dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
## **Some people think that sports play an important role in the development of society.**

  
*Others think they are nothing more than a leisure activity.*  
  
There are different views on whether sports are significant in our society development or merely recreational activities. It is understandable why some individuals overlook sports but I believe that those types of activities are more than that.  
  
On the one hand, participation in sports is commonplace as many people perceive physical activities after working and studying hours as leisure time. As they work hard and cope with numerous problems and difficulties in a day, they want to be engaged in some events which can help them to unwind or to find joy or amusement. Additionally, many people are aware that sports can be time-consuming; therefore they opt for one they are indulged into and participate in whenever they have some spare time. For example, a number of office workers play football after work in order to relax and meet the like-minded friends without thinking of any other benefits. If they are occupied with tasks or another plan, they will postpone the planned activity.  
  
On the other hand, a considerable number of people know that sports play vital roles in the development of our society these days. In fact, all people from the young to the old are benefited from athletes because while taking part in those activities, their health can be improved physically and mentally. Their muscle built up and the amount of fat reduced results from their involvement in sports. Also, the risk of some types of diseases is lowered to some extent such as stroke, heart disease or diabetes. Athletic participation is a good way to reduce stress and depression by some means and stimulate a healthy lifestyle and habits. When people live a good life their own, the authorities can focus on solving other problems from which human beings can benefit.  
  
To sum up, even though sports have been considered just a leisure activity; however this can be a great approach to upgrade our community.
## AIR POLLUTION

 *- protect the **environment** - write about air pollution and how to deal with it.*  
  
***Air pollution** is a serious problem, and it also is a common essay topic. I wrote about it and hope you'll help me with my essay. THANK YOU!*  
  
This is my work:  
In the recent years, we have to face up to a serious problem: air pollution, which is predicted out of control in the future. It directly affects our lives. Air pollution occurs when the atmosphere contains gases, dust or fumes in harmful amount.  
  
The pollution isn't natural, how it appeared? There are some causes. First, factories dump untreated heat, smog and sewage, waste into environment. Second, vehicles make exhaust and dust. Third, consumer and commercial products make landfills from its waste. Fourth, people burn trash and fossil fuel, it produces carbon dioxide. Finally, in agriculture, chemical substances (pesticide and herbicide), fire smoke and pollen can also be pollutants.  
  
We are living in a big air tank. If the air is polluted, of course people are affected. Air pollution harm our respiratory systems, it leads to pneumonia, bronchitis, lung cancer or even the death. It changes the ecosystem, kills animals and botanical species. Air pollution contaminates water and soil, cause global warming and natural disaster.  
  
We call for some solutions. Factories and transport must have exhaust treatment system. If people use electric public transport, cycle or walk, there'll be less poisonous fume. We ought to use environmentally-friendly products and renewable fuel, follow the 3Rs (reduce, reuse, recycle) and put out all the fire. We shouldn't use fireplace or wood stove for heating and cooking. And the most important action is plant more trees - our nature lungs.  
  
Protect the environment is our crucial responsibility. It needs our hands. If each one of us, the small parts prevent air pollution from happening together, there'll be huge effects.
The first thing I noticed is how you are prone to using contractions, which is an informal method of writing. When writing an academic paper, use both words, spell it out because that is how academic tones are maintained. Follow the formal method of writing as academic papers are used in school presentations while word contractions are used mostly in informal, casual, and creative writing papers.  
  
When writing a paper based on current or ongoing actions, use active descriptive word references ( protect = protecting). Thought clarity is also important. What did you mean when you wrote:  
  
It needs our hands.  
Are you sure that you did not mean : *"It is in OUR hands "* ? Your sentence does not offer a clear idea of what you wish to say.
Hello, please kindly help me review my essay, thank you a lot for your help.  
  
**Topic:  
*Some people believe that everyone has a right to have access to university education and that governments should make it free for all students no matter what financial background they have.*  
  
## To what extend do you agree or disagree?**  
  
Some people argue that college must be debt-free, irrespective of learners' financial status as everyone are worthy to be given their dues. Personally, I definitely disagree with this point of view owing to its adverse outcomes.  
  
It is understandable that there are individuals who subscribe to the free-college policy as many students cannot complete their schooling due to their low social-economic backgrounds. These advocates believe that free-of-charge education would lead to more educated people, which contributes to the development of the country and society. This is a flawed idea since it can raise the youth unemployment rate as well as the number of people with degrees who will do jobs that they are overqualified for.  
  
Another drawback of eliminating tuition fees is that students will take their college education for granted because they will not have to pay anything. These days, undergraduates have to pay for courses, which means that unless they want to spend another significant amount of money and time to re-attend those classes, they are forced to try their best to get good grades. In contrast, learners who receive the provision of free-of-charge education could be indifferent to their study if they have to pay nothing. For instance, they will easily cut classes or not bother to study hard since it costs them nothing. Hence, it leads to a waste of the national budget which is devoted to pursuing college without a fee.  
  
In conclusion, I believe that education, in general, and college, in particular, should not be free for every individuals since the drawbacks are hard to overcome.  
  
*(262 words)*
This is a flawed idea  
Good job. This is exactly how this topic should be discussed based on the given parameters. This a good written debate presentation. However, your point of view discussion could be made longer and stronger in opposition. still, a good effort. It delivered.  
  
Hence  
This in the better developed opposition discussion. Try to replicate this style in your future exercises using similar single opinion discussions. You are on the right track.  
  
In conclusion  
This is the weak point in the discussion. This should have at least 40 words and a 2 sentence summary of the previous discussion. This is the section that will recieve a score down in the overall consideration. You need a reverse paraphrase here.
## Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time

  
  
Nowadays, charity work is more popular day by day and is especially special to young people. This brings large benefits for them and resolves some issues for society. In my point of view, I totally agree that teenagers should spend their spare time on unpaid community work statements. This essay will explain the reason why I support that.  
  
According to many people, community work is an opportunity for teenagers to become complete people in their life. In other words, the work like helping old people, special kids, etc. the little-adults can increase more social experience. This includes how to understand the problem, how to gain the idea to solve that issue, and how to take the action. For instance, many universities in Vietnam organized lots of charity events such as The Green Summer, The Spring volunteer,... Joining this program will increase our conscience about other people, and furthermore, it gives us a chance to take humanitarian action. Significantly, this experience and social skills can not be learned at school or by attending an academic course.  
  
Like the previous point, it is a good chance for society. Firstly, the increase of decent citizens amounts also reduces the proportion of crimes for countries. As evidence that through helping people works, young generations also advance their cognitive skills and have responsibility for themselves and society. Accordingly, the number of crimes, robberies, and unethical involvements was reduced in recent years.  
  
In conclusion, participating in unpaid work has positive effects on society. Similarly, it brings rich inner qualities to teenagers.
This essay will explain the reason why I support that.  
This is unacceptable. Once your opinion is provided, the reasoning summary must follow immediately to complete the opinion basis/ discussion reasons outline.  
  
volunteer,...  
One punctuation mark at a time. Review punctuation usage rules. Nowhere does it allow for the successive use of punctuation marks. That is because each mark indicates a different though t or emotional representation. That is why it is used only one at a time. This relates to thought and discussion clarity.  
  
can not  
Spelling error. This should be represented as one word only. Connect the spelled out words as one only.  
  
Firstly  
Do not use numerical ordinals in a paragraph if it cannot be used successively.  
  
Use a comprehensive concluding summary. Use at least 40 words for a full scoring award.
HELLO, here's my writing, please check for me, thanks a lot.  
  
## IELTS WRITING TASK 2- CAUSE AND SOLUTION

  
  
TOPIC: People who live in large cities face a range of problems in their daily life. What are the main problems people in cities face, and how can these problems be tackled? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.  
  
It is believed that large cities are usually economic hubs of the country. Therefore, many people from different cities move to large cities to look for job opportunities. Besides that, people in cities face numerous problems such as pollution, population, and traffic. This essay will analyse some of the problems, and possible solutions.  
  
One of the most common problems in large cities is traffic congestion. Due to the increase in vehicle density, the rush hours have become a nightmare for many citizens. For example, in Hanoi from 5-7pm, it takes 2-3 hours to travel from their offices to homes in a short distance. Furthermore, overcrowding is the second major problem that may spread infectious disease. For example: In Covid pandemic, a dense population has increased the risk of spread of infectious disease such as in Hanoi and HCM have the highest infectious cases in our country.  
  
For the problems that people are facing above, there are some possible solutions for these cases. Firstly, with the traffic problems, the government should encourage citizens to use more public transport such as: improve the quality and the numbers of public transports as same as many developed countries. Secondly, the government should improve the quality of education and offer the citizens more job opportunities in small cities. Therefore, people don't need to migrate to large cities. These solutions can reduce problems for the large cities now.  
  
In conclusion, it is known that people who live in big cities have to face traffic jams and infection. In my opinion, If the states encourage people using public transportation and offer a wide range of job opportunities, the amount of emigrants will decrease in the near future
This essay will analyse some of the problems, and possible solutions  
You already provided an overview of the problems. Provide a summary of solutions next to complete the response requirements Never repeat the discussion instructions. You are to provide a summarized opinion where direct questions are asked.  
  
In Covid pandemic  
Incorrect wording. It should have been: During the... This is related to LR and GRA skills.  
  
The writer has done an excellent job of discussing the causes and solutions. The sentences are coherent and well connected. However, better use of transition sentences would work better. Cohesive paragraphs also exist in the presentation regardless off the menemal GRA issues. The essay is well developed and fully addresses the discussion paragraph requirements. continue to develop your writing skills to further polish your written presentation.
**Question:**  
*Some people think that newspapers are the best way to learn news. However, others believe that they can learn news better through other media.*  
## discuss both views and give your opinion

  
  
**Answer**  
Opinions are widely divided on the importance of different news sources. Regarding whether newspapers are the most effective way to fulfill our curiosity about what is going on beside other media, there is a strong case to be made for both sides of the debate.  
  
On the one hand, supporters of newspapers often highlight that articles provided by local journalists are trustworthy sources of news. They, for example, claim that a person can easily get the fake news in other media because they can be posted by anyone, without any regulations while newspapers are usually written by professional writers and are thoroughly checked and edited before being published. Furthermore, magazines, newspapers have existed for a long period of time and many publications have gained their trust from a wide range of readers, who have built a habit of reading a newspaper every day, so it is their priority to keep the reputation and by then, newspapers are getting better and better through time. Lastly, the argument continues, reading newspapers can also be a good way of reducing potential eye problems as people do not have to stare at the screen for a long time.  
  
On the other hand, advocates of getting news from other sources often argue that newspapers cannot always be instantly fast when delivering news as they need a longer process to check and publish while sources like social networking are faster due to the fact that anyone can take part in posting news. Moreover, those who support the idea of getting news online also point to the invaluable benefit of how portable and easy it is to access the latest stories. With the development of technology, readers can now comfortably enrich their knowledge just by a few clicks. Finally, on this side of the debate, people emphasize that videos and audios are other useful attachments that only appear in online magazines, which I am sure, are very effective in delivering information.  
  
Overall, it appears that the stronger argument is in favor of getting news from other sources, with all the advantages of the convenience and instant they have. However, this should be under the supervision of the government as online publishers can always deliver sensational news to the readers.
Well, of course there are strong sides to the debate. So, what is your opinion? Which is your personal preference ? Why? The thesis statement is incomplete as you failed to provide your opinion statement as required. Points will be lost because of this shortcoming. Always double check the requirements against your presentation. Adjust accordingly.  
  
Lastly, the argument continues,  
This is unnecessary. It disconnects from the earlier discussions. The paragraph lost its cohesive presentation due to the under-explained 3rd reason.  
  
Finally, on this side of the debate  
You don't have to go overboard with the number of reasons. 2 will suffice. Adding a 3rd often results in a little developed last reason. You did that twice and will be scored down in the process.  
  
Good job in explaining the public opinions. You lost a chance at a higher scare though due to the aforementioned reasons and, a lack of personal opinion presentation.
## formal education for kids as soon as possible

  
  
Some people say that at the very early age, children should take up formal education, while others think that not until 7 years old should they begin it. Personally, I believe having a sooner start will brings more beneficial than a later one.  
  
To begin with, there are some advantages of letting the children go to school at at least 7 years old. Firstly, they will have more time at home learning how to behave and how to take care of themselves since the teachers cannot teach them that thing as detailed and carefully as their parents. Besides, taking up formal education too soon will create many stresses for the children. The earlier childhood prioritize learning skills instead of knowledge. For example, children prefer playing with their friends, living nonchalantly than doing math and writing several paragraphs.  
  
However, begin their formal education at the very early age affects the kid more. Despite learning new things by theory with their parents, they can learn a lot by interacting with their friends or teachers and develop the social skill, which will benefit them in the long run. Although coming to school early may create stress, early knowledge and more time practicing will provide them a head start compared to the ones who start later, moreover, we can still manage their concern by adjusting the curriculum to be suitable for them. Having early education will help the children to develop more in the future.  
  
In conclusion, I think that let the children take up formal education as soon as possible is a better idea.
The point of view of the writer is well represented throughout the essay. Only that point of view. There are 2 other points of view that should have been discussed from a public perception. This type of essay requires I reasoning paragraphs that offer 2 points:  
  
- An analysis of the validity of the public reason  
- The opinion of the writer in relation to the public support (Yes or no? Why?)  
  
By framing the discussion in this manner the writer will be able to deliver:  
- A thorough insight of the opinion  
- A coherent discussion as per the discussion requirements  
- 2 cohesive discussion paragraphs  
  
The uniter will do well to review the required discussion presentation next time then consider the appropriate writing format.
## pros and cons of advertising

  
  
nowadays, the soaring of the advertising industry is becoming more ubiquitous. From my standpoint this both HAS advantages and disadvantages.  
Advertisement sometimes is really annoying. When we traipsing around the town, we can't avoid those adverts, because they are omnipresent, especially while we using our phone or any social media platform. The appearance frequency of advertisements distracting and baffling our concentration a lot. Another reason is the promotion of advert induce people to squander their money for many goods they dont really need. With the eye-catching facade background, effect and color, advertisements advertisement captivate numerous customers to buy things, which are not necessary. It leads clients to squander a large amount of money, which they can spare for their preliminary.  
  
nonetheless, the advert promotion does have several benefits. The advertorial tool really plays an imperative role in the call to action, which helps many circumstances. For example, a large amount of money has been sent to many charities and organizations to save a plethora of refugees and animals that are on the verge of existence. Furthermore, a great number of jobs are always available thanks to the advertisement industry. It has created a lot of jobs for many people and solves their unemployment problem.  
  
In conclusion, advertising itself has many pros and cons. I believe the attempt to refine those shortcomings during the raising this credential industry will be much more helpful for the society
In any real time setting, the writer is allowed to have his oven opinion that is not based on a discussion question. That is not the case for a task 2 essay. Regardless of how much you emphasize your dual opinion, it will not alter the actreal opinion requirement. This is a single opinion essay pick one side to develop as your response and do so. Discussion instruction changes made by the student will result in a failed test. Partial scores will be given because the response format remains incorrect. So, regardless of emphasis, when the writer shows an inability to follow the writing instructions, the score will not be passing.
**Topic:**  
***Some people say cultural traditions are destroyed when they are used as money-making attractions aimed at tourists.  
Others say this is the only way to save such traditions.***  
## Discuss both views and give your opinion.

  
  
**Answer:**  
  
For thousands of years, cultural traditions have been preserved from the time of founding and defending the country until our developing era. However, conservation of these traditions is controversial whether it is true when using national cultural traditions as a money-making tourist attraction. Some people hold the opinion that it is unethical and this destroys Vietnamese traditions while others believe traditions can be saved by doing this. Both views will be discussed and my perspective will be proposed later.  
  
With the aim of making money by turning traditions into famous destinations, some people disapprove because it can damage these Vietnamese cultural traditions. As soon as it becomes a famous tourist attraction, a huge number of tourists can pay a visit to these places and it can be a disaster if there are many people lacking awareness who throw their rubbish everywhere they go. As a result, the destination will not retain its beauty as the first time people can see as well as its original sanctity.  
  
However, it is more convincing to believe that this development is the only method to conserve these traditions. Firstly, making Vietnamese cultures commercial could be the ideal way to deliver those to the community so that people can enhance their awareness and knowledge about the long-lasting history of Vietnam. Cultural traditions will be passed down from the older generation to the younger generation, that is the full meaning of conservation. Furthermore, this can help cultures of Vietnam to be acknowledged by different countries in the world, which increase the rank of Vietnam in the global tourism map.  
  
In conclusion, although there is still little struggle in the ways of cultural tradition conservation, turning them into tourist attractions can be the best way to preserve Vietnamese cultures and pass down to the younger generation.
Vietnamese  
Why did you center on vietnam? That is not the focus of the essay. The discussion focus has changed. This inaccuracy will result in a scoring deduction.  
  
my perspective will be proposed  
Give your opinion at once since you are implying the 5 paragraph discussion forumat rather than the 4 paragraph, per public . consideration (a personal opinion for each reason).  
  
Vietnamese cultural traditions  
Another incorrect topic reference, another deduction applied. Use a general country reference next time.  
  
making Vietnamese cultures  
You have a completely wrong understanding of the original topic as provided.  
  
All task 2 essays do.not have a particular country focus. General discussions should use reasons applicable to any country. You may use your country as a stated example but, it should not be the discussion target.