dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
## IELTS task2 - agree or disagree problem

  
  
**Write about the following topic:  
  
*Computers are often argued to be the most important invention of the last hundred years. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?  
  
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.  
  
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.***  
  
Computers now play a vital role in our society. Some people think that the computer is the most important invention of the last century. While others have different opinions. The essay supports the former idea that there are not other inventions more important than the computer. Firstly, the essay will discuss the convenience that the computer provides us with and secondly, discuss how the computer eliminates manual work.  
  
Computers are used everywhere we can imagine since they bring us lots of conveniences. Customers use shopping websites or smartphone applications to buy whatever they want online. Browsing goods on the computer is much easier than driving to the shopping mall. Many young people do not know how to cook a meal. And ordering meals on the computer is an alternative. Years ago, we communicated with each other through letters. Now we use instant messager like Facebook, Wechat. No waiting is needed anymore. It can be drawn that computers have made our life more convenient than years ago in many aspects.  
  
The computer is originally designed to deal with complex calculations that are used to be done by people. Calculating is a tiring and complex job. People often make mistakes doing such a job all day. Computers surely free us from tough calculation problems. After years of development, computers are able to do more difficult things now. Computers can control machines to produce goods without human guidance. In addition, advanced techniques like image recognition and automatic driving are also running on computers. Lots of tasks used to be done by the human now can be completed by computers.  
  
In conclusion, there is no doubt that the computer is the most essential invention in the last 100 years since it not only makes our life convenient but also reduces lots of manual and complex tasks.
By using a mix of singular and plural ownership pronouns (Me, myself, I, We, Our, for example) you would have boosted your overall score because you would have written a good mix of simple and complex presentations that highlight your ability to use various LR sources and also, prove that you have a good grasp of how to compose an effective English sentence. You could have used singular first person pronouns in the first body paragraph, then plural first person pronouns in the second paragraph to better highlight your grammar range accuracy and abilities.  
  
By the way, your final paragraph is a run-on sentence. Please avoid using long sentences that combine two ideas in one. That affects your GRA score. One idea per sentence please. That helps to increase the C&C scoring consideration for your essay as well. After all, the requirement for the concluding paragraph is a restatement of the discussion you provided in the body of paragraphs along with the topic for discussion and your opinion.  
  
Good work on this essay. You are well on your way to achieving an above average band-score at this rate.
## Sugar-based drinks issue

  
  
People are having more and more sugar-based drinks. What are the reasons? What are the solutions to make people drink less?  
  
High consumption of soft beverages is emerging as a contentious topic of today's society. This practice is attributed to some main reasons and can be addressed by definite methods associated with sugar-based drinks taxation and the provision of health information.  
  
People increasingly drink sweetened beverages which results from different factors. Firstly, the sweet taste in beverages containing sugar encourages customers, especially youngsters, to purchase and consume them. As most soft drinks include sugar-related ingredients, they stimulate the palate and heighten taste sensations which make drinkers become more interested in these beverages. In Vietnam, for instance, they could be an essential part in daily meals since only when some children have this kind of drink do they can finish their meals. Another compelling reason is that in competitive market of soft beverages, sugary drinks companies create tremendous marketing strategies which attract a great number of buyers. These drink conglomerates run advertisement campaigns on televisions or social media and presently, an effective way is advertising products with eminent stars. Pepsi, which is the quintessence of this marketing trend, is a preferable choice of drinkers because Messi, the most famous football player, represents it.  
  
The massive soft beverages' consumption can be solved by the following remedies. The government could levy more tax on sweetened drinks which could discourage consumers from purchasing them. The rise in the price of these beverages can place financial pressure on average-income working people. Therefore, they might consume less soft drinks. Additionally, as drinks containing sugar produce some adverse effects on human health such as obesity and diabetes, the authorities can diffuse the information about both physical and mental health deterioration of these unhealthy beverages to the public through mass media. Some short videos about health hazards and the organization of some educational propaganda and events with health experts could allow consumers to enhance their awareness of undesirable effects of sweetened drinks which is conducive to lower rate of people consuming them.  
  
In conclusion, great level of drinking sugar-based products is caused by different reasons, including their taste and clever marketing methods, and can be diminished by the imposition of higher tax and more health campaigns. It is recommended that people should lower their consumption of these beverages for the sake of their health.
Woah! 375 words??? You would be writing well over the 40 minute allotment for this task with this type of presentation. Did you remember to use a timer when you worked on this practice test? Most students forget that they need to time themselves when doing the practice test so that a proper estimation of the number of words you can write within the given time-frame can be made. You are not writing a school essay here. You are writing a language exam essay. That means, you need to leave an allowance for editing time. Always use a timer. You will be thankful you practiced under time pressure when you get to the exam center.  
  
It is best to practice writing short but coherent and concise presentations. Each paragraph is allotted a maximum of 5 sentences, which allows you write up to 300 words for the whole essay. Aim to utilize the full 5 sentence allowance even though the minimum requirement is 3 sentences per paragraph. Don't just keep on writing to make the essay longer. A longer essay never assures the exam taker of a high score. You know what will assure that? A proper representation of every scoring requirement within your presentation.  
  
That, is normally achieved by focusing on the clarity of the presentation instead of the number of words. In your essay, you really wrote a massive number of words, but did not focus on the clarity of the discussion. Which will have a great effect on your overall score. Long sentences also indicate run-on presentations, or the combination of 2 or more ideas on one sentence, which leads to less clarity in your discussion and therefore, a lower C&C and GRA score.
## three types of crimes in England and Wales

  
  
1.You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.  
The chart below shows three different crimes and the number of cases committed between 1970 and 2005 in England and Wales.  
Write at least 150 words.  
  
The line graph compares the number of cases committed in England and Wales using three types of crimes over a period of 35 years.  
It is clear that the most crimes by far was caused by car theft over the 35-year period.By contrast, the number of cases related to street robbery remained relatively few.  
  
Between 1970 and 1990, both car theft and house burgling showed a trend of rise with the number of house burgling cases reaching its peak at 0.7million.Fortunately,  
  
the figure for street robbery was below 100,000 and remained at this level until 1990.  
5 years later, car theft rose dramatically and finally reached its peak at 1.6million. After the year of 1995, the cases of car theft and house burgling began to drop, relatively to 1million and 0.5million in 2005. Unfortunately, street robbery came out more frequently since 1990 and in the year of 2005, the case number arrived at 0.2million.  
  
*
Remember to use a space bar to separate a period at the end of a sentence, before you start the next sentence. This will make it easier for the examiner to read your work.  
  
Your summary / overview paragraph is incomplete. The summary paragraph of this essay should have stated the following:  
- Type of graph  
- Type of crimes  
- Years covered  
- measurement representation (millions)  
- Obvious trend of the crime rate  
  
Of the aforementioned requirements, you only indicated the type of graph and possible trend. That is why your essay is extremely short. Even though you wrote 155 words, I am afraid that will not be enough to boost your score because you did not use enough words to show that you analyzed the graph in a manner that would have allowed you to write a maximum of 200 words. In effect, you underutilized the information presented. When you do not properly represent the information in the essay in the form of a paragraph analysis, you prevent your essay from achieving its full scoring potential.
## worrying threat to the Earth

  
  
Global warming has become a worldwide controversial phenomenon since 1950. It is defined as the heating up of the Earth's atmosphere due to the rise in temperature, which endangers the existence of living beings (plants, animals and humans). This essay will discuss its causes, impacts and suggest remedies to reduce the effects of global warming to an extent.  
  
The alarming problem is caused by many factors. One of which is the excessive emissions of carbon dioxide result virtually from human activities, for example, the greenhouse effects. Greenhouse gases, include carbon dioxide, trap the heat from the sun and prevent its escape from the surface thus increasing the temperature of the Earth. Moreover, the amount of carbon dioxide soars due to the rising demands for factories, means of transportation to support urbanization. Deforestation is also a predominant reason for global warming as there are no longer enough trees to absorb those detrimental gases. These major factors contribute to the daily rise of the Earth's temperature.  
  
Global warming endangers the life of living creatures since reports of its damage are announced regularly and greatly in amount. The poles are melting, sea level is rising and it is predicted that if the temperature keeps soaring, many countries will soon go underwater, such as Singapore or Egypt. The disaster leads to many other consequences such as desertification, extreme weather conditions, loss of animal habitats and supposedly the extinction of all kinds of species includes mankind.  
  
Its severe impacts on our planet raise the necessity of effective solutions. Firstly, governments need to reduce our dependence on fossil fuels by promoting the use of renewable energy, limit the amount of fuel-based means of transportation in the locality and advocate recycling, reforestation. Also, individuals can play a part by making lifestyle changes: switch off electrical devices when not in use, plant trees in gardens and adopt the habit of recycling, walking to work. These remedies should be conducted constantly in order to chill our heating planet.  
  
Global warming is probably the most worrying threat to the Earth at the time being. Therefore, mankind should put a high priority on saving our planet as it is us ourselves harm the planet. To curb global warming, every single individual must wake up, act and bring back what once was ours.
I will assume that this was written as an English writing exercise and that you were allowed to research notes for this essay. Therefore, my concentration for this review will be on the grammar issues of your work. When not indicated, as in this essay, I will assume that American English is the default language and my comments will be based on the grammar rules for that country.  
  
Punctuation wise, I noticed that you failed to use a comma with the conjunction presented in " The poles are melting, sea level is rising and it". There should have been a comma between rising and the next word to indicate a separate idea in the same sentence ( e.g. ... is rising, and it..." )  
  
You also need to be more clear in your sentence presentations. For example:  
  
*You: Global warming has become a worldwide controversial phenomenon since 1950  
Me: Since the 1950's, Global Warming has risen to become a controversial and worldwide phenomenon.*  
  
Don't worry though. You will learn to become more coherent in your sentence presentations over time. Just remember to read more English materials so that you will get a feel of how to better arrange your sentences during your practice essays. I would like to commend you for the simplicity of your presentation. Even though there are some grammatical issues in your presentation, you still managed to make yourself understood. That, is the main point of this exercise. For you to learn how to construct sentences in English that a native speaker can understand.
## La La Land

  
  
Honestly, I am an aficionado of films. I have watched many films in my life and there are so many great ones that I would like to share with my friends. However, I would like to talk about \* La La Land \* because I was impressed so much by this romantic movie. The movie was surrounded by two main characters namely Sebastian and Mia. Sebastian has a strong passion for jazz music in contrast with Mia. They met each other out of the blue while they were struggling in Los Angeles traffic. After many incidents, they fall in love with each other. However, they all have to pursue their dreams. They get into an argument, Mia said to him that He was abandoning his dream while Sebastian thinks that she just love him when he didn't have a job. The climax of this film was when Sebastian misses her plays that she put a great effort on. At last, they were all successful with their dreams, Mia has a happy family but not with Sebastian. It was such a very sad ending that everyone cant anticipate. There are many reasons why I choose this movie to share with myfndsire. First, the movie conveys a meaningful message that not all love stories have a happy ending. Also, this film grabs my attention with the outstanding performance of the actors and all the songs in this movie. I hope that my friends will enjoy this movie like me
Spoiler Alert! You were being asked to do a movie review, without telling the whole story of the movie. When you describe a movie that you like to your friends, don't delve so much into the story specifics. Talk about the acting, the background, the haunting music that sets up the scenes, never give away the full plot of the story. If you do that, then you won't be enticing your friends to see the movie. Additionally, you won't just be describing the movie, you will be telling the story. Hence the spoiler alert comment at the start.  
  
With regards to your grammar and punctuation, I found several problem points. You are not careful about how you write the words you use. What is "myfndsire"? I believe you meant to say, "my friends"? Review your subject verb agreement rules when it comes to writing sentences. "Sebastian thinks that she just love him " is wrong. "Sebastian thinks she just loveS him" is correct. Also "cannot" is a word that is written as "can't" in short form. However, it would be best for you to avoid using contractions in writing (cannot, did not) so that you can get used to writing in a formal manner at all times.  
  
You wrote well enough in this essay when you consider that you were able to express yourself in a manner that could easily be understood by others. Add to that, the way that you were able to retell the story clearly, even though the language used was not perfect or accurate at certain times. Keep writing. You can only get better from here.
## Teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the community

  
  
Some people believe that all adolescents have to take part in campaigns to help the community. Personally, I do not agree with this view.  
There are various reasons why people believe that teenagers have to participate in social activities. Firstly, it is beneficial for the individual teenager who was shy, withdrawn and unconfident. For example, my current leader is an introverted person was at a loss to help deal with problems. Secondly, it is easier for them to apply to various universities and jobs because of their experiences and maturity. Finally, the society where there is a range of deprived areas and disadvantaged people need their help.  
  
In spite of these arguments, I would argue that young people should not be forced to do unpaid work in their spare time. From my perspective, there are various ways to help the local community such as donating books or collecting money. Moreover, the youth can attain knowledge or sharpen their skills in their free time rather than work involuntarily. This helps them become wonderful citizens who will be wonderful sponsors for charity funds in the future. Last but not least, it is more effective for them to take part in social activities voluntarily.  
  
In conclusion, the charity indeed makes our community better, but in my opinion, any compulsion in helping others should not be forced.
As you only wrote 223 words for this essay, it will be futile for me to review your work. You have not met the minimum word count. You are lacking a total of 27 words to reach the minimum word count. This will result in heavy deductions in your TA score, which will prevent you from reaching the 5 mark for the essay. The reason that you did not meet the minimum word requirement is simple, you did not properly paraphrase the essay. Had you properly represented the discussion and instructions in your first paragraph, the rest of your essay, which was not badly written, would have achieved at least a passing score. Next time, try to phrase the paragraph completely. For example, I would have said:  
  
*There has been a growing discussion regarding the suggestion that young people should be made to do compulsory work in their district when they are not busy with other things. The reason being that such activities can be a learning lesson for them, as the neighborhood benefits from their participation in improving their collective surroundings. I find myself in disagreement with this point of view.*  
  
As you can see, I was able to properly paraphrase the original prompt while using new sets of keywords that would boost my LR and GRA score. Let me get one things straight though, it is not enough to simply keep writing and producing a long essay. You need to make sure that the essay makes sense to the reader and that every word and sentence presented will increase your scoring potential. If you just keep writing to increase the word count, then it might work against your essay.  
  
Your body of paragraphs are very well discussed. It should have helped you with your TA score, had you not written a short essay. By the way, your concluding statement should be composed of at least 3 sentences, producing a reverse paraphrase for the essay. This time, the conclusion should repeat your stance and reasons in the form of a single paragraph that closes the essay discussion.
## components of GDP in the UK

  
  
The bar chart illustrates Gross Domestic Product including IT and Service industries in the UK from 1992 to 2000. Units are measured in percentage.  
  
Overall, it can be seen that the proportions of GDP from IT industry are higher than that of from Service industry. Furthermore, the figures showed an increase throughout the year in Service industry where as GDP from IT industry's percentage was fluctuated slightly.  
  
Regarding to the statistics of GDP from IT industry, there was a leap from more than 6 percent to marginally above 8 percent between 1992 and 1994. However, 1996 saw a small plunge which was just a little bit under 8 percent . After that, it kept gradually jumping up to exactly 12 percent in 1998 and around 15 percent in 2000 which was doubled in comparison with the year 1996.  
  
In terms of Service industry, the proportions of GDP in this field grew stably. In 1992, it stood at absolutely 4 percent and moved upward to approximately 8 percent at the end of the period.  
  
*
The main problem with this report is that you have not maximized the possibility of garnering the highest possible score per bracket in your presentation. That is because you did not write enough of a mix of complex and simple sentences. In fact, 3 of your paragraph presentations fall under the minimum sentence count of 3 per paragraph. These are the paragraphs where you decided to use run-on sentences instead of full stops (period) to help with your information dissemination.  
  
While the grammar of the essay is obviously that of a beginner English level, you managed to make yourself understood for the most part. Your presentation was helped by the fact that you had to do data analysis and presentation, which prevented you from having to develop more advanced sentences. Although, trying to present advanced sentence presentation skills could have helped your GRA score tremendously. There is also a lack of punctuation use throughout your sentences such as the use of a comma and semicolon in some sections.  
  
Please be careful about your punctuation marks in the essay. You have extra spaces between the last word and period in one paragraph. Additionally, do not use uncertain words such as "approximately" in these presentations where the measurements fall clearly on a number assignment within the graph. Always be clear in your presentations.