dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
The question that the original prompt asks the writer to respond to is: " Is this a positive or negative development?" It appears that the writer confused the writing instructions for this prompt with another discussion topic. Rather than the supplied prompt, the writer decided to write about a cause and solution essay instead. I am not sure how the confusion happened since the original prompt presentation is very clear:  
  
*Nowadays more people are choosing to socialize online rather than face to face. it is a positive or a negative development?*  
  
As the task requirements for the discussion were not met, save for the topic restatement, the essay will recieve a failing score based on an unrelated task response. Regardless of the other scoring considerations, the improper discussion consideration is what ultimately reflects more than half the scoring consideration. The essay does not have a passing chance.
## **THE GRAPH SHOWS THE NUMBER OF MARRIAGES AND DIVORCES IN THE UK BETWEEN 1975 AND 2000**

  
***Summarize some information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.***  
  
Here is my essay:  
  
The provided line graph depicts the marriages and divorces figures in the United Kingdom from 1975 to 2000.  
  
Overall, while there was an increase in the number of total and second marriages, the figure for first marriages dropped over the period. In addition, the figure for divorces went up steadily.  
  
The UK recorded significant growth in total marriages numbers from nearly 500,000 to 640,000 between 1975 and 1985. Despite a gradual decline to about 560,000 in 1995, the number rose slightly again to almost 580,000 at the end of the period. In contrast, although the number of first marriages increased moderately from about 330,000 to 400,000 over the first 10 years in the graph, it eventually went down to 300,000.  
  
From 1975 to 1990, there was an upward trend of 150,000 to 230,000 in the number of second marriages. In spite of a mild reduction to around 210,000 in 1995, the figure for second marriages rose to 260,000 by the end of the period. Besides, the UK witnessed a double increase in the number of divorces over the first 5 years in the graph. The numbers went up continuously and ended up reaching a peak of 250,000 by 2000, which is quite equal to second marriages figures.  
  
*
The measurement type is an integral part of the summary as this indicates the measurement basis for the graph. The reference to measurement by the thousands should have added to the numerical clarity of the " divorce figures " indicated.That is where "by the thousands" should've been mentioned. The first sentence in the trending statement contained 2 opposite information pieces. That should have been divided into 2 seperate sentences rather than being connected as a run-on.  
  
The same runproblem on issue exists in the second paragraph. The clarity off the information presented is affected when a sentence contains too many words. The thought process and information presentation becomes more difficult to follow. Meet the minimum word count using direct data presentation instead. The last paragraph, contains a cleaver presentation due to individual and more direct information presentation.
## IELTS TASK 2 - remote work or study

  
  
It is true that many people prefer to think that work and study from home is a negative develoment. While nobody can deny the negative affect it brings to us, however, I complete agree that work and study from home is a positive development.  
  
There are two main reasons why many people think it is a negative development. One reason is that we can lose focus from our work. For example, if you are a student and you are writing the essay for your study, the notifications from the social media will distract you from writing your essay. Furthermore, you can immerse yourself in the virtual life and it will have many serious consequences like you will not spend your time for your family or you will isolate yourself from everyone around you.  
  
Apart from the practical negative points expressed above, I believe that work and study from home is a positive development. Firstly, in the period of the outbreak of Covid-19, work and study from home is very important. If you do not accept the government regulations of social-distancing, it will be dangerous for you and the people around. Secondly, work and study from home can make us feel more comfortable when we work or study. For example, employee can take a rest as soon as they finish their work and do not feel annoying when they need to do the extra work for their boss.  
  
In conclusion, for the reasons I have mentioned above, I strongly believe that work and study from home is a positive development
Do not make any claims about the truth of a particular stance in the essay. The presentation does not require such a reference. Neither is it a discussion requirement. All that does is change the actual discussion topic and opinion presentation method. The essay now does not meet the discussion requirements as required. All of these led to a failing TA score for the essay. Kindly avoid over- exaggerating the response as well. A simple statement of :  
  
*This may be considered a positive development*  
  
would have sufficed as the single opinion presentation. As there was no extent response indicator in the original presentation, adding such a sentiment to your response will not be helping your score as it does not factor into the scoring consideration.  
  
The negative discussion in this essay is another non-scoring presentation. The scores will only be provided for the paragraph that offers a supporting statement to the given discussion. Since only one supporting reason is provided, this presentation will receive a score based on an incomplete reasoning presentation.
Hi I have a feedback for your essay. Hope you feel helpful :)  
You should not discuss what people think about this topic. It is just a fact. The main discussion in your essay should be your personal opinion on this topic.  
  
In the third passage, you should use more collocations, academic words and flexible expressions such as " The More...the more", "By this way,...", "It is undeniable that..." so that your essay will be longer and deeeper.  
  
In the last line, you should paraphrase the main idea of your essay without changing the meaning.
***SCIENTISTS PREDICT IN THE NEAR FUTURE CARS WILL BE DRIVEN BY COMPUTERS, NOT PEOPLE.***  
## DO YOU THINK IT IS A POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE DEVELOPMENT? WHY?

  
  
The advancement of technology has led scientists to recommend that it is possible in the near future that computers will undertake the operation of cars instead of the drivers themselves. I hold a strong belief that this development will bring positive aspects.  
  
I agree that the introduction of driverless cars in a foreseen future could be predictable. In this day and age, the use of devices with automatic technology is becoming the norm such as cleaning robots, automatic texting apps or automated home electronics. Moreover, many prototypes have been being developed for years, and some are unveiled like Tesla.  
  
One advantage is that it would free the drivers to do other things rather than focus on driving. It will be possible for the drivers to socialize or to relax while the automatic system of the car has the responsibility for driving safely, especially in a long journey. Besides, elderly people or disabled travellers would be unable to drive a car. Thus, autonomous cars will help them enjoy using cars without difficulty.  
  
Furthermore, another benefit of driverless vehicles is that they would ensure the safety and reduce road traffic injuries. It is widely known that most road collisions involve careless behaviors like speeding or driving while being intoxicated. Because of that, automation may reduce the number of incidents caused by those reasons and make the road more safe for both pedestrians and drivers. In addition, cars are unoccupied and parked most of the time. Autopilot means that car-sharing will be available for people with both low and high driving demand, and as the result, the number of cars being parked would be lessened.  
  
In conclusion, I would argue that computerized cars should be welcomed as a positive development due to some of their good points.
The essay calls for a 2 reasoning paragraph presentation. It does not require an agreement paragraph because an agreement response was not required in the original prompt.That paragraph is useless and will not receive any points since it is irrelevant to the discussion. Only the next 2 paragraphs which reflect the positive point of view will be scored.  
  
The relevant paragraphs show a clear knowledge based on personal and public information. The discussions are informed and well support the opinion presentation. The use of the conjunction "because" at the start of a particular sentence in this presentation shows a GRA will unfamiliarity. Connecting words are never used to start a sentence in an academic discussion. That is allowed only in informal writing settings.  
  
The arguement of the winter is useless in the concluding summary. Again, that is an unnecessary inclusion as it is not a discussion target nor consideration.
Many manufactured food and drink products contain high level of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?  
  
Nowadays, many sugary-related diseases such as diabetes become more and more popular alongside the promotion of manufactured food and drink with a great amount of sugar. It is believed that people should increase the cost of these products in order to prevent consumers from absorbing too much sugar. Personally, I totally disagree with this argument.  
  
Firstly, highly sugary-contained foods are extremely easily accessible. Having recognized the profit from selling them, the supermarket owners have the tendency to put them in the most seeable places with the aim of attracting as many people as they can. Therefore, in a store, with a wide range of manufactured food and drink added with some nutritious stuff, consumers are likely to choose the more familiar products which are sugary ones.  
  
Secondly, It is their personal right to decide whether to buy products containing high levels of sugar. That is the reason why even when the prices of those products are leveraged but still could not prevent them from buying them. They will cut other expenses just to afford it and fulfill their desire. Moreover, the more far-fetched things are, the more people want to have. That is an instinct within human nature.  
  
Thirdly, the fault lies not in the food itself but the buyer. The reason why people have health problems due to absorbing too much sugar is because they do not have enough self-discipline and commitment with their health.  
  
In conclusion, by only raising the cost of sugary food and drink, it is impossible to limit people's consumption. The best solution is that the government executes a policy to reduce the manufacture of this kind of product.  
  
Thank you so much for helping me.
***Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this.  
  
## Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.***  
  
**Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.**  
  
My essay:  
People have different views about where children are supposed to learn to be a good person, either from home or school. In my opinion, I believe that both places are definitely important for each kid to cultivate their maturity.  
  
It's generally considered that parents are the closest people in every children's life, which means that they could have a great impact on their kids. For example, when children encounter problems in their life, parents would usually be the first choice to talk to and to ask for help, and the advice that they give would also shapes the cognition of children. Moreover, parents play a vital role to introduce children the rules of society before entering school since they are the only access to the outside world during childhood. Therefore, parenting is literally necessary for children to become well-behaved.  
  
On the other hand, school is the place where children spend the most of time in their life, taking the major responsibility to educate them. The role model in a school should be the teachers, who not only pass academic knowledge down to students, but also teach them about manners and rules. From the point that children start going to school, they would experience the feeling of living in a society, which allows them to learn how to be a good member among all.  
  
In conclusion, it may be argued that parents or school teach children about life rules, I believe that both can give them proper education in each period of life, because they both play a crucial part in children's growing process.
The essay more than meets the word requirement for the presentation. When it comes to proper response formatting though, the writing proves to not meet the discussion requirements. Rather than presenting 2 public opinion explanations prior to a personal point of view, the analysis is only from the writer's perspective. The discussion instruction for the public views are based on the "some people" and " others" reference.  
  
Each point of view needs to be explained to the reader in a manner that boosts the C + C and GRA scores. Through the use of 3rd party pronouns for the public opinion and 1st person references for the personal opinion. This essay totally avoids that scoring aspect for some reason. The clarity of the explanation is based on properly identifying who owns or proposes it. That is why the reasoning paragraph for this discussion is divided into 3 parts, one for every represented point of view.
***IELTS TASK1 TOPIC: The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s.***  
  
## ***Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.***

  
  
MY ESSAY:  
  
The pie chart illustrates the main causes of land degradation, deforestation, over-cultivation and over-grazing, and the table shows the percentages of each cause in three different areas in the 1990s, namely North America, Europe and Oceania.  
  
There are three obvious phenomena that bring about less productivity of farming land, over- grazing takes the biggest portion, with figure of 35%. Following by deforestation and over-cultivation, with very close figures of 30% and 28% respectively.  
  
It is clear that Europe had the worst situation among three regions during the 1990s, having 23% of land degradated, While only 5% of the agricultural land was damaged in North America during the same period, and the figure for Oceania region was 13% in total.  
  
Each region had different proportions of the causes of land degradation in the 1990s. First of all, over-cultivation took the most responsibility for land degradation in North America, having 3.3% out of the total 5%. In Europe, the biggest cause which made the land infertile was deforestation, but over-cultivation affected the condition as well, with figure of 7.7%. Finally, Oceania had the most extreme figures for each cause, over-grazing accounted for 11.3%, but only 1.7% of land was destructed by deforestation, and no over-cultivation happened there in the 1990s.  
  
*
The information from the images , specifically in the summary overview section are upresented in 2 images. Each image is composed of stand alone information. Therefore, the image introduction must be completed over 2 seperate sentences as well. That will provide an easy to follow description When compared to the current confusing format. One image, one set of related descriptions over 1-2 sentences, That is the clearest and best scoring possible format.  
  
In the second paragraph there is a GRA punctuation concern. A comma was used instead of a semi-colon in reference to the reasons for land loss. The writer is often confused and indicates land degredation as one of the reasons rather than the result. This is a an English vocabulary (LR) situation that affects the clarity of the presentation.  
  
The writer consistently produces run-on sentences that will tremendously lower the final GRA score, also lowering the final score.
## electricity produced from 3 energy sources

  
  
The line graph represented how many units of electricity generated from 3 primary energy: coal, natural gas, and petroleum for New York City from 1980 to 2000. The most prominent feature of the diagram is that coal's role narrowed to electricity production, whilst there was an upward trend in the energy output produced from the others during the period.  
  
Having climbed substantially to reach 600 million kW hours in 1985, petroleum as an energy source witnessed a trend reversal in the next 5 years, followed by an astonishing recovery to hit a peak at around 700 million kW hours in the last period. Although the electricity production from natural gas static at 100 million kW hours until 1885, it surged to a high of 450 units by 1995, then moderately grew to 500 kW hours in 2000.  
  
As for coal-produced-of-energy, the figure was observed an identical trend to petroleum's one, which soared to around 300 million kW hours in 1885 and reversed until 1990. However, there was a stagnation at approximately 200 million units of electricity until the end of 2000.  
  
*
The proper reference is "The line graph represented the kilowatt hours used by the millions..." rather than, " how many units of electricity " as that is not an informative reference that adds to the important summary points of the paragraph. That point of correction does not take away from the informative nature of the succeeding sentences in the summary paragraph.  
  
In the second paragraph, the base or starting measurement should be indicated to lie the increase to a baseline, as all measurements of this nature requires. The graph also indicates an equal measure reference to coal and natural gas in 1990 which was overlooked in the analysis presentation. There is limited numerical data shared in the overall discussion that made the essay questionable to the reader. It lacks in information that would've been helpful in keeping the reader informed based on the image presentation.
## children spend large amount of time playing computer games

  
  
**Nowadays many people have access to computers on a wide basis and a large number of children play computer games.  
What are the negative impacts of children playing computer games and what can be done to minimize the bad effects?**  
  
Children these days have abundance of ways to relax after stressful time study at school. Some choose to take part in sports and outdoor activities. However, since people have many methods to log on to computers on a widespread source, there is a large number of children prefer spending time on playing games on the computers. This may lead to many defective influences on those who enjoy computer games. Those matters can be worked out by guardians' control and self-conscious awareness, which are discussed in detail in this essay.  
  
Playing computer games has metamorphosed into a severe matter that is damaging youngsters' future prospects. Along with the progress of technology, many attractive game titles have appeared on the computer systems that players can engage in with online status to chat and talk to others. It is time-consuming that children spend mostly leisure time on computers for unhelpful activities. Seriously, some are even addicted to games and willing to pay a great amount of money to own items in games as a means of enjoying the games properly.  
  
Creating mental health problems is the persistence of playing computer games for the simple reason that online games sometimes include violence. This content of game affects seriously and directly to children's aware-established process. It will play a role in forming children's characteristics as violent and rough. A clear proof of this is some children when grown up will have dreadful behavior such as burglaries, that turn into homicides. Gravely, game addiction also forces children to be in a delusion.  
  
Another incisive evidence that computer games influence badly on children is it causes eye diseases. Playing computer games means players have to keep eyes on the screen at whole time without resting. The eyes are affected directly by the light from the computer and get myopic and suffer from dry eyes diseases.  
  
This concern while pressing and critical is not bereft of a workable remedy in the form of guardians' control. Parents should not ban children from computer games but set time limitation and content of the games. Besides, children must be strictly self-conscious about what they engage in on the computer which assist them to establish healthy mindset and behavior.
The topic representation in the first paragraph alters the original presentation. The student included several references to data that represents a personal opinion or knowledge rather than a simple rewording of the original. The examiners hate when students do this and often award a failing TA score to the students that do this. The first 2 sentences in the paragraph caused that problem. Then, the student. did not offer direct responses to the thesis creating questions, which posed another TA scoring deduction for that paragraph.  
  
The second paragraph is an empty discussion. It fails to develop an acceptable negative impact. The writer just dida writing excercise in this section by indicating the discussion topic in several ways. All without making a clear discussion point.  
  
The essay is over-developed from the required 4 paragraph format. The reasoning paragraphs should be composed of :  
  
1 negative effect paragraph  
1 solutions paragraph  
  
The over- discussion is why the essay had problematic paragraph presentations. Had the witter focused on the clear simplicity of the discussion, he would have written a proper passing essay
## Big salary or job satisfaction and why

  
  
Career, which plays a vital role in living condition, is generally a common concern of most individuals. There is a hold perception that compared to finding a pleasure in the job, high income is far more significant. Personally, I totally disagree with this point of view.  
  
In my opinion, essential though well-paid jobs can be, getting a sense of dissatisfaction in working possibly make people stressed and feel challenging to keep performing routine duties without interest. This can leave the low performance in workplaces. Making no contribution to company, and this will spoil the chance of getting ahead in career and increasing a source of income.  
  
By contrast, a feeling of contentment in career possibly offer overwhelming advantages to people. First and foremost, when feeling eager for their job, people will have a strong motivation for managing the heavy workload during limited time. They can be successful problem-solvers who can be adaptable to enormous pressure and overcome the difficulties. Additionally, individuals are satisfied with their work and willing to work with greater productivity, giving rise to performance of the company. By this way, they appear to win promotion opportunities and have stable income. Apart from working advantages, people's emotion can be much more optimistic and positive rather than feeling depressed or competitive as they can assume their daily duty as their satisfaction.  
  
To sum up, I firmly convince that this viewpoint is completely wrong. Having satisfaction in career is far more necessary than gaining high source of income.