dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
## Teaching Parents

  
  
There is always a heated debate that whether "Parents are the best teachers". When faced with this topic,many people claims that parents would play a significant role in the education of children. While others, in contrast ,believe that what children gain from the society carry greater weight on the children, compared with the former.  
  
From where i stand, i am inclined to the former that parents are the best teacher. What books are to scholars, instruments are to musicians, parents are always behind the children, and the influence they bring is the same, which is along with the whole lifetime of children. What parents do, even on a tiny thing, could leave deep impressions on the children's mind. For example, If the parents are not mentally healthy, it is very possible for the children to suffer from the mental illness in the future. Therefore, parents should often watch out their behaviors to be equal to a "teacher" and keep in mind that a best teacher is able to cultivate children through their daily life.  
  
What's more, family education lends itself to direct and stimulate children's interest. If history is a guide, most of the famous people who have made great achievement benefit from excellent family education. The education is not only about the right principles to suit in the society, but also tapping their potentials. Children who have discovered fields that they are willing to devote to are tend to be more persistent and could go places easier.  
  
To conclude, it's reasonable to say that Parents are the best teachers to children in their whole life.
Li, your essay is... half baked, if we were to compare it to bread. It should have been a delectable representation of the prompt had you been able to appropriately represent your discussion using relevant examples and descriptions. Since you did not properly represent the prompt instruction as to how to discuss the topic, which had you either agreeing or disagreeing with the statement, you weakened what could have been a strong opening statement. Then, you made a comparison statement about books to scholars and instruments to teachers, but dropped the ball when it came to "parents are teachers to their children". The whole discussion is weak because it does not have any believable supporting information for your claims as to how parents are the best teachers for students. The essay is wanting for improvement in so many ways that this cannot possible score higher than a 2 in the actual test.
Lijing, what you did he was create your own prompt to respond to rather than responding to the prompt discussion requirement. Nowhere in the original prompt are you asked for the qualities off a good teacher. You are only getting asked to explain whether you are or disagree with the statement about parents being the best teachers. This prompt deviation on your part w will result in an automatic failure of your essay in the actual test.  
  
The first thing you have to prove to the examiner is that you are capable of understanding English via the proper prompt restatement and succeeding discussion. Since you decided to create your own prompt and discuss that, you showed that you are able to understand English but cannot follow instructions. If you do not stick to the prompt requirements in your discussion, you cannot pass the test when it you do understand English and are capable of writing and speaking in the language.  
  
Another violation of your essay is that you looked questions for the examiner as if you were speaking directly to the person and he can offer you an opinion. Do not lose questions in the essay unless you plan to personally respond to the said question yourself. This is not a physical discussion but rather an opinion paper and should be discussed in the same manner.
Do you think that a bad student has a bad teacher? Personally, I think the major cause of that problem is a result of a less - than effective teacher. In my essay, I will set out my reasons to explain why.  
  
## Bad Teacher => Bad Student?

  
  
First, pupils are disinterested in school because their teacher cannot get through to them, also is said that, they do not have enough expert knowledge or cannot find an effective way to teach them. Therefore, they gradually brown off, and do not want to do the exercises or learn anything anymore. That makes their scores decrease and the students are underperforming.  
  
Second, when students have to put up with a bad - tempered teacher or they are received offensive remarks from their teachers that lead to emotional disorder. Children live in anxiety that someone will abuse school teacher's power to make them hurt when they go to school resulted in that they are afraid of school and teachers there. They may talk that: "I hate school", "I do not want to go to school" - there are sign that they have a bad teacher.  
  
However, it is not always true in every circumstance. There are many reasons to make a student worse. A good example of this would be they are lazy to do tasks or assignment, or they are becoming to be a computer addiction. And I believe that a seduce from friends is a big problem that children must be conscious.  
  
In conclusion, I believe that a bad teacher can make students ineffectively than they are used to be. Whatever causes there are, parents and society must pay attention to children and supply them with a well education because children are taking the future into their own hands.
Vy, I am not sure what you are supposed to discuss here and how. Rather than presenting an accurate paraphrasing of the prompt requirements, you decided to pose a question before the reader. Which would have been a good thing if you had only bothered to add an explanation of what the essay would be discussing and why. For example, you could have indicated that this is an opinion essay based upon the premise that "students under perform in school due to bad teachers. I will explain why I believe this is so." The current opening statement does nothing to establish the line of discussion within the essay, which is what is expected of the opening statement in an exam essay.  
  
While the rest of your essay reasons make sense, you suddenly decided to contradict your line of reasoning for some reason come paragraph 4. Why is that? What kind of essay are you trying to really discuss? Why did you suddenly present this reason? You are leaving your reader with more questions than answers in this instance regarding your discussion topics and methods so that the confusion will be sure to affect your final score. Remember, you need to have a clear discussion outline in your first paragraph so that the reviewer can follow the flow of the essay and always know his place even if he stops reading for a while and comes back. You did not accomplish the informative objective of this particular presentation.
*Learning to play team sports is an important part of a child's education.  
Do you agree or disagree? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.*  
  
## Sports Education

  
  
There is no doubt that sports are as important as education to build any individual. While it is argued that it is necessary to learn team sports for children during their education period. In my opinion, it is quite important to do such activity while growing up. I will explain this in my essay.  
  
Team sports should be an essential part of an education curriculum. This is because in this way children will learn how to apply themselves in a team. For example, If, a child will learn how to perform in a team through sports he will grasp that quickly and will be groomed up in a better team member on any field in future. However, if they do not participate in such activity then they might not develop such skills and as a consequence of this, they might fail to perform in a team in their future.  
  
Furthermore, playing together in a team teach you many lessons like helping your partner, understanding everyone's strong and weak point. Due to these reasons, individual learns to perform at a time of crisis. For instance, Sundar Pichai who is the CEO of the Google admits in his blog that he learned team building skills from cricket which is an eleven member team sports. Thus, if we do not learn how to work in a team in adolescence then we might struggle in future.  
  
In conclusion, although education is necessary, however, team building acting activity is equally important to learning different skills like knowing strength and weakness of team member and applying yourself in the tough situations.
@Mayank7g  
Hi I am really excited about your work because I am studying IELTS too. from my point of view, your work is really amazing but you should look at some drawbacks which going to less your score.  
  
Nowadays, there are various reason that make people become less exercising, they become tired, not energetic any more, so doing something outdoors is really good for their held, however so many people that discuss we should pay attention to some academic work because it will help them become success but they forgot that health is really important, they need help because it will decide success not money so learning sport is good  
  
You should use more connection words such as by comparison or on the other hand, put some academic vocabuary show how much you understand english
Mayank, there is a problem with your opening statement because it does not accurately represent the topic for discussion and the given instruction pertaining to how the topic is to be discussed in the essay. You were being asked to agree or disagree with the topic and, this opinion, should have been presented as part of the discussion outline from the very start. Without that instruction, the essay seems to have taken a prompt deviation in the discussion. Which, we both know is not the case. However, people will think that because you prompt instructions were incomplete in the opening statement. In order to gain a better score, you need to make sure that all requirements for the discussion are properly represented in the opening statement. Next, the conclusion totally went off base when it came to wrapping up the essay. The concluding statement did not reflect information about team sports and your agreement or non-agreement of the given topic. The topic is about learning to plan Team Sports, not about team building. Due to these serious errors, the only possible score I can give you for this essay is 4.
**The diagram below show the stages in the erosion of a headland. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant**  
  
## Headland Erosion

  
  
The pictures illustrate how a headland can be eroded by wave in the coastal area and how the surface of hard rock can be changed. Overall, it is interesting to notice that even though the wave is quiet enough, it effects on the surface of a headland, and wear the headland down naturally without human activity.  
  
Firstly, the first process is destruction of particular part of headland, especially in weak area will be eroded because of wave strength and then the small cave will be created. The small cave is bigger and bigger in size, so that it becomes natural arch. It likes Durdle, Door, and Dorset.  
  
The further process, sea water hits the arch roof regularly. As the consequence, the roof stack falls into the sea level and the headland is separated and becomes small headland called stack. Afterward, the sea water still erodes the stuck and it is smaller and smaller. As a result, the small part of the stack exist opposite it, called stump.  
  
*
Agus, the essay can probably get a 5 because you managed to present the obvious information in the illustration you were provided. While you would get a good score for this essay, that does not erase the fact that you did not manage to present the explanation of the erosion process in the proper manner. If you review the drawing, you will notice that each picture has a complete series of erosion procedures that combine to create the overall erosion. Each erosion procedure is equivalent to a single paragraph in the essay, had you explained each of the pictures in a complete paragraph manner. Bonus points for knowing how to use the examples given. However, the example is Durdle Door and Dorset. There is no comma between Durdle and Door, it is one word. The essay was already partially written for you in this instance, all you had to do was properly expand upon the provided information. With that said, you should know that there is still plenty of room for you to learn how to fully utilize the illustrations you are given to summarize. Just keep practicing. You have the potential to do it perfectly in the future.
## benefits and drawbacks regarding early learning of second language

  
  
Acquiring a foreign language is never easy. Deciding on whether kids should start learning a different language at an earlier stage has been a tough pedagogic task for the scholars. This essay holds a supporting stance for the notion that students should learn a foreign language as early as possible due to the fact that it is more flexible and feasible.  
  
In terms of flexibility, begin learning at primary school allows more room for manoeuver. Teachers can arrange activities like a study tour to a foreign place or communication with a foreign pen friend for the students throughout the six years. Students can have more time to breed their interest for the language. They can get to know more about the language through watching cartoons with foreign subtitles.  
  
Considering the feasibility, though many would claim that children are not mature enough to learn another language at primary school, the fact is kids at primary school are indeed stress-free and would learn at a faster pace instead. Secondary schoolchildren have to confront countless obstacles in their school life, be it the rigid school curriculum or the tremendous pressure brought by the competitive social phenomenon. Hardly can they spare any time for family reunion, not to mention about learning a different language which requires relentless determination.  
  
In conclusion, even if primary school children are not physiologically developed enough to learn a new language, the benefits of begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school outweigh the demerits of it in terms of flexibility and feasibility.
Good work Lee. You were able to properly assess the topic for discussion, present the reason behind the discussion, and offer the idea as to how the discussion of the topic would be presented in your essay. Your conclusion also adhered to the same pattern of restating the prompt and reasons in a manner that allowed you to close the essay in a strong manner. Though there are existing grammar accuracy problems in your work, these did not deter the reader from reading what you had to say to the very end. Mostly because the mistakes did not confuse the reader nor pose any problems in deciphering the meaning behind your words. This is a very solid accomplishment on your part. I do not doubt that if you continue to write in this manner, you will score no less than a 6 in the actual test.
**A company has announced that it wishes to build a large factory near your community**  
  
## Life on a Dole Better than Climate Pollution

  
  
It is proved that development of a certain society directly is related to level of domestic or foreign investment. Investment could be in form of opening a new branch or expanding an old factory. Alongside its likely positive outcomes, such investment would cause damages to some extent. In the following paragraphs, I will try to explain what would be the advantages and disadvantages of building of large factory to my community by giving some reasons, ideas and examples.  
  
As mentioned in the introduction, establishing new factory is a controversial subject and here I discuss its advantages and disadvantages, respectively. Firstly, nowadays unemployment rate is getting high and having a permanent job will bring peace of mind and decrease stress. Since a newly built factory hires staff, it means that it will lead to numerous job vacancies in the community. In addition to this, it will create new market where it is built and will cause to the establishment of small businesses around that factory. Meanwhile, performing its social responsibilities and funding some voluntary projects, factory can help the improvement of life quality of the residents. Finally, establishment of a new factory will lead to dense commuters and pave the ground for the presence of people from different walks of country and even abroad. Such diversity will cause to the appearance of cross-cultural environment in that community.  
  
When it comes to disadvantages of such factory, the first negative outcome will be the pollution of the weather. In another word, all the fossil energies used in this factory will cause to the suspension of toxic and solid particles and carbon dioxides in the weather. All these suspended particles, on the one hand, bring about acid rains damaging agriculture severely. On the other hand, it will increase respiratory sicknesses such as asthma, lung disease etc. Secondly, all hazardous waste and the deadly byproducts of industrial process buried in landfield or dumped in fields not only salinizes the soil at the surface of ground but also pollutes underground waters by seeping down through tiny cracks in the earth. As a result, drinking polluted water itself creates diseases and salinized soil is no longer able to be cultivated. Meanwhile, any likely storm will blow salinized soil away to the atmosphere, in turn, double the suspended particle in the weather.  
  
Eventually, as discussed in the above paragraphs, establishing a new factory is a two-sided coin and bring about some advantages and disadvantages. Since it causes some severe diseases, I personally oppose to the opening of such large factory near my community.
Farid, when you write your opening statement, please do not forget to include your personal opinion as required by the essay. That is because the first paragraph needs to properly outline the discussion for your reader. It serves as guideline for the upcoming discussion and prepares the reader for the information you are about to present. In this instance, the paraphrased requirements does not reflect that your personal opinion on the matter is required. So when you present your personal stance, it seems to be out of place in the essay and becomes an non-required set of information. If it is not in the paraphrased paragraph, the assumption is, it should not be in the essay. Now, since the examiner knows exactly what the original prompt requires, when you miss presenting it in your essay, you will be marked down for it. Such as is the case with this particular essay. I don't think you can score higher than a 3 because of the missing prompt elements and, the problem with your conclusion. The conclusion should not have included your personal opinion on the matter. All required elements for discussion should be presented, at all times, within its own paragraph. Never include new information in a closing statement because the essay will end on an open note instead. A properly written essay needs to end the discussion in the final paragraph by presenting the summarized facts of discussion and a reminder of your personal opinion alone. Nothing more, nothing less. Points will be deducted for the improper closing of an essay.
## Houses and Residential Buildings

  
  
The Map below shows the changes in an American town between 1994 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making comparisons where relevant.  
  
The maps illustrate about the alteration of some buildings is in an American village between 1948 and 2010. It can be seen that north west and south east of town had experienced alteration some construction significantly in the couple of years.  
  
To begin, north west side of canal in 1948 had few features such as factories, petrol station, residential houses and local supermarket from the north side to the south side. Petrol station was the only feature which existed in both of the years. Factories in 1948 had been altered into airport in 2010. Opposite of the gas station in 1948 was garden albeit it changed into commercial building and supermarket. In 2010, commercial building also existed in cross road, but before that in 1948 houses and local supermarket still existed.  
  
On the other hand, the features in south east side were only two buildings such as residential houses and church in 1948. However, church was altered into sport stadium over six-decade. In addition, residential houses did not experience alteration in the couple of the year.  
  
* 
*
Hermin, as a rule of thumb, you will increase your chances of a higher score in the TA and GRA sections of your essay if you do your best to develop your paragraphs using the 3-5 sentence rule. The longer the paragraph, the better chances you have of developing complex sentences and an impressive lexical resource that could help to boost your final score. Your opening statement could have used the increased sentence presentation, as the concluding sentence benefited from your 3 sentence presentation. Aim for a consistency when presenting comparison information. It would be best for you and the reader if you do not mix the year presentations in one paragraph. Since you were provided with two drawings to use for the comparison essay, you could have discussed each image as a separate paragraph, creating 2 body paragraphs that accurately discussed the development and changes of the drawings while also setting your essay up for a more solid concluding paragraph. The improved conclusion would have been the direct result of the more informative body of paragraphs within the essay. As is, this essay would probably garner a score of 5.
## Two Shops

  
  
The map illustrates regarding to altering the Stoke village in 1930 and 2010. It can be seen that both in the western and eastern of the village had changed.  
  
In the past, 1930, the western land between the River Stoke and a long side road had dominated by Farmland and two shops. By the time, in 2010, not only a long side farmland but also two shops had removed due to erect housing. Furthermore, it is clear that expanding some little road has constructed also.  
  
On the other hand, instead of at opposite the road, there are three changes in eastern side of the road in 2010. Firstly, similar to western side, farmland which located behind the primary school had constructed into houses and expanded on the road. Secondly, the primary school had expanded on three buildings. Lastly, the large house that was located in behind garden had turned into retirement house.  
  
*
Restuan, even though you wrote a little over the 150 word requirement, it was not enough to get you a better score for this essay. That is because you failed to accomplish some expected tasks within your essay. Tasks such as an informative summary overview composed of at least 3 sentences, and the mechanical nature of the presentation shows that you just did enough work based upon the existing information. There was no analysis of the information and an effort on your part to present the information in a more personal way that shows a better understanding of the illustration you were provided. It was this type of writing that prevented you from increasing the possible final score for your essay. I don't think you can score higher than a 4 with this practice test. You need to try and apply your English comprehension and analytical skills in your writing. This will require you to better analyze the information that you are provided with and also, force you to write more complex English sentences. Both efforts, if successfully delivered on your part, will definitely result in a better score consideration for you in the actual test.