dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
***Some parents think that childcare centres provide the best services for children of pre-school age. Other working parents think that family members such as grandparents will be better carers for their kids. Discuss both views and give your opinion.***  
  
Some parents believe that the best treatment for children before they go to school is bringing them to the childcare centre. Others say relatives give a bigger impact on children development. While the child centre has well-skill staff capable of supervising the children, I am more likely to believe that family having close relation is the best way to nurture children as they are more trustful.  
  
Employees of childcare centre have a good skill for surveillance the children. This is because childcare centre has been a lot of experience for nurture children. Besides, workers who had trained got much ability especially helps parents to take care their children. For example, there is a program child daycare in Jakarta, this place designed aims to attractive children for playing in that place and get some knowledge from teacher in there. It is true that some parents believed this place is a suitable spot for children.  
  
On the other hand, relative's bond is better than childcare centre for accompany daily activity their children. The reason for this is that family are low respect to childcare, then decide to nurture by themselves. For example, based on data from the internet showed that 70% children are easy to be contaminated since pervasive disease from other children. It is noticeable that some parents want their children keep fit when childcare so that do not respect again.  
  
In brief, even though childcare has a good track record to take care children with expert ability from their employee, this essay tend to be convinced to guide their children by themselves because the family has a close relationship. It is recommended that governments make a regulation about childcare center and supervise every detail in a month so that childcare will get parent's trustful.
Hi Ryan, I have some suggestion for you  
  
This is because childcare centre has ~~been~~ a lot of experience for nurtur~~e~~ing children.  
  
... designed aims to attract~~ive~~ children for playing (...) from teacher ~~in there~~ .  
  
... than childcare centre ~~for~~to~~accompany~~supervise~~daily activity~~ their children's daily activity .  
  
... is that family ~~are~~has low respect to childcare,...  
  
Best regards
Hi Riandi, question, once you're done with your essay, do you also take time to read it?, see, I ask because, in this particular essay, I find the sentences hard to understand, it's quiet confusing, most of the sentences has a lot of things going on in them and this is not good when it comes to answering the prompt.  
  
To show and elaborate this observation, please find the suggestions below;  
  
- ~~In brief~~Overll , even though childcare  
- ~~has a~~is good ~~track record to take~~in taking care of children, the carer should have the~~with~~ expert ability ~~from their employee~~to be effective in taking care of children , this essay ~~tend to be convinced to~~is a guide ~~their~~for children ~~by themselves because~~and the family ~~has~~to have a close relationship.  
  
... and supervise every detail ~~in a month~~on a regular basis so ~~that childcare will get~~as to build and earn parent's trust~~ful~~ .  
  
There you have it Riandi, I hope the above remarks are helpful to your revision and practice writing more as well as proofread your essay in order for you to see and understand what you wrote, it's always a good thing to be your own personal critique.
**In many countries, children are engaged in some kinds of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong while others consider it as a valuable work experience. Discuss both views and give your opinion!**  
  
Many countries are allowed children to work in particular areas. Some people believe that it is important for them, while others said it is completely wrong. Even though children can get a lot of experiences that it does not have in formal education, I believe that they are not ready to face the working life as a mentality and psychology.  
  
It is believed that many experiences that children can get in their working areas rather than in formal education. The reason for this is that they meet a lot of colleagues who older than them, and they can bring a good influences for children. And also, they can learn about how to operate some equipment in their offices. For example, a current survey by Psychologist University of Melbourne in 2009 found that 75% children are happy to work in offices and also satisfy with their new skills that they got in companies. It is true that more experience would be obtained if children take part-time job, but I think the disadvantages of this statement are more than its advantages.  
  
Aside from what explained above, mental and psychology of children are not suitable in working area. The reason for this is that young people are still unstable in choosing the best occupation for them and they are easy to be distracted by the high pressure from working place. For example, in 2007 some lectures from University of Birmingham found that 68% of children who take a part-time job always have a problem with their personality, making them hard to socialize with people surrounding them. I believed this view is more acceptable as healthy development of children should be prioritized.  
  
To sum up, although working areas are offering children a lot of experiences, I think they do not to accept that because their mental and psychology is not willing the working life. I would agree that they have continued their study first before entering cycle works.
Hi Muhammad, below are my suggestions to enhance the first two paragraphs of your essay;  
  
- Many countries ~~are allowed~~allow children to work in  
- ~~Even though~~Though children can get a lot of  
- experiences,~~that~~~~it does not have~~they will miss a lot in formal education,  
- I believe that they are not mentally and psychologically ready to  
- face the working life ~~as a mentality and psychology~~ .  
  
- in ~~their~~this working areas are beneficial rather than in formal education.  
- The reason for this is that, ( don't forget your punctuation marks )  
- who are older than them~~,~~ and they can bring  
- ~~a~~ good influence~~s for~~to the children.  
- And also, they can learn about how to operate some equipment in their offices. - I believe this sentence is not necessary in this part of the essay.  
  
- For example, a current survey by a Psychologist in the University of Melbourne  
- in 2009 found that 75% of children are happy to  
- and they also ~~satisfy with their~~develop new skills  
- that they ~~got in~~learn companies.  
  
There you have it Muhammad, I hope you are able to get a few advises on how to enhance your essay.Overall, I believe the confusion comes from the fact that, you are trying very hard to put all your ideas in one go, so for future writing reference, make sure that you know how to separate and logically present your ideas.
hello there,  
let me give some corrections for your writing,  
  
1.they can bring*a*good influences  
2 For example, a current survey by *(the)* Psychologist  
3.if children take ~~part-time~~*(use a or the part-time)* job  
4. I believe *(that)* the confusion comes from the fact that  
  
may my correction can help your writing.  
thank you.
QUESTION:  
  
**Global warming is one of the biggest threats humans face in the 21st Century and sea levels are continuing to rise at alarming rates. What problems are associated with this and what are some possible solutions?**  
  
ANSWER :  
  
Today, the most serious issue that people face caused global warming is the increase of sea levels. This would lead to the inundation in coastal area and a solution that can overcome this problem is building a dam.  
  
The main problem caused by global warming is the rise of sea levels leading to the inundation in coastal zone. Flood happens as the land nearby the beach is lower than sea level. This catastrophe will cause epidemic diseases such as diarrhea mainly striking children. Also, such disaster will halt human daily routines, causing the weakening economic rate. In 2009, Korea government said that 69% people chose to move to comfort zone while 31% preferred to stay at home as long as flood drowning their homes.  
  
One of solutions which can be taken to cope with the problem is the construction of sea barrier in coastal area. Even though this solution will cost much money, its positive impact can be felt for long term. During 1990, Rotterdam government established Maeslantkering consisting of two huge gates which can open and close automatically to adjust the sea level.  
  
To sum up, the most common problem that people are deal these days is the increasing sea levels caused by global warming. This will cause flood in coastal zone but building flood barriers nearest coastal area will solve this phenomena. Whereas possible, government should provide expense for this project.
Hi Eva, here's another one from my end;  
  
- ~~Today,~~One the most serious issue  
- that people face ~~caused~~is global warming  
- ~~is~~with the increased~~of~~ sea levels. - This would lead to the inundation in the coastal area  
  
- The main problem is caused by global  
- the inundation ~~in~~of the coastal zone.  
- Also, such disaster will halt ~~human~~peoples daily routines, c  
- In 2009, ~~Korea~~the Korean government said  
- that 69% of people chose to move to a comfort  
- long as the flood ~~drowning~~doesn't drown their ~~homes~~house .  
  
There you have it Eva, I hope the above remarks and corrections are helpful to your revision.
Hello eva,,  
im going to give some correction for your writing,  
  
1.the increase ~~of~~*(in)* sea levels  
2.the inundation in ~~(use article the or a because noun)~~ coastal area and ...  
3.One of ~~solutions~~*(the solutions)* which can be taken to cope  
4. *(use article the "the government)* government should ...  
  
i hope my correction can help your writing.
**Question:  
  
More renewable energy sources are harnessed to generate electricity these days. What are disadvantages and advantages of this trend?**  
  
More electricity produced that using for now it comes from alternative energy resources. It has advantage and disadvantage. While the cost from using new energy source will be higher since it is the newest. Beside that it would be many choice for people in the future to use it will lessen the dependance on fossil.  
  
New energy bring the positive way for using but the cost will be more expensive. It is because the equipment and location is uncommon. For instance, geothermal energy in near the mountain is need much money to drill in the location and expertise to do the job because too many risk for finishing. In addition maintain the energy source yet need special equipment that the usage to distribute the energy around the area. It need investation for long term period. It is true that people should earn much money to use the energy.  
  
In the future, people can use new energy and not depend on the fossil energy. It means they would reduce the number of effect from fossil energy such as gas emmitions. For example, survey from Ministry of Mineral and Energy Resources state that 50% of using the Geothermal energy would be decreased the number of pollutions in air. People are more likely to choose the renewable energy since it has many benefit for them.  
  
To conclude, the renewable energy give the positive impact but the cost for using it is more expensive than before. However people have many option for energy using in the future.
Hi Andika, at a glance, I immediately notice the lack of linking verbs that should and is a valuable component of a sentence. Lacking such link in your sentence would only mean that your sentence will miss an essential factor in showcasing such idea and in ensuring that your readers are able to perfectly comprehend with your article or writing project.  
  
Having said that, below are my thoughts to enhance your essay;  
  
- More electricity are produced ~~that~~ using  
- ~~for now it comes from~~ alternative energy ~~re~~ sources.  
- It has an advantage and disadvantages .  
- While the cost ~~from~~of using new energy  
- source ~~will be~~is higher,~~since it is the newest. Beside that~~ it would be ~~many~~the choice for  
- people to use in the future ~~to use~~as it  
- will lessen ~~the~~our dependance on fossil.  
  
- New energy bring ~~the~~a positive way ~~for~~of using ~~but the cost will be more expensive~~natural resources but the cost will be more expensive .  
  
There you have it Andika, I hope the above remarks and insights are helpful to your revision and for future writing reference, make sure not to forget the minor verbs and word format in your sentences.
hello MR dika..  
let me give some correction for your writing  
i hope my correction can help your writing  
  
1. New energy bring*( brings)*  
2. It is becausethe equipment and location is uncommon*(equipment and location are uncommon)*  
3. geothermal energy in near the mountain is need much money to drill *( need much money to drill)*  
4.It means *( that)* they would (...) such as gas emmitions*(emission)*  
  
may my corrections are useful for your writing..  
i do apologize if i have make mistake in my correction..  
thank you...
Many factories and businesses are encouraged by governments to relocate their buildings in rural areas. Even though, this policy will reduce cost of production, its demerit of polluting environment in the suburban are far outweigh any benefits.  
  
It is generally believed that the relocation of business and industrial center in the outskirt would make the cost production more affordable. This authority will only reduce a few negative effects for urban populations. Furthermore, the factories and business can increase the amount of products suited to lower cost of production but it will add transportation fee. For instance, the distance from suburb to urban areas will have additional cost for distribution products. I firmly claim that this policy can not settle the prior issue as the urban citizens still run into climate change from vehicle emission.  
  
Apart from the aforementioned discussion, when the industry and business are moved to the suburb, environmental problem would be faced by people living there. Besides that, governments in several countries have to consider and survey the factory zone before this authority is issued as it will change land farm infrastructure. For example, agriculture products decreasing, inhabitants lose their primary job since the areas are replaced by factories and businesses also they do not have qualification to work in these workplaces. I fully believe even though there are best offer for training and high salary from both businesses but it is not easy to change their mindset as they are familiar to work in quiet and clean land farming.  
  
To sum up, the government regulations might less production budget of industries if they move their factories place to countryside but it might also damage the land farming areas. Where possible, the government has to issue rules that take a solution having a long-term benefit.
hai ms eve  
here's my suggestions for you  
hope it works  
  
**firstly, it is important to include the question**  
  
... encouraged by government~~s~~ to relocate their ...  
... policy will reduce the cost of production, its demerit of the polluting environment ...  
  
... though there are the best (superlative ) offer for training (...) businesses, ~~but~~(do not use 'but' because in the beginning you are using 'even though') it is not easy to change ...  
  
... if they move their factories place to the countryside, (before but using comma) but it might also damage the land farming areas.  
  
thanks
Hi Eve, I have some advice for you  
  
... business can increase the ~~amount~~number of products suited (...) but it will add more transportation fee.  
  
I firmly claim that this policy ~~can not~~cannot settle the prior issue ...  
  
For example, agriculture products decreas~~ing~~ed , inhabitants lose their ...  
I fully believe that even though there (...) from both businesses**,** but it is not ...  
  
To sum up, ~~the~~this government regulations might lessen production budget of ...  
  
Best regards
Tourism is very important with many countries. It brings a lot of money for these countries, but is can also cause problem.  
  
Tourists believe that travel wonderful places of a country can help their life better. The culture, landscapes are the tourism destination that possible to improve more income of a country. With the growing of tourists, the government also has build public and health facilities; hospitals, roads and highways to bring best things.  
  
However, in reality, tourism contribute one of the huge nature problems of a country. One of the worst effects tourism is the presence of large crowds of people in streets and areas of beauty, so local people can find it difficult to do things they want to do.  
  
In addition, to serve more and more travelers, the tourism industry has to build more hotels, restaurants, which results in reducing natural area and deforestation. Another disadvantage of tourism is that tourists do not usually worry about environment issues. However, these problems can be very worrying for people who live in the area all the time.  
  
Overall, I belive tourism has many benefits for everyone. However, If people contribute to protect natural environment and reduce negative impacts, it is very important more.
Hi Dau, WELCOME to the Forum, I hope you find this website helpful.  
Now, as you said in your essay, indeed, tourism is a very profitable addition to a country and it offers great opportunities for employment, however, just like any other industry, there are drawbacks in this industry too.  
  
Anyhow, I have a few suggestions to enhance your essay.  
  
- Tourism is very important ~~with~~to many countries.  
- It brings a lot of money ~~for these countries, but~~however, it~~is~~ can also cause problem.  
- Tourists believe that travelling to wonderful places  
- ~~of a country~~ can help their life better.  
- The culture, landscapes are ~~the~~ tourism destination  
- that is possible to improve more  
- income ~~of a~~for the country.  
- With the growing number of tourists,  
- the government also has build public ~~and~~ health facilities;  
- huge ~~nature~~ problems ~~of a~~in the country.  
- One of the worst effects of tourism is the presence  
- ~~so~~therefore, local people can find ...  
  
There you have it Dau, I hope the above remarks are helpful to your revision.
Hello Nguyen Anh, this is some correction from me and feel free to correct me too!  
  
Tourism is very important ~~with~~for many countries.  
  
Even though It brings a lot of money for these countries, ~~but is can~~It also causesa problem.  
  
Tourists believe that travelingto wonderful places of ...  
  
.....the government also has ~~build~~built public and health facilities; ~~hospitals,~~ roads and highways ...  
  
....so local people can find ~~it~~ difficulties to do the things that they want to do.
**Question :****In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong while others consider it as valuable work experience. Discuss both views and give your opinion**  
  
**Answer:**  
Children are permitted to have job in several countries while they are at school. Some people argue it is fully not approved, whereas others believe it is more beneficial for children. Even though children's mental age is not ready to be engaged in paid work, I am more likely to support that they could work while their studying as long as they can balance between work and study to get benefit for their future job  
  
It is often said that some citizens argue it may be serious issue for children to be an employee in paid job due to their mental age. The reason for this is that they might learn and focus on getting certificate showing their appropriate skills in formal school. For instance, Indonesian government issued regulation requiring employees being upper 18-year-old and finishing their high school education. I absolutely claim this opinion as children definitely have a chance to get engaged in this paid work since they are capable and have a will to work while they are studying  
  
However, others regard that children can develop their skills to have job while they are registered as students at school. Today there are various types of paid work which allow children to channel their talents such as being a freelance writer or a tour guide, resulting in the development of skills required for their life. Obviously worker children can compromise with time between working and studying which is proved with their academy achievement higher than children who are not working. I totally believe with those who assume that children can gain new challenge in working since this can help them to be more independent and responsible for their future life  
  
In the final analysis, it has some benefits for teenager to have job while they attend a school as far as they can organize their responsibility as a student. It will help them to get experience for the next future job. Whereas possible, Government and workplaces have to facilitate children who want to work before attend university.
**Question :  
  
Some people think that online computer game is useful for children, while others claim is bad. What are advantages and disadvantages of online computer game for children?**  
  
Online games become the most attractive game for children. Some say that the effect can be worst while others argue against such an idea. While online games is capable of making children more self-centered, this also can help them to refresh their mind after having full activities.  
  
Children who always play online games tend to break away from their society. They just focus for playing the games and not caring about the environment. It means they get negative effect of this such as being addicted for the games. For instance, the child of protection board recently stated that 75% of children spending their time on playing game, are more likely to dissociate their self from community. It is acceptable that playing games make the children prefer to do this activity.  
  
On the other hand, online games can reduce the number of stress suffered by children after studying. In online games provided many interesting features inside it. The reason for this is that when playing games children's brain works work less hard. For instance, survey from University of Houston state the 60% children playing online games are more productive than the others. Therefore, it is true that playing games can help children release their stress as there are many information such as new languages and new information about other countries.  
  
All in all, online games is one of consequence which can be suffered for children is antisocial as they often play the game. However, playing online games make the children feel better after have a full daily activity in school.