dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
The first computer in the world was believed to bring a more modern and convenient life and people could work in less pressure environment. But everything isn't like that yet, computers are unexpectedly replacing people's jobs. What is threatened is that an amount of unemployment can slightly go up and some jobs will be eliminated in the future.  
  
It is obvious that a number of jobs be lost as a direct result of new computer technology. E - teacher program on the computer can make lectures with many kind of subjects such as english, geography, chemistry, math, physics...This program nearly provides necessary information that people just need to contact to a computer for their study without another direct teacher. As a consequence, teacher will be replaced by the computer.  
  
Some jobs in post office also are affected like postman, delivering letters, money or goods. Nowadays, electronic mail system on computer is the best choice for sending letters, messages and the same things because of saving more time and money. Thus, email makes postman on the streets disappeared.  
  
Furthermore, bank tellers are placed by automated bank machine which helps customers to solve their banking problems without contacting bank staff. The ATM as a part of smart computer system is really convenient for anyone who wants to withdraw money in credit card. Today, entering into a bank, customers can see more computers than employees who are hired to operate computers for transaction.  
  
Another job as inspector, collecting tickets on bus or subway can't exist when a automated machine helps to do that task very well. Besides, coming to libraries or cinema theatres, people don't need to find someone to help for their request, just using computer to do anything they need.  
  
All in all, many jobs will be replaced by computers, however; that is not actually positive. I believe that some of unnecessary jobs are lost and lots of new jobs will appear in the future. Technology is created by humans and only human can operate technology so that human workforce is extremely more valuable than technology.
Hi nguyeneze7496. here are my suggestions for you:  
  
... believed to bring a ~~more~~ modern and convenient life and ..  
But everything isn't like as simple as that yet, computers are ...  
~~What is threatened~~the future drawback is that an amount of (...) jobs will be eliminated ~~in the future~~ .  
  
... lectures with many kinds of subjects such as ~~e~~ English, ~~g~~G eography, ~~c~~C hemistry, ~~m~~M ath, and~~p~~P hysics.~~..~~ (*please don't type many points in academic essay* ) This ~~program~~ nearly provides (...) for their study without ~~another~~ the other direct teachers . As a consequence, the teacher will be replaced by the appearance of the computer.  
  
... also are affected like the postman, (...) or goods (*make it compound*).  
... system on the computer is the best choice (...) because of saving ~~more~~ time and money.  
  
... by automated bank machine ~~which helps~~helping customers to solve ...  
The ATM as a part of the smart computer system (...) to withdraw money ~~in credit card~~ .  
  
Another job as an inspector, collecting tickets (...) when an automated machine helps ...  
... libraries or cinema ~~theatres~~theaters , people don't need to ...  
I believe that some of the unnecessary jobs are ...  
  
*suggestions: try to paraphrasing your sentence. because i saw that you used the same words a lot. you can find similar words in thesaurus dictionary. Goodluck and keep spirited!*
This is the first time I write essay so please help me correct it! I need as many as possible (at least 3). Thanks so much for your help!  
  
Now, time of Artificial Intelligence (AI) is coming. Going with the development of information technology, people are producing more and more modern equipment for replacing people doing some works. Although it does not have any skill or experience as human, it still completes everything very good even better than people.  
  
At present, there are many works controlled by computer system. In some companies, the employers want to reduce employees' payment so they invest in some hi-tech equipment for controlling their businesses. For example, it is very convenient for booking goods through internet or buying online so do not need salesclerks for make appointment, receiving customers' requirements and place for distribution. Not only reduce the money for employees' salary, but also save time for customers' purchasing and lessen unwanted mistake.  
  
In addition, in the near future, call agent (telephonist) will be gradually lost because of the replacing automatic answer machine. This replacing will give customers better perception on the way they are served. For example, automatic answer system will be programed with very interested and light voices that satisfy on kinds of customers. While sometimes, telephonists give bad behavior to people calling to the Call center because of overloading of working frequency.  
  
In overall, the replacing of technology in our life reflects the development of humans' science and technology level. In the near future, there is not many position for people working because of reducing workers policy in the company leads to the results of competition between labors in finding jobs. It is very good if we use hi- tech equipment in processing for reducing people strength. But sometimes this makes people gradually become passive and lazy. So we have to make sure that people play the most important role in working.
Hi Huynh Anh. your explanation is good and interesting either. here is my suggestion for you  
  
... (AI) is coming (it will be good if you can give an easy explanation about AI) .  
... replacing people doing some works [If you refer to the activity, it should be uncountable noun] .  
... any skill or experience as the human, it still completes everything ~~very good even~~ better than people.  
  
... reduce employees' payment so they can invest in some hi-tech ...  
... for booking goods through the internet or buying online so they do not need salesclerks for ~~make~~making appointment, receiving customers' requirements and ~~place~~placing for distribution. missing subject here  
  
... for employees' salary~~,~~ but also save time for customers' ~~purchasing~~purchase and lessen unwanted mistake.  
  
... lost because of the ~~replacing~~ automatic answer machine. This ~~replacing~~ will give customers better ...  
... answer system will be ~~programed~~programmed with very interested and light ...  
... to people calling to the ~~C~~c all center because of ...  
  
In overall, the ~~replacing~~replacement of technology in our life ...  
In the near future, there ~~is~~are not many positions for working people ~~working~~ because of reducing (...) company ~~leads~~leading to the results of competition ...  
  
It ~~is~~will be~~very~~ good if we use hi- tech equipment in ...  
  
Goodluck and keep spirited!  
  
*   
*Work or Job?*
The graph above illustrates downward and upward trend concerning value of fuel exports.  
Overall,there were at highest amount in 2005 and reached a peak rocketing by just above 400000 million dollars.  
In the first year in 2000,fuel exports stood at 300000 the total quantity.However,this trend which was followed by another a plunge.Since then,it decreased steadily year by year.It is noticeable that,in 2002 the trend was almost 250000 million dollars.Suddenly,the line went up swiftly by 350000 especially in 2003.Nevertheless,this upward trend surged again after a year,the figure levelled off at a little less than 400000.Apart from this,the following year came with a boom of approximately 450000 million dollars.  
  
To sum up,it could be seen that from 2002 till 2003 the trend was noticeable and increased tremendously.
Hi everyone, I really need some corrections, if it possible, could you please help me? Thanks a lot!  
  
**Based on the previous question, what do you think XX's business will be like in the next ten years? How will you build your career in the process? Please answer both questions and be as specific as possible.**  
  
As the previous answer says, XX's products are changing people's life, XX's physical stores builds a comfortable environment for customers to shop. Although the are a many obstacles such as China's knockoff. I think XX will maintain its attitude, keep exploiting more designs, and open more locations in more countries.  
  
XX's physical stores are one of its feature, meanwhile it is easy to see that more and more retails are focusing on online sales such as Amazon. It is well known that people choose online shopping for many reasons. Some think online shopping saves their time and are more cheaper, they can also view other customers' opinions and compare the similar goods. But physical stores also have advantages, for instance, people can try on clothes and households, there must be more. So I think XX will integrate the advantages of both. For example, though the technology called VR, customers can have an experience of goods at home, they can also stand in the store and see how the furniture and household will be in their house.  
  
Since the advanced technology is making the world change more rapidly, I think that XX will bring more electronic devices that are convenient to use and can refresh people recognition. Many excellent things have refreshed people's recognition, for example the smart phones. their appearances are quiet different from people's imagination. They change people's customs not cater customers needs, so I think XX will keep focusing on creation. Besides, XX has a wide range of products, from households to food. In the foreseeable future, XX may exploit more areas and service. For example, since the aging population is growing, more quality products may be designed to meet their needs. Meanwhile XX's policy is living a simply life, and many people still like to use natural and simply goods. For example many people still like drawing on papers not rather than on the digital tablets. Therefore I believe XX will keep its attitude, as well as bring more innovative products and service.  
  
Also, I think XX will open more locations as many countries have a large market such as India. People in different countries have different taste and preference, so I think XX will absorb various culture and use more methods to display its characteristic for the people there.  
  
Thank you for reading this.
We do not have the previous question, so it may be difficult.  
  
... products are changing people's ~~life~~ lives, XX's physical stores ~~builds~~ build a comfortable ...  
Although the are ~~a~~ many obstacles such as China's knockoff [what is this]~~.~~ , I think XX will maintain its attitude, ~~keep exploiting~~ exploit more designs, and open ~~more~~ locations in more countries.  
  
That's just the first paragraph. Will continue later.
Hi Yunyi, first of all WELCOME to the Essay Forum family, I know that you have been with us for a while,however, this is my first review of your essay and I hope this will improve your revision. Now, first things first, as this is a progressive essay, meaning it has an essay before it, it will help, if you have a background or a couple of sentences in order to create that connection of ideas.  
  
Having said that, I believe the word "knockoff" is fine to use in describing fake goods, however, you can use other synonyms such as imitation or copy, in cases like this, you can always look up and search for the synonyms of the word in order to have a few options in getting your idea and making sure that you have the right word to complete the sentences.  
  
Furthermore, I have a few suggestions for the concluding part of the essay.  
- Also, I think XX will open more stores in different locations, as many countries ~~have~~pose a large market such as India.  
..., so I think XX will ~~absorb~~be able to cater to various culture (...) to display its ~~characteristic~~products to other~~for the~~ people ~~there~~ .  
  
There you have it Yunyi, I hope the above remarks are helpful to your revision.
Hi Yunyi, thanks for your feedback and for appreciating what we do here on EF, well, I changed "have" to "pose" as I believe this is more appropriate to your sentence.  
  
To elaborate this further, "pose a larger market", means that the market is seen as large and with great potential to become a big business. Having said that, this should be a good addition to your essay. Remember, this essay is very futuristic, therefore, the progress and forecast of the business and its potential is very vital to the overall outcome of your writing project.  
  
There you have it Yunyi, I hope this additional insights help in your revision and you know what else will improve your writing capabilities, read whenever you can as this will help you discover words that you haven't encountered before and you can use this in your future writing projects.
When it comes to amusing the people, the government may face with a tough decision- spending tax dollars on arts or sports. Some people contend that we should distribute the funds on arts instead of sports. However, I tend to frown on this assertion. Here are some convincing reasons and specific examples to support my standpoint.  
  
To begin with, the physical condition of the commoners can be improved if the government chooses to spend the funds into sports. Nowadays, many people are suffering from sub-healthy diseases, such as diabetes or high blood-fat. If they can do more exercise, then their health issues can be effectively solved. However, sometimes, there are not enough sport facilities in the cities. If the government can put more funds into sports, then people will have plenty of implement to exercise, and their physical problems can be solved. For example, in my community, people always work out in the nearby gyms after work. And the gym was supported by the local government. Indeed, a considerable number of people benefit from it.  
  
Moreover, the government should encourage the citizens to do sports because such activity can release their pressure. As the social competition is fiercer, the majority of people are suffering from tremendous working pressure. Doing sports is an effective way to release people's pressure. Therefore, the government should spend its fund on sports facilities. The example of Alex, one of my best friends, can perfectly support my point. Alex works in the field of computer programming. He always has to burn the night oil night after night and feels overwhelmed by his work from time to time. Thanks to the generous investment of the government, much sports facilities are available nearby his company, and he can release his pressure after working out.  
  
Admittedly, some dissenters contend that the government should spend the funds on arts. The dominant reason is that people can enhance aesthetic and enrich spiritual world. However, if we can analyze the issue from another perspective, we can perceive such assertion as arbitrary. Indeed, the spiritual richness of the citizens is important, but it cannot outweigh the importance of good physical condition. Moreover, with the wide dissemination of the Internet, people can enjoy great artwork online, and it's an inexpensive and convenient way to appreciate art, but sports have to been done with facilities. So government don't have to distribute its funds on arts.  
  
In a nutshell, the government should spend the funds on sports. The major reason is that people can strengthen their body and release pressure while doing sport.
Hello  
You have a good summary  
I have some corrections  
  
... from sub-healthy diseases, ~~such as~~ which are diabetes ...  
... do more exercise, ~~then their health~~ the health problem ~~issues~~ can be ~~effectively solved~~ solved effectively . However, ~~sometimes,~~ there are ~~not enough~~ less of number ...  
  
If the government can ~~put~~ subsized more funds into sports...  
... in the nearby gyms after **the**work. ~~And~~ the gym was supported by (...) number of people **have** benefit from it.  
  
... to do sports because ~~such~~ activity can release*their pressure*.  
... suffering from tremendous *working pressure*.  
He always has to burn the *night oil* night after night (...) and he can release his *pressure* after working out.  
  
You can change the word with the similar meaning.
Hi Jesse, I would like to start this review by sharing my opinion about the task at hand. I believe, the government needs to make choices that is bound to address a more depressing issue than what they are currently up to, issues like poverty and hunger are just a few of this issues. However, I believe that the government is doing every single step possible in order to address the issues they have at hand and they are trying their best to cover as much issues as possible.  
  
Moving on to your essay, below are my thoughts.  
  
First paragraph  
- When it comes to amusing ~~the~~ people,  
- the government ~~may~~is faced with  
- Some people ~~contend~~contest that we  
- However, I tend to frown ~~on~~at this assertion.  
  
Second paragraph  
- Nowadays, many people are suffering from sub-healthy diseases, - what exactly do you mean by sub-healthy disease?  
  
- such as diabetes or high blood~~-fat~~ .  
- there are not enough sports facilities in the ~~cities~~city .  
- ~~implement~~time to exercise, and their ~~physical~~  
- work out in the nearby gym~~s~~ after work~~. And~~and the gym ~~was~~is supported by  
  
There you have it Jesse, I hope the above remarks are helpful and for future writing reference, mind your sentence construction and make sure that your verbs are in the right forms too.
Topic: **Some people say that tourism has many negative effects on the countries that people travel to.  
How true is this statement? What can tourists do to reduce the harmful effects of tourism on local cultures and environments?**  
  
I think this statement is true because the number of tourists have been increasing and this may cause negative effects on the country that people travel to. The more people travel, the more rubbish are thrown away. Besides, tourism can cause air pollution through exhaust emissions motorcycle engines and boats. Noise from transport and tourists can cause troubles for local residents as well. Moreover, the development of tourism activities lack of control may impact on the soil (erosion, landslides), threatened species of wild fauna and flora. As a result, the environment are becoming worse.  
  
Overall, to solve this problem tourists should be aware of environmental protection. The government should enforce strict laws to prevent bad impact.
HI alvis  
here some suggestions for your writing  
  
he number of tourists ~~have~~has been increasing  
  
the environment ~~are~~is becoming worse.  
  
Overall, it is a kind of question of IELTS writing 2 which you need to write it at least 250 words  
you need to paraphrase it before you answer the question  
divide it in to 4 paragraphs or more, consist of introduction, body 1, body 2, and conclusion. in addition, add the sample in your body  
  
Best wishes
Hi, alvisphantom, here are some suggestions.  
==>... air pollution through exhausting emissions created bymotorcycle and boats engines. Noise of transport and tourists ...  
==>Moreover, the ~~development oftourism activities lack of control~~insufficient supervision of monitoring the tourism activies may impact on the soil (erosion, landslides) and therefore threaten wild species such as fauna and flora. As a result, the environment are becoming worsedestructed .  
  
Good luck.
Hello alvispanthom, I will give you some opinions about your essay.  
  
The first thing is you have to write your essay in 250 words. Keep it up on writting until more than 250 words, so you will get higher score.  
  
For the introduction, you should give a background about this issue. For instance way, you only just repeat the background facts of the question above by using your own words (paraphrase) and give a summary about your think, such as agree or disagree. It will help you solve the problem about reach the limit number of words in an essay.  
  
You have good ideas. You use 'multiple idea' and give some example. It is good and my suggestion may be you should give a conclusion in the last sentences of paragraph.  
  
The other opinion is you should seperated between your disagreements facts in different paragraph.  
  
The last is about conclusion. You have good sentences and give the reader/examiner about your solution, but maybe you should rerwite again about your disagreement state in different words and then give the solution in the last sentences.  
  
Good luck
Hi Nguyen. please find additional suggestions below;  
  
- I ~~think~~believe this statement is true  
- because the number of tourists ~~have~~has been - increasing and this may cause negative effects ~~on~~in - the country ~~that~~where people travel to.  
- through exhaust emissions from motorcycle engines and boats.  
- Noise from ~~transport~~modes of transportation and - ~~tourists~~motorists can cause troubles  
- Moreover, the development of tourism activities, ( don't forget your punctuation marks )  
- lack of control may have an impact on the soil (erosion, landslides),  
- threaten~~ed~~ species of wild fauna and flora.  
- As a result, the environment ~~are~~is becoming worse.  
- Overall, to solve this ~~problem~~issue,  
- strict laws to prevent bad impact to the environment .  
  
There you have it Nguyen, I hope the above remarks are helpful to your revision.  
Just to share, I believe people should have the liberty to travel anywhere they want and whenever they want, however, they have to be responsible, not leave trash or rubbish as you said and love the country they are visiting.
A couple years ago, marine life in Cuba so beautiful. As time goes on, climate change was change everything such as disappearing endangered fish even the size can be minimized. There are so many varieties of fish life in the ocean, but now decrease moreover the color has been vanish because of bleaching process. Besides, the wild animal marine is always hunted by a human for earn much money. Cuba showed underwater jewels with unique diversity especially corals. The government suggests for tourists to protect the environment as it is rarely founded in other places around the world. Consequently, to preserve tourism when the visitors coming to do not disturbs marine life such as do not take any corals for trades and clown fish. On the other hand, the key of success also maintaining number of predators for example crocodiles and sharks to reach a balanced ecosystem.  
  
nationalgeographic
Hallo Ryan31, I will give you my opinions about your article summarize  
  
..., marine life in Cuba **was***(because you give a personal description)* so beautiful. As time goes on, **the** climate change ~~was~~**has**~~change~~ altered everything such as ...  
  
There ~~are~~**were***(because it should be in the past, not in the present)* so many varieties of ...  
... marine is always hunted by ~~a~~ human for earn much money. **However,***(because it has a contrast sentence between line 4 and line 5)*  
... with unique diversity**(,)** especially **the** corals.  
Consequently, to preserve tourism, ~~when~~ the visitors ~~coming to~~~~do not~~**should not or are banned to** disturbs (...) as do not take any corals **and clown fish** for trades ~~and clown fish~~ .  
  
..., the key of success **is** also **keep** maintaining **the** number of predators**(,)** for example crocodiles and sharks**(,)** to reach a balanced ecosystem.