dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
through some personal reasons below.  
The examiner already knows that you need to present personal reasons in the 2 reasoning paragraphs. This response does not give a proper discussion foundation to the next 2 paragraphs. You can only present a properly supported response+thesis statement by indicating the 2 personal reasons that you will be discussing. That is the only way to increase your TA score based on the "clear opinion" requirement for that scoring section.  
  
ancient to now  
Wrong word usage. Ancient times refer to Anno Domini and Before Christ times. There were no newspapers then. Newspapers were first invented / printed in the 18th - 19th century. These are considered fairly recent times rather than ancient times. Ancient refers to a time long past, especially before the end of the Western Roman Empire a.d. 476. Now, you may be referring to ancient as a slang definition for someone of really advanced age. Then refer to them as elderly or old people, even senior citizens. That is because word usage matters in the task 2 essay. Avoid using slang terms and use direct reference words instead to show that you know how to write academic papers using the correct formal English words properly.  
  
The second reasoning paragraph is a confusing mix of topics, without proper explanation development. You are not scored on reasoning number, you are scored on reasoning clarity. So pick one or two reasons that will connect properly to the first reasoning paragraphs that you can clearly and convincingly explain to the reader.  
  
\*Scoring is done privately. Contact me directly for more information.
***TOPIC:  
## In some countries around the world men and women are having children late in life.

  
What are the reasons for this development? What are the effects on society and family life?***  
  
Nowadays, more and more people choose to be parents later. There could be several reasons for this case, and the development has various effects on both social and family life.  
  
Two main factors may contribute to the phenomenon of parents opt for raising children subsequently around the world. The fear of financial and emotionally unstable after bringing up a child is worried by some couples. The birth of a child means not only to spend for material needs but also to invest time and energy in helping him grow up. Some are ambitious, living their lives with the aim of achieving and accomplish specific goals first before stepping up into the world of parenting. They have to finish their own targets, like getting job promotion with good salaries or buying a house fully paid, after that the children will take into consideration.  
  
However, the delay in having children can attribute to several effects. Having a baby afterward will cause an increase in aging population in the future. For the prospective of the society, caused by the gap in the age structure of the workforce, the aging society filled with elderly people is more likely to suffer from labor shortage. For the children whose parents choose to have children late, they have to face the need to take care of the elderly members, which is widely known as financial and emotional needs and costs for them.  
  
In conclusion, young adults who prefer to have children later in their life may lead to aging population in the future with drawbacks to both society and family, whereas help them with a better beginning for the birth of children at the same time.
The prompt restatement is extremely weak. The first sentence, which is the prompt restatement, does not carry a logical presentation. When is late? Later in life? At a later age? When they are older? Restating the prompt requires you to not only find equivalent words to use, you also need to make sure that the thought of the sentence is properly translated in your version. You failed to do that.  
  
You do not answer the questions provided either. So you are not delivering a clear reasoning line / opinion statement to the examiner either. You will not get a score when you do not respond to the question. You gave an empty response since there are no established discussion topics for the reasoning presentations.  
  
The topic statement of the first reasoning paragraph is highly confusing. An ENL will read that and say "Nothing makes sense in that sentence". You need to clearly state what the topic is about. In this case, you stopped short of actually mentioning the focal point in the discussion paragraph.  
  
The main problem you have with your presentation is your thought process. You seem incapable of clearly transfering your thoughts from your mind to the screen. There is a disconnection between your thinking in Chinese and your typing in English. You need to have a tutor present when writing your essay. That way, you can be supervised with regards to your sentence formation and your ability to create coherent sentences. Right now, you tend to lose points in the C+C and GRA sections. Low scores in these areas will cause you to fail the test.
## TASK 1 ABOUT RADIO AND TV

  
  
The line graph compares the proportion of the audiences in the UK of radio and television throughout the day from October to December in the year of 1992 .  
  
It is clear that most people in the UK prefer to listen to the radio at morning and watch the television at dinner time, while the rates showed almost equal percent at the middle of the day and night.  
  
In 1992, about 8% of residents in the UK turned up the radio to start the day, the rates saw a rapid rose to 28% arrived at the peak around 8.30 am, while some individuals chosen to open the television at approximately 7% when having the breakfast. At the moon, a general decline can be witnessed in the listeners of the radio until the midnight. By contrast, although the rates of television audiences experienced some fluctuations, a dramatic increase provided by the people opt for watching television.  
  
Before the 2 p.m, the rates of the audiences overtook the listeners of the radio at 25% and saw a shape growth reaching the peak at 47% at 8 p.m. Compere to the stable decease of the radio listeners, the proportion of the television showed a surge decline from 43% to 3% stood at the similar amounts of the radio at the end of the period.  
  
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You are misinforming the reader about the image information. You are using the terms morning and dinner time, when the graph refers to noon and midnight. The examiner cannot give you a passing TA score when you have 2 violations indicated:  
  
- Wrong image information reference  
- Run-on Sentence presentation instead of individual sentence information sections  
  
Yes, the information starts at 6 AM. However, the image is asking you to take note of the comparison usage times between noon and midnight. These highlight points should have been properly indicated in the summary overview. These should have been used to represent the trending statement, at the very least.  
  
You are not paying attention to your word usage and word accuracy either. The essay shows clear evidence of careless writing and disinterest in increasing your LR, GRA, and C+C scores. There are several wrong word usage presentations that will decrease the GRA and LR scores specifically. (Hint: There is a big difference in the meaning of moon and noon. Which one was indicated in the image?) Do not assume that your draft essay is the final version. You should take at least 5 minutes to review your essay and correct the errors that you should be able to spot on your own.
## The world should have only one government rather than a national government

  
  
Some people believe that the one-government of the world substitutes for the government for each country. However, I argue that this trend brings some benefits on the surface level, the government for each country is more likely advantageous.  
  
Advocates of a one-world government think that being unified under this government produces many benefits. An important reason is that this type of authority tends to save time when making decisions for essential topics. If there is only one-world government, the vaccine of Covid-19 tends to be straightforward to distribute across the world. Moreover, having a one-world government would bring the freedom of transportation for the world. The tax for products or the visa are more likely to become redundant. Also, flying to exotic countries or approaching new products would be more feasible.  
  
However, there are significant drawbacks that far outweigh the benefits. Although the one-world government may bring benefits for transportation, it still has some disadvantages. The freedom of movement between countries tends to bring more opportunities for nefarious deeds, which will cause many problems not only for the economy but also for politics. In addition, every country has a different culture, tradition and perspective. If the world is policed by the USA, it is difficult for them to understand other cultures and cannot treat other countries balancedly. Therefore, conflicts would undoubtedly arise.  
  
In conclusion, although the one-world government has some advantages, I believe that its drawbacks are far weightier. It is recommended that every country should have their own governor, but the governors should combine and support each other.
The prompt restatement is confusing and your opinion response made it even more confusing for the reader. It is difficult to decipher what you mean in this paragraph even after several readings. Therefore, this paragraph will not get a passing preliminary score due to the confusing statement presented and the GRA score for this section will be failing as well since it failed to avoid confusing the reader even after several reviews of the paragraph. This is a bad start for the essay. It has already failed in the preliminary score, so the actual score may not be a passing one anymore. Next time, try to paraphrase every paragraph in a clear manner. Do not try to compress the discussion points in the paraphrasing because your English skills do not allow you to do that yet. Your English skills are still at the basic level. Do not try to write at an advanced level yet. That could cause you to fail the test.  
  
In the second paragraph, the examiner does not care about the discussion that opposes your point of view. It should not be taken up as a discussion point in your response. You are only allowed 2 paragraphs to present acceptable evidence that that supports your point of view. In this case, only 1 paragraph does that. So the examiner will have no choice but to score your essay based on an under developed and little explained discussion. Unless 2 supporting discussions are presented and explained, the essay will not be considered completely developed.  
  
Based on the presentation problems, it will be difficult for me to assure you that you will get a passing score for this essay. It does not seem possible at this point.
## Electric Car promotion

  
  
The government's public environmental protection education and the publicity surrounding electric vehicles are also a factor affecting popularity of electric car. For the past few years, electric vehicles have become more popular because many citizens have growing awareness about environmental issue. And this awareness is related to education. Zsoka et al. (2013) show that "a strong correlation between the intensity of environmental education and the environmental knowledge of students" (para. 1). If the long-term exposure of people to this atmosphere, conservation of ecosystem can imperceptibly become their life values. Firstly, they pay more attention to environmental protection. Expressing support for low-polluting electric vehicles and the intention to buy (Yan et al., 2019). Secondly, they understand the damage to the environment caused by gasoline vehicles, such as emitting greenhouse gases CO2 or air pollutants such as sulfur dioxide and PM2.5. Resulting in their interest in buying gasoline cars is dramatically weakened, and they no longer buy vehicles powered by traditional fossil fuels, thereby affecting the decision. Even though electric vehicles are more expensive than internal-combustion engine vehicles, environmentally conscious people may prefer electric vehicles in order to produce fewer greenhouse gases and reduce roadside air pollution (Dimitropoulos, 2014, p. 29). This proves that the stronger environmental awareness in the community, the more people can be encouraged to make a choice for electric vehicles. Furthermore, when the values of citizens change, they attach importance to the sustainable development of society and the earth, as responsible "world citizenship" (World citizens, n.d., p. 1). Because of its civic awareness allow them comprehend that petroleum energy is limited, and electricity can be provided by renewable energy sources such as solar energy, wind energy, hydro energy, etc. without harming the interests of the next generation, nor jeopardize the long-term benefits, so that achieve sustainable development of society, so select electric vehicles. Another way to popularize electric car through publicity, the majority of the public make decisions due to social trends and their herd psychology. In fact, the trend culture in society is formed under the propaganda of the business community, as is the case with electric vehicles which brands such as Tesla, Tesla has been promoting to change human behavior and improve pollution by developing electric vehicles. When electric cars become more popular, plus advertising to create a favorable image in the minds of customers that purchase of electric cars is tasteful and responsible behavior, then more people will be influenced by media or friends or follow the trend, and some of them have the attitude of conformity, so they choose electric cars. Therefore, it is indispensable to enhance publicity and education will help increase the popularity of electric vehicles.
Well, it is certainly difficult to review this paragraph for proper development and weak points without reading the first half of the essay or, the whole essay for that matter. It is important to understand that I am going to be doing a blind review here, and my statements may or, may not be applicable to your writing since I have not read the whole essay. This is a general review that you will have to take at face value.  
  
I find that the paragraph is heavily reliant on in-text citations, but the writer does not expand enough on the citations through personal opinion presentations and opinions. The connection is a bit hard to create when you use so much words from other people, and so few of your own. Try to expand on the reasons why you chose to use such a citation in relation to your topic focus whenever you can.  
  
Additionally, you can divide this paragraph into 2. My advice is to seperate the publicity discussion since it is a seperate presentation topic from the early content. That way you allow yourself room to further develop and interesting and relevant discussion covering more aspects for consideration.
## it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school?

  
  
Some specialists think that learning a foreign language at primary school is vital for children than secondary school. Despite some obvious disadvantages of this trend. I believe that there are outweighed by benefits.  
  
on the one hand, there are multiple drawbacks why students should start learning an international language in primary ages than secondary school. First of all, is that learning another language except their mother tongue causes language disorders in adolescents. This is because they do not conscious of the primary language when they speak every day. For example, students tend to add more foreign words in the sentences. It not only loses the beauty value in their mother language but also leads to the discomfort of listeners. Another is that the primary teachers may not have the necessary language skills to satisfy this progress. If primary language teaching is not stand used. the secondary school could be faced with a great variety of levels in diffident language within the intake. As the result, there is no advantage if students are moved as soon as they change school.  
  
On other hand, there are numerous effective benefits why it is vital for them to begin learning at primary ages compared with secondary ages. Firstly, studying a foreign language early helps to create great language progress in which students provide a better foundation in order to prepare high level in primary school. Younger's brain not only remembers deeply and mimics the sound correctly but also have advantages in next school or their life. Secondly, learning an international language in primary school will be easier via playing games or copying videos. Besides that, the great flexibility of the primary school will help adolescents to maintain learners' authority and progress. As the result, primary students can learn the language in an effortless way whereas they enjoy their childhood.  
  
In conclusion, I would argue that learning an international language in primary school compared with secondary school, bring more benefits than a drawback because of helps the student to approach the great language progress and reduces efforts in learning the language of students in order to make it be easier.
I believe that there are outweighed by benefits.  
The prompt indicates: Discuss the advantages and disadvantages. It does not indicate: Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? You are faced with 2 different types of prompts. One asks for your personal opinion, the other, asks for a general discussion. This essay asks you to use the general discussion format. Your response format is incorrect when compared to the expected prompt question response.  
  
The reasoning discussions properly covered the general discussion considerations and references. So these will receive an appropriate score. However, the conclusion is a failure because it contains a personal opinion which was not asked for in the original prompt. In addition to that, there is a formatting violation in the conclusion because the personal opinion is only presented as a stand alone 3rd paragraph. The conclusion only serves to recap the previous discussion. The essay will be considered unconcluded and in the process, could be given a failing score due to the missing conclusion presentation as expected.
## employment categories of adult population in the usa

  
  
The bar chart gives information about the proportion of teachers by gender in 6 types of educational institutions in the UK in 2010  
It is clear that, while the number of female teachers in nursery and pre-school is largest, this figure is lowest in males. Furthermore, the biggest difference between the percentages of male and female teachers is seen in pre-school.  
  
Women dominated the teaching profession in pre-school, with over 90%, whereas the percentage of males was just nearly 5%. The same pattern can be witnessed in primary school, with the figure for females higher than their counterparts, with 90% and 10% respectively. The gap between the two genders was much narrower in secondary schools, with around 57% for females and 42% for males.  
  
It is noticeable that the proportion of men and women teachers in college were the same, at around 50%. However, the number of male teachers in private training institutes was higher than that of females, with nearly 60% and over 40% respectively. University recorded the highest percentage of male teachers, stood at 70%, over 2 times higher than the figure for females.  
  
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For the summary overview, you need to learn to use individual sentence references for each thought or idea presentation. While you can present a single sentence with all of the information, this could result in a GRA score deduction based on the confusing sentence content and the existence of a run-on sentence, when the requirement is 3-5 sentences per paragraph. The individual sentences will add to the clarity of the presentation due to the pauses created, which gives the reader an opportunity to better understand the information you are sharing. Single sentences will always provide a better score than long, compressed sentences.  
  
There should only be one trend presented in the trending sentence. That is because the other aspects need to be presented as a part of a comparison and analysis of the information. Where there are two possible trends for presentation, pick the one that seems to be most important to the summary presentation.
***The chart below gives information about the number of social networking sites people used in Canada in 2014 and 2015.***  
  
## Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

  
  
My essay:  
  
The bar chart compares the usage of social networking sites by Canadians in 2014 and 2015, measured in terms of percentages. It divides people into six categories: those who used no sites, one, two, three, four and five sites.  
  
In general, the percentages of people using one site exclusively remained the highest percentages over the period covered whereas that of five sites were the smallest  
  
While slightly more than one in every ten Canadians did not use any social networks in these two years, the rest of them did. Of these particular people, a negative correlation occurred: as the number of these sites increases, the relative amounts of people decrease, especially in those using two sites or more with a correlation coefficient of -2. The biggest overall decrease happened in the one site category, falling from 36% in 2014 to 28% in 2015. By contrast, the proportions for those using multiple sites marginally rose; in particular, rising the least in the two sites group, by only 1%, and the most in the three sites, by 4%.  
  
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Excellent work on the summary overview and the trending statement. You have presented a well summarized report that shows the clear points for analysis. However, you have a punctuation mark missing, a period, at the end of the trending statement and that, even though it is just one small error, will be noticed and be given a small GRA markdown by the examiner. Be aware of your writing errors, Always proofread and look for any oversights on your part.  
  
The analysis paragraph should have been divided into 2 as the image shown provides for a 3 comparison grouping system. There are 6 portions for analysis in total. That should cover 3 sets of information per paragraph for analysis. It would have delivered a clearer and more analyzed reporting format to the examiner. Using 4 paragraphs would not have hurt in this presentation as it would have allowed for more clarity in the report presentation.  
  
As far as this work goes, it is not a bad report, but the GRA error and formatting errors cannot be missed either. There will be some deductions applied. However, I do not see those as warranting a failing score for this presentation. It may get by based on a base passing score, or a little higher than that.
## Writing IELTS Task 1: Waste disposal in one European country (2005-2008)

  
  
The graph provides information about the amount of waste that people in one European country disposed of in 3 different ways such as landfill, burning and dumping at sea from 2005 to 2008.  
  
It is clear that people in that country disposed of less waste during 3-year-period, as the graph illustrates a significant decrease in the amount of landfill rubbish.  
  
The amount of garbage that is landfilled sharply decreased from 1800 million tonnes in 2005 to 600 million tonnes in 2008. On the other hand, burning waste slowly go up from500 million tonnes to 900 million tonnes in the same period.  
  
While the landfill and burning methods had a different trend in the given period, the amount of rubbish that is dumped at sea experienced a stable trend between 2005 and 2008, at 600 million tonnes in 2005. The figure did not change much, remained at around 595 million tonnes after 3 years.  
  
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