dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
You not accurately delivering the paraphrase for the prompt. Examiners score down students for making exaggerated claims within the prompt paraphrase section. There are also scoring considerations applied to the accuracy of your rephrasing. So do not use claims not present in the original presentation. The original discussion indicates the word "thinking", which means, "to consider". That is different from "arguments" which means "a fact for or against a point." Since there are no facts being presented but only considerations, "arguments" is not the correct descriptive word to use.  
  
You are providing a singular point of view in this essay when the discussion requires the use of a public explanation first (discuss both points of view) and then the presentation of the personal opinion (give your opinion) after the comparison is completed. So the essay does not reflect a discussion based on the proper formatting requirements. You should understand that this type of essay requires an additional presentation on your part. You have to highlight your ability to use various pronouns in both the public and personal point of view as a part of the GRA scoring consideration. The GRA section scores your understanding of English writing rules and the proper use of English punctuation marks. These were the main problems in your current presentation.
## Essay about recidivism

  
  
*Report research suggests that the majority of criminals who were sent to prison would commit crimes when they are set free. What do you think of this case? What to be done to solve this problem?*  
  
It is suggested that ex-criminals are likely to reoffend after they are released. Personally, though I think this is a negative case, I believe there are several solutions to this issue.  
  
On the hand, there are two factors that I suppose would detrimentally affect both criminals and the public. In terms of offenders, as they continue to commit crimes, they would be more severely punished. These punishments may include years of being put behind bars, or even death sentence. This means to put an end to their lives. As for society, when these people disobey the law, they may cause serious injuries to not only properties but also humans. For example, some people often have their devices stolen, in which they store secret and important files, or there are those who get killed only because of hooliganism in the pub.  
  
On the other hand, some effective solutions can be implemented to reduce this. Firstly, instead of imposing harsh punishments on law breakers, which is only a temporary solution, the government should teach them rights from wrongs. As a result, they can themselves change their mindset and rehabilitate, which is considered a far more permanent method. Secondly, people and the government should be more open to ex-offenders. This is because if those set free find everyone discriminate against them, they are more likely to be back to their previous path. For instance, the government can encourage companies to provide more chances for after-prison people to find jobs. Thus, they are less likely to feel dispensable and can contribute more values to the public.  
  
To sum up, it is my belief that returning to the criminal path after being released is fairly a negative case. Regardless of it, there are two ways suggested above to alleviate this problem.  
  
(296 words)
In the beginnign when you put [personally, though], "though" seems to be an uneccesary filler word so I'd take it out.  
As for the second paragraph, I'm pretty sure you mean "one the ONE hand, there are two factors that would detrimentally..." The "that I suppose" is unnecessary and it doesn't sound as good because it's just filler words. You want to make it sound strong so try not to include unecessary filler words. "This means to put an end to their lives." People already know this because that's what a death sentence is. You don't have to specify what it is because it's in the word itself. " For example, ~~some~~ people ~~often~~ have their devices stolen." It'd be nice if there were statistics to backup what you're saying because it can only make your paragraph stronger.  
  
I think overall you need to cut down on the filler words and try to use less transition words. If you want to make your argument strong, you have to back it up with statistics and clear research.
## IELTS WRITING TASK 2 (Cambridge 4)

  
  
Topic:  
  
Compare the advantages and disadvantages of three of the following as  
media for communicating information. State which you consider to be the  
most effective.  
>comics  
>books  
>radio  
>television  
>film  
>theatre  
  
My essay:  
  
It is true that we have many various methods to get information nowadays. However, there are pros and cons in each way of receiving information.  
  
We can watch television and films or listen to the radio in order to get information, or simply just for entertainment. Watching television, I believe, is the most effective way to learn new information. Television programs are usually played within a short period of time and mostly with pictures or videos, so that viewers can understand better. While due to the short broadcasting time of television programs, some producers may ignore other important information of the whole story. In this way, they might mislead viewers to a different opinion.  
  
The second most effective way of accessing information is through radio. The reasons why I suggest this is that we listen to the radio while we are driving, cooking, or showering. It is definitely the easiest method to receive information. Since it is only giving audio information, it is hard to imagine sometimes. From my perspective, watching films is the least effective way, compared to the previous two methods. People need to spare a longer time, cost more energy, and pay better attention in order to watch a film; therefore, people do not watch films as often as they watch television, or listen to the radio. Nevertheless, films can carry out a huge amount of information and can be the most memorable one for the viewers.  
  
In conclusion, I believe that among all the methods of receiving information, watching television is the most effective one, following by listening to the radio and watching films.
all of the points that i mention below are just my two cents anyway. if something is wrong, please correct me.  
The reason~~s~~ why I suggest this ...  
audio information-> auditory information  
... most effective one, following by listening ...  
=> followed  
spare a longer time-> spare more time  
~~While~~  due to the short ... -> ''while'' is not needed  
  
You can use these vocabs alternatively:  
pictures or videos-> visuals and sound effects  
it is hard to imagine sometimes-> what we listen to hardly sinks in  
  
Hope that you will accomplish what you are aiming for
You should properly restate the prompt for this essay and indicate which 3 methods of communication you will be discussing. So the format should have been:  
  
*There are various forms of technological data transference. I believe that there are 3 truly advantageous communication devices. These are (indicate 3). While there are effective means of knowledge transference, there are also 3 ineffective methods. As far as I am concerned, those are (indicate 3). Let me expound on my support and non support for each method of facts sharing.*  
  
Based on the aforementioned restatement. The 3 choices for each that you make should have connected reasoning discussions within the 2 sentence discussion paragraphs. This test is looking at your ability to create coherent and cohesive responses. So the interconnected reasoning method is important in the discussion.  
  
The instruction says pick 3 of each. You are limited to only 1 per paragraph. The essay is not properly developed and does not represent the instructions properly. There is a high chance it will not pass the test.
## When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration. Do you agree or disagree?

  
  
Decisions on opting for a job are affected by several factors among which some people believe that the salary plays the most vital role. While I agree that the earnings are necessary, I have to support the idea that there are more to deciding on a career than money.  
  
On the one hand, it is essential for people to have a certain amount of money, which could help cover their basic needs. For example, we all need money to pay for our bills, staples, education, healthcare, housing; if therefore, a job could not ensure our minimum income, we would soon feel unmotivated to continue. In addition to that, if people choose a job based on non-financial factors, such as passion, interest, they will have no means to support themselves. Artists, for instance, who follow career paths that they are passionate about, hardly lead a life of comfort or raise their families.  
  
On the other hand, when deciding on a job, several factors are equally or even more important than the economic facet. Firstly, relationships and working environment are worth considering since coordinating with supportive managers, and amiable colleagues will result in employees' high levels of happiness and performance. Secondly, many people derive their sense of satisfaction from professional accomplishments, such as a set of skills and knowledge they learn, or the position they reach. Once they are sent to a higher post, their income without too much intention will be multiplied. Eventually, some people choose an occupation that helps others living in less privileged condition or contribute to society.  
  
In conclusion, even though money affects a person's decision on a job, I do not believe it is not the most vital factor.
There is actually a direct question being asked in the essay. The question that was asked is what dictates the reasoning paragraphs of the essay. It shows the path that the discussion presentation should take. The question is, do you agree or disagree? There are only 2 choices provided for your discussion response. You cannot use an agreement and a disagreement at the same time in your discussion. That is what you did when you said that you agree but support the idea that. As far as the examiner will be concerned, you just proved that you are incapable of making a clear decision and supporting it. It's either you agree or you disagree. You cannot do both. The format for this essay is not a comparison paragraph presentation. It is a single opinion defense presentation. No comparisons. You will have a difficult time reaching a passing score with this undecided type of presentation. While your discussions are clear and you have limited errors present, the fact that you did not properly format the discussion for the essay, as per the instruction requirement, will prevent this from achieving an acceptable band score.
Can you let me know which grade this essay will be? I'm the new one, thanks!  
  
Writing task 2:  
## Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems.

  
***To what extent do you agree or disagree?  
What other measures do you think might be effective?***  
  
Nowadays, increasing traffic and pollution is becoming more and more serious that make negative effects on not only our health but also our Earth. Thus, there are many solutions made, one of which is increasing the price of petrol. This is an impressive and effective way to decrease the traffic and polluted problem besides other measures such as encouraging using public transport and to work at home.  
  
Firstly, there have been a lot reasons showing that when the price of petrol is higher traffic and pollution problems are improved. If government decides to increase the petrol's price, citizens absolutely want to avoid using their car or motorbikes. Instead, they will prefer other transportation such as buses, electric motorbikes, etc. As a result, the polluted air is produced less and the traffic is decreased. Moreover, higher petrol's price will make many people hesitated before deciding to go out or not if they only owns a petrol transport, which leads to less traffic jam.  
  
However, besides increasing the petrol's price, there are a lot of different ways to make people less depend on their car or motorbike. First of all, government should think about investing in making the petrol that is good for our environment, which is a way of helping people lead a happier life. Breathing not fresh air, especially in big cities, is a potential risk to citizen's health. What's more, people should be highly recommended to use public transport or work at home instead. The development of technology open a new way for our working style.  
  
As a consequence, whatever it is increasing the price of petrol or encouraging using other transportation, it is much better if everyone can improve their knowledge and also express their concern about the traffic and pollution problems because there is nothing that is much more important than each person's attitude.
Hi there. I'm not a teacher so I unfortunately am not able to grade it. But I hope the advice below helps.  
  
This essay is rich in content. You've written over 300 words with not much irrelevant arguments.  
  
But I think you've made some fundamental grammatical errors, meaning these errors do not exist in complicated sentences, but rather, in simple ones:  
Sth doesn't 'make effects' on sth else. ...serious that **has** negative... will be better.  
There is only 'pollution problem' but not 'polluted problem', unless you want to say that a problem is somehow polluted (not literally).  
Etc etc  
  
In my opinion, good grammar is slightly more important than good content. But grammar is probably your biggest problem right now. So do try to improve in that area.
Ignore the troll named Rich Monte. His advice is irrelevant. You are not scored on the validity and effectiveness of your proposed solution. Instead, you are scored on the clarity of your explanation and the way that your solution ties the whole essay together. You are scored on the C&C (coherence and cohesiveness) of your paragraph presentation. Nothing more, nothing less.  
  
Now for the real problem of your essay. As you can see, there is a question you failed to respond to. The question was, "To what extend to you agree or disagree?" So your essay does not have a complete presentation. Your prompt restatement is missing an important score valuable sentence. So, why you focused well on your discussion reasons, you failed when it came to the discussion response.
## are laws needed to make people recycle more of their waste?

  
  
Although the new legislation can tackle a part of this situation, I do not totally agree that a recycling law is vital factor to change the public awareness of recycling.  
  
In my opinion, a new recycling law would be one possible way to let people obey the recycling obligations. While violating this law, you will give different levels of punishments. For example, people who fail to adhere to this law need to accept penalties ranging from a small fine to community services, or even going to jail for repeated offenders. These measures could encourage people to obey the recycling law. As a result, the environment would become more and more clean and waste-free for everyone by improved behaviors of homeowners.  
  
Along with legal sanctions, the government has to increase the public's awareness of their behaviors and environmental education. For example, it is an efficient way to teach children about recycling knowledges in school. Even more, the government can held a recycling activity to teach homeowners about the environmental impacts of household waste. Besides, the government can invest the money to develop recycling facilities and systems, so that waste is processed more effectively. Combing these measures becomes a long-term way to deal with recycling problems.  
  
In conclusion, making recycling law just tackle a part of recycling problems. The government needs to combine other measures to encourage people to dispose their waste more responsibility.
Your essay clocks in with lacking words in reference to the acceptable word count. The standard word count for a properly scored essay is 250 words minimum, no more than 290 words. You submitted 232 words in this essay. It is far below the required word number. Expect percentage points deductions based on the missing word count. That will have your essay start being scored at a disadvantage. Your essay already has a failing score consideration even before the other 5 errors based on spelling, grammar, clarity, and vocabulary are applied. Added together, it will be difficult for your essay to achieve a passing band score.  
  
Without the original prompt, I cannot truly assess your work in reference to prompt accuracy and response. I am in the dark as to whether your response to the question being asked is correct or not. Kindly remember to post the prompt next time. It is impossible to accurately review your work without it. I cannot go further with assessing your work at this point. I do not have any guidelines with which to compare your response and overall work with. That is what the posting of the original prompt provides.
***Scientific research should be carried out and controlled by the governments rather than private companies.***  
## Do you agree or disagree?

  
  
It is sometimes argued that scientific findings should be implemented and controlled by the authorities rather than private companies. I totally agree with this idea.  
  
Firstly, researches carried out by governments have much high quality than by private companies. Governments have sufficient equipment and human resources to do any professional research. For example, universities are organizations that have enough conditions to do research. Most universities have a lot of scientists who have experience in researching scientific works.  
  
Besides, scientific researches made by private companies are probably not exact at all times. All companies that do research do not have the same quality. There may be a lot of organizations that do not have enough conditions to carry out a research. Therefore, these organizations can bring some flawed results of their research. In addition, the aim of private companies often is profits. In some cases, in order to maximize profits, some companies tend to cut the necessary costs to implement research. This may lead to the fact that scientific research is not carried out with full steps. Therefore, there may be a blank in the results.  
  
Opposing views claim that private companies should carry out and control scientific findings is beneficial to some extent. Admittedly, private companies can make a variety of research. Moreover, private companies have more chances to make people contribute money to do research. Nevertheless, this stance fails to recognize the belief of people in the scientific research of private companies. Thus, research carried out and controlled by governments would bring better results than by companies.  
  
In conclusion, private companies can do some scientific research, but in my opinion, it is better that governments should carry out and supervise scientific research rather than cooperation.
This is only a 4 paragraph essay. It requires only 2 reasoning paragraphs. It does not require a 5 paragraph format since it is not a comparative discussion + personal opinion essay. You have over discussed the essay in a manner of speaking. Although you wrote 286 words, you neglected to correct the existing errors in grammar, clarity, and conciseness in your presentation. These errors will result in point deductions for your work in the relevant scoring sections.  
  
Limit your explanations to only one topic sentence per paragraph. It is important to keep your presentation clear and fully developed. The more topic sentences and discussions you add, the more likely you are to under develop your paragraph presentation. Something that happened in throughout your essay presentation.  
  
Unless you are asked "to what extent", you should not use an extent response to the agree.disagree question. You change the expected format for the discussion and will lose points for altering the expected response presentation. While your response is correct, it is exaggerated when there was no instruction for you to deliver the response in an exaggerated manner.  
  
Work on your paraphrase and conclusion paragraphs some more. These should have at least 3 sentences presented. Both should offer a statement of the original topic, your response to the question, and the reasons you presented. Each should be presented differently from the first version in the concluding paraphrase.
## When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration.

  
***To what extent do you agree or disagree?***  
  
Many job seekers believed that the most vital part in their career is salary level. In my opinion, I completely agree with this idea.  
One of the reason is that good standard of living is extremely important when people choose their career. Having a high-paid job allows employees to meet their basic needs such as food and accommodation. Moreover, when they are able to fulfill their basic needs, they can improve their family's health and education. When one gives the family proper health protection and education, then it definitely enhances their living standard.  
  
On top of that, you will earn more respect for getting a well-paid salary. Because when you have high salary, your job is ought to be a very respectable one. For example, an employee who made 3000 dollars a year will have more admiration in the company than the one who only made 1500 dollars a year.  
  
In conclusion, people who have a high salary job will get good standard of living and receive respect from the society. For these reasons, it is clear that money can be an important factor for many people when choosing their career.
Hi, I think your essay has many things that need to be improved.  
1. The essay is too short. 191 words is not enough for an IELTS Task 2, which requires at least 250 words.  
2. There are some grammartical and tense errors:  
- Many job seekers ~~believed~~-> believe that.. You should use present simple in this sentence, not past simple.  
- One of the ~~reason~~-> reasons  
- an employee who ~~made~~-> makes 3000..., who only ~~made~~-> makes 1500 dollars a year.  
3. it is clear that money can be an important factor ... Since you have completely agreed with the idea that money is the most important consideration, you cant say **money can be an important...** as it indicates it is not true in some cases. Instead, you should write " money is definitely an..." as it shows the confirmation.  
  
Hope my suggestions useful!
You have to rework your essay in terms of word count. The minimum word count is 250 per essay for Task 2. You wrote 191 words. That will result in a severe word count penalty / percentage deduction. Such deductions will result in a lower than average starting score for you. In fact, it will result in a failing score in the end. In this essay, you made 5 specific errors in the areas of spelling, grammar, and conciseness. So those additional errors will add to the deductions to be applied to your final score.  
  
The reason you came under the word count is simple, you did not properly paraphrase the prompt before you presented your opinion sentence. You should have had at least one more sentence in that section before your opinion was presented. Do not start your sentences with conjunctions like "because" as a connecting word, it does not serve a purpose at the start of a sentence. It is considered extremely wrong English grammar to do that. The run-on sentences and lack of 3 sentence minimum requirement will all add up, along with the less than minimum word count, to make you fail the test.