dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
**QUESTION:  
*Watching a live performance such as a play, concert, or sporting event is more enjoyable than watching the same event on television.***  
## *To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?*

  
  
Despite the availability of simultaneous broadcasting on television, some people argue that watching live events is still more satisfying. While the exhilarating atmosphere at those live events is undeniable, I maintain that recent developments in broadcasting quality are significant.  
  
On the one hand, the option to watch live performances such as a concert or sporting event is stimulating because people seem to enjoy the exciting atmosphere during these events. Live performances, indeed, give people a chance to interact directly with their idols as well as other audiences who are likely to share the same hobby and fantasy with them. Football and baseball matches play a good example here. At the end of the match, football players usually give away their shirts to their supporters or it has even become a tradition for baseball spectators to bring extra gloves to catch the ball given by players. Korean-pop enthusiasts chanting and singing along with the artists exemplify this precisely as well. Such moments, as a result, might be an unforgettable memory or a lifetime dream for plentiful individuals.  
  
Nevertheless, I firmly believe that watching the same events on television is more enjoyable which is attributed to current innovations in broadcasting service. These days, in order to attract more viewers, not only do televisions offer us simultaneous broadcasting but also an excellent view of the event recorded by high-quality cameras and professional reports which keep us updated without being disturbed by crowd noises. For instance, while live audiences can hardly understand anything due to narrow vision and noises, TV viewers can have access to detailed videos which are used in VAR technology during football matches to help referees come up with accurate decisions. Therefore, television broadcasting is widely preferred by viewers and experts who truly concentrate on happenings during these events.  
  
In conclusion, whereas live performances bring to us so much fun, I believe viewers who completely focus on the event would assume television shows as a more feasible option. Additionally, given the COVID-19 situation around the globe, live broadcasting seems to lead the dominant trend.
There are 2 problems with the prompt restatement. The first, is that the writer created a public argument where a basic idea was represented in the original prompt. There is no reference to the idea presented as a public opinion, or as a debatable topic. As such, it should have been reworded as a mere idea presentation alone. The second, is that the writer offers an opinion that does not meet the task opinion clarity requirement. The measured response, which was the expected response for that sentence, was presented later on in the discussion paragraphs, thus eliminating the correct opinion statement in the first paragraph. Therefore, the first paragraph may have difficulty in receiving a passing score based upon restatement and opinion considerations for the task.  
  
As for the discussion format, the writer incorrectly used a comparative discussion where a single opinion based on 2 supporting reasons was required. Unlike other essays that use the comparative format due to the indication of "discuss / compare both views", this essay merely asked for a single opinion coming from the personal point of view of the writer. Therefore, a score based on task format cannot be awarded in a passing manner. The writer should be aware of the differing response formats for the differing task writing instructions in order to provide an acceptable body of paragraphs for the examiner to score.  
  
In the conclusion, the writer also adds a totally new discussion topic at the end of the paragraph. That created an open ended essay as the new topic was not fully discussed and developed to the point where a proper concluding paragraph could have followed. Since there is no proper conclusion for this discussion, it may not achieve a passing score at all.
## ENVIRONMENTAL PROTECTION TOPIC

  
  
**Environmental protection is the responsibility of politicians, not individuals as individuals can do too little. To what extent do you agree or disagree?**  
  
Given the alarming deterioration in the ecosystem, many individuals argue that governments are responsible for environmental preservation. While it is important for parliaments to take the initiative, I strongly believe that people's role in tackling these issues is indispensable due to their significant impacts on nature.  
  
On the one hand, it is undeniable that it is the responsibility of politicians to tighten regulations on environmental problems and take the initiative in this journey. Since they are given the power to make changes to the law, any of their actions would have significant impacts on the behaviors of citizens which directly affect the surrounding environment. For instance, if the Ministry of Environment applied strictly financial punishment on people who cut down trees illegally, they would be afraid and stop their crime. Furthermore, as politicians are considered role models for residents, them taking the initiative would raise awareness among the vast majority of people about the necessity of natural preservation. This can be seen in many Vietnamese new schools, when the city council sent a tree to these schools as a gift, it has started to influence students to grow more plants on their campus. Such small actions, as a result, might lead to considerable improvements in the environment in the future.  
  
On the other hand, an individual's role in solving this issue is part and parcel given their huge impacts on nature. This could be explained by the fact that apart from politicians, the rest of us make up nearly 100% of the world population. Consequently, even an insignificant action like littering a plastic bag, combined with tons of other bags being thrown away around the globe can devastate the entire ecosystem. In fact, the deterioration in the environment these days is also the aftermath of irresponsible exploitation and usage of natural resources as well as inhumane wars happening for centuries just for the convenience of humans' lives. As a result, only unity and precise awareness among every individual worldwide can resolve these natural issues.  
  
Based on the aforementioned points, while politicians can partly tackle the problems by tightening environmental regulations, it is mainly individuals' actions that have huge impacts on nature. I am also convinced that as soon as people are fully aware of their roles and willing to take serious steps, the environment would be improved.  
  
**387 words**  
  
AND WHICH BAND SCORE WOULD I GET FOR THIS ESSAY?
Why is the writer constantly changing the presentation slant of the original prompts? This is the second time that he has created an argument and debate where only ideas are presented in the original. These create prompt deviations in the prompt restatement section that will result in failing scores being given for inaccurate rephrasing. While he provided an extent response in the correct format this time, it will still not be considered because he did not respond to the original question being asked in relation to his (dis)agreement with the original prompt idea. Rather than clearly agreeing or disagreeing, he decided to strongly believe in the people's role within the issue. This is an error created by the incorrect arrangement of the sentence words. While it might sound prompt responsive to an ESL, it is not prompt responsive at all to an ENL.  
  
Again, the same problem with the response format. I will not repeat myself in this essay as the same errors exist as in the first one that was written. I can only hope that the writer will learn from his mistakes. He should not write more than one essay per day as he is seeking to have his work reviewed and corrected. Writing multiple essays that contain the same problems are a waste of his and the reviewer's time.  
  
He has also over written the essay. He will not pass when he writes almost 400 words, but does not properly respond to the question. He will still fail since he has shown an inability to follow instructions or write in an expected manner. Nobody has ever passed this test based on an extended word count alone. Quality and comprehension are scored in this test, not the word count.  
  
You may contact us privately for your scoring concerns.
Hello everyone, I am practicing writing and this is my essay, if possible, I would love to know my score on this task. Thanks so much !!  
  
***Some people think that hosting an international sports event is good for the country, while some people think it is bad.  
## Discuss both views and state your opinion.

  
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.***  
  
Essay:  
Hosting an international sports event is an important thing which has to be prepared well. Due to that, many opinions exist.  
  
Firstly, positive views need to be talked about. When a country gets to host such a famous event, it will probably get well-known by other nations. And surely that can help the country a lot. For instance, governments and residents have a chance to use the opportunity to advertise their culture to foreign people. By doing that, the country's economy might increase sharply during the event. Besides that, it will satisfy some people's wish to meet famous sports players. They have a high rate of talking to their favorite players whom they really want to talk to once in their life.  
  
However, the risk of hosting a big event still exists, an important event is not good at all. That is why there is a debate about this topic. If a country can not be able to prepare for the event in a period, they have to do as many ways as possible to finish preparation on time, severe consequences may happen. The most obvious thing is that people attending that event will have a bad experience and are sure to make complaints. Which then affects the country's image. For example, in real life, Qatar is a country that hosts the 2022 World cup event, they have to rush to finish building a big stadium, over 6000 people sacrificed their lives for that. Hearing sad news, people around the world disagree going to Qatar to attend the World cup. The result is Qatar has been badly affected.  
  
In conclusion, from my perspective, hosting an international sports event is both good and bad, good things or bad things depend on that country's responsibility.
The prompt restatement + personal opinion presentation is not properly formatted in the first paragraph. Based on the original prompt, the writer should be presenting at least 3 sentences in this paragraph. It must individually respresent:  
  
- The first public opinion  
- The second public opinion  
- The writer's opinion  
  
These 3 sentences comprise the required information that will meet the task requirements for increased scoring consideration. In this case, the topic is presented, but the implications for each target audience is missing, specially in the personal opinion section.  
  
The writer does not understand that his personal opinion cannot be made a conclusion of this presentation. The personal opinion can be presented in only one of 2 ways:  
  
- As a representation of his opinion of each reason within the same paragraph. That is after the public opinion is explained. He may agree or disagree at that point  
  
- As a stand alone 3rd paragraph that supports one of the two public opinions. The stand alone explanation is part of the 3 reasoning paragraph option for this type of prompt.  
  
The concluding summary should only indicate a recap of the previous discussion, along with the writer's opinion as a closing reiteration.  
  
While the writing is not formatted properly, I am pleased to say that the writer at least understood the discussion requirements and showed a clear opinion of the topic. It is just that the formatting requirements were not appropriately met, causing problems with his scoring considerations.
## Some experts say for road safety cyclists should pass a test before being allowed on public roads.

  
  
The bicycle has become increasingly common in many countries, a great alternative to reducing carbon dioxide footprint. It is argued by many people that there should be a test that bike riders need to pass before being available to travel on the streets. Personally, I believe that this idea creates more drawbacks rather than benefits.  
  
First of all, riding a bike is a simple skill that anyone can acquire after a few hours of practicing. Therefore, the idea of having a mandatory test for this vehicle's users is unnecessary. For example, a 6-year-old boy can ride a bike well after being trained by his father. Furthermore, the government will have to provide a large amount of money to execute this law, which is paid for the testing centers, extra police officers checking the riders' licenses. More importantly, it is reported that bike is one of the transportations that caused fewest accidents in the past few years, making money allocated for this proposal incredibly wasteful.  
  
On the other hand, due to the negative impacts of air pollution, people worldwide are highly encouraged to use bikes. Hence, this restriction will deter them from using this environmentally-friendly transportation. Suppose the test requires a heft fee or complicated procedure. In that case, people are likely to delay obeying the law, making it longer to be completely effective.  
  
Overall, the idea that requires bicycle users to pass a test is a fallacy because it will not only waste resources but also create more deterrents to using the bike instead of other less green vehicles. Instead, the government should put more effort into stimulating this vehicle's usage and ensuring the traffic system is safe for bikers.
Personally, I believe that this idea creates more drawbacks rather than benefits.  
There are several problems with this prompt restatement + opinion presentation. The first, is that the original topic is simply a one liner sentence that does not contain any of the opening remarks that the exam taker presented here. The personal opinion presented in the opening statement created an inaccuracy in the topic restatement and will be scored down. The second error, is that there is an inaccurate opinion presentation as the exam taker:  
  
- Incorrectly used and agree or disagree statement in the title (It is an extent response instead)  
- Incorrectly gave his opinion in an incorrect format (drawbacks v. benefits instead of extent of agreement or disagreement)  
  
As such, the essay has already recieved a failing preliminary TA score due to the inaccuracies presented. These opening statement errors are enough to fail the test overall due to the incorrect presentation format and lack of a valid opinion based on the discussion question provided. There is no need to review the rest of the essay at this point since the discussion is irrelevant to the given scenario.
***Memorization of information by frequent repetition, namely rote learning, plays a role in many education systems.***  
## To what extent do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

  
  
Copying the context of textbooks frequently is common in a vast of education systems. Some people argue that there are a lot of advantages of it, while I completely believe that its cons are far more than pros and I will discuss it below.  
  
Studying, again and again, results in some excellent benefits. In particular, it has become a constant way that most students keep for so long. First of all, it gives our brain so much stimulation that we remember the terminology of our subjects, especially those professional ones. Secondly, nailing down a concept in certain topics takes more time than memorizing it repeatedly, which we could contribute to the other issues we might be interested in. Therefore, repetition for studying is effective compared to other ways.  
  
However, I hold the position that its shortages surpass what we gain from it. To begin with, what we usually ignore is that we will not forget the knowledge of particular fields if we coherently understand the heads or tails of them. Focusing on the importance of memorizing is totally impractical, as students even write down a huge amount of notes instead of figuring out the concepts. Furthermore, rote learning does not highlight applications. This means we might remember a large number of words theoretically rather than practising them in real life.  
  
In conclusion, there are undoubtedly lots of benefits of memorization for education. But I reckon they hardly outweigh the disadvantages.  
  
Any suggestion is much appreciated previously. I have a difficulty on writting for long.
Memorization is not the same as copying text. Memorization means"to commit to memory". It requires repeated reading. copying refers to repeated writing. Those are 2 different actions. This incorrect word replacement will lower the vocabulary score since it shows a problem with word meaning and an alteration of the discussion topic. There is a clear task inaccuracy in the statement.  
  
The writer incorrectly responded to the question as well. The discussion premise for defense has been supplied. That is the only discussion that should be present in the reasoning and opinion statement. By not using the supplied discussion basis, the writer has changed the discussion and therefore, not followed the task / writing instructions. This will result in a non-passing score even as points are partially provided due to an unrelated discussion presentation.
## **Every year several languages die out.**

  
*Some people think that this is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages in the world.  
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?*  
  
Nowadays, it is true that the extinct of language is growing. Several people claimed that the extinction of some languages is not a crucial problem while others have others opionion. While I accept there are numberous advantages, the disadvantages are more significant.  
  
On one hand, if all of people use language together, there are a lot of opportunities to bolster economic growth. This indicates breaking language barriers connects people and let them understand others, facilitate business transaction . Therefore, residents discover golden opportunities to florish economy. For example, Singapo is a great example because Singapro allows English to be the first language. As a result, investors from others countries easily join to business in that country.  
  
On the other hand, reducing the number of language gradually leaves culture diversities at stake. This implies that languages are embedded by feature of culture such as custom, costumes, so on. Therefore, the loss of languages pays price by the lose of culture, resulting in a monotonous world. Second, selecting what languages is the most merit language triggers conflicts. This means that a host of debates of choose language which others are compulsory to follow never come to the end. Hence,wars are definitely able to happen all over the world . For example, recently, China forces HongKong to use Mardarin in stead of Cantonese. As a result, Hong Kong fights against China for protecting their language  
  
In conclusion, the loss of languages will definitely cause many unanticipated negative impacts on our lives. The government should consider about this problem and figure out to protect languages.  
  
262 words
The essay will get a failing TA score and because of that, an overall failing score even though the exam taker completed the essay writing task. This is because he made a mistake in 3 areas:  
  
- Incorrect prompt restatement:  
A truth was mentioned rather than the rewording of "Every year", which is a central part of the discussion foundation. No explanation as to why the people are not bothered by the death of languages, which was included in the original establishing prompt.  
  
- Incorrect discussion response:  
A response to the question "To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement" was expected. Instead, the exam taker indicated a response based on advantages or disadvantages. The opinion presented is not aligned with the original question being asked.  
  
- Incorrect discussion format  
With the incorrect discussion response comes an incorrect discussion format. The overall reasoning presentation is not based on the given discussion requirements. Rather, the writer changed the discussion basis with his response and proceeded to respond in the same manner. It is no longer aligned with the necessary scoring considerations.
## usa marriages and divorces rates

  
  
The first bar chart shows changes in the number of marriages and divorces in the USA while the second bar chart describes the marital status of American adults between 1970 and 2000.  
  
Overall, there were more marriages than divorces during the research period in the top chart. In the bottom chart, most people were married in both years, but the figure for single grown-ups was higher in 2000.  
  
In 1970, 2.5 million and 1 million people were married and divorced, respectively. The number of married people remained stable a decade later before hitting a low of 2 million in 2000. In contrast, the divorce rate peaked in 1980, at roughly 1.5 million but decreased to precisely 1 million in the last year.  
  
The percentage of married adults accounted for 70% in 1970 compared to 60% in 2000. This figure is followed by a group of unmarried people, with 20% in 1970 and around 10% in 2000. As for the widowed and divorced, the proportions remained below 10% in both years.  
  
(170 words)  
  
*
The exam taker can further improve the GRA score for the report if he makes an effort to use more complex sentences, with the correct punctuation marks indicated in the sentence. In the first sentence, the correct placement of a comma would have indicated a better merged idea within 2 sentences. The sentence, as a summary, is well developed, but lacks the additional punctuation marks for clarity and grammar accuracy.  
  
The data indicated is quite accurate and clear to the reader. However, an image indicator, would be useful. An image indicator clarifies which image is being reported upon in the paragraph. It should not be confused with an image positioner, which tells the reader where the image is on the page. Such positioners are unnecessary to the presentation.  
  
Overall, the student just needs to work on his punctuation usage for increased scores. The report itself is accurate and well within a word count that will result in a high score. The writer has done his best to focus on the quality of his writing, which is a scoring plus, rather than the word count, which is a scoring minus due to the errors it often forces the writer to make. In this case, the errors are limited and do not adversely affect the overall score as these are minimal in nature.