dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
## Different languages - the highest number of speakers

  
  
The table given has the data concerning about six different languages with the most native speakers.  
There is a striking point that Mandarin Chinese has the highest number of speakers with 1090 million people in total, even higher than the combination of the number of Hindi and Spanish speakers. In contrast, Arabic and Portuguese are the two languages used least, which have the figures recorded even under one-fifth of the number of Mandarin Chinese speakers.  
  
Another notable feature is that the number of native speakers is mostly higher than the number of speakers as an additional language in any category, except for English. 942 million English speakers include only 339 natives, the rest is non-natives.  
  
Overall, despite the fact that English does not have the largest number of speakers it is still the most common language used by most foreigners.  
  
*
Your explanation become less clearer by the paragraph. Your first paragraph, the summary overview, was quite good and informative. It was composed of useful information and gave an effective trending statement. However, the second paragraph lacks information. You should have a total of at least 3 sentences per paragraph. That way you can fully utilize the scoring rubic to your advantage.  
  
Since you wrote only 140 out of the 150 minimum words for this essay, I do not expect it to get a passing score in an actual test. You will have percentage deductions for the missing 10 words, which could have a direct effect on the ability of your essay to gain a passing score. Remember, run-on sentences are the enemy of an essayist. Avoid long sentences in order to give a clearer discussion and also,. portray more complex and simple sentences within the presentation. You are scored on that heavily in the GRA section. That score could spell the difference for you in the end.
Rubric: Some people believe that everyone has a right to have access to university education and that governments should make it free for all students no matter waht financial background they have.  
  
## To what extent do you agree or disagree?

  
  
In this contemporary era, tuition fees have been inexorably escalating, the affordability of higher education has always been a topic of interest. It could be argued that the regulatory authorities should abolish tuition fees so that all students could be entitled to attend tertiary education with a notion that their socio-economic background would not be an issue. Meanwhile this recommendation seems to be valid in a certain extent, I am somewhat convinced that waiving tuition fees could have an adverse bearing on both students and society.  
  
On the one hand, my advocate for why the government should offer students a free-college policy could be attributed to plenty of compelling reasons. On the idividual level, a host of students are able to take advantage of the excellent quality of higher education. This renders those who are bachelor's degree holders, especially the underprivileged to stand a chance of landing higher-paid careers as well as bettering living quality. On the societal level, the provision of a free-of-charge education is expected to imply a more educated workforce, which would give rise to the world to evolve into being more and more civilized as well as thriving.  
  
On the other hand, tuition waivers at the expense of beneficiaries as well. The labour market is more inclined to become drastically competitive. As a result, if there are multitudenous university graduates, the acquisition of a tertiary degree would not appear to give them multiple forms of employment. In addition to this, pursuing college without fees appears to be more detrimental to the growth and the expansion of society. The enormous cost incurred to cover the higher education tuition is going to pose a massive risk to government coffers, leading to an immense drain due to budget deficits, tax hikes or even worse, diminished welfare.  
  
In conclusion, the provision of a free-of-charge education does not turn out to be a bad idea. Nevertheless, I would contend that governments should not make it free for everyone.
Try to write within the 250-290 word count for this essay. You only have 40 minutes to complete your discussion and I am afraid that you will not have enough time to complete your writing in an actual test setting when you aim to write 327 words. You need to allot time for editing and improvements of your presentation. You cannot do that when you only focus on an increased word count. It will not work. Not within 40 minutes. As it is, this presentation has several spelling, cohesiveness, and coherence problems in the presentation that you failed to find and address during your writing process. Never write an essay and consider it complete and ready for scoring when you are done writing. That is only the start of the scoring process. You need to find your errors, correct them, or change them, just to make sure that you have the least errors left in the paper at the end of 40 minutes. That is how you score well.  
  
You should avoid using the comparative presentation for this essay because you are asked to pick one side, agree or disagree, to give a measured response to. A comparative essay makes it appear as though you have not made a decision regarding an opinion to support, which will lower your TA score. You need to pick a side and clearly define your reasons for supporting it within 2 reasoning paragraphs. Although you gave a measured opinion in the paraphrase, your actual discussion does not support that stance so you may have a problem with your final score in the end based on the error in response format and other mistakes I pointed out earlier.
The summary you are to provide is not only a run-down of the text, it is a summary of the information provided. You have to summarize the opinion in a manner that allows you to give a general discussion feel to the presentation. You don't just keep on telling the reader what the book contains. It needs to contain a reference to an analysis of the reading. I bet your professor gave you instructions for the writing of the summary. You should go have a look at the instructions and this time, write the summary based on the given instructions. Your summary isn't really that good. It sounds like you just threw something together to meet the class requirement instead of presenting your summary in a manner that shows what you learned based upon the provided reading material.
The first sentence in your presentation does not relate to education. Your statements, from the very start, should align itself with the given topic. In this case, that is education. Education overseas in particular. Your educational interest should be supported by a desire to learn about other cultures and communities. Your reference to students should direct the reader towards what reasons might interest a student to study overseas. Studying overseas is different from acquiring school overseas. Nobody acquires a school overseas unless they buy one. A student, goes overseas to acquire an education, not a school. Since you are writing your introductory statement, you should practice outlining your discussion points in the last 2 sentences. By outlining your discussion points, you will be able to add clarity to your explanation, since you will be giving the reader an example of reasons related to the topic provided.
IELTS Writing Task 2:  
***The consumption of the world's resources ( oil, and water, etc.) is increasing at a dangerous rate.  
## What are the causes and solutions?***  
  
*Answers:*  
  
Natural resources over-use is a challenging problem in today's world that need to be put into consideration. There are a variety of reasons behind this, yet there are viable measures to mitigate this resources over-consumption phenomenon.  
  
First and foremost, the advancements in technology, development and research in the contemporary era increase the exploitation of minerals and raw materials. In addition, a rapid and consistent increase in the population expands the needs for resources; as a result, the resources would also be excessively exploited for business purposes. Finally, the forest areas which are the source of valuable materials for medicine and food are being cleared for farming industries. This would lead to the extinction of many wild species and also responsible for natural disasters such as flooding and drought.  
  
Measures should be taken in order to deal with this severe problem. One possible solution is that the government should educate people with the sustainable use of natural resources. Furthermore, renewable energy such as solar and wind power can be explored more and utilized to reduce the dependency on fossil fuel which can also reduce the amount of toxic emission into the environment. Last but not least, conservation projects such as growing trees or Earth hour should be often held to spread the messages of natural resources preservation and raise awareness of people.  
  
To summarize, the depletion of natural resources is the human being's problem that needs to be resolved. However, it can hardly be solved by only the government's work. It takes a great deal of effort from both the authority and individuals.  
  
Please help me to correct this essay-big thanks.
@noilamsaohetday  
Hi, your second paragraph is just a list of causes of overconsumption, and the last sentence gives the consequences. I think better way would be to choose two causes from your list and explain them in details. You can fit it in 5 or 6 sentences. Your last sentence about the consequences is not necessary in my opinion, as the task did not ask about this.  
  
Similar problem is with the third paragraph, you list solutions without explaining how exactly they will help to solve the overconsumption problem.
Your paraphrasing does not come across clearly. What is the basis for the discussion? You should include the reason for the topic being discussed. The writing instructions should also be clearer to the reader. We should understand what the original discussion instructions are based on the represented information alone. That is not the case in this presentation. Next time you post the introduction, it would help if you could post the original presentation as well. That way I can truly assess whether your presentation is appropriate, lacking, or good enough to be used in an actual essay. As of now, based on this presentation, the grammar is really off. You need to keep practicing sentence construction. Let me show you how to fix this:  
  
*People tend to live in urban areas these days. They opt to do so due to the available job opportunities. While other people believe that there are equal benefits and drawbacks to living in the city, I believe otherwise. My reasons will be explained in detail below.*  
  
Again, I am not sure if this is the appropriate paraphrase for this topic. I just opted to show you an example of how your own presentation should have gone to help illustrate your grammar problems.
In the first sentence, you need to use a comma to separate the clauses (residents, but) otherwise the sentence structure is all off. You should try to use clearer references in the essay as well. Do not use extra words that are not really needed in the presentation (for all ~~of~~ the inhabitants...). You should also remember that when writing formally, you need to spell out the words. Avoid the use of contractions. Those are only used in informal writing. It is never used in professional or academic writing. I am not sure why you used the term civic life in this essay. I believe you wanted to refer to city life instead. Try to build your English grammar. Make sure to use the correct descriptive word in your presentations because the wrong word usage will result in penalties for you in an English writing test.
## Statistics of Asian projects

  
  
The number completed projects, projects under construction, and Inventory/Pipeline projects on the Mekong River in different countries.  
  
The bar chart shows information on the number of projects with 03 statuses, namely completed projects, under-construction projects, and Inventory/Pipeline projects, in 5 countries that are China, Thailand, Vietnam, Lao PDR, and Cambodia.  
  
Overall, the number of under-construction projects is lowest, while that of Inventory/Pipeline projects is highest.  
  
In terms of under-construction projects, the figure for Lao PDR highest, at 64, 63 projects higher than that for Cambodia. Meanwhile, there is no disparity in the figures for China, Thailand, and Vietnam, at 0.  
  
According to Inventory/Pipeline projects, the number of projects in Lao PDR is approximately five times as high as that in Cambodia, at 301 and 66 respectively, wheres the figures for Thailand and Vietnam are lowest, at 0.  
  
Regarding the number of completed projects, Lao PDR ranks first, at 65, followed by Vietnam and China, at 16 and 11 respectively. Besides, there is a significant difference between Cambodia and Thailand, at 2 for the former and 11 for the latter.  
  
*
I found some grammar mistakes in your essay, and I hope that my comment will be helpful.  
First, in this phrase " the figure for Lao PDR highest", you missed the verb, and in this case, it is "is".  
Second, in this phrase "wheres the ...", I guessed you meant "whereas", it might be a typo.  
Also, in the last sentence of your essay, you gave the wrong statistics of the figure for Thailand, it was 9, not 11.
The Task 1 presentation is normally presented only within 3 paragraphs. That covers the following:  
  
Summary overview + trending statement  
First information batch  
Second information batch  
  
You have over extended the format for no reason. Try to come up with a more compressed format for your data report. Your essay is actually harder to follow because you divided the presentation into too many sections. The idea behind the task 1 report is to show your summarizing capabilities. How well can you explain information received using the least number of words and sentences? That is why there is the minimum word requirement. That is also why you are limited to 3 paragraphs for the presentation, with 4 being a new accepted format, which does not really help increase your scoring chances. All your sentences are run on because you tried to write more paragraphs, with more information thrown in. The proper paragraph format is composed of 3-5 sentences only. This is an inefficient writing format that did not really help prove your writing ability to the examiner.
## the life cycle of the honey bee

  
  
The given diagram illustrates the life cycle of the honey bee that grows up and reproduces through various steps.  
  
Overall, six main steps are involved in the given process, beginning with a female bee laying one or two eggs every three days and ending with becoming mature bees, which takes around five weeks to complete.  
  
At the first step in the given cycle, female bees lay one or two eggs every three days, and these eggs are put in a nest. At the subsequent step, the eggs are hatched to become nymphs within ten days. At the next step in the given diagram, these nymphs molt three times to become larger with the body color changing that makes them become immature bees for sixteen days. After that, these immature bees spend four days growing up to become mature bees. At the final step in the given process, these mature bees reproduce eggs, and the cycle starts over again.  
  
*
## why agricultural land becomes less productive

  
  
The pie chart compares the important reasons for the decrease in productions in agricultural land, and the table illustrates three different geographical zones  
which affected by those reasons between 1990 and 1999. It is clear that over-grazing significantly causes globalization land degradation. We can also see that overall Europe lands were affected more than North America and Oceania. according to the pie chart, over-grazing and deforestation are the markable reasons that result in agriculture productions, with 35% and 30% respectively. The second main reason is over-cultivation, with 28%. only 7% of other causes impact on land degradation across the world. Looking at the table, we can see 23% of European lands were degraded in which it was the most degraded lands in the world. Oceania with 11.3% lost most of its land because of over-grazing that it was the largest amount of land that destroyed worldwide. While only 5% of North American lands vanished during the 1990s by three various degradation reasons.
## IELTS WRITING TASK 2. ESSAY THROW-AWAY SOCIETY

  
  
**Many people say that we have developed into a "throw-away society" because we are filling up our environment with so many plastic bags and rubbish that we cannot fully dispose of. To want a degree do you agree with this opinion?**  
  
It is argued that humans have been in a "throw-away" lifestyle. And it's become worst as we have been dumping a large amount of non-biodegradable rubbish. I find myself in complete agreement with this opinion for the following reasons.  
  
To begin with, there was a dramatic increase in the use of plastic bags. Those which are non-biodegradable will have existed a thousand years in our habitat. Therefore, a long time later, humans and other species will not have abode. More specifically, plants can not grow up with a large amount of plastic under the land.  
  
Furthermore, according to the nearest environment research in a reputable university, the number of garbage climbed exponentially including domestic, industrial, and medical waste. This situation makes an urgent issue for human society that effective and timely solutions to dispose of them. If not, it will become the main culprit of increasing environmental problems. For instance, many residential areas have been polluted air and water because their living locations are near a huge landfill.  
  
That is not to say that plastic bags just bring disadvantages to human life. People tend on single-use or disposable plastic because they believe that these items are cheaper, more convenient, and hygienic. However, the drawbacks of them causes are far greater.  
  
In conclusion, I would concur with those who believe that human effect leads to creating a "throw-away society" by filling up our habitat with so many plastic bags and garbage that we are not able to process all.
The essay is short of the minimum word count by 2 words. You have 248 words out of 250 words. Yes, there will still be a slight deduction of percentage points due to this. Nobody can expect to get past the percentage deduction for coming in under the word count. So be careful and remember to keep track of your words.  
  
Please remember to not use connecting words like "and" at the start of a sentence. If you want to use that word, then use a comma in the previous sentence after using "and". That way it will connect 2 thoughts into one sentence.  
  
Your paragraphs are not very well thought out nor developed. You should learn to outline your discussion process before writing. Don't just keep typing or writing and then hope that the paragraph will make sense, because it won't. You have to clearly connect your sentences using a clear writing process:  
  
Sentence 1 - Topic  
Sentence 2 - Reason  
Sentence 3 - Explanation  
Sentence 4 - Example  
Sentence 5 - Explanation to support the example  
  
Unless you can provide a clear discussion presentation based on the above format, or a variation thereof, your paragraphs will remain unclear to the reader.
**## Nowadays it is quite common for people to change jobs regularly.

  
*Why does this happen and how do people prepare for job insecureity?***  
  
I'm an IELTS student and this is my essay, feel free to advise!  
  
It is a trend for people to reselect their job from time to time in recent days as the world is changing fast. People keep changing their job might because they want to try different careers or they are dismissed.  
  
Sometimes people are forced to seek for a new job due to the drastic changes in external environment, including technological revolution. People may find themselves hard to be fit for their present job without having advanced technical skills, so they have to change their career. For example, some employees in Huawei , one of the biggest mobile phone companies in China, fail to keep their position as they cannot keep pace with innovation, such as creating a new application for data analysis. People will lose their job easily during layoffs if they don't meet requirements of employers.  
  
In other cases, people switch their job because they want a varied career. They work for different companies in order to find out their favourite career path. They may embark on their careers for working for some large companies, where they can dig out their potential and talents to the full extent, as big companies often provide them with plenty of opportunities to get access to larger labour market. Afterward, they apply the knowledge which they gained in different companies to helping young ventures growing into successful enterprises.  
  
Because of uncertainty about job prospects, working people should pay great attention to these two major issues. They should sign up for courses to acquire new skills to fit into technology-led world. For example, they may need to learn how to use the newest software to improve their working efficiency. Moreover, they should save money to cope with financial problems arising from unemployment. For those who tend to set up their own business, the money they deposited in the bank can be used to cover the start-up costs.  
  
To conclude, few young people expect to work for a company permanently today. They need to equip themselves with advanced skills and have a sound financial foundation to show resilience in times of rapid change.
Hope my feedbacks help. In general, your ideas and vocabularies are amazing, I have learnt a lot from this essay. Thank you <3 From Vietnam with love.  
  
People keep changing their ~~job~~ (work = avoid repetition) ~~might because they want to try different careers or they are dismissed~~. (meaning eror "People keep changing their work might because they have to try different careers or else they would find themselves unemployed")  
  
... forced to seek ~~for~~ a new job ... changes in the external environment, ... People may find ~~themselves~~(it) hard to ~~be~~ fit ~~for~~ their present job ...  
  
... to get access to a larger labour market. ... in different companies to help~~ing~~ young ventures grow~~ing~~ into successful enterprises.  
  
Because of uncertainty about... (you should give your examples directly because this sentence aims to provide the general idea of the paragraph, like " ...pay great attention to ... and ..."). They should ... to fit into a technology-led world. ... how to use the ~~newest software~~ (you can use "latest software" or "latest technology" because it sounds better and avoid repetition) to ...  
  
... They need to... (You are giving a discussion idea but forget a crucial thing, the conclusion need a related answer for the question "why do people change jobs regularly?" you may lose coherence point)