dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
***Some people think that hosting an international sports event is good for the country while some people think that it is bad.***  
## Discuss both views and state your opinion.

  
  
Some people argue that it is beneficial for the country to host an international sports event while others believe this is negative. While organizing this event might bring some disadvantages, I maintain the opinion that this is good for the host nation to develop its tourism and global cooperation.  
  
To commence with, being the host of an international sports event can have some demerits. Firstly, the host nation would have to allocate a large amount of money for the event to refurbish its infrastructure and hire employees. As a result, this could lead to a lack of budget for other emergency problems such as education or health care. Furthermore, the country organizing the event is likely to cope with environmental pollution. This could be explained by the fact that there would be many audiences who litter indiscriminately when coming to watch the live event.  
  
Despite the mentioned disadvantages above, I believe that hosting an international sports event is a good chance for the nation to develop in various aspects. The tourism industry of the host country can witness rapid development because of overseas tourists coming to cheer for their national teams. In addition, this event could help the host country widen its cooperation with global companies around the world. The reason for this is that this event will be broadcasted on the national channels of all the participant countries, which is an incredible chance to advertise and attract investment.  
  
In conclusion, although hosting an international sports event could have adverse impacts on the environment and state budget for urgent problems, I restate that this is a good chance to help the host nation develop its tourism industry and attract global investment
Avoid opening the prompt restatement with the same phrase as the original presentation. This is to avoid creating the idea that you are writing in a cut and paste format. Something that will lower the accuracy score of your presentation. It will also help the C+C score of your paraphrasing if you use individual sentences for each opinion so as to create a clear separation of public opinion views in your paragraph. The clarity of writing in this section carries heavy point considerations and you want to avoid any deductions, no matter how small, as much as possible. Good job on the formatting of your opinion statement. Extra points will be awarded for the cohesive writing that properly blends the thesis statement into the given opinion. That is what examiners are actually looking for.  
  
The reasoning paragraphs are not properly formatted. There should be a total of 3 reasons presented per paragraph. One each for the supporting, opposing, and personal opinion discussions. Clearly indicating the seperation of opinions by use of proper pronouns is also needed for a proper GRA score consideration. The presentations are confusing in the sense that it appears to all come from the personal opinion of the writer only. This is incorrect and will find the score of the essay being based on an under developed, and under represented discussion presentation.
## the fashion today

  
  
The more human fundamental need increases, the more crucial clothing selection becomes. While stylishly dressing is highly valued for themselves, this trend also has some detrimental effects on our communities.  
  
Undeniably, fashion plays an indispensable role in the contemporary world. Firstly, one of the most significant reasons is that fashion is a fantastic opportunity for individuals' self-expression and character traits. Precisely, people entitle themselves to choose and wear whatever they relish. One enthusiastically pursues chic style; one wants to follow a street style or another craves to mix any beautiful items in their own way. As a result, creatively dressing boosts energy to love and value themselves, which remarkably contributes to their comfort and confidence in their life. At the same time, clothing selection choices benefit the general public to develop their creativity.  
  
However, there are several negative influences on our environment obtained from this trend. These days, a large number of people are highly interested in fast fashion because of its reasonable price. If we purchase luxurious brands that we do not actually need or wear once and discard them, we will live in a throw-away society. Therefore, a sheer volume of natural resources are wasted, and excess products are unconsciously thrown into the environment. Furthermore, those who are unaffordable with extravagant clothes, especially youngsters, may spend a lot of money or even get into debt, which puts pressure on the family's financial means.  
  
In conclusion, although fashion makes a beneficial contribution to our confidence and creativity, it also poses some catastrophic consequences on the environment and strains on a family's financial stability.
Fashion is not portrayed as a fundamental need in the first presentation. Therefore, it should notbe interpreted as such in the writer's version. This creates a topic misfocus that alters the original intention of the topic. The rewording must always be true to the original.That means not overstating the topic or changing the basis of the discussion.  
  
While it is nice to read the discussion instruction and question interpretation of the author, what the opening statement actually requires are sentence outline responses to both questions as these set the stage for the more comprehensive discussion paragraphs. That is sorely missing in the first paragraph.  
  
The discussion approach is appropriate. This is a well-developed comprehensive response that has just the right mix of presentations, transitions, and vocabulary to get a passing score or more. Word off caution though, do not over present the reasons. An additional reasoning topic at the end of a paragraph that does not develop further will reduce the score.
## technology brings fun to people

  
  
These days, technology devices become more and more popular with people all over the world. People spend time on using technology devices too much, even in their leisure activities. From my viewpoint, this statement is negative because of the fact that it is harmful for our health and keeps us separated from community.  
  
One obvious reason is that using technology devices continuously in long term is harmful for our health. This means, this can especially affect to our eyes. For example, when using mobile phone too long, the green light from mobile phone does harm to our eyes. Because of that we can cause some problems with eyesight. Moreover, using technology devices too much can prevent us from exposuring to the sunlight. So that our body can not get enough vitamins to strengthen our health.  
  
Another negative reason is that, separating from the community. This can be explained by shortening our relationship in both friends and families. For instance, during the gathering day in our families, we spend most of time using our mobile phones or watching TV. This can leads to the lacks of understanding in each members in our famlies, so we can sometimes feel alone due to the shortage of connection. Furthermore, we use technology devices even in our leisure time, so we do not go out to meet our friends face to face, it keeps us separated from each other.  
  
In conclusion, this negative statement should be solved to make our daily life better. Human being depend on technology leisure activities brings many drawbacks due to all above reasons.
There are times when a restatement + opinion should only be 2 sentences long. This is one of those cases. Base the number of sentences in the first paragraph on the original. Mirror that number as closely as possible. It should not take more than the same to rewrite and respond to the question. Save all other filler information for the reasoning paragraphs. Aim for total accuracy in the introduction and thesis section. Remember there instructions for next time. As of now, the paragraph presentation works in an imperfect manner. It still accomplished the task.  
  
The reasons presented have an uneven presentation development. My observation is that the first topic presented is usually fully developed in terms of basis, explanation, and examples. The second topic is usually not as well threshed out in both instances which can lead to C + C deductions. Avoid a second topic presentation in the paragraphs if not necessary to do so. It results in a negative impact on the score.  
  
A more coherent wrapup of the discussion should be provided. It must be an accurate short version of the preceding paragraphs rather than a "refer to above" reference as done here.
## Bullying is a big problem in many schools. Causes and solutions?

  
  
Since their introduction, all schools have had to face a common crisis, that of bullying. Whilst many have exerted significant efforts in search of plausible explanations and effective countermeasures, the problem still poses as detrimental of a threat as it always has. In accordance, this essay will discuss the main root causes and propose viable solutions.  
  
First and foremost, bullying may stem from toxic environments, in which children learn from the hostile behaviors of others. Copying is essential to development, playing a critical role during upbringing, hence the impressionable nature of youngsters. This, coupled with examples of antisocial qualities displayed by those in their surroundings such as family members, friends, or, neighbors would thus explain the reasons behind bullying. In addition, this negative phenomenon may also be inadvertently encouraged by a lack of proper punitive actions from authoritative figures. More often than not, perpetrators simply get away with a scolding and at worst, a beating, which does not leave any lasting impact on their mentalities. For instance, violence at school is usually met with a mere lecture from the principal, hence an increased disregard for consequences, encouraging the bullies to continue their abuse of others. In light of such mainsprings, a myriad of potential measures is available.  
  
Firstly, a stricter system should be implemented, increasing the severity of punishments and enforcing closer supervision. With this, not only will the cases of bullying detected and reported to staff rise substantially but the risk involved with such behaviors will also prove more apparent, deterring any future recurrences. Moreover, informative campaigns aimed at parents and adults for the advocacy of suitable, healthy conduct in the household should be organized. People will be allowed an opportunity to better themselves all the while setting positive examples for their children.  
  
In conclusion, bullying is caused by a variety of factors all contributing to its prevalence with the 2 most notable ones being toxic surroundings and inadequate punitive actions. Possible combative approaches include the introduction of a stricter system and campaigns aimed at informing guardian figures. Should society wish to resolve one of its most long-standing issues, proper attention and recognition by all parties involved is of the utmost importance
When writing these practice tests, the writer must ensure that he is doing so with a timer set at 40 minutes each time. That is to assist him in meeting the writing requirements of the essay, inclusive of the word count. It is not possible to write almost 400 words within this time frame based on the simple discussion requirements and 4 paragraph , 5 sentence requirement for each paragraph, within the task. It is not important to write a large volume of words when the discussion itself is empty of logic and reasoning such as this presentation. It is more beneficial to write a 250 - 300 word essay that has a clear thought process that will showcase the ability of the student to function properly in an English classroom setting. This is not a vocabulary writing exercise, this is a logic test. Can the writer explain himself in simple and understandable English without any exaggerations of over emphasis? Can he get to the point within a few minutes as he would be required to do so in an actual written class exam? The answer in this case, is no.
## UK and international students of information technology and international law

  
  
The bar chart presents the comparison in proportion between international and British students achieving second class degrees or higher at a popular university of the UK in 2009.  
  
Overall, there were huge differences between the number of UK and international students gaining second class degrees or HIGHER in information technology and international law. In six remaining subjects, the distinctions were inconsiderable.  
  
Looking at the data, we can see that the percentages of students who had electrical engineering and information technology 's second class degrees from the UK was approximately 60%, less than all over the world (80-85%). The NEXT FOUR subjects WERE illustrated a contrasting trend. The number of UK 's students in Art history and Sociology took up the same proportion (80%), more than 5-10% compared to the others. While national students who got degrees in international law were 70%, the foreign students only accounted for 45%. We turn TURNING to the last field which had the number of British students dominated - English literature, with 75% MORE THAN 20 % COMPARED TO THE OTHERS .  
  
Especially, about nursing and accountancy, the percentage of students achieving a second or higher degree with British citizenship was the same as total friends from many countries around the world for one field, there were 75% and 60% ,respectively.  
  
To conclude, in 2009 among a famous UK university, major exchange students were keen on information technology, otherwise, British pupils prioritized art history and sociology.
The writer has written a task 2 opinion essay instead of a task 1 reporting essay. A task 1 essay is first identified by the number of words, no more than 200, and second, by the analytical report presentation. These are different from the task 2 essay that has a minimum 250 word requirement and a thorough personal opinion discussion. The writer also shows a lack of understanding when it comes to creating the report because he uses all caps in certain instances of the presentation, which will result in a failing GRA score because that is a writing rule violation. All caps are used only in certain instances, but never in a report presentation for data. That is not how information is highlighted in a task 1 report. It is done through the use of proper professional and academic terminologies instead.
## **In many countries around the world, life expectancy is increasing.**

  
*Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this situation and give your own opinion.  
Write at least 250 words.*  
  
Longevity has seemingly constituted a blessing for centuries, but it has, in effect, both upsides and downsides. In this essay I will discuss them, including the idea of how life span extension sounds appealing to senior citizens and the painful truth of living a longer life. Overall, I think the disadvantages outweigh the advantages.  
  
On the one hand, increasing life expectancy is advantageous to a certain extent. First, it offers people opportunities to fulfill their wishes and obligations. Following retirement, the amount of pension received and spare time available can be made use of in order to make one's incomplete dreams come true, especially for those who are too occupied with workload in their earlier lifetime to travel to their favorite countries and keep a pet around their houses, for instance. Second, enjoying a longer life may induce a sensation of happiness. This is because elderly people have a tendency to show preference over observing the maturation of their offspring and grandchildren, which brings about nostalgia.  
  
On the other hand, the plus side of longevity appears to be just an illusion in reality. It is undeniable that the older humans become, the more likely they are to suffer from critical health disorders, so for most elderly people, special medical assistance is vital. Consequently, despite having an abundance of time, they may be stuck in bed due to a lack of physical conditioning which is a stumbling block to obtaining their intentions. What is more, it is currently a tendency for the young generation to send their parents into nursery homes because they cannot ensure enough time and effort for their children, let alone the elderly. This means the poor grandparents rarely have a chance to participate in raising the grandchildren, but resort to being surrounded by other old friends for the rest of their lives.  
  
In summary, weighing up both sides of the argument, I would say that although increasing life expectancy does have some desirable effects, including pursuing unfulfilled dreams and enjoying more happy moments with younger generations, the actual possible scenarios of diminished health conditions and tedious life in nursery homes more than justifies having it.
Why is the essay discussing centuries of long life? That is a misinterpretation of the topic for discussion and will immediately receive a failing mark in the TA section. The flowery words of the author do not help because he is inaccurately representing the discussion topic, requirements, and how these relate to his personal opinion. the essay has already received a failing score because of the incorrect restatement + personal opinion approach.  
  
The essay will definitely receive a failing score because the writer used a personal opinion to close the discussion. The summary conclusion requires the summation of the previously presented discussion paragraphs. It does not allow for the presentation of a new or continued discussion because a new discussion cannot be considered a summary. A summary is a recap of the previous presentation, which a personal opinion discussion does not accomplish. The essay does not have a chance of receiving a passing score because the writer was incapable of following the discussion requirements for the task and the expectations for the discussion by the examiner.
## The bar chart report

  
  
The bar chart reveals information about the percentage of customer satisfaction with airline agencies while the table illustrates statistics about five aspects of the flying experience during the years 1999, 2000, and 2007.  
  
Overall, client satisfaction increased considerably over the period given, whereas the number of dissatisfied people indicated the opposite. In any case, the courtesy of flight attendants showed the highest content compared with other aspects. The uncomfortable seats were the cause of people's disappointment.  
  
The proportion of people who felt satisfied with airlines in 1999 was 65%. One year later, it gradually rose to 69% before reaching its peak of 72% in 2007. By contrast, the percentage of dissatisfied customers decreased continuously from 32% to 24% in 2007.  
  
According to the table, travelers were most pleased with airline staff and plane schedules and least pleased with the seats. The data demonstrated that only 47% of travelers felt the seats were comfortable in 2007. Besides, there was no data shown from 1999 to 2000. Although the rate of pleasure of check-in/ gate agents fell in 2007, it tended to increase to 89% in the US during 2000. The satisfaction with the courtesy flight attendants grew to start in 1999 and was highest at 92% in 2007. Moreover, the satisfaction with ticket prices and schedules progressively rose by 20% and 4% respectively.
The statistics about airline agencies are a totally different discussion presentation from the 5 aspects of flying experience. Though both are connected to the topic of flying, these represent 2 different discussion ideas. It is because of the different representations that the ideas should not be presented in a single sentence. These should be presented in 2 separate sentences within the same paragraph to clearly represent the image focuses. These ideas should be identified with its accompanying image rather than as a collective statement. A collective statement does not always increase the clarity of the discussion topic presentation.  
  
The trending statement lacks clarity. It does not differentiate between the source of information (which image?) and how these measurements were collated (type of measurement). The trending statement was more confusing rather than useful and informative in this case.  
  
Use a uniform discussion presentation. Indicate which image is being analyzed in the paragraph. Make sure to anchor the image to a starting year to add to the authority and accuracy of the discussion. Without a uniform presentation, the paragraphs tend to confuse the reader with the information presented.
***Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world.  
Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to share freely.***  
## Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

  
  
Any latest pieces of information discovered in the scientific, business and academic world is considered better to be widespread to the public while others hold the opinion that they should be kept in confidence or shared only with a price because of their value and importance. In my opinion, any discoveries in each field should be made known to the masses.  
  
On the one hand, it goes without saying that the benefits of sharing will be enjoyed by the whole society, regardless of gender, race, religion and social status. If information is kept from being widespread, then the possible case is that only the elite and high profile people have the access to such precious and revolutionary breakthroughs. This may hold society back from making impressive strides towards the future as several pressing matters such as the ongoing plague, poor crop yields will not be timely tackled. For example, if the knowledge of the COVID-19 vaccine production had been maintained as a secret for profit-making, the mortality rate amongst those who unfortunately contracted this lethal virus would be much higher now.  
  
On the other hand, however, the disclosure of invaluable news discovered to the masses in a country or even all around the world would be of a great sacrifice to the company, organization or individual who poured a lot of their efforts, money time to bring it into the light. We humans all have to accept that in order to research or invent something, to crystallize a business theory or to try a new pedagogical method can cost an astronomical price tag, a huge amount of time spent in researching, analysing, going through trials and errors, not to mention the mental fatigue caused by long hours of working as well as unwanted failures. Moreover, the huge profit they can amass through their work is so enticing and can assure them a better life as well as the resources to satisfy their passion for further creations.  
  
Having said that, I believe there would be no big difference once their work is shared freely. Firstly, as long as it does good to society's well-being, there is no reason for the government to deny any petition for resources to conduct a new project. Secondly, the biggest happiness of an inventor who is really passionate about the job he is doing may not be derived from the money they will earn but how it can change the world for the better. Being recognized by a lot of people would be better than keep it to yourself and sell your work as a product. In this case, it means no more than a merchandise while if it can help people, it is invaluable and many people will remember you as, say, a hero.  
  
In conclusion, the merits brought about by keeping new information confidentially are all eclipsed by those of sharing because of all the humanitarian reasons behind this act.