dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
## cooperation between people at a work place

  
  
Sometimes we are assigned to work in a group on a project. Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The group will be helped more by persons who will be willing to do what other group members want than by persons who often strongly insist that things should be done in a way that is different from what the group wants to do.  
  
Based on my observations, I strongly agree that a group will be helped more by persons who will be willing to do what other members want. In the following paragraphs, I will give more details to support my stance.  
  
First of all, a group highlights the working efficiency, and a person who is willing to do what other members want could be increasing the efficiency. For instance, John was my colleague in the cosmetic company two years ago. John tends to cooperate with others in the team because he identified with the efficiency was the first priority. Last year, there was an urgent case. The boss asked us to make an advertisement for a new lipstick in a month. It was tough because generally, we needed at least two months to do the job. However, all members decided to challenge the impossible task. John spent several nights to brainstorm and come up with a lot of ideas with us. When John had different opinions, he would communicate with other members and negotiate feasible plans. Finally, we spent only two weeks and finished the project of advertisement. On the contrary, if someone in my group did not cooperate with other members, we could not accomplish the task in such a short time.  
  
Secondly, a group needs cohesion, and a person who is willing to do what other members want could enhance the group cohesion. That is, those who like to do the same things as other members could make friends with and support each other. Take my friend, Amy, as an example. Amy participated in a volunteer program to help the elderly people in hospitals. Amy devoted four days a week to the club because she loved to join in the same activities with other members, such as mountain climbing. In a short time, Amy made a lot of friends at the club. Amy gave other members a lot of support as they had difficulties. Similarly, other members could listen to Amy's troubles and help her release anxiety. Finally, the group generated a strong connection with the members.  
  
To conclude, I support that a group would be improved more by persons who are willing to do what other members want. To be more specific, they could prompt working efficiency and group cohesion. That's why I have this kind of opinions.
Sufang, since this is an opinion essay that asks you to agree with a previously given statement, it is important that both facets of the opinion presented be discussed in your opinion. That way, you can show the proper strength and consideration that makes your opinion the correct one. In this instance, your essay would have been further strengthened if you had based your opinion on a comparison of how a team works effectively or not as effectively depending upon whether or not everyone on the team does their part and cooperates. By showing how a team fails when one member does not wish to do the same thing the others want to, your reasons for supporting the statement about a person who does his part to help the team towards success gains more importance and believability. As of now, this essay is good but too lopsided in reasoning which makes it bias instead of a fair comparative discussion of the prompts provided.  
  
Do your best to present your explanations in less sentences. Try to do it within 5 sentences because you need to prove that you can make yourself understood in English using direct explanations. You don't need to explain the whole situation to the reader. Just present the salient / important points such as the task of the group, the assigned task to the person, what the person did, the outcome of his cooperation. 4-5 sentences per paragraph should be sufficient in this instance and future instances of needing to present a sample as a reason within a paragraph.  
  
With only a limited amount of time to write this essay, you cannot afford to be too wordy as you still need to leave time for editing and revising your content for grammar and clarity. If you write too many words, you won't have time left over to do that and not proof reading your work could lessen your score due to the mistakes left on the page that should have been corrected.
Today more and more people are using mobile phones and computers. Thus, people are losing the ability to communicate face to face. To what extent do you agree or disagree?  
  
ANSWER  
  
## communication ability is decreasing

  
  
It is true that the chance to communicate face to face among people is lacking because of the over-reliance on electronic devices such as computers and cell phones. In my opinion, I completely agree with this idea.  
  
There are a variety of reasons why the utilization these technological gadgets frequently in current time is attributable to the lose of face-to-face communication ability. Firstly, individual time which is used to complete daily works such as communicating is definitely limited. If the individual time is spent excessively for accessing the internet or playing applications on smartphones, there will be a shortage of real conversations. Secondly, because of anything about current life is also shared through the Internet and mobile phones, people will have nothing to exchange when meeting their friends and family members. Instead of that, each of them chooses to keep his/her eyes glued to their modern gadgets while sitting together.  
  
Apart from the practical reasons expressed above, there are some different reasons which also relate to the reduction of the chance to communicate directly. One reason is that the availability of social networks such as Facebook, Skype with appealing emotional icons makes people feel it no longer necessary to talk in person but chat online instead. The more signing in the social networks, the less hanging out with friends and family. Furthermore, several people who overuse these electronic devices can face mental and physical health problems, especially headache and heart disease. As a result, they would not feel healthy enough to have a chart with their colleagues and finally they choose to stay at home.  
  
In conclusion, I believe that the increase of using these labour-saving appliances in today's life results in reducing the ability of direct communication.
Hi, here are some suggestions for your essay:  
  
It is true {when you say "it is true", you are already giving your opinion. So you are actually giving your opinion and then given it again. I think it is best to restate the prompt by stating this trend and acknowledging that people have different opinions about what it means, and then finish with your opinion} ...  
  
reasons why the frequent utilization of these technological gadgets ~~frequently in current time~~ in recent years is attributable to the loss of face-to-face... {"the loss of the ability to communicate face-to-face" is better, but your whole sentence is wrong - the loss of communication is attributable to the cell phones, not vice versa}  
  
Firstly, each individual's time ... daily tasks such ...  
  
If the individual's time is spent excessively in accessing ...  
  
Secondly, because any event or thought {try to avoid using "thing" or "anything" - be more specific and creative} aboutone's current life  
  
meeting ... members in person. Instead of conversation, each ...  
  
... as Facebook and Skype with appealing  
  
The more often people sign in to their social networks, the less time they spend hanging out ... Furthermore, a significant number of {"several" seems too few - like only 4 or 5 people in the whole world} people ...  
  
.., especially headaches and heart disease.  
  
... to have a chat with their colleagues and in the end they ...  
  
I believe that the increased use of these ... {"appliances" doesn't really work here - it means larger equipment like refrigerators and washing machines} in today's life results in reducing the ability to directly communicate.
## Parcels delivered by Federal Express and TNT Mail Services

  
  
The line graph given compares the proportion of parcels delivered betwee Federal Express and TNT Mail Services over the period 1920 to 2000. It is clear that both companies tended to increase despite the fluctuations it experienced. Fedex had the highest starting point but it was replaced by TNT at the end of period.  
  
To be spesific, standing as the highest starting level, Fedex saw an upward trend to reach a peak by nearly 24000 in 1940. However, this upward trend was suddebly broke up where parcels experienced an enormous drop hitting a low of 12000 and declined continuously at a level below their starting point in 1960. In contrast, TNT stood at roughly 5500 initially and climbed modestly to reach a little over 6000 in 1930. This was followed by another increase, altough much steeper, in 1960 when parcels delivered were almost reaching the similar level of Fedex in the same year.  
  
Furthermore, TNT saw a slight decreased in 1970, after which increased modestly to reach almost the same point in 1960. However, TNT rose dramatically surpassing the level of Fedex in 1985. While Fedex rose significantly in 1980 by about 18000 afterwards the figure dropped again until the end of period.  
  
*   
*Question. Ielts writing task 1*
Erin, you have mentioned the most obvious information to be found in the line chart. However, the information you presented is incomplete. There is an overlapping point in the graph. While this is the point where Fedex flatlined in terms of growth, this point should also have been reported as the area where the two companies had equal growth and client numbers during a given time. This is a minute point of comparison that could have helped create a better report on your end.  
  
In addition to that, your overall presentation is short by 1 paragraph. A fully developed IELTS Task 1 essay is required to have 4 paragraphs within it. You could have used the overlapping point I mentioned to create such a paragraph in this instance. Also, your summary overview is incomplete because you forgot to mention that the fluctuations being discussed were in terms of parcel deliveries. Always be specific. Specially in the summary overview where the pertinent information should be presented in terms of what it represents in the essay.  
  
You are careless when it comes to word development. You did not even bother to proof read the essay prior to submitting it here. Spelling errors such as the proper spelling for "specific" will affect the LR score. Then improperly developed sentences such as "was suddebly broke up" will affect both the LR and GRA score for this essay. Practice proper grammar and punctuation at all times. Check yourself before submitting for a grade. You don't want to fail based on avoidable mistakes.
***Question: The table illustrates the percentage of male and female in terms of weight in Vietnam from 1999 to 2009.***  
  
## Weight group comparison

  
  
The given table compares the proportion of underweight, normal-weight and overweight people between the two sexes in Vietnam. Data was recorded over the 10-year course from 1999 to 2009, and is presented by percent.  
  
Overall, it is evident that the normal-weight group was the prominent group within both sexes throughout the years. The proportion of overweight men constantly decreased, but not to the extent which the overweight rates of women did. Details are given below.  
  
For women, the percentage of underweight people generally remained static, at 28-29% throughout the years. The normal-weight group displayed an upward trend in proportion, rising from 43% in 1999 to 56% in 2009. The most significant change was shown in the overweight group, which almost halved over the course, from 28% to 15%.  
  
Men, on the other hand, showcased more subtle changes in weight groups. The underweight group, which accounted for the lower percentage than that of women, experienced a slight drop from 26% to 23%. The same pattern applied for the overweight group. The proportion of normal-weight people is the only figure that increased, though slightly, from 48% to 54%.  
  
*
Hi, here are some suggestions for your answer:  
course --> in my opinion, I think you should use word: "period". Moreover, I think you should combine the first 2 sentneces into new one sentence.  
  
the way you wrote is believed not as the best way to compare data. I think in the frist part of the body of your essay, you can compare the datas of men and women in similar term of normal weight. The second part is comparing in similar terms of under weight and over weight in order.
**The table below gives information on consumer spending on different items in five different countries in 2002.  
Percentage of national consumer expenditure by category - 2002**  
  
## Measuring demand for different products

  
  
The given table illustrates how consumers in five distinctive regions spent on three different categories in 2002, represented in percentage.  
As can be seen form the table, it is evident that food, drinks and tobacco were what people spent most of their money on; at the same time, the leisure and education category caught the least attention from them.  
  
It is noticeable that there was a great demand on food, drinks and tobacco, costing people 15% to roughly one third of their earnings. Although Turkey was the leading country in this category, Turkish also spent much on leisure and education and clothing and footwear, accounted for 4.35% and 6.63% in total expenditure respectively.  
  
At the same time, Italian paid more attention to the fashion category and spent the most among the five countries with exactly 9%. It seems that they had little demand on food, drinks and tobacco and this category occupied for only 16.36% of their expenditure. Whereas, Spain had the most remarkable patterns in how consumers spent - rather small amount of money on all the categories with the least spent on leisure and education - only 1.98%.  
  
I really appreciate your comments on what my writing lacks in and what I can do to improve. Many thanks!  
  
*
Mu, while you did write 192 words for this essay, you forgot that the proper format for the essay is that of a 4 paragraph presentation composed of one summary overview, one trending sentence, and a 3 paragraph report based on the supplied information. So for this essay, the correct format is:  
  
1. Summary overview with trending statement  
2. comparison of the 5 countries under F/D/T  
3. comparison based on C/F  
4. comparison based on L/E  
  
You can find a clue as to how many paragraphs you will be presenting for the report based on the division of information in the chart. Right after that, scan for comparison points such as similar percentages or equal percentages and when those occurred for reporting. If you don't see any, then you don't have to do that part of the report.  
  
Always enumerate the countries specified after saying "5 distinct regions." You need to create a complete summary report, which includes all of the necessary information that will be discussed in the later paragraphs. The country information is part of the important, required, and necessary summary information.  
  
You created run-on sentence in every paragraph. Remember, it's 3-5 sentence per paragraph in both the Task 1 and Task 2 essays. Separate the information into short to medium length sentences to represent simple and complex sentences. A run-on sentence is never going to be considered a complex sentence.  
  
You also need to familiarize yourself with how the natives of these countries call themselves:  
1. Ireland = Irish  
2. Italy = Italians  
3. Spain - Spaniards  
4. Sweden = Swedes  
5. Turkey = Turks  
  
Such proper referrals to the citizens of the country will help to increase your LR score because you will be using it in the proper context.
Hi everyone,  
I'm learning ielts at this stage but mostly by myself. I just wondering is my essay go off topic (i based on my own opinion, partly agree with the topic) or not and what band score would i archive.  
  
Thank you in advance.  
  
*Some people believe that people have the right to university education, and government should make it free no matter what their financial background. To what extent do you agree or disagree?*  
  
## Paying for knowledge and qualifications

  
  
Nowadays, an increasing number of people are concerned about their higher education. However, whether a government should make financial funds for everyone to study university programs is a controversial issue. My view is that not everyone needs to support from the government finance, only the poor need the help from it to go to the universities.  
  
On the one hand, it is obvious that it is not who also need studying higher education by the government's assistant. Firstly, to study in university, they need a great learning and a good faculty of thought and reason. That is because knowing degree of the universities is higher than the knowing degree of the general school. Therefore, f they do not have enough intelligence, they will not catch up with the knowledge. Secondly, the tuition is quite expensive, only the rich could pay for this amount of money. That financial burden makes low-income people who have a potential be stopped their studying career. Whereas the wealthy always have enough money for studying process, they never worry about it.  
  
On the other hand, the government assistant for the poor could bridge the gap between the rich and the poor. That means is everyone has a chance to study at the universities. For example, in Australia, the government creates many scholarships for poor students. After hard studying process, these poor students will become experts, they bring their knowledge back to the community. Consequently, the society gradually becomes more flourish and richer.  
  
In conclusion, for the reasons I have mentioned above, I strongly believe that the government should have financial funds to study universities for the poor. That makes our society become more balanced and wealthier
Tien, you need to familiarize yourself with the various types of Task 2 essay question formats. These questions require a specific type of response for every instruction given. For this essay, you were being asked for the degree of your agreement or disagreement on the given topic. This is not a conversational opinion discussion. This is an academic debate where only one side needs to be provided in the discussion based on given instructions. You approached this from a regular opinion discussion rather than an academic debate so you did not properly address the prompt requirements. Even your paraphrase is off the mark because you did not do a mere restatement of the prompt but instead, offered an immediate discussion of the topic. By the way, avoid using exaggerated terms like debate, controversial issue, and similar terms. The IELTS Task essay is always a discussion, nothing more, nothing less.  
  
For your reference, the proper prompt paraphrase for this should be:  
  
*There are members of the public who believe that a college education is something that everyone should have the opportunity to have. They also believe that the government should provide this without charges regardless of the student's ability to pay. I disagree with this opinion for a number of reasons.*  
  
An extent essay is not the same as a comparative essay. All Task 2 essays are single opinion reasoning essays unless you read the instruction "discuss both points of view" in the original prompt instruction sentence. Therefore, you reasoning in this essay is not compliant with the requirements for this task. If this were an actual test, you would only get a partial score based on the portions of the essay that adhere to the prompt instructions.  
  
Being a reviewer who is self-studying, you will be doing yourself a favor if you review the other sample Task 2 essays at this forum. This will help you become familiar not only with the topics that might come up, but also the various ways that the essays are discussed. You will also learn a lot about how to properly approach these essays by reading the advice given to the writer for his improvement. Use the knowledge you will be learning by applying it to your own essay interpretations of the same or similar topics and instructions.
Hi 4rum, im a new member. pls help me fix and mark my essay. my targer is 6.5 writing.tks for your help  
Motorized flight is the greatest invention in the modern world. No other invention has had a more significant impact on our lives. Do you agree or disagree?  
  
## best invention of mankind

  
  
With the tremendous development of modern life, the appearance of enormous amazing inventions enable mankind to touch their hands in incredible dreams such as fly in the sky or travel to the universal. Whether or not motorized flight is the most wonderful invention which affects all activities of human is spark off a heat debate. In my opinion, I completely disagree with this statement.  
  
It is undeniable that planes had a significant effect on human life. The emergence of airline brings to people a much more promising future, where a massive number of commercial trading conveniently occur, the foreign economic relations rapidly developed without geographical barrier, or students can travel to anywhere they want with the aim of widen their horizon. Series domestic and international flights are the backbone of economic, culture and society development of each nation. Besides, airline is safest traffic line in the world with 2% accident in total flights.  
  
Moreover, we have to admit that there are a massive number of marvelous invention in many field which help to enhance people living standard, not to mention motorized flight. For example, in medical industry, in 1873, doctors and researcher together found out a vaccine which can eliminate measles virus out of the body, or in chemistry field, the Mendeleev periodic table lead people to have a deep sight and expertise knowledge about elements around us. Another instance, in term of information technology, Internet and computer has became an irreplaceable part in our daily life which allow us to do from simple things such as talking with friend or ordering some new clothing easily and immediately to huge things like exploring space or adapting to information explosion age.  
  
In conclusion, it is more accurate that motorized flight is one of best inventions of mankind. Each invention is a cell in body, a part in machine and a miracle things in the human life.  
  
tks you