dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
In the last century, travel is too hard with people. Now we can get to places that were once hard to reach, and I think this has changed people's experience.  
  
In the past, tourists can find their own route to their destination, and this was part of their trip. When they got back home, they have many stories to tell.  
  
Nowadays, big travel companies have many types of service to travelers. Sometimes they are transported from the airport to their hotel, where they stay for their vacation. I think they do not have the opportunity to meet local people and see real lanscape.  
  
Another problem is that today's hotels have many tourist facilities. It is hard to find tourists who go out the resort. Although some visitor do, but they quickly go back to their hotel, where they feel comfortable.  
  
This is very different from the past, when hotels were more basic and tourists have to find places to eat and beautiful places by themselves. In the past, I saw traveler who talked with local people to find where to eat and go in the streets. In my opinion, this was a good way to travel for everyone. Today, tourists can find places to eat and beautiful places via internet, so they do not have opportunity to meet local people and they do not have many experience about their adventure.
Hi Le, following your essay, I must say, indeed, the tourism industry has changed a lot, I remember, back in the day, I was happy to go to the carnival or when its time for them to visit our little town, my heart would go pounding as I know it will be a fun filled week, then my family ventured on a camping trip and that was just an amazing experience, years went by and as I grow up, we learned how to book our own airline tickets without the help of an agent and do our own itinerary with a few clicks online, this is just my take on the difference of tourism from then and now, indeed, it's a huge development and hopefully, everyone will be responsible to make good use of this development.  
  
Now, enough of my inputs, please find a few suggestions below, to enhance your essay.  
  
- ~~In~~Over the last century,  
- travel is too hard ~~with~~for people.  
- Nowadays, we can get to places that  
- When they ~~got~~go back home,  
- they have ~~many~~a lot of stories to tell.  
- ~~Nowadays~~This days , big travel companies  
- to meet the local people  
- and ~~see real~~venture to the real land scape of the country .  
  
- tourists who ~~go~~goes out of the resort.  
- Although some visitors do,  
  
There you have it Le, I hope the above remarks are helpful to your essay revision.
Hello hong na, this is some correction from me and feel free to correct me too!  
  
... travel is too hard ~~with~~for people.  
  
Nowadays we can get to the places that were ~~once~~ hard to reach,...  
  
...and I think ~~this~~it has changed people's experience.  
  
....and ~~this~~it was a part of their trip.  
  
When they ~~got~~go back to their home, they have manya lot of stories to tell about.  
  
Nowadays, many big travel companies have ~~many~~variety types of services~~to~~for travelers.
**Do you agree that money is the only motivation at work why people prefer working in the same company for many years?**  
  
Many people think that they have to work in the same office for a long time because of money purpose. I disagree with this statement because passion the employees have and working environment they feel in the workplace are the compelling reasons for such trend.  
  
It is generally believed that workers are not only interested with money in their offices, but also other awards. The reason for this argument is that people feel comfortable to work with their own passion and companies facilitated them with a good opportunity. Besides, employees have their own motivation to be good workers in their offices for regarding rewards by their bosses. For instance, in 2007 University of Yokohama surveyed more than 1,500 workers and they found that 68% of surveyors have motivation to be a good employee in their offices as their target and just 30% workers from this survey said that money purpose is more interested. Therefore, it is shown that money is not the only interesting reward that makes employees satisfy.  
  
Aside from what is explained above, loyalty with their bosses' make people have a long time to work in the same companies. It happens because being close to their boss increase their chance to be the next supervisor in the offices. Obviously, Tim Cook has been working in Apple Companies since 1990 and it makes him become an owner of this company because of his loyalty. Moreover, it gives an example that being loyal for their supervisors makes many employees interested to work longer in the same offices.  
  
All in all, money is not the only employee's reason to stay for a long time in the same companies. Their passion and also a good feeling in their workplace have an important key too for them to work in the same offices for several time.
**Question :  
  
In some countries it is now illegal to smoke in public places. It is only fair that people who wish to smoke should have to leave the building. Do you agree or disagree?**  
  
People should leave the building for smoking. I agree with this statement because many people in the building can get the fresh air and they would be avoided from being suffered of serious diseases.  
  
Workers in the workplace feel good as the weather in the room is clean and clear from the cigarette smoke. This mean the air conditioner in the room can work properly and effective as the smokers is go outside from the room to the place which provided by government. The smokers can use the room and not bother others people. For instance, the effectiveness of employees is rise since they can focus for complete their task. It is true that the workers are feel comfortable with this condition.  
  
On other hand, people can keep their body healthy. This means when a smoker not in the building, a possibility to get chronic illness is less. A research from University of Boston in 2006 an example show that 80% of employees in the room without smoke have a higher rate of healthy rather than other. and the presence of workers getting better since the employee body always fit every day It accepted that healthy is important for the workers to stay focus.  
  
All in all, a smoking in the outside building is the most effective way for people in the workplace to get a nature air and the employees can keep their body to stay fit. Thus, people inside the building is get the positive impact from the condition.
Hi Andika, first of all, in this essay, you can merge both 1st and 2nd paragraph into 1 and do the same for the rest of the essay, this means you will have 2 essays at the end of the revision, I suggest this because it will be easier to read and comprehend, also, remember that slicing your ideas into smaller paragraphs does not mean that it has better outcome than merging them into 2 solid paragraphs.  
  
Just to share, people who smoke, always pose a very crucial health problem not only to the one who smokes but more importantly to the one who as they say, get the "second hand smoke", they are more likely to develop the diseases from smoke, more than the one who are smoking. I believe it will be a hard issue to tackle, however, if one can quit smoking, then that's already a good start.  
  
Going back to our essay, below are my thoughts on the final paragraph of your essay.  
  
- ~~All in all~~Overall , ~~a~~ smoking ~~in the~~ outside the building  
- in the workplace to get ~~a nature~~natural air and the  
- employees can keep their body ~~to~~and stay fit.  
-Thus, people inside the building ~~is~~will get the positive  
- impact from ~~the~~this condition.  
  
There you have it Andika, as you can see, the last paragraph of the essay can still be enhanced and I hope this helps in your revision.
Information technology (IT) is the word which changes many people's lifestyle. Nowadays, there are a lot of forms of communication via IT such as email, message, facebook... People spend less time going out with their friends. However, it's not certain to conclude about this negative effect on their lives, anyway, I think they are better.  
  
In the past, people kept in touch with remote friends via written letter. It took many hours or even many days to receive from postman. It's so obvious that this communication way was extremely hard and as a result, the people's relationship can be faded. Social network such as email or facebook is so fast that people do not only save time but communicate conveniently.  
  
Modern means of communication have become efficent tools for teamwork. For example, by video call or social forum on internet, everyone have taken easy to work together. They can organize plans, hold meetings, reports or even start-up. Those ways are useful in study and business.  
  
Moreover, it is not suitable to argue that communication by internet have reduced the amount of people see each other. Social websites improve to make friend all over the world. People find and chat with many new friends and increase social circle. They can create a lot of appointments, parties and know how their friends feel, what the friends are doing, where they are now.  
  
In conclusion, I disagree that modern forms of communication on social lives. I believe the appearing of social websites brings people closer together.
Hello Nguyen, this is some correction for me and feel free to correct me too!  
  
... is the word which changes ~~many~~ people's lifestyle.  
  
People have~~spend~~spent less time for going out with their friends.  
  
It~~'s~~is~~so obvious~~acceptable that this communication (...) as a result, ~~the~~ people's relationship ...  
  
... email or facebook is ~~so~~ faster , so~~that~~ people ~~do~~ not only ~~save~~saving more time but also communicate conveniently.  
  
Modern ~~means~~ways of communication ~~have~~is~~become~~becomingmore efficent tools for teamwork.  
  
......everyone ~~have~~is~~taken~~takingmore easy to work together.
**Question:  
  
In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong while others consider it as valuable work experience. Discuss both views and give your opinion**  
  
In some countries many children not only studying at school, but also work at the workplace. Some people say that it has a positive and negative impact for them in the future. Even though, children can get valuable lesson from their paid work, I prefer that children should stayed at school for studying and increasing their knowledge because their metal age is not ready to face the true life of working.  
  
By taking a side job, children would learn something that they cannot get from school. In their office work, there are many adult people who have many experiences and can share one another. For instance, children working at the cafe, would learn about socialisation with the old people and gain new experience that they cannot get in the school. As result, the children can adapt with adult people easily.  
  
On other hand, children have to study at school and find more about the knowledge. This is because their psychology is not suitable to working place. Their age is still young and it means that they should use their leasure time with their similar age for playing. In the future they can feel the impact from their hard study and they could be at the highest level of education. For instance, survey about under age worker in central institution of statistic state that just 10% children can use the equipments in the office like computer and cannot work full day activity. It makes the company not satisfied about their work.  
  
I believed that children should study at the school rather than taking a job because they responsibility is find more knowledge. If they taking a job it would be interfere their focus in school and children activity can be oversee in the school by parents.  
  
In conclusion, children can achieve many experience in the workplace not only in the school. However, their psychology is not suitable for doing the job as their age is need improvement for the future. I suggested parents should give more attention on their children for getting a better future.
Hi! I have some feedback for you!  
  
In conclusion, children can achieve many experience in ... should be  
... experience not only by attending formal education in the school but also by having part time job.  
  
... is not suitable for doing ~~the~~ job as their age is ~~need improvement for the future~~not mature yet .  
  
I suggested parents should give more attention ... should be  
I would like to suggest parents to give more attention on their children so that they can have a better future.
***In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong while others consider it as valuable work experience. Discuss both views and give your opinion.***  
  
Many children spend much time in the workplace than studying in the school in several countries. Some people believe that it is false step for children, while others say it is pivotal for the future. I am more likely to believe that children are not only ready in mentality but also in physics to deal with trouble in the workplace although valuable work experience would be gained by children taking a part-time job.  
  
It is generally believed that to survive in a company require strong physical and mental, but children do not have them. if they are forced to take a chance of working while they are studying will suffer a mental disorder. for instance, Japan educational council released the result of a survey in 2005 that showed almost 40% of working children suffered anomaly-mental. However, I claim that this problem should not be people main concern as the proper guidance of the workplace would lead them to avoid problem in the working place, forcing them to think hard.  
  
On the other hand, when children decided to take a half-time job, the precious experience will be obtained for preparing in the future. this is due to the fact that children met other employees and gain much experience. For example, a current survey conducted by the ministry of education shows that approximately 75% of students as workers has a quick adaptation in the workplace.it is noticeable that students with half-time in school have higher achievement than students who have full time in the school since they have skill for problem solving.  
  
In conclusion, although some people think that children who have experience in the workplace is a good choice, this essay tend to talk about children have to focus on their study. This is due to the fact that the lack of mental and physic in children to face with hardness world of job, even though benefit experience can reach easily. I recommended parents should give more concern on their children so that have a better future.
Hi! I have some feedback for you!  
  
In conclusion, although some people think that children who have experience in the workplace ... should be  
In conclusion, although some people think that it is a good choice for children to have work experience earlier, this essay tend to determine it is best for children to stay focus on their study.  
  
This is due to the fact that the lack of mental and physic in children to face with hardness world of job, even though benefit experience can reach easily. should be  
  
This is due to the fact that their mental and physic are not yet ready to face the work life even though they can have some benefit experience from it.  
  
I recommended parents should give more concern on their children so that have a better future. should be  
  
I would like to recommend parents to increase their concern to their children towards this issue so that they will have a better future.
HI Riandi, here's another one from my end;  
  
- On the other hand, when ~~children~~a minor decided  
- to take a ~~half-time~~part time job,  
- the precious experience will be obtained ~~for preparing~~that will prepare them in the future,  
- this is due to the fact that ~~children~~this minors met  
- It is noticeable that students  
- with ~~half-time in school~~part time job have higher  
- achievement than students who ~~have~~has full time  
- ~~in the school~~studies since they have developed a skill ~~for~~in problem solving.  
  
There you have it Riandi, for future writing reference, mind the linking verbs as well as the forms of the words that you incorporate in your sentences as this will have an overall impact in your essay. I hope the above corrections help in your revision and I will try to come back for the rest of the paragraph.
**Question:**  
**The world of work is changing rapidly. Working conditions today are not the same as before and people no longer rely on taking one job for life. Discuss the possible causes for these changes and give your suggestion which can be taken in the future?**  
  
**Answer :**  
  
It is generally believed that the whole work situation is totally changing today compared several years bygone. Workers prefer to take more than one job. Higher living costs are the reason of this case. Therefore, living in economical way is solution which can be taken by workers.  
  
It is often said that the rise of living cost is one of contributing factors inducing the trend. The reason for this is that the salary the employees receive in every month cannot accommodate all basic necessities. A current study carried out in university of New York in 2012 uncovered that 65% of people in Britain decide to take a side job as the expenditure they make in every month is in the soaring rate. By this study, it is true that the increase of cost they spend for living is one of reasons why people are more likely to go part-time.  
  
On the other side, one of possible solutions which can be taken by employees to solve this phenomenon is living in providently way. Workers can economize to buy only necessity stuffs and save money for emergency needed such as children tuition school, medical check-up or holiday fee in year-end. Even thought, some workers argue it is not easy to suddenly change the way of life but in my opinion having one settled job is enough as long as people can manage their financial balance between income and outcome  
  
Overall, the most reason why employees search for another job is higher all basic necessities or accommodation. Moreover, workers can settle this issue by living in economical situation. In my view, workers have to manage their financial to be sufficiency for daily outcome.
Hi Eve, here is some advice for you  
  
... changing today compared to several years bygone.  
  
... economical way is a solution which can... get used to put an article  
  
... that the salary of the employees received in every month cannot ...  
A current study carried out in a university of New York ...  
... why people are more likely to ~~go~~take part-time job .  
  
... solve this phenomenon is by living in providently way.  
... money for emergency need~~ed~~s such as children ...  
Even thought~~,~~ some workers argue that it is not easy (...) the way of life, but in my opinion ... the pattern is **Even though S + V (comma) S + V**  
  
... search for another job is higher all basic necessities or accommodation. better if is because the basic necessities costs keep rising  
  
Best regards.
**Question :**  
**Do you agree that money is the only motivation at work why people prefer working in the same company for many years ?**  
  
People work in the same corporation for many years just for getting a money. I do not agree with this statement because feeling of comfort about the job environment and the probability to be the expertise in the company are the most reasons for this trend.  
  
It is often said that people keep working in the same corporation because of comfortable feeling to working atmosphere. This means environment in the workplace would support them in dealing with their job. For example, I personally experience of having friend working in the same company for ages. A proper guidance from the boss and caring friends in workplace makes him did so. Therefore, it is true that being convenient is the reason why people are loyal in the same workplace.  
  
In addition, workers getting higher position is another factor which should be taken into account. This means when a worker stay longer in one company, a probability to be an expert is huge. A study conducted in University of York in 2008 as an example revealed that 75% of employees staying for ages in the same organization have a willing to be an expert. It is true that chance to be the expertise in the company is getting higher as they have been many experience.  
  
In conclusion, the comfortable feeling of working atmosphere become the other reason for employee to keep in the same corporation for many years. Moreover, a huge opportunity to be expertise also the reason from the worker. It is makes people not only think about the salary.
Hi! I have some feedback for you!  
  
In conclusion, the comfortable feeling of ...  
In conclusion, salary is no longer the only reason for employee to stay in tHe same corporate. The comfortable working atmosphere is one of the reason for employee to stay in the same corporate for many years.  
  
Moreover, a huge opportunity to be expertise ...  
Moreover, another reason for worker to stay in the same company is a huge opportunity to be an expertise offered as they become a loyal employee for years.
**"As the world becomes technologically advanced, computers are replaced more and more jobs. Describe some job positions that may be lost because of computers, and discuss at least one problem that may result."**  
  
In recent years, the world is more and more modern, computers are used widely to replace human in many fields such as accounting, management, scheduling,etc. but one of the typical cases i want to mention is using computers in order to operate the system. That brings a lot of obvious advantages, there are some disadvantages as well.  
  
I believe there are three main advantages. First of all, the computers always work with the same efficient without being influenced by any conditions that the human can be made like bad healthy, hot weather, cool weather. Second, using computers to instate human activity will raise productivity, computers will control the system's operation following what people set up. Unless any computers, there need a lot of people to operate the system, when using computers, the job just need a person to control the computers which operate the system. Finally, it is very ideal for using computers replaces human to work at grave-shift. If people work over night for a long time, they will get sick and it is not happen when they use computers.  
  
However, that also exists a few disadvantages. In my view, when appearing any troubles, computers can never treat. And those will not realize the problem to stop the system. Also, working on computers to control the system is needing a highly advanced technique and combination with knowledgeable in information technology. Beside, in my opinion, the biggest problem is that there are a lot of unemployments in many under-developed and large population countries. If every company uses computers to replace human activities, it is a big dangerous for unskilled worker class. And the society's vices will be more popular when existing so much unemployment.  
  
Therefore, I think the advantages of using computers to instate some job positions are greater than the disadvantages. If this advance is widely common to the firms, the productivity may rise the profit, there is also country's revenue and improves human's life. Beside that, government should considerate on trainings to the unskilled worker class to be better and get the good jobs.