dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
## the Global Ignorance

  
  
**People have little understanding of the importance of the natural world. What are the reasons for this, and how can people learn more about the natural world?**  
  
Given the fact that how vital the natural surroundings is of public ignorance. This can stem from many causes, which calls for possible solutions to be adopted.  
  
There are several rationales in charge of this unawareness, the most significant of which are environmental degradation and side effects of advanced technology. As for the former, nature deterioration precludes people from getting exposed to the natural world in these days. Such factors related to pollution as excessive use of non- biodegradable materials and natural resources exploitation have been eradicating numerous tracts of forests and wildernesses, which leads to the constraint of having insight into biodiversity as well as the fear of health-related problems deprived of many forms of contamination among citizens. Moreover, another cause could be the adverse consequences of modern technology. Indeed, sedentary lifestyle and obsession with social network resulting in the misuse of technology discourage human from unfolding even the most fundamental aspects of their nearby environment. As a result, not only will people lose interest in exploring the outside world but they will also disregard the considerable part of the natural environment.  
  
There are several measures which can be taken to solve this issue. To begin with, the government can impose in earnest stringent laws and environmental - alleviating policies to combat pollution and habitat devastation. This can be done by heavily punishing individuals and organizations that discharge raw sewage and unprocessed pollutants into nature, carried out jointly with rejuvenating stretches of forest. Another solution could be for people themselves to wisely make use of contemporary technology. This encourages human to play an active role in suitably allocating the amount of time gluing to the high-tech devices and having general knowledge about nature the world over.  
  
In conclusion, neglecting the vitality of ecology results from many causes, and there are several actions that can be taken to address this issue.
## the value of language

  
  
In the modern world, some languages die out in every years. Some people think that our life will be easier if we do not have so many different languages in the world. I partly agree this opinion.  
  
Students do not have to learn about many different languages if there are fewer languages. They can spend more time on their interesting subjects such as math, statistics and music. Students will have no pressure on learning many different languages because we are familiar with our native language and it is difficult to restart from a brand new grammar or vocabulary . Also, fewer languages in the world might be helpful to employees' efficiency. Employees would not be asked for enhancing their ability of multi-languages when they are out of work. They can also concentrate on their domain knowledge instead of learning another different languages.  
  
On the other hand, several languages die out every years may cause some problems. Every languages have their own culture and history. People all over the world could learn some interesting details or historic stories from these languages. Some of they might fulfill with much wisdom advice and meaningful information. However, we could also have fun through these languages. For example, people can realize some historic fine art or words by different languages.  
  
In conclusion, although I agree that our life will be easier if there are fewer languages in the world, I believe that it is important for us to prevent some meaningful languages which are crowded with much historic stories and details.
## Australian Household Energy Use

  
  
***The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emission which result from this energy use.  
  
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.***  
  
The pie charts give information about the proportion of energy used by Australian houses in six distinct categories and the relative amount of greenhouse gas emitted from each category.  
  
Overall, most of the energy is utilized for heating purposes, which together accounts for more than half of total energy use, while cooling spends the least amount of energy. Similar to the energy use, heating processes are the biggest contributor of greenhouse gas.  
  
From the first pie chart, heating and water heating is by far the most important means of energy use, with 42% and 30% respectively. Cooling purposes, such as cooling and refrigeration, uses only tiny amount of energy, less than 10% collectively. A similar figure also used for lamps. Other appliances accounts for 15% of total energy use.  
  
However, the second pie chart shows different figures for greenhouse gas emitted by each sectors. Heating processes still serve at first place with 47% greenhouse gas, but water heating contributes more with the figure of 32%. Other appliances emits 28% of the gas, which is significantly lower than the use proportion. Refrigeration and lighting also showed higher figure compared to the utilization. On the other hand, cooling process only contributes for a negligible amount of greenhouse gas.  
  
(206 words)  
  
*I look forward for your corrections and suggestions. Thanks in advance ^^*  
  
*
@shellawillyam  
Hello there. Welcome to the forum. I'll be providing you with writing feedback on this content.  
  
Other than that, overall, I cannot see any fundamental or immense writing mistakes when it comes to the technicality of your grammar. I would therefore focus more on the structure, organization, and general composition of your text as these aspects can be improved throughout time. For instance, instead of merely mentioning all of the figures as they are presented in the graphs, try to curate more of an in-depth analysis on the matter by having your own interpretation of the data provided. This technique will help you go beyond a descriptive text.  
  
Best of luck.
## Do mass media influence public opinion?

  
  
*Whoever controls the media also controls opinions and attitudes of the people and there is little can be done to rectify this.  
To what extend do you agree or disagree?*  
  
My essay:  
  
Under capitalism, most of the main medium is usually controlled by mega-corporations. However, there are some exclusions, especially when a country is in danger of existence, the media is seized by government thoroughly. In my opinion, people are easily affected by those media in terms of their thoughts and minds.  
  
Nowadays, there are numerous medium, presented by different companies, describing their news on their understanding. Although the media should represent as the fourth estate in a country, each media has more or less its political affiliation. Hence, the audiences can choose the channel which they trust, or more accurately they prefer. Personally, I read the online news from the independent publishers, as they seem to be more neutral than the mainstream media to me. Either the main media or the independent ones, they are all sharing their ideas which their target audiences are willing to accept and absorb it.  
  
In some particular cases, such as war, the government would ban the freedom of speech and publish. Back to the '70s in Taiwan, there were only 3 news channels broadcasted over the entire country due to the unstable political situation. The news contents were limited and restricted, moreover, those favored the government. Needless to say, the opinions were solely and monotonous. Taking my parents as an example, those notions, conveyed by the government at that time, are still wired deeply in their brains.  
  
In conclusion, the influence of media is massive that almost no one can stay unaffected from it.  
  
Thanks for reviewing. I'm sitting IELTS exam in near future. It would be nice to have some advice from others. :)
@jocelyn wang  
Hello there. Welcome to the forum. I hope I can provide you with the assistance you are looking for in the future.  
  
Overall, your writing is put-together. I can only suggest trying to evade being overtly complex at times when it comes to relaying information. Remember that your primary goal is to ensure that you are being understood. If you can, evade using too many technical terms and boil everything down to an understandable commonplace perspective. This will help you focus more on depth rather than anything else.  
  
Other than that, the usage of example is quite effective. You have quite a handy grasp of the language, so a bit of work will be alright.  
  
Best of luck as always. quotes
## WRITING TASK 1 - IELTS CAMBRIDGE 9 - TEST 1 - MAPS comparison

  
  
Hello, I am starting to practise IELTS test in Cambridge book. I wrote this essay. I hope to give feedback from you guys to be able to improve my writing. Thanks a lots!  
  
***" The two maps below show an island, before and after the construction of some tourist facilities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main feartures, and make comparisons where relevant"***  
  
These diagrams illustrate how an island developed during the period. In general, there were dramatic changes in this area.  
  
In the first map, it can be seen that it was a pristine island with some palm trees dotted around and is surrounded by sea. There also was a beach to the west of the island.  
  
To turn to the second map, the island was totally transformed with the addition of facilities. There has been 6 buildings with footpaths which have been constructed on the west and 9 buildings have been in the center of the island. Between two accommodation areas are a reception and a restaurant with vehicle tracks. However, the easten part of the island has been remained undeveloped.  
  
In addition, the coast of the island has considerably changed. To the south, a pier has been erected with yachts travelling around the resort. The beach in the west of island has been added a swimming area for tourists.  
  
*
@thanhtra22  
Hello there. Welcome to the forum. I'll provide you with writing feedback that I hope will be somewhat beneficial for your writing.  
  
I suggest simplifying first and foremost your descriptions. By doing this, you are making more space for in-depth analysis and content that's interpretative as opposed to merely descriptive. Doing this will also help you have more meaning to your text.  
  
Try to also be cautious of the tone of your language and its formality, especially when you're making transitions between sentences and paragraphs. Always try to strike a balance when you're writing.  
  
Remember that this is an academic text, therefore it warrants a particular level of writing.  
  
Best of luck.
## the percentage of housing owned and rented in the UK in 1991 and 2007

  
  
The pie charts compare home ownership and renting for 1991 and 2007 in percentage term in the UK.  
  
Overall, home ownership was the most significant part of five types and social housing contributed the least in the UK of all homes  
  
Looking the pie charts, the number of housing owned was amount of 55% and 65% in 1991 and 2007 respectively. This is an increase approximately 10% compared with 1991. At the beginning, there were about 15% of private renting and in 2007, it is accounted for nearly 15% . This is no change about the million homes in UK at two period.  
  
In 1991, the percentage of social renting is approximately 25%. However, there were 15% of house which is rented by the social.This is an decreased about 10% of social renting compared with 2007. Social housing has decreased three-fold from 6% in 1991 to 2% in 2007, and it remains the least popular type of housing.
@tuan26816  
Hello there. Welcome to the forum. Next time, it would be helpful to provide the charts or graphs to assist us in providing you with feedback on your writing. Regardless, I'm going to try my best!  
  
The first two paragraphs can be merged to form a more concrete introductory paragraph. Try to also separate your thoughts altogether. For instance, if a line can be divided into two separate lines,opt for two lines. This will help you simplify your sentences, making your overall structure easier to work with.  
  
Furthermore, try to also ensure that your tone is consistently formal. You can do this through making sure that your articles are in proper placement - and that you're not using informal words throughout.  
  
Best of luck.
## obesity in australia

  
  
The given diagram details the proportion of people who excess their weight live in Australia in both genders male and female between 1980 and 2010.  
Overall, it is clear that the number of overweight men and women experienced an upward trend; additionally, the data for the female is always higher than that of the male during the 30- year period.  
  
In the first 10 years, the percentage of Australian unfit men recorded a rise, by 8%. Although commencing with only 31%, the figures for female closely followed that of male, seeing a rise to roughly 45%. In 2000, the number of fat men and women in Australia was registered as the highest figures in comparison to the remaining years. There was a moderate escalation in the number of overweight Australian men, with almost one- fifth higher than that of the prior ten years. Similarly, the proportion of unfit women climbed to over 50%.  
  
From 2000 to 2010, on the other hand, just about 60% of males excessing weight were recorded in 2010, which was 5% lower than that in 2000 while the figures for women remained unchanged after a period of ten years.  
  
*
hi.i will just give you some hints to make your essay perfect:  
1-try to go on more details.you did not tell the exact proportions or specific details about years between 200 and 2010.  
2-in the first sentece you said women number were always more than females which is not correct.  
3-make your essay longer to make sure it reachs to the amount of words they want from you.  
goodluck
## number of holiday days depended from a job type?

  
  
*Some say that people working in different job roles should get different amount of holiday time. Do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion and examples from your own experience.*  
  
Some people think that the number of holiday days should vary according to occupations, which is based on the assumption that some of them are more demanding than the others. But, I believe we need to adopt a more egalitarian approach in workplaces.  
  
Firstly, the amount of time off one needs is quite subjective. So, any decision can lead to the disputes among workers. Most employees tend to regard their own jobs more exhausting than that of others`. Also, some of them might get tired easily, because they do almost the same things every day. For example, although I enjoyed my previous job, it became monotonous after several months. So, I needed to take a break in order to make it exciting again. Besides, mentally demanding jobs can be as hard as physically demanding ones. That is why it is difficult to determine which kinds of occupations deserve more vacation.  
  
Secondly, when people take less holiday they may not be able to fully restore their energy. At the same time, the ones who get more time off can find it hard to readapt to the work. Both can have a negative impact on the productivity and the motivation of employees. So, I think there is an average time limit in which employees may regain their energy and still conform to the workplace quickly. This limit can have slight variations from person to person, but it is usually the same for majority. Therefore, there is no need to discriminate people on the grounds of their job positions. It would be better to apply the same sufficient amount of holiday time which will satisfy nearly everybody.  
  
In conclusion, I disagree that different occupations should be entitled to different number of holiday days, because it is arguable which job roles deserve more of them. Also, it can negatively affect the overall performance of workers, even the ones who get more holiday entitlement than others.
## history - one of the most important subjects to study?

  
  
In today's fast changing world, some people argue that history is of great importance in school. However, others claim that subjects such as science and technology play more vital roles than history. Both viewpoints will be discussed and critically evaluated before a final conclusion is drawn.  
  
On the on hand, there are plausible reasons why history is crucially important . To begin with, people usually enrich their knowledge through experience of their ancestors which is absolutely indispensable. Therefore, it is useful for people not to make regrettable mistakes and cultivate their critical thinking. In addition, because history is the foundation of human civilization, it is essential for people, especially the next generations, to have a mutual understanding of cultural and traditional customs . For this reason, people have a tendency to embrace and commemorate the services of soldiers who protect the countries from invaders.  
  
On the other hand, other people argue that people should make investment in science and technology. Obviously, with the advent of high-tech devices, scientific and technological subjects can provide students with necessary skills in order to have access to the updated information. Furthermore, it is undoubted that the substantial growth of jobs related to computer skills meet people's requirement because they are highly demanded. Consequently, more and more job seekers apply for IT jobs or scientific research. For instance, it is reported that the number of people who work in technological company... are growing in popularity due to the advancement of industrialization and modernization.  
  
In conclusion, every subjects has it own merits and demerits. From my perspective, the possibility of two opinions can be reconciled and people should find the right balance between history and subjects like science and technology. People should take advantage of them
## health and solutions

  
  
**In some countries, the average weight of people is increasing and their level of health and fitness is decreasing.  
What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?**  
  
It is true that the weight of people in many countries is increasing and their health condition is getting worse in recent years. There a variety of possible reasons for this, but some measures can be taken to tackle the problem.  
  
In my opinion, there are two main reasons to blame for the bad health condition of people nowadays. Firstly, modern citizens tend to they eat more fast foods since they are living busy and hectic lives and do not have enough time to cook. These processed foods often include high amount of fat and cholesterol, which can lead to obesity and cardiovascular diseases. Secondly, many people these days live a sedentary, lazy lifestyle. Instead of going out or playing sports, they may prefer sitting at home watching television and surfing the internet. As a result, they do not get enough exercise and might have serious health problems such as diabetes.  
  
However, the problem can be solved easily by changing some small habits. I believe that the change must start with meals, which need to be fresh and nutritious. People should have home-cooked food with wide range of vegetables and fruits, even when they are busy. In addition, exercises on a regular basis should also be taken. This may include simple activities such as dog-walking, riding bike to work or jogging in the morning. If people more spend time on going out than using phones, their health can be noticeably improved.  
  
In conclusion, citizens' health condition will continue to deteriorate unless they change their unhealthy habits themselves.
Hi @linhchin! I`ll try my best to help you.  
  
Let`s begin with your introduction. Instead of "It is true that the weight of people ..." , you might say: " Weight gain has become a growing concern among the populations of many countries in recent years" For me, this sounds stronger.  
  
In the second paragraph, "... to blame for the bad health condition" here "bad health" is too general. There are various forms of bad health. And you are supposed to explain the weight gain specifically.  
  
Try to avoid the words with similar meanings that does not add any value to a sentence. For example, ".. live a sedentary, ~~lazy~~  lifestyle.."  
  
Finally, you can improve the conclusion by efficiently summarizing the reasons and solutions given by you in the main paragraphs. "In conclusion, citizens' health condition will ..." This sentence looks more like an alternative idea or a prediction rather than conclusion.
Hi, it's just my suggestion to help your essay better.  
In the Body,  
+"Firstly, modern citizens tend to ..." should be rewritten as " Firstly, in the hustle and bustle of life, day by day citizens tend to choose fast foods as their main dish...  
  
+ "Secondly, many people these days ... As a result..." should be written as " Secondly, many people these days live a sedentary lifestyle. They prefer sitting at home watching television and surfing the internet to playing sports or doing exercises, which increase the probability of suffering from serious health problems such as diabetes, heart attack, and stroke.  
  
Hope this helps. Good luck
## the price of the economic growth

  
  
**Some people say that economic growth is the only way to end world poverty and hunger. Others say that economic growth is damaging the environment and should stop. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.**  
  
Opinions are divided on whether the economic development has played a unique role in eliminating the world starvation and poverty or it should be stopped due to heavily destruction for the environment. Although there are vivid arguments on both sides, I think that the growth of economic might be a major priority.  
  
Those who argue that solid economic development causes detrimental influences on the environment may have convincing arguments, with respect to contamination and loss of biodiversity. In the age of modernization and globalization, factories have drastically sprung up all over the world, directly releasing gas emissions into the air and sewage into rivers. As a result, pollution has been common anywhere, especially in developing countries where many factories are located. Additionally, to meet the demand of the continuous economic progress, natural resources have been exploited daily. However, not only does this action increase the level of pollution but the habitats of many fauna and flora will be entirely destroyed as well. Actually, human beings will be impacted by the aforementioned problems including natural catastrophes and health-related problems.  
  
Nevertheless, I think it is impossible to stop the economic growth because of several reasons related to job opportunities and welfare. With regard to the former, the economic progress means numerous firms are come into being, which partly helps create more professions to deal with unemployed problems and improve people's living standards. The second point that need to be considered is that once the national economy has been flourished with the high level of gross domestic product and national income, the social welfare will be enhanced so that the governing bodies will be able to support for the poor and solve the issue of hunger. However, the most noticeable thing is that the authorities should balance the progress of economic with environmental protection, encouraging the enterprises to produce environmentally friendly products.  
  
In conclusion, it cannot be denied that the economic growth greatly contributes to the poverty and hunger eradication, but enterprises should strictly conduct the CSR (Corporate Social Responsibility) for the environment.