dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
We do not offer public scoring services as our scoring method is only an estimate of what score you might receive in an actual test. We only scores that use our private services as part of the review assistance offering. The free general review will give you an idea if you will pass or fail the test, regardless of the individual scoring rubic.  
  
There has been an accelerating trend  
There is a big difference between an accelerating trend and some students opting to take a gap year. You have not properly restated the original topic because your reference point is a rate of increase in an action as opposed to the original prompt which is about students preferring or opting to take a gap year after high school graduaton. They have the choice to do it or not, that is different from a trend. To be clear:  
  
Option - something that may be or is chosen; choice  
  
Prefer - to set or hold before or above other persons or things in estimation; like better;  
  
Trend - the general course or prevailing tendency  
  
The word more related to the original keyword is option because it is a decision made by choice, such as taking a gap year from school.  
  
When writing about an advantage or disadvantage topic, the idea is to argue the negatives as a positive. So choose 2 negatives for your reasoning topics, then discuss these negatives as a positive to prove your point. For example:  
  
Disadvantage - Financial Problems Advantage - The student learns to become responsible with money because he has to work for his money rather than receive an allowance.  
  
Do you see the point? It all about proving the other side of the argument to be wrong based upon your understanding of the actual advantages. This clarity of opinion based on a proper comparison discussion is what you missed pointing out in your response. You have only one positive discussion in this essay rather than 2. So the essay is not properly developed in terms of reasoning and evidence. It will only receive a score for the part of the essay that discusses the advantage. The other paragraph will not be receiving any points.
## Children should not always follow their parents' advice

  
  
Proper parenting is a part of raising children. this includes giving advice to one's children. How often advice is taken by the children is enough? Some might believe children should always follow their parents' advice. However, I consider that children should grow up in a nurturing environment that allows them to develop their sense of self.  
  
Children have numerous influences from the media, their schools, and friends but the household's guideline has the most crucial impact on their growth. They might start to be dependent on this advice if they constantly get told of what to do, how to behave, what is right and wrong. Instead, those take a step back to let their sons and daughters have their own time to handle the situation under parents' moderate supervision, treat them like a friend, not a parent.  
  
Providing a safe and supportive environment for children at an early age is recommended by experts. Instead of making your "little you" say yes to your advice, we only need to be responsible adults and act as role models for the kids to reflect on. Their creative mind and self-identity will be formed over the years and they will be a helpful kid who treats others with respect and compassion than only be advice-givers. For example, I grew up in a slightly strict house due to my parents' financial security condition and I am now their proud daughter who follows my dream and picks up myself when I fail. On the other hand, my younger sister is struggling to be on her own because she always sticks around mom for advice.  
  
Parents' advice is an important factor to raise a child. However, the amount and the situation to give them should be taken into consideration. Personally, a child will become happy and healthy when they lead their own lives with supportive parents.
There are 2 problems with your prompt restatement + personal opinion paragraph. First, the topic outline as you have interpreted it contains personal insights and opinions that were not provided in the original presentation. This personal insight has created a different prompt statement from the original. So there was a failure to interpret the topic based on the foundation that was previously provided.  
  
Second, as an extent essay, you are expected to provide an emotional (dis)agreement with regards to this public opinion. A quick review of your opinion statement shows that there is no "extent" response provided. Therefore, you have not provided the response based on the required answer format. This is another problem that will result in a less than passing task accuracy score.  
  
Based on the task 2 question, it will appear that you have not even responded in a framework that reflects the original requirements at all. You have provided your own topic for discussion and your own response format. The result? An essay that cannot get a passing score because you changed everything about the original presentation.  
  
If you are not responding to a task 2 essay but to a totally different English presentation task, then you should have mentioned it at the very start of this posting. This current review is based on the IELTS task 2 response essay requirements for this topic.
## [Writing task 2] Sports Events

  
  
**Some people think that hosting international sports events is good for the country, while some people think it is bad. Discuss both views and state your opinion**  
  
Along with the advancement of the globe and globalization, an increasing number of events are being held in various regions of the world to help link countries, including sports competitions, and it causes a lot of conflict views. Some individuals believe that holding international sporting events benefits a country, while others believe that it has negative consequences. In my opinion, I suppose that organizing international athletic events would have a greater beneficial impact than the negative impact.  
  
On the one hand, there are a number of reasons why many residents think that hosting an international sporting event is detrimental. Firstly, there will be large gatherings of people, which make governments have difficulties in controlling the crowd. Several crimes may be readily perpetrated because few people will notice, such as robbers stealing fans' belongings or other frauds if supporters do not pay attention. Furthermore, the brawls might have occurred amongst too enthusiastic supporters. Secondly, arranging a huge sports festival may cost a big amount of money, which can put a strain on a country's budget.  
  
On the other hand, despite the potential drawbacks, the host country might reap certain benefits. To begin with, it will boost tourism. The large number of sports fans will allow the country to benefit from the costs of motels, hotels, and other expenses incurred by the supporters during their visit to the host country. The host country also has the chance to promote the country's image across the globe, which not only helps it attract a big number of foreign tourists, but also helps it strengthen its international dignity. Moreover, the fact that a country hosts international events attracts a significant number of local audiences, whether or not they are sports enthusiasts, which will influence many people's thinking, increasing their love and pride for their homeland while also stimulating their enthusiasm for sports.  
  
In conclusion, I believe that organizing international sports will bring more benefits than harm to a country.
Along with the advancement of ... a lot of conflict views.  
This statement is not necessary in the prompt restatement section. Based on the original prompt, the paraphrasing should not cover more than 2 sentences, with an extra sentence thrown in to respond to the "state your opinion" part. That makes a total of 3 sentences only. You do not need an overworked introduction that accidentally begins to discuss an opinion or offers an insight that is not part of the original presentation. It ruins the task accuracy of the restatement + opinion paragraph. Stick to the original at all times to avoid any TA reductions.  
  
I suppose  
This is a phrase that depicts uncertainty in your response. It indicates that you are not really sure of what your opinion is. This will result in a lower TA score because you do not have a clear opinion represented in the required section. Your opinion must always be presented from a position of strength, certainty, and clarity of thought. Otherwise, this will be another TA score deduction.  
  
Secondly, a  
And? What else? Build on this explanation to tie in with your first reason. Since the two reasons are unrelated, this second reason is under developed and will reduce the cohesiveness and coherence score of this paragraph. When you see that you cannot fully explain a second reason, it is best not to do it. Do not force deductions from your score when it can easily be avoided by ommitting non-helpful presentations such as a little developed second reason in the same paragraph.  
  
On the other hand,  
While you managed to represent the general audience opinion in the previous paragraph, you forgot to represent the same in this part which represents the other public opinion. The discussion would have been better if it had used the correct 3rd person group pronouns for the presentation. That way, the reader would not be confused and accidentally think that you are presenting a personal opinion already. If the examiner takes this discussion from your personal point of view, then this paragraph will have failed to represent the correct discussion format. That would be another score deduction, which would not bode well for your essay since there are already several deductions being applied to it.  
  
I believe that  
You cannot place your little developed personal reason in the conclusion as a single sentence. The discuss both views and give an opinion prompt is more often than not presented as a 3 paragraph essay. Your personal opinion needing to be completely developed over 5 sentences in the same vein as the public opinion discussion presentation. The conclusion should summarize the preceding discussion in a manner similar to the prompt restatement+personal opinion paragraph. This time though, it represents the prompt restatement + comparative discussions. It will have 3-4 sentences at the most. 5 sentences if you actually try to stretch the summary.
*Hello everyone. I would be really thankful if you could give me some feedback and/or a score based on IELTS criteria on my answer for this IELTS Writing Task 2:*  
  
***Some people say that computer skills should be added to primary subjects in elementary school such as reading, writing and math.***  
## How far do you agree or disagree?

  
  
*My answer:*  
It is said that computer skills ought to be included in the elementary curriculum as one of the key subjects. Personally, I completely approve of this opinion and this essay will explain the reasons supporting my view.  
  
To begin with, technology has now played an indispensable role in our modern life. It is clear that technology has infiltrated every aspect of our life, changing how we learn, how we work and so on. Some occupations are even predicted to disappear in the future since robots may undertake those jobs instead of humans. As a result, learning computer skills at an early age could benefit children in their vocational paths as they will be equipped with computer techniques, which would be probably one of the paramount criteria when they apply for jobs.  
  
Moreover, knowing how to use computers enables pupils to access a wider information source through the internet, which facilitates their development in other subjects as well. Various types of information cannot be published in the forms of books or newspapers. In addition, getting knowledge only from those kinds of documents might be costly as people have to buy every single one for information. With the help of technology, it is much more straightforward and cheaper as well. For instance, pupils are able to find a huge amount of information about a specific topic with just a few clicks of a computer mouse.  
  
To sum up, I strongly believe that it is advisable to integrate computer skills into the elementary curriculum as one of the main subjects due to the advantages that it brings to pupils.  
  
*Thank you so much!*
We do not publicly score IELTS practice tests as the scores are meant for private assessment purposes. You may contact us privately for scoring services which include a far more intricate review of your essay. That said, you will still be able to judge how well you did or did not do with this current piece of writing based on the general advice provided.  
  
and this essay will explain the reasons supporting my view.  
What the examiner is looking for when he reads your opinion sentence is the basic reason behind it. Why do you believe your opinion is correct? Tell him about the reason for your view in a single sentence. The reviewer does not need to know that you will be explaining the reasons for your view, that is a given based on the instructions provided. The prompt + restatement should always clearly state:  
  
- The topic based on the writer's understanding  
- The public reason based on the writer's interpretation  
- The (extent) opinion of the writer  
- The reason(s) for the writer's opinion ( 2 topics maximum to cover the 2 reasoning paragraphs). This will be the thesis statement for the discussion paragraphs.  
  
Following this format, you will achieve a better task score.  
  
learning computer skills at an early age could benefit children in their vocational paths  
This is the actual topic for this paragraph. It should be presented as the anchor sentence / first sentence in the paragraph. The topic focus for the paragraph should come before the explanation. You cannot present your reasons first, then the topic after. The examiner bases the clarity of your paragraph on the topic anchor. So always anchor the topic first. Your explanation was good. It just was not placed in the correct position for it to bring a cohesive clarity to your paragraph. You did a better job of explaining your reason in the second paragraph. It has an anchor topic presented at the beginning.  
  
To sum up  
Your summation is only 33 words. The requirement for this section is at least 40 words. What is missing is the restatement of your 2 reasons. Give a quick run-down of your reasons to meet the word requirement for this paragraph and also, prove that you are capable of delivering an effective reverse paraphrase to the examiner.
## The global language

  
  
One can subscribe to the notion that people will use English as the only language in the world because of its ubiquitous usage. To a certain extent, although I agree that this will promote economy and understanding, I also think that there will be some drawbacks.  
  
On the one hand, there are several shreds of evidence why having one global language is beneficial. One of the primary ones is a good economy. In other words, when everybody all uses one language, trading and doing business will be easier since numerous barriers will be taken down. Another reason that a single linguistic will be advantageous is that it will help people understand each other. To be specific, communicating and understanding information will no longer be a problem, and therefore it will push learning among students.  
  
On the other hand, there are some disadvantages of one language that individuals should take into consideration. First and foremost, it would mean that millions of other linguistic teachers will lose their jobs as everyone only have to study one language in the curriculum system. Secondly, it will result in the collapse of cultures. Traditions and customs are one of the joys that the world has to offer. As a result, they will eventually disappear when only one language is left.  
  
In conclusion, while there are plus points to having one global language, too much will be lost as a result. Maintaining local languages and cultures should be prioritized to ensure a rich world heritage for future generations.  
  
*
although I agree that this will promote economy and understanding, I also think that there will be some drawbacks.  
Incorrect response. You are not being asked to give an opinion on the topic. You are asked to provide a general discussion regarding the advantages and disadvantages of English as the dominant world language. Provide one advantage and one disadvantage topic, completely avoiding any personal opinion since it is not required in the prompt. Do not alter the prompt discussion requirement. That will result in score deductions as your restatement + opinion paragraph is no longer related to the original presentation. Do not add information to this part for any reason.  
  
several shreds of evidence  
You are using this phrase out of context. Do not use English slang in reference to a formal and academic discussion. You must use an academic tone and avoid exaggerated references, such as this slang phrase. It does not have any place in academic writing.  
  
millions of other linguistic teachers  
Stop exaggerating. The examiners do not appreciate stretching the truth or over emphasizing information in the essays. This shows a lack of academic writing ability on the part of the student. The sense of logic in your writing disappears and the examiner is left with a piece of writing that lacks common sense discussion points.  
  
Maintaining local languages and cultures should be prioritized to ensure a rich world heritage for future generations.  
Another prompt deviation. You are 3 for 3 in terms of severe deductions for this writing. Add to that the lack of proper sentence formation in the conclusion, which is 3-5 sentences or 2 sentences of at least 40 words and you will understand why this is not going to get a high score during an actual setting. Most specially since you have a habit of adding unimportant or non prompt related discussion points in certain aspects of this essay.
## poverty-stricken Australian families

  
  
the table lists the data regarding the percentage of different types of families that suffered from poverty in Australia in 1999.  
overall, it is clear that there was about one tenth of Australia households living in poor condition with the number reaches approximately 1.83 million families. the sole parent family was the highest portion compare to other categories.  
  
as the data suggest, the family that contains sole parent was needy accounting for over one fifth of total Australia households. the second highest belongs to the single parent family without any children, which formed 19% with the number of 359 thousand poor families. Moreover. the percentages of couple parents without children was impoverished much lower than that of single parent family, accounting for 7%. It is very surprising that there was a big gap in the number of poor family between the elder citizens and the younger ones. the aged couple household was destitute accou.nting for the lowest portion in the given data. Last but not least, the percentage of single aged person who was poverty-stricken formed 6% of total Australia families.
The first reason why this essay will get a failing score is the fact that it totally disregards the grammar rules for English writing. You are not even trying to properly write in English. The first word of every sentence is always capitalized. You inconsistently did that in this essay, You will fail the grammar section as you show a total disregard for English writing rules.  
  
Since you did not upload the image for reference, I cannot say that your summary overview is accurate either. How can I trust that the data you are sharing is correct then? You did not even properly divide the presentation into 3 paragraphs.  
  
You do not seem to be concerned about the validity and accuracy of your reporting essay at this point. Why are you even bothering to do this practice test? It is obvious you are not concerned about passing the actual test anyway. Why are you even wasting your time with this exercise then? You do not even try to meet the minimum 3 paragraph requirement for the presentation. You do not even try to create a more interesting analysis of the data provided. Very little analysis is used in your presentation. Nothing is properly nor completely developed based on the image data.  
  
Your total lack of interest in the test preparation also leaves me disinterested in further helping you with your review for this test. If you want to get advice from me again, do a better job with your task presentation. At least show you are taking it seriously and that you are focused on passing the test by following the minimal and proper requirements for the presentation.
*Hello! Pease feedback this piece of writing for me... I'm rather confused whether the flow and validity of my arguments, the consistency of tone or the use of vocabulary and grammar is good enough :( Thank youuuu in advance!!*  
  
**Topic:  
*It is neither possible nor useful for the government to provide university education for a large proportion of students.*  
## Do you agree or disagree?**  
  
Regarding the paramount importance of university education, many people believe that the access to this category of education should be given to a colossal number of students. Personally, I concur with the opposite viewpoint that providing university education to a large number of students proves unjustifiable and useless for the government.  
  
Admittedly, the provision of university education to multitudes of students is impractical as it can put strain on the government in terms of finance and human resources . Firstly, the cost of infrastructure to facilitate students' learning procedure is exorbitant such as advanced technological devices or demanded equipment for specific faculties, not to mention the high maintenance fees of such accoutrements. For example, students of the health faculty do demand certain instruments for the practice of surgeon, which costs the average amount of $3,772 to operate a surgical laboratory, according to a research by Medical Price Online. Moreover, providing university education to a great deal of students desperately requires a huge number of lecturers. Demanding such large human resources for newly-built universities may put huge emphasis on the quantity rather than the quality of lecturers. They, therefore, may lack the commitment and capacities to nurture the young talents, which can have many adverse impacts on the knowledge accumulation process of students.  
  
Furthermore, providing university education to multitudes of students is useless in light of the waste of resources as well as the imbalance in the workforce. First and foremost, university education does not guarantee and ensure students' later success in life. This is especially true in case that the intrinsic values of university credentials can deteriorate due to the growing number of students possessing them. In such circumstances, it can trigger many difficulties for students to find a desirable profession based on just a university degree and problems for the government as their resources allocated to university education may only lead to the stuck or decrease of employment rates. What is more, the intellectual and labor workforce could face a threat of imbalance. As the increasing number of students who possess a university degree may only aspire to knowledge-based careers, there can be a lack of human resources for manual jobs. Thus, the labor-intensive industries such as mining or agriculture cannot develop, causing great financial losses to the economy.  
  
In conclusion, the provision of tertiary education to multitudes of students can trigger many percussions for the government due to the mentioned justifications.