dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
Topic:  
***More and more people want to buy clothes, cars and other items with famous brands.***  
## What are the reasons? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

  
  
Answer:  
An increasing number of individuals tend to purchase outfits, vehicles as well as distinctive things from well-known businesses. This essay will discuss about the causes of the fact and, from my perspective, the trend brings some drawbacks that worth considering.  
  
To start with, the tendency of paying for globally recognized goods come from the internal values of the brands : the golden quality of their products and customer service. Customers will certainly acquire products that are made from stable and finest materials for long term using. Frequent updates on commodities' appearances and styles also motivate people to willingly spend their cash. The length of warranty for the items bought from worldwide companies is a competitive advantage compared to that from smaller brands. In addition, global enterprises' strategies of taking care of their clients make huge impacts on people's minds while considering where to obtain items from. Customers will be carefully served even before and after their purchase of the goods. For instance, surveys created by the businesses and completed by potential buyers let companies know what goods are the favorite and necessary ones so they can introduce to their consumers in time. Long after patronages shop the items, they will still receive calls to ask for their experience, further assistance if needed or to simply greet them on special occasions.  
  
On the other hand; consuming commodities from popular brands shows some negatives. Local names with less budget, personnel and other resources to run professional services will find it extremely difficult to compete with worldwide companies and easily disappear from the economy which could lead to the monopoly of global businesses. People, relatively deeply affected by advertisements from dominant brands, can take part in a meaningless race of wasting money and time on unnecessary items to show off their assets and social ranks.  
  
To sum up, the trend of acquiring goods from famous brands mainly start from their inherent merits of goods' quality and customer service. That brings some disadvantages that needs to be seriously evaluated by both govenrments and inhabitants to prevent potential consequenses.
businesses  
Wrong reference term. The brand is connected with the manufacturer (correct term), not the business.  
  
This essay will discuss  
The requirement for this section relates tothe direct questions. These questions guide you in writing the topic paragraphs. Respond with direct answers, then expand the explanations in the essay. Use the questions to help make your paragraphs more discussion efficient.  
  
the trend brings some drawbacks  
Answer directly, you see this as a negative development. Use the question format for your response. Do not use response reference words that can alter the prompt such as drawbacks.  
  
You have way too many reasons presented but not enough discussion development. So, the explanations do not really exist in a manner applicable to C + C requirements. 2 related reasons, based on a solid example utilizing the reasons would have been the more appropriate presentation based on scoring requirements for that question.  
  
You did not respond to the question. This isn't a benefits or drawbacks discussion, that is a different prompt type. This is a negative or positive development discussion. While you provided a response, not all of it is related to the discussion instruction. You might not pass the test based on the failed scoring parts of this presentation.
***Society is based on rules and laws. It could not function if individuals were free to do whatever they wanted to do.***  
## To what extend do you agree or disagree?

  
  
It is often argued that a society without rules and laws, where individuals get to do whatever they wanted, would not function properly. On recognizing the consequences of this scenario, I fully agree with the idea.  
  
Admittedly, a lawless society is bound to face chaos and havoc. A community without guidelines and regulations is the perfect environment for crimes and misdemeanors. The public would have to constantly live in fear, knowing murders could be out there killing people but did not face any consequences for their actions. Moreover, crimes always leave dreadful results to victims involved. For instance, the injured party of a hit-and-run suffers from extreme effects, both mentally and physically, from the crash. If the person causing the accident were not punished appropriately for their wrongdoings, it would set a bad example for other members of the community. These examples serve to show that a society without the presence of law could cause social unrest and put citizens at risk.  
  
For the above reasons, laws and regulations must be set in motion to maintain order in society. The laws would work as boundaries, in which people still have their own freedom and they can do whatever they wish to as long as they abide by the laws. With the existence of rules and regulations, law-breakers are punished rightfully for crossing the lines, violating others' rights and benefits.  
  
In conclusion, I truly believe that society would not be able to function if laws, regulations, and rules were not set in place.
I fully agree with the idea.  
Based on what reasons? An opinion presentation is never complete without one or two supporting reasons. If you opt to use one reason, you can use that for a reasoning paragraph, then, write an example paragraph to better support your reason since the discussion needs a reason or reasons and a well developed example for TA and C + C scores.  
  
reasons  
You only gave one reason but provided several examples. Brush upon your Plural V. Singular word usage guidelines.  
  
Personally, I believe this essay would have worked better if you placed the example in a stand alone paragraph because it is a very strong presentation that warrants a stand alone presentation. While your second reason would have made your first reasoning paragraph highly developed and consistent with a higher than average C + C score.  
  
The conclusion could have delivered a better summary if you used a 3 sentence presentation that actually wrapped-up the discussion as opposed to this information lacking short sentence. That would definitely have been an added score boost.
Topic 2:  
***It is often claimed that wealthy nations should provide financial support to poorer countries for welfare, health and education. However, there are those who believe that it is the responsibility of developing nations to provide these services.***  
  
## Discuss both views and give your opinion.

  
  
These days, owing to the evolution of the world, it is frequently contended that developed countries ought to sponsor underdeveloped nations for better healthcare, academic quality and welfare. Conversely, opponents deem that developing countries should be responsible for these benefits. This essay will address both viewpoints and express my personal opinion.  
  
On the one hand, developing nations have the responsibility of sharing specific support with poorer aspects of the world. To begin with, emerging nations tend to possess abundant workers and volunteers due to the expeditious growth of population. Thus, impoverished countries with high rates of illiteracy can be assisted by knowledgeable educators, instructors, farmers from developing nations as these volunteers have the ability to teach unwise people to harvest crops, erect houses and numerous practical skills. This method can possibly help underdeveloped nations to suffer from hunger, poverty and diseases. Furthermore, middle-income countries also have other viable solutions to aid the poorer ones. To be specific, developing sides of the world can offer guidance on how to get over difficulties of an unhealthy economy and curb social ills to low-income nations instead of lavish spending in unnecessary fields. Hence, they can not only maintain developing countries' systems but also can fulfill the requirements of poor ones.  
  
On the other hand, there are several reasons why wealthy nations should aid poorer countries in some aspects of their economic and society. In the first place, what makes developed nations important is ample and high-quality facilities, which can make significant contributions to non-wealthy countries' systems. It is generally believed that economic powerhouses can effortlessly utilize their sufficiency of modern technology and education quality in the process of establishing superior profit organizations and manufacturing plants in destitute nations. Hence, poor countries' people will improve their job opportunities and obtain self-sufficient lives, gaining economic benefits for both countries. Moreover, industrialized nations are predisposed to have worldwide attention which are fundamental to raising funds for the underdeveloped sides of the world. To justify, the establishment of the Covax Facility ensuring the global equitable access to Covid-19 vaccines is mostly contributed by wealthy countries. By this way, two different sides of the world are acknowledged to be connected gradually.  
  
In conclusion, even though both viewpoints have their own merits, I side with the notion that industrialized nations should make the most significant contribution to underdeveloped countries. Nevertheless, it is highly recommended that every country should play a considerable part in creating a civilized society.
This essay will address both viewpoints and express my personal opinion.  
Don't tell me how you will write the essay. Tell me what you will write about and why. You already restated the two opinions, all that is left is your opinion statement. That would complete the thesis paragraph presentation as required You don't need to explain what you will write about. The reader should be able to understand the writing instructions based on the paragraph flow/presentation. That is how an academic s paper, which this is, should be written.  
  
I side with the notion that industrialized nations should make the most significant contribution  
This is your personal opinion. The required 3rd paragraph in this 5 paragraph format essay. As you placed it improperly in the concluding portion, you failed to properly develop your explanation as you did the first 2 public opinions. Your discussion is incomplete and cannot receive full scoring marks for the TA section.Your concluding paragraph also misses the mark as you do not present a comprehensive summary of the discussion points you presented based on the original topic reference.  
  
That said, you did an acceptable job of discussing the public opinions and reasons why each side has a valid reason for each belief.
Please help me with this, thank you sooooo much =((  
  
## IELTS Writing Task 1 (Bar chart)

  
  
**The chart below gives information about the number of social networking sites people used in Canada**  
  
The graph indicates the number of Canadian using several social networking sites in 2014 and 2015. On the whole, there was conspicuously a growing tendency in using more than one site at a time.  
  
In the year 2014, a large number of Canadian people preferred using one site only to serve their personal purposes, which accounted for 36%. Meanwhile, the percentage of people using no site and two sites was relatively similar, with respective figures being 22% and 23%. In contrast, subscribing to more than two sites did not seem to be so popular at the time as the proportion of three, four and five sites internet users ended up at 12%, 5% and 2% respectively.  
  
A year later, Canada experienced a slight growth in using multiple networking sites as the utilisation of one site only significantly dropped to 28% as opposed to the 'no site' category with a mere 1% decrease. Such a trend was not seen in the number of multiple social media sites users. The percentage of viewers connected to two sites endured an exceedingly modest rise to 24% while its 'three sites' counterpart increased by 4%. In addition to that, the proportion of visitors engaged to four and five sites also rose slightly by 3% and 2% specifically. Still, using 5 sites simultaneously was the least favorite.
This is a 20 minute writing task. Expert writing educators who have timed the drafting and final editing process all agree that the number of editable words for this task is 175-200 words. Writing more than that leads the writer to GRA and C + C errors, as evidenced by the errors in your presentation.  
  
In the summary overview, you failed to accurately identify the image beyond its general/generic identifier. This prevents the reader from creating a proper and clear mental picture. This becomes an issue, specially when their is no image attached to your report. The information provided does not offer a proper run-down of the available and highlighted information from the image either. This is not auseful summary overview.  
  
It is difficult to review your essay beyond this part as you have not uploaded the image for comparison purposes.
## **DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE?**

  
  
In this day and age, the topic of vegetarianism is an issue of considerable concern. While I accept that this trend can help people live healthily, I would argue that meat is a necessary factor for people's physical health.  
  
Those who are in favour of being vegetarian point to some clear benefits. It cannot be denied that there are a variety of vegetables and fruits which provide enough nutrition to people's body. For instance, potatoes and beans can bring enough calories in a meal instead of having more meat. Additionally, some fruits contain vitamins which is significantly beneficial for people's health and this can help to avoid illness. Regarding the ethical part, some people choose not to eat meat because they don't believe in killing animals for food when there are other ways to meet their nutrition needs. As a result, consuming meat has become less necessary.  
  
There is, however, room for flexibility in the sense that meat is the key factor in people's meals. It is vital to understand that meat is a lucrative source of protein which is essential to building muscle mass. For example, athletes should not be vegetarian because they have to practice many heavy exercises so they need to consume meat which supply enough nutrient and calories for their muscles. One should be mentioned that it is unadvisible for children to become vegetarian as they are in the period of growing up and they have to eat various types of food to develop physically.  
  
In conclusion, although being a vegetarian has a huge number of benefits, having some meat in daily meals has some plus points that cannot be denied.
I would argue that ... physical health.  
Arguing is not the correct response for the given extent question. To what degree doyou disagree with the statement? Totally? If yes, then you should have stated it. Remember that your English understanding skills are considered based on the validity of your response and opinion. You cannot argue without the measured response presentation first. That means,totally disagree first then use the arguement presentation as the supporting thisin statement. The result? A guaranteed clear extent response and clear opinion that will get a maximized TA score.  
  
Those who are in favour ... clear benefits.  
You disagree with the vegetarians so do not defend their point of view. The idea behind this discussion is to use 2 valid reasons that proves the vegetarian reasoning is incorrect. By defending their position, you alter the discussion requirement from single opinion to comparative. Rendering your opinion invalid since you are now uncertain of it due to this vegetarian agreement paragraph. You have created a confusing discussion that now lowers an otherwise good starting TA score. Remember, the instruction is for a single opinion discussion. No part of the original prompt required a comparative discussion.  
  
You might not recieve a passing score due to the conflicting response format. You can only be scored for the parts supporting your opinion, which will not be enough to meet the minimum word requirement without an additional supporting paragraph.
## **AN COMPARISON BETWEEN DIFFERENT TYPES OF MEAT IN A EUROPEAN COUNTRY**

  
  
The graph illustrates the amount of fish and meat consumed in a Europan country over a period of 25 years.  
Among 4 categories, it can be seen that there was a downward trend in the consumption of fish and different types of meat, except for chicken consumption. In addition, fish was always the least favorite type consumed throughout the period.  
  
Overall, if we look at the consumption of beef and lamb, these two figures shared a similarity. They both sustainably decreased over the period shown. More specifically, beef consumption dropped by haft from about 230 down to more than 100 over the 1979 to 2004 period. Meanwhile, the figure for lamb fell from 150 to approximately 60 during the period.  
  
On the other hand, the amount of chicken consumed witnessed a noticeably increase from nearly 150 to a peak of roughly 250 grams per person weekly, making chicken be the most favored type. Meanwhile, there was a marginal drop in fish consumption in the first year of the period. Then, the figure remained stable at about 50 grams later over the years.  
  
*
The graph illustrates  
There are two types of graphs indicated in this image. For better identification, task accuracy, and C+C scoring, you should be specific about it. Refer to the image as:  
  
there was a marginal drop in fish consumption  
@thanhtien2512  
  
*The image provided indicates measurements in line and dotted graphs.*  
  
Why will this specific identification help your score via presentation? Such a reference will help the reader create a mental image of the measurements, assuming the reader does not have a reference image to look at. You may even specifiy which item is using the said graph method for further clarity. Eitherway, you can only improve your score in the sections previously mentioned.  
  
a period of 25 years.  
Good reference but not really informative. As the actual years were mentioned in the image, you are expected to somehow, reference these in the presentation as well. That is, regardless of your variety in year reference. Your reference could affect the C+C as there is no actual year reference and also, reduce the GRA score due to the lack of proper understanding this brings to the reader. The reader is left with questions with regards to that part of your report, this making it stressful to understand. anytime that happens, these two sections of scoring will be affected.  
  
Among 4 categories,  
different types of meat,  
There is a problem with this presentation as it lacks clear references to the indicated products. Since you had already mentioned fish and chicken, you should have added the reference to beef and lamb. The non-reference added to the lack of clarity in this presentation. Definitely affecting your C+C score in a negative manner. Anytime you lack information in your paragraph, your score in that rubic consideration is lowered. You get individual scores before getting a final collective score. So consistent low scores in the sectional scoring will result in a low overall score.  
  
there was a marginal drop in fish consumption  
As compared to chicken? Why did you suddenly stop with the comparison analysis at this point? It is a requirement of the essay report. The data must show a comparative analysis at all times. You should have done it in this part as well. Though this ommission will not have a serious effect on your score, you mossed out on increasing your TA score further with that reference at this point.  
  
Overall, an acceptable essay. The points for improvement referred to here are observations based on score increasing considerations that you should have taken into account while drafting the essay.
@thanhtien2512  
You should replace with "the line graph"  
"a noticeably increase", "noticeable" not "noticeably"  
"making chicken be the most favored type", you can write that", and chicken became the popular choice for residents in a European country", I think the sentence will be better.  
  
"Among 4 categories", I think that this sentence is not necessary  
"Then, the figure remained stable at about 50 grams later over the years", you can use another way to explain " before remaining stable..." or ", which was followed by a stability...". I think your analysis is fine, but some words are not used correctly.
## Writing task 1 - the pie charts analysis

  
  
**The pie chart below shows the main reasons why students chose to study at a particular UK university in 1987 and in 2007.**  
  
The provided bar charts illustrate detailed information about the reasons for students' choice of UK university over a 20-year period from 1987.  
  
Overall, the highest percentage of students indicated that university course suitability was the most concerning reason in both years. The distance to their parents' house became the second-most important factor when choosing a school after 2 decades.  
  
In 1987, more than a third of students took degree courses into consideration (35%), while that figure for 2007 increased by 2%. Just over 20% was taken up by the number of pupils preferring the condition of the resources in 1987, which then went down to 17% later. That proportion for teaching quality witnessed an increment by 3% to 18% from 1897 to 2007.  
  
Although the percentage of students' interest in extracurriculars accounted for nearly one-fifth of in 1987, it plummeted significantly to merely 6% and was at the least concern during the year of 2007. These statistics for the distance between residence and school, in contrast, rocketed from 10% to 22% and gained the second-highest position.  
  
*
The provided bar  
Incorrect image identification. The images are pie charts, not bar charts. Even the original descriptive sentence called the images pie charts. Expect TA deductions based on this serious error. Accurately identify the images at all times. This will require you to make the extra effort of familiarizing yourself with all task 1 images for probable task identification .  
  
over a 20-year period  
The images state 1 specific comparison years, not progressing years. Another form of incorrect data presentation, another TA and C + C deduction on your part due to inaccurate information.  
  
The errors you present are already enough to assure you of a failing score and we haven't even gotten to the second paragraph yet. This is a very bad sign related to your analytical abilities which is the number 1 scoring requirement for this task.  
  
2 decades  
Again, there is no year on year comparison evident so you are really failing in the analytical aspect in a serious manner. You are improperly assessing the essay.  
  
You seem to do better in writing direct data related to the percentages /proportions. Maybe because you did not have to analyze that information.
@thanhngoc7404  
"The provided bar charts", you should replace with "the charts"  
"over a 20-year period from 1987", this phrase is not suitable for pie chart writing, you should use "in 1987 and 2007"  
"while that figure for 2007 increased by 2%" you can also use another better way to explain trending like "which was followed by a slight increase by 2% in 2007%" or " before rising marginally by 2% in 2007"