dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
**The money spent by governments on space programmes would be better spent on vital public services such as schools and hospitals.  
To what extent do you agree or disagree?**  
  
## is Space Exploration a waste of resources?

  
  
As the progress of high-tech, the governments subsidize growing amounts of money on space exploration. Some people think rather than wasting money on it, the authorities should invest more in public services. As far as I am concerned, space projects are taking an equally important role as public services.  
  
Needless to say, there are plenty of apparent benefits of putting efforts on public services in our daily lives. Most of us receive compulsory education on campus and visit the doctors in the hospital whenever we suffer from the illness. Besides, we go to these facilities most likely by public transportation. The public services provide a certain standard of living quality for the member of society. And from citizen's points of view, they can observe easily that where and what their taxes are spent on.  
  
On the other hand, it is definitely worthwhile to allocate the funds on space research, although it is thoroughly burning out money. Firstly, it is essential to the developed countries that not only being cutting-edge over the world but also demonstrating the power of the military in terms of self-defense. Secondly, some people might think the space programs seem to irrelevant to our life, in fact, it guardian us secretly. For example, we can be informed about the weather forecast and be secure under the surveillance of the satellites. Finally, the discoveries in the process of space missions might be applied in other fields, and consequently improve our current technology and provide a better future life.  
  
In conclusion, as long as the governments allocate funds wisely, those two issues should be invested and perceived equally. (268words)  
  
I'm sitting an exam soon, it would be nice to have some advices.
wow very nice idea, when i first look of your essay and u say both are equal, i thought u wrong but no, the ideas that u state for the space stuff is very firm and strong, it is just undeniable :). Basically u have done a good job in your essay. However, there are some mistakes like \*guards\*(v) not \*guardian\*(n). Be secureD not be secure.  
  
Hope this help u :)
@jocelyn wang  
Hello there. I'll provide you with additional writing feedback.  
  
I'll say well-done for the general flow of the composition. Your writing is put-together and portrays everything in such a clear and meaningful manner. Keep this up! I would only suggest attempting to apply writing techniques that will help you curate sentences that are more put-together. Try to create smaller chunks of text, making your content hold more substance throughout its composition.  
  
In terms of your usage of examples, it can be improved if you can focus more on articulating with clarity with more concrete examples. Doing this will help you in the long-run when it comes to substantiating with depth.  
  
Best of luck as always.
## Government funds science subjects more than others

  
  
*Question: Government should invest on teaching science subjects rather than other subject for country develop and progress. To what extent do you agree or not agree*  
  
Answer:  
In the thriving development of society in 21st century, education remaining one of the main sectors having the need to acquire new idea for catching up with modern ways. Therefore, some has raised an idea that government funding should focus mainly on natural subjects than to the social counterpart if nation wishes to advance. Personally, I think although science subjects are crucial for country improvement, other social subjects also has its own value by which should not be underestimated.  
  
On the one hand, invest primary into science lessons are useful in accumulating extra knowledge, both general and specialty in every nature objects surrounding us. In other words, because of science and it's properties are the building-block of our world, digging it deeper also mean that we are gaining further insight about the way everything work. And with the lack of this knowledge, it would lead to countless misconceptions and consequences. For instance, "antivaxs", who believe in natural therapies rather than official vaccination, is a direct result of the missing of general comprehension and by that, being the main causes for disappeared plagues to re-emerge.  
  
Furthermore, raising the supply of money for natural courses allows government to recruit more scientists. It is clear that as the improvement for science subjects increasing gradually as the flow of money coming in, the proportion of students taking interest in natural subjects will also rise steadily. Consequently, this will boost the output of scientists and therefore, contribute significantly to nation growth  
  
On the other hand, social subjects, while not directly boost the country progressing, impact passively on the work of society. Playing a key role in the development of human, social subjects were the guideline to shape personality and characteristic of people. Also, it is noticeable that if science are the fundamental of nature, social are the basic of all human organization, from small group to worldwide. As a result, studying social subjects was undeniable, keep the society and individuals running it perform without malfunction.  
  
In conclusion, investing in science subjects alone would be a leap into more developing countries but nevertheless, social subjects also the important factor of building people and society as well
@khoahre123  
Hello there. Welcome to the forum. I'll provide you with writing feedback.  
  
Firstly, I recommend making concise your sentences. Try to evade the usage of excessive words and descriptors when you're writing. While it's necessary to creatively depict your opinions, it would be better if you can curate more specific pictures of what you ought to mention. For instance, take a look at your first paragraph. You had packed it with excessive language, making the essay appear too hasty.  
  
Try to also be more cautious of your grammatical composition. Try to ensure that you're abiding by the fundamentals of writing - doing so will allow you to have a more academic tone. Remember that consistency is key.  
  
Best of luck.
## art versus athletics

  
  
*Question: Do you agree that government should spend more money in support of arts than in support of athletics such as state-sponsored Olympic teams?*  
  
Although both arts and sports are important to society, based on government should bring as much welfare as possible to people, I would not agree that governments should spend more money to support arts than athletics.  
  
Arts could be in everywhere and in every ways, there's no certain types of art with certain prices. Therefore, it means that the great works might not come from money. Moreover, arts are subjective, it's hard to define which kind of art should be supported, but the resources are limited, it would be hard for government to decide whom or where to invest in.  
  
As for athletics, they could bring very good reputations to the country if they do well in international games such as Olympics or World Cup. Sports are much more acceptable and understandable to people than arts, which could bring large population to watch the games and get huge advertisement income. Once more and more people watch the games, they would practice the sports and make themselves healthy, which is definitely important to a country. For example, NBA is extremely popular in the US so a lot of American would play basketball, which means it turns to be a quite healthy habit among them. NBA creates huge imcome every seasons, millions of audiences watch NBA from all over the world, brands who sponsor NBA show such as NIKE and Adidas get high attention from audience so they earn more money, the whole benefit is quite significant.  
  
Therefore, I believe that it would be more beneficial for the government to invest more money to athletics than arts, as sports event could bring really good income and benefit, and make everyone to get a healthy habbit and live a healthy life.
@rilakkukkuma  
Hello there. I see that you're new here - welcome to the forum! I'll provide you with writing feedback that will hopefully help you. I hope you keep coming back to us for assistance!  
  
Firstly, I recommend making simpler sentences in order to relay your message more effectively. For example, your introductory paragraph could be improved by separating it into two to three simpler sentences that would contain more detail.  
  
Furthermore, you need to work on ensuring you have an appropriate structure for your sentences. For example, the first sentence of the second paragraph lacks appropriate pauses and punctuation. Ensure that you are consistent all throughout.  
  
Bear these in mind. Best of luck as always.
## TASKS FROM SCHOOL

  
  
In recent days, education more and more have many changed so some opinions do not agree setting of homework while there are some strong arguments against.I totally believe that it would be beneficial for student to work exercises at home  
  
There are many reasons that explain is an unnecessary burden on kid. Firstly, setting of homework are not always vital to heighten educational outcomes.This has been proved as Finland, where school pupils are not given exercise at home, regularly top international educational league tables and outperform countries where assessment is the norm. The other reason, many parents are not willing to their childrent was suffered tireness to do further study when they leave school because the school day is already long enough, they to be needed unwind to recharge battery that will bring many benefit as study time from the perspective of brain develop  
  
On the other hand, this opinion above ,I completed support the view that homework has an imperative role to play in the education of the childrent with encouraging learn and solve problem indepent that is the main advantage as student dissolve many challenge to work through tasks alone and at their own pace.With doing homework at home that student must be revisioned the knowledge that they have learnt within stay in class. A good example of this is by doing mathematics exercises at home which can support to childrent that this is teacher taught moreover they consolidate their more understanding. For me, setting of homework for childret to develop an independent study habit since this prepares them to work alone as adults  
  
To sum up, homework certaintly has its disadvantages but I believe that student will be better than about their lessons in the class.
This is unfortunately a bad essay. The first sentence for example; the reader doesn't understand what you are trying to tell him, there's way too many errors and misspellings. You have also problems with the differences of singular and plural nouns, i.e. "... give any exercises at home". It has to say exercises unless you rewrite the whole sentence. It's also children and not childrent. I don't understand plenty of your sentences, the reason being bad grammar, bad vocabulary and many more things. You have to work on your English before you write an essay again, I'm sorry!
@CamVan2411  
Hello there. I apologize for the delay. But I'm here to provide you with concrete writing feedback on your essay.  
  
Firstly, incorporate the usage of words that'll help you trim down the essay's bulkiness. What this pertains to is, for instance, mentioning *increasing* instead of *more and more*. Notice how they're synonymous words but the former appears more academic than the latter.  
  
You also need to focus more on incorporating more formality in your language. For instance, try to maintain the usage of formal words all throughout, avoiding too much influx of colloquial terms. This will help you elevate your overall writing.  
  
Trim down your sentences. Avoid run-on lines. Organize your thoughts through a bottom-up approach.  
  
Best of luck as always.
***Topic:  
## The media should include more stories which report good news.

  
To what extent do you agree or disagree?***  
  
Some people argue that the social media should spare more coverage for good news. Although I agree with the need for more frequent reports of positive news, negative news remains an indispensable part of our daily news report because of the following points.  
  
It is true that positive news brings its positive vibe to the audiences. Firstly, news about development certainly cheers the audiences up. For example, a report on a new medicine available for curing a fatal disease or a short story of a poor boy receiving help from the community brightens people's mood, in other words make their day. In addition, more goods news instead of the exaggeration of bad news brought to citizens by tabloids or nameless journalists is more beneficial to the society. Pieces of delightful news boost the trust and hope of humanity on good deeds existing around.  
  
However, the less cheerful news holds a vital position in news reports. In cases of emergencies such as a natural disaster, news conveyed immediately to local residents prevents grave danger and reduces casualties. Moreover, sometimes bad news overtakes good news. It is impossible for reporters to avoid airing, as their responsibilities are to transmit all types of news to the audiences. When shocking news hits the headlines, it is pointless to cover it up. All the same truths are to be revealed to citizens. Unnecessary terrible consequences might result from the attempt to hide bad news from social media.  
  
In conclusion, the increase in the amount of positive news leaves beneficial effects on the development of modern citizens. On the other hand, the opposite side of news is to be updated with enough coverage for the same reasons.
@nimbus2k2  
Hello there. I'll provide you with writing feedback on your essay.  
  
First and foremost, try to compose with more intention. Look at your introductory paragraph. The first sentence does not quite have an impact, considering that it fails to showcase the overall tone and message that you're bound to deliver in the latter portions of your text.  
  
Furthermore, try to make concise your sentences. Say, for instance, there are better ways to phrase the succeeding lines. You can opt to omit words that are unnecessary for building the message - this will help you have a more put-together approach to writing.  
  
I also think that your paragraphs tend to be too packed. Although, this might be a personal preference - not necessarily a required prerequisite.  
  
Best of luck as always.
## advancement of technology and interpersonal bonds

  
  
*Modern forms of communication such as email and messaging have reduced the mount of time people spend seeing their friends. This has had a negative effect on their social lives.*  
  
To what **extent** do you agree or disagree?  
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.  
  
Answer:  
There is no doubt that advancement of technology has transformed the way people communicate with each other.. Although some people think that this development has had bad impact on social life due to less amount of time people meet their friends, I do not agree with this opinion.  
  
In the past, people communicated with their friends via letter and phone. Apparently, these ways took a long time and were quite expensive. A busy lifestyle and far distances also made it hard for people to have a face-to-face conversation with others. The result was that their relationships tended to be faded away./ suffered.  
  
However, nowadays, most people can use modern means of communication such as electronic email and messaging which allow them to be in constant contact with others . Everyone can send and receive instant messages without any costs. For example, I have a friend who is studying in a university in the south of Vietnam which is about 1200 kilometers from where I am living. However, we always spend at least 4 to 5 hours a week chatting with others. This enables us to keep up with everything happening in our lives. As a result, I can maintain an enduring relationship with him. I think it is difficult to argue that electronic email and messaging have diminished/ lessened the amount of time people see each other. In contrast, people are spending more time going out with their families and friends as it has been easier for them to organize events by notifying others in advance.  
  
In conclusion, I totally disagree with the statement in the question. I believe that modern communications have improved people's social lives as they permit humans to strengthen the relationship with their friends.
@Kaze Vo  
Hello there. Welcome to the forum. I'll provide you with writing feedback. I hope you find this forum helpful for your learning journey.  
  
Firstly, try to integrate the usage of sentences and/or phrases that would help you create firmer and more concise lines. For instance, try to say indubitably instead of mentioning how you cannot doubt something. Having hold of more complex and meaningful words such as this would help you develop a more organized writing approach.  
  
Furthermore, try to be more direct with the phrasing of your lines. Evade the usage of hefty and/or bulky sentences as they add unnecessary weight to the essay. Try to focus on simpler lines. Notice how uneasy your second and third paragraphs are because of this.  
  
Best of luck as always.
## large-scale expansion of advertisement

  
  
*Question: "Advertisements are becoming more and more common in everyday life. Is it a positive or negative development?"*  
  
My essay:  
Advertisements have gained in popularity due to the growth of science and technology. It is apparent that this development has a wide range of advantages for business and consumers. However, it also conceals detrimental impacts that we need to take into consideration.  
  
On the one hand, advertising is key part of modern business which companies utilize to inform customers about their products and services on a large scale. As a result, they are notified of the various options they have and business are likely to reach higher profits. Moreover, advertisement is a creative industry that employs many people. Without this marketing sector, it leads to higher unemployment and the limitation in job opportunies.  
  
On the other hand, advertisements focus on convincing people with a multitude of the product's merits which may be exaggerated and distorted for commercial purposes. Futhermore, marketing often aims at children who are not mature enough to choose an accurate product. Hence, their parents will be put on pressure to buy things for them. If some contain inappropriate content, it will be harmful to the development of children.  
  
In conclusion, both beneficial and negative influences on consumers can be seen as a result of the large-scale expansion of advertisement which is necessary but needs to be regulated. People should take it into account and become smart consumers.  
  
Please help me improve my essay. I will immensely be grateful. Thank you so much
@thaonguyen1st  
Hello there. I'll provide you with writing feedback on this essay. I hope this somehow helps you along the way.  
  
In general, you had quite a smooth flow for your writing. You were able to elaborate effectively your thoughts and opinions. At the same time, you had quite a clearer grasp of writing. These reasons had made your work efficient in relaying meaning.  
  
I would firstly suggest trying to create more concise sentences. Opt to omit words that are unnecessary. Try to focus on lines that you truly need. For instance, in your second paragraph, the last two sentences could have been merged to curate a more substantive essay.  
  
Best of luck as always.
## local language knowledge

  
  
**Living in a country where you have to speak in a foreign language can cause serious social problems as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?**  
  
People migrate to foreign countries in order to find better works and living condition. While I agree that moving like this may cause social problems as well as practical problems, I do not think that these issues are too serious to be solved.  
  
On the one hand, it is true that migrators may have to face many problems when they live in a foreign country. Firstly, they may find communicating with local people difficult due to language barriers and simple daily activities, such as going to the grocery store, can become a huge task. Secondly, they may experience misunderstandings at work or in their neighborhood because of culture differences. For example, not bowing when greeting older people is normal in Vietnam but in Korea, it may be considered rude and disrespectful. Lastly, outlanders may struggle in making friends or having new relationships in a foreign country, which may lead to the feeling of loneliness, homesickness and stress.  
  
However, I believe that the above-mentioned problems are not serious since it is short-lived and can be prevented with some preparations before migrating. For instance, to avoid culture shock, migrators can look up for local movies, music or history on the internet to understand more about indigenous people and way of life there. They can also attend language classes and practice with native people to make sure they understand basic phrases before moving. Personally, I believe that if migrators have good preparations and are willing to learn new things, living in a country where they have to speak a foreign language would not be a serious problem to them.  
  
In conclusion, although there are social and practical problems that immigrant might have to face, I believe that these are not serious and can be solved easily.  
  
On a scale from 1-10, how would you rate my essay? Thanks for your help
Hi,  
  
Here are some of my opinions for your reference.  
  
It's an indeed well-structured article. I can see that you bring out a question on 2nd paragraph, and then answer it on 3rd.  
However, it seems a little bit off-topic. Maybe it would be better to try to relate all the problems with language rather than the culture that you mention in the article. Or you can try this way: knowing a local language is a key to understand the culture, as a result, the immigrants can fit in society faster. This point can also respond to "social problems" in the question.  
  
I googled for the sample of this question and find one that the opinion is similar to you. Hope it would help you.  
ielts-practice/having-to-speak-a-foreign-language-can-cause-serious-problems-band-9-ielts-essay-sample/  
Besides, here is the other good example that focuses more on how the writer agrees or disagrees on social problems and practical problems caused by language barriers.  
  
Best wishes,  
Jocelyn
@linhchin  
Hello there. Let me provide you with writing feedback on this essay.  
  
Firstly, I would improve on the overall tone of your essay. Notice how some portions appear to be informal because of your phrasing. For instance, in the first paragraph, you can try rephrasing the last line differently in order to attain a stronger front for your writing. What instead can you say aside from these issues being "*too serious to be solved*"?  
  
Secondly, the next paragraph has quite an off-putting approach when it comes to laying down the details. Aside from pointing everything out from one end to another, try to merge altogether your thoughts to appear less cluttered overall. If you do this, you'll have more an integrated approach to writing rather than a disorganized discernment.  
  
Best of luck as always.