dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
## junk foods taxation to counter obesity

  
  
In some developing countries, the number of people being mortality for heart disease and obesity is becoming more and more remarkable. Most of people believe that fast food such as: Fried chicken; Mashed potatoes; Canned food... is the main factor of this health problems and the same to me. Therefore I agree that governments should impose more tax and so forth on fast food to protect public health.  
  
First of all, when we force more tax on fast food, we can both have money (from tax) for some activities as local charities, poor people... and reduce the intake of fat from fast food because it will make the price of fast food increase for a long time and people will give up it. It's just like an "one shot, two kills" effect. In details, many researches from famous doctors on some big journals in Europe have show that the bad amino - acid from fast food can destroy and inactivate your immune systems through time. Finally your body can't stand with the environment any more and let the virus invade and dominate your immune systems.  
  
Secondly, the amount of money collected from tax can be used to raise awareness of people about healthy care. Nowadays, the young are becoming uncontrollable to what they are eating. As a result, more and more young people being under thirty year old are positive to cancers. This is a warning bell for all the governments and health organizations must do something to increase the general public's knowledge to protect our future generations.  
  
Last but not least, increasing tax is equivalent to force fast food chains to change their recipes and process in order to make a better food for everyone. When they create a better product, the governments can have mercy on their effort and reduce tax. This seem to be an effective way to both protect the consumers and enterprises in the next years.  
  
In conclusion, the fast food industry is becoming far more popular to consumers as its convenience. However, the bad effect of them is potential. Imposing tax may be the best way to keep people away from using this bad indulgence!  
  
[ THANKS FOR READING END OF MY ESSAY ^^, PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHICH BAND THAT I ACHIEVE AND YOUR RECOMMENDATION?. HOPE YOU HAVE A GOOD DAY AND BEST WISHES TO YOU!]
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There is no need to over discuss the presentation, leading you to write more words than the actual 40 minute time allowance requires. Learn to spot the difference in prompt instructions so that you will not over write in the presentation. All essays are 4 paragraph presentations except for essays that instruct you to "discuss both points of view and give an opinion". That is a 5 paragraph essay.  
  
Avoid using special punctuation marks such as ellipses in the presentation paragraphs as you are writing an academic essay, not a creative story. This being an extent essay requires you to give a measured response based on a single or two opinions. So when you said "I agree", you lack the extent reference which is the strength of your belief in this opinion ( Strongly, partially, wholly, to the extent that...)  
  
Like I previously said, there are only 2 reasoning paragraphs required for this essay. The third reason would have created a more cohesive discussion presentation had you chosen to us that instead of the current 2nd reason. Remember that your reasons need to have a sense of cohesiveness or a relationship between the reasons to help increase your C&C score.
**Scoring = Premium Service. Please contact us privately. Student Scoring = Ban!**  
  
The discussion itself lends highly credible information that would support your point of view. However, a clearer statement of your opinion in the first paragraph would have helped deliver immediate clarity and support to the given discussion reasons in the next few paragraphs. There is a strength in this discussion coming from the results of private consultants being hired by the company and your personal experience regarding the matter. All of these helped the essay deliver clear content and reasoning. It is a well written essay that I believe will score higher than average in an actual setting, regardless of the run-on sentences here and there, along with a few punctuation errors. Those did not impede the presentation in any way.
## Tet holiday

  
  
I am going to talk about the celebration that I never forget. It is the Tet holiday that is a meaningful celebration for everyone to welcome a new year full of peace and happiness. My family prepared for the new year by cooking special holiday foods and cleaning our house. During Tet, we practiced some customs such as ancestral worship, wishing new year's greetings, giving lucky money to children. Besides, my family had a small party on the last days of the year. In that precious time, most family members are fully present. Tet holiday becomes interesting because we get to participate in exciting activities together and enjoy typical dishes. The Lunar New Year is the happiest time of the year when I'm with my family. And that is why it is memorable to me
The use of simple English in this presentation is good. The simplicity of your language presentation makes the topic easy to understand. However, there is a missing discussion point. Aside from the vivid description of the event, you should also be referring to some instances or reasons that make the Lunar New Year a memorable celebration for you. What is the personal reason? The description you gave could actually apply to any festival, any family, and any person describing an event. You need to make the reason for its memorable status stand out based on a personal memory or reason for it. Right now, I understand what the festival is all about, but not why these series of events would make the celebration memorable for you.
## rise is the best

  
  
The best food in the world to me is rice. That is something no one can change my mind about. The following points will dive deeper into my point of view.  
  
Rice has an amazing nutritional value, especially red, brown and black rice. Since humans are omnivores, we can happily enjoy the best of both worlds eating meat-based and plant-based products while still maintaining a healthy diet. Rice provides us with both calories and nutrition. Rice is a type of slow-release carbs, which means it doesn't cause a sudden spike in blood sugar levels. You can feel full for a long time after eating rice. Brown, red and black rice are packed with crucial vitamins and antioxidants. I think it is a fair statement that rice is healthy food.  
  
Rice is also highly affordable and accessible, especially in Asian countries, you can find it at any store, market, or supermarket. Here in Vietnam, a 1 kg bag of high-quality rice is only about a dollar, which is cheap to the vast majority of people. The reason for the good price is that Asian countries have the agriculture of growing rice for thousands of years. Rice can be stored for a long time range from six months to a year, makes it the perfect emergency food. For instance, during the pandemic, many people buy a large amount of rice to stock up just in case.  
  
In conclusion, the best food in the world to me is rice. It has both nutritional value and an affordable price.
It appears that you are immediately discussing the topic that was provided for the task. Which is good but, without the proper prompt restatement that explains why you should be discussing why you believe rice is the best food in the world, there is a missing link in the first paragraph. The missing link is the reason for the discussion and what the discussion parameters are. Even in the Task 1 essay for letter writing, you are to use the first paragraph to clearly explain the reason behind the letter. The same goes for the Task 2 essay.  
  
You should aim to write a proper reverse summary in the last paragraph as well. Something that repeats the discussion topic, reasons, and your opinion, all within a 40 word presentation composed of 2 sentences or more. It will help you garner a better TA and C&C score.
***In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people.***  
## Why might this be the case. Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

  
  
Most people prefer buying a house to renting one in the developed world nowadays. There are some reasons to justify this case, and I believe that owning a private house is the positive case.  
  
The reasons to buy a house are considered in personal preferences of beliefs and hobbies. It is believed that when owning a house is the best way to save a large budget in the long run, most marriage partners choose to save a sum of money or take out the mortgage in order to buy a house before setting down. The expense of paying rent per month is eliminated, and the savings could be budgeted for other expenses, such as school tuition of their children. But perhaps is more enthusiastic about the idea of buying the private house is the possibility that people are free to decorate their rooms if they own a house. This is an upward trend for the young when making their own spaces begin to be considered.  
  
In my opinion, owning a house is a totally positive situation because of the fact that stress could be released and people feel more comfortable. From the stress perspective, the private house could be the solution to decrease the cost of living for poor families. If, for instance, the housing cost is eliminated in monthly expenditures. From the feeling perspective, it encourages everyone to come back home after a long day, meaning that they take time to enjoy life everyday.This makes an individual's life more enthusiastic and colorful when he or she seeks spare-time hobbies, such as gardening, fishing or growing vegetables at home.  
  
In conclusion, for most people, owning a house is by far popular recently. There could be some reasons for this, and I consider it to be the positive trend
There are some reasons to justify this case  
- There was a direct question asked in response to this. Your answer is not direct. A direct response is required as the reason(s) behind the question. No discussion is required, just a topic outline to help support your response to the second question. Those 2 sentences at the end will create a clear thesis statement that delivers a clear opinion to the examiner. Your response only repeats the instruction which is not really helpful to your TA score. Only direct responses to the guide questions or discussion instructions can do that.  
  
You did an excellent job in responding to the prompt discussion. You stayed on point and responded to each question clearly and accurately in each reasoning paragraph. However, the summary conclusion you wrote is less than 40 words. You need to type at least 40 words, composed of 2-3 sentence in this section so that it can be a properly scored reverse paraphrase.
## IELTS writing task 2: museums and art galleries

  
  
Some people claim that museums and art galleries are not needed today, because everyone can see historical objects or art works by computer. Do you agree or disagree?  
  
In the age of information technology, many people believe that observing artefacts and artistic creations in the internet can lead to disappearance of historical houses and art halls. Personally, I completely disagree with this view.  
  
First of all, it is true that thanks to internet artefacts and paintings can all be accessed freely and almost instantly at the touch of a key on a computer keyboard, but modern technology can never offer us firsthand experience, like museums and art exhibition do. Some objects displayed in these places are not only available for viewing but also for touching and sometimes even trying, which can not be performed when seeing an object on a computer screen. Thanks to these experiences people can immerse in the atmosphere of historical events and fathom the story behind former heritages and pieces of creations. Therefore, it would be an immense loss if such places were to close their doors to the public.  
  
Secondly, memorial houses and art museums are not only places for contemplating artistic masterpieces but also symbol of history and culture of humanity. Visiting these places can remind young generation of civilization and development our ancestors created. Moreover, outdoor activities like visiting museums and art galleries can be advantageous to people's flexibility. People can avoid obesity and monotonous life of staying at home with computer most of time. Museums and art galleries are also places for people to interact with the others having interests in common.  
  
In conclusion, memorial houses and art halls are unreplaceable because of their meanings and experiences to human.
Having written only 259 words, I do not feel like you have fully reached the potential of this essay to garner you a better than average score. If you write at least 275 words, you will have achieved a mid-range discussion presentation that will allow you avoid too many writing errors, and be considered for better scoring marks in every scoring section. Try that next time, it should do wonders for the clarity of your paragraphs as well.  
  
Your paraphrasing is acceptable except for one small incorrect detail. You are using an extent response (completely) in giving your opinion when the requirement is a non-exaggerated response ( I disagree). State your response only in the manner instructed. I guess you are not too familiar with the various writing styles yet so that is what led to this response format misconception.  
  
The concluding summary should be at least 40 words long. 2-3 sentences in that presentation will work very well in delivering a comprehensive review of the previous topic and reasons.
***Everyone should become Vegetarian because they do not need to eat meat to have a healthy diet.***  
## Do you agree or disagree?

  
  
It is sometime argued that people should take meat out of food list and become Vegetarians because meat is not the only kind of food which people need to eat to be healthy. I totally disagree with this idea.  
  
It is easily to see that meat is an important part of people's diet. Meat has a huge number of essential nutrients for human and some of that are not replaced or it is very expensive if people want to make them. For example, vitamin named B12 is only found in animals. Vegetarians usually have problem with the health about their brains because they do not have enough that kind of vitamin. They cannot remember well or feel tired frequently. There is a mecina which provide vitamin B12 but using in the long term, people might get some side effects.  
  
People who have heart disease, kidney or blood problems are usually afraid of eating meat. However, doctors advice them to reduce the amount of meat but not to cut out of that. Patiens could choose to eat some food like salmon, pork and so on. Those are not only delicious but also helped to improve their health. Furthermore, meat is a kind of food which is very cheap and popular. With the developments of agriculture industry, the cost of meat is lower but the quality is higher for example chickens, pigs, fish.  
  
In conclusion, although a vegetarian diet maybe good for people who have problem about cholesterol, heart attach but I believe that meat still is an important food in people's diet.
If you notice, in the original discussion, there is no argument being presented. Only an idea is being represented as a discussion topic. Then you were asked to agree or disagree with the idea. As there is no "argument" being presented, it is incorrect for you to represent it as such in the restatement. You have inaccurately restated the prompt. Do not use argument reference words where there are none or none is provided in the first presentation. Exaggerations such as these create prompt deviations as these change the original statement presentation. It will result in some percentage deductions in your TA score due to prompt restatement inaccuracy. Additionally, you are using an extent essay format ( I totally disagree...) where only a simple statement of your supported side is required.  
  
You have several vocabulary issues in this presentation ranging from improper vocabulary usage to wrong spelling and use of a foreign language (Spanish word "mecina") in an English only essay. These are additional point deductions that will definitely prevent you from receiving a baseline passing score.
## hosting international sports events

  
  
Recently, the idea of hosting an international sports events has brought several controversies as some people opine that it is good for the country, whereas others express the opposite opinion. In this essay, I will analyze both views and state my position.  
  
On the one hand, opponents of international sports events propose a major argument. First and foremost, they say that the government tend to invest more money and time in those events than national issues. To be more specific, there are a large number of imperative social problems need pressing such as poverty, poor healthcare system and education. Moreover, funds are used to build facilities to support the event rather than pouring into social issues, which give rise to resentment and anger, disappointment among the public. For example, after the Olympic 2016 in Rio taking place in Brazil, the country has been saddled with debt and caused many people to lose their home. Secondly, hosting an international sports events can lead to terrorism. In particular, given that there are influx of tourists visit the country, it would be too crowded for the security system to take control of, which gives terrorists the chance to conduct crime.  
  
However, I would side with those who say the host country can reap enormous benefit by hosting international sports events. Firstly, this country can improve their image. Particularly, an international sports event is covered extensively on numerous media, so attractions and heritage sides are able to be presented to people all over the world. In addition to this, the event would be beneficial to the country as the number of tourists increase, which results in improvement in livelihood of people by selling souvenirs, being tour guides. In the second place, the event gives citizens the opportunity to broaden their horizons about cultures. Specifically, an international sports event attracts a large number of competitors from different countries and in the knowledge-based economy, learning about cultural diversity is essential for the future of the country.  
  
In conclusion, hosting an international sports event brings the country several advantages. Nevertheless, the host country had better pay equal attention between events and social issues.
You have over written this essay. You do not need more than 300 words in the presentation since you have only 40 minutes to write the perfect essay from drafting, editing, and finalizing the content. Do not just type as many words as you can for the heck of it. Remember, the number of words over the minimum word count are not scored. Write under the minimum word count and you receive a penalty, Write more than that, and you do not get any additional points for it. Rather, it opens you up to more writing errors and unclear paragraph presentations.  
  
Try to open your paragraphs with topic sentences rather than memorized phrases like "On the one hand" and "first and foremost" because these do not help prove your English writing abilities in any way. Rather it unnecessarily lengthens the essay, without adding to any coherence or cohesive devices on which you are scored. Try to limit yourself to one reason per paragraph because, as you can see from your second rand third reasoning paragraphs, your second reasons are as not as well explained and developed as the paragraph presentations. This then lowered your paragraph score because it then became an under developed discussion presentation. This is precisely why you should not aim to write too many words in the essay. Anywhere between 250 -300 words will suffice and keep the essay on a clear track.
## artificial intelligence in our life

  
  
It is an indubitable fact that artificial intelligence is truly a revolutionary attainment of computer science, invented to be a kernel component of all modern software over the coming years and decades. In my opinion, this development presents a menace but also an opportunity, and this essay aims to highlight both.  
  
The most transparent advantage obtained from AI is the enhancement of work efficiency. This could be exemplified by the fact that tedious and mundane tasks have been doing by intelligent assistants allowing us to do the more interpersonal and creative aspect of work, which minimizes the workforce and cost of production. Another benefit worth mentioning is that AI executes tasks faster, more accurate and make fewer errors than humans. To prove my point, AI algorithms help to detect faces or identify speech briskly. Moreover, in some production lines, AI is used to expose, by means of infrared sensors, small cracks or defects in parts that are undetectable by the human eyes.  
  
Regardless of these advantages, one negative aspect that needs to be addressed is the misuse of AI might result in immense detriment. A good case in this point would be when malware, viruses or hackers attack data management center, people face the risk of losing personal information or being tracked down by cybercrimes. An supplementary drawback of AI is the expense for training the operating staff and ameliorating the computer programs is extortionate. This explain why even developed countries (with economic potential) need a lot of time to be a big name in this technology.  
  
I would like to conclude by saying then that society needs to be aware of both positive and negative consequences before any action that can alter the status quo will be taken.
Your first paragraph does not relate to the original topic presentation. It is not a prompt restatement but rather, an immediate discussion of the provided topic. You will not be able to get a good TA score in this section because you failed to properly restate the original discussion topic, the reasons for the discussion, and the proper discussion instruction you were provided. Your thesis statement totally altered the discussion presentation from an A/D paragraph presentation to a personally created prompt for the discussion. This will result in a failed Task Accuracy representation. You are not being asked to present an personal opinion in this task. You are being asked to only present the advantage and disadvantage sans a personal opinion. Do not include discussion actions not required in the original presentation. Had the essay asked you to "discuss both views and give an opinion", then your discussion format would have been more appropriate for the presentation.