You must make the thread Urgent for a new review from a Contributor, thank you.  
  
First Paragraph (Introduction): The second sentence is against privately owned hospitals, and the third sentence supports privately owned hospitals. It's good that you mention both sides. However, both stances are too strong. If you change the wording of those two sentences so that the language is more mild, then the introduction will be more appropriate for an essay discussing pros and cons in the following paragraphs. Because the prompt is asking for both advantages and disadvantages, you don't need to use such firm language when introducing both sides.  
  
Second and Third Paragraphs (Body): 1) You have good information for both paragraphs. You just need a topic sentence for each paragraph to keep tying those facts back to. Every time you mention a fact in a body paragraph, explain more explicitly how it relates to the topic sentence of that body paragraph. 2) The essay might be easier to follow if you discuss the advantages before the disadvantages.  
  
Fourth Paragraph (Conclusion): It is good that you addressed both the drawbacks and the benefits that you mentioned in the preceding paragraphs. Since you mentioned that privately owned hospitals compromise patient safety, it doesn't seem appropriate to use the phrase "improving the quality." Instead, maybe you can mention how privately owned hospitals continue to offer care to a greater number of people who would otherwise have no access to any medical care at all. In this way, private hospitals increase the reach or jurisdiction of the medical care system.  
  
General: You do not need to mention "I," "me," "my," or other first-person words, unless they are being used for style or emphasis.  
  
Revision:  
  
**It is irrefutable that having good health is one of the fundamental rights of every human being. Health care is extended to people by both public and private entities. Privately owned hospitals can offer benefits that public hospitals cannot, but they also have their drawbacks.  
  
Governments should encourage private organizations to invest in medical systems because privately funded hospitals can handle unfavorable situations and offer resources that public health care systems cannot afford to. For example, public medical centers struggle to offer high-quality care when they are overloaded with patients. Meanwhile, private hospitals are financially well-supported, so they can open up branches in a multitude of areas and serve a greater number of people than public hospitals can handle. Thanks to local private clinics, residents of rural and mountainous areas can easily access health care without needing to travel long distances to central hospitals. Secondly, private hospitals have the money to provide patients with more and technologically advanced choices when they are seeking medical care, whereas public hospitals can only supply limited options because of their low budgets. All in all, private hospitals can present patients with amenities that public hospitals cannot.  
  
On the other hand, because making money is the top priority of private holding companies, privately owned hospitals engage in practices that put human lives at risk. Private clinics charge exorbitant fees for their services and prescription drugs. Consequently, patients who cannot foot the private systems' medical bills are denied access to treatments that are crucial to their well-beings. In addition, privately held hospitals minimize labor costs by staffing low-wage, unqualified medical practitioners. Such hiring practices ultimately put human beings at risk because patients can be misdiagnosed and not receive vital treatments as a result. Thus, though privately owned hospitals have the funding to offer quality care, they do not always function in ways that prioritize patient care in reality.  
  
In conclusion, despite the advantages offered by privately held hospitals, it is in patients' best interests to have both public hospitals and private clinics be available to them. Patients should be able to decide which hospitals to frequent based on the quality, affordability, and safety of the care they desire.**