In the restatement, your first sentence is marred by lack of clarity in the presentation. I am not sure what you mean by:  
  
*Nowadays, the question of whether governments should control scientific research or private companies has been receiving a great deal of public attention.*  
  
Actually, is sounds like a bad cut and paste of the original prompt. A clearer presentation would have been:  
  
*There has been an ongoing discussion regarding where the money for scientific research should come from. Should experimental explorations be financed by the political powers or civilian financing? I agree that state financing would be more beneficial in the long run. I have specific reasons for supporting government financing of science based research.*  
  
Make sure that your opening paragraph will always indicate:  
- A clear restatement of the prompt. Do not use the same keywords from the original prompt.  
- A response to the given question (agree or disagree)  
- A reference to your discussion outline  
  
You need to be clear in your restatement because that is what will tell the reviewer about what sort of English comprehension and explanation skills you have. Lack of clarity means you cannot express yourself properly in English to a native speaker.  
  
The reasoning for the discussion should come form personal opinion or public knowledge. The reference to thalidomide babies would have been acceptable if it did not sound so much like researched information. A reference to a personal experience with the results of the drug use would have made the explanation less researched and more personal (My uncle is a thalidomide baby. He became that way, I was told, because of privately funded research...) See? The mere insertion of a personal example made the research less research sounding and more personal. It aligns better with the information requirements of the essay. By the way, don't use research when writing the practice tests. Whether you use CBT or the pencil test, you won't have access to the internet on exam day.  
  
Both of your paragraphs lack a clear explanation for the topic sentences. That is because you are not able to properly explain yourself in English yet. You are also targeting only the presentation of information rather than the explanation of the information. You are not being scored on the amount of information you know. You are scored on how well you can explain and support your topic sentence. For starters, use only one topic sentence per reasoning paragraph. That way you can focus on the clear explanation that you have to deliver for your supporting paragraphs.  
  
The conclusion should have 3-5 sentences. While you were correct to restate your support for the topic, you missed out on presenting:  
- A restatement of the discussion topic  
- The presentation of your 2 reasoning topics  
  
Your opinion should have been the last sentence of the concluding summary.  
  
Good effort but you need to focus less on topics and more on explaining the relevant, singular topic in the essay. Start with the basics, don't overreach with your writing. You are not an advanced writer yet. Just keep the topics and discussion reasons simple for now. You will slowly become an advanced writer.