dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
**Some people think that in order to solve traffic and transportation problems people should be encouraged to live in cities rather than in suburbs or in the countryside.  
  
To what extent do you agree or disagree?**  
  
## a solution to the traffic congestion?

  
  
Over the last few decades, vehicle usage has been dramatically increased, causing traffic and several transportation problems. Some people opine that, in order to cope with the traffic congestion, people should move from the countryside to city areas. However, I disagree with this view to a large extent, and my reasons will explain in this essay.  
  
In the first place, Shifting tens of thousands of people to the city side may result in several other additional problems due to the lack of infrastructural facilities. Prevailing facilities and resources in the urban areas will probably not enough to deal with the increasing demand of the community. For instance, public transportation, market and community places will be overwhelmed with the high crowd; therefore, moving people from outskirts to towns will arise numerous social problems and community conflicts.  
  
Apart from that, the population movement to the city side will increase the urban population, which will magnify the risk of environmental pollution. In order to deal with the increasing demand for the residences and other facilities, authorities will have to gear up the development activities. Increasing construction and development tasks will result in numerous biohazards such as drainage network blockages and the excessive amount of garbage production; hence, encouraging people to move into the city areas will make an adverse impact on the environment and inherently affect the public health.  
  
In conclusion, rising traffic congestion is a serious matter for many large cities. It has been suggested that an effective solution would be to encourage people to shift from outskirts and suburbs to the city side. From my point of view, population movement is not a feasible way to cope with the transportation issues as it can arise several other social and environmental problems.
thilini, there is an improvement in your presentation. I can see that you now understand how to approach an "extent" opinion essay. However, you have several grammar errors in this presentation that shows a lack of grammar and sentence development in your essay. You will be scored down for the improper grammar presentation of your sentences. The first way to avoid this problem is to avoid using run on sentences separated either by commas or semicolons. Instead, aim to write short and separate sentences in the paragraph. Writing no more than 5 sentences at the most will maximize your GRA scoring opportunities. The second problem, relating to your sentence structure and use of connecting words, can be resolved by having you pass these practice tests through an online grammar checker before you submit it for review in the forum. The grammar checker will help you spot the mistakes and offer corrections that you should remember for your upcoming practice tests. This procedure should help you improve your written sentence formation prior to the actual test. However, since you will not have the grammar checker with you on the actual test date, you should make sure to remember your points for correction during practice so that you don't make the same mistakes during the actual test.  
  
Additionally, you must also write a total of 5 paragraphs in your Task 2 presentation in order to fully utilize your scoring considerations in all 4 criteria. It will also give you an opportunity to better indicate your English comprehension and writing skills because you will be expressing more of yourself in English. Remember, it not about writing more words though, but explaining more about your understanding of the essay prompt in simple terms. Even if you write more words, but you do not properly develop your topic discussion, then it will be useless. Do not write more than 250 words so that you will have time to edit your work before submission.
*Some people prefer to exercise alone, such as running, while others like to exercise with a group of people, such as joining a sport team. Which do you prefer? Use a specific ideas and examples to support your decision on this issue.*  
  
## group exercise has more benefits

  
  
Exercise is important to everybody. Doing exercise allow us to be energetic and healthy. In modern society, some people prefer to do exercise alone while others like to join a team work. Personally, I prefer the latter one.  
  
Firstly, exercising in a group can make more new friends and not only improve our skills but prevent us from sport injure. Exercise is a good social activity. It help us to contact with each other in the most naïve of ourselves. Hence, no matter the people we are familiar with or not, we are able to make friends. Moreover, these new friends are more willing to share their personal exercise skills and experience during exercise. Therefore, we can enhance exercise skills and also keep the sport danger away. For example, Harry, a friend of mine, makes a lot of friends while he plays basketball with others. Therefore, his new friends not only share their basketball skills to him but also tell him how to prevent those danger during exercise. Now, his basketball skills are great and he becomes a basketball coach. By contrast, people who exercise alone cannot make new friends easily. In addition, once they do exercise in a wrong way, they not only are not able to rectify their problem but may get hurt easily because no one tell them the mistake they make. Hence, exercise in a group is better than alone.  
  
Secondly, doing exercise with a group help me to be motivated. People are easily bored with exercise. After being bored with the exercise, we might find a lot of excuse and give up easily. To help ourselves stick on a plan, working with a team can help ourselves overcome the problem. Take myself for example. I tried many times to do exercise like jogging when I was an university student. However, being bored with jogging, I often gave myself an excuse, for example doing the report or preparing for the test. Gradually, I stopped going jogging and stayed in my dormitory all day long but did nothing. One day, one of my friend, Tommy, asked me to jog with him and his friends. I became motivated and keep the good habit until now. Someone says that exercise alone has more flexible schedule. However, although they may be flexible, they may become lazy without others supervising them and give up exercise in the end. Therefore, I definitely like to choose to do exercise in a group.  
  
In conclusion, we can benefit from exercising in a group because we can make new friends. With this new friends, we can enhance our exercising skills and prevent from danger. In addition, we can stimulate by these friends and avoid us from being languid.
I am presuming this topic question would be the "TOEFL Independent Writing Task". Based on the TOEFL scoring rubrics available on their website, I would give your essay a score of 3.  
  
For being pro exercising with a group, making new friends and sharing experiences as well as staying motivated are good reasons. My main issues are the weak verb conjugations, weak sentence structures, and the rigid transitioning between ideas.  
  
For instance, I would alter your current 1st paragraph as follows:  
Exercise is important ~~to~~ for everybody. ~~Doing exercise allow us to be~~ It keeps us energetic and healthy. In the modern society, some people prefer to ~~do~~ exercise alone while others ~~like to join a team work~~ enjoy working out in a group. ~~Personally, I prefer the latter one.~~ While both techniques are efficient, I personally prefer the latter.  
  
If I am to change it completely, I would make it as follows:  
In a modern society were independence is sought, exercising alone is usually preferred. However, working out in a group has a lot of benefits than one may think. As social beings, we tend to feel better and work harder when grouped. Thus when an emotionally and physically draining activity, such as working out, is in question, having a gym buddy or a support group is a game changer.  
  
*If you can notice, in this version I have made the reader aware of my preference without stating it word for word. In the last sentence I created room for my supporting ideas to be later developed in the body paragraphs.*  
  
Again I am no expert and this is just my opinion on your essay. I hope my feedback helps you in some way :)
Frank, it will be a disservice for me to allow you to continue to believe that you could score a 3 with this essay. Based on the appropriate scoring considerations for the TOEFL test, which only trained individuals in the field are informed of, your essay will not pass the test at all. The basic reason it will fail, and at this point, is because you have not appropriately formatted the TOEFL essay that you presented.  
  
A basic TOEFL essay is anywhere between 150 and 250 words. If you write 150 words, you will probably pass the test on a mere passing mark. Write 250 words and you will get the highest possible scoring consideration. Write more than that and you will fail the test automatically. Why am I saying you will fail the test? Consider the most basic formatting requirement for TOEFL tests and you will understand why.  
  
A TOEFL essay cannot be more than 3 paragraphs, no more than 250 words due to the time constraint and writing requirements. The examiner is not interested in your vast English vocabulary, all that matters to him is that you can explain yourself clearly using the least amount of words possible. The reason for that is that in an American university or college, all research papers and essays have word limitations. He needs to know that you can perform within the limits of a basic English research or essay assignment. It for this reason that you will not pass the test based on the performance you showed in this practice test.  
  
Writing 250 words will allow you to have time to edit your essay. 300+ words means you will most likely not even finish writing the essay. If you do complete the essay, your work will not be proofread so your work will be scored with the errors, that could have been edited if you wrote only 250 words, still in there so it will pull down your score to badly, your will be in danger of not passing the test. Either way, you will not pass the test because with this length, you will not have enough time to wrap up the discussion before your time is up.  
  
I will assume that you are not enrolled in a formal TOEFL review class which is why you made this mistake. It will be helpful to you if you review the other TOEFL essays here and learn from the advice given to them so that you will not repeat the mistakes they made and you can also automatically improve your writing presentation in your succeeding practice tests.
Hi Frank,  
As a reader, I can see some grammar mistakes in your essay. I am not expert to give marks or analyze the structure of your essay, but I can clearly see some grammar mistakes.  
  
... no one ~~tell~~  tells them  
  
... share their basketball skills ~~to~~  with him ... those ~~danger~~ dangers ...  
  
It ~~help~~  helps us to ...  
  
a lot of ~~excuse~~ excuses  
  
~~an~~  a university : *university is not pronouncing as a vowel sound so you cant put the 'an' article.*
## Information Should Be Shared Freely Or Not

  
  
People's opinions differ as to whether or not information should be shared freely. While there are some strong arguments against free information, I still believe that it is a necessary aspect in the world.  
  
There are some reasons why people might argue that some information needs to pay money if people use it. Firstly, researchers spend long time and a lot of money figuring out the correct answers. Information for them is valuable so they can ask the charge if someone wants to use it. Secondly, some information is an important role for some companies. It can bring them thousands of millions of money. Finally, it is recognised that information such as scientific research, business and the academic field need money to check and manage when it is published.  
  
In spite of the above arguments, I support the view that information has an important role to promote the development of the world. The main benefit of information freedom is that everyone not only rich persons but also poor people can has chance to further information. For example, when I was a university student, I didn't have enough money to afford the charge of papers and my university wasn't also the member of Elsevier. It was meant that some information was limited for someone who they really needed. In my view, it is important for everyone to receive the information what they need because the more persons get the knowledge the more questions can be solved.  
  
In conclusion, information freedom certainly has it drawbacks, but I believe that the benefits outweigh in the long term.
Hi nanajohn, here are some of my opinion as a reader:  
  
1/ I think that you opening idea is unclear, which should directly answer to the prompt that "should" or "should not". So far what I've read, I guess that your opinion is "information should not be shared freely"?  
  
2/ You have some of the grammar mistakes: The third paragraph, you use "can has chance". I'm not quite sure what did you mean but the 2 verbs: can has could be written as "Can have". The same mistake with "was meant" in the same paragraph.  
  
3/ Your conclusion and the 3rd paragraph conflicts with each other, which conflicts with a whole essay. You do not clearly point out your idea of supporting or not supporting the free information. In my opinion, this is not a neutral idea so it should have a clearly introducing and closing sentence. Or else, you could indicate your neutral idea about the topic. As a reader, I am kinda confused about your opinion on the essay
Nana, I will congratulate you on writing more than the required 250 words for this essay. However, I will call your attention to a number of writing violations that you committed in this essay. The first, is that you did not appropriately represent a prompt restatement in the opening paragraph. It is also under the sentence requirement of 3-5 sentences. Since you failed to include the original prompt in this posting, I will be unable to show you how to correct this mistake.  
  
Based on the sentence requirement of the essay, you also should not have more than 5 sentences per paragraph. You should be presenting only one fully explained reason in each of the 3 body paragraphs. Due to your presentation of a number of reasons per paragraph, you did not really develop the explanation of the essay in as much as you simply listed your discussion points. This created a problem with the coherence and cohesiveness of your essay. As such, you would have gotten a low score immediately in 2 of the 4 scoring sections. Specifically, the TA and C&C sections.  
  
Based on the final sentence of your essay, you were supposed to discuss the drawbacks of the given discussion point. However, that was not the discussion reflected in your earlier statements. These are the reasons why this essay will most likely not garner a score higher than a 3.
**Question**:  
*Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold.  
  
To what extend do you agree or disagree?  
Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.*  
  
## The choice what to buy - is it really our decision?

  
  
Advertising plays a key role in commercial and remarks a vital decision in consumers' purchasing. It is thought that the high sales result from the advertising power instead of the society's needs in reality. As far as I concern, consumers usually buy more than they need due to advertising effects.  
  
Advertising or commercial ads applies tricky techniques to appeal consumers' purchasing intention. By amplifying the goods' functions and taking advantages from celebrities, majority of shoppers have been lured and believed in advertising without considering their real needs or recheck their own similar products. For specific instance, a girl decides to buy skin care products because of believing in her idol, she is predicted to cost a big amount of money, exceeding her actual demand.  
  
Furthermore, it is not uncommon that advertising only displays the products' good sides, hiding the side-effects. Owning to limited showing time around 1-2 minutes,, it is impossible to clearly present all needed information in advertising. Shoppers, hence, fail to obtain full and necessary product knowledge. Besides, advertising main purpose is to sell goods which is misunderstood by many people who think advertising is helpful in providing information or shopping easily. If all advertising ensures the product quality, which one should buyer choose?  
  
All in all, advertising confuses consumers between what they need and what they want. Using skillful methods such as exaggeration, celebrities' influence, and missing complete source of information, buyers who rely too much on advertising, are unable to choose their suitable products. Rather than trusting commercial ads, shoppers is advised to consider more on previous users' reviews.
Mai, the score for this essay will be a 4 due to the way that your discussion was partially diverging from the given discussion assignment. This is an emotional opinion essay as indicated by the following instruction:  
  
*To what extend do you agree or disagree?*  
  
Review your prompt paraphrase and you will notice that you did not deliver an extent response. Instead, you provided the following as your prompt instruction restatement:  
  
*As far as I concern, consumers usually buy more than they need due to advertising effects.*  
  
This response on your end created a prompt diversion. You created your own thesis statement to discuss rather than discussing the essay based upon the required opinion extent reaction. Therefore, your response, based upon what I read in the short body of paragraphs came across as only partially correct. While your reasoning is applicable, it is also very little developed.  
  
You are focusing too much on delivering several pieces of sectional information per paragraph within the essay instead of developing your reasoning. Proving that you are able to provide understandable reasons for your opinions is the whole point of your essay. You could have just one reason, developed over 3 paragraphs in explanation and come across with a high scoring essay. It is not the number of reasons but the quality of the reason's defense that matters in this essay. In that instance, you fell extremely short of that requirement so your TA and C&C scoring considerations will be devalued greatly in the final score.  
  
Another reason for the failure of this essay, aside from improper punctuation use (you have two successive commas when only one is required), is the lack of a concluding statement. You have an opening statement, 3 body paragraphs, but no summation to indicate the end of the discussion, creating a 5 paragraph essay. It is based upon these reasons that I do not believe this is the type of work that can get a score higher than what I indicated above.
*People attend college or university for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge). Why do you think people attend college or university? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.*  
  
## higher education - for whom and what for?

  
  
People may choose to pursue higher education for multiple reasons. For starters, higher education provides a way to learn more skills, and acquire new knowledge. Moreover, studying in college or university allows you to interact with people from different background but with similar interests. It broadens your mind and helps you set up your own professional network. Additionally, having graduated from a renowned school enhances you credibility when applying for a job. Below are some examples to illustrate these reasons.  
  
Colleges and universities consist of a wide range of different departments, each provides a path to professional knowledge in a certain field. Students are able to learn the most updated theory, information, paradigms and approaches through lecture, presentation, group discussion, and many other ways. It is more cost effective and efficient than looking for all the answers by yourself. Also, some great ideas may emerge during this process. Schools that are vocational-oriented may focus on helping students acquire skills for specific jobs. That is also very efficient compared to learning job skills by yourself.  
  
Studying with classmates, schoolmates, professors, instructors, teaching assistants...are more beneficial than studying alone because you can gain different insights through interpersonal interaction. You may have to communicate, explain, go on the stage and present, and listen actively to what other people say. These interactions will all help you with a more flexible and broadened mind. People you meet in college or university, may become your business partner or lifelong friends in the future.  
  
Apart from learning new skills and interpersonal interaction, when applying for jobs, one can demonstrate their credibility quickly and easily by presenting a copy of graduation certificate from an accredited college or university. The employer and other related parties will not need to worry about checking each candidate's background as much with this certificate. It shortens the amount of time needed to screen candidates and gives a rough idea of the educational background of a potential future employee. Given the above reasons and examples, people choose to attend colleges and universities my be because of learning opportunities, professional networking, and social credibility.
Qin, I am afraid that because you wrote more than 300 words, that you are not leaving yourself with enough time to truly write a meaningful essay for scoring considerations. You will already get a chance to gain the maximum possible score for a 300 word essay within 15-20 minutes. You need to make sure that you leave enough time for you to review your essay. It is more important to write a clear and understandable essay than it is to write a extremely long and wordy essay. Wordiness has drawbacks in terms of keeping the focus of your essay on topic. Sometimes, in an effort to prove the extent of your English vocabulary, you end up just typing for the heck of it, regardless of the relevance of the words you are using in terms of the given discussion. That is vocabulary trap you can avoid if you focus on writing up to 300 words only.  
  
Your essay is well developed. I will admit that the grammar needs work in some sections so running this essay through an online proofreader should help you learn how to address the word usage issues in your essay. Overall, it is a strong discussion that follows a logical thought process. You can improve the transition sentences to include keywords that would help describe the topic of the next discussion. For example, "... job skills by yourself. The presence of friends, other students and teachers help prepare a person for an office interactive environment."  
  
Save for these concerns, I would say with confidence that you have a very good chance of getting a higher than average score in your TOEFL test. Keep practicing and good luck!