dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
You have written less than 250 words, which is the bare minimum requirement for the task 2 essay that you are writing. The essay that you wrote is short on the word count because you failed to properly approach the discussion. The prompt paraphrase could have been better drafted and you should have provided only one problem and one solution as a part of the discussion outline within the last part of the paraphrase. Being unable to properly provide the discussion outline is what made your essay suffer in terms of clarity, presentation, and word count.  
  
Your second paragraph does not make much sense to the examiner. You only offered discussion topics or reasons, but failed to properly explain why you considered these reasons problems. That is why each discussion paragraph should have only one topic sentence and one discussion focus at all times. One for one problem and another for a singular solution. Failing to properly develop your discussion, as you did here will not help your score.  
  
There are several reasons that this essay will not pass:  
  
- It does not meet the word count requirement  
- It does not contain properly developed paragraphs  
- Numerous grammar errors prevail  
- There is a lack of overall writing skill in the presentation.  
  
I am sure you can write very well in your native tongue, but you need to work on your sentence development and structure in the English language. Your meaning is getting lost in the translation from your native language to UK English.
## advertisements inside schools

  
  
These days, some schools do not have enough money to pay for all the programs that they think are necessary for their students. As a result, some schools are considering allowing advertisements in their buildings. Do you think this is a good idea? Why or why not?  
  
*Please give me some comments.*  
  
In contemporary, there are some educational institutions could not afford to pay for all essential programs for their students due to the lack of money. As a result, they are deeming whether they should admit the occurrence of advertisements in their building or not. From my perspective, advertising inside school has pros and cons but it could be an appropriate opinion.  
  
Initially, educational institutions are not only raise their money, but their pupils can also find out lots of useful information thanks to advertisements. There are many goods and services meeting the demand of students that suppliers can advertise at school from foods and beverages to necessary courses. For instance, after seeing a flyer of a grocery on school bulletin board, students might decide what they should pay for meals or snacks after schooldays easily.  
  
In addition, allowing organizations implement advertising plans inside might help schools spread their images to the general public. The management board of each educational institution should make a negotiation that in case of advertising inside their buildings, those organizations have to promote school's good points. As an example, a school in where there are lots of excellent students introduced by a foreign language center can attract more students next semester.  
  
On the other hand, there are some disadvantages from advertising inside school if the school leaders cannot control total content written in advertising panels. If information about a poor quality course is circulated in educational environment, it can lead to serious problems such as losing the credit of learners and their parents or lowering school's reputation.  
  
In conclusion, the benefits of accepting advertisements inside school can outweigh the drawbacks. In order to reduce financial burden, educational institutions can admit advertisements inside but they must take control over the advertising content strictly.  
  
(296 words)
You are not really offering an opinion in the response or throughout the essay. Always remember that when asked a direct question, a direct response is required within the last 2 sentence of the prompt paraphrase. Additionally, the prompt asks you to give a reference idea that supports your agreement so you have to provide that as well. The main problem with this essay is that you have decided to take a middle aisle position in the discussion. This is not a C/C or A/D essay so the examiner will have to score you down for not having a proper opinion for discussion in the essay.  
  
When you are unsure about how to respond to an essay, never take the middle seat. Always use an outline before you start the essay. There are always two sides to any discussion. In this case, the two options for response are:  
  
- Good idea  
- Bad Idea  
  
Create a list of what you think are the good ideas and the bad ideas. Based on the listing which do you think has more benefits for the money making efforts of the school? Look for the unspoken questions that will help your discussion. In this case:  
  
- How will advertising affect the students when in school? What sort of ads should be allowed?  
- Should the school only focus on raising funds through advertising for their academic programs? Yes or no? Why?  
  
If you do not learn to analyze the question and create your own outline and outline questions that will help you better formulate a response, you will never be able to defend a solid single opinion in the essay.
## Places visited by Canadian people

  
  
The chart compares the number of Canada's resident who visited different places.  
The most popular leisure place is cinema in different groups, except the new migrants who born in other countries. Meanwhile, the theatre figure showed the low-level data of visitors. Surprisingly, library was popularity in new migrants born in other countries.  
  
It is clear that cinema is the place that attracted people to attend, 70% of local people and 50% of English-speaking migrants, exclude the non-English-visitor showed a negligible number, only 10%of non-English countries' migrants. 20% to 25% of Canadians and English as first language migrants.  
  
Approximately, half proportion English-speaking residents visited the zoo. The number of local resident and non-English-speaking residents was similarity, among 35% and 40%. The library was a popular choice for those people who came from non-English-speaking countries, the proportion reached 55%. Almost quarter people, include Canadians and English as first language counterparts.  
  
*   
*Question*
@tesshung  
  
Regarding task achievement: I think your overview is a little bit too detailed so it does not state the most striking features of the graph. The data was not clearly described in your writing. For example, the proportion of people visiting cinema is 70%; 65% and 50% respectively for those born in Canada, migrants from English-speaking country and migrants from other countries.  
  
Regarding grammar and vocabulary: you wrote many fragments. Please keep in mind that you need at least a subject and a verb to make a finished sentence: "only 10%of non-English countries' migrants." "20% to 25% of Canadians and English as first language migrants." are examples of you unfinished sentences.  
  
You also have problems with word forms and articles:A HALF OF English-speaking residents ....The number of local resident and non-English-speaking residents was SIMILAR...almost A QUARTER OF people...
## the best way of travelling within the city

  
  
Topic: Some people think that cars are the best way to travel in a city, while others think that bicycle is better.Discuss both views and give your opinion.  
  
Over the decades, people always have different thoughts and opinion for the mean of transports. While a bunch of people believe that cars are the best way of travelling within the city, others feel bicycles are the better alternative. In my opinion, both the modes of transportation have their own advantages and disadvantages.  
  
On the one hand, we do not doubt private cars are attractive means of the transportation in major city. Firstly, they make driving convenient and fast. Travelling car help us labor saving much. Secondly, not only did it help save our times but it also can run huge number of miles in shorter period of time. For example, people prefer to travel by car every day around the city as well as travel long distances such as from their home to offices or trips long road. Besides, with family, it is extremely wonderful because of large capacity and suitable in all kind of weather. Therefore, look at every aspect of cars, cars can one choose.  
  
On the other hand, some people encourage to use bicycles in their day to day life instead of cars. It is true that riding a bicycle is good for our healthy and it is an environment-friendly mode of transportation. A study showed that if the residents bike ride become a demand or a habit, this can mitigate help us no risk of air pollution which is the key concern with the use of cars as well as not contribute to traffic jam. Furthermore, bike ride has extremely cost cheap help us saving money. This is the best mode of traveling short distance by keeping ourselves and our environment healthy and safe.  
  
In conclusion, I believe that every transportation has differently both benefits and drawbacks. People need to choose the right vehicle according to their requirement and necessity.
@vugiang  
Sorry Giang, I accidently posted my comments before I finished it and I can't edit the previous comment. Please read the comment again as follow:  
  
Some grammar problems:  
  
Singular and plural nouns: opinionS; major citIES; PeriodS of time; all kindS of weather  
Grammatical structure: help us save a lot of labor; good for our HEALTH (word form mistake)  
  
You should use structure and vocabulary that you know well. The sentence "Therefore, look at every aspect of cars, cars can one choose." does not make sense as you attempted to use vocabulary and structure thay you do not understand. Same thing happened with the phrase "the residents bike ride"  
  
The good point is that you presented some appropriate ideas that answered the question. Keep on practicing and you will improve your writing.
## SHOULD GOVERNMENTS GIVE FINANCIAL SUPPORT TO ARTISTS?

  
  
**Topic: Governments give a lot support to artists, even though some people think it is a waste of money that could have been used elsewhere. Discuss both views and give your opinion.**  
  
Many financial aids to artists come from national budget. While many people think that this is an inefficient way to spend money, I believe that government sponsoring artists is beneficial to both artists in developing their talent and to the society as a whole in the long run.  
  
On the one hand, it is thought that giving support to artist is a waste of national budget money because the country always has more urgent problems to deal with. For instance, in developing countries like Vietnam, there are a lot of poor people who do not have a livelihood and this problem increase the rate of crime. As a result, the limited the financial resources of the country should be spent on solving these issue rather than sponsoring artists. However, I disagree with this viewpoint because not allocating a portion of budget to support the development of art will result in loss of potential art talent and adversely affect the long-term development of the society.  
  
On the other hand, advocates to government support to artists believe that this aid is necessary to help artists develop their talent. Without financial support from the government, many artists cannot afford the expense to study and to live on the low income at the beginning of their career. I agree with this viewpoint as the artists sponsored by government will give back to the society when they are mature. For instance, my brother was granted a scholarship to study art by the Singaporean government. Since graduation, he has been working as a designer for a Singaporean company that pays tax to Singaporean government.  
  
In conclusion, although many people think that government spending on supporting artists is wasteful, I believe that this is necessary to nurture art talent that, once developed, will benefit the country as a whole.
## A big sport event organization

  
  
Becoming a host country of a major sports competition seems to be an exceptional opportunity to display country's strengths on the international arena. However, hosting competition does not always bring positive effects.  
  
First of all, hosting supplies host country with reputation and great honor when organizing a competition which is of paramount importance. Therefore, host country might make a good impression on the foreign one by their stupendous preparation for such a significant event. Secondly, it may beneficial for the host country by boosting the national economy. Organizing a monumental sport competition draws numerous people who have interest in sport travelling to host country. This somehow develops the tourism business. Consequently, it not only introduces domestic culture to foreigners, but also contributes to GDP of the host country. Last but not least, raising citizen's sport spirit seems to be a remarkable merit of these events. People may learn about the importance of sport; hence, it stimulates residents to exercise, which eventually raises national health.  
  
However, hosting might exert about negative impacts on government budget. Money-consuming on organizing and building infrastructure used for supporting for the event. On the contrary, it might be much more useful when it is spent for other urgent issues like social health problem, undernourished children and poverty. Secondly, gathering a large amount of people might pose a threat to social security, especially opportunities for riot from groups of negative fan of the failure team. Moreover, the host country appeared to be in jeopardy because of being an ideal destination of terrorists. Finally, damaging the local environment seems to be one of the remarkable drawback of sport competition holding. Littering trash on the organizational areas, or soaring gas emissions from high density of using transportation might be anticipated in such a major sport competition.  
  
I personally believe that drawbacks of this such a sport event outweighs its merits. Therefore, government should spend their budget on more urgent issues.
You wrote 321 words and never once, bothered to review the original prompt. You never bothered to check if the essay that you wrote is in accordance with the prompt requirements. All of the words that you wrote became useless when you failed to follow the formatting requirement for the response and reasoning paragraphs. It is useless to write all those words, when you will not meet the discussion requirements anyway. You will still fail the test.  
  
You did not properly represent the instructions in your prompt paraphrase. You turned a A/D with personal opinion essay into a single point of view essay with your prompt paraphrase. Causing a confusing representation in the discussion paragraphs. You should have properly outlined the discussion in the paraphrase to indicate the 2 point of view essay with a personal opinion at the end. The personal opinion should be discussed in a complete paragraph form. It is not a single sentence at the end. A personal opinion will never be accepted as a concluding paragraph or sentence by the examiner. Basically, this essay only has a lot of words written, but it does not meet the discussion requirements in the proper manner.
## Is education necessary?

  
  
Do human beings need education for life or just use it as a tool to get a good job to survive? Education's not just about the tools that help people get a good job, it also plays an extraordinary role in the development of every aspect of life, relates to any dimension of the world such as economy, social development, policies....Education is a fundamental right, everyone should have the same opportunity to have a comprehensive education.  
  
Education development consolidates the infrastructure in education in all areas of each country. Giving the chance for every child from everywhere to enroll in special courses such as art, music, sport... is to develop their enthusiasm and potential talent.  
  
Education development needs to come along with approaching orientation of career, helps students to have a clear awareness of the future career and have their right to decide what they want to do, who they want to be.  
  
Nowadays, the student in a remote area and low-income students are still lacking the opportunity to access equal education resources to develop their talent and enthusiasm, especially art, music, sport, orientation classes, so education development should have its emphasis on these course.
Somehow your opinion paper feels too short and uninformative. You wrote only 195 words when the standard academic writing minimum for an opinion essay is 250 words. I guess that is why the essay feels like it was rushed. You don't really expand on your topic presentations in the paragraphs. You just keep mentioning them without really making a solid, valid, and acceptable point. When you write an opinion essay, each paragraph needs to start with a topic sentence. After the topic sentence, you, as the writer, needs to work on reiterating the point you mentioned through expanded explanations, using valid examples, and properly referenced supporting discussions. Whenever applicable, a connecting transition sentence to help connect the current discussion with the next paragraph topic must be used.  
  
You are also limited in your punctuation mark usage. You are using only 3 in this essay: the comma, period, and ellipses. Try to avoid using ellipses in academic writing. Those are usually reserved for speeches, creative writing, and informal writing. Try to use a variety like colons, semi-colons, and hyphens to name but a few that can help you develop better sentence presentations. Proper punctuation usage will also help you create more complex sentences in the future.  
  
By the way, about your spelling in this essay. You spelled the word "enroll" using the American English reference. I believe you are practicing for the IELTS test so you need to learn the spelling differences between American and UK English. In UK English, the word is spelled "enrol", with a single L. Use more descriptive adjectives. When you say "... get a good job", the sentence comes across as flat and one dimensional. It is not interesting. However, if you said "... an excellent job..." then the sentence would have come to life because of the exciting description being used in the sentence.
## Maps: Change in an island

  
**IELTS 1**  
  
The two maps below show an island, before and after the construction of some tourist facilities  
  
The two maps illustrate the change of a island, before and after some tourists facilities were constructed.  
  
Overall, although several facilities emerged in order to attract tourists, the coconut trees remained unchanged throughout the period.  
  
Initially, the island was an uncharted landscape which merely had some trees and a beach. After the construction, the island witnessed a significant change. In the center of the island lay an reception surrounded by vehicle track. The vehicle track also linked the restaurant with the pier where boats anchored. Besides, accommodation was built next to the reception. In detail, 9 huts were located to the east of the reception, while 6 huts were constructed to the west.  
  
Furthermore, those huts were all connected by the footpath. The trees stayed in the same position, and the land in the west of the island remained untouched. Noticeably, despite not being expanded, the beach was turned to a location for swimming.  
  
*
I have a sense that you under wrote in this essay. With only 154 words written, you are not maximizing the overall scoring potential of your descriptive essay presentation. You have a good eye for the obvious comparison points in the essay. Good work pointing out that the coconut tree positions did not change although the island was developed over the years. That shows a comparison point that the examiner will take note of and consider when assessing your final score.  
  
Stating that the island underwent changes twice in two different presentations will be considered a redundancy, it will bring your essay under the word count. I knew it. That is why I always encourage my students to write at least 175 words in the essay. That gives you an allowance for the word count in case some problems, such as redundancies, occur and the original word count is deducted from.  
  
Remember, the UK English spells words differently. Try to avoid using American English in word presentations like "center" which, in UK English is "centre". You have an indefinite article problem. Review the use of the words "a" and "an". When a word starts with a vowel "an" is the word that precedes it. A consonant starting word uses "A". There is also a subject verb disagreement in the essay. "Track" should be "tracks".
## Students choice which subjects they want to study

  
  
*Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology.*  
  
People have different points of view about how much choice students should have when it comes to choosing the area of study at university. While some believe there should be only several certain of the areas like science or technology should be taught, I strongly lean towards the notion of it is the students free of right to choose their majors, the subjects they want to learn.  
  
These days, there is an array of reasons why people think students should opt for science and technology. First, it is due to the development and technological advances which play a vital role in our life, from medical to services, or even agriculture. Therefore, scientists of computer developers are considered to have more job opportunities, career progression, higher salaries compared to the others. Moreover, it is the inventions of science and technology which contributes to our society's evolution from the Industrialization 1.0 to 4.0. Last but not least, by promoting subjects related to STEM can tighten the skills and human resources gap in those fields to accelerate the economic growth.  
  
Nevertheless, I completely support that college students should study whatever they want. Each one has their own abilities, interests in particular aspects in their lives, you can not make a fish climb a tree, this will even worsen the social and human development. Only when you have passion for the subjects you are keen on, can you have the motivation to unleash your potentials, erase your limits in that field. Besides, we can not deny the paramount importance of other subjects like arts, history or economics which triggers the creativity of people.  
  
In conclusion, while science and technology constitute so much to our life, I still gravitate towards the notion of students are free to select which subjects they want to study.