dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
## Writing Task 1 IELTS - Describing Maps

  
  
The map shows the comparison of a town development from 1990 to 2005.  
  
Over the period, there was a change from a small village to a modern town. The changes consisted of transportation, accommodation, and business sectors.  
  
An airport was built next to a school in the northeast town, while the southeast development saw a new ferry port linked to a new railway from the east to west town. The town also saw the modernization of accommodation. For instance, the houses in the southwest were a marked decrease and was replaced by apartments just across the supermarket. Similarly, the apartment construction was also taken place in the northwest near the lake.  
  
In terms of business sectors, an establishment of the new supermarket was taken place in southwest of the town. Meanwhile, a factory was constructed in the southeast just near of the ferry port and railway. However, these developments caused a noticeable decrease in the number of trees there.
There is a problem with the way the report depicts the changes in the maps (not map) provided. All the report describes are the changes that were made, over 2 paragraphs. The essay is therefore incorrectly/improperly developed. There is an under development in the presentation as the old urban design was never referenced in the essay. This makes the modern representation incomplete in analysis.  
  
In order to create a comprehensive analytical report. There needs to be a standard before and after presentation per paragraph. So the images need to be grouped into related content for equal discussion presentations per paragraph. This essay tries to do that unsuccessfully since the pre design is not really indicated alongside the post description.
## how a small town become an urban town

  
  
The maps shows information about a town development progress from 1990 to 2005.  
Overall, there was a significant progress that change small town become an urban town in the last fifteen years especially in three kind of facilities; transportation, business sector and accommodation.  
  
An airport was built next to school in the northeast town, where the southeast development saw a new ferry port linked to a new railway from the east to west town.  
  
In business sector, a factory was built replacing tress and houses in southeast area, while southwest development saw a new supermarket around the residential area. Meanwhile, a river runs through the middle of the town which divided the tow in two. Talking about accommodation saw constructed some houses that replace a lot of green area in northeast and several apartments were developed in west town close to the lake. In the northeast, two houses were constructed around hospital.
This exam taker has not fully utilized the word count for this task in aid of receiving a higher final score or considerations per consideration. 152 words does not allow the examiner to fully consider the English comprehesion, thinking, and writing skills of the examinee. While the limited word count does help one to avoid creating writing errors, it also has a drawback since the text that was provided could use more clarity in terms of explanation and analysis. Things that this report lacks.  
  
With regards to formatting considerations, the writer should have used a 4 paragraph discussion format here. He should also have at least 3 sentences per paragraphs. There are a few run-on sentences here and there in this presentation. The writer did not really make an effort to present a well scoring paper. All things considered, he just wanted to present a completed paper, not a high scoring one.
## The maps showed the comparison of a city expanded from 1990 to 2005.

  
  
Over the period, the area witnessed dramatic changes, from 1990 to 2005, the city center saw marvelous developments, there were some grouping of the development a city: started from the accommodation, transportation, business center.  
  
During the 15 years, a ferry harbor was built near Railways Station, while in the southeast of The Airport was development. The new railways were developed from the east to the west. A Harbor was constructed at the edge of the sea, from the west to the east to the factory. Meanwhile in the north of the factory was built airports, behind the school.  
  
The apartments were built in the southwest and three apartments were developed in the northwest near to the lake. In the northeast, three houses were constructed behind the hospital. Between 1990 to 2005 the business center was built. The Supermarket was built in the southwest and replaced the old houses and trees. A Factory was built in the southeast while demolishing houses, and the goverment of the city modernized transportation ways.
The task accuracy of this essay in relation to the correct report format will be a failing score. A summary overview needs to be at least 2 sentences long, with at least 40 words typed into that paragraph. The trending statement is problematic in terms of thought presentation. There is no clarity to the structure used for the idea presented. Additionally, the writer exaggerates in the statement, leading to an unwarranted claim that makes it unreliable to believe. By the way, the writer also forgot to indicate how may maps were used to illustrate the changes provided.  
  
This is a 3 reporting paragraph essay. the writer only focused on explaining the changes provided within 2 paragraphs. This is incorrect since the response format expectation is:  
  
Par. 2: Old city plan description  
Par. 3: New city plan description  
Par. 4: Comparison of changes (optional)  
  
Basically, this should be a 200 word report presentation.  
  
The writer must focus on improving his timeline referencing. He needs to learn how to properly write in past and past perfect tenses. I mention past perfect tenses in particular because that was the main focus for writing assessment in this particular task.
***The importance of biodiversity is being more widely recognized as increasing numbers of species come under threat.  
## What can be done to maintain biodiversity?***  
  
Humans' activities are causing damage to the environment, accelerating the pace of climate change. These environmental problems lead to a reduction in biodiversity, putting many animal and plant species under threat. To reverse this trend, both governments and individuals must take action to reduce the impact.  
  
First, governments must conduct breeding programmes to improve biodiversity. In the programmes, endangered species can be nurtured in wildlife sanctuaries to breed in captivity to reduce the chance of going extinct. After reaching adequate numbers, those animals would be reintroduced into the wild to exist and give offspring.  
  
Second, nations must preserve left natural habitats and formulate new protected areas. For decades, natural habitats have disappeared by deforestation and waste dumping; eventually, there has been a drastic decrease in wild species. In case the breeding programme is successful, but there is a lack of natural habitats, endangered species might decline again.  
  
Finally, to protect the natural habitats for endangered species, it is vital to emphasise individuals' responsibility. People should raise their awareness of ecosystem preservation and environmental protection. Moreover, by recycling items and reducing waste, people can reduce garbage in landfills and protect forests from being exploited for commercial purposes. Therefore, wild animals and plants could have natural environments to survive.  
  
In conclusion, preserving biodiversity must be done by governments and individuals through practical actions: implementing breeding programmes, maintaining natural habitats, and protecting the environment. Humans are an organism in the biodiversity, so protecting wild species means protecting humans' existence.
The essay does not meet the minimum word count of 250 words. Deductions based on the missing word count will be applied to the task accuracy score, which means the essay will start with a failing preliminary score. That is not how the exam taker wants to start this essay. He must write at least 250 words to avoid potential deductions based on technicalities. Due to this deduction, the essay might be prevented from achieving a passing score when all the deductions per section are considered.  
  
A review and comparison of the original prompt against the writer's interpretation will show that there are very little similarities between the provided topic and the version the writer developed. This lack of proper connection with the original topic and presentation will mean that the task accuracy score for this essay will be failing due to the prompt deviation. There are certain aspects that are similar but the overall presentation changed the basis of the discussion.  
  
Therefore, it is not important that I review the discussion paragraphs provided at this point. The writer has already made sure that he will not receive a passing score with this essay right from the start, based on the 2 mistakes he made in the presentation. It is important that the writer realize the importance of meeting the word count and prompt adherence in the task 2 essay. Once the writer does not meet these minimum requirements, he will receive a failing score, regardless of his discussion paragraphs.
## Percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world

  
  
The given charts indicate the figures in terms of using water for varied intentions in six regions of the world. Overall, central Asia was the top of using water for agriculture, while Europe took up a majority of water for industrial use.  
  
When it comes to agricultural use, the figures of Central Asia, SouthEast Asia, South America and Africa accounted for more than half of the whole groups, saying 88%, 81%, 71% and 84%. However, the percentage of these countries occupied a minority of industrial and local purposes . Particularly, the figure of SouthEast Asia mostly doubled that of Central Asia and Africa, while the number of South America doubled that of Central Asia regarding manufacture use. By contrast, there was 19 percent in domestic use of South America, which was twice as much as that of three remaining agricultural nations.  
  
Regarding two industrial countries, their figures took up just over a half and around a half of the whole categories, while the numbers for agriculture intention took up over a third, with the figures being 39% and 32%. Interestingly, these countries occupied a larger percentage of domestic use in comparison with that of agricultural countries, which accounted for a small minority/ a small portion (15% and 13% respectively).
A summary overview must be complete in its explanation of the important figures and references from the given image. That means, a specific image type and number of images presented should kick off the essay That is because the image number and image type will be the basis of the mental picture that the reader will use to better understand the provided information. Since the trending statement indicates 2 out of 6 reference points, there should be a preceding sentence that enumerates all 6 of these considerations to allow the reader to again, gain a better understanding of the information short form in relation to the discussion focus.  
  
The writer does not clearly use the image measurements in the reporting paragraphs. Due to the incorrect or confusing percentage placements, the reader comes away from this essay more confused than informed by the shared information. It is important that the writer learns how to write these report types in a clear and accurate manner. One way he can do this is by reading the stock market section of the newspapers. The task 1 essay shares similarities in information presentation with this section of newspapers and can very well help the writer learn how to write a proper analysis report for this task.
***Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this***  
  
## Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

  
  
People have different perspectives about whether children should be taught by their parents in the home or their teacher in the school to be good citizens in society. Whereas teachers give theory about being good in the community, I believe that their parents also become role model to practice their children. Therefore, position of teachers and parents are essensial to develop children.  
  
On the one hand, the teachers of children in the school teach theory which can be used to be good citizens because it looks up important to understand why people must have good action in the community. For example, when childern have good attitude, they can understand how to treat others well. With this reason, understanding about theory of good attitude is important to support being children of good attitude in the long term.  
  
On the other hand, the parents who have role to show their children are more essensial because they can teach through practice. And then, it can give more effect to obtain many friends. I take my friend as example, he who is taught by his parents about good attitude can get more friends in his community and be role model to others. As the result, the parents can influence their children to have good attitude in the society.  
  
In conclusion, I can understand why the teachers give theory and parents give practice to children because it makes up to support each others. While they understand how to treat other people, they also can get friend and can become role model in the community. So, both of them complete each other to make golden people in the society.
The first sentence in this presentation contains cut and paste information from the original presentation that will lead to a deduction based on the writer's inability to use alternative word references to create the thought presentation. The writer also creates a misrepresentation of the source of information by referencing that teachers and parents have presented these opinions when the opposite is true. There were no references to these groups so the premise of the discussion is now incorrect. So this will add to the task accuracy deductions of the exam taker. The writer's opinion is also confusing because he does not clearly represent which of the 2 opinions he actually supports.  
  
Response format wise the writer also confuses the discussion presentation since he does not use the correct discussion format for the presentation. The correct format is:  
  
Public opinion + explanation of supporting reasons + Writer's opinion (support or non-support) = Completely developed discussion paragraph  
  
The biggest mistake of this essay is that the writer explains his personal opinion in the concluding statement. As a task 2 essay, the writer's opinion cannot be presented in the last paragraph since that should only be recapitulating on the previous discussion points. The writer created an open ended essay that wil result in an automatic failing score due to the lack of proper concluding considerations in the final paragraph presentation. Next time, just summarize the previous discussion points. That way the correct concluding summary will be presented for scoring.  
  
As there are several ways to approach this discussion, the writer should make sure to learn about how to respond using either:  
  
1. 2 public opinion discussion paragraphs + 1 writer's opinion paragraph  
2. Public opinion + writer's opinion paragraph discussion presentations  
  
These are the 2 most acceptable discussion formats for this writing prompt. Remember to use a mix of 3rd person group and first person singular pronouns in the paragraphs to meet the GRA requirements.
***Topic:  
Some people believe that success in life comes from taking risks. Others believe that success results from careful planning.  
In your opinion, what does success come from?***  
## Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

  
  
Leading a successful life is one of the imperative targets each individual wants. To reach that, some supporters believe in the importance of being adventurous while others attach great importance to detailed upcoming plans. I suppose that both of these factors are the backbone of anyone's brilliant achievements.  
  
Hundreds of reasons can be listed to support the decisive role of risk-taking and careful planning to succeed. In fact, when starting to actualize any plans, people are instinctively wary of numerous failures to cope with in the foreseeable future and then tend to delay their aspirations. Otherwise, if one individual accepts to venture, that means she is daring to act and cope with all hurdles during the execution of the plan. Besides, a detailed chain of action is also necessary to assess risks, minimize damages and shorten the path to success. Taking Coco Chanel as an example, despite living in a masculine society, she still renovated conventional outfits of women based on their own interests instead of men's as before. Her accomplishment had been done by meticulous planning from seeking potential customers to expanding various products. Nowadays, Chanel has overcome many objections to successfully becoming a powerful brand transforming the fashion world.  
  
From my perspective, in addition to drawing clear plans or encountering risks, passion is an overwhelming drive for people to reach their goals. Firstly, passion is what generates the desire for people to resiliently power over setbacks or sacrifice a massive amount of time to organize long-term strategies heading toward completing targets. Successful novelists, film directors, scientists, world-class athletes, and other people who have risen to the top of their fields all possess a deep motivation to work extraordinarily hard at something. For instance, Harland Sanders still started his own business at 65 years old after 1009 failed attempts thanks to being passionate about cooking.  
  
In conclusion, both internal and external factors such as knowledge, motivation, and environment affecting one's success are worth considering and improving. To achieve that, each person is required to be persistent and optimistic in any situation.  
  
*Note: I would be happy if you give me some feedback and even a band score as well. Thank you for spending time answering!*
The writer presented a personal opinion in the opening sentence instead of merely restating the given topic covering 2 point of view sentences. That first sentence will be considered a prompt deviation since it states a fact that is not supported nor implied by the original presentation. The writer will continously lose points for any references that is non-supported by the given prompt discussion. Play by the rules, interpet the topic using only the presented information. That way deductions can and will be avoided in terms of scoring considerations.  
  
Due to the way the discussion question was framed, the comparative discussion format that the writer opted to use is highly acceptable for the presentation. It can be said that success in life comes from both of the points of view presented. However, the writer used too many word to explain himself. In an actual test, this overexplanation will cause him to write an incomplete essay since he only has 40 minutes to complete the task based on scoring considerations. There are clear areas where the writer will receive point deductions based on all the rubic considerations since he did not bother to review and edit the work to lessen the scoring deductions. Merely writing without considering the scores for each section will result in a failing essay presentation. A long essay will always result in a failing presentation like this one.
***Some human activities have negative effects on plant and animal species.  
Some people think it is too late to do anything about this problem while others think effective measures can be taken to improve this situation.***  
  
## Discuss both views and give your opinion.

  
  
In this day and age, it is very clear to see the impact of human activities on flora and fauna. Although the government have taken measures to improve the matter, there some believe that it is too late to reverse the consequences. But in my point of view, living creatures still could be saved, and we need to take effective remedies to make that happen.  
  
On the one hand, it cannot be denied that humans have been negatively affecting the ecosystem for a long time. Thousands of trees have been cut down by us for buildings, skyscrapers, and roads,..., the animals are being hunted to serve human interests, which leads to the extinction of some species. So, it is easy to understand why some people have a negative view of this problem. In fact, Vietnam used to have a large number of tigers but in recent years, there are only very few tigers still alive and most of them are being cared in nature conservation areas.  
  
On the other hand, it is not impossible to improve this issue. I firmly believe that there are a lot of things governments and individuals are capable of dealing with this. The authorities have taken measures to minimize anthropogenic activities, more and more movements to fight against harmful activities that impact the environment. For example, in Vietnam, due to improved public awareness, the forest cover ratio has increased from 38,7% in 2008 to 42% in 2020.  
  
In conclusion, this topic causes a lot of arguments but I personally think that we need to be responsibility to protect the only planet we have.
The prompt restatement contains inaccuracies because it comes across as a part of the writer's personal opinion instead of being an interpretation of the original prompt. That is because it makes factual claims that cannot be found / are not contained in the original prompt. It is best to never merge the personal point of view of the author with the restatement because of this problem. It would be better to save any personal insight for the writer's opinion section.  
  
Punctuation usage is a problem in this presentation. Specifically, the writer's confusion as to how punctuation marks are correctly used. Here is a big hint: Use it one at a time, never successively. That means, you cannot use a comma, ellipses, then a comma again. It does not make sense in the sentence structure and it does not make sense in terms of punctuation usage rules either. This error is an example of a reason why the essay will receive a failing GRA score.  
  
Instructions indicate that the writer has to compare his personal opinion against the public opinion. It is this back and forth comparison that creates the comprehensive discussion and clear writer's opinion (per point of view). What the writer has presented is a personal opinion focused essay which will limit the scoring potential of the essay. He only covered 1 out of 3 discussion expectations. The essay is not properly developed and will have limited scoring potential because of it.
I think your answer goes a little bit off the topic as the question is about the fact that it is "too late" to make any meaningful improvements. Therefore, the first paragraph should focus on the reason why it is "too late", and the second should explain why it is not "too late".  
  
Moreover, the connection thorough your essay is another problem.  
  
If you find this contribution helpful please give me a like.  
Thank you and wish you achieve your targeted band score.