dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
You are discussing your non support of the statement in direct opposition to the discussion instruction provided. You have changed the discussion requirement as you failed to address the original question, which required a direct response.  
  
Question: To what extent do you agree or disagree?  
Response: ...I do not support...  
  
Your TA score will be based on the clear evidence that your response is totally unrelated to the task. Rather than offering an extent response, you offered an opposition, which is not the required discussion response nor format. As such, your TA score will kick off your essay with a handicap score. You will have to try an overcome a failing TA score even as your essay presents several other errors that would further lower your final score due to points deductions.  
  
At this point, I have to point out that writing 251 words, just one word over the minimum will not help your essay. Had your response been proper and correctly formatted, your presentation would not have had a chance to get an increased score because you only wrote the bare minimum word requirement. Next time, provide anywhere from 275-290 words, just to further increase your scoring chances. However, before you write more words, you first have to make sure that you are properly responding to the discussion instructions as provided. That is what you failed to do in this practice test.
***Q. Not enough students around the world choose to study science subjects at university.***  
## What are the reasons for this? What impacts does this issue have on society?

  
  
Amidst an overwhelming array of hundreds of programs in university, it is noticeable that just a small proportion of students would like to pursue a science degree. This essay will highlight the contributing factors as well as the consequences of this trend posed to society in the coming future.  
  
Not like a career-oriented degree, studying science is considered as an interest without a clear end goal. It is undeniable that many graduates with business or engineering-related degree are more capable of securing a job with a competitive salary and a better career development. Graduates from Science School, however, are often struggling to land a job upon graduation. For example, there is only a limited range of jobs with low starting salary for biology students such as research assistant and laboratory assistant. This may affect the willingness of students to choose a subject with a higher competitive edge. Secondly, lack of support to the industry is another reason behind. There is no denying the fact that not enough resources and money have been allocated from the government to the science field in order to support several researches. Consequently, this may trigger many talents to lose interest in joining or staying in the field.  
  
The results of getting not enough scientists are tremendous, not only put our future generation in jeopardy, but also hinder the discovery of several scientific theories. The number of scientists may drop significantly and the new inventions fall correspondingly. It is worth mentioning that the swift development of society requires the assistant of technology, which highlight the importance of presence of scientists. Artificial Intelligence, for instance, is certainly essential to reduce the cost of operation in some social activities.  
  
To put it in a nutshell, I pen down saying that limited resources distribution to science development and money-orientated society are the main causes of this phenomenon, which might lead to a negative result in the society.
Try not to write more than 290 words for the Task 2 essay. Focus on the clarity of each paragraph thought presentation. You do not need to over explain things in the paragraphs. 5 clear sentence explanations will work wonders for your final score. The stronger your topic sentence, the stronger your supporting sentence, the clearer your example, the better your supporting information, the higher your score in the end.  
  
In your reasoning paragraphs, your first reason is clear enough, but your topic sentence for the second reason is incompletely developed. That caused you to under develop the rest of the second reasoning discussion as well. Then, you added a 3rd reason, without even trying to explain it. This paragraph is definitely problematic in presentation and lacking in proper thought development and discussion.  
  
Your repercussions paragraph is just as problematic as your reasoning presentation. You need to really focus on shorter, clearer explanations. Do not just keep writing for the sake of creating a long essay. Even if you write long essays, if the sentences and paragraphs are not clearly threshed out, then your long essay will not help you pass the test.
## "A person spends most of his or her time at the workplace, and life becomes meaningless when there is no job satisfaction."

  
***To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?"***  
  
Nowadays, job satisfaction is one of the most essential elements of individual well-being. It is believed that job fulfillment renders workers a pointless life that they devote a large amount of time to nine to five jobs. However, I personally assert that there are other factors that are of greater concern than job satisfaction.  
  
It is crystal clear that if amusement cannot be found in their workplaces, it is hard for them to get higher promotions. To illustrate, they are likely to put in poor work performance that is not highly recognized by their boss and co-workers. Another reason is that such long-working hours without job fulfillment can wreak havoc on other aims in their lives. That is to say, limitations in social cycles are unavoidable for those who have occupied work schedules. For instance, it is hard to hang out with new friends and have a company with them, which lessens chronic stresses associated with workloads.  
  
Nevertheless, there are several justifications of the opposite viewpoint that I convinced. Firstly, in today's cut-throat labor market where thousand graduates face unemployment annually, they are more concerned about job security helping them to earn enough money to pay for mortgages, bills and everyday living costs for their families or their own because they have to put family responsibility ahead of their personal benefits. Secondly, working in a prosperous working environment can boost your wrongful mindset about the job. For example, some people decide to go on an unsatisfied job because of their successful colleague giving positive incentives to them.  
  
In conclusion, although some people conquer the statement that those who spend all day at work find life useless due to no satisfaction, I personally believe there are some other aims in life forcing them to keep their job.
Your original prompt is incomplete. it does not provide the reason why people would think that life is meaningless without job satisfaction. Since I do not see any proper prompt paraphrase in your opening paragraph, I cannot say that you did a good job at paraphrasing the prompt. You also failed to follow the discussion instruction because, even as you assert an opinion, you do not provide the extent or reasons for your opinion. In fact, a closer review shows that you did not even respond properly to the prompt question.  
  
Question: To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?"  
Response: I personally assert that there are other factors that are of greater concern than job satisfaction.  
  
Based on the error in your discussion slant, your essay will be judged as offering a response totally unrelated to the task provided. This is one of the lowest scores possible in the TA section, which almost assures you of a failing score with this presentation. Why the failing score? Well, your essay also has spelling, cohesiveness and coherence issues, and improper word usage which will all add up to further lower your score.  
  
Next time, make sure you understand the discussion requirements first so that you will not deviate from the prompt as provided. You can review the other essay samples here to help you better understand the topics used and how it should be discussed.
IELTS WRITING TASK 2:  
***Some cities create housing areas by providing taller buildings. Others create housing by building houses on a wider area of land.***  
## What solution is better?

  
  
Some people believe that higher buildings are constructed as houses for residents in some cities while others are of the opinion that housing should be created by expanding area of land. As far as I am concerned, I am in favor of the former point of view.  
  
In term of building mansions, no one can deny the fact that urban dwellers could afford to possess those buildings because of its low price. This is because the lack of new land for housing is increasing severely to dedicate for other more crucial infrastructures such as hospitals, schools, medical centers and so on. Therefore, land and low building's price are much more expensive than those of high-rise buildings lead to many people choose apartments is their best way. Yet, the drawbacks of erecting taller buildings should not be overlooked. Everybody knows that it would be devalued when people have stayed over 10 years then re-sell for others. Skyscrapers which would be run-down a few decades if it is not innovated and re-constructed. Those who lived in apartments after some dozen years have to accept a loss about price as they sell others.  
  
In the light of spreading area for houses, there is no doubt that these houses are sustainable for people who could be their whole life. Many houses less suffer from natural disasters due to their stronger foundation and less heavy load. On the other hand, building houses by widening area also exerts a negative influence on infrastructure. We have every reason to believe that other huge constructions such as hospitals, schools or shopping malls as well as parks and forests are essential as those constructions. The authorities of cities could save a considerable amount of money to allocate on those facilities as well as building more epidemic research centers when pandemic happens  
  
From what has been discussed above, I would say that I have a preference for building taller ones over expanding area because of its benefits.
Your essay is confusing to read from beginning to end. You never really defend your belief that building houses across more land is the best solution to the housing problem. While I can somehow pick out your reasoning in your paragraphs, the clarity of the discussion is lost in the vernacular translation of your response. Never think in your Austroasiatic language and then translate it to your second language, which is English. That is how you create confusion and lack of clarity in your presentation. Always think in English. Force yourself to think in English and write in English. That way, you are able to increase the clarity of your presentation, even if the sentence is not properly structured.  
  
This is not a comparative essay. You were clearly asked, which solution is better. Since you chose the buildings as the opinion you want to defend, then the 2 reasoning paragraphs need to give believable and justifiable reasons for your opinion. I saw that you tried to do that in your essay. However, the improper sentence structures and improper vocabulary usage really took a toll on your presentation and, eventually, your final score.  
  
You even run off to a non-related topic later on, causing a serious prompt deviation, when you discussed building an epidemic research center for pandemic situations. Never add or include information that will not be supported by the original discussion. It creates additional confusion in the presentation.
**Some people think that universities should provide graduates with the knowledge and skills needed in the workplace. Others think that the true function of a university should be to give access to knowledge for its own sake, regardless of whether the course is useful to an employer. What, in your opinion, should be the function of a university?**  
  
There have been various heated debates over whether colleges should focus on educating learners skills related to their desire vocations or solely concentrate on academic intelligence. In my opinion, the ultimate purpose of universities should be to expose students to expertise in the worksite.  
  
Firstly, there is no need for students to waste time learning other subjects irrelevant to their pursuing jobs. Students may feel bored and unfair if they have to take classes which are out of their main major. For example, if one's field is language, why must one study calculation? It is such a time-consuming and exhausting process. Instead of imposing unrelated subjects on the curriculum and make it an endless four-year degree, universities should reduce the academic load and pay more attention to the essential skills for the students' career.  
  
Secondly, providing students with vocational skills is a great way to prepare them well before they enter the workplace. Many employees find it overwhelming at work because school does not teach them anything but pure theoretical knowledge. Others complain that they do not use anything that has been taught at school. In practice, to be distinguished at the workplace demands more than just a certificate of excellence. University should teach students how to be an exceptional diplomatic or how to impress recruiters at the first sight.  
  
In conclusion, the primary function of the university is to supply graduates with necessary knowledge and skills for the workspace. It would save time for students and prepare them better for their pursuing careers.
You are being asked to offer an opinion based on 2 reasoning considerations. There is no debate / argument taking place, only a discussion. Examiners tend to score down students who exaggerate their translation of the original prompt. That is because your English explanation skills are based on the accuracy of your restatement. So, do not offer a debate where there is none provided. Rather, offer 2 separate sentences that deliver on each of the reasons provided. Saying:  
  
*There are opinions that support the idea that tertiary learning institutions should focus its lessons on information and job-know how as these will be required for the future employment of students. However, others believe that the academy should simply allow a student to access academic information irrelevant of its applicability to the learner's future occupation. I believe that the former opinion, in relation to job relevance, is the true function of a college.*  
  
See? 3 sentences. One sentence for each discussion point from the original, clearly restated. After doing that, offering your personal opinion at the end of the paragraph seems more informative and relevant to the essay focus.  
  
Your reasons as good. However, the method by which you chose to portray the connection from one discussion to the next is unimpressive and will not help your GRA score. Rather than using numerical ordinals, you should:  
  
- Use a topic sentence at the start of the paragraph  
- Use a transition sentence at the end of the paragraph going into the next one  
  
By using topic and transition sentences properly, you will be able to clearly show a cohesive presentation between paragraphs and offer a coherent discussion that will connect your two ideas in a related manner, other than simply counting the reasons out.  
  
You need to remember to offer a clear reverse restatement of the previous topics and discussion points within your concluding summary. As of now, you appear to have simply rushed through your concluding paragraph instead of making an effort to provide the required scoring elements in that section.
you listed this piece of writing under Essays but failed to identify if this is for a Task 2 essay, a research essay or what. The topic you have chosen to use for this writing is quite broad. Without the clarity of the type of essay that you are writing, it is really difficult for me to properly assess your work. If this is for a task 2 essay, then you overwrote for a 20 minute task. You cannot write a 572 word paper within 40 minutes, using researched information. Mostly because you won't have internet access at the testing center. If you wrote this for a research paper, then you wrote just enough words, but failed to note several errors that exist in your essay for correction.  
  
As a research paper, you have properly introduced information, but failed to properly develop each discussion point as a sub-section of an overall research presentation. You lack sub-headings to identify the sub-sections of your writing. The almost combined presentation creates confusion for the reader as there is no separation between topics through the use of proper transition paragraphs.  
  
These are the early observations I have of this writing. Like I said, without knowing what type of paper you are trying to present, I can't really go any deeper into the review. I can only do an early critique of your paper based on assumptions created by the errors in your presentation.
## Table: Average distance in miles traveled per person

  
  
**The table below gives information about changes in modes of travel in England between 1985 and 2000. Describe the information in the table and make comparisons where appropriate.  
  
» Write at least 150 words.**  
  
The table depicts the variation in the usage of different means of transport in England in the years 1985 and 2000. The distance travelled by each type is given in miles.  
  
Overall, mostly the number of various means of transport increased over the period. Whereas some of them such as walking, use of bicycle and local bus decreased. Moreover, cars were most popular among the people while taxis were the least favoured.  
  
In the year 1985, the proportion of people who travelled by car was approximately three-fifth of the total. Nevertheless, the distance travelled by taxis averaged 13 miles only. The rest of the modes accounted for distances less than 500 miles.  
  
In 2000, the distance travelled by most of the means of transport increased. With one-third increase in the use of cars and slightly less than three times increase in the use of local distance buses. However, use of some of them such as walking, bicycle and local bus declined. With almost 50% decrease in the distance travelled by local bus.  
  
*
You are assuming that the reader can see the table in front of them. You have to always remember to phrase the sentences referring to images and data in a manner that assumes the reader cannot confirm the information for themselves. Rather than saying; "The table depicts", you can instead say "An image of a 3 column table was provided. The table was comprised of the following information: A,B, and C. The distance traveled... The idea is to help the reader create a mental picture of what you are reporting. It helps create the accuracy of your report and also, allows the reader to create a manual picture if so desired. That adds to the clarity of your report.  
  
When referring to the data, you have to give the baseline information ( three fifths of what total?) Otherwise the reader will be left with more questions than answers. A situation that will convince the examiner that you have not presented an accurate data report and analysis.
***The line graph gives information about the number of Iranian, Greek and Turkish students who enrolled at Sheffield University between 2005 and 2009.***  
  
The line graph depicts the enrolment rate of students from three distinct countries at Sheffield University from 2005 to 2009.  
Overall, the figure for Iranian and Turkish scholars applying to the university saw an upward trend. In contrast, the number of those from Greece experienced an inverse tendency at the same time.  
  
Initially, the figures for Iran and Turkey were relatively the same, with a difference of merely 20 students. More than a year later, the number of enrolling students from Turkey surpassed that of Iran, after which the former experienced a much deeper surge than the latter did. The following years witnessed a steady growth in both figures, in addition to a significant increase of more than 50 in the number of Iranian students in 2008. Consequently, Iran and Turkey hit their peaks at 160 and 120, respectively.  
  
Meanwhile, starting at 180 students, the figure for Greek scholars was exceptionally higher than the rest; however, it then experienced a substantial downward trend by more than a half. After this, one-year stability was witnessed in 2007, followed by a noticeable fall in 2009 to less than a quarter, compared to the initial figure.  
  
*
You have to fully utilize the data from the presentation. That means cite the figures early on in the presentation. Your report is lacking in information because you are just offering comparisons without basis. Your data is questionable as you do not refer to the actual measurements until almost the last part of your presentation. The figures have to be used throughout the essay, from beginning to end. Additionally, your comparisons do not pay any attention to the overlapping information from the middle of 2006 and the start of 2007. These are the most obvious figures in the presentation so I am wondering why you failed to discuss this information in an essay that asks you to make comparisons where relevant. Those overlapping measurements most certainly fall under the important comparison points. Those are the 2 sections that will actually show your analytical ability and help you score better in the C&C section.
***Every year several languages die out. Some people think that this is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages in the world.  
  
##***To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?  
  
Languages are an essential part of any culture. Many of which are extinct and several others are on their way to extinction. Some people do not consider this as a significant loss because it is a common belief among some that it is better to have fewer languages in the world. In my opinion, languages are of a great importance and must be conserved at all costs.  
  
Firstly, language is one of the key elements which bind us to the history and the culture of the world. Through languages, we are able to experience the beauty of a tradition and is one of the factors that represent diversity worldwide. Many ideologies of modern world are based on the mythologies and ancient philosophies, which are derived from various groups from all around the world. Letting these languages die out can deprive us from learning more about our history and our ancestors. For instance, many archaeological surveys still dig out prehistoric artefacts/scriptures with letters and symbols engraved on them. If we fail to keep the earliest languages alive, we might never be able to decode those scriptures. Hence, languages must be conserved.  
  
Secondly, extinction of any language would eventually result in loss of its culture causing every part of the world to be identical which results in reduced number of tourists in some nations. There would be no reason to travel to other places in search of diversity and different cultures. This would also take a toll on the economy of the country. For example, the Balinese are investing in protection of their language and their traditions as Indonesia relies majorly on tourism. If they fail to protect their culture, their economy would be strongly affected.  
  
In conclusion, for economic and historic importance the conservation of the languages is crucial.  
  
Kindly advise an estimate band score along with the corrections. Thank you in advance.