dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
## Working Independently or on a Team

  
  
Soft-skills are non-technical skills that are relate to how you work, how you interact with colleagues and how you become successfully. In this case, working in groups is believed and demonstrated to be more and more efficient than working by yourself because of its time-saving and skills-providing benefits.  
  
As you know, the power of community is always stronger than that of an individual. In a team, each number is in charge of a certain part while a single is responsible for the whole task. As a result, working together's workload is not as much of that in working alone as well as the working procedure is being shortened.  
  
In addition, working in group is not only sparing in time, but also improve one's professional competence. Each member get an opportunity to strengthen his or her cooperation capability, leadership skill and problem solving ability. Moreover, listening to others' point of view and summarize their contributions can widen knowledge and provide one's experiences.  
  
In conclusion, working on groups proves to be more useful than working individually for notably three noticeable reasons. This soft-skill is an effective and powerful way to learn and achieve success which everyone needs to equip in daily life.
If this essay is for an IELTS writing task 2, then it must have at least 250 words. Yours has only 200 words so I think you should add more ideas.  
  
But if your essay is for other purposes, I think it is ok to have a 200-word essay but here are a few mistakes associated with your grammar that can cause you to lose points.  
  
In the first para,  
- ... skills that are relateD to ( You should use an adj here instead of a verb)  
- ... how you become successful~~ly~~ ... ( You must use an adj here too, instead of an adverb)  
In the second para,  
-As a result, working together's workload is ... ( I think this sentence is a bit confusing. You can change it to: Working procedure will be shortened and the workload will be much lighter when people cooperate together to do the job.)  
  
In the third para,  
- In addition, working in A group ( you miss an article before a singular noun here) is not only sparing in time..( sparing in time is a bit strange to me, why don't you use time-saving instead.)  
  
In the last para,  
- In conclusion, working ~~on~~ in groups proves ...( Working on groups is incorrect.)  
Overall, I think your essay is too cursory. This may cause you to get an unwanted score in school exams or other tests.
I assume that this is a simple English writing exercise based on the discussion format presented. The main problem that I see with your writing is that you are making too many assumptions, or you believe that your reader is properly informed about the topic, when in reality, the reader has no idea what you are talking about. Your overall presentation did not help to properly inform the reader either. You lack information in every discussion paragraph that would have helped clarify things for the reader. These missing information has made the essay confusing to read, leaving the reader stressed about the information being presented.  
  
In this first paragraph, the second sentence refers to; "In this case". What case is this? You first referred to soft skills, which is a topic for discussion. That is not the reason, which would be the reference for "In this case". Do you see why that presentation does not make any sense to the reader? You have to connect the topic, soft skills, with the "case", to create the connection to "working in groups". Otherwise, there is no sense in the presentation.  
  
What does a community have to do with soft skills? A team can exist in any form. Soft skills more often than not refers to a vocational profession. So the community reference is incorrect. Soft skills refers to a profession within which a person is not depended on acquired knowledge, such as a college education. You are becoming less and less comprehensible by the paragraph.
**IELTS Task 2 ESSAY**  
  
*Write about the following topic.  
**Some organisations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance.  
## Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

  
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.  
You should write at least 250 words.***  
  
**--- my essay as follows ---**  
  
An organisation when interviewing a candidate for a job role they often test him/her on the basis of how the candidate presents themself and their skills to decide whether the person best fit the job requirement. This essay discuss about an organisations believes on employees to dress smartly or value quality of work over appearance and will be in favour of latter.  
  
Firstly, when an organisations wants their staff to dress smartly, the main reason behind this is that it helps people feel more confident and gives a sense of responsibility towards work. Employee who do not dress properly indicates lack of intrest and especially when it is the leads or senior management it gives out a message of unprofessionality and it might directly impact the work and the growth of an organisation.  
  
On the other hand, some argue that the quality of work is more important that dressing smartly as quality in work and its outcome is what which brings customers or users to the organisation. Hence helps in achieving an organisation goals. Dressing comfortably helps the employees to work with concentration and for extented period of times.  
  
In my opinion, dressing smartly should only be a chooice not mandatory and I believe quality of work has greater importance over appearance.  
  
In conclusion, even tho dressing smartly help some employees in differnent ways without quality it will become difficult for an organisation to grow consistently and achieve it's goals.
The first paragraph contains a full sentence of information not related to the original information presented. This created a prompt deviation on your end, which means you changed the discussion topic of the original presentation. You will find scoring deductions applied to your essay because of it. The last sentence, is a direct cut and paste of the original discussion, which means this paragraph uses cut and paste phrases. This essay will receive an automatic failing TA score due to these errors.  
  
You have not used any pronouns in the general discussion of the 2 reasons provided. Therefore, you are not appropriately meeting the GRA scoring requirements in terms of sentence structure and person reference (pronouns). You also lack the minimum sentence requirement for each paragraph. You need to present between 3-5 sentences in each presentation to meet the paragraph requirement.  
  
Your personal opinion is the worst presentation in this essay. You failed to properly discuss and justify your reasons. You have a severely uninformative, improperly referenced, and undeveloped discussion. That sentence alone is enough to garner you an overall failing score for this presentation. Since you only wrote 431 words for this essay anyway, it is guaranteed to get a failing score. After all, the minimum word count is 250. Overall, there is nothing in this written presentation that meets the requirements of a Task 2 essay.
## [Writing task 1] International migration in UK

  
  
The graph illustrates immigration, emigration and net migration rate in the UK from 1999 to 2008.  
  
Overall, the rates of immigration and emigration in the UK rose between 1999 and 2008, but the figures for immigration were significantly higher. It is clear that the net migration rate was positive over the period shown and peaked in 2004 and 2007.  
  
In 1999, over 450,000 people came to live in the UK, while the number of people who emigrated stood at just under 300,000. The immigration rate rose sharply in 2004 and peaked at 600,000 in 2006. However, the emigration rate saw a decline in 2007 before increasing to the highest point of about 420,000 people in the next year.  
  
The net migration figure was about 180,000 in 1999, and it remained at a similar level until 2003. The UK net migration reached a peak of almost 240,000 in 2004 and 2007 before falling back to 180,000 in 2008.  
  
*
There is only one image presented in this discussion. Therefore, the presentation should be completed over 3 paragraphs. You do not have enough information to present that would benefit from a 4 paragraph presentation. The insistence on creating a 4 paragraph format left your summary overview incomplete and underwhelming in presentation. You failed to provided pertinent information in the summary section, which would have had a direct effect on your TA score.  
  
Missing from your summary overview are:  
- References to the title of the chart (Long- Term Migration, UK, 1999-2008)  
- Measurement type indicator (Thousands)  
- Proper graph identification (Line graph)  
  
Do your best to use a uniform sentence number presentation in your paragraphs. You must present a minimum of 3 sentences, which is the minimum requirement for an academic writing paper. Your summary overview and third paragraph do not meet these minimum requirements. So your TA score, based on your word count, does not meet the maximum scoring possibility for your presentation based on the TA requirements.
## IELTS task 2 advertising is successful or not

  
  
Some argue that advertisements are very successful in convincing people to make purchase, while others think that they have become so common and people are not affected by them. Although the repetition of adverts can be annoying and make people ignore them, I believe that advertising is an effective way of promoting products as they have become more creative.  
  
people nowadays see adverts everywhere especially in the media which is irritating and makes visitors ignore them. This is because advertising agencies try to bombard people with a lot of adverts and brainwash them by doing it repetitively. This is a common technique taken by many companies but since this method distracts people's concentration from their work or study, the majority of people stop paying attention to them. For example, based on the data released by TV channels in 2019, the number of visitors of channels that broadcast too many adverts repetitively decreased by nearly 40%. However, I believe that advertising is still a successful technique because of using creative contents.  
  
On the contrary, advertising agencies use innovative ways to influence people successfully. That is to say, business owners now try to find new ways to garner people's attention in their adverts. They use images that have aesthetic features for those who tend to gravitate towards beauty or use persuasive contents that can be informative for different group of watchers. For instance, environmental concerns is a main issue for most of people and trying to create a connection between buying a product and its positive impact on the environment in an advertisement is a creative way to encourage people to make purchase. For this reason. I think advertising is a powerful way in markets.  
  
In conclusion, while receiving many ads from different sources can make people feel annoyed and refuse to pay attention to them, I believe that creative methods that are used to target people with different attitudes is the reason why advertising is extremely successful in the promotion of products.
There is a lack of comparative discussion in relation to your point of view in this presentation. While you managed to give an accurate restatement of the original prompt, all the way to the presentation of your opinion as a part of the discussion outline, the reasoning paragraphs are improperly formatted. Since you have decided to offer a personal point of view, rather than give an opinion of each reason originally provided (which would have presented you with a higher overall score), the you should have clearly indicated public discussion paragraphs first and second, then your personal opinion third, or last.  
  
Each reason has a specific public opinion attached to it in the original prompt. You restated these in your thesis statement. So your paragraph discussion should have shown this discussion topic with an explanation based on the general consensus. Such a discussion format would benefit from the use of third person references (they, them) for the public point of view, and personal pronouns ( I, me) as a part of the GRA scoring consideration (under the grammar usage and sentence format accuracy consideration). It would show that you understand how to use English grammar rules. The current format, without the use of pronouns, make it seem like you are presenting solely a personal opinion throughout. There is no separation of discussion representatives (public, personal) within the presentation format. Which means the reader will not be clear on who is actually speaking or being referred to (personal opinion?) throughout the presentation.  
  
The concluding paragraph is not effective in summarizing the presentation because you have made it too long. There is too much going on in one sentence. Each sentence has to have a specific purpose in the summary. So divide the thoughts into a proper mix of simple to complex sentences. Otherwise, the presentation idea becomes difficult to keep track of. You still have to represent the original topic and discussion points, before repeating your opinion. This is not a single opinion essay after all.
## How Advertising Affects Consumers

  
  
Currently, advertising is all around us with positive and negative effects, especially on consumers. There are many positive effects of advertising on consumers. First, companies want to improve their sales, so they use advertising as a means of distributing their products. Advertisements give a lot of information about the products such as price, function and instruction. When consumers have all the essential information, they will make decisions to buy, which makes companies more expansive. Equally important is that advertisements with great visuals will appeal to customers, which satisfies their shopping desire. In addition, this will help boost the country's economy. On the other hand, advertisements also have negative effects. One issue is that advertisements use misleading strategies to encourage people to buy unnecessary products, which can also have quality. This always tends to create negative feelings because products do not meet their needs. Another issue is that advertisements can cause distraction to people from what they concentrate on. That can reduce their productivity and the quality of work. By and large, advertisements have pros and cons. It can help provide numerous useful information but can alsao bother us with bad things.
This essay requires several paragraph bodies to be considered fully developed and accurate in presentation. Your prompt representation is a single sentence, without any supporting arguments for the claim being made. There have to be at least 2 reasons. One for the positive and one for the negative. That way the succeeding paragraphs will have a foundation for its discussion.  
  
A separate discussion should have been used for the positive effects. You could use up to 2 related positive/ negative reasons for advertising in individual paragraphs. One topic for the advertiser and one topic for the consumer presented in the same thread. Develop those positive / negative effects in a manner that shows the positive/negative relationship between advertising and the buyer, you should be able to do that in 5 sentences. Your positive / negative discussions only state reasons without any supporting statements for your claims. That makes the reasons appear to be without merit. If you do not develop a convincing explanation for the positive / negative arguments, then you are not informing or educating the reader in the proper manner.  
  
If you wrote this essay for a Task 2 writing test, then you would have failed the exam overall. If you wrote this only as an English exercise, then you did well enough in expressing your English thoughts. However, you need to delve deeper into the discussion, even for a grammar exercise, to help you develop your English vocabulary and writing skills.
***Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later. Some people think that inviting these people to talk to school students is the best way to tell them about dangers of committing a crime.***  
  
## Do you agree or disagree?

  
  
Exemplary residents who had been serving in the prison, are invited to deliver speeches in front of institutions in order to teach the students not to commit crimes in the future. While many people criticised that this is the worst idea to educate children, I strongly believe that the talks between these two particular groups of human beings will benefit youngsters and society for several reasons.  
  
Firstly, many individuals argue that teaching drawbacks and dangers of illegal activities for pupils is definitely a wrong offer if the presenters were put in jails. Specifically, these individuals had many deviant thinkings and behaviours in the past and their aberrant ideology is able to exist deeply and permanently in their minds. Even though they are trained to talk with the girls and boys at the schools. Nevertheless, it is totally possible that the students are failed to be trained and they may have a sense of excitement to go through the crimes. For example, many children are in the habit of aping the casts of the habitual criminals on action films, they may imitate and conduct exactly every dangerous scene in the real life, as a consequence.  
  
In contrast, there was no longer any doubt in my mind that the lessons, which were compiled with according to the experience of lawbreakers, will break a thoughtless mindset of young people about criminal acts before it has happened. Particularly, when learners in institutions go through extremely terrible emotions by listening to what the habitual criminals have experienced in the previous time in prison, these kids will be scared to think about sins. As a result, the percentage of kids who sin in the future will fall down steadily. Furthermore, they will have understood and not impacted adversely by unwholesome entertainments or gangster films when they enjoy watching these programmes on television.  
  
In conclusion, new educational strategies are always a controversial debate topic because many people have mixed opinions about this. However, I confidently trust that the direct lessons from the people, who went to jail and become a solid citizen afterwards, will be the most effective source to educate little boys and girls well.  
  
I truly wish all of you and the educational consultant @ Holt would help me check my writing.  
Many thanks!
Hello,  
Your essay is great but there are a few errors associated with your grammar.  
In the first paragraph:  
- "In fact, this helps workerS to pay attention highly ~~on~~ TO their duties."  
- "Supervisors and managers ~~are~~ worry that....."  
- "... hours in THE working environment..."  
In the second paragraph:  
- "... but blocking access~~es~~ to those websites ..."  
- " Due to the development of THE internet and social media networking, ~~it't~~  IT couldn't be ~~deny~~  
DENIED  
- "... ~~business man~~ BUSSINESSMEN to explore..."  
- "... advantages of social media~~s~~ providing ..."  
- "... and reviews appear~~s~~ just by..."  
In the last paragraph:  
- "... forbid their employees ~~on~~ FROM ..."  
- "In conclusion, ... is seen as a better way ~~not only helping ... spirit.~~ TO HELP INCREASE NOT ONLY REVENUE BUT ALSO WORKING SPIRIT.  
  
*That's all from me. I hope you will check your grammar more carefully next time. Bye.*
You are only expected to give a simple 4-5 paragraph discussion of the topic provided. That means, you have to write between 275-290 words. 250 as a minimum for the TOEFL test. For an IELTS test, that should be done within 40 minutes. For the TOEFL test, 30 minutes. You definitely cannot write an effective reasoning essay, free of grammar errors within either time limit covering 462 words. You are not writing a research paper, just a simple opinion paper based on personal information, public knowledge, or observations.  
  
You must familiarize yourself with how an English exam essay is formatted before you proceed with your next practice tests. While you have good reasons, examples, and discussions, your presentation is marred by the incorrect punctuation usage. It is already a common error among ESL writers to use a comma and ellipses one after another in a sentence presentation. You have to remember that is incorrect punctuation usage. You can only use one punctuation mark at a time. For example:  
  
*I said no, then I thought about it again that night...*  
  
The ellipses are better used in creative writing as these are used to convey a pause in a thought process, emphasize a dialogue, or heighten the emotion of a scene, none of which are applicable in academic paper writing.  
  
The reference "according to", means you heard the information from someone else and are relaying the same to your listener / reader. In this case, you are the primary source of the information so you cannot say "According to me" as that is incorrect grammar. Just say "In my opinion", which is the correct phrase to use to start off a personal explanation.
**writing task:  
## Many students now have the opportunity to study in other countries.

  
*Studying abroad may bring some benefits to some students, but it also has a significant number of disadvantages.  
Discuss both sides of the argument and give your own opinion***  
  
It is true that nowadays there is the ubiquitousness of studying overseas among students. Advocates of this trend claim that it offers various advantages while opponents assert studying abroad may cause some fundamental consequences. In my point of view, I believe that its benefit may eclipse its drawbacks.  
  
On one hand, it is true that students have to confront a wide range of problems when they live in another country. The economic burden is the first demerit. Studying abroad is associated with many costs including tuition fees, travel expenses, and cost of living, which may lead to student debt. Another issue students have to encounter is homesickness. Students are obligated to live far from their hometown when studying overseas. As a result, the state of homesickness always occurs affecting negatively their education performance. Moreover, they may hesitate to communicate due to the unfamiliar, this may harm their mental health.  
  
Having said that, I believe studying abroad delivers many benefits. Firstly, it may enhance the practical skills of students. Living in another country requires people to learn a new language for the sake of interacting with locals, therefore, ex-pats are forced to practice their language skills on a daily basis. As a result, they can reach a professional level in using the native language. Moreover, when students study in another country, they have to build their life by themselves, which promotes their independence, self-reliance, and maturity. Secondly, it would appear students who study in a foreign country have more job prospects. Having studied abroad, students have chances to experience a brand-new country with a novel culture contributing to developìng a more sophisticated worldview. This view helps them become more easily adaptable to situations requiring international interaction Based on the conducted research, eighty percent of the overseas students said that studying abroad allowed them to work in diverse environments. Needless to say, it is a great advantage regarding attracting employers, especially in the globalized world nowadays.  
  
In conclusion, studying abroad contains both pros and cons. In my perspective, its potential benefits in terms of personal growth and career opportunities heavily overweigh its drawbacks. However, students who intend to study abroad still should have good preparation mentally and financially to confront unexpected situations  
  
I need some feedbacks and advice, thank you so much!