dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
Elizabeth Gilbert, a TED speaker and writer of "Eat, Pray and Love", tells the audience about how creativity can survive in her failure. She remembers about personal experience about her passion when she wants to be a writer. Since she was child tried to send her bad stories and hoped to be found by The New Yorker, a newspaper in that era. Moreover, she still tried to more writing and struggling to make her work got published. Unfortunately, she failed more than six years and almost makes her stressful. Furthermore, she bears in her mind that she should back to home. The meaning is not returning to her family's farm, but returning to the work of writing, she loved writing more than she loved herself. In her view, home is whatever thing which is dedicated by full energies and loyalty on one thing. Home is focus to do something with diligence, devotion, respect and reverence. It can be family, work, faith, invention and many others. Now, she becomes a famous writer in the world as a result for her hard work and faith.
Hi Dioba, here's another one from my end.  
  
- can survive ~~in her~~from failure.  
- She remembers a~~bout~~ personal experience  
- ~~Since she was~~As a child tried to send her bad  
- stories and hoped to be ~~found~~considered by The New  
- ~~Moreover, she still tried to more writing and struggling~~She then tried to write more, hoping~~to make~~ her work  
- will get~~got~~ published.  
- failed and for more than six years  
- ~~and almost makes~~it made her life~~her~~ stressful.  
- Furthermore, ~~she bears in her mind that she should~~she was ready to go back to home.  
- ~~The meaning~~This didn't mean she is not returning  
- but ~~returning to the work~~going back to her love of writing,  
- ~~thing which is~~that you have dedicated  
- ~~by~~your full energies and  
- ~~Now~~Not long enough , she becomes a famous writer ~~in~~that the the world look up to and this is the~~as a~~ result ~~for~~of her hard work and faith.  
  
There you have it Dioba, I hope the above remarks are helpful to your revision and I believe this summary has more sense to it and is a direct translation of the TED talk.
Hallo dioba.. here my suggestion for you..  
  
... she wants to be a writer. Since she was child tried to send her bad stories and hoped to be found by The New Yorker, a newspaper in that era. Moreover, she still tried to more writing and struggling to make her work got published.  
  
**Since she was child, she tried to send her bad stories and hoped to be found by The New Yorker,....  
... and struggling for making her work be published. (Be carefull with passive sentence.. You want to make it in passive but you made in active sentence. Thus, your sentence sound odd)**  
  
Unfortunately, she (...) and almost ~~makes~~**MADE** her stressful. [...]**(Unconsistent language of time. In my perspective, it should be past form)**  
  
keep writing and good luck
Canada has the plan to reduce the old coal-fired power in 2030 with accelerating from existing timetable that the defeating of trump's ideas to reborn the coal industry. They are two option which will give to the four provinces, Alberta, Saskatchewan, Nova Scotia, and New Brunswick, where still burn coal for power that it produces power using lower-emitting resources or using carbon capture and storage technology. Nowadays, the non-carbon emitting resource produces 80 percent of Canada's electricity and will increase by 10 percent in 2030. the use of the Canada Infrastructure Bank's public-private funding mechanism will help the Canadian government to the realization the transition out of coal-powered electricity.  
  
Source : TIME
Canada has ~~the~~a ( article using) plan to reduce (...) power in 2030. (this sentence is too long you need divide to two sentences) with accelerating from existing ...  
  
~~They~~ THERE are two ~~option~~ OPTIONS (PLURAL SINGULAR ISSUES) which will give to the four ... (AGAIN TOO LONG SENTENCES)  
  
... by 10 percent in 2030. ~~the use of the Canada~~ I THINK BETTER WHEN YOU USE GERUNG " USING OF BLA BLA BLA' Infrastructure Bank's public-private funding ...
Hi,there are several advice for you.  
1.Canada has ~~the~~a (article ) plan to reduce ...  
2.~~They~~There are two ~~option~~options (singular/plural) which will give to the four provinces such as Alberta, Saskatchewan, ...  
3. You should explain what is the two options , to make reader understand about your summary.  
4. ~~the use of the~~Furthermore , Canada Infrastructure (...) to the realization of the transition out of ...
Hello! I will give you some opinions about your summary  
  
(1) Canada has ~~the~~ plan to (...) power in 2030 ~~with~~**by** accelerating from (...) defeating of t rump's *(please using capital for mentioning a name* ideas to reborn ... --> *I did not get your point*  
  
**... usage of coal-fired power by accelerating the existing fuel to defeat Trump's idea which want to reborn the coal industry**  
  
(2) ~~They~~**There** are two option**s** which will **be** give**n** to the four provinces, (...), where ~~still~~**the** burn coal for power (...) lower-emitting resources *or using carbon capture and storage technology.*  
  
**...where the burn coal is still used for powering the country that produces lower-emitting resources**  
  
(3) ... of Canada's electricity and **it** will increase by ...  
(4) the use of the Canada Infrastructure Bank's public-private funding ...  
**They will use a fund from Canada Infrastructure's Bank to help the goverment starting the plan**
Hello yurike  
  
Canada has ~~the~~**a** plan to reduce (...) with ~~accelerating~~**ACCELERATION** from existing timetable that ~~the~~**is** defeating of trump's ...  
1. In the beginning of your paragraph don't use "the" as your first article. Because "the" is used if you already mentioned before, and it refer to something.  
  
2. that + is + defeating ---> present continous  
  
3. ACCELERATION ---> NOUN  
  
They are two ~~option~~**OPTIONS** which will give ...  
3. PLURAL NOT SINGULAR
Hi Yui, Welcome to EF :)  
  
- This is a proof that~~Prove~~ it is a place where...  
- Therefore , Rochester is the best ~~places~~place to go ~~to which shows Strong~~due to its strong competitiveness. (punctuation and grammatical problems)  
  
- ~~One~~~~very~~A strong reason ~~for~~why Rochester is ~~a~~the greatest place to go is because of Mayo Clinic --The best hospital.  
- ...research group settled in 1864. (period) Under the primary value"The needs of the patient come first", (no space needed before comma) Mayo Clinic do its best in taking care of every patient and ~~wined~~getting a great honor around the world. (period) U.S. News & World Report ranked Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minn as the best hospital in the nation in ~~their~~in 2016-2017 period~~rankings~~ and ~~maintaining~~maintained a position near the... (can you differentiate between "comma" and "period"? the way you put them seems quite messy and jumbled)  
  
According to the above-mentioned feedback, I can see that the whole essay also experience the same problem. It is mostly about punctuation and grammatical problems. If you can mind the feedback above, I am sure that you will able to create a better essay later on. Try to upload the revision below my comment to achieve a further assistance :)
**In your opinion . What is the most important characteristic (for example . Honesty . Intelligence . A sense of humor ) that a person can have to be successful in life ? Use specific reasons and examples from your experience to explain your answer . When you write your answer . You are not limited to the examples listed in the prompt**  
  
There are many characteristics that person needs to have to be successful . But I want to speak about the most important characteristic from my point of view . It is hardworking . The reasons of my opinion are discussed in the following examples.  
  
First of all . Without any efforts nobody cannot be successful . Diligence is the basic characteristic , that everyone needs to have . You can be a strong , intelligent or honest person , but having only these qualities you will not be able to make a successful life . For example . I have known many people who are very successful . As they say , the pledge of their successful life is diligence . None of them does not spend his/her time just telling some jokes or saying the truth .  
  
Secondly . If someone is going to work somewhere , he/she has to complete the internship before he/she will start working . In this period person has a chance to show his /her ability to work well . If you do not hard work, many hirers do not need your honesty or a sense of humor . Demonstrating his/her hard work , it will bring to person success in his/her area of work .  
  
Thirdly . Despite of your other characteristics you can be successful in both professional sphere , and in your personal life . For example , my grandmother and grandfather are very hardworking persons . They built not only their careers , but also their love. They overcome every difficulties in their life because they are hardworking .  
  
To sum up , of course intelligence, honesty and the sense of humor are really essential features for a person. . But I strongly believe that the most important quality of being successful , it is diligence.
needs to have in order to be successful  
  
It is hardworking - It's probably better to either make the sentence longer or to combine it with another one.  
  
First of all . Without any efforts ... - there is a comma after "First of all"  
  
Diligence is the basic characteristic , that everyone needs to have - (WHY?)  
  
~~make~~have a successful life.  
  
For example . I have known ... (Where is the example?) - I know many people, who are very successful - Choose the right tense, you can't change the verbe tense in between the sentence.  
  
None of them does not spend ...  
None of them have ever spent his time in telling ~~some~~ jokes or (logically does't make sense to me) speaking his mind?
... characteristic from my point of view . It is hardworking . The reasons of my opinion ... .  
Hello Fenya.  
To make good introduction paragraph you can use this pattern.  
  
1. Background Information.  
You already mention it in your first sentence. Unfortunately, your explanation is extremely unclear. It is good if you can connect it with today's condition, give the real condition in the world, or you can emphasize it with start your explanation with fact or some researcher's research.  
  
2. Thesis Statement  
In your second and third question you already mention your thesis statement. However, your sentence is too short, especially in third sentence. To write the best thesis statement, you must emphasizes and give the reason why you decide to select "hardworking" as the most important characteristic. You can add comparison with others, or give positive aspects with this kind of work.  
  
3. Reasons. You must write the general reasons or just short explanation for your statement. The good essay is when the reader already know what is your aim in your essay just read in the first paragraph. So, it is good for you to mention minimally about the outline of your explanation in the next following paragraph.  
  
Break a leg !
I know most of the points presented in the essay are not very logical, but that is not the main problem - I think especially in this essay the word usage and the logical connections between the sentences is not very good.  
  
**Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction.**  
  
Do you agree or disagree?  
  
Provide relevant examples if necessary.  
  
In today's society the huge salary is a symbol of prestige and happiness. Even though, nowadays many people maintain the statement, that the big salary is the most imporrant thing in everyone's job, i think the satisfaction of your work is much more valuable. The main reasons supporting my statement are that, you can not buy yourself happiness, alongside that the feeling of achieving something that no one believed it was possible is incomparable to any tangible good.  
  
Most of the people nowadays, spend 8 or more hours in their workplaces every single day. Basically, we work during 1/3 of our lives and we can not afford to exchange our hapiness, for just more money. Moreover, you can not buy back these 8 hours, even with the highest salary in the world and that is why people should focus on finding job that makes them happy and satisfied from their lives rather than working on something that is boring and depressing, just because of the better salary. With that said, many people prefer to spend a significant amount of their lives, complaining about their dissatified and not valuable workplace, rather than changing the environment in order to find a job corresponding to their real targets and dreams.  
  
We all know that, the happiest moments in our lives, were when we have achieved something that nobody else believed it is even possible. That feeling of relish and proudness could not have been bought even with all of the money in the world. Furthermore, at the end of our lives we will remember just the experiences, which have evoked pleasant and therilling feelings into our minds and regret the time we have spent working for material goods, which at the end of the day are just useless tools. In addition to this, the satisfaction of achieving something valuable in our jobs makes us better people and build the foundations of one better and brighter future for us and our families.  
  
In conclusion, i think that, even though the huge salary can bring some positives into our lives, the satisfaction of our jobs should be the primary reason for choosing our work places. This satisfaction effects your whole life and exerts a huge influence on your future success
Hello! I will give you some opinions about your essay.  
  
(1) ***... symbol of prestige and happiness even though nowadays....***  
or  
***In today's society the huge salary is a symbol of prestige and happiness. Eventhough nowadays, many people...***  
(2) that the big salary is the most important~~thing~~ in everyone's job....  
*avoid using 'thing' or 'something' in an essay*  
(3) The main reason~~s~~**for** supporting my statement are that, you ~~can not~~**cannot** buy yourself **a** happiness...  
  
(4) Most ~~of the~~ people nowadays, ...  
(5) ...just because of the better salary.  
*article 'the' can be used for superlative, such as 'the best', but you can use article 'a' for 'better', such as a better salary*
In today's society ~~the~~ huge salary is a symbol ...  
1. Since this is the first time you mention "huge salary", you don't need to use the. Because if you use "the" it must be refer to the previous or it is already mentioned before.  
  
Even though, ~~nowadays~~ many people maintain the statement~~,~~ [i]without comma[/i] that the big salary is the most ~~imporrant~~**IMPORTANT** thing in everyone's job, ...  
2. You already mention in the previous sentence "today's society", so the next sentence already mean "today".  
  
3. Important ---> typo  
  
The main reasons supporting my statement are ~~that,~~ you can not buy yourself happiness~~,~~*without comma* alongside ~~that~~ the feeling of (...) it was ~~possible is incomparable to~~**IMPOSSIBLE TO COMPARE WITH** any tangible good.  
4. without conjunction because it is already has to be "are"  
  
5. alongside is preposition mean "together" you cannot placed it before conjunction directly.  
  
6. make your sentence simpler.  
  
... can bring some positives into our ~~lives~~**LIFE**, the satisfaction (...) for choosing our ~~work places~~**WORKPLACES**. ... and exerts a huge influence on ...  
7. You are use "huge" too much: REPETITION. You can change with "EXTREMELY LARGE / BIG / ENORMOUS / HIGH"  
  
8. live --> place to live . different meaning with LIFE.  
  
9. WORKPLACE (WITHOUT SPACING)
**Finland to set become the first country to ban coal to use for energy.**  
  
Recently, Finland government releases news that Finland has been ready to ban coal as their energy. It is because the coal is predicted will disappear from market in 2030, not only that but also using of coal has been decline in Finland starting from 2010. Although ban the coal as their energy source, Finland does not spontaneously leave it, but smoothly move away and try to discover renewable energy such wind power energy. This concept gets good response from others countries such as UK , Australia and The Netherlands. Those country will phase coal out within 10 up to 15 years. Consequently, as coal substitution, countries have to discover a renewable energy resources.  
  
Source: newscientist
Hi Bambang..  
These are my corrections for your summary  
  
*Note: Actually, It is a good job because you could extract essential information of that article. Besides that, you can guide readers to understand your summary better since you explained the information systematically. I did not pause when reading your summary. However, you should reread your summary before you upload because there were a few minor errors such as plural or singular.  
  
Keep Writing  
GOOD LUCK*
**Write about the following topic:  
  
Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think is fully justified while others think it is unfair.  
  
Discus both these views and give your own opinion.  
Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.**  
  
To be an athlete is the dream of lots children, and one of reasons is that the famous sporty stars usually have fertile income. However, it is very controversial that these successful sports players earn such great amount of money. In my opinion, I think it is fair enough.  
  
Firstly, some people think this phenomenon leads to bad influence on teenagers. The great gap between the income of sports professionals and the other professionals seems to courage the youth to incline being the former one. What's more, the benefits of successful sports players are not only the money but also the reputation. Being sports professionals seems a shortcut toward an enviable life. These factors make an imbalance between the athlete and other occupations.  
  
On the other side, I suppose people should realize that it is not easy to become successful sports players. It needs numerous practices and gifted talent. Before being famous sports players, they have to tolerate strict training and low income. For instance, in my country-Taiwan, an ordinary athlete earns lower than the average income, and most of them need the sponsors from the public and the companies so as to compete the games aboard. Next, compare to the other career, the athlete has short career life. Because most of the sports need physical power, it is hard to maintain the energy when you are aging. In order that, they have short period can earn the money.  
  
To sum up, in the short term, people may think the successful sports players earn more than they should. Nevertheless, we should consider it, in the long term, seems reasonable for them to have a great number of money.
Arlen, your task accuracy, which is related to the paraphrasing of the prompt scores a 3. You presented most of the prompt points but failed to give an accurate summary or paraphrasing of the instructions within your opening statement. That's too bad because the mistake was ever so slight but ended up changing the meaning of the prompt so your score suffered for it. However, you were still able to properly discuss the correct prompt within your essay.  
  
Now for your cohesion and coherence, your presentation is clear enough to show that you are capable of analyzing the proper discussion progression for this essay. So I believe that you can get a decent 6 even though there are problems with the cohesion in your sentences and also terminology use is often faulty within your paragraphs.  
  
As for the lexical resource, it has got to be another 6. You are trying to use complicated vocabulary to show off your English language skills but your lack of familiarity with the meaning of the words poses a problem for you. An example of this would be when you use the term "courage" when what you really wanted to say was "encourage". Courage is is the ability to do something even though it frightens you. Encourage means that one wishes to support, give confidence, or hope to a person. Which is what you wanted to say in the sentence.  
  
Grammar range and accuracy is definitely affected by your problems in lexical resource. I will give you a score of 5 in this instance because the difficulty in trying to understand what you want to say could cause some problems for the readers. When the reader has to constantly, silently correct your grammar as he reads your work means that reading your paper causes undue stress and difficulty. That is what caused the low score for you.
**Topic: Advertisements are becoming more and more common in everyday life. Is it a positive or negative development?**  
(please give me an appropriate band , thanks ^^ )  
  
The contemporary society have witnessed significant breakthrough of technology , especially advertisement industry . These ever-rising incidences of aforementioned fields have drawn enomous attention from individuals and community.From my perspective , both positive and negative aspects are recognised effortlessly and will be investigated in this essay.  
  
On the one hand , there are 2 underlying explanations for beneficial aspects.The first convincing foundation is the fact that consumers have been offered wide range of products , diverse sources of information and unlimited choices , particularly with the omnipresence of television and Internet.To be more specific , not only affluents or white-collar workers but also have-nots and underprivileged individuals are given incentives to get access to both international , domestical commodities at reasonable prices , which will facilitate them to ameliorate life standards.Another justification supporting for this point of view is increase in work opportunities , products quality improvement.Competitive markets are assumed to stimulate numerous companies cultivate their respective commodities so as to attract more people , on the similar note , increase annual revenue , which turn result in social benefits.Moreover , employment prospects will enhance in direct correlation with positive surge in advertisement industry's employees.  
  
On the other hand the development could exert detrimental impact on citizens'conception.Some low-quality brands will easily disparage trustworhty products , create common sense of distrust and prejudice against domestical goods.As outlined previously , it is obvious that profit improvement could be seen in the short-term ,however, in the long run , the higher influx of fundings possibly turn out to be extravagant investments.Second , onlookers , who have been bombarded by biased and proof-less information will embody disrespect .Indeed, only small proportion of citizens seriously pay attention to these advertisements.  
  
In conclusion , prevalence of this industry bring pragmatic value to society , however , beneficial aspects could not outweigh negative sides