dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
## climate change and economy

  
  
As the weather worldwide is not as stable as previously, businesses based on agriculture and animal husbandry may suffer from unexpected challenges, while some entrepreneurs deem these changes as an opportunity and embrace and celebrate it. Personally, climate change, in most cases, impeding business flourish.  
  
Farmers are the most vulnerable group in terms of intensive climate variety. The high temperature and droughts bring both scarcities in crop yields and great loss in livelihoods, rendering the peasantry a helpless and adverse place. However, the situation is even worse for businesses related to mariculture when typhoons and Tsunami strikes. The ocean is both a blessing and a curse for human being especially those who live on it. On the one hand, the ocean provides various nutritious food supplies, boosting economic development as well as tourism. On the other hand, the moody temper of the ocean may increasingly swallow the mariculture industry and deprive tens of thousands of lives of innocent fishers. At the same time, the rising sea level and loss of green land due to global warming appear less attractive for travelers thus massively decreasing the profits of the tourist industry. In this aspect, the extreme weather that is accompanied by climate change poses a formidable negative impact on traditional businesses that rely heavily on nature environments.  
  
Climate change forces humankind to actively explore and discover new ways in face of these challenges. In other words, it fosters technological innovation and working pattern alternation, requiring not only climate change-specific skills in workers but also solutions to adapt to the consequences of the volatile climate. The transformation of energy resources is a good example to illustrate. After the prohibition of coal exploitation, solar energy has seen great proliferation. Besides, policy constrains greenhouse gas emissions, not stifling the vehicle production industry, but encouraging investment and dedication in researching electronic-based transportation.  
  
In conclusion, the opportunity brought through climate change fails to counteract the challenge it exerts on traditional business, yet the latter appears to be a more immediate and pressing issue.
The writer will do best to remember that he has only 40 minutes to draft, review, edit, review, proofread, and finalize the content of his discussion. These quality focused scoring considerations need to be prioritized over the word count. The current word count cannot be met within 40 minutes if the aforementioned review and editing requirements, which will ensure that he achieves the top score for his work, are to be accomplished. Remember, the word count is not scored. The score comes from the quality of the work. If you write a lot, but fail to conclude the essay in within 40 minutes, then you will still have a strong potential to fail the test. Focus on what is scored, not the number of words. Write another essay. One that is written within 250-300 words. Show me your ability to write in a focused manner. Keep it short, accomplish the writing quality within an appropriate word count. Then I can tell you if you will qualify for the test or not. Right now, the sentences in the presentation are badly written and the lack of clarity in the presentation could very well fail this test.
## the majority of local foods are replaced with the imported ones

  
  
It is true that people in many nations are tend to use the product was produced in other country than the local product. There are several reasons behind this trend and the authorities could create some strategies to attract residents buy local food.  
  
On the one hand, there are two keys reasons why people preferred consumed important food rather than the food in their country. Firstly, the wide range of product was imported brought about the interest of people to try it. In other words, people have lived in the country for a long time, almost starting when they was born. Therefore, they used to familiar with the local and because of that, they are more curious about the new food that come from other nation. As the results, the amount of imported food was consumed has been increasing in some countries. Secondly, people tend to think that food was produced in other countries have better quality and it will have positive effect with their health than the local food. For example, in Vietnam, the parents have tried to buy milk come from other countries such as Korean, Japan, America or Australia because they think that product will be better for their children's grow up.  
  
On the other hand, the government should apply the new strategies to encourage people use the food was produced in their country. Firstly, the authorities could impose a plan lead the food company investigate and produced the food in a new way that can appeal the interest of residents. In addition, the food should to sell with other small product as a gift for the consumer such as a toy or they can received more food but paid for one product. Secondly, government should allow advertising has content about food appear on the TV or internet in many times and that advertising must be produced in an attractive way and each advertising for each kind of food should be aimed at a certain audience.  
  
In conclusion, there are some vital reasons explain why people preferred consume food come from other countries, some simple measures should be adopted by local food growers to meet this challenge.
The writer has shown a difficulty in the prompt restatement portion of this task. He has managed to string together some English words to create a sentence. However, the meaning of the sentence is unclear to the reader due to the improper word choices and sentence structureof the presentation sentence. In this case, the restatement score will be a non-passing one. The restatement of the instruction does not qualify as a response in this case as there are direct questions posed by the original prompt. The expectation of the examiner, based on the TA requirements, is that the exam taker shall present straight topic based responses for both questions, thus meeting the clarity of opinion scoring requirement of the TA section. So, without the direct responses, the score for this section will be severely limited. It is not the repetition of the instruction that matters because it does not help establish the ability of the student to follow instructions based on indicated fields of scoring.  
  
Avoid using memorized placement holders such as "on the one / other hand". These are considered class taught transition phrases that the student should have outgrown by the time he takes the actual test. His ability to use subject sentences to establish his point, by indicating a clear paragraph topic and its relation to his opinion would offer him the best scoring potential.
Hello everyone,  
  
I have just started practicing writing in order to take an IELTS test in the near future. Below is the topic that I have seen and written about. If possible, could you help rate my work and point out any errors or improvement points?  
  
## **"Environmental degradation is a major world problem.What causes this problem, and what can we do to prevent it?"**

  
  
It is undeniable that recent environmental issues have been a central topic in many international discussions. Human activities are said to be one of the major causes and with a joined effort from governments and their people, measures can be taken to mitigate these problems.  
  
Human being's constant demands for economic development and expansion by producing new products and goods have played a major part in the deterioration of the environment. To support these processes, natural resources are being unsustainably exploited at such a rapid rate that they cannot recover adequately. What is more, production at factories, together with exhaust gases from vehicles, produces a large amount of greenhouse gases and this causes serious air pollution. In addition, deforestation for farming lands and residential and industrial areas has reduced the earth's capability to absorb these poisonous gases. As a result, global warming and climate change have been pervasive over the world.  
  
Having said that, it is not impossible to improve the current status of the environment. Firstly, households and manufacturing plants can substitute fossil fuels with renewable and green energy sources such as solar or wind energy. Furthermore, governments should promote the usage of environmental-friendly and recyclable raw materials in production processes. They can, additionally, reduce taxes for companies that contribute environmental conservation. Lastly, people should gradually switch to using electric devices such as cars and kitchen ware because these are less harmful to the environment.  
  
To conclude, while it is clear that the environment is getting worse, there are certainly solutions that can be carried out to prevent further damage and make it better.
The essay shows your potential to give targeted responses to the given question. Being able to understand the prompt is the first step towards garnering a collection of positive scores for your overall final grade. So, the accuracy of your prompt restatement and word choices really helped you get a good preliminary score. There is room for vocabulary improvement overall as the current word usage is more in the elementary word choice bracket. Improving the vocabulary of your work, without going overboard, will also help increase your sectional scoring chances.  
  
It is also important that you use specifics in your opinion statements, particularly with the discussion focus that you will want the essay to take. When you are asked "What causes the problem?" Do not provide a general response like "human activities". That is a response, but not a specific response. By offering a clearer response such as "Use of single use plastics is a human activity that contributes to the problem by causing...", you get a better scoring consideration in the TA section since your response is tremendously clear when the question is considered. Offer a solution immediately after that is just as clear; "The solution to this is...."  
  
Overall, this is a good start. As an assessment tool, it tells me that you are capable of actually scoring higher than a 7 with proper guidance in terms of test preparation.
@Holt  
Thank you for your assessment.  
  
I agree that my vocabulary needs working. I, however, don't suppose word choice hints are given without further consultation service.  
  
A lot of IELTS trainers say that the introduction doesn't need to have a very specific answer with ideas. That's the job of the body paragraphs. So based on your feedback, I am not sure about how specific I should write my answer in the introduction.  
  
I have a feeling that if I, for example, write about "Use of single use plastics" in my answer in the introduction, my body paragraph should be focusing on this idea alone. And I don't really have enough supporting ideas for "Use of single use plastics" to make a full paragraph without additional research.
## nuclear weapons dilemma

  
  
In this modern era, nuclear weapons are commonly used as a display of a country's strength and development all over the world. While many people believe that these powerful weapons are beneficial on a large scale, I completely differ on this opinion due to several reasons.  
  
The first argument given to support my belief is that nuclear weapons are so destructive that they could annihilate the whole city and put millions of lives at stake. According to experts, one nuclear bomb detonation is capable of creating a total absence of all signs of life in a large area. Furthermore, nuclear weapons have their roots in fatal illnesses and gradual deaths in the long term. Here I am referring to people contaminated with radioactive fallout. These people run a higher risk of contracting cancer and dying at a younger age. Take a look at the Hiroshima and Nagasaki case, numerous citizens nowadays are still suffering from the 1945 nuclear bombs' effect.  
  
Another point behind my belief is that it is a complete waste of money to invest billions in nuclear weapons and the citizens could hardly get any benefits from it. Instead of tackling ongoing issues such as the increasing rate of crime, unemployment, and poverty, the government places too much unnecessary emphasis on operating a superior nuclear weapons scheme. Moreover, with the detrimental effects of nuclear weapons, the authority has to once again finance an enormous amount of money for rebuilding, reconstructing facilities, and medical treatment in the aftermath.  
  
In conclusion, although it appears that nuclear weapons are such formidable tools that every country desires, I believe that the world would be better off without them.
Indicating several reasons is too wide a net to cast in a limited time essay. Aim for clarity and a stronger TA score by using specific reasons for your opinion. If uncertain, use only one reason to support your opinion, then explain it over 2 paragraphs. When certain, indicate 2 reasons for a higher TA and C+C score. Vagueness in presenting your opinion, by avoiding the shortened supporting reasons does not earn extra points.  
  
When presenting evidence, try to go less for historic evidence dating back to World War II as the effects of those have already been dealt with. A more appropriate response would have been how nuclear weapons are existing as helpful aspects of our daily lives, when the opposite is true. Refer to the Japan nuclear power plant meltdown that turned the power plant into a potential weapon of mass destruction, and the Chernobyl explosion, that proves even an innocent power plant can be converted into a nuclear weapon if one desires to. Go for more recent information to show that you are updated regarding current events.  
  
Overall, this is still a well written essay and has the potential to get an above average passing score. It is well developed and shows a high degree of education on the part of the test taker.
***Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language.***  
  
## Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

  
  
The demand for becoming a bilingual or multilingual has been dramatically increased in the recent years. While some people think that the sole purpose of learning a second language is to find a job or for a holiday abroad, others believe there are several more reasons for a person to do so. From my perspective, I relatively favour the latter for some reasons below.  
  
On the one hand, the requisite of numerous companies nowadays usually includes the ability of using at least one other language. In fact, globalization has clearly been popular recently ; therefore, the need for bilingual employees has as well grown. For instance, an IELTS certification seems to do wonders for employees to earn a job in foreign businesses or countries. The case is also somewhat true when it comes to travel, as it is quite a waste of money to travel to a place without knowing hardly anything about it.  
  
On the other hand, learning another language satisfies not only our physical needs, but also our moral needs. It is seems to be much more simple for us to communicate and make friends with a person if we are talking in the same language. Furthermore, when learning a new language, we can simultaneously know more about the culture and custom of the nation using that language. Hence, acquiring an extra language can rise our possibility to have more international friends as well as broaden our horizons.  
  
In short, it is, to a certain extent, true that many people strive to be a bilingual just to apply for a job or travel abroad; however, I think that it has not ever been and should not be limited in that border.  
  
Thanks a lot for your help! :33
The prompt restatement is acceptable although the first sentence is a bit out of place as it does not refer to required information coming from the original prompt. That is the writer's personal opinion and should actually not be present at all. The proper restatement should only have 3 sentences in it based on the original presentation. The rephrasing should always have the same number of sentences as the original since the information source does not change. Additionally, the personal opinion of the writer should not be vague in the personal opinion presentation. Deliver a clear response to the question. Since the writer already said he agrees with one side, the next scoring expectation is that he will indicate his single preliminary reason to complete the opinion + thesis statement.  
  
The presentation does not use the required General Reason Explanation + Personal Opinion format for the response. The lack of the proper response formatting created a personal opinion essay rather than a comparative public + personal opinion presentation. Since the writer knows what the public opinion is and why he supports or does not support it, then he should have done so in the same paragraph. Or, he should have presented his personal opinion as a 3rd stand alone paragraph. This essay will receive scores, but it will not be full scoring considerations due to the improper response formatting.
I just started learning to write essays and paragraphs for school. I would appreciate any comment, correction and advice on my writing  
  
## **Many parts of the world are losing important natural resources, such as forests, animals, or clean water.**

  
*Choose one resource that is disappearing and explain why it needs to be saved. Write a paragraph, using specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.*  
  
With the uprising number of population, freshwater is gradually running out. There are a considerable number of reasons why water should be preserved. To begin with, water is crucial to every living organism on earth. About 71% of Earth's surface is covered with water; however, being one of the most valuable natural resources it is, only a fraction of the of which is freshwater. Up to 70% of the human body is composed of water. Not only is water essential to humans but water is also responsible for several essential functions within plants and trees, namely photosynthesis. Another reason is that water links and maintains all ecosystems on the planet. The more careful people use water, the more it is preserved in our ecosystems, which helps to keep wetlands habitable for animals. Á a matter of fact, of all ecosystems, no area is as biologically diverse as wetlands, which are home to a large variety of animals. In conclusion, while water is the most essential component of life, it is quickly disappearing. Therefore, water conservation is important to save life on our planet.
While the word "uprising" sounds right as it seems to insinuate an increasing number, the more appropriate term would be an uptick or an increase. An uprising actually has a more negative connotation and meaning as it refers to an insurrection or revolt, as in an increasing war. It does not mean an increasing number. Try to familiarize yourself with more English words and the meaning of each. That way, you will learn how to use the term properly in sentences that you develop. Remember, just because the word sounds right, it does not mean that the meaning is automatically applicable to the presentation. Correct meaning is more important than impressive sounding words.  
  
only a fraction of the of  
The what of the what? Kindly remember to edit your content before considering it to be a final form. Repeated words that do not make any sense or add value to the presentation will lower your essay scores due to lack of information or opinion clarity.
## INTERNATIONAL AID AND CARE

  
  
**Question: Some people think that governments should not spend money on international aids if there are disadvantaged people like the unemployed and homeless in their own country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?**  
  
It is sometimes argued that less-developed nations do not need to contribute worldwide financially given the challenges of homelessness and the low unemployment rates. I totally agree with this idea and I believe that such countries could. dedicate themselves to other aspects.  
  
In my opinion, governments facing homelessness and unemployment are supposed to allocate their tax revenue to these problems rather than paying money to finance international organizations or events, Given that both the homeless and the unemployed are suffering and their basic rights are undermined, the authorities should prioritize these urgent issues so as to narrow the economic disparity among their country. Providing that such nations funded those international aids firstly, more financial burdens would be imposed on them. As such, they are unlikely to take steps to tackle homelessness and unemployment problems in the light of the lack of money.  
  
Despite the impossibility of aiding international organizations with funds, governments which encounter the aforementioned issues could give other countries a hand in other measures. Firstly, these suffering authorities could provide resources or information that they specialize in such as the technique of agriculture. As part of the world, it is favorable for those developing nations to exchange and share their useful knowledge. At the same time, they could participate in voluntary work to play a positive and beneficial role in the Globe. In this case, they certainly dedicate themselves to international affairs and do not add more financial burdens to themselves.  
  
To sum up, I do concur that some under-developed nations could save their funds on accommodating global issues, whereas they could support them in more practical and active ways.
When the original prompt refers to something that people think, it is not referring to an argument. The reference "think" indicates a thought or an opinion. An argument does not refer to thoughts. by definition "to argue" refers to to contend in oral disagreement; dispute. The difference in the word definitions make the word choice in the restatement inapplicable to the discussion. More appropriate alternates would have been assume, consider, feel, for starters. Using the wrong alternate word alters the original discussion target. It cannot receive a full task accuracy score due to incorrect word choice.  
  
could.  
Why is there a period in the middle of this sentence? This is sloppy writing and shows a lack of care in presentation development. The writer did not proofread before submission. This will receive point deductions due to inaccurate punctuation usage.  
  
There is no need for the writer to kick off his first reasoning paragraph with "In my opinion" since that has already been established in the prompt restatement + personal opinion paragraph. Opening with a topic introduction would have been more effective in this case and increased scoring considerations instead. While there will not be any point deductions, it did not increase the scoring potential either.
## Annual outlook of a bank

  
  
Facing the future, The Bank will continue to deeply implement the national financial guidelines and policies, deeply integrate technology and business, and accelerate the pace of digital transformation. It will continue firmly focusing on its market positioning and customer needs, being dedicated to the services of small, medium-sized and micro enterprises, enhancing the construction of distinctive banking and cultivating inclusive finance, striving to build The Bank into a trans-regional distinctive modern boutique bank with international financial background.