dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
20 minutes. That is how many minutes you have to write the straightforward report based on the given image. That means you will do well to not overwrite in the reporting stage. Anywhere between 175-190 words will be sufficient enough for you to get the best possible score. By writing 257 words, you have written a Task 2, not Task 1 essay. The assumption will be that you focused on simply the LR section of the essay scoring bracket rather than the overall TA, GRA, LR, and C&C scores.  
  
The presentation does not show a wide variety of punctuation uses. You only used a comma and period for the most part. The presentations lack clarity as you tended to present more long sentences only rather than a proper mix of simple and complex sentences. Do not just focus on one aspect of scoring. Balance your presentation to highlight each aspect of scoring. Work on the clarity of the presentation. Not just the language usage skills.
In my perspective, I sIn my perspective, I suppose that the writing task 1 don't need to mention everything in the graph but concentrate on major characteristics which easy to see. Therefore, it could reduce the number of words as well as make the information easy to understand for the reader. Besides, you should make a trend from 1966 to 2006 and don't need to put 1986 in your report to reduce the number of words. uppose that the writing task 1 don't need to mention everything in the graph but concentrate on the characteristic
**Topic:  
*DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE WITH THE FOLLOWING STATEMENT?***  
  
**People benefit more from traveling in their own country than from traveling to foreign countries. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.**  
  
It is a certain fact that individuals have various perceptions of traveling. While some people hole the belief that journey in their home country could be generate higher merit, another great proportion of the population are interested in the advantages of traveling abroad. In this essay, I will analyze both sides of those two arguments and state my own perspective.  
  
On the one hand, traveling in the home country could be the golden opportunity for people to broaden their horizons more about the historical event in tandem with various traditional heritage, particularly history documents that are not providing in school programs. It is obvious that, nowadays, the history lesson in school is bored to the majority of student in class because of several reasons including lack of reality, hard to remember and imaging.... Traveling to specific location connected with history event could be generate the general view and easy to draw the picture of their ancestor activities in the past in tandem with absorb the history knowledge in visualize ways by numerous pictures, model...  
  
On the other hand, traveling in foreign countries is one of the optimal options for people to  
learn about not only the languages but also the cross-culture, which could provide a huge benefit for their future career when collaborating with foreign partners. Besides, every single nation in the world has their own characteristics, thus, traveling to another country could be the chance for people to discover new things that different from their homeland. Furthermore, they also can learn the innovative technique to catch up with the world civilizations.  
  
In conclusion, traveling in a home country or foreign one also has the advantage of fulfilling the performance in both future career and human welfare. Each people should have time to travel and experience the diversity of the world.
You immediately failed this essay test. The very minute to offered a fact in the first sentence rather than a simple restatement of the given topics. Then, you also went against the single discussion instruction for your opinion when you stated that you would be comparing both points of views before stating your own opinion. This is a single opinion essay because you were asked if you give a single response: Do you agree or disagree? In no part of the instruction were you asked to; "discuss both points of view and give your opinion." Therefore, your response is totally unrelated to the task and, in addition, you failed to actually state a response to the direct question within the response presentation. I cannot continue to review your essay at this point since you failed to follow the discussion instructions from the very beginning of your presentation.
## IELTS Writing task 1: Life cycle of bees

  
  
The diagram clearly illustrates about life cycle of bees, their growth in different periods and average life expectancy, from eggs to adult.  
  
As it can be seen, the lifespan of bees takes 34 to 36 days and it can be deviced in 6 distinct periods. It's special that, after emerged from eggs, their growth come from their moults.  
  
The circle of bees' life starts from eggs. Bees' eggs hatch after 9-10 days self-incubate. After emerge 5 days, young bee, also named nymph, shed for the first time and live with that size in 7 days. Then, nymphs moults for the second time for bigger size. They experience the period for 9 days before the last moults and emerge to young adult.  
  
Young adult need 4 more days to get maturity condition. In this stage, female lays 1 to 2 eggs every three days to make a new generation to maintain their offspring.  
  
*   
*Topic*
The presentation is too short for you to be properly graded by the examiner. With only 152 words, you have not really tried to show off your English analytical and reporting skills. You only wrote enough to meet the word requirement, but not enough to increase your scoring potential. That scoring potential is achieved within 175-190 words. Your presentation is good, but has the potential to be better. You should try to present a longer report next time. Try to study the image more, look for ways to present it interestingly in the report. Spice up your presentation a bit. It is too dry and doesn't use enough English words to really show your writing abilities. Look for longer paragraph presentations. If you use the 3 paragraph format instead of the 4 paragraph presentation, you will find that you will be able to write more and also, come up with a more interesting presentation. Your paragraph count needs to be consistent when presenting sentence reports. Always use between 3-5 sentences so that you avoid run-on presentations, which is the most common error in your current presentation. That along with spelling, cohesiveness and coherence problems, and formality in word usage problems combine to even further lower your potential to get a passing grade with this presentation. Avoid using contractions like "it's". Always spell it out. This is an academic presentation after all. Word shortcuts are frowned upon and affect your score.
## Plan A below shows a health centre in 2005, plan B shows the same place now.

  
  
The provided diagrams illustrate some proposed changes to the layout of a health centre from 2005 to today's times.  
It is apparent that principal development was carried out on serveral rooms of the floor space. Various other changes with regard to parking lot and garden also accompanied the construction of this place.  
  
In 2005, clients entered the building through the door located in the centre of the front side. Nevertheless, the entrance was then relocated on the left side of the building, so customers can walk straight away to the reception desk and children's play area rather than passing through serverals rooms in 2005. As can be seen from the present map, lying on the centre of the floor is a large vacancy surrounded by 7 rooms instead of 5 thanks to new construction of CR4 and minor operations at the top left-hand corner of the health centre.  
  
In terms of outdoors area, the car parking in renovated health centre is over twice as large as it used to be since it occupies the left-hand path which was for garden zone in 2005. In stark contrast, vacancy for garden has shrinked to be small place behind the building and in right-hand path.  
  
***Please feel free to leave comments on my writing task 1 so as that I can improve my skill. Thank you so much!***  
  
*
Be more specific. Don't just indicate provided diagrams. You need to use the designations from the original image. So differentiate by saying that Diagram A covers a specific time frame and Diagram B illustrates another time reference. That way you cover the proper presentations in the summary overview.  
  
Your second paragraph lacks clarity due to your inability to use proper time reference points to indicate when changes took place. For example, "In 2005, the clients entered... ~~Nevertheless~~ However, the door is currently located ( to indicate present day) ..." The third paragraph is a run-on presentation. The first sentence could have been separated into at least 3 sections / sentences which would have added to the clarity of the paragraph presentation. You have to make sure that you do not rush the presentation. Always aim for clarity. Keep it short so that you can retain the clarity of the sentence presentation.  
  
There are 3 error areas in this presentation namely, spelling and coherence and cohesiveness, Please take the time to spell check yourself before you consider an essay complete. Check and correct as many errors as you can spot to lower your error percentage in the scoring brackets.
## development at the waterfront area of a Darwin town

  
  
The given map illustrates the development at the waterfront area of a Darwin town between 2009 and 2014.  
Overall, the town showed the complete obiliteration of the industrial area to make this place for more rensidential and cleaner. Additionally, the town's infrastructure had been renovated by added a harbor and more footpaths.  
  
In details, in 2009, the vast greenland which was place in the south of the residential building was used for the industrial. However, the industrial were non-existent because of the replacement of trees in 2014. In addition, an university building was built at the west of the town and some residential building appeared in 2014. To the southeast of the town there was an appearance of the harbor and some new footpaths which acrossed through the town.  
  
To the center of the town, the area encircled by footpath was replaced by the swimming pool, while the lake, convention center and the school remain unchanged. The two swimming pool by the beach and the fishing area are still permanent from 2009 to 2014.  
  
*   
*....*
Avoid using exaggerated terms like "obliterated". Use words that properly describe the situation. You could say the area was renovated, improved, or upgraded. Use positive sounding words as there was no negative setting to begin with. This is not war time so there is no obliteration occurring. For more clarity in the presentation, you should use the 2 reporting paragraphs to clearly explain the 2009 image first, then the 2014 image second. That way the image descriptions are truly representative of each year. You could start the paragraph saying that "The 2009 image clearly outlines the way the town used the area at that time." Then proceed to describe it. After that, the last paragraph can start with "By the time 2014 came around, the town had undergone significant changes." The you can do the comparison points regarding specific and related changes only.  
  
By the way, you wrote just the right number of words for this essay. However, you failed to edit your work and correct the errors related to spelling and grammar. You should have looked for spelling and grammar errors when you finished your draft so you could have corrected these errors that would have a direct effect on your final LR and GRA score.
## financial support for art controversy

  
  
It is argued commonly that Government's financial support for art is merely wastage financial resources of a country and that money should be invested somewhere else instead. I completely disagree with this argument and I think art is a gateway to preserve a culture and heritage. In this essay I would be discussing why art should be financed by government to great extent.  
  
Firstly, art is a great way to express someone's opinion or imagination regarding a perspective or issue. Artist often reflect society's culture, heritage and traditions in their artistic works and projects. Hence, It will pass the legacy of a society to their coming generations. In addition art also educate us about our ancestors thoughts and mental approach. For example, from Moeen Jo Daro  
  
(oldest civilization of Sindh Pakistan) remains we can easily figure out that this civilization was fully civilized with most developed infrastructure of the city and dancing girl sculpture with humongous bangles in her arm point out that girls dance was a social norm in our ancestors. Hence, our government should definitely invest in art and facilitate this field and its works to keep our legacy alive for thousands of centuries to come.  
  
Secondly, art is source of immense entertainment for the people who admire it. Nowadays, almost everyone is involved in artistic work or buys art. For instance, peoples tend to buy movie tickets, paintings, sculpture, novels and etcetera, these all are great examples of art and source of entertainment from children to elderly people. Hence these reasons are very convincing why this great field should be financed by Government sectors.  
  
To conclude, in my opinion Government should invest in art field to keep a trace to our culture for upcoming generations.
The last sentence of your reasoning outline is not necessary. Your most impactful response should have ended with the statement; " I think art is a gateway to preserve a culture and heritage." So you should have divided that sentence into 2. One sentence stating your extent opinion, the other, presents the reason. However, your presentation lost impact because you said "I think", meaning you are unsure of your response. The strength of your reasoning can be found in the strong emotional words you use in the presentation (I firmly believe that...) . Also, be careful of the way you hit the enter button. You need to keep the formatting tight and correct. You split the name of the place from the description in the parenthesis. You can lose points for that in the GRA section that judges how well you format sentences and use punctuation marks.  
  
The reasoning paragraphs are reasonably developed. It does contain several errors in spelling, grammar, along with coherence and cohesiveness problems. However, these errors were not so bad that it would make the paragraphs difficult to understand. This is a good enough essay that shows you have room for further improvement in the future. Keep writing!
## IELTS writing task 2: Traditional music and international music

  
  
**There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?**  
  
In this day and age, multitudinous genres of music have been released in many parts of the world. Furthermore, music plays an entertaining role and has a significant impact on our emotional and mental health. Various as music is, traditional music still deserves being cherished and preserved much more than the popular music does because of its importance.  
  
Clearly, music can prove fruitful for people by dint of its range of benefits. Firstly, listening to music can be referred as a way that people immerse in a world which is away from the hustle and the bustle of normal life. Also, intense schedule of work and studying induces stress, depression and preoccupation on everyone. Music seems to be the simplest way to do away with those negative impacts in a short time.  
  
Moreover, there are two main reasons for the paramount characteristics of the traditional music in a country. First and foremost, most traditional music is built on the history, culture, story of a country, which reminds young people of their countries' past. This, intentionally, raises the pride in each individual citizen and help them to learn more about their nation. Secondly, it would be so a real pity if a country lost its unique characteristics in music. Thus, young people will be sensitized to their responsibility as paying respect to their countries' music.  
  
In conclusion, life without music would make people encounter difficulty in living positively. Indeed, fun and catchy though modern music might be, the valuation of traditional music should never be diminished.  
  
Please help me with the feedback for this essay. Thank you so much!
This essay sounds like you opened a dictionary and a thesaurus simultaneously to help you find as many impressive big sounding words that you can insert in the essay you wrote. The focus on using "big" words that do not create a natural discussion feel in the sentences and paragraph will be a problem for your score. That is because you are using words that may not be used in the proper context within your presentation. The examiner is trained to spot an exam taker who is merely trying to impress him with his knowledge of "advanced" English words, but with the inability to use it properly. Rather than scoring better in the LR and GRA section, the misuse of these words will result in a down scaling of your score instead. Words such as multitudinous, dint, paramount, to name but a few. Memorized and often used phrases such as "hustle and bustle" will also not help your score.
***The mass media have an adverse effect on moral standards. Do you agree or disagree?***  
## Write an essay (at least 350 words) to give your opinion.

  
  
Answer:  
There is an explosion in the popularity of mass media these days, leading to its broader influence both positive and negative. It is reckoned that the mass media have a devastating impact on moral principles. I am a strong advocate of this point of view, and this essay includes some reasons to support my stand.  
  
For a start, children's morals are inclined to be injuriously affected by the media. Not only cannot they discern a huge amount of information, but they also have more spare time to access that. If they usually watch videos containing degrading language without being censored, they may consider them to be normal in real life. For example, my brother often spends his free time on nonsense videos in which the editors use improper language, which can negatively affect his diction when communicating with others.  
  
Another notion worth mentioning is that the media also acts as a catalyst for deteriorating moral philosophy. Some people regard social sites as a place not for sharing, but for blaming or using hostile comments towards a person who they even have no knowledge of. Without a multi-faceted view, electronic media's users are easily willing to insult others based on yellow journalism. For instance, there are a host of attention-grabbing posts involving the break-up between Virus and his girlfriend; however, some groups of people not truly understanding their relationship are ready to comment hurtful or sensitive words to discuss or judge this matter on both sides while it's not their business at all.  
  
By contrast, merely a small part of kindnesses are transferred through media outlets including television and newspaper. This raises people's awareness of lending a hand and reminds them of how to conduct themselves. Nevertheless, with a fast pace of life, the busier people are, the less time they spend on watching national broadcasters; instead, keeping up-to-date through online magazines is an optimal alternative. Therefore, we have to suffer from the deleterious effects of the media more than the benefits we can reap from.  
  
In conclusion, children's moral and offensive comments are two above-mentioned detrimental outcomes of mass media. It is recommended that with the rapid development of social sites, we should be alert when getting exposure to these.
A Task 2 IELTS essay has a minimum 250 word count, not 350. The standard response format for an agree or disagree essay is only a 4 paragraph presentation composed of 2 reasoning paragraphs along with the prompt paraphrase and reverse paraphrase. You have over discussed this essay and also, not followed the correct discussion format as indicated by the presentation.  
  
The paraphrase paragraph needs to provide a restatement only of the given discussion topic and a direct response to the question provided with an outline of the discussion reasons. It should not include information not present in the original presentation as it will alter the discussion format and content of the presentation. For this essay, the proper format would have been somewhat like this:  
  
*Measured principles are often said to be negatively affected by the broadcasting industry. I agree with this opinion based on two reasons. First... Second...*  
  
You do need to outline your discussion points, but you do not need to give an overview of your discussion. The main discussion should be found in the reasoning paragraphs, per topic. Additionally, since this is a simple agree or disagree essay, you should never use an extent response such as "I am a strong advocate of..."  
  
Keep the discussion simple, clear, and concise. The most number of reasons for this opinion essay would be 2. That is because you are being tested on your ability to properly explain your point of view. Something that you should be able to prove within 40 minutes, using the 250-290 word limit. It is only an opinion paper, not a research paper. The length you wrote, 370 words, means that you wrote a research, rather than opinion paper.  
  
In all honesty, I do not believe you would be able to write this many words during a pencil test. Perhaps you can do this during the CBT but at what cost? Based on the errors you made in the presentation, you neglected to review, revise, and finalize your errors in the areas of grammar, clarity and conciseness. Your conclusion offers a plan of action at the end, something that was not required by the original discussion. Expect to receive points deductions for including a discussion slant that is not included in the original presentation. You should only stick to giving an opinion based on the topic, do not give a possible solution where none is required.
## money spent on books

  
  
The line graph illustrates how much money people spend on three types of books over a period of four years from 2002.  
Looking at the graph, it is immediately obvious that the expenditure on children's books and educational books had an upward trend whereas those of adult fiction decreased during the observed period.  
  
In 2002, people spent the most on adult fiction and reached 45 million dollars. This was significantly higher than that of children's books and education books, which was 35 and 25 millions dollars respectively. Then yearly spending on adult fiction reduced to 38 million dollars in 2003. Although its sales rose slightly by 2 million dollars, it continued to fall and stood at 30 million dollars at the end of the period.  
  
By contrast, the payment for two kinds of remainder books experienced a growth of nearly 10 million dollars from 2002 to 2003. In the next two years, while sales of children's books modestly went up, there was a decline of 6 million dollars in the spending on educational books. Between 2005 and 2006, the amount of money pay for them rose gradually.  
  
*