dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
I believe that the advantages of distance working are far weightier than its drawbacks.  
The original prompt does not ask you to present an opinion. The discussion instruction requires a non-opinionated advantage V. disadvantage presentation only. A neutral discussion that offers suggestions, but not a decision or one- sided opinion to the reader. The discussion approach is incorrect this time.  
  
your parents  
Most people across the world do not live with their parents as most Asians tend to do. so there is no danger of parents walking in on a person while working. Use a more mature and westernized sample next time.  
  
The conclusion does not meet the 2 sentence, 40 word requirement. It also offers a repeat of a single point of miw opinion in contradiction with the orginal discussion requirements.
## results of surveys about mobile phones in Africa

  
  
The pie charts demonstrate the proportion of 4 primary reasons accounting for teenager coming from one African country using their phones over a period of 3 years from 2019  
  
It is clear that proportion of using digital camera increased over the period shown while the opposite was true for making phone calls. It is noticeable that social medias were the most common reason for using phones.  
  
Regarding the social medias, the figure began at 50% in 2016, then experienced a marginal decrease by 2% in the following year. Similarly, the proportion of email declined from 25% to 24%. In the year 2018, there was a slight increase in the figure for social medias. In contrast, a substantial decrease of 4% was seen in the figure for email. At the end of the period, the percentage of social medias increased to 56%, however, that of email decreased by 1%  
  
In 2016, the percentage of making phone calls stood at 10% compared to 15% for digital camera. In the year 2017, the figure for phone calls increased by 3%, however, that of digital camera stabilized. From the year 2018 onwards, there was a downtrend in phone calls. To be specific, the figure ended at 5%. In contrast, the proportion of digital camera increased considerably to 20% at the end of the period
The pie charts  
How many pie charts? A reference to the number of images and how these images are divided should be clearly represented because each image has a specific measurement representation. What are the 4 primary reasons? What were the inclusive dates of measurement? The summary overview is not complete in terms of short information. The presentation also needs to be spread out over several sentences to achieve summary clarity. Yes, you mention these information in better detail in the paragraphs. However, these need to be summarized for the reader to deliver a short form of the intricate reports in the succeeding paragraphs.  
  
At the end of the period  
What was the end of the period?  
  
The writer gets the information into the report, but does not focus on the sentence structure in the presentation. The lack of focus on reduced GRA errors are what limits the score of this presentation.
*Please help me better my writing by giving your feedbacks on my structure, grammar, vocabulary and idea. I will really appreciate it. Thank for reading!*  
  
## IELTS Writing task 1: How geothemal energy is used to produce electricity

  
  
Write at least 150 words:  
  
The diagram shows the process of producing energy from cold water to electricity, the geothermal energy.  
Overall, it takes a total of 5 steps to finally converts cold water into electricity. It uses a geothermal zone under the ground in the process.  
  
At the first stage, cold water stored in tank is pumped down to underground for 4.5km using the injection well. After that, the flow of cold water continues to experience a high in temperature by going through geothermal zone which includes hot rocks in it. It now becomes hot water and get the way to the second production well.  
  
At next stage, hot water is pumped up to the condenser, where steam is able to be form. The stream now continues to power the turbine, followed by the start of the generator, produces electricity. The tower then receives the electricity and then send to the consumer who is in use. This process continue repeatedly to satisfied the needs for electricity.  
  
*
pumped down  
hot rocks  
Use a different descriptive phrase next time. Avoid using the same presentation words from the original. When the writer uses the same words, the writer is deemed to ber incapable of writing in his own words, based on his own understanding. The assumption will be that the writer has a limited vocabulary and can only write in memorize phrases. It lowers the vocabulary related scores.  
  
get the way  
This is an unclear reference phrase. Wrong words were used to refer to "proceeds" or "proceeded" to the next level. Sentence structure in relation to word usage is becoming an obvious problem in the report.  
  
The tower then receives  
Refer to this as the final stage in the process. It is important to seperate the procedures towards the end, where the final steps tend to be merged in the report. This removes clarity from the pargraph presentation and could affect the clarity score.
## Task 1 - Planned Shopping Centre Locations

  
  
Given is a town planning map that reveals the potential sites for two new shopping malls as well as major transportation features of an unnamed town.  
  
It is apparent from the information supplied that shopping center A is expected to be situated in the central district of the town, whereas shopping center B is likely to be placed in the countryside. Also, the sites can be compared in terms of access by road and rail, and their relative positions to different zones and other towns.  
  
Looking at the planning map in detail, shopping center B is on the northwest of shopping center A. It is also interesting to note that the expected location of shopping center A is in the central business district, where cars are not permitted. By stark contrast, the probable location for shopping center B is in the rural zone to the northwest, which is much far away from the town center.  
  
As for major transportation routes, shopping center A is expecting to be not only close to the intersection of two main roads but also to the railway line － both roads and railway line run through the entire town from countryside to central district. Meanwhile, shopping center B is likely to be situated between the railway line and the northwest road.  
  
*   
*Question*
Try to deliver a more precise review by using the 3-5 paragraph presentation. Using the compressed presentation method is certainly quicker, but limits your ability, as the writer and reported, to fully utilize the C+C and GRA scoring considerations. The limited sentence presentation also limits the ability of the reporter to deliver a proper mix of simple and complex sentences. The run-on presentations do not always help the presentation. In the task 1 essay, the longer and more detailed the sentences are, the better the scoring possibilities. Aim to fulfill the requirements for the C+C and GRA sections as these are the more notable scoring sections for this task. The grammar is good. It does not contain any grammar errors that would reduce the score but, the presentation is too limited to help you gain a higher consideration in the end,.
***As well as making money, businesses also have social responsibilities.***  
## Do you agree or disagree?

  
  
Nowadays, besides maximizing profit, all the companies and groups around the world should care about making benefits for society. In my point of view, I highly agree with that opinion because community and the environment have abundantly contributed to their businesses.  
  
In one hand, almost governments always give many policies to encourage the development of all the fields. Currently, the national banks have given companies a lot of discount debts to help them enlarge their business. In addition, when a group or factory is at the edge of bankrupt, many leaders of cities or countries will support them in various ways, Moreover, the model of special economic area that allows companies to work with massive advantages is applied in many nations. All the chances and opportunities that the community creates for the businesses are for the hope they will attribute to a better society.  
  
On the other hand, to run a business, the environment is sacrificed greatly. The pollution problem is a global issue and it will never disappear except for the elimination of industries and human activities. People want to be wealthy so we destroy many forests, wasted a lot of regions, and making animals' habitat loss for our businesses. To respond to human destruction, nature has become worse and worse. Therefore, to fix our mistake, the companies need to support the government and society to rebuild our nature.  
  
In conclusion, making profits is the most concentration when everyone starts a business but prolonged development is the key for the success of a company. So, every business should have social responsibilities.
all the companies and groups around the world should care about making benefits for society  
This part cannot be stated as a fact. Rather, it should be represented as a possible discussion point due to implied conflicting views in the original. Remember that this is a written debate. 2 sides need to be present for an effective discussion.  
  
I ~~highly~~ agree  
No need to get emotional. This is a simple rather than extent discussion format. Just agree and say why using 2 reasons.  
  
In one hand  
On the other hand  
Do not use comparative phrases as much as possible. These have a tendency to alter the perception of your work from a single opinion to a comparative one. Use these phrases only in discuss both views presentations.  
  
Save for a few errors, the essay discusses a single opinion as expected and shows logical discussion points.
The prompt:  
  
***Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school.***  
  
## Discuss both views and give your opinion

  
  
My essay:  
  
As there have been more and more ways to achieve a well-paid job, debates about whether university and college education is necessary or not have sparked over the years. Some believe it is the best route to success, whereas others argue that getting a job immediately after school would be ideal. Personally, I agree that having a high education background would be the easiest path to high-end careers.  
  
Admittedly, there are multiple individuals who dropped out from colleges or universities, and became well-known for their achievements, Bill Gates as an example. Moreover, some may inherit businesses from their parents, thus, do not need to pursue higher education. As such, it leads people to falsely believe that universities are unnecessary to achieve success. Whilst that may be true for some selected few, in my opinion, the majority will not be as lucky, or as talented as they would believe themselves to be. Some studies were done in Vietnam regarding this matter. Up to 70% of startups by dropout students fail after two to three years. The reason was mainly the lack of skills, knowledge, and the understanding of the laws, which are otherwise taught in universities.  
  
Many public surveys suggest, people with bachelor degrees or higher have a rather low percentage of unemployment. On the contrary, around 8 to 10 percent of people who have only finished high school are unemployed. Not to mention people of higher education make significantly more than those who are not. While the data may vary amongst sources, the common trend is that people with high school diplomas or lower are not as successful in terms of income as people believe. Therefore, I believe education would be the key to success.  
  
In summary, I conclude that universities and colleges surely help people reach their career goals easier than without. Although the success of some people without the need of high level education is undeniable, it should be safe to assume such people as irregularities.  
  
Thank you for your help.
In summary, I conclude  
There is no sense in using 2 placement phrases in the end. Be more creative. Use a more academic wrap to the discussion. Show a college level closing statement rather than an ESL classroom taught conclusion summary.  
  
The discussion is well developed and shows a cohesive analyses of both points of view. The writer effectively presents the pros and cons of each in a manner that considers all possible discussion points. These created well explained reasoning paragraphs that the examiner can appreciate.  
  
However, there are certain sections where the writer comes across as ESL. More language fluency practice should help fix that. Scores are also awarded for ENL writing tones.
REVIEW:  
  
You are the arts review writer for a magazine. Your editor has asked you to review a film. Choose a  
film that you have seen. Describe the plot and the characters involved. Say who the film is suitable for  
and why. Mention any special effects or aspects of the film that stood out in some way.  
Would you recommend the film? Why, why not?  
Write your review.  
  
## Love always wins!

  
  
Yesterday, I watched an incredibly moving film. It's called 'The last letter from you lover'. It's a drama and romance film which is based on the bestseller romantic novel written by JoJo Moyes.  
  
The film shows the unbelievable story of a journalist called Ellie (Felicity Jones), when she discovers an intriguing love letter. As she is getting more and more involved in the love story that the letters hide, she empathises a lot with the couple. They happen to be an enchanting couple that have to live their love in secret, they are just lovers, and they cannot live together. To make matters even worse, the girl, Jennifer loses all her memories in a car crush accident so, she has to retry all of them progressively.  
  
The aspects of the film that I liked the most were the charming places where the film is set in and the incredibly realistic dialogues between the characters of the film.  
  
Teenagers and adults will enjoy this film, since it makes the mature audience realise it is a story that could happen to everyone. You will want to help the couple to get together and restart their lives as I did when I watched it.  
  
I strongly recommend watching "The last letter from your lover", it will make you realise the value of real love and appreciate the help of the people that surrounds you in your daily life.
A film reviewer knows to start the presentation by offering a summary of the story, without directly revealing the ending. Never forget to mention the immediate cast names along with the writer, director producer, and year of release credits.  
  
This is a good summary that does not try too hard to be a good review. It has won to be better. There should have been a deeper discussion of the set design as it relates to the 2 eras depicted in the movie. The directors approach to the constantly changing timelines ( the story is told in flashbacks), and how well the actors portrayed their roles would have been necessary to create a comprehensive film review as required by the writing instructions.
## fast foods expeditures

  
  
**Task 1 : The Bar graph below shows the Expenditure in Million Pounds on fast food items by income groups in the UK.**  
  
My answer:  
  
The bart chart illustrates data on the spending of the income groups citizens in the UK on three categories of fast food in 1990.  
Overall, the high and average class British prefer consuming hamburgers, while the low class spent the most money on fish and chips during the 1900s.  
  
The amount of spending on hamburgers was highest for rich people, around 47 million pound, which is just over 30% for the average income class and below 15% for the low-income class. Two other popular fast food items among the high earning people were pizza and fish and chips which consumed more than 15 million pounds in 1990.  
  
Among the average earning people, the second most favourite fast food item was fish and chips for which they made an expense of 25 million pounds in this year. On the other hand, pizza was the least popular item among the people of low income, at just above 6 military pounds and they preferred eating fish and chips and hamburger to eating the pizza.  
  
*
pizza and fish and chips which consumed more than 15 million pounds  
Seperate the data presentation. Pizza was consumed ata different financial representation. Do not assume shared data. This error shows that the image values were not properly assessed. One item= one reference. Avoid merging information the avoid information errors.  
  
47 million pound  
The currency reference is missing an S at the end. This should be presented in plural form. The currency reference is correct in other sections.  
  
On the other hand,  
What happened to the one hand? When using this comparison reference, do it in partner references/phrases. Otherwise, it doesn't make sense to use the reference.  
  
and they preferred eating fish and chips and hamburger to eating the pizza.  
This should be an individual sentence as the food reference in for an unrelated disk  
  
The writer has done a pretty good job at analysis presentation. More grammar and vocabulary lessons are needed since there are where most of the errors forus.
***In some parts of the world, the rate of divorce has increased dramatically over the past few decades.***  
## Explain some possible reasons for this problem and suggest some solutions.

  
  
In line with the shift in time, a recent phenomenon on dramatical increase in divorce indicates some concerns in terms of problems from getting married. This essay will elaborate on some probable causes and positive solutions which can improve this situation  
  
There are concerning reasons leading couples to split up and even go to divorce. Firstly, many married couples live with extended family, therefore, conflicts may occur between the young and the old generation during daily activities. For instance, young couple likely to have parties with friends at home but their parents assume those activities as ill-manners need to be fixed. Hence, young couple feel unhappy and depressed in their relationship. Secondly, having child costs married people more than when they are single. In the past, family usually helps pairs with taking care of their kids and helping them with expenses. However, present married duos have to manage everything, especially when their kids are still newborn, they look after their children and work to pay the bills at the same time. For that reason, they get much burden and depression.  
  
However, this situation can be improved by some possible solutions. The young and the elderly in extended family can confess with each other and find out a way to neutralize the lifestyle and bridge the gap between generations. Besides, married pairs may have therapy with psychologist before and during their marriage. These activities help them to relieve the stress and concerns they hold in their relationship.  
  
In conclusion, , by conducting some positive solutions to resolve common negative thoughts and feeling of married people, this situation would be better.
The prompt restatement is acceptable. The opinion part though, is not represented at all since there are no direct question responses provided. The discussion outline does not have a clear direction as required by the questions provided.  
  
~~There are concerning reasons leading couples to split up and even go to divorce.~~   
There is no need to repeat this information. It does not work as a proper topic sentence since it only repeats the last line of the previous paragraph. The first sentence of the reasoning paragraph must indicate the topic or subject of the paragraph immediately.  
  
The solutions presented do not solidly relate to the previously stated problems. The solutions must always be developed based on the previously stated reasons.  
  
A concluding summary must have 2 sentences comprised of 40 words minimum. This presentation does not present an effective discussion recap.
## Employment patterns in great britain in 1992

  
  
**The two pie chart below show some employment patterns in great britain in 1992**  
  
Given are the pie charts comparing two sexes in terms of the proportion of occupations in the UK in the year 1992.  
Overall, the majority of British women preferred non-manual jobs, while the figure for men was marginally fewer. It is also evident that clerical works were widely prevalent among the women, on the contrary, men were not interested in this form of jobs.  
  
As can be seen in the graphs, the rate of managerial and professional employment was highest in both 2 genders, 29% for women and 36% for men respectively; conversely, that of general labourers works were relatively negligible in the studied year.  
  
Regarding the percentage of clerical and related occupations in 1992, men overnumbered women in the ratio of 5 to 1 (nearly a third and 6%, respectively). In contrast, the opposite trend was true in the other manual jobs. Meanwhile, the proportions of craft among 2 sexes were the same, which stood at somewhere in the vicinity of a quarter.  
  
Thanks for your help !  
  
*
pie charts comparing two sexes  
Clarify that the pie charts for each gender is seperate. This confusing reference to the number of pie shouts is precisely why the image number must be mentioned in the first sentence along with the image type.  
  
proportion of occupations  
What are the occupations? The rundown would help add to the reference in the trending statement.  
  
[~~quote=papcaii]It is also evident that clerical works were widely prevalent among the women, on the contrary, men were not interested in this form of jobs.[/quote]~~  
  
One trend will suffice. In cases where there is a possibility of 2 trends, pick the strongest one and save the weaker reference for the reporting paragraph.  
  
The writer has forgotten to reference the actual measurements in relation to several mentions. Where a measurement value is present in the image, it must be reported in the paragraph presentation.