dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
**The diagrams below show the design for a wind turbine and its location.**  
  
The pictures illustrate the feature of wind plants and where they are applied. It is noticeable that the machine which is operated in high hill will produce higher megawatts. Meanwhile, they have the same type of equipment wherever people install them.  
  
The wind plant consists of several importance components such as a blade, wind sensor, generator and computer. The wind generates blades are made from fiberglass or wood to rotate. As its movement, the generator starts to produce electricity almost 1.5 megawatts. Meanwhile, the wind speed and its direction are detected by the sensor which is applied to blades. The computer which is operated below wind turbine will control the movement of blades follow the wind direction.  
  
However, the wind turbine is not only able to install in grassland but also in different places such as in coastal sea and in highland. If it is operated in top of mountain, it will produce higher amount of electricity which is 100 kilowatts
Hi, there are several mistakes.  
  
1.The wind ~~generates~~ causes blades ~~are~~which made from fiberglass or wood to rotate ---improper word. the wind generate blades?  
  
2.The wind plant consists of several ~~importance~~important  
  
3.Meanwhile, ~~the wind speed and its direction are detected by the sensor which is applied to blades.~~ ---> no make sense, improper sentence. Logically, if you put sensor in the blades, of course the sensor also rotate and has the same movement with the blades. So, what the function of the sensor when you put sensor in the blades? correct me if i wrong.  
  
4. If it is operated in top of the mountain,  
keep writing and break a leg!
Hallo Lincon, This is my advice for you, hope it can help you. feel free to correction me too.  
  
The pictures illustrate ... >> **I think your introduce is better like this** (The pictures show a wind turbine and it is optimal location to generate electricity from wind )  
  
The wind plant consists of ... >> The wind turbine consist of high steel tower where all another parts are installed on it. Another parts are blades which made by fibre glass, and even wood.  
  
When you write don't forget to write at least 150 words..  
please you must reduce your error grammatical
**The bar chart below shows shares of expenditures for five major categories in the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom, and Japan in the year 2009**  
  
A Comparison of the proportion of five main subjects in expenditures in four different countries, covered by percent in 2009 is revealed in the bar chart. Overall, it is immediately apparent that "housing" category in United States was higher proportion of expenditure than others and the percentage of expenditure due to "health care" subject in the United Kingdom was smaller than others in 2009.  
  
To begin with, there were two aspects that had percentage of expenditure at under 8 percent in each countries. Firstly, Canada and Japan had similar of proportion of "health care" category at four percent. Besides, the percentage of expenditure because of "health care" in The United States was four times higher than in The United Kingdom (2 %). After that, "clothing" category in Japan and The United States had similar proportion at four percent. Then, Canada that had the percentage of expenditure was one percent greater than in The United Kingdom (six percent).  
  
On the other hand, there were three categories that had percentage of expenditure bigger than others. Firstly, the proportion of expenditure due to food in Japan was higher than others at 23 percent and it was followed by The United Kingdom, Canada and The United States at 20, 15 and 14 percent respectively. After that, the percentage of "housing" category in The United States was greater than others at 26 percent also Canada and Japan just had gap one percent at 21 and 22 percent particularly. Besides, the Canada was bigger than others at 20 percent. In contrast, others just had the proportion of "transportation" category at under 18 percent.  
  
*   
*question*
Hello Willy!  
Allow me to give you some suggestions :)  
  
... in United States was ~~higher~~the highest proportion of  
  
Besides, the percentage of expenditure because of " health care" in The United States was ...  
  
Then, Canada that had (...) in The United Kingdom (six percent)  
Unclear sentence, you may check it again.  
  
Firstly, Canada and Japan had ...  
Firstly, the proportion of expenditure ...  
Avoid to explain something by using same style of sentences.  
  
~~After that~~Thus , the percentage of "housing" category ...  
  
Instead of using those words repetitively, I suggest you these similar words.  
Food = Groceries  
Housing = Accommodation  
Clothing = Dress needs  
  
Hope it helps you :)
Hi Wily, I would like to share a few suggestions for you to improve this analysis.  
  
- A Comparison ~~of the proportion of~~between five  
- main ~~subjects in~~ expenditure~~s~~subjects in four different countries,  
- covered ~~by percent~~ in 2009 and is measured in percentage is revealed in ...  
- Overall, it is immediately apparent that the "housing"  
- ~~was~~has higher proportion of  
- expenditures than others ...  
- ~~was~~is smaller than ...  
  
- ... were two aspects ~~that had percentage of~~for this expenditure at ...  
- in each ~~countries~~country .  
- First~~ly~~ , Canada and Japan had similar of  
- proportion ~~of~~for the "health care" category  
- ~~After that, "clothing"~~The clothing category in  
- ~~Then,~~ Canada ~~that~~ had the percentage  
- of expenditure ~~was~~that is one percent  
- greater than in The United Kingdom at 6%~~(six percent)~~ .  
  
There you have it Wily, one thing that you need to work with in your sentence construction is the tenses, plural and singular, the unit of measurement that you use should also be observed from the beginning of the analysis until the end.
**(Summary Article) Apple Has a New Way to Get a Cheaper Iphone**  
  
In 2016, As we know Apple, The Company which knowns as produced iphone, macbook, ipod, ipad. It has announcement will sell refurbish Iphone for the first time in nearly a decades. So, its costumers who want buy iphone but didn't enough money can buy and saving their money, because refurbish iphone will sold cheaper than new iphone. In fact, Apple never sold refurbished iPhones at retail since 2007. The company has sophisticated robot, it called Liam. The robot can systematically remove components in iPhone, then reused the good component to other units. Like brand-new iPhones, the refurbished handsets Apple is selling with new batteries and outer shells. So customer don't worry to buy refurbish iphone, because Apple also give one-year waranty for all customer who buy refurbish iphone
The robot can systematically remove components in iPhone, then reused the good component to other units.  
**how similar is that with***"The company even has a sophisticated robot, named Liam, that can systematically remove components ..." **i found in fortune.co...**  
  
**also,***  
  
Like brand-new iPhones, the refurbished handsets ...  
. **for** "Like brand-new iPhones, the refurbished handsets Apple is selling come with new batteries and outer shells. They also come with a one-year warranty" **from the same article**  
  
**at first, make sure that you paraphrase well!**  
  
**overall, you are quite careful on singular/plural issue, however, there is a severe problem in sentence structure that impede communication.****this also can be caused since you did not fully understand the sentence then rearrange its structure rather than properly paraphrase it.**  
  
*In 2016, As we know Apple, The Company which knowns as produced...* --> As we know, Apple which as the producer of Iphone, Macbook, Ipod, and Ipad, announced the plan to sell refurbish Iphone for the first time for this nearly a decade since it started.  
  
**the same problems like sentence structure, word formation issue, and punctuation are presented on whole of your summary. revise it. do not forget to only summarize article from the recommended sources**
Hi alfin, let me give you some comments  
  
1. which knowns as ~~produced~~producer from iphone, macbook  
  
2. It ~~has announcement~~had been announcedthat~~will~~would sell refurbish  
  
3. So, ~~its~~the costumers who want buy iphone  
  
4. who want to buy iphone but didn't have enough money  
  
Thank You  
Keep Writing
**Question**  
  
**Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both school and parents are responsible for solving this problems.**  
**To what extend do you agree with this statement?**  
  
**Answer**  
Nowadays, most of children in elementary school have a habit like always uses handphone. Even, almost every parents gives handphone to their son. Numerous children use their handphone for bad activity such as watch and save pornograph in their handphone. In fact, 70 percent children have been watched or seen pornograph since elementary school. In my view, it's tremendous dangerous because according research that pornograph can ruin the brain human and can alter habits after see it. Therefore, education institution and parents must role for solve this problem.  
  
Firstly, Education regarding pornograph must start from family. Parents must tell to their children about pornograph can harm them. Furthermore, they also must prevent with no let their children alone when use handphone and better if parents only allow their children play with handphone in weekend and always remain to accompany their children.  
  
Secondly, school also support their student when at school. However, when children are studying in school, teacher has responsibility to avoid their student from bad affect particularly pornograph. One of solution they can repeatly give them knowledge about pornograph and sex education. It's very important, hence most of children have curiousity about everything. So education institution also must together with parents solve this problem.  
  
Thirdly, society also give bad affect for children. When they has bad friends, probably they wiill follow their friends. They will influenced easily. In contrast, when they have many good friends, it can make them follow they friend's habit. Because that society also determine ways of life to children.  
  
In conclusion, I agree education institution and parents are essensial to solve this problem. They must need to solve this problem together.
Alfin, did you copy your paper from Yuri's essay? Somehow the two of you made the same mistake in referring to handphones as the central theme of your essay instead of opting to do what the prompt is asking you to do. That is to agree or disagree with the statement previously provided in the prompt. You even go on to discuss pornography in the essay. When the actual focus of the response should have been on whether the school and the parents of a child are both responsible for the unhealthy lifestyle of children or not. Band score for task accuracy would be 1 due to prompt deviation. Inability to properly paraphrase the prompt requirements and improper discussion of the topic provided. That is even though your conclusion is in line with the prompt provided. The whole discussion prior to that deviated from the prompt expectations and requirements. Therefore, your failed in the task accuracy component which, as we all know, comprises a great deal of the final score because that is the basis of your English comprehension skills scoring. Failure to comprehend instructions means you do not have the right English intellectual capacity to succeed outside of the English training classroom yet.
hai alfin  
there are several suggestions for you  
hope it helps  
  
Nowadays, most of childrens in elementary school ...  
  
Even, almost every parents give~~s~~ handphone ~~to~~for their son.  
  
... as watch and save pornography in their handphone.  
  
... watched or seen pornography since elementary school.  
... because according to the research that pornography can ruin the brain ...  
... and parents must have role for ~~solve~~solving this problem.  
  
Thirdly, society also gives bad ~~affect~~effect for children.  
  
When they ~~has~~have bad friends, probably they ~~wiill~~will follow their friends. They will be influenced easily.  
Because that society also determines ways of ...  
  
thanks
Hi alfin, let me give some corrections  
  
1. There are some spelling errors  
pornograph ----> pornography  
repeatly ----> repeatedly  
curiousity ----> curiosity  
wiill ----> will  
essensial ----> essential  
  
2. ... a habit like always ~~uses~~using handphone.  
It is double verb on your sentence. There are 'have' and 'uses'. You can change 'uses' into 'using' to avoid from this problem.  
  
3. In fact, 70 percent children have ~~been~~ watched or seen ...  
From the meaning, you should use active form rather than passive.  
  
Thankyou  
Keep Writing
Even, almost every ~~parents~~parent gives handphone to their son (the word "every" indicate singular, so you use only "parent")  
  
such as watch and save ~~pornograph~~pornography in their handphone  
  
... been watched or seen ~~pornograph~~pornography since elementary school  
  
according to research (you missing preposition after "according")  
  
that ~~pornograph~~pornography can ruin  
  
their children alone when ~~use~~using handphone (you must change to gerund form)  
  
Secondly, the school (you miss article)  
One of solution they can ~~repeatly~~repeat give them (infinitive form is modal + V1)  
  
have ~~curiousity~~curiosity about everything.  
  
Thirdly, society also ~~give~~ gives bad affect for children (singular subject)  
  
When they ~~has~~have bad friends (after "they", you must use "have")  
  
probably they ~~wiill~~will follow their friends  
  
They will ~~influenced~~influence easily (remember infinitive form, after "will" must use V1)  
  
parents are ~~essensial~~essential to solve this problem  
  
thank you
The pictures show a wind turbine and it is optimal location to generate electricity from wind. The most significant facts to emerge from the diagram are that there has same parts when built in sea or land.  
  
As can be clearly seen, a wind turbine consist of high steel tower where all another parts are installed on it. Another parts are blades which made by fibre glass, and even wood. After that, wind sensor which measure speed and direction from wind. Then, generate which has output until 1,5 megawatts. All of information from wind sensor are send to computer where it will arrange or adjust blades according data from wind sensor.  
  
Furthermore, position of turbine is determine amount of electricity produced. Hence, wind on and is more strenght than on sea. Domestic turbine on sea also has only 100 kilowatts where a wind turbine on sea spoil landscape. So from picture we know the optimum location is on the land.
***The pictures show a wind turbine and it is optimal location to generate electricity from wind***  
  
"and it is" correct to "and it's"  
  
***Another parts are blades which made by fibre glass,***  
  
correct "another parts are" to "another part is the blades..."  
  
Place your second paragraph first since it introduces the reader what a wind turbine is and how it works. Then explain why the optimal position for the turbine is on land.
Hello Alfin, let me give my correction for you  
  
~~it is~~the optimal location (...) from wind resource  
  
... the diagram are that ~~there~~ it has same parts when built in the sea or land.  
  
a wind turbine ~~consist~~consists of high steel tower (a wind turbine is singlar subject)  
  
where all ~~another~~other parts are installed on it (all indicate the plural, so you must use "other")  
  
~~Another~~other parts are blades which made by ~~fibre~~ fiber glass, and even wood  
  
adjust blades in according to data from wind sensor (after "according" need the preposition)  
  
Furthermore, position of turbine is to determine the amount of electricity produced.  
  
the Domestic turbine on sea  
  
So from the picture we know  
  
thank you
Hi alfin, let me give you some comments  
  
1. Please include the picture to help readers understand about your essay and able to give appropriate suggestions  
  
2. .. that ~~there has~~they havethe same parts ...  
  
3. where all ~~another~~other parts are ...  
another is followed by singular verb, so you are able to change into other or the other  
  
4. ~~Another~~The other parts are blades  
It is same mistake as the previous number  
  
Thank You  
Keep Writing
***Some people think when recruiting, companies should aim to take on people who are innovative and able to work independently while others considered they should recruit people who are able to work in a team and follow instructions. Discuss both views and give your opinion.***  
  
Some people think that solitary and innovative people are the best one to be recruited as employees in certain company while others think cooperative people and always following the instruction can give more beneficial effect in company. in my view, company more needs people who can work in a team than other type persons in as much as it brings about affirmative effect like sharing knowledge and supporting each other in their work.  
  
First of all, recruiting is the essential part to choose the best employees who will develop this company. Choosing independent and innovative people as workers will create competitive circumstance in the office. Moreover, it will bring about novel invention that gives beneficial impact for developing this company. However, it also brings about drawback for company that to be the best one, employees will fight each other. As a result, it will make a broken company.  
  
On the other hand, team work is the essential one in a company due to the fact that it bring about affirmative impact for this company like sharing knowledge. As we know that employees will come from various background and have different knowledge. it will give new invention when they discuss together. Furthermore, all of them will support each other to make it happen. Whereas, following instruction that has been discussed is the important one to achieve the target.  
  
All in all, working together in a team will give beneficial effort for this company like sharing knowledge and supporting each other in their work, and individual people just will give negative impact for a company, eventhough they have a great idea.
Hallo diana.. here my suggestion for you..  
  
... be recruited as employees in certain company  
  
**I think this is my second time two remind you that you need put plural noun after word Certain. Based on Cambridge dictionary, certain has 7 meaning and one of them is particular. For this case in your essay you want to make it in Particular therefore you make it like "certain company". However, it will be correct if you follow it with plural noun like "Certain People" thus you must write in your essay "certain companies".**  
  
Please avoid this grammatical error in your next essay and Good Luck !
Hi Diana, there are several mistakes i found in your summary.  
  
1. ... employees who will develop ~~this~~ the company.  
gives beneficial impact for developing ~~this~~ the company  
what company? twice you mention about this company but not refer to any subject company..  
2. ... recruited as employees in certain ~~company~~companies (plural/singular issues) while others ...  
3.....negative impact for a company, ~~eventhough~~ even though they have a great idea.  
4. individual (singular) people (plural)  
font#FF0000]individual person (check in your Cambridge advance learners)  
  
Keep writing and break a leg!
1. ~~i~~I n my view,the company ~~more~~ needs more people  
  
2. ... about affirmative effect (could you to rewrite this sentence for you, i am so sorry, I did not get the meaning)  
  
3. it brings about affirmative impact  
  
4. your third paragraph do not match with your previous sentence, it explained the different topic, you have to focus more on people who are able to work in team and follow the company's instructions.  
  
note: please pay attention on your grammar. Particularly, subject+verb agreement.
Hi let me give you some comments  
  
1. .. than other type of persons ..  
  
2. ... that it ~~bring~~brings about affirmative impact ...  
  
3. .. to make it ~~happen~~happening ...  
Because there is already verb, hence you need to change 'happen'.  
  
4. ... that has been discussed is ~~the~~ important one ...  
  
Thank You  
Keep Writing
These days, most of adolescent decides to work than continued their study to university. It has occured since a few years ago. They thought when they work will get numerous benefits. In fact, recently a institution which usually survey about that launched a new result that 30 percent student choosed to work after graduated from senior high school.  
  
As we know, when someone decides to work. It has many effect for him, positive or even negative effect. Many benefits for people who work after graduated are they will get more experience and knowledge to work with other people. Then, they earns more money and can help their family. They can increase financial of their family. Furthermore, they will have networking with important person who help him in the future. The last, they obtain excellent skill because the company usually educated them with skill which company need.  
  
However, when adolescent get work and do not continue their study, it can affect to them. There are many disadvantage such as, after they resign and want to continue their education, the university probably reject them because their old are not appropiate to study. And if they can be accepted, they will confuse to follow the class. It can be happen because they accustomed to work and have not knowledge regarding academic. They have lack of ability to solve question of math where they might understand before work.  
  
In conclusion, I think study and work are equal essensial. Although there are numerous advantage and disadvantage where depends someone to choose that.
Hello, let me give my correction for you  
  
It has many ~~effect~~effects for him (because many indicate plural)  
  
Then, they ~~earns~~earn(because the subject is "they", so you must use "earn")  
  
~~more~~much money ("money" is uncontauble noun)  
  
There are many ~~disadvantage~~advantages such as (may indicate plural)  
  
thank you
Hi alfin, let me give you numerous suggestions  
  
1. These days, most of adolescent ~~decides~~decide to work ...  
'most of' should be followed by plural verb  
  
2. when they work will get numerous benefits  
It is double verb, you need to change one of those verbs  
  
3. Then, they earns ~~more~~much money  
money is uncountable so you need to use 'much' as determiner  
  
Thank you  
Keep writing
Monotasking and multitasking are the two things which defferent. Monotasking is skill which focusing only one things, but multitasking is another different skill which able to do or control many things in one time. For the example, mono phone which has one essential function or mono compas is device which has one feature on the adventure. Meanwhile, there is another of skill, supertasker, of the people who are able to manage multitasking field.  
  
Source : TED