dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
**TOPIC:  
Some people think that person can never understand the culture of a country unless they speak the language.  
Do you agree with this opinion?**  
  
There is a bulk of arguments pertaining language is the only way to interpret and to deepen the understanding of culture in a country. However, I partly agree towards this issue and consider that culture is wider than such a language as well as the natural behaviour from a community is the most proper method to grasp the fundamental layer of culture.  
  
Culture is enormously large in types and the language is accurately able to reflect the way of the communities' thinking regarding the area where they live. Although it is only in one country, it could include a large number of traditions relying on the particular location and group of race inside. Taking Indonesia as an instance, this country has almost thousands of ethnic groups yet the Javanese tend to speak more softly than others since this behaviour is influenced by the tradition of the ancestors that most of great kingdoms in this country were from java region. Therefore, by speaking the native's languages, people will find out the details of the cultures that can be traced from the history, daily lives, and personalities.  
  
However, the predominant points of culture understanding are not only from the language but also from other aspects. A culture can be interpreted by socialising to the core part of the culture related to engage in their traditional activities such as dances, ceremonies, and dresses. For example, if a person lives in other countries for a long time until he involves to the natives' tradition, he will have been recognised as a relative for the local people.Hence, a person is going to deepen the knowledge and to be closer to the community.  
  
In conclusion, although language is valuable to use in order that a culture is more understandable, there are an array of key features to acknowledge the culture deeper.
Hi Rizaldo  
Let me give you some correction  
  
... able to reflect the way of ~~the communities~~collective thinking regarding ....  
... particular location and group of the race inside.  
... more softly than others tribes since this behaviour is ...  
... of the culture related to ~~engage~~engaging in their traditional activities ...  
... for a long time until he ~~involves~~adopted to the natives' tradition,...  
  
In conclusion, although (a) language is valuable to use ...  
  
Thank you...
question:  
  
***While some people consider Global Warming to be the most pressing environmental problem which we at the moment, others believe that deforestation as more devastating impact on our world.  
  
discuss both sides and give your opinion.***  
  
This world gets old with responsibility to face the problem in today's era. There are lot of problem running around in our daily life, especially in environment sector. Some people in this world think that global warming is the crucial problem and other the rest of the world say removing forest from large area or as we know that is deforestation is more urgent. My standpoint is both global warming and deforestation are an urgent problem we should tackle.  
  
Global warming is effect from producing of carbon dioxide and myriad of harmful fumes are increasing by human activities. Accordingly, global warming affects the atmosphere to shield less us from radiation of sunlight in our ozone. It increases of The Earth temperature more warm than usual; with high warmth of the Earth is very harm to array of species and habitat of them to adapt with this situation.  
  
Furthermore, deforestation is not less crucial than global warming. It creates losing of habitat of myriad genus of flora and fauna in forest. Mostly deforestation comes from illegal logging and burning, thanks to human will. Deforestation makes production of good gasses are less and destroying of ozone is rapidly happen.  
  
Both of deforestation and global warming are urgent business of human being in today's world. Pick of them which more important than other is wasting time. My standpoint is entire of human being today should tackle this problem rapidly before we are late. We should not be skeptic person to compare one of them, both of them are a major-league point of problem today. Let us make a brand better future for our next generation with contribute to solve these problems.
Hi alfa  
Let me give you some correction  
  
This world gets old with(a) responsibility to face the problem in ~~today's~~(this) era. There are a lot of problem ...  
... world say removing forest ~~from~~in large area or ...  
  
Global warming is an effect from ~~producing of~~ carbon dioxide and (...) fumes which are ~~increasing~~increased by human activities.  
... affects the atmosphere ~~to~~as a shield less us from ...  
It increases ~~of~~off The Earth temperature more (...) Earth is very harm ~~to array~~for a lot of species and habitat of them in order to adapt ...  
  
... of habitat of myriad ~~genus~~species of flora and fauna in the forest.  
  
We should not be skeptic sceptic person to compare one ...  
... generation with contribute to ~~solve~~solving these problems.  
  
Thank you...
Hello Alfa7  
there are some advice to you, pay attention if you wish  
  
There are lot of problem(s) running around in our daily life  
**....you have to write problem with s because you use there are** that give indication with *plural subject*, and you use a lot of that have meaning *large number*  
  
Global warming is effect ~~from~~ producing of carbon dioxide ...  
**.........the collocation of effect is on/of** , so you should change from with on/of  
  
It increases ~~of~~ The Earth temperature ...  
**.....you no need to use preposition (of)**
**TED summary- Do Schools Kill Creativity**  
  
Ken Robinson declared about the importance of creativity in education. Children may be lost in a lot of mistakes while they trying something new in order to search for their talent. The fact that if you are not preparing yourself to be wrong you will never come up with the original. Educations whole the world have a high standard. In the past, if people don't have a degree so they will not get any job, your major determine your occupation. But now, even children have a degree it does not guarantee their future, this is inflation of educations. University's system designed to measure scholar intelligence by entrance exam, so if you are good at school it doesn't mean you can joint to the university. In 30 years later, UNESCO predicted that there will be more graduating from university more than the history. People have to discover the talent then chose the best way to improve it. Parents have an obligation to lead their children to find it. Every pupil should see their creativity capacity helped by parents, so they can reach the right goal in the future
Hi Fauzyahutami, I want you obtain some suggestions from me  
  
here we go  
  
... come up with the original. **[you need some conjunction in here, namely "While"]** Educations **in** whole **of** the world have ...  
..., if people ~~don't~~**[please do not reducing your words in writing]** have a degree so (...) any job, **[you need some conjunction in here, namely "While"]** your major ...  
  
University~~**'s**~~ system designed to (...) good at school it doesn't **[please do not reducing your words in writing]** mean you can ...  
... the best way to improve it. **[you need some conjunction in here, namely "While"]** Parents have an obligation ...  
  
note: keep writing and go ahead
Hi Fauzi  
Let me give you some correction  
  
The fact that (,) if you are not preparing (...) with the original (idea) . Educations ~~whole the~~in the whole world have ...  
... if people ~~don't~~do not have a degree so ...  
... their future, this is an inflation of educations.  
... it doesn't mean you can ~~joint~~join to the university.  
... from university more than any year in the history.  
... the talent then ~~chose~~choose the best way to improve it.  
  
Thank you..
**Some people think that a person can never understand the culture of a country unless they speak the language.  
Do you agree with this opinion?**  
  
Recently, some people think that when we want to learn abroad culture, we have to master the language first. Understanding the native language from that country is able to make our studies easier, but personally I strongly disagree that we are forbidden to learn local culture before we can speak local language fluently.  
  
To begin, supporters of this issue argue that speaking the local language is the main pre-requirement to know the local culture. Firstly, by understanding the native language, people can interact more intimately with the local inhabitants. This is because local inhabitants usually can not speak other language so when we can speak with their language, we can understand their explanation, of course we also can explore the local resources about the culture. Another benefit is that we can learn the culture through an independent way. This is because we can travel alone around that country to explore the culture without using the guide or expert.  
  
However, language has not to be a limitation. This is because, nowadays, there are several resources about the other country's cultures that have been translated into the various language, so we can learn with our mother language. For instance, in this cutting-edge era, most of people who want to know about the cultures of the other countries, can find the resources from the internet using their sophisticated gadget. They only have to type the key words even without go to everywhere. As a result, people do not need to go abroad or learn abroad language and if they want to study about the cultures, they can learn every where and every time.  
  
To sum up, understanding the local language gives many merits to learn local culture. However, in my point of view, learning novel cultures not only have to master the language first, but also it can be learn by using the internet tools and translated books.
Hello,  
Hope you doing well, lemme give you some suggestion  
  
==> ... before we can speak (the) local language fluently.  
  
... usually can not speak other language(s) so when ...  
\*you already mention the reasons, better yet if you give at least one example using 5W1H to sharpen your view  
\*you can add more reason from another view to strengthening your opinion  
  
.., most of(the) people who want to ...  
\*you have done great, you complete your view with explanation, example and result  
  
==> ... gives many merits to learn(ing) local culture.  
... but also it can be learn(ed) by using the internet ...  
  
Good luck and keep writing :)
One way to restore our body and mind is traveling. This is because experiencing favorable place can raise our joyful. Besides, traveling becomes a perfect time for restarting our busy daily activities and losing our weary. Spending leisure time in weekend in or out of our environs brings spirit and inspiration from surroundings.  
  
In addition, having chance to travel a place that we have never gone before is not only about self-reflection, but also meet a new atmosphere. We are able to communicate with native people and learn about their culture. As the result, we can built a new relationship and create useful community.
Hello,  
Hope you doing well, lemme give you some suggestion  
  
==> ... body and mind is traveling(travelling) . This is because experiencing favorable(favourable) place can raise our joyful. Besides, traveling (travelling) becomes a perfect time ...  
  
Spending leisure time in (the) weekend in or out of ...  
==> In addition, having (a) chance to travel a ...  
As the result, we can built(build) a new relationship ...  
  
\*you did some typo, you have to watch your words  
\*better yet if you explain more so reader will understand your summary clearly  
  
Good luck and keep writing :)
Hi Ucha,  
  
Your writing is actually just a good one, you have your ideas inside of your head about traveling. Related with that, in the case of your development it will be important if you have more lexical resource to support your ability in writing.  
  
In addition, this is few suggestions for you:  
  
... body and mind is traveling.  
... body and mind condition is with traveling.  
  
... perfect time for restarting our busy daily activities ...  
... perfect time for restarting from our busy daily activities and losing our weary.  
  
Spending leisure time in weekend in or out of our environs brings ... .  
... in weekend either in or out of our environs will bring spirit and inspiration from surroundings.  
  
Good luck.
**TED - School Kill Students' Creativity**  
  
Sir Ken Robinson in his public speech shared about how the schools kill children's creativity. One important thing to keep in our mind is creativity has essential part education as literacy. Therefore, all the students should be treated as same status. Robinson then argued that most of schools have determined the same statement about the range of school subjects. They put mathematic and language as the top position while students' talent such as in music and drama were in less portion. As a matter of fact, this is the reason why schools today do not develop their students' creativity.  
  
Another factor that affect why teacher tend to force their student in science. This is because the point of view about entering university mostly required the highest of academic achievement. As the result, education system allows the students focus on it. So, their skill and ability in art tend to declining.
Hello,  
Hope you doing well, lemme give you some suggestion  
  
==> ... should be treated as (the) same status.  
... that most of (the) schools have determined ...  
==> Another factor that affect(s) why teacher tend(s) to force their ...  
==> ... ability in art tend to declin(e)~~ing~~ .  
  
\*you already explained the reason why schools can kill creativity clearly, better yet if you mention the comparison between the condition in this present time and in the past  
  
\*you can also mention the bad side of the death of creativity  
  
you've done great  
Good luck and keep writing :)
Hi Ucha,  
I have some advice for you  
  
One important thing **that we have** to keep in our mind (...) part **of** education as literacy.  
... should be treated ~~as~~**with the** same status. Robinson ~~then~~ argued that most of ...  
  
... affect why teacher ~~tend~~**tends** to force their ...  
... ability in art tend to ~~declining~~**decline**.  
  
Thank you  
Hope it helps :)
Hi Uca MSN , I want you to obtain some suggestion from me  
  
here we go:  
  
... about how the schools kill**ing** children's creativity. One **of the** important thing**s** to keep in our mind is creativity **[you need some conjuction in here]** has essential part ...  
  
**be careful about double verb  
you should use noun clause of quantity if you want to say "one of the..."**  
  
Therefore, all **of** the students should be ...  
As ~~a~~**the** matter of fact, this is ...  
  
~~This~~**It** is because **of** the point of view ...  
  
note: **keep writing and go ahead.**
*The media pay too much attention to the lives and relationships of celebrities such as actors, singers, or footballers. They should spend more time reporting the lives of ordinary people instead.  
  
To what extent do you agree or disagree?*  
  
Nowadays, prominent people not only act as the people who just singing and acting in the podium, but also become the role model of society. In response to that phenomenon, many mass-media use it as their opportunity to attract attention from many people. Media look like publish everything that occurred between celebrities to boost their ratings among watchers. Unfortunately, as a result of media ambitious project, they often forgot that there are many infamous people that have more inspiring story and not as popular as the artist. I tend to be agree if media give space to unwell-known people for showing their daily life.  
  
First of all, actors still famous even though without too much exposing by media. There are still a lot of people that need media to help them reach the dream. For instance, today many children cannot continue their education because of the lack of money. They select to work in the early age for helping their parents fulfil their daily needs. Imagine if the media use their power to report in and spread it to all over the world, it will make people give many donation and doing charity activities for helping poor people. In contrast, it will have less benefit if they use all of their time for publishing famous people's daily activities.  
  
Secondly, today some artist sometimes report the media to the legal entity because of their disappointing of media publication. For example, usually media exaggerate some celebrities' accident for viral purpose. Consequently, they must give much compensation to the artist to avoid them prosecute into police. In contrast, some media create program that give many chances to ordinary people for showing their talent. It also gives results of increasing the popularity of the media. It was proven that different method can produce the same result, even more useful.  
  
In conclusion, it is not bad if media still report many famous people's daily activities. But it looks better if they give many spaces for infamous person to show their talent and real condition especially when they need some help.
Overall, I think that the structure is good enough.  
Introduction, body1 body2, conclusion.  
However, the idea is under-developed.  
The first paragraph could be started in your second sentence. Because it focuses to tell the benefits of media exposing infamous people.  
The second paragraph is going a bit off topic. I could not grasp what are you trying to achieve or tell the reader. Is it the disadvantages of media exposing famous people or the advantages of talent show?  
  
And the conclusion, since you did not mention any positive perspective of media exposing famous people, therefore you should be more bold concluding that media should not expose famous people too much.  
  
Here are the grammatical and vocabulary suggestions I took notice.  
1st paragraph  
-Media look like  
I suggest "media looks like" or "media likes to"  
  
2nd paragraph  
-reach the (their?) dream  
-They select (choose/prefer) to work  
  
Good luck on your IELTS. I know it is hard to do the writing in such short time.
Hello faiz! I will give you some opinions about your essay.  
  
(1) Media look like publish everything that occurred between ...  
*The media are more concern to publish about everything that happens with celebrity than another to boost their ratings among watchers.*  
(2) Unfortunately, as a result of ~~media~~**the** ambitious project **of media**, ~~they~~ often forgot  
(3) I tend to be agree if media give space to unwell-known people for showing their daily life. **activity or amazing story**  
  
(4) There are still **a lot of** people that need ...  
*Sorry if I am wrong, but you should avoid 'a lot of' on your essay.*  
*There are still many people who can be helped by the media to achieve their dream*  
(5) For instance, today many children cannot continue ....  
*You have to give your emphasize on your writing, such as mention that the children have possitive purpose so people want to help them.  
For instance, today many children **who have a strong desire to study at school**, cannot continue their ...*  
(6) In contrast, it will have less benefit if they use all of their time for ...  
*This sentence should be in the body 2 and irrelevant. Just give a brief summary about your idea.*  
*So that, people who come from ordinary family can be helped by rich society through the media*  
  
(7) In contrast, some media create program [...] produce the same result, even more useful.  
*You can put these sentences in body 2 to give another reason about the media should pay more attention to ordinary people than celebrities. You can use multiple idea.*
First of all, actors **ARE** still famous even though ~~without too much exposing~~**THEY ARE NOT EXPOSED MUCH** by media.  
  
~~There are still a lot of people that need media to help them reach the dream~~ . **IT IS BECAUSE MANY PEOPLE RESPECT TO THEIR FAVORITE FIGURES TO KEEP APPEARING IN SOCIAL MEDIA**.  
  
... for helping their parents ~~fulfil~~**TO FULFIL** their daily needs.  
  
... it will make people give ~~many donation~~**MUCH DONATIONS** and doing charity activities ...
Hi Faizunaa17 , I want you to obtain some suggestion from me,  
  
here we go:  
  
... many mass-media use ~~**it**~~**they** as their opportunity to ...  
  
**be careful for you pronoun**  
  
Media look**s** like publish everything that (...) boost their ratings **to obtain** among watchers.  
  
**1. you can replace your words with "Media publishes like everything..."  
2. there are two verb in one sentence.  
3. between should following with "and"**  
  
Unfortunately, as a result of media ambitious project, they often forgot**[where is the verb goes???]** that there are many infamous...  
  
First of all,[**is not right phrase; is not your first idea** ] actors still famous even ...  
There are still a lot of people that need media to ...**[your explanation is not enough, too bias]**  
Imagine if the media use**s** their power to ...  
  
Secondly, today some artist**s**~~sometimes~~ report the media to ...  
In contrast, some media creates program that give many chances ~~to~~for ordinary people for ...  
  
you should sumarize your idea in your conclusion, please
***Some people decide to start their own business instead of working for a company or organization. Do the advantages for people working for their own business outweigh the disadvantages?***  
  
In the present time, thanks to the internet access, many people especially the young prefer having their own business than working as an employee. Although some believe being entrepreneur has some merits, I am more likely to argue that its demerits have to be more paid attention.  
  
Admittedly, having own occupation can make people's lives more independent. It is as long as when they work, there is no more pressure from their boss. In short, they work for themselves not for their employers. In addition, individuals' personal quality will develop more than before. Taking an example, people as businessperson will often face more obstacles in their business. As a consequence, they have to be more patient, brief, and active to get each opportunity.  
  
On the other hand, getting higher risk has to be faced by people with starting up their business. This is because many of starters are beginners and have no at all experience to be businesspersons. Therefore, in accordance with the latest study, 20 percent of new entrepreneurs can only survive for the first two-year, and then 50 percent of survivors can continue their own business in 5 years. The main reason of this case is most of beginners prefer to choose stopping their business because they are hard to earn income instantly. Another disadvantage of being entrepreneur is people might be difficult to find loyal consumers. This is because many people tend to buy something with famous brand. Therefore, new business will vanish little by little.  
  
To sum up, there is no doubt, disadvantages of having own business are more than advantages while not few succeed in their own business. However, people deciding to be an entrepreneur should consider their strength, weakness, and opportunity before starting up their business.  
  
**(292)**
... can make people's ~~lives~~**life** more independent. It is ~~as long as when they work,~~ there is no ~~more~~ pressure from ~~their~~ boss **if we are working in own business**.  
  
This is because ~~many of starters are beginners and have no at all experience to be businesspersons~~**they begin to build a career without having an experience before**.  
  
... most of beginners ~~prefer to choose stopping~~**be opting to stop**their business because ...