dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
## Advantages and disadvantages of living in a small community

  
  
In the old days, people preferred living in a small community to a large one, yet urban areas are becoming more congested day by day. It means the minor did bring them more benefits than the major in the past, but drawbacks make it no longer populated.  
  
On the one hand, there are some advantages which were suitable for the old lifestyle. Firstly, one of the features of living in villages that is still accurate until now is its healthy environment. Pollution has never been a concern because of the fresh air and the peaceful atmosphere. Secondly, people in rural areas had an extremely close relationship. Since there were a few people in a village, everyone knew each other, and solidarity which was highly promoted by the former society was noticeable. Whenever someone had a problem, there were always people who willingly gave a hand.  
  
On the other hand, some disadvantages created many difficulties in daily life, which is why the low population density in the countryside. Firstly, there is short of equipment and it is usually old-fashioned. This results in underdevelopment that happened in different fields such as IT, education, health, entertainment, and so on. The countryside is isolated from the other parts of the world as the news was not timely updated which is intensely serious since information is needed to prevent a disaster. Moreover, poor conditions led to backward thinking and ignorance of the citizens. This is because they live in a community with traditions instead of adapting cultures like in the big city.  
  
In short, although living in villages has both pros and cons, drawbacks have created a strong impact on modern life that makes it no longer be an ideal place to live in. Especially, when the pandemic is spreading, health care services playing an important role are mostly supplied in cities.
Your prompt restatement does not make a clear connection with the original prompt. The original discussion simply stated that the discussion is to be based on a a general discussion regarding the advantages and disadvantages of living in a small community. The writer is not being asked to perform any assessment of the topics that could lead to a presentation of a personal opinion. Rather than a personal opinion, the last part of the first paragraph should only state one advantage sentence topic and one disadvantage sentence topic. Based on the prompt restatement + response guidelines, the writer failed to properly represent the original prompt.  
  
The discussion patterns of the writer are acceptable. However, the cohesiveness of the paragraphs need to be better developed to increase the C+C score that is reliant of the proper connection between reason 1 and reason 2 in a paragraph. For example, the focal point of the first reasoning paragraph is pollution. Therefore, the second reason should indicate the relationship of pollution with the small community. This would be a greater disadvantage representation since it will clearly connect the small community discussion to the anchor topic.  
  
Firstly  
You cannot use a numerical ordinal in a paragraph if there is no series that follows it. You need not always count or numerically list your reasons. You can just discuss the topics directly and use connecting phrases instead. Build your transition words, phrases, and sentences abilities to further increase your GRA score.  
  
This is not an opinion essay but a general discussion. Therefore, the writer's personal opinion should not be reflected anywhere in the presentation.Not in the introduction, not in the conclusion. This is a direct prompt alteration that will have negative scoring results for the writer in the end.
## explain your choice of study

  
  
If you could study a subject that you have never had the opportunity to study, what would you choose? Explain your choice, using specific reasons and details. (wrote it 30 min, didn't change anything)  
  
Most people agree that everyone in the world should have the chance to study what they want. Personally, if I had the opportunity to study the subject I had never tried before, I would choose Music, more specifically the History of Music. I feel this way for several reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.  
  
To begin with, history of music starts from the folk music and it is the root of any culture. The subject would introduce me interesting facts about development music from ancient times till present day and it is great not only to read about it, but to listen to melodies too. During my trip to India and Turkey I had visited incredible museums of different eras of oriental cultural history and there were informative lectures in exhibition halls which were accompanied by folk music. It had great impact on visitors including me. I am passionate about both history and music and I would study the history of world music with pleasure.  
  
Furthermore, attending the history of music class, I would enrich my knowledge on other cultures of the world. There are so many fascinating places, nations and cultures, which are still not studied well. As every culture has it own music and history, I would study them and present my knowledge and research results to the world. For instance, the culture of my country. Kyrgyzstan is small Central Asian country with rich cultural background, however most of the world do not know about kyrgyz history and music. We have so many outstanding composers and musicians, whom should know everyone in the world. If there were more people interested on the history of music or culture, kyrgyz culture would be familiar to more people.  
  
In conclusion, if I decide to study some subject which had never studied, I will choose the History of Music. This is because both music and history study culture and making research on them improves our understanding other cultures.
While the writing allowance is 30 minutes, you are not expected to use all of that time just writing the essay. You need to work on your time allottment skills in this case. No more than 20 minutes should be used to complete the opinion paper draft, with the remaining 10 minutes being used to correct and polish your presentation. Do not fall into the habit of using the full time allowance for the writing alone. You will definitely leave some errors uncorrected, which will lead to a lowering of your final score.  
  
~~I feel this way for several reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.~~  
This is not a good way to kick off your TOEFL introduction paragraph. Just like the IELTS test, you do not need to provide an empty transition sentence at the end. You need to provide the start of the discussion instead. In fact, the difference between the IELTS and TOEFL tests is that the first requires a thesis statement while the second, does not. You should begin your discussion of your opinion within the first paragraph due to the shorter writing time allowance.  
  
accompanied by folk music  
The last few sentences of this paragraph should focus on the way that the music at the museum impacted your interest in traditional and historical music. Shorten the discussion about non-related, but introductory activities next time. Always focus your explanations on the main discussion point.  
  
Overall, you have shown a keen understanding of the prompt. Your efforts to discuss your opinion remained on the relevant side although there were instances of straying from the original topic which is historical music. While the sentences are not perfectly written in the English language, the opinion of the writer remained clear throughout the presentation.
## reasons for travel and the main issues for travelling public in the US

  
  
A glance at the provided charts reveals some striking differences in traveling purposes and the primary problems related to the traveling public of Americans in the year 2009. In general, commuting for work was the most common reason and the cost of travel was the primary concern of Americans.  
  
It is obvious that in 2009, 49% of trips were made for commuting to and from work and it was the highest figure compared to the others. In contrast, the percentage of visits to companions and relatives was the lowest among those five causes, stood at 6%. Shopping and social recreation were cited as purposes for 16% and 10% of all travel, respectively, while personal reasons accounted for the remaining 19%.  
  
Regarding the commuting issues, the expense of travel was a key consideration for 36% of Americans. Just around 17% of people preoccupied with aggressive drivers while 14% of those surveyed concerned about highway jams. Finally, less than 10% of citizens considered the public transport accessibility and footpath for pedestrians as the main problems.
A glance at the provided charts  
Since you did not provide a copy of the charts, I cannot accurately consider the information you are providing. The image reference is too generalized for the examiner to get a better idea of how the information is being presented to the writer. Always identify the type of image. If it is a chart, indicate if it is a bar chart, pie chart, columnar chart, or what have you.  
  
~~striking~~ differences  
No need to exaggerate. You are being asked to write an accurate depiction of the information in the summary presentation. The examiner knows that exaggerated references will never be part of the presentation. Though such references add life to the report, you are not writing a creative paper here but an academic review. The need for flashy descriptions are not needed nor required.  
  
It is obvious  
Again,, there is no image attached so what is obvious to you, is not obvious to your reader. Do not make these sorts of references because it does not make you sound smart. It makes you sound annoying instead, which is not a tone that should be found in an academic paper.
## food shortage problem

  
  
Food is one of the most necessary part of human life but it's possible to be short in near future. This problem causes by some factors and gorvenments should have the act to prevent this situation immidiately.  
  
First of all, the lack of food certainly comes from the rapid increasing of population which is faster than the food production, especially in many developing countries that have a higher rate of natural increase, which has led to the steep cost of some basic commodities such as rice has risen so much so many people can no longer afford them. Second, the high amount of inhabitants also lead to the climate change that causes drought and other weather conditions and exert the adverse effect on agriculture. Third, because of the lack of equipment, famers in developing countries use outdated farming methods which doesn't provide the efficent productivity.  
  
Some solutions are suggested to deal with this worrying problem. World governmets and agencies should adopt strict measures to reduce the emission of greenhouse gases like encouraging people to use public transports, buy a hybrid car or plant trees around their houses. Not only that, deforestation and overgrazing need to be tightly controlled by the law beacause they are also the reasons that make the amount of food decrease. Developing countries may have many difficulties in finance and technology, the best solution is the helping from rich countries to learn and raise awareness associated with environmental problems and pratice skills of agriculture machinery.  
  
In a nutshell, population increases and the shortage of equipment are the main factors for this vital dilenma and this can be solved by the clear-cut actions of gorvenments and state-organizations that may positively affect people in each country. It is predicted that this concerned trouble will easily and quickly resolved so no one will suffer from starvation.
This problem causes by some factors and gorvenments should have the act to prevent this situation immidiately.  
Please offer clear responses to the questions provided. The examiner has no use for your empty repeat of the questions provided. Such an act cannot be scored as it is not part of the task accuracy requirement. For the task response requirement, you need to provide an outline of how you plan to respond to the questions by offering related single sentence references to the questions. Direct responses that you will be building upon in the reasoning paragraphs. These discussion outlines will help create a clear idea of what your opinion regarding the discussion is. These responses are what can be given a score in the accuracy section.  
  
First of all, the lack of ...longer afford them.  
You must avoid presenting connected ideas in a single sentence. This is a run-on sentence that, when divided only by commas, force the examiner to fail your score due to C+C and GRA problems in the presentation. Regardless of the number of reasons you present in the paragraph, if these are not properly formatted in the sentence presentations, the paragraph will still get a failing score.  
  
Some solutions  
You did a better job of explaining the solutions you believe will work in relation to the causes of food shortage. However, the solutions are still too numerous, with little developed explanations. So the C+C score will be lowered just the same.  
  
You seem to have been misinformed as to how to write this test. You are not tested on the number of resaons you can provide. You are not going to pass the test just because you kept writing until the time ran out. You will only pass the test if the grammar requirements for English sentence writing are met. You will only be considered for a passing score if you effectively explain connected reasons in the paragraph, without confusing the presentation by using run-on sentences.  
  
This is a good effort. There is evidence that you understand English questions well enough to provide acceptable responses. The problem, is that you are not presenting the response sentences in acceptable formats. Work on less run-on sentences, more connected reasoning topics and discussions, and the clarity of your explanations. These are the factors that will determine if you will pass or fail the test.
## Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology.

  
**In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make?  
Is this a positive or negative development?**  
  
The impact of information technology has had a huge impact on the way people treat each other today. This essay will discuss in detail that the content on the Internet has shaped the relationship between society and everyone, and shows that this is a negative development, because many content on the Internet is just another personal opinion or unrealistic or even untrue, not suitable A situation where other people cause depression and lack motivation for anything else.  
  
The media usually spreads many trending visual video news trending things so it is someone's point of view and is seen by many people and many people think it is correct so that other people are also affected although then just follow them and hey involves other things, for example Advertising video trends, some other stories, some untrue things are suspected or just some experiments, so this may change other views and thinking about the outside world. Other factors are ideas that we usually believe many people follow. For example, through experimental thinking, the results show that if 9 people collude and tell others that the answer is a wrong choice, then 10 people will undoubtedly follow the answer.  
  
Many people are attracted to something special and attractive things have different things, so many people become popular celebrities or show different opinions or earn extra money at all costs. To do this, they must create something unreal or have a negative impact on the world we see. Therefore, just by following, watching and observing this content in the video or story trend news, we will somehow think it is true and make the wrong decision about our connection with relatives and people we know , Which affects the way we see and think about the world around us. For example, when seeing a person talking about his relationship, seeing the wrong content about someone's opinion, many people think it's true, so they follow him, learn from him, do the same thing, and do the same in their life.  
  
In short, the visual content does affect our imagination of the surrounding environment therefore, instead of believing in ourselves, we choose to believe in the crow trend. Many people think this is correct, but it is not. This has a negative impact on our lives. People follow trending ideas , and more people think they are right than believe in themself.
This essay will discuss in detail that the content on the Internet has shaped the relationship between society and everyone, and  
This particular reference is no longer necessary in the presentation. You provided a strong prompt restatement in the first part, then the responses that you provided to the direct questions were also highlighted in your opinion paragraph. There is no need to repeat the discussion instructions since your restatement and responses already did that, without dumbing down the examiner.  
  
personal opinion or unrealistic or even  
There need to be a series if commas seperating these references in the listing. The pause inbetween is necessary for statement clarity. It offers the reader a chance to pause and better understand what you are saying.  
  
not suitable A situation  
There either needs to a period in between the words "suitable" and "A". There is a confusion in this part of your writing. It does not make sense as the reference is unclear to the reader.  
  
The overall essay becomes difficult to understand because you are not dividing your presentation sentences into individual ideas. Rather, you are using run-on sentences, which do not properly connect to one another. Hence, the reader will come away confused and bothered by your writing. The overall GRA and C+C scores for this essay will be failing due to the stress of having to read your statements and the lack of clarity and cohesiveness in your writing. This essay will not get an overall passing score.
***Both men and women these days work full-time, so it is logical for them to share household chores equally. To what extent do you agree or disagree?***  
  
It is true that, throughout the world, number of dual-income families is considerably increasing. When there are two wages contribute to family budget, I firmly believe that both men and women should have equal responsibility for doing household chores.  
  
For the first reason, the old pattern taking root in society that housework should be only done by women is no longer appropriate in modern culture in which both men and women have full-time jobs. It is labor-intensive if working women are expected to handle all household chores when they are, along with men, also breadwinners. Men and women cope with heavy workload at their workplace and arrive home worn-out either physically or mentally. Therefore, it is logical and fair for both to shoulder the burden of household chores equally.  
  
Secondly, chores are rendered to be easier to do thanks to the advances of science and technology. Some people think that women are naturally better at housework than men. Labor-saving appliances, however, are invented to make chores greatly lighter and to be easily operated by anyone, regardless of gender. For example, a man can help his wife wash clothes by using washing machine and tidy the living room by using vacuum cleaner while the women cook nutritious dishes for family. He can warm up ready meals by using microwave ovens while his partner baths their children. Sharing housework together is not only the responsibility of both men and women but a good way to strengthen family bond and build up mutual understanding between partners.  
  
To recapitulate, although some conflicts might be triggered when equally sharing the duties of household tasks, I totally agree that when men and women have full-time jobs, they should shoulder the burden of chores together.
It is true that  
As this is a restatement of the original topic, the writer is not allowed to add information to the rephrasing that would alter the content of the original. In this case, there is no reference in the original to a "truth" about any information. This is a prompt alteration that will negatively affect the task accuracy of the restatement. Avoid making any additional claims in your restatement to avoid such score reductions. Always restate in a matter-of-fact manner. No deductions, no additions to the claim.  
  
although some conflicts might be triggered  
Please make sure that you stop this habit of adding information to the task accuracy related paragraphs of the essay. You can only use such information in the reasoning paragraphs. The aforementioned addition once again changes the original statement. The summary conclusion is expected to accurately restate the original topic a second time. You do not need to embellish on it.
## quitting high school phenomenon

  
  
More and more students make a decision to quit when they are in high school. One possible reason for this is achievement pressure. one way to limit this problem is for parents to take this into consideration before choosing high school for their children.  
  
The foremost cause of quitting school is due to pressure on achievements in high school. In some countries such as japan, china, etc, School is usually a competitive environment in which most students try to gain the highest achievement so that they can receive admiration from people around them. Thus, school is the reason that causes stress in teenagers. To imagine, Many students cannot do well at learning they may feel useless when they have to continue wasting money on high school without gaining any. Instead of this, teenagers especially in unwealthy families decide to drop out of school and choose a part time job to earn money or support their families.  
  
The possible solution for this issue is for parents to consider school while selecting high school for their children. Each person has their own abilities and parents should help them find a school which is suitable for them. Some teenagers may be good at STEM subjects, others may have potential in creative subjects. For example, a person despite being bad at learning but he has ability in playing football, their parents can select sport high school for them. This method not only decrease the rate of quit but it also helps them success in the future.  
  
In conclusion, gaining high achievement is a possible cause of this problem. To tackle this, parents should think thoughly before choosing high school for them.  
  
I will have ielts test in next month plssss can u help me fix it !! thanks sooooo much !!!