dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
## How Australians and Canadians get their news?

  
  
The pie chart shown above illustrates and compares the ways citizens of Australia and Canada access the news. In general, we can see that there's some similar patterns and also some significant differences between each country.  
  
To look into details, 36% of Canadian citizens prefer to go online while in Australia there is a significant more amount of people that use the internet which is 52% ,more than half, of all Australians. This makes a 16% difference between each country. Another method of learning about news that is similarly popular in both countries is watching the news on TV. 40% of Canadian and 37% of Australian citizens prefer TV, which makes a 3% gap between them. According to the chart we can clearly radio and print are the less preferred ways accessing news. 14% of Canada uses prints and 7% use radio, making radio the lesser preferred between the two. Comformably it is in the same order in Australia too, with print being 7% and radio taking up only 2%.  
  
Overall, it can be confidently said while people of both countries share similar methods of accessing news however the number of people using them varies by each country. It's clear the usage of modern ways (such as internet and TV) are used more commonly than others.  
  
\*\*i know i'm not good with academic language so i would appreciate constructive criticism.
The first thing you have to note about a task 1 essay is that it is unnecessary and actually frowned upon to note the position of the image within the summary overview or reporting paragraphs. That is because the reader is assumed to not have a copy of the image and therefore, incapable of looking at the image directly to compare your reporting to. The target audience will simply have to take your word for it. So do not mention the image position at all.  
  
When it comes to pronoun usage, it is best to not make any reference at all since this is a general audience presentation. There is no need to use first, second, or third pronouns, singular or otherwise since this is supposed to be an unbiased analytical presentation rather than an opinion discussion. Just report the facts in a straightforward manner. Do not say "According to..." because the chart is not saying anything. While it is a reference point for the discussion, the use of "according to" shows a limitation in the writer's knowledge of English writing rules and general word usage. Pay more attention to the target audience word usage instead. For example, use an academic tone for university professors, a professional tone for business executives, etc.  
  
Task 1 essays do not need to have more than a 200 word count. That is because the focus of the essay is on a quick reporting style rather than a heavily analytical one. Do not overcompose any of the paragraphs either. There needs to be a balanced 3 paragraph discussion. Rather than placing the trending statement at the end, which is still acceptable, it is usually more effective for task clarity purposes to place that as a merged presentation within the summary overview. That way more focus can be made to explaining and comparing the content of the image over a 2 paragraph setting.  
  
This is not a bad effort though. Just remember the corrections and observations made above and the next essay should come across as better written and developed.
***The charts below show the levels of participation in education and science in developing and industrialized countries in 1980 and 1990.***  
## Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

  
  
The three given charts give information about the average of schooling, the rate of scientists ad technicians spending on research and development in developing and industrialized countries over the period of ten years starting from 1980.  
  
The years of schooling in developing countries and industrialized countries were over 2 and 8 years respectively in 1980. After ten years, the figures for the engagement in education in industrialized countries was nearly as three times as the statistic in developing countries. In the second paragraph, the number of scientists and technicians in developing witnessed a marginal change, from 10 in 1980 to approximately 17 people in 1990. In contrast, there was a considerable increase in the proportion of scientists and technicians in industrialized countries, was increased by 30 people in the given period. Finally, the cost spent on research and development experienced the downward trend which reduced from over 50 billions to in excess of 20 billions in 1990. In contrast, the proportion of allocation money to study and development rose to 350 US billions which doubled the cost in 1980
The writing instruction can be vague aboutthe image reference. It can give oonly a general description since the examiner will be scoring the writer on the correct and specific image qualifiers in the summary overview. That means the writer should be more detailed in his short report. The last thing the writer is expected to present is a cumulative topic sentence. Each summary must be composed of at least 3 sentences. This is based on the single idea per sentence requirement of the C + C section. Failure to do so results in a confusing sentence presentation since it has no clear central idea focus.  
  
It will recieve a failing GRA score for that paragraph as well. The summary is also missing a trending reference so the essay cannot be considered completely developed. Missing important points affect the task and response format accuracy scores.  
  
Incorrect paragraph formatting will also affect the final score. A multiple image analysis should be properly grouped or divided into 2 analysis paragraphs. This essay could have been better presented. The writer should have made an effort to meet the correct formatting requirements to achieve a decent score.
**Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.  
  
## Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.**  
  
Parenting has long been a major topic regarding both scholarly research and daily discussion for decades. Despite the fact that there is an increasingly popular opinion claiming that letting children have a complete decision on daily routines such as meal, styling, and amusement will eventually trigger negative individualism, other people are prone to believe that independent decision making is crucial for nurturing children more comprehensively.  
  
As a matter of fact, decision making is largely considered a compulsory skill regardless of various personality tendencies and thinking patterns. And not to mention that decision making is still a difficult task for grown-up individuals, it is becoming more and more significant to teach children how to make decisions on their own for the ultimate purpose of achieving self-sufficient and self-dependent at later ages. Indeed, the most optimal approach to illustrate to children the nature of decision making is to initially imply it in their simple daily routines. In other words, the exposure of children toward the choices of what to eat, what to wear, and what to play will concretely form a solid foundation for them to retain consistency in further life-long issues which requisite decisive characteristics.  
  
On top of that, individuals who constantly put themselves first and only care about themselves while ignoring the well-being of others are more likely a result of failure in parenting regarding numerous aspects from an early age, rather than being affected by the opportunities to conduct choices that are passed on by their parents. Common belief indicates that children are a real reflection of their parents and the environment in which they grew up in. For instance, if a mother or father has a frequent tendency in behaving selfishly toward the surrounding people, there would be a significant likelihood that a child will grow up being selfish and lack sympathy as well as possess a low level of emotional intelligence. Nurturing patterns and influences from parents' behaviors are the key drivers that contribute greatly to a children's personality and attitude toward the surrounding environment in the future, rather than the early decision-making opportunities that are held accountable for the mentioned controversy.  
  
According to the above analysis, I incline to believe it should not be certain that children's decision making on simple routines will bring along negative individualism in the upcoming ages. Alternatively, encouraging independent decision making will surprisingly cater for a more comprehensive outcome regarding self-sufficient and self-dependent.
The first error that must be addressed in this essay is the over-writing. 402 words is 102 words over the suggested 300 word count. This is indicative of a practice test that was completed without the benefit of using a40 minute timer. If a timer had been used, then the writer would know his actual mitten word count limitation.  
  
There are inaccuracies to be found in this essay as well. The irrelevant first sentence deals with information that is not shared by the original. This is going to be considered a score deductible topic deviation. While the proceeding sentence properly represents the given discussion points, the missing (required) writer's opinion will be another negative score for the paragraph.  
  
It should be obvious by now that an over-written essay that does not meet the writing requirements will not get a passing score. Response format correctness is a major scoring consideration Do that improperly and a failing score will be the end result. Scores are based on writing compliance, not the word count.  
  
Opinions presented are also not correctly discussed. There is only a singular point of view present were comparative viewpoints are needed. Wherever  
  
Some people  
and   
  
Other people  
keywords are used in a presentation, the public V. personal analysis must be used for each prompt stated opinion.  
  
By providing a clear personal opencon in the conclusion, The writer mistakenly created an open-ended essay. The lack of a concluding summary will result in an overall failing score due to task writing inaccuracies.
## Around The World, Many Adults Are Working From Home, And More Children Are Beginning To Study

  
  
It has been suggested that nowadays, more and more children tend to learn knowledge at home instead of going to schools or extra classes, and so do adults, owing to the development of technology as well as its inexpensive cost and accessible functions. In my opinion, this trend would create certain positive sides but some negative effects as well.  
  
On the one hand, it can be obviously seen that technology evolves leading to independence and increasing children's self-studying skills, which are necessary features to improve their mind-skills and also their independent perception. With the development of technological devices, children can easily study with a mass of knowledge and a world of resources updated and added daily and have to pay no fee. They may learn lots of things, not only some limited subjects at school but also life skills, languages, argumentative skills, ...etc, which they are not taught in some places like schools, extra classes. They totally can gain success with their fundamental possibilities as much as other students who enter studying levels at school. For instance, according to the New York Times, the percentage of students who are not going to school but can go into leading companies is the same as those who completed universities or high school degrees in 2017.  
  
On the other hand, there will also be some negative points in self-studying at home for children. Opting to learn from home means students need to considerably choose the correct resources to study among a huge number of resources on the Internet. Choosing the right or wrong ways and sources to learn from may exert directly bad or good effects on your knowledge and result in the preciseness and accuracy of the information you absorb every day.  
  
In conclusion, thanks to technological development, we have a cheaper and more accessible way to learn knowledge, but we also need to take consideration carefully.
The prompt restatement is confusing. It incorrectly implies that children and adults both benefit from attending school online. ' As far as the orginal prompt is concerned, these different age groups represent 2 different categories in relation to tech usage. Children use it for school, adults use it for work. That is the clear separation of topic focus which the writer incorrectly restated. That is a definite task inaccuracy that will reduce the score for the paragraph.  
  
The writer's opinion is incorrect as well. Since this a single opinion essay and not a compare and contrast writing platform, the writer will be seen as not meeting the response and writing format. He does not provide an accurate opinion and discussion presentation since he used an extent / comparative explanation. These are the lasons a passing score will not be applied to this presentation.  
  
Learn the different response format types and how these are applied to specific prompts / writing instructions in order to meet the task and response needs of the essays.
## benefits and drawbacks of learning a foreign language early

  
  
It is believed that Letting children who start studying a foreign language at primary school is a better option than letting those start studying at secondary school. Whether it may have some negative sides, but I think that this trend will offer more benefits than drawbacks.  
  
On the one hand, beginning learning at foreign language at primary school brings more benefits for children. Children in this stage can learn a new language easier in secondary school. In this stage, young children have an ability which helps them be ready for studying the new language, and this ability will be lost while growing up. Furthermore, by getting them to study at this early stage can help them get used to it faster than the one who participated in studying in secondary school. In the future, they will become an expert while others just know about it. Moreover, while studying in primary school, they will have more opportunities, due to the benefits of knowing a foreign language such as having a foreign friend.  
  
Nevertheless, there are a number of drawbacks associated with this opinion. First,Motivation is one of the factors that can affect the ability of studying a new language, so forcing young children that they are not keen on learning a foreign language can make their whole life of studying become less interesting, or even hating learning another language. Second, primary school is the worst environment for learning a language if you choose it in the wrong way. Children who are 6 to 10 years old are not conscious that speaking two languages can play an important role in the future, so they will study it in an ineffective way which will affect their classmates, too.  
  
In conclusion, starting studying in primary school has many more advantages while others studying in secondary school despite certain disadvantages.
The writer shows an unfamiliarity with the writing requirements of the task 2 essay. There are 2 reasons why this would be judged as a failing discussion by the examiner:  
  
1. The writer does not show a clear and supportable opinion in his writer opinion sentence (I think...) He must be precise, convincing and capable of fully choosing one side of the discussion to defend.  
  
2. The discussion paragraphs compare the 2 opinions, which indicates again that the writer does not have any clear opinion regarding the discussion topic, regardless of his seemingly single opinion statement in the first paragraph. The phrase "I think" negated that clarity.  
  
The final reason that this essay cannot get a passing score is the lack of word count in the summary conclusion. It is less than the required 40 words or 3 sentence presentation. It does not offer a proper short form presentation of the previous (but incorrect) discussion presentation.  
  
In order to properly write a response, the writer must always choose one side of the discussion to support in the 2 reasoning paragraphs. This is usually the side that he knows more about so that he can discuss his opinion in a clear and strong manner.
## advice not control

  
  
Some people say that kids should always follow their parent's advice. However, others claim that it is not all right. In my opinion, children should obey their parents' advice when they are young, but they should become independent and have to be responsible for their actions when they get older.  
  
Firstly, parents are fulling mature because they have more experience in life. Moreover, young children are innocent and they do not know the difference between right and wrong, so the parent is the best person to teach them this. For instance, the kid does not know how to behave with other kids and other people. Therefore, parents should be the ones who can talk to them friendly and give some wise advice.  
  
Secondly, when children get older, they should make their own decisions because they have more responsibility and become mature enough. Life is more modern a new generation has to face a variety of challenges and problems with which their parents have never faced before. So the parent's advice sometimes will be wrong. For example, kids have a desire to become a footballer when their parents want them to become a doctor. The children cover with the love of their parents, and the children when growing up need to get out of this area to make their own decisions. If not, they might grow up to be less independent.  
  
After considering all of the reasons mentioned above, I have concluded that parents need to give young children advice on morals and safety, but not control and tell them how to live when they get older.
The restatement is acceptable. The writer's opinion basis is clear in his reasoning summary. What is missing from this paragraph for it to become a high scoring prompt restatement + writer's opinion then? Exactly that, the writer's opinion. He forgot to respond to the "extent" question prior to presenting his reasoning basis. The paragraph is not fully incorrect. It just needs an adjustment to the reasoning response such as: "I disagree with this opinion to the extent that children should only follow their parents advice when they are young. They must..." Always incorporate the key response requirement in the writer's opinion to fully meet the writing response format for that paragraph. It not only helps to create a very clear opinion, it also allows for a stronger thesis statement to follow it.  
  
The concluding paragraph created a prompt deviation since it does not do a proper wrap up of the preceding presentation. Rather, it changed the discussion slant and opened a new avenue of discussion to be presented. The lack of a proper summary presentation and the presentation of a topic that is not connected to the given question will result in either a partially lower passing score or a total failing score, depending upon how the examiner views the writing. Normally, when there is no proper summary conclusion, the essay receives a failing score.
***People are living in a 'throwaway society', using things for a short time and then throwing them away.***  
## What are the causes of this? What problems does it lead to?

  
  
In the contemporary world, humanity dwells in a "throw-away " lifestyle where they have been purchasing a lot and steering things away just after short-term use. This essay makes an effort to reveal the reasons and effects of this phenomenon.  
  
It goes without saying that the development of buy-and-throw culture derives from various contributors. Advertising serves as a fundamental factor behind the emergence of material society. Most of advertisements have appealing contents stimulated people to spend their money on new products that have an array of distinctive features and eye-catching designs. This trigger a consequence that many purchasers waste their financial on pointless purchases such as technology devices and fashions that will likely be alternated by latest versions whereas it still in a good condition. A more significant culprit results in the enhancement income among people, they are more willing to afford for new products, which are more fashionable, more modern and more convenient, rather than keep old ones. It is not to mention the fact that a large quantity of goods is manufactured and sold on the market with a reasonable price, which fosters customers' purchase rates. Unfortunately, this tendency is bound to exert a number of detrimental impacts on individuals and the environment. Those who frequently get on the bandwagon run the risk of going deeply into debt if they continue to buying the newest, most novel products whenever they want.  
  
As an instance of consumers who succumb to the gravity of newly launched, gradually, this habit of overspending sink them into unable to meet their liabilities.  
  
Environmental degradation, which have been severely affected, is another outcome of this phenomena. Every item that is discarded becomes trash, and the majority of them are dumped in landfills, aggravating the world's waste dilemma. Eventually, a fraction of garbage makes its way to the ocean and leads to marine pollution and directly destabilizing marine ecosystems.  
  
In conclusion, the prevalence of adverts as well as the rise in disposable income motivate buyers to shift their needs more frequently. This pattern induce a variety of personal budget problems and exert long-term effects human habitat. But the time has come for us to step forward and think about the future of our planet and take steps to revert the damage.  
  
-Thank you for reading my essay-  
It's my pleasure if you can give me a feedback
This is only a 4 paragraph essay that the writer has opted to try to (unsuccessfully) expand to a 5 paragraph essay. The prompt restatement fails to clearly refer to the original topic in a clear manner. He had difficulties in rewriting the original prompt which shows a lack of proper English language uses and an inability to write coherent English sentences which will lead to problematic scores in the relevant sections.  
  
Even though the essay is quite long, it does not really show that the writer can write coherent and cohesive paragraphs. He does not know how to use related reasoning topics to clearly effect a coherent and cohesive paragraph discussion. Only 2 related reasons and 2 related effects should be present in this analysis paper. The writing is incorrectly developed in some aspects and under developed in other parts, specifically the "problems that it leads to" portion.  
  
Another problem is that the presentation clearly shows a lack of the writer's ability to form English sentences. Every sentence contains improperly used vocabulary and confusing references. His major weakness is an inadequate ability to think and write in English. He has to focus on developing his vocabulary and increase his basic writing exercises to help improve these problem points.  
  
This is not yet the work of an exam taker than can receive a passing mark. If he focuses on improving the aspects that I have mentioned above, he might eventually be able to develop passing, but not high scoring essays in the future. High scoring essays will take time for him to learn to write. It will require increased writing preparation on a long term basis.