dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
Hi Husnul,  
  
Here's my contributions towards your report summary of IELTS task 1. I hope you can follow through.  
  
1st paragraph:  
- The ~~table presented~~presented table illustrates the percentage of ~~two conducted surveys~~two surveys about the significant level of communication skills in work place that had been conducted~~in~~between 1997 and 2006 ~~about the significant level of communication skills in work place.~~  
  
- ~~At a glance~~At glance / Overall , it can be seen ~~obviously~~(if you combine "seen" and "obviously", it would make it redundant. Something that can be "seen" is ALWAYS something that OBVIOUS.) that both ~~of~~ trends witnessed a dramatic~~al~~ increase.  
  
2nd paragraph:  
- The next **three skills**; analysing problems together with others... (avoid making a sentence that is considered as "shop-listing" like this one. Writing more than two data in a single sentence would ruin the final grade of your essay.)  
  
As seen, I did alter some of your sentences in order to improve the quality of your essay. Therefore, I hope the next practice would be better than this one. Do not hesitate to ask if you need further assistance. Good luck :)
The presented table provides the percentages of two different surveys outcome about the essential communication skills in internal and external area over 9 years. As it can be seen that mostly all the communication aspects was slightly increased, only selling a product or service went down than all the items of communication skills.  
  
Knowledge and particular products or services was the highest enhancement in external communication. Followed by dealing with people that rose 5 % from its result before. Advising or caring for customers or clients showed its percentage in 1997 was 36 percent and by 2006 it had peaked into 39 %. 24 percent was displayed in 1997 by selling a product or service, although by 2006 it had gone down 3 % and made its position was the lowest improvement in external communication skill.  
  
Internal communication which consisted of six items showed a dramatic enhancement from 1997 to 2006. Listening carefully to peers rocketed to 47 % in 2006. Next, analyzing problems together with others was 26 %, instructing or training people was 30 % and persuading or influencing others was 21 percent in 2006. Continued by making speeches and presentations rose 4 % than in 1997 and planning the activities of others was the lowest item with 1 % improvement that had showed by the end of 2006.  
  
*
Hi Russell, here's my analysis towards your report summary of IELTS task 1. I hope you can follow through.  
  
1st paragraph:  
- The presented table provides the percentage~~s~~ of two different survey~~s~~outcomes about the essential (...) over 9 years period .  
- ~~As~~Overall, it can be seen that, mostly all the communication aspects ~~was~~were slightly increased, (...) service went down ~~than~~compared to all ~~the~~ items of communication skills.  
  
- I assume that one more sentence is needed to complete the way that you present the information in the overview or introduction of your essay. Your mistake was compressing the information into the two sentences you presented.  
  
2nd paragraph:  
- ... products or services ~~was~~were the highest enhancements in external communication.  
- It is followed by dealing with people that rose 5%(no space needed for percentage symbol) from ~~its result before~~the previous result . (fragmented sentence, be careful)  
  
- I reckon that similar mistakes appear here. Percentage symbol should not be separated from the number.  
  
As you can see, several modifications and corrections have been applied in this essay. I hope you can do better in the next practice. Good luck :)
**Summary of TED how speak so that people want to listen (julian Treasure)**  
  
Many social-related problem being rushing up if somebody speaking is ignored by college whom they speak to. They sometimes become frustrate because of no any respond, evenmore for several number of people are squeezed by they sorrounding out. Based on Julian Tresure, the chair of the Sound Agency, some factors can trigger by their self including gosip, judging, negativity, complaining, excuses, lying and dogmatism. Those self problems can be solved by transforming personality into HAIL (Honest, authenticity, integrity and love). and forthermore, by organizing or maintaining your speak whether you want to conditionate the atmosphere of your voice such as, volume, rhyme, empisize and nuance.
Many social-related problemS being ~~rushing~~ RUSHED up if somebody'S speaking is ignored ... *[ be careful on singular/plural issue, word form chosen and subject+verb agreement. those seems simple but really affect the quality of your work]*  
  
They sometimes become frustrateD because of no any respond, ~~evenmore for several number of~~ several people are even squeezed by t~~hey~~THEIR~~sorrounding~~~~out.~~SURROUNDING  
  
*concern on the sense or function of your sentence*  
  
..., some factors can ~~trigger~~BE TRIGGERED by ~~their self~~THEMSELVES including ~~gosip,~~ judging, negativity**?**, complaining, excuses,...  
  
... transforming personality into HAIL (Honest, authenticity, integrity and love). and ~~forthermore~~ , by organizing or maintaining your speakING/SPEECH whether you want to ~~conditionate~~ the atmosphere of your voice such as, volume, rhyme, ~~empisize~~ and nuance.  
  
**misspelling is also your habitual flaw**  
good luck
Hello Ifan,  
Your summary is good, however, let me give you some inputs based on what I have noticed.  
  
Those SELF PROBLEM can be solved by transforming.....  
  
- at the first sentence you wrote GOSIP, JUDJING,NEGATIVELY,COMPLAINING,...  
and I think SELF PROBLEM is not the appropriate word there, you should use " negative attitude" or "bad Habit"
There are so many ways for living organism to face off the changes in light. That is not only for a human being, but also plant and animal are doing the same way. For example, crabs. The crab can move to the higher place when the night comes and come back to the lower place in a day. This term could help them to do every day and become the cycle in their live. Human also have a circle of their life, since the activities did every single day can it help them to do continuously the next day. People have a natural body clock that can manage them to going sleep or just to take a rest. Nonetheless, some people who productive in a job feels like confused because they don't have enough time to sleep. For people who live in the equator has equal time in a day and a night. Based on research, the inhabitant who lives without artificial light like a lamp will be easier to sleep twice in the day. They go to bed around 8:00 p.m. until midnight and then they sleep again from about 2:00 a.m. until morning. To sum up, people have a natural sleep cycle, thus, that is fair if they feel exhausted when they do not have enough time to do it.
Hi Ibal.  
These below are suggestions to finalize your summary. Hopefully, all can help you.  
GOOD LUCK  
  
*When you wanna summarize contents of a video, you should present an introduction sentence to make the resource of information clear.*  
  
That ACTIVITY is not only for a human ...  
... and become the cycle in their ~~live~~ LIFE.  
.., since the activities ~~did~~ DONE every single day can ~~it~~ help them to ~~do~~ LIVE continuously the next day.  
... can manage them to ~~goin~~ g sleep or just to take a rest. Nonetheless, some people who ARE productive in a job feel~~s~~~~like~~ confused because they ~~don't~~ DO NOT(NEVER EVER EVER WRITE CONTRACTION IN THE FORMAL WRITING) have enough time to sleep. For people who live in the equator ~~has~~ HAVE THE equal time in a ...  
  
To sum up, people have ~~a~~ THE natural sleep cycle, thus,
Hi Ibal,  
Let me give you some inputs related to your summary.In my opinion,your essay is not cohesion. Let me show you,  
  
-The CRAB can move to the higher place ...  
This term could help THEM to do (...) the cycle in THEIR live.  
  
At the first sentence, you mention CRAB, that' s why you shoul use IT there.  
Pay attention more in using pronoun.
**Some people say that the clothes people wear are the most important indication of what they are like. Others, however, say that people should not be judged by the clothes they wear. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.**  
  
Many people assume that someone who dresses well is a good person and another one who wears unpleasant clothes is a bad one. Meanwhile, others think that judging somebody by their appearance is not fair. In my opinion, having good looking may create a respectable assumption but it is not the most important thing that shows the real personality of an individual.  
  
In a common way, people choose what they wear based on their fashion style and their certain purposes. For instance, teenagers usually have unique dressing style and more likely to wear many kinds of clothes with bright colour. In other side, most adults are more willing to wear casual and elegant ones. Another example, someone who works in formal sector like a teacher, an economist or a lawyer is prone to wear smart dress while others who have job as celebrities are dressing in luxury fashions. Therefore, in these ways clothes may indicate personal backgrounds but do not reveal their personality.  
  
On the other hand, personal behaviour and attitude should be more essential to know what kind of person someone exactly is. A good man should have good behaviour such as polite, responsible, humble, easy going, open minded, and so on. The preserve, a bad guy are supposed to be a person who speaks rudely, arrogant, petulant, and having others bad attitudes. Sometimes, even though someone dresses smartly, it is not a guaranty that they have good attitudes. Also when a person wears unpleasant clothes, it does not mean he is a bad individual.  
  
In conclusion, the way of people dressing is not the most important aspect to point out their true characteristic. Other essential things to know the personality of someone are their daily behaviour and attitudes.
Hi Eka, here's my take on the last two paragraphs of your essay.  
  
- A good man should have a good behavior  
- The preserve, a bad guy are supposed to be a person who speaks rudely, ... - this sentence is quiet confusing, what exactly do you mean?  
  
- it is not a ~~guaranty~~guarantee that they  
- ~~have~~possess a good attitude~~s~~ .  
- Also, (don't forget your punctuation marks ) when  
- a person wears ~~unpleasant~~tacky clothes,  
- it does not mean he is a bad ~~individual~~person .  
  
- In conclusion, the way ~~of~~ people dress~~ing~~ is not the  
- most important aspect to point out ~~their~~a persons - ~~someone are~~a person is through their daily  
  
There you have it Eka, I hope the above remarks are helpful.
Hi ekalamarsyari11,  
  
I am following the below introduction structure for **Discuss and opinion** essay.  
  
Introduction  
**Sentence 1- Paraphrase Question**  
*There is an ever growing observable fact of justifying human by their physical appearance, such as how we look and how we dress, by family members, friends or even colleagues.*  
  
**Sentence 2- State Both Points of View**  
It is often agreed that this is the right way whilst others oppose and refers it will lead to adverse ramifications.  
  
**Sentence 3- Thesis Statement**  
This essay agrees that the way one looks has no bearing on the job performance and everyone should be judged solely on his/her merits.  
  
**Sentence 4- Outline Sentence**  
*Both viewpoints will be discussed in this essay and hence, will fortify the above statement.*
Public Wi-Fi sometimes infuriates the users when it has a sudden lag even in the huge scale of any business places. According to this basis, Google attempts to get rid of the problems through establishing Internet service providers and hardware companies.  
  
The technology of this new enterprise will ease the users as the system is independent on preconfiguration WiFi routers. Hence, users access the Internet using a single username and password without asking to the waiter in the restaurant anymore.  
  
Following that, google has offered Internet connection facilitated through high-speed Google Fiber. Moreover, google has strive to alter New York City payphones with internet kiosk and undertaken the project with India whose state-owned rail system has been offered with Wi-Fi stations nationwide.  
  
Google has prepared for this expansion at its best. Therefore, the company will seriously propose the Internet to public places all over the world.  
  
wired.com/2016/09/google-station/
Hi Rizaldo, please find additional remarks to enhance your summary.  
  
- ~~According to this basis~~With this observation , - Google plans~~attempts~~ to get rid  
- of the problems through ~~establishing~~an established  
  
- ease the users access to the internet as the system  
- is independent ~~on preconfiguration~~to a pre- configured WiFi routers.  
- ~~to~~ the waiter in the restaurant anymore.  
  
- undertaken the project ~~with~~in India  
- whose state-owned railway system has  
- Therefore, the company will seriously propose ~~the~~ Internet access to public places all over the world.  
  
There you have it Rizaldo, I'm not sure if this is my first review of your essay but I hope the modifications are helpful and even more so, valuable to your revision.
The pie charts illustrate about energy generation by fuel type in Florida in two separated years. Overall, the charts show the trend fuel in 2007 and trend prediction in 2017. It is clear that Natural gas is the most popular fuel in 2007 and is predicted will ascend in 2017, whereas renewables at the lowermost.  
  
In 2007, Florida Natural gas consumption is less than two-fifths, and the amount of Natural gas by average Florida predicted will rise to just over a half in 2017. During the same period, Nuclear utilizing is predicted will climb from 11,9 percent to 15,9 percent.  
  
By 2017, several consumption of energy is predicted will be plummeting. Coral consumption is depicted to descend to approximately 23,7 percent. On the other hand, renewable has a very small number and will plunge to 1,5 percent in 2017. Other energy estimated to sharp drop from just over one in ten to less than one in twenty, while oil plunge to a small number.  
  
*
hai fauzi  
here's some suggestions for you  
I hope it helps  
  
... generation by fuel type in Florida ~~in two separated years.~~**and it separated within two years.**  
  
... the trend fuel in 2007 and ~~trend~~it prediction in 2017.  
  
... is less than two-fifths, and the amount of Natural gas by average Florida predicted will rise to just over a half in 2017.I do not know about this sentence maybe " the amount of natural gas will predicted rose to over a half in 2017"  
  
... Nuclear utilizing is predicted ~~will climb~~increased gradually from 11,9 percent to 15,9 percent.  
  
By 2017, several consumption**s** of energy is predicted ...  
  
thank you
Hi Tami, please find additional suggestions below, on order to enhance your analysis.  
  
- The pie charts illustrate ~~about~~the energy  
- in Florida in two separate~~d~~ years.  
- Overall, the charts show the trend of fuel in  
- is predicted ~~will~~to ascend in 2017,  
- whereas renewable~~s~~fuel are at the lowermost.  
  
- gas by average ~~Florida~~is predicted  
- ~~will~~to rise to  
- just over ~~a~~ half in 2017.  
- Nuclear ~~utilizing~~utilization is predicted  
- ~~will~~to climb from  
- ~~several~~ consumption of energy is predicted  
- ~~will be plummeting~~to plummet .  
- renewable energy has a very small  
- Other forms of energy estimated to  
- ~~sharp~~ drop sharply from just over one  
  
There you have it Tami, I hope you follow through with the corrections above and for future writing reference, mind the form if the words you incorporate in your analysis and make sure to stick to the information given in the diagram.
The largest radio telescope in the world is located in China. It is look like Five-hundred-metre Aperture Spherical Telescope that start to observe on outer space.  
  
This tool is located in the remote mountainous areas of Guizhou Province in Southwest China, which can help to protect peoples from interference of radio waves, which are signals sent by a mobile phone and Wi-Fi.  
  
Construction began in 2011, spurred the relocation of a small village. The telescope can go through stages of testing and improvement before full operation began, according to the Chinese Academy of Sciences.  
  
The telescope, named for the size of this tool is about 200 meters wider than the rival, the Arecibo Observatory in Puerto Rico, built in the early 1960.  
  
That means that it will be able to see fainter objects from Arecibo telescope also the function can detect, said Michael Nolan at University of Arizona in Tucson  
  
To avoid problems in this tool, FAST mirror panels and receivers designed to move directly, allowed scientists to create a bowl-shaped parabolic pointing at any part of the sky under observation.
Hi Andika, below are my thoughts on your summary essay.  
  
- the world is ~~located~~found in China.  
- It is ~~look like~~a Five-hundred-metre  
- that ~~start~~is set to to observe  
- ~~on~~the outer space.  
- which can help ~~to~~ protect people~~s~~ from interference  
- of radio waves~~, which are~~and signals are sent by a mobile phone and a Wi-Fi.  
  
- The telescope ~~can go~~went through  
- ~~That~~This means that it will  
- ~~also~~and one of its~~the~~ function can detect,  
  
- receivers are designed to move directly,  
  
There you have it Andika, I hope the above remarks are helpful to your revision, I believe it's the minor details that you have to focus and pay attention to, as they are key aspects that brings the sentences together.
***The table gives the results of two surveys, in 1997 and 2006, in which people were asked which communication skills were essential in their job  
  
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevent***  
  
The table gives information about the result of two surveys in 1997 and 2006. Overall, communication skills which essential are in the job is dealing with people it comes from external part and listening carefully to colleagues it comes from internal part.  
  
In 1997 the percentage of dc about 60 percent. After six years the percentage increased by 5%. On the other hand, in 1997, selling a product or service about 24%. It is the lowest percentage in the external part. Next, in 2006 the percentage decrease by 3%.  
  
However, in 1997 the percentage of listening carefully to colleagues about 38% and experienced to rise by 9%. This is the highest percentage in internal part. Meanwhile, in 1997 making speeches or presentations about 7%. It is the lowest percentage in the internal part. Finally, in 2006 the percentage rised by 3%. The trend of the two parts in communication have an increased percentage in the next year.  
  
*
communication skills which essential are in the job is dealing ... ---------- communication skills which are essential in the job are dealing with people that comes from external and listening carefully to colleagues that comes from internal part.  
  
After ~~six~~ nine years the percentage ...  
  
On the other hand, in 1997, [...] percentage decrease by 3%. ( Much better you make it in one sentence, so it is not too confusing)  
  
Finally, in 2006 the percentage ~~rised~~rose by 3%
**TED Summary: Anthony Goldbloom - The jobs we'll lose to machines - and the ones we won't**  
  
Anthony has niece who has father as a lawyer and mother as a doctor. Over the time, when his niece became adult, the parents jobs are becoming extremely change. It happens because the jobs has been replaced by machines which are known as artificial intelligence.  
  
In early '90s, machine learning initially utilized in the industry which helped simple tasks. This day and age, it immensely improve since it can conduct complex assignment such as grading an essay and diagnosing diabetic people.  
  
However, the advancement of machine still has curb. It cannot solve a novel situations which can merely be conducted by people. A person can solve a new problem that he or she never even face it. This is that the ability of machine cannot tackle the issue.
Perhaps this can be some corrections.  
  
the word--"becoming extremely change"--it will be better if changed to be "becoming change extremely", it because extremely cannot be modifier of change.  
  
the word "initially utilized", you probably mean that it is passive, so it becomes "was initially utilized".  
  
the word "it immensely improve" = it immensely improves  
  
the word "a novel situations", becomes (novel situations/ the novel situations) because article a/an for singular noun.  
  
thanks may those be useful.
Hi zul. You did it well, I just want to give you few of corrections..  
  
Anthony has A niece who has father as a lawyer and mother as a doctor. Over the time, when his niece became AN adult, the ~~parents~~parent's jobs are ~~becoming extremely change~~becoming change extremly . It happens because OF the jobs ~~has~~have('has' does not appear to agree with the plural subject like 'jobs') been replaced by machines ...  
  
==> pay attention for an article in every word, preposition  
  
In THE early '90s, machine learning was initially utilized (to make it passive you need to o+v+v3) in the industry which ...  
This day and age, it immensely ~~improve~~improves(the subject pronoun it and the verb improve are not in agreement) since it can ...  
  
It cannot solve ~~a~~ novel situations (article a may not be required with the plural noun situations in this sentence) which can merely be ...  
  
Here you have it. Hope it can help you..
Alaa Murabit was nominated to address the UN General Assembly including the Commission on the Status of Women, and was nominated to address the UN Secure she works to amplify the voices of women and to highlight experiences and participation in peace processes and conflict resolution, and she recognizes that the only way to ensure the full participation of women globally was by reclaiming religion.  
  
As a young Muslim woman, she very proud of her faith. It gives her the strength and conviction to do her work every day. Initially, she focused on the economic and political empowerment of women. She thought that would lead to cultural and social change. In 2012 and 2013, her organization led the single largest and most widespread campaign in Libya. She entered homes and schools and universities, even mosques. She discussed taboo issues, like domestic violence. She spoke to 50,000 people directly, and hundreds of thousands more through television commercials, radio commercials, and posters.
Hello  
You have a good summary  
I have some corrections  
  
... the UN Secure**.**~~she~~**She** works to amplify the voices of women ~~and~~**also**to highlight experiences**.**~~and~~**While,** participation in peace processes ~~and~~ conflict resolution, ~~and~~ she recognizes that the only ...  
  
It gives her ~~the~~ strength and conviction to ...  
In 2012 and 2013, her organization led the ~~single~~ largest and most ...  
She discussed taboo issues, ~~like~~**which are**domestic violence.  
  
There is a repeated word, you can change the similar word. (and,she)
hi pandai ^^  
i would like to note you some advises  
hope it works  
  
>> you can start a summary with introduction sentence such as >>> according to....(author last name)[.,. According to "Title of the Article" (year) etc..]  
  
>>It gives her the strength and conviction to do her work ~~every day~~ everyday .  
  
>> She thought that it would lead to cultural and social change. ~~In~~between 2012 and 2013or you can use { from.... to....} , her organization led the single largest ...  
  
She entered homes,~~and~~ schools,~~and~~ universities, ~~even~~and mosques.  
  
>>She discussed about taboo issues,  
  
hope it works ^.^  
keep writing