dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
*Many people believe that formal " pen and paper" examinations are not the best method of assessing educational achievement.*  
  
what is your view of examinations?  
  
## Measuring Educational Progress - Pen and Paper Examinations

  
  
Pen and paper examination has been a very convenient method for measuring intelligence and assessing educational achievement in many places, well this cannot always be true and in this essay I will argue this opinion that is not the usual case.  
  
People think that a simple written exam can actually help to assess the educational achievement and can be considered a good tool to measure intelligence by arguing that multi-task exams can actually show these hidden abilities and uncover the weakness points as this conventional method has approved its reliability throughout years. On the other hand, as time develops, system and technology becomes more sophisticated and most of the original ways are useless in dealing with this new era of development, experts now see that we can't count on an old-fashioned ways to test the ultimate abilities of students and to measure their actual qualification using pen and paper testing, ignoring that many of skills cannot just be shown on a simple written exam.  
  
As the quote says "tell me and I'll forget, show me and I might remember, engage me and I'll understand". Therefore "Pen & Paper" assessment method can be considered as more boring and less productive way of development and training technique, while kids and students need to spend more time in camps and labs doing actual researches using "Trial & Error" technique in removing their fears and verify the information they studied and memorized. However, it would be hard to develop such awareness in developing countries and teachers may find it difficult to control young students in dangerous experiments or rely on them as they still kids.  
  
In conclusion, as we grow we need to develop our way in evaluate the outputs of the process of teaching if we want to raise a generation that isn't only trained by pen and paper exams, getting them motivated to be taught and increase the level of challenge every time they pass specific stage, this is how we can raise them stronger.
Maya, as a discussion essay, I believe that this can garner you a score of about 6. That is because your overall discussion shows a clear understanding of the prompt requirements and the various discussions that surround the given topic. While the grammar is not perfect, it allows the reader to understand your message in a somewhat accurate manner. The examples provided are logical and helps to illustrate your grammar accuracy skills. However, there is a problem with your format. The opening statement is too short and the closing statement is just one long sentence. Both must be comprised of at least 3 sentences. So do not use comma's to separate your thoughts, use periods instead. So, even though you wrote 333 words, it did not help because you did not follow the formatting requirements that would have benefited from the increased word count. That said, you still did a pretty good job and could score a bit higher than just passing in this instance, all things considered.
These days studying abroad are becoming commonplace in many country all around over the globe. While I agree that this type of learning brings about a range of benefits, I also have to agree that there are noticeable drawbacks to go to another country for studying.  
  
To begin with, undoubtedly, studying in a foreign country is a golden opportunity. Firstly, living abroad can help broaden students' horizons. In particular, overseas students are, obviously, exposed to different cultures, customs, and especially, languages. These are precious experiences which generously contributing to the growth of a particular person. Moreover, they, people who studying overseas, would become more independent in both psychological and financial perspectives. Thus, these learners seem, in general, more mature than those who do not go abroad for studying.  
  
Conversely, these students, undeniable, have to cope with many difficulties by varying degrees. The first thing to mention here is language barrier. Studying in a foreign language is academically challenging unless there are prior preparations. Hence, most learners tend to choose an English-speaking country rather than others. Moreover, living alone in an unfamiliar culture can cause homesickness, which play a major part in loneliness and inefficient studying.  
  
Overall, the main conclusion to be drawn is that studying overseas create a lot of minus but it is, in my opinion, worth trying. Provided neither your family is impoverished nor you are extremely bad at languages, studying abroad should be on top of your decisions.  
  
please give me some feedback about my writting. thanks :)
A comparison of the figure for students who passed their examination in high school, categorized by subject and gender from 2010 to 2011, a one-year period is shown in the bar chart. Overall, it can be seen that most of the girls have finished computer science, while the boys tend to focus on geography.  
  
With regards to science subjects, female students always experienced the majority of the percentage. The furthest gap between both genders was chemistry, around less than a third of girls passed the exam, but the boys witnessed less than this. However, the highest percentage of girls passing the exam occurred on computer science, which was more than a half, whereas the boys had 42% of them in this subjects. Then, physics and mathematics also were led by girls, nevertheless the differences between both genders were not too significant.  
  
On the other hand, geography was overtaken by the boys. There was a large disparity between boys and girls. While the proportion of the boys noted at less than a third, and the girls just only had a fifth. Additionally, in foreign language subject, both genders experienced the same point, which were more than two fifths.  
  
*
Ani, when you write a chart summary essay, never use fractions to describe the measurements that are given in actual percentage figures in the chart. Writing a summary requires you to deliver accurate figures, based upon the given illustration. Therefore, the essay that you wrote does not fall within the proper format. It tends to deliver unconfirmed "estimates" because of the method of your data presentation. The accurate and acceptable presentation would be to deliver the actual percentages at all times. That removes the "guesstimate" that your essay currently has. There is no need for you to be citing "approximates" in the essay when the bar graphs have the percentage conversions indicated. Always use the provided data in the illustration. Do not make up the figures because that causes an inaccurate and improper essay. It does not properly inform the reader. I know that you were trying to show off your complex sentence abilities and you tried to develop a higher level of discussion. However, the information that you were provided prevents you from doing that. You could have done that in Task 2, but never in Task 1 because you are provided with ample information for your summary presentation. Due to the way that you developed the essay and the problems that it presented, I do not think that you can score higher than a 4 with this version for the reasons I previously mentioned.
Task  
Convenience food will become increasingly prevalent and eventually replace traditional foods and traditional methods of food preparation.  
  
To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?  
  
## Time More Important than Healthy Food?

  
  
Food is one of fundamental needs of human lives. Lately, human revamp traditional food with modern food. While, cultural food once used to be an honor, but now has been replaced with ready to eat meals. I agree that convenience food is preferred to traditional food. However, I also believe that processed food will not be prevalent.  
  
Availability of fast food is preferred by people who life in fast working environment since they don't have much time to prepare their food. Jakarta, capital city Indonesia as an example, workers usually go to their company early in the morning, they have to finish all work within a day, so that they do not have time to make homemade food tend to buy fast food. It's clear that some people choose fast food to cut the time  
  
The convenience food cannot be replaced with other kinds of food because it is the sacred of traditional food. It represents identity of a certain region. For instance, Like in my hometown, the local food is PECEL, although, fast food restaurant available in everywhere, the society still fixed use traditional food as their daily food. Therefore, traditional food are never be erased with quick food.  
  
To conclude, I disagree if convenience food would replace traditional food. Even though it seems like convenience food will completely drag traditional food. However, there are a lot of disadvantages of having convenience food. They are certainly not going to stay for long and would fade away as time goes by. But some people argue that fast food will ease everything, people don't need to waste their time for cook. So, they are able to benefit their time to do the other activities.
Frisilia, with this kind of sloppy sentence development and lack of focus on proper grammar presentation, your essay is going to be prevented from gaining a score higher than a 4. One of the main reasons that your essay cannot get a score higher than that is because you failed to use proper punctuation marks in your essay. The predominance of the comma use, when a period would have been more appropriate, created a wrong format for the essay. You created single, continuous sentences rather than thoughtful single sentences. The lack of periods in the paragraphs caused undue stress for the reader that the examiner will not be able to ignore. Then, there is the improper conclusion where you presented your opinion rather than a closing summary of the discussion. I do not know if your tutor has told you this but, in an academic discussion such as this, you are not allowed, to present a new idea in your conclusion because the opinion you have is expected to be presented in a stand alone paragraph prior to the conclusion. Violating this academic writing rule is one of the major reasons that your essay failed to get a passing grade.
**Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a job. On the other hand, people think that getting experience and developing soft skill is more important.  
  
Discuss both side and give your opinion.**  
  
## High school graduation or experience

  
  
Some of people believe that graduate from high school is the best way to get job in the future. Yet, other believe experience and soft skill is crucial point to get job in the future. This essay will discuss which important completing university education or getting experience and developing soft skill.  
  
Graduate from university has great opportunity for job seekers. It is because most of company nowadays look for employees who has certificate of high school due to they have basic knowledge and skill to hold of position in a company. Therefore, the employers tend to choose job seekers who had finished their high school as their employees. Take my experience as an example, when I was visited job fair almost of company has general requirements that is certificate of high school, as like HRD position. It is because this position will use psychology tools due to he/she have to have basic knowledge and skill to use this tools when they fill this position.  
  
In contrast, have certificate as graduate without experience also has problems. Because world work usually followed unpredictable thing that not mention in book. Hence, experience will help at this situation. Take mechanic as an example, in which some of them not graduate from high school but they learn about machine since they was young. Therefore, they usually face and solve problems from their experience and also when they solve their problems they will increase their ability.  
  
To sum up, have basic knowledge and skill can help employees to adapt with their job but without experience will be obstacle and might slumped their job performance. Therefore, I tend to believe that as employees we must have both of them to get best job future.
Hello, Nisa  
Your introduction is simple and directly to the point. However, it is not error-free. the way you paraphrase the question is still too similar with your writing (the best way to get job), "to get job" even repeated twice there. many words from the question that you did not change or look for the synonyms ones. this will affect your lexical resource marking. remember, to produce a well essay with a high score in vocabulary does not mean you should deliver many uncommon or advanced words, you just need to show that you have a good skill on communicating English via your writing by flexibly use varied vocabulary on delivering your sentence.  
  
This essay will discuss which important completing university education or getting experience and developing soft skill.  
this sentence should be grammatically revise.  
  
overall, your idea is relevant. But, again, you still produce many errors, particularly on the function or meaning of your sentence. consider this:  
  
look for employees who has certificate of high school due to they have basic knowledge and skill to hold of position in a company. Therefore, the employers tend to choose job seekers who had finished their high school as their employees.  
  
**graduated from high school obviously different with university graduate. you need to clearly able to differentiate it. this makes your explanation irrelevant.**  
  
keep improving your writing. break a leg
Nisa, it is very unfortunate that the errors in this essay limits your score to a failing mark of 3 in the overall band. The problems with your essay starts with the way that you inaccurately paraphrased the prompt even as you managed to deliver a mechanical, and almost imitation presentation of the original prompt. It was difficult to read and failed to indicate a proper outline for the discussion that included a reference to your personal opinion as per the prompt instructions.  
  
Throughout the second paragraph, you kept on referring to High School when, I believe that you meant to say college. There is a clear difference between the two as most employers prefer a college graduate over a high school graduate. Always keep a clear head when writing these essays and make sure that you refer back to the original prompt when you are done writing in order to confirm that you actually discussed the requirements properly. Speaking of which, there is a missing paragraph in the essay referring to your personal opinion. It is because of these mistakes that you could not possibly get a passing score for this essay.
## Article recommendation

  
  
In my opinion, Interview Bias is reason why interviews may not get a good job or get a poor evaluation from the interviewers. First of all, I think that all candidates should understand what interview bias is. And, they'd better prepare plans to deal with them. A bias can be an opinion about whether a person is good or bad; of course, it's effect to the interviewer's decisions. Secondly, the author refer to eight biases that can happen during an interview, such as The Halo Effect Bias, The Contrast Bias and Cultural Noise Bias. Through these biases I feel that interviewers base biases on cognitive biases that cause them to evaluate may not be accurate. Also, they can choose wrong candidates versus job requirements. For example, a job applicant make a good impression on the interviewer, but he's weak some skill that job requirements. Finally, I think job candidates can antagonize biases by comprehend the types of biases that occur. Moreover, they should learn how to proceeding throughout an interview. In general, this article is very useful for people who are looking for a job. Also, I recommend this article to students who recently graduated from college or university should read at least one time. Because it's could help them to find a good job.  
  
ps:  
I write my opinion about this article  
link article: aol/article/2010/06/15/interview-bias/19513463/
Thien, the clarity of your opinion is lost due to the manner of your discussion. You failed to make the reader understand that the bias is on the interviewers part and not the interviewee. Though you mentioned some of the biases involved in the article, you weren't really able to explain how the bias affected the applicant and how it can be overcome. As an opinion paper, you need to present reasons why you believe this article is right or wrong. Instead, you just gave a general discussion of the article. An effective opinion essay would have indicated an opinion either in agreement or disagreement with the author and then defended that stance. There is no reflection of that in this paper. The main question your opinion should have discussed is, "Do you agree or disagree with the author and why? Use examples of reasons from the article to defend your stance. " That is the normal function of an opinion essay that should have been represented here. What you wrote is an ineffective overview of the article, with a semblance of an opinion instead.
## Computers, Money and Education

  
  
Computers, robots, or any AI application, these high technologies with high intelligence are using widely in modern life. Some people think this kind of tech can replace human being in certain area, furthermore, replacing some occupations requiring professional skills, like teachers. As for me, I am on the opposite position with this statement.  
  
The first reason is that the ability of teachers is far than teaching knowledge. By sharing the attitudes toward life and their teaching experiences that accumulate by years, the value of a teacher is a model they act to students. Especially for the young generation, which tend to imitate someone they admire. In contrast, Computers are apparently cannot establish any good example to anyone.  
  
The other reason I disagree to let computer eliminate teachers is due to the things students need to learn are more than textbooks. They learn how to cope with other gender; to experience the life in team term; to study how to stress the pressure when encountering frustrates. These situations sound happening in peer, however, the really position leading them to border their horizon is the key role -teachers. Without the instruction of teacher, the things students learn may be misleading or distortion. This is the feature that computers cannot replace-the interaction with others.  
  
The practicalists may argue that the biggest benefit is saving money, since the cost on human hiring must higher than machines. Having say that, I think these people are too utilitarian orientation. It cannot be denied that money is worth considering, but I think education is so important that cannot be measured by money.  
  
To sum up, I suppose that no matter how useful computers could be, teachers are still indispensable for the reasons I proofed.
Arlenliu, it is of utmost importance that you post the exact prompts of your essay alongside your draft so as to avail to us the basis upon which your write-up would be evaluated. It is usually difficult to tell if a prompt has been answered when, in the first place, the prompt was posted. Having said that, I will give a general review of your essay. A common rule for this kind of essay is that the topic question must be paraphrased in your opening statement. Right now, I cannot tell if you properly paraphrased the topic question of your essay or not. The next thing to do (still in the introductory paragraph) is to develop a thesis statement that highlights what you will discuss in the body of your essay with respect to the requirements of the prompt. Then pick each topic highlighted in the opening paragraph and discuss them one after another in separate paragraphs, 2-3 paragraphs are sufficient. After that, conclude your essay in a concise manner. I can tell from your current draft that you understand the requirements of the prompt. However, your English grammar is very poor and it hinders the cohesiveness and coherence of this version of your essay. Kindly get yourself some English grammar materials that will help you to improve in that regard and imbibe constant practice. That way, you will surely improve faster than you can imagine. I must say that your conclusion is typical of what is expected in this kind of essay.
Task  
  
Convenience food will become increasingly prevalent and eventually replace traditional foods and traditional methods of food preparation.  
To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?  
  
## City People Like Fast Food

  
  
Food is fundamental things that always overlooked. Even though the existence of classical food and food preparation method are threatened by convenience food in nowadays, it is also shows the portrait of time is more important rather than health from choosing foods. The writer believes that this notion has own costumer in certain area where it would bring to pro and contra.  
  
The worker in capital city has tendency to choice convenience food in busy hours or in daily routine as their breakfast or lunch which is more efficient while they have to face deadline from their office. Also, it was For instance, in a big city like New York, the employers prefer to buy some of coffee and donuts and wrapped it to their office or delivery order rather than they have to eat and drink it on the spot. They claim that it is more saves their time to do some activities that very important related to their job like deadline in order to in the night they do not have to bring their work at home.  
  
However, in rural and suburban area, traditional food and food preparation method still popular through family time, such as, this time usually used to gather with other family members. Taking Indonesia as an example, most of family will be at home when dinner time after a whole day they spent their time to work for parent and go to school for the children.  
  
To sum up, traditional food cannot be judge that it will be replaced by convenience food since it has already became a convention for family who live far from city. Even though, the differences still appear in a big city, fast-food is first choice for the people.
Heru, your essay failed to answer the prompt as it seems you did not understand the requirements of the essay. In the first instance, you are expected to paraphrase the topic question in your introductory paragraph and develop a thesis statement which agrees or disagrees with the premise depicted in the prompt. The thesis statement gives an overview of what the reader will expect in the 2-3 paragraphs which form the body of the essay. The next line of action is to develop the points that are captured in your thesis statement. Each point is discussed in a separate paragraph accordingly with examples where necessary. Having developed your thesis statement, you are expected to conclude your write-up in a concise manner without further explanations. Your current draft shows that you have a very significant weakness in English Grammar. I suggest you acquire some English Grammar texts and other related materials that will help to enhance your sentence construction and grammatical accuracy. Right now, this essay will not fetch you any score more than a 3.
## I learned a lot!

  
  
Today, the English spoken club is start at afternoon, with the help of senior schoolmates, we learned al ot English spoken skills, though they are far from enough, Expert that, they also teached us some quotes by famous people, such as"East or west, home is the best". We also learn how to make sentences. For example, when we pronounce the "bee". we can make sentences like we are busy as a bee.  
  
In a word, I learned a lot that I have something to do with spoken English and I will remember that if you want to speak good English, you need to repeat, repeat and repeat all the time.