The number of children playing games ~~through internet~~ online has increased slightly over th e years. *(What is the relevance of this to the question or to your response?)* While such games can ~~wander children concentration in~~ distract children while studying, ~~this also helps~~ they can also help students improve their cognitive skills.  
  
Children or ~~even teenager~~ teenagers who ~~addict in playing~~ are addicted to online games will ignore their ~~subject~~ studies, ~~which should be their top priority~~ . It can be noticed that children spend at least two ~~hour~~ hours ~~in finishing their games~~ playing video games, which ~~actually they can spend those time to review~~ could be spent reviewing their materials.*It can be noticed is a weak statement that doesn't support your argument well. Either provide some harder statistics and a source or rephrase the sentence along the lines of "The hours spent playing video games could be dedicated to studying" with no claim about exactly how much time is spent.*In addition, playing games can be such a bad ~~role model for~~ influence on them. Many games ~~contented with bad actions like destroying and fighting~~ contain destruction or violence, hence ~~it is worried children can~~ children may imitate it in their daily life. *You didn't mention this as a drawback in your introductory paragraph--you introduce the focus of your essay as being children distracted from studies on one hand and having improved cognitive skills on the other. So if you're not going to focus only on distraction you should revise your introductory paragraph to reflect that.*  
  
On the other hand, games ~~also can be~~ can also be an alternative to train children's brains~~Due to the reason that games are full of strategies to be finished~~ because finishing a game requires strategy. Playing games can enhance the working of children's brain ~~and~~ ,teach them to be more creative, ~~through problem solving case~~ and develop their problem-solving skills. Besides, games are the fun way for children to learn foreign language. Most ~~of~~ online games using ~~international language~~ foreign languages thus force them to understand the language indirectly.(*This argument seems weak. There are certainly children who will persevere and continue trying to play the game, I'd imagine there are just as many who would just find another one in their language. This only applies to children who must play online games in a different language because they speak a fairly uncommon one, or to children playing fairly simple games that really don't require a tutorial or much reading.*)Additionally, games influences the way children understand about the ~~enhancement~~ advancement of technology which they do not get in ~~the~~ school.  
  
To recapitulate, online games ~~make the children do not focus totally on their study~~ prevent children from focusing on their studies and ~~imitate the action showed on the games~~ lead them to imitate in-game actions. However, playing games can ~~give~~ assist a great deal in brain development (and) language acquisition of children.  
  
Try not to make so many absolute statements as in "children will" or "online video games make children do". No absolute statement is ever really true because there's always exceptions to generalizations. Number two, unless you have some sort of statistic showing that children are really likely to do a certain thing because of video games, then these are just unproven conjectures stated as fact.