dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
The animals are becoming extinct due to human activities on land and in the sea.  
What are the reasons and Solutions  
Answer:  
It is undeniable fact that many species of animals are in danger of extinction due to human activities not only on land but also in the sea. The increasing numbers of illegal hunters and the accumulation of plastic waste in the ocean are the main reasons this issue occurs. Implementing a licensing system to hunt animals and changing plastic in the packaging of the product could be feasible solutions to reduce the problems.  
  
One of human activity which threatens many endangered animals is a hunting activity which the number of people who are interested in becoming more and more. An act of hunting wild animals is recognized as a hobby for wealthy people because it is a costly hobby. It can be seen in 1995 that many wealthy people become hunters to show-off their wealth to the society around them. Another major issue with similar implications is using plastic in many products. As a result, the plastic which difficult to recycle is dumped into the ocean and destroy the homes of millions of aquatic creatures migrate to another place in order to seek refuge, such as turtles which are considered an endangered species.  
  
Licensing in hunting animals should be developed to control all hunters in their poaching activity. This regulation can protect endangered animals from the threat of extinction. For instance, people should have a license for hunting animals before getting into the forest. This system was successful to decrease animal mortality rates by 20% in the Amazon forest. In addition, switch plastic packaging to environmentally friendly materials should be implemented by corporations who use the plastic material for their product covers, so the ocean may not burden garbage anymore.  
  
In conclusion, to hold back the number of hunters, the government should build a licensed system as well as replacing plastic use with environmentally friendly materials in order to avoid widespread damages in the sea.
... are in ~~danger of~~ extinction due to... **Moreover, it is** not only on land, ...  
... main reasons **of** this issue ~~occurs~~. ... the plastic ~~in~~**for** the packaging ~~of the product~~ could be ...  
  
... animals is ~~a~~ hunting. ~~activity~~ **Today,** **the** number of ... ~~An act of~~  **Hunting** wild animals ... it is ~~a~~ ~~costly~~ ~~hobby~~ prestige. ... people ~~become~~ **became** hunters to show~~-off~~ their wealth to ...  
  
... creatures ~~migrate to... refuge~~, such as turtles ...  
  
... should be ~~developed~~ **legalized** to control ~~all~~  the ...  
This system ~~was~~ **will be** successful decrease**d** animal ... forest **(close to 20%)**. In addition, switch **the** plastic packaging **which is** environmentally ... the plastic ~~material~~ for their ...  
  
... government should ~~build~~  **arrange** a ...  
  
Notes :  
- good ideas, but please pay attention with the sentence (some word are missing)  
- please add more your vocabulary to avoid the repetition  
- try to use conjungtion, however, it should be on point  
- be careful with complex sentences  
  
Good luck!
Al, you cannot write such a research heavy essay for a Task 2 topic. There is not going to be any internet connection at the testing center. You are also taking a pen and paper test. Both of which eliminate the possibility of you being able use references for your opinion essay. You must always use your personal opinion and knowledge for the discussions. While this essay is impressive in terms of data, this is not an essay that you will be able to write during an actual test. Therefore, I cannot say that you would be able to write an essay that can pass the test. Not when you use data and information that obviously come from research sources.  
  
You are not going to be graded in the accuracy of your data. You are being graded on your ability to explain your personal opinion in English, within 3-5 sentences. You will get a good grade even if you use only basic information as you know it for writing the essay. Don't make up information though. Just discuss as you would using the limited knowledge that you have. It is the English language use that is graded heavily. The clarity and coherence of your discussion is more important than the research information you can provide. Any information you provide for the essay will score better if the examiner can clearly see that it comes from your understanding of the topic.  
  
I am not saying you wrote a bad essay, I am saying that you wrote the essay in the wrong manner. I will withhold advice regarding content and grammar problems until your next essay, which I hope will be based on your personal knowledge instead of researched information. That is because I want to make sure that you get useful advice regarding how to improve your work. Since you did not really follow the writing instructions this time, I should give you another chance to prove your writing skills in the proper manner.
***Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongest all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks.*  
  
## Do you think that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?**  
  
It is true that social media has revolutionized the way in which people communicate with each other, and it has affected people at different ages from children to the elderly. While I accept that sharing private information on the social platform might have dangerous effects. I believe that social media is more likely to be beneficial.  
  
On the one hand, social media can be seen as negative for both security and psychological reasons. From a security perspective, social media has made people more likely to be exposed to cyber fraud. Information such as Email address, phone number and home address that the user puts on his profile are visible for everyone; therefore, criminals can use this information to pose as that user in order to commit crimes or to steal user's bank account for example. On a psychological level, social media considered to be addictive and productivity killer. That people today spend most of their time surfing social application, chatting with friends and watching video clips all of which are useless activates that have no beneficial outcome on one's life.  
  
However, I would argue that these drawbacks are outweighed by the benefits. Social media can have made it easier for people to find job opportunities. In social platforms such as Linkedin, people who are seeking new job share their qualification and experience, that way employers who looking for employees can easily find them using the web site system. In addition, social media also has facilitated the way in which people looking for a life partner. Every day, there are thousands of successful relationships created between couples who want to marry who are met on social media that otherwise they would never be met.  
  
In conclusion, it seems to me that the potential benefits of social media are more significant than the possible risks.
Mohammed, please read up on the use of subject sentences in Task 2 presentations. Try to avoid using memorized opening phrases like "on the one/other hand" because those are used as a teaching tool, but the student should have shown a progression from that tutoring tool used in class by the time the exam itself comes around. Using topic sentences will be better for your GRA than the memorized tutorial phrases.  
  
Watch out for your errors in capitalization and punctuation which can lower your GRA score. In the opening paraphrase, you said that you accept the dangerous effect then ended the sentence with a period. The correct punctuation mark would have been a comma to connect the two different topics in one sentence presentation. You also capitalized the word email in the second paragraph when that should have been written in lower case.  
  
Your second paragraph leaves the psychological explanation under developed in terms of discussion and explanation. That is because a majority of the 5 sentence paragraph was used for the security explanation. When you want to use 2 topics for one paragraph, balance it out by using only 2 sentences each for the actual topic, then using a mid-sentence transition to relate the two discussion points before discussing the new topic.  
  
The concluding summary is incomplete. It lacks a proper summation of the discussion topic and discussion points before the presentation of your opinion as the closing statement of the essay.
## people lack doing exercises

  
  
I have been practiced IELTS writing task 2 for a month. help me correct this essay bellow.  
  
Topic  
*As a result of electronic inventions such as the computer and television, people do less physical activity, and this is having a negative effect on their health.  
  
To what extent do you agree or disagree?*  
  
Answer  
The inventions of many electronic devices such as the computer and television make people lack doing exercises resulting in their health. While some people agree with the idea that this development has affected people's health, I do believe that technology devices could bring more benefits to people.  
  
On the one hand, overusing technology devices such as computer and television might affect human's health. As a consequence of using these gizmos too much, dozens of children probably have a problem with their eyes because of spending a considerable amount of time in front of the computer or television. They can also have an issue with their spine when getting older. Moreover, people maybe suffer from obesity due to enjoying snack and other fast food while working with computer in a very long time.  
  
On the other hand, technology advances have several benefits which could help people's lives more conveniently. Firstly, the presence of a variety of devices is really useful in food technology. For example, with the support of the modern electronic devices, food analysts can examine whether the food is high quality enough to be imported into their country in order to protect their people's health. Secondly, people have the expectation to live longer due to the assistance of electronic gizmos in medical care. Finally, the appearance of fitness equipment has profound effects on people's health, they can do exercise in the gym with the support of the tools, and this way can help them keep fit.  
  
In conclusion, my view is that the advancement of technology devices has created various advantages to make human life more comfortable, others think that it has a small scale impact on their health, though.
This is a measurement based opinion essay. As such, the prompt clearly requires you to use only one point of view for the whole essay discussion. That means discussing only one opinion, based on 2 supporting reasons throughout the essay. The format will be:  
  
Par. 1 - Paraphrase and extent response  
Par. 2 - Supporting reason 1  
Par. 3 - Supporting reason 2  
Par. 4 - Concluding summary  
  
The approach you took to discussing the essay does not properly respond to the prompt. You created a prompt deviation, in your response within the paraphrase section that totally altered the discussion format and requirements:  
  
*Original Question: to what extent do you agree or disagree?  
Incorrect Response (Yours) : I do believe that technology devices could bring more benefits to people.  
Correct Response: I partially disagree with the given statement for two reasons.*  
  
This is not a belief essay. This is an agree/disagree essay. You are being asked to support or not support a given argument. Since you are discussing your beliefs, you are not responding to the task accurately, That would lead to a TA score of 1, since your response is completely unrelated to the task. Once you fail the TA section, it is impossible to get a passing score based on the remaining requirements.
*IELTS Letter - You are applying for a job and need a letter of reference.*  
## Write a letter to your teacher.

  
*In your letter give details of the job, explain why it is important to you, suggest what information your teacher could put in the reference.*  
  
Hope you are doing good. It is a been a while, I wrote to you. I am writing this letter requesting you to provide me with a reference letter to apply for the job.  
  
I am applying for a Technology Engineer position at PS Private Limited which is a start-up company that develops and designs chat-bots and future artificial intelligence products.  
  
Since I am at the entry level of my career, a startup will help me in the growth of my skills. This position will have an excellent learning curve that can shape up my career also provide me with the basic fundamental programming techniques that can be a strong base for the future.  
  
I require a letter of reference with the brief description of my project along with the duration. Also, mention the duties and responsibilities performed in this project further you can also suggest some positive traits emphasising that I am a good fit for this position.  
  
Thank you in advance and looking forward to your response.
Hi！  
My suggestion is that maybe you can use "please"s in the letter to make yourself sound more polite. For example: "please mention the duties and responsibilities performed....". Besides, do you need to write things like "Dear Mr./Mrs" in the beginning and your own name at the end? I haven't taken IELTS, but I think in normal situations they are required. Also, I think it's better to mention some interactions that you have had with the teacher that you are writing to. Say you like his/her courses, and have learned a lot from these courses and you can also mention that I believe you are the best person who can write this reference letter for me because xxxx.
Swetha, when writing to your teacher, you must remember to show respect for the position of the educator at all times. You must also thank the teacher for the time that was spent teaching you a particular subject. Explain to the teacher why you chose him or her to write the letter of recommendation. The explanation should include any relevant reference to why the job is important to you. A reminder of how you performed in the teacher's class will be of benefit in refreshing the memory of the educator and add to the details that might be included in the recommendation letter.  
  
Your current letter is rudely formatted. It is disrespectful of the teacher and does not explain how the recommendation letter will be helpful in a manner that implores the help of your teacher. This letter comes across as a demand letter that does not consider the position of respect, nor show respect to the educator. Your letter makes it sound like the teacher owes you this recommendation letter for no reason.  
  
Request for an audience with the teacher before the letter is written so as to thresh out the details of the letter. Most importantly, format the letter as one of a formal letter, this is not a lengthy text message or facebook message. Format it accordingly, based on the position of authority of the person you are writing to.
**## Individuals can do nothing to improve the environment

;  
*only governments and large companies can make a difference. To what extent do you agree or disagree?***  
  
It is argued that governance and big companies may be permitted to upgrade the environment, manufacturing some differences for better living, while people are not allowed. From my perspective, I disagree with this statement because human can attempt several activities to protect the atmosphere correspondingly, such as planting the greenery crops, reducing the consuming of plastic, and diminishing the electricity consumption.  
  
These days, the earth where is inhabited by humans become super heated rather than yesterday. Following this, cropping plants may offer benefits for human and nature. Beside producing clear air for human respiration, planting activity supports in declining the atmosphere's temperature, therefore, it will come lower.  
  
Indonesian media has reported that lots of plastic found in the bodies of dead marine. It can be concluded, the plastic consuming is constantly high, as equal as the bad behavior of littering in individuals life. In consequence, people mus try to avoid using plastics, replacing with materials which are reusable and easy to degradable.  
  
In addition, nowadays, people cannot life without without electricity. However, the utilization of electricity must be concerned because it excessive because the energy requirements from the earth will increase, and the effect of global warming is accurately felt.  
  
In conclusion, I believe that many works can be applicated by people in order to prevent the environment, namely planting green plants that produce oxygen for human breathing and decrease ambient temperature, deciding to use another materials which is environment friendly, and limiting the electricity use to stop the bad impact of global warming.
... because the human ... reducing the ~~consuming~~ plastic consumption, and ...  
  
... the bodies of a dead marine. ... littering in an individual's life. Consequently, people must try to ...  
  
..., people cannot ~~life~~ live without ~~without~~ electricity. ... be concerned ~~because it excessive~~ because the ...  
  
... works can be ~~applicated~~ applied by ... to ~~prevent~~ protect the environment,... to use ~~another~~ other materials which is environmently friendly,...
## rules regarding noise limit

  
  
*Some people think that there should be some strict controls about noise. Others think that they could just make as much as noise as they want. Discuss both views and give your opinion.*  
  
Some people suggest that it is necessary to promulgate some laws to restrict noise. While others think that they have a right to make as much noise as they wish. I would argue that making noise is not a good thing to do.  
  
On the one hand, there are some reasons why some people like to make noise. Firstly, although they know that making noise may affect others but some people find it hard to maintain isolation, they tend to enjoy the feeling of more freedom and more comfortable if they talk and turn the volume louder. Secondly, with the development of industrialization and modernization process, traffic noise and engine noise are considered inevitable. People seem to get used to the sound of noise as a part of life. As a result, creating noise has become a habit in people's blood.  
  
On the other hand, I believe that it is more detrimental if we don't control noise as soon as possible. The first reason is that noise causes a negative impact on people's mental as well as physical. For example, some people just only concentrate on doing something if the background is quiet and silent if they continue to hear noises as a consequence their productivity of work will be diminished or even create harmful for their health such as a headache or sleepless.  
  
In conclusion, I think that we could limit noise if each person conscious of these problems that noise could have brought to our lives, although there are some contrastive opinions that everyone can be allowed freely to make noise.
Doung, you turned this into a personal response essay by the way that you structured your opening paraphrase. You were supposed to indicate that the instructions require you to base your personal opinion on an understanding of the discussion regarding the two points of view. The instruction does not instruct you to discuss only your point of view for both discussion points. When you see a reference to "Some people" and "others", these refer to a public opinion presentation and should be framed / discussed with such references being made in your instruction paraphrase and reasoning paragraphs. In this case, you need to explain why the 2 public opinions exist and then make a supporting statement for one of the two sides provided for the discussion.  
  
Based on this mistake, your essay may find it difficult to get a passing score because it does not approach the discussion appropriately. As you are merely discussing your personal opinion throughout, the essay will only be partially compliant with the task requirements. It will then lack the appropriate 250 minimum word count and thus, lose its chance to get a passing score due to the word count deductions that will be applied to the work and the other deductions pertaining to LR, C&C, as well as GRA scores.  
  
Always identify the side being spoken of in the paragraph by clearly indicating it in the topic sentence, which is the first sentence for every paragraph so that you can clearly represent whose opinion is being discussed and in the process, increase your scoring chances in terms of GRA considerations. Rather than saying "On the one hand" say "The public perception is that people should be allowed to make noise because..." For the next paragraph you could say "As for reducing the amount of noise made, there are groups that support laws reducing noise because..."  
  
Identify the topic, identify the speaker, all within the first sentence of each paragraph. It helps to represent the prompt discussion requirements and also allows for a clearer discussion presentation. That way, you do not accidentally change the discussion from public and personal points of view to just a personal point of view of the two arguments. Remember this is a 3 reasoning paragraph essay based on the prompt instructions. You only wrote 2 reasoning paragraphs. That shows a clear misunderstanding of how to discuss the given prompt.
## CONSUMER SPENDING IN SOME EUROPEAN COUNTRIES

  
  
**The table below gives info on consumer spending on different items in five different countries in 2002  
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.**  
  
The table reveals the threefold of national consumer expenditure category that was spending to the different countries(Ireland, Italy, Spain, Sweden, Turkey) in 2002. Regarding the table, the value of food, drunk, and tobacco made up an overwhelming majority of the category.  
  
Overall, the leisure and education's value was lowest and did not exceed 5,00%. Spain with the lowest percentage is 1,98%. Turkey is the country with the highest percentage in this field is 4,35%. In terms of the source of the table information, Italy was predominantly expenditure (9,00%) in clothing and footwear as opposed to other countries, meanwhile, which have not fluctuated over 1%.  
  
It is evident from the information provided that Turkey and Ireland had far the high number of food, drunk, and tobacco as the preponderant supplier and made up 32,14% and 28,91% respectively.  
  
*Please, I am a newbie, someone helps me where I am wrong about the idea, grammar, etc.  
Thank you so much,  
Have a nice day!  
Sincerely.*  
  
*