dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
*Question: Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems.  
To what extend you you agree or disagree with this statement.*  
  
## adapt to new environment by learning local language

  
  
Nowadays, there has been a trend in which people tend to go abroad to study and work. As a result, they must speak a foreign language. Some people argue that speaking a language other than a person's mother tongue may lead to some worth-considering social problems as well as practical problems. I totally agree with this statement.  
  
One of the biggest difficulties of immigrants living overseas is language barriers. If a person is incapable of speaking the widely-used language in a country, he is likely to face troubles immersing himself into the new environment. He may find himself helpless and un able to deal with daily simple activities such as talking with neighbors, going shopping, contacting banks and local governments. In addition, the lack of foreign language ability may possibly result in misunderstanding or even cultural conflicts which may marginalize him from the local society. Even worse, some people even violate local regulations because of their illiteracy, they cannot read and understand the regulations to follow the rules.  
  
In addition, poor verbal and written communication in the foreign language may be the main cause of high rate of unemployment among immigrants. A vast majority of immigrants cannot apply for high-paid decent jobs since most of these jobs requires language competence. Also, illiteracy and language misunderstanding may lead to mental health problems such as stress and depression. Therefore, language plays a crucial part in enabling a person to integrate into a new environment.  
  
In conclusion, to adapt to new environment well, immigrants should be able to communicate well in the language spoken in their localities. Lack of foreign language ability may cause multiple troubles to any person living in a foreign country. Therefore, before deciding to relocate in a foreign country, people should learn the language beforehand.
Crystal, all of your reasoning paragraphs only present talking points but no actual explanation of the talking points. These presentations will be seen as contributing to the under development of your essay response and as such, will be seen as the cause of the lack of coherence and cohesiveness in the paragraph presentations. The end result will be a lowered C&C score. To avoid the lowering of the C&C score, avoid presenting multiple reasons next time. Just present one discussion topic then fully explain and support that topic within the remaining 4 sentences, there are after all, 5 sentence allotted per paragraph.  
  
The concluding paragraph you used was a suggestion on how language barriers can be overcome. That is not a requirement of the prompt and will be seen as a prompt deviation, causing you to have a lower than the minimum word count. There will be points deducted for that deviation. You should only summarize the prompt and reasoning paragraphs in the concluding summary, ending it with a closing sentence. In this instance, you presented a hanging discussion as it does not properly sum up the discussion points based on the required presentation.  
  
The essay has potential. Your writing shows a clear understanding of the English language and an extensive vocabulary. You just had a tendency to under discuss and also present an unwarranted opinion. These errors can affect your final score so avoid these mistakes in the future.
## climate change - the problem to solve

  
  
There is a school of thought that believes that people don't need to avoid unpredictable climate. While reasons can be given to justify this, I would agree with that individuals should find solutions to deal with climate change.  
  
On the one hand, there are those who assert that people should find ways to live with erratic climate. The reasons for this may include in countries, where industrial development is the top priorities. The government in those countries only aim to the economic goal, because they don't want their country to be left behind others. As a result, they use overload natural resources. In the absence of technologies, those countries have difficulties in balancing the economy and the environment.  
  
On the other hand, I side with those who contend that people should prevent climate change. The first argument is that unpredictable climate results in consequences that affect people in a negative way. For example, the ultra violet radiation may cause health problems in people, specially skin cancers. There are some evidence about that almost all skin cancers are caused by too much UV radiation from the sun. Another justification is that climate change has an impact on many aspects in society. For economic side, droughts last long, which makes farmers unable to harvest their crops. This leads to agriculture products decreases and there is a decline in the GDP. The temperature is higher today than in the past, which has a following influence in the level of water in ocean. Consequently, a large number of forests and accommodations are lost. The government has to allocate the budget to support individuals who suffer from those loss.  
  
In conclusion, although some citizens think people may live with unstable climate, I firmly believe that what people should do is finding ways to prevent unpredictable climate.
Doung. the word "are" is used to denote the plural form of "is". The term "evidence" is in singular form. The plural form is "evidences". Therefore, to say "there are evidence" is incorrect. You need to say "there is evidence" since you are referring to only one piece of evidence in the sentence. Since you are writing an academic paper, avoid using contractions such as "don't" because it connotes a relaxed or casual method of writing. It is not academically respectful to the reader. While you will not lose points for contractions, it would still be better to spell out the word as in "do not" to indicate knowledge of proper sentence structure in an academic setting.  
  
Please practice writing these essays with a timer. That way you can find out if you can actually write and edit 300 words within the allotted 40 minutes. Remember, within that time frame you need to outline your discussion points, draft your essay, review and correct the content, then finalize for submission. You may just find that 40 minutes will not be enough to get the job done with over 300 written words.  
  
This is a single opinion essay. Therefore, both reasoning paragraphs should only deal with the supporting evidence of your agreement with the statement. It should not be a comparison discussion because you are not being asked to discuss both points of view, just a single opinion. That will lower your TA score because you deviated from the expected discussion format.
## EVALUATION OF SOCIAL MEDIA EFFECTS

  
  
Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks.  
Do you think that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?  
  
Social media has become a part and parcel of today's way of living. Social media is being used by not only by young people, but large portion of older generation are getting involved. However there are rising concerns that people's information is being misused by various individuals and organizations without their consent. This essay will first discuss the social media's benefits and then the disadvantage it brings to us, namely our information that is publicly available for others to misuse. I argue that, overall, social media brings more advantages than the disadvantages; however, we need to be educated how to protect our data.  
  
Social media is one of the best by product of the internet. We can communicate with our all our friends and family instantaneously all around the global. We can share information with all of them, discuss our ideas and opinions while being thousands of miles apart from each other. Social media also has had helped people in time of emergencies and in need moral support. The Information we decide to post on our social media is critical for others to understand us better. Without it social media is meaningless; same as not talking would be for face-to-face interaction. For example, in the study of 20,000 users of Facebook around different countries, from the period 2010-2018, showed that people were more content and happy with their lives than those who didn't use social media at all.  
  
However, using social media has caused profound concern for data misuse. When we use social media, our information is there for the public to see. Whatever we post, there is always a risk that people who don't like us, can use the information to hurt or humiliate us. Furthermore, the social media companies regularly share information with advertisers so that they can better understand our buying patterns, our beliefs, interests etc. and promote their products or services through advertisements on these social media platforms. In the report published by FBI in 2017, up to 90% of social media users' data had been shared with third parties advertising companies without their knowledge. The report also found that 80% of all homicides, the killers used social media of the victims for their acts.  
  
In the end, I do believe that Social media brings more benefits compared to its negatives. The key is to post information which is not too personal and is only shared to close friends and family. Additionally, we can always implement strict privacy settings to our profiles, which will help prevent data misuse.  
  
40 min essay, but I took 1 hour. I am practicing. I am improving my time management.  
  
Can you mark me on  
  
Task Achievement.  
Coherence and Cohesion.  
Lexical Resource (Vocabulary)  
Grammatical Range and Accuracy.  
  
In your opinion give me your IELTS band score out of 9.  
Thank you.
Zoheb, I am not going to mark you on any of the scoring bases because what you wrote is not a task 2 essay but a research paper. Which means this essay is automatically going to fail in an actual test setting. There is absolutely no way this kind of writing, though academic, will pass the test. You have written the essay without referring to any examples as to how you may approach the writing of this type of essay question, which is why you ended up making this fatal error in your writing style.  
  
You wrote 422 words, even with a speed typist, this number of words will be too much for a 40 minute task. You should not write more than 25 lines of 300 words at the most. The essay obviously uses researched information rather than personal knowledge or experience. In which case you have not written an opinion paper but a research paper. Task 2 essays only require personal knowledge, reasoning, and opinions. You do not have access to internet sources at the testing center, regardless of whether you use the pen and paper or computer based test. This style of research dependent writing will result in the failure of your paper.  
  
I cannot review the rest of your paper because you have not adhered to the basic test writing requirements which are:  
  
1. A proper prompt paraphrase (restatement of the topic and discussion instruction)  
2. Reasoning paragraphs based on personal knowledge and/or opinions  
3. Concluding summary  
  
It will be better if you first review the sample Task 2 essays located in this forum before you start writing another practice test. Don't review blindly. That is how you fail. Look at how others do the work, learn from their mistakes, apply it to your own work. It should not take you more than 10 minutes to outline the paper, take 20 minutes to draft, and 10 minutes to finalize the content. Do not, I repeat, do not do research. You cannot do that in the testing center.
## receiving forgotten wallet back

  
  
You have just spent a week with a friend on holiday. When you got home, you realized that you had left your wallet there.  
Write a letter to your friend. In your letter:  
1) Thank your friend for the holiday  
2)Explain that you left your wallet in their place.  
3)Give them instruction of how to send it back to you.  
  
Dear Rudolph  
  
I have reached home safely and hope you are doing great back home. I am writing this letter to tell you that i had a great week with you during my holiday, but unfortunately i forgot my wallet at your place.  
  
Firstly i would like to appreciate the hospitality which you offered during the week at your place. But while i was leaving back to my house i forgot to pick my wallet. As far as i remember the last time i saw my wallet was in the drawer which is in the left side of the closet in your room. The color of the wallet is beige, mid-sized and of Arrow brand. It had my important identity proofs like PAN, DL, etc. and $ 200.  
  
I will be very thankful to you if you send it back urgently as i have to travel in two weeks. You can send it through Fastrack courier services, they charge very nominal and they have a turnaround time of a week. I will request you to use the money from my wallet and you have to post it to my old address which is 21, old baker street, westmeister, 1334655.  
  
I look forward to receiving the wallet and hearing from you at your earliest convenience.  
  
Thank You  
Wiley
Dear Harman8484,  
Please don't use "i". You should use capital letter "I" in stead.  
As far asI remember the last time I saw ... which is **on** the left side ...  
  
The verb "send" need 2 objects: for example: send it back to me.  
Don't use you have to post it to my old address. use "should" instead of have to in this sentence.  
Hope my feedback will help.  
Happy writing  
Crystal
## IELTS writing task 1- Cam 11 - Test 1

  
  
Question:  
The charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world.  
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.  
Write at least 150 words.  
  
The pie charts describe the water consumption rates in six regions of the world, divided into three categories namely industrial use, agricultural use and domestic use. Overall, patterns of water consumption in North America and Europe share a similar affinity while those of water consumption in the four other regions varied.  
  
In North America and Europe, the water used for industry kept the highest figures accounting for half of the total use of water (48% and 53% respectively), followed by the proportions of water used in agriculture making up roughly one-third of the total water consumption (39% and 32% respectively). By contrast, the proportions of water used for agriculture held the lowest rates of the total (13% and 15% respectively).  
  
With regard to the other four regions, it is noticeable that the largest portions of water use were for agriculture, dominating the total water consumption (71%, 81%, 84% and 88% of agricultural use of water for South America, Southeast Asia, Africa and Central Asia respectively). However, no more than 12% of water used for industrial purposes in these four regions and only South America had the percentage of household water consumption of more than 10%. And, the remainder three regions had the domestic use rates of well under 10% which was in stark contrast with those of North America and Europe.
Crystal, due to the lack of image, I cannot review your essay for relevance to the image. I can only do a simple grammar check for this essay, point out the problem points, and offer you corrections regarding that. Please make sure to upload the image next time you decide to ask for a review of your work at this forum. The image is a requirement and is not optional if you want a complete review for your work.  
  
An Oxford comma is required when you enumerate a series of inter-related words. The Oxford comma is a comma used before the word "and" that indicates the last word in the list. it helps to organize the sentence presentation and clarifies the end point of the discussion. By the way, you cannot say "remainder" because that word is a mathematical term that means "remaining". The proper word format is "the remaining regions" since you are not referring to a mathematical equation.  
  
Please remember that the word "and" is used after a verb or used to introduce a verb in an existing sentence. It is used as a connector. Since there is nothing to be connected at the start of a sentence, it is not proper to use the word to start a sentence. In addition to that, there are no optional information included in the image, so you must never enclose information in a parenthesis. That indicates that the information is not important or optional. It should always be presented as a major part of the paragraph presentation as information of note from the image.  
  
I will end my review at this point. I cannot go further because I cannot review your content and prompt accuracy without the image. That is why the image is always required for Task 1 reviews at this forum.
## roads to the hospital in 2007 and 2010

  
  
The two maps illustrate some changes in the way people accessed the city hospital in two different years 2007 and 2010.  
It is evident that the main differences in road to this hospital involve intersection upgrades and the development of parking spaces and bus facilities.  
According to both maps, city hospital was surrounded by Ring Road, which still remain. Whereas, the most notable changes were the separate of car park. Staff car park stay still as in 2007, as well as public car park appear on the map of 2010 located on the east-side of the city hospital. The additional feature was a new bus station to the western side of the hospital road which replaced the six bus stops situated along this road. The further addition feature was the appearance of two roundabouts. The first one was constructed at the three-way junction of Ring Road, while the second one was at intersection of city road. Those of which could lead to the bus station.  
  
*
Thu, your essay meets the word count but not the paragraph count. Each comparison points for the two maps should be separated by a completely developed paragraph. There should be a total of 4 paragraphs composed of 3-5 sentences. Each paragraph should be completely developed and discussed within the sentence requirement. Your essay only enumerates the content of the illustrations. It does not compare nor contrast the presentation of the image as this type of comparison essay is often expected to present.  
  
Don't just enumerate the information. Split it up into individual presentations so that you can write around 200 words. That is the number of words that should normally be written when doing a comparison essay. Try to truly analyze the illustration and look for less obvious information to report. That helps to increase your score overall.  
  
Make sure to present the 4 paragraph requirement. The Task 1 essay can never be written in only one paragraph. Writing only one paragraph will surely decrease the individual scoring considerations and result in an unsatisfactory final score for you.
## different reasons for multilingualism

  
  
**Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn foreign language. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.**  
  
There is no doubt that language has played an integral role in creative thinking of civilizations. While some people are of the view that a foreign language is necessary only to travel and work in a foreign country, others argue that it should not be limited to these two criterions only. I tend to agree with the latter view and in this essay, I will elaborate on it.  
  
Firstly, language becomes a major hurdle for people who travel to foreign countries for work or otherwise. They are unable to communicate with the local community which results in them being confused, lonely and feel like an outsider. Whereas, if they have learnt the language then they become better equipped to intermingle with the natives of the country and adapt to their culture and customs. Working there becomes less of a fuss for them and they build good relations with their colleagues and neighbors.  
  
Nevertheless, the horizon for learning a new language should not just end there. There are many people who are enthusiastic for it. They have a passion to learn languages and it drives them to pursue it wholeheartedly. Furthermore, learning a foreign language enables a person to befriend people over the internet and get an insight of their culture and world views. For instance, a lot of marriages have taken place in the last decade following the couples meeting over the internet and learning each other's languages and cultures.  
  
In conclusion, Although some people argue that travelling and working in a foreign country are the only reasons to learn a new language, I strongly believe that there are many other avenues to explore for example making friends online and building strong bonds as well as following passion of new languages for some people who end up becoming teachers.
Ashraf, your essay did not address the prompt discussion correctly. One only has to compare the original discussion instruction with your paraphrase of the same line to see why you failed to address the task effectively:  
  
*Original Instruction: Discuss both these views and give your opinion.  
Paraphrase: I tend to agree with the latter view and in this essay, I will elaborate on it.*  
  
You forgot that this is a 3 reasoning paragraph essay composed of:  
1. POV 1  
2. POV 2  
3. Personal opinion  
  
Your discussion went straight for the last discussion point instead, which created a tangential response for the essay. Therefore, you will only be scored for the area of the essay that you did respond to, with points deducted for not addressing the first 2 discussion points. Due to the deductions, it may be extremely difficult for your essay to receive passing marks.  
  
In addition to this problem, you also failed to completely paraphrase the original discussion. The following phrase: "to travel and work in a foreign country" is a cut and paste from the original. You need to change the total presentation of the original prompt. That means you cannot use even a few words from the first version of the discussion presentation. Use your own words to create a new and unique paraphrasing presentation.  
  
While the problems of your essay seem minimal, these errors actually have the power to fail you in the testing process. Be aware of what the prompt requirements are and discuss accordingly. Create totally new presentations of the original discussion as well to show your English comprehension and LR skills.
## adopting animals from a rescue center

  
  
Data related to animals adopted from an animal rescue center in Madison, Wicousin between 1990 and 2000 is revealed in the diagram. Overall, there is a significant change in the number of dogs and cats whereas the number of Birds and Reptiles has small fluctuation.  
  
As the graph shows, Dogs and Cats shared the firts rank with each other. The figures of dogs decreased dramatically. They reached their peak during ten year period in 1990, around 560 adoptions. Dog adoptions drop to 480 in 1992, continue to drop until 1998 and remain stable in 2000. Besides, the number of cats increased considerably. From 320 adoptions in 1990, there is a doubling in their numbers ten years later, around 640 adoptions.  
  
On the other hand, there's almost a levelling off at Birds and Reptiles adoptions. Over ten years, they keep to be ranked at the last and their figures is around 100 adoptions.The number of Birds and Reptiles in 1990 is about 110 adoptions which is the same as that in 1996. Not long afterwards, the figures turn to exactly 100 adoptions.  
  
*