dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
**Governments should make more effort to promote alternative sources of energy.  
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?  
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.  
Write at least 250 words**  
  
Government as the key policy maker in the country should pay more attention to the encouragement in altering the energy resources to be more eco-friendly. I frankly agree to opine that the promotion of alternative energy should be improved as the government are the central attention of the citizens as well as the environment now becomes vulnerable due to the state of global warming.  
  
To begin with, when the government support more on the energy resource changes, this condition will dramatically raise the citizen awareness, either civil or notable people. Societies tend to obey more on the obligation that their authority have designed. Therefore, the alternative-energy campaign will be more effective and valuable to succeed. For instance, when the United States of America and China, as the biggest greenhouse gases emitters, officially ratified the Paris Climate Change Agreement in September 2016, it will be the proof that government show the leadership and lead by example.  
  
By the ruler promotions, the tendency of the energy consumption will move to the other sectors that generally decrease myriad pollutions from dumping waste or producing fumes. The ecology needs more attention in terms of the high-level of fossil energy having deteriorated the nature condition. That the government, for example, try to cut the use of coal for industries and give the choices to move on the gas energy triggers a new trend for many companies to convert their power source to be safer for the ecosystem.  
  
To conclude, I do believe that the support from the authority to undertake the energy alteration will rather be highlighted by the general public and this action will overcome the adverse impact of climate change.
Hello Rizaldo,  
I do like to read your essay. lemme give you some suggestion  
  
... should be improved as the government(s) are the central attention...  
  
To begin with, when the government support [...] be more effective and valuable to succeed.(what is the relationship between support for the energy resource changes and to obey more on obligation? I think you have to deepen your explanation, make it clear and connect) .  
  
.., as the biggest greenhouse gases emitters, officially ratified the Paris Climate Change Agreement in September 2016, it will be the proof that government show the leadership and lead by example . (I think you can add the result of agreement, so it makes your statement stronger)  
  
.., try to cut the use of coal for industries and give the choices to ... (how to cut the uses of coal? by regulation maybe. you can sharpen your example by using 5W 1 H) .  
  
Overall you've done great.  
Good luck and keep writing :)
Hi Rizaldo, first of all WELCOME to the Essay Forum Team, we hope that you find this website to be helpful and even more so, valuable to your writing projects, we aim to provide you with the mot accurate and constructive feedback that will help strengthen you essay, in time for submission.  
  
Having said that, I would like to share a few inputs on the last part of your essay.  
  
- By the ruler promotions, - did you mean "the government", when you say "ruler"?  
  
- ~~the tendency of~~ the energy consumption will move to ~~the~~  
- other sectors that generally decrease a myriad  
- energy having deteriorated with the natures condition.  
- ~~That the government, for example,~~The government  
- energy that triggers a new trend  
  
There you have it Rizaldo, I hope the above remarks are helpful to your revision and overall, you have made your point on this essay, you made sure that your essay has answered the prompt and you have exhausted clarity in conveying your ideas.
**Government should make more effort to promote alternative sources of energy. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for you answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.**  
  
The majority of people state that the authority is required to create publicity for familiarizing renewable sources of energy. I, therefore, agree with the statement that foster another resources will carry a large number of upsides.  
  
On the one hand. Firstly, the non-renewable energy such as fuels, coal petroleum, and natural gas will disappear someday. It needs thousand of years to be reproduced. In order to meet human's needs, people are compulsory to move to another resource which could be renewable. Secondly, the alternative resources would be more economical because those could be generated themselves. Afterward, these would be more accessible also for those who not have the chance early. In addition, the renewable energy is more friendly environment which helps to diminish pollution and greenhouse.  
  
Furthermore, alternative resources such sunlight, the wind, and rain would meet people's needs who live in remote areas or rural regions since these relatively easy to obtain. Even it needs sophisticated facilities such as solar cell but the benefits outweigh its investment. For example: in 2012, Chinese government built 100 solar power in Chinua region to fulfill society's needs especially electricity. After implementing this idea, Chinua society's life become better and solar power carries a lot of benefits such as job opportunities, better infrastructure, and current electricity.  
  
In conclusion, I completely agree that the publicity of the alternative resources should be executed by the government because it brings positive consequences outweigh its drawbacks. Personally, I am fear that there is no scarcity resources could be utilized due to its limitation.  
  
**Note: Don't be hesitate to give any constructive comments**
Hello abraham,  
I do like read your essay  
You have done great, yet let me give you some suggestion  
  
==> ... authority is required to create publicity for~~familiarizing~~ (familiarising) renewable sources of energy.  
... that foster another resource~~s~~ will carry a large number of upsides(you can exacerbate your statement by adding support words, ie. especially to overcome global warming--> makes your statement getting stronger)  
  
==>On the one hand. Firstly, the non-renewable energy ...  
Afterward(s), these would be more accessible ... . (You have given several intense benefits of alternative energy, yet from the former to the latter, you haven't given at least one real example and also the result of your instance)  
  
==> ... solar power in Chinua region to fulfil~~l~~ society's needs especially electricity. After implementing this idea, Chinua society's life... (your statement clearly show up, you should have to make the paragraph before as clear as this passage)  
  
==> In conclusion, (...) could be utili~~z~~ (s)ed due to its limitation.  
  
Good luck and keep writing :)
Hi Lincoln, below is my take on your essay.  
  
- The majority of people state that the authority - when you say "authority" who are they?  
  
- is required to create publicity ~~for familiarizing~~to learn about renewable sources of energy.  
- I~~, therefore,~~ agree with the statement  
- that, to foster another resources will  
- carry a ~~large number of upsides~~huge advantage .  
  
- On the one hand~~. Firstly~~ , the non-renewable  
- gas will ~~disappear someday~~run out one day .  
- It needs thousands of years to be reproduced.  
- In order to meet ~~human's~~peoples needs,  
- ~~people are~~it is compulsory to move to  
- because ~~those could be generated themselves~~it is self generating .  
- ~~Afterward, these~~These would be more  
- accessible ~~also~~ for those who did not have the chance ~~early~~ .  
- In addition, ~~the~~ renewable energy is ~~more friendly~~ environmentally friendly which helps to diminish  
  
There you have it Lincoln, I hope the above remarks make it to your revision.
Ielts writing TASK 2 - Problems in grammar and words usage  
  
**IN some countries young people have little leisure time and are under a lot of pressure to work hard In their studies.  
  
What do you think are the causes of this/ What solutions can you suggest.**  
  
I will be happy, to point out - where are my mistakes and if possible to give me sample IELTS BOND!  
  
Nowadays, we live in a highly competitive world, crammed with many challenges and obstacles. Our kids live in the same world, and with the increase of the pressure to have better grades and to study more, their free time have shrinked a lot in the recent years. In my opinion, they are two main reasons, behind this situation. First, they spend a lot of time in studying for subjects, that they are not interest in, and second the exceeding fear of receiving lower grades.  
  
We all have attended school and after graduating, we can easily conclude, we have studied, so many unpractical lessons, which will never come in hand. Even though, it is useful to know the basics in many different areas, I think our studies need to be concentrated in areas, which we really enjoy, and are truly interesting for us. This approach will have a couple of positives in compared to the old one. First, with fewer subjects to study for, students will have more free time on their hands. Second, it will reduce the pressure on them, by making the study process more enjoyable.  
  
During our student years, we had been teaching to be afraid from making mistakes. We were made to believe, that if we failed at the test or received a lower grade, we will never going to find ourselves a proper job or just be unemployed for the rest of our lives. Later we understand that this was not responding to the truth, but in order to resolve this problem, weed to make few adjustments in the education system. First we need to explain, that the good grades do not guarantee a successful life, as for the lower grades do not always determine you will fail in life. Moreover, if we give them the freedom, to determine their own future path, we will make their life a lot happier and easier.  
  
At the end of the day, I think our children deserve more freedom to assemble what they really want to learn and how much time they will spend in studying. If we give them, this kind of environment to live in - we will see how they will experience lower stress rates and will have more free time
Hi Ivan, I believe this is the first time I'm going to review your essay and for starters, we may not be able to provide you with the IELTS band that you hoped for, however, here's what I can say, I believe you made and created a well managed essay, you used words that are very easy to comprehend and this is very good specially when it comes to understanding the essay.  
  
Having said that, what is noticeable in the essay is also the fact that you made sure that the essay is very relevant to todays world and of significant importance too. Moreover, the logical sequence of the ideas are well incorporated to the essay.  
  
Now, I have a few suggestions on your concluding part.  
  
... to live in - we will ~~see how they will experience lower stress rates and will have more free time~~be able to determine how they can be relieved from stress and enjoy life.  
  
There you have it Ivan, I hope the above remarks helped and should you need further assistance, do let us know and we will be able to help.
**Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary schools rather than secondary school.  
Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?**  
  
People have different views regarding the best age to learn new languages. There are many people believe that students at primary schools should start learning other languanges and should not wait till secondary school. However, this view may bring some advantages along with some disadvantages. This essay will further discuss if include foreign language study to the primary stages is beneficial and if disadvantages may occur in the later stages.  
  
On the one hand, picking up a foreign language enables children to develop a better foundation in a foreign language. They are more likely to speak it more confidently in front of the crowds. It is evident that children who learn a new language tend to make fewer mistakes in writing an essay. To mention that, they will have the ability to express things more clearly as they have a better vocabulary than those who start late. In addition, they may come across with foreign cultures when learning a foreign language. By knowing the culture of others, they may not facing the cultural shock and able to adapt well when staying in other countries for the purpose like studying. Obviously, they are become more knowledgeable and more open-minded which help them to look at a specific issue from different perspectives.  
  
On the other hand, graders studying only three or four years in the school even at that moment do not properly concentrate on the lessons. It could be difficult to push children to learn something else besides their curriculum subjects. For instance, my little brother always wants to play, even if there are loose ends. In addition, students of a primary school firstly should learn the fundamentals of exact science such as Mathematics and Physics. Otherwise, they might not understand them later. Furthermore, if a student does not know his native language perfectly, it is useless to learn a foreign dialect for him.  
  
In conclusion, I believe that teaching a foreign language would be more appropriate at primary level as its advantages clearly outweigh its disadvantages.
Dear Vina,  
Hope you enjoy your night, yet lemme give you some suggestions  
  
==> ... should start learning other langua~~n~~ ges and should not ...  
==> However, this view may bring [...] disadvantages may occur in the later stages(you have mentioned this statement previously, I think you can straight to the point by reducing this sentence or mix both of sentence).  
  
==> On the one hand, picking up a foreign ... They are more likely to speak it more confidently ...(I didn't get the relation between the first sentence and the further, perhaps you may strengthen your explanation by connecting both of sentences)  
  
==> .., they may not ~~facing~~(face) the cultural shock and able to (...) purpose like (such as) studying.  
==>Obviously, they become more knowledgeable and more open-minded which ... (You have mentioned your idea and the explanation but there is no example, you have to add at least one heavy example)  
  
==> On the other hand, graders studying only three or four years in the school (school? which level? primary or secondary school?) even at that moment do not ...  
  
==> .., even if there are loose ends (you may complete your instance by using 5W 1 H, definitely, you already were known).  
==> ... his native language perfectly, it is useless to learn a foreign dialect for him (what does it mean? students must be well known about their native language automatically, and what's the matter with a foreign dialect? it's possible to give more explanation or exacerbate your statement)  
  
==> In conclusion, I believe that teaching a foreign language would be more appropriate at primary ... (you've done great, you have declared clearly. still, you can add support conclusion such as an advice, due to the benefits, government may force primary school gain a foreign language as a subject)  
  
Good luck and keep writing vin :)
Hi Goldvina, please find a few additional suggestions below;  
  
- On the other hand, ~~graders~~students studying  
- only three or four years in ~~the~~ school even at  
- that moment does not properly  
- else besides their curriculum ~~subjects~~( curriculum / subjects - this words are synonymous to each other so you have to choose and not use both of them in a sentence ) .  
  
- ... wants to play, even if there are loose ends.( what do you mean by this sentence? )  
  
- In addition, students of a primary school ~~firstly~~ should  
- to learn a foreign ~~dialect~~language for him.  
  
There you have it Goldvina, overall, the essay is managed well, however, there are a few instances that you translate the ideas literally and the end result is a complicated sentence that may not be good or does not coincide the message you are trying to send to your readers.
The blooming of English in the modern era encourage educators to accelerate the introduction of English in the first level, in particular, in elementary school. Personally, I agree with this opinion. I will give my view with some opinions.  
  
A research in developmental psychology shows growth of childhood involving the ability of language. Because one of intelligence is language. Learning a foreign language in earliest school brings the creativity of student increase steadily. Psychologists, such as Sigmund Freud and Carl Gustave Jung, even appoint the infancy generation as a golden age in human development. If children fail get intelligence input at the childhood stage. The situation will have effect in the future.  
  
On other hands, there are some reasons why knowing foreign language is important to be instituted in the first educational level. Firstly, it can encourage the power of brain which hones the smartness. Secondly, learning the global language in elementary school create the classroom will be more fun. For instance, many students learn to identify a number of animal names with English. They also acquire to speak the title of many things in another language. This nuance produces the classroom to be not boring. Finally, certainly, the lesson of overseas language will bring them to face secondary school.  
  
In conclusion, with these arguments, I firmly believe that any immense progress when all children study English in the earliest level and they will be more confident to reach the success. In the midst of global era schools have to provide foreign language class in the primary school.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Regarding Advantages and Disadvantages  
  
In the modern era, the English has a momentaus role to hone communication ability of pupils. Some professionals claim that mastery of English encourage the student to enlarge knowledge. I firmly believe that there are more benefits than drawbacks regarding this case.  
  
For instance, the blooming of English in science field has compelled students to assimilate with the matters using English text such as books, audio videos, and articles. Most experts assess the capability of language in line with creativity. This view based on due to the capability of language can stimulate the power of right brain. If students do not reach educational language from earlier grade, so they will left behind in literacy. Publication of science in advanced century often use English rather than the other languages.  
  
However, there are merits why studying of British can be instituted in primary school. Firstly, students will be easier to comprehend textbooks using the English. For instance, the furtherance of technology provides many opportunities to acquire the English articles as well as softcopy of a book on the internet by free. Secondly, learning English since elementary school will create student be more confident to face the future.  
  
Finally, the mastery of the English will generate students easier to interact with the others in the world to exchange and share ideas.  
  
In conclusion, according to these arguments, it seems that there are strong benefits of learning English in primary school rather than secondary school. Globalization should produce school to yield foreign language class in the earliest level.
Hi Afdhel..  
Let me give some advice..  
  
In the modern era, the English has a ~~momentaus~~momentous ....  
  
~~Publication~~ of science in advanced century often uses English rather than ...  
  
... merits why studying ~~of British~~english can be instituted ...  
  
English articles as well as ~~softcopy~~ soft copy of a book ...  
  
Good Job  
I hope it is helpful..
Hi Afdhel,  
I have some advice for you  
  
- In the modern era, ~~the~~ English has a ~~momentaus~~**momentous** role to hone ...  
- ... merits why studying ~~of~~ British can be ...  
- ... many opportunities to acquire ~~the~~ English articles (...) on the internet ~~by~~**for** free  
- Finally, the mastery of ~~the~~ English will (..) to interact with ~~the~~ others in the world ...  
  
Hope it helps :)
Hi.,.Nousha  
your IELTS writing is great, you have presented and organized the ideas appropriately. however, here some advice for you in order to improve your writing in the future. practice make perfect!  
  
in the introduction, you have restated the prompt with your own words. But, the word "English" in your introduction make a sense in your writing. let's look the question: "All children should study a foreign language , starting in the earliest grades" remember that foreign language is not only English. so. if you restate/paraphrase it using English is totally inappropriate. it would be better f you paraphrase it with changing the sentence form without change the meaning.  
  
turning to first body paragraph, i can follow what do you mean and what do you want to say. However, where is the topic sentence or the main idea of your paragraph?. there are several views/opinions that unclearly state, such as "Most experts assess the capability of language in line with creativity". reread how to fully developed example.  
  
make sure how to use an article. in your essay "power of right brain" it should be "power of the right brain".  
  
there are two kinds of articles (THE, AN/A). They use to refer to specific or particular nouns  
a/an is used to change or modify non-specific or non-particular nouns.  
  
the = definite article  
  
a/an = indefinite article  
  
For example, if I say, "Let's watch the video," I mean a specific video.  
If I say, "Let's watch a video," I mean any book rather than a specific video  
  
if we look the third paragraph, you have a well-structure paragraph. using complex sentence and sequence in each sentence in order to organize your ideas. Unfortunately, it needs an explanation/supporting ideas in each idea to make it clear. in this paragraph, there is lack an example to support your explanation. in order to get an explanation of your writing, just keep asking yourself. for instance "the mastery of the English will generate students easier to interact with the others in the world to exchange and share ideas" . for an explanation, ask yourself how to master in english can make students easier to interact with others.  
  
good luck
**SUMMARRY 9 - FOR MORE TOLERANCE WE NEED MORE ........ TOURISM ?**  
  
Aziz Abu Sarah, a tourism entrepreneur and peace builder from Palestine talked about how a journey able to deliver a great impact to the peace around the globe. He believes that a travel done by tourists which leave their native country and come to a novel country that they never visit before and discover what is happening in that country, connect with people, make a relationship with the native citizen and uncover everything that cannot be read on books or cannot be found on google. This is a right mode to develop the connections within humankind in the earth. Imagine if every people have a chance to do traveling and connecting with people in the city, build a brotherhood through the different cultures, behaviors, languages and perceptions. Imagine how the community in this world will be united. This method is a perfect way, to travel, create a sustainable tourism and a sustainable way of connecting and friendship in diversity. If we can embody this long-term project to make a better life, then a case which occurred to my brother when he was 18 would never happen to other's life anymore. My brother was arrested after been suspected as the a doer who throw the stone, then he was beaten up because he did not want to admit that it was him. At the time he left the prison he was weak and passed away because of the injuries he suffered. I dedicate my self to conduct a sustainable tourism which hopefully will lead to the peace condition in the long run in the world.