dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
Do not place the basis of the writer's opinion / thesis statement in the first sentence. Always follow the uniform presentation format of:  
  
Sentence 1: Restate the topic  
Sentence 2: Writer's opinion  
Sentence 3: Reason for the opinion  
  
By following the standard presentation and placing the information in the correct sections of the paragraph, the writer will be able to achieve a higher preliminary score due to the clarity of his idea presentation / thesis statement. Any information that is not contained in the original prompt and presented ahead of the thesis will result in point deductions. That said, the discussion basis would have been highly beneficial to the score had it been placed in the correct section of the presentation.  
  
Old age refers to senior citizens or people whose ages no longer allow them to bear children. Advanced age simply means a person who is in the later stages of adulthood, still young enough to have children. The writer clearly shows a lack of proper English word usage in this case. It will be noticed and deducted from the LR score.  
  
Word count and point deductions will be applied for the 2nd reasoning paragraph that counters the writer's original statement. Due to the sudden change in opinion, the score will now be based on an unclear opinion and under developed discussion presentation. Always remember that the A/D essay is based on a single opinion defense. It is never comparative.  
  
Will the essay fail due to these errors? There is a likelihood that it could happen.
***Some people think that the best way to reduce the time spent in travelling to work is to replace parks and gardens close to the city center with buildings apartments for commuters, but others disagree.***  
  
## Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

  
  
People hold different views about whether authorities should dismantle parks and gardens by apartment buildings. While in some way, it might seem reasonable to maintain those in downtown. I personally believe that those places are essential for inhabitants.  
  
There are several reasons why people might argue that governments should construct more apartment buildings. Firstly, parks and gardens occupy a lot of areas which leads to some people living far from the city center will spend more time traveling to work. For example, people living in extramural areas will have a longer distance to go to work than those living in the city center. Secondly, it might be supposed that those places may be useless because of not being association with economic development.  
  
However, I would agree with those who believe that the government should not construct apartment buildings instead of parks and gardens. The main benefit of those places is that they increase air quality, which contributes to maintaining good mental health for citizens. This is particularly the case for those who go to parks or gardens on a regular basis, and they will find a sense of relaxation because they can be close to nature and relieve stress. Besides, trees in gardens and parks also facilitate an increase in the fresh air in the atmosphere.  
  
In conclusion, while there may be benefits to constructing more apartment buildings for commuters. However, I believe that keeping parks and gardens in the city center will have more advantages to outweigh the disadvantages in the long-term.
The overall discussion is off topic. The result will be a failing score because the writer changed the discussion focus from the original which is targeted on "reducing the time people spend in travelling to work" to "advantages and disadvantages of "replacing city centers with buildings and apartments with parks and gardens". The writer did not fully understand the discussion focus, discussion instructions and prompt requirements for the reasoning presentations. This will result in an overall failing score immediately.  
  
A problem with the clarity of thought and idea presentation is also evident in the essay as the thoughts are not easily understandable due to sentence construction and word usage errors. The writer did his best to come across as knowledgeable with everyday English words, but the opposite is what he proved to be true. He has no control over his English language skills.
## When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

  
*Write at least 250 words*  
  
Opinions are divided on whether the amount of money that we earn from our jobs is the most crucial component when deciding on a career. I believe that the salary is the key consideration to survive in the future. However, when choosing a job, it is not because there must be a combination of many factors to decide.  
  
Of course, having a stable income plays an important role in daily life. It can be said to be always a big concern of everyone because nowadays after the covid 19 pandemic and war between Russia and Ukraine, the price of many products become higher. For instance, the cost of petrol in our country witnessed a dramatic increase that has never been seen before. These changes require people to have a higher earning money to cover the basic needs and remain reasonable living standards.  
  
However, other considerations are also as significant as the revenue. The reason is that because of the advent and development of modern technology, the tendency of jobs in the future may be changed in the future. It was proved through the past that some jobs can help people earned a lot but they provide lower payment these days. Therefore, people have to be a far-sighted person or learn more to predict and analyze the trend to get a good job, not just depend on the salary. To add further credence to my assertion, I note the fact that we always need inspiration to maintain doing something, especially a job. Therefore, people also need to find a suitable job based on their ability that they are good at to improve their position of strength or even your hobby which will help them have motivation to stabilize their job.  
  
In conclusion, all the considerations have the same importance, so people should think carefully to have a successful career path.
The writer forgot to reference the correct response format in both the opinion presentation and summarized conclusion. As such the paper will be deemed to be delivering a response in an unexpected form. The extent response prior to the reasoning foundation is not present in the statement. This is more than enough reason for a lower scoring consideration.  
  
The discussion format went from a single opinion to a comparison consideration. Being a prompt deviation from the original discussion format, the essay cannot receive scores for the C + C section as the discussion has been made irrelevant to the prompt. This lack of proper discussion presentation shows that the writer did not understand the instructions, even though he understood the topic. The essay will fail.
## **Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.**

  
  
The bar graph shows the percentage of high school graduates over the period from 2005 to 2011. Overall, it is clear that the Portuguese graduation rate increased the most considerably. Meanwhile, despite consistently having the lowest rate among the three countries, Mexico showed a moderate growth of graduated students every year. In contrast, the percentage of high school graduates in Luxembourg declined moderately over the period reported.  
  
Looking at the graph more closely, one can see that Portugal's graduation rate had increased significantly from 54% in 2005 to reach its highest point over the period in 2009, which is approximately 95%, before a 10% drop in 2011. As for Mexico, the proportion of high school graduated students grew at a consistent rate (roughly 10%) every year, though it still lagged behind the others and having the lowest rate among three nations. It experienced a slow growth from 20% in 2005 to over 50% in 2011. Luxembourg, on the other hand, demonstrated a downward trend of graduation rate from 80% to 60% over the 7-year period, losing the lead to Portugal from the year 2009 until the end of the period in question.  
  
*
This is a 3 paragraph report. It is missing another paragraph to complete the analysis aspect. A problem that arose because of the lack of proper comparison considerations in the report. The writer knew exactly what information should comprise the analysis but did not know how to correctly utilize the data for maximum effect. He kept compressing data into single sentences where multiple sentence usage would have helped create 3 well developed paragraphs. Save for data reporting, no actual analysis is reflected in the presentation. There are also sentences where references are exaggerated, leading to redundant references. The writer must understand that by knowing how to divide the report into relevant sections, he can successfully meet the paragraph, reporting, and analysis requirements.
## International air travel has a negative impact upon the environment and should therefore be restricted.

  
***Do you agree or disagree?  
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.**  
  
Write at least 250 words.*  
  
Nowadays, in modern life, travel by airplanes or helicoptors become one of the most common transports in the world. Therefore, those transports give alot of negative effects to the environment. I disagree with this view because those problems we can solve it with the development of technology in the future.  
  
No one can deny the advantage by using air transports. It has changed the way people' traveling in the world. Firstly, air transports are really fast and the service in those transports is alway good. If people wants to go abroad or travel to a far distance, they can easily choose a comfortable flight instead of choosing public transports which are really slow and the service is not good as in airplanes. Next, not only carried human, air transports are also the fastest way to freight. It also comtribute very much to the develoment of countries. Secondly. air transports are also known by the safety. This transports are always been in rank 1 of the list of the safest transports in the world. That why people chooses airplanes or helicoptors become their transports when they want to travel somewhere.  
  
On the other hand, the disadvantage are air transports comsume a large amount of fuel and emit into the environment a big amount cabon emissions. Therefore, our health will be the first thing got effects. Moreover, CO2 when it turns to the atmosphere, it can change the stable of climate and causing the greenhouse effect. Big negative impacts to our earth.  
  
In conclusion, air transports are bad to environment is true and i agree with it. But with the fast develoment in technology nowadays, why we have to restricted air tranports when we can update it ? We already had electric car and electric motobike, why don't we can create electric air transports ? Just by changing fuel to electricity, the disavantage of air transports will be solved. For me, i believe to the development of technology so i disagree with this view.  
  
Ps: Pls help me check it and how much ielts points this article has ?
While the writer does have a problem with the proper writing of English sentences, these are not enough to confuse the reader. His ideas can still be well understood specially when he represented the original statement and his personal opinion. He remembered to present his opinion basis at the end, which resulted in a positive boost for an otherwise problematic score for that paragraph. This is the problem that the essay has within the overall presentation.  
  
He should not be using a proprietarial apostrophe when not indicating ownership. This is another problem that ESL students have when writing English essays. A lack of proper punctuation usage knowledge often lowers their GRA scores to the failing level.  
  
The second reasoning paragraph will not be scored because it does not support the writer's opinion. When a score does not support the writer's idea, it is considered a prompt deviation and results in the essay getting an overall score based on an under developed explanation. Both reasoning paragraphs must support the sole opinion presented in the writer's opinion and thesis statement.  
  
alot  
Incorrect word usage. This phrase is composed of 2 words: "a lot". There will be LR reductions included in the deductions.  
  
\*Scoring is done privately. Contact me for details.
Just a reminder I'm a student, not a professional teacher or instructor.  
  
First of all, the word "air transports" does not seem correct. Instead use AIR TRANSPORTATION or AIR TRAVEL. Secondly, the sentence structures are weird. You can try rephrasing some of the sentences like "it has changed the way how people are travelling in the world".  
  
I think one of the tips for better sentences is reading English books especially literature!
## ***The line graph illustrates the amount of spreads consumed from 1981 to 2007, in grams.***

  
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.  
  
Write at least 150 words.  
  
The line graph below compares the quantity of spreads was consumed over a period of 26 years.  
Overall, the amount of margarine and butter declined , while the consumption of low-fat spreads increased significantly.  
At first , butter was consumed the most ; however ; at the end of the period , the consumption of low-fat and reduced spreads was the biggest and seemed set to continue.  
  
In 1981, butter was consumed the most with the amount around 142 grams and the consumption reached a peak of about 160 grams in 1986. After this , there was a sharp decline .The consumption of margarine has a slightly growth from the beginning and till 1996 , the quantity of margarine decreased markedly. Low-fat spreads were introduced in 1986 and they saw a rapidly rise in their consumption from that time so that they were consumed the most in 2001.After 2001 , there was a steady downward trend.  
  
*
While the witter produced text above the word count minimum, he could have scored better if he had written at least 175 words over 3 paragraphs. That is where the scoring problem of this report lies.  
  
The summary overview is understandable even as there is a broken English problem with the sentence reference which affected the set- up in terms of GRA. The trending statement was also overdone to the point where report comparisons were being presented instead of trends.  
  
The analysis paragraphs are incomplete as the numerical data for each spread type is only partially used. All of the numbers should be part of the comparative report. Ups come with downs. Otherwise the comparison is confusing and of nouse to the reader in terms of information.
***There seems to be an increasing number of serious crimes committed each year. while some think the best way is to use the death penalty as a deterrent, many people believe that other measures will be needed.***  
  
## Discuss both views.

  
  
The number of serious crimes commitments has been increasing annual. It is considered by many that different solutions are needed to be taken into consideration. I, however, believe capital punishment is the greatest measure to tackle this problem as the more tolerant government's law is, the more serious criminals the society appear.  
  
On the one hand, there are various reasons why some believe that different solutions still work efficiently instead of carrying death penalty. Firstly, offenders will gain opportunities to become useful citizens if they are well-informed with moral knowledge through education in prisons. Giving wrongdoers a chance of rehabilitation is a special present for them to make a fresh start. Secondly, instead of introducing death penalty, psychological therapy is another effective solution because almost serious criminals do endure at least a psychological problem, which control their guilty behaviors. Once can be solved if the psychological barriers are overcome and thus, they gradually exhibit their humane behaviors.  
  
On the other hand, I would argue that capital punishment has a crucial role to play. If a killer is reintegrated into society, there will be a high possibility that they will commit crimes again. This is mainly because they will have more chances to meet their crews and plan for their next flawless crime commitments. As a result, the society's security is profoundly affected and considerably threatened. Moreover, people have a tendency to be afraid of being died and hence, they endeavor not to commit serious crimes. Therefore, the crime rate will be able to drop in the following years. As a consequence, implementing a policy of zero tolerance like capital punishment is the most powerful measure to punish serious criminals.  
  
To conclude, although people think that there are other solutions to solve serious crimes, I personally believe that death penalty can act as a deterrent because of its impacts, which are not only on criminals but also on law-abiding citizens.
The discussion does not represent the correct for this discussion. It only portrays the personal opinion of the writer, rather than the necessary public opinion explanation + personal opinion insight. The essay lacks balance, proper substance in relation to the public opinions, and, like I previously indicated, a proper pronoun based comparative discussion. The writer cannot decide to discuss the topic willy nilly. The writer must always provide an insight into the 2 public opinions through a correct and balanced public v. personal opinion consideration. Without it, the essay does not carry the correct balance of reasoning and analaysis. The writer cannot receive a passing score with this writing. Not when the essay does not use the correct comparative format.
**Topic:**  
***Some people think that hosting an international sports event is good for the country, while some people think it is bad.***  
## Discuss both views and state your opinion

  
  
In this day and age, there are conflicting views about the impacts of organizing global sporting competitions on a country. While some people believe that such events are detrimental to the host nation, I would argue that there are a number of merits that can be gained from those events.  
  
On the one hand, major international sports events present challenges that the host country has to counter. Specifically, if the government of the host nation tends to embark on an infrastructure splurge, then it must curb public spending on hospitals, schools, and a welfare state to help the poor. To exemplify, spending a huge sum of money on constructing stadiums for the 2014 World Cup, Brazil now suffers from a deficiency of money to deal with the coronavirus pandemic. In terms of the environment, there will be a huge amount of waste discarded from stadiums and arenas built, which has adverse influences on the surroundings and the residents.  
  
On the other hand, I am of the opinion that international sporting games are advantageous for the country. Particularly, such events might promote the economic prosperity of the country as the tourism sector can be potentially stimulated by attracting the influx of sports fans from all over the world. In other words, this is an opportunity to derive profit for hotels, restaurants, and businesses involved in sports merchandising. Moreover, it is a great chance for the host nation to gain global exposure and broadcast the culture of the country. For instance, since Sea Games 2003, Vietnam has been branded as a historic country with a diverse culture that broadens the impact of the nation on the global stage.  
  
In conclusion, although sports events come at the expense of a few immediate problems, the benefits of economic and cultural promotion are of utmost significance.
When creating the prompt restatement, the writer must always review the prompt requirement. There are 3 statement that need to be represented. The 2 public opinions + the personal opinion. He cannot state one public + personal opinion alone. He must represent both public opinions in the restatement as it was mentioned separately in the original prompt prior to indicating his own opinion. The prompt restatement is going to be scored as inaccurate in reference to the original presentation.  
  
The essay cannot be given a passing score since not all of the public views were discussed. The writer cannot be selective in discussion. His prompt deviation will result in the failure of the essay. His personal opinion may be merged with the public opinion he supports but he cannot skip a discussion of that public opinion in the correct manner in favor of just his personal opinion. That is not the correct nor expected response format.
## fruit production comparison

  
  
The line graph illustrates the production of fruit in four nations: France, Spain, Germany, and Turkey between 1970 and 2010.  
  
It could be seen that the amount of fruit produced in Spain and Germany observed a down string trend while the reverse could be seen in that of others countries. Additionally, Turkey took the initiative in producing fruit throughout the period.  
  
In particular, starting at approximately 5.5 million tonnes in 1970, fruit production in Spain rose marginally to a staggering 6 million tonnes in the next ten years before dropping gradually and hit the bottom at 5 million tonnes in 2010. Besides, Germany produced merely 2.5 million tonnes of fruit in the first year of the period; thereafter this figure decreased moderately by 1 million tonnes in 1990 and then stayed static until the end of the course, marking the lowest rate of the chart.  
  
At the beginning of the course given, the corresponding figure in Turkey and France were in the vicinity of 2 and 1 million tonnes, respectively. Subsequently, the former registered a relative constant rise to 3.5 million tonnes over a 40-year period, surpassing the fruit manufactors of Germany. Meanwhile, the latter increased slightly by 1 million tonnes in 1990, after which it continued rising to hit the top at nearly 3 million tonnes at the course end despite an insignificant rise between 1990 and 2000.  
  
*
The writer has included fake information in his report by indicating that  
  
Turkey took the initiative in producing fruit throughout the period.  
A thorough review of the image does not support such a worded claim as only numerical data is provided without any text based references. This makes the TA score inaccurate as a personal opinion does not factor into the report presentation. The writer has misled the reader in terms of data accuracy with this statement. Deductions will apply. Exaggerated claims are unacceptable in all the task essays.  
  
While the analysis is well presented, it is also filled with too much filler words that it is obvious the writer has focused the work only on achieving a good LR score rather than a balanced overall sectional score. Even then some word references are incorrect or do not exist in the English dictionary. The constant over-stretching of sentence information creates confusion due to difficulties in following / tracking the data report.
1. This is a run-on sentence as well as the phrase "it could be seen that" is not really suitable for writing Task 1 in general.  
~~It could be seen that~~  the amount of (...) while the reverse ~~could be seen in that~~  of others countries.  
  
2. These figures are from the past so you should be careful with the grammar "Meanwhile, (...) despite an insignificant ~~rise~~ between 1990 and 2000." **rise --> rose**