dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
The writer did a good job of offering a prompt restatement and question response. The reasoning is also based on well-known public knowledge. Both paragraphs present solid supporting reasons in relation to the writer's opinion. It stayed focus on a single opinion defense which shows that the Writer understood the discussion and format requirements of the question in the presentation. These are the well scoring parts and considerations of the essay. Now for the problematic part.  
  
The writer has vocabulary issues as he uses words in a manner that betrays its meaning:  
  
fan- noun, any device for producing a current of air by the movement of a broad surface or a number of such surfaces.  
fun- noun, enjoyment or playfulness  
  
newborns - babies, recently or only just born. They do not have the capacity to playin any way or form yet.  
  
The writer needs to understand the homonym differences and also, work on his vocabulary meaning /skills. The term "etc. " is not advised for use in formal and academic writing as it a shortcut reference for "and so on and so forth". Simply end the sentence with a period instead.
## should ethnical identity of a country be preserved?

  
  
**Question:** Some people believe that citizens should keep their cultural identity of their country, whereas others say that it is better for people to integrate themselves into new cultures. Discuss both views and give your opinion.  
  
**Answer:**  
It is believed that citizens should preserve their ethnical identity of their country. Nonetheless, others people think that integrating themselves into new cultures would be a better choice. From my point of view, fitting into new cultures will bring much advantages.  
  
On the one hand, the national identity of a country is the one and only, so that people need to know how to maintain and develop their cultural specificity of their country. A country without its identity will be assimilated by others countries. In addition to this, a cultural uniqueness is a big "pull" factor for travelers to visit a country. For this reason, citizens should conserve their culture to foster the tourism. Once the tourism is developed, the economics of that country will be raised either.  
  
On the other hand, integrating into new cultures will enrich and affirm one's own distinctiveness. This action will bring a wide range of benefits to the cultural identity, as people learn others countries' specificity and bring back to their country. For instance, the custom of celebrating Lunar New Year is derived from China, this comes to Vietnam and becomes the most significant and important festival of Vietnam. The subsequent explanation is when being exposed to not the same cultures, people will embrace and appreciate others that are different from them. The cultural misconception and racism will be effaced, then the world will be a better place.  
  
In conclusion, I prefer to integrate into new cultures rather than keep my cultural identity of my country. The reason is fitting into new cultures will bring you a perspective look of the world, which is crucial in the 21th century.
The writer provided general discussion points in each paragraph. The assumption will now be that the writer did not provide a comparative analysis of the public opinion based on public perception. There are no proper pronouns used to indicate the difference between the writers opinion and the public oultook. This was further reinforced by the lack of personal opinion paragraph presentation in the essay. Had the writer provided an actual personal opinion paragraph in the presentation, the repetition of it in the concluding summary would have been acceptable. Without that paragraph, the essay is deemed incomplete in discussion considerations and without proper group for presentation. The writer must strive to present opinion clarity through the use of proper reference words to achieve response format compliance.
## TECHNOLOGY AFFECTED THE TYPES OF RELATIONSHIPS THAT PEOPLE MAKE

  
  
Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology.  
In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships that people make? Has this been a positive or negative development?**</b>  
  
Due to a number of technological advancements in recent years, the way of human communication has been significantly modified. Technology has also exerted both negative and positive impacts on many kinds of relationships, and in my opinion the positives outweigh the downsides in this case.  
  
Technology has dramatically affected relationships in all aspects of our lives - namely business, education, and social life. Firstly, electronic commerce, a new form of business, has gained popularity thanks to faster internet connectivity and powerful online tools. The most common type of E-commerce is retail selling, in which customers can shop for everything at will and in any quantity. Secondly, it goes without further discussion that online learning has done wonders for educational development. Students can now take online courses even many of which are hosted by foreign teachers. Finally, many youngsters use social networks or online applications to form virtual relationships sharing interests, and experiences.  
  
It seems unequivocal that those developments have been extremely beneficial to our contemporary world. To begin with, forming a relationship nowadays requires less time and effort than before. Were emails or phone calls not to appear, people would waste a lot of time travelling to have face-to-face conversations. Aside from saving time, this trend has turned the Earth into a small village, which means information is exchanged across geographical and social divides. In fact, there are a huge number of social platforms allowing people to interact with their friends or even strangers from different countries. This will consequently establish a close rapport between nations.  
  
Considering the above-mentioned, technology has certainly revolutionised communication between people in a constructive way. I believe there comes a time when there are more innovations in technology to help people interact much more effectively.  
  
<b>*Please give me some feedback. Thanks a lot  
Best regards,***
The way relationships have been changed could have been more properly addressed by the writer had he avoided 2 irrelevant discussion points:  
- electronic commerce  
- online learning in relation to foreign teachers.  
  
Both do not classify as social relationships as the former is all about business and the latter, is related to educator - student relationships. Only the last, and sadly, undeveloped reason qualified as a related topic response.  
  
As this is not a weighted benefit /drawbacks essay, the writer used an incorrect response to the question provided. The response basis should not weigh positives and downsides. Rather, it must provide a direct response as " This is a positive development" as a method of question related response.
Please give me some feebacks. Thanks so much.  
  
Topic: Some people believe that people have the right to university education, and government should make it free no matter what their financial background. To what extent do you agree or disagree?  
  
It is argued that people are entitled to follow tertiary education, and central authorities should fully pay all tuition fees irrespective of students' social economic status. While there is no denying the benefits, I disagree with this idea because it takes a heavy toll on individuals and society.  
  
On the one hand, the option of waiving tuition fees has some benefits. On the individual levels, poor students can stand a chance to attend higher education. Many underprivileged students, for example, are very hardworking and intelligent, but they can ill afford tuition fees. On a social level, when young generations can be facilitated to have access to university's knowledge, the national leaders may create an educated and civilized workforce contributing to the development of a nation.  
  
Nevertheless, I lean toward the idea that governments shouldn't cover tuition fees. Firstly, students who pursue college without fees can take it for granted and don't have the sense of responsibility for studying. As a result, they are inclined to neglect classes and may drop out of school. Secondly, enacting free college policy can put a strain on the administration. As a huge amount of money is allocated for a host of universities, it can trigger the budgets deficits in state coffers. National officials then need to cut some kinds of costs related to other essential sectors such as health care, transportation which also play a pivotal role in society. If not enough money is invested on fundamental social issues, people's living standards can't be improved.  
  
In conclusion, while the statement of abolishing university education costs is valid to some extent, my own view is that it has more adverse effects on many sides of society.
The prompt paraphrase was near perfect but, the question response was incorrect. The student altered the discussion concept and expected response. That will educe the score for this section.  
  
Question: To what extent do you agree or disagree?  
Response: While there is no denying the benefits, I disagree with this idea because it takes a heavy toll on individuals and society.  
  
The response is not based on a consideration of the degree of agreement or disagreement. The student chose to use a comparative response and comparative reasoning presentation. The actual response and supporting paragraphs should have been based on a single opinion justification. Nowhere in this presentation was that presentation requirement met. This type of presentation is in the running for a failing score.
## the percentage of women and men in one Asian country who passed when they took their driving test

  
  
The bar chart compares the percentage of male and femlale in an Asian country who got the driver license from 1980 to 2010.  
The overal trend was upward, also it can be seen that the percentage of women who passed the driving test was significantly higher than that of men.  
  
Both the rate of women and men who passed the driving test rose over the period shown, but the figures for women are 20% higher. In 2000, the rate for women driver experimenced the greatest growth. It reached its peak at 68-69% while the percentage for men was at about 49%. After rising radpidly, the percentage of women who passed their driving test slightly fall from 69% to 64%.  
  
A sharp increase in the percentage of men passing driving test was recoreded in the period from 1980 to 2000. But from 2000 onwards, the percentage for men remained steady, at 49%.  
  
*
The trending statement would have been more / completely informative if it had "included the measurement trend as well:  
  
" Overall, the decade on decade trend was upward... "  
  
Since there were measurement gaps in terms of years, it is necessary to inform the reader of the trending measurement basis.  
  
The writer has shown a lack of sentence formation and vocabulary control throughout the presentation. The spelling errors cannot be ignored because the LR and GRA scores will be severely reduced by the mistakes. Surely the student is practicing and word document program that provides a spellchecker. The student should use it for scanning the essay for spelling and presentation errors. That will act as an additional English lesson for the learner.
## CAR OWNERSHIP IN BRITAIN

  
  
The line graph illustrates the number of cars that were owned by households in Britain between 1971 to 2007.  
  
Overall, it is clear that car ownership increased during the period shown, while the number of households without a car fell dramatically.  
  
In 1971, 49% of Britain households did not have a regular use of a car, and the percentage of households with a car was about 45%. It was uncommon for families having more three cars and two cars, by around 2% and 8% of households respectively.  
  
The proportion of households that used two cars rose significantly to around 26% in 2007, while the statistic for families without a car experienced  
a dramatic decline to 25% in 2003 before reaching the dip at 23% in 2006 ,and then growing again to 25% in 2007. In contrast, The percentage of households with a car remained stable from 1971 to 2007, and the proportion of households with more three cars increased slightly from 2% in 1971 to 8% in 2007.  
  
*
The writer has a tendency to use ven on sentences for his presentations. Though this makes it easier to complete sentence presentations, it affects the clarity of information as presented in the paragraphs. A clear sentence is one that focus on individual data delivery per sentence. Compressing the information confuses the sentence focus and paragraph discussion targets.  
  
It is important that the writer makes better use of transition words to achieve this. There are no transition words or phrases used in the presentation which means the GRA score is compromised. While the presentation works to a certain degree, the writer can still do more the improve his score.
## u.s. energy consumption by fuel

  
  
The line graph illustrates the data was released in a 2008 report about 6 different kinds of energy consumption in America since 1980 and the future forecast for 2030.  
  
It can be seen that there were increase trends in most categories during the period of research. In addition, Petrol and Oil were used most during this period.  
  
In 1980, the amount of Petrol and Oil consumed was 35 quadrillion units, nearly doubling that of Natural Gas, at 20 quadrillion units. The figure for Coal was slightly less at that time, just over 15 quadrillion units. In comparison, the consumption of natural energy was equal, standing at under 5 quadrillion units each. Each of energy was seen fluctuations during in the following years.  
  
The charts also give the projection of the consumption by these Fuel for the year 2030 and according to that, the data for Petrol and Oil will reach a peak at nearly 50 quadrillion units and become the highest number of the chart. At that time, Coal will have an increase significantly to above 30 quadrillion units in the use and higher than that in Natural Gas which will reach 25 quadrillion units. The figures for natural energy will still remain at low levels of consumption, nearly 10 quadrillion units for Nuclear, above 5 quadrillion units for Solar/Wind and even just under 5 quadrillion units for Hydropower.  
  
*
Writing the summary report is not a marathon. A summary is defined as," a comprehensive and usually brief abstract, recapitulation, or compendium of previously stated facts or statements." That is why it has to be brief and concise. It should not rival a task 2 essay in length. stay within 200 words. The summary overview would have been a good place to start in reference to concise but accurate summarization. This portion of the essay is where the writer should have used 3-5 short sentences to highlight important parts of the image presentation. The run-on presentation prevents the writer from insecting clarification pauses in the paragraph that would have allowed the reader to better comprehend the short version of the report.  
  
The last paragraph kicks off with a confusing reference due to incorrect word usage:  
  
The charts also give the projection of the consumption ~~by these~~ Fuel ~~for~~ the year 2030  
...consumption of fuel by the...  
  
Do not try to use too many words in a task 1 presentation. Keep it simple and do not write more than 200 words to allow for editing and revising within 20 minutes. In truth, the writer wrote a good report in the 3rd paragraph. It was just the right length and word count.
***Fewer and fewer young people are choosing to become teachers.***  
## Why do young people not want to be teachers? How could this be changed?

  
***Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words***  
  
There is a large drop in the number of graduates applying in the field of pedagogy year on year. It is worth analyzing the reasons for this worrying trend and discussing innovative strategies to reverse this matter.  
  
The reduction in the popularity of teaching is related to economic, and social factors, as well as health issues. Firstly, it is clear that salaries for those working in education are significantly lower than other sectors such as the finance and banking sector, or even the industrial field. Unversity-leavers are invariably reluctant to become teaching staff with accepting lew incomes while well-qualified graduates can receive well-paid incomes and higher career prospects. In addition, university lecturers and tutors are of the opinion that they no longer benefit from the respect they used to have. Their jobs had had the same social status in society as doctors, scientists, lawyers. Finally, a considerable number of academics have undergone pressure from the workload and been tired of poorly behaved students in the classes.  
  
A range of new approaches might be used to arrest this decline. The authorities ought to permit tax-free to those working in the educational field, and give more incentive incomes to those teaching with dedication and commitment. Funding more money for schools will be hugely beneficial to head-teachers and principals, who can employ more diligent and gifted graduates. A large number of awareness-raising campaigns and events should be organized to honor talented individuals and those contributing extreme efforts in training and teaching.  
  
In conclusion, the reasons and the ways to reverse the reduction stated earlier above. This dilemma will continue to fall unless the government takes action immediately. However, I fervently believe that civil servants will not prioritize this issue.  
  
Please check for me. Thanh you so much.
The opening paraphrase is accurate in providing a topic interpretation. However, the writer provides a non- response to the 2 direct questions. This lack of direct response will not allow the examiner to fully assess the English comprehension skills of the writer in relation to his understanding of the questions. By not providing any responses, the writer cannot fully prove his English thinking abilities. He must completely develop his response statement next time. Do not just repeat the discussion instructions.  
  
The reasoning paragraph presents enough reasons for the lack of interest, but the supporting statement itself is weak. The reasons are not fully developed. Each reason barely has an acceptable explanation. The transition words used are not proper either. A transition sentence or phrase for 2 related topics would have been better. The C + C score will be problematic. Less reasons, more development is required.  
  
The authorities ought to permit tax-free to those working in the educational field  
Tax-free what? What is the subject? The writer obviously did not draft the essay before writing.  
  
gifted graduates  
The writer is assuming there are numerous graduates. The premise is that graduation rates are low hence the lack of occupation popularity.
## WRITING TASK 2 (LEISURE TIME)

  
  
Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind, such as reading and doing word puzzles.  
Other people feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time.  
·You should write at least 250 words.  
·You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.  
  
When it comes to the mental well-being of a person, it is essential to take some time off work or study. We all have different ways in which we relax our minds whether it be playing basketball or just laying on the couch, watching tv. In my opinion, how we spend our leisure time greatly depends on one's perspective.  
  
After a long day of exhaustion, it is vital to do some activity that is beneficial for the body. For instance, reading a book improves one's reading skills while diverting one's attention from work and stress. On the other hand, people who work all day glued to their seats might want to do some physical activity to relax their mind and body. These activities could be anything from swimming to taking their dog on a walk.  
  
It may be argued that watching tv is far more relaxing than reading a book, however, It's all about one's lifestyle. People who read habitually don't find it burdensome to read a book, it's far more entertaining than television for them. Aforementioned, this is the reason how people spend their leisure time depends on their lifestyle and preferences. There are no defined rules when it comes to leisure activities.  
  
In conclusion, it is best to work on our mental and physical health in our free time. It is imperative for the body to do some physical exercise to function properly. Especially, for students or people who work in offices; it is best to go out and get some fresh air. It is scientifically proven that a change in the surrounding helps people release stress.  
  
This is the first essay I wrote for IELTS academic writing. I would be grateful if you could give feedback.
The instruction asks you to provide an agreement with one of the 2 opinions after discussing the public supportfor each opinion. The essay does not properly identify the public . explanations in the discussion. There are all leased on a personal . which means it will fail the test. To properly discuss this topic the writer must use 3 explanatory paragraphs covering 3rd pronoun and 1st person discussions of:  
  
Paragraph 2: Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind  
  
Paragraph 3: Other people feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time  
  
Paragraph 4: The side the writer agrees with / personal opinion  
  
For a total of 5 paragraphs. The personal opinion should use a comparative discussion form to show an analysis of both public opinions and how it influenced the writer's choice. The formula:  
  
*Public opinion 1 ÷ Public Opinion 2 = Personal opinion*  
  
should be used in the analytical discussion.
## Uk Teachers statistics

  
  
The bar chart compares the ratio of men and women teachers in six distinct levels of educational institutions in the UK in 2010.  
Overall , the percentage of female teachers tends to be outnumbered the figure of male teachers in lower levels. However , at higher levels , the percentage of male teachers in the United Kingdom was higher than the figure of female teachers.  
  
From the chart, we can see that the ratio of female teachers in nursery school and primary school was dominated the percentage of male teachers around 90%. In addition , in secondary school , the percentage of female teachers was higher than the ratio of male teachers . with about 53%.  
  
Moreover , the percentage of teachers in the UK in 2010 , both male and female was equal in the college. However , in private training institute and university , the ratio of male teachers was outnumbered , with higher about 50% àn around 70% , respectively in the United Kingdom in 2010,
The writer has a problem with proper word placement and usage in the reporting paragraphs and summary overview. While these presentation problems could be ordinarily overlooked, the GRA considerations will not allow the examiner to do so. The student should increase his sentence writing exercises to improve his sentence presentation skills.  
  
Writing skills in terms of varied punctuation usage is highly limited. While the comma is the easiest other punctuation mark to use, the other being the period, the writer should review other possible ways of presenting the information. There are many business reports online that could help the writer familiarize . himself with various reporting methods.