dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
Hello Dioba,  
  
Rita Pierson, a teacher, has spent her entire life ...  
She ~~is~~~~come~~ came from educator familie...  
Some of those changes have been good but some of them have been bad. [**avoid repetion word**] She argued ~~that~~ about poverty, low attendance ...  
She was regret~~s~~ (need past tense), why people ...  
In addition , ~~She~~ she also said quotes (...) relationship will be affected to zero significant learning.  
  
NB: pay attention to repetition word and tenses  
  
hope these help
Hello Dioba,  
Here some inputs for you.  
  
She ~~is~~ come from educator ~~families~~*FAMILY*, both of her parents are teacher. She *HAS* taught since 4 decades ago. So*THEREFORE* she can look at education ...  
  
Some of those changes have been good but *ONLY* some of them have been bad *unclear sentence* .  
... and negative influences are the *MOST* common reasons ~~of the kids~~*CAUSED CHILDREN* drop out.  
... people never discuss ~~about~~*REGARDING* the value and ...  
Furthermore, she told about her *TAUGHT* journey ~~taught~~ in which low academically class.  
  
**Good Luck!**
Hello Dioba, I want to you obtain my suggestion for your essay, here we go:  
  
... entire life either the school-house or the way to the schoolhouse.  
  
you should use "-" to combine two words as one word has one meaning.  
  
She is come from educator families , both of her ...  
  
be careful with verb plus "s/es" which depends on subject.  
  
... left a legacy of relationships that could never lost.  
  
please becareful with your essay and repeat words, do not use too many repeat words. you can reducing or use adverbial clause.  
  
note: keep writing and go ahead.
WHY BIRD NEVER COLLIDE IN FLIGHT  
  
The new finding, birds can avoid crahsing in flight, based on research they are have preference to veering right. In several observation with more sample birds who releas together in same time and same location, the result they are not collide each other. On the other hand they are flight different hight each others. Those behavior are duplicate to drone. The drone be equiped sensors to avoid hitting others object. In conclusion bird have unique behavior who can mantain each other in flight by coloni.
Hi Bams  
Let me give you some advice...  
  
The new finding, birds can avoid ~~crahsing~~ (crashing) in flight, based on research (...) sample birds who ~~releas~~(realesed) together in same (...), the result they ~~are~~(do) not collide each other.  
  
... flight different hight (height) each others. Those ~~behavior~~(behaviour) are duplicate to drone. The drone be ~~equiped~~(equipped) sensors to avoid ...  
... behavior who can ~~mantain~~(maintain) each other in flight by ~~coloni~~(colony).  
  
1.Your summary is too short  
2.Many misspell word  
  
1.You must write at least 150 words  
2. Make sure to double-checked your writing and search in dictionary  
Thank you...
Hello Bams14  
There are some advice from me, attract your attention if you wish  
  
birds can avoid crahsing in flight  
**.... crashing**  
  
they are have preference to veer~~ing~~ right  
**.....to make *to infinitive*, have to combine between *to* and *verb bare infinitive* (veer)**  
  
sample birds who releas(ed) together in same time  
**.... who released**
In the near future,the plan of Nasa will despatch the thousand of people come to Mars. After months of anticipation ,space CEO Elon Musk has at least revealed his plan for making human a multiplanetary species by sending crews to Mars and beyond.Still,things have not been entirely smooth sailing for space X,with recent launch pad explosion potentially casting the shadow on their Mars ambitions,And keep in mind that when it comes to human missions to Mars , the vision's have been in the works for quite a while the last 70 years straight.The delay is at least in part technical.A trip to the red planet is like visiting an even more inhospitable Antartica,and its unbreathable atmosphere is less than two percent of what you had find at Everest's summit. Never mind the fact that you have to fly at least a year,round-trip,to get there in the first place.
Hello Bismilah  
There are some advice from me  
  
After months?????? of anticipation  
**...... i think you mean is MOON**  
  
least revealed *his* plan for making human ...  
**.... who his? you have to mention his name before you change with pronoun**  
  
things have not been entirely smooth ...  
**.... what things??? you have to explain clearly before**  
  
the vision's have been in the works  
**.....there is no explain about vision in your essay**  
  
the works for quite a while the last 70  
**......article (a)????? for what???**
The table represents information about percentage of pupils attending four secondary school types between 2000 and 2009. Overall, specialist schools, grammar schools and voluntary-controlled schools are programs in which gradually during 9 years. It is importance to notice that only community schools were increased dramatically. Between 2000 and 2009, grammar schools and specialist schools are decreased. Both of them fell from 12 percent to one in ten and from less than a quarter to 12 percent. Furthermore, specialist schools decreased gradually by 1 percent in each 2005 and 2009. At the same time, voluntary-controlled decreased dramatically from approximately a half to one-fifth. On the contrary, community schools always increase dramatically from 12 percent in 2000 to more than a half in 2009.  
  
*
HI DIOBA,  
I HAVE READ YOUR WRITING,,, HOWEVER, THIS WRITING SEEMS CONFUSING TO ME  
  
... of pupils attending four DIFFERENT secondary school ~~types~~ between 2000 and 2009.  
~~It is importance to notice that~~ IN ANY CASE ,only community schools ... ( THIS ISPRETTY CONFUSING TO ME AS YOU WRITE MORE THAN 1 VERB SIMULTANEOUSLY , WERE AND INCREASED,,,,===> MY ALTERNATIVE only community schools increased dramatically  
  
... schools and specialist schools ~~are~~ decreased EMPHASIZE THE INCREASE WITH ADVERB SUCH AS SIGNIFICANTLY AND SO ON . HOWEVER, Both of them fell from 12 percent ...  
~~At the same time,~~ voluntary-controlled decreased dramatically ...  
... schools always increaseD dramatically from 12 percent ...  
  
important note  
**ensure you write at least 150 words**  
ATTEMPT TO UTILIZE COMPARISON  
VARY YOUR LEXICAL RESOURCE,  
E.G : INSTEAD OF WRITING *INCREASE* FOR MANY TIMES, MUCH BETTER IF YOU TRY TO LOOK FOR OTHER WORDS SUCH AS *ESCALATE, INCLINE, RISE AND SO ON*  
  
VARY YOUR SENTENCE BY USING CLAUSE  
VARY YOUR TENSES USE SUCH AS *PAST AND PERFECT* AND *PAY ATTENTION ON THE USAGE OF TENSES*
How do birds avoid crashing into each other now isn't mystery again, Manydam Srinivasan, a scientist at University of Queensland Australia and his colleagues uncovered the simple trick when filming pairs of budgerigars flying towards each other in a narrow tunnel. Manydam stated that group hierarchy may determine which bird moves up and which moves down. Dominant bird tends to fly lower and probably because of more energy efficient and easier to go lower than fly higher, so the non-dominant bird forced to gain altitude.  
  
Actually, this knowledge can provide inspiration for anti-collision systems in drones. Once the technology becomes available, drones have an ability to communicate with each other and to veer right when they encounter one another became a straightforward strategy to reduce collisions. But scientist still developing technology solutions that can achieve what birds do naturally
Hello Yonathan,  
  
... into each other now ~~isn't~~ is not mystery again, ...  
Manydam stated that this group hierarchy (...) moves up and ~~which~~ moves down. (double conjuction words)  
  
... available, drones have ~~an~~ ability to communicate with each other ...  
But scientist are still developing technology solutions that it can achieve what ...  
  
more attention to your conjuction word  
  
hope these help
**MONTH IS AMERICAN DREAM**  
  
The lifes that quietly play out under the scream af headlines.In fact ,for the first time in American history,the majority of parents do not think that their kids will be better off than they were.This true is rich and poor,men and women.After all, America is deeply invested in this idea of economic transcendence,that every generation kind of leapfrogs and the one before it,earning more,buying more and being more.Media per capita income has been flat since about 2000,adjusted for inflanation.Nearly five million people lost their homes in the Great Recession,and even more of us sobered up about the lengths we were willing to go or be tricked into going ,in many predatory cases to hold that deed.Toll the funeral bells for everything that made American great.We can turn inward,lose faith in the power of institutions to change,even lose faith in ourselves or we can turn outward.The biggest danger is achieving a dream
Nowadays, people is extremely interesting in all event relating to the moon such as harvest moons, super moons, total eclipses, etc. Because of lunar event draws people attention through photos in internet. On 30 September, people from Western hemisphere experienced another lunar name, black moon, that popularly explained as second new moon in a month. This happens because moon surface that is illuminated by sunlight stay away from the Earth. So, Moon side seen completely black shadow from Earth. Actually, It can not be watched like any other new moon. Black Moon will be seen from Eastern hemisphere on October 30. For people who live in East Asia, Japan, New Zealand, and Australia, could be seen on October 31, appropriate with Spooky day, Hallowen.
Hi Trisna  
let me give you some advice...  
  
Nowadays, people is extremely ~~interesting~~(interested) in all event (...) such as harvest ~~moons~~(moon) , super ~~moons~~(moon) , total eclipses, etc.  
... attention through photos ~~in~~(on) internet.  
... that popularly explained as (a) second new moon in a month.  
So, Moon side(has) seen completely black ..  
... appropriate with Spooky day, (the) Hallowen.  
  
Thank you...
Hi, Sari Trisna  
  
I would give you some corrections for your essay  
  
1. Nowadays, people is extremely ~~interesting~~ (interested ) in all event (...) as harvest moons, ~~super moons~~ (supermoons ), total eclipses, etc  
2. ... people attention through ~~photos in~~ (photos on ) ~~internet~~ (the internet )  
3. So, Moon side ~~seen~~ (saw ) completely black shadow from Earth  
4. appropriate with Spooky day, ~~Hallowen~~ (Hallowen )  
  
Thank you
HOW TO LEARN AN LANGUAGE IN SIX MONTH  
  
Speaker at TED talked about learn the second language they said this is hard to several people. Many methods in the world to study foreign languages. That is about psychology, effort and industry. How to can normal learn second language quickly and efectively? It is big question everyone who want learn other language. According to the speaker everybody can belonging stranger language only six month, the progress about spending more time to focus. To illustrates heavy stuff doesnt fly, a plane cannot flight if more load but cars can fly with technology and they do not have big loads. This is Same logical to human, they are need strategy, organizing material and feel happy to study.  
  
To make efectively learn speaker gave five principle those are:  
1 .Focus on Languages, the problem of several people is not focus at one languages, they are always use first language every days. Focusing to one language during six month it will make easy learner.  
  
2 Tools of learner, in this case is practice and adaptaion, learner should practice the new languages every time, every days, and every moment and adaptation whit it.  
  
3. Understanding the mesage first. Understanding is crucial point to learner, understanding can do with body languages, observe or listening.  
  
4. Language is not about knowledge but psicological training.It Is not about knowledge which must spend more time to reading science book, observation, writing an article but it is about training, so learner should more exercise speaking, listening and adaptation.  
  
5. Make it happy,do not frustation and stress, make the process study to happy and fun.  
  
Not only above but also there are seven rapid action to get new languages, those are:  
1. Listen Alot  
2. Get the meaning first, body language  
3.Use patern already know, start mixing  
4. Focus in the core  
5.Glue words complex meaning,  
6. Get language parent  
7. Direct to conect to mental image  
All in all, people can learn more language in six month with those strategy, to require more exercise, strive, and spend more time learn.
Hi, BAMS14  
  
I would give you corrections for your essay  
  
1. Speaker at TED talked ~~about~~ (about to ) learn the second language they ...  
2. That is about psychology, ~~effort~~ (effort, ) and industry  
3. How to can ~~normal~~ (normally ) learn  
4. ~~second~~ (the second ) language  
5. quickly and ~~efectively~~ (effectivelly )?  
6. It is ~~big~~ (big to ) question everyone  
7. who ~~want~~ (wants ) learn  
8. ~~other language~~ (another language )  
9. According to the ~~speaker~~ (speaker, )  
10. everybody can ~~belonging~~ (belong ) stranger language  
11. only six ~~month~~ (months ), the progress about ...  
12. To illustrates heavy stuff ~~doesnt~~ (does not ) fly, a plane cannot flight ...  
13. This is Same logical to human, they ~~are need~~ (need ) strategy, organizing ...  
  
Thank you
After reading your summary,i have some advice,perhaps useful for you.Keep writing!  
1. ... talked about learn the second language. they said this is hard ...-----> you must put dot after "language" to make this sentence clearly.  
  
2. wrong spelling words.  
~~efectively~~ -----> effectively  
only six ~~month~~ ------> months  
~~strategy-~~ ----> strategies  
~~doesnt~~ -----> does not  
~~patern~~ -----> pattern  
~~psicological~~ -----> psychological  
3. According to the speaker everybody can belonging stranger language only six month, the progress ...------> remember, put dot after "speaker" to make the sentence clearly
Anatomy especially human anatomy is one of many subjects in medical aspect that we can be focused. This can describe how our organs work to healthy connection between ourselves and our bodies. But until today, many people do not know the location of their vital organs, or even how they function. Because human anatomy is a difficult and needs time-intensive subject to learn. But, there are some artists who combined between human anatomy and art. Those paint and draw the medical illustration by perpective of illustrator into the beauty of the human skin. The technique was balanced between the technique and a beautiful concept. Actually, it exist in the past, but would be more famous with some new art-touch. It can important to understand how art influenced anatomy and give benefit for medical education precisely in the future.
The sophisticated technology comes from Medical prespective which has been developed through Ink which can construct 3D-print flexibe bone. This will be implanted inside the body to substitute particular bone painless to be fixed in size. forthere, this manufacture-based bone provides many marits including adaptable, giving surgeons a cheap and effective in brisk healing.  
  
Either way, this material is rather frigile because during the treatment or surgical operation it sometimes can be crack and deteriorated, unfortunately i can not to be remodelled during which.  
  
Ramille shah and her team,student at Universuty of Northwestern, have developed advance ink that can be 3D-printed bone implants are ultra-elastic. these implants are briskly proliferated by blood vascular and slowly turn into True bone.
Helo ivan,  
Hope you are in a great condition  
You are done great, let me give you some suggest  
  
==> Medical ~~prespective~~ (Perspective ) which ........t 3D-print ~~flexibe~~ (flexible ) bone.  
==> Either way, this material is rather ~~frigile~~ (fragile ) because  
==> i can not ~~to~~ be remodelled during which.  
==> student at ~~Universuty~~ (university ) of Northwestern, ~~have developed advance ink~~ (had developed advance ink )  
  
you seem done many typos, this sounds unimportant but this is quiet interfere your IELTS score, you have to check your word first before post  
  
Good luck and keep fighting  
Best regard, Tami :)
*The sophisticated technology comes from Medical prespective ...* = using specially developed ink, a new sophisticated equipment for medical purposes has been invented to flexibly construct bone with 3-D print technology.  
  
~~This~~ PRINTED MATERIAL will be implanted (...) particular bone painlessLY ~~to be fixed in size~~ IN THE FIXED SIZE  
~~forthere,~~ this (...) provides many ~~marits~~ MERITS including ~~adaptable~~ ADAPTABILITY AN giving surgeons a cheap and effective ~~in brisk~~ healing BRISKLY  
  
Either way, this material is rather ~~frigile~~ FRAGILE because during the (...) and deteriorated, unfortunately i can not to be remodelled during which.*does not make a sense. revise it*  
  
... and her team~~,student at Universuty of Northwestern,~~ have developed advanceD ULTRA-ELASTIC ink that can be USED IN 3D-printed bone implants ~~are ultra-elastic~~ . these implants are briskly ...  
  
@ Ifan21
The bar graph shows the number of both sexiest Computer Science students from native and international student at a UK university since 2010 until 2012  
  
Overall, it can be seen that there were 2 kind of students : British home students and international students. It was noticeable that the number of native students were the highest compare than international student both of female and male during 3 years.  
  
British male students stood at around 40 in 2010 and then plunged to around 25 in 2011. By 2012, the number of students increase to around 40. On the other side, the female students who came from British rose from around 30 to 45 since until 2012.  
  
Between 2010 and 2012, the number of international male students rose from 20 to around 40. During the same period, the females also ascended from 15 to 20. The most of Computer Science students at UK university came from British area to compare with students from overseas over the whole period.  
  
*
How to see the thoughts you don't know you are having - Caroline Williams  
  
Every second, large of quantities idea emerge on our mind. Those are in an unconscious area in which almost all people are not aware of what their thinking. In actual fact, a few experiments have been developing to touch our hidden area. Harvard University's Scholars carried out the research by using quick response test to exposing unconscious behaviour regarding origin, sexuality and gender. Unfortunately, it is strenuous to catch. While, another researcher, Russell Hurlburt from University of Nevada Las Vegas, provides a different approach. He commanded volunteers to wear an earpiece which will randomly beep for six times a day, then ask them to note their mind. After a half of decade, he has concluded that minority of people have an idea what they are thinking.
Hello  
  
Your text will sound much better if you adjust some of the sentences as follows;  
  
Every second [...] *a number of different thoughts come into my mind*.  
~~Those are~~ [...] *This happens in the realm of unconscious, which is why most of these thoughts are hardly rational.*  
~~In actual fact~~ [...] *There have been conducted a few experiments on how our unconscious psyche operates.*  
~~the research~~ [...] *with respect to what account for people's unconscious reactions to the subjects of...*  
~~While~~ [...] no need for this word.  
~~provides~~ [...]*deployed*...  
~~commanded~~ [...] *asked.*..  
~~which will~~ [...] *that would*... beep [...] ~~for~~ [...] six times a day...  
~~then ask~~ [...] *while telling them to write down their would-be triggered mental responses.*  
that [...] *only the* [...] minority of people...  
  
I hope this will help. Regards.
The 22-year-old Arab-American revealed her goal is to become the first hijabi news presenter on commercial TV in America .In fact, this October, Noor Tagouri has become the first hijab-wearing woman to be featured in Playboy's 63- year history. She is totally broke the rules which shows the reality that this adult magazine no longer includes uncensored images or sexist establishment , but makes the revolutionary to reward women and enlighten many people outsides. However, her appearance in Playboy becomes controversial among Muslim community. She tell playboy readers " Live your life as your trust self and encourage others to do the same and continue to break barriers and glass ceilings, then , reclaim our power". Indeed, she made a choice to join forces with a sexiest establishment that has debase other women by reducing them to sexual objects for generations.
The 22-year-old Arab-American WOMAN revealed THAT her goal is to become the first...  
In fact, this October, Noor Tagouri, THE WAY SHE CALLED , has become the first ..  
She ~~is~~ totally broke the rules ~~which shows~~BY SHOWING the reality that this adult (...) but makes the revolutionary MOVEMENT to reward women and ...  
... controversial among Muslim ~~community.~~COMMUNITIES . She ~~tell~~TALKED TO playboy readers " Live ...  
  
Indeed, she made a choice to join forces with a sexiest establishment ...  
*Indeed, her chosen to be appeared on a sexy magazine that has its fame by portraying women as sexual objects for generations is in public world eyes*  
  
**hope this can help. good luck**
**TED SUMMARY: A Visual History Of Social Dance In 25 Moves by Camille A. Brown**  
  
Camille A. Brown talks about dance, and specializes in social dance. It is an universal language for all people across the globe. It is also an expression that emerges from a community. It is not choreographed by any one person. It can not be traced to any one moment . As result, it rose dramatically, changes, and spreads like wildfire. Camille stated that the present always contains the past. Then, she starts to share about the Juba dance which is from Ensloved Africans' experts in plantation. It was about keeping cultural traditions alive and retraining a sense of inner freedom creativity. Cake Walk dance is coming up then. It was performed by the high class community. After that, she tells about Charleston which was famous in 1920s. And right now it is called Funky harleston. This kind of dance is suitable with children as it is a fun dance. All of these dances continue to evolve, grow, and spread. All in all, she stated that at present, social dance is about community connection. If someone know the step, it meant he/ she belonged to a group. So let us move, express freely, and dance together.
Hi Ledha  
Let me give you some advice...  
  
It is ~~an~~(a) universal language for...  
... the Juba dance which is from ~~Ensloved~~(enslaved) Africans' experts in plantation  
... traditions alive and retraining (retaining) a sense of inner freedom creativity.  
This kind of dance is suitable with (for) children as it is a fun dance.  
If someone ~~know~~(knows) the step, it meant he/ she belonged ...  
  
Thank you...