dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
***People say that a country will benefit greatly if its students study abroad.***  
## To what extent do you agree or disagree?

  
  
In this day and age, more and more students choose to study abroad to have a better education and environment. Besides that, there are many contradictory ideas surrounding this topic, whether it is good for the home country or not. From my perspective, I believe that it would partly leave the motherland some certain detrimental disadvantages.  
  
Nowadays, students have an inclination to choose to study overseas, mainly because they do not totally believe in the national education to foster them in career and logical thinking. Some developing countries do not have enough facilities as well as the professional knowledge to provide for their citizens with a good salary and wonderful environment, so when they have the opportunities to access education in developed countries, they opt to emigrate there to have a better future. I totally agree with this argument, as there are obvious cases that I have actually seen, as the citizens of a country decided to permanently live in a new nation after studying abroad. For example, the Vietnamese champions in a knowledge-about show - Olympiad, when they had been provided a scholarship to study in Australia, almost chose not to come back to Vietnam, earning a living, but continue staying in their host country. This phenomenon makes the whole country lose its own genius, leading to the regretful statement, which is brain drain.  
  
On the other hand, not all the knowledgable study-abroad students are the same, some of them determine that they want to study abroad, broadening their horizon of knowledge, then coming back to their country to promote its evolution. I am also in support of this, but there are not too many cases to make me believe that the country would be benefited, compared to the disadvantages it has had. Taking Ms. Luong Phuong Thao for example, one of three Olympiad champions chose to come back to Vietnam to work among 19 ones. Those studying abroad are who absorb the innovations of the international and professional environment, knowing how to improve the weaknesses of a country that a normal person could not see, actually helping the country to level up their accreditation, but a bad status quo that only a few of them return to their mother countries.  
  
In conclusion, I think that the study-abroad student would bring some risks to the country, such as brain drain, but we could deny that there are some of those overseas graduates who can serve as catalysts for the economic advancement of a nation
When I give a student advice in an essay to help improve his writing abilities and scoring potential in the IELTS essay, I expect to see the advice provided in the next essay. That means, the student must learn from his previous errors through my corrections. This is shown to me by the student through the application of the specified correction notes. I do not give advice simply for posting in threads. I expect the student to pay attention and apply the corrections accordingly.  
  
This presentation still contains the same vital errors that I already requested you to correct in your previous essay. Therefore, due to the same nature of errors, I will not be giving you corrective advice on this essay. I do not repeat advice that I have previously given. Additionally, since you have proven that you choose not to listen to my advice and notes, you will no longer receive corrections from me at this forum.
**Topic:  
*People should follow the customs and traditions when people start to live in a new country.*  
## To what extent do you agree or disagree?**  
  
The idea of whether or not to accept the social convention of a host country remains a source of controversy. From my perspective, I am an attribute to this point of view.  
  
The case for adapting to the social behaviour in a new nation can be made by pointing to the fact that it can facilitate the business of a foreigner. The explanation for this is that local people have an inclination to know whether or not foreigners respect their country or not. When expatriates follow the traditions, it will create a harmony between the newcomers and people who currently live there. As a result, it is easier to do business with them as they already have a good impression on their partners.  
  
Another key component of the case for following the norms of the host country is that it is easier to make more friends. It is beyond a doubt that newcomers would gain more respect from local people if they show respect to the customs of a country. This behaviour will render them more likeable and more sociable in native people's view. For this reason, the chance to make more friends might ascend higher.  
  
A final consideration in refuting the acceptance of the local customs and traditions is the fact that it might be a nuisance sometimes. It is vital to understand that norms in this country might be considered offensive in another country. Japan is a valuable example in this regard, as there is a steretype about people who eat outdoor. They will be considered rude or impolite, which is annoying for those who are Westerners.  
  
Thus it can be seen that following the social norms when living in a host country can helps foreigners to open their circles of friends as well as working more easily. Therefore, I agree with the stand of the writer on this opinion.
You have the wrong idea about the discussion focus of this essay. It is not discussing "tourism" or "work residence" in relation to customs and traditions of a stranger in a new country. Rather, this speaks of immigration status people who will be permanently exposed to their new country's customs and traditions. Your restatement is inaccurate in specific aspects. As for your opinion, you did not express it within the required parameters. There is no "degree" of support or non-support for the given discussion. I am afraid your task response will not be well scored because of these problems.  
  
Learn when a 5 paragraph essay is required and, when a 4 paragraph essay is sufficient. Your current presentation is a 4 paragraph statement requirement. It only needs 2 reasoning paragraphs. Over discussing is just as bad as under discussing as it forces more accidental errors in your writing and tends to result in an incomplete presentation during the actual testing process. The reasons you provided are valid though and quite good. Just, do not overdo it because of the potential for more scoring deductions in the end.
It is great since I have found a set of synonyms in your essay. You are good at word choice.  
  
I also found some errors in your essay. Hope that it could help you  
  
It will create **~~a~~ harmony**  
  
more **likeable**  
  
as there is a **stereotype** about  
  
can **helps** foreigners to open  
  
an inclination to know whether ~~**or not**~~ foreigners...
## the climate change - global warming

  
  
With the development of society, it has a number of environmental issues that we have to consider in an earnest attitude. Global warming also participates in these group of problems, which causes a variety of natural disasters and put the human in the dangerous situation. Governments or individuals have to have some measures to solve the increase of planet temperature, I will show it in this essay.  
  
Some people only know global warming is an issue that people are facing but they do not know the dangerous perspective of its cause. For instance, increasing global temperature leads to melting of the polar ice caps, which creates the rise of sea levels. Therefore, the living are of people will be covered by water. In addition, the high of earth's average temperatures also get harmful for the wildlife habitats. For example, the melting of polar ice caps in North Pole and South Pole relate to the unavailable standard temperature of penguin or polar bear for living. Climate change produce extreme weather conditions. According to the recent analyses, there are thousands of forest fire every year all over the world. Some experts assess that global warming posed a serious threat. Not only does it make harm for asset but it also threatens to human's life.  
  
There are some measures to solve this problem. The government have to introduce laws to citizens in making the fossil fuels. In Vietnam, the government imposed more stringent regulations on people, who burn the waste in an unsuitable place, they can be fined one million Vietnam dong if they do. In addition, some organizations also can propaganda and promote public awareness in people. For example, the environmental organization in Singapore have created a tree planting day for people in order to cover the green on barren area and reduce the carbon emissions. Furthermore, the individual also have to have their own consciousness to protect the environment.  
  
In conclusion, the human have to act right now to call for urgent action on climate change and keep of the dangers of natural disasters. It is not only for human, animals are living but also for the health of our planet.
You understood the question, but cast too wide a net in terms of discussion topics. In fact, the discussion is so far generalized that the reason for the problem and the possible solutions are disconnected. How does the melting ice caps connect to the problem of burning fossil fuel? Fossil fuel burning is different from ordinary home burning of say fallen leaves. Your discussion is not properly focused becaused you did not properly outline your discussion points prior to writing. There is no cohesive representation of the topics you were to discuss. The presentation is confusing because the topics presented do not follow a logical discussion. Although the ideas are there, these are not properly developed so the essay feels improperly discussed or, under developed in presentation.
## Writing task 1 line graph.

 This is my first time, can you give me some comments?  
  
Hello everyone. This is the first time I finished a writing task, so I am posting it here to find some feedback. Thank you for reading. 🙆‍♀️  
  
The line graph illustrates the changes in the rates of birth and death in New Zealand from 1901 and gives the forecast trends until 2101.  
  
Overall, both birth and death rates have increased, but the number of deaths has been more steadily rising.  
  
For 40 years, from 1901, the birth rate fluctuated from 20000 to 30000. Then it was pumped up to the highest point in 1961. After that, the rate of birth started to decline slowly, to about 45,000 by the end of the period.  
  
Compared with the birth rate, the number of deaths from 1901 to recently was lower. However, after a steady increase in progress, the rate of death will be overlooked in 1941 and reach its peak in 2061. Since that time, the number of deaths has stopped augmenting and maintained a level of about 60,000.
Please avoid posting exterior links in your messages. You could have easily cut and paste the question into your thread but you did not do so. Instead, you violated forum rules:  
  
- Do not post exterior links which are considered direct advertising for other websites at our forum  
- Do not post exterior links that may contain malware and other security threat potentials for our forum users  
  
You were given a second chance by the moderators of this forum which is why you will be receiving advice from me.  
  
The essay will receive an automatic failing TA score because you wrote less than the required 150 word minimum. This will result in points deductions based on word count. This will applied prior to the sectional scoring considerations. Such deductions could result in an overall failing score.  
  
pumped up  
Avoid the use of English slang words. Stick to academic writing references for proper tone and analysis presentation.  
  
Try to use a uniform sentence presentation in the reporting paragraphs. These should be uniform at 3-5 sentences each so that you will easily assure yourself of meeting the word count.
I have just searched and found some information about your prompt. Hope that the next time I could see the depicted picture and the given prompt of your essay.  
  
**The line graph illustrates...** It is good of you to paraphrase the given prompt and clearly provide for people what kind of the map was.  
  
**but the number of deaths has ...**  
I think that it would be more obvious if you mentioned both of the trends, instead of one of them.  
  
**..., the birth rate fluctuated from ...** I do not think that "fluctuated" was a good choice. In my opinion, it should be "increased". **Then it was pumped up to the highest point in 1961** clearly demonstrate what the number of the highest point was.  
  
**After that, the rate of birth ...**  
It should be "started decline in 1981, and is expected to gradually decline until it was 45000 by the end of the period"  
  
*
## Task 1: The maps below show the changes in the art gallery ground floor in 2015 and the present day.[/b]

  
  
I am sorry that the image file is too big to put in. Please help me with expression, grammar, and word choice.  
  
The two given maps elaborate on the layout moderations of an art gallery's ground floor, respectively depicting the gallery in 2015 and in the present.  
  
Generally, the art gallery has undergone a course of refurbishments and relocations in order to incorporate more facilities and make use of the space to provide its audience with a better experience. The vending machine and the lift were additionally set up as a result of remodeling.  
  
In 2015, on the right-handed side, the respective exhibition room numbered from 1 to 3 was built alongside to which, while on the left side, the cafe, gallery office, and the exhibition room 4 were vertically also built in consecutive sequence. In 2020, the mentioned-latter facilities have been totally removed to make space for the new ones, including respectively the gallery shop, vending machine, temporary exhibition and children's area.  
  
Observing from the entrance of the art gallery, in 2015, the entrance hall, one could also spot, occupied a large bottom area, in front of which were the receptionist and the stairs. Now, after the redesigned scheme, the former has been relocated, being moved back for the purpose of freeing up the space. Eventually, the lift has been introduced next to a set of stairs, making use of the blank area.
A user cannot dictate specific review requirements unless the user requests for private paid review services. Only general review presentations are available under the free review services. For specific services, you must contact me privately. My business email address is listed below. Please do your best to upload the image next time.  
  
The two given maps  
Familiarize yourself with the different images used in the task 1 essay. A map shows a representation, of an exterior flat land surface. It is based on the features of a land mass such as "a map of the island". :Sometimes, it is also referred to as a sketch, or plan, in relation to a course of action as in "Map out your plan of action". What you have here is an illustration, which is a drawing of a picture that defines or describes a picture or drawing. You must properly identify the images as your task accuracy considers your ability to correctly explain what image is presented to the reader.  
  
Basically, your essay tries its best to represent the images provided but uses too many words in the process. Your essay is over the maximum 200 word count for this task. 200 ia the most number of words you can write within 20 minutes. However, that word count does not leave you any time for editing and proof reading. The most approrpiate word count is 175 words. Keep it concise.  
  
You also failed to proof read and correct the errors in your presentation. You need to at least practice proofreading on your own because that will be a requirement when you take the actual test. Get used to doing it in your practice test.
## IELTS task 2 - High-rise apartments

  
  
Some people say that living in a high-rise apartment block is a lonely experience because there is no community spirit. Others say that people who live in high-rise apartments have a much better sense of community than those live in houses. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.  
  
**Essay:**  
  
Seeking suitable accommodation has always been a topic of interest. While some argue that residing in separate flats causes people to experience solitude due to the lack of a sense of community, others claim that the community spirit can be better nurtured by those living in apartment complexes rather than those accommodating in houses. In this essay, I will look at both aspects before presenting my own thoughts on the matter.  
  
On the one hand, many apartment residents lead a quiet and lonesome lifestyle. Apartment contractors usually aim to create the most comfortable living environment by adding convenient factors in one condo as much as possible, depriving people of the motivation to go out and meet neighbours since they can do everything in their flats. In particular, many complexes nowadays allow their residents to pay for their utility bills online and also provide groceries shipment services. Therefore, other than commuting to school or work, most people have no incentive to go out and socialize with neighbors. As a result, most apartment inhabitants are rendered to a reclusive and mundane style of living.  
  
On the other hand, condominiums have the regulations and events needed to foster solidarity among residents. When choosing to accommodate an apartment, residents must follow a set of rules and participate in multiple compulsory events that allow them to socialize and get to know each other. For instance, many complexes organize annual meetings for people to meet and discuss the growth and management of the building. Also, fire drills are often conducted so that people can know how to support and help each other in case of an accident. All of these promote healthy relationships between residents not only in terms of making friends but also building solid support for each other.  
  
To my mind, apartment inhabitants can definitely lead a more sociable lifestyle and are better incentivised to establish a great sense of community for they are provided with a suitable environment and condition. While some residents are not intrigued to socialize with their neighbours, this has been alleviated by building management implementing stricter policies to encourage their residents.  
  
**Please evaluate my essay and give me feedback as well as score if you can.  
Thanks a lot!**
Hi, as a general format essay based on a solid personal point of view of both statements, the essay is well written. As an argument that explains the pros and cons based on the public perception, the essay fails to provide a clear opinion. The d"iscuss both views and give an opinion essay" asks the writer to accomplish 2 things:  
  
- Provide an explanation of the public support or non support based on a third person point of view. This will help differentiate the discussion from your personal opinion  
  
- Provide a personal opinion that shows a clear assessment of both opinions, then offering solid support for your preferred public opinion.  
  
Without the proper use of third person group pronouns, you did not clearly create a demarcation line between the public and your opinion. You only provided your opinion for all 3 scenarios. That is sad because your personal opinion had a good start, but lacked an explanation development based on the appropriate explanation of the public opinion side.  
  
The essay also does not have a proper summary conclusion to close the essay. Now, when in an actual setting, the inability of the writer to create a summary conclusion could lead to an immediate failure of the test. That is why you must make sure that you do not present an incomplete essay. The rule is "Discuss both views is a standard 5 paragraph essay". You are missing a whole paragraph in your presentation.
**Topic:  
## "If you were the mayor of your town or village, what would you do to improve the quality of life there?"

  
*Talk about three specific problems. Write an essay of 120-150 words***  
  
Ho Chi Minh city is the best place to live where has all of I need such as technology, shopping center, cafe shops, schools and so on. However, nothing is perfect, everything has their own problems and disadvantages, this city is either. In this modern life with full of works, we cannot avoid the traffic congestion in every morning.  
  
Secondly, there are many environment problems which affect our health in negative ways especially the air-population. The last one,we do not have enough awareness to worry about all of these. While we are still polluting our habitats, we are not keen on the bad consequences, the deaths in the future.  
  
If I were a mayor,I would build many bridges above the streets to reduce traffic problems. The small vehicles such as bikes, motorcycles are definitely the priority cases. To reduce air population, I would encourage people to cycle or walk. It would be the effective way to reduce the CO2 emissions and It is good for our health either. However, there is also the fact that awareness of everyone in this city is determinant to decide that it is effective or not. So before stating my plans, I would open a new conference to discuss and let everyone gives their own opinions and let they know what the future is like if we continue harming the environment.  
  
Sum it up, all of above things are just my dreams. However, I really want to improve these problems because if we still keep our bad hobbies like littering, air pollution, our Earth will be soon died by us.  
  
Hello everyone, this is my first time to use this app to improve my writing skills. Sorry if I make any mistakes. I wonder what I should write in Subject because it is not enough for me to write the topic
Learn to outline your ideas before you write the paper. That way, your discussion points are always related and focused on the theme of the paper. In this case, the theme is "What would I do to improve the quality of life in my city as a mayor?" So the outline should focus on discussion related to public health, public safety, and local culture development.  
  
If I were a mayor,I would build many bridges above the streets to reduce traffic problems  
Focus on projects a mayor can complete. What you are talking about are national projects. These need more than just the mayor's influence to happen. Look at local projects for the local police, health centers, and local tourism. Those are the areas a mayor has direct control over. You may however, discuss representing the city with the national road development agency if you want to have road projects related to traffic decongestion. I would however, ask you limit the scope of your discussion to just the local things you do not need national approval for.