dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
There is a time reference confusion in the first paragraph.  
  
Nowadays  
refers to most recent events over the past week.  
  
past few years  
refers to the past 2 or 3 years. The writer should use a definite reference to time only once. It will be better to use the reference "nowadays" then end the definite statement with a period after "popularity". It creates a more confident statement.  
  
However, that paragraph still suffers from an over- generalization as it claims that "all consumers" have started buying organic food. Since not all food shoppers have done so, the statement must indicate such a seperation through the use of hedging words such as "some people" or" a number of consumers". Over - generalization has the same meaning altering effect as an exaggeration.  
  
The first reason is good in terms of reasoning but does not do well in terms of supporting examples. The positive effects of organic farming need to be seen through publicly known beneficial examples. Offer evidence that your claims have a real world basis. The second reasoning paragraph is a bit better explained with commonly known evidence. The last part of that paragraph though, it suffers from clarity issues due to improper sentence development. The subject is missing from the result.  
  
An advantage v. disadvantage essay does not require a personal opinion.Therefore the concluding summary presentation is improper as it offers an unsolicited opinion. This will be the source of a heavy final score deduction. By the way, always write more than 40 words for this portion for it to qualify for a score.
## London's museums visitors

  
  
The given bar chart illustrates the number of people visiting four certain museums in London during the period of 5 months starting from june.  
In general, August witnessed the highest number of visitors in all four museums, especially British museum while nearly the lowest number of people going to the museums in december.  
  
In terms of the first two months during the investigated period, British and science museums had the highest number of visitors of over 400000 people for both. In contrast, people visited national museum the least with the number of approximately 200000 which was nearly twice less than the other two mentioned museums.  
  
Moving to the 3 months period starting from august, we witnessed a gradual decline by almost 300000 people who visited British museum. history and national museum also experienced a decrease in the number of visitors of over 400000 and 100000 respectively. The number of visitors to science museum, on the other hand, fluctuated during this period of time.  
  
*
four certain museums  
The 4 museums have reference names in the chart. For summary compliance , you have to mention the number then list the museum names.The list helps keep the vader on track once reading the trending statement. Notice that you mention one museum name as the high, you should mention the name of the low as well. That shows the reader an overview analysis on your end and further clarifies the purpose of the report. Be specific be precise. your starting score depends on it.  
  
first two months during the investigated period  
Use the specifics as indicated in the image. The months are given for a purpose, to help the reader understand your report. The reader will be confused by the erratic information presentation. Once confusion and stress sets in for the reader, your scores will suffer in at least 2 ways.
## blockbusters comparison

  
  
Blockbusters are absolutely very good cinematography works, so they always have numerous viewers and achieve great commercial success. This essay is going to compare blockbusters of the biggest film industry - Hollywood and those of Vietnam - a small country in the world.  
  
A significant difference is quality. Firstly, Hollywood has far more blockbusters than Vietnamese ones. People these days are likely to enjoy some categories like fictional, violent and action movies, which are well-developed by Hollywood. To illustrate, Marvel series films about superheroes are on top of the world in terms of the rating. Hollywood blockbusters not only include so many gripping plots, but the cinematic effect is also professional and lively as well. That is the reason why they are watched so widely. On the other hand, movies in Vietnam are often series of romantic or psychological dramas about real life. Moreover, it seems Vietnamese cinematic technology is not skillful enough to make attractive scenes. Consequently, they are hardly influential to many people.  
  
The next difference is actors. The actors in Hollywood blockbusters are selected carefully from various countries. They tend to be experienced so that they can be flexible in expressing emotions and handle every scene. In addition, they have already had a certain number of fans all over the world. As a result, those actors play an important part in making a film into a blockbuster. In contrast, there are rarely foreigners in blockbusters of Vietnam. Almost the cast are Vietnamese who are not well-known, thus they cannot attract many people worldwide. That is one of the reasons why there are few Vietnamese blockbusters although some films are so excellent.  
  
Besides the contrasts, they also have their similarities. Each of them are built with the director's enthusiasm and much assistance from the others. Their works contain meanings and lessons of life in order that the viewers can understand and learn from them.  
  
In conclusion, these two kinds of blockbusters have both differences and similarities. There are rather many aspects that Hollywood blockbusters outweigh Vietnamese ones such as the quality and the actors. However, the meaningful lessons of all these works delivered to us are the same.
The original topic basis is not clearly interpreted in the first paragraph.The writer opens with an opinion about cinematography, then goes on to discuss a totally different focus. The writer fails to provide a clear topic restatement and opinion presentation. Which is the actual topic, cinematography or a comparison discussion? This is a highly confusing opening statement. It goes in 2 different discussion directions.  
  
The conclusion speaks of differences and similarities. However, only differences are present in both discussion paragraphs. It is safe to say that the writer failed to create a discussion outline before writing this paper. Even worse, he did not check for prompt compliance after writing it. Add to these the grammar problems and you can see why this is a failing score essay. It barely addresses whatever the original prompt is.
## TRAFFIC CONGESTION IS BECOMING INCREASINGLY PROBLEMATIC IN MAJOR CITIES.

  
***WHAT ARE THE CAUSES? WHAT SOLUTIONS CAN YOU SUGGEST TO HELP SOLVE THE PROBLEM?***  
  
It is true that in recent years traffic congestion in a number of leading cities is becoming progressively problematic. There are a number of causes caused by this phenomenon and several measures can be implemented to cope up with the situation.  
  
The traffic congestion may result in two main issues. Firstly, traffic jams during the rush hour in light of the fact that people frequently finish their work and comeback home at 5pm every day. For example, a Vietnamese article shows that around 45% Vietnamese employees often finish there work at 5pm, so that tendency leads to traffic jams. Secondly, cars and road space are not used efficiently. For instance, the average car, is 80% empty when it is being driven by a single person. And most of the day, cars are totally empty and its requirements zone for parking on the street.  
  
Fortunately, a variety of solutions can be implemented by the government. Firstly, workers should share their cars and travel together consequently cars cannot be empty and have more road area for people. For instance, a car has 4 or even 7 seats, they can take 4 or 7 people together so they do not need to use their own car to occupy the area. In addition, public transport needs to be reliable and efficient. In fact, they can use bus or subway instead of using their own vehicle to travel to work due to the fact it does wonders for environment to save the fresh air and can restrict city traffic.  
  
To sum up, traffic jams during the rush hour and cars and road space are not used efficiently are two main major causes of traffic congestion. In order to solve these problems, a combination of methods should be applied by the government of each nation.
It is true  
Avoid providing a personal opinion in the restatement paragraph. By changing the purpose of the orginal topic presentation you misrepresent the discussion's prior purpose. The restatement must be a factual interpretation of the orginal without embellishments.  
  
And  
Conjunctions used at the start of a sentence lowers the GRA score. Connecting words are used only in the middle of a sentence that connects 2 ideas. Academic papers cannot be written using conjunctions at the start.  
  
most of the day, cars are totally empty and its requirements zone for parking on the street.  
This sentence is confusing. What does the requirements for zone parking relate to the discussion? This will definitely pull down the score due to lack of coherence Always fully explain the references to avoid that possibility.  
  
a combination of methods  
These must be summarized in the conclusion as well.
***More houses are needed in many countries to cope with increasing populations.  
Some people believe it would be better to build houses in existing towns and cities, while others think that the government should develop new towns in rural areas.***  
  
## Discuss both views and give your opinion.

  
  
In our modern society, more and more contemporary attention has been placed on constructing new accommodation to meet the demand of the increasing population. There are valid opinions on both sides, which I will consider now.  
  
On the one hand, it is commonly believed that a huge amount of money for construction purposes can be reduced if new houses are placed on the existing town. A well developed infrastructure in major cities is expected to be well integrated with any nearby resident. As a result, a significant amount of the state budget for building new services is unnecessary. In addition, living in the cities offer a wider range of well-paid careers, which means settling down in the urban areas is prioritized by the government and numerous citizens.  
  
On the other hand, one major benefit of developing in rural areas, which also means lowering the population density is that the deteriorating tendency of polluting is probably stopped. Having an equal number of inhabitants in different areas also improved the average living standard considerably,as well as creating proper service for people living in the countryside,...  
  
In conclusion, it is apparent that the benefit of developing in the countryside outweighs its disadvantages. Authority should converted more and more empty space for the benefit of nation,
There are valid opinions on both sides  
These should be restated in the paragraph.That is why it is identified as the topic restatement paragraph. The paragraph has failed to accomplish the 1st task requirement.  
  
which I will consider now.  
Incorrect task writing restatement and missing opinion presentation.  
  
\*The first paragraph totally fails to meet the topic restatement + opinion presentation requirements. It will recieve a failing sectional score.  
  
The discussion paragraphs fail to represent the required individual paragraphs for the public opinion. The essay is based solely on the private opinion of the writer. As such, only one formatting requirement was met out of 2. This could cause a final scoring problem for the exam taker. The response is non-task compliant. The writer must learn to identify the required discussion styles. This one was comparative + personal opinion rather than a single opinion presentation.
***'Failure is proof that the desire wasn't strong enough.'***  
## To what extent do you agree with this statement?

  
  
***Tasks:***  
  
It is believed that failure is the consequence of ambitions shortage. This essay aims to provide an insight into this statement, which illustrates the writer's perspective of a partial agreement.  
  
On the one hand, people holding the idea that will power is linked to success may derive their standpoint from two salient reasons, Firstly, it is desire that becomes a boost in motivation and productivity, which is no doubt to be a catalyst for individuals starting to improve their performance, by taking new courses or being more open to painful trauma from the past for instance. This will increase one's probability of success. Secondly, determination can also enhance one's self-discipline. Failure possibility, as a result, is far more likely to pale into insignificance since a person will not easily to give up on their progress on half way.  
  
When it comes to the other hand, it is evitable that there are several points deterring people from touching their dream in inches regardless of their effort. One factor may come from themselves, particularly when an individual has inappropriate methods. Taking a student studying for her Mathematics exam for as an example, provided that she has burnt the midnight oil learning all premises from the workbook, good grade can be made if she doesn't practice practical exercises before. Another explanation is rooted from external factors such as unanticipated loss of electricity supply or an accident prior to the interview day, which are out of a person's control. In these scenarios, no will power is able to regain the missed opportunity.  
  
In general, the conclusion gained from given points is that desire is not the only part that determine one's victory but still a key factor leading one's to their achievement.
This essay aims to provide an insight into this statement, which illustrates the writer's perspective of a partial agreement.  
Is someone else other than you writing this essay? No? Then why are you referring to yourself in the third person ? Give a direct response based on a first person reference as required by the orginal reference  
  
TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE WITH THIS STATEMENT?  
Respond directly and say why.  
  
people holding the idea  
Do not discuss other people's opinions. What you are required to present is what you think. Other people do not matter. This reference is a task inaccuracy in terms of discussion presentation. Everything about this essay should be presented in first person structures.  
  
When it comes to the other hand  
Why can't you refer to yourself directly? This essay will fail based on the general discussion format used. The required referencing and discussion format was not used.
## The bar chart analysis

  
  
The bar chart shows the illustration of the number of people visiting four different museums located in London.  
  
Overall, it could be observed that the British Museum was the most popular while the National one was the least common. Additionally, most visitors had the tendency to visit museums in August; in contrast, December witnessed the lowest number of visitors.  
  
At the beginning of summer, there was no change in the number of tourists in the History Museum, British Museum and National Museum, except for the Science one. It was obvious that the Museum of Science experienced a slight increase, from more than 400,000 to exactly 400,000 people.  
  
In August, the British Museum, History Museum, and National museum soared dramatically, with approximately 700,000; 600,000, and 300,000 people respectively. However, in the last two months of the period, the figures for these 3 museums dropped significantly. In terms of the Science museum, the number of tourists fluctuated from 400,000 to 300,00 people and reached a point of 600,000 visitors at the end of fall.  
  
*
four different museums  
Since you mention 2 out of 4 museums in the tending paragraph, you may as well list all 4 locations as a part of the summary. That way the discussion targets are correctly enumerated for reference purposes.  
  
At the beginning of summer,  
Do not change the data reference. Months were originally used as these help to clearly report the numerical references. Use the same method. Using the seasonal reference is creative but uninformative and confusing. This sort of creativity will cause C + C and GRA markdowns for obvious reasons.  
  
You only used the month reference once, then continued to confuse the reader with other reference types. Focus on reference continuity next time to avoid stressing out the reader.
IELTS 1  
  
Please rate my essay, thank you.  
  
## **The diagrams below show the design for a wind turbine and its location.**

  
*Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons were relevant.*  
  
The diagram illustrates a wind turbine specification in general and the best location to install it. Generally, according to the picture all of the wind turbine types need wind to produce power in order to generate an electricity.  
  
To begin with, the generator can generate maximum electricity if the position is built on a hillside. This is because the position has a possibility to get maximum wind strengths. Then, followed by the second position of turbine in the sea that it can produce medium electricity. But, for domestic use, the output is about to 100 kilowatts because it is a small size.  
  
The wind turbine usually have 3 main parts there are steel tower, generator, and blades that are built from fibreglass or wood. The generator can generate up to 1.5 megawatts. However, the wind turbine needs a sensor and a computer to get better condition of wind speed and wind direction.  
  
*
The diagram  
Incorrect reference in relation to S v. P. 2 illustrations are presented. Your reference is for one image only while describing 2 different mage content. The grammar and word choice rules for plural references was not followed in the sentence word choice and formation..  
  
When 2 images are presented, use one paragraph to discuss each image. Each paragraph should focus on only 1 image, report, and idea. That image focus will help with the reporting clarity. The comparison should be mentioned or completed within the trending statement. The reporting paragraphs lack focus because of the combined reporting data. It tends to confuse the reader in terms of information tracking and image relationship. Use as many as 4 paragraphs when dealing with 2 image reports.
## The graph and table below give information about water use worldwide and water consumption in two different countries.

  
  
Ans:  
The chart gives information about water use by sector agriculture, industrial use, domestic use and water consumption in two countries Brazil and Democratic Republic of Congo.  
  
Overall, the amount of using water in Agriculture from 1900 to 2000 is larger proportion than Industrial use and Domestic use. We also can see that the water consumption per person in Brazil is higher than Democratic Republic of Congo.  
  
In 1900, the proportion of Industrial use and Domestic use are only at about one-tenth of 1000km3 of water use by sector. While Agriculture is accounts for 500km3 of water use by sector from the chart. By 2000 had risen significantly in three sectors, but Agriculture still highest, peaked at 3000km3, while Industrial use had risen under 2000km3, only about 1200km3 and Domestic use is the lowest sector, had risen slowly approximately 500km3.  
  
In the year 2000, the population in Brazil and Congo were 176 million and 5.2 million respectively. So the water consumption per person in Brazil is higher than in Congo, at 359m3 and 8m3 respectively. This could be explained by the fact that Brazil had 265 times more than Congo in irrigated land.  
  
*
The summary is not a complete overview of the image. Only one of the 2 image types has been described. While only water consumption in 2 countries was given a short form statement. The second image representation is not touched on at all. It was not even part of the trending paragraph. Yet, It is included as a reference in the discussion paragraphs.  
  
The writer has confused the image presentations in the whole essay. This creates a confusing and improper report. Due to the lack of analysis seperation, the essay does not deliver an accurate assessment of the data.  
  
The 2 reporting paragraphs must represent one image each . The individual report is what creates an understandable analysis. The lack of which will lead this essay to fail.
## The diagram demonstrates the production of making bricks for the building industry.

  
The process of producing bricks involves 7 main stages beginning with digging the clay and ending with delivering products.  
First of all, the clay is dig by the digger. All the clay is filtered through the metal grid and drop into the roller. In the next step, clay is mixed with sand and water. This mixture is cut in a wire cutter or put it in a mould to create a brick. The bricks are dried in drying oven between 24 to 48 hours. After drying stage, the bricks are putted in the kiln and kilned at moderate temperature from 200 to 980 Celsius degree. The temperature is high up from 870 to 1300 Celsius degree. And the manufacturers cooling the bricks with the cooling chamber within 48 to 72 hours. Last but not least, all the bricks are packaged and get delivered.
While the writer must be commended for his writing efforts, it must be pointed out that his process explanation does not meet the task 1 minimum writing standards. This description fell short of the following basic specifications:  
  
- The total word count must be 150 words or more, but never more than 200 words  
- The procedure must be summarized in one paragraph, then explained over 2 more paragraphs (3 paragraphs in total )  
  
Inability to deliver the starling requirements will result in early score deductions. When early deductions are applied, the essay normally does not achieve a passing score when the points are totalled.  
  
The writer has an understanding of the process but, cannot express himself in a properly written English sentence. Aside from the formatting error, there are mistakes in word usage and tense references, both of which deliver a great GRA deduction as well. It is difficult to envision this presentation as a high assessment writing piece.
*Please leave some comments on my writing. Thanks a lot!*  
  
## the percentage of water used for different purposes

  
  
As can be seen, the pie charts compare data on the differences in the proportion of water consumption for agricultural, domestic and industrial purposes in six continents of the world  
  
In general, water for agriculture accounted for the highest percentage in Asian areas, Africa and South America whereas in North America and Europe, water was mainly used for industrial purpose.  
  
To be more specific, the largest proportion of industrial water use can be observed in Central Asia with more than eight-tenths of the total water used. The proportion of industrial water use was lower than the numbers for household purpose with a gap of 2% in Africa and Central Asia and 9% in South America. South East Asia, however, presented the opposite with 12% for industry and only 7% for domestic use.  
  
In terms of North America and Europe, it is obvious that industry sector consumed the highest amount of water, constituting 48% and 53% respectively, Moreover, the water for agriculture in both continents was also larger than the figures of household use, which tripled in North America and more than doubled in Europe.  
  
*