dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
it is important to present the graph here  
  
The ~~given~~ pie charts provide information about ~~the~~ percentage of ~~the~~~~workmen's~~ workers' relations with their chiefs and colleagues. The surveys ~~is~~ conducted in ~~20015 and 2009~~2009 and 2015 .  
  
Overall, it ~~is~~can be seen that working men tended to maintain very good relationships to their leaders and colleagues.  
  
The data ~~presents~~presented that in 2005  
  
~~Besides,~~despite this , in the next four years, the survey's results~~have~~had no significant differences .
**The colorful propaganda maps in 20 century wars**  
  
Maps made to persuade to the public during war times were funy, attractive and informative. This is occurance during 20 century, every maps has hidden agenda, it is clear to convince to the public that war is must have and they has common enemies. For the example, war map of Rusia created in 1900 by Frederick Rose, British cartographer, this map reveal detils about politics, art and cultur of the countries. The main actor of this map revealed by big octopus with big body and long tentacles reaching out in all directions, strangling Poland, Finland, and China, and reaching toward Turkey, Afghanistan, and Persia. As the result, most european are depicted as victim of Rusia colonialism. In addition, war map can be seen international situation in one picture, and make fast the spread of information in the world. Pople will easy to understand the information but several persons it called propaganda.  
  
*
Hi bams, I have some advice for you.  
  
Maps is made to persuade (...) times were funn y, attractive and informative.  
.., every map~~s~~ has hidden agenda, (...) that war ~~is~~ must have an object is needed here since "have" is a transitive verb and they has common enemies. For ~~the~~ example, war map of Rusia created ...  
  
Best regard
Hello Bams, this is some correction from me. Feel free to correct me too!  
  
Maps made ~~to~~ persuade to........  
*Maps made persuade to.....*  
  
.....the public during war times were ~~funy~~ , attractive and informative.  
*......the public during war times were **funny**, attractive and informative.*  
  
.....every maps has hidden agenda.....  
*......every maps **have** hidden agenda....* or you can use *......every **map** has hidden agenda....*  
  
.....war ~~is~~ must have and they ~~has~~ common enemies.  
*.....war must have and they **have** common enemies.*  
  
.....this map reveal ~~detils~~ about....  
*.....this map reveal **details** about....*  
  
Thanks, keep practice!
Helo bams,  
Hope you doing well, lemme give you some suggestion  
  
==> Maps made to persuade to the public during war times were funy, attractive and informative( this sentence tend to make me confuse).  
==> ~~This is occurance~~(This occurred or happened) during 20 century, every maps ~~has~~(was a) hidden agenda,  
==> it is clear to convince ~~to~~ the public that war is must have and they has common enemies.(tend to make me confuse)  
==> this map reveal ~~detils~~(details) about politics, art and cultur(e) of the countries.  
==> The main actor of this map revealed by (a) big octopus with (a) big body (which has a big body) and long tentacles (to) reaching out in all directions,..  
  
==> ... European are depicted as (the) victim of Rusia colonialism. In addition, war map can be seen (as) international situation in one picture, and make fast the spread of information in the world(tend to make me confuse).  
  
==> Pople will ~~easy to~~ (easily) understand the information ~~but several persons it called propaganda~~(tend to make me confuse)  
  
Good luck and keep writing :)
Topic : **A lot of entertainment stars have had the problem of drug dependency before they become famous. Do you think that those people have bad effects on children?**  
  
( Please give me approprate band for this essay)  
  
Many media celebrities , who have been seriously involved in drug dependency , allegedly exert negative implications on youth generation , especially adolescent fans . Personally ,I am out of accord with the aforementioned conception and will attempt to investigate both negative and positive influences of notable individuals in this essay.  
  
Foremost , there are ample evidence indicate the negative effects . In the contemporary society , young people normally show propensity to imitate significantly the famous individuals without any consideration about their history . These over-reverence could be precursor for these immature fans to change their pattern of lifestyle or trend of fashion so as to be alike with idols .Thus,the prominent repercussions worth mentioning are propagating the adolescents with negative drug scandals or misled,biased information about drugs . Under several circumstances , these celebrities , hence , would be predominant culprits,which catalyse rising incidences of drugs dealers , and facilitate this debatable crimes burgeon.If it wasn't for any mechanism supported from parents and authority, they would encounter numerous obstacles to cope with this issues.  
  
In contrast , majority of notable individuals have outperformed after being involved in drug dependency . These people not only help regulatory bodies to eradicate rampant spread of drugs but also host indispensable position in diffusing right perspective . Celebrities , who have suffered from drugs detrimental effects , would make more appealing speech about the health deterioration , exponential hazards rooted from drug usage . Moreover , they could bring more pragmatic value and absolutely be a great role models for youth generation to imitate .  
  
As outlined previously , there are myriad of factors potentially contribute to the affection ,both associated benefits and considerable drawbacks need to be brought into consideration.
Hi ronaldo71,  
I have some advice you  
  
- Foremost, there ~~are~~**is** ample evidence indicate ...  
... young people normally show **the** propensity to imitate significantly ...  
- ~~These~~**this** over-reverence could be precursor ...  
- ... culprits,which ~~catalyse~~**catalyze** rising incidences of drugs dealers  
- If it wasn't for any mechanism supported ~~from~~**by** parents and authority  
- In contrast, **the** majority of notable individuals have ...  
  
Hope it helps :)
Dear Ronaldo, here are some advices for your essay, feel free to correct me,  
  
Many media celebrities -->  
  
*The media which show about celebrities*  
  
individuals in this essay -->  
  
*no need to mention it*  
  
misled,biased -->  
  
*misled as well as biased*  
  
Okay, base on my point of view, you do have wide range of lexical resources. The coherence as well as the grammatical errors are at minimum level. If it comes to score which band is it, well, I think you deserve band more than 6, but actually you can score yourselves by analyzing your writing based on IELTS guidance for writing task 2. Hope it answers your doubt,  
  
Regards
**Speak like a leader**  
  
Recently, most people in the several countries does not have good speaking, because too difficult speak infront off the audience and they are do not know the way how to be good speaker. Simon lancaster TED speaker said in the TEDx on august 2016, speaking like leader is not hard, it was simple and easy learned. He said, there were six step to learn speaking like a leader, those were:  
  
1.Three breathles sentences  
This way often used by leader when they speaking infront of the public, three breathles sentennces mean in one breath we speak 3 sentences or word with good voice.  
  
2.Three repetitive sentences  
This mean to emphasize the important point of topic to convince the audience, for example ,in the future i will creates new good life, new idea, new concept and new freedom for this countries.  
  
3.Three balancing statments  
Most leader in the world always use balancing statement when they speak in the public, their statment not blaming in one topic or one object, but they use balancing data or case, for illustrates, the leader speak case rightnow, they are not only talk about now but also talk about past time and the future time as several persons it is interesting topic.  
  
4.Rhyme  
It is one of important part in speaking more people can not use it caused by too hard to create rhyme in the speaking.  
  
5.Exaggeration  
Exaggeration is art of speaking, make up the sentences with good word, avoid negative word eventhough that is fact.  
  
6.Methapor.  
It will make interesting speaking with good word like idiom to create beautiful sentences.  
  
All of Above are steps to speak like a leader, simple and will make your speak like a real the leader.  
In conclusion all of peopole in the world can speak in infront of audience if they are know the way .
Helllo brother  
Let me give you some advices  
  
... in the several countries do not have good manner of speaking  
  
because too difficult speak infront off the audience and they are do not know ... . >> because speaking in front of audience is difficult and they do not know they way to be good speaker  
  
it was simple and easy learned >>it is simple and easy to learn  
those were >> those are  
  
keep writing
When we ask about what the meaning of success is, so success is about what you can do. Everything you do now is worth more than just much money, also not about your aptitude, or not even your smartness.  
  
From ten years of research, five-hundred interviews and thousands of success stories from the other sources, eventually, he could get common factor for success.  
There are eight traits successful people have in common. The biggest factor is "passion", so you can love what you do started from now. Then, it is followed by working really hard to be in the process of success. You should still focus on your purpose and make it simple that you just pay attention in one thing, not everything. Obstacles always appear in front of our way to success so that if you can keep pushing yourself then you will achieve your future. Coming up with good ideas is a feature to ease your step and it will innovate your life. Afterwards, you should keep improving yourself and then do not forget to serve other with your value because success is not just about your own life. The last is to persist, showing that there is no overnight success.  
  
Those are the foundation from the other specific skills which can be expanded and this traits wil be the heart of our success.
Hello  
You have a good summary  
I have some corrections  
  
When ~~we~~ people ask about what the meaning of success ~~is~~ , ~~s~~**it can define**~~success is~~ about what you can do. Everything you do now is worth ~~more than~~ not just much money, also not about your ~~aptitude~~ ability, or not even your smartness.  
  
... thousands of success stories from ~~the other~~ another sources, ...  
There are eight ~~traits~~ personality **for being** successful ~~people~~ person have in common.  
... is "passion", so ~~you~~ people can love what you do **from**started ~~from~~ now.  
... and make it simple that ~~you just pay attention~~ focus in one thing, not everything.  
... of our way to success so ~~that~~ if you can keep **for**pushing yourself then you will ...  
... do not forget to serve other **people** with your value because ...  
  
You can change the words with another similar word.
One of a hundred child in a worldwide has some kind of heart disease. The problem starts during pregnancy. The fetus needs to survive by communicating with the system and pulmonary blood inside their mother. After child getting birth, the communication has to stop and if it doesn't close it will make a hole in the child's heart. This phenomenon caused by prematurity and genetics condition. Major surgery is the only one solution to close the hole, yet Mr. Frenz Freudenthal and team have found a way to solve this problem by using a coil. This method was a success but it doesn't work on the baby who lives at 12,000 feet high. They have different heart conditions, their orifice between the arteries is larger. The baby cannot afford to be treated and die. The coil is only success in a half of Bolivia. Mr. Frenz and team tried to make a new device by using a traditional weaving complex pattern. The weaving let them created a seamless device. The device designed with a smart material that will not rust. It works by expands itself to be a complex structure. The device enters to the baby through the natural channel. The doctor only carries on the device close to the catheter through the hole, it will expand and close the hole. This method is no need a surgery and only takes 30 minutes. They committed to make sure that no one child is left behind, so they started to develop a foundation with one to one model. Everyone device mounted, everyone free device will be given.  
  
Source: ted.com/talks/franz\_freudenthal\_a\_new\_way\_to\_heal\_hearts\_without\_surgery#t-524414
**Question : Internet-based social networking sites are designed to help bring people together. However, they have a negative effect on the way we communicate with one another.  
  
Do you agree or disagree?**  
  
Social media makes people unite by having an effective communication. Although social networking sites such as Facebook and Instagram providing many inappropriate photos and videos, it increases the opportunity to some professions like writers and bloggers to connect with their readers. I would argue that Facebook influences children to become addicted to it.  
  
The biggest negative effect when children start to use social media is addiction. This is because they are fear of missing out new information.This resulted in losing focus and attention in the class. A 2012 study from Iowa University found that children spent 44.5 hours on average per week in front of screens and therefore this condition will lower the motivation to study. Despite this, social media help students to communicate directly with experts to discuss a particular subject like science and ask input to develop their ability.  
  
In Facebook there are many links in which providing improper photos and videos because all users are able to upload photos or videos without censors. In the February Pediatrics 2010, Psychologist Kimberly Mitchel, PhD, and Finkelhor discovered that 42 percent of 1,500 internet users aged 10-17 were exposed to online porn, two-third of whom were unwanted exposure, meaning that they were looking for it unintentionally. However, Facebook helps them to have a contact with other people with same hobbies such as drawing and support one another.  
  
In conclusion, social media helps children to keep in touch with experts or others who have a same anxiety, but I believe it makes them losing their concentration and leading to sexual harassment.
Dear Faridadwi, here are some advices for your writing, feel free to correct me if I get wrong,  
  
Social media makes people unite by ... -->  
  
*Social media has united people to have an effective communication*  
  
*providing ~~many~~ inappropriate photos and videos*  
  
it increases the opportunity to some professions ...  
*it gives the opportunity to some professions, such as, writers and bloggers to engage their work with the readers.*  
  
I would argue that Facebook influences ...  
*In my opinion, I would argue that Facebook give bad influences to children, such as, addiction.*  
  
The biggest negative effect  
  
*The common negative effect*  
  
social media is addiction. This is because they are fear of ...  
*social media is addiction which is caused by their fear of missing out new information, in consequences they may lost focus and attention in their studies*  
  
Hope it helps you to improve your essay,  
  
Regards
**Donald Trump is right, America's airports are awful**  
  
During the first of presidential debate of the USA, Donald Trump's made a statement that "our airports are like from a third-world country". However, it is no hyperbole, it is extremely right. Based on Skytrax annual report, five airports in developing countries are better than the top American airport. Even, the top 50 airports, only 4 airports in the United States while developing countries supply 15. For example: New York JFK and Los Angeles LAX are in 59th and 91st respectively.  
  
However, such phenomenon is caused by chronic underinvestment in public infrastructure across the country. The American airport has a tendency to focus on the domestic market, where there is not number of tough competitions and pressure to improve. Meanwhile, as the top airport in the world, Singapore Changi Airport, always construct new infrastructures and utilize advance technology to support them as the most convenience airport to transit.  
  
**Note: fell free to comments and please give me clear explanation**
Hello,  
Here some inputs for you  
  
However, it is ~~no~~**not**~~hyperbole~~**hiperbolic**, it is extremely right.  
... only 4 airports **(located)** in the United States while ...  
  
..., where there ~~is~~**are** not ~~number of~~**(a)** tough competition~~s~~*uncountable* and pressure to improve.  
  
**Good luck!**
Hello Abrahamlincoln, I want to you gain some suggestions from me  
  
here we go  
  
... USA, Donald Trump~~**'s**~~ made a statement...  
However, it is ~~**no**~~**not** hyperbole, **[you need some conjuction in here]** it is extremely right.  
... only 4 airports ~~**in**~~**from** the United States while developing countries ~~supply~~**send** 15 **to that report** .  
  
**be careful with "from" or "in" in your writing**  
  
However, ~~**such**~~**a** phenomenon is caused ...  
The American airport **departement** has a tendency to focus ...  
  
**be careful with your really meaning**  
  
note: keep writing and go ahead.
... of the USA, Donald Trump~~'s~~(YOU SHOULD KNOW USING 'S I GIVE YOU SOME EXAMPLE DENI'S BOOKS, JONI'S CARS, MIKE'S UMBRELLA ETC.)~~made~~GAVE a statement that ...  
  
However, it ~~is~~WASIN THIS ESSAY YOU SHOULD USE PAST TENSESE no hyperbole, it is extremely right.  
.., five airports in developing countries ~~are~~ better than ...  
... JFK and Los Angeles LAX ~~are~~ in 59th and 91st respectively.  
  
However, such phenomenon ~~is~~ caused by chronic ...  
... where there ~~is~~ not number of tough competitions ...
Helen Fisher started her presentation by overview of why people do built love. Thus, tendency of male to have several wives are undeniable in every culture as it is common to have and build love to each other. Meanwhile, the technology has helped us to transform the era of loving each other. She conducted research to investigate the brain function during processing love emotion and invented that human brain has ability in controlling sex drive, feeling towards partner and bonding with long-term partner, which combined together to form sexual, romantic and have family senses.  
  
Furthermore, the effect of technology to the love emotion between individual does not changed at all, instead it modified by a modern trend called the concept of paradox of choice. This concept had been identified in the brain and conclude the changes in how brain cope with it, by calling it as cognitive overload. In consequence of cognitive overload, slow love was invented. This could be seen by overlooking the statistics data: over 50 percent of American today do have long-term partners but not marry each other as the terrified consequences are unavoidable. After all, the people do have romantic relation in their life, even only once.
Hi...  
... by overview of why people ~~do built~~**build** love.  
... in every culture**as**~~it~~ which[/b] is common to have and ...  
Meanwhile, the technology has helped **us**(refers to??) to transform the era ...  
.., which combined **together to****with** form sexual, romantic and have family senses.  
  
Furthermore, the effect of technology to**the** love ~~emotion~~ between (...), instead ~~it~~**of** modified by a modern trend**which is** called the concept of ...  
**This****Such**concept had been identified in the brain ...  
  
Thank you
Hi Fadhil,  
I have some advice for you  
  
- Helen Fisher started her presentation by **the** overview of why people do ~~built~~**build** love  
- Thus, **the** tendency of male to have ...  
- human brain has **an** ability in controlling sex drive  
- Furthermore, the effect of technology ~~to~~**on** the love (...) does not change~~d~~ at all, instead it modified ...  
  
Hope it helps :)
**Article Summary: Bouncy Bone can be 3D-printed to become a universal repair kit**  
  
The newly developed ink can be used to 3D-print flexible bone implants in any size, shape and form, giving surgeons a cheap and versatile way of repairing an injury. Ramille Shah at Northwestern University in Illinois and her colleagues have developed an ink that can be 3D-printed into bone implants that ultra-elastic, allowing surgeons to cut and manipulate them to form the perfect shape.  
  
The ink is made from hydroxyapatite, a mineral found naturally in bine, and PLGA, a polymer that binds the mineral particle together and gives the implants their elasticity. In the test, the implants healed spinal defects in rats as fast and as well as existing treatments. The team also made an implant to heal an area of damaged skull in a monkey. Shah says the material should reach in the clinic within five years.
Hello Yonathan  
These below are my thoughts towards your summary. Hopefully, that can help you significantly.  
Check it out  
GOOD LUCK  
  
The new~~ly~~(You have to distinguish between forms of adjective and adverb) developed ink can be used ...  
... developed an ink that can be UTILIZED TO 3D-printed into bone (...), allowing THE surgeons to cut and manipulate them ~~to~~ SO THAT IT CAN(Make sure what you write is what you mind) form the perfect shape.  
  
.., a mineral found naturally in ~~bine~~ THE BONE, and PLGA~~,~~ . (You should place period here, not comma. It is better if you reread your summary before you upload so that you can reconstruct better. You have to find the better flow) THAT IS a polymer that binds ...  
  
The team also made ~~an~~ THE implant to heal an ...  
Shah ~~says~~ SAID the material should reach ...
The autonomous vehicle was a dream and it is still the dream since 1939. But, recently years, dream took a step forward when the state of Nevada granted Google's self-driving car become the first license for an autonomous vehicle. California's considering similar legislation. In the speaker lab at Stanford, he has been working on autonomous cars too with a little of different from commonly autonomous cars. He developing robotic race cars, and develop their performances to the limit of physical performance. There are some reasons why he choose to develop robotic race cars. First, the autonomous car should be at least as good as the best human drivers. Almost majority of the people know that human ability as a driver in above-average as a driver. And the last is he want the robotic race cars has capabilities of fast speed and avoid any accident can occur. He has a map of a race track and a mathematical model of a car with some iteration, he find that the fastest way around that track. The last, he compared with data that he was recorded from an expert of driver, the results is absolutely remarkable.
heloo dioba  
I have suggestion for you  
  
The autonomous vehicle was a dream ~~and it is still the dream~~ since 1939.  
  
In the speaker ~~lab~~laboratory at Stanford, he has been working on autonomous cars ~~too~~as well with ~~a little of~~ different from commonly autonomous cars.  
  
~~And~~the last is he want the robotic race ...  
The last , he compared with data that he ...  
**you said "the last" twice**  
  
thanks