dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
**TED Resume: How to Speak so that People Want to Listen**  
  
There are four really powerful cornerstones, foundations, that we can stand on if we want our speech to be powerful and to make a change in the world. Fortunately, these things spell a word. The word is HAIL, and it has a great definition as well. The "H" is honesty, being true in what you say, being straight and clear. The "A" is authenticity, just being yourself. The "I" is integrity, being your word, actually doing what you say, and being somebody people can trust. The "L" is love, wishing people well, for two reasons. Absolute honesty may not be what we want. Tempered with love, honesty is a great thing. If we are really wishing somebody well, it is very hard to judge them at the same time.
There are four really powerful ~~cornerstones,~~ foundations, that we can stand on, if we want to have~~our speech to be~~ powerful and to make ...  
  
~~Fortunately, these things spell a word~~ .  
  
The "H" is honesty, being true in what you say... >> you have make clear definition of that term  
  
The "A" is authenticity, just being yourself. >> you need to make it more clear  
  
The "I" is integrity, being your word, actually doing what you say... >>it is good idea
Hello Erwiin1, I want you obtain suggestions from me, here we go:  
  
There are four really powerful cornerstones~~,~~and foundations, that we can stand on ...  
  
The "A" is authenticity, you just being yourself.  
.., and being somebody people can trust you .  
  
... wishing people well, for two reasons [what the two reasons you explain, there are in this essay? .]  
  
please use more cunjunction and adverbial clause for your essay and keep writing longer and usual to try more advance.  
  
note: keep writing and go ahead.
Hi erwin 1,let me give some advice,perhaps useful for you.  
1.There are four really powerful cornerstones, foundations, that we can stand on...-----> you just need put one word. both of them almost same meaning.  
  
2. The "A" is authenticity, you just being yourself  
3.The "L" is love, wishing people well, for two reasons. ----> you should be put the next sentence, or it called supporting sentences , to explain what is the two reasons.
Hi Erwin, first of all WELCOME to the Essay Forum Team, we hope you find this website helpful to your writing projects and we aim to provide you with a comprehensive feedback and constructive criticism in order to enhance your essay and be ready for submission.  
  
Moving forward, please find a few suggestions for your essay below;  
  
- There are four really powerful cornerstones~~,~~or foundations,  
- that we can ~~stand~~rely on  
- if we want our ~~speech~~voice to be powerful  
- Fortunately, these things spell ~~a~~the word.  
  
There you have it Erwin, as you can see, the enhancement is very minor, though it will be great if it is perfect, overall, the essay speaks for its purpose and the purpose is, for people, the readers, to understand what we can do to make the world a better place not only for the next generation but more importantly, for todays generation to live a more comfortable and morally able life.
Nowadays, Hurricane Matthew slams into Haiti and heads toward the United States, particularly southeast coast. This destructive storm may become initially storm to hit the United States in more than 10 years. It is become the record all the time. Matthew could become destroy the United States similar with the last major hurricane -Wilma- struck such as Key West and Florida with speed of winds approximately 120 miles per hour. This is also mean Matthew has become the longest period and the most destructive major natural disaster since record began in 1851. Fortunately, other major hurricane such as Ike, Sandy and Katrina absence surge The United States. This is since steering currents remained friendly and there have been a lot of recurving storms. Originally, Matthew initially as a tropical or windy rainstorm in Southeastern. Furthermore, the storm has strengthening in October and it is strongest briefly reach 160 mph. For anticipated and avoid citizen fatalities, the government was declared for South Carolina and North Carolina.
Hi Dioba, here's another one from my end.  
  
- ~~Nowadays~~Today , Hurricane Matthew slams  
- into Haiti and heads towards the United States, - storm ~~may become~~~~initially~~is one to~~storm to~~  
- It is ~~become the~~a record ~~all the time~~ .  
- Matthew could ~~become~~ destroy the United States  
- Wilma that struck a few states such as Key West ~~and~~, Florida with a speed  
- This is also mean that Matthew has become  
- the longest period and the most destructive ~~major~~ natural disaster  
- since ~~record began in~~ 1851.  
- This is ~~since~~due to the fact that there is a steering current~~s~~  
- ~~remained~~that is friendly and  
- Matthew ~~initially as~~is a tropical  
- or windy rainstorm in the Southeastern state .  
- Furthermore, the storm has ~~strengthening~~strengthened in October  
- ~~and it is strongest briefly reach~~at 160 mph.  
- ~~For anticipated~~To anticipate and be cautioned as well as to~~and~~ avoid citizen fatalities,  
- the government ~~was~~has declared  
- for South Carolina and North Carolina in a state of national calamity .  
  
There you have it Dioba, I hope the above remarks are helpful, as you can see, you still need to focus on the correct form of the words to associate in your essay as well as in completing your sentences.
In part of an expedition into Gabon's Abanda cave system, the explorer Olivier Testa found a population of dwarf crocodiles. The team's crocodile expert Matthew Shirley realised that crocodile eats many bats that falling into the water or lining up to be plucked off the cave walls. With at least 5 kilometres of caves to occupy, its difficult to precisely know how many crocs are in this cave.  
  
Another discovery, when the crocs go deeper, the older, dark-coloured males had become paler, turning a bright orange. The water these crocodiles swim through is essentially an alkaline slurry formed form bat dropping. The urea in bat guano makes the water very basic and erode away the skin and changes its colour. While the crocodiles appear to spend the entire dry season in the caves, they emerge during the wet season at least to breed.
Hello Yonathan,  
  
WHILE The team's crocodile expert Matthew...  
  
~~With~~it is at least 5 kilometres (...), its difficult to precisely knowTO KNOW PRECISELY how many ~~crocs~~ CROCKS/ALIGATORS are in this cave.  
  
... swim through is ~~essentially~~ ESSENTIAL an alkaline slurry formed ...  
  
... dry season in the caves~~,~~AND they emerge during ...
Hi Yonathan, below are a few suggestions for your summary essay.  
  
- In part of ~~an~~the expedition in~~to~~ Gabon's  
- Matthew Shirley realiz ed that crocodiles  
- eat~~s~~ many bats that ~~falling~~falls into the water  
- the cave walls~~. With~~, with at least  
- 5 ~~kilometres~~kilometers of caves to occupy,  
- its difficult to precisely know how many ~~crocs~~crocodiles ( I know this is a summary but you have to refrain from cutting the words ) are in this cave.  
  
- Another discovery~~, when~~is that the  
- ~~crocs~~crocodiles go deeper,  
- the older, dark- colo~~u~~ red males had ~~become paler~~gone pale ,  
- turning ~~a~~them into bright orange.  
- is essentially ~~an~~ alkaline ~~slurry~~ formed ~~form~~from bat droppings .  
- changes its ~~colour~~color~~. While~~, while the crocodiles appear to spend the entire dry  
- the wet season ~~at least~~ to breed.  
  
There you have it Yonathan, I believe you have a well rounded and comprehensive summary, this only means that you absolutely understood the article and this brings a very effective review.
**Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of criem. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and motivation for comitting it, should be taken into account when deciding the punishment.  
  
Discuss both views and give your opinion.**  
  
Several humans think of that crime must have punishment every case occuring. While others have opinion that the people have the reason for do the crime and this reason must have consider before the punishment is fixed. On the other hand I really keen on with the first view because crime is negative behavior and should be vanished to prevent more criminal.  
  
Recently, degree of crimes always increase in several countries, this is caused by more factors. On of the factor is less of streght law. Interestingly, while the countries have a law arranging aparticularly crime, this is do not be considered by criminalis. Wherever every criminal should be give hard punishment. For illustrates, indonesia has a good law arranging crime, but criminal always occurances because they do not strict with the criminalis. As the result, crimes always occurance every where and everytime caused by less stress of law and punishment. I believe that strenght law and hard punishment are the good solution, and there is no amnesties to the crime because crime always culprite and make uncondusive situation.  
  
However, several people have opinion that every body engaging crime have a reason and this is crucial to be considering before the punishment is fixed. In the most country there are more aspect to consider before punishment is gived, one of all is background or motive the criminalis doing the crime. For example, the United States of America has a culture in consider punishment to the criminalis. They have human right aspect to consider before they giving the punishment. While this way will give more jobs for the police because the police always geting new criminal case with the same problem.  
  
In conclusion, preventing to the increases of criminal, punishment should be fixed without considering the background of the criminal do the crime .  
  
*303 word.*
Hi Bambang, please find additional help below;  
  
- Several ~~humans~~people think ~~of~~  
- that crimes must have punishment  
- everytime they are committed~~case occuring~~ .  
- While others have an opinion that, ( don't forget your punctuation marks )~~the~~ people have  
- ~~the~~a reason for do the crime  
- and this reason must ~~have~~be considered before the punishment is ~~fixed~~imposed .  
- On the other hand, I am really  
-a crime is a negative behavior  
- and should ~~be vanished to prevent more criminal~~abolished in order not to encourage more criminals .  
  
There you have it Bambang, as you can see, there's still a lot of work to be done in your essay, the first paragraph is enhanced as you can see above and I hope you follow through, be mindful with your linking verbs, punctuation marks as well as the form of words as well as how you incorporate them in your sentence. I hope to review the revised one soon.
**All children should study a foreign language, starting in the earliest grades.  
To what extent do you agree or disagree to this statement ?  
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.**  
  
Write at least 250 words.  
Earliest grade students are required to learn foreign language. I personally agree with this idea that it is important for young pupils to study second/foreign language at the primary level in order to gain impressive competence on its language.  
  
There are good reasons why foreign language needs to be learnt in the earliest grades. Firstly, people are able to imitate a language since they were a child. Children usually repeat the words they listen and easily keep in their mind. A research on a second/foreign language learning and acquisition found that the Critical Period Hypothesis in which at the age of under 13 is the best stage of people to acquire or learn a language to be native-like. Secondly, environment in which all the communities use foreign language as a medium of communication can affect on people behavior. Kids who enrolled in international kindergarten and elementary school are able to speak foreign language because they get used to listen and speak its language each other. For instance, Dian Harapan International School that has around 60% students from local people while the rest are from overseas uses English as their medium of instruction. As the result, the local students are able to speak English well.  
  
Next, nowadays people live in the modern era in which technology becomes primary needs. Students utilize personal computer or notebook to support their learning activities. It means that they have to know foreign language such as English because all the instructions are written on it. Finally, as well as supporting students learning, students use internet to support their lessons and materials. Mostly information in e-learning from world wide websites that can be accessed openly is used international language (English).  
  
In conclusion, I do believe that it is better the students of earliest grades in school to learn foreign language with some profits that they easily memorize the vocabularies and help them to find some information that support their lesson.
I would like to give some comment about your work.  
  
overall, it is good enough for task response, but perhaps you need to add the various vocabularies in order to avoid repetition.  
  
some grammar in use is perhaps needed to correct.  
  
Such as sentence "Kids who enrolled in international kindergarten...." (if u used it as verb, it is not consistent tenses because u used present before, so we can correct it to be= Kids who enrolls in international kindergarten or Kids who are enrolled in international kindergarten )  
  
"some information that support their lesson"= the correct one is "some information that supports their lesson"
Hi Sman, I would like to share a few insights on your essay.  
First of all, I do agree that learning a foreign language at an early age is somehow necessary. This day and age has proven to be very challenging, competitive to everyone, regardless of the field a child wants to pursue in the future, knowledge of a second language, say for instance English, is of great advantage and will definitely bring a huge relief to parents, knowing that their kids are capable and able to carry themselves in the outside word.  
  
Now, I must say that you have a well comprehensive essay, you managed to raise your points, views and understanding of the task at hand, however, I have a few suggestions on your first paragraph.  
  
- ~~Earliest grade students are required to~~The earlier the student learn a foreign language the better they will have understanding and grasp of the language .  
- I personally agree with this idea, ( don't forget your punctuation marks ) that it is important for (...) to gain impressive competence ~~on its language~~ .  
  
There you have it Sman, I believe you can see that there is a difference in the original paragraph and I hope you find this helpful in your revision and for future writing reference,mind the minor details of your sentences and make sure that they are not left out as they complete the sentence.
**Plant Life in The Taklimakan Desert**  
  
Taklimakan desert occupy about 337.600 square km of northwestern China and consist of sand dunes up to 250 m tall, daily temperature up to 68 F and lack of water. But some plant form has developed unique mechanism that adapted to extreme temperature and high-salt soil. For example, desert plants like Euphrates poplar has an extensive root that allow to absorb water far away. Otherwise, P. euphratica have ability to opening and closing the stomata for minimize evaporation and conducts photosynthesis. And Tamarisk plant, have high tolerance for salty conditions and produces its own salt for repellent another plant.  
  
Although under extreme condition, desert plants have some benefits for ecosystem. For example, desert plants like Euphrates have extensive root and stabilizing sand dunes and preventing erosion. Otherwise, desert plants also becoming home and protect some animals in the desert from predator or extreme temperature.
Universal language that have to be honed since childhood is tremendously important for their future. Nowadays, there is a case in amid citizen that become viral over related to all kiddos should be implemented regarding international language since babyhood. To be frank, i totally believe that the childhood education should be added foreign language subject since youth.  
  
It can not be inevitable, in this present era, international language that have to be owned by all of individual is the crucial thing due to the fact that it is able to help people to enlarge their knowledge and accessing all of materials that contain english language. Due to the critical reasons above, international language must be adopted since childhood because childhood period is able to receive all of contents easily compared to elder. the adult term tend to get understanding difficulty. They have a huge number of complicated problems such as earning money and holding out their life.  
  
In addition, foreign language that is planted since kiddos term has various merits. Firstly, the bilingual kids is more confidence compared to the others who do not learn the international language. The expert kids in bilingual language will have knowledge widely they can access site, web, and books that use english language. Secondly, person who study international language since earliest will be more competitive for their future because many jobs that are provided in all of countries commonly need bilingual language's ability. Lastly, they are able to communicate easily with another person who live in different region and knowing international issues that are occured in world society.  
  
In sum up, i absolutely believe that international language must be taught since dawning period. There are great deal of benefits when it is beginning since first period education.
Hi Mr X  
Let me give you some correction  
  
Universal language that ~~have~~has to be honed since...  
  
... international language that ~~have~~has to be owned by all of the individual is the (...) and accessing all of the materials that contain english English language.  
  
... and books that use ~~english~~English language. Secondly, a person who study...  
... with another person who ~~live~~lives in the different region and (...) that are ~~occured~~occurred in world society.  
There are a great deal of benefits ...  
  
Thank you...
**Japanese Scientist Yoshinori Ohsumi Wins the Nobel Prize in Medicine**  
  
The scientist of japan had been awarded this years in medicine on Monday for finding related to the derogatory and recycling of natural component.  
  
Disorganized autophagy has been connected to differing diseases involving parkinso's diabetes and cancer, the institute said.  
The concept has been recognized for many years ago, its basic importance in physiology and antibiotic was only recognized after yosinori ohsumi' research in the 1990s. It was 107th award in the medicine category since the first Nobel prizes were carry.  
  
Last years ago reward was given by some scientist who develoved treatment for malaria and others diseases. The publication continue with aid on Sunday while chemistry on Wednesday and Nobel peace reward on Friday.
Hello,  
Here some inputs for you.  
  
~~The~~**A**~~scientist of japan~~ Japanese scientist had been awarded **for** this year~~s~~ in medicine **field** on Monday for finding related ...  
  
... differing diseases involving ~~parkinso's~~**parkinson,**~~diabetes~~**diabetic** and cancer,..  
... antibiotic was only recognized after ~~y~~**Y**osinori ~~o~~**O**hsumi' research in the 1990s.  
  
Last year~~s ago~~ , reward was given by some scientist who ~~develoved~~**developed** treatment for malaria ...  
  
**Good Luck!**
Hi Radja.  
Let me help you to finalize your summary  
  
~~The~~ A scientist of *j*Japan had been awarded A NOBEL PRIZE ~~this years~~ in medicine on Monday IN THIS YEAR for ~~finding~~ AN INVENTION WHICH related to the ...  
  
THE INSTITUTE SAID THAT Disorganized autophagy (...) diabetes and cancer~~, the institute said.~~  
... recognized for many years ago, WHERE its basic importance in physiology ...  
... category since the first Nobel prizes ~~were~~ carry.  
  
... was given by some scientistS who ~~develoved~~ DEVELOPED treatment for malaria ...  
The publication continueD with aid on Sunday while ...  
  
Note: Honestly, your summary is quite messy. I do not know why you separate your sentences in this summary so that it seemed not having coherence. Please, it does not matter if you only create one paragraph for the summary. It is important that one idea and another idea are relevant. Besides that, check your spelling.  
  
I really believe you can make the summary better if you wanna provide more time to practice again and again.
**Some experts believe that is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school.  
Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?**  
  
In order to communicate well in global era, some educational professors claim that learning a foreign language should be started in the earliest grades in school rather than in high school level. Personally, I assume that a couple of benefits outweigh the drawbacks. Therefore, there are valid arguments on the both sides, which I will discuss now.  
  
On the one hand, it is often said that acquiring foreign language will be much better since we were a child because children are able to imitate language than adolescence. This also supported by the theory of second language and learning acquisition which is stated that Critical Period Hypothesis or the age between 3 - 12 years old is the golden age to acquire or learn second/foreign language. For instance, kids who enrolled in international kindergarten until elementary school are able to speak English well because they get used to converse on it. In addition, a reasonable learning foreign language since childhood become good foundation for the next stage or school level because nowadays many books and social networking are written or spoken in foreign language such as English.  
  
On the other hand, learning foreign language in primary level has several drawbacks. One problem is that students will be frustrated in the school because they have been given many compulsory subjects including mathematics, sciences, and even their first language. So, children may not be able to focus on their lessons because too many subjects must be done. Another issue is that childhood is the period in which they played more than learning. As a result, many children cannot enjoy their early stages like others.  
  
All in all, regarding to both point of views, it seems that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages for the children who started to learn foreign language in primary grades.
Hi ucha,i give some suggestions, perhaps useful for you.  
  
... will be much bettersince we were a child because children are able to ... ----> since=because=as have same meaning, it is means redundancy in one sentence.  
  
... by the theory of a second language and (...) acquire or learn a second/foreign language.  
  
~~One problem~~ is that students will be ...  
Another issue is that childhood is the period ... -----> if you mention another issue, so in the early sentence it must be " one of the problems is"