dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
## Nowadays many people have to work in longer hours. What are the reasons and effects?

  
  
In recent years, the advent of technology has significantly influenced to humans' life. Therefore, to keep pace with cutting-edge inventions, people seemingly have to work in longer hour than they did before. There are diverse reasons and effects have been expressed.  
  
Apparently, this phenomenon is caused by three main reasons. Firstly, property prices are higher than ever, and without help, it would be impossible for many people to pay a deposit and a mortgage. Secondly, people seem to be more ambitious nowadays, and they want to provide a better quality of life for their families. Thirdly, the appearence of new technological innovations requires humans to study and work harder to know how to control and make uses of them in an effective way.  
  
Having to work in a long-tern has two obvious impacts on humans' life such as physical and mental health. As for physical health, spending hours sitting at offices or carrying overweight can make our bodies exhaust. It is the lack of sleeping time that is responsible for having headache, losing feelings control,... People who do not sleep enough may usually be angry with everything around them. As a result, working in a long time brings many prevention to normal life.  
  
In conclusion, it is undisputed that the expansion of technology is the main reason to make people spend most their time working. In addition, if we want to improve our health, we should take more exercise, participate in sports instead of working in a long period.
In recent years, the advent of technology has significantly influenced to humans' life.  
This claim has no direct relationship to the question and required discussion. It should not be present in the restatement nor opinion presentation. This is a personal opinion unrelated to the discussion requirement and will cause a lowering of the sectional score.  
  
There are diverse reasons and effects have been expressed.  
You fail to respond to the question. Provide a discussion outline in statement form. 1 or 2 topics for each. This will prove that you analyzed the qquestions and discussion requirements thus, boosting the score for this section.  
  
The reasons and effects provided are plentiful but, these lack valid explanation development in the sense that it does not have proper examples and supporting explanations. The presentation is not cohesive enough to provide a convincing series of reasons.  
  
ontrol,...  
review punctuation usage rules. 2 cannot be used simultaneously. This in a grammar accuracy failure.
## the percentage of women and men who passed their driving test

  
  
The chart reperesents the amount of males and females in particularly country passing their driving test during a 30 year period from 1980 to 2010  
It is clear that the percentage of women who passed the test dominated while males in 1980 who succeeded in driving test had the lowest amount  
  
In the year 2000, the proportion of women had driving license reached a peak of nearly 70% while the figure for those in 2010 followed by 65%. Meanwhile the amount of women passed the driving test in 1980 just account for approximate 50%  
  
By comparing with male groups, in a 10 year period from 2000 to 2010, males who passed the test had the same amount made up just under 50%. On the other hand, in the year 1980 males had the worse results when the rate of success in passing driving test nearly 30% while the amount of males had driving license in 1990 just under 40%
First time Task 1 writers tend to limit their word count to exactly or just a little over the word count. They do not realize that writing less than 175-200 words will result in a severe scoring limitation on their part. As examinees are scored on individual scoring considerations which are used to award the overall score, it is best to write more to help increase the scoring pitch per section. Just don't go over 200 words.  
  
Truth be told, the analytical paragraphs still have room to space in terms of more logical analysis statements. The writer failed to fully develop the report analysis for reasons known only to him.  
  
There are also word choice errors ( amount = number) that affect the clarity of the statement. There is a lack of proper punctuation usage as well. The writer is not placing full stop marks (period) to signify the close and end of the paragraphs. since this is a repeated error, it will result in a failed GRA score. A severe deduction in the overall score at the end.
## benefits and drawbacks of working remotely

  
  
Nowadays, because of the adverse consequences of the Covid-19 pandemics, telecommuting becomes more popular than ever before. In my opinion, there are several benefits but also potential drawbacks. In this essay, I will weigh up both the upside and downside of working at home.  
  
As people work at their homes, there are some pros that can be mentioned. First of all, working at home means people could eliminate their commute, which allows maximum use of time. Furthermore, people need to manage time responsibly and rationally to fulfil the work requirement, therefore, it will stimulate autonomy and independence in jobs. There is also a chance for people telecommuting that they can have more time to gather family.  
  
On the other hand, the house is where people find comfort and satisfaction. With the freedom to move around and take breaks whenever the mood arises so that it is difficult to focus on job tasks being done. Opposed to that, it is stress and pressure that the workplace's atmosphere brings, which will motivate people to work harder and productive. People who telecommute are more likely to isolate themselves due to the majority of time spent working independently. Beyond, staying at home for a long time leading to the electrical and water time usage significantly rise results in an increase in the cost of living.  
  
In summary, although working at home can save time and be more convenient, it also has the existing limitations. Thus, people need to take measures to mitigate these negative aspects.
because of the adverse consequences of the Covid-19 pandemics  
Do not make reference to current events in your restatement. The original topic is not connected to this presentation so this topic inclusion will lower the task score. The prompt restatement must be brief and refer only to a rewording of the original topic, without added information coming from the writer.  
  
In my opinion  
Your opinion is not deemed necessary in this discussion. In fact, you are not even prodded to provide it by the discussion guideline. This essay is a general comparison rather than single opinion essay. You misunderstoodthe writing instruction for this prompt.  
  
The first reasoning paragraph is good but, could use a better discussion presentation. More supporting information would help bring a solid advantage discussion to the front.  
  
The second reasoning statement is badly explained. There are too many topics presented in the paragraph, none of which are properly developed to create a convincing like of thought. The coherence and cohesiveness is faulty and will pull down the overall score. The conclusion is an acceptable presentation.
## summarise the information - the pie and the bar chart

  
  
The given bar chart depicts the ratio of the most expected films based on types for men and women, and the pie chart indicates the number of ticket sales for each type in the USA, in 2010.  
  
Overall, it can be seen that from the bar chart, for men, action films were the most popular while romantic comedies films were the best choice for women. From the pie chart, action films accounted for nearly 50 percent of ticket sales, only five percent being other types not listed in the chart.  
  
In detail, as regards action films, 40 percent of men said they like this, while only 25 percent of women supposed that they enjoyed action types. By contrast, six times as many women liking romantic comedies as men, at 30 percent and five percent respectively. The number of men and women who liked comedies and western films was equal, at 20 percent and ten percent. Fifteen percent of men were interested in the thriller, whereas only ten percent of women liked this. In science fiction films, the number of men who liked this type was twice higher than the number of women, at ten and five percent in turn.  
  
Looking at the pie chart, action films sold the most tickets, at 40 percent, making it significantly more common than comedies, at 24 percent. Romantic comedies came next, at 12 percent, while thriller was slightly less popular at ten percent. Bottom of the list was other types of films with only five percent of ticket sales.  
  
*
Every sentence should contain only one idea or 2 related ideas. When faced with 2 images of differing content / descriptive subjects, the writer should present each image and its related subject seperately. That means, the summary should have 2 seperate description sentences rather than just 1. Do this for clarity purposes. The sentence structure for the image insuction should not be used or repeated in the exam takers version. It is not to be used as a template in the test presentation.  
  
For the trending statement, the implied measurements should be mentioned. Actual data measurements should be saved for the actual report. So, the presentation for the first image is right but, the second image is incorrect as it mentions actual data already.  
  
In the actual report, the writer should use a uniform numerical data presentation. If you start with numbers then use that throughout. That would be ideal since it makes the report easier and faster to read. It is not recommended that you spell out the numbers for speed and writing accuracy.  
  
The report is acceptable out can use some formatting changes. The clarity score will be helped if my suggestions are applied by the exam taker in future essays..
## Expenditure on Consumer Goods in 2010

  
  
The expenditure on consumed goods is demonstrated in the chart. The data was collected in France and the UK in 2010.  
  
Overall, the spending on cars was in the UK was of greatest value among all statistics while the opposite was true for the expense in perfume in the UK.  
  
The number of France in cars was 400 thousand pounds while that of the UK was 50 thousand higher. As a computer, the quantities of Franch and the UK stood at about 370 thousand and 350 thousand pounds respectively.  
  
Meanwhile, the volume of cameras in France reached 150 thousand pounds, which was significantly lower than in the UK at 350 thousand pounds. In terms of books, the figure for the UK added up to dramatically over 400 million pounds in comparison with 300 million pounds for that France. As for perfume, the figure for France and UK were calculated at respectively 200 million and 140 million.
demonstrated in the chart  
What type of chart? consider that this is a summary overview. As such, it must help the examiner create a mental picture of the summarized data. That means, the report must clearly identify the image type through the specific image title. The identification is not as accurate as it should be for the task. It will limit the scaring potential of this paragraph.  
  
There is also no consumer goods list provided. That quick list is necessary leading into the trending statement.  
  
~~the~~ spending on cars ~~was~~ in the UK was of greatest value  
The first cancellation is because the sentence does not require the use of a definite article. The second strike through is because of the wrong use of a verb. clearly the student needs to get better at using definite articles and verbs.  
  
The essay has several other grammar will violations that will cause a failing GRA and overall score. Please work on your sentence writing skills and review your grammar lessons again. Specifically, in the areas pointed out here.
## financial lesson in the curriculum

  
  
Financial management has always been such an imperative but also stressful objective for many people, especially young adult who is likely to be fraught with the troublesome issues in finance once they are on the threshold of life. Thus, there comes a sentiment of involving the education about economic survival for present-day students in the schools' curriculum; meanwhile, some people vigorously oppose this idea. As a supporter of the former, I will explain the reasons here.  
  
Firstly, it appears plainly that an independent life will certainly necessitate the ability of well financial management. Since it seems that current youngsters are making for achieving self-reliance, being early equipped with financial savvy is one of the top priorities for their future preparation. To illustrate, when children are taught how to save, manage money and develop a positive attitude towards financing, they may find it less troublesome when confronting financially unexpected life changes. Moreover, not having an early mindset about finance might establish bad habits in childhood that may lead to worse problems as they grow up.  
  
Secondly, notwithstanding its benefits, financial knowledge could be obscure to many students if it were not a must-have part at school. Even though financial know-how can be achieved throughout the youngsters' daily life or through university; however, it is not certain that every student can have a chance to experience it. For instance, to those students who study in technical faculty, subjects like finance are not imparted at all.  
  
By way of conclusion, I fully endorse the request for the school to have the financial lesson in the curriculum, considering its necessity for youngsters' future life and the insurance that it can be reached by every student.
The prompt paraphrase and opinion paragraph has deviated from the original topic and required response format. The restatement should not be more than 2 sentences, with an emotional, measured response as the final sentence in this paragraph.The error was created because the writer gave personal insights immediately into the topic rather than just repeating the original presentation in his own words. He confused the restatement with a reasoning paragraph. This is therefore, an avoidable error. As for the opinion statement, the lack of conviction and strength in the writer's point of view led to an altered response format. Providing an unacceptable answer to the question. Both errors will lead to a non-passing task score.  
  
I fully endorse the request for the school to have the financial lesson in the curriculum  
There was no such reference to this topic in the original prompt. Though the reasoning paragraphs fit the discussion, the writer's tendency to alter the original topic and discussion requirements are what will cause the failing score.
## data on salt intake among americans

  
  
The bar chart compares two genders in different age groups in terms of salt consumption in America in 2000.  
  
Overall, it can be seen that males were the main group who consumed a large amount of salt. It is also notable that people of both genders aged 20-39 used a high quantity of salt in comparison with other age groups.  
  
In 2000, boys consumed a large amount of salt, at around 2200 milligrams per day while the quantity of salt eaten by girls was as half as that of boys. Subsequently, boys between 6 and 19 years old also took the lead, at around 3,500 and 4000 milligrams respectively. Meanwhile, the same figure was witnessed in salt intake in girls age groups 6-11 and 12-19.  
  
Male and female people aged 20-39 consumed the highest quantity of salt on an average day, at 4500 and 3100 milligrams respectively. While men who were over 40 continued to use a large amount of salt, females over 60 used a recommended adult salt intake, at 2,500 each day.
both genders aged 20-39  
When writing the trending statement, avoid referring to definite information from the image. If the males consumed the most, then inform the reader about who consumed the least as well. It is all about the evident highs and lows of the image measurements. The trending statement should only discuss estimates or directional growth. Analysis presentations referring to actual clata does not have a place in this paragraph presentation.  
  
Male and female people  
The gender sequences wold are singular in number count. However, people is a general gender plural reference. So there is a numerical reference disagreement in this phrase. An S has to be added to the end of the singular gender reference to create the plural forms.
## energy production by source

  
  
The charts illustrate the different 5 categories of sources of energy produced by France in the course of two years, namely coal, gas, petro, nuclear and other energy, starting in 1995 and the second year is 2005.  
  
Overall, it is immediately obvious that gas and coal are the major kinds of energy consumed in France, and other sources of energy generated the minimum amount of energy in France. It can be seen that an upward trend was experienced in gas, coal, nuclear and other sources of energy with the exception of petro. In addition, it is clear that coal occupied the first positions and other kinds of energy reach the lowest record.  
  
To begin with, the major source of energy: coal, standing at 29.80 percent. Then, this figure moved upward to 30.93 percent. Not only coal can be seen, but a similar trend also witnessed in other energy (9.10 percent), nuclear (10.10 percent), and gas (30.31 percent), which reached an upturn, too. Petro stood at 29.27 percent and then reached a downward to 19.55 percent.
The number of charts along with its varied information focus should be spelled out in the summary. Proper differentiation of image content must be provided to help the reader gain a better summarized understanding of the facts. A thorough review of the paragraph shows the lack of proper information presentation per image. It does not address the paragraph requirements in a passing manner.  
  
The writer has under-developed the report. With 2 images available for comparison, the writer should have written more comparative and analytical paragraphs.The requirement for 2 image reports is a 4 paragraph presentation. The correct format needs 2 analytical paragraphs. This presentation only has 1 reporting paragraph. One analpis and comparison presentation per image.
***Some people believe that it is the responsibility of individuals to take care of their own health. Others believe that the Government should make sure that their citizens are healthy.***  
  
## Discuss both views and give your opinion?

  
  
The mass is facing the dilemma of whether or not the authority is responsible for caring for citizens' health and diet. While some people disagree with the idea that looking after their own health and diet is only an individuals' duty, I hold a belief that both governments and residents should contribute to improving their health condition.  
  
It is undeniable that health is mainly determined by each individual, and the government merely provides them with the best advice and method to improve their health. Moreover, eating nutritious food and doing exercise regularly can enhance residents' health and avoid a number of illnesses. These days, there is a rise in the elderly starting doing aerobics or going jogging in the parks, which is essential in maintaining a healthy body. In addition, an unhealthy diet can cause various problems such as heart disease or diabetes. For that reason, the citizens should eat more vegetables, minerals and reduce the amount of fast food they consume.  
  
On the other hand, authority plays a crucial role in improving the health and diet of people. To be more specific, the government can construct more hospitals and reduce health care costs. As regards children, the government can restrict junk food on schools' menus and encourage them to do physical activities more. Furthermore, many developing countries have imposed a ban on using pesticides in planting to make sure that the citizens were provided with clean and healthy food. Additionally, there is the requirement that food packaging show the food's nutritional content. Hence, either individuals or government is capable of changing health conditions and diet positively.  
  
In conclusion, there are good reasons why people are liable for improving their health and diet, but in my opinion government assistance is partially important.
The mass  
The reference word is wrong. Mass refers to a body of coherent matter, usually of indefinite shape and often of considerable size. The phrase is - a definite reference /subject such as mass media, mass unemployment, mass murder, or mass shooting, in reference to a large group of people. However, the word" masses" refers to a definite large group of people, which is probably the reference point you wanted to use. Such errors create GRA deductions along with LR inaccuracies.  
  
There are 2 keywords that indicate the comparison point in each paragraph prior to your opinion. Explain the reasons behind the public support for  
  
Some people  
and   
  
Others believe  
in relation to   
  
YOUR OPINION  
All I am reading here is a general reference to your personal opinion based on the public topic but, not the public opinions and supporting views.  
  
A more appropriate 3 paragraph reasoning presentation was needed for the proper comparison analysis and personal opinion consideration. While the format is incorrect, the writer does show an understanding of the topic.
1. I think your thesis statement in the first paragraph should not just have your opinion but also the reason behind it. The reasons can then be effectively elaborated in the following paragraphs.  
  
2. The second paragraph strongly disagrees with your opinion and instead is in favor of what you are disagreeing with. Please make sure all of your content is in line with your thesis statement.  
  
3. Please be careful about the logic you are trying to explain, the government can do multiple things like help educate the people, provide training, mandate nutrition information to new mothers, etc apart from just opening hospitals. I recommend outlining ideas roughly before actually writing the whole thing.  
  
Good luck!