dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
## the devastated environment

  
  
Due to the prosperous development of tourism, the rate of people traveling around the world exhibits an upward trend over time. However, owning to this problem, it results in some negative impacts on the environment.  
  
Many countries rely on tourism to underpin their economy, which makes local shops and businesses more thriving. While tourists lead the detrimental effects on the environment at the same time such as water pollution, air pollution, and vandalism. For example, there is a famous country for its heritage and gorgeous scenery, Thailand. Because of the successful publicity from the tourism bureau, the local shops and restaurants benefit from a large number of travelers who come from all over the world, especially in the peak season. Unfortunately, some travelers not only throw the garbage randomly also damage the relics intentionally. In addition, a soar increasing demand for transportation attributes to traffic congestion, making carbon dioxide emissions much more than before. These problems let the government pay much cost in the preservation and encountering the dilemma between economy and environment.  
  
Nevertheless, these adversities can be solved and taken care of it. The government must take action.The legislative can introduce the legislation for the travelers, making the fine for throwing crashes or the behavior of damaging environment. Also, each local government can advocate the tourists taking public transportation to experience more local people's life. Furthermore, local tourism cannot be overexploited to attract more vacation goers.  
  
In conclusion, in spite that sightseeing can learn cultural differences and more cross-cultural communication with each other, as long as the environment be devastated in a long term and can't afford it, we have to pay the price to reconstruct.
owning  
Word choice error. Owning refers to possessing something. Owing, the proper word to use, refers to a cause or causes as in "because of" or "due to". The student has a problem with homophones that must recieve immediate attention to avoid the same error going forward. These sorts of word mistakes have serious negative word and grammar scoring issues.  
  
However, owning to this problem, it results in some negative impacts on the environment.  
Please provide a discussion topic response for each question next time to help you meet the discussion clarity requirements of the task. A summarized discussion at this point with the overall score.  
  
While tourists ...and vandalism.  
Incomplete sentence presentation. Opening the sentence with "While " indicates a reason or result of actions will be presented. There was no results presentation so this will confuse the reader due to the lack of reference clarity.
... randomly, but also damage the relics intentionally  
... government pay ~~much~~ {high, higher} cost in the preservation ...  
... can be solved and ~~taken care of it~~ > tackled  
...~~The legislative~~ by ~~can~~ introducing the legislation for the travelers and making ... **You have a nice vocabulary and the only thing I would recommend you is to be attentive and to spend 3-5 minutes after the essay to eliminate mistakes.**
Ow~~n~~ing to  
...detrimental effects to the environment  
'For example,... scenery, Thailand' --> Thailand, for example, has the former problem...  
not only throw the garbage randomly but also  
soared demand/increasing demand  
make the government pay ... and encounter~~ing~~  
and taken care  ~~of it~~   
... for the travelers, fining for  
Remove ''the government has to take action''  
  
Also, some sentence are a bit unclear
***Some people say that music is good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together.***  
## To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

  
  
Music undoubtedly plays an indispensable role in people's lives. Some individuals attest that music is an ideal way to connect with people from various backgrounds and ages. I strongly agree with this viewpoint, and this essay will shed light on my opinion.  
  
To begin with, every person listens to music regardless of their nationality, and since a variety of cultures are often interpreted through songs, the public will get to know more about other countries' customs. Especially in this era of globalization, music brings people in touch with diverse cultural backgrounds. For instance, more music from less-known countries has become renowned in recent years owing to the world being globalized. Moreover, artists in well-known music industry such as America are fostered to co-operate with overseas singers, which indeed popularizes their cultures to the worldwide audience.  
  
Furthermore, music has a massive capacity to erase the generation gap between youngsters and elderly. It is prevalent to see a number of songs mixed with classical and modern instruments which suit both the youth and senior's music taste. Moreover, these artworks tend to mention every matter of life in order to attract viewers from all ages. Nowadays, there are tons of albums that are well-rounded in featuring not only political but also entertaining sides. For example, fans of ''This is America'' come from different ages because the song serves seniors with political plots and adolescents for its catchy tune and melody.  
  
In conclusion, music is of paramount importance in having people from different groups of ethnicity and ages get along with each other due to its popularity and appropriate content. Therefore, I firmly believe that music should be promoted in every social platform.
***Scientists say that in the future humanity will speak the same language.***  
## Is it a positive or negative development?

  
  
In the current era that people throughout the world are becoming more and more connective to each other than ever before, scientists predict that in the near future, everyone in our planet is going to use just one general language for communicating. In fact, this development would introduce both positive and negative aspects, due to all of its benefits and drawbacks which have been brought to our society.  
  
On the one hand, the most noticeable advantage when it comes to the strengths is that people no longer have to learn foreign language anymore. Indeed, there is no doubt that were global residents to speak and share their information through only one method, there would be no need to add some other popularly-used ones like English, French or Chinese into the educational curriculum of school and university. Moreover, citizens coming from myriads of nations would be able to communicate even better and at a deeper level without any dependance on translating instrumentals or "language barrier" on a daily basis, which, to some extents, raise the comprehensive development of a diversity of industries such as tourism or co-operation, for instance.  
  
On the other hand, in terms of the opposite side, the risk of losing the variety of cultures should not also be overlooked, especially in an age that its role has already been raised by a multitude of countries. Needless to say, a majority of nations out there always consider their language as the soul of the whole people, making it an unchangeable position in their national and historical values. Undoubtedly, those countries are all proud of their traditional legacy and the born of an "one for all" language, paradoxically, would also mean that those conventional ones are likely to be eliminated.  
  
In conclusion, the trend shows effects on both sides which are all need to be taken into consideration. There are plus points regarding the convenience in communicating as well as the elimination of language barrier, but conversely, also some minus ones related to the corruption of traditional and national languages in the diversity of cultures.
this development would introduce both positive and negative aspects  
So which aspect do you support in this discussion? Remember, this is a single s discussion. Nowhere are you asked to "discuss both views" so that type of reasoning is not used in this discussion.  
  
benefits and drawbacks  
This is a totally different type of prompt and essay discussion. Do not confuse yourself. Use only the orginally provided discussion instruction. Altering the discussion will result in a failing essay.  
  
\* The student shows clear signs of weak English comprehension skills due to his confusing restatement + s presentation. He failed to connect with the original writing instructions  
  
An incorrect comparative discussion format has been used in the essay. Further enforcing the student's misunderstanding of the writing instructions and, creating the impression that he does not have a clear opinion based on the given guidelines. It is unlikely this essay will recieve a passing mark.
Hi, I need to give 2 feedbacks in order to make a thread in my own account so I came here. Although my writing skills are not top-notch currently, I need to say that this essay is good: no technical structures and memorized sentences, vocabulary is also enough to be precise and coherent. To make it better, I would give fewer examples or precise implementations of examples if you know what I am talking about, just I feel you did a great job to come up with examples and saying why the eradication of languages will be detrimental, but I think you went a little bit far, albeit it is better to be too precise rather than to overgeneralize.
@William Tran  
  
I think your writing has a clear structure and points presented in 4 paragraphs, which is really good. I can see your 'investment' for impressive lexical words, too.  
  
However, I have some contributive comments that I hope may improve your writing as follow:  
  
Firstly, as far as I research, it will be more highly rated and easier for you if you just pick negative or positive side (just pick one). But I think it's optional.  
  
Secondly, I can see the way you write and use words/ phrases may be a little eccessive. For example,  
"..." I would like to cut it down to "On the one hand, the most noticeable advantage is.."  
  
or  
"..." I would write "On the other hand,.." only as you already say *On one hand* in previous paragraph.  
  
Thirdly, I spotted unfit word choice such as "translating instrumentals" (-> translating tools), "the whole people" (-> human being).  
  
It's my opinion. Hope it will be useful to you :))
***In the future, nobody will read printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying.  
## To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?***  
(Write at least 250 words)  
  
The technological and digital advancement has brought about numerous development in human society and apparently, media - communication is not an exception. The swift popularity of televisions, computers, smart phones and other modern technological devices has switched people's habit of reading printed newspapers or books to reading online without being charged. In my point of view, this trend will increasingly be prevalent in the near future because of the advantages of easy access and good savings.  
  
First of all, reading online now is easier than ever when people can access to the latest news or updated books by utilizing smart phones or computers which are mostly must - own items for everybody. Comparing to commuting to bookstores, libraries or newspapers shops to get a real printed version, picking information online is much more convenient. Furthermore, by going online, readers are able to seek for specific information they need and even watch related videos or hear relevant audios, which is far more lively and enjoyable.  
  
In addition, the fee for accessing online newspapers now is almostly free of charge while people have to pay for traditional printed newspapers if they have needs for them. In addition, it also takes time and money for paper delivering and distributing service, which is somehow costly. For books, there are currently phone applications and devices for reading books online such as Google Books, Apple Books, Watpad or Kindle in which you can have access to many books with minimal costs compared to printed form.  
  
In a nutshell, online reading offers readers numerous benefits such as handy accessibility and low cost. I believe that this new form of reading will soom became prominent and gradually alter traditional printed books and newspapers.
this trend will increasingly be prevalent  
Prompt deviation. you are not responding to the given question which is,  
  
TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE WITH THIS STATEMENT?  
. Sadly, this improper understanding of the discussion focus shall result in a failing discussion compliance score. You cannot create your own discussion topic. You must provide a discussion in response to the given presentation at all times.  
  
While you will receive a score for the remaining sections, you cannot expect to be given a passing score when you have proven an inability to understand/comprehend English instructions. That is an automatic failure on your part. since the reverse paraphrase commits the same mistake, it is clear that this is a comprehension problem and not an oversight meant to be corrected in the end.
@Holt  
Thank you for your feedback.  
  
It's very helpful to realize the ambiguity in my answer to the given question whether I agree or disagree with the statement in the Introduction paragraph. I really appriciate your opinion.  
  
However, I think I made it quite clear in the following paragraphs that I agree with the statement with by 2 supporting points/reasons.  
  
Looking forward to hearing from you.  
  
Sincerely,  
Ranee  
  
@indah13  
  
Yep, thank you for your comment.
***Some people think history has nothing or little to tell us, but others think that studying the past history can help us better understand the present.***  
  
## Discuss the two views and give your own opinion.

  
  
A number of people opine that historical events do not play any roles in our society. However, a group of people has an opinion that learning history is necessary to understand our present days. In this essay, I will discuss both views and give my own opinion.  
  
On the one hand, many people believe that influences of historical knowledge are valueless in our modernized world because future and present seem more important. Past events already happened and humans cannot change anything, as a result they choose to focus on the futuristic goals. It can be seen that present and future are more crucial compared to the past. Moreover, it is historical understanding that cannot be the only approach to comprehend the current days. People can learn about each other and daily activity by observation and communication then come up with conclusion on the issue that they concern.  
  
On the other hand, in spite of the occurrence in the bygone time, in the main, history can be a good means of raising people's understanding of the current days. When Vietnamese residents are taught about what happened long time ago, they know reasons behind some specific habits of regional inhabitants in their nation. People from the North are more feudalistic and those from the South behave more hospitable. All types of understanding can be traced back thanks to the nexus between the past and present. The North had been conquered by the Chinese years ago and had a deep-rooted virtue about feudalism while people in the South of Vietnam have been introduced with diversity of cultures from European, Chinese and others. History has had noticeable impacts on every aspect of life nowadays in term of not only socio-economic cultural development also technology, military and more, invoking a deep comprehension about our ancient age.  
  
To conclude, although it is not so obvious that we can be conscious about our current time after being educated about history, I still believe that knowledge about the past can help us survive in this industrial age.
## the best way to solve the world's environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuel

  
  
it is sometimes argued about increasing the price of fuels is the world's environmental problem that needs to be under consideration. Although growth in fuel can have many drawbacks to international progress, this essay agrees that the price of fuel is the primary contributor.  
  
There is no question that the advent of modern transportation, as well as increasing number of population,, the factor about time-saving and safe travelling, is on the priority. As a result, the consumption of unrenewable sources leads to traffic congestion such as the greenhouse effect, air pollution, so on. Alternatively, if the government enforces the rule about cost fuel, the company manufacture products that change the direction of using alternative sources and simultaneously climbing the cost of products. This has a considerable impact on the poor and the vulnerable because they do not afford and burden their financial budget about travelling.  
  
That being said, it can see that the strict rule about cost fuel makes residents not reliance on fossil fuel. Furthermore, it is a chance for growing the consumption and technique of consuming and strengthen the dimension of renewable energy. Taking, for example, overload of traffic, a large number of gas and fume is exhausted from vehicles is the key reason making the quality of life more atrocious. It has evidence that there is a lot of disagreement and resentment without clear interpretation is boomed in many places in the world on the purpose of fighting against the ineffectiveness policy.  
  
In summary, although the side of protecting the environment plays pivotal part in our life but increasing cost is not main measure of saving ecosystem. In my opinion, this affair should be under careful consideration.
You have forgotten to respond to the primary question in the required format. An immediate jump to your opinion reason, rather than providing a proper extent response first, delivers an incomplete restatement + opinion paragraph. Therefore, the actual task requirement in relation to the discussion question has not been met. This paragraph instead, creates an alternate discussion point that is not related to the task with the following reason:  
  
Although growth in fuel can have many drawbacks to international progress, this essay agrees that the price of fuel is the primary contributor.  
This unrelated response fails to meet task requirements. It offers an unexpected response. Therefore, the discussion is an incorrect prompt response.  
  
,,  
Proof-read and edit. One punctuation mark at a time.  
  
the consumption of unrenewable sources leads to traffic congestion such as the greenhouse effect, air pollution, so on  
Unrenewable sources are not connected to traffic congestion, but could lead to the other 2 reasons. The sentence lacks competent reasoning and shows a problematic coherence discussion.  
  
Based on these 2 reasons alone, it will suffice to say that the essay is a non-passing piece of writing.
## (IELTS TASK 1) INTERNATIONAL MIGRATION IN UK

  
  
The chart illustrates the rate of immigration, emigration, and net migration in the UK from 1999 to 2008.  
  
Overall, it is clear that UK immigration and emigration experienced a rise over the period shown, but a much higher rate of immigrants in comparison with emigrants. Net migration peaked in 2004 and 2007.  
  
In 1999, the immigration rate was about 450,000 people, while the figures for emigration and net migration registered around 300,000 and 180,000 respectively. From 1999 to 2004, the number of people who immigrated to the UK rose by nearly 150,000 people. However, there was just a small growth in emigration from 300,000 people in 1999 to around 350,000 in 2002 before remaining at a similar level until 2004. Net migration peaked at about 250,000 people in 2004.  
  
After 2004, the immigration rate remained stable until 2008, while emigration saw a significant fluctuation. To clarify, the rate of emigration declined suddenly to over 320,000 people in 2007 before reaching plateau at over 400,000 in 2008. As a result, net migration increased considerably to around 240,000 people in 2007 before falling back to over 150,000 in 2008.  
  
*
from 1999 to 2008  
You forgot to mention the measurement used as a part of the summary overview. Always include that as this is often highlighted as a part of the image data.  
  
Overall, it is clear that UK immigration and ... in comparison with emigrants.  
This is a confusing sequence. pick one of the present or seperate the sentences, ideas to create a trending paragraph instead. Do not use both if you cannot provide a clear reason for it.  
  
Net migration peaked in 2004 and 2007.  
This is unnecessary when you are providing 2 trending sentences. Do not over-inform the trend as it gets confusing to understand and will cause grammar range issues for the examiner.  
  
in 2002 before remaining at a similar level until 2004  
You need a comma here. It appears that your problem in this essay is with GRA considerations.
## The provided picture dedicates the small-scale process in which the fish is smoked.

  
Overall, there are 8 main steps in this production. It starts with preprocessing raw fish and ends with delivering to consumers.  
In the first step, the fish is cleaned with a knife and then it is soaked in saltwater. Before being smoked, the fish is cooked for 5 minutes.  
  
In the fifth step, chefs use many wood vats in which there is smudging to smoke the fish. After being smoked, it is put yellow color to become more eye-catching. Following that, the smoked fish is packed in many boxes. Finally, those boxes are put in trucks and delivered to consumers.  
  
*
I cannot proceed with a full review of this essay as it will not recieve a passing score. The deductions are great when the writer provides less than 150 words in the presentation. Kindly remember that providing less than the minimum word count will prevent the essay from recieving a passing score consideration.  
  
Do not use caps Lock when writing the summary. Do notuse bold text either. Both are considered forums of writing disrespect equivalent to shouting at the examiner. Simply with the summary in a normal manner as the rest of the essay.  
  
Provide a full 3 paragraph presentation next time. One summary + trending sentence and 2 procedure explanation groups. That will help you meet all formatting requirements.