dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
You are not supposed to use the prompt as the title for your essay anyway. Try to use a title reflective of the prompt instead. That is another exercise in similar word usage that you can benefit from. Come up with original titles to describe the topic and reason for the prompt discussion. You will find that it is a good way to build your English vocabulary and word usage skills.  
  
In your restatement paragraph, you used a run-on sentence instead of individual sentences that would represent your own explanation of the prompt. Always separate your topic presentations, don't just use comparative reference words such as "however" to differentiate. That does not add to the clarity of your presentation and instead, divides the reader's understanding of the given statement. You do not have to reflect what your first discussion will be at the end. The thesis presentation should, instead, offer the 2 topics for discussion that you will be using in reference to the advantage and disadvantage paragraphs.  
  
The run-on sentence presentation is a serious error in this essay. It happens in every paragraph. This will definitely pull down you GRA score at you do not really have a proper mix of simple and complex sentences. Do not confuse the complex sentence for a run-on. That is the common mistake that more students tend to make in these types of presentations.  
  
There are also problems with punctuation mark usage and word capitalization in some parts of the essay. You should be more careful in the way that you structure your sentences, making sure to use the correct punctuation mark and capitalization as you go along. Always edit and proof-read, never assume that your first version is the correct version. There is always time for the improvement of your presentation for as long as the writing time has not run out.
## Looking for a new planet to settle

  
  
It is obvious that finding a new place to sustain people on Earth has always been a hotly-debated issue. Some people believe that a way to tackle this problem is to find a replaceable planet to live on. From my point of view, this solution is not practical and resources must be used cleverly.  
  
First, let us take a look at the reasons why Earth become inhabitable. One of the major problem is the overexploitation of natural resources. For instance, as the demands for energy are expanded, many factories extract the fossil fuels, such as oil, coal and gas heavily, which has a negative impact on the environment. Another consideration is that humans are intensively destroying the oceans. Each year, human being dumps tons of garbage into the sea, destroying the aquatic life and, at the same time, contaminating the drink water.  
  
It seems like moving to another planet can solve this problem, however, I believe that reserch on fiding it would be a waste of resouces. First, there is no guarantee that scientists will find a suitable planet in one day. Though our astronomy is thriving remarkably, it is still a question whether a planet that similar to Earth is existed. Secondly, resources should be used to enhance environmentally-friendly technologies or improve health services. People are treating Earth in a wrong way but it may took at least millions of years to be completely destroyed. Until that day comes, humans must concentrate on preserving the Earth. To take a simple example, developments on machines that effectively renewable energy should be considere.  
  
To sum up, I believe research on a new planet to settle is a waste of time and money, and resources should be to used to sustain lives here on Earth.
You are making unverified claims in your opening sentence that do not comply with the original prompt statement. There is nothing "obvious" about finding new planet to house humans. Nor is this a "hotly debated issue". Such unsupported claims, meaning the original prompt does not refer to such statements, means you have exaggerated your presentation by giving an opinion when it was not required in the response statement. As you forgot to place the original prompt with your response, I cannot verify the appropriateness of your response in comparison to the actual discussion requirement. Kindly post the full prompt next time along with your essay.  
  
Your discussion paragraph rely too much on word fillers and less on actual analytical representation of your discussion. Always start with the topic sentence instead of a 2 sentence introduction. That does not help to present a clear discussion pattern in your presentation. Your reasoning presentations are not fully explained nor supported with additional data based on personal knowledge or public opinion. Both reasons would have increased your C&C score.  
  
The conclusion is less than the required 40 words. There is no clear summary of the presentation. Only a reference to a personal opinion, which created an open ended essay. There is no proper conclusion summary presented, which will have an effect on your TA score in a negative manner.
## In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books

  
  
It is a common belief that buying and reading printed books is the best way to broaden our horizons. In this modernized era, nevertheless, approaching newspapers or books via technological devices is moderately ubiquitous due to the amenities it brings to us.  
  
To begin with, there is a myriad of benefits of reading books through gadgets. Firstly, the internet has a huge amount of books, which totally can overshadow the quantities in the bookstore close to your home. Many enormous firms began to convey books to devices, for instance the Kindle from Amazons. Secondly, there is no doubt that technology is developing with an overwhelming pace, even in many areas with miserable conditions of life. For that reason it can help the inhabitants in those areas, who cannot afford paperbacks, have opportunity to gain knowledge.  
  
On top of that, wood has been extremely exploited for paper for a long period of time, so this innovation will decrease substantially the number of treeless hills, and help many forests to recover. Besides, all books will be digitalized so the expenses of constructing bookstores will no longer be extant. People can also save time because they will not have to go to the bookstores anymore.  
  
To sum up, reading books online will give more chances to enrich knowledge for any hierachies in society, save the world from deforestation and reduce large amounts of money. For these reasons, digital books will dominate traditional ones in the near future.
The original prompt for this essay requires an extent response. You have not discussed the essay as per the required topic and presentation format. The response you have provided is incorrect. The comparison of the original prompt to your version clearly shows the discrepancy in translation that cause the overall failure of the presentation.  
  
*Original Topic: In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books  
Original Reason: they will be able to read everything they want online without paying.  
Original Discussion Question: To what extent do you agree or disagree with this stetement?  
  
Your Topic: It is a common belief that buying and reading printed books is the best way to broaden our horizons.  
Your Reason: approaching newspapers or books via technological devices is moderately ubiquitous due to the amenities it brings to us.  
Your Response: No Response*  
  
As you can see, there is no semblance of similarity between the original discussion points and your interpretation. As such, the overall essay response / discussion represents an unrelated discussion presentation. Since the essay does not follow the instructions provided in the original, the response cannot be properly judged. It does not represent the required scoring requirements.
## pros and cons of shopping online

  
  
In modern life, online shopping is becoming increasingly popular. However, I believe that this trend can cause more and more pollution and some methods should be implemented.  
  
In terms of negatives, applying online shopping instead of traditional ways of purchasing can lead to overuse of coverings which then can cause more pollution. It is understandable that people are drowning with work on a regular basis and shopping online is an extremely suitable solution. However, because of the need to transport through numerous different places before sending to customers, covering stuff with more plastic bags or boxes than usual is undeniable. For example, instead of using one bag to hold a new shirt bought from a store, a shirt bought online can be covered by two plastic bags and even a box will be added.  
  
As a result, to protect our life and later generations, this problem should be solved by some suggested solutions below. First, there must be some rules to limit the number of plastic bags used to protect goods that are purchased on online websites. Equally important, people should be aware of the danger of rubbish they throw away to the environment after buying products online and after that, recycle the bags as much as possible. Last but not least, some alternative materials should be used such as paper, cotton boxes.  
  
In conclusion, shopping online is convenient in our daily life, but its drawback is more concerning. People need to recognize the disadvantages of overwhelming coverings, need more rules to limit plastic bags, and use alternative materials to cover products so that we do not have to end up with more pollution.
I think there are some problems with your writing.  
Firstly, your opinion seems to be illogical and unconvinced. I think you had noticed this but you didn't have any choices because of misunderstanding the question. The question meant if it had positive or negative effects on the environment. However, misunderstanding the question made you think that you have to write about the negative effects.  
  
Secondly, I am not sure about the question as you didn't write it clearly but I think it is not necessary to talk about the solutions if the question doesn't require you to do it.
ClockWork has already pointed out the ambiguity of the answer you provided, but I think another flaw in this essay you should address is the lack of proper evidence.  
  
You're making all these blanket statements without providing facts or statistics to back it up making the argument you're presenting **extremely weak**. There's really no reason why anyone should believe anything you wrote in your essay, but you can easily change that by presenting some relevant facts/statistics to the reader. I believe you'll be able to find some good supporting evidence with just a bit of surface level research.  
  
Good luck!
***Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school.***  
  
## Discuss both views and give your opinion.

  
  
People 's opinions differ as to whether to get a job or continue their education.While there are some benefits to get a job straight after school,I still believe that it is better to go to college or university  
  
There are several reasons why people opt to start work straight after school.Firstly ,young people are able to earn money as soon as possible >by this way ,they will be more independent and be able to pay all costs.Secondly,a person who get a job straight may progress rapidly in their carrer.This brings a good chance to gain more experiences and skills for their profession  
  
On the other hand,I believe that it is more beneficial for students to continue their studies .First ,many positions are required academic qualification.Thus ,university graduates will probably get a much higher salary than those without university education .Furthermore, the job market is getting more and more competitive so the recruiter are likely to be hard with young people who do not get a degree.  
  
In conclusion,it seems to me that in the long term, it is better for young generation to choose their studies instead of getting a job.
This essay would get an automatic failing score based solely on the limited word count. Writing 200 out of 250 words means the word count deductions will be so severe, your essay may not be able to achieve a passing score. Your paragraphs are incompletely presented and developed. There is no comparison of the 2 public points of view, prior to your personal opinion presentation. The essay does not follow the either of the required writing formats. The acceptable formats are:  
  
- Topic + Discussion of public opinion + Personal opinion of the public opinion + explanation + supporting example (optional)  
- 1st point of view topic + public explanation + example (done twice for both public viewpoints) then the personal opinion presentation  
  
The concluding summary is too short. It does not reflect a proper 40 word (minimum) summary of the discussion presentation. This essay does not work as a discussion presentation for these reasons. In your future essays, focus on increasing your word count first. Once you already write more than 250 words (275-290 being ideal), then you can focus on the discussion format and content presentation.
Hi all,  
I am going to have an IELTS test in the next month and I'm feeling quite worried about my writing skill. Please give me your feedback and thank you so much!!!  
  
***People should work for the same company all their working life, while others believe that it is better to work for different ones.***  
## Discuss both views and give your opinion.

  
  
In recent decades, the question of whether people devote all of their life to a company or work for different organizations has been receiving a great deal of public attention. Although this is a hotly-debated with various views of many individuals, the former seems not to outweigh the latter.  
  
To begin with, some proponents claim that the public should work for the same company for all their working life. One of the reasons could be concerned is that job stability would be synonymous with having a stable income. It means that they will not in a state of unemployment and have an opportunity to earn a monthly wage. This results in being less worried about the expenditure per month, such as house rent or shopping bill, while the others who do not have a stable salary might become a criminal for this spending. For example, the rate of crime in Africa is often significantly high because the government cannot tackle the problem of joblessness.  
  
On the other hand, many opponents believe that job satisfaction may play a more paramount role in life. To specify, their explanation is due to the fact that people can suffer a sense of happiness. This is because they have a chance to do their interests and not have to be stuck in a rut, which makes them be prone to anxiety or cause serious mental health problems. Consequently, their work productivity might go up effectively, which can result in getting a well-paid salary. For instance, Google has been recognizing as a desirable and successful company thanks to their policy of providing essential facilities to their employees as well as a high wage.  
  
In conclusion, the public is more likely to be successful in their careers if they can achieve their satisfaction. Only by considering their decisions carefully, can people make their choice correctly.
There are several problems with your presentation:  
- Incorrect paraphrasing  
- Incorrect response to the given instruction  
-Incorrect paragraph formatting  
-Incorrect conclusion  
  
These are the reasons that your essay will fail the test. Specific reasons for failure are:  
  
Paragraph 1: Prompt paraphrase- There are no reference points to recent decades in the original presentation. You are including non-essential information rather than restating the facts as provided. This is a discussion, not a hotly debated topic. There is no reference to such in the original. There is also a need to compare both points of view before you present a personal opinion. You changed the discussion instruction from comparative to single opinion.  
  
Paragraph 2: Sentence structure issues. Lack of connecting word usage within sentences. Change of discussion focus from working for the same company to the government cannot tackle the problem of joblessness. The paragraph disconnects the two topics. Only the first topic is connected to the actual discussion.  
  
Paragraph 3: Focuses on staying at the same company, just like paragraph 2, rather than discussing why people should move from job to job. Prompt deviation number 2. Points deductions again.  
  
\* There is no personal opinion that compares the two public points of view. Incorrect paragraph formatting.  
  
The essay will fail because you did not meet the writing requirements of the task. Prior to writing these essays, you should familiarize yourself with the various response formats first. That way you will give yourself the opportunity to identify the differing discussion concepts and presentations as required to pass the test.
**Topic:  
## Learning about the past has no value for those of us living in the present.

  
*To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?***  
  
Essay:  
It is often said that there is no point in studying history as it often seems incompatible with modern life. Personally, I completely disagree with this view.  
  
In my view, individuals should make it a point to study history in depth. Obviously, learning this subject requires the use of a range of methods and analytical tools in order to reconstruct and uncover the past. In this way, we can gain a variety of transferable skills, from informed citizenship and critical thinking, to research and general awareness, which are relevant and applicable to many different disciplines. Furthermore, building knowledge and understanding of historical events and trends, especially national ones, can build important moral and spiritual values amongst individuals. For instance, being taught about how their ancestors defended themselves against foreign invaders, young generations will develop a sense of patriotism and national pride, and therefore, are motivated to work towards the betterment of their country.  
  
The study of history is also essential for humanity as a whole for several reasons. Firstly, history has the power to reveal how people and societies have actually functioned, which can serve as an almost endless source of materials for visual arts and literature. Secondly, there are a number of events in the past that repeated themselves, just in some other ways, it would help to ensure negative outcomes won't happen again. To take World War II as an example, many of the causes of it were similar to those of World War I, so if we would have identified the actions that led to World War I, we might have been able to prevent the outbreak of World War II. Finally, through historical pattern analysis, we may be able to predict what sort of things will most likely happen and determine how to approach the future appropriately.  
  
In conclusion, I would argue that lessons from the past have advanced humans, both individually and collectively, and thus, we should not dismiss history as worthless or irrelevant.
You only need up to 290 words to discuss this essay. Never forget that you have to write a perfect essay, not just a long essay. Use most of the time to clean up your work, rather than just type away, assume that it is perfect, then submit for a grade. That cockiness is what has proven to be the undoing of the students who do not listen to me, and would rather listen you their ego stroking friends and members at this forum who believe they are better than the actual educational consultant.  
  
Your paraphrase uses the term "incompatible" rather than "useless", which is the more appropriate term to use as an alternate word for "no value". The topic reasoning changed because of your improper use of English vocabulary. You failed to outline the 2 topics for your complete disagreement with this point of view. So there are no summarized reasons for your opinion, which also serves as the discussion outline for the presentation.  
  
Use topic sentences instead of sentence fillers in your essay. You are not being scored on the number of English words that you know, which create an unnecessarily long presentation, but senseless paragraph. Get to the point immediately. The score is based upon how well you can present your English discussion, using comprehensive statements, not long winded vocabulary exercises.
Hello,  
Please keep in mind that the IELTS WRITING TASK 2 requires at least 250 words and that you have only 40 minutes to complete this task. In that length of time, you have to not only think up relevant ideas, but also how to arrange them logically, and then write a whole essay. Thus, in my opinion, it is best to write from 260-290 words. ( Your essay is 509 WORDS!!)  
  
The topic requires you to discuss 2 things: why many teenagers these days prefer socializing online to meeting one another in personand the solutions encourage teenagers to spend more time meeting one another in person.  
  
In your essay, you have forgotten to discuss the first points. This will greatly lower your score. And it is unnecessary to discuss the harmful effect of socializing online because the topic simply doesn't require you to do so. Instead of writing 2 lengthy paragraphs explain why socializing online is harmful, you should spend more time focusing on the 2 points the topic requires you to discuss.
Dear @tuyentruong,  
Firstly, I want to express my gratitude for giving a comment. I am still new to IELTS Writing, and your comment really show me the point of this excercise (which suprised me because I thought I grasped the requirements of this excercise).  
  
Really thank you for your quick feedback.  
  
I want to ask one more thing, if possible, I mean if I got all the 2 main points you have mentioned and I add why socializing online is harmful then wilI I get addition points?  
  
Thank you.
Dear @ TheCard,  
When Holt gave feedback on one of my essays, Holt said that additional information that the topic doesn't require you to discuss will not be included in the word count. For example, if I write a 300-word essay but I have used 100 words to discuss something that the topic doesn't mention, then my essay is under the word count because it will only have 200 words. This will lower my score because there is a penalty for being under the word count.  
  
But you can ask Holt for sure the next time he gives feedback on your work. I am just a student ( not an IELTS examiner) so I don't know much about the grading system. In my opinion, though, it is best to focus only on the points given by the topic. Anyway, your question is great. It gives me a pause for thought.  
  
*I hope your next essay will be successful!*