dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
The indefinite article "a" is used to refer to the singular form of a word. so the word "a" should precede "student" in the first sentence. However, a problem occurred due to the plural forms of certain words presented at the start. Once a reference becomes plural in form, then the indefinite article can no longer be used. In the first sentence, plural references are used for "days and ages" so the indefinite article rule no longer applies. The definite article "the" should then be used along with the plural form "students ". Singular and plural forms should not be combined in a sentence or paragraph.  
  
The student misuses the word" issue " in the presentation. The correct reference, based on the discussion instruction is "experience" , making reference to the events that the student will be involved in based on an advantageous or disadvantageous kind.  
  
The concluding summary is confusing. It must cover 2 seperate thought presentations to bring coherence to the paragraph.
***some people think that the goverment should increase the cost of fuel for cars and other vehicles to solve environmental problems.***  
## Give your opinion (Ielts writing task 2)

  
  
It is unequivocal that human activities have caused myriad negative impacts on our environment. Some people argue that the government should impose higher price on fuel for cars and other vehicles to curb such problems. Although this might be a viable solution, I believe there are other measures which are far more effective.  
  
Granted, the increase in the cost of fuel may bring certain benefits in reversing the damage done to the environment. This is based on the assumption that when policy-makers impose higher taxes on fuel for transportation, the residents may limit their time using private transport such as cars or motorbikes to save fuel and they are likely to divert to using public transport which is much more economical. Such action may lead to lower consumption of fuel among residents, resulting in lower amount of carbon emissions emitted into the environment and hence, the air quality would be improved. However, this line of reasoning is not sound as the amount of carbon emissions from transportation pales in comparison with that from industrial activities. As a result, the effort to increase fuel price for vehicles may yield little impacts on solving environmental problems.  
  
To add further credence to my assertion, there are a number of solutions that policy-makers can take to drain the amount of CO2 emitted from the industrial sector. Chief of these is imposing stricter regulations on the maximum amount of carbon dioxide released annually. Furthermore, hefty fines and suspension of business activities should be adopted for companies breaking the laws. In addition, seeking alternative energy, including solar or wind energy may act as a feasible solution when it comes to alleviating the amount of carbon footprint emitted into the environment. Such greener substitutes not only generate less carbon dioxide compared to fuel energy but also empower the government to establish a sustainable source of energy, eliminating the dependence on carbon-producing energy.  
  
In conclusion, although the increase in the cost of fuel may lead to the reduction in the amount of CO2 to a certain extent, I believe that it would be a more effective target for the government to reduce the amount of carbon dioxide emitted from the industrial domain.
The task 2 essay should be written with up to 300 words only, within 40 minutes. It is an opinion writing task, but not a vocabulary focused essay. While the essay should be focused on a possible academic audience, it should not be turned into an oration either. simplicity is key to actual impressive task 2 writing scores. Exaggerated vocabulary ends up trying to impress the examiner in the wrong way. Every"big" word used must be done so in the proper content or the LR score will be reduced due to improper word usage. This is exactly what happened several times in this presentation. Had the with used simple everyday words to establish his explanation, he would have seen a far better LR scaring credit overall. Keeping it simple, short, and professional is what the examiner expects from the test taker. The presentation is good, but trying too hard to gain favor, which led to forced ethors in the presentation.
## The best way to reduce youth crimes is to educate their parents with parental skills

  
  
It is believed that the optimal way to alleviate youth crimes is to instruct their parents with parental techniques. Although it is true to a certain extent, I believe there is another way which is much better to this issue.  
  
On the one hand, guiding children's parents with parental methods could be feasible to reduce the rate of youth crimes. Because parents may have more impacts on their children than anyone else and therefore children are more likely to obey their parents' advice than others' suggestions. As a result, if parents have a skill in parenting their kids, they could enable kids to abide by them; hence, the proportion of youth crimes could decrease.  
  
On the other hand, this is not the most effective way to deal with this problem because in reality, there are a multitude of children who are mischievous and stubborn. Therefore, they may disobey their parents although they undergo some parental skills. Another approach that is much more practical for reducing youth crimes is that parents could spend more time chatting and communicating with their kids, which might help them gain a deep understanding of their children and boost their relationship. For example, instead of surfing the Internet parents could teach children about their lessons or talk to them about the days. With people knowing each other well and kids feeling laid-back, which, in turn, will make the rate of youth crimes decline.  
  
In conclusion, teaching parents with parental skills is not the optimal solution to curb youth crimes and there is another viable way.
To what extent is that? The word "extent" refers to a degree a certain thing is referred to. Using the term does not deliver the response strength required of the statement response. An actual measurement is required based on an emotional context. The response was rendered incorrect and incomplete without it. The thesis statement does not deliver the expected response format. To what extent is the given statement rendered true? The writer should have used the following response method:  
  
*I believe this statement is true to the extent that (reason). There is another option to consider which is...*  
  
After stating the option, the reasoning paragraphs should provide 2 reasons why the option is correct. A comparison discussion must be avoided in an extent issay since it requires evidence of support for the writer's opinion. This is not ever to be written as a double opinion essay since a singular point of view is sought in the discussion question. Only the second paragraph applies to the present discussion. The presentation is not strong enough for a passing score due to its presentation and discussion shortcomings.
## the proportion of energy production in France

  
  
The pie charts below show the comparison of different kinds of energy production in France in 1995 and 2005.  
The pie charts compare the proportion of energy production in France in the years 1995 and 2005.  
Overall, at the beginning of the period, coal made the highest contribution to the energy production in France, while other sectors made up the smallest part of the chart and 2005 experienced the same trend with coal and other sectors.  
  
Other sector accounted for 4,9% of France's energy production in 1995 and experienced a half increase to 9,10% in 2005. Energy production from nuclear was 6.4% in 1995 and had a slight growth of 3.7% in 2005. At the beginning of the period, gas and coal made up 29,65% and 29,80% of France's energy production respectively, and these figures rose to 30,31% and 30,93% in 2005.  
  
Petro, which comprised almost the highest rate in energy production in France in 1995, suddenly fell to 19,55% in 2005 and came in second in the pie chart of 2005.
[The winter should indicate the image locationon the page if it is actually provided in the report. Since it was indicated as included but not presented, there is nouwa reference inaccuracy in the presentation. For accuracy purposes, mention the number of images but not a page position. The trending explanation is confusing to read because unrelated data for 2 different years are presented in one sentence. That needs to be presented on an individuald sentence basis with direct reference to the trend for the year.  
  
There are punctuation inaccuracies in reference to data presentation. When referring to percentages, decimal points are more commonly used instead of a comma.The writer uses both, which tends to confuse the actual numerical reference. The word is Petrol, not Petto. The author must understand the importance of editing and proof-reading to his score. Leaving related errors affect the LR and GRA scores. Also, a paragraph can only recieve a complete score if it meets the minimum 3 sentence requirement. The last sentence is not going to recieve a good score because it does not meet the requirements for a completely developed paragraph.
***Nowadays, both men and women spend a lot of money on beauty care. This was not so in the past. What may be the root cause of this behavior?***  
  
## Discuss the reasons and possible results.

  
  
Cosmetic industry is worth billions. Unlike the past, most people, irrespective of gender, spend a huge amount of money on beauty products and regard the usage of these elegance care subjects as an aspect of life. From my viewpoint, this is primarily provoked by the desire to garner attention and the increasing urge of following the latest trend.  
  
At first glance, a smart look brings infinite benefits. Charming people are often believed to  
make a strong impression on others, which helps develop intimate relationships and build firm commitment. In addition, good-looking appearance brings many unique career opportunities. For example, such jobs involving tertiary industry as flight attendant, cashiers or travel agents have a tendency to employ attractive women and men.  
  
Another fundamental reason is that people have a desperate craving to keep themself stylish. Owing to the fact that modern life renders people unwilling to accept the obsolescence, they try to imitate celebrities. This imitation would not only affect their clothing and behavior, but definitely have an impact on their natural appearance. People end up buying and using trendy available cosmetics because they are more in the lifestyle of superstars.  
  
Consequently, the overuse of cosmetics has many unwanted results. Some chemical ingredients in foundation and cushion can cause allergy and lead to the growth of acne. Additionally, daily use of beauty creams runs a risk of making the skin thinner and more sensitive. Seriously, mascara can corrupt the coating of tears.  
  
In conclusion, due to aforementioned reasons, I believe that both men and women should take the use of cosmetics under control. At the same time, they had better try using beauty products made from natural materials as well as maintain a healthy lifestyle.
The thesis statement is incomplete. It offers a reason but not a result. So that introduction is not as complete as it could have been. The score could be limited since the data is incompletely presented. The writer need not have mentioned unrelated info like the billion dollar industry. A complete 3 sentence presentation would have been better. Only the following were really needed in the paragraph:  
  
- Topic restatement w/o added information  
- 2 related reasons  
- 2 results related to reasons  
  
Charm is related to the character of a person. It is not related to the beauty industry in the implied physical manner. It is an unrelated topic discussion that does not help increase the score of the paragraph. Use related topics only.  
  
The results do not relate to the reasons. Neither do these relate to one another. There is no clear commonality that indicates a fully developed and topic, reasoning related results discussion. The writer understood the topic and discussion instructions. However, he struggled to find related results towards the end of the presentation. It is a good essay but needs more related discussion development in-the aforementioned section.
## The bar chart shows the percentage of elderly citizens in 3 countries in 1980, 2000, 2030

  
  
The chart illustrates the proportion of the ageing population in the UK, Germany, Canada in 3 different time periods.  
Overall, the number of old citizens in three countries experienced a gradual upward trend over periods of time and it is predicted to continue increasing in the future. Moreover, it is noticeable that the rate of the elderly in Germany dominated the others in the past and expectations show it will still overwhelm.  
  
In detail, the percentage of ageing people in Germany levelled off at 15% in 1980 and grew progressively to a fifth in 2000. Meanwhile, the figures of Canada and the UK stood at 10% and approximately 14% in the chart's first time period and both rose to 15% in the year 2000.  
  
Anticipations reveal that there will be a 5% growth in the percentage of Germany's population aged 65 and over will peak at 25%. whereas the proportion of Canada is forecast to have a significant increase with 7% by 22% and will surpass that of the UK, which will plateau around 19% in 2030.  
  
*
The analytical presentations are to summarized in every paragraph, except for the summary overview and tending presentation paragraph. I realize that there is a 20 minute writing limitation but, the writer is still expected to present a thorough analysis per paragraph. Quick reviews in 2 sentences are run-on presentations. These lack in analysis and comparison development.  
  
Yes, it is the quickest way to deliver the report but, it sacrifices clarity and writing quality in the process. As far as academic writing standards are considered, The writer needs to use at last 3 independent thought sentences per paragraph. It is the independent thought sentences in relation to the provided data that will create the necessary accuracy, clarity, and comparison analysis in the report. Do there and the high passing score will be assured.
## how people aged 25-34 are housed in the UK

  
  
The chart below shows the proportion of people who from 25 to 34 years old are housed in the UK over a course of 10 years starting in 2004.  
  
Overall, it can be seen that there was an increase in the percentages of people aged 25-34 who rented houses and the figure of homeowners diminish dramatically.  
  
To begin, in 2004, the ratio of homeowners was at a peak with just under 60%. There was a slight drop from 2004 to 2006. In 2007, there was a tiny rise. However, the rate of homeowners fell significantly to the ends of the period with approximately 36% in 2014, excepted between 2011 and 2012, the figure remained stable.  
  
In contrast, the proportion of people who rented homes was the lowest with about 20% which grew steadily until 2014, it remained stable from 2005 to 2006 with just under a quarter and from 2012 to 2013 with over 40%. In 2014, the percentages of citizens who rented house which reached a peak at just under a half.  
  
*   
*Thanks for your feedback!*
The writer's analysis could be better presented. Right now, it does not fully utilize the percentage measurements in the chart.The data references are vague for the most part. A fully analyzed paragraph presents a comparison analysis of facts based on figures from the presentation. While individual reporting is important, a comparison of similar or opposing figures in a stand-alone paragraph will be considered in the coherence and cohesiveness score. Such a paragraph analysis will complete the discussion presentation and complete the analysis requirements. The writer shows an ability to present an effective summary report. There is an evident apprehension though to perform a more thorough and interesting analysis. It will also be helpful if the writer utilized more transition words per paragraph.
## single-sex schools and mixed schools

  
  
It is a well-known fact that different types of schools bring different benefits for those who study in. Regard to the question of most parents wonder whether it is much better to send their children to single-sex school than mixed school, there is a strong case to be made for the both sides of the debate.  
  
On the one hand, single-sex education provides children with a relaxed environment and less distraction. Students of both genders do not have to worry about impressing the opposite sex and as a result, they focus more on their tutorials at school with all attention and stay clear of unnecessary misconducts. Further more, gender based on prejudices does not exist in single-sex schools so they can pursue whatever subjects they like without inhibitions. For example, girls can take part in science or chemistry class and boys can join in cookery class, which is often regarded as a subject for girls only.  
  
On the other hand, mixed schools are beneficial for both boys and girls to learn respect by learning how to behave around the opposite sex at the early age. As a consequence, gender misconceptions will be dismissed and in the future, this may lead to a more balanced society where women can be treated as equal as men. Moreover, mixed schools prepare their students with social skills for future life where both sexes need to co-exist peacefully. Thanks to co-education, children can understand the other's perspectives on various issues. Hence, they can be more confident in expressing their own views in the presence of the opposite gender, developing a positive self-image and working better in groups. Finally, on this side of the debate, people often concern that single-sex schools don not facilitate interactions between boys and girls, which possibly lead to awkward moments at social gatherings.  
  
Overall, it appears that the stronger argument is in favor of letting children attend mixed schools, with all the advantages of preparing for their future. Although both types of schools have merits and demerits, I still hope co-education will be promoted by teachers and parents.
The writer is responding to a different prompt question, perhaps of his own creation. The topic being referred to in relation to the foundational topic is: "Some people think that children going to single-sex schools have disadvantages later in life". This is the discussion consideration for the direct question which is : "To what extent do you agree?"  
  
It appears that the writer was not able to fully understand the question, leading to the unrelated response and discussion paragraphs. The measured response should only relate to the disadvantage topic presented later in the original prompt. The task response requirements were not appropriately met. The writer did not meet the following scoring requirements:  
  
- measured emotional response  
- a clear single opinion  
-2 paragraphs of supporting reasons in relation to the measured single opinion  
- An acceptable reverse paraphrase based on the previous discussions.
***Learning english at school is often seen as more important than learning local languages. If these are not taught, many are at a risk of dying out.  
  
In your opinion is it important for everyone to learn English?  
## Should we try to ensure the survival of local languages, and if so, how?***  
  
Nowadays, English is being taught as a first language in many schools in favour of the regional languages. Some fear that if these are not given equal representation in the curriculum, they might be forgotten entirely. I am of the opinion that an attempt to protect regional languages should be made in these communities.  
  
First off, I feel that any indigenous language in a particular region must be included in the coursework of every grade. In addition to that schools must conduct daily readings of the news in the morning assembly by the students in that language. This can be extended to yearly events that promote the literature or cultural background that comes with these local languages. The same can be done by non-academic institutions as well. This should inspire interest among students in finding out more about their community.  
  
Moreover, there are many endangered languages currently in the world, and a large number of ancient languages that we can barely decipher anymore. For example, the Persian language of one of the largest ancient empires is completely forgotten today. That said, we have also lost the ability to translate their texts accurately. Which leads to gaps in our knowledge of their society. Ideas and concepts that we could instead learn from are now shrouded in obscurity.  
  
Finally, English is certainly an important language to learn simply due to its global influence on science, commerce and academia. By no means does that indicate that we must allow a local language to fizzle out of existence especially when we can prevent it.  
  
*If possible please provide an honest band score. This is my first practice essay.*
The writer has not provided a direct and acceptable response to the question: SHOULD WE TRY TO ENSURE THE SURVIVAL OF LOCAL LANGUAGES? The paragraph that relates to this question presents a vague response at the most. It could use expanded discussions to help create a clearer sense of why local dialects are relevant to the country and why it should be preserved.  
  
Questions have been provided in a specific series in the original presentation for a reason. The consecutive response presentations following the original concept creates an automatic ohesive and coherent content. Following the given format for the discussion would have ensured the highest possible score immediately in that scoring section. Being creative and mixing up the paragraph presentations can only be accomplished by writers who already know how to use transition sentences. T his writer does not have that ability yet. So the essay is not as well presented as it could have been.  
  
There is no concluding paragraph in the essay. It is an automatic fail. Simply saying " Finally" does not create a concluding paragraph since the content of that paragraph does not provide concluding summary requirements. In fact, the explanation again, fails to fully explain why it is important for everyone to learn English.  
  
\* Contact me privately for a band score.
Thanks, for the feedback, I realise the errors, and that they were quite obvious in the first place. I'll try to improve in these areas. Also it's pretty clear to me that the band score might be around 5 +- .5 from your comments.  
  
I have one question regarding the conclusion and how it could be presented better? It'd be great if you could give a sample, but not necessary. Maybe if I had structured the rest of it better, it'd wouldn't have seemed like a mess in the end as it is now.