dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
## UNIVERSITY SHOULD ACCEPT AN EQUAL NUMBER OF MALE AND FEMALE STUDENTS

  
  
These days, there is a great controversy surrounding the equalization of gender in tertiary education. Having the same viewpoint with the predominance of people, I strongly concur that both sexes have a similar quantity of chances at school.  
  
First, In virtue of gender discrimination, a large number of feminine people have no opportunities to attend any class at the universities. Following some religions, for instance, Islam or Hinduism, women and girls are not allowed to go to school. This situation leads to the loss of talented people just due to they are female. Furthermore, in the period of innovative civilization culture, all gender should have equal right of choosing what they want to study. Once gender discrimination vanishes, the human community step by step achieves the pinnacle of social evolution.  
  
Second, from the beginning of history, women have played an important role in human knowledge attainment, especially in science. We can not deny the contribution of Marie Curie and Queen Elizabeth I who devoted their whole life to the betterment world. These two women are huge motivations for the next generation of female students. Hence, the gender equalization number of universities is necessary to emphasize the importance of women's place. On the contrary, if fewer women hold important sectors in one region, they will receive no respect from men.  
  
In conclusion, universities should admit an equal number of both sexes and provide equal opportunities at all levels.
The question asked pertains to student ratio, not rate of academic success. The response is not applicable to the stated discussion foundation. Had the writer properly structured the response to indicate a strong agreement with gender ratio acceptance first, then used academic success ratio as the reason, then the response would have been highly rated intums of relevance to the topic.  
  
The discussion does not focus on academic and gender equality. Topics presented are rather inclined to support more female rather than an equal ratio of acceptance to men. The reasoning paragraphs oppose the provided extent opinion.This will leave the reader confused and also blur the actual opinion presentation to the point where the essay will be deemed non- cohesive in discussion approach. The opinion is not properly supported nor justified.
**TOPIC :  
*Nowadays more tasks at home and work are being performed by robots.***  
## Is this a negative or positive development?

  
  
MY WRITING  
  
With the advanced optimization of the modern world, the advent of robotic equipment has assisted human in both working and domestic tasks. While this breeds considerable benefits, certain resulting problems should be taken into sober consideration.  
  
One of the greatest contributions of robot to human life is that they enable millions of people to work efficiently and enjoy higher quality of life. In fact, thanks to the capability of robotic devices to handle work and resolve information at incredible speed and with accuracy, the burden of workloads could be substantially lowered, which means that many workers would expedite working process and yield more desirable productivity. At the same time, as household chores including cooking and cleaning are done by robots, many employees would have more time to relax and enjoy healthy home-cooked meals after a hard-working day at workplaces. This helps them to preclude potential diseases related to the lack of relaxation and consumption of unhygienic food including obesity, diabetes and even cancer.  
  
Notwithstanding all that, i am convinced that there are various risks that human may have to incur as a result of reliance on robotic assistants. From an objective perspective, the completion of domestic chores by robots means that people would take less physical activities and be highly likely to lead a sedentary lifestyle. This is totally a thorny problem in the fast-paced world where millions of them desperately need a healthy and active body to work efficaciously and prevent illnesses. Without being health-conscious and continuing to rely on these futuristic devices, not only do they have to expend more money to pay for the cost of hospitalization but their longevity is also reduced. Moreover, once such state-of-the-art artificial intelligence is able to perform tasks and assignments more effectively than human, chances are that they will be under the threat of being superseded and made redundant. Consequently, unemployment coupled with social maladies would inevitably accelerate and the future of humanity could be threatened.  
  
In conclusion, although the importance of robots in assisting people with work and household tasks is unimpeachable, i think that people's lives could be dominated as a result of their versatility based on aforementioned arguments.  
  
Please give a band on my essay
The flowery word usage does not respond correctly to the question asked. Direct opinion statements will help deliver a clear and topic connected opinion The response presentation altered the discussion topic format.  
  
O Q: IS THIS A NEGATIVE OR POSITIVE DEVELOPMENT?  
Response: ...certain resulting problems should be taken into sober consideration.  
  
Rather than delivering a positive or negative response, the writer created a benefits and disadvantages discussion. That approach does not relate to the question being asked. The response does not connect with the question properly. The writer created a totally disconnected discussion prompt of his own.  
  
The essay, due to the altered discussion response and format will recieve a failing score based mostly on an unrelated prompt response.
\*\*The bar chart below shows shares of expenditures for five major categories in the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom, and Japan in the year 2009.\*\*  
  
## **\*\*Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information below.\*\***

  
The information given in the chart makes comparisons in the number of money was spend on five categories such as food, housing, transportation, health care and clothing in four different countries in 2009.  
  
While the figures for spending of people in four countries have many disparities, it is clear that spender allocated much more for housing than any other categories. Health care and clothing, on the other hand, received the least expenses by people of these four given countries.  
  
As can be seen from the graph, people in four countries invest over 20% of their total expenditure in housing. American expenditure on this category was highest (over 25%) while the proportion of expenses made by people in other countries remained with over 20% total expenditure. Food was the second most expensive category in UK and Japan. Japanese and British spent over 20% on food whereas spending of people in Canada and US was lower, just roughly 15%. For the US and Canada, transportation was the second expensive sector which cost around 17% to 20% while that was cheaper in UK and Japan, just 15% and 10% respectively.  
  
Health care and clothing were two sectors that had inexpensive costs. Only American expended more than 15% on health care, in other countries people spent just less than 5%. Finally, clothing comprised over 5% in Canada and UK while in US and Japan this figure just at roughly 4%.  
  
*
The writer has confused the time allowances for the Task1 and Task 2 essays. The task 1 essay has a 20 minute allotment, covering 150-200 words. The writer has provided a discussion that requires a 40 minute allowance, a task 2 essay criteria. The writer needs to be reminded that a task 1 essay is based on short but clearly explained paragraphs.The score is based on summary efficiency, not the number of words written. The clear brevity of the essay recieves good score. An overly long essay does not.  
  
The summary overview is confusing. Money is referred to in "amount spent" not "number of money spent". There are no clear listing references in relation to the significant measurement sources. The trending statement does not offer relevant information in relation to data sources.The writer did not consider the audience target of the presentation. All the sentences are over worded. These could have used a shorter presentation.
***Task 2: some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely.***  
  
## Discuss both these view and give your own opinion.

  
  
Oversharing of information has raised huge controversies amongst the general public. Some believe this practice will be beneficial for academic purposes while others believe that information should not be shared freely. Personally, I agree that information sharing should cost a fee.  
  
On the one hand, free information access is undoubtedly helpful for scientificđ research. This will provide scientists and researchers a wide range of information and statistics to apply to their studies. As a result, a variety of information would lead to an exact study result, which helps in innovating and ameliorating our quality of life. For instance, in research about job satisfaction, if participants are honest about their experience and feelings, the study result could help the leaders improve working conditions or adjust remuneration, therefore employees satisfaction would be enhanced.  
  
On the other hand, some information is too valuable to be shared without any cost, even for academic studies. One possible reason is that some information will be detrimental for the business or individual if being shared freely. For example, in some surveys, the business leaders are required to expose their methods of management and regulation. Publicising this information will help their rivals learn about their policies and imitate them, thus creating certain negative effects on the participants' company. This type of information plays a key role in the business operation, therefore it should cost a fee to assure that researchers will keep it secure for the survey participants. The more valuable the information is, the more expensive it should cost for academic researchers to access.  
  
In conclusion, although a variety of accessible information will be significantly helpful for academic studies, I strongly believe that some information is too risky to be shared freely. Therefore scientists should pay to access this information as well as assure its security.
The essay is jumping from one topic coverage to another. The lack of focused discussion throughout makes the essay confusing to follow and difficult to remember. The writer had a difficult time representing the 3 topics with clarity in the paraphrase. Without the specific fields in synonyou fform, it appears that the discussion represents social media, which it should not.  
  
Reasoning paragraphs also lack the proper collective discussion needs. The error forced an incoherent and non-cohesive discussion approach. The essay failed in its efforts to discuss both points of view and present an opinion The writer must familiarize himself with the proper response format for this task before attempting to complete another response task of this kind.
## Leadership vs. Management - Differences

  
  
What's the difference between management and leadership? Do you think they are different or the same? There are many roles in an organization, like parents as to children, a CEO as to managers, these people take their responsibilities to operate the entire organization. There must be one in charge of the leadership and the other in charge of the management, and they can not live without others.  
  
The founder of Apple, Steve Jobs, is a person with creativity, innovation, curiosity, and leadership. Every time, he can catch people's eye when publishing a new product of an iPhone with surprising functions and persuade people to buy it. But what makes iPhone from Jobs' idea into a real one and be produced and delivered to a buyer, is the managers' efforts. They are separated into different parts with their functions, and they have to be well organized, with clear goals to finish their jobs. Includes resource management, design, marketing, customer service, etc. Every step needs the cooperation of each department. Their efforts are making Jobs' ideas into practice in a perfect and attractive product, also profitable.  
  
As we can know, without a leader, the organization could lose its goal and be unable to break through a handicap. However, without the manager, the organization could unable to finish anything. Leaders and managers play a different roles, and they are interchangeable.
Steve Jobs wore 2 hats when he was still alive and a part of the Apple corporation. He was both the leader and manager of the corporation. He developed products and was the head of each product development team. He also directed the development path of the company as its leader. He is not the correct example to use in this essay due to the multiple hats that he wore within the corporation.  
  
The writer seems to have forgotten that Mr. Jobs has been dead for several years. He continues to address-the person as if still living in this presentation. The tense usage is off. The essay does not deliver a clear definition of leadership and management as seperate areas in a company. It is only focused on a discussion regarding Steve Jobs. It does not deliver the writing requirements. There is a clear demarcation between leadership and management that did not bust at Apple during the time of its founder.
Over the past few years, music has been receiving a great deal of public attention. Some people believe that music can connect others tog to be closer. Although this issue is not without disagreement, I agree with it.  
  
On the one hand, there are a variety of reasons why people accept this issue. First, since music does not distinguish the ages, everyone can enjoy the same music such as pop, classical, or rock. In fact, today teenagers extremely love rap which is popular and attracts youngsters, some others think that over the age of thirty, they will never like this kind; however, this is wrong thinking. There are a variety of parents who support it and encourage their children to purchase their dreams, moreover, they enjoy rap as an art. Secondly, listening to music helps people around the world to become closer. For instance, through YouTube and all the musical apps, people can share their voice and passion with others who are from different countries and ages thank for music, people can find a lot of friends who have the same favorable music.  
  
On the other hand, some kinds of disagreement are also taken into consideration. For one thing, in order to bring people of different cultures and ages together, people need to have the same passion for music. Mostly, the young people and the old people have a different hobby about music. For example, over thirty years old, people usually prefer to listen to classical music and the slow flow; meanwhile, teenagers have a tendency to listen to pop music or the fast-slow. Therefore, it is difficult to connect generations through music. For another thing, should people listen and sympathize with all kinds of music, it will bring others closer. As a matter of fact that this idea is pretty hard to do. However, today, there are a number of young people who combine rap and classical music together, the flow is slower and the words in the songs are meaningful which is a good point in the eyes' old people. That leads to having a positive view of rap songs.  
  
In conclusion, despite fact that this issue is not without unaccepted, I agree with it. By taking some pros and cons, people should evaluate music positively that makes everyone connecting although they are not the same ages or cultures.
The opinion statement is only partially correct. The thesis tells the examiner of the writers opinion, that partially addresses the discussion requirement. There is a missing element in the response.There is no measurement or degree of opinion presented. While the emotion based on logic is present in the paragraph, it did not clearly represent the required emotional response in the correct manner (e.g. I strongly, partially). Since the response opinion is somewhat correct/related to the discussion, a score will still be provided for this section. Just not at a high basis preliminary score.  
  
The secondary reasoning did not support the previous opinion. It created a disconnected discussion flow between the paragraphs as it does not provide a 2nd supporting opinion in the single point of view manner required. This created a semi- responsive presentation with scoring only partially applied based on discussion opinion relevance. The writer can only create a fully developed discussion by solidifying his opinion evidence and not altering his opinion in any discussion part.
## Do the advantages of studying abroad outweigh the disadvantages?

  
  
My Answer:  
  
Nowadays many parents are sending their children to study in foreign countries for college. Despite the far distance they will have with their loved ones, students will gain a lot of knowledges that they will not regret later in their lives. In my opinion, although they may face some difficulties, studying abroad is far better than staying in their comfort zone.  
  
One of the greatest benefits of studying in a different country is that it will provide unique life experiences and challenges because students will have chances to learn about different cultures and languages. For example, when I studied in the United States, I was forced to deal with people from all over all the world such as doing group projects or living with them, which enhanced my social skills and I have also learned how to blend in with people with varies cultural background. Studying overseas can give you challenges not only they will make you grow as a person, but also gain a valuable life skill.  
  
On the other hand, one of the biggest drawbacks of studying overseas usually stem from parents being so far away. This may cause depression especially when students are facing difficulties in their daily lives. For instance, student may not be able to visit their parents often and may feel homesick every now and then. Furthermore, they cannot call their parents often because of time differences. However, in other words, it can force the young ones to be independent and learn to be on their own. Thus, despite the feeling of homesick, it may help you grow.  
  
In conclusion, attending universities overseas has become the new norm for better education. Although students are no doubt far away from their home and root, they will gain incredible knowledges and unforgettable experience. It is my belief that spending time overseas for higher education is much more beneficial than getting education in local universities.
The writer has neglected to restate the original topic in a manner similar to the original discussion. Rather than presenting a prompt restatement, the essayist began the discussion in the incorrect paragraph. The student must never present his personal discussion in this section. Only an explanation of the original topic and a thesis statement should be provided in this section. The discussion presented altered the original topic focus although the discussion pattern was retained for the opinion presentation.  
  
Reasoning paragraph 1 was a very strong explanation in support of the opinion of the author. It showed a direct benefit as experienced by the student ata specific time in his life. This set the tone for the rest of the discussion. The problem is that instead of giving a similar representation by presenting a drawback as an advantage, as required by the discussion, the writer suddenly went into a full blown comparative discussion, instead of partial comparative discussion. This means that the paragraph strayed from the single opinion discussion instruction of the discussion prompt. This paragraph will not be considered for scoring as it became irrelevant to the opinion presented. The essay will only be given a partial score for a partially relevant discussion.
***Title:  
In the past, people store knowledge in books. Nowadays, they store knowledge on the Internet.***  
## Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

  
  
Nowadays, with the development of technology, people keeping knowledge on the internet instead of writing into books. Although It has some dangers such as: losing information... because of computer or smartphone problems, I believe that with many advantages that it brings will far outweigh any drawbacks.  
  
The major disadvantage of store knowledge on the internet is lost information. It can occur online or offline. For example, you can be attached by hackers when you used the internet or maybe have problems with your computer. According to Microsoft security, in 2020 there are about 8 trillion threat signals which are received and analyzed every day. Moreover, if you spend too much time on the screen, it will make harmful for your eye because of blue light.  
  
On the other side, if you store knowledge in books, you will print or write everything you need. It makes waste paper and manpower. If you are a student, when you go to school, instead of carrying a laptop, you must carry heavy paper books and wonder if do I bring enough books? Special, it harms the environment because of using too much paper.  
  
On the one hand, it is true that store knowledge on the internet has several obvious benefits. First, the internet can store a huge amount of information than any book. For example, you can store thousands of books without worrying about memory or weight like storing in papers. Second, this allows researchers to easily get the information they need without finding cover to cover the book. For example, you click on search tools and fill in the information. The internet will give the results for you (maybe 5 sec.) Moreover, you can look for information on the internet whenever you want.  
  
In conclusion, I agree that there are great benefits of storing knowledge on the internet and the modern human should figure out to make the best use of them.
The essay is only based on a 4 paragraph format. The writer has over presented his discussion in a manner that will result in an incomplete presentation during the actual test. The essay only needs 2 reasoning paragraphs in the presentation. The writer should learn to look for the paragraph number within the discussion reference sentence.  
  
The question response in the first paragraph should not include an actual discussion yet.This is another point of error in this presentation. There is also the incorrect use of ellipses in this section that is increasingly leading the presentation to an overall failing score.  
  
The information also refers to researched data from Microsoft. While information can be mackup, this must be done without any research reference as the data should be based on personal knowledge or experience and everday known information.  
  
I cannot proceed to review this essay. It has way too many failures to be pointed out. The writer needs to read and learn from other writing samples before proceeding with his own writing exercises.