dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
## vietnamese studying overseas

  
  
The graph line illustrates how many vietnamese students studied in three different nations over the period of 15 years starting from 2000.  
It is clear that while the number of Vietnamese students increase signifficantly in the US and France. The opposite was true for that in Russia. Also, The figure in the USA was highest during the period.  
  
In 2000, there was an average of nearly 3,5 milions people studied in France, in comparison with 3 milions people in the US and only 1.5 milions people in Russia. Over the next 5 years, The number in the US decrease sharply by 1.5 millions people. In a simillar way, the 2000 - 2005 period witnessed a signifficant decline by 2 millions students in Russia. By the contrast, the figure in the USA increase slightly by over 2 millions people at the same time.  
  
The 2005-2015 period witnessed a considerable growth in number of Vietnamese students in France, Russia and America. To be specific, the number of Vietnamese students in the USA surpassed that in Russia and France became the country with the highest Vietnamese student, approximately 5 milions, compared to 4,5 milions in France and 2,5 milions in Russia in the same period.
Huong, since this is a task 1 essay, I need to see the illustration yo were provided for the writing of the essay. I need to be able to compare your work with the original prompt and the information in the chart. Without it, I cannot continue to advise you regarding the problem points and strong points of your essay. While the presentation of your essay seems complete, I cannot be assured of the accuracy of the statements that you made. So this essay that you wrote is basically useless as a practice essay. All because you did not provide the image for our review. It is impossible to grant you a definitive review unless I can see what I am supposed to be reviewing for you. Sorry about that. Just remember to upload the image with your text the next time you come here for a practice essay test review.
## Technology has changed the way we interact with each other

  
  
**Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology.  
In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?  
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.**  
  
-In just the first few years of the 21th century, we have seen the enormous development of techonogy. This is the time that advances significantly change the way we live, which includes communication. There has been raising disputations about whether technology has affected relationship between people in a positive or negative way. In fact, to be fair, I think that technology does wonders for communicating between people, as long as we know how to use it properly.  
  
-On the one hand, there is a huge number of advantages that we can gain by using technology to interact with people. The most powerful evidence is that, in the past, mail, which used to be the most popular mean of communication, still couldn't access to some remote regions. Nowadays, in contrast, with the help of smartphone and the world wide internet infrastructure, we can keep in touch with anyone we want no matter wherever we are. Moreover, several decades before, mails used to took days at least to be delivered to the receiver. Today, via the internet, the e-mail can be sent instantly to somewhere in the other side of the Earth. Finally, another perk of technology is that it provides us a completely free mean of communication. In other words, it allows people to stay in contact with each other regardless they are rich or poor.  
  
-However, there are also some drawbacks of changing the way we communicate with each other by using technology. It seems that technology does not actually connect people together. Take Facebook for example, it's a well-known social network with over 1 billion users all over the world, most of whom are adolescent. It seems that facebook users spend too much time on this network that they are less likely to hang out together. Facebook and many other social network sites enable us to become friends easily with other people with just a click, however, as a result, prevent us making face to face conversation. The question is, does it actually connect us together not?  
  
-In conclusion, technology has been changing the way we exhange information with each other. There are some positive as well as negative aspects have been discussed. However, I think that the advantages outweigh the bad points, as long as we know how to use technology in an appropriate way.
Mguyan, this is a singular opinion essay. You discussed it as a multiple opinion essay instead. So you did not understand the prompt instructions which means you will get a very low TA score for this essay. You also did not properly represent the thesis statement as a positive or negative result of technology in the modern day relationship discussion. All of these mistakes in the first paragraph of the essay lead to the improper discussion in the succeeding paragraphs. Since you did not appropriately discuss the essay, in the single point of view manner that was required, your somewhat strong discussion became void. When you do not discuss the essay in the way that the topic instruction dictates, you will get a tangential score response, which, depending upon the other elements of your presentation and the score that the remaining 3 sections receive, could result in a barely passing or totally failed test score for you.
**Some ppl argue that higher taxes should be collected from industries causing higher industrial pollution, whereas others argue that there are better ways to deal with it. Discuss both view and give opinion**  
  
## higher taxes in exchange for bigger pollution

  
  
Environment has always been a crucial element to determine a healthy life of a person. Recent cases on the damage of industrial wastes, such as Formosa, have raised a wide flow of anger from the community. Tax-increasing for enterprises and corporations could be a solution. However, some people believe that other methods should be taken to save the habitat as well as to bind industries' responsibility. The essay agrees with the later, while discussing both perspectives.  
  
On one hand, stipulating higher taxes for companies and industries' activities could bring about higher responsibility and liability. Any decisions to be made which have a possibility to influence negatively to the environment must be regarded to a sum of money that the industry has to incur. For example, a number of cigarettes consumers have reduced recently as a result of decreasing tobacco value added tax. Same evidences were shown in the index of people consuming soft drink. Therefore, new tax policy should be commenced in order to remind enterprises' owners' responsibility toward keeping the environment safe and clean.  
  
However, on the other hand, I believe that other solutions are being considered to preserve the nature in industries' surrounding areas, such as reducing taxes on environment- friendly activities in particular time to give courage to entities to act more toward green cities. It is of utmost important that sustainable development requires all economic, social and environment sustainability. Concretely, strengthening national economy along with protecting and maintaining nature factors is a crucial point that any country targets, which was proven and brought into 2030 Agenda of the United States. Needless to say, the government should adjust national tax systems to encourage the investment and nurturing country's economy and to save the nature life at the same time.  
  
In conclusion, this essay supports the idea that other actions can be done besides raising higher taxes for industries causing higher pollution, for instant, to put tax incentive for companies who run their business with environment care.
Anh, your opening statement is not a paraphrase of the original prompt, this means a failing score in the Task Accuracy of the test. You were only supposed to restate the problem and deliver an explanation of the discussion instructions in the opening paraphrase. This is the section where your English comprehension skills are graded and sadly, you failed in this section miserably with your presentation. The proper presentation would have been as follows:  
  
*There is an ongoing debate as to whether industries that cause increased industrial pollution should be charged higher taxes. While some sectors support this suggestion, there are those who oppose it because they believe that there are alternative ways to deal with it. This essay will shed light on the discussion by presenting both points of view after which, my personal opinion regarding the topic will also be presented.*  
  
If you read through your essay, you will also see that you discussed only one point of view and they your personal opinion. Your personal opinion should not have taken the place of the second opinion discussion because your personal opinion is always meant, in this sort of discussion, to be the 3rd paragraph presentation in the body of paragraphs. So the format for the body paragraphs should be:  
  
Body 1: 1st point of view  
Body 2: send point of view  
Body 3: Personal point of view  
Conclusion  
  
You will definitely lose major scoring points in the TA, C&C, and GRA sections of the essay because of your serious mistakes. You may not be able to garner a passing score with this sort of work.
## Electronic mail evaluation

  
  
Using e-mail play an important role in the modern life, there are hundreds of thousands e-mail sent every day. In spite of a number of disadvantages, the advantages of using e-mail outweigh the disadvantages.  
  
The obvious benefit of using e-mail is convenience and quickness, it takes only a few minutes to send letters to someone on trains, buses or even on beds. For example, Mark Zuckerberg (founder of Facebook) has sent the e-mail to his coworker announcing "The facebook" is renamed "Facebook" at lunch time. The convenience may bring some troubles, such as people can be get tens of spam e-mail from marketing online firms.  
  
Another advantage of using e-mail is helping record conversation in business, which can be the evidence in law. Approximately 100,000 annual lawsuits were solved basing on evidence from e-mail. Reversely, e-mail may be attacked by hackers and your business information can be leaked. Currently, email service providers have integrated strong security methods to protect your information, therefore, people do not need to worry about leaking information.  
  
In conclusions, in spite of a number disadvantages, the advantages of using e-mail still surpass the disadvantages. I suggest we should use the prestigious brand of e-mail providers, such as Google, Yahoo.
@quocviet  
I'm afraid you are not allowed to explain the advantages only. The question is essentially "Do the advantages **outweigh** the disadvantages". That is, you have to explain the disadvantages too and then explain why the advantages prevail.  
  
I notice that you used "in spite of" twice. Try to use a substitute (**despite**, etc.) for the phrase to diversify your presentation. And "in conclusion**s**" is wrong. You should have written "in conclusion".
Kavan, your response is inaccurate. This is a comparison of opinion discussion. Since you are being asked to weigh the advantage and disadvantage of the use of email, each paragraph should follow a specific presentation of information:  
  
1. Disadvantage topic  
2.supporting sentence  
3. Advantage topic in relation to the disadvantage  
4. Supporting reason  
5. Example  
  
Each paragraph, based on the method of discussion presented should be strongly represented in 5 sentences. That is to give space for an accurate comparison discussion with a fully developed presentation included. Right now, your essay doesn't really do that. You also quote "100000 lawsuits" in your essay. Where did that figure come from? That was researched information wasn't it? You won't be able to do research at the testing center. Don't fall into any habits while doing your practice tests, such as research from outside sources, that you won't be able to do at the actual test center because you will be unable to function without the facilities you mistakenly got used to using during the practice runs.
## artficial intelligence is coming

  
  
There have been immense advances in technology in each and every field of human lives, especially in education. Over the last decade, the number of people taking online courses and therefore using technology as a tool to enhance their education has increased dramatically. Still, I am convinced that the crucial role of teachers in the classroom can not be eliminated.  
  
Admittedly, modern education gain benefits from the process of applying technology advances in class. There are various intelligent software and huge amount of available information which enable people to grasp knowledge faster and in an easier way. For instance, within clicks, learners are able to approach their favourite subjects online through a wide range of helpful websites like Quizlet and Koofers.  
  
However, the fundamental about teaching and studying remain the same and at the end, the teacher is the one imparting knowledge. Teachers are required in the learning process because they understand thoroughly students' difficulties and help them to solve their problems by explaining, giving extra exercises or even tutoring.  
  
Furthermore, the teacher is one who is emotionally attached to his students. Children are taught not only about theory lessons but respecting others and social skills as well. A recent study of National University has shown that the rate of children's behavior are strongly influenced by teachers' methods doubled that of parents' ways which indicates the substancial contribution of instructors to adolescents'development.  
  
In conclusion, the role of teachers in educational institutions is always vital and it will continue to be in the future because no machine can replace the human interaction.
Hoang, while you wrote a pretty good essay here. I am not going to applaud your work for accuracy or relevance. That is because you failed to present the original prompt for the discussion which was supposed to help me review your essay for the overall scoring requirements, specially in the Task Accuracy portion of the essay. That is why I do not believe that this work can be considered well written nor relevant to the topic. When you fail to give the contributors and the users here the instructions for the essay, you do not allow us to properly help you improve your problem points because we are unable to spot what the problems in your work are. What I can tell you with confidence though, is that all of your paragraph presentations remain little developed in terms of discussion and as such, will not get a full scoring consideration for the C&C section of the scoring. This will definitely limit your ability to be able to get a higher than average, if all, passing score for your work. Remember, post the complete prompt the next time you ask for a review so that you can receive more accurate reviews of your work.
*Dear,  
My exam is coming soon!!!  
please help me to improve my writing.  
is it proper format to write this type of essay.  
it would be best evaluation based on four criteria, pls dont forget to give band score for each criteria which ll help me a lot.  
  
Thanks for your time.*  
  
**Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment?**\  
  
## options for living: an apartment or a house?

  
  
A discussion has been ongoing regarding convenient housing in terms of living facilities. Although a few support to live in houses, another group has preference to apartments. This essay will discuss whether the better accommodation is houses or apartments comparing their advantages and disadvantages.  
  
A house has its own attractions for its inhabitants. It is usually specious, so it is easy to pursue any hobbies such gardening, fishing and among other thing. Also it facilitates homeowner's privacy to a great extend. Thus, it becomes a preferable place not only for pursuing hobbies, but also for getting the level of privacy. Hence, houses are considered as more advantageous than apartments by some.  
  
Apartment living, however; is more cost-effective than house living. Typically, it is a small place relatively, so it requires less energy to cool and heat, which save money of owner. Even its maintenance cost is much cheaper relatively. While it is efficient to maintain, houses' maintenance is cost consuming. Therefore, there is a consideration for apartments as a more convenient place to live.  
  
Furthermore, apartment has better safety system as it invests more money for its security. It has not only trained gourds, but also CCTV cameras to monitor unusual thing. Those fill up the sense of security of its residents. Such systems are hard to find out in a house due to its infrastructure style and low investment for this. Consequently, apartment complex is regarded as a safer than a house.  
  
It is apparent that both accommodations have their own attractions which influence on lifestyle different ways. That is why people are divided in two opinions in this regard.I would opine that advantages of apartment living overweight house's disadvantages.  
  
words:281  
  
thanks again :)
spacious  
any hobby (any + singular)  
houses are considered ~~as~~ to be more advantageous  
  
In conclusion/To conclude, it is apparent ... influence ~~on~~ lifestyle in different ways.  
~~That is~~ That explains why people are divided ~~in~~ into two groups ...  
... apartment living ~~overweight~~ outweigh house's disadvantages.  
  
I think it would be better to have more examples for each argument.
**Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely.  
  
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.**  
  
## the power of information

  
  
Huge amount of information is shared every day in this digital era. Majority of the information can be accessed freely from the internet. However, several information in scientific research, business and academic world are restricted or can be obtained by paying some amount of money. While some people arguing whether the information on those aspect should be shared freely or not, I personally believe that some of the information on scientific study, academic sector and business can be disadvantageous if shared freely.  
  
To begin with, basic academic information that could help students from kindergarten to senior high school should be on internet and can be gathered freely by students. It is not a problem since majority of the basic information in academic aspect is already known for a long time and implemented by human beings. Moreover, information regarding business aspect also beneficial if it is shared to people who are willing to start their own business. Various tips and tricks from experienced business persons on facing business problems could be extremely useful for the newbies.  
  
On the contrary, scientific researches which have been created by researchers in recent years can be disadvantageous if it is shared freely on the internet. After all, the scientific report is the result of researchers' effort that sacrificing their mind, energy and time. Therefore, it is unethical if everyone on the internet can access the information. However, if college students want access the information, they could buy the scientific report, or their universities should pay the cost of the paper. Furthermore, business information such as company's confidential data also should not be opened to public since it can destroy the company.  
  
In conclusion, basic information that already used for centuries by human beings should be opened to help students and new business persons. On the other hand, information that could be detrimental for scientist if shared freely and could destroy a company should not be opened to public.
Topic:  
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?  
Always telling the truth is the most important consideration in any relationship between people. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.  
  
## Honesty is the best policy

  
  
In my opinion, I do believe telling the truth is the first thing if I would like develop a good relationship. I want to share two stories about telling the true.  
  
The first one is about love. Love needs to tell the truth. We could image a scenario, a man met a female who isn't his girlfriend just for business many times in the night. However, he would not tell the true to his girlfriend cause he doesn't want to be asked more. Then one day, his girlfriend finds it by her friend, even the man isn't cheat with her, maybe she can't trust him. The worst thing is that she would misunderstand with him every time when he goes home late even though he is working in the company. If a couple they can't trust each other, they would break up in the end. Therefore, I think trust is the basic fundamental in love relationship. Telling the true always could keep marriage for a long time.  
  
The second one is about working, place. In business and career, telling the true creates the trust between client and companies, employee and employers, including colleagues. Take me for example, one year ago, my boss told me I had a promotion next year, it was a honor also a responsibility. I felt happy and work harder in order to convince that I was a qualified candidate. However, when the candidate list showed up, I found there was not include my name. I felt very upset, my boss treated me! Then, my boss told me the true is I can't reach the requirement of promotion, he also felt upset like me. It doesn't matter for me, because he lied to me at beginning. After that, every time he asked me to do more and said I would gain more rewards, I couldn't believe him. Finally, I left my company because my boss lost his credit.  
  
Honesty is the best policy. Telling the true, which could help us maintain a good relationship and bring more harmonious and peace to the whole personal life.
Jessica, is this a direct response question for the IELTS test? If it is, then you need to make sure that you begin your line of reasoning within the last few sentences of the opening paragraph. You also need to make sure that you fully explain what the original prompt for the discussion is and how you are expected to discuss it.  
  
I would not use vague references to love and the workplace for this essay. Those two are too theoretical in nature when you consider that the discussion would like to hear about relatable examples from you. Since love and the workplace discussions vary per person and experience, that is not really going to help with your discussion. When examples are called for, it is always best to use your personal reference or experience for the examples.  
  
By the way, you can't say "tell the true" or "Telling the true" in the essay because the correct term is "Truth", it is a keyword from the original prompt and should be used frequently throughout your essay.  
  
Additionally, always remember to use the concluding paragraph to properly summarize and wrap up the discussion. Use 3 sentences at least. One poorly developed run on sentence won't help your score.