dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
The trending statement is over extended. A trend is a singular measurement of one activity or action. As such, it is used only to establish the platform of the report. The writer has mistakenly began the actual report in the overview+trend section with the inclusion of a second observation that should have better served the essay by being included in the reporting paragraphs instead. The summary overview should cover at least 2 sentences. That way the highlights of the information are properly introduced and become more useful in the establishing paragraph. Rather than creating a 2nd trend, the writer should find another creative way of enumerating the listed information instead.  
  
A task 1 essay needs to be written without bias. Therefore, no pronouns of any sort, not first,second, or third person, should be used in any part of the reporting paragraphs. Only general statements must be made as the objective is to inform rather than influence the reader. Pronouns must be used in the Task 2 essay, rather than the task 1 presentation.
***In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food.***  
  
## To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

  
  
In the modern life, many countries have reported a large number of people contracting diseases relating to eating too much fast food. This problem leads to controversial opinions whether taxes be imposed on this kind of food or not. Personally, I partially agree with this point of views.  
  
On the one hand, taxing unhealthy food brings several benefits to the health of the citizens. If the price of junk food increase dramatically, people will be deterred from consuming it and will instead prepare food at home or have other healthier choices . Moreover, the expenditure on this kind of food can be later used by government and local councils to allocate funds to the maintenance of fitness facilities as well as the construction of the new ones. In other words, imposing taxes on unhealthy food will cultivate a life - time habit of refraining from junk food and people will also become more interested in engaging in physical activities because of invested health infrastructure.  
  
On the other hand, eating junk food is not the only cause leading to healthy problems. Firstly, many people are in habit of practicing sedetary lifestyle and rarely do exercises. In addition, the knowledge related to food and nutrition is blissfully ignored by a considerable number of people. As a result, these people run a high risk of contracting serious diseases and obessity. Futhermore, the pressure of the modern life also discourage people from leading a healthy lifestyle as they tend to choose unhealthy food for the sake of time - saving due to the overloaded amount of work and lack of time to take care of themselves. Besides, if the government impose a higher taxation schemes on junk food, there will be a decline in the middle and lower income families' consumption of this type of food, while the affluent consumers are not significantly affected. This means that the tax schemes are only effective with specific groups of people.  
  
In conclusion, while imposing taxes can bring some obvious advantages to our health, I believe that there are also some factors that contribute to health problems as well as this action can cause a problem related to the socal classes.
The first paragraph includes a reference to a total, not partial, prompt topic restatement. That means that the writer cannot use any part of the original prompt in his version. The retelling must be an original thought that does not contain any cut and paste references to the original words used. Doing so will result in a lower topic restatement score because the examiner will believe that the writer cannot compose an original paragraph and can only cut and paste words from the original to complete his version. There is also an incorrect reference to "controversial opinions". There is no such exaggerated reference in the original. This will mark down the original opinion restatement because of the deviation from the simple idea statement. Do not over do the emotional state of any opinion unless it is indicated in the original reference. The writer's opinion is incomplete as it does not include a reference to the summary discussion ideas that will support his opinion. This must be stated to help clarify the basis of the writer's opinion in the short form presentation.  
  
The overall writing will be scored based on a partially developed explanation. That is because the writer failed to solidly defend his opinion using a single point of view defense. This was never supposed to be discussed as a comparative essay. There was no reference to "discuss both views" or "Do the advantages outweigh..." which are the only prompts that use the comparative method of reasoning. The essay may not receive a passing score due to these mistakes in writing approach. This will be the result even as his supporting opinion paragraph is believable enough and tries its best to convince the reader of its correctness.
The first one is the mistakes with vocabularies. : se**d**entary lifestyle, and it usually goes with lead a sedentary lifestyle  
obesity not obesety in your essay. ==> these mistakes will affect badly your essay points./ social not socal  
(2): the conclusion is still confusing. You need to have at least 3 sentences in the last paragraph : the 1st is good but you should add a recommendation or a prediction in the future, it may be more persuasive
## pupils issues ANALYSIS

  
  
The chart illustrates the proportion of pupils who confront different types of education issues in two primary schools between 2005 and 2015. Overall, it is clear that school A had higher proportions of children experiencing education problems than school B in both years. However, school A managed to reduce the number of students with those difficulties, school B saw an increase in the percentage of pupils who were struggling.  
  
In 2005, 42% of children in school A found it difficult to follow instructions, whereas only 6% of pupils in school B experienced this problem. Besides, between 30% and 40% of students struggled with spelling, listening skills, verbal expression, and concentration in lessons in school A, while the equivalent figure for school B was between 5 and 15%.  
  
In 2015, the number of students in school A facing the following instructions problem decreased significantly to 18%, and this school also saw a rapid diminish in spelling, listening skills, verbal expression, and concentration in lessons by 5%, 15%, 14%, and 24% respectively. By contrast, in school B, the percentage of pupils confronted with spelling, and following instructions issues doubled, to 10% and 12% correspondently, and there was almost no change in the incidence of listening skills, verbal expression, or concentration difficulties.  
  
i've just been starting to write for 2 months, hope you could give me a feedback of this one. thanks a lot.
It is pretty obvious that the first time writer grasps the idea behind the task 1 essay and its requirements. He has done an acceptable job creating a summary overview, but could use some guidance towards completing the scoring requirements. He can get started with a more accurate image identifier.  
  
When creating the summary overview, focus on generating a mental picture of the image/s. Mention:  
1. How many images there are  
2. The specific image type rather than the general term  
3. The measurement used in reference to data indicators  
  
Doing so will remove the need to refer the reader to the image. This must be done because the reader is always assumed to not have a copy of the image on hand so such references are frowned upon in the presentation.  
  
There are also word usage issues in relation to LR and GRA considerations. The word "between" was improperly used in the sentence because there are no estimates provided in the image. Only specific measurements. The word "between" indicates that the author is estimating the actual measurement, which is never the case in percentage based information.  
  
There is also no such phrase as "rapid dimish". The correct phrase formation is "rapidly diminishing" to indicate a past but active action reference on the part of information sharing. Neither is it right to say "By contrast" as the correct phrase is "In contrast".  
  
Based on this essay, it will be safe for me to say that the writer shows the potential to achieve a higher than average score with his task 1 test. He just needs to address the problems above to further improve his scoring range in those specific areas. He should continue to develop his sentence writing skills as well to further strengthen his explanation paragraphs.
## People who live in large cities face a range of problems in their daily life

  
  
In today's world, urban life has been associated with many persistent issues that lead to city dwellers having to experience various concerns in their day to day activities. In this essay, I will discuss the causes and solutions for this situation.  
  
At present time, the huge number of people settling in metropolises face two main problems, one of which is traffic jams when commuting. Indeed, many mega-cities suffer from overcrowding due to the amount of transports in operation that overloads the current infrastructure. For instance in Hanoi, despite having about five million inhabitants, many roads are not big enough for one who is moving, especially in rush hours. As a result, people often have to refrain from traffic congestions. Moreover, the contaminated environment also is a factor that worsened the quality of life in mega-cities. Emissions from transports, garbage and even light make the environment in cities worse than ever. Therefore, despite being approached with many modern technologies, dwellers in metropolises have to face the risk of getting sick from environmental pollution.  
  
To combat those challenges, governments should consider strategies to modify that situation. To begin with, extending the roads and improving the quality of public transports will partly decrease traffic congestion when the number of vehicles is reduced. On the other hand, this solution has to take a long time to materialise, spending huge funds from taxes and few people want to take a bus instead of using their own vehicles.  
  
In conclusion, people who live in big cities have to face several problems that influence their daily life. In my opinion, governments around the world should discuss and modify the issues in many metropolises.
The opening statement is not acceptable as a prompt representation. While it did an ok job of presenting the discussion foundation, it did not provide direct responses to the 2 questions that are the basis of the reasoning discussion. It does not establish the correct topic + question responses that are required to meet the task accuracy and writer's opinion scoring considerations. It will receive a failing mark due to these missing criteria.  
  
When indicating that there are 2 main problems, these problems must be presented in the anchor topic sentence and explained via transitionary sentences within the same paragraph. The writer incompletely lists the problems and fails to transition the 2 topics properly in the same paragraph. This resulted in a less than cohesive paragraph presentation for which deductions will be applied. The discussion paragraphs are basically disconnected in presentation when the question requirements are fully considered.  
  
Additional problems arose in the second reasoning paragraph where only the problem of commuting received a solution but not the problem of Health hazards. To avoid these score lowering ommissions, it is important that the writer learn how to discuss this in the proper manner that is, for every paragraph, he must use: Problem + Solution for the paragraph presentation. By presenting a problem and the corresponding solution, he will not forget to discuss any related topic. It will also help create a far more cohesive and coherent discussion presentation worthy of a higher scoring C+C mark.
The first thing is the misbalance between 2 bodies: extending the roads and improving the quality of public transports will partly decrease traffic congestion when the number of vehicles is reduced. For this sentence you should separate it into 2 : first of all, extending the roads and improving the quality of public transports may help to alleviate the concerns of the public. Since they may decrease traffic congestion, there will be fewer accidents as well as the postponement of people's daily activities, which, in the process, relieves the unnecessary stress posed on citizens.  
  
The second is the conclusion : you should summary what you have analyzed in 2 paragraphs like: while X causes the problem, it could be solved by Y.
## What kids enjoyed doing the most in 2007?

  
  
**Topic: The graph below shows information about the activities that Australian and New Zealand children enjoy doing the most in 2007.**  
  
As we can see the bar chart delineates the data about the favourite recreational pursuits of children in two nation, namely Australians and New Zealanders in 2007. Overall, the Austrailian youths were keen on outdoor activites. In contrast, New Zealanders were more interested in indoors.  
  
For the Australians youths, sports was the most popular activities which accounted for about 20% of Austrilians. Followed after was the the proportions of children who was enjoy visited the park with a quarter of Australians. Next, 3 out of 20 Australians were keen on playing computer games and watching DVDs. Finally, the lowest percentages of children who were enthused in reading and art and crafts, which accounted for 10% and 7% respectively.  
  
Turn to the New Zealanders, children tended to enjoy art and craft, which accounted for 25 % of them. Followed after were children who liked to read books and watching, which each accounted for about 17% and then was children who liked to play games on computer with approximately 15%. Finally, the lowest proportion of children enjoyed outdoor activities which accounted for more than 10%.  
  
hi, i currently try to learn ielts writing. Can you help me check my writing pls. you a lot <3
A lack of familiarity with sentence formation, grammar rules, and word usage are the most observable problems that the writer has with this presentation. While he shows that he understands the requirements of the task, he does not know how to properly execute the discussion. This unfamiliarity has led to the score reducing problems of this presentation.  
  
While the summary overview is along the correct line, he made a reference to having the reader look at the image, a reader instruction that should never be indicated as the assumption for this task is that the reader does not have a copy of the image and as such, cannot be asked to refer to the image for any reaosn. The report must be a direct representation of the data instead. There is also a lack of proper measurement identification within the summary or trending statement that left the short form of important information incomplete for the reader.  
  
With regards to word usage and reference, the writer needs to tell the difference between the country and the citizens of the country. He incorrectly referred to the citizens of the country in the summary where the countries should have been indicated. This caused an error in sentence formation which will lead to further deductions.  
  
The reader will definitely be confused by the assorted measurement referencing in the reporting paragraphs. The writer must used the image data as presented. So if it was presented in percentages, he must present the same uniformly to avoid confusing the reader as the assorted measurement references reduces the clarity and understandability of the analysis.
## issues pertaining to a city life

  
  
**People living in big cities face problems; governments should encourage people to move to small towns. What are these problems? Do you agree the government should encourage people to move to small towns?**  
  
There is a suggestion that there are more incentives from the authority for people to migrate and settle down in less crowded towns due to the number of problems people face living in metropolises. In my opinion, the two central problems that city dweller encounter is poor air quality and inadequate housing and I totally agree that any governmental encouragement can contribute to mitigate these current problems.  
  
The perennial problem in big cities all over the world is bad air quality. Due to the high volume of traffic, the exhaust fumes released are enormous. For example, most people in Vietnam favour private vehicles over mass transit basically because of their flexibility. This takes a toll on the air people breathe every day and as a consequence, residents, especially those from the youth and elderly population suffer severe respiratory conditions like lung cancer. The second pressing matter is the dearth of housing areas. More and more people move to bigger cities in the search for career prospects and better living standards, inevitably leading to increasing demand for dwellings. The implications of which are skyrocketing prices of properties and those who can not afford will be pushed to run-down places, resulting in the formation of slums. For example, a square meter of land in big cities in Vietnam can inflict cost 30 times larger than that of rural areas and many young people end up living in dilapidated buildings if they want to anchor to the city.  
  
If people are motivated by the government to move to less popular towns, I believe pronounced changes are expected. Firstly, the reduction of traffic volume means a fall in the amount of toxic gases poisoning the air. This will leads to the situation in which everyone enjoys a better atmosphere. Secondly, if more people relocate to the smaller towns, the drain on city dwellers' mind concerning the property will be eliminated as there is more space now and the price will go down. There will be no concern about where to find a decent place without an astronomical price tag.  
  
In conclusion, air pollution and housing shortage are the main issues pertaining to a city life and I completely agree that government should stimulate more people's migration to less crowded cities.
The topic restatement is highly confusing. If it is a suggestion, then why did is suddenly turn into a statement of fact in the middle of the sentence? A suggestion for a plan of action is not the same as a plan already in action. The writer has not clearly presented the idea behind the topic restatement. Instead of trying to create a very long sentence, the aim should have been to present a short but clear restatement. An introduction is totally unnecessary. A statement of representation is all that is needed to create a clear rephrasing of the original idea. The writer created a run on sentence in the last line since a totally different idea that could not be connected to the previous idea by the word "and" was provided. Unless related to a previously presented idea, an unrelated idea or response to a question should never be included in the same sentence. Each idea should represent only 1 idea either alone or within a cohesive context.
***In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying.  
## To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?***  
  
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Traditional newspapers and books used to be an integral part of human life; however, as the Internet becomes more accessible than ever before, their marketability has been questionable at best because online materials can be read free of charge. While there is no denying the benefits of reading online newspapers and books over reading traditional ones, I believed that conventional newspapers and books can never be replaced.  
  
On the one hand, the reason accounting for why people can read everything freely online is the prevalence of the Internet. This is because the Internet helps people keep in touch with each other and share their daily experiences, social affairs, and even e-books or online article at no expense. In addition, as long as people watch the attached advertisements on the website, they can read its contents at no cost because the owner's primary source of income mainly comes from advertising so that they can allocate those budgets for website maintenance.  
  
On the other hand, not all online materials and websites are trustworthy. To earn more money, many online websites religiously deliver falsified and even over-exaggerated news to attract readers. This is the reason why the masses are inclined to lean towards the traditional materials that provide more reliable information. Furthermore, a host of websites often offer a price for copyright books or reliable international news to make money from the customers to have a sustainable income for their website operation. The Guardian and BBC are good examples. They offer a premium membership fee for online users who want to read all articles written by renowned and experienced writers.  
  
To conclude, while it seems that online reading is superior to traditional reading in some aspects, the latter can not be discounted and is by no means expendable.  
  
Please assess my coherence & cohesion and task achievement. Thank you.
The writer obviously misunderstood the discussion requirement for the essay. He has not responded in the manner that will earn him a proper scoring consideration overall. While the writer is responding to the task, he has not considered the format by which it should be presented and as such, failed to deliver the correct response format for the discussion. While he will receive a score for his discussion paragraphs, the lack of applicability of his response to the discussion instruction as provided will not allow this essay to receive a passing preliminary score. It is difficult to say that the writer can turn this into a passing essay since the response format used was not the expected single opinion defense.
## TWO pie charts ANALYSIS

  
  
The 2 pie charts compare 9 categories of waste discarded in a particular country in 1960 and 2011. Overall, the initial impression is the amount of paper, textiles and other which were disposed of fell significantly while there was a considerable increase in the disposed plastic, food and wood. It can also be seen that the figures for glass and green waste remained unchanged.  
  
In 1960, paper accounted for 25% of total disposal, but by 2011, this fell to slightly less than one-sixth. Moreover, the amount of textile experienced a significant drop from 17% to just over a tenth in the particular time frame. In terms of other, its figure in 2011 was three times lower (4%) than it was in 1960 (12%).  
  
In contrast, the proportion of plastic discarded saw a substantial growth from 8% to nearly 1 fifth while the figure for wood was twice as high, at 8% compared to 4%. Another notable increase was in the percentage food thrown away, which by 2011 was nearly double the 1960 figure(12%). In a meantime, the disposal of glass, metal and green waste remained constant, with proportions of approximately 9% for the first two and 5% for the latter  
  
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