dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
***Parents with good careers now spend less time with their kids.***  
## Is it a positive or negative development?

  
  
There is a growing tendency that people who have gained some valued achievement prefer spending their time on occupation rather than on their children. Since that status may worsen the kids' well-being yet strengthen their dependence at the same time, this essay illustrates an impartial stance toward the problem.  
  
On the one hand, parents with an optimal working situation ignoring their children result in the children's health impairment. As for a person at a young age, children usually find it difficult to be aware of their own health and to recognise the problem, even the smallest such as fever. Those little kids need adults, specifically their parents, to help them be conscious of their mental and physical condition. Since parents are older people who have experienced most of those things, they would easily understand what is happening to the kids and how to handle the issue. Without parents' care due to work attraction, children cannot be monitored on a daily basis and hence untreated illness. As a matter of fact, their health deteriorates over time.  
  
On the other hand, not receiving care from parents gradually nurtures in children a great dependence. Being brought up with a light protection, kids tend to realize the circumstance and know which ways to adapt to such a life. Whenever they wonder about something, they have to question other people about it or search for the answers on the internet, instead of asking their parents as they do not have time for a conversation. This means they are passing the process of self-doing, which enhances the fundamental ability to solve other problems in life.  
  
In conclusion, the chief downside of kids having loose bonds with their parents is their abysmal health change, whereas the major upside is the self-developed dependence.
The writer has incorrectly referred to parents as ordinary people in his restatement. Such an error changes the subject basis of the topic. As an incorrect synonym presentation, it will tend to negatively affect his LR score. The reason being that the word does not correctly represent the original and carries a different meaning.  
  
While the writer's opinion basis is well stated, the lack of direct response reference is going to reduce the openon clarity score. The response Skeyword must be present since it will make the opinion clear rather than implied to the examiner. The lack of direct reference will be another deduction.  
  
It is important that the writer understands why his discussion approach is incorrect. This is a single - defense since a decision regarding reasoning support must be made given the 2 choices. Failure to present a proper 2 reasoning defense will result in a reduced score due to an underdeveloped discussion. Scores will only be provided for the writer opinion supporting paragraph.  
  
The opposing paragraph will not be scored and reduce the word count of the essay to below minimum,which will be another set of score reductions. As such the writer might receive a base passing score or less owing to other grammatical issues in this essay as well.
***People should only concentrate on a single skill for life because it is the best way to succeed.***  
## To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

  
  
*Essay*  
  
It is a common belief that the best way to succeed is to focus on just one life ability. However, I am convinced that concentrating on a single skill is not the best way to reach our goal; on the contrary, that way is even more uncertain and contains high risks.  
  
To begin with, knowing just one life skill makes our jobs unstable and the future career path more risky. This is because when you concentrate on one skill, you have fewer options for employment. Furthermore, nothing can guarantee that your current jobs will not be replaced by ones that exist tomorrow in an ever-changing world. For example, during the first wave of the COVID pandemic in Vietnam, hundreds of airport employees were forced to find alternate employment in order to make ends meet. Not only that, but many foreign language teachers faced the same problem: they had no income from offline classes for several weeks, and the reason is that the only job they know how to do is teach foreign languages.  
  
On top of that, while concentrating on a single skill is undeniably one of the best strategies to achieve in life, it is not the only effective way. Many well-known CEOs and celebrities worked in a variety of occupations to gain practical experience with the market and large systems.Therefore, they must cultivate knowledge and acquire necessary skills from numerous sources before becoming successful in their fields. For instance, Jeff Bezos, the CEO of Amazon, is one of the most famous and influential people in the world. Before establishing a resounding Amazon, he gained many different skills from various jobs, such as programming techniques, management skills, and economics skills.  
  
To sum up, focusing on one ability brings more risk and uncertainty into our lives, and it is also not the only good strategy to reach the goal. For these reasons, knowing more skills provides us with more opportunities to succeed.
The writer used a good alternative restatement. Though word usage was a bit faulty, the original discussion concept remained clear to the reader. The problem is that the direct writer's opinion was not provided. In the writeis excitement to respond, he went directly to the discussion thesis instead. He should always remember to answer the question first then state what his answer is based on. All things considered in this paragraph, he did not completely develop the paragraph but it was still a good effort on his part. It is good but not good enough.  
  
His score was saved by his highly coherent discussion paragraphs. He succesfully met the passing requirements for the 2 paragraph presentation by using cohesive discussion points and coherent thought presentations. Good job!  
  
The summary conclusion was too short though. He should have used the reverse paraphrase format there. Restate the problem, opinion, and 2 reasons before presenting a closing statement. This should be completed in 3-4 sentences or 40 words, whichever is developed first.
***Raising household electricity fees is the most effective solution to the problem associated with power generation and environmental pollution.  
## To what extent do you agree or disagree?

  
What other measures do you think might be effective in reducing the environmental pollution caused by power generation***  
  
While some people might argue that increasing the cost of household usage is the vitality of addressing the issue regarding power resources and environmental pollution, I firmly disagree and believe that it's urbanization and industrialization which are the main causes and there are some potential measures to tackle these problems as below.  
  
Though it's undisputed that irresponsible power consumerism for individual purposes brings about a significant contribution to energy waste and environmental changes, I strongly believe that the median of electricity billing plays a minor factor in comparison with business and exploration activities. For this reason, raising residential energy utilities would be no avail to accommodate the issue. Instead, stricter regulations should be applied to organizations that are in conjunction with burning fossil fuels and depleting toxic emissions.  
  
To elucidate, the environmental issue is complex and it's pleading combinations of many ultimate actions to conserve it. It's undoubtedly that the robust reliance of humans on nuclear power is the major driver of climate change. That is the reason why policymakers should apply extra costs to the activities of corporations associated with emitting greenhouse gas and chemical compounds. These substances in the environment will pollute the soil and water seriously and jeopardize the ecology as well as the species living up on it. Additionally, utilizing new types of energy which are more sustainable, such as wind/solar resources, geothermal power, and tidal energy, is highly necessary to reduce pressure on the planet due to burning fossil fuel. Government subsidies should be vitally focused on developing new technology and exploiting new resources as well.  
  
In conclusion, human activities are responsible for environmental changes due to their power needs. Increasing fees on personal electricity usage is not an effective way to tackle the problem ultimately. Instead, sturdy legislation on business and the development of new resources would make a substantial change to the environment.
While some people might argue  
Incorrect statement. It is not implied but rather stated as a fact in the original prompt. Try to restate all the information in a more accurate manner next time.  
  
The prompt restatement ended up being quite complicated in vocabulary usage, but lacking in clarity. Improper sentence structure in relation to word usage caused this situation. It will definitely reduce the preliminary TA, C + C, and GRA scores.  
  
and believe that ... are the main causes  
This is a throwaway statement and will not be scored. As a prompt deviation, it offers a discussion topic not referenced in the original. As such, this statement will further reduce the final TA score.  
  
there are some potential measures  
This is one of the most important discussion topic responses that should have been represented by proper and clear solution suggestion topics.  
  
The restatement and writer's opinion paragraph will receive a failing score.  
  
The main problem with this presentation is that the writer is relying on length and word usage to pass the test. Rather than writing a direct and qquick response as required, he decided to throw the whole dictionary into the essay regardless of word meaning, proper word usage in the sentence, and discussion clarity requirements. These are the reasons the essay will not pass the test. It is just too confusing for a native English speaker to read.
## Advantages of reading books

  
  
Reading books does bring us a lot of advantages, which there are three important ones as follows. First of all, reading books helps us widen our knowledge. We can get information about culture, traditions, history, geography, arts, psychology, and several other life subjects from books. The more books we read, the more knowledge we have obtained. In the second place, reading books helps us improve our expressing abilities such as writing and speaking. For example, when we read foreign literature, we will not only know more about that country but also have a chance to improve our reading skills, and learn new words which can be read to better our essay. . Additionally, people who read a lot of books usually have a large vocabulary source and speak more attractively. Last but not least, reading books is undoubtedly a way of relaxing after a day hard of work. It stimulates your brain muscles and keeps your brain healthy; it has some positive effects on your mind and soul. In summary, reading books is importantly beneficial because it not only helps us become wiser but also brings us happiness. Thus, everyone should be encouraged to read books as much as possible!
A 200 word presentation does not meet any essay writing requirements. It most specially does not meet task 2 writing requirements when it comes to the expected 4 paragraph personal opinion discussion of the exam. This essay is faulty for several reasons based on word count, task requirements, and full reasoning development. Aside from being a listing of possible discussion ideas, the presentation does not really proceed to present valid reasoning considerations as necessary.  
  
The essay does well in the use of pronouns, however incorrect the usage in the presentation. Being a personal , and analyses essay, group pronouns such as we and us should instead be represented by first person pronouns like me, myself, and I. It is imperative that correct pronouns are used since the writer is not asked to represent an opinion beyond his own based on the discussion requirements.  
  
Acceptable reasons have been provided but underdeveloped. This lack of progressive discussion will result in a lower C + c score due to a lack of cohesive idea explanation points. These can be more completely presented in a paragraph format. Punctuation usage should not include an exclamation point when writing formal papers as this can be misconstrued as shouting in witten form. There is no need for over emphasis in this case.
Usually with essays, you should make a statement at the beginning (called the thesis) that says what your entire essay is about. (This is under the assumption that you're writing an essay. Usually essays are much longer with an intro, three paragraphs going into detail about each point/argument, and a conclusion.) You do fine with the conclusion sentence "*reading books is importantly beneficial*", but you never mention this in the beginning. Something along the lines of "reading is important because it widens our knowledge, improves our literacy skills and is a relaxing way to spend time." makes a good thesis! Even if you're only supposed to write a paragraph, it's still important to have this thesis sentence.  
  
Do the same with the conclusion. You should repeat your three points in the concluding sentence/paragraph and summarize the entire paragraph/essay.  
  
Try looking up synonyms or good transition words to help keep your paragraph smooth. In second place sounds like you're announcing the winners of a race or contest. Something like "Secondly, Additionally, Moreover, Furthermore, etc." works! Simply google "transition words" for things to use.  
  
And elaborate more on your points! You mention how reading has positive effects on your mind and soul. What kind of effects does it bring? How does it keep your brain healthy?  
  
I don't know the conditions or what you have to do for this assignment, but I'd recommend looking through the instructions and making sure you're following them and getting all the requirements. They'll probably give a word count there so make sure you reach it (and don't surpass it.)  
  
Hope it helped somewhat.
You could proofread with a grammar checker online to frame your sentence structure correctly.  
Would also suggest paragraphing your content in the order:  
  
Your introduction :  
-Thesis(main point of your essay)  
-Organizational statement(sentence leading to the body of your essay)  
  
The body(repeat as many times as needed for each body paragraph)  
-topic sentence  
-topic/point analysis  
-link to thesis  
  
Your conclusion  
-Sum up your major points captured in your body  
-Link to your thesis  
-Final thoughts  
  
Hope this helps!
***With the improvements in today's health care, society has to care for more and more elderly people.  
Do you feel that society will be able to cope with the increase in the number of elderly people today and how can it be managed?***  
  
## Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

  
  
The breakthrough of the social medical system leads to a significant focus on the old. In my opinion, society would face difficulty with the increase in elderly people. The authority needs to have a radical remedy to tackle this problem. This essay also explains this phenomenon.  
  
It would be tough for society to gain attention to medical care for the old under the circumstances. The authority and the medical center's directors should manage the phenomenon well. They should make plans with the strategic city planner to foresee the quantity of the old. The authority will reallocate the human medical resources until getting the specific data. Besides, the young also take responsibility for the health care of their parents. By paying attention to the old's health, the young will contribute to reducing the burden of the public health care system.  
  
There are some reasons for the difficulties including the extent of human, facilities, and finance. About the human aspect, with the improvement of health care, the human resources for medical would be minimized in spite of the more attention on the elderly. Regarding the facility, the local medical services would not be available for the old. Finance is the last impact related to the difficulty for geriatrics.  
  
For example, during the epidemic of Covid 19, vaccines will be preferred for the young. The health condition of the old includes many based diseases, which delay the impact of the treatment process. The old also need more nursery and medical staff to take care of than the young. Under the global disaster, fertility and financial resources also are scared, which makes the old underprivileged.  
  
In a conclusion, with the improvement of the medical system, society pays more attention to the elderly however that activity would be a burden. Both authorities and the young take responsibility for taking care of the old's health condition. Besides, the reasons for the difficulty is dependent on human, fertility, and finance.
There is a difference between caring for the elderly and focusing on the elderly. The former refers to the medical needs of the aged, as referred to in the original. The latter only implies an interest in the elderly, without a specific medical reference to the subject. The prompt restatement is therefore incorrect.  
  
With regards to the writer's opinion, the exam taker should understand that although a clear opinion was presented, the rest of the response does not establish a correct discussion basis as indicated. Which authority should be responsible for this? What specific actions must be taken ? Establish the facts in the summary then expand it in the reasoning paragraphs. The last sentence in the presentation is a topic deviation that unnecessarily changed the orginal presentation. The lack of proper development in this paragraph will not be good for the preliminary discussion score.  
  
Do not over discuss the topic. The 1st reasoning paragraph dealt with the relevant question in a cohesive manner witha proper example worked into the paragraph, well meeting the C + C requirements. The second question should have been presented in a similar manner. There was no need to present a stand alone example.
You have answered the question of whether the society would be able to cope with the increase in the number of elderly people. I would suggest before explaining how the situation/issue can be managed you explain in a sentence or two why the society will gave a hard time coping.  
  
Also, there are a few errors. Consider editing out the last sentence of the second paragraph  
"...burden of the..." To "...burden on the..."  
The last paragraph, Instead of saying," In a conclusion..." You could say, "In conclusion..."
**topic :**  
**The graph below shows the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004.**  
  
## fISH, LAMB, BEEF AND CHICKEN CONSUMPTION

  
  
The line graph give information about the consumption of fish and 3 kinds of meat ( beef , lamb ,chicken ) in a European country from 1979 to 2004.  
Overall , at the start of period beef had a most consumption, which was replaced by chicken from around 1984 to 2004 . Fish had lowest consumption and remained no change  
  
With regards to the amount of beef use , it began around 230 in 1979 , decreased to 180 in the middle of 1979 and 1984 , and suprisingly reached a peak at 230. After 1984 , the use of beef decreased to around 120 in the final. in contrast to chicken , it began around 145 and then increased fast , it was around 240 in 2004.  
  
Lamb started at 150 and then peaked at 130 in 1989 .Since that year it decreased and in 2004 it was around 80. Fish was not popular used in Europen country , during 25-year period started from 1979 , fish did not changed much , it was around 50.  
  
*
The writer has witten the summary overview from the incorrect timeframe. He must use the past tense reference since all of the data was collated from previously dated information. When he did use a past reference term, it was done in the incorrect sentence format so it added to the GRA deductions of this presentation.  
  
His trending statement does not use the correct reference format either. A proper trending paragraph will make vague measurement references that represent a consistent measure, without too much data references such as year information. What he should have done is indicate the measurement type for additional data clarity. He forgot to mention that which led to a slight confusion regarding weight type.
## Computer Programmes for Teaching Purposes

  
  
Topic: **Computers are now the basis of the modern world. They should therefore be introduced into classrooms, and their programs used for direct teaching purposes. However, dependence on computers in teaching may carry a certain degree of risk to students.**  
  
*Discuss both sides and give your opinion.  
  
Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.  
  
You should write at least 250 words.*  
  
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Answer:  
  
In a world where technological advance constantly takes place, utilising computer programmes in classrooms for educational purposes is becoming a trend in the majority of schools these days. However, it is sometimes argued that this change is possibly affecting the students in a negative way. In this essay, I will be discussing both of these views, followed by my own opinion regarding this problem.  
  
Firstly, computers can be a great help in classrooms in order to increase teaching efficiency. With a vast number of interactive programmes, teaching materials that teachers can choose from, this can directly build growth of students' interest in the subject, as they can participate in the process of learning themselves. Consequently, the interest in the subject is slowly built in each learner, helping them to reach the aim faster and in a more active way. Moreover, computers are becoming the cutting-edge device, used widely in various activities in our lives. Therefore, it is indispensable to learn how to function it properly, considering the difficulties it can bring if a student does not know how to do so.  
  
However, those convenience can become great dangers if each student are not aware of what they are facing online. For instance, false information, threats and scams on websites, cyberbullying, especially for teenagers, are only a small part of the adverse elements can be found when browsing the Internet and can contribute to damage a student's health mentally and physically. In order to prevent this from happening, it is essential to create school curriculums which provide students the basic points of Internet safety. Limitations of screen time should also be made so that students can stay away from being addicted to computers, or experiencing a downfall in their education.  
  
To conclude, although dependence on computers can indeed have a potential to harm students in some way, I still believe that it should be widely publicised to make use of technology in teaching. It is considered a breakthrough for humanity and can bring great benefits to the learning of many individuals.  
  
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Thank you for spending time reading and correcting my essay. Have a great day!