dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
**Writing Task 2 - Increasing crime rate**  
  
*Each year, the crime rate increases.  
What are the causes of crime and what could be done to prevent this rise in criminal activity?*  
  
Over recent years there has been a proliferation of the level of crime around the world. This essay will examine the reasons why criminal wrongdoing increases annually and discuss several remedies people can adopt.  
  
The predominant factors resulting in the rise of the crime rate are unemployment and internet accessibility. Firstly, poverty stimulates people committing crime because they should meet their daily needs. While they do not have a job to earn money. Consequently, people end up into criminal activities where they can acquire money easily. In addition, internet accessibility makes everyone is able to access numerous information every time and everywhere, not only search positive information but also including information regarding criminal manner. It helps people to learn how to commit a crime effectively. According to CIA data. In 2013, the crime rate in all countries rose significantly to almost 40%. It is reported that easy access to internet motivates people to commit crime since they easily attain information of the ways of committing crime through video tutorials. As a result, crime cases increases every year and cannot be addressed quickly.  
  
Nevertheless, there are potential solutions to overcome these problems, or at least reduce the effects. Firstly, to create tough regulation. The authority not only should design severe punishment which gives deterrent effects to the criminals but also promise increasing the law enforcement to the suspects. Secondly, to have better education system. Education authority is required to create curriculum which educate students to use internet wisely and also build good values to the students. It aims to equip scholars with ability to distinguish between acceptable and inacceptable neighborhood.  
  
To conclude, although the increasing of criminal activities, caused by unemployment and internet accessibility. There are steps that government and educational institutions can be conducted to prevent their effects such as creating new policy and having better education system.
Hi Abrahamlinlocn, here's my suggestions for your body 1  
  
...to access numerous informations ...  
  
...not only search positive information but also including information regarding criminal manner...  
[i think you are not paralleling same pattern]  
  
According to CIA data.[change it with comma] In 2013, ....  
  
... that easy access to internet motivates...  
you can change it by : that the easiness of accessing the Internet motivates ...]  
  
...The crime cases ~~increases~~increase ...  
  
goodluck.
**Some people think that a person can never understand the culture of a country unless they speak the language  
Do you agree with this opinion?**  
  
Several people argue that someone want to understand the culture of a country should be able to speak the native language in that country. There are numerous of reasons encourage the statement.  
  
First, language is the only way people to communication each other around world. When the people unable to speak other language, it makes visitors difficult for communication and understand each other with native people. For instance, some visitors want to travel for learn about cultures in German, they should be able to speak the language of the destination country. Secondly, language represents cultures and identity of a country. To illustrate, German is the most polite language in the world which almost all of the sentences they put word such as please.  
  
However, I tremendously disagree with the statements. Firstly, nowadays spreading of information around the world makes us easy to access in the internet and to get details information about anything without exception, including cultures. A case in point, researchers can learn cultures and lifestyle of a country from the internet although they not come to the country. Secondly, a large number of translators can tell the visitors about their native cultures. For illustrate, visitors who want to visit Zimbabwe, they can hire translator to tell them about the cultures of the Zimbabwe, so visitors still can communication with native people.  
  
All in all, I tremendously disagree if a person should be able to speak to understand other cultures. In my standpoint, there are several ways to learn about cultures without speak their language.
Hi Mr. Dioba  
this is my corrections for your essay :)  
  
Several people argue that someone [ i think you need to write conjunction here 'that someone who want to... ] want to understand ...  
... only way people to ~~communication~~communicate each other around **(the)**world.  
... it makes visitors difficult *for communication and understand*[ i prefer to write : visitors difficult to communicate and to understand ] each other ...  
... visitors want to travel ~~for~~to learn about cultures ...
Hello Brother  
Let me give you some advices  
  
First, language is the only way of people  
  
When ~~the~~ people  
  
understand each other ~~with native people~~ .  
  
However, I tremendously disagree with the statements. (which statements?)  
  
... in the internet and to get details (no need to add 's') information about anything ...  
... cultures and lifestyle (add 's', cine cultures has been plural) of a country from ...  
  
Keep writing
**Over-reliance on modern technology means that people are failing to learn, or forgetting, many basic skills.  
To what extend is this true? Are people becoming so reliant on modern technology that they are no longer able to do something without it?**  
  
Advance technology such the Internet has affected modern people to rely upon the all parts in their life. In fact, some young people are omitting or forgetting to learn many basic skills particularly in housework. I personally tend to argue that it is true that modern adolescents, depending on technology such special machine are failing to take over basic skills in housework. When it comes to making a prediction, if the teenagers over-dependence on the machine to help their work such launder clothes or plates, it will create some adults who cannot conduct certain assignments without it.  
  
In general opinion, modern technology has supported many housewife to make their assignment easier and simpler. However, in order to produce many benefits, there is a consequence that a large number of children are failing to learn basic skills especially in housework. Which is because most of them over reliance on the particular equipment such washing machine than try to learn this basic skills. Due to the fact that, most of children cannot doing any house assignments.  
  
In 2012, a survey conducted by behavioral psychologists from Curtin University, Marrianne and team carried out that 50% teenagers who was born between 2000 and 2005 chose particular tools to finish their assignments in home than try to do by herself. As a result, most of them omitted to accustomed to doing a basic skill in the home such washing clothes or plates. In addition, Anna Mulberry, educational psychologist from Ohio State University, in 2013, claimed that "this condition a harmful effect which affects teenagers ability to survive onwards".  
  
Mulberry said that "if most of them do not change their behavior, I can predict that most of them will be a large number of adults who longer able to do a basic work". "It is reasonable when I argue that they will be lack of self-determination". As per Mulberry said, the adolescent's behavior which over-reliance on the special equipment such washing machine influence their capability to develop their self-determination when they are adults.  
  
Clearly, I would claim that over-dependence on the modern technology such as washing machine to support housework to be efficient and effective will affect people capacity to do basic skills especially in adolescents. Most of them are failing or forgetting to learn when they was child. Consequently, if this condition continues, they will become the adults who do not take longer ability to do something.
Quality of work is more important than appearance for certain companies. Whereas office look style is needed to support employee activities, I believe that the value of work quality is the most essential than others.  
  
Becoming employee make people must wear dress smartly such as office appearance and uniform. Office regulation encourages them to have obligation wearing suit of clothes that give neat and accordance look. It is because the assessment of work colleague is started since they look their appearance. Indonesia Development Program (IDP), one of Non-Goverment Organizations for instance. The regulation about office style for the employee in this organization, emerge because of their work relation with prominent people. As a result, the partners of this organization trust and respect to them.  
  
However, quality of work is the most crucial above the others. It is because overall assessment from job colleague will end in this part. Employees must able to give their performance besides they wear dress smartly. For example, decision for Memorandum of Understanding from other countries to IDP-NGO is based on the quality of this organization in manage International student in overseas. As a result, other countries want to make relation to work together with this group.  
  
To sum up, I think have a good looking when work is necessary. Yet, the most essential is how employee doing their job well and proof their best ability. It is recommended to them to able to adjust their condition where they must uphold their performance quality and also their appearance well.
***Some organization believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance. Discuss both these views and give you own opinion.***  
  
In decades, most companies in the world have used the formal clothes when they go to workplace. But, many organisation believe that the quality of work is more important than the employees' appearance. Personally, i think it depends on the urgency of wearing the uniform to the working place.  
  
When the employees have to interact with the customer directly, they must wear the dress smartly. The reason why it becomes important is the customer who can recognise the employees through their clothes. For the workers who use the danger equipment or working in the factory, they have to use the safety uniform to protect their body. So, i believe that uniform is made for many reasons such as to distinguish the person to their job so that they can focus on the customer.  
  
Other companies decide not to use the official clothes because they think office look can affect employees' productivity. When people feel comfortable and confident in what they wear, actually they can improve their performance of work. For instance, Telkomsel allows their employees to use casual clothes to the office but they have to bring their badge name so they can be recognised easily. I believe that their human capital management has made the right decision to make the productivity become the most important thing in their company  
  
All in all, there are many reasons that company have been made according to the look of their employee. I think, the working places decide how they have to dress.
HI, let me give some advice, perhaps useful for you.  
1.who use the danger ~~equipment~~tools or working in the factoryfield  
2.employees' ---->wrong punctuation  
3. ... to use casual clothes to the office but they have to bring their ...----> remember the punctuation. put dot before "but" and comma after that to make the sentence looks smoothly flow.  
  
4.I think, the working places decide how they have to dress.---> personally, better if you put more little explanation about what working places and the appropriate uniform.to make clearly your statement.
**Each year, the crime rate increases.  
What are the causes of crime and what could be done to prevent this rise in criminal activity?**  
  
Enhancement of crime has been attracted many parties in the world either the ruler or academician. This essay will examine the explanation why the crime rate is enhancing and suggest some ways out.  
  
Firstly, economical factor. As we see today, the condition of Indonesia whose economic slump caused much affliction for the people. For instance, in recent decades, the number of unemployment is happening everywhere, due to lack of skills or education of a person or due to very limited job opportunities. Because of these reasons, many people taking shortcuts to get money for basic needs.  
  
Secondly, socio-cultural factor. The number of disputes and killings as a result of the conflict within the community. In the social point of view, it can be seen from the jealousy because of the social status that makes a person having the low social status ready to take a serious risk by purloining car or jewelry or the looting of the shops which is owned by the rich man.  
  
Thirdly, political factor. Crimes are also not free from political interference by the state. For example, the case of Munir assassination who died on a plane on a flight to Amsterdam, Netherlands in 2004. Munir was one of human rights activist concerning to criticize the government, in particular, human right issues. The Munir murder has relevance with the intelligence works as mentioned by the judge in the court.  
  
Hence, there are several measures to address these problems. Firstly, the police role. The role of the police in combating crime that should be increased via efforts of protection to maintain security. For example, today, the police should conduct raids or checks on dangerous items such as weapons and firearms in the place of criminal potency. Secondly, the role of the state. In the fight against crime or address crime, each measure not only comes from the efforts of the police alone, but also the government should involve in maintaining security in the society.  
  
Thirdly, the role of religious leaders. For example, in recent decades, the religious leaders have a significant role to keep the peace of the world and to reduce the rate of crime. The religious leader's efforts to solve the problem of crime in Indonesia can be realized by providing education to the whole society through religious lectures.  
  
To conclude, I strongly believe although crime has increased, but there are measures to address this issue by involving a number of components. I hope the government, academician, or individual can concern the number of steps as mentioned above.
Helllo Afdhel  
Let me give you some advices  
  
As i learn in writing class. writing task 2 consist of 4 contents:  
1. Introduction  
2. Body 1  
3. Body 2  
4. Conclusion  
  
those aspects should be attempted. On your writing, you use almost 8 paragraph. it is just too much. please following your tutor instruction, in order to writing task 2 properly.  
  
Keep writing.
***The charts below show the results of a survey on happiness ratings for married and unmarried people in the US, and the effect of children on the overall ratings of married couples.  
  
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.***  
  
The bar charts give information about the level of cheerfulness in life of spouses and singles based on age groups, and how heredities influence married people's life. Overall, wed people are happier than unwed. However, the happiness ratings both of groups are not more than a half of entire survey numbers. Blissful levels of spouses who have or do not have children are almost same. However, having children more satisfy their life.  
  
Teen married couples satisfy their life with 45% of happiness level. In 30-49 years old, it decreases slightly to 44 percent. Then, in adult phase, their cheerfulness level experience a bottom at 40%. However, it increases again in over 65 years old to 44 percent. The percentage of singles' happiness ratings in 18-64 years old stands between 21 and 22. Then in old un-married persons' satisfaction reach a top at 34%.  
  
The percentages of happiness level of spouses who have teen children exist at 44. Then, it fall to 40 percent in wed people who have children aged more than 18. However, it goes up to 43% in couples who do not have heredities. 185w  
  
*   
*Happiness Level Married and unmarried people*
*   
*Happiness Level of Heredities*
**The charts below show the results of a survey on happiness rating for married and unmarried people in the US, and the effect of children on the overall ratings of married couples. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.**  
  
The bar charts give information about the percentage of happiness which come from married and unmarried people according to ages and the rate of happiness from married couple according to having children. Overall, married couples are twice the rate of happiness than unmarried couple. Although, between having and not having children in every age of married couples do not affect their happiness  
  
According to ages, the average rate of married couples' happiness is around 44 percent. In contrast, people in 15-64 years old group are around 21 percent of happiness even they do not have marital status. Over 65 years old, unmarried people get happiness which is 34 percent. But, most people in the US feel the happiness under 50 percent.  
  
Children is a happiness factor for married couple. But, having or not having children is a slight difference. Children under 18 years old make couples happy in 44 percent. Having no children which is 43 percent brings happiness to married couple and children in 18 ages is the lowest percentage which is 41 percent makes their parents happy  
  
*   
*married and unmarrried people*
*   
*married couples*
Hi Miss Ifra.  
These are my thoughts towards your writing. Please, meet my notes and review them.  
GOOD LUCK  
^\_^  
  
... people according to age~~s~~ GROUPS and the rate of (...) having children AND NOT. Overall, married couples **are twice the rate***(Please, avoid the detailed information in the overview.)*of happiness than unmarried couple.  
  
I am gonna offer the alternative overview:  
"OVERALL, IT CAN BE SEEN THAT THERE IS A CIRCUMSTANCE A MARRIED COUPLE FEELS HAPPIER THAN AN UNMARRIED PERSON. FURTHERMORE, THE NUMBER OF CHILDREN DOES NOT IMPACT SIGNIFICANTLY ON PARENTS' HAPPINESS."  
  
According to ~~ages~~ CLUSTERS BASED ON AGE, the average rate ...  
... people get happiness ~~which is~~ AT 34 percent. ~~But~~ HOWEVER, most people GENERALLY in the US feel the happiness, REPRESENTING AT under ~~50 percent~~ A HALF (You should make it more various) OF MAXIMUM SCALA GIVEN.  
  
... factor for THE married couple. ~~But~~ NEVERTHELESS (Miss, here you need a transitive word. "but" is the conjunction), having or not having ...  
... which is AT 43 percent brings happiness ~~to~~ FOR THE married couple,*(Don't put a comma if those have different subjcts)* and children in 18 ages is the lowest percentage ~~which is~~ AT 41 percent ~~makes~~ , MAKING their parents happy
Hi Ifra, below are my suggestions to enhance your analysis essay;  
  
- ~~which~~that came~~come~~ from married  
- married couple ~~according to having~~with children and those without .  
- Overall, married couples experience~~are~~ twice  
- married couples, this does not affect their happiness  
  
- ~~In contrast~~On the contrary ,  
- even if they ~~do not have marital status~~are single .  
- Over 65 years old, unmarried people ~~get happiness which is~~are happy at 34 percent.  
- ~~But~~However , most people in the US  
- feel ~~the~~that happiness is under 50 percent.  
  
There you have it Ifra, I hope the above remarks are helpful to your revision, I made the first 2 paragraphs and I left the last one so you can try to edit it yourself, following the above modifications.
**Each year, the crime rate increases.  
What are the causes of crime and what could be done to prevent this rise in criminal activity?**  
  
In specific countries of the world criminality still a big issue. The fact showed that the crime rate increases annually, this essay will discuss several possible factors which triggered crime rate and the best action to prevent criminal activity.  
  
There are several potential factors which feed criminal rate. The first factors are poverty. In specific place where poor people lives such as slump and prostitution area, criminality can be occurred anytime. People who do not have money to buy daily basis goods have a bigger tendency to do crime. As the result, poor people usually take illegal action such as pickpocket, burglary, and robbery as a shortcut to get money. Not only this, lack of education also takes important factors. Uneducated people have small chance to get well paid job. As the result, they have a bigger chance to fall on crime. Finally, lack of government control also increases an opportunity to do crime.  
  
In terms of solutions, I believe that government and individuals should work together to prevent criminal activity. Government should recovery slump and prostitution the area to beneficial public facility such as library and public park. As the the result, criminal who usually hide in such places will difficult to find a place to live. Individuals should take a the role as social control agent. People should report their neighbor if they commit a criminal action.  
  
All in all, there is a several problem related to criminal activity. To solve this problem, government and citizen must work together to tackle this issue.
There is a long week in politic. Today, protest wave in Venezuela is happening dramatically. On account of in the fact that they contra with the president and want to impeach him from his position. After congress debate in parliament, demonstrators surround the National Assembly building and situation has high tension in October 27th 2016. Some opposition lawmakers claim they get violence from military who support the incumbent authority. The demonstrators claim the incumbent Venezuela's president, Nicolas Maduro is a new dictator in modern era. Moreover, they say about inflation of economic index, free-falling of economy, lack of food stock, and also for medicine and good stuff are rarely in that country. The majority of opposition said Maduro was not the legacy of the former President, Hugo Chaves. They, furthermore, said Maduro was brought that country far cry from initial tracks. This congressional debate is important taking into the consideration on the fact that in this parliament the new brand of Venezuela will kick off. Either parliament want to impeach the president or not.
Hi Alfa..  
Actually, your summary is a good job. However, let me finalize this.  
GOOD LUCK  
^\_^  
  
~~Today~~ THESE DAYS, protest wave in Venezuela ...  
... National Assembly building,(Don't forget to put a comma if those are different subjects) and THAT situation has A high tension in ...  
... they get violence from THE military who support ...  
... Nicolas Maduro is ~~a~~ THE new dictator in THE modern era. Moreover, they ~~say~~ SAID about inflation (...) free-falling of THE economy, lack of food (...) and good stuff ~~are~~(Actually, here is a conjunction, but I reduce it) rarely in that country. The majority of oppositionS said Maduro ...  
  
They, furthermore, said Maduro was brought that country far cry from initial tracks(you should rewrite this sentence because readers get difficult to acquire your point) . This congressional debate is important ~~taking~~ SINCE IT TAKES into the consideration BASED on the fact ...  
  
Either parliament wantS to impeach the president or not.