dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
Hi sari,  
I have some advice for you  
  
- ... poor liars so we are ~~easily~~**easy** to detect it  
- Last, if children lie~~s~~ at very young age, they ...  
- ... and the winner will get **a** big gift but the researcher get**s** out the room and told ...  
- ... more than 80% children were peek**ing** the cards as soon as the teacher ...  
- Lying is typical parts of development, they start~~s~~ lie as ...  
- Second is **an** ability to control (...) language known as self**-**control.  
  
Hope it helps :)
Hi Sasariri! here are some feedback for you, hope this helps.  
  
Most of the **audiences** put their hands up when Kang Lee asked them if they ever ~~lie~~ lied in childhood.  
  
Adults believed some concerning about kid and lies. First, children started to lie at elementary school. Second, children are poor liars so we are easily to detect it. Last, if children lies at very young age,.. (I found some sentences used present simple while others used past simple. You have to be consistent in writing, does it give a general truth or a past context?)  
  
... guessing cards and the winner ~~will~~ would get a big gift but the researcher **should** get out of the room and told ...  
  
... left the room, they **peeked** the cards.  
  
... showed more than 80% children ~~were peek~~ peeked the cards as soon as the teacher ~~get~~ got out from the room ...
Hi..  
I have some correction for you..  
  
Most of the ~~audience~~[audiences] put their hands up (...) if they ~~ever~~ [once] ~~lie~~[lied] in childhood. Adults ~~believed~~[believe] some concerning ...  
Second, children are poor liars so [that] we are easily to detect it. Last, if children ~~lies~~[lie] at very young age,..  
  
Keep writing...
Hi Sasariri  
it is interesting video and you review it well  
but here some advice to improve your writing  
  
Last, if children ~~lies~~lie at very young age  
  
the winner ~~will~~would get big gift but the researcher ~~get~~got out the room and told the children ~~to do~~ not to peek the card  
  
more than 80% children ~~were~~peeked the cards as soon ...  
  
they start~~s~~ lie as young as 2 years old  
  
Kang Lee also told that there were two main ... (tell is transitive verb, you need to add more object)  
  
we will be easily to detect their lies ... (will is modal, need bare infinitive after it, and easily is adverb, it needs to e before it)  
  
Best wishes
**Hi sasariri. I left some suggestions for you. Hope it can helps .**  
  
Most of the ~~audience~~audiences put their (...) if they ever ~~lie~~lied in childhood.  
Adults ~~believed~~believe some concerning ...  
... poor liars so we are ~~easily~~easy to detect it.  
==> the adverb 'easily' should be an adjective.  
  
Last, if children ~~lies~~lie at very young age, ...  
==> singular verb 'lies' do not appear to agree with the plural subject children  
  
... the winner will get A big gift but the researcher ~~get~~gets out the room and ...  
==> The plural verb 'get' does not appear to agree with the singular subject the researcher.  
  
... more than 80% children ~~were peek~~were peeking the cards as soon as the ...  
==> that the form of the verb peek does not work with were in this sentence  
  
... of development, they ~~starts~~start lie as young as 2 years old.  
==> It appears that the subject pronoun they and the verb starts are not in agreement.  
  
The First ingredient is mind reading, an ability ...  
Second is THE ability to control (...) known as ~~self control~~self-control .  
==> self control is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen.  
  
... more mind-reading and ~~self control~~self-control ability, but in the future, ...  
  
**Keep writing!!!**
Afghanistan people were suffering from Taliban tribe for this almost two decades. Million people died and deportated have successfully spend most of citizens in this country. However, the people do not lose their humble and kind hearted behind of the destruction. They still share their tea, breads and prayer to other people even foreigner that come to their country. From the portraits we can feel the sadness, sacrifices and struggle of people who always ready to attacked by Taliban in front of their doors. It is very emotional to watch them heal their pain and hunger by opium. Thank you Ms. Bulaj to share us the hidden light of Afghanistan.  
  
Source: TED
Helo fauzan  
I will try to give you some suggest  
  
Million people died and deportated (typo deported) ~~have successfully spend most of citizens in this country~~ (your sentence is unclear, you can give more explanation ; if you use "and", you have to use equivalent word, died people cannot spend their life in the country like deported people, my suggestion is you can make another sentence instead to explain the deported people for example The survivors spent their whole life in this country or in Afganistan).  
  
... lose their humble and kind hearted (this sounds little bit strange, maybe you can use another word like feeling or characteristics) behind (maybe you can use another word like after) ~~of~~ the destruction. They still share their tea, breads (pieces of bread ) and ~~prayer~~ (tea, bread and prayer are not equivalent, use another word or close the sentence and make another one instead to explain prayer ) to other people even foreigner that come (came ) to their country.  
  
... and struggle of people ~~who~~ (that ) always ready to (be) attacked by Taliban ...  
Thank you Ms. Bulaj ~~to share us~~ (for sharing us ) (about ) the hidden light of Afghanistan.  
  
Good Luck :)
...... tribe for ~~this~~these almost two decades.  
  
Million people died and deportated have successfully ... = *due to millions people died and deportated, the number of citizens in this country has really dwindled.*  
  
However, the people*[repetition of people. try to use another similar words or pronouns to avoid using same word several times]**do not lose their humble and kind hearted behind of the destruction.* = however, that massive destruction does not cause Afganistan denizens lost their humble and kind hearted character  
  
..... other people even foreignerS that come to their country.  
From the related portraits [need comma] we can feel the sadness, sacrifices and struggle of ~~people~~those who always ready to get attack~~ed~~ by Taliban ...  
  
**at all, you still need to pay attention on some minor errors like singular/plural issue. effectively use pronouns to avoid repetition, and concern about the meaning or function of your sentence so it will deliver appropriate understanding toward readers. good luck**
Helllo my frined  
I will try to give you some comments  
  
Afghanistan people were suffering from Taliban tribe for ... >> Afghanistan people have been attacked by Taliban for almost two decades.  
  
Million people died and deportated have successfully spend most of citizens in this country >> ... and deported people have sucessfully spent most of the time in this country  
  
They still share their tea, breads and prayer to other people even ... >> they still share goods and bevarages even to people who have not met with  
  
Keep Writing...
***Some suggest that young people should take a job for a few years between school and university.***  
  
***Discuss what the advantages and advantages might be for people who do this.***  
  
In today's world, many students who are freshly graduated from a senior high school are found easily in a coffee shop or boutiqe or other companies. However, it is not less students who continue their study to a university right after their graduation. Which one is the best choice?  
  
For me, it is obvious that there are two main advantages for students to work before being a university students. The first one is they must have experiences that cannot get from formal institution such as how to be a good employee and colleague, how to deal with new societies , what manner to be shown when meet the boss and how to overcome any demanded works. A further positive point is they might be more responsible and wiser to use and spend money. It is because they experience the challenges in earning money.  
  
On the other hand, being a workman after 12-year formal school is completed might cause them to have less desire to take class formally. It is because they have witnessed the joy of work with personal income. Besides, age becomes a matter also. Spending a few years handling a job means they will not meet their counterparts in a same class when in college. Then, in some times, lack of intent would appear because of it.  
  
To conclude, deciding to be a university student after finishing study at school is better than to be a working man. I am a firm believer that individual who get higher education would be hired a better job.
Haiti faces a flsh flodds and wind storm extremely which was a terrible hurricane. Tha 4 categories of hurricane approach with maximum stable winds 201 kilometres per hours. This is hoped can pass without damaging the east areas of jamaica and then cross over to near by the south-western tip of haiti on Monday local time.  
  
The National Hurricane Centre in Miami stated that the storm is forecasted to beat a little number of population in eastern of Cuba on Tuesday afternoon. The forecasters said the metres of rain could fall on several restricted areas of Haiti, blow up the fears of death and flood in the high level of deforestation country.  
  
The warning of the hurricane is announced in Haiti, Jamaica, and parts of Cuba. The continous rain in part of jamaica cause flood and sink homes. The forecaster said that the sourthen haitian village would be in worst damagely.
Haiti faces a ~~flsh flodds~~ and EXTREME wind storm ~~extremely~~ which ~~was~~ IS a terrible hurricane.  
~~Tha~~ THE 4th categories of hurricane approachES with maximum stable winds ...  
  
This is hoped ~~can~~ TO pass without damaging the east areas ofjamaica and then cross (...) of haiti on Monday local time.  
**YOUR SENTENCES:**  
  
The National Hurricane Centre in Miami [...] high level of deforestation country.  
**WHILE FROM THE SOURCE:**  
*The US National Hurricane Centre in Miami also said the storm is then predicted to hit the lightly-populated eastern tip of Cuba on Tuesday afternoon.  
  
Forecasters said as much as a metre of rain could fall on some isolated areas of Haiti, raising fears of deadly mudslides and floods in the heavily deforested country where many families live in flimsy houses with corrugated metal roofs*  
  
**YOU ONLY CHANGED SOME WORDS FROM THE ARTICLE. THAT IS NOT SUMMARIZING. on making summary, at first, you need to understand the passage then rewrite it in a short form, to make sure that you only deliver the main points, using your own vocabularies.**  
  
your severe issue in misspelling plausibly ruin the meaning or function of your sentence
***Some suggest that young people should take a job for a few years between school and university.  
  
Discuss what the advantages and disadvantages be for people who do this.***  
  
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.  
  
Nowadays, young people need guidance from adult. The reason is prevent them from negative effect. They can learn to focus for their future. They have to continue their education which are study at University. It is better than take a job.  
  
The leasure time that student still waiting to enter university. They can go to work and get money from their job. For example, young people work at coffee shop. It make them get many experience to meet people. In addition, they feel good for the job and forget about their education. As far as, the job make them not exited to continue their education. Beside that, the result from their work that can increase the income in family.  
  
On the other hand, student can get a diffucult problem for not doing anything between their free time. For example, they cannot focus for the future. It is better than they prepare to pass university whice are take a course that related from their major also can increasing their ability. It make their time effectively to stay focus on. They can increase their knowledge by many ways which are get many information for studying in university. Therefore, they not fell shocked that first time to enter college. In addition, if they work before enter college it can spent much more time useless in daily activity.  
  
In conclusion, young people should continue their education because it is important for them and people around them. They age is productive to learn and memorize. Education also will raise their status and make them easily to get job.
**Hi Andika..  
Please, check my notes to improve your skill.  
^\_^**  
  
Nowadays, young people need guidance from adult. The reason is prevent them from negative effect  
*I do not know whether that is the hook or not. However, if that is, you actually failed to order your mind. Your hook cannot guide well to the statement. Therefore, be careful of determining the hook.*  
  
They have to continue their education which are study at University. It is better than take a job.  
Honestly, your thesis statement was out of the topic. before you step so far, please you pay attention to the prompt of the statement or question. That are going to help to describe your opinion in the edge of the topic. The question asks you to review advantages and disadvantages when people take a job. you have to be more aware about the prompts..  
  
For example, young people work at coffee shop.  
*When you wanna demonstrate an example, you have to explain clearly and totally. It seemed like a layman's opinion because it is less strong. This is an essay so that you have to construct scientifically.*  
  
It make them get many experience to meet people. In addition, they feel good for the job and forget about their education.  
You can review your opinion with using the listing method. The supporting sentence have to be included to strengthen your mind. It is very important to reach the high score.  
  
*Note: There are a lot of misspellings. As we know, that is one of major mistakes in writing the essay. Keep in your mind to reread your essay before uploading. Besides that, you should read the example od writing task 2 to get the sense of the essay. It is so far from criterias of the essay.*  
  
**I really believe you can master for this skill. You only need providing more time to parcatice again and again  
Keep Spirit  
GOOD LUCK  
:D**
There is a grey minaret Jara Mosque in Tunisia which is built in 1994. It has become more attractive and has got more attention from the local, even international press all across the globe. The most interesting part was its Caligraffiti which is a mix between Calligraphy and Graffiti. It was painted by El Seed, a talented Arabic man who was born and raised in Paris, France. He has that golden hands to create several universal messages through his painting on the wall, furthermore he stated that writing message is the essence of his artwork. Then,it is proved by that minaret's caligraffiti quotes which picked from a verse in Quran which says " Oh humankind, we have created you from a male and female and made you people tribe, so you may know each other".It was an universal call for peace, tolerance, and acceptance. Moreover, he stated so clearly that his goal in painting graffiti is breaking the stereotypes with the beauty of Arabic script. He didn't want to break lyrics of the poetry in the calligraphy. As it is an art and can be appreciated without knowing the meaning. It is the same with enjoying music from other countries. Some people assumed that this kind of graffiti is a rejection or a closed door, however he believed that it is an invitation, to his language, his culture, and to his art. He is so proud of his religion, that is why he loves his job so much.
Hi! I have some advice for you  
  
...which is built in 1994 it should be  
  
*which build in 1994*  
  
...from the local, even international press all across the globe it should be  
  
*from the local and the international mass media*  
  
... its Caligraffiti which is a mix between Calligraphy and Graffiti. Since your sentence is about the fact that is interesting people so you need to use simple tense. It should be  
  
*The most interesting part is the Cali-graffiti which is a mix between Calligraphy and Graffiti.*
*The most interesting part was its Caligraffiti which is a mix between Calligraphy and Graffiti.*  
The most interesting part was its Caligraffiti, a mix between Calligraphy and Graffiti . YOU MAY ALSO WRITE LIKE THIS  
  
He has t~~hat~~ THOSE golden hands to create several universal HOLY messages through his paintingS on the wall, ...  
Then,it is proved by ~~that~~ minaret's caligraffiti quotes (...) in Quran ~~which~~ says ...  
It ~~was~~ IS an universal call for peace,...  
... his goal in painting graffiti is ~~breaking~~ TO BREAK the stereotypes ...  
He ~~didn't~~ DO NOT want to break lyrics ...  
*As it is an art and can be appreciated without knowing the meaning.*too simple  
Some people assume~~d~~ that this kind of graffiti is (...) he believe~~d~~ that it is an invitation...
Hong Kong and Singapore were considered as the greatest hub of free economy in South and South East Asia and two prominent market in the region according to Asian Journal. Over the past 40 years saw number of changes between the two cities, which according to the writer as a result of the political change.  
  
Between 1980s and 1990s Hong Kong was stand among world's best cities for trade, for some reasons. For instance, tax rates is below the average and limited regulation, and their proximity to the rise of China. In the past few years, after Hong Kong resumed to be governed by China since about two decades ago, they became less attractive. In addition, political instability arose around the city with the massive protests in 2014 called "Umbrella Revolution and the Occupy Central Movement.  
  
However, Singapore appeared to be less oppressive under current regime, governed by Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong. Local press in Singapore is also slightly stronger than decades ago. In the business field, the country was stand out in number of rating agencies such as rank as second place on 'least miserably country' by Bloomberg and referred to world's most liveable city for foreign workers in Asia according to ECA International's version. All in all, these could be the advantages of Singapore over Hong Kong when it comes to appealing place for live and work.  
  
source: time.com/4513089/singapore-hong-kong/?xid=homepage
....and two prominent marketS in the region ...  
.., which according to the writer ~~as~~IS a result of ...  
  
Between 1980s and 1990s [NEED COMMA], Hong Kong was ~~stand~~ STOOD among world's ...  
For instance, tax rates ~~is~~ WAS below the average ...  
... two decades ago, ~~they~~ IT became less attractive.  
  
... and referred to THE world's most ~~liveable~~ city for foreign workers ...  
  
**at all, you are quite good in composing sentences. However, despite of some minor errors, you need to concern about the flow or coherence of your writing. Cohesive devices you used read mechanically means you still need to learn how to write naturally.**
Many people think that success is just one straight way. This is can explain why do people reach success and then fail. When people back to their comfort zone caused they figured they have made it then stop thinking any ideas and innovation. We also have to working what we love. If it is not, may be we can get much money, but not happiness.  
  
According to Richard St. John, success is continuous journey. These are eight principles to avoid "success-failure syndrome", they are ideas, work, focus, push, ideas, improve, serve, and persist. That is not only how we achieve success, but ho we sustain it.  
  
Source: TED
Helllo you are great writer  
However, there are inputs for you.  
  
... why do people reach success and then fail >> this can explain why some people are success and some not .  
  
caused they figured they have made it then stop thinking any ideas and innovation >> since they stop thinking and producing innovative idea  
We also have to working what we love >>we should love what we do and do what we love  
  
If it is not, may be we can get much money, but not happiness. >> otherwise, you only earn money, but not for happiness.  
  
That is not only how we achieve success, but ho we sustain it >> these are not only the ways how to achieve target, but how to sustain as well.  
  
see you on next writing
Many people think that success is just one straight way. This is can[DOUBLE VERBS] explain why dopeople reach success and then fail. When people back *to their comfort zone caused they figured ...* [CONFUSING SENTENCE]. We also have to work~~ing~~ what we love.  
  
According to Richard St. John, success is continuous journey.  
That is not only how we achieve success , but ho we sustain it.  
  
**TOO SHORT**. severe issue on repetition, sentence structure, and sure the meaning or function of your sentences. need to show great effort another time
A future study led by John Wiens, from the University of Arizona in the US, has been examining the capability of grasses including wild relatives of staple foods such as wheat and rice which provide half of all the calories burnt up by humans, to survive from the impact of global warming, especially rapid climate change. The researchers then initiate a 2070-prediction called 'troubling implications' since they have not able to make certain statement regarding the future of world food supplies.  
  
In point of fact, 236 grass species are able to adapt to new climatic niches, the restricted areas where they can continue to exist, thus moving them to more appropriate weather condition might be helpful. However, this option becomes improper due to the estimation that the predicted rate of climate change will be 5,000 times faster than the estimated speed at which grasses could adapt to new niches. Furthermore, limited seed dispersal due to human settlements or mountains will be other obstacles to be faced. As conclusion, John Wiens emphasizes "This has several troubling implications, for both global biodiversity and human welfare."
Hi Miss Fitri.  
These below are my thoughts.  
  
... foods such as wheat and rice.(you should place period here. You successfully create the complex sentence, but you do not make it over sine it can break your flow) which provide half (...) by humans~~,~~ to survive from (...), especially THE rapid climate change. ~~The~~(you are able to use "THE" because you did not yet mention previously.) researchers then initiate (...) since they have BEEN not able to make A certain statement ...  
  
... adapt to new climatic niches~~,~~ IN the restricted (...) continue to exist~~,~~. thus, moving them to more appropriate ...  
... due to the estimation that ~~the predicted~~ PREDICTING THE rate of climate change (...) the estimated speedat which grasses could adapt to new niches(It's better if you separate) .  
  
~~As~~In conclusion, John Wiens emphasizes THAT "This has several troubling ...  
  
OVERALL, IT IS A GOOD JOB
A future study led by John Wiens, from [...] survive from the impact of global warming,  
*a future study led by John Wiens from the University of Arizona in the US has been examining ...... used to provide half of the calories burning up by humans in order to survive from..*..  
  
**OR**  
*a future study led by John Wiens, a professor from the University of Arizona in the US, has been examining ...... used to provide half of the calories burning up by humans in order to survive from....*  
  
**it is good to compose complex structure. since you have been accustomed to produce complex ones, now you need to concern about its accuracy and easiness to understand**  
  
since they ~~have~~are not able to make certain  
thus *moving* MOVE them to more appropriate  
due to the estimation that the predicted rate of climate change will be 5,000 times faster than the estimated = ineffective sentence. too many similar words repetitively used although those are in different forms