dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
## better the large family or not?

  
  
*Topic: In many countries today, people in cites either live alone or in small family units, rather than in large family groups. Is this positive or negative trend?*  
  
The issue whether the urban dwellers tend to live in the nuclear family still remains debatable. Some people hold the belief that living in the extended family is the most effective method to tighten up families' relationship. Other skeptics claim that it has negative impacts on the economy budget. In my point of view, this phenomenon has both positive and negative consequences in equal measure.  
  
On the one hand, there is an increasingly tendency for inhabitants to live in the nuclear family or even live alone. So what is the reason of this issue? There are several advantages of living in small family. From an economic perspective, living in the nuclear family can be seen as the way to save numerous amount of money for the owners. With the labour market becoming increasingly competitive, it is far from easy to find a well-pay occupation, hence saving money plays a crucial role in our daily life. Moreover, the habit of living in large family groups may lead to thousands of problems between the elderly and the young. Normally, the older often keep the negative views about the modern lifestyle of youngster, which results in having misunderstood with each others. For the young, they may have the sense of lacking of the connection with their families' members.  
  
On the other hand, the way of living in large family groups also has a variety of benefits. With people becoming much busier and lacking of care for their children, their parents could take care of their kids instead. Having much time spent on works, people may found it comfortable to concentrate on their works. Equally important, if you lived in the extended family, it would be much better in the household works perspective. There is a need to share housework when people live under the same roof in large family. Some humans struggle to do housework or with who have little or no time at all, living in the extended family would due to the emancipation of housework's burdens.  
  
All things considered, each idea has its own validity. However, how to select one of them is as hard as the chicken and eggs questions. Our mission is to combine one of them to create a comprehensive environment.  
  
**THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SPENDING TIME ON READING**  
*If my essay has any mistakes about grammar, vocabulary, idea. Please do not hesitate to tell.  
I'm looking forward to receiving your ideas.*
## spending money on arts

  
  
Nowadays, we are living in the world where the evolution of arts is a heated topic and often discussed. It is commonly believed that focusing in the arts is not an optimal approach to invest a lot of money whilst I believe that investing in spurring the development of arts is essential, I would also argue that the government should concentrate public services and facilities.  
  
It is vital that the government spends a significant amount of its budget on public services because some services such as hospitals, schools, roads are really important for people, it also decide the quality of their life. Having not well-qualificated hospitals, people are not treated. Unless the nation do not have proffesional schools, young generations will not be provided high education quality. Moreover, investing the public services can accelerate the development of nation in both economic and cultural. For instance, in Viet Nam, government rarely ignore the facilities and public services and they frequently find some new solutions to make their country become great. Education and tourism are especially focused and now this application from it can bring profit and a lot of advantages for government.  
  
However, this does not mean that the arts should be completely neglected. It can not deny that arts have an important role of nation. The first thing can be mentioned is music which help people alleviate stress after nerve-racking time.  
  
Furthermore, the value of history and culture may be preserved and maintained for a long time so young generation understand about the core values that ancient people built. Besides, the arts are the face of nation, which advertise the beauty of traditional cultural so the nation will acquires an international reputation. It is also strengths of country to provide tourism services so the government can receive a lot of benefits from it.  
  
In conclusion, although the majority of government spending should be directed towards public services, spending money on the arts is not a waste and should continue. A balance is required to ensure public services are maintained whilst the arts remain available to all.
@trungkien2492000  
Hello there!  
  
Use more appropriate transition words because the structure kind of gets lost in the process.  
  
Furthermore, try to also be more specific. If you are tackling about public services, what specifically are you talking about? This also means that you should be able to show how these play out in real life. If you can give out a concrete example, the better it would be for your writing.  
  
Aside from that, I think that your writing is already put-together as you were able to integrate the right balance of complexity and simplicity. Just adding depth will help you curate more substantive content.  
  
Best fo luck as always.
## report for a university lecturer describing the table

  
  
A glance at the table illustrates information about indicators of economic and social of Canada, Japan, Peru and Zaire in 1994. Overall, it is clear that the figures for all four indicators were consistently higher in Canada and Japan. As can be seen from the table, Japan led in annual income per person with 15 760$, this was followed by 11 100$ in Canada and 160$ in Peru. The country having the lowest income was Zaire with only 130$.  
  
In term of life expectancy at birth, it was higher in wealthier countries such as Japan accounted for 78, Canada took up 76, Peru and Zaire respectively took 51 and 47. This indicated that richer countries are able to put more money into health care than poorer ones.  
  
The amount of calories consumed daily per person roughly followed the same ranking. Canadians had 3326 calorie per day, while the Japanese took 2846 calories. The corresponding figures for Peru and Zaire were 1927 and 1749, respectively.  
  
In adult literacy rate, both Canada and Japan made up 99%, followed by Peru with 68% and Zaire, the country always having the lowest data had a literacy rate of 34%.  
  
Thanks for reading. Please correct my mistakes and suggest many ideas about writing because it's quite difficult to describe a table that information is almost always in a sequence.  
  
*
@mphuonggg  
Hi there.  
  
You are wasting space in your essay when you have to repeatedly mention the countries and data you are specifically trying to analyze. Have a more structured and organized approach to your writing that will enable you to write with more precision in your meaning. If you do this, you'll also save up space in your writing that will help you curate more substantive content because you'll have more direction in the content's entirety. Focus on having these spaces filled out with meaning and definition. Furthermore, try to add more depth in your analysis through not just describing the data but also incorporating your own interpretation of what it means in real life.
**Topic.**  
## Do you think the death penalty should be banned forever and why?

  
  
**Writing.**  
Death penalty has been excluded from many nations' regulation since it is considered to be inappropriate in the civil society. In my opinion, death penalty should be completely abolished as this inhumane action brings only death to our humankind.  
  
Firstly, there might be wrongful executions which cannot be taken back. This is because the juries might reach wrong conclusion based only on the witness words and not thorough investigation. Then the innocent would get the penalty even he is not a crime. For example, Cameron Willingham was accused of killing his three daughters. The final judgment made by claims of his neighbor was death. Later, thanks to modern technology he was found innocent, but it was too late. Thus, false arrests lead to another tragedies produced by the government and laws.  
  
Secondly, death penalty violates the right to life of individuals. If you decide to take the life of convicted person, your mindset is not different from a murderer. Opposed to executions, crimes should be re-educated to self-reflect their behaviors and then pay back to the community right in prisons. Otherwise, what would we get back when carrying out death penalty? Nothing except for death. Everyone has a right to live to fulfil social duty.  
  
In conclusion, I agree that death penalty should be supplanted by life imprisonment or other punishments. This encourages a more humane attitude towards crimes and allows them to make contributions to society.
@trvaanh  
Hi there.  
  
The tenses of your verbs have to be approved. Always use the appropriate words when you are writing as this will help you relay the information in the most meaningful and efficient manner. Having a structured and thoughtful approach to writing will curate substantial content that does not move away from the conventions of writing.  
  
Furthermore, work also on having meaningful and yet shorter sentences that will help you create more substantial writing. Using techniques that minimize filler words to pave way for structure will assist the building blocks of your writing.  
  
Aside from this, I think that your writing already has a lot of depth in it. Keep going.  
  
Best of luck in your writing endeavors.
## prison time for crime offenders

  
  
*topic: Some people think sending criminals to prison is not an effective way to deal with them. Education and training are better. To what extent do you agree or disagree?*  
  
It is often argued that governments should not force criminals to serve prison sentences due to the ineffectiveness, but rather be softer on crimes by applying education and training. I partly agree with this perspective.  
  
On the one hand, there are reasons explaining why some people support the idea of using educational environment and training on deterring criminals. First, in terms of involuntary offenders, normally the law-abiding ones, long prison sentences would seem to be too ruthless and not socially widely accepted. Because they might have committed the crimes not on purposes, for example for self-defense or feeding their family when it comes to robbery, not for their own profit. That is why non-custodial verdicts such as community service orders, vocational education and probation orders would be handed out and act as a deterrent in these cases. Second, for serious crimes, even homicide,were they to not fully and properly educated to change their nature from a criminal into a good human, it would be a waste to send them to prison. Moreover, through education and training, the officials may gain more insights into motivation of criminal offenses, and thus to come up with more congruous solution to reduce crime rate.  
  
However, as far as I am concerned, to culminate the effectiveness of dealing with crimes, governments should utilize more appropriate ways. Hardly could any solution be more practical than using rigorous supervision on crimes, alongside education and training. As I mentioned above, notorious crimes with unethical behavior basically need much time to change for the better. It means in the early stage of using education and training, there is a high possibility they could return to crime again, and may negatively affect their counterparts. In addition, in terms of cases that are too heinous and dangerous, the full weight of the law and the policy of zero-tolerance must be imposed in order to ensure social security.  
  
In conclusion, governments should ponder using alternative ways to penalize offenses but in a way of flexibility. It means the leaders should combine education and training with strict policy before granting a certain summary judgement.
@GiangNguyen1807  
Hello there!  
  
Evade the usage of filler words that do not contribute substantially to your written content. Focus more on the depth and substance than needing to fulfill a word count. Having this direct approach will help you make concrete your thoughts in order to capitalize on the potential of the meaning you are trying to relay.  
  
Furthermore, try to also incorporate more worldly or real-world examples that truly capture the words you are relaying. If you can do this, you'll foster a more definitive approach to writing.  
  
Consider also making concise the second paragraph to pave way for more discussion in the first paragraph. This will help you create more dynamism in your writing.  
  
Best of luck as always.
## defense against poverty

  
  
Everyone can make a difference if they give a little bit of help. Just by providing a little bit of time to volunteer for programs and provide education, support, and insight into other programs. Volunteering is our fist defense against poverty, there is so much each person can offer if they just provide an ear to listen or a shoulder to cry on or a list of resources. Provide food or clothing to families in need will assist in them having to use their limited funds for clothing and can use it to spend on other things they may need. If you own a business hire within the Poverty pool to show them basic job skills to ensure success.  
  
I would like feedback on my sentence. I need it for my class. Can anyone help?
@aknutson119  
Hello there!  
  
Simplify your sentences as your meaning gets a little bit lost in translation because of the deemed complexity of the structure of your writing. Trying to give out a proposition also entails that you should have a little bit of a mixture of a persuasive and informative tone in your writing to convince the readers that this is something that they would or should have. If you can curate something with all of these merged meanings, you'll improve the overall context of your writing.  
  
For instance, what resources specifically should people look after? Why is this method more convincing and effective than others that may be present?  
  
Consider these questions. Best of luck.
My name is Rahman. I am learning English in pare. help me.  
  
## analysis of the table

  
  
The table give information about compared of an average expenditure that spent by Australian Family between 1991 and 2001. Overall, the table showed that was a little increased at the monthly expenditure of an average Australian Family n 2001, in US $ 30 /Month.  
  
Of the 4 types of expenditure surveyed, 4 types experienced increases and 2 types experienced a decline. The largest increase in average expenditure by Austraial families is for electricity and water, increasing by US $ 45, from US $ 75 in 1991 to US $ 120 in 2001. While the lowest average expenditure increase is for housing that increases by US $ 5.  
  
Of the two average expenditures that have decreased - issued by Australian families - the highest is expenditure on transportation which has decreased by an average of US $ 25. While clothing expenditure showed a decrease of US $ % 10.
Thanks for giving me feedback.  
  
## DUBAI GOLD SALES 2002

  
  
The line graph presents the total amount of gold sold in each month throughout the year of 2002 in Dubai. Units are measures in millions of Dirhams.  
  
The most apparent pattern to be seen from the graph is that with the exception of the first 3 months in which the number of gold sales increased, it went through a significant fall and a slight fluctuation during the year before ended at the same level which it started at.  
  
The gold sales stood at 200 millions of Dirhams in January and then rose to a high o approximately 350 in March. From this point of time, there was a dramatic drop in the amount of gold sold over the following 4 months to minimally above 100 millions in July. The period of time between July and October witnessed a small fluctuation in the gold sales, which virtually evened out in the last quarter of the year and finished at its beginning level at 200 millions of Dirhams.  
  
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## sports participation rates

  
  
The chart gives information about the percentage of people taking part in sports in Canada in1998 and 2005.  
  
Overall, paticipation rates in 2005 in comparsion with rates in 1998 was lower in all type of sports except soccer. The most preferable sports were ice hockey and golf.  
  
The proportion of people paticipating in golf dropped from 22% in 1998 to 20%in 2005. Followed by, the percentage of people taking up ice hockey was about 17% in 1998 and 16% in 2005, respectively. In addition, it can be seen that the baseball participation rates decreased dramatically from 17% to 6%. Undergoing the same downward trend, the swimming paticipation rates declined from 13% to about 10%.  
  
The paticipation rates in other types were witnessed the same downward trend but at lower rates. the paticipation rates in cycling, volleyball, downhill skiing were dropped at the same rates around 7% whereas the proportion of people playing tennis felt slightly from 8% to 6%. In contrast, soccer paticipation rates increased marginally from 8% in 1998 to 10% in 2005.  
  
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## it services in a library

  
  
The pie charts illustrate the findings of a conduct carried out by a college library to seek the opinions of full-time and part-time students about the IT support offered by the library and its current opening hours.  
  
It is clear that a larger proportion of full-time students were very satisfied with the IT support than in the case of part-time students. Nevertheless, a great majority of part-time students were very happy with the current opening hours.  
  
In terms of IT support, over half of full-time students were feeling content with the IT support compared with 20% of part-time students. Almost the same percentage of full-time and part-time students were quite happy with the IT service, at 32% and 35% respectively. While only 13% of full-time students were dissatisfied with IT support, this figure was was nearly four times (45%) for part-time students.  
  
The vast majority of both full-time and part-time students were happy with the current opening hours,at 67% and 72%, respectively. 32% of full-time students stated that they were quite happy with current opening hours, compared with 23% of part-time students. Lastly, a small minority of students was not satisfied at all with the opening hours - just 5% or less.  
  
*
There are some grammar mistakes.  
1. conduct is an uncountable noun, so there's no need for an "a"  
2. over half of the full-time students  
3. happy with the current opening hours  
  
You may want to change some of your words  
1. happy => pleased, glad, satisfied  
2. compared with 23% of part-time students => while the figure for part-time students was lower, at 23%
## responsibility of students' development

  
  
Hi everyone! I failed my IELTS test and I am hoping you could help me with my writing. Thank you so much!  
  
Topic: School teachers are more responsible for the social and intellectual development of students than parents. To what extent to you agree or disagree.  
  
Many people believe that teachers shaped their students socially and intellectually. While I believe that they play a significant part in what we are today, it is undoubtedly parents who play major roles in the upbringing of a child.  
  
We consider teachers as our second parent which play a significant role in our lives. Children spend most of their time in school, from pre-school until their college years. During these years, teachers give them lessons which will be the foundation of their academic learning. In addition, they teach children how to socially engage with the environment. Moreover, teachers handle structured and non-structured activities and students' experience with these make up a considerable amount of their social skills. They teach children activities with a group of students for their arts class. Children are also divided into certain group for their physical education's class and are taught teamwork, these aspects can be determined at school, to name a few. In short, teachers mentor their students and by the rules and roles they played.  
  
On the other hand, it is parents who hold the most critical role in molding their children. Although most of the learner's time is spent in school, parents have the crucial obligation in shaping their child in the comforts of their home. This responsibility may even start while the child is still on their mother's womb. For instance, mothers have the instinct to read a certain story while listening to classical music like Mozart during pregnancy stage. Studies have shown that children who are nourished by mothers thru reading and listening to classical sound during this stage has an increased level of intelligence and the ability to adapt more with their surrounding. Additionally, as children grow up, parents guide them in every aspect of life. Learning right conduct does not go hand in hand with just learning a subject in school. Children are taught good manners by their parents at an early stage. Furthermore, it is a well-known fact that children do absorbed more of what they are taught in an early age, as to learning, as an example, English language. Children who are taught during their toddler years are more fluent than those who have studied English language later on in their lives. To put it differently, parents guide their children not just socially and intellectually but, most importantly, wholeheartedly.  
  
Overall, teachers who have become student's second parent influenced greatly their wellness dimension during primary school to graduate year, but there is no doubt that parent's role is more vital, for they are present from the start of their children's lives. Guidance and honing for their children is their lifelong responsibility.
Hello @Balocating, I agree with most of @littlecurious's corrections, except replacing "thru" with "through". "Thru" is a correct word.  
  
Here are my advice:  
  
There are some prepositions used incorrectly: "Children spend ... time in school"  
... on their mother's womb  
...taught in an early age  
  
Also you should check your word choice for these:  
"listening to classical sound"  
"their wellness dimension"  
  
Your sentences are fine, but try to write compound sentences besides short ones. Compound sentences create the smoother flow for the essay.  
  
Hope you do well with your next IELTS test!
Please give me some advice! Thanks a lot.  
  
## how a good weather forecast is made?

  
  
The picture illustrates the process performed by the Australian Bureau of Meteorology of collecting weather information, analyzing and presenting accurate weather reports.  
  
There are four steps required to come up with a brief broadcast. Weather information collecting and the analysis to the sources must be done prior to the design of the broadcast, which will be delivered through different platforms while all the materials are well-prepared.  
  
To speak more precisely, attribute and spatial data should be collected through different facilities, including satellite, radar, and drifting buoy, in the first case. With the data, professionals may analyze the information through specific techniques, which satellite photo, radar screen, and synoptic chart will be illustrated respectively according to data collected with each method. Prediction to the weather for the coming week will at the same time be completed during this process.  
  
With all the materials gathered in computers, technician may begin to organize the lines and storyboards of the weather report. There are various ways to deliver messages to the audience, either TV newsreader, radio, or recorded announcement are all accessible ways to deliver broadcasts. Whether successfully transforming difficult messages into straightforward programms target to the public is one of the most important topics to produce forecasts.  
  
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