dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
At 163 words, the writer still has room to improve his presentation paragraphs. Just to be clear, he could have done a better job at presenting the summary overview since it is way too short for the presentation. The summary should have at least 2 sentences in the presentation or 40 words. It must be more descriptive in relation to the content of the image. He should have done come up with a summary overview that was similar in the number of sentences to the trending statement.  
  
Work on developing better sentence presentations. The writer has the right idea in the paragraphs. He does his best to present his thoughts in a coherent manner, but his lack of control over the sentence presentations tend to blur and confuse the reader. The reader has to read the passage several times before finally understanding what he is trying to say. It is imperative that he does his best to improve his sentence structures so that he can get his message across in a manner that will avoid GRA deductions.
***Some people think that newspapers are the best way to learn news. However, others believe that they can learn news better through other media.***  
## Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

  
  
Full essay:  
  
People's opinions diverge as to the way humans get access to the latest information. Although newspapers are indeed an excellent source of news, it is by no means the ultimate way to stay informed with news compared with social networking sites.  
  
Admittedly, keeping abreast of data via newspapers provides society with a sum of merits. First off, newspapers are worth confiding in as their data are official sources. In detail, newspapers have to undergo a range of verifications and studies of prestigious journalists before being printed and in order to avoid any mistakes and wrong information. As a result, this source of information has been preserved and stuck to for decades. Furthermore, unlike websites on the Internet, newspapers are well-arranged and clear of advertisements, which prevent people from getting distracted. That is why relying on newspapers is time-consuming and conducive especially to teenagers since they are easily lured towards ads and other attractive offers. Consequently, the coalescence of the aforementioned reasons would lead many to go for write-ups to become knowledgeable.  
  
However, in the tech era, the internet is a more advantageous way for humans to be fully informed about what happens around the world thanks to convenience and evident images. To begin with, finding news on social networks is undemanding since there are myriad articles relating to the concern by several keywords. People who are in a rush in the morning for work, for instance, can gather up-to-the-minute news immediately in their car or at the office free of charge. Some may argue that the internet is not trustworthy yet people can have faith in a host of authentic websites that have maintained their reputations for accurate reports such as BBC News, CNN News, New York Times,... Another reason worth taking into consideration is that social media contains more vital materials in terms of images. Explicitly, viewers are given real-life interviews and vivid sports matches despite not attending. As a result, it is undeniable that mass media play a key role in humans' staying in touch with current and breaking news.  
  
In conclusion, while traditional newspapers have been long trusted and well-organized, I am of the notion that networks attached with depictions could undoubtedly get the upper hand in learning news.  
  
Hello, could you please point out my mistakes and calculate a band score for this essay? How could I reach 7-7.5 score in IELTS Writing? Thanks in advance <3
The prompt restatement contains information inaccuracies and a lack of personal opinion presentation that forces it to receive a failing TA score. Failing in this section of the preliminary score guarantees the writer will not meet his target score. Avoiding misinforming the reader by referring to data not included in the orginal prompt and meeting the personal opinion statement requirement will help the writer avoid a failing score in this section next time.  
  
The writer is not discussing the points of view in the required manner which is a comparison of the public opinion and the personal opinion over 2 paragraphs that represent each public point of view. The writer wrote a general discussion instead that came across solely as a personal opinion. The paragraphs do not meet the discussion requirements. This essay cannot receive a passing score because of these mistakes.
## The number of visitors to four London museums

  
  
The line graph illustrates how many tourists came to four different museums from June to October in London.  
In general, it is obvious that the number of people visiting all mentioned museums recorded a downward trend, while British Museum was the opposite. In addition, National Museum was consistently in the last place.  
  
In the first two months, a similar pattern was observed in History Museum, British Museum, and Science Museum, with approximately 400,000 people. Meanwhile, the figure for that in National Museum reached a plateau at roughly 200,000 people. A striking feature was that August experienced significant growth in all museums apart from Science Museum, with over 700,00 people opting for British Museum, followed by History Museum and National Museum with 600,000 and 300,000 visitors, respectively. However, this figure in Science Museum remained unchanged at over 400,000 people.  
  
Regarding the month of September, it is noticeable that both History Museum, British Museum and National Museum experienced a spectacular fall and a constant decrease in the last month. Furthermore, the number of holidaymakers traveling to Science Museum rose by about 100,000 people, compared to the previous month, before dropping dramatically to 300,000 visitors in October.  
  
*   
*bar chart*
Misidentifying the image will result in a failing TA score. The image presented is a bar chart. It is not a line graph.The essay immediately starts out with a failing preliminary score.something that can very well force an automatic overall failing score due to clear reporting errors and inaccuracies.  
  
The writer should enumerate the 4 aforementioned museums in the summary overview. This listing will help keep the reader better informed when he references the 2 museums in the trending statement. The listing is a standard part of the summary overview and should never be omitted for any reason as it ties in directly with the trending statement every time.  
  
There is an error in the information presented in the summary overdewthat will cause accuracy deductions. Note that the measurements are from Jrene to December, not October. Such inaccurate reporting carry hearry deductions in related sections.  
  
The inaccuracy continues throughout the report with references to "a similar pattern was observed" without first indicating what that pattern was. The writer tends to get ahead of his thoughts, without checking for accuracy and completeness after he drafts his report. He truely expects to get a passing score with his inaccurate reporting presentation and writing style. Sadly, his missteps will result in a failing score instead.
## the consumption of fish and different kinds of meat

  
  
The line graph illustrates the amount of fish and various types of meat in European nation over a period of twenty-five years.  
  
Overall, there was a considerable increase in the amount of chicken consumed, and in addition to this, the European expended the least on fish during the examined period.  
  
In 1979, around 220 grams of beef was consumed while the consumption of chicken and lamp were nearly 150 grams. In contrast, many Europeans chose negligible amount of fish which its figure was approximately 52 grams. Over the following five years, it is clear that various kinds of meat such as beef and lamp saw a downward trend, around 160 grams and 120 grams respectively. The amount of fish also declined slightly below 50 grams. In contrast, the consumption of chicken had a gradual rise by 10 grams per week.  
  
Between 1984 and 2004, the consumption of chicken experienced a significant surge and overtook other nutrition as the primary nourishment in Europe, before reaching the peak at 250 grams. Reversely, beef and lamp consumption fell rapidly which its respective figures were approximately 120 grams and 52 grams only. The expenditure on fish stabilized at the number of European consumers over the last years.  
  
*   
*Here's the topic*
A listing of the data for comparison should be indicated in the summary overview. The listing is used to assist the reader when reading the trending summary in the next part of the presentation. Without the previous listing, the reason for indicating the number of items in the summary becomes unimportant and irrelevant. Only when the complete listing is included does the importance of the high and low trends in the general trending statement become useful in the presentation.  
  
With regards to the trending statement, the writer should follow the line trend in the creation of the report. A trend is composed of the high and low measurements in the graph. So the mention should be for the highest and lowest points in the graph, even if the items to be indicated are not the same. Additionally, the reference to European in the trending paragraph is out of place. The writer was referring to the region itself, which is Europe, the residents are called Europeans. He was referring to the country rather than the people so the regional reference should have been used instead. He may have also used the reference "European market" instead to clearly refer to the sales of the items within the region.  
  
He must take more care when writing and reporting on terms from the image. There is no "lamp" indicated. The sales of "lamb" were discussed though. These types of spelling errors are the kind that show a lack of proof reading, editing, and disinterest in providing a paper that will score highly. The errors here indicate that the writer is not interested in getting a passing score, he just wants to complete the test.  
  
The first completion of writing is known as the draft. The writer is expected to review his writing for spelling errors and sentence improvements. He must correct those errors. Then, he must revierw it again for polishing with additional information that may have been missed the first time and other mistakes that might have previously been missed. Another correction should follow after this. Only after a 2 review process should the writer be a bit confident to pass the paper for grading. Do not just aim to complete the writing. Aim to complete a properly proof-read and edited paper for a higher passing score.
## time to travel around a city

  
  
The table shows how long it takes to travel around a city before and after the transport network is raised. Also, the bar chart presents how much it costs to travel to other forms of transport in the city.  
  
Using the tram will most greatly go down the amount of time. It cuts the time down from 22 minutes to 16 minutes. Similar to the tram, the bus is slightly faster than before. But even so, it still takes 23 minutes. Even after the fastest forms of transport have grown, taxis are still 3 minutes slower. However, taxis are getting to the quickest mode of transport in the city.  
  
By contrast, the bar chart reveals taxis are the most pricey means of transport, spending nearly Є1.80. The car that costs around Є1.00 will be on the following list. While trams and buses are less expensive, charging almost as much as Є0.40 and Є0.20 each.  
  
Overall, traveling by bus or tram is always slower than using a car or taxi, but they have a lower price.  
  
One more useless thread title = BAN
I am not sure what you mean by"raised" in reference to the city transportation. Since there is no image for comparison to your statement, I am left confused by that sentence. In an actual test, you will receive deductions for every confusing sentence written. Such GRA problems will result in a failing score for that section. Always assume a lack of image on the part of the audience then formulate the report accordingly.  
  
There is no need to reference the other image as "also" since it does not refer to information related to the first image. The nest image should have a different and stand-alone presentation. The wrong connecting word or transition reference was used in this case.  
  
Overall, the writer has not developed an understandable analytical uport. He has clearly shown that he has a problem when it comes to English sentence development and word usage. These are areas of concern that he must focus on.
Establish the foundation for the research paper and information in a better manner. Create a more solid and interesting opening statement first. That means the actual discussion and citations should be present in the 2nd paragraph instead of the first. For the opening section explain why the overprescription should be considered a pandemic, what sort of effects it has on patients, why it should be stopped, and possible ways of preventing it. Give a discussion overview first, then begin the major and minor discussions in the next / succeeding paragraphs. As of now, there is no real intention behind this paper this would create a need for someone to beinterested in its content. While the information is useful, the establishing facts need to be presented first.  
  
There is a sense of the writer not being interested in the writing itself. Save for the use of constant citations which helped to actually create paragraphs, there would not be any useful content in the paper. Where is the writers analysis of the given data? What does the writer understand the text to mean? Aside from the researched work of others, why did the writer not conduct any personal research, surveys, and interviews to establish a general opinion based on first hand information? These would have helped better establish the paper as valid and authoritative.
## the issue of student's curriculum

  
  
Choosing appropriate subjects at school is always a controversial matter not only in academic society but also in general community. Some individuals suppose that challenging subjects like math and philosophy should not be taught in the learning curriculum While a number of other people hold the opposing opinion that students can choose what subjects they learn at school due to the difficulty of those subjects. From my perspective, I totally disagree with this viewpoint and I will present my reasons with specific examples in this essay.  
  
First of all, important subjects are basic knowledge that every students should have regardless of their races, nationalities or cultural backgrounds. With the aim of making sure that pupils have primary lessons and essential knowledge, learning institutions have to prioritise the tough subjects like Mathematics. Asian education system is a case of point.Boards of school directors stimulate students study these kinds of subjects so that they are easily likely continue higher education or even get a well-paid jobs thanks to being professional in those vital cources that enterprises are looking for.  
  
Another season for keeping harsh subjects is thinking development. Learners have a chance of promoting their ways of assessing problems logically. Although such subjects may be hardship to a relative number of people, they gradually encourage pupils to think and find out good solutions. According to worldwide researches, top intelligent scientists are good at calculation, physics and even philosophy.  
  
In conclusion, schools and government can take a feasible measure by reducing amount of curriculum but it is necessary to keep crucially hard subjects as compulsary ones.
There is a confusing prompt restatement presented here. The writer is not presenting opposing points of view. Rather, he is presenting the same opinion twice. I believe he rushed through the writing of the prompt restatement and did not realize that his interpretation was not on the mark in relation to the original presentation. I read the paragraph several times and still found myself confused by his statement. This will definitely result in a failing GRA score due to the confusing statement presented.  
  
The writer is offering an over reaching reasoning discussion by including a reference to race, nationality, and cultural background. He should just keep the reasoning simple, based on his personal experiences if possible, rather than using reasoning points that will be difficult to defend in a single paragraph. It actually results in further confusion in the presentation, now affecting the coherence and cohesiveness of the presentation.  
  
I do not understand what the schools and government have to do with the discussion. These were not part of the original prompt discussion. The sudden inclusion of the need to have schools and governments offer solutions to the problem resulted in an open ended essay. Without a proper summary conclusion, this essay is risking receiving an overall failing score.
## handcraft superiority

  
  
Nowadays, with the development of society, production processes with the support of technology have pushed to a new level. Handmade products are also fading away. Although producing by machines is faster and more economical. However, I prefer handmade products because when made by hand each is unique in its way. Machine-made goods lack this uniqueness.  
  
Firstly, handmade products are always environmentally friendly. When mass production by machinery, it will release a lot of waste into the environment, even many factories do not treat the waste but discharge it directly into the sea. This leads to serious pollution in some localities. For example, the Environmental Crime Investigation Department of Nghe An Province Police fined Song Lam Sugar Joint Stock Company which directly discharges thousands of cubic meters of untreated, causing the river to flow. Dinh Son commune is polluted and stinks. In contrast, handmade products always allow consumers to actively use and reuse a quality product rather than constantly buying new replacement products.  
  
Secondly, handmade products contribute to the development of the community and the local economy. The preservation and development of craft villages will help the economic development of the localities, providing jobs for people to earn extra income. At the same time, it helps to preserve the beauty of the culture and traditions of our country. Some traditional craft villages are still developing such as Bat Trang Pottery Village - Hanoi, Non-Nuoc Stone Handicraft Village - Da Nang, Doi Tam Drum Village - Ha Nam,...  
  
Finally, handmade products also create their uniqueness. A unique or handmade item will be made with the attention to detail, creativity, and care of the artisans. It is worth more than any piece that is mass-produced by the thousands. This is why people are attracted to items made by individual artisans. Handmade items can take hours or even days, but machine-made items take only a few dozen minutes. This kite shows the meticulousness and specialness of these crafts.
The prompt restatement does not follow the flow of the original presentation. The first sentence is not in line with the orginal topic presentation. Due to task accuracy considerations, it is always important that the writer does not include a personal opinion, insight, or non-prompt related information. That means, any added and unsupported information will not help the score but will result in deductions instead.  
  
Though the writer does not provide structurally sound sentences, the reader will manage to understand his ideas and thoughts. The focus of the discussion is never lost. However, a task 2 essay only requires 2 reasoning paragraphs for this type of prompt. The 4th paragraph should have been a concluding summary, not a final discussion topic. The missing conclusion could result in an automatic failing score as the required format was not provided by the writer.
**Question:  
*Some people think students should study the science of food and how to prepare it. Others think students should spend time on more important subjects.***  
  
## Discuss both views and give your opinion

  
  
Some people argue that students should focus on learning about food. However, this idea was opposed by those who suppose food is not considered as a main subject and encourage students to study other subjects. Personally, I agree with the latter viewpoint because food is such a broad subject for kids to learn throughout the school term.  
  
To some extent, encouraging students to study the science of food is reasonable. Firstly, food is a necessity in our lives, no one can survive without it. Therefore, many individuals believe learning about food would be useful for children and assist them in becoming independent people. Next, cooking food also fosters the youngster's creativity and other soft skills. Based on those public opinions, I must admit that food plays an significant role in life, but I am still doubtful whether students should focus on it instead of studying other subjects.  
  
With the second argument, people think pupils should spend time on more critical subjects rather than food. They suppose the primary subjects are Math, Literature, Physics, Chemistry, etc. Food is such a wide topic that no one can cover through limited time at school, so it should be an optional course that students can choose to take. Furthermore, today's children can learn about food in a variety of ways, such as from their parents' dishes or via the Internet. As a result, children should devote time to learning subjects that they would be unable to learn outside of school. Based on what has been said so far, I totally agree with this argument, as pupils can learn about food outside of school hours.  
  
In conclusion, there are two opposing angles on whether students should spend time learning about food or other subjects at school. However, I believe that pupils should concentrate on essential courses at school and use their free time studying about food.
The prompt restatement is incomplete as it does not refer to the other point of discussion in the public point of view. The writer did not indicate that the point of view is also focused on learning how to prepare food, not just learning about food. Those are 2 different areas of food study / interest. He also said that the opposing view "supposes" something, when the original presentation indicates that it is a factual opinion for them. So there are 2 errors in this instance:  
  
- Missing one public opinion reason  
- Incorrect supporting point of view presentation  
  
These combined errors will result in a less than stellar task accuracy score.  
  
The student uses an acceptable discussion format but fails to build properly on the explanation of his personal opinion regarding each public point of view. He also uses the group pronoun "our" indicating a personal opinion. The personal opinion should only be singular in indication, it can never be a group pronoun presentation as he is not allowed to speak for a group of people in his presentation.  
  
His opinion is only a single statement of (dis)agreement in every reasoning paragraph, which does not really fully explain how his opinion came about in relation to the public discussion. So his personal opinion is considered under developed every time and will not add to the scoring consideration for the overall score.  
  
Since the exam taker failed to spot the aforementioned errors in his writing, due to his lack of editing prior to grading submission, his overwriting of the text, beyond the 300 word count was not useful to his cause. Rather than improving his work, he just heightened the error potential and subsequent scoring deductions of his essay.