dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
I will apreciate every kind of recommendation in order to improve my writing skills.  
  
The bar chart provides information about the changes in average house prices in five major cities during the period between 1990 and 2007 compared with the average price of the houses in 1989.  
  
It is clear to see that, the most signifficant went downs in the period betweeen 1990 and 1995 were experienced in Tokyo and London. The both saw a diminish in prices by approximately 8 %., which was considerably higher than the decrease in New York, which was of about 5%. On the other hand, both Madrid and Frankfurt house prices were an object of slight increases, as went ups of respectevely 2% and 3 % have been observed during the given period.  
  
During the followin period, the prices in London have exceeded by more than 10 %. New York's and Madrid's prices were also an objects of increases, but even though they were not as big as in London, the prices there went up by about 5% compared to the rates from 1989. A small increase took place in Frankfurt, but the only actual decrease was observed in Tokyo, where the prices diminished by 5%.  
  
At the end of the day, in the period between 1990 and 1995 a few decreases were observed, in combine with a couple of minor went ups, whereas during the second period the prevalent trend was of increasings, with only one went down obrseved throught out the period.  
  
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**The chart and table below show customer satisfaction levels in the US with airlines and aspects of air travel in 1999, 2000 and 2007.**  
  
Both pictures give information about survey results in airlines customer satisfaction levels and passengers' satisfaction for specific of the flying experience. This survey covered United States in 1999, 2000, and 2007. Overall, customers had a high satisfaction for the job the nation's major airlines were doing which was over these years more than a half of all costumers were satisfied. The highest satisfaction aspects were came from courtesy of flight attendants.  
  
The bar chart illustrates passengers who enjoy the airlines and others that feeling bad. From 1999 to 2007, the number of satisfied costumer increased gradually. It was started from 65 percent then grew by 4 percent in 2000 and reached a peak at 72 percent in 2007. Meanwhile, costumers who dissatisfied showed downward trend. There was a slight decreased over those years until in 2007 dropped to 24 percent.  
  
The table shows specific aspects of air travel experience. The biggest percentage satisfaction came from courtesy of flight attendant which hit a high on 92 percent in 2007. The lowest came from comfort of seats, which was just started in 2007 and got 47 percent of passengers' satisfaction. The next aspects are courtesy of check in/gate agent, price of tickets, and schedules which did not have significant improvement between 1999 and 2007.  
  
   
  
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The graph depicts changes in the proportion of visitors who came to some attractive places in Brighton over 20-year period, measured by percentage. Overall, Pavilion and Pier showed an increase while Art Gallery and Festival experienced a decrease in the end of the period. It also can be seen that Pavilion sit in the first place in the timeframe shown.  
  
To begin with, Pavilion and Pier stood at approximately 23% and 10 % respectively. Although the pattern of Pavilion rose significantly and reached a peak of roughly 48% in 1995, the highest of four other levels, it was also followed by a sudden drop to virtually 31% in the end of the period. On the other hand, Pier's line fluctuated until 2005 and took over Art Gallery at the same year, then ended at around 23% in 2010.  
  
In contrast, there was a fall for both Art Gallery and Festival. Firstly, a rise is shown by Art Gallery over the following 5 years, but its level then hit a low to just under 10% in 2010, the lowest than other levels. Meanwhile, a gradual fall is experienced by Festival, and its pattern grew slightly from 1995 to 2000 to hit around 28%, then it leveled off.  
  
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I would be really grateful if you could correct it thanks  
  
**DESCRIPTION OF A PERSON**  
  
I have a friend named Baran he is 14 years old and we know us since we were 1-year-old.  
He is about 1.70m tall and 65 kg heavy. Baran has an oval face and big brown eyes. His mouth is big but his lips are small and his hair is brown and short but when it's to log it became curly. He is very normal. Baran always wear t-shirts and jeans. When he meets someone the first time he is very shy but when he knows someone better he is really funny and then he has a big mouth. His dream is to become a professional Gamer because of this he plays a lot and when I say a lot then I mean really a looooot. He isn't very active, he loves to sit somewhere and play videogames or watch people who play videogames. He's a good friend because he has always time for his friends and when you motivate him he can be really active too. I'm happy to have a friend like him and I hope our friendship still hold very long.  
  
thx for all answers
Hello Samuel22122001,  
Here is my point of view you can refer,  
  
He is 14 years old and we have known~~us~~each other since we were 1-year-old boys .  
He is about 1.70 meter tall and 65 kilogram heavy.  
... his lips are ~~small~~thin. Also,~~and~~ his hair (...) but when ~~it's to log~~it is too long, it ~~became~~become curly.  
Baran always wears t-shirts and jeans. When he meets someone at the first time he is very shy ~~but when~~until he knows someone better, he is really funny and (then he has a big mouth ??? what do you mean?) he will talk so much .  
  
... become a professional Gamer ~~because of this~~. Therefore, he plays a lot and whenever I advice him to give up playing games, he only keeps silent~~I say a lot then I mean really a looooot~~ . He ~~isn't very~~is in active. In fact, He loves (...) and plays videogames or watchs other people who play videogames. However, he is~~He's~~ a good friend because ...  
  
~~I'm~~I am happy to have ...  
~~and~~ I hope our friendship has been holding .  
Sincerely!
The bar chart and table illustrate satisfaction levels of passengers in the United State with airlines and which aspect makes them satisfied in there selected years 1999, 2000, and 2007. Overall, it can be seen that, majority of passengers were satisfied in the rest of years and courtesy of flight attendants was the highest percentage of satisfaction of the flying experience.  
  
To begin with, in the three-year period, there was a significant increase in satisfaction of costumers and the highest percentage of satisfaction was in 2007, 72 percent. However, fortunately, people feeling dissatisfied were more and more dramatic decrease and the lowest was in the following year at 24%.  
  
On the other data, courtesy and price experienced a slight rise although courtesy of flight attendants was the majority aspect all years selected. Schedule was another aspect having an increase, yet in following year, there was a level off at 79 percent. Interestingly, a comfortable seat was an important aspect in 2007 in which 47 percent people chose this as an aspect, compared to two years earlier when there was no one choosing it.  
  
**(183 words)**  
  
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*satisfaction*
***Hello, Mr.@ibe13 ^\_^  
May I give you some corrections on your summary :)***  
... makes them satisfied in ~~there~~ =>**their**selected years ...  
Overall, it can be seen that (,)=>(incorrect comma) majority of passengers ...  
  
... increase in satisfaction of ~~costumers~~ =>**customers** and the highest percentage ...  
  
**Keep Writing :)**
WRITING SCORING #4 CAMBRIDGE BOOK 5.5 - 6.5 TASK 1  
  
These two figures provide information about how much customer was satisfied with aircraft service in United States in 1999, 2000, and 2007. While the bar chart gives in general, the table displays more specific using some indicators. Overall, during the eight years period, customers felt more convenient with the plane service. In contrast, their disappointment level decrease slightly each year. Besides that, flight attendants' aspects became the highest percentage among the others.  
  
It can be seen that the percentage of satisfaction in 1999 was already doubled of the dissatisfied, 65 percent and 32 percent respectively. Then, satisfied percentage increased into 72 percent in 2007, made it tripled because of the fall of dissatisfied at 24 percent in the same year.  
  
The result of the bar chart was similar with the table that almost all of indicators rose gradually each year. The biggest point was shown by flight attendants courtesy at 92 percent, while the lowest is seat's comfortable at 47 percent. The other aspects such as courtesy of check in / gate agents, price of tickets, and scheduled, placed second, third, and fourth position respectively.  
  
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Hi Faiz, below are my thoughts for your analysis.  
  
- ~~These two figures~~Below are representations of the~~provide~~ information  
- ~~about~~on how ~~much customer was~~ satisfied  
- are customers with aircraft service in ...  
- In general,~~While~~ the bar chart gives ~~in~~a general perspective ,  
- the table displays more specific information using some indicators.  
- Overall, during the eight year~~s~~ period,  
- ~~In contrast~~On the contrary , their  
- Besides that, flight attendants~~' aspects~~performance became the highest ...  
  
There you have it Faiz, as you can see there's still a lot more modification needed to be done in order to make your analysis stronger. For future writing reference, please make sure that you choose the right words to associate in your sentences as this affects the accuracy of your analysis.
Hallo.. here my suggestion for you.. hope it helps..  
  
1. These two figures provide THE information about how ~~much~~ (*the proportion*) *of* customer *WHO* was satisfied (...) in THE United States ...  
  
2.Overall, during the eight years period , ( i think there only 3 years, 1999, 2000, and 2007)  
  
3. customers felt more *~~convenient~~**satisfied* with the plane service.  
  
4. Besides ~~that~~ , flight attendants' aspects ...  
  
Good luck!
***The chart and table below show customer satisfaction levels in the US with airlines and aspects of air travel in 1999, 2000 and 2007.***  
  
The bar chart provides information about how satisfy customers used the service from nation's major airlines in 1999, 2000, and 2007. The table shows several factors that affected customers' satisfaction of the flying experience. Overall, passengers' satisfaction had an upward trend during the period. Courtesy of the flight attendant was the most aspect that affected customers' convenience. There was an upward trend too in each aspect each year.  
  
To start with, there was 65% of satisfaction level of passenger using the airlines and the dissatisfaction reached 32% in 1999. In the following year, passengers 'convenience increased to 60% while the inconvenience decreased to 29%. The percentage of the customers' happiness peaked at 72. It was followed by declining of unhappiness to 24 percent in 2007.  
  
There were five aspects that affected passengers' satisfaction of the flying experience based on Gullup polls. Satisfaction of customers was mostly influenced by courtesy of flight attendant between 1999 and 2007 from 88 to 92 percent. The third larger factor was ticket prices that increased by 20% during the period. Courtesy of check-in agents and flight schedules had the insignificant number of changing which the increasing number around 1-2 percent each year. The comfort seat did not influence mood of passenger in 1999 and 2000. However, in 2007, it had 47% of satisfaction level. 219w  
  
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*table and chart*
Hai anna.. here my suggestion for you..  
  
1. The bar chart provides THE information about how satisfy ...  
  
2.MEANWHILE The table shows several factors ...  
  
3. There was an upward trend too in each aspect each year.  
  
*It was not an upward trend but in one part there is a slight decrease in the last year in 2007. Just check you table again!*  
  
4. It still looks like shopping list in second paragraph :  
  
*To start with, there was 65% of satisfaction level of passenger ...*  
  
Better you make a comparison here. The highest the lowest and many others  
  
I hope it helps. Good luck
Hi Nur, below are my thoughts on your essay and I hope they are valuable to your revision.  
  
- The bar chart provides information ~~about~~on how  
- ~~satisfy~~satisfied the customers are in using~~used~~ the service  
- from the nation's major airlines in 1999, 2000, and 2007.  
- The table shows several factors that ~~affected~~affects the customer~~s'~~ satisfaction of ...  
- Overall, passengers~~'~~( the word "passengers", does not need an apostrophe, it is the plural form of the word "passenger" ) satisfaction  
- Courtesy ~~of~~from the flight attendant  
- ~~was~~is the most important aspect that affected customer~~s' convenience~~satisfaction .  
- There ~~was~~is an upward trend too ~~in~~for each aspect each year.  
  
- To start with, there ~~was~~is ( you are analyzing a graph so you have to choose the present tense and not the past tense )  
- It ~~was~~is followed by a declining of unhappiness to 24 percent in 2007.  
  
There you have it Nur, as you can see, the focus of this modification is your sentence construction and there is definitely some enhancements that needs to be done.
**The chart and table below show customer satisfaction levels in the US with airlines and aspects of air travel in 1999, 2000, and 2007.**  
  
The chart gives information about the percentage of customer's satisfaction rates about the result of work by the nation's major airlines in the US. The table illustrates about the number of several factors of the flying experience caused satisfaction. All of data are covered in 1990, 2000 and 2007. Overall, it can be seen that customers satisfaction increased slightly over three-years period and Courtesy of flight attendants became bigger factor of air travel than courtesy of check-in/ gate agents over three-years period, but the different between both aspects did not significant.  
  
In 1999 most of customers happy with airlines which was at 65 percent. After that, in 2000 and 2007 level of satisfaction people rose gradually at 69 percent and 72 percent respectively. Besides that, over three-years period customers who not enjoy with airlines was under 35 percent and it always decreased sharply by three and five percent in 2000 and 2007 particularly.  
  
Courtesy of flight attendants became a greater factor of air travel than courtesy of check- in/ gate agents over three-years period and both of them always increased slightly until 92 percent and 88 percent in 2007 respectively. Besides that, comfort of seats did not became one factor satisfaction of customers in 1999 and 2000, but it became less factor in 2007 and it was under 50 percent.  
  
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*question*
Hello Willy!  
Allow me to give you some suggestions.  
  
The chart gives information about [...] flying experience caused satisfaction.  
It is a good introduction, but it will be better if you make it in one sentence to make it more effective.  
  
Courtesy of flight attendants became bigger factor of air ...  
I think what you mean in this sentence is "the biggest".  
*Courtesy of flight attendants became the biggest factor in air travels than courtesy of check-in/gate agents over three-years period*  
  
Hope it helps you :)
Hi tika! here are my thoughts  
  
Courtesy of flight attendants became bigger factor of air travel than courtesy of check-in/ gate ...  
*wrong data. Courtesy of flight attendants is the highest percentage. be careful when you*  
  
... with airlines which ~~was~~**were** at 65 percent.  
  
~~After that,~~ in 2000 and 2007 level of satisfaction ~~people~~ rose gradually at 69 ...  
  
~~Besides that,~~**However,** over three-years period ...  
  
... attendants became ~~a greater~~**the greatest** factor of air travel ...
HI Wily, below are my thoughts on your essay.  
  
- The chart gives information ~~about~~on the percentage  
- of customer's satisfaction rate~~s about the result of work by~~for the nation's major ...  
- The table illustrates ~~about~~ the number of several factors  
- of the flying experience ~~caused~~that results to satisfaction. - ~~All of data are covered in~~The data covers 1990, 2000 and 2007.  
- ... increased slightly over the three-year~~s~~ period and  
- the Courtesy ~~of~~from the flight attendants became a bigger factor  
- of air travel than the courtesy extended by the~~of~~ check-in/ gate agents over the three-year~~s~~ period, but the ~~different~~difference between both  
- aspects ~~did~~is not that significant.  
  
There you have it Wily, I hope the above remarks are helpful to your revision and I left the last two paragraphs for you to practice editing yourself, following the modifications above.
Hallo wil.. here i give you some corrections.  
  
The chart gives THE information about (...) satisfaction rates ~~about~~ (REPETITIVE) TOWARD the result of work ...  
WHILE, The table illustrates about the ~~number~~ PROPORTION of several factors of the flying experience THAT caused satisfaction.  
... courtesy of check-in/ gate agents ~~over three-years period,~~ but the different ...  
  
Besides ~~that~~ , comfort of seats did (...) but it became less ~~factor~~ in 2007 ~~and~~ . ~~it was under 50 percent.~~just under a half  
  
I hope it helps. Good luck
**To learn effectively, children need to eat healthy meal at school. How true is this statement? Whose responsibility is it to provide food for school children?**  
  
Healthy food is needed by school children to provide their ability to study effectively. Because food consumption is important for children growth. The quality of food will affect children's brain. Both of parents and schools are responsible to maintain children's food every day.  
  
School children use their brain to study at school. They spent at least six hours at school. They must eat to improve their ability to get knowledge. The ingredients of food are matters. For instance, school children need seafood and eggs to provide protein or milk to give calsium to their body or vegetables to make them more healthy. In addition, the way food is cooked become the aspect to make healthy meals. Meals which is cooked cleanly will produce a healthy food. That is the reason why healthy food can help the children learn effectively.  
  
On the other hand, not only their parents but also schools have responsibility to serve healthy food for children. For example, in my experience, my mother always cooked the breakfast for me. But, my mother is a teacher so that she cannot make a lunch for me. That it the reason why i have to eat lunch at school. Unfortunately, my school has a canteen which usually sell the healthy food. The school headmaster always concern about the quality of children's food. That is why my mother can trust school while she cannot give me the healthy food for my consumption. So, when both parents and school concern about children food consumption, children actually will get the healthy food and because of the food, they can study effectively and accept the subject easily. As a result, the continuity of consuming healthy food will affect the long-term effectiveness in learning.  
  
All in all, when both parents and school serve the healthy food for children, they can provide the best quality of the food and ther brain can work as the way what they want.
Hi Ifra, below are my thoughts on your essay.  
  
- School children need to eat Healthy food  
- ~~is needed by school children~~in order to  
- ~~provide~~exhaust their ability to study effectively~~.~~,  
- ~~Because~~ food consumption is important for childrens growth.  
- The quality of food will affect the children's brain.  
- Both ~~of~~ parents and school~~s~~officials are responsible to maintain and make sure that children's eat healthy food every day.  
  
- They ~~spent~~spend at least six hours at school.  
- They must eat to improve their ability to ~~get~~acquire knowledge.  
- The ingredients of food ~~are~~ matters.  
- provide their body with protein or milk to ~~give~~get  
- ~~calsium~~calcium~~to their body or~~as well as vegetables to make them even more healthy.  
- ~~become the~~is as an aspect to consider to make healthy meals.  
  
There you have it Ifra, I hope the above remarks are helpful to your revision. Overall, the corrections are focused on the the choice of words you use in your sentences, they play a crucial part of your essay as this is how your idea come to be realized and understood by your readers.
**To learn effectively, children need to eat a healthy meal at school. How true is this statement ? Whose responsibility is it to provide food for school children?**  
  
Based on statement that 'our bodies cannot be functional if we do not have full nutrition in our bodies' it become one reason why all of people need to eat every day include of children. Not only do children but all of people also need eat a healthy meal to still growing in their life.  
  
All of people agree about we must consume enough food every day to make us have energy to do many daily activities. It becomes a problem for children if they do not have complete nutrition or hungry that they cannot have a good performance and they cannot participant fully to accept all of materials that teachers teach to them. If we compare a kid who has breakfast at home and those who does not have breakfast, they can give different performances. In any case, teachers are role to encourage sense of competition.  
  
On the other hand, working parent just give money to their children to buy some food for breakfast and lunch. If they have two choose that junk food or healthy food, they will choice junk food. So school should consider with meals which are sold in the food court in which healthy food is provided. Besides that, bringing meals from home which is made by mother will be better than buy some food in the canteen for children.  
  
All in all, healthy food will give extra energy for children in the school and help children's bodies which are still growing an establish brain's serve. Schools and parents have essential responsibility to children because both of them are near for them. Personally, I believe that the average food is which is not as well-being as food was the past. Based on my experienced when I am junior high school, when my mother cooked to me brought at the school, I have good health and can focus with the materials which teach by teacher than I bought some food in the food court schools.
Here are my notes for you  
  
... nutrition in our bodies' it ~~become~~**becomes** one reason why all (...) day include ~~of~~ children.  
  
Not only ~~do~~ children but **also** all of people ~~also~~ need **to** eat a healthy meal ...  
  
If they have ~~two~~ a different ~~choose~~**choice** that junk food ...  
*choose is a verb. you should add noun in noun phrase*  
  
Personally, I believe that the average food is which is not as well-being as food was the past.  
*be careful, please add your suggestion in conclusion, not your addition opinion*