dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
***It is pointless making children who lack artistic talent learn painting and drawing in Art classes at school. Instead, they should concentrate on other creative and practical subjects which they may have more aptitude.  
  
To what extent do you agree or disagree?***  
  
It is commonly believed that children need to join in the art class such as painting and drawing class although they have a lack of interest on it, instead other people argue that it is useless as pupils have to focus on the subject that encourage their skills. While other think that learning art is fun, I am more likely agree that children who do not like art supposed to learn other creative and practical subject that they desire to.  
  
The proponents think that learning art is enjoyable since it is correlated in how children improve their creativity through imagining something. In a class painting or drawing, many young learners are guided to draw a scenery, person, house, or animal. In this case, it attracts children to think deeply on the object they wish to paint and put on the colours on it. The combination of imagination with object and colour that believed being capable of enhancing chidlren's thought. therefore, it is true that art class like painting and drawing can improve children's creativity.  
  
On the other view, people stand to argue that children need to enhance their creativity and practice through the classes that they enjoy. Every child has a different ability that need to be improved in the way they focus on the learning related to their skills. The recent research by Transylvania University revealed that children who focused on their personal aptitude have bigger chance to be success in the years of come than children who join all the subjects in the school. Besides, letting children be taught a subject that they do not love will bring the depth pressure and continuously make them suffer stress.  
  
All in all, I firmly believe that children who lack of interesting in art are not supposed to be involved in the art class since it is not meaningful for them. They need to concentrate in building their creative, practical, and critical thinking on the subject that encourage their ability, thus they will be master on it.
Aloha Chaca, here are my thoughts;  
  
~~although they~~in fact, many of them have a lack ...  
~~instead~~therefore, other people argue...  
While ~~other~~others think that learning (...) more likely to agree that children (...) art are supposed to learn **other** creative and practical ~~subject~~**subjects****("other" is always followed by "plural noun")** that they desire to. OVERALL, YOUR INTRODUCTION IS INTERESTED TO READ, ALTHOUGH SOME WORDS YOU WRITE MAKE ME MISSUNDERSTANDI
**Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this.**  
  
**Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.**  
  
**Writing Task 2 (Scoring Test Week-III)**  
  
Nobody in this world can lives alone without create social relationship. But, every children certainly don't know how to build social interaction without presence of adults who help them. So, I think parents and teachers in the school have the biggest role in supports the child being actively in their lives environment. In addition, the parents and the teachers are the first adult that very close with the child. Thus, both of them should take an action for directing the child being a good member of society.  
  
Actually, the parents can do their roles through giving the child opportunity in being pro-social or fast responses towards every people that needs help in nearby of the child. First, surely the parents should show them a real example as the role models for children. For example, the parents usually active in any-social activity such as working together with other society in around their house every weekend. Parents can asks their children to join with them. Indirectly, through this simple attitude, the parents have been taught their children to be socialize and increase their ability in social interaction.  
  
On the other hand, the teachers also have same position as important as the parents. For example, the teachers can educate the child to improves their social responsibility since early by anything of extra-curriculum activities. By doing some activity as being the member of scout team, can give the challenge to the child for makes them become more sociable. Because the children as being the students in the school also needs for making social group not only in the class but also in outside of the school. With become a member of scout, the child will be more practice in give help to other people directly and immediately can build up the social character to the children in society.  
  
All in all, with giving support towards children for build them being active person in social relationship is the main duty of the parents and also the teachers to create these thing grow from inside of the child self.  
  
(330 words)
Hi SarlindaDS\_27, let me give some comments on yours  
  
1. Nobody in this world can ~~lives~~live alone  
after modal is infinitive, so lives should be changer to infinitive ---> live  
  
2. ...without ~~create~~creating social relationship ...  
because there is a verb before this sentence, so to avoid double verb, change create to another form, for instance 'crearing'  
  
3. ... the first adult that are very close with the child ...  
after conjunction 'that', verb is needed, therefore I give verb 'are'  
  
thank you
**INTRODUCTION**  
*your introduction is too bulky. Do not compose it too detail since all of those details are supposedly mention in body paragraph. Keep your introduction simple but still showing your understanding of the question by fully, but briefly presented, what the task response ask to write.*  
  
**you may just write like this:**  
*Nobody in this world can lives alone without create social relationship. But, every children certainly don't know how to build social interaction without presence of adults who help them. So, I think both parents and teachers in the school have the biggest role in supports the child being actively in their lives environment and being a good member of society.*  
  
**BODY PARAGRAPH**  
*overall, the way you composed your body paragraphs is good despite of accuracy and sentence function issue that you need to concern since it may cause problem for reader on understanding what you write about.*However, you did not emphasize your own perspective relating to the issues here so your writing do not fully address the task response  
  
**CONCLUSION**  
*I can catch your idea and it simple to, but surely the way you produce your sentence should be concerned since it really makes it hard to comprehend. You do get the nice flow of writing then.*  
  
Good Luck
**WRITING TASK 1 : JAPANESE POPULATION FOR 50 YEARS**  
  
The bar chart and the table compare the information about the number of inhabitant in Japan during a century ; from 1950 to 2055 calculated in millions and the quantity of elderly resident aged 65 years above. Overall, it is clearly seen that the sum of Japan's population is keep increase throughout the years until 2005, while the old age people's figures will be projected rise up to 2055.  
  
The total number of resident in Japan experience a gradually increase for fifty years, since 1950 to 2005. Its figures hit the peak of population in 2005. While, the reverse condition occured after 2005, where the quantity of Japan's inhabitant decrease slightly until 2015. Moreover, the reduction of Japan's total population will have been decreasing sharply by 2055.  
  
Looking at aged people figures, its number experience an upward trend and will be predicted increase up to 2055. The enormous amount of elderly resident's increasing number seen from 1950 until 2005. There was an increase of about 21% at the time. However, the next increasing number of elderly only projected about 10% in each twenty years (from 2005 until 2055).
... information about the number of ~~inhabitant~~inhabitant**s** in Japan ...  
  
1. Remember ! Inhabitants ---> for plural form, because it is countable  
  
the quantity of elderly ~~resident~~**residents** aged 65 years above  
  
2. Remember ! residents ---> for plural form, because it is countable  
  
the sum of Japan's population ~~**is keep increase**~~**still increase** throughout the ...  
  
3. is + keep + increase ---> triple verb  
  
The total number of ~~resident~~**residents** in Japan ~~experience~~~~a~~increase gradually for fifty years, ~~since~~from 1950 to 2005  
  
4. Remember ! residents ---> for plural form, because it is countable  
  
5. a + noun ---> a gradual not gradually (adverb).  
  
6. Experience is not appropriate (see Cambridge dictionary examples) for this world , because it has different meaning.  
  
7. From.... to.... . If you use since, you don't need to add since 1950 ~~to 2005~~ ----> this.
Hi Ainun  
Let me give correction for your writing  
  
- It is much better if you attach the picture of your data  
  
population is keep increase throughout the year (double verb)  
  
Japan experienced a gradual~~ly~~ increase for fifty years  
  
... Japan's inhabitant decreased slightly until 2015  
  
experienced an upward trend and ...  
  
There was an increase ~~of~~ about 21% at the time.  
  
number of elderly people only projected about 10%  
  
NB : Mostly writing task I use past, so pay attention on it  
  
Best Regard
Dear ainunazwaria, here some advices for your writing and feel free to correct me too!  
  
... the table compare**s** the information about ...  
  
... Japan experience a gradual~~ly~~ increase for fifty years~~, since 1950 to 2005~~ .  
  
... resident's increasing number ~~seen~~ from 1950 until 2005 ~~There was an increase of about~~**at** 21%**.**~~at the time.~~  
  
Regards
hai, here are my opinions for your essay  
  
***First of all, you need to put the question and the chart. because of it necessary for us to check your report from picture that is given.***  
  
... information about the number of ~~inhabitant~~**inhabitantS** in Japan during a century\  
  
... the sum of Japan's population ~~is keep~~ increase throughout the years until 2005 *(double verb)*  
  
*While*(no need comma) the reverse condition ~~occured~~**occured** after 2005, ~~where~~ the quantity of Japan's ...  
  
GOODLUCK
**The chart below shows the amount spent on six consumer goods in 4 European countries. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.**  
  
The graph illustrates the differences in spending amount of 6 consumer items categorized into 4 European countries namely Germany, Italy, France, and Britain. It is noticeable that the consumption of each good in Britain plays the largest parts.  
  
To take a closer look, the money spent on personal stereos, tennis racquets and perfumes are relatively less than this of the rest. While France pay least in these goods, Britain maintain its leading position and reach its peak at 160 thousand pounds in perfumes.  
  
The spend on CDs, toys and photographic film is much higher in France and Britain. These two lead in CDs with the spending amount at approximately 158 and 160 thousand pounds respectively. Meanwhile, Italy and France pay the same money on toys at around 158 thousand pounds. The most excessive figures are the British spending amount on toys and photographic film with around 168 and above 170 thousand pounds.  
  
(152 words)  
  
*
hai hathu  
It is a good essay  
I have little corrections for you  
hope it helps  
  
... the differences in ~~spending amount~~the expenditure of 6 consumer items (...) countries ~~namely~~consists of Germany, Italy, ...  
  
... the consumption of ~~each~~ goods in Britain plays ...  
  
While France pays least in these goods, Britain maintainsit is leading position and reach ~~its~~a peak at 160 ...  
  
thanks  
keep writing
The bar and line charts give information about the amount of money spent on fast foods by different revenue in United Kingdom and the trends of junk foods consumption during five period. Overall, with the exception of fish and chips, the high income had more spent their money on fast foods than other earning groups. In this case, while pizza showed decreasing trend, the opposite witnessed in the remaining figures.  
  
According to the bar chart, high income earners spent around 40% (per person and per week) on hamburgers and making them superior than other categories, showing at around 30% for average income and almost 15% for low income earners. This was followed by pizza consumption, still showing its domination to other earning groups. On the other hand, 25% middle income receivers spent more money for fish and chips consumption, while other earning categories had the same rates for this trend at around 15%.  
  
Based on the line graph, in 1970, pizza was almost three times more popular than other fast foods and at that time, hamburgers were the least rates fast foods at 300. This was followed by fish and chips showing its rate at just under a hundred, while a small proportion was often seen in the figure for hamburger. However, after the 20-year period, a gradual decrease by 100 saw in pizza. This was in marked contrast to the remaining figure showing an increase, with a significant growth shown by fish and chips, making it by far the favorite one at the end of the period.  
  
* 
*
Hai, here are my suggestions for your essay  
  
The bar and line ~~charts~~**chart** give information about (...) revenue in **the** United Kingdom and (...) during five ~~period~~**periods**.  
  
... pizza showed **a**decreasing trend, the ...  
  
........ making them superior ~~than~~**to** other categories, (...) average income **group** and almost 15% ~~for~~**of** low income earners.  
  
*you are good in writing  
good luck*
**Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.**  
  
Children can learn to be a good member of community from their parents. Some people trust that school is a good place to gain knowledge to behave. I think both school and parents are the best source to learn attitude.  
  
Almost all side of children's life, there are parents who have responsibility. It includes that parents should teach their children about attitudes as a supplier that supports children to be a good member of society. It is caused by position of parents as the first educator for children. Parents are the first persons who children meet in their life. Many things or kinds of behaviour, children get from their mother and father than anyone. For example, parents teach their daughter and son thank to somebody who has given them pleasant gift or anything they need. Parents also teach their heredities to share their food to their friends, and take apologize after doing something wrong. These attitudes mostly get from family's lead, especially both mother and father.  
  
Besides, school also important source to gain knowledge to be a good community persons. Because children school can meet many people there. They can apply what have they been learned from home. School tends to the place to learn and to practice. Nevertheless, they also can get new knowledge from their teacher, which their teacher plays a role as their second parents. For example, a son shares their which their red candy to their friend, but their friend just wants the blue candy. Then, they fight each other. The teacher will come to separate them, and give some advices. From that case, both children can learn how to understand each other and do not fight about that problem. They get another lesson in school.  
  
To sum up, it is important for parents to teach their children good attitudes. Afterwards, children can practice their good behaviour in school when they meet many friends, not only to practice, but also to gain any knowledge about behaviour from their teacher as their second parents. 335w
**INTRODUCTION**  
  
Overall it is a very short and simple introduction while you only paraphrased the question then wrote your opinion. Y*es, it addressed the task response* although you should learn more about paraphrasing and how to build a paragraph well. poor cohesion in this paragraph, indeed you can use cohesive device just like in the question to keep the flow per sentence in your writing.  
  
**BODY PARAGRAPH**  
BODY 1: *I can catch your idea here, from the main idea till the explanation it is quite well developed. However, your example and sentences after that are not strong and relevant enough to emphasize or to wholly build your main idea. You may need to give example about what essential or mostly parents teach about attitude to their children, and then explain how this affect children or how this nurture become ever lasting or be the character of children in the future.*  
  
BODY 2: *overall, it is good but you still need to emphasize from your simple example that how this will affect children attitude or personal behavior in the future as a member of society.*  
  
**CONCLUSION**  
Overall, this is brief and effective as you just mention again your main ideas or thesis statement here. To strengthen your answer on the question prompt, better to restate your position or opinion.  
  
**Good Luck**  
*NB: please pay more attention in your word chosen, some are inappropriately used. Need to concern about the right collocation of noun or verb you wrote down.*
***The chart and table below give information about population figures in Japan.***  
  
The given table and chart show Japan's inhabitant of elderly people in over a century measured by millions. Overall, it can be seen that population of Japan increase from 1950 until this time at 2015. The forecast showed that Japan's resident will be significantly plummeting until the end of period.  
  
To begin, proportion of Japan's habitant stood at 84.1 million in 1950 that elder people over 65 was 4.9% (4.1 million) from the total of population. In 2005, the proportion of ageing people increase over fivefold from early period at 25.7 million, it was 20% of 127.8 million Japan's inhabitant. After 20-year period, the proportion of occupant enormously booms until reach a peak in 2015 (127.8 million).  
  
The prediction in the future the population will be dramatically dropping into 110% and 89.9% in 2035 and 2055 respectively; in contrast with proportion of people over 65s will be sequential as at 37.2 million (34%) and 36.5 million (41%) in 2035 and 2055.  
  
**(161 words)**
Hello Washisa!  
Allow me to give you some suggestion!  
  
... population of Japan increase **from 1950 until this time at 2015**.  
Be careful in using word "this time" you write this in 2016, so I think it will better if you do not write it.  
  
... Japan's resident ~~will be~~ plummed significantly ~~plummeting~~ until the end of period.  
  
... people over 65 was 4.9% by 4.1 million from the total of population.  
... of ageing people *increased* over fivefold from ...  
... until reach a peak in 2015 by 127.8 million.  
  
For next task, it will better if you upload the pict so It will easy for people who want reveiw your task :)  
  
Break a leg!
***The pie charts below show the average household expenditures in a country in 1950 and 2010.  
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.***  
  
The provided pie charts illustrate the comparison of expenses in goods and services in the country over six decades. As it observed from the data, the most money spent on housing in 1950, whereas in 2010 there we some significant differences of all the selected categories.  
  
92.1% of Housing was the largest proportion of expenditure in 1950, but by 2010 it decreased dramatically to 22.0%. The second expenditure by people in 1950 was food with 11.2%, however in 2010 money spent on food was rocketed as the highest expenditures of the household categories. In the term of other purposes experienced dramatic increase from 4.4% to 19.0% over the period.  
  
There was no notable improvement in health care and education sectors. Over sixty-year period the expenditure in transportation inclined 2.1 per cent, and education declined 0.3 per cent. The last but not least, transportation was the other sector that showed that significant increase about 10.4 per cent than its percentage in 1950.  
  
*
Hello Chacaaa!  
Allow me to give you some suggestion :)  
  
As it **was** observed from the data... (You can use: place to live, sheltering, residence) in 1950, whereas in 2010 there ~~we~~ were some ...  
  
92.1% of Housing was the largest proportion ...  
**The largest proportion of expenditure in 1950 was Housing by 92.1% but it decreased dramatically to 22.0% in 2010.**  
  
Be careful with appropriate conjunction.  
Break a leg :)
***The chart below shows the amount of money per week spent on fast foods in Britain. The graph shows the trends in consumption of fast foods.***  
  
The presented data illustrates Britain money spend on fast food and the consumption of three kinds of fast food over two decades. It is clearly seen that high income people spend more money in fast food than two other income groups; Furthermore pizza was the only fast food showed an enormous decrease.  
  
Based on the bar chart, 40 per cent per person of high income people spent their money on hamburger than two other fast foods which did not reach 20 per cent. People of average income also enjoyed hamburger with 32 per cent/person, followed by fish and chips 25 per cent and pizza nearly 13 per cent. The last, low income group was the lowest consumers of fast food, pizza was only 7 per cent per person in a week while hamburger was 16 per cent and fish and chips was 2 per cent lower than hamburger.  
  
On the other hand, line graph presented UK consumption of fast food from 1970 to 1990. It showed that hamburger, fish, and chips rocketed significantly which in 1970 they were consumed no more than 100 grams, but by 1990 hamburger reached 500 grams and fish and chips were nearly 290 grams. In contrast, pizza was the most favourable fast food in 1970 with 300 grams, however over twenty years it had dip slightly about 100 grams by the end of 1990.  
  
*
Hi Cachaaaaaaaa,  
  
The notes:  
  
... kinds of fast food over two ---->It's only two decades, no more. You can change with "during"  
  
high income people spend more money in ...----> You should use verb 2 in overview if it's already happened.  
  
by fish and chips 25 per cent and pizza nearly 13 per cent. ---> are you sure with the measurement? and you are not mention it at opening sentence.  
  
Adverb + adjective  
  
rocketed significantly which in 1970 they ...  
twenty years it had dip slightly about 100 grams ...  
  
Keep writing!
Hi cacha. Here are my suggestions toward your essay.  
  
... Furthermore pizza was the only fast food showed an enormous decrease.  
I think it is inappropriate to tell that pizza has sown an enormous decrease on it. Gradual decrease is appropriate one.  
  
per person in a week while hamburger was 16 per cent ...  
you inverted the hamburger and fish & chips data.  
  
Overall, your explanation in your second body paragraph is well-explained.  
  
Here are corrections toward your grammatical structure:  
  
1970 with 300 grams~~,~~(.) however(,) over twenty years ...  
  
I hope it can be useful for you.  
Goodluck!