dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
Why do you totally disagree? What are the reasoning topics you will be discussing? Present the outline of topics to increase the clarity of your opinion. You can say "I totally disagree with this idea based on 2 reasons. First.... Second..." That will be enough to help create a stronger prompt restatement + Response outline for your next paragraphs.  
  
As an extent / degree essay, you must use justifications for your opinion in the 2 reasoning paragraphs. Convince the reader that your opinion is the correct one by disproving 2 publicly known norms or information that you feel can be counter argued. This essay is strongest when done using counter arguments. That means, present what people believe to be correct about the topic, then present information that disproves the said opinion. Hence the "degree" or "extent" of your disagreement. You could say something like "While it is accepted that.... is beneficial to the environment, I oppose this idea because the end result of that practice is..." Just to give you an idea of how to create a counter argument. Yes, this is one essay where the written debate format can be used.
## The graph below gives information about total oil use of 4 main consumers from 2009 to 2030

  
  
My writing:  
  
The line graph illustrates oil consumption of four different major consumers in the 2009-2030 period.  
  
It is noticeable that oil consumption of the US and Western Europe and Japan are expected to decline while the figure for China and the Middle East are predicted to increase from 2009 to 2030. The US will be the region that consumes the most oil of the period shown.  
  
In 2009, the US accounted for the biggest amount of oil consumed per day, about 10 million barrels, which is bigger than a combination of all oil consumption of all other areas. Western Europe and Japan used approximately 4 million barrels per day, while two rest regions consumed the same minimum amount of oil, 2 million barrels per day.  
  
From 2009 to 2015, the oil consumption of the US was remained at about 10 million barrels per day, before experienced a falling trend and will be predicted to drop to approximately 4 million barrels in 2030. Although the oil consumption of China was always higher than the figure for the Middle East, both regions shared the same tendency of raising. The figure for both areas is expected to increase to about 3 million barrels per day by the year 2030. By contrast, the amount of oil consumption of China gradually decreased and will be forecast to fall to over 2 million barrels per day at the end of the period shown.  
  
Pls take a look and give me any comment. Thank you so much.  
  
*
The task allows only 20 minutes for total writing, that includes editing and proof reading. So the standard writing practice for the Task 1 essay has always been to write between 150 - 190 words, 200 max. Any word count more than that means you will have a tendency to cut into the task 2 writing time. With 236 words for this essay, you actually wrote more of a task 2 essay than an analytical report as required.  
  
The summary overview is incomplete at it does not enumerate the immediately shared information from the line graph which includes the countries that represent the consumer report. There is no clear trending statement in this presentation. The trending statement is a single sentence that highlights the final graph assessment relating to a particular sector. Either that is on the up trend or the down trend. Your presentation lacks the singular clarity and focus that represents the trending sentence. This is normally represented by the phrase; "Overall" or "The most significant trend is..."
Everyone should become vegetarian because they do not need to eat meat to have a healthy diet. Agree or disagree  
  
There is currently a contentious argument over whether the vegetarian diet is more beneficial for health than eating meat. I somewhat agree with this idea because the following reasons.  
  
The main reason why I agree that raising many poultry and cattle to supply food for humans is unnecessary is because vegetable and cereal contain vitamins, minerals, proteins, and vital others which are sufficient to maintain life functions for humans. To illustrate, people could replace cow's milk with soy milk to implement Calcium and still ensure that the quality and the content of Calcium derived from the bean is equivalent to the ones in animals.  
  
The second reason why I support the notion that eating some kinds of meat could be harmful to health is due to the consumption of meat is associated with an increased risk of cancer as well as heart disease. For example, saturated fat which is found in beef and pork causes the cancers of breast and colon. Moreover, methods of cooking meat at high temperature would create toxic compounds, this leads to not only nutrient loss but also unwanted health consequences such as cardiovascular diseases.  
  
However, pregnant women and children are not suitable for a vegetarian diet because the vegetable products could not meet their increased demand at that time. The lack of meat-derived nourishment in a daily meal would lead to malnutrition.  
  
In conclusion, I partly agree that eating meat is unnecessary because vegetable consumption could supply nutritive substances inadequately for daily actions, and eating some kind of meat has a bad effect on health. However, pregnant woman and children need to eat meat to ensure that their body is not malnutrition.
The subject proposed for this prompt is not being presented in an argumentative form. It is presented as an opinion for your consideration, hence the agree or disagree question. As such, it should not be framed in an exaggerated manner such as a "contentious argument" as that is not the given discussion format. Such exaggerations do have an effect on your TA score, regardless of how minimal the deductions will be for it. Deductions still count in the end score. Now, since this not an extent essay, you cannot represent a partial agreement for this response either.  
  
The format you have used for the overall response presentation is therefore incorrect and will force this essay to get a TA score based on a partially correct response due an incorrect format response. That is not going to help your overall score because you will not get a passing TA score at the very start, affecting the overall possibility of this essay gaining a passing mark.  
  
You have opposing opinions presented in the overall discussion. Note that in the thesis statement, you indicated a partial agreement with the statement. Then, in the reasoning paragraph, you stated that you agree, without the word "partially", indicating a full agreement with the original statement. This creates an unclear opinion on your part, confusing the examiner in the process. The first two reasons that support the agreement is correct. This is not a comparison essay, nor is it an extent essay. So the singular point of view discussion should be used. The pregnant women part of the discussion will not be considered and will be deducted from your word count instead.  
  
Your 277 word count will be reduced and the total word count will actually be 239 words. That means, a percentage of TA points will be be deducted due to the missing 11 words. There will be double lowering of points for you in the TA section, which could indicate that you will not get a passing score overall for this presentation.
## space exploration technology

  
  
*Some people argue that space exploration has had more to do with national pride than international effort.  
To what extent do you agree?  
How do you think space exploration will change in the future?*  
  
As far as the space exploration is concerned, obviously it has become one of the most noticeable issues in the world that governments should take into deep consideration. Whereas some countries tend to regard it as their prideful achievement, people from different parts of the world consider that international cooperation is quite necessary to develop this department. This essay will support my favor for the latter opinion and discuss how advanced technology will alter the space exploration.  
  
It is totally comprehensible when some superpower countries always desire to possess the "crown", which means standing on the highest position in the world. For this reason, they usually try to pursue significant or even nearly impossible dreams just in order to demonstrate their superior power. For example, unlike weapon fights having occured in World War 1, there was a cold war between Western and Eastern areas after World War 2, which mainly focused on the best solution to help people land on the Moon. In essence, this was definitely an advanced technology competition, which ended up with the winner award belonging to the Western bloc, especially when the US succeeded to take Neil Armstrong to the Moon for the first time of its history. This achievement led the America reached its zenith of power in the world.  
  
On the other hand, I strongly adhere to my sentiments that endeavoring to make good use of space exploration should be regarded by authorities to a great extent. This demands a tight collaboration of multiple countries to make the exploration of space change in the most positive way in the future. Hence, space can be easily and fiercely explored not only to develop tourism but also to establish new home shelters in other planets for people, in case the exhausted Earth may no longer be alive in the upcoming time as it is immensely impacted by the climate change and other toxic factors. Luckily, as a great tribute to NASA - the international organization specializing in space and astronomy has recently succeeded to land its medium-sized aircraft on Mars and will still continue to exploit the planet later on.  
  
By and large, in spite of the fact that a small portion of national pride will probably disrupt the worldwide collaboration, I still place a high value on international effort, which will be the inevitable part helping space exploration to cope with several hot problems. It is also alarming to invest more in the research of space exploration technology.
You have a maximum of 40 minutes to write this paper. The proper word allotment is within 250-300 words due to the editing, proofreading, and finalization of the presentation. You cannot complete more than 400 words for your writing based on these guidelines. Next time, try to write within the suggested word count instead. While there is no penalty for writing more words, you should be focused on the quality, clarity, and overall presentation of the paper, rather than just the word count. Long essays more often than not, end up with more errors, less clarity, and a failure to actually comply with the prompt requirements. Hence the suggested word count. It is important to be able to double check yourself when writing these Task 2 essays in an effort to increase your score per rubic consideration and overall.  
  
There is an immediate an noticeable error in this presentation that will automatically affect your TA score. You failed to respond properly to the direct questions being asked. There is no appropriate thesis statement presented at the end of the presentation. You neither give a proper measured response, nor provide the proper topic outline based on the reason for your position and what specific change will happen in the future. The lack of clear thesis statement will affect the clarity of your response based on the TA considerations.  
  
Do not alter the discussion topic. Use relevant examples for your discussion. World War 2 changes the profile of that that discussion, making it about the war rather than the space race. That War had nothing to 2 with the race for space exploration. That is all about the race to the moon, which was not really well discovered at the time. The phrase "space exploration" is a more modern reference as China, America, Russia, India, and other countries are racing to be the first to Mars, where actual space exploration has already begun in earnest, causing international pride for America, who is backing Elon Musk and his relatively successful SpaceX programs. NASA is heavily reliant on the SpaceX programs for its trip to Mars and current remote exploration of that planet so your reference points, are a bit off, but acceptable since the main requirement is to use your understanding of the publicly available information.
There are some position and spelling mistakes in your essay. Using 'occurred' instead of 'occured'. The 'obviously' stands in the middle of the first sentence so you should add one more comma behind that adverb. Using 'America' instead of 'the America' in the last sentence of the second paragraph. Using 'lead... to reach' instead of 'lead...reached'. There are many free websites that assist you to check spelling mistakes.  
  
Moreover, your thesis is not clear as @Holt mentioned above, you should give the thesis statement at the beginning of the paragraph and use ideas to support it.
## **Tell about the most interesting film you have seen recently.**

  
*Briefly discuss its plot, its setting and the most important problems it deals with. Mention the director's, script writer's and cameraman's work. Comment briefly on the actors' performance. Say who would recommend the film to.*  
  
'Passengers' is the most interesting film I've recently sat through and watched from the beginning to the very end without averting my gaze from the screen. I think it was fantastic, mind-blowing. 'Passengers' doesn't only scratch the surfice of existentialism but rather dives right into it and reaches the very bottom.  
  
The story itself is not something that unique to the sci-fi genre: in the distant future, where the Earth's population has technologically advanced enough to colonize other planets, a spaceship with over hundred passengers in cryo pods is sent to populate an uninhabited planet and create the basic conditions for human living. Here is where the conflict of the film arises - one of the cryo pods malfunctions thus waking up one of the passengers while there is almost a century left until the spaceship reaches its destination. The man, played by Chris Pratt, spends a whole year without human contact, on a ship with only the company of a robot bartender and his turmoiling thoughts and sense of dread. In his desperation, the man opens another cryo pod and wakes up Aurora - a journalist with the firm decision to go to the new planet and gather enough data and life experience to write a book.  
  
The conflict about dooming another person to the same tragic fate, the short life of lies and the fight against leftover time, all in the package with likeable cast, breathtaking CGI and philosophical undertone, make 'Passengers' one of the best films of the decade.  
  
It would appeal to all space geeks out there, fans of the 'Star Wars' franchise or just people who want to immerese themselves in the vastness of the universe. So strap in for the journey of your lives!  
  
Hello! I am trying to prepare for my matruculation exam at the end of May. My grade will be crucial for my university application. I am very inexperienced with essay writing in English and I would appreciate all and any advice. My main problem is that one of the requirements is that the text produced must be between 140 to 170 words and I very often exceed this wordcount with unnecessary and rhetoric phrases. Any tips on how to get over this and produce a meaningful and high graded text that gets my point across?
The problem is your lack of familiarity with the English language. Specifically, how to write a movie review. You should try to read some of the professional reviews online to get a better idea of how such essays are written. Everything is summarized and focused on only certain aspects of the film. If you can avoid trying to exaggerate your comments, you will be able to avoid repeated statements such as:  
  
I've recently sat through and watched from the beginning to the very end without averting my gaze from the screen  
Being over descriptive in this section is what hurt the presentation. It is enough to simply say "I sat through from beginning to end."I know you are trying to involve the reader in your experience, but that is not required when writing a basic movie review.  
  
When reviewing the character development, you must refer to the character by name, then the actor's name. You only mentioned one of the 2 actor's names in this presentation, Jennifer Lawrence being the other cast member in the film, and did not mention their characters names at all. There is a lack of proper acting analysis in the presentation that would have helped you review the actors approach to the role. The camera man, director, and scriptwriter's work all lack highlight moments that should have been the focal point of your review for each of these people's participation in the movie. The plot summary could have been better presented within the 170 word count as well.  
  
You may contact me privately if you wish to receive an example of how to write this essay perfectly within 170 words.
***International travel is becoming cheaper and cheaper, and more countries are now opening their doors to foreign visitors.***  
## Do you think that the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

  
  
It is generally believed that travelling to foreign countries is becoming gradually cheaper, and there is an increasing number of countries welcoming visitors from other nations. While there are some drawbacks that this phenomenon offers, I believe that these are outweighed by the merits.  
  
On the one hand, there are two major disadvantages of this trend. Firstly, immigrating to different countries contributes to air pollution due to the large amount of carbon emissions produced by transportations. This would worsen the air quality and pose a grave threat to people's health, leading to many illnesses such as respiratory diseases and lung cancer. Secondly, if the number of people who can afford to travel is rising, the international travel destinations will be increasingly crowded. Therefore more and more airports and tourist facilities including hotels and roads will be built, which might result in habitat destructions. Vietnam, for example, has deforested a part of their southern areas to build a new airport to meet the traveling demands of the local as well as the international tourists.  
  
On the other hand, I am convinced that the benefits of this view are more significant than any disadvantages. Reducing the price of traveling cross-country and increasing the number of nations that are available for international tourism help boost cultural exchange and broaden people's knowledge. The locals there could understand more about cultural diversity and learn foreign languages. Furthermore, this trend also boosts countries' economy since it creates more jobs in services such as accommodation and transportation. Eventually, these new jobs would lead to the amount of income tax rises, contributing to the state's budget.  
  
In conclusion, despite concerns regarding air quality and habitat, these trends does more good than harm by enlarging people's understanding and improving countries' economy.  
  
please help me evaluate my essay, thank you!
there are two major disadvantages of this trend.  
- This is your thesis statement. The discussion topics should have followed as 2 topic sentences, all as a part of the prompt restatement. That discussion outline will help your TA score as it shows the clarity of your opinion in a summarized manner.  
  
The more appropriate format for this essay would have been:  
Sentence 1: Perceived advantage  
Sentence 2: Why it is an advantage  
Sentence 3: Your disadvantage opinion  
Sentence 4: Supporting example  
Sentence 5: Additional disadvantage explanation based on the example  
  
The outline above would have helped you better and more clearly represent the required discussion points. Only 2 discussion points would have sufficed for this presentation, if properly discussed in the reasoning paragraphs. The way that you did it, the presentation became over discussed but with less clarity in the presentation. Your second paragraph had the more appropriate discussion topics, had you only properly separated these into 2 paragraphs so that you could have had a better chance at clearly and properly explaining your subjects / opinions. Your third paragraph is totally under developed as you decided to just keep presenting reasons, but not explanations to help support these reasons. It doesn't manner how many reasons you have or know. What matters in the scoring is the clarity of your explanation based on well selected reasons.
***The tendency of news media to focus on problems and emergencies rather than good news has a negative effect on individuals and society.***  
## To what extend do you agree or disagree?

  
  
Media is playing a very important role in our lives. However, news media across the world tends to give more importance to negative news rather than good. This has a bad effect on the lives of individuals and society. I completely agree with the statement and explain the effect negative reporting has on individuals and society.  
  
Fear can easily buildup when someone listens to negative news. Most of the reports are presented in such a way to grab maximum user attention. Because of the complete attention given to it, those visuals will be a part of the viewer's mind. For example, during the times of the coronavirus, a lot of news reporting is done based on the number of deaths. In such cases, people will be afraid of dying. There are instances where people consumed sanitiser because of such news, resulting in death. In effect, negative reporting has a huge toll on everyone's lives.  
  
There are several effects on society due to this type of reporting. One among them is panic buying. News channels covering news may not intentionally do this, but this can create fear among individuals which slowly leads to panic buying. Because of this a lot of products will go out of stock in the supermarkets. Another reason is the lack of cash in ATM. People withdraw huge amounts of cash fearing there will be a shortage. In such a scenario, a lot of people find it difficult to pull cash from ATM, leading to a cash crunch in society. In effect, negative reporting has a very bad effect on society.  
  
In conclusion, negative reporting has a huge effect on individuals and society. I completely agree with this and news media should play a proactive role and reduce the effect of negative reporting.
The thesis statement is just missing the topic outline for the discussion to be considered a completely informative summary of the upcoming discussion. That is a small oversight on your part that, although it does have an effect on the clarity of your opinion, will not result in a marked scoring down for yourself. You were able to explain your point of view clearly in both reasoning paragraphs. However, a more effective presentation for paragraph 2 would have been to discuss what the effects of the negative news in the previous paragraph was. If you had stuck to the Coronavirus discussion in the next paragraph, you would have created a highly cohesive and coherent series of reasoning paragraphs. Clearly showing that you have the ability to extensively discuss the same topic, based on different topic considerations. The result would have been a higher TA and C&C score individually, and a higher overall score at the end.  
  
The concluding paragraph contains additional new information about how you believe the media should play a proactive role. Since this is not included as a discussion point in the original prompt, this additional opinion should not have been presented as it created 2 errors in your concluding presentation:  
  
- An unrequired opinion that was not properly explained and developed  
- An open ended essay that does not properly summarize the previous paragraph presentations.  
  
Therefore, the concluding paragraph has a tendency to pull down your final score.