dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
## It is important for all towns and cities to have large public outdoor places like squares and parks

  
  
In busy society, people have heavily stress, they release their stress by doing outdoor activities hence it is significant for all towns and cities to have large public places like parks and public places. In addition, there are lots of tourists will come to visit these places. In this essay, I will discuss this issue and explain why I agree the following statement that is important that the government should provide large public outdoor places.  
  
Firstly, people can have outdoor activities and release their stress in public places. Science research, outdoor activities are conducive to people who have lots of stress, there are lots of benefits for residents. For example, I run at the park after work every day. I like to think lots of think when I'm running, and sometimes I get a new idea from scene in the park. Therefore, the public places can help people not only relax also have good thinking in the park.  
  
Secondly, many visitors will come to visit parks and some large public outdoor places, consequently, the country can promote their infrastructure by tourism earning. It is a good recycle to the community, improving the region and have a better life. For example, tourists like to go to New York to visit central park, it brings lots of benefits for stores which are located at there. In addition, stores can donate money to the community, and use money to decorate streets and central park. Therefore, it brings lots of profits between the community and residents.  
  
In conclusion, I agree that is crucial to have large public places and parks, these places are significant for residents. Afterwards, people may satisfy with these places because they can remove the bad mood at there.
Do not begin the discussion of your opinion in relation to the topic in the prompt restatement + opinion presentation. This paragraph should only contain your version of the original prompt (1 sentence), your opinion (1 sentence), and your thesis statement (1 sentence) for a total of 3 sentences in the prompt introduction paragraph. The minute you present your opinion in this paragraph, the examiner will score this section based on prompt restatement inaccuracies as you are already altering the original presentation. It no longer contains the original elements of the discussion in the section that requires it. If you must present your opinion, do so in the last part, in the form of the thesis statement. Not a full discussion, just a topic reference.  
  
I like to think lots of ~~think~~  
Word usage error. You think of a lot of THINGS, not think. Perhaps this was a case of mistyping on your part since think and things are similarly spelled. Be careful when typing and always review your work for proper word referencing to avoid word usage deductions.  
  
places, consequently, the  
Punctuation error. There should be a full stop, a period between the words since Consequently indicates a different topic from the first one. One sentence, one topic is the rule. Seperate different topics per sentence.  
  
Aside from these errors, you did an acceptable job of presenting your reasoning discussion paragraphs. Just remember to be more careful with your grammar and word usage. These are the sections where your errors were spotted in this essay. Make sure to avoid the same mistakes going forward.
*Writing topic:  
**The older generations tend to have very traditional ideas about how people should live, think and behave. However, some people believe that these ideas are not helpful in preparing younger generations for modern life.***  
  
## To what extent, do you agree or disagree with this view?

  
  
ANSWER  
With the striking developments in various fields, humanity has experienced remarkable changes over the past several years. Therefore, the norms of lifestyles, attitudes or behaviors in the gone-by days are thought to be incompatible with youngsters in this modern world. Personally, I am in favor of the above statement as the reasons following.  
  
To begin with, on the grounds of the strong transformation of society, some outmoded customs have gradually lost their relevance in the life of young generation. In fact, the world is ever-changing in every aspect of life leading to enormous differences in social viewpoints in each era. Accordingly, numerous prejudices of the elderly are now considered irrational. For example, decades ago, the majority of individuals had a strong aversion to and even vehemently opposed the LGBT+ community or hobbies such as tattoo and piercing. However, nowadays, these topics are commonly seen as normal thanks to the growing priority of human rights and cultural interference.  
  
With respect to career, the young can hardly succeed if only traditional methods are applied. Indeed, before the advances of technology and automation, when most tasks were done laboriously, hard work was highly valued. Nevertheless, in the context of digital era, the keys to success such as diligence of predecessors become outdated. Instead, proactiveness and independence or skills namely computer skills or organizational skills, which were previously overlooked by older generations, are now regarded as factors in achievements.  
  
In conclusion, for the aforementioned reasons, I hold a firm belief that old ideas on mindset or behaviors are not helpful in preparing the new generation to face a modenizing world in most of the cases. Alternatively, the young should get ready to embrace the changes of the new era. (285 words)
Personally, I am in favor of the above statement  
The question was , "To what extent?" The extent is missing in this response. You should have stated the "firm belief" in the opinion sentence first, prior to restating it in the conclusion. It is important that you refer to the correct response format in the first paragraph because you are being scored in the accuracy of your response. Keeping it till the very end means that you will not receive full scoring considerations for your response in the first half of the essay, and will only receive a partial credit for referring to it in the concusion.  
  
for the aforementioned reasons  
There is a reason the last paragraph is called the reverse paraphrase. You cannot just mention "the aforementioned reasons", these need to be repeated in short form within the concluding summary. That is because this paragraph is meant to summarize the body of reasons that you provided, in relation to the topic. I wish you had done that properly in this section so you could have recieved a full score credit for the section.
***Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible.***  
  
## DO YOU THINK THIS IS A POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE DEVELOPMENT?

  
*Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.  
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.*  
  
In many countries, since technology are becoming more and more easy to access with cheaper price, many adults start working from home, and also, their children, beginning to study at home with their parents. In my view, this is a negative development which can bring prolonged consequences with not much benefits.  
  
First of all, only staying at home while working or studying could cause health problems, which are mental issues and physical health. To clarify, humanity need social contact to co-exist, and that is also true with children and adults. Without meeting with their colleagues and students, it's likely for a person to deal with bad emotions like depressions. Additionally, as people need to use phones and computers while doing their job. Those technological devices could be detrimental to your eyes, back, and other parts of your body. As a consequence, these harmful effects will put a big strain on not only people but also the society as a whole.  
  
On the other hand, working and studying remotely can leads to low quality in action. Some principal problems of this may include frictions at home like noise, household chores, with full sources of frustration from your house. Secondly, despite the increasing growth of technology, they still have drawbacks including low internet bandwith or lack of interaction, which can affect the ability of concentration and overall performances.  
  
In conclusion, besides lots of advantages we achieve from technology, it is also true that this development is a backward move and should be considerably changed to alter the situation.  
  
Thanks for spending your precious time with me.
since technology are becoming more and more easy to access with cheaper price,  
Wrong reasoning. This question tests your knowledge of current events. How you relate the pandemic, Covid - 19, and its aftermath in the workplace and school system would have been the more appropriate reasoning for this discussion. However, since this is just the opening paraphrase, you need not present your reasons in the restatement. You only need to restate the original topic, without your thesis reasons yet. The reason should have been a part of your opinion presentation. By presenting your opinion this early, you accidentally altered the topic presentation and discussion basis.  
  
On the other hand,  
Incorrect transition phrase. You cannot say this because you have not changed your point of view. You are still prsenting supporting information in relation to your opinion. The correct transition word would have been "Additionally" to indicate supplementary information.  
  
Please note that you indicated a cheaper price in your prompt restatement, yet you did not mention this again in the reasoning paragraph. This creates a disconnection between the opening statement and the rest of the discussion. These 3 sections must always relate and create cohesive discussion paragraphs. The reasons must always help build up the correctness of your opinion.
**Topic Title:  
*Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well*.**  
  
## To what extent do you agree or disagree?

  
  
It is believed that nowadays the youngsters should be encouraged to engage more in community work, and this would be beneficial for both teenagers and society as a whole. Personally, I completely agree with this statement.  
  
To begin with, participating in more voluntary work would bring young people various benefits. First, they could learn more social skills or soft skills such as communication skills or problem-solving skills, which would be extremely helpful for their life or future career. For example, by experiencing volunteering activities, many students have applied practical skills such as time management in their studies, which may lead to good results at school. On top of that, the youth are less likely to spend hours wasting time in front of the screen. Take me as an obvious example, after I had joined a volunteering club at school, this helped me limit the use of social media to only 30 minutes a day.  
  
Furthermore, it is undeniable that society would have long-term benefits. More and more voluntary engagement of adolescents could also create valuable services, which help the needy by providing them with food and clothes. Additionally, this trend may strengthen the relationship between teenagers and the community because the youngsters would know the importance of helping others. As a result, many high schools are organizing more voluntary clubs in order to give their students more chances to experience volunteering.  
  
To sum up, it seems to me that social work without pay would offer advantages for both young people and communities.
should be encouraged to engage more in community work  
There is a difference between ordinary community work and free community service. The difference is basesd on remuneration. Ordinary community work allows the youth to receive some sort of honorarium for their participation. Free community work does not. Your reference did not differentiate between the two. The original prompt was clear about this. It is free community work. Additionally, you did not rephrase the term community work in your presentation. You should have used synonyms in its place to show how well you understood the term and your ability to restate the same in your own words.  
  
Take me as an obvious example,  
You did a good job of connecting yourself to your social media reason. However, there should have also been a reference as to how you became a better member of the community because you mentioned that as a reason in the first part. An example that shows how you contributed positively and learned something from it would have been a perfect example.  
  
Save for these 2 observations, I would have to say that you understood and discussed the topic very well with several relevant examples. This will be a passing essay in an actual test format.
## units of electricity production in France and Australia

  
  
The pie chart compares fuel source Aus and Fra in terms of their electricity output in units between the year 1980 and 2000.  
Overall, there was a significant change in the units of electricity produced by fuel source of two countries shown on the graph. It is clear that the year 2000 witnessed an upward trend in the total production of Fra and Aus.  
  
Looking at the chart in more detail, in 1980, the amount of electricity produced by coal in Australia was double that in France, 50 units compared to 25 units. The electricity output produced by coal in Australia witnessed a significant increase from 50 to 130 units over a period of 20 years. Meanwhile, this figure for that in France remained stable at 25 units.  
  
From 1980 to 2000, the electricity produced by nuclear power surged by 111 units, exceeding all other sources which remained unchanged. This growth made the total production in France doubled, 90 units compared to 180 units.  
  
*   
*.*
Please do not abbreviate the names of the countries in the images. Specially when these abbreviations directly affect the clarity of the report presentation.This is highly frowned upon in academic writing. It should never be applied to formal reports such as the task 1 writing requirements.  
  
As there are 4 charts in the presentation, it is incorrect to refer to the image in singular form. These must be described in plural form. Kindly rvivien your grammar lessons in relation to numerical references.  
  
The summary overview is confusing in presentation. The first error is in the image reference. It changed from a pie chart to a graph. The second problem refers to the lack of reference to the trend across the related images. The trend should refer to 4 trends. One per image, creating a trending paragraph in the process.
## junk food tax

  
  
In today's busy world, having meals at junk food stores seems to be a conventional eating habit for many people who do not have enough time to enjoy meals. However, it is undeniable that consuming too much fast food causes a significant detriment to our health. In my perspective, the authorities should put a high tax on fast food in order to boost individuals' healthy eating habits.  
  
The primary reason for this is that unhealthy substances are expected to be harmful to people's systems if ingested in large quantities. In other words, fast food is believed to be the main reason leading to obesity due to a large amount of oil and sugar in fast-prepared products. Moreover, people, especially nowadays teenagers, are prone to diabetes, high blood pressure and some psychological issues such as distress or feeling starving all the time. Recent research has shown that people in the USA, which is claimed to consume the largest amount of junk food in the world, are getting overweight six times faster than other nations. American Scientists also suggest that individuals should maintain a healthy diet to ameliorate health issues. What can be seen from this is that health problems will get more acute if people eat fast food too often.  
  
Another reason is that the tax coming from the fast food industry could be used to build the state health care systems for the community. To be more specific, the government holds a notion that it is the most effective way to utilize the lucrative income from the tax because the more state hospitals are constructed, the more people have opportunities to enjoy free treatment. In various European countries, a lot of health care systems are built by using money from fast food buyers to create a quality chance for impoverished citizens. Nevertheless, I also claim that the high tax from unwholesome substances could be paid for not only state hospitals but also charity purposes. It is inferred from the passage that tax should be collected to use for advantageous purposes to the community.  
  
To sum up, it is a should for the government to put a high tax on the fast food industry in order to inspire a wellbeing lifestyle and use it for positive reasons. It is recommended that mankind should have a healthy diet by eating more veggies and stop ingesting harmful junk food.
The prompt restatement is nowhere near the actual topic of the original prompt. I understand that the author was trying to be creative in his rephrasing but, he failed to do so. Rather than delivering a prompt topic accurate restatement, the thoughts presented highlight the writers reasoning opinion instead. Something that would have added to the score if it had been presented in the 2nd or 3rd paragraph instead. Kudos on your creative way of agreeing with the increased tax stance though. It was a unique and will receive a positive scoring consideration.  
  
The health issue concern in the first reasoning paragraph is only considering the medical consideration. There needs to be a connecting mention of tares and its relevance to the health discussion. Afterall, tax is the foundation of the discussion. All reasons need to circle back to taxes.  
  
I was reviewing the prompt and there was no inference as to how the tax was to be spent upon collection. That is a severe prompt misdirection that will carry a heavy score deduction. Avoid such errors by reviewing the original discussion instruction, and make sure you stick to it.
***Most high-level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 percent female. Companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women.***  
  
## *To what extent do you agree or disagree?*

  
  
It is observed that several renowned organizations are headed by men, although women account for half of the workforce in distinct developed nations. Women usually face trouble with promotion in companies, so that I strongly agree with the notion that there should be a fixed percentage of positions allocated to women.  
  
To begin with, almost all women are more loyal, honest, dedicated to what they are responsible for than men. Specifically, there is no surprise that enterprises prefer female employees because they can take the deadline seriously and ensure to meet them. Besides, women are known to be more creative. Nowadays, a new trend is observed in some advertising agencies which have seen a rise of women in creative roles in an organization. For instance, some of the positions that require creativity in company such as copywriters, planners, etc are responsible for women. However, the statistics also show that these ladies are usually headed by a male, who runs the work, takes the awards and promotions.  
  
Women also play an important role in the family's finances. Currently, working mothers contribute to the financial resources of the household, or they also use their salaries for children's education. Moreover, many women have become the main source of income in many houses, especially single mothers or those who are divorced. If these women were denied to get the opportunity to have fixed positions in firms, they are not capable of raising their offspring or paying for living expenses. Thus, women should have a chance to get a job to support their families.  
  
In conclusion, it seems to me that organizations should have a solution for this phenomenon because women tend to have a great impact on the workforce and the family's financial burden they have to cope with.  
  
*I'm so grateful for spending time for me*
Women usually face trouble with promotion in companies,  
Do not present your personal opinion in such a direct manner yet. It should be the last sentence in the statement. Fill the second sentence with your question response first, followed by your reasoning / thesis presentation. Then the task would have been appropriately formatted. The opinion topic reasons are always presented last.  
  
etc  
Non-academic word usage. This reference was not really needed in this presentation. In fact, it is never used in any academic writing paper. Avoid such empty references as these do not add to the relevance and content of the statement.  
  
To begin with, almost all women are more loyal, honest, dedicated to what they are responsible for than men.  
The discussion in this paragraph does not circle back to the basis of your reason. That of women losing out on promotions even though they work harder and better than men. Compare the work ethic of both genders in this paragraph to prove that women should represent half of the powerful offices in a workplace.  
  
Women also play an important role in the family's finances.  
How is this relevant to their promotion trouble in companies? Both your reasons are not cohesive in the sense that niether represent a defense of your thesis statement. There is no connection between the writer's reason and his defense explanation. These need to relate to promotions, which was the center of the writer's thesis statement.
***Topic Title:  
In many countries today increasing number of people study at university. Students, who will probably earn higher than average salaries after graduating, should pay for their own higher education, rather than state.***  
  
## What are your views?

  
  
Nowadays, the number of pupils who enroll in colleges has become higher and higher than before. An abundance of governments endows very high money to facilitate candidates implementing tertiary education. Some people claim that pupils who certainly receive wages above the averages should pay for their school fees instead of the government. From my point of view, I disagree with this notion for some reasons behind.  
  
First of all, the government is the sponsor, not the payer. The currency is used to endow to those pupils today will become the best investment in the future. We all know that a strong country is operated by talented individuals. The scholarship is never given to the worthless one. If students desire to gain the scholarship, they will have to show that they are worth to be invested through their scores, projects, and knowledge. As the result, the scholarship only belongs to the well-deserved person. Paying tuition fees for candidates does not only support them to complete their studies but is also equipment aiding the government to seek genius.  
  
In other perspectives, funding in school fees could allow poverty pupils to have opportunities to keep on their studies. As we can see, university tuition is not small finance that all of the families have enough ability to send their child to. Moreover, taking student debts helps students realize the value of money, so they will have more effort on the learning process to gain the best achievement.  
  
The bottom line, as an ungraduated candidate I feel like there is no negative effect if the government endow in the tuition fees. As I mentioned above, the government is just a sponsor, not the payer. We would have this support if we were deserved it, if not, we would have a loan that we have to pay back when we found a job.