dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
Your prompt rephrasement became incorrect because of the first sentence. It was unnecessary to indicate that since it was not part of the original prompt discussion. You should only mention information that relates to the original prompt. Do not add any information just to spice up your presentation.  
  
I urge you to not use memorized and commonly used English phrases such as "On the bright side". You could simply say, "There are 2 reasons why people paying car taxes could have benefits. Higher taxes means... In addition to that..."  
  
Your advantage reasoning paragraph shows cohesion and coherence in a manner that, though not depicted in perfect English, still shows a connection between the first 2 topics you presented in the paragraph. However, you were not able to build up the third reason. So that would have scored down your essay as more parts would have better developed than other parts of the reasoning paragraph. Try to discuss no more than 2 connected reasons per paragraph to avoid that problem.  
  
Your disadvantage paragraph is not as well developed as your second reasoning paragraph. You did not fully discuss each reason that you presented. Then, there was the 3rd reason which, again, you failed to properly discuss in the paragraph. The lack of development in this paragraph is what will cause the reduction of your TA and final score.  
  
Now, there are several problem points in your presentation. These mostly have to do with vocabulary and word usage. These are additional reasons that will cause greater points deductions in your paper.  
  
Spelling:  
morden - modern  
dimishing - diminishing  
accidnets - accidents  
univveral - universal  
pelple - people  
  
Grammar:  
Word Choice:  
everyday - every day it  
merits - its merits  
  
Singular - Plural  
This finances - these finances  
  
Verb form after helping verb:  
taxes would diminishing - ... would be diminishing  
would falling out - would be falling out  
  
There are even more errors in the essay but I will be rewriting your whole essay if I correct all of the existing errors. You should make sure to practice your sentence development exercises and make yourself more familiar with the English writing rules. There are online free exercises that can help you accomplish that.
Hi guys. This is my first time in this forum. Please help me with my essay. Thanks a million!  
  
Topic:  
***These days, people work in more than one job, and often change career several times during their life.***  
## What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

  
  
Nowadays, there is an enormous job market for labour due to industrialization and specialization. Thus, people have a tendency to involve in many particular fields and develop themselves in different jobs during their lifetime. However, there are both pros and cons to deciding to do this. In this essay, I will discuss some of the reasons why changing job can bring benefits and have its drawback.  
  
Let's begin by looking at the advantages of job variety. One of the main positives of holding two or more jobs is taking an increase in salary. For many, especially young adults, supplementing income not only supply themselves essential needs but also provide them opportunities to achieve their goals. Take the blue-collar workers as an example. Manual work has always been associated with low income which may be the main cause why people seek other jobs and do more jobs at the same period. Moreover, evolving in many positions at the same or different time can help workers broaden their horizons. For the young, taxing and challenging job is more opted rather than cushy or desk job.  
  
Secondly, ideal jobs or dream jobs for a long time can be gained by job hunters. These days, labour are more likely resign from their posts if they find themselves impossible to continue in adverse working conditions or heavy workload, which may link to strong feeling of stress or symptoms of burnout and exhaustion. People tend to look for the companies or factories which obtain job security, high income and cushy tasks. Besides, young generation often prefer companies that bring to them sense of job satisfaction, which may be considered as their incentives and stimuli for their success.  
  
Turning to the other side of the argument, starting career in a new environment is never easy. People are not able to be skilled in all fields, therefore they will become newbies in novel areas. Thus, from unskilled worker, it takes plenty of time to learn and to improve. There is a multitude of barrier that novices have to cope with. If workers do not possess predisposition in new fields, the likelihood of resigning the job again is very high. Moreover, people who always not satisfy with the current job and seek for another ideal may never achieve high-powered job, credibility and respect.  
  
All things considered, there are both positives and negatives to engaging in diverse fields. Personally, I believe the benefits accrued from changing job outweigh any negatives.
You did not write a Task 2 essay, you wrote a research paper. The task 2 essay should never go beyond 250-290 words. 275 words being the most ideal word presentation. While I do applaud your skills in English writing, the point of the essay is to show the examiner your ability to clearly explain yourself using less words. That shows your ability to understand and discuss in English, using an academic manner based on simple English homework requirements. You do not have to aim to write a research paper, you merely have to write a quick response paper.  
  
It is clear that you have a strong knowledge of the English vocabulary. However, this knowledge did not serve you well in the essay because you made several C&C, formality, and punctuation errors in the essay. All of which will work to pull down you score, regardless of your number of words. Additionally, you ended up writing a 5 paragraph essay in a response that uses the standard 4 paragraph presentation. You over discussed, over analyzed, and over presented the topic. You cannot do that  
  
Refer to the rundown of the errors I found in your paper:  
  
Plural word form usage:  
For many, especially young adults, supplementing incomeS not only supply themselves essential needs but also provideS them opportunities ...  
  
Connecting word requirement:  
if workers do not possess A disposition  
  
Use relevant simple vocabulary in simple presentations:  
.. . benefits accrued from... - benefits gained  
  
Comma usage before the word "and":  
For the young, taxing, and challenging...  
job security, high income , and cush tasks  
  
Conciseness:  
... have to cope with - must cope with  
have a tendency to - tend to  
  
Avoid Contractions in formal writing at all times:  
Let's - Let us  
  
Do not use informal word presentations:  
Cushy - comfortable  
  
Proper adverb usage:  
... the job again is very high - extremely high  
  
Since the essay is not asking you present a personal opinion, you should not be presenting one anywhere in the essay. By the way, your concluding paragraph does not summarize the discussion points so expect to lose points for presenting an open ended rather than concluded essay. See? Even though you wrote a very long essay, because it does not meet the requirements for the task, you will still receive sizeable point deductions in the end.
This is my first post on the forum. Kindly help me with this writing  
  
***Prompt: Many people believe that Internet access for children can be dangerous.  
## To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?***  
  
The internet is becoming an inseparable tool in human's lives, especially youngsters. However, besides the effectiveness, a wide range of reports shows that using the internet can cause drawbacks to a child. Although there is criticism related to the negative impacts Internet may bring to children, I personally believe that it also provides benefits when utilized in a proper way.  
  
On the one hand, it is undeniable that the usage of online resources can be detrimental to children, especially the development of both their physical and mental health. Overuse of the internet may lead to the disorders of children since they spend an excessive amount of time surfing the technological devices and neglect other real-life activities, such as playing sports, chitchatting with friends, or studying. Moreover, as they are young and have very few life experiences when they are addicted to the visual worlds, it is easy for them to have a desire to modify what they found on the internet. For instance, a wealth of research has concluded that playing violent games may lead to a sense of violence in children when they grow up. Furthermore, the emergence of risky challenges that are being spread on the internet, such as the blue whale, or the Galindo, can provide examples to demonstrate the disadvantages the internet may bring.  
  
However, the internet may bring positive effects to the cognitive improvement of a child if used with adults' guidance. Recently, the noticeable emergence of online learning has changed the view of parents about the effectiveness of the internet. An example is that during the outbreak of the Covid-19 pandemic, when the majority of students are put in social distancing, online learning a way for students to not only learn but also maintain the communication. Furthermore, if there hadn't been the appearance of the internet, children wouldn't have progressed this fast. Since children can now absorb information from the internet to widen their horizons, they earn the opportunity to learn actively and develop with higher speed.  
  
In conclusion, while it is clear that the negativities of the internet remain, the use of it can be monitored so that its positivities can be thoroughly exploited.  
  
*Please kindly help me with this piece of writing. Many thanks.*
Your response format is incorrect. What you wrote is considered to be a comparative essay based on a benefit and drawback discussion. The proper discussion calls for a measured response to the given question. Therefore, this essay will fail due to your obvious lack of English comprehension skills. You failed to understand the discussion question, which provided the discussion format that was to be presented within a 4 paragraph discussion.  
  
The question: To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?  
Your Response: I personally believe that it also provides benefits when utilized in a proper way.  
  
As you can clearly see, the question requires a yes or no response with a degree of agreement or disagreement such as:  
  
I heavily support/ do not support  
I fully support / do not support  
I imperatively feel that this discussion must be / must not be supported / not supported  
  
The above are but a few of the measured responses that you could use to show you strong support or non support for the discussion topic. You could outline your 2 reasons, without any actual discussion as a part of your question response to help create a discussion outline for the essay.  
  
The response requires that you discuss this essay using 2 reasons that support your point of view. The agree or disagree essays are always single opinion presentations. Unless specified as an A/D or comparison essay in the instruction, always support only one point of view throughout your discussion.  
  
Your concluding paragraph is used as a summary of the discussion. It should not be single sentence presentation. Rather, it should represent the same information as the introduction paraphrase in a new manner, this time adding your reasons for your supported opinion.  
  
Kindly remember that the format for each paragraph should not be more than 250-290 words. I always advise students to write at least 275 words to make sure that if any word deductions are applied, the essay will still fall under the minimum word requirement. That means, you should write no more than 3-5 sentences per paragraph. The most common paragraph format for the task 2 essay is 4 paragraphs, unless you are doing a compare, contrast, and personal opinion presentation which is given a 5 paragraph format.  
  
As such, you have written too many words for this task 2 essay. Write only the right number of words so that you can focus on quality of work, which you are scored upon. You do not gain extra points for writing a longer essay that has several errors in relation to grammar, formality, and spelling errors, of which your essay is guilty of.  
  
For now, I will just point out these general errors to you. I will give you a chance to write a more appropriate response, based on the corrections provided, for a new topic. Do not rewrite the same topic as your account will automatically be suspended if you do so. Apply the information you have learned to a new piece of topic writing instead.
@Holt  
Thanks teacher for your help. I clearly understand that my response didn't answer the question efficiently and this is more like "to what extent do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages" (Am I right? Please clarify if necessary). I'll keep track of it.  
  
I'd like to ask whether I could use a balance standpoint for this kind or not, which means I only partly agree with the statement.  
  
Again, thanks a lot for your help
## Spoken communication is more powerful than written communication. To what extent do you agree?

  
  
The issue of speaking or writing is widely debated , due to the influence of them in conversation.Personally, i advocate this point of view, and i will explain why in this essay  
  
Firstly, we have to consider about the human mind , with expressions and body gestures , the language that we speak become more lively than ever.At some extend , it creates extremely impact on the way we grasp the information . For example, there are a lot of motivators out there speaking in front of thousand of people through their stories , they show manifold of body and face expressions in order to transfer the meaning of their speech more effectively , and highlight the crucial point which will help the listeners able to capture the information for a long-term benefit in a way that writing paper cannot .According a video TED TALK that i have listened recently, the place where many people in the world come and share their stories in different tasks,areas and aspects, a professor who said that speaking have a significant influence ,we can lower or higher our pitch to emphasize ,and if the speaker know how to fully embrace it , the potential is unlimited . Hence it is often considered more versatile.  
  
I do understand the opposing view, which is that in some other terms of communicate, writing could be the better option. For instant , people who lack of interacting , who are more likely to write sentences which can touch readers heart and express the meaning. Moreover , writing can preserve ,unlike speech.Nevertheless, in effect aspect , writing is rarely acquire higher reaction than speaking which make speaking far outweigh writing.  
  
Overall , i believe that speaking is the wiser course for influencers to strive for based on the effect it brings to people.  
  
THANK YOU FOR HELPING ME
Your essay is not a very good first effort because you failed to understand the rudimentary requirements of this type of discussion. You cannot merely say you support a discussion, you need to deliver an emotional response to the question (e.g. I strongly advocate in support of this point of view). You should also have given the 2 reasons why you support the point of view, with the indication that you would be building on the discussion in the later parts of the discussion. By the way, this is not a debate, it is a discussion. Never use inflammatory words such as debated, hotly debated, argued, etc.  
  
You must never refer to any researched reference. I do not care if you frame it as a recently viewed TED Talk. That is still not part of the suggested personal opinion, public knowledge, or personal experience. You should have framed it as a personal point of view, using either a general reference or first person pronoun. You are not allowed to refer to researched information, even if you frame it as something you heard in the past. You are going to score better using the suggested information sources as you will be able to show your proficiency in English grammar usage.  
  
This type of essay uses only 2 supporting discussion paragraphs. You cannot alter your discussion to turn it suddenly into a comparative discussion. That will tell the reviewer that you either did not understand the instructions totally, or you changed your mind mid-writing. That will indicate that you do not have a true and clear opinion, thus failing your TA score. Use a single opinion defense for all agree or disagree, and extent essays.  
  
You concluding paraphrase does not exist. You need to present only 3-5 sentences in every paragraph. The concluding paraphrase should represent a new prompt restatement plus the 2 reasons you provided that support you point of view.  
  
Try to write another essay of the same discussion type but a different topic. Trying to rewrite the same essay might result in an account suspension on your part. So, don't do it. Write a new essay and you will be sure to get a new review from me.
## problems with students behavior AT SCHOOLS

  
  
It true that student behaviour in many countries is getting worse and worse nowadays. There are various reasons why schools have serious issues with pupils acting, but measures can absolutely be taken to address this problem.  
  
Firstly, the educating the children of parents apparently affects the students' behavioural patterns. Many mothers and fathers have neither the time nor skill required to teach their youngsters not to be rude and actively rebel against school regulations. Secondly, inappropriate behaviour of students can be attributed to the social media and video games. A lot of students are behaving aggressively due to the games they often play and the media tools they often use, which show a lot of violence and sadistic scenes. Consequently, fighting with their friends or being discourteous with their teachers is a normal action.  
  
There are some solutions to deal with this issue. I believe that parents should spend more time for the children, be patient and sympathetic to them, and help them to overcome the difficulties in school life. They can also set strict rules and use reasonable punishments in order for them to behave properly and be responsible for their actions. Furthermore, schools should cooperate with the families to guide the students how to use media tools usefully and take part in some extracurricular instead of playing video games.  
  
In conclusion, I believe that all children are born with an innate good nature, which can be easily damaged by their external factors and the wrong education. Therefore, it is necessary to take steps to tackle this problem.
I do not feel that you have written enough words in this essay to truly reflect your English vocabulary, command of grammar, and opinion presentation. You would score better if you wrote a minimum of 275 words instead. That way you will have written enough sentences to reflect your skills in the aforementioned areas, which all relate directly to each scoring rubic for this task.  
  
Your prompt paraphrase is composed of memorized phrases of English words that does not appropriately address the discussion points regarding the causes and solutions to the given problem. Since the words causes and solutions are in plural form, you will need to present a discussion outline that represents 2 connected causes and 2 connected solutions. Each pair of discussion topics must be completely discussed within 2 paragraphs namely; the causes and solutions. This means, the essay will have a 4 paragraph format. Expect deductions for using memorized phrases that incompletely represents the original prompt (there is no clear paraphrase), and the lack of discussion outline as a part of the introduction.  
  
Rather than using a numerical ordinal for your presentation, use topic sentences instead. These counts are nothing but word fillers that do not really help to highlight your writing skills. Simply use a topic sentence at the start of the paragraph, then use a transition sentence midstream to connect it to the next topic. A transitional sentence will help you score better in terms of C&C considerations. It would be better if you could use related topics in this instance. Such as:  
  
Topic 1: Parents to not have time to teach their children manners and conduct  
Topic 2: Parents rely on have a misconception that the school will teach children to behave  
  
The focal point of your discussion are the parent's responsibilities. That is why you used them as your first topic sentence in the paragraph. Therefore, the succeeding discussion points in that paragraph should relate to them. Or, another approach would be, to have you present the paragraph as follows:  
  
Topic 1: Parents failure to teach discipline  
Topic 2: Parents need to teach discipline using modern parenting methods  
  
Either format will work well for the essay. You just need to be sure to stay on point regarding the related topics because the C&C score will weigh heavily on that aspect.  
  
The concluding paragraph has the same problems. You did not restate the problem, nor the discussion instruction. There was no mention of your discussion points, and you did not really present a closing sentence to show the discussion has ended on the expected presentation format.
## I lost my friend

  
  
I lost my best friend, Jane last summer. Last year, on July first, she called me to accompany her. She said that she was suffered from depression and that she wasn't in a stable emotion. I heard her voice which was panic and helpless. However, I said sorry to her that I couldn't accompany her. At that time, I was all thinking about hanging out with my favorite cousin, Rex.  
  
On the second day of July, I heard sad news about Jane. She committed suicide. I wasn't believed in the news. I thought it was just a joke. I immediately called her mom to make sure it wasn't true.  
  
After I made sure that Jane was really passed away. I burst into cries. If I had come to comfort her that day, she wouldn't end her life. If I gave her more care, she might get through her tough times.  
  
This grieved event teaches me to be more sensitive to our friends and families. Sometimes, a small greeting can warm one's heart, too.
I am not allowed by forum policy to rewrite this essay for you to correct the errors in your presentation. Any student who chooses to rewrite the total essay for you will also be suspended for doing so. The most I can do is offer a few correction points, without writing the essay all over again.  
  
she called me to accompany her. - ... spend time with her  
She said that she was ~~suffered~~ from depression - suffering  
I heard ~~her voice which was panic and helpless~~ - panic and helplessness in her voice  
I ~~wasn't believed~~ in the news. - I did not believe...  
  
Unfortunately, these are the only corrections I can give you, without having to rewrite every error filled sentence that you produced in your essay. I strongly urge you to download more sentence building exercises so that you can improve your sentence structures and you can learn more about proper verb usage, adjective placement, and word choices. These will help you improve your writing skills for sure. Do not just focus on writing essays without improving your sentence building skills, you need to work on both simultaneously.