dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
**Some people believe famous people's support towards international aid organizations draws the attentions to the public. Others think celebrities make the problems less important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.**  
  
It is true that the question of how important the famous people's support towards international aid organizations is. While there are some people think that celebrities would make problems less appreciable , I argue that they could attract more attentions.  
  
On the on hand, there is a variety of reasons why many people underestimate the famous people's effects associated with global aid campaigns. Firstly, there are some singers or actresses take part in international programs for the aim of exploiting without enthusiasm. Instead of raising funds and supporting strongly, they use these world organizations to attain their goals which enhance their reputations. Secondly, when the celebrities participate in these organizations, people would tend to concentrate on them much more than the objection of plans. This makes the purpose of the support go to eclipse.  
  
On the other hand, I do believe that the famous have a great influence on the aid organizations. One reason is that they would take advantage of the well-known to spread the campaigns thoroughly thanks to a huge number of fans. Moreover, celebrities could hold many live shows or advertisements to raise money for funds and inspire to followers. For instance, My Tam is famous for not only having a great career but also taking philanthropic actions or charitable donations in Vietnam. Famous people are able to make the international fund more confident and public, therefore, the aid aims would become successful easily.  
  
In conclusion, although there are some throwbacks when celebrities participate in the global aid organizations to some extent, it seems to me that it is more advantageous for the community by the famous people's support as well as their voluntary activities.
Hello i will give you suggestion:  
  
**It is true that the question of how important ...**  
In the paragraph 1 you should write about:  
1. Some background of the question topic ( para phrase the question)  
2. tell the reader what will be in you essay or  
3.Additional information  
4. Thesis statement (your idea/ response towards the task in the question).  
  
Check your spelling:  
On the ~~on~~one hand, there is a ...
**To learn effectively, children need to eat a healthy meal at school.  
How true is this statement?  
Whose responsibility is it to provide food for school children ?**  
  
The healthy food can affect the learning ability of children. Today, manage the child foods to keep healthy certain have some difficulties. However, the child maybe not only doing activities in the home, but also spend much their time in the school. Thus, the problem of healthy foods for children is the parents and schools responsibility.  
  
The parents can control the child foods by giving attention to the favorite food of their child. In additionally, the parents can makes some meals for children before going to school. By this way, the child can save their pocket money to do not buy something snack that unhealthy or not hygiene in outside of parent's guide.  
  
On the other hand, the teacher can took their roles in giving children some acknowledgment of healthy food compositions by studying process in the class. For example, the teacher should be explaining the child about the effects of consume unhealthy foods for their brain and growth stage, and giving warn to the child for avoiding the foods that contains too much flavors. The school also can provides any healthy foods in the canteen such as reduces some snacks with sweeteners and keep produces hygiene and nutritious foods like pour chicken, egg rolls or meatball in food stalls that around of the school.  
  
To sum up, the healthy foods is not mean problem for the child as long as the parents and the teachers in schools took their right position as children's guide in selection the best food to be consume for their child maximum grown and brain capability as long as childhood stage.  
  
(266 words)
Hi, here are some suggestions for you:  
-The parents can make~~s~~  
-... by giving attention to ~~the favorite food of their child~~their favorite food  
-the teacher can ~~took~~take their roles  
-the effects of ~~consume~~consuming unhealthy foods  
- and giving ~~warn~~ to the child . I think " warn " doesn't fit this context, i suggest some (good) advice  
-too ~~much~~many flavors  
-The school also can ~~provides~~provide any healthy foods  
- the best food to be ~~consume~~consumed for their child  
I think you need check some basic faults such as : The passive voice, modal verns + V ( bare)
Hallo sarlinda.. here my suggestion for you.. hope it helps!  
  
The healthy food can affect **to** the learning ability of children. Today, manage the child foods to keep healthy certain have some difficulties.(This statement does not have connection to the question)  
  
*You have not answer for the first question about how true this statement. You only paraphrase the statement and you just answer for the second question.*  
  
good luck!
Hello Sarlinda!  
Allow me to give you some suggestion :)  
  
Today, manage the child foods to keep healthy certain have some difficulties.  
this sentences do not relate with the prompt. It will better if you explain you last sentence before this sentence.  
  
... control the child foods by giving attention to children's favorite food.  
  
In additionally, the parents can ...  
Additionally -> adverb  
Addition -> Noun  
In addition or additionally  
  
By this way, the child can ...  
It is just a suggestion for you for a better sentence structure.  
By this way, the child can save their ~~pocket~~ money by do not buy unhealthy snack outside parent's guide  
  
**Hope it helps you :)**
The bar chart shows how the levels of satisfaction customer toward the quality of nation's airlines in the US while the table illustrates the information about the proportion of satisfaction in particular subjects of flying journey in 1999, 2000, and 2007. Overall, there was a rise in satisfaction of domestic airlines work while the comfort of seat aspect only can be found in 2007.  
  
The percentage of customer who satisfied with the airlines stood at the lowest percentage 65 % in 1999. Then, the satisfaction of customer increase annually until reached the peak at 72% in 2007. In contrast, the proportion of dissatisfaction customer was at the highest level in 1999. After that, there had been an annual decline in this category until hit the lowest proportion under 25% in 2007.  
  
The satisfaction with specific subject in courtesy of flight attendants was the highest during three periods 88%, 90%, and 92% respectively. Courtesy of check-in or gate agents achieved the peak at 89% in 2000 while for the price of ticket reached the greatest in 2007. There had been a stable proportion for schedule category in the last two periods at 79%. Lastly, having satisfied feeling toward the comfortable of seat only in 2007 for about 47%.  
  
*
***To learn effectively, children need to eat healthy meal at school. How true is this statement? Whose responsibility is it to provide food for school children?***  
  
Brain children still experience development. It usually use every time especially when children study at the school. There are some people say that to study effectively. Children have to costumer healthy meals. I personally, extremely agree with this statement, so healthy food is necessary for children's brain.  
  
School is a place that almost most of the children activities hold at school. It can influence what is meal that consumed by schoolchildren. There is a study that states an effective learning can be resulted by meal that enrich with nutrients. Because meal that contain of high protein, diverse vitamins and minerals can help toddlers to receive lesson fastly. For example chicken soup, fruit salad and milk. Canteen in school has to provides those healthy food. So, they can be easy to consume it, and they can increase learning capacity.  
  
On the other hand, parent has responsibility for provides food for their children, because every children having their breakfast and dinner in their homes. So, it important to give their best quality of meal. Parent is a most close person for the children who know what menu their like. When children don't have appetite for eating, parent know what the alternative menu to their children, especially health cuisines. Every parent will their children to be smart person in the future. So, they role as parents have big responsibility to give their children healthy meal.  
  
To sum up, increasing an effective learning can be resulted which children consume healthy food that enriched nutrition from canteen school. Besides, parent also has responsibility to give their children good meal to rising study performance children.
**HELLO MISS @badafebriani17 ^\_^**  
**LET ME GIVE YOU SOME CORRECTION :)**  
  
It usually use=>USES every time ...  
Children have to costumer=>CONSUME healthy meals.  
  
... an effective learning can ~~be resulted by meal that enrich with nutrients~~ => RESULT BY MEAL THAT ENRICH WITH NUTRIENTS . Because meal that contain ~~of~~ =>CONTAINS high protein, diverse vitamins...  
  
... provides those healthy food=>THAT HEALTHY FOOD  
  
Parent is a ~~most close~~ =>CLOSEST person for the children ...  
  
**GOOD LUCK :)**
It usually ~~use~~ USES every time ...  
... that to study effectively, (you should put comma here. do not seperate this sentence, i think it should be in one sentence) children have to costumer (consume) healthy meals.  
  
*Brain children still experience development. It usually ...*  
  
for the content of your introduction, you have success paraphrase the statement on question. However you have not answer all of the question clearly. you did not put the statement that this idea is true or not. even you did not give the answer for the second question. Let me try to give you an example :  
  
*"Children must consume nutrition food at school to study effectively. This is true notion since meal supports the activity of brain when studying. Teachers and parents should responsible to give healthy meal for them."*
1. Brain children still experience development.  
--------> children's brain are still experience to develop.  
  
There are some people saying that to study effectively, c hildren need to consume healthy meals.  
  
Personally, I extremely agree with this statement that healthy food ...  
  
place that almost ~~most~~ of ~~the~~ children doing many activities.  
  
5. It can influence what is meal that consumed by schoolchildren.  
It can be influences most of children what the nutrition that can be consume by them.
The advancement of technology has made travelling easier than ever before. So, more people wish to travel for different purposes because of low-cost airlines, other facilities. Also, I strongly agree with the idea of travelling around the world that has been brought numerous benefits for the support of the economy as well as the development of individual's personality.  
  
Easier travelling encourage people to pay a frequent visit to other country. Such the visits help to establish tourism industry effectively that ultimately contribute the support of their country's economy. For example, Tourism contributes to around 30% of the national GDP for Dubai, it become as an important part of their economy. If people get reasonable offers for visiting, so many of them will probably take more trips for business activities, while others are for holiday. Thus, they can be able to contribute in their country's GDP.  
  
In addition, it is commonly believe that travelling is equivalent to education. It can bring people closer to each other despite their differences, which is very important in developing one's personality. For example, the Great Wall of China has seen by many tourists, while they not only earn immense pleasure but also learn about the unique culture of the ancient civilization.By travelling, we get the chance to study new culture, custom, values and so on. It can shift our outlook of life in a better way and gives us more idea about the way of life around the world.  
  
To conclude, increased travelling has a significance impact on both the economy and the individuals, when it come to affordable offers that leads a positive change in life. Also, I think the rational offer of travelling is an issue that drives people to pay more visit to enhance knowledge and prosperity.  
  
Thanks in advance :-)
TOEFL integrated writing TPO40  
  
In the article, the author builds an argument that it is impossible for people to live permanently on Venus for its high atmospheric pressure and lack of water and sunlight. However, the professor challenges this statement by providing solutions to these problems.  
  
While the author states that since the atmospheric pressure on Venus is ninety times more than the Earth's, humans would have trouble living on Venus, the professor claims that by establishing a floating station above the ground, where the atmosphere is thiner, this problem can be solved. Although it is true that the atmosphere on the surface of Venu is too thick for people to survive, the one fifty kilometers above the surface is the same as the Earth's, making it possible for people to live there.  
  
Although it is pointed out by the author that a lack of water and oxygen on Venus might make it difficult for humans to live on it, the professor believes that there is a solution. By chemical processes people can make water and oxygen out of compounds ,such as carbon dioxide, which is common on Venus.  
  
The last solution the professor mentioned to overcome the issue stated in the article is to make use of both the reflected light and the light below the clouds for producing electricity. Through this mean, there would be enough electricity for humans.  
  
All in all, the professor believes that although there do are several difficulties for people to live permanently on Venus, it is not impossible with scientific techniques.
@melissa888  
  
Hi, I am used to IELTS academic writing, not a TOELF one, but I hope my observation would be useful.  
  
... Venus is ninety times **higher** than the Earth's, (...) where **the atmosphere is much thinner** , this problem can be solved.  
... atmosphere on the surface of **Venus** is too thick ...  
  
... and oxygen on Venus **would have a difficulty** for humans to live on it, **yet** the professor believes that there **will be** a solution **for this challenge** . By **chemical isolation****,** people can **brew/generate/produce** water and oxygen (...) dioxide, which is **commonly found in** Venus.  
  
*All in all, the professor believes that although there ...*  
  
**All in all, with scientific techniques, the professor believes that there will be a possibility for people to live permanently on Venus.**
**To learn effectively, children need to eat healthy meal at school. How true is this statemment? Whose responsibility is it to provide food for school children?  
  
Writing Task 2, Practice Test, Page 130**  
  
Most people think that there is a connection between children's learning ability at school and the food that they eat. In my opinion, this statement is true and I would argue that parents have the main role to provide healtier food for children.  
  
With regards to its merit of healthy meal, it is able to give high nutrition for children and it relates to the brain develepment. Pupils can be more concentrate to accept a new knowledge from teachers without any difficulties. It is proved, according to the survey from Cambridge University that reveals 78% of young people can memorize 50 words a day after they have eaten high protein and vitamin food, such as a glass of milk and a bowl of salad. As a result, students can study some new vocabularies and increase their reading ability and writing ability. Therefore, it is important for children to eat healthly.  
  
Concerning to a person, who has big responsbility to provide meal, is actually their own parent. It is because they have to take care and pay much attention for their children's development. For instance, if a pupil brings his own meal box, it might reduce this child to buy junk food that is sold in food stall. Thus, parent do not have to aware due to their children have brought and ate home-made cooking at school. Hence, parent should provide their healthy meal.  
  
Overall, it is undeniable that young people can learn effectively if they consume more healthyly. Henceforward, this food should be prepared and cooked by own parent, so children can eat it at school. (266 words)
**Hi Septia..  
these are my thoughts towards your essay**  
  
In my opinion, this statement is true and I would argue that parents have ...  
*I am surprised to see your progress. You have shown the better progress. Actually, your thesis statement is simple and can cover all. However, you passed the first question "How true...". There needed a little explanation.*  
  
*Turning to the first body paragraph, you have learned previous experience. You can demonstrate your ability to build the complex sentence. The examiner can admit your good ability in the grammar. Besides that, you successfully create the good flow. I can get the points of your writing. Only a little time is needed to read your essay, and I got them. I never paused to find the meaning of your sentences. Although you harness the simple words, but you avoided the repetition. Following that, you pick up the example relating to your opinion. I appreciate your effort because you order the research from which almost all people know about that institution.*  
  
Thus, parent do not have to aware due to their children ...  
*Please, make sure what you write is like what you mind. It is really contradictive with previous statement.*  
THUS, THE PARENTS DO NOT HAVE TO WORRY SINCE THEIR CHILDREN BRING AND EAT HOME-MADE.............  
  
Overall, it is undeniable that young people can learn effectively if they consume more healthyly.  
*Where is the conclusion for the second question?*  
  
**OVERALL, YOUR ESSAY IS A GOOD JOB**
Hi septiadara29, let me give some comments  
  
1. There are some errors in spelling  
healtier ----> healthier  
develepment ----> development  
healthly ----> healthy  
responsbility ----> responsibility  
healthyly ----> healthily  
It is better for you to spare your time at least 3-5 minutes to check your spelling  
  
2. it is undeniable that ~~young people~~kids can learn effectively  
It is better to use kid as a paraphrase than young people to replace children  
  
Thank You  
Break a leg
**The chart and table below show customer satisfication levels in the US with airlines and aspects of air travel in 1999, 2000 and 2007.  
  
Writing Task 1, Pratice Test, Page 130**  
  
The bar chart reveals the information regarding to customer satisfication with US airlines in 1999, 2000 and 2007. The tabel shows five different aspects that relate to customer satisfication during the same period. These datas are measured in the percentage. Overall, the most obvious facts are that satisfied proportion had a slight upward trend, while the figure of dissatified had a minimum downward trend. Moreover, people were really satisfied with courtesy of flight attendants  
  
To begin with, the percentage of satisfied stood at more than three-fifths in 1999. It was followed by the increasing number of 7% during the last period to roughly 72%. In contrast, the largest starting level of dissatisfied was at 32% in 1999. There was a gradual fall in the percentage and bottomed at 24% in 2007.  
  
On the other hand, the tabel shows that the percentage of satisfication for courtesy of flight attendants started at 88% in 1999 and rose slightly at 92% in 2007. However, the proportion of price of tickets inclined significantly by 20%, from 45% in 1999 to 65% in 2007. Meanwhile, the number of schedule remained unchanged over the last two-year. In contrast, the figure of courtesy of check-in/gate agents went up and down and the percentage of comfort of seat appeard firstly at 47% in 2007. (216 words)  
  
*
Hello this is my suggestions  
1. be careful when you write numbers  
number up to ten you should write as words [two, seven]  
number over ten you should write as figures [72, 2002]  
e.g.: ... increasing number of seven percent (...) to roughly 72%  
  
2. data--> uncountable  
e.g.: These data are measured...  
  
3. i think you just misspelling  
tabel-> table  
satisfication -->satisfaction  
better you use prepositional "related to"  
e.g.:... five different aspects that related to customer satisfaction ...  
  
overall well done. good luck
**HELLO MISS @septiadara29  
HERE FEW OF MY CORRECTIONS FOR YOUR ESSAY :)**  
  
... the information regarding ~~to~~ customer satisfication=>SATISFACTION with US airlines ...  
The tabel=>TABLE shows five different (...) to customer satisfication=>SATISFACTION during the same period. These datas=>DATA are measured ...  
... while the figure of dissatified=>DISSASTIFIED had a minimum downward trend.  
  
..., the tabel=>TABLE shows that the percentage of satisfication=>SATISFACTION for courtesy of flight (...) rose slightly at=>TO 92% in 2007. However, the proportion of THE price of tickets ...  
  
Meanwhile, the number of schedule+S remained unchanged ...  
... percentage of comfort of seat appeard=>APPEARED firstly at ...  
  
**OVERALL IS GOOD ENOUGH :) KEEP WRITING :)**
Hi septiadara29, Let me give you some comments  
  
1. These data~~s~~ are measured ...  
'Data' can be countable and uncountable. If it is countable, 'data' is plural form and the singular form is 'datum'. But if you use data as uncountable, you do not need to add 's'  
  
2. It was followed by ~~the~~ increasing number ~~of~~by 7% during ....  
To tell about the difference between 2 data you can use 'by'  
  
3. ... rose slightly at 92% ...  
you can use 'reached a peak at 92% ' because it is the ...  
  
Thank You  
Break a leg