dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
***Nowadays it is not only large companies than can make film. Digital technology enables anyone to produce films***.  
## Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

  
  
These days, with the development of digital technology, people can make films in many ways and the film market is not only a piece of cake for large corporations. This change can be attributed to numerous reasons, and I consider this a positive development.  
  
There are two main reasons associated with this phenomenon. Firstly, everyone in modern life have almost one mobile device, such as a smartphone, tablet, or laptop. Therefore, they can easily record a video with a mobile phone, after that, they can be a professional editor with some mobile apps or softwares. Additionally, with the development of social network, online video platforms have become more popular with millions of visitors per day. This is because people's entertainment demand is dramatically increasing.  
  
Personally, I deem this a positive development. The first reason for my belief is that the mega corporations in the film field have to continuously change, develop their human resources, upgrade their devices, unstintingly create. This could be explained by the fact that the world changes from day to day, so the products of that corporations need to get a high quality and fit for all people in the world. Another reason is, individuals can access easily to a large number of high-quality films. This can be seen in the case of tough competition between large corporation and non-professional producer.  
  
In conclusion, while the development of digital technology, any one can to be a film producer, I consider this a positive development given the beneficial for citizen. In the near future, non-professional films will account for the larger proportion in the entertainment market./.  
  
*I hope that I will receive your feedback, it is very useful for me to improve my Writing skill. I have never take IELTS exam, so how can can I guess my score? Please and Thanks so much*
The first reason why this essay will fail is because it added a discussion point that is not included in the original prompt. The question only pertains to whether the idea presented is a positive or negative development. There was never a question as to how these changes developed. Neither was there a question as to why these changes happened. Therefore, the writer altered the discussion writing instruction a few times, leading to a totally different discussion focus in the reasoning section. These additions will already result in point deductions due to inaccurate topic depiction and irrelevant responses.  
  
Since a whole paragraph was dedicated to responding to the irrelevant discussion point, that total paragraph will be stricken from consideration. The result of which will be an essay that does not meet the minimum word count and, fails to fully develop a relevant 2 reasoning paragraph presentation. These will be the second basis for the overall failing score result.  
  
Understand that the discussion questions are provided to give the writer the ability to properly respond within 2 paragraphs. That means one relevant topic should be discussed in every section. These should be connected reasons that clearly explain the opinion of the writer, as relevant to the prompt. Fail to follow the instructions and provide these points and the essay will get a failing score.
***Topic:  
Plastic shopping bags are used widely and caused many environmental problems. Some people say they should be banned.***  
## To what extent do you agree or disagree?

  
  
Essay:  
No one would deny the bad environmental effects plastic bags make but totally replacing them could have worse impact. That is why I believe plastic bags should not be banned.  
  
The reason why many do not support using plastic bags is that they pollute the land and the water. Some individuals reuse but mostly throw plastic away as trash. If they are not collected, they would dug in and impair the soil. Sometimes wind lifts plastic bags to rivers and seas. Many marine animals eat them and die. Because of those risks, banning plastic bags seems like the only way to save the Earth.  
  
A big numbers support replacing plastic bags by paper bags but it would make situation worse by another destruction. Totally using paper means more forest would be cleaned. Then, the carbon footprint would be increased. The planet would be warmer and there would be more natural disasters. For example, Vietnam lost a large amount of forest area during the wars. Therefore, now floods come frequently and causes big damage to people and properties.  
  
T do not think thoughtlessly banning plastic bags could solve the environmental problems. Government should have stricter laws of collecting and recycling instead of totally banning them.  
  
I am so glad to read your feedback, it is very necessary for me to improve my writing skills. Thank you so much for your help.
I found myself confused about the actual slant of this essay discussion. I had to review it twice to convince myself that the writer failed to follow the correct discussion format for this type of prompt. The third reading was what I used to definitely believe that the essay does not follow the required writing format.  
  
The first error in this essay is that the prompt restatement was not a restatement of the topic but rather, the personal opinion of the writer. The personal opinion is not considered a reflection of the paraphrasing of the given topic. The second error in the first paragraph is that there is a lack of measured or emotional response to the question. The writer needs to use words that show the strength of his belief in the statement. This is not a simple agree or disagree essay.  
  
A third error can be found in the discussion paragraphs. Being a single opinion essay, the writer will not recieve any score for the paragraphs that do not support his given opinion. Since only one paragraph somewhat supports the writer's opinion in this presentation, he cannot expect to receive a passing score for the presentation. The reason for the failure will be the collective results of the first 3 errors and the improper development of the reasoning paragraphs. There must be 2 full supporting paragraphs for the writer's opinion. It cannot be less than that otherwise the score will be based on an under developed explanation.  
  
The writer also failed to proofread the work, which will result in a lower GRA score. In the last paragraph, "T" was used in place of "I", indicating that the essay was not edited nor proofread prior to submission. A review and corrections should always be applied prior to submission to avoid these easily corrected errors that have major score reducing effects.
## social media and the face-to-face interaction

  
  
Many people argue that social media makes individuals do not have to directly communicate together. While there are some drawbacks to communicating via social media, I maintain that the strengths will likely be more significant.  
  
On the one hand, the idea of social media is advantageous to some extent. The first advantage of this is that it is easier to access and connect rapidly for anyone who has a mobile device with an Internet connection. This is because individuals have at least one mobile device, such as a smartphone, tablet, or laptop which is very popular, and they all have a wireless connection. Another advantage is social media, which provides a easy-to-master platform to use and communicate whenever and wherever. This is perfectly exemplified in case of Covid-19 pandemic, everyone needs to stay at home for safety, no one can go out, and social media is a temporary solution.  
  
On the other hand, this practice can highlight a number of valid concerns. Firstly, time-consuming is first problem when people are using the social media. It is not only an environment for communication but also an entertainment space where they can read news, watch videos and surf the Internet. Secondly, social media makes one addicted to mobile devices. This could be explained by the fact that they do not need to go out and have face-to-face conversations; they just stay at home, surf, and update the new status of their friends.  
  
In conclusion, this trend might possess numerous disadvantages. However, I am more inclined to the view that the advantages will likely prevail.
While the grammar of the essay leans more on the incorrect sentence structure and word usage side, the writer has managed to come across with clear thoughts regarding his personal opinion. Believe me, even though the score for the GRA and LR sections will not be very high, these mispresented sentences will somehow stop the C+C score from seeing a failing mark. While the C+C score will not be tremendously high, it will be enough to garner a somewhat passing score.  
  
I have to point out though that an incorrect writer's opinion presentation was used in the reasoning paragraphs. The writer decided to use a comparative analysis of one positive and one negative aspect of the discussion, which is not what the examiner will expect to read. Since the question is posed in a debate format, the writer should use the written debate format in the reasoning paragraphs. That is because the believability of of opinion will be based upon how well he proves the opposing argument to be false. Therefore, there should be 2 perceived negatives that he can explain as actual positives in the discussion section. One negative idea with a positive explanation per paragraph. That is how the written A v. D written debate is formatted.  
  
That said, the presentation cannot be seen as properly and completely developed due to the improper discussion format. Only the section that actually supports the writer's opinion would be accepted in this case, but it will not be enough of a consideration to receive a high passing score.
## benefits or inconveniences of travel

  
  
Have you ever wondered what are some of the disadvantages of travel? For the most part, traveling can greatly benefit our minds and allow us to make new friends. However, there are several downsides worth being considered if you wish to set off on a new journey: costly expenses, loneliness, and fear of missing out on other important events.  
  
First of all, traveling can be expensive. There are a lot of fees you need to cover such as accommodations, food, transportation, etc. if these necessities are not met well, you will have a hard time enjoying your trip. Therefore, in order to have a great trip, you need to make savings, which can take a while.  
  
Another drawback is that you may feel lonely, especially when traveling alone. This is also true even when you travel with friends since you may not see eye to eye on everything, which is exhausting. It is just the nature of traveling.  
  
Finally, embarking on a new journey at whatever reasonable time is likely to make you miss some important events with your family and friends. While you are living a different life, your loved ones and close friends still get on with their lives, which means their milestones such as engagements, weddings, and births may occur without your presence. Thus, you will have to contemplate the cost of traveling and missing out on these memorable events.  
  
In short, while traveling is undoubtedly beneficial, its inconveniences, costly expenses, loneliness, and fear of missing out, should be worth weighing up. These downsides may seem insignificant but they can annoy you no matter how exciting your journey may be.
Since the title of the essay implies that the writer should opt to discuss either the benefits or inconveniences of travel, the writer should not have confused the prompt restatement by indicating a partial benefit of travel. It was unnecessary since there is clearly a one opinion discussion instruction provided. Whenever the word OR is presented for opinion making, that indicates a one sided discussion. The writer should never try to present the benefit of the opposing side since that creates an incohesive discussion presentation. The focus should only be on the side that the writer supports. So the presentation of the benefit in this restatement paragraph creates a scoring mark down for the paragraph.  
  
The fact that the writer does not include the benefits in the body of paragraphs also means that the writer understood that this is a one sided opinion paper. Why he misrepresented the prompt restatement is beyond me. He should also never write a rewording using a rhetorical question that will not be dealt with in the body of the presentation. It further added to the C+C problems of the presentation and further lowered the final overall score for the presentation.  
  
By presenting a concluding personal opinion in the concluding statement, the writer further deviates from the TA requirements since this was only a general discussion presentation and not a personal opinion statement. By making a factual personal reference in the end, a prompt deviation was created, leading to a problematic score for this student in the end.
In the first paragraph, the author asked a question about a related title, but the next 2nd sentence is vague and similar to the question while the 1st one is the opposite. This action makes misunderstandings. Besides, there is no context in the first paragraph.  
  
The second and the paragraphs are basic with few connection phrases. Besides, you should use "face to face" to tell about directed meeting. The meaning of the third paragraph especially the second sentences is complexity.  
  
Turning to the last paragraph, the phrases " a different life" and " without the presence" are confused. By directed mindset, you should rewrite the sentence simple, short and clear.  
  
Generally, paragraphs are also just opinions without specific approvals. The clear construction should be a subject sentence, a approval sentence and two sentences for analyzing.  
  
If need a writing partner, please contact me.
## smartphones and kids

  
  
In modern society, children use most of their time on smartphones. Throughout this essay, I will explore the advantages and disadvantages of this trend and express my opinion on the matter. Firstly, I will discuss the negatives of children spending lots of time on smartphones and secondly, I will share the positives of this trend if it is mined in the right way.  
  
Children using smartphones will affect their mental health. Lots of inappropriate behavior may have a negative effect on their psychology due to phone radiation. This hazard makes children feel alone, catharsis, as well as being isolated from sociality. Additionally, the negative effects of the internet may result from contemporary online platforms or social networks. For example, in 2019, a trend appears on the Youtube platform so-call "Momo challenge" which increase the suicide rate of children around the world. As a result of that, Viet nam's government immediately had the policy to remove such videos on Youtube.  
  
On the other hand, exposure to smartphones early gives children great advantages. Using smartphones early helps children keep pace with technology. There are many changes in our living world today. To develop a comprehensive yourself as well as avoid being a laggard person, children should know the way to use these technologies, typically smartphones. Furthermore, early exposure to smartphones helps children learn from the internet which is a vast resource of human knowledge. The children's exploitation of this resource helps them have creativity, problem-solving, and independence personality. For example, online free courses on the internet help children to understand more about lectures before going to their classes.  
  
In Conclusion, there are many benefits and negatives to children spending hours every day on their smartphones. In my opinion, it is a positive development. Parents should take care of their children to encourage their independence as well as to stimulate their curiosity.  
  
P/s: Could you give me an advice, please?
The essay has already received a failing score for the preliminary TA consideration. That is because the original prompt topic and discussion points were completely altered by the writer in his restatement and opinion presentation. As such, the writer cannot expect to receive a passing score even if the does well in the succeeding LR, C+C, and GRA considerations. While minimal points will be awarded in these sections, the fact that the writer did not follow the writing and discussion instructions are originally indicated have prevented the writer from gaining a passing score. Once the writer shows that he failed to follow the writing instructions, it becomes clear to the examiner that the writer does not have an English comprehension ability that will allow him to perform well in an English academic setting. The only way to pass a task 2 test is to make sure that the discussion instructions are properly represented in the reasoning paragraphs and that the restatement paragraph does not totally deviate from the given discussion considerations. This essay did not follow instructions.
Your conclusion is quite short, you should enlarge it to around 5 sentences while summarizing the requirement. By splitting out the given question, you could find the keywords for your essay as pros and cons- which you did it quite well. But in the opening paragraph, you said " firstly", usually when saying the ordinal number it usually comes with 3 numbers at least. Besides, at the end of your 1st para, you said " positives of this trend" while in the second part you said about the negatives impacts- which could confuse the reader.
***Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor.  
  
## Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

  
  
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.***  
  
These days, a wide range of people tend to cope with problems relating to health by simply using medicines and curing methods without the instructions of doctors. However, I believe the positive aspects of this trend are eclipsed by more immediate threats  
  
On the one hand, there is numerous useful information in terms of various kinds of illnesses. Therefore, people can easily search and get to know about their health issues. It is extremely convenient, so individuals do not need to book appointments with doctors to learn about their little sicknesses. Moreover, some people may find it quite economical, to just buy medicines or receive appropriate treatments.  
  
On the other hand, it is very risky to consume medicines that are not suitable for a person's health, which leads to a result that the immune system of the person can be decreased and vulnerable. In addition, medical information on the internet is not always accurate, then people can misunderstand their health problems, and will not get cured in the correct ways, as a result, their sickness may not only get worse but also more complicated to cure. When visiting doctors, patients will be consulted by professionals about their health situations, and they will be arranged on the right path to deal with their illness.  
  
In conclusion, it may be acceptable to cure small diseases by one's self. Nevertheless, I fiercely recommend people should get medical advice from professional doctors.
Please make sure to double check the draft version of the essay prior to submission. That will help with the correcting of the presentation in terms of missing punctuation marks, improperly used punctuation, incorrect word choices, and sentence structure improvement. These are the main problems that can be found in this essay with a simple scan of the work. The analysis of the presentation has not even been completed at that point and already the essay is in a big risk of not receiving a failing score.  
  
The question asked is if the trend is a negative or positive development. The question was not responded to in the correct format. Rather, the writer immediately jumped to his thesis statement. In his haste to establish his discussion point, he will lose points for not directly presenting his opinion in a manner related to the question provided.  
  
Since the writer has a single opinion for this essay, the discussion paragraphs should have represented 2 valid reasons for his opinion. What the writer did was try to justify both sides of the discussion in his reasoning paragraphs. That is the wrong writing approach for reasons previously mentioned. The essay cannot receive complete scoring marks since the evidence presentation is incomplete and lacking in substance. This happened because the writer used a comparative discussion rather than the single opinion defense format, which is the expected response format for this essay.  
  
While the writer understood the topic for discussion and pretty much knew how to defend his point of view, the response format that was used proved to be the main problem for the presentation. The lack of proper response formatting and approach led to heavy deductions in the C+C section. This essay may not receive a passing score in an actual setting.
***Many people say that universities should only offer places to young students with the highest marks, while others say they should accept people of all ages, even if they did not do well at school.***  
  
## Discuss both views and give your opinion.

  
  
There is an ongoing conflict as to whether tertiary schooling should be exclusive to students who have gained many academic credentials or it should be a universal place for all strata regardless of their performances at school. From my perspective, I will discuss both views and give my opinion in the following essay.  
  
On the one hand, it is irrefutable that outstanding high school pupils are more deserved to attend university in that recruiting top-tier learners have a positive association with the guarantee of qualities in terms of educational backgrounds. Consequently, were classrooms to embody learners with formidable points, lecturers would be able to highly develop the lessons by stimulating more advanced knowledge, resulting in a better precursor of students as well as enhancing the intellectual levels among them. Furthermore, the school's reputation could be tremendously proliferated what with the strict requirements of school agencies. For example, in an endeavor to maintain prestige, Havard University has only accepted application forms from students who are categorized as geniuses.  
  
On the other hand, it is worth mentioning that success can not be determined by age or a person's intellectual potential, therefore, the view of not letting people of other ages enroll in schools is flawed. Specifically, in some particular occupations such as psychology and education management, elderly people might do even better than the top students because they have more practical experiences and depth-thinking dexterities in life. Additionally, most schools need financial budgets to maintain their facilities. In more detail, if colleges only prioritize students with scholastic achievements which just account for a small number of people in society, many others will not have opportunities to enroll in their universities, leading to a diminishing amount of money from the tuition fee so that colleges will no longer have enough money to improve their equipment.  
  
In conclusion, despite universities being capable of making a room for intelligent students and enhancing their prowess but with me, it would be beneficial in the long run if all students are able to assign to their adorable schools without any requirements of collegiate achievements.