dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
The restated opinions must be presented as 2 stand-alone sentences. These separate sentences will allow the reader to better understand the individual nature of each pov. The witter must never fully depend on the use of commas in a paragraph for sentence formation. The over and incorrect use of the comma will result in GRA deductions. The comma use alone will not be useful in creating simple and complex sentences. However, it does always create a score lowering run-on presentation.  
  
The writer neglected to present his personal openon in the first paragraph where it is used to score the comprehension skills of the writer. Repeating writing instructions are not a task 2 requirement. Directly indicating the writer opinion as the basis of the discussion or point of new is partof the scoring process.The examiner already knows what the discussion instructions are, there is no need to repeat it for his benefit. It will not help your score.  
  
The word "because" is to be used as a conjunction or preposition. Due to the nature of the word usage, it cannot be used at the start of a sentence where no noun, adjective, verb, or interjection exists. This error is word usage will further lower the C + C and GRA scores of the examinee.  
  
The writer has neglected to highlight the public and personal discussion points in his presentation. The reader and examiner cannot differentiate between the 2 in this writing, even as it was called for and specified in the writing instructions. The reader will be confused by this presentation format as it does not use the correct paragraph structure and pronoun representations in its writing.  
  
\* Contact me privately for scoring needs.
***Some university students move away and live on their own while they are attending school, but others live at home with their family while they are students.***  
  
## Discuss both views and give your opinion.

  
  
Some people advocate for the viewpoint that university students should move out of their houses and live independently whilst others argue that living with their family will be a better choice during school days. Although both schools of thought have their reasonability, I believe that living with family members is likely to be a better selection.  
  
On the one hand, there are various reasons living on their own is a good decision. First, it is no doubt that living alone encourages students to be more independent and self-reliant. To be more specific, instead of being served meals by parents every single day, now they have to prepare food for themselves. Furthermore, they have more freedom in making decisions on their own. For example, even if they hang out until midnight or stay with their friends, there is no need to get permission from their parents.  
  
Despite these arguments, I still believe living with family is much better for several reasons. Self-caring is too demanding for those who got used to living with their parents. For instance, when they live at home they do not have to try out any recipes or do household chores because they have their parents to assist them. Another point is that living far away from family leads to some problems related to their mental health as there is no direct support from their family when they are misled or overburdened.  
  
All in all, living alone sounds like a perfect choice for some students; however, in my opinion, family is always the best place to stay while attending university.
Good work on the prompt restatement. It is a well integrated sentence presentation that shows control over sentence structuring. The writer's opinion sentence is also well represented but would have been stronger with the inclusion of a supporting reason sentence.  
  
The problem comes in the development of the reasoning paragraphs. Rather than providing a properly referenced 3rd person group pronoun explanation of each side, the writer uses a general personal point of view instead. The correct format would have been to first depict a reason and explanation for a public opinion, using the correct pronouns as previously mentioned, then having the writer agree or disagree, with a valid personal insight, within the last few sentences of the same paragraph. This is a comparative essay /written debate after all.  
  
Aside from the response format error, it is pleasing to see that the writer understood the topic and presented valid discussion points. This would have been a passing response had the correct format been used.
**IELTS WRITING Task 1**  
  
***The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time doing housework and households in one country between 1920 and 2019.***  
  
## Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

  
  
The charts illustrated the differences in ownership of technology devices and the number of hours spent doing households in one country from 1920 to 2019.  
  
Overall, it can be seen from the charts that the usage of refrigerators for housework was not popular in 1920 while the proportion of these appliances occupied the first rank in 2019. Besides, the amount of time of weekly households reduced dramatically in the period of 100 years.  
  
In 1920, there was only about 3% of households used refrigerators while the percentage using a vacuum was 10 times it. The figure for the usage of washing machines was 40% and increased for a 40-year period. In 1960, this static declined from 70% to 65%, prior to a continuous rise for the rest of this period and reaching 75% in 2019. Meanwhile, the percentage of the usage of households with vacuum cleaners and refrigerators grew generally and in 2019, every family in this country was using those kinds of electrical appliances.  
  
People were likely to spend less time doing their housework. In 1920, the citizen spent 50 hours per week and this figure decreased dramatically to 20 hours in 1960. The time kept declining until it was only 11 hours in 2019.  
  
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The writer should be able to create a shorter report for these 2 images. Due to the 20 minute writing allowance, the presentation should be less than 200 words, but more than 150 words. Information presented in the essay should also be done within a uniform 3-5 sentence paragraph. No presentation should be comprised of only 2 sentences. These long sentences will affect the GRA score due to the confusing sentence content. Information must be clearly segregated within the paragraph to avoid cohesiveness and coherence errors. These are some of the reasons why the writer should focus on the proper sentence structure presentation comprising simple and complex sentences in the paragraphs.  
  
The summary overview needs to clearly identify the number of images and what sort of graph is involved in the report. This to help the reader create a an imagined but visual representation of the report. An effective report will be represented by an easily visualized data explanation. The result will be a better C+C score.  
  
The writer has used the word "static" incorrectly in this presentation. It does not have the same meaning as the term "statistical". The error in word usage will negatively affect both the LR and GRA scores.
***TOPIC:  
## Each year, the crime rate increases.

  
What are the causes of crime and what could be done to prevent this rise in criminal activity? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.***  
  
In the 20th century, with the development of industrialization and modernization, it is widely believed that crime statistics in almost all nations acknowledged growth each year. The following essay takes a look at sources of crime and activities to keep this rate intact, action of crime prevention in the future.  
  
To begin with, human beings need to broaden their knowledge of the cause of criminal activities. Personally speaking, the first and foremost reason is lack of opportunities for career to the people in the market. When the person is unable to fulfill the financial requirements of his family and meet basic survival needs, he will commit a crime like robbery to earn more money within less time. Secondly,due to unawareness about what is unlawful acts and ignorance of the repercussions when committing the crime. For instance, on current affairs and social network, in the past few years, the young offender rate increased because they expect that teenagers are not charged with.  
  
As a result, the president and management in school educate children and especially adolescents to study carefully about laws. The government has to take strict actions against criminals whether serious crime or petty crime. For example, capital punishment against serious crimes, particularly rape, murder; is one of the best action to warn others. If other people violate misdemeanors, they will accept a monetary fine or a suspended sentence. Furthermore, in prison terms, the administration should be provided to the prisoner community service which will improve their personality.  
  
Last but not least, from my perspective, crimes are increasing due to unemployment and unawareness, however, the government and the society should join hands against crimes by politeness and severity.
We are in the 21st century, not the 20th century. To avoid such mistakes, do not try to make any time frame references in your presentation. Such errors show a problem with your current events knowledge. You do not even know what century you are currently living in. The prompt clearly asks you provide reasoning topic responses to create your personal opinion statement. The prompt restatement + personal opinion does not meet the discussion requirements. It will receive a failing preliminary score based on the incorrect restatement and lack of writer opinion in relation to the questions being asked.  
  
The reasoning paragraph in relation to the causes comes across as well developed when considering the first reason. However, the second reason does not create a connection with the first reason through a proper transition phrase or sentence. The second reason is grammatically incorrect and not developed enough as an explanation to create a cohesive paragraph presentation. By the way, if you do not say "firstly", you cannot suddenly say "secondly" in the next sentence. When you say "first", the next numerical ordinal is "second".  
  
The solutions paragraph does not develop cohesive and coherent explanations. It lacks a logical explanation and often has unrelated references, creating incoherent and non-cohesive presentations. The lack of proper sentence structure in this paragraph is more evident that in the other, earlier paragraphs as well.  
  
Due to to the lack of a proper concluding summary, the examiner will have no choice but to give this essay a failing score. It cannot get a passing score within any of the individual scoring sections. This is a sad result because you show that you understood the topic and the discussion requirements but your lack of English language thinking and writing skills proved to be the weakest part of this presentation.
## money spent on different indexes in the Usa

  
  
1) IELTS Writing Task 1 ngày 19/03/2022  
The graph shows the value in US dollars (in millions of dollars) of investment in funds of four categories from 1988 to 2014.  
  
Illustrated in the line graph are figures for how many dollars were spent on the four different indexes in the United States within a timespan of 26 years, commencing from 1988.  
  
As can be inferred from the graph, an enormous upward trend was seen in all groups. In addition, there was an adjustment in American investors' policy in the allocation of funds into property and company shares. Another key feature is that gold was purchased in the hope of making a profit the most.  
  
At the outset of the survey, precisely 100 million dollars was allotted to gold, and the highest portfolios that year. Before reaching a peak of 450 million bucks in 2012 and falling back to about 375 million local currencies one year later, investment funds in gold hit a low of nearly 50 million dollars in 1992. Although funds for fine art also recorded a noticeable rise of around 350 million USD, it experienced more fluctuations than gold's figures.  
  
In 1998, the lowest amount of money was expended on company shares, hovering around 50 million dollars. This figure increased continuously to 250 million USD by 2014. In contrast, while put in marginally higher than company shares, 50 million bucks, the property received the least of dollars in 2014 and replaced the least-interested position of company shares even though it also grew constantly to nearly 200 million USD.
The summary overview is best presented over 2 sentences or more. The sentences must separately indicate the following data:  
  
- Image type + topic  
- Measurement method + time period (with beginning and end date)  
- Measurement basis (type of people/items/services )  
  
The sentences must contain separate representations to help meet accuracy, cohesiveness, coherence, and grammar preliminary scoring needs. Run-on sentences such as the one above tend to receive less scores due to the confusing information sharing format. Sentences need one target subject only in the summary aspect.  
  
The writer is mentioning the results of a survey but made no mention of such a basis early on. The writer confused the graph with a survey most likely because a survey measurement is commonly presented in graph mode. However, not all graphs represent surveys. The measurement basis should be clear in the summary.  
  
Avoid inferring anything as there is no assurance that animage is provided to the reader. It is best to never ask the reader, even in implied forum, to consult an image. Creating an imaginative report works best in these essays.  
  
The tone of the report is proper. I can assume that the target audience are economists who will be informed, albeit in a simpler manner than they are used to. It is professional and academic in presentation even as some English grammar exists, these do not pose severe reader understanding problems within the presentation.
***Increasingly large numbers of students are undertaking their higher education in other countries. Despite problems such as the financial cost and the difficulty of studying in a foreign language, the benefits of studying overseas are often thought to be greater than the difficulties.***  
  
## To what extent do you agree?

  
  
In this day and age, the youth are prone to choose to study abroad when graduating high school instead of continuing to learn in the traditional course. Although they are forced to pay high fees and face a variety of challenges in a non-native language, I partly agree that there are more merits than setbacks of this phenomenon.  
  
On the one hand, attending further education in strange nations are a positive development for numerous reasons. To begin with, students have a chance to make friends with partners coming from other nationality, this can help them to expand perspectives about exhilarating cultures.For example, if you have a friend living in Japan , you will be enriched with knowledge about their original clothes such as hanbok .....In addition ,thanks to practicing a new dialect with foreigner on a regular basis, the youth can reinforce significantly their language skill . Furthermore ,they will soar opportunities to apply to any big organization . Because when adolescents complete their curriculum and come back home , they will be equipped with greater education and other necessary skills, namely time management skills ...These are lucrative values aid to win in a competitive job market.  
  
On the other hand , this phenomenon also brings a variety of drawbacks for students . Firstly, their family will pay plenty of fees for conventional courses. This can become a burgen for the number of parents possessing low income because they will have difficulties in paying their children's fees. Specifically, students coming from poor background, they nearly loss chances to learn in developed countries such as Singapore , Canada without gaining scholarships.Secondly , if offsprings are not proficient in forein language , they will lose the ability to understand holistically lessons. For example , when they can not hear the teacher's voice, they will not keep up with curriculum. As a result , they tend to feel discouraged and fed up.  
  
In conclusion , I partly agree that students choose universities in other nations instead of pursuing traditional education . The youth should consider the finance budget and their possibilities.
Do not keep writing just for the sake of writing more words in the essay. Make sure that you can write a grammatically proficient essay, properly written and with fully developed ideas / explanations/ examples, all within 40 minutes. The task 2 essay is not just a vocabulary rest, which you seem to portray it as in this piece. It is a test of how quickly and accurately you can convey your English thoughts. The idea is to present sentences and paragraphs that are short but effective in the manner of presentation. The focus is on grammar perfection rather than just vocabulary and word count.  
  
The essay itself does poorly when considering grammar in relation to sentence structure, thought clarity, and punctuation usage. The writer only uses the period, comma, or ellipses in his writing. This is evidence of limited sentence structure knowledge in relation to punctuation usage. These are the additional areas where the score of the essay can prevent a passing score.
## spoiled youth today

  
  
Youngsters' lack of moral values and self-discipline become one of the most worrying problems nowadays. This essay will show you the reason for this issue as well as propose solutions to it.  
  
Many causes lead to this consequence. Firstly, many parents currently omit the importance of paying attention and giving affection to their children, They are so devoted to their work that they forget to spend time listening and teaching their sons and daughters about the right behavioural values. On this account, teenagers will feel that they are ignored, which contributes to their bad acts to get attention. Secondly, children are easily influenced by others. For example, if they have friends who are impulsive, disorganized, and irresponsible, they will gradually conduct themselves in the same way that seems comparable with their friends.  
  
On the other hand, there are numerous solutions to this problem. Firstly, you can endeavor to persuade them to make a change. By caring for them and conveying such doom and drawbacks that might come if they continue to behave in that way. Gradually, you can reset their attitude towards the world with moral values. Secondly, you can urge them to make new friends with good personalities. This can have a good impact on children, which tends to help them to shape into such good behaviors and develop their self-improvement as well as self-discipline.  
  
In short, there are many complaints about immorality and the lack of self-discipline among teenagers, which clearly show that this issue is very serious. We must make an effort to deal with it for the good future of our society.
The last part of the restatement paragraph is called the opinion statement for a reason. The writer is expected to use 2 sentences to complete either of the following task requirements:  
  
- Express a personal opinion + his personal supporting reason  
  
or  
  
- Clearly respond to the task questions with direct topic statements that will help establish the writer's opinion regarding the given topic.  
  
It is the second option that is required of the task paragraph. A restatement of the questions shall not recieve scores as these do not depict an opinion as required. Only the restatement shall recieve a score. The paragraph will not receive full scoring merits as presented at this time.  
  
The first reasoning paragraph has an under developed 2nd reason that will reduce the C+C score. The more completely developed explanation is the first reason. Had only that reason been used for the paragraph, full scoring points would have been awarded.  
  
Since the 2 paragraphs deal with different topics / discussion subjects, the writer has misused the comparative references " On the one hand" , and " On the other hand". These may only be used in a continuing discussion pattern. The subject of the paragraphs cannot change from causes to solutions. A more appropriate transition or connecting phrase that could have been used would have been:  
  
*Based on this cause, a possible solution that can be considered is ...*  
  
The writer provides good solutions in the related paragraph. However, he has neglected to indicate who he expects to implement the solutions described. This has created confusion for the reader and will lower his GRA score.  
  
The writer understood the discussion requirements and tried to provide appropriate discussion points. Although the essay has errors, he shows the potential to pass the test in the future.
## online courses as an alternative to campus classes

  
  
It is true that online courses are predominant in many universities compared to offline classes offered on campus. Although there are some drawbacks to this matter, I would argue that the benefits outshine its drawbacks.  
  
The main disadvantage of the trend towards online learning would be the difficulty of direct interaction with lecturers. Students may not have the opportunities to discuss about the matter which they do not fully understand with their peers as well as their lecturers. Therefore, the quality of teaching and studying will not reach its best and students may fail to attain high scores in their exams. Another reason is not all students come from a wealthy family. They may not have a technological device to attend a corresponding course, therefore, they have to quit their courses and wait for the campus to offer the offline courses.  
  
Despite the negatives mentioned above, I believe the benefits of attend online classes in universities outweigh that of the drawbacks. Firstly, when you study online you can manage your time more easily, as your timetable is flexible and you can arrange your time to study in every possible way. Secondly, online courses can help people from four corners of the world to apply for the courses that they like, despite of their nationality. age, race and ability. For example, during the COVID 19 pandemic many renowned universities in America offer online courses for all students over the world. It is the opportunity for students who is gifted and diligent but can not afford to leap at their dreams. Finally, the cost of some online courses offered by universities are often cheaper than that of the offline courses. That will be a great help to those who are facing some financial issues in their life.  
  
In conclusion, there are certainly some disadvantages of studying online in universities, however, I would argue that it is a positive development overall.  
  
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The writer responded to the discussion question in the concluding paragraph. That was the only part of the essay that adhered to the discussion requirement. His overall restatement, response, and discussion pattern are all incorrect. These presentations in the early part do not meet the task and opinion discussion requirements.  
  
The writer must understand that his failing score comes from the way that he used 3 different o discussion formats, none of which correspond to the original discussion pattern/format. It will be in his best interest to familiarize himself with the various task 2 formats before he continues with his practice essays.  
  
Long explanations and extreme wordcount will be useless when the examiner can clearly see that the exam taker did not understand the discussion requirement.