dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
Question:  
  
*Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language.  
  
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.  
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.*  
  
## reasons to learn a foreign language

  
  
There are over a thousand languages spoken in the world that people use in their daily lives. The reason person learning a foreign language may merely for traveling or business purpose.  
  
With the advance of technology, people travel to another country for fun or business is quite common nowadays. It motivates a lot of people obtaining another language as a communication skill. They may be more easy to inquire traveler's guide or bargain at lower price since they know how to use the language well. For business person, they are more accessible to global firms because language is no more a barrier of communication.  
  
However, some believe that there are more incentives for people to learn a foreign language. Take scientists for example, they have to do research with a variety of references from other countries, then they should learn some principles of other languages in order to understand the ideas in foreign language. As for historians, they should learn other languages to understand the living type of other cultures. With thousands of languages spoken in the world, people interchanges their language for better understanding and culture respect.  
  
I do learn languages but not only for traveling or working overseas. Learning foreign language is a way for me to know how people behaves, lives, and think in their own culture. I appreciate different cultures for its own distinction, and learning their languages makes me more acceptable to various cultures.  
  
Overall, traveling and work are major reasons for people to learn a foreign language while there are more cultural or scientific aspects for you to discover rather than language exchange only.
@Allentseng I can see that you understood the prompt requirement in its original form. Sadly, you were not able to properly restate the prompt, the discussion requirement, and clearly outline the expected discussion in your paraphrased opening statement. The lack of a properly restated prompt shows a lack of coherence and cohesiveness in the opening statement. This will, in an actual test, lead to a lower than passing score for your task accuracy portion. since the Task Accuracy portion is one of the most important considerations in your written essay, it is very possible that your essay will not be very good in the overall consideration of the 4 criteria for scoring.  
  
Speaking of scoring, the overall possible score for your essay is a 4. That is because the essay is not very good when it comes to discussion presentation and formatting. While paragraphs 2-4 shows the correct sentence requirement, the shortness of your opening statement and concluding paragraphs will affect your grammar accuracy score. Keep reminding yourself that the improvement of your score will rely on the more complex sentence presentation and improved vocabulary. The paragraph stands a better chance of proving that you are capable of writing well in English and that you understand how to use English words in the correct context of a sentence if you can present your thoughts within 3-5 sentences per paragraph.  
  
Your line of reasoning and examples provided are good but under developed in terms of proper representation of your discussion. If you try to discuss a limited number of examples, meaning only one example per requirement in the essay, you can spend more time proving that your English language usage has the potential to make you a good student in an English speaking school in the future. Once the reviewer realizes that you have a good command of the English language, meaning you can be understood properly by the reader, then you will most likely improve your overall final score for the essay portion.
[IELTS] Task 2 : I've done my essay but I think it has some errors, pls read it and help me  
  
*Motorways help people travel quickly and cover long distances but also cause problems. Why and give reasons ?*  
( I dont really remember the question :) sorry)  
  
## motorways importance for people

  
  
Most roads now are covered with concrete in order to facilitate the needs of traveling. But they also give rise to some negative consequences that really hinder the authorities. This essay will discuss this problem and give reasonable explanations of it.  
  
In the 21st century, means of transport have developed dramatically from motorbikes to sophisticated automobiles. Therefore roads also need to be upgraded to avert traffic congestion during rush hour . Furthermore, many industries rely on motorways such as delivery or taxi service. With an organized network of roads those businesses can be operated well. According to a recent survey from The Time, 90% of chief executive officers from famous companies such as Uber and Grab report that their revenue has increased 40% since 2000 thanks to the improved motorways.  
  
On the other hand, concrete roads have caused certain negative impacts. Firstly, the government must spend a significant amount of financial resources so as to invest in upgrading motorways. This is difficult for developing countries because their national funds would run out if they spent money on enhancing traffic roads. Secondly, organizing road networks involves resident's household. The authorities choose which houses need to be demolished in order to make room for motorways. As a result numerous families may lose their homes which contain items holding precious memories.  
  
In conclusion, motorways have both positive and negative impacts on the social community. Although they facilitate the demand for transportation and help avoid traffic jams, a better roads also costs a considerable sum of money and make people lose their beloved homes.  
  
( Thanks for reading my essay !!! Im still a newbie so if there are any mistakes, feel free to leave a comment !)
Are you kidding me?! Please remember that your essays cannot be properly reviewed and assessed if you cannot provide us with the proper prompt instructions. It is not a smiling matter to tell us that you cannot remember the question. How can you be helped or advised regarding improvements if there is nothing to base the observations of your work on? I cannot tell you that you did a good job if I don't know what the job you are being asked to do is. Remember, accuracy on your part means useful advice for your improvement on the contributors end.  
  
The essay that you wrote is confused, does not follow any coherent or cohesive discussion in relation to the (possible) prompt and and in effect would not get a passing score. Do not do research when writing these essay practices because you are not going to have internet access at the testing center. Always be conscious of the time limit (30 minutes) when you practice writing the test. Within 30 minutes, you only have time to use popular knowledge or personal experience for your discussions. Since I am not clear as to what your actual discussion instruction is, I cannot even tell you how to improve the possible problem points with your discussion.  
  
My final advice for you is this. Take the practice tests seriously. Offer a complete prompt discussion instruction when you ask us to review your essay. Make sure that you apply the correct writing method when you develop your essay. This is not a joke. This test will determine if you can study in the UK, Australia, and Canada, or not. This is not a tongue in cheek test so there is no "Ooops! Sorry!" moment. When you can't even remember the instructions for the essay, then you are bound to fail it.
## The most effective and affordable method for the health issues is prevention

  
  
Government should make awareness among people that preventing a disease is more important in the first place than contracting a disease and then opting for treatment.I totally agree to the idea and the best way to keep oneself physically fit is daily exercise.  
  
Health is important for physical and mental well being of people.It is the duty of government to make basic health facilities available to its citizen be its rich or poor.For this government has set an extended health system comprising of basic health units and tertiary health units.Health specialist all over the world are of the view that its better to prevent contagious and life threatening diseases rather than treating it after getting caught by the disease.In this regard government should make awareness among people by starting campaigns involving printing and visual media .Moreover they should induct health professionals who should go to far flung areas and educate people where no other means of communication are possible.One such example is polio awareness program as polio has eradicated in developed countries but its still there in developing countries like Pakistan ,where our country is taking all the necessary measures to educate people and clear their myths and misconceptions.on the other hand most people believe that its not only duty of government to provide facility but individual effort on his/her part is also necessary. To keep oneself fit he should have a healthy lifestyle with daily exercise .One should avoid sedentary life style that leads to obesity and is the root cause of various diseases.  
  
thus in my opinion in order to prevent diseases and have a healthy life government should spend a good amount of its annual budget and make reforms to create awareness among people.
Sana, your paraphrasing is not in the acceptable format. It does not clearly explain the original topic for discussion nor does it accurately outline the type of discussion that shall be proceeding. Due to the lack of information regarding your essay, I am unable to accurately address the prompt responsiveness of your opening statement. Please remember to always include the original prompt instructions with your essays for review.  
  
Your second paragraph is also unacceptable as it goes beyond the maximum 5 sentence requirement per paragraph. That happened because you decided to discuss 2 separate ideas in a single paragraph. Each paragraph must contain only one idea and one discussion in order to accurately represent your control of the written English language. Therefore, this paragraph should have been divided into 2 with the example of Polio representing the 3rd paragraph in the 5 paragraph opinion essay.  
  
Your conclusion is even more problematic as you totally disregarded the English writing rules by starting the sentence with a small rather than a capitalized letter. The academically accepted rule is that the first word of a given sentence, regardless of its placement in the paragraph, must be capitalized. Aside from that, your conclusion does not follow the mandatory format for an essay conclusion. Review the rules regarding the proper writing of an essay conclusion in order to correct this mistake in the future.
**Motorways help people travel quickly and cover long distances but they also cause problems. What are the problems of motorways and what solutions are there?**  
  
## high-speed transportation shortcomings - solutions

  
  
It is true that the construction of motorways promotes high-speed transportation and alleviate burden of prolonged travelling. Despite these advantages, this amenity has its own demerits such as environmental degradation, pollution and dangerous journeys.  
  
One of the main issues associated with broad highway is the negative impact on environment. Many of these routes, for example, have created after destroying clusters of plant species, thus reducing the green part of the area, which promotes the chance of global warming. Moreover, heavy traffic on motorways creates pollution. This means vehicles emit enormous amount of smoke and probably a great noise, consequently people and nature might suffer with this problem.  
  
Yet another main problems of motorways is its chances of accidents due to speed of motor vehicles and weather conditions. In these routes, for instance, speed limits likely to be more higher than city or village routes. If they are not maintaining adequate speed or exceeds limits, perhaps will lead to road traffic accidents. Furthermore, climatic conditions often increase accidents by altering visual pathways or covering sign boards (for example: smog). These all are the main demerits of motorways.  
  
There are some solutions that can be taken to curtail issues in motorways. Firstly, government should plan properly before constructing such pathways and give more consideration to the environment in order to reduce negative impact on it. Secondly, it is always possible to provide awareness campaign to drivers regarding traffic rules and protocols to reduce incidents. Lastly, smoke tests strategies and sound restrictions policies should be implemented to curb the issues of pollution.  
  
To conclude, thanks to motorway, which helps to save more time in the hectic life of many people: however, its negative consequences should not be forgotten. On the other hand, close and cordial actions on the part of government and public can help to curtail such negatives to a great extent.  
  
Dear friends, kindly give your suggestion. Because I have stuck on 6.5 in ielts exam after my 3rd attempt in writing module as I need 7 band. Please
Anu, the overall score for your essay is a 5. The score is based upon the improper paraphrasing of the opening statement, lack of proper paragraph / discussion development, and lack of complex sentence development. Your lexical resource is amateur at best and did not help to increase your score either. Had you properly paraphrased the prompt discussion, your score could have been increased to at least a 6. At this point, your biggest problem in the essay seems to be your inability to properly paraphrase the prompt. That led to a misunderstanding of the prompt requirements and your discussion. Since the paraphrasing is supposed to outline the discussion, in the manner required by the original instruction, you need to practice developing your outline statements. Make sure that you only offer the topic for discussion, the discussion purpose, and the manner of discussion properly in the opening statement before you move on to the body paragraphs.  
  
In order to increase your score, use only one strong discussion subject per paragraph instead of 2. The way you have your paragraphs set up, you only managed to present the idea instead of properly setting up the discussion in a coherent and cohesive manner. That means that the paragraphs need to clearly show your topic and fully explain its relevance to the discussion. This is how you manage to increase your vocabulary and grammar score. When you try to present more than one idea in a paragraph, the essay suffers because you are not able to properly represent your English grammar / written skills.  
  
In reference to your paragraphs, make sure that you always have at least 3 sentences in there, regardless of whether it is the paraphrasing, body paragraph, or conclusion. With regards to the conclusion that you have written, you should have properly summarized the effects of the development of motorways within the paragraph. One sentence representing that would have been sufficient. As it is, your concluding statement is incomplete and could really use some work so you could improve the presentation.
## advanced technology brings problems

  
  
With rapid development of technology, the life becomes more convenient and comfortable, while some people think that it can be much better when the technology was not that complicated. Although the modern technology put a quick rhythm in our lives and much pressure, I consider it is still greater to live in the present.  
  
For one thing, technology transformed the transportation over the whole world. Without the transportation we use everyday. It's hard to imagine that how people could get to the workplace without delaying. If everything is operated smoothly in companies, the company can reach their expected goals quickly. Moreover, it makes employees have more flexible time to communicate with each other and do leisure activities, which can lighten their pressure in lives.  
  
For another, communications between people are getting better with technology. Some people may oppose to this since there are no face-to-face talks between people. In addition, many messages are involved only the emoji and some really simple words, which are typed just by our fingers. However, many communicating applications haves solved the problem such as Lines and Facebook. They give people an opportunity to see the person they want to talk to no matter where they. With these correspondent devices, people can get access to the information globally.  
  
The reasons given above are just a few of the many that can illustrate how technology provides people with a better life. It is of great significance that if we control the pace of life by ourselves and use the technology appropriately, we can assure that we live a better life nowadays.
@YuTingJim the approach you have taken to the discussion of this essay is faulty. Note that the prompt specifically asks for the "extent" of your agreement or disagreement with the statement. Therefore, your opinion should be stated in the something similar to the following manner; *"I disagree with the opinion that life was better when technology was simpler. The extent of my disagreement is based upon several reasons that I will be discussing in the following paragraphs."* There is also a problem with your paraphrasing of the prompt topic for discussion. Your first sentence should have been presented as 2 separate sentences because there are 2 separate thoughts being presented in it. Therefore, each separate thought requires a separate sentence. A comma or the word "and" can only be used in a sentence if it is going to be representing 2 connected or interrelated thoughts. Since you are depicting two types of thought, you need to separate the sentences. You must also learn to properly summarize your discussion by correctly representing another version of the paraphrased statement, a comprehensive listing of your reasons, and a closing sentence. The closing sentence can be something as simple as "In conclusion..." at the start of the paragraph. Please refrain from introducing new information, as you did in this essay, within the conclusion as the concluding statement is never used to present additional information or opinions in the essay. That is academically unacceptable and will lower your final score.
Farhad Mohamed  
Paul Franckowiak  
ENG 108  
  
## Dolma

  
Dolma is a stuffed grape leaf recipe that has been made in the Mediterranean area for centuries. Ancient cooks also knew Turkish dolma and Greek thrion; thrion is pickled fig leaves, which resembles modern day dolma. Grape leaves began to appear around the first century A.D. The dolma recipe consists of the grape leaves that are blanched and then wrapped around a filling that consists of cooked rice and herbs with either minced lamb or beef. It can be served either cold or hot. There are two kinds and if it is meat, it is served hot and with a sauce. The other one is stuffed with rice, which also consists of nuts and raisins, which are often served cold.  
  
Dolma is very famous in the Mediterranean area and the Middle Eastern countries. Kurdish and Turkey may have influenced the stuffed grape leaves but the stuffing of vegetables has its roots in Arab cookery. Dolma has a path through history as a favorite and tasteful dish throughout the Mediterranean and Middle East. Dolma is also made with cabbage leaves and chard. They are made with the same ingredients, which are as follows below.  
  
Dolma chard & cabbage:  
1 1/2 cups uncooked long-grain white rice, such as basmati  
Fresh or dried parsley  
2 tbsp. olive oil  
2 onions, minced  
Two cloves garlic, finely minced  
1 1/2 cups uncooked long-grain white rice  
3 tbsp. tomato paste  
1-teaspoon ground allspice  
1-teaspoon ground cumin  
Green Onions  
Yogurt  
Dolma made with grape leaves:  
One (8-ounce) jar grape leaves, drained and rinsed  
Mix the beef, lamb, rice, olive oil, salt, mint, parsley, pepper and onions. This is the filling. Next, rinse the grape leaves and separate in a colander. Place 2 to three grapes leaves stem-side up on a workstation; they should overlap each other. Place desired amount of filling in the center and roll, folding in the sides. Repeat with the remaining grape leaves and filling. Arrange tightly together in a stockpot. Once the stockpot is full, cut the lemons in half and put on top. Cover with beef stock and simmer until the rice is soft, 30 to 45 minutes. (Scarato, 2012).  
  
Work cite  
Baper, G. (2013) DOLMAS, Phoenix, Arizona: Phoenix College Student  
foodnetwork/recipes/dolmas-recipe/index.html  
Recipe courtesy Rosario Scarato, Anthonino's Tavern Show (2012). Accessed 8 July 2017.
Farhad. you need too develop the evolutionary story of Dolma from the Yaprag stage before you being to discuss the modern evolution and the reasons why it has become a popular food fare in these modern times. The food history is important because it shows the traditional importance of the food and also allows the reader to understand why the preparation styles have evolved over time. Without that historical context, your essay is lacking in terms of informing the reader regarding and enticing them to either try to prepare the food or order it at a Turkish restaurant (if available). Don't end the recipe so abruptly. Since you are still writing a research essay, you must add a concluding statement at the bottom of the recipe. It would be nice if you could conclude the essay with the reasons as to why you chose to use this recipe for this presentation, or something along those lines. The work you did is acceptable, but can be further improved if you consider using my aforementioned suggestions.
Vivian, even though this essay has some minor grammatical flaws and lacks an appropriate concluding paragraph, I can safely tell you that you have the ability to get the highest mark of 5 in this section of the TOEFL test. You have used the "hook" to reel in your reader very effectively in the opening statement and you clearly and accurately paraphrased the prompt requirement, issuing a personal opinion, without actually discussing it in the opening statement. The opening paragraph alone is already worth applauding. A point for correction though. When you are going to be relying on your personal experience in defense of your stance, then take ownership from the very beginning. Try to avoid using too many idioms or proverbs in your next paragraphs because those are most effective only as hooks in your opening statement. In the body of the essay, those just become word fillers to meet the minimum requirement. When you are discussing from a personal point of view, a personal experience is always the best narrative to show. For example, when you mention the need for friends in the classroom, don't be hypothetical about it. Make the paragraph stronger by using a real event that happened to you. When you discuss the drawbacks, one will be enough. There is no need to over discuss the issue. Remember, you only have 30 minutes to draft, review, edit, and finalize your essay. Keep the essay short but informative. Don't forget to conclude the essay with the summary of the discussion at the end. That is the only unrepresented paragraph in your essay that would have possibly pulled your score down to a 4. Overall, your command of the English language is almost at a native speaker level and that will help you pass the TOEFL with flying colors in the end.