dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
## Individuals should not be allowed to carry guns as it increases crime and violence in society

  
  
There are twenty states in the USA which does not require permits for the open concealed carry of firearms. Therefore, many people think that citizens should be allow to visibly carry a gun in public places, but I do not agree with this idea.  
  
The enforcement of this law increasingly popular in USA. However, I witnessed more disadvantages of open carry than advantages. Reason being is because the management authority encouter difficulty in managing criminals.This is a ideal opportunity for terrorists carry out massacre by firearms. A number of observational examples show that they bring this weapon and blend in with the crowd at the train station or square easily without being suspected or checking. As a result, dozens or even hundreds of incident people have died from such shootings.  
  
Some might claim that open carry help citizens defend ourselves against dangerous person. An criminal could break into your home and may threaten your life. If you have a gun, all you have to do is shoot the intruder thus saving your family. Howerver, carrying a firearms in fact put you in danger. Accidents can happen to you if you use it incorrectly. Considering most people that carry a pistol open do not train in weapon retention or any hand to hand combat. You might even turn into a target of police officers. For instance, although, North Carolina is an open carry state, Keith Lamont, who a black man, was killed by policeman in Charlotte after he refused repeated orders to drop a handgun. We would not be able to predict all the bad things that happen to us when we visibly carrying a firearm.  
  
In conclusion, on the grounds that open carry is a threat to public safety, the govements and authorities should manage gun ownership of people together. Moreover, prohibiting open carry is neccessary for all countries around the world.
I do not agree with this idea  
Why? The discussion response is complete, but the thesis outline is messing. Clue in the reader as to your reasons, which will be expanded over 2 paragraphs. The outlined response will add to the task accuracy considerations.  
  
Use connecting words to create sentence clarity. Several sentence miss-out on the use of "is " and "a", which affect the idea presentation in the sentence. This led to confusing statements being made in the paragraphs. connecting word usage is of the utmost importance in essay writing. Always use these reference work or risk sizeable GRA score reductions.  
  
The writer presents a series of valid discussion points that are easy to understand. However, sentence structure and spelling errors will negatively affect the final score.
## youngster's engagement in some volunteering tasks

  
  
Young people are suggested to be involved in community work in their spare time as a chance to raise hands to help the local area. From my point of view, it certainly makes sense for youngster's engagement in some volunteering tasks with specific reasons below.  
  
From the first standpoint, not only can young people contribute their aids to arduous class, but they also reap a big number of benefits from doing unpaid work, especially strengthening their connectivity between them and society. Only by doing volunteering could the young further their experiences in their future jobs, considering this as a practicing chance. Better still, volunteering can stand out their profile application and the percentage of getting hired is higher. Through these meaningful works, youngsters are likely to count their blessings and get contentedness in life as well as self-satisfaction with their contribution to society.  
  
Moreover, on the invaluable side of the community's donations, these benefactions contribute not a small development to the general life. There are numerous unprivileged people so being volunteered will lessen their infelicitous lives. The higher the social safety net is, the more prosperous the country will be, this term has emphasized the direct proportion between volunteering and society. In addition, young people can cultivate their minds and easily to be responsible citizens by way of helping miserable walks of life.  
  
In conclusion, I strongly cling to my opinion that youngsters should contribution their efforts to volunteer work because it allows them to get a lot of advantages and have a well-rounded perspective of life.
it certainly makes sense for youngster's engagement in some volunteering tasks  
This is an incorrect response. The provided discussion instruction pertains to the extent of your (dis) agreement with the given topic. It is obvious that you are in agreement with the discussion points, but how strongly you support the stand is not represented.  
  
I strongly cling to my opinion that  
This should have been stated twice. Once in the restatement + opinion, then again, in a different phrasing in the concluding paraphrase. That is how this essay is formatted.  
  
Good job staying on track in the 2 reasoning paragraphs. You were properly focused on defending your opinion. something that will boost your score. The paragraph sentences are well connected with cohesive thoughts and coherent discussions. The transitions are unique and not reliant on textbook liamsition words. Another plus for this essay.
## numbers of divorces in Finland and Sweden

  
  
The bar chart illustrates the percentages of divorced people in Finland and Sweden between 2011 and 2015.  
Overall, Finland witnessed an upward trend in the divorce rates, while Sweden saw a downward trend throughout the period. Both two countries had some fluctuations. While the rate in Finland was initially less than that of Sweden, it outraced at the end of the period.  
  
Finland's divorce rate was nearly 40% in the year of 2011, then reached a low-point at around one-third of the divorced cases all over the world, as opposed to nearly 50% of that of Sweden in the same year. However, it can be seen that Finland witnessed a gradual increase in the rate, reaching about 37% in 2013, then rose to the more than 40% in 2014. It remained steadily until the next year in 2015.  
  
On the other hand, the percentage of divorced parents in Sweden accounted for around 45% in 2011, outnumbered the figure of Finland by nearly 8%. It reached the peak at nearly 50% in 2012, before dropping at about 45% in the year of 2014. At the end of the period, Sweden witnessed a considerable decrease at approximately 38% in 2015.  
  
*
Both two  
Beware of using redundancies such as these in your essays. You will get a lower LR score because of it. A redundancy is when 2 words with the same meaning are used in a sentence. Both, already indicates a pair or 2. Two, is the numerical reference to "both". Perhaps review synonym usage lists to avoid a repeat of this error in the future.  
  
outraced  
The correct term to use is "outpaced". When measurements outpace one another, the verb outpaced refers to the action of having surpassed or exceeded, as in speed, development, or performance. Outracing refers to racing or running faster than another. The writer is showing a degree of unfamiliarity with English word usage. He often uses the wrong term in reference to actions within the image.
## writing task 1 - telephone calls in finland

  
  
The given bar graph illustrates the number of minutes telephone calls in Finland in three different categories, over a period of 9 years, between 1995 and 2004. Units are measured in minutes in millions  
  
Overall, it can clearly be seen that all categories increased gradually throughout the given period, with the exception of the figure for local landline, which decreased over the second half. As a result, although the number of minutes in local landline remained the highest from start to finish, the gap for all figures was narrower at the end.  
  
In terms of the call category with the highest level of usage at the beginning, the number of minutes for local landline stood at precisely 12,000 minutes in 1995. The number then witnessed a gradual increase and reached a peak of just over 16,000 minutes in 2001, before declining steadily to its original level in the final year.  
  
Regarding the other two less usage of telephone calls at the start, the figures for national and international- landline and mobiles started at precisely 6000 and just over 50 minutes, respectively. The number for the former experienced a stable increase and peaked at just above 10,000 in 2004. Similarly, the number of calls for mobiles grew gradually to roughly 3,000 in the following 5 years, after which it peaked at nearly 10,000 in the eventual period.  
  
*
There is a miscalculation in the summary presentation. The chart is from 1995 up to 2004. It covers a full decade, or 10 years worth of measurement collation. Always double check your references for accuracy. The slightest error will affect the presentation and result in accuracy deductions. The measurement type is also deductible due to the cut and paste reference. You should have used alternative references for the keywords.  
  
The paragraphs need a better sentence balance per presentation paragraph. At least 3 sentences in all paragraphs produce better C + C and GRA scoring overall. Individual thought sentences in the paragraph will directly address that situation.
## The average carbon dioxide (CO2) emissions per person in four countries

  
  
The graph below shows the average carbon dioxide (CO2) emissions per person in the United Kingdom, Sweden, Italy and Portugal between 1967 and 2007.  
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.  
  
The line graph illustrates the average amount of carbon dioxide emitted each individual in 4 Europe countries over the 40-year period.  
In general, although the median emissions of carbon dioxide for all four regions showed some fluctuation from year to year, we could identify some clearly upward and downward trends.  
  
In 1967, about 4 metric tonnes of carbon dioxide were produced by a Italian citizen. This figure rose steadily until 1997 to reach approximately 8 metric tonnes and then levelled off. Sharing the same trends with Italy, the proportion of Portugal went up noticeably 4 metric tonnes, from the starting point at 1 to 5 metric tonnes in the end of the period.  
  
By contrast, the carbon dioxide emissions for the other two countries decreased by varying degrees. There was a gradual fall in the rate of carbon dioxide in United Kingdom during the given period. This proportion began with the highest number at 11 metric tonnes, kept decreasing and finally peaked 9 metric tonnes in 2007. The most fluctuated moving was the carbon dioxide production in Sweden. There was a sharp growth from 8 to 11 metric tonnes over 10 years, but then declined dramatically until 2007 and reached the similar level as Portugal at 5 metric tonnes.  
  
*
Be mindful of the writing time deadline. Practice writing with a timer in an actual exam set-up. By doing so, you will begin to understand why the 20 minute time allowance will never result in 248 words written. The idea is to write a simple analytical report. A summary of the image information. It need not be over analyzed or presented. 150-200 words will be more than sufficient for this task.  
  
Do not mistake more written words for a higher score. This is a misconception presented by some who believe that meeting the word count or more will result in a passing score. Wordcount is only a fraction of the scoring element. It is not the only scoring basis.On the contrary, it lowers the score because of avoidable errors that were not corrected because editing time gave way to writing time. This happened several times in this essay.  
  
Quite frankly, the way this essay is presented, it is not possible to accomplish in an actual scenario. You have to learn to write in short but understandable sentences, resulting in coherent and cohesive paragraphs.
## choice from two particular foreign languages during study

  
  
The bar chart depicts two languages, namely French and Japanese in terms of the number of 15-year-old students selecting to study in a particular school in Australia over a ten-year period between 2005 and 2015.  
  
Overall, What stands out from the chart is that there was an upward trend in the figure of students who decided to study Japanese while that of students choosing to study French experienced a downward trend. The most striking feature of the chart is that French was always the most popular over the period.  
  
As regards the decreasing trend, in 2005, the number of 15-year-old students selecting French to study was 13 times as much as that of students choosing Japanese to study, at exactly 130 students. After that year, the figure of students learning French underwent a considerable drop, with most of the decrease occurring in a 5-year period later, from 130 students to 90 students.Having reached a trough, that number rose fractionally, followed by a fluctuation between 90 and 98 students.  
  
Conversely, there was a dramatic growth in the figure of 15-year-old students selecting Japanese to study, from 10 students to a peak of 85 students in 2010. Despite a significant rise, it is obvious that there were considerably fewer pupils studying Japanese than students learning French. Following this, the number of pupils choosing Japanese to learn saw a slight drop, after which it varied between 65 students and 67 students. At the end of the period, this number finished at 65 students, which is 27 students less than the number of students learning French.
the number of 15-year-old students selecting to study  
Selecting to study what? The summary must be clear about its reference to the age group in relation to their interest in studying languages. The current presentation does not make that clear.  
  
Good work on the trending paragraph.That overview was well developed and presented. It clearly showed what the discussion flow will be about.  
  
One thing I noticed is that you tend to use value equivalents throughout the analysis paragraph. That proves to be a problem for the reader who does not have access to the image. A situation that occurred here. Without the image to refer to, I was lost while reading your presentation. Avoid using equivalents and refer directly to the numerical values instead That delivers a clearer analysis to the reader regardless of the image presence in the report.
## **In many countries schools have severe problems with student behavior.**

  
*What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?*  
  
Education is arguably the most important aspect in modern society. Not only it provides children skills and knowledge they need for their future life, it also guilds them to be an exemplar civilian that contribute to global development. Despite this, students behaviors are still the most critical issue that worried schools throughout the world, and various remedies have been address to tackle this problem.  
  
Many people hold a belief that schools are responsible for their students poor behaviors, but in my opinion, the problem lies in their family. Either they are spoilt or get neglected. In the first scenario, if students come from a wealthy family, their parents will give them everything they want regardless of price and reason. This kind of children grew up without consideration for others, and thus treating everyone as inferiors. In other words, these kids don't have to follow any rule. On the other hand, the kids that don't get enough care tend to act up for attention. Furthermore, they lacks parental guidance and more easily influenced by exterior factors such as bad friends. Both parenting styles are problematic, and if they continue, they will hinder kids moral compass.  
  
A good solution to this issue is to have periodic parents meetings or discuss the children attitude with their parents. In both situations, parents don't seem to aware of the wrongdoings, most likely because they are too busy, and should be reminded that their kids emotional and social lives matter too, not just their material one. Spending quality times with children, applying discipline and having talks about their behaviors can fix the problem, since no one other than parents have more influence on their kids.  
  
To summarize, parents presence in students lives is more important than many may consider. Lacking parents support can leads to many negative consequences in kids. Perhaps classes in parenting where parents and child learn to communicate better will come in handy in terms of raising the next generation.
The prompt restatement is over presented to the point where the author already shares personal insights on the topic. That is a no-no. A definite score deduction. Directly restate the prompt and outline the discussion in response to the question. That will only take 3 brief sentence representations. Save the insight for the body of discussion paragraphs. What you did was bigin a discussion (deduction) and fail to respond directly to the question by just restating the discussion guide (deduction). The task requirement was not addressed properly.  
  
Many people hold a belief that schools are responsible for their students poor behaviors, but in my opinion, the problem lies in their family  
The question was not addressed by the topic response. The question was:  
  
What do you think are the causes of this?  
, in relation to the students attitude at school. Focus on the responsibility of the school.This is a score down prompt alteration. While the parents may spoil the child, the school has disciplinary offices, guidance counselors, and a code of conduct that students are expected to follow on-site, regardless of how they are at home and how spoiled they are. The prior school related refences are whatusually fail. Those are the topics for cause and solutions.
## IELTS ACADEMIC-WRITING TASK 1- MAP- QT

  
  
*The two maps below show the developments along Olive Drive before and after the construction of new facilities between 1980 and 2010.  
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons  
where relevant.*  
  
The two pictures illustrate the transformation of Olive Drive after a renovation between the years 1980 and 2010.  
  
It is clear that there were a lot of significant changes around Olive Drive: more facilities and buildings constructed.  
  
Looking at the map closely, one can see that a lot of houses were erected in front of the park to the northwest, and a new school was added on the right side of the resident area.  
  
Most of the remarkable developments were on the opposite side of the Olive Drive road. The shops which were in the bottom left corner were completely pulled down for a shopping center and a supermarket. Moreover the bank near the shops was removed and replaced with a cafe. Finally, the size of the community centre was reduced to open a bank. However, in the south-eastern part of the town there was an existence of a hospital.[R][G][/G][/R]  
  
* 
*
The writer opted to identify the changes based on the year representations of the urban plan and design presentations. Yet, he does not use any differentiation tools when discussing the image content per paragraph.This is the greatest inaccuracy in this report presentation. As there are 2 images, the first image must identify itself as being from 1980. The second paragraph image should hold a 2010 topic sentence as well.  
  
The second paragraph should enumerate or describe the ouginal set-up, with particular attention paid to the areas that will have upcoming changes. That way, a comparative second paragraph basedon notable changes can be undertaken.  
  
The current presentation offers a correct comparison but, is rendered useless by the lack of proper identifying markers.
## the best way of learning

  
  
Today society, a number of people think that teacher are crucial for education. Many people say that student can be learn more things than learning with teacher. I partially agree with these both views because they all make sense. On the one hand, I think that traditional way of learning which have an interaction between students and teachers are really effective. By this way of learing, students can ask teacher something that they can solve by themselve. The more older teacher the more experiences that student can learn from them. When someone have a good tutor in their way of learning, they can use the knowlegde that they learn from their teacher confidently because the teacher have a lot of experience can make sure that their knowledge are true. However, it is undeniable that learning from internet and television also productively. A lot of knowledge in the internet that it even never exist in the school or a lecture of teacher. it probably betwice as effect as learning with teacher. But this way of learning just have well-qualified for good awareness person. A lot of students just use internet for entertainment purposes such as playing game, listen to music or stuff like that.  
  
In conclusion, demands of learning is really essential for students nowaday and they can choose the way of learning by their own. Both way of learning are good for a lot of kind of students and it's all help students can be get knowledge esier.
This is a failing essay had this been an actual test. The prompt restatement + personal opinion is tremendously confusing. Where is the restatement for each public opinion? These should be provided in 2 individual sentences. Why is your opinion leased on an extent response when you are not writing an extent essay? It is also more difficult to understand your discussion as you have not used the paragraph writing format to divide your discussion topics. The discussion requires 3 reasoning paragraphs or, 2 reasoning paragraphs that provide your opinion for each public discussion. From what I have read, none of the writing format requirements were met by your presentation.
## team activities teach cooperation and social skills

  
  
Undoubtedly, team activities can bring about imperative skills to one's life. Some reckon team group activities rather than people payed alone. I hold same opinion toward it and the reasons will be thoroughly elaborated as follows.  
  
Through team activities, people can obtain the ability of cooperation. To be more specific, people attending team activities it is need to collaborate with other people include work or game. The fact that use this cooperation skill can more effective achieve goals. Take myself as an example, when I was in primary school, I preferred to attend team activities such as team sport. Since they always made my peers and I work together in team sport. I found truly learn a lot of from this, including the ideas of cooperation.  
  
Team activities can teach people increase their social skill because frequently connect with people that realize the way how to get alone with each other.  
  
That is useful way to learn the skill of social include communication and body language.  
According to a study conducted by National Taiwan University, more than 60 % of social skills can be acquired in team activities, since individuals have to communicate and socialize more often to arrange their team work or play a game. This consequence result in people fully comprehends the skill of communication.  
  
In conclusion, based on the aforementioned, team activities definitely teach important skills in our life. Because through team activities people can learn about cooperation and communication skill, that is vital elements in group society.