dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
***The world of work is changing rapidly. Working conditions today are not the same as before and people no longer rely on taking one job for life. Discuss the possible causes for these changes and give your suggestion which can be taken in the future?***  
  
The alteration in the world of job occurs quickly. Nowadays, most people tends to take more than one occupation. The cost of basic necessities being in soaring rates is the reason for this trend and being economical is a solution to be taken.  
  
One of the compelling reasons why such trend occurs is that the amount of money the citizens spend increases. When the price of each product rises, people are forced to issue huge money for meeting their basic necessities, which sometimes does not fit with earnings they get monthly. For instance, a current survey carried out by Chinese Government in 2015 showed that 2000 of citizen admitted trouble to bought refreshment from traditional market due to the high cost so that they can not adequate nutrients.  
  
One of the possible solutions to be taken is life with economical way. This means citizens only buy some goods that they consider important for their lives. Also, adjustment between expenditure and income should be taken into account. For example, Research from California University found that 5,000 of citizens decide to scrimp life such an eat some refreshment at an affordable price. It is noticeable that many people chose to cut their outcome so that can fulfill basic necessities being.  
  
All in all, although the rates of basic necessities have changed, society can be tackled this situation with economical way during a life. I strongly suggest to people do not buy useless things.
***Some people think that online computer game is useful for children, while others claim is bad. What are advantages and disadvantages of online computer game for children?***  
  
The trend of online computer games is becoming common among children and being debated by some societies. Some people assume that it is worthwhile as it can be a fun way to acquire knowledge like foreign languages, whereas the rest of them argue the opposite since it makes its users being addicted.  
  
It is commonly thought that through online computer games, people will obtain new knowledge such as culture and language. Since this sophisticated plays are created mostly by other countries and being globally used, so the creators must be function it as a chance to introduce their country. Moreover, owing to the fact that online games are played repeatedly, it is an affective way, then, since it will unintentionally be trapped in users' mind. In China, a current study presents that there are more than a half (59%) of pupils who understand verbal English and Japanese as they are genuine gamers. Thus, it is simply beneficial to play online computer games since while having fun, people also broaden their horizon.  
  
However, it is not a small number of people who often reported that playing online games bears demerits and the most being complained is that it is addictive. This kind of game is considered to drag too much time because it provides many levels of challenges where it makes gamers' curiosity is gradually increasing and leads them to play it over again. Furthermore, people find online computer games are enjoyable because this happens in cyberspace that makes them can interact to other gamers globally. A conducted survey in Japan 2015 shows that there are 76 parents of 100 total interviewee parents admit that their teenagers mostly have their leisure time in front of their computer screen for hours. It is true then that online computer games offer drawback for users.  
  
To conclude, through online computer games, children have their play time while gain knowledge. Even though it has possibility to make users addictive, but parents control can be counted on.
... debated by some societies ("societies" is too general).  
... assume that it is ~~worthwhile as it can be~~ a fun way to acquire new knowledge ~~like foreign languages~~ , (others) ~~whereas the rest of them~~ argue ~~the opposite, since it makes its users being addicted~~ that it may lead to addiction.  
  
... computer games, people ~~will obtain new knowledge such as~~ can learn about culture and language. Since this sophisticated ~~plays~~ games are often created ~~mostly~~ by other countries and are being globally used, ~~so~~ the creators ~~must be function~~ use it as a ~~chance~~ way to introduce their country.  
  
... games are played repeatedly, it is an ~~affective~~ effective way, then, since it will unintentionally be ... (( I don't understand this sentence))  
  
In China, a ~~current~~ study ~~presents~~ shows that ~~there are~~ more than ~~a~~ half (59%) of pupils (...) and Japanese ~~as~~~~they~~ are ~~genuine~~ gamers. Thus, it is ~~simply~~ beneficial to play (...) since ~~while having fun,~~ people ~~also~~ broaden their horizons, ...  
  
However, i~~t is not a small number of~~ many people who ~~often reported~~ report that playing online games ~~bears demerits and the most being complained is that it~~ is addictive. "  
  
This kind of game is considered to drag too much time because ... ((You should divide this sentence up -- it's long and confusing)  
  
... online computer games ~~are~~ enjoyable because ~~this happens in cyberspace that makes~~ they ~~them can~~ allow them to interact ~~to~~ with other gamers globally. A ~~conducted~~ survey conducted in Japan (...) that their teenagers ~~have their leisure time in front of their computer screen for hours~~ spend hours of their ...  
  
Even though it ~~has possibility to make users addictive~~ may lead to addiction, ~~but~~ parental control can be counted on.  
  
\*\*\*\*You use too many words to lay out your argument. Your essay could be written much more concisely. But, I understand the point you're making, and you use good evidence to back up your points.
**In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong while others consider it as valuable work experience. Discuss both views and give your opinion**  
  
These days, the number of working children has increased significantly in some developing countries. Some people support this phenomenon while others are not in this idea. Although it will show that they are independent children, education should be considered as their main activities.  
  
On the one hand, pupils who start working in their childhood have more experience and relation with others. Becoming independent child can give them pride, because while their fellow still ask money and rely on their parents, they are not. Labor child can fulfill their desire and help economic family. To be considered from poor economy background, several factories harness to pay less to child labor instead that used to be. Moreover, almost them has bad moral attitude caused by adult surround them that can influence such as smoking, drug, violence and another one. Worker child often threatened by the dangerous activities they did at young ages, and it will cause mental problems, so that by limiting this activities government should be considered the policy to handle it.  
  
On the other hand, young ages used to get education due to prepare their future. Every parent and family should look after their children to get as much as possible enough education. If student get better prepare from their childhood they can be able to confront their future and get better job. Education should be given when they were child in order to show them the right path they should take as their future provision. For instance, Singapore is a small country which becomes one of the most powerful countries in business field, because government spent much more money in education to its citizen to study since elementary school until graduate.  
  
For the reasons mentioned above, it seems to me that as an important factor for young age generation, school should be main need of activities.
Hi Giansy,, I have some suggestions for you  
  
... who start working in their childhood have **more experience and relation with others**. this is your main focus that is going to be explained  
**suppporting sentences should point to the main idea above.**  
  
If student get better ~~prepare~~preparation from their childhood they ...  
Education should be given ~~when~~since they were child (...) the right path that they should take as ...  
  
Best regards
**TED Summary : Debunking third-world myths with the best stats you've ever seen**  
  
Hans Rosling, he took on the task to teach global development for undergraduate student. He having spending about 20 years at african institute. Has country the highest children mortality? he put them together for the compare the data, so each of country has twice chance mortality for the others. It is bigger of the different uncertainty of data. When he was compared the result, it has differented that result came from many countries. For the example, he put facilities surroundings, number per children per woman, 1-8 since 1962 in all families from all country. Industrial country have a small country and long life. Although, developing country have large country and short life. The slide show illustrate about the increase over the years. However, we don't look just in the data, we find something unusual that chance in asia which one of the reason from the social or economical chance. Another data came or income from people in the world. A new dimensional from social value. For example, huge development variation in Africa, South Asia but different with Afganistan etc. Finally, we have databases to linking the data, produce animation, liberate and search function.
Hi Andhika,  
  
As I read your essay, let me give you some suggestions.  
  
1. He ~~having spending about~~has spent 20 years at ~~african~~African institute.  
  
2. Has country the highest children mortality? Maybe you can modify this part as "Has the country had the highest rate related children mortality?"  
  
3. he put them together ~~for the~~to compare the data,  
  
4. so each ~~of~~ country has twice chance mortality for the others. --> this is little bit confusing, maybe it will be better if you change the structure of this part.  
  
5. ... compared the result (compare with what? maybe you can explain) , it has....  
  
6. For the example, he put facilities surroundings, number per children per woman... . It will be better if you make the example easy to understand, it will help the readers got your point.  
  
7. developing country ~~have~~has  
  
8. Over all, don't forget to pay attention to the cohesion and flow of each sentence.  
  
It's a nice topic to share. Good luck.
hai dika  
here is my suggestions for you  
hope it helps  
  
Hans Rosling~~, he~~ tookS on the task (...) for undergraduate studentS .  
  
He ~~having~~HAVE BEEN spending about 20 years at ~~african~~African institute.  
  
it has country the highest ...  
  
When he ~~was~~ compared the result, it has ~~differented~~different~~that~~ result came from many countries.  
  
Industrial country ~~have~~has a small country ...  
... country have a large country and short life.  
  
The slide showsthe illustrate about the ...  
  
However, we ~~don~~~~'t~~do not look just in the data,(...) that chance in A sia which one of the reason from the social or ~~economical~~economic chance. Another data came ~~or income~~ from people in the world.  
  
thanks
**In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong while others consider it as valuable work experience. Discuss both views and give your opinion.**  
  
Even though more experience would be gained by children taking a side job, i am more likely to believe that they should not take a part of this trend as they are psychologically not ready.  
  
It is undeniable that children working in a casual work or summer work will get much practical experience. This is because they are involved with several activities they do not get in the school. Besides, children will be more caution to spend their money because they know how difficult to earn the money is. Based on my experience, fresh graduate children deciding to take job feel that they obtain much different experience that they may not get in their school. It means that working can give children experience as provision to work in the future.  
  
On the other hand, it is often said that children working in several companies would have mental disorder. This is because they are not mature enough and ready to face with the hardness of working pressure. For instance, there are some companies complaining about their workers always tending to be unfriendly with customers and sometimes getting problem with the co-workers. In fact, after investigating that these are created by workers who have unbalance emotion. This condition is caused by psychology factor of children who is not ready to work. Personally, It can be accepted that one factor of growth is important step in children.  
  
In conclusion, fresh graduate children join world of work will again more useful experience will not get in school but this condition is not good because mentally they are not ready to work and the condition is often a trigger issue in the work.
Hi My Radja  
Hopefully these suggestions will help your imrove your writing  
  
they know how difficult to earn ~~the~~ money is  
  
fresh graduate children deciding to take (as far as I concern, fresh graduate person is not children anymore, since they have earned a degree or diploma from college or university)  
  
by ~~psychology~~ psychological factor of children (psychology is the study of mind and behavior)  
  
Best Wishes
***More renewable energy sources are harnessed to generate electricity these days. What are disadvantages and advantages of this trend?***  
  
Nowadays, society tends to use an alternative resource such as renewable energy to produce electricity. This trend can save the fossil fuel usage for several years to come, it also requires a huge cost.  
  
In the future, people can keep fossils fuel from extinction. This is due to the fact that society switches to use alternative energy as their main source to produce electricity. For example, a current survey carried out by the Japanese Government in 2013 released that using an alternative resource such a solar panel can push the rate of fossil fuel by 40%. Consequently, energy will be collected by the alternative resource to generate electricity gives a long-term effect on their circumstances.  
  
However, citizen needs a lot of money to build up cutting-edge technology tools to generate electricity from alternative resource. The reason for this the equipment is hard to find out, even include rare items. Besides, only a few person can understand about making this tools. A great example for this is coming from Energy and Mineral Resources Ministry of China released the result of survey in 2014 that showed roughly 10% of people using alternative energy in their atmosphere. Therefore, it is true that only a few people who use alternative resource as main resource in their home.  
  
Overall, this essay explained about benefit and drawback in usage alternative resource. The benefit of this trend is fossil fuels reserves for a longtime later, while for the drawback is the high charge to build up sophisticated tools to produce electricity.
**In some countries it is illegal to smoke in public places, it is only fair that people who wish to smoke have to leave the building. Do you agree or disagree?**  
  
In several countries, smoking in public area is illegal. Therefore, it is suggested that the smokers should leave the building if they want to smoke. This essay would totally agree with such an idea because it will prevent people from suffering serious diseases and keep circumstance healthy.  
  
It is true that smoking in public area would harm people who do not smoke and create several illnesses. Smoking in public area needs policy which can stop this activity. This Policy will make smoker realize that they should not be in the building. Cigarette consists of several chemicals such as nicotine, tare, and cyanide encouraging some several diseases like cancer, respiratory disorders. According to research conducted in Bangalore University in 2009, For example, non-smokers are in smoking area will get more dangerous effect rather than smokers. Therefore, smoking in the public places would endanger people around there.  
  
Smokers who care healthy circumstance will not certainly smoke in public area because they realized that healthy circumstance is more important. This aware is need for people who smoke in order to be able keep the environment of cigarette smoke. This condition explains that smoker should leave the building if they want to smoke in order to their circumstance polluted by smoke and keep healthy. Thus, it will create healthy environment is free of harmful effect of smoking.  
  
To conclude, I'm convinced that smoking is serious problem can cause some diseases like cancer as well as cigarette smoke may contaminate the environment. One of the way can decrease effect of smoking is smokers should leave the building if they want to smoke. I hope that there should be regulation can range this problem from government.
***The world of work is changing rapidly. Working conditions today are not the same as before and people no longer rely on taking one job for life. Discuss the possible causes for these changes and give your suggestion on how people should prepare for work in the future?***  
  
These days, workers are found to get themselves involve in a lot of works. Living cost standard that keeps growing triggers people applying more than one job, hence ministries should ban the rising cost without governments' authorization.  
  
It is needless to say that inflation that is pushing up the cost of living becomes the reason why people tend to have multi jobs. Inhabitants are forced to meet the enormous cost because there is no national standard of goods prices in market, thus sellers arbitrarily determine the price of goods. Data from district 11 have shown that during the first semester of 2015, there are 189 civil servants who finally has an online shop account owing to the fact that basic needs costs such as food and clothing sold in markets change rapidly. It is true then that living cost standard holds main roles in work world.  
  
Nevertheless, this matter would not be worried unless stuffs prices have restricted standard formulated by the country. This completely helps inhabitants to manage their finances hence they do not need to take a second job. International researcher states that compared to the past, Franch and German now live prosperous financially since their country has strict regulation for goods prices. Hence, it is clear that through this policy, household need can be fulfilled by one main job.  
  
Overall, the costs changes in market force societies to apply for other new jobs. Menawhile, if ministry makes a strict rule for goods prices standard, there will be no willing to take more than one job anymore as people's needs can be covered by the income of a job.
**Question:  
  
Some parents think that childcare centers provide the best services for children of pre-school age. Other working parents think that family members such as grandparents will be better cares for their kids. Discuss both views and give your opinion.  
  
Answer:**  
  
It is generally believed that there are many childcare centers giving best service for keeping children. Some parents say it is the advisable place to care their toddler, whereas other working parents argue that relatives will keep their kids more carefully. Even thought pediatric care centers offer the welcoming atmosphere for children, I am more likely to support that children will be safe and comfortable as long as they stay with people who are closely related to them.  
  
Some parents regard that pediatric care centers are the greatest circumstance to take care toddler while they are working. Furthermore this place will facilitate toddler to learn and play together with others children the same age with them which is handled by professional nurse or caretaker and this clinic also gives free consultant about toddler growth once a week. A recent study carried out by university of Indonesia said about 27% toddler being sociable with other kids, 60% toddler more independently, 13% toddler were shy to communicate with other kids than before. Although childcare centers can control children growth today, I believe this place costs expensive fee.  
  
Turning on this essay other workers parents believe with relatives to keep their toddler as long as working time. The reason for this is not only less cost for expense but also children growing up in close circumstance with fully love. For instance, a recent study by UNICEF organization, found children who stayed with relatives about 65% kids more confident to communicate with other children or people outside circumstance and 35% creative to do homework. I firmly agree with those who keep their children by people are closely related to them as it is more safety and guaranteed to observe children growth  
  
All in all, although some working parents said pediatric care centers are the most adorable places for taking care children, others prepare to keep their toddler to their family member. I definitely agree with this since children will be safety and comfortable with relatives
hai ms eve  
here is my suggestions for you  
hope it helps  
  
... children growing up in close ~~circumstance~~relationship with ~~fully~~full of love.  
  
... by UNICEF organization~~,~~do not use comma found children who stayed with relatives about 65% ~~kids~~children(kids is informal word) more confident to ...  
  
... working parents said pediatric (I can find this word in cambridge dictionary ) care centers  
  
I definitely agree with this essay since children will be ...  
  
thanks
HI Miss Eve  
here some suggestions to improve your writing  
  
with other~~s~~ children the same age  
  
... nurse or caretaker and (it is better if you stop here and write besides)  
is handled by professional nurse or caretaker. Besides, pediatric clinic also gives free ~~consultant~~consultation about toddler ... (consultant is someone who gives the consultation)  
  
about 65% kids are more confident to (...) and 35% ofchildren are creative to do homework  
  
children will be safe~~ty~~ and (safety is the state of not being dangerous)  
  
Best Regard
Global warming is one of the biggest threats humans face in the 21st Century and sea levels are continuing to rise at alarming rates  
  
These days, humans confront dangerous sea levels caused by global warming. The inundation of people's homes and industries is one of problems related to this phenomenon and the building of sea barriers or moving to higher areas is the most viable solution.  
  
The most common catastrophe caused by the increasing of sea level is flood. This disaster occurs when sea level is higher than the ground. This will result in more people losing their home and being risk to face harvesting failure. For instance, in 2004 Aceh province of Indonesia has undergone tsunami which million people were displaced and losses incurred reached $10,000,000.  
  
One solution to be taken to overcome the problem is building flood barrier in coastal area and moving to higher place. Dam or floodgates, for example should be constructed in lower locale while shelter must take place in high area, these way can prevent water flow to people's residence, and if it already reach they can move to shelter for surviving. For example, learn from experience, Aceh already changing the order of city to build flood distance in flood prone area and become the second number populated areas in Indonesia.  
  
To conclude, increasing global temperature is the most dangerous climate change that human face, thus flood prevention should be taken and implemented due to save future