dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
## the graph below shows changes in global food and oil prices between 2000 and 2011

  
  
The line graph gives information about the fluctuations of food price index and average oil price in the world from 2000 to 2011.  
Overall, the both points of food and oil prices were a correlation. Furthermore, It is remarkable that the oil price was higher than another.  
Looking at the graph in detail, while the food price index was about 90 points and the oil price was 20$ at the same in 2000, at the end of 2011 that was a significant growth to around 240 point and 100$, respectively.  
  
Additionally, there was a dramatic rise at the highest points of oil price at about 130 dollars in middle 2008, the figure for the food price index was at 220 points. After only a half year, the both index witnessed a deep drop to 140 points of food index and about 40$ for oil index in 2009. Luckily, the both indexes were the back increase and there was a recovery at the end of the period which was given.  
  
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There is a correlation measurement indicated in the original image. When the writer referred to the correlation, that specific measurement should have been included. That is a very important part of the presentation and the examiner would have expected to read a complete mention of it as it was highlighted in red within the data presentation. It should have been referred to as the only trending reference in the report.  
  
When creating the data paragraphs, the information must be separated by various punctuation marks such as commas and periods. Every sentence must be properly developed either as a complex or simple sentence. The second paragraph does not meet this data and sentence presentation requirement. As a run on, it fails to add clarity and coherence to the report.
## Everyone should become vegetarian because they do not need to eat meat to have a healthy diet

  
  
In this digital age, school of thoughts hold the view that everyone should become vegetarians because of the fact that a healthy meal does not necessarily require meat. From my point of view, I am strongly disagreed with the aforementioned idea for the insufficient health values and not widespread popularity.  
  
To begin with, becoming a vegetarian can lay disadvantageous effects on each individual's health. As a matter of fact, the presence of vegetables cannot comprehensively compensate for the absence of meat. Meat is highly comprised of several useful components, such as protein or carbohydrate, which provides people with an adequate source of energy. Lacking these nutritional values, each person may experience a shortage of calories to meet their energy needs. Consequently, he or she could feel too lethargic to maintain his or her daily activities.  
  
Furthermore, strictly sticking to a vegetarian diet is considered to be tedious and therefore not entirely applied to the whole community. To be more detailed, by only following a vegetarian diet, people are unable to thoroughly experience the diversity of cuisine. Also, the consumption of vegetables is not as delicious as that of meat counterpart. For example, a piece of tofu will never taste as good as a greasy piece of beef. Therefore, many people find it unwise and not necessary to shift from absorbing meat ingredients into becoming a genuine vegetarian.  
  
In conclusion, while it is said that people should be vegetarians because the nutritional value of meat is negligible for a healthy meal, I am totally disapproved of the mentioned idea for negative impacts on health and a lack of enjoyment.
In this digital age  
This has nothing to do with the discussion provided. References must be suitable to the given topic. In this case , the vocabulary and references used should be food related. The above reference is more appropriate for technology discussions.  
  
I am strongly disagreed  
Use this as a response in an extent essay. This topic falls under a simple agree or disagree presentation. Suit the response to the question. Do not use exaggerated terms when it is not implied in the discussion question. While acceptable as a response, there will be deductions due to the wrong response format.  
  
The rest of the essay however, strongly and properly supports the writer's opinion. The paragraphs are well focused and connected. Reasons are easily understood even with some LR and GRA issues. There are minimal errors that will not prevent the essay from achieving a passing score.
**Question**:  
***Due to advances in science and technology, the lifestyle of people everywhere in the world has become similar.***  
## Is this a positive or negative development?

  
  
Recently, the lifestyle of inhabitants across the world has experienced the similarity because of the lightning innovations of science and technology. As far as I concerned, this tendency is inevitable and detrimental to our everyday lives and soon becomes the main driver of our development.  
  
Regarding the explosion of smart devices, billions of individuals, which are mainly influenced by some sole advertisement-based social media, have automatically adopted the latest gadgets at the expense of the environment. This is the result of the notorious smart concept that has been promoted in almost all media and social networks simultaneously, and it is widely accepted by subsequent generations. Consequently, the young, who is leading the changes and motions of the modern world, is willing to purchase the new model, instead of sticking with current devices which is still exceptional function. This is the reason why millions of high-tech devices are being discharged to the natural habitats every year, yet the government and environmentalists still struggle to express the problem properly.  
  
Furthermore, these practices, which have been accelerated by the breakout of Coronavirus, are constantly surged and already developed the sedentary lifestyle among young adults. Since almost of day-to-day activities are executed via smart screen devices around the world, children initially adapted to this current adversity when they are in the age of developing consciousness and perception. This means that they have to be located in the same place and spent half of the day time learning through virtual class, which firstly causes the uncertainty in sleep. When all groups of friends are sharing the same habits and behaviors cultivated deeply on the internet, such as watching films and playing games, they would be fallen into the same trap that hinders their creativity as they have not truly experienced real life.  
  
In conclusion, in spite of the profound effect on our lifestyle of the science and technology development, it negatively hampers the well-being of our next generation and gradually destroys our ecosystem with a great deal of technology garbage. From my perspective, if politicians and regulators will not interfere with these unfavorable tendencies as soon as possible, the planet would be turned into the worse place that we have never encountered before.  
  
Thank you for spending your time reading my essay.
this tendency is inevitable and detrimental to our everyday lives and soon becomes the main driver of our development.  
There are 3 seperate ideas presented in this long sentence. one of the ideas are properly depicted in the presentation. The writer must learn to present 1 idea per sentence. Otherwise, the essay will recieve failing scores in the C + c and G R A sections.  
  
this tendency is inevitable  
The prompt is not asking if the trend is avoidable. Do not give responses unrelated to the original discrission topic. If meant as a part of the reasoning discussion then, it must be included in the thesis outline response.  
  
if politicians and regulators will not interfere  
Read the prompt again. This is NOT a cause-solution essay. This solution presentation is a prompt deviation placed in the concluding summary section. The essay will not qualify for a passing score because of the open-ended discussion created by this disconnected discussion topic.
I'm practising to improve my writing skill, so hope you have a look and give me your feedbacks alongside the band that you think I can get. Thanks a lot!  
  
## Writing ielts task 2 about education

  
  
***TOPIC : SOME PEOPLE ARGUE THAT THE SUBJECTS TAUGHT AT SCHOOL ARE NOT RELEVANT TO REAL LIFE, AND YOUNG PEOPLE ARE ILL-PREPARED FOR SURVIVAL IN TODAY'S COMPETITIVE WORLD OF WORK. OTHERS CONTEND THAT IT IS DUTY OF THE OLDER GENERATION TO PROVIDE THE YOUNGER ONE WITH A GENERAL EDUCATION OF ACADEMIC VALUE AND LIBERAL ARTS, REGARDLESS OF THE SKILLS NEEDED TO SURVIVE IN THE JOB MARKET. TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE?***  
  
It is hard to overstate the importance of schooling: it decides what kind of career we will have and what kind of life we will lead. So, what should and should not be taught at school has been a perennial debate. Some assert that the responsibility to teaching academic subjects belongs to the older generation, while others state that does so is redundant and students need to hone practical skills in today's competitive world of occupation. Both viewpoints are justifiable, but I personally lean towards the former.  
  
On the one hand, it is understandable why some people subscribe to the second view. First, those proponents may argue that this practice will enable students to pursue their dream job and land high-paid job effortlessly through their academic degrees. However, this thinking is flawed, although there will be more educated workforce since the larger enrolment and influx of students into the labour market are actually a primary driving force behind the rising youth unemployment due to its intense competitions. Second, the provision of the old generation in academic value alongside liberal arts education can take a heavy toll on students, because they can take it for granted, so they can be indifferent to its value and lose the drive to work hard. Therefore, students will fail to benefit from their education.  
  
On the other hand, there are many compelling reasons why students should be taught for their preparation against today's competitive world of work. Today, the job market has become very competitive as it is, even for seekers with college qualifications, therefore, without being equipped carefully, it will be a burdensome task to assimilate into society and apply for a job, let alone getting access to a high wage. Consequently, it could be said that the foremost objective of students who attend school is to have a financially viable career after they finish. To this end, essential skill sets, which is related to their area of work, should be taught so as to help students get detailed career guidance, identify a suitable career path and cultivate relevant job skills.  
  
In conclusion, while the provision of academic value and liberal arts education makes it seem like a good idea, I believe that teaching necessary skills to succeed in the society of job competition should be given precedence instead of theoretical subjects at school.
The prompt restatement must be a factual representation of the orginal within 2 sentences. No actual opinion coming from the writer should be found in the restatement The first sentence renders the paraphrase inaccurate. The opinion does notoffer the correct measured response. This is only a partially scorable task representation that could hinder a passing score.  
  
The student has used an incorrect discussion format in the presentation. This response error will definitely result in a failed overall score. A compare and contrast format was used instead of a single opinion justification over 2 related reasoning paragraphs.The writer has shown an inability to understand English instructions. Weak comprehension skills result in discussion instruction deviations such as this presentation. It is a failed writing effort.
## The two graphs illustrate conditions of an island before and after the appearances of tourist facilities.

  
As can be seen, the surface of the island has been changed significantly due to the growth of tourism.  
In the first map, it was an empty island with has a length approximately 250 kilometers. In addition, the beach at the west of the island had not been used for tourist purpose yet.  
  
In the second map, many tourist facilities were built in order to serve human and develop tourism industry on the island. For instance, a pier was constructed at the north side of the island for travelling purpose. Moreover, people created a traffic system on the island's surfaces, including foothpaths and vehicle tracks. Besides, there are two groups of accommodation, separated each other by a reception and a restaurant. Not over yet, it can be seen that the beach at the west of the island has been used for swimming.  
  
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This essay is going to recieve a failing score based on 2 major reasons:  
  
- Lack of written words in relation to the minimum word count of 250 words  
- Improper response format  
  
The improper format relates to the way that the report is presented. The writer neglected to deliver a proper summary of information paragraph + trending statement for the 2 images. It is the lack of this paragraph presentation at the start, representing the restatement + trending explanation that created the scoring problem. The essay lacks in proper word count and has an improper presentation format. Had these requirements not been overlooked, the report may have been considered for a passing score. All task 1 essays have a 3 paragraph requirement.
***Topic:  
Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community.  
They believe this would benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole.***  
  
Do you agree or disagree?  
  
My essay:  
A highly contentious view at issue is that youngsters must do the voluntary works in order to assist their communities because young people and their society would reap many benefits from these works. From my point of view, I totally agree with this opinion and will elaborate on some reasons to justify this stance.  
  
First and foremost, a primary benefit for volunteers would appear to be the improvement of their life skills. That is to say, doing unpaid work helps people to explore their own potential skills and talents. Teenagers could have many chances to experience several fields and activities, which helps them to know what they are interested in and have the ability. Moreover, it is vital that by doing voluntary work, young people could widen their meaningful relationships. There is a proclivity to exchange with co-workers or leaders, who are likely to be in the same fields of career or education.  
  
A further significant factor is that there are many positive repercussions in their societies. This means that when assisted by youngsters, communities could develop faster and effectively overcome difficulties. For instance, In Viet Nam, when the fourth wave of COVID-19 comes, many students at many universities apply for becoming assistants in epicenters such as Binh Duong and Ho Chi Minh city, which helps inhabitants to shop for groceries to reduce the spreading of disease.  
  
On balance, it is logical to conclude that teenagers should be asked to join in voluntary work because of the conferred benefits for themselves and their societies.  
  
P/s: Would you mind giving me an IELTS band score?
The restatement could have been cleaver. 2 seperate ideas were presented in one sentence creating a confusing presentation. As a run-on, it simply lacks proper clarity and cohesion. Use one sentence per idea. That way the required 3-5 sentences per paragraph is also met. Do not tell the examiner what the discussion instructions dre. Provide a proper, topic based thesis sentence as a part of the I to achieve a higher task score and also, create a cohesive discussion outline, which can help with the overall score boost.  
  
repercussions  
Word choice error. Repercussion is a a college level noun referencing a negative effect or result, often indirect or remote, of some negative event or action. Use the term "results" instead to create a positive point and avoid confusing word presentations.  
  
\*Contact me privately for scoring services.
## acid rain in the UK

  
  
The line graph illustrates the figures for acid rain emissions per million tons in four different sectors in the United Kingdom over a period of 17 years.  
  
Overall, It can be clearly seen that the UK experienced a considerable drop in the amount of emissions in electricity, gas, and water, domestic and other industries sectors, the opposite was true for transport and communication sector.  
  
In 1991, the amount of emissions in electricity, gas and water was recorded at the highest level of 3.4 million among three different sectors, there were around 2 million tonnes, 0.7 million tonnes, and 0.6 million tonnes in other industries, transport and communication, and domestic sectors, respectively.  
  
Electricity, gas, and water decreased significantly to 0.8 million tonnes in the amount of emissions rain acid in 2007, while there were a slight rose by 1 million tonnes in transport and communication sectors, acid rain emissions from domestic and other industries sector fell slowly to 0.2 million tons and 1.1 million tons, respectively.  
  
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The writer is prone to writing in compressed presentation sentences rather than properly structured sentences and paragraphs. Known as a run- on, this type of sentence structure directly lowers the exam score in the C + C and G R A sections. The score is lowered because the data becomes difficult to understand due to confusing analysis references. Properly formed sentences contain one idea or data presentation in one sentence.  
  
These related idea sentences are what comprise a paragraph. How well the sentences connect in the paragraph and how clearly the reporting paragraphs connect to one another are what comprise the C + C store. The G R A is based on proper simple and complex sentence structure and usage. These elements are not in this essay.
## Different opinions about tourism

  
  
In recent years, tourism has increased so much and that brings the economy a lot of benefits. However, there is a debate about its negative impact on local inhabitants and the environment. In my point of view, the good of tourism is bigger than the bad it obtains.  
  
Firstly, tourism brings the local and the government profit that can raise the local's life and give people more choice of work. In some ethnic areas, women don't have much chance to work, all they can do is housekeeper or take care of their children, which is not bring profit. But when tourism develops, women can make handicrafts, clothes, instruments... to sell for the tourist and take some money.  
  
Secondly, tourism itself does not cause damage to the environment or the local inhabitants. These problems are caused by the unawareness of tourists. In fact, we can not stop people from wasting trash by close all the travel destinations. On the other hand, the profit tourism brings can be used to regenerate and maintain the beauty of these places or make a media campaign to raise people's awareness of protecting tourist's nature.  
  
As shown above, one understands that the development of tourism has tremendous impacts on the economy and should not try to claim all false caused by people to tourism.
the economy  
An economic discussion was not stated in the original prompt. The reference is for a general advantage reference. The restatement should do the same. This is a restatement inaccuracy that will affect the task score.  
  
obtains  
Improper vocabulary and word usage. Obtain is a verb that refers to an act that allows a person to come into possession of; get, acquire, or procure, as through an effort or by a request. One of the more appropriate references would have been u recieves" As in "the image it recieves" in reference to a public opinion. This is an elementary word usage error.  
  
the local and the government  
The local what? Community? Industry? there is a missing subject here.  
  
don't  
Contractions cannot be used in academic writing. Use both words instead.  
  
On the other hand,  
Improper phrase usage.Grammar error. The correct word would have been " Rather" an elementary advert that refuseto an act reflective of a more appropriate, proper, or better reasoning suggestion.
***The charts below show the result of a survey of adult education. The first chart shows the reason why adults decide to study. The pie chart shows how people think the costs of adult education should be shared.***  
  
## Write a report for a university lecturer, describing the information shown below.

  
  
Here is my essay:  
  
The charts provide information on the reason why adult population sign up for the course and how such tuition fees should be shared. In general, the most attractive of students to take part in education is interest in subject, and individuals is the main fund of course payment.  
  
Turning to detail, in the bar chart, interest in subject and gain the qualifications top the chart, take up 40% and 38%, respectively. Besides, around 20% adults decide to join the course because it is helpful for current job, improve prospects of promotion and they enjoy learning. Finally, meeting people and change in jobs stand at the bottom of figure and are responsible 9% and 12%.  
  
On the other hand, as can be seen from pie chart, people pay almost thier tuition fees themselves, make up to 40%, followed by employer pay with 35%. Meanwhile, taxpayer occupies over half as much cost as individual does. An interesting feature that purposes of enhancing job prospect and enjoying learning share the same figures of exactly 20% each.  
  
I am thankful for anyone's feedback for me. Thank you very much and have a good day  
  
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The charts provide  
Read the instructions again. The images must be individually identified for accuracy purposes.  
  
most attractive of students  
You are not writing a fashion and beauty report. Never use non-academic word descriptions. This phrase, in particular, does not meet academic audience standards. Remember the audience and use audience related reference words in the report.  
  
Turning to detail,  
On the other hand  
The second reference must be used in tandem with, " On the one hand" as you are trying to establish a valid comparative discussion. The confusing use of anchor phrases rather than topic sentences lower the clarity and grammar accuracy score of the presentation.  
  
thier  
Learn to proofread and spellcheck. This is a minimal L R deduction but, a deduction nonetheless.