dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
**## Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems.

  
To what extent do you agree or disagree?  
What other measure do you think might be effective?**  
  
Some people agree that it is the best way to resolve the problems of increasing traffic and pollution by introducing higher price of petrol; however, I tend to hold that there must be a better way to deal with these situations.  
  
Before the new policy shows its effect, the implement of it will possibly bring complaints from the public because petrol is the necessity in people's lives. Besides, it is also important to control the range of price adjustment for fear of affecting people's living quality. Therefore, the effect of price increasing policy might be limited without any supplementary policy offering people other alternatives to change their habits. Raising the price of petrol blindly is very likely to lead to dissatisfaction amid people.  
  
Before the adjustment of petrol price, I believe that government should start planning the construction of mass transportation system or providing subsidy for those who buy eco-friendly vehicles such as electronic scooters or cars. Take Taipei city for example, the number of car per household is less than one, which mostly contributes to the convenience of the public transportation. When people develop their habits to take mass transportation, it will decrease the demand of car and then the petrol. On the other hand, providing subsidy for electronic vehicles is not only encouragement for consumers but also incentives for business to put more efforts on the R&D and marketing of these products. The industry will gradually change and follow the supplementary policy.  
  
Instead of the enforcement of increasing price of petrol, I argue that the offering of alternatives to people is far more effective and bring satisfaction among the society. Furthermore, the whole industry will make progress with the change of policy.
@rivathh  
Hello there. I'll provide you with writing feedback on your content.  
  
Firstly, I commend the fact that your writing is well-composed. You also had quite a smooth transition between your sentences, making the delivery of your thoughts put-together. I would only suggest attempting to improve the structure of your writing by utilizing appropriate grammar tools. If you do this, you'll be able to sharpen the entirety of your text. I would recommend looking over your usage of punctuation all throughout.  
  
Try to also evade the placement of unnecessary lines. If you do this, you'll have more space to have discursive content. For instance, your second to the last paragraph's first lines were too bulky. You could have cut down on the overexplanations to pave way for discursive writing.  
  
Best of luck as always.
## sharing materials, data with others

  
  
Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely.  
  
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.  
  
(Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.  
Write at least 250 words.)  
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Thanks to technological advances, it is easier and more convenient to share information with others; however, the relevant issue whether information in different aspects should be shared is brought up. Some people think that sharing data has a positive effect on scientific research, business and academic world, while others believe that such information ought not to spread freely due to their high value. There are some points in both sides. (70)  
  
Due to tons of free sharing information, the progress in various fields could be quick, and the money or time spent on getting the resources could be significantly reduce as well. Obviously, people may be more willing to learn if they don't have to pay to acquire the knowledge. And students who can find free tutorials on the Internet may learn faster. Furthermore, people can discuss these public messages and update or make a great improvement to them.  
  
On the other hand, it may have impact on copyright or the spread of incorrect messages. For example, if someone who bought a book talking about the tips of invention found it's interesting and post the whole content on his/her blog without getting the author's permission first, and thus others can read this book for free, which may lead to a declination on its circulation. In fact, there are plenty of instances about the illegal spread of the knowledgeable information nowadays, and it may undermine the intellectual property. In addition, many people would share some wrong ideas which would mislead others.  
  
In conclusion, both views have its pros and cons, therefore not only should people care about the content of the sharing materials but they also need to take its source and credibility into consideration.
@Styles  
Hello there. Welcome to the forum. I'll do my best to provide you with writing feedback.  
  
Firstly, to have more space for meaningful content, try to evade the usage of unnecessary lines. This will help you incorporate more depth by giving you space to be utilized for adding in concrete examples. For instance, in your opening sentence, you could have opted to either focus on the convenience or on the ease brought in by technology. Having a directed focus will help you save space in your writing.  
  
Try to evade the usage of unnecessary words as well. For instance, filler words such as *tons* and *some* can be removed in order to maximize your writing space.  
  
Best of luck as always.
## it's difficult to satisfy both employees and employers

  
  
The modern society presents a busy life for human beings. Since individuals devote half of their lifetime to work, be satisfied from career have become a vital element to improve life quality. In this essay, I will outline what factors involved in job satisfaction and discover the gap between job satisfaction and reality.  
  
Job satisfaction is composed of mental satisfaction and physical satisfaction. Employees need to be complemented, be motivated to reach certain goals to achieve mental satisfaction. For instance, managers can set a goal for each season and encourage employees to reach the goal by complement how good they are. Also, supervisors should have the ability to indicate how to reach the goals and help workers to be better. On the other hand, to provide an understandable salary is a good way to achieve physical satisfaction. Workers will not worry about their life quality and how to take care of their family if companies offer a stable salary. Only by a stable finical circumstance can workers put all efforts into their jobs.  
  
However, things are different when coming to reality. Job satisfaction is a comprehensive issue from the works' point of view. First, employees require a higher income than companies can offer. Secondly, individuals have a desire to be promoted in a short time. Finally, instead of facing own weakness and try to improve, workers tend to stay in comfort zones and only take compliments. All those factors bring job satisfaction in real life becomes impossible.  
  
To sum up, job satisfaction is easy to describe but difficult to satisfy both employees and employers. I strongly believe only by communication can a company lead employers to stay longer and work together to make the company better together.
@Joycechen  
Hello there. Welcome to the forum. I'll be providing you with writing feedback to hopefully assist you in your learning journey.  
  
Firstly, ensure that you have the appropriate usage of tenses and forms of verbs/words as you are writing. Keeping up with the fundamentals of writing will assist you in maintaining an academic tone throughout this writing process, making your essay more discernable for the readers.  
  
Try to also shorten the overall length of your paragraphs. For example, the second paragraph is quite excessively packed; you can opt to sub-divide it into two paragraphs or trim down the latter portions.  
  
Maintain balance as you are writing. Best of luck as always.
## The Student's Dilemma

  
  
*Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school  
  
Discuss both views and give your opinion.*  
  
After finishing school, teenagers are always confused about whether to get a job or continue their education. While some people think that getting a job is more beneficial than chasing university level, I would argue that it is better to go to university or college.  
  
Undeniably, there are some benefits to attract student starting a job straight after school. Many young people crave to earn money as soon as possible. In this way, they can live independent and able to purchase their needs such as house, car and other facilities. Hence, they are ready to settle down with their consistent life. Moreover, not only does having a job help their finance, it also brings you a chance to gain real experience and learn practical skills related to your chosen profession. This completely plays a role in your promotion and a successful career.  
  
On top of that, there are several reasons that convince me to believe in the educational path. Firstly, a university or college is the one and only place where you can achieve academic qualifications. For instance, you cannot turn yourself into a doctor, a lawyer or a scientist without having a relevant degree. Therefore, university graduates have better job opportunities and higher salaries than those with fewer qualifications.  
  
According to those achievements of studying university, it seems to me that students are more likely to be successful in their lives if they go on their studies beyond the school level.
@thaonguyen1902  
hello there,  
1. a grammar mistake in the second paragraph: "starting a job straightly after school"  
2. "they are ready to settle down with their consistent life. " the word makes me confused.  
3. You tend to hold the perspective to go to university or college rather than get a job. However, the point you list in your third paragraph seems less than the second paragraph, which makes your views not strong enough.  
  
Gook luck!
## generation gap - ielts task 2

  
  
**In many nations, people in huge cities either live alone or in small family units, instead of a large, extended family. Is this a positive or negative trend?**  
  
In these days, family structure is a major topic of concern in society. While I accept that living separately or in nuclear families instead of extended family are beneficial, I am strongly opinion that the advantages are eclipsed by negative disadvantages.  
  
On the one hand, there are definite advantages when city dwellers lead alone life. One of the biggest profits is that this situation can prevent members of family from conflicts involving in generation gap. For example, the young tends to champion the cohabitation before marriage, while the old may consider this trend as a cultural degradation. As a result, if youngster stays alone, they cannot come in for criticism from elderly. Another clear benefit is that people can spend much time for themselves. Living on their own or in nuclear family might create chances to pursuit their hobbies such as taking up exercise and traveling instead of heavily focusing on caring for grandparent.  
  
On the other hand, I am strongly convinced that aforementioned benefits are at the expense of greater drawbacks. One of the most significant disadvantages is that people cannot grasp profound and thorough knowledge. In large extended parent, for instance, children might obtain understanding about not only deep rooted cultures from grandparents, but also progressive opinions from siblings. In contrast, children living in small parent may not grasp chance to dig deeper into cultural values. Another fundamental shortcoming is that living alone or in small family units cannot enjoy collective experiences. A clear illustration of this is that in Tet holiday, grandparent wrap Chung cakes while mother worships ancestor and children play around, which is sacred bonding time that members in small family have never experienced.  
  
In general, although I accept that living alone or with parents can get substantial benefits such as avoiding problems associated with generation gap and investing more in themselves, I am firmly believe that this situation may exert severe impacts including lack of knowledge and gathering.
A more formal approach would be: ~~In these days~~ Nowadays, family structure is ...  
  
While I accept that living ... - Avoid "I", "my", "mine", "your" in a formal essay, instead use something like: While it is believed that living separately...  
  
On the one hand, there are definite advantages... - A Very well written paragraph with well-organised ideas  
  
On the other hand, I am strongly convinced... - Avoid repetition, instead: However, there are aforementioned benefits that are at the expense of greater drawbacks. For instance...  
  
In general, although I accept that ... - Try "To conclude", "In conclusion" etc instead of "In general" -  
  
Overall, excellent vocabulary and points, I would suggest elaborating on the conclusion and correlating the points made above with your concluding statement aka convincing the reader why they should agree on your concluding statement, make use of "As mentioned..." and "Correlating this back to..."
@Doan Ngoc  
Hello there. I'm going to provide you with writing feedback on your essay.  
  
Firstly, I recommend trying to make concrete the structure of your content through curating more straightforward patterns of writing. Try to evade the usage of repetitive words in order to help you maximize the space that you have. By doing this, you'll be able to foster more meaningful analysis that will help readers have a more in-depth understanding of your words.  
  
Furthermore, try to also use more vivid illustrations. You can do this through incorporating more concrete examples that'll help you emphasize more on the language that you're building and the tone that you're constructing.  
  
Best of luck as always.
***## Many governments think the economic progress is their most important goal.

  
Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country.  
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.***  
  
Some people think that governments should concern more on economic progress, but other people think that other types of improvement are equally important for a country.  
  
On the one hand, economic progress is important because the public can earn more money when there is a significant growth on economy. Economic improvement might help companies to broaden their business and they would make more profit through this economic increasing. More profit means that people could earn more money or bonus from companies. Also, the demand of employee may increase while governments improve their economy. Companies need more employees when the business rises rapidly. As result, people do not worry about the unemployment and job satisfaction.  
  
On the other hand, there are some important goals that governments should be concentrated on as well such as health, safety and education. Health issues are important to the public because people easily have health problems in this modern world, especially infants and the old people. It is important for governments to build a great health system for citizens because adults who earn money for their family may face more pressure if their parents or children are sick. In addition, safety of society is also important for a country. Governments improve the safety of society will cause the reduction of criminal rate, and it will make people more comfortable and satisfied in this country.  
  
In conclusion, although the economic progress is really important, I think that governments should concern on other types of improvement such as health and safety as well.  
  
(Just need some advice on my structure and grammar..)
@YHLin  
Hello there. Let me provide you with writing feedback.  
  
Firstly, I recommend trimming down some portions of your text. For instance, the first paragraph appears to be quite cluttered because of the composition's flow. You appeared to have a cluster of thoughts jumbled altogether. It would be nice to have decent pauses with the usage of punctuation and spacing between thought clusters.  
  
Try to also incorporate more concrete examples along the way to assist you expounding your thoughts with more depth. Remember the diversity and dynamism are both essential blocks for writing.  
  
If you can be clearer and more concise with your words, you'll foster a more advanced attitude towards building an academic tone.  
  
Best of luck.
## gap year effects

  
  
**In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for year between finishing high school and starting university studies.  
  
Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.**  
  
In recent years, more and more teenagers preferred to having a gap year between the time of high school and college. The essay will then discuss the positive and negative aspects of this kind of choice.  
  
There are many advantages for youngsters to choose a gap year in two aspects. First of all, by traveling around the world, they have the chance to broaden their horizon, meeting different people from various professions and exchanging ideas and thoughts with them. Through more interaction with people, they have the chance to form a new perspective to the world, respecting different nations, religion, and races. Secondly, participating in work field may help the teenagers to find out which industries were much more appropriate to them instead of majoring in a subject they later find out boring.  
  
On the other hand, there will always be disadvantages along with advantages. Since teenagers have no plan on what goal they want to accomplish during the gap year, they end up wasting their time staying at home, playing computer games or doing things without a purpose. Additionally, a lack of studying during gap year may make it hard for them to catch up with the speed of university studies after returning to the education system, resulting in a lack of skills required for work after graduation.  
  
In conclusion, the pursuit of working or traveling in a gap year may be beneficial to teenagers already having plans to broaden their horizons or find a suitable career path. On the contrary, it may be no good for teenagers having no idea what they are planning to do.  
  
(268 word)
@s410377088  
Hi there. I'll provide you with writing feedback  
  
Firstly, ensure that you maintain an academic tone for your writing through the usage of terms that'll help you make more concise and meaningful sentences. Try to evade clustering synonymous phrases and lines as doing so will not help improve the overall depth of your writing.  
  
Clarity is critical when writing. In your conclusion, try to focus on one trajectory when expounding. Which pursuit in particular are you referring to? Has this gap year truly been proven to improve their dedication in this respect? How are you certain with these thoughts?  
  
Remember to avoid vague when you are writing. Best of luck as always.
@Kimdash  
Hello there. Let me provide you with writing feedback on this essay.  
  
Firstly, try to make concise your sentences. If you can opt to remove particular words to help you maximize your essay's content, you can opt to do so. This will elevate your writing style. For instance, your introductory sentence could have been phrased as: "Have you met someone and felt like you've known them for years?" Notice how removing a few words can go a long way.  
  
I would also suggest trimming down the length of your essay. Some portions were quite hefty, making them immensely difficult to digest for readers. This was obvious for the second to the third paragraph.  
  
Best of luck as always.
***Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?  
## In twenty years there will be fewer cars in use than there are today.

  
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.***  
  
Car, one of the greatest invention in the history, allows people to go almost anywhere conveniently. However, I believe that in twenty years there will be fewer cars in use than there today due to a better pubic transportation system, more population, and the convenience to rent a car.  
  
To begin with, there will be a better public transportation system in each city. Living in a modern city, I can see lots of people take use of buses, trains, and MRT to commute everyday. Good transportation brings more business come to set offices in this area, which brings more people to come to work and consume foods and other products. Therefore, more restaurants and chain stores are willing to open store hear. According to sentences above, it shows that good transportation system can bring a lot of benefits. Thus, the government will invest money to develop the public transportation system, making the city more convenient to attract more business and people come and make the city prosperous. Gradually, people have no need of a car.  
  
Secondly, with the population growing, land will be less and less. And, the less the land is, the more expensive it will be. It is quite hard to purchase a house for living. Having a car will be quite costly because you need to buy a house with parking lot or rent one. With the recession of the economic and the increasing price of daily expenses, it will be less likely for people to purchase their own car because the expense of parking lot is not cheap at all.  
  
Last but not least, it is more convenient to rent a car. Like bikes can be rented with easy cards, cars also can be rented with simple process. Thus, it is not necessary to have your own car since you can rent one when needed. By doing so, you can save money for not only parking lot but also for taxes and maintain.  
  
In conclusion, I think there will be fewer cars in use than there are today due to a better public transportation system, the growing population, and the convenience to rent a car.
@ClaireQQ  
Hi there. Let me provide you with writing feedback.  
  
First and foremost, ensure that the forms of your verbs are correct. Remember to keep consistent all throughout your language. If you start out with plurals, maintain it. Remembering these fundamental rules is key.  
  
Furthermore, try to also evade the usage of excessive words. When writing, write with intention and precision. Unnecessary words can be avoided to help you clear out space in your essay. If you do this, you'll have more space for substantive content. This will enable you to have more room for depth. Remember to use alternative words that are easier to understand. For instance, not necessary can be changed to *unnecessary*.  
  
These small changes will go a long way. Best of luck!
@thaonguyen1902  
Hello there. Welcome to the forum. I'll provide you with writing feedback on your writing. I hope you find this beneficial to your English learning process.  
  
Firstly, your sentences have a tendency to be quite cluttered sometimes. Try to focus more onadding structure and dimension to your writing through incorporating more pauses and punctuation (in the appropriate places). If you do this, you'll improve the overall flow of your writing.  
  
If you can also, try to incorporate more concrete examples to expound your thoughts and opinions. For instance, give examples and illustrations that vividly portray how specifically these healthy lifestyle habits can affect the overall behavior of children.  
  
Best of luck as always.