dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
## a peaceful and worth visiting country

  
  
Firstly, somalia is a sovereign country situated in the horn of africa, it is bordered by kenya, ethopia and Djibouti through the disputed territory Somaliland, it has the longest coastline in africa's mainland and it's knows as "The land of punt"  
  
Culturally it's called as the most homogenous country in africa, somalis share same faith, culture and language. They are generous, friendly, passionate, and respectful people, its the only place where people travel without any concern about what to eat or where to relax during their journeys as they typically knock any houses's door comes toward them whenever they need a food or a place to rest and sleep, they used to give a warm welcome to any guest regardless a previous knowledge.  
  
Due to Somalia's proximity to the equator, there is not much seasonal variation in its climate. However, there are some very unpredictable rainfalls that occur sometimes. Hot conditions prevail year-round along with monsoon.  
  
The capital city of somalia is mogadisho, the largest city as well, followed by hargeisa and bosaso, Apart from a mountainous coastal zone in the north and several pronounced river valleys, most of the country is extremely flat.  
  
The economic of somalia depends on fishing, farming and livestock, although, the two decades lasting civil war has ruined the economy, now as world bank told the economy have been growing up since 2012. Apart from those major sources somalia also get a huge amount of money by exporting bananas, charcoal, hides and fishes.  
  
Somalia got their independence in 1960 from Britain and Italy who colonized the southern and northern regions respectively, since then somalia joined african union in 1963 and arab league in 1974 fourteen years after their independence.  
  
The most famous sports in somalia is football, children usually play at streets and beaches where you may see a very happy children chasing a ball or ball shaped materials, moreover the football federation exists, regional competitions always take place and fans passionately attend and fill the stadiums.  
  
I would like to conclude my topic about somalia by admitting somalia is peace and a worth visiting country.
The main problem with your essay is the lack of capitalization throughout the presentation. You did not capitalize the name of countries a total of 20 times in your presentation. I am not sure why you did not capitalize the first letter of a country's name. That is English Grammar 101. All nouns are capitalized. Nouns are the names of persons, places, and things. Pronouns are capitalized when used at the start of a sentence. The exception being the pronoun I, which is always capitalized regardless of its location within the sentence.  
  
I am wondering how you could make this mistake. If you used a word processing program, it would have highlighted such errors. If you used a mobile phone, the auto-correct would have shown you the correct spelling of the word. There is simply no excuse for such an extensive error in word capitalization.  
  
As far as punctuation mark use is concerned, you constantly used a comma where a period was required. Creating long and hard to follow sentences. Rather than connecting ideas using a comma, offer clarity in the paragraph by using a period after sentences instead.
**Some people believe that technology has made men more sociable, and others think that it has made us less sociable.  
discuss both views?**  
  
## Technology and Socialization

  
  
Many people believe that technological advancement has made humans less sociable. Others believe that the opposite is true. Although technology is causing the growing loss of physical communication between people, this essay argues that technological progress has given us an unprecedented number of opportunities to become more sociable.  
  
On one hand, innovations in technology allow us to get anything we want without the need of physical communication to anyone. Various online shopping applications offer a simple click of a button which results in product being delivered to our doorstep in no time. Numerous dating websites have led to the decreasing number of real life dates, where people are too scared to interact with each other face-to-face. A recent research has shown that only 28% of single men agree to go on a real date after getting to know the partner on a dating website.  
  
However, technology now allows people to socialize more, because it removes the variables of distance and time out of the equation. Whereas in the past a person could only send a certain amount of text on paper, because it was costly and it took a long time to be delivered, now one can send an electronic letter of any length. Various social media and websites are aimed at connecting friends and acquaintances together, therefore, building and improving their social skills. My mother, for example, who always refused to attend school anniversary meetings, loves to chat with the same classmates via an online chat.  
  
Some would argue that technology makes us fail at being more social due to the lack of physical interaction, while others believe that it makes us communicate with each other even more. I believe technology helps us socialize better, because it has created so many effective means for it.
In a 3 paragraph discussion essay, you have to present the following body of paragraphs:  
  
- 1st POV  
- 2nd POV  
- Personal opinion based on the first 2 POV.  
  
You created a prompt deviation in your presentation because the original prompt called not only for a discussion of both views, but also a presentation of your personal opinion. You decided that you know better than the prompt and you wanted to discuss only the 2 public opinions. As such, you will be scored in a failing manner in the TA section because you used a tangential response in the essay. There will be points deductions for the personal point of view that you did not represent in your discussion.  
  
You are constantly making the same mistakes in your essays, so I will no longer be repeating those discussions. I'll just focus on the newest errors based on your approach to this essay topic.
Submitted by tan1010pro on Thu, 02/20/2020 - 07:13  
Which band score will i get ? thank you  
  
## the best way of assessing students

  
  
In recent year, people have changed the method of evaluating from a written exams into practical assessment. This tendency has it's own benefits and drawbacks.  
  
On the one hand, There are a lot of advantages that practical test may bring about. Firstly, This kind of test will be able to evaluate the real ability of students because it reflect how much efforts did student try to complete the assignments . Whereas, It is not very difficult for The students to cheat on the paper based exams. As a result they can get a flying color mark without studying. Secondly, A assessment method containing interviews, group work, presentation help students to significantly enhance their soft skills. For example, a presentation helps people to become confident when he or she talks in front of people.  
  
On the other hand, This tendency may bring about some drawbacks. Practical exam requires an well domestic finances to spend on a number of important equipment. In particular, It totally takes a drastic payment for a country to purchase a great deal of computers. It means that it's nearly impossible for developing countries to perform this kind of test. Another negative aspect of this trend is that it require a high qualified teacher. In contrast with the traditional exams which have a clear answer keys to help examiner get easier to mark their students. The teacher may encounter with more difficulties in giving an accurate band score for the performance of candidates.  
  
In conclusion, performing a practical exam can be advantageous by reflecting exactly the ability of student and giving them more opportunities to enhance their essential skills and disadvantageous because it require a great deal of money and really professional teachers.
You may have got some ideas.Unfortunately, I have to say that there are a lot of grammar mistakes. For example :"it's" at the first paragraph.( and so on ). And personally, I think you shouldn't write " with flying color" because it brings like a "idiom" feeling towards .  
  
In the second sentence of the 2nd paragraph, instead of using simple future tens, you had better use simple present  
  
And there are some logical errors in your arguement in your second parapraph . For example, there is a tendency of practical assessment doesn't particularly means that underdeveloped countries are forced to follow this trend. You haven't explain this but in ur paragraph, you believe that this trend will affect these countries. However, in my opinion, it's absolutely their choice to make. Furthermore, you doesn't explain why this trend " require high-qualified teacher " is a downside. Because what's worth mentioning is that by bring up the standard requirement for a teacher to be qualified does mean that these teachers are more experienced and consequently, is an absolute good thing to do. REMEMBER THIS IS ONLY MY PERSONAL OPINION  
  
One point I'd like to make is that you should seperate your ideas clearly. If in the first paragraph, you choose to talk about benefits so let the 2nd be about disadvantages. You kind of mix these things together.  
  
What is more, a comma and a dot can bring a major change to ur essay so don't let them be underused. And you have made some mistakes with your capitalize too.  
  
This is what I personally think. Hope it can help you someway....
@tanpro1010  
  
In your introduction you failed to paraphrase the task sentence, because "movement away" does not mean "changed the method", it means there are still some written exams that are being conducted, it is just their number is decreasing. Therefore, you will be downgraded for the TA.  
  
Your conclusion cannot consist of just one long sentence. You need to paraphrase the question again, mention the advantages and disadvantages, and give a concluding sentence. Your score would be downgraded for this reason too.  
  
Grammar: Your essay contains a lot of grammar mistakes, inappropriate usage of collocations, and phrasal verbs. "Firstly, This kind...", "Secondly, A..." I am pretty sure you are aware of the fact that you cannot capitalize pronoun after comma. Pay attention to verbs in present tense, third person's form requires "s" at the end. "...helps people to become confident..." the correct form should be "help people do something..."  
  
There are multiple repetitions of the words "help" and "presentation" in two last sentences of your first body paragraph. Try to find a paraphrase for them.  
  
Your ideas are good, but it is very difficult for the reader to understand them, because your writing needs some work.  
  
Best of luck!
There are several problems with your writing. The first is that you are not achieving the minimum 3 sentence requirement in the TA and conclusion paragraphs. As these two sections are directly related to the TA score, the examiner will take this to mean that you did not understand the instructions very well, which is why you wrote so little in these paragraphs. Always aim for a 3 sentence paragraph. For the introduction and conclusion paragraphs, provide a 3 sentence outline as a minimum presentation.  
  
Your paragraphs are incoherent and not cohesive because you are trying to discuss at least 2 ideas in every paragraph. You need only one topic sentence per paragraph to score well in the C&C section. Each paragraph needs to fully explain one idea in 3-5 sentences. If you compare your firs topic discussion with your second topic discussion in the same paragraph, you will notice that one explanation, the first one, is better explained in the paragraph than the second topic. That is why you are asked to write a minimum of 3 paragraphs. You can already score well in the C&C section, along with the GRA rating if you write 3 sentences that:  
  
- Have a clear topic sentence  
- Has an understandable explanation  
- Has a good example or personal experience provided  
  
Remember, the important matter here is not to just use plenty of English words, you have to prove that you can use the English words to explain yourself. If you cannot do that, then you will not perform well in an English class where you will be expected to participate in both written and oral English. Based on the gravity of your grammar mistakes, which show a serious problem with English grammar rules and sentence construction (word choice errors, wrong use of capitalization, sentence formatting, etc.), contractions, your possible score could be a 5. You discussed the topic well in the body but it was heavy with grammar issues and thought progression problems. You have the potential to score even higher if you learn to become careful with your essay developments in the future.
## The Rise of Solo Living

  
  
In recent year, it has become for more normal to people to live apart from their families due to privacy purposes. In my perspective, this trend is two-fold, both in benefits and drawbacks.  
  
I advocate that this rise can be seen as a positive sign for both personal and economy. In personal side,it provides people privacy which is the most required factor for an ideal home among millenials. In this way we enhance independence and self-controlled for manifold issues. For example, a young man in order to live along, he need to deal with finacial problems, taxes, bills, or simplely:households as all of this is inevitable and essential skill for future. From the economic angle, the trend impules business activities, host or house estate thus the increase of goverment budget and economy.  
  
Nevertheless, as far as i am concerned, at the opposite end of the spectrum. The negatives is also remarkable equally . As we all know: living alone brings loneliness , particularly when we fell depressed and anxious . A vast majority of our close relationship with family will be cut off and no longer in touch again. Beside that, with enormous amount of people want to live along, lands do not have possibility to response to that many demands, hence, lack of accomodation is the critical problem that the world is facing now  
  
For the reason mentioned above, it seems to me that both positive or negative consequences are likely impact significantly toward our future
Since you did not upload the complete prompt, it will be impossible to assess your full compliance with the discussion instructions. What I can do, is offer you a general review of your ability to follow British English grammar rules. I am assuming that this essay was written for a Task 2 IELTS test which is why it will be reviewed using British English guidelines.  
  
Review your word capitalization rules. The pronoun "I" is always capitalized. It is never written in lowercase when referring to a statement made by the writer or when used at the beginning of a sentence. It is not capitalized when used in the spelling of everyday words.  
  
Be careful when spelling words. If possible, type your essays in MS Word so that you can get an indicator of the words that have been misspelled. With 8 misspelled words, severe LR deductions will affect your final score. Additionally, remember to hit the space bar after every full stop. Deductions for the GRA section will be applied accordingly. Punctuation placements are critical to the increase of your scores.  
  
Word choice errors exists as in "beside" meaning next to and "besides" which means "aside from". Familiarize yourself with subject verb agreements as you have shown errors in that area (is = are). Give great thought to the words that you use. Make sure the meaning connotes exactly what you mean (fell=Feel).  
  
Please provide the complete information for the prompt the next time you post here. It is hard to review your essay when the topic and discussion instruction is unclear to the reviewer.
**Some people think that instead of preventing climate change, we need to find a way to live with it. To what extent do you agree or disagree?**  
  
**Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.  
  
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.  
  
You should write at least 250 words.**  
  
It is argued that people should figure out how to live climate change rather than preventing it. This essay disagrees with this argument. Firstly, it will demonstrate that we can not always live with climate change and secondly, discuss why preventing is easier and more efficient.  
  
Living with frequent and dramatic climate changes is impossible. According to the evolution rule, those who can adapt themselves to the environment survive. However, the adaptation to a novel environment often takes a long time. If climate changes frequently, many animals may die since they can not get enough food due to the bad weather. With animals dying, it will be harder for people to produce food. So people's living condition is going to be worse. For example, many animals died in the Ice Age, which shows that it is hard to survive after dramatic climate changes.  
  
Compared to adapting, it costs less to prevent climate change. Climate changes have caused many disasters including earthquakes. Many people lose their lives when such disasters happen. Governments have to pay billions of money to reconstruct cities. If the government takes action in advance to avoid climate change, less money will be spent and more people can survive. For example, those countries that produce less carbon dioxide will spend less money on rescuing plants or animals dying of high temperatures.  
  
In conclusion, it is highly recommended to prevent climate change instead of thinking out a way to live with it. That's because adaptations to climate change are difficult and it takes less to prevent it.
Your essay is quite clear, however, it is still lack of attractiveness and conviction to readers in your overall argument.  
  
In the first paragraph, you have missed to point out that climate change affect DIRECTLY to people's health, which is a pity. I would recommend to put some examples and ideas related to this such as: more people are dying because the global warming; respiratory-related syndromes are becoming more and more common among people.  
  
And this is just my PERSONAL OPINION that I think your sentences are quite too short. Perhaps, you should add more information to it by using Relative clause or some other kind. It's such a pity because I think your examples are quite short so they can't make an striking impression, which is a " should"  
  
A tiny little mistake in grammar is that " So " is an adverb connecting to clause not to start a sentence  
  
Overall, I can see your effort and your logic. It's impressive that there is very few grammar mistakes. GOOD JOB !!!
## university graduates, canada, 1992-2007

  
  
**Task1**  
The number of students who graduate each year in Canada from 1992 to 2007 is shown in the diagram below.  
  
Overall, there were more and more graduates every year. However, there were more female students than male graduates during this time.  
  
From 1992 to 2001, the number of female graduates fluctuated around 100,000. There was also fluctuation in the number of male graduates during this time, which is around 70,000. Both female and male graduates are becoming more between 2001 to 2007. The number of female graduates increased from about 105,000 to about 150,000. And the number of male graduates rose from around 70,000 to around 95,000.  
  
Between 1992 and 2001, female graduates outnumbered male graduates by about 300,000. Moreover, starting in 2001, the gap between the two genders was becoming larger and larger and ended up to more than 400,000 in 2007.  
  
Task2  
*One task at one time*  
  
*
You should learn to identify the different types of illustrations used in a Task 1 essay so that you can properly identify the type of image provided. This is not just a diagram. This is a line graph with fluctuating measures. The rest of your errors in the essay will not matter though. You failed to write the minimum 150 word requirement. You only wrote 143 words. Which means points deductions will be made for the lacking word presentation. That means your errors will all add up to produce a less than 5 band score for your essay. This is not a passing essay due to lack of proper analysis development. You should have done 3 paragraphs in this essay that covered the following:  
  
- Summary overview with trending statement  
- Comparison of male graduates over the years  
- Comparison of female graduates over the years  
  
Do not automatically assume that you have to do a comparison discussion in the paragraphs. Sometimes, as in this case, simply stating the facts and doing comparisons based on groupings tends to be the best and most comprehensive essay presentation. You should only do comparison data presentations when there are cross-over points in the data indicated.
## the amounts of waste produced by 3 companies in last 15 years

  
  
The line graph below illustrates how much waste was generated per year by three different companies between 2000 and 2015. Overall, companies A and B produced less and less waste and company C produced more and more during this period.  
  
Company A generated 12 tonnes of waste in 2000 and the weight decreased to about 11 tonnes in 2005. 5 years later in 2010, it dropped to 9 tonnes. The tendency continued between 2010 and 2015 with the amount of waste going down to less than 9 tonnes. Around 8 tonnes of waste was generated by company B and the number increased to about 10 tonnes in 2005, then decreasing to around 7 tonnes, in the end dropping to 3 tonnes in 2015.  
  
Different from company A and B, company C produced more and more waster in a year. In 2000, only about 4 tonnes of waste was generated. It went up to 6 tonnes in 2005, later rising to about 7 tonnes, ending up with around 10 tonnes in 2015.  
  
*
Hi shinxg!  
The introduction and overview caused me a bit confusion. Firstly, the unit are not mentioned (tonnes) in the first paragraph. It would be beter if you can make the comparison clearer, instead of "less and less" or "more and more".  
  
It can be seen that you seem focus too much on the figures of each year in a certain company without comparing it with others. Using more vebs besides "generated" would help a better writting.