dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
***Topic:  
Some people believe that it is good for students to have the same teacher for several years. Others think students benefit more from having new teachers each year. Which do you think is better?  
  
## Give specific reasons to support your opinion.***  
  
It woule be argued that there are many benefits for students taught by the same teachers in a long time. In my opinion, I believe that it is of use for students studying with different teachers in each semester.  
  
On the one hand, there are several number of reasons why some believe that it is beneficial for children to study with the same teacher. People said "old but gold", it means similar teachers teaching over the years can understand the abilities of every single students in their class, then they easily give the appropriate teaching methods for their undergraduates and vice versa. For example, according to literature majors, they feel comfortable studying with the only educator until the end of course. Those who teach from the beginning have effects on how student study and even solve problems afterward.  
  
On the other hand, I believe that learners should be taught by different teachers of a subject. Distinct teachers help students exposure to a variety of learning experiences. For instance, to teach English, each teacher designs their own teaching methods such as: playing games, watching TV, singing English songs, play roles and so on. From these activties of teachers in the same subject, student find more excited and get curious about the new things in their life rather than the familiar ones. Once students have their own experience, they will know what and who would be the best for them, then they can make a decision on studying in a long time with a teacher.  
  
In conclusion, although some stick to the idea of not changing teachers in a long term, I follow my perspective that it is more advantageous for students to study with different teachers.
Your prompt restatement is not very clear. It does not reflect an understandable version of the original topic. However, your response to the direct question is correct. One other problem though, you should have divided the discussion topic presentation into 2 sentences, just as it was presented in the original prompt. You have to do that to meet the minimum sentence requirement of 3 sentences per paragraph, no more than 5 sentences each.  
  
The examiner will deduct points from your word count because you turned the direct response essay into a comparative essay. Since you were asked to provide a specific response to a given question, which you did provide in the last part of the prompt restatement, the paragraph that does not relate directly to your response will not be scored. Rather, the word count for that paragraph will be deducted from the total word count, resulting in your essay coming in at less than 250 words. You will not be given a scoring consideration for the unrelated paragraph. Percentage points deductions will be applied for the missing word count which was the result of the unrelated discussion paragraph.
**IELTS Cambridge 13 test 2 writing task 1: bar chart on households owning and renting accommodation**  
  
## Analysis of the bar chart

  
  
Thanks you for giving any feedback or comments. I am not really sure whether my essay is appropriate or not, especially for my structure. So, please give me suggestions on improving my writing. Thanks a lot again!:)  
  
1) The bar chart illustrates the share of households in owned and rented accommodation in England and wales from 1918 to 2011.  
  
2) It is noticeable that there appeared to be a clear upward trend in the percentage of households renting accommodation over the period shown. However, the percentage of households in owned accommodation presented an opposite trend.  
  
3) In 1918, the percentage of households in rented accommodation was nearly 76%, and it fell by approximately 45% to 31% in 2001. By contrast, the lowest percentage of households in owned accommodation occurs in 1918, while the percentage of households in rented accommodation reached a peak. The percentage of households in owning was the maximum in 2001, with the percentage going up by roughly 46% to nearly 70%.  
  
4) Households in owned accommodation and in rented accommodation reached the same level in 1971, which was 50%. From 2001 to 2011, there was a slight dip in the percentage of households owning accommodation, while the percentage of households in rented accommodation showed a modest increase by nearly 5% to 75%.  
  
(174 words)
I think you are showing me the outline of your report prior to your using an essay format for it? This is a good way to outline your presentation, but, it could prove to be a problem later on you used the outline form for your paragraph content. You may find it difficult to form it into a complete paragraph because you separated too much information instead of grouping the related information. Sadly, you did not upload the image so I cannot review your essay for content responsiveness and proper data reporting. Kindly remember to present the image next time, it will help me review your essay in a more complete manner. As for the word count, you used enough words to get a better scoring consideration. However, using the numerical format for a task 1 essay is incorrect so you will definitely not pass the test using this format. You have to use the paragraph format for your presentation because the report requires comparative analysis and data accuracy presentations.
## Televised talent shows have become popular in many societies today.

  
***Are these shows a good method of finding talented people, or are they just entertainment?***  
  
In this day and age, people in many countries have been familiar with talent competitions on television. There are those who argue that these shows are an great approach for hunting the veiled talents, while others oppose the view and claim that they are nothing but amusement. In the following discussion I will show both the points have some merits.  
  
Looking back on the past, people used not to have a lot of opportunities to manifest their natural ability. It is a different experience when these days anyone can participate in a talent contest no matter who they are or where they are from. These competitions are seemingly a golden platform for common people to show their hidden talent, turn their dreams into reality, and help them ultimately change from 'ordinary' people to 'well-known' figure. What is more, the competitors have the chance to receive worthy rewards from the shows like "The Voice", "Road to Mount Olympia", "Vietnam's Got Talent"... Also, they can even become country's delegate to go in for international arena with the aim of bringing fame to their own country in the competitions such as "The Brain", "Miss Universe"... Therefore, it is probably that the televised competitions is a positively good way to find gifted people.  
  
On the other hand, in my opinion, the televised shows have achieved entertaining purpose greatly. Firstly, participants can have a whale of a time when joining in the contests, even if they are not winners. In addition, the amusement from these shows such as comedy, music... may bring chirky relaxing moments for viewers so as to refresh themselves after a busy day. Also, the more people enjoy the shows, the higher the ratings are and consequently, the broadcaster can earn more financial profits. As for me, it is probably an appropriate circle.  
  
In conclusion, I am convinced that talent contests on television are a good way as a mean to look for hidden talents. Moreover, they could also be a really entertaining way for people who want to relax or want to give it a try intending to challenge themselves.  
  
*(Please give me your advice for my essay. Thank you guys so much!)*
Try not to use words that do not have a direct relationship or have a different meaning from the original word. In this case, you used the word "hunting" in reference to the original word "finding". The more proper term would have been "scouting", which is what these talent shows do. They "scout" for new talent. The definition of the word scout is "to make a search".  
  
Now, the original prompt is asking you decide between one of two things:  
1. Talent shows are a good method of finding people;  
2. Talent shows are just for entertainment.  
  
You are being required to choose one of the 2 possible responses to the given discussion topic. You should have chosen only one topic to discuss as the instructions did not ask you to "compare" or "discuss the advantage or disadvantage" of the given topic. You were to pick one side of the discussion to defend in the essay. The later part of the essay, where you finally decided to pick a side to discuss, should have been the sole point of view being discussed throughout the essay. The comparative discussion was unnecessary and lowered your scoring potential.  
  
As you can see, writing 349 words did not help your essay because you did not provide the discussion requirements and format as indicated in the original prompt. Writing more words will not help if you are not prompt adherent based on the scoring guidelines of the original discussion.
## urban vs rural life

  
  
**It is thought by some that it is better to live in a city while others believe that life is better in the countryside. Discuss both sides and give your opinion**  
  
There has always been a debate between urban and rural life. Some people opine that it is better to live in a town, others refute this and believe that village life is more suitable and I agree with them. This essay will outline both views and explain my view for the latter.  
  
On the one hand, those who believe that city life is better would argue that it offers more entertaining life. This is because cities have a number of social-clubs and events happening around the year in which one can participate to take a break from the busy work-schedule. For instance, it is common for the cities to have golfclubs where one can pay to play for having a quality time. Not only this, city lives also offers more facilities for individuals in everyday life. For example, there are wide-variety of hospitals available in proximities and numerous fitness facilities to assist in having a healthy life. In contrast, city lives lack both entertainment options and facilities for individuals.  
  
On the other hand, In my view, countyside life is more preferable due to relaxing and peaceful atmosphere. For illustration, most houses in countryside are deattached and there are not much people in proximity, which means less disturbance and more peace. This is a significant advantage in contrast to urban areas where most houses are in close vicinity and streets are heavily crowded. Additionally, there are more trees and less vehicles in villages making them less polluted, therefore, offering relaxing atmosphere. As a result, people living in countrysides are less prone to respiratory diseases.  
  
In conclusion, despite the entertaining life and facilities that the city life presents, I believe, it is more beneficial to live in countryside because of relaxation and peace it offers in everyday life.
You cannot offer an agreement with the given discussion points in the opening statement. Based on the comparative discussion essay format for this essay, your opinion may only be formulated after you have discussed the public opinion of both points of view. So, you have an incomplete discussion presentation here. Of the two public points of view, you only discussed one. You used a personal point of view immediately for the other reason provided. The personal point of view is the last reasoning paragraph in this presentation. You have to explain the public opinion of the 2 discussion reasons first and then present your personal opinion. You cannot use you personal opinion immediately to explain the 2nd public point of view. That is because of the public points of view are provided with a reasoning topic in the original prompt. So you have to make sure that you represent an explanation for the provided reasons first. Otherwise, the basis for your personal opinion reasoning becomes confusing and with little foundation in the public point of view to support it.
I know it's too long...I didn't count the number of words as I wrote but may I know if marks will be deducted because of this? If you're a teacher, please help grade it too. Thanks for all of your help!  
  
## starvation phenomenon in the modern world

  
  
**Question:** In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this is case? What can be done about this problem?  
  
**My answer:**  
It appears that despite the improvements in farming over the past decades, famine remains an inevitable issue across the globe, especially in developing countries. The endeavours of the top scientists put in to ameliorate this situation are seemingly not paying off. This essay points out the causes of this and its possible solutions.  
  
One major reason behind this phenomenon is the misconception of the word 'equity', which is often mixed up with 'equality'. While the latter emphasises on everyone receiving equal amounts of items, equity focuses on allowing everybody to get the amount they need. Although advances are made in agriculture, countries are merely following the concept of 'equality', distributing the extra yield of crops and food to developed and developing countries equally, thereby not narrowing the disparity in number of crops received by powers. In other words, countries vulnerable to starvation are still prone to it. Therefore, improvements made in this industry does not alleviate this problem.  
  
Moreover, advances and new technologies are mostly in rich countries which further exacerbates the problem. Many farmers in developing countries lack the know-how of utilising the advancements, nor have they received much aid from developed countries. As a result, they remain heavily dependent on the exports of rich powers but due to the low capital, they are unable to buy much. This becomes a vicious cycle in which those suffering from famine and poverty never get to improve their quality of life.  
  
Everything is better late than never; so is putting a solution into action. To tackle a problem, the prerequisite is to target the causes. Hence, the very first step is to promote the idea of equity. When governments are willing to distribute the extra food and resources to assist poorer countries, if you are citizens they will experience starvation. They will also be able to increase the GDP and in turn, provide aids to developed countries. Besides, the corporation of all nations is imperative and should be encouraged. More countries will be benefitted, with the famine problem also ameliorated.  
  
In short, should countries make every endeavour to confront this from its root causes, starvation will be reduced and improvements in agriculture will belong to every nation of the world.  
  
(369 words, 37.5 mins)
Again, grading cannot be done on your essay as it is not part of our free review services. Opt for our private review or urgent services to gain access to scoring review for your work. Students cannot score other students essays because they will find their accounts automatically suspended for violating forum regulations. Students cannot score essays for one another.  
  
In response to your question, no, you will not receive points deductions for writing more than the word count. However, writing more than 290 words will open you to more errors in the overall scoring consideration. These are errors that you should have spotted and corrected had you left at least 5 minutes to double check your presentation before submission. In your essay, you made 8 errors covering grammar, clarity, vocabulary, formal grammar issues.  
  
There was no need to specify "especially in developing countries" and the efforts of scientists because that was not indicated in the original prompt. You should not indicate any information not found in the original presentation as those are considered deviations which could adversely affect your score. Do not add information, but do not offer less information than stated in the original either. Just stick to the original facts for your restatement. That and a proper topic outline for the discussion reasons would also help you stay on point better than you did in this presentation.  
  
Your overwriting has to do with your use of run-on sentences in most of your paragraphs. That is not a very good way of getting around the 3-5 sentence per paragraph requirement. When you write a run-on, the clarity and coherence of the paragraph is affected. Keep the information short and summarized whenever you can. The paragraph should only contain:  
  
- The topic sentence  
- Reason for the topic  
- Example to support the topic  
- Additional explanation  
- Transition to the next discussion topic  
  
Keep the essay simple so that you can have enough time after drafting to double check your errors, correct the errors, and polish your content. That is how you get a higher band score, not by over discussing or creating run on sentences. You should also know that unless a personal opinion is required, within a comparative essay, you should write no more than 4 paragraphs for the test. Only when you are asked to discuss both points of view and offer a personal opinion should you write a 5 paragraph essay.
Hi all. It's my first time posting an essay here. Please give me some advice on it. If you're a teacher, and if it's not against the community rules, please help grade it too. Thanks!  
  
P.S.: I am not able to type the symbol of 'degree'. 'C' will be referring to 'degree Celsius' in this essay.  
  
## the amount of rainfall and temperature (chart analysis)

  
  
**My answer:**  
The bar and line chart demonstrates the amount of rainfall, measured in mm, and the temperature, with C as the unit, every month across a year.  
  
Generally, the temperature change recorded monthly fluctuates between a mere 10 C whilst the measurement of precipitation differs significantly throughout one year.  
  
It is evident that the amount of rainfall peaked in July and August at approximately 325 mm. In contrast, the temperature already reached its climax in April and May in which a 30 C was recorded. However, the measured rainfall and temperature both, coincidently, met their lowest point in December and January, with the minimum precipitation at 20 mm and temperature at 20 C.  
  
It is further noted that for the amount of rainfall, it skyrocketed from 100 mm in May to 280 mm in the next month, and slumped, with an obvious difference of roughly 150 mm, from 300 mm in September to merely half of this amount in October. It further plunged to 25 mm in the following month. On the other hand though, the temperature recorded rose gradually from January to April and decreased steadily from May onwards.  
  
(188 words, 20.5 mins)  
  
*
I have to offer you apologies because scoring is no longer part of the free essay review services at this forum. For scoring and advanced review requirements, you should consider our private review service or making this thread URGENT. Only the basic review services can be given to you at this point.  
  
In the summary overview, you should have identified the image as a combined bar and line chart with intersecting information. You should have also acknowledged that precipitation was represented by the green bar measurements and the temperature, by the red line indicators. Your overview summary is incomplete and does not properly represent the paragraph requirement of 3-5 sentences, inclusive of the trending statement.  
  
Avoid using word fillers like "coincidentally". You are pressed for time with this task at 20 minutes, so do not waste time writing useless words. You did not go too much over time as far as I can tell. The problem, is that you took too much time writing the essay so you ran out of time to edit your work for spelling and grammar errors. You have to leave between 2-5 minutes for that part of the task. So learn how to outline the essay discussion points before you write your draft, that way you will be able to write faster and have some time left afterwards for editing.
\*I just have some feedbacks with respect to grammar of your writing.  
- "Millet rich with Vitamin A" should be replaced by " Millet rich **IN** Vitamin A".  
- You should check the name of the location. That's "**Tagus**" not "~~Tagush~~"\_the one you mentioned in the writing.  
- The sentence "if the answer is otherwise such as majority of Tagus people are poor" is fairly confusing for me. I can't get the grammatical point here.  
  
- "Vitamin A ..." falls into some grammatical mistakes; This should be subsituted by "Vitamins A provided **FOR** people **WHO** can not afford".  
  
- The phrase should become "whether there **IS** land available". Besies, "that are ..." should be become "that **IS** already planted by another crop" because "land" is uncountable.  
  
- In the phrase "If there exists other staple food", the word "**exist**" is used wrongly because it functions as only an intransitive verb. So, I suppose that you need a change for this one.  
  
- "how does the new millet taste?" should be turned into "how the new millet tastes" owing its position after "is". Also, you can keep the phras, but don't forget to put it in the quotation marks.  
  
- I think you should put "**a**" right before "means" in the phrase " as means to combat Vitamin A...".  
These are just some of my reviews on this one. Hopefully, this one does some wonders for your process.
## IELTS TASK 2: National news and international news

  
  
Topic: Some people focus on news in their country, while the others think it is more important to be aware of international news.  
**Discuss both views and give opinion.**  
  
Here is my essay, please help me improve my writing skills. Much appreciated!  
  
It is undeniable that news keeps an important role in daily life. Whereas a handful of arguments state that national information should be paid attention to, others claim that it is essential to read worldwide news. In my opinion, I believe that it is better to prioritize national news over international ones.  
  
The most supported idea for focusing on worldwide information is that people need to know what happened abroad in other to either protect their country or show sympathy to other nations. For example, by updating news about the Covid-19 epidemic originated in China, civilians in foreign countries are able to not only keep safe for both themselves and their nations by carefully doing the right things that can prevent the virus, but they can also give support to other countries being in danger, which really need to be empathized. However, rarely does the world have such a devastating event to care about.  
  
On the contrary, the majority of society reckon that news in country is more necessary compared to international news. If residents focus on national information, they possess knowledge of things that need to be cared about such as finances, criminals and accidents. Therefore, they can keep up with the pace of life in their country and develop lives in appropriate ways.  
  
From my perspective, news in country is much more important in comparison to worldwide information because national news is events which can have considerable effects on our daily lives. For instance, the economy of the country is unstable means financial accumulation is necessary for the worst situation. As long as we have proper awareness of things happen surrounding, we can have suitable preparations to protect us from dangerous states.  
  
In conclusion, updating information is essential for everyone. However, national news absolutely should be prioritized over international news as it may relate to our daily lives.