dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
@juntrinh  
  
Could you give me more info about "free style"? I have just begun study IELTS for 1 month and I realize the writing of IELTS is much more difficult than TOEFL (I got 27 in Writing session). However, my IELTS writing is always low >"<  
  
If you have time, could you please give me some advice and clarify some styles of IELTS writing?
## the value of travelling

  
  
Nowadays, Travelling is the kind of activity, which almost all the people love. For some people it is an opportunity to relax and abstract from everyday busy life. For others it is interesting to learn about other cultures.  
  
Of course, there are people who are always unhappy with the way the life is, and they will say that travelling is unpleasant and involves a lot of stress due to the necessity to pack their things, use public transport and so on. But fortunately, those people are rather few.  
  
As for me, travelling is exciting and interesting. I would like to travel to different countries, experiencing cultures and trying different foods.  
The first advantage is traveling helps us to experience new things and open our minds to the outside world also get the opportunity to meet different people from different places.  
  
Secondly, experiencing different cultures can be enlightening and educational. One of the way to learn about different culture is to travel. Traveling increases our knowledge and widens our perspective.  
  
To sum up, travelling has tremendous educative, informative and social value.
Hi elizabethbehappy, i am a new member who is trying to improve my writing skill. i would like to discuss something about your essay and hope this will also help me write correctly for the next time.  
  
When we write a topic, we need to have at least 3 paragraphs: Introduction, body and conclusion. If in the part of the introduction, you wrote travelling help people: relax and abstract; learn the culture, so in the body, you must explain about your opinions. (How travel makes people relax, learn the culture, give more example,...)  
  
*"there are people who are always unhappy with the way the life is"* We should avoid the word "always" to assert an absolute view, you can instead by "in a way".  
  
"But fortunately, those people are rather few." this sentence should not be given.  
  
Firstly, travel helps us to ......Secondly, ..... You should put them in one paragraph because they both discuss the advantage of travel.  
You can replace "busy life" by "hectic life", it is better.  
  
Hope someone will help correct your essay.
Elizabeth, I need you to clarify if you are writing a practice test for an English exam such as IELTS or TOEFL or, if you are writing this for an English practice class. The reason I ask is because there are 2 different requirements for each type of English writing. Now, if you are just writing this as something you chose to do for practice, without any particular instructions to follow, then the require essay writing formats are not a requirement. Since you did not provide an instruction as to whether this is for an exam or just practice, I will assume that you wrote this as a personal practice test and review it as such.  
  
When you write an essay, you need to follow a chronological or connected form of discussion presentation. You need to make sure that you discuss topics in a connected manner so that your essay will come across as easy to follow and is simple to understand and remember. So for this writing, you should have done as follows:  
  
1. Explained the purpose of the essay in the first paragraph.  
2. Discussed reason 1  
3. Discussed reason 2  
4. Discussed your personal reason  
5. Concluded the essay  
  
While the aforementioned format works for the English essay exams, it also helps to serve as a guide for those writing English practice tests. It allows you learn how to discuss in an understandable manner and offers you the opportunity to practice expanding your expanding your English vocabulary. Remember, if you are not practicing for an English test, the sentence requirement is not important. That applies only if you are practicing for the test due to the expected discussion format / requirement.
I wrote again... let me know , what do you think  
thanks  
  
Nowadays, Travelling is the kind of activity, which almost all the people love. For some people, it is an opportunity to relax and abstract from everyday hectic life and also it is interesting to learn about other cultures, therefore traveling has more advantages.  
  
For one thing, traveling helps us to experience new things and open our minds to the outside world, moreover, get the opportunity to meet people from different places. Secondly, experiencing different cultures can be enlightening and educational. One of the ways to learn about a different culture is to travel. For example, when we get a chance to take part in local celebrations we can discover similarities and differences between cultures,  
  
However, there are people who are unhappy when they hear the word "travel", and they will say that traveling is unpleasant and involves a lot of stress due to the necessity to pack their things, use public transport and so on.  
  
To sum up, I think traveling has tremendous educative, informative and social value because traveling increases our knowledge and widens our perspective.
Nowadays, **t**ravelling is the kind ...  
For some people, it is an opportunity ...  
For others, it is interesting to ...  
  
... and they will say that travel~~l~~ing is unpleasant and involves ... (I think you should separate this sentence to 2 sentences). ~~But~~ **However**, fortunately, those ...  
  
As for me, trave~~l~~ling is exciting and interesting.  
... countries, experienc~~ing~~e cultures and ~~trying~~ enjoy different foods.**(remember consistent rule in grammar)**  
  
Secondly, experiencing different cultures ... (Don't repetition too much. I don't know how to amend this paragraph to you. Sorry!!!)  
  
I think you should practice more and try to avoid grammar mistakes, study more academic words.
Please evaluate my essay, thank you =)  
  
**Out of the following three things, which one would you prefer to regulate in order to improve your health?  
1. the kind of food you eat  
2. the amount of exercise  
3. the amount of stress in your life**  
  
## how to straighten out the organism?

  
  
In recent years, the awareness of fitness and health has been raised. People try to improve their own health condition, either by working out more or reducing their stress. However, neither of them is as important as a healthy diet. In my opinion, I would choose to pay more attention on the food I consume in order to boost my health.  
  
First of all, there is a wide variety of food I can choose to keep a healthy diet. For example, salads are easy to make and are nutritious as well. Or I can simply cook my own food instead of having meals in other restaurants. This definitely saves a lot of money and guarantees dishes without that many additives. Some people may assume that eating clean means taking in food with plain taste or hardly edible cuisines. In fact, healthy food can be quite delicious and eating always keeps me happy. Compared to exercising or finding ways to relax, I believe choosing the food I eat undoubtedly provides me with more options.  
  
Secondly, it is apparently easier to regulate what I eat than to be determined to do exercise or to relax. Sometimes, I just don't have time to go to the gym or go for a run. After a long day of working or studying, fatigue strikes me and I don't have more energy and time to work out. Nevertheless, I need to eat. I simply have to be more careful on what I eat, and in this way my health status can be improved. In addition, it is obvious I cannot easily limit the stress in my life. I cannot foresee the challenges and frustration that I am going to encounter. Therefore, it is more difficult to cut down on the amount of stress than to examine the food I eat.  
  
Health is extremely indispensable and everyone should be able to take care of his/her own body. I am strongly convinced that keeping a healthy diet is a better way to improve both the physical and the mental health.  
  
Thanks for the patience and help!
Lee, since you were being asked a direct question in the prompt, you could have done a better job at representing the opening statement in order to make it more interesting to the examiner. If the examiner finds your presentation interesting, he will be more inclined to give you a higher score in the TA aspect of the test. I would have written the opening hook, not paraphrase, in the following manner:  
  
*There are 3 things that a person can regulate in life in order to improve his health. Some would prefer to increase their time of exercise, while others would prefer to reduce their stress levels. Personally, I prefer to control the types of food that I eat in order to improve my health. I opted for this choice for a number of reasons.  
  
Firstly...*  
  
Do you see how I was able to create my own proper prompt or discussion requirement based upon the provided information? That is the aim of this test and that is what you should provide. Don't treat it like a common prompt because this is somewhat of a "free topic" essay discussion with very minimal instructions provided. Use that freedom to highlight your TA and GRA abilities. Overall, the discussion you present is good. When combined with a killer opening statement, I am sure you will score highly on the actual test.
*Topic: **Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.***  
  
## changes not necessarily helps

  
  
People have different views about the question of whether they should change or not. While many people persist in doing one thing in their whole life, personally I argue that change is an unavoidable thing in our life.  
  
On the one hand, many people tend to repeat the same things as they believe they have achieved some security. However, change is not always a personal option. Even when people believe they are resisting change themselves, they cannot stop the world around them from changing. For instance, technology and scientific breakthroughs are changing the world on a daily basis. Another example would be that some people do not want to change their jobs because they are familiar with their current work and their colleagues. If they work in another workplace, they need to adapt a new environment, and they cannot concentrate on their work. Sooner or later, however, they would find that the familiar jobs no longer exist, or that the safety behaviours are no longer appropriate.  
  
On the other hand, I believe that change brings positive consequences for people. To give one example, repeating one job may be too tedious, and change can help people to have motivation for working. However, change is not always for the better. A lot of innovations, for example, are made with the aim of making money. In that case new things should not be promoted. As a result, people need to keep pace with changes.  
  
On the whole, I believe that people should not remain to do the same things, although all change does not necessarily have good outcomes.  
----  
  
Thank you for your help!
Trinh, your discussion would have been better if you had tried to follow the proper discussion outline as indicated in the original prompt. the problems with your essay started with the mistake that you made in the representation of the prompt in your paraphrasing. You neglected to properly assess the requirements of the essay and represent it in your outline plus paragraph discussion. How did you fail to properly assess the essay requirements? You were asked to discuss 2 points of view and then your personal opinion. You only discussed one point of view and your opinion. In terms of task accuracy, that would result in a score of 4 because your response to the required discussion is minimal. That will be a tremendous drawback in terms of your final score.  
  
It is important to get the highest possible marks in the TA section so that the other sections will automatically increase in possible scoring. If you can prove you understood the instructions, the examiner will be more lenient in terms of your other weaknesses. The failure of your opening statement, the paraphrasing sealed the failing score for your TA portion and assured that you would score failing to barely passing in the rest of the scoring considerations. The correct paraphrasing and discussion outline would be as follows:  
  
*There are two points of view regarding change in a person's life. One point of view is that people should always do the same things and never change. The other, is that change is a good thing for people's lives. This essay will examine the two points of view and offer my personal opinion and support for one of the two points of view.*
the pie charts illustrates the proportion of different countries(Others,China and Canada)exported fish to the US in 1988,1992 and 2000.Another table demonstrate the total money spent on the imported in the period shown.Unit measured billion of dollars.  
  
Generally,Expenditure in Fish increased from 1988 in the US.In addition,Canada is the main import countries for the US's fish market in 1988.In contrast,China had the least fish imported to the US.However,4 years later,Canada was not the main import countries anymore,replaced by others countries around the World which excepted(China).In 2000,Canada market position even took over by China.Canada become the smallest supply in the US.  
  
In 1988,Almost 7 billion dollars of fish were consumed by Americas.4 years later which came to 1992,Expenditure had a noticeable rise,up to 8.52 billion dollars.10.72 billion dollars were used to purchase fish in 2000 .  
  
In 1988,Canada dominated the fish market in the US,constituted 60%.Meanwhile,China and Others countries occupied 13% and 27% respectively.American prefer fish around in the World.Worldwide countries became the main imported countries in the US.The second highest were Canada.China is the least.In 2000,The sale of other countries had a slightly descended,down to 42%.In the meantime, China exported fish to the US have a exponentially ascended,up to 30%,which substituted the position of Canada in the US fish market.whereas,fish exported from Canada decreased even further.at 28%.  
  
Please commend in essay and rate it.Thank you very much  
  
*
@ke362989724 The most likely score that you can get for this particular presentation is a 5. You score that highly because you did not overlook any of the given information in the chart. However, you cannot score higher than that because of the grammatical issues that your presentation has. You are not very careful when writing your statements. You fail to allow for a space between sentences, do not follow the capitalization rules, and your sentences are very difficult to decipher. All of these problems cause undue stress on the reader. The examiner would find it difficult to analyze your presentation and as such, he will end up lowering your overall score.  
  
The more you try to develop complex sentences, the worse your sentence development gets. The next time that you present an essay for review here, try to use only simple sentences, that might improve your score because you are not trying to impress the examiner with your English vocabulary. You are just going to try to make yourself better understood. You also have a tendency to have run on sentences in each paragraph because you try to get around the 5 sentence maximum rule by using commas where periods should be placed. Don't do that. Just limit your discussion to 5 sentences per paragraph. Make sure you summarize the information from the chart in your presentation.  
  
Speaking of summarizing information, while you did present that information in this essay, albeit a very problematically developed one, you placed the countries in a parenthesis when you were supposed to make those countries a part of the summary presentation. Never use a parenthesis to indicate major information, always work it into the actual essay presentation or risk losing points for doing that.
Question:  
**Compare the advantages and disadvantages of three of the following as media for communicating information. State which you consider to be the most effective.**  
  
*comics  
books  
radio  
television  
film  
theatre*  
  
## tv delivers information most effectively

  
  
Answer:  
There are various advantages and disadvantages of books,radio and television as ways to convey information. Among the three tools,I think television is the most effective way to communicate information.  
  
Firstly,books are usually written by writers,professionals or people who have lots of experiences in certain fields. Furthermore, before publishing,the content of books are usually filtered by publishers.As a result,most of the information are reliable.Moreover,there are lots of types of books for customers to choose,books can allow people to get access to different knowledge conveniently.While not everyone likes to read books because there are too many words in books and some people may be illiterates. In fact,it is not an efficient way to deliver information.  
  
Secondly,as for radio,some presenters like to react with people,they tend to allow people to call in and exchange their opinions.So it is a good way to discuss opinions and experiences with different people.Furthermore,the radio is free for the public.However,there are many disadvantages in radio.On the one hand,if the electric wave or internet is weak,the radio channels can be easily disrupted.On the other hand,it is not an effective way to deliver information through radio because in modern societies,fewer people use the radio .  
  
Finally, in terms of television ,it is the most effective means to communicate information with the public because the majority of people have a television at home. Furthermore, channels are all displayed in videos so that television is the most attractive way to show information.While there are lots of aggressive or offensive information in television, which may have a negative impact on teenagers or children.  
  
In conclusion,there are different strengths and weaknesses in books,radio and television .Within these tools,television can deliver information most effectively.
Tinawu, please remember that you are being scored on the method that you write the essay. As such, you must always deliver the required elements, one of which is the 3 sentence minimum per paragraph. In your opening statement, you missed that requirement by one sentence. That sentence should have indicated the 3 choices that you will be discussing in the body paragraph. The reason you needed to indicate that is simple, it would have completed the paraphrased discussion and outline of your essay. That is the chronological discussion of the essay topic that the reader should expect. Without it, the reader is left guessing as to what to expect of your discussion.  
  
You will also score better if you develop only one topic for discussion per outline. That is because you are scored on coherence and cohesiveness. These factors cannot be achieved when you discuss more than one reason per paragraph. The lack of achievement is because you will not be able to fully explain your reasons due to the 5 sentence maximum requirement. Instead, the paragraph will look unprofessional / non-academic because the discussion is skipping around.  
  
The concluding paragraph of your essay can also use further development in terms of properly restating the discussion you have on the topic and providing a 3-5 sentence wrap up of the choices and reasons behind your choices.
The bar chart illustrates eight kinds of driving purpose (courses, visiting town, bank, running errands, visiting friends, recreation, work and shopping) divided by males and females in the year of 2005.  
  
## Why people need vehicles

  
  
Overall, work was mainly purpose of car trips in comparison to otherwise. By contrast, bank, running errands and visiting friends were the lower driving purpose for men in term to women were visiting town and recreation. Besides, except for work ,shopping and recreation, the other usages of car were almost less than 10% either men or women.  
  
There was a significant usage of car for work by men about 50% as opposed to about 5% for bank and running errands respectively. Besides, the driving purpose of visiting town, recreation and work were much more than women.  
  
Similarly, the driving purpose of work was the most usage of women approximately 40% in comparison to visiting town which was almost less than 5%.  
  
*
Ren, the first problem with your essay is that you used a parenthesis to list the graph topics. You should not use a parenthesis because that listing does not help to prove your command of the English language. Instead, you should have worked on developing a sentence listing for the graph content. That way you would have had a chance to better highlight your English writing skills. Now, the bar graph shows percentage points for each classification. Yet you did not use these estimations for most of the essay. Since this essay is supposed to be a summary of the information provided, the reader is expecting to read more figures as provided in the original report. As a researcher, your job is to make sure that you get the figures right in the process of informing the reader. You failed to do that in this essay. There was no strong analysis represented in this essay because you seemed afraid to make comparisons where required. The instructions said the bar chart showed information. How you discuss the essay is up to you. While this essay would be acceptable in most instances, the presentation will not help to increase your task accuracy and GRA score because you did not really try to develop more complex paragraph presentations. Please try to be more precise in your presentation of facts and figures in your next essay in order to improve your overall score. Try to write at least 3 sentences per paragraph. Whenever possible, use the actual figures and compare the information in order o show a degree of analytical skill in terms of your discussion.
## popularity of agricultural products in Mitchford

  
  
The graph compares the consumption of the top four types of agricultural products in Mitchford over a period of 30 years.  
  
As an overall, cotton was by far the most important produce contributing to the Mitchford economy due to its increased demand between 1980 to 1990. The production of wheat, corn and sugar were comparable and remained relatively constant over the period shown.  
  
In 1970, wheat was the main produce making just under 50 thousand dollars for the city. During the same period, the money which came from corn and sugar produce were comparable with 25 and 30 thousand dollars respectively. However, cotton provided a negligible amount of 20 thousand dollars and just one year later, cotton overtook wheat in making a contribution to Mitchford agriculture.  
  
From 1970 to 1990, this city saw a considerable increase in cotton consumption until it reached a peak of 90 thousand dollars. The figure for corn fluctuated slightly and stabilised for the rest of the period. In the early 2000, the production of sugar, wheat and cotton were equal and tended to decrease since then. While cotton production fell roughly again to 20 thousand dollars and was likely to follow this trend, the other three ones varied slightly and may go up after that.  
  
*