dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
Kindly specify if you are reviewing for the IELTS test or just general English language writing to receive more appropriate observations of your work next time.Different reviews and advice apply to specific English language writing tasks.I want to be sure that I am I you an applicable review at all times. I'll use the IELTS task 2 remer - criteria for now as it appears to be applicable to your written task.  
  
There is a minimum 250 wordcount for the task 2 essay. As this essay contains merely 220 words, word count percentage deductions will apply to the T A. section before any other deductions are applied to that test portion. This may result in a failing score for the most part of that section.. In which case, it may become difficult for you to recover enough scores in the other scoring aspects to overcome all the remaining presentation failures for you to geta passing score.  
  
Your opening sentence is difficult to follow due to your run-on sentence. For clarity purposes, avoid presenting 2 ideas in one sentence. Use 2 sentences to represent 2 ideas to give a coherent restatement of the original presentation. This lack of clear explanation affected 3 scoring rubics: T.A., C and C, plus G R A. penalties will be applied across all 3 sections. Your preference for the use of run - on sentences are prevalent throughout the presentation paragraphs, making this the main problem and second highest source of scoring deductions in your essay. There also inconsistencies with your punctuation mark Usage. One sentence lacks a period at the end.  
  
These observations indicate a high likelihood of your being unable to garner enough positive scores to be able to pass the test. Try to focus on presentation clarity and G RA adherence next time to increase your score. Don't rush your thought development too much. The clearer your explanations, the better developed your examples and opinions, the higher your scoring potential.
## production of ethanol fuel from corn

  
  
The diagram describe various stages in the production of ethanol fuel from corn. The process consists of eight main steps beginning with the corn stored and finishing with transporting.  
  
At the beginning of the process corn after carefully harvested, it is put into storage. After this is taken to mill, adding the water is required during the corn milling process, the milling productions cooked in 4 hours. At the next step of the process, it is fermented within 2 days then separated to liquid and solid by-product. The liquid is used in this process of making ethanol fuel and solid by-product part is used for another purpose. The progress continues with the liquid part which is purified ethanol into 5 hours. After this has been done, the produce is stored and then it is transported, products are distributed to retailers and consumers, which marks the final stage of the process.
Complete your image reference in relation to the diagram.There are several types of diagrams you could have referred to. Properly identifying the diagram in relation to the report would help show an increased English vocabulary, allowing for a better LR score. Remember that you are writing for a specific academic audience sothe use advanced academic words will be helpful to your score.  
  
The task 1 essay requires a minimum of 3 paragraphs. While you have met the 150 minimum word requirement in this presentation, the presentation format is incorrect due to the required 3 paragraph presentation. This is an error that will affect the T A score. Now, due tothe lack of image in your presentation, I cannot advance with reviewing your essay. The image is a necessary tool for me to completely review your work and offer relevant observations and advice. Kindly remember to provide the image next time . That is, if you wish to receive further advice and corrections from me.
can you guys tell me how many scores i can have if this is a real ielts test?  
  
## number of students analysis

  
  
As can be seen from the chart, there were huge differences between male and female, part-time and full-time education.  
The disparity between two kinds of education remained unchanged through time. The number of people who chosen part-time education was much bigger than those picked full-time education.  
  
Despite the unchanged sort of education, there were more and more women attending further education. From 1970 to 1990, the number of females who joined both kinds of education rose sharply. In 1990, there were even more women studying further education than men.  
  
The number of men joining part-time education dropped in 1980, then slightly rose in 1990. After the 1970s, more males tended to choose full-time courses.  
In general, it can be said that in the period of 1970 to 1990, females tended to study further education than they used to be, while the number of males attending classes remained constant or declined
It is difficult for me to judge the accuracy of your report or the relevance of your tone in relation to the target audience due to the missing instructions and lack of image reference. You cannot receive a complete renew due tothese missing elements.However, & shall they to review your work as best as I can.  
  
The summary overview does not deliver an accurate representation of the original presentation. What kind of chart was shown? What is the title of the chart ? How is it relevant to the highlightable information ? What is the overall purpose of the presentation ? These are presented in a confusing manner in the first paragraph . There is a lack of clarity in the presentation. You appear to have rushed through the writing of that draft, failing to edit it for clear information presentation in the end.  
  
Though you did your best to directly present the obvious information in the presentation,the lack of information analysis based on the data you found shows a lack of proper data cause and effect study in the report . More comparisons and extended discussions would have resulted in a longer essay, focused on data analysis and allowing for higher overall scoring possibilities. Never write just the minimum word count.Try to deliver at least 175 words to earn better presentation possibilities and higher sectional scoring considerations.  
  
\* Limited review presentation. Contact me privately for scoring analysis.
## enquiries received by the Tourist Information Office

  
  
The given graph illustrates how many enquiries received in three different ways (person, letter/email, and telephone) in the TI Office, over the course of six months in 2011.  
  
Overall, it is clear that the enquiries received by person and letter witnessed a high increase from January to June in 2011, while those by letter/email fell gradually in the same period. The line which figures for person raises from the lowest point (compared to another in Jun) to the highest point after six months.  
  
In January 2011, The highest number of enquiries was recorded for telephone, at nearly 900, while those in person only standed at the lowest point (400 enquiries). The following months saw a significant rise in the proportion of requires in-person to its peak of over 1800 and substantial fluctuation in the figure for those by telephone between 800 to 1600.  
  
On the other hand, the number of inquiries received by letter/email standing the second point in January at under 800, undergoes a slight decrease estimatedly 100 in March. Throughout the remainder of the period given, there was a sharp drop in the proportion of letter/email, at under 400 in June, which decrease a half compared with those in January.  
  
*   
*the number of enquiries received by the Tourist Information Office in one city over a six-month*
It appears that you have written too many words for this essay based an the time allotment of 20 minutes.It appears that this is only a draft copy rather than an edited, final presentation.This should not have more than 175 - 190 words in it when you factor in editing time and proofreading into the 20 minute time allowance.The reference to the line assessment could use clarity in the explanation as it is a bit confusing to follow for an ENL . Where does the comparison start ?  
  
I am not sure where you got the 2011 reference year.It wasn't stated in the image. I hope that information was truly included in the image as inclusion of inaccurate data can affect certain scoring sections.  
  
This is an acceptable draft that required grammar corrections and sentence editing in some parts for clarity. Final editing was required prior to submission.
## the promotion of economy

  
  
A faction of the society claims that promoting economy should be government's prioritized task. I disagree with this view because I believe that government should put more effort into enhancing social services such as education and healthcare.  
  
The chief drawback of putting the entire impetus on developing economy is that it shall lead to a significant gap between wealthiness and poverty, in which upper-class citizens gain benefits while people in lower-class gain nothing. Economic promotion is associated with valuable investment opportunities that only business tycoons can afford as they are available with colossal fund access. Whereas it does not help people from low social strata escape poverty. For example, in Russia, economic development outweighs any other aspects of society that satisfy politicians and the upper strata. However, their citizens are impoverished and disadvantaged in many ways, leading them to participate in various demonstrations and rallies that clearly depict the government's apathy.  
  
In contrast, a government that proactively steps to raise the quality of education and healthcare system shall enhance the living standard of the citizen in general. The countries who put efforts in ensuring a higher quality of life for their people turn out to be a more robust economy in the long run because the return-on-investment as healthier people, knowledgable youngsters, and highly skillful workers outweigh the cost invested in the improvement. A befitting example of the case is Japan, as the government emphasizes improving social services such as education and healthcare instead of the economy. This has led to a society with educated minds taking the companies to even more economic heights.  
  
In conclusion, I agree entirely that public health and education services should be prioritized as they are the driving factors of a long-term solid economy.
Your prompt restatement is incomplete as it represents only 1 of the 2 original discussion points. This removes the accuracy of your paraphrased presentation . The T A score is always based on the accuracy of your interpretation of the topic and provided public discussion points. There are always 2 public discussion topics provided.Both must be included in your representation statement prior to your opinion thesis statement that responds to the direct question. The discussion asked you which statement you agree with not which you disagree with.so the thesis statement is now incorrect.The single opinion in response to the - question should never be in the summary paragraph as you will fail to fully develop the supporting reasons then. Remember,always give a clear opinion in response then follow up with supporting reasons. Use the provided response format:  
  
I completely agree that... due to specific reasons.These reasons are ...  
  
Do not use a contrasting presentation since this a single opinion essay. How do you know it is a single opinion essay ? Look at the discussion content instructions :  
  
Explain and provide examples to support your opinion.  
  
That is the sentence that sets the tone for the 2 discussion paragraphs.all you have to do is use the indicated discussion format.
## fossil fuel and environment

  
  
it's common belief that the combustion of fossil fuel renders the degradation of environmental quality .This carbon- extensive energy should be changed into alternative sources.however, many people claim that fossil fuel plays an integral role to our life. In my school of thought , utilizing other energies will have both the pros and cons which are worth being considered.  
  
on the one hand, while it is a topic of general interest,it has several outstanding disadvantages .first, alternative sources of energy will be extremely expensive for the underprivileged to use. Only developed countries can buy and provide it for their native people.Second, it can be an unsustainable sources of energy and it's unable to satisfy the demand of all developing countries.Finally, using substitute energy can be considered for another goals.  
  
On the other hand, the benefits of this issue are very various.Firstly, there are a wide range of massive exhaust emissions from the burning of fossil fuel for manufacturing have catastrophically exacerbated air pollutionand if the government encourages people to use alternative energy,it will be environmentally eco- friendly to our breath.secondly,sustainable sources of energy have low of carbon footprint compared o fossil fuel,and in this case of environmental pollution have become more and more alarmingly contaminated .Therefore, it is a wise choice to use different energy.  
  
In conclusion, I firmly belive that the positive effect of utilizing substitute sources of energy outweighed the disadvantages
This essay is not going to achieve a passing score in an actual test. That is because the TA score will receive a severe percentage penalty for not having met the minimum word requirements. You have written 233 words for a 250 word minimum essay. Normally, when the TA score receives the word penalty at the very start, it becomes extremely difficult for the exam taker to make up the score in the succeeding sections due to additional penalties as found within the presentation.  
  
Then there is the problem of your failure to properly fomat the paper based on the given discussion requirement. The presentation was supposed to be of an extent essay based on the question: To what extent do you think this is a positive or negative development? Additional deductions will be provided by your improper sentence formatting. You failed to capitalize the first letter of every new sentence in at least 2 paragraphs. This will result in direct deductions to your TA score.  
  
Overall, the improper paragraph structuring, lack of proper grammar usage, and the less than minimum word count will all combine to result in a final failing score for this type of presentation.
## international language

  
  
It is undeniable that there are several divergent languages around the world, thereby discouraging people from different regions or cultures to communicate with each other. To overcome this obstacle, some suggestions that we should create a new language which will be used as an "international language" among people who come from different areas. However, it is not an appreciable idea to bring the world into one platform due to the fact that few people would recognize it as well as waste time on developing this worldwide language.  
  
First of all, a brand new language would not be eager by many people since it would be artificial and not related to any culture. In addition, learning a new international language would take a lot of time including the grammar and the vocabulary of this language.  
  
Secondly, promoting a new language requires financial support and a vast amount of time to complete tasks. For instance, in some countries such as China and India, plenty of languages are being used because it is financially unrealistic to teach everyone in poor areas one language. Although this might be achieved finally, it will take as long as a hundred years or even more.  
  
It is wholly true that the new language will become their priority to have higher education and better jobs that enhance the human life's standard. However, we all know that variety is the spice of life and language is related to culture. So, if we have one language spoken in the whole world, then it would be a dreary and dismal place to live in.  
  
In conclusion, although there would be benefits such as easy trade and travel, inventing a new language for international communication is not a good idea because of the various reasons given above. In my opinion, it is totally a waste of time and financial budget to make a new language due to the fact that its advantages cannot outweigh its disadvantages.
Do not alter the original theme of the discussion. The first paragraph of the task 2 essay always portrays your understanding and rendition of the original presentation. That paragraph should highlight your English comprehension skills only, it is not the part of the presentation where your reasoning discussion starts. As such, it should not contain any reference to a proven opinion, as you did in the first sentence. Such information is seen as altering the original presentation content and discussion intention. In the 1st paragraph you failed to directly respond to the question posed as well. That direct response would have set the tone for your discuss prior to the reasoning sentence topic presents. While the paraphrase was not off to a great start, it did show your comprehensive skills in relation to the discuss required. Next time avoid over statements and try to respond to the direct question before giving your thesis statement.  
  
You also have a tendency to not fully develop your explanations in relation to one another. This occured in the 2nd paragraph where you stated 2 topic sentences, without fully providing reasons and related examples. This paragraph would have also lowered your c&c score because of the missing discussion development. By the way, this is only a 4 paragraphs essay, not 5 paragraphs. The original prompt clearly stated a 2 paragraph reasoning presentation. You would have garnered a higher score if you focused on the explanation development of 2 separate reasons when compared to several discussion paragraphs that fail to meet scoring requirements.
## Letter of complaint

  
  
Dear Sir/Madam,  
I am Alisha, writing this letter to notify you of the problem I am having with the HD smart TV that I purchased from your E-commerce website on April 28th, 2021. It was just fine in the first few hours of usage, but it started acting strangely, and I am hoping you would assign someone to check it.  
  
In relation to the specifics of the order, it includes a 72-inch Samsung Smart HD television. The order was made on April 28th, 2021, using my Visa credit card under code #301095134 and delivered to me three days after by TED Express Service. I am attaching a copy of my receipt.  
  
Upon the device's arrival, it worked smoothly. However, after a few hours of installment, a thin dark line appears on the screen and it goes away after a while. This emerges every time I start the TV. The TV's sound was superb initially, but it sounds strange now. People's voice has become robotic and there is nothing to do with sound-settings.  
  
Unfortunately, I can not bring the TV to your store for mechanic examination because the location is pretty far from my house and my car is repaired. Therefore, I would like to request you to assign someone to my place and have the television checked. Afterwards, please provide me with a new one of the same model and make sure this one has no issue.  
  
Thank you for giving the matter your attention and I hope to hear your reply soon.  
Yours faithfully,  
Alisha Marie
E-commerce website  
What is the name of the online store you bought the TV from?  
  
it includes  
If you did not purchase other items together with the TV, then you should not say "it includes" since it is a single item purchase.  
  
using my Visa credit card under code #301095134 and delivered to me three days after by TED Express Service.  
This is unnecessary data with regards to your purchase. Simply indicate your receipt number and that you are attaching a copy of it.  
  
The most common problem throughout your presentation is in reference to lexical resources. Word usage on your part is often incorrect for descriptive terms such as installments rather than hours of use, mechanical repair in reference to technical repair, to name but a few errors in your presentation. These will definitely have a lowering effect on your overall score. Particularly, in the GRA and LR sections. You need to familiarize yourself with English word usage and defintions because, when you use incorrect terms, this causes undue stress for the reader. As such, the affected scoring sections could get a failing score and prevent you from reaching the passing base score in the end.
## urban family structure

  
  
**In many countries today, people in cities either live alone or in small family units, rather than in large family groups. Is this a positive or negative trend?**  
  
It is true that a number of city dwellers are inclined to reside in nuclear family units instead of living with their seniors and refuse to raise a family starting from having children. Additionally, this tendency still perpetuates in many parts of the world. However, I believe that the pervasiveness of this issue confers many societal and personal benefits, albeit some considerable repercussions.  
  
Living in small units could pose threats to current society. Granted, in regard to the escalating demands for private living space, more pressure will be exerted on urban sprawling with land scarcity, thus leading to some unpredencial problems and deteriorating the residents' occupational aspects. There is a possibility that when choosing to live alone, it would result in shrinking habitats such as the reduction of city's green zones including the destruction of pristine environments for housing construction and human's fiscal maintenance. Consequently, nature will have to sacrifice to provide the need for more temporary accommodations and prone to the living cost increase among metropolises. Moreover, the elderly will be able to be left abandoned unless their siblings are with them. This is primarily because the young are more likely to struggle to live rather than the inhumane restriction of nursing homes due to the economic pressure.  
  
On the contrary, catering for the nuclear family should place a significant emphasis on the positive impacts. Given the fact that the trend of living alone is willing to give people a sense of independence and diligence, more inhabitants, especially the students, engage in studying edification and expertises to become more mutual. As a result, there will be a vast majority of people having enough experiences and knowledge, thus contributing impetus to the globalisation and cutting-edge oriented technology, which can be inherited in the society. In terms of personal merits, individuals now are more involved in having self-motivated to excel. Additionally, choosing to live alone is an universally optimal way to know one's critical needs in order to indulge themselves in whatever they have been craving for.  
  
In conclusion, determining to choose which places and categories of living style could have some prominent merits and demerits. However, this trend has more positive or negative impacts depending on how much people are aware of two sides of the issue.