dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
## Most writers of fiction do not earn enough money to live from their writing

  
  
In the modern life, most of the youngsters seem to choose other fields instead of literature or writing to move up the career ladder. Because, in general, only a few achieve the success in this fields while the rest find very difficult to make ends meet. In my opinion, the governments should support authors financially because of some following reasons.  
  
It is true that the most crucial definitions of culture of any nations is its literature. Moreover, good writing skills either is an innate talent or is developed through training, of course the authors need to polish their skills and enlarge their vocabulary with some practices and life experiences. However, this section does not draw a great attention as much as of other fields like industry. Because of the lacking of supporting especially budget, the writers do not continue their career as authors and change other steady jobs. Hence, the governments should help them by giving money because literature can empower culture throughout the literature masterpieces.  
  
Equally important, as we know, reading is the most important factor of our knowledge, as well as helping to orient our life style and characteristic. Yet with the modernization of our societies, youth prefer type of various amusements to literature and it is the main concern of the sociologists that have struggled with. So the government can subsidize authors to publish more books, especially the books of fictions since it is entertaining and immersed in easily.  
  
On the other hand, the governments should consider carefully before deciding to sponsor literature. The writing have to ensure some criteria such as content, grammar, vocabulary, imagination or the values of art or education. For instance, if the book educate people and do not increase violence or advertising other bad behaviours, the book are valuable to be supported financially by the governments.  
  
In conclusion, government can be sources of revenue for authors to keep their culture and create more literatures. However, there should be a government panel which consists of experts in the field to take a decision on whom to be supported.[/]
You immediately changed the prompt discussion focus in your essay. Your restatement is off topic. You are being asked about fiction writers, not about youngsters.Your restatement is inaccurate and not really accurate in representing the original prompt. However, your response to the direct question is correct and should help offset the early errors in your restatement presentation.  
  
The essay is too long. You cannot complete 345 words in 40 minutes. Not if you want to present a perfect, error free essay to the examiner. There are about 5 errors in this essay covering grammar, conciseness, and vocabulary usage. You should have been able to review your essay for these errors and corrected them within the last 5 minutes of the test, had you written within the 290 word limit rather than presenting the equivalent of a research paper to the examiner. This is only a 4 paragraph essay, you wrote 5 paragraphs instead. Learn to identify which essays require 5 paragraphs, and which require 4 paragraphs. Base it on the discussion instructions and questions of the original prompt. These usually cover no more than 4 sections of presentation based on the 2 reasoning paragraph requirement.  
  
Most writers of fiction do not earn enough money to live from their writing.  
Do you think the government should give them financial assistance to help encourage good literature?
## Psychologists have known for many years that colour can affect how people feel.

  
***For this reason, attention should begiven to colour schemes when decorating places such as offices and hospitals.***  
  
*How true is this statement?  
How far does colour influence people's health and capacity for work?  
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.*  
  
Color is the earliest thing that people can learn, it also plays an important role in everyday life. It influences can be seen in home decoration or fashion. It has been a discursive argument that whether to take colors into consideration when people construct workplace or hospitals or not. However, from my perspective, it depends on the use of those places to decide the significance of colors  
  
On the one hand, it is true that colors in offices are sometimes not really important. In a workplace, what is really crucial is the technology or the environment. Clerical workers usually do not need too many colors or patterns in their workplace as they believe it can distract them from their work. Additional, these workers often involve in their work so much that they do not really care about the color of their office  
  
However, the opposite would be true in some other workplaces. People who work in creative fields such as art or architecture find that offices painted with vibrant colors are more preferable. The general view is that those colors can help them to encourage their creativity. As a result, some companies such as Google, decorate their offices with colorful walls and details in order to boost the productivity of their employees  
  
While the influence of colors in offices are about output, in hospitals, it is mainly about the health of patients. Obviously, colors are often avoided in hospitals, where people recover from operations or illnesses. Additionally, when it comes to hospitals, what most people think really matters is their healthcare services, well-qualified doctors or the facilities of the hospitals rather than its decorations or colors  
  
Nevertheless, in hospitals for children, it would be better for them to be colorful. Unlike aldults, children often care more about entertainment, therefore, decorating walls with colors or pictures can attract them. Moreover, some children may be scared of hospitals so the decorations can help them to stay calm and be more friendly towards the staff.  
  
In conclusion, there is relationship between colors and mood. For that reasons, designers should carefully examine the purposes of the place and decorate in a way that help the occupants to get the best of their surroundings
There is a problem with your prompt paraphrase. It does not accurately restate the prompt nor provide direct responses to the questions provided. The questions would have served as the basis for the reasoning paragraph discussion sentences. If I were to have restated this prompt it would have worded in the following manner, which is more prompt responsive:  
  
*Various hues are known to have an effect on the emotions of men and women. It is because of the way that these coloring tend to influence the mood of a person that a belief regarding the importance of tinting in work rooms and clinics has developed. I believe that coloration does have a strong effect on the psyche of a person. However the colors should be used in a manner that matches the purpose of the room.*  
  
The above format is more aligned with the prompt discussion outline as laid out in the original prompt. Writing 369 words for this essay was irrelevant because you failed to proof read your essay. You have 22 errors covering spelling, grammar, conciseness, and vocabulary usage. All these errors will combine, along with the improper restatement of the prompt, to prevent you from achieving a passing score. The more uncorrected errors you have, the lower your score.  
  
Do not focus on length since you are not scored by the number of words you write after the minimum word count. You are scored on the least number of mistakes that you make. Of what use is it to you to have a very long essay that is riddled with mistakes? You will not pass the test if the errors remain uncorrected. So aim to write no more that 290 words, spend the rest of the time revising your content and correcting the errors you made instead. Focus on proof reading and editing. Those are what will help you get a better score.
Topic:  
***Some people argue that job satisfaction is more important than job security, while others believe that they cannot always expect job satisfaction, and a permanent job is more important.***  
  
## Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

  
  
Please help me check my essay. Thanks a lot!  
  
There are several arguments stating that the essential of being satisfied with occupation overwhelmings the eternal career. However, in my opinion, I am in great disapproval of this contention.  
  
Admittedly, job satisfaction has a necessary role in the career as it enhances the effectiveness of the way of working. For example, if the worker is pleased with his job, then he will definitely complete tasks with the highest level of efficiency. In this sense, occupation contentment acts as working stimulation, which results in many chances of promotion later.  
  
Despite the argument above, I believe a permanent job is more important in comparison to career pleasure. As for bosses, the sustain of working is prioritized over anything. To be more specific, a staff with a stable state of working is absolutely better than the one who will drop off job whenever having dissatisfaction. Under this circumstance, the more sustainable the way of working, the more favored the worker become.  
  
On top of this, when impoverishment is spreading all over the world, the guarantee of a career should be considered as the most essential factor for everyone. Having a persistent job means possessing a stable income. Therefore, we can not only afford the cost of daily lives but also guarantee the life after retirement by financially accumulating. Besides, if there are unsatisfaction in our occupation, as long as having passion, we could try to improve the working condition or fix problems in order to be in long attachment with our career. In this way, I have a great belief that we should give priority to a permanent job over the gratification of work.  
  
In the final analysis, from my perspective, whereas occupation satisfaction obviously has outstanding effects on the way we work, the advantages of having job guarantee still outweigh job contentment.
well, firstly i have to say that your idea quiet good.  
However, I have some rcecommend for you such as:  
"job satisfaction has a necessary role in the career " you can change "one of the important factor which can be observed in the career if the job satisfaction"  
  
The sentence: "having a persistent job....." doesn't have subjec,so you can correct " the employees who have a persistent... means...."  
You should choose either "in the final anylysis" or "from my perpestive", i think you shouldn't use both, it will make the sentence is more complicted
There are 3 avenues for discussion in this essay that should have been properly represented in the prompt paraphrase. These are:  
- Some people argue that job satisfaction is more important than job security  
- others believe that they cannot always expect job satisfaction, and a permanent job is more important.  
- An indication that a comparison of the 2 discussion points will result in your personal opinion.  
  
Your prompt paraphrase is severely lacking in proper discussion representation. You should have indicated a restatement of the 2 topics and reasons and merely implied a point of view after a comparison is done. You cannot give an opinion that is not based on the comparison of the 2 discussion points.  
  
The lack of gender free pronoun usage in the first 2 discussions indicates that these are not explanations of the public point of view as required in the discussion. Instead, these 2 paragraphs are reflective of your personal opinion alone. That runs counter to the discussion instruction that expects you to deliver an explanation of the public point of view in a manner that highlights your understanding of the public opinion.  
  
Your overall discussion format is incorrect. The correct format is:  
Par. 1 - Prompt restatement  
Par. 2 - 1st Public POV explanation  
Par. 3 - 2nd Public POV explanation  
Par. 4 - Personal opinion based on a comparison discussion of the 2 POV  
Par. 5 - Concluding paraphrase of the previous discussion topic, public POV, and personal opinion.
Hi all. It's my first time posting an essay here. Please give me some advice about organization and help me fix this essay, thanks!!!  
  
## Global water use by sector

  
  
The graph and table below give information about water use worldwide and water consumption in two different countries.  
  
My answer:  
  
The line graph and table compare the amount of water used for agriculture, industry and homes around the world, and water consumption in Brazil and Congo in 2000.  
  
It is clear that global water use rose significantly from 1900 to 2000, and agriculture need the most water to keep it working. We can also see that water consumption in Brazil was more higher than Congo.  
  
In 1900, around 500 km3 water was used by agricultire, and industrial and domestic use stood around one fifith of that amount. By 2000, global water used for argriculture had risen significantly to around 3000 km3, and industrial and domestic water use had also increased to around 1100km3 and 500km3 respectively.  
  
According to the table, the population of Brazil was 176 million whitch is higher than the population of Congo, at only 5.2million. Water consumption per person in Brazil and Congo is 359m3 and 8m3 respectively, and it can explain that the irrrigated land in Brazil is 265 times bigger (as big as) than the irrigated land in Congo.  
  
(174 words)  
  
*
Hi! You're welcome. I have some advices for you.  
Firstly, It seems that you know how to separate the paragraphs but you should put more linking words inside the paragraphs in order to connect the sentences. For example: in the second paragraph, ... it working. **Besides,**We can also see...  
  
Secondly, just focusing on describing the graph and do not guess anything as *to keep it working* (in my opinion)  
I hope this will help you a little bit.
You have too many run on sentences in every paragraph. This has affected the presentation format of your report. The sentences should be divided in every presentation with only 3-5 sentences clearly reporting on the images present. You cannot combine the information for the line graph and table in the presentation. Those are two separate images that should have been reported with their individual information reports within the summary overview.  
  
You are not clearly showing a vast range of punctuation mark usage in this essay. You are limited to only periods and commas. That is why you have run on sentences. You do not have a proper balance of properly formatted simple and complex sentence presentations. Review the rules for simple and complex sentence formats and follow it next time you write an essay. Try to avoid the over usage of commas in your presentation. Also, make sure you have 3-5 sentence per paragraph as required for the proper paragraph formatting / requirements.
## IELTS WRITING TASK II: problem and solution

  
  
Topic:  
One problem faced by almost every large city is traffic congestion. What do you think the causes are? What solutions can you suggest?  
Essay:  
Traffic jams in metropolises have recently become major topic of concern. This essay will suggest that one of the prime culprits of this phenomenon is rush-hour traffic and submit arranging flexible working hours and implementing a car-sharing scheme as the most viable remedies.  
  
Traffic congestion is apprarently conducive to the circulation during peak times. Due to the attributes of white-collar jobs, the majority of residents in cities and commuters from outskirts go down on the roads at certain times each day, thereby sparking off road obstructions. Accordingly, they have to sit in long traffic queues and inch along until passing over cities' center.Take Ho Chi Minh city for example. It is not a rare sight to catch a glimse of city's avenues being packed in like sardines in peak hours.  
  
A possible mitigation strategy to curb this dilemma is implementing flexible working-hour policy. To put it simply, office workers can opt for the working schedule that suits them best. Alternating phase shifts will possibly conduce an appreciable shrinkage in the number of people on the roads at the same time by at least a quarter. Another feasible solution is settiing up a car-sharing scheme. Colleagues living in adjacent areas or neighbours working at nearby workplaces will group together and commute to work. By decreasing the mumber of one-person car on the roads, it can free up road capacity and make peak hours congestion-free.  
  
To conclude, to mitigate the magnitude caused by rush-hour traffic, which is the main trigger to gridblocks, a flexible working schedule and a car-sharing scheme should be set up in a reasonable manner right away.
I think your essay is relatively good. Your have a wide range of vocab and nice phrases. However, there are 2 things I would suggest to make it more perfect  
  
1. You should'nt state directly the reasons and solutions in the introduction. Instead, set aside them as topic sentences in each paragraph.  
2. Your first paragraph is under-developed. It asks about the "causes", but you only give a simple sentece to present it, then state the result. You should focus on the cause and make it more detailed.  
  
Hope this comment helps. Good luck!
You must outline your direct response to the questions in the prompt restatement. Direct question responses are part of the clarity of your opinion, which is a major scoring consideration. Failure to proper outline your topics for discussion in relation to the clarity of your opinion will be detrimental to your scoring in that section. These are considered the topic sentences for your reasoning paragraphs. The direct response will offer the examiner a clear overview of what your reasoning paragraphs will be about. It will also help you stay on track when it comes to the discussion topics of your essay. Some students forget the importance of giving themselves a reminder regarding their discussion topics within the written section. The outline of the prompt paraphrase helps keeps you on track and focused on your discussion points.
## Mental or physical strength matters more?

  
  
Some people appreciate mental strength as the most important factor contributing to the success in sports, while others believe that strength and fitness plays a more important role in this field. This essay will discuss why strength and fitness is more essential to the success of a sportsman.  
  
Strong and fit people are likely to become successful due to their high physical endurance. Sports competitions or tournaments are harsh, therefore, anyone who is able to survive through extreme practice and maintain his or her endeavor through many rounds of competition will be the winner. Thus, physical endurance is the first element to help sportsmen achieve these things. For example, football players, especially superstars like Ronaldo, always have an appropriate schedule for practice in order to keep fit and increase strength so that they can survive through a 90 minutes long match and have excellent performances.  
  
However, many argue that mental strength is the key role which determines the success in sports. They believe that the ability to overcome stressors or stresses is more fundamental than strength and fitness. Although mental strength, in fact, is also vital to sportsmen's success, I believe that physical endurance, the consequence of great strength and fitness, still plays a more salient role. When a sportsman reaches higher physical endurance, he or she becomes more confident due to the fact that stresses or stressors are no mean when compared with everything he or she has to do to achieve a better physical endurance. Therefore, mental strength is only an extra benefit arising from physical endurance.  
  
All things considered, each person will choose whether becoming strong or having a strong mind as a more pivotal thing to success in sports depends on. From my point of view, strong and fit people always have a high chance to become a successful sportsman.
Firstly: i think you should extend your introduction and conclusion part  
The Introduction should be consist of a general opinion-> clue supporting the previous idea->leading to the topic and show them your intention ( describe pro/cons.....)  
  
And your conclusion should have had a general sumary as well  
Secondly  
I think you should consider again about the usages of mental strenghth, it's not just an extra from physical education,like if you don's have good mental strenghth you should not be constant enough to even start it.  
  
Thirdly  
you used a lot of advanced word to me ( endeavor, essential,field,...) and also complex linking word (Thus, All things considered, therefore,...)  
Great structure with clear meaning.
## choosing the house's style

  
  
**Some people think that newly built houses should follow the style of the old houses in the local areas. Others think that people should have freedom to build houses of their own style. Discuss and give opinion.**  
  
Nowadays, the trend of choosing the house's style is sparking various arguments. Some arguments said that contemporary houses should be in accordance with the old. The others contend that people should be allowed to decide what they want. In my opinion, the second one is more reasonable.  
  
Sometimes, the new houses ought to be built following the old model due to the locality's landscape. It would be unimaginable if there was a modern building among a row of the ancient structure houses. For example, Hoi An city in Vietnam is a famous destination for the architecture value of tradition from a few centuries ago. Therefore, the authority should limit the emerging of the odd style buildings, compare with coherent ones. The ostracism could appear among residents, which leads to negative conflicts and reduce attachment feelings.  
  
On the other hand, people should have the right to select which construction-designing type they want. Many modern models improve human life and positively affect the environment while architects comply with eco-friendly or well-ventilated trends. The more exquisite trends are applied to new houses, the more effectively people respond with the greenhouse. Moreover, the new buildings would help saving money more than the old ones because almost ancient materials used to be precious wood and are so expensive now. So, freely giving the decision could be suitable for individuals' economic conditions and the likelihood of protecting the environment.  
  
In conclusion, although in some areas, keeping the new houses following the traditional style is necessary, people should be allowed to choose other styles that could bring more opportunities to their life.  
  
Thanks for reading and please give me some comments!