dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
The main problem that you have with this writing is the word count and your approach to the discussion. For one thing, you mistakenly believed that you need to do a complete and thorough discussion of the given topic, complete with information sources and citations. You do not. You wrote almost 500 words. You do not have to do that. You are over discussing what should be a simple presentation of 5 sentences per paragraph for the 4 paragraph format. For the task 2 essay, you need to KISS it. Keep It Simple Sam!  
  
Let's start with the basics. The prompt restatement + opinion. You need to use a simple single sentence to restate the original topic, without actually discussing it yet. The same goes for your opinion. Give your opinion and 2 reasons why. These will be the reasoning paragraph foundations for the 2 upcoming paragraphs. Total - 3 sentences (at the most).  
  
Do not overdo the discussion reasons in the presentation. Use simple logic, personal experience, and any public knowledge you may have come across before. Do not research and use actual data because that is not what this test is about. The test is based on your ability for logic and reasoning when presented with a simple problem discussion. It is not a research paper, thesis, or dissertation. That is why the word limit is 300 and the time allotment for wiritng is only 40 minutes, with only 30 minutes used for actual writing. The remaining 10 minutes will be for correcting and polishing your paper.  
  
I often tell the students here the same advice I will be giving you now. Learn to use concise sentence and paragraph presentations. Say it all within 5 simple and short sentences. It does not have to be perfect. You are not scored in the validity of your argument. There are no right or wrong answers, there is no need to factual data. What is required, is a clear presentation of your English comprehension skills, your ability to explain yourself as you would during a class recitation, and your talent for doing so quickly in an understandable manner. Nothing else matters.  
  
So, while you presented an excellent academic paper here, you did not really write a paper that would help you pass a task 2 essay exam.
## CHAPTER 4 : BOOK REVIEW: Predictably Irrational

  
  
In an experiment, there are two groups. One gets paid and one gets asked, they are doing the same job of cleaning and sharpening a dull piece of blade. And guess what happened next? Normally the group that gets paid will get to do a better job because they got paid. However, the result is opposite of what we usually expect, the group got asked to help do a better job. Even the experiment was repeated a few times with different people to make sure that the group that got asked didn't have any master of cleaning or sharpening blade but the result is still the same. So how did this happen? All was explained in detail as predictably irrational.  
  
What people usually think is that when people get paid they will try to do their best, and when people get asked they just do it because they can. However, this usually went the whole way around. This is explained because when people get paid they will see it as something they now have to do and they cannot run from it. So our brain automatically doesn't like this and makes us do it just to finish it. And the people who get asked to do something, if they accept it then their brain already thinks they need to do their best and they will enjoy it rather than taking it easy. Even this only happens when you do something that is normal, not what you will usually enjoy like asking to play a game. But this can also improve a lot of things in your life.  
  
One thing that people never want to get money for is when their acquaintances try to be nice with them. For example, your son who has been studying abroad for several years and today they will meet each other again. The son will usually try to express the love he gives to his family in many ways. One of them can be he will take the family to a fancy dinner. When other people hear this they will think this is a good boy who loves his family a lot which he actually is. However, this will make his family not get too good of an impression because what they actually get is money from the dinner because the son is paying for them. Even this dinner can be very cozy and full of happiness. Just a simple card with enthusiasm and giving it to his family will be a lot better. Because this is nothing related to money and it is more of his effort and they will respect more of it.  
  
In conclusion, this was an amazing chapter telling us more knowledge about the cost of money. Even money is the best currency to give and receive but sometimes it can ruin a mood of happiness. So read this book and find more about the knowledge of irrational.
When a book review is written, it is done so from a third person point of view. It also avoids soundling like it was written by a grade school student talking about what he did last summer. This review totally misses on the academic representation and tone of the chapter. It sounds like it was written by a 3rd grader rather than a college student.  
  
Since this is a chapter review of a book that is being continously read, the first thing the writer has to do is connect the previous chapters to this one, indicating why it is a logical next step in the line of study. Reporting in the importance of this chapter in relation to learning will help. The experimentation must definitely be reviewed, from a professional stand point (rather than a gradeschooler point of view) to help add to the importance of the chapter. A scientific approach to the chapter is required to create a more convincing chapter review for the professor to grade.
**This is my IELTS writing asignment for today. Please check and leave comments. Thank you so much.**  
**Rubric:  
*Most medical doctors want to work in cities where they will make a lot of money.  
Yet in many rural areas there are not enough doctors.***  
## What are the reasons for this problem? How can it be solved?

  
  
**My essay:**  
Nowadays, it can be seen clearly that a large number of medical doctors prefer to work in urban areas to earn money. Meanwhile, in many remote areas, there is a deficiency in the number of doctors. This issue happen due to many elements, and there are several measure could be taken to deal with it.  
  
The proliferation of doctors' preference to work in cites is caused due to some reasons. To begin with, it is true that being a doctor in urban area gives doctors more advantages. There are more people in cities who worry about their health, which means there are more chances for doctors to earn money. For example, my sister works in a hospital in my city center, which is always crowded with patients. Second, it is more easy for doctors to attain their prestige in modern city than in rural area. The more prestigious the doctor is, the more money he or she gets.  
  
This problems can be tackled by several measures. First, governments should arrange where doctors work. This can be done by providing optional financial aid to medical students, on condition that they will work in certain places arranged by governments. Another measure is giving doctors in rural areas more support. This can be done by raising their salary, as well as providing them and their family some special services, such as pension for their parents and lower tuition fee for their children.  
  
In conclusion, the vast majority of doctors now want to work in cities due to several reasons, and measures need to be taken to cope with this problem.
Good work on the prompt restatement aspect. However, your opinion response is failing. Due to the direct question requirements of the original prompt, your response cannot be a mere restatement of the questions provided. Rather, you are expected to respond using simple response questions that clearly show your logical thinking abilities and simple reasoning skills. Each question presented therefore, needs to have a clear response sentence based on what you wish to discuss as the topic of each reasoning paragraph. One topic in response to each question, expanded in the body of paragraphs within one paragraph each as well.  
  
[~~quote=penguinwannafly]The proliferation of doctors' preference to work in cites is caused due to some reasons.[/quote]~~  
  
This problems can be tackled by several measures.  
Use a topic sentence to anchor this opening statement. Clearly indicate your response to the question. Do not leave that for the second sentence. The examiner expects you to not have any use for word count fillers such as nonsensical sentences that do not move your response forward. Stop repeating the prompt instructions. These do not help increase your score, but could very well lower your score due to certain scoring elements that fail because of the non-answer sentences.  
  
The reasoning paragraphs tend to be less developed because you present secondary reasons that do not directly relate to the first reason. These secondary reasons are mentioned, but not explained nor developed further in connection to the previous presentation.Hence creating under developed paragraph presentations.  
  
Overall, you know what you have to present to score better. You just seem afraid to fully discuss your thoughts so you rely on empty sentences and under explained topics for your presentation., Avoid those presentation shortcomings and your score should improve.
## Writing about Bioplastics

  
  
The first known plastic is known as bakelite. It was first developed by Baekeland in 1907. Plastics are known to be lightweight, durable, and can be molded into any shape. According to Geyer, Jambeck, et al. (2017), plastics have been produced about 8.3 billion metric tons since its invention. Bioplastic materials are estimated to supply and gradually replace some fossil oil-based materials in the upcoming decades (Harnkarnsujarit, 2021). Through this, the food packaging has been increasingly significant in the food industry as innovations in functionality are aiming for convenience. Many efforts have been made in order to create starch-based polymers to save petrochemical resources and reduce environmental effect. The introduction of biodegradable polymers are possible canditate for food packaging as polymers that can decompose into CO2, CH4, H2O, inorganic chemicals, or biomass, primarily by the enzymatic action of microorganisms (Folino, et al. 2020). As studied by Arkan and Bilgen (2019), they discovered that the use of bioplastic made from potato peel bioplastic proved to be effective. Potato peel bioplastic has a greater capability for water absorption than commercial bioplastics resulting to be potentially used as a packing material.
When you review related literature, you do not cite these informations ources as if you were writing the introduction or a paragraph in your regular essay. Rather, you present your understanding of the written work of the author, individually. You explain the content of the book by using a proper literature review format, the style of which you can find from many online sources. The only requirement from you, as the writer, is to properly summaruze the content of the literature, without discussing how it relates to your discussion. However, you must mention the relevance of the literature to the topic of plastics and what makes the author of the piece a notable figure or authority on the subject of plastics.  
  
Right now, this sounds more like you only summarized citations from within the work of the various authors, rather than reviewing the literature based on an actual reading and understanding of each person's work. For a literature review, think about what makes the work good or bad, then review it on that basis. What do you agree with? Why? Why not? What debate does it respond to? Does it do so effectively? How? These are but some of the revirew questions you can consider as you develop your literature review per author.
## IELTS WRITING TASK 2 about television

  
Some people think that the purpose of TV news programs is to entertain viewers. Others believe that news programs should be educational and informative. What do you think the purpose of TV news programs is? Discuss both views and support your opinion with reasons and examples.  
  
The argument around the notion of the way television programs appear to the audiences with educational program and real information, which should be a priority over recreational purpose, is a debatable issue. Personally, though many entertaining programs have its own benefit to some extent, the meaning of educating people, with factual news, which bring viewers much more valuable data, should be made as an ultimate purpose for televisions in informative transmission. In this essay, I am going to give reasons and related examples upon this opinion.  
  
People who support the idea of TV producers should broadcast more programs for entertaining and even make it pervasive among audiences, may point out that many programs like game shows, comedies,... is fascinating and completely fulfill their sense of relaxation. The reason is the recreational factors of one program can have positive contributions to them in some cases, easing tensions for those who are under stress. Comedies, for instance, might bring temporary happiness by its funny plot, making people feel free to have optimistic emotions.  
  
Nevertheless, the aim of educating people, especially teenagers, and the need to receive accurate information have turned the purpose of TVs to the significant one, which fully outweighs the objective of entertainment. It is said that because these funny programs, in fact, show a sole advantage of entertainment and seems to be no contributions to personal development, while educational programs can fulfill it. Scientific programs is the best example, which appreciably convey specific insights for students and help them in cultivation of knowledge. Furthermore, the demand for approaching precise news through an explicit illustration have increased remarkably in this turbulent period. As a consequence, the exposure to up-to-date information helps people to perceive the ongoing events in the globe, making them realise the influences of those news, in which can raise awareness among the society in all aspects of life.  
  
In conclusion, although the contributions of recreational programs cannot be denied, TVs producers should focus more on educating people and broadcasting accurately informative news, which will create more benefits in the long run.
Based on the confusing discussion approach to the topic provided, I believe that you created your own discussion series / questions based on the given topic. There is no way that a Task 2 essay prompt will be this confusing. As per our task 2 prompt records, the correct prompt for this essay is:  
  
*Some people say that television is useful in education, while others say it is useful only for entertainment. Do you agree or disagree?*  
  
A task 2 essay prompt is simple, direct, and contains only one discussion format. You have 2 different discussion formats presented that will go beyond the 5 paragraph discussion format for this task.  
  
Prompt 1: What do you think the purpose of TV news programs is? This is a complete discussion question itself covering 2 reasoning paragraphs. No additional instructions are provided to this type of prompt.  
  
Prompt 2: Discuss both views and support your opinion with reasons and examples. This is a seperate prompt that is discussed over 5 paragraphs (3 reasoning paragraphs).  
  
Due to the incorrect and confusing prompt and discussion approach, I cannot properly review this essay. It is unscorable as well. An estimate as to whether you will pass or fail cannot be provided due to the confusing discussion instructions.  
  
Come back with a correct Task 2 essay question and discussion, then I will review and assess your possibility of passing the test.
You have a diverse word choice as I could find lots of synonyms in your essay.  
I think that the two first paragraphs are extremely good, as, in the opening, you actually have an amazing paraphrase, while in the second paragraph, you totally give the public opinion about the recreational programs, not including your view of point.  
  
In the third paragraph, there is a confusing problem, as you add your perspective here, from which should be totally separated into a new paragraph. Try to rewrite it, and I think your essay would get a high score
Hello everyone! I would be really thankful if you guys could have some feedback and/or an average grade loosely based on IELTS criteria on my response to the following IELTS Task 2:  
  
***Some people believe that children should be banned from using their phones during the school day. Others believe that children should be allowed to use their phones.  
  
## Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.***  
  
*My response:*  
  
In today's world of readily available technological gadgets, children's ownership of smartphones is skyrocketing and, inevitably, leading to their widespread usage on campus. This has raised the alarm for many concerning parents as well as teachers and, thus, fortifying the growing concensus on banning children phones during school time. Despite cellphones's apparent usefulness, I still side with the opinion that it is necessary to implement a soft, appropriate ban on children usage of cellphones in classes.  
  
On the one hand, we do need to acknowledge the undeniable benefits of smart devices in children's lives. At school, if used properly and wisely, smartphones and tablets can be an innovative, useful assistant for children. For example, a usually boring history class might be much more entertaining and captivating if children, in accordance with their teachers' lesson plan, can use their personal phones to play interactive quizz games about history on cloud platforms. Furthermore, cellphones, even obsolete ones, might become essential in connecting children to their parents in emergency situations. This is becoming increasingly true in light of more frequent school shootings, especially in the US.  
  
On the other hand, the unregulated rapid development of addictive social media and fake news is an alarming reason to ban smartphones during school day. Children, a vulnerable and immature part of our society, might be exposed to harmful social network addiction and fake news if left unsupervised. Moreover, in a school setting, uncontrolled usage of cellphones will distract students from their classes and negetively affect their education. Last but not least, when educational institutions flexibly and appropriately implement a soft ban on cellphones, this will not prohibit children from using their mobile devices in case of emergency. Therefore, such versatile approach will not only negate smartphones' drawbacks but also garner their benefits.  
  
In conclusion, while smartphones are undoubtedly of such vital importance in children's modern lives, I still believe that it is necessary for schools to flexibly and properly limit their usage during school time, as such soft ban will reduce electronic gadgets worst's effects on children while still promoting their good uses.  
  
*Thank you!*
What did you do in the prompt restatement? You changed the discussion foundation so much, the topic you present no longer represents the original framework. It does not even come close. It changes the sources of information, and the basis of discussion. There is nothing accurate about your promopt restatement nor your opinion. This incorrect task representation alone is enough to garner a failing score for the full essay. Why is that? You will be unable to prove that you understood the topic as per the original, and your discussion is also based on an incorrect reference because of it.  
  
The discussion is totally from a first person point of view where you were asked to compare and contrast the two public opinions, and then present your own opinion regarding the topic. You have not managed to meet the prompt requirements in relation to scoring requirements at this point. The essay is a complete failure when the discussion topic and duscussion format are seriously considered.
## English as a global language

  
  
In today's world, it is an undeniable fact that English is now spreading as an international language. Some people believe that the benefits outweigh its drawbacks while others dispute that it still has significant disadvantages. I completely agree with the former statement and here are some reasons why.  
  
Firstly, English is a common language to facilitate communication. As United States is currently one of the most developed country in the world, it is indisputable to say that English is the main language everyone would choose to speak when they do business with foreign partners without any assistance of interpreters. Especially when traveling, English is the useful language for everyone who love to explore different exotic cultures.  
  
Nowadays, most schools are added English as an academic subject that students have to learn. So the advantage is that English can facilitate the transfer of knowledge. Documents and learning materials written in English are widespread access. Moreover, English can help with knowledge transfer technological advances from affluent nations to developing countries.  
  
However, some people say that the dominance of English as a global language has its negative effect. English would demise ethnic minority languages which lead to the loss of cultural diversity. In my opinion, the spread of English as a universal language does not necessarily entail the disappearance of other minority languages since people tend to use English in formal contexts which in academic environment and their mother tongue in formal contexts like at home or communicate with friends.  
  
In conclusion, the development of English is a positive global trend. I strongly believe that English will support the communication system of every nation and makes the demerits less significant.
Some people believe that the benefits outweigh its drawbacks while others dispute that it still has significant disadvantages.  
There is no reference to dual opinions regarding the topic in the original prompt. The fact that you misrepresented the original prompt by creating 2 public opinions, rather than just restating the single original topic will lead to a failed prompt restatement score. It will be a failure because you changed the original discussion topic basis. This failure will have a direct effect on the overall score of the essay, regardless of the appropriateness of your opinion statement.  
  
However, some people say that the dominance of English as a global language has its negative effect.  
This is a paragraph that will not be scored because it does not support the writer's opinion. Additional deductions will be applied since you are discussing a topic that does not factor into the original discussion presentation. I am afraid that this essay presentation may find it difficult to get even a barely passing score because of the prompt deviations you have created.