dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
## full-time education should be compulsory for the youth

  
  
It is sometimes argued that full-time education should be compulsory for the youth until they reach eighteen. From my point of view, I am completely in agreement with this view.  
  
One could easily suppose that education in high schools is non-essential since the knowledge obtained from school are not practical and applicable for learners when they go to work. Therefore, it would be a waste of time for students to devote their time on high school. However, I regard this as a short-sighted view. It is indisputable fact that there are a number of knowledge in terms of moral lessons about the society, civil obligations and rights and general law that are taught in high school when students are above 16 and thus have developed fully enough to absorb more complicated aspects like those. This is necessary since regardless of what kind of occupations students pursue in the future, they should be entirely oblivious of the rules and regulations of the country, their obligations and rights to the society in order to become a decent citizen with high discipline.  
  
Moreover, high schools offers students the opportunity to explore their desire of the future career, which is not ussually experienced in secondary school. In fact, non-high school education concentates on academic knowledge mostly and little attention for career orientation. Meanwhile, high schools involve in a variety of career workshops and activities in an attempt to help students understand more about certain occupations and find out their desire for their career path. As a result, if students do not know what they could do once graduating, it is likely that they pursue the wrong path, leading demotivation at work and thus causing inefficient labour force for the society.  
  
In conclusion, I hold a strong conviction that education in high school should be mandatory.
Is it not necessary to use an emotional and measured response in this discussion. The discussion does not call for it specifically. It only asks for a simple response statement. While the writer will still be scored for his response, the emotional presentation where not required will not add to the scoring potential of the statement. What would have added to the score, was the reasoning sentence that would have given a simple explanation of the writer's opinion. This reason would increase the score due to the clear reasoning requirement for his opinion. It is a scoring consideration.  
  
The writer has written convincing reasoning paragraphs. He has created discussion points that prove his opinion to be true. These will result in the C+C section being highly scored. However, there are spelling and grammar errors that will result in deduction points in these specific areas. The writer should have focused less on the length of the essay and more on the perfection of the presentation.  
  
Less errors are made when paragraphs are shortened. Errors can be corrected if the writing time is not solely devoted to writing as well. He should leave at least 5 minutes for proof reading and correcting his work. The idea is to limit the number of deductions in the presentation to preserve the overall score.
## The media pay too much attention to the lives and relationships of celebrities

  
  
It is simple to find news anywhere, anytime due to popular media, but the amount of news relative to celebrities such as actors, singers or footballers. Many people suggest that the media should focus on the public. In my opinion, I support this idea.  
  
The life of ordinary people will be improved when the media becomes more interested in them. For example, the traffic situation of Ha Noi capital has been improved after getting a special channel for traffic, so that everyone can know and avoid areas where traffic congestion. Furthermore, the government knows more obviously issues of residents through daily breaking news as well as having timely solutions to support ordinary people. Therefore, it is clear that the country will develop more when the life of ordinary people has been more concerned.  
  
On the other hand, news has become more attractive with readers than focusing on only famous people. Because everyone realizes that information from breaking news is more reality, value when topics of news relate to the close life of them. According to psychologists of Harvard University, they had a survey with a group of students from other countries, having over 70 percent like to read news relative to ordinary people than stars because they feel that they learn more new,strange things about culture, custom, etc. So that there are a lot of interesting things from the lives of ordinary people that the media should report more.  
  
In conclusion, nowadays, the media have become close with everyone, but more useful and attractive when closier the lives of ordinary people.
The first sentence of the opening paragraph is a fragment, showing a clear problem with sentence structure and development. There will be immediate deductions for this error in presentation. The next half of the paragraph, in relation to proper task response is also deductible from the score as it does not follow the required measured response presentation. Both errors can quite possibly cause an overall failing score for the exam taker as these serious grade subtractions occur at the start of the preliminary scoring process.  
  
The writer has failed to prove the validity of his opinion due to his lack of proper supporting discussion topics. The second reasoning paragraph is irrelevant to his previously stated position. That paragraph will not be scored. What he should have done was create a second supporting paragraph instead.  
  
Unfortunately, the presentation has too many response format errors to receive a passing score.
"news relative to celebrities"  
you should use "relating" instead of "relatives"  
"Ha Noi capital"  
Ha Noi is the capital of Vietnam, you should write "Ha Noi,which is the capital of Vietnam,...  
.Do not translate every single word into English mechanically.  
"where traffic congestion" another wrong use of relative clauses.  
There are many grammatical mistakes in your essays. I think you should seek for more information about the way to use relative clauses, present participle, past participle.  
  
Hope my comment can help!
***Some people think a country benefits from a large proportion of young university students, others think sending young people to universities only leads to graduate unemployment.***  
  
## Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

  
  
Education plays an integral in a person's upbringing, which assists people to broaden their horizons about this world. In some countries, encouraging students to attend universities will contribute to the nation's prosperity. However, some still argue that this factor will lead to an increase in unemployment. From my perspective, this essay will discuss these two perspectives, and I approve of the former one more than the latter one because of some reasons.  
  
On the one hand, it is believed that the high rate of graduates will contribute to the nation's growth. To begin with, this factor is the key which helping pupils develop themselves in universities that provide a large amount of knowledge and information for their professional fields and which are beneficial for society. Pupils will be provided knowledge related to their fields and gain more experiences not only in the process of joining the university but also in extracurricular activities. For example, obtaining proficiency in their professionalism is a contributor to some majors that required high qualifications and experience such as IT, artificial intelligence, and automatic machine, which leads to the economic growth of the nation. As a result, they will benefit in various fields and there is no doubt that studying at the universities is a great stepping-stone in the student's growth.  
  
On the other hand, this tendency also leads to a rise in the unemployment rate because of some specific reasons. Choosing to study at a university without orientation intensely might have an adverse effect on pupils further future. Some students of today tend to step into the universities because of their parents' needs and the exaggeration of the society about the universities degree, which causes pressure and depression for postgraduates. As a result, they might feel there is no interest in these stereotyped lectures and tend to give up.  
  
In conclusion, although this tendency brings various advantages to the growth of the nation, it still causes disadvantages for the pupils without intense orientation and the prejudging of the society may cause depression for students. I still consider that this trend brings more benefits to the country.
Do not provide your personal opinion in the opening statement. Always integrate that into your personal opinion as the reason for your belief. The first 2 sentences of the first paragraph should only restate the original prompt in 1-2 sentences, 3 at the most. Opening with your personal statement creates a prompt deviation as this does not present an original presentation position. There is no evidence in the original prompt to support this statement. It will cause a deduction for the paragraph. The lack of clear opinion in the last paragraph, due to the missing supporting topics, will also result in an unclear opinion presentation and receive deductions as well. These will definitely lower the starting score that could prevent the writer from achieving a passing score later on.  
  
The writer fails to compare the public opinion with his personal point of view. The total essay is written only from the writer's perspective instead of a public and personal point of view. Therefore, the writer has used an incorrect response format in his response. The use of third person pronouns, along with a first person pronoun needs to be seen in these paragraphs to highlight the discussion opinion of the public as compared to the author's opinion.  
  
A concluding summary must present the salient discussion points in recap. It should not be a continuing discussion of the topic. The latter is the error that the writer made in this presentation and will be one of the causes for the failing score of the essay.  
  
The writer closes the essay by saying:  
  
I still consider that this trend brings more benefits to the country.  
A clear prompt deviation that, due to this not being required in the original discussion instruction, indicates that the writer does not understand the actual line of discussion for the topic provided. This will be one of the major reasons for the failing score, regardless of word count. When an essay does not follow the discussion path as required, it cannot receive a passing score.
## the issue of international exchange for teenagers

  
  
It is often said that a large number of people all around the world are drawing attention to the roll of international exchange for teenagers. In fact, there are some who hold firmly to their belief that this activity will help a lot for the students to finding out a new culture and learn more knowledge, however, others argue convincingly that this bring some drawbacks for them. As far as I am concerned, I wholeheartedly agree that international exchange bring more advantages than harm and some primary points will be addressed in the following paragraphs.  
  
On the one hand, there are two main points for the people to defend the view that international exchange bring some disadvantages for their country and students suck as the brain drain or being under control by the adults. First of all, it is a well-documented fact that human capital flight will happen when these students feel they can develop in another country and dedicate their knowledge for that country. The most obvious example to prove is that in Vietnam, the competition name "The road to the top of Olympia" help genius students who win the game in Vietnam can study in Australia and almost of them are choose to live and work at there. Furthermore, there is no doubt that the students can easily falling into the social's vices which will destroy their future if they are not under control by their parents. For instance, base on the report provided by VnExpress.com.vn in the year 2019, the percentage of student exchange using drugs or abortion increased dramatically from above 20% to almost 40%.  
  
On the other hands, there are two evidences for others people to support the formal argument. First and foremost, it is commonly accepted that students exchange can using modern tools to support them in many majors which they cannot do in their country. A clear example being found to prove is that the students who want to learn surgery but do not have enough modern equipment to study better. Equally important, there is no denying that students who joined exchange learning activity can learn the culture about working or studying style which will help them in their study or work, from that, the country will more develop. This is supported by the fact that the working style from Japan has help Japanese develop their country into a great power.  
  
All things considered, it is my strong belief that international exchange for teenagers bring more advantages than disadvantages. Accordingly, I highly recommended that the governments should enhance people's awareness in terms of the solutions to help exchange students can easily live and study in the country they are exchange. If this recommendation is carried out, the comprehensive development of society will be ensured.
The writer has not taken his time allotment and editing considerations into account while writing this essay. The essay requires no more than 300 words as it is only a short opinion essay and not an academic research paper. He has also presented a confusing response placement that has affected the clarity of the required writing format. Either it is an extent essay or itis an A V. D comparative essay. A true task 2 essay will never combine 2 writing styles in one presentation. The writer will lose points in the TA and GRA section because of this illogical discussion presentation.  
  
The length of the essay has proven to be the main failing point of this presentation. While he did write a very wordy essay, it comes with grammar and sentence structure failures. Both of which will result in LR penalties and additional GRA deductions. These are the reasons that will contribute to a failing final score. There are other presentation deductions such as the lack of a concluding summary and offering solution where none are required which will further contribute to the scoring problems, but it is suffice to say the current observations will lead toa failing score.
***Individuals can do nothing to change society. Any new developments can only be brought about by governments and large institutions.***  
## To what extent do you agree or disagree?

  
  
There are some people asserting that social development is solely the responsibility of governments and large organizations, not of any individual. Personally, I contend that this massive undertaking requires all forces in society, from authorities to normal people.  
  
To start with, the interference of governments and influencing organizations is apparently of great importance when it comes to serious dilemmas, which need the cooperation of qualified people. For instance, when the Covid-19 spread out, the lives of millions of people, especially in developing and disadvantaged countries were threatened, even effortlessly died because of lacking healthcare conditions, medicines and vaccines. It was exactly the time for national leaders and international organizations to collaborate to save the world, to voice for the safety of people worldwide. Thanks to these organizations, we have the COVAX facility, supplying vaccines for poor countries and saving thousands of lives. Therefore, in certain circumstances, the role of leading authorities plays a key-driving force to address dilemmas most efficiently and comprehensively, where merely hands from individuals are not enough to create such significant changes.  
  
However, it would be completely wrong to undermine the power of each individual. Back to the example mentioned above, what if people are not aware of keeping safe for themselves amid the pandemic, not obeying the vaccination policies launched? All the efforts of governments would come in vain, obviously. Thus, a small gesture towards a positive and peaceful life of each individual can render the whole society better. Saying good things to each other every day, being generous, turning off energy when not using and many more small things a person can do contribute to social development in many aspects of life. A more peaceful life is exactly a positive change in society. Furthermore, human ability is unlimited, thereby creating more significant changes. Quang Linh is the most compelling example for this. Just a normal Vietnamese man, without any aid from any governments, he has helped hundreds of people in Angola to get jobs to earn for living, and brought electricity to the residents there, which the Angola government has yet managed to do.  
  
In conclusion, I believe that not only governments or institutions but also everyone from all walks of life plays a key role in bettering our society.
The writer has not responded to the question in the expected format. Although he did an excellent job in the prompt restatement section, his inability to provide an opinion that represents the measured response format was the problem with his personal opinion presentation. This error in presentation will result in a deduction in relation to the prompt format requirement. So the score for the essay will be median in consideration. Good prompt restatement, bad opinion presentation. He presented a strong thesis statement at the end, but neglected to represent the degree of his opinion prior to the reasoning foundation statement.  
  
The reasoning presentation is sound and clearly shows that the writer gave a great deal of thought to his discussion presentation. However, his paragraphs are over discussed. These long discussion points forced grammar errors in the presentation that often affected the sentence structure and clarity of the idea being presented. He has to learn to shorten his sentences / paragraphs. He must also avoid using rhetorical questions in his presentation as it tends to change the discussion focus. Opinion statements must be factual and analytical, never rhetorical.  
  
When using examples, try to not change the reference midstream. The whole discussion is based on Covid 19 response. However, the example shifted the attention to electricification. This sudden change will confuse the reader and affect the C+C score of the presentation negatively.
***Some people say patriotism causes problems and is negative overall. Others feel that it is beneficial for society at large.***  
## Do the advantages of patriotism outweigh its disadvantages?

  
  
Patriotism is regarded as a must-have characteristic for mankind in any era. However, some people hold the view that it can cause abysmal effects overall, while others believe that it is more of an advantageous trait which overwhelms its downside. From my point of view, I radically agree with the latter statement, which will be elaborated further in my essay.  
  
To begin with, patriotism has some negative effects. It might be abused badly by terrorists by altering residents' attitude on the government. For example, in the past, some communities were poorly educated, residents could be misled by the wrong definition of "patriotism". Terrorists can distort the truth to raise the war against government or make excuses for their illegal activities by patriotism.  
  
However, the upsides of patriotism manifestly outshine its disadvantages. Thanks to the wide uptake of cutting-edge technology, most people are kept posted as well as educated well. Therefore, hardly can patriotism be misinterpreted by people, which nearly obligates its detrimental downside. To illustrate, the daily news can help people to keep track of news about terrorism or bad religions so that they can avoid them. Moreover, patriotism can help the government with managing the country since it strengthens the relationship between government and residents. In addition, should there be any wars in the future, patriotism is the meat and potatoes for victory beside weapons.  
  
In conclusion, although each coin has two sides, it is my conviction that patriotism brings a sweeping range of profit rather than causes detrimental impacts.
It is important that no additional information that represents the writer's opinion integrates itself into the prompt restatement. The prompt restatement should only be 2 sentences long, representing the original 2 opinions. The wording regarding the importance of patriotism as a must have character should be part of the writer's opinion, representing the thesis statement of his point of view. For a stronger scoring opinion statement, the writer should present it as follows:  
  
.*..I radically agree with the latter statement BECAUSE patriotism is regarded as a must-have characteristic for mankind in any era.*  
  
The writer's opinion becomes clearer and with a stronger foundation due to the reasoning paragraph that is attached to the presentation. The reason for the opinion creates a simple understanding of what the succeeding paragraphs will be discussing. This summarized opinion statement increases the TA score each time.  
  
I need to point out though that the use of the exaggerated response "radically" agree is not necessary in this case. Not being an extent essay, there is no need for the writer to get too emotional or quantify his opinion. A simple statement will suffice were an extent is not indicated for the response.  
  
In order to avoid a wrong response format, the writer needs to get used to writing in a debate style. That means, he does not present a positive paragraph then a negative paragraph. Rather, he disproves the opposing opinion so that his opinion appears to be the correct one. Look for faults in the opinion that is not supported and present those to the reader. That is how the essay can convince the reader that his opinion is correct. It will also be following the appropriate single opinion format presentation. As of now, the writer is not presenting his opinion in the correct manner.
## trends in US meat and poultry consumption

  
  
The line graph illustrates the amount of meat and poultry that US residents consumed.  
Overall, the amount of beef consumption was the highest, while the figure for turkey was the lowest. And the amount of broilers used experienced the fastest increase over the period shown.  
  
In 1995, the consumption of beef was the highest, at about 67 pounds and this figure for pork was lower, at 50 pounds. In 1961, the amount of the ingestion of broilers and turkey were at a low level, at just 15 pounds and 5 pounds respectively.  
  
From 1995 to 1976, the amount of beef consumption rose and reached its peak at around 90 pounds, before falling to 50 pounds in 2012. In contrast, the amount of pork ingestion fluctuated and reached the lowest rate in 1976, at 40 pounds. This figure stayed at this rate in the rest of the period. Between 1976 and 2012, broilers consumption increased significantly and peaked at 60 pounds. At the same time, the figure for turkey just remained at the same level.  
  
*