dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
**Restricting air travel is the only way to prevent the air pollution. Do you agree or disagree?**  
  
The air pollution, nowadays, become the predominant problem faced by the world. Some people thinking that the only way to prevent air pollution is limiting the use of the air travel. Personally, I believe that restricting the air travel is not the only approach to reduce the air pollution.  
  
The air travel, recently becomes a popular transportation people had chosen regarding to the easiness and the cost of the air travel. The increment of using air plane will increase the air pollution. The plane contributes to pollute the atmosphere because it uses the fossil fuel. Reducing the use of air travel can be the way to prevent the increment of the air pollution.  
  
However, restricting the air travel is not the only way to prevent the air pollution. There are abundant factors causing the pollution to the atmosphere such as vehicles and industries. Vehicles and industries are the common factors which has a big contribution in polluting the air. The emission from vehicles using fossil fuel give massive pollutant to the air, they consist of CO2 and CO, causing global warming. The government needs to reduce the use of the vehicles by designing a firm policy in order to preclude the air pollution worsen. Cycling to work once a week, for an example, can reduce the air pollution. The industries also become a big contributors in polluting the air. Nearly all industries are throwing their waste to the atmosphere. It increases the air pollution time-to-time. Taking tire industry for an example, they use coal as their fuel, while some industries use fossil fuel, the burnt coal produce CO2 and CO which can damage the air pollution. Planting some trees can also enrich the oxygen level at the atmosphere reducing the air pollution.  
  
All in all, precluding the air pollution can be done not only by limiting the air travel. Government take a big role to designing the policy that can reduce the use of vehicles and a stringent rule for industries to reducing their waste. Individuals can also keep the air from pollution by not burning their rubbish. There are so many steps we can take to make the air more clear.
The air pollution, nowadays, ~~become~~becomes the predominant problem ...  
  
... the common factors which ~~has~~have a big contribution in polluting the air.  
The industries also become ~~a~~ big contributors ...  
... are throwing their waste ~~to~~into (more make sense) the atmosphere.  
  
Government ~~take~~ takes a big role ~~to~~in designing the policy ...  
  
my suggestions, you have to pay attention to your subjects and verb agreement. keep writing.
Hi nda18. Here are my suggestions for your essay.  
  
Some people think that the only way to prevent air pollution is...  
  
... pollute the atmosphere because it uses **the combustion process of fossil fuel.**  
  
atmosphere such as vehicle and industries **which** are the common factors **having** a big contribution in polluting the air.  
  
The emission from vehicles using fossil fuel **gives** massive pollutant **emissio**n to the air, ~~they~~**consisting** of CO2 and CO, causing global warming.  
  
Taking tire industry for an example, (...) produce CO2 and CO which can damage the air pollution  
==>you need one additional conjunction here.  
  
Suggestion:  
use a word phrase in order to introduce the new idea smoothly  
  
I hope it can be useful for you.  
Goodluck!
***Nowadays, social media develops rapidly and it make people's way to communicate within others has been change. As a result of that, it makes some arguments that social application will create worst relationship between people. In my view, I tend to be disagree, because it still has many advantages.***  
  
Actually, we cannot lie that the messaging tools bring some drawbacks. One of them is people will be lazy to meet up with their friends, even with family, because they think it is already enough to send the latest update via mobile. For example, a father in the past time usually like spent their weekend with his adolescence, but now, they just send the pictures or videos that illustrates their activity. Worstly, it will bring negative effects for children psychology feel father-less caused by only few times he plays with his dad.  
  
However, there are some positive aspect that will defeat the disadvantages. First, chatting application has a tremendous flexibility. Taken example of that, today people can send their recent activity just in seconds although they separate in thousand kilometers. This is one of the evidences that electronic media bring the most efficient way compared with the past centuries when people used a letter that sent manually through post office and it took a long time for received. Second, some of the media contain many features like send documents, voices, images, videos, and also emoticons. This can be used to increase the personal relationship quality. For instance, when our wife sad, we can send funny images or video that make them smile even happier than before. Also, we can make a video call with our pupils every time and everywhere especially when we doing business to other cities even abroad, they can still see us lively just like without any distances.  
  
All in all, although social networking has some bad sides, there are still a lot of advantages that can really make closest relationship, if we can use it in appropriate way. (331 words)
Aloha Faiz, let me share my thoughts with you;  
  
(1) ~~Actually, we cannot lie that the messaging tools bring some drawbacks.~~(you can change your sentence more educated. Here is my sample;**Admittedly/broadly speaking/in general,**electronic messaging tools bring some demerits )  
  
(2) ~~One of them is~~in fact, people will be lazy to meet up with their friends, even ... (I think your flow is hard to understand. I suggest you to make it clear by using pattern you like)  
  
(3) ~~For example, a father in the past time usually like spent their ...~~(make your example stronger than this because this example is too general. You can take an example about your experience or result of latest research)  
  
(4) ~~Worstly,~~(adverb = adjective ==> **worst** NOT worstly )
**WRITING TASK II (Unit 8 Page 84)**  
  
***Some organizations, believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance.  
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.***  
  
Nowadays, there are many industries which have popular name in the public. Not only because those industries has been famous or successful, but also because their employee which have good performance or has given excellent service to the public. Thus, not seldom a workplace give some rules to their employees to pay attention with their first impressions in dress style and work attitude. In here, I want to give my opinion about the role of employee dress code and it is related towards employee working task.  
  
I think, the rule of dress code style in office is linked to several factors of the workplace itself. Occasionally, smart casual dress is interpreted differently in many workplaces. Some important factors that affects the rule of workforces dress usually depends on industrial type, size of company, number of employee and sometimes based on amount of interaction between employees and customers. In workplace which the main working task mostly operated in office, a 'smart casual dress' or 'dress office looks' certainly become the work style of employees. For example, in bank, hospital, airport or other industries with main job in office usually have some rules where the employee must wear outfit that looks officially includes vests, dress pants, ties and leather shoes for man whereas dress shirts, skirts, outfit enhancing jewelry and boots or high heels for woman. Overall, their appearance often more good looking and eye-catching in order that giving the best service to customers. Hence, the work quality entirely more looks from their performance in work and by their outward styles.  
  
However, for other industries which have core business in factories are not need imposes the workforces to wear formal outfit when working in field or outside of office. As long as they are can work productively and do the best for their work, the dress smartly is not urgent problem. The employer in field industrial also usually more freely about outfit in the workplace, and mostly tend to consider the quality of work.  
  
Eventually, I argue that the rule of smart casual dress in workplace must suitable based on tasks job of employee in office or follow the entirely rules from the employer.  
  
(344 words)
Hi @SarlindaDS\_27,  
  
Here some corrections on your essay:  
  
~~In here~~Here , I want to give my opinion ...  
  
... factors that affects ~~the rule of workforces~~the rules of workforce dress usually depends on ...  
~~In workplace which~~ the main working task mostly is operated in office, (...) certainly ~~become~~becomes the work style ...  
Overall, their ~~appearance~~appearances are often more good (...) in order ~~that giving~~to give the best service to customers.  
  
However, ~~for~~the other industries which ...  
As long as they ~~are~~ can work productively and do their best~~the best for their work~~ , the dress smartly ...  
Also, the ~~The~~ employer in field industrial ~~also~~is usually more freely ...  
  
~~Eventually~~In conclusion , I argue that the rule (...) in workplace must be suitable based on ~~tasks job of employee~~the tasks-job of employees in office or follow ...
Hai inda, here are my thoughts for your essay  
  
... industries which have **a** popular name ~~in~~**at** the public.  
  
... those industries ~~has~~**have** been famous or successful~~,~~ but also **because** their ~~employee~~**employees**~~which~~ have good performance ...  
  
... my opinion about the role of ~~employee~~**employees'** dress code and it is related towards ~~employee~~**employees** working task.  
  
Some important factors that ~~affects~~**affect** the rule of workforces (...) and sometimes based on **the** amount of interaction ...  
  
... skirts, outfit enhancing ~~jewelry~~**jewellery** and boots or high heels for ~~woman~~**women**.  
  
... often more good**-**looking and eye-catching in order ~~that~~**to** giving the best ...  
  
*you can put your some suggestions between those thoughts*
Writing Task 1 - Communication Skills Are Essential in your job? (Survey 1997 &2006)  
  
**The table below gives the results of two surveys, in 1997 and 2006, in which people were asked which communication skills were essential in their jobs.**  
  
The table provides information about the percentage of people's answer that were asked about communication ability which they were needed in their job in 1997 and 2006. Overall, it can be seen that all of the percentage were rising while only selling a product or service was falling between 1997 and 2006. And the percentage of all correspondences was under seventy five percent.  
  
In external communication, selling a product or service fell by 3 percent from 1997 to 2006 while the others went up. There was the highest increase in knowledge of particular products or services by 6 percent. The highest percentage was 65 percent in dealing with people aspects in 1997 where the lowest percentage was selling a product service at 21 percent in 2006.  
  
In internal communication, all of the percentage were rising over 9-years period. The highest percentage was listening carefully to colleagues at 47 percent in 2006 and the lowest percentage was making speeches or presentations at 7 percent in 1997. There was the smallest changed between 1997 and 2006 by 1 percent in planning the activities of others.  
  
*   
*Question*
**Hi Mr. Mardian.  
These are my thoughts for your writing. Please, review my notes.**  
  
... percentage of people's answer ~~that were~~*(You should omit this conjunction so that here seems a large number of the conjunctions)*asked about communication ~~ability~~ ABILITIES ~~which they were~~ needed in ~~their~~ A job in ...  
  
...all of the percentageS were rising while (...) was falling ~~between 1997 and 2006~~ IN THAT PERIOD. ~~And~~ MOREOVER, *("and" is the conjunction. You needed a linking word)* the percentage of all correspondences was**under seventy five percent.***(I have told you previously that you should not mention the number detailed in the overview)*  
  
... selling a product or service ~~fell~~ HAD FELL by 3 percent from ...  
... with people aspects in 1997 ~~where~~ WHILE the lowest percentage ...  
  
~~In internal communication~~ TURNING TO FACTORS OF THE INTERNAL COMMUNICATION, all of the percentageS *(pay attention to plural and singular)* were rising over ...  
... carefully to colleagues, REGARDING at 47 percent in (...) or presentations, REPRESENTING at 7 percent in 1997. There was the smallest change~~d~~ between 1997 ...
The diagram gives the information about the silkworm life cycle and also illustrates the process of silk cloth production. Overall, there are four stages of silkworm lives, it begins with eggs being laid by the mother worm until the eggs are becoming the moth and produces eggs again during 16 days. While the process of silk cloth production has five linear steps from selecting cocoon to in the dye process.  
  
The life cycle of silkworm starts with the eggs transform into silkworm larva in ten days and it eats leaves such a mulberry leaves to grow up, after four to six weeks to changes to silk thread and produce larva. During three to eight days it turns again into a cocoon. Eventually, the cocoon transform into moth around 16 days, it grows up to produce eggs and recycle again.  
  
Turning to the process production of silk cloth, initially silk thread shells are selected and boiled into the water with hot temperature. After that, the shells goes to unwind process so that produce 300-900 thread. Finally, it puts into twist and weave process. Then, all of it is ready for dye process in any color to being attractive.  
  
*
... eggs again during 16 days. **MEAN**While the process of silk cloth production ...pay attention about the difference between conjunction and adverb which connect the sentence with previous sentence. conjunction ==> conj+sentence, sentence/ sentence+conj+sentence  
  
... larva in ten days**,**[conjunction"and, but, or, so, yet need "," before second sentence and it eats leaves ...  
~~During~~FROM three to eight days ...  
... around 16 days, AND it grows up to ...
The bar chart shows about the grade of education of Bulgarian inhabitant wanted to stay abroad in 2002, 2006, and 2008. Overall, it can be seen that secondary education is the most level of the education of Bulgarians while the other levels are below a half.  
  
Started in 2002, the percentage of higher education level stall at 17 percent and there was a slight increase by 2 percent in 2006. Unfortunately, the percentage dropped significantly to 9 percent in the next couple of years. For primary and lower education, the percentage of educational level started at 18 percent in the beginning of the period. There was a slight increase by 1 percent in the next 4-year. Fortunately, the level increased significantly to 32 percent. However, the percentage of secondary educational level remained the same at approximately 62 percent as the median. From the figures, we can see that for higher, and primary and lower education, there is no group that reached a half.  
  
(163 Words)  
  
*
Hi Ivan,  
Here's my analysis towards your report summary of IELTS task 1. I hope you can follow through.  
  
1st paragraph:  
- The bar chart shows the information about the grade of education of Bulgarian ~~inhabitant~~who wanted...  
- ... secondary education ~~is~~had the highest percentage of people who planned to leave Bulgaria~~most level of the education of Bulgarians~~ while the other levels of education~~are~~were below a half.  
  
- *Where's the third sentence? Can you even call it an acceptable paragraph if it is below 3 sentences? Even in your own native language (Indonesian Language), a paragraph should consist of at least 4-5 sentences.*  
  
2nd paragraph:  
- ... of higher education level stalled at 17 percent and there was...  
- For primary and lower education, ~~the percentage of educational level~~they(you have stated "primary and lower". I am sure that "they" would be adequate) started at 18 percent **in the beginning of the period.**(I am not sure that this one is appropriate phrase for body paragraph. I think that this kind of phrase should be used in introductory paragraph.)  
  
As you can see Ivan, several remarks and inputs have been given. I hope you can gain some improvements in the next practice. Good luck :)
Hello ivan! I will give you some opinions about your essay.  
  
(1) ... grade of education of Bulgarian ~~inhabitant~~**citizens who** wanted to stay abroad  
(2) Overall, it can be seen that **the percentage of** secondary education is the ~~most level~~**highest ratio** of the education of Bulgarian~~s~~ while ...  
(3) ... of higher education level ~~stall~~**stood** at 17 percent  
(4) ... of secondary educational level ~~remained the same~~**decreased slightly** at approximately ...  
(5) From the figures, we can see that for higher, and primary and lower education, there is no group that reached a half.  
*You have mentioned it in your 'overview'*
***Some people say that in the modern world it is very difficult for people to have a healthy lifestyle. Others, however, say that it is easy for people to be healthy and fit if they want to be. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.***  
  
Certain people say, if humans have willing to be healthy, they will not hard to do in this latter-day era. In contrast, another believes that it is not easy work to people practice healthy way of life. While people able to maintain their health if they want, I believe in nowadays, many things that attract people to ignore with a healthy lifestyle.  
  
In this present time, many methods people can use to keep healthy. Support centres which provide one-package facility to become healthy are easy to find and it makes people who want maintain their health able to come there. Besides, people also can do self exercise at home and consume home-made health food and vitamins. My mother for instance. She always keep her health with consume vitamin, goes jogging every morning and eat healthy food everyday. If she has spare time, sometimes she goes to the sport centre for aerobic and diet program. Although, in reality, there are some people who able to maintain their health, but it feels difficult for the others.  
  
Another people have mindset that it is hard to have healthy lifestyle in modern era. They think too complicated to become health. Furthermore, if they are busy with their activities, they do not want to start a healthy life. For example, my brother. He quite busy with his job and often consumes unhygienic food. He does not have long spare time to do sport. As a result of his compact activities, he has unhealthy lifestyle and fat body.  
  
To sum up, I believe it will be hard for people who ignore about health to have a healthy lifestyle. People who realize about what the essential to be health will feel easy to implement healthy way of life. It is recommended for people to maintain their health for better life.
hello,  
hope you doing well, lemme give some suggestion  
  
... have willing to be healthy, ~~they~~(it) will not hard to ...  
... that it is not (an) easy work to ~~people~~ practice (a) healthy ~~way of life~~(lifestyle) .  
..., many things ~~that~~ attract people to ignore ~~with~~ a healthy lifestyle.  
  
In this present time, many methods people can use to keep healthy(many methods can be used to keep our body health) .  
... and consume home-made health(ty) food and vitamins.  
She always keep(s) her health with consum~~e~~(ing) vitamin, goes jogging (...) food every day (you already mention it before (about healthy foods, vitamins etc) I think you have to devote another specific example and improve it with 5W1H)  
  
... she goes to the sport(s) centre for ...  
...but it feels difficult for the others (I think this sentence already mentioned it the former, you can cut this one) . (In my opinion, you need to give a result from the example, (consequently, my mom rarely getting sick..........)  
  
~~Another~~(Other) people have (a) mindset that it is hard to have (the) healthy lifestyle in (the) modern era. They think too complicated to become health(they have a complex thought about this issue) . Furthermore, if they are busy with their activities, they do not want to start a healthy life. (you have to expand your explanation, sharpen your view and make it clear so a reader will catch your point properly)  
  
... he has (the) unhealthy lifestyle ...  
  
... the essential to be health(ty) will feel easy to implement (the) healthy way of life.  
(In my viewpoint, you need to give your own view)  
\*you have to organise your sentence, some of it tend to make reader confuse  
  
Good luck and keep writing :)
Hai beauty :) here are my thoughts  
  
In this present time, *many methods people can use to keep healthy.*  
i have two suggestions for you  
if you want to make it as an active sentence: **people can use many methods to keep them healthy**  
if you want to make it as a passive sentence: **many methods can be used to keep their body health**  
  
My mother for instance. She always ~~keep~~**keeps** her health with ~~consume~~**consuming** vitamin,  
*consuming vitamin as an object so, you should put gerund there*  
  
~~Another~~ people have mindset that ...  
do not forget beauty  
another + noun singular --> another person  
other + noun plural --> other people  
  
People who ~~realize~~**realise**~~about~~ what the essential to be ~~health~~**healthy** will feel easy ...  
  
goodluck beauty
The bar chart illustrates information about the percentage of Bulgarian who prefer migrating to another country in the three selected periods (2002, 2006, and 2008) according to their education level. Overall, it can be seen that, the majority of people going to another country are from secondary school while higher education and primary and lower education are below 50 percent.  
  
In 2002, Bulgarian people with secondary education level are the highest percentage in all levels, at 65 percent. However, in 2006 and 2008, there was a slow decrease of percentage of Bulgarian in secondary education level to 61 and 59 percent respectively.  
  
On the other hand, Bulgarian with higher education and primary and lower education experienced a slight difference in the first two-year given, just one percent in difference each year, 17 and 18 percent in 2002 and 20 and 21 percent in 2006 respectively. Interestingly, in 2008, there was a significant difference between higher education and lower education in which higher education was in 9 percent and lower education was higher than percentage of people in higher level of education, at 32 percent.  
  
**(184 words)**  
  
*   
*bulgarian*
... while higher education and primary and lower education ...  
  
1) The repetition make it not look effective. You'd better if you change it to another words:  
  
... while higher education also primary and lower ...  
  
On the other hand, Bulgarian ...  
  
2) You still mention all details of the charts. Remember, task 1 aim is to look our ability to summarize and make comparison of that. So, you don't need to mention all of the data in your explanation