dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
1) I think the introduction should be more concise. You can combine the two sentences with the structure: "Some people believe foreign language should not be mandatory... However, I completely disagree with this view for the following reasons....  
  
2) Although the word " language " is pretty hard to paraphrase, try to avoid repetition by using different structure, relative clauses for example.  
3) You can use "others" as a paraphrase of "many people"  
4) Maybe try to think of an example in your essay.
Question:  
## Governments should spend more money on railways rather than roads.

  
***To what extent do you agree or disagree?***  
  
There is a view that governments should inject more investments in a railway system than a road one. Although railway transport is critical to the economic development of a country, I would argue that road transport is of the equal importance.  
  
The first reason why governments should not prioritize railway over roadway construction is the huge initial investment. Firstly, to build and operate a railway system, governments shall have to approve a large national-level construction project which requires a lot of time, money and manpower. Secondly, the cost for running and maintaining the system is also enormous. For example, in Romania, the proposed budget for upgrading the railway system from 2018 to 2020 is larger than 11 billion Euros. This cost requirement may not be considered affordable in many countries, especially developing countries where there are several other urgent pressing needs for the governments' budget.  
  
The second reason why the road system should also be invested equally lies in its flexibility. Firstly, installment investments in a build-and-operate road system are possible while a railway system requires across-the-board investment and construction before operation. For example, developing countries can partly build its road system of which each part can be put into use upon completion. In addition, a road transport provides more flexibility in terms of door-to-door services and the volumes of goods transported while railways cannot.  
  
In conclusion, a railway system is a large-project that needs a lot of money and manpower investments while a road system requires lesser funding at a times and proves to be more flexible. Therefore, both systems should be equally invested by governments to meet the efficient transport needs of a country.
Crystal, kindly familiarize yourself with the various discussion methods by which the Task 2 essay is completed. When considering a response to an extent question, you must only consider the original topic for discussion in relation to the question. You should not change the discussion topic as you did in this presentation. That is why this essay cannot receive a passing score. You went off topic during the discussion:  
  
*Topic: Governments should spend more money on railways rather than roads.  
Instruction: To what extent do you agree or disagree?  
  
Your Topic: Although railway transport is critical to the economic development of a country...  
Response: I would argue that road transport is of the equal importance.*  
  
As you can see from the outline, you changed both the discussion topic and you failed to respond to the question being asked. This shows a lack of English comprehension skills or a disregard for instructions provided. Either way, you can assure yourself of a failing score in the TA section, which, due to the wrong discussion format, will completely lead to a failing score had this been an actual test.
Topic:  
***In today's world of advanced science and technology, we still greatly value our artists such as musicians, painters and writers.***  
## What can arts tell us about life that science and technology cannot?

  
  
It is undeniable that we have witnessed a remarkable advancement of science and technology in this digital era; however, many artists still receive deep respect from people. This essay will specify two valuable life aspects empowered by arts that science and technology fail to do.  
  
Obviously, many profound lessons in life manifest themselves in various forms of art such as literature, music and painting. Although many artworks reflect a myriad of cultural, customary and religious features which are transmitted through generations, they remain simple yet informative enough to reach the mass audience. For example, the painting "The Last Supper" of Leonardo da Vinci conveys meaningful messages nested inside the beliefs of Christianity which has attracted people's attention for hundreds of years. Such masterpieces are clear evidence for the fact that the fundamental role of arts in delivering ideas and preserving cultural values cannot be replaced by science and technology.  
  
Arts also enrich creativity and imagination which are indispensable elements in life. It has always been those cognitive skills of human that serve as the precursor of many scientific innovations throughout the history. For instance, numerous scientific breakthroughs such as spaceship and self-driving car were actually inspired by fiction novels. Thus, there is no doubt that a lot of inspirational artists are promoting creativity in the public through their aesthetic works of art, which will keep our civilization constantly heading toward the advancement of science and technology.  
  
In conclusion, certain unique traits of arts definitely surpass science and technology in the two aforementioned domains despite the significant values of theirs counterpart in modern society.
I like your writing style; thoughtful and to the point (you could be a reporter :). I'm not sure if you chose to compare BBC and CNN; to make it more different, I'd choose less alike news media, maybe BBC vs FOX. You use both single and double quotes; you should probably stick to double everywhere. In conclusion, you make a strong point about "news discrimination"; that was not clear from the initial paragraph and comes as a little surprise to the reader.  
  
If applies, you may also mention what kind of guests / experts both news media featured (typically they invite guests / experts to talk about the issues) and who were these "experts" (their expertise may suggest what the news wanted to mainly focus on in their news).
**Social media has completely changed the way family and friends communicate with each other. What are the other reasons for this? Is this a positive or negative development?**  
  
## the interaction of family and friends and social media

  
  
The attendance of social media platform is not only the aspect that has altered the interaction of family and friends, but the busy work and shifting moral values should be taken into consideration. While social media itself has caused young people to become addicted to virtual friends, the short time needed for sending a text is an extremely positive development of this.  
  
Two of other reasons having changed people communication in family and friends are busy work and ignorance of some moral values. When people experience full-time work, employees spend much time in the workplace, and it means they interact more with their peers rather than with family. In this circumstance, people sometimes are measured based on their contribution or position regardless of age, and so giving such higher respect to older people no longer to be implemented. For example, a young person as the company's manager would not hesitate to speak louder to their driver when he comes late to pick his boss, and this rule also applies if the driver is younger. Compared to the past, people should be polite to older people in terms of to communicate as the norm of society regulate this strictly and tend to give a higher mandate to them.  
  
The merits of the social media cannot be underestimated since the invention of this, people simply text others taking only a few seconds to receive compared to the use of letters which take a lot of time to arrive. However, the usage of the old-fashioned message is more secure than the digital one as the latter full of human oversight who can access and if the programmers are not responsible they might take over to use in crime way. In fact, the government has established a structured system that even though the operators recruited run their task professionally, the machine observers are still used to double protect in the user account. Until now, there is a very view case recorded about hackers who successfully access someone's account for a long time.  
  
In conclusion, apart from the presence of social media, the tendency people spend much time in the workplace and the difference in some moral values compared to the past has changed the form of people communication. However social media is accepted to bring more benefits than advantages because today distance cannot limit people to communicate.
## benefits of becoming vegetarian

  
  
**[IELTS] People should become vegetarian because they do not need to eat meat to have a healthy diet.** Agree or disagree  
Nowadays, following a vegetarian diet has been receiving a great deal of public attention. Although this trend does not appear attractive, the advantages will be more significant.  
  
There are a number of reasons why people should become vegetarian. First, since people have suffered from different chronic illnesses, people tend to consume plant foods. In fact, a healthy vegetarian diet is typically low in fat and high in fiber, which can help people, especially the elderly who are affected by diabetes and obesity avoid absorbing fat nutrients and improve digestion. Second, by having a balance diet from a source of organic vegetables, people will have enough supplements to support their bodies. This means that plant foods are rich in vitamins and minerals can provide a wide spectrum of health-promoting nutrients for bodies, which can make the immune system get better.  
  
However, there are still some disadvantages to take into consideration before becoming a vegetarion. First, if people have diet just from the only source of vegetables, there can be a lack of calories to meet people 's energy needs if a vegetarian ' daily meals are not properly balanced. Consequently, they might feel lethargic and unable to do anything energic. Second, in order to change to make meal better taste, people often use various cooking methods. For example, vegetables could be stir fried or boiled in deep water, which leads to a decrease of the amount of vitamins and other minerals absorbed because these supplements are retained best when food is eaten raw or steamed.  
  
In conclusion, the benefits of becoming vegetarian will be far more significant. By following properly balanced diets, people will have enough nutrients to be healthy.
It seems that the advantages to go vegan (described in the 2nd paragraph) are not much better than disadvantages you described in the 3rd paragraph. Both arguments are valid, but your conclusion comes a little as a surprise because the positives of vegetarian diet aren't really 'far more significant.' You may also mention "proteins" (meat or fish are the main source).  
  
And consider the difference between 'vegetarian' and 'vegan' ('vegetarians' don't eat meat but can drink milk, eggs, etc. - 'vegans' only eat plant products; so you probably described more vegans than vegetarians here).
hi @jakepkdt  
  
This is my suggestion for your writing:  
1.**The** technology serves to ... society and  ~~economy~~  (I think productivity will be similar with productivity, so chose one of them. as well as **protect**io  ~~and~~  ~~and~~ , so it ... of life a **and well-being**.  
  
2. it is **a** negative (too short)  
  
3. However, when it is created to ... Essentially, technology can be ... ( you need to succine the sentences with simply to mention what a negative and positive impact)  
  
4. The ~~rise~~ advance of ... society  ~~and the economy~~ ~~to achieve efficiency and productivity~~ better in ... also contributes ~~to human's knowledge about the world and scientific research~~ it is far more different with thesis statement.  
  
5. Thus, people's dependence on technology to ... (circle opinion as you have already used in the previous sentence)  
  
6. that  ~~can~~ autopilot do. They would be deskilled ~~lose a skill that is very crucial in this era~~ and lose ...  
  
7. ~~technology appears ... nor positive~~ circle opinion  
  
8. ~~However, without realizing it, ... of our actions.~~  
circle opinion
## IELTS Writing Task 2 on universities

  
  
Some people think that universities should provide graduates with the knowledge and skills needed in the workplace. Others think that the true function of a university should be to give access to knowledge for its own sake, regardless of whether the course is useful to an employer.  
  
What, in your opinion, should be the main function of a university?  
  
Nowadays, the unemployment ratio is sharply high on around the world because of lacking of the knowledge and soft-skills in the workplace. Universities should apply office awareness and needed skills courses.  
  
Students couldn't get a good career if they lack of workplace studying after graduation. Firstly, studying at school and working as an employee are not the same. Students at university always try to pass the exams to graduate and responsible for only themselves. By contrast, if you work in the office, you have to responsible for the company's productivity which relates to all staffs and customers. Secondly, interviewers currently consider interviewees's capacity and adaptation more than the scores in degree or diploma. They want to know if you could handle employee's duty well.  
  
Moreover, lacking of knowledge and skills needed in the workplace prevents student 's development. Nobody could break the limit in the unrealistic educational system. Especially in Vietnam, almost graduated students have to be training everything about their works again, wasting a lot of money and time of companies. More importantly, outdated courses affect badly to flexibility and acumen, emerging unemployed generations.  
  
In conclusion, it can be said that providing the knowledge and skills which the workplace needs is every universities basic function.
hy @idontwannabeyou  
  
This is my suggestion for you  
  
1. Students ~~couldn't~~  would less opportunity ...  
2. You need to put some words before saying this: Firstly, studying at school and working; this is because firstly...  
3. ... currently consider **in** interviewees's ~~capacity~~ ability  
4. I do not understand by this phrase **adaptation more than the scores in degree or diploma**  
5. ~~employee's duty~~  well responsible in the obligation  
6. lacking ~~of~~ knowledge  
7. prevents ~~student 's~~ workers to ~~develop~~ reach a higher position  
8.Nobody : avoid to use this word in writing
## Convenience and pre-packaged food

  
  
Well, to me this is an interesting question because it's very practical. I think, nowadays packaged food is being seen as a friend of people. We use them everyday in everywhere and it's really useful for us. There are 2 main reasons that packaged food profit community. The first resason, it's extremely convenient. Food is processed then it's put into boxes, bags,... and customer can take away and use them. Snack is an closest example, when you crave chips, you often think how to buy them as fast as possible instead of rolling into the kitchen. Therefore, packaged potatoes is one of a popular good in grocerys, supermarkets,..... Moreover, packaged food ensures hygiene for people. Apart from a few isolated cases, we are always received a good quality when using food packaged. Human beings will prevent foodborne illness
hi @dust1205  
  
this is my suggestion for you:  
1. do not make contrasted in writing: ~~it's~~ it is  
2. ... because it's **very practical**: for the next sentence, it is better to explain more why the packaging being practical as I think the second and the third sentence are redundant.  
  
3. the same case with "it's extremely convenient" why this item convenient to use in the next paragraph
## **TECHNOLOGY vs FREE EDUCATION**

  
  
***Some people think that introducing new technology can improve people's quality of life in developing countries. However, others believe that free education should be offered. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.***  
  
Opinions differ as to whether advanced technology or free education should be offered to increase the life quality of citizens living in developing countries. This essay will discuss both sides of the argument and deliver a personal view.  
  
To start with, people's life can indeed be improved by high technology. Since the introduction of the internet, citizens of developing countries have been enabled to regain connection to their relatives from far. Unlike in the past, individuals are now able to see their family members more frequently without spending time and money in traveling. Obviously, people are happier when they see their children every day. Furthermore, the appliance of technology in the medical field has helped prevent many diseases. For example, the high rate of stage-4 cancer in developing countries has been significantly reduced since the appearance of CT scan system. Early diagnose of these diseases makes treatments easier and thus, lengthens life expectancy.  
  
On the other hand, offering education free of charge should also be considered since it raises citizens' happiness by bringing equality to society. At the moment, the vast majority of the population are not able to afford fundamental education for their children. This is an unfair situation where the poor cannot obtain knowledge to fulfill their dreams despite their capacity to learn. As a consequence, social unrest occurs. With cost-free education system, everyone has the same opportunity to study to prepare for their future. Knowing that no one is more advantageous than another, citizens will accept their background, start studying for their own sakes and become happier.  
  
In my opinion, giving out the study opportunity to all citizens in developing countries should be considered first. This is because, as of now, a massive number of poor children have a low living condition as they do not have a fair chance to learn and earn a better life.  
  
In conclusion, while advanced technology is no doubt beneficial to individuals' quality of life, offering free education should be considered first for its wide-range effect.
## Human longevity is increasing over time

  
  
In the modern world, with the advance of technology, the expectancy of human is gradually increasing. Most people suppose that this tendency is positive, but it has also affected individuals and society. Our essay will show a general view including some disadvantages about this problem. It also suggests some of the solutions to this issue.  
  
Firstly, increasing life expectancy is believed to put pressure on the healthcare system. Nowadays, medical researchers tend to study on how to reduce the causes of deaths rather than how to deal with age-related problems which are consequences of living longer. According to Brown (2014), more than 80% over 85- year-old people living in UK suffered from disability and 41% people between at the age of 90 and 94 had a dementia, whereas the average lifespan was twice as high as that in the 20th century. Moreover, this increase can also be a factor causing to the lack of nurses and care workers. Families in developed countries today are having less time to look after the elderly (Sigurðsson, 2017), so nurses and other healthcare services, which are insufficient to meet their demand, are undoubtedly in need.  
  
Secondly, it affects the economy, there is an evidence showing that the rise in life expectancy can cause to several issues in term of shrinking labor markets and rising government expenditure. Additionally, the public spending on healthcare has definitely risen due to the need of the elderly people. Brown(2014) wrote: "Age-related spending by EU governnment was equivalent to 25% of GDP in 2010, and is projected to rise to 30% in 2060". Therefore, the increase life expectancy would be challenge for governments to address.  
  
To solve these matters, there are two main solutions. First, thanks to the technology such as robot and camera, the healthcare system has been improved substantially. For instance, the elderly patients can be checked regularly and remotely without having to see the doctor directly (Sigurðsson, 2017). Furthermore, volunteerism is another effective solution to reduce not only the number of careworkers but also the government expenditure. In fact, Sigurðsson (2017) claimed that Japan has not had to spend the intense expenditure on building nursing home because millions of trained volunteers can take charge of being as nurses.  
  
In conclusion, it's undoubted that increasing average life expectancy is a positive trend However, it also has some affects to health system and economy; therefore; governments should have immediate actions to solve this issue.
Please include the prompt in your post so readers assess whether you're actually on track or not. Personally, I can't tell if your answers are relevant.  
  
Don't say 'Our essay' because you're the only one who writes the test.  
This essay provides a lot of research and citation which I don't think you'll have enough time to think of in real test condition. I can never browse my brain for any number or name to put in my essay. So, try to limit examples to general facts.
## the formula for happiness

  
  
**Most people agree that money cannot buy happiness. Why is happiness difficult to define? How people achieve happiness?**  
  
It is considered by most people that happiness does not come from money, and this feeling is completely baffling to generalize as desires of each individual never have a limit level. Identifying the meaning of life could be one of the feasible ways to be happier.  
  
Admittedly, the difficulty to make a general definition of satisfaction is affected by the abundance of people interests varying over time. This is led by the countless choices that modern life offers in many aspects causing less satisfied from the unfavorable conditions compared to others, and it will happen continuously even after they achieve their past goals. For example, poor families sometimes feel envy with wealthy people who have a spacious home with luxury facilities in there, but the rich still feels dissatisfied and competes buying limited branded goods for higher status. Therefore, happiness only lasts in a short period of time and then back in the starting condition onwards.  
  
What will people do to face with dissatisfaction? Every person should realize the fortune obtained and learn to love self-superiority and shortcoming. This can be done by writing down five grateful notes during a day, and by implementing this action, happiness will come together as self-assessment succeed to make them aware they are good enough to do the best in life. For example, a disabled man who lost his legs in whole lifetime achieves a reward for his invention in the telecommunication field. He even can serve his daily needs, such as cooking and doing laundry and includes swimming every weekend. When he was interrogated, he said that being positive thinking was the key to survive and feel joy. Therefore, there is no need to be the richest or the most influenced people in the world to be happy as it is created from our suggestion.  
  
In conclusion, a positive suggestion makes happiness becoming a must feeling to address a failure or unwillingness situation.