dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
## select and report the main features from the graph

  
  
*The table below shows the percentage of main types of dwelling in Victoria, the Northern Territory and Tasmania . Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant*  
  
The figure illustrates the ratio of major types of residence including house, semi-attached house, flat and other in three different places throughout from 2001 to 2006. overall , the residents ' preferences for the living place in all of these areas had changed slightly by 2006, compared with the 2001 figures.  
  
Obviously, the house regularly was selected highest in three regions by residents over a period of 5 years. In Tasmania , there was a remarkable increase in in amount of house at 88% in 2001 and 2006% , compared with Victoria, the Northern Territory were decrease slightly from 79% to 76% and 65% and 63% respectively .Nevertheless, the other categories were much smaller, in semi-attached house tended to live in the Northern Territory , there was a significant drop approximately at from 13% to 15% respectively and victoria at 11% and 12% and in tasmania ocuppies 3% and 4%.  
  
Apparently, the number of flats still constructed for people live in three regions but not pay attention more than house and semi-attached house and just accounted smaller consists of 9% to 10% in victoria , 8% to 11% in the northern territory and 7% to 6% in tasmania .Finally, the other types of residence declined considerably at 1% to 2% respectively in victoria and 2% to 1% in Tasmania but the northern Territory, the other types of dwelling toward to grow up substantially approximately 14% to 11% from 2001 to 2006.  
  
*
The number of words that ended up in this essay will need 40 minutes, rather than 20 minutes to write. This report should be completed using no more than 150-200 words. Any more than that and the writer will run out of time allowance for the task 2 completion.  
  
The summary overview can use more information such as the 3 territories listed. More care should also be taken when typing the response. There was a word capitalization error in the presentation that went uncorrected.  
  
Refrain from using any words that seem to show a personal opinion (obviously, apparently) or exaggeration ( remarkable increase) as the report must remain subjective and neutral in presentation at all times. Academic tone of writing must remain consistent throughout the analysis presentation.  
  
The writer was keen to show off his analytical writing skills. He was prevented from doing so by his lack of word formation abilities in his sentences. These confusing sentences made it difficult to understand his paragraphs. Further language building and sentence development exercises should help the writer correct these problems.
***It is not necessary to travel to other places to learn about other cultures. We can learn from books, films and the Internet.***  
## To what extent do you agree or disagree?

  
  
There is a growing recognition that intercultural understanding is of tremendous importance to anyone's success amid polarized times. However, the question of how to adopt such assets remains a source of constant debate. A school of thought holds that traveling is redundant, while obtaining knowledge through other forms of media such as books, films or the Internet is far more efficient. Much as the latter approach possesses certain validity, but educational benefit of travelling is simply irreplaceable.  
  
It is understandable why people argue that acquiring cultural understanding via media is one of the most optimal methods. The key rationale is that the news from every aspect of life such as politics, cultures and entertainments all over the world are ubiquitous on the Internet, which is accessible to almost all people, especially in the light of technology advancements. For example, the flourishing of film industry contributes enormously to our aspiration of exploring both national and alien traditions, as a plethora of movies has vividly depicted the whole society and people's life of each region. Furthermore, not everyone can afford the enough time and budget for trips to different destinations, so a fertile source of online information is unarguably more cost-effective.  
  
Notwithstanding the paramount advantages of media platforms, I am convinced that travelling is a more holistic approach. In other words, one can immerse in authentic culture and gain firsthand experiences during an overseas trip, while newspapers, books or social networks sometimes can impart false messages, biased perspectives or even over-glorify image of a country, which might ingrain prejudices and misunderstandings. At the same time, there are numerous facets that are hard to visualize via verbal description or visual aids such as social conventions or standard manners. In Western lifestyle, for instance, people customarily keep a certain distance from each other when having a conversation, where as in other cultures, the closeness of physical distance is taken as a sign of mutual trust. This is a testament to the role of travelling as a catalyst that cements one's cultural knowledge.  
  
As outlined above, while the significance of media for cross-cultural acquisition is irrefutable, I believe there are several positive impacts of travelling that should be given equal consideration.
The writer has totally changed the central discussion topic by changing the topic and reasoning points in the restatement. As for the discussion response, the writer neglected to meet the discussion requirements as well. The writer did not deliver the response in the required format. In fact, the with wrote a response that created a totally different opinion response. The essay is not writing task accurate at this point. Earning a failing score in terms of English comprehension skills.  
  
The question to be responded to is :  
  
Q : To what extent do you agree or disagree?  
R : ... educational benefit of travelling is simply irreplaceable.  
  
The writer offers a response basis but does not offer a question response first. The response is inaccurate due to the incomplete response presentation. A clear opinion, based on the response format must always come before the opinion reason.  
  
Being a single point of view discussion, the writer must avoid giving a valid reason for the opposing point. An opposing discussion can only be used as a topic sentence. The writer should show why the opposing reason is invalid based on his opinion. The writer did that once, rather than twice in this discussion. Present a debate, not a supporting reason.  
  
The lack of an actual response / opinion will score down this essay. There is an implied opinion in the third paragraph, but it will not be enough to help this essay gainer a passing score due to other word usage and GRA problems in the presentation..
## Summarise the information from the charts provided

  
  
Topic:  
***The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019.  
  
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.***  
  
The given charts detail the percentages of households that have possession of electrical appliances in one country and the length of time they spend doing chore per week between 1920 and 2019.  
  
Looking from an overall perspective, the popularity of using electrical appliances has increased incredibly, especially refrigerators and vacuum cleaners in the last one hundred years. Futhermore, the total time to do housework has appeared to decline dramatically during the same period.  
  
In particular, the first linechart shows that the proportion of the ownership of washing machines was the largest in 1920 (40%) . Then this figure has fluctuated slightly around 65% and went up to reach 70% but still ranked the last at the end of the period. In contrast, almost no households has a refrigerator in 1920. However, the consumption of refrigerators surged to more than 50% by 1940 then continued to rise steadily over next 20 years to 100% in 1980 and remained until 2019.Lastly, there was nearly a third of households that possessed vacuum cleaners in 1920. After that, the number climbed moderately every 20 years and finally reached 100% in 2000.  
  
In additon, it seems the result for taking the advantage of using technology was that the time doing houseworks fell steadily from 50 hours per week in 1920 to 20 by 1960. After that, the decline was more gradual, reaching slightly above 10 hours by 2019.  
  
*
While the task only has a minimum word requirement, it is important that the writer keep the time limit in mind while writing. Since there is a 20 minute time limit, the marinem allowable word count is 200 words. The task 1 essay works on clear reporting and analysis interpretation. The writer needs to keep the report short and clear. Every paragraph needs to have between 3-5 sentences. Every sentence should be composed of 20-40 words only.  
  
When clearly and properly analyzed within requirements, the essay will accomplish far more in terms of earning the writer an overall high score. The writer does not have too much of a problem with analysis. The problem is in the presentation. Do not rely on the use of word fillers and flowery descriptions. These tend to blur the presentation by over - extending an otherwise simple and direct analysis.
Hi @Dangtoloan,  
Your essay has 233 words. If you don't use flowery descriptions, your essay may fit into the Host's standard word count of 200.  
I suggest that *"Looking from an overall perspective"* should be written shortly as *"Overall"*. Also, you shouldn't use impressive words such as*"Furthermore", "However", or "Moreover"*in IELTS Writing Task 1. These words are more appropriate in Writing Task 2 because they are more formal. Task 1 essay should focus on the analysis and not on the uncommon and impressive words like in Task 2 essay.  
  
In your third paragraph, there is a phrase:*"the consumption of refrigerators"*. I think the word *consumption* here is used quite wrong. I think you should change that into *"the number of households that own refrigerators".*  
  
Hope my feedback is useful to you.  
Bye.
## IELTS WRITING TASK 2 (OPINION)

  
  
**Topic: Some people believe that it is more important to teach children the literature of their own country than other countries. Do you agree or disagree?**  
  
In this day and age, people are becoming wiser and wiser with a wide range of knowledge available to access. Besides, it is argued educating hometown literature is more vital than that of other nations. In my own point of view, every literary field has its own values which should be considered important after all.  
  
First and foremost, it's obvious to bring native literary works into education since national values are highly appreciated. For instance, only when being taught did students entirely comprehend those literary works such as poems that comprise metaphors and precious messages. Additionally, learners can have a feeling of patriotism after gaining a deep understanding of the origin and culture of their nation. In particular, many schools have brought famous national literary works in lectures as a sign of the importance of the admiration for a country's literature.  
  
On the other hand, international literature can be equally priceless to national ones. Firstly, it's undeniable that each nation has its unique values and reflections of its specialties. The more variable cultures people access, the broader knowledge gained due to separated perspectives toward a specific aspect. Secondly, there are some foreign literary which are worldwide recognized that individuals had better appreciate them. Take the novel Don Quixote as an example of valuable literary works that tutors about the thorough thought between bravery and intelligence, the writing has been brought into many schools for educating till now.  
  
To conclude, not only does ethnic literature cover profound implications, but it also provides citizens with flag-waving. In comparison, other works still contain its inimitable prices that are considered to be grateful.
The writer did not do a very good job of interpreting the original prompt. A personal opinion launched the restatement in a manner unrelated to the original topic. Then, a somewhat confusing topic restatement followed, ending with a response unrelated to the qquestion provided. In effect, the writer failed to deliver the introduction paragraph in a manner that would have been beneficial to the task scoring.  
  
When the writer is asked if he agrees or disagrees, the response must directly provide a keyword based answer. They cue words are, " agree or disagree". choose only from the provided response choices. Do not alter the presentation response. Do not write a comparative essay when it is not directly instructed as "discuss both views" in the writing instruction. The incorrect response paragraphs and lack of related opinion presentation are what may cause a failing score for the essay. That is regardless of the other scoring considerations, which will also have score deductions that will affect the final overall score.
Hi @kimlune,  
I think Holt is right. You should write a comparative essay when the topic instructs you to *"Discuss both points of view"* or to answer the question *"To what extent do you agree or disagree?"*.  
  
With topic states directedly: *"Do you agree or disagree?":* you should give a clear answer "yes" or "no". I suggest a writing structure below:  
-**Introduction**: Introduce the topic, and give your clear answer ("yes" or "no")  
-**Main paragraph**: Points and examples to support your answer.  
-**Main paragraph**: Other points and examples to support your answer.  
-**Conclusion**: give your answer again and a brief and overall reason(this should be taken from your paragraph and not outside) why you think so.  
  
I hope my feedback is useful to you.  
Good luck with your next essay!!!
IELTS WRITING TASK 2  
  
***Topic: it is now possible for scientists and tourists to travel to natural areas such as South Pole.***  
## Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

  
  
With the advanced optimization of the modern world, discovering isolated natural places is nothing impossible for millions of scientists and tourists. Despite its considerable benefits, i strongly believe that the potential downsides would eclipse the foreseeable upsides.  
  
One of the main advantages of travelling to unpopulated areas is that these regions offer visitors ample opportunities to seek valuable experiences. While reaching tourist destinations which boast spectacular sceneries and lavish services seems fairly common, exploring wild sites including South Pole and Amazon forest allows many of them to expose to exotic natural features and phenomena of diverse habitats. As a result, this would be one of the most memorable and exhilarating journeys that tourists and scientists have ever undergone. At the same time, these remote environments could be a rewarding adventure for many inquisitive and intrepid travellers as they would have unfettered scopes to gain insights into the biodiversity of flora and fauna in primitive forests such as those in the Amazon or natural phenomena of ice in South Pole. Such knowledge may be unacquirable for common tourists, making the experience even more unique and unforgettable.  
  
Notwithstanding all that, i am convinced that certain problems resulting from this should be taken into sober account. From an objective perspective, the preparation for the exploration of these far-flung regions is demanding. Ít costs thousands of tourists and scientists, for example, a staggering amount of money to travel to south pole or amazon forest, let alone to equip themselves with various essential kits to reside in the areas for a period of time. Consequently, without meticulous calculation, those journeys would take a heavy toll on their finance. Due to what they entails, such discoveries are only affordable for financially-advantaged people. Furthermore, the process of exploring remote natural places is perilous. For instance, travellers would have to encounter attack from wild animals in the Amazon forest or suffer from the cold spell of South Pole. In addition, such environments are often bereft of services to cater for tourists and scientists. Hence, it stands to reason that many of their lives could possibly be under constant threats.  
  
In conclusion, although what isolated natural environments have to offer are an appeal to travel seekers, i think that risks that they have to incur are extremely potential.  
  
Please give a band on my essay. Thank you.
The prompt restatement and opinion response is well-developed. It makes the reader believe that the will will present an insightful discussion based on the presentation expectations. The writer actually delivers as expected in the next paragraph. The advantages discussion covered both groups as required. Sadly, this excellence did not carry through to the next paragraph. It was an alteration of the discussion instruction as provided. The writer should not have created a supporting paragraph that opposed the originally provided opinion. This is , afterall, a single opinion presentation.  
  
To create a strong A/D discussion, the writer should present a strong advantage paragraph based on an actual advantage. After that a debunking of a disadvantage as an actual advantage, and presented that way in a new paragraph , will show the analytical opinion of the writer , that falls within the response format requirement. This will ensure a TA compliant essay based on C + C considerations.  
  
\* Contact me privately for scoring services.
## kids surrounded by highly-advanced technologies

  
  
The advent of new technologies in our life has led to changes in young children's recreational activities. In my viewpoint, adolescents spend their spare time entertaining via highly-advanced technologies that always have positives and negatives.  
  
It is undeniable that the appearance of smart devices has brought significant benefits to teenagers. One of the main strengths is that it has a visual and engaging interface and simulations which have lively illustrations and colorful animations, so gadgets can help young adults promote imagination and creativity inside. Just with a click of the mouse or a touch on a screen, all animations, colors, sounds and video footages from television programs, or phone applications can appear before children's eyes, so it will support teenagers to imagine the world better. For specific illustration, children can see how animals move or even how rain water falls from the sky which are livelier and more vibrantly than unanimated books. Another advantage is young adult s can learn while playing. For example, younger children from 2 to 5 years old can learn about shapes, colors and the alphabets through interactive apps on smartphones which are attractive and engaging, so they can understand faster and more easily. Moreover, with teenagers from 6 to 10 years old, they can allocate time to play computer games, from that children can gain computer literacy at a young age. Digital games not only help young students relax and relieve stress after overwhelmed lessons at school but also teach them about basic computer's skills such as operating a computer or internet-connected devices, even coding or designing and using digital software. Many of these skills are essential in the era 4.0.  
  
On the other hand, there are some drawbacks when using electronic applications. As entertaining programs and apps are extremely attractive, children are more likely to be engrossed in those pastimes and spend less time on physical and outdoor activities leading to a passive lifestyle. Instead of running or doing exercises and playing sports, young children use most of their leisure time to sit and lie on the bed in order to watch and listen to what they are interested in, as a consequence, is gradually developed, making adolescents vulnerable to obesity and diabetes. In addition, modern devices cause deterioration of eyesight, because long term exposure to blue light from digital screens is harmful for their eyes. It has led to many more young adults starting to develop nearsightedness and need to wear glasses.  
  
To sum up, children can spend their free time relaxing by using smart devices because of its benefits above, but needing permission from their parents about the amount of time in order not to have problems about health's aspects.
The discussion topic is clearly a single opinion essay as it asks a single opinion response question: "Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? " The response requirement does not allow for a comparative response or a response that says both sides have valid points (always have positives and negatives.). It shows that the writer did not know how to properly respond to the question. There is no clear opinion provided based on the instructions and choices provided. The presented answer is not related to the task.  
  
The response presented here is not appropriate for the discussion as it does not state a negative as a positive or vice - versa, which is the expected response format. The essay has presented a non-response to the question. It does not apply to the prompt requirements.
## The bar chart below shows the numbers of students who chose certain university subjects in 2005

  
***Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.***  
  
ANSWER:  
This bar graph illustrates that various subjects in university which were selected by undergraduates in 2005.  
Overall, Science and Mathematics were favorite subjects of male students in 2005. By contrast, female chose less technical subjects so Social sciences and Languages were the most popular among female students.  
  
According to the graph, the number of male students with choosing figures ranged from the highest number of just over 20 thousand to the lowest number of about 2 thousand, a difference of around 18 thousand. Science, Math and Literature were their favorite subjects.  
  
Social sciences and Languages were chosen by female the best with the figures nearly 25 thousand and under 20 thousand. This two subjects had more female choosing figures than male students. The other subjects such as Science, Math, Literature and Law, women selected them lower than men. For Humanities, both the number of male and female were the same, just over 10 thousand.  
  
(154 words)  
  
*
The essay is strong when seen from a data delivery point of new. The information is truly direct to the point and informative. Half the task requirement was addressed in the presentation. This is why the report is also too short in word presentation. 154 words meets the minimum word count requirement to avoid word count deductions. It does not help the writer meet the actual scoring considerations for the rubic though. Consider the scoring criteria for each section and the lack of scoring representation will be seen.  
  
A task 1 essay of full scoring consideration must be completely developed within 175-200 words. This allows the writer to fully depict an analepis of the data, with more intricate comparisons and sentence formations present for a maximum scoring opportunity. This essay limits the possible final score due to its short and less than critical analysis presentation.