dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
The summary overview should contain at least 2 sentences. This single sentence should be divided into 2, with the addition of the information reference list. A total of 3 sentences. Such a presentation would create a truly informative summary paragraphwith proper reference points. The reference list may again be presented in the trending paragraph for discussion outline purposes.  
  
There is an instance of a missing period in the presentation. That shows a lack of final editing on the part of the writer that will lead to a GRA deduction. The writer also limits the punctuation usage to a comma and period. Varied punctuation usage such as a semi- colon, parenthesis, and others would have increased the GRA consideration.
***Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems.***  
  
## Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

  
  
Unarguably, environmental deterioration is happening at a startling pace. Many individuals warn that the vanishing of various species is a major hurdle for humans, however, it is argued by others that mankind is facing more pressing issues. This essay is to elaborate on both viewpoints and express my own perspective.  
  
To begin with, there is no denying that human's activities are taking their toll on different species in nature. Worldwide, myriads of animals are losing their habitats due to overexploitation or under severe threat caused by hunting, thus being pushed to the brink of extinction. A telling example is the elephants, who used to abound on the Earth, are now at serious stake as hunters continuously massacred them for their ivory. On top of that, the scarcity of plants is well-documented, since deforestation illegal logging and forest fire continue to pose a threat to forests and jungles that accommodate not only animals but millions of types of trees. The results of this depletion are manifold, including the loss of ecological biodiversity as well as important species that contribute to science and medicine.  
  
Nevertheless, apart from this extinction issue, other environmental problems are all on the rise. First of all, major factors jeopardising humankind are global warming and ocean acidification, which are resulted from greenhouse gas emissions from industries. Not to mention, pollution is accelerating in cities, constituting a huge health hazard. To lesser or larger extent, these environmental dangers have detracted from people's quality of life and render government around the world anxious. Furthermore, it is apparent that natural calamities such as tsunamis, tornadoes or hurricanes, which will deal s lethal blow to areas or countries as occurring, are even worth worrying more about.  
  
In conclusion, I believe that apart from the degradation of the Earth's flora and fauna, there multiple grave problems related to the environment that need dealing with. Therefore, it is high time natural conservation and environmental protection were prioritized.
Do not sensationalize the restated topic. To use a popular reference, that writers interpretation is fake news when compared to the original. The first sentence does not contain any information similar to the original statement. The second sentence contains some prompt references but misleads the reader as there is an incorrect reference to "major hurdles for humans" as opposed to the original "environmental problem" reference. The prompt topic restatement is a total alteration of the original presentation although the last part relates to the original requirements a bit. Only the second presentation is accurate . The writer does not a personal opinion at all even as the prompt requires such a representation upon interpretation presentation.  
  
When a reference to "some people" and "others" is indicated this is a signal GRA scaring will include pronoun usage along with sentence formation, among others. It clearly indicates a comparative deliberation prior to a personal opinion presentation. The writer does not offer a complete picture of his sentence formation and grammar usage abilities due to these missing reference points.  
  
The personal opinion is also presented as a conclusion , which creates an improper response format. That is the 3rd paragraph presentation. The essay does not have a proper conclusion presented. Overall, the response format is incorrect.
*Governments should make laws about people's nutritions and food choice. Others argue that it is their choice.*  
## Discuss both views and give your opinion.

  
  
Whether citizens' nutritions should be controlled by governments remains a subject of heated debate. While many people hold the belief that introducing laws regarding nutritions can help people steer clear of health problems, others argue that it is up to each individual to opt for their food. In this piece of writing, I will cast light on both viewpoints and express my own opinion as well.  
  
On the one hand, there is no doubt that the main merit people can reap from the legislations when they come into effect is the improvement of health. As governments impose a resriction on people's diet in accordance with nutritionists' instructions, not only will people's immunity be enhanced but risk of other diseases is also reduced. Take Japan as an example, it is noted for longevity because most of citizens there go on a balanced diet including a lot of fish and fresh vegetables. On contrary, there is an increase in obesity level in the US due to unhealthy life style of its citizens who are in the habit of consuming a large amount of processed food on a daily basis. Therefore, governments need to regulate individuals' food choice by outlawing some harmful food and encouraging to intake nutritious one.  
  
However, I believe that it goes against the values of governments to force their citizens to do something against their will. Obviously, launching laws to stadardize food consumption falls short of genuine on the ground that each individual has different diet according to financial condition. Thus, sometimes they cannot go strictly by the book because it is not always essential that all walks of life can afford certain kind of food. Moreover, then comes resistment among people, as it is illegal for them to consume their favourite dishes whereas it is such an act of invading human rights.  
  
In conclusion, instead of introducing laws, governments should encourage people to intake healthy food and decision will be up to each individual.
There is no reference to the government wanting to control people's food choices to direct their health.That is a writer's personal opinion that disqualifies the paraphrase in terms of information accuracy. The writer must use only the existing information in that paragraph. The unwarranted opinion maybe used as a part of the personal opinion paragraph.  
  
Both views are not discussed in the essay and only 4 out of the required 5 paragraph format is present. One point of view is not written based on public perception, it reflects only a general opinion based on the writer's perception. Missing from the presentations are GRA scoring related paragraphs that reflect a public opinion based on proper explanation development using correct pronoun references.
## **AS WELL AS MAKING MONEY, BUSINESSES ALSO HAVE SOCIAL RESPONSIBILITIES.**

  
*TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE?*  
  
Businesses have a significant impact on the growth and the development of a country. However, some people generally believed that beside of making a profit, these enterprises are accountable for helping the society. I strongly agree that businesses should have a role in acting for the community.  
  
First of all, it is admitted that by making money, corporations can survive in this competitive world. Companies have to spend a large amount of money on employees and many kinds of taxes. If businesses could not affordable to pay for them, they might go into bankrupt. As the consequence, this would become a burden to the government due to the increase in the unemployment rate. Indeed, making a profit is necessary as it helps develop the economy of a country.  
  
On the other hand, as human beings, businessman and businesswoman are responsible for making the community better. Because running a business also has some negative impacts on things such as the environment. One of the good examples is when producing plastic bags, many emissions from factories are released to the environment, which lead to the pollution. Therefore, finding solutions is one of the duty which businesses have to be accountable for. In fact, everyone has an obligation to develop the society.  
  
To sum up, corporations need to make money in order to remain its business. In addition, they are also responsible for the society is necessary because it is a duty of every single person. By doing this, people would live in a better community while the business could develop constantly.
The opinion response signifies an agreement to businesses needing to have a social responsibilty. The first reasoning paragraph does not reflect a related reason to the aforementioned opinion. In fact, it is not a discussion related to the discussion opinion. It will not recieve a scoring consideration.  
  
The second paragraph is ecology related rather than social responsibility focused. Yet another unrelated response has been provided. Social responsibility is based say, on the way a product affects the mental health of a person. The way a product encourages poor people to buy a product because it is in fashion, even if they have to borrow money to do it. The social responsibility is related to the way a business is directly responsible for the way people lead their lives in relation to the product brand.  
  
The writer understands some, but not all of the topic. The lack of understanding led to the irrelevant / incorrect reasoning presentation.
## the imported food issue

  
  
In this day and age , the delivery for a variety of foods from other areas is becoming much more developed and ubiquitous . In contrast with this improvement, it is widely believed that consuming regional foods brings positive influences on environment and economy . Personally , I believe that the drawbacks of only consuming local foods are more considerable than the benefits.  
  
On the one hand , the consumption of local foods might be said to have certainly disavantage. Local foods are familiar with the resident's meals , they can be appeared in every traditional event , and they become one of the special culture from each area. Those are the reasons why the locals have scores of opportunities to eat their traditional foods ,however, these bring to the citizens sense of boredom and a lack of diversity taste.Foods are not only the determine factors for health but also plays vital role for the emotion. For instance , if Vietnammese people do not have any chance to interact with a wide range of food cultures in the world , they can not have the unusual experience about a fundamental different from the taste and ingredients. Perhaps the collaboration of the other spice with the local foods enables them to enhance the standard of dishes .Moreover, Respectation and exploration a variety of foods around the globe is the best methods to establish and remain the strong relationships with other countries.  
  
On the other hand , it is thought that utilizing only local foods is also have the benefits to the environment and economy . With the environment's view , the delivery for foods have to use numerous of non-biodegradable items for packaging , namely nylon bags and plastic boxes, so consume of these products is harmful for the environment . Futhermore, if the residents want to order foods with transport service , they will have to pay the shipping cost , which depends on the transport distance. A notabe example of the advantages of local foods are people who consume local foods regularly can save a lot of money because the price of regional foods is less cost fortune than the others , and they will not dispose many garbages to the nature.  
  
All points considered . it can be said that shipping foods from other area not only has the advantages of the environment and economy but also creat the negative impact on human's emotion. From my perspective , I lean toward the disadvantages are more significant than the advantages.
The discussion presented becomes confusing to the reader as the writing format contains several eerrors that affect the clarity and defense of the single opinion presentation in the thesis statement. The opinion presented is that there are more drawbacks than benefits. Therefore, 2 justifications for this opinion are required to prove opinion validity.  
  
The writer instead of strengthening his opinion, showed confusion instead, having given reasons for the acceptability of both points of view. This will result in an incoherent discussion presentation because, why would the writer contradict and weaken his own opinion ? was he confused? Did he misunderstand the discussion question? What led to the discussion error ?  
  
The use of a comparative discussion is what led to this essay not recieving full and passing scoring consideration. The discussion is not clear because the opinion presented became questionable due to the contradicting opinion discussion paragraphs.
Your essay clearly shows your carelessness in terms of many typing, grammar and spelling mistakes. I will just fix some of them:  
"*the determining factors*"  
"*a notable example*"  
  
"~~With the environment's view~~"  
Wrong word choice. It should have been: "*From the environmental point of view*"  
With only these mistakes, I'm sure you'll have a really bad Gr&A score and your overall score will be affected severely.  
  
"Moreover, Respectation and exploration a variety of foods ..."  
This sentence really made me confused. Both its grammar and meaning. I agree that there is a link between food and international relationships, but that is in terms of food trading. But food eating? NO. I dont see any connections.  
  
Remember, examiners do not guess. Please always remember to support your unclear points with a clear explanation.
Hi everyone! I'm a newbie, hope that I can get useful advices from u guys <3  
p/s: I'm studying IELTS writing, can u guys mark this part 2 for me? I dont know exactly which grade I'm in...Thank youuuuu in advance :>  
  
## CHILDHOOD OBESITY IS BECOMING A SERIOUS PROBLEM IN MANY COUNTRIES. CAUSES AND SOLUTION?

  
These days, there is a growing trend in the number of obese children which becomes a great concern to many countries. This essay will examine the main causes and possible solutions to the problem.  
  
There are several reasons for the increasing trend of childhood obesity. One of the principal reasons is about the amount and what kind of food they eat every day. Children these days often eat a lot of fast food such as pizza and spaghetti which are not only high in calories but also saturated fat. If they continue to consume this food for a long time, it may make them overweight. The second reason is that the lifestyles of children are becoming more inactive. It means that they would prefer to stay at home and watch TV or browse the Internet rather than joining outdoor activities, including playing sports and hanging out with friends. As a consequence, they are not able to burn excessive calories and can not maintain a healthy weight.  
  
Some probable solutions that could be suggested to tackle this problem need both parents and children involved. The first solution is that parents should provide their children knowledge about the harmful effects of obesity and the importance of a healthy diet. Moreover, it is also crucial for parents to spend some time attending outdoor activities with their kids. This will helps them to get closer as well as be able to understand each other more. Finally, limited screen time should be set so that children might not spend too much time in front of smartphones or television.  
  
To conclude, the problem of overweight children is caused by various reasons. However, we can gradually solve by some above actions to deal with this concern.
The topic restatement is well developed and does not alter the original topic and concerns. However, simply restating the discussion instructions does not increase the TA score as no straight responses were provided to help show a clear opinion based on English comprehension skills. The questions are meant to provide your discussion summary in relation to the writing instructions. The current paraphrase + response format doesn't maximize the score for that paragraph due to the limited response presentation.  
  
To write a cohesive paragraph, learn to develop connecting sentences or presentations that show a connection between point 1 and point 2. For example:  
  
*The unhealthy food consumption, coupled with a sedentary lifestyle creates the perfect combination for obesity. This inactivity...*  
  
Such a connected transition will help increase the clarity and connectivity of the paragraph discussion.  
  
In the solutions paragraph, the introduction of controlled screen time is not well done.The reason lacks proper explanation development when compared to the first. This is going to lower the score for this section. Remember what I said above about the need to properly connect the discussion points.  
  
As this is your first essay, you should not be concerned with a score yet. Once you have learned to properly write the essays, then scoring can follow. It is too soon to be score centeredin your writing.  
  
\* Limited review provided. Contact us privately for a complete scoring assessment.
## A glance at the given chart illustrates the process of recycling bottles and turning them into clothes.

  
  
Looking from an overall perspective, it is readily apparent that there are 13 parts which began with raw plastic bottles and culminated with the completed clothing.  
  
First and foremost, the collected plastic flasks are transported to the factory by a truck before being sent through a sort machine to cut into small pieces. After being washed with clean water, they are dried under the sunlight for a long time.  
  
In there, they will be boiled at high temperature, then strained into yarn and prepared for being weaved. Subsequently, the products are rolled to transport to the sewing factory and become clothing.  
  
*
When the essay has a minimum word requirement, in this case, 150 words, the writer must meet that requirement. Any less and the essay will be unable to meet a passing score because:  
  
- Penalties will be applied for not meeting the minimum word count  
- The report / description will be deemed lacking in substance due to the under explained creation process.  
  
The main deductions will be in the TA and C + C sections. These types of essay presentations do not have a passing chance because the writer rushed through the writing and failed to double check the presentation for scoring requirement compliance.
## oil consumption in different world lands

  
  
***The graph below shows information about the total oil consumption of four major consumers from 2009 to 2030.***  
  
ANSWER:  
The give line graph compares the four different regions in term of the amount of oil consumed between 2009 and 2030.  
Overall, from 2015, oil consumption in the US and also in Western Europe and Japan is forecast to decline, in contrast to the expected increase in China and Middle East. It is also noticeable that the US was by far the biggest consumer of oil from 2009 until present and it predicted to remain the biggest consumer until 2030.  
  
Standing at approximately 9 million barrels daily the US ranked first in term of the amount of oil used in 2009, followed by that of Western Europe and Japan with nearly 4 million. Meanwhile, the figures for China and Middle East were remarkably lower, just about 2 million per day.  
  
In 2015, even though the US's oil consumption reached a peak of around 10 million barrels, this figure is expected to decrease significantly to just over 8 million barrels in 2030. Beside, before falling to about 3.5 million in 2030, the number of oil barrels consumed in China is anticipated to rise to 4 million in 2025 which make this country become the second biggest oil consumer. In the Middle East, a steady rise in the figures is predicted to reach a peak of 3 million in 2030 while consumption is expected to decrease to 2 million barrels in Western Europe and Japan.  
  
* 
*
2009 is the starting point. Proper reference was made to this in the presentation. However, 2030 is a projection or estimate which not clearly referred to as such in the summary presentation. There is also a lack of the word " is" in reference to the verb reference for future consumption of U.S. oil.  
  
The writer neglected to reference the equal oil consumption for China, along with Western Europe and Japan in 2015. The same consumption among the nations is predicted to happen between the Middle East and Western Europe and Japan as well in 2025. The analysis presented is not very thorough as it missed these comparison points.
## Ryemouth village transformation

  
  
The illustration given depicts the landscape transformation occurring in a village named Ryemouth over the course of around 27 years, commencing from 1995 to this day.  
As can be inferred from the map, it is clear that the village of Ryemouth undergoes a host of dramatic changes. Overall, the repurposing of the village was a company by the introduction of new leisure and transport infrastructure. There was a hotel located at the right corner to the intersection, facing a cafe across the road. To this day, these structures remain intact.  
  
To the north of this area, a golf course and a tennis court have been constructed at the expense of the forest park and the farmland. Other changes include a new road which is running West and is roughly parallel to the seaside road.  
  
In addition, the shops and fish market in the South end have been converted into seaside restaurants and apartments. The fishing port has also been removed, which opens up the beachfront. A car parking facility has also been built to the east of the hotel located on the southeastern region.  
  
*
A review of both images does not provide a village name to the Mader.Where did the name come from? The writer must make it clear that the name of the area was provided in the original presentation. The year estimation is incorrect at 27 years, it has only been 26 years. The transformation is already referenced in the diagram as having been completed, yet the writer makes time references as still ongoing. This is an incorrect presentation as it is written in present tense.  
  
The writer shows vocabulary usage confusion based on homonym references for "a company " (a number of individuals assembled or associated together; group of people.) and "accompany" (to be or exist in association or company with). The English language in tricky when it comes to homonyms, which can result in serious LR deductions.  
  
Beyond these errors, the essay makes creative use of both image presentations resulting in an informative and interesting read.