dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
## GM food : benefits and drawback

  
  
*Some people think that GM crops are a positive development. Others argue that they are potentially dangerous. Discuss both views and give your own opinion*  
  
With the fast development of technology, GM crops are prevalent in modern-day society. Some people argue that these crops are a significant advancement while others claim that they are associated with potential problems. Both viewpoints will be discussed and critically evaluated before a final conclusion is drawn.  
  
On the upside, there are plausible reasons why people advocate the development of genetic modification. To begin with, it provides the food security for people all over the world. Recently, while many cities are now facing with worldwide problems such as overpopulation and catastrophe, it is essential to cater the sufficient amount of food for the underprivileged who struggle with disastrous effect and impoverished conditions. In addition, transgenic crops can promote food quality and hygiene at desirable attributes m. Since the modernization and industrialization society is developing rapidly, GE food is beneficial from enhancing higher nutrition, productivity and having longer storage time. Therefore, the standard of living considerably improves.  
  
On the downside, there are strong arguments against the use of GM crops. Firstly, they are potentially dangerous for human health. In spite of an abundance of strict testings, scientists can not guarantee the safety of these bio-technological products. People are at long- term of risks which can raise the question of food quality. Furthermore, biotechnology can pose threat to the environment. The use of these crops can reduce the variety of strains which banishes the nutrition in soil. As a result, there is a imbalance in the ecological system which causes catastrophic consequences and other serious problems.  
  
In conclusion, it is true that GE food is a double-edged sword that may enable or hinder development. In my opinion, people should find solutions to maximize the advantages and alleviate the disadvantages.
Hello, guys. I'm Jackson. Currently i am struggling writing Ielts essay. Please give me some advices to improve my coherence and grammar and so on. Or, what do you gurus think about this question? I'll appreciate you guys do. Thanks  
  
## nuclear energy influence

  
  
Q:  
*As a result of global warming, many countries are turning to nuclear power instead of burning fossil fuels such as coal, oil and natural gas. What are the advantages and disadvantages of nuclear power stations? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?*  
  
A:  
With the worsening greenhouse effect, nations tend to use nuclear energy instead of fossil fuels. From my perspective, using nuclear energy does more good than harm in terms of the economy of a country as well as the environment.  
  
The obvious disadvantage of utilizing nuclear energy is the substances after the process of nuclear fission. Owing to those substances, which usually are radioactive, they would harm human body or lead to cancer. According to a report, individuals who live nearby a nuclear power stations are likely to get cancer; in addition, the amount of radioactive material in those residents is 100 times more than the average.  
  
Thus, government would need to budget a huge amount of money to treat those citizens or set a special apartment to deal with nuclear pollution, which might have a great influence on the society.  
  
The opposite side of the nuclear coin, however, is that it not makes our environment cleaner but also reduces a great deal of expenditure that the government spends on the fossil fuels. Compared with coal or crude oil, it uses less amount of nuclear resources and does not release greenhouse gases to generate the same amount of electricity. As a result, civilizations are able to use electronics or appliances at a lower price; meantime, the rate of global warming might decelerate, which enables us to live in a cleaner place. That is to say, the advantages of using nuclear outweigh its drawbacks.  
  
In my view, though using nuclear energy has negative influence on our health. However, it truly boosts our economy and enables us to live in a better quality of live.
@Jackson97010  
Hello there, Jackson! I'm here to provide you with writing feedback on this essay. Welcome here! I hope you keep coming back to us after if you find these comments helpful and beneficial for you.  
  
Firstly, I would say that, while you have quite an effective grasp of the language, there are certain aspects that can be improved. For instance, try to curate sweeter shortened sentences along the way. Doing this will permit you to be more straightforward with your language. This will also allow you to elevate the overall tone of writing that you have.  
  
Furthermore, it would be better if you kept the length of your paragraphs balanced. The fluctuations in length can appear to be off-putting rather than helpful in disseminating information.  
  
Best of luck as always.
## recycling laws to be more strict?

  
  
*Some people claim that not enough of the waste from homes is recycled. They say that the only way to increase recycling is for governments to make it a legal requirement.  
  
To what extent do you think laws are needed to make people recycle more of their waste?*  
  
Recycling of waste is one of the major act for preserving environment. However, it is also a less emphasized issue which is often argued to be implicated by legal provisions. I partially agree. This essay will discuss how legal instruments can be helpful in encouraging recycling as practice in people.  
  
Undoubtedly, recycling should be a habit of today's society where risks of ecological disasters are high. Yet, people are still lagging behind when it comes to recycling. A recent news about recycling reported only 20% of waste collected from a council in south Australia. It seems people do not care about the issue. In contrast to this, some cities in Canada, have policies of mandatory recycling, where people are encouraged to discard waste in a recycling bin. This policy has been reported to be of grand success making the city greener and cleaner in 5 years. Citizens of that particular city claims to support the policy that has changed their dumping behavior, who also feel more responsible to the future generation. Nevertheless, people can also intimated by fear when laws are involved.  
  
Certainly, fear should not be a reason for people to do anything in this civilized world. Rather government's responsibility should to be aware and educate people about healthy dumping behavior than terrorizing with authority, regardless of the cause. Government can launch local and nationwide campaigns about waste management behaviors. Public service announcements in radios and televisions can be one of the way of relaying the message about garbage management. Stakeholders at every level could be informed and made responsible to further provide support programs about recycling.  
  
In summary, government should provoke it's people for good manners of dumping which are also the need of today's society. Nonetheless, people should not be abided by law to enforce such practice rather educated through awareness programs. Hence i totally disagree that government should use law for recycling.
Hi @qromj19  
I agree that your opinion in the introduction and in the conclusion is incompatible. Your point must remain unchanged throughout the essay.  
  
**A recent news about recycling reported only 20% of waste collected from a council in south Australia**: This is an uncompleted sentence. Just check its structure.  
  
Apart from that, your essay consists of diversed vocab and the complement of examples. That's a plus.  
  
Overall, I find your writing impressive. Hope you find my comment useful!
@qromj19  
Hello there. Welcome to the forum! I hope you find this feedback to be beneficial to your learning endeavors in the long-run. You can keep coming back to us for more feedback.  
  
First and foremost, you can ditch the fancy language and instead utilize smaller chunks of concise sentences. If you do this, you'll be able to curate more substantive and meaningful content while still maintaining a rather educational tone in your essay. Apply this specifically for your first paragraph.  
  
While I think that the second paragraph has firm thoughts backed with evidences, it appears to be rather cluttered. I would highly recommend trying to structure it with more organization with the usage of transition terminologies along the way.  
  
Best of luck as always.
## transport infrastructure

  
  
*Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you (dis)agree?*  
  
There are people who voice that governments should invest more money in railways instead of roads. In my opinion, I totally agree with this idea as railway traffic has the edge over travelling by roads.  
  
First of all, using rail roads could prevent traffic jams. Because trains can only go on the railway, all the trips have to be tightly scheduled to prevent trains from smashing into each other or rendering themselves stuck at any place. Unlike trains, cars and motorbikes can travel on the roads without much precise selection which often leads to traffic jams in rush hours. By travelling by trains, people can save time by preventing congestion. As a result, passengers can arrive at their destinations sooner than going by cars or motorbikes, especially in the case of long - distanced travel.  
  
Another advantage of using railroad is the quantity and quality of goods carried by trains. With cars or even trucks, it still poses a difficulty to carry a large number of goods without damaging them to some extent. However, trains can do a great job at transferring products. As trains have plenty of wide carriages, they are able to carry a massive number of commodities as well as keep them intact during the journey. Therefore, there is no doubt that transferring goods using railway transportation is much more effective than using roads.  
  
In conclusion, travelling by train has offered people various benefits. On that account, governments should definitely spend money on the upgrade and extension of railways rather than that of roads
@Veranda  
  
Hello there.  
  
Here are my suggestions:  
  
1. "railway traffic has the edge over travelling by roads." (in 1st paragraph) :  
I think it should follow parallel structure in this sentence. Perhaps you can change it to "railway transportation" and "road traffic"?  
  
2. "cars and motorbikes can travel on the roadswithout much precise selection" (2nd paragraph) :  
the words are ambiguous to understand  
  
3. "~~By~~ travelling by trains, people can save time by preventing congestion."(2nd paragraph) :  
... save time due to the prevention of congestion.  
  
Best wishes
@Veranda  
Hello there. I see that you're new here. Welcome to the forum! Let me provide you with writing feedback on your essay.  
  
First and foremost, try to create a more no-fuss tone when you're writing. Remember that exaggerating and adding too many details (see your first paragraph) do not necessarily help you because you'll be unable to detail out other portions of the text. Try to keep your writing as balanced as possible.  
  
Remember to also create more dyanism in your writing all throughout. Always write with intention. It would so be helpful to mix up various thoughts and opinions, curating a more enhanced approach to writing.  
  
Best of luck as always.
## Harmful Effects of Junk Food

  
  
*Junk food is damaged to health. Some people think education is a solution while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.*  
  
The excessive consumption of junk food has been the subject of debate. Some people argue that raising awareness of fast food's detrimental effects is a viable solution. Others claim that this opinion is of no value. In this essay, each viewpoints will be discussed and critically evaluated before a final conclusion is drawn.  
  
Firstly, with the advent of mass media, the dissemination of drawbacks of overeating junk food can be ubiquitous and prevalent. People can also have easily access to the information through the orientation programmes by schools and community. Because of that, education is useful and transformative with profound impacts on human behavior. By developing health consciousness, people can enrich their knowledge about the harmful effects of packaged food. Once they are fully aware, they will inspire to take actions. They prioritize the nutritious and healthy meals by consuming food which is rich in vitamins. Therefore, fast food consumption is in decline.  
  
However, opponents argue that education fails to produce a desirable outcome for following reasons. To begin with, in modern society, people tend to be pressed for time as a result of stresses and strains at work. Thus, proper home-cooked meals are impossible, instead, convenience food is an alternative choice for people to eat at the workforce. Moreover, people's decision is another contributing factor. For some people, unhealthy food seems appealing to them although they know this food is at the expense of physical fitness. Because consuming packaged food excessively is a deeply-ingrained habit, endeavors to change may be of no use. Besides, action is a slow process so during the procedure of healthy habit, many people decide to give up and the desire to change is resistant.  
  
In conclusion, junk food is in the detriment of people's health. In my opinion, I strongly with the latter one and some proactive measures should be taken to tackle the problem.
@Cay nho  
Hello there. Thanks for being back to the forum. I hope to provide you with writing feedback that'll be helpful for your endeavors.  
  
First and foremost, be cautious of the composition of your messages. Ensure that you are consistent with your content to enable you to relay meaning clearly. This also includes ensuring that the tone of your language contains clarity and formality. For instance, if you merged the second and third sentence of your first paragraph, you'll come up with a more concise input on the essay.  
  
Try to also incorporate more proper transitions between your phrases. When a sentence has become more lengthy than it should be, try to structure your content a little bit more.  
  
Best of luck as always.
## the number of conferences hosted in some capital cities

  
  
**Topic: The graph shows the information about international conferences in 3 capital cities in 1980-2010. Summarize the information and make comparisons where relevant.**  
  
The line graph illustrates the data in three capital cities in terms of the number of international conferences during the period of 1980-2010  
  
Overall, the number of such conferences in city A and city B dropped over the years, while the figures of city C witnessed the opposite until 2000.  
  
In 1980, there were 35 and 30 conferences in city A and city B respectively. After 5 years the difference in figures was approximately 7 conferences and both experienced a minor increase in 1990. Between 1980 and 1990, the number of international conferences in city C rose substantially from zero to 20 conferences. This number continued to climb and met the figure of city B at 25 in 1995.  
  
More conferences were hosted in city C after 1995, while in city A and B fewer took place. The number of conferences in these two cities when through some fluctuations whereas the figure of city C peaked at 35 in 2000. After 2005 the data of all three cities followed the downward trend.  
  
*
Hi,  
  
1. You will have to focus on adding subordinate clauses on your essay, without which you will loose marks.  
2. You could add more adjectives/adverbs to show the fluctuations in the graph. For example - use words like rapidly, significantly, widely, slightly, etc  
3. Lastly, for body paragraphs show a trend or for each city in this case. For example - 1. upward trend / 2. downward trend / 3. fluctuations or 1. City A 2. City B 3. City C.  
  
Hope this is clear  
  
-Stella
@nimbus2k2  
Hello there!  
  
I hope you're doing well. Thank your consistently being part of the forum. We hope you've found all of the feedback necessary for your learning.  
  
Firstly, I agree with the prior comment stating that you need to work on incorporating more adjectives throughout your essay. This will help you curate a more in-depth analysis on the graph rather than merely mentioning everything out loud. If you do this, you'll have more than mere statements of what's already readily available in your writing.  
  
Try to also incorporate the right punctuation and pauses in your writing. It is critical for you to add a comma after declaring dates, for instance. Just keep in mind that, if you feel the need to pause, it usually requires at the very least a comma.  
  
Best of luck as always.
Title:  
## UNIVERSITIES SHOULD ACCEPT EQUAL NUMBERS OF MALE AND FEMALE STUDENTS IN EVERY SUBJECT

  
  
*To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words*  
  
Some people believe there should be same chances for both genders to get post-graduate studies. The other group think that is an awful idea as number of boys are less than girls and with having equal-number rule, there won't be any free competition between participants.in my view there should be equal chances for both men and women to enter to universities.  
  
Some scientists believe that we start to learn how to treat opposite sex and most of the times find our partners in universities so it is important to be equal number of both sex in the atmosphere that this education complete without any trouble. As we mention one trouble in this area we can say: If there are not enough of any of these two sex the other one will have problem in having chance to encounter or make relationships with it.  
  
The other reason that make me think it is better to have equal number of girls and boys in universities I can say that it is not fear that many boys get lost in way of making money or there are some rules that some majors are dedicated more to boys and girls have less chance to enter. I believe we have to pass a law that claims every gender can enter in any major in equal numbers.  
  
In conclusion, it can be said that chance of having post graduate studies should be distributed equally, As there would be chance for everyone to study whatever they like and learn how to have effective relationships with other sex or maybe find a good partner for life.
I'll try my best to help you. Your essay has quite a lot mistakes, especially too much repetiitons in both words and structures. For instance:  
  
-... there should be same chances for both genders  
-there should be equal chances for ...  
-As there would be chance for ...  
- there are some rules that some majors  
You should replace it with another words such as "opportunities" or "prospect", "occasion"  
  
Another thing is that you should learn more about paraphrasing the sentences and try to use different kind of structures.  
Ex: "Some scientist believe that" can change to "It is evident that" or "It is believed that"  
  
You also need to write in a formal way.  
-"The other reason that make me think" can change to "To my extent", "From my point of view" or "In my opinion".  
- "As we mention one trouble in this area we can say:" --> This is only using for speaking sessions.  
  
Besides, there are some incorrect grammar usage, like "... it is not fear that many" or "... in the atmosphere that this education complete ..." (I can't barely understand@@)
@tinapakshad1  
Hello there. Welcome to the forum. I'll try my best to provide you with writing feedback.  
  
Firstly, try to focus on building formal texts instead of relaying information blatantly. Doing so will help you create more dimension in your writing. For instance, don't say "the other group" as the tone of language can appear to be informal. Try to say that it's a contrasting ideation as this would have a more academic tone.  
  
Furthermore, it is quite noticeable how you have lengthy sentences. Try to make concise your thoughts to create more substance in the long-run. This will also help you save space in your writing.  
  
Best of luck as always.
## WORK AND TECHNOLOGY

  
  
*There are more workers to work from home and more students to study from home. This is because computer technology is more and more easily accessible and cheaper. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?*  
  
Over the last few years, of the most famous trends for working and studying styles in many parts of the world is working form home and learning distance. The demand for an increase in the number of employees and students are seeking to enroll in distance learning courses as well as telecommuting due to current technological advances. In this essay, I will provide the beneficial effects and the drawbacks of this trend.  
  
To start with, both e-learning and online working offer a great degree of flexibility. The main reason that people are of this opinion is this enables workers and students to work and learn at their pace and unwind any time. In this case, because of the flexible schedule which brings some effective benefits, is reducing for the commuting time from home to the office or school instead of paying for transportation fees. Furthermore, it would also be advantageous to save a lot of money for online learning and working many tasks at the same time. The potential advantages of high-technology can deal with this situation for employees and students. If there is a requirement of professionals with specific skills, it can be experienced professionals from interacting and investigating by using the recorded video and communicating in social networks for some specific job such as accountant, computer engineer or learning foreign languages.  
  
However, the potentially harmful effects of abusing high-tech are becoming more serious. Initially, a flexible schedule may reduce the motivation of students and make lower productivity as a predicting result. Indeed, online working and learning need a plan in step by step that worker and students must follow carefully to make a progress of developing and a higher result. In other words, the detrimental drawback of abusing digital world also lead to the decreasing contact between employees and management board and the interaction between students and teachers. As a result, this cause will make the misunderstanding from each other because of the lack of contact and communication. For enhance, students can not ask all their questions and miss the supports from teachers if they don't concentrate on the lessons and the observing from the teacher.  
  
Although the potentially harmful effects of using high-technology are likely to happen, I would like to support that the more workers and students are using the beneficial functions of the digital world, the better they can improve their skills and results.**TOPIC IS WORK AND TECHNOLOGY.**
@ThuanPhat  
Hello there. Welcome to the forum! I hope you find the feedback here to be beneficial for your writing endeavors.  
  
First and foremost, try to make concise your sentences to ensure that your structure is more discernable. For instance, notice how your introductory paragraph could be improved through this. If you can do so, you'll be able to squeeze in more substantive information throughout your written text.  
  
I would recommend improving your essay by incoporating firmer and more concrete examples. This will also help you illustrate without overexplaining. If you do this, you'll be able to curate more meaningful content. Try to apply this to your second paragraph.  
  
Be cautious as well of small slip-ups in your language due to inconsistent grammar usage. It would be better if you can make constant your usage of words.  
  
Best of luck as always.