjects taught in school are the target of the discussion. Those are 2 different topics for discussion. Focus on the one related to the original presentation.  
  
thanks to this decision of ministry of education it helps each student in Vietnam  
The writer has created a country focused discussion which is not the expected response format for this essay. The writer's opinion must be presented in a general manner that can apply to any country in the world. He cannot focus specifically on his home country because there is no specific country given in the discussion. Also, the reference to the country, but not a personal experience of the writer tends to disqualify this as an example. Had he related the decision to his own learning process, then the given paragraph would have better met the writing requirements.  
  
help students  
There is a disconnection between the previous reasoning paragraph and the second reasoning paragraph. That is because the first reason focuses on Vietnam alone while the second paragraph uses the general (worldwide) reference instead. Hence the lack of cohesiveness between the paragraph presentations for the public opinion discussion.  
  
Being a senior at high school, I am trying to learn history well  
This explanation is not acceptable as a part of the concluding summary. This is a personal opinion presentation and therefore, should be the 3rd paragraph of the essay. This needs to be more properly and fully developed in order to receive a proper scoring consideration in relation to the public opinion paragraphs.  
  
The essay was concluded without the proper reverse paraphrase presentation. So the examiner will see this as an open ended essay. He will score down the task accuracy of this essay, leading to a failing score based on 2 reasons:  
  
1. The inclusion of an irrelevant reference leading to a topic deviation in the prompt paraphrase  
2. The lack of a proper summarized discussion point presentation and topic restatement in the concluding summary  
  
These are but a few of several errors in this presentation in relation to the scoring considerations that could hinder the ability of the writer to reach an overall passing score consideration.
## Tiktok evaluation

  
  
In recent years, Tiktok has become a viral social media application that attracts many people to use, especially adolescents. While this trend would create considerable benefits, there will be certain drawbacks that need to be considered.  
  
On the one hand, young people can have a relaxing time and learn much from Tiktok without consuming much time. This platform allows users to watch short and funny videos from many places in the world with various content, which helps them relieve stress and pressure from their studying. Furthermore, there are many channels for education or soft skills that young people can benefit from. Another advantage that Tiktok brings to users is making income from this popular application. Specifically, the youth can earn money from the content they create on Tiktok, which is a great way to help them become financially independent and offer them an opportunity to become potential content creators.  
  
On the other hand, watching Tiktok uncontrollably affects adolescents' behavior. Due to different content from Tiktok, users may watch certain offensive and unsuitable ones. As a result, they can imitate the way people act on Tiktok wrongly, such as cyberbullying their friends or behaving toward their parents inappropriately. Moreover, as other social media applications, spending much time watching Tiktok has a negative impact on adolescents' health. They might strain their eyes in front of the phone's screen for hours and become inactive in physical activities. Thus, this may cause many related diseases such as obesity or near-sightedness.  
  
In conclusion, although there are certain downsides along with the upsides of this trend, young people should be encouraged to manage their time spent on using Tiktok to take the greatest advantage of this social media application.
The examiner may not consider this essay as properly developed and discussed as the advantage and disadvantage paragraphs were not cohesively developed. As the writer knows, part of the scoring rubic is the cohesiveness and coherence of the paragraph. When discussing an A v. D prompt, this means that the 2 paragraphs need to connect based on previously stated reasons.  
  
Each paragraph should clearly explain first, why an opinion is an advantage then second, why it is actually a disadvantage. The prompt requires proper subject and analysis development in order to score based on advanced writing skills. The current presentation will receive a passing score, but cannot score based on advanced considerations due to the lack of connection between the topic presentations. While the analysis is acceptable, it is not fully and properly developed based on full scoring considerations.  
  
The writer also misuses the apostrophe in the presentation. This seems to be a common error among ESL students. They misplace the apostrophe, creating an ownership format when he was trying to indicate a plural word form. It will help if the student continues to improve his grammar rules knowledge to avoid deductions in that scoring section.  
  
Further problems occurred in the score because the summary conclusion offers a solution suggestion. This is not a required part of the discussion and will result in a severe TA score deduction. The essay could potentially be given a failing score since the essay is now seen as not having a properly formatted concluding statement. Saying "In conclusion" without actually concluding the essay in the required format does not create an acceptable and scorable conclusion.
Please correct my writing. Thank you so much!  
  
## the data on imported seafood

  
  
The charts and table paint an overall picture of the value of seafood imported to the UK and the percentages of the imports from three countries over a twenty-year period.  
  
Overall, while Polish imports dramatically diminished from 1987 to 2007, the importation of seafood from Germany and Sweden sharply increased. Also, imports to the UK nearly doubled in those 20 years.  
  
Whereas imports from Poland in 1987 were nearly double the combined imports from Germany and Sweden, they had dwindled to 30% of the total by 2007. Conversely, German seafood imports increased four-fold by 1997, although after that, the rise over the next ten years was minimal. Similarly, the tonnage of seafood coming from Sweden into the UK increased substantially from 28% in 1987 to 43% in 2007.  
  
In terms of the value of seafood imports, it climbed from $7.4 million in 1987 to nearly double in 2007.  
  
*
The essay appears to be 2 words short of the 150 minimum presentation. So there will be word count percentage deductions for the missing words. Yes, it is going to be a minimal deduction but, still a deduction which should be avoided as much as possible. Make sure that the minimum count will be met. What I suggest that the students do during the practive test is to make sure that they write 5 lines of words / sentences. That way there will not be a need to keep track of the word count. Learning to judge the word count by visual presentation will help a lot towards avoiding the word count deductions.  
  
Images always contain highlightable information that need to be presented in the summary paragraph. In this instance, the incomplete summary overview was the reason why the word count minimum was not met. The listing of required information was lacking in the paragraph. This is necessary for the proper short report form requirement for the task.  
  
The additional problem point for this essay is the last paragraph that does not contain completely developed information. It is unacceptable in this essay to present only a single sentence. That does not qualify as a complete paragraph. A complete paragraph in the task 1 and 2 essay should always be composed of 3-5 sentences.
## Impact of Music on Society

  
  
Music has numerous impacts in our daily life. It is not only to help people relax after working times or convey the cultures to different places, but it is also a suitable method of connecting people of many ages and areas together. From my perspective, I strongly agree with the given statement, and this essay will discuss the reasons why and elaborate upon them with many supporting ideas.  
  
To begin with, music can transfer the characteristics of that country. For example, Vietnam has many national instruments like monochord. When some composers are inspired by them and use them to create the beat and perform the songs on social media or on stage, it can get attention from the audiences. After watching the performance and being attracted, the audiences may look for information about the songs, and the birth of the instrument, and they can learn how to use this. In addition, in many music videos, artists also use many spectacular scenes, the national clothes. For an instant, Hoang Thuy Linh always uses these things in her music videos, and a lot of foreign people love this. They are interested in her talents, her beautiful voice, and the beauty of her culture.  
  
The second main point is that music can help people of many ages connect. Many well-known bands such as Westlife, and One Direction, or singers like Michale Jackson have several songs that all generations can enjoy. Family members like parents and children can share their feelings about the songs. Furthermore, the adults also tell the young the experience or stories that the songs contain like war, love, and life's experiences. Besides, adults may listen to music for the young because of many reasons such as the songs are catchy, or they want to have the topic to communicate with the children.  
  
On the whole, music has numerous advantages for society. Not only it helps people to know the diverse culture, but also brings people together.
The topic is not a restatement but an opinion presentation of the writer which is not the expected interpretation for the given topic. As such, the topic rephrasing will receive a failing consideration. The writer must avoid immediately discussing his opinion in the first paragraph as that is a content and format specific paragraph which establishes the foundational score of the essay. This presentation misses on that mark. The writer's opinion presentation is incomplete because he did offer a measured response, but failed to summarize his reasons for his opinion. The clarity of his opinion will also be scored based upon his summarized reasoning presentation and its relevance to the discussion + his opinion.  
  
As for the reasoning paragraphs, I would have to say that these are solidly presented and uses relatable examples to support its explanation. There is no problem with the relevance of the examples and the validity of the explanations. The writer uses simple English words that, since these are properly used in the sentence, created understandable sentence structures that allow for easy understanding of the text. These are definitely C+C increasing considerations although the actual mix of various sentence types will be considered missing to a partial extent.  
  
When it comes to the concluding summary, there is a problem with the presentation because it does not meet the reverse paraphrase requirements of the presentation. In fact, it offers a prompt deviation that will negatively affect the final score of the presentation.
## Is the Internet "Making Us Stupid"?

  
***Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.**  
Write at least 250 words.*  
  
Nowadays, it is possible for people to go out without cellphones. The internet makes our life easier and more convenient in every simple task, such as finding ways, reserving a table and even seeing a doctor. That is, people rely on their smartphones to solve most of the problems in living than in the past days. It is obvious that the internet makes us smarter but also degrades our independent thinking in the long term.  
  
The curiosity is decreased by the online packaged information, when people are getting used to looking for the answer on the searching engine website. It is common that all we need information can be found on the internet, with the anonymous author, social media or business campaigns; however, it doesn't mean those contents are correct. By knowing these information with a simple click on the phone, it is efficient and fast to learn but no one will spend time solving the real problems simultaneously. That is, the process of finding solutions may be ignored. Although the internet provides accessible information, it actually harms the brainstorming process.  
  
Misleading information leads to the crisis of critical thinking in every aspect of life. Everyone knows the online resource varies thoughts in our minds; nevertheless the exposure of messages changes our conception and norms. For instance, the news of the election for city mayors in 2018, the candidate of Taipei city mayor used strategies on social media to win the support of the young generation. In that period of time, people see all the advertising, policy discussion and videos covered with hopeful impressions, gradually lose their own viewpoints. The internet accelerated the message spreading and leads to a kind of brainwashing easily than the traditional marketing method. Therefore the misleading messages online makes people have difficulties in distinguish the accuracy and ambiguity, the influential impression planted in our mind become stereotype in the future.  
  
In conclusion, the disadvantage of the internet outweighs the benefits for our human intelligence. While people have no interests in finding new ideas in life, it is hard to say the society can be improved in the near future. Also, the media exposure conveys the phenomenon of whether the audience needs to choose information or not by critical thinking.
The writer has shown that there was no double checking of the information written prior to the submission of this essay for grading. The prompt restatement paragraph and writer's opinion presentation are conflicting and therefore, confuses the examiener as to what the real opinion of the writer is. For specificity, refer to the following sections of the aforementioned text:  
  
it is possible for people to go out without cellphones.  
people rely on their smartphones  
This is the conflict of interest that immediately creates a failing TA score and GRA score. How can it be possible for people to not bring their phones with them and yet, rely on their cellphones? See the problem in the discussion presentation? The essay has already failed the most important pre-scoring aspects at this point that will prevent this essay from receiving a passing score.
## co2 emissions per person

  
  
The line graph illustrates the average amount of carbon dioxide each person emitted in 4 European countries during a 40-year period from 1967.  
  
Overall, whereas the figure of the UK took the first place despite having dropped, that of Portugal was opposite.  
  
As can be seen from the chart, the mass of carbon dioxide emitted in Italy started the period at about 4 tonnes and continuously grew in the next 3 decades. In 1990 it peaked at nearly 8 tonnes and remained stable until the end of the period. Similarly, the figure of Portugal went up steadily by over 4 tonnes until 1997 and leveled off at over 5 tonnes during the last 10 years. Despite this marked growth, it took the last place in the end.  
  
However, carbon emissions in both the United Kingdom and Sweden followed downward patterns. In spite of a consistent decline from 11 tonnes to 9 tonnes, residents in the former country still emitted the most carbon dioxide in 2007. Meanwhile, although in the first 10 years there was an increase of more than 1 tonne, this figure of the latter country considerably fell during the next decade and hit the bottom of around 5 tonnes, the same ending point as Portugal.  
  
*
The acemmary overview takes too many information shortcuts that it led to an uninformative presentation. Never leave out the specific years or dates of mention, always include a listing of the information for comparison, and provide the measurement type and basis. These are all necessary for the proper understanding of the trending statement on the part of the reader. A complete summary effectively completes the report as a rundown, without the need to read the actual report hence the need to present a concise and coherent summary statement.  
  
The report should use more of the actual dates rather than alternatives in this case since the writer did not properly state the period of coverage in the summary, and he kept using alternate references in the report. It would be beat for him to focus on proper information dissemination in relation to LR usage.
***TOPIC*:  
*Nowadays, distance-learning programs have gained in popularity, but some people argue that courses can never be taken as good as those by attending a college or university in person.  
  
## To what extent do you agree or disagree?***  
  
That people demand different ways of learning has led to the growth of online courses. It is commonly believed by some that learning in person is better than online courses, I strongly agree with this statement for several reasons.  
  
There is no doubt that learning online has various barriers that lecturers could not handle. First and foremost, the duration of online courses might be interrupted due to error connections that result from weak internet accessibility or overloading accession. Thus, the disconnection might cause confusion and lead to time-consuming during the class. Apart from it, mentors might not be able to observe whether or not attendees are focused exclusively on the class since some students do other activities such as sleeping or eating behind cameras. As a result, learning effectively might be impossible in such online courses.  
  
Moreover, there are several obstacles that could not be solved directly during online classes. It is clear that some students might find it difficult to accumulate side skills along with practical knowledge in distance-learning because they could not interact with their peers face-to-face in order to gain personal abilities in teamwork, such as leadership or cooperating. Furthermore, the interaction between students and teachers is also limited in online courses since there might be thousands of attendees in the class and mentors could not respond immediately when there are questions from students. Therefore, it is considered to be an inconvenient learning approach.  
  
In conclusion, I strongly agree that online courses could not provide effective learning as the mainstream classes for the reasons of network interruptions and difficulties interacting with mentors and peers.