dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
Nora, IELTS task 2 is an essay that requires technical and not mechanical approach. Considering that applying for the test require a huge some of money, you need to give it your best so as to avoid the risk of not meeting the TESOL requirement of your institution or organisation, thus spending unnecessarily for several sittings. If you are careless during drafting your essay, it will reflect in your overall score.  
  
Basically, in the task 2 of writing component of IELTS, you only 3 to 4 paragraphs to drive home your points. Remember, you have a very limited time and must write at least 250 words. The 1st paragraph is usually the introductory paragraph where introduce the ideas or points you hope to develop in next 2 to 3 paragraphs. The last paragraphs is the concluding paragraph where summarize the points mentioned previously. each paragraph must start with a topic sentence which later explained in the next 2 to 3 sentences. Transition words, synonyms, proper punctuation, and phrasal verbs will enhance coherence and cohesiveness of your essay. Constant practice will help in making your write-up better. Remember, it is more technical than your class essay.  
  
I hope to see an improved essay in your next post.
Thank you all for your response, as I said this is my first time trying .  
I read a lot of tips and examples and thought I can write! clearly I can't. For the paragraph, I forget to join them :')  
  
I have no idea what academic essay is all about, sadly I don't know how to write one in my own native language.  
I've tried TOEFL before and I get 17/30 in writing!! that was bad. I will keep trying hope I get better.  
  
Again Thank You Guys so much
Hi Norah, don't worry about it. We are happy that you are practicing here and you value the advice we give you. Can you tell us what kind of English test you plan to take in the future? In order to make sure you can pass that test, you should write essays that have topics based on the type of test that you will be taking. You will also be able to read the work of the other test takers here and learn from the advice given to them. That is how you can slowly, but surely, improve your writing skills. You have to focus on two things at the start. First, make sure that you understand the topic for discussion. Second, practice your paraphrasing of the topic and instructions. These are all in the first paragraph of the essay. Once you can properly develop the first paragraph, you will be able to easily write the rest of the essay. Again,it would be best if we knew what exam you are preparing for. Also, you should read the other sample essays of the students here so that you have a reference regarding how to best develop your response essays.
**100 years ago people thought that the human race was steadily making progress in all areas of life. Nowadays, there is less certainity that it is so. In what areas do you think the most important progress have been made so far ? In what areas are more things needed to be done ?**  
  
## Human's growth in all fields related to life

  
  
Over the last ten decades, humans have shown a steady growth in all fields related to life. However, it is observed that nowadays the invention by mankind in areas of life has reached a stagnant stage. The most intriguing inventions of this era are in the field of healthcare and technology. However, we need to take special measures and work on deriving methods to reduce global warming and pollution which are pressing issues.  
  
To begin with, there are numerous innovations in all areas of life which contribute to a better life expectancy of mankind. First and foremost, medical inventions have shown extraordinary results in addressing the epidemic diseases suffered by humanbeings from ages. Malaria is the prime example which has been treated from grass root level. In addition, the research in the field of technology is highly valuable. With the technological improvements, the communication between people around the world is at the touch of a button and these improvements device some real benefits to the whole world. For example, with the introduction of the internet, skype and facebook people who are miles apart can communicate within a fraction of a second.  
  
Nevertheless, there are fields which has been neglected by humans from quite sometime, which require immediate attention now. The most prominent issues that threaten human race are Global warming and pollution. Humans are indulged in deforestation and polluting the environment by burning fossil fuels which have a devastating effect on the whole world. In order to make the world livable, we need plant more trees and come up with action plans for reducing the pollution which in turn results in reducing the global warming.  
  
All in all, human beings have shown exceeding improvements in all areas of life which helps us to stay healthy and explore more around the world. Despite this, the improvements in addressing the problems such as population and global warming are not considerable to the great extent.
Sinchana, this is one of your better written and developed essays so far. Even though you have problems with writing proper nouns for things like Facebook and Skype as well as Global Warming, your discussion is somewhat clearer than the past. A word of advice though, do not present more than one example for each topic in an essay because you need to score well in the grammar accuracy portion of the test to bring up your score. Presenting just one fact for discussion will allow you to show off your English thinking skills, which increases your task accuracy, and your sentence development, in terms of grammar range. Do well on these two counts and the two other sections of scoring will also face an improved chance of getting a higher score. For this essay though, I do not think you can score higher than a 5 due to the grammar inaccuracies and incomplete concluding statement.
In your presentation, each paragraph has 2 examples which you use to create your message regarding the topic provided, All you have to do in order to find the problems with your essay is to read your essay again after reading my previous comments. The grammar problems are quite clear in each paragraph and explained by me in thread #2. For a more specific example, to help you get a starting point, refer to the second paragraph where you discuss Malaria at the start, then move to technology later on. For a better developed essay, you need to use the 5 sentence requirement per paragraph to solidly discuss the example that you can best develop for the discussion. It is not good to present 2 under developed reasons because that does not accomplish much for you in terms of proving your English thinking and grammar development skills.
**New parents should attend a parenting course to learn how to bring up their children well. To what extent do you agree or disagree.**  
  
One more useless 'correction' from you = account suspension  
  
## preparation for motherhood/fatherhood

  
  
Parenthood is the most beautiful phase of life which requires a lot of patience. In order to help new parents to nurture their toddlers, it is advisable to join a parenting course to get the know-how on raising kids. I am of the mixed opinion that enrolling oneself into parenting course will be helpful, whereas it is unrealistic to make sure everyone will join these courses.  
  
On one hand, these type of courses is required for couples who are staying away from their parents and doesn't have experience of handling kids. Despite this, parenting courses also offer practical reasoning of some trivial methods which are used by our ancestors. For example, when a toddler is having running nose, elders prefer to give a soup of black pepper, ginger et cetera. We might not know the exact purpose behind these things which will get clarified and addressed in the parenting courses. In addition, attending parenting course bring an extraordinary confidence in seeing ourself in foreseeable future as successive parents.  
  
On the flip side, parenting course is not worth for group families. This is because group family normally consists of elders who have immense experience in handling kids and taking care of them right from their birth. Furthermore, expecting all parents to attend these type of course is impractical as everyone might not have the budget to spend money on these courses. A good illustration is people who are living in below poverty line suffer to get basic needs for their livelihood who will be least bothered about these courses.  
  
All in all, parenting is the most critical phase where parents should take utmost care of kids and guide them in right direction and mold them to become better citizens. In my view, though parenting course brings a lot of support and confidence to young parents, it is not required by few people who are gifted with join family and people who are running on tight budgets.
Sinchana, as I have previously mentioned, you cannot choose to support both sides in the discussion when a prompt asks you present "the extent to which you agree OR disagree" with a given proposal. The keyword here being OR. Make a choice. Pick one side of the topic. The side that you are most familiar with and can defend even in the simplest form of English discussion. Then in the opening statement, state which side you will be supporting in this essay discussion. You cannot have mixed reviews. You must follow the prompt instruction for every essay that you write. No deviations. A deviation could result in an automatic failure in the exam because you will most likely not present the correct discussion for the topic provided. This seems to be a regular problem with your essays. You are incapable of actually following the English instructions. Do you have a problem understanding how to write the various IELTS essays? If so, you better speak up so that I can help you fix that problem. If you don't fix it, there is a greater chance of you not passing the IELTS when you finally take the actual test.
***Hi Sinchana**, I will try offering my perspective about your writing. After I have seen your style in the writing, I have known that you always include a hook before you paraphrase the statement. It doesn't matter because it can guide readers to understanding your writing. However, there was more essential. It is your position in the thesis statement. Please, you focus on prompts given. Your position should stand out between two views, not to explain another topic like this  
  
it is unrealistic to make sure everyone will join these courses  
Turning to the first body paragraph, you actually offer the reasonable opinion why you agree. However, you included the example of contents in the parenting course. I reckon that did not relate to the topic. Following this, I ever mentioned previously that you never ever ever present the contraction (doesn't) in the formal writing.  
  
On the other hand, your conclusion was not strong. I only remind you that the conclusion is the paraphrase of the thesis statement. Its aim is to clear up your position again in this essay. Besides that, I have found a few misspellings in your writing. You need to double check your writing before uploading this.  
  
I hope these can improve your ability.  
Happy writing.*
**More and More people prefer to read e-books rather than paper books. What are the reasons for this? What problems this can cause for libraries?**  
  
## electronic or real books?

  
  
With the prolific advancements in technology, there are a number of gadgets which replace the paper books and provide online books to the reader. I would discuss several precursors to this issue, such as readability provided by e-books, followed by the adverse effect of e-books on libraries.  
  
There are evident reasons as to why the paper books on the shelves are replaced by the e-books. First and foremost, the ease of e-books provides more flexibility and wider options to the e-reader. Furthermore, the e-books look similar to any other books which can hold 100s of books in its electronic device. A good example is a survey conducted in 2015 to draw the comparison between e-books and paper books. The result reveals that more than 60 % of the respondents are in favor of e-books, and consists of a higher percentage of elderly people, who are more comfortable with e-books as they can zoom the letters while reading which is highly beneficial. Another prime reason is the accessibility of books at the touch of a button through the internet which reduces the boredom of visiting shops and purchasing the books.  
  
However, the outrageous advantage of e-books is having a negative impact on libraries. This can be attributed to the popularity of e-books which are attracting many readers and in turn leave the libraries empty. Even though, this kind of situation prevails there are some people who are comfortable and prefer to read only paper books for the look and feel it provides. Furthermore, there are some historical books which are not available over the internet and can be found only in the libraries which still hold the prime focus of old libraries. In Canada, after the advancement of e-books, some libraries lost the visibility and forced to shut down, while old libraries which exist from ages still have a great importance.  
  
All in all, e-books have proved to be exceedingly important in this modern world, however, libraries which persist from ages still have its enormous significance.
Sinchana, I am afraid that in terms of task accuracy, you will not score higher than a 2. I know, it is a failing score. I am sad that you got this score because I was hoping to see improvement in your this practice test. However, I had no choice but to give you this score because of the fact that your response is not in accordance with the prompt requirement. In fact, it is barely related to the task give to you for discussion. While you were able to properly discuss the reasons behind the popularity of ebooks when compared to hard copy books, you did not give a proper response to the part about "What problems this can cause for libraries?"  
  
So, what problems can it cause? The problems are numerous. Some of the problems can be:  
1. Lack of interest among people to go to the library because ebooks can be accessed from any gadget.  
2. Lowering of the number of people who use the library because people no longer need to check out books using a library card.  
3. Insignificance of library material because the ebooks can provided updated information faster than regular books.  
  
Those are but a few of the correct responses that you could have presented for the second half of the discussion. While you could have scored better in the other parts of the test, the fact that you failed to properly discuss the topics of the essay automatically lowers your possible score for the remaining parts. Since they do not totally relate to the question provided, even your LR, CC, GRA scores will be adversely affected. You cannot be scored highly in those parts because of the prompt deviation on your part.
@Holt  
Thanks a lot for your constructive feedback.  
I was not aware of these many days what mistake I was encountering while writing an essay. I have attempted IELTS couple of times and always failed to achieve band 7 in IELTS writing. Somehow I found this site which is really helpful. I have 15 more days for my exam and hope I will correct my mistake within this timeframe and clear my exam this time.
If you have only 15 days left before the test, we do not have enough time to fix your problems. That is not to say that it cannot be done though. That just means that we have to work twice as hard to help you pass the test. The first thing that we have to address is your problem in understanding the prompt requirements. You have to learn to find the keywords in the prompt that will allow you better develop your answer. For example, in this prompt, the keywords are prefer to read, e-books, paper books, reasons, problems caused for libraries. Once you know what the keywords are, you will be able to assess the proper method of responding to the essay. The question posed becomes clearer. I strongly suggest that you develop this skill by writing at least 2 essays per day and reading more sample IELTS tests either at this forum or through other sources. It is important that you read the advice given to previous test takers and understand the suggested improvements for their work. That will also help you to discover your problems and how to fix it. Don't worry, I for one will be here for you every step of the way while you practice for your test. I won't quit on helping you if you don't give up on yourself.
***Hi Sichana,** I am gonna try offering improvement for your writing.  
Firstly, you unsuccessfully paraphrase the statement given. I don't know what you catch from prompts. In the introductory paragraph, you said that the gadgets take over positions of the book although you should paraphrase "readers tend to read e-book rather that paper books". Actually, you have to harness impressing the examiner in the first sentence. However, you make a mistake which can alarm the examiner for reading detailed your writing. Even the examiners can know what you will explain in the body paragraph because you have shown misinterpretation in the beginning sentence. I suggest you provide your time for analyzing the matter before you write this.  
  
There are evident reasons as to why the paper books on the shelves are replaced by the e-books  
It seems clear that you explained the different matter. Actually, you can harness your idea for answering the prompts, but you have to modify your first sentence in the first body paragraph. You can say that the readers are more likely to read e-books than the hard books because the e-books can be placed in the smartphone.  
  
Turning to the second body paragraph, you reviewed the primary role in the two last sentences although the prompt is about the impact of a tendency for reading e-books. Please, you are aware of the prompts. Although your grammar is safe for this matter, but your score will fall down because of your explanation out of the topic.  
  
Hopefully, you can consider my suggestion for the next writing. I believe you can master this section if you wanna observe examples of writing task 2 and practice more.  
  
Happy Writing  
GOOD LUCK*
**In some schools and universities, girls tend to choose arts subject ( such as literature ), and boys tends to choose science subjects ( i.e. physics) . Why do you think this is so ? Should this tendency be changed.**  
  
## disparity between both genders with choosing a school subject

  
  
Many universities have witnessed a difference in choice of suject preference between girls and boys. The observation is, girls are keen on choosing arts subjects such as literature, whereas boys tend to choose science subject like physics. This trend could be ascribed to the gender-specific differences, which does not require any assistance or change in its pattern.  
  
On one hand, the top-tier institutions have shown the differences in subject preference between two genders. This can be attributed to the behaviour, attitude, and choice of individuals while selecting the major subject in universities. Girls tend to have a great deal of interest in learning logical reasoning, analytical skills, collecting information and writing clearly and coherently. Whereas, guys have shown enthusiasm in competitive exams, medicine, research and engineering courses. This is clearly a matter of choice and preference between two genders.  
  
In my view, I do not think the tendency of choosing what inspires student should be altered. This is because, if chosen a subject of others choice or due to parents pressure, Juveniles will not enjoy their studies. In this 21st century, each and every person should be given the chance to select what they like and allow students to pursue what motivates them. A good illustration is the biography of M S Dhoni, who claims his parents helped him to identify his hidden talent and nurtured his abilities, which in turn molded Dhoni and he could succeed in adding his name to the list of top 10 cricketers.  
  
In conclusion, the great disparity between choosing a subject in universities can be a matter of pure choice between girls and boys. However, it is advisable to allow and promote individuals to select a subject which is in accordance with their choice, which in turn helps them to enjoy their professional career.
Sinchana, always keep a formal, academic tone in your essays. Always refer to the genders as male or female, men or women, girls or boys, ladies or gentlemen. Never use the slang term "guys" or "gals" as you did for the boys in this essay. That is informal English and, while easier to write and remember, removes your ability to show that you know how to respect the reader who is a person in authority. In your opening statement, you failed to present just one tiny aspect of the prompt, your opinion as to whether the trend should be changed. Remember, the opening statement is the summary of the prompt requirement so you need to make sure that every question is responded to in the short form in the introductory paragraph. Even with that simple error on your part, you will still manage to get at least a 5 in this essay because you actually did present an understandable discussion. There can be some confusion at some points of your presentation but it is not enough to thoroughly stress out the reader. The discussion is logical and makes sense once you get over the grammar problems. I hope that you will continue to show improvement with your next set of practice tests. It looks like you are on your way to increasing your practice scores. Keep it up.
Hi ! I am practicing on Ielts and I got this prompt:  
The prompt says : **the bar graph shows the global sales (in bilion of dollards) og different types of digital games between 2000 and 2006**  
  
## sale of games worldwide

  
  
The bar graph gives information about worldwide proceeds in dollars of four different kinds of videogames, namely mobile phone, online, console and handled games over the course of 6 years starting from 2000.  
  
It is noticeable that the sales of console games enormously declined over period, whereas the taking of three other things increased dramatically every year.  
In 2000, the global proceeds of console games followed by $6 billion, while handled games reached a plateau at $11 billion. Over the next 2 years, sales of console games still plunged by $2bilion although the turnover of handled games still went down . In that year, mobile phone and online began to be known. The next year, the figure for console games decreased by $3bilion.However, sales of three other stuffs.  
  
In 2006, proceeds of handled games hitched the highest point of the graph and turnover of online and mobile games reached &10 and $7bilion .In contrast, sales of console games went down and became the lowest column.