dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
## young people spend too much of their time in shopping malls

  
  
Some people believe that spending too much time in shopping centres could be detrimental for young adults and society as a whole. To a certain extent, I agree that this trend does some bad effects on the youths, I also think that there are several positive outcomes for communities.  
  
On the one hand, by spending leisure time shopping, young people are exposed to a large number of commercials and products which only drives their desire to purchase and consume more. This can create an unhealthy state of mind and a consumerist attitude toward life. Besides, for individuals, spending too much time in shopping centres also means they are missing out on other recreational activities. It is well-known that those who spend the outdoors playing sports and doing volunteer activities will enjoy a much healthier lifestyle.  
  
On the other hand, the reason why many youngsters use their spare time on shopping varies. One explanation for this could be the living standard of people is improving such as high salary. Therefore; people's demands are increasing significantly. In addition, Along with the growth in demand, more and more shopping malls are being established to trigger people's greed for possession and also provide more jobs. Furthermore, in a competitive market, companies not only focus on the quality of products but also consider the price. This causes the price down and boosts people's purchasing.  
  
In conclusion, there is a tendency that young people are spending a large amount of time on shopping while it does some negatives on the young generation, It is undeniable that there are also positive influences on economics
Though this is an extent essay, it does not allow the writer to both agree anddisagree with the topic presented. That is because the given discussion does not use the balanced comparative reasoning presentation. The 2 reasoning paragraphs still need to support a single opinion point of view. As such, the task will get minimal accuracy scoring as it does not state a clear opinion based on the required discussion format. The overall essay will also receive less scoring considerations because of the incorrect response presentation. The writer must have a clear single opinion right from the start1 discussed over 2 supporting paragraphs of valid supporting reasons. Try to avoid the memorized phrase " To a certain extent I" because it is only a placeholder that should be replaced with an emotional descriptive response. The writer tried to write a well scoring essay that was held back by the incorrect response format. He must familiarize himself with the various correct discussion format per question to achieve this full scoring marks.
**Topic:  
*Some people say that it is impossible for a country to be both economically successful and have a clean environment.***  
## To what extent do you agree or disagree?

  
  
To a certain extent, I agree that a nation can be both prosperous and able to protect environment. However, I also think that economic development is perhaps causing environmental pollution if the government doesn't have an appropriate policy.  
  
On the one hand, economic stability can't happen without the harmful effects of nature. The main reason is that more and more industry factories and transport in the modern society, which emits a lot of dust, waste and so on.... These problems will lead to air pollution, water pollution, and especially the issue of global warming causing the greenhouse effect. It can be seen that in Vietnam, the industry is on the rise making wastes such as wastewater, emissions released into the atmosphere, rivers. This matter represents a great economic potential of Vietnam, but it is suffering from heavy pollution. Moreover, the use of fossil fuels is also one of the causes of pollution problem.  
  
Nevertheless, it is my belief that one of the methods to develop the economy while protecting the surroundings is to utilize renewable energy. By using these energy sources, we can reduce not only the need of fuel, coal but also pollution caused by industrial productivity. For example, Japan has people who take advantage of solar energy and even make a lot of money by selling it to other countries making their country more prosperous.  
  
In conclusion, although it is argued that environmental damage is inevitable due to the accelerating economic development. I think it is entirely possible if people take steps to increase the use of alternative energy and encourage recycling with that the government should come up with measures to balance the economy and the environment.
The prompt restatement is faulty for 2 reasons :  
  
1. The topic rewording, based on the understanding of the author is missing in totality.  
2. The writer used the "certain extent" properly as a measured reference point, but does not use a correct supporting statement. The use of the terms "However" and "I think" is inappropriate in this case as it appears to change the discussion and reasoning slant It should have been more properly integrated in the extent response to show that this is where his disagreement with the statement starts. Had the aforementioned words not been used, the "certain extent" reference would have been properly met.  
  
The writer will not be scored based on his comparative discussion as this is a single opinion defense essay. 2 supporting reasons for the given opinion are required. Partial scoring will apply only to the limited or relevant reasoning paragraph that lends credence to the previously stated opinion.
## study food at school

  
  
While some believe that it's important to teach students biology aspect of food and cooking skills, others think school time should be spent covering more significant subjects. I strongly agree with the former for many substantial reasons.  
  
To begin with, preparing meals for oneself is a crucial adult skill because it allows them to live seperately from their parent support. As a result, it offers people more freedom in choosing appropriate jobs regardless of distance and cultural issues. For examples, those who cannot cook usually accept career options in their locals because they are constantly in need of prepared meals from their family. When they are, unfortunately, assigned to work in other countries, they will definitely have a hard time adjusting eating habits because the difference in foreign food cuisine. Moreover, the extra-budget that self-prepare food save for oneself can effectively contribute to their total income, preventing junior workers from overspending and borrowing money from their parents.  
  
In addition, when people are taught about the importance of healthy food and cooking recipes, they prefer making their own meals to fastfood. This helps them avoid taking in too much sugar, fat and cholesterol from junkfoods, which are all major risk factors for many future chronic diseases. In some asian cultures, children are induced by their family to add more vegetables to their meal to reduce and balance out the intake calories. This early age-developed healthy eating habits has resulted in the low obesity rates in these countries in comparison with America, where junkfood is a big part of a child's dietary.  
  
In conclusion, it is should be mandatory for students to learn about food science and cooking methods at school due to the wide range of advantages it offers. High schools around the world can figure out ways to attach cooking classes to students' curriculum and encourage them to prepare food with high-quality and healthy ingredients.
The expectation for the paragraphs is that the writer should present at least 3 sentences in it, specially in the replacement + personal opinion section. That is because every sentence is expected to represent 1 idea each. While the first paragraph presentation is acceptable, it does not meet the sentence format requirementso the task score will he limited for that section.The lack of opinion thesis topics after the opinion response also added to the deductions for this section.  
  
There isa lack of public opinion discussion in the presentation. The required GRA presentations are not seen in the overall discussion. These missing elements indicates that the writer wrote from a personal opinion viewpoint alone. Rather than being scored based on 3 discussion related scoring criteria, the presentation will be scored based on only 1. It may not be enough to receive a passing score since not all the discussions presented are relevant to the original topic. The writer wrote selectively instead of addressing all of the prompt topics.
Write about the following topic.  
  
To meet the growing need for food to support an increasing population, a country should make use of edible insects as a food source. However, some people believe that insects are not only unhealthy but harvesting them will also negatively affect nature. What are the benefits and drawbacks of eating insects? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.You should write at least 250 words.  
  
## edible insects as a food source?

  
  
**ANSWER**  
  
As the growth of our population which was infect the rose of our foods needed, a country could use an insects for their new food supplies. Although some person trust that we were not supposed to eat insects because it is not good for our health and we could get bad effect after we harvested them.  
  
There is a good reason for us to make an insects as our new food supplies. If we start to consumed insects, the price of another food will be decreasing because their demand will go down. Another good idea, the supply of insects was very large in this era. We also don't need a big space if we are going to farm them, because they physically small and easily fit. Their needs is not complicated because they usually lived in the open air.  
  
Insects have many kind of species that we should observe if we are going to eat them. Some kind of them have poison in their body that can give us after effect if we ate them. That can be a positive or negative effects. With their small postures, we hardly recognize which kind of insects it is, then we need more time to know is it consumeable or not.  
  
Insects could be our new food source, but we should have a research first about any kind of insects that can we eat. After get the research's result, the government of the country supposed to give knowledge to their people which kind of insects is safe to be consumed and how to mark each kind of insects.
The writer will clearly get failing marks in all the sections of scoring. This is because the writer does not have even an intermediate grasp of the English language and word meaning. His vocabulary is at the beginner level at the most, while his writing skills are definitely within the failing range of the GRA considerations. He does not have the ability to construct correct English sentences that will pass as simple, complex, and compound. His structure is confusing as he is constantly using past tense references when he should be speaking in present tense.  
  
His presentations lack in coherence and cohesive paragraph development. The ability of the writer to make himself understood is limited by his inaccurate sentence structure and word usage. While he is making an effort to make himself coherent to the reader, he fails to do this due to his lack of ability to control his word formations. He must enroll in formal English language classes, at the beginner level, before he can even attempt to take the IELTS test for the first time. If he does so take the test at his current English level, he is going to fail every test section and every scoring aspect of each test.
## Can any obstacle or disadvantage be turned into something good?

  
  
Living life in this strange world may be challenging for everyone. Some are fortunate to live a luxurious lifestyle and others are born with hardship. In either case, everyone faces different kinds of challenges in life and I believe it depends on the people how they are going to adapt and manage the situation to overcome all the obstacles they may experience in life.  
  
This is what I have learned recently as a mom. Saying to a child that he/she is fortunate to live a life without problems is not ideal. Because of the fact that children at a very young age also experience different kinds of difficulties such as: not getting enough attention, not being able to express themselves, not getting what they want, and so on. In this case, parents are supposed to address and help the children overcome these hardships and the best way to do this is to bring out something positive about the situation.  
  
People are made uniquely individuals. I believe that each person is purposely made differently because each one of us has different kinds of roles in this world. Sometime last week, I came across this video of a woman who was interviewed for mother's day. She was sharing all the hardships that she faced in her life. There is one line that she said that really stuck to me. She said, "God gave her obstacles not because He is punishing her but to prepare her for the greater things that she will receive." In her interview she said at the end, she realized that all the hardship she experienced helped her to become a better person for herself and for her children.  
  
Everything that we do is based on our choices and if we want to turn every obstacle, challenge, or negative thing that happens to us into a positive, then we must work on our personality, mental health, and mindset. Each person is responsible for her own happiness and it is us that will decide if we want to bring the positive in every negative we may face in the future. Therefore, In my opinion, yes, any obstacle or disadvantage can be turned into something good.  
  
Thank you for reading! This is just my practice entry. I will take my accuplacer test this Friday and I'm super nervous.  
Kindly help me and criticize my work. :)
Since you are taking the accuplacer test as an ESL, you need to consider the number of words you will be writing in relation to the time allottment for the WritePlacer ESL. Kindly ask the testing center, if possible, for the time allottment that you will be given to complete the discussion. At 360 words, I feel like you are overwriting in terms of presentation. Just like any other ESL test, the main consideration of the examiner will be your ability to make yourself quickly and coherently understood in English. Overwriting will open you up to certain scoring errors that you may not be conscious of. It will do you well to know the time constraint in advance, so that you can adjust your writing style accordingly. At any rate, try to keep the presentation simple and concise as much possible. Your score will benefit from it.  
  
It will be best to avoid any religious references in any presentation as religion is a bit of a controversial topic whenever touched upon in the essays. It is best to remain neutral in this aspect and avoid stepping on any toes, just in case. You won't lose points for offering a general discussion, which is what the examiner will expect to read about. Good job on using your life experiences though. That always helps in the scoring consideration. It shows how well you understood the question and its relationship to you.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Actual Test:  
  
Topic: **Some people think that children should begin their formal education at a very early age. Others think they should begin after 7 years of age. Discuss both views and give your own opinion**  
  
## Opinion essay

  
  
There is a long-running debate on the optimal age for children to commence formal school. While some believe that we should introduce structured education to children as soon as possible, I am of the opinion that the school curriculum should be delayed until the age of seven.  
  
On the one hand, those with the former view argue that the sooner approach to academic learning methods could form a stronger foundation of phonological and literacy skills since young children are believed to learn at a more rapid pace than older ones. Early introduction of literacy and numeracy at school could also allow students "not to fall behind" others, giving them better chances to compete with their peers and gain more success in life. In addition, being familiar with academic-intensive curriculum and school regulations, those juniors could develop a range of skills in organizational behaviors, competitiveness and independence at the very early age, which enable them to more easily adapt to their future work.  
  
On the other hand, I firmly believe that a later start of formal education, around age of 7, has outweighed benefits for children. There are several strands of evidence which all point towards the importance of play in young children's development, and the value of the extended period of playful learning before the start of formal schooling. A play-based early educational program could enhance crucial interactions between children and the environment, allowing them to strengthen their physical, social, emotional and cognitive development. It is noticeable that those skill sets, if under the application of formal structure of learning, are certainly hindered by the pressure of academic study load and the lack of access to active, creative and outdoor play. As for long-term impacts, the stress-free childhood, earned by the delay of formally taught lessons at school, could massively contribute to their later educational achievements. Recent research shows that in countries where playful experience and self-discovery methods are implemented until the age of 6 or 7 like Sweden and Finland, the rankings in academic results are significantly higher than those with earlier official school entry age.  
  
In conclusion,while early academic education could benefit to some extent, I hold a belief that the delayed engagement in formal school could offer more foreseen advantages in the interests of children's future achievements and their emotional well-being.
The writer understood the topic for the essay, but failed to properly represent the 2 public opinions as required of the prompt restatement section of the first paragraph. He went directly to his personal opinion, which created an altered discussion topic and opinion writing instruction. The essay failed to deliver the task restatement + writer opinion in the expected format. This paragraph will receive a failing score due to the inaccurate requirement representation.  
  
The reasoning discussions are also inaccurate as these are all stemming from the personal opinion of the writer rather than following the correct format of:  
  
Par. 2: Public opinion 1 + Explanation of the valid public reasons supporting it  
Par. 3: Public opinion 2 + Explanation why the belief is valid  
Par. 4: Personal opinion + reasons supporting its validity  
  
The concluding paragraph is also in error as it suddenly shifts the discussion to a measured opinion presentation, which is not part of the original discussion consideration. This further alters the presentation from the original, creating a failing concluding paragraph as well.  
  
At this point, there is a highly limited possibility that this essay might receive a passing score. The writer needs to learn how to focus only on the given discussion instructions and to change nor go overboard with his discussion reasoning paragraphs.
A glance at the graph provided reveals the number of people in 3 nations who are fond of living in the metropolis rather than living in the countryside over the 25 years from 2000 .  
  
It is evident that all three countries have had a steady increase in the number of migrants through many years . Particularly, country C has the largest proportion compared to 2 countries A and B respectively .  
  
In 2000 , around 10 million people of nation B chose the city as the ideal place to live and lower than 3 million people as opposed to nation A . Whilst , just a small proportion of nation C nearly 5 million people moved from the city at the early stages . Experienced for 2 decades , this was followed by a period of exponential growth with citizens in country C reaching the same figure as country A . The figure in country B increased steadily ; however , the population gap was just one-quarter of that of the two remaining countries .  
  
By 2025 , the population in nation C is expected to be nearly 100 million people . To be specific , the figure 's nation C has a steep rise over 5 years and nation A also goes up slightly above 85 million people . By contrast , nation B's growth is far less striking than the other two countries and will have stability in the figure during the same period.  
  
*
Never ask the reader to look at the image reference in any case. The assumption for this and all task 1 report analysis essays is that the writer will be delivering a comprehensive and coherent discussion, without the need to look at the image. The assumption is always that the reader does not have any access to the image and therefore, will be reliant on the ability of the report to help the reader create a mental image as a reference point.  
  
The writer has provided misinformation in the presentation which will affect the accuracy of the report. The numbers indicate the movement of people between the city and country areas. It does not at any time or any form refer to:  
  
who are fond of living in the metropolis rather than living in the countryside  
As such, the writer has a topic interpretation inaccuracy that will affect the TA score due to the misdirection of the discussion topic. He has also delivered only a semi accurate image representation since he only indicated the existence that a graph was included, but not the type of graph, which would have led to a more accurate summary information presentation.  
  
The word count is 232 words, which is over the 200m maximum word count. The writer needs to learn to write shorter presentations as this is only a concise analysis and not an opinion presentation. It may not be possible to complete such a word count within 20 minutes during the actual test.
## distance-learning or attending a college?

  
  
In the age of technology, online study is highly considered by lots of people through the Internet and study material. While many people think it is so beneficial, I believe that the advantages brought by traditional learning are superior to that of studying at home.  
  
On the one hand, there is no doubt that distance-learning provided a ton of merits to students. When studying on their own at home, students will have a flexible timetable that is arranged based on their personal time to relieve the burden and stress caused by a heavy curriculum at school. Some theoretical subjects such as math, physic, and chemistry can be compatible with online learning due to the diversity of teaching and rich resources on the Internet, which will make the lessons become more interesting. Moreover, the cost of studying at home will also decrease significantly compared to that of attending college or university.  
  
On the other hand, I agree that if they have the chance, students should go to college regardless. School is a society in miniature. If students are limited by achieving knowledge at home, they will not have an opportunity to connect with others and create more close relationships. University promotes students' physical, intellectual and emotional development and helps foster an outlook on the world and life. Besides, facing the computer screen every day can cause harm to physical and psychological issues. Some practical and interactive subjects that need the space to study should be taught at school to obtain the best effect. During the Covid 19 pandemic when we have to keep our distance from the whole world, back to school was a top priority.  
  
In conclusion, whether distance-learning or attending college has caused a heated debate. However, I believe that there are many things that we can achieve only at school but not at home.