dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
Thank you, Holt. Word count is 514/650.  
  
Here is the last version altogether:  
  
TRUE PROFIT  
  
A small, empty pouch sits on my desk. Every now and then, I glance in its direction and smile. Ironically, its emptiness fulfills me. The pouch inspires me to see the positive in every aspect of my life, starting with my experience at a flea market fair.  
  
On a Saturday morning last summer, a flyer came in the mail that read: "New Jersey Flea Market Fair - Sell your items and earn money. No registration needed!" I have always wanted to contribute to my single-income family because I saw how far a dollar went toward bare essentials as well as my sister's scoliosis therapy costs. So, I seized this opportunity and started to gather items I could sell.  
  
On the day of the fair, I felt my heart thumping, tinged with a hint of anticipation as I prepared my stand. Before I knew it, my first customer approached. A lady went through my items and decided to buy one of my dresses. Receiving my first earnings, I beamed; the couple of dollars I earned felt like millions.  
  
Inviting buyers to look at my stand, I sold item after item. My pouch was brimming with money. "Success!" I thought. As the sun began to set and the rush of buyers slowed down, a manager walked toward me. I assumed that she was going to look through my items too but instead she said, "Please pay the stand fee."  
  
*What?* A stand fee? I was stunned into silence. Handing over the hefty payment, I realized my dream to help purchase a scoliosis brace for my sister was dashed. I suddenly felt empty, like I had finished a movie with an abrupt ending.  
  
Before disappointment could fully settle in, from far away, I caught sight of the small boy walking with my old box of marbles. I could still see his excitement as he swung the box back and forth. His joy reminded me of the lady who found comfort from my red sweater, the teenage girl who adored my sneakers, and the conversation I had with the old man who was thrilled to find picture frames for his granddaughter. As I looked back at my empty pouch, I could not help but smile. Although I had failed to contribute to my family's expenses, I realized that I was able to contribute to a larger family: my community.  
  
So my empty pouch remains on my desk. Looking at it, I am reminded that there is something good in every day; it just needs to be discovered. Just as pearls form in oysters because of irritations, so I now notice positive opportunities that might potentially be hidden in failures. As a takeaway from the fair, when I find myself in positions that are less than ideal, I veer toward a positive attitude and do not let failures bring me down. Internalizing this principle drove me to look at situations from different perspectives. In retrospect, I am glad that I was not aware of the stand fee. Otherwise, how else would I have made a big profit?
Mualla, at this point, you need to stop adding content to your essay. It is as perfect and informative as it can be at this point. Don't try to meet the full word count. That is not the point of the essay. Keeping it short but informative helps to make the reader remember some important parts of your essay. If you present too much, sometimes irrelevant or unnecessary information just because you want to meet the word count, then you end up messing up the presentation of your essay. Don't over analyze the content of your essay. It is good to go at this point. Don't worry about anything else. The prompt topic is well responded to and represented in your essay. Be proud of the work that you did. Submit it and relax. You have done everything that you can possibly do to polish and make the essay impressive to the reviewer.
***Some people think when recruiting, companies should aim to take on people who are innovative and able to work independently while others considered they should recruit people who are able to work in a team and follow instructions.***  
  
## The Job Recruitment Process

  
  
It is the opinion of some views that the recruitment process is aimed for selecting the person who has the certain personality such as an innovative thinking and easy to work individually or the individual who can competent to finish his/her works by work team and can obey the rules of his/her jobs. This essay will first discuss why the company needs to hire an innovative and independent candidate compared with the candidate who can give the best performance through teamwork and follow the instructions.  
  
Firstly, there are several reasons why the company needs the people who have an innovative thinking. As we know, each company often be demand for continuing their business which proper to follow the change of the latest era and sometimes they must understand the movement of the market. Thus, the corporate extremely need the employees who can produce the new idea that able to tackle their issues. Usually, the other criteria of an innovative person are they able to work as an individual or unnecessary to obtain fully command of their supervisors.  
  
Secondly, several conditions in company sometimes need the employee who able to create the good relationship in work or it means that they can manage their works by including all of the employees in the company to participate in a certain assignment. Generally, the people who have this typical would be easier to handle the complex task in a shorter time because they will be dominance in persuading their co-workers.  
  
According to my perspective, actually, I think both of criteria have the same importance to the company. Hence, the company should hire the people who not only can be as the creator of the new idea but also need for hiring the people who have the ability to manage the team effectively. However, the massive company occasionally is built by the employee who can handle the tricky issue with their novelty idea and accompanied by the solid teamwork inside them.  
  
All in all, personally I agree and support that both of the requirement which had mentioned above really important for the stabilization of the company. (349 words)
Sarlinda, there is a common problem among the IELTS test reviewers that the term "according to me" or "according to my perspective", is an acceptable academic phrase. That is not so and you have just committed the same grammatical error. The term that you base this on is "According to..." which, by definition means any one of the following:  
  
*In agreement or accord with: according to his judgment; on the authority of; as stated or reported by.*  
  
As you can see from the definition of the phrase, there is absolutely no way that you can say "according to my perspective" in this essay. Mainly because you cannot agree with your own judgement / point of view / perspective nor state or report something as a secondary source of information because you are the actual source of the information. The use of the term has to do with referring to other sources of information. Therefore, it is just plain grammatically wrong for you to say "According to my perspective". The proper term that you should have used was "In my opinion" , , or "That is why I believe", maybe even "This is why I conclude that..."  
  
The phrases that refer to your personal opinion in a more academically correct and acceptable manner are endless. Just stop using the wrong term for it because it does not show more complex vocabulary use nor grammatical range accuracy. Rather, it shows a lack of understanding of the English vocabulary, lexical meaning, and grammatical impropriety of your essay skills.
It is the opinion of some **views** that the recruitment process is aimed....  
who has the ~~certain~~ personality such as an innovative ~~thinking~~thinker and ~~easy to work~~capable of working individually  
or the individual who can ~~competent~~compete to finish his/her works by ~~work team~~team-effort and can obey the rules of his/her jobs.  
As we know, each company often ~~be demand~~demands for  
@SarlindaDS\_27  
Sarlinda, there are plenty of grammatical errors and subject-verb disgreements in your article which can be hopefully corrected by yourself after 2-3 through reviews. Please, do post the article again after your self-correction
Hello everyone, hope someone could check this for me.  
the graph is attached.  
  
## Money allocation in the UK

  
  
The table compares the percentage of income that adults and children spent on four different categories in the UK in the year 1998.  
It is clear that adults spent the largest proportion of their income on food, while for children the most spending went for music. Spending on videos was by far the lowest for adults.  
  
Overall adults spent 25% of their income on food which is the highest spending among adults, the figure was considerably different in terms of gender, at 39% for women and only 14% for men; whereas, the children spent only 10% of their income on food. By contrast, the largest proportion of income spending among children was on music at 39% with a slight disparity between boys and girls; spending on music for adults was 5% for both men and women.  
  
It can be seen that women had the lowest percentage of spending on videos and on electric equipment at 0.5% and 1% of income respectively. These figures for men was rather higher at 2% on videos and 10% on electrical equipment. At the same time, the proportion of spending by children electrical equipment was 23% while 12% of their income went to videos.  
  
*
Ali, when you write the summary overview of the chart, make sure to represent all of the sectors indicated in the chart. That means you have to also give a summary description for the men, women, boys, and girls in order to make the summary accurate and truly a paraphrased presentation of the chart.  
  
The rest of the paragraphs that inform the reader about the detailed portions of the chart are very much acceptable as you gave a straightforward presentation of the information provided. However, you could have tried to make the paragraphs more interesting by creating sentence statements instead of using semicolons throughout the paragraph. Remember, there is a minimum 3 sentence requirement per paragraph and I count only 2 sentences in some of your presentations.  
  
Finally, the last paragraph should have been better worded in order to present it as the concluding statement of the paragraph. You could simply have started by saying "Finally, the chart indicates that...". That would have been an acceptable method of properly closing the summary essay.
**Some people think that men and women have different qualities. Therefore, some certain jobs are suitable for men and some jobs are suitable for women.  
  
To what extent do you agree or disagree?**  
  
## Gender Diversity in the Workplace

  
  
Due to the various characters of two genders, some people are inclined to the assumption that men and women have their own suitable jobs. However, I stand on the opposite toward this issue.  
  
First of all, it cannot be denied that men and women certainly have some physical differences so as to cause some stereotype that men are much qualified than women to do the physical jobs or women are much proper than men to do the paper work. For instance, the secretaries are usually women and the construction workers are men. I suppose this kind of stereotype is just the statistical theory, and it doesn't present the reality. In real life, a man can be sensitive to handle the detailed work, and a woman can afford an energy occupation.  
  
Secondly, I think that will be the genderism if a job has its gender restriction. In order to create a gender equality employment environment, most of countries legislated to deter the gender discrimination. A highlight of gender equality law is protecting people's right to pursue their career instead of being restricted by the gender limitation. Also, the law implies that there is not a job much appropriate to a gender than another.  
  
To sum up, although some people think there are some jobs are suitable for specific gender, I still hold the against attitude that any gender could be capable of a job as he/she is willing to do it.
@Arlen  
I found following Grammatical inconsistencies.  
  
Due to the various ~~characters~~characteristics ....,  
However, I stand on the opposite ~~toward~~side of this issue.  
to cause some ~~stereotype~~stereotypical mentality that men are much qualified  
... there are some jobs ~~are~~ suitable for specific gender...  
I still hold ~~the against~~an opposing attitude that any gender ~~could be~~is capable of a job ~~as~~that he/she is willing to do ~~it~~.
What I didn't like about your second paragraph is that, you have mixed complex and very simple sentences. I would rather, divide the first sentence into 2 separate ones and expand the basic ones. Structured like this, the paragraph looks very weird and certanly not good enough.  
  
Secondly, I think that will be the genderism if a job has its gender restriction - that, there will be a genderism, if certain gender restrictions are imposed for a particular job.  
  
most of countries legislated to deter the gender discrimination - many countries have legislated certain laws to deter the ....
## Electricity Generation by Source in New Zealand and Germany

  
  
The pie charts compare the sources of electricity generation in two countries from 1980 to 2010. Overall, it can be seen that the electricity generation in New Zealand was dominated by coal, while nuclear, natural gas, and coal also was popular sources in Germany. In addition, the total of electricity generation in these countries rose twice over 30-year period.  
  
In New Zealand, the source was dominated by coal. The number stood at 56 in 1980, then it rocketed roughly three times in the 20-year later. Also, hydro experienced a rise. The number started at 30 and rose slowly to 46 units. However, other sources as such natural gas and petroleum declined to 2 units in 2010, whereas the numbers showed at 30 and 11 respectively in the first year.  
  
In any other country, there was nuclear which rocketed almost eight times from 20 to 155. Similiarly, the total of petroleum also inclined over the period, represented at 22 in 1980 and 27 at the end of this period. However, coal which was produced by Germany remained stable at 28 units. Further, this country resulted natural gas and hydro whose total dropped significantly. The number of natural gas stood at 28 and inclined to 2 units in 2010, while a decrease by 5 units experienced by the rate of hydro.  
  
*
while nuclear, natural gas, and coal also was popular sources in Germany. - First, the word "also" doesn't sound proper here - you've never mention nuclear and natural gas before, so you can't you use "also". In addition to this, replace was with were.  
  
In New Zealand, the source was dominated by coal - this sentence requires some work. - you can write something like - The coal was the dominating type of electric generation or The coal was the main source of electricity.  
  
as such natural gas - such as  
  
whereas the numbers showed at 30 and 11 respectively in the first year. - I didn't get the meaning of this  
  
In any other country, there was nuclear which rocketed almost eight times from 20 to 155. -- Where is the information? You are not allowed to make asumptions. Moreover, i think rocked is not the approtiate word here - try to replace it with increased/went up/exceeded ....  
  
also inclined over the period - dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/inclined
Hello everybody, i'm a senior of University of Foreign Language from Da Nang, Viet Nam. Next month, i am going to take IELTS exam and I'm not confident with my writing skill. Hope you will give me a helping hand with some suggestions to improve my skill  
  
**Nowadays food has become easier to prepare. Has this change improved the way people live ?  
You should give reasons for your answer using your own ideas and experience ?**  
  
Revolutions on many aspects of life have changed the world as well as people's life styles. The development in food industry is an example, food are now easier to set up by applying technology to the assembly line. I agree partially with this statement, prepared food doesn't bring us only the advantages but it has its own negative effect.  
  
The main reason that can be seen by every person is that the positive effect of prepared food, simply because it's convenience. In this hectic life, people usually favour a convenient way to have a meal rather than traditional way in order not to waste time. So that fast food and canned food are the best choice playing a crucial role in many people's lives. They not only provide them calories but also help them to save time. For instance, Americans often have burgers for their lunch time so as not to late for work.  
  
On the other hand, there are also a sizeable percentage of people who strongly believe that prepared food is not good for our health, it is even the main cause of some serious diseases. Firstly, fast food is set up with some quick process like : frying, grilling. These method make food lose nutrition and turn them into another matter that harm our health. Last but not least, the preservative in canned food is also the top factor that lead to bad result such as : cancer.  
  
Based on the above discussion and analysis, we can see that the change in the way preparing food have not only positive but also negative effect on people's lives.
I agree partially with this statement, prepared food doesn't bring us only the advantages but it has its own negative effect. -- I will prefer to slightly change this sentence.  
  
In my opinion, even though the faster preparation of food affects us in positive way, there are still some negatives about it.  
  
About your second paragraph : "positive effect of prepared food" - what does that mean? - use phrases like - "the ease of the process of preparing the food", "because of the easier preparation" - The way you wrote it, it doesn't make sense to the reader.  
  
The main reason that can be seen by every person is that the positive effect of prepared food, simply because it's convenience - i will definitely review this sentence. The main advantage of faster food preparation is that it is much more convenient for the people (using it)  
  
In today's hectic way of life  
  
favour a convenient -- favour the concenient  
  
than traditional way in order not to waste time - than the traditional way in order to save time for the more valuable parts of their plans/programs.  
  
So that fast food and canned food are the best choice playing a crucial role in many people's lives. - Moreover, the fast and canned food are playing a crucial way in the daily routine of many people.
hello, here are my suggestions,  
  
1. I agree partially with this statement, ~~prepared~~preparing ...  
2. The main reason that can be seen by ~~every person~~everyone or each person  
3. These methods make food lose...  
  
I think it is a solid essay that you illustrate some viewpoint to support your statement, but I suggest you can pay more attention on the grammar since there are few mistakes for the verb using.  
  
hope it helps!
**Nowadays more and more young people hold the important positions in the government. Some people think that it is a good thing，while others argue that it is not suitable. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.?**  
  
## Young, fresh government

  
  
In some countries, the youth is becoming to occupy the key positions in the government. While there are some arguments that they are not suitable enough, I support that they should hold these positions is more beneficial.  
  
On the one hand, some people think that it is not reasonable for the young to take the main posts. Firstly, many older people agree that they lack the necessary qualifications to have such important positions. In some Eastern countries, most of the older man, especially the middle-aged, run their systems of the government and solve their economy or foreign affairs of state. Secondly, the youth is also short of real experiences and this leads to their making mistakes that affect many people's lives. In some particular ways, their characters such as the hot- tempered could make them hard to success in their management.  
  
On the other hand, I agree with those who argue that the youth plays a pivotal role in our government. One reason is that they have full of creative and look at problems with modern views. These result in the new trends of their control as well as policy ideas. In some developing countries, they have tendencies to substitute technology equipment for old time-consuming working. Furthermore, the younger has more time and chances to have a valuable contribution than the older does. For examples, with the same abilities or qualifications, a young candidate could be more likely to be elected than an older counterpart because of his longer time for devotion to the public service.  
  
In conclusion, although there are some strong arguments for both views it seems to me that it is better for more young people to be selected for the important positions in our government.
@truonglanngoc  
is more beneficial -> X  
  
more of the older men -> men  
  
they have full of creative -> they are creative  
  
the rich means rich people, so you need to use a plural verb  
  
In general, you your statements are not backed up by evidence or reasoning; for example, you state that young people have more time to contribute to the government than older people do, but you did not really explain how that is so.
Ngoc, you have discussed the two points of view in the essay and yet you have failed to support either side with your personal opinion on the matter. As you can read from the prompt, you must offer your own opinion of the discussion along with the discussion of the two sides. Therefore, this essay is supposed to be a 5 paragraph essay and not 4 paragraphs.  
  
The body of the essay needs to have 3 paragraphs representing the pro, con, and personal opinion discussions. Each side having one paragraph each with which to develop your discussion and line of reasoning. Since your essay is incomplete, this will not receive a very good task accuracy score.  
  
The fact that you paraphrasing of the prompt discussion is also a bit hard to understand means that there is a lack of comprehension skills on your part and you do not have ample or simple abilities to properly explain your understanding of what you have read in English. Basically, this essay will not get a very good overall score due to the existing problems within it.
## Urbanization is a modern disease

  
  
Nowadays, people from rural area are moving to the cities which are well developed for their need and better career options but some people living in the rural place are studying and planning to urbanize the place.  
  
In my opinion, there are two ways for every matter. People try to move to the cities for better career growth and some to get the infrastructure and the requirement for there home town.  
  
People from different countries around the world move to the urbanized places as there to chose their career options as they don't get the required amount of infrastructure like example: for developing their computer skill they don't have the internet facilities, study class rooms etc. They even try to get involve with the people to learn discipline like respecting others, their behaviour, their living style etc. Again, different people have their own taste of learning.  
  
At the same time, people who look forward to get better infrastructure and make their own home to be urbanized. They look forward to get better study classes, hospitalisation, banking facilities, digital utilization for betterment of people which make their time and money save.  
  
They even try to bring the better career options for the people live in the rural place to explore their knowledge in a specific field and provide more career options which helps them to develop their own infrastructure.  
  
In conclusion, urbanization has become a modern disease for people who are studying the requirement for their own people and making an identity around the countries or in the world.  
  
Thank you