dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
Christine Corbett Moran is a coder and theoretical astrophysicist which want to enroll herself to space-agency officials such NASA. At the moment, she stayed in South poles for 10 months and studying about echoes of the Big Bang. Because of she knows that NASA want to interview for a candidate. To anticipate the time for interview, she was scheduled to leave the coldest continent in south hemisphere and booked flights to get to Houston. Not only a coder and theoretical astrophysicist, but also she worked in propulsion at SpaceX, assistant of creation of the iOS version of the encrypted communication app signal. NASA try to make a journey to Mars. Fortunately, for Moran, condition in Antartica and Mars have the same conditions with constant darkness and limited mobility. Of course it is pretty easy to see how her experience could fitly with NASA's future vision of an astronaut. Furthermore, Moran also proven to herself hardy in that environment. In NASA training, not only she reads, but also she study to play instruments and speak languages. She makes herself as a busy person , busy enough to go to Mars.
Hi @Dioba,  
  
Here some corrections on your article summary:  
  
... theoretical astrophysicist ~~which want~~ , who wants to enroll herself ...  
Because ~~of~~ she knows that NASA ~~want~~wants to interview for a candidate.  
... in propulsion at SpaceX, being assistant of creation ...  
NASA ~~try~~tries to make a ...  
Fortunately, for Moran, the condition in Antartica ...  
..., but also she ~~study~~studies how to play instruments ...  
... as a busy ~~person , busy~~ enough person to go to Mars.  
  
I hope those corrections are useful for your following summary or essay :)
Beagle 2, British aero plane, was assumed failed to reach the surface of Mars because no reply signal was received back. Moreover, the team has a tendency to assume that the parachute and airbags which is to slow down the acceleration of Beagle had been broken, in other word Beagle 2 crashed. After more than a decade, surprisingly it was found on the Martian surface. Furthermore, to find clear explanation about what happened with Beagle 2, some experts conduct research used 3D software and tool to match both simulated and truly images of Beagle 2. The purpose is to find real explanation as would be possible without landing on the planet itself. As we know, Mars is one of delicate planet because of the atmosphere. In other hand, Nick Higget, a researcher from De Montfort University, conclude that the Beagle 2 did not destroyed, but landed and probably deployed most of its panels.  
  
source : newscientist.com/article/2112484-beagle-mars-probe-probably-didnt-crash-new-analysis-shows/
Dear Dioba, here some advice for your writing and feel free to correct me too!  
  
Moreover, the team ~~has~~**had** a tendency to assume ...  
  
....airbags which ~~is~~**was** to slow down the acceleration ...  
  
....ome experts conduct**ed** research used 3D software and tool to match ...  
  
The purpose ~~is~~**was** to find **the** real explanation as would be ...  
  
Regards
Dioba, your writing is inconsistent and fractured. The information your essay is not complete and your sentence formation is quite choppy. You should concentrate on improving your note taking skills before you focus on your sentence structure problems. It would be best for you to learn to recognize the important information being conveyed in the original article, which you can then take jot down as part of the important notes to be included in the summary. By doing this, you should be able to develop smoother sentences which will not lack on coherence and should also help you properly accomplish the summarizing task. When you write these summaries, you should always cite the original publication, its date, and the author if any is provided. That way your summary gains an air of authenticity and also helps you avoid any charges of plagiarism in a professional context. Don't forget that the information about the writer and publication are also important information related to the text you are summarizing.
Hi dio, these are my thought towards your summary  
  
1. it would be better if you write an opening sentence for your summary.  
  
2. Moreover, the team ~~has~~had a tendency to assume  
  
3. ...that the parachute and airbags **which is to slow down the acceleration of Beagle** had been broken  
[**which had a function to slow down...** or **which slowing down the acceleration...**]  
  
4. about what happened ~~with~~to Beagle 2  
  
suggestion :  
you should watch your sentence structure  
some information are not clear enough  
  
keep writing and good luck
Beagle 2, A British aero plane, was assumed fail~~ed~~ / WOULD BE FAILED to reach t.....  
... has a tendency to ~~assume~~ CONCEIVE that the (...) which ~~is~~ ARE FUNCTIONED to slow down the ...  
  
..., some experts HAVE conduct ED research used 3D software...  
  
The purpose is to find THE real explanation as IT would be possiblewithout landing on the planet itself.**[CAN NOT GET WHAT DID YOU MEAN???]**  
  
... of delicate planetS because of the **UNIQUE atmosphere/ SLIGHTLY SIMILAR ATMOSPHERE WITH EARTH, ETC .**In other hand, Nick Higget, a (...), concludeS/HAS CONCLUDED that the Beagle 2 did ...
Hi dioba,  
  
Beagle 2, British aero(no space) plane~~,~~ was assumed failed to ...  
... tendency to assume that **the parachute and airbags** which ~~is~~(are, there are 2 subjects) to slow down (...), in other word(s)(it must followed by plural noun) Beagle 2 crashed.  
  
Furthermore, to find the clear explanation ...  
The purpose is to find the real explanation as ...  
..., Mars is one of the delicate planet because (...) did not destroy~~ed~~ , but landed and probably ...
In his presentation, Dr O'connell, physicist from University of California, gave an example to audience that a large object that is visible to the naked eye can be in two places at the same time. In physics, only particles that follow the theory of quantum mechanics can be in two places at the same time. Dr O'connell also told that if everything is made up of a little particles and all the little particles follow quantum mechanics then everything should follow quantum mechanics, it is mean that every day objects should follow quantum mechanics. To explore his idea further, he made the tiny computer chip with a chunk of metal inside that has been in a mechanical quantum superposition. He then placed the object in a vacuumed cool environment while he turned off all the light. The fantastic result appears, the atoms that make up that chunk of metal are sitting still and at the same time, the same atoms are moving up and down and delocalized. That is mean that every atoms is in two different places at the same time which in turn means the entire chunk of metal is in two different places. Further, he talked that quantum mechanics is not about the interconnection, it is deeper, and our connections to all the things around us literally define who we are. It is namely the weirdness of quantum mechanics.
Marcin Jokubowski, He was born in Poland, and until now he live in America. He graduated from University when 20 years old, in major Fusion Energy. After graduated and got Ph.D degree, he tried to farm in Missiouri, but he realized there are many problem, he has tractor to help him process his farm. Moreover, he always studies regarding agriculture to make his farm better. But, he realized that he useless because for process his farm need high cost because he must buy tractor and many tools to help him on farm. When his tractor broke he must pay someone to repaired it. Despite, he already repair his traktor, but after that is broke again. He must repair his tractor again. consider that if he always repair, why he don't build tractor for himself. In short time, he decided to build tractor, and he sucess to build tractor with low cost. He built his tractor in six days.
hai alfin  
It is a good summary  
I have some suggestions for you  
hope it helps  
  
... until now he lives in America.  
  
After graduated and got Ph.D degree, he tried to farm in Missiouri...  
After graduated, he got a Ph.D. (...) to farm in Missouri , but he realized there were many problems so that needs a ...  
  
... to make his farm to be a better production .  
  
But, he realized that ~~he~~ useless because for processing his farm need a high cost ~~because~~since he must (...) to help him ~~on farm.~~  
  
... must pay someone to ~~repaired~~fix it.  
  
Despite, he already repairs his ~~traktor~~tractor , but after that ~~is~~it brokes again.  
  
thanks  
keep writing
Dear Alfin, here is some suggestions for you  
  
Marcin Jokubowski, He was born in Poland,...  
  
**He, Marcin Jokubowski,**  
  
He **was** graduated from University when **he was** 20 years old,...  
**since 'when' is a conjunction then it need S V after it**  
  
After *graduated and got* Ph.D degree, (...) in Missiouri, ~~but~~then he realized ~~there are many problem~~that there were many problems ...  
  
**After *graduation and having* Ph.D degree, he tried to farm in Missiouri *then* he realized *that there were many problems.***  
  
**'but' is utilized when presenting two contrary clauses**  
  
Best Regards.
Hi, Alfin  
here some advice for your writing  
  
1. I find several misspeling such as traktor => tractor.  
2. Please pay attention to subject verb agreement.  
3. You should consider about grammar since you wrote inconstant verb in your essay  
  
Unfortunately, I can not help you further correction, since I did not get what you mean there.  
  
~~Marcin Jokubowski.~~  
*Marcin Jokubowski, born in Poland, has lived in America.*  
  
~~He graduated from University when...~~  
  
*When 20 years old, he graduated from college in Fusion Energy.*  
  
~~... he tried to farm in Missiouri, but he realized there are many problem...~~  
*After graduated and got Ph.D ~~degree~~ , he tried to farm in Missiouri. Unfortunately, he got plenty of problems that had to deal with.*  
  
KEEP WRITING :)
An engineer's vision for tiny forests, everywhere  
  
Deforestation has been a crucial problem of the world, it effects on decreasing forests and oxygen-reserved. Shubhendu Sharma, an Indian industrial engineering, is a passion for finding out a solution for tackling such problem. After resigning from Toyota company, he joined the voluntory project which focuses on the environmental issue and met with prof. Okazaki who introduced him to new plantation technique. After following his course for a couple of months, he tried to create the garden in the backyard of his house. It impacts on several positive impacts are increasing the quality of fresh air, the population of bird increased twofold, and grow season fruits. He is willing to invite all people around the world to do the same activity which aims to against climate change. Therefore, he provides website consists of information regarding the steps of doing plantation by a specific methodology which has been standardized by his team. Until now, the idea has been implemented by thousands of people in different countries and it is projected to add forest land in the world.
Hi @Abrahamlincoln,  
  
Here some corrections for your summary:  
  
... problem of the world~~, it~~and effects on  
... industrial engineering, is having a passion ~~for finding~~to find out a solution for ...  
..., he joined the ~~voluntory~~voluntary project which (...) met with ~~prof.~~Prof. Okazaki who ...  
... positive impacts ~~are~~ , increasing the quality ...  
Therefore, he provides website that consists of information ...  
  
I hope those corrections are useful for your following summary or essay :)
hi abraham lincoln i'd like to make some reviews here..  
  
... problem of the world~~, it~~(which) effects on decreasing ...  
..., he joined the ~~voluntory~~(voluntary) project which focuses on ...  
Okazaki who introduced him ~~to~~(a) new plantation technique.  
... he tried to create ~~the~~(a) garden in ...  
It ~~impacts~~(impacted) on several positive impacts (which)~~are~~(were) increasing the quality of ...  
He ~~is~~(was) willing to invite (...) activity which ~~aims~~(aimed) to against climate change. Therefore, he ~~provides~~(provided) website consists of (...) methodology which ~~has~~(had) been standardized ...  
  
... different countries and ~~it is~~(has been) projected to add ...  
notes :  
if we want to write someone's activities which he did, we have to use past tense, while if we tell about the facts, we use present tense.  
  
thank you bro  
^\_^
Based on the Armies of the Night, a book was created by Norman Mailer in 1968, he said that aged 44 is the age which someone was a rigid embodiment of bone, muscle, heart, mind, sentiment to be a man. Still on the same book, Thomas Mann also said that in that age, a man steps out of the darkness and wasteland of preparation into active life. Because of that reason, Joshua Prager, as a TED speaker, feels his birthday in April will become a tremendously good year. In this chance, he tries to tell us about wisdom from great writers on each year of human life. He argue that every writers want to share their precious experience based on their life. For illustrate, Thomas Mann in his book entitled Joseph and his Brothers, he said that it will happen to him as to them. It means that every people will face same moment along of their life. Book also tells us who we are and who will be to. Similar with James Salter book's entitled Burning the Days, he said life passes into pages if it passes into anything. In the other word, every people will pass every step in their life. The last, William Trevor book's entitled The Love Department said you are thirty-seven. It's an age of discretion. All of them is quotes from greater writers, to teach every people about life.
Hi Dioba,  
  
- ... by Norman Mailer in 1968. (stop here, new sentence)He said that ~~aged~~ 44 years old is the age which someone ~~was~~is a rigid embodiment of bone... (mentioning facts should be in present form)  
  
- ..., Joshua Prager, ~~as~~ a TED speaker, feels his (...) a tremendously ~~good~~amazing year. (C1 + B2 level of word is quite imbalance I think)  
- ~~In this chance,~~He~~tries to~~tells us about wisdom from... (He isn't trying to tell but he tells something I guess)  
- He argues that every ~~writers~~writer wants to share their...  
- ~~For~~To illustrate, (...) and his Brothers, ~~he~~ said that it will happen to him. ~~as to them~~  
- ... we are and who we will be ~~to~~ .  
- Similar ~~with~~to James Salter...  
- In ~~the other word~~other words ,...  
- ~~The last~~Lastly/Finally/Eventually, William Trevor (...) Love Department said that if you are thirty-seven, it is an age of discretion.  
- All of them ~~is~~are~~quotes~~quotations from greater writers, to teach ~~every~~ people about life.  
  
Some alterations have been given briefly, I hope you can consider this as a helpful message. Keep practicing :)
**To improve the quality of education, universities should spend more money paying salaries to professors.**  
  
There is a debate about whether universities should pay more to increase professors' salaries in order to improve the education quality. Some believe that the increase in salaries can stimulate professors to focus more on their teaching. However, as far as I am concerned, it is not necessarily the case.  
  
There is no denying that salary increase can promote professors' motivation for teaching better, at least in a short term. It is almost human nature that one will become more enthusiasm in work when receiving more money for reward. Then the passion will turn into action, improving the education performance. However, the passion, gained from the material stimulation, would pass sooner or later. In other words, the motivation will vanish/disappear before long. Furthermore, as it is impossible for universities to keep on spending money raising salaries, the quality of education would not keep improving.  
  
In fact, there are other approaches for universities to make education quality better besides the method mentioned above. One way among them is upgrading campus facilities. As we all know, it is critical for a university to equip with many kinds of facilities, such as those in laboratory, library and gym. The college with excellent experimental equipment, say, a Quantum Computer, is more likely to receive precise results in computer science field than those without one. It is access to these high-tech facilities that enables college students to have more opportunities to learn and do research, leading to their success in the future. As the advanced apparatus require a large amount of money to achieve, it is indispensable for colleges to allocate their funds to that aspect.  
  
Another way for colleges to enhance the quality of education is to provide financial aid for professors to learn more and improve their teaching methods. Rather than giving money to them directly, universities can use that money to train teachers. For example, schools can invite famous experts, such as Nobel Prize winners, to host a academic seminar and ask professors to attend. Also, to acquire outstanding abilities in educating, teachers with great potentials should be sponsored by the college to exchange to other universities or even study aboard. In these ways, their knowledge and teaching skills will undoubtedly be developed, and along with the process is the improvement of the teaching quality. Without such training, the professors would miss an ideal chance to grow.  
  
In a nutshell, increasing professors' salaries is not the best solution for education to improve. Such other ways as upgrading facilities or training professors are also effective and essential, requiring universities to spend more funds.
Hi Dong Wang,  
Welcome to EssayForum.. :)  
  
I would like to focus directly on grammatical range and accuracy issues. I hope this would be helpful.  
  
1st paragraph:  
- It is argued that~~There is a debate about whether~~ universities should ...  
- ~~Some~~Others believe that ~~the increase in salaries~~raising the salary can ~~stimulate~~encourage professors to (...) teaching methods .  
- However, **as far as I am concerned, it is not necessarily the case.**(unclear position. I am sure that you need to present a relevant or clear position here. Relevant or Clear position would help you achieving a high score)  
  
2nd paragraph:  
- It is undeniable that~~There is no denying that~~~~salary increase~~raising salary can ~~promote~~enhance professors' motivation ~~for teaching better~~to teach better than they used to be , **at least in a short term.**(saying this one can weaken your argument)  
  
- ~~It is almost human nature that~~(try to vary your sentence structure)Naturally, one will become...  
- Then, (comma) the passion will turn into action, improving the education performance.  
- In other words, the motivation will **vanish/disappear**(choose one of them. I rarely see people write by using this symbol) before long.  
  
I can see that you were proposing a solution towards this issue. I think that before expressing your ideas, it is better to express your disagreement first in the introductory paragraph.
@donge  
  
It is true that the phrase that you have mentioned convey the same meaning, but if you switch them, I think that it would look stylistically better than the previous one. You need to remember that varying the sentence structure is one of the things that might help you achieving a high score in writing.  
  
Another suggestion for you is that it is related to the title itself. When you want to write an essay with special purpose such as IELTS or TOEFL, you are suggested to mention it in the title. For example, you can just write "IELTS Task 2: Should universities..." , "TOEFL integrated essay: Should universities.." or any other types of essay that you might feel accurate.  
  
Also, almost all essay has a prompt that tells you what to write. Mentioning the prompt would be beneficial for us in checking whether your essay has already answered the prompt or not. This would be beneficial for your future practices later on. Thus, gaining some improvements would also be easier compared with the correction that only focuses on grammatical range and accuracy.
Travelling with air transportation in today's world is popular not only for traveler but also for worker or student. Some people claim air travel is the only way to vanish air pollution. I firmly disagree about this statement on account of in the fact that air transportation is not the only way to move and reduce air pollution in same time.  
  
Air transportation is the massive passenger transportation in modern world. With this kind of transportation we can press the global warming and the factor of it namely air pollution. In many part of this world, air transportation is rarely yet it is efficient enough to transport array of inhabitants without cars which is the most pollutant engine in this world.  
  
Nevertheless, air transportation is not the one and only way to shield our earth form air pollution. There are lavish of actions we can take to tackle this problem. Firstly, we can replace our fossil fuel with biofuel from oil of vegetation or biomass which ae more ecofriendly. Secondly, we can kick off the reforestation movement in every corner. With this movement, we can increase amount of vegetation which can decrease numbers of air pollution. For example, plant has ability to chain fumes and carbon dioxides in our ozone and atmosphere. Moreover, plant can transform the air with contamination of pollutant to pure air. Finally, we can use public transportation to move. Furthermore, commuters who moving with public infrastructure like public transportation can help to reduce of using fossil fuel and also air pollution.  
  
All in all, I firmly disagree about statement of travel with air transportation is one and only way to avoid air pollution. In my opinion, there are lavish of kinds of movement we can make happening. Not only travelling with massive transportation like flight transportation but also namely using biofuel or biomass, reforestation, and public transportation.
hi alfa7, these are my corrections for the 2 paragraph of your essay  
  
1. world is**popular** not only ~~for~~~~traveler~~traveller but also for worker or student.  
[traveler (US) traveller (UK)]  
[ the right collocation for 'popular' is 'among' ( if followed by people ) ]  
2. Some people claim that air travel is the only way to vanish air pollution.  
[ if you have 2 verbs you need one conjunction ]  
3. I firmly disagree about this statement **on account of in the fact that** air transportation is not...  
[ i don't quite understand what you want to write ]  
4. With this kind of transportation we can press the global warming and the factor of it namely air pollution  
[ it will be better if you replace 'press' with another words. and replace 'namely' by 'called']  
please be more careful with your grammar and collocation.  
it will be better if you learn about adverbial clause and adjective clause.  
keep writing and good luck alfa7
Dear lalu  
let me give you some inputs  
  
i think you have good enough skill to write in english. However, there are several improvement should be taken to sharpen your english. Firstly, you have to pay attention to use singular and plural words, deal with subject+verb agreemnt and also minor grammatical errors. secondly, you have to choose proper conjuction to connect your sentence with the privous ones. thirdly, please read some article to array your vocabularies. i strongly recommend you to have cambridge dictionary which help you to choose advance vocabulary  
  
good luck