dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
I want to improve my writing skills and currently i am no where near to what i want to be. please review this and essay and help me.  
  
Usually, we see people holding various opinions with regard to the who have to take the responsibility of children's miss behaviour and wrong act. Some people are under the impression that parents are responsible for their children's actions. Whereas, we get to see some other people have an opinion contrary to the above one. In my opinion, I believe that children's like a blank state and in developing stages parents have a greater role to play in children's behaviour and awareness. So, parents are responsible for their children's actions.  
  
To begin with, The research on the children's behaviour proved that children's were mainly influenced by their parents. The children's are like a sponge and children's absorb what they exposed to and imitate the same. In early states of children's life, they start learning the language, manners under the guidance of their parents. They used to observe all these information from their parents. If parents are using a good language and children's will also learn the same and use it. So, it is the parent's responsibility to make children's as good persons.  
  
Moreover, it's the parent's duty to teach social behaviour to their children's and discipline them. Say for instance, if the kid goes to the neighbour's house and bring home toys he liked, It's the parent's responsibility to discipline him and teach him not to take anyone's anything without permission. This clearly exemplifies that there is an obvious link between children's behaviour and parents teaching. Thus, parents must be legally liable their children's act.  
  
In conclusion, this analysis, prove that kids act in a way they are brought up by their parents and based on the things they exposed to. parents are solely responsible for kid's act. I advocate that it is necessary to make it legal.
In my opinion, I believe that children's like a blank state and ...  
==> It should be " I believe that children like a blank state and are in developing stages so parents play an important role in children's behaviour and awareness.  
  
Comment: I'm not sure about parents claim responsibility for their children's actions because it's better for children are responsible for their actions. Just small ones.  
  
it legal ==> it's legal  
  
I think you good at writing. Try your best!  
Please check it for me!  
Thanks a lot!  
  
I need three corrections from other people so please forward it to another if you can. Thanks so much!
Hi Venkat-v  
Here some suggestions for you :)  
  
... opinions with regard to the who have to take the responsibility (The is used when "THE" is clear where it refers to}  
  
... not to use So in the first sentence, ...  
So, parents are responsible for their children's actions (you have mentioned it above, if you want to restate it, much better to use other way by using synonym of paraphrase)  
  
In early states of children's life ( do you mean stages?)  
  
if the kid ( try to avoid kid in writing, it is informal word)  
  
Best wisher
Hi Venkat, first of all WELCOME to the Essay Forum Family, I hope you find this website helpful and even more so, valuable to your writing projects. We aim to provide you with the most accurate and comprehensive feedback that will not only strengthen your essay but will also make sure that you are able to develop your writing techniques and discover new ones.  
  
Having said that, please find additional corrections that I would like to suggest for your revision.  
  
- ~~Usually, we~~We usually see people  
- hold~~ing~~ various opinions with regards to ~~the~~ who ~~have~~has to take the responsibility  
- ~~Whereas~~However , we get to see some ~~other~~ people ~~have~~has an opinion contrary to the above one.  
- In my opinion, I believe that children's are like ~~a~~ blank state  
- and in the developing stages  
- parents ~~have~~has a greater role and responsibility to play in their children's behaviour and awareness.  
- ~~So~~Therefore , parents are responsible for their children's actions.  
  
There you have it Venkat, I hope you follow through with the corrections made and for future writing reference, know the right placement or input of the words you choose in your sentences as this will have an overall impact in your essay.
Hi Venkat, no worries at all, we are here to support you in all the endeavors you may have.We aim to provide you with the best feedback and review we can give, as well as encourage you to try different techniques of writing and develop the existing format of writing that you got use to, with the hopes of rediscovering that creative side of you in order to incorporate this in your essay.  
  
Having said that, whenever you're writing, make sure that, first, you understood the goal of the essay, what is asked of you to write about and what will be the focus of the essay, next, make sure that you review the English language rules from time to time, this will not only refresh your memory, it will also give you that much needed reminder on how to use the minor details in the sentence construction as this will have an overall impact in the outcome of the essay.  
  
I hope to review more of your essays very soon and keep writing.
***Topic: Some people say that tourism has many negative effects on the countries that people travel to. How true is this statement? What can tourists can do to reduce the harmful effects of tourism on local cultures and environments?***  
  
Tourism is a smokeless industry which brings many benefits to countries, especially developing countries which can earn much money for their economy. However, when the number of travel companies increase sharply without strict management, this can cause many disadvantages on the destinations of tourists.  
  
In my view, large number of travellers who visit the area of beauty at the same time may cause the lack of accomodations and good services. After that, increasing the price of hotels and restaurants can happen. Local people also have to pay similarly if they go there. Moreover, the appearance of buildings to serve tourist can change the nature of places to visit.  
  
Another negative effect is that tourists do not care about environment pollution. Someone smoke and litter although they can find the trash bin easily. Another even write their names on tree or building to prove that they visited here. However, these environmental issues and noise pollution can be worrying for the locals.  
  
In fact, there are many possitive things that visitors can do. They should find information of their destination and avoid visiting there at the time when it is overcrowded. Travellers also protect the environment, respect the culture of the country that they visit and observe the rules there.  
  
Overall, every countries should develop tourism more as well as enhance management. It is important to protect the tourist areas and reduce the adverse impacts of tourist behaviour. Development combined with effective protection can profit sustainably.
The fundamental part of every modern city is public transportation. Many great towns in the world complete the network by establishing the underground rail system as their integrated-unity. The fact shows that there are three of the largest and busiest underground train system in the Europe. They are located in London, Paris, and Moscow.  
  
The earliest subway was built in London. At that time, the city government stated the regulation that no railroads could go in the city except underground. The industry of this tunnel was made by engineer Marc Brunnel for the pedestrian way. Afterward, the project developed to be the railway system.  
  
Paris instituted designing an underground train service to compete London's. The earliest zone of the system was not opened until in 1990. Meanwhile, Russia opened The Moscow Metro in 1935. It refers to the architecture of London Tube. When Stalin claimed the power, he utilized the stations as showcase of Russian art, culture, and technology. The stations consist of statuary, painting, and mosaics.
**How Wild Animals Are Hacking Life in the City  
By Christine Dell'Amore**  
  
It's evident that some wild animals have survived in the city, even though they should be placed in the wild forest as well as their nature. However, new urbanites force animals to learn how to change their lifestyles to suit human's life. Human has the impact on animals changing and the role on what to do with these animals. There are several example of this. Firstly, Wily coyote, which has spread into nearly countries in few decades ago. They ingest almost anything while living in cities. Secondly, research also found that none of the rural raccoons could get into the trash can whilst 80 percent of the city animals did. Thirdly, the food determines how the ants live for longer or reproduce while they seem okay ingesting junk. That three aforementioned examples can show about their ability to evolve as they adapt to cities according to their personalities. Unfortunately, urbanization is not suit as well as animals behave, even though animals are allowed to adapt to cities. Experts said that it's time to make them as one of us, as cities where is filled with wild animals are just good places to be.
Welcome to the EssayForum, Oktoberlin! Here on EF, you can ask for help and get some insights regarding essay writing. On top of that, you can also share your knowledge to other members as you did previously. I hope you keep up this good work because you will get more by sharing.  
  
Now let's have a closer look on your essay. Firstly, I can say that the above essay is well-written. You are able to deliver your ideas orderly and clearly. Still, I suggest you not to use contraction often considering this can be considered as academic writing. This may lead someone to keep using contraction during writing and thus make the writing looks informal. Furthermore, there are several notes as I mentioned as follows:  
  
- Thirdly, the food determines how the ants live ~~for~~ longer or reproduce while...  
- ~~That~~These three aforementioned examples ~~can~~ show ~~about their~~the ability of different animals to evolve as they ...  
- Unfortunately, urbanization is not suitable for some~~as well as~~ animals ~~behave~~ , even though animals are ...  
- Experts said that it's time to ~~make them as one of us~~consider animal as important as the human being , ~~as cities~~~~where is filled~~by creating a habitant with these wild animals live there~~are just good places to be~~ .  
  
Good luck with your practice!
**Ten ways to have a better conversation by Calste Headlee (TEDsummary)**  
  
What the amazing performance by Caleste Headlee, a girl who taught us 10 things we need to apply in the way we talking to other people without feeling bored and wasting our time, even if those people are the one we do not like and attract us.  
  
Let me point them up :  
1. Be focus. When we talk to other people, do not playing your smartphone or everything else that will disturb your concentration.  
2. Do not talk too much about yourself. The big reason is, you talk to someone else to learn something from them since everybody is master of different field.  
  
3. Begin with 5W+1H question. It is to make the gradual conversation.  
4. Let it flow. We just need to talk all the things that come out your brain.  
5. Be honest. When you talk to someone, then you do not know something, say it truly that you do not know.  
6. Do not talk the experience that makes you focus on talking all about you.  
7. Try not to repeat yourself as it will make people you talk is getting bored.  
8. Forget the details about you because do not care about the details of you such as when were you born, when was the last time you got a present, or something else.  
  
9. This is the most important one that many people always ignore it, listen. The problem that people never realize is, they listen to reply not to understand.  
  
10. Be brief and be interesting.  
  
Through her presentation, she told us to go out and find someone to be talked with as talking is not that hard.
*Hi Russell.  
In this moment, I do not suggest about your summary because the basic rule for creating the summary you did not follow. Keep in your mind that summarizing is an activity where you watch a video or read an article and you rewrite them, but you use your own words. Your summary is like a report because you did not write systematically. When you summarize, you are supposed to focus the structure of the summary. First, you display the introduction sentence about where you take its resource. For example, because you took from TED's website, you can write "THIS SUMMARY TAKEN ON TED'S WEBSITE PRESENTS A TOPIC DEMONSTRATED BY.... ABOUT......"  
  
After that, you elucidate the topic explained by the speaker. However, you do not forget to include supporting/ reasons sentences which explain or strengthen your topic. It is important that you can explain the basic elements of the summary (WHAT, WHY, WHEN, WHERE, WHO, AND HOW). On the other hand, you do not review the data in detail.*  
  
Hopefully, this suggestion can help you to make the summary better.  
keep spirit  
GOOD LUCK
**TED Summary by Tai Lopez (The law of 33%)**  
  
Tai Lopez told us on his TED show about how important our life is and gave us the law of 33 %.  
Make our life more useful by servicing people; all we have to do is socialize with other people. Associate with 33 % of people who were younger than us, hence we can mentor them about the things that we know. Next 33 % with our peers, the same age with us, thus we can share about anything. The last but not least was 33% with elderly people or people older than us.  
  
It is all about getting the master to mentor us. If we want to know how to have a million dollar company, we need to find someone who had 10 million dollar company to learn with. "Mentor is not always those one who still alive, even if they had passed away, they still can mentor you, by guiding you through their biography, all of them are in my library" said Tai.  
  
Reading book is something that people ignore since it makes them boring. Tai suggests treating our books like friends.  
  
I would like to write down Tai's statement that really amazed me. "If we want a good life, we need to follow the rules, be humble, persevere, read more, and tough enough to get a good life".  
  
Surely it would be that hard, but 'hard' will make it 'great'
Hi Russell..  
These below are my thoughts about your summary. Hopefully, those can help you greatly and finalize yours  
  
~~Make~~ MAKING our life IS more useful (...); all we have to do ~~is~~ ARE ~~socialize~~ SOCIALIZATION with other people. Associat~~e~~ ING(You have to make it as GERUND to find proper meaning) with 33 % (...) younger than us~~, hence we~~ can PRESENT A WAY TO mentor them about ...  
  
~~Next~~ BESIDES THAT, 33 % ~~with~~ OF our peers~~,~~ WHO HAVE the same age with us~~, thus we~~ can share about anything EACH OTHER. ~~The last~~ LASTLY, ~~but not least was~~ MORE THAN 33% IS COLLEAGUES with elderly people ...  
  
... someone who had 10 million dollarS OF INCOME THE company to learn with. "Mentor is not always ~~those~~ one who still aliveS, even if they had (...) through their biography~~,~~ BECAUSE all of them ...  
  
... since it makes them ~~boring~~ BORED. Tai suggests treating our books IS like friends.(You have to remember that each good paragraph has at least 3 sentences)
David Gallo as marine biologist said that the earth has the amount of water and we called it ocean, besides we can be divided into two parts between shallow water and deep water. This is will be focused on the ecosystems in the deepest water with color which is black or dark. First, they can find corals with sophisticated technology such as submarines and robots until the floor ocean. It is an amazing place with a full of life creatures, while it found in the deepest trenches of Mexico. Then, find some animals such as jellyfish which life in a colony and it gives an amazing color because of it is habitat in the sea floor. On the other hand, poisonous water in deep on water also exist in here, and also a river in the sea floor makes it wonderful and beautiful of marine life. David Gallo recommended that people's pattern of life have to changes for avoiding damage in the ocean since seven billion people give impact on ocean such as drink and for food.  
  
ted.../talks/deep\_ocean\_mysteries\_and\_wonders
Hi Riandi..  
These are my thoughts towards your summary. I hope you review my notes and deal with them.  
GOOD LUCK  
  
Gallo as A marine biologist (...), and ~~we~~ THAT call~~ed~~ S it AS THE ocean~~, besides~~ . (Keep in your mind that you cannot combine two sentences without using a conjunction)~~we~~ THAT can be divided into ...  
  
... deepest water with color ~~which is~~(You suppose to reduce this conjunction) black or dark.  
... find corals with A sophisticated technology such as ...  
..., while it ~~found~~ FINDS in the deepest trenches of Mexico. ~~Then~~ AFTER THAT, find some animals such as jellyfish ~~which life~~ LIVING in a colony and ~~it~~ give~~s~~ an amazing color because ~~of~~(You have to remember difference of use of because and because of. After because of, it has to be followed by ONLY NOUN) it is habitat ...  
  
On the other hand, THE poisonous water (...) and beautiful of THE marine'S life.  
... that people's ~~pattern of~~ life OF PATTERNS have to change~~s~~(TO INFINITIVE) for avoiding THE damage in the ocean (...) impact on THE ocean such as TRASH FROM drink and ~~for~~ food.
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People now can better protect the environment than they could in the past.  
  
**My composition**  
---------------  
With the rapid development of technology, humans have enhanced their living quality dramatically. Meanwhile, however, our activities also affect the surrounding environment, both intentionally and unintentionally. Recently, there is an issue concerning about whether we can protect the environment better than we could in the past. As far as I am concerned, people can do much better in protecting the environment nowadays than before.  
  
First of all, today's widespreadness of environmental knowledge helps people foster an intenser sense of protecting the environment than ever before. When I was in elementary school, my science teachers repeatedly told us the limit availability of natural resources an the significance of the well-being of ecosystem to human beings. Such a deep-rooted sense influences our daily behaviors. We put the litter into trash cans, turn off the light when leaving rooms and close the tap after washing our hands, which were not done so well by people living in several decades ago.  
  
Second, thanks to the advanced technology we have developed, we have more tool to protect the environment. For instance, the wild giant panda was once an endangered species in China. In order to protect pandas, a research base of giant panda breeding is established in the Sichuan Province of China where this endangered species is now well protected and bred by scientists and professionals with modern technology. The examples of protecting endangered animals like giant panda are too numerous to mention. Moreover, with the help of genetic technology, some scientists are trying to save the critically endangered species by cloning them.  
  
Some people believe that modern technology does more harm than good to our environment, arguing that the wastewater and waste gases released from factories can pollute rivers and air. However, I believe that in the most regions of the world, the waste treatment technology makes it possible to reduce the pollution they may bring about. As a matter of fact, in most cases, the more developed is the technology, the better control of negative effects it may have. For instance, it is reported that the vehicles and factories in the early 20th century produced much more significant amounts of air pollution than they do today.  
  
To summarise, people nowadays can protect the environment better than before since they have a better sense of controlling themselves and their technology. I believe that in the future, advanced theories and technology will even improve the environment to make it better than any time in history.  
  
(Basic grammatical and spelling mistakes are corrected)  
------------  
Any suggestion on the structure of passages and sentences, corrections of misusage of particular words will be appreciated!
It's a good concise essay but there are some things that just sound awkward.  
  
"intenser sense of protecting the environment" sounds off, try "a greater incentive to protect the environment?"  
First sentence in the second paragraph, "tool" change to plural  
There are other things like this, but I'm sure you can comb through and straighten them out no problem :)  
  
Other than small things like that, i would suggest adding statistics or citations to research information to the essay. That way, it establishes credible sources to back up your argument.
This article is made by Amanda MacMilan and talking about how to get happiness in your family. First of all, many research found that going anywhere with your family members can increase your relationships each other and also make you feel happier as part of your family. However, new study which shown by researcher discovered that there was another activity that makes you closer with your family; Spending your time at home with your family makes you feel more happiness and it is more effective way rather than taking vacation together. According to Baylor University which doing surveyed for several people, it is found that people who spent their leisure time by stayed at home is happier than people who traveled with they own families. Karen K. Melton, Ph.D., assistant professor of child and family studies said that it can be happen as our brain is concentrated to develop on new knowledge - for instance being part of new culture and new people in a strange area - just a little 'brain power' available to focus on their relationships with family. Meanwhile, it cannot be occurred when we stay at home, because we can focus to built relationships with our family and it makes us long-lasting happiness.  
  
time.com/4526901/home-time-key-to-family-happiness/?xid=homepage
Hi Mem77  
  
Here some suggestions for you :)  
  
This article ~~is~~wasmade (written is much better by Amanda MacMilan and it talked about how to get happiness in your family.  
  
... family members can ~~increase~~ (tighten) your personal relationship ~~each other~~one another ( each other for two people only, while one another for more than two people)  
  
also makes (it refers to going somewhere, so it should be singular) you feel happier as  
  
... makes you feel ~~more happiness~~happier and it is more effective ...  
  
new study which was shown by researcherit is found (...) their leisure time by staying at home is happier (...) traveled with ~~they~~their own families  
  
Best wishes