dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
Hi there, I found some grammar, active/passive voice, subject/object missing, singular/plural mistakes and incorrect use of tenses. Here are my corrections:  
  
Communication has been related with media ...  
  
...media publishing cannot ~~separate~~be separated from printing press  
  
...make it easier in every particular ...  
  
...all of these things ~~had evolution~~have evolved rapidly.  
  
...where people stuck in hard situations caused by a range of possibilities that is available on their situations .  
  
...people should be able to find ~~out~~ their own ways of (solving, dealing with) their problems ...  
  
I hope this helps. Have a good day!
Hi there,  
As far I concern, there are some grammatical issues in your summary. I suggest you to vary your vicabularies. Let me give examples,  
  
-Communication has RELATED WITH media and collective action. ( it must be RELATED TO)  
-Media comes from several SHAPES that had been supported by (...) commerce, education and ANOTHER ONE. ( I think the word SHAPE in the sentence above is not suitable and ANOTHER ONE, you can change it into OTHERS or MANY MORE ) Your sentence should be = there are several sources of media which support by internet....
The biggest issue for our democracy is how we reduce terrors without sacrificing and violating a human's right. Rebecca MacKinnon became several workers in journalist, researchers etc, she concluded that our democracy do not double down on securing and defending human rights.  
  
Take Tunisia as the example, It was a succesfull country to revolute to be democracy country but five years after that, they got serious invasion by ISIS recruitment and the citizens ask the governement to take them safe with everything. Iyad el-Bagdhadu, an activist who make a joke of ISIS on Twitter and he got his account suspended because he shared about the leader of ISIS.  
  
So, these social network companies has a vital role to discourse the public. They have to fix this problems to avoid inadequate way of people see now in the particular media. They need to be tranparrant to the Users about their mechanism. Rebecca believes that, finally, we can tackle the cutting-edge empowered network of extrimist to be more peaceful world in the future.
*there are still some similarities between your work and the source vocabulary that mean you still need to show efforts in how you make summary by relying and enhancing your lexical resource.*  
  
Rebecca MacKinnon became several workers in journalist, researchers etc  
*wrong and confusing statement. by your writing, reader may grasp that what you mean is that Rebecca had worked on several profession before. in fact, what she mean on her speech is that she has worked with many people with different occupation background*  
  
our democracy do not double down on securing and defending human rights.  
**completely same words with the source. what you did can not classified as summarizing. you only copy paste several important facts without even change the words. this will not build your writing and reading comprehension**  
  
the same case happened at the rest of your writing. Thus, there is no importance for me to give feedback on yours since i can conclude that this writing is not yours.  
  
by reading, paraphrasing, and summarizing, you will have a chance to enhance your reading and writing skill at the same time. unfortunately, you just miss the opportunity. good luck
**TED SUMMARY 4 - PROCRASTINATION by Tim Urban**  
  
A writer blogger became a speaker on TED VIDEO, he talked about what happens within a procrastinator's brain and a rational decision maker's brain, called Tim Urban, explained that there are two kinds of procrastinators in the world, those are someone who procrastinates something until the deadline times comes closer and someone who postpones something for a long time because there is no a deadline for the thing he is delayed in life. A large number of characteristics of a procrastinator can be clearly seen in his brain, such as enjoy a pastime, adore something easy and fun, do something unproductive, and has an instant gratification style. The procrastinators like to delay the assignment until the deadline time comes closer. On contrary, the rational decision maker always makes sense to be doing thing at the time, good in drawing his future in detail, able to visualize his long plan in the long run clearly, and always urge himself to complete a task before the time. Based on what Urban said that a non-procrastinator does not exist in the world, everybody is a procrastinator of something in life.
Hello Rosa,  
  
he [you should mention before the speaker male or female than you write he or she after mentioned it] talked about what happens ...  
  
that there [double conjuction I thing] there are two kinds of ...  
  
.., do something unproductive, and ~~has~~ an instant gratification style.  
  
On contrary [I think word, "on contrary" when speaker negative explanation, I think better in contrary], the rational decision maker ...  
  
hope these help
Let me help you and give you some suggestions:  
  
1. ... until the deadline time ~~comes closer~~ Repetition, you can change it into "runs out " or you can make a slightly different sentence like this "The procrastinators like to delay the assignment until they run out of the deadline ".  
  
2. ... able to visualize his ~~long plan~~plans in the long run clearly, and always ~~argue~~argues (subject verb agreement ) himself to complete a task before the time.
A writer blogger became a speaker on TED VIDEO, he talked ...  
**extremely complex and complicated to force it becomes only a sentence**  
you may write:  
*A write blogger who became a speaker on TED VIDEO talked about what happens within a procrastinator's brain and a rational decision maker's brain. Tim Urban, what he called, explained that there are two kinds of procrastinators in the world.  
  
Those are someone who procrastinates something until the deadline times comes closer and someone who postpones something for a long time because there is no a deadline for the thing he is delayed in life.*this style of writing would not reduce the quality of your work while those sentences are still in complex form. indeed, it makes your writing easier to comprehend. this is what matter in effective communication  
  
A large number of ~~characteristics of a procrastinator~~procrastinator's characteristics can be clearly seen in his brain, such as a tendency to enjoy a pastime, .......  
  
The procrastinators [*repetitive. instead of looking for synonym of certain words to avoid repetition, you may simply just mention its definition]* like to delay ......
Causes of death, people need revolution for make them healthy like usual. Food revolution need for better future, because of the food many teenagers suffer an obesity. It made them cannot go anywhere. In addition, there is a massive problem that many places provide fast food. For example, the food like pizza. The food is not fresh, because of the time many student eating non-healthy foods at every time which are early morning, afternoon and night. Many children do not know about kinds of vegetables and fruit. They can be taught from home or school. Small children should drink two bottles of milk before going to school. There are some materials that are worse as much sugar in there. There are other foods that contain much sugar. Sugar can effect longer if children always drink it, just form milk the impact for the future become dangerous. People need fresh foods with dishes made from home. While, with the help of government by limiting refined products fast food, it would be good for the future.
Causes of death, people need a revolution for ~~make~~making them healthy as like usual. F  
... because of the food, many teenagers suffer an obesity. ~~It made them cannot go anywhere~~they cannot go everywhere because of it ..  
For example, the food asas like pizza. The food is not in fresh condition , because of the time many student ~~eating~~eat non-healthy foods ~~at~~ every time ~~which are early~~such asin the morning, afternoon and night.  
  
... of vegetables and fruits .  
~~Small children~~juvenile should drink two ...  
There are some materials that ~~are~~ worse as much sugar in there.  
Sugar It can effect longer if children always drink it, just ~~form~~from milk the impact ...  
While~~,~~ with the help of government by limiting ...  
  
hi @ andika08  
that's all my advices for you.
Hey Andika  
You have done a great job in writing, but there are some corrections for your essay:  
  
Causesing death, people need revolution for ~~make them healthy like usual~~ (simplify by saying "To keep them healthy" ). Food revolution need for better future (This sentence should be in passive form "Food revolution is required for better future" ), because of the food, many teenagers ...  
  
It made a(avoid repetition) them cannot go anywhere.  
..., because ~~of~~ ()because of must be folllowed by noun ord noun phrase the time many student eating ~~non-~~un healthy foods ~~at~~ every time which ...  
~~Small children~~they should drink two bottles of ...  
... are worse as much sugar in *there*(to which/what "there refers to"? ).  
Sugar can effect ~~longer~~ if children always drink it, ...  
  
Thanks  
i do hope it is useful for you  
best regard  
ifan
Hi there,  
Let me give you some inputs regarding to your summary,  
  
-Causes of death, people need revolution for make them healthy like usual(it sounds awkward. You suppose to say = The increasing number of death is a precursor of revolution regarding to health)  
  
-Food revolution need for better future, [...] made them cannot go anywhere ( Obesity is one of the unhealthy life style, especially for teenagers. It causes they are not able to be active. Therefore, it needs food revolution)
**IELTS Writing Task 1 Learning Vacations**  
  
Now days, there are kinds of trip which is provide a learning vacations. It be more popular because it can make the travelers to enjoy their time off by learning something new. In the past, these types were generally considered for young who learned in the school. But now, the learnng vacations has become more coomon for adults to spend their pastime in educational project, and various types of travel programs be more interest. From this trip, travelers can hone their creative skills on artistic endeavour. However, there are many content which travelers can choose such as photography and dancing to more serious subjects such as history, phylosophy, and literature. It provide much advantage than any types like more economical.
~~Now days, there are kinds of trip which is ...~~  
**Nowadays, a trip becomes more various which is provided with learning on vacation. The travelers will not only enjoy the journey but also learn something new.**  
  
~~In the past, these types were generally [...] of travel programs be more interest.~~  
**Previously, such activities was generally presented by pupils who did study tour. Recently, this kind of practice has became trends for many people event for collegers, workers, and private travelers.**
Hii Alam Baka..  
i have no doubt that you are great in writing, but lemme give you some corrections..  
  
~~Now day~~ s, there are kinds of trip which *is provide* (double verb) a learning vacations  
Nowadays , there are several kinds of trip which ...  
  
It ~~be~~ is ~~more~~ popula, because it can make ...  
  
From this trip, travelers can ~~hone~~ encourage their creative ...  
hone is not strong verb in this topic  
  
However, there are many content*s* which travelers can choose such (...) such as history, ~~phylosophy~~ philosophy, and literature. It provide*s* much advantage*s* than any types ...  
  
pay attention to countable and uncountable noun.  
  
Good job mate!!  
Let's go to Pak Dur on Saturday!
Over 100 million inhabitans are hoped presenting the firts presidential open debate beetwen Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump. Most spectators will fulfill the capacity of the place where it will take place. In 1960, the firts debate in television between John Kennedy and Richard Nixon were wtched by 70 million US citizens.  
  
According to kennedy, the debate was the condition to find out and breakthrough. The most valuable issue was a compulsory of televission growth. Nixon was estimated by listeners of radio to be better candidate, who the best candidate for the US Citizens. He regulate a rule of debates when he became candidate again in 1968 and 1972. After that the pattern of the debate this candidates used again in 1976.  
  
Recently, the debate as the center of president campaign. The debates beetwen baragck Obama and Mitt Romney was watched around 67 million spectators and became the most favorite debate in 20 years. If this debate(beetwen Hillary and Trump) is attended by 100 million people, it will be a powerfull viewing figures.
Hi Mdamanhuri  
Let me give you some advice  
  
Over 100 million ~~inhabitans~~(citizens) are hoped presenting the firts ...  
In 1960, the ~~firts~~(first) debate in television (..) were ~~wtched~~(watched) by 70 million US citizens.  
  
.. was a compulsory of ~~televission~~(television) growth.  
He regulate a (set of) rule ~~of~~(on) debates when he became ...  
... it will be a ~~powerfull~~(powerful) viewing figures.  
  
Your summary are quite good but many misspelled word  
You should double-checked you summary  
Thank you...
Over 100 million inhabitans are hoped presenting ...  
*this is your sentence. on the article it is written:*  
SOME 100m people are expected to tune in to the first presidential debate between Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump tonight......*i can tell how similar your own sentence with the source. need to learn how to paraphrase more instead of only change some words.*  
  
*again, this is from the article:*The first televised debate, between John Kennedy and Richard Nixon in 1960, was watched by 70m people.*while you wrote:*  
  
In 1960, the firts debate in television between John Kennedy...  
According to kennedy*[capitalization issue]*,  
the debate was the condition to find out and breakthrough. [*to find out what? incomplete information*]  
  
Nixon was estimated by ~~listeners of radio~~radio listeners to bethe better candidate, who the best candidate for the US Citizens.*despite of repetitively mention the same words, why do not you just write* : ....to be the better candidate for the US citizens  
  
He regulateD a rule of.....  
  
After that[need comma] the pattern of the debate ~~this candidates~~ used again in 1976.  
  
Recently, the debate as the center of president campaign. =no verb
Technology is an important factor that affects all countries around the world in many ways, it seems that the conventional skills and ways of living may disappear in the future. In my opinion, I disagree with the opinion expressed because I believe that some traditional ways are still beneficial for us, so they may continue to thrive.  
  
The most important point is that conventional skills are the heritage from ancestor of every country. It is significantly considered to keep the originality of art and culture because they are also part of nation identify. Moreover, most of the people realise that not all activities can give perfect result if they use technology. For instance, "non la" is one of the characteristics of Vietnam, some factories in Vietnam produce "non la" using the machine to make a pattern. The products may be different if "non la" is made by craftsman, people who have painting skill to draw a poem or scenery on "non la". Of course, a handmade product which is made by traditional skills may be more beautiful and have high value than using technology.  
  
Furthermore, the development of technology just supports the conventional experiences instead of eliminating it. What's more, the technology revolution is a huge advantage for traditional skills which can be applied to improve these skills. For illustration, not only using the traditional skill for finding information, reading books, for example, the Internet and digital technology such as cell phone have had a "mostly positive" impact on the United State students' research habits. Additionally, the digital technology makes the communication in social life and business easier such as meeting online and using the social network, Facebook, for example.  
  
In summary, although the technology is increased considerably the valuable traditions still have a special position in people's life in the modern era because it's very useful. I believe that it would not be left by people but also thrive by the evolution of technology.
Wael Ghonim was an anonym who created helped spark the Egyptian revolution in social media. In June 2010, the internet changed his life forever. While browsing facebook, he saw a terrifying photo that it dead body of a young Egyptian guy. He shared in facebook page and called it "We are all Khaled Said". In just three days, the page had over 100,000 people, fellow Egyptians who shared the same concern.  
  
Social media was crucial for this campaign which helped decentralized movement and made people realize that they were not alone for revolution. In Wael Ghonim view, there are five critical challenges facing today's social media. First, we don't know how to deal with rumors. Second, we create our own echo chambers. Third, online discussions quickly descend into mobs. fourth, it is hard to change our opinions, because of the speed and brevity of social media, we are just forced few characters, and the last, our social media experiences are designed in a way that favors broadcasting and posts over discussions. Wael Ghonim said, "If you want to liberate the society, all you need is the Internet."
Hi @ MFES2016  
  
Your essay is good. I can see the idea immediately. The information is well presented and I commend you on that. However, there are some issues that I have noticed.  
  
he saw a terrifying photo~~that it~~of a young Egyptian guy'sdead body~~of a young Egyptian guy~~ > This is just a matter of word ordering. Once you familiarize yourself in proper word ordering, making long sentences will be easy for you.  
  
He shareditin facebook  
  
Also, I noticed that there are some word contractions you did like "don't". In formal English writing, it is prohibited to contract words as it makes the composition less formal. So, you have to express it word by word like instead of "don't", make it "do not". Lastly, you should capitalize "Facebook" since it is also a proper noun.  
  
Other than that, your essay is good. I highly appreciate your composition and I hope I can read more of your works. Good luck and keep writing.
Vacation is one of something which is many people wants,such as , when they used all the time just looking for money or working by hardworking to survive or rensponsible on the hardlive.Many ways which are used usually by the youth or adults to enjoy their vacation for example,they can learn vacation to go on tourism place or elsewhere,There are some people want to enjoy the vacation by not waste the precious time ,they tend to choose it for learning something as like,they study botany in the rain forest or gaining knowlege .Why,because by studying or learning something can hone the knowledges or skills and even, can more economic the budgets of theirs.
... which is many people wants~~,such as ,~~ when they used all (...) by hardworking to survive or responsible on thehard live .  
... botany in the rain forest or gaining knowledge. ~~knowlege .~~  
  
... or learning something can hone the knowledges or skills and even, can minimize the cost than traditional vacations. ~~more economic the budgets of theirs.~~  
  
@ bismillah
Hi,after reading your summary, i have some suggestions, perhaps useful for you.  
1.~~rensponsible~~ ---> responsible  
2.~~which are~~ ----> which is or in which  
3.results to enjoy their vacation for example-----> do not forget to put your dot after vacation word.  
be carreful with your punctuation  
4. .Why,because-----> it is make me confuse.Is it question word or statment word?  
5. ~~hone~~ improve the knowledges or skills and even, can more ~~economic~~ economically the budgets of theirs.
Hai Bismillah  
You've done well, but there are several inputs for you.  
  
... which is many people want~~s~~~~,such as , w~~**W**hen they use~~d~~ all ~~the~~**their** time ~~just~~**for**~~looking for~~**earning** money or working ~~by hardworking~~ to survive ~~or~~**and**~~rensponsible~~**respon** on the ~~hardlive~~**their hard-life** .  
  
..,they can learn ~~vacation~~**culture in different**~~to go on~~ tourism place ~~or elsewhere~~ ,There are some people want to enjoy the vacation ~~by not~~**without** waste ~~the~~**their** precious time ~~,t~~**T** hey tend to choose it for learning something as **their** like,they study **about**botany in the rain forest or gaining **another**~~knowlege~~**knowledge** .~~Why,~~ because ~~by~~**of** studying or learning something **while vacation time** can ~~hone~~**enrich**~~the knowledges~~**their knowledge** or skills ~~and even, can more economic the budgets of theirs.~~
How to construct a city where had been collapsed? It is a difficult question to answer, espesially in city which is fall apart of a devastating tragedy like coup d'etat in Egyptian. The accident was destroyed and relieved the spirit of civilization in there. But, there was a native man who had a new conception to develop humanist intention again. Him talk and make a discussion with several people in there. His idea to paint the wall of ruins with full by great number of colors accepted by personage in his city. The surprisingly result, the building covered by Arabic calligraphy that can answer the question. And proved that collaboration between a new idea and effort of local communities can attact the misconception and judgment.
Let me give you some suggestions:  
  
1. ... espesially in city which ~~is fall~~ (there are 2 verb. You need to eliminate "is or fall" or you can make it into past perfect "had fallen" ) apart of a devastating ...  
  
The accident ~~was~~had destroyed and ...  
  
2. ~~Him~~he~~talk and make~~the event has passed so it has to be Verb 2 "talked and made" a discussion with several ...  
His idea to fully paint the wall of ruins ~~with full by~~with great number of colors were accepted by personage in his city.
Hi Alamsyah, it's my pleasure to share. Here is my feedback.  
  
How to construct a city where had been collapsed? (maybe you want to say: How to rebuild/reconstruct /reestablish a collapsed city?)  
  
It is a difficult question to answer, espesially in city which is fall apart of a devastating... (what do you mean?)  
  
Please pay attention to the flow of your writing as well as its meaning.  
  
Thank you.
**David Letterman Tackles Climate Change**  
  
David Letterman is well-known as Comedian, spread happiness and laughter. After traveling to India with citizens 1.3 billion, he observed regarding world's renewable energy. He was uncared of climate change. Someone uttered that what should we remark when our children found the world get aggravate then say "Daddy, did not you do something to save it? It is his principal basis to start paying attention and institute even in small ways to create more convenience world. In India, he discovered unusual things, people live in cabin and mud homes, breathing coal and kerosene fumes. Then he realized that children live on the floor of a mud are the same as losing their human rights. The children who usually full of funny and happy should deal with uncomfortable conditions. Therefore, he is eager to dedicate his whole life to support overcoming climate change problems and say "yes, I did".