dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
Stress has been a majour for a long time affecting students seriously in many countries.Vietnam is one of those,two main problems causing stress are:Family pressure and social relationship.The best way to deal with these problem is talking and sharing their emotions to someone.  
  
Most of Vietnamese students are being over-expected by their parents but not all of them can achieve that expectation.This matter will lead these students become suffered stress from their parents.Due to the korea survey in 2015,15 percentages of high school students were committed suicide because they can not handle the pressure of the entrance test to university.Sadly,most of these Entrance test pressure is come from parents.For instance,there have a number of students wanting to please their parents by getting a great marks,great school but others trying hard in their study to get a better future,better life quality to re-paid their parents hard-work.By one way or another,family pressure is one the most reason causing student stress.  
  
Not only family but also social relationships can cause student stress,bullying is the specific recognizable signs.Sometimes students are bullied by violence but be critised by words also affect them.In Vietnam,it is common that students are critised by teachers without specific reasons.The reasons making teachers treat to students depend on their emotions.For exampe,in Vietnam,teachers are not well-paid so they need to open others class after school to earn more money,if students do not register for that course,he or she will be punished for no reason.Physical damages can be healed by time,but not the mind damages which many Vietnamese students are experencing this matter.  
  
Stress is hard to control,it is considered as a disease which can not be cured,but it might be prevented by talking and sharing other mind to another or seeing a psychologist.Communicating for a longtime,it is the best way to reduce the stress.  
  
To conclude,Vietnamese students have been suffering from stress for a long time,which also is happening in other countries.To handle this matter,people should not endure it but must share their feeling,their emotions to others.Because only sympathy can help a broken heart
There are some parts my teacher will mark. Does anyone can help me to check the grammar and make sense or not.  
**The Athletics Centre**  
  
Introduction:  
  
1. Hook  
2. Thesis statement  
3. background information  
Body:  
1. Topic sentence  
2. one direct quote and one indirect quote  
3. some fact to support my sentence  
Conclusion  
  
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Do you know there is the Athletics Centre in Georgian College? Have you got wondered is there only gym? Actually, the Athletics Centre is not only gym, but also supporting sport for fun like badminton, volleyball, basketball, indoor climbing, indoor track and so on. Moreover, as a Georgian College student, I want to write down my opinion and I believe that we have a workout at least three times a week is one of good ways to our health.  
  
First of all, I am interested in some health classes, for example,TRX which is core exercise and YOGA when I lived in Taiwan. After I noticed there are lots of fitness classes, such as TRX SPLIT, HATHA YOGA, MUSCLE, and so on in the Athletics Centre, I was excited. Especially since the fees of the strength courses is all included our tuition. "You can get the fitness schedule from the front desk or on the websites," Janice who is working the Athletics Centre of Georgian College said. After first time experience of TRX class, I realized there was different teaching method between Taiwan and Canada, for instance, Georgian College's teacher was more careful your pose than following class' schedule. It was impressed me a lot although I just went to once.  
  
Furthermore, I am also captivated by personal training. From my experience, the personal training, I can only look for in fitness lose weight and my body shape will be great. In fact, this class provides some parts to help members know their health history, fitness goals and current lifestyle. According to this way, the members might understand their specific needs. However, Janice said this option is not contained our education costs. In other words, I have to pay if I want to go to the class. Nonetheless, Janice gave me a good news about the Athletics Centre has good packs of personal training. Also, if I am student, I can get more good price than non-students.  
  
To sum up, the Athletics Centre is not only provided facilities equipment, there is still some good items over there. From my opinion, if you want to join interesting exercise classes and become healthier, but you do not know how to do that, just ask. The staff are friendly and nice. As the Athletics says "We have got all sorts of options to help you stay healthy and engaged".  
  
Thank you !!
Aha, your thesis statement needs work. I am not sure what it is you are trying to present in the statement. First you are informing the reader that there is an athletics center at the school. Then you tell the reader that you want to present your opinion about working out 3 times a week. there was no proper statement development or introduction tot he topic that could have prepared the reader for this thesis statement. In order to properly develop the thesis statement, your opening sentence and the supporting sentences need to lead up to the discussion that you wish to present in the final sentence. That is how you develop a thesis with an introductory background, then an appropriate hook for the reader.  
  
The rest of the essay seems to be just following the instructions in order to present the required elements. This means that while the paper may be technically accurate, you were unable to create an interesting research point that would interestingly support your opinion. An opinion which was never actually developed in your essay. Why do you think that it is important that students workout at the athletic center? Why 3 times a week in particular? Aside from being paid for with the tuition fee, what other reasons are there to support your claims? Who is Janice? What is her last name? Give a more detailed description for her work title and explain why we should believe anything she says.  
  
The essay can use further development and information. As of now, I have given you some reviewer points that I am sure your teacher will also bring up. I look forward to hearing your teacher's comments and revising the essay with you based upon her suggestions. Good luck with this submission.
I need help on both grammar and content review. Any response is appreciated. Thank you!  
  
Nowadays, Mathematics is a compulsory subject at every school and university. There is no doubt that it is an useful tool for human in numerous fields. In my opinion, the study of Mathematics is essential to the progress of human race.  
  
First and foremost, there is nothing replacing Mathematics in daily life. In reality, Mathematics's tools help human practise basic operations such as addition, subtraction, multiplication and division.For instance, customers and sellers can not buy anything without calculating the product's price. A large number of modern machines and facilities are invented such as ATM, credit cards, etc.. Were not to be for Mathematics, there would be no money, which leading the fact that it is extremely difficult to trade with each other. If so, human's society were similar to the one at the time when human started appearing, there were no progress.  
  
Secondly, it is true that Mathematics plays an important role in science. The marvelous appearance of numbers of Mathematics is basic principle of appearance of natural science such as Physic, Chemistry, Biology and so on. Human are bound to have difficulties carrying out complex operations without Mathematics. If Mathematics did not exist, there were no operations relating to intense of light and voice, the height of a mountain, the length of a river, the time of the Earth's orbit, the effects of the Sun and the Moon to the Earth. Thanks to Mathematics, scientists can explore the Earth and other planets. Therefore, they are able to predict what will happen exactly, human can be protected from natural disasters as well as natural harmful factors. Besides, human can have appropriate measures to reduce effects of human activities.The Eath avoid being at risk of being ruined anytime. Human's health is also improved so their qualification and ability are brought into play. Society of human race will develop more and more.  
  
Mathematics has relation with every field in human's life, affecting directly the progress of human. Imagine that society of human exist without Mathematics, it will be very terrible.
Hi, phamlethutrang99. I recommend that you revise the following sentences:  
  
(1) Were not to be for Mathematics, ...  
  
(2) The marvelous appearance of numbers of ...  
  
(3) If Mathematics did not exist, there were ...  
  
(4) Therefore, they are able to predict what will ...  
  
Overall, these are probably the most difficult sentences to read. Try shortening them without losing your message. You may also want to cut down on your use of adverbs (i.e., words that end in "ly"). Please let me know whether you have any questions.
The flow of ideas is well-done. Yet, I can still see some ways to improve the content of your essay. Concerning the prompt that asked you to write whether you agree or disagree to the question/prompt given, I might say you have violated a fundamental rule of a question. It needs a direct answer from you. Even though your idea development indicated that Mathematics is essential, you never mentioned anything about your agreement here. At least you can just say that "I do agree with... / I strongly agree... / Personally, I agree with...." to make sure to the reader that your agreement is clear since the very beginning of your essay. Therefore, the quality of the essay itself would more likely to be enhanced.  
  
Also, in the very last paragraph (sentence) of your essay, you have written "Mathematics has relation with every field in human life." . This can be considered as over-generalize an idea. I don't really think that "Mathematics has relation with EVERY FIELD" because some of them do not even need Mathematics. For instance, 'a language' doesn't have to be mathematically correct if someone wants to talk to other people as long as the message or intention of the speaker has delivered clearly.
In my opinion, the study of Mathematics is essential to the progress of human race. - I like this sentence, but in my opinion it would have been better, if you had expanded the idea. Just give reasons in the Introduction and then expand them at the following paragraphs. This will give the reader overall idea of you thoughts and what to expect.  
  
Other than that, i think it is a good idea to combine some of the sentences in paragraph 2. Few of them look, rather simple and incomplete, while others are more complicated to follow.  
  
At the end of the day, i think your essay is very good, but i will suggest to expand your sentences and ideas, while writing.
topic: **International travel has many advantages to both travelers and the country visited. Do you think advantages outweigh disadvantages?**  
  
my essay:  
  
Overseas traveling has become a norm in the last decades, delivering enormous utility to the locality and tourists. However, the equation between the advantages and disadvantages of this activity still remains controversial. Through my personal perspective, the benefits certainly outweigh the drawbacks on many aspect.  
  
On the first hand, the stream of abroad travelers has generated numerous welfares for the host country, regardless of some minor negative impacts. Obviously, due to tourism industry, the localities attracting to foreign visitors has made a great deal of income by doing different kinds of services, ranging from selling souvenirs to professional activities like accommodation fees. Although damages to native environments are certain to exist, the high income from tourism are more than enough to compensate for the environmental preservation cost. Moreover, in term of cultural preservation, many cultural heritages which are on the verge of extinction have been saved through the activity of tourism. This is a cycle in which the need for finances to preserve traditonal values are satisfied by the profits from foreign tourists, afterwards authorities feel the necessity to develop traditional cultures to appeal more people.  
  
On the second hand, both the visitors and local people feel the demand for global integration, which can be achieved easily through tourism on some aspects. By conducting abroad traveling, sightseers have the opportunity to experience interesting and valuable customs in the place they visit. In return, the local society can adapt the technology and knowledge equiped with visitors to better their standard of living. Futhermore, many industrial agreements have been established between foreign investors and local companies after the investors come and visit their potential investment targets.  
  
To sum up, although there are some trifling shortcomings from international tourism, the various plus points are definitely worth the exchange.
Six, ownership of the information and opinion that is presented in an opinion essay is very important. It shows that you have confidence in the information you are presenting and allows the examiner to estimate the degree of your comprehension skills based upon the kind of understanding and logic that you use to discuss the topic. Therefore, use of first pronoun words is of the utmost importance. Terms such as "I, me, my, mine" denote ownership of the opinions presented and would have added to your task accuracy score which by the way, currently stands at a 5.  
  
There is a problem with your cohesiveness and coherence because of the confusing statements that you made in paragraphs 2 and 3. I think something got lost in the translation of what you wanted to say from your mother tongue to English. It made the paragraphs difficult to read so I think you would not get anything higher than a 4 in it.  
  
Lexical resource is another concern for me. This is a section whose score has a direct relation to your coherence and cohesiveness score because the words or vocabulary you used ended up confusing the reader to the point where the subject of the paragraphs were lost. So my score for you in this part would be another 4.  
  
Finally, we come to grammar accuracy and range. This section is scored also in direct relation to the cohesiveness and cohesion and lexical resource. I already explained to you in the previous paragraphs about the problems of the essay so, for the final portion of scoring, I don't think that you will be able to gain more than a 5 in it. The score in this section was increased due to considerations relating to the score of 5 in the task accuracy portion.
**Edward Snowden on How We Take Back the Internet**  
  
Edward Snowden is a former National Security Agency staff who revealed confidential data to be accessed publically. His aim was to confide citizens the concealed data despite obliging the USA government to not access the privacy of internet users. While the information was employed to obtain the government's internet, they cooperated with several global companies such as google and Microsoft to transfer their user's data.  
  
Source: youtube
Lincoln, your summary statement doesn't pass muster in this case. Your title for the summary says it all "How we take back the internet". You did not present the information from Edward Snowden as to how that can be done. He specifically discusses the importance of taking back the internet, why we should value our privacy, and more importantly, how it can be taken back from those who stole our privacy online. All you present in the essay is a background of Snowden and the scandal he is embroiled in. You have not properly represented the full content of the video that is over half an hour long.  
  
Speaking of the length of the video, it is not short at all. So why is your summary so short? You most likely know that this short summary will not get you a passing grade in the actual test. It just doesn't accomplish the task properly. As I watched the video, I came across more relevant information and keywords that you did not represent in this summary. So I am not confident that you would have gotten a decent score on this essay.
**The chart below gives information about the most common sports played in New Zealand in 2002.  
  
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.  
Write at least 150 words.**  
  
***I wrote two essays following different manners. can anyone revise for me and tell me which one is better ? I will be appreciated***  
  
Ex1  
  
**The chart shows us figures about sports which was playing most popular in New Zealand in 2002.**  
  
Overall, as can be seen cricket was a sport attracted the smallest number of girls to involve in, with just about one percent. While soccer, as always, was the most favorite sport with boys.  
  
To begin with, we will start with sports which was preferred by girls rather than boy: Netball saw a strongly excess of girls' involving number compared with boys with 25 percent and one percent respectively. Swimming stood behind with 22.5 percent of girls involving in, while the figures with boys was 13 percent. There also have althtics that girls and boys gained five and four percent respectively.  
  
Then, the second group was likely sports not for girls or it required two much physically muscle: Soccer was counted 24 percent for boys and five percent for girls. Tenis and basketball have quite similar statistical number, in which boys was nine and eight percent while girls took seven percent and 5.5 percent. Especially in cricket, there saw the longest distance between boys and girls up to nine percent, in which the boys was higher with ten percent.  
  
Ex2:  
  
**The chart shows information on sports which was played most common in Newzealand in 2002.**  
  
Firstly, we consider Sports which saw not much different between two genders: Basketball and Tenis shared a quite similar pattern, where as almost 8 percent of the boys played these games while this figure of the girls was 6 percent. Athletics attracted quite a modest amount of player that almost-merely 5 percent of both the boys and the girls involved in this game.  
  
Secondly, the others which showed the deep separation between two genders. Socer and cricket was seemingly considered the sports for man in this country, this was proved respectively by the gap of 10 and 20 percent between the boys and the girls . In contrast, the girls dominated in netball and swimming that the number of girls taking part in these sports excessed the boys by 24 and 10 percent respectively.  
  
In summary, inspite of the fact that the girls have beat the boys in some sports but in the larger point of view boy still be the biggest force participating in sports
Nguyen, in my opinion, the first version better reflects the chart information. By the way, please remember to include the chart, diagram, illustration, or whatever file it is that you are basing the information on. We use it for comparison purposes with your essay. The reason that I say the first essay works better is because it covers the minimum 3 sentences per paragraph requirement for this writing task. It seems to present an accurate depiction of the (unseen) information from the chart. This is why we need that chart from you, we need to make sure the information you are presenting is accurate and does not have a different meaning from what the chart is providing. Overall, I believe that the first version would work best in an actual test setting.  
  
You should develop the confidence to present only one essay for our review in the future. That is because in an actual test setting, you will writing under a time constraint and will not have the opportunity to present two versions for the examiner to choose from. It is of the utmost importance to your final score in the actual test that you accomplish your practice tests under the same time pressure setting as the actual test. There are certain liberties, such as writing two essay versions, that will not be available to you at that time. So you need to make sure that you always get it right the first time. These practice tests are meant to help you develop that skill and confidence prior to taking the test. So always do the practice tests under actual test settings. No exceptions.
Hello, this is my correction for you  
  
about sports which ~~was~~were(remember that the subject is sports which are plural noun)  
  
sports which ~~was~~were preferred by girls rather than ~~boy~~boys(remember that the subject is sports which are plural noun)  
  
while the figures ~~with~~ on boys ~~was~~at 13 percent. There also have ~~althtics~~athletics that girls  
  
Socer and cricket ~~was~~were seemingly (remember that the subject is plural, so you must use plural verb too)  
  
thank you
I am also interested in ilets and following up so many sources "we" language is not preffered so much.  
you should avoid it and made it academic such as the figure shows, regarding the xxx rate, etc...  
  
and overall is not a great start for the first paragraph you should describe the diagram and data briefly in by giving location and date  
  
The chart below gives information about the most ...  
*The chart illustrates the information of the popular sports (x,y,x) played in New Zealand in 2002*
**America's airports are awful**  
  
After selected as the USA president, Donald Trump proved his controversy statement that American's airport left far away from other countries' airports, albeit it is tremendously right. Although the USA is the most powerful country in the world, Skytrax's data revealed that several well-knew airports such as New York JFK and Los Angeles ranked 59th and 91 the respectively in the world. Meanwhile, the best airport is Changi Airport, which has achieved such prestigious reward over the last three years.  
  
Source: economist
Lincoln, I think that you need to learn more about collocation. Your sentence structure seems quite confusing due to inappropriate collocation that you put carelessly in the summary. For instance, when you write the word "right" it is not supposed to be collocated with "tremendously". The appropriate adverbs that can be collocated with the word "right" are absolutely, dead, exactly, just, quite , almost, more or less, nearly . Apart from those lists, you cannot put ANY adverbs before the word "right". It might look simple but it becomes one of the essential grading criteria in an IELTS test.  
  
When it comes to grammatical range and accuracy, I think you have forgotten your high-school English subject about Gerund. If you still remember, your former teacher definitely said that "if you put a verb after preposition, its form will definitely change into an -ing form". For example, in your summary you wrote "After selected as..." it should be "After being selected as..." as simple as that.