dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
The summary is not as accurate as it could be. Some incorrect information was provided that reduced the authority of the report. The reference to "one charity" should have been directed towards a "childrens charity" instead. Such information oversight will reflect in the accuracy considerations of the report. It shows that the writer did not compare the provided data with his interpretation. The number of images in relation to the discussion were also not provided. Proper image comparison references are messing. Definite scoredowns will take place.  
  
Use of advanced vocabulary will be noted. However, the advanced language used is more in line with specific fields rather than relevant day to day usage. It will minimally help the score as the writer does not use the term within the nature of the text. Keep it simple next time. Focus on presentation clarity instead. Something that is lacking in several instances of this report.
***Q: Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would be benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole***  
  
## Do you agree or disagree?

  
  
My e:  
Some people believe that requiring teenagers to help the regional community in their spare time but without salaries can bring back advantages to both adolescence and society. This essay agrees with this standpoint.  
  
Learning new knowledge is the first benefit that teenagers can achieve. To be more specific, instead of spending a lot of time playing games or watching movies, youth could study more about life in the local state. In this case, they would know the issues around them and how to solve them correctly. For instance, they can learn to plant trees, paint the wall and sweep the street. In addition, teenagers can make relationships with many new friends. Specifically, they would know how to communicate with others and become more confident.  
  
Furthermore, neighborhoods can save a lot of money in hiring workers to keep the public clean. Instead of that, they can use adolescence as volunteers to do the lightweight jobs. Thanks to the help of teenagers, society can still improve but not waste a large amount of funding. And the money that was not used can spend on children and youth development or enhance the quality of living in the local community. Hence, society could be better if more and more teenagers participated in this kind of activity.  
  
In conclusion, this is a good practice requiring adolescence to improve their local area without money. From my perspective, I agree with it because youth can enhance their knowledge and regional state can save more money and spend it on children's development or residents' life.
The phrase "regional community" is too wide a synonym for "local community ". A region covers a vast area of a city or state. The original reference is smaller, more like a "town". Remember that alternative word usage accuracy is a major scoring consideration. Where the alternate reference is incorrect, expect LR deductions to be applied.  
  
Review the discussion question. It asks the question: Do YOU agree or disagree? YOU. Seeing as the essay is not writing itself, it cannot be referred to as the writer of the paper. An essay does not have an opinion until the writer states his own perspective. It is this first person idea that must be represented in the opinion response so, indicate that. Take ownership of the response by addressing the "you" question with "I". Thus meeting the question response format correctly in terms of perspectives. Do not forget to outline the reasoning summary to support it. Truth be told, the current summary conclusion would have been the perfect response for this section.  
  
All things considered though, the reasoning paragraphs work to the benefit of the scoring needs of the exam taker. The explanations are solid and shows how well the writer can discuss the topic in a quick and related manner. That should help offset the exsisting errors in the other sections.
## fish and meat consumption

  
  
**The graph below shows the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004.  
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.**  
  
The line graph represent the how many people spend the money on 4 different kind of meat in a European country over a period of 25 years.  
  
It is clear that the chicken meat of spending was increased and it had highest figure by 2004, while beef was dramatically fall, it just about over 100 per person a week.  
  
By 1979, the number of chicken started to rising, the number overtake the lamb and beef in about 10 years, and rise from around 150 to just under 250 per person per week between 1979 and 2004. In contrast, the figures of beef and lamb was noticeable decreasing about under 150 and 100 per person per week between 1979 and 2004.  
  
While, the fish meat were the lowest number, and it were the most stable figure in the graph, around 50 per person per week in this period of 25 years.  
  
*
The instruction is to have the writer produce at least 150 words. He was not instructed to write exactly 150 words. Producing only 150 words for the total text is a scoring disservice. The writer does not fully analyze and report on the given data. He is just presenting the given data without other considerations. Maximum scoring benefits are not achieved with that member. The best scores are achieved between 175-200 words.  
  
Rushing to meet the minimum requirement, while sacrificing sentence clarity and information completeness affects the coherence of the essay presentation. It affects the cohesiveness of the paragraphs. The writer created an essay that falls short of reporting and analysis expectations for the report. It will be a stretch for this essay to achieve even a base passing score.  
  
The potential of the writer to pass the test is there. However, the writer can only improve his score if he tries to excel more in terms of analysis and reporting. Deliver a more accurate task 1 essay.
## coffee export analysis

  
  
The given chart provides information on how much coffee was exported from 3 mentioned countries: Brazil, Colombia and Costa Rica from 2002 to 2012.  
Overall, there was an increase in the amount of coffee exported in all nations examined with the figure for Brazil being the highest number.  
The output of exported coffee in Brazail started at around 14millions, after which it saw a dramatic rise to 20 millions in 2008. By contrast, the figures for Colombia and Costa Rica dropped from 5 millions and 15 millions to just over 2.5 millions and 13 millions respectively. In addition, it's clear that the amount of coffee marketed overseas in Colombia in the year 2008 by far the lowest figures throughout the period.  
  
From 2008 to 2012, the quantity of coffee exported from Colombia rose the most significantly compared with that of the other countries, reaching exactly 15 millions at the end of the time frame. The figures for Brazail and Costa Rica saw similar changes, but to a lesser extent, growing to approximately 25 millions and 15 millions respectively.
I am unclear as to what type of image was provided for analysis. I cannot imagine how the measurements are presented and what these measurements are based on. The summary overview is not as effective as it can be in helping the reader draw an effective mental image. Work on using effective image names and additional relevant information in this section to allow for a more helpful and informative summary.  
  
Be aware of the presentation format. The spacing between paragraphs makes this confusing. Is it a 3 or 4 paragraph presentation? If only 1 image is provided then this should be a 3 paragraph essay. Learn to combine the summary and trendin an effective manner to fit this need.  
  
There are instances of unclear sentences in the paragraphs. The writer does his best to avoid this but his lack of control over word usage and punctuation marks get in his way. He must improve these 2 grammar problems to avoid deductions in this scoring section.
## What are the main reasons of immigration? To what consequences can it lead?

  
***Write at least 250 word***  
  
In this day and age, along with the advancement of transportation, it is observed that there is an increasing rate of immigration, causing vital changes in society. This tendency could be attributed to several factors, and it could gravely affect the nation in different ways.  
  
On one hand, there are two main contributors to the decision to move to a new environment of immigrants. First of all, the image of cities and metropolises is likely to be sugar-coated in the eyes of people from rural or under-improved areas, promising to provide a wide range of well-paid jobs as well as a modern, convenient life full of entertainment and self-pleasure. Unable to resist the temptation, many chose to leave their hometown to seek a life-changing opportunity in those promised lands. Another noticeable motive behind this trend is wars and conflicts, which have plagued the lives of people in their motherland, threatening their lives and forcing them to search for help in foreign countries. Being placed in such a life-endangering situation, those people have no choice but to immigrate to other nations.  
  
On the other hand, the sudden flow of immigrants could pose some great threats to society. The first noticeable severe impact is the lack of a labor force in the countryside, which is the result of young and middle-aged people, the main group of available workers, shifting to urban areas in search of job opportunities. This leads to the circumstance in which it's extremely difficult for the rural areas to improve and evolve to the same extent as cities. Furthermore, a large number of immigrants could cause overpopulation in some areas, nay, leading to a ripple effect and harming society with a slew of negative consequences related to this issue, such as the housing crisis, increasing competition in the job market, and an increase in crime rates.  
  
In conclusion, governments should focus on the causes of immigration, which include the desire for better work prospects, wars, and conflicts, to deal with the harmful outcomes of it, consisting of the underdevelopment of rural areas and concerns related to overpopulation.
The prompt restatement is ill effective for a number of reasons. The first, is that is deviates to a totally unrelated topic prior to the actual restatement. The restatement should only be one to two sentences long and should not include information about unrelated discussions (not included in the original discussion). The second, is that the writer's opinion is not clearly stated in the presentation. Rather than stating the reasons for migration, he just repeated what the discussion will be about. This does not establish a discussion platform for the succeeding paragraphs and does not meet the task accuracy requirement regarding opinion clarity within the introduction paragraph. In other words, the first paragraph is an epic fail and will cost the essay precious score deductions that could have been used to pass the test instead.  
  
One cannot compare the reasons for migration with its results. Those are different topics that emanate from different discussion points. The writer has incorrectly used the transition phrases "On the one/other hand" in this case, which will result in GRA deductions as he shows a lack of proper sentence formation using the correct transition phrases.  
  
These reasons alone are enough for me to safely say that the writer will not pass the test. He cannot pass when he does not know how to properly format his responses in a manner suitable to the prompt.
## co2 emissions 1967-2007

  
  
The line graph illustrates the amount of average carbon dioxide emitted by each person in four European countries from 1967 to 2007.  
Overall , there was an increase in the amount of carbon dioxide released on average in Italy and Portugal , while the figure for the UK and Sweden decreased . In addition , the UK had the highest average carbon dioxide emission during the period .  
  
Between 1967 and 2007 , The UK saw a gradual decline from 10,7 tonnes to exactly 9 tonnes. Similarly , there was a growth in the amount of CO2 , from 9 tonnes in 1967 to 10 tonnes in 1977 . Over the following 30 years, the amount of CO2 in Sweden dropped dramatically from 10 tonnes to only 5,7 tonnes.  
  
However, the amount of CO2 released in Italy and Portugal increased significantly . The figures for Italy and Sweden were on average around 4 tonnes over the period shown.
The summary and succeeding paragraphs could use more detail and less cluttered presentation. A sentence requires that a single idea be presented in one line, rather than several in a single line. Every line should connect one sentence to the next. There is no sentence in existence that contains several ideas in one presentation. That is unacceptable and is scored down as a run-on sentence. A GRA writing violation. There is a reason each paragraph is allowed up to 5 sentences. That is the exact number of lines per paragraph that will allow for clear and understandable thought presentations. Utilize that number for proper scoring considerations. Also, do not forget to indicate the measurement type as a part of the summary as that is an integral part of the discussion highlight / basis.
## salary in professional sport

  
  
Write about:  
1.The entertainement they provide  
2.How hard they work  
3.(your own idea)  
  
As someone that have never worked, i can still give you my own idea on this theme.  
  
Sports are one of the things that almost everyone have seen even once in their lifes. Therefore people from all over the world become interested in sports stars's life. However many people says that athlets are payed too much.  
  
On one hand, they train all their lifes to compete in sports and earn money with it. If they have come to be known as 'the' footballer or 'the' basketball player, and not 'a', it is certainly becouse of their talent, for the passion for that sport and for all the training that they constantly do.  
  
On the other hand, they don't do that much more than teachers or doctors that have more important responsibilities but, still, payed less. Those ones have studied surely more than a footballer that have trained all his life to achieve something more for his own passion.  
  
In my opinion sport stars are payed too much, it's okay to be payed for all the work that they do, but sometimes they really earn too much money.
The first thing I have to do is call the attention of the writer to the almost unlimited spelling errors in this essay. Had the author bothered to use spellcheck or the autocorrect feature of the keyboard, he would have seen the incorrect spelling within the essay. Evidence of a lack of content review prior to submission. These errors would be more than enough to fail half the test. some incorrect spelling include:  
  
Payed= Paid  
Becouse= Because  
  
Not all English words are spelled as heard. That is how unlearned English writers are caught. Only kindergarten English native speaking students who are learning how to read and write get a pass for such mistakes.  
  
Time referencing in relation to tense usage is also a problem here. There is a consistent mismatching of situational references. Is it past or present? Same for singular V. plural rules. One cannot use a plural form then switch to singular mid-sentence. Numerical references must be uniform throughout. There are actually more problems to deal with but it won't be possible to do so in a single thread.  
  
I am focusing on the sentence structure rather than the content at this time because the accuracy of the response is not as big a problem as the lack of proper grammar and sentence presentation. These are the immediate score reducing problems that need to be improved upon as an ESL student
## spreads consumed in an European country

  
  
The given line graph depicts the consumption of spreads, in grams, over the course of 26 years, starting from 1981.  
  
Overall, the quantity of butter and margarine suffered significant decreases throughout the period while the amount of low fat and reduced spreads consumed experienced an upward trend. Another interesting point here is that before 1996, people just put margarine or butter in their bread.  
  
Looking at the graph in more detail, it can be seen that in 1981, the amount of margarine and butter consumed were around 90 grams and up to 140 grams, respectively. There was a growth in butter consumption. It rose to approximately 160 grams in 1986 before plugging to about 70 grams a decade later. The quantity then continued to decline and reached the low-point at around 50 grams at the end of the period. In the meantime, the 1981-1991 period witnessed a fluctuation in the amount of margarine consumed. The consumption remained stable at 100 grams until 1996 before falling drastically to 40 grams in 2007, becoming the least popular type of spreads in this year.  
  
People started using low fat and reduced spreads in 1996, at around 10 grams. The consumption of this kind of spreads underwent a rapid surge to more than 80 grams in 2001 (as popular as margarine in this year). Then it declined to around 70 grams in 2007, taking the first place in consumption compared to the two other kinds of spreads.
The presentation is overwritten. Timed writing will show that 243 words cannot be completed within 20 minutes The writer turned the writing into a vocabulary exercise. Most of the writing lost objectivity because the writer included personal opinions and assumptions. These are 2 reflections that should never be found in a task 1 essay since it is an analytical report based on pre-supplied data.  
  
A task 1 essay has a different set of writing requirements from a task 2 essay. The biggest difference? A task 1 essay should only be between 150-200 words. That is the achievable number for the 20 minute time allowance. The essay should be less wordy next time. Keep it short and factual.
***The spread of multinational companies and the increase of globalization produces positive effects for everyone.***  
## To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

  
  
For the time being, the widespread of multinational organizations along with the expansion in term of globalisation seems to bring about positive impact for every citizens. In my own perspective , I partly agree with this idea for these following reasons.  
  
To begin with, it is believed that the development of multinational firms provides valuable employment prospects for individuals, especially for people who are in underprivileged countries. Big companies tend to employ the local labour to work in their entreprises as they just need to pay local worker a small amount of money compared to a huge profit they earn. Another reason is that, thanks to the extensiveness of multinational foundation as well as globalisation, there is an advantageous impact impact on investment and also commerce sector that relates to the economy of one nation. It is obviously seen that if investment increases with a rapid speed, it will profit many other aspects of economy like tourism, for instance. Last but not least, it is now more feasible to gain new knowledge about cultures from other countries due to the consequence of globalisation. As globalisation is now a debated situation, there is also a mixed culture that exists in one country, for example Singapore.  
  
On the other hand, there are also some demerits about globalisation and prevalence of international firms. First of all, there could be some disapperance of micro-entreprises in some nations due to the stiff competition of multinational entreprises. Many small companies are forced to close down as they can not compete with their huge competitors in their own domestic market. Moreover, based on the financial investment in one particular country, international firms now aim to monopolize the market place not only in the global scale but also the domestic one , which belongs to the nation they invest money on.  
  
In conclusion, many benefits could be brought due to the rapid expansion of globalized world and increasing development of multinational firms. However, there are still some drawbacks besides the benefits they bring.
The restatement is not as effective as it could have been. The writer basically altered the presentation word for word, or sometimes, without changing a word, leading to a problematic presentation. It is more of a transliteration rather than an appropriate restating of the topic based upon the author's understanding of it. The extent response is incomplete as the extent topics coverage is not present as establishing factors.  
  
The writer takes great pride in presenting his knowledge regarding the topic and its background. Sadly, the conversation did not go beyond that. A failure to cohesively discuss, via connected subjects, the reasons provided prevented this from happening. Next time, focus less on the number of reasons and more on how the topics inter-relate in the paragraph.  
  
The concluding summary will guarantee a failing score as the topic suddenly became altered. It went from an extent consideration to an advantage /disadvantage discussion. That unexpected change will result in an irrelevant summary conclusion and failing score.
## People recognize a difference between children and adults

  
  
Generally, based on the qualification of healthy issue we can classify people on the adults or children period due to their age. For 18+ years old, in my country Indonesia, they can be called as an early of adult because they enter a college life and live separately from their parents. For less than 18 years old, people still call them children because they are still on the senior high school. In my opinion, there are two phases where the person could be called as adult one than the child one. The reasons I will explain below.  
  
First of all, adult man is a person who can survive and live on their way of life. They solve the problem and give themselve to be free from the parent's regulation much. One phase can adult man begin is when moving to another city to begin new life such a new phase for education process outside of their hometown. For example, I moved to Yogyakarta to have my bachelor degree when I was 19 years old. I like to become independent because I need to cook, wash my clothes, and study with the teacher was also myself. I can conquer to the probelm in this era with the revolution of mind thinking because I have never been before and I need to survive to reach my dreams. This phase created me to become wise and generous person.  
  
Second of all, marriage is the higher level of adults decision in their life. They will strive to commit in one's life. If he is a man, he need to tackle responsibilities of his wife and children, meanwhile he also has to work to fund his family. Meanwhile, if she is a woman, she wil become a mother who nurtures her childrens from early at dawn to the late of night, from school to home. She also will cook and serve the better place at home everyday for her family. They must work together between outside job and inner world of their basic life such as entertainment, hobby, education, and etc.  
  
To sum up, there are two phases that man could have in conducting adults period, the first education and the second is in the marriage life. They will strive to commit and solve any problems to survive in their life as responsibilities in having a meaning of life.