dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
The first sentence of your prompt restatement is not going to get you a good TA and GRA score. You have created a confusing run-on sentence there which tries to combine all 2 ideas from the original prompt in a single sentence. Clarity is always the most important aspect of every sentence and paragraph presentation in this test. Separate those ideas into at least 2 sentences. The sentences should contain:  
  
Sentence 1: The restated topic (SOME EDUCATIONALISTS ... TEENAGE SCHOOL STUDENTS.)  
Sentence 2: Discussion instruction response (DO YOU THINK ...THE DISADVANTAGES?)  
  
If you divide your original presentation into 2 sentences, you should see the clarity set into the represented prompt:  
  
*It is argued by some educationalists that all teenage school students would benefit a great deal from foreign programmes. Albeit with some drawbacks of this idea, I opine that the benefits are far more significant.*  
  
Do you see how the pause, created by the period, allows you better read the sentences? It gives you, as a reader, a better sense of what each sentence is discussing and why it is important to be discussed. That is how you create a clear, cohesive, and coherent prompt restatement.  
  
Do not use "On the one hand" if you not writing a comparative essay. It is silly to say "on the one hand" if you cannot say "on the other hand" in the next paragraph. It negates the comparative representation you were aiming for. It would be better instead, to use a personal opinion reference such as "From what I understand..." or "Based on what I know about exchange programmes..." Since the instruction is asking for your personal opinion regarding the advantages and disadvantages.  
  
The concluding sentence again, suffers from the same problem as the opening sentence. I have already shown you how that error can be corrected. I hope you apply it in your future writings.
## IELTS writing task 2 Academic

  
  
Topic: **People in big cities are facing many health challenges due to a high level of air pollution. What causes air pollution in big cities? Can you suggest some ways to deal with this situation?**  
  
Air pollution has come one of the most controversially serious problems, and has affected significantly community health in many big cities throughout the world. This essay will give some major causes that have make our atmosphere more and more contaminated, and also will propose some solutions to handle the problems of air contamination in big cities.  
  
One of the important causes of air pollution is the significant increase of private traffic transportation means in big cities, such as, motorbikes, cars, etc, that dispose a large amount of carbon dioxide and other poisonous gases affecting directly to the atmosphere, resulting in air contamination. Another factor that is determined widely is the development of construction activities. These construction activities could generate huge amount of dusks at low atmosphere level that affects directly living environment of people. This problem has become more popular in big cities of developing countries in which demands on building infrastructure systems and high buildings are increasing dramatically in recent years. Additionally, a number of people living in big cities has become more crowded for their living and working demands, resulting in discharging wastes and rubbish that could produce greenhouse gases into the air.  
  
In order to solve these problems caused by the factors mentioned above, there are some following beneficial solutions. Firstly, government should have specific strategies to reduce private transportation types such as motorbikes, cars by developing public vehicles and using green energy sources to replace fossil energy sources in order to reduce greenhouse gas emission. Secondly, the construction activities in central places should be limited to reduce the discharge of dusks into the atmosphere. Thirdly, implementation of tree plantation projects in big cities is also an important and necessary solution to refresh the atmosphere.  
  
In conclusion, air pollution is still currently serious problem in many big cities throughout the world and this problem is caused by different factors but most of causes for this are from people. Solutions for this problem need to be implemented comprehensive and sustainable to make the atmosphere refresh for next generations
When there is no emotion involved in the original statement (e.g. controversially), there is no need to state the topic in an exaggerated manner in the restatement. Since this has to be an academic presentation of the original prompt, you do not need to use sensationalist terms in an effort to increase your LR score. Trigger words (controversially) are not required in an academic opinion presentation. You were asked direct questions in the original prompt, these require direct responses in the restated section because your responses to the questions will be used to measure how well you understood the discussion topic, questions, and your ability to properly respond to the same. English comprehension skills must be evident in this paragraph.  
  
You tend to use non-academic terms in your essay such as "etc." which reduces the C&C abilities of your presentation. Always bear in mind that this is an academic paper, not a casual blog or discussion among friends. Always write for your target audience who are, in this case, academics and fellow students.  
  
Your causes and solutions paragraph have too many causes, but not enough explanations for each cause. The discussion is imbalanced. Use one topic or 2 related topics in the paragraph that can use the same examples and explanations so that the C&C score will not be lowered due to under developed explanations.
Hi! Your essay seems well written and shows a respectable grip on the language. However, there are a few instances where you falter.  
  
For example, I believe you mean "controversial and serious" instead of "controversially serious". Similarly, in the same sentence, "affected" should follow "significantly", instead of how you've written it. In the first sentence of the second paragraph, change "private traffic transportation means in big cities, such as, motorbikes, cars, etc," to "private vehicles such as motorbikes and cars". Instead of "that dispose" in the same sentence, you should have used "that dispose**s**", because the subject of the question is the (singular) increase of vehicles and not the (multiple) vehicles themselves. There are several more examples which I suggest you fix - free services like grammar would help you get a grasp on the same.  
  
In terms of content, I think your essay is well structured and has satisfying, although not impressive, content. I would suggest adding in a fact or statistic about the causes of air pollution in the second paragraph to make it more interesting. Remember, you would not be marked negatively if the fact/statistic in question is made up.  
  
I wish you the best of luck!
Your essay is really long (340 w), I think you do not need the 3rd ideas ( the "additionally" part), instead, you could give an example, which is super great and highly recommend because it makes your ideas deeper (quality is more important than quantity). my example for the 2nd solution ( I don't think construction could be "limited" so I'll change the word "be limited" to "apply some dust control measures"). construction sites could use wind barriers such as board fences and wind fences, which can control air currents and blow soil, to prevent the soil from blowing off-site.
Could anybody evaluate my writing for the IELTS exam, please? Thank you so much for your help.  
TASK 2  
## Some people claim that not enough of the waste from homes is recycled.

  
***They say that the only way to increase recycling is for governments to make it a legal requirement. To what extent do you think laws are needed to make people recycle more of their waste?***  
  
Dealing with the waste from home by recycling has little to no chance to be on the list of chores that many a person under roofs would have had the intention to do regularly. With that being said, creating so many negative effects both on the environment and the quality of life we are living in namely odors from filthy overloading landfills, and the unsteady flow of drainage systems caused by the unwanted presence of plastic waste, etc. Hence, it is urgent for governments to enact a law on recycling at homes in order to increase the tendency of people to recycle more of their homes' waste.  
  
Legislative actions about recycling at homes can decrease the volume of waste that is recyclable but unfortunately be ignored, or thrown away from houses. In addition, residents whose government making recycling at home a legal requirement will be more responsible for reutilizing and recycling their domestic waste as much as possible. Trying to recycle more at home will save people budgets on buying new things which they could have had from recycling their own domestic waste. Besides, it helps reduce the amount of plastic or sorts of products that would come out to the environment causing overloading and pollution.  
  
Having such laws would help governments express their concerns about people's lives and issues that will leave negative effects on the residents such as the problem of too little waste is recycled domestically. Usually, people seem to refrain from being negligent about dealing with waste from homes if there are laws that considered it a legally compulsory task. As a result, people will not only have faith but also gain motivation to give much of their homes' waste some new life circles. Therefore, it lies with the governmental action to stop the hesitation of people in recycling and reusing domestic waste.  
  
To sum up, it is likely that people are unaware of the need to recycle their waste at homes making it essential to have a sheer influence from the authority to mitigate the situation. Thus, governments should take initial steps to encourage people to recycle more domestic waste by having legislative action about recycling at homes.  
  
---------------  
Thank you!
You have not followed the formatting requirements for this essay. There is a missing prompt restatement and response to the given question as your thesis statement for the rest of the discussion. Without that reference point, the essay does not qualify for the TA section. There is a change in the representation of the original statement in your first paragraph, which makes the essay conflict with the original. You have not discussed the essay in the expected manner. As such, the TA score for this will be failing at the very start. Which means, you will not get a passing score for this essay.  
  
I will not focus on the rest of the discussion presentation because the portion of this essay that is severely problematic is the prompt restatement. Rather than simply using your own words to explain the original points, you decided to immediately launch into a discussion of the prompt, which would have been alright if you were taking the TOEFL test, but can result in failure in the EILTS Task 2 test. You changed the original prompt several times:  
  
OT: Some people claim that not enough of the waste from homes is recycled.  
YT: Dealing with the waste from home ... intention to do regularly.  
  
OR: They say that the only way to increase recycling is for governments to make it a legal requirement.  
YR: With that being said, creating so many negative effects... plastic waste, etc.  
  
OQ: To what extent do you think laws are needed to make people recycle more of their waste?  
Response: Hence, it is urgent for governments ...of their homes' waste.  
  
Do you see the discrepancies from the original to your version? You are not discussing the essay topic according to the originally given parameters. You have to stick to the original discussion, and offer a measured response as required. Otherwise, this essay does not meet the TA requirements for the discussion. There is no extent discussion, just a plain reference to the government needing to do more to encourage home recycling, which is not the discussion point of the essay. The discussion point is, "To what extent should the government legislate home recycling?". That is what you failed to discuss. There is no all encompassing discussion for this prompt. Only partial discussion based on the limitations of the government when it comes to the issue of mandating recycling from home.
So, I suck at psychology. I need help on improving my psychology essays, so I was wondering if there was anyone who could review the paragraph below and suggest on improvements. My exam board is International Edexcel.  
  
Question:  
## Discuss the Nature-Nurture Debate in Psychology

. *(16 marks)*  
  
The nature vs. nurture debate has three stances: the nativists (extreme nature stance), the interactionists (the middle ground, looking at both nature and nurture views) and the empiricists (extreme nurture stance). Rene Descartes suggested that humans are born with predispositions for their behaviors whereas John Locke suggested that we are born a blank slate and our environment determines our behavior. The suggestion that either nature or nurture is the sole cause of human behavior has implications. By suggesting that our behaviour is determined due to our environment or our biology can lead to socially sensitive conclusions. This ideology can further divide our society by oppressing people based on gender, race, sexuality, class, status, culture and so on. It can lead to reinforcing 'desirable' behaviors and punishing 'undesirable' behaviors, leading to a society that is socially controlled and segregated.  
  
And if anyone knows about the markscheme of edexcel, please lemme know how much this would score. Im aware this won't score me 16 marks, but I wanna know how to improve before I press on.
Don't just focus on the theoretical side of the issue, discuss the debate based on what you have observed and experienced as well. How would you say your upbringing influenced your personality? Would it be on the nature, as referenced by an inborn personality, or nurture, developed through your relationship and the expectation of your parents? While the debate discussion does have scientific basis, the justifications of your explanation would be more considerable if the theory were attached to real life.  
  
While I cannot actually give you a score for this essay, I can tell you this, the work you provided is simple but complete. It meets the marks for the exam requirements as far as I can tell. You have done well enough to potentially score full marks based on individual considerations. The work you have provided shows a clear knowledge and understanding of the topic, but could have used more specific reference points for the discussion examples. if this is your first time writing for the test, then you have done a decent job at accomplishing the discussion task.
## an island, before and after the construction

  
  
The maps illustrate tourism facilities in some island before and after constructed by the developers.  
  
Overall, more and more buildings are added, and the accommodation became main focus in that area to encourage visitors. Also, the trees are not disappeared by them.  
  
When it comes to the western area, there are established 6 new buildings as new accommodation for tourist after the designers finishing their project, and the coconut trees as well as the previous in the center of those constructions. Hence, if tourists want to go to the beach, they can using pavement facilities as their direction, and it seems that after reconstructing, visitors can swimming in the shoreline are.  
  
Moreover, Restaurant and Reception are built by the architectures in the middle islands where include vehicle way for visitors, and also the travelers who use the boats can directly to the former building, while those line connect with pier in that an island. In the eastern side, more and more hotels are developed, and they coconut trees are not eliminated from that an island.  
  
*
When identifying images, indicate the number of images presented. In this task, there are 2 maps. So the differentiation should be based on 2 maps as provided. Do not change the information from the original prompt. There are no "developers" mentioned as having constructed the facilities. This misleads the reader, who will not know what the actual information was only based on "the construction of tourist facilities". It is that phrase that you should have accurately restated in your own words, without changing the information by referring to "developers" since, as I mentioned before, there was no reference to such originally.  
  
Your vocabulary is not very good. You are using the word "buildings" to represent the constructed edifices on the island. These are not buildings. These are huts, tents, guest facilities, guest houses, to name but a few more appropriate alternative word choices. Remember what you are writing about and use relevant language in relation to that. In this case, you are writing about the beach island and its facilities. The hotels on beaches are not normally called "buildings".
Hi, I'm about to take the IELTS exam next moth, so I'm here to ask for helps  
Could you please have a quick glance at my writing task 1 essay (bar chart expository essay)? I'm so grateful for your contribution. I'm also enclosing a photo, the dissolution is, however, quite low because of the website's regulations of limited photos' size. Thanks in advance  
  
Here is my work!  
  
## bar chart expository essay

  
  
The diagram indicates how the habit of purchasing and consuming two types of beverage (coffee and tea) varies in five Australian metropolises in the past four-week period.  
  
From an overall perspective, it is undoubted that the number of Australians going for a drink at local cafés accounts for the largest percentage in total throughout the investigated cities, while fresh takeaway coffee is the least favorite option. In addition, the gap between instant and fresh coffee choices in Brisbane and Adelaide is less remarkable than that of Sydney, Melbourne and Hobart.  
  
To begin with Sydney and Melbourne, more than 60% of Australians living in those cities prefer drinking coffee and tea at cafés. Approximately 45% of people in Sydney are used to buying instant coffee, which is about 5% less than those in Melbourne. The number of citizens who decide to purchase fresh coffee in two towns stand at around 43%.  
  
Regarding the remaining towns, 50% to 53% of Australian residents choose to purchase instantly made coffee, which is around 15% greater than the percentage of those who favor fresh coffee. Moreover, the habit of going for coffee and tea in Hobart constitutes the highest proportion compared the rest of cities, which is 10% and 15% larger than the two cities, Brisbane and Hobart respectively.  
  
(214 words)  
  
Have a good day!  
  
*
While you will not be scored less for writing over 200 words, the problem with writing more than 175-190 words is that you sacrifice the quality of your work. Allowing errors to remain because you ran out of time, or neglected to double check the presentation for obvious errors that can affect your GRA, LR, or C&C scoring sections. In this instance, the minute I looked at the image, and compared the description you used, I already saw an immediate TA problem. The presentation is a comparative columnar bar chart, you described it as a diagram. That is considered data inaccuracy and will show that you did not understand what the image represents. Do not offer personal opinions in the data presentation (It is undoubted that...) as there is no requirement for that in a task 1 essay. You should only report the facts as indicated, using your own words.  
  
The summary overview should have at least 3-5 sentences in it. This should never be a run-on sentence because there are various information being presented, all of which require its own sentence presentation to help preserve the clarity of the summary paragraph.
~~From an overall perspective~~ INITIALLY (Its better than buy words), ... largest percentage**S** in total ...  
Brisbane and Adelaide ~~is~~**ARE** less ...  
  
... at cafés.**HENCE/THUS**, ... people in ~~Sydney~~ the former area (avoiding repetition) are ... ~~which is~~ **BEING** about ...  
  
..., **FROM** 50% to 53% of ... ~~which is~~ **SHOWING** around 15% ...  
... constitutes **BECAME** the highest ...  
  
Notes:  
- reduce for using too much the words of "which is", its better if you use another option.  
- Overall, you have wide range of grammars and vocabularies
## percentage of national expenditure by category

  
  
The table illustrates about the proportion of national buyer expenditure on selective categories in five nations in 2002.  
  
Overall, the highest percentage of spending nourishment or cigarette and studying including activities in 2002 was Turkey, whereas Italy's consumption spent the most percentage of clothes. In contrast, Sweden's expenditure accounted the least proportion of costume and foodstuff and Spain consisted the lowest rate of spending on education or studying activities.  
  
Turkey was the country that had the highest percentages consisting of 32.14% and 4.35% by two items including foodstuff or tobacco and training, which doubled the percentage of expenditure in Ireland on both items as same as Turkey . Ireland were the second highest which accounted for 28.91% of nourishment or cigarette and Italy had the most significant proprtion of clothing at 9%.  
  
On the other hand, it can be seen that Sweden and Spain had the lowest percentages on different categories. The proportions of national consumer expenditure in Sweden on food, drinks, tobacco and clothing or footwear were approximately 16% and 6%. Spain had slightly higher on these figures, but the lowest figure on leisure and education was nearly 2%.
You forgot to include the image so you cannot expect a thorough and appropriate review of your report presentation. I do not have any instructions or image to base the review of your work on. That said, I will do what I can to give you a general review of your work. As best as it can apply without the writing instructions.  
  
The summary overview could have more information such as the categories you will be reviewing, which would help the reader develop a mental picture of the image the information is based on. You are missing a trending statement in the presentation. Your summary of information comparison is missing the 5th country. The comparison cannot be considered a trending statement as the trending statement indicates either a predominantly high or low measurement towards the end of the measurement image for one of the countries. There is no country in particular that needs to be presented, but the trend must be singular rather than comparative.