dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
**Eating a balanced diet is the most important factor for a healthy life. To what extent do you agree?**  
  
## every individual should develop a habit of eating healthy

  
  
Our eating habits greatly affect our lifestyle. It is said, that for a healthy life eating a balanced food is crucial. In my view, negligence in eating can lead to health problems and diseases, which ultimately badly affects the lifestyle of people.  
  
Undoubtedly, trend of eating fast food is profoundly prevailing these days. Especially youngsters are eating more junk food, which leads to non-curable diseases such as obesity, hypertension and diabetes. This is because youngsters prevent themselves from the hassle of cooking. Moreover, due to busy lifestyle, people do not have time for cooking and they do not even take proper meals, which, therefore, is immensely affecting them by making them weak and deficient of important nutrients. Hence, due to poor diet habits people are becoming prone to unhealthy conditions and diseases  
  
Para 2  
Admittedly, consuming fresh, nutrient rich and healthy food makes an individual healthy and he can obviously lead a better lifestyle as compare to people following bad eating habits.  
  
For instance, a person eating food containing all essential nutrients such as carbohydrates, fats and proteins would definitely be getting adequate nutrition and will be less likely to suffer from disease conditions. In addition, he will stay active and healthy. So balanced food is vital as it aids to maintain a healthy life.  
  
In conclusion, People eating food with inadequate nutrients are at greater risk of carrying diseases while individuals consuming healthy food with equal proportions of necessary nutrients can enjoy a healthy life. Therefore, I totally agree with the fact that every individual should develop a habit of eating a balanced diet as it guarantees you a better life.
Eram, practice writing your essays in fluid paragraphs rather than splitting it up into paragraph counts. If you get used to writing that way, you may inadvertently also write that way during the test, which could result in scoring problems for you. Don't write in any other format except the way the essay should be written during the test.  
  
Remember that these paragraphs need to have 3-5 sentences in them. These sentences need to be interconnected in the paragraph presentations using proper transition words, phrases, and sentences to complete the presentation. You don't really use this required format at the moment.  
  
Finally, we come to the biggest problem of your essay, that is your task accuracy representation. Your essay doesn't respond properly to the question being asked. Have a look at the following:  
  
Question: To what extent do you agree?  
Response: In my view, negligence in eating can lead to health problems and diseases, which ultimately badly affects the lifestyle of people.  
  
You are being asked to simply agree with the discussion so you cannot offer a discussion counter or in opposition to the given statement. Therefore, you created a prompt deviation because you went ahead and discussed a topic of your choosing / making, which is not related to the information provided in the original prompt. Due to this error, you will automatically get a failing score in the TA section, which means it will be difficult for you to try and pull up your score with the remaining scoring considerations due to the existing errors in relation to the scoring criteria that remains.
Thank you . "Para 2" I wrote it mistakenly, Actually I wrote it for planing the essay and forgot to erase it. I hope I won't do this mistake in the official test as I can write points on question book.  
  
I will work on the other highlighted problems. Your feedback is very helpful.  
Can you share your version of this statement "In my view, negligence in eating can lead to health problems and diseases, which ultimately badly affects the lifestyle of people."
Eram, it is with the permission of the admin of this forum that I will now share with you several variations on the statement that you provided. There are a number of ways to interpret or restate the prompt requirement. Some of these include the following:  
  
1. I completely agree that a healthy diet plays a valuable role in a person's life.  
2. I am in total agreement that a well rounded eating plan is imperative for the healthy life of a person.  
3. I fully support the statement that healthy eating methods create an illness free lifestyle.  
  
As for your chosen statement, I would state this as follows:  
1. My opinion is that when a person does not pay attention to his eating habits, illness eventually sets into his life.  
2. Personally, I believe that negative eating practices lead to the development of health complications in the life of people.  
3. Based on personal experience, I believe that unhealthy eating habits tend to create health problems and diseases that alter the lifestyle of a person.  
  
These are but a few of the methods by which you could have stated your response to the question or presented your personal opinion. Now, there are other ways to present these statements. The above samples refer only to my way of writing these statements.
## 'private schools' essay

  
  
FAMILIES WHO SEND THEIR CHILDREN TO PRIVATE SCHOOLS SHOULD NOT BE REQUIRED TO PAY TAXES THAT SUPPORT THE STATE EDUCATION SYSTEM.  
TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE WITH THIS STATEMENT?  
  
Some people believe that there should be unnecessary to pay taxes to promote the public education system for those parents who send their children to private school. Personally, I completely disagree with this view.  
  
There are various reasons why it would be wrong to reduce the taxes for parents who pay for the private schools. Firstly, if we decide not to pay taxes to enhance the intact of state schools, it will be a big troublesome for those who works in the state government. Because it is quite difficult to calculate the total amount of families who let their children study in private education, and it would be an increase of staffs that should be responsible for the duty of counting the students who have academy in private schools. Secondly, we all pay the same amount of taxes to public services, but usually we may not have chances to use it . For example, most people are not fortunate enough to call for the polices or firefighters in our lives, but we would not ask for a reduction of paying taxes. Finally, it would be ridiculous that the rich people, sending their children to private schools, have a tax reduction, while the poor do not have an advantage on it.  
  
In my opinion, paying taxes to support the state education system may bring us more benefits than bad things. We will have a well-produced study system that can make our young students have equal opportunities to gain knowledge from schools. This will lead to a well-educated workforce, and make our country become more prosperous and productive. For instance, companies will need a well-educated and talented employee, and good public education system can provide this staff. Furthermore, some parents believe that state education system provides less resources than private school does, but this view will be diminished soon as long as we have great funds on education system.  
  
In conclusion, I firmly disbelieve that there should be any financial concessions for the families who choose private education.
Shao, your opening paragraph is a run-on sentence. Kindly remember that all the paragraphs should have a minimum of 3 sentences in order to qualify for a proper C&C and GRA consideration. Any less than that and you will get a lower score consideration because of the lack of clarity and proper sentence structure in your presentation. Writing up to 5 sentences will allow you to reach the maximum scoring potential of each paragraph.  
  
Your second paragraph is composed of under developed sentences, reasoning, and explanations. This has a direct effect again, on your GRA and C&C scoring. One topic per paragraph, properly explained with:  
  
1. Topic sentence  
2. Reasoning for the sentence  
3. Example  
4. Relevance of the example with the topic  
5. Transition sentence to the next paragraph topic  
  
Due to the mixed discussions that you present in each paragraph, you fail to meet the above requirements that would normally help you to increase your C&C score. Speaking of the C&C score, your LR score will also see problems with scoring because of your improper vocabulary usage. One example of this error can be seen in the following sentence:  
  
Firstly, if we decide not to pay taxes to enhance the **intact** of state schools  
-What do you mean by "intact"? Did you mean to use the term "impact" instead?  
  
Proof reading for clarity and scoring considerations towards the end of the exam time will always help increase your overall scoring. If you do not leave at least 5-10 minutes to review your work before submission, you leave these problems unattended without remembering that every mistake you make with your writing will have an impact on each scoring consideration. You could end up with an unexpected low score in the final scoring. Reviewing, editing, and revising your essay should become a standard part of your daily practice runs under a timed situation setting.
## encouraging to physical exercises for better health

  
  
SOME PEOPLE THiNK THAT INCREASING THE NUMBER OF SPORTS FACILITIES IS THE BEST WAY TO IMPROVE PUBLIC HEALTH, BUT OTHERS BELIEVE THAT IT HAS LITTLE EFFECTS AND WE NEED OTHER MEASURE TO IMPROVE IT  
  
In the modern age, raising the number of sports activities is believed to be the most efficient solution to boost the public health. However, I support that both the above method and other approaches should be combined.  
  
On the one hand, the increasing number of sports facilities would bring particular positive effects on the wellness of the public. First of all, due to he faster pace of life and the heavier workloads, people hardly have any spare time left after working as well as studying, so it will better if there are more easy-to-reach sports facilities. Additionally, more some work-out is necessary for the public to have a better health.  
  
On the other hand, the above solution is supposed to bring only a few position effects. First, increasing the number of sports facilities does not attract all kinds of people because some of them may have financial problems or they may also have no interest in these places. Most people think that they are able to keep fit at their home without going to the gyms. Moreover, these activities take a long time to take favorable influence and people cannot wait, particularly the people who would like to lose weight. Because of this busy life and the fast speed of living, they are not patient enough to keep going to the gym and they want to take effects immediately.  
  
As well as, physical activities, there are other ways of tackling the problem. The first measure imposing taxes on food and alcohol companies which decrease the number of people taking in them. Moreover, schools and universities should have more extracurriculars not only to encourage their students to be more active but also help to improve the public's health.  
  
To reduce the health issue, people need a combination of many methods to tackle it.  
THANK YOU (^.^)
I think your paraphrasing introduction and conclusion are too short to convey meaning and intention. You can either add some brief explanations or use alternative phrases to lengthen your sentences, which will bring you lexical mark.  
  
Some mistakes I detected:  
particularly positive effects  
which decreases  
And you need to explain this to some extent but just state it **more some work-out is necessary for the public to have a better health.**  
  
Hope that helps
@Dang, where is the question of the topic? Without the full topic given in your post, we cannot accurately review your essay.  
... both the above **method**...  
It should be plural, methods.  
  
....  ~~other approaches~~ should be combined.  
' other approaches' should be deleted as one of the methods above is already suggested there should be other ways to improve people's health.  
  
..due to **he** faster pace..  
the  
remember to proofread your writing before submission, in any situation.  
  
..the ~~heavier~~ workloads...  
I don't see any comparison in the context so I think heavy is more suitable in this case.  
  
The conclusion is too short. You might need to work on restating all of your main points that you mentioned in your body paragraphs to this last paragraph.
## Costumers in three restaurants

  
  
The line graph illustrates the customer numbers in three restaurants during a five-days period. Overall, the number of customers in Mama's Café and Good Eats are far more than in Tom's Diner.  
  
Look at more details in the data. The amount of customers in Mama's Café reached the lowest point in three-days period. The figure showed that the number of costumers drop off rapidly from 250 people to 100 people approximately. Afterward, the numbers bounced back in the last two days and got to about 250 people again. On the other hand, costumers in Good Eats remain rise during the five days. It number stood at 250 people which was same as Mama's Café. Lastly, the number of costumers in Tom's Diner fluctuated up and down in the five days. Furthermore, the chart indicated that it reached the lowest point in the forth day for zero. In comparison with the other restaurants, the amount of costumers in Tom's Diner was the smallest.  
  
In conclusion, the fluctuation of costumer numbers in Mama's Café was the most noticeable, and the figure in the line graph of Good Eats grew steady. Subsequently, costumers in Tom's Diner was the lowest according to the chart.
Dear all, please help to comment, many thanks!  
  
## the success of education - who's behind of it?

  
  
**Some people believe that teachers have an important role to play in the educational success, while others think it is the student's attitude that matters. Discuss both views and share your opinion.**  
  
It is argue that whether a good teacher or pupil's attitude play the key role to the success of education. While I believe the student's motivation is vital to the success, without assistant from the teaching staff such the goal to accomplish.  
  
On the one hand, it is undeniable that the attitude of the students influence their study which affecting their academic result. In other word the student's motivation of study is the critical factor which is to determine the success of failure of an education. So it is understandable that many people give the attitude of pupil higher importance on the academic success.  
  
On the other hand, it is also agreed by others that teacher play the essential position to lead a success education. The good teacher must be the good student to himself, which means he can spot the needs and wants of his students by observation during lesson, and then work out the suitable teaching plans in order to improve the academic results of his pupils.  
  
In my opinion, I believe that a good teacher is the prime key toward the educational success as of his ability on motivating their students on study. Since they help to increase the number of students with good attitude, as a result this lead the higher chance of educational success in future.  
  
In conclusion, while some believe that both teaching staff and pupil are playing a vital factor on the success of education, I weight teacher the most due to their talent on influencing student to be more motivative on study, which toward the educational success as a result.
Hi guys, this is my essay regarding IELTS self-preparation. I am looking for any IELTS Writing feedback in which they are able to assess my essay from Task Response (TR) , Coherence and Cohesion (CC), Lexical Resource (LR), and Grammatical Range Accuracy (GRA). I may intensely contact you often to get some exposure in IELTS Writing section.  
  
## the "gap year" essay

  
  
"**Some people believe that a gap year between school and university is a good idea, while others disagree strongly. Consider both sides of this debate and present your own opinion.**"  
  
Most people believe that taking a year off between school and college is a top-notch decision, while others put it as the conversial one. The two sights are going to be discussed and I will consider through my opinion.  
  
Society assume that gap year is slightly pricy as students probably spend their whole time to travel and not preparing for the college test. They tend to waste their time hopefully to get a self discovery through exploring some places, but in the fact, it seems it does not effectively effect to their self improvement. Finally, they do not have much time to sit in college test and their intention to go to the college as they wish is absolutely gone.  
  
Conversely, gap year enthusiasts think that this helps them to consider which major suits their needs or passion. For example, a gap year taker will be flexible to attend many seminars regarding future plan in hope they will build a clear goal, at least for their own life. If they do it properly, they will particularly success in both university and job field. Thus gap year benefits them in the tunnel to figure out how they may set their future life.  
  
Overall, I suppose that a year off process brings its positivity in which it outweighs the bad impact to society. It can be concluded that taking gap year will securely protect them from misleading major as the future demands them to be success in both academic and real hands-on practical process.
Hi. Since I am not an advanced writer, so I am unable to assess your essay based on the four criterias.  
  
First, the IETLS task 2 requires 250 words, however you've just barely exceed it. I think you should write more next time.  
  
Second, the prompt asks you:  
"**Consider both sides of this debate**"  
"**and present your own opinion.**"  
  
So your paragragh should be in this structure:  
-Introduction  
-View 1  
-View 2  
-**YOUR OWN OPINION**  
-Conclusion  
You've missed your POV paragraph.  
  
Third, grammar errors:  
-"~~Society~~ The publics assume" . The society in your context, I found it very weird language to read it.  
-"~~Finally~~As a result, they do not have ..."  
  
-"They tend to waste their time ..." . I would write They spend their time in a hope of getting themselves value adventures in some places. However, it leads to the adverse effect in which those stundents get no improvements  
  
Finally, I see your sentences structures and lexical usages are not really precise, maybe it's because of your first time. I hope my feedbacks will help you and better luck in your next writing.
You should write a thesis statement with your general opinion rather than this "The two sights are going to ..."  
  
You need to work on sentence structure. It is difficult to depict ideas from your sentences. Wrong use of collocation e.g securely protect,major suits,effectively effect.  
  
You need to work hard on your writing. Start from the grammar. Read books like official guide to Cambridge and The Key to IELTS Success.  
  
You must know how writing is marked i-e  
Task achievement,  
Coherence and cohesion  
Lexical resource  
Grammar and vocab..  
  
Improve your writing accordingly. Read how band 6,7,8,9 are marked it would help you to practice in the right direction.
Alif, had it not been for the run on sentence in the first presentation of your prompt paraphrase, it would have gotten you an admirable score in terms of Task Accuracy considerations. Don't separate 2 ideas with a comma. Use a period. This is a test that wants to assess how well you can state facts individually rather than a confusing long sentence. A long sentence does not equal a complex sentence. Remember that.  
  
Your second paragraph would have been stronger and clearer in presentation if you had omitted the little developed last sentence. The last sentence that you put in was a different discussion topic and needed more development in order to qualify for a better C&C score as part of the original paragraph discussion.  
  
While you do present a personal opinion discussion, what your essay clearly lacks of the summary conclusion. That is the last paragraph that ties together the whole discussion based on the given reasons in the body of the paragraph. That is what you need to develop during your next practice test that uses a similar prompt requirement.
**Many people try to look younger than they really are. What are the reasons for that? Is it a positive or negative development?**  
  
## people desire to look young

  
  
Nowadays, there are a larger number of people desiring to look young for their age because of different reasons. In my opinion, the trend is negative and people should not persure that development.  
  
First of all, people usually need many resources such as time and money in order to be a youthful people than the actual age. There are many beauty methods can make people are more beautiful and younger such as making up, massaging which are time-consuming to do. For example, since, many women spend much time on making up before going out, they might go to meetings, dating late. In addition, people usually take big money for beauty methods to have a younger looking and more appealing. The fact that the cost of a cosmetic surgery and high-tech beauty devices are ordinarily out of touc h with people who have a low or medium income.  
  
One of the other drawbacks is that there are a larger amount of bad effects on health when people attempt to have a pretty and youthful imagine by unnatural approaches. Some beauty products which are bad quality can have unwanted effects when people apply them on skin, hair. In fact, in some bad situations, people might come out in a rash on their body or even catch a skin cancer if they use that products in a long time. Furthermore, cosmetic surgeries as cheek lift, breast lift can carry potential risks. People have higher risk of developing complications such as heart attack, lung cancer, pneumonia, stroke and shorten their life span.  
  
In conclusion, to look younger can make people be more confident with their body imagine. However, the disadvantages of beauty methods are extremely serious therefore people should not overuse them.