dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
## the passing rate of driving test

  
  
The graph illustrates the proportion of Asian males and females getting licensed in their driving test between 1980 and 2010.  
While the figure for passing rate in driving tests fluctuated over the period surveyed, it is evidentially obvious that women got licensed more than men all the time, and the gap in statistics stabilized at around 20%.  
  
The statistics for females succeeding driving exam has its start at approximately 48% and that of males was 28%. In the next twenty years, the ratio of the two genders went upwards continually and both had their peak at 68% for women and 49% for male.  
  
However, the year 2010 witnessed a small drop in the percentage of women getting drivers license from 68 to only 63 over 100 people surveyed. For male test-takers, the statistics didn't have any remarkable changes since its peak in 2000 and remained at a standstill with 49 over 100 men getting licensed  
  
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It is better not to make any reference to actual measurement figures within the strending statement. The trending statement is still a part of the summary overview and as such, should not contain any specific measurement indicators yet. Only the measurement type should be indicated at that point.  
  
A survey indicates measurements being taken. That does not portray the results of the survey yet. The measurements already indicate a final result for each year range. Use a different synonym as a "survey" does not apply to this report presentation.  
  
Though the writer strives for clarity throughout the report. The improper word usage that exists from beginning to end in the presentation is what creates a problem in understanding the presentation. The writer must focus on proper vocabulary building and word usage to solve this problem. Unfortunately, I cannot present all the grammatical problems in this presentation without rewriting the whole essay. Rules of the forum forbid me from rewriting the total essay for the student.
Đề bài 1:  
***The charts show the sources of electricity produced in 4 countries between 2003 and 2008.***  
## Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

  
  
ANSWER:  
  
The pie charts give information about the figures of different sources of electricity supplied in four nations, namely India, Sweden, Morocco, and Vietnam during five years, from 2003 to 2008.  
  
Overall, Vietnam and India used a considerable amount of electricity from fossil fuel while Sweden and Morocco had the vast majority of hydro power . Only India and Sweden produced nuclear power.  
  
As can be seen, India considered Fossil fuel as the main source with 82 percent. Following this country is Vietnam that had the percentage Fossil fuel stood at 56%. Meanwhile, a mere 5 % source is supplied for Morocco and 4% for Sweden. Nuclear power is only produced in two countries India and Sweden with 4% and 44%, respectively.  
  
However, Hydropower was used in all 4 countries in which Morocco ranked highest proportion about 95%, Sweden had roughly at 52%, and lower percentage was Vietnam with 56%. The smallest data of this source was India which accounted for 14%.  
  
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Divide the summary overview and trending paragraphs into at least 3 sentences each when representing the initial information from the image. This will allow the writer to use a unique image number and identifier that will be perfectly aligned with The summary TA requirements. Separating the information into sentences helps achieve information clarity in relation to coherence and cohesiveness requirements.  
  
Nuclear power is only produced in two countries India and Sweden with 4% and 44%, respectively.  
This sentence requires a comma to present a pause (for clarity) in the sentence. The comma should come after the word "countries" or be formatted as:  
  
... countries, namely India and Sweden.  
  
Though there are some sentence word formation errors in the report, the data remains clear to the reader and will be considered for at least a passing score in the end.
of electricity ~~supplied~~ in four nations, namely, India, ... ~~during five years,~~  from 2003 to 2008.  
  
had the **vast majority** vast and majority both has the same meaning . Only India and Sweden produced nuclear power.  
  
The lexical resource is not strong enough. (The nuclear power was only used as a source by Indians and Swedish over the period)  
  
~~As can be seen~~, India  
Following this ~~country is~~  Vietnam ~~that~~  had the ... 56% for fossil fuel.  
Nuclear power is only produced do not repeat, only add values  
  
~~However,~~ Hydropower ... percentage was at Vietnam with 56%. ~~The SMALLEST DATA of ... for 14%.~~
***The diagram shows how the Australian Bureau of Meteorology collects up-to-the-minute information on the weather in order to produce reliable forecasts.***  
## Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown in the image.

  
  
The diagram illustrates the process of weather forecast by Australian Bureau of Meteorology using the information collected on weather.  
  
Overall, the process consist of four main steps. Such as, incoming information, analysis and forecast, prepare the broadcast and broadcast. Number of resources and methods contribute in each step in order to produce a weather forecast.  
  
As the first step they gain the information from three main resources (the satellites, radar and drifting buoy). Satellites give information as satellite photos whereas radar and drifting buoy give information as radar screen and synoptic chart respectively. Those information given by each resource use in analysis and forecasting process in order to give an output.  
  
By passing the analysis and forecast step, the next step is to prepare the broadcast by the computer system. The broadcast prepared by computer system then reach the final step which is broadcast. Finally the weather forecast broadcast by a TV newsreader, radio or as recorded announcement.  
  
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using the information collected on weather.  
This is a redundacy. This information is clearly implied at the start of the sentence. Good work on presenting a summary of the report collation and creation process though. It is a clear summary that provides the necessary information to the reader, who can understand the process even without seeing the diagram. Excellent creative representation.  
  
As the first step they gain the information from three main resources  
A comma should be provided in this sentence. Separate the step from the procedure. A pause is required rather than a period or any other punctuation mark.  
  
Satellites give information as satellite photos whereas  
A comma would be helpful to separate the sattelite information from the next thought process. However, a period would be more helpful since the next set of information does not relate to the previously stated data.  
  
There are a few other sentence structure issues in the presentation in relation to grammar usage. These errors are minimal and do not affect the clarity of the presentation too much. Overall, this is an acceptable effort that tends to properly use the profession related jargon in the report.
## IELTS WRITING TASK 2:

  
According to some research, encouragement is really important for children's development. For that reason, many adults usually cheer their children up by telling them that they can conquer everything as long as they do their best. Personally, this viewpoint has both positive and negative aspects and in this following essay, I will discuss them clearly.  
  
On the one hand, the most significant benefit of this message is that it can train children to be a hard-working person because studiousness is the fundamental factor of every achievement. Once the targets are defined, children will put all their effort, time, patience, etc into their works until they are successful instead of giving up in frustration. Another advantage is that it can educate children how to believe in themselves and be optimistic in all hard situations and then come up with solutions. Take Edison as an example, he had failed more than 10000 times to find a suitable material for his incandescent bulbs and he did not stop working until he found the ideal one. Finally, this teaching method brings hope. It is an inspiration for children who got disadvantaged backgrounds that without financial support or educational privilege, their passions are still achievable.  
  
On the other hand, this message also has some pessimistic drawbacks. First of all, it can be the source of pressure and mental illness for children. If children take hard-work as the guarantee for their victories, it can push them too hard to reach their goals which may lead to some undesirable consequences such as suicide. What's more, unlimited compliments can create unrealistic goals in children. There are many people who are given great talents that others don't have. For instance, Celine Dion is one of the most famous and talented divas in the world therefore it cannot be denied that a person who has no talent for singing will never reach Celine's level even if that person spends all his/her life practicing.  
  
In conclusion, this teaching method is always a good way to motivate children and it should not be underestimated. However, parents ought not to give their kids this kind of compliments in some situations where hard-work is not the essential condition.
According to some research, encouragement is really important for children's development.  
Where exactly did this reference come from? There is no supporting evidence to show that this was prsented in the original topic. Why was this added to the restatement then? A restatement is defined as a verb that allows one to state ( a topic) again or in a new way. The new way does not mean adding information to the original. Information addition is not allowed because it changes the original statement in a negative manner. In this case, an unsupported reference was made, which changed the source material of the statement from a public opinion to a researched point of view. The latter being an incorrect reference pont. That said, the reference to the thesis statement is good, but requires topic discussion points to create the discussion paragraph outline / accurate thesis statement.
## number of people who passed the driving test

  
  
The chart demonstates the proportion of Asian women and men in a country who succeeded in getting through their driving test between 1980 and 2010.  
Overall, it is clear that the number of people who passed the driving test increased from 1980 to 2010. However, female were more suceessfully finished the test than male. In 2000, the portion of both genders reached the highest milestones over the period.  
  
In 1980, just below 50% of woman could pass the exam.Then, this fraction rised to about 53% in 1990. The highest proportion of woman during the term got through the test made out neaely two thirds in 2000. However, the percentage went down with approximately 64% in 2010.  
  
Over the period of 1980 to 1990, the ration of men who could have their driving licenses increased from roughly below one in three to under 40%. Though, man had the highest proportion of driving test passed during the period with a rate of about 50% in 2000. And this ration stayed stable by 2010.  
  
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*the chart*
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Tense usage and referencing is a clear problem for this writer. She must review her tense usage lessons and familiarize herself with word tenses to avoid the repeated errors in this essay. While the clarity of the presentation was not affected, the grammar range and accuracy scores will definitely be reduced due to the grammatical errors.  
  
Additional lessons in Singular v. Plural work usage are also needed because the writer tends to use a mix of singular and plural references in sentences / paragraphs. There must be a uniform reference in this section when it comes to the number of users. This problem will be another reason for another GRA score reduction. Refer to the image title. The genders are provided in plural form. So the reference must remain in the plural form within the report. The image information often clues in the student to the possible presentation errors. Taking note of these information often helps avoid the presentation problems in specific sections.
## why teenagers utilize their phones

  
  
The pie charts indicate the survey's result in an African country about the main reasons why teenagers utilize their phones from 2016 to 2019.  
Overall, it can be directly observed that social networks and digital cameras witness an upward trend, while email and phone calls tend to decline throughout the 4 year-period.  
  
Looking at the details, both surfing the Internet and digital camera had a slight growth. In 2016, people using phones for social networks accounted for half of the reason, after 4 years, this had climbed to 56% which was a slow growth. Apart from that, the use of digital cameras also experienced the same growth which increased from 15% to 20%, 5% higher compared with the figure at the start of the period.  
  
Turning to the second group, while email had a slow decline, phone calls tend to decrease considerably. The number of users who used phones for emailing in 2016 took up 25% before it dropped minimally to 19% in the last period of the survey. On the other hand, in 2019, the proportion of phone calls accounted for 5% which was three times lower compared with the figure in 2016.
The writer indicates the plural form of a pie chart, which is pie CHARTS. However, the information provided does not indicate the number of charts and how the information provided in the summary was divided into the number of charts. How many charts were there? The number of images should have been indicated in the summary, as well as the division of information.  
  
Due to the missing image, I cannot fully review the essay in terms of meeting the prompt requirements. The image and its accompanying information would have provided that clarity for me. Even in the reporting section, the writer did not seperate the pie chart information using topic titles to create a clear separation of data presentations. It is difficult to review this essay because there is an obvious error but the lack of image presentation prevents me from delivering a thorough assessment for the presentation improvement.
## children learn to give speeches and presentations

  
  
These days, when our scientific knowledge and life qualities have been developed, then if we want our children to take over this enormous achievement, we have to improve our education system. That is the reason why we have to let them learn how to give speeches and presentations in school.  
  
At first, we knew that when somebody wants to give speeches they have to have enough confidence, knowledge and education background to give that, because when you have a speech or a presentation, you have to do that for at least 5 to uncountable of people to hear or watch it. So when we teach children how to give speeches and presentations in school, that means we have given them the foundation to be a leader, a successful man, a confident man who wants to be a confident, erudite, and have their own positions in society or just an enthusiastic man who wants to follow their own dream. There is no disadvantage to this problem, just benefit and beyond.
The writer shall fail the test with this type of presentation. The main scoring consideration is always the word count. That is checked first by the examiner. He expects to find no less than 250 words in the presentation. Less than 250 words means that he will be forced to apply deductions in the TA section due to the insufficient word count. Since this essay is only over 100 words, I am afraid there will not be enough of a base score consideration left to allow it to meet the the passing score requirements.  
  
The writer Has not provided ample responses for the 2 discussion questions. In fact, there is only a partially developed response for the first question as indicated in the original prompt. It is the lack of discussion development for 2 questions that led to the failure of this essay. The writer neglected to respond to both questions, hence the lower than required word count. In this case, nothing can be done to increase the score. Meet the word count next time and respond fully to all provided discussion questions. That is the best way to achieve a passing possibility in this test.
I am sorry because I forgot to save the topic. I just remembered like this:  
***Some people think international sports event is good for the country. Others think it is bad.***  
## Discuss both views and give your opinion.

  
  
International sports events such as World cup or Olympics attract millions of visitors both inside and outside the host country. Although holding events of such a large scale may do harm to the country, I would argue that it does bring some significant benefits.  
  
Apparently, there are some drawbacks that should be taken into careful consideration when holding an international sports event. First of all, such events may lead to a higher level of pollution. More people coming means more vehicles used and more exhausted fumes emitted. For those reasons, pollution, such as noise and air pollution, gets worse afterwards and severely affects the health of the natives. Another the downside is the coronavirus, a contagious virus. In an era where COVID-19 is rampaging, it is likely that the virus will spread all over the country and kill millions of people if the government doesn't strictly comply distancing and sanitary regulations. Last but not least, there may be threat of terrorism and damage to traditional buildings or cultural heritages due to the carelessness and irresponsibility of visitors.  
  
I advocate celebrating sports events on international scale for the reason that it will be profitable to the host country. During the events, the country can make millions of dollars from many sources such as selling admission tickets or signing ads contracts with famous sports gear brands. Moreover, a lump sum of money can also be made through the traveling of visitors. The events are also great opportunity to promote tourism. Many visitors will spend a few days paying a visit to well-known tourist attractions. What's more, the country should make good use of the occasions to make its good sides such as hospitality, scenic views and so on known to the public.  
  
In short, such huge events when held definitely have some difficulties. However, in my opinion, if the country can deal with the problems effectively, international sports events may help boost the economy of the host country remarkably.  
  
Sometimes, I have difficulty expressing my ideas in a sentence with proper length. Do you have any advice?  
Thank you very much for you feedback and you help<3 They are of very good use for me.
Any writer who does not use a discussion outline prior to drafting his response essay will find himself writing an uneven paragraph presentation. The writer needs to consider the discussion topic in relation to the discussion question or instruction from the original prompt.  
  
Divide the presentation into paragraphs. Each paragraph should start off with a Topic Sentence that will tell the reader what the paragraph discussion will be about. Follow that sentence with the reasoning sentence, example sentence, additional reasons, then a transition sentence into the next topic ( for hohesive purposes). Accomplish those basic writing expectations per paragraph and the presentation will be well balanced. Make sure though that there is an understanding of the prompt based on the writing instructions. Provide the discussions accordingly.  
  
Aim to write the maximum number of sentences as suggested for maximum scoring consideration. That means, no paragraph should be less than 3 sentences, no more than 5 sentences either. By writing these number of sentences, the paragraph presentations will always be of proper, and of maximum scoring length.
## changes in Panama city from 2010 to 2019

  
  
The line graph illustrates the rates of crime and how these rates altered which occurred in three different places in panama city between 2010 and 2019.  
  
Overall, there was a fluctuation in the number of incidents causing by car theft and robbery examined;meanwhile, the figures for burglary saw a dramatic drop.In addition, burglary constantly had the lowest figures throughout the period.  
  
The amount of happenings relating to burglary started at about 3400,after which it witnessed a rapid decrease to exactly 1000 in 2015.Similar changes can be seen in the figures for car theft and robbery, which fell from roughly 2800 and 700 to around 2100 and precisely in the first 5 years.  
  
From 2005 to 2019, the quantity of car theft cases increased considerable, reaching around 2800 to become the main reason for the number of incidents towards the end of the period.The figures for burglary and robbery saw the similar changes, but to lesser extents, growing to roughly 1500 and 700 in the final year respectively.  
  
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The main problem with this report is the clarity of the presentation. The writer has truly put in a good amount of effort when it somes to analyzing the image. Analysis and comparison sentences / paragraphs exist in the presentation. The desire of the author to be understood is clear. Unfortunately, the essay suffers from clarity within the paragraph presentations. There is an obvious lack of control when it comes to using the English language. Sentence formation and word usage would be the main concern here.  
  
Despite the writer's efforts, the overall essay is totally confusing to the reader because of his weakness in grammar range and accuracy. This grading section will be credited with a failing score due to severe writing inefficiencies of the test taker. While the TA score may not suffer too much, the C+C, LR scores will suffer the same failing consideration as the GRA score.  
  
The writer should not proceed with any more task practice essays until he gets his GRA problems corrected. There is no single problem to point out in this case. He must review and practice based on overall English writing accuracy considerations.