dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
Mosi,. this essay will automatically get a failing TA score because you changed the prompt discussion requirements. You have not structured the essay to respond to the given question which is:  
  
*Original Prompt: To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer.  
Your Response: Finding safe replacement powers which have less side-effects on environment are vital in the world. I will explain it in details in the following paragraphs.*  
  
Based on this major error, it is clear that you did not understand the question being asked, which is why you did not respond to the question properly. Hence, the essay will automatically get a failing TA score, which is a significant part of the scoring consideration. That is why a test taker who fails the TA section will automatically find that his essay will get a failing score.  
  
TA MIstake + Other errors = Non-Passing Score  
  
Due to this, I cannot even continue to review your essay for other errors, nor correct them. You did not follow the discussion prompt, this essay will not pass. You should have paraphrased and responded to the question in a manner similar to this:  
  
*It is said that humans need to find a safe alternative to non-renewal fuel sources. That is why there is a keen desire to find and harness these other sources of energy across the world. I am in total agreement that other sources of fuel and energy need to be discovered and enhanced worldwide for several reasons.*
**In many countries it is now illegal to advertise alcohol. Do you agree or disagree?**  
  
## Advertising alcoholic should be banned

  
  
Smoking is one of crucial social problems, but alcohol also becomes major concern because many countries have prohibited all the ads of that. It is agreed to ban the companies to promote alcohol due to the detrimental effects on our body and the power of media to influence consumers.  
  
Advertising alcoholic should be banned because it is harmful to human health. Drinking to much causes some serious illness such as liver cancer, diabetes, and heart diseases. Despite the utility to warm our body, most people consume alcohol only for entertaining and finally have terrible end. For instance, Indonesia has huge problem with alcoholism and many men were dying because of it, but after the government restrict the promotion of alcoholic at television, newspaper, and internet, it is resulted a significant reduction of such cases.  
  
In addition, it is inevitable that ads could persuade someone to buy more alcohol. This strengths of promotion could danger innocent people who might try alcohol as well as the addict ones. The main goal of any advertisement is to sell more, and the irresponsible part is when they distort the fact by only mentioned the positives and cut the drawbacks. I often saw billboards with a picture of handsome guy who drink beer accompanied by pretty and sexy women to show that drinking alcohol is cool and enjoyable in many billboards for example. The ads never talked about the danger impact for long term huge consumption.  
  
In conclusion, if a country want to drop the number of drinkers, they should restrict the alcohol ads for the sake of community health. So, what can society do? They could support the government, and be critical of exaggerated promotion.
There are some grammatical mistakes here:  
  
should be changed to "advertising alcoholic beverages" or "advertising alcohol"  
  
should be changed to "if a country wants to drop the number of drinkers"  
  
In addition:  
  
"It is agreed to ban the ..."  
  
This phrase could be worded better; it doesn't sound right.  
  
Also, your write-up is vey unbalanced. You are against the advertising of alcoholic drinks, but you don't explore any positives of it: helping the economy, providing jobs, preventing other more serious addictions, etc.
***## In many countries smoking in now illegal in public places

.  
Do you agree or disagree?***  
  
Smoking has been one of the crucial problems that caused numerous countries have banned smoking in public spaces. Personally, I agree to restrict the place for smokers due to the injurious to passive smokers and the huge expenditure of this stuff.  
  
Making public spaces clear from smoke would protect those who do not smoke. It is commonly believes that the toxic of cigarette brings pollutant for both active and passive smokers. Based on Health Journal from Gadjah Mada University, 20% of children in Indonesia with lungs cancers or infection in their respiratory system came from smoke environments. Having conducted some research, they also deduced that smoking is dangerous not only for the doer, but also individuals around them who actually has based right to in hale with the uncontaminated air. If government do not arrange no smoking area rules, it will brings detrimental effects for the innocents.  
  
In developing countries, the economic issue also could aggravates this smoking problem. It is commonly recognized that the cigarettes are expensive because of the heavy taxes. In addition, most smokers are addict so they depend on smoke, causing anxiety when they do not taste the nicotine. Meanwhile some studies show surprised data that most low-income families spend 30% of their earning which is the same percentages for meals on cigarette. Thus, by limiting the places to smoke, hopefully it could reduce the number of cigarette consumer and will effects the financial sector positively.  
  
In conclusion, government should prohibits smokers to smoke in public areas for the sake of community health and surged prosperity level. This is why currently many develop countries as well as developing countries label smoking as illegal action in several public places, although sometimes smoking areas is still provided around to separate the active and passive smokers.
In my opinion, your ideas are quite good and well-developed and I'm impressed by the figures provided in your essay.  
However, your essay has too many basic grammatical and lexical mistakes. Let me point out some of them:  
  
Smoking is one of the most crucial social problems, so numerous countries have banned smoking in public spaces.  
  
many developed countries  
  
hopefully, it could reduce the number of cigarette consumers and will affect the financial sector positively.  
  
the government should prohibit smokers  
  
I suggest you should check your grammar after finishing your essay, maybe through websites such as Grammarly.
## More people decided to have children in their later age than in the past. Why?

  
***Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages?***  
  
Over the last few decades, an increasingly popular social trend among millennials is having children at an older age than their prior generations. This essay will present some underlying reasons of this modern choice.  
  
To begin with, later age is widely perceived as perfect timing for upbringing a kid in terms of stable financial status. When young people have not settled down their career and life-long plans, they are not able to cope with a relatively burdening economic requirement of upbringing another individual. Consequently, the kids whose parents failed to provide adequate needs are in the sphere of lack of education, illnesses and social maladies. Moreover, the close relationships between family member are at risk due to the significant lack of time spent together since parents are involved in the nowadays incessant race to better salaries.  
  
In addition, parenting demands several integral skills whereas younger individuals are not fully up to scratch. Taking care of a child entails patience, sensibility and numerous other dignities. If one cannot adopt these characteristics, bringing up the kid will turn out to be extremely tiring and stressful. More seriously, these uncomfortable feelings can transform into aggressive reactions or even domestic violence cases which stem from the hatred of incapability.  
  
Opponents of this viewpoint may claim the negative effects of old-age pregnancy on the mother. However, this proposition is not completely convincing as modern convenience has offered much safer and affordable services which allow people to define their own perfect timing for parenthood.  
  
In conclusion, this trend is proven to have positive impact on the modern social world. Despite a few indiscernible flaws, it will assure a brighter and more civilised future for our next generations.  
  
I highly appreciate your constructive messages, also, I would be grateful if you could mark my essay. Thank you for your help!
1) in the introductory paragraph you say that you will explore the reasons, but you did not answer the main question: Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages? It is better to answer precisely that, for example, «this essay will explain why there are more pros than cons regarding this issue». it is very important  
  
2) it is better to use child than a kid, its more academic  
  
3) word upbringing is used twice, better to use raise (or another synonym)  
  
4) in the end, I would add straightforwardly that «there are more advantages...», to point it out to an examiner that you answered the essay question.  
  
It has sophisticated vocabulary and idioms which is very good.  
  
I personally was given band 7 for writing, so I am not an absolute expert and can`t evaluate your essay with a grade, just pointed out what caught my eye. I recommend watching youtube videos on writing 2. there are some good advices. Good luck!
Ta, due to the fact that you did not understand the discussion prompt and you changed the discussion format for the essay, you will automatically receive a failing TA score. The TA score requires you to show a clear understanding of the discussion requirements by showing that you properly responded to the prompt question or represented the prompt discussion requirements. You failed to accomplish this task because the original discussion question was:  
  
*Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages? Why?*  
  
and your response was:  
  
*This essay will present some underlying reasons of this modern choice.*  
  
While your discussion topic representation is correct, the discussion response was so off the mark, I had no choice to give this essay a failing score for the TA section. Now, as you can see from the review given to you above for your actual essay writing, you have several other mistakes related to other scoring considerations that would definitely grant you a low to failing score in some instances. Therefore, this sort of essay writing will not find itself getting anywhere near a passing score had this been an actual test. You would have failed due to overall scoring considerations, but mostly because of the TA section failure on your part.  
  
Before you continue to write practice tests, read the various Task 2 sample essays at this site first. Learn from those presentations. Discover the right and wrong way to respond to specific prompt instructions. That is the only way you can pass the test. Familiarize yourself before you write any more practice tests.
## the potential of AI to benefit humans is limitless

  
  
**Some people believe that developments in the field of artificial intelligence will have a positive impact on our lives in the near future. Others, by contrast, are worried that we are not prepared for a world in which computers are more intelligent than humans. Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion.**  
  
While it is believed that the increasing intelligence of machines will bring numerous benefits to our society in several decades, some people argue that it will do more harm than good. In my opinion, despite having some negative aspects, artificial intelligence will affect our lives in a positive way.  
  
On the one hand, these disruptive technologies may negatively impact humans. It is argued that they will rob men of labor, and unemployment will rise. For example, thousands of people are out of work owing to the growing number of automated machines in manufacturing. More taxi drivers are also laid off since intelligent automobiles using the latest technology are able to drive themselves. Furthermore, if humans lost control over super-intelligent machines, the consequences would be devastating. Some autonomous weapons using AI may cause mass casualties if they are used carelessly.  
  
On the other hand, it is undeniable that superhuman AI will be beneficial for our society. Modern convenience has enhanced efficiency in various fields from agriculture to education. In education, for instance, in remote areas where schools are few, students still get access to learning materials and personalized lessons with the help of virtual assistants. Also, more farmers are applying AI devices to monitor crops more effectively; therefore, there will be more agricultural products to meet the growing food demand. Moreover, although more repetitive low-skilled jobs are done by machines, intelligent technologies have generated more technical professions such as software developments and data analysts.  
  
In conclusion, in spite of some doubts in the future of AI, I believe that the potential for it to benefit humans is limitless.
Hi everyone! I'm a new member. I'm practicing for ielts but my english is not really good. If you are not busy, please help me find out some mistakes that I have made, thanks for all.  
  
## uk air pollutants between 1990 and 2005

  
  
My writing:  
The diagram gives information on three sources which cause the air pollution in the United Kingdom between 1990 and 2005.  
It is clear from the graph that there was a downward trend in the total air pollutant in the UK in 15-year-period. Besides, the amount of emission from industry is bigger than that of household and transport through the period shown .  
  
In 1990, there was 7 million tons of air pollutant which are produced in this country. Industry became the main source with about 5.5 tons. The figure for emission from the household and transportation are the same with about 0.9 tons. From 1990 to 1996, while the amount of air pollutant from transport was unchanged and from households decrease slightly, that of industry went into free fall to 3 tons. As a result, the total air pollutant rocket by 2 tons.  
  
From 1996 to 2005, air pollutant from industry and households continued decline while that of transport increase slightly. In 2005, households hardly produced air pollutant. Industry accounted for 2 million tons of air pollutant, doubled the figure for transport.  
  
*
Hi, this is great essay you illustrated the graph very well. But just little mistakes in the grammer:  
"bigger than that of household and transport" This noun is missing a determiner before it. just like "the".  
"tons of air pollutant which are " I think here you mean pollutants instead of pollutant to be consistent with the verb to be "are".  
"continued decline while" This noun is missing a determiner. Like "a" or "the".
Le, I can understand that with only 20 minutes to write this essay, you would be rushed in presenting all of the required information. With that said, it is still of the utmost importance that you properly identify that sort of image was presented for review in the summary overview. You must identify the type of illustration and also indicate the discussion points, based on the items provided in the graph to fulfill the TA requirements properly. You only have a partially representative summary overview at this point which will lower your scoring consideration in the TA aspect.  
  
Do not use words such as "Besides" in this essay as the word connotes information that is not important but has to presented anyway. All of the information in the graph is important and should be noted. Therefore, a straightforward presentation of the information would be best, without room for question regarding the relevance of the information presented.
## The question is in the picture.

  
*This is my first attempt to this kind of IELTS writing task 1, which is known as describing map. Therefore my essay was really cumbersome in some extent. I wanna ask, how do you usually approach to this kind of question? Any value answer or feedback is appreciative.*  
  
Writing  
  
The two given pictures display the development of a town in Lakeside from 2000 to 2009.  
  
As can be seen clearly from these pictures, the town has undergone a significant change in most features, except for school, river and Northwestern residential area.  
  
In 2000, there were Derelic Warehouse and Old Town located to the west of the lake. Nine years later, while the lake was replaced by pond, Derelic warehouse and Old Town were made place to Car park and Office and University respectively.  
  
Prior to the advent of the shopping center in 2009 on the southwest of the map, there was a residential area there nine years ago. Opposite to the shopping center in the Northside was a cinema, which was a replacement for the previous art center of the year 2000. Finally, the most noticeable change was the removal of the south residential area. It was eliminated to make more space for the Industrial complex expansion in 2009.  
  
*
General advice: in writing task 1, in para 1, you normally paraphrase the question in you own words. you introduce the reader to the question by just switching up a few words from the question line.  
  
in para 2, you give an overall description of what happened. Here, you say that in both,there were significant changes while some areas remained unchanged.(dont need to specify the changes. these are for para 3 and 4)  
  
in para 3 and/or 4, you find similarities and differences between the 2 maps. writie about similarities in 1 para and differences in 1 para.  
  
or  
  
you can write about what stayed same in 1 para and write about what changed in the next.  
  
a conclusion isnt required if you write the overall paragraph (para 2).  
  
Response to your writing: You referred to the maps as pictures. this may cost you some marks. examiners dont want you to change these wordings. if the question says map, then its safe to call it a map.  
  
Your para 2 was fine, but ill suggest you to start with overall, so that the examiner knows its an overall paragraph.  
  
In para 3 and 4, you divided the changes and what remained same between the 2 paras. you should talk about what got changed in only 1 para and what remained same in another para. its better to not mix them up.  
  
**for help with task 1, i highly recommend this youtube channel:  
IELTS-up Online lessons. They break down what you need to write really well. It helped me get a 7.5 in writing. Goodluck!**
Thank you for taking your time to give me such quality feedback. But I find it unbalanced if you divide 2 analyzing paragraph into writing similarities and differences. Because in this kind of task 1, the differences are usually more significant than the similarities ( I mean, there are more ideas to write about differences than similarities). So it seems your idea given to me is not really persuasive.  
  
But still tho, you deserve to get a million thanks from me!
Hello all! Thank you for taking the time to read my post and please give me some advice/ suggestion about my writing! :)  
  
## trouble in a class

  
  
*Writing Topic: Most students have had some type of difficulty in one course or another. In an essay to be read by an audience of educated adults, identify one class in which you faced difficulty as either a student or as a teacher, describe the difficulty, and how you handled the situation.*  
  
Imagine when you set in a room for an hour and the teacher looks like in a slow-motion movie that making speaking voice, but you hardly understand the abstract lines on the whiteboard. That is how I felt in my first physic class during my freshman year.  
  
At that time, it was my first year of studying in the United States. Frankly, I was overwhelmed by learning the new concepts and extending my English skills at the same time. Indeed, my physics class gave me a head-on blow during the first week of the school. Well, not too much to blame on my teacher, just myself felt like I was sunk in the physic ocean but hardly to absorb any. I could not activate my prior knowledge or make connections to the lesson.  
  
However, I cannot just give up without trying. I felt really embarrassed to talk to my professor about my situation because in my culture, is not normal to ask for help. My professor did give me some learning tips about the topic that we learned and allowed me to use a physical dictionary during the test. But still, I need more "magic spells" to crush this course.  
  
Therefore, I started to look into mandarin physics' book to use my first language to help me re-learn the concepts. And link the concepts with the English expression that we used in the classroom. It does take extra learning time for me, but once I felt I started to understand the lecture, I became more engaged in the lesson as well as felt encouraged in the learning process. At the end of that class, I was safely passed my tests. Although I did not crush it perfectly, it stills a satisfied and memorable learning experience for me.
Zhu, the best accomplishment that you have with this piece of essay writing is that you were able to prove that your English skills have reached the point where you can properly understand the instructions being given to you in a test. Your essay has remained on topic throughout and you have shown a connected discussion going from one paragraph to another. You have done excellent work in regards to those presentation requirements. Now for the bad news.  
  
Unfortunately, your English writing skills and vocabulary is not at the same level as your English comprehension skills. Since this is an essay test that focuses on your English writing abilities, you are expected to write clearly and coherently. That is why I am sad to tell you that I do not believe that you can get a score higher than 2 for this essay. The main reason that I believe your work is only at this level of scoring consideration is based on your writing skills and paragraph presentation.  
  
Your word choice and usage is not always correct. You are using broken English throughout the presentation, without making an effort to try and create a properly structured sentence using proper vocabulary. Your sentence structures are all choppy and do not show any sign of you approaching at least an intermediate English user skill. Your paragraphing and sentence structure errors are so distracting, the reader tends to give up in trying to figure out what you are trying to say. There is a lack of clarity in your presentations due to your inability to properly format a simple sentence in English. You are trying to write complex sentences when you are not yet capable of doing so. Keep your presentations simple.  
  
Try to work in some English sentence structure exercise time into your study period. Don't focus on the essay writing test at this point. You will not be able to pass that part of the test if your writing skills are this mediocre. Develop your sentence structure skills first, increase your vocabulary knowledge second, then do the essay writing test third or last. Only then will you be able to develop an essay that can properly inform the target audience.