dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
people are migrating to other city  
People is a plural reference to "person". "City" is a singular reference to "Cities", the plural form of the word. You must use consistent numerical references. Singular references for singular statements, and plural statements for plural subject references. Points lost for grammar knowledge and word usage accuracy.  
  
There is a widespread worry about related to this situation.  
Prompt topic deviation. The original prompt merely referred to a question of the advantage or disadvantage of this topic. There was no worry nor debate about it. You will lose points for misinterpreting the original topic in your restatement.  
  
In this essay I will going to prove my point.  
Points lost yet again for not answering in the required format. Do you see this as an advantage or disadvantage? You need not use flowery words of wisdom, you need to be direct to the point and clearly responsive to the task question.  
  
First and primary scoring consideration for the essay response has already failed at this point. It leaves the exam taker with very little leeway to pass the test. It will be next to impossible due to lack of grammar control, obvious lack of English comprehension skills, and incorrect opinion statement format. There is no sense in reviewing the rest of the essay since it has already failed to meet the minimum passing requirements.
***Some people say that when dividing how taxes should be spent, the government should prioritize health care.***  
## To what extent do you agree or disagree?

  
  
Conventional wisdom has it, the taxes should be exploited wisely to benefit the taxpayers and the general public. Some argue that health care ought to put in the first priority while the others consider there are also other worth-noting aspects in lives deserve much more attention by the government when it comes to the arrangement of the taxes. I personally agree that the government should take into account other aspects, particularly the education-wise in order to use the taxes wisely.  
  
There is no doubt that health care is the most essential part of human beings' lives. Therefore, the taxes seemingly should be chiefly spent in this field in light of the reasons stated below. Firstly, the grassroots cannot afford the exorbitant fees of private hospital. The government has been employing the taxes to provide the much cheaper public hospital services to the general public. Without the governmental subsidies, the poor could hardly bear the costs of health care. Secondly, investing in health care sector must be attached importance to because of the mammoth threats of pandemic. In the post-pandemic era, it is worth noting that slight loophole of preventing the coronavirus to invade the community could take a huge toll on the economy and public health. Therefore, the government absolutely needs establish a decent health care system to benefit the general public.  
  
Nevertheless, the financial support in educational system should never be turned a blind eye to. Children have to be well-educated to not only learn the technical knowledge, but also cultivate and nurture their soft skills like the development interpersonal relationship. The school provides an impeccable platform for the pupils to experience the life in mini society. Therefore, the taxes should be deployed to provide free education to the general public to let every child receive the equal chance to learn and experience the social life. In addition, the authorities could employ the taxes to establish a scholarship mechanism to reward the incoming foreign students. The incoming students could make the school environment diverse, they could promote the development of multicultural learning as well. As a case in point, South Korea has established a rewarding system which allows the foreign students to enjoy the free-of-charge university education as long as they show the high enthusiasm and understanding toward Korea. The financial support in education is a must to nurture the future pillar of society.  
  
In a nutshell, albeit health care should be prioritized because of its significance, the decent financial support is also required to deliver the comprehensive welfares to the general public. It is the responsibility of the government to spare no efforts to investigate how to make use of the taxpayers' money wisely.
There is a 40 minute limitation on this writing task. As such, you cannot approach this as a scientific paper or college thesis presentation of almost 500 words. Rather, you must write a simple personal opinion of no more than 300 words as you have to focus not on the advanced word usage, not on the length of the essay, but on the quality of the quick explanation and reasoning that you will be providing.  
  
You already committed an automatic failing score error in the first paragraph when you failed to properly reflect a simple prompt restatement and an accurate, measured personal opinion as required in that section. Regardless of your thesis statement, you must meet the formatting requirement for the response first. That means, no lengthy discussion of your personal opinion in the segment. Just a simple retelling of the required elements and quick presentation of the personal opinion with a short thesis statement. The essay, even though it is extremely long, has already recieved a failing score. All because you chose to disregard the scoring elements of the presentation.  
  
This is just a simple, general discussion, you turned it into a college level thesis. That is not the requirement. The test is for a general discussion, without specific discussion targets, just base your opinion on the general sentiment. It is not meant to be over complicated. Not with only 40 minutes to write the draft and perfect the grammar. The latter is something that you failed to do when your score is based on grammar usage. Long essays force grammar errors and under developed paragraphs. This is what happened in your case.
## IELTS WRITING TASK 2: ENVIRONMENTAL PROBLEMS

  
  
SOME INDUSTRIALIZED COUNTRIES HAVE SERIOUS ENVIRONMENTAL PROBLEMS. THE DAMAGE TO THE ENVIRONMENT IS AN INEVITABLE RESULT WHEN A COUNTRY TENDS TO IMPROVE THE STANDARD OF LIVING. TO WHAT EXTEND DO YOU AGREE?  
  
The rapid industrialization should be entwined with the degradation of environment remains a topic of debate. My stance is that economic advancement should not be entirely blamed for environment issues and there are several appropriate methods that governments can implement to deal with these problems.  
  
Admittedly, there is empirical evidence suggesting how much harm countries thriving economically are doing to the environment. This can be seen in the exhaustion of natural resources due to extensive logging and mining, the extinction of many animal species due to poaching and the pollution of various kinds due to industrial and agricultural waste. Such problems, however, are fundamentally caused by the lack of public green's awareness and maladroit governments that either overlook the repercussions of their inaction or condone pernicious human activities because of short- term economic incentives.  
  
I am convinced that the raising of living condition would not be achieved at the cost of environment if efficient operating methods are performed. Firstly, governments should take advantage of the technology development to produce green products, and recycle the disposed rubbish to reduce the impact of pollution. They should also heavily invest in alternative energy sources such as wind, hydro, solar power and make them viable for public use. In addition, authorities should impose and enforce strict laws to punish individuals or companies that have harmful practices to the environment. Thus, the environment could still be protected if governments around the world strove for economic sustainability.  
  
In conclusion, I believed that by taking feasible measures, the environment protection can be put into action simultaneously with the process of industrialization.
This is not a school research paper. This is a task 2 IELTS essay. The focus of this test is to prove that you can function in an English language classroom by proving your English comprehension and reasoning skills. That is why the first paragraph of this essay is known as the prompt restatement + personal opinion section. The examiner will assess your ability to restate a problem and offer a relevant response. Niether of which you did in this essay because you chose to take the research statement route and discuss the topic in the first paragraph. You failed to meet the scoring requirements for the task. You have failed to achieve a passing mark for the TA score due to the missing prompt restatement and relevant opinion. Nothing else matters. You have already shown an inability to restate a problem and, follow an instructed discussion format.
## People tend to work longer hours nowadays.

  
***Working long hours has a negative effect on themselves their families and the society so working hours should be restricted. Do you agree or disagree?***  
  
Individuals have tended to prefer extended workdays which have various disadvantages on their health, their family life and the community, so the government should ban the phenomenon. In my perspective, I completely agree with the idea of limiting work hours.  
  
Workers' physical health has been harmed as a result of working excessive hours. People who work overtime are frequently exhausted, according to statistics. This is due to greater hours spent sitting at a workplace, gazing at a computer, and less physical exercise. As a result, individuals are more likely to experience health problems, including obesity, anxiety disorders, or even stroke. In the case of addiction, a study showed that individuals who were sedentary, were twice as likely to die prematurely than those who worked only around eight hours a day since they had more time to exercise regularly.  
  
Working overtime has a negative influence on not only one's physical health but also on one's emotional health. Long hours at work mean less time to relax and sleep. As a result, our possibilities for depression are increased, resulting in a reduction in job satisfaction and productivity. At the same time, the proportion of people quitting their occupations would skyrocket. As an example, consider my uncle. He spends over eleven hours every day at the workplace and is now suffering from depression and stress.  
  
In conclusion, I believe that the authorities should take measures to minimize this trend, as frequent working long hours has a harmful influence on employees' physical and mental health.
on their health  
There is no reference to the health of the person in the original statement. It indicates "themselves", which is not the same "their health". This is an incorrect synonym usage. The more appropriate phrase or word to have used here would have been "personal lives" since this refers to the idea of harming "themselves".  
  
I completely agre  
There is a difference between an extent response and a simple response in this essay. While both refer to agree or disagree, the former uses the hint "to what extent" in refence to "completely agree". Where "to what extent" is not present, the response should simply be "I agree".  
  
according to statistics.  
You can skip information sources in the task 2 essay because the task calls for only your personal opinion, regardless of whether the information is made up or accurate. The examiner is interested in the way that you analyze questions and deliver responses. He does not require a source for the information.  
  
consider my uncle  
Good touch that can increase the scoring potential. Personal examples help show how well you understood the question and how you apply the same to your personal insight. Well done.  
  
The conclusion only contains 29 words, this must have at least 40 words to be considered a proper reverse paraphrase. The original topic was not restated as required. Neither were the topic sentences rephrased for this section. Both of which are the basis of the score for this paragraph.
## Many tasks from school to home for students

  
  
It is believed by a large array of people that doing many additional assignments after school time is beyond doubt of no importance, while others are liable to have their descendants delivered large amount of homework. Owing to multiple objective reasons, understandably, I would tend to the latter.  
  
The assertion that education is an undoubtedly fundamental factor in contributing to nation-building is nothing new. Almost all aspects relating to this field are accordingly always a fiery debated topic among people from every walk of life, one of which is the teacher's giving school-goers much homework. On the one hand, there are a host of reasons which make this phenomenon a controversial one. The most conspicuous excuse is that children in this society have a tendency to be under snow with hectic schedule timetables because of their parents' unrealistic expectations. Secondly, a wide range of negative effects are exerted on kids themselves if a wealth of exercise Is given. This is because alumni are more prone to obese and therefore live in a sedentary way as well.  
  
A great number of excuses, on the other hand, exist in favor of youngster's being given many tasks. one of the keenest merits of this teaching method is that academics are accordingly able to control the inquisitive power of student individually. This, therefore, leads to a more positive academic performance and a promising career path as well. Another implication that supports this phenomenon is that it increases the ability of teenagers to cope with multiple challenges in not only classroom but also in place where they work in the future, This is because theoretical knowledge doubtless plays an important role in determining pedagogical outcome of alumni.  
  
To sum up, teachers should give out a right and reasonable amount of homework so that students can consolidate their knowledge and have fun with their friends at the same time
The prompt restatement + personal opinion paragraph sounds like an English dictionary exploded all over it. The student clearly appears to have no control over his sentence formations and does not have any idea how to use English words in the context of grammar and definition. As such, the prompt restatement cannot recieve a passing score. This first paragraph cannot be given a passing score due to the incoherence of writing that will confuse the examiner.  
  
The assertion that education  
Do not deviate from the prompt topic. Immediately discuss assignments. There is no sense in defending education when that is not the focal point of the essay. Only the discussion in relation to assignments is important.  
  
While the writer wrote more than ample words to qualify the essay as above the word count. The essay will still fail because of his inability to write logical and coherent sentences / paragraphs. There is no way this type of writing can achieve a passing score because the required elements will not receive passing scores.
## Recently, companies usually demonstrate that their goods are newer than before.

  
***This phenomenon has both advantages and disadvantages. In this essay, I will discuss the both sides.***  
  
In terms of the company, it must have a spotlight on their product that would appeal consumers and it usually with the new functions or improvements. Take brand 'Apple' as a example, there a lot of competitors in the smartphone fields, it must be unique to compete with the others. Moreover, this commercial strategy is also a way of demonstrating their attitude of life-up that would give the consumers a positive impression. According to this, it is a positive impact to both company and clients that former one keep improving their products while another one could be served with the better products.  
  
However, it also has some bad effect in some cases. Due to the naturality, human beings are born to have a sense of curios. Thus, people would rather try new things than old ones. It is clear that the new merchandises always catching eyes of people. For instance, my mother often buy product, especially foods, which seller called it a whole new goods that you ever seen or tasted. And it resulted in my mother being waste more money to buy something which does not needed actually.  
  
To sum up, I consider that commercials clarifying the products which is different from the previous one or other products, has a range of influences in both positive or negative ways. It can be depended on the each side of companies and consumers.
In this essay, I will discuss the both sides.  
You already told the reader that you will be discussing both sides when you said that there are advantages and disadvantages to the scenario. What the examiner will expect to read are the topics or the individual topics you will be discussing as an advantage and disadvantage. That is because of the task accuracy requirement that uses the topic sentences to show the examiner how well you understood the discussion instructions.  
  
The presentation needs more work in terms of clarity and vocabulary usage. The writer tends to use incorrect word references, without first checking if the meaning of the word is correctly spelled or, used in the correct reference manner in terms of meaning. The student needs to build on his vocabulary skills with more English reading and a specific focus on English word meaning.  
  
I consider  
Seeing as how there was no need for a personal opinion in the advantage and disadvantage discussion, the writer has made a serious error that could fail his essay due to the personal opinion reference in the concluding statement. Without a proper summary conclusion, the essay will be considered open ended, one of the major reasons that an IELTS test often recieves a failing score.
Prompt-  
  
***We are a community with quirks, both in language and in traditions.***  
## Describe one of your quirks and why it is part of who you are.

  
  
Around 250 words, max of 300.  
  
Essay-  
  
I'm an avid collector. From collecting bottle caps, stickers, F.C. Bayern calendars, birthday cards, books, Magic The Gathering cards, and even cool-looking rocks, I have always had an affinity for collecting. Let me take you through some of my collections.  
  
Each bottle cap I collect has a story. They all have one thing in common; they were all present during special moments in my life. They serve as time traveling machines that bring me back to a particular time and place every time I look at them. Among my favorites include my Tío Leonardo's Toña bottle cap from when I met my Nicaraguan extended family for the first time this past summer and my father's Stella Artois bottle cap from when Germany won the 2014 World Cup.  
  
Thanks to my mother, books have always played a large role in my life, which is why I collect them. My collection spans from rarer books such as a first edition copy of A Journal from our Legation in Belgium by Hugh Gibson to the entirety of my favorite author-Roald Dahl's works.  
  
Unlike my other collections, my collection of F.C. Bayern calendars is something I did not intend; it just happened. Every Christmas my Aunt Monika gifts me an F.C. Bayern calendar. My collection begins with a 2010 calendar and I hope to keep expanding my collection and even continue the tradition with a family of my own.  
  
Building my collections provides an escape to my increasingly hectic life. My collections act as a continuity of self, each object providing a snapshot into my life.
I believe that you do not understand what a quirk is. What it means and how it applies to this essay. Let me explain it to you. A quirk, by definition is a peculiarity of action, behavior, or personality; mannerism. This is something that some people may find strange about you, but seems perfectly normal to you.  
  
Having an assortment of collections cannot be considered a quirk because there is nothing strange about your activity. It is not questionable, a source of wonder, or an action that may lead to a strange movement on your part. Therefore, your response to the essay does not apply.  
  
Having a collection in your case is normal. None of your collection would be seen as out of the ordinary. Some of these are even souveniers. No, you have not responded corrctly to the prompt at all. No aspect of this response may be used in the next version of this writing.
***Nowadays many people have access to computers on a wide basis and a large number of children play computer games.***  
## What are the negative impacts of playing computer games and what can be done to minimize the bad effects?

  
  
Computer games have become more popular in over the world and children can easily gain access to them. This essay discusses the downside effects of playing digital games on computer of youngsters and gives measures to mitigate its bad impacts.  
  
One of the major issues associated with this is that teenager's physical health will probably run a higher risk of contracting illnesses. This can be exemplified by how worse metabolism the youth get if they sit in front of computers for a long time. Another alarming problem is that children's characteristics could be worsen by playing computers games too much. They can get angry more easily and lose their patience to everything. As a result, those who play digital games on computers without control become more impulsive and careless about society.  
  
There are two main measures to tackle this problem. One solution to this problem is for schools to organize more extracurricular activities and thus students could be closer to the nature and society. Another feasible solution would be for parents to incentivize theirs kids to do more outdoor activities. It leads to the result that their children will be kept far from digital devices.  
  
To conclude, excessive playing computer games brings a myriad of detrimental impacts on children. Encouraging kids and organizing more outdoor activities are two measures to solve this problem.
This essay discusses  
The prompt restatement is not grammatically perfect, but, the interpretation of the writer did not fall far from the original. Good job. However, the writer neglected to provide the 2 thesis sentences which were to provide the basis for his opinion score for the first scoring aspect of the essay. By simply repeating the discussion points, rather than providing clear responses to the question, the writer fails to create a reference to his actual thoughts on the questions provided. The examiner loses the ability to score the English comprehension skills of the test-taker based on his response opinion statement.  
  
will probably  
Since this is your opinion, it is important that you use convincing words in your presentation. When you obviously doubt the basis of your defense, the examiner will have no choice but to score down your paragraph based on the lack of a clear opinion yet again. The paragraph will be seen as under developed in terms of explanation as you are not strongly defending your opinion with believable reasons.  
  
There are two main measures  
While 2 possible solutions are presented, there is a lack of convicing explanation for both. Neither are completely developed as there are no references as to how effective these solutions are or can be. These suggestions only have a reasoning sentence in support of it, but no example of effectiveness. So both solutions are also under developed.  
  
myriad of detrimental impacts  
As this is a recap summary of the discussion, you have to be specific about the negative impact it creates. The summary conclusion must restate the topic, the writer responses, and offer a solid closing sentence in order to gain a high score.