dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
Hi, I think you did a pretty good job of addressing the prompt until your final paragraph. The prompt did not ask for your personal opinion, so unless it does, do not give your opinion. Your writing was fairly clear, but you had a lot of small grammar errors that overall make your essay sound unnatural. You especially should work on singular/plural, since you have a lot of mistakes in that area. Here are some specific suggestions:  
  
Because of the new invention {what new invention? You have to tell the reader specifically} of this modern era,  
  
... considerably interested in downloading an e-book  
  
on their smart technology devices such as phones  
  
this kind of books ~~is~~ ~~weighs~~ less and (...) to hold in their hands. {this is a reason - don't introduce your reasons in the introduction, wait until the body paragraphs}  
  
people reading ~~an~~ e-books, there will be fewer people  
  
The first advantage of the e-book trend {this sounds repetitive, as you used the exact same phrase in the sentence before}  
  
easily handle {"store" seems better here} several books ...  
  
people do not have to carry several paper-books  
  
Moreover, publishers do not have ... make a thousand books to sell. All they need is just to write a book  
  
save their [time] and money ...  
  
Some groups of people  
  
receive this type of book due to the fact  
  
technologies, which are used to download the books.  
  
Because of the light from the smart technologies,  
  
Also, this trend will affect people's health  
  
books will have detrimental effects for ...  
  
In conclusion, this trend will provide convenience for people and it is environmentally friendly to the earth.  
... cannot afford for the books. {well, the trend won't really effect those who can't afford it, the trend will just bypass them}  
  
it is not equal for the poor people.  
  
using two hands to hold the books and opening each page to continually read
## Traffic congestion

  
  
*The best way for governments to solve the problem of traffic congestion is providing free public transport in 24 hours per day, and seven days a week. To what extent do you agree or disagree?*  
  
There has been a discussion about whether the governmental authorities should address traffic halt by supplying shared vehicles free of charge all day and all week. While I believe that this brings several benefits, I would argue that it has also a number of negative impacts on the society. It leaves no doubt that there are several reasons for making public transport uncharged as a means to deal with the increased number of vehicles during rush hours. Firstly, it may act as a contributing factor to reduce private cars and motorbikes on the road. This is because when buses or trains are free of charge, people have a tendency to take advantage of them rather than their own vehicles, which leads to a decline in traffic problems.  
  
Secondly, proving shared transport all day can change people's attitude towards means of transportation. For example, if officers leave their company at late night, they have almost no choice apart from driving their cars or motorbikes. Thanks to the provision of buses and underground, they can go home safe and sound without any difficulties. This gradually gets them into the habit of making use of public transport more frequent and at any time of the day. However, there are several alternatives which can be implemented to deal with the problem of traffic jam. Firstly, it is understandable that transport infrastructure should be upgraded. By doing so, the roads are widened and people have more space to travel without having to afraid of inching along the streets. Broader roads also means higher speed for all vehicles, therefore, the amount of traffic at the same time on the road may be significantly decreased leading to less congestion. Secondly, relocating industrial zones to the countryside is another effective solution to traffic jam in big cities. The high concentration of massive companies in those zones results in a wave of job seekers moving from rural to urban areas, which imposes a burden on transport system. The relocation helps cope with traffic halt by reducing road users, especially at rush hours when employees come home from their workplace.  
  
In conclusion, while a free and all day available public transport may seem to be a beneficial solution, I believe that other more effective measures should be taken into consideration to deal with traffic congestion.
Your sentence structures are confusing and overly complicated in my view. First body graph statement "It leaves no doubt that there are several reasons.." is overly complicated, you can write like "there are several reasons". Similarly statement "This is because when buses or trains...." can be rewritten as "Since buses or trains are more affordable and convenient, people will prefer public transportation rather than their own automobiles, and traffic congestion will reduce significantly".  
  
Furthermore, for linking words, try to use varieties like "First of all, To begin, Furthermore, Additionally" instead of repeating the same one.  
  
Lastly, the essay is asking "should the government provide free ..." Remember this is opinion essay, not a "problem and solution essay". The ideal response should be  
  
Opinion - "Yes, the government should provide free public transportation 24X7, as traffic congestion is becoming huge issue day by day"  
Supporting idea 1 - since it is free of charge, people will be more motivated to use it and they will not use their own automobiles. example - bus services in the national parks  
  
Supporting idea 2 - it will be available for 24 hours and 7 days, therefore, frequency and interval of buses will be great and people will more rely on them. Eventually, they will solely depend on public transportation.  
  
You can expands these supporting ideas into two paragraphs. Hopefully, this helps.
Nguyen, the essay that you wrote is not going to get a passing score because your whole approach to the discussion is wrong. This is an extent based opinion essay, it is not a simple agree or disagree essay. Neither is it a benefit or advantage and disadvantage essay. Your discussion does not apply to the given prompt. Look at this outline to understand why your error created a prompt deviation that created a failing score essay because you did not get the topic for discussion nor the discussion style right:  
  
Original Instruction: To what extent do you agree or disagree?  
Your Response: While I believe that this brings several benefits, I would argue that it has also a number of negative impacts on the society.  
  
Rather than discussing the extent of your opinion on the given topic, you chose to create your own discussion points instead. This runs counter to the original prompt and will result in a failed TA score. Once the TA fails, the rest of the essay scoring points cannot be given a passing mark either. An error in the discussion response that is this serious will make the examiner realize that you did not understand the instructions for the discussion. As such, you are definitely not prepared to attend an English speaking academic institution overseas. Your lack of instruction comprehension means that your English abilities are only at the beginner level. It is not even intermediate at this point since you created a prompt deviation that is in no way related to the original discussion instruction.  
  
Do not write the essay just for the sake of writing a response. You need to make sure that you are properly responding to the essay. Before you write more practice tests, read more model essay samples first. We have more than a handful of those to offer you here. Learn from the lessons taught to the others and apply those suggestions to your future practice writing tests.
PROMPT: *Some people believe that teaching morality should be the foundation of education. Others believe that teaching a foundation of logical reasoning would do more to produce a moral society.  
  
Write a response in which you discuss which view more closely aligns with your own position and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should address both of the views presented above.*  
  
\*\*\*  
  
Education foundation is very trivial part for any country, because it decides its future growth and development.The claim made by some people believes that,teaching morality should be foundation of education on the other hand some people argue for logical reasoning would do more than morality.No doubt morality and logical reasoning are both very crucial and important part of the education,however in this world which is becoming more pragmatic day by day I personally believe that logical reasoning will do more.  
  
21st century has been revolutionized in many areas.It composes of revolution in science,technology,medicine,industrialization etc.So to survive or withstand in these areas one require be more precise accurate and mostly logical in-order to understand what will impact what.This logical reasoning can help him evaluate complex scenarios with maximum efficiency.To illustrate this we all NASA has made so many amendments to improve its functionality or efficiency in every small thing that being used in space flight.  
  
On the other hand as the world is moving more into industrialization and competition to be at top position sometimes urges human to take wrong or negative steps which can help in short term benefits:to be at the top position.Contrary the negative paths taken to achieve that may have long term harmful repercussions on the society and mankind.So it is very important sometimes to have a good moral foundation with a person so that he or she doesn't become so greedy that he forget about the true human values and moral.  
  
Thus to survive,in order to be more efficient and innovative uit is very important that logical reasoning be a part of education foundation so that a individual can be independent.While morality is also very important in-order to protect environment,society and its people from detrimental harmful repercussions from a morally incorrect way.  
  
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I wrote this essay under timed conditions. Please give me feedback! (and how would you score it on the GRE scale 0-6) THANK YOU!
Mohit, this is a seriously flawed GRE essay that cannot gain any score higher than a 2 for the following reasons:  
  
1. You offered only a personal point of view in this essay rather than doing a proper paragraph based comparison of the 2 points of view prior to discussing your personal opinion. Your personal opinion should have been presented later in the essay.  
  
2. Your presented ideas are poorly developed due to lack of proper connecting words and appropriate information presentation in relation to the topic sentence of the paragraph.  
  
3. The language and sentence structure errors are so bad that these sentences and paragraphs tend to not make any sense to the reader. The problem lies mainly in your inability to use proper grammar, properly develop the sentences, and use appropriate punctuation in the presentation.  
  
I think that the main problem was that you were too focused on completing the essay within the required time limit that you just kept on typing without leaving time to proof read your paper. When you fail to proof read, you end up with a badly written essay such as this one. I strongly urge you to leave at least 10 minutes towards the end of the writing period to double check your essay. Make sure the essay is clear and coherent and that proper punctuation marks are used throughout. Do not use long sentences that could turn into improperly developed run-ons.
Hi, your English is very good and your essay is extremely well-written. That is what makes it so hard to tell you that I don't think this essay would score very well. You have not really addressed the prompt at all, you have answered almost an entirely different question. You have answered "What is the most effective way for a government to improve the well-being of its people?" But notice that this is not the prompt you were given. The question is whether it is more important to have a "successful society" or is the "general welfare of all its people" more important? I think "successful society" is open to interpretation, which you would probably do in your introduction. To me, this implies a modern, advanced capital, with impressive buildings and monuments, a modern military and a respected university, and so on. So the question is whether governments should strive to have an impressive society or happy citizens. One common format for IELTS introductions is to restate the prompt in your own words. I don't know if this is the most creative method, but it does help to make sure that you are addressing the prompt directly, which I don't think you have done here. Here are some specific grammar and usage suggestions:  
  
India has recently opened ...  
  
which is considered ~~as~~ the business capital  
  
its implementation will immensely ...  
  
However, the travel expenses {"travel expenses" sounds odd and unclear here. I would say "ticket prices"} of this train limits its usage  
  
... result in a tortoise walk {I think you need to define "tortoise walk" or give more clues - maybe a tortoise walk means slow and steady progress resulting in victory, like the "Tortoise and the Hare" story, but here I think you mean it disparagingly} towards success of the society.  
  
in order to be on par with ... {this is a little unclear to me} Once, {no comma here} the individuals of the society  
  
reach a certain level of prosperity,{is this what you mean? "Extent" is pretty vague} then another step  
  
followed by a waiting period.  
  
In the case of ...  
  
the individuals of the society are giventwith {this is unclear - "given with" doesn't work - maybe "granted the minimum"?} the minimum amount of resources
Hi reviewers, thank you in advance for reviewing my essay. I am preparing for IELTS GT exam and the following essay is for Writing task 2. I have 3 weeks to prepare, and if you can provide a review as per TA ( Task Achievement), CC ( Coherence and Cohesion ), Lexical Resources/ Vocabulary (LR) and Grammer (GR), that will help me to focus on the weakest area. If not, any suggestions/ comments are welcome.  
  
## Essay Topic - Computers are becoming an essential part of education. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages and give your own opinion.

  
  
As part of the school assignment, computers are becoming the requirement. In my opinion, it is beneficial to children as today the average person's work-life resolves around computers and exposing younger people to the computer early in school prepares them for the future. The most prominent advantage is children get access to the Global school, which help them in understanding and learning better. On other hands, sometimes they get distracted easily by social media and computer gaming.  
  
Using the computer at schools, children can access Global libraries like the online video tutorial, FAQ forums, free e-books and they can grasp on fundamental concepts easily. Without the computer, students have to rely only on books and tutorials given in the classroom, and if they have any other doubts or if they don't understand material easily, they get only limited help. But Internet has truly opened up the whole world to them, and they get the infinite amount of information. For instance, for any single math or science problem, they can find many different ways to solve it. In addition to that, using forum they can interact with people having same issues and learn from each other.  
  
To contrary, using the computer also brings distractions, for examples, computer gaming, and social media, which hinders their progress on studies. While using the computer, it is very easy to get off track as it offers many other functionalities. When using study with paper and pen, focus comes easily. One of the examples of this is, when using the computer for doing an assignment, children end up checking their emails, playing a bit of game and checking their social media, as these functionalities are readily available. If the same assignment is done using Paper- pen, it gets done correctly.  
  
Although there are some disadvantages to using too much computer at school, they outweigh advantages as computer skills are helpful in selecting good career options and maintaining high profile jobs. Today, around 80% - 90% job requires more or less of computer work, therefore learning computer skills at school level is really beneficial.  
  
To summarize, using the computer at school may cause the distraction to study, but in later like having good computer skills are undeniable to any career options.
*Merged:* ## Discuss computer usage in education | IELTS Writing Task 2

  
  
Usage of the computers is becoming more prevalent day by day in the traditional education. Many people believe that this is a good sign, while others think that it is approaching bad consequences. In my opinion, Information technology has transformed education and it has the positive impact. This essay will first discuss, how the computers have provided infinite information and set up an uplifting trend. Later, it will look into people's concern about why too much utilization of the computers has caused negligible personal interaction.  
  
Firstly, the computers have supplied unlimited resources for learning and made education more flexible and easy. Students nowadays can gain knowledge not only from classroom assignments and libraries but also from readily available online resources, like free or paid e-books, abundant numbers of tutorials, and several forums with likewise people. In my opinion, this had made education readily available to everyone and provided facilities so that people can learn anything at their convenience. For instance, using the online courses and tutorials, people are gaining their graduate degrees and certification courses. As per one survey, 50% of people are educating themselves using online universities and websites like Udemy academy, Pheniox university and so on.  
  
Secondly, apart from above advantages, computers' usage has influenced students' personal interaction with their mentors and classmates. As every assignments and course can be done online, there is no need to do the traditional presentation using the whiteboard and interact with peers. In my opinion, using Internet communication has developed abruptly. For example, people can communicate and provide the presentation to not only their classmates but globally can update and interact using Skype, Zoom, Slack and What's up. Although computer usage affected real personal conversation, it has provided the alternative and advanced way of interaction.  
  
In conclusion, Information technology has revolutionized education and it is leading to the bright future.
## A gift has its spiritual meaning

  
  
There are many people say that giving presents should not be encouraged, because people do not like or want, and this leads to be wasted of money. Actually, there are a lot of people who love and expect donation- and it's not always that buying a gift is bad- this means that wasting money happens in a few cases.  
  
I agree that it'll be a waste of money if you give a present to wrong people or somebody you force to do it. This means it's just a custom. In this case, the gift has no meaning because you spend much time to find out and choose it, but the receiver maybe do not like or want it. This should not be promoted nowadays.  
  
In fact that the present has only just been given to the special on big holidays or anniversaries- birthdays, Christmas, New Year, weddings, etc. How much you are wasted of money when they are your important people. For instance, on the birthdays of your children, they will be waiting for you every single hour until you give them at least a present. For another example, in your friend's wedding, should you take her or him a gift like a souvenir of close friendship or cash? I think your friend would love to a gift instead of money. He or she will remember your gift which you spend on time to choose for them than any else.  
  
Summarily, giving a gift should be encouraged continuously due to its spiritual meaning. It reminds the best time when they have together in their lives.
Hello!  
  
You have some good ideas for the content, but the structural framework of most sentences are incorrect and I note quite a few grammatical errors.  
  
I'll do a quick correction for you.  
  
Intro Para Most people say that giving presents should not be encouraged, because the receiver might not want or like it resulting in wastage. However, another group of people think that it represents a lovely gesture and is to be appreciated. I personally support the second view point.  
  
Body Para A gift when given to a wrong person or when forced on someone out of sheer formality becomes a burden and a waste. This behaviour should be curtailed and not the idea of gifting people. Gifts are given to loved ones on special occasions such as birthdays, weddings, anniversaries, etc. This gift brings joy and happiness to the person receiving it. Gift giving promotes positive emotions and creates wonderful memories for people and every bit of money spent becomes worthwhile.  
  
Conclusion Para Giving is gift is a wonderful behaviour that needs to be nurtured and promoted, not because of the value of the gift, but for the spiritual and emotional meaning it holds in the lives of people.  
  
You can add more points in the Body paragraph. It's always better to split your essay into an introduction, a body and a conclusion paragraph which makes it more concise and specific.  
  
Just keep reading a lot of books and work on your grammar and sentence framework.  
Good Luck! :)
## How does this increase in the availability of information influence life in today's world?

  
  
The internet has access to a huge database which contains millions of information. It is easy for anyone to google for any information using a search browser, which can give us a lot of good information that we need. However, Bad information is available too and has a bad influence.  
  
First, in studying the internet provide us with different resources and free access to a different information related to the subject matter, which can help us in saving money. Nevertheless, wrong information exist and in a big percentage. If you were looking for information for your Master research and you used information that is not correct, then it is definitely going to affect your research badly.  
  
Second, one of the good benefits that comes from the availability of information today is Medical Information, Where you can look for the symptoms of your disease or the pain you're feeling, the internet provides wide information from different doctors which can be very helpful. On the other hand, Having the wrong information and act upon that information may lead to bad result. Especially if it is something serious.  
  
Finally, the free information that available on the internet is double-edged sword. It can be helpful as well as bad.