dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
***Some people think students should study the science of food and how to prepare it. Others think students should spend time on important subjects.***  
## Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

  
  
**Essay:**  
  
People's opinions differ as to whether or not students should take courses on food science and preparation. Although there are some strong arguments in favour of the teaching of food as a subject in schools, I still support the view that this idea is problematic and completely impractical.  
  
The positive implications of food teaching in schools are often discussed in terms of its impact on students' dietary habits. It is recognized that teenagers engaged in nutrition education activities are more likely to make healthy food choices and have greater acceptance of eating a variety of foods. At the same time, this would also lead to reduced reliance on precooked, convenience foods that are proven to provide little nutritional value and have a detrimental effect on their health, as they are equipped with cooking skills to prepare their own meals. Clearly all of these things will ensure a nutritionally adequate and balanced diet among these students, therefore promoting health and well-being and reducing the risks of overweight and obesity in childhood and adolescence.  
  
In spite of the above arguments, I share the concerns of people who believe that the teaching of food could cause unnecessary difficulties. Firstly, there is no doubt that recipe ingredients and large pieces of equipment, such as ovens and fridges, needed for an entire class or for multiple classes might be costly. Classes in schools with low budgets therefore may lack some cooking essentials, and this could lead to limited class size or even ineffective teaching. Secondly, many schools struggle to design a specific curriculum for subjects other than the core ones, which means there may not be time for a separate food and nutrition course. This would explain why it is often integrated into the teaching of such science subjects like biology and chemistry, and currently this seems to be the best system.  
  
In conclusion, while the teaching of nutrition and food preparation in schools might seem like a good idea, I do not see it as workable and strictly necessary.*(335 words)*
This is a 5 paragraph discussion essay. The format for the information presentation should be based on a 2 paragraph general discussion along with a single paragraph personal opinion. Based on the way that you framed your prompt restatement, you failed to accomplish the required discussion format presentation. Your thesis statement is based on a singular personal opinion as opposed to the 3 reasons presentation expectation. Your restatement should clearly state each public point of view before your supporting opinion for one of the two presentations.  
  
While you wrote more than the required word count, the fact that you did not properly follow the discussion instruction means that your length did nothing for your score. It is useless to write an extremely long essay such as this, when it disregards the discussion requirement that the score will be based on. The essay focuses only on topic presentations but do not carry a clear explanation, with examples, of why these reasons should be considered proper for the discussion. There is a lack of clarity in the overall discussion presentation.
***Many believe that individuals can do little to improve the environment. Only governments and large companies can make a real difference.***  
## To what extent do you agree or disagree?

  
  
The human awareness about environment is rise rapidly day by day, following the timeline. Someone believe that each person can improve the ecosystem by contribute their little works while other think only big organizations can put on great impact. I totally disagree with the statement that only enterprises can make difference because of the following reasons under.  
  
To begin with, we can infer from society that million of small ideas that share the same build up a big thing. The activity by human, too, is considerable when it united bilion of daily activities. For instance, all of people throw trash to the sea in one day could make the marine life demolished, or people just not use the nylon bags could make the world change. Governments and large companies, for truly to say, terminate more than what they do for the better of environment; while they raise fund by revenue of workers to show their concern about nature, they dump waste to the river, discharge fumes and cut down trees in other areas.  
  
The governments are cooperate with them to take advantages from them.  
In the other hand, big companies would not make any differences if people did not agree with their activities. The customers always bigger than companies or industrials, they control every organizations. So the impact on the environment can be go up or down is depend on customers requires. For example, with the objection of customers about food wasting, the Dunkin' Donuts have to negotiate that they will be able to saving the waste money on food waste to raise fund about plant trees in some countries.  
  
In conclusion, we can see that only people are united, there will be nothing that we could not do, even the changes of ecosystem.
The human awareness about environment is rise rapidly day by day, following the timeline.  
- This sentence does not make any sense. How does this relate to information from the original prompt. You are not clear on the subject or intention of this sentence thus making it stressful for the reader to analyze. This will lower your GRA score.  
  
I totally disagree with the statement that only enterprises can make difference because of the following reasons under.  
- Another statement that does not make any sense. You could have ended the sentence at "enterprises can make difference" then offered a few reasons for the opinion rather than saying "reasons under." This leaves the reader questioning the reasons. Reasons such as? Reasons under what? Another cause for heavy GRA points deductions.  
  
The main problem with your essay is in the clarity of your presentation. I can see evidence that you understood the prompt and what you are required to discuss. The problem, is that you are not properly translating your response from your mother tongue to English. That is why the sentence structures are all incorrect, unclear, and little developed. You have to practice thinking and writing in English rather than translating from your first language to your second language. That is the big reason why your essay will fail.
Hi. As @Holt said, I believe it would have been better if you had outlined the reasons for your position at the end of the last sentence in the first paragraph as opposed to giving ambiguous indications such as "reasons under", leaving readers confused. I don't think readers, especially examiners, have the time and intertest to play a guessing game, that is, to figure out themselves what the reasons actually are. They want to know the general idea of your essay at the very first glance at it.  
  
If I write the essay, I will write "I totally disagree because individuals, however powerless they seem, can play a major role in environmental protection **even through the simplest acts such as not littering**"  
  
Personally, I do not like your example "all of people throw trash to the sea in one day..." Perhaps you live by the sea, but there are a great many people who live in inner villages, towns and citys, and I don't think you example goes down well with them. In addition, domestic sewage and industrial easte are discharged at sea **everyday**, not "in one day", mostly at the hands of companys such as chemical plants instead of individuals.  
  
Why not use simpler and clearer examples? Such as not littering. If most of people put trash in the bin rather than throw it carelessly, the environment will be more pleasant. That is the demonstration of individuals' power.
## becoming high school teachers is losing its popularity

  
  
Teaching used to be one of the most appealing and rewarding job, but nowadays many countries are facing teachers shortage issue, especially in elementary school. In this essay, I will discuss the main reasons which lead to this problem, and solutions to solve it.  
  
First of all, low salaries might be one of the main reasons why more and more people are reluctant to join teaching industry. In comparision, teachers earn less than those who work in other career such as financial, construction and technology. In some nations, instructors' salary barely covers the necessities in life. As a result, they had to find another part-time jobs or even provide extra classes to earn more money for their families, which make they feel exhausted. A solution is for the government to increase teachers' salary and give more remuneration so that their lives can be ensured. For example, in Singapore, the government has granted a variety of welfare for teachers, thus, being teachers is one of the top choice for new graduates.  
  
The problem could also be ascribed to the highly burden of work that schools and parents are posed on teachers. It is common that an instructor work more than eight hours per day programming the class curriculum , marking students' performances and lecturing. However, their contributions are usually be left when a student failed the exams as the public used to blame on teachers' teaching skills despite the fact that students have to take responsible for their study. Consequently, some instructors might feel stresses, and even find it more difficult to maintain a work - life balance. The way forward might be to apply technology to help with the work load. Also, creating a community for teachers to share their work- life stories could help reduce job difficulties and motivate more people to join this industry.  
  
To conclude, teachers shortage is now becoming one of the biggest issues facing education. However, this problem can be solved if the government provide better policies and raise people acknowledge of teachers' high society status.
The first sentence is a run-on. Try to limit your sentences to a true mix of simple and complex presentations. the constant use of commas in a presentation results in a run-on which will cause GRA deductions in your score. There is a need for a proper thesis statement in the last part which will offer a response to the question, while also allowing the reader to understand what question you were asked and responded to. It is not enough to simply repeat the instructions in that section. In an actual academic paper, you will need to be able to properly cite your case, reasons, and solutions. That is what the examiner is looking for. Evidence that you know how to write in the UK and US academic standards.  
  
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Well, I would like to have some feedback on your writing.  
1/ You have made a big mistake in your restatement. The topic is about "*secondary schools*", not "~~elementary school~~".  
2/ You were really careless in your writing. There are a huge number of spelling and grammar mistakes that surely will reduce your score. I will just mention a few of them: ~~comparision~~ -> *comparison*; ~~highly~~ -> *high*; ~~teachers shortage~~ -> *teacher shortage*.  
  
3/ You could take into consideration element relating to word choice in your essay, such as '~~join teaching industry~~' should be '*enter the teaching profession*' or "*designing the lesson plan*" rather than "*programming the class curriculum*" as to "**program**" is to "*write a series of instructions that make a computer perform a particular operation*" (from a online dictionary).
## celebrities presence in the mass media

  
  
Nowadays, the media spends much time to find out the lives of celebrities and their private relationships. They always have to update their lives in order to catch public's eyes. While normal people are rarely appeared on the first page of daily news. I think the media should change their object and pay more attention to the ordinary people.  
  
If the media continues concentrating on the lives and relationships of well-known people, it will put pressure on celebrities when they cannot live normally and comfortably like others. For example, there was many famous people put an end to their life because that was too much for them to bear. They do not have freedom to do normal things like go shopping, hang out with their friends and date in public when they are followed by paparazzi. That activities must be severely criticized when the life of stars is being violated. Therefore, the private lives of celebrities must be secured against and the media should usually report news about usual people.  
  
Secondly, the public almost do not care about the ordinary people life because there is no reason that the public can read more about them. They just interest in the famous people though there are also the large amount of the achievement that normal people gained. Such as volunteers who help the poor too much by their charity. Moreover, a businessman who try their best to establish and expand their businesses from starting-point and become successful businessman. In my opinion, the mass media should report the award of celebrities and ordinary people because it brings us a positive energy and encourages us to be more hard-working and active in the life.  
  
To sum up, I strongly believe that the mission of mass media is to convey the essential and good news about awards that man obtained. They can report the lives of celebrities but in a certain limit and change to the ordinary people life.
As this is an extent essay, your actual opinion must be presented in the paraphrasing section to help represent your thesis statement. In essence, the concluding paragraph that you wrote should be in the restatement section because it offers information the examiner is looking for:  
  
- A clear opinion on the topic  
- Reasons for your opinion  
- A complete assessment of the discussion topic  
  
Combined, these would all help to increase your TA score as your opinion will be immensely clear to the examiner. Always remember that you are first scored on the clarity of your opinion and understanding of the given topic before anything else.  
  
It also appears that you have misunderstood the original topic for the discussion. Comparing it to the original prompt, I see the following response error:  
  
OT: They have no right to complain when they feel the media are intruding on their privacy.  
YT: I think the media should change their object and pay more attention to the ordinary people.  
  
it would appear that there is a prompt deviation in your restatement. Since you did not provide the original prompt for this topic, I am basing this assumption on the commonly used prompt for this. Now, if you are responding to a different topic, then you should have included the original prompt for a more accurate review. As far as I can read, and as far as I know, your essay does not meet passing score guidelines.
## declining numbers of science students

  
  
In recent years, it is impossible to deny the fact that science students have limited in comparison with another field. Likewise, people wonder that how many issues were caused by this trend. An upcoming essay will provide some explanation for this reason.  
  
At first, students have a desired to be a successful man in a short time without being not too hard work and patience, while science requires a great deal of time devoted for studying, particularly in researching. Science students have to stick to university for 4-6 years and take specific course, training period,... to start their career path if they still have their passion. Secondly, engrossing in study means students have to minimize their leisure time to reap a benefits of searching.  
  
Furthermore, governments must to launching a full- scale investigation to find out people and recruit them for their laboratories because science plays an important part in our life. For example, various kind of diseases is said to be harsh to find a medicine that lacking of scientists and specialists in this field are one of the reason for this problem. The less science experts, the more money invested in this this domain.  
  
In conclusion, although the number of meritorious science student increased significantly, it's not an impossible mission to resolve if governments maximize their profits and regard them as essential force.
I cannot continue to review this essay as it falls under the minimum word count. Out of 250 words, you have only provided a 225 word discussion. That means the full essay is going to be considered under developed and lacking in substance (coherence and clarity of discussion). There is no clear discussion path provided in response to the prompt questions in the restatement either. The lack of thesis representation made the paraphrase slightly confusing to read as the point of the discussion and your opinion are not clear to the reader. Like i said, It is difficult for me to accurately judge your ability to properly respond to the prompt due to the short word count. It would be better for you to practice writing within the minimum word count first to ensure that you will not receive word shortage penalties at the start of the essay scoring consideration. When you are short on the word count, it is often difficult to garner a passing score at the end.
## **Reasons to support the idea of having new teachers each year**

  
  
In this day and age, many people argue that students should be instructed by only one teacher during their school time while others support the idea that students can have more advantages from having different teachers. From my perspective, the latter is better for the students.  
  
First and foremost, each teachers with the unique method of conveying knowledge can provide their students different ways of approaching subjects. For instance, there are some teachers advise learners read the whole Ielts reading articles before checking the questions and others tend to do the opposite. Moreover, having new teachers every year will give students opportunities to find out suitable learning method that they should follow for the best results.  
  
On the opposite side, having the same teacher for several years can lead to the boredom among students that distract them from lessons. Consequently, this situation might badly affect the performances of students at school.  
  
In conclusion, although some people may claim that children should follow one teacher, I support the idea that different teachers can help students well for their education.
The mere fact that you wrote only 178 words assures that this presentation will not get a passing score. The minimum word count is 250 words. Writing less than that number will result in severe percentage deductions in the TA section. The pre-scoring count for your essay, without considering the other scoring sections yet, will already be in the failing range. Once the collective errors are added up, in addition to the word count deductions, it will be difficult for you to get a passing score in the test.  
  
It is better if you support your perspective with at least 2 reasons that you will be using for your topic discussion paragraphs. That is because the reasons you provide will help support the clarity of your opinion and create a thesis statement for your essay. A thesis statement is a must in all of the academic papers written in the UK and USA. Showing the examiner you understand the format of an UK or USA academic paper will help increase your scoring considerations based on TA accuracy.  
  
Avoid using phrase fillers such as "first and foremost". These are well known phrases used to increase the word count, but not really add to the essence of the discussion. Always start off with the topic sentence instead. That is usually the rest of the presentation you have after the word filler. Be direct in all discussion presentations as these add to the clarity and coherence of your discussion. Always present a minimum of 3, maximum of 5 sentences per paragraph. That way you assure yourself of meeting the minimum word count.  
  
The concluding summary should present the summary of previous discussion. By stating the topic, your opinion, and supporting reasons in 3 sentences, you will manage to further add to the clarity of your opinion and show that you are capable of discussing the same topic in a quick but informative manner, as if you were doing a graded recitation in class.
## IELTS TASK 2 - PUBLIC TRANSPORT

  
  
**Some people think that public transport should be funded by the government so that it can be free to people who use it. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?**  
  
Public transport refers to a system that provides people with various kinds of transportation to commute ranging from buses to train. Some believe that this should be sponsored by the government so as to reduce citizens' cost of traveling. From my perspective, the fiscal budget carries no responsibility to fund public transportation.  
  
First and foremost, the owner of a traveling company is probably the first to mention while arguing about finance. These companies are usually claimed to be private enterprises instead of charitable organizations. As they follow profit-driven strategies to maximize gains, governmental financial support is of little value for them. By functioning this way, the government will receive a higher rate of income tax to solve other social issues.  
  
Furthermore, the transportation industry plays an integral part in the economic growth of many countries. It is the fundamental base of the development of other fields including tourism, supply chain, etc. As a result, it is the government that establishes enough room for private enterprises to improve their facilities such as upgrading passenger aircraft or commercial shuttles. Not only can heads of nations inextricably enhance their country's economic situation but they can also foster foreign trade and international commerce for future sustainable growth.  
  
In conclusion, it is advisable that governmental organizations bestow public transport with the opportunity to develop both on the social as well as economic aspect. Likewise, many factors are relevant to a sound and comprehensive decision on whether it should be free to all citizens.
Your discussion is short by 2 words of the minimum 250 word count. There will still be a minimal percentage deduction for the missing 2 words. I know, it is only 2 words but deductions will still be applied to your TA score, aside from the main deduction to that scoring section.  
  
The main deduction, that will be based on your discussion not being in relation to the given prompt is the way that you discussed the essay. There is a prompt deviation as the prompt indicated:  
  
OP: To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?  
R: From my perspective, the fiscal budget carries no responsibility to fund public transportation.  
  
So the essay will definitely not get a passing TA score, which will most likely result in an overall failing score. Your essay cannot be scored properly in the remaining considerations due to the fact that your essay does not meet the minimum discussion requirements based on word count and discussion instructions.