dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
Hellooo, thank you for sending your essay here. Let me discuss your essay. First thing to consider is you need to include the picture of this map. By doing so, I can help you more regarding the coherence and cohesion as well as the task achievement. Since you have no picture attached, I just focus on what I can understand from your essay.  
  
lets start with the introduction:  
I don't think you have problem in paraphrasing the rubric. I say this since I see your first sentence well developed, but the second one has problem with the flow of the sentence since its meaning delivered is unclear.  
  
Details:  
  
Look at the map in more detail,  
you dont need to include this, as many students use this marker in their essay, and to tell you the truth that this has no value at all, so you'd better omit this.  
  
we see  
Simply use a passive form, so you can omit this doer, as it is unnecessary there.  
  
After 10 years, the indigenous communities resettled in the lower river ....  
Almost all sentences are simple. A simple sentence is clear, but IELTS needs you use a wide range of sentence structures. Show them you can use ones.  
  
Hope this helps you,  
  
*Eddy Suaib, an IELTS teacher in Kampung Inggris*
Hi all, it's me again. Grateful for any comments and I'm really not familiar with this topic, how could I perform better if I really encounter some topics that I've never thought of?  
  
====  
  
## Some people choose to eat no meat or fish.

  
***They believe that this is not only better for their own health but also benefits the world as a whole.***  
  
***Discuss this view and give your own opinion.  
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.***  
You should write at least 250 words.  
  
====  
  
There is a worldwide trend of being vegetarians as they claimed that this is beneficial to our health, as well as our mother earth. It is worth to understand the points of views from different stakeholders before turning into vegetarians.  
  
Firstly, recent researches show that eating too much meat, especially red meat, would lead to over-nutrition and thus some common modern diseases, such as diabetes and blood vessel blockage. In this connection, more people advocate of being vegetarians for more balanced diets and nutrition. However, I do not recommend relying on vegetables to get all essential nutrition, for instance, some types of amino acids have to be obtained through meat.  
  
Secondly, some point out that growing plants would be more environmental-friendly than animal agriculture because the animals require feeds and produce different types of greenhouse gases. However, I doubt this concept as both industries are not the major sources of greenhouse gases. Industrial activities should be the major cause of it.  
  
Lastly, balance of consuming variety of food should be the key so as for a sustainable development of the world, and for our better health. When people demand for different types of food, there would be less chance to incline in one single type of crop growing or animal feeding. Take our country's policy as example, our government encourages farm rotating to ensure the farming activities would not exploit all the nutrition in the soil at one time. In such way, it could help sustaining the ecology of nature.  
  
(250 words)
@plforielts  
  
Hi Good Evening, hopefully some of my feedback is helpful for you, feel free to message me anytime and ask for anymore suggestions.  
  
I think that your arguements are well structured but there is a lack of something to state your opinion in the introductory paragraph, For example in the second and third paragraphs, you wrote about the effects of eating too much meat and the contrasts of relying on vegetables, in paragraph two; you mentioned enviromental friendly benefits and etc. I would try and state your arguements in the first paragraph so that the reader has an idea of what your opinion is.  
  
That is just my opinion, and I would reccoment seeking some other source as well, and taking mine with a grain of salt.  
  
Cheers!
@plforielts  
Hi there. I would like to give you some feedbacks about your writing.😁😁  
  
First of all, for IELTS writing task 2, you must write a conclusion in the end of your essay, otherwise, you will not get a good band score if you do not write a conclusion.  
  
Secondly, as you rise a question that if candidates encounter a topic which they have never thought of, I would like to suggest that just write it base on your knowledge and experience. No matter how silly of the reasons or examples, you can just write these ideas down cause on the task, they already indicated that "Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples..." For example, I have encountered a task which asked me why printed media is getting vanish, at that moment I totally did not have any idea of it, so I just wrote down that cause printed media such as newspaper was made by wood and have ink on it, it may cause people to make their finger dirty due to the action of flipping pages and unfriendly to the environment.  
  
It is more important that how you to "expand" your idea and make your idea "logical"rather than thinking a best reason or idea.  
  
Hope my feedback would help.😁😁
Helloo there... let me give you feedback. Overall, you have written a good essay, but some areas need to be improved.  
  
Let's start with the introduction. Here you need a slight improvement on your claim. Instead of stating one idea, " becoming vegetarians, you'd better discuss why some groups agree with the statement of both being healthy and benefitting the whole? Stating your claims exactly upfront makes your essay easy to understand.  
  
Another point to consider is the discussion about growing plant. This issue is less likely to cover the rubric. You'd better omit this and discuss other topic related to the issue.  
  
I am not sure enough that the last paragraph can be categorised as the concluding paragraph. If your essay missed the conclusion, then your score in Task Responses will be deducted.  
  
Hope this helps,  
  
Eddy Suaib, an IELTS teacher in Kampung Inggris Pare
## volunteering in communities for free

  
  
**Prompt: Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extend do you agree or disagree?**  
  
Answer:  
  
Nowadays increasing numbers of high school students engage in volunteer community work. Some hold that high schools should include such work as an obligatory part of curriculum. I agree that community service can enhance students' various skills; however, it should not be a prerequisite for graduation.  
  
Volunteer service in communities can help students develop skills that cannot be learnt from classrooms. Volunteer activities can boost students' interpersonal skills by engaging them with a wide range of community members. When volunteering, teenagers may learn how to communicate effectively with people of varied age groups and social backgrounds. Such skills would be valuable assets to students' future careers.  
  
Compassion is another key quality that would be enhanced from community service. For instance, caregiver volunteers would be more likely to empathize with the elderly and those with physical difficulties. This experience may develop community service providers' compassion, a key attribute in a responsible member of society.  
  
However, unpaid community service should not be mandatory for high school attendees, as the qualities that are expected to develop from community volunteering can also be gained elsewhere. Communication skills, for example, can be improved from paid part-time jobs. Moreover, some paid tasks including event organizing and product promoting can involve more intensive interaction with people than community service. Compassion can arise from volunteering developing countries, not necessarily in students' own community. Students should enjoy the right to choose between community service and various alternatives.  
  
To conclude, volunteering in communities can enrich high school students by enhancing their interpersonal skills and compassion, preparing them to be qualified professionals and responsible citizens. Yet community service should only optional, because various alternatives can achieve similar, if not better, effects.
@TriceLiu  
Hello,  
I would like to share my feedback to your writing.  
  
Firstly, You have a well written essay with well organized structure and well developed points.Just some feedbacks i think would help your writing.  
  
In the prompt, it gives you two options only. Agree or disagree. I suggest only pick, but not both, so that you have a strong sided arguement.  
  
Secondly, I feel that your introduction needs more information about what skills students gain through volunteering, rather than discuss them in the body. So that it gives an overview of what the writing will be discussed about. For examples, ...enhance students interpersonal skills, ability to communicate, and have compassion for others...  
  
Also be mindful of puntuation, sentence clause and tenses in your first line of introduction. For example, Nowadays, there is an increase in numbers of high school students volunteer in the community works...  
  
Above all, you have done a great job in your essay,I hope this feedback can help you in your writing.
## High school curriculum

  
  
Future career plays a crucial role to teenagers. High school curriculum are driven in two series of academic and vocational training modules. This application facilitates students to orientate profession, develop their strengths and interests. Meanwhile, the society will take advantage of bright future human resources.  
  
The academic modules allows students to pursue their interests and develop their strengths. This course helps students focus the intensive theory and practice about the fields they want to achive. For example, those who aim to follow the research, they could put sufficient time and efforts on completing their works. Furthermore, it increases the opportunities for practicing and obtaining necessary knowledge and skills of the study. Another advantage is to lessen the pressure from completing much school work simultaneously. Students are also encouraged to do projects, assignments and groupwork relating to the subjects, which upgrades their skills in work completion and learning autonomy.  
  
Vocational training is also an essential provider for potential human resources in the future. Beside the intelligence in knowledge, the job orientation directs students' efforts on the qualified skills and proper visions for the positions they possibly follow. For example, students' interest in engineering are inclined to get involved in dealing with machines or electrical equipment under the guidance of teachers and experienced staffs. In addition, they are provided with the chances to do internship and short-term training session where discussion and exchange with experts promotes their awareness of the job and professional working environment. This model will lessen the training process for future workers.  
  
In conclusion, the two streams of study at secondary and high schools in various countries is beneficial to the students and our society. Students will benefit from excellence investment and aspiration to nurture the dream jobs available in the labor market.
@hoangrobin  
Hello, welcome to the forum! I hope that my feedback gives you an idea on how to improve your writing.  
  
You can firstly try to avoid being vague when it comes to composing your texts. For instance, the last two sentences of the first paragraph weren't able to successfully relay what their intentions to the writing are. This makes it increasingly difficult to comprehend the texts themselves given the vagueness of language. To help this, try asking yourself to deepen the opinions by not just scratching the very surface level of the writing.  
  
Try to also evade using excessive language that won't necessarily benefit you in the long-run. For instance, the second paragraph's third sentence up until the last portions tended to have repetitive sentences that weren't necessarily giving out a clear idea of what you were trying to explain. Being more concise is critical for you to be able to show the readers that you have grasp and are certain of what you're stating.
## information about coffee and bananas consumption

  
  
**The table below give information about sales of Fairtrade-labelled coffee and bananas in 1998 and 2004 in five European countries.  
  
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.**  
  
The two tables illustrate how much euro to be sold in Fairtrade-labelled coffee and bananas in 1999 and 2004 in UK, Switzerland, Denmark, Belgium and Sweden.  
  
Overall, it is exceedingly obvious that coffee was sold the largest amount in Denmark in the year of 1999 and UK sold the most quantity of coffee in 2004. Meanwhile, bananas were sold the most quantity not only in the year of 1999 but also in 2000 in Switzerland. Furthermore, the consumption of coffee and bananas in most of five European countries was increased from 1999 to 2004. Only Sweden and Denmark had deduction of bananas sales from 1999 to 2004.  
  
Taking a closer look, the largest increase of coffee consumption was in UK, roughly 15 times growth from 1999 to 2004. Meanwhile, the quantity of bananas rose 3 times more in Switzerland from 1999 to 2004 while in Denmark it decreased 3 times from 1999 to 2004.  
  
*
Hellloooo there, let me help you with some feedback. Let's start with the opening paragraph. Here I see that you have no problem dealing with the paraphrased question. You did it well, but a phrase you wrote sounds unclear. Here is: how much euro to be sold. Are you sure of this talking about euro being sold? I dont think so. If you see the whole data, then they talk about the sales of two commodities in different countries.  
  
if you see the overall band descriptor writing task 1, then you are suggested to introduce the overview, showing the main trend and differences of the data. The overview can be put at first or last paragraph. For this essay, I dont see any of them. Let me give you a try: Overall, the UK and Switzerland broke the record to sell more Coffee and Bananas. Although almost sales of two commodities rose, there were no significant improvements on commodities sold.  
  
Hope this helps,  
  
*Eddy Suaib, an IELTS teacher in Kampung Inggris Pare*
## plastic shopping bags and environment

  
  
Nowadays, plastic bags have become something of a symbol for the problem caused by plastic pollution. There are many ways for you van solve the problem caused by plastic bags. Firstly, you should bring your own reusable shopping bags ,produce bags to markets and avoid using single-use plastic bags. Because going shopping or go ing to market are these daily activities of the human, hundreds of millions of plastic bags are used for only packaging and using single-use. This not only causes waste but also causes serious environmental pollution due to the amount of plastic bags emitted non- degradable. Instead of plastic bottles, invest in a water filter and reusable water bottles. You can make a these bags yourself from environmentally friendly materials. Secondly, you should recycle the plastic bags. A new survey shows that recycling a ten of plastic bags saves 11 barrels of oil. You can remove anything such as receipts, stickers, single-use bags or crums inside the big bags and return them to grocery stores to recycle. You can reuse them at home: keeper bag collection bin inyour house such as one big garbage bag. The other important way to reduce the plastic bags for shopping or packaging. It's as simple as adding " no plastic bags, i use my reusable bags". It will be a good habit for each person. In short, there are many simple methods to solve the pollution caused by plastic bags that you can easily apply in life.
@Nguyenvananh  
Hi there. I would like to give you some feedbacks about your writing.😁😁  
  
First of all, I want to advise that you should put your sentences into paragraph instead of put them all together. It might cause readers not easy to read and feel messy about your writing.  
  
Secondly, Commas, fullstops and capital letters are misused throughout and punctuation is faulty.  
  
Third, lack of linking words. There are so many sentences can be linked by linking words. However, you just wrote it one by one.  
  
Last but not least, your conclusion is too general. You should at least restate 2 points to support your ideas.  
  
Hope my feedbacks would help.😁😁
***Many people believe that it is important to always tell the truth.  
## In your opinion, is it ever acceptable to tell a lie?

  
  
Explain your answer giving reasons and specific examples.***  
  
My answer:  
" It is true that telling the truth is always essential. Although it can be argued that telling a lie is sometimes allowed in some cases, I believe that it is better to be honest at any time.  
  
On the one hand, some people think that they are able to tell lies in some particular circumstances . In order to protect their children, their family, their friends and people around them from the bad news, people tend to tell lies. This will help to ensure people's emotion as long as the mental and physical status. For example, A family in which parents divorce, their children may feel shock and depressed. The adults try to prevent to let them know about that news until their children grow up.  
  
On the other hand, I would agree with those who believe that people should be always necessary to tell the truth since honesty is the basic thing in this developing society. If all people in this world are liar, of course the life will become more and more difficult. Without the belief between people, we can't endure any relationships. For example, when you count on your best friend, you honestly share everything with her but when you realize that she's not actually tell you the truth because of some purposes, you will become angry and your friendship will be broken.  
  
In conclusion, it seems to me that an ideal world will be created by honest people, we should always try our best to tell the truth."  
  
Hope to receive your feedback.  
Thanks a lot ^^
@thanhtu98  
Hi there. I would like to give you some feedbacks about your writing.😁😁  
  
As I can see your introduction, it might not meet the IELTS task 2 writing structure. Introduction of IELTS writing task 2 should include 3 parts which are general statement, rephrase viewpoint and state your specific question. From your introduction I only can see that you stated your opinion without rest of 2 parts.  
  
And your conclusion is too general. You should at least restate 2 reasons to support your opinion instead of just telling people we should try our best to tell a truth.  
  
Hope my feedback would help.😁😁
## The Problem with Longevity

  
  
***In the future, it may be scientifically possible to live for 150 years. This could good for individuals but it may have negative consequences for society.  
  
What are the benefits and risks of people living to 150 ?***  
  
Nowadays, the issue about whether people could live until 150 years old or not is definitely a controversial topic. Some people believe that this could be perfect for them. However, some people feel that it may cause repercussions for society. The following essay will illustrate the advantages and drawbacks of people living beyond 100 years old.  
  
The first benefit of living longer is that people enable to enjoy their life more. A research showed that 68% of people before dying wish to obtain more time to achieve their life goal or spend more time with their families. Second benefit of it is that people may see the change of the world. For example, when people were 80 years old, a robot may not be invented yet. Nevertheless, if he or she could live until age of 50, they might directly see a real robot stand in front of them instead of dying in 80 years old and even can not have a glance of it.  
  
While some people acclaim numerous pros of living longer, some vital cons are playing significant roles which can not be ignored. Elderly allowance is one of the impact factors. If everyone could live such a long age, the government absolutely will face the financial problem which needs to require heavier tax from citizens to pay for elderly than before. Moreover, more elderly means they need more medical assistance, it might cause a person in need of medical assistance which can not obtain it in a timely manner.  
  
In summary, living until 150 years old may be a good accomplishment for human beings. However, it still has many challenges which need to conquer in the future. Not only the financial concerns but also the medical affections.
@roswita116  
  
Hello,  
  
I would like to share my feedback on your writing.  
  
Firstly you have good ideas and support with examples and facts.  
  
However, i do not feel that you have answered the question completely and correctly.  
  
Firstly, the question has two parts. The benefits and Risks of people over 150 years old.  
  
My concern is only in the risks involve.  
  
In your second arguments you should mention what are the risks involve related to people more than 150 years old. For example, the longer people live, there is a higher risks of developing more disease or health related issues..etc..  
  
I suggest omit points such as, elderly allowance and Medical assistance because it does not reflect the risks but only shows causes and impacts, which is not relevent to the given topic.  
  
I am sure you can think of somthings that may pose as risk to people living longer..  
  
I suggest for every benefits you choose there is always risks involve. Try complements these and conclude your writing in a well organised manner.  
  
I hope these feedback helps you in your writing.
## colours variety and our life

  
  
**Psychologists have known for many years that colour affects how people feel. For this reason, attention should be given to colour schemes when decorating places such as offices or hospitals. How true is this statement? How far colour influence people' health and capacity for work?**  
  
Over the past decade, colour design in architecture has rarely failed to draw public attention and promote debates. Some assert that colouring is simply a tiny portion in designing whilst others hold the view that it is undoubtedly of essence in human' health and productivity. In this essay, the analysis of this issue with te physical and psychological effects of colour will be discussed.  
  
To begin with, it is an indisputable and undeniable fact that many large buildings namely hospitals, schools, offices usually have been colouredin some specific tones. As an illustration, it is abnormal to see the universities or working offices in grey or black since these colours are considered as symbols of misery and darkness. Conversely, most of these buildings take advantage of red, blue, yellow or white. Ila, an educational institution, for example, utilizes blue and white to keep the children greatly focused on the lessons.  
  
Secondly, in terms of the colour's impacts on human, we could witness blue and red as examples. Blue is known as the colour of hope owing to its convinient and comfortable feeling it provides. Apparently, hopitals use it to support and encourage their patients in the promising life. Sveral educational centers and companies apply red as thier main concept. The reason for this is red possibly inspires us activeness and positiveness. Not only is it a proud and smart man of conveying the organization's motto, but it also an incentive to power up the staffs.  
  
All things considered, under no circumstances should we be ignorant of the importance of colour in our daily life. Likewise, before designing from a tiny objects to a magnificient structure, approriate meaningful colour alternative is highly likely to be an integral step.