dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
**Question: In today's job market it is far more important to have practical skills than theoretical knowledge. In the future, job applicants may not need any formal qualifications. To what extent do you agree or disagree?**  
  
## the most important quality of an employee?

  
  
In a highly competitive job market these days, the question of what is the most important quality an employee should have has become a topic discussion. Although practical skills are required in almost any jobs, their importance cannot be compared to the necessity of theoretical knowledge and formal qualifications.  
  
There are a number of reasons why academic knowledge is of vital importance in today's job market. First, many professions require individuals to have a complex understanding of theories and hypothesis, especially in the field of research. For example, in order to become a data scientist, the sexiest job in the 21st century, students have to learn a variety of academic courses, such as mathematics and computer science. Second, plenty of evidence suggested that people who study theoretical subjects have the ability to solve problems faster than normal people, which results in higher income. It is clear that problem-solving is the most in-demand job skill for over past decades.  
  
On the other hand, formal qualifications are necessary for companies and those who search for jobs. First, by looking through candidates' academic accomplishments, a company can directly pick the appropriate candidates. This benefits not only for the company itself but also for those who apply for the job. Second, formal qualifications are useful for people to show off their achievements. In fact, people who earn many certificates can easily stand out of the norm, which increases their chance of getting a job.  
  
In conclusion, theoretical knowledge and qualifications should never be underestimated because of its necessity in the job market. Schools and universities should take steps to engage students in the academic field.
Mai, you need to address this essay with a clear response to the extent question that was provided in the original prompt. Your prompt paraphrase became incorrect because of the lack of proper prompt restatement and response to the question. The proper paraphrase is:  
  
*These days, the ability of a person to do a job is considered to be far more important than whether or not he has the educational background to do the job. That is why there is a belief that the future workers may no longer be qualified to have a formal college degree before being hired for the job. I am in partial agreement with this point of view because several considerations.  
  
The first consideration is that....  
  
However, I believe that....  
  
That is why in the end it will most likely...*  
  
The main problem with your essay does not lie in the discussion you presented. It lies in your lack of task accuracy response. In order for your body of paragraphs / reasons to be acceptable you first need to make sure that your response to the task question is accurate. If you are not responding properly in the TA section but have a relevant line of reasoning in the body of paragraphs, then you will be scored for the sections that show a clear response, but will lose points due to lack of word requirement since your response will not have a properly worded TA response and as such, have less than the required word count for maximum essay scoring consideration.  
  
Another reason you will not be able to pass the test with this essay is because your concluding summary is a continuing discussion of the given prompt. There are 2 sets of scoring considerations that will determine the overall score for this section of your writing. The paragraph is used to summarize the discussion only as part of the LR and C&C considerations. How well you can explain the essay prompt a second time using the reasoning you presented will be looked at and scored accordingly in this section as part of the TA, LR, GRA, and C&C considerations. The first prompt paraphrase considers how well you can explain a given topic and its instructions. This has a different scoring requirement than the concluding summary.
## salary is a top priority for people

  
  
**When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration. To what extent do you agree or disagree?**  
  
It is true that most people are likely to choose high-paying jobs. Personally, I disagree with this view, because I believe that other reasons are equally consequential.  
  
On the one hand, I agree that salary can be the major reasons for people looking for occupations. Firstly, we cannot afford to pay for a house or go to a fancy restaurant, if we do not have enough money. Secondly, most people decide to travel abroad on the holidays to refresh their minds, but it will cost a great deal of money on the activities. For example, as I travelled to Japan with my friends on the summer vacation, I spend almost my one month's salary. Finally, most people who want to form a family will find it difficult because life expenditure, tuition and housing are really expensive for normal income parents.  
  
On the other hand, I believe that there are various factors as important as what we earn in our jobs. One factor is that working with a nice boss and kind colleagues would make you feel more comfortable, and they may even help you to make through the obstacles that you have suffered from. Also, job location is a key consideration for people who is searching for works. For instance, while the companies offer a high-paying job, will you spend more than two hours to get there? Finally, some people choose their career simply because they really enjoy it, and are willing to spend more time on it.  
  
In conclusion, although I disagree that salary is a top priority for people to find the jobs, I consider that other factors, such as job location, good co-workers, are also crucial.
Shao, this is an "extent" essay so you cannot simply dis/agree with a given statement. You need to show a degree of emotion in your response. Usually, words such as strongly, totally, fully, empathically ,a nd other emotional descriptive words help to drive home the "extent" of your response. The terms partially and conditionally also apply to these types of essays, provided you do not "totally" agree with the given statement first.  
  
In your actual discussion, you indicate that you totally agree with the given statement but then proceed to do a comparison discussion for your response. Therefore, you do not totally agree but rather "conditionally" agree with the given statement. Once you "totally" agree, you are not allowed to discuss anything but the singular point of view in the extent essay. However, a measured response of agreement or disagreement allows you to do a comparative discussion that also helps you to highlight your understanding of the discussion.  
  
I do not advice my students to use the partial response in these essays though because, being ESL students, it is hard enough for you to compose an essay based on a single point of view much less two points of view. By focusing on a single opinion discussion, you allow yourself to better develop your reasoning and grammar presentation. It eliminates the need to try to develop 2 reasons for 2 separate discussions which takes away from your writing and editing time.  
  
Please take note of the advice I gave above and apply it to your future practice essays. I guarantee an improvement in your presentation and overall score once you implement the corrections I listed for you.
## a relax year from studies

  
  
In some countries, the young people are promoted that should to work or travel for a gap year before studying at university or college. In this way, I therefore disagree with this statement that should take a gap year is a good option.  
  
On the one hand, many people dream of doing or working job what they want when they graduated so this time is suitable for them. First of all, many people dream of doing or travelling what they want to do in this gap year; especially, the learner get little stress after a vacation so they would be more comfortable and excited about starting to go to school. Secondly, third level education has high fee so some students decided to find job for 12 months before sign in a course to save money so they could pay their tuition fees, accommodation and living cost in order to focus on studying, rather than worry free about struggle financially on their shoulder or part time job during studying. For example, the Times reported that the avenger student at a UK university requires over $12000 per annual so this top dollar of fee so the number of student has to drop out because they were unable to pay that.  
  
On the other hand, an enormous of people get used to working and travelling and don't want to return studying so they could be out of plan. Firstly, travelling or working in a year off which make them become fall behind peers so is that reason why they could not find their motivation and always bypass about course. Secondly, some people predefined plan about the future but they were late one year to do anything they want so the future wouldn't be completive as possible as they planned before. For instance, a recent survey by the UK Government found that 26% of students who take a gap year never enter tertiary education.  
  
In conclusion, having a relax year from studies is advantages but they have to careful about result which could lead to disillusionment with education altogether
Hi  
1. It is weird that you write "so this time" in your topic sentence.  
  
2." Secondly, third level education has high fee ..."  
You write it too long in your second idea, and make it short with clear explanation. I find that you prefer using "so" to connect your sentence. It can be replace with other words.  
  
3. In your conclusion, remember that you should just paraphrase your introduction, and do not add any new ideas to it.
@Ahnne This particular prompt asks you to discuss the advantages or disadvantages of a student taking a gap year before attending college. It does not ask for your opinion as to whether or not you agree to having a student take a gap year. Based on that mistake, you will have failed the TA section of this test immediately. This is not an agree or disagree essay. This is a comparison essay that does not require your personal opinion.  
  
In addition to that mistake, all of your paragraphs only present subjects for discussion but does not actually explain why you believe these reasons as advantages or disadvantages. Each paragraph should have only one topic for discussion because the remaining 4 sentences should be used to defend your presentation regarding the (dis)advantages of the discussion. Without it, all of your paragraphs are not fully developed and will see low scores in the C&C scoring section.  
  
You are also showing a lack of care when it comes to your punctuation skills. Your closing paragraph is missing a period at the end. In addition to that, the closing paragraph is supposed to be a summary of the body of paragraph reasons. Since you did not do that, expect to lose further points in terms of TA scoring.  
  
Please remember to post the complete and original prompt for your essay the next time you post your work for review so that everyone who decides to advise you will be doing so based on proper instructions. Had it not been for my familiarity with the topic, I would not have been able to properly assess your essay and given you a generic or misguided set of advice instead. In order for you to receive helpful advice, you need to give us the criteria for reviewing your essay first.
## an individual effort to change the world?

  
  
An important issue in today's world is improving our environment and preserving the planet.However some people believe that individual efforts to combat pollution,global warming,and the depletion of natural resources are not likely to make a difference.Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with this opinion.Support your opinion with specific reasons.  
  
The issue of improving our environment and preserving the planet is a controversial one.However,some people believe that individual efforts to combat pollution,global warming,and the depletion of natural resources will not likely make a difference . Others believe that it is the duty of every individual to protect our planet from the growing pollution level which is the cause of global warming.We are not using properly the natural resources which nature has bestowed on us and as a result it is depleting.After careful thought ,I believe that it is important to improve our environment and protect our planet from global warming.Individual effort is necessary to combat these problems which are harmful for our planet.Because of global warming there is less rain which is responsible for the destruction of forest and other natural resources.  
  
Firstly, we should educate ourselves of the evil effects of pollution which is the result of so many diseases.We are not getting fresh air nowadays because of the growing number of vehicles on road and the factories/industries which releases lot of bad smoke creating a havoc on the air.Individual efforts like biking to school,offices and walking to nearby places instead of using car will help a lot to improve the situation.To change and influence others, first we have to change ourselves.  
  
Secondly, we should be aware of the importance of recycling. Recycling not only helps to reuse waste product for making new things but also helps our planet to remain clean.Maintaining good health and hygiene keeps us away from various illness.We should also teach our kids about the usefulness of recycle so that they can segregate the things which is to be recycled. Small efforts from within helps in improving the environment.  
  
Thirdly , we should not forget our natural resources which nature has provided us and we should take good care of it.Planting trees is a good concept which we should reinforce in our society.Trees are the best source of fresh air.We can take initiative by conducting seminars and teach others how we can preserve the trees by not cutting them. Big cities are expanding their infrastructure by cutting the trees and making skyscrapers and big roads. This is the result of increasing pollution.People should realize the consequences and therefore plant more trees.  
  
So, keeping into view several reasons which are responsible for pollution and global warming,one should take individual effort to change the world and make a difference. We should not forget our duty of improving our environment and saving our planet by devoting little time or effort every day.  
  
Please give honest feedback on my essay so that I can improve next time.
Anita, I am afraid that you will not like the feedback I am about to give you. The score for this essay will be a 1 because you failed to focus and discuss the prompt materials. You have shown that you lack an understanding of the assignment task so your discussion is not on track with the target audience and discussion purpose. Here is an outline of the mistake that you made:  
  
*Discussion instruction: Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with this opinion. Support your opinion with specific reasons.  
Your Task Response: I believe that it is important to improve our environment and protect our planet from global warming. Individual effort is necessary to combat these problems which are harmful for our planet*  
  
Based on the above outline, I am sure that you can see what caused the error in your presentation and why your total discussion of the essay was not on the mark when it came to addressing the prompt. You should only discuss what is being required. You should never create your own discussion topic as that will cause the automatic failure of your whole essay test.  
  
You failed to discuss the statement as it was provided. You misunderstood the instructions and you did not present any information that will help you explain a response to the original prompt. What you did was offer suggestions as to how individuals can help save the environment. That was not the point of the discussion. It was this prompt deviation that highlighted how little you understood, no, let me correct that, how you did not understand the prompt at all and still continued to discuss the topic based on an idea you wanted to discuss even if it ran counter to the original prompt.  
  
In addition to that, your 2nd sentence in the first paragraph is practically a cut and paste of the original prompt presentation. You need to change that presentation in such a manner that no keywords from the original essay are used . You actually need restate the prompt correctly, using your own words. This cut and paste method of paraphrasing is also another clue for me, as the examiner that highlights how you do not have a good enough grasp of the English language to be able to express your own understanding of a given topic. You understand what it means, but you cannot explain it in your own way. You lack the English vocabulary to express yourself in an original manner based on a given discussion topic.  
  
These problems are not very easy to overcome because these are English comprehension / English understanding problems that cannot be corrected by simply practicing to write the essays. You need to first, be able to understand English words in the sense of the instructions, something that can only be done if you are willing to ask others to explain the prompt to you and how to approach it. Have the question or instructions translated to your native tongue for now in order to help you understand the point of the exercise. From that point, you should be able to slowly start understanding the English versions of the exam prompts.
## How is Trash Disposed in Europe?

  
  
The bar chart illustrates data from a European country about waste disposal from 2005 to 2008.  
Overall, the chart clearly shows the waste disposed to landfill decreased exponentially. People used burning method moderately rose over time, and only waste dumped at sea remained relatively constant.  
  
In 2005, waste disposal in landfill was significantly high, 1800 million tonnes. In contrast, only 500 million tonnes were burned, which was six and a half times less than the waste disposed in landfill, and 100 million tonnes less than waste that were thrown down to the ocean, which was 600 million tonnes.  
  
However, in over four years, the number of waste in landfill surprisingly fell to only 600 million tonnes in 2008, whereas the burned waste climbed up to 900 million tonnes. Waste that went to the sea slightly fluctuated, ended with approximately 550 million tonnes in 2008.
hi,I am sorry that i am not the expert in this area,but I have some alterations to share with you.  
1.You may need to check if your characters is enough to reach the standard of IELTS Writing Task one. It seems that you only have 145words in your article.  
  
2.I suggest that you have to check the sentence of "People used burning method...".I think that the sentence is a little bit weird and perhaps you need to use [ the method of/for something] instead of using the words"burning method"  
  
3.Your second paragraph shows some numbers.The usage don't any mistakes, but I consider that you can try to use the word"billion"instead of using the word" million"in the whole paragraph.  
  
4.In the sentence [... high,1800 million tonnes],I guess you want to spell the word "tons" not "tonnes". Moreover,I wonder if you can just wrote the number behind a comma.  
  
5.lastly, in your last paragraph of your essay, my advise is that you can use the sentence pattern like "in contrast"or something else to indicate this is your final parts of the article.  
  
These are my opinions for you. I hope you can make a great progress in preparing IELTS!
Hi,  
1. You have to write at least 150 words on IELTS TASK 1. There was just 144 words in your article.  
  
2.In your overview, I think you did the great job on describing the trend clearly, always remember that it is quite important to mention the trend in overview, if there is no tendency of rising or falling, it would be better to note that the highest or lowest point in the figure.  
  
3. It is also important to describe the details that you have mention in your overview.  
  
4. I think you did great on transition words, such as "In contrast" "However" "whereas".
## class assignment - the topic about traffic

  
  
My city has traffic jams all days. Why does it take place every day? There are some reasons. Firstly, my city's population is increasing so the vehicles also increase. Many vehicles take part in traffic causes traffic jams. Secondly, nowaday, people sometimes walk or cycle. They mainly go by motorbikes or drive cars... They make the road narrower. Thirdly, people often go to work and go home at the same time. It calls 'the rush hours'. For example, in the morning, workers go to work and at this time teachers and students go to school too. Finally, when a traffic jam occurs, nobody wants to be late or slow. They try to go ahead. It makes the road become a chaos although there is a policeman there. In conclusion, I thinks traffic jams are the ugly points in my city. We must get over it quickly .  
  
HERE is my class assignment. I am in grade 9. PLEASE READ AND GIVE COMments TO ME. Thank you!
In my opinion, i think you should change some word like: all days become all day ( if u want to know the reason, just google it, it is complicated to tell :)  
  
Secondly, u miss a lot of linking words like in the fifth sentence, you should add word like "as a result", " hence" , "thus",..  
Thirdly, u should not use "sometimes" in that circumstance, idk but i see it weird, u should use "hardly" or "rarely" which could use the right word and also enhance your score by using academic words i think :)  
  
And finally, i see u using not exactly right word "policeman" because they are the people who have the duty chasing the criminals. In this situation, i think u use " traffic police " is much more better ( and btw i also a vietnamese :) )
Nguyen, since you did not tell us what this writing assignment is all about, it is really hard for me to analyze your essay. Save for the language problems that have already been pointed out to you, I feel like the essay has not developed content wise. You are telling us about the traffic situation in your country but you are not telling us what solutions the government has tried to place to ease the traffic situation. You are not even making suggestions as how you think the problem can be addressed in order to lighten the traffic situation. Of course my thoughts are based on some observations that may or may not be a requirement for your assignment.  
  
At this point, aside from grammar corrections, I don't really see how we can help you improve your essay further. Please remember to include your assignment instructions next time you post your work for review here so that you can get the best help possible from us.
## commuting ways to a city hospital

  
  
The maps illustrated the difference of the ways to arrive at a city hospital in 2007 and 2010.  
The most recognizable change is that there used to be no bus station in 2007, but it was constructed over the span of three years. On the other hand, staff and public park were separated in 2010 whereas both of these people were allowed to park at the east side of the Hospital Rd.  
  
In order to establish the bus station, roundabouts were constructed at both ends of the Hospital Road. The Bus Station was located at the west side of the Hospital Road, harnessing the space which was once empty. People can access to the Hospital by bus in 2010.  
  
In addition, the public car park was divided from the staff car park. The public car park was situated beside the building of the City Hospital which was slightly bigger than the staff car park. Therefore, people who drove to the hospital instead of taking the bus, should park at the east side of the main building.