dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
***NOWADAYS THE WAY MANY PEOPLE INTERACT WITH EACH OTHER HAS CHANGED BECAUSE OF TECHNOLOGY.  
IN WHAT WAYS HAS TECHNOLOGY AFFECTED THE TYPES OF RELATIONSHIPS POEPLE MAKE ?***  
## HAS THIS BECOME A POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE DEVELOPMENT

  
  
A school of thought holds that individuals have changed their way in interaction. The key rationale for this situation is the affect of technology. In this essay, the author will prove why technology has made the relationships more close. Also, this is a positive development.  
  
It is understandable why technology helps the relationships of individuals more tight. The first thing that needs metioning is convenience. In comparison to the past, people had to go to a particular destination to meet and talk . Also, if they were in a long distance relationship, they had to send letters which is only recieved after a few days. As today, many inventions served people to interact have born. Individuals can enjoy every moment together and it makes their relationship more tight . Not only the convenience but also the intelligence of technology participates in improving people's relationships. Base on a true story on BBC's news, there was a girl who got lost her parents in 2015. Then a kind women found her and decided to post her picture on facebook. This kind of social media can realize her face because it had appeared in her family's picture on Facebook. In the end, an announcement sent to her parents and they got their child back. Thus, technology is a vital factor to tight people's relationship.  
  
Like the author have already mentioned, technology helps people to interact. So this is a good development. If people can interact with others any time, they will do that more often. Not only with their family but also stranghers that they want to make friends. Besides, due to the appearance of technology, individuals can develop their jobs. It is obvious that many job interviews are now sent by emails and phones instead of letters or face to face.  
  
In conclusion, the appearance of technology has made the relationships people make more tight and it has become a positive developments.
There is a difference in word meaning between affect and effect:  
  
affect- verb ; to act on; produce an effect or change in:  
  
effect - noun ; something that is produced by an agency or cause; result; consequence:  
  
Effect is the word that should have been used. Word meaning affects the idea presentation of a sentence. Improper word usage causes incorrect meaning and idea development. It affects the clarity of the overall presentation and can confuse or mislead the reader. Word usage and word meaning familiarity is important.  
  
The thesis response also lacks clarity because the statement was divided into 3 parts rather than being blended into a single presentation :  
  
*Human interaction has changed in a positive manner due to technology.*  
  
Combine all the information highlights into one presentation to create an effective thesis sentence.  
  
The essay has a good but researched example. stick closer to home. How has our interaction with others improved when compared to how our parents used to do it? That gets a better consideration as it is based on personal experience.  
  
No author was mentioned in the prompt. This sentence misleads the reader. The rest of the paragraph is still on point and helps further explain the - of the writer. The concluding paragraph can use a better presentation. Try using 2 - 3 sentences to restate the discussion points next time. It will help with s a clearer post discussion summary to the reader.
## study at schools or at own home?

  
  
One day, whether studying at home with modern technology or at traditional schools is pupils' decision, but it is now raising a debate between everyone. From my point of view, the later is better.  
  
On the one hand, such schools are extremely beneficial. Firstly, the studying is more effective at school. Students can have a face-to-face discussion with their teachers, can be supervised thoroughly and do not be distracted there. Secondly, schools are great places to maintain interpersonal relationships. At schools, pupils are able to meet other people and befriend with those who have the same interests as them, Finally, traditional schools also have extra-curricular activities such as field trips, clubs and voluntary work. Via these activities, youngsters learn valuable lessons from life.  
  
On the other hand, I prefer the later to the former due to several drawbacks of technology. To begin with, looking at the computer or phone constantly may lead to some health problems. At first, they are just slight symptoms, but gradually, they will become more serious ones like myopia, depression, and so on. Moreover, this might be a problem to poor students, who can hardly afford a computer. Inadequacy of devices might worsen the studying of these children.  
  
In conclusion, I think traditional schools will still play an essential role in the future due to its aforementioned advantages, and students should only choose to study at home with technology as an extra way of learning.
The essay kicks off with a deducted TA score due to insufficient word count at 239 / 250 words minimum. Deductions in this part means the essay can be prevented from receiving a passing score because the essay is understood to be lacking in proper explanation development, among other additional scoring mistakes or errors.  
  
Due to several prompts being related to this topic, I would need the actual prompt you used to create a comprehensive review of your work. I will work with what I have for now. It won't be comprehensive but it will still be a useful review.  
  
The paraphrase includes the topic and the identification of the opposing sides.Missing from the presentation are the 2 different reason statements for each opinion. The discussion basis of your restatement is incomplete.  
  
Word usage errors exist from the very start with the use of the word later (at a time in the future) instead of latter (being the second mentioned of 2). While the examiner maybe able to guess the more proper word, deductions to the LR and C + C sections will be applied.  
  
A comparative discussion approach was used for what appears to be a single opinion discussion. No scores will be provided for the unrelated paragraph discussions.  
  
This first attempt at task I writing is problematic but shows the writer has promise in writing correct response formats. Better writing guidance and English word familiarity are required for the writer's improvement in response style and overall scoring.
## fast foods are convenient

  
  
I am a person who is always busy with work, so saving time is very important to me even when it comes to eating, so I like eat fast food. Currently, i usually order processed food like hamburgers, pizza, hot dogs, or takeaways food. Most foods are fried in oil, very crispy, and have an aromatic, i can tuck into them all at once. I always have them for lunch because the lunch break is brief beside I'm a student so it takes a long time and if i'm in hurry, i can order them on apps. On some occasions, i have tried to follow fast food recipes and recognize that it did not take much time and energy to cook though since then, i often eat lazy rice. Although fast food has a lot of fat, greasy and little nutrition, it is indispensable in my daily life
Try to consolidate your background description in relation to the topic. Prompts like there have to be written insteps. For this, the writing steps are:  
  
1. Explain you background ( I am a student)  
2. Talk about the student lifestyle (limited lunch hour )  
3. Explain the connection of the background and lifestyle to the food preferred/ like eating the most (fastfood)  
4. Describe the convenience it offers based on healthy food choices and time convenience.  
  
The response can still be written in a single paragraph. It just needs a better information outline to help the reader become better informed. The writing direction in needed for clarity and easy discussion flow.
## global product market in crisis

  
  
As the world is becoming integrated, an enormous number of nations have by far undergone a resemblance that sparked an in-depth controversy in our contemporary society. From my perspective, this tendency, however, seems to be a negative enhancement due to the lack of vibrancy accompanied by the massive pressure upon the product market.  
  
There is no denying the fact that having introduced a wide range of commodities universally, each nation tends to lose its own vibrancy. As a consequence, there will be a depletion put on the diversity of any single culture, plummeting profit gaining from the tourism industry. On account of the diverse culture and merchandises are pronouncedly attached to tourists' curiosity. Even more disturbing, though, other categories of service will be in a duplicated condition as a result of the decline in economic input.  
  
Aside from the aforementioned circumstance, the global product market will experience an adverse crisis. By virtue of the continuous competition among industrial companies toward similar merchandise, which allows an increasing wealth of product quantity, lowing the residents' living standard. Another negative aspect that should be taken into consideration is the jeopardy of bankruptcy, as a result, a great deal of the unemployed will be witnessed by society. Taking the economic crisis occurred in the United States throughout the 1970s as a typical illustration of what I am implying.  
  
In conclusion, I once reaffirm my statement that the growth in the same product will be viewed as negative as a result of the loss of cultural vibrancy as well as the shakable global economy. Once proper receipts are taken into force, our world will be ever-increased.  
  
One more useless thread title = ban.
There is no prompt attached to this essay which makes it difficult to review. As there are several similar prompts related to this topic, only a general review may be provided.  
  
The paraphrase can be made clearer. The reader needs to understand the exact focus of this discussion. What resemblance proves to be a problem? Why is it termed a negative enhancement? Does the writer realize that a " negative enhancement " is a contradiction in terms/ meaning?  
  
Negative - Noun; a negative statement, answer, word, gesture,  
Enhancement - verb; to raise to a higher degree  
  
Enhancement should be used on positive leems as much as possible to avoid meaning confusion.  
  
Though the words combined sound high brow, the actual meaning is confusing to the reader. The word usage in this essay is mostly meant to impress the examiner but fails in its task because the meaning of the sentence becomes hard to decipher in ordinary terms. The writer should focus on being understood rather than showing his word range.  
  
Do not use information such as the 1970's U.S. economy as an example because the audience for this essay isn't comprised of economic professionals. more everyday references would have sufficed. Or any easily understood reference to the way economies are affected by the topic would have helped deliver a clearer idea of what you wish to say.
***Task 2:  
Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams, like football, while other people think that taking part in individual sports, like tennis or swimming, is better.***  
  
## Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

  
  
Whether taking part in a team sport is advantage is still an argumentative issue. To see how valid this argument is, we have to look at both sides of the debate.  
  
On the one hand, there are various reasons why people believe that participating solo sport will gain more benefits. Firstly, it can bring the sporter a highly independent because there is no one can assist them during the battle. In other word, as the essence of the individual sport such as swimming, tennis that give sporter a chance to develop independent thinking and adapt to making their own decisions. Furthermore, the comprehension of the win can only be accomplished by their efforts to make competitors a strong reliance.  
  
On the other hand, some argue that it is more beneficial in order to engage in teams such as football and basketball. The primary reason for these is perceiving how to teamwork efficiently which team sport will train competitors. It means that individuals who in a team have to know exactly their position and responsibility to facilitate the team in the best way. For example, sometimes during football, the player has to get a flaw to the competitor for preventing the inevitable goal. Another major reason is associate with the leadership since working in the team can boost the lead ability which is needed not only in the game but also in business.  
  
In conclusion, although there are some concerns on the positive impacts to the solo sports, I believe that the team sports like football bring far more benefits.
She prompt restatement is selective and incomplete. A proper paraphase covers a representation of both topics presented, inclusive of the personal statement of the writer. One cannot look at both sides ofa debate when only a single discussion aspect is presented for consideration.  
  
The second discussion topic /paragraph is surprising as there is no preliminary basis for this discussion paragraph. All discussion topics to be discussed should be established in the first paragraph to create a proper discussion outline for the upcoming paragraphs. This creates clarity for discussion points and coherence in succeeding paragraph discussions based on topic connectivity from one paragraph to the next.  
  
The lack of reference to the writer's personal opinion is obvious. Only general discussion points of the public aspect were addressed in the essay. The implied discussion format was not followed. This is an incomplete discussion presentation that will recieve only partial scoring considerations due to several missing scoring elements.
## trees are being cut down massively

  
  
It is said that every countries and governments are facing several problems which are one of all is deforestation, a problematic and serious issue.  
This is a situation in which the trees are being cut down and a great many negative consequences are formed. Initially, deforestation underpins the global warming process because the carbon dioxide will not be held by the plants. Secondly, it will accelerate the speed of the water of the rain causing flood and erosion. Finally, the forests are the house of a wide range of various animals and plants in the ecosystem; therefore, cutting down trees endangers the wild species. This problem should be urgently solved firstly by the government and then <del></del>by the citizens.  
  
One of our group's possible solutions is that the authorities should organise campaigns to raise the residents' awareness by giving speeches about the essence of the jungles and adverse effect of deforestation, but not giving the leaflets which can lead to the littering status.  
  
Another suggestion is punishment should be carried out: one year of doing public activities per one tree. Although this could be a suitable solution, we have argued that this is not appropriate advice. Our group members have indicated that the illegal foresters will hide and run, additionally, governments don't have enough policemen to supervise the forests and this is an adversity.  
  
In summary, instead of implementing the disciplines, young generations and also adults should be educated on how critical the forest is, in case it could help in preventing deforestation status and either saving trees.
When the prompt was created, the writer neglected to create an introductory or preliminary paragraph that focused on deforestation. The topic chosen is not clearly explained by the reason. The prompt statement also fails to reflect the questions to be discussed based on clear responses to the outline questions. oThe prompt statement is not effective in reflecting the writer's thoughts.  
  
For some reason, the writer saw it fit to bring forth the thesis statement as a topic statement in the 1st discussion paragraph. This created an incomplete prompt statement in the actual prompt paragraph.  
  
The writer is also careless as there is evidence of lack of proofreading in the work. The inclusion of format coding in the paragraph proves this. There is no discussion development in the paragraphs, only listed problems. Less focus on topic presentations and more discussion or explanations are the actual requirements for the presentation.  
  
There are more explained solutions, creating a lack of balanced discussion. This imbalance highlights the lack of writing planning and outlining prior to the actual essay drafting. In fact, it is the draft version, rather than the edited final version that Was submitted for this review.
## instead of preventing climate change, we need to find a way to live with it

  
  
It is widely believed that people should find an approach to live with global warming instead of preventing it. However, I totally disagree with this idea.  
  
In term of the negative consequences of living with climate change, it is clearly that it affects directly to our daily life. Global warming causes numerous catastrophes every year which are the reasons for lots of deaths and damages. Furthermore, many coastal areas are submerged and habitats are destroyed due to the rise of sea levels. The diversity of gen pool is decreasing and this is the warning of nature for the extinction. For instance, the number of Polar bears is decreasing and it is likely that this specie is in extinct phase, and also, in the near future, people will extinct unless we try our best to prevent climate change.  
  
Moreover, we are adopting lots of sustainable approaches nowadays which helps us prevent global warming. Governments have had lots of way to reduce climate change by publishing laws strictly with the bad behaviours which causes global warming. For example, many countries put pressure on using private means of transport which use firewood, and also, they raise their citizens' awareness, make efforts developing sustainable fuels. Besides, prenventing climate change is also citizens' responsibility. We can improve our environment by changing our behaviours, from the smallest like abandoning our wasteful lifestyle.We can also use more public transport, reduce the number of non-recycle garbage everyday, and propaganda the green messages to everyone.  
  
In short, I strongly believe that with the cooperation between governments and citizens, and with the developing of our science, more and more approaches will be appeared to reduce the risk of global warming. Thus, we should try our best to prevent climate change instead of finding a way to live with it.
There is no need to say" However" before presenting the disagreement. It does not fit the sentence structure. Since it had already been made clear that a sector supported the idea, the writer may simply state his opposing idea since, he doesn't support any aspect of the previous statement. The writer should have instead, referred to reasoning topics related to his opinion.  
  
The gen pool discussion came out of the blue. It lacks a proper connection with the previous focus points. This creates confusion for the reader and . creates a non' cohesive and incoherent paragraph. The numerous topics per paragraph create an over- discussion that lacks in clarity via transition sentences. Though the discussions are good, the lack of coherence is what creates scoring problems for this essay.
The diagram shows how chocolate is produced - ielts 1  
  
The given diagram illustrates the complex procedures required to produce liquid chocolate.  
  
Overall, the chocolate-producing process involves ten different steps, starting from harvesting the pods and ending with the grinding process. Tropical evergreen cocoa trees mostly grow in the wet lowland tropics of South America, Africa and Southeast Asia such as Indonesia. Once ripe and red, the pods are harvested manually by utilizing the farming blades. The farmers collect the white beans from the pods to begin the fermentation process. During this period, the white cocoa beans turn brown. The brown beans are heated and dried under the sun before carefully sealed and packaged into sacks. They are dispatched to the manufacturer by either lorries or trains, ready for mass production.  
  
In the chocolate-manufacturing factory, cocoa beans undergo three processes of roasting, winnowing, and grinding. First, the beans are roasted under 350 degrees to enhance the colour and flavour. This process also makes the outer shells brittle, augmented the winnowing process when the inner cocoa meat is separated from the shell to be crushed and refined. Finally, the fine cocoa nibs are pressed by the grinding machine to produce liquid chocolate.  
  
*Message: It would be helpful if you can give me an estimated score if this were an IELTS test. I am going to take the exam in July. Thank you!*  
  
*   
*The diagram shows how chocolate is produced.*
The writer must be more familiar with the image types. While the prompt provides a clue to the type of image, the student must fulfill the accurate image identification requirement in the writing. The image provided is an illustrative diagram.  
  
The trending identifier was accidentally blended into the descriptive paragraph in the second wiling part. That first sentence should have been merged into the summary instead. By adding the trend in the second paragraph, the target discussion of the presentation became blurred to the reader.  
  
The procedural references, per paragraph do the job. The vocabulary is properly used and sentences are properly written for the most part. The reader can easily imagine the actual chocolate or cocoa making process. There are few errors in the presentation.  
  
\* Contact me privately for scoring services.
## abolishing tuition fees

  
  
A school of thought holds a belief that governments should waive pupils' tuition regardless of their socio-economic backgrounds since everyone is entitled to attend tertiary education. I am not in favor of this opinion due to some reasons  
  
On the one hand, provision of free-of-charge education is beneficial for students and countries in some ways. On the individual level, people having economically disadvantaged backgrounds could stand a better chance to be a bachelor's degree holder once this policy is implemented. Therefore, a college qualification would be a tremendous help for them in case of applying for jobs and getting a well-paid position. In terms of society, tuition waiver would give rise to a more educated workforce which is the key factor for a thriving economy and civilized world.  
  
On the other hand, despite those aforementioned merits of free-college policy, numerous drawbacks do exist. The most compelling reason for not making university free is that the more the acquisition of a tertiary degree, the more competitive the job market is. This would lead to the circumstance that the university degree is no longer an indispensable element to enroll in the company. In addition to this, a huge cost to cover higher education tuition could put a strain on the government coffers. As a consequence, implementing heavier taxes or reducing welfare are inevitable in order to charge the tuition fees.  
  
In conclusion, it is worth considering that there are both advantages and disadvantages of covering college tuition. It seems to me that these benefits are overshadowed by the demerits.