dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
There are 2 tables presented for your analysis. You should have indicated that separation in your summary overview. It should have been presented as:  
  
*2 tables containing 4 sets of inter-related information has been presented for analysis. Table 1 indicates the rate by which an average person consumes potatoes based on kilograms. Table 2, presents related information pertaining to the production of potatoes in the million of tonnes. Both charts based the information on a survey of 5 regions across the world. The regions canvassed were South and Central America...*  
  
The overview should always represent the factual information, in short form from all the provided image. You cannot do one image and omit the other. That will show a lack of proper and full analysis on your part, which will affect your overall TA score. The rest of the presentation is solid. You did a good job with your analysis. You clearly showed that you understood what the target audience of the report is and you proceeded to write the data report for that crowd. Good job.
## The best way of evaluating student's knowledge

  
  
Essay topics:  
Only formal examinations, written or practical, can give a clear picture of a student's true knowledge and ability at the university level. Continuous assessment like course work and projects are poor measures of student ability. To what extent do you agree or disagree?  
  
My essay:  
Some people believe that students' s capacity can be assessed accurately only by formal examinations, written or practical at University level while continuous evaluations are not. From my point of view, I don't think formal examinations are better than the regular because of these following reasons:  
  
In the first place, we can't deny that it is unfair between theory and practice in formal tests. A variety of people claim that concepts make it easy and save time for both students and teachers. In fact, these are bald and difficult for students to understand as well. Consequently, learner's tend to spend much time studying all theories as well as ignoring pratising to cope with important examinations despite their feeling it intelligible and boring.  
  
Furthermore, when doing an formal examinations, candidates often get nervous. This can lead to forgetting something central. To give you an example of what I mean, my best friend - who has just done an examination for gifted students totally failed although she is intelligent and very hard-working.  
  
In addition, regular evaluations help much to follow students's progress particularly. Teachers may edit their own teaching ways for students to raise marks. Realizing ability and degree of understanding will impulse students to improve themselves. Also, students have a large number of opportunities to contact with several practical skills that can be important factors leading to success. For instance, beside holding formal examinations, there are more and more teachers give continuous tests to eliminate communal assessment about each student.  
  
In short, to gain a high qualification, I think teachers should apply both formal examinations and assessments in classes.  
  
----  
I hope somebody can fix my essay to be better.  
Thanks first 😁
The TA score for your essay will fail because you did not follow the proper discussion format. The discussion format is based upon the prompt discussion instruction which, in this case, was posed in the form of the question:  
  
*To what extent do you agree or disagree?*  
  
Your response is incorrect as it did not choose a clear position to defend, based on a measured response to the dis/agree question. The proper response would have been:  
  
*I strongly disagree with this position due to several factors.*  
  
Your essay suffers tremendously from lack of clear explanations and the misuse of English vocabulary. Your LR and GRA scores will not be able to receive passing scores because of these problematic presentations in every paragraph. You should not use an English word, just because you think that the word is correct. You need to understand the meaning of the word before using it. When you use the word with the wrong meaning, you create a confusing sentence presentation such as :  
  
...these are bald and difficult for students ...  
  
Bald means to not have any hair. You meant to use the word bad which means not good in any manner or degree.  
  
There is no such word as pratising. The correct term is "practicing" . You really do not have a good grasp of the English vocabulary at this point. Your LR score will definitely be within the failing mark range as of now.  
  
There is also a lack of clarity in your sentence presentations which create confusion for the reader because there is no thought nor essence/ subject to the presentation:  
  
*... we can't deny that it is unfair between theory and practice in formal tests.*  
  
What? I am not clear about what you are trying to say here. You need to remember that a sentence that makes sense in your language, will most likely end up mangled, lacking in clarity, and without a clear topic being discussed in English. You need to stop thinking in your language then translating to English for your writing. You have to think and write in English for your sentences to make sense.  
  
Basically, the lack of clarity in your thought presentation, explanation, and wrong vocabulary usage will be the main factors that will make you fail the test. You need to stop writing essays first and focus on your vocabulary development first. You may also develop your basic English sentence writing skills alongside that. Right now, you are at the beginner level of English usage. You are not yet capable of writing an essay that will pass the Task 2 requirements.
## Statistics of marriages and divorces

  
  
The line chart enumerates the proportion of marriages and divorces happening in the UK in the period of 25 years from 1975 to 2000.  
As an overall trend, while the number of divorces slightly increased, the rate of the first marriages and total marriages experienced a decrease.  
It is conspicuous that there was nearly 350 thousand marriages in 1975. Then this number went up progressively and reached the peak at about 400 thousand. However, after that, there was a dramatical reduction in marrages held in the UK from 1985 to 2000 ( by 100 thousand ).  
  
When it comes to total marriages and 2nd marriges, it can be seen from the graph that the the number of both of them gradually fell slightly over the period of 5 years and then had a downward trend in 1995. Nonetheless, they both seemed to move upward again.  
  
In contrast, there was a considerable growth in the proportion of divorces from 50 thousand in1975 to over 250 thousand in 2000 eventhough it was so much lower than three other categories, especially when compared to the first marriages.  
  
*   
*please help me to correct it*
*The line chart enumerates the proportion of marriages*  
It is in thousands not a percentage.  
*As an overall trend, while ...*  
You missed one line of data in your overall description.  
I suppose it should be "350 thousand first marriages".  
*divorces from 50 thousand in1975 to ...*  
It is clear from the graph the number is not 50 thousand, more likely 75 thousand. But I have no idea whether examiners would mark this as a mistake.  
  
*eventhough it was so much lower than ...*  
This sentence is redundant, no new information presented.
You have not been able to prove that you have done an original restatement of the discussion instructions from the original prompt. You retained too many of the original keywords in your presentation. You have to change the original presentation as best as you can. One way of delivering a different statement would have been:  
  
*The line graph highlights the 25 year trend of matrimony and annulment cases in the UK. The information was collected within 2 decades and half starting in 1975, ending in the year 2000. The numbers were collected in the value of thousands based on the total number of marriages, 1st marriages, 2nd marriages, and divorces. Overall, the trending graph showed that marriages were on the decline while divorces were on the upswing.*  
  
Try to avoid the use of parenthetical information. The use of parenthesis is not really advised in the academic presentations as it indicates an omitted, but required piece of information. You should be presenting the information within the paragraph requirements instead, as full sentences, to avoid any information confusion.  
  
The minimum sentence requirement per paragraph is 3 sentences. This is to help you avoid the creation of run-on sentences. Your paragraphs are mostly long sentences, which will not be scored as complex sentences because of the error in information presentation. Do not confuse long sentences with complex sentences. These are not the same thing. Review your complex sentence creation lessons to help you avoid this common error in report writing.
## Leisure time activities in the USA

  
  
The provided line graph gives information about free time activities of the elderly in the United State in the period of 20 years from 1980 to 2010.  
In general, reading, hiking , watching TV and surfing the internet experienced an upward trend while the theater shows a downward trend.  
As the given chart, there was a dramatic rise with no fluctuation in hiking from 20% in 1980s to over 80% in 2010s. Both watching TV and surfing the internet increased gradually between 1980s and 2000s, however, surfing the internet started to increase sharply from 15% in 2000s to over 50% in 2010s contrasted with the fall of watching TV in this period.  
  
From 1980 to 1990, in comparison with going to the theater, which underwent a significant decrease by 20%, the percentage of reading rose gradually. In 1990s, going to the theater increased back again peaking at over 45% in 2010s while reading suddenly fell to 20% in 2000s before reaching 60% in 2010s.  
  
*
You have to use the proper format for the task 1 essay. That means, you have to separate the presentation into 3 - 4 paragraphs. The paragraphs are as follows:  
  
Par. 1 - Summary overview  
Par. 2: - First data report  
Par. 3 - Second data report  
Par. 4: Comparison point/s  
  
All paragraphs need to be within 3-5 sentences in length. Although for a task 1 essay, you may find it hard to hit the 5 mark so 3 sentences will suffice. The essay actually lacks the comparison discussion. A closer look at the graph will show that there are several overlapping lines that could have been used to refer to the comparison requirements in paragraph 4. 3 reference points would be good enough to meet the comparison requirement of the report.
## Diplomas and degrees in Singapore

  
  
The bar chart illustrates the data of total school spending in Singapore from 2000 to 2012. The pie chart compares the percentage of Singaporean students adwarded degree and diploma qualifications in higher education in 2000 and 2012.  
  
Overall, the school expenditure in both gender increased throughout the time surveyed, while the proportion of people gained dilopmas in Singapore was higher than those of degrees  
  
In terms of boys schools, there are approximately 10 millions dolllars paid for school expenditure in 2000, compared to only 7 millions of girls schools. The expenditure spending on Singaporean boys schools increased dramatically during 12 years, reaching the peak in 2012, at around 32 millions dollars. The school expenditure for girls experienced the similar trend. After slightly rising to about 12 millions and remaing stable in next 4 years, it surged to exactly 20 millions at the end of the period.  
  
In 2000, 27% of students gained higher educations were degree holders, while this figure for dilopma holders was 73%. The ratio of people achieving dilopma gradually decrease to 68% in 2012. By contrast, the figure for degree holders in Singapore rose slightly to 32% in the end of the reseach period.  
  
*
I cannot fault your information presentation. It is accurate and truly comprehensive in presentation. It is clear and easily understood, even if I do not look at the included images. That is not to say that you do not have mistakes in your presentation though. You still have spelling and grammar issues within several sections of your presentation. Let me break it down for you below.  
  
Spelling:  
  
adwarded = awarded  
dilopmas = diplomas  
dolllars = dollars  
reamaing = remaining  
dilopma = diploma  
reseach = research  
  
As you can see, these errors could have been easily spotted if you had just taken the time to review your work instead of being in a hurry to consider it completed and submitted for a grade / consideration. Remember, the LR score is based not only on how well you used the words, but also, considers whether or not you can spell the words properly.  
  
Grammar Issues:  
  
Plural form - Million is already the plural form of the word, no need to say millions.  
  
This problem can be easily resolved by having you review more of the plural form usage guidelines and also, familiarizing yourself with the use of English words in both singular and plural form. Start with memorizing the singular and plural form for everyday objects, time references, and monetary forms. You did well on the report, but you have several issues that would lower your LR and GRA scores.
## temperature changes in Antarctica

  
  
The graph below shows the average temperature in Antarctica in June 2015.  
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.  
  
The chart provides information about the temperature changes in Antarctica during June of 2015.  
  
Overall, the temperatures were considerably fluctuating throughout the month with every low point followed by a peak.  
  
As the data illustrates, the coldest day recorded was the first day of the month with almost minus 60 degrees Celsius on the thermometer. The weather started to improve during the next several days and entered the first, albeit smaller, peak of June reaching minus 54 degrees between June 5 and June 9. After falling down by three degrees by June 13, the situation significantly improved once again and Antarctica witnessed the second period of relative warmth. This time it was the warmest period when the temperature climbed to nearly -50 degrees C on June 21. During the rest of the month, the continent experienced a prolonged downward trend with the coldest days in the end of June when the measurements indicated a total drop by 8 degrees from the previous highest record.  
  
*
While you did write 162 words, your essay does not follow the presentation requirements in terms of paragraph presentations. You need to present 3-4 paragraphs for this essay. Each paragraph should have 3-5 sentences that indicate the data provided. You decided to compress everything into a single paragraph presentation, which will negatively impact your final score. Meeting the word count is useless if you did not format the presentation properly. You will meet with point deductions in this case, which could prevent you from achieving a passing score.  
  
The summary overview does not present the complete summary information. You neglected to present the type of measurement, the range of temperatures considered, and the inclusive dates of the month of June. You cannot simply say, for the month of June. You need to give the start and end date of the measurement because it is indicated in the chart. The trending statement should have indicated the highest and lowest measurement points to show the fluctuation trend from the chart. The summary overview should be able to inform the reader of the complete information even without having to read the whole report. Hence, the data accuracy is of vital importance in the summary overview.  
  
Unless you know how to use the special character for Celsius in the presentation, it will be better for you to spell it out every time you present the measurement. That way you keep the reader reminded of the measurement type used. Simply saying C might end up confusing the reader who may forget what the letter stands for.  
  
Format the essay into proper paragraphs to make it easier to read and also, allow the examiner a better opportunity to assess your ability to clearly explain the data, per paragraph. This will help increase your overall scoring considerations.
## WRITING TASK 2 - IELTS: Environmental problems

  
  
Hello everybody. I am a newbie and I have just known this website when browsing on the Internet about the platforms to effectively practice writing. I am trying intensely hard to prepare for my first Ielts Exam in the next few months. So could you please take a little time to read and give me some recommendations on my below essay? If possible could you leave a comment which band this essay can get?  
  
**Topic:** Explain some of the ways in which humans are damaging the environment. What can governments do to address these problems? What can individual people do?  
  
**Answer:**  
Nowadays, the problem of the environment being damaged has been receiving a great deal of public attention. While this is caused by humans in various ways, there are a bunch of solutions that the governments and individuals should take into account to deal with this issue.  
  
It is true that humans are damaging the environment more and more today. First, since the demand of convenience rises, people are more likely to choose plastic products for plenty of purposes, such as food containers or other disposable plastic products. In fact, the huge number of plastics are being discharged into the environment, which takes thousand years to completely decompose. Second, due to the industrial activities and a growing number of means of transportation in recent years, it is obvious that there is a massive amount of carbon emission to the environment. This means that the more carbon being released into the environment, the heavier the global warming will become.  
  
Nevertheless, there are a variety of solutions that governments and individuals should consider to protect the environment. First, in order to encourage people to use environmentally friendly products, the governments could organize the green strategies on the regular basis. For example, those campaigns can emphasize the detrimental impacts of plastics on the environment and propose green alternatives, such as paper bags, which is not only beneficial to the environment but also good for public health. Second, individuals can proactively contribute to the environmental protection by getting familier with public transportation. This habit change can help to significantly reduce carbon emission, which lowers the speed of environmental degradation.  
  
In conclusion, it can not denied that the environment is damaged by humans activities. However, I strongly believe that if the governments and individuals together exert themselves, the environment could be possibly saved.
## The problem of raising children these days

  
  
Hi, I am trying so hard these day to get a higher band in my writing while our country still under lockdown and our schools are closed so I have more time for preparing the IELTS test. This is my another essay, could you evaluate it and if you have time could you tell me which band this essay may get ? Thank you so much for your time and have a good day.  
  
Topic 3:The position of women in society has changed greatly in the last 20 years. Many of the problems young people are now experience, such as juvenile delinquency, arise because married women now work and do not have time to take care to their kids.  
  
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.  
  
As society progresses, family has been through a series of alternations and shifts in term of models and member roles. More and more women go to work and participate in social activities in order to provide finance for themselves and their family. Since the social roles of women changed, opinions are differ as to whether existing a strong correlation between these changes and the rise of crime committed by teenagers or not. In my own point of view, I strongly disagree with this opinion.  
  
To begin with, there are many factors that lead to youth crime. For examples, the exploration of the Internet and the popularity of mobile phones. Children nowadays are no longer be dictated by their parents anymore, they are independent and have their own space so it is harder to control them. In addition, online access also comes with risks like inappropriate content, cyberbullying, online predators that could pollute children's mind and make kids more prone to social evils.  
  
On the other hand, since the number of working mothers increased over time, two-income family have become a typical family structure in modern day. That means that child-bearing become a priority for both mothers and fathers, they have to cope with the demands of both career and family. So if a child committed a crime then not just only the mother has to responsible for that action but also the father.  
  
In conclusion, I believe that to raise and protect the future generation we need harmonious and effective collaboration between mothers and fathers, they both have to spend time and supervise their children. More importantly, content which is shared widely on the Internet should be restricted and controlled effectively so that online platforms can no longer pollute children's mind anymore.
@emillia2003  
Your third paragraph is not clear, at least to me. First two sentences tell about families where both parents work, so I assume this paragraph backs up the main topic which is ok. But then the last sentence about the responsibility does not fit here. Not that I disagree but it is not what the paragraph seems to be about and not what the topic of this essay is.  
  
Your third paragraph is too short in my opinion, three sentences usually is not enough. It is even shorter than the introduction.
The extent essay is a single opinion essay that does not allow the writer to give a compare and contrast discussion due to the instruction requirements for the discussion. Wherever the OR word is included in a discussion question, the writer is given the opportunity to focus on only one discussion choice. The word OR connotes an alternative response. It is indicative of a decision that has to be made regarding the writer's opinion of the given topic. Only one side has to be represented otherwise the essay will be scored down. In this case, the essay will be considered only partially correct in format and response. It will lose points for a number of reasons:  
  
- The direct opinion was discussed in a comparative format, indicating that the response is tangential in content.  
- TA scoring will be provided only for the portions of the essay that support your response to the discussion question. The essay will have points deductions for being under the word count. The under the word count situation happened because you used a C/C format instead of a focused opinion discussion.  
  
- The words relating to the non-supported discussion will not be counted towards the word count requirement of 250 words. A percentage for the missing word count will be deducted from the TA score.  
  
- The explanation provided for the POV that you support is under represented. It needs more information in terms of examples and supporting explanations for one topic sentence only. Using 2 topics in one sentence is what created the under supported explanation presentation.  
  
As such, there will be enough subtracted points to adversely affect your final score. This will not get a passing mark because of the error in discussion formatting. A direct opinion essay must support only one point of view, not 2 points of view. That is why you were asked to make a choice between 2 possible discussion points. You can only use the C/C format in "discuss both points of view" discussion prompts.