dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
***IELTS topic:  
Spoken communication is always more powerful than written communication.  
## To what extent do you agree or disagree?***  
  
Whether communication through word by mouth or written language is more vital has always been a topic of controversy. While it is believed that spoken language is more versatile, I constantly disagree with this perspective.  
  
In this modern day and age, it is understandable as to why some people have a preference for spoken communication over written. The first justification is that word by mouth is fast and instant. It can be used for daily circumstances when people communicate with each other freely and randomly, at any time, anywhere. Furthermore, as this language has been transforming through time, it becomes more versatile and contains more up-to-date slangs, grammar relevant to specific trends, destinations, people,... which makes it easier to be used by multiple age groups.  
  
Notwithstanding the certain merits of spoken communication, I embrace the idea that written communication plays a more integral role in everyday's life. To commence with, since it takes a great amount of time to complete a simple written work, the paragraphs are arranged in a logical and systematic way. Consequently, the readers should have no issue in understanding the writer's idea and they can easily make personal feedback based on what was written. The subsequent reason is that written works can be preserved intactly through years without losing their initial value. In detail, excavated books which were written hundred years ago, with the help of modern technology restoration, are still beneficial these days. Without these historical relics, there would be no tremendous scientific research for humankind to continue involving.  
  
Back to the drawing board, I am strongly in favor of the perspective that written communication has a stronger influence on the society as a whole than spoken language and it should not be replaced by spoken language in the near future.
controversy  
Not a controversy. This has always been a topic for discussion. Avoid using sensationalist terms as these do not ever apply to an academic discussion, which you are writing about. Lower LR scores are provided for use of words out of meaning as based on the original presentation. TA deductions apply as well for discussion reference alterations.  
  
constantly disagree  
Constant or constantly is not a degree of measurement as implied by the instruction. Rather, it is a deque of movement or a state of action. The word is mis-referenced in the response sentence.  
  
\* Student is displaying LR errors that will cause significant deductions later on.  
  
,...  
One punctuation mark at a time. English grammar villa are very clear about the one punctuation mark usage.There needs to be a space of words between each marking to deliver a clear message to the reader.
***Some people think that mothers should spend most of their time raising their children, and therefore the government should support them financially.  
## Do you agree or disagree?***  
  
While many people opine that mother's major responsibility is taking care of their offspring; therefore, they should be unemployed and receive financial aid from government. However, personally, I firmly believe that mothers, together with fathers, should join hands in raising their children rather than accept government's monetary support.  
  
On the one hand, it is true that a mother plays important roles in a family in nurturing their offspring and needs to focus on them. A child requires love and care from their mother in order that he or she can fully grow up physically and emotionally because there is no room for ignorance, isolation or uncertainty. This is why their time should be laid on the young generation instead of office work, business or making ends meet. Indeed, the financial support from government is crucial to help a family function well by guaranteeing fixed income every year; thus the only concern of a mother is their beloved children. With the assistance of the authorities, females can employ her skills, strengths and energy for the better prospect of their family in general and their direct descendants in particular.  
  
On the other hand, despite the importance of mother's role in raising children, they should be in paid employment instead of being at home. In fact, both mothers and fathers are equal in sharing their parenting duties. A child should acquire affection, education, and care from both parents so that they can develop and mature naturally thanks to this strong foundation. Additionally, when a dad works, a mom stays at home, and the government distributes money limitedly, their children have difficulty in affording what they really demand; as a result, a dad must work harder and a mom must spend money practically and economically to raise a whole family. Last but not least, the government should allocate their budget wisely to other fields in our society such as healthcare, welfare and education in line with a positive future for everybody.  
  
In conclusion, there is no doubt that a mother's duties of nurturing their children is irrefutable. Besides, the government should support a family by stimulating a father's role in a family and investing money in some other sectors.
While many people opine that mother's major responsibility is taking care of their offspring  
Hanging sentence. There must be a reason provided either before or after the word " while". This is an example of an incoherent thought presentation.  
  
therefore, they should be unemployed and receive financial aid from government.  
This is the reason for the previous statement. Therefore, it should come first in the paragraph set-up. Presenting this first clarifies the subject of the sentence.  
  
\*Please improve on sentence presentation and development skills.  
  
I firmly believe  
Incorrect response format. Use the provided response choice by simply stating an agreement or disagreement in a simple sentence prior to the thesis sentence.  
  
On the one hand  
On the other hand  
Incorrect reasoning format. The essay is a single opinion defense. refrain from using a comparative format where it is not required in the orginal prompt. Only the paragraph aligned with the stated opinion will recieve a score. The essay will fail due to the incomplete discussion presentation/ defense.
**Although many people value their public parks, this space could be better used for other purposes such as residential areas for the ever-growing population or to develop business and boost economies.  
  
To what extent do you agree or disagree**  
  
Our industrial world has been witnessing the rapid development of economies as well as the population explosion in recent years. It is, thus, argued that natural sceneries, including public parks, should be cleared to make way for more accommodation and business buildings. From my perspective, I utterly disagree with this opinion, because I believe that natural sceneries have their own merits and the clearance of them is inappropriate.  
  
To begin with, there are two main advantages of public gardens which are worthy of mention. Firstly, these parks play a pivotal role in freshening and enhancing the air quality, particularly in metropolitan areas. Through the photosynthesis process, plants grown in the parks might not only provide oxygen to local occupants, but also absorb emissions released form factories and industrial zones. The respiratory system of regional dwellers, on that account, might be significantly benefited and improved. Secondly, with a diverse number of trees, fountains and flowers consisted of in these places, the regional beauty might be remarkably fostered.  
  
In addition, sacrificing public parks to more accommodations and workplaces, in my viewpoint, is unreasonable. We are living in a world where people have learnt how to manipulate state-of-the-art technologies and deploy the space above us. With technological advances, vertical construction with skyscrapers is a feasible solution to tackle the problem of overpopulation. For that reason, demolishing public parks for more buildings seems not to be a smart measure. Taking New York, which is a metropolis both well-known for excellent infrastructure and massive public parks, such as the Central park, for instance.  
  
In conclusion, given that public gardens exert beneficial impacts on the air quality and they beauty of local areas, and given that the clearance of them for the purposes of dealing with population explosion and accelerating national economies is improper, these parks should be continuously maintained to increase the quality of life for local residents.
***IELTS TASK 2:  
## Nowadays, traffic is a serious problem in big cities

.  
Why is this so and what are the solutions to this?***  
  
The 21st century has witnessed a rising concern in major parts of different countries around the world surrounding the issue of traffic. This essay will elaborate on the cause of this matter and provide personal solutions.  
  
First and foremost, it is believed that the results of this problem mostly surround the traditional way of laboring. Clarifying this point, in order to come to the workplaces, distinctive employees have to use an abundance of means of personal transportation, which creates a high demand of travelling on roads. Additionally, commuters not only who live inside city centres, but also suburbs outside that, are compelled to move to their companies at the common time of the day, particularly following the standardised work schedule. As a result, with the high usage of transportations from even remote areas at the exact same time, traffic congestion occurs in the entire international traffic system every single day. This strongly proves that the issue of traffic is the result of maintaining the old type of work contribution, which needs employees to come directly to their organisations.  
  
In terms of solutions, to tackle the traffic problem, working habits should be completely changed. In other words, the Internet is widely used in different functions, especially connecting people, and this could be beneficial in organisations. In essence, inhabitants could work from home, instead of moving to the companies over and over, which makes the demand for transportation decrease. Another method could be that governments should invest more money into helping public transport systems become more intriguing. To comprehend this, there are different drawbacks of personal transportation that need to be widely educated to the citizens, such as the polluting air from those vehicles. Furthermore, making collective transportation more interesting, including declining travelling fares, would encourage the commuters to choose this kind of travelling instead of individual vehicles. After all, alteration of working practices and raising the amenities of public transportation are the recommended methods to deal with the problem of traffic.  
  
In conclusion, the old type of laboring devotion has led to the struggling matter of travelling. Therefore, governments should make imperative ways to solve this problem and they can follow methods outlined in the essay, which are changing the ordinary way of doing jobs or the traditional type of vehicles, particularly personal ones, used to move to work.  
  
P/s: I hope any experts can read this carefully and provide an advice to improve my writing in the exact points that I'm not strong at, regarding criteria of Ielts Writing, which are Task Response, Coherence and Cohesion, Grammar and Vocab.  
  
Have a nice day!
The task 2 essay is the opportunity for the test taker to show his ability to explain his opinion and ideas quickly and clearly. That is why there is a 40 minute limit on the written presentation. bet to the point quickly, avoid forced errors, and score well. Write too much, create unintentional errors, score lower.That is always what happens when more than 300 words are witten. This essay is no exception. I believe the writer failed to time himself, hence the over-writing. keep it targeted and short. That is the main objective of this essay test. Logic is scored more than vocabulary usage. Do not try to pass based on vocabulary and word count alone.That never works.
## my plan to hangout with friends

  
  
Dear Chloe,  
After finishing the final exam two weeks ago, the university allows a student to take a five-day summer break. During that time, I planned to spend time with my friends.  
  
The first day, I went to my friend's house to cook together, watch the movie we were watching and play games and so on with each other and so on. On the second day, I wanted to do something outdoors so we went camping together and had to prepare everything like food, water, equipment to set up the tent and activity we look forward to the most for the day its bonfire hope everything will be perfect as I thought. The next day, we will go swimming in the morning and the afternoon activity is playing badminton at the training ground with everyone in the group. The following day, we'll have breakfast and coffee with our family and then go shopping for the things we need. On the last day, we plan to have dinner together at restaurants and go to see horror movies that are very popular recently. Those are the things I want to do after the exam is full of fatigue and pressure. If it were you, what would you spend your time doing with your friends?  
  
I'm looking forward to hearing from you  
Bich
and so on with each other and so on  
What? This presentation does not connect well with the previous presentations. Avoid vague references since the letter calls for precise descriptions.  
  
I planned  
Wrong time reference. The instruction asks for future plans. These are yet to happen so the past reference, as in, activities already done and completed cannot be used.  
  
Divide the activities by day and paragraphs.That way a more thorough idea presentation can be completed based on a daily activity focus. Luch a format can use a more active voice and allow the writer to inject more excitement to the future plans.  
  
The writer should be sharing the letter with the friend who will be involved in the activity. Instead the writer is asking for an opinion The writer is using the incorrect letter format.
**Topic :  
*This days many of us prefer to throw damaged things away, whereas in the past people used to repair damaged items and keep them for a long time.***  
  
## Explain why you think this change happened. What are the effects of this change in attitudes?

  
  
In ancient era, ancestors were habituated to reform defective items and to store them for further requirements. However, this phenomenon is totally altered for current generation. People are emphasizing to discard crashed products rather than to repair them. This causes because of the human attitudes towards damaged stuff also it affects mostly in all the sectors. In this essay, I am going to elucidate the premier reasons of this scenario and certain impacts with relevant instances.  
  
To commence with the reasons, the foremost fact is the deficiency in quality of products. In general, when the quality of items are compromised accidentally or artificially, the owners suggest that this item will not perform well in future and they select either throw or purchase new one. Secondly, person does not have skills similarly no time to renovate the broken items. Therefore, he is encouraged to eliminate that thing. To exemplify, if someone's mobile phone is damaged and he does not know proper technical solutions, obviously, he include it in trash and search for new one.  
  
Consequently, a sea change is defined in different fields due to elimination of defective items. Firstly, people dispose crashed products even though those items can be repaired. So that, they do not take interest in recycling methods. Sometimes, those garbage become boon for needy people. For an instance, rich parents give old books of their children to poor children which already acquire more space in their home. Besides, if trashed items throw away from home and other area, the place will become clean but massive dumping yards are increasing nowadays.  
  
To recapitulate, although defective items are thrown by most of citizens, if such products will be modified by someone, definitely those items might be as useful as before and become best out of waste for long time.
Do not focus solely on the vocabulary aspect of the score. Such a presentation shows that the writer does not have a well-built English vocabulary and that he is incapable of writing properly structured English sentences. Big words do not create simple and complex sentences. That is the misconception the with relied on. It led to an essay that is nest to impossible to understand due to the constant incorrect word usage in the presentation. The writer did not understand that the words used formed incoherent sentences that will definitely fail in 3 sections:  
  
- L R  
- C + C  
- GRA  
  
This essay will find it difficult to recieve a passing score.
## Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty.

  
***Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid.  
To what extent do you agree or disagree?  
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.***  
You should write at least 254 words.  
  
It is often argued that money distribution from developed countries to underdeveloped countries does not get rid of poverty problem of the countries. Instead, they should offer other types of aid to those poor countries. I completely disagree with this opinion and think that financial aid can solve poverty.  
  
Firstly, I believe that financial aid can contribute to the quality of human resources and these people can contribute to the country's development such as in economics or politics. Scholarship or grant is one of a financial aid form given by developed countries. For example, UK's Chevening scholarship has been granting a number of Indonesians to study in the UK and they have been prepared to make a change in Indonesia that can support to eliminate poverty. That's why I think financial aid is beneficial.  
  
Secondly, money is substantially important in every aspect of our lives. We need money to buy consumption for survival. And people who commonly do not have money is those who are not able to work or get a job. By giving them money, they can use the money to help them open small businesses and buy daily needs. For instance, there are a lot of Indonesians who are in line of poverty due to extreme lack of money. Also, they are jobless and mostly can not enter work fields due to lack of knowledge needed.  
  
To conclude, financial aid is one of effective ways to eliminate poverty because money can help people gain knowledge and buy necessity needs for survival.
and think  
If the writer completely disagrees with an opinion, then he must have the conviction to defend it. One cannot say "I think" because it negates the "complete" opinion. Rather a "strong belief" must be represented. Otherwise, the opinion presentation becomes confusing to the reader.  
  
and  
Do not use "and" as you are offering a connected reasoning explanation in the sentence. Indicate "because' as the connector instead due to 2 connected ideas being presented.  
  
UK's Chevening scholarship  
A scholarship is not financial aid as depicted in this essay. The focus here is economic aid for the country. The writer misunderstood the prompt topic and focus.  
  
The writer has made a discussion topic error. A score will be provided. However, the mistake in the discussion representation may lower the score.
## [WRITING TASK 1] U.S government expenditure

  
  
**The graph below gives information about U.S. government spending on research between 1980 and 2008.**  
  
The given graph compares four fields in terms of the amount of money invested to study by the American government over a 28-year period. Overall, the expenditure for health, space and energy experienced an upward trend, while that for other researches fluctuated through the timeframe. It is also apparent that medical studies gained the most attention as well as several investments for the most of the period, on the contrary, developing new kinds of energy had a meager fund from the government.  
  
In 1980, there was nearly 10 billion dollars spended in health research, compared with just approximately 7 billion dollars used in other studies. In the following years, the spending for health surged to above 20 billion dollars, reaching the record high in the year 2004, before witnessed a slight decline by nearly 4 billion dollars in the last 4 years. Meanwhile,there was a wavering in the figure for other fields, which ended up at somewhere in the vicinity of 7 billion dollars in 2008.  
  
On the other hand, despite a marginal fluctuation, the expenditure for studying cosmos generally fell to just over 5 billion dollars in the first 12 years, whereas the amount of money spended for energy leveled off at about 3 billion dollars. And then, the figure for both these sectors shared the same upward trend to the last year of the period. However, the spending for space was still much more than that for energy in 2008( nearly 10 billion dollars and 6 billion dollars, respectively)  
  
* 
*
The overall essay is well developed. It shows a great deal of time spent in analyzing the image. Next time make sure to identify the image using the desciption differentiator. That is, the complete image type ( like graph, bar graph, etc.) While the wordiness of this presentation shows a desire to each an impressive L R score, it does not work well under time constraints. The analysis must be presented and proofread for perfection within 20 minutes. Aim for clarity with less words. Save the LR exercise for the Task 2 essay. At least that has a 40 minute time allocation. Good work though. The potential to score highly in the actual test is there.
## Children must learn instead of playing

  
  
It is worrying that children spending a lot of time studying instead of playing or exercising, and this can not be denied that just focusing on studying will make children tired. To be cleared, their bones will have pains, their mind is distracted, and their lives are threatened.  
  
To begin with the first effect, It so harmful if we sit to study for a long time without other movements, according to experts, our veins can not work normally, and with backbone, it will become vulnerable when the spine has to prop up our body. If we study with a firm posture for a long time, it is tough for the development of bones. So, we must stand up and walk around after thirty minutes of studying.  
  
Secondly, our mind is thrown off if we do not allow the brain to rest. In many countries, studying all day is a trend for students, because they believe that trying harder will get achievements easily, and parents always approve their children work through the day by day. The fact is that the more we study, the more the brain is tired because our mind is filled fully. Let the mind is reset, we will feel refresh and work more effectively.  
  
Thirdly, children said that they can not "breath" cause of depression. They want more time to spend on other activities, except studying. We can not ignore what children saying because this is the main reason why many students choose suicide as a fleeing way nowadays. We have to listen to children carefully and deal with them occasionally.  
  
In conclusion, achieving accomplishments in studying is necessary, but the development of children's mental physical conditions is more vital. We should remember that when children have a place to play, have time to rest, reset their minds, have their personal space, they will work effectively. Let children be themselves, not a studying machine.