dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
## Environment protection and fuel price

  
  
These days, environmental problems are always the hot topic; hence, many ways have been suggested to tackled these issues. One of these is to increase the cost of fuel for cars and other vehicles. In my view, I completely disagree with this suggestion. I will be explaining my view in the forthcoming paragraphs.  
  
First of all, increasing cost of fuel won't put no pressure on the rich. Because they have abilities to afford cost, they would prefer to their private cars than public transportations. As a result, the exhaust decreased from the people who use public tranpsportations such as buses, trains, and so on instead of cars to save their money can't make a great impact on the environment problems.  
  
Moreover, the public transportations of some countries are not developed well, which causes inconvenience for using. Therefore, many people would rather go by their cars or other vehicles than public transportations, regardless of the high cost of fuel. For instance, in Vietnam, the buses or trains are not highly appreciated for many reasons such as the delays, the poor hygiene. Due to these disadvantages, the large of citizens choose to use their their private cars in daily living. In other words, even if the price were increased, people would still travel on a daily basis and the problems of pollution would stay unsolved.  
  
In conclusion, I belive that increasing the cost of fuel for cars and other vehicles to deal with environmental problems has many obvious drawbacks; and that some other methods should be adopted instead.  
  
I would be grateful for any responses
Do not confuse the IELTS writing tasks. The response provided here is incorrect because the format used was for an extent response while the requirement was for a simple response + 2 reasons presentation. The exaggerated response will result in deductions since it does not represent the expected response. The lack of establishing thesis introductions also reduced the paragraph accuracy score. Familiarization with proper and expected response formats are needed by the text taker.  
  
Avoid the use of contractions in the presentation. That is a bad writing habit which is frowned upon in formal English writing. Always spell out both words. Proper grammar also avoids the use of conjunctions at the start of sentences. Hanging sentences should not be found in the writing. There errors affect the grammar score since the writer does not know how to use sentence writing rules properly.
## Writing part 1: Waste disposal in one country

  
  
The two pie charts illustrate how different kinds of waste released in one country between 1960 and 2011.  
Overall, there was a significant growth in the proportion of garbage coming from food, wood, metal and plastics; meanwhile, opposite trends can be seen in the figures of glass, green waste, paper, textiles and other waste. Moreover, in 1960, paper waste accounted for the majority of waste disposal but this figure then experienced a steep decline and was surpassed by food waste in 2011.  
  
The share of food waste started at 12% in 1960, after which it enjoyed a pronounced rise to 21% in 2011. Same patterns can be noticed in the shares of wooden, plastic and metal trash with different extent. The percentage of wooden and plastic trash in 2011 was double those figures in 1960, reaching 8% and 18% respectively; meanwhile, the amount of rubbish made of metal trash slightly increased from 8% to 9% in the period.  
  
The rubbish coming from glass and green waste levelled off in the survey period, remaining 5% and 9% in that order. On the other hand, 25% of the total trash was made of paper in 1960, with a sharp decrease to 15% in 2011. In a similar fashion, fabric and other waste went down from 17% and 12% in 1960 to 11% and 4% in 2011.  
  
*
The topic restatement based on the existing images is insufficient in terms of reference. Yes, the number of images and types of images were correctly represented. It is the representation that was in error. Using the word "how" leads to a procedural explanation. There is no procedure indicated. So   
  
how different kinds of waste released  
is not the right way to go. Since the list is about waste materials, it should have been, " different kinds of waste material " or something similar instead. This error produced a task inaccuracy.  
  
An additional problem is that the years mentioned were not assigned to each image in the mention. The years are clearly assigned per pie chart. Therefore, the summary overview and trending statement is not one that properly and accurately represents the task.  
  
Same patterns  
different extent  
If a measurement has the same trend the extent / results cannot be different. The writer is showing signs of a confusing English thought process. This will result in GRA reductions.
## number of vehicles and co2 emissions

  
  
The given bar chart illustrates the amount of co2 emission and the line graph shows the number of vehicles in England and Wales between 2000 and 2020.  
  
Overall, the emission in 2020 was the highest, especially for car emissions. The number of transportations had increase significantly during this period of time.  
  
The emissions from cars was the highest in every year and it gradual increased from 20 tons in 2000 to over 25 tons in 2020. The truck and van emissions also witnessed a growth. The amount of emission from truck grew from 17 tons in 2000 to 18 tons while the van emissions slightly rose to 15 tons in 2020. In contrast, the emissions from bus remain stable all the time at around 9 tons.  
  
The number of vehicles increased from 20 million from 2000 to about 40 million in 2010 and reached a peak of 55 million in 2020.  
  
*
The writer has not made an effort to provide a complete summary and analysis of the 2 images. Had he done so, he would have written more than 151 words. The summary overview alone is incomplete in reference and incorrect in sentence structure. Why the writer chose to combine 2 different topics in one sentence is beyond me. Not a single linking device was used to showa relation between the 2 different image subjects. Even the measurement basis for each was overlooked creating a little informative summary. As far as trending statements go, this one does not present a well developed trend either. It is almost like the author has no interest in passing the test.  
  
The sentence structures are not well presented either. Problems with simple complex, and compound presentations abound to the point where the GRA score will be limited in consideration. An essay like this is the work of either a first time writer, in which care this review will help with improvements or, the student just does not care if he passes or fails the test. He just completed enough work for scoring consideration and not of the passing kind.
## earnings of pop stars and other musicians

  
  
Pop stars earn much more than classical music performers. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.  
  
With the outbreak of mass media, there has been an increasing in emerging pop stars coupled with their enormous income. Therefore, while some people reckon it is justifiable for these performers, the others find it arbitrary for the classical music ones. This essay will analyze both viewpoints and reasons why I advocate for the latter.  
  
On the one hand, that pop stars should earn a fortune may be reasonable. As several contemporary mainstream singers gain their fame through social media, they have to spend a great deal of money in marketing campaign. This, in practice, helps such performers keep their name known by the public during a short-lived career. A case in this point is Son Tung as this singer has channeled a huge budget into acts of building up and retaining his image as being stylish and trendy. Given that, he should deserve such fortune to make up for his investment. As it shows, current pop singers are justified for such income.  
  
On the other hand, I believe this practice fails to give the classical music artists an even-handed treatment. Since they underwent years of intensive training to be proficient in using instruments as well as performing skills, the professionals in classical genre should be paid at the very least on equal footing to the pop ones in their wage. This, moreover, could propagate a false notion that such contemporary singers have surpassed those versed in classical music. Beethoven, one of the greatest composers, had to face financial burden due to the low payment. However, it did not mean that he was much less prodigious in art compared to the newcomers. Thus, it is plausible for the those specializing in classical genre have such equal payment.  
  
For the reasons mentioned above, it seems to me that the classical musical artists should be deserved an income as equitably as pop ones.
The word usage of the writer tends to be on the side of incorrect usage. Specifically,the use of the words outbreak and arbitrary was misplaced due to meaning of each word which ran counter to what the writer was trying to explain. It is important for the writer to understand that he cannot make unfounded claims in the topic restatement as it affects the interpretation of the original topic. An inaccurate representation either by the addition or removal of a reference creates a task inaccuracy. The " is good.It tells me which side is supported. Opting to use one of the existing public opinions means that the essay will be comparing both sides based on the public and private reasons. That did not happen though.  
  
Reading the explanation paragraphs shows that the writer offers a selective discussion format. This means that out off 3 representation requirements, only one, the personal opinion, was properly discussed. Where is the necessary comparative discussion? Why should I believe you when the evidence presented is lacking? There should be a "They" VS. "I" and " They" with the additional support of "I" in each paragraph. These discussions should be based on the provided points of view.  
  
It is the lack of correct response format and development that could very well prevent the passing score of this essay. Those, along with LR problems are the points for correction in relation to this type of prompt discussion instruction moving forward.
## ***Today, fashion is becoming more and more important in choosing clothes.***

  
What are the reasons? Do you think the trend is positive or negative?  
  
It is true that in the modern era, fashion plays an important role when people are deciding clothes to wear. In my opinion, this phenomenon can lead people to negative ways.  
  
Due to the globalization and the growing technology, clothing styles become a significant part in our daily life. Firstly, the advertisements of chained clothing companies are posted on social medium or broadcasted via video platforms. So no matter which country they are from, people around the world can appreciate their trending skirts or t-shirts when surfing the Internet. Secondly, most organizations hire worldwide celebrities such as film actors, k-pop idols or famous athletes to promote their products. With the concern of these popular people, fans of them will try to imitate their styling and normal customers also will be influenced due to their fame.  
  
However, there are some negative impacts behind the global phenomenon. While more and more people's dressing style depends on fashion, the minority who don't chase the trend would be considered weird and are forced to change their wearings. Therefore, individuals in the society all look similar, and clothing loses the ability to demonstrate one's personality. Which may lead to the loss of the character of individuals. Moreover, teenagers refuse to wear the traditional clothes because considering them outdated and turn into the fancy wearing they saw on the TV. The traditional clothing which has been passed down from generation to generation may disappear.  
  
In conclusion, fashion is now taking over the customers' dressing preferences. I personally believe that the drawbacks of this trend can cause negative influences.
There are several problems that will prevent the prompt restatement and writeis opencon paragraph from meeting a passing preliminary score. Refer below for the detailed listing:  
  
1. The writer is verifying a truth when it is not a discussion requirement. He should not be adding statements unrequited or that are not in the orginal statement.  
  
2.He does not restate the discussion topic as expected.  
3. He responds to only one out of the 2 listed questions.  
4. There are no response reasons in summary form provided.  
  
These missteps will result in a failing starter score in the actual test. The writer should avoid these incorrect actions going forward.  
  
Avoid the use of contractions in these essays. Proper English writing skills can be incorrectly assessed when the writer does not follow formal writing rules. The use of contractions and English slang are frowned upon in this test.
## follow passion, success will follow you

  
  
It is true that the question of whether to learn favorite majors or focus on useful ones remains a source of controversy among students in universities. While a number of people believe that students ought to study those which lead them to a brighter future, I do believe that it is more essential to purchase individuals' hobbies.  
  
On the one hand, it is much of parents' orientation to advise their children to focus on the trendy subjects such as science and technology. It is easy to understand that many students tend to obey adults due to their mature experience and knowledge. As a consequence, a student who follows their parents' orienting major tend to pre-determine their career path after graduating from universities, this might reduce their time and effort to understand career market.  
  
On the other hand, I believe that pursuing what we like is much more crucial for our brighter future. Firstly, learning things that are students' favorites enables students to absorb knowledge more quickly. For example, languages has been always a difficult subject for every student. However, those with the talent and interest in learning languages tend to passionate in acquiring the essence of knowledge, this will definitely be useful for their psychological aspect in the long run. Secondly, nowadays, the career path has expanded with every kinds of majors and subjects. For instance, in the past 10 years, arts was considered to be the field with the least career opportunities. Such point of view has changed totally in this developing era, what makes us more surprised is art-related occupation has been one of the trendy fields that creates the highest salary. What we frequently say "follow passion, success will follow you" is absolutely correct.  
  
In conclusion, although both 2 views certainly have some validity, it seems to me that it is vital for students to study what are their favorites.
The essay failed to pass the test the very minute the irrelevant prompt restatement and opinion sentence was presented by the author. It has at this point become very clear to the examiner that the writer did not understand the question and topic basis in relation to the prompt. His lack of basic English vocabulary in relation to sentence idea presentation was also glaring in the opinion statement. The discussion went from science and technology to " purchasing individual's hobbies", a topic most certainly not related to the original presentation.  
  
A lack of proper comparative response format between the public and personal perception added to the scoring problems. The overall writing basis does not meet the Task 2 scoring considerations for a passing level.
## the valuable information

  
  
It is a common belief today that news media plays a vital role in our modern society. The aim of this essay will be to reflect on the reason why they are so paramount and the overview whether their impacts are advantagous or not.  
  
In the first place, news media can act as a prosecusor for us to get the triumphant . As we are living in the rat race, broadening our perspectives about the recent issues is essential to avoid being left behind. As a result, keeping up with the pace of life may contribute to the success of our life. According to the recent survey conducted by Melbourne university, 67,6 percent of the world population can access to a large amount of imformation which help them a lot in finding occupations with the handsome salary. Thus,news media are absolutely crucial in this day and age.  
  
On the other hand, there are various omnipresent tabloids and newspaper,... which often use the wrong to make the sensational news. They may spice the story up or reveal the untrue false with a view to attracting more customers. As a results, this may act as a catalyst to te readers. They can miscomprehend the issues which triggers the failure in grappling with them. In the covid 19 period, in India, There were many websites illustrates that the residents could avoid and overcome the epidemic by drinking dity water.Many Indian trusted the news and started doing which led to the serious problems with their health. Therefore, news media sometimes takes a toll on people.  
  
Despite the detrimental effects which the news media have, I am convinced to assert that the benefits outweigh the disadvantages, However, we need to sincerely consider before trust any information appeared on the media.
The writer has misunderstood the discussion question. This lack of proper question perception led to both a wrong opinion response and unrelated answer presentation.  
  
The question is "Are their influences generally positive or negative?", which should reflect a single opinion response based on one of the 2 given choices. It was incorrect to respond with a comparative advantage V. disadvantage reference. That was never part of the response choice. Therefore the essay cannot be scored higher than the basis of an unrelated response. This is a task failing essay as it does not answer the provided query.  
  
A passing response score can only be provided for answers that do not show a prompt deviation. This response alteration was most likely caused by the writers unfamiliarity with the various task 2 discussion question and response formats.
***Some people believe the aim of university education is to help graduates get better jobs. Others believe there are much wider benefits of university education for both individuals and society***  
  
## **Discuss both views and give your op**

inion.  
  
It is argued among people that either the university environment only intend to rise graduates' chances of getting well-paid jobs or it also can help develop a better community with well-trained grown-ups. In this essay, I will discuss both perspectives as well as clarify my approval of one of them.  
  
As for the idea that universities only connect to the future careers of students, there are many causes for it . One of them is the stereotype in most people's mindsets. Basically, the major part of them thinks that their fee for their own study in university should be worth the outcomes. Meanwhile, with the world being gradually advanced, they desired even more the determination from the educators' side that students can have stable jobs after ending their school years. As a result, everyone, especially the parents, becomes to develop a stereotypical statement that universities only have the duty to make themselves or their children take a right turn in their life with suitable jobs.  
  
Simultaneously, there are also many factors leading to the other group's belief of the society changing for the better with well-educated graduates. The most integral influence is the evidence of many succesfull celebrities inspiring their followers to change in some aspects. For example, Mr Dang Tran Tung, who finished his courses in university, and then has been making many English contents from his knowlegde. Consequently, it is making the number of English self-learners in Vietnam higher than the past, especially increasing the communication skills of the whole part of teenagers. Personally, I believe this is the true intention of universities as every individual, after graduation, can help change the society instead of just solely bringing benefits for themself.  
  
In conclusion, with the method of training the students, many universities are put faith by people for rising the students chances of jobs as well as making edges for the society and its members.  
  
In last few words, I would like to thank everyone who read my essay and help me improve in advance.
The restatement can be considered properly developed to the extent that the writer shows an understanding of the original topic. Although several grammar and punctuation errors exist in the paragraph, causing a lower score. For example, a possessive apostrophe was used when only a plural reference was required.  
  
When addressing this type of discussion requirement, the writer must make his opinion clearly seperate from the public perception. The writer did not use the correct pronouns to achieve this goal. The lack of pronouns and general discussion reference makes the essay appear to be one sided. An incorrect discussion perspective. Next time, use more pronouns and offer a personal opinions for both points of view. Use a comparative discussion paragraph format.