dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
**Some organizations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion**  
  
One of the important things that must have many employees in the company in office-look clothes which they wear, but the quality of labor's working skill is important else than their appearance.  
  
Nowadays, may organizations decide in order to their employees must have good-looking style because the labor's appearance shows the identity of the company, so it is right way if many companies have the certain rule which their employees must use smart dress in working area. However, I think it is not main feature to enterprise the identity of the company because the quality work of the labor is more important to show their name and work capability of the company rather than the suitable which they wear.  
  
Some companies is entering the industrialization era, it means that the capability of work is more essential from other factors, like clothes-looking. The quality of labor's working shows more and less the rating of the organization because the skill can be measured and looked by other people who want to look job capacity of the industry. Some researchers illustrate that the identity of the industry can be looked from the work capacity of their employees and I think that it is right statement because the working style can determine the result of things which can be produced by the factory and also can be felt by the people who as their consumer in the real life.  
  
All in all, I can conclude that the capability of employee's working as important as the suitable which the labors wear, while the quality of working is more essential rather than clothes. Finally, I just give suggest that it must balance between two factors above because it can improve the name of the organization and also it can be the right way towards modern industrialization.
Dear Yuri  
Here, my corrections toward your writing.  
  
1. in the company is~~in~~ office-look clothes...  
2. However, employee's performance is more importance than appearance  
3. Nowadays, man y organizations require~~decide in order to~~ their employees to ~~must~~ have  
4. so it is right decision ~~way~~ if many companies have the certain rule to~~which their employees must~~ use smart dress in working area  
5. the capability of work is more essential than~~from~~ other factors  
  
Good Luck
**With the latest technological advancements, dating is now possible online. Would you recommend online dating for your single friends? What are the advantages and disadvantages of online dating? Site some examples to support your answer.**  
  
In the modern world, we have seen the developments of technology around us. Because of that, not only applications of social media, but also applications online dating are now available online. I would not recommend this to people around me since the drawback outweigh the benefits. This essay will first discuss the disadvantage that online dating can be established anytime anywhere, then present that the lack of the information of your mate is the biggest disadvantage.  
  
Today, real-time communications such as video streaming or teleconference are made possible by the breakthrough having been done by researchers, followed by the increasing number of online dating. This means that dating can do online. With the advancements of technology, people can interact each other without the gap of communication such as the distance. Also, since the Wi-Fi spots are extensively available around us, people can do dating anytime as long as the computer is connected to the internet.  
  
However, since they do not meet physically, they do not know the real character between them. The long distance that separated them is the reason why they cannot meet. Taking my friend's experience as an example. He had used the online dating for 6 years and had a partner, but after they had met, he disappointed because his partner had temperamental personality, and led them to end their relationship. This experience may be experienced by everyone, and the example is the evidence that we should not do online dating.  
  
All in all, for above-mentioned points, I would like to prefer to choose the conventional dating for my friends. Even though online dating can be done anytime anywhere, lacking understanding your partner's personality can be the bad effect to the relationship  
  
(285 Words)
Hi Ivan, let me give you some comments  
  
1. This means that dating can ~~do~~be done by online  
It is better use passive for the meaning of the sentence  
  
2. This experience may be ~~experienced~~felt by everyone  
It is better for you to use different word in one sentence to avoid the repetition. I give an example 'felt'  
  
3. I would like to prefer ~~to choose~~for choosing the conventional ...  
Same as before, to avoid repetition pattern in a sentence, you need to change into another form  
  
4. You use 'can' seven times in one essay. You should change to another, such as 'be able to'  
  
Your essay is easy to be understood and you can greatly develop your idea  
Keep Practicing
**The diagrams show a structure that is used to generate electricity from wave power.**  
  
The diagram illustrates the flow of electricity production by using waves as a power source. It can be seen that generating electricity needs a turbine to spin the waves which will enter the system.  
  
Initially, column and chamber are built to isolate the waves so that it can be concentrated to the electricity power system. It can be located on a cliff or at a sea wall to make an easy operation when the waves' air comes to the turbine. The process begins when the waves are pushed by air to move into the chamber. Secondly, the air comes through the column and turbine which is rotated in a clockwise direction. Finally, the waves' air creates the electricity.  
  
On the other hand, when the electricity reaches the highest power, the waves are pushed by air which comes from the top of the column. Turbine still rotates in the same direction while electricity is generated. The air occurs the move of waves because the amount of air will affect the power of electricity which is generated.  
  
*   
*diagram*
HI Ifra, I would like to share a few enhancements for your analysis revision.  
  
- needs ~~a~~the turbine to spin  
  
- Initially,the column and the chamber  
- the ~~electricity~~electrical power system.  
- It can be located on a cliff or ~~at a~~by the sea wall  
- to make an easy operation when the ~~waves' air~~air waves comes to the turbine.  
- by the air to move into the chamber.  
- ~~Secondly~~Next , the air comes ...  
- and the turbine which is rotated in a  
- the waves~~' air~~ creates the electricity.  
  
With the word "waves", you don't have to put an apostrophe, "waves" is the plural form of the word "wave", I know that you know this already, however, a good reminder does a lot of good in your writing.
**The diagrams show a structure that is used to generate electricity from wave power.**  
  
A breakdown of the process how to make power plant from sea wave is depicted in the two diagrams. Overall, it can be seen that there are three components, and simple process to produce electricity by exploiting sea water.  
  
To begin with, there are some steps to build power plant. First of all, it is located on the coast line, exactly in cliff or sea wall. Afterwards, column is built on the cliff and in the sea to let sea wave coming through inside. Finally, turbine is set between two columns and there is chamber to receive sea wave.  
  
On the other hand, the process to generate electricity is divided by four procedures. Firstly, wave enters into column and goes through the chamber to go up for surpassing the turbine. Secondly, turbine is rotated by water and then water goes down by helping from air through the turbine again which results same direction of turbine. Furthermore, sea wave will go further to the sea and electricity is produced owing to the rotation of the turbine. Last but not least, electricity can be used to turn on the lamp.  
  
*   
*Question*
Hello, Mr.Mardian :) Let me give you some corrections :)  
  
... it is located on the ~~coast line~~ => coastline , ...  
Afterward~~s~~ , column is built on ...  
  
... generate electricity is divided ~~by~~ =>into four procedures.  
... turbine again which results[need preposition such as from or in ] same direction of [the] turbine.  
  
Keep Writing :)
**Article Summary  
AI Learn to Predict the Future by Watching 2 Million Videos**  
  
Today we are living in the era when the technology can produce a system that can intuition how an image will unfold and dream up a vision of the immediate future. This article can show us how the people creating the ones of the sophisticated invention for the well-being of the mankind in this world. AI (Artificial Intelligence) is the plan of the best idea that ever which this idea could be the background for creating the new tools or any robotic that has predictable thinking of human gestures. According to the ones of the team that created the new system, Carl Vondrick at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology argued that in the future we will see any robot which would set with the basic ability to predict the future. For example, if you're about to sit down, you don't want a robot to pull the chair out from underneath you. So the people can enjoy their lives as the king in their homes. However, this plan is not like a piece of cake term, moreover, to design the extension of this idea, the researchers need enormous times for preparing over 2 million videos that able to predict exactly what will happen or the alternatives scenes of the future. As the close of this article, Vondrick was emphasized his idea that as the human, we able to develop systems which eventually hallucinate these reasonable, plausible futures of images and videos.  
  
Resource :  
newscientist
[quote=SarlindaDS\_27]This article can show us how the people .../quote]  
>>> S VERB AGREEMEN ARTICLE IS SINGULAR SO IT NEED SINGULAR VERB AS WELL >> ARTICLE CAN SHOWS  
>>> CAN SHOW US OR CAN SHOW TO US?  
  
... plan of the best idea that ever which this idea (...) or any robotic that has predictable thinking ... (REPEATATION)  
  
According to the Carl Vondrick one~~s~~ of the teamS that create~~d~~ the new system, ~~Carl Vondrick~~ at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology argue~~d~~ that in the future ...  
  
For example, if you~~'re~~ARE about to sit down, you ~~don't~~DO NOT want a robot to ...  
  
... as the king in ~~their~~THE homes.  
  
However, this plan is not ~~like~~~~a piece of cake~~EASY ( DO NOT USE IDIOM IN ACADEMIC WRITING) term, moreover, ...  
  
..., Vondrick was ~~emphasized~~MISS SPELLING emphasised his idea that as ...
**With the latest technological advancements, dating is now possible online. Would you recommend online dating for your single friends? What are the advantages and disadvantages of online dating? Site some examples to support your answer.**  
  
As the technology has evolved, everything seems to be possible to do for everyone, included online dating. However, I would not reccomend dating via internet for my single friends because their appearance may look different with the real one. Although there are several advantages, the drawback should be considered.  
  
To begin with, why I would never offer my single friends to join a virtual dating because the people may give a fake account. For example, as stated by Mark Gilbert, a psychologist from Cambridge University reveals that 46% of adults attached different photograph and biography to attract more attention from other visitors. Therefore, I prefer not to give this option for my closest peers.  
  
However, some people believe that they are able to take an opportunity to find their soulmate by this way. Firstly, it is possible for them to have an international relationship due to an advance technology. By accessing internet, they can find someone else whenever or wherever they want to. Neverhteless, it seems that they will rely too much on internet, and it has a negative influence towards their bond with surrounding people.  
  
Another merit is the online dating provides an application which enable to be used for video calling. Thus, a direct call make them easy to prove that they use a fake account or not. On the contrary, I think that it is certainly not the same as real interactions and socializations with human beings, and it does not involve the same atmosphere.  
  
In conclusion, whether the good reasons come to give benefits for a large number of people, depending too much on internet and declining real interactions with human beings lead into several adverse effects towards them. Hence, I suggest to my single mates to not start a date on websites. (297)
Hi, let me give you some suggestions.  
  
1. There are some typos  
reccomend ----> recommend  
Neverhteless ----> Nevertheless  
socializations ---> socialization (It is uncountable noun)  
  
2. By accessing the internet ..  
before 'internet', an article the should be put it  
  
3. ... depending too much on the internet ...  
  
4. Hence, I suggest (...) to do not start a date on websites.  
  
Thank You  
Keep writing
**The diagrams show a structure that is used to generate electricity from wave power.**  
  
A comparison of systems that can be used to produce electricity by wave power is shown in the diagrams. In general, both systems use same equipments such as chamber, column, and turbine. These same structures are able to generate electricity by using air pressure which blow from under and above the turbine.  
  
To begin with, in picture A, the chamber is located beside cliff or sea wall. Then, when wave of seawater are pushed to the chamber, it will be directed to the turbine. There is a rise volume of water in chamber which is able to increase the pressure of air. Flow of air and its pressure can rotate turbine in column clockwise and after that electricity is generated.  
  
On the other hand, on another picture, the flow of air comes above the turbine. It is because reducing energy of wave after water turn out the chamber creates small pressure of air in the chamber. Therefore, air from outside chamber is flowing to the column and rotates turbine. Lastly, that rotation produces the electricity.  
  
*
Hi Meireza, below are my suggestions to enhance your analysis.  
  
First paragraph  
- by waves~~power~~ is shown in the diagrams.  
- In general, both systems use the same equipment~~s~~  
- ~~which~~that blows~~from~~ under and above the turbine.  
  
Second paragraph  
-To begin with, ~~in~~ picture A,shows the chamber  
- is located beside a cliff or sea wall.  
- The flow of the air and its pressure  
  
Third paragraph  
- On the other hand, ~~on another picture,~~ the flow of the air comes ~~above~~from the top of the turbine.  
  
There you have Meireza, I hope the above remarks are helpful to your revision.  
The focus of editing your essay is in the sentence construction, the linking verbs as well as the words you associate in your essay. Keep writing.
***With the latest technological advancements, dating is now possible online. Would you recommend online dating to your single friends? What are the advantages and disadvantages online dating? Site some examples to support your answer.***  
  
## The Pros and Cons of Online Dating Media

  
  
The fantastic development of technology in this day able to make the people easier to find their couples by virtual media. Personally, I tend to disagree with that statement and I will think two times before giving a suggestion to my single friend for getting their true love by the online dating site. This essay will expose the plus and minus of the dating online implementation in our real life.  
  
To begin with, there some facts that today, some people fully agree that the online dating can help them to be more confidence for taking the personal relationship rather than in their real situations. Furthermore, according to the research from the APA (American Psychologist Association) had presented that mostly of introvert people are following the dating virtual sites for finding their loves which about 63 % of them believe that they don't have any more difficult the anxiety for getting rejection after show off their feelings to each other. Moreover, a still reference to that research, around 32 % of the dating online couples had succeeded to maintenance their relationship until marriage stage.  
  
On the other hand, several drawbacks of the virtual dating must be there. For instance, there is one real case that had published on mass media in one year ago regarding the fraud that based on the online dating relationship where the woman had been lost her two hundred million dollars because of her boyfriend who her known from the online dating site. Thus, it may be more potential happened to whoever that deciding to take the relationship by virtual media.  
  
To sum up, the online dating media certainly have pros and cons perspectives which it can depend on ourselves considerations, but the essential things that we have to think that the risk to be the criminal victim of the virtual technology higher than in our real life. (307 words)
Hi linda, let me give you some suggestions.  
  
1. ... technology in this day is able to make ...  
There is no verb in the first sentence, becasue the subject is singular and it happens in present time, thereby the most suitable verb is 'is'.  
  
2. To begin with, there are some facts that today  
  
3. ... in one year ago regarding to the fraud  
The collocation of regarding is 'to'  
  
4. .. where the woman had ~~been~~ lost her two ...  
You do not need to make passive  
  
Thank you  
Keep writing
**The diagrams show a structure that is used to generate electricity from wave power.**  
  
A breakdown of the structure and processes that are used to produce electricity by wave power is revealed by two diagrams. Overall, it can be seen that the wave and tide are used to generate the electricity and the ebb structure if functioned to rotate a turbine to produce the electricity.  
  
To begin with, there are some equipment that are needed in processing, such as turbine, chamber with column and the main resource is wave.The electricity generating machine work in two methods. The first diagram indicates that the construction is located near the sea. Firstly, the wave gets inside the chamber and makes an air pressure that rotate the turbine that is placed inside a column. Then, the rotation of the turbine generates electricity which is stored in the cells and it has already used.  
  
The second illustration is how to produce electricity by using the ebb tide of the sea. Firstly, the water outside from the column of chamber and the air pressure is made again by the opposite direction. After that, it is spin the turbine regardless of the direction of the air flow. As a results, electricity continues to be generated.  
  
*   
*question*
Hi Wily, here's another approach to your analysis.  
  
- is revealed ~~by~~in the two diagrams.  
- ... seen that the waves and tides are used to ...  
- the ebb structure - what is an EBB structure?  
  
- needed in ~~processing~~this process ,  
- the main ~~re~~ source is the waves .  
- First~~ly~~ , the wave gets inside the chamber  
- and ~~makes an~~gives air pressure  
- that rotates the turbine that ...  
- ~~it has already~~is ready to be used.  
  
There you have it Wily, I hope the above remarks are helpful to your revision. This analysis is well composed, however, it will do a lot of good if you work more on your logical input and the series of analysis should be dissected first then you give the overall perspective of the diagram.
**The diagrams show a structure that is used to generate electricity from wave power.**  
The diagrams illustrates how wave power can produce electricity by installing a simple structure nearby cliff or sea wall. Overall, the electricity can be turning on, if the current wave moves into the landward.  
  
To create a structure, needs a specific shape of column, a turbine, and a lamp which should be installed in the edge of cliff. The column contains of two steels that connect with each other, and these steels create a chamber formation in other side whose shape similar to current wave. In addition, the two steels are also used to hold a turbine which has same direction, and connect directly to the lamp.  
  
First of all, the function of the column is as a recharge area when the wave appears to move onward to the sea wall. Then, a strong wave is able to convert a large air which can conduct the turbine to produce a power as the main electricity for the lamp. However, if the wave is moving seaward again, the turbine can generate a small amount of electricity. (172)  
  
*
Halllo septia.. here my suggestion for you, i hope it helps!  
  
The diagrams ~~illustrates~~ illustrate how wave ...  
  
**1. Be carefull toward subject verb agreement. I suggest you to re-check your essay before you submit it.**  
  
**2. Based on your essay i quite confuse about your explanation because you did not put any information which one your explanation for A diagram or B diagram. You essay will be better if you make it more clearly thus you will get higher score in your task achievement.**  
  
Good Luck!
**Hi Miss Septidara.**  
  
I have read your writing detailed. A few components I will review.  
  
how wave power can produce electricity  
*Actually, the turbine can spin because of the power of wind. It is not only from the beat of wave but only from upside. Pay attention specifically to the picture B. The wind comes from the upside of the turbine.*  
  
*You unsuccessfully give the overview precisely because the turbine can still generate the electricity, whereas the wave moves out of the landward. Be careful of deciding the overview. You are supposed to analyze the data detailed and carefully. It can influence your score markedly if you fail to display the accurate overview.*  
  
*I really like your way to group the data. You can successfully transfer the information to readers well. Actually, I was surprised because you mentioned that the material of the column is pieces of steels. However, I think that is guessing well because you can make the readers sure. You guide the readers to get the information with the good logic flow. It is a good job. One thing which I disagree your description is an explanation that there was a difference between the amount of electricity in those two conditions. Please, Be careful to include your opinion if there is a proof to strengthen your opinion.  
  
Overall, It is the good explanation.*