Khushboo, I apologize for what I am about to say because I found that this sort of essay writing for the CBEST cannot score higher than a 2 because of a number of reasons. I believe that once you learn to avoid the mistakes I will be enumerating, that you will be able to improve your scoring consideration for this test.  
  
The first problem with your essay is that you do not follow through on the discussion as provided by the prompt. You took almost a whole paragraph where you presented a series of questions that caused you to not discuss the essay in the manner expected by the instructions you were given. Rather than doing a comparative response immediately after saying that you "some what" agree with the essay, you went on to respond to the questions that you posed instead. Causing a prompt deviation which caused the essay to lose focus in terms of the original discussion.  
  
The reasoning that you are using in the 2nd paragraph is weak and pretty much generalized in presentation. This was caused by the focus on the previous questions that you posed in the paragraph. Instead of questions, you should be presenting evidence to support your claim. The supporting evidence needs to be something popularly known on an international basis or, you could base this on your personal knowledge instead.  
  
In your opening statement, you also use the term "controversial" to describe the topic you were provided for the discussion. If you review the essay, there is no such controversy being referred to. So while the ideas are properly presented, implying something about the original prompt that is not justified nor supported by the original presentation means that your response is weak and confusing.  
  
The reasoning is also not very effective because, while you chose to use evidence based on someone you know, your next set of evidence uses someone that is not well known to those outside of your country. It is always best to stick to popular examples or, even better, use personal experience in this area.  
  
The mistakes in your sentence structure and word usage tends to become distracting which creates choppy sentences. Mistakes such as "some what" when the correct term is "somewhat creates a confusing sentence because of the way the terms are used.  
  
Remember that you are supposed to be presenting this academic paper to peers who happen to be teachers as well. So when you make mistakes like these, your ability as a potential educator comes into question and, with such a low score, means you are not capable of fulfilling the tasks you will be required to do.  
  
The closing paragraph feels rushed and ill informed. You said that there are people who are born talented with multiple intelligences. Yet the examples you use are of people who are known for just one thing. Therefore, your presentation becomes ineffective and unclear. When you say something that important, you need to follow it up with examples of multi talented people and a description of what these multiple talents are.  
  
Don't forget the importance of the closing paragraph. Without a properly summarized discussion, your essay becomes open ended and doesn't come across as truly effective and informative because it does not offer the reader a chance to decide for himself based upon your concluding statement.