dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
***In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying.***  
## To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

  
  
Due to free online reading, it is believed that printed newspapers or books will not be purchased in the next few years. In my opinion, I disagree with this statement and will outline some reasons in this essay.  
  
On the one hand, online reading brings a lot of benefits to readers. First, online reading is extremely convenient for people. If the reader only has a smart phone, tablet, or laptop that has the ability to access the Internet by wifi or mobile data, they can read any news, magazines, or books at any time. Second, online reading nowadays is usually free on social websites. Thus, people who read books or newspapers online will save money on their daily expenses by not buying and updating information daily. Finally, using the Internet to read books and newspapers could protect the ecosystem. In particular, a regular TV news program in Vietnam used to mention that the amount of wood that was used to make paper to serve the newspaper industry each week was a ton. Therefore, the increase of online reading newspapers will lead to a decrease in the amount of wood used to create newspapers and save a lot of trees.  
  
Nonetheless, printed newspapers and books have advantages that online reading does not. Firstly, there are several datasets that will not be uploaded on the Internet, such as graduation theses and scientific reports. Thus, to read this data, the reader needs to either buy it or go to the library to borrow it, which means it is not able to be read online. Secondly, taking books or newspapers by hand will create a real emotion and be more interesting than reading them on the screen of a phone or tablet. For example, Pham Nhat Vuong, a top 30 billionaire in the world, shared with a journalist that he could find a lot of information on the Internet, but he still enjoyed reading it in printed books. Finally, books and newspapers are a type of hobby collection that cannot be replaced by online reading.Many people have an interest in collecting famous books or newspapers and exhibiting these things in their houses, something that online reading is unable to do.  
  
In conclusion, although online reading could bring a lot of benefits as mentioned above, purchasing printed books or newspapers will still exist in the future and cannot be replaced for some of the reasons mentioned above. From my perspective, I disagree with this statement.
The question is "to what extent?" Therefore, the writer must provide 2 sets of information for his opinion response.  
  
1. The strength of his emotional support for his opinion  
2. The reason for his heartfelt response.  
  
These 2 sentences are what will recieve a complete score. The current opinion sentence has 2 faults that will result in a partial and non-score respectively.  
  
1. Incomplete opinion statement. The degree of support is missing.  
2. Invalid thesis response. There is no topic reason provided as the opinion basis.  
  
Further deductions will apply based on the improper discussion format. A comparative essay is presented when the task expectation is that of a 2 supporting reason presentation for the writers opinion. The task requirements have not been pproperly met in the reasoning and concluding summary paragraphs. Expect a failing score.
Since the title of this paper focuses on building computers versus buying one, there is no need to confuse the reader by referring to other electronic devices or gadgets. It casts a wide discussion net and contradicts the title of the paper. Keep a narrow topic focus for clear discussion purposes and easily identifiable discussion topics.  
  
It is important not to cite any information in the first paragraph since the topic is merely being established. In fact, the citation is so simple, I cannot understand why the writer thought if necessary to include the statement at that point. It did not add extra ordinary information to the presentation that would have improved the paragraph.  
  
\* Limited review provided due to the length and varying review requirements. Reach out to us privately regarding a thorough review process.
**Prompt:  
*Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time.  
This can benefit teenagers and the community as well.*  
## To what extent do you agree or disagree?**  
  
It appears to some people that it should be made obligatory for adolescents to partake in public-oriented activities, while others declare their disapproval of the idea. From a personal standpoint, I am partly in favour of this.  
  
On the one hand, it is irrefutable that students involved in those voluntary work are capable of deriving some significant benefits at first hand. Firstly, these are occasions that students are destined for experience and knowledge accumulation. Namely, on going to sanatoriums to visit elders, they get a chance to receive some know-how tutorials about diaper renewal or cooking. Moreover, these are also considered to be wholesome recreational activities which both efficaciously help participants to get their second wind after successive stressful schooldays and concurrently equip them with necessary skills that are not included in mainstream education. Culturally viewing, these works are also communally well-intentioned. For example, on commissioning teenagers to clean up their neighbourhood, not only can they learn about trash classification, but also the betterment of environment status is brought about.  
  
Nevertheless, social services can be time-consuming and energy-draining; thus, teenagers might be sidetracked from schoolwork. Additionally, teenagers from impoverished households or disadvantaged communities have bigger priorities such as to support their family income and their living conditions rather than committing to voluntary work. Requesting community services as a must for teenagers is a double-edged sword. When teenagers do community work voluntarily, their actions stem from pure intentions, and the most rewarding thing for them is the pleasure of creating values for others and the pride of displaying their independence and hidden abilities. Whereas when teenagers do community work under compulsion, the simple joy has dissipated, the obligatory so-called "social work" has become less appealing and a burden to some.  
  
The bottom line of the argument is that the benefit of unpaid community work is dependent on the individual. Community work brings precious opportunities for teenagers to work and give back but requires responsibility and effort.
adolescents  
Adolescents are from the age of 10-12. Teenagers cover the ages of 13-19 years. Incorrect word choice and wrong usage in a sentence.  
  
while others declare their disapproval of the idea.  
This is a failing prompt restatement. Even as the personal opinion is correctly stated, the wrong topic interpretation is what will cause substantial deductions in the TA score. The pleased selected to present above improperly represents the original statement as this idea is not a part of that topic presentation.  
  
it is irrefutable  
There are those who will refute this claim. Do not make statements related to unchangeable facts in a comparative discussion. It causes disbelief in the statement on the part of the reader.  
  
The bottom line of the argument  
Nice concluding reference. It offers variety to the memorized conclusion openers. However, the concluding summary is still focused ona new topic presentation. As the proper reverse paraphrase is missing, the essay is open-ended. An essay without a proper conclusion often recieves a failing score due to task format and discussion inaccuracies.
P/s: I'm a newbie here so I hope everyone could help me find out and fix my mistakes in my essay. If you could show me the band of my essay, it would be great. After all, thank you very much for spending time reading my essay <3 \^^/  
  
## the change of a small theater in 2010 and 2012

  
  
MY ESSAY.  
The given picture compares the differences and transformations of a small cinema between 2010 and 2012.  
  
Overall, it is obvious that the theater witnessed remarkable developments with more cutting-edge.  
Looking at the picture in more detail, behind the auditorium, it experienced an expanding space with the relocating of the storage from the left to the right side in 2012. In addition, the media replaced the storage so as to give way for the hall's appearance while the theatre was upgraded with the building of the showers next to the media.  
  
To the South part of the cinema, it was increased in size for the restaurants to emerge on the left-hand side in order to attract more customers. In 2012, the admin office was relocated near the auditorium and the ticket office was opposite the restaurant, where the cafe used to be located.  
  
*
The given picture compares the differences and transformations  
There is a problem with this sentence structure as " picture" is singular, yet the related descriptions for the comparison are in plural form. This indicates that more than one picture will be involved in the review. singular references must be maintained in the presentation, and plural forms should also be maintained. singular and plural references cannot be used as a mix or alternatively in any sentence.  
  
with more cutting-edge.  
More cutting-edge what? Where is the additional description ? The sentence thought presentation is incomplete? Cutting-edge is meant to describe something ultra modern. since this is just a simple descriptive report, do not use exaggerated words in the description.  
  
Expand the descriptive paragraphs to 3-5 single idea sentences to gain a better C+C score.  
  
\* Contact me privately for band scoring.
## CAMBRIDGE 10 WRITING TASK 3

  
  
The bar chart illustrates what students did after finishing their graduate and postgraduate - excluding full-time work- in United Kingdom's college in 2008. The bar chart was measured by the number of graduate and postgraduate students. Overall, from the bar chart, it was clear that the highest destination for students graduates and postgraduates was further study after their graduations. Meanwhile, the lowest destination was voluntary work.  
  
As shown in the bar chart, the study further was chosen by 29,665 graduates student and 2,735 postgraduates students and become the highest chosen destination after they are graduated. The part-time job came next chosen by 17,735 graduates. The number of postgraduates students who chose part-time jobs was almost similar to the number of postgraduates students who chose to study further with 2,535.  
  
Meanwhile, the number of students being unemployed after graduation was 16,235 and 1,625 for graduates and postgraduates students respectively. Meanwhile, students showed less interest in voluntary work after they were graduated with only 3,500 and 345 graduates and postgraduates students respectively joining the voluntary work.  
  
*
The bar chart illustrates  
The writer must reference that there are 2 images provided for the comparison. That is because the information for the graduate and post graduate students are presented in seperated Columnar (rather than bar) charts, or columnar bar charts (for clarity) if you will. Otherwise, the comparison will not make sense as the image in question is not presented as comparative line charts.  
  
the bar chart  
Again, differentiate to create clear explanations. Separate the chart information in the discussion based on the image presentation. These information cannot be made to sound as if they came from one image alone because there are 2 images provided. The grammar score and word usage score for this test will definitely be in the failing range due to the writer's inability to properly word and form his explanatory sentences.
## SCIENCE AND TECHNOLOGY - IELTS Writing task 2

  
  
**In today's world, private companies rather than the government pay for and conduct most scientific research. Do you think the advantages outweigh disadvantages?**  
  
Compared to the authorities, private entities nowadays seem to play a more prominent role in financially supporting and carrying out scientific activities. Although some might argue that this sort of studies should be conducted by the government, I would contend that the involvement of private corporations in the scientific field brings more benefits rather than drawbacks.  
  
On the one hand, it is true that privately funded scientific investigations could exert several adverse impacts on society. While the rationale for the government's part in undertaking research is finding solutions to societal issues and improving the welfare of all citizens, private enterprises are more predisposed to profit motive. Therefore, results produced by these companies may be deliberately manipulated in order to maximise revenue. In fact, there have been numerous notorious cases regarding new products which are launched incautiously after inadequate trials. Furthermore, without governmental supervision, the excessive participation of big businesses in sensitive areas such as genetic engineering or nuclear military power would pose serious threats to the community.  
  
However, since the scope of scientific activities is extremely diverse, I do believe that private companies can obviously do research which is not carried out by governments. It is undeniable that countless scientific breakthroughs have been represented by independent institutions and conglomerates. To cite an example, by developing new COVID-19 vaccines, Drugmaker Pfizer Incorporated has undoubtedly contributed remarkably to the global recovery from devastating impacts of the unprecedented coronavirus pandemic. Besides, encouraging individuals and the private sector to conduct scientific experiments would promote healthy competition and stimulate innovation in the marketplace. The public therefore can enjoy greater benefits from the latest inventions and better products.  
  
In conclusion, despite entailing some risks, privately sponsored scientific research offers people enormous advantages. Of course, it is also important to explore strategies for designing multi-sector research collaborations that can generate reliable, high-quality results. For that reason, I suppose that this would be a positive movement provided that the government can scrutinise these private experiments in a thorough and efficient way.  
  
PS Hi there, thank you so much for reading my essay and leaving comments so that I can improve it. I hope you guys can give me an estimated score because I'm gonna sit an IELTS exam this March. Have a good day!
Compared to the authorities,  
The writer has included a private observation as a part of his topic restatement. This is unacceptable and shall lower the TA score. Considered a topic deviation since this claim is unsupported in the original claim, the writer cannot recieve scoring consideration for this sentence. Only the 2 original claims should be clearly and seperately restated in the first half of the paragraph.  
  
Although some might argue  
I would contend  
The restatement paragraph required only these 2 thoughts. Each thought should have been represented in 2 thoroughly developed sentence idea presentations. Missing from the paragraph are the 2 related topic thesis sentences to complete the paragraph requirement.  
  
On the one hand  
However  
Incorrect discussion format. The question to be responded to is :  
  
Do you think the advantages outweigh disadvantages?  
The response to which should have been presented in the following formation over 2 paragraphs:  
  
Sentence 1 : Disadvantage introduction  
Sentence 2: Explain the disdvantage  
Sentence 3: Reason it is actually an advantage  
Sentence 4: Explanation of the advantage  
Sentence 5: Example that disproves the disadvantage  
  
This is an opinion paper, the writer must defend his stance without indicating both sides are correct, or that both sides have acceptable reasons for being. Since he is asked only for a single response to the question, that is what he must convince the reader of. He must never contradict his first opinion as he risks confusing the readers regarding his true opinion. The result of which is a failed TA and GRA score due to lack of opinion clarity and statement confusion.  
  
\* Email me privately regarding comprehensive scoring services.
## **Advertisements are becoming more and more common in everyday life. Is it a positive or negative development?**

  
  
These days, people are surrounded by marketing and commercial activities. Views differ on the implications of advertising, but I would argue that there are both positives and negatives in equal measure.  
  
On the one hand, one of the negative points of advertising sector is the widely population of false and misleading advertisements in some forms of media. For example, in order to promote sales, some food and beverage businesses are willing to adjust illegally the proportion of ingredients written on product packing to fit within the allowable limit. As a result, the customers who consume these products might be affected negatively and increase the risk of health problems and other diseases. Moreover, the persuasive intent of marketing practices could encourage people buy more than their real needs. It is no more waste of money for consumers than buying goods which is not proper for their using purpose  
  
On the other hand, apart from these drawbacks above, marketing and commercial activities also bring a wide range of benefits for society. Firstly, only thanks to advertisements, can customers be kept informed about newly-launched products. In other words, they are aware of the array of selections available to their demands; otherwise, they are confined to only a narrow range of products. Secondly, it is undeniable that advertising campaigns make significant contributions to increase brand awareness. Therefore, companies are able to approach prospective customers, promoting temporary sales and capturing more market share. On a large scale, advertising serves as a bridge between manufacturers and customers, giving rise to the consumer society.  
  
In conclusion, the development of businesses has given rise to the growing number of advertisements, and this trend is, in my opinion, advantageous as well as detrimental.
I would argue that there are both positives and negatives in equal measure.  
The problem with this response isthat it does notmeet the task accuracy scoring requirementas it applies to the discussion. There cannotbe an equal measure discussion since that is not provided as a response option. The writer can only choose from the provided answer choices. Any choice not within it is a task deviation that will automatically recieve a failing score. This essay is not going to pass as the writer has shown himself to be incapable of responding to questions based on simple choice options.  
  
The test requires the student to prove that he can perform simple discussions in written form, based on a provided format. By altering the discussion instruction and not choosing from within the specific 2 choices, to create a single opinion, based on the original prompt, the writer does not accurately represent the required topic restatement + personal opinion format. The scores are provided based upon how well you follow instructions and choose a response based on the provided outcome results / choices, not how you create your own discussion instruction and outcome results / choices. These are obvious problems and will show that you will not be inclined to follow the teacher's instructions in a classroom setting. If you cannot follow instructions because you want to go your own way in the response, maybe because that is how it works in your local schools, then you are not ready to study in an foreign setting.
## The population of Chile by age group between 1975 and 2035

  
  
The line graph gives information about Chile's demographic from 1975 to 2035, categorized according to their ages.  
Overall, the 15-64 years group has a percentage far surpass than those of the other though at present or future. The proportion of the youngest group has been declining and is expected to keep doing so. In contrast, that of the oldest one has been expressing an opposing trend.  
  
From 1975 to 2015, the graph for oldest people was characterized by a 2- stage upward trend that comprised a slight increase in 1975-2005 and a sharp one in 2005-2015 peaking at 10%. Opposing trends were observed in the others as the number of 15-64 years group increased sharply, peaking at 70% in 2015, and that of the youngest one decreased by roughly 16%.  
  
In the next 20-year period, only the oldest people's proportion is expected to keep rising by approximately 15% in 2035. However, the two aforementioned graphs are projected to reflect the downward trend but at different paces, with the former and the latter respectively reducing from the initial point of 60 and 17 %.  
  
*
from 1975 to 2035,  
An incorrect word equivalent usage is present for the word "between' from the original presentation. The alternate words could have been:  
  
In the midst of  
bounded by  
midway  
  
There are always keywords provided in the original that will test the LR and skills of the exam taker. The word "between" was one of those extra scoring words for the LR section. In this case, the exam taker lost points rather than gained points.  
  
Aside from the word usage concerns, the writer also shows a problem with thought clarity in relation to the cohesiveness and coherence of his paragraphs. He always combines 2 sets of information in one sentence, causing an overly long sentence whose content is not easy to track due to the extremely long sentences. Since there is a maximum 5 sentence allowance per paragraph, he should strive to present the information clearly in specific and individual sentences as opposed to compressed sentence and information presentation. Such confusing sentences will definitely lower the GRA score of the student.
***The charts below show the percentages of the water used in different sectors in Sydney, Australia in 1997 and 2007**.*  
## Summarize the information by selection and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

  
  
The diagram compares the proportion of the water in 5 different purposes: service industry, building industry, household use, manufacturing, and food industry in Sydney, Australia in 1997 and 10 years later  
  
It can be observed that there was an upward trend in the percentage of water demand in the food industry, manufacturing, and building industry, while there remain categories followed an opposite trend. In addition, the food industry had used water more than other sectors for 10 years  
  
In 1997, with 48%, the figure of water in the food industry reached the top rank in the surveyed list, followed by the water consumed in households at almost 20%. This figure for service industry and manufacturing was between 15% and 13% with the higher in manufacturing. The last-mentioned sector was the building industry with 5% and took the lowest position.  
  
In the next 10 years, the water used in the food industry underwent a marginal drop by 8%, however, this category still dominated the list and the least stills building industry at 2%. Besides, the total amount of water in the service industry and household use was approximately higher than food industry (25% and 21%, respectively). The statistic slightly decreased in 2007 and ended with 11%