dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
Jennifer Golbeck is a computer scientist who shares her super exciting research regarding to the rise numbers of social media and social network users. Most people around the globe consider that Facebook is much more interactive place to interact with others. The data has shown that Facebook has 1,2 billion users per month so about half of this earth's internet population is using Facebook.it is a networking site which allows people to get along with others and sending huge amounts of personal data online, thus, the result the computer scientist like Jennifer has hundreds of millions people's behavioral preference and demographic data which are able to build models that can predict all sorts of hidden people's personality that they even don't realize. Then, she described her favorite research which is published this year. In the proceeding of the national academies, she can predict all these attributes by looking at people's Facebook "like". In her study, she listed the five "likes" that were most indicative of high intelligence and among those was liking a page for CURLY FRIES. It must be delicious, however, liking them doesn't mean just leading a feeling appetite, but also is able to show how intelligence they are. At the last of her performance, she stated that her goal is not to figure out information about users, it's to improve the way people interact online.
Hello iedha ...  
You have done great job, these following corrections are addressed to you :  
  
... scientist who shares her ~~super~~ exciting research (exciting means super ) regarding to the rise number~~s~~ of social media and ~~social~~ network users (among these three conjungtion including and/but/or should be followed by the same structure word ).  
  
... Facebook is much more interactive ~~place~~ site to interact with others. The data (plural noun form or datum ) ~~has~~ have shown that ~~Facebook~~ it (avoid repetition by changing pronous ) has 1,2 billion users (...) of this earth's ~~internet~~ population is using Facebook.  
  
Thanks  
I hoppefuly it is useful  
Best Regard  
ifan
Hello Iedha, Here some inputs for your writing.  
  
per month ~~so~~*in other words* about half of this earth's ...  
~~and sending~~*by send* huge amounts of ...  
the result the computer scientist like Jennifer has hundreds ...*This sentence too ambiguous, not explaining well. Better if you can change it to **Ms. Golbeck has released demographic data which contain millions people's behavioral preference that can be used to build models which able to predict all sorts of hidden people's personality.***  
  
~~Then,~~*Moreover,*she described her favorite research [...] looking at people's Facebook "like".*not coherence, not understanble*  
  
**Good luck!**
....... regarding to the ~~rise~~rising numbers of social media and social network users  
... the globe consider that Facebook is A much more interactive ~~place~~site/website/media to interact with others  
  
however, the flow is hard to follow here  
  
Most people around the globe consider ...  
you may need to say : as an illustration, most people around the world.....  
  
The data ~~has~~have shown that Facebook has new 1,2 billion users per month so (...) population is using ~~Facebook~~it  
  
... data online, thus, as the result ~~the~~acomputer scientist like Jennifer ...**too complex. consist of 6 finite verbs. you may need to simplify it.**  
  
..... by looking at ~~people's~~user*[try to use certain strong word that really related to specific issue just like write 'user' instead of 'people' in writing about tech]* Facebook "like". I  
  
**at all, you are well skilled on composing sentences. however, there are many spaces for improvement and revision here in order to enhance your writing completely. good luck**
Brad Pitt, a famed Hollywood celebrity, has decided to focus on his current "family situation" instead of attending the premiere of his latest movie, Voyage of Time. Through his second press conference, after Angelina Jolie filed for divorce, according to People magazine, he stated "I'm very grateful to be part of such a fascinating and educational project, but I'm currently focused on my family situation and don't want to distract attention away from this extraordinary film, which I encourage everyone to see."  
  
Jolie registered for divorce from Pitt on 19th September 2016, she has claimed "irreconcilable differences" as the reason of the divorce. Since then, it has been revealed that this outstanding couple had officially separated on 15th September 2016. Both, Jolie and Pitt take this matter gravely and will not let their children down or get involved in that complicated situation.
Hi Fitri,  
  
Very interesting article, here's some feedback from me.  
  
a famed Hollywood celebrity( consider to replace it with : well-known or A-list)  
  
he stated "I'm very grateful to be part ... ( could be much more interesting to change into indirect speech)  
  
Overall, the article that you choose it too short, try to pick longer articles next time :)  
  
All the best for your writing progress!
his current "family situation" instead  
*it is fine you took that phrase from the direct quotation, but for your enhance your lexical resource you may change it and look for another appropriate synonims*  
  
"I'm very grateful to be part of such a fascinating and educational project, but I'm currently focused on my family situation and don't want to distract attention away from this extraordinary film, which I encourage everyone to see.  
  
*it is true that the article you summarized is too short. the fact that nearly half of your writing is a quotation made it imbalance. you need to show much more effort by taking the complicated or advanced article rather than very light material like this next time*  
  
Jolie registered for divorce from Pitt on 19th September 2016  
but  
  
had officially separated on 15th September 2016.  
contradicted information  
  
**force your self to beyond your limit. i know that you have shown a good performance on your recent writings, so please give us better and longer summary next time**
Cutting-edge technology has been appiled for many perspective nowadays, particularly Computer-based working. Many convenient spesific sofwares embed and lounced to improve productivity. Architechture approach is one of common acccupations that use computer to elevate the productivity. Therefore, architecture researches have been persuing to develop and designed sophisticated softwere based on technique or requirement.  
  
Recent progrmas which are being used have several problems regarding on picture display, one of those is rather stark picture sresult which is not suitable for brochure. According to Simon Schofield, a researcher at the Martin Centre for Architectural and Urban Studies at Cambridge, he explained that 'Architects hate presenting too 'real' an image to clients early on, because it suggests they have already made decisions.' an implementation of it, now he create a form of 'computerised brass rubbing' which is developed in order to change the skets into impressionist painting. It improve the quality display and provide architect many features. as result, the result become more attractive and more gergously intresting.
Hi Ifan  
Let me give you some advice...  
  
Cutting-edge technology has been ~~appiled~~(applied) for many perspective (perspectives) nowadays, ...  
Many convenient ~~spesific~~ (specific) ~~sofwares~~ (softwares) embed and lounced(launched) to improve productivity.(the) Architechture approach is one of common acccupations(occupations) that use computer to ...  
  
Therefore, architecture ~~researches~~ (researchers) have been ~~persuing~~~~(pursuing)~~ to develop and designed s...  
  
... more attractive and more ~~gergously~~(gorgeously) intresting.  
  
Many misspell word  
You should double checked your summary  
Thank you...
Cutting-edge technology has been ~~appiled~~applied for many ~~perspective~~purposes nowadays, particularly on computer-based working.  
  
~~Many~~a great number ofcertain convenient software embed and lAunced to improve productivity.  
  
Therefore, ~~architecture~~its researches have been pUrsuing to develop and design~~ed~~ sophisticated softwere based on specific technique or requirement.  
  
Recent progrmas which are being used (...) rather stark picture sresult which is not ...  
misspelling  
  
'Architects hate presenting too 'real' an image to clients early ...  
  
**too many minor errors here. it might not change the meaning or ruin the readers understanding, but still it reduce the quality of your work. need to eliminate this kind of error for sure**
Language ability consists of two divisions, namely Active and Passive part. Speaking and Writing belong to the Active part while Listening and Reading belong to the Passive part. Those who are bilinguals have balanced skills, thus most bilinguals around the globe, know and utilize their languages in varying proportion, depending on their circumstances. Having an easier time when traveling, watching movies without subtitle, having healthier brain are several benefits of being a bilingual or multilingual.  
  
Bilinguals can be classified into three general types. Firstly, Compound Bilinguals, those who develop two linguistic codes simultaneously. Meaning that acquiring and using two languages naturally due to the environment condition. A kid who migrates from one country to another country then acquires both languages of those nations. Coordinate Bilingual is the second type. Those in this type, work with two concepts of language. For instance, they use English in the school but utilize Spanish to speak with friends and at home. The last type is Subordinate Bilingual. The people that categorize into this type are mostly the elderly who have already acquired their first language. They tend to apply the second language by filtering it to their primary language.  
  
Related to those previous conditions, a critical period hypothesis states that children are easier to acquire languages due to the plasticity of their developing brain. This research also highlights that learning multiple language is good to avoid Alzheimer and Dementia. Bilingualism might not be able to make people smarter, but makes brain healthier, complex and actively engaged.
Hello Fitri12  
I have some advice to you, please pay attention if you wish  
  
Those ~~who~~ are bilinguals have balanced skills...  
**.... i think you not should use *conj* into your sentence**  
  
have balanced skills, thus most bilinguals around the globe, know and utilize their languages ...  
**.......because you used *balanced*, by me, you should use *knew* and *utilized***
Speaking and Writing belong to the Active part while Listening and Reading belong to the ~~Passive part.~~other one*[avoid writing the same words/phrases several time. indeed, there many ways you can vary your writing style to enhance your lexical resources]*  
  
..., thus most ~~bilinguals~~of them around the globe,  
  
Firstly, Compound Bilinguals, those who develop two linguistic ... =firstly, compound bilinguals is a term for those who develop......  
  
Meaning that acquiring and using two languages ...  
incomplete sentence grammatically , you may need to say: it means that they acquire and use two languages......  
or meaning that acquiring and using two languages naturally, they have developed through the surrounding environment condition  
  
Meaning that acquiring and ... A kid who migrates from one country to ...  
*the flow is hard here.. you need to emphasize or write it well so that readers will easily understand that those two sentences are still about the compound Bilinguals*  
  
**at all, you need to revise your work realizing that there many spaces for improvement there. for now on, you need to more concern on the coherence of your sentences.**
**TED Summary- How to speak so that people want to listen**  
  
The human voice is the most powerful sounds in the world. How to speak powerfully to make changes in the world. There are number of habits that we can avoid. First gossiping, speaking about the others flaw. Second, judging, people who judge the others is hard to be heard. Third, negativity, someone who had negative thinking will be hard to be listened. Forth, Complaining, people who always complaining cannot look for good reasons in their life. Fifth, Excusing, they are blaming on everything, put the responsibility to another people and then take the rest. Sixth, lying, people do not want to hear to something untruth. Seventh, dogmatism, it is difficult to be heard. The thing we could do to be more powerful to speak is to greet or acclaim enthusiastically. First, Honesty, being true and clear. Authenticity, just be yourself and standing in your own way. Integrity, being what you said. Love, wish them well, you will be hard to judge other people.  
  
Lower your voices which mean you can associate powerful. Timbre, The way your voice feels like smooth and warm, you can practice making your voice comfortable to be heard. Prosody, root one for a conversation, makes a conversation more colorful and sometimes makes some divergent meaning. Pace, affect the speed of understanding. Pitch, attract people concern to you. Volume, some people ascend or descend their voices to pay attention. Be a powerful speaker and get convince listener, means creating and receiving.
Hi Faiz  
Let me give you some advice....  
  
There are (a) number of habits ...  
... negative thinking will be hard to ~~be~~ listened.  
The thing we could do to be more powerful ~~to speak~~(speech) is to greet or acclaim enthusiastically.  
Authenticity, ~~just~~ be yourself and standing in ...  
  
... makes a conversation more ~~colorful~~(colourful) and sometimes ~~makes~~ (make) some divergent meaning.  
  
Thank you...
Hi fauziyahtami,  
I hope you are doing good. You have a good summary, let me give you some suggestions.  
How to speak powerfully to make changes in the world. is it a question or a title?  
number of habits that we can avoid suggestion ' there are several bad habits of human being. (this is the main topic)  
Your summary already used logical order however, you probably need to use other types of logical order such as primarily, first of all, next, initially etc.  
  
First gossiping, speaking about the others flaw. --> First and foremost, gossiping is that individuals tend to spread other flaws without the real fact. (this is just suggestion)  
  
The thing we could do to be more powerful to speak is to greet or acclaim enthusiastically. --> on the other hand, there are a considerable number of aspects to present a powerful speaking  
  
Just all from me, Good luck for your next assignments/tests  
Cheers
**How to Fix the Broken Education without More Money (TED Summary)**  
  
People usually have mindset that it is almost impossible to change the corrupt government. Seema Bassal from India will dispute that perceptions which followed by the unbelievable example. She explained about how heartbreaking education system condition in a state in India, Hariyana, which has 15,000 public schools with 2 millions student and her journey with her team to transform it. The story was started from their struggles to find the best solution. Actually, they already have a great deal of ideas, on the other hand, they must put more effort to discover a concept that could be applied to the whole schools. They decided to determine about Hariayana's education goal and then several idea that supported to achieve the purpose were picked. They figured that broken education might be formed by malfunction of the teacher roles. The important things from teacher roles are to educate the students. Because of the limited budget, they should look for a solution that could be used to all of the school. Finally they found an alternative solution when one of the team member saw a teacher whom used learning object from around the school. On a big scale, they implemented textbook that had guideline to make an interesting lesson so the learning activity was about all of the things in school environment. Nowadays, education in Hariyana is better than in the past and teacher do their jobs as an educator for student even the teacher has a communication group using social media.
Hello Sari Trisna  
I have some advice to you, pay attention if you wish  
  
People usually have mindset that it~~is~~ almost impossible to change the corrupt government.  
**....because pronoun (it) mentioned to people, i think you should use plural verb (are)**  
  
which has 15,000 public schools with 2 million~~s~~ student(s)  
**.... million have to without s**  
  
then several idea(s) that supported to achieve the purpose  
  
an alternative solution when one of the team member(s) saw a teacher
Hello  
You have a good summary  
I have some corrections  
  
People usually have ~~mindset~~ idea that it is almost impossible ...  
... with 2 millions student and ~~her~~ journey with her ...  
... a great deal of ideas, ~~on the other hand~~ that, they must put more ...  
**On the other hand,** they decided to determine (...) and the~~n~~ several idea (...) achieve the purpose *were picked*.  
~~Because~~ However, **it is because** of the limited budget, they should ...  
Finally**,** they found an alternative solution ...  
... to make an interesting lesson**,** so the learning activity ...  
  
You have to explain more detail in the line six and added introduction in the first paragraph.
**Ted How I read a book every day**  
  
When the first time I read the title of this speech, I am curious to listen directly. In my mind, I imagine how the busy people always working are able to read a book every day. Some people probably consider that reading book is the difficult activity because the common reason is that it needs plenty of time. According to the speaker-his names is TaiLopez from New York USA, "most people living on the earth spent their time without a book". He also told his experience when he was child that his grandfather always invited him to go to the library. For him, the book was a friend and could be encountered every time".  
  
Commonly, people point out the question does the reading a book bring advantages? It is certainly sure when reading a book someone will not gain the benefit directly. Furthermore, reading is a need that it is same as when people need something to eat. On the other word, we can properly say that reading like eating that requires a mutual habit. Without reading habit, it will be impossible to convenience that it is important.  
  
Based on Tailopez's argument, he said that no much time was one of the reasons for someone why they did not provide their golden time to read. I totally agree that reading habit is not always determined by whether people have time or not, but it is about an intention. In the same time, it is also related whether people can endeavor to buy the books or not, but it depends on that their consideration about books is necessary or not.  
  
The most interesting statement of Tailopez's was that people were not easy to find the mentors guiding them every day. He gave the brilliant example that the great people such Mohandas K Ghandi from India, George Washington from USA, or Nelson Mandela from Africa were good persons difficult to get right now. Therefore, to replace them, Tailopez suggested people change them by reading a book every day because according to him, a book was the the most loyal friend to bring and encounter every time and everywhere.  
  
Related to TaiLopez's assumption, In my perspective, a book is the absolute heritage. I remember when I read the novel written by Jostein Garder under the title "The Magic Library". One of the actors is named Nils. He said that " a book is a means to connect the generation living today with the generation who will live for thousand years later". It is the nice cite we can learn how important the book is. As conclusion, I dare state that a book is valuable heritage which must be maintained its existence.
Hi arisandy14,after reading your summary, i have some suggestions, perhaps useful for you.  
1.... always invited him to ~~go to~~ the library.----> went to (past tense)  
2.~~Based on Tailopez's argument, he said~~ that no much time was one of the reasons ...----> He argued (better make this simple)  
3.... title of this speech, I ~~am~~ curious to listen directly.----> When the first time I read the title of this speech, I was curious to listen directly.
Hi Arisandy,  
You already have a good summary however, summary is the main point from the speaker perspective not from your perspective. Probably it will be better if you avoid to use 'I'. (you need to straight to the point, many words are good but you need to narrow your idea)  
  
is are  
a book was the the most loyal friend to bring and encounter every time and everywhere. I think it is not past tense but present tense.personswere ( singular/plural)  
  
~~always working~~  
I hope those suggestions are useful to improve your summary  
cheers
A new report is released by the World Health Organization (WHO), more than 90% of the world's population areas are contaminated with pollution within unsafe stage. As the result, in 2012 there is more than 6 million people died due to illness related to air pollution. In some countries, such as Africa, Asia and the Middle East, found that are getting worst pollution. This matter continues to increase in line with economic, industrial growth and rise of car ownership. It also has impact for low and middle-income countries, where there is 90% of global death occurred. However, not every countries that have high-income are free from this problem. Around 15% of cities in the America and more than 60% of cities in Europe do not meet the WHO standards. On the other hand, scientist also found that air pollution able to affect everything that related with pregnancy to brain functions.
A baby who has three biological parents was born in the world. Although the practice was known as controversial technique, doctors from U.S team based in Mexico applied genetic mutation to born a healthy baby.  
  
Shaban, the baby's mother, carries gens for Leigh syndrome as genetic disorder. Her first two children could not be saved from birth because of Leigh syndrome even though the mother was healthy. So she decided to get help from the New Hope Fertility Center in New York.  
  
The doctors at the institution advised to do 'spindle nuclear transfer. Shaban's egg was removed and inserted it into a donor egg which had had its nucleus removed. Then the egg was fertilized with her couple. Nine months later, the baby was born since it was implanted in Shaban's womb. When the baby's mitochondria were tested, the result showed that less than 1% Leigh syndrome was found.  
  
Since the baby grew up, the doctors always monitor the baby to make sure that the levels of the Leigh syndrome remain as low.
Hello Ucha,  
  
Although the practice was known as controversial... [be carefull in your collocation]  
May you change the sentence: the baby was born by using a controversial technique which the doctor team applied a genetic mutation....  
  
... the baby was born since ~~it was~~ he or she implanted ...  
  
When the baby's mitochondria ~~were~~ are tested,as the result showed that it less than 1% Leigh ...  
  
hope these help