dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
Hello Asmara!  
Allow me to give you some suggestion!  
  
\*The chart presents a research which is resulted  
\*executives have normal ~~on their~~ sleep schedule, (...) \*and doctors have interrupted in their sleep hours .  
\*spend 6 hours for sleeping only 3 hours in ...  
\*... the early morning, by 3 a.m.  
  
Thank you :)  
Break a leg!
HELLO, here my suggestion for you :)  
The chart presents a research [that was ] resulted by a ...  
... students and business~~es~~ executives have sleept ~~time~~ continuously from (...) executives have ~~to get~~ [gotten ] up two hours ...  
... spend their time ~~only~~ 6 hours  
  
you may vary your sentences, so it is not repetitive in the same way.  
  
GLUCK:D
## **WRITING TASK 1 - WORLD POPULATION GROWTH**

  
  
The graphs compare the data about global population progress and the proportion of urban areas in several world zones. Overall, it is noticeably that global inhabitant proportion will increase gradually and proportionate to the total people who lives in expanding areas, while the sum people of developed zones will remain steady.  
  
Initially, the worldwide inhabitant number was on 1000 millions of people. Afterwards, there was no significantly inreasing until 1920. The rising number recently appear from 1940, and keep increase enormously. The proportion of population will be projected hit the peak in 2040 at approximately 8000 millions of people. While, in the following years, the global inhabitant number will be experienced a downward trend to 6000 millions of people.  
  
Compared to the second data, the number of people in expanding zones also experienced an upward trend and will be predicted to keep increase up to 2040. While the highest proportion predicted will be reached in 2040 at about 3000 millions of people. By contrast, the developing areas showed a steadily number and predicted will stay the same until 2040.
Hi, ainunazwaria, I hope I can help you to write an essay  
  
1. ... inhabitant proportion ~~will~~would increase gradually ...  
Because it is happen in the past, hence 'will' should be replaced by would  
  
2. ... people of developed zones ~~will~~would remain steady ...  
Same as before, it is still in the same part, so change will ---> would  
  
3. There is a spelling error,  
inreasing ---> increasing  
  
Thank you
**Some people say that in the modern world it is very difficult for people to have a healthy lifestyle. Others, however, say that it is easy for people to be healthy and fit if they want to be.**  
  
Nowadays, people live in modern era where they just have a little time for relax after doing many activities in one day. It makes people is very demanding to keep their body from diseases. But some people argue that very cushy to control their body if they want hard-working to do it. Personally, I believe to have a nutritious in way of life is very effortless especially for society reside in industrial cities.  
  
Center cities' people have full activities. It makes them wipe with their soundness. For instance, people who work in big company. They must go to office early morning to avoid crowded roads and back after evening because many activities must finished. In fact, they always eat junk food and no time to relax their main because in the evening they must finished assignment for tomorrow. As a result, they challenging to live nourishing every day.  
  
Besides that, some people argue that they can manage time to do healthy actions to keep their body from illness. For instance, they eat vegetable and fruit and do some sports activities such as running in the weekend, yoga for the women or visit some places to holiday after working in the weekday. As a results, they live in healthy event though they have many duties.  
  
All in all, just excuse if society argue that they do not have much time to consume health food or no time to do some sport activities. In my opinion, with they buy healthy food in shops and they walking instead use their car to go around their home, it can help them to save in live.
... they just have a ~~little~~**LIMITED** time for ~~relax~~**RELAXING BODY AND REFRESHING BRAIN** after doing many activities ~~in one~~**WITHIN A** day.  
  
It ~~makes people is very demanding~~**DEMANDS PEOPLE** to keep their ...  
~~But~~**ON THE OTHER HAND** some people argue that ...  
  
**TO BEGIN, IT CAN BE SEEN FROM THE FACT DEALING WITH**~~Center cities' people~~**THE PEOPLE WHO ARE LIVING IN CENTRAL CITY WHO** have full activities.  
  
As a result, they **ARE**challenging to live ...
**The chart below gives information about the level of education of Bulgarian people who wanted to go and live in another country in 2002, 2006, and 2008.**  
  
The bar chart provides information about Bulgarians who have different background education and want to stay abroad in 2002, 2006, and 2008. Overall, it can be seen that secondary education was the highest over a six-year period and in 2002 and 2006, higher education and lower education have almost the same number.  
  
Secondary education always dominated than other educations in 2002, 2006, and 2008 and reached a peak at 65 percent in 2002. The lowest percent of secondary school was 59 percent, but it was still higher than other educations.  
  
In 2008, higher education got the smallest at 9 percent. After that, between 2002 and 2006, both higher education and primary and lower education had a gradual increase. And in 2008, the number of primary and lower educations hit a high point at 32 percent and it was the highest level from primary and lower education. Besides that, 2008 saw the number of higher education decreased sharply at 9 percent.
... period and in 2002 and 2006, **WHILE** higher education and lower education ~~have~~**WERE** almost **AT** the same number.  
  
**TO BEGIN,** secondary education always dominated than other ~~educations~~**LEVELS OF SCHOOL** in 2002, 2006,...  
... still higher than other ~~educations~~**GRADES**.  
  
... education and primary and lower ~~education~~**SCHOOLS** had a gradual increase. ~~And~~**Nest,** in 2008, the number of ...  
  
It to many words repetition (especially "education). You can use other words that have the same meanings such as school, grades, level, or degree
***It is pointless making children who lack artistic talent learn painting and drawing in Art classes at school. Instead, they should concentrate on other creative and practical subjects which they may have more aptitude. To what extent do you agree or disagree?***  
  
Nowadays, it is commonly found that there are many schools offering art subjects particularly painting and drawing. However, teaching some art subjects which students do not have any skill about it will completely be useless. Thus, I genuinely believe that teaching children creative and practical subjects will be far worthy since this kinds of matters facilitate students to improve their special skills and can directly be applied after graduation as well.  
  
It is often said that instead of forcing students to learn some materials that they have no idea about, having creative and practical subjects in school is more essential as it does help students to develop their given abilities. The reason for it is because the aptitude is already owned by students school, thus school facilitate them to improve what has already existed. Besides, it will be easier for students to comprehend the subjects as they must have huge interest toward the field. Busan International School who already applied this method stated that even though a few students still involve hard-work in class, most of them finally mastered subjects since the materials are easy and loved by students. Hence, creative and practical subjects are worth to develop students' abilities.  
  
It goes without saying that having practical subjects demand students to directly utilize what they have studied and ease them to apply for a job. They must have been familiar with any cases related to the subject because they are habituated to do so within ages. Besides, students will become an expert through the field doubt as being trained for a long time makes their skills be more perfect. This is supported by a conducted research held by Sony Firm, the biggest company who control all the agency corporations in Seoul, South Korea, found 67% of agencies joined Sony Firm has high quality workers as they are graduated from vocational schools. Thus, it is true that teaching children some practical subjects are more useful and needed by students in the future.  
  
In conclusion, in order to offer a high quality people for the world without facing significant obstacles, having practical and creative subject in school is an effectively method through this case. I strongly suggest this approach to the all schools, particularly the one who is willing to have high prestige.
There are many arguments mentioned that school is suitable spot for pupils to study about how to adapt with social society. In contrast, some people said that family will bring more effect if they directly teaching their own-children to be great in surroundings. In my opinion, spouses is the best people who can teach their own-child intensively  
  
Nowadays, schools tend to be the center of educations. Many parents already busy with their activities, so they choose the best school for educating their children both intellectual and social aspects. So, in this case, teachers bring the main role to create student's perspective, about how interact with people. In fact, it is extremely not effective, because there are too many children in the school, and actually teachers only develop their intellectual quotient. Furthermore, students cannot learn a lot about the way to socialize with other people from their teachers.  
  
As a result of that, it is undoubtedfully that parents is the best people who know the real characters and potential of their own children. First, it's because father and mother have an amazing bounding with their pupils since pregnant. So, they exactly know what is the real characteristic of their child, such as introvert, extrovert, and others. Every character have not same way of interact with another. So, the parents know the best way to bring up their child. Second, it is caused by time that spent by parents with children longer than in school. They meet in the morning, when breakfast in afternoon when play even in the night when sleep together. So, husband and wife have the stronger change to build socialization ability and skills of their children.  
  
All in all, family is the most convenient place for building emotional sides of children such as how to become good member in social life. So, I suggest that parents should keep in touch every time and more often with their children.
For the first, please you always attach the question so that others can easily give valuable feedback of your essay according to the task given.  
  
**INTRODUCTION**  
*This is quite simple and effective as you just paraphrased the question the wrote down your opinion in order to address the task responses. However, pay attention in your sentence since there is a few errors there.*  
  
..... people said that family will bring more effect if they**[they refer to family??]** directly teaching their *own-children* to be great in surroundings. In my opinion, spouses is the best people who can teach *their own-child* intensively *[teach what?]*  
  
**BODY PARAGRAPH**  
BODY 1: *you were well-developed your idea here and firmly mentioned that teachers are not the ones who suppose to teach children about social aspects. However, there are still many spaces for improvement. you may need to explain more why school is not the right one, the relevance between crowded class with ineffective social aspect leaning and why school assess more about academic values and its implication on student social knowledge. Another thing that i need to remind you is that you need to concern on accuracy while writing. pay attention on grammatical rules and punctuation. Also, a proper way to use cohesive device to get the good flow of writing without mechanically or over-use cohesive devices.*  
  
BODY 2:  
  
it is undoubtedfully that parents is the best people who know the real characters and potential of their own children.  
**explain more the relevance of the real characters and potential of children with the social learning they should get from parents as their order to become a good member of society.**  
  
**CONCLUSION**  
*as you did not mention your personal view in body paragraph, you should write it down here rather than only wrote ''I'' in your suggestion.*
The bar chart provides data about educational background of Bulgarian Inhabitants who wanted to stay in abroad in 2002, 2006, and 2008. Overall, most of people had secondary education, and the percentage are almost tripled in 2002 and 2006 compared with others. In addition, while higher education had unstable trend, primary and lower had positive change each year.  
  
It is clear that middle education had the highest number in 2002, 2006, 2008 at 65 percent, 61 percent, and 59% respectively. It's also only had a slight decrease each year, four percent fall in 2006, and downward by two percent in 2008.  
  
Besides, the number of higher education had fluctuate trend because after went up from 17 percent in 2002 to 20 percent in 2006, it decreased by more than half into 9 percent. In contrast, elementary education rose from year to year from a very little upward in 2006, just one percent higher than before to 32 percent in 2008.  
  
*
Hi Faiz.  
These are my few corrections for your writing.  
Please, review them.  
  
... who wanted to stay ~~in~~ abroad in 2002, ...  
Overall, **most of people had secondary education**(It's not clear) IT IS IMPORTANT TO NOTE CITIZENS GRADUATING FORM THE SECOND SCHOOL DOMINATED IN THE PERCENTAGE OF PEOPLE GOING ABROAD, and the percentage are **almost tripled**(Avoid the detailed information in the overview) in 2002 and 2006 ...  
  
... higher education had AN unstable trend, ...  
  
... middle education had BY FAR the highest number in ...  
**It's**(Never ever ever make contraction in the formal writing) also only had a slight decrease (...) downward by two percent in 2008. (You still describe safely. You have to remember that your job in the writing task 1 is to compare the figures, not describe separately)  
  
~~Besides~~ ON THE OTHER HAND, **the number of higher education** (Not the school, but people/ citizens. Please, make you sure that what you write is what you mind) THE PERCENTAGE OF STUDENTS WHO FINISHED THE THE HIGHER SCHOOL AND WANTED CONTINUING THEIR ACTIVITY IN ANOTHER COUNTRY had fluctuate trend because (...) 20 percent in 2006~~,~~ AND ~~it~~ decreased by more than half ~~in~~ to 9 percent IN THE LAST TIMELINE. In contrast, THE FIGURE OF THE elementary education rose ...
**Some people say that in the modern world it is difficult for people to have a healthy lifestyle. Others, however, say that it is easy for people to be healthy and fit if they want to be.  
  
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.**  
  
In this modern era, everything has changed because people have to do something quickly and ignore their healthy life. Some people think that it can be solved by themselves if they have willingness. However, in my opinion, it depends on how people do an action about their problem and it can be hard or simple to face a challenge in life.  
  
Nowdays, being healthy is something valuable because people argue that they are always sick because of their routinity. One of the problem to be healthy is that people usually buy food wherever they want especially on the street shop. I imagine this is appear due to people do not want have enough time to buy fresh food while they are working. As a result, they will get sick because of dirty food that consist of bacteri. Also, it can make bad effect for long time if they do not have clear mind to get healthy food. However, this is the factor of modern era because people do not make an attention to their healthy life style.  
  
In the other hand, if people want to have a change, I'm sure that they can do it. To have healthy food, inhabitants can prepare and bring their healthy food to their office. Also, they can do a diet for carbo as well to keep their body fit. The consequences is people can be healthy and enjoy their life just as simple as if they want to move and have a spirit to be better than before.  
  
All in all, difficulties are coming from people's mind and nothing difficult to be healthy if they want. I suggest that do not think hard to get your body fit. People only need to make a plan for their activity and do it for themselves and for lovely person in their life.
One of the problems to be healthy is that people  
I ~~imagine this is appear~~ think it because ~~due to~~ people do not want to have enough time  
... of dirty food that consists of bacteria  
it can make a bad effect for a long time  
~~In~~ On the other hand  
... do a diet for carbon as well to...  
--------  
Hi, I'd like to recommend you use an app called "1checker" to revise some basic grammar mistakes.  
Some of your sentences are little weird to me. So read more articles from native speakers would help.
***The graphs below provide information on global population figures and figures for urban populations in different world regions.***  
  
The breakdown of information reveals the figure in global habitant growth between 1800 until 2100 and forecast of urban resident in the next 25 years measured by millions. Overall, it can be seen that the inhabitant in all over the world were have a dramatic alteration during 250-year period and affected to the municipal habitant of world at developing regions in 25 years later that will be tremendously rise.  
  
To begin, world occupant has been growing that stood from 1000 million in early period. It was a slowly increase until 1960; in contrast, in the next 55-year period, there was a rapid rise until this day at 7000 million. Furthermore, it will be continuously arise until reach a peak at 8000 million people in 2040. Surprisingly, the prediction shows that will be significantly drop into 6250 million in the end of period.  
  
On the other hand, the forecast of urban population in 25 years later will be slightly increased every five years in developing regions. It will be reach a peak at 4000 million in 2040 while developing regions will have not any alteration at all and stable at 1250 million people.  
  
**(192 words)**  
  
*
Hello! I will give you some opinions about your essay.  
  
(1) The *breakdown* of information (...) in global **in**habitant**s** growth between 1800 ~~until~~**and** 2100  
(2) and **hte** forecast of (...) next 25 years**,** measured by millions.  
(3) ... that the **number of** inhabitant in all over the world ~~were have~~**has** a dramatic ...  
(4) and **it was** affected to the municipal **in**habitant of **the** world at ...  
(5) To begin, world occupant**s**~~has~~**have** been growing (...) in early period **to 1960**.  
(6) It was a slow~~ly~~ increase until 1960;  
(7) ... was a rapid rise until ~~this day~~**the recent** at 7000 million.  
(8) Furthermore, it will ~~be~~ continuously arise ...  
(9) ... shows that will ~~be~~~~significantly~~ drop **significantly**~~into~~**to** 6250 million in the ...
IELTS WRITING TASK 2 WORKBOOK BAND 5.5 - 6.5 UNIT 2 PAGE 16  
  
Nowadays, there are many kinds of food that spread in our country from local until international cuisine. This phenomenon brings both pros and cons especially in health aspect. While some argue that today it is not easy to life healthier, other say that is not difficult for keeping our body healthy. In my opinion, it's tend to be difficult today because of many types of food that offered and others factors.  
  
It is not wrong if some have argument that modern life make all aspect become easy including keeping health. The development of knowledge make all aspect improve, including health. Today we can find just on one click about information of health. For instance, we can look for vegetarian menu, diet tips and tricks, fitness facilities, aerobic clubs, and others. Furthermore, many hospitals, doctors, health experts, and other kinds of facilities are like to be placed everywhere, so it can make us easy to maintain our body.  
  
However, in my view, facilities and other external factor are not useful if people don't have their self-awareness. First of all, today there are many kinds of foods that contain harmful ingredients such as MSG, color substance, natrium benzoate, and others man-made things that created from non-natural substance. Some people also like to consume meat that contain high fat, cholesterol, it is because the tasteful taste of food. Moreover, some food that sell near the street in some food stalls usually not hygiene, but people still buy it because delicious and cheap. Secondly, as a result of fossil fuels combustion, it produces high pollution rate that very dangerous for our respiration system and people often lazy to use nose and mouth cover to protect their body. Third, because of the rapid improvement of technology such as computers and mobile phone, it brings radiation that create negative effect of our brain, even make people lazy to do physical activities, because they can refresh their mind only with their eyes and hand via mobile. It is different form people in the past that like to do sport activities for refreshing their mind.  
  
In conclusion, even though a lot of health facilities and information are easy to access, its tend to be difficult to be healthy and fit because the habit come from their self-awareness.
Hello faiz! I will give you some opinions about your essay.  
  
(1) While some **people or others** argue that ~~today~~**nowadays** it is not easy to life healthier **than before**...  
(2) In my opinion, ~~it's~~**it is** tend to be difficult today ...  
(3) It is not wrong if some **people** have **an** argument that modern ...  
(3) The development of knowledge make all aspect improve, including health. --> repetitive  
(4) For instance, we can look for **many information, such as** vegetarian menu,...  
(5)... not useful if people ~~don't~~**do not** have their self-awareness.  
(6) ... many kinds of food~~s~~ --> food is an uncountable noun  
(7) it is because the tasteful taste of food. --> it is because the food is really tasteful  
(8) Moreover, some food that sell near the street [....] with their eyes and hand via mobile. --> You use multiple idea but have no coherence in each idea. I suggest to use one idea paragraph and explain about the reason, the example and the result.