dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
## the popularity of Computer Science in the uk

  
  
**The bar chart below gives information about the number of students studying Computer Science at a UK university between 2010 and 2012.**  
  
The chart provides information about the total of British home and overseas scholars learning Computer Science at a United Kingdom university from 2010 to 2012. Students are the measuring units.  
  
Looking from an overall perspective, it is readily apparent that both kinds of students in male and female experienced an upward trend, while home scholars were larger than the other throughout the period.  
  
Regarding Men, its number of home students was about 39 in 2010. However, after a year, it sharply declined to below 25 before dramatically rising back to over 40 in 2012. In contrast, although the international category initially began with a lower rate ( 20 in 2010 ), it almost equaled home students at the end of the period.  
  
Concerning Women, the home students initiated with approximately 32 in 2010. Then, it tremendously increased non-stop and peaked at 45 in 2012. There was also a significant growth in international students, from 2010 with 14 to 2012 with 20.  
  
(162 words) I will be appreciated if you guys can give me a score ( scale of 9 in Ielts )  
  
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Please contact me privately for your scoring requirements. We do not offer public scoring of an essay as it is not part of our free review service.  
  
The chart  
As you know, the original instruction already identified the image as a bar chart and yet, you failed to properly identify the type of image presented. This is a bar chart, not a general chart. A general chart does not contain a specific image identifier as required by the task scoring system. The image information summary is a run-on sentence. You need to split that up into at least 3 sentences to avoid GRA score deductions based on run-on sentence presentations. By the way, you forgot to indicate the gender basis for the measurements in the overview. That is important since there are several gender references now available to the public. Therefore, specific gender identification is necessary in the task 1 essay, wherever it is mentioned specifically.  
  
Students are the measuring units.  
Students are the measurement subjects. The measurement (measuring) units refers to percentage, ratio, numerical count (in the hundreds, thousands, millions, megawatts, etc.) There is no measurement unit refererrd to here so it is safe to assume that the students were measured in the thousands. However, were a measurement unit is not specified, it would be best if you do not mention any either.
## Overview

  
While present research appeared void about planet Earth itself melting. The visible attestation of polar ice melting is greatly reported by researchers and scientists. The probable blame goes to climate change. According to National Geographic, climatic change generates long-term periods in global or regional climate patterns. The release of greenhouse gases is what caused rapid climate change per Foote's (1856) experiment. According to NASA, greenhouse gases absorb and trap energy, transmitting it into our atmosphere. In one statistic provided by Our World in Data (OWID), the world still emits 36.44 billion tons of annual CO2. The associated impacts are immensely evident. In one report of the World Meteorological Organization (WMO), extreme heatwaves and wild fires manifests during the 2015-2019 period. The augmentation affects all continents, leading unnatural threshold of new national temperature records. This equals how ice sheets in Antarctica are losing, resulting to liquefy. Whilst climate change continues to instigate ice glaciers melting faster, this permits to influence the behavioral crust of the Earth. In Coulson's (2021) research, they communicated the effects of why ice glaciers continue to melt and began to study the plate tectonics' movement in Antarctica. "In some parts of Antarctica, for example, the rebounding of the crust is changing the slope of the bedrock under the ice sheet, and that can affect the ice dynamics," said Coulson, who collaborated in the lab of Jerry Mitrovica, the Frank B. Baird, Jr. Professor of Science. While we cannot deny how the Earth's climate change is a global issue, some solutions are up to debate. But the cause of climate change is pointed towards humans. The figures below illustrate relative metrics that are supplementary reviewed.
While present research appeared void about planet Earth itself melting. The visible  
There is something missing in the reference point of the first paragraph. It does not make any sense. Maybe you accidentally started a new sentence when it was supposed to be a continous thought presentation at that point? Whatever it is, you have to fix that problem to create some sense of logic and reasoning in that part of the presentation.  
  
You are writing a an overview, also known as a summary, or, in higher academic circles, an abstract. This is a short form of the actual presentation. No citations, no quotes, no sourced information should be presented in the overview/summary/abstract. Rather than overview, this may be considered a cut and paste of a whole section of the research paper instead. You need to develop an accurate summary of your overall paper instead. Focus on:  
  
- The topic  
- The reason  
- Research results based on how the research of survey was performed  
- Potential solution or conclusion  
  
These are the parts that create an accurate overview/summary.
**Some people think that hosting an international sports event is good for the country, while some people think it is bad. Discuss both views and state your opinion.  
  
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.**  
  
The awareness towards holding global sports events of people has been rising nowadays. It is certain that being a host of a worldwide sports event is beneficial to the countries. In my opinion, the advantages of hosting such events will outweigh the drawbacks.  
  
First, hosting international sports functions help to promote the host countries. With the spread of social media such as Instagram and Facebook, more people around the world will start to discover the countries. A positive image may be built by google the fun facts or history of the destinations. For example, there are numerous posts discussing the cuisines and attractions in Tokyo during the Olympics.  
  
Second, organizing the global sports functions can increase the economic activities of those countries. Usually, people tend to watch the games offline and they will book the flight tickets to come and visit. For instance, many tourists came to China during the Beijing Olympics because they wanted to support their favorite athletes. Therefore, they booked accommodations and restaurants for their vacation. More profits can be generated from these activities.  
  
Although some people believed that hosting international events will damage the living quality of the locals, it is a treasurable opportunity for the locals and foreigners to have a cultural exchange. They may have the chance to get to know different cultures and languages and may make new friends through chatting with people who have various cultural backgrounds.  
  
To sum up, organizing worldwide sports events will bring a huge number of benefits to the host countries in the long term even if there are disadvantages in short term.
The prompt restatement+opinion is totally incorrect. You failed to restate both public opinions in individual sentences, then offer your opinion based on the given points of view. The alteration of the discussion from a compare + contrast + supporting personal opinion to an advantage v. disadvantage essay will result in a failing TA score because you are not discussing the essay as per the prompt expectations. This early error could very well be the reason that your essay gets a failing score in the end.  
  
Having reviewed the rest of your writing at this point, it is safe for me to say that the essay will not get a passing score as the task discussion requirement has not been met by your presentation. The way that you changed the discussion instruction shows that you failed to properly understand the discussion instructions. You must stop writing essay exercises at this point. Focus on familiarizing yourself with the discussion formats of the Task 2 essay for at least a week. Once you understand what the different instruction prompts are and how to properly approach it in your writing, you should be able to write prompt responsive essays already. You need to write prompt responsive essays if you hope to pass this test.
## open-plan offices evaluation

  
  
Do open-plan offices bring more benefits than harm, or the other way around? Nowadays, many companies have their employees to work in an open-plan office without any wall or barrier between the seats. Although there are obvious drawbacks, I believe that advantages of open-plan offices outweigh its disadvantages.  
  
Firstly, I believe that open-plan offices can help to improve working efficiency and environment. Especially for companies where its employees are usually involved in group projects, the absence of wall or barrier can make group discussion much easier and increases working efficiency. Open-plan offices also promote socialising between colleagues, unlike the traditional-styled offices where employees often only focus on their own work without communication with others which may lead to increase in stress levels. A recent study done by University of Japan have shown that employees working in open-plan offices work 70% faster than workers who work in the traditional-styled offices.  
  
However, there are some disadvantages that come with open-plan offices too. One of the main drawbacks is that it acts as a form of distraction. The absence of wall or barrier means that random noises or conversation between colleagues will be transmitted directly to the ears without any obstacles to lower the volume. For individuals who have a hard time concentrating in a noisy environment, open-plan offices will worsen the situation.  
  
All in all, I believe that open-plan offices bring more advantages than disadvantages to the table. The issue of distraction can be solved easily by wearing earphones, whereas the benefit of improvement in working efficiency cannot be neglected.
Do open-plan offices bring more benefits than harm, or the other way around?  
You cannot use a rhetorical question to represent the restatement of the original prompt. Use a direct statement format because you are expected to inform the reader, not ask a question. The second sentence sounds too much like the original presentation for it to be scored. It might just be considered a cut and paste of the original statement. The first paragraph seems to suffer from a problem in presentation originality.  
  
However, there are some disadvantages  
Scores are not provided for paragraphs that do not support the original opinion of the author. Single opinion essays, those that do not require a discussion of both opinions or, a comparison of 2 opinions, should never stray from the single opinion defense. Defending both sides will fail your TA score since you no longer have a clear opinion and, your essay will also meet word deductions for not meeting the minimum word count anymore. No score will be awarded for opposing reason defense discussion paragraphs. You cannot contradict yourself in your own opinion presentation.That is like saying, "I am right, but I am also wrong." Does that kind of discussion defense make sense to you? Exactly. it is a foolish way of proving your point. It is incorrect.
***Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Others think that, in today's world, subjects like Science and Technology are important than History.***  
  
## Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

  
  
In an accelerating pace of modernization nowadays, it is universally acknowledged that a constantly changing and competitive society is looking at the all-around education of candidates and not merely their academic credentials. However, there is a perception that History fulfills the most vital function of the syllabus, while others contend that this role should be attached to Science and Technology. From my perspective, both History, Science, and Technology are inextricably linked with each other due to several plausible reasons.  
  
There is no doubt that History has been offering tremendous assistance to learners regarding not only theoretical but also practical horizons. By getting exposed to the vary of wars and occurrences, undergraduates are directly engaged in the past that broadens their optimistic outlooks on today's life and arouses students' moral behaviors because of the pride and gratitude towards forefathers. For example, it is able for students to be conscious of present tranquility results from the suffering of ancestors, hence taking more responsibility for the motherland's development by achieving outstanding academic records.  
  
Nonetheless, as for the skeptics to this opinion, subjects like Science and Technology are more superior than History in being as the most essential factors in terms of rendering assistance to students' contemporary skills. It is gaining access to advanced facilities by attending these classes that provide students with many hard skills for the newly-created job opportunities. Taking computer, analytical, and presentation skills for instance, which recruiters expect in their employees, candidates are capable to develop these abilities unconsciously over the course.  
  
However, I am utterly convinced that both History, Science and Technology are not mutually excluded. While History focuses on instilling the solid academic foundation for further self-perfection into the psyche of candidates, technology-related subjects such as Science and Technology precisely show learners the way in controlling cutting-edge equipment, thus contributing to their future occupational competency.  
  
To recapitulate briefly, as for the aforementioned personal viewpoints, both History and subjects like Science and Technology play equally crucial roles in well-rounded education's contribution. It is high time for schools to aim at ensuring students' intellectual and social development which exerts influence on individuals' future career success.
A task 2 essay should be completed with no more than 300 words, within 30 minutes. The remaining 10 minutes should be used to perfect the presentation and correct the errors. The writer should not add any unrelated statements in the first paragraph. Stick to a simple restatement + opinion because that is what you are scored on. Whatever you think, or whatever it is you want to say about the topic, should wait and be presented in the reasoning paragraphs.  
  
There is no doubt  
Do not use misleading terms. There is a doubt about this opinion, that is why you are writing this written debate paper. By the way, since you failed to use pronouns in this paragraph, the examiner will not be able to identify if this is a personal or public opinion. You need to use third party pronouns in this case to indicate the difference from your personal opinion. You can imply it in the same manner that "skeptics" indicated the other group's opinion in the next paragraph. That was an effective method of differentiating opinions.  
  
Your personal opinion paragraph should be properly developed. Do not use run-on sentences and rush through your idea. You need to make that part of the essay the clearest portion, so use individual explanation sentences. Make sure your idea is clearly explained and well supported by examples and additional discussion points.
## coffee and tea drinking in australia

  
  
[Answer]  
The chart shows the percentage of citizens who purchased fresh coffee, instant coffee, and went to a coffee shop as a habit in five different Australian cities, namely Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, Adelaide, and Hobart in last four weeks. General, it is seen that people were more willing to go to a cafe ore than buy both fresh and instant coffee.  
  
It is immediately clear that the number of citizens in two cities, which are Adelaide and Brisbane, did not seem to enjoy fresh coffee as much as citizens in other cities, as these accounted for a third for each city. However, there was a difference between Adelaide and Brisbane in the percentages of city residents who bought instant coffee and drank coffee at a cafe. Almost more than half of residents enjoying instant coffee as well as going to a coffee shop in Brisbane, while these applied to only a half in Adelaide.  
  
In Sydney, Melbourne, and Hobart, people mostly enjoyed coffee and tea at a cafe, which was true of about over three-fifths of residents. In one of three cities, which was Hobart, the percentage of people enjoying instant coffee was greater than that of two remaining cities. Almost fifty-five percent of citizens, compared to under fifty percent for residents in the others. However, there was just under two-fifths of the figure for Hobart's citizen drinking fresh coffee, while this applied to nearly forty-five percent of people in Sydney and Melbourne.  
  
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The chart  
The column chart. Help the reader get an idea as to how the measurements are presented in the image. Do not just indicate "the chart" because that does not inform the reader about measurement and image specifics, which is a required part of the task summary presentation.  
  
The summary overview and trending statement will prove to be score reducing for the GRA score as these sentences both indicate the use of run-on sentences. These are sentences that contain more than one thought process or idea that results in a confusing discussion focus. As a rule, use up to 5 sentences per paragraph, each with an individual sentence idea. The cohesiveness and discussion clarity will come from the way your thoughts and sentences are structured in each paragraph, not in the length of each sentence.  
  
did not seem to enjoy fresh coffee as much as citizens in other cities,  
Do not provide a personal opinion of the information. Simply report the information directly, without any personal insight as this is a reporting essay, not an opinion essay. Analyze and compare the data only.
## The Effect of the Internet

  
  
Topic : Some of these changes have been negative, the overall effect of this technology has been positive. What are your opinions?  
  
The internet has brought about drastical changes in our lives in recent years. It is certain that those changes are highly controversial about whether they made our life better or they only worsen our society. From my point of view, i firmly believe that the merits of Internet far outweight its drawbacks.  
  
The very first notable advantage is that our communication method was revolutionized. Then, the only option we had was letter ,which was highly inconvenient as it could take a while to being transfer. As for now, with a smart phone we can send tons of messages in matter of second, and not just words, profiles, pictures can easily be sent regardless of places or times.  
  
Along with that, the Informations are now extremly accesible. The internet contain nearly all the news, knowleadges and informations on our world. With just few buttons you will get not only the exactly information but also further details about it like pictures,etc. Unlike in the past, we could obtain news through newspaper and advance knowleadge for a research might take weeks in a liabry.  
  
Admittedly, not all the informations on the Internet are valid and trustworthy. As we could potentially expose to offensive or misleading source for instance: fake news, violent videos,etc. While the Internet also cause many social problems like Internet addicted, online harrasment,etc. Nonetheless, if we're carefull enough, we will benifit greatly from the Internet.  
  
By way of conclusion, i restate that the influence of the Internet on our life is positive because not only does it connect us to the rest of the world but also save us a vast amount of time.
Okay, you have presented the discussion based on general observations of the given topic. Acceptable, but could have been better. Remember how the statement asks what your personal opinion is? The discussion was basically asking you to present the discussion based on your personal experience while using the internet. What did you see as benefits to you personally? What negative attributes affected you? How did these 2 experiences combine to create your final opinion about the internet? While a general discussion based on public knowledge is good, the personal point of view and experiences would have earned you more considerations score-wise since the reasons provided came from the anticipated personal experience and point of view as opposed to generally known facts. Do not get me wrong, the essay delivers, but it could have delievered more your final score if it had been approached differently.
## Inflow of foreign workers in Australia

  
  
The bar chart illustrates the changes in the number of people immigrating into Australia for permanent settlement and temporary work in a span of ten years.  
  
Overall, during the first half of the given period, the number of permanent settlers was higher than temporary workers, whilst an opposite trend was observed over the last period.  
  
Looking at the chart more closely, in 1992, around 40000 people came to Australia becoming permanent settlers, more doubled those for temporarily working. The figure declined dramatically, hit a low of 13000 people in 1994 and remained stable until 1996. By contrast, the number of people immigrating for working temporarily was less than permanent workers, with the figure standing at just around 15000 people in 1993, remaining stable from 1992 to 1996.  
  
In the period between 1997 to 2001, transient employees rise gradually in number, reaching a peak of over 45000 people in 2001, despite a slight fluctuation in 1999. As can be seen the same mainstream in permanent settlers but still less than 1992.  
  
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in a span of ten years.  
While this reference does indicate the number of years covered by the measurement, it does not accurately portray the period of measurement, which is a must in terms of information delivery within the summary. Therefore, you should have indicated the starting year (1992) and the end year (2001) as the reference points for the decade coverage.  
  
in 1992  
Be more specific about this year. What is this in reference to? The start of the measurement? The middle? Remember, you have to assume that the reader will not be seeing the image so every bit of information you present must have accurate reference points or target. You could have indicated that "When the measurements started in 1992..." for a clear reference starting point in the analytical paragraph.  
  
around 40000 people came to Australia becoming permanent settlers, more doubled those for temporarily working.  
There is a lack of subject clarity in the second part. What more than doubled? What was the actual number? Numerical references in the thousands were used throughout the chart, kindly make sure to always refer to actual data to give clarity to your statements.  
  
employees rise gradually  
Use the reference "rose" since that action was considered to be in continous movement within the graph at that point.  
  
As can be seen the same mainstream in permanent settlers but still less than 1992.  
Not sure what you are trying to refer to here.  
  
You have a problem with thought clarity and information presentation. You appear to not be able to think and write in a manner that clearly explains what you mean in English. This will be a major scoring down for you in an actual test. Focus on developing your English writing skills in terms of restatement skills.