dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
You are not taking the test seriously. You are not being careful with your grammar, your punctuation marks, your spelling, your sentence formations... The list just goes on and on. This is the work of a student who is not interested in passing the IELTS test. I cannot even begin to correct your errors because, frankly speaking, the only 2 parts you got right was that you presented a single opinion in the essay and you defended your stance within the given reasoning presentation paragraphs. However, the lack of care with the development of the ideas, the presentation of the ideas, and the overall lack of content review, presentation editing, and final touch ups to the presentation, will all combine to make you fail this test. Since you are most likely going to take the typing test at the center, the only advice I can give you is this:  
  
Review your grammar rules, double check your spelling, ensure you have proper spacing between words, and make sure that every sentence you write is properly formatted. You are failing because you are lazy and haphazard in your writing style. The way your wrote this essay tells the examiner that you just wanted to get the test over with, not that you wanted to pass the test.
TOPIC: Most of world's problems are caused by over-population.  
To what extent do you agree or disagree?  
  
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ANSWER:  
The world today is faced with many problems and I believe the root cause of them is over-population.  
  
The booming population is the underlying reason of financial crisis worldwide since decades ago. Unemployment rates have been strikingly high in many countries due to computerization. Labors are freed from repetitive work and numerous occupations become outdated. On the other hand, thanks to medical advancement, people enjoy a longer life span, increasing expenses on pension for governments. It is no wonder why governments of several countries (Iceland, for example) went bankruptcy.  
  
When it comes to another major concern - environmental problems, over-population again should be blamed for. Global warming, caused by excessive gas emissions and over-reliance on air-conditioning, has led to the melting of glaciers and a rise in sea levels. This, of course, has a lot to do with a rising population who are indulged in modern conveniences. Also, animals are losing their habitats, making room for the humans and their concrete jungles. Consequently, species have gone extinct at alarming rate.  
  
Furthermore, over-population has contributed to many sensational political disputes. The need for petrol has been on the rise due to the demand of increasing drivers in both developed and developing countries. This, however, has caused conflicts between oil providers and buyers, bringing about sanctions and wars. Moreover, countries fight sovereignty of territories for interests and so-called well-being of their fast-growing population, at the cost of many innocent lives.  
  
In conclusion, the uncontrolled population has been the fundamental reasons of global financial, environmental and political problems.  
  
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Appreciate all your comments. Thank you.
You have not followed the correct format for the presentation of this essay. The first paragraph in a Task 2 essay is always used as a prompt paraphrase. That means, you deliver an explanation of the original prompt, including a response to the discussion question/s (when required), you do not change the prompt by creating an opinion essay from the very beginning. So, this essay will be seen by the examiner as having an inappropriate format. The proper rephrasing for this essay is:  
  
*The world is admittedly, beset with seemingly unsolvable complications. The reason being given for these problems is that these all stem from the overcrowding of the planet. I am strongly in favor of this belief due to a few considerations.*  
  
As you can see, your response is not proper. You have not answered the question provided in the original prompt. In the process, you have accidentally changed the discussion slant of the essay. That means, your response does not have a proper format. However, what I did see in the reasoning discussion is that your response has become partly correct. The only missing aspect? A proper response to the degree question. Had you done that, your essay would have had a better chance to score in a passing manner.  
  
The question is not whether you believe overpopulation is the cause of the world's problems. The question, is to what extent you agree with that given assumption? Your degree of (non) support should have been supported by 2 applicable reasons. Your essay did not meet these requirements and therefore, cannot get a passing score.
## The life in the countryside area

  
  
In my point of view, living in rural areas is good for your life because of several reasons. First, the main advantages could be a clean environment. Because there are not many factories as well as less traffic. Moreover, there are a lot of trees, rice fields or ponds so you can walk here to enjoy the fresh air there in the early morning. Another benefit is everything is affordable, because people there have low income so a small business to succeed in a small town, it must be reasonably priced. If you living here, you can save a lot of money. Finally, people in the countryside are friendly and helpful. They are willing to help each other if they can. Kids are always taught to respect their neighbors and love them. The people of small communities are very down to earth and ready to get on with the new people. They welcome you with all their heart. In short, I really love living in a small town because it has many benefits.
@Dung2001  
Nice writing practice! I think you can make some improvement on your grammar as follow:  
  
you can walk there. Here means the place where you are.  
" Another benefit is everything is..." This is a run on sentence i.e. the part of this sentence are not connected properly and it also contains grammar mistakes. I recommend revising it as follow:  
  
"Another benefit is ... Because people ..." In case you want to express multiple idea in a single sentence, be very careful. You should split your sentence down to shorter one to avoid making mistakes.  
  
I hope that you will improve your writing further.
## choosing a studying method

  
  
Nearly, all people around the world have to be affected by a coronavirus, which has changed everything including education. So the presidents of schools notice that they will change the way to teach from traditional learning to online learning. There are two distinctions between the two teaching methods like instructional materials and flexibility.  
  
One of the most differences between e-learning and traditional learning is instructional materials. Learning through the internet requires learners who have a basic knowledge about technology to use power-point, join online class, or do the assignment on the internet. Moreover, during studying on the internet, learners have to know the graphics which include icons, symbols, photos, and illustrations to support online learning. For instance, students can try and find a way to make animated videos for their online representation and attract modern learners. On the other hand, traditional learning brings to learners some experiences that e-learning is not. First one, when students study at the school, they will chance to come to laboratories, workshops, clinics on the campus. Next, the teachers are easy to observe their students following the content of the lesson, giving them the best instructions through books, notes a direct way. Therefore, instructional materials are the primary difference between online learning and traditional learning.  
  
The online learning and traditional learning distinguish because flexibility which brings for students. With e-learning. Pupils can learn online courses even if they are at home or in the workplace. Wherever they go, or wherever they do, students might also access and complete their assigned projects with a good internet connection. Pupils could control a suitable time to participate in the class more analytical or critical skills in a particular domain. For example, if the student were an internship, she or he can learn the advanced level of JavaScript to be used in programming while doing a job. Traditional learning; however, is not flexible like online learning and making the pupils more difficult to study because of the rigid schedules in colleges and universities. So the students have to arrange their time a suitable way to follow the class. The learners must attend obligatory subjects but they are not convenient. Hence, online-learning is more flexibility than traditional learning  
  
In brief, between online learning and traditional learning individuals should be careful when choosing a studying method. If students need to give a choice, they should choose online learning because it makes many advantages for them.
I am not sure if you wrote this as a Task 2 essay or not because you did not include the original prompt in the presentation. As I do not want to make mistake in giving you advice, I will not focus on the format or response method that you have used, in relation to the Task 2 requirements. Instead, I will assume that this has been written as a general English essay writing exercise and focus on your grammar errors instead.  
  
Learn to use less words with a stronger meaning. This will help you develop a more concise writing style. For instance, rather than saying "... have to be affected by...", you could instead say "... must be affected by..." . Uncertainty must always be presented with certainty when writing academic essays. Remember that all introductory elements need a comma after it to show that the pause will introduce the actual discussion topic.In your essay it should have been written as "So, presidents of..."  
  
Punctuation and grammar errors include the misuse of a semicolon:  
  
Traditional learning; = Traditional learning :  
  
Conjunctions always have a comma after it. The reason being that you are connecting 2 thoughts in one sentence. Hence:  
obligatory subjects, but they...  
  
There are several other errors in the essay but, these are are all repetitions of the errors I mentioned here. You will do well to review your English writing rules and remember to follow these rules the next time you write an essay. In case you are preparing for the IELTS test, please let me know next time so that I can give a more applicable review for your work.
## New Zealand's fertility and death rate

  
  
The line graph gives information concerning the changes in New Zealand's fertility and death rate over the period from 1901 to 2101.  
Over the 60-year period, from 1901 to 1961, there was a considerable change in the birth rates of New Zealand. In more details, the birth rates fluctuated slightly between 20000 and 30000 during the first 40 years from 1901 to 1941 then growing exponentially to 65000 in 1961. Afterwards, the rate varied considerably from 50000 to 65000 until the present day and it is anticipated to fall slowly to 40000 in the end of the century.  
  
The death rates, meanwhile, rose gradually from 9000 to nearly 30000 in the twentieth century and maintained at over a half of the birth rates. This was followed by a period of rapid acceleration, with death in the country reaching the peak of 60000 in 2061. However, the following 4 decades is expected to have no more significant changes.  
  
Overall, the huge gap between New Zealand's birth and death rates is probably being reversed at around 2041 ever since.  
  
*
"then growing exponentially". You need a comma at this point to break the sentence. It should have been "from 1901 to 1941, and then it grew..."  
Or you can use "before" instead.  
"in the end of". There is only "at the end of sth"  
" ever since". I think it is a little bit risky because you are only discussing about the given period from 1901 to 2101.
Clarify your format. The first paragraph should have only the following summary:  
  
- Type of graph  
- Measurement indicator  
- Years covered  
- Sources of measurement  
- Trending statement  
  
You must start a new paragraph for every data comparison that you provide. It should not be made as a part of the trending statement as the aforementioned statement is one that creates the direction for the information reporting in the essay. The information presentation should have had its own paragraph starting with; "In more details..."  
  
You covered everything in the essay except the comparison where relevant. Which means, you did not notice the overlapping information that would have responded to that task requirement. You missed indicating that:  
  
*The data for birth and death has been projected to overlap at about 45 % between the years 2021 and 2041.*  
  
Such a comparison point is important in the analysis of the line graph because it shows the assumed / expected population of the people from New Zealand during that projected time period.
## obligations to paying taxes

  
  
Some people think that they should be able to keep the money they earn and do not have to pay tax.  
To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?  
  
Opinions differ as to whether residents should have the right to save their hard-earned salary and should not have an obligation in paying taxes. Personally, I strongly opposed to this statement.  
  
To start with, it's common knowledge that tax revenue is utilised to pay for the public services and facilities infrastructure such as road infrastructure or public transportation. Furthermore, there is a strong connection between tax and old age pension, unemployment benefit and other financial aids. In addition, the emergency agents are funded by state taxes. For those reasons above, I am of the opinion that each individual should have the responsibility to pay the share money to support the government.  
  
Another point to consider is the fact that the residents can reap a great number of benefits not only for each one but also for the whole society. First and foremost, tax revenue is used to spend on social welfare, which will be funded to offer access to education for children from low-income families. Therefore, this will eventually eliminate illiteracy and might shake off poverty. One more benefit is that tax is allocated to fund for the social security network. As a result, the society will be kept safe from social ills.  
  
Opponents of the above statement might argue that the amount of money, which they have kept owing to their refusal to pay tax, can become their retirement savings and they do not need the government's pension. This might be a reasonable claim on the surface, but with a great number of demerits of social issues, some need to reconsider.  
  
To summarise, I am firmly of the opinion that each resident should contribute to the social by paying tax.  
  
Please give me feedback to improve this writing task 2 essay and the band score.  
Thank you so much!
Every paragraph needs to have 3 sentences minimum in the presentation. That includes the opening and closing paraphrase. You did quite well in this essay, save for the improper formatting of the opening and closing restatements. Those always need to have at least 3 sentences in it. The opening, rephrases the original prompt, the closing, restates the discussion reasons you provided.  
  
There was just one major formatting error in this essay. You made the singular opinion essay a comparative essay by including the opposing side in the last part of your essay. Remember, this is only a 4 paragraph essay, it isn't composed of 5 paragraph like a compare and contrast essay with a personal opinion. That, is what will create a series of TA deductions in your essay. So, based on the improper formatting of the first and last paragraphs, you will receive hefty deductions already. Add to that the other deductions, such as grammar deductions:  
  
Using contractions in sentences (it's = it is)  
Overused expressions that create memorized presentations (First and foremost)  
  
You can see why your essay just might fall under a 5 band score. Not bad for a beginner right? Just remember the errors that you made in this essay and correct them. Your paragraphs fall on the longer side of the discussion but at least your information are all connected so that helped to boost your presentation and your score a lot.
## Global warming - causes and solutions

  
  
Topic title :" Global warming is one of the most serious issues that the world is facing today. What are the causes of global warming and what measures can governments and individuals take to tackle the issue? "  
  
These days , it is true that global warming is one of the biggest issues which humans are suffering today . this essay will get to the roots of the problem and purpose some feasible solution to it .  
  
It is often believed that global warming is one of the most serious issues that the world is facing today . First of all , humans are negatively effective the earth's temperature by burning fossil fuels, cutting down rain-forests. this add an enormous number of greenhouse gases into the atmosphere where heat from the sun is trapped ,Resulting in the greenhouse effect and global warming .Besides , people cutting down trees in order to build houses and infrastructure , which makes the amount of oxygen reduce because trees can absorb carbon dioxide and refresh air .  
  
However , in order to tackle the aforementioned problems, some effective measure should be taken immediately . In other words , governments need to offset carbon footprint from factories and vehicles , and promote alternatives .Also , individuals can play a part by changing their lifestyle . people awareness of using public transport such as bus , subway and soon should be raised . As a result, it can make the air fresher . Moreover , they can reduce the mount of plastic waste much as possible by using the products that are eco-friendly.  
  
In conclusion , although there are many cause leading to global warming is some simple measures should implemented to deal with issues . Additionally . governments and individuals need to make a concerted effort so that they can deal with this problem quickly and effectively.
Please remember that in the direct opinion essay, you must outline your discussion points in the first paragraph as the closing sentences of that paraphrased section. A direct question should always receive a direct response from the writer. Failure to do so will result in response formatting deductions.  
  
None of your paragraphs are properly developed. Try to present related ideas in the paragraphs that can be tied together using proper examples and reasoning sentences. You cannot present two topics that do not relate to one another and then just leave it like that. You need to create cohesiveness between the two topics using proper connecting sentences or transition sentences. Using word fillers or 2 sentences that do not really help to make a point in the essay, such as ;  
  
*"It is often believed that global warming is one of the most serious issues that the world is facing today . First of all , ..."*  
  
and,  
  
*"However , in order to tackle the aforementioned problems, some effective measure should be taken immediately . In other words ,..."*  
  
Directly open the paragraph with the topic sentence instead. That way the reader is immediately informed about what the paragraph will discuss. You can avoid using word fillers if you use the first 5 minutes of this 40 minute task to outline your discussion topics first. That way you will know exactly what you want to discuss in every paragraph, avoiding the need for for word fillers while you think of what you want to say in that section. Outlining your discussion based on:  
  
-Topic  
- Reason  
- Example  
- Supporting reasong  
  
Will always help you create a better discussion per paragraph as opposed to just typing away and hoping that the sentence will make sense. Approach this as an academic writing task. The outline is your best friend.
## spreading distorted news

  
  
In the light of social networks, it is widely acknowledged that false information is becoming disseminated. This phenomenon is likely to have detrimental influences on the public, but they can be tackled by the solutions outlined below.  
  
Several related problems can be anticipated because of disinformation. The foremost issue is the misinformation and misunderstanding among people that affects their lives. Many people take advantages of topics of universal interest and compelling evidence to make other people believe in distorted information. As a result, this will form negative ideas in their minds and they can make wrong decisions. Another pressure will include the life and mental health of people who involved rumors. Although information has not been verified, they can have to suffer criticism from public opinion. For instance, celebrities may be harassed on online social media, and targeted by insults and threats in real life.  
  
There are several actions that could be taken to eradicate the problems described. The first possible solution is to raise awareness in the community by campaigns or educational lectures. Therefore, people boycott false information and approve reliable information sources. A further step is for the government to administer strict punishments. For example, authorities should impose fines on rule violators or imprison if necessary. By doing this, offenders may learn lessons and have fewer possibilities to return to lives of crime.  
  
In conclusion, spreading distorted news will trigger consequences, and the proposed solutions must be taken to combat the effects of these issues.
Please remember to post the full prompt the next time you come here for an essay review. It will help me give a more targeted review of your work. Right now, I will just be basing my advice on the standard assumption for the direct opinion essays.  
  
Based on the format for direct opinion essays, I can say that your paraphrase is, at the most partly inaccurate. The inaccuracy comes from the lack of 2 things:  
  
- A direct response to either the reason fake news exists or, the what problems fake news causes  
- A singular solution topic presentation that will relate to the reason for fake news  
  
Both are to be presented to help outline the reasoning paragraphs of the essay. These are part of the TA requirements for the response format for this type of essay question. Without a direct response, you will lose points in the TA section.  
  
You are representing too many ideas in a single paragraph. Focus on the presentation of a single reason so that the paragraph becomes coherent. Discussing a single related solution will also add to the cohesiveness of your discussion paragraphs. These actions will result in a higher C&C scoring consideration for your essay. Your current presentation lacks clarity and a connecting discussion so you will instead, receive a mark down in the C&C section. Unless you learn to properly relate 2 topics in one paragraph using a proper connecting sentence or transition sentence in the middle of the presentation, you will always have deducted points in that scoring area.  
  
Your conclusion is incomplete as it does not have the proper 3 sentence reverse paraphrase that will conclude the essay. You must restate the topic, the reasons, and close with your suggested solutions to complete that paragraph.