dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
Hi,  
just my opinion and suggestion to better your essay.  
In the Introduction, it should be " due to heavy destruction"  
In the Body, you should write " solid economic development CAUSING detrimental...", which is Reduced relative clause in order not to create run-on sentences. And you wrote " However, not only...". "However" is supposed to show the contrast between two ideas or sentences but you're supporting the idea " natural resources have been exploited daily". It should be omitted  
  
Good luck
i'm learning IELTS at home and i'm bad at writing skill. I really appropriate that you give me feedback. Many thanks, amazing people  
  
## learning alone on with a company

  
  
TOPIC: Some people believed that students should study at school are better than studying in group . However, others argue that student study at school are better than they study on their own, Discuss both view and give your opinion.  
  
At school, every students have their own way to study like learning by myself on learning in a group, While some people think that it's better for student to learn independently. I agree that learning in a group has more beneficial.  
  
On the one hand, it is believed that no sooner on later,young people will have to work independent so school should use learning for their own method, Children will able to solve the problem by myself and they can have their own experiment after the mistake, In addition, it take less time in studying alone than studying in a group . For more details, pupil who can finish the exercise fast can learn more than the one with slow speed. this way is very flexibel for both teacher and students to save the time and study in variety of ability.  
  
On the other hand, teamwork is one of necessary skill in every job, it is better to prepare that skill since children have learned in school. In a group, pupils not only learning from the teacher with their teaching but also learning from friends. They can heard difference viewpoint in one problem so that have the best solution for themself. For instance, in one math exercise, there are many ways to demonstrate by every participants in a group. After dicussing they will have the best method for the exercise. In that case, every students can learn at the same time and in difference viewpoint. Futhermore, it can improve critical thinking skill for students  
  
All in all, although learning by their own bring back individual benefit, it seems to me that learning in a group have more pracical skill in recent way
*Please feel free to advise. Thank you!*  
  
## KNOWLEDGE FROM A WEBSITE?

  
  
**It is generally believed that the Internet is an excellent means of communication but some people suggest that it may not be the best place to find information. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.**  
  
Using the Internet to connect with each other has brought a new aspect to the world, comparing to the main communication method 100 years ago. Although the Internet has its advantages, people still have doubts on whether the information provided is trustworthy. The essay is going to discuss how the Internet has shaped our lives.  
  
With the Internet attached closely to our daily lives, people are able to expand their social circle and broaden the horizon. Nowadays, reaching out to others is simply a click on the phone to make it happen. Moreover, people who share common interests can find their ways to bond even they are thousand miles apart from each other. From reasons listed above, I think the Internet has brought a positive influence to the world.  
  
On the contrary, exploding information comes along with the growth of the Internet usage, people tend to hold a conservative attitude towards the reliability. Take the US election for example, people with intention spread fake news all over the Internet to manipulate the public, which can be extremely wrong but neither precautions were executed in advance nor any regulations are established afterwards.  
  
The evolution of the Internet somehow has brought the world together in a way. Despite having a more convenient life today, there are two sides of the same coin and it is important that people keep this in mind. To keep up with the ever-changing nature of technology, it requires people to think ahead of the future challenges and take appropriate actions.
## news from internet or from newspapers?

  
  
In recent years, the number of paper based news so called newspaper publication was being reduced due to increasing trend of online news like CNN, BBC and so on. What causes this thing that makes the number of newspaper being reduced and increasing the online news? What are the benefits of online news? I am going to explain what these benefits are below.  
  
Why online news are more popular than newspaper? The convenience, you can read ten more news by only using one cellphone, notebook or other mobiled devices online and don't need to feel disrupted that where you should storage the lacks of newpapers. Moreover, you can bring it to anywhere you want because the news are all include in one mobiled device.  
  
Second, the updating speed. The online news updating is instant. For example, once the earth quake happened, this situation may instantly show on online news, and newspaper don't have this benefit. Third, no paper used. The online news not like newspapers, don't need to process by cut down trees and became waste after read it. The online news is more eco-friendly than newspaper because of no paper-used.  
  
Online news have so many benefits that causes the increasing trend of it. I hope one day in the future online news will replace all the newspaper for protect the environment.
## human jobs to be overtaken by robots

  
  
*Please feel free to advise. Thank you!*  
  
**Some people believe that eventually all jobs will be done by artificial intelligent robots. What is your opinion?**  
  
It is argued that most occupations will be replaced by artificial intelligent robots in the future. Although it is highly possible that only easy jobs will be substituted by robots, while the ones require human relations remain the same. The essay will discuss the reasons why only particular jobs will be done by machines.  
  
Robots might eventually replace all tasks that do not require specific and complex human skills. A lot of companies will choose artificial intelligence over human labor due to the fact that is costs less than hiring, training and employing human. For instance, supermarkets in the UK have automatic machines set up to replace cashiers, which is less expensive. Moreover, robots do not require holidays. From above reasons, we know that some jobs will be replaced by robots.  
  
Alternatively, there are some jobs that can never be replaced by robots since the skills required are irreplaceable. Robots will not be able to take over jobs that require humanity, which was being developed through every one's personal experience and interaction with other people growing up. Such as psychological consultants and professors and doctors. Robots will never achieve what took human being many thousands of years of evolution to achieve.  
  
Some people believe it is very likely that jobs require human resource will be overtaken by robots. Whereas, jobs that require certain and complicated skills need human intelligence and efforts. Ultimately, it is clear that very less human jobs will be safe because of the increase of artificial intelligent robots from now on.
@lichien0422  
Hello there. I'll provide you with writing feedback on your writing.  
  
Firstly, try to paraphrase your words to have a more appropriate tone in your language. This will help you curate an educational tone that'll be more appropriate for your overall structure.  
  
Furthermore, your writing is quite put-together. The logical links were all present in the language, making the essay explicitly well-done. You were also able to integrate examples that helped the essay progress effectively.  
  
Try to focus next time on creating shorter and more concise sentences. If you do this, you'll be able to have more space to curate long-form, meaningful essays.  
  
Best of luck as always.
## Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school program

  
  
Today, it is certain that the community service is becoming more popular in children and plays one of the crucial roles in providing new different skills. That is why, some people said that it should be a compulsory thing in high schools. In this essay, I will discuss why I agree with this statement, providing some examples.  
  
One of the main reason why I agree with the unpaid community services should be compulsory in high schools is that the students will have more opportunities to broaden their horizons. By working at there, they can get different knowledge and experience and then they can contribute them back to the younger children. Before starting their career, the high school students can learn them practically particularly in how to adapt with the new environment and people. It leads them to be ready for working in new area after finishing their high school life.  
  
Moreover, the students can learn new skills especially in cooperative and problem-solving skills, which are very essential throughout of their life. If you are working for a charity, you have to deal with other members and so, u will have a chance to learn how the teamwork is. Furthermore, you might face some problems and difficulties during working at community services. If so, you will acquire the knowledge of how to solve the problems and overcome difficulties in life.  
  
However, some parents think that it is a waste of time for their children. They are worried that there might have some impacts in studying of school subjects. But in this circumstances, these volunteer works should be done during summer holidays or gap year.  
  
In conclusion, unpaid community service can be helpful and effective for high school students before going to work. It provides them to get precious knowledge , experience and skills which are always needed in the future. In my view, it should be a part of compulsory in high school programmes in order to occur better human resources in the future.
@Cherry may  
Hello.  
  
Welcome to the forum. I hope that you find the feedback you are looking for here. I'll be providing you with writing feedback.  
  
Try to not overburden your sentences. If you can simplify a sentence, please opt to do so as this not only saves space in your writing, but this will also help your message not be lost in its meaning. For instance, your second paragraph's first sentence can be rewritten as: "One of the reasons of my agreement with the topic is that students would broaden their opportunities." Notice how it's the same meaning but told in a shorter, more concise manner. Stick to this if you can.  
  
Try to implement this technique throughout your writing.  
  
Best of luck as always.
## writing task 1 in Ielts examination

  
  
**The three pie charts below show the changes in annual spending by local authorities in Someland in 1980, 1990 and 2000.  
  
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.  
Write at least 150 words.**  
  
The three pie charts illustrates how much money spent on a variety of social spheres by local authorities in Someland in three separate years: 1980, 1990 and 2000  
  
Overall, the money invested in higher education, transportation and enviromental services witnessed an upward trend, while there were corresponding drops in expenditure on K12 education, health and human resources and other aspects.  
  
In all three years, higher education remained the largest proportion of total expenditure, increasing from 35% to 40%. Similarly, despite haiving plummeted by 10% in 1990, the financial support for transportation recovered and rose markedly to 22% .Additionally, the money allocated to environemtal services also experienced a considerable growth, initially standing at 4% and ended at 9%.  
  
In contrast, the money spent on K12 education saw an opposite trend. In 1980, K12 education accounted for the second largest proportion of total expenditure, but ten years later, the amount of money invested in this filed declined significantly by 7%. Similar to K12 education's trend, having reached a peak in 1990, the expenditure on health and human resources decreased dramatically to 10%, a half in 1990.  
  
*
@buianhhong  
Hi there. Welcome to the forum. I hope you find the feedback you're looking for here.  
  
Firstly, the composition you have right here is quite well-done. I think your straightforward and technical approach is effective in relaying the information you had here. Your interpretations are also quite put-together.  
  
I would only suggest that you try to minimize the excessive usage of filler transition words as they can be too much at times. Try to opt for more organic transitions along the way as it can save space for your essay writing.  
  
I would also suggest revising some portions to enable you to make formal the language you have.  
  
Best of luck as always.
## IELTS writing task 2 - petrol price

  
  
**Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems.  
To what extent do you agree or disagree?  
What other measures do you think might be effective?**  
  
Growing traffic and pollution are serious problems nowadays. Personally, I completely disagree with the opinion that increasing petrol's price would solve those problems and believe that other measures would be more constructive.  
  
To begin with, there are two reasons why I would argue against increasing price of petrol. Firstly, when the petrol's price is higher, people will start using less petrol and therefore, this energy industry will be affected. Because of this, the economy of many countries might struggle due to the fact that petrol is an important industry in many nations. For example, middle east countries might have huge loss if people stop using petrol since petrol is their most important export industry. Secondly, increasing petrol price will affect citizens' lives and raise living expenses. For example, in my country, people use petrol to cook food and therefore, food price will be increased.  
  
In my view, there are some alternatives that are more effective than raising petrol cost. The first solution is investing more in public transportation and infrastructure. For example, governments could open new bus routes to meet people's demand of travelling and commuting, which will help reducing cars on road and greenhouse gas emissions. Another solution is encouraging people to work from home through internet. This will reduce the numbers of commuters and avoid traffic jams at rush hours.  
  
In conclusion, I disagree with the idea of increasing petrol price to solve traffic or pollution problems and believe other measures such as public transportation and home working will be more beneficial.
Hi @linhchin!  
I`ll try my best to help you. First and foremost, you should be careful about the words you use while expressing your own ideas. For example, "when the petrol's price is higher, people **will start** using less petrol and therefore, this energy industry **will be affected** " : unless you have a strong evidence, try to use expressions that sound less certain, such as "may start, can be affected".  
  
Besides, I think the essay is well-ordered. But, in the second paragraph, you haven`t developed your second reason. It seems incomplete to me.  
  
Here are some corrections from me:  
~~Because of this,~~ the economy of many ... petrol is ~~an important ... nations~~ the main source of their national income.  
  
since petroleum industry is ~~their most ... industry~~ one of the biggest exports earner in this region.  
  
...food price will ~~be~~  increase~~d~~.
@linhchin  
Hello there. I'll provide you with writing feedback.  
  
I find that, overall, your language is quite put together. You were able to relay the meaning effectively. Additionally, you had quite a packed substance for your words. Because of this, you had a logical approach to writing.  
  
Try to just organize your sentences. Try to separate your long-form sentences and phrases to curate more substantive and concise structures. This will help you save space in your essay.  
  
The second paragraph is quite crowded already. There's an excessive usage of examples. Try to stick to one argument and/or line of thought to help you in your essay.  
  
Best of luck as always.
Write about the following topic.  
*Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid.*  
  
*To what extent do you agree or disagree?*  
  
## Solutions to Global Poverty

  
  
In the world, a distance among developed and developing countries is more and more enormous. Therefore, residents in rich areas have a tendency to give a lot of kind of supports for the rest countries without providing them money. From my perspectives, I agree with that view and will explain out my several compelling reasons.  
  
On the one hand, relief people staying in the poor regions is completely crucial. Citizens there will provide a lot of latest facilities or equiments, which is to enhance and better their lives. They not only have more knowledge and special skills but also comforts may be existed in living standard in the future. Let take a typical example, imaging that artificial intelligence have never existed before in their work leading to maintaining poverty situation, however, when applying hi-tech, products are manufactured tremendously and make works more efficient. Additionally, the rich will control items they gave instead of fearing the poor waste their money in insignificant activities.  
  
On the other hand, I quite disagree with that view due to the fact that donating many things with the exception of money is meaningless. In some cases, people need cash in emergencies such as accidents or diseases. So, the relief from the rich become barking up the wrong tree, which these things may be useless. Moreover, they even do not enable to buy their most essential things while a numerous unexcepted things are provided.  
  
In conclusion, from many ideas mentioned, I think people, especially the wealthy, should have more solutions when having an donative intention. People also should concern about the things we give in many different situations.
Hi @thaivo, your essay consists of quite a lot of mistakes. To name a few:  
"In the world, ~~a~~ **the** distance ~~among~~ **between** developed ... is **becoming** more ..."  
"a lot of **kinds** of support~~s~~"  
"the rest countries"  
"From my perspective~~s~~"  
"will explain ~~out~~ my several ..."  
  
In some sentences the meaning is not very clear:  
"..., relief people ... is completely crucial."  
"... but also comforts may be existed ..."  
  
Your third paragragh requires more supporting ideas. And don't use idioms if you are not sure how. I suggest you work on your vocabulary so you may apply more academic words in your essays. And keep practicing your writing!
@thaivo  
Hello there. I'll provide you with feedback on your writing.  
  
Firstly, try to use more technically appropriate words in replacement for the casual language. This will help you curate a more academic language for your writing. For instance, the phrase "*more and more*" can be replaced with the word *increasing.* Both have the same meaning, however the latter is more appropriate. Keep this in mind.  
  
Aside from that, your grasp of language is decent. You had logical links with examples that are put-together and effective in relaying the information you have. Try to just maximize the space you have in your essay.  
  
Best of luck as always.
(Please review my essay and feel free to give some comments on it. Thanks a lot ^\_^)  
  
## THE INVENTION OF INTERNET HAS HAD NEGATIVE EFFECTS ON OUR CIVILIZATION

  
  
These days, Internet is becoming more and more popular in people's daily lives. Despite the advantages that the Internet offers, there are still some drawbacks existing that affect people strongly and negatively. So, I'm going to outline some specific reasons and examples in this following essay.  
  
First of all, after the Internet has been invented, people started to rely on it to communicate with each other. Little by little, Internet has made the distance between people in our society become apart. We're now used to contacting through social media and refuse to talk face-to-face. In fact, Internet has decreased the oppotunity for people to meet each other. For many, it seems convenient, but actually people cannot really have fun as meeting in real life.  
  
Secondly, children are becoming passive because of Internet. Years ago, without Internet or electrical goods, children used to create their own games to play together. They would go outside, discover new things of nature, read books, or even help their mothers with the homework. But now, after coming back home from school, most of them go straight to the room, then play video games or have conversations with their friends on the Internet in lieu of having a chat with their parents. Day by day, interacting with Internet too much has destroyed creativities of children and has prevented them from growing up naturally.  
  
Finally, the Internet has opened a new place for the criminals to do bad things. A new kind of criminals named "Hacker" has been existed with the bad purpose of stealing people's money or spreading virus from computer to computer. They even spread gossips, unfounded criticism and steal your personal information,  
  
To sum up, with the appearance of the Internet, it has brought many issues for rhe society. I believe that we are relying on it too much and even overlooking the good things in our daily life. It's high tine for us to stop this and using Internet properly and effectively should be well-consider by humans in our society
@Annie Kristin  
Hello there. Welcome to the forum. I'll provide you with feedback to assist you in your writing.  
  
I would firstly suggest trying to maximize the space you have in your essay through the removal of unnecessary filler words. For instance, evade adding "*some*" in portions wherein you could do well without it. Try to also evade linking together synonymous words to maximize the space you have.  
  
Secondly, try to also use more concrete examples. By having more real-life examples, you'll be able to curate more meaningful content as it would have a backbone to rely on.  
  
Best of luck as always.