dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
The first problem with this essay that will almost definitely mean that you will not receive a passing score is, you did not meet the minimum word requirement of 250 words You have written only 203/250 words. Imagine the large percentage points that will be applied to your essay based on the missing word count alone. That will start off your scoring consideration in a failed basis immediately.  
  
The second problem, is that you have not clearly stated / explained your reasons in your discussion paragraphs. In the first one, you speak of self - consciousness and the need for teachers so that children will do homework. There is a problem with that presentation because a teacher's strictness will never be a compelling reason for a student to do his homework. If a student does not want to do the homework, he won't do it regardless of the strictness of the teacher. Also, you have failed to consider that in the current worldwide school setup, the students are more reliant on computers for their education rather than in-classroom teaching with a teacher present. These days, studies are modular in approach, which has negated the need for a teacher, but increased the need for computers.  
  
The discussion should also be based on personal experience and knowledge. That means, you cannot refer to a survey for your information. Just omit the reference to a source of the information and form the data to show that it is a personal opinion or personal knowledge.
Firstly, you need to pay more attention to the minimum word requirement of at least 250 words. Second, you should add your point of view from your personal experience or knowledge, if you use the information from a survey that you need to address where you get that. Next, students do not do their homework without the teacher's strictness that is right just for the Vietnamese students, if you use this point maybe the examiner couldn't agree with you. Finally, you ought to make more various grammar structures and tense for getting a high point.
## Internet usage in a graph

  
  
The bar graph gives information about how many people using the Internet in Greece , Denmark , Canada and the world average from 1998 to 2013.  
Overall, it is notable that Denmark and Canada had considerably more users than the others during the 15-year period. By contrast , the number of internet users in Greece was the lowest , which was close to the world average , but increased gradually just as both other countries did.  
  
Looking at the graph more closely , one can see that Denmark roughly quadruped from 23000 to 95000 people over 15 years . It ranked second in 1998 then had surpassed Canada by 2003 . After significant growth ,the figure for Canada increased slightly ,the nation's overall users expanded by more than threefold from 1998 to 2013 . Besides , Greece experienced 20000 new users every five years . Although the world average climbed went up by 30000 people , there was a widen gap between it and three other countries in the last period in question.
Please provide the graph next time. I cannot review your essay for proper content response without it. I am uncertain as to whether you properly addressed the requirements of the task or, if you did not provide a proper report at all because of the lack of reference point.  
  
The task 1 essay is composed of 3 paragraphs, no more than 175-190 words. While you wrote enough words to warrant a serious review of your work, the lack of proper formatting will be an issue for this essay. The summary overview appears to be incomplete in information presentation. There is no clear trending statement. The information provided does not have any clear reference points. Most importantly, there are only 2 paragraphs when you are required to 3 paragraphs for the task 1 essay.  
  
I will not comment on the content of the report at this point as there is no image with which to compare it to. I can do that next time, if you follow the forum rules and upload the image related to the report you have written. Please be aware of your punctuation usage and spacing when typing. You often have extra spaces between words and punctuation marks improperly placed that make the essay more difficult to read.
TOPIC:  
## Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject.

  
***To what extent do you agree or disagree?***  
  
Nowadays, people have equal opportunities and enjoy the rights of studying and selecting courses at school. Although I agree with the view of gender equality, I disagree with the notion that academic institutions receive a balanced number of boy and girl students in each course of study in schools. The reasons will be explained in the following essay.  
  
The main reason why I disagree with the view due to the fact that it is unrealistic. Each subject itself attracts different gender pupils. For example, female students are more interested in literature, while male students are more likely to select engineering as their major at universities. As students have distinct interests, which result in many courses occupying different gender ratios. This means that selecting subject matters is linked to a personal preference.  
  
Furthermore, it against the rights of people receiving education. Educators should not choose students by their genders but by their talent. Otherwise, pupils might be required to study a subject which is not suitable for them. To illustrate, if a female student reaches the score to study mechanical engineering, it would be a mistake to refuse her application due to exceeding the female student numbers in the faculty. An impractical measure would affect universities to select candidates with potential talent, consequently, it also affects students' rights of learning.  
  
In conclusion, despite having equal numbers of male and female students in every course might fulfill the belief of gender equality, both genders have diverse views when it comes to making a choice for their future studies. Thus, I believe it is hard to apply in the real world. (268 words)
Your prompt paraphrase is inaccurate. You have offered information that is not in the original prompt. Due to the shortness of the prompt, it is clear that you are given more room in the introduction to focus on the presentation of your discussion topics, rather than a long representation of the discussion topic and implied reasons. Hence the proper paraphrase would have been:  
  
*These days, there is a developing discussion regarding the tertiary education of students. It is said that colleges and universities should use a balanced ratio of men and women students in every major department. I do not agree with this suggestion as it goes against 2 of my beliefs about education. The first, is that education is a personal experience. The second, is that there students must be accepted in various courses based on talent and merit, rather than gender.*  
  
By clearly explaining that the original prompt merely made a statement, rather than making it appear that you were immediately asked to give a personal opinion by the original prompt, you are sticking to the information from the original, which is a requirement for the paraphrased presentation. Then, by offering a clear degree of disagreement with the statement based on your personal opinion, you will score higher in the TA section as your response opinion is not only clear, but supported by the discussion outline.  
  
As for the first reasoning paragraph, you should close it on a better note. At the moment, the last sentence, about the personal preference, could use some examples or an example to prove your point of view. Remember that you are being asked to speak from personal experience or public knowledge, so an example at that point would prove useful.  
  
In the second reasoning presentation, the last sentence also has a glaring LR error. You claim that is it an "impractical" measure. Impractical means; not useful. However, you are talking about something useful such as selecting candidates based on merit. So the word you are looking to use is practical, which means: useful. Such errors in word usage will have a lowering effect on your final LR score.  
  
You closed the essay on an open ending. There is no actual conclusion. The proper conclusion would have at least a 2 sentence, 40 word summary of your previous topic, and 2 reasons before you close with the "hard to apply in the real world" sentence.
## museums and art galleries in the modern world

  
  
Technology is becoming increasingly popular which affords chances to people can perceive historical objects or works of art through a computer. I tend to partly agree with this view for many reasons that will be discussion in this essay.  
  
First of all, maintaining a museum or a gallery of arts costs an enormous amount of money. In other words, governments and authorities often have to provide funding for institutions and allocate resources to keep open these facilities. Therefore, there are less money to spend in health, education or social services. In addition, nowadays, in order to save budgets, parts of the world opt for a mixed funding model for the arts. I believe that accession internet to view precious collections freely and immediately can reduce costs and time.  
  
On the other hand, while I approve that retaining museums or art galleries is unnecessary, I think if these facilities disappear, human will not have opportunities to see wonderful arts directly. Firstly, in my opinion, the buildings which house collections are part of our tangible cultural heritage. For instance, National gallery in Quang Ninh, Vietnam is striking and impressive. Additionally, people can not have the feeling of awe when they see the huge dinosaur skeletons. This is a valuable experience that will not have just by an image on computer.  
  
In conclusion, it is undeniable that maintaining museums or art galleries is an excessive thing, the expense of keeping them unlock can not be justified. What's more, looking at pictures of arts on computer screen may not possibly put heavy pressure on national budget.
Here are some corrections:  
-Technology is **increasingly** becoming ... people can ~~perceive~~  see or ...  
  
-to keep ~~open~~ these facilities open.  
  
Quick note: some synonyms of words can't fit in certain sentences like perceive, which means *to recognize, discern, envision, or understand*.  
  
1. that will be ~~discussion~~ discussed in this essay  
2. there ~~are~~ **is** less money to spend ~~in~~ **on** health  
3. ~~human~~ **humans** will not have ...  
4. while I ~~approve~~ ..better use I agree or I believe or I think  
5. an image on **a computer.**  
  
I hope this would help, and I apologize if there's any mistake in my points. I hope others will make better comments than mine. All the best!
The "I partly agree" response would make a good response in a measured extent essay. It is not applicable to a single opinion essay that gives you a response choice of agree or disagree. There is no "in-between" response because no such choice was offered. You have not discussed the essay in the proper format and as such, will find that you will get a failing score for 2 reasons:  
  
1. Your response does not address the task requirement (choice of agree OR disagree)  
2. There is no clarity to you actual opinion in the essay  
  
As such, the essay cannot be given a passing score. Most specially since you have shown a lack of ability to follow instructions as provided to you in the exercise. When you lack English comprehension skills so visibly, it is impossible for you to properly respond to, or write in the required format for the given essay theme and question.
Topic:  
***Most people have forgotten the meaning behind traditional or religious festivals; during festival periods, people nowadays only want to enjoy themselves.***  
## To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

  
  
These days, it is often argued that individuals no longer remember the underlying meaning of traditional or religious festivals, and during the festival time, people just want to have fun. While I agree that people do prioritize enjoyment at the festival, I disagree with the view that they have forgotten the festival's meaning.  
  
On the one hand, after a year of hard work, people look forward to festivals as a time to relax and take a break from busy life. For example, religious festivals like Christmas are often be seen as an excuse to party and shop, with people costume like Santa greetings in front of malls and playing with children. Similar behavior could be seen during some non-religious festivals, such as the Vietnamese Lunar New Year when all of the Vietnamese students are allowed to be absent from school, and their parent does not have to work, they often gathering around and decorating their homes, giving and receiving presents, as well as buying new clothes.  
  
On the other hand, I do not agree with the idea that the original meaning of festivals has been forgotten. This is because at an early age, Vietnamese offsprings have known about the meaning of their festivals and culture through their family. Additionally, in primary school, the teacher would tell students stories about the legend and the history of these festivals. For example, children in Vietnam are taught about the Lunar New Year's history and the reason for celebrating it. The same is true for festivals with a religious background, such as Christmas or buddha's birthdays, parents will tell their children the story behind these occasions.  
  
In conclusion, I believe not just because people often celebrate festivals with joyfulness, it would mean they have forgotten the festival's value.  
  
---------  
Thank you for reading my essay
You have not changed enough of the words from the original presentation to qualify your paraphrase as "an original in your own words". It uses mostly cut and paste keywords from the original. Which will pose a problem for your TA score as it will be judged as mostly memorized or cut and paste phrases. You are not responding properly to the question and have changed the discussion instruction in the process. The original question was "To what extent?" meaning a measured response with a single opinion. You decided to create your own discussion instruction by responding in a comparative manner. Therefore, these TA errors alone will ensure a failing score for your essay. That failing score will be based on your response which barely responds to the task requirement because you failed to deliver a clear position on the given discussion. I do not have to review your essay any further at this point. The more errors I find, the clearer it becomes that you do not have a properly developed discussion presentation. That means, this presentation may not even get close to a passing score in an actual test.
## technology and socialising

  
  
It is true that the young generation these days is most likely to use social networks or other online platforms for meeting others instead of face-to-face, which makes so many conveniences. Some people believe that it will bring negative effects to young people including me. On the other hand, to encourage those for restricting this bad habit, if it has the school education and family care.  
  
School education plays an important role in organizing students' mindsets and communicating way with others. For encouraging teenagers, school education needs to pay more attention to the activity point in school instead of completing the academic point. In addition, they should generate more and more school activities. For example, the English contest, invention competition, culture exchange,... In this way, that not only helps students improve their social connection with others in person but also can enhance their physical and mental statements comprehensively. Moreover, teachers ought to take care of their children if they are abusing technology platforms and teach them how important face-to-face communication is.  
  
To be similar, the family should be a good pattern because of the strong impression of their children. They should create opportunities for their children's outside activities. For instance, generating family outdoor activities such as picnics, going fishing, that will make the family be closed and avoid their teenagers abusing technology so much. The parents have to often talk to their children after school or dinner for creating a good habit to share with others in person.  
  
Teenagers could not resist the attraction of technology, especially with purposes for meeting with others. It has a negative for children's development. To solve this issue that needs support from school education and family.
Okay, you are misdirecting the discussion. You cannot make claims not included in the original prompt. If you review the original presentation, you will not see any indication that the prompt is referring to the study as a definitive truth. Since there is no basis for such a claim in your prompt restatement, you cannot deliver that information as a fact. In fact, you cannot mention it at all since it is not a part of the original presentation. The clarity of your opinion and the veracity of your prompt restatement is based only on your ability to rephrase the discussion without adding information, making false claims, or giving opinions where none is required.  
  
Another problem with your presentation is that you have decided to discuss the negative effects of online socialization. When you review the original questions provided for your response, the first question asked actually was:  
  
*Why do you think this is the case?*  
  
So discussing the negative effects does not respond properly to the question provided. Then the second question was:  
  
*What measures could be taken to encourage teenagers to spend more time meeting one another in person?*  
  
However, for your second discussion topic, you chose to respond with a nonsensical response. Nonsensical in the sense that the sentence you created does not have any sense or meaning when read by a native English speaker:  
  
*...to encourage those for restricting this bad habit, if it has the school education and family care.*  
  
Basically, the essay will be judged as delivering a response that is totally unrelated to the task. Therefore, based on this response, I do not believe that you can get a passing score. Why will it not pass? You failed to show that you understood the prompt discussion topic and requirements. A lack of English comprehension skills will indicate that you will not be able to perform as a student in your target university.  
  
This reason alone should be the focus of your problem with this presentation because it is the biggest problem you have. That is aside from sentence structure, grammar range, cohesiveness and coherence problems, and other errors that will further prevent you from getting a passing score.
## factors to be successful in sport

  
  
Recently, there have been many dabates surrounding whether human's physical or mental ability is crucial in order to be successful in sport. Whereas many people advocate physical strength, others claim that mental strength is more vital. From my standpoint, I believe that each of these view has its own reasons but personally, I support the second view.  
  
To begin with, there is no denying in that to succeed in sport, people need physical strength. As we all know, a strong physical condition is essential in our ordinary life, we need it in working, studying, exercising, playing,... almost every aspect. This importance multiples when it comes to sport competitions. In order to achieve their goal, athletes have to train continuously to improve their physical abilities because in their head, these athletes know that a good physique is extremely vital for success. This has motivated them to train everyday, pushed them to do things that no other can.  
  
A good physical condition is undeniably important, but is it more crucial than a stable mentality? The answer is no. According to a survey, in their training process, many athletes have to deal with a giantic amount of stress, they have to cope with anxiey, frustration, depression,... and other mental issues. This has prevented them, these athletes with exceptional physical abilities, from winning. Therefore, it is clear that a healthy mental condition is vital for success, and probably more crucial than a good physique. Back to the athletes with unstable mental health, if they had stopped for a bit during training, let themselves rest mentally, found ways to solve their problems, they could've performed better. From this we can see that people need to pay more attention to their mentality because it is important and deserved more recognition.  
  
To sum up, both physical and mental strength are vital in order to be successful in sport. However, in many cases, a stable mental health is more crucial than a strong physique and people should focus more on their mentality.
Good discussion. Bad presentation format. The format says discuss both points of view, THEN present your own opinion. The way that you presented this discussion shows a singular point of view. No, referring to a survey does not represent the other point of view. No, using the word "we" does not represent the public point of view. These all represent a personal opinion in first person form. That is not the correct approach to take in this essay.  
  
For each public point of view you must use the third person pronoun to explain their discussion reason in the paragraph. For example:  
  
*There are people that believe physical strength is more important in sports. They base this opinion on the understanding that... I would like to counter this opinion based on my personal understanding that... For example... Hence my opposition to this belief.  
  
Now, there are those who say that mental strength is more important. Their specific explanation for supporting this idea is that... In my point of view... This is based upon...  
  
Therefore when one consider the discussion of... Considering (point 1) and (point 2), I am of the opinion that...*  
  
It is better to show an analytical method of discussion, giving a personal opinion for each point of view, with a strong support for one and a strong opposition for the other. That way, you cover both requirements of the discussion format, the public explanation and the personal opinion.  
  
By the way, you can only use one punctuation mark in a sentence. You cannot use both. I do not know why but a very common problem for exam takers these days is the successive use of a comma and the ellipses. This is a violation of punctuation usage rules and should not be done in academic, creative, or informal paper presentations. Use only one punctuation mark at a time or risk getting severe GRA scoring deductions in the actual test.
Please help!! It's my task 1:  
  
## number of visitors in some caribbean island

  
  
The graph demonstrates the quantiity of visitors to a particular Caribbean island between 2012 and 2017 in three different lines: Visitors dtaying on cruise ships, on island and tthe total. Overall, there were many changes throughout the period.  
  
The most striking point is that, despite many differences in visitors' choice of living places among the period, the total of them gradually increased and reached its peak of 3.5 millions in the end. At first, the number of visitors staying on iland was 0.75 millions, which was 0.5 millions higher than that of visitors staying on cruise ships. Additionally, after two years, it had risen to 1.5 millions, contributed ¾ to the total. Hence, it remained the same for three years and lost the higher position to the other category. Quantity of visitors staying on cruise ships, in contrast, had an unstable proccess in the first three years. After that, it had risen dramatically and took the bigger contribution of 2 millions in 2017  
  
Briefly, although the number of visitors staying on island had always being the higher for the fisrt five years, the other category had had an noticeable rise in the last two years, taking the bigger contribution  
  
*