dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
## Summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features , and makes comparisons where relevant.

  
  
Given are maps which illustrates the plan change of Islip town and its current layout.  
  
As can be seen from the maps , the countryside area will be replaced for amenities . The town will be dramatically changed and expanded to make way for sensible traffic systems.  
  
Currently , this town has a main road running straightly from the West to the East , which is through the two ranges of shops . There are two branches lead to the South where the school and the Park are. Residential area totally converges to the South of the town and there is a countryside far in the North from the town center .  
  
The most noticeable change will be the change in its traffic system into a circle area for pedestrians only , which will be covered by a dual carriageway . Therefore , the countryside and a row of shops in the North will have eliminated to make space for the bus station , shopping centre and car park area to the left . The school will remain unchanged outside the ring road , however, the Park is planned to be relocated at its current address. Beside some residential areas that have already existed , there will be space for a new one to the right of the car park and another on the left of the Park .  
  
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*this is its illustration*
The writer does not have a good command of the English language. He often creates sentences that require better structuring to create more coherent thought presentations. For instance, the reference to plan change, what does that mean? Did the writer mean "proposed changes?" or "Redevelopment plan?" or some other vocabulary that would have made immediate reference to the changes and when these are to take place? This problem is not just a vocabulary issue, it is a GRA issue as well.  
  
This is supposed to be an image representative report. That means, the assumption is that the reader will not be seeing the map as he reads this description. Therefore, there should not be any reference to "As seen on the map", because there is not supposed to be an available map for the reader. The writer needs to use a more descriptive opening sentence. Maybe a reference to a notable indicator in the image.
## People nowadays start interested in History of building or house

  
  
In some countries ,more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in.  
What are the reason for this?  
How can people research it?  
  
There is a trend in some nations today that residents living in their buildings start researching the history of them.The reasons for doing this may come from personal interests or aiding people value their current home more.People can easily finding their buildings information via surfing the Internet as well as look at aged newspaper or books available in local libraries.  
  
To begin with ,the hectic life nowadays does not leave much time for people to relax and calm.Therefore ,it is hard for them to maintain difficult pastimes such as playing chess ,making toys which require non-stop practice and amend advanced skills.Researching history of a particular construction, in the other hand, can still provide for researchers a sufficient amount of knowledge they wish to achieve without long time focusing.For example ,after leaving workplace and doing housework ,officers could spend sometime looking into reading materials which relevant to their buildings to acquire deeper knowledge to gossip with their families, peers or share on online forums.This not only results in widening their horizons but also constructing their confidence in their daily conversations.In addition ,by spending time and effort into research work ,when the final outcome is shown ,let say it is previously a hundred year- old hotel and used to serve the elite may encourage modern tenants feel proud of it.  
  
The sources for a historical building vary from the Internet,books, magazines or outdated articles.Another useful way to find and exchange knowledge about the building is register relevant forum where people are able to discuss and share their mutual objects .  
  
Bottom line ,researching about building where people occupying is not only satisfying their hobbies but also bringing the chance to communicate with others and boost the researchers' confidence as a whole.
The writer has provided an acceptable restatement + opinion response to the essay. It created a very strong basis for the succeeding discussion. Then, the discussion fell apart.  
  
It will be best not to confuse the research of architectural history with the past time of people. That presentation really confused the paragraph as it is not relevant to the question being asked. Referring to historical architecture interests would have been the best place to start the discussion. The reasons for the interest were okay at first, but the mention of "gossip" was out of place. "Discussion" or "shared interests" would have created a better reference point. The term "gossip" is not academic and has a negative connotation that should not be attached to the discussion.  
  
The explanation about how these interests can be pursued is severely under - developed. It does not offer a solid explanation in the same manner that was developed for the previous paragraph. The writer should always present a balanced and well connected discussion from one paragraph to the next.
## the impact of video games on young people

  
  
The discourse regarding the impact of video games on people, especially the youth. Many people reckon that video games influence badly on youngsters and ought to be prohibit while others believe that players will gain benefit from them. While the latter can be justified for some reasons, I am more inclined toward the former.  
  
Admittedly, video games can do advantage for children and teenagers. The main argue is that it helps people to unwind after a long hour of working and studying. By playing games, players can release stress and refresh their mind. However, video games have many drawbacks. Firstly, they are on the edge of becoming addictive. The underlying cause is that they spend too much and lose control themselves from playing video games. Secondly, it does harm for people's health leading to many illnesses such as headache or obesity. In fact, they have tendency becoming passive because they do not have enough time to both do exercises and play game.  
  
On the other hand, I personally think that it is detrimental to play video games. First, it has bad effect on study. It means that video games disturb students from studying leading to skip classes or get lower marks in exams. Secondly, video games reduce chances to communicate with others because they only concentrate on playing them and are not willing to talking any words. Finally, it impacts on our characters a lot. If the youth play a violent game, they likely act pessimistically as adults.  
  
In conclusion, though video games have some benefits, the drawbacks seem to outweigh. Thus, it should be limited to serve our mental life.
The first sentence of the restatement is a incoherent. Note that there is no subject - verb reference indicated, leaving the sentence as an incomplete thought. Every sentence is considered as a part of the logical thought process of the presentation. Where an illogical presentation exists in either sentence or paragraph presentation, C + C and GRA deductions are sure to follow.  
  
The succeeding sentences and paragraph presentations show that the student needs to gain more understanding of English vocabulary and develop his sentence structuring abilities more. The specific weaknesses do not matter at this point. Both need to be equally developed based on general grammar and vocabulary rules.
## living adjacent to the workplace

  
  
Some people prefer living near the workplace, while others do not. In this essay, I will explore the advantages and disadvantages of living near the workplace,  
  
To start with, living close to the workplace has the advantage of saving commuting time. This is good because reducing the amount of time commuting helps employees spend more time on other things such as sleeping or preparing breakfast. When I move to the new apartment near my office, I can prepare a hearty breakfast by myself. This makes me full of energy to work all day. Therefore, if the workers want to have more time to take care of themself, they should choose a place to live near work.  
  
Second of all, you can significantly save money on fuel and regular vehicle maintenance. When I stayed in my former apartment that was far away from my office, I had to spend 100 dollars per month on the fuel costs of my car. Currently, I walk to the office every day, which is close to my new home.  
  
Finally, if you forgot something important at home, you could easily pick it up. I remember that one time I forgot some important documents at home and the meeting would start in 15 minutes. Luckily, I could go home and come back in just 10 minutes.  
  
Despite these advantages, there still exists a disadvantage. Living close to work makes you feel too comfortable about your short commute to work. Because you think you will still have enough time, you tend to oversleep and end up being late for work. A good example is my friend who sometimes arrives at work late, although his office is within walking distance of his house. Not only does this make her less productive, but his boss also gets angry. That is definitely not good for his future career path  
  
To summarize, living adjacent to the workplace could bring about specific benefits, but its negative consequences should not be overlooked.
I want to rate my writing task 2. a lot.  
  
## the dilemma of subjects at schools

  
  
Some people say that schools should concentrate on teaching students academic subjects that will be useful for their future careers. Other people say that subjects such as music and sports are also necessary. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.  
  
People have different views about what subjects schools should focus on teaching for students. While some people believe that concentrating on major subjects for students would be useful for students' future careers, I believe that teaching other subjects such as music and sports is necessary for students.  
  
There are compelling reasons why people think that schools should teach and focus on academic subjects which could be useful for student's future careers. Teaching major academic subjects will help students to have a good base of knowledge which might support them when they are going to higher education levels. For instance, if a person has a good math knowledge base at the high school level, he will find it easy to be receptive to advanced math at the university level. In addition, major academic subjects would create good logical thinking for students. For example, in some research, scientists found that students who study well in major subjects often have better logical thinking than their counterparts.  
  
However, I believe that it is necessary when educational institutions should let their students study sub-subjects such as music and sports. Schools that teach sub-subjects such as music and sports might reduce the study pressure which might cause depression for their students. As a consequence, the minds of students will be relaxed after studying major subjects and the study performance of students might be better than before. Additionally, sub-subjects can be considered a good way to take scholarships from universities. I would take my cousin as an example, he won a scholarship to the music academy in Hamburg because of his music awards.  
  
In conclusion, although some people believe that educational institutions should focus on major subjects to support students' future careers, I would also argue that sub-subjects such as music and sports are also necessary.
There are certain keywords that clue in a writer when it comes to the writing format. Where the phrases " some people" and " other people" are seen, these are representative of public ideas regarding the given topic. So the "discuss" part means the writer should explain what evidences these 2 general opinions are based on, within 2 seperate paragraphs. The writer's opinion must be presented in a manner evident of the public opinion analysis prior to his final opinion decision. This writing process cannot be seen in this presentation. Discussion shortcuts were taken which made the essay response lack in proper analytical consideration ppresentation. While the personal opinion is acceptable, it could have carried a more considerable scoring potential if the correct logical discussion format was followed.  
  
\* Contact me privately for scoring services.
This is a very well developed critique of the given article. The writer shows a clear consideration of the obvious and non-obvious aspects of the discussion. The disproving content shows that the writer analyzed all the given arguments and considered all the possible sides of the discussion. It is important to note that the writer kept a professional tone throughout the essay and always used provable evidence as the basis of his opinion for each success story in the presentation.  
  
The grammar in the essay is not of an advanced English level, but it is not of a low level either. It safely places itself in the internediate level, which the writer seems very comfortable using throughout the presentation. The writer should try to make his point earlier in the statements though. The presentation tends to take a long time to get to the point. A quicker presentation would help the writer get his point across clearly and efficiently.  
  
Overall though, not a bad presentation. I do believe the writer can receive a higher than average passing score with this type of presentation.
## inclination to committing crimes

  
  
Experts proclaim that scientific trials carried out on a 3-year-old kid can enable them to speculate his or her inclination to committing crimes. Personally, I am averse to the conviction that humans are genetically criminal, and the solutions to prevent juniors from becoming criminals will be outlined in this following essay.  
  
To start from scratch, I dismiss the role of genetics-related elements in constituting misconducts as unsubstantiated for some reasons. It is undeniable that mundane characteristics such as greed or jealousy seem to exist in human instinct. However, this would be eclipsed by the influence of external factors as whether individuals are encouraged to develop or to halt those fallacious thoughts is where the problem stems from. Furthermore, due to being receptive, children are likely to be susceptible to their parents' behaviors and can be, through no fault of their own, instilled by wrongdoings of whom they consider as their role models.  
  
Given those reasons, I would suggest two main feasible resolutions for parents to help their offsprings refrain from misconducts and lead a life of virtue. Firstly, education and appropriate punishment play a crucial role in children's formative years. Juniors ought to be fully nourished not only physically but morally as well. Should they show signs of behaving falsely, they must be admonished so as to be self-critical and improve their own shortcomings. Secondly, it is high time parents predisposed their children to altruism and sympathy towards others. By encouraging juveniles to participate in charitable work or other humanitarian activities, parents are providing an opportunity for them to achieve invaluable moral lessons and thus make every effort to become meritorious citizens.  
  
In conclusion, I still hold my belief that humans are not innately criminal and proper guidance as well as boosting benevolence would be the panacea for crime upsurge.
The writer has not answered the discussion question. The writing is to be based on 2 questions:  
  
- To what extent do you think crime is determined by human nature？  
- Is it possible to stop children from growing up to be criminals?  
  
The responses provided by the writer fails to respond to either question and in fact, does not relate to the topic as outlined. The student created his own discussion topics based on an unrelated set of discussion topics. The error shall result in a failing TA score. That means, even if the essay were to recieve partial scores based on the unrelated discussion, the total will still not tally to a passing score. Failure to understand the prompt will always lead to a failing final score.
## Government should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extend do you agree or disagree

  
  
Many people believe that rather than railways, the authorities should invest their money on roads, others believe that railways are the ones to be spent money on because of their benefits to many aspects in human life.  
  
On the one hand, it is undeniable that transport has an important role to play in the economy and residents' daily life. Due to the escalation in population, the need for traveling increases significantly, which has resulted in frequent rush hour traffic jams. Traffic jams affect many aspects such as people are getting late from their work, the rotations of goods decrease in particular and the economy develops slowly as a result. Yet, investing in road infrastructure is nowhere near easing traffic flow on road during peak hours, another alternative solution is to put money on upgrading the railway system.  
  
I believe that developing railways' infrastructure will bring more pros rather than cons. Firstly, railways are usually connected with every destination in cities, which enables residents to have access to desired locations. Plus, using trains can speed up journey times, compared to buses, trains are environmentally friendly and much cheaper when traveling on a long journey. Most importantly, using trains can cope with traffic congestion during rush hours. Take Ho Chi Minh city as an example, it is well-known for a hustle and bustle places with a dense population. Therefore, roads at peak hours are getting worse even though huge funds have been poured annually with a view to upgrading road transport provision. However, non-significant ramification has been spotted. Thus, the authorities had decided to invest in railway facilities, the metro railway is anticipated to be put into use to ease the burden in road traffic.  
  
In conclusion, while the investment in roads can somehow improve the traffic's issues, yet, its benefits can not outweigh the advantages that railways bring to people.
The writer has not provided an extent response as representative of his opinion as required for the restatement + response paragraph. That paragraph is incomplete as it does not properly deliver an appropriate version of the original. The thesis statement is completely missing so there is no acceptable opinion stated at the start. That is a TA failure.  
  
Rather than a single opinion response explaining an extent opinion, the writer has used a comparative general and personal opinion format. A prompt discussion change that highlights the degree of low English understanding on the writer's part. His comprehension skills are weak and he is incapable of functioning as expected in an English academic setting. He will fail the test.
## In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books

  
  
Recently, the technological industry has fairly developed so that getting new information on the internet has gained more popularity than by reading book texts or magazines. As a result, in the near future, there will not be anyone purchasing paperbacks as they could have everything what they want to read on the internet for free. Despite some undeniable benefits, I do not concur with this point of view.  
  
On the one hand, it is evident that there are many rationales that most people opt for reading online newspapers. First of all, in the current society, each individual has owned the advanced technology devices, which are convenient and easily utilized for getting news instead of having to pay for purchasing a printed newspaper. Take an example for that, in the current pandemic situation, all of the people in Viet Nam have to stay at home and could not go out according to the government policy so that there are no shops or book stores to buy book texts. Second, such printed books are tedious for readers. Thus, getting news on the internet is more captivating within colour variety, lively images and videos and sounds, helping the users access information clearly.  
  
On the other hand, I suppose that the survival of traditional newspapers is crucial and those should not disappear in the future. First of all, such books are seen as evidence for various researches in many cases. For instance, investigating police or scientists have utilized published documents for their mission due to their authenticity. Second of all, newspapers are cheap and more suitable for the common people such as the poor. In particular, there are numerous people who do not have money for owning hightech devices, namely smartphones, computers usually spend their less cash on buying such paperbacks in small stores.  
  
To conclude, despite a downtrend in the newspapers' distribution, evidence suggests that this way of diffusing information is not set to retire yet both because people still trust them and also because not everyone has direct access to online resources.
The writer has over-extended the restatement + opinion section in an incorrect manner. The paragraph should only reference the original topic and response requirements. In this presentation, the writer included information that was not originally mentioned. The first sentence is clearly not needed in the restatement as it is a reasoning response rather than a piece of originally presented information. The response statement, though somewhat correct in content , was not properly presented in the extent format as indicated.  
  
The writer was asked to present 2 reasons.that show the extent of his disagreement and why the opinion should be opposed. Instead, I am reading one supporting reason each for an agreement and disagreement. This negates the established opinion and creates a confusing defense of the wileis point of unew. So the essay will be seen as not really having a solid single opinion. No score for the agreement paragraph. The only paragraph to be scored is the one in support of the thesis statement.  
  
The essay will confuse the reader based on discussion clarity. These 2 presentation errors are the top reasons why this essay will deliver a failing score.
## money spent on fast foods in britain

  
  
The bar chart illustrates the weekly expenditure on 3 fast food (hamburgers, fish and chips, and pizza) in Pence among the British high, average and income groups whereas the line graph illustrates their use in grammes over the years 1970, 1975, 1980, 1985 and 1990.  
  
Overall the highest amount was spent by the high income group which was for hamburgers while the least amount was spent on pizza by the low income group. The consumption of hamburgers and pizza showed a rise as opposed to the fish and chips consumption over the given period.  
  
The amount spent on the hamburgers was highest in the high income group (more than 40 Pence) which showed a decrease among the average and low income groups accounted around 33 and 18 Pence respectively. The expenditure for the fish and chips showed the highest among the average income group which was exactly 25 Pence while the high and low income groups spent almost less than 20. Almost 20 Pence spent for pizza by the high income group whereas, the average and low income groups only spent around 12 and 8 Pence respectively.  
  
In 1970, both the hamburgers and pizza consumption was less than 100 grammes and remained almost steadily for the next 5 years. Then they reached the peaks around 550 and 275 respectively in 1990. The fish and chips consumption started just over 300 in 1970 and decreased gradually in next 15 years until 200 grammes but in the final 5 years increased slightly around 250.  
  
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