dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
*Hi Dioba..  
These are my thoughts for what you wrote. Hopefully, these below can help you.  
GOOD LUCK*  
  
*(You are supposed to introduce the video which you reviewed to ease readers who wanna get the information about the link)* .  
Every time WHAT we talked with someone IS WHAT we never know ~~before~~ PREVIOUSLY~~,~~ BECAUSE THAT IS a tiny link ~~is~~ formed *(make you sure that what you write is what is in your mind)* .  
  
.., the more links get~~s~~ stronger. ~~In~~ every conversation constructS THE new links. THE Conversation is AN interesting process. The benefits of this process are establishING a connection, ~~process~~ learnING THE PROCESS OF something new, ~~gives~~ GIVING a whole new perspective ...  
  
Malavika Varadan, a radio presenter, ~~she~~ has ~~a~~ THE conversation with (...) that she HAS never seen every morning. She suggest~~s~~ ED some advice about how to make THE conversation with anyone. First, word floodgates, itS ~~is means said~~ MEANING IS THAT first word in the ...  
  
Second, she suggestED TO skip the small talk.  
Third, findING something that ~~us~~ WE and ANother person might have in common. Furthermore, THE LAST STEP IS ~~give~~ GIVING a unique impression and askING for a notion.
**some people think that we learn our most important lessons in school. others think that the knowledge we acquire outside of school is the most important. which view do you agree.**  
  
The purpose of a school as an institution is to prepare the young minds to survive and excel in the world once the schooling is over.But what about the millions of people who do not get to attend formal schooling or those who dropout of school? there have been various examples of artists, scientists, professors, technicians etc. who either dropped out of formal schooling or never went to school yet excelled in their lives and field of choice. Therefore, i believe that the knowledge we acquire outside of the school is the most important.  
  
One of the primary reasons for supporting this argument is that when we live and learn we learn by doing and the onus of the development and knowledge building is on the actor himself/herself. The experiences benefit with real life instances, life skills and abundance of trial and error learning. As opposed to the template teaching that takes place at schools, wherein the learner's instincts and individuality is over shadowed by pre-determined goals and lessons set for them which do not correspond to each student's needs.  
  
Also, the knowledge that one is exposed to in schools is very compartmentalized and segregated, therefore, rendering it of little use in practical daily life situations. In contrast to it, the knowledge gained by engaging in pursuing a life course of one's choice enhances the individual beyond the extent of textbooks. Individuals who are self taught are more resilient in life and persevere to excel in their respective domains. The reality of the life of each student and the extent to which the school can offer continuity is very restricted and as a result the knowledge acquired at school may not hold any grounding for an informed adult life  
  
.  
Therefore, it would be appropriate to say that learning and acquiring knowledge outside of school is more important in life. Success stories of Albert Einstein, Thomas Edison, Benjamin Franklin, Sir Richard Branson, Walt Disney etc. are a few world renowned personalities who dropped out of formal schooling and rather developed the skills that they required to excel in their field and survive in their life on their own.
**Why I won't Get the Genetics Test for Breast Cancer (Summary)**  
  
Scientist found that BRCA 1 and 2 are powerful cancer genes markers, most. If those genes mutated, It could increase the possibility breast or ovarian cancer. Both of them had a irritate treatment even though it was very precise. We could amputate our breast or ovaries if we desired to cut off the risk. Of course, it was he worst choice. Because of it came from genes in DNA, It was possible that those genes were decreased for generations. A senior researcher from National Cancer Institute in Maryland, charged the writer's family tree to an online BRCA risk-assesstment tool. The results showed that she had a small risk to affected by breast cancer although her great aunt and her dad's cousin died of breast cancer. Most of women who had a positive result decided to remove their breast or ovaries.
Hi Saritrisna,after reading your summary, i have some suggestions, perhaps useful for you.  
  
1.Wrong spelling words  
-Of course, it was ~~he~~ worst choice.----> the worst  
  
... family tree to an online BRCA risk-~~assesstment~~~~tool~~ . ---> assesment tools  
  
2.Both of them ~~had a irritate~~ treatments even though it was very precise.----> had an irritated  
3. It could be increase the possibility ...
Areas of beauty are always the best choice for outdoor activity especially for campers. We need a guide and plan for exploring strange areas. Here one of the top 9 Towns with Best outdoor activities. Moah, Utah. It has easy acces since it is in central acces point with beautiful parks in the United States. We will be ssurrounded by Rocks of arches National Park with a hundred mile green canyon. The visitors can climb in Alpine Forest.  
  
There are several numbers of bike activities such as trail rides, technical rides etc tha can be the most favorite place for bikers. This a favourite route for advanced experience of cycling in Porcupine Rim.we can down-hill 200-foot cliif overlooking and turn in through the Juniper Woodland and pine Forest with artificial technic to drop along the way.  
  
Outdoor events can be handle by local entrepreuners such as Bike shops and outdoor stores. Local community shoud tackle the position to increas selling goods in this whole area.
Hi, mdamanhuri77  
Your essay is good, and I would give some corrections  
  
1. It has easy ~~acces~~ (access ) since it is in central ~~acces~~ (access ) point with beautiful ...  
2. We will be ~~ssurrounded~~ (surrounded ) by Rocks of arches ...  
3. ..., technical rides etc ~~tha~~ (that ) can be the most ...  
4. we can down-hill 200-foot ~~cliif~~ (cliff ) overlooking and turn in ...  
5. Outdoor events can be handle by local ~~entrepreuners~~ (entrepreneur ) such as Bike ...  
6. Local community ~~shoud~~ (should ) tackle the position to ~~increas~~ (increase ) selling goods ...  
  
Thank you
Hello Mdaman, Here some inputs for you.  
  
Here one of the top 9 Towns with Best outdoor activities. Moah, Utah.*better if you merge those sentence be like **Moah, which located in Utah is one of the top 9 towns with best outdoor activities***.  
  
..rides, technical rides etc.~~t~~T ha**T** can be the most ...  
  
This **IS** a ~~favourite~~*favorite* route for advanced experience  
  
~~w~~**W**e can **ENJOY**down-hill 200-foot ~~cliif~~CLIFF overlooking and turn  
  
Outdoor events can be handle**D** by local..  
  
**Good luck!**
I've comments for yours.  
  
There are several parts requiring re-correction. some are incomplete sentences because every sentence must have subject+verb. in this case it happens in yours such as "Here one of the top 9 Towns with Best outdoor activities". or "This a favourite route for advanced experience of cycling in Porcupine Rim" (nothing verb).  
  
in addition, the array of sentences are also incomplete tenses like "Outdoor events can be handle"--i see you mean that it is passive, so we can correct to be "Outdoor events can be handled". The last, the word "whole" should be followed by plural noun, so it will be better we change to be "goods in this whole areas."  
  
thanks..
Sean Stephenson is a disabled person but he proved that physically weakness is not an excuse for not influenced many peoples. First, he taught them to never believe every prediction that doesn't empower them, Sean himself predicted by many doctors that he would be dead within 24 hours, and now he sit and inspired many peoples.  
  
Second, never pitying yourself, he said pity is the most dangerous drugs in the world that would totally frozen your potential. Being disable does not mean you are literally disable, but the real disability is refusal to adapt. Adaptable in every conditions give many chances for you to learn with new environment and meet other people. The last, you must bullying yourself with many negative predictions, opinions that other people tell you. The best thing to do is love yourself in every conditions and love everyone because everybody need to be loved
Hello Yonathan  
These are my vantage points to finalize your summary. Review my notes and deal with them  
GOOD LUCK  
:D  
  
... believe every prediction that ~~doesn't~~ DOES NOT (NEVER EVER EVER HARNESS CONSTRUCTION IN THE FORMAL WRITING) empower them~~,~~ . THAT REASON APPEARS BECAUSE Sean himself EVER predicted by many ...  
  
... he said THE pity is the most dangerous drugs in the world ~~that~~ , WHICH would totally ~~frozen~~ FREEZE your potential. Being disable does not mean THAT you are literally disableD PERSON, but the real disability is THE refusal to adapt. Adaptable in every condition~~s~~ giveS US many chances ~~for you~~ to learn with new environment ...  
  
The last, you must bully~~ing~~ yourself with ~~many~~ A LARGE NUMBER OF (You should make it various, MANY/ A GREAT NUMBER/ A LARGE NUMBER/ PLENTY OF) negative predictions~~,~~ ABOUT opinions that ...  
  
The best thing ~~to~~ doNE ~~is~~ love yourself in every condition~~s~~ and ~~love~~ everyone because everybody needS to be loved
This summary is extracted from an article published by Cynthia Graber in wired.com. Past few years ago, scientists have discovered primary cancer markers, they are called BRCA1 and BRCA2. These markers able to give alert to people who have risks encounter mutation genetic and ends on breast or ovary cancer. The only one treatment that has been conducted to execute the cancer threat is eliminate the organs which have the risks such as breast and ovary. This surgery can caused early starts of menopause and results to symptoms of osteoporosis, dementia, and heart disease.  
  
In addition, risk of cancer has associated with family cancer profile but it is not a strong reason to judge women have high risk to get breast or ovary cancer according to BCRA-diagnosed. BRCA-positive women who decide to cut off their organs will get more suffering than the one who keep their ovary and breast and choose to not taking any genetic cancer.
This summary is extracted from an article that published by Cynthia ...  
These markers are able to give alert to the people who (...) genetic and ~~ends~~end on breast or ovary cancer.  
... execute the cancer threat ~~is~~that eliminate the organs ...  
This surgery can ~~caused~~be caused /cause early ~~starts~~starting of menopause and as a result~~s~~ to symptoms of osteoporosis, ...  
... strong reason to judge women who have high risk to get ...  
  
hi fauzan,,that is my advices  
you have to point out the double verb,you can change it with "that" "who" etc
~~Past~~SINCE few years ago, (...) cancer markers~~, they are~~ called BRCA1 and BRCA2.  
These markers ARE able to ~~give~~ alert ~~to~~ people who ~~have risks encounter mutation genetic and ends~~ARE IN RISK OF GENETIC MUTATION AND LAST STAGE OF breast or ovary cancer.  
  
... to execute the cancer threat is BY eliminating the organs which ...  
This surgery can ~~caused~~TRIGGER early starts of menopause and resultED to symptoms of osteoporosis...  
  
... but it is not a strong reason ~~to judge women have high risk to get breast or ovary cancer~~ according to BCRA-diagnosed.  
... organs will get more suffer~~ing~~ than the one who keepS ~~their~~ HER ovary and breast ...  
  
**Overall, you still need to concern on your sentence completion. pay attention in some basic grammatical rules and enhance your lexical resource since it is evident that you tend to use similar words several times (repetitive)**
Firefighter is consider to be one of dangerous jobs in the world, but Mark Bezos, an assistant captain volunteer in fire company presented his TED talk in a funny way. It was in the middle of the night and under pouring rain when he got into initial fire assignment. A volunteer who arrived five seconds before him was asked to save home-owner's dog. So when his turn came, captain of the volunteer said that Bezos need to got inside the house, pass the fire and got the home-owner a pair of shoes to wear. When he got out from the house, it turned out that his friend who save the dog got more attention that him! At that time, he feel that he is not a hero.  
  
However, through his volunteer role as a firefighter, he learnt about the act of generosity and kindness as well to learnt about grace and courage a long the way. He advised if people want to help their surrounding, they need to start now. It does not to be somethings big. For example, serve food at a soup kitchen, clean up neighborhoods park or be a mentor. At last, Bezos gave an inspiring words to close his speech with " not every day is going to offer a chance to save somebody's life but every day offer an opportunity to affect one".
Firefighter is CONSIDERED to be one of dangerous ~~jobs~~ PROFESSIONS [*concern about the differentiation between job, work, profession, and occupation just like why salary, wage, and income different each others]* in the world, but Mark Bezos, ~~an assistant captain volunteer in fire company~~a voluntary captain assistant in a fire company , presented his TED talk in a funny way.  
  
*It was in the middle of the night and under pouring rain* [too similar with the speaker words. need to more paraphrased] when he got into HIS initial fire ~~assignment~~DUTY.  
  
ANOTHER volunteer who arrived five seconds .....  
~~So~~THEN/MEANWHILE, when his turn came, ~~captain of the volunteer~~the Captain said that ~~Bezos~~HE needED to ~~got~~GET inside the house, pass the fire and ~~got~~GET the home-owner a pair of shoes to wear.  
  
attention that him! At [pay attention in the using of punctuation] that time, he feelT that he ......  
  
However, through his ~~volunteer~~VOLUNTARY role as a firefighter, he HAS learnt about (...) as well to ~~learnt~~LEARN about grace and courage a long the way.  
  
*He advised if people want to help (...) It does not to be somethings big.*you may merge these two sentences into one  
  
For example, serve food at a soup kitchen, clean up neighborhoods park or be a mentor[too similar with the speaker words ].  
**concern on word form chosen regarding to tenses, accuracy and function of your sentences**
Five lionesses found in Botswana have grown a mane and are showing male-like behaviours. One is even roaring and mounting other females. This anomaly has started studying by Geoffrey D. Gilfillan at the University of Sussex in Falmer UK, and he stated that lioness is mostly female in behaviour and she also has some male behaviours, such as increased scent-marking and roaring.  
  
Luke Hunter, president and chief at global wild cat conservation explained that a maned lioness is caused by increased level of testosterone and high levels of testosterone due to a problem in her ovaries. While some manned lioness is observed mating, none of them became pregnant. The test revealed high levels of androgens such as testosterone in females. Hunter says that must be a genetic component in this population underlying the phenomenon.
**TED : Secret to Great Public Speaking**  
  
In the video, the speaker, Chris Anderson, explained about four keys to be an extraordinary public speaker. First of all, the idea becomes an important secret factor influencing people to make a good speaker. Idea is an array of information which connect collectively amongst many views . Therefore, it is going to become individual's point of view. Every person has his or her own idea to consider a phenomenon. For Instance, people looking a young women must have different prespective when they have to spell it out. In public speaking, a speaker must have the spesific idea which is talked in front of the audience. It is able to be strengthened with explanation and example as it will be easier to be understood by audience. Secondly, the speaker has to have interesting idea to attract the attention of audience. In this case, Using the new or unique idea can appeal their interest effectively. In addition, starting public speaking with languange which is easy to be got by audience is an essential factor to pull up audience's attention. Finally, the speaker obligatorily ensure that the idea is exceptionally important to be shared since it is able to inspire and give many upsides in human's life.
Hi Aris,  
I hope you are doing good, I just want to give some advices for you.  
please, you have to be careful with your spelling (I have found some errors) and remember singular and plural.  
connect 's'  
prespective perspective  
languange language  
spesific specific  
a young women young women (singular/plural)  
consider a phenomenon consider about ... (preposition)  
Therefore, you can change to ' it has led to' (cause/effect)  
  
Good luck for your next summary assignments  
Cheers
Hi Aris Indra,  
I am pleased to read your summary because you have got the point of creating the summary. You have had the better progress. In this time, let me finalize yours. Check it out.  
  
..., Chris Anderson~~,~~ explained about four keys to be ...  
First of all, ~~the~~ AN idea OF THE SPEAKERS becomes an important secret factor ~~influencing~~ TO INFLUENCE people ~~to make~~ SO THAT TEHY CAN PERFORM AS a good speaker. THE Idea is an array of information which connectS collectively amongst many views . Therefore, it is going to become ~~individual's~~ point of INDIVIDUAL'S view. Every person has ~~his or her~~ THE ~~own~~ idea to consider a phenomenon. For Instance, people looking ~~a~~ young women must have different ~~prespective~~ PERSPECTIVE when they have to spell it out. In public speaking, ~~a~~ THE speaker must have the ~~spesific~~ SPECIFIC idea ~~which is~~(Here should be omitted) talked in front of the audience.  
  
... easier to be understood by THE ~~audience~~ AUDIENCE. Secondly, the speaker has to have THE interesting idea to attract the attention of THE audience. ... public speaking with ~~languange~~ LANGUAGE which is easy to be got by THE audience is an essential factor to pull up THE audience's attention.  
  
... obligatorily ensureS that the idea is exceptionally important ...  
  
I hope you pay attention to spelling.  
I really believe you can become better in this case. Practice more and more  
Keep spirit.
Hi Aris, please find additional suggestions below;  
  
- explained ~~about~~ four keys to be  
- important ~~secret~~ factor in influencing people  
- to ~~make~~become a good speaker.  
- Idea is an array of information ~~which~~that connects collectively amongst many views .  
- Therefore, it is going to become an individual's point of view.  
- people looking at a young  
- woma n must have different  
  
Spelling:  
prespective - perspective  
spesific - specific i  
languange - language  
  
- Finally, the speaker ~~obligatorily~~ ensures that the idea  
- ~~since it is able to~~as it inspires and  
- ~~give~~provide many ~~upsides~~ups and downs in human's life.  
  
There you have it Aris, I hope the above insights helped and for future writing reference, be careful with your spelling, make sure that your spell checker is on all the time.
Nowadays, In the medical field, they used to using brains for medical research. They need a fresh brain that has to arrive in 24 hours after died at least. Jorge Tejada and his team had found effectively frozen brain. The process takes about 17 hours since the moment of death until arriving at McLean Hospital and have to be removed intact and transported rapidly.  
  
First, a brain is weighed, after that then sliced in half rinsed in sterile saline. There are two different way treatments. A half brain sliced from front to back and the cerebellum (key structure) removed. The slices placed into two plates and directly frozen using a cocktail of dry ice and liquid nitrogen. This way aims to minimize tissue damage. The frozen slices are then saved into deep freeze until needed. The other hemisphere is treated for examining and dissect needs. The hemisphere is soaked in formalin for few weeks.
... they used to ~~using~~use brains for medical research. They need a fresh ~~brain~~mind that has to arrive in ...  
... until arriving at McLean Hospital and ~~have~~has to be removed intact ...  
  
First, a brain is weighed, ~~after that~~ then sliced in half ...  
... frozen using a cocktail of ~~dry~~drying ice and liquid nitrogen.  
The frozen slices ~~are~~ then saved into deep ...  
The other hemispheres is treated for examining and dissecting needs.  
  
that's all about my advices,,,thanks
hi Fauziyahtami..  
Let me give you some advice...  
  
..., they used to ~~using~~use brains for medical research. They need a fresh brain that ~~has to~~ arrives in 24 hours ...  
  
First, a brain is weighed, ~~after that~~ then sliced in half ...  
  
The frozen slices ~~are then~~ saved into deep ...  
  
good job.  
I hope it could be helpul..
**The danger of silence by Clint Smith**  
  
Clint Smith, a poet and teacher spoke up about the danger of silence on the TED channel. He begun speech with quoted of Marten Luther King Jr story who reflected African movement in America. Smith talked that silence is residue fear entire in his life and African people as well, for example, discrimination, violence and war. At the beginning he live in suffered, no soda, no food, no home, as the result he give up. However he realized that every man want to be as human, have right to live which every people are needed life good, freedom and equal. A short, he stand front of the audience is speaking up against discrimination and injustice.  
  
Source: TED
Hi Pha, the followings are my thoughts regarding your writing.  
  
... spoke up about (you may also use 'regarding) the danger of silence ...  
  
He begun (his) speech (by presenting a meaningful quote by Marten Luther King Jr) who reflected African movement in America.  
  
Smith talked (said/stated/explained/described) that silence is.....  
  
At the beginning (of his life) he....  
  
Thank you.
Clint Smith, a poet and teacher *[need comma. additional information related to someone or something written in between commas is what we called 'appositive']* spoke up about the danger of silence on the TED channel.  
  
He begun HIS speech with ~~quoted~~A QUOTE of Marten Luther King Jr ~~story who~~WHICH reflected African movement in America.  
  
Smith talked that silence is residue fear entire in his life and African people as well, for example, discrimination, violence and war.*confusing sentence. you may want to write:*  
  
SMITH TALKED THAT SILENCE LEFT FEARS ON HIS ENTIRE LIFE JUST LIKE OTHER AFRICAN PEOPLE COMMONLY FELT. IT IS DUE TO DISCRIMINATION, VIOLENCE, AND WAR.  
  
At the beginning [need comma] he liveD in suffered, (...), as the result [need comma] he ~~give~~gave up.  
  
However **[comma]** he realized that every man want to ~~be~~live as normal human, have right ~~to live which every people are needed life good~~of decent life , freedom and equalITY.At short, hestandS in front of the audience ~~is speaking~~to speak up against discrimination and injustice.  
  
**severe issues on punctuation. need to concern more on word form chosen and sentence completion. try to compose sentences that will easily understand for its informative value. besides, try to write longer summary so you will write more while others will give more feedback. good luck**