dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
Huong, you again failed to provide a copy of the illustration that you were provided with for the summary. Why can't you do it? The instruction is pretty simple, just click on the image link and upload the image. I have already told you that I cannot accurately provide you with the help that you need to improve in your essay writing without it. I truly hope that you are not just being hard headed and uncooperative because what I am asking for is not for myself but for me to use in helping you. That is, if you really want my professional help. In as far as I can tell, the essay that you wrote might be alright. However, your opening summary seems to be lacking some important discussion points because it is too short and does not carry a relevant discussion outline. Again, without the image, I cannot tell you what information you could have added in that part to make your essay get a better grade. You lack a period at the end of your final sentence in the last paragraph. That tells the examiner that this is sloppy work and he will reduce your GRA score because of it. I am also not sure if you accurately accomplished the task expected because of the lack of the image. Overall, it does not seem like you really want accurate and professional help. I hope you will change your mind and be more cooperative by simply uploading the image for review use.
**Do you agree or disagree with this statement: When people success, it is because of hard working, luck has noting to with success.**  
  
## justifying the luck in a person' success

  
  
The word diligence is always associated with success. However, none of us can plead ignorance the importance of luck in one's success, for there are a vast array of cases prove it.  
  
First, we can not conceal the fact that a piece of luck plays an essential role in discoveries or inventions. Alexander Fleming, the discoverer of penicillin, is just such a person. He has experimented on antibiotic for almost nine years, but the idea of penicillin didn't occur to him until he saw the mildew on a chunk of cheese by chance. Luck translates consecutive laborious work into a great discovery.  
  
What is more, the importance of luck can also be justified on the ground of rising one to fame. Let us consider young authors. It is anything but easy for them to be known by public: They make every endeavor to improve their writing skill. The pressure of life bears down on them, pushing their to wrest a living from taking menial jobs. It seems that rise to fame overnight is a jam tomorrow. But one day, everything changes. The author meets an editor who loves his essay at the right time and the right place, or he gets a piece of his work published and suddenly attracts people's interest. Years of hard-working bring the author to the doorway of success, but good luck eventually help him reap success.  
  
Last but not the least, the smile from Lady Luck help many people secure job. After years of conditioning, most of us have developed an unshakable faith in the power of luck in job finding. Has this ever happened to you? Have you ever had nothing better to do than wonder on the street? Have you ever sent resumes to a tremendous number of companies and gotten no reply? But with the help of luck, a job hunter may reckon your resume carefully rather than just throw it to rubbish bin, which makes everything different. So powerful is the luck that we are increasing aware of its impact.  
  
What I feel oblige to clarify is hard work is also inseparable from success. However, hard work without luck always lead to nothing. So that we should summon our courage to deal with troublesome study or work, but we can still cherish the hope that one day we can be amply rewarded by the Lady Luck.  
  
Thank you for rectifying my essay.
Selaf, here is the thing, with an opinion essay asking you to disagree or agree with a statement, you actually need to refer to the instruction in your opening sentence by saying either "I fully agree" or "I totally disagree" or a variation of such sentences. Without this actual phrase located towards the end of your opening statement, your essay can be considered non prompt compliant or even, prompt deviant, which would be worse because that means you did not understand the instructions that were given to you in the essay discussion. The opening statement that you have doesn't properly reflect the prompt requirement because it does not offer a proper paraphrasing of the prompt topic for discussion. This would have been part of the outline discussion that is part of the opening statement presentation. The first part of the essay that you wrote is actually best presented as parts of the body paragraphs. Not as an opening statement. Your concluding statement has the same problem. You cannot continue the discussion of the essay with new information then suddenly stop it. That is not a completed essay. Unless you properly wrap up the essay with a new summation of the discussion plus a restatement of your opinion, it cannot be considered a concluding statement. Due to these problems with your essay, I believe that an examiner would assess your work as a possible 3.
## Urban vs Village

  
  
Nowadays, there is a heated discussion that individuals choose to live in the city or countryside. An increasing number of people held the opinion that it is enjoyable for them to live in the countryside. Others, however, are of opinion that they want to live in city. As for me, compared with the countryside, I prefer to live in the city. It is convenient for people to learn new skills and to find a suitable job.In this essay, I will brief my reason.  
  
In most situations, the urban life has more advantages than rural life. The primary factor we require taking into consideration are that we can have a good platform for receiving education as good as possible. In big cities, the public can easily find colleges and training centers. There are many brilliant teachers, who not only can enrich your knowledge, but also can offer students some jobs. You mayjoin in their programs to improve your study and work experience. It is helpful for you to pour your knowledge into practice.  
  
Moreover, it is comparatively easier about the public to find a job. There are a lot of companies in city which need the huge numbers of people to work. Especially working in the worldwide companies, you not only can broaden you sight, but also it is benefits to recognize excellent colleagues to enhance your working skills.  
  
It may be true that rural life has peace pace, for which plenty of evidence can be found. It does not have much pressure on work and social life. Nevertheless, being able to work under pressure is just a matter of time.  
  
To sum up, I will choose to have the urban life. It is more potential to study and work.
Blair, I think that this particular essay can only garner the highest score of 3. I base that score on the way that you present the data related to the topic for discussion. You focused so much on developing the reasons for living in the city that it took more than half the essay in presentation. Leaving only a few thoughts and words, barely a complete paragraph, for the comparison of countryside life in the essay. In this instances, the best way to develop the essay, for a possibly higher score, would be to balance the discussion. That means, offer an equal amount of reasoning and discussion for both sides that you are comparing in the essay. So one paragraph for the countryside, one for the urban living, and one paragraph, for your supporting statement. Or, you can combine your supporting statement / opinion in the discussion of the side that you believe in. That way, you present an informative essay that does not directly try to influence the reader towards a particular side.
**The pie chart below shows the online shopping sale for retailer sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013.  
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.**  
  
## New Zealand's retail sale 2003-2013

  
  
A breakdown of the proportion of online sales in four different retailers in New Zealand between 2003 and 2013 is revealed in the pie chart. Overall, the rate of online sales in both clothes and travel decreased while the reverse appeared to be true for the remaining figures. Also, the figure indicates that the biggest rise saw in the figure for film/music.  
  
In 2003, the online sales of travel was the most favorite one at more than a half while film/music's online sales was in the third level (21%). In contrast, over the following 10 years, the former decreased slightly to 29% whereas a significant growth by 12% witnessed in the latter, making its figure overtake the travel retailer as the highest online seller at the end of the period.  
  
Turning to other figures, it is seen that the figure for clothes occupied the second rate of sales at less than a quarter in 2003. However, by 2013, there had been a marked fall by 8% in the rate of online sales in clothes, causing it place the lowest percentage at the final year whilst a very small rise had only been seen in books figure.  
  
*
Hi @Ahmadham!  
Fist of all, I want to say that I'm not an expert but just a student that is trying to improve her English. Anyway, I would make this corrections. I hope this will help you.  
  
- "A breakdown of the proportion of online sales..." I'd write an introduction paraphrasing the statement given, instead of show the conclusion of the comparison.  
  
- I would give an overview at the end of the writing and not in the introduction ("Overall, ...."), writing 4 paragraphs.  
- In the second paragraph: if you want write in "British" English "favourite" is better than "favorite", that is American spelling.  
- "significant growth ~~by~~ of 12%"
Ahmad, I think that this essay presentation of worthy of a band score of 7. It is highly accurate in terms of representing the pie chart discussions and you did your best to discuss the offered information. While I feel that some deeper analysis and presentation could be done in order to better utilize the information presented, you did a good enough job of removing the mechanical presentation feel of the data. Your opening summary / overview is also impressive because you knew to provide an overview of the information provided, along with a discussion outline, which you also managed to follow within your own presentation. Basically, the essay is admirable in both content and presentation, as far as I am concerned. However, it would have been nice to see a more threshed out discussion of the percentage points in the essay. Overall though, the essay works for its purpose in a manner that helps to increase your final score.
**The unlimited use of cars caused many problems. What are those problems? In order to reduce the problems, should we discourage people to use cars?**  
  
## the great number of vehicles on roads and its impact

  
  
It is undeniable that private cars has brought a great deal of travelling convenience. However, the widespread of car use has led to some serious environmental issues, causing detrimental effects on our health and life quality. Therefore, there is no doubt that car restriction is considered as an effective measure to control the problems.  
  
First of all, cars are the primary cause for the air pollution which makes people vulnerable to many diseases. Exhausts emitting from automobiles contains a great number of harmful particles being stuck in our lungs and causing cancers. In addition, these substances are considered as a main reason for human gene modification, leading to fatal impact on the existence of the mankind.  
  
Furthermore, the more private cars people use, the more pressure there is on the parking lots. Instead of saving land for botanic gardens or parks, more land is being used for parking areas. This to some extend has resulted in negative effects on our life quality. People do not have enough green places and fresh atmosphere which are vital elements to maintain their welfare.  
  
In order to alleviate the problems, a restriction on car use definitely can be seen as an effective medium. For one thing, the use more eco-friendly means of transport will help reduce global warming emissions, leaving a cleaner and purer atmosphere. This can attribute to curbing diseases related to poor air quality. For another thing, more space designated for natural habitats will encourage people's participation in physical activities like cycling, walking or jogging. An active lifestyle will spread among the community and improve our living standards.  
  
In conclusion, even though automobiles are thought to be an advantageous form of transport, their popularity is still causing hazardous environmental impacts on people's life physically and mentally. Therefore, with car reduction, we can completely expect a better life quality.
Hi @Thuy Linh,  
This is a very good essay. Your idea makes sense and you have a wide range of vocabulary.  
However, if you are going to an IELTS exam, I think your essay is quite long (307 words). I am worried that you may not have enough time to review it after you finish writing. I think it would be the best if it has 250-270 words. Also, there should be only 4 paragraphs, including an introduction, a supporting paragraph 1, a supporting paragraph 2 and a conclusion. Maybe you should consider to combine your second and third paragraph into one.  
  
There are some minor grammar mistakes as below.  
- private cars has brought -> private cars have brought  
- primary cause for the air pollution -> primary cause of air pollution  
- This to some extend -> This to some extent
Thuy, though there is no word limit on the Task 2 essay, I am wondering if the sheer length of this essay that you wrote was accomplished within the time frame. Writing more than 300 words is a feat, even for the most seasoned writer, when it has to be written under time pressure. That fact that you have to draft, review, and finalize the essay within a given time frame tells me that you probably did not use a timer in this instance. There is no way those 3 procedures could have been complete in the given time, based upon the length of this essay. So I am not sure if I should actually score this essay because it did not follow the mandatory requirements of a practice test. If I were to score this essay though, I would give it a 5 at the most due to the apprehensions that I mentioned earlier in this review. Your discussion is strong and well developed. The sentence requirements were met and you presented an informed discussion to the reader. Good work. Remember my concerns about your time use for your next practice test though.
**The pie charts show the most common advantages and disadvantages of Fairmont Island, according to a survey of visitors.  
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.**  
  
## tourists' survey

  
  
The given pie charts provide the results of a survey of tourists in regard with the benefits and the drawbacks of Fairmont Island.  
  
First and foremost, as for the positive aspects, it is showed that a high proportion of visitors consider the resident people (at 40%) and the scenery (at 37%) the most important advantages of this tourist destination. Whereas, an almost equal number of sightseers are pleased with the accommodation and the culture (12% and 11% respectively).  
  
On the other hand, considering the downsides, it is illustrated that a frequent criticism is for the high cost of living in Fairmont Island (comprising of just under half of tourists). Moreover, a third and a fifth of visitors judge as negative aspects the entertainment and the weather, while the remaining 5% is disappointed with the local food.  
  
Overall, it is clearly indicated that the main factors influencing the tourist attraction in Fairmont Island are the local population and the scenery, conversely, a considerable percentage of travelers consider the high cost of living the main disadvantage.  
  
*
Micol, for consistency, please always indicate the percentage throughout your presentation rather than saying "half, a third, a fifth". The actual mention of the percentage shows a clearer analytical practice on your part when compared to the ballpark figure type of presentation as this indicates you are guessing the figures of the data when the pie charts show otherwise. Remember, you are judged greatly on your analytical abilities in the Task 1 essay so you need to develop that work further. Additionally, you need to improve your overview statement at the start of the essay. Make sure to present a clear overview and outline of the upcoming discussion by indicating the topics rather than offering actual information based on the data provided. Overall, this is a pretty good writing job that will probably score a 6 at the most in an actual setting.
Topic: **scientists say that in the future humanity will speak the same language. Do you think this is a positive or negative social development?**  
  
## Merging whole world languages into one

  
  
Nowadays, many languages such as English, Chinese or Spanish are becoming so pervasive that the majority of people can speak. Therefore, some scientists believe that the popularity of a language can lead to its domination all over the world. As far as I am concerned, this development has both positive influences and negative outcomes.  
  
On the one hand, the global prevalence of a language certainly gives rise to various positive impacts. As we all know, there is an increasing globalization in many aspects, ranging from economy to finance and education. The same language, therefore, can help people cooperate to run a business more conveniently and productively, even they have different nationalities or from different ethnics. Consequently, it is obvious that if people speak the same language, there will be more opportunities for them. For instance, workers who are unemployed in many countries can immigrate to other nations to seek for careers without concerning about language barriers. This phenomenon can result in the global economy, where trades will definitely become much easier. Moreover, speaking the same language can reduce the gaps among different nations and cultures. It is inevitable that citizens who are from other continents or different peoples are capable of making friends and gradually become much closer.  
  
On the other hand, this development may contribute to a variety of detrimental consequences. Even though residents have no limits in communication, speaking the same language may put a stop to their mother tongues. People may realize their first languages are impractical and no need to preserve them or pass them on to coming generations. More importantly, if a language controls throughout the world, it may undermine the cultural diversity because languages and cultures are compatible. The loss of the mother tongue in a nation may deter their cultural identity from flourishing due to the link between languages and cultural values.  
  
In conclusion, the domination of a global language will result in both benefits and drawbacks. Even though it may bring about many advantages, I strongly believe the disadvantages outweigh the benefits.
Nguyen, I will be generous here and offer you a score of somewhere between 3 and 4 for this essay. Your actual score would depend upon the minor considerations that the actual examiner would have for this prompt requirement in an actual test. I am giving you a ballpark figure because your work is not as bad as it would seem to be. The main problem with your work is that you did not accurately follow the prompt instructions. This is not a comparison essay but rather, a single opinion essay as provided by the prompt instruction that indicates "Do you think this is a positive OR negative...". In this instance, "OR" is the key instruction word. It meant that you should have chosen only one side to discuss in the essay as a personal opinion. Had the instruction indicated "Discuss both sides..." Then you could have used your "both positive and negative" discussion style in the response. It is the method of your response that your score actually got pulled down immensely.
**Question: Many museums and historical sites are mainly visited by tourists but not local people. Why is this the case and what can be done to attract more local people to visit these places?**  
  
## locals tend to underestimate the value of places they live in

  
  
**Answer:**  
A number of monuments and museums primarily attract foreigners instead of the local. The primary cause of this phenomenon is the underestimation local people feel for these places and the most viable solution is an organization of events encouraging people to go to historical sites.  
  
The principal cause leading to the shortage of local visitors is that they do not feel the need to visit the historical and cultural sites in their towns. As local monuments have already been familiar with citizens, they might find it boring to visit these places. As a result, they could influence their friends and families that local sites do not bring any value to their lives. For instance, a recent government survey found that 75% of people in Ha Noi refused to choose Ho Chi Minh Mausoleum as their destination because they found nothing exciting out there.  
  
To tackle this problem, the government should hold special events, such as conventional games or festival at the monuments to motivate locals to visit these places. Organizing popular events could shed some light on this difficult situation and allow people to be more concerned about it. To illustrate, a similar initiative in China resulted in a 52% increase in the number of local visitors to important spots in their cities.  
  
In conclusion, the number of foreign visitors is greater than that of local people in several historical and cultural places since locals tend to underestimate the value of these places. However, it can be addressed through conducting a variety of special programs there to stimulate local visitors.
Vuu, good work on writing 200 words for this essay. That sort of word count can definitely increase your chances of getting a higher score because you have a better opportunity of proving your abilities in the LR, C&C, and GRA sections of the essay. However, the GRA and TA section will not have a marked increase in scoring because you did not meet the 3 sentence minimum in some instances of the paragraphs within your essay. Always work towards meeting the maximum 5 sentence requirement per paragraph in order to better increase your overall chances. The way that you wrote the essay shows a clear understanding of the prompt. Although, this understanding had a little problem when it came to consistency in the presentation of your discussion. In the opening statement, you mentioned the locals at the start, then merely said "people" later on in the paragraph. "Locals" and "people" are two different things since "people" can refer to anyone. The correct term would have been "local people" in order to remain prompt specific and thus, increase your score.