dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
You are writing a task 1 essay that has a word range of 175-190 words. Although the minimum is 150, you should write at least 175 words so that you can gain a mid range scoring consideration in all aspects. Writing that number of words will also keep you within the 20 minute time range. You have written such a long essay at 226 words, that you practically presented a Task 2 essay already. This is only a simple analysis, not a personal opinion paper. Sure, you type fast and you are taking the CBT test. That still does not account for the fact that you failed to proof read your paper for GRA and LR errors.  
  
Your first paragraph, the summary overview is confusing. The first sentence mixes 3 different information presentations in a long sentence. You misunderstood what comprises a complex sentence. A complex sentence is not based on the length of a sentence.The common definition of a complex sentence is :  
  
*A sentence or sentences that is / are made up of one independent clause (or main clause) and one or more dependent clauses (or subordinate clauses). The dependent clause is introduced and linked to the independent clause by a subordinating conjunction.*  
  
Your presentation does not follow this presentation pattern. Instead, it delivers a confusing mix of information, compressed into one sentence. You can bet that the opening sentence alone will have a heavy effect on your GRA score along with your C&C consideration. This sentence alone is enough to start your scoring basis on a failing mark. Separate the ideas into individual sentences of at least 3-5 per paragraph. That is how you avoid getting penalties in the scoring sections I mentioned. By the way, you forgot to make a reference to "domestic access" in your presentation as that is a keyword from the original that should be included as an information source in the summary presentation.  
  
While your discussion is intricate, it is taking too long to get to the point. When you are writing a report, the reader does not have time to go through over worded presentations. Time is of the essence. The essay test is asking you quickly, but clearly and understandably present the information provided. Consider the audience you are writing for. Who are presenting this to? Professionals or lay persons? If it is for lay persons, then they do not have any interest in this wordy presentation. Get to the point already.
## volunteering among Teenagers

  
  
Teenagers these days have tendency to take part in many community affairs through a great deal of youth's organizations. Not only can they gain access to practical skills, they can somewhat make a great contribution to the society as well. For me, I totally disagree with the above statement.  
  
To begin with, youngsters are well informed with a plenty of life skills once attending in society's work. As they stand the chance of living far from home, they have to familiarize with these skills by themselves in order to exist. In effect, they are entitled to making decision without depending on adults, which does help them independently tackle their own affairs and reach to their own solution. It is usual that they have to work in groups in such volunteering work, thereby creating skills to interact with the others. To illustrate, parents now encourage their children to take part in volunteer works held by school or youths' organizations for the hope of gaining more life skills.  
  
Furthermore, it seems to me that the adolescents make great difference within their community towards charity works. Owing to their active and energetic spirit, they can help spread the motivation to needy people, particularly children. Through many youths' courses, teenagers themselves can help reduce illiteracy that enrich the outlook of socio picture. This is exemplified by the fact that there are thousands of poor children become successful through many life-changing experiences given by volunteers.  
  
In conclusion, volunteering is the tools for widening the social prospects, not only for the poor, but also the youths. Whether some people give creeps for charity, I totally consider charity as a meaningful activity between human.  
  
Short summary:  
Disagree with the above statement, with 2 typical ideas. The first is children are beneficial life skills from volunteering. The second is volunteering help students make difference for society.
It is important to make it clear in the paraphrasing that you are presenting an idea or opinion that is not your own. It is important to use third person pronouns in that section to be able to deliver the clarity of the other party or parties, opinion(s). In this presentation, it appears that you are contradicting your own statement, thus leaving the paragraph with an unclear opinion. Ensure that you always identify whose opinion, idea, or sentiment is being presented to clarify that the last sentence is your response to the prompt question or discussion instruction.  
  
You are referring to an unrelated topic in the second paragraph. You are discussing living away from home, which cannot be taken to have the same meaning as young adults participating in volunteer work. There is a stark difference between the two scenarios. The focus of the discussion should only be on volunteer work, not on other unrelated tasks, activities, or living conditions.  
  
Your third paragraph is not clear in terms of explanations either. In the opinion statement, you said that you disagree with the statement provided. However, you are constantly giving reasons to support the need for volunteering or community service among teenagers. There is a difference between your response to the question and, the reasons you provided. One does not support the other.  
  
Based on the short summary you provided, it is clear that you did not provide reasons to support a disagreeing statement in the essay. To disagree means to not support the previous idea. That is not what you did in this statement. You strengthened the original information based on your reasons, running counter to the instructions for the discussion. You should have indicated why there are no benefits to volunteering and why volunteering will not help youngsters make a difference in society. What you explained actually supports the idea that volunteerism is beneficial to the youth.
I am checking your grammatical errors:  
- ~~a great deal of~~ -> plenty of youth's organizations. a great deal is used for uncountable nouns.  
- ... to practical skills,but they can also...  
- ~~a~~ plenty of..  
- attending ~~in~~ -> to society's work  
- familiarize themselves with.. you lack the word "themselves".  
- reach ~~to~~ their own solution.  
- reduce illiteracy that ~~enrich~~ -> enriches the outlook..  
Hope my suggestions useful!
***Some people work for the same organization all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organizations.***  
## Discuss both views and give your own opinion

  
  
In advance of retirement, a section of the public is willing to be employed in a specific company while the opinions of various working places are admitted to be more beneficial. This essay will clarify these two aspects and my viewpoint.  
  
Repeating the same work in an organization throughout the working life does not attract some people, resulting in the lack of employees 'motivation. Nevertheless, remaining the recent job's place reveals the loyalty of the worker as well as honor and their willingness to boost the organization's economic growth. In particular, the leader probably appreciates the ability to cope with internal issues or getting on well with colleagues which are significant elements in order to be successful in the career path. Strengthen closet relationships with bosses or partners while working around the same project is another benefit when sticking to a specific organization.  
  
On the other hand, switching between several companies brings about efficient influences to some extent. Compared to those who are stable in the workplace, making a difference leads to activeness' and confidence. As a result, how they increase society's interaction undoubtedly enlarge their pulicial relationship and friendship circle. Additionally, it is hardly tough to make a big step in developing personal daily skills. To more specific, once overcoming problematic situations occurring in different working place' environment is likely to make people mature and devote to their responsibility and carefulness before making decisions.  
  
Regardless of the significant drawbacks of distinguished organizations, I am of the opinion of maintaining a permanent location. That is not only because the application for a company is complex but having a sustainable working place provides more chances to settle down and manage a complete daily life as well.  
  
To sum up, there is a wide array of the organization to be chosen for a career. Although many people believe that a single one is the best, I a highly convinced that making change results in more beneficial impacts  
  
p/s please check my essay. thank you for your precious time
While you did well in discussing the topic based on the given discussion points, you failed to do the same thing for your personal opinion presentation. It is too short. It fails to represent your opinion in a manner that you thoroughly used to discuss the public opinions. You need to have a balanced discussion that shows how you considered both public opinions before coming to your own opinion.  
  
You have grammar and punctuation issues in the essay that you should have corrected during the proof reading of your draft. Never forget to check for grammar, spelling, and clarity issues in your draft before you consider it as the final copy. These are the 3 basic errors that exam takers forget to look out for and oftentimes, these cause the most deduction reasons in the final score.
This essay is wonderfully executed and has amazing potential! Your grammar and sentence structure are usually on point or complex (complex makes a sentence an interesting read btw!). The direct nature of your essay is something that is needed for the audience to be engaged. However, that direct voice is inconsistent throughout your essay and does present a few problems.  
  
-**This essay will clarify these two aspects and my viewpoint.**  
  
This is the ending of your introduction. It's abrupt and removes the audience from the moment. It's always best to present your points in a succinct manner in your introduction, as it lays the groundwork for the audience and you as a writer to follow. Honestly, I feel because you haven't stated the points in your introduction, your essay is underdeveloped and leaves the reader confused as to what your two points were.  
  
Hope this helps!  
  
Sincerely,  
Me
You should make sure to check your grammar and spelling. We often forget to do these things and no matter how good the essay is, the reader will assume your carelessness and this will be very detrimental to the results that you want from your essay.  
  
The introduction is still shaky and the ending is definitely too short and abrupt. You should look through it again.  
  
The body has substance and a lot of room for potential. There seems to be no word limit so I hope you can expand on your ideas even further.  
  
Best of luck!
## Volunteering as a high school student

  
  
One of the highly debatable topics relates to whether voluntary work should be considered to be a part of the high school curriculum. Many parents are of the opinion that working for charitable or community organizations would be beneficial to youngsters. I am convinced that sending students to such places is a good idea because of providing children numerous lasting and great values.  
  
Firstly, thanks to doing voluntary work, students have more chances of learning life skills which play a vital role in increasing their success later on. Specifically, not only do the students learn teamwork and time management, but they also gain communication and organizational skills, which is considered to be the excellent preparation for adulthood.Furthermore, skills gained through compulsory work would be an asset on their CV and thus, increasing their employability.  
  
Secondly,due to the shortage of after-school clubs, children nowadays spend an immense amount of time sitting in front of the TV or browsing the Internet and this causes serious harm to the adolescent development. Therefore, giving them compulsory work would prevent them from the excessive use of technological equipment, which results in healthy life balance.  
  
Finally, children find it difficult to work in the real life, therefore, they would gain more respect towards money and more to the point, learn to spend them in more practical way.  
  
In my conclusion, I think unpaid community services should be implemented in the high school programmes since there exist numerous benefits of carrying out them in the long run.
There was nothing in the original prompt to indicate that the topic is a "highly debatable topic". The reference made was only to a discussion between parties. There is a difference between a discussion and a debate. Be careful with your alternative word choices, a mistake in keyword alteration can totally change the premise of the original discussion, as evident in your restatement. Additionally, parents are not the ones giving an opinion here, just people in general. That is another keyword alteration that changed the reference point for this essay. It is fast becoming a totally different discussion based on your keyword alterations. You cannot be convinced by the discussion, you need to offer an extent statement in that section. So you have something like "I am in total support of this idea because..." This restatement is not very good. It doesn't really follow the rewriting requirements in an applicable manner. However, you will still be scored on the relevant discussion points as the examiner may perceive your response to be.  
  
There is a standard paragraph format for these presentations. Regardless of whether it is the restatement, the reasoning discussion, or the reverse paraphrase conclusion, these all have to be within 3-5 sentences. While you did write 250 words, the discussion paragraphs need more work. It has to be developed further for clarity, proper explanation, and the inclusion of more relevant examples. By the way, the discussion paragraphs should only be 2 paragraphs. This is not a 5 paragraph discussion. In fact, your final reasoning paragraph is so short, it will actually pose a deduction, rather than an increase in your final score. The same goes for the conclusion that does not have at least 40 words and 3 sentences in it. It does not reflect a clear restatement of the previous discussion. Specially since you show uncertainty in that paragraph with the word "I think", meaning your overall TA score will be based on a non-definitive opinion regarding the topic.
@Holt @ Priscilla thanks all of you indeed.  
@Holt: I already read your comment carefully. However, I still have a few questions:  
1. I often write in long sentences, therefore, my ideas would be in about 2 -3 sentences like above. Is it ok if I continue to do that and it doesn't affect negatively my score ?  
  
2. Could you give me some phrase rather than using "highly debatable topics". How about: " It is suggested that ... " ?  
@ Priscilla please show me some mistakes regarding grammars. I have no ideas and I need your help.
Please give me some comments on my essay. Much appreciated!  
  
***Topic: The ease of international travel and the spread of various kinds of mass media all over the world have made it more possible than ever for people to know how other people live in other countries.***  
  
## Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

  
  
In the modern day and ages, the invention of numerous convenient transport and the extensive coverage of networking are two main features that bridge the gap between civilians of different countries. In my opinion, I have a great belief that this development's merits outweigh all its downsides.  
  
To begin with, it is undeniable that international travel makes significant stimulation to the tourism industry around the world. As the worldwide economy improves, the need for traveling increases substantially. Therefore, numerous individuals have made a fortune because of providing various interesting services. Ultimately, the average living conditions in many countries have witnessed massive improvement, which benefits the whole world.  
  
As well as international journalism, mass media also contributes a variety of advantages to the Earth. Firstly, the worldwide cover of media supports spreading cultural diversity. Since the geographical distance vanishes, citizens in different territories can easily gain more knowledge about their favourite culture. Secondly, mass media helps civilians update the newest information quickly. Thanks to this merit, unnumbered communities can make appropriate decisions to benefit themselves as much as possible.  
  
Some arguments are claiming that worldwide journalism and mass media can encourage the equalization of nations, which threatens every country. I admit that there are some valid in this contention. However, loss of cultural diversity can totally be prevented by raising appropriate awareness of individuals. Therefore, this risk is not considerable in comparison to lots of benefits of international travel and extensive media coverage.  
  
In conclusion, I strongly believe that worldwide tourism and mass media are exponentially advantageous to human beings, as long as we acknowledge how to utilize them properly.
Let's start with the first paragraph. In the introduction, you are using a memorized phrase to kick off the presentation. "In the modern day and ages" is actually grammatically incorrect as it should be written as "In these modern days and ages". That is not the point though, the problem with that presentation is, it does nothing for your TA score. You could have properly written this restatement in as little as two sentences. You could have started at "The invention of.." and have given a better hook to the reader in the presentation. By the way, convenient transport and extensive coverage of network do not mean the same thing as international travel and various kinds of mass media. The proper alternative references should have been:  
  
International travel - global trekking, globe trotting, world wide excursions  
Mass media - electronic media, information media, broadcast media  
  
I strongly urge you to get a hold of a thesaurus while you still can. The thesaurus is a collection of alternative words that you can use to replace keywords in the original presentation. You can download those from the App store or Google Play. When you download one, let me know so I can instruct you on how to properly use it. Trust me, it is going to help increase your TA and LR score tremendously. You must never repeat the usage of the keyword in the discussion paragraphs or prompt restatement. You have to avoid that in order to prove your proficiency in the use of various English words.  
  
This is a 4 paragraph essay that uses the following discussion paragraph format:  
  
Sentence 1: Mention a Disadvantage as the topic sentence.  
Sentence 2: Explain why people see this as a disadvantage (one topic paragraph for international travel and another for mass media)  
Sentence 3: Transition to the advantage discussion by presenting your advantage opinion  
Sentence 4: Offer an explanation for your opinion  
Sentence 5: Use a supporting example.  
  
The problem with your essay is that you deviated from the given discussion topic. Which is why the discussion went off course and thus, became irrelevant to the given task. Refer to the following:  
  
Original Reason: possible than ever for people to know how other people live in other countries.  
  
You decided that for international travel, you would use "stimulation to the tourism industry" and for mass media, you would focus on international journalism and various reasons, rather than a single focused reason based on the spread of mass media. Then you presented a personal opinion that did not anchor itself on the original reason for the discussion. So the essay is totally unrelated to the original prompt.  
  
Since the original reason was not used in the discussion essay, you know the kind of score that this essay can get. Perhaps you need to work on some English comprehension exercises to help improve your reading and comprehension skills. Avail yourself of the online practice tests for English comprehension before you try to write another Task 2 essay.
## Sharing Household Chores

  
  
These days, almost all countries are an increase in the notion of equality between men and women. Some nations argue that it is reasonable to share household works between males and females because they are working full time. In my personal, I strongly agree with this view.  
  
To begin with, it reduces the feeling of pressure of women and helps men and women have a lot of time talking together. Firstly, sharing household works decline the stress of women since they do not always think and arrange all household works after finishing work at the company. For instance, if husband and wife have shared about a husband doing some things and a wife doing another thing, they can finish household works fastly. Instead, a woman must divide what to do today and tomorrow in their spare time. Moreover, the husband and wife can be talking together or play with their children as the wife does not spend more time doing household works. Usually, if they do not have to share household works, the wife will do all household work while some husbands read the news, chats, or plays a game. Therefore, the shared household works help husbands feel like cherishing the time with family.  
  
Additionally, it not only raises awareness of children in a family that they need to share and help their friends to do clean or any beneficial works, but it also makes children feel the warm atmosphere in a family. When children see a way in which their parents share household works, they can imitate by the help their parents in their family or help their friends in school. As a consequence, children will grow with good quality. Furthermore, children feel happy and warm when they live at home, instead of feeling alone and cool when their mother do household works and their father surface on the mobile phone. They dare not call their mother or father to play with them because they see stress emotion from their parents. This lead to creating fear in children's' mind. Whereas, if their parents share household works to finish them fastly and then spend the rest of the time talking and play with them, they will not that fear.  
  
In conclusion, for the reason I have mentioned above, I extremely believe that women and men should share household works.