dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
... earth. Others  
The sentence structure shows 2 connected ideas. Therefore, a comma, rather than a period should be used in this presentation. This happened because of the use of the word "While" at the start of the sentence. It used a comparative sentence approach.  
  
facing more pressing  
Provide an example to support your opinion and expand the explanation in your personal . paragraph.  
  
For the first reasoning paragraph, use a general reference to the opinion rather than first person pronouns. The use of the first person reference blurs your personal opinion, which should use 1st person references. For this presentation, third person references should be used.  
  
I side with those  
Do not side with any opinion yet. You will not get complete scoring consideration if you combine your personal opinion with the public discussion. These need to be 2 separate paragraphs to meet the 3 comparison paragraph requirement. Omitting 1 discussion paragraph will result in a score based on a weak 2 paragraph rather than the stronger 3 discussion comparisons.
While many individuals believe/opine that the major ...  
This does not contain a complete thought.  
  
While I agree that ~~reduced~~ biodiversity **loss** is a serious problem...  
You probably mean that there are other pressing environmental concerns aside from biodiversity loss. If it is what you're trying to say, you have to write a sentence that states that point. Since this is a discussion essay, it would be better if you provide two reasons supporting your opinion.  
  
... many people ~~are of the opinion~~ **believe** that ... species is ~~the main~~ **a major** environmental problem.  
... in our life~~,~~ **as** it provides our food **and medicine**, cleans our water, ~~provides medicine for curing illness~~, and even creates ...  
**Moreover** ~~As a matter of fact~~, biodiversity is ...  
If ~~we reduce the amount of~~ biodiversity **declines**~~, by driving many~~ **due to the rapid loss of** species ~~to extinction~~, we cannot expect ...  
On the other hand, I side with those who ...  
The two sides must be discussed in a balanced way in this type of essay. Do not directly say that you prefer this side. You only need to present a discussion about the other point.
***Most people try to balance between work and other parts of theirs lives. Unfortunately, not many achieve this delicate balance.***  
## What are the main problems people are facing? What is the best way to overcome them?

  
  
It is true that in contemporary society, a number of people are making an attempt to strike a balance between work and their daily life. This trend will undoubtedly have several devastating consequences yet there are viable measures which can be implemented to address such an alarming issue.  
  
The inability to reach the equilibrium between work and other aspects of life results in numerous concern. First of all, in terms mental well-being, it wreak havoc on personal relationships owing to the dearth of communication. Since work takes up a large proportion of their day, they do not have adequate time to spend with family and friends such as eating dinner together to talk about ups and downs in life or confiding in when they have problems. As a result, pent-up tension and solitude are inevitable. Besides, physical well-being is also negatively impacted. Admittedly, with a view to fulfilling their duty in work and accomplishing the heavy burden, people have to sacrifice their health, for instance, sitting in front of the screen for a long period of time might put a strain on back bones and eyes. Therefore, a multitude of people are suffering from poor eyesight, dizziness, fatigue, digestion disorder and other issues.  
  
There are several initiatives that could be launched to mitigate the repercussion. Initially, people should allocate sufficient time for their loved ones, which enables them to release stress and strike a balance between work and daily life. A second proposal is that companies need to provide periodic medical checkups and in-company sports facilities such as gyms, yoga class during lunch breaks to improve employees' physical as well as mental health.  
  
In conclusion, by taking various practical actions like using time management skills and offering employees sports facilities , people could eradicate the work-life disharmony.
balance between work  
Avoid using a cut and paste of the original prompt reference. This is not good for your LR and TA score. For the LR score, a deduction for lack of alternative reference words will apply. The TA low score will be based on using memorized words.  
  
This trend will undoubtedly have  
Direct questions require direct responses. You have to prove your ability to offer a short version of your upcoming paragraph responses as if you were participating in an actual class exercise. Your response is empty. It is without meaning in direct relation to the questions. other is your chance to boost your preliminary C + C score.  
  
~~The inability to reach the equilibrium between work and other aspects of life results in numerous concern.~~   
There is no need to repeat the prompt restatement. Get to the point quickly. Avoid sentence fillers to meet the word count. Every sentence should move the discussion forward.  
  
The rest of the presentation is acceptable enough. Your solutions paragraph represents connected ideas that are developed enough to help you score better overall.
## Recycling Rate for selected materials 1982-2010

  
  
The graph depicts the percentage of four different materials recycled ( paper and cardboard, glass containers, aluminium cans and plastics) over 28 years from 1982 to 2010.  
  
Overall, there was an upward trend in recycling paper and cardboard, compared to other materials, this rate was higher. Glass containers and aluminium cans had a rise throughout the period, whilst plastics was the least recycled between 1982 and 2010.  
  
It is noticeable that 60% of paper and cardboard was recycled in 1982. This figure increased slightly to 70% in the year 1986 and dropped at 65% throughout the year 1990. Afterwards, paper and cardboard had a dramatic increase to 80% 4 years after, but suddenly had a decline and hit to 70% in the year 2010. This rate was higher, compared to other materials under 70%.  
  
As we can see in the chart, glass containers were 50% in the beginning year ( in 1982), then significantly decreased to 40% in 1990. In addition, the recycling of glass containers shown an upturn and hit 60% for 20 years. It is interesting to note that aluminium cans recycled began in 1986. Although there were 5% of them were recycled, the rate started to rose enormously and picked up to 45% in 2010. Plastic recycling began in 1990 and remained the least recycled material ( less than 10%) throughout the given period.
The graph  
Incomplete image identifier. What type of graph? Review and memorize the differences.  
  
Your first trending sentence should have beepresented in 2 sentences:  
- Upward thend  
- Other material reference  
  
Afterwards  
Use a more specific year reference point for better graph point referencing.  
  
4 years after,  
You can indicate the year in a parenthesis for GRA scoring improvement.  
  
As we can see in the charf  
You did not provide the image. You cannot use this reference. Since you did not establish a proper mental description in the summary overview, the reader cannot create an accurate mental description in reference to this phrase.  
  
\* Limited review provided due to lack of image for comparison purposes.
## new challenges of studying

  
  
**Topic: Many students find it is harder to study at university or college compared to when they were in grade school.  
  
Why is this?  
  
What are some possible solutions for this problem?**  
  
Many university students find it increasingly challenging to pay attention during lessons compared to past schooling. In my view, this issue is mainly attributed to the considerable changes in curriculum, and I believe that some solutions can be carefully considered to tackle with it.  
  
The main cause of this trouble relates to the new learning environment at university. It is clear that the number of students at college is far larger than that in high schools, which then makes teachers find it hard to contact with students or even have a minimum guarantee that all of them can get a little bit the given knowledge. Another factor that leads to a lack of concentration at university is the significant difference of information between universities and former schools. With a large amount of academic knowledge proposed, it seems rather difficult for university students to get what is taught, particularly for those who have a part-time job to pay for tutor fees and living cost.  
  
Despite its negative effects, the issue can be solved by some measures. Firstly, colleges should have an adjustment to novel ways of learning. They can all restrict the knowledge in each lesson, this may include further lessons during summer holiday, to make students feel easy and have time to review from the previous. Secondly, pupils can also study on the Internet, in which information is widely available, and ask teachers or their peers if anything is not understood. In this way, they both save time and efforts and completely absorb the lessons at school.  
  
In conclusion, while it is considerably burdensome for students to concentrate on their new academic life, some measures can be taken to solve this difficult problem. The new environment will always be an obstacle and part of the importance of university is learning independently to overcome it.
[~~quote=YeuRosie19]I believe that some solutions can be carefully considered to tackle with it.[/quote]~~  
The first part of this sentence establishes your thesis statement. This second half does not answer the second question. Using 2 sentences present 2 related solution suggestions.  
  
number of students at college  
There are also a large number of students in the lower years of study. However, there are more students in a college classroom than in an early to intermediate academic setting. Your scenario reference is incorrect but the idea is correct.  
  
to get what is taught  
The reference "to get" refers to a tangible item. knowledge is intangible. Refer instead to an understanding of the lessons. Brush upon your conversational English skills to improve such reference points on your part.  
  
~~particularly for those who have a part-time job to pay for tutor fees and living cost.~~  
This discussion is irrelevant due to the previous discussion. There is no clear explanation for this one so it will just lower your C + C score unnecessarily. If you cannot fully develop an explanation, do not present it.  
  
from the previous  
Previous what? complete the reference.  
  
Good conclusion. It is concise and managed to deliver the summary as expected.
(In this essay I write for my writing task 2, so I hopefully need your feedback for better essays)  
  
***Some people think that children should be encouraged to play outdoors games that require physical activities instead of playing computer games in their home?***  
## Do you agree or disagree?

  
  
Use of computer games by the youngsters at home has become a major issue. It is important to evaluate the influence of this on their mental health and behavior. I am in complete agreement that outdoor games should be encouragedly played by children that desire of physical movements than computer games.  
  
Since computer games are major sources of staying inside the houses of kids, limiting the uses of these games console allows children to participate more in outside playground and they get better health. The young's time and attention is absolutely reserved for video games neither sports or relaxation. By approving them of hanging out with friends and playing sports, children can reduce the ability of gaining weight and negative affects eyesight which leads to promote their health effectively. My niece has a weak eyesight because she is constantly getting more screen time from her tablet playing video games.However, my nephew, who often plays sports and outside games, are healthy and enthusisastic. This is one reason that parents should encourage their kids to join in out door activities.  
  
By removing the time playing online games, kids can spend more hours in academic perfomances and improve social skills for later life. By using time otherwise spent on computer games, the young are likely to form compulsory communication skills through teamwork games, not to mention the time-consumption of inappropriate contents. Therefore, children can prevent from addicting of gaming and focus more on their learning. My niece has few online friends due to her time spent on computer games while my nephew is a positive and sporty kid who has good grades at school and large groups of friends  
  
In conclusion, parents should be a friend with their kids that dissuade the time-consumption of gaming which leads to better personality and health problems. Therefore, i am completely agree that the young should be encouraged to play physical outdoor activities than indoor gaming. The primary purpose of parents is to caring their kids as well as the future generation of healthy and successful people.
Your Opening presentation is an incorrect restatement. Compare the following:  
  
OT: Some people think ... in their home?  
YT: Use of computer games by the youngsters at home has become a major issue.  
  
So you have a slight task inaccuracy based on the discussion topic. A more proper restatement could have been:  
  
*There are a group of people who support the idea that children should be encouraged to engage in out- of-the- house play time by discouraging gadget based play.*  
  
The reference to mental health should have been after your agreement. That is the proper place for the thesis statement or discussion reason.  
  
By the way, use the correct response format for the question a measured response is used in an extent essay. For this essay a simple and direct dis/agreement would have worked best based on the given question. No need to exaggerate your response this time.  
  
You cannot write 340 words within 40 minutes if you are after passing based on the scoring requirements. As you can see, we haven't even reviewed the total essay yet and you already have several score lowering presentations. The length affected the qquality of the essay. Next time, stick to 250-300 words and concentrate on increased statement qquality instead.  
  
Your paragraphs are over-discussed. keep it within 3-5 sentences. at this rate you are hoping to pass based on your LR usage alone. The problem is that nobody has passed just on the LR rating. Your writing needs to have a balanced representation of all the scoring requirements. Explain and expound, but don't overdo it.
**Some people said that school should focus more on teaching practical subjects such as car maintenence or managing the bank account. To what extend do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.**  
  
School has increasingly introduced more practical classes which are focused on teaching skills such as car repairs and financial management. There is an argue whether education's attentions are these subjects or traditional ones are maths and science. It is my point of view that both practical subjects and academic subjects are equally helpful for life basis and occupational purposes.  
  
To begin with, it is important to target at academic subjects such as science or history as providing the compulsory fundamental knowledge demanded for professional careers. By having deeply understanding about scientific subjects, students can easily get their diplomas that allow them to get better studies. Imagine a doctor without a good understanding of biology or an architect who can't stand calculation unit.  
  
Besides the beneficial of these traditional classes, we can not bypass the necessary of practical courses. With the knowing widely about managing a bank account or car adjustment, we are equipped them the essential tools for their forthcoming growth. By using time spent on soft skills classes, they are likely to form valuable experiences through tasks performances and save their time in the future. At school, our education system include lots of practical courses such as financial management or fixing the car and I have become aware more of being mindful and careful. In this way, I have regarded a scholarship about being a multi-tasking student at school.  
  
In conclusion, the balance between traditional classes and practical courses are required in the responsible educational purposes. Therefore I am in complete agreement that schools should equally provide the academic subjects and practical ones as it helps pupils both in the daily lives and authority knowledge.
## WRITING TASK 2: COMPUTERS

  
  
***Some scientists think that computers will soon become more intelligent than humans. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?***  
  
Computers are believed to be smarter than humans by several scientists in no time. From my perspective, although technology can do most kinds of work, it does not have enough cognitive and mental abilities to analyze sophisticated situations. Besides, without human operation, it cannot be run efficiently since it does not know how to maintain itself properly.  
  
It is true that computers are superior than some people in multiple fields. However, there are certain positions which humans are irreplaceable. Content creator and doctor are typical examples. When it comes to creativity, machine cannot create hilarious contents or replicate all the senses of a human being. If a machine try to make a funny video, perhaps it will cause robotic effects, and make its audience feel bored. In terms of medical profession, there are jobs needed to be extremely meticulous. Computers are less likely to perform surgery on human body because it may cause deaths.  
  
On top of that, finding enough energy to run itself is beyond the ability of what a machine can do. Reaching for gas is easy, but how to prevent it from rusting, especially in humid areas is a big question. Most materials used to make computers need to be maintained regularly by human. It is easily noticed that luxury car brand and airplane equip the best cover for their product comes along with the best warranty service. It proves that even a machine having the best material also needs preserving by humans.  
  
For these reasons, computers cannot replace human in the future due to the lack of mental and self-maintained abilities.
Computers are believed to be smarter than humans by several scientists in no time.  
This sentence does not make sense. The reference point in the original is " will soon become intelligent ". That please cannot be translated into a slang (non- academic) phrase, " in no time". You are also using a past time reference ( believed) for something happening at present time. These 2 confusing presentations in one sentence will confuse the leader no end.  
  
From my perspective  
Your perspective is not based on an extent response. Hence a failing TA score due to an improper response format.  
  
which humans are irreplaceable  
finding enough energy to run itself is beyond the ability of what a machine can do.  
Topic deviation. The question is not about robots replacing humans, it is about robot intelligence surpassing human intellect.  
  
The overall response does not refer to the provided discussion . It is possible that your essay will have an unsatisfactory score because of your discussion misconception.
Computers are believed to be smarter than humans by several scientists in no time.  
You have used an incorrect verb form (are believed - past participle) in this sentence. The expression "in no time" indicates that the action will take place in the future. Please consider revising :)  
  
From my perspective, although technology can do most kinds of work, it does not have enough cognitive and mental abilities to analyze sophisticated situations.  
This is your thesis statement; however, I have found several issues. Firstly, you have not answered the question correctly. The question, " To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?" means how FAR you agree or disagree with the given statement ( I agree, I strongly agree, I disagree, I strongly disagree, etc.). Secondly, you have not clearly stated your opinion. The word "technology" is a general term which means it also includes other tools; thus, it does not specifically refer to computers. Thirdly, I would like to emphasize that the pronoun "it" refers to technology, not to computers; hence, you have to consider correct word choice as well to improve this sentence.
## the extended family is not common anymore

  
  
In our modern world, more and more adults are choosing to have their own family instead of becoming a part of a joint family, which is happening not just in America and Europe but also in the other continents. In my personal view, I do believe this is a good sign of our society despite many others' skepticism about this phenomenon.  
  
There are definitely some tempting facets of contributing yourself to an extended family, especially in many traditional Asian countries. Fencing for yourself is never easy, which usually leads young people to the decision of sharing their lives with their other relatives. Also, living under one roof and spending quality time together is the best way to bond emotionally and physically with each other. This can be easily seen in many close-knit families.  
  
Nevertheless, having your own family can open the yuppies to a significantly independent lifestyle. Paying small expenses is the very first step in becoming better versions of themselves. For that, people become more aware of the true value of their income. Working with other people to solve every problem you encounter also helps to improve interpersonal skills. Nobody can live without society, however, learning to handle the problem by yourself and seeking help from others always give them more initiation, reactiveness, and a sense of responsibility in their lives.  
  
Plus, the number of conflicts over generational beliefs can reduce considerably due to the similarity between those born during the same period of time. Sometimes, commotions can arise over either minor changes or great upheavals in ordinary lives because of the difference in intergenerational opinions. Parents, let alone grand and great grandparents, are always notorious for their obsolete perceptions, viewed from younger generations, about many mundane issues such as equality or spending habits.  
  
Overall, while living in an extended family seems to be a good idea, but it does not really fit in the mainstream mindset of many people anymore. There are many shortcomings and difficulties, however, it is irrefutable that a nuclear family can function just as well as an extended one and even better than in a number of aspects.
The essay will not get a passing score due to an unrelated discussion presentation. The focus of the topic should be on people living alone. You are discussing people who choose to have their own family. a person with a family is not living alone. Your reference topic and discussion approach are unacceptable due to its irrelevance and lack of proper connection to the original topic.  
  
This is another example of how a long essay is useless when the presentation is incorrect. You will fail because you did not provide the correct discussion presentation. It is unrelated to the topic. Once the TA score fails, there is no recovering from it to pass the test.  
  
Since these are practice essays , ask for explanations if you are uncertain about the discussion approach. That is how you learn how to properly respond to the questions.