dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
Grades that students acquire from exams, assignments, and projects can be perhaps the most important thing for them to decide which university or college they will attend in the future. To perform better in the evaluation from schools, each individual student has to invent his/her unique way of studying. Due to this fact, learning methods vary from students to students to a large extent these days. The various learning methods can largely fall into two categories that are studying alone and doing it with other classmates as a group. Some students prefer studying with others over sitting alone at the desk at a quiet place. There are three compelling reasons why they believe the group study session is more efficient and helpful than studying alone. It helps to increase your knowledge retention, spend less time in material which you have already mastered, and boost your motivation.  
  
First of all, the group study session is a very powerful tool for students to improve their knowledge retention. By the meaning of knowledge retention, it is about how long your knowledge lasts in your memory. Students studying as a group, for instance, are often put in a situation where they are expected to explain and paraphrase lecture notes in front of the other classmates. This kind of activity is very influential on their learning since they have more chances to learn or review the lecture notes in different words from each other. As they talk to one another about what and how they understood, confusions about learning material can be considerably minimized by discovering the point of intersection. To put it differently, they are able to precisely find out the key points of any information as a collaborative group and reinforce their ideas.  
  
Another great advantage of the group study session, in addition, expands the access to information among classmates. There is always a possibility that students might miss writing down some important concepts on their notes from lectures. Fortunately this problem is easily solved by forming a study group where students feel free to share their lecture notes and knowledge with others. Studying with others, moreover, allows for varied perspectives and creative ideas to be delivered among each other. By this mean, students will eventually end up with expanded access to knowledge and obtaining good source of feedback.  
  
Writer's message: This is my first time using this forum for the purpose of improvement on writing. Please, feel free to add your feedback below if you can replace some sentences with better ones. If there are some weird things written on this, I would be glad to know how to fix them. I'm really looking forward to your response and support!
Hi Rick,I'm glad you found this website and as much as you expected, we aim at providing you with the most comprehensive and accurate feedback, in order for you to strengthen your essay.  
  
Having said that, I would like to share that I for one, enjoys group sessions, it does not only help in your studies, it also foster a very good relationship between classmates and friends that will hopefully be a long live friendship,  
  
Now, going back to your essay, I must say you have a logical approach of the ideas and how to properly create a meaningful and easy to comprehend essay, you also focused on the task at hand and this is very important when you are writing an essay. Overall, there is only very minor enhancements to be made such as the one made by another contributor above and I hope you follow through and keep writing.
Thank you so much for the feedback. But I would like to ask you some more questions below:  
1. What is the difference between *"Access of"* and *"Access to"* ?  
  
2. What should I use between *"Helpful to something"* and *"Helpful in something"* ?  
  
3. According to your feedback, you say "this kind of activity is.." needs to be changed to "this kind of activities is.." .  
  
Don't people normally use "these kinds of activities are.." or "this kind of activity is.." ?  
Again, I really appreciate your support. Thank you very much!
Hi Rick, thank you for writing back to us and we do appreciate every feedback and words of appreciation are the kind of words that get us going.  
  
Now, to address your concerns, please find my insights below;  
  
1. What is the difference between "Access of" and "Access to"?  
Well, the difference is, "access of" is when one has the privilege of using such access and "access to" is when one has the option of using one thing or not, while both has the right to use or enter but they have other options to do so  
  
2. What should I use between "Helpful to something" and "Helpful in something"?  
In this phrase, it really depends on how you use it, nevertheless, I believe it will be appropriate to use "to assist or give assistance " rather than the word "help", personally,the word "help" shouts desperation, however, if it is necessary to convey your idea then it will suffice.  
  
3. According to your feedback, you say "this kind of activity is.." needs to be changed to "this kind of activities is..".  
  
Don't people normally use "these kinds of activities are.." or "this kind of activity is.."?  
In this area, it should be written, "These kinds of activities are....",again it depends on how it will run in the sentence and the need of the phrase in sending your message across.  
  
There you have it Rick, I hope the above remarks help and do let us know should you need further assistance.
Rick, it sounds to me like you were supposed to write a comparison essay based upon the title that includes versus (vs.) in the title. This implies a comparison is to be done in the essay. Therefore, your essay should have followed the structure as follows: 1 Introduction (that includes your choice or side supported) , 1 discussion paragraph opposing your stand, 1 paragraph supporting your stand, then a summation in the form of a conclusion. In this instance, you only supported one side and thoroughly discussed that aspect of your essay. However, even in a persuasive essay, you need to discuss both sides in order to successfully persuade the reader or, as in this case, present a convincing comparison essay.  
  
The overall content of the essay is well discussed and supported. You made a convincing discussion supporting your side. You understood the prompt and knew exactly what you wished to say. Those are the positive aspects of your essay that made it strong. It's weakness, lies in its one sided discussion of the prompt provided.
Dr Tomas is a psychologist who carried out research or almost a decade between people's perception on their abilities and their true abilities to do something in 40 nations across the world. Interestingly, he found there were least relations between confidence and competent. He also pointed out that up to 70% of people is overconfidence. There are two personal benefits of being overconfidence based on recent psychology publications and motivation books. First, it is feel good for people to imagine themselves as an outstanding person and secondly, these misconception may useful to help others.  
  
However, Dr Tomas revealed that there are several dire effects of overconfidence such as gamblers and people who miscalculate their ability to pay loans and mortgage. Overconfidence has also linked to several health problems such as people with obesity issue or their addiction on smoking and drinking. Thus, his solution is that people need to maintain their low confidence for the personal advantages and for other's benefit. He added that low confidence is essential factor for people to remains humble and it is also shows their willingness to accept suggestions.  
  
Source: youtube..../watch?v=WtjSCoq8pE4&t=284s
... research F or almost a decade ~~between~~ REGARDING people's perception ~~on~~ OF their abilities  
... true abilities ~~to do something~~ in 40 nations across the world.  
...there ~~were least~~ WAS LITTLE relation~~s~~ between confidence and ~~competent~~ COMPETENCE.  
...70% of people ARE ~~overconfidence~~ OVERCONFIDENT.  
benefits ~~of~~ FROM being ~~overconfidence~~ OVERCONFIDENT based on recent ~~p~~ Psychology publications ...  
First, it is ~~feel~~ good for ~~people~~ A PERSON to imagine [sthemselves HIMSELF as ...  
... these misconceptionS may BE useful ~~to help~~ IN HELPING others.  
  
... are several ~~dire~~ NEGATIVE effects STEMMING FROM ~~of~~ overconfidence ...  
... ON PEOPLE such as gamblers and people...  
Overconfidence ~~has~~ IS also linked ...  
people with obesity issueS or their addiction ~~on~~ TO smoking ...  
... low confidence for ~~the~~ personal advantages and for ~~other's benefit~~ THE BENEFIT OF OTHERS.  
... confidence is AN essential factor for people to remain~~s~~ humble...
It cannot be denied that famous people surrounded by paparazzi who often take such photographs and video recordings for money purposes. Some people believe their action is really disturbing celebrity's daily routine and it is violating the human right because they tend to ignore the privacy of celebrities. However, the paparazzi itself think that it is nonsense because once they choose their job to be widely known by people then their privacy is sharply gone as it become public consumption. What is become more negative is when the paparazzi are not having the license to take such daily documentation because they belong to none of company but they do capturing famous people as a freelancer to get paid. The freelancer paparazzi is not only have the chance to spread rotten news but also have lack of knowledge of the journalist ethics as they are frequently capturing famous people going out with their children without even thinking whether such action would be affecting the psychology of their children or not.  
  
Sources: readitenglish..../read/acgAc9#
Hi, kiki23! Here are some possible modifications you can make to your writing.  
This will hopefully strengthen your writing in the future.  
  
It ~~cannot be denied~~(is an undeniable fact) that ~~famous people surrounded by paparazzi who often take ...~~(paparazzi often take pictures and record videos of celebrities for their financial purposes)  
  
Some people believe their action ~~is~~ really ~~disturbing celebrity's daily routine~~(disturbs celebrities' daily routines) and ~~it is violating~~(violates) the human right ...  
  
~~However,~~ The paparazzi ~~itself~~(themselves) , however , think that it is non-sense (or not true) . Because once they choose their ~~job~~(jobs) to be widely known ...  
  
Editor's note: I think putting "however" in the middle of a sentence is more recommended than putting it at the beginning when writing an essay/research paper.
What is become more negative is when the paparazzi are not having ...  
=> The situation has become even worse for the paparazzi when they do not possess any licenses that allow them to take daily documentations. Because they do not belong to none of companies, they resort to capturing celebrities on their films or pictures and sell them to customers for their living as a freelancer.  
  
The freelancer paparazzi is not only have the chance to spread rotten news ...  
=> The freelancer paparazzi does not only have the chance to spread rumor but also have lack of ethical knowledge that a proper journalist must acquire as they keep taking pictures of famous people going out with their children without asking them or their permissions. They at least need to consider if their action will affect the psychology of the children.
Hello kiki23, I will give you my opinions about your article summarize.  
  
It cannot be denied *('is an undeniable statement' is better to used)* that famous people **are** surrounded by paparazzi ...  
Some people ~~believe~~*(believed that)* their action ~~is~~*(are)* really disturbing celebrity's daily routine*(s)* and ~~it is~~ violating the human ...  
However, the paparazzi ~~itself~~ ('themselves' refers to the next sentece, you use plural form for 'the paparazi) think ~~that~~ it is nonsense because once **they** choose **their** job to be widely known by *(other)* people then their privacy ...  
  
What is become*(ing)* more negative (impacts) is when the paparazzi are ...  
The freelancer paparazzi ~~is~~*(are)* not only have (...) journalist ethics as **they** are frequently capturing ...  
  
I have an advice for you, you should avoid repitition words too much. You used 'paparazi' words for four times. Maybe you can replace it with the other words or describe the paparazi, such as 'people who collect information about celebrities'.
Hi Risky, below are my thoughts on your essay;  
  
- It cannot be denied that famous people are surrounded  
- by paparazzi, who often take  
- ~~such~~ photographs and video recordings for money purposes.  
- really disturbing the celebrity's daily routine  
- and it is violating the human rights because they  
- ~~as it~~and they become public consumption.  
- What is become more negative, is when the paparazzi  
- are not ~~having the~~ licensed to take such  
- they don't belong to ~~none of~~any company  
- but they do ~~capturing~~capture famous people  
- as a freelancer ~~to~~and they get paid.  
- The freelancer paparazzi ~~is~~does not only  
- ~~have~~get the chance  
- but also ~~have lack of~~are not knowledgeable of the journalist ethics  
- ~~as~~and they ~~are~~ frequently  
- ~~capturing~~capture famous people  
  
There you have it Risky, I hope the above remarks are helpful to your revision.
Hello Kiki,  
here some inputs for you.  
  
It cannot be denied that famous people **are** surrounded by paparazzi **put comma here** who often take ~~such~~ photographs and ...  
... action is really disturbing **the** celebrity's  
... privacy is sharply gone as it**and it** become public consumption.  
... when the paparazzi are not ~~having the~~ license**D** to take such**any** daily documentation because they **do not** belong to ~~none of~~**any** company but they do ~~capturing~~**capture** famous people as a ...  
  
The freelancer paparazzi ~~is~~**does** not only ~~have~~**get** the chance to...  
  
**Good Luck!**
Hi Kiki,  
  
Below some feedback from me:  
  
It IS UNDENIABLE~~cannot be denied~~ that famous people IS surrounded by (...) and capture videos without their knowledge for money purpose.  
  
... action is really disturbing TO celebrity's daily routine ...  
  
... is nonsense because once ~~they~~ FAMED PEOPLE choose their job (...) gone as it becomeS public consumption.  
  
~~What is become more negative is~~ ( how about using this lines instead: This condition is getting worse... ) when the paparazzi are ...  
  
I hope this helps,  
Cheers.
The given three pie chart information on the spending of a Homeland school in three different years with the 20 years interval starting from 1980. 1990 and 2000. Overall , from the three priod there is difference calculation annual spending , where there is an increase and a decrease in annual expenditures.  
  
Firstly in 1980 quantity annual expenditures in the field higher education have lowest percentage only reach 35 %. Compared another year in 1990 amount higher education 45% and in 2000 total 40%. Meanwhile in the field K-12 Education in 1980 of the total annual expenditures to the tune of 25% and in 1990 with the smaller amount total 20%. And annual expenditures in 2000 only 18 %. Proportion on transportation in 1980 total annual expenditures 16% and decline in 1990 with total 6 %. In 2000 there is an increased with total 22%. Expenditure on health and human resources in 1990 increase with total 20 % before decreasing to 10% by the end of priode in contrast, Similarly, the cost of environmental services saw a rising trend, growing from only 4% to 9% by 2000. while others decreased from 6% to 1% in 2000.
Ielts writing TASK 2 - Problems in grammar and words usage  
  
Every kind of help in order to improve the essay and my overall writhing will be hugely appreciated  
  
Nowadays, the results of the fast-paced development in many technological areas is ubiquitous. The recent upgrades in the computers and modems technology provide opportunities for nearly every worker to complete a huge percentage of their tasks and duties from their homes. In my opinion, this approach should be encourage, because of two main reason. First, it is less stressful for both employees and employers and second it just saves a lot of time.  
  
Every worker knows how stressful and annoying can be to share an office with 50 or more people. The office environment provides so many distractions and it is much harder to concentrate on your work than In the home environment. When you work in home conditions, you are able to give yourself the mist suitable surrounding area for you needs. Moreover, there are not any people to distract you or burden your working experience. When you are in home, you can easily boost your productivity and in the same time diminish the stress, because of the absence of other people.  
  
It is something completely ordinary to travel more than hour in order to reach your work place. To travel during the rush-hours is a serious problem for most of the employees in today's business environment. The amount of time wasted in the traffic jams is bigger than you actually think. It is scientifically proven that the average worker spends annually about 1000 hours in driving to their offices. Just imagine, if this time was used by the workers on their assignments. If the employees work in their own homes, they can easily save and reassign a lot of their time in more productive activities.  
  
At the end of the day, I think working in home environment is less stressful and more efficient. It not only saves a lot of time, but furthermore helps the workers to be more concentrated and motivated on their assignments.
**Describe some job positions that may be lost because of computers, and discuss at least one problem**  
  
From the last century, the technology has increased more and more with high speed. Along with advanced technology, computer has grown. They are many big benefits. We can use internet service to connected people over the world, expanding knowledge, developing economy,... However, computer has some disadvantages as well.  
  
One of the most disadvantage is unemployment. A number of jobs have been lost when computers have replace many positions. Postman, who delivers letters, money and others thing, is disappeared because of express, email and ATM machine.  
  
Nowadays, people use computer system and cash machine instead of hiring many employees as before. In the past, accountants used pen and paper for records. With computer technology advanced, it needs few employees. Computer help saving human sources but causing unemployment.  
  
Librarian, a position in library, is not exist now because automatic computers have been installed. Formerly, Librarian must remember all book and its location. Now, it is not necessary. A computer system help them to do that. In addition, Electric book invention, called ebook take the place a part of traditional books. Ebook is smaller and more convenient than books. People can save a huge of ebook in their in smartphones, computers.  
  
The number of position lost to computers grows, unemployment continues to get worse. Thus, I hope technology developing more and more, along with many new positions will be invented to resolve the human sources problems
Hi Luu, below are my thoughts for your essay;  
  
- ~~From~~Over the last century,  
- the technology has increased ~~more and more with~~at high speed.  
- Along with advanced technology,the computer system has grown.  
- They are ~~many~~a lot of big benefits.  
- We can use the internet service to get connected to people  
- all over the world,  
- expanding knowledge, developing economy,~~...~~and a lot more advantages that we have never expected to happen.  
  
- One of ~~the most~~this disadvantage is unemployment.  
- A number of jobs ~~have been~~are lost ~~when~~and computers ~~have~~ replace many positions.  
- Postman, who delivers letters, money and other~~s~~ things~~, is~~has disappeared  
- ~~because of~~due to express, email and ATM machine.  
- ~~Nowadays, p~~P eople use computer system  
  
There you have it Luu, I left a few sentences for you to practice editing yourself by following the corrections made above.  
I hope this helps and also, when you write, refrain from using a continues period like (......), instead, you can say, "and so on" or you can add a closing phrase.
**Describe some job positions that may be lost because of computers, and discuss at least one problem**  
  
In the modern world, the technology has developing more and more. Thank to technology, the life becomes easier. People can save much time and money with the help of this advanced technology. As you know, technology gives human a lot of benefits. Besides the advantages, there are disadvantages also.  
  
A number of jobs have been lost as a direct result of the advanced technology. Postman are almost nonexistent at present. Nowaday, people prefer sending an e-mail message to using the usual hand-written letters. People use the ATM machines to send or get money instead of postman. Besides, when apps like Uber and Grab taxi are on a strong development, the taxi coordinator, will become gradually "extinct". They are replaced by the intelligent applications, which can help passengers self-selecting vehicles and places to go. For another example, if you go to the libraries now, many new computers have been installed for helping people instead of librarians like in the past. Therefore, the unemployment continues to get worse.  
  
As you know, computers can help people save much time and money, but they are not flexible. If customers have a unique request or problem, it is difficult for computer to solve in the best way. An automated bank machine cannot provide assistance enthusiastically to customers. For example, if you lose your credit card, the bank machine can not help you. Besides, in the library, there are many elderly people who don't know how to use the computers and can't find anyone to help.  
  
Technology plays the important role in many job positions. However, the technology have been increasing day by day is the reason for few losing job positions, especially some job positions require little education.
hello I'll give you a little idea  
  
~~Postman are~~ ( Postman is or Postmen are )almost nonexistent at present.  
~~Nowaday~~ (nowadays), people prefer sending an ...  
... strong development, the taxi ~~coordinator,~~ (If you have placed the subject of your sentence directly next to the verb, it is incorrect to use a comma to separate the subject and verb) will become gradually "extinct".  
  
... the bank machine ~~can not~~ ( cannot) help you.
Hi Tuyet, below are my thoughts on your essay.  
  
- In the modern world, ~~the~~ technology has ~~developing more and more~~developed rapidly .  
- Thanks to technology, ~~the~~ life becomes easier.  
- People ~~can~~ save ~~much~~a lot of time and money with  
- the help of ~~this~~ advanced technology.  
- As ~~you~~we know, technology gives  
- ~~human~~people a lot of benefits.  
  
- A number of jobs ~~have been~~are lost as a  
- direct result of ~~the advanced~~this advancement in technology.  
- Postmans, for example, are almost nonexistent at present.  
- Nowadays , people prefer sending ...  
- ~~to using~~than the usual hand-written letters.  
- People use the ATM machines to send or ~~get~~take money instead of a postman.  
- Besides, when apps like Uber and Grab taxi ~~are on a strong development~~were developed ,  
- help passengers ~~self-selecting~~select vehicles ~~and places to go~~ .  
- ~~For a~~A nother example, if you go to the libraries now,  
- many new computers ~~have~~has been installed ~~for helping~~to help people  
- instead of librarians ~~like in the past~~ .  
  
There you have it Tuyet, I hope the above remarks help you in your revision and for future writing reference, mind your sentence construction as this will have an overall impact to your essay.