dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
***In many countries today, people in cities prefer to live alone or in small family units rather than in large and extended family groups.***  
## Is this a positive or negative trend?

  
  
ESSAY  
In many places of the world, there is a citizen's phenomenon that they intend to live by themselves or in a nuclear family rather than live in a big family which includes several generations. From my point of view, both two perspectives are equal in their merits and demerits.  
  
To begin with, there are several compelling reasons which prove that living under the same roof with extended family is better than living with a small number of family members. For one thing, family members can spend more time together which stimulates their relationship. The more, the merrier, family members can gather together for meals or watch TV together after a hectic day. Therefore, grandchildren and offspring can understand more about their grandparents, as a result, they will be more close-knit with their seniors. Additionally, living with more people under a roof can assist to save on living expenses. There is no longer a financial burden if the accommodation budget can be cut off and the total electricity and water and service bills are declined moderately.  
  
On the other hand, living in an extended family can lead to several inconveniences and conflicts which are related to the generation gap and living conditions. First and foremost, the private time and place for members are reduced. Due to living in the city, the general living area of a family is restricted, thus maybe there are not enough private rooms for each individual. The consequence is people will be uncomfortable because of a lack of personal space. Furthermore, because of the generation gap, people can have distinct hobbies which have an uncomfortable influence on others. The younger generation are usually interested in some boisterous activities such as parties or karaoke which is an annoyance for older people. Thus, this divergence can lead to some inevitable conflicts that affect family relationships.  
  
To conclude, people in urban areas have a temporary habit of living alone or in a nuclear family instead of living in a big family for generations. Personally, these two statements are equal for its own benefits and drawbacks.
The essay does not respond in the expected format. The question provides for a single opinion option with a 2 paragraph defense reason presentation. It is not a comparative nor extent discussion, upon which this type of reasoning presentation would apply.  
  
The writer has misunderstood the question. Although a comprehensive response was provided what will prevent the awarding of a passing grade will be the incorrect response format. When an essay does not achieve the correct discussion requirements one cannot expect to receive a passing score.  
  
The exam taker's ability to respond and discuss as instructed in a single opinion essay is what is scored here. Saying both sides are correct when that is not a response option is both incorrect and a prompt deviation. Partial scores will be given where possible but these will not merit a passing final overall score.
## summarise the information from the plans

  
  
The two given plans illustrate how the ground floor of a museum looked like in 1990 and two decades later.  
  
Overall, there were significant changes in the twenty year period, with the repurposing of the archaeology gallery area and the addition of newer facilities to be the most striking features.  
  
In 1090, the ground floor of the museum consisted of an archaeology gallery and a local history room to the left of the entrance and the office, natural history room and the gift shop to the right. Additionally at the opposing side of the entrance were the stairs and a statue.  
  
The layout, however changed significantly by the 2010. The archaeology gallery, for starters, was replaced by the children's interactive zone and poster display area, both of which were sepearted by a wall. Furthermore, a café was added to the gift shop, resulting in a slight increase of its size. The reception counter and the statue were moved from the original locations, the former closer to the entrance and the latter more to the center. Finally, a lift was also installed between the café and and the natural history room.  
  
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The summarized information should contain all specific year references. Do not use alternative year references at this point since the information is still being laid out for the reader to understand. Do not make it a habit to continue using the class taught outline format for the summary presentation as these are mere learning tools but should be removed once one begins to write academically. The summary overview should be combined into one paragraph of 3-5 sentences. This is how one can gain a higher task accuracy score.  
  
Information accuracy was negatively affected by errors in the presentation that were overlooked by the miter. What does 1090 refer to? Such lack of writing review shows that the writer has run out of writing time during the test. He submitted a rough draft rather than final copy for scoring. Better time allotment is a must to avoid such errors.  
  
Paragraphs must be uniform in length. No paragraph can be comprised of 2 sentences. That is a non-academic presentation and will affect the C + C and GRA scores. All paragraphs must meet the 3-5 analytical sentence requirement.
## Ielts writting task 1 - Process

  
  
The given diagram illustrates the stages involed in the process of recyling plastics.  
Overall, there are essentially six stages of the bottles recyling , beginning with the buying, using and discarding of new bottles and ending with newly recycled products entering the market again. Meanwhile, the number of steps for bags and rubbish is halved compared to the bottles recyling.  
  
As can be seen from the diagram, in the first stage of the process, after people buy and use bottles, it is collected from anywhere such as shops, schools, residential areas,...In contrast, if the plastics are bag and rubbish, they will have only one destination which is landfill. Next, the collected bottles are transported to sorting house in order to sort bottles into recyclable and non-recyclable bottles. The next step is to drive the recyclable bottles to the processing plant, in this step the bottles are stored and cooked under the suitable condition for hours and hours. At the end of the process, newly recycled products are entered the market or shop again, ready to be sold.  
  
*   
*The diagram below shows the recycling process of plastics. Summarise the information by selecting an*
The given reference of a diagram should have been changed to a flow chart in the writer's interpretation. A change of wording from the original is expected as a part of vocabulary scoring considerations. Note that there are 2 manufacturing options presented which is why the flow chart description would be more accurate when considering the factual word meaning.  
  
An enumeneration of the possible manufacturing steps can and should be committed in the trending statement as the process should not be thoroughly outlined in this section. Clues and Vague references are acceptable in this section instead.  
  
A report cannot be based upon "As seen in ... " since the reader is presumed to not have a copy of the image. Describe or discuss immediately instead. A topic sentence / hook will work beat in this case.  
  
Punctuation marks cannot be used successively. The GRA score will be reduced because a comma and ellipses were used one after another in the presentation without words, phrases, or other thought gaps to justify its use. This is a highly common error among Asian students showing a clear lack of proper English sentence structuring lessons in their ESL classes.  
  
While the word count was met, the number of paragraphs was not correctly presented. Marks will be deducted for writing less than 3 paragraphs.
## **The diagram below shows how instant noodles are manufactured.**

  
*Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.*  
  
*Write at least 150 words.*  
  
*Answer:*  
The given picture depicts the manufacturing process for instant noodles. Overall, the entirely man-made operation includes 8 stages commencing with raw ingredients and finishing with packing for eventual consumption.  
  
The process of producing instant noodles begins in flour storage silos. The flour is transported and fed into a mixing machine, where it is combined with water and oil from another source. Following this stage, the resulting mixture is rolled out to form dough sheets before going through factory machinery to be separated into strips  
  
During the next stage, these dough strips are formed into compact " Noodles discs" which will be fried in oil and left to dry in the next step. Next, the fried noodles discs are ultimately arranged in cups with assorted vegetables and spices. The final part of the production process is to label and seal contents so that the finished cups of instant noodles are ready for sale.  
  
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The image is not simply a picture. The examiner will be looking for a more definitive identifier in relation to the image content. This is actually a procedural illustration or diagram. Always refer to the correct image name for accuracy scoring.  
  
A punctuation mark is missing in one of the paragraphs. Lack of punctuation usage will result in GRA deductions. The writer must make it a point to proofread the paper and fix any grammar and punctuation errors he might catch. He should also take the opportunity to fix any sentence structure problems he may find. Take the time to perfect the essay content for better scoring potential.  
  
It is important to write more than just the minimum word count. 152 words are not enough for the examiner to consider a higher than base passing score for each rubie section. Aim for 175 words next time for increased scoring possibilities through a deeper analytical or reporting presentation.
## Alcohol abuse is becoming more and more common nowadays in many countries.

  
***What are some of the problems associated with alcohol abuse? And what are some possible solutions?***  
  
In this day and age, alcohol abuse is becoming increasingly prevalent in a lot of nations. This essay will discuss both the consequences caused by excessive alcohol consumption and many measures to tackle this problem  
  
It is undeniable that alcohol dependence causes a number of negative impacts. Firstly, if people drink excessively frequently, the possibility is that they will suffer from alcohol-related mental disorders. Compared to those who rarely consume liquor, the alcoholics have unstable mental health. Despite the relaxing feeling the drinkers get after drinking, in the long run, alcohol can contribute to feelings of depression and anxiety, which decrease their life quality. Secondly, since numerous drunken people try to drive home after knocking off, they can cause serious traffic accidents, resulting in a rapid increase in the number of deaths due to excessive drinking reported every year. For instance, according to WHO, 40% of road crashes in Viet Nam are linked to overdrinking, which is an alarming rate for a developing country.  
  
Governments now should take steps to address this problem. The most practical solution to this problem is a government-sponsored awareness campaign. An effective advertising campaign could be warned of the dangers of alcohol abuse and the numerous benefits of a healthy lifestyle, and hopefully, raise awareness amongst the public. For example, the UK recently lobbied their citizens to shed some pounds every week by joining outdoor activities and this resulted in fewer people gathering at beer bars. Moreover, the government should inflate the tax on alcoholic drinks in order to discourage people from buying and consuming them. In many countries, alcoholic beverages are very affordable due to the low taxes, which leads the liquor to be widely accessible.  
  
In conclusion, excessive intake of alcohol causes lots of detrimental effects on not only our mental health but also our physical health. However, it can be addressed thanks to the collaboration between the government and members of the community.
The writers opinion in missing from the opening statement. It is important that he offers single sentence responses for each question asked as a part of the prompt restatement. Without the direct responses, his immediate opinion as required by the preliminary task accuracy score will be insufficient as he will have failed to depict his opinion and its basis. The essay could fall short of a preliminary passing score.  
  
Avoid consistently repeating the discussion questions. Provide direct topic responses as paragraph anchors instead. Repeating instructions does nothing for scoring considerations. Do not use slang terms such as  
  
knocking off  
either because this is an academic opinion paper. As such, everyday academic words should be used. Slang should only be used during informal writing.  
  
The discussion paragraphs are quite well developed. These are informative and well supported It is too bad that the reverse paraphrase conclusion was not as well presented to the reader.
## factors influencing a child's development

  
  
Opinions differ as to whether parents obviously play an important role in their child's development or social factors outside of the family are influencing the way that their child develops. Personally, i am in agreement with the latter view, eventhough the other one also shows positive aspects.  
  
There is no doubt that there are factors outside of the family that significantly impact to their children's development. For instance, there is television and the Internet. Children nowadays need to get more access to these than in the past, they will learn more languages and will be more influency with the language they learn and see things that will teach them about life. Friends also impact seriously on them, they will have more fun and be more friendly when thay have best friend, these bring to them many positive aspects but also negative action such as: smoking, taking drugs, drinking beers, etc...  
  
However, the family which has the most important impact to children. They spen most time of their life on their family, parents who bring them up and carefully take care of their child, they teach their child about social skills, life, etc....When children was a baby, who was teaching them how to walk the first step, how to say the first word and looked after them when thay was ill, it is absolutely the one who gave birth to children  
  
In conclusion, While some people believe that the main factors influencing a child's development nowadays are social factors outside of the family, it seems to me that parents who has the most important impact to the way that their child develops
Always use 2 sentences to present the separate public opinions. Try to mirror the original presentation at much as possible since the idea is to mimic the original presentation. The original is a 3 sentence paragraph presentation. The restatement should number the same so as to maintain task accuracy.  
  
Once you are in agreement with one side of the argument, that is the only aspect you should focus on. The discussion requires a single opinion statement. The next statement needs to be the reason why you disagree with the other side. That helps deliver the clear basis of your opinion. This current presentation may be considered somewhat complete in its current form.  
  
Kindly remember that the most effective way to discuss these views are by:  
1. Explaining the valid public reason for the opposing argument then, disproving that by presenting your opinion that disproves the valid public opinion.  
2. Explaining the reasons the public supports the 2nd pov. Strengthen the same with your personal opinion.  
  
Sprinkle the reasoning paragraphs with properly placed 3rd person and 1st person pronouns to meet the GRA requirement. The previously suggested response formats are the best and most proper way to gain the most scoring considerations overall.  
  
This piece of writing shows your potential to score well. Use the correct paragraph presentation and you should have better scoring considerations with the next essay.
@William David  
Not a professional but here are some tips.  
  
I think you have misused the word "influency".  
There is an a missing before "best friend".  
It is better to write " it is the family which has the more important...." in the first sentence of the first body paragraph.  
There are some spelling and punctuation mistakes too such as "spen" instead of spent.  
" Baby was children" is an incorrect statement.
## the impact of Katrina hurricane on florida area

  
  
In August 2005, a massive typhoon called Katrina destroyed the Southern United States, it crashed in New Orleans the biggest city in Florida, causing huge losses to the economy and human lives. New Orleans Levee system including Industrial Canal, Lake Borgne, and Lake Pontchartrain was fully overloaded. By the afternoon of August 29, nearly 20 percent of the city was submerged and 80 percent was underwater by the day after. According to Britannica's report, the hurricane killed more than 1,800 people, cost 160 billion US dollars and it directly decreases the population of New Orleans fell by 29 percent from 2005 to 2011. The damage of Hurricane Katrina devastated seriously the economy of the United States, especially in the Florida States; forcing millions of people to fall into homelessness, and lack food and clean water.
The information provided should be more complete. Mention all the areas affected in the Southern United States by degree of effect. Make New Orleans a special mention because it was the most devastated by the hurricane. correct the description from a typhoon to a hurricane since the latter is the correct term for the weather disturbance that occurred. Also, the hurricane "landed" rather than "crashed" since the storm made "landfall" at the time. The levee and canals were destroyed rather than overloaded. These all crumbled under the heavy rainfall conditions. Watch out for incorrect tense presentations. Do not use current tenses. These all need to be in past tense based on the year the event happened. Florida is a state.There are no states within Florida. The state system of the U.S. does not work that way. Florida States is incorrect terminology,
***Many people like to eat unhealthy food even though they know it's bad for them.***  
## Why? What are the most effective ways to improve people's eating habits?

  
  
Many individuals tend to consume food that is not good for their health despite knowing its adverse effects. In this essay, I will discuss that being tastier is the main reason why unhealthy food is consumed as much. Furthermore, making healthy food more accessible and increasing awareness about hazardous effects of junk food are the best methods of making people's eating habits better.  
  
People eat unhealthy and junk food because it tastes much better. This is because there is excessive amount of salt and oil, which is what threatens our health, in this type of food. These ingredients stimulate our taste buds more than other types of food and makes us conusme more of it. Fast food such as burgers and pizzas, for instance, have large amount of oil and salt among other ingredients, which makes them tastier and so popular. Thus, the tastier the food is, the more likely it is to be consumed more.  
  
Nevertheless, there are two methods that can help improve eating habits of people. Making healthy food cheaper and more accessible is the first method. People buy junk food because healthy food such as fresh vegetables and fruits are often priced much higher than their unhealthy counterparts. In America, for example a burger is around two dollars, while a dozen of bananas are more than five dollars. Thus, currently people can feed themselves on much less if they only bought junk food. Additionally, increasing awareness about the adverse effects of junk food can also help. People often underestimate the hazardous effects of unhealthy food. In other words, they think junk food might only make them fatter. Hence, it is necessay to make people aware of the actual adverse effects, specifically obesity and caridac problems among others, through advertisements or public campaigns.  
  
In conclusion, people eat junk food despite its dangers to the human health due to better taste. Moreover, making people more aware and making healthy food more accessible are the best methods of curbing people's eating habits.
This essay contains a very well developed paraphrasing and highly informative opinion statement. Both of which will help increase the preliminary score of this discussion.  
  
The writer shows a clear grasp of the reasoning expectations and shows an ability to discuss these as needed. While his discussions are clear, he may want to consider the use of more linking references in the discussions. He should also avoid stating: "For example", since the mention of the reference already indicates that.  
  
Avoid the use of placement holder words and other commonly used linking phrases like "in other words" as these are seen as memorized phrases learned in IELTS review classes. Develop more original representations.  
  
The writer has done a passing job with this presentation. Just note the above observations for additional improvement going forward.
## spending on mobile phones and landline services

  
  
I have written this writing task 1 in IELTS, but wondering whether there are any faults or things I need to improve. My target within 6 months is to achieve 7.0-8.0 in writing task 1. I really appreciate your help! Thank you!  
  
The graph illustrates the average yearly spending on mobile phone, national and overseas landline services in a period between 2001 and 2010. The units are measured in dollars.  
  
The graph illustrates the average yearly spending on mobile phone, national and overseas landline services in a period between 2001 and 2010. The units are measured in dollars.  
  
In common, the annual expenditure of national fixed-line services experienced a downward trend while the opposite was true for cellular phone spending. Also, the figure of overseas landline services was relatively stable during the period.  
  
As regards the first year of the period, the yearly national landline payment was ranked as the highest among other services with $700. However, in 2006, its figure dropped considerably by roughly $200 which equaled the annual handphone spending. Since consumers gradually spent more for mobile phones in the following 4 years, its expenditure grew significantly from $200 to $500. Meanwhile, the international fixed-line consumption increased incrementally from around $250 to roughly $320 before declining by $20 in 2004. Then, it remained stable at 300$ until the fifth year of the period.  
  
In 2006, domestic landline services became less popular with a drop of $100 in its annual spending. On the contrary, cell phones were increasingly consumed which induced its payment to rise from $500 to over $700. Additionally, the amount of money paid for overseas fixed-line services was unchanged with around $300 throughout.