dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
## advantages and disadvantages of taking a gap year

  
  
***It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going to university.  
What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?***  
  
Nowadays, many high school graduates opt for a gap year instead of continuing higher education right away. For many, a year off offers them more time to prepare for university and find the suitable field they want to pursue. However, others argue that a year out may result in being left behind and is a waste of time. In this essay, I will discuss the opportunities it offers as well as challenges students have to face with.  
  
Let's start by looking at the advantage of a drop year. One of the main benefits graduates gain from a gap year is that they have more time to make thorough preparation for university, especially students want to study abroad and hunt for scholarship. They can spend a year long participating in community projects, taking international certificates and improving their CVs and essay. In fact, many students taking a gap year have been awarded a full-ride scholarship. Another significant advantage is that when taking a break from school, a teenager can broaden his/her real-life experience; therefore, they know what career is apt for themselves and are able to make the most suitable choice for the field they want to pursue in college, compared to many who don't know what to study in university and just pick one randomly.  
  
Turning to the other side of the argument, one of the biggest obstacles to be overcome is being left behind and starting later. In many cases, the students taking a gap year may still study at campus while their peers have already got a job or promotion. Another major drawback is that a spare year may become a waste year if we don't meticulously plan work beforehand which can result in profound regret later on. Therefore, it becomes harder to continue studying or get a job if you don't attend any special activities or sharpen your skills during the year.  
  
In conclusion, while it is very wonderful to have a year off after having studied for 12 years successively, this time can also pose considerable risks if we are not ready for it.
In general, I think your essay is quite good. However, there are some minor mistakes that need correcting:  
\_ Do not use abbreviation ( Let's -> Let us )  
\_ I think the phrase should be " especially students WHO want to study ...", so that it makes more sense.  
  
\_ Some of the words are repeated in the 2nd paragraph(students , advantage -> merit)  
Anyway, you did a great job! Go on with the hard work and better your skills!
When you write the paraphrase, do not include information that is not included in the original prompt. I understand that those are the reasons you will be discussing in the reasoning paragraphs. However, you are scored on the accuracy of your restatement so it is best for you to state the reasons at the end of the paraphrase instead. That is where the outline goes in this presentation.  
  
You should limit your presentation to no more than 290 words. With 40 minutes to write the essay, and knowing that the score will be based on quality and accuracy rather than length, you are not helping yourself by over writing in the essay. There are errors in the GRA section that you could jave corrected if you focused on the proper scoring requirements for the essay.  
  
Do not use words and English phrases if you are not familiar w I think it. The term is gap year, not drop year.  
  
The conclusion is incomplete in formatting. This is a 3-5 sentence presentation. You dk not have a proper recap of the prompt and discussion requirements.
## (IELTS WRITING TASK 1) Export earnings

  
  
The bar chart below provides the number of a country's exports in a different category and the box demonstrates the proportion change in each type of exports compared in two years.  
  
Generally, petroleum products and engineered goods were creating more value compared with others. Interestingly, only gems and jewellery was recording a fall in number out of all types.  
  
In terms of petroleum products, it rose 3% in a year meanwhile engineered goods increased by 8.5%. They were both received 62 billion of earnings. By contrast, gems and jewellery was following by 41 billion when agricultural and products along with textiles were at the bottom of the table.  
  
About the special part, gems and jewellery decreased from 44 to 41 billion which was representing 5.18% of it. On the other hand, the lowest growth of earning belonged to agricultural products of 0.81% while textiles climbed the most by 15.24% in 2016.  
  
*   
*Question*
Try to write at least 175 words for the data reporting presentation. 151 words meets the minimum word requirement but it will not really help increase your overall score. Focus on your vocabulary, punctuation usage, and grammar use in this section to help increase the word count and scoring.  
  
The other image was misidentified in your presentation. Be precise. The second image is a 2 column information presentation. Being precise increases your TA score.  
  
Always present the measurement type for each image. This will help show that you actually analyzed the data and noted b important information for the discussion presentation. A lack of incomplete summary data presentation shows a lack of analytical ability on your part and could affect your overall score.  
  
While the information presented is okay, it would have been clearer to the reader and given you a better overall score if you had followed the 3-5 sentence format for the 3 paragraphs. That is because the clarity and cohesion in the presentation would have been more evident to the examiner. You would have also used more GRA related sentences and punctuation marks which would have been another scoring boost for you.
## success of advertising

  
  
**Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both view and give your own opinion.**  
  
Nowadays, while some people acknowledge a success of advertising in apealing to buyers, others deny this because commercials are becoming too common. I will discuss these behaviours and give my opinion on this essay.  
  
People admit to a wonderful success of advertising because the quality of commercials is being in a higher level. In other words, consumers are being persuaded by high-quality advertisements rather than a real quality of goods for shopping. For example, on TV commercial breaks, watchers are easily attracted by contents and visual effects of those advertisements, which make people will splurge on those products.  
  
However, others disagree with this success because a range of ideas used for advertisements is more and more similar. Obviously, people will not pay attention to what an advertisement is showing if there is no difference on the content compared to others. This can lead to a sense of boredom due to the repetition. For example, when a commercial attracts many viewers, there will be numerous versions after that, which leads to a poor attraction of the advertising on some people.  
  
In my opinion, the advertising is still powerful in attracting shoppers because they are more and more amusing. They are not only normal advertisements which advertises products, but also tools to convey a source of inspiration and meaningful stories to watchers. For instance, some advertisers call for a protection on our environment on their advertisements, as a way to persuade the public buying the products.  
  
In conclusion, while some people disclam an influence of advertising due to its repetition, others and I believe that an advertising industry is in the successful period through its attraction.
You did very good work on this essay. You properly discussed both points of view with clear explanations and reasons. Though the grammar was not perfect. Your message came across without confusing the reader. It is also important to note that you prpvided excellent gender free pronoun usage in the essay. That will definitely boost your GRA score.  
  
Positives aside, you could have improved the essay in a few places. In the restatement, you could have provided at least one more sentence to help achieve the 3 sentence minimum per paragraph. Your examples could have used one more persuading sentence after its presentation as well, just to help reiterate your point.  
  
Regardless, this is still a good attempt at a comparative reason plus personal opinion essay. You definitely show the potential to score highly in the future. Keep practicing. You have potential as a future a student in an English university.
*Hi guys, this is my essay. Thanks for taking a look at it. Much appreciated!*  
  
***Advertising is all around us; it is an unavoidable part of everyone's life. Some people say that advertising is a positive part of our lives.***  
  
## To what extent do you agree or disagree?

  
  
In this modern day and age, it is undoubted that advertising is dominant and becoming an everyday thing. Some people consider this as an upside of life. I totally agree with this for the reason that it is advantageous to both consumers and producers.  
  
In terms of consumers, they are likely to have detailed information about products, which allows them to make comparisons between products they are wondering about. Thus they would be able to find the best deals. Beside that, advertising also acts as a form of entertainment. Since there is a growing competitiveness between brands, companies are trying to boost their attractiveness by applying entertaining effects on ads to catch consumers' attention. Thus, viewers are more likely to enjoy advertisements to unwind and lift their mood up. For example, while getting stressed from online study, I am often able to release my stress by running into adverts with engaging songs and singing along.  
  
In terms of producers, advertising does bring them a couple of benefits. Firstly, advertising means closer approaches to buyers which in turn increases sales and profits. Consequently, this not only does good to companies but also helps shape a stronger economy. Secondly, as the process of promoting products requires a lot of labor, it would lead to higher recruitment for jobs. For instance, because the advertising industry, these days, is on a dramatic development to meet demands for products than ever before, various job positions such as copywriter or illustrator are overflowing on the job market with lucrative salaries. As a result, job seekers can hunt for jobs that comfortably suit them and earn an excessive amount of money.  
  
Looking back, it is my firm belief and agreement with those who say that owing to advertising, our lives can benefit much greater.  
  
(297 words)
Avoid often used phrases such as "In this modern day and age". It comes across as a memorized phrase to the examiner. Do not use the word "undoubtedly" either as the essay is asking you to discuss an opinion about the opinion presented. That means, there are doubts about the discussion since there are 2 points of view about it. You are offering a matter of fact opinion when in actuality, there are only discussion opinions and no proven side.  
  
Your 1st reasoning paragraph is under developed. Well, the first part is under developed but the 2nd part is fully developed. You should have removed the first reason because you were not properly able to defend that opinion. This is why I always ask the student to use only 1 topic per paragraph. It is difficult to fully develop 2 reasons in one paragraph within 5 sentences. You can only successfully develop one reason per paragraph unless you know how to properly connect the discussion using transition sentences in the paragraph. The same situation occurred in the 2nd reasoning paragraph as well.  
  
Your recap is incorrect. You did not properly summarize the discussion points. Those need to be restated in that section to properly conclude the essay based upon the expected format.
## The chart below provides information on the production and consumption of electricity for ten countries in 2014.

  
  
Generally, China and the United States owned the most usage of electricity in the world. By contrast, Germany is the only country that consumed more electricity than its produce. And the countries that have the biggest and the least amount of differences in their production and consumption are the United States and Russia.  
  
In terms of production, China and the United States produce 5398 and 4099 billion kWh respectively which represents about 60% overall in the top ten countries. In terms of consumption, China and the United States consume 5322 and 3866 billion kWh of electricity respectively which means 65% of the amount in the top ten countries.  
  
As mentioned, the only country that has more consumption than its production in electricity is Germany which has 526.6 billion kWh and 582.5 billion kWh in the production section and consumption section.  
  
Lastly, talking about the largest and smallest difference between production and consumption in one country, the country that has the largest difference is the United States which is 233 billion kWh. On the other hand, the country that has the smallest difference is Russia which is 19 billion kWh.  
  
*
You should try to present a consolidated report of the bar chart. This would lead to a shorter and more concise report on your part. All you have to do is complete 3 paragraphs composed of:  
  
Par. 1: Summary overview + trending statement  
Par. 2: Comparison of first 5 countries  
Par. 3: Comparison of last 5 countries.  
  
Your summary overview is severely lacking in presentation. Aside from the rundown of the 10 countries, you forgot to mention the measurements used which are production and consumption, based on billions per KWH. The presentation of that information would have helped you create a faster reporting for the next 2 paragraphs.  
  
You cannot use the conjunction "and" to start a sentence as it is used to coordinate the words used in a sentence. It is a connecting word. There is nothing to connect at the start of a sentence so it doesn't make sense to use it at the start of a sentence.  
  
The essay can be shortened and given more focused information presentations. You tend to keep repeating the words China and the United States. You did not really represent the other countries well enough in the discussion. Next time, try to format the essay properly so that you can mention all the required elements in specific paragraphs.
## Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

  
***It is better to have broad knowledge of many academic subjects than to specialize in one specific subject. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.***  
  
With the development of modern society, education problems have never been more important than before. One specific argument has raised that whether students should be educated with a vast combination of subjects or only one subject with depth. From my personal perspective, I agree with the latter opinion more.  
  
It is true that people, especially children should get access to a wide range of subjects to make sure they have comprehensive and objective knowledge towards the world. That's what elementary schools do, like their names. Having broad and extensive basic knowledge is like constructing the foundation of a building. The necessity of learning basic knowledge should not be ignored.  
  
However, it's the academic subjects instead of common knowledge we are talking about. When things get professional, specializing in one subject will let people be able to make more essential progress. For instance, in the medical field, it's always more difficult to become a doctor who experts in a certain area than a general practitioner. Because the former needs more time and energy digging deep in a cutting-edge topic after having general knowledge of medicine. And the extreme miscellaneous diseases are all solved by those experts. They spent years focusing on solving only one problem with extreme concentration. Only through this way can we make essential medical advancements.  
  
Besides, education is a lifelong topic. In early life, many people probably have the experience of having a least favorite subject in school. And usually it's the same one as their worst-performanced subject since interest is the best teacher. Normally what people received is general education before entering universities. By making contact with various subjects, people will be able to find their own interests, what they are truly good at and have the passion in eventually. When reaching this point, it's clearly wiser to stick to one certain subject and make it a specialty instead of learning various subjects aimlessly. After all, what I understand of education is to help people determine where their talents lay and encourage them to fully develop it as their unique expertise.  
  
Therefore, combining all the above mentioned reasons, I reinforce my standpoint that focusing on a specific subject is better. It'll more likely make people be beneficial to the society since the energy of a person is limited. The majority of people can only become a master in a very narrow field. Under most circumstances, know-it-all means knowing nothing.
You have written 402 words but only 126 words are actually applicable to the prompt discussion. These relevant discussion points are located in paragraph 4. The first 3 paragraphs are only extended introductions to the topic being discussed. That does not bode well for your essay. You should have started with the content of paragraph 4 and then expanded upon that discussion in another paragraph so that you could have responded directly and relevantly to the given discussion.  
  
There is a big difference between the IELTS Task 2 and TOEFL discussion essay. The former requires a prompt restatement before your response to the prompt. The latter, simply requires you to immediately discuss your response in reference to the given discussion topic. The TOEFL exam asks you to be direct in your information presentation. Just like the IELTS Task 2 test, it asks you to use your personal knowledge and examples to support your response.  
  
The essay asks you to consider the early part of education, from elementary to high school. Not the specialized part in college. The broad knowledge discussion is applicable only to the part where the student still has options and choices for their future college education. By having a broad exposure to subjects, they can have educated and better choices for their focused education time.
In the past people used to wear their traditional clothes depending on their culture. Nowadays the trend is changing and people wear different clothes. Is it a positive or negative development? How does it affect certain societies and people's behavior?  
  
Some people enunciate the idea that wearing diversity of outfit from different culture is a revolutionary progress. I totally concur with this opinion because of the benefits it can bring us by affecting the economy and bringing certain value to people's life.  
  
Due to the fact that each individual can wear different attire with variety of decorative texture and material, they can express their own personality and fashion taste. Human was given the ability to use various emotions by using their face muscle, clothing also has the same influence. By having the right to choose their favorite clothes, human society could be much jollier with many characteristic and feature. People could understand others better and spreading contagious energy. Take me as an example, when I'm participating in activities ,it would be much more confident and comfortable for me to wear clothes that fit my body and personality.  
  
It is obvious that clothing has an intimate connection with human society, specifically economy. As can be seen, fashion play and important role in economic growth, which create many jobs for employees, fashionistas, with millions of units around the world and contribute thousands of millions of dollars to economy. As people started to afford trendy fashionable clothes, this department will continue to expand and therefore, makes huge difference to the market. From my point of view, what people wear doesn't really related to their behavior, maybe it just took them more time in order to decide what to wear.  
  
In conclusion, I totally recognize the positive aspect of wearing different clothes.  
It would be great if you can give me an overall band score.Thanks!
Overall Band Scoring is reserved for our private consultation and URGENT services. You may contact us via our email located in our homepage for details regarding the advanced review services.  
  
Your essay is totally off base. It is not related to the given questions at all. There are 3 specific questions that require a response, which means you should be writing a 5 paragraph essay. The discussion paragraphs are as follows:  
  
Par. 2: Is it a positive or negative development? Use your personal opinion. Pick one side. Explain.  
Par. 3: How does it affect society? Response is based on your positive or negative development opinion. Support the discussion in paragraph 2.  
Par. 4: How does it affect people's behavior? Positive or negative? Why? Use examples from your experience or public knowledge.  
  
You have to make sure to address all of the questions posed in the essay. The questions are what dictate the number of paragraphs that you will be writing.  
  
In your concluding statement, you should restate the prompt, your response to the questions, and a closing sentence. It should be at least 3 sentences to complete a minimal paragraph presentation.
## (IELTS TASK 2) TOPIC: EDUCATION

  
  
**Some people believe that school children should not be given homework by their teachers, whereas others argue that homework plays an important role in the education of children. Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion.**  
  
Although many people believe that teacher should not give students exercises at home, others are of the opinion that homework has an essential part in the education of children. Personally, both sides of the statement should be taken into consideration for multiple reasons listed below.  
  
With regard to giving children homework, people believe it is not acceptable for many reasons. On top of that, homework may become an invisible burden for children. After a long day at school, students are under pressure due to learning knowledge from teachers' lessons and taking exams. Therefore, they need time to relax and refresh their mind for the next day. In addition, students could lack time for other recreational things such as outdoor activities or spending time with their family. For instance, too much homework from school makes them stay at home to deal with instead of contributing their physical health by taking part in sports.  
  
However, I do not think these arguments stand up to scrutiny as I am of the opinion that doing homework results in many benefits for student's education. Firstly, doing homework can create their independent learning and problem-solving skill. They have to solve with difficulty alone without the support from teachers and friends. Moreover, they could consolidate and have an in-depth understanding of what they have learned at school. Another point worth mentioning is that completing homework in time would establish children's responsibility for tasks they received. It is a good habit to finish tasks or work before the deadline and avoid laziness. This would be useful for their prospective career.  
  
To sum up, there are strong arguments for and against giving homework for children. As has been outlined above, there are certainly cons to this action. Nevertheless, I maintain my original position is that homework has a positive impact on children.  
  
Could you give me some comments for my IELTS writing, please? Which band can I get?  
Thank you