dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
## recycling of the toxic materials

  
  
The charts illustrate the ways used to dispose of the harmful garbage in Korea, Sweden and United King dom. The data indicates the main method used in each country.  
  
In Korea, the majority of dangerous waste products are recycled. By contrast, most of the harmful wastes are buried underground in Sweden and UK. The United Kingdom is the country that has most ways utilized to dispose of hazardous materials.  
  
In Korea, around 69% of dangerous harmful products are recycled, compared to about 25% in Sweden and 0% in the UK. In the United Kingdom, recycling is not popular and not employed. However, the UK people prefer burying dangerous waste materials instead. The percentage of underground made up 82% in the UK, while it stands at 22% in Korea and 55% in Sweden.  
  
Besides that, chemical treatment and dumping at sea which are not mentioned on the pie chart of Korea and Sweden are used in the United Kingdom. They are not really popular and stand at a similar percentage, 8%. 20% of hazardous waste products went on incineration in Sweden. By contrast, it reaches 9% and 2% in Korea and UK.  
  
* 
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To, you don't need to upload the prompt. You can provide that in the text box. What we really need you to upload is the image. I really cannot understand what it is that you are doing wrong. The uploading instruction for the image is so simple that anybody can do it. It is necessary for you to ask for help from the moderators about your problem. I need the clear image, not the prompt. How can I make you remember ,**"POST THE PROMPT, UPLOAD THE IMAGE".** It isn't difficult to do.  
  
Your summary overview is still incomplete. You only have 2 sentences in a paragraph that requires at least 3 sentences in order to present a valid overview. The summary should have been a complete paraphrasing of the instructions in the prompt. You did not provide that so you will lose points for that.  
  
Your second paragraph is so incomplete that you only have 2 paragraphs in it. Again, please try to remember the simple and hard rule of academic essay writing, **"3 sentences minimum, 5 sentences maximum per paragraph. You lose points for having only 2 sentences.That is an under developed and not very informative sentence."**  
  
You did well in the development of the last 2 paragraphs. However, the information should have been spread out within the 3 body paragraphs instead of being concentrated in only 2 developed paragraphs.  
  
The score for this essay? I think you can somehow manage to score a 5 because you at least provided a mechanical representation of the information and showed an understanding of the prompt. The language is not advanced and is pretty basic but gets your message across without causing undue stress on the reader. So overall, this is an acceptable, though flawed piece of writing. There is some improvement to your work but you are far from showing remarkable improvement at this point. Maybe your next essay will show that already. You are getting better at it in a slow but sure manner.
The introductory paragraph is well done, but I think you need to put some ideas in order to make your opening paragraph is more interesting. Let me give you an example:  
  
*Some comparisons of how to get rid of harmful waste are presented in the charts. The data is taken from different countries and is measured in percentage.*  
  
Also, some changes have been made in the following paragraph. Here is the one:  
  
*General speaking, people in Sweden are more likely to bury such materials, while those living in Korea recycle more their waste. Although waste products in the UK interred in underground show the highest proportion, hardly are these materials reused into other products.*  
  
Hope this helps :D
**The graph and table below give information about water use worldwide and water consumption in two different countries. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.**  
  
## water utilization numbers

  
  
The line graph shows information about water utilization in three sectors around the world from 1990 to 2000 and measured by kilometer cubic. Overall, it can be seen that water use was increase in all three fields, with agriculture aims had the most significant rise. The water use for agriculture sector stood at about 500 km3 in 1990, then it rose dramatically by around 2500 km3 in 2000. In addition, the water consumption for industrial and domestic aims moved up to 1000 km3 and 200 km3 respectively in the end of period.  
  
The table provides comparison of water use in Brazil and Congo in term of their population size, area of irrigation, and water consumption per person in 2000. Generally, Brazil was at the higher amount among all categories than Congo. Brazil, which had 176 million people, allocated 26.500 km2 of it's area for irrigation land. Moreover, each Brazilian use 359 m3. Congo, which had fewer population than Brazil, managed 100 km2 for irrigated land. Congolese used only 8 m3 of water per person.  
  
*
Nuradia, the summary overview of the essay is not presented at all. The opening statement should have first indicated the kinds of illustration provided, what each illustration would be discussing, and how the two charts are related. Without that summary information, even though you wrote more than 150 words, your task accuracy score would be extremely affected.  
  
While the separated discussion of the charts worked well for the essay in terms of the paragraph presentation, the fact that you were not able to merge a paragraph topic presentation for the charts in a fourth and final paragraph leaves the essay less than completely presented and discussed. It proves that aside from the clearly available information in the charts, there was no attempt on your part to analyze the illustrations farther than what you could visibly see. You did not try to study the chart for extra information to be presented in the summary essay. The presentation of analyzed information, based upon the present information would have raised the score consideration for your essay.  
  
Based upon the problems that I enumerated, I am very sad to say that the essay cannot gain more than a score of 4 overall.
**In the past, most people lived in small villages where everyone knew everyone else. Nowadays, most people live in large cities where they only know a few people in their area.**  
  
*What do you think were the advantages and disadvantages of living in a small community?  
  
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.*  
  
## life on suburbs or in a city

  
  
Today, large number of humans reside in urban place while conversely, most people in the past lived in suburb area where they knew each other closely. I would argue that dwelling in small village had several merits and demerits.  
  
Needless to say, emotional connection between people living in small community were more closely each other. It was because they lived in small area which require them to interact each other in more intense way. Taking my experience as an example, when I visited a remote village in South Sulawesi for a research purpose. At the time, there was a funeral ceremony and interestingly, the whole occupants in the area joined together to supply all needs for the family who are in grief without expecting any rewards for their help. The community undoubtedly reflect the strong emotional relation in small community environment. In addition, inhabitants in village tend to have a good quality of health because they accustomed to breath of fresh air without exposing by air pollution. As such, they will be more active and will be automatically got a low level of stress.  
  
However, there are drawbacks of living in small community faced by the inhabitants. Firstly, they had a limited social networks due to the situations where they lived only involved small number of people. As their interaction pattern only circle in one minor and limited scope of society. Then, the dwellers got less education and job opportunities. For instance, most of young people in small village in Kabaena Island only get their education up to the level of highschool. As a result, they were only hired for a blue-collar jobs since they don't have a higher education background. Not only this, recent research reveals that people living in village tend to experience poverty in their life.  
  
The aforementioned evidences show the two sides of drawbacks and benefits for people who reside in small village. However, I believe that those drawbacks can be reduced by equalizing the development in large city and small village.
Hi Ainun. I would like to commend you on the very good job that you did in writing this essay. You showed a great deal of English comprehension skills when it came to addressing the task requirements of the prompt. While your English language presentation was not perfect, it was not stressful to the reader either. It was just enough to get your message across coherently and cohesively. Your word choices were not advanced, but they were not too simple either. The simplicity of your sentences showed an intermediate grasp of how to compose an English sentence.  
  
The main problem with your essay is that your introduction and concluding paragraphs are too short. These paragraphs need to be at least 3 sentences long in order to get a minimally higher score. Writing 5 coherent sentences would result in an increased task accuracy score on your end. Specially since in this essay, you were able to use a number of personal experiences to illustrate your point. The evidences were strong because these were based on personal experience, which displayed an even clearer understanding of the prompt on your part. One point of correction though, you are never to introduce a new idea in the concluding paragraph. That is not allowed because the conclusion is just supposed to end the discussion by summarizing the earlier statements. The academic rules do not allow for the introduction of a new idea in the conclusion because that would require further discussion and evidence in a writing test that only allows for a maximum of 5 paragraphs in the discussion.  
  
Overall, this type of essay would probably garner you a score of 6 or slightly higher, but not lower, in the actual test. You have the potential to get a higher score. Just keep practicing. Don't let up. It will pay off in the future.
Hai @Holt.  
  
Thank you very much for correcting my writing, that is a very kind of you correcting the whole parts of my essay. I hope I can get higher score in real test.  
  
I still confuse on how to compose a good thesis statement on this type of question, though. Do you have any suggestion for me? Should I mention some of the advantage and disadvantage that I am going to write on my essay?  
  
Thankyou.
An effective thesis statement is one that paraphrases the prompt while delivering a personal understanding on your part of the required discussion points of the essay. These are normally presented within 3-5 sentences but do not include any factual information that you will be discussing in the body of the essay. An example of this properly developed prompt would be as follows:  
  
*Up till recently, it was pretty common for people to live in small villages where everyone is familiar with one another. These days though, people have taken to living in large cities where they rarely know their neighbors. Based upon the new living ideology, certain advantages and disadvantages have resulted from living in a small community. In this essay, I will be presenting information that will help to determine the advantages and disadvantages of living in a small community based upon my personal knowledge and experience.*  
  
If this were an opinion essay, the fifth sentence would have contained a presentation of my opinion.
**The graph below shows the quantities of goods transported in the UK between 1974 and 2002 by four different modes of transport.**  
  
## TRANSPORT AND DELIVERY WITHIN UK

  
  
The line graph compare the quantities of goods moved using four kinds of means in the UK between 1974 and 2002, measured in million tones. Overall, it can clearly be seen that pipeline was the only mode that never experienced a decrease.  
  
Road was used for the delivery of the highest quantity of commodity in UK, starting at 70 in 1974 and ending at just under 100 in 2002. it experienced decreases twice, from 72 to 70 between 1978 and 1982 and from 82 to 79 between 1991 and 1994. Meanwhile, the least amount was sent using pipeline. at first, it stood at only 5 then it kept increasing to 21 in 1995, followed by a stable trend afterward.  
  
in the first 4 years, water and rail were almost at the same level, around 40, but in the next 7 years whereas rail decreased to 30, water rose to just under 60. Between 1986 and 1998, the rail fluctuated between 30 and 40 while the water declined slightly to around 50. the following years saw the surge, with water witnessing more significant rise than the other.  
  
@holt please examine this writing. million of thanks for you  
  
*
You incompletely summarized the chart requirements. A complete outline of the four modes of transportation is required in the essay to complete the discussion outline. That is why you feel under the minimum sentence requirement for that paragraph. The overview summary helps to create the first line of high points for your essay. So you must never overlook it's importance when you develop it. Make sure all discussion points are represented in the summary for a maximum grade possibility. Your conclusion has an incomplete representation as well. You need to relay the comparison numbers for water in order to prove your observation that the water mode of transportation showed a yearly fluctuation in the chart. This is a better attempt at solid writing on your part. The problem is that I don't think you can score higher that a 3.4 for this particular task. The basis of the score is the incomplete information provided along with a very mechanical presentation of the information.
@Abrahamlincoln  
If I were you,,,,  
  
**First paragraph**  
Paraphrasing  
The line graph illustrates the amount of products both imported and exported in the UK from 1974 to 2002 by four different mediums of transport.  
[Entire view]  
Overall, the number of all transportation increased during the given periods.  
[Unit]  
The given unit is million tonnes.  
  
**Second paragragh**  
We can see from the information, the number of goods which were transported by road, water, and pipeline were rose constantly through the period.  
-add 2~3 sentences with specific figure.  
  
**Last paragragh**  
In comparison, when it comes to rail, the figure for rail declined from 40 million tonnes in the first year to about 25 in 1995, and increased again to over 40 in the last year.  
  
-add 1~2 sentences with opinion.
dear @Abrahamlincoln,  
  
A few corrections from me..  
  
Watch the grammar. In paragraph 1, The line graphs compare the quantities  
  
Then, for the overall statement, i suppose that there is a more appropriate way to write it. If I were you, I will write:  
Overall, it can be seen that road, water, and pipeline experienced an increase, while rail had a fluctuative scheme.  
  
Wih you luck :)
**Topic : The only way to reduce the amount of traffic in cities today is by reducing the need for people to travel from home for work, education or shopping.  
  
To what extent do you agree or disagree?**  
  
## Trouble with commuting

  
  
Nowadays, people who live in cities always facing same trouble when they get outside: a heavy traffic. Some people believe that by decreasing the need for people to go for work, school, shopping, and other activities from their home is the only way to address the issue. However, there are another ways to solve the amount of traffic in more appropriate way.  
  
Mostly people today move from one place to another by using their own car. They go for work, education, or shopping everyday as they willingness to fulfill their responsibility and necessary as well. The world is move fast, so do the people. Then, the way to limit their needs are seem impossible to be done.  
  
I believe there are several ways to decrease the amount of traffic in cities in an effective way. Firstly, government should ensure that public transportations are accessible for everyone. People in cities now might choose their own car to travel because they find that public transportations are less comfortable and spend more time. Therefore, the increasing quality of public transportation should be a concern for leader of cities. Secondly, the government ought to restructure the road system. There might be many small and unaccessible roadway hence contribute to the traffic. Besides, the government could also establish the law aims to rise the tax of cars. The rule is expected to decrease the willingness of people to buy a new car.  
  
To sum up, there are some ways to address the traffic issue in cities. Decreasing the need of people to travel is seem less effective. The government should put more effort in regulate the law that needed to solve the problem.
@nuradiapuspa  
Hello.  
You prepare the IELTS exam.  
  
I am also not good at English. I just got 6.5 in writing 3 months ago.  
But I hope that my advice is helpful for you.  
  
people who live in cities always are facing same trouble when they get outside such as a heavy traffic.  
  
However, in my opinion, there are another ways ...  
  
~~Mostly~~ Most people today tend to move from ...  
  
..., or shopping everyday as they "verb" willingness to fulfill ...  
-> I couldn't understand this sentence. And you should include verb to complete sentence.  
  
I reviewed 1 & 2 paragraph.  
In my opinion, you should make full sentence. S + V ...  
  
And, when consisting of paragraph at the IELTS test,  
I recommend you below style.  
  
para1. Introduction(3~4 sentences)  
- you should paraphrase the topic.  
- background related with topic.  
- your opinion about topic  
- and, use this sentence to complete 1st paragraph. "This essay will discuss both views in details."  
  
para2. opinion which is opposite of yours(4~5 sentences)  
- I partially agree with that "opinion which is opposite of yours".  
- additional explanation  
  
para3. your opinion(5~6 sentences)  
- Nevertheless, I insist that "your opinion"  
- additional explanation  
  
para4. conclusion(2~3 sentences)  
- Consequently, although "para2 summary", I believe that "para3 summary"  
  
Good luck to you!
Nuradia, your final score for this essay will be a 3. That is because you ended up discussing a totally different essay from the prompt provided. The prompt clearly states that you are to discuss either an agreement or disagreement with the given proposition. The discussion that you should have presented should have been a statement either of support or opposition to the topic provided. After that statement, you should have continued the discussion using supporting statements to justify your agreement or disagreement. Instead, for some reason related to a misunderstanding of the prompt, you ended up discussing ways to solve the traffic problem. If you compare the prompt discussion with what you wrote, you will notice that you are not being asked to discuss ways to solve the traffic problem, only whether you agree or disagree that the only way to reduce traffic is by reducing the need for people to travel for work, education or shopping. Nowhere in the essay were you asked to make suggestions about how to solve the traffic problem. The way that you responded to the essay will show the reviewer that you do not understand simple English instructions, which is the first and most important point of scoring in this essay. English comprehension skills are of the utmost importance in passing this test.
To go to instead of to go for.  
Consider replacing the adjective another with other  
The amount of traffic- Traffic congestion because that's the underlying problem you should provide solutions for.  
Appropriate way- Effective way  
Mostly does not seem to fit in the context use Most instead  
You should present your point of view in the first paragraph and solutions on why disagree with the proposed solution in the question.  
\*People need to go on working to fulfill an adequate standard of living needs.  
  
The first sentence of your 3rd paragraph is considered a repetition of your last sentence in your first paragraph which from on you get to discuss why you disagree
*Merged:* ## IELTS TASK 1 TELEPHONE CALLS

  
  
HI EVERY ONE !Can you help me with my work ?  
google =number+of+telephone+ielts+task+1: it is no way I can coppy the image please fowwloww thes  
  
The bar chart indicates the figure of time spent in billions of minutes by UK people on phone calls, namely local -fixed line, national and international- fixed line and mobiles between 1995 and 2002. The comparison of three categories will be shown in next paragraphs.  
  
The proportion of minutes which people in the UK spent on telephone calls had considerably varied movement. While the number for mobiles and national and international -fixed line increased steadily over a period of 7 years, local calls leaped from 1995 to 1999 and dropped from 1999 to 2002. The lowest figure on the chart was for mobiles and the highest number was for local- fixed line.  
  
In 1995, around 70 billion minutes were used for local calls, compared to about 35 billion minutes of national and international calls and 5 billion minutes of mobiles. In 1999, people preferred using fixed line for local calls. The data illustrated that amount of time which was spent on local calls by UK people reached the highest point at almost 90 billion minutes. The possible reason for this change is that maybe local telephone's fee became chip. Mobiles and national/international land line still went up enormously.  
  
In 2002, minutes of national/international and mobile calls stood around at 60 and 55 billion minutes. Potentially due to UK people started to spread their market, associate and invest in another countries. By contrast, the minutes of local calls plunged at the figure they began in 1995, ate around 70 billion.  
  
*