dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
Please do your best to limit your discussion presentation to within 275-290 words. While you might be able to write 389 words during the CBT test, that does not mean that you will have written the perfect, more than passing score essay. All that means is that you opened up your writing to more errors that will go unchecked and uncorrected because you spent all the 40 minutes just typing away, without considering the scoring considerations for the essay. What are the scoring considerations? The TA,C&C, LR, and GRA individual scores. Scored individually, these sections will comprise you overall score. Do well in all 4, you more than pass the test. Do just well enough, you pass the test, Have too many errors in all sections, you fail the test, regardless of the number of words that you wrote.  
  
In this essay, I spotted at least 15 errors covering all 4 of the scoring considerations. That means, you failed to proof read your work at least 5 times in this presentation. All because you focused on length instead of quality. The accuracy of your grammar, the proper use of vocabulary, the clarity of your explanation, those matter more in the scoring section than any long essay you might be able to present. Write less, make less mistakes,write clearly, pass the test. That should be your mantra, that should be your aim, if you really want to pass this test your first time taking it.  
  
Now, because you did not complete the prompt presentation for this essay, I will not be able to review your essay for content conformity. There are several technology based essays that have similar themes to what you just wrote. So, I will not focus on your content but on the mistakes that you made which have a direct impact on your final score.  
  
Spelling:  
youthes - youth  
abudant - abundant  
  
Spacing problem: Always use a space after every comma  
videos, books, music, etc. , ( avoid informal word presentations such as etc in an academic or opinion discussion)  
  
regulary - regularly  
  
\* Several more errors exist for correction  
  
Grammar:  
Do not place a space between a word and a period  
young . - young.  
\* You are not familiar enough with grammar and sentence structure rules. You have to study more in relation to English writing rules before you try to write another essay.  
  
Truthfully, there are just way too many errors in this essay, spanning several English writing rules, that will prevent you from achieving a passing score. I cannot continue to review and correct your errors because of these unchecked errors. Review the writing rules before you write another practice test. If you do not do that, then you might simply repeat the same errors you made in this presentation.
Hi, I'm an IELTS learner and here are just some personal suggestions:  
Firstly, I really appreciate the clear idea indicated in your essay, especially in your third paragraph. But there're some problems with your utilization of linking words.  
  
For example: "Next, smart devices have helped....", in my opinion, "next" is not a good choice; "It is convenient and cheap..." this sentence need a linking word...  
  
Besides, too many short sentences were used in your essay, I think they should be included in one complex sentence.
***Learning about the past has no value for those of us living in the present.  
## Agree or disagree?***  
  
Some people believe that it is not necessary to learn about the historical events since it will not bring any benefits. However, while i accept that study from the past might not have any significant impacts, i would argue with the idea that historical educating is not valuable for people living in the current period.  
  
To begin with, studying history might not have any considerable influences to people nowadays. Due to the rapid development of technology, individuals are living in a modern world, in a civilized society. Additionally, people have to pay attention to other subjects or factors which might contribute to the world such as economy, health or lifestyles. Beside, historical events might not exactly real since it were written or modified by selfish individual or some religious groups. This might lead to misconception for people living in the present  
  
However, despite all of the drawbacks, i believe studying history is not a waste of time. First of all, thanks to many discoveries in the past, people are now having a great number of opportunities to create and develop their lifestyles. For example, the invention of penicillin have cured infections. Another reason is people can now trying to prevent conflicts, which they did in the past. For instance, now people know how horrendus is war, war is nothing but just violence and crimes. Therefore, they would try to avoid any conflicts. Finally, learning about the past can provide people with their national knowledge. Through learning about the past, people would know what their nation did to build, develop and protect. Therefore, individuals now would more proud of their nations and would be more enthusiastic in contributing to their countries.  
  
In conclusion, while there are some drawbacks of studying history, i believe that people should learn about the past since it will give people pride about their nations, and it will prevent people from making mistakes.
You should not be arguing in this essay. You should be offering a direct response to the question which is, do you agree or disagree? You are not being asked to argue your point, you are being asked to discuss it based on the opinion that you support. Based on your writing, it appears that you agree with the opinion presented. However, you did not directly present that discussion, which was the requirement for the essay response.  
  
When it got to the discussion paragraphs, your opinion became further blurred. There is a lack of clarity in your presentation because you opted to weight the pros and cons of both sides rather than taking a solid stance based on a clear opinion. The Task 2 test scores you on the clarity of your opinion and your reasoning in defense of it. This essay does not appropriately accomplish the expected task. You are not giving a solid opinion and you do not have a real side to support in the discussion paragraphs. As such, the examiner will score you essay based on the lack of a clear opinion, which will not be good for your final score. You need to choose a single opinion and base the 2 reasoning paragraphs on the reasons that you feel support your opinion.  
  
Now, the above explanation indicates the major reason why your essay will start off with a low scoring consideration. Further deductions will be applied for your LR, GRA, and C&C errors. Since you did not properly discuss the essay, I see no need to discuss these errors in detail. I will expect you to do a better job in your next essay, which I hope to review deeply for you so that you can improve your writing and reasoning skills.
## who should play the biggest role in environment protection?

  
  
**Environmental protection is the responsibility of politicians, not individuals as individuals can do too little.To what extent do you agree or disagree?**  
Protecting the environmental is deemed to be the duty of the government's members, not individuals as it is though that contribution of individuals to this matter is trivial. From my points of view, I completely disagree with this statement.  
  
On the one hand, I believe that collective effort from many individuals within a community will make huge differences to the environmental protection.More and more people are supporting the trend of stopping using plastic bags, plastic straws, sorting garbage, more recycling,so on.If this trend is globally followed ,the demand of using plastic products will significantly decrease which helps to prevent the environment from take a heavy toll on plastic pollution.  
  
On the other hand, government's members are also responsible for environmental issues.In order for serious problems such as global warming,violent storms, other extreme weather events to be effectively addressed, it requires the efforts and cooperation of politicians and large environmental organizations to set out laws and regulations to ensure environmental protection.For instance, corporations must follow certain standards on waste treatment, paying more tax if their production activies exceed the limits.  
  
In conclusion, I believe that both politicians and individuals play a vital role in protecting the environment, because it is everyone's duty.
Okay. So, you did not meet the minimum word requirement for this essay. There are percentage points that will be deducted based on the missing 49 words. That is the first main problem that will reduce your grade passing capacity with this presentation. Always meet the 3 - 5 sentence requirement per paragraph. It does not matter if it is the prompt paraphrase, the body of paragraphs, or the concluding summary. Meeting the sentence requirement will always result in you meeting the minimum or more than the minimum word count.  
  
Speaking of the paragraphs, you have a tendency to use run-on sentences in your presentations. That will be the main reason why you will not meet the 3-5 sentence count. This error will have a direct effect on your GRA score as this type of format shows a lack of punctuation usage, grammar rules, and sentence structure ability.  
  
These are the main reasons why your essay will not be able to achieve a passing score. These represent just too many point deductions in your work, and I have not even included the spelling errors that will pull down you LR score as well. Correct these 2 main errors in your presentation in your next essay. When you accomplish that, we will be able to talk about the quality of your presentation already.
## Car Pollutants problem

  
  
TOPIC: THE INCREASE OF CARS IS POLLUTING THE EARTH AND IS DETRIMENTAL TO HUMAN HEALTH. THEREFORE, WE SHOULD STOP USING CARS SO AS TO MAKE US HEALTHIER. DO YOU AGREE?  
  
Across the globe, the overuse of cars is causing environmental problems which are directly harmful to people's health, while there are some opinions clamming that we should stop using cars to improve people's health. From my perspective, this is not a good way due to some reasons.  
  
As awareness of protecting the environment is on the rise, we often regard the exhaust gas emitted by cars as the culprit of air pollution. What we must focus on, however, is the unscrupulous factories and the lack of environmental policies. For instance, factory emissions contribute greatly to the release of harmful fumes such as carbon dioxide into the atmosphere, which not only reduces air quality but also brings the acid rain that will affect ocean ecology. That is to say, the ban on those factories should be prioritized in order to keep air pollution at bay.  
  
It is also noteworthy that if we limit the use of cars, those who need to drive to work, because they have to spend more time commuting such as taking train or bus, will appear less energetic at work, meaning that it is likely to cause a decline in the productivity of the company or even the country. In other words, to achieve a balance between economy and environment, what we should do is to reduce car usage instead of prohibiting the use of cars.  
  
All in all, although the environment has become worse, we cannot limit the use of cars since it will thus affect the national economy. Moreover, there are other ways to improve air pollution such as banning the factories that emit toxic fumes.  
  
TOTAL WORDS: 271
This is a pretty effective discussion. You show that you have a clear understanding of the discussion topic and instructions. However, you gave a personal opinion that was not required in the prompt. The following was not required by the discussion instruction:  
  
*That is to say, the ban on those factories should be prioritized in order to keep air pollution at bay.*  
  
When you add information like that, you are required to build that topic up as a separate topic sentence in a new paragraph. Since it is not a discussion topic from the original prompt, it is going to alter the total discussion and will cause the examiner to reduce your score because you have included an unnecessary topic. It will be counted against your word actual word count and, if it covers enough words, will result in point deductions related to your essay not falling under the minimum word count. Always avoid including topics that will end up changing the discussion slant.  
  
Your third paragraph is good but hard to follow. You forgot to divide your presentation into sentence ideas. The paragraph ended up being a severely long sentence, a run-on sentence. This error in sentence formation and thought presentation will result in a reduction of your GRA score as well. So you now have 2 considerable problems in your presentation, both of which will affect your final score. Having pointed these out to you should make it easier for your to avoid these problems in the future.  
  
The concluding paragraph needs to properly restate your discussion points from the earlier paragraphs. The concluding summary should prove to the examiner that you are capable of summarizing your own thoughts, and integrating it into a presentation that includes the original prompt discussion. This must be done between 3-5 sentences. Accomplish that and you will be able to increase your TA score.
## the interests of human or animals protection

  
  
In recent years, human beings have suffered from many urgent problems : diseases, environmental problems, etc so national and local authorities face an ethical dilemma if they allocate resource to wildlife protection. While many people consider that the interests of human welfare should be a government priority, I agree with those who argue that steps must be taken to prevent the further loss of animal.  
  
On the one hand, dealing with issue which exert its detrimental effect on human is high on the government agenda. Firstly, government should spend their budget on this healthcare system. As a matter of fact, hospitals have been overwhelmed by ill patients as a result of Covid-19 pathogens having injected millions of people as well as killing 2% of those infected. Hence, although maintaining stable health system is of great expense, national budget should be most prioritised with a view to ensuring good public health. For instance, almost countries are greatly investing in scientific research such as simulation of these viruses to find a cure and develop antibiotics for this risky disease. Secondly, in terms of education, nations and individuals must place the importance on tackling education problems. Since education serves as a remedy for heightening people' intellect, the number of illiterate people must be low as much as possible. In poor countries, especially regions suffering from extreme weather, students are unlikely to be given permission to go to school due their financial burden. government, as a consequence, should build up educational infrastructures and support people with destitute living by fully charging tuition fees for them to encourage their children to follow formal education.  
  
On the other hand, I concur with those who argue that nations and citizens also need to conserve species which are on the brink of extinction. The red list of endangered species is increasing every year.If wildlife extinction continues, then humans may face an ecological crisis which impacts their own survival. For example, if the practice of whaling by using electrical pulse fishing is not halted, the ecosystems of our oceans will be altered forever, affecting the fish stocks on which so many communities depend for living. Secondly, conserving wild animals means protecting the habitats in which they live, such as rainforests and wetlands. Without preserving animals, habitat destruction would occur, triggering climate change which pose an imminent  
  
to our food productivity and environment.  
To recapitulate, endangered species must be preserved by countries and humans as these animals play an integral role in the development of human beings. National and local authorities should combine expenses on both protection of animals as well as human population
Oh boy! 434 words, you sure can type. You type pretty fast. However, you do not type within the limitations of a 40 minute essay that requires the student to complete a clear, concise, and properly developed simple essay presentation. You wrote a research paper when a simple opinion paper is required. For a task 2 essay, you should not be aiming to write more than 250-290 words. The idea is to quickly explain your opinion, without making it unnecessarily long. The examiner wants to see how well you can express yourself in English, you don't have to over explain, just explain enough.  
  
Your essay does not use enough pronoun variations to clearly indicate the 3 paragraph reasoning presentations:  
- Public point of view 1  
- Public point of view 2  
- Personal opinion  
  
The overall presentation does not discuss both opinions in the manner required by the prompt. It skips on the proper point of view presentations. It is incomplete in presentation style. You should make sure that you are using the correct format when discussing this multiple point of view essay. The focus should be on improving your GRA score through the pronoun usage indicating public opinion presentations. Using a controlled word presentation.  
  
While other teachers will tell you to simply keep writing until you run out of time, I teach my students the opposite. Control the word count, focus on the quality of your presentation, and the clarity of your discussion. An extra long essay such as this one will always have more errors in it that will keep pulling down your overall score. That is what you will avoid when you write a simple essay of proper length. You always get a better score with a concise essay, never with an extra long discussion presentation.
Hello everyone, this is my first attempt to do the IELTS writing task 2 and I would be appreciated if you guys can give me feedbacks and the possible band score.  
  
**Topic: In the future, nobody will buy printed newspaper or books because they will be able to to read everything they want online without paying.  
  
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?**  
  
It is believed that in the future, the number of printed newspapers and books will decrease because people will have the ability to read everything needed online without spending any expense. While there are some arguments in favor of reading newspapers or books, I totally agree with the view that they should be replaced by another advanced reading method, specifically, the internet.  
  
There is no doubt that the internet is getting more and more recognition these days, it is used for numerous purposes, in which reading news and books online is a very common one. With the support of the internet, people will have access to read everything they want anywhere and anytime for free, resulting in saving more time and money. For example, due to the extremely busy schedule, an entrepreneur does not have plenty of time to carry newspapers or books along with him to read them. Therefore, using a smartphone or a laptop having an internet connection is an ideal way for him to update the information about the stock market around the world on BBC's website, or to comprehend the latest marketing trends in order to make the upcoming advertising campaign more appealing.  
  
In addition, the internet provides authorities opportunities to protect the environment. The main reason for this is that once people have done their reading on newspapers and books, they may throw them away which requires a huge effort from the government in recycling them. Moreover, the smaller number of hard copied of newspapers and books, the lower number of trees cut down around the world. As a result, the global ecological system will be improved significantly.  
  
In conclusion, the advantages of reading newspapers and books online outweigh the disadvantages of it. Thus, I strongly agree with this point of view.  
(297 words)
Hi! I have some suggestions for you. Hope that they're helpful:  
- I don't think that you should you the word "ability to read" because ability refers to something intrinsic rather than a choice (in this case it is choice between paper books and digital books)  
  
- I think your example in paragraph 2 is irrational. Carrying a books or newspaper doesn't related to time-consuming reason. It is just heavy to carry and take more space and or not portable like smartphones  
  
- The second main idea is supposed to be " Reading books and newspaper online averts environmental pollution" not "the internet"
This is a good start. For a first timer, I could sense the effort that you placed in developing your reasoning paragraphs. You also did your best to paraphrase the original prompt. While you did a good job with the paraphrase, you did not change enough of the original words in the presentation so that you would be seen as using your own words in the restatement of the prompt. You need to build your English vocabulary in this case. Only when you learn to use alternative words will you be able to present the original prompt in your own words. That will help you increase your TA and LR scores.  
  
Both reasoning paragraphs are acceptable but could use more work on cohesion and discussion development. Try not to use too many topics or examples in the paragraphs as these create presentations that require more explanation development. In fact, your second reasoning paragraph is less developed than the first. That is because you rushed the second example that you gave, using very little presentation development which would have helped create a clearer paragraph presentation.  
  
The concluding paragraph suddenly changed into an A/D representation, which was not the way that the original prompt instructed you to discuss this topic. You failed to properly summarize the discussion topic starting with the original topic, the reason for the discussion, your opinion, and the basis of your opinion. So the concluding paragraph doesn't deliver the required information and format. Do not insert any information that may change the direction of the discussion or instruction format. That type of error can result in penalties for your paper in an actual test.  
  
It would be better if I do not score your work for now. It is important that I learn your writing style and abilities before I start grading you. It would be better if I start scoring you on your next essay rather than this one. That way you can show me any improvements you may have made to your writing style by then.