dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
Sydney, then by all means, reflect that personal opinion in your essay. Discussing it by referencing personal experience can only make the essay better. That will show that you have a deep understanding and relationship to the prompt. By expressing your personal opinion, you will find it is much easier to defend your stand within the overall context of the essay.  
  
For example, you can present the same discussion that you presented above to me. Reformatted, that sentiment can become your opening statement. It already includes the reasons you agree with the statement. So your succeeding paragraphs will just need to concentrate on discussing each reason you gave on an individual paragraph basis. At that rate, I am sure you will also be able to come up with an impressive concluding statement.
**Task 1 IELTS; Japan's Population; Past, Present and Future Trends**  
  
The chart and table show the condition of Japan's population in the past, present and future the condition of Japan's population. Overall, it can be seen that the population trend increased gradually in every 5 years since 1950 until 2005. However, in 2010-215, there was slight decrease and predicted continually will be downward until 2055 which the elder people who are over 65s will be the highest one compare with other given years.  
  
There was a gradual rise of Japan's population from 84.1 up to 127.8 since 1950 to 2010 respectively. Then, its number declined slowly down to 125.4 million in 2015. This population predicted will drop dramatically in 2055 by the number will be 89.9 million people.  
  
On the other side, 1950 saw the smallest number of population of the people who were aged over 65 years, it was under one in twenty of the total population. The proportion of this classification continually increased until its prediction in 2055 as well. It is obvious that 25.7 million of elder people population were a fifth of the total population in 2005. Then, 2035 will take a portion for over two-fifths of the total population.
Hey Ahmad, I noticed a few grammatical errors here and there.  
  
1. Replace "in every five years" with "every five years"  
2. 2015, not 215  
3. The third sentence is very confusing. Change "compare" to "compared." Again I'm not sure I even understand the phrase "there was slight decrease and predicted continually will be downward." I think you meant "there was slight decrease and was predicted to continually be downward."  
  
4. 84.1*million* and 127.8*million*
**Person I admire**  
  
Probably, it is common to admire own mother, however, she is the right person I chose for this article.  
  
Everyone always has a person to admire. For instance it is a successful businessman or famous actor. And what is the main reason? They support us greatly, they show us the proper way of life... And yes, they are often on first pages on tabloid magazines. My mother has the same effect on me, in spite of not being world known person as actors and businessmen are.  
  
I don't want write about her appearance or her usual behaviour. In the next lines I am going to explain few her good deeds she has done to me and which influenced me a lot.  
  
When I was at elementary school I was bullied by older schoolmates. There were times that I hate everyone around me, except my mother and father. I have cried so many tears and felt so alone. The names they called me, they hurt real bad. I came to school and didn't want to fight, but I wanted to learn... And do you know what happened? My mum showed them the rules of law. I was extremely grateful and sure I can count on her whenever I need. It was many years ago, but how it is nowadays? She has always energy to clean the whole house after exhausting working hours, but I don't admire her due to this enthusiasm. Continue reading...  
  
Regardless of I am 17 years, only now I am realizing, that she taught me to keep moving even though I'm close to giving up. I am type of person, who can not stand waiting for some proper moment. Easily say I am eager. She ranks among people I trust as much as I can, despite our usual struggles. In the last two years, we made a huge progress in communication. To tell the truth, I take her into my confidence these days.  
  
My final sentence is quite unexpected. I don't want to miss her.
Hi Varlamow.  
  
I have some comments about your writing :  
  
1. it is common to admire **our** own mother --> add "own" to make your statement more clear.  
2.There were times that I hate everyone around me, ... --> Maybe you can use this option "At that time, I hate everyone around me, except my mother and my father"  
  
3. I ~~have~~ cried so many tears ...--> You should use "had" because you describe about your pas event.  
4. I am type of person ~~,~~ who ~~can not~~ (cannot) stand waiting for ...
The given chart gives the information about how much of time the people spend to sleep and awake regarding five different occupations in an entire day. Overall, it can be seen that the people who work as a doctor have the least sleep times.  
  
Turning first to the doctor, during 24 hours, the doctor only allocates their five hours to sleep, namely at 1 until 7 a.m. which they wake an hour between 3 and 4 a.m. Then, it followed by people who have a job to be a truck driver and business executive which for these jobs need an hour longer than the doctor. Yet, there is the differentiation of schedule between both of them. As the business executive, their five hours of sleep they perform at 11 p.m. until 5 a.m. sequentially. Interestingly, the people job as a truck driver has the varied bedtime which sleeps an hour at 6 p.m. and wakes for twelve hours before they start to sleep for three hours at 7-10 a.m. and their last two hours at 4-6 p.m.  
  
In addition, the occupations which have the opportunity to sleep longer are the student and housewife. Anyone who has these statuses sleeps for eight hours. However, the student starts sleeping at 11 p.m. until 7 a.m. sequentially, while as a full-time mother starts sleeping an hour earlier than student during the first three hours. Furthermore, they continue to have a sleep for three hours at 3-6 a.m. before they sleep again at 1-3 p.m. after they wake for seven hours to do their job.
Hai.AhmadNashran  
  
I have some comments about your writing :  
  
1. ... who have a job ~~to be~~ a truck driver ... --> "as" is proper word related to your sentence context.  
2. Interestingly, the people ~~job as a~~ truck driver ~~has~~ --> The sentence structure is not appropriate. Here is my suggestion "the people with job as truck driver" or "the people who work as truck driver". After that, "has" should changed with "have" because the people is plural form.  
  
3. starts ~~sleeping~~ an hour earlier --> "start to sleep for an hour"
***The bar chart below shows shares of expenditures for five major categories in The United States, Canada, the United Kingdom, and Japan in the year 2009.***  
  
The given bar chart indicates the amount of expenses spent on five common daily need categories in four different countries in 2009. It is measured by percentage. At a glance, apart from Japan, all figures contribute their shares to housing meanwhile health care and clothing seized the least earnings.  
  
The data shows that American, Canadian and British spent their money mostly on housing where in United States people contributed over a quarter of their money and were the major contributor whereas in United Kingdom and Canada, the societies contributed approximately 24% and 21% respectively. By contrast, Japanese spent their money only 22% for housing but 23% on food. Next, transportation and food run after housing where except Japan in food, all countries' expenses did not reach over 20%.  
  
Furthermore, all figures agreed to place clothing and health care on the last part of their expenditures. American, Canadian, British and Japanese averagely contributed their money not more than 6% on clothing. Besides, the same case also faced by health care category as people in United States spent only 7%, while in Canada, United Kingdom and also Japan, people's share did not even touch 5%. **(193 words)**  
  
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Hai Hujjatul19  
  
I have some comments about your writing :  
  
The data shows that American, Canadian [...] 24% and 21% respectively. :  
1. You write too many words in a sentence. As I know, a sentence ideally consists of ten to fifteen words. As my suggestion, you should divide those words into several sentence.  
  
2. where inUnited States people --> "in" is a preposition and it is referred to place. "United States people" sounds weird. You can use "American" instead of "United States people".  
  
Thanks.
***The chart and table below give information about population figures in Japan.***  
  
The bar graph gives the information about the growth of Japan's population between 1950 and 2055, while the table reveals the proportion of elderly Japanese population during the same period, calculated by millions. Overall, it is really important to notice that the Japan's population growth increased slightly and a similar trend will appear in the elderly population growth in Japan.  
  
The Japan's population has appeared continuous growth since 1950. It is immediately obvious that the population grew slowly from 84.1 million to 127.8 million people until 2005 before falling down slightly by 2.4 million people in 2015. The growth rate will be expected to decline dramatically to 89.9 million in the next 40 years.  
  
Similarly, this trend experienced in elderly people in Japan. Initially, the proportion of Japanese over-65s had 4.1 million or 4.9% of total population. In the next following years, a dramatic rise occurred in this aged group with 25.7 million people or a fifth of total population in 2005. In the next twenty-year period, the population of elderly people in Japan will be predicted to rise at 37.2 million or 34% of total population in 2035. By contrast, although the population will decline by 700,000 people in 2055, the percentage of total population will incline at 41%. **(210 words)**  
  
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***The bar chart below shows shares of expenditures for five major categories in The United States, Canada, the United Kingdom, and Japan in the year 2009.***  
  
The presented bar chart shows the percentage of consumers in four different countries spend their money on food, housing, transportation, health care, and clothing in 2009. It is clearly seen that the housing is highest share of expenditure by three countries except Japan. While Britain consumers are the lowest percentage in spending money on health care.  
  
United States was the highest percentage of country that spent their money on housing with 26 per cent. Followed by United Kingdom 24 per cent and Canada 21 per cent. Japanese' expenditure for housing was 22 per cent, 1 per cent lower than their outcome in food.  
  
Share expenditure for food, Japan indicated 23 per cent, United Kingdom was 3 % lower than Japan, the Canada and United States was mainly were almost the same with 15 % and 14 % respectively.  
  
Money spent on transportation illustrated that Canada was 20% as the highest percentage. The second place was 18 per cent Americans. Britons was three per cent lower than American. In the last position for transportation expenditure was Japanese people with 10 per cent.  
  
In contrast, the consumers of four different countries show the lowest shares of expenditure on health care and clothing. In health care, United States (8 %), Canada and Japan (9%), and United Kingdom (2%). Different from heath care, the percentage of spending money on clothing, all selected countries were almost the same, 6% by Canadians, 5.5% by Britain people, 4.5% by Japans people, and American was 0.5% lower than Japanese.  
  
*
hai there are some feedback for you  
  
... that the housing is **the**highest share of (...) countries except **for** Japan.  
  
**The** United States was the ...  
Followed by United Kingdom 24**percent**and Canada 21 **percent**. Japanese' expenditure for housing was 22 **percent**, 1 **percent** lower than ...  
... Canada and United States ~~was~~ mainly were  
  
... by Britain people, 4.5% ~~by~~ of Japans people
**Task 1 IELTS; Average Distance in Miles Travelled per Person per year**  
  
The table gives the information about how far the average people travelled by two different ways; walking and driving a car, between 1985 and 2000, it measured by miles. Overall, at the first glance, it is evident that the farthest distance that travelled by mean persons were using a car in both of years. In the event that it is compared with by walking, they were the significant gap.  
  
In 1985, people travelled further by driving a car in average 3,199 miles. This interval was getting far more and more approximately more than 1000 miles in 2000. It shows that there was a significant increase for people did travel by driving a car.  
  
On the other hand, on the occasion of the people walked, the average length reached only 255 miles per person per year in 1985. However, when it came to 2000, the distance travelled by average people who walked decreased slightly down to 237 miles.
Hi @AhmadNashran,  
  
Here some corrections on your writing task 1:  
  
... the information about ~~how far~~ the average of how far people travelled (...) between 1985 and 2000, ~~it~~with measured by miles.  
... using a car in both ~~of~~ years. In the event, ~~that~~ it is compared with ...  
  
... occasion of the people ~~walked~~by walking , the average length ...
***The table below shows the number of medals won by the top ten countries in the London 2012 Olympic Games.***  
  
The presented table give information about the number of gold, silver, and bronze medals earned by the top ten countries in London Olympic Games that was conducted in 2010. As the table presented, USA won the greatest medals in total, than Hungary had the least medals than other top ten countries.  
  
United States of America was the most successful country with the total number of medals was 104. Besides, United States also had the greatest gold medals than other countries. In the second rank was China with total number of medals was 88 and 38 golds. Followed by Great Britain and Russia with 29 and 24 gold medals.  
  
There was a significant gap among South Korea, Germany, France, Italy, Hungary, Australia which earn no more than 15 gold medals. However, 13 golds by South Korea, 19 silvers by Germany, 12 bronzes by France, 11 of bronze by Italy, 8 of gold by Hungary, and 16 silvers by Australia as the greatest medals that they got in Olympic Games 2010 in London  
  
*
***The pie charts below show the average household expenditures in a country in 1950 and 2010.  
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.***  
The given pie charts compare household's basic needs expenses between 1950 and 2010. The data is measured by percentage. At a glance, money spent on housing and education experienced a significant drop while other figures increased significantly.  
  
In 1950, expenses contributed mostly on housing where it took almost three fourth of the overall expenditures. It then followed by food that pulled 11.2% and education needs seized 6.6%. Whereas, 60 years later, the massive differences came from housing and education needs where they fell to 22% and 6.3% respectively.  
  
Moreover, other figures such as health care, transportation and other that took only 2.4%, 3.3% and 4.4% respectively in 1950 improved noticeably. The expenditures of food rose over threefold increase to 34% and it then dominated the household expenses in 2010. Besides, healthcare experienced double improvement compared to 60 years ago. Next, transportation and other inclined considerably as well to 14% and 19.2% each figure.  
  
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***The table below shows the number of medals won by the top ten countries in the London 2012 Olympic Games.***  
  
The presented table gives information about medals quantity that was obtained by top ten countries in the London 2012 Olympic Games. The rank was determined by the number of achieved gold medal. At a glance, gold and silver medals won mostly by United States thus it placed the first rank on this event.  
  
The data shows that by 104 total medals achieved by United States, there were 46 gold medals, 29 silver and the rest was bronze. The second and third positions were taken by China and Great Britain as they owned 38 and 29 gold medals. Even though Russia showed its power by holding the highest number of bronze, it still came after China and Great Britain since it only won 24 gold medals. Besides, South Korea saved the fifth ranking as it possessed 13 gold medals.  
  
With 11 gold medals, Germany and France placed the sixth and seventh rank on this event. The same case was also faced by Italy and Hungary as both of them won 8. Then the last placed was stolen by Australia who obtained 7 gold medals.  
  
*
Hi Hujjatul19, here I have some suggestions for your writing  
  
... information about medal~~s~~(as I know, there is no plural pattern in modifier) quantit~~y~~ies that ~~was~~were obtained by top ten ...  
  
... and silver medals were won mostly by the United States thus ...  
  
... there were 46 golden(adjective form) medals, 29 silver medals and the rest was bronze medals  
  
... since it only won 24 golden medals
The breakdown information reveals the number of foreign tourists that traveling abroad in 1985 and 1995 measured by million. The overseas tourists are from Japan, Australia, and Canada. Overall, it can be seen that Japan was the nation that had wide gap while Australia only had a narrow gap in time frame.  
  
Turning to the detail, in early year, Japan and Australia had increase number of people that went to another country. Japan had enormously jumped to 15.1 million in 1995. It was threefold from the former year that only at 4.9 million. Similarly, Australia had very slight increase from 7.1 million to 7.2 million in 1985 and 1995 respectively. Moreover, there were only one million tourists in its alteration along a decade.  
  
Furthermore, Canada had a significant drop at the end of period. In 1985, the proportion of Canada at 6 million tourists and declined to 5.5 million people who travel abroad. The gap in 10-year period was 5 million holiday-maker.  
  
**(161 words)**  
  
*
***The chart below shows the sleep patterns of people in five different occupations according to a Canadian study.***  
  
The given table illustrates the scheme of sleep five different occupations according to Canadian study. Overall, truck driver, full-time mother and doctor have a rough pattern of sleep that they still awake have a rough pattern of sleep that they still awake whereas other individuals normally sleep fairly from 10 p.m. until 7 a.m.  
  
A Canadian study reveals that doctor only has five hours sleep a day start from 1 a.m. to 7 a.m. and divided by short awake at 3 a.m. This may be because she or he must face emergencies call. Full-time mothers have a normal eight-hour portion of sleep basically; nevertheless two hours sleep at 1 a.m. until 3 a.m. must change into at 1 a.m. until 3 p.m. It probably they have to be awoken for comforting their babies. Surprisingly, truck drivers have a tough schedule of sleep; they only sleep at 7 a.m. until 10 a.m. and from 4 p.m. to 7 p.m. in a day.  
  
In contrast with other former occupations, students have an ordinary time sleep, it starts 11 p.m. to 7 a.m.; similarly, the business executive begin their rest from 11 p.m. until 5a.m. They have less 2-hour sleep instead of the former job.  
  
**(192 words)**  
  
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***The graphs below provide information on global population figures and figures for urban populations in different world regions.***  
  
The line graph and bars-chart give information about global population rates and the average number of urban population in different world areas. Overall, the global population would continue to rise gradually until over around four decades and the majority of the people would be living in developing countries, while the people lived in the developed countries indicated will be stable as the previous periods-situation.  
  
According to the given data, the number of people in the world stood at 1 billion in the first period, 1800. Then, there is a gradual increase of population from the first period to almost one and a half century and then rise sharply reaching the top point approximately 8 billion after a century. After over a half century, the trend experiences a sharp decline until reaching 6 billion points.  
  
Furthermore, developing countries has a huge number of rate population globally, while develop countries are stable during 35 years. A population number of developing countries increased gradually over three decades, from 2015 to 2040. (169 words)  
  
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Hi asmaraj96. Here are my suggestions for you.  
  
1. The line graph and bars-chart give information about global population rates ...  
(you should write the years in this paragraph -- the range of years covered in the charts) .  
  
2. Furthermore, developing countries ~~has~~will be predicted to have a huge number (...) while ~~develop~~developed countries are stable during 35 years  
(you can write down the data of the number of people staying at developed country which remains at ) .  
  
I hope it can be useful for you.  
Goodluck.
Then, there ~~is~~(was) a gradual increase (...) one and a half centur~~y~~ies and then will rise sharply reaching ...  
After over a half- century, the trend predicted will experience~~s~~ a sharp decline ~~until reaching~~which will reach until 6 billion points.  
  
Furthermore, developing countries predicted will~~has~~(have) a huge number of rate populations globally, while develop countries ~~are~~will be stable during 35 years.  
... of developing countries will increase~~d~~ gradually over ...  
*According to the picture, the given time are past and future. in my opinion, you have to divide them which the past and future pattern are. and pay attention with the quantifier noun agreement.*
***The chart below shows the sleep patterns of people in five different occupations according to a Canadian study.***  
  
The table gives the information about the differences in sleep patterns regarding individual's occupations in a Canadian study. The data are divided into five occupations: student, truck driver, full-time mother, business executive, and doctor. Overall, it is immediately obvious that the type of occupations influence the pattern of people to sleep.  
  
It is noticeable that all occupations have an average time to sleep around 6-hour period every day. We can see that student and business executive tend to spend their leisure time to sleep for 8 hours (from 11 p.m. to 7 a.m.) and 6 hours (from 11 a.m. to 5 a.m.) respectively. This may occur because their main activities take in normal daylight hours.  
  
On the other hand, truck drivers tend to two three-hour period, from 7 a.m. to 10 a.m. and 4 p.m. to 7 p.m.). This may be because their jobs force them to drive trucks in long period at daylight hours. Interestingly, full-time mothers have 8 hours to sleep, separated by three periods. They tend to sleep from 10 p.m. and be awoken at 1 a.m. to check their babies for a couple of hours before going back to bed at 3 a.m. and getting from bed at 6 a.m., while they will continue to sleep between 1 p.m. and 3 p.m. More broadly, the smallest amount of sleeping time is doctor which has only five hours from 1 a.m. to 7 a.m. and tends to wake up in the middle of the night at 3-4 a.m. owing to emergency. **(254 words)**  
  
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Hi Abul, it is completely understandable report  
  
This may occur because their main activities take in normal daylight hours.  
**individual opinion should not be added**  
  
... truck drivers tend to **have** two three-hour period...  
  
This may be because their jobs force them to drive trucks in long period at daylight hours  
to check their babies for a couple of hours  
owing to emergency.  
**individual opinion should not be added**  
  
Best regards