dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
## Holding Olympic Games is an exciting event.

  
***Some people think it has positive effects while others argue it is a waste of money. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.***  
  
Olympic Games is an international sports event which attracts a great amount of interest. While it is said by some that this occasion has merits, others claim that such one does nothing useful other than wiping out a huge sum of money. In my opinion, despite its possible advantages, this practice is truly an extravagance.  
  
On the one hand, it is understandable why many people say such an event may exert positive impacts. Firstly, it provides the chance for professional athletes to prove themselves. Usually, the participants have to apply themselves to harsh training courses for the Olympics Games, the biggest competition on the planet. In return, they can bring honour to themselves and their country, making those hardworking years pay off. Secondly, this sports event can greatly promote physical activities. Matches of different types of sports are aired on television each time it takes place, which embeds an idea of how popular they are on an international scale. People, as a result, may be drawn to the high spirit prevalent all around the world and pay sporting more attention.  
  
However, others argue that the huge cost this event inflicts for the short period of time it is held is virtually pointless. During the preparation, modern sports facilities may have to be erected which use up an enormous amount of the national budget. Many of them, however, fall into disuse after the event, generating no revenue and even requiring upkeep to maintain their conditions. Consequently, they become a drain on the economy and even leave the country in debt. Given how those colossal investments in Olympics can be used for other rational purposes like education or healthcare, I agree that an event like this is a waste of money. Besides, local sporting events also can cultivate people's sporty behaviours, obviously with a lower level of investment. Accordingly, there is no need for more extravagant Olympics Games.  
  
In conclusion, despite some benefits this international event might have, my view is that this practice should not be kept going in the future since the cost of it is basically unbearable and of little avail.
I have constantly cautioned the students about opening the prompt restatement with an unrelated piece of information. In this case, the reference to interest in the games. There is no need to change the opening sentence target because it is not included in the original presentation. The prompt restatement is looking for information accuracy. That means, if the information is not included or referenced in the original prompt, it should not be placed in the restatement. In this case, I have repeatedly reminded this writer not to do this and yet, it is a constantly repeated error in every presentation made. There are no improvements to be found in the prompt restatement + opinion paragraph.  
  
The presentation is not properly developed in terms of reasoning. There was no need to use a comparative format for this discussion because the instruction clearly asks for the writer's opinion. That means the writer is required to present 2 supporting reasons in individual, fully developed paragraphs. Since the preentation uses a compare and contrast format, the writer will only receive a score for the paragraph that supports the provided opinion. The non supporting paragraph will not receive scoring considerations.
## finding out about the history of the house or building

  
  
My essay  
  
Today's people are increasingly seeking the historical values of their houses. My essay shalle shed light on the underlying causes of this phenomenon.  
There are several rationals to account for the prevalence of seeking the history of their houses.  
The first and foremost is the sheer curiosity which mainly drives the public to search for the historical record of their houses. The rapid technological progress allows for the precise evaluation of the age of people's houses just based on the construction materials. Added to this is the longing for the increased values of their properties if there is any sign of their houses constructed on an area dating back the the glorious period of a dynasty during the course of national history. The historical significance of a house might be a great fortune which is sought tirelessly by today families.  
  
Considering the underlying causes of this phenomenon, there is a range of viable measures to facilitate the research for historical values of decades-old houses. The first feasible option would be turning to experts on history in their local residential areas who have long carried out in-depth research into the historic periods in their neighbourhood. The second alternative would be the use of scientific progress which presents a thorough analysis into the deep-rooted history of houses based on the remaning artfacts.  
  
In conclusion, people now are rushing to seek the historical values of their houses out of mere curiosity and in search of a great fortune with the availability of technological tools and prominent historians.
The history of the house should not be confused with the historical value of a residence. The prior relates to the ownership history of the structure, while the latter informs of a protected status of a house based on historical significance. The prior is what the discussion essay is about. The writer did not understand the actual topic, showing a lack of comprehension skills, which will immediately fail his score in the preliminary TA section. He does not answer the 2 questions at all that would have helped reiterate his understanding of the topic. What is the reason? How can these be found? Respond to the questions to create the opinion platform for the reasoning paragraphs. Do not repeat the discussion instructions. That does not add to the score of the paragraph. It reduces it instead as it does not help establish the scoring requirements for the paragraph.  
  
While vocabulary considerations are important, the tone of the paragraph must be that of an everyday discussion. Such discussions require the writer to avoid exaggerations or technical jargon in the presentation. Always remember to consider the audience of the essay. Write for the reader, not for the score. When one writes for the score, he will often find that he will miss the consideration marks because of the incorrect writing focus.  
  
These observations do not mean to say that the reasoning paragraphs are incorrect because they are. However, the paragraphs can be improved based on overall scoring considerations. Never focus on just one scoring aspect because increasing in one aspect means sacrificing the score in the other sections. All sections must have strong scores. An overall writing skilll development is necessary to achieve this.
***It is shown that many criminals have a low level of education. Some people argue that the best way to reduce crime is to educate criminals in prison to help them find jobs when they leave prison.***  
  
## Do you agree or disagree?

  
  
It is a fact that many criminals are uneducated and thus unable to find a decent job. Due to this, many people say that incorporating education into incarceration is the optimal way to prevent those ex-offenders from recidivism after release. Personally, I completely agree that there is no better approach than this idea of bringing knowledge into jail.  
  
The first reason is that job training can give the lawbreakers a chance to start a crime-free life. Many criminals after being given back freedom feel completely lost in the outside society. They do not have the slightest idea of how to earn a living because of the lack of skills pertaining to any jobs. As a result, the stress to support themselves when the cost of living is ever-increasing can make them relapse into criminal behaviour again. However, by inmate education, the professional skillset is already equipped when the release date comes which will give those convicts a sense of confidence and self-reliance.  
  
Furthermore, it seems to me that when it comes to a solution to recidivism, any other pales into insignificance due to its ephemeral nature compared to how education can exert a long-lasting effect. Take post-prison monitoring as an example. This kind of measure will be downgraded gradually as time goes by, therefore, the possible threat is that the criminal will go on to another crime as the bad intention has taken root in his head. However, with rehabilitation programs and job training, this possibility will be greatly ruled out as wrongdoers are given a new purpose in life. This is enough to keep them away from descending into a criminal lifestyle again.  
  
In conclusion, I believe that education is the best measure in assisting poorly-educated convicts to integrate into society as it not only gives criminals the opportunity to land a job after release but also has a positive and lasting impact in the long run.
Do not refer to a statement of fact. It is incorrect to say an idea is factual and correct when no reference is made in the essay. Keep the general statement feel of the original presentation. No information is right, none is wrong either. There is only a statement of idea, nothing more. Since this is not an extent essay, the response is incorrectly formatted. This is a simple (dis)agree presentation. Learn to recognize the difference in discussion modes.  
  
Nothing should "seem" anything to the writer as this weakens his opinion statement. Either he supports the idea or not. There is no "probably" in the discussion. It will lower the TA score in relation to opinion clarity. Do not question your own opinion.  
  
The run-on sentence at the end of the concluding summary will not work. These need to be separated into at least 3 sentences. Run-on presentations will always result in failing GRA scores.  
  
The problems should be decreasing with your writing presentations by now. Yet more problems are coming up. Why is that? Are you truly listening to the lessons I am teaching or are you mixing teaching styles in your presentation which results in this kind of writing. If that is the case, you have to go back to the teacher whose writing style is more comfortable for you. I cannot continue to teach someone who is not listening to me. Listen to the teacher you believe in, who is obviously not me.
Ielts is not a test for vocabulary, try to simplify your words as they do not help you get a higher bandscore but just confuse the examiner with the ZOMBIE words. The second paragraph seems alright as you use the suitable vocabulary but still miss the TR aspect since you have to match the end of the paragraph with your topic sentence. DO not say sth different as this makes your argument lack of evidence and strength of viewpoint. The conclusion should have a sentence for prediction/recommendation.
## evidence of global warming

  
  
Severe floods and thunderstorms are other vulnerabilities that remain very loyal vicegerents of global warming. The raising thermometer evaporates invisible water droplets into the atmosphere, adding volume to the darkest clouds. When the angered sky punches the surface with its stored liquid, the Earth cries for help from the heavens. The soil erodes from the fruitful land like the peeling of the skin adjacent to the nails. While this degradation pushes the breathing beings to leave their forever-lived habitats, many drown in the monstrous flow of the water. The muddy and dirt-carrying body hits up homes, trees, and other infrastructure like a charging bull and destroys the lives of mankind. This catastrophe unleashes man to deadly health vulnerabilities. Surely, no one ever wants to experience such calamities frequently. It is now evident that global warming exposes man to lethal floods and thunderstorms.
When writing a descriptive paragraph, the author must remember to consider the audience that he is writing for. The wording or vocabulary used in the essay should be one that reflects the crowd that will be reading this statement. In this case, the writer has over done the word usage. It is not gared towards the student group that will be reading this essay. While it is nice to know that the writer knows advanced English vocabulary and he has a knack for writing creative pieces, the essay itself is problematic since it tends to over emphasize the discussion in the wrong manner. He should be sticking to everyday English words that can easily be understood by his peers. He has written a creative piece that is not a descriptive paragraph as is required by the presentation.
## write a report for a university lecturer describing the information in the table

  
  
the table shows the output of two factories in their toy production from 2003 to 2007.  
Factory A's output value steadily went up from 2003 to 2007. Increasing from 0.84 million in 2003 to 160 million in 2007, indicate a rise of 0.76 million. In the same period, factory B's output value, on the contract, sharply fell from 1.80 million in 2003 to 0.90 million, with a fall of 0.1 million each year. Although the output value in 2006 rose to 1.66, it dramatically decreased in 2007, indicating a fall of 0.76,  
  
From the table, we can see that factory A's output value in toy production kept growing while factory B' one dropped all the time.  
  
The cause of the decrease of factory B's output value must have been the poor management.
Since the writer wrote far less than the minimum 150 words, there is no possibility that this analysis can receive a passing score. A conscious effort to meet the word count should be made to prevent the failure of the essay due to word count percentage deductions. It will be impossible for this work to receive even a low passing score since it is improperly written, little analyzed, and shows a lack of care in developing the presentation.  
  
There is a lack of proper summary and there is no representation for the trending statement. These are 2 early scoring considerations that receive scores before the analyitical report is even considered by the examiner. Due to incorrect sentence and word formation, the writer cannot receive a passing GRA score either. He totally disregards English writing rules that cover how sentences are created (Each first word must start with a capital letter).  
  
As an analytical essay, I cannot say that this writer has made an effort to achieve a passing score. It is the work of someone who is not serious with his work and does not care whether he passes or fails the test.
In writing task 1, there is no requirement to make a prediction like "The cause of the decrease of ..." Everything you have to do is to analyze the data and present it in a relationship with other categories, giving the readers an overall picture of the trends and the significant details. I guess the only sentence as your 3rd paragraph is your overview. It should never be placed there and instead, right after the introductory sentence.  
  
"Factory A's output ... Increasing from 0.84 ..." - These 2 sentences were supposed to be only one. You made the second sentence one without a subject by carelessly separating it.  
  
must have been " on the contrast" - you made no proofreading.
## effects of playing video games

  
  
Video games is a common things in nowadays, people can play on their phone or their PC and they can play in every devices in every time they wanted to. Some people think that playing video games is awful and it just wasting their time. This essay will discuss both views of this topic.  
  
There are 2 main problems about why they think video games is bad. Firstly, they can be easily rage at all when they got killed by someone or lost a match of that game. Most of gamers nowadays are the kids, they can play their favorites game on their parent's laptop or their phone at every moment even when they eating or they can even play video games at the restroom. In general, they can play in every single place and the kids will get rage so easily that they can broke everything in the house just because one random guy killed the kid due to the first problem I'm talking about right now. Secondly, the video games is so attractive that they can easily got addicted, I've seen on YouTube about the kid who was addicted to a Shooting Game and he's crazy right now. I can see that game addiction is more affective than the drugs which is crazy.  
  
However, some people do not think that video is wasting their time and bad as everyone see. Video games is the easiest way to learn a new language or you can learn something that you haven't know or heard before which is the most popular benefit. Video games is a good places to chill out with your friends and even your old friends, when you grew up, the video games is just a fun place to vibe, is not a try-hard game or took it seriously like you and your bros used to anymore. Now they only cares about chilling in-game and troll some people which is really really fun and have some unforgettable moments with them  
  
In conclusion, while people thinking playing video game is goof off and suck, I believe that people should see the advantages and have a great look of the video games
The prompt restatement is faulty for 2 reasons:  
1. It does not restate the original topic based on the given discussion basis  
2. The writer assumes that he can start his personal opinion discussion in the prompt restatement + personal opinion presentation  
  
These 2 errors will ensure that the TA score for this essay will be a failing one since it does not accomplish the requirements of the paragraph. The writer does not even offer his personal opinion at the end of the paragraph which is part of the standard response format for this discussion instruction.  
  
He is supposed to present the 2 topics, restated, within the reasoning paragraphs. The idea is to explain the reasons behind the public support of the opinion first, then indicate what he thinks of the presented opinion. That is where the "give your opinion" aspect of the discussion comes in.  
  
Try as the writer might to properly discuss the essay, the fact that he does not properly represent his personal opinion of both topics in relation to video games means that he has presented a faulty argument twice in the essay. While the essay might receive some scoring consideration, the lack of expected response format presentation will prove to be difficult to overcome.
The language you are using is not academic one and instead, often seen in daily conversations. Phrases, phrasal verbs like "you and your bros", " goof off and suck" should have no place in writing task 2. The same for contractions like "I've".  
  
Your expression with the repetition of "really" also gives me the impression that you are speaking instead of writing.  
Furthermore, unacceptable preposition added right in the introductory paragraph "in nowadays, in every time" lead me to the conclusion that you dont have a good grasp of English due to little exposure to this language.  
  
Whatever, your essay is understandable and the idea is clear to me. What you should do now is work on your grammar, polish your sentences up with more academic words
Hi, I try to learn to write the IELTS writing exams. I would like to ask for help to check and give back to my writing. How can I improve my writings? because my goal is to score 7 in this section. Thank you for your help.  
  
**Topic:  
*Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular.***  
## Do the advantages of shopping this way overweigh the disadvantages.

  
  
Nowadays, the growth of the Internet makes it easier to purchase goods online, from books, tickets to groceries, etc. Even though there are some disadvantages of buying things on the Internet such as scammers, and goods are not strictly controlled by the government, the benefits of purchasing things online are overweighed.  
  
Scammers are one of the biggest problems when buying things online. When you look at online stores, many stores don't have certifications or physical addresses. They can sell things from their basement, their home, and the customers can not know. As a result, they can easily sell low-quality, fake products to the consumers without being caught, and the buyers can not do anything except leave bad comments. The sellers just make another account and the sequences continue. Moreover, the government can not control the sellers strictly. Online markets such as Lazada, and Shopee give the sellers the power to be unknown. They can erase their online footprint, which makes it the government so hard to find out where they are and how they get the goods.  
  
On the other hand, there are many advantages when come to shopping online. The best benefit is convenience. Buyers do not need to go anywhere, they can just stay at home, surf the Internet, and find a store that allows online purchases. For instance, a man from Vietnam can buy a pair of shoes from the USA without leaving his flat. Moreover, the products sold online are usually cheaper. Online shopping makes it easier for the sellers to reach out to the ideal customers so that the prices are usually lower.  
  
From my point of view, the benefits of buying things online are outranked the disadvantages. There are some ways to prevent bad things happen when shopping online such as examining the products before paying, checking the reviews, or only purchasing products from legal stores. It is necessary to add the point that the Internet is growing significantly, and at some points in the future, online shopping will be the main way to buy goods.