dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
Your essay will be scored less because you are adding to the discussion instructions that were originally provided. Every time you change the discussion instructions, either by adding or removing an instruction reference, you will get percentage deductions in the TA score. This essay does not ask for your personal opinion, yet you provided one. The parts of that essay that pertain to that discussion will be ignored and deducted from your final score. Your essay will end up being only 238 words, when only the relevant discussion points are considered. That means, a percentage of point deductions will be applied on your 335 word writing. Please remember to always follow the instructions. Proving that you can follow the discussion instructions will get you a better score than writing an irrelevant essay discussion.  
  
In this essay you should try to follow the following format for the 2 reasoning paragraphs:  
Sentence 1: Dis/Advantage topic  
Sentence 2: Explanation  
Sentence 3: Transition sentence  
Sentence 4: Connected Dis/Advantage topic  
Sentence 5: Supporting explanation that strengthens the 2 Dis/Advantages presented  
  
One paragraph for the advantage, one paragraph for the disadvantage, following the above discussion format will surely get you a better score than this presentation which does not follow the required discussion format.
@Holt  
Hi , i really appreciate it . Thank you very much . But in my writing , i am trying to show that i am discussing about disadvantages and advantages , as you can see the 1st paragrah is the first advantage , the 2nd one is the next advantage , the 3rd one is the disadvantage . Is it not okay to write like that ? Thank you very much and i hope that you will comment to my writing next time . Thank you!
## Revenue Sources and Expenditures of a USA Charity in one year.

  
  
The pie chart gives information about the revenue sources and the expenditures of the USA children's charity in one year.  
  
As can be seen from the graph, the revenue sources were more than the expenditures of about $336,000, of which, the majority of revenue sources was donated food but program services had a large portion in expenditures.  
  
When it comes to revenue sources, donated food was eighth as much as the community contributions with almost 87% compared to 10.4%. It is clear from the chart that the program revenue had a small fraction with just 2.2%. Investment income and government grants occupied 0,2% each but the other income had a small portion with 0.4%.  
  
As far as expenditures are concerned, a closer look at this pie chart revealed a significant majority with approximately 96%. Fundraising had a small percentage of 2.6%. On the other hand, the minimum expenditures were management and general with just 1.6%.  
  
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This is a 3 paragraph report, not a 4 paragraph report. How can you tell the difference? Look at the instructions and the image presented. Then count the number of topics you are expected to present and analyze. In this case you have to:  
  
Par. 1: Create a summary overview + trending statement  
Par. 2: Discuss and compare the Revenue Sources  
Par. 3: Discuss and compare the expenditures  
  
The summary overview itself is incomplete and does not give an accurate word description of the information provided. There were 2 pie charts ( you identified only 1), The type of measurement used (percentages), The content of each pie chart to be presented, along with the trending statement as the final sentence. This is one reason why the presentation you have given is inaccurate and uninformative to the reader.
## Bowen Island according to a survey of visitors

  
  
*The pie charts below show the most common advantages and disadvantages of Bowen Island, according to a survey of visitors.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.*  
  
The pie charts show the percentages of two most common advantages and disadvantages in Bowen island. It is clear that mainly the advantages are the people, and the disadvantages is the high cost of living.  
  
The majority of good things in Bowen is the people, with exactly 42%. The scenery is also a high proportion of the good aspect, at 35%. In shape contrast to these two sectors, culture and good accommodation is less percentages in the chart, with 12% and 11% respectively.  
  
We can see that the high cost of living in Bowen island is half the percentage of most common disadvantages in Bowen area, and second highest is the entertainment, at 25%. The weather and the food quality are a relatively small part of the entire sector, with the figures are 15% and 10% respectively.  
  
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Unfortunately, you have not written enough words to warrant a passing TA score in this presentation. You have to write at least 150 words within 20 minutes. You only wrote a total of 137 words, 13 words short of the minimum requirement. Appropriate percentage points will be deducted for the missing word count. Which means, your TA score will be failing from the very start. Add to that the conciseness issues of this report and you can truly understand why you will not be able to achieve a passing score. The main problem is that you chose to summarize the information as best as you could. While you were asked to summarize the information, it is also important to include a sentence or two within the paragraphs that shows an analysis of the images provided.All you did was report on the information, without any true analysis of the two images presented.
## The world's natural resources are being consumed at an ever-increasing rate

  
  
In our contemporary life, the overconsumption of natural resources has become a topic of concern. This alarming trend has a lot of negative impacts our world, so drastic actions must be taken to cope with this issue.  
  
Firstly, It is clearly evident that the increasingly high level of exploitation of natural resources cause damage to the environment. For instance, we have witnessed enormous floods in several region in Vietnam which swept away houses, eroded land and caused many deaths due to the deforestation. Not only that, it also has bad influences on the economy, due to the fact that the government have to spend much money and make an effort to rehibiliate damage after floods. Secondly, scientists claimed that the world's natural resources such as fossil fuel, water, and so on are limited, and the most obvious threat is that these resources will come to the brink of exhaustion. When oil becomes scarce and more expensive, transports and many daily necessity would become less accessible and affordable for most people. The shortage of resources also leads to stagnency in industry, for example, there would be not enough wood to manufacturing papers, furniture,... and not enough seafood for people's consumption. This may affect significantly the business of thousands of companies, as well as occupations of millions of people.  
  
However, some measures can be taken to tackle the issue of over-consuming natural resources. The most practical remedy is to lower demand for energy in every household. The government should carry out campaigns and use various media channels to raise public awareness about saving energy. Besides, alternative sources of energy from solar, wind, nuclear should be developed to reduce our dependence on fossil fuel. In addition, for instance, solar cells are now sold in a small quantity and at a relatively high price; they should be made readily available and cheaper for the public.  
  
To conclude, the overexploitation of natural resources may result in many serious consenquences, threating many industries and people's lives. Therefore, strong measures such as reducing energy consumption and altering non-renewable energy should be implemented to deal with this problem.
There are several problems with your prompt paraphrase and response paragraph. The first, is that you have not accurately represented the prompt information in terms of rephrasing the following:  
  
- The world natural resources are being consumed at an ever-increased rate.  
- What are the dangers of this situation?  
- What should we do?  
  
There is an unsuccessful outlining of the topic and answers, in topic form, regarding the questions asked. Therefore, the clarity of your paraphrase is not as evident as it should be. The topic was only slightly restated in a proper manner, and the 2 questions were not directly responded to in the paragraph. It is important to deliver direct topic responses as this serves to clarify your discussion points and also, helps keep you on track in terms of response paragraph development.  
  
Now, although you have written 350 words for this task, a number that you cannot complete during an actual test, you failed to deliver on the clarity of your explanation and the coherence of your discussion points. All of the content in your first reasoning paragraph are mere topic sentences, without proper explanation, examples, and discussion development. Therefore, that paragraph is severely under developed. Aim to always use only one clear topic that you can connect to the next paragraph you have to develop. While your reasons in that paragraph are good, the lack of proper explanation and topic development is what will hold back that paragraph from achieving a proper score.  
  
Then there is the problem of the connectivity of your solutions paragraph to the previous discussion. Since you had too many topics presented in the first reasoning paragraph, it is difficult to connect the solution you presented in the next paragraph. Without the connection between the two topics in terms of problem and solution, the solution paragraph does not serve a full purpose in the presentation. That is why you have to pick one cause that you easily connect to your solution paragraph.  
  
Finally, you need to focus on proper spelling, grammar, and sentence clarity in your presentation. These are the additional presentation problems that will prevent you from getting a passing score, even though you did your best to write as many words as you could within 40 minutes. Simply writing a lot of words, without editing them, will result in more errors on your part. That, is what you have to avoid if you want to pass this test.
***In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying.***  
## To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

  
  
It is the case that online documents and newspapers are becoming increasingly prevalent in today state of the art. While i accept that online newspaper is likely to replace traditional one, i believe that printed books still hold irreplaceable important values that make people pay for them.  
  
On the one hand, i would argue that printed newspapers will be replaced by their online counterpart. Firstly, since the communication technologies grow significantly, people today require news to be delivered at a tremendous speed which printed newspaper are incapable of having. To illustrate, the 2020 presidential election of the US government's status need to be updated continuously to show the comparable electoral votes, which is a feature that traditional newspaper lack of. Secondly, a normal people who can afford a regular Internet service could engage in reading news online without any payment barrier unlike printed newspaper. This paves the way for individuals experiencing a shortage of drives to purchase traditional newspaper, leading to falls in annual revenues and unaffordable labour cost.  
  
On the other hand, printed documents, especially books, have remarkable values. The first value is that printed books are essential items for book lovers and enthusiasts to collect, because these type of products have traditional and classic features. As a result, these individuals buying books not only to discover their content but also to display and organize them as a decoration. The second value is that although using ebooks become a common way to read, a rare range of electrical devices are designed for people's eyes to watch for hours without suffering any optical disorders. Therefore, printed books are still having advantages for long time usage with no prior charging require, and are still a versatile and comfortable items for people to bring when they hanging out ranging from daily work to abroad travel.  
  
In conclusion, while i accept that in the future the online newspapers can replace traditional one, i believe people will continue to use printed books and other type of documents.
You have over written the essay. You will do better by writing a clear 275-290 word essay that focuses on the clear presentation of a single extent opinion rather than over 300 words riddled with spelling and grammar errors. You read the instructions, you were asked to what extent do you agree or disagree. So you have to decide if you want to discuss the measurement of your agreement or disagreement, based on your knowledge and opinion of the given topic. You cannot both agree and disagree with the statement because this is a single opinion essay, regardless of the measurement reference.  
  
As such, you indicated that "I believe.." but failed to quantify the extent through an emotional description (strongly, fully, partially, etc.) and a reference to the 2 reasons for your opinion. The measured response with the added outline of the discussion paragraphs will allow you to clearly reference your opinion to the examiner, who can use the combined information to give you a better TA score.  
  
You cannot separate your opinion response between the newspaper and books in print because the original prompt does not separate the two in the presentation. These are partnered information from the essay which, when separated in the discussion / statement, creates a prompt deviation that could automatically result in the failing of your essay. The failing score will be based on your lack of clear understanding as to how the essay presentation was to be formatted for the written discussion. You have not properly restated the original prompt. Instead, you have created your own discussion parameters, not in line with the original discussion. This will result in a response that is not related to the original discussion, which means your TA score will be in the failing score range, making it more difficult for you to recover in terms of scoring consideration due to the other existing errors in your presentation.
## annual salary from different sports

  
  
The graph compares figures the salary players of basketball , football ,baseball sports between 1970 and 2000.  
Overall, the basketball is the most popular during in the period show. The number of salary players was slightly higher than that of football and baseball.  
  
The number of the salary players increased to around 150.000 in 1.000.000 dollars. By contrast, the amount of baseball and football was slightly lower than that of basketball . The basketball was sported popular over a period of 30 years from 1970 to 1990.  
  
Around 2000, the number of football decreased between 800 and 750 dollars , by contrast basketall was rose . Over a period of 10 years by around 100.000 to about 2.400.000 dollars , the salary will continute in the future. Not only the salary players climed but also baseball rose around 1.000.000 dollars.  
  
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What sort of graph is it? A line graph. Be specific. You will be presented with various types of graphs depending upon the task requirements. Part of your job, when summarizing the essay, is to represent the data in full detail whenever possible. That includes, a proper identification of the image provided. Based on your summary of the information based on the year on year presentation, you would have scored better if you had indicated that these information:  
  
... were collated over a period of 3 decades, from 1970 up to 2000.  
  
Why should you have worded the presentation that way? It would have helped show your ability to form more complex sentences and increase your GRA score. It would have helped with your LR score because you would have used intermediate vocabulary to form the sentence as well.  
  
However, the main problem with your presentation is not the format of the presentation but rather, the number of words in the presentation. You must always present a minimum of 150 words for the task 1 essay. You only presented 140 words in this presentation. Therefore, a word count deduction will be applied to your work, resulting in a lower than expected opening TA score. Why will the missing 10 words affect your TA score? The accuracy of your presentation is scored based on your ability to meet the minimum word count. So no matter how few the words, you still showed that you cannot form a data driven essay that meets the minimum word presentation requirement.
## provide the summary for the graphs

  
  
The figure of male and females who have studied full time or part time education in three periods is indicated.  
  
Overall, most male and female prefer studying full time to studying part time. At the beginning, the number of men who studied part time reached a lowest point in 1970 and 1971.  
  
In 1970 and 1971, about less than 200 thousands male studied part time while there were about 1000 thousands who studied full time. After that, the figure of people studying full time witnessed a slight dip by about 200 thousands to 800 thousands and oscillated between 800 and 900 thousands.  
  
On the other hand, about 700 thousands female studied full time in 1970 and 1971 leap slightly to 800 and reach a peak at 1100 thousands. When the amount of female who studied part time education increased minimally from about 50 to nearly 200 and fluctuated between 200 and 220 in 1990 and 1991. It seem that the amount of female was less than male's at the beginning but higher in final  
  
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Your summary overview is non-existent. Your identification of the image provided is not included, the important years of comparison, measurement type, and proper trending statement are all faulty. This essay is not off to a very good start. Your TA score will be in the failing level from the very start. Your TA score will be the basis of your overall score. When you start with a low to failing TA score, you cannot expect to get an overall passing score.  
  
Use the plural form of "thousands" when writing the numerals in word form. When you type out the numerals itself, you should use the singular version of the word presentation. You have used the word improperly in this instance:  
  
About less than 200 thousands = About less than 200 thousand  
  
Your essay contains several GRA problems and LR errors that show how badly you need to familiarize yourself with the basic English grammar rules. Learn the rudiments of sentence writing in English first, then attempt to write only simple sentences. You are stretching to immediately write complex sentences when you are not really capable of writing in that manner just yet.
help with my gramma and main idea of this topic.  
  
**Task 2:** ## Some people believe that it is the responsibility of the politicians rather than the individuals to reduce the environment damage.

  
  
This issue is a controversial which affects the daily lives of everyone. People usually take one side over the other, despite not having any idea about the subject. But in my case, I totally disagree that only the politicians should take this responsibility with my title statement reason below.  
  
First of all, the reason why I disagree with the title that only politicians should take this responsibility of reducing the environment damage is that I believe everybody has the responsibility to take care of environment pollution. Simply speaking, if we want to reduce the environment damage, we should start doing it by ourself instead of asking politicians to solve it by their own. Also, the environment damage now is too serious to be solved by only politicians.  
  
On the other hands, there are a variety of reasons why people hold the above argument. First, Some people might think that this is part of the responsibility of being a politician. For instance, they think if politicians want to win the election or to be supported by people, they should do somethings that can help this society to earn people's vote. Second, politicians can make influent easily, so if politicians can start doing it first, people who support him would likely to do it as well.  
  
In my conclusion, I would state my opinion to this issue after analyzing these arguments, It is truly that everyone should be aware of this issue and start making a move to prevent the environment damage.
Always restate the original topic in your own words. You are scored on your ability to understand and restate topics for discussion in English. You failed to represent the statement in your first sentence. You also added information about people taking one side over the other when no such implication was made in the original prompt. You will lose points for adding information to the essay. Your extent response is confusing and does not include a proper reference to the discussion topics to follow. This is a very bad restatement + response paragraph. I do not doubt it will get a failing TA score.  
  
What title are you constantly referring to? If you mean the topic, then you have to be creative and find several ways of restating it throughout the essay if you want to get a good LR score. You also confuse the discussion with such unclear word references, which will lower your C&C score.  
  
You should stop writing practice tests at this point. You are not yet ready. You should only be reading example essays at this point to help familiarize yourself with the various discussion formats related to the task 2 essay. If you continue to write using this format, you should not expect to pass the test.
## the various way to educate a child

  
  
There are various way to educate a child, such as send them to a boarding school, let them attend a day school. some people insist that boarding school is good for children while others disagree with this view. The question is which one is better for kids. I believe each one has its own benefits.  
  
We all know that many merits of boarding school have been proved. Firstly, children who go to boarding school have to do almost everything on their own, which make them become more independent and have responsibility for things they did. Next, for a kid, being away from parents sometimes means freedom. There's no one to boss them, make them do homework. Besides, no parents can prevents some unnecessary arguments. Furthermore, boarding school create stronger relationships. In other words, children live with their friends, share things, places, stories,... That could be a little annoyed, but after all it still worth it.  
  
What about a day school? This is where children go to study for a couple hour and then back home. Obviously, when kids are with their families, they will be taught not only at school but by parents too. They can feel love and be taken care of, and don't have to suffer from homesickness. Parents will hold their hand through the stressful process. And for those families struggling with financial problems, day school is absolutely a better choice, to compare with.  
  
Choosing the right educational path for children has never been easy. It's depends on both parents and children to decide what should be the best for their future