dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
Hammy, the summary overview should identify the type of chart you are presenting. You cannot just say "chart" because there are several chart types used for the Task 1 essay. Be specific by indicating the actual chart being used. In this case, you should have said "The bar chart provided". The "bar" being the type of chart used. You must also summarize the types of information, and sources of information It is safe to say that you provided an incomplete summary overview and will lose points in terms of TA considerations because of it.  
  
You have to be consistent in your paragraph presentations. No less than 3 sentences should be presented that indicate:  
  
1. Topic sentence  
2. Data from the chart  
3. Analysis of the information  
  
Do this for the next 3 paragraphs since a concluding sentence / paragraph is not required in a task 1 essay. The only requirement is a truthful presentation of the information from the chart and proper analysis / explanation of the information provided to prove your English comprehension skills and English academic writing level.  
  
Do not be confused, the task 1 does not require a concluding statement, but it does ask you to provide a trending statement. What you wrote at the end is not a concluding statement but a trending statement. I am making this clarification because you keep asking the other members of this forum to write a concluding statement in your advice. That is wrong. The Task 1 essay requires a trending statement to be placed in any part of the 4 paragraph essay.  
  
The task 1 essay will never require a concluding statement because there is no discussion being presented, only an analysis of information previously provided for your writing reference.
## inappropriate comparison

  
  
hello everyone my name is phương I from 11A , today I'm standing here with an interesting topic " family and friends which is more important " . In my opinion , it's difficult to compare family and friends. It sound inapproriate .  
  
Fristly. Family is our origin, we have our frist breath in the family . They teach us about simplest things in the world such us : how to wear clothes, how to eat , drink .Though your thinking might differ from your family, they still are your family and love you as much as always. Family will stay with you even in the hardest of times when all have given up on you. Friends may be your friends for a reason, your family will always be your family without any reason  
  
Besides , we have more things in common with friends - this is because they usually are the same age as us and they all like doing the same things. I mean, I could not imagine my mother playing doll games with my little sister , so they can play with us any game , go any where if conditions allow . Moreover they can share with us our secret , our feeling and so on  
  
From my point of view, both of them are very important for us. Each one give us things that the other one can not, the only difference is that you have to choose your friends, so try to do it well and they will be like a second family for you
@Phuongbo  
Although you should always give priority to your family. There are instances where your brother starts to go against you due to diferent reaons like taking care of you old parents, sharing equally the expenses or property disputes. You start getting annoyed.  
  
Understanding human relations are simpler said than done. It becomes complex when one of your close starts to hate the other who is also very close to you. For example, imagine the relation between your mother and your girlfriend/fiance/spouse. Most of the times the reasons are pity to one and important to the other. This makes the situation very difficult to handle.
Phuong, you have several spelling errors in this essay:  
  
inapproriate = inappropriate  
  
Fristly = Firstly  
  
Frist - First  
  
Please remember that you are being scored in proper spelling and should strive to deliver the correct spelling of words every time. If you are not sure of how to spell a word, it is best to find an alternative word to use which you know how to spell. It is also imperative that you edit your essay for these mistakes before you consider it finalized in form. Sometimes, spelling mistakes are the result of an oversight on the part of the writer. In the end, wrong spelling can have dire consequences for your score.  
  
Make sure you are also using the words in the proper context and presentation. You made these mistakes in your presentation:  
  
... such us = ... such AS  
  
... any where = ... anywhere (one word not two)  
  
give = gives (subject-verb disagreement)  
  
... can not = cannot ( The words must be written as a conjunction)  
  
... sound inappropriate = ... soundS inappropriate  
  
Please also remember that a comma must be used after an introductory element such as "Moreover" and after greetings such as "Hello everyone". You should also avoid using contractions in a formal written setting. Therefore:  
  
I'm = I am  
It's = It is  
  
If you are stating a fact, then you should not be uncertain when presenting information. Avoid using terms that do not appear to be confident such as "In my opinion" if it is not required by the discussion instructions. You can also simply say "both" rather than "both of them" since there it comes across as a redundancy.
Hello, one thing i want to say is that your essay has lots of small mistakes.  
  
First, you should be careful with tenses because if you write beautifully but have lots of gramma mistakes, you will still lose point.  
  
Secondly, you essay's tone is informal. Ielts is an academic test so you should change your tone.  
  
Thirdly, your voice in this essay is too basic to get high mark. But i think you are a new learner and you will be better.  
  
Good luck
## Writing task 1: Ielts - Line Chart

  
  
Word: 188.  
  
The mentioned line graph elucidates the percentage of inhabitants aged 65 and more in three nations in the period of 1940 to 2040.  
  
As it can be seen from the graph, the proportions of the elderly in all three nations show an upward trend over a span of 100 years. Outstandingly, Japan is anticipated to have the most substantial increase in its elderly dwelers.  
  
In 1940, the country with the highest rate of population was America with 9% while the opposite was true for Japan with 5%. The period between 1940 and 2000 witnessed a slight growth in the aforementioned population in the USA and Sweden reaching 14% and 15% respectively. However, the percentage of Japanist pp aged 65 year and over remained unchanged at 5% in this period.  
  
After 2000, there will be an increasing fluctuation in the proportion of Swedish elderly inhabitants to 25%. Futhermore, a plateau at 14% in the forenamed the American elderly is expected, but later rise to 23%. Besides, after increasing steadily from 2000 to 2030, the rate of Japanist population will hit the highest point at 27%, which is a surprise.  
  
Because I'm going to take the real test next week so please give me the most detailed feedback and a band score.  
  
*
Ni, you should be more careful with the way you spell and use certain words. Spelling mistakes the wrong use of reference words usually stem from the writer being careless. Although it may not have your intention to misspell a word, it will affect your LR scores just the same. Mistakes such as:  
  
Futhermore = Furthermore  
Dwelers - Dwellers  
Japanist = Japanese  
  
While these seem to be just a small percentage of misspelled words, these mistakes still have the ability to pull down your LR and overall final score.  
  
Now, confused word usage also appears to be a problem in your essay, which will also affect your LR score along with your C&C plus GRA scores. Your mistakes such as:  
  
Anticipated = predicted  
  
There is a difference in word meaning since anticipated means; "To feel or realize beforehand; foresee" while predicted is defined as "To state, tell about, or make known in advance, especially on the basis of special knowledge." Since you are referring to information known in advance because of the chart, the correct term to use is not anticipated but rather, predicted.  
  
Always indicate clear information. There is no need to say "aforementioned population", simply say "population in the USA". Don't confuse your presentation. By the way, don't use text speak in this essay. What do you mean by "pp"? I believe that means people but you need to spell out the whole word because this is an academic writing test. Text spelling is not accepted and will be considered when finalizing your GRA score.  
  
Your summary overview is incomplete. You have to indicate the following in the summary overview:  
1. Type of image  
2. Representation of the image  
3. Countries indicated  
4. Measurement type  
5. Age range  
6. Countries indicated  
  
All of these information are required information to help inform the reader about the upcoming discussion paragraphs. Combine information whenever possible to achieve the 3-5 sentence requirement for the 4 paragraph presentation. Don't bother with a conclusion. That is only required in a Task 2 essay.  
  
Your trending statement could have used another sentence to meet the minimum sentence requirement as well. While the trending statement could be a single sentence reference, I often advice students to either combine the trending statement with the summary overview, to add to the C&C consideration to the essay, or develop a 3 sentence trending statement based on the presented graph data whenever possible.
## to strive for the better

  
  
Although examples of prodigies can easily be observed in many aspects of life thanks to mass media, there are also those who strive through training and education to be recognized like their counterparts.  
  
On one hand, people with innate talents demonstrate their abilities at a very young age. The skills come natural to them and they might or might not need further education in order to succeed. Genetics or early exposure to the skill may be the reason for their talents.  
  
On the other hand, people who were not born with such abilities may not be good at the skill initially. But for intensive training, they might never have unlocked their potentials and go beyond their limits. Despite their talents, they might not have had interest in the skill, therefore these people have to be extremely disciplined and determined so as to achieve their goals.  
  
In my opinion, whether those people are talented from birth, or have to go through excruciating training; the crucial thing is that, they have to strive for the better. Determination, as well as passion are indifferent between the two types of people.  
  
In conclusion, it depends on the person, and not the talent that decides who people are.  
  
(Please be kind to correct and give comments, as well as leave a band score for me <3 This was only 196 words as I was tight on time, thank youu)
Hello Kristee  
  
I don't have any experiences correcting people's works but here are some issues in your writing that I have spotted.  
  
- First, please include the question in your thread next time so others can decide whether you went on point and answered the question correctly. As for your opening paragraph, I think you lack the thesis statement which is really crucial to generally tell the readers what your point of view is.  
  
- Word count is another big problem in IELTS writing. Despite a strict time limit, you still need to make sure that the number of words in your essay is at least close to 250 or else, it will be a demise of your writing score.  
  
- You should pay attention to minor grammar errors: The skills come naturally  
- I'm not sure what you mean in paragraph 3 because it's quite confusing. Are you trying to say that those without innate talents have to go extra miles in their training with discipline and great determination in order to reach the level of the talented?  
  
- The 4th paragraph should be moved to the 1st.  
- Lastly, it feels like your conclusion is not really a true summary of your writing.  
  
Above are my opinions, I hope that you will improve on your next works and if you have time, please make comment on my writing as well.
Hello, I'm just a high school student so I wish I could give some useful advices.  
  
First, your essay is too short, which means that you haven't done the requirement and obviously you will lose the point.  
  
Secondly, you should be careful with your grammar:  
  
DETERMINATION, as well as PASSION ~~are~~ indifferent ... ---------> is  
Structure: if you use "as well as" for two subjects, the verb(s) for 2 two subjects must be conjugated with the first subject.  
Eg: THE STUDENTS, as well as THE TEACHER, ARE decorating their class.  
  
Last but not least, your conclusion needs fixing because I think your statement can not convey the main idea and your opinion.  
  
Thanks for reading.
Quynh, due to the under writing that you did in this essay, you will not only get a mark down, you will get an automatic failing score. You have to meet the minimum word requirement of 250 words before you can be considered for scoring under the 4 brackets. As such, I am not going to score this essay. I am also not going to look into the potential grammar and presentation mistakes that you made with this essay. Instead, I want to give you advice to help you reach the 250 word count.  
  
It is obvious that you are not capable of writing an essay of 250 words within the allotted time frame. So what can you do to improve? Spend at least 4 days just writing an essay of 250 words. Do not time yourself, yet. It is useless to time yourself if you are unable to meet the word requirement each time. Instead, just write 250 words for the essay. Get used to writing 250 words. I can review your response, spot problem points, and advice you on how to improve your presentations based on the minimum 250 word, no time pressure essay.  
  
When you are already comfortable writing 250 words, that should take about a week of practice of writing at least 2 essays a day, you may begin to time yourself to see how many words you can then write under time pressure. Forget about the timer for now. We need to make sure that you can properly discuss the essay prompts first. Once you do that properly, you can begin to time yourself. You will find that you can write a more than the minimum word count by then.
I would be grateful if you spare your time to correct and mark my essay  
  
**Question:** Some people think that newly built houses should follow the style of old houses in local areas. Others think that people should have freedom to buid houses of their own style. Do you agree or disagree with this view?  
  
## imitating the local housing trend

  
  
Opinions diverge greatly on whether or not newly errected buildings are forced to retain the similar architecture with the previous one. From my perspective, I would contend that house owners should feel free to design their accommodations in their own way.  
  
It is unequal for architects to obey the same style for quarters in a region. Copying merchanically ways of construction might be associated with obstructing their creative ability. This may be explained by the fact that designing a house is still considered as a genre of art which enables builders and designers to show off their asthetic capabilities. This means that each architect has their own method and distictly different criteria in assessing a quarter as being well-appointed. For instant, some tend to take a keen interest in blending between tradditional and modern styles while vintage designed housing becomes more favourable for others.  
  
Another reason for this is that following the same architecture might be attributed to a monotonous and dull picture for the area. In fact, what new accommodation are formulated to look indifferent with the old one disregard the appearance element. The beauty of the way housing being constructed, conversely, becomes one of the appealing part in visitors'eyes when they set their foot to the local area. This is because something outstanding and special seems to leave unforgetable memory.  
  
From all existing justification mentioned above, I am firmly of the opinion that imitating the housing trend might be superficial on account of the architect's creativity hinderance and tediousness in design.
Thu, since this is your first post at this forum, I will not yet score your essay. I will just analyze it for problems and corrections. That way you will know what to improve with your second essay, which I will then score. I am afraid that you will not score very well with this essay if I were to assign a band consideration to it. There is a very strong possibility that this essay will receive a failing score due to its improper / incorrect discussion topic and format. It appears from what you wrote that you changed the discussion instruction for the discussion from:  
  
*Do you agree or disagree with this view?*  
  
to  
  
*I would contend that house owners should feel free to design their accommodations in their own way.*  
  
As you can can see, you are airing a personal opinion without considering the proper discussion response which is supposed to be:  
  
*From my personal perspective, I would have to dis/agree with this view.*  
  
The main problem though, is that I believe you did not post the correct discussion instruction for this essay. Can you double check to be sure that you followed the correct discussion instruction? Based on the given discussion topic and reasons, it appears that this is a "discuss both points of view and present your own opinion" or "Discuss your opinion" essay. It is not an agree/disagree essay prompt.  
  
If I were to base your score on the assumed prompt, then you did not discuss the essay within expected parameters so you will get a failing score in the TA section and another failing score for the repeated spelling mistakes in the essay. Both of which will combine to make you fail the essay in totality.
## supporting growing nations

  
  
**Developing countries require international organization help. Some people prefer financial aid while others think practical aid and advice are better.  
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.**  
  
There is a large number of developing nations in the world that are in need of global organizations' assistance. While some people believe that financial support is the cornerstone for an economic growth, others rely more on practical help and valuable recommendations. In my opinion, I consider financial resources to be of better support for third world countries.  
  
On the one hand, it is commonly believed that getting loans from such international organizations as the World Bank or the United Nations would not only stabilize countries' national economy, but also contribute into tackling the extreme poverty observed there, and I highly support this idea. Consequently, both national industries and service spheres, such as education and healthcare, would be able to remain stable while providing people with more working places. Furthermore, that would allow countries in economic recession to remain their independence, whereas, being forced to increase funds they may even trade their own land. For instance, the Russian Federation had no other choice but to auction Alaska off to the United States in order to avoid its economic collapse.  
  
On the other hand, providing people with direct help and recommendations would be more beneficial for third world countries as that implies visible and immediate result, according to some. Although money can solve a great number of problems, some urgent issues require acting without delay. Top priorities like immunization, water sanitation and hygiene, deficient children nutrition demand personal involvement of specially trained professionals.  
  
In conclusion, despite people having different views, I believe that supporting growing nations with financial assistance can drastically increase their chances to combat existing problems.
Note :*I'm not an expert or a native speaker*  
  
there ~~is~~ are a large number ...>> the phrase '*a number of*'' is used with plural nouns,so the verb should be plural. Unlike this expression: '*the number of* ', which is singular: the number of people is ....  
  
Regarding your essay structure: you have to start first with the opposite argument (which is here in paragraph 3), then state your argument in the 3rd paragraph ( it's better also to refute the opposite one i.e to state your reasons why financial aid is better AND why practical aid is not.)  
  
TRY to keep balance between your paragraphs' length >>pragraph 3 needs more extension.
Hi there, I have some opinions about your essays. Hopefully, It helps.  
  
Your writing appeared to have had minor grammar issues; however, there are some mistakes that you could avoid when proofreading, such as:  
- ~~an~~ economic growth => the article "an" may be redundant when used with the uncountable noun "growth"  
- ...immunization, water sanitation, and hygiene  
- Avoid using "There is/there are" to begin a sentence.  
  
You seemingly used too many cohesive devices. For instance, in the 1st body paragraph, you put cohesive devices in each sentence which made your essay unnaturally. Your writing does not answer the prompt completely, and your opinion in each section is quite unclear. I suggest stating your opinion, support why did you agree or did not agree with the views in a separated paragraph.  
  
Your conclusion is too short and does not summarize the main idea of your essay as well.
## is advertising making people similar?

  
  
**Some people think that advertising discourages us from being different individuals, as all people want to do the same and look the same. To what extent do you agree or disagree?**  
  
People are flooded with commercial advertisements all the time either at home or outside. It is sometimes argued that people lose their identity by using similar products promoted in the advertisement. From my point of view, I completely disagree with this statement.  
  
Thanks to advertising, both large and small companies have the opportunity to enable customers to know their products. People are exposed to kinds of products with different styles and patterns produced by the companies. At the same time of providing more choices for the consumers, advertisements also create the demands in the market to a large extent. By using products merchandised by diverse companies, people are distinguished by their clothing and accessories. On the surface, the one wearing a pair of Vans looks entirely different from another one wearing boots produced by UGG.  
  
In addition, individual character comes more from the educational background and thoughts than wearing. The knowledge imparted in schools cultivates students' tough and tolerant personalities so that those who are well-educated tend to look more energetic and courteous than those wearing similar but ignorant and narrow. What's worse, when seeing the same advertisement of a fancy handbag, an ambitious university student may be inspired to earn money to afford it in the future while another youth who drops out of school in the childhood may commit a crime by robbing others of the bag. This is because people react differently to the same advertisement depending on their consciousness.  
  
In conclusion, I do not agree that advertising is making people similar to each other. On the contrary, they have loads of choices to wear and do variously due to diverse advertisements.