dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
## Importance of Language

  
  
**Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language.**  
  
**Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.**  
  
Language impacts our daily lives and it helps to express feelings. Some people believe that traveling and working in foreign countries is the only reason to learn other languages. However, others disagree with that. In my opinion, I think there are more reasons than that, for example, knowing other cultures communicating for global business.  
  
It is no doubt that knowing a foreign language will benefit traveling and working in that country. Yet learning about different cultures is also important. It is too arrogant to expect all mankind think in the same way, and it brings a lot of misunderstandings. Having a desire and willingness to adapt new cultures is necessary, and it will be easier to learn new cultures by having the ability to communicate with foreigners. By learning a new language, people also get to enjoy the literature and music in that language, and it all helps to have better knowledge of various cultures.  
  
Another advantage of learning a foreign language is that it allows us to work better in global business community. Communicating directly with clients and companies in their native tongue is one of the first steps to founding a stable international business relationship. With the ability to do this, multilingual people are already ahead of other peers in the competition of higher position in job, and it also brings higher salary and status. Besides, they can work as translators in company, for example, when their boss is having meeting with oversea managers or customers.  
  
In conclusion, learning a foreign language will not only bring us benefits in working and traveling in foreign countries, but also knowing more about cultures and being successful in international business.
## In your opinion what factors contribute to a good movie?

  
  
Movies are undoubtedly one of the world's biggest entertainment nowadays. People usually watch it in their leisure time for relaxation purpose. There are also a lot of genres that people can choose depends on their mood and favour, such as action, romance, thriller, comedy, suspense, science fiction etc. However, in my opinion, there are three factors that build up a good movie, which is actors, story, and music.  
  
First of all, a movie cannot be represented if there are no actors. Moreover, the actor is the most essential element in a movie because good actors are able to express their mood successfully and convey the audience into the scene and experience the story together. In the movie "The Hunger Games", the main character Katniss shows her peaceful thoughts and she put a lot of effort in expressing her emotion, so when I was watching it in the movie theatre, I can fully understand the feeling in that situation and put myself into their shoes.  
  
Second, I believe that story is another important material to create a good movie. Whether the plot is a real story or not, I think it should imply some issues in society for the audience to learn or discuss. In the movie "3 idiots", is a story mentioning about the education system in India. In the movie, Rancho is studying at an Indian engineering college. Furthermore, he is genuinely interested in science and engineering. He believes that instructors shouldn't ask students to remember the textbook. Instead, students should gain knowledge through hands-on practice. For parents, they know that engineering can make a good salary, so they force their children to major in this subject, which is a serious misconception for their future. Rancho mentions these issues and he has taken a full interpretation of this role to express those ideas.  
  
Lastly, music serve several purposes that are either important on the emotional side of the movie or help to enhance the storytelling. In addition, although most of the time, the audience will not notice how the music helps them to communicate and connect to the story. But music usually plays the role of generating the mood when the actor or the plot is trying to deliver some emotions. In the movie "A star is born", there is a song called "Shallow", which is describing a conversation between the two main characters, Ally and Jackson, if they are content being who they are. The song is heard three times throughout the film, therefore, whenever I heard of the song now, I remembered the scene in the movie and the feeling of the actress's broken heart. This is how powerful the music is.  
  
To sum up, films are a truly collaborative effort that often involves hundreds of cast and crew working together in order to create a finished product. Therefore, not only these three factors can contribute to a good movie, but they are the most important elements to start with.
Your construction of sentences is decent. I would only say that in terms of structure, you could opt for less complex methods of building up to make your essay more comprehensible. **Avoid repetitive language that could make your essay redundant.**  
  
For instance, you were constantly repeating that method of creating lists in your first paragraph. Instead of doing this, *I would recommend that you go straight to the point.* In line with this, I would revise your last sentence as:  
  
*However, there are three factors to consider in a movie's quality: actors, story, and music.*  
What I had done is remove those linking words and instead opted for a colon to indicate that you would be discussing these three things. **This method can help you avoid too much usage of commas** that can appear to somehow clutter the entirety of your text.  
  
**Having said that, the removal of redundant words is key when you want to expound on key ideas for your essay.** Especially when you are working with word counts, it is vital to assess and manage your usage of language.  
  
Let's look at your second paragraph. I would phrase the second sentence instead as:  
*Moreover, actors are essential elements in a movie because they convey and express a mood for the audience to experience.*  
As you can see, I had paraphrased your line and cut down the words through making concise the tone and language. If you can do this through practicing more, it can help you enhance your writing through making more space for your theme. This can as well help you avoid lengthy sentences that drag an essay's quality. This issue is mostly evident in your essay in its body. If you believe that you can omit words and separate thoughts into two different sentences, then opt to do that at all costs.  
  
**Apart from this, I would suggest that you watch out for your proper capitalization** as well because there were instances wherein you were not able to implement this for proper nouns. Review your grammar handbook on writing.  
  
The overall content of your essay, *nonetheless*, is quite sufficient especially with the abundance of examples and tones of discussion.  
Best of luck to you!
## to tell or share every piece of information

  
  
Sharing meaningful information has been an element of the technology and society progress of our world. However, even though sharing information somehow brings about successes and is more convenient for everyone including company or educational institution to share as much information as they can, I feel both excited and apprehensive towards this action.  
  
On the one hand, under the advance of technology in terms of sharing information, we are able to enjoy everything that comes in hand and boosts our living quality. In other words, innovation is created by developing and sharing an amount of fresh-from-the oven information with others. Take Apple as an example, Steve Jobs invented and promulgated the first computer system in the world, gradually, many other high-tech companies started manufacturing computers that shared the same features. This circumstance also happens in academic field, too. Educational institutions such as universities or research centers will host an annual conference in order to present what new findings during this year. As a linguistics major student as I am now, in order to absorb new knowledge in terms of the evolution and foundation of language, we always share our point of views and research results with other academic fellows.  
  
On the other hand, what I have been concerning as well, it is not always efficient to give your precious new-found information with others. For instance, business companies do not share their confidential details with others, because if they do, it will cause a huge negative impact to the company. Companies aim to bring financial incomes and provide good working environment for every single person in the building, if they fail to protect their information, there will be a high risk for bankruptcy in the end, and that is not what everyone wants to see. As a result, to protect well for companies' business, they apply for a patent, so no one can steal or copy from them.  
  
To be brief, in my opinion, it is great to tell or share every piece of information that you have been working on so hard to others. Yet, it is also important to think twice and make a whole evaluation before sharing any information publicly.
For the opening paragraph, perhaps you could begin with something like this:  
Many times in hiring outside consultants there can be an increase of organizational issues, especially when considering the tremendous fees that are incurred based on the knowledge of the consultant. Perhaps meeting with the employees, supervisors and managers senior leadership could learn more about the problems with the employees making suggestions on what could be done to correct those issues.  
  
In paragraph two remove the word "ness" after bias. Remove etc. after BCG.....remove gone through and replace with resolved as well as .......  
  
In paragraph three write in the China market.......in order to increase market share by effectively blending into the Chinese culture to increase sales.......an outside consultant...helped the company discover the reason for decreased sales while also providing ......If the company had listened to ....change exist to exit.....  
  
In paragraph four remove the word "own" ....there may not be the need for consultants .......can often cost the company......  
  
Example: If Enron and WorldCom had exercised ethical behavior while also having financial accounts verified by external consultants, the financial scandals could have been avoided.  
  
The last paragraph should read something like: While consultants can be effective in assisting organizations in solving problems, ......
## adverts impact on children

  
  
**Some people think that advertisements are misleading for children while others claim that they provide knowledge. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.**  
  
The impact of advertisements on children is an often debated topic. Some believe that the adverts are deceptive for the young ones. Others, however, feel that they are incredibly educative for them. Both the views will be analyzed before a reasoned conclusion is decided upon.  
  
As many argue, juveniles' exposure to the advertisements is disadvantageous for them for many reasons. For one, these advertisements s are broadcasted with the intention of enticing the young ones into buying a certain product which is not beneficial for them. McDonald's, for example, telecasts its adverts involving colorful images of its meals encouraging the children to enjoy the junk food. Another demerit is that these ads spark rebellious behavior among the children. A typical example is when youngsters watch the ads of expensive toys, video games or any other gadget, they continuously nag their parents to buy such things them. If they do not get the desired product then they resort to some other means such as thefts. Thus, the negatives of these adverts are very clear.  
  
Other people, however, assert that advertisements are beneficial for the young ones in terms of the knowledge they provide to them. Firstly, many advertisements encourage children to form good habits. For instances, the Dettol hand wash advert encourages the young ones to wash their hands before having meals. Secondly, the children, sometimes, are motivated to perform well and excel in their studies when they see ads of some learning toys or learning applications like Meritnation. It is therefore understandable why many are supporters of this position.  
  
To conclude, after looking at these two opposing sides, it is felt that although advertisements engender bewilderment and delinquent's tendency among the children yet they are greatly beneficial in assisting them in forming good habits and getting information. And, the negatives associated with these adverts can be easily addressed by the continuous attention of the parents towards the children exposure to them. Hence, it can be said that the merits of adverts eclipse their demerits.
## are women better parents than men?

  
  
*Many people believe that women make better parents than men and that this is why they have the greater role in raising children in most societies. Others claim that men are just as good as women at parenting. Discuss two sides and give your opinion*  
  
Answer:  
Whether women are more good at parenting than men is under hot debate. Opinions differs from person to person. From where I stand, even though men have different advantages and disadvantages of parenting from women, I firmly assert that men are able to be as good parents as women and the significance of the role of father are tantamount to that of mother.  
  
It is undeniable that compared with fathers, mothers are more affable and considerate and can enable children, especially little ones and infants, meticulous and sufficient care because of the gender differences. This is not sexual discrimination towards women but a deeper consideration of the demand of children. But it does not mean that mothers need to shoulder more responsibility of raising children. There existed a social belief that women have obligation to sacrifice for their family, even abandon their dreams and career, in order to ensure their children good care, high-quality education and a promising future. So what we expect a father's involvement ? That belief is unfair and partial, considering that the greater role women have, the heavier burden they have to take.  
  
Furthermore, I suppose father's role has been underrated in the process of parenting for a long time. The research concerned have shown father's involvement have fundamental effects on the physical and psychological development of their offspring in childhood and adolescence. In addition, sufficient and unqualified fatherly love can shape one's personality to some extent. For instance, some social observation and psychological investigation found young girls lacking fatherly love are likely to feel inferior and tend to seek love of someone who is far more older than themselves.  
  
All in all, it is safely concluded that both father and mother are best role models and easily set examples for their children. In spite of difference the way of parenting between father and mother, the influence exerted by them should not be ignored.
I think for this type of essay prompt it is better to have a three part essay, where the two sides are discussed objectively in two body paragraphs, and then your subjective opinion is introduced in a third paragraph, which can be combined with the conclusion. Here are some specific suggestions:  
  
Whether women are [better] at parenting than men  
  
... Opinions [differ] from person to person.  
  
... even though men [and women] have ... disadvantages [concerning] parenting ~~from women~~, I firmly ... able to [parent as well] as women  
  
... the role of father [is] tantamount to that of [the] mother.  
  
... considerate and can [provide] children, ... differences. {saying "it is undeniable" and then giving no support or data seems unreasonable to me}  
  
... There [exists] a [societal] belief that women have [the] obligation to  
  
.... father's involvement [to be] ? {what "do we expect" or "what should we expect"?} That belief {what belief? You just gave a rhetorical question, not a belief} is unfair  
  
... I suppose [the] father's role ...  
  
...The research [concerning this topic has] {research is singular non-countable} shown [that a] father's involvement [has] fundamental effects  
  
... the influence exerted by [both parents] should not be ignored.
## children effort at school and the money

  
  
Children need rewards, every kind of rewards to recognize their effort. Some people argue that parents should not use money as a reward because it may mislead children to believe that their effort is only for the sake of money. However, I do consider it a good idea, for not only can children learn the importance of investment, but they also can appreciate the value of money.  
  
First, children learn to invest money on themselves. Conventional wisdom holds that children were too young to learn anything about investment. However, more and more parents nowadays use money as a reward to teach their children how to invest their earning on personal improvement. For example, when I was little, whenever I got an A on my test, my mother would give me 10 dollars as a reward. She told me I could use the money to buy everything I wanted, but before buying it, I should think about how that can change my life. Therefore, I spent my hard-earned money buying myself a Webster dictionary. Because of this dictionary, I made a huge progress in my English. In short, children know how to use money to better themselves.  
  
Second, children learn to appreciate the value of money. "Impossible," some will say. "Their parents would finally give in and buy them whatever they want." It is true that some parents are simply soft-hearted, making their children depreciate the value of their money. This precisely explains the advantage of monetary rewarding system because only by using it can children begin to cherish every penny they have. For instance, when children know they have to study hard to make their own money, they consequently don't spend their saving on whatever they want. Instead, they keep it until the right moment arises. In sum, children realize the value of money earned on their own.  
  
The dichotomy is evident since some argue that children would begin to judge their effort based on how much money they can get in return. While this argument is understandable, the monetary rewarding system is a good idea because children learn to invest money on themselves and begin to appreciate the value of money.
Hello Funtomas Chen  
I think 'children can learn the importance of right investment' and this is some sort of a result after they learn to appreciate the value of money.  
  
What if other people's parents just give them cash as a reward for their good scores without telling them to think twice before spending?  
  
I think that it is individual thinking to invest money the right way. Usually, a student who frequently succeeds at exams is a rational person. That is why he chooses to utilize his monetary rewards on something that is useful for his study. This development then teaches him to calculate his investment on anything later in life.  
  
The reasoning in body 2 is kinda similar to body 1. You should think of different way to support your idea on this one.  
Looking forward to read your next works
@Funtomas Chen  
**I suggest that you revise your usage of tenses in the essay.**When you are writing down your essay, you should always keep in mind in which particular tense you wish to write it in. For instance, hypothetical essays like this one which play around on what could happen are better written in future tense. Keep this in mind when writing your essay.  
  
Assessing, on the other hand, the content of your essay, *I would say that you could create more specific projections about the lives of children*. Perhaps you can make a concise comparative on the difference between the future attitude of these children towards money and finances. You can discuss this more in detail by tackling how they differ in terms of handling monetary issues in the future. You can also go in-depth as to why it is important for children to learn these things in the early stages of their life. You had mentioned that there will be a moment in the future that will test them - you can discuss this more by being more specific.  
  
At one point in your essay, you were becoming repetitive as well. **I would recommend that you avoid using redundant words to expand your content more substantially.**
Dear Coke:  
  
Thank you for your feedback. It really helps me a lot. Sometimes when I come across this kind of topic, I am just out of ideas. Maybe, I should just treat it in a more simple way. But, thank you again.  
  
Dear Maria:  
  
Thank you for your grammar tips; I will keep that in mind. Also, thank you for your suggestion of how I should develop my content. I will revise the content and post it again. Once again, thank you very much.
***You and your friend booked two theater tickets in advance. Apology to your friend as you can't make it to the theater with him.  
  
In the letter, you should:  
·apologies  
·explain what reasons you can't make it  
·give options what can be done with the ticket.***  
  
## flight tickets cancelling

  
  
Dear J,  
  
I'm sending this message to inform that I won't be able to join you at the theater on Friday night.  
  
I'm sorry that I have to cancel our plan this weekend due to an urgent situation. My boss has assigned me to go on a business trip on the same day in Danang because the junior employees are not qualified to handle this job. This deal is extremely important to the company and my career as my boss guaranteed a big promotion if I could seal the business.  
  
I know that you have planned this night for months and you really want us to be in the movie premiere together. However, since this trip determines my future, I'd have to skip this time.  
  
If you accept, I'd like to give my ticket to Tim, a friend of mine. This guy is hilarious and easy-going. I believe you'll have an amazing time hanging out with him.  
  
Again, I deeply apologize that I can't go this Friday and hope that you understand.  
  
Please give me a call if you want to re-arrange my ticket to someone else.  
Your friend