dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
Okay... if information is not stated in the original prompt, do not use it in your prompt paraphrase. Financially supporting artists is not a problem of society. There is nothing in the original prompt to indicate that. Do not exaggerate. Just stick to the given parameters for the topic. In this case, it is a mere discussion of an idea, an idea does not equate into a problem. Your reference point for the discussion is off base.  
  
Next, the paraphrase itself is problematic. You are not covering the discussion instructions in your representation. While you did state the two public points of view, and even used the proper person reference in the discussion paragraphs, you failed to indicate that this is a compare and contrast essay inclusive if a personal opinion. Something like this:  
  
*Imaginative people who dabble in the arts are believed by some to be worthy of financial support by the government. However, an opposing belief indicates that these artistic crowd should be funded in a manner other than government subsidies. It is important that I present the reasons behind the public discussion so that I can give my personal opinion on the topic.*  
  
You have to remember that the personal opinion needs to add to the coherence and cohesiveness of the given discussion by supporting one of the two given points of view. That is done by developing a stand alone paragraph for your personal opinion. It is never presented as a single sentence in the conclusion. That is because the personal opinion needs to have a clearly stated point of view, properly defended and supported with examples within a paragraph.  
  
The concluding paraphrase is located in the final paragraph. It must be composed of a restatement of the topic, the reasons provided, and a reiteration of your point of view. It is 3-5 sentences long and should properly remind the reader of the previous discussion points. That is why this is a 5 paragraph essay, not a 4 paragraph essay. Properly develop your paragraphs with clear explanations so that you can score better overall.  
  
By the way, you have a big vocabulary issue. Tend means to means to exhibit an inclination or tendency. You meant to use the word trend, which means a prevailing tendency or inclination. You meant to use the latter term. Do not use words if you are not sure of the meaning. You are scored, within the LR and GRA section, on the accuracy of your word usage. One mistake, such as this one, affects 2 scoring considerations on a downward trend. That will not be good for your overall final score.  
  
Try to use other punctuation marks in your presentation so help increase your standalone GRA score. Don't just use commas and periods. Try to use semi-colons and colons, apostrophe's and the like as well. The GRA score considers your ability to properly use a series of punctuation marks as well. Limiting yourself to the basics also limits your scoring potential.
## The art gallery in 2015 and now

  
  
The maps below show the changes in the art gallery ground floor in 2015 and present day  
  
The maps illustrate numerous variations taking place in the art gallery ground floor from 2015 to present day.  
It is noticeable from the picture that art gallery has changed considerably and a number of new features can be seen in the second diagram. Significantly, there was a drastic change of the western half of the floor.  
  
Looking at the illustrations in more details, we can see that situated to the southwest and next to entrance, ramp for wheel chair was constructed in order to enable every person to contemplate galleries. Get through the door, in the middle of Enter Hall, there was receptionist which was relocated from top - left corner. In the East, three exhibition room 1, 2, 3 witness no change.  
  
On the contrary, lying in the west, exhibition room 4 was divided into two part: temporary exhibition and children's area. Gallery office which was to the north of the exhibition room 4 was demolished and replaced by vending machine. Similarly, gallery shop which in the north-western area was erected at the position where the café used to be. However shop is smaller than the café with the purpose of making way for stairs. There was the emergence of lift which was on the right-hand side of the stairs, which gave people easy and convenient access to the floor.  
  
(220 words)  
  
*
When you write the Task 1 essay, always consider the audience that you are writing for. Since you are writing this report for a professional, you have to avoid using inflammatory and misleading words in your essay. Using the words like demolished and drastic, when the more appropriate words to use are replaced and significant, respectively, means that you are not familiar with academic writing and logical information presentation. This will affect your LR and GRA score as you are expected to use academic and professionally descriptive tones at all times.  
  
You should not be making assumptions in the essay. Providing reasons for the wheelchair ramp and the lift show that you are making personal observations in the report. These personal observations have no place in the formal data presentation because you are not being asked to offer an opinion or explanation for the images. You are to only report on it. Sure you can be creative, just avoid delivering an opinion while you are at it.  
  
Don't forget to use a comma after an introductory element like "however", which you used as the starting word of a sentence.  
  
Save for the misuse of vocabulary, your essay is pretty much on point. You deliver the required information and compare sections when possible. That shows that you took time to analyze the images presented. However, the errors you made in terms of the final copy of your essay tells me that you did not utilize any left over time you had to perfect the presentation. Always double check the scoring requirements. Make sure you have done your best to score as well as you in every section.
## Hard work or a born talent?

  
  
**It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.**  
  
It is true that several individuals get excellent capacity in fields such as sport, art since they were born. However, it can be argued that every kid is feasible to be good at any occupation by training. In my opinion, I believe that teaching is an important key to gain success in any domain  
  
The opinion that some people are born to be talented is attractive for historical truth of many great individuals. For example, Ronaldo, the most excellent football player, has been well-known for his aptitude for this game since he was a kid. People who have an innate ability like Ronaldo may be called "genius" in their field. According to scientists, this is a natural phenomenon that each area of human brain is responsible for an identified function. If a person has an inborn well-developed cerebral region, they may have a special capability for something, for instance, singing  
  
From a optimistic view, it is totally true that any child can be taught to become expert in any field . From a personal point, the priciple factors for success are diligence and having good methods under educating. To illustrate, a boy dreamed of being a famous singer with a wonderful voice, he entered Music Academy where he learnt how to breathe, move tongue to have a good singing. After a long time practising, his voice is better and he turns out to be a renowned singer now. It cannot be denied that to get that excellent achievement, his hard-working practice and his trainers play an aabsolutely significant role.  
  
In conclusion, there are convincing arguments both for and against factors influencing on one's success and I believe that every child has opportunities to be specialise in any domain by training  
  
*This is the first task 2 essay I have wrote. I hope to receive your valuable comments*
You did an almost good job with this essay. You see, this is a 5 paragraph essay that has the following format:  
  
Par 1: Paraphrase  
Par.2: Third person public point of view 1  
Par.3: Third person public point of view 2  
Par. 4: First person point of view that supports one of the 2 public POV  
Par. 5: Concluding paraphrase  
  
You did not properly represent the instructions for the discussion in your paraphrase. You have to indicate that this will be a comparison essay that will offer information to help you create a personal point of view. You cannot have a personal point of view immediately because the essay requires a comparison discussion first. That is why you are given 3 reasoning paragraphs to work with in the middle of the essay. Consider both public opinions then support one based on your personal take of the discussion. Use paragraph 3 to discuss the pov that you will be supporting in your personal opinion / reasoning paragraph. The essay incompletely represents the required discussion format because of the neglected public point of view discussion. You will have points deductions because of the uneven discussion development under the TA section.  
  
When presenting your examples using publicly known figures, you need to present the full name of the person for the benefit of the reader and also, to follow the rules regarding the writing of proper nouns. In this case, Ronaldo is a single name, known to soccer players and fans. However, his full name is Christian Ronaldo, for the sake of the reader who may not be familiar with the athlete, you have to use the full name. It is the academic way of writing. Always include the title of the person's occupation (Doctor, professor, chef, etc.) then the full name. It creates an academic presentation, increases your GRA score, and allows you to highlight that your vocabulary is extensive enough to know how to use titles with the names.  
  
If you wish to score better, use your personal experience in the discussion. If you have a talent or skill that you developed over time, then you will get more points considerations for using yourself as the example in the paragraph. It creates an academic, yet personal discussion that the examiner will appreciate.
## memorising in education

  
  
TOPIC: Memorising facts is the most important way to succeed in education.  
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?  
  
Many people believe that learning by heart is an intriguing method to be good at studying. To some extent, I agree with that opinion, yet I disagree that it is the key of education success.  
  
Most of the school programs comprise of known subjects, which are the proven facts or written knowledge, such as history, geography, literature, etc. The students who possess perfect remeberance would definitely have a certain advantage to get remarkable records in such subjects. When I was at school, top three of my classmates either were good at remember everything or studied like a hardy bee all the time.  
  
However, memorising facts also bring some backwards. Those who rely on memorising would only know what have known and hardly can apply such knowledge into a different sector. People could never invent planes just by remembering the wings of birds! Moreover, if the knowledge are remembered as separate facts rather than finding connection among tons of events, someday the memory will be full and things can be forgotten.  
  
On the other hand, the ultimate goal of education is to nurture brains, using brains to discover and apply theories into practice and to bring benefits into life. The lessons taught are just the foundation for learners to freely imagine, create new ideas and make evolution. Indeed, human beings have invented tons of marvelous products based on imagination and creativity and no limitations are set for creation.  
  
In conclusion, it is impossible to deny the benefit of memorising to education, especially in elementary school and secondary school. However, the crucial keys for students in advanced education programs to reach the final objective of education success, is to learn how to apply the fundamental knowledge and encouraging free imagination and creation.  
  
Appreciate all your comments. Thank you.
You failed the test the minute that you wrote your opening paraphrase. You cannot score higher than a 3 in the TA section because you do not express a solid opinion based on the provided topic. There are two reasons that you failed this essay. The first, is that you failed to choose a single opinion to defend in this essay. The second, is that you did not offer a measured response as an answer to the question. All essays, unless specifically asking for a comparison discussion or representing an A/D discussion, should be presented from the first person single opinion point of view. You will not be able to create a coherent and cohesive discussion if you are trying to defend two points of view in a single essay. Being a measured response essay, you only get 4 paragraphs to work with. The middle 2 paragraphs are where you are required to defend your stance in the following manner:  
  
Par. 2: Provide your reason based on personal knowledge or experience  
Par. 3: Use an extensively explained example to support your reason  
  
Failing to do so will create a confusing read for your discussion. You actually failed to create a convincing essay because you did not want to create a solid opinion. Hence the problematic TA score which will always lead to an overall failing score. Once the errors in the C&C, GRA, and LR sections are added to the low TA score, you will not get close to a passing score.  
  
You have spelling errors in the essay which you failed to double check because you focused only on the length instead of the overall quality of your work. Just because you can type fast doesn't mean you can type correctly. Spellcheck whenever you can during practice essays and make sure to spellcheck manually on exam day. Don't risk a low LR score. Each mistake you make means a lower score in that bracket which, when combined with other errors, will make you fail the test.
## Ielts writing task 2 toursim

  
  
Some people say that tourism há many negative effects on the countries that people travel to.  
How true is thí statement? What can tourists do to reduce the harmful effects of tourism on local cultures and environments?  
  
Tourism explosion comes the accumulated threat of endangering the distinctive places that makes a destination unique and worthy of visiting. In my opinion, inadequately managed tourism can damage a location, and heightening public awareness of the tourism risk is imperative.  
  
The repercussion of mass tourism can be extremely harmful to the local community as well as to the environment. Much of the infrastructure that encourages mass tourism, such as large tourist hotels and tour companies are probably owned and operated by businesses located outside the tourist neighbourhood. Hence, chain restaurants and stores may not always serve local cuisine or sell souvenirs; package tour companies do not always employ regional experts and guides. Thus, money made from this kind of tourism does not stay in the local society. Residents do not obtain anything, and the country habitat suffers from disastrous tourism development projects.  
  
Moreover, poorly managed tourism can destroy a destination, such as the coast, are incredibly vulnerable. Lacking awareness of the local nature and culture also contributes to the vulnerability of the area. In my experience, Halong Bay is one of the most attractive places, as a result of the mass tourism, the marine ecosystem was threatened, a wide range of wild animals are endangered, and the environment is highly polluted for an extended period.  
  
Increasing knowledge of tourists is requisite in order to impede the devastating outcome of the tourism in the natural habitat and local culture. When visitors understand how to spend their money in a manner, it will help maintain the distinctiveness of a place. Furthermore, there are numerous friendly-environmental types of tourism, such as geotourism, sustainable tourism and ecotourism that tourists should pay more attention.  
  
In conclusion, to comprehend what the vulnerabilities of a region before we visit and to help protect that destination as best we can while we are there, is especially necessary. Since the increased development in mass tourism, the danger of the environment and culture is the incontrovertible cost that we endeavour to address it now and in the future.
This is a 4 paragraph, not 5 paragraph essay. You went overboard with the discussion points. There were only 2 vital discussion points for this essay:  
  
Par. 2: The reasoning that you presented using an example.  
Par. 3: An additional supporting explanation to help with the coherence and cohesiveness of your essay.  
  
Do not focus on the length of the essay. If you are preparing for the computer based test, then you should be using that time to write a quick essay, with the rest of the time being used to edit and refine the content of your presentation.  
  
Let's go back to the beginning. Your essay did not start in an understandable manner. There is a severe incoherence in the following statement:  
  
*Tourism explosion comes the accumulated threat of endangering the distinctive places that makes a destination unique and worthy of visiting.*  
  
This could have been better stated. A clearer way of representing the prompt would have been:  
  
*International travel is seen as an activity that has adverse effects on the host country. I believe in the truth of this statement because of two considerations. The first is that... That is why it is important that tourists... Allow me to explain further.*  
  
The current third paragraph of this essay is really out of place in the discussion. You only needed to represent 2 negative effects in a connected manner, within a single paragraph. Then introduce the solution in the next paragraph. You have to prove that you can fluidly think in English and also represent the smooth thought process in written form. You are not doing that in this essay. Remember, focus on clarity, not on length. You can write 290 words maximum, focus on the clarity of your explanation, and score a 9 with that essay.  
  
Focus on clarity, proper vocabulary use, and proper grammar presentations, including punctuation marks. You have the potential to do well on the test day. You just have to make sure that you properly develop your writing skills.
## youngsters joining international exchange programs

  
  
task2: some educationalists think that international exchange visitors will benefit teenagers at the school. To what extend do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.  
  
Essay:  
With current globalization trend, some protect their stance that it is necessary for youngsters to join international exchange programs due to its benefits outstrip its drawbacks and i totally agree with this standpoint.  
  
To begin with, it is not deniable the essential role of international education intergration is increasingly impacting to young generation. First and foremost, in terms of personal characters, multinational exchange programs enforce overseas students to step out their comfort zone to adapt in a foreign territory totally unknown aforetime. By this way, students will confront with plentiful difficulties that require their willpower and determination a lot, therefore they are likely to become more self-assured, self-effacing and bolder in coping with their own issues.  
  
More importantly, in the context of today's fiercely competitive marketing economy, a broaden knowledge background is crucial, which helps to open the door to better employment oppotunities. It can be said that abroad students are global citizens who are equipped fully essential luggages before taking part in new working environment. In addition, culture intergration is also a benefit not less important. Mingling into cultural diversity, paticipants will have a selective absorption from world's cutural quintessence from different nations and contribute advertise their national images to international friends, therefore shortening the gap between countries.  
  
To recapitulate, there are a variety of benefits relating overseas studying such as knowledge, personality, social intergration, all needed to be taken into closer consideration that its disadvantages.
You have mixed up the essay discussion instructions. You are combining an extent essay with an A/D essay discussion instruction. Therefore, your approach for to the discussion will be incorrect. That is based on the original topic which is:  
  
*Some educationalists think that a programme of international exchange visits will offer various benefits for teenage school students. Do you think the advantages of it outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.*  
  
As you can see, there is no extent reference to be found in the original prompt. Always make sure that you are responding to the essay in the correct manner, based on the original discussion points.  
  
Your opening paraphrase is incoherent. It does not represent any portion of the original prompt. Nor does it represent a proper response to the original question. Due to this incoherence, your TA score will most likely fall under 1, your response is totally unrelated to the original task provided. Here is an example of a more appropriate paraphrase:  
  
*The globalist form of education has some teaching professionals wondering if the trading of students between countries for learning purposes will be truly beneficial to the adolescent participants. I believe that the purpose for this type of educational exchange experience offers tremendous benefits to the students that cannot be negated by any perceived disadvantages. I am offering several reasons for my point of view.*  
  
Avoid using word fillers such as "To begin with" and "First and foremost". While these words do add to your word count, it does not do so in a positive way. Every word that you use in the essay must help to build an understanding of your paragraph, allow you to properly use grammar and punctuation marks, and add to the coherence or cohesiveness of the essay. Word fillers do not do any of these things which is why it should be avoided at all costs. It will not even increase your LR score since the words do not really have any meaning other than helping to extent the presentation of a sentence or paragraph.  
  
The LR score for this essay will be low because you are showing that you do not understand how to use English words in the proper context/ based on its definition. An overseas student is not "enforce" to step out of his comfort zone. He is "encouraged" to step out of the comfort zone. Word meaning difference?  
  
Enforce - to compel obedience to  
  
Encouraged - To inspire with hope, courage, or confidence.  
  
Which of the two words do you think better fits the sentiment of your sentence? Right.  
  
Your essay will lose heavy LR and GRA scores due to the lack of clarity and mistaken use of words all throughout the presentation. That means, the 2 factors that will determine your C&C score will not help to increase your score in that section either. So, these errors, plus the wrong paraphrase approach and response will not result in a positive outcome for you. This is not a passing score essay at all.