dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
There ~~is~~WAS an activity from ...  
She saw A cockatoo namely Figaro ...  
~~This~~THE REASON WHY is because he splinter ...  
... cockatoos that will BE made a special tool.  
... to make tool such ~~as fashion~~ a long and thin FASHION to reach the nuts.  
..., most of them ~~can~~COULD pass this test.  
... this experiment that ~~they~~ SHE and ~~their~~HER friends ~~can~~COULD see the behaviour of the cockatoo [was impressive ~~and they were~~AS A n atural toolmakers.
Hi Andika, please find a few suggestions below;  
  
- ~~There is an~~An activity from Alice Auersperg life, she's from University of Vienna in Austria.  
- She saw cockatoo ~~namely~~named Figaro who became~~become the~~ smarter than other~~s~~ birds .  
- This is because he turned a wood into a splinter  
- ~~a wood~~ and used it to reach the nut from ~~their~~its cage.  
- ~~By the time, it was~~the other birds followed  
- ~~by other birds too~~suit .  
- Moreover, she and her colleagues ~~tried to~~ planned a stronger case for cockatoos  
- that will then be made into a special tool.  
- to make a tool ~~such as~~for fashion  
- ~~All in~~Over all, Auersperg  
- that ~~they and their~~she and her friends can  
  
There you have it Andika, I hope the above remarks are helpful and for future writing reference, mind that linking verbs as well as the association of your words in your sentences.
hello dika  
I have some suggestions for you  
hope it helps  
  
... Alice Auersperg from the University of ...  
... become the smarter than ~~others bird.~~other birds.  
  
This is because he splinters a wood and used...  
  
Moreover, ~~she and her colleagues~~her colleagues and she tried to plan a (...) that will ~~made~~make a special tool.  
  
... several times to make a tool such as ...  
  
thanks
**TED Summary : The benefits of a bilingual brain**  
  
Needless to say, when people study multilingual languages, they tend to easily understand watching international movie and traveling in another country. As such, when we learn another linguistic, it spontaneously makes brain in both of hemispheres active. It can active both of brain' hemisphere for children since they can feel have social and emotional contact. However, for the adult, it can only active one hemisphere. The reason why it is crucial ideas to learn another bilingual is that it can make them to have several skills such as problem solving, switching task quickly and also strongly focusing on something. As a result, learning linguistic science gives huge advantages. Thus, it makes them to become healthier, and more actively engaged with people.
it spontaneously makes *each part of brain active*~~brain in both of hemispheres active.~~  
  
~~It can active both of brain' hemisphere for children~~*when it comes to children, their brain becomes active when* they ~~can feel~~ have social ...  
  
However, for the adult, ~~it can only active one hemisphere~~*it can only be active in one part*.  
  
Thus, it makes them ~~to become~~ healthier,
Cheryl Knott reveals the information about the habitat of orangutan located in the rain forest canopy in western Borneo. She works with cutting-edge technology such a smartphone to know about those animal activities. It is different like gorillas and chimpanzees which live in groups, while orangutans lived alone. They spend much time in the three which had in the deep of the forest or swampy land so that human hard to across that habitats. Some researchers believed the speed of invention more quickly since using cutting-edge technology such a drone. After that, they found that there were so many orangutans lived in the forest in the Borneo and Sumatera also so that the study can continue to find several data collected to be investigated. During they were conducted research in that forests revealed the information about the evolution of endurance both genders. Males of orangutan challenge each other, while younger just protect their authority areas that get from older. This was different with males, females of orangutan tough their children to survive living in the treetops. This research can be successful relied on science's team and rate of conservation, whereas to find the answer about the correlation between humans and orangutan just looking into their eyes.  
  
nationalgeographic/magazine/2016/12/orangutans-behaviors-borneo-sumatra/
Dear riandi, here some advice for your writing and feel free to correct me too!  
  
....the habitat of orangutan **which** located in the rain forest **of** canopy in western Borneo.  
  
... technology such **as** a smartphone to know ...  
  
It is different **type**~~like~~**from** gorillas and chimpanzees which live in **particular** groups, while orangutans live~~d~~ alone.  
  
... time in the ~~three~~**trees** which ~~had~~**have** in the deep of the forest ...  
  
Some researchers believed **that** the speed of invention ~~more quickly~~**appeared to be true** since using (...) such **as** a drone.  
  
... there were ~~so~~ many orangutans lived in the forest ~~in the~~**of** Borneo and Sumatera ~~also~~ so that the study ...  
  
Regards
**TED Summary : The benefits of a bilingual brain**  
  
In modern era, we enter to majority of bilingual languages in the world. By having many languages, people can use it for travelling around the countries and also can work with the different of friends. The languages contains two active parts such as speaking and writing also listening and reading. In more detail, the multilanguages will effect for the left and right brain people. The left brain using for analytical and dominant action. In other case, the right brain can be used to connect an activity everyday also for emotional feelings by people. All in all, by learning this multilanguages, it gives remarkable advantages such as smarter thingking than others and more healthy too for society.
Dear andika, here some advice for your writing and feel free to correct me too!  
  
In ~~modern era~~**this day and age**, we enter to **the** majority of bilingual languages ~~in~~**through** the world.  
  
By having ~~many~~**variety** languages, people (...) can work with ~~the different of~~**foreign** friends.  
  
..., the multilanguages will **be** effect for ~~the~~ left and right **human** brain ~~people~~ .  
  
The left **side of** brain **are** using for analytical ...  
  
... also for emotional feelings ~~by~~**of** people.  
  
Regards
Every word has value and how we construct the value is depend on our way to delivered. Our language affects our thinking and how we view the world and other people. In fact, many ancient civilizations such as the Greeks and the Romans believed that to utter a curse verbally was so powerful, because to say the thing out loud brought it into existence. For several ancient civilizations such as the Greeks and the Romans are believe that a curse by verbal has a great power. She gives an example from his precious experience how powerful a word. When Aimee Mullins, a TED speaker, got broke in her feet, that's why he got a elastic bands in her feet to help built up her muscles. To motivate Aimee to more exercises, Dr P, a doctor who take care her, gives a simple ploy to her. He promise will gives amount of money to her if she did what she does not like did. Fortunately, the notion from the doctor affects to Aimee. It is represents that every word gives great power and impression for the audience depend on how you delivered your viewpoint and suggestions.
Every word has ITS value and (...) the value ~~is depend~~HINGE on our way to ~~delivered~~DELIVER .  
IT IS because ~~to~~THE WANT TO say ~~the thing~~SOME WORDS out loud brought ...  
... and the Romans are believeD that a curse by ...  
... his precious experience REGARDING how powerful a word.  
... broke in her feet, ~~that's~~THAT IS why he got ~~a~~AN elastic bands ...  
He promise ~~will~~TO GIVE~~gives~~ amount of money to her if she ~~did what she does not like did~~CONDUCT AN APPROPRIATE BEHAVIOR .  
It ~~is~~ represents that (...) for the audience dependING on how you delivered ...
Hi Dioba, below are additional suggestions for your essay.  
  
- Every word has a value and how we  
- construct the value ~~is~~ depends on our  
- way ~~to delivered~~of delivering it .  
- ~~was~~is so powerful,  
- because to ~~say the thing~~utter a word out loud  
- ~~brought~~will bring it into existence.  
- For ~~several ancient civilizations such as~~ the Greeks and the Romans  
- ~~are~~ believe that a verbal curse ~~by verbal~~ has a great power.  
- ... his precious experience of how powerful a word is .  
- ~~got~~ broke ~~in~~ her feet, ~~that's why~~ he got an  
- He promise he will gives amount of money  
- doctor affects ~~to~~ Aimee.  
- It ~~is~~ represents that every word gives great power  
- and impression ~~for~~to the audience  
- depending on how you delivered your  
  
There you have it Dioba,as you can see, there's a few suggestions that will definitely help you to strengthen your essay and I hope you follow through.
Dear Dioba, here some advice for your writing and feel free to correct me too!  
  
Every word has **a** value and (...) is depend**ing** on our way to delivere~~d~~ .  
  
Our language affects **for** our thinking and how we **are** view**ing** the world and other people.  
  
...ancient civilizations such as ~~the~~ Greeks and ~~the~~ Romans believed that...  
  
...to utter a ~~curse verbally~~**verbal curse** was so powerful, ...  
  
..are ~~believe~~**believing** that a ~~curse by verbal~~**verbal curse** has a great power.  
  
She gives an example from ~~his~~**her** precious experience**s** how powerful a word.  
  
Regards
The table shows information about kind of transport to go to work in Houston, Texas. According the table people prefer to use car than public transport. Overall, the most people who go to work use cars, and the least people choose bikes for work. In other hand, the higest average age who go to work are use trains and buses, and the smallest average age use bikes.  
  
By comparison, cars used by workers has 48 percent but the percentage of cylist just about 4 percent. And the graph shows CO2 emisson from various transport car with driver only has aproximately 0,32 CO2 emission. In comparison, buses and trains just has 0,07 CO2 emission, but there is no emission if use bicycle. In conclusion, the highest CO2 emission is from cars with driver only, furthermore cars with 4 people are the second. But the best transport is bikes because there is no C02 emission and more healty for our environment.
Hello Alfin,  
let me give you my correction, please  
  
the ~~higest~~highest"you lose in h letter" average age ~~who~~that "because the noun is thing not human" go to work are use ...  
  
buses and trains just ~~has~~have "plural form" 0,07 CO2 emission  
  
but there ~~is~~are no emission if use bicycle.  
  
there ~~is~~are no C02 emission
Hi Alfin,  
  
I am not really sure that you post this essay in a hurry or what, because I can notice many spelling errors and you also forgot to upload the picture. I suggest you to use spell-checker to help you out. This would also help us in reading and checking the detail of your essay later on. However, please take a closer look on my feedback below.  
  
1st paragraph:  
- The table shows the information about kind of transportation that is used by people to go to work ...  
- According the table, (comma is necessary) people prefer ...  
- Overall, it is noticeable that~~the~~ most people who ...  
- ~~In~~On the other hand, the ~~higest~~highest~~average age~~age group~~who go to work are~~~~use~~take trains and buses, and the ~~smallest average~~lowest age group~~use~~ride bikes.  
  
Your second paragraph spelling problems are:  
- cylist >> cyclist  
- emisson >> emission  
- aproximately >> approximately  
- healty >> healthy  
  
Also, remember that in English language, you need to write 0.07 instead of 0,07.  
  
Hope this helps :)
Dear Alfian  
Let me give you some inputs  
  
The table shows the information about kind of transport which is used going to work~~to go to work~~ in Houston, Texas.  
  
~~According~~ the table ~~saw that~~ people prefer to use the car than public transport.  
  
note: in writing task 1, your writing should consist of 3 parts of body, those are introduction, body 1 and 2. when it comes to introduction, there are several aspects should be written.  
  
1. what kind of data  
2. the measurement  
3. the year  
4. general overview.  
  
good luck
hai alfin  
I have some suggestions for you  
hope it helps  
  
... information about the kinds of transport to go ...  
  
According the table people prefer ...  
According to the table, people have a tendency to use the car rather than public transport.  
  
... who go to work use cars, ...~~In other hand, the higest average age who ...~~  
overall, most people who go to the workplace utilize a car, while fewer societies using bikes for working.  
  
... but the percentage of ~~cylist~~cyclist just about 4 percent.  
  
~~And the graph shows~~the CO2 ~~emisson~~emissions from various (...) only has ~~aproximately~~approximately 0,32 CO2 emission.  
  
thanks  
keep writing
Dear alfin, here some advice for your writing and feel free to correct me too!  
  
The table shows **an** information about **the** kind of transport**s** to go to ...  
  
According **to** the table people prefer to use car **rather** than public transport.  
  
Overall, ~~the~~ most **of** people who (...), and ~~the least~~**less** people choose bikes for work**ing**.  
  
In other hand, the hig**h**est average age**s** who go to work are ~~use~~**using** trains and buses, ...  
  
Regards
The WMO officially informed that 2016 will become the hottest year ever recorded globally. Petteri Taalas, a WMO secretary-general, also say the same argument that every year has different record of global temperature. Moreover, WMO officially released the newest information in UN climate talks in Moroco which more focused on applying the appropriate preventions on global warming. Based on research, smog from fossil fuels constant in the last three years while increasing of carbon emissions was happened in the past. An interesting fact is when Donald Trump as the 45 president of the United States argues that an issues about the environmentalist was fought toward climate change, he also argue that the Chinese spread the hoax issues to make the American industries uncompetitive.
hi dio, these are my thought towards your summary  
  
The WMO officially informed...[ what is WMO ? i think it would be better if you describe WMO to make your information more clear ]  
  
... secretary-general, also ~~say~~said**the same argument****that every year has different record of global temperature.**  
[ i think the argument is not same ]  
[also, watch your tenses]  
  
Moreover, WMO officially released the newest...  
[Moreover, WMO officially released the newest information from UN Climate Talks held in Morocco which more focused on applying the appropriate prevention on global warming.]  
  
Based on research, smog from fossil ...  
[Based on research, the proportion of smog which is a result from fossil fuels were constant in the last three years while the increment of carbon emissions happened.]  
  
... Donald Trump as the 45th president of (...) that an ~~issues~~issue about the environmentalist ~~was fought~~fighting towards climate change, he also argues that the Chinese (...) American industries ~~uncompetitive~~less competitive .  
  
keep writing, i hope it is helpful
Hi Dioba, here's another one from my end;  
  
- also ~~say~~said that the same argument  
- ~~that~~ every year has a different record  
- of the global temperature.  
- ~~in~~during UN climate talks in Morocco  
- which ~~more~~were focused on applying the  
- Based on the research, smog from fossil fuels  
- constantly in the last three years while  
- increasing ~~of~~ carbon emissions ~~was~~has happened in the past.  
- ~~argues~~argued that ~~an~~the issues about the environment~~alist~~ was fought toward to climate change, he also argued that the Chinese spread the  
  
There you have it Dioba, as you can see, there is a focus on the construction of your sentences in this modification process and I hope you follow through with the enhancements.
There are several main points that quickly purpose to conduct such as immigration, health care, and the supreme court. Turning to the specification programs. Firstly, the wall might just be a fence, it means there is a construction the fence on the border between U.S. and Mexico so that there is a gap among those countries. Secondly, Trump has the promise to deport immigrants undocumented. Thirdly, it will be an alteration from before to merge between U.S. Congress and the White House. Fourthly, sending a message to demonstrator contained about do not worried since Trump only wants to turn back U.S. in the past. Fifthly, he needs much time to fulfill his promise for restricting the abortion. Sixthly, Trump wants to control his social media such a twitter since it will be embarrassing himself. The last, a desire to focus on him aims rather than to serve the email scandal of Hillary Clinton.  
  
time
Riandi,  
  
Listing ideas might be good sometimes, but I think too many of them would possibly cause some detrimental effects as well. Normally, people mostly list their ideas into three major points. Six or even seven ideas in a single paragraph somehow is not an acceptable paragraphing structure after-all. However, my detailed feedback on the most noticeable errors would be described below.  
  
- ...and the Supreme Court.(it should be in capitalized form)  
- ~~Turning to the specification programs.~~(Can you call this a sentence? Where are the subject and the verb?)  
- Firstly, the wall might just be a fence. (you can choose either make a new sentence or use a semicolon) It means ~~there is a construction the fence~~a huge fence will be built on the border between U.S. and Mexico, so that there...  
  
- Secondly, Trump ~~has the promise~~promises to deport illegal immigrants or immigrants without legal documents~~undocumented.~~  
- ~~Thirdly~~Then , ~~it~~there will be an alteration...  
- ~~Fourthly~~He also wants to send~~sending~~ a message to demonstratorsthat they should not worry about the U.S. because He only~~contained about do not worried since Trump only~~ wants to turn ~~back~~the U.S. back in the past.
Hi Riandi, below are a few suggestions to modify your essay.  
  
- There are several main points that quickly purpose to conduct such ...- this sentence is very confusing, I believe you mean this;  
  
There are several points that can be drawn from Donald Trump's speech such as immigration, health care and the supreme court rulings.  
  
You see, as you are starting an essay, you have to make sure that you have established the subject and the goal of the essay first before substituting the idea.  
  
- Turning to the specific~~ation~~ programs.  
- First~~ly~~ , the wall might just be a fence,  
- but it means there is a ~~construction the fence on the~~ border between U.S. and Mexico  
- ~~so that there is a~~and this is the gap among  
- ~~those~~this two countries.  
- ~~Secondly~~Next , Trump ~~has the~~ promised to deport undocumented immigrants ~~undocumented~~ .  
- Third~~ly~~ , ~~it will be an alteration from before to~~he plans to merge ~~between~~the U.S. Congress and ...  
  
There you have it Riandi, I hope the above remarks are helpful to your revision and as usual, I would like you to hone your editing skills so I left you with a few sentences where you can practice your proofreading skills.
**TED Summary : The benefits of Bilingual Brain**  
  
Knowing and learning other language beside your mother language brings several benefits for our brain. The speaker said that the brain works differently when we speak or learn bilingual (multilingual). Children easily learn other language because they use both of their brain hemisphere while adult only use the left one. Having more than one language also brings some remarkable advantages for both children and adult. The children or adult learning more than one language will have less emotional problems and help them to prevent the brain diseases such as dementia. Although it is not make us smarter, our brain will be more healthy, complex and actively engaged.
Hello  
  
Your text will sound much better if you reformulate some of the sentences as follows:  
  
~~Knowing and~~ Learning [...] *a foreign language is believed to be very beneficial for one's brain.*  
~~The speaker said~~ [...] *It is commonly assumed that..*.  
~~or learn bilingual (multilingual)~~ [...] *some other language.*  
*hemispheres* while *adults*...(this statement is incorrect).  
~~Having~~ [...]*Being fluent in...*  
children and *adults*.  
~~The children or adult learning ...~~ [...] *Those children and adults who know more than one language will...*  
  
and *this will* help them [...] *not to succumb to a number of different neurological diseases, such as dementia.*  
Although ~~it is not make us smarter~~ [...]*one's proficiency in a foreign language will not make him or her smarter...*  
  
I hope this will help. Regards.
**Mia Nacamulli - The benefits of a bilingual brain**  
  
Learning more than one language has many advantages for people especially for children. This is because the brain will work well if people force themselves to understand another language which is not their first language. Therefore, all of hemispheres of brain have to work together to produce different accent and pronunciation from the other language. In addition, children will be easier to learn new language than elderly. In conclusion, having bilingual does not make our brain smart, yet it makes us healthier, complex, and actively engaged.  
  
*source: ed.ted.com/lessons/how-speaking-multiple-languages-benefits-the-brain-mia-nacamulli#watch*
Bung, the summary that you wrote is too rushed and does not inform the reader of the necessary parts of the video. The most important parts being the description of the 3 types of bilingual brains. Since you did not indicate that in your report, you were unable to properly assess the video material for information and importance. While the rest of your information was based on the video report, there was no instance where you actually informed the reader properly regarding the main topic being discussed in the video. Therefore, your essay is wanting in information and clarity. As far as task achievement goes, you only partially fulfilled the needs of the essay due to your failure to indicate the key points of discussion in the essay. Sadly, that may have an effect on the final score that you could possibly get. Just remember, the key discussions must always be represented in the essay. So do your best to identify and note its importance during the listening segment of the test.
Bung, when you write a summary essay like this, make sure to represent both sides of the discussion in the essay. The original article indicates that there are both good and bad, pros and cons, of using this system of treatment. Therefore, you must present the bad opinion in your summary also. What I noticed is that you only read the first half of the article, you did not read the article to the very end. Which is why you were only able to present the first half of the discussion in your presentation. You must practice reading faster and more efficiently so that you will always present a full discussion. Learn how to take note of keywords and data through the scanning of the article. If you must read under a time limitation, make sure to note as much of the original article as you can during the note taking period. This will help you develop a more informed essay presentation.