dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
The writer has used a general discussion format to discuss both public opinions. Not once did he offer a personal opinion from a personal point of new. 2 out of 3 discussion requirements were met.The essay is not fully developed. Scoring will be based on the half completed presentation. It may not be enough of an effort to ment a passing score. The writer needs to understand that this type of essay requires a 3 paragraph discussion, even if based on general opinions.The personal point of new needs to stand out and seen as in support of one of the 2 opinions or, a totally different opinion of his own making.
## **In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing.**

  
*What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations.*  
  
it is important to consider how the developed world's rising life expectancy will affect both citizens and societies. This essay will discuss the issue behind this and propose measures that might solve the problems.  
  
One of the main problems that arise for individuals is the lack of job opportunities for young people. This is because more elderly people will work in the age of retirement, which could create lots of youth jobless. As a consequence, the young people could not able to show their potential as they can work for longer hours, this will impact economic growth rate slow. To problem could be mitigated by creating fixed working years for an employer in the company, this would create vacancies for the people who are young,  
  
Additionally, the economic budget will decrease. The reason for this is in the government jobs the retired people will enjoy pension for longer years, the government have to pay them more. As a consequence, their financial budget will fall. Then the government might have to increase the tax, which will affect the average people. To tackle this issue, the pension for retired people should be only for certain years. As a result, the government can pay more money for the people who are working.  
  
In conclusion, the problems caused by increasing the average life of people in a developed nation will hinder the opportunity for the economy to create more jobs for younger people and this will also decrease the government financial budget. To solve these problems, we can put only fixed years for average people to work and for certain periods and for limited years the pension will be provided.
The writer has the right idea when it comes to the discussion.The problem is in the presentation of these thoughts in English. There are several sentences that fail to convey a clear and coherent English thought. A situation brought about by the writer's lack of proper vocabulary choices and lack of control over sentence structures. It is important that the writer performs more sentence building exercises. Vocabulary development tasks will also help him gain better control of his word usage and sentence formation. While his effort to present a relevant discussion is clear, the errors in the paragraphs will lead the failing scores in 3 sections: LR, C + C, and G R A presentations.
## Some people spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change

  
  
People always hesitate when it comes to changes. However, in some cases, changes can bring positive impact. In the passage I will weigh the pros and cons of consistency and changes.  
  
It is evident that doing the same thing for a long time is definitely boring. If one ask a man working in an assembly line how he feels about his job, If one ask a man working in an assembly line how he feels about his job, The answer is certainly tedious because all that he ever does is assembling details or parts. However, consistency may benefit one to some extents. When one do something day in day out, the body parts will get used to the work. It's means that skills get polished, reflection becomes sharp and chances of making mistakes reduce significantly.  
  
Changes are only advantageous if one is receptive. An appropriate change will by no means lead to results unexpected and fascinating. For example, a farmer changes his farming methods, types of seed and maybe fertilizers and the productivity of his crop this year increases compared to the previous one. Nevertheless, unsuitable changes resulted in many problems.  
  
Personally, I think that we should really keep on doing what we have been doing to make sure that we achieve the best results and we should make changes when it really needs to in order to improve the situation.  
  
All in all, persistence and changes both have their benefits and drawbacks. We should check our situation into careful consideration to ensure that whether repeatation or change will bring us positive outcomes. In other words, we should be adaptive to changes, not avoid them.  
  
Please help me with my writing. Thank you very much. I really appreciate your help <3
The writer has not provided the correct discussion response. A prompt alteration eests in the essay which will prevent it more recieving a passing score. An incorrect response and response format was provided in the restatement + opinion section.  
  
Discussion Instruction: Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.  
Writer Interpretation : I will weigh the pros and cons of consistency and changes.  
  
The writer has clearly disregarded the original requirements. Maybe he did not understand the instructions or, maybe he just did not want to follow the instructions. Whatever the reason, he has failed to get a passing TA score. 10, while he will recieve a small scoring consideration for having written something, he will not pass the test.
## Ielts writing test 1: mobile phone brands global sales

  
  
The profits the top 5 mentioned mobile phone brands made through selling their products in a period of 4 years, starting from 2009 are vividly depicted in the bar chart provided.  
  
From the chart, it is obviously evident that the sales of Samsung and Nokia took turn to top the chart. What's more, the sales figure of Samsung, Apple and ZTE experienced an upward trend during the period while that of Nokia and LG tended to go down gradually.  
  
In 2009, Nokia brand took the lead in the sales with nearly 450 while those of Apple is the lowest only about 20. Nokia continued to possess the highest sales figure in 2011. At the same time, Samsung was second to Nokia in sales. The sales of Apple, LG and ZTE in that same year were 98,97 and 51 respectively. The sales number of Samsung in 2013 was 450, which made it the brand that had the highest sales in that year compared to the 4 other brands in the chart. Nokia came second with 250. The third place belonged to Apple with 150, the forth and fifth place to LG and ZTE in the order mentioned.  
  
I have a question. How can I write a better description of the chart's main features? All I write was the highest and the lowest figures and then I list the rest.  
  
Thank you very much for your feedback and your help <3  
  
*
The profits the top 5 ~~mentioned~~ mobile phone brands  
The brand names have not been outlined in the summary yet. No mention has been made at this point.  
  
There are always aspects open for discussion or report analysis . Since the high and low has been presented, look for the middle range aspect to discuss as well. The midrange refers to the movable or fluctuating measurements that could increase or lower a future trend. In this image, such a report can be used for Apple and LG. Their measurements show clear fluctuations that can be analyzed, without the writer giving an influencing opinion. In a line graph, the mid-range is replaced by the overlapping or meeting pousts of the measurements.
## self driving cars controversy

  
  
It is forecasted that cars will soon need no human drivers. This phenomenon results from some reasons, and I personally think that it has detrimental benefits.  
  
To begin with, there are two primary justifications for this trend. The first one lies in the fact that human beings tend to pursue convenience. With the emergence of driverless automobiles, there is no need for people to drive the vehicle themselves. Therefore, the proliferation of autonomous cars is a natural progression. Another justification is the fast-paced technological innovations. This century has witnessed the significant development of technology and science in all walks of life. In transportation, some big corporations and companies have gained successful achievements in testing self-driving vehicles namely Tesla, BWW; as a result, driverless vehicles will soon be ubiquitous in the world.  
  
However, this trend can exert obviously positive influence on human lives. Most accidents are indeed due to reckless behaviours of human beings; hence, cars with the autopilot feature will assist in lowering or removing the risks in driving, which enhances road safety. Safety aside, the development of self-driving car industry is likely to boost the economic prospect since many expenses in human-driving transportation, such as drivers' salary, can be cut down on, leading to the saving of budget on commuting and transportation which can be allocated to other important fields.  
  
In conclusion, the popularity of autonomous cars inevitably occurs soon due to human's preference for convenience and technological breakthroughs. However, safety in transportation and economic prosperity are the advantages this trend brings to.
Rather than saying "some reasons" tell the reader what the reasons are. That will help create the thesis statement focus of your negative opinion of the topic. The restatement + opinion response accounts for a heavy scoring percentage. Do not waste the scoring potential with vague responses. A direct question must always have a direct answer for scoring reasons.  
  
When the word "however" is used, it is meant to refer to an opposing side. since the second paragraph has yet to establish a topic sentence, "however" should not be used yet. Establish a discussion print first then use the term. There is no such phrase as "detrimental benefits". Detrimental refers to a negative effect while "benefits" refers to a positive result. This is a clear conflicting word usage that will drag down the LR score.  
  
The essay is confusing to read and does not have a proper opinion discussion presented. It fails to establish a clear discussion path based on a single opinion.
**TOPIC:**  
## *University students are increasingly studying abroad as part of their studies.*

  
**Do the advantages of studying abroad outweigh the disadvantages?**  
  
*main advantage:* to have a deeper understanding of different languages and cultures  
*main disadvantage:* financial problems  
The advantages outweigh the disadvantages  
  
It is rather usual these days for undergraduates to study overseas as part of their degrees. Albeit the primary drawback of pursuing higher education in a foreign country, namely financial issues, students may have the opportunity to be exposed to different languages and cultures. To my knowledge, students should receive a foreign education despite challenging related problems.  
  
Getting an international education has some notably positive effects. The main advantage of studying overseas is the privilege to approach multicultural and multilingual education. Being in another country, students will get to know many other international students, which helps open their minds to develop a profound understanding of different cultures and languages. To illustrate, those who pursue their higher education overseas can more easily blend with people from diverse backgrounds than domestic students. These practical experiences are probably the most notable benefit of studying abroad as they would give students an advantage in several aspects of life, from schooling to work.  
  
Studying in a foreign country, however, is not just beneficial only. There is a need for several negative aspects to be recognized. One considerable disadvantage of overseas studying would be problems concerning finance. Most students have struggled in covering the tuition fee, not to mention the monthly expense on basic needs. As a result, they would opt to engage in a part-time job, posing massive obstacles to their academic study. While abroad for studying, undergraduates might encounter a bunch of challenges, particularly finance-related problems.  
  
There is an upward trend of tertiary institution students pursuing higher education in other countries. As international scholars, students would be privileged to gain profound insight into different lingual and cultural uniqueness, which will prevail over such challenges as financial shortage.
The student must use the choice keywords in response to the question to show a clearly related opinion. Therefore, the response is;" The advantages still outweigh the disadvantages". That is the clearest gquestion response possible that maximizes the TA score.  
  
The reasoning paragraphs always waste the first 2 sentences. The writer should use specific topic references instead of explaining what he will be writing about in the paragraph twice. If it does not move the discussion forward, it does not warrant a second, successive mention. It will just lower the C + C score.  
  
The concluding summary does a good job at reverse paraphrasing. It remained on topic, relevant, and effective when reminding the reader of the reasoning topics.
## WHAT IS THE MAIN FUNCTION OF UNIVERSITY?

  
  
It is believed that colleges should equip students with the knowledge and necessary skils for the future jobs while others argue that the main role of universities is only teaching knowledge for learners.  
  
Obviously, prominently skillful employers require both practical experience and sturdy foundation knowledge. If a person know many professional information but lack of skills involving to jobs ,they may be confused when starting a work. Therefore, mnay people believe that people should learn both knowledge and skills when they study higher education.  
  
On the other hand, I strongly believe that universities should focus absolutely on teaching students knowledge. The first significane is in college, there are enormous soure of information that need to be learnt, so lack of time will be a problem if universities decide to add classes teaching skills. Besides, students will be under a lot of pressures because many tests may appear. Learning too much things in the same time leads to negative impacts like falling behind their studies. In addition, skills studied in university may not meet demands of recruiters because of lack of directly real experience. It is thought that skills required in workplaces should be achieved in real life and real work. Classes teaching skills just mimic reality and skills which were taught by lectures were vicarious knowledge with students. That is the reason why people should seek for part-time jobs or take advantages of internships to study more than in lectures.  
  
To sum up, universitie is a place where learn knowledge and turn those into practical skills by experiencing jobs in real workplaces. I believe that skills are useful when they are not gained by vicarious experience.
The student failed to do a proper paraphrasing of the original topic having used cut and paste presentations for key phrases and words. A lack of opinion in response to the discussion question will make the essay struggle towards a passing score. The establishing score of the first paragraph will prevent that. The discussion paragraphs do not offer a clear opinion based on a single supported response.  
  
The writer has analyzed both sides rather than presenting the required single opinion defense. It is evident that the writer was incapable of developing a format responsive discussion as indicated originally. An inability to understand the discussion needs of this presentation will result in a failing score.  
  
Another added scoring failure is how the witter is I and misspelling English words. Using words that sound impressive but whose usage is incorrect in the sentence can only lead to a non-passing LR score.
If a person knows many ... but lacks skills involving ~~to~~ jobs  
  
The first significance is that in college, there are enormous amount of information that needs to be learnt,  
Learning too many things in  
may not meet the demand ... of ~~directly~~ real experience  
~~Classes teaching ... with students~~. ... to study more in work environment rather than in lectures.  
  
~~To sum up, university (...) experience.~~
## Strict noise restrictions?

  
  
The issue of noise pollution has always been a controversial problems. Discussing this issue, there are some individuals argue that there should be some essential measures to produce noise. While others believe that they totally have rights to make noise whenever they like.  
  
On the one hand, the reasons for those who have desire to make as much noise as they want can be listed below. Firstly, it is believed that human rights allows people to produce noise. This activities can be considered as a useful way to reduce stress and acts as a good medicine to prevent metal health when they express their feeling. For instance, in Vietnam, some people show their preference to use karaoke at their own house as a way to reduce stress. By doing this, their creational can be improved a lot. Secondly, there're various ways to reduce noise thanks to the effort of scientists by manufaturing soundproofed wall and so on. This means that people don't need to keep quiet and be able to freely produce noise without affecting others.  
  
On the other hand, I strongly believe that government should impose stricter laws in order to lower the level of noise pollution, especially in big cities, such as: HCMC, Hanoi and so on. Firstly, noise pollution seems to be one of the reasons affecting people's health. Living in a place with too much noise leaves the inhibitants the unability to fall in good sleep. If this issue keep happening for a long time, this will cause severe mental health problem, even psyche, chronic headache... Additionally, labour productivity or study effeciency can be decreased due to noise. This can be explained that working or studying in noisy environment, people definitely find it struggle to focus on what they are pursuing. As a result, low-quality products or bad marks will effect clearly on themselves.  
  
In conclusion, while there are some reasons for people to produce noise without limit, I lean towards the latter that strict controls should be applied to lessen noise to better the living environment.
The discussion requirement is for a comparison of the 2 public opinions prior to the writer's opinion. The development of the private opinion requires a clear consideration of the merits and demerits of the 2 group opinions.  
  
Either present 4 paragraphs that properly consider the public opinion, then ends with the writers personal insight of the public view or, use a 5 paragraph response. That requires 2 public opinion explanation paragraphs followed by a personal supporting paragraph for one of the 2 pov.  
  
The response format mistake is what pulls back the score for this essay. Unless one of the 2 opinion paragraphs is used, the discussion comes across as inaccurately presented to the reader.  
  
The writer opted to use a cause-effect- solution format in the discussion. That shows the extent of the writer's misunderstanding of the provided discussion instructions.
## allowing elderly to work

  
  
In some countries, elderly individuals have the permission to work as long as they desire. While I agree that this tendency is able to bring several benefits, I also believe that it has some detrimental effects.  
  
To begin with, it can be agreed that there are some advantage in this policy. The major gains from the absence of retirement age that the old would be provided the more opportunity to achieve and maintain great health, especially mental health in comprision with remaining at home for an extended period of time. Increasing more physical activities and interacting with partner in workplace not only cultivate a postive emotions but also keep the old folk from feeling lonely or stress when their child rarely spend time with them. Besides, people who are older usually have a lot more experience in work than those who are younger due to the fact that they can make a great contribution for society. This enable the community to develop more and older are also earned a high salary and able to meet their living expenses.  
  
Despite these afore mentioned benefits, there are some negative aspects do exist. When it comes to the elderly, their state of health is a problem should be taken into consideration because the old can suffer from many health issues such as memory loss or heart deseases. It is evident that the more older people get, the worse their thinking ability and physical becomes. As a result, this fact have an adverse impact on working performance or even they our health, especially with high-risk job. Furthemore, it is noticeable that the older labors could lead to the increase of unemployment rate. Many youngsters who just graduated would have to struggle in finding job when the old citizens are formidable candidates because they are rich experience and profession.  
  
In conclusion, this essay supports the idea that allowing elderly to work bring about certain benefits but negative consequences should not be overlooked. This issue should be considered as a pressing issue to ensure the better future for the next generation.
The writer is not responding to the discussion question in the opinion response sentence. A choice needs to be mack. Either the advantages outweigh the disadvantages or it does not. A non-answer was provided resulting in an unclear opinion. The response does not adhere to the needed response format. Therefore, the reasoning discussion is also incorrect as the single opinion defense paragraphs were used in a comparative rather than single opinion method, as required. The concluding summary does not provide the correct summary content either as it provides for a new discussion topic at the end, leaving the discussion open-ended rather than closed.
Hi, I am really appreciated with your help.  
  
## us energy consumption by fuel

  
  
The given line graph compares the consumption of six different energies in the USA in both history and future from 1980 to 2030.  
In general, petrol and oil have tended to be the most common energy that were used during the observed period. Additionally, the consumption of hydropower has an slightly decrease at the end of the period while the rest of energies have used with different increases in the amount.  
  
Far away from that 5 energies, the amount of petrol and oil is 35 quadrillions in 1980, it fluctuated volatile until 1995 then have rose steadily with projection until 2030, by 50 quadrillions. In comparison with petrol and oil, coal and natural gas have had roughly increase over the period with the amount of coal and natural gas respectively by 30 and 23 quadrillions.  
  
Meanwhile, the USA has consumed nuclear, solar/wind and hydropower quiet lower than 3 energies is mentioned. Both nuclear, solar/wind and hydropower started with 3 quadrillions. But in prediction until 2030, nuclear and solar/wind have had small climb in the consumption, by 8 and 6 quadrillions. In contrast, the quantity of hydropower generated fluctuated from 1980 to 2005 before declined and has remained unchanged at the end of the period, with 3 quadrillions.  
  
*