dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
There are several prompts that can apply to your writing. Unless I know which specific prompt you are using, I cannot review your essay for task accuracy. Students are not allowed to provide the prompts in the essay thread for the OP. Only general comments and reviews can be made in your essay because of the lack of prompt and discussion requirements.  
  
You definitely are a fast typist. You have proven that in this essay. However, typing 326 words does not impress the examiner because you typed fast, but failed to check your essay for errors in grammar and spelling. So, writing a long essay became futile because you did not ensure that you would leave time to edit, proofread, and content check your essay for accuracy. You would still get score lowering deductions. It is more important to write well, not write lengthily. Length does not equal perfect writing. Length normally indicates faulty writing because you did not allot time to review your essay within the 40 minutes allotted. All you needed to check the essay for content was 10 minutes towards the end of the writing time. Try that next time. Leave 10 minutes to review and edit your essay. You will spot correctable errors that could have lowered your potential score.  
  
Spelling errors:  
envidence = evidence  
color = colour (UK spelling as opposed to American English)  
widespreading = wide spreading  
  
Grammar errors:  
  
There is no such thing as widespreading. You wanted to say instead that "The pandemic has been prevented from spreading quickly..."  
Use the space bar to separate word presentations. "Evidence,it" should be "evidence , it" .  
World is where people live. Word is a is a unit of language. See the error you made that would definitely pull down your LR score?  
  
If you say something can be denied, that means you are saying there is truth to an argument. However, your sentence indicates that you meant to say that "it CANNOT be denied" meaning there is a truth to an idea or presentation. Word choice matters in the presentation. The more errors you make, the lower your score becomes.  
  
"According to a recent report" - Whose report? What date? When did you read it? Remember, these essays are based on personal experience and knowledge. Never refer to a report. You could instead use a topic sentence to indicate the information, without a source. The source isn't important but the presentation method signifies a better GRA score. You could go directly to: "the number of teenagers giving up studying or involving in illegal activities has been going up dramatically..." This presentation kicks off a clear topic sentence, without the confusion of your misrepresented opinion at the start. The topic is more important than the word fillers used.  
  
You forgot that the conclusion requires you to present the topic restatement, discussion points, and final opinion. It is never a single sentence because you have to present the reverse paraphrase of the original discussion. That is at least 3 sentences long as well.
I will not mention the grammar error anymore because you already have the feedback.  
Here, I would like to suggest that you should brainstorm and collect the ideas before you write an essay.  
In this essay, I think you should present the advantages of the modern world more widely describing the living standard, the heath care system, the transportation system, the education nowadays and the communications,etc.  
  
And for the drawbacks, you should provide as much information as you can such as pollution, the stressful-daily life, the competitive work style,etc.
Please do score my essay. Thank you !!!!  
  
## Parenting, raising children require time

  
  
Nowadays, there is a tendency that parents do not have much time to be with their offsprings. Therefore, I personally believe that children are the victims of this phenomenon.  
  
First of all, the reason why parents spend little free time with their children is the increasing competitiveness in their work environment. As matter of a fact, our world is experiencing a significant development in technology in general and in robotic field in particular. This results in the rise of unemployment all over the world. Parents now are under pressure to make ends meet and put up with the massive workload. So, instead of setting aside free time for their children, parents tend to spend it working to meet the requirement of their employees.  
  
On the other hand, children tend to spend most of their time watching televisions or staring at their smartphone's screen. Unlike the past, children today can get access to electronic devices easily as long as they want. In lieu of part-taking in extracurriculum activities with their parents or sharing things with them, children are allowed to sit in front of the television with the infinite resource of entertainment or surf the Internet for games, films and so on.  
  
As a result, parents and their children hardly have time for each other. Unfortunately, because children are more vulnerable, they are more likely to expose to the disadvantages of spending little time with their parents. One of the typically negative result is that children somehow are badly-orientated. Without parents' advices, children can be easily spoiled by their peers, the Internet or even the criminals. Moveover, children can experience a period of mental crisis when they try to solve their problems alone , for instance, when they suffer from bullying. If the gap between parents and childrens is broken, it will not be fixed bridged easily.  
  
In conclusion, I strongly agree that parents should spend enough time for talking, playing and sharing with their children in order to strengthen the bond between them and give their offspring the appropriate orientation.
There are actually 2 prompts that are connected to the discussion title you provided. Since you did not provide the actual prompt in the essay, upon which your score would have been based, I cannot score your essay. Unfortunately, any student who tries to guess the score you might get will find his account suspended because student scoring is not allowed at the forum. So I do not suggest any students try to score your essay on a hunch or guess either. I'll give you a general review now and score your next essay, if you remember to provide the discussion topic and instructions for it.  
  
The first errors that i noticed in your work is that you wrote 340 words. While I know you can type fast, that does not assure me that you would be able to get a passing score or high score for your work because of several score lowering errors you made in the presentation. Let me outline those errors below:  
  
Spelling Errors:  
childrens = children (children is the plural form of child)  
offsprings = offspring (review the words that have the same singular and plural forms)  
extracurriculum - extracurricular (error in word choice)  
Moveover - Moreover (meaning in addition to what has been said)  
  
Grammar Errors:  
- When typing, please remember that you should not place a space between the last word and a punctuation mark, specially after a comma or period.  
  
- You do not need a hyphen when saying "badly orientated"  
- Lack of word formality when indicating "the reason why". It is too informal in an academic presentation. Rather, indicate "the reason...", skip the "why".  
  
Conciseness Errors:  
- Refrain from using word fillers such as "in particular" and "as long as".  
  
Formatting Errors:  
- The discussion paraphrase and concluding paraphrase need to have at least 3 sentences in it to meet the paragraph count requirement. It must state: The topic, the reasons, who is more affected, for starters. I am not sure what the rest of the discussion instructions are so I cannot offer you more help in the discussion accuracy area.
Mr/Ms. Holt, I write new essay. Please let me know any thing I need to improve,  
which sentence contains incorrect grammar or shouldn't be written or it is not related to the prompt?  
is the conclusion better?  
Thank you  
  
## The risk at sports

  
  
**Some people think governments should ban dangerous sports, while others think it is people's freedom to do whatever sports activities they choose. Discuss both views and give your opinion**  
  
Sports involving a high degree of risk are one of the attractive physical activities which have been appealing to many fans. Many people claimed that authorities should not allow people to take part in these games, while others disagree with this idea. However, I believe that these activities should not be banned  
  
On the one hand, governments have to ban dangerous games since these ones have a potential risk which players cannot control well. These games require people to have professional skills such as diving, jumping, so forth and practice them in many times. If people cannot meet these requirements, dangerous actions negatively affects on them. Take freediving as an example, to play this game, a gamer should be a diving expert, not an amateur and he needs to know his health condition to be sure the water's pressure not to cause his heart to stop beating. Therefore, to prevent individuals from the death caused by these sports games, authorities require people not to participate in them.  
  
On the other hand, I argue in favour of the view that harmful sports are only a professional players' choice. People who take part in these actions are experts, they will do things others are afraid of such as jumping from a helicopter or a high mountain. Before doing activities in the outside environment, experts have practiced in harmless places, thus they can manage their actions and conditions. Moreover, they can discover many new places and make various pictures of these views. As a result, we can know more parts of the world where we will never go to.  
  
In my opinion, politicians just need to alert people to be careful when playing these games. Comparing with driving carelessly on the streets, they are not as a serious problem as causing people's injuries to be limited  
  
To conclude, there is a beneficial effect on prohibiting harmful sports. However, I strongly contend that playing these games is an individual's choice which the government cannot restrict
## Money as the main element of a potential job?

  
  
It is true that it is impossible to have a comfortable life without a decent income. While people argue that money is the key when it comes to occupation choosing, I personally believe that money and some other factors such as working environment and vacation should be equally put into consideration as I am going to analyze below.  
  
On the one hand, it is undeniable that money is becoming increasingly important for living especially in the global urbanization context. In fact, there are numerous bills every month which consume a great deal of money such as house, electricity, water, internet, rubbish fee, and fuel. More importantly, with families who have children, there would be much more on their shoulders due to the fact that all parents want to give their child as well upbringing as possible. Therefore, it is understandable that salary tends to be one of the main concerned elements for any candidate.  
  
On the other hand, it is obvious that a high and stable income, in a certain extent, would raise one's living standard, I am inclined that there are several other things that should be taken into account. The first one would be the working environment because most of us probably spend 30 to 40 percent of our lifetime working. This means that it would be terrible that the work environments are unhealthy and less absorbing, meaning that our life's quality could be declined dramatically. The other main key that should be considered regarding jobs opting would be vacations, resulted from the fact that our self-fulfillment can not be achieved by career alone. This means that people need to keep a balance between their work and other essential ingredients such as quality time with family and other relationships, entertaining activities.  
  
In conclusion, while it is true that money should be taken as the main element of a potential job, I am convinced that the working environment and vacations should be taken equally into account.
When you are asked if you agree or disagree, that is cue to choose only one topic to discuss in the essay. You either support the statement or you don't. Your 2 discussion paragraphs should work towards supporting and proving that you have the correct opinion. Never use a comparative discussion for this essay. When you use a comparative discussion, your essay comes across as not having a clear opinion when one was required by the prompt. In fact, your essay even changed the discussion requirements, which means your essay has an incorrect discussion format from beginning to end.  
  
*Discussion Question: do you agree or disagree?  
Response: I personally believe that money and some other factors such as working environment and vacation should be equally put into consideration*  
  
You changed the dis/agree essay into a comparative personal opinion discussion, which is not what the discussion instruction was. The response was simple as "I disagree with the statement" ,or "I do not believe in the stated opinion" , or any variation thereof that would signify a direct dis/agreement with the given discussion topic. Remember, the purpose of the essay is to have you choose one side of the discussion, and successfully talk about why you (do not) support the statement. It is not a middle of the aisle opinion essay. You can only do a comparative discussion in "discuss both points of view" essay instructed discussions.  
  
As such, the essay will not receive a passing mark due to the error in discussion presentation. You also have several presentation errors that would pull down your score based on individual scoring considerations. I will not review those errors now because I prefer to address the bigger problem than the minute ones that really, won't help you achieve a passing score anyway.
## Some people point out that there will be less international travel in the future.

  
***Do you think it is a positive or negative trend?***  
  
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.(can you give individual scores based on criteria?)  
  
Cross-country travelling is quite debatable topic and many people believes that in the upcoming future international travel will become less over the period of time. So, it needs to ascertain whether it would be positive or negative sign for a nation. Well, I am of the both view that it would be positive trend as well as negative trend.  
  
First of all, if inter-country travelling will be less in the near future then it is beneficial for a country as it will help in saving the outflow of domestic currency to other nation. For example, if people go for holiday trip internationally then they end up spending handsome amount on adventure activities, souvenirs etcetera, so it is an indirect loss for the native country to which travellers belong. Moreover, persons who travel abroad much frequently become habitual to adopt the culture of destination country which is not at all good for a nation since it will start losing their culture values gradually.  
  
On the other hand, tourism industry plays a vital role in uplifting the economy. Any country will be able to earn major chunk of income through tourism sector, therefore, if foreigners people will not visit internationally then a country will not be able to earn foreign exchange. Various researches have shown that federal government earns humongous amount of revenue in the form of taxes through international tourism. Furthermore, many sectors which are directly associated with the tourism will have drastic impact on their growth i.e. hospitality sector, entertainment zones etc.  
  
To sum up, I understand that international tourism is integral for a nation by which we can maintain the good relationship with other country and can earn revenue but we should not forget the cultural values of one's own country by visiting other nation.
## cities versus the countryside

  
  
In a shrinking world, it has become vitally important to recognize and comprehend the concepts of both rural and urban areas once seen as changeable. Improvements in technology and long-distance transportation, along with the rise of the national economy have created a need to identify how society, customs, or even the environment of small towns may be similar or different from cities. Indeed, even though two types of place may differ significantly, frequently enough similarities exist to enable each culture's representatives to find common ground. The rural and urban areas provide a good example of places that entail a lavish lifestyle and have fundamental differences but that still find commonalities.  
  
As many people are aware, there are significant similarities between living in cities and the countryside. In terms of organizing and controlling, both these places have united by the whole apparatus of government. Besides, language seems to be the common means of communication in which both rural and urban areas are using spontaneously. Thus, the aforementioned factors are relatively crucial associating with political concern throughout the flow of innovation today.  
  
Despite the similarities in linguistics, laws, and authorities as well, it is transparently clear that people settling in two places have a distinct lifestyle which becomes a leading cause of choosing where to live. The relationships, for instance, define how close-knit communities the countryside has and how separated surroundings the cities are. Therefore, an ordinate amount of adults tends to abide at these tranquil and peaceful places instead of the hustle and bustle of city life.  
  
Furthermore, a proclivity towards the modern civilization has brought cities much more differences than those small towns. The facilities and constructions have enhanced profoundly by the improvement of technology such as roads, buildings, and public services. Additionally, the variety of transportation during the twentieth century is really conducive to make citizen's life comfortable and convenient compared to difficulties when commuting further from villages. However, although cities can supply adequately all of the incredible services to dwellers, the researchers found that there are a multitude of social problems that should not be underestimated. Dominantly, the population density has increased considerably resulting in some of the pollution such as air, water, or soil. Unlike the countryside, the rate of social crime has regarded burning issues as worthy of consideration occurring in big cities.  
  
All of this being said, there involves multiple differences between living in rural or urban areas in terms of lifestyle or modernity. Nevertheless, the commonalities in other areas, such as language and control of government cannot be ignored. Thereby, it will depend on individual preferences if residents prefer to live for the rest of life.
***Some people believe that it is more important to teach children the literature and history of their own country, rather than the literature and history of other countries.  
  
## To what extent do you agree or disagree?***  
  
It is believed by some individuals that children should learn about their own country's literature and historic events instead of studying the literature and history of other nations. Although I understand the importance of teaching children the literature and history of their country, I believe it is also essential for children to know about other countries' literature and history.  
  
On the one hand, when children learn about the literature of their own country, they can understand the way people in their country think and how they express themselves. Based on that understanding, they can decide wether to continue or make changes to it so that they can create a better and more humane environment for themselves and their children to live in. When it comes to the study of the history of their own country, by learning about the past events, they can understand the struggles that previous generations had to go through so that they can enjoy what they have today. For example, many children in Vietnam tend to take food for granted until they learn about the 1945 famine when millions of Vietnamese died simply because they did not have any food to eat.  
  
On the other hand, teaching children about world's literature allows children to reach above their horizons and understand that humans are the same everywhere. Although they speak different languages in different places and the way they express themselves may vary from one culture to another, deep down inside, we are all the same. This teaching of world's literature can boost compassion and mutual understanding among peoples. Similarly, while learning one's own history is like looking at a piece of a puzzle, learning world's history allows children to have a look at the bigger picture. They can make better sense of what is going on between countries around the world and, from there, they can make better preparations for what is to come in the future.  
  
In conclusion, I personally believe that children should be taught both national and international history and literature, for the sake of their own country and of the global community.
This is an extent essay. So the format for the discussion should be in a degree that supports the "extent" of your dis/agreement with the given statement. There needs to be a measured response with regards to your dis/agreement with the given discussion. Therefore, your response to the essay is incorrect as you do not directly address the given question, nor outline your relevant discussion topics for the next 2 paragraphs. You actually deviated from the original prompt discussion as indicated:  
  
*DI: To what extent do you agree or disagree?  
Response: I believe it is also essential for children to know about other countries' literature and history.*  
  
That is a prompt deviation that shows a response which is not included in the original discussion instructions. There was an instruction misunderstanding on your part which led to the incorrect prompt response. You created your own discussion topic and format. These led to the lack of a clear opinion on your part, which was caused to your non-response to the provided question will surely cause you to get a non-passing TA score. While you do have a final decision presented in the conclusion, it is still not in accordance with the required discussion format (extent response) and therefore, cannot help to boost your TA score.  
  
This is precisely why I always ask my students to ask me to explain the prompt to them, before they start to write their essays. If you are unsure about how to approach the discussion, or what the writing style for the prompt is, it is better to ask questions first, than to be sorry later. Writing a lot of words, in this case 333, does not help your essay since you did not provide the required discussion response at the start. That affected your overall response and, due the remaining errors in your writing based on the last scoring considerations, your essay will have difficulty in achieving even a 5 band score. Always present a clear position based on the discussion requirements. Do that, and you have passed half the test.  
  
My advice, read the sample essays here, Learn from their mistakes but more importantly, learn what the proper approach to various Task 2 discussion instructions might be. Only by learning from the failure of others can you improve your own skills and avoid the same mistakes.