dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
In the first sentence, you need to use the word "or" to show the options between boarding school and day school. By the way, you will lose LR points for using cut and paste or memorized words in that sentence. You need to reword the keywords to reflect your LR ability. When you use the same words from the original presentation, you will find that you will have LR points deductions. Learn to use synonyms to help increase your LR score.  
  
Always remember to capitalize the first word of every new sentence. That is part of your GRA consideration. This is one of the few essays where a comparative discussion is actually allowed. You did a good job of transitioning into that discussion in your question response sentence.  
  
More GRA errors in your essay. You cannot and should never, under any circumstance use 2 punctuation marks one after another. That is a large GRA deduction. Either use a comma or use the ellipses. Do not use both. There is no English grammar rule that allows for that. Do not use contractions in your presentation either (There's = There is)  
  
Never pose a rhetorical question in the essay either. Simply continue with the discussion using a topic sentence at the start. The rhetorical question will not help you score any better in any category, it may even serve to create a distraction for you, which will result in a change of discussion flow in the essay. That is why it is better to avoid posing questions in any written essay.  
  
The conclusion is incomplete. You cannot use only 2 sentences, with a missing punctuation mark at the end. Properly summarize the discussion points, then present your opinion again, before you use the last 2 sentences you presented above.
## the changing opinion about a healthy lifestyle

  
  
Nowadays, there is an increase in unhealthy habits although scientists encourage a healthy lifestyle. There are some factors leading to this, and effective measures should be produced soon to tackle this issue.  
  
On the one hand, doing detrimental activities were caused by several main reasons. The first reason, with the fast pace of life and competition on job opportunities, people tend to spend more time at workplaces. As a result, they have to remain unhealthy habits such as consuming fast food to saving time, which leads to increasing the risk of certain health problems like obesity and heart diseases. The second reason, modern life with technical devices make people be addicted to watching TV, playing computer games, and surfing the Internet. For example, at the weekend people often prefer to stay at home instead of hanging out, which leads to a sedentary lifestyle.  
  
On the other hand, there are numerously feasible steps that could be used to address this issue. Firstly, it is necessary for investing in outdoor facilities such as gardening and walking paths. Because it can encourage people to participate in regular exercises and boosting a healthy lifestyle. Secondly, by setting rules of working hours, the government could restrict people from taking a great deal of time on jobs. This means that people will have time to take care of themselves and making healthier food choices.  
  
In conclusion, unhealthy habits are getting more popular because of some reasons, and there should be several appropriate solutions for this problem.
You can further improve the prompt restatement by making proper reference, using your own words, to the scientific basis of the discussion. That is missing in your presentation and could be seen as a reason to reduce your TA score. You also need to clearly state the discussion topics you will be presenting, two reasons and 2 solutions for discussion over 2 reasoning paragraphs.  
  
Using numerical ordinals in your presentation will not help you increase your TA score. It also results in an under developed topic discussion. Your presentation lacks cohesiveness and coherence due to the lack of connecting statement or sentence between the two topics. Learn how to use transitional sentences when writing cause and effect essays that require 2 topics per paragraph presentation. That is the best way to increase both your GRA and C&C score.  
  
Your concluding summary is incorrect. It should contain at least 40 words, depicting the topic, causes, and solutions, prior to your closing statement. All you have is a run on sentence that does not appropriately reflect the previous discussion. This can affect your TA score even further.
## THE NUMBER OF OLYMPIC MEDALS WON

  
  
The graphs below show the number of medals won by the top five countries in the Summer and Winter Olympics.  
  
The first bar chart illustrates the top five nations, in the Winter Olympics, achieving the highest score in terms of medals, in particular, which are gold, silver, and bronze. Whereas, the total number of Olympics medals, which won by a range of apex countries in the Summer Season, was shown in the second bar chart.  
  
Looking at the charts in detail, Norway, having around 370 medals, was recorded to be the leader of the winter race before disappeared from the ranking board in the Summer Olympics. Besides that, the US used to ranked 2 in the Winter Season before became the Summer Olympics champion with 2500 medals which far from the Second, Russia, with around 1800 ones. In addition, Germany still remained at the same stage in both Olympics surveyed above.  
  
To summarise, the Summer Olympics had a much higher number of medals than the Winter Olympics. The US, Germany, and Russia remained in the top 5 highest Olympic medals quantity achieved in the Summer and Winter.  
  
*
There is a need for you to understand that all the information presented in the Task 1 essay must be in summary form. Therefore, the summary overview should have indicated that there were 2 bar charts immediately. The type of medals given out, and the 2 Olympic seasons represented. The trending statement should also be indicated in the summary overview.  
  
You must never say "To summarize" in the task 1 presentation because the overall presentation is a summary in and of itself. Only direct statements indicating the information provided should be referenced. This is not a task 2 essay so there is no requirement to summarize or conclude the presentation.
IELTS task 2, help me with my gramma and let me know what kind of vocabulary I can put it in.  
  
## a person's worth should be only judged by social status and material possessions

  
  
This issue is a controversial on the affects the daily lives of everyone. People usually take one side over the other, despite not having any idea about the subject, But in my case I totally disagree a person's worth should be only judged by social status and material possessions. Here are the statement for my reasons below.  
  
First of all, with reference to personality, the reason why I disagree with the title is that money and power can't represent a person's personality. Simply speaking, a man who is rich doesn't mean he is also a successful man or having a good character. For instance, a rich man can be rich may because he had born in a wealthy family and all he had was from his parents.  
  
Second, honour, kindness and trust are way more important than social status and material possessions. If you date a guy who is a rich politician, but don't really care about your feeling and emotion. Obviously, he is not a good choice to married or have relationship. As a illustration, Lots of politicians had been reported on news that had been married again and again. Consequently, a person's worth shouldn't be judge by their social status and material possessions.  
  
To sum up, I would state my opinion to this issue after analyzing the three reasons again. it it truly that we shouldn't only judge a person by their social status and material possessions. So, it is sagacious to support the statement that we should understand their personality first.  
  
*
Hi,  
  
I do not really understand what does this sentence mean? In term of grammar, I think it should be written as "This issue is a controversial ~~on the~~ **which** affects the daily lives of everyone".  
  
Be careful with your comma / dot. "... subject, But in my case I..." --> "... subject. In my opinion, I ..."  
"....kindness and trust are ~~way~~ more important..."  
  
I suggest you should revise the typo and grammar once again
There is a problem with your prompt paraphrase. You are not presenting any. As a task 2 essay, your main score will come from your ability to understand the original discussion presentation, then present it in your own words. Your presentation not only omitted presenting the original discussion topic, it presented a difficult to understand paragraph presentation. There is no point to your presentation due to the lacking prompt paraphrase. Your essay will automatically fail at this point. So you have a bigger problem than just grammar and vocabulary. You have inadequate English writing (and most likely speaking ) skills that have prevented you from properly formatting and addressing the essay discussion.  
  
The discussion provided is not academic in consideration and shows a superficiality in your discussion capacity. You are not presenting an analyzed essay discussion with valid discussion points. You are just discussing based on a personal opinion, which does not really match the discussion requirements. There is no balanced discussion within the 3 reasoning paragraphs. The paragraphs should have reflected:  
  
- A stand alone public point point of view discussion of the social status and material possession consideration  
- A stand alone discussion pertaining to old fashioned values, as understood by the public  
- Your personal opinion in support of one of the two public points of view
@Ian0800  
The first paragraph should be rephrased from the question. It seems like your first paragraph did not meet the requirement. I am not an expert, but I try to rephrase the introduction for you as follows.  
  
*In modern society, the value of individuals is likely to be determined by social symbolism and personal assets. The importance of traditional merits like integrity, generosity, and reliance is fading. In my opinion, I disagree with the view due to a person's worth cannot be measured by external factors like social class roles and properties.*
## Disease information analysis

  
  
The pie charts compare the differences in the statistics on the causes of diseases between industrialized nations and developing countries.  
  
Overall, interestingly, it is clear that there is a significant contrast in the figures of the two charts.  
  
Apparently, in wealthy countries, infectious and parasitic diseases have the smallest influence on people in wealthy nations with only 1% while it accounts for 46% in poorer countries. Moreover, whereas the proportion of heart disease is just nearly one-fourth of the chart in the third world countries, in the destitute, it makes up 43% to be the second main disease. Similarly, the cancer rate in rich nations is 21% but in unwealthy countries, the percentage is only 9%. In terms of other diseases, it is obvious the highest category in developed nations as it occupies over half of the chart - 54%; nevertheless, it just has a minor effect on inhabitants of developing ones.
While I cannot advise you regarding the factual correctness of your presentation and information because of the lack of image, which is a requirement for all Task 1 essays submitted for review here, I can tell you that you have not written enough words to satisfy a higher score for your essay. The summary overview is almost totally uninformative and the trending statement does not make any sense since there is no clear subject represented in the trend. Basically, without the image, nobody can properly review your work. It leaves the reader with much more questions than answers with regards to the supposed image information. I doubt this type of writing can get you a passing score in the actual test.
Hi all,  
Please review my essay and give me your feedback  
**Task 2:**  
***Some people believe that schools should only teach children subjects which are beneficial to their future career and therefore others subjects such as music and sports are not important.  
  
## To what extent do you agree or disagree?

  
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.***  
**Answer:**  
Nowadays, the school curriculum have comprehensive coverage of different types of subjects. People argue that only those subjects which are essential to the future career of students are recommended to be taught at school while others should be removed. I strongly disagree with this opinion.  
  
There are a variety of reasons why people hold the above argument. Firstly, school syllabus is too demanding with a plethora of subjects. After attending lectures, students are required to complete an immense amount of homework or group projects which, in fact, make them feel stressful and overwhelmed. Focusing on only subjects which are beneficial to their future job relieves the burden on their shoulders and give them more time for leisure. Secondly, since students know which knowledge to be taught would help them earn money later on, they are motivated to dig deeper on it and would have a better performance in their future careers.  
  
On the other hand, I believe that some subjects such as sports and music still have a vitally important role in the development of children. Taking music and sports courses as examples. Music class helps students remove stress after intensive study hours. Research indicates that by stimulating the human brain, music also enhances people's creativity, which is a must-have skill that all jobs currently require. Another example is the advantage of sport class. By taking this class, physical conditions of students would be strengthened and their mind would be refreshed. As a result, this helps students learn better.  
  
In my conclusion, all subjects in the school curriculum have a certain role in helping students holistically develop and get better jobs in the future. None of them is considered to be non-essential.
You are being asked to provide 2 reasons to prove the extent of your disagreement with the given topic. This is a single opinion discussion that is based on the strength of your reasoning skills. You have to convince the examiner that your opinion is based on analysis and experience, but not a comparative discussion of the two opinions. Your paraphrase has accidentally made a claim in the first sentence that does not have any basis in the original discussion as provided. There is no reference to the school curriculum . That should not be included in the paraphrase. There are only 2 points for paraphrasing prior to your extent respone:  
  
1. Some people believe that schools should only teach children subjects which are beneficial to their future career  
2. Others subjects such as music and sports are not important.  
  
My next question is, Why do you strongly disagree with the opinion? Where is the reasoning outline that will help to clarify your opinion and reasoning discussion points? Without the outline, the representing response is incomplete.  
  
There is no reason to justify both discussion points in a comparison discussion as you are only asked to give valid reasons to support your point of view. Therefore, you have to present 2 disagreeing opinions that prove your point as acceptable. A comparative discussion blurs your opinion, which runs counter to the clear opinion that you presented as your formal response to the question.
## getting the most out of the working day

  
  
These are several possible ways for modern workers to maintain work-life balance. Firstly, workers are advised to manage their time effectively and to create a boundary between work and personal time. For example, each person should set aside two hours a day to pursue their passion. Furthermore, it is necessary that they are aware of what their stress trigger is. Practicing relaxation techniques or meditation  
  
is one of the most effective ways to reduce stress. The pressure at work is really harmful to our health. Finally, it is essential that modern workers maintain a healthy life which includes having 8 hours of sleep, balancing between meat and vegetables. When a worker has good mental and physical health, the industry will earn remarkably. For instance, 12.8 million working days and $12 million wouldn't have been lost had it not been for stress, sickness. To sum up, it is advisable that workers arrange a balanced schedule to reach a higher level of satisfaction in career and life
The essay feels rushed. You need an effective introduction to the topic before you present the actual discussion. This is known as the introductory paragraph. Use about 3 sentences to just introduce the topic, why you will be discussing it, and what you hope you writing can do for your reader or, offer an opinion you will be discussing in the presentation.  
  
Your current first paragraph works well or is acceptable as a second paragraph that actually discusses the topic. The problem with that paragraph, is that you do not effectively explain the two topics in the paragraph. There needs to be a clear and proper build up of your reasoning discussion based on the given topic. The topic and example alone are not enough to convince the reader to believe what you are saying.  
  
Be careful when typing. I think you prematurely hit the enter button, which separate the two presentations. I think you were aiming for a single paragraph presentation, but created 2 paragraphs instead, with one paragraph being incomplete in development and presentation. The second paragraph should have started with "finally" as you were discussing a new topic in that section. Then "To sum up" should have also been a separate paragraph as that is a concluding presentation for your discussion.
I suggest that the essay structure should be divided into 4 main paragraphs: introduction, body paragraph 1, body paragraph 2 and conclusion to make it clear and easy to follow.  
  
Here is my suggested structure:  
- Introduction: Give 2 sentences to introduce your topic.  
- Body paragraph 1: the advantage of work-life balance such as release stress, make us healthier, have time to enjoy the life,...(usually 5 sentences)  
- Body paragraph 2: the measures to assure work-life balance. You solutions are quite good so you can keep it (usually 5 sentences)  
- Conclusion: re-state your opinion
***Some people argue that individuals' freedom should be in accordance with laws and rules, otherwise, society cannot function as it should be.***  
## To what extent do you agree or disagree?

  
  
It is argued that society would perform its right function only if citizens obey their country's laws and rules. While I agree with this statement, I also think that it is still difficult to have an ideal society although individuals adhere to regulations.  
  
It is undeniable that laws play a crucial role in maintaining the political and economical stability of a nation as well as bringing a peaceful life to citizens. Firstly, the number of criminals and illegal activities would increase dramatically if people were lawless. This poses huge threats to people's peace and social security. For example, recently in Hochiminh city, a significant rise in robbery cases not only causes a loss of safe for innocent people but also seriously affects local security. Secondly, laws are effective in orienting people to moral values which are accepted as social ethic standards, helping people avoid negative consequences caused by moral degradation. Taking the law on marriage and family, for instance, adultery under this law will be heavily punished, therefore it contributes to preventing adulterous relationships as well as ensuring each family's happiness.  
  
On the other hand, I also believe not all people's compliance with the regulations and laws also allows creating a society more orderly. The reason is that in fact, there are numerous laws and rules which could be made illegally or are not suitable for the practice of human life. They would cause countless inconveniences and hassles to both citizens and authorities who follow and perform these laws. If citizens are forced to follow these laws, a country would also become an oppressive society, which makes people dissatisfied and the laws act as barriers to the development of a country and therefore society could not function as it should be.  
  
In conclusion, I reaffirm that society could not operate correctly if people do not follow laws and rules. However, I also think that a country also could not go far if laws are issued illegally or not suitable to most of the people's lives in society.
You cannot both agree and disagree with the given statement. That is clearly a non opinion which will get you a failing TA score. Why? The clarity of your opinion is missing. You have to discuss only a single opinion clearly using 2 convincing reasoning paragraphs.  
  
You have failed to discuss this essay in the required format, a measured single opinion response. This means you cannot be scored based on the given requirements. You have to review the proper approach to discussing single opinion extent essays. You can review similar discussions here to serve as your guide.  
  
Bear in mind that you are scored first, on your ability to form a solid opinion, then your ability to clearly explain the reasons for your opinion second. You clearly failed to form an opinion of the singular kind, and strongky defend it via a measured tesponse in this essay.
***Computers in school will never be able to replace the teacher.***  
## To what extent do you agree or disagree?

  
  
Nowadays, it is widely argued that teachers play an indispensable role to students even with computers' considerable advancement. This idea seems to be reasonable and I am in absolute agree with it for the following reasons.  
  
To begin with, students' self-consciousness will be never formed without teacher's assistance. To grade-school students, especially juniors can't usually know the importance of study inside out. They consider it as a grief in their life. As a result, it is strongly believed that they will be never self-aware to do their homework without teacher's strictness. However, they are at least to realize anticipated consequences unless they do it.  
  
On top of that, watching computer screen continuously will cause bad effect for students's health, especially illnesses relate to the eye. According to a recent survey, percentage of short-sighted students that can led to blindness due to abusing technology devices too much is up to 60%. In addition, these equipments also influence adversely on their nervous systems and brains.  
  
To sum up, having self-awareness and sound health are integral things so that students can open doors for their future job. For these reasons, it is clear that teachers will forever play a pivotal role in school instead of computers.