dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
This is my practice for the IELTS Writing Task 2  
  
***Nowadays, many university students choose to study overseas for part or all of their courses.  
Some people say this should be encouraged because it is beneficial for students and the universities they attend.  
## Do you agree or disagree with this view?***  
  
Answer:  
  
It is common for university students who desire different learning experiences to study abroad, and the advantages it brought are highly valued by some. I completely agree with the opinion that overseas education should be promoted from the perspectives of students and universities.  
  
Students who study abroad for a semester or a few years can be benefited in several different ways. For those who spend a semester abroad, they can have access to academic resources that couldn't be obtained at their home university. For example, architecture students who are interested in flood risk adaptation may join a laboratory or take courses at a university in the Netherlands, where the most innovative technologies and research related to this topic come from. Furthermore, studying at a foreign university means meeting classmates from diverse cultural backgrounds. Students could enhance their ability of cross-cultural communication by exchanging opinions and discussing in class. Lastly, if students are dedicated to obtaining a foreign degree by spending 4 years in another country, for instance, they will not only grow intellectually. They may leave their comfort zone and learn how to settle down in a totally new environment, and therefore gain experience in tackling numerous obstacles in life independently.  
  
When universities are welcoming students from a variety of countries, they can also take advantage in two aspects. Firstly, it is crucial for the university to pursue cultural diversity nowadays in the context of globalization. Receiving foreign students could lead to a more international academic environment that fosters new ideas, while local students mingle with people and knowledge from all over the world. Secondly, universities can improve the quality of students by accommodating talented students from other countries. If there are more motivated and intelligent foreign students, it thus becomes a valuable chance for the university to advertise itself on the global education stage.  
  
In conclusion, it is certain that an international academic environment benefits both the students and schools for learning and generating knowledge if overseas education is encouraged.
Do not alter the orginal discussion foundation by presenting your opinion in the first paragraph that will make it fail the prompt restatement requirements. The paragraph is expected to state the given discussion points using as close a synonym as possible to represent the original idea. You did not actually do that in the first half of the paragraph. By immediately discussing your opinion, the examiner will have to partially lower the score for that section. Something that will not be good when the sectional scores are added up.  
  
The writer's opinion will also get a lower score because of the incorrect presentation format. There are times when an emotional and measured response in needed, as in the case of an extent question. This is just a simple discussion format so the examiner will not appreciate the exaggerated response. Follow the instructions without alterations. Any changes you make, no matter how simple means lower scores for you.  
  
You did a good job in the discussion part though. Strong reasons were convincingly explained and defended. The writing was well connected in the paragraphs. In fact, the explanations came across as too long for the ceriling requirements. If the examiner overlooks that, then you did a good job in the explanatory portion.  
  
That said, the essay is over written. 333 words may not be completed within 40 minutes. Based on your writing sample, I know you can write a better version. One even more developed within 275-300 words which normally result in a higher overall test score.
## the ages of the populations of oman and spain

  
  
The given circle charts give information about population age ratios in 2005 and predictions for 2055 in two different countries namely Oman and Spain.  
Overall, the initial impression is that both surveyed countries recorded the top proportion of the aging population in 2005, and a similar pattern is projected for the future in 2055. Moreover, while the rate of people who belong to the working age bracket predicted tends to upswing the opposite was true for children under working age.  
  
In 2005, Oman witnessed parity in the percentage of people of retirement age and children under working age at 48%. Meanwhile, owning the last place is the rate of Omanis of working age with only 4%. At the same time, the proportion of those who were in their 60s or older also took up the overwhelming majority of Spain's population. This nation's children under minors and those aged 15 to 59 accounted for the lower share of 14% and just under the quarter respectively.  
  
Predictive data accurately half a century later revealed a downswing trend in the under-14s and a growth in the working-age population. More specifically, the decline in the underage group in Oman is more than one in ten, the figure for Spain is much smaller, just 2%.In opposition, the share of the age bracket between 15 and 59 in both countries tends to rise with a slight increase of 2% in Oman and a dramatic growth at nearly one-fifth in Spain. Concurrently, the rate of older in Oman is predicted to increase by just under a tenth to 57% during the figure rapidly decreases by about one-sixth in Spain. However, that is still the largest proportion compared to the other two age bracket.  
  
*   
*topic*
*   
*pie chart*
Kindly use accurate terminology when describing the provided image. While circle charts are an acceptable alternative descriptor, it is not a proper academic reference. While it is often advised that synonyms be used, restating the original image reference will be better accepted and scored.  
  
It is also imperative that long sentences containing 2 subject ideas be avoided. Run on sentences such as the first one in this presentation will result in reduced GRA scores. More information such as the measurement type is also needed in the summary overview paragraph.  
  
Word count is also a problem in this essay. 293 words can only be written using a 40 minute time allowance. Since this task only has a 20 minute allotment, it will be best to write only 175-200 words. Remember not to use the essay as a vocabulary exercise because that is how these essays fail. Incorrect word usage and overly long sentences will produce more scoring errors. That is exactly the reason why this essay would get a failing score had this been a real test. The advanced vocabulary used does not match the actual vocabulary level or range of the writer. The essay is confusing to read due to the word usage mistakes. Failing scores will be given in all scoring considerations. From the TA to the GRA presentation, the writer did not do a good job.  
  
Consider at least reading task essay examples at this forum to get a better idea as to how to write task 1 essays. That way you improve your writing abilities and learn from the mistakes made by other exam takers who participated in this forum.
## **The graph below shows the percentage of population in cities since 1970s with projection to 2030.**

  
  
The given line chart compares the proportion of people living in cities in 4 countries, namely USA, Korea, China and India, from 1970 to the prediction in 2030.  
  
Overall, the city population in all nations was on an increase and continuously was predicted to grow up till the end of the period. It also can be seen that the USA and Korea had a greater percentage of city residents compared to China and India.  
  
In 1970, the figure for cities population rate in the USA and Korea was 70% and 40% respectively, which was much higher than that of China and India with the same rate at 20%. After 20 years, the USA, Korea and India saw an increase in the percentage of people who live in cities to over 80%, over 70% and 30% respectively, while China still remained at 20%.  
  
In the rest of this period, the percentage of Koreans living in cities dramatically rose to nearly 90% in 2020 and was predicted to be the same as that of Americans in 2030. The cities population ratio in China also experienced a significant increase to nearly 70% in 2030, while that in India just slightly rose and was a half of China at nearly 40%.
A clear summary overview will depend upon the number of sentences used to enumerate the graph information. That means the use of individual sentences to indicate each bit of information will score much better in terms of C+C and GRA than a single sentence composed of 3 information presentations. Rather than scoring up, it will result in a score down due to run-on sentence structuring and lack of clear idea presentation.  
  
Incorrect tense usage will also prove to be a score reducing factor in the GRA and C+C section since the end depiction for the trending presentation depends on a future rather than past projection. The final measurement basis is in 2030. It should use a future year prediction format.  
  
The consistent use of run - on sentences, 2 sentences per paragraph, and limited use of punctuation marks will further reduce the scores in each related section. A proper paragraph has 3-5 sentences present within it.  
  
While the writer did his best to compare the information, this was not done to the extent that actual analytical comparisons were done. He only repeated information as seen without analysis.  
  
I am afraid this is a poorly developed essay that might not receive a passing score.
**"was on an increase and continuously was predicted to grow"** in the second paragraph should be rewritten short and simple. It also had the redundancy fault while having the same meaning word: increase and grow up in the same sentences. It could be rewrite as "Overall, the city population globally was predicted to increase continuously till the end of the period". By reducing the flappy words, your C+C will more direct.  
  
In the third paragraph, the writer just mention the statistics without any analysis. Besides, the writer should enlarge the number of sentence in each paragraph to 3 or 4 sentences to fulfill the mark cretiria of the examiner.
Based on the extensive writing done in this essay, I can only assume that the writer is doing self- study for this test. That is the only acceptable explanation as to why be would over-write, over-analyze, and lack in proper response formatting in consideration of the provided prompt. While the writer maybe a typist who can complete over 500 words in 40 minutes, the purpose of this test is to prove the ability to discuss a given debate topic as if he were writing a time limited exam in class. The essay must be concise and more properly focused on a quick explanation of 5 sentences within a paragraph. While there is no maximum word count, 250-300 words has been found to bethe most highly scored word count overall.  
  
The writer did not provide a proper emotional or measured response to the question. Rather than providing the expected 3 sentence response, he immediately began the discussion. Such a deviation results in an automatic failing score. The 3 sentence requirement should indicate:  
  
1. A simple sentence topic restatement.  
2. A brief measured response.  
3. The summarized reasoning topics/ thesis statement.  
  
The vocabulary used tends to be advanced in usage, but not easily understandable in everyday use. The vocabulary need not be too advanced as such words do not normally suit the discussion or are aused outof content with regards to word meaning or sentence/ paragraph meaning. So rather than helping the score, it proves to be unhelpful instead. That can be avoided if the writer focuses on conciseness rather than only a high sectional score.  
  
These are but the tip of the problem with the writing presentation. I highly suggest the student reviews the related task essays before proceeding to create more practice essays. The lessons and observations provided in those essays will be most helpful to him as a beginner.
***Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the last of a particular species of plants and animals.  
Others say that there are more important environmental problems.***  
## Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

  
  
This is my essay:  
  
It is believed by some that the primary environmental issue faced by humans is the last of specific species of plants and animals, while others believe that there are graver environmental issues. While the disappearance of certain species can result in a rise in certain illnesses, there are more crucial environmental issues faced by humans, such as air pollution.  
  
On the one hand, the disappearance of some species can lead to widespread diseases caused by some animals. This is because those species feed upon certain animals and plants that are dangerous to people. Their disappearance will exponentially increase the population of these animals and the diseases they transmit. For example, in Italy, they conducted an experiment in which they got rid of cats in one of their cities. This led to an overpopulation of rats throughout that city and led to a spike in rat-borne illnesses. However, I disagree that this is the biggest environmental threat because there are technological remedies that can address this issue.  
  
On the other hand, it is thought that air pollution is the gravest issue that humans have to deal with. This is because there has been a significant increase in activities that contribute negatively to the environment in recent times. There are several factories setup in every country that release toxic gases into the atmosphere, which makes the air harmful for us to breathe and can result in several health complications, such as lung and heart diseases. For example, the NHS reports admitting several patients each year for preventable lung conditions who live closer to such factories. Therefore, I agree with this view because it is detrimental to one's health.  
  
In conclusion, even though the extinction of some species can result in an increase in certain diseases, the pollution of the air is more crucial and should be dealt with at the earliest.  
  
Thank you in advance for the comments!
I found at least 2 severe word usage problems that would lead to a failing LR score. You incorrectly used the words "last" and "graver" throughout the essay.  
  
Last refers to a type of finality while graver is an engraving tool. The essay topic is about the "loss" of a species. As for your opinion, I believe you meant to use the reference "greater" indicating more important problems. Such word usage errors when the writer knows the meaning of a word, but not the spelling. In these cases, referring to a dictionary would be best. The problem is that a dictionary will not be available during the actual test so improving your vocabulary pre-test is of the utmost importance.  
  
Another first paragraph problem is that the writer has not properly formatted the opinion sentence. It should clearly indicate that the last sentence use an opinion and discussion basis formulated by the writer. Proper pronoun usage is needed throughout.  
  
Proper first, second, and third pronoun usage helps indicate the correct comparative discussion format in the paragraphs. Pronoun referencing results in a better GRA score since it shows knowledge of correct grammar usage on the ESL part. Right know there are no differentiation pronouns used so the essay is single rather than multiple view reflective, which does not meet the discussion instruction.  
  
Each reasoning paragraph could also be scored as needing more development since the personal opinion only states an opumon without a complete explanation why it is such. Those need to be at least 2 sentences long to achieve that.  
  
There are actually more problems with this essay but this observation post will run too long. Focus on these basic problems first and show improvement with your next essay. We can address more improvement points then.
I spent 40 minutes completing the below essay. Hopefully to receive some feedback from all of you. Thank you so much.  
  
***Some people like to try new things, for example, places to visit and types of food. Other people prefer to keep doing things they are familiar with.  
  
## Discuss both these attitudes and give your own opinion.***  
  
Some people would agree that we should experience various cultures. There is a different opinion, however, whether people should be a creature of habit. In this essay, I will examine both views and state my own opinion.  
  
A group of people spends their interest on experiencing new things, such as locations or foods. Indeed, it is believed to stimulate their curiosity and equip them an open mind. Not only enjoy the journeys, but they also acquire diversified thoughts from the various cultures. For instance, the Feng Shui used to be a strange concept in the Western. Nevertheless, thanks to the cultural exchange activities, they learn how to apply it into the daily life, such as house decoration or fashioning.  
  
On the other hand, some people only would like to be under their daily routines. The unfamiliar activities will stress them and prevent from being downshifting. Indeed, they always feel connecting with their living area and enjoying the current values. It seems to be a common concept for most Eastern wives. Their paramount priority is families, thus they usually keep their attention on taking care of the children and fertilizing husband career. As a consequence, it is hard for them to spend time on experiences outsides their families.  
  
To sum up, both of these opposite sides of the debate seem to have valid reasons for their argument. It appears that try new things yet maintain a daily routine. Personally, I believe that any decision regarding this matter should be made with consideration of the ideas from both sides.
Good work on the restatement using 2 topic sentences. These were very clear reinterpretations that showed accurate English comprehension abilities. The examiner would have expected you to have delivered a clear personal opinion though. Just to help him provide you with a related TA score. He cannot provide a score for that aspect when all you did was repeat the discussion instruction. That fails to deliver a clear preliminary writer's opinion when it mattered to the starting score.  
  
Unfortunately, the solid discussion paragraphs fall short of being fully developed because you did not offer your opinion for each statement. For a high cohesive paragraph score you should not only present public reasons to A support the topic idea, you should also explain why you support or do not support the public perception.  
  
Additionally, there is a weakness in the examples being used. While you did discuss the culture aspect, you neglected to offer an insight into the food portion as implied by the prompt. So that could be seen as another reason the paragraph lacks development or, does not offer a completely comprehensive discussion based on the prompt requirements/discussion topic suggestions.  
  
Your personal opinion should never be presented as a part of the concluding paragraph. Doing so could result in an automatic failing score because there is no correct summarized conclusion presented. The last paragraph should just wap up the discussion ley repeating the salient points. The personal opinion is presented in only one of 2 ways for this writing instruction.  
  
1. Folded into the public opinion explanation  
2. Aa a stand alone paragraph  
  
The word count is just the right number of words for a beginner. You should steadily progress to 300 words maximum within 40 minutes over time. You clearly have the potential to gain a higher than average score with the proper guidance.
***The table below shows the total number of branches of banks and financial institutions in Nepal in 2019. The graph shows the ten districts in Nepal having the highest number of bank branches in 2019.***  
  
## Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

  
Write at least 150 words.  
  
While the table states the total amount of branches of banks and financial institutions in Nepal in 2019, the given graph illustrates the ten districts in Nepal with the highly significant number of bank branches in 2019. This essay will analyze the significant points of the statistics.  
  
Generally, in 2019, the majority of branches of banks and financial institutions belong to commercial banks and microfinance institutions. Besides, Kathmandu is seemly the financial center district of Nepal with the highest number of bank branches.  
  
In the mentioned table, the commercial banks and microfinance institutions have the highest numbers of branches representatively at 3585 and 3629. The share of both the two institutions dominated the table with 41,27% belonging to the commercial banks and 41,77% belonging to the microfinance banks. On the other hand, the smallest number of branches of banks and financial institutions is 205 belonging to finance companies.  
  
Turning to the graph below, it is not difficult to see that the district having the highest number of bank branches is Kathmandu with nearly 800 branches. The district had the lowest number of bank branches is Dang with approximately 150 branches.  
  
*
I must point out an evident error that has appeared twice now in your task 1 writing presentations. You seem to be under the impression that the best way to score highly in this exam part is by combining the task 1 and 2 writing styles. Since the tasks have different objectives and different scoring considerations, the mixed writing style will not increase the score. Rather, deductions will be applied to writing and discussion format sections as it relates to the task objective.  
  
Do not use the restatement + writer's opinion/ repetition of writing information in the summary overview. That is a task 2 writing practice, it does notrelate to task 1 requirements. In fact, you must learn to write in a proper task 1 format. Using a combined task writing presentation is not helpful to a score that could be lowered due to a confusing presentation style.  
  
Try to do a better job at analysing the provided image. Do not skip the information source mention. Thatis an important part of the summary presentation.  
  
On the other hand,  
Where is the one hand comparison that should come before this?  
  
Present uniform paragraphs of 3-5 sentences in length. 2 sentences will mean the paragraph in not fully developed, analyzed, and formatted. These will not be considered full paragraphs. A number of these paragraphs will receive reduced preliminary scores because of the lack of proper information dissemination in the paragraphs. Sometimes, thia problem can be solved using proper wording to introduce interlinked information through the use of proper transition sentences, phrases, or linking / transition words. This is an obvious weak point for you in both writing tasks that I have reviewed so far.