dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
Nonetheless, I do not this trend positive in any way. (informal line) umm.. i think this trend is having negative impact on today's generation  
  
exterior looks ( exterior is mostly used for buildings and homes)  
People are now never satisfied with their natural beauty regardless (what?) (my grammar ain't good might b your sentence is correct.please explain )  
  
no examples to support your paragraphs.even you didn't mention any type of surgery.  
never include new points in conclusion.your conclusion has got all the new points.cosmetic procedures have been proven to be helpful for those who have been deformed from natural or unnatural reasons, such as 1st degree burns. (you didn't mention this thing in your para?// awareness programs??/  
  
might b am wrong somewhere but am also a learner :)
Dear  
you need to paraphrase the promt first, then you will give your outline sentences, this actual format of IELTS writing. otherwise your writing loose marks. your introduction is poor, so I would suggest you to read some writing, so that you can get some idea to write your next writing. by the way one good thing is in your introduction that you maintain three sentences in that. one important thing is that do not write any separate paragraph for your opinion for such types of paragraph because it is not asked.  
  
hope it help you.
NIdaa, your essay will only score a 4 in this instance because of certain problems in your presentation. The first problem, is that you have created redundancies in the essay. You already indicated in the opening paraphrase that you view this as a negative development. Do not say "I do not this trend positive in any way" because that tends to be confusing. Just say it directly as the prompt instructs, "I see this as a negative development for reasons I will explain below." Game, set, and done. Always aim to write clearly because of the coherence and cohesiveness scoring considerations. You don't need to repeat your point of view within the essay body paragraphs. The only time you should repeat your point of view is in the concluding paragraph as part of the summation presentation. Your conclusion is incorrect as well because you continue to discuss additional, under developed discussion reasons for your point of view. This section should only repeat the prompt topic, your point of view, and the short list of reasons for your belief. That is what you will be scored on. As of now, this is an open ended essay, which will lower your score to even lower than a 4. Basically, this essay will not pass the test. Do not try to write too many words. Writing the minimum of 250 is fine because that will leave you with enough time to proof read and edit your paper before you submit it. Remember, you are being scored not on the number of words you are writing, but on your ability to use the English language in expressing yourself clearly to the reader. If the reader can understand everything you are trying to say, then you have accomplished the task of the essay. As of now, you still need to do a lot of work in terms of learning English sentence construction and vocabulary meaning before you can achieve that.
*Your friend is coming over to stay with you. However, you will be away on vacation for a month. Write him/her a letter and say:  
  
how to get the keys to your flat  
how to operate the equipment in the flat, and  
suggest a few places of interest to visit  
You should write at least 150 words.*  
  
my exam date 12 May, pls correct my letter. my taget is 7 band  
  
## One month vacation

  
  
My Apurbo,  
  
I hope you well. As I have informed you regarding my one month vacation when you will stay at my place. I am sorry for being unable to attend you on those days for that. Anyway, you need to collect my flat keys from Mahbub who lives at flat 203. Actually he has informed about your visit.  
  
However, during staying, you might face little difficulties. Firstly, sometimes the water geezer turns off automatically, so you might have to check it before using. Another is that the gas heater is out of order, but you can use another oil heater. The other equipment are quite good in condition to run.  
  
If you get spare time, you might visit the Aquarium as well as the new Market. In fact, these places are not far from where I live. Expecting my arrangement provides you with facilities you need. By the way,it would be glad if you let me know how I assist more.  
  
With love,  
sfiza
@sfiza you have a confusing method of presenting information in this letter. For example, the following statement:  
  
Actually he has informed about your visit.  
indicates that your neighbor told you about the coming visit of his friend. What you want to say is that you informed your neighbor about your friend's visit so the first person pronoun I should be in use here as in "I informed him about your visit".  
  
As I have informed you regarding my one month vacation when you will stay at my place.  
- There is no sense or meaning to this sentence. You informed your friend that the said friend will stay in your place and? There is no subject nor verb to this sentence. It doesn't tell the reader anything. But it does confuse the reader very well.  
  
What exactly is a water geezer? You meant to say faucet right? A faucet is what the sinks at home use for water delivery. A geezer is a queer, odd, or eccentric person. What you are describing is a thing that does not qualify as any of these based on the definition of the word.  
  
You failed to provide instructions to your friend as to how to visit these places of interest that you mentioned. That was required in the prompt as part of the places of interest to visit. Your friend is a tourist and therefore, does not have any idea as to how to get around your place of residence.  
  
Overall, this is terrible work and will not pass the essay writing criteria on any basis.
You recently bought a piece of equipment for your kitchen but it did not work. You phoned the shop but no action was taken.  
Write a letter to the shop manager. In your letter  
- describe the problem with the equipment  
- explain what happens when you phoned the shop  
- say what you would like the manager to do  
  
*please, evaluate my letter based on 4 criteria, and give feedback on that criteria, so that i can understand which part i need to focus more.*  
  
Dear Sir or Madam,  
  
I am writing with regarding the faulty dish washing machine that I purchased from your company recently.  
  
On Friday, 16th April, I bought the appliance which has the code BD064255T. On purchasing, your personnel set up it that seemed to me effective. Subsequently I have found some troubles while I am using it . Even the dirty dishes remain unclean after washing process. This has become an unsatisfactory fact for me.  
  
Immediately I have informed to your customer service for the fact. They assured me that a course of action would be taken to fix this as soon. Actually, there has no such action happened within logical time, so I am disappointed about your services.  
  
Since the machine is still under warranty, it entitles me to ask for replacing as well as repairing. Now I have decided that I would like a replacement of it. I was wondering if you would consider my concern.  
  
I am looking forward to hearing your prompt response.  
  
Yours Faithfully  
Nila
Living Independently  
  
IELTS General Training Task 2  
  
Good day, I am taking an IELTS exam this coming May. Could someone read and tell me what do you think about the essay.  
  
Thank you in advance.  
  
Task:  
  
In recent society, more and more people are trying to live by their own. Is this a positive or negative trend? What is your opinion and share your personal experiences.  
  
Response:  
  
Nowadays, there has been an increasing population of people who would want to live independently. In my opinion, this action has its benefits and drawbacks.  
  
One positive effect of living alone is the independence a person attains. It has been prevalent with people in the current generation the urge to live alone. It gives them the sense of freedom to do whatever they would like to do without having any rules from their parents. Furthermore, independent living takes away the worries of dealing with other people because you only have to deal with yourself. Take young professionals for instance, they would prefer to work at a different location away from their home. It makes them more mature and able to handle life's difficulties on their own. Since hardships dealt alone can lead to a stronger character, this way of living could be beneficial.  
  
On the other hand, certain drawbacks could also effect on this way of living. Living alone and trying to separate with the family could actually weaken family ties. With this, more time is spent with friends which could sometimes lead into being influenced negatively. Because there would be no parents to correct the actions, morality could be tarnished. Another downside of living alone is having no one to rely on if problem arises. For example, when someone is having money problems. Because the person wants to prove his independence, he would solve the problem alone and failures could happen. As human beings, it is innate to find company with other people and this could be a problem when living alone.  
  
To sum up, living independently has its pros and cons. It could lead to more freedom and less worries dealing with other people. It could also lead to weak ties with the family and having to deal with problems independently.
Jommie, this essay suffers from too much discussion. The prompt requires you discuss this statement coming from only one point of view. So you either talk about the opinion in a positive or negative light. You cannot discuss both. Given that mistake, your response will be considered only partially correct and you will get a score somewhere between 3 and 4 for the actual essay. Remember, unless you are asked to specifically discuss both points of view in the essay instructions, all essays are to be discussed as single opinion essays only. While you did an acceptable job of discussing the topic, the prompt deviation is what will prevent this essay from receiving a high score. You must also present a uniform set of sentences per paragraph. Remember the golden rule is 3-5 sentence for every paragraph in the 5 paragraph essay. Follow that instruction and you will be sure to get a better scoring consideration for all your essays.
## Health and fitness

  
  
In this day and age, increasing average weight of people has become a matter of great concern, while the decrease in levels of health and fitness is especially noticeable. Although there are undoubtedly some problems of this trend, measures can be taken to mitigate these potential consequences.  
  
An overweight condition can be attributed to two main reasons: unhealthy lifestyle and the lack of exercise. Firstly, this matter results from the habits of people who are leading a sedentary lifestyle in which people do little or even do not exercise. For example, officers who do 9-to-5 jobs are usually reluctant to do a workout or go to the gym after exhausting working hours at the company. They, therefore, are likely to have to deal with some health problems like obesity or cardiovascular diseases.Secondly, a state of stress and depression which makes people consume so many foods to reduce tension also result in gaining weight. However, if they do not have something to eat, they would probably feel stressed out again.  
  
Consequently, various steps could be implemented for government and individuals to address these problems. The government should invest more in building pedestrian zones and bicycle and cut down on the number of lanes for private cars. In this way, people are encouraged to walk and cycle more, which makes them become healthier and lose weight. This is exemplified that people who walk on a daily basis are supposed to be in a better condition than those who do not do exercises. Referring to individuals, they should follow a balanced diet including more vegetable and less meat instead of eating lots of high-fat, high-calorie comfort foods but not have physical activities.  
  
In conclusion, health and fitness are of paramount importance and it is essential for you to keep a healthy lifestyle.
Jamye, the weakness of your essay lies first, in your overview presentation. Your paragraph restatement contains a run on sentence. Please remember that two separate idea topics must be presented as two separate sentences in order to qualify as part of the GRA consideration for your essay. Using long sentences and commas to separate the ideas does not work to your benefit in this instance. There is also a problem with the under development of your essay presentation. You need to present a completely developed 5 paragraph essay in order to gain maximum scoring in all considerations. With only 3 sentences, your essay will be deemed little developed and thus, will receive low scores in all scoring considerations. It is always in your best scoring interest to present a 5 paragraph discussion composed of 3-5 sentences. Now, since you did not provide me with the original prompt for discussion, I will refrain from commenting on the actual discussion you presented. That is something I can only assess if you give me the original prompt to compare your discussion to. For now, the general observations of the mistakes in your essay presentation will suffice.
***Some people think that planting trees in open space in cities and towns is more important than building houses. To what extent do you agree or disagree?***  
  
## more flora in urban areas

  
  
My timed (40 min) answer (264 words):  
  
It appears that the public prefers to grow trees rather than residential buildings, in empty spots, in a city or a town, as it is considered of more significance. In my opinion, I agree that trees add greater value to cities and towns.  
  
Firstly, cities and towns are bound to be packed with people and cars which leads to air pollution. Scattering trees around would be the easiest way to create cleaner and fresher air. Not only do they help clean the air, but trees are also a great method to enhance the natural beauty of a city or town. In other words, with cities and towns being over industrialised and urbanised, a glimpse of green spots here and there would never be condemned.  
  
With respect to residential buildings, most cities and towns nowadays utilise apartments rather than houses. Thus, if the population is to expand, apartments may increase their number of floors to accommodate for more residents. This method is in fact less costly when compared building a housing area from scratch.  
  
Another point to consider is the possibility of creating a park. If an empty area is large enough, a park can be created with a variety of trees planted. Such a new spot can produce an influx of visitors, moreover helping the economy of the given city or town.  
  
In conclusion, I think that trees are of a greater value to a city or town when compared with residential buildings. Their presence adds an aesthetically appealing element while also aiding on a practical level with cleaner air and perhaps an improved economy as well.  
  
ps. I would appreciate a rough band score. On another note, I thought my writing and overall ideas presented not on par with my usual writing. I think this was because I timed myself...Thank you in advance!
am also going to take IELTS exam in near future.might be i am wrong but here are some mistakes I found in your essay :)  
  
MENTION REASONS IN YOUR INTRO FOR YOUR BOTH BODY PARAGRAPHS.YOU SAID YOU AGREE WITH THE IDEA BUT YOU DIDN'T MENTION REASON.  
  
WHERE IS YOUR BODY PARA 2?TRY TO WRITE TWO PARAGRAPHS FOR TWO MAJOR REASONS WITH GOOD EXAMPLES.  
  
Another point to consider is the possibility of creating a park. If an empty area is large enough, a park can be created with a variety of trees planted. Such a new spot can produce an influx of visitors.Therefore, helping the economy of the given city or town.  
  
moreover is used when you are introducing a new point.  
  
repetition of town and cities.use synonyms  
  
conclusion is good!  
  
MY GRAMMAR AIN'T GOOD.I CAN NOT GIVE YOU BANDS AS I AM A LEARNER TOO :)  
YOUR VOCABULARY IS GOOD! :)
Thanks for your comment!  
I did notice a repetition of "cities and/or towns" but didn't know what to replace it with.  
As for paragraphing... its basically: intro -> para1(clean air+beauty) -> para2(less costly) -> para3(park) -> conclusion  
Also, I didn't mention my reasons in the intro as I am following "ieltsliz" format for a possible band score 9 essay. Check her website out, it's really helpful.  
  
"moreover is used when you are introducing a new point." It doesn't sound right for me to start a new paragraph with "moreover"
it seems to me that this writing is overall satisfactory. However, the writing would gain a high score if some problems are fixed such as the structure of writing and the collocation of words.  
  
1. Structure  
  
"With respect to residential [...] area from scratch."  
  
It would appear that the sentences above might not be meaningful on your writing because you should not provide the solution of overpopulation. By contrast, if you still intend to explain it, you can write it in body paragraph 2. It would be easier to understand the main topic that you write in each paragraph.  
  
As @maryam syed mentioned before, you should consider in terms of writing style of writing task 2. You can search it on ebook that other websites provide.  
  
2. Collocation  
  
There are words which are collocated wrong, such as "enhance" and "utilise". The former is not suitable with "natural beauty", while the latter is not suitable with "apartments". You are advised to check the appropriate collocation in order to look more natural in the way you write.  
  
I do appreciate your good-used grammar. There is probably no grammatical mistake on your writing.
Thanks for your comment!  
It never occurred to me how paragraph 3 went slightly off topic. Timing myself on my first attempt was a terrible decision. I was adding extra random ideas to hit at least 250 words. I ended up having no time to read through what I had written as half of the time went on me counting my words...As for the collocation issue, I agree with your comments. On another note what is the name of the ebook you recommend?
Serena, you will score a total of 4 with this essay because your response is only minimal. Your response is tangential and does not appropriately respond to the criteria set for the response in the original prompt. The discussion instruction is asking you for an emotional response that gives a degree of agreement with the statement. This is when you should be responding in a manner that indicates either a total or partial agreement or disagreement with the topic. Instead, you responded in a simple manner indicated by a simple point of view essay. A more appropriate response for this would have been:  
  
*For several reasons that a will be discussing in this essay, I find that I am in total agreement with the previous statement.*  
  
You have to work on the coherence and cohesiveness of your essay paragraphs. Your ideas are all under developed and under discussed. This means the reader is left confused and wondering about the point of your statements. You can't jump around from topic to topic in the paragraph or expect single sentence explanations to suffice. Complete the 5 sentence requirement with the following representation per paragraph:  
  
1. topic sentence  
2. explanation sentence  
3. additional reasoning  
4. example sentence  
5. explanation of example  
  
There is no excuse for your writing to not be in alignment with the prompt requirements. You are expected to come to the testing center prepared to take the test, regardless of time constraints in your writing. You cannot use the excuse that your writing was not on par because you timed yourself while writing. Timing yourself is the appropriate method of preparing for this test. Learning how to respond properly to the questions has nothing to do with time limitations. Read other examples of well written essays in this forum. Don't make excuses for your mistakes because excuses will not help you pass in the actual test. There is no scapegoat when you discuss the essay in the actual test in a manner that does not follow the prompt requirements.
## Discuss both views and give your opinion.

  
  
TASK  
Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of the society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this.  
  
Discuss both views and give your opinion.  
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.  
  
Answer  
Some people believe that parents should be responsible for teaching their children what polite and good behaviors are. However, on the other side, people think that teachers would teach student about behaviors. In my opinions, learning both in family and in the school is important and we can not ignore one of them.  
  
First, most human begins their life and communicates with people from family. Then, Parents are always the first human children see. Naturally, children learn action, behavior, and attitude from parents before taking education. Therefore, parents should be a good model of the society, because children would imitate their parents. Secondly, the primitive education affects children's mind most massively and even in their lifetime. For example, if parents treated their children badly and punished them with violence, children might use the same way to treat with other people.  
  
However, school use the different methods to teach children how to be a good member in the society. Teachers not only teach children knowledge but also lead them to stay on the right road. By making friends, children would face with different kind of children and more complicated situations that they have ever met before. Therefore, when they feel frustrated and confusing, teacher can give them some suggestion to help them figure out and learn by mistake.  
  
In conclusion, parents can teach the basic and potential behaviors and attitude, and teacher help children solve the problem about relationship and wider behaviors. Children might go wrong if one of the characters do not serve as a ideal role. Therefore, I think that both parents and teachers are necessary.  
  
Please give me some suggestion to help me improve mu writing part.Thank you very much!
Chi, there are two major mistakes in your essay that you need to be aware of. The first, is that you are not taking the TOEFL test but an IELTS test so giving your specific opinion at the end of the opening paragraph is not recommended / allowed. The second, is that you need to discuss both points of view separately and then offer a paragraph about your personal opinion. You did not do that in this essay.  
  
The opening paragraph is meant to showcase your English comprehension skills and ability to explain discussion points in your own original way. That is why the IELTS test does not allow you to present a personal opinion right off the bat. Each paragraph is limited to 5 fully developed sentences each. Which means, your personal opinion needs to be built up within the 3 paragraph discussion body instead of being a simple mention at the end of the opening paraphrase. That mistake will cost you tremendously in the TA scoring. The fact that you did not properly discuss your own point of view, after the discussion of both sides of the issue, will also drag down your TA score further so you may not be able to score highly enough in the remaining criteria to pull up your individual scores to a total passing score when combined.  
  
The discussion format is:  
1. Opening paraphrase  
2. POV 1  
3. POV 2  
4 . Personal POV  
5. Summarized conclusion  
  
Remember that format when discussing the 2 opinion, one personal point of view essay. That format never changes for that discussion.