dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
## The best way to truly relax and reduce stress is to spend time alone

  
  
Life is often compared as spring, which needs stress to achieve goals, but will also be ruined under too much stress. It has been an important topic about how to relax ourselves when facing too much stress. In my opinion, the best way to truly relax and reduce stress is to spend time alone. Spending time alone benefits us a lot on organizing our thoughts, resting our body and feeding us cheap thrills.  
  
Spending time alone offering us a quiet space to organize our minds. Our daily life is often filled with so much work to do and so many interactions with different people, and actually these may mess up our mind and cause a lot of stress. Since nobody knows us better than us, having some time alone and reflect on ourselves can help us have a clear point of view to see things happened recently and make us feel more comfortable to handle problems.  
  
Spending time alone is also a great chance to rest our body. Stress will not only give us spiritual pain but also physical pain, and sometimes we feel powerless to manage our life is because our body really need a rest while we are too busy to notice that. Spend time alone so that you don't need to care about other people's feelings and you will know that your body is calling for a rest. After your body is totally rested, you will feel more capable to solve tough problems spiritually and physically, and finally reduce our stress.  
  
It's important to have some cheap thrills to relax, and spending time alone will not make us feel embarrassed to do that. When you are alone, you can dance to the music even if you can't catch the beat, and you can watch soap opera with nobody around criticizing you. When you are alone, you don't have to care evaluations from outside and just let you be you. It feels so good to have cheap thrills alone and make us feel a lot more relaxed.  
  
To conclude, comparing to spending time with other people, spending time alone guaranteed us a quiet and safe place to organize our thoughts, rest our body and feel free to have cheap thrills. With all these methods to deal with stress, we can be more competent to handle problems and manage our life.
You have changed the prompt discussion parameters. That means, you did not understand the prompt discussion instructions. This essay will receive an overall failing score because of it. You were asked to agree or disagree with the given statement. Instead, you discussed the importance of relaxing in terms of reducing stress instead. Your restatement is incorrect and will be given a failing TA score because of it. Once you have a failing TA score, you will find it extremely difficult to pull up the rest of the scoring rubic to achieve a passing mark. To pass this test, you have to first, properly understand the given topic and the discussion instructions. Second, you have to present a discussion based on the given discussion requirements and supplied reasons. This essay does not accurately restate the given prompt nor give a proper response to the given discussion question. Therefore, the format for the discussion that was used is incorrect and not applicable to the provided discussion topic.
I AM REALLY GLAD TO HEAR FEEDBACK FROM YOU GUYS. THANK YOU SO MUCH!  
  
## Cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete

  
  
**TOPIC: The diagrams below show the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes.**  
  
TASK:  
The diagrams illustrate how to produce cement and the process of making concrete from cement for construction purposes. Overall, there are five main steps in the process of cement production, from crushing two materials to packing cement in bags. Meanwhile, the concrete process includes two major parts.  
  
At the first step of the cement production, limestone and clay are crushed into powder. Then, the powder is mixed in a machine called a mixer. After that, the powder is moved to the rotating heater, where it is heated to high temperature. Next, the mixture is ground and the cement is produced. Finally, the cement is packaged in huge bags.  
  
Cement is one of the four materials that are used to produce concrete, go along with water, gravel and sand. In detail, concrete consists of 50% of gravel, 25% sand, 15% cement and 10% water. All four materials are blended together by a concrete mixer.  
  
*
Your first sentence is confusing. You need to indicate the number of diagrams and give separate overview presentations for each. The way that you have it presented, it is as if the two different processes are combined into one. That presentation lacks clarity and separation of information, which is a requirement when discussing 2 images for comparison purposes.  
  
The first sentence in your third paragraph is another confusing presentation. You forgot to indicate that water does not "go along" but rather is "added" to the mixture along with gravel and sand. Rather than saying in detail, which is a bit confusing to understand, you could have instead used the phrase "The mixture is composed of..." to clearly indicate that the elements are all mixed together to create a final product.  
  
Overall, you wrote a good number of words, but lacked clarity in some instances, which would affect the TA score of your essay. There are also some misused words, as I indicated above, which would have also lowered your LR score. Pay more attention to the clarity of your presentation next time. Make sure the reader will not be stressed out or confused by your presentation. When that happens, your GRA score will definitely be affected. The combination of all of these errors in your essay will definitely hinder you from getting an above average mark.
TOPIC:  
***Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible.***  
  
## Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

  
  
Thanks to the tremendous breathtaking in technology and science around the globe in recent years made it cutting-price together with easy to access . As a result, a prodigious quantity of adults as well as offspring could work or study from home. From my perspective, I contend that this evolution utterly are optimistic development in the long run because this advance will act as a precursor for a host of other realms boosting in the foreseeable future such as traffic, communication, to name but a few. Furthermore, all inhabitants will take advantage of this opportunity to savour their spiritual as well as physical activities  
  
The main motivation behind my belief is that this advance will act as a precursor for other spheres becoming more prosperous. In other words, the advance in technology will aid numerous in socetial field developed simultaneously. In particular, most corporations or enterprises in the past, they purely possess domestic markets, The management together with running a foreign company is infinitely difficult and even hazardous in default of modern technology and the director have to come in person to the corportion to manange the circumstances of this. Nevertheless, in these days these evolutions in technology have allowed businesses to easily come over territorial boundary lines and establish foreign operations because the running will become more straightforward via online conferences or meeting and survellance cameras. Which will result in prosperous and diverse economy in around the world. Moreover, in some urgent circumstances such as Corona virus. Technology incidentally became a indispensiable tool with a view to addressing this situation. All educational institutions must be closed and most children have to stay at home to curb the transmition of Corona virus. In lieu of studying at schools, students have to study online methods via zoom . Apparently, this development plays pivotal role under hazardous circumstance.  
  
Another key driver to support my perspective is that residents will take advantage of the advance in technology in order to savour their spiritual and physical activities. In a fund of large metropolises around the globe metropolitan citizens are inclined to enhance their mental and physical life by means of the achievement in technology such as the cinema or theater or skycrapers, to name but a few. That will definitely bring mental well-being for dweller inhabitants.  
  
In conclusion, in the light of aforementioned statement. It is my conviction that the tremendous evolution in technology will definitely lead to the state-of-the-art and prosperous world. That is infintely a positive change for the future.
This essay will get a failing score because your discussion is not only confusing to the reader due to the horrible sentence presentations and paragraph development, but also because the discussion you are presenting is not even remotely connected with the discussion topics from the original presentation. As such, this will be scored based on your inability to relate your discussion to the given information and discussion instructions. There is no sense in writing such a long essay that does not make any sense to the reader. You should not write just for the sake of writing. Rather, you should write based on an understanding of the original requirements and instructions. You need to show that you understood the original prompt and can follow English instructions. I am not sure what you are writing about here but you are definitely off base. Rather than writing a simple opinion essay, you delved into a deep discussion of a topic only you understand because you made it up. This is not a passing essay at all.
I am glad to receive all feedbacks from you guy <3  
  
## IELTS Writing Task 2 - Type : Opinion

  
  
**Topic  
*Getting promotions is one of the biggest motivators for hard work in the modern workplace.*  
*Why are people so driven to receive promotions?  
What other factors motivate people to work hard?***  
  
My essay  
  
Managers have a strong desire to improve their employees' productivity, and giving advancement opportunities is regarded as one of the best ways of achieving this. There seem to be two main causes involved and a range of equally pressing elements with promotion  
  
One driving force behind workers' effort is the need to sustain their livelihood. As the cost of expenditure is upsurging, promotion can be such a promising source of income that people can satisfy their needs without falling into a financial crisis. This in turn would aid them to guarantee a better life. Greater social status can be another factor which drives people towards job promotions. With the change to a higher position in the organization, the society's respect towards a person can be positively enhanced.  
  
Besides promotion, setting realistic targets can exert a remarkable influence on work effort. Supervisors may encounter difficulties in assessing and monitoring productivity without an objective in mind. Therefore, clear goals can give a reference point and make it easier to keep staff on an united track . Furthermore, people also work hard in order to broaden their knowledge just from the implementation of several simple projects in the workplace, which supplements them with a strong foundation for their future career.  
  
To conclude, some people are working with their greatest enthusiasm in the hope of getting promoted. However, there are many other factors having the same influence on work ethic as well.
Always break down the original prompt before you write your paraphrase. Make sure that you do not use information in your paraphrase that changes any part of the original presentation. Your essay changes the factors for consideration from promotions, hard work, and modern workplace to manger, employees productivity, advancement opportunities. Note the difference in discussion points from the original topic sentence to yours. This changed the theme of the discussion, making your topic inaccurate at that point. You are no longer on point with your discussion presentation. Then your discussion topics changed from why people are driven to receive promotions and factors that motivate people to work hard to 2 causes involved (in what?) and equally pressing elements ( for a promotion?) You do not seem to understand the original discussion presentation and information requirements for your reasoning paragraph. Your paraphrase is way off base.  
  
It would have been better if you had used a topic sentence in the second paragraph instead of saying "besides promotion" because the promotion discussion was a significant part of the discussion presentation of this essay. Always start the next paragraph with a topic sentence instead. That will help create a more applicable presentation instead of negating the previous discussion topic.
The essay below is an ielts writing task 2 essay. Please give me some comments. Thank you so much.  
  
***Many things can influence the academic achievement and emotional growth of a student. In this regard, peers have more of an impact than teachers do.***  
  
## To what extend do you agree or disagree?

  
  
Answer  
Many people have valued the role of classmates on a student's school performance and emotional development over that of teachers' impact. In my opinion, I profoundly disagree with those people as both of them are equally essential for pupils.  
  
On the one hand, the influences of teachers on the comprehensive development of pupils are strictly necessary. To begin with, the most common role of teachers is to teach learners all necessary knowledge they need in school and give them homework to do at home. Additionally, they encourage undergraduates try their best by creating competitive environment in classroom. Therefore, in the long term, they achieve more academic goals. Moreover, Teacher not only educate their students, but also listen and talk with them when they have a problem. For example, as a veteran being, they can give adolescents useful advices when they have just broken up. As a result, young learners will easily overcome that situation and become more mature.  
  
One the other hand, fellow classmates also take an equal role to a student's academic improvement as well as the development of his emotion. First, they motivate each other to perform better in schools. In fact, pupil tend to make more effort if their peers complete better than they do. As a result, they increasingly accomplish in school. Second, classmates help young learners grow emotionally by providing them with new ideas, beliefs and experiences. This can help students develop a better ability to control their emotions and get along with others.  
  
In conclusion, I suppose the significance of fellow classmates and trainers can not be brought into comparison to see which one is more vital since they have distinctively equal meaning to a student's comprehensive development.  
  
285 words.
There are 2 errors in your presentation. The first, is that you changed the topic for discussion from "many things" to "many people". People are not the same as things. In this regard, you will appear to not have properly understood the original discussion topic due to the change from "things" to "people". You also did not give a proper response to the given question which asks you to pick one reason to defend in the essay. You cannot say both have a profound impact because the choices you are given for the reasoning discussion are specific. Either you:  
  
- Agree that peers have more of an impact than teachers  
- Disagree that peers have more impact than teachers  
  
When you are given an "or" choice, that means there is an alternative decision that you can make. That does not mean you should defend both sides. That means you can only use one side, the other being an alternative response to the question. Since there are only 2 reasoning paragraphs, you need to give 2 individual, convincing reasons for the examiner to read. Convince him that your opinion is correct, based on the degree of your disagreement with the given statement.  
  
This is not a comparison essay. I guess you are not familiar with the types of Task 2 essays yet. The A/D and comparison discussions are written using both sides of the discussion. All agree or disagree essays rely on a single opinion presentation in the reasoning paragraphs.  
  
Never use words of uncertainty in these presentations. You must always have a strong statement in the presentation in support of a clear opinion. When you say you "suppose" that means you are not sure if the discussion presentation you presented is correct.
***Most artists earn low salaries and should therefore receive funding from the government in order for them to continue with their work***  
  
## To what extent do you agree?

  
  
It often said that the income of almost artists is relatively low. Thus, they should be given funding from government to maintain their work. From my perspective I completely agree with this point of view for the following reasons.  
  
Nowadays many gifted artists are facing financial strain and wondering whether they should follow their enthusiasm in art or doing something else to make out money. Funding for artists is a best solution for them to clear their way and work on art continuously. Doing this means artists no longer have to work on two more extra jobs to cover their personal expense. Working regardless of money must give them a fresh mind that could produce fascinating and creative concepts that could be priceless.  
  
Another good point to support artists is that it will benefit society in long run. Talented artists would create a work of historical or cultural art which are used as an educational resource that help people to approach them effectively. Moreover, utilizing art is the most effective way to maintain history and culture of a country which every country is trying to reserve. In addition, art galleries are the epitome of artists' production that attract enormous tourists around the world every year generating a considerable revenue in return. Obviously, it boosts national tourism industry.  
  
In conclusion, even though funding for artist takes a part government's budget away but it definitely is worthy. It not only gives artists a huge support to build their career but benefit the country itself.
I have to say, your reasoning paragraphs are well connected and clear to the reader. You have managed to properly portray your written response to the discussion instruction. While there are some English word and phrase usage that are incorrect or out of place in this presentation, these errors have not made the essay confusing to read. The reader will still be able to easily understand or figure out what it is you are trying to convey in the sentence / paragraph. No worries there.  
  
My main worry though, is in your lexical resource consideration. You have a tendency to mix up word usage such as these two:  
  
Most - in the greatest quantity, amount, measure, degree, or number:  
Almost - very nearly  
  
As you can see, both words have the word "most" in it, but convey different meanings. Therefore, you are not using the word in the proper manner, which can lower your LR score as this is based on your vocabulary skills or understanding of the meaning of English words. Other word errors include:  
  
- make out money - make money  
- clear their way - pay their way  
  
The final error in this presentation is the way that you structured the concluding presentation. The first sentence is confusing to read:  
  
... budget away ~~but~~ ( replace with a comma to show a continuing and connected thought sentence) , it definitely is worthy...
***One of the most important issues facing the world today is a shortage of food and some think genetically modified foods are a possible solution***  
  
## To what extent do you agree or disagree?

  
  
Nowadays, many countries have to face the problem of producing adequate food. And it is believed that the problems can be possibly solved by modifying foods genetically. While I agree that changing the gene of food can increase the quantity of it. I also believe that it has some drawbacks as it can affect the nutrient and reduce food's effectiveness.  
  
On the one hand, with the development of technology, scientists are capable of modifying the food genetically to increase the quantity of food. Nowadays, much research is being carried out to create seeds that are able to produce a large number of fruits. If we move forward, not only will we create the seeds that can produce more fruits but we can also create the seeds which are able to reduce the harvest time.  
  
On the other hand, artificial seeds or foods can have some drawbacks which can affect the nutrient inside the food. With the purpose to produce more food for people to eat, the nutrition of the food has been ignored. Eating the food without nutrients will affect our health and any motivation in modifying food genetically will be worthless. Not only that, if the food or seeds were able to hold the nutrient inside them and produce more food, the cost for them would be hard to afford. Especially the shortage of food seem to be the problem of many poor countries  
  
In conclusion, although modifying food genetically can be an effective way to produce the amount of food worldwide, people should consider using it as its drawbacks.
This essay will not get a passing score. I base that conclusion on the way that you changed the discussion points for the essay from the original. The presentation you have does not respond at all to the prompt requirements. Your discussion instructions changed in the paraphrase when compared to the original  
  
*Original Question: To what extent do you agree or disagree?  
Response: While I agree that changing the gene of food can increase the quantity of it. I also believe that it has some drawbacks as it can affect the nutrient and reduce food's effectiveness.*  
  
As you can see you changed the discussion response instruction from an extent essay ( I strongly support this statement based on the reasoning that...) to an Advantage./Disadvantage comparison discussion ( While I agree... I also believe that is has some drawbacks...). Therefore, the reviewer will immediately decide that your TA score must be on the failing side, which will make it difficult for you to get a passing score when you consider the other errors in the essay based on the scoring rubic.
## time spent on different daily household chores

  
  
***The chart shows the division of household tasks by gender in Great Britain. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.***  
  
The chart illustrates 6 categories of daily household chores that men and women do in different amounts of time in Great Britain.  
  
It is clear that females spend more hours doing housework than males do. Moreover, women tend to do certain tasks such as cooking, cleaning or washing while males prefer gardening, pet care or odd jobs.  
  
Women take 74 minutes per day to cook meals for their family. However, males do the same thing with only 30 minutes. When it comes to house tidying, taking care of their children or playing, women also take account of more time than men to complete those missions. The smallest number to do housework is 2 minutes, it is when males spend this time on washing and ironing. Meanwhile, females just spend at most 25 minutes for clothes.  
  
However, males would rather take more hours to take care of their gardens, pets and carry out some odd jobs. The highest time males spending on pets and plants is 49.5 minutes, roughly double females.  
  
*Thanks for your help in advance!*  
  
*