dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
Dam, I cannot figure out what the prompt is trying to say because what you presented is not the original prompt but rather, your interpretation of the original requirements. You are expected to post the original prompt, in a cut and paste method, so as to avoid confusion regarding the content. The original one was in coherent English, which would have allowed me to properly assess your work. Your interpretation is a horrible attempt which excluded certain relevant information regarding the discussion in your interpretation. Until you post the original prompt, I will be unable to determine if you properly responded to the task requirements, based on the provided statement information, or not. You must also indicate if this is a practice essay for an English exam (and what kind) or if this is just for an English writing exercise and nothing more.  
  
You have a tendency to blur the discussions because of multiple topic presentations per paragraph. Your grammar is imperfect because it does not offer clear ideas regarding discussion points. Limit yourself to one topic per paragraph. Completely explain your topic per paragraph. Avoid using filler phrases such as "on the one hand" and use topic sentences at the start of the paragraph instead. That way you begin explaining yourself instead of merely trying to fill a word requirement. Next, avoid run on sentences. Don't separate unrelated ideas using commas because that causes more confusion and makes it difficult for the reader to follow a proper flow of thought coming from the writer.  
  
The other important aspects of this essay cannot be reviewed due to the confusing prompt you have provided. This sounds like an IELTS Task 2 essay so it should be no longer than 250-300 words, not 300-350 words.
To be honest, this is a writing assignment in my English class at school. I copied exactly the original prompt.  
If i can, i would like to turn the prompt into:  
*Some people think that it is more effective for student to study in groups, while other believe that it is better for them to study alone. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.*  
  
I search for some specific ielts writing prompts on the internet. This is one i found most suitable. What do you think?  
  
Actually, i'm just confused with the requirement: **Discuss both views and give your opinion?**, especially the part **give your opinion**. Should i spend a whole paragraph to present my opinion as i did with my essay above or i can merge it into the conclusion paragraph or the two body ones? And if i can merge, how can i do this, can you give me your example?
When presented with a the above instruction for the discussion, you must present each point of view as an individual paragraph. Your personal opinion, counts as an individual paragraph as well. The reason why each part has to be presented separately has to do with the way that you will be explaining and supporting your reasons. You cannot discuss all of the reasons in a single paragraph because you will not be able to present ample supporting references for it. In order to allow you more space to clearly explain yourself, you need to approach each paragraph topic individually.  
  
A personal point of view is not presented as a conclusion because a conclusion does not allow you to present an opinion on a matter. It merely used as a tool by which you close the discussion. Since your personal opinion is still part of the reasoning discussion, you cannot use it as a conclusion for the essay. Not in an academic essay, which this topic counts as and which writing style you are being taught in this class. So your presentation is correct.  
  
Remember, each paragraph needs a topic sentence, just one, for each reason. Each point of view is given one paragraph for a strong presentation. A personal opinion is presented as a separate paragraph, never as part of a conclusion. These are the standard English essay writing rules, for beginners that is. It gets more complicated to write as you progress with your writing skills. Right now, just focus on the simple presentation as I indicated above.
***## Some organisations believe that their employees should dress smartly.

  
Others value quality of work above appearance. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion***  
  
Skills of any individual cannot be observed by their appearance. Many companies believe that quality of an employee can be distinguished by the knowledge and skills of their work. Whereas some institutions recommend dressing up smartly can have a good impact on others. In my opinion, quality of workers represent their skills and desire toward the corporation than the dressing sense of an individual.  
  
Firstly, well-dressed employee can bring the discipline paradigm in the firm but it's unnecessary. To be dressed accordingly to their need can create an enjoyable, and hence convenient environment to perform their jobs at their bests. Moreover, it leaves a good impact and hence, inspire workers to prove their mantle on everyday job rather than focusing on being dressed smartly. Secondly, employee showing quality work and applying the skills on the job can bring the organisation to its highest growing pace rather than maintaining a good life-style in the staff can do. For example, a startup company generally focuses on the quality, skills and desire of an individual which could further helps the firm to achieve maximum of its achievement in the rising time.  
  
On the other hand, discipline and life-style plays a vital role in the growth and healthy environment in the firm. But, it is not the only thing that could lead any organisation to its highest point. Although, companies should reward the employees on weekly basis for their performance as well as maintaining a discipline and good lifestyle in the corporation.  
  
In conclusion, an appearance of the employees is prominent for their job-career if the skills are considered as the most useful to boost the performance of the organisation.
You have a lot of grammar mistakes. I will list them here:  
Many companies believe that quality, In my opinion, quality: You are missing "the" before quality in both of them.  
of workers represents  
Firstly, the well-dressed employee  
firm but it's unnecessary: there is a comma after "firm"  
create an enjoyable, and: no comma between enjoyable and "and"  
hence convenient: using hence is inappropriate. you can use "so"  
the everyday job  
Secondly, an employee  
could further help~~s~~ the firm  
Focus on your grammar. If you do, your essay will be better.
Piyush, the presentation of the word from your essay; "startup" should be done in 2 hyphenated words to connote a singular meaning for 2 words. In this case "start" means to begin and "up" means to "build upon", making the word mean "start to build". Please familiarize yourself with hyphenated words to ensure that the correct meaning is presented at all times.  
  
"But" cannot be used to start a sentence as that is a conjunction used to explain an alternative idea in relation to an already mentioned phrase. It is a connecting word to create a seamless connection between two different discussion points in one sentence and is always used with a comma after the word.  
  
There is a subject-verb disagreement in the presentation of the phrase "quality of workers represent their skills ". Please note that the words "workers" and "skills" are both in plural form and as such "represent" should be in the plural form "represents" as well.  
  
Since you are writing in an academic format, you cannot use conjunctions in your presentations. Always present these words, such as "it's" in the formal language which is "it is".  
  
Now, that we have your grammar issues out of the way, I want to focus on the discussion instruction for the essay. This is a 5 paragraph essay because there are 3 reasoning paragraphs required in the form of:  
  
- Public POV 1 ( Some organizations)  
- Public POV 2 (Others value)  
- Personal POV (Own Opinion)  
  
Throughout this essay, you have made it clear that you did not follow the prompt discussion requirement which was: Discuss both points of view and give your opinion. What you did was just discuss your personal point of view right from the opening paraphrase. Therefore, your TA score will be lowered due to the lack of required discussion points and also, lack of minimum word count due to the missing discussion points. As such, your essay will only be scored for the personal point of view aspect which, owing to the other errors in your work, will not merit a passing score. Next time, make sure you follow the prompt instructions to the letter. Do not choose which part you will respond to, respond to all required elements or risk failing the test.
## TV ads and kids

  
  
There is a great debate about that television advertising towards children from two to five years old should not be supported.Personally, I believe that televion has bad impacts on children at two to five ages. In this essays, I will point out two reasons why television advertising has bad effects on children from two to five years old.  
  
First of all, children at this range of ages cannot differentiate which is real in ad ertisements on TV. It is really dangerous if children believe virtually what the see from the scenes. To prove bad impacts of television advertising, I have an example about my cousion at the age of four. When he is four years old, he had to go to the hospital because his belief in advertisement. After watching an advertisement on TV, he totally believe that drinking a kind of medicine could improve his strength and allow him to fly like a superman. Therefore, after drinking this drug, he jumped from the high chair and had a serious pain. This example can prove that it is dangerous that advertisements make children believe in something that is not realistic  
  
Secondly, at this ages, children are dificult to refuse the attraction from advertisement. Therefore, children will have many unreasonable demands from what they see on television.For example, when children see many different types of impressive toys on TV, they are not able to deny the desire of owning those toys. Because industry is strongly developing, the toys which are more creative are produced. Therefore, toys are now are more attractive with childrend. Their parents will be diffcult to allow all of their desire.  
  
In conclusion, we should not permit television advertising towards children from two to five. This is because the bad effects on children of those advertisemnts
Hieu, you were not careful at all while writing this essay. You have more than 7 spelling errors in this presentation that show how you disregarded the LR and GRA scoring criteria. You would have received very low scores in the LR section alone as you obviously did not care to connect the word spelling with the meaning and word usage in every paragraph. You will be luck to have gotten a close to passing score based on your English word usage in this essay.  
  
Your GRA scores would have also received a failing mark based on your grammar misrepresentations in this work. Your essay has noun-phrase disagreements in relation to singular and plural discussions. Remember "this" is the singular for "these". Say "In this essay" because you are writing only one essay, not a series of essays (note the plural form usage) based on a single topic. Please, before you take the test, familiarize yourself with subject-verb agreements, singular - plural relationships, as well as tense usage. Those are your weakest points with regards to GRA concerns.  
  
Now, without knowing what the actual prompt is for this essay (provide that next time), I cannot advise you beyond this point. I believe that these writing errors should be more than enough to help you improve your skills when it comes to your next practice essay anyway. Hopefully, you will remember to provide the prompt next time so I can better analyze your work and offer relevant advice.
Hi, I have to say that i like your essay in the way that i even can't explain clearly. It is easy to follow and has logical reasoning. Your example about your cousin is quite interesting and so convincing that it supports your topic very well.  
  
Your essay is quite different with most of essays i have known because you don't place your topic sentence at the opening of each body paragraph, instead, at the end. Writing in this way causes no problem for your first body paragraph because you organise your ideas very logically.  
  
However, when it comes to second paragraph, it seem to be not as well as the first. I guess that your main idea in the second may be : " The advertisement are so attractive that children are difficult to refuse the desires of owning all which can waste their parents a lot of money ''. Personally, i think that if you open with this topic, instead of dividing it into 2 parts and putting each part at the end and opening of the paragraph, your essay will be better.  
  
Moreover, your opening paragraph has the problem repeating the expression "children from two to five years old" 3 times, which can lose your Lexical Resource points. You can avoid this by replace with " they ", " these" or " this group of children".  
  
I hope my personal opinion will be helpful!
## cities reflect the characteristics of society

  
  
The author maintains that the paramount characteristics of the society can be understood by studying its major cities. It is, however, unfair to generalize, only, cities reflects the mirage of society. Moreover, other parts of the country also needed to be studied to get the complete information of, traits of society, as a whole.  
  
In today's fast paced and competitive world, cities play an important role to the countries social, economic and political facets of the country. Apparently, cities are the political and financial hub of the country. International relations and foreign policies are established here. Also, most of the major governmental bodies enact, discusses major decisions, and implement it smoothly for welfare of the country in cities. Likewise, financial budget-for the proper operation and development works of the country-is appropriated in capitals. But regardless of these facts, rapid urbanization and industrialization, in major cities, in competition for being best, cities have lost true essence of the society.  
  
Surely, one of the indispensable characteristics of society is culture and language, which reflects identity, beliefs, traditions, and behaviour encompassed by the people dwelling on society. Even when, major cities represent a part of cultural diversity and variations of language that represents society, studying of these aspects in cities only, one will not obtain outright information. For instance, Kathmandu, the capital city of Nepal, is one of the major cities. Although, the people inhabiting here represents few of the diversified cultural aspects and general language, one cannot infer that cultural diversity of society is mirror of Kathmandu only, as whole. There are various numbers of cultures and varieties of languages prevailing at different rural and sub-urban areas.  
  
By the same token, education, literacy rates, employment opportunity, occupation, living lifestyle, music, art and many more, are the necessities to understand the characteristics as a whole. These characteristics, in both major cities and rural areas, should be studied in order to get the birds view of the society. To exemplify this let us consider the example of India. Being the capital and one of the major cities of India, it affords better education than Chennai, a comparatively rural state. Undoubtedly, it offers plethora of employment opportunity and lifestyle here is far more sophisticated. Likewise, different forms of art also vary from cities to urban areas based upon the beliefs and traditions.  
  
In conclusion, it is true that major cities reflects the characteristics of society in political and economic aspects; however, in order to study important traits of the society as a whole, one must embrace other various factors that is not reflected by the major cities alone.
Manish, I believe you have written an essay that could fall within the baseline score of 4. I have come to this conclusion based on several scoring factors. Please allow me to explain my reasons below:  
  
You managed to present a clear idea regarding the statement that was given. Next time, please clarify that this was a statement provided and not a quote from a publication. There is no author for this statement as it is directed as a question of a general nature, not as part of a research paper or article you are being assigned to analyze and respond to.  
  
Your ideas as somewhat confusing to read for a native English speaker due to the confusing nature of your sentence presentation at times. You also need to create more effective transition sentences at the end of each paragraph to help prepare the reader for the change in your discussion topic or the nature of discussion. I often found myself surprised by the abrupt change of discussion from one paragraph to the next. Transition sentences can help lessen the shock and prepare the reader for the next topic.  
  
The supporting points help the essay but could have a better worded presentation that is based on more appropriate vocabulary use and tense presentation. There are several grammar issues related to English fluency in this essay which can be avoided if you concentrate on using proper sentence presentations from the very start. My main concern is how you constantly turn to the use of long-sentences, commonly referred to as run-on sentences to explain yourself. It is the length of the sentence that creates the confusion and difficulty in following your discussion presentations. Keep the sentences short. Use only English words you are sure of the meaning of. Finally, avoid trying to connect 2 discussion points in one sentence to keep the presentations clear and focused.  
  
I would have been able to present more of a review of this writing had you provided the complete prompt for it in the posting. Please remember to do that next time so you can receive a more in-depth review of your work from me.
## education levels by genders and age range

  
  
The bar chart and pie chart illustrates the percentage of education levels by genders and age range in Glasgow, a city in Scotland, in 2010. The information is provided surrounding three different education levels are University Degree, School Certificate and No Qualification.  
  
Overall, the age groups embrace an aggregate of University Degree's education level in the bar chart was primarily colossal of five age items. Furthermore, University Degree has a massive number of majority proportion from 21 to 35 age range (76%). In addition, there is a subtle difference between Scholl Certificate and No Qualification at over 75 age. Slightly more people who were without certificated than men and women have a diploma in school( 72% and 3% respectively).  
  
In terms of School Certificate, out of the five age ranges, in each proportion from 16 to 75 age ranges which have slightly fluctuated 15% and 20% respectively. Moreover, it has corresponded percentage of both genders (33%). Compared to, No Qualification's aged 16 to 50 was one and the same percentage is 9%.  
  
Regarding the pie chart, No Qualification has the highest percentage of educational certification that any genders were achieving with all age.  
  
* 
*
Quoc, the good news is that you wrote the perfect number of words for this report to gain maximum consideration when it comes to individual criteria scoring. The bad news, is that you still have a few grammar issues and presentation concerns in the report. Let's get started with the grammar issues first.  
  
Try to avoid subject verb problems in your presentation by being sure of what action should take place in the sentence and how you will be referring to it. For this essay, since you are presenting information that has already been written, rather than currently being written, then the past form of the word "illustrate" should be used. You must also avoid redundancies just for the sake of meeting or overcompensating for the word count. "One and the same" is a redundancy. Saying "the same" would have been more effective in a formal written presentation.  
  
As for the presentation itself, you should have at least 2 trending statements presented in it. One sentence for the pie chart, one for the bar chart. Presented at the end of the summary overview for maximum scoring effect or, as a stand-alone paragraph immediately after the overview presentation. You should also avoid presenting information within a parenthesis in these report essays as those information are required for formal information on the reader's part. It is not optional. It also prevents you from doing an accurate analysis of the report. Always remember, the assumption is that the reader will not have a copy of these images and data, hence the importance of accurately presenting the information as part of the TI scoring in this essay. Task Information is of vital importance in the smooth presentation of the data from the images to the reader.
## prices of crude oil

  
  
The line graph illustrates the world's crude oil prices shown in US dollars per barrel between 1970 and 2005. As can be seen from the graph, prices of crude oil went up and down a lot during 35 years.  
  
At the beginning of the period, crude oil was sold very cheaply but before Arab oil embargo in 1976, the price shot up from approximately 2 dollars to just over 10 dollars a barrel by 1974. From this point, there was a small increase to 12 dollars one barrel for the following 4 years before rocketing to well over 30 dollars per barrel when Iranian revolution happened. The crude oil price got higher to nearly 36 dollars when Iran - Iraq war occurred in 1980.  
  
However, this did not last long and that number had dropped back to 12 dollars per barrel in 1986. Then, the price fluctuated a great deal for the next 14 years with its highest price during that time period was 20 dollars a barrel in Invasion of Kuwait. From 1998, the figure rose dramatically to 32 dollars in Second Gulf crisis and reached a peak of 50 dollars one barrel.  
  
*
1. You should write the overall's information in your essay.  
  
2. the next ~~14~~ 4 years  
  
3. very cheaply ~~but~~ before Arab oil  
  
4 years before rocketing to  
  
> You should use more grammar structures.  
  
4. From 1998, the figure rose ...  
> What were you trying to say here?  
  
> [...] reached the highest peak of 50 dollars one barrel during the event happened.  
> You should indicate the highest point of the figure in the essay text.