dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
You well understood the prompt requirement which is to pick one side, either negative or positive, then defend your stance in the essay. That is not to say that the essay you wrote is perfect. No. It is far from it. It has several grammar related issues that you need to address in your next practice test.  
  
I am not sure if you were paying attention to the way you wrote the essay. You made several spelling mistakes which would definitely lower your GRA score. Your misuse of certain vocabulary will also drag down your LR score. Let's get into specifics.  
  
Spelling:  
developes = develops  
continuotion - continuation  
strees = stress  
adtition = addition  
tomorow = tomorrow  
  
As you can see, there are more than enough spelling mistakes in your presentation to affect the accuracy of your grammar range. So you will definitely not get a passing score in that section of the test.  
  
Now, for the grammar issues:  
  
You need to familiarize yourself with auxiliary word usage so you will not make a mistake when framing your sentences:  
  
... many children have been suffer a... - ... suffer**ing** a...  
Their future is depend on family's education. - Their future depend**s** on family education  
  
There is a noun phrase error as well:  
  
...develops due to many reason = ... due to many reason**S**  
  
There are also lacking action words in your essay such as descriptive verbs pertaining to:  
  
They will against their parent's desire = ... **GO** against...  
  
Avoid using contractions as well:  
  
doesn't = does not  
  
These are only some of the errors that would directly affect your final score, regardless of how well pointed your discussions are in the essay.
## new teachers each year or better the same?

  
  
Some people believe that it is good for students to have the same teacher for several years. Others think students benefit more from having new teachers each year. Which do you think is better? Give specific reasons to support your opinion.  
  
It is often believed that having the same teacher for a few years is a good way for students, while some people prefer having new teachers annually. In my opinion, I think the choices should be relied on each student's apprehension, and I will give my reasons below.  
  
On the one hand, it is nice to have someone studying along for a long-term, they will get to know more about the student's studying style so that they can easily regulate their teaching skills to be suitable for them. If a student is struggled with Spanish, for example, with learning vocabularies, the teacher who she or he knew for years would know exactly which method will work for her or his students, like learning through flashcards instead of a long wordlist. Thanks to that, the student will study effectively with the studying method came up by the teacher who has taught her or him for several years.  
  
On the other hand, I can understand the arguments against having the same teacher for years. The main reason for this view is that some people think that if they changed the teachers for the students every year, the students would acknowledge a range of variety of ideas, and they would therefore accommodate with every kind of lessons in the colleges or in the universities a lot easier and faster, no matter who teaches them.  
  
In conclusion, there are good reasons why the students should have the same teachers for years, but in my opinion, like I said above, it eventually depends on how each individual student absorb the information, however, I personally think it is better to have new teachers each year.
Hi sean,  
Here are my suggestions related to your writing:  
1. "....It is often believed that, ...." i have an alternative way of saying it: It is a commonly held belief that....  
2. **Instead of saying "I think.."**, you can choose one of these to express your opinion:  
Personally, I believe that...  
From my point of view...  
I am convinced that...  
In my opinion...  
In my view...  
3. Also, in the last line of the first paragraph, you can add the brief reason of choosing your opinion.
Your response went off topic. You have only 2 choices for your response. The response should have been based on only the 2 discussion topics presented:  
- it is good for students to have the same teacher for several year  
- students benefit more from having new teachers each year  
  
Your response was never part of the given discussion parameters:  
- I think the choices should be relied on each student's apprehension,  
  
That is an incorrect response. You need to pick a solid side to discuss on the essay based only on the given choices. You changed the discussion parameters with your response and you will lose points because of that. By keeping your actual response for the concluding aspect:  
  
-I personally think it is better to have new teachers each year.  
  
You presented a new discussion topic instead of wrapping up the essay with a concluding summary. This response does not help your essay score based on its placement. It created an open ended instead of a properly concluded essay. You cannot present a new discussion point in the concluding paragraph. You will lose points for not properly summarizing the discussion in the paper at the end of the presentation.  
  
PS. I do not think you meant to use the word apprehension in the presentation. Apprehension is defined as "suspicion or fear especially of future evil : foreboding". Maybe you meant to refer to a student's personal preference, choice, or considerations? I am not exactly sure about what you wanted to say in that paragraph.
**## Some people think that advertising aimed at children should be banned.

  
*To what extent do you agree or disagree?***  
  
A great deal of people take the view that advertisers and marketers must be restricted from grooming the young. I totally agree with this viewpoint.  
  
Firstly, advertisement can result in psychological damages which may affect physical, mental and social wellbeing later. It is common knowledge that youngsters whose mental criteria are not fully developed to adopt and acknowledge can easily be influenced by external impacts such as images and audios. Due to prevalence and development of marketing strategies, before children have even developed a proper sense of their own identity, or learned to handle money, they are encouraged to associate status and self-worth with stuff and to look to external things such as fame and wealth for validation. Things like video games, junk food and expensive toys which are repeatedly announced in TV ads develop in children a mentality that happiness means owning expensive things, which may lead to misbehaviour or even criminal charge in the future. For example, a child who has constantly seen commercials about junk food may consume more than others, which contributes to the endless repercussions of serious obesity.  
  
Secondly, advertising targeting the adolescent results in financial pressure on parents, especially family with low-income. Almost all of those unscrupulous programmes manipulate kids into persuading their parents to purchase certain products and disgruntlement comes on the back of parents' refusal. In the long-term, they may suffer from low self-esteem as not being able to afford expensive gadgets or toys which their peers have. Otherwise, overindulgence exposes parents to a double-barrelled risk in which finances are in disarray and overreliance is intensified. In addition, it seems to me that taking advantages of children's innocence severely infringe the vital code of business ethics.  
  
In conclusion, It is my firm conviction that television commercials targeting the young should be prohibited officially.
You have to work on your reasoning paragraphs. Believe it or not, you have extremely long discussions in these paragraphs that over reach in explanation. Your reasoning paragraph flies off tangent because you are trying to represent several types of information in one paragraph instead of the standard single reason with proper supporting sentences, examples, and transition sentences. While you think you did a good job because you presented several reasons, the fact that you did not fully develop each reason in terms of relevance to your stance is what will lower your overall score. Do not mistake a long essay filled with reasoning topics for a good essay. You score well only when you properly justify your reasons. That is why you need to limit your reasons to 2, one per paragraph. It is the clarity of the explanation that matters, that is what you are scored on, not the number of reasons that you can deliver.
It is never risky to place your personal experience as an example in the IELTS test. In fact, it is a requirement. More than one essay discussion asks the students to provide information based on general knowledge, information, or personal experience. There is a reason for this. You are not allowed to use the computer at the testing center (if you are taking the computer based test) for external internet based research. An IELTS test is an academic essay, but does not require academic research in its completion.  
  
One of the main purposes of the test is to prove your English comprehension skills. That means, you should be able to prove that you actually understood the discussion question and how it applies to current events or academic life. By using your personal experience and knowledge as an example, provided it fully relates to the discussion, then you will have accomplished the most important task of proving your English comprehension skills to the examiner. Using commonly known current events also has the same effect. However, I would caution about using current events in the essays because sometimes, it comes across as researched or memorized information instead of personal knowledge or experience. Be careful with how you word current events references in your essay to avoid such misconceptions on the examiners part. Life experience + being well read using international sources of information / newspapers will definitely help you with writing your examples and supporting reference information.  
  
You don't need to use your first person pronouns in the presentation, you can use any of the references in your examples. However, when the prompt clearly indicates what kind of pronouns to use, then make sure to use it. In this case the main pronoun to be used is first person singular because it asks "Do YOU agree or disagree?" If it asks "Do WE agree with it?" Then use first person plural pronouns. The clues are always in the original prompt. No need to fear when using personal examples. You can't go wrong.
## Computers are often argued to be the most important invention of the last hundred years

  
  
There are many people who believe that the appearance of computers is the most important revolution in both 20th and 21st centuries in comparison to other inventions. In my opinion, I totally agree with that because of many significant changes caused from computers.  
  
In the last hundred years, there is a huge range of essential equipment that is invented such as mobile phone, television or washing-machine. All of those are so necessary in modern society which are always considered as useful devices with anyone.  
  
Nevertheless, As many benefits computers bring to our life, they should become the most impressive invention. Firstly, the computer invention play an important role in the appearance of the Internet. With a computer that is connected to network, people could approach the large amount of information and knowledge from all over the world. Therefore, computers become essential devices for anyone, especially students, teachers or researchers. For example, compared to the past, students can look up much quality information from advanced research to complete their reports rapidly instead of spending much time on reading dozens of books in the library. Secondly, computer could be a useful device for entertainment purposes. Many people use their computer to play games, watch videos or commuicate with their friends through social networks. In addition, the computer invention is considered as the premise of technological development and automation. Not only do computer systems finish complex calculation immediately but also they might analyse a huge amount of data. With results from computer usage, scientists could give their opinions in a shorter time. Therefore, more and more other inventions have appeared in recent years.  
  
In conclusion, the computer plays an important role in modern life and it deserves to be the most revolutionary invention in this century.
@Hangngo  
You paraphrased the topic well in your introduction and stated your reasons clearly. However, there is still room for improvement:  
  
Firstly, you should work harder on grammar and vocabulary. Pay attention to spelling, don't use capital letter at the middle of a sentence. You must work on improving the smallest things first. Be careful when to use noun phrase and when to use clause. "As" must be followed by a clause. Use correct verb forms and pay attention to subject-verb agreement "the computer invention plays". Always proofread your essay after writing  
  
Regarding TA and C&C, apart from your fairly good introduction, your main body paragraph did not explain what you said in the introduction. You went off topic in both of your paragraphs. In your introduction, you mentioned computer causing a lot of change but in your body paragraphs, you did not say which change it made, how did it make those change and how those change effect our life. Your first body paragraph is not necessary as it does not link to any idea in your introduction. Your conclusion introduced a totally new idea "computers play an important role in modern life". It will make you lose mark.  
  
With more studying and practice, you can write better essay in the future.
## Writing Task 2, Artificial Intelligent Robots

  
  
Topic: some people believe that eventually all jobs will be done by artificial intelligent robot, what is your opinion?  
  
Artificially robots are increasingly replacing the humans in the job market. Most well-structed jobs can be completed by robots; However, part of the jobs cannot be done because the robot is lack of sense of humanity. (Although the possibilities to replace jobs is quite high, there some jobs especially those which require human relations that cannot be replaced.) This essay is going to explain the reason that robots can handle most part of the structed jobs but can't handle those job requires sense of humanity.  
  
Robots are able to be programmed and designed to handle the well-structure job by following certain rules and standard.  
(Robot could completely the task well by following the strict rules and instruction.) It reduces the human-errors and its never get tired of work for providing a more accurate and efficient service. For example, the artificial intelligent server in restaurant timely delivered the meal to the right table to avoid missing any orders. That could prevent any possibilities of customer's complaint caused by late delivery. For these reasons, the usage of robots will be widely applied in the future job market.  
  
However, certain jobs which requires a sense of humanity can not be replaced by robot. Between black and white, there is always the grey area in our daily task at work. Those work tasks cannot be done by just following the rules, as it needs the emotion and feeling to make the correct decision for achieving better job results. For example, judges in court are impossible to be replaced by any artificial machines. That needs his/her own experience and perceptions to evaluate the potential defendant guilty or not. Thus, creating a set of unique jobs can't not replace by robot.  
  
In conclusion, even though the huge numbers of jobs could be substituted by robotic device, the jobs with the needs of human communicate still survive in the job market. Eventually, robots could totally support most of our needs in daily life by serving us anywhere. (Despite the fact that we are living in an advanced technological world, I still believe that artificial intelligence cannot do some human jobs.)
Why did you change the prompt for this essay? The actual discussion instruction for this essay is: Discuss both points of view and give your own opinion. Since you decided to answer only the third portion if the actual discussion prompt by offering only your personal opinion throughout the essay, you will only get a TA score of 4. This will be based on the fact that you only responded to one aspect of the prompt and thus, did not follow the discussion instructions as provided.  
  
It will be useless for me to review your other errors in this essay because, when you add up all of the mistakes you committed in the other scoring sections, your essay will not reach the 5 band score. My advice for you is this, never alter the prompt. Understand what the topic is, what the sides for discussion are, and how you are to present the discussion in the essay. In this case, the discussion format was:  
  
- Paraphrase  
- POV 1  
- POV 2  
- Personal opinion  
- Concluding paraphrase  
  
Since this was not the presentation you used, the essay will not be able to get a passing score.
## saving wild animals - whose duty is it?

  
  
Has modern life changes so much that wild animals have no longer existed in the 21st century? It seems to me that it is governments's duty to conserve wildlife and wild animals as they, throughout the ages, play an important role in both our life and environment.  
  
First and foremost, wild animals are believed to protect ecological stability and balance. For instance, predatory like wolves serve a purpose for ecosystem by hunting herbivores such as deer. In other words, were wolves destroyed, deer would be free in eating plans, increasing their population in uncontrollable way, which seriously spoil the nature and wildlife.  
  
What is more, it could be argued that wild animals, in terms of economic, bring a huge amount of revenue for the benefit of human. As a matter of fact that animals appearing on television programs, advertisements and TV shows are attractive and appealing to human. For instance, people are immediately attracted by wild animals as they usually go to the zoos, camping in the mountain or forest, visit the safari and so on. As a result, government and business could easily gain a great deal of money, those which might help to develop a country's economic.  
  
Contrary to popular belief, on the other hand, there are some people who claim that it is a waste of money to protecting wild animals. It cannot be denied that government might have paid a considerable sum of money on saving wildlife, however, compared to the benefit that animals bring, it is worth channelling fund into the conservation of wild animal.  
  
All things considered, I therefore believe that wild animals are in need of being protected, especially the endangered animals. In other words, each one of us has a commission to conserve wild animals as we are protecting our life.  
  
(P/s: Hi, I am profoundly grateful for your review about my essay. Moreover, the question of this essay is: " Wild animals have no place in 21st century, and the protection is a waste of resource. To what extent do you agree or disagree?" Once again, thank you very much!!)
Please remember to place the prompt at the start of the essay, not at the bottom. I need the reference question at the start so I will know how to review your essay. Do not place it at the bottom. It makes the task of reviewing your essay more difficult as I have to read it twice. Once just because i need to read it and then again because you finally gave the review instructions for it.  
  
Anyway, you are offering a non-response to the question in the original prompt so the essay will automatically get a TA failing score of 3. The original discussion instruction is: *To what extent do you agree or disagree?* However, you chose to not respond to the given question. Which means that your essay does not express a position on the given topic. As such, your essay will have to receive significant point deductions in relation to the TA section.  
  
You do know that you are not allowed to express your personal opinion in the concluding statement right? By the way, even when you did express an opinion, it still wasn't in the format required by the essay. So you still will not get points for that response. You have to place the response as a part of the paraphrase in the first paragraph. The conclusion is only meant as a summary of the preceding discussion. Discussing your personal opinion there creates an open ended rather than a concluded essay.  
  
Familiarize yourself with the proper way to frame your response to the various discussion instructions. It is always placed as a part of the paraphrase because it becomes the basis of the overall discussion and also, is one of the most important TA elements. The TA is scored at the start, not at the end of the essay.
## bringing up children responsibility

  
  
Whose responsibility it is to help children grow up to become useful members of the society is debatable. Some adhere to the idea that it is solely the parent's responsibility to raise their young in order for them to become good citizens, whereas others believe that it is predominantly the school's role to do so. The following paragraphs will discuss in detail both points of view and argue why it isn't only the family member's responsibility.  
  
The parents have one of the biggest impacts on a child's future if not the biggest. In their childhood, parents are the people that teach their kids manners, basic skills and how to respect one another. Without manners a child's life would be hard done(???), as they would have an awful time trying to socialize because of the way they act in general. In addition, without basic skills, they would never know how to be independent individuals and have to always rely on someone else (who might not always be there for them). It is undoubtable that a child's outcome will depend heavily on the mother and fathers' ability to teach them these. But I disagree that it's the parent's responsibility alone.  
  
As children spend a large proportion of their early life at school, it should definitely be the school's duty also. While in school, they learn basic knowledge such as math or spelling and how to obey rules, which would be crucial in becoming good members of their society. Going into life without basic education would most likely result in being unemployed or working at a devastatingly low salary; provided that(I don't think this is the right usage of this phrase; try something else), they would also be laughed at by others and no one would respect them. Not learning the importance of obeying the law could get them into deep trouble or even incarceration. Overall, the importance of school for a person is undeniable.  
  
In conclusion, the essay above talked about the importance of both parents and schools in the bringing up of a child and argued why it shouldn't only be one side's responsibility because of the reasons above.