dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
Your restatement is incomplete. You do not have a reference to how fewer languages will make life easier globally. You only say that it brings ease to life. So there is a missing reference point from the original. You have a solid thesis statement presentation though so that will help pull up the TA score. You should however, make sure to represent all discussion points, keywords, and data in your restatements. Do not miss out on a single restatement presentation because your preliminary TA score will depend on it.  
  
Consider your discussion in terms of language history, you claim that if a language is wiped out, so will its knowledge and history. However, most of these are being translated to English, French, Spanish, and other languages these days. So does the culture really die? Or does it just change languages? Consider the opposition to your opinion when writing and try to defend against such counter arguments, just to prove your opinion is truly the correct and valid one. It will add to the clarity, coherence, and cohesiveness of your discussion paragraphs. It would be better if you learn to outline your discussions first, pick the simplest opinions that will not require too much of a defense or discussion so that you do not have to overthink your presentation.  
  
Your first opinion is a bit distracting and wide in discussion scope. Try to avoid such presentations. Your second discussion topic deviated from the original discussion because you suddenly shifted to "language barrier is an admittedly major obstacle". Language barrier is not the topic here, it is the extinction of native tongues. So this is more of a prompt deviation. However, the last sentence, could have been a more appropriate discussion topic as it refers to fewer languages and how it applies to the relationship, learning, and knowledge of people.
## **Computers are often argued to be the most important invention of the last hundred years**

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*To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?*  
  
Many people believe that computers are the most valuable inventions in the late 20th and early 21st century. I absolutely agree with the statement.  
  
For one thing, computers help us communicate with other people from all around the world without the restriction of place. It means that citizens could share and exchange information with people from distinct areas faster and easier. It could effectively minimize the fake news a misunderstanding caused by in-transparented information amongst cities and countries. Moreover, citizens can inspect their governments more successfully, because they could get more reliable news from other countries. It is a helpful way to combat corruption and dictatorship.  
  
I could not imagine the world without computers. They construct the modern world we lived in. A huge amount of information in industrial sectors as well as are in the personal lives are stored on serves. In terms of business, computers assist companies by making their staffs more productive. For example, employees could use excel to makes statistics without a huge amount of counting. As regards personal lives, computers also become a vital tool in several sectors, such as the controlling system of railways, banking, electricity, the arithmetic system of shopping carts.  
  
Moreover, the excellent counting ability of computers has accelerated the development of sciences massively. They shorten calculation time and calculate unlimited possibilities. Its ability can be used in many fields. For example, computers can calculate the boundary of the universe within minutes, while humans need to use months and years to get the answers.  
  
In summary, computers become an essential part of human modern life, thus there is a high chance that world development would severely regress without the advent of computer technology. The invention of computers has not only paved the way for a more equitable world but make people' lives more possible.  
  
Please help me with my logic, Thank you so much~~~  
@Crazy Snake
You absolutely agree with the statement without giving a thesis statement to support your point of view. That makes your presentation incomplete. There is no standard for your opinion as it is presented. It does not reference the discussion topics that will be presented to expand on your point of view. This is only a 4 paragraph essay. Do not over discuss it. It is not a comparison essay with a personal opinion. It is just a personal opinion statement. So, it is first person pronoun all the way.  
  
You are overusing logic in your presentation. Learn to present clear and effective opinions using only 2 solid discussion points. You could have omitted that redundant presentation within the first 2 reasoning paragraphs. You only have to explain once. You do not need to overemphasize your reasoning for the same topic in 2 paragraphs. Each paragraph needs to have a different discussion focus.
## IELTS WRITING TASK 2: ENVIRONMENTAL PROBLEMS

  
  
**Task 2:**  
***Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems.***  
  
***Discuss both these views and give your opinion.***  
  
My essay:  
It is argued that the most concerning environmental issue of the contemporary world is the extinction of certain species of plants and animals. Conversely, others claim that more significant environmental problems should be taken into consideration. This essay will discuss why the other affairs including rising sea levels and excessive use of plastic bags is worth dealing with.  
  
To begin with, it is acknowledged that an increasing number of creatures are in danger of extinction due to deforestation and poaching. People are cutting down trees to make way for the construction of residence and factories. Meanwhile, endangered species such as tigers and elephants are being hunted illegally for their skins, tusks to make luxury handbags and jewellery. The excessive exploitation without conservation leads to the disappearance of particular plants and animals.  
  
On the other hand, rising sea levels and the overuse of plastic bags are both detrimental to our environment. Sea levels are gradually rising and occupying the habitable areas and cultivatable land. Consequently, a huge proportion of people are likely to become homeless and crops cannot be grown in areas affected by salinity. In terms of plastic bags, it takes hundreds of years for the used chemicals to dissolve completely, thus nylon bags act as pollutants when being discharged directly into land or water. Therefore, these suggested issues both threaten the survival of living plants and animals, which make them worth concerning.  
  
In conclusion, while the loss of specific plants and animals is a significant problem, I strongly believe that rising sea levels and the overuse of plastic bags are the most alarming issues to be considered these days.
Oops! You did not only use memorized phrases in your presentation, you totally altered the discussion topic as well. Which means, you did not follow the instructions for the subject presentation. You showed a clear lack of English comprehension skills and will therefore, fail the overall test. The error is clearly seen below:  
  
Original Instruction: Discuss both these views and give your opinion.  
Your Action: This essay will discuss why the other affairs including rising sea levels and excessive use of plastic bags is worth dealing with.  
  
Clearly, the error is self explanatory. You were instructed to use a comparison + personal opinion discussion format, you opted to use a single opinion response that is totally unrelated to the given topic. So, you can understand why you cannot receive a passing score for this presentation. Your TA score will already be failing at the very start due to the unrelated response and overall presentation.
## women without job in United Kingdom

  
  
The given chart illustrates the percentage of unemployed female in four countries of the UK (England, Wales, Scotland, Northen Ireland) in the 2-year period from 2013 to 2014.  
  
Overall, it could be clearly seen that there are some negligible differences between the statistics of four distinct countries with the England's having the highest rate of female unemployment in 2013. Coming to the next year, 2014, almost all the shown countries's figures have reduced partly, except for Scotland.  
  
To give more details, at the year of 2013,more than 5% of female residents in each country did not have any job available, with the Wales as the least at 5,4% and the England as the most at 6.8%. The Scotland came to the second with 6.1% of female population not being recruited. The Northen Ireland was following next for leaving 5.6% of female population unemployed.  
  
Moving on to 2014, we can observe a recognizable effect of the national governors and the residents themselves in the declination of the female unemployment rate. In England and Wales, the features had been decreased by 3% and 4% respectively compared to the 2013's statistics. The Northen Ireland showed the most aggressive progress with the drop of 1%. In contrast, there was a concerned rise of 0.6% making Scotland the country having the highest female unemployment rate among four given countries in the UK.  
  
*   
*The graph shows female unemployment rates in each country of the United Kingdom in 2013 and 2014. S*
Aim for a clear summary overview. Separate the topic of the chart from the information contained. That means, use one sentence for the topic and separate sentence for the information outline. A third sentence for the coverage year would help make things easier to keep track of on the part of the reader / examiner. Your trending statement should only be a single sentence that does not contain any reference to actual measurements or digits from the image. This is only a summary paragraph. It is not an informative paragraph yet.  
  
You do not need to place "The" before Scotland since you are referring to a proper noun, Scotland being the name of a place or part of the UK monarchy or Commonwealth realm. The same error happened when you referred to Northern Ireland as well. Avoid making the same errors in the future as these will affect your GRA score.  
  
Why are you referring to national governors and residents themselves in the last paragraph? If the information is not included in the image, you should not be including or adding it to the report. This will remove your reliable information and affect your TA score as your report suddenly became unreliable. You are not writing an opinion essay either so giving a personal assessment or opinion of what is causing the measurements to vary in the chart is irrelevant. The inclusion of that information will only serve to lower your score due to task inaccuracy.
***People's shopping habits depend more on the age group they belong to than any other factors.***  
## Do you agree or disagree?

  
  
It is believed that nothing exerts as much influence on one's shopping habits as the age bracket into which he falls. I disagree with the idea. In my opinion, there are a variety of factors which are more influential.  
  
First, disruptive innovations including online shopping overshadows age in determining people's shopping habits. The elderly, who are the most conservative segment of the population, tend to stick to old norms and practices. They are usually in contrast with younger people, who are eager to embrace novelties. However, in this era when electronic commerce is on the rise, even senior citizens are turning to shopping websites and thus they do not show much difference from young shoppers. For example, my grandfather, who will turn 85 this year, and me, who is in my early 20s, both become regular users of Taobao, the Chinese version of Amazon.  
  
When to make purchases, affordability is another consideration which carries more relevance than age. Most of people, regardless of the age, are habituated to buying the best things for which they can pay. Take clothes, for example. The rich tend to develop a habit of going to fancy boutiques in pursuit of customized suits that never fail to arrest attention, while the poor perhaps have no choice but habituate themselves to browsing eBay for what is sold at discount.  
  
In conclusion, I am in disagreement that age is the most significant factor in deciding one's shopping habits. His financial means can have more impact. Innovations which bring revolutionary change to life also exceeds age in terms of relevance.
In the restatement + response paragraph, the additional task accuracy score and clarity of your opinion consideration will come from the final sentence. You already disagreed with the statement, You already said you were going to give your opinion based on a variety of influential factors. Why didn't you outline these topics for discussion in the same paragraph to help add to the overall conciseness of your presentation. The restatement + response paragraph also serves as your thesis statement for your opinion. So the strength of your opinion, the clarity of your support, comes from the way that you clearly support your opinion with opinion discussion points and then following through in the actual discussion paragraphs.  
  
The discussion presentation is clear in every paragraph and well supported. However, you are scored also on the natural sounding opinion that you present. The discussion needs to flow naturally in terms of word usage. The ease by which the reader can understand your presentation is scored in the GRA section and the LR considerations. When you use words that sound like you are just trying to impress the examiner to get a higher score, you tend to score less. Mostly because the word you have chosen to use does not truly fit the sentence requirement. Words such as habituate, when the term "used to" fits better shows a memorized phrase type of writing. You should try to insert everyday words in your presentation rather than "big words" that tend to remove the ease of sentence presentation to the reader. Additionally, the term "poor" was misused in this presentation. The poor would not have access to the internet, much less have the extra cash to use for online shopping. However, the middle class do have a greater tendency to shop on eBay at a discount. The word reference matters, not just the meaning of the word. Every word has to be used in the proper context, based on a relevant meaning.
@LadyOfClockwork  
  
Your ideas are great, but there is a contradiction in the first body paragraph. The first and second sentences of the essay are usually be seen as the topic sentences. Thus, the way you illustrate the traditional elders' shopping habits makes me confused and consider that you agree with the topic statement.  
  
PS: ..., including...: usually use in a sentence have more plural subordination noun; if there is only one, I would like to use such as, like, etc.
## Forms of teaching

  
  
Nowadays effective education places a strong cornerstone for the well-being of any country. Due to this practice, educational practitioners give great attention to how to design an appropriate for all students. Regardless of this, while some people believe it is good to clarify students according to their level of learning, others maintain mixed class is more efficient.  
  
On the one hand, dividing students into academic abilities groups bring a certain extent of benefits. One of the advantages is that each individual would have a schedule completely coordinating with their capacity. Because of the various studying level, students require specialized differences in teaching. For instance, high-achieved individual needs to approach advanced knowledge to maximize their knowledge and participate in major competitions. Another positive aspect of this is that underachievers would not be pressured on following other fellows.  
  
However, I would contend designing a learning program embracing all types of learning abilities is more effective. Each person has strengths in particular areas, which means maybe an individual is weak in studying but a master in socializing, others could learn a lot in this discipline of knowledge. This idea orients to create a thorough development environment for all students, not only concentrating on accomplishments. Moreover, choosing people according to their academic abilities might lead to a bitter competitive environment, cause severe mental diseases in a wide range of students. In fact, accomplishments strain makes a number of high academic individuals choose death to escape, to free themselves. Last but not least, generating a clarified learning scheme would result in social discrimination, in which students with low scores are underrated and degraded.  
  
In conclusion, each form of teaching has its own upwards. While dividing students is a great solution according to a group of people, I would lean towards building a mixed environment.
This is a compare and contrast essay with a personal opinion presentation. You have not followed the required discussion format for this presentation. There needs to be a threshed out discussion of each public opinion. An explanation as to why the public sectors believe that each opinion is the correct action to take with regards to classroom education. You do not need to agree or disagree with every public opinion, but, you must make sure that the reasons for the development of the opinion is clearly presented to the reader, before you create and present your own opinion. You did not effectively utilize the discussion format in this essay. It is barely explaining the public points of view and more heavily focused on your personal opinion. Remember, this is not a solely personal opinion essay. There are public opinions involved, therefore, you must use third person point of view reference points in the essay, as well as the personal reference point.
## WRITING IELTS TASK 1: THE PERCENTAGE OF INTERNET USERS

  
  
The graph compares the proportion of people who used the Internet in three countries between 1999 and 2009.  
Overall, all three countries experienced upward trends over the period shown. Additionally, Internet usage in America and Canada was considerably higher compared to the figure for Mexico throughout the 10 years from 1999.  
  
A more detailed look at the graph reveals that in 1999, the percentage of Americans having access to the Internet was 20 percent, which was higher than the figure for Canada (10 percent) and for Mexico ( 5 percent). In 2005, both the statistics for America and Canada stood at approximately 70 percent whereas only 25 percent of Mexico's population used the Internet. From that time on, the proportion of Internet users in the USA and in Mexico rose steadily, with the former reaching just below 80 percent and the latter amounted to about 40 percent of the total population. Meanwhile, the figure for Canada saw a sharp increase, reaching almost 100 percent.  
  
To summarize, there was considerable growth in the percentage of people who used the Internet in America and Canada. Internet usage in Mexico also rised but the alternation was less marked.  
  
*I hope you will read my writings and correct the mistakes that I've made. Thank you very much in advance.*  
  
*
There is a big difference between the task 1 and task 2 essay writing requirements. The task 1 essay does not require a summary or concluding paragraph. It only requires 3 paragraphs that informs the reader about the data from the image provided. This is unlike the task 2 essay that requires a summary of the previous discussion points. That also means, that the writer should only provide one trending statement in the presentation. There is no need for an "additional" trending statement in the summary overview. There is no need to summarize the essay with another trending statement either. Just integrate those information into the next 2 data reporting paragraphs and your presentation will be more prompt adherent and task accurate.  
  
You did a good job in the second paragraph. You showed a varied sentence and information presentation that remained true to the presentation and summarized the information to help create a concise, but coherent paragraph. However, you should have tried to divide the analysis a bit more to meet the minimum 3 paragraph requirement. That means, creating an additional analysis paragraph at the end rather than the summary paragraph. From what I see in the graph, there were 2 comparison points you could have used. These are the intersection portions of the graph where the line meet at an equal point. These happened in 2002 and, I believe, 2005. Such a paragraph presentation would have resulted in a truly analytical presentation that considered all of the data requirements from the instruction prompt.
## powerful and influential young generation

  
  
***Young people in the modern world seem to have more power and influence than any previous young generation. Why is this the case?  
What impact does this have on the relationship between old and young people?***  
  
It is true that young generation in the modern era have more power and influence than previous generations due to the benefit of advanced techniques and methods which includes conventional and information technologies. Current technologies have empowered this generation to use these platforms and in turn these have made life easy for any human being. The youngsters of the trending world are loaded with latest skills and out-performing the tasks.  
  
Evidently now a days more and more start-ups have set-up compared to earlier times. In ancient times, to start an organization took a great perseverance to set-up. In earlier times all the work was done manually whether it be the work of getting the passports ready or booking a train ticket. Even to get stuffs the only choice was to order it via a local vendor wherein one had little number of options to choose from. Today, one can purchase things online and it can be delivered in any corner of the world, thanks to Amazon.  
  
Likewise getting a cab in olden days were not an easy task at all and the hassle of paying was another bigger hassle. We don't find those issues anymore as start-up firms like Uber, OLA has made life free from these hurdles.  
  
The power and influential behavior of the current generation has somewhere forgotten to respect the older generations and sometimes these old people are felt ignored. The youngsters of this century somehow considers the skills of previous generation of no use. However we should not forget that the old people also have a great contribution towards the current world without them as well we may have not accomplished this position in the world.  
  
Thanks in advance for the feedback.