dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
**Topic :Some children do not have the ability for learning languages.Therefore , schools should not make children do that.Do you agree or disagree.**  
Please give me appropriate band for this essay , thanks  
  
## no incentives to sharpen children's linguistic skills

  
  
In the contemporary society , the question whether school-aged individuals , who could not obtain mother-tongue basically , should not be forced to cultivate their personal ability by the ministry of education have drawn much attention from society.Personally , I give my firm opposition to this notion .  
  
Foremost,It is a fallacy that children should be not given incentives to sharpen their linguistic skills by their teachers.Therefore,due to the fact that communication by some distance hold a vital position in nowadays lifestyles ,transborder collaboration and international or domestic negotiation,it is obviously crucial for the regulatory bodies to force schools to invest more enormous influx of fundings,human resources to help their exceptional students well-roundedly flourish as ordinary offsprings despite their innate malformation refrain language-based development.From the social perspective , education support empowers children to be able to communicate , in the long term , not only help aforementioned individuals enhance prospective opportunities ,widen personal horizon to get access to contemporary society but also pave the way for the government to generate intellectually well-equipped generations to reinforce financial budgets , foster prosperity especially with knowledge-based economy such as the U.S or VN in the future.If it wasn't for any act of assistant, children would encounter numerous obstacles to survive and thrive in such competitive world.  
  
However, to figure out appropriate initiatives needs immediate involvement of both individuals and families ' endeavour besides schools support.As referred previously , since it exert massive effects on personal life , not only mother-tongue but also English could be seen as precursor to facilitate students career become brighter.Accordingly , these extrinsic factors will be collateral culprits to help school-aged individuals satisfy the instant quest for overseas occupation , keep abreast of latest global information.For instance , world would have missed significant scientific breakthroughs if it hadn't been for family support for Albert Einstein , who have suffered from lack of communication,  
  
In conclusion, it is necessary for schools encourage children to improve language skills regardless of inborn restrictions and external assistance will be firmly crucial.
Ken, the overall score for your essay cannot be higher than a 2. Yes, I mean that score is what you will get for each and every band criteria. There are a number of reasons that you cannot score higher than this in an actual test, with this type of presentation. The reasons are as follows:  
  
1. The response that you gave slips in and out of relevance to the prompt requirement. You have a tendency to discuss unrelated topics in the essay.  
  
2. You do not have any control of organizational features. The reader has a hard time trying to make sense of the topic that you are trying to discuss per paragraph.  
  
3. Your language problem has created an essay that cannot be understood by the reader due to the problems with lexical resources and sentence structure. You have absolutely no idea as to how to compose even the most simple English sentence in a comprehensible manner. This causes severe stress for the reader.  
  
4. Your punctuation problems are evident throughout the essay. The comma should not take the place of a period and it should not be contained throughout a paragraph. That qualifies your written work as only one sentence instead of a full paragraph. A paragraph is created by knowing when to use periods in your thought presentations.  
  
While this essay is truly problematic, I would like you to continue practicing. I know this is your first attempt at writing an IELTS Task 2 essay so the problems are understandable. With constant practice and guidance, you should show some improvement within a week or two. Just write everyday. Don't stop. That is the only way that you can get better at developing these essays.
**Nowadays, more people are choosing to socialise online rather than face to face. Is this a positive or negative development?**  
  
## how to strengthen transportation networks

  
  
There is no doubt that the integrated transportation networks, as an essential element of city's development, should be given the highest consideration. Accordingly, in recent years, some people concern that the government's expenditure should focus on railways rather than roads. In my view, I am completely supportive of the opinion that the authority must put the highest priority of its funds to build more railways.  
  
In the beginning, there are several causes for constructing railroads, as the modern ways for transportation, and one of the most significant reasons is decreasing the accidents rate in the crowded major cities. For example, underground train in Spain that reduces the fatal accidents ratio by 24% at 2015.  
  
Furthermore, improving this type of transportation, have a tremendous benefits on level of affluence and the decent standard of living ,It is not only that but also because of building railways stations aligned with other facilities , the economic feasibility is aiming high as it facilitate the goods transportation easily and safe even agricultural and industrial outputs.  
  
Another crucial point to be considered for caring about railways is saving the time of moving for all citizens to go to their directions and also their work in rush hours, consequently, there will be more productivity from every person in his position in society. Finally, one more factor to be examined in this topic, the travelling between countries will be much easier and more safer that travelling through highways roads especially in bad climate.  
  
For instance, the Rail Europe that travels between Italy and France passing through Spain  
Avoiding any environmental change with high safety factors.  
  
In conclusion, based on the above-mentioned facts about spending on construction of railways, I admit that it is a must to better by improving and supporting the building of railroads in order to tangible benefits that reflect on individuals and their quality of living.  
  
The integration between railways and other transportation services as one of the main precursors to city's evolution.
Ayman, I am assuming that you posted the wrong prompt instructions to go with the essay that you developed. Since you gave a totally different answer than that which the prompt requires, the only score you can get for this essay is a 1. That is the score that is given when the exam taker provides an answer that is totally unrelated to the prompt. Please be more responsible the next time that you post an essay for review. Make sure that you are presenting the correct prompt for the essay. I am really disappointed that I could not give you a better score just because you did not respond to the correct prompt. If you can provide the prompt for the essay that you wrote, I can score you on this current essay instead. The response just has to match the prompt. That is all that you need to be sure of each time you write a practice test.
**The charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world.  
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.**  
  
*Write at least 150 words.*  
  
## agricultural, industrial and domestic water usage

  
  
The charts provides information about water usage for three different purposes in six areas of the world.  
  
Firstly , let us take a look at the areas where over four fifth of water is used for agricultural purpose and that leads us to the developing areas, Central Asia, Africa, South America and South East Asia.  
  
Furthermore, turning to the industrial use of water, which under half of the percentage are the developed areas, Europe and North America, the opposite of Central Asia, Africa, South America and South East Asia in where the industry is ongoing for development.  
  
When it comes to the domestic usage of water , where is tenfold less than the other two purposes shown in the charts, only South America has the biggest usage.  
  
In conclusion, is a big difference between developing areas and already developed areas. The water usage for different purposes in six area of the world show a main example.  
  
*
**Hello mariana, I have taken the liberty to edit the whole essay for you. Here is your essay :**  
  
The charts illustrates the data regarding the water usage for three different purposes ...  
  
Firstly, the developing areas such as South America, Africa, Central and South East Asia have the largest consumption of water for agricultural use. This accounts for about four fifth of the total usage for these localities with Central Asia having the highest percentage of 88%. Europe and North America, however, have much less usage at 32% and 39% respectively.  
  
On the other hand, the usage of water for industries is most significant in developed areas like North America at 48% and Europe having the greatest amount of 53%. In contrast, this percentage is extremely low from 12% to 5% usage for the other developing areas.  
  
When it comes to the domestic category, compared to the other two usages of water, there is tenfold drop in the percentage to 7% for Central and South East Asia, 9% for Africa and 13% to 19% for the three other locations.  
  
**Some advice I would give to you is that :**  
1. You should mention the actual numbers and percentages from the charts.  
2. No need to write personal opinions like (developed or developing areas).  
3. Learn to use more synonyms.  
4. It is not necessary to give a conclusion.  
What matters is the details and comparisons of the figures in the charts.  
  
**For more help use these websites :**  
1. ielts material (Good for writing task 1 and 2 samples)  
2. ielts-mentor (Good for speaking samples)  
Use these websites to read high band score samples and learn from them.  
Practice and practice. By the the way I got 7.5 in IELTS and currently trying to get study visa for Canada. Wish me luck and pray for me.
Hi Mariana13!!  
  
The way you write this essay depends on what it's for. I'm presuming it's a regular school/college essay.  
  
The Pie chart given below shows the distribution of water for agricultural, industrial and domestic usage in six major regions of the world.  
  
Firstly, looking at the developing areas such as South America, Africa, Central and South East Asia, it is evident that major potion of the available water ie. over 70-80% is utilized for agriculture. Water for industrial and domestic use is only a small fraction of the whole. This gives us an idea about the majority of the population is involved in agriculture for the livelihood.  
  
The developed regions such as North America and Europe show a different picture. The total available water is more uniformly distributed for all the fields, with maximum utilization by Industries. This indirectly tells us that most of the population is involved in skilled labour.  
  
This chart thus makes the comparison of developed and developing nations easier using a simple modality like water usage.  
--  
Like Doel says above, you can add more content by stating the % of water utilized.
Ana, the instructions clearly state that you are to present at least 150 words, nothing less. Yet you are presenting a 139 word count essay for our review here. Be cognizant of the instructions given in the test. Submitting an essay that is less than the word count will result in an automatic failure during the actual test. The mere lack of word requirement for this essay already tells me that the essay has major content issues and does not fully present the information in the strongest manner possible. When tasked to write at least 150 words, you should strive to submit an essay that is at least 175 - 200 words long in order to have a better chance of proving your task accuracy, lexical resource abilities, grammar accuracy / range, and most importantly, your coherence and cohesiveness in providing the summary report. Your work suffered tremendously due to your carelessness. Remember, always check the word count. That is the vital first step in passing this test.
**Most countries allow 18-year-old to drive a car. Some people say this is a good age to start driving. Other people say that the minimum age to drive a car should be at least 25 years**  
  
## Driving skills and safety versus age of a driver

  
  
Some people believe that the minimum age of driving vehicle is 18 while others consider that 25 is a better age for driving since people are more mature. I believe that the age is not a determining factor as far as the experience is. This essay will analyse both sides of the argument.  
  
On the one hand, several people believe that the rates of accidents are increasing due to the negligence of immature young drivers and also they believe that the person is matured enough at the age of 25. Also teens do not have the ability to handle worst situation that happens on the road as they are immature. Moreover, as the impact of movies and television stunts, some of the youngsters modify their cars, engines and race them just for attention of others. Since the maturity has not grown among the teenagers, 25 is the age where a person should be allowed to sit behind the wheel.  
  
On the other hand, many people strongly believe that most of the accidents caused by the young drivers are because of lack of experience regardless the age. People of any age group without adequate experience can cause such accidents. Instead of increasing the driving age limit, the government have to identify the root cause of the accidents and appropriate preventive measures should be taken accordingly. For Instance, every road should be given a moderate speed limit and the drivers should be penalised on spot if they exceed the limited speed. The government should make more awareness about the reckless and drunk driving among the public and it definitely reduce the accidents to a great extent.  
  
In conclusion, the driving age should not be raised to 25 and the people over 18 should be allowed to drive as long as they are experienced enough.
Ahamed, kindly post the complete prompt instructions so that I can verify if the method of your opinion presentation is accurate for the essay. I would like to judge your essay accurately based upon the final line of the prompt that relates to how the prompt should be discussed. That is not presented in your instructions at the moment. Basically though, you have a pretty good essay that only suffers from a lack of clear discussion presentation. There is a lack of proper thought development for the ideas that you presented. You should have taken only one reason for each side to represent the discussion. As long as you properly developed your defense of the reason, there would not have been any need to present multiple supporting facts that were not properly developed for the essay. This scatter brained line of reasoning would have adversely affected your final score in the end had this been an actual test.
Ahamad, I cannot score this test accurately because the prompt instructions that you provided is incomplete. I have no idea as to how you were expected to argue the topic in the essay. Normally, the students that post their essays for review here include their complete prompt instructions, not just the discussion topic. The reason that they do that is because we cannot judge the Task Accuracy score without it. Since the task accuracy score is the first step in scoring, I am not able to judge your cohesiveness and coherence either. I am not so concerned about the lexical resource or grammar range and accuracy because those are the least of the concerns when judging the essay. Those 2 last points can receive a high score provided that the first 2 points, deliver a high score as well. So please present the full prompt, with the discussion instruction at the end so that I can properly score your essay.
To, your introductory paragraph lacks a reference to your personal opinion as a part of the forthcoming discussion in the essay. Therefore, your task accuracy is incomplete as the opening statement carries a significant weight of the scoring system. When you miss something in the paraphrasing of the prompt requirement, you automatically lose points as that shows a clear lack of understanding of the prompt instructions.  
  
The lack of reference to the personal opinion made the essay discuss the prompt improperly, That is because you are expected to show a completely developed paragraph that discusses Point A, then another paragraph for Point B, then finally, a paragraph dedicated to your personal opinion. As it is, the essay does not clearly define whose opinion is being presented due to lack of clarity in your summary statement.  
  
You need to clearly state, within the first sentence of the new paragraph, if you are discussing the point of view about parents, school and friends, or your personal opinion. That recognition will show that you know how to coherently and cohesively discuss the topics presented. As there are missing elements in this essay, I believe that you overall score cannot be higher than a 4 overall.
I am not sure what you mean by your first sentence. There is a lacking subject in it. Care to give it another try? I am more than happy to explain anything to you, provided I can understand what your question is. Right now, I am not sure what the purpose of the first sentence is so I would really appreciate a clarification on your part. Did you accidentally use a period when you meant to use a comma to present your thoughts? If you did, then you have to be more careful next time and make sure that you do not accidentally present incomplete sentences. Most specially in your practice tests. That will definitely be a major problem for your score if you happen to do that in the actual test.  
  
Now, if you really want a run down of your scores, per scoring criteria, it would most likely be as follows:  
  
Task accuracy - 4 - this is due to the fact that you did not cover all of the necessary points as indicated in the prompt. This includes the lack of individually discussed pro, con, and opinion issues in the essay.  
  
Coherence & Cohesiveness - 4 - you could have done a better job in explaining the issues on hand if you had followed the format suggested by the prompt instructions for your paragraph discussion presentations.  
  
Lexical Resource - 4 - you are using simple and basic English words which does not show a more advanced grasp of the language. This also proves a limited ability to use English in word formations since you opted to discuss the topic in simple English terms.  
  
Grammar Range and Accuracy - 4 - While the sentence development is acceptable, there are some problems in the way that you developed the presentation of the sentence. This led to a limited range of sentence structures on your part which resulted in the low score.  
  
Don't lose heart. Just keep on applying the corrections you receive in your essays in your future practice tests. I am sure you will only improve from this point on. It is the only thing that can happen for as long as you keep the faith.
Luong, you have written an extremely well researched essay. Normally, I would congratulate you on such a well written paper. However, the sheer amount of research that you put into this essay tells me that there is no way you would be able to write this well in an actual test. For one thing, the essay is too long and contains academic information. A TOEFL or IELTS test mostly asks you to rely on your practical knowledge of a topic in order to write your essay due to time constraints when taking the test. During the actual test, you will not be allowed to use outside sources as the system will be locked to the LAN of the testing center. Therefore, while you wrote a very good essay, you did not write an essay that simulates the actual exam experience and as such could result in you failing the test if you continue to practice the tests using non-existent sources in the exam center.  
  
Another note for you is the way that you presented your paraphrased prompt. In trying to show the reviewer that you have an extensive English vocabulary, you ended up presenting the same side of the discussion rather than presenting one supporting and one opposing side in the paraphrasing of the prompt requirement. That was an oversight on your part and should easily be resolved in your succeeding tests if you remain conscious of the fact that you need to present 3 opinions in total (pro, con, personal) for a successful essay.
## **How to research on the Internet**

  
  
No one can confuse the important and convenient of Internet because it connects people through the world and sources plenty information of a lot of generation. Therefore, internet is the great library for a lots students and scholars who want to make a research for their project. However, not-at-all information-on-the-Internet is accurate so be careful when research. If you want to know how to make a safely research on the Internet, just give intention for 5 following step.  
  
First, decide where you begin to find information. Nowadays, we have a lot of local and college libraries have an Internet database access. For example, you can access to your ISU library by the official website. However, some library have password and if you aren't their member, it is difficult to search information in there. The second solution is Google Scholar, you can search the safely free data on this online engine. Beside, you can choose official websites of Government with the end ".gov" and data from there is supplied for free and credible. When you do a research, be careful with the wrong information and try the best to find the credible data source.  
  
Second, find the mental of information you want to find. When you research on the Internet, if you don't really know what you want to find and type some general keywords, you will be received thousands results include useless and useful. Hence, identify the keyword of your need information. For instance, you want to do a research of Marketing, you can begin with Phillip Kotler - the father of Marketing major and you will brief a lot of results. That is the reason why keyword or mental information is really important on Internet research. If you find a safely data sources, identify keywords as quickly as possible.  
  
Third, check credibility such as author, date, reliability and accuracy. You have to prove where you take an information, who is its author and the day of this research. For example, some medicine research make on 1960 and this information may be out of date and useless for your research, you need to find some newer data. Remember, you make a research and it have to accurare, so make everything as exact as possible.  
  
Four, complete and amend your research. We have a lot of research methods such as qualitative research, quantitative research, Research on site, experimental study, quasi-experimental study and so on. You can find the methods which is suitable for you. Finally, when everything is done, you just check and amend it.  
  
That is 5 steps to do a research on the internet. Please remember: find safely data source, stress your mental keyword, make sure about accuracy and useful of information, complete and amend your research.