dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
**Summary: Wheelchair-Accessibility Issues**  
  
100 out of 650 million of people having physical disability in the world need wheelchairs. The existence of a wheelchair makes people with disability embrace independent lifestyle. On the other hand, the adversity of this moving tool: strenuous, large, and hard to maneuver on slippery surfaces and steep slopes. One of the most difficult places for wheelchair users is house. There are many parts of house which require certain condition such in bathroom with grab bars, higher toilet seats, and built-in shower seats. Many nations have rules demanding public buildings to be wheelchair friendly. The exterior needs: wide sidewalks and automatic doors, whilst the interior necessitates wide corridor and the restroom must be accessible. In advancement of technology era, the disabled could drive a car with a portable ramp. Many cities have already had subway and bus system to serve wheelchair user to the utmost. In most developing countries, an enormous attention does not come from wheelchair accessibility as access to wheelchair.
*Hi Wasisha..  
These are my a few corrections for your summary.*  
  
... of people having A physical disability in ...  
... with disability embrace AN independent lifestyle.  
... for wheelchair users is A house. There are many parts of THE house ~~which require~~ , REQUIRING (you should conduct reducing here) certain condition such in A bathroom with grab bars, ...  
  
... demanding public buildings to be THE TRACK OF wheelchair friendly.  
... interior necessitate~~s~~ wide corridor and ...  
~~Many~~ A LARGE NUMBER OF cities have already had A subway and bus system to serve THE wheelchair user ...  
... as access to THE wheelchair.  
Note: Actually, your summary is a good job. However, you still make mistakes grammatically, especially use of articles. Besides that, you should make your sentences more various. you can use the technic of both reducing and omitting. Turning to the flow, you can display your information well. You only need harnessing the linking words to make your move smoother. I really believe you can show the better progress if you wanna practice more and more  
  
Overall, GOOD JOB  
Keep Writing  
GOOD LUCK
**The table below gives the results of two surveys, in 1997 and 2006, in which people were asked which communication skills were essential in their jobs.**  
  
The table gives information about the results of two study that covered people about parts of communication skills which were external and internal communication that essential in their work in 1997 and 2002. Overall, both external and internal communication skills more essential by year except in selling a product or service which was less needed by employee and the highest increased was taken by listening carefully to colleagues.  
  
First survey told about external communication of worker. Three of four aspect through a steadily increased, selling a product or service has a steadily decreased from 24 percent in 1997 to 21 percent in 2006. The most important external communication which was needed by employee is dealing with people by 65 percent then selling an outcome or service and advising or caring for clients.  
  
Second survey illustrates communication skills which were needed by employee to make up relation inside the company. All skills showed upward trend. The biggest percentage was had by listening carefully to colleagues, this skills also got the highest significant increase by 9 percent. Then, it was followed by instructing and persuading people, good speeches, study group, and planning the activities of others.  
  
*
... communication skills were the most essential by year (...) needed by employees and the highest increase~~d~~ was taken by ...  
  
--------> you don't have verb in the sentence (both external and internal communication skills more essential by year except in selling a product or service ) so you should add 'were'  
  
-------> more essential -------> the most essential (because yo don't have comparison in the sentence)  
-------> needed by employees -----> (employee is plural)  
--------> increase~~d~~ was (double verb so increased=increase)  
  
... external communication of workers . Three of four aspect through increased steadily , selling a product or service ~~has a~~decreased steadily from 24 percent ...  
... was needed by employees is dealing with people by ...
Hi nurainiyusuf16, I want to give some comments  
  
1. ... internal communication skills were more essential by ..  
It was missing verb, so it should be added by 'were'  
  
2. ... work in 1997 and ~~2002~~2006 ...  
Because in the tabel, it happens in 1997 and 2006. I think it is so crucial for task response, because of wrong data  
  
3. In overall, you need to mention the year, do not only 'by year'. For instance, in 1997 and 2006  
  
Thank you  
Break a leg
The proportion of social media platform used by people from 2011 to 2013 is presented in the pie chart, measured in percent. Overall, the most significant fact to emerge is that the use of Twitter, Linkedln, Google+, and Pinterest showed an increase while Facebook dropped significantly over the timeframe shown. Moreover, it is clear that Google+ experienced a dramatic growth than other social media channel.  
  
To begin with, Twitter, Linkedln, Google+, and Pinterest had similar pattern which increased from year to year. Initially, Twitter and Linkedln stood at 21% and 10%, then they rose to 25% and 15% respectively in the end of the period. On the other hand, Google+ and Pinterest began at same levels, 5%. While Pinterest only finished at 8%, Google+ experienced a marked rise, which grew roughly three times than it started and ended at 18%, the highest growth than the others.  
  
In contrast, Facebook plunged dramatically by the end of the period. Firstly, it stood at 59% in 2011, the highest percentage than other social media channel. Subsequently, Facebook jumped sharply to solely 38% in the end of the timespan. Although Facebook experienced a sharp fall, its position was still in the first place as one of the favorite social media platform.  
  
*
Hi Amril,  
I can see that your writing is getting better. Keep up the good work! Yet, there is no perfect writing after-all because I also can notice some rooms for improvements. You can see them in the detailed descriptions below.  
  
1st paragraph:  
- ... in the pie charts  
- Moreover, ~~it is clear that~~(This is redundant. Look at your previous sentence.) Google+ experienced...  
  
2nd paragraph:  
- ...had similar patterns which increased ~~from year to year.~~annually.  
- ...Twitter **and** Linkedln stood at 21% **and** 10%, and then they rose to 25% **and** 15% respectively in ...  
(too many "and(s)" in a single sentence would not be good for your lexical resource score. You can just separate them or use another type of connector)  
  
- ...began at same levels, at approximately/nearly/roughly 5%.  
  
The pattern of your third paragraph is quite similar to your second paragraph. Try to find another pattern of writing for each body paragraph. If you look at them closer, you will see the usage of "stood at", "in the end of the period", "in the end of...", "experienced". If you feel stuck, just switch the active form into passive one. It would be really helpful I guess.  
  
Hope this helps mate :)
The given diagrams indicate the silkworm's life cycle and how it produces silk. At a glance, there are four natural circle stages started from eggs while the latter passes five linear steps to create silk cloth utilizing pupa.  
  
Firstly, eggs from moth will hatch after it brooded within ten days to be a silkworm larva. Spending a month or one a half month consume mulberry leave, it then create silk thread covering their body. Later, before it needs double eight days to transform into moth and lay eggs, it spends approximately three to eight days to be a chrysalis.  
  
Next, to produce a silk cloth, a pupa that is got from silkworm's cycle life is utilized. To get it loose, it is boiled in the hot water. After it is being stretched, a 300 - 900 m yarn then is created. Afterwards, before it dyed, it can be twisted first or being weaved.  
  
*
Hi Mujadiddah,  
Here's my analysis towards your report summary of IELTS task 1. I hope you can follow through.  
  
1st paragraph:  
- Most of IELTS candidates are failed to create an appropriate overview. This is dangerous for those who want to reach band 6 or above. My suggestion is that you need to complete the way that you present the information in the overview / introduction of your essay. You accidentally created only two sentences in what was otherwise a very strong start to your essay. Your mistake was compressing the information into the two sentences you presented. Format your opening statement into at least three sentences this way:  
  
*>> The given diagrams... (1st sentence)  
>> At a glance,.... (2nd sentence)  
>> Moreover, the longest process occurs when cocoon... (3rd sentence)*  
  
Overall, I reckon that this type of essay needs passive form of sentences. I can notice that your essay were still consist of more active sentences than passive sentences. Composing appropriate sentences are also one of the essential criteria of IELTS task 1 essay, particularly in grammatical range and accuracy. I hope you can do better in the next practice :)
**The table below gives the results of two surveys, in 1997 and 2006, in which people were asked which communication skills were essential in their jobs.**  
  
The table gives information about several kinds of communication skills were significant in vacancy based on the results of two surveys in 1997 and 2006. Overall, it can be seen that for external interaction, workers believe that dealing with people skill more important than selling a product or service skill and for internal interaction especially with company, employees argue that listening carefully to colleagues' skill more essential than making speeches or presentations.  
  
The results of surveys illustrates about the greatest number of external interaction skill for employees was dealing with people at 60 percent in 1997. Then, it was a sharp increase at 65 percent in 2006 and it was stable be the greatest in external communication. The number of selling a product or service was the lowest percentage in 1997 at 24 percent and it was a gradual decrease at 21 percent in 2006. In 1997, the percentage of advising or caring for customers or clients was higher than the number of knowledge of particular products or services at 36 and 25 percent respectively and it was turn-up down in 2006.  
  
Based on table internal communication that listening carefully to colleagues was the most essential in 1997 and 2006 at 38 and 47 percent particularly. Besides that, the less essential in 1997 and 2006 was making speeches or presentation at 7 and 11 percent respectively. Furthermore, for other internal interaction skills such as instructing or training people, persuading or influencing others, analyzing problem together with others and planning the activities of others were a dramatic rise from 1997 to 2006, but totally all of the percentage was under 50 percent.  
  
*   
*question*
... kinds of communication skills ~~were significant~~ in vacancy based on ... [1 sentence => 1s+1verb, if you want to make 2s and 2v, you should use conjunction  
  
... external interaction, workers[s] believe[be careful in your word, and avoid to give opinion in your writing part 1] that dealing with people (...) company, employees *argue*that listening carefully to ...  
  
... lowest percentage in 1997 at 24 percent**,**[conjunction "and, but, or, so, yet" need "," before the second sentence] and it was a (...) 25 percent respectively**,** and it was ...  
  
Besides that, ~~the~~ less comparison => you should compare it with another else essential in 1997 and ...  
... persuading or influencing others, ~~analyzing~~analysing problem together with ...  
  
overall is well, good job
Hello willy! I will give you some opinions about your essay.  
  
(1) ... be seen that for **the** external interaction, (...) dealing with people skill **was** more important than ...  
(2) ... listening carefully to colleagues' skill **is** more essential ...  
(3) The result*s* of survey*s* illustrate~~s~~ about the greatest number ...  
(4) Then, it ~~was~~**had** a sharp increase (...) it was stable ~~be~~**as** the greatest in ...  
(5) it was turn-up down in 2006. --> *There was only 2 datas so, you cannot say as fluctuate trend*  
(6) Based on ~~table~~ internal communication **table** that **the number of** listening carefully to ...  
(7) Besides ~~that~~ , the less essential in ...
Hi wilyaftika23,  
  
the word is too common, you should utilize another advance vocabulary - "regarding"  
- The table gives information about several kinds of ...  
- illustrates about the greatest number of external  
  
- ... employees argue that listening carefully to colleagues' skill ... ---> you have to use past tense for overview statement, because it had already occurred in 1997 and 2006.  
  
- The results of surveys illustrates about the greatest ... ---> it is plural subject, you have to write verb 1 without "s"  
  
- the greatest number of external interaction ...---> you have to use "amount" for uncountable goods.  
  
the subject more than 1, it should be "were"  
- ... a product or service was the lowest percentage in 1997  
- ... of the percentage was under 50 percent.
## consumption of energy in the USA

  
  
The graph below gives information from a 2008 report about consumption of energy in the USA since 1980 with projections until 2030.  
  
Answer:  
  
The graph shows growth in the energy utilizing during the period 1980 - 2030 in the USA accounted for a 2008 report. Overall, the consumption for five out of the six fuels are expected to have some significant changes which Petrol and Oil energy has experienced a steep rise during a period of 50 years.  
  
Petrol and Oil was the highest consumed energy in 1980, stood at around 35 quadrillion Units. With the exception of a slight fall over the next 15 years, it will increase significantly, and reach a peak in the final period of just below 50 quadrillion Units. On the other hand, Coal and Natural gas have grown steadily throughout the given frame, but Coal will exceed Natural gas by approximately 6 quadrillion Units.  
  
Interestingly, Nuclear, Solar/Wind, and Hydropower are the least used energy in the 1980's. However, in the future, the former and the latter will rise slightly at just above 5 quadrillion Units, whereas Hydropower have remained stable.  
  
To conclude, Petrol and Oil energy has become the most popular energy to consume, whilst Hydropower have been the least popular of the six in the USA based on history and projections, over the fifty-year period.  
  
*
Hi Pujiati, I have some suggestions for you.  
  
1. The words "units", "petroleum", "oil", "natural gas" etc. are not proper nouns. Don't capitalize them unless they are the first words in your sentence.  
  
2. You have used the phrase "on the other hand" incorrectly. The phrase is used to connect two statements that are opposite to each other. Obviously, the trends observed in the case of petroleum and oil, and coal and natural gas aren't exact opposites. After all, both are experiencing an increase in usage over time.  
  
3. Some of your sentences are explaining trends that will be observed in the future, but you're using the present/past tense. Be sure to use the right tense depending on when the trends are taking place. For example, your concluding sentence should look something like *To conclude, petroleum and oil **will** remain the (...) while Hydropower **will** be the least consumed energy.*
In modern era, advance technology especially in communication form has given worst impacts for individual relationship with other people. I disagree with this notion owing to the fact that electronic media make accessibly to communicate with other people.  
  
First of all, several people think that electronic media, like mobile phone, make people just focus on their media and ignore other people surrounding them. Certainly focus or not on some persons in their life hood do not caused by electronic media. It is just depend on their willingness and how to make convenience condition when communicate with other people. For example my experience; I have communication media, mobile phone, and most of my friends have too, but we still have good relationships not only in media but also in real live. When we meet, we just focus on our conversation. It has happened owing to the fact that we know when we should use this media or not. So, electronic media especially communication form do not destroy our relationship.  
  
On the other hand, electronic media particularly mobile phone make accessibly to communicate with other people in world wide. For example, I want to contact my lecturer in Surabaya while my position in Banyuwangi, so using mobile phone to sand massage or WattsApp make me to do not visit Surabaya. So, using communication tools, like hand phone, make we closer with our colleague or keep our relationship.  
  
In conclusion, electronic media no not make bad relationship with other people. However, it make other people closer each other than before.
Hello  
  
Your text could use being refined stylistically so that it sounds better:  
  
~~advance~~*communication* technology [...] *appears to have a negative effect on people's ability to pursue interpersonal relationships.*  
I disagree with this ~~notion~~*assumption* [...] *because technology helps people to stay in close touch with each other*.  
~~several~~*some* people...electronic ~~media~~*devices*... [...] *cause individuals to stay preocupied with using these gadgets for sending each other messages.*  
~~Certainly focus~~ [...]*However, it is not because of technology that some people tend to ignore their close friends and relatives.*  
not only in ~~media~~*virtual reality*, but...  
~~It has happened~~ [...] *The reason for this is that we do not allow our electronic gadgets to control us.*  
make ~~accessibly~~*it easier* to...  
~~sand~~ [...] *send*...  
~~make me to do not visit Surabaya~~ [...] *spare me from the nessesity to visit Surabaya.*  
  
I hope this will help. Regards.
**The table gives the results of two surveys, in 1997 and 2006, in which people were asked which communication skills were essential in their jobs.  
  
Writing Task 1, Unit 3D, Page 23**  
  
The table compares the proportion for people who were asked which types of communication skills were important in their careers, in 1997 and 2006. Overall, it is noticable that the largest proportion for external and internal communication in each year were dealing with people and listening carefully to colleagues successively.  
  
According to the first internal communication skills, the figure of dealing with people stood at 60% in 1997 and went up to 65% in 1997. Although it has the largest number in the result of survey, the figure of knowledge of particular products or services had a significant increase of 6% in the last year given. In 2006, there was also an incline in the figure of advising or caring for customers or clients to 39%, eventhough the figure of selling a product or service fell down at 21%.  
  
The second communication skills show that the number for listening carefully to colleagues started at 38% in 1997 and increased markedly by 9% in 2006. On the other hand, the tiniest increase experienced in the number of planning the activities of others by only 1%. Meanwhile, concerning the rest parts, there was a general rise with average by 5% for each communication skill. (202 words)  
  
*
Aloha Septiadara, Here are my thoughts;  
  
(1) ... the proportion ~~for~~of people ~~who were~~(you can reduce this) asked which ~~types~~type(just mention one) of communication skills ~~were~~was important in their ...  
  
(2) Overall, it is noticable that ~~the largest proportion for external and internal communication ...~~the largest proportion for external communication in each year was dealing with people and internal was listening carefully to colleagues successively.  
  
(3) According to data , in the first internal ...
**Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.**  
  
Human live with each other and always communicate person. Good attitude is a must for everybody to show that we need someone else. Many people argue that children have to study about their attitude in school, where someone thinks that parents give more effect on children's life. However, it depends on point of view from someone and I think parents give higher good impact for children.  
  
Parents always available for their lovely child and ready to give the best that they have. In a fact, children usually spend their time at home with their family. As a result, parents can easily gave an advice to children whenever they want. For instance, when I was a child, my mother taught me how should I do when I meet other people. She told me to give big smile and great smoothly. I was so happy because other people would be so kind to me and they love me. I cannot imagine if do not learn these habits, everyone will hate me and I will not feel glad to meet another person. Besides that, if our closer relatives teach us how to be nice person, we will regard them and it is simple to understand. For instance, I will obey my father advice and I will implement in my life. It happens because I feel comfortable and I'm sure that he teach positive things to me.  
  
However, someone believes that school is formal education to get new knowledge. School have ab exact curriculum for their students to be taught. For example, Indonesian children learn about PPKN subject in elementary school. This subject explain the attitude and how to interact with other people. Besides that, teacher will give an example in daily activity how to be a good person. And if a students do wrong things, teacher will tell the student about their attitude that it is wrong and they need to change it. And next, children meet many friends in school and can directly implement about attitude that their teacher told to them. Therefore, school is good place for practicing knowledge the they have ever gotton.  
  
Although, school can train children to be good person, parents are the most essential teacher for children to learn about habit activity. I think people will give different opinion between school and parents, but both of them are the best place for studying and get new experience in life.