dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
Lincoln, The Flash was never mentioned in the video presentation. This is an assumption that you are making because of the popularity of the TV program. For accuracy purposes, never mention any entity or event hat is not included in the original presentation. It is important that you stick only to the facts because when your summary is compared to the original source, points will be deducted for inaccuracies.  
  
Your summation of the video is somewhat acceptable. It would have been further strengthened if you had been able to take note of Newton's law of motion which was an integral part of the explanation in the video. That was the total basis of the scenarios presented and accompanying explanations. So, while your essay is informative and sums up the video as best as you can remember, the summary still has room for improvement. However, due to time constraints, I believe that you will get a decent, maybe passing score in an actual test if you write this way when taking it.
In recent year, nowadays, the vast expansion in international trade affect development advertising is higher. Some people argue that is not popular because the companies are sold. I agree with this point of view.  
  
In my opimion, advertising is necessary in free maket economices and they need to tell customers about their products. Also, advertisements inform us about the choices while we have consider about large products. Furthermore, online advertising is the most common type today. They will control hight efficiency. For example, companies can see how many people saw their advertising and traffic for information everyday.  
  
Customers who are interesten in products or services, they will easily be sent to a content containing information through a free utility. It is a form of harmful modern business.  
  
I also agree with the view that advertising is not the real needs of society which they are sold. In my country, many advertising companies produce advertisements with famous, popular actors and singers. People, especially youngsters, buy goods that their fovourite singer advertise, although they do not really need their product. Moreover, advertising manipulates people because it aims to persude their that buying a product will make them happier, stronger, healthier, and more other reasons. For example, many people believed that if they use of vitamins or foods nutritional supplements, it will make healthy their body. However, the researchers pointed out that the abuse cause many side effects and fatigue. On the other hand, advertisers often aim their maketing at children who can easily be influenced by advertisements. Then, children always put pressure on their parents to buy them things.  
  
In conclusion, advertising is a key part of modern business but it is should be regulated. Government should censor and control false information that are harmful.
Ha, it is extremely difficult for me to review your essay for a number of reasons. The first one, is the lack of the original prompt requirement. That is the guideline by which I can properly assess your work for task compliance and discussion accuracy. At the moment, I am unclear as to what the actual slant of the discussion topic should be. Please post that prompt as soon as you can for a more accurate review of your work on the essay.  
  
In the meantime, I would like to call your attention to the grammar problems in your essay. You misspelled so many words within the overall essay that you would not get a very good score in terms of grammar range and accuracy. The highest you would probably get is a 3 which, as you know will drag down the final score calculations for your task test. Examples of the misspelled words are opimion = opinion, hight = height, interesten = interested, etc. Please make sure to take your time while typing your essay. I am not, at this moment, sure if you just have typographical errors or if you really do not know how to spell these words. Either way, your score in this section would be less than passing.
**Q: The purpose of businesses is to make money and they should concentrate only on this. Do you agree or disagree?**  
  
The main objective of an enterprise is to generate profit. However, I disagree with that idea since the company is also responsible for improving employee's prosperity and society's living standards.  
  
The company focuses on how to earn money and increase its profitability annually. It is thanks to they should rise and divide dividend to all investors who have funded operating business activities. In order to achieve the goal, they should allocate money to the commercial item instead of spend budget on something that has no return. Furthermore, the company should dominate the market. Although the company has been a market leader, who has had the biggest number of customers, they should design up-to-date business strategy to maintain their domination which aims to prevent new competitor enter the market and overtook their position.  
  
Apart from previous explanation, the company has the importance role to improve the quality of living standards of their employees and society. It cannot be disputed that the employee is a company's asset and they should be threatened very well. Although they are uneducated people, the company's operation cannot run effectively without them. Once they attain special treatment and feel happy. It leads to increase company productivity as well as customer's satisfaction. Furthermore, people who live around the company should be one of the company's concerns. Although it does not automatically generate money, it will give positive impact in term of company image and reputation.  
  
In conclusion, while some regard that the company should also concern on generating profit, I keenly disagree with such opinion because they have other responsibilities such as improving the employee's life and helping society who live around them.
Lincoln, your essay started out on a strong note, the paraphrased paragraph doesn't really fall under the required number of sentences which is 3. As such, the paraphrasing and the presentation of your opinion could have been made clearer and stronger to the reader. That is not the strongest problem of your essay though.  
  
You made some grave mistakes in the grammatical accuracy of your thought development. Using terms such as "threat" instead of "treat" in reference to the way the businesses deal with their employees. Then, another serious problem with your coherence and cohesion performance appeared.  
  
There is the sudden emergence of your thought that all business employees are uneducated. Where did you get that idea? It was not developed within the paragraph before it was introduced. What made you think that all employees are uneducated? There are blue collar and white collar workers, both have professional training in their field based upon some sort of education. It is not right to imply that they are uneducated. It shows a lack of analytical thought process on your end.  
  
Due to the problems with your essay, I doubt you could get a higher overall score than a 4 in an actual test.
Hi Alfin, once again a very short summary essay, well, summaries are not meant to be long, however, the shorter the summary, the higher the risk of understanding is and your readers might not totally understand the idea you are trying to convey and that is not a good summary essay.  
  
Remember, write the essay with the 3 most important parts, the introduction, the body and the conclusion, unless this is not covered, then the essay will not be complete.  
  
Having said that, please find a few modifications below;  
- Recently, t he company named Mercer  
- which usually surveys~~about~~ the most expensive  
- city in the world, launched a new rank ~~regarding that~~ .  
- The living cost ~~in there was~~ tremendously expensive  
- found that the price of coffee in  
- Hongkong is approximately $8, twice as much as London ($4.40) and Tokyo ($4.00).  
  
There you have it Alfin, I would love for you to add more proof as to Hongkong being the most expensive place to visit for tourist. Overall, it's a good start and additional information will help strengthen your summary essay.
hi Alfin  
  
again and again, it is too short summary i think that short summary is well does not matter but should contains much information and main idea can be covered.  
  
this is my advice.  
  
1. ... named Mercer whichIS usually survey about (...), launched new rankregarding that( UNCLEAR SENTENCE.)  
  
2. They announced SHOWN that Hongkong as ...  
  
3. The living cost ~~in there was~~ tremendous expensive ...  
  
4. do not forget use linking verb or conjunction to make flow your writing.
Seagrass swirling around the current and flow can be a ride for tiny species on the sea, provide food and habitat for microscopic species such as crustaceans to manatees, and contribute in stabilising the coast through it roots. According to scientist from National Autonomous University of Mexico, Brigitta van Tussenbroek, she and her colleagues were surprised when they found hundreds of invertebrates, chiefly small crustaceans, act like pollinators visiting flowers of a turtle-grass bed and carrying pollen. To explore this further, the researchers create an aquarium including crustacean, male and female turtle-grass flowers, and seawater. After several minutes, they found that extra grains appeared on female blooms on aquarium with invertebrates. This pollinators has a gooey and tasty body, and scientist believed that some pollen sticks to their bodies while they eat. So far, the discovery of sea bees which have only been seen visiting turtle grass can describe interesting plant-animal interaction that has not completely described, said researcher from Louisiana, Kelly Darnell.  
  
newscientist
Nda, your topic sentence at the start of the summary should have immediately indicated that the tiny crustaceans help in pollinating the sea plans. That is the entire focus of the essay and that was the essence of the message delivered by the speaker at the very start. The rest of your explanation in relation to this topic is acceptable.  
  
A word of advice though, when there is a secondary speaker in the article or video, make sure that you mention the name of the speaker somewhere before you mention her contribution to the article. You will need to write an introductory sentence for the speaker prior to the quotation you will be presenting. The way that you presented the second phase of information from the second speaker is not proper in this essay. If you review the statement as you have it now, you do not know where the information from the first speaker ends and the information from the second speaker begins. That is why you have to make sure to present the second speaker prior to indicating the information from that person. Without a differentiation in speakers, the summary becomes confusing for the reader to assess.
ACADEMIC WRITING TASK 2 GIVE ADVICE FOR MY WRITING  
  
Using media gives many cons on individual relationship between citizens. Although many drawbacks which are caused by media, I tend to disagree in this view.  
  
Recently, developed media electronic so rapidly it is causing pros and cons. In one side, media gives many negative effects on individual relationship such as miss communication, become solitary people and lack of social relation. It is mainly because media in cutting-edge era gives the easiest communication, interaction, and information access but all of them lead us to less directly contacting, because they think that communication bay digital devices easier than directly meeting. For example, tend using social media as their consideration to make conversation each other which offers the easiest way and an efficient way although there is no one give guaranty that social media can be clearly send the message.  
  
However, digital media can be leads people to build good relationship and it gives many advantages such as keep in touch between people which are different places, fast access information, and it gives entertainment as well. For illustrates, media devices can connect people which is different area and it can be share document each other such as photo, music and video. As the result, citizen can fast access information from their friends not only that but also society can share entertainment to others.  
  
To sum up, media electronic gives pros and cons but i think that people happier use media than do not use it, nowadays. I hope in the future developed media devices much better than right now.  
  
257 Word.
Hi Louchin, when you post your essay for review, please always remember to post the original instructions / prompt for the essay. As a reviewer, we need that information to guide us in reviewing certain parts of your essay. Mostly it helps us to judge your task accuracy band score. With that said, I will now proceed to give you a general review of your writing task.  
  
In terms of your essay topic paraphrasing, I do not feel that you did a very good job on it. I did not get any background information regarding the actual prompt topic, what the discussion is supposed to cover ( aside from your opinion), and what sort of succeeding discussion I am supposed to expect in the next paragraphs. There is a lack of clarity in your paraphrasing of the topic so the actual theme of the essay is not properly presented to the reader.  
  
When you say that there are pros and cons to an issue, you must make sure to dedicate one paragraph specifically for the pros and another for the cons. The way your essay sounds at the moment, there is no separation in the discussion. This produces a lack of clarity in your thought process and shows the examiner that you do not have any really cohesive and coherent ideas for discussion regarding the topic.  
  
If you think that merely saying "I think..." in the concluding paragraph represents your opinion in the essay, you are badly mistaken. Your opinion should be a full paragraph on its own that clearly depicts your opinion, ideas, and examples in support of your stance. So what you wrote is not really a conclusion but rather, another paragraph that represents your opinion.  
  
Overall, you need to work harder on the formatting of the essay. You must pay attention to the way that you discuss the topics. Make sure that you try your best to present a logical thought process in your succeeding essays in order to help you improve your test scores. At the moment, this essay would fail within the band scores.
Hello, this is my correction for you  
  
... many cons on the individual  
  
I tend to disagree ~~in~~on this view.  
  
~~tend~~tendency on using social media  
  
social media can be clearly ~~send~~sending the message.  
  
However, digital media can be l~~eads~~lead people  
  
touch ~~between~~with people illustrates,  
  
... connect people which ~~is~~are different area  
  
and it can be ~~share~~shared document  
  
thank you
Hello, this is my correction for you  
  
Yossi Vardi as ~~a~~an investor (remember that using of a or an, "a" must be followed by vowel letter after "a" article, in the opposite, "an" must be followed by consonant letter after "an" article)  
  
who has ~~presentation~~present(remember that present perfect, after "have or has" must be followed by V3 not V ing)  
  
problem ~~become~~becomes essential because (the subject is problem as singular noun)  
  
leg is ~~harmfull~~harmful to sexual healthy  
  
thank you
The table reveals information about the outcome of research in 1997 and 2006, in which society are interviewed which communication abilities are critical in their works. Overall, it can be seen that there were different aspects which were asked between external and internal communication skills, that shows the highest percentage of both was dealing with people while the lowest was making speeches or presentations.  
  
In external communication, dealing with people hit point at 65% in 2006, but in previous it deceased slightly at 60% ; more over knowledge of particular products or services become the second important at 35 percent in 1997 and it was slight rose by 6% in 2006 from 35%. In addition, selling a product or service was the lowest in external communication skills. It stood at 24% in 1997 and it declined slightly by 3% in 2006 from 24%.  
  
In other word, listening carefully to colleagues was the biggest rate in internal communication skills at 38% in 1997 and it was slight inclined at 47 percent in 2006. Furthermore, the lowest number in this part was making speeches or presentations at 47% and it was slight rose by 4 percent in 2006 from 7%.  
  
*
Hello @Castro!  
Allow me to give you some suggestions.  
  
**Take a look at your first body paragraph.**  
You have missed one of external communication skill which is "advising or caring for costumers or clients", then you put "knowledge of particular products or services become the second important at 35 percent in 1997" it was totally wrong since the second position was "advising or caring" at 36%.  
  
It stood at 24% in 1997 and it declined slightly by 3% in 2006 ~~from 24%.~~  
**Repitition**  
  
**Move to the second body**  
You put wrong data again.  
Furthermore, the lowest number in this part was making speeches or presentations at ~~47%~~ 7% and it was **a** slight ~~rose~~**rise** by 4 percent in 2006 ~~from 7%.~~  
  
Hope it helps you :)
Dear Castro, here some advice for your writing and feel free to correct me too!  
  
...that ~~shows~~**showed** the highest percentage of both was dealing with people while the...  
  
...and it was **a** slight ~~rose~~**rise** by 6% in 2006 ~~from~~**to**~~35%~~**41%**.  
  
...it declined slightly by 3% in 2006 ~~from 24%~~**to 21%**.  
  
...it was **a** slight ~~inclined~~**incline** at 47 percent in 2006.  
  
...it was **a** slight ~~rose~~**rise** by 4 percent in 2006 from 7%.  
  
*Overall, you have a good essay and you can cover all of the information from the shown table chart. However, it would be better if you make some comparisons among data in the table graph.*  
  
**Regards**
Hello, this is my correction for you  
  
but in previous it ~~deceased~~decreased slightly at 60%  
  
it was ~~slight~~slightly rose by 6% in 2006 from 35% (you must write adjective)  
  
In ~~other word~~other words or another word(remember that "another" to show singular and "other" to show plural)  
  
and it was ~~slight~~slightly inclined (you must write adjective)  
  
was ~~slight~~slightly rose by 4 percent (you must write adjective)  
  
thank you
The globalization era, the majority of people have accustomed to use electronic media. However, it caused numerous problems such as reduced number of people who keep in touch with others and disrupted personal relationship. I personally disagree with that idea, because my opinion electronic media has more positive impact than negative effect.  
  
Furthermore, as we know that most of people always using electronic media in their life particularly to communicate with others. Nevertheless, they forget about meet face to face is more important. Even, in a new study, the researchers find that the average people who using handphone or electronic media reach approximately 10-12 hours in a day.  
  
In my point of view, actually there are many advantages from electronic media such as, we can find information easily from my handphone everytime and everywhere. When we want to intensify own knowledge and discover new thing we just click on google to find it. Then electronic media also cheaper and more convenience than other media. In the past we usually keep in touch with family,friends using mail post, but now we just type to keyboard and sending directly to receiver.  
  
In conclusion, electronic media is essential for our life. It can make our life easier particularly to get mush information and connect with people, but unconsciously it can disturb our relationship with surroundings. However, in my view electronic media still become most important thing and cannot stop to using it.
Dear Alfian  
Here, my corrections toward your writing  
  
1. Grammatical Accuracy: you wrote grammar inconsistently, you use two grammar within one sentence. It makes the readers hard to understand and catch up your idea.  
  
2. Please kindly pay attention SINGULAR AND PLURAL sentence.  
  
3. in the second paragraph you could add some explanation regarding the relationship between avoid direct communication and the mentioned research finding.  
  
4. Please do not say "my" in this writing since you have to give the general opinion about what majority people think not your argument. Furthermore, this is a agree and disagreement question which is not needed to put your personal point of view.  
  
Good Luck
The globalization era, the majority of people... -- Nowadays, we live in a glabalization era, where majority of people...  
  
However, it caused numerous problems such ... - About this sentence - replace However with Although/ Even though.  
  
I personally disagree (...) media has more positive impact than negative effect. - You disagree with what? -- Because in my opinion, the electronic media influence our society in rather positive way.  
  
Furthermore, as we know that most of people always using electronic... -- It's always good to start your paragraphs with topic sentences(provide a brief information, what is your personal opinion and the develop your ideas) - so it's not a good idea to start with Furthermore, since you have not stated anything yet.  
  
You have a lot to improve, but you are at the right path. The first thing, that i will suggest is to boost your vocabulary, as well as start reading more sample essay, because you have problems with your grammar and sentence structure(just like me :D).
*This is my first essay of task 2 in IETLS writing part. I need your help to find my improving points in writing skill. Thank you a lot for reading this.* :)  
  
**Too much exercises is bad for one's health, do u agree or disagree with this statement?**  
  
The health benefit of regular exercise and physical activities are hard to ignore but it is impossible to argue against the fact that doing too much exercises also hold unexpected dangers.  
  
First and foremost, too much exercises have negative impact on their physic health. Especially, the damage will be more and more grave if they do exercise in a wrong way that lead to the muscle pain. As well as this, heart needs to work harder to pump blood to their brain. This is mainly because human body has limits and when they heart can't respond anymore, can cause negative effect, their body probably fall into a coma which is also a main reason of heart disease. For example, there are people, who choose to run as much as possible as a way of losing weight, but the result is that, they will possibly take all of these damages above or even die.  
  
Futhermore, the problem is not only badly impact on physic health but also cause serious mental health problem. For instance, being exhausted from getting out of breath, people will lose motivation to run their daily life. This mean that, productivity would certainly decline. Consequenly, too much exercises waste time and excessive consumption of one's energy, which can contribute to a poor health.  
  
In conclusion, I personally believe that the more doesn't mean better, it is wise for people if they decide to do exercise at a suitable intensity, which can brings the best result of working out.