dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
The central bank of Indonesia officially released regarding the office of the financial breakthrough technology on November, 14th. This office as advisory central for plenty of (fintech) financial technology firms in Indonesia has played an enormously role in economic issue in Indonesia. The reason is perfectly plain that this innovation are used to develop industry for more expanding and making sure better financial inclusion since the fact that almost half the Indonesia inhabitants had a lack of knowledge about financial literature. Surprisingly, there have been 120 companies driving financial companies with a vast range of segments such as e-wallet, financial settlements and crowdfunding platforms.
Nina, you should have also mentioned that the Central Bank is involved in the planning and overseeing of the fintech companies because more than half the population of Indonesia doesn't have access to banks. That is one of the main reasons as to why the fintech was developed by the government and central bank. Adding that the same system has been successfully launched in Singapore and the UK, as indicated in the report would have also added to the idea that you analyzed the article for important keywords and information that could help the reader gain a sort of confidence in the technology being launched in their own country. As it is, the information in you present is informative, but missed some extra important points in the summary presentation.
The article from Jakarta post reveals the information about Ahok named suspect in blasphemy case. As we know that for the last few weeks Basuki Tjahaja Purnama, usually called 'Ahok', made a comment about Al-Quran verse when he visited Thousand Islands Regency to speech in late September. Regarding to his controversial speech, over 10,000 people which mostly come from several Muslim groups held a protest at Bundaran HI Jakarta to prosecute Ahok in the blasphemy case. On Tuesday, National Police's Criminal Investigation Department (Bareskrim) had probed evidence from dozen witnesses during ten-hour case screening and previously, several Muslim figures had cited law enforces of protecting the governor, Ahok. Regarding to the outcome of Tuesday investigation, the National Police have named Jakarta Governor, Ahok, a suspect in that blasphemy case and banned Ahok from traveling overseas. Meanwhile, Ahok tells his supporter to accept police decision.  
  
thejakartapost
Nda, this is not a bad summary of the original article. You have covered most of the important points and presented valid evidence. However, there is some lack of clarity in your statements. For example, Ahok did not just make statements, he made "congroversial statements" which led to the protest and blasphemy charges. The word "controversial" is important because it explains the reason why he was investigated by the police and protested by the people. Without the descriptive word to emphasize his actions, the reason for the investigation and protest is not clear. In addition, you should have added the part about the police indicating that he will have a public trial as that explains what kind of justice system he will be facing for his actions. The rest of the essay is acceptable in its current form.
**TED Summary : Grit : the power of passion and perseverance | Angela Lee Duckworth**  
  
The most demanding job in Angela period was teaching the children in the school. When Angela taught 7 grade a mathematic in New York City Public School, she made quiz, test, homework and assingment every day. She found that iq was not only different between the best and worst student. Some of the strongest performance student did not have better iq score than others. She believed that one of her student could learn the material of study. If they focus on study a subject, they can reach their dream. After taught 7 years in school, she got that what we needed in education which was understanding well between student and learning the subject. Moreover, She left the school and started to be psychologist. She found many information about kids and adults from all any kinds of superchallenging settings. After that, she and her team asked about several question related to ability of people from kids and adults. In conclusion, she discovered grit was the answer of the problem. Grit was about the passion and perseverance to be better person.
Andika, while I will give you an allowance for misspelling words due to the fact that you were writing under time constraint, please be reminded that word misspellings in an actual test will result in a lower score as points will be deducted accordingly in the final band score. I am unclear as to who Angela is because your sentence development was unclear. I am not sure what you mean by "Angela period". I know that Angela is the topic of the article, but how did she become a period in school? Since that would have been your topic sentence in an actual test format, you will have immediately failed the test as you did not properly represent the topic sentence from the original source. Since you would not have scored well due to the problem with the topic sentence and the spelling mistakes, I would like to give you a chance to repeat this essay. This time, pay attention to your spelling and properly develop your topic sentence in order to gain a better score. I know you can do it. You just need to concentrate this time around.
hai dika  
I think it is a good summary  
I have advice for you  
hope it works  
  
The most demanding job in Angela ~~period~~ was teaching ...  
  
When Angela was taught 7 grade (...), she made the quiz, test, homework and ~~assingment~~assignment every day.  
  
She found that ~~iq~~it was not only (...) and the worst student.  
  
... not have better ~~iq~~IQ score than others.  
  
... one of her students could learn ...  
  
If they focus on the study a subject, ...  
  
After ~~taught~~studied 7 years in school, ...  
  
... and started to be a psychologist. She found ~~many~~much information <<< uncountable word  
  
about ~~kids~~children and adults from all any kinds of ~~superchallenging~~super challenging settings.  
  
After that, ~~she and~~ her team asked about several questions related to the ability of people ...  
  
... grit was the answer ~~of~~in the problem.  
... perseverance to be a better person.  
  
thanks
**Beagle Mars probe probably didn't crash, new analysis shows**  
  
After Beagle airplane arrived at Mars in 2003, the scientist did not receive any updated information, therefore they predicted it had damaged. However, after nearly a decade. They successfully detected its operation there, then started the project immediately. In this experiment, they applied the new method which hopefully results in the fascinating outcome, it is called reflection analysis. Furthermore, The solar panels are not only employed to fuel the airlines but also to measure the proportion of sunlight can be absorbed. In addition, after the airline has successfully landed on Mars, it has proved that NASA is the only one space agency which is capable of executing it.  
  
Source:  
newscientist
Aloha, here is my thought;  
  
(1) [...] any updated ~~information, therefore~~information; therefore, // information. Therefore,("therefore" is adverb, so you cannot make it as connector) they predicted it had damaged.  
  
(2) ~~However, after nearly a decade.~~(you miss verb on this sentence; probably, you'd better use comma after decade to connect the next sentence)  
(3) They successfully detected **its operation**(tell me about "its" referred to?) there, [...]  
(4) [...] outcome, ~~it is called~~which is called//called reflection analysis.  
  
OVERALL, I FIND YOUR SUMMARY NEEDS TO BE IMPROVED BECAUSE I DO NOT FULLY UNDERSTAND WHAT THE MAIN TOPIC ON YOUR SUMMARY. THEN, YOU CAN USE LINKING WORDS WHICH IS SUITABLE WITH YOUR MEANING.
Alfin, there is a grave error in the summary that you wrote. You are not allowed to present a personal opinion when summarizing this article / video as you are only required to present the immediate and important information that you gained from the original source. Therefore, your summary essay will lose points for not following directions. I wish that you had presented the url of the original article / video for our reference here. It is important that we learn the actual information you were provided with in order for us to properly assess your work. Right now, the work is coming across as sloppy and uninformative because there is a lack of foundation or background reference based on the original. Had you made some reference to the other important elements from the source, we may have at least, been able to follow the flow of information that is required in the essay. It's not too late for you to present the address of the source. We can still review your essay in a better form if you do that.
Based on data, 30 percent of men higher than woman to drop out from school. For example: in Canada, ~~each~~ 5 boys drop out in school (every year) while only whereas just 3 girls do ~~drop out from school~~ .  
  
(what is the relationship between drop out from school and watching porn video?) Young man can spend his time ...  
(and what do woman do after dropped out from school, do they same activity as man?  
  
please to attach your video link, it helps us to watch the original video
The young range is the most difficult stage of their life which changed from the elusive pink aquatic salamanders that hatched inside Slovenia's Postojna Cave about four months ago. Finally, it can conclude that the only one which known about the civilization is the baby dragons. It can be explained that they life range until 100 years old and the laying process is once or twice a decade, which their life in small community and in contaminated water.  
  
Source : newscientist
Yurike, there are certain errors in your summary. For example, the pink aquatic salamanders do not live in contaminated water. These sea creatures live in the drinking water coming from the Karst area. The summary said the people are protecting the waters because, aside from the pink salamanders living in it, they also get their drinking water there. The report said that the water cannot be contaminated because it would not only pollute the living quarters of the salamanders, but the people would not have any water to drink either.  
  
I know that you are writing these essays under a time constraint but you need to learn that rushing through the essay and then submitting without double checking your information will cost you points in the exam. So you have to learn to time yourself, leaving enough time to double check your information before you hit the submit button. Remember, your information has to be accurate or you will fail the test due to wrong information and a clear misunderstanding of the English language. Your task accuracy will fail.
**What can we learn from shortcuts?**  
  
While, most people argue that shortcut is the best way to reach our destination faster, Tom Hulme as businessman regard that shortcut is changed human behavior to be more indiscipline, because of that he wants everyone to realize that shortcut has a strong relationship with a design, and we need to create a unique feature to live disciplinarily.  
  
Taking London as an example, there is a tiny road in the middle of the public garden. In order to arrive faster, young children pass the road and leave the path which was designed by the government. That activity results to a crucial problem which is destroying the land. The solution government provides is to plant a big tree as an obstacle for people across the street. It aims to support them to walk on provided path. Another fascinating example is policy taken by the University of California, all buyers should be mobile around campus, it prevents students to make shortcut when they have known the exact place.  
  
Source: youtube
hi abrahamlincoln, these are my thought towards your summary  
  
... regard that shortcut ~~is~~ change~~d~~s human behavior to ...  
..and we need to create an unique feature to live **disciplinarily**.,,  
[ i think 'disciplinarily' is not an adverb for 'discipline' ]  
...That activity results ~~to~~in a crucial problem ...  
...The solution that government provides ...  
  
thank you and good luck
HI brother, let me give several advice, perhaps useful for you.  
1. ... to reach our destination ~~faster,[/s~~ --->More fast  
2. ... to be more indiscipline.(give dot to stop the sentence). Because of that, ( put comma) he wants everyone to realize that shortcut has a strong relationship with a design, ( what the meaning of this sentence?i do not get the point) and we need to ...  
  
3. ..., there is a tiny road in the middle of the public garden----> give more explanation in this sentence, moreover about the tiny road how could it become problem.  
  
good summary and break a leg.
***Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should be always taken into account when deciding on the punishment. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.***  
  
Today's hot issue comes to policy-makers' consideration in punishing criminals. Some argue making penalty should be fixed and indiscriminate. However, others are more likely to against this notion because they believe criminal actions depend on their motivation and consideration; therefore, these factors need to be considered before inflicting punishment to criminals. In my perspective, while the former statement makes sense, the latter one sounds as reasonable as does the first.  
  
Fixed penalty for criminal can help to identify clearly how guilty persons should be punished. Thus, people consciously understand about their punishment when doing something wrong. Taking Philippines as an example, in the recent year, the government implemented dead penalty for distributors of illegal drugs indiscriminately. As a result, during 6 months, thousands of dealers are dead thanks to this regulation. Therefore, the crime rate, automatically, saw a sharp decrease and people got deterrent effect to be criminal.  
  
However, considering criminal's reason and where they live is also crucial matter. This is because every single person has the presumption of innocence. For instance, a young girl hurt a man because probably she wanted to defense herself and unconsciously hurt him. Another example, an old woman stole meal in food stall because probably she, perforce, did it for her living. In these cases, we cannot judge them as criminals who should suffer heavy punishment.  
  
To sum up, I believe although fixed punishment for criminals is a good idea, finding out their motivation and the fact of crime scene should be also thought before deciding a suitable penalty.  
  
**(256 words)**
Needless to say, having an enjoyable holiday is overwhelmingly appealing. However, it is enormously terrifying when we make a plan for this entertainment with such narcissistic personality people. How can we deal with this circumstances?. As such, this article explains just to make them become your friend. Subsequently, playing the contrary role is good notion when you get fruitless twattling. Another way is to trying to make them feel good with interesting question.  
  
health
Imanina, you are supposed to be writing a summary of the article. So why did you not include any of the important information from the article in the summary? There was no data regarding the percentage of people considered narcissistic, nor a breakdown of the 5 ways to deal with such a personality type while on vacation. The article clearly indicates the aforementioned data in both facts and figures, with some witty examples to boot. Why did you pass up on the chance to show the examiner that you know how to summarize an article by simply listing down the important keywords from it? You should have mentioned the information even if you could not provide a description for each. Right now, what you have is an opinion statement, not a summary of an article.
Hi, let me give several suggestions for you. Correct me if i wrong.  
1. you summary too short and insufficient number of essential information for the reader.  
2. You need put an introduction paragraph to brainstorm the reader minds and add more than 1 paragraph to develop your ideas.  
3. you should also gives several supporting sentence and example to make it stronger.  
4.Another way is to ~~trying~~ to make them feel...---> to + V1/ bare infinitive
**TED SUMMARY : english manias**  
  
Ted's video talking about mania especially in English. It can be good, alarming, and also deadly. Chinese children Learning English by screaming it. The largest English speaking countries are China since about 25% graduated based on English. the English language also provides opportunities for better life such as job vacancy and to enter favorite school. Nowadays, English being the global conversation to tackle about the global problem such as climate change, poverty, hunger, and also disease. It is appeared to be true that English can bring hope for better future.
Aloha, here is my thought;  
  
(1) ~~Ted's video talking about mania especially in English. It can be good, ...~~(I think these sentences are unnecessary to mention on your summary)  
(2) ~~Chinese children Learning English [...] 25% graduated based on English.~~the largest country learning English, nowadays, is China where children should be good speaker in English  
(3) ~~the English language~~English also provides (...) life such as ~~job vacancy and to enter favorite school~~obtaining job vacancy and getting higher education .  
(4) Nowadays, English ~~being~~becomes the global conversation to tackle ~~about~~ the global [...]
Hi, let me give several advice for you. Feel free to correct me.  
1.~~Ted's video talking about mania especially in English.~~ ---> it is unnecessary sentence for you introduction sentence.  
2. It can be good, alarming, and also deadly.---> is it the main sentence? blur meaning. i suggest you to add one or two sentences as supporting sentences to make the main sentence clearly.  
  
3.The largest English speaking countries ~~are~~ is China since ...  
4. you need makes your summary more smoothly flow. Because in this summary, in my viewpoint, still lack of coherence one sentence with the others.  
Keep writing and break a leg.
**Speedy bat flies at 160km/h, smashing bird speed record**  
  
Brazilian bat has become the fastest vertebrate animal after reaching of speed nearly 160 Km/h. It disputes the previous finding which revealed that bird fly 112 km/h, which made them faster than a bat. However, the research carried out by McCracken's team believed that they have discovered outcome which people had not heard of. They also argue that their measurement is precise, using the speed device which is usually used for the airplane. It is clear that this result invites many disagreements from other analysists who criticized that there was something wrong on estimating process of speed. The first scholar who has a different tendency is Prof. Graham Taylor, he remarked that this is untrusted information which none should know. However, some analysts regard that bat could fly under 160 km/h because it was helped by gravitation force, impacting to increasing their flying speed. He added that this is very possible because the research object was Brazilian bat which well-known by its ability to travel far away almost 50 km.  
  
Source: newscientist
Lincoln, your article summary should have been presented in three parts, just as the original article was presented.This is because the article discussion was divided into three parts covering the event that happened which is being reported, the assumptions as to how the bats gained so much speed, and then finally, the realization that the scientists had no idea as to why the bats flew that fast. That said, your summary does try to present most of the information in the article. Although, the presentation doesn't really leave the reader as informed as he could be due to way that you seemed to rush through the summary. When writing a summary based on an article that has sub topics in the discussion, make sure that you cover all of the important data presented in the sub topics as well. At this point, this essay informs the reader, but does not clarify the points that he will find himself asking towards the end of your summary report.
-......speed nearly 160 Km/h ON FLYING  
-... revealed that bird fly 112 km/h, ~~which~~ ONCE made them ...  
-... they have discovered AN outcome which people had not heard ~~of.~~ BEFORE  
- .....usually used ~~for~~ ON/FOR MEASURING the airplane.  
- ... other analysists who HAVE criticized that (...) wrong on ~~estimating process of speed.~~ ITS ESTIMATION/CALCULATION/MEASUREMENT  
- ... has a different ~~tendency~~ VIEW/OPINION is Prof. Graham (...) this is untrusted/UNRELIABLE information ....  
- ... that bat could fly **under****IS IT UNDER/AROUND/OR MORE THAN??**160 km/h because it ~~was~~ IS helped by gravitation force, impacting to THE increasing OF ~~their~~ ITS flying speed.  
  
... was Brazilian bat which IS well-known by (...) far away FOR almost 50 km.
Mathematic and science are as main feature in industrial revolution era like now. TIMSS, or Trends in International Mathematics and Science Study, is researching to 9-10-year-olds and 13-14-year-olds from more than 50 countries every four years which to know about the comparison ranking on mathematical and sciencetific knowledge. The result shows students in western Western be left behind in mathematic and science field from their coeval in countries like Singapore and Japan. This is caused by many reason which unapposite in their place.  
  
Firstly, the education in college in western was included in common average and better than many developed countries. Secondly, the correlation of test scores and future economic success that it isn't decide the measurement of success ways. But, the true of affluence is determined from innovative skills, mainly in mathematic and science field, not only by education rank of their school. The government must be evaluate the standart of curriculum collage, especially in mathematic and science and revolutionary the common test in order to tend to be world based of standart test.  
  
Source : newscientist
Yurike, your summary should have been written in a summarized comparison form because the article indicated that there were two tests being discussed as far as relevance in rating the students learning capacity. These exams were the TIMMS and PISA student rankings. The article is actually far longer than the summary that you wrote. It also lacks much of the pertinent information that is contained in the article. The shortcoming of your summary comes from the mistake in the information that you decided to present. The information that you actually have in your essay would have been best presented as the latter or the concluding statement of your summary essay. Had you presented the summary that way, the examiner would have gotten a better idea regarding your ability to do comparisons and understand long, intricate, and data driven articles.
The English language is international tools of communication to another people in the world. As far as world revolutionary, the words in english is evolute too be new words. The making of the new English word only to make more easily in understanding in our brain. The establishment of new English word can be adopted in many ways. Firstly, the stealing of other languages in the world. For the example is from France, Japan, etc. Secondly, the compounding skill is sequishing the more than one word in English together to form new word, such as heartbroken is come from two word that are heart and broke. Another example is bookworm and sandcastle. Thirdly, blend the english word, fourtly the functional shift is which by changing how they operate. The final way is to take the first letter of something and squishing the words together, like OMG and other example of new word.  
  
Source : ted