dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
***Question: Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extend do you agree or disagree with that stament.***  
  
## **TOO MUCH OF A GOOD THING CAN BE BAD**

  
  
As human lives evolve, people strive to make it more comfortable and easy. In order to do that, humans have created a society where everything is optional and one can choose whatever they want in life. However, too much of a good thing can be a bad thing, with some saying that in today's lives we have an abundance of choices. I completely agree with that statement.  
  
The reason for this phenomenon is rather straightforward, as explained above. Humans strive to make everything simpler for them, thus they created things that aided them in everyday lives. This explains why technology has never been more advanced than ever before. The advancement later on led to the embarrassment of riches that we are currently suffering. Humans now have more food, entertainment services, occupations,..to choose from.  
  
At first glance, having multiple options seems like a good thing, but research has shown that when humans are presented with an abundance of choices they tend to be subjected to a syndrome called analysis paralysis, which means one gets paralyzed or stumbled when they have to draw a good decision from the presenting choices. For example, one goes to a supermarket to buy a particular object, a bag for instance. When they get there, they see that the supermarket sells multiple types of bags. Since that person just needs to buy a bag, with no specific preference, they are forced to pick from this array of options. Struggling to make a decision, they become paralyzed and unable to choose. This situation occurs not only in daily life activities but in social settings, relationships, and more.  
  
Examples for having too many choices in life are evident. People are experiencing them everyday. Like in dating, we once only had few options but now with social media we know more people and that means more people to choose from. Or watching tv, we once only could watch what was on tv due to cable scheduling but now with streaming services we can watch anything at any time. With buying products, we have websites to increase our options, with entertainment, we have the internet to cater our every need. Our choices are increasing day by day due to the improvement in life.  
  
All in all, compared to the restricted life of the past, today's lives offer humans a more satisfying life, because people have more to choose from. Everything has become more convenient. However, humans are not equipped with a mind set that can analyze multiple choices, this creates problems when they are presented with numerous choices. And like the saying, too much of a good thing can be bad.
Some task questions tend to sound like research prompts, but they are not. These are all mere personal opinion papers that need to be explained in 250-300 words , or 40 minutes, whichever comes first. The writer has overdone the work for the prompt. It was unnecessary to write almost 500 words. Research and scientific names for medical conditions are also overkill. In fact, it should not be done. The main criteria for evidence is personal insight and public knowledge. The exam taker will be prevented ffrom accessing researchable information at the testing site. Keep it simple and easy to read. Save the academic research discussion for when writing actual course related papers already. The discussion must focus on simple reasons that support the writer's opinion instead.
## the problem of climate change

  
  
One of the most pressing environment issues which is posing a serious threat to the world is global warming. I am going to discuss both reasons and solutions in the following paragraphs.  
  
On the one hand, there are two main reasons for the earth is getting warm than ever before. The first reason is the level of greenhouse gases released from power plants to the air which is rising at alarming rates. This leads to an increasing concentrate of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere, acting as a roof of a greenhouse and causing to climate change. Another reason of rising the earth temperature is deforestation. It is widely known that trees adsorb carbon dioxide to reduce climate change. However, in recent years, a large forest areas have been being cut for the different purposes. Thus, carbon dioxide and heat trapping gases will continue to increase and contribute to global warming  
  
On the other hand, there are two main solutions that could be implemented to tackle the problem of global warming. First of all, government should encourage power stations and plant using environmentally friendly energy sources such as nuclear or renewable energy instead of fossil fuels to decline the emission released to the air every day. Secondly, the strict punishment should be imposed for illegal logging and forest clearance to prevent humans from cutting forests for the personal benefits and make sure that forest areas are protected and managed properly. In addition, each individual can mitigate global warming by planting more trees to rising the coverage of vegetation. Citizens also can take part in environmental protection programmes like community planting.  
  
Taking everything into consideration, there are various factors which cause climate change as the rising of emissions and deforestation. Both government and individuals should join hand to solve this problem.
The prompt paraphrase and thesis statement paragraph will be considered too elementary in presentation. It lacks at least an advanced high school grammar and insight level. There are times when the paraphrase + response presentation is too simplistic and will not get a high preliminary TA score. This is one of those times.  
  
Do not use "on the one hand" and "on the other hand" to start discussions that are not comparative in nature. Being a problem + solution discussion proper topic references at the start of the paragraphs will more properly direct the reader in terms of content. clearly indicate which is the problem paragraph and which is the solution paragraph. word fillers are not always applicable and quite often creates confusion for the reader during the preliminary reading
**QUESTION:**  
***Some people believe that countries should invite foreign companies to open their branches, offices and factories in order to develop their economy. Others think countries should invest in their own companies instead.***  
  
## discuss both views and give your own opinions.

  
  
It is argued that to boost a country's financial system, the authority better expand branches and manufacturers with oversea institutions. Personally, I agree with this suggestion. However, it seems to many that spending on domestic firms is more preferable.  
  
Investment in local companies might assist a country to develop independently. In other words, it is obvious that given enough national funding, enterprises are more capable of producing things to serve the whole nation, as well as to export. Therefore, the domestic economy will be promoted and the quality of products will also be raised without being influenced by other nations. For instance, by applying advanced technologies and paying more attention to each technical stage, numerous fresh Vietnamese fruits, such as litchi, mango, etc. have reached many European countries with rigorous testing requirements.  
  
Having said that, I believe that cooperation with external businesses should be encouraged as it brings about several well-paid job opportunities and a better working environment. That is to say, if people want to be accepted by an international company, there may be a need for them to fulfil strict requirements, such as being fluent in English or owing specialized degrees. As a result, staff in these firms have all the right to receive high payment. That aside, foreign partnerships often offer workers state-of-the-art equipment, which is advantageous in increasing productivity. Also, local employees may have the chance to work with well-educated and professional colleagues in a multilingual atmosphere, thus enhancing knowledge, both practical and academic.  
  
In conclusion, even though internal companies have some noticeable advantages, I suppose bigger effort should be focused on inviting oversea businesses. Consequently, not only the local economy but also residents themselves benefit from it.
When presenting a comparison + personal opinion essay, the writer must not be seen as trying to convince the reader to side with his opinion. All discussions must be presented in a way that leaves the final decision to the reader. The statement  
  
However, it seems to many that spending on domestic firms is more preferable.  
should not be present in this paragraph as it creates a forced decision for the reader.  
  
The discussion paragraphs are faulty in the sense that the writer is presenting repeated personal opinions rather than explaining the validity of each public opinion, countered by a personal opinion in the same paragraph. The discussions are not properly balanced in the paragraph presentations. Familiarity with the 2 discussion types for this essay will help the writer decide which discussion format will be easier for him to use when responding to this discussion instruction. Use either:  
  
- 2 public opinion analysis paragraphs + Personal opinion  
  
OR  
  
- One public opinion explanation + personal opinion in the same paragraph (done twice, once for each point of new).
## Cyclists and car drivers sharing the same road

  
  
In recent days, it is common that two means of vehicles, cars and cycles, travel on the same roadway. This problem leads to various undesirable repercussions, which should be addressed by the following solutions.  
  
To begin with, there are two underlying problems occurring definitely when two means of vehicle drive on the same road. In the first place, the possibility of accidents between cars and cycles in the same road may happen higher than their own road. In fact that cars possess high-speed, over 50 kilometres per hour, and cycle drivers can be unable to evade collisions when travelling on the same artery with cars, they can be ineluctable the physical injuries as far as lethal. Furthermore, car drivers would also be dared with inconvenience by sharing the same roadway with bikers. To illustrate, car drivers have an appointment or are in an urgent situation and bikers going ahead are seemingly impediments for cars behindhand, which do not allow them to run as fast as possible and missing their important events can be inevitable.  
  
Hence, several solutions are supposed to tackle these problems, and it should be done by authorities as to the finest. One compelling solution is that the government can make the speed checkpoints on the roadways intended for both cars and bikes. By this control, It would be restricted the car speed as slow as 50 kph, and cycle drivers can control their vehicle better as well as dodge the fortunate situations, which impact on their health as well as depriving their life. Another justification solution is that dichotomy road are a necessary way for the government to address both problems in aforementioned, regarded as the most efficient. A typical example of this is that plenty of countries worldwide, especially Singapore, build designated roads for both cars and bikes, and they can travel simultaneously with speed limit without any hazardous or affecting ones.  
  
In conclusion, granted, both car and bike drivers can be in danger or inconvenience, such as accidents and barriers of the vehicle ahead; however, to solve these problems, authorities should control cars speed and erect separate roadways for both means of vehicles.
The writer has failed to consider that a major part of the globe now have bike lanes in the streets. These lanes were created specifically to avoid the problems that having cars and bicycles using the same street creates. The only problem that these 2 types of private transport creates is when making turns or changing lanes. This is the problem representation error in the essay.  
  
The writer has more problems than the aforementioned in the essay. One of the score reducing problems relates to word usage and thought clarity. Specific mention has to be made about the following sentence portion.:  
  
*... they can be ineluctable the physical injuries as far as lethaI*  
  
The writer suddenly decided to "go big" with his word usage without considering its actual meaning and relevance in the simple sentence presentation. It is an unsuccessful attempt at writing a complex sentence. It is a confusing presentation that proves the need for more simple vocabulary development and sentence development skills of the writer.  
  
It is a good attempt. The writer truly has potential in terms of passing the test. Focusing on improving the aforementioned problem points should help the writer gain more presentation clarity in the lougreen.
## the changes in the birth rates of China and the USA

  
  
The chart provided demonstrates the variation in the birth rates of two countries namely Chine and the USA in the period from 1920 to 2000.  
In general, the birth rate of both countries witnessed some fluctuation before a slight decrease. Besides, the statistic of the USA was higher than that of China in most of the years.  
  
Starting at roughly 10% in 1920, there was some variation in the birth rate of the USA, followed by a bottom out at less than 5% in 1945. After that, the birth rate of the USA surged to 15% in 1950. The statistic of the USA witnessed a slight dip in the remaining years apart from two times steadily rise to about 12% in 1965 and 7%.  
  
Regarding the birth rate of China, there was an upward trend to 15% before plunged, hitting a bottom of exactly 5% in 1940. Subsequently, the statistic of China stabilized from 1940 to 1945, followed by a surge, reaching a peak at 20% in 1950.  
  
*
While China is known as Chine in some parts of the world, the country must be referred to by the name in the image. The accuracy of the report is heavily scored and that includes the ability of the writer to use the provided information accurately. There should also bea more accurate recognition of the image given. Refer to the "line" chart because that is the precise name of the image. The "graph" is a general tim that should be converted into more accurate terms when reported.  
  
from two times steadily rise to about 12% in 1965 and 7%.  
Specific year references are needed to prevent information confusion in this statement.  
  
The last paragraph has the least analysis presented. Add another sentence or two for a more balanced presentation. It must have a similar presentation to the first 2 paragraphs.
## is it better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary schools rather than secondary school?

  
  
It is irrefutable that foreign languages become more and more essential to get precious jobs. Therefore, children are facilitated to learn the second language at the early ages rather than secondary school. This prevailing trend obviously results in both strengths and shortcomings.  
  
Learning new languages at primary school creates number of positive aspects. The main advantage is that children have ability to acquire knowledge more effortlessly than adolescents. Since they have not been self-conscious yet, children are more confident and courageous when representing their voices, opinions, and action. Result from that, education process takes place naturally instead of obtaining passively. Moreover, because of curiousness, studying fresh things make them more comfortable and fascinated in learning. Another point in its favor is the children' brains programmed to gain up to three languages. Additionally, the young age is the best period to absorb vocabularies as their brains allow them to memorize new things swiftly.  
  
Despite these aforementioned attractions, some drawbacks do exist. Firstly, studying another language can lead to language disorder, which may have negative effects on the development of the linguistic. Children need to concentrate on both mother tongue and foreign languages, so sometimes they can encounter confusion to pick up a word. One additional bad side of early learning foreign language is that unbalanced language level will be occurred in secondary school if primary language education is not homogenized. It will cause the lack of students' enthusiasm when they feel inferior to their peers.  
  
In conclusion, it is worth considering that there are both bright sides and dark sides of learning different language at primary school. The benefit consists of making study process easier and more comfortable while the obstacles are language confusion and different study level. However, from my point of view, the downsides of early learning language are overshadowed by the upsides.
The question posed for this topic is: "Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?" The response of the exam taker is therefore, incorrect. By offering:" This prevailing trend obviously results in both strengths and shortcomings." as a response, a prompt deviation has been created. The response fails to align itself with the provided question. It is not a related discussion presentation.  
  
The essay is of an impressive length.However, the discussion does not connect with the opinion creation instructions. A long essay that does not relate to the prompt is a failing essay. The writer failed to understand the response format requirement. This quite possibly relates to the confusion of the writer in relation to discussion format. Further essay response familiarity is required if the exam-taker is to write relevant opinion presentations.
## the future of live music

  
  
It can be denied that the aid of streaming technology nowadays was more convenient for people who want to enjoy art in their home. Therefore, some people might think live performance became expired. Although I understand the logic behind this sentiment, I still believe that Spotify is a measly substitute for music enthusiasts.  
  
On the one hand, streaming platforms such as Netflix or Hulu could be an affordable option for normal users. Firstly, instead of paying a thousand dollars for each ticket, we just need to spend a trifling fee to enjoy the repository of movie and musical shows. This approach is a wise solution because it not only helps users avoid the financial burden but they can also utilize their remained money to invest in other things. Secondly, crowded spots like music concerts are potential places appearing criminals. Shoplifting, assault, or even murder primarily emerge in these places due to people often do not alert.  
  
On the other hand, I am convinced that dynamic atmosphere and electrifying could only be brought by live shows. The first is that there is no point in staying at home whereas we have an opportunity to shake a famous singer's hand whom we have admired for a long time and I guarantee that this experience is worth each penny. Moreover, if we decide to buy a concert ticket, we will have a chance to get acquainted with many people from other background cultures who may have the same hobbies and they can extend our horizons.  
  
In conclusion, TV with streaming platforms are the best alternative for the masses while in terms of niched formats, I think it cannot be replaced.
The writer cannot expect his arguement to convince the reader of his thisis statement /opinion when he is not convinced that his opinion is true. Why is the idea delivered that of an unclear opinion? The first reasoning paragraph justifies the reasons why streaming services have rendered live performances obsolete. since he is convinced of these reasons validity he has removed the believability of any reasons he may provide for his own opinion. He has failed to deliver a clearly supported personal opinion as required by the major scoring element of the task because he suddenly decided to support both sides.. Only his stated opinion must be presented in this discussion to convince the reader. He could have retained the supporting opinion of the opposite side only if he were to show why that opinion was incorrect when compared to his.  
  
The writer also has a problem using correct English words to form his sentences:  
  
It can be denied that the aid of streaming technology  
So the writer is are saying that streaming technology does not deliver entertainment value?  
  
some people might think live performance became expired.  
- But the writer implied that streaming does not aid in entertainment. Conflicting statements can lead to failed coherence and cohesiveness, as well as Grammar Range and Accuracy scores due to confusing thought references.  
  
The presentation also takes place in real time so current active references should be used throughout.
You should include include the topic accurately so that the readers can know which type of essay is required. I do not know the topic is about " Argumentaty essay" or " Advantages or Disadvantages Essay" so I just can point out some errors in your essay.  
  
- It can be denied that the aid  
=> It can not be denied  
  
or There is no doubt  
  
- instead of paying ~~a~~ thousands of dollar~~s~~ for each ticket ( ticket for what, movie or liveshow)  
- Secondly, crowded spots ... are potential places appearing criminals => you should use relative clause here.
## watching tv by children

  
  
Nowadays, with the development of technology, many modern electronic devices have been used by people of all ages, especially children. One of the most popular equipments that we can easily see in every house is the television. TV has some advantages, however, I think watching TV too often is a waste of time for kids, teenagers or adults.  
  
As everyone knows, television helps us relax, entertain and sometimes learn new things, but it also has a number of drawbacks that we don't know. First, if children watch TV too much a day, their eyes will be exhausted and really dry. After a long time watching television, of course, children will be shortsighted. Second, when teenagers watch TV, they will sit a lot, so they become lazy, hate doing exercises and their bodies will easily get fat. Beside, spending much time watching cartoons, gameshows or films on television can make children addicted to these programs and study less. For example, when kids and children addicted to cartoons, they will think about them all the time and can not concentrate on their lessons at school, so they will get bad scores. Last but not least, teenagers who waste too much time on TV may have some mental problems. In fact, they may have sorrow feeling, violent thought or scared of people and society.  
  
In conclusion, everybody must limit the time spending on watching television and using these time doing exercises, volunteer, join campaigns and more.
The paraphrase + opinion statement should only be 2 sentences that focus on the topic and response.There was no need for the sentence fillers , which still left the essay short of the 250 word requirement. The student also altered the response format from agree or disagree to advantage or disadvantage. This is automatically a failing paragraph. The writer should have used agree or disagree to respond and stay on track with the response format.  
  
The writer continued to offer an A/D consideration in the succeeding paragraphs. The essay has delivered explanations totally unrelated to the task provided. The writer struggled to respond and write a proper answer because he did not understand the question and, was not familiar with the needed response format. He should review essay samples first to familiarize himself with writing expectations for these tasks before trying his hand at writing a response again. There are enough samples at this forum to help him do that. Read and learn from the mistakes of others.