dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
Hello Pram!  
I want to give you suggestions.  
  
Everybody wants to be happy. I believe that ...  
I guess your introduction do not answer the prompt.  
*The prompt is:  
Happiness is considered very important in life. Why is it difficult to define? What factors are important in achieving happiness?*  
I think you shold say:  
1. General statement about happinness  
2. Reasons why for some people happiness is difficult to find  
3. General view about happinnes's source  
  
Hope it helps you :)
**Happiness is considered very important in life. Why is it difficult to define? What factors are important in achieving happiness?**  
  
Having a happy life is the purpose for everyone. It is the most essential thing that someone wants to make it true. Happiness is a magic which is very hard to describe, but many factors can make people happy.  
  
Everybody has different opinion if someone asks about happiness. It happens because the rate of happiness is different from one person to another. Sometimes people said that happiness is reached by having luxury car and in the other side said that having a child is the real happiness. It depends on people's point of view how they feel or thing about happiness. For instance, a business man who has many companies never feel happy, but he feel worry to get lose their wealthy. In contrast, a poor man life happily even he does not have big house or much money. So, it is not easy to categorise what is happiness mean.  
  
However, many ways can make people feel happiness. For the first is they have a good physic or health in body. People who get sick always imagine how lucky they are if they have good condition. After that, people who have good relationship with their family always happy, because they live in a peace and do not have conflict that can make them stress. And the most influence for getting happiness is always accept whatever the condition that people get through.  
  
All in all, there is no doubt that happiness is very crucial in life. Even it is hard to describe but many ways to reach happiness itself. However, life by helping each other is an absolute happiness that can people gets in their life.
**The table gives information on consumer spending on different items in five different countries in 2002.  
  
Writing Task 1**  
  
The table reveals the information regarding to the consumer expenditure on different necessities across a range of five countries. It is measured by percentage in 2002. Overall, it is immediately apparent that food/drink/tobacco quantities were the largest over the time. Henceforward, Italy had spent considerable amount of money for clothing/footwear, meanwhile Turkey had the highest percentage of expenditure for leisure/education.  
  
With regards to the two largest proportion of food/drink/tobacco was Turkey that stood at 32,14%, while Ireland had slight difference in its number at 28,91%. In contrast, Italy, Spain and Sweden had similar figure at aproximately above 15%.  
  
Concerning to the rest needs, Italy had the largest number of clothing/footwear at 9%, while Spain had smaller quantities than two other countries at 5,40%. On the other hand, the percentage of leisure/education had been spent mostly by Turkish citizen at 4,35% and Spain had the tiniest proportion in this category at 1,98%. (151 words)  
  
*
Septia, the overview for our opening statement is incomplete. Make sure to present the complete information in that part with regards to the countries involved in the discussion. You must include that as part of the summary. In this instance, I was left wondering as to what the other 3 countries in the table were because, while you mentioned 5 countries in total, you only mentioned simplified information for 2 countries from the list. Your second paragraph should have at least 3 sentences in it. Since it only as 2 sentences in it, it would appear that the information is lacking. Make sure to always fully develop your reports by not cutting information out when it is necessary to keep the information in or when it can help to expand the paragraph to the correct number of sentences. Remember that the paragraph format counts towards your final score as well.
**The table gives information on consumer spending on different items in five different countries in 2002.**  
  
The table illustrates about the percentage of kinds of things which was bought by consumer in five different countries in 2002. Overall, it can be seen that, the shopper in five countries bought each item just under 35 percent and the most popular item was food or drink or tobacco for each country.  
  
In the Ireland, most of consumer bought food, drink or tobacco more than others at 28.91 percent. Besides, the percentage of clothing or footwear was bought by purchaser bigger than the percentage of leisure or education at fewer than 6 and 2 percent respectively. In the same case, consumer from Italy, Spain, Sweden and Turkey were interest to buy food or drink or tobacco than others at under 35 percent. Whereas, the number of clothing or footwear was bought by buyer greater than the percentage of leisure or education at under 10 and 5 percent particularly.  
  
Shopper from Turkey excessively purchased such as food or drink or tobacco and it became a country that high consume of this item which sold at 32.14 percent. Clothing or footwear was popular in the Italy and the percentage item was sold at 9 percent. The last was leisure or education, where many consumers from Turkey were spending on this item which sold at 4.35 percent.
Wily, I am afraid to say that the possible score for this written work would be no more than 4. You have a lack of information in the opening statement. Which left the summary incomplete and ill informed. The sentences are not well developed and the thought process is not always coherent. This made the essay quite difficult to read as I had to take time to try and understand how the information that you presented connected with one another. Additionally, because you did not include the chart as an upload, I did not have a point of comparison for your statements and the actual information you were supplied with. Please remember to upload the illustration next time. Overall, this is a good attempt at writing a report summary. You should get better over time, provided you remember to take note of your current writing issues and then making sure to address those over your next few practice tests. I am sure you are going to show improvement. I look forward to reading it.
**The table above gives information on consumer spending on different items in five different countries in 2002. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.**  
  
The table elucidates information about the percentage of people's expenditure for several things in five different countries, including Ireland, Italy, Sweden, and Turkey in the year 2002. As is presented in the table, most of people in those countries spent their income for their diet such as in food, beverages, and tobacco. The lowest was for their leisure or study necessary.  
  
To begin with, the highest outlay was spent in food stuff such as meal, drink, and tobacco. In Turkey and Ireland, the percentage in diet spent almost a third nearly five times higher than expenditure in clothing and footwear. On the other hand, Spain and Sweden spent their income in dress about three times less in diet. Meanwhile, in Italy people spent 16.36 percent of their income for their foodstuff almost twice than clothing.  
  
Leisure and education became the least expenditure that people spent in 2002. Only 4.35 percent of Turkey people's income spent on pastime and education. The result was nearly same for others countries, which was no more than 5 percent.   
  
*   
*Consumer spending on different items in five different countries in 2002*
Nuraini, tobacco is considered a leisure item so you should not have listed it among the food supplies. Remember to properly state the classification of your items because this has a direct relation on your comprehension skills and also allows the reviewer to better judge your knowledge of English terms and classifications. I believe that your score for this test would range somewhere between the 6 and 7 options due to certain strengths that can be found in your presentation. You also tried and somewhat effectively used heightened grammar skills in terms of vocabulary and sentence. Which is what pushed your score, in my opinion, towards the higher scoring bracket. You were able to present a proper summary and understandable data discussions within the essay. It would seem that your writing and comprehension skills are somewhat entering the intermediate level of English use. Good work.
Hi. Here are my suggestions for you.  
  
..., Italy, Sweden, and Turkey (you forgot to mention Spain) in the year 2002. As ~~is~~it presented in the table, most of the people in those countries ...  
  
... for their leisure or study ~~necessary~~ .  
  
... diet spent almost a third(,) nearly five times ...  
On the other hand, the people of Spain and (...) income in dress ~~about~~almost three times less ~~in~~compared to the diet.  
  
Only 4.35 percent of ~~Turkey people's~~Turkish's income spent on ...  
The result was nearly as same ~~for~~asother~~**s**~~ countries ,  
  
I hope it can be useful for you.  
Goodluck and Keep Spirited
***The graph below shows the quantities of goods transported in the UK between 1974 and 2002 by four different modes of transport.***  
  
The line chart shows the quantities that are transported with four different methods such as pipeline, rail, water, and road (unit in million tonnes) between 1974 and 2002 in the United Kingdom. Overall, it can be seen that the majority of the goods were transported by road while the pipeline was the least accommodation that was used to transfer the goods.  
  
In 1974, the goods were transported by road started at 70. Between 1974 and 1990, there was a fluctuated increase and stayed at 80 in 1990. There was a slight decrease by 5 in 1995. 4-year later, the good transported increased significantly to 90 and reached a peak in 2002. For the water and rail transportation, at the beginning of the period, the rail got more goods in 40 than water that just only 3 million gaps. However, in 1998, water started to get more than the rail got. The water reached a plateau between 1986 and 1992 at 60. There was a slight decrease to 50 in 1998. Then it reached a peak in the last 2002. For the goods that were transported by rail, there was a fluctuated decrease to 30 from 1978 to 1995. Then, it increased significantly just above 40 in 2002. However. Pipeline was the unpopular one that got below 30 from 1974 to 2002.  
  
(221 Words)  
  
*
Hello, ivan this is my suggestions  
1. ... the rail got more goods ~~in~~ (at) 40 than water ...  
2. 4-year(s) later, the good (...) significantly (up) to 90 and ...  
3. maybe it more suitable if you use (comma) rather than (full stop point)  
However. Pipeline was the unpopular one that ...  
i hope it will be useful for you. keep writing
Proportion of consumer spending based on sort of item and several countries in Europe (Ireland, Italy, Spain, Sweden, and Turkey) in 2002 is provided by table. Overall, it can be seen that consumables is the most popular in all these countries while leisure or education shows the lowest proportion at the same time.  
  
First of all, in Ireland, people consumed food/ drink/ tobacco about 28.91 % while leisure/ Education in this country showed about 2.21 present. Whereas, the number of consumer spending on clothing or footwear in Italy was lower than in Ireland. Meanwhile, percentage of persons who spent their time for education/leisure is over 3%.  
  
On the other hand, proportion of swallowing food, drink, or tobacco in Spain is higher than in Sweden while this proportion is lower than in turkey. However, persons spent their time for study and relax showed the lowest proportion on all items. Besides, three of countries have percentage just under 7 present.  
  
*
Hello Pram!  
Allow me to give you some suggestion :)  
  
... based on sort of item in several countries in Europe, including Ireland , Italy, Spain, Sweden, and Turkey over the year 2002 is provided by table  
  
... study and relax showed the lowest proportion on all items. Besides, three of countries have percentage just under 7 present.  
I think you have wrong data here, as I have seen in the table, the percentage is no more than 5 percent for all countries.  
However, persons spent their time for study and relax showed the lowest proportion on all items by under 5 percent for all countries.  
  
Hope it helps you :)
Hi Pram, let me give some comments  
  
1. ..., and Turkey) in 2002 ~~is~~are provided by table  
Because you mention two things which are connected by 'and', so you need to use 'are' rather than 'is'  
  
2. ... for education/leisure ~~is~~was over 3%.  
Because the data tell about something in the past, so you need to use simple past.  
'is' should be replaced by 'was'.  
  
3. ... percentage just under 7 ~~present~~percent .  
I think it is wrong word, it is better to replace 'present' into 'percent'.  
  
Thank you  
Keep Writing
Writing Task I (November 6, 2016)  
  
The diagrams illustrate the processes of cement produced and how to use it as the component of buildings. Overall, the cement is produced and have treated by using some equipment which haS cylinder form and in rotated processes or by mechanic processes by some of the cylinder spin machines.  
  
To begin, the limestone and clay are crushed by a crusher machine before mixing it with the powder by a mixer tool. After that, the blend of those materials is spin into the rotating heater by flame on the end of the pipe for heating processed. The last process that is grinded the raw materials until be formed the cement powder before the packaged process.  
  
On the other hand, the cement then readily used for the components of buildings and the processes how to use it is simply enough. To make the good quality of bricks, besides of cement, we need water, gravel, and sand with each composition. In produces solid bricks we must blend gravels as the most component maybe 50% of the blends and then adds sand and cement in smaller composition than gravels where is just 25 % and 15 % severally and as the last pour water onto the blends but not too much just 10 % from entirely of the cement compound.  
  
(215 words)
... as the component of ~~buildings~~(concrete) . Overall,(it can be seen that)*the cement (...) equipment which haS cylinder form and ...*  
  
I think your conclusion is not clear for the second diagram  
  
... crushed by a crusher machine and the result is the powder. after that, it is mixed by mixer tool[/i]  
I think you wrong interpret the powder  
  
2. After that, the blend of those materials is spin into the rotating heater by flame on the end of the pipe for heating processed.  
After that, the blend of those materials are spun by rotating heater that using flame on the end ...  
be careful with passive
Hi. Here are my suggestions for you:  
  
First of all, don't forget to upload the data/graph.  
  
... limestone and clay as the raw materials are crushed by a crusher ...--> (the powder is the result of the crushing process)  
The last process that ~~is grinded~~ the raw materials is grindedthen~~until be formed~~ the cement powder are formed before the ~~packaged~~ packaging (when you are talking about process, use the V-ing rather than past participle) process.  
  
gravels as the most component maybe 50% ...  
try to find the similar meaning of percentage. for example you can write "50 percent" as "a half"  
  
Goodluck and Keep Spirited.
**The diagrams show the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes.**  
The figures give information about how to steps and equipment used to produce cement and stages to make concentrate from cement which is used for making process. Overall, it can be seen that, there are 5 steps and several types of equipment that can be used in the cement-making process, there are some percentages of material which is used to produce concentrate.  
  
Based on diagrams 1 we can see the materials that used, which are limestone, clay, then the equipment are crusher, mixer, rotating heater, grinder, and bags. The steps of cement production are lime stone and clay are mixed in crusher, it will result powder. Powder put in mixer and then through the rotating heater. When the heater is rotate, this step must heat and then mixture between limestone and clay will be grinder and it will result cement. After that cement is put to bag.  
  
On the other hand, there are 3 additional materials which are used to produce concentrate 10 percent of water, 25 percent sand, and 30 percent gravel. While cement is 15 percent, all of this material must be mixed to produce concentrate.
The figures give (the) information about how ~~to~~ steps and equipment (are) used to (...) stages to make ~~concentrate~~(concrete) from cement which ...  
..., there are ~~5~~(five) steps and several (...) in the cement-making process, (and) there are some (materials)(with different) percentages ~~of material~~ which is used to produce ~~concentrate~~(concrete) .  
  
Based on (first) diagrams ~~1~~ we can see (that) the materials ~~that~~are used (to produce cement that)~~, which are~~ limestone, clay, ~~then the equipment are~~ crusher, mixer, ...  
  
(firstly) The step~~s~~~~of~~(to produce) cement ~~production~~~~are~~(is) lime stone and clay are mixed ~~in~~(by) crusher,and~~it will~~(the) result is powder. secondly, Powder put ~~in~~(into) mixer and then ...  
  
After that (the) cement is put ~~to~~(into the) bag.  
  
... are used to produce ~~concentrate~~(concrete) . (these are) 10 percent of water, 25 percent(OF) sand, and 30 percent(of) gravel.  
... must be mixed to produce ~~concentrate~~(concrete) .
Hi there, your writing is great but there are several correction to make it better. :)  
  
... information about how ~~to~~ steps  
  
and equipment (are ) used to produce cement  
  
there are ~~5~~ (five) steps and several ...  
  
cement-making process, (.) there are some (...) which ~~is~~(are) used to  
  
Based on ~~diagrams 1~~(first diagram)  
  
Thanks
Hi Eki, i will give you some suggestions  
  
stages to make ~~concentrate~~**concrete** from cement which ... *concentrate is different meaning. review on your essay, there are many mistakes with this word*  
  
Overall, it can be seen that~~,~~*(unnecessary comma)* there are 5 steps  
  
When the heater ~~is~~~~rotate~~**rotates**  
  
... and clay will be **demolished**~~grinder~~ and it will result cement.
Hi, I want to make some comments  
  
1. ... information about ~~how to~~ steps and equipment are used to ...  
You need verb auxiliary before 'used' because you want to make passive sentence  
  
2. ... the cement-making process~~,~~and there are some percentages ...  
You can use conjunction 'and' rather than 'comma' to give another idea  
  
3. The steps of cement production ~~are~~is lime stone and ...  
You only mention want step in that sentence. So you should use 'is' instead of 'are'  
  
Thank you  
Keep writing
***The graph above shows the quantities of goods transported in the UK between 1974 and 2002 by four different modes of transport.***  
  
The line graph shows the information about the number of materials that transported based on four vary modes of transport in the UK, between 1974 and 2002. The unit of data is measured in million tonnes. Overall, there are upward trend of road and gradual fluctuation of rail.  
  
According to the graph, it can be seen that the highest of number of goods is road, which is started at 65 in the first year and it peaked in 1998 and raised slightly up to 100. In 2002, water and rail have quantities which is almost same, but water bit fewer than rail. Than it rose dramatically from 40 in 1978 to 58 in 1982 and it peaked up to 65 in 2002.  
  
There was an fluctuation of the number of rail from 1974 to 1994, however it inclined sharply about 25 up to over 40 in the end of year. The least is pipeline which is just under 10 in the first year, then rose significantly and peaked in 1994 at over 20, but in the next year it stood until the end of period. (185w)  
  
*
The line graph shows ~~the~~ information about the number ...  
  
... number of goods is road~~**,**~~ [conjunction"which" do not need "," before that==> sentence+which+setence] which is started at (...) and it peaked ~~in~~at 1998 and raised slightly ...  
  
... quantities which ~~is~~are almost same, but ...  
... in 1982 and it peaked up ~~to~~at[collocation ==> peak + at] 65 in 2002.  
  
... rose significantly and peaked ~~in~~at 1994 ~~at~~ over 20, but ...
Halo again, bada!  
  
... transported based on four ~~vary~~**various** modes of transport  
*vary is a verb. various is an adjective*  
  
Overall, there ~~are~~**was an** upward trend of ...  
*how about the others? you have to make your overview clear*  
  
... the highest ~~of~~ number of goods ~~is~~**was** road,  
  
... and it peaked in 1998 and raised slightly up to 100.  
*be careful when reading the chart. peaked in 2002. there was a slight difference. but 2002 is higher than 1998*  
  
... have quantities which ~~is~~**were** almost same, but ...  
*please, use the past form*  
  
There was ~~an~~**a** fluctuation of the number...
Hello Bada!  
Allow me to give you a suggestion.  
  
You have a lot of problem with tense here.  
Since the time signal in the task is clearly mention, you have to use appropriate tenses.  
  
... transported in the UK between **1974 and 2002** by four different modes of transport  
In this case you should use past tense.  
  
The unit of data was measured in million tonnes  
... highest of number of goods was road, which was started at 65 in  
The least was pipeline which was just under 10 in the first year  
  
Hope it helps you :)
1. ... the number of materials ~~that~~ transportation based on four types of transport in the UK, ...  
be careful with conjunction  
  
2. The data was measured in million tonnes.  
  
3. ... seen that the highest ~~of~~ number of goods was road, which was started at 65 (...) 1998 and rise slightly up to 100.  
be careful with pass tense (verb2)  
  
4.In 2002, water and rail have quantities ...  
In 2002, water and rail almost have same quantities, but water bit fewer than rail. Than it rose dramatically from 40 in 1978 to 58 in 1982 and it peaked up to 65 in 2002.
Hi bada, let me give some comments  
  
1. ... number of materials ~~that~~ transported based on ...  
You do need to use conjunction in that sentence, because there is only one verb  
  
2. ... that the highest ~~of~~ number of goods is road ...  
  
3. it peaked ~~up to~~at above 65 in 2002 ...  
  
Thank you  
Keep writing