dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
*Some people believe that people who read books can develop more imaginations and language skills than those who prefer to watch TV. To what extent do you agree or disagree?*  
  
## reading and TV watching influence on imagination and language skills

  
  
With the fast-growing rate and the increasing ubiquity of technology, books are replaced by televisions more and more as a way of entertainment. Some suggest that book readers have a higher ability in creativity and linguistic skills than those who watch TV as a hobby. In my opinion, people who read books more definitely are able to develop better imaginations and language skills.  
  
First of all, when people read, they get a direct and excessive access to how words are used, therefore, gradually improve their language. They can see a variety of words and collocations in different contexts which are skillfully used by writers. By interacting with them many times through reading, readers will naturally "absorb" the words, acquiring a better understanding of how words are used in many ways and expanding vocabularies. This is why language learners are advised to read books in the language they learn because it is more natural for them to study vocabularies and how the language works.  
  
Secondly, reading books, especially the fictional ones, can stimulate the readers' imagination effectively. A book's content has no boundaries and it has a special ability to take people to different worlds, even the wildest ones. Thus, their minds can be "more relax" and think out of the box as there is such no thing impossible or irrational in books. In addition, because books hardly have any visual aids or illustrations, readers have to imagine the scenarios and that also helps improve imaginations.  
  
In conclusion, reading assists people in improving language skills and creativity because it gives them lively examples of how words are handled and push them to be more imaginative. Although watching televisions is more convenient and easy to enjoy with visual aids, it still cannot bring value as profound and educational as reading do.
Xuan, I must say that your essay is well organised and good enough to earn an overall score of at least a 6. You were able to use transition words to enhance the cohesiveness of your write-up. I could also establish that while the 2nd paragraph borders on developing language skills through reading books, the 3rd paragraph elaborates the accruing imaginative skills. This shows that you have good understanding of the prompt. However, my only worry is that your introductory paragraph is contrary to my view. Your paraphrase is good but the first sentence in that paragraph did not go well because, apart from wrong choice of words ((...fast-growing rate...and ... increasing ubiquity...), you were almost introducing an idea that is alien to that of the prompt. The idea in the prompt has nothing to do with entertainment even though conventionally it could be gained from reading books or watching television. The first sentence would have immediately related to the prompt paraphrased in the second sentence if it read as: *'With the growing rate of technology or With the increasing rate of technology or With the ubiquity of advanced technology, people's attention is turning towards television as a way of enhancing imaginative and verbal communication skills more than reading books'.*. Then you also were not meant to state an opinion, you were supposed to use an agreeing statement or disagreeing statement to introduce the side where you would pitch your tent in the entire essay. Nevertheless, apart from these few observations, I think you did a good job there.
Hang, the agreement that you have with the opinion should have been indicated in a proper manner in the opening statement. Your discussion of the topic ran counter to the official prompt that was provided because you did not indicate that you agreed with the opinion of the original prompt. Instead, you delivered a straight opinion. Rather than a straight opinion, you should have said "I agree with this opinion up to a certain point and will discuss the reasons why below."  
  
By not accurately paraphrasing the prompt, the end result was a different essay discussion for the topic provided. In which case, you would be scored down considerably in the Task Accuracy portion of the essay. While your discussion did support the stance that you chose for the essay, the misrepresentation in the opening statement discussion type sentence is what affected the ability of this essay to get a higher score.  
  
Additionally, the presentation of additional information as a concluding paragraph will also affect the TA of this essay because, I am sure you have been told this before, new information cannot be discussed in the concluding statement as that is meant to serve the same purpose as the opening statement, only it is placed at the end of the essay to test your English writing and paraphrasing skills.
## tasteful remembrance

  
  
I believe my most unforgettable meal was a welcome dinner I had when I went to Xi'an to join an exchange activity with the students of there during this summer. The reason that I never forgot that meal is all the dishes on the table were covered by a layer of scary red spicy oil on it. Although I can eat something spicy, but every bites of Xi'an cuisine make my mouth felt on fire. The worst is the air condition of the restaurant was broken, and you will never know how hot and how unforgettable to have hot spicy food in a forty-degree weather.
Hi there Wu Mei. What exactly was the prompt or assignment? Your essay is succinct and short, but I think you need to create a story here. Try adding in some more details like how you were feeling during the dinner (were you jet lagged? excited? nervous?), what the table looked like, what the atmosphere was like (noisy, people talking, quiet, etc..). Try thinking about how you felt when you took that first bite. Did you know it was going to be hot? Did you eat it anyway or did you not eat anything? How specifically did you feel? What has your reaction? Did you try to cover it up that your mouth was on fire or did you yell or gulp down a glass of water? You have a good start but you can definitely go further with this! Try to write so that the reader gets a clear picture of the situation.
Jessie as a simple statement that describes a meal that you remember, this essay is sufficient. It delivers all the required elements that describes the meal in a quick manner. It is direct to the point and gives the reader and engaging enough overview that would "hook" his interest. I take it that you were not asked to write a full length essay and instead, you were just asked to provide a statement of an unforgettable meal? If so, then this is a pretty good summary of that event.  
  
Was there a word count limit? From the length and complete details of the statement, not essay that you wrote, then you did a pretty good job. However, you neglected to pay attention to the grammatical rules regarding time continuity. Since this is an event that happened in the past, you need to make sure that all of your references to actions taken are in the past tense form. That way your paragraph becomes coherent to the reader. For a practice statement, this has some negligible flaws. All you have to do is take note of the flaws as provided so that you can remember not to make the same mistake when you practice writing another response statement.
## Summarise the information essay

  
  
Hello, can you check my essay please:  
  
The first chart describe why some people cycling to work, the second one describe why others prefer driving to work.  
  
Therese 2 main reason for way people prefer ride bicycle for 30%, first is health and fitness the second is that a bicycle is less pollution than a car, while 15% of theme prefer bicycle for it parking facility, the other 13% said that bicycle doesn't need any cost and surprisingly the last 12% considered that cycling is faster than driving.  
  
In the other hand, the major reason for driving to work is the comfort for 40%, while 21% of people said that they prefer driving to work because of long distance, the other reason is that a car is faster than a bicycle to 14%, a similar percent said that they need to carry things to work, and lastly 11% considered the driving safer than cycling.  
  
In general the major people prefer driving a car to work its comfort, while the main reason for cycling to work is healthy and environmental.  
  
Thank you.
Maildor, it's really difficult to assess your essay without the prompt as well as the diagram or chart involved. It is usually a good practice to post the chart you are trying to describe alongside your write-up. That way, your essay would received the required review and you would be properly guided. Right now, I can't say anything with regard to your ability to answer to the prompt. However, generally, a good response to an essay of this sort should contain the following:  
  
1. Proper paraphrase of the prompt.  
2. An overview statement that highlights the trend in the chart provided at a glance.  
3. In-depth description of the content of the chart, including contrasting and comparing items where necessary.  
4. A brief concluding statement.
Maildor, I really do not think that the prompt you posted and the supposedly charts are related. However, the charts do actually relate to the response in your essay. Therefore, my review will not address the paraphrase aspect in relation to the real prompt as what you just posted is not the real prompt. I will only create a paraphrase to enhance your ability to understand how to tackle this kind of essay. The first statement in your previous post, the supposedly paraphrase, cannot serve as an introductory paragraph because it lacks an overview statement. Below is a typical example of an introductory paragraph containing a paraphrased (hypothetical) prompt and an overview statement:  
  
*The graphic representations below illustrate the rationale behind employers' choice of cycling to work as well as driving to work. Overall, there are five reasons employers choose to either cycle to work or drive to work. While a good number of employers go to work by cycling due to health and fitness, as well as less pollution compared to other reasons, many individuals take to driving to work for the comfort it offers.*  
  
Notice that having paraphrased the topic question, all I succeeded in doing was highlighting the observable trend in the charts. The were no comments with regard to the exact percentage or proportion the employers that choose either of the means of transportation in discuss. These information would be contained in the next paragraphs. There were two paragraphs before the concluding statement in your essay. It is wrong to use 'in the one hand' in the 2nd second paragraph. If you must use such a transition phrase, the first paragraph should go with 'in the one hand' while the second starts with 'on the other hand'. That way, your essay will have fluidity and it's flow would be appreciated by the reader. Below is an example of how the paragraph following the introductory statement should read:  
  
Observably, in order to promote health and fitness, 30 % of the workers choose cycling to work over driving, whereas another 30 % made similar decision having reduction of pollution in mind. While 12 % of the employers go to work by cycling because it costs nothing, 13 % do the same in hope that cycling is faster that driving. Nevertheless, 15 % of the work force take to cycling due to lack of parking space.  
  
I think you can assess your essay using the examples I have given already. Keep practising with these instances in mind.
## the total use of water in some world places

  
  
The charts below give information about the way in which water used in different countries in 2000.  
  
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.  
  
The two graphs show data on world water use, and the four nations which used it on year 2000 to three different purposes. Overall, the highest water consumption was from agriculture while the lowest was for domestic used.  
  
The amount of the water used in agricultural purpose around the world on 2000 was at 70 %, in china the percentage was slightly low at 69 % and in india was at 92 %, and the amount of water used to domestic and industry only at 5 and 3 percent. However, in canada the highest use of water was from the industry in around 80 % and the water consumption for agricultural only at 8 percent, the case was almost similiar with the new zealand, while the water for agriculture not the biggest percentage because domestic used was 2 % high was about 46 % compared to 44 % for agricultural and 10 percent for industrial purpose.  
  
It also can be clearly seen the total use of water use in china on agricultural and domestic used was almost identically with the total of water consumption in the world with only one percent different on both categories, the china only share the same amount with the world in term of water use for industry.  
  
Please give me advices and IELTS score prediction  
  
*
Perdana, there are a number of problems with your essay that prevent me from giving you an overall score. Rather, I will be giving you a criteria based score for your work. This should also give you an idea as to where your final score might lie. In terms of Task Accuracy, your score falls under the range of 4. This is because your overview summary lacks information about the countries listed that will be discussed in the essay. This creates an incomplete overview and outline of the discussion. Then, your overall comparison paragraph discussed the countries, but did not first introduce the world wide water consumption percentages. That should have been presented as a prior, individual paragraph. You also do not capitalize the names of countries which are proper nouns. So your lexical resource and GRA score would both fall under a 4 as well. However, you did partially well in the cohesiveness and coherence portion where I scored you a 5 at the most. So your final score would probably be around a 4.5 in my opinion.
@R\_Sand03  
Hellow. I'd like to indicate you don't have to write a complicated term of "the water used in agricultural purpose". "Farm water" is enough, as proven by Wikipedia:  
  
**Farm water**, also known as **agricultural water**, is water committed ...  
  
Regarding "water", "volume" is better than "amount", as in "They required a third of the **volume**of water we presently take from rivers".
Here is the website with line graph picture.  
ielts-exam.net/academic\_writing\_samples\_task\_1/809/  
  
## Number of Oregon citizens - historical data

  
  
The line graph shows the population change in three different counties in Oregon State, located in the United States, from 1940 to 2000.  
  
It is noticeable that the population in the three different counties all increased during the period of time. Moreover, Washington owned the most citizens among the three counties and a considerable rice can be seen in Washington population between 1970 and 2000.  
  
In 1940, 75 thousand people lived in Washington, meanwhile, roughly 30 thousand residents and 29 thousand residents were in Yamhill and Columbia respectively. Before 1970, Washington population saw an obvious increase to approximately 121 thousand people. During the same period, the population in Yamhill and Columbia rose steadily, with 45 thousand people and about 31 thousand people respectively in 1970.  
  
By 2000, the figure for Washington population had dramatically grown to approximately 242 thousand people. On the contrast, the other two counties saw steady increase in the population but the figures were both relatively lower than that of Washington.
@CHIHYULIN while I appreciate the url for the graph that you provided, it is a must that you instead upload the image to the site along with your posting because it makes it easier for me to compare the work that you did with the pop-up window of the image itself. It is difficult to be moving from one tab to another while reviewing the image and the essay that you wrote. Please take note of that next time. It is also safer for all computers of all the users of this forum because exterior links are not checked for viruses by our system so we could could lose our computer access in case of an infection. Please do not post a url link in your next essay. Upload the photo instead.  
  
Your overview summary is incomplete. It lacks information about which 3 counties are being used in this line graph study. There was also a lack of indication of the number of population in the Thousands. You will lose points for that. The overview should be at least 3 sentences long. It should be compressed into a singular paragraph as you did in this instance. If you had properly represented the information from the graph, then you would have had a more complete summary overview for the opening statement and scored higher.  
  
The second paragraph is short by one sentence of the minimum requirement. You still failed to mention the other 2 states that were included in the study and you misspelled the word "rise" as "rice". I am sure you know the difference in the meaning of the two words. That is self explanatory. You could have combined that second paragraph with the third paragraph in order to develop a more coherent and concise presentation of your information. You forgot to mention that the population was equal in 1940 for Yamhill and Columbia.  
  
The final paragraph could have used more development by one sentence so that the essay could have had a better GRA score. You could have divided the 2nd sentence in order to create 2 separate but informative sentences that would have depicted a better analytical presentation on your part. For me, the more acceptable presentation could have been as follows:  
  
*By 2000 ... In contrast, the other two counties steadily increased in ~~the~~ population . However, the figures were both relatively lower than that of Washington.*
Question: A person's worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important.  
  
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## honor, kindness and trust to measure a person's worth

  
  
There is apparently a long list of criteria in evaluating a person. However, a proportion of people assume that conventional ethical values are being taken off list. Seemingly, the worthiness of an individual is now attributed to his or her social significance and possession of properties. From my point of view, I partly disagree with it.  
  
Undeniably, in this material world, people tend to admire or envy with those financially superior or who claim desirable positions in various social hierarchies. In fact, their admiration and judgment based on these factors are not ungrounded, in other words, reasonable. To climb high in social ladder, one must definitely pose certain characteristics. Being in charge of hundreds of employees, for example, requires billionaire CEOs competence, brainpower and leadership skills. It is not a coincidence that a selected group of elites are voted into the government; otherwise, every citizen could run for presidency.  
  
Meanwhile, social status and material wealth can never suffice, rather be trivial and flawed in several cases. To illustrate, luxurious celebrities would not earn themselves respects if over-indulging in alcohol or drugs. The same goes for a reputable teacher who bears discrimination toward impoverished students or a head director whose company is criticized for labor abuse. Furthermore, that old-fashioned values are not exalted is a false notion, especially on daily basis when people comment on others' behaviors. It can be explained by the fact that ordinary people usually attempt to raise their kids to be benevolent, rules-respecting , kind-hearted citizens and praise bonding, trust worthy relationships. Still, they absolutely stand for the righteousness and condemn violation of rights. That is to say, there is no way that ethics have been totally neglected by societies.  
  
All things considered, I would confirm my stance that although wealth and power can be the symbols of personal worth, the intrinsic value of a person should be measured by their morals such as honor, kindness and trust.  
  
(321 words)
Anh, let me start by helping you with some advice about how to better develop an opening statement. You see, the opening statement is expected to represent your understanding of the original prompt requirements. One way of accurately doing this is by taking note of specific keywords in the essay. This will show that you analyzed the prompt requirements and properly considered the expectations of the discussion. In this case, the keywords to be used in the opening statement are : person's worth, social status, material possessions, old fashioned values, honor, kindness, trust, importance, extent of your opinion. By using the keywords in the opening statement development, you will prove that you understood the requirements and also, understand the meaning of the words. These lead to higher TA, LR, and GRA scores. Therefore, a more apt opening statement and subsequent discussion would have been:  
  
*People these days are no longer judged by their old fashioned values, honour, kindness and trust. Rather, they are viewed based upon their social status and material possession. This opinion is very popular these days when interacting with people. However, I find myself in partial disagreement with this statement due to some of my knowledge and experience regarding this topic. I will be discussing the extent of my disagreement within this essay.  
  
I partially disagree with this essay on the basis of...  
  
In addition to that discussion, I would like to add that...  
  
Take for example...  
  
In summation of this discussion...*  
  
Properly formatting your essay to the maximum 5 sentence requirement, focusing on only one topic per paragraph will see you writing at least 300 or more words that will help to increase the possibility of a higher TA, C&C, and GRA score for you. I don't recommend writing less than 3 sentences per paragraph, regardless of it being an opening statement, body, or conclusion because it is only by writing more in proper English that you can develop a better coherence and cohesiveness score.