dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
Your format is totally incorrect and does not apply the proper GRA requirements to the presentation which could very well result in a failing score for this essay. There are 2 points of view to be discussed in every reasoning paragraph. Each public point of view must be presented with an explanation of the public analysis of the situation, using third person references to make it clear to the examiner that the presentation is explaining said point of view, then the end of it, should have your personal point of view, using first person pronouns to indicate your opinion for each public presentation.  
  
In this presentation, it appears that you combined the discussion for both public points of view in a single paragraph, which has made the presentation unclear to the reader. You need to have 2 separate paragraphs with clear discussion separation presentations. Your discussion is not effective due to the lack of proper discussion reference points and proper formatting for the presentation.
***Question:***  
  
**Some high schools have a requirement that students must complete a certain amount of volunteer work in order to graduate.  
## *WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THIS TYPE OF REQUIREMENT?***  
**Give details to support your opinion.**  
  
***My Essay:***  
  
Being a student with a requirement like that, I strongly disagree with the idea of putting it into one of the graduation limitations. The original meaning of this was to help the student develop better and cultivate the sense of volunteering. Nevertheless, the meaning of volunteer work has completely altered after implementing the graduating requirement.  
  
From my perspective, the definition of volunteer work is an act of dedication to the community or society wholeheartedly without asking for any reward, thus it cannot be quantified. Once doing so, some students will complete the minimum amount of volunteer work with a hasty and rash attitude, and they just regard it as a chore. To them, volunteer work is more like a task than an act inspired by the inner heart, and it defies the original meaning of volunteer work. Moreover, the quality of work done by volunteer workers is also declined because of the above-mentioned attitude among students.  
  
On the other hand, volunteer work seems to be unrelated to a person's academic achievements, which made the restrictions unreasonable. Students may lose their diplomas just because of their insufficient volunteer work "scores", which hinders them from applying to universities.  
  
In conclusion, the implementation has defied the meaning of volunteer work radically, and it completely undermines the quality of volunteer work. Without the limitation, students can devote themselves to what they love more, while those who have fond of helping others can do volunteer work more wholeheartedly. For these reasons, I think the minimum requirement for volunteer work should be lifted.  
  
--Hope to hear from some review about structures and sentence improvements. Thanks in advance!
Are you writing this for a TOEFL or IELTS Test? You have not created a proper representation of the discussion requirement for either format. You do not have a subject in the first sentence before you present your response. To be clear, there is no clarity to the following presentation:  
  
Being a student with a requirement like that  
- What requirement? Remember in the IELTS test, you need to present a topic restatement. In a TOEFL test, you need to at least mention the topic within your direct response to the question. Without it, the presentation doesn't make any sense. Since you have a topic sentence in the second half of the presentation, you should have started with that first, or immediately presented that information first. Again, the presentation format will depend on the type of English test you are taking. Do not confuse the IELTS and TOEFL writing tasks. Though they have the same topics at times, the discussion presentations are highly different in format and scoring criteria.
***It is important that children with a wide range of abilities and from a variety of social backgrounds mix with each other at school.***  
## To what extent do you agree or disagree?

  
  
Schools should not separate learners with distinct abilities and backgrounds, some suggest. Based on my considerations, I am of this opinion, since this blend would ultimately benefit students.  
  
Schoolers with wide-ranging skills should learn in the same classes for a range of justifications. Firstly, they can learn new skills from each other, and thus achieve higher academic outcomes. To illustrate, students with better mental math ability can share several ways to improve these skills to other students as a way to improve their arithmetic results. Moreover, the aforementioned guiders may also be benefited since they house a chance to sharpen their communication skills and revise knowledge. If not, they would struggle to express their ideas clearly and assist other learners. What this illustration reveals is that a majority of students can improve their knowledge when learning in an environment with people having distinct abilities.  
  
Likewise, students from an assortment of backgrounds should learn in the same environment. In other words, they should not be classed by their backgrounds, but other factors, including theoretical knowledge. This case would enable educators to understand their students' academic levels, and hence can choose the most suitable pedagogical methodology as well as assignments for their students. Mixing students with different backgrounds can also allow them to learn more about how society operates and the variety of races, genders, and classes. School-aged children, therefore, can grasp a deep understanding of societal problems and be open-minded. As a result, they become well-informed citizens which may be valuable for the future.  
  
In conclusion, some assert that the mixture of students with distinct skill sets and backgrounds is of paramount importance. I am on the side of this belief since from an educational perspective, it is advantageous for skill acquisition and personal development of learners.  
  
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Thank you for reading!
This is an essay with a perfect line of reasoning. Well developed, presented, and clearly explained. The essay itself shows that you clearly understood the discussion topic provided and the reasons that wouild justify proper reasoning. You were able to convince the reader of your opinion because you managed to discuss relevant and related reasons in both reasoning paragraphs. However, the perfection of the essay is affected by one teeny, tiny flaw. You did not respond to the discussion question properly.  
  
The discussion question is "To what extent do you agree or disagree?" You gave a non response to the question. You said "I am of this opinion". Which means you simply agree. There is no range or measurement of agreement with the opinion such as, "I agree completely with this suggestion as students will benefit from the mixed skills classroom experience."  
  
Aside from that flaw in the TA section, the response to the question in terms of reasoning is very good and highly qualified for a good score.
## the future of printed newspapers in the internet era

  
  
Holding a newspaper, looking at the hottest news of the day while sipping a cup of coffee has been one of life's little happiness. However, owing to the development of technology and the appearance of the internet, people can get information from various means of communication. It is argued that whether humans will still consider reading newspapers as the main way of getting updated. For me, I strongly believe that the flourishing of the internet will soon make online sources a dominant place for people to read news.  
  
Firstly, online news can be updated faster and easier to spread. With a computer, a journalist can finish an article and post it on the website within only 15 to 30 minutes. More and more people are using social networks platforms today so just by a click at the share button, news is spread all over the world in the blink of an eye. In addition, publishing online is more economical so a lot of press companies choose to establish a website of their own. These websites are user-friendly and can be included with videos so watching the news is more enjoyable and easier to absorb. Advocates of newspapers may say that there are too many sources of news on the internet that people can get distracted and sometimes end up believing the wrong information. Traditional newspapers however are more reliable as they are from official and big companies. This may be true but I have to say that these companies are now having their websites too. For example the new york times, cnn, bcc... and people can absolutely choose these official sites to read news so that they can avoid fake ones.  
  
Another reason is that online news is super convenient. People can read it everywhere, at any time with nothing other than their phones. Especially, the majority of these online sources are free to access, in comparison with newspapers.  
  
In conclusion, I disagree that printed newspapers would continue to be the most crucial source of information because more and more people will be drawn to use the Internet.
There are several prompts in relation to newspapers and the internet that this essay could allude to. I am not sure about which of these prompts you are responding to because of the lack of the original prompt presentation. So I will just go along with what you wrote, basing my comments on the possible topic as indicated in your restatement. Which, I hope, is an accurate representation of the original prompt.  
  
The first problem with your essay is the addition of information in the first 2 sentences of the restatement. This creates an inaccurate representation of the original prompt. You are expected to fully restate the original presentation without adding any irrelevant information as you did with the first 2 sentence presentations in that paragraph. The focus of scoring for that paragraph is prompt restatement accuracy. So additional information, just to make the discussion more interesting isn't required. If it is not related in content to the original discussion, you will not get additional point for it.  
  
There is no need for the opposing discussion in the second paragraph. You should be focused only on convincing the reader that your opinion is the correct one. That is why you are given 2 paragraphs within which to present your supporting information, without having to refer to a comparative discussion. No comparative discussion reference was made in the original essay, I am sure of it. Therefore, the opposing argument does not help in this aspect. Again, it will not get you extra points.  
  
The second reasoning is under developed. It lacks content, explanation, and justifications. It is going to further pull down your TA score due to lack of proper idea development. Overall, you did not do a very good job with this presentation. You should always make sure that you represent the original discussion points only. Do not add, do not discuss other aspects when not required, and always develop your explanations to get a better overall score.
Hi, I am here to remind you that you have missed some commas, and I think it is improper to take it away:  
This may be true**,** but I have to say that...  
  
Besides, sentences here might have some issues, and I have revised them:  
....these companies are now **also** having their websites~~.~~**such as New York Times, CNN, etc.** ~~For example the new york times, cnn, bcc...~~ ~~and~~ ~~p~~People can absolutely choose these official sites to read news so that they can avoid fake ones.  
  
**Since** more and more people **nowadays** are using social network~~s~~ platforms ~~today~~ **,** ~~just by~~ a click ~~at~~ **on** the share button ~~, news is spread~~  **can spread the news** all over the world in the blink of an eye.  
  
Hope these comments helps!
## the most suitable age to learn a foreign language

  
  
Education is one of the most important problems, which is by government,educationalits and parents. "How old is the best age to learn a foreign language?". Traditionally, the youngsters have begun learning language at secondary school. However, it is believed that learning a new language should be studied when children learn at primary school. This essay will support this argument by analyzing advantages as well as disadvantages of the best age to learn a new language.  
  
On the one hand, there are some disadvantages when children studies at primary school. Firstly, childern need study other subjects that are more important at the age such as maths, mother tongue language. Therefore, learning new language is not only confusing and wastes time but also could put off development of child's first language. In addition, primary school teacher are generalists, which could cause difficulties in teaching as well as studying.  
  
On the other hand, pupils who begin learning a foreign language at primary school gain several benefits. The first, the youngsters could learn faster because they are less self-conscious or shy as adolescents. They also pick up pronunciation; especially they enjoy copying and learning through games or images,which assist them learn a new language quite quickly. Moreover, nowadays languages are just as important as maths, because of the world communication. Knowing a foreign language , therefore, is one of most important advantages .  
  
In conclusion, the best at age to learn foreign language is still a lot of different ideal, but in my opinion, children should begin learning a new language early, which help them expand future
The actual prompt for this essay is based on the discussion that children tend to benefit more from learning a foreign language in primary school rather than secondary school. You are being asked to compare the advantages and disadvantages of this idea. You are not being asked to support one side of the discussion. An non-opinion based comparative discussion is required for this presentation. The problem, is that even though you presented the correct response to the discussion instructions, you added information to the essay restatement that was not part of the original discussion which is about the age best suited to learning a foreign language. You must never pose a rhetorical question in the prompt restatement because that totally changes the discussion topic. As such, your response is only partially correct and will receive a not so passing score in the TA section because of it.  
  
There are referencing errors in your reasoning paragraphs. In the first reasoning paragraph, you indicated " there are some disadvantages when children studies at primary school." Studies what? Where is the subject of that sentence? What is the child going to study at a disadvantage. That is an improperly developed sentence. There is no logic to the presentation. The reference to language studies should be done twice in that sentence. Once as a topic sentence and another, as a transition sentence.  
  
Do not present an opinion when the prompt is not asking you present one. You will get a reduced TA score for changing the discussion instructions twice in one essay. The conclusion should merely repeat the topic, and the reasons for advantages and disadvantages, nothing more.
Hello, I think that there's some misuse with your essays:  
Firstly, childern need **to** study other subjects ....  
~~The~~ first, ~~the~~ youngsters could learn ....  
  
Besides, I revised some of your sentences:  
~~Knowing~~ **Having a good command of** a foreign language , therefore, ...  
children should begin ... ~~early~~ **as early as possible**, which help them ~~expand future~~ **create more possibilities in the future**.  
  
Hope these comments helps!
***A university notices some first-year have poor studying skills. Some in the university believe all first-year students should be required to take a course on studying skills, but others don't agree.***  
  
## What is your opinion?

  
  
Being a student take skills to study, besides entering a whole new environment to study. Some people suggest that all of the first-year students should take a course of study skills, still, others disagree with the idea. However, in my opinion, I don't think taking one course is effective to help student study.  
  
To begin with, not all of the students use the same way to study. One function is helpful for some students, but the same function may be ineffective way to another student. On the other hand, different subjects also need to study in different ways. For example, I always recite in history class to get good grades, yet once I recite in the math test, I almost failed the test. I think there are a lot of ways to study, one course may teach skills how to study, but that may not be the best way.  
  
Furthermore, finding the skills to study is another ability for students to learn. After graduating from school, there is much more new stuff for social freshmen to explore. It is also a new environment to learn, but there's no teacher to teach. People may get panic or depress if they didn't train for learning new things by themselves before. So I think it is a good time for people to explore in university.  
  
By the way, taking another course for an unnecessary class may be a stress for new students. If it is not so valuable to take this class, new students need to use their study time to take this course. It may lead the new students to condense their time on studying the main subjects. So their score may be lower. It causes the opposite effect.  
  
To sum up, I think it's not a necessary course for first-year students.
Hey, how are you? Just some tips:  
  
> avoid repetition in the text: "Being a student take skills to study, ... environment ~~to study~~". I think you can remove the second "To study" from the sentence.  
  
And during the essay you repeatly say that you don't think that the course on studying skills would be necessary (and it's okay, you are answering what they ask).  
  
But I think that would be nice if you could add an idea of what do you think can be the best way (or a different way that could help first-years students gain studying skills, without being necessary to take a course)  
  
Just my opinion!  
  
Good Luck!!
the proportion of Vietnamese learners studying in different countries  
  
Please give me some advice for my essay, thank you very much in advance.  
The line graph compares the average figure of Vietnamese international students learning in three different countries from 2000 to 2015.  
Overall, the proportion of Vietnamese learners studying in the US and France increased significantly, while a slight drop in students in Russia. Also, the figure for international students in the US is the highest.  
  
In 2000, the number of Vietnamese students studied in France reached a peak, at more than 3,5 million, in comparison to 3 million in Russian and 1,5 million in American. Over the next five years, the proportion of international students in France and Russia declined to around 1 million, whereas going to America rose to more than 2 million.  
  
In 2005, there was a substantial growth stand at 5 million in 2015. By contrast, the number of students increased by 2 million during this period. In the year 2010, the proportion of international learners hit the lowest point under 2 million. On the contrary, It was going up to 2.5 million at the end of the period.  
  
*   
*This is a picture*
Interesting essay! Some minor changes I would make:  
-"while **there was** a slight drop ..."  
-For your graph title, I would drop "The graph below shows" unless you were asked to describe the graph instead of title it.  
-For the USA, Say United States instead of America.  
-Are you Vietnamese? Generally in English speaking countries we flip the use of periods and commas in numbers as "decimal separators" from how France or Vietnam would use it. So in the US or UK it would be 3.5 million or 3,500,000. I'm not sure if you change it while writing in English in a country that uses the other version!
The report lacks an analysis of tge overlapping years when the USA and the other 2 countries had an equal number of enrollees. The instructions for this essay include a portion for making comparisons where relevant. The most significant comparison upon first scanning the image are the intersection points where the data for countries meet in equal numbers. These should have also been noted in your report as it would have added a deeper analysis of the given image, adding to your TA score in the process. When writing these analyrical essays, you should try to go deeper into the presentation whenever you can. That is to prove that you have the thinking, mindset, and analytical abilities of a student who is entering university. Use comprehensive rather than simple data analysis when you can. Simple analysis is used for diagrams, comprehensive is used for measured presentations.
@Holt  
Here's my edit on Body 2, please help me:  
The 2005-2015 period witnessed considerable growth in the figure of Vietnamese students in France, Russia, and the US. To be specific, the number of Vietnamese students in the US surpassed that of France and Russia became the country with the highest Vietnamese international, approximately 5 million, compared to 4.5 million in France and 2.5 million in Russia in the same period.
***question:***  
***Video games are very popular with children. However, some parents feel that video games can have a negative impact on their children, but others believe that they may have some positive effects.  
  
HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT CHILDREN PLAYING VIDEO GAMES?  
Give specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.***  
  
***My essay:***  
Video games have long been controversial among people on whether they are beneficial to children, and some parents are against it. However, in my perspective, some video games are beneficial to children and can broaden children's horizons by playing different games. By playing different types of games, children can enhance their ability to solve the problem by doing tasks or quests in the games.  
  
Sandbox games such as Minecraft, for example, can inspire children's creativity by creating a myriad of things using simple blocks. The open and borderless environment enables children to exert their potential to create anything, including houses, automatic machines, and so on.  
  
On top of that, the founder further announced an educational collaboration with America's primary schools. The project aims to lower the learning difficulty and entice students to learn by implementing Minecraft in teaching.  
  
Playing games is not always equivalent to addiction or violent behaviour. However, the game itself creates a virtual realm for children to expand their imagination and creativity.  
  
Hope to hear some advice about the grammar, redundant word reducing and structure. Thanks in advance!
Is this for a task 2 essay? If it is, then you have not written enough words to get a passing score at the end. You have to write at least 250 words. Since you did not properly provide the word count required, your discussions are all underdeveloped and lacking in reasoning, which is where your C8C score will be based. Your paragraphs are lacking in sentence presentations. You consistently write only 2 sentences per paragraph where the minimum requirement is 3, with a maximum of 5 sentences. While you did present good reasons and discussion foundations, it is the lack of full on thought development that hindered the clarity and quality of your discussion presentation.