dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
***Foreign visitors should pay more than local visitors for cultural and historical attractions.***  
## To what extent do you agree or disagree.

  
  
Charging overseas travelers higher than domestic tourists is advisable in some countries as it can be one way to raise the funding for preservation of ancient cultural architectures. I partly agree with this argument.  
  
It is obvious that the more tourists visit the attractions, the more pressure the environment has to face. Littering is one of the main issues, which results from many overseas tourists' lack of awareness to put garbage in the right place. If monument management board do not have enough staff and expense to treat waste in time, it may cause air pollution and bad landscape. Therefore, raising fee for foreign travelers is one way to contribute to financial source to handle this problem. In addition, in some countries, the environmental and cultural value can not be neglected in the pursuit of economic value. For example, Bhutan will not be as famous as they are now with their environmental - friendly lifestyle and thousand -year - old architectures if they emphasize the tourism development.  
  
However, to some extent, domestic and foreign tourists should be treated fairly. Inequaliry can cause peole travelling from other countries not to choose visiting these nations; thus, their GDP will decrease as in fact, overseas travelers contribute a larger amount through their spending on higher quality hotels and restaurants as well as their interests for souvenirs. Besides, unfair treatment experience can create negative impression on the host country, spoiling the nation's image in the eye of international friends. It directly leads to the reduction in the number of tourists; and concequently, the significan fall in the revenue of tourism industry.  
  
To sum up, higher fee for travelers from other countries may benefit countries that want to focus on the preservation of their historical sites. However, they should build attractive travel policy to balance between protecting the environment and generating profit from tourism industry.
The first paragraph will recieve a failing preliminary GRA score due to improper sentence structure. The writer delivered a run - on sentence rather than a properly developed 3-5 individual idea/topic sentence paragraph. The presentation clearly shows an inability to control a written sentence format.  
  
Inequaliry  
Inequality. The writer failed to use the correct word due to either a lack of proper vocabulary knowledge or a failure to proofread. Either way, it is still a clear LR deduction.  
  
The writer shows a clear understanding of the topic and how it should be discussed. However, his word usage and sentence structure flaws could cause him to recieve failing scores in the applicable sections. Strengthening the writer's skills will help him gain better scares in the said areas.
## **In many countries schools have severe problems with student behavior.**

  
*What do you think are the causes of this?  
What solutions can you suggest?*  
  
It is evident that schools are currently suffering from a severe case of students' conduct disorder. The following essay discusses the underlying causes of this problem and proposes some potential solutions.  
  
Firstly, let us take a look at two main causes of inappropriate behavior in students. One reason is that when a student hits puberty, he or she is more susceptible to peer pressure. Impressionable students in this phase tend to modify their behavior due to the actions of their peers, as they lack the ability to distinguish between right and wrong. This tendency also explains why the Internet's glorification of harmful content readily leads students into believing that some inappropriate activities such as aggression, sexual insult, or drug use are not at all serious and even enjoyable. The other key factor is the setting in which students grow up. Children with insufficient education from the very first stages of life are inclined to deviances. According to clinical psychologist Baumrind, parents who bring up their children in either a neglectful or disciplinarian way are more likely to have their children develop low self-esteem and engage in improper activities.  
  
However, there are some suggestions of solutions that I can offer. Educational institutions should provide more activities addressing these behavioral problems, such as lessons on how to evaluate materials on the Internet. These activities should equip students with valuable knowledge and soft skills, allowing them to better understand how to handle a variety of situations as well as develop a stronger personal perspective. At the same time, an authoritative approach to educating children should be adopted by parents. Through this method, parents not only set rules and high expectations for their children but also try their best to be affectionate and supportive of them. As for society, every individual should feel the responsibility and take actions to limit the propagation of 'unhealthy' messages so as to prevent students from being negatively influenced. In the same fashion, social media influencers could produce high-quality content that encourages parents to show more consideration to their children.  
  
In brief, students' behavioral problems are complex and necessitate a significant amount of effort. I hope that the public will pay greater attention to this hotly debated topic and work towards some positive changes.  
  
thanks a lot ^^
The following essay discusses the underlying causes of this problem and proposes some potential solutions.  
Unacceptable. You were not being asked to repeat the guide qquestions. The requirement was to directly provide 2 causes and solutions responses. Outline the discussion topics. Provide thisis statements that will offer an insight into your English discussion skills. There are no opinion statements present. The format is only partially represented.  
  
According to clinical psychologist Baumrind,  
Do not use researched information. This data does not fall under public knowledge or personal experience and knowledge as suggested by the prompt. You will be unable to research during the actual test.  
  
The truth is, the essay is very well presented but, this type of 300+ word presentation cannot be completed within the 40 minute time allowance. Practice writing in concise sentences.
## businesses duty to provide social services to communities

  
  
This is an extremely practical opinion that most of citizens in their country cares about.In my opinion,I disagree with this idea of companies providing social services to communities,to improve life condition like social service such as playground,park,bus service,etc,...I really think this is about the local goverment policy not company's duty.Answering this,we do taxes,which we pay the goverment to improve our lives,not just police,not just roads but also our active life too like sports and social facilities as I said above.On the other hand,companies don't receive people's cash so clearly that they don't have the responsiblities to provide those services.Just to be clear,not saying that they can't help,in fact there are hundreds of companies help to build hospital,S.O.S houses,park,...Help is always needed for those who have bad condition.Considering that the goverment held the most important jobs:running a country,but indeed that as a powerful agency,they need to provide best place to live for the people.Furthermore,improving people's life condition will gain people's trust which needs for a goverment running a country.Companies in fact they do pay for taxes which also contributed to the govermant bank,they already take part in improving people's lives,so its obvious that they dont have duty to do that.In general,we all share the responsibilities to make our community a better place to live but mostly that's the responsiblilies of the goverment,not company
Please refrain from practice essays until you have become more familiar with the general paragraph format and specific opinion presentation typer for the task 2 essay. This needs to follow the standard 4 paragraph discussion composed of 4-5 sentences with a clearly outlined opinion presentation. The 5 paragraph optional presentation is sometimes used when asked to discuss both views and offer an opinion.There is also the word count minimum of 250 words for each essay, regardless of discussion type.  
  
Based on the aforementioned explanation,I am sure you can understand why this essay cannot recieve a passing score. It has to be given a failing score due as it misses out on the required presentation requirements.
***The pie charts below show units of electricity production by fuel source in France and Australia in 1980 and 2020.***  
## Write a report describing the information and make comparisons when relevant.

  
  
The pie chart compare the number of electricity units provided by 5 types of fuel source in France and Australia in the years 1980 and 2000.  
  
Overall, it can be seen that Australia relied on coal as a primary source of fuel in both years, while France had a balanced use of different fuels in 1980 only to depend heavily on nuclear power 20 years after. Both countries produced remarkably more units of electricity after the period.  
  
In 1980, half of Australia's electricity came from coal, doubling France's figure. Natural gas and hydro power each produced 20 units of electricity, and oil accounted for a small number of 10 units. By 2000, total electricity production went up to 170 units, with a significant portion of 130 units produced from coal. While hydro power was used more than in 1980, oil and natural gas's electricity production dropped to only 2 units each.  
  
On the other hand, France made use of a wider range of fuel source than Australia in 1980. Coal, oil, hydro power and nuclear power all contributed almost equally to electricity production, at around 20 units each, although hydro power was much less utilized compared to australia, producing only 5 units. After 20 years, France experienced a dramatic shift in production, with nuclear power producing 126 out of 180 units total. Coal and oil's yearly production remained relatively unchanged, but both natural gas and hydro power's figure declined to only 2 units of electricity.  
  
*   
*Charts*
The pie chart  
Look at the images provided. More than one right? Therefore a plural word form for the image should be used. Anytime more than one image is presented, the reference goes from singular to plural form.  
  
As for the trending statement, it must include a reference to all 5 power source types to complete the measurement sauce presentation. If not inclined to present the names in the trend, then list there along with the image identification section.  
  
doubling France's figure  
Both country references need true values mentioned in the manner present in the chart. Every sentence must offer factual information.This does not because the reader has to guess what the values are.
**TOPIC:  
*Nowadays some people choose to live in the city while other chooses to stay in the countryside.***  
## What are the the advantages and disadvantages of city living over living in the countryside?

  
  
It is true that nowadays, leaving hometown to work in big cities is a popular trend of young people. While there are various reasons for this issue, it is actually a negative development because it is leading to the lack of labor force in some areas.  
  
The main cause of the desire to live in big cities is to have a higher living standard. To be specific, mass communications portrays the modern and comfortable live in the metropolitan areas encourage young people to strive for a better future. Moreover, children often want to fulfill the wish of their parents with their future. For instance, in my hometown, 90 percent of young people who are 18 years old enough will go to big cities to have a job or achieve higher education. With them, this is an opportunity to have a well-paid job and a better future for not only them but also their kids. Nevertheless, I firmly believe that the increasing number of young people leaving hometown has a negative impact on the development at all. That leads to the lack of a workforce and the adverse affection on economic improvement. While there are only old people who do not have the ability to work, the quality and the quantity of products will reduce. Thus, the revenue from production and trade activities will be lower. As a result, the countryside can not develop the economy and the living standards of residents could not be improved. According to a report on VTV, in the countryside, old people and kids live without adults who have enough ability to work. So, they all feel lonely because of the lack of attention from their relatives. To sum up, it is clear that maybe leaving hometown will give young people chances to achieve a higher living standard. However, it is evident that we should think carefully about the sustainable developments of the countryside.
The essay, even though over 300 words in length will fail to recieve a passing score for 2 specific reasons:  
  
- Incorrect discussion format  
- Wrong presentation format  
  
The incorrect discussion presentation was caused by the writer's misunderstanding of the discussion instruction. Let us outline this part to clearly show the mistake.  
  
Discussion Instruction: WHAT ARE THE THE **ADVANTAGES AND DISADVANTAGES** OF CITY LIVING OVER LIVING IN THE COUNTRYSIDE?  
Response:  
  
...it is actually a **negative development**  
I highlighted the conflicting parts to make the error of the writer more evident. The discussion was to follow the Advantage V. Disadvantage comparison format. Instead, the writer opted to make it a positive or negative single opinion discussion. The response is improper and not applicable to the discussion requirements. This is an automatic TA failure.  
  
Next, this is to be presented in the standard 4 paragraph format composed of:  
1 prompt restatement + opinion response  
2 reasoning paragraphs that best explain the reasons for the opinion presented  
1 concluding paraphrase that summarizes the topic and reasons at the end of the presentation.  
  
What is evident in the presentation is that the discussion fails to meet the passing score requirements for this test. Even with partial LR and G R A scores applied, it will not recieve a base passing score.
When I first read your introduction, I thought I misread this. However, It is true that you were writing incorrectly, which means you did not meet the requirement.  
  
The first body paragraph, I recommend you to present advantages of LIVING IN THE CITY, compared to living in the countryside. They can be convenience with loads of amenities and facilities, and transportation. Cities offer humans plenty of amenities and facilities meanwhile it would be hard to approach them. You can explain, give example to clear your opinion.  
  
The second one, you should show its disadvantages such as environmental issues and living standards.  
  
I wish it would help ^^.
Firstly, I think you misunderstood the prompt. You were asked to discuss the advantages and disadvantages **for people who move to cities**. Instead, you discussed about said aspects for the general development.  
  
Secondly, I have spotted several mistakes in word choice  
  
Such as  
  
live in  
Should have been "life".  
  
"...to have a job or to achieve..."  
  
a better future for not only ...  
Run-on sentence, could have been divided by a comma, and perhaps be reworded as "...a better future, not only for them, but also for their kids...".  
  
on the development at all  
The phrase "at all" at the end may confuse reader to think that you meant young people leaving their hometowns doesn't have any negative.  
  
affection on economic  
"affection" was wrongly used as it means "a feeling of liking for a person or place" according to the Cambridge dictionary. Whereas I suppose you meant "adverse effect".  
  
While there are only old  
Personally, I think using "when" would be more fitting than "while".  
  
activities will be lower  
If you are using "lower" as an adjective, I think it would be more appropriate to specify being lower than what exactly. Or, you could have used the passive form of the verb as "lowered".  
  
So, they all feel lonely because ...  
The following argument of the first sentence made no sense. The loneliness from lacking attention has nothing to do with having no one in the family who is capable of working.  
  
Those are all I can spot and correct, so far. Hope you find this helpful
First of all, the most serious problem in your essay is the misunderstanding. It seems that you didn't read the question carefully. Particularly, you're asked **WHAT ARE THE THE ADVANTAGES AND DISADVANTAGES OF CITY LIVING OVER LIVING IN THE COUNTRYSIDE?**, not whether it's a positive or negative development.  
  
Second of all, the introduction mentions "leaving hometown to work in big cities is a popular trend of young people" which is totally incorrect, because working isn't related to people's decisions to live in big cities, according to the topic. So I think you lost your points on coherence and cohesion.  
  
Third of all, you should divide the essay into 3 paragraphs. That's the typical standard for essays.  
With respect to the content, you have 2 ideas related to the topic which are higher living standard and well-paid jobs. However, the third idea is irrelevant. Living without adults who work doesn't mean they're lonely, so this idea should be replaced by another one or specified. For example, adult children who live in countryside mostly have to leave their parents to go to big cities for jobs, which causes them to be lonely when there aren't their children around.  
  
Finally, because the topic requires you to mention disadvantages, you should write some, such as overpopulation, pollution and crime.  
Hope this helps!
## IELTS WRITING TASK 1 (BAR CHART)

  
The bar chart illustrates the percentage participation of man in senior development position in three companies from 1980 to 2010.  
Overall, all these companies showed a n upward trend throughout the period. The percentage of mean working in senior position had some fluctuations. The IBM initually had a lowest rate but at the end of the period it outraced the Microsoft and the Apple. At first, the rate of men participating in high position in the Apple company is the highest among the three companies, but it changed into the lowest rate at last.  
  
From 1980 to 2010, the Microsoft's rate had slightly increase. It was about 9% in 1980 and it went uo approximately 1% next five years. Then, the rate rose to almost 12% in 1990. The figure shows a steady increase to the end of the period. It hit around 45% in 2010, being higher than that in 10 years ago about 27%. In general, the percentage participation of men in senior development position in Microsoft was often in the second.  
  
The rate in IBM company at the beginning of the period was less than 5% and it creased about 1% next 5 years. In 1990, the rate reached around 12%, outraced the rate of Microsoft. From 1995 to 2010, there was a strong rise. The rate hit about 30% in 1995, 35% in 2000 and a high-point of 65% in 2010. The number of men participating in high position at the end of the period in IBM was the largest among the 3 companies.  
  
The chart shows a gradual fluctuation in the percentage participation of men during the period. The rate in Apple was the highest from 1980 to 1990 (15%, 12% and 13% respectively). However from 1995 onwards, the Apple company no loger had the highest rate. The percentage reached around 18%, being less than that of IBM company approximately 10%. It rose about 2% in the next 5 years and 3% in 2010
man  
position  
Word plural reference error.The image always refers to more than 1 in any instance. All task 1 references are plural in form so "men" not" man", "positions" never " position". Use the letter S within the reference word to signify the plural form.  
  
initually  
Sloppy spelling that shows poor vocabulary skills or lack of proofreading skills. The word is spelled as "initially".  
  
outraced the  
Refer to the speed of competition as pace so the word is "outpaced" without need to use the definite article "the".  
  
had slightly increase  
Had is the past refence to "have". So the word "increase" should have a D at the and to indicate the past event. Unless referring to a future projection, all references are in past form.
"man" is a singular noun while "men" is a plural one so you use that word, you can try the word "males" .  
~~went uo approximately 1%~~ i think this should be "went up BY/TO  
**strong rise** you use some adjective like "exponential","considerable" which may increase your LR score  
finally, i think you should use more connective word in your essay in order to improve its coherance, for example, "followed by","and then","before","after",....
## Male and female participants of Olympics

  
  
The given charts give details about the number of Olympics participants in both genders from 1924 to 2012. Above all, there was a significant increase in the total sum of participants. Overall, the number of male participants was always higher than that of female participants.  
  
As can be seen from the first graph, in 1924, the Olympic champion took place with 3000 male competitors while hardly any females joined in. There was a noticeable development in male participants while that figure of females developed moderately. In 1952, over 5000 males went in for the Olympics while only 1500 females joined in. However, in 2012, the number of females athletics grew dramatically to nearly 5000, only 1000 lower than that of males.  
  
The second graph described the growing tendency of the participants during 88 years. The number of contestants started with a nearby 4000 then growing dramatically in the following years before finishing at over 10000.  
  
*
The given charts  
Identify each chart type individually as each image has a seperate, standalone function in terms of data presentation. There are not both graphs. One is a line chart, as evidenced by the fluctuating lines. / The other is, for obvious reasons, called a bar chart.  
  
Olympic champion  
This refers to the overall winner of an event. Something not referenced in the presentation. This incorrect descriptive tuum lowers the vocabulary and grammar scores.  
  
females athletics  
Female athletes. The writer is definitely going to fail based on his inability to properly structure sentences and use English words within context. He needs to become more skilled in the word usage of the language.  
  
during 88 years  
Over 88 years. The writer is making so many coherence error based on word usage that the final score will definitely be failing.