dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
There are 3 major problems with the restated prompt. The first problem, is that it alters the public opinion idea by using the wrong reference point:   
  
long been a controversial debate  
. There is neither a reference to a controversy, debate, or long term discussion. The topic basis alteration can only result in deductions.  
  
The second problem, is that the reference to  
  
school-aged children  
is made in the discussion. This is an incorrect age range reference as the mention in the original relates to teenagers or young adults. School-age children will never be asked to perform community service.  
  
Finally, the writer jumped directly opinion basis in the last part. Totally skipping the complete keyword response to the question provided. He should have firmly disagreed before laying out the reason why.  
  
The first reasoning paragraph is totally unrelated to his opinion as previously stated. This paragraph should not have been presented since this is a single opinion essay. The writer presented 2 valid supporting opinions in the next paragraph which should have been properly expanded over 2 paragraphs instead. Instead, he will lose points for 2 reasons:  
  
1. The writer gave an unrelated opinion discussion  
2. The writer has an under explained related opinion in the essay  
  
While the sentence structure and word usage will have limited deductions applied, the main scoring areas will receive score reducing deductions.
unpaid community services should be a compulsory subject -> community service is not a subject -> simply " should not be compulsory"  
doing volunteer -> do volunteering/ do volunteer work  
"Considering the concrete gains of unpaid community services, My belief is that it should be a matter of personal preference" This makes no sense as you use the wrong linking device, it should be "Despite the concrete gains of"  
  
"the first and foremost argument is that" - as far as I'm concerned, "first and foremost" is used as an adv, not an adj  
  
- "in the aftermath of of school hours" - aftermath is used for things like war, storm, or accident  
- The idea behind it is that -> The idea behind this is that  
-at somebody's disposal means available for someone to use - you seem to use several advanced phrases in the wrong context.
***The media pay too much attention to the lives and relationships of celebrities such as actors, singers or footballers. They should spend more time reporting the lives of ordinary people instead.***  
  
## To what extent do you agree or disagree?

  
  
There are arguments about the media empowering too much attention to the celebrities' personal life and they should reduce that by increasing the news of the ordinary people. In my personal point of view, I find myself disagreeable with both above arguments due to the following examples.  
  
On the one hand, social journalists often prioritize hot and up-to-date events in the entertaining area which include many related celebrities rather than the famous people's private life. In fact, the media seriously follow the breaking news to get attention from their readers. For example, in sport, the media often focus on reporting a big coming up championship, foreseeing the next winner of a game or how well the strategy of a team is, rather than focusing on the private life of the famous player. In addition, social journalists focus on the stories of successful people in the particular area. These topics often are about their goals and achievements, their admirable lifestyle or their working philosophies which people can learn and can be inspired by. The reporter would rarely ask about the business man's married life or children because it will go off the topic.  
  
On the other hand, spending more time reporting on ordinary people whose lives are little known by anyone will cause a fall in reading rate of the news. Trend-setters' news will definitely be more eye-catching than some random people walking down the street. Readers who are mostly youngsters are more accessible with news about the people they have already known such as a character from a movie they like or famous artist which are so familiar on the social platform. As a result, the media take benefits from their readers and subscribers so they need to provide news that most people are interested in.  
  
In conclusion, I think the media have a duty to report all the important news which can attract their readers the most.
The writer will not receive a passing score for this essay because he failed to meet the discussion requirements as per the provided guidelines. The essay was to respond in a manner that met the extent response in supporting either an agreement or disagreement with the topic. Instead, the writer chose to oppose both sides of the discussion. That is not a qualified response since it is not part of the provided response selections. As such, the essay will be given a failing task score due to non response format compliance. Due to this preliminary score, the succeeding scoring sections cannot help the essay achieve a passing mark since those also contain errors in presentation. Once the writer responds incorrectly to the discussion question, there is no chance that he will gain a passing score for his reasoning presentation. Next time, pick a side to support, even if these are not in accordance with the writer's actual opinion. That is what the response requires and that is what will receive scoring marks per section.
"empowering too much attention to".  
"follow the breaking news"  
I think these collocation does not exist. Your limited understanding of collocation makes your sentences very confusing.  
"both above arguments due to the following examples" -> due to several reasons.  
the first sentence of the instruction is a given background, not an argument and you should focus on the latter sentence. You seem to misunderstand the instruction.  
  
The conclusion has no meaning to me. It does not say why the media should focus on ordinary stories. What if the readers' interest is the celeb's private life?
Criteria for student recruitment of schools is always a difficult issue to set. While some individuals suppose that academic capabilities are the most important factor, a mixture of various capacities are obviously able to evaluate a student much more comprehensively.  
  
On the one hand, academic ability can be good criteria for choosing students. Firstly, students, who get a good mark throughout the process of learning, are usually considered to have a high level of intelligent queries which is an essential and popular scale of assessing human potential. Besides, even above fact is not completely accurate, excellent scholastic possibilities maybe demonstrate that students have put much efforts in their studying, which is utterly an important determinant for success in the future. Furthermore, that this way of choosing student has been implemented for so long proves the valid value of this method. Clearly, using academic abilities is a rational and irreplaceable method, but it is not enough for marking students on the whole.  
  
On the other hand, students have to be assessed by some other scales. To be more specific, each student has their own strengths and weakness, therefore, academic abilities are not the only scale to assess students. For example, some students can have some special skills or talents like singing, drawing and so forth, which no particular scale can evaluate. Besides, having students of different abilities studying together creates opportunity for them to learn from each other and mutually collaborate to make something special in the future. Obviously, the importance is that schools should have an appropriate portfolio of students, which need to ensure the development of both students' education and general schools quality.  
  
In conclusion, both of these two perspectives are reasonable. Even though, integrated assessment method is basically necessary application for schools to choose students effectively.
There are 3 opinions that should be present in this discussion since it is a comparative discussion with personal opinion essay. The 2 public opinions must be discussed in relation to the personal opinion of the writer for each perspective. There must be a supported and unsupported opinion found within the reasoning paragraphs. The lack of perspective clarity in relation to the comparison discussion is missing throughout these presentations. More importantly, the prompt restatement + personal opinion was inaccurately reformatted for this opinion discussion. The original prompt was asking the writer to consider the division of students based on skills and learning abilities or mixed learning capacities. That was not accurately reworded in this presentation. The discussion was in regards to how to spread out the students within a classroom setting based on academic abilities, or not. The restatement was only partly correct in its references.  
  
As such, the essay falls short of the passing requirements for this type of task. While the perspectives discussed are valid, the presentation loses the coherence and cohesiveness required for the presentation since general opinions, rather than comparative public and personal opinions, were presented. The idea representation is unclear to the reader so the essay can only be scored based on partial accuracy and under developed reasoning paragraphs.
## Aquarium, Castle, Zoo, and Festival visitors

  
  
The line graph illustrates the proportion of visitors to Scotland who visited four distinct attractions in Edinburgh, including the Aquarium, Castle, Zoo, and Festival, from 1980 to 2010.  
  
In general, it is clear that the figures for tourists to the castle and zoo increased, while the number of visitors to the festival and aquarium decreased. However, the castle had a higher percentage of visitors than the other locations.  
  
Between 1980 and 1995, the proportion of visitors to the Castle significant rose from 25% to 45%, while this figure fell at the festival by around 5%. After that, there was a gradual decline in the percentage of travelers to the Castle by about 15% from 1995 to 2010. However, the figures for tourists to the festival gradually increased from 25% to 28% during the period shown.  
  
On the other hand, the percentage of tourists to the zoo fluctuated from around 10% to 15% between 1980 and 2000, then it significantly increased and peaked at 20% in 2010. In 1980, the figures for visitors to the aquarium were only 20%. After five years, the proportion of travelers to the Aquarium rose by 15% before it reached below 10%.
The summary overview should have been divided into 2 sentences + the trending statement. The 2 sentences should have represented the image title and the information presentation. The outline of the 4 sections should have been a separate sentence reference. Since there are no other attractions indicated in the image, the writer should not have indicated "including" because there were no other areas to consider coming from the image.  
  
The trending reference needed only the first 2 sentences, the third indicator was not really necessary since it did not support the high and low information requirement for the presentation. It only represented one aspect of one section and could have been better used in the analytical paragraphs.  
  
It is not appropriate to say "On the other hand" when one did not previously refer to "on the one hand". The reference of these phrases being comparative in nature. The references balance out the paragraphs in terms of clarity and cohesiveness. When not used as a pair, the writer does not create an effective connection between paragraphs.
**The table below shows the questionnaire about the opinions of club members and the general public for the new theater in one town in 2012.**  
  
The table illustrates the opinion survey of three evaluation criteria about three factors/ in terms of amenities, information and quality from club participants and society to the newly-built theater in the year 2012.  
  
Overall, it can be observed that the majority of both parties showed their deep contentment with the three surveyed elements while there was a relatively small proportion of people who were pleased and unsatisfactory.  
  
According to amenities, the marvelous rate of quality from club joiners was the most outstanding, at 72%, compared to general citizens at 64% and both accounted for more than half a percent. In comparison, the neutral comments made up 26% from the club, which was 2% more than the community. The figure for grading facilities was substandard came from club membership was the lowest at just 2%, as opposed to society in which quadrupled.  
  
Regarding information, the highest number of positive comments was from dwellers at 66%, followed by the club which was responsible for 54%. The satisfaction level of residents and club members was 30% and 20% respectively, which was 10% apart. In addition, it was witnessed a 2% difference between the 2 factors of bad comments.  
  
Looking at the final criteria in the 2012 survey, club attendees who assessed the quality above all excellent at 88% which was the most significant amount compared to other factors, whilst, locality view at 53%. The quantity of pleasure from the public at 40% was four times more than the club. Meanwhile, it can be seen that bad reviews from two groups of people, including the club and general respectively at 2% and 7%.  
  
*   
*Task 1*
The writer did not perform a proper analysis of the table provided. the representation of the image should have indicated, within 3 different sentences, that the table was divided into 3 parts representative of (indicate the division within the table). The writer was in such a rush to list the information in the summary that she sacrificed the clarity of the sentence presentations, the cohesiveness of the paragraph, and the coherence of the sentences relationships. It is not the kind of summary that would receive a passing consideration.  
  
The trending paragraph also suffers from the clarity problem. Kindly remember that scores are reduced for sentences that cover multiple ideas since these are considered run-on sentences that do not deliver clear analytical thoughts to the reader. One sentence per idea. That is the correct way to approach these paragraph presentations.  
  
Avoid the use of flowery words or exaggerated representations in a task 1 essay. This is an academic or professional report that is meant to be read by a targeted audience. The only professional and academic words to be found here should be in relation to the data presentation, based on the professional or academic exposure of the reader. So the use of words such as "marvelous" and "most outstanding" should be avoided.
## The table below shows the television viewing figures for sports by country, in millions.

  
***Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant***  
  
The table shows the television channels viewing figures for sports in some countries. Those are the number of viewers in some sports in four countries.  
  
In general, there are many differences depend on each country. A lot of American people enjoy watching sports. Tennis is the most common sports in four sports in the table within 25,9 million people, each country has 6 to 7 million viewers. Motor racing is less common than other sports, as in the USA and Canada, there has only 1,5 and 1,1 million people watching, while it is the popular sport in the UK and Australia. Athletics is still the common sport in the UK and the USA. Most American people like watching golf with 11,2 million people, more than total of those in any other countries.  
  
*
Writing less than 150 words will result in an automatic failing score. This will be the final result of the word count deductions applied to the task. No amount of additional scoring later on will change that outcome because the essay does not meet the passing considerations of :  
  
- 3 paragraph presentations  
- Analytical reporting  
- Proper division of information presentation  
  
The essay is missing:  
- A proper summary overview  
- A trending statement  
  
The current summary is confusing to read. It does not correctly inform the reader in a quick format regarding the pertinent data in relation to:  
  
- countries listed  
- sports considered  
- results assessment  
  
As such the summary overview is the most problematic paragraph in this presentation. The writer also presents just 1 analytical paragraph where 2 are required. The analysis paragraphs should be representative of: 2 countries + 2 sports = Total assessment. Each grouping composes one paragraph.
First, this is an IELTS Task 1: You have missed the structure of this task :  
(1) Opening ( paraphrasing) + Overall : at least 2 questions about the highlights of the graph  
(2) Body 1  
(3) Body 2.  
Second, the lack of conjunction will affect your bandscore : Try to use: meanwhile, By contrast, in addition,additionally,..... to connect the sentence  
EXAMPLE :  
... 7 million viewers. By contrast, Motor racing is ... and Australia. Meanwhile, Athletics is still ...
***Some people believe that the government should not spend money on international aid when they have their own disadvantaged people, like the homeless and unemployed.***  
  
## To what extent do you agree or disagree?

  
  
In recent decades, it goes without saying that the ubiquity of needy people has become a topic of public interest. It is argued that some people propose not to misspend the state budget for overseas deprived people due to having the nation's underprivileged inhabitants. While there is some truth to this testament, I still gravitate towards the government coffers not only for natives but also abroad.  
  
On the one hand, there are many compelling reasons why some advocate not diverting allowance to foreign aid. It is evident that some leaders place too much attention on outsiders, they tend to disregard their own impoverished ordinary people. Therefore, some residents, especially vagabonds and job seekers, do not want to lose their financial benefits and colossal grant to cosmopolitan funding organizations. Another justification is that it may be ineffective because they will not even witness whether this funding investment can speedily reach the poor's hands. It is due to the fact that some greedy people will want to profit from that money and make it their own in order to use it for personal or illegal purposes.  
  
On the other hand, notwithstanding the aforementioned drawbacks of allotting the authority's money to worldwide assistance, I am convinced that the advantageous effects of this issue infinitely overshadow its disadvantages. Obviously, I would contend that the enthusiastic and generous support from an insignificant developing country, for example, Vietnam, will act as a precursor to international friendship and solidarity. In addition, our country will also acquire a reputation via a series of articles including on other countries' social media or daily news in order to raise the position to a new level. Another vindication is that this assistance will be conducive to strengthening national political security which plays an integral part in the career of maintaining long-term independence. For instance, great nations in terms of weapons, economics, science and technology such as America or Russia will come to our aid if a conflict breaks out.  
  
In conclusion, while the proponents of not spending the administration's budget on worldwide support, I am convinced that we should take a broader and more open view of this.
There is no reference to a timeline within the original presentation. Therefore, including a timeline mention in the rewrite has caused an information inaccuracy for the presentation. The examiner is looking for an accurate representation of the original topic. That means all flowery sentences and exaggerations, including additional references must be avoided since these will be seen as writer introduced changes to the first version.  
  
While the writer's opinion has a good basis, it fails to directly address the question provided. Therefore, the writer only has a thesis statement, but no opinion response. For this part of the paragraph, the writer should make sure to offer a response that will first offer the expected format and second, establish the supporting discussion reasons. When she does not do this, the writer's response does not meet the full scoring needs of the paragraph.  
  
Regardless of the response format requirement, the one thing that does not change in an agree or disagree essay is the single opinion defense requirement. That means, the writer should focus on solidly explaining and convincing the examiner that his line of reasoning cannot be beaten. This is done by providing reasons that oppose his opinion, but then prove to have flaws when he discusses it, thus strenghtening his own point of view. The other method of discussion, is to simply used 2 strong reasons that will explain the validity of the writer's belief.  
  
In this essay, the writer's belief was over presented in the second paragraph and yet, remained under discussed and developed due to the lack of a properly expanded discussion. Had she opted to not try to defend both sides of the discussion, she would have achieved the correct full response format for the task in the restatement, opinion, and reasoning paragraphs. All essays are single opinion in discussion unless it is an advantage v. disadvantage or benefits outweigh drawbacks discussion, in which case the discussion is generally comparative, without a writer's personal opinion statement.  
  
Based on these considerations, it is clear that the writer has not met the passing requirements for the presentation. Even though the discussion is clear to the reader, his failure to address the discussion as required are what affected the points considerations.
## edible insects - pros and cons

  
  
In this day and age, overpopulation is an urging issue resulting in huge demand for food all over the world. Considering an alternative source for consuming namely edible insects is still controversy with several opinion on its advantages and disadvantages.  
  
In terms of its good side, insects like grasshoppers or bugs are rich in nutrient offerring eater enough energy through a day. In comparision with other kind of meat, they brings approximately the same amount of nutrient even if they are smaller. Additionally, there is sizeable population of those species in nature to take advantage of. Indeed, insects are seem to be effectively reproduced and highly surviving species.  
  
Regrading to its bad part, eating some of the unsafe insects is likely to cause health problems such as food poisoning, stomachache, or diarrhea. Indeed, assessing and reassuring the safety and quality of an insect are a complicate process which needs experience and knowledge. With a little error, eater can suffer mentioned symtoms raging from mild to severe ones. Moreover, utilizing insects for different purposes appears to draw an effect to biological balance in nature. For instance, some friendly insects playing an crucial role in growing of plants should not be havested in a large scale for food industry.  
  
In conclusion, consuming inserts brings some above benefits but at the same time has certain drawbacks.