dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
...... first-hand experience**s** and personal traits. ... caused by a plethora of reasons **just a suggestion that many examiners advice not to use word plethora**,  
  
.... is totally negative **give a supporting statement to support your idea that why do u think its negative**.  
  
.......From my perspective **u can use a linking word which shows that ur opinion is in contrast to the original statement**,  
  
...... ~~the~~ recruitment entirely...  
  
... to handle ~~with~~ real life obstacles.  
  
**i dont think u gave adequate examples support your thesis**  
  
... qualifications, other *measures such as (...) employee-to-be's ability.* this is not clear.  
  
Overall, in my opinion you wrote an impressive essay with good flow and coherence. Task response was not met because it lacks proper examples.  
Also i think ur conclusion was weak as well.
## environmental problems should be taken seriously

  
  
There is no denying that environmental problems should be taken seriously to prevent disaster in the future. However, unfortunately, most people do not take this threat seriously for a number of reasons. The following essay will outline why the majority of them do not pay enough attention to environmental issues.  
  
To begin with, the main reason people do not give the environment much thought is because at the moment , it does not affect their daily life . In other words, they cannot see how global warming or pollution is destroying the environment . It is only when a crisis such as flooding occurs ,which people start to consider the reasons behind it . Even so, these are soon forgotten and the situation is once ignored again.  
  
Another reason environmental issues are ignored is people do not know about them . To illustrate , although they have heard of global warming or air pollution , they do not fully understand the implications of them. For instance , the numbers of people use cars and motorbikes in Vietnam is increasing dramatically in recent years , which can cause acute deseases in relation to air pollution such as lung cancer, respiratory infections ,etc. Furthermore , many people do not believe environmental issues will impinge on their life in another 50 to 100 years. Consequently , it is thought that those will be dealt with by younger generations.  
  
Taking everythings into account , I strongly agree that whilst there may be some people are fully aware of the environmental issues, the majority of the population still do not give them the attention they deserve.
Your essay is only analyzing reasons for the discussion. You forgot to respond to the question which is "To what extent do you agree or disagree?". Without a response to that question, your essay response will be considered only partially correct in response and will lose points for not having properly responded to the discussion question and not having provided an outline for the reasoning topics. Your rephrasing of the original prompt is now incorrect and, your discussion instruction, as you presented it in the essay, becomes a prompt deviation. Since you changed the discussion instruction for the essay, you cannot get a passing score with this presentation. You should always respond to the questions asked in the prompt restatement because that helps the examiner to judge your English comprehension skills and early reasoning abilities. You cannot save your actual response for the concluding paragraph because that is only used as a summary of the overall discussion. It is incorrect of your to place your extent response there because you changed too much of the original presentation in your paraphrase for it to qualify as still related to the original prompt. You also neglected to conclude the essay in the process, creating an open ended essay rather than a concluding statement for your presentation.
## Sports popular in TV

  
  
The table describes the televison viewing figues for sports by country in milion.  
It is ovident that lagest viewers are more likely to watch tennis than watch anything else . Otherwise, motor racing has the lowest viewers in the table.  
  
Out of four countries, the number of viewers watching sports are noticeably higher in USA , at 25,2 milion.Most people interested in watch golf, at 21,9 milion.  
  
It can be seem that Canada has lowest viewers watch sports, at 14,5 milion. Motor racing has the lowest viewers, at 12,7 milion in comparison with golf, 25,9 milion  
  
Thank all of you very much
Hello, thanks for spending time reading my comments  
----------------------------------------------  
First, you need to upload the table so that we can have a look at them  
And your essay is under words required which are 150 and you will be penalised for using less than that.  
Also your essay contains a few typing mistakes such as the word 'ovident' and 'seem'  
You need to include more information, figures and make comparison in your body paragraph and overview.  
With this essay you would only achieve a band under 5  
-------------------------------------------------  
Keep practicing and improve your work!!
Topic:  
***Scientific research should be carried out and controlled by the governments rather than private companies.***  
## Do you agree or disagree?

  
  
At present, scientific research across the world is performed by both governments and private companies. While I agree that private firms could carry out this research, I also believe that the states should assume responsibility for conducting them.  
  
On the one hand, there are several reasons why private companies should be enabled to execute scientific research. The first reason is that this could help to reduce pressure in the state budget. As a result, citizens have to pay lower taxes, and authority would have more cash to spend on different fields such as infrastructure or economic development. Another reason is that scientific research which is managed by private firms usually complete quickly and efficiently. Because of profit motivation, companies tend to hasten the investigated process by spending more money and engaging much competent staff for projects. For example, a company called Tesla had carried out massive research in order to produce electric cars and introduce them to the market in 2014.  
  
On the other hand, it is wrong to reject the argument in favour of the control of authorities on scientific research. Government- decision making is the best way to prioritize expenditure on essential areas of research which can be helpful for society in the present and future. For example, developing renewable energy of government is necessary to meet growing demand and ensure national security. Providing funding for universities to study is one of the ways to yield high- quality research which do not aim to break into a new market or gain a competitive edge. Thus, the knowledge gained can be shared worldwide throughout the community.  
  
In conclusion, it is ludicrous to compare the function of private area and public area in carrying out scientific research because they are components in research activities.
You cannot have a partial opinion for this essay. There is no "extent" reference in the original prompt so you only have 2 choices. Either you agree or disagree. You can only defend one side in this essay. The reason for this is because you are not being instructed to compare and contrast or discuss advantages and disadvantages in the essay. You are merely being asked to pick one side and use 2 strong reasons to justify your opinion. You failed to do that in the essay which means you did not understand the discussion instructions. Your conclusion also fails to properly summarize the discussion topic and presentation points. Aside from being a run-on sentence, you also failed to present 3 sentences (minimum) in that section. So the overall approach to the writing of this essay is problematic and could result in a failing score for you in an actual test.
**TOPIC: A rise in the standard of living in a coutry often only seem to benefit cities rather than rural areas. What problems might this differences cause? How might these problem be reduced?**  
  
## the fast-growing economy

  
  
It is widely acknowledged that the fast-growing economy in the country seemsto be more substantial for cities rather than urban areas. This essay will demonstrate some drawbacks of this problem before outlining a number of viable solutions to mitigate the sistuation.  
  
It is evident that increasing living standards in country will create some pervasive problems. On the societal level, economic development would give a growing gap between rich and poor states. For example, according to the  
  
latest survey by the Chinese daily newspaper, it has shown that over 60 percent of people living in rural areas who go to work in cities have suffered from discrimination by city dwellers. This has raised concerns about social  
  
inequality. On the individual level, most of the urban dwellers tend to migrate to metropolitan city to seek for a job prospect (stable job) and raise their quality of life.Additionally , the surge in the gross of migration rate will place a burden on the environment.  
  
Several feasible solutions can be implemented to remedy the aforementioned issues. Firstly, the government should allocate budget to build more industry zones to rural areas, which is the key to the creation of jobs for urban dwellers. Once people have a stable income source, there is no reason why they have to go to the city to find a job. Secondly, the construction of roads is of great importance . It makes it convenient for people to move around easily.  
  
In conclusion, these issues could bring about some long - term adverse impact to the society. However, there are some solutions that could help to deal with it.
When you write the paraphrase of the topic, avoid using information that is not presented in the original prompt. The examiner is looking for an accurate restatement of the original discussion topic and instructions. When you say "It is widely acknowledged" when there is no evidence to support such a claim in the original presentation, your paraphrase becomes inaccurate and deviant. It changes the discussion parameters, which is not good for your paraphrase score. Since there are direct questions being asked in the presentation, you should give direct responses to each. That is to help the examiner assess your ability to understand and respond to English questions.  
  
When discussing these Task 2 essays, you should avoid making reference to any source of information. You can use any imaginary information you want, just make it come from a personal point of view rather than a source material. There is no internet available at the testing center, assuming you are taking a CBT test, which you might have been able to use to do research for the paper. That is why the personal knowledge or information is part of the discussion instructions. You need to use your personal opinion rather than sourced information. You will not be scored on the accuracy of your information anyway so you do not need to bother with using sources in your presentation.  
  
Your presentations will be better developed if you provide the following in a single paragraph:  
- Problem  
- Cause  
- Solution  
- Reason the solution will work  
- Transition sentence or additional reasoning (optional)  
  
By compressing the information in one paragraph, you will be able to present 2 problems and solutions clearly to the examiner. Such a complete and clear discussion process will help increase your C&C score.
I will be so grateful if you can read my essay and leave some advice, Thank you!  
  
## Analysis of production process basing on the diagram

  
  
The diagram given demonstrates the way how botted and canned carbonate drinks are produced.  
In general, there are six stages that would be in order while implementing. Water would be changed into complete products in bottles and cans. After that, they would be distributed to supermarkets.  
  
To begin with, water is collected and put in the factory. Immediately, it is purified by filter equipment and simultaneously be transferred straight forward to the second stage. Through heating and cooling pipes of the process, its temperature is forced to increase and decline. Next to the third step, carbonate is provided in order to amount to an addition to water.  
  
At the fourth stage, steps of the mixture are carried out with three types such as syrub mixture, color, and sterilized water. Here, the results are drinks without the package. After obtaining the products, the packing with bottles and cans is implemented. Finally, the complete products are allocated out to supermarkets for consumption.  
  
*
Look at the diagram. There are 6 titles for the soda making process. For the summary overview, you should have used the titles to give a quick procedural outline to the reader. There is no trending statement for this procedure. There is also incorrect grammar in the first sentence of the summary overview paragraph:  
  
... the way ~~how~~ bottled and canned...  
  
You do not use the correct descriptive words in the essay:  
... put in the factory - taken to the factory  
Carbonate - carbonate water  
syrub - syrup  
  
Sentence structure errors:  
and simultaneously be transferred straight forward to the... - and IS simultaneously TRANSFERRED to the...  
... in order to amount to an addition to water - ... to add water to the mix  
  
The specific errors you made in word usage and grammar will be the problems that could prevent you from getting a passing score in an actual test.
## dream to become a celebrity

  
  
More and more young people tend to dream of being celebrities due to a variety of different reasons. First of all, they think becoming well-known is good because this job provides them with luxury lives and lots of money. They will not only afford big villas, limited clothing, super cars, but also reputation, respect, and influence. Moreover, young people like the feeling of standing on glamour stages with a great many fans below. They fancy being welcomed enthusiastically and listening to the shout for encouragement. Finally, today's youth imagine that being stars is an easier and shorter way to be successful than other methods. They find studying and passing tests at schools unnecessary and time-consuming. All in all, there are many reasons to want to be public figures; however, personally, I am slightly disagree with this idea.
You were asked to write at least 140 words. Did you forget that? You only wrote 137 words. If this were a Task 2 essay, you would have had points deductions based on the minimum word count. Always work towards meeting the word count. That isn't hard to do. If you are using a Word program, the number of words appear at the left hand bottom side of the screen. That should help you keep track. It is always better to write more words than less when you are practicing to write essays, but not during an actual test.  
  
Your essay has conciseness and vocabulary issues that you should have spotted and corrected before considering your writing task completed.  
  
Conciseness:  
First of all - First,  
  
Grammar:  
I am slightly disagree - disagreeing  
  
Overused expressions also tend to get you a lower score in task 2 writing. Avoid saying:  
More and more= Increasingly  
All in all = Overall  
Different reasons = several reasons  
  
Or other variations as long as they are not overused expressions that can be mistaken for memorized phrases.
~~More and more~~An increasing number of young people ~~tend to~~ dream of being ... variety of ~~different~~ reasons. First ~~of all~~, ~~they think~~ becoming well-known is ~~good~~ attractive because ~~this job~~ it provides... lots of ~~money~~ wealth. They will not only be able to afford big villas, limited edition clothing, ... also gain reputation~~,~~ and respect~~, and influence~~. Moreover, ... a great number of fans ~~below~~.  
  
... many reasons for them ~~to want~~ to be public ...
I assume you tried to sugarcoat the words to achieve the minimum word count, yet your essay did not reach at least 140 words. I understand that you also attempted to use words like 'first of all' or 'more and more' to sound smarter, however, doing so does not make your essay better. Overall, I think it is good that your paragraph already answered the question, but, like @Holt said, your words must be more concise (remember to avoid sugarcoating words), and you need to work on your grammar as well.
Hello, this is my first piece of writing task 2. I start to practice writing IELTS recently. Please give me any advice after you read it. Any feedback is truly appreciated. Thank you very much.  
  
Topic:  
## More and more people claim that modern work patterns are a source of stress.

  
***What do you think are the causes of this? Can you suggest some possible solutions?***  
  
Modern society has brought us numerous benefits in our daily lives. However, it is undeniable that many bad consequences which are still hot at the moment are also the results of modernity. In working aspect, there is a rise in complaints that modern work patterns are a source of stress. So what are the causes of this phenomenon? And are there any solutions for stress in workplace?  
  
There are many reasons for this claim. First of all, both the amount of workload and working time is rapidly increasing. More and more people work overnight. More and more people feel that the time spent at the office is not enough to finish their work, and as a result, they continue working at home, which makes spending time for leisure time more impossible. Furthermore, many factories, companies nowadays tend to apply the latest technology, resulted in the expectation that their employees have to be capable of doing many things to prove their "usefulness" to the company. The second cause is uncertainty. As their jobs become more demanding than any time before, they cram themselves in working and working so much that at a point of time, they start to lose sight of themselves. Consequently, they become living machines, living to work. In their clouded eyes, they can see nothing but their work, their frustration when struggling to find themselves back and ended up gaining nothing. That people cannot control their own lives makes they are highly likely to be stressed out.  
  
To solve this problem, there are some simple and practical ways. Employees should do more exercise regularly. There is a saying that "a sound mind in a sound body", so it will help reduce their stress. Moreover, they should learn to communicate better with their family, friends, co-workers or even boss. Family and friends are always willing to give an ear to you. Telling your problem you have to face to someone you love and trust is always better than bearing it alone. And try to make time for yourself. Be happy with your life, and you will find yourself more successful in work. It is hard to do this in a whirlwind-paced society nowadays, but you just need a small amount of time to "charge" yourself back, which no doubt benefits you more than working all day and all night.  
  
In conclusion, modern work patterns can be one of the causes of stress for people. However, it is not unavoidable. We can change this step by step by each individual who seeks efficient work-life balance, wanting to get a happy life.
The plus point of your essay of your essay is that it meets the demands of the topic (you mentioned causes and solutions).  
  
On the other hand, you should keep the length of your essay between 250 and 300 words since you can hardly finish your test with a longer essay. For example, Your introduction should have only 2-3 sentences that are mainly bout main point of the topic and the purpose of this essay. in the body paragraphs. You should bring up 2 causes and 2 explanations OR examples for each of them. The same structure is used to bring up solutions  
  
You should put more effort in improving your lexical resource and diversifying sentence structures. I suggest you should read sample essays then gradually learn their structures, vocabulary and grammar.  
  
Btw, there are some grammar mistakes in your essay such as "living machine" and "living to work". "living" in the first term in like an adjective while it is like verb in the latter term. Since you were listing the elements (they become living machines, living to work), i suggest you should use the same type of word
Hi everyone, I am new to ielts writing, it is really hard skill for me to study by myself. Please help me!!! Thank you in advance.  
  
**The graph below shows the number of books read by men and women at Burnaby Public Library from 2011 to 2014.  
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.**  
  
**Here is writing:**  
  
The diagram illustrates how many books that male and female readers red at Burnarby Public library between 2011 and 2014. During the period from 2011 to 2013, Man red more books than women, however, the opposite was true from 2013 to 2014.  
  
In 2011, there was more books read by men than women. Men red 5000 books, compared to 3000 books read by women. Between 2011 to 2013, the number of books read by two genders increased steadily until meeting at 10000 in 2013. In the following year, the figure for books read by female readers increased by 4000 to reach 14000. In contrast, the figure for males followed the opposite trend to fall to a low of 8000 in that year.  
  
Thus, over period of 4 years, women started to read more books than theirs beginning and overtook men. On the other hand, the number of books read by men peaked in 2013 and then began to fall.  
  
*
This isn't a diagram. It is a line chart, or a line graph. A diagram illustrates a series of procedures. A line graph indicates the increase and decrease of a given measurement. The summary overview needs one more sentence. You could have indicated the crossover point of the male and female readers in that section. Based on the measurement provided, abut 9000 men and women read books 2013. Do not forget to include the points from the graph where measurements touch. That is a comparison point required in the essay. That is a main point that is important in the presentation. You should have also indicated that the measurement was based on the thousands of books read.  
  
You seem to have confused yourself as to how to spell one word in particular. Red is a color. Read mrans to peruse written or printed matter. See the difference? Familiarize yourself with words that sound the same but have different meanings. This is known as a Homophone. You should learn the difference because these errors will lower your LR score.