dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
The writer has over compressed the summary information. The lengthy, mixed ideas presentation has caused a run-on sentence error. For this test, one idea /subject per sentence will bring clarity and a simple to follow discussion to the reader. The same cannot be said for the current GRA score reducing presentation. A complete paragraph needs at least 3 sentences in the summary. Additionally, the trending statement should be integrated into the summary presentation. The 3 paragraph essay is comprised of :  
  
Paragraph 1: Summary + trending statement  
Paragraph 2: Initial Image analysis  
Paragraph 3: Final image analysis  
  
The report is incompletely developed. It does not have the proper format and is not evaluated in the expected manner.
***The chart below shows the number of cars registered for the first time by fuel type from 2001 to 2016.***  
## Summarise the infomation by selecting and reporting the key features and making comparisons where relevant.

  
  
MY ANSWER:  
  
This chart hightlights 3 type of fuels used for the first time by registered cars from 2001 to 2016.  
  
Number of petrol used started at 2 million and has a downward trend in the first decade.  
After reaching a trough of approximately under 1 million in 2011, there was an increase of about half a million for the next 6 years.  
  
In contrast, the number of diesel used had slightly rose for 15 years before it fell rapidly by 1 million to 0.5 million within 5 years.  
  
By a wide margin, Alternative fuels was not used in the first decade. Instead, starting from 2011, it was moderately increase by about two hundred thousand.  
  
Marking it as the least poplar fuel used by car.  
  
*
The report does not meet the 150-200 word requirement for the task. Under former scoring guidelines, this would result in an automatic failing score. However, new guidelines allow for word count deductions to be applied while the other scoring sections are completed. This however, does not result in a passing score. It just means the score will not be 0.  
  
The chart type is not indicated in the presentation. The petrol types are not listed either. The paragraph formations do not use the minimum standards either. The analysis requires a longer observational report. The presentation fails to provide all data that may be used for scoring. The writer has notmack a true effort to pass the test.
## books vs TV

  
  
Some people spend more time reading books while others prefer to watch television. Some people believe that the former group is more likely to create creative imagination and a much better grasp of languages skills. Do you agree or disagree?  
  
It is said that books and novels the imagination and language skills much more than any TV program. I believe that, no matter what modern technologies are used on TV and TV media production, books are always better than TV. The reasons are simple, books improve more creative imagination than TV does.  
  
First of all, we have to admit that TV has its own impact on creativity and language skills. Because, TV programs has visual and auditory effects which is good for visual and auditory learners. Also, special effects exert positive impact on viewers and make them more creative . The next impact of TV is that, television programs can be exposed to languages through images and sounds which will boost reflexive abilities of learners which is crucial for babies or people which are new to a language. Another positive effect of TV is allow people to copy native style of spoken foreign languages which will meliorate their communicative language skills.  
  
On the other hand, there are more inclined toward books, First, there are no motion pictures, it will force readers to brainstorm to understand the contexts of the stories and their creativity and imagination will be sharpen. For example, the Harry Potter series of novels have allowed fans to create and construct their representation of the wizard world that is filled with magic and spells. The next reason to choose books is the information on TV often made dumbing down to be understood easier which will not a thought-provoking way. Next, books allow you to live in a make-believe world which is a form of escapism after a hard day of work. Also, when you are reading books, you will have an omnipresent access to languages, this is a important aspect of learning languages. The last reason for you to choose books is you can improve your writing skills when you are reading books. For instance, you can copy the way a writer write by reading their books.  
  
In conclusion, reading books is by far superior to watching TV in terms of creativity and language development because reading gives people total control of their minds. In a world flooded with information, the ability to control your thoughts is the key to improve oneself.
The writer must take note of the 300 word advised maximum word count for this 40 minute task to avoid increased writing errors in the presentation. At least 5 minutes must be alloted for editing and proofreading prior to submission.  
  
The writer shows a limited vocabulary based on his inability to use other words in place of books. Words such as, paperback, manuals, publications, and handbook, to name a ftersynonyms, would have shown a wider vocabulary for LR scoring. The first sentence of the paraphrase is nota complete thought process.It is meaninglessThe writer also did not provide a direct response to the question. Though implied, it still needs to be stated directly for scoring purposes. Do not attempt to be condescending to the examiner. There are already several reasons to fail your score based on the first paragraph alone.  
  
The overall discussion does not present a clear opinion either. A comparative neutral discussion does not respond to the direct question. One opinion must be chosen and properly justified.
## effects of longevity

  
  
In the present age, in addition to the improvement of the world, there is a sharp increase in the number of elderly people in many developed and developing countries which has had significant impacts on the growth of those countries. In my perspective, population aging has both benefits and drawbacks but the disadvantages outweigh the advantages.  
  
On the one hand, the rise of life expectancy has two major positive consequences. To begin with, it is obviously that older people have more experiences and acquire a larger amount of knowledge than the younger generation. Therefore, they have excellent leadership and are the most reliable person in charge of a country's crucial decisions and missions. Secondly, the appearance of an aging population creates opportunities for businesses to improve and expand by providing services for the elderly such as nursing homes, healthcare services. Thus, it leads to an important economic growth.  
  
On the other hand, there are several dangers associated with the increased number of elderly people and here are three remarkable drawbacks. Firstly, the population aging influences terribly on the labor productivity of certain companies. For example, because the elderly have health limitations, they cannot work at high intensity to speed up the product manufacturing process. Hence, the revenues of such firms will fall, and the country's development would be slowed. Moreover, the government is under financial strain because of social security benefits for the old people, as well as the influence on national security as there are not enough strong youngster to defend the country's border areas and fight the enemy if conflicts occur. Therefore, the explosion of elderly population is not only affects seriously the economy but also the society and security of a country.  
  
In conclusion, while elderly people offer certain economic benefits, they are also those who create unexpected matters for a country's growth. I'm wondering if the governments of each country should come up with solutions to cope with this problem.
The writer has altered the discussion presentation. The original instruction asks for a discussion of the advantage and disadvantage. While this was referenced in the interpretation, the writer mistakenly added another, totally different discussion point not previously provided.The writer decided to add a reference to : the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. Changing and confusing the presentation paragraphs in the process. His format requires 6 paragraph presentations while the original only needs 4 paragraphs.  
  
The writer also has problematic vocabulary usage.There is no reference to "positive consequences". The phrase contractis itself as " consequences" are the result of a "negative" action.  
  
It is difficult to assess if the essay responds to the original promptand how because the writer has created confusing reference points for the discussion. Discussion format alterations always result in failing level essays.
## **Computers are often argued to be the most important invention of the last hundred years.**

  
*To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?  
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.*  
  
There is an opinion stated that the innovation of computers is the most outstanding breakthrough over the past century. Personally, I strongly agree with this statement, due to enormous beneficial contribution that this technological device has made to the humankind's education and commerce.  
  
To begin with, computers inevitably play a pivotal role in the development of education. There are a number of applications on this gadget containing both educational and recreational values, taking Kahoot, for instance. Teachers thus might deploy these applications to create a more relaxing atmosphere during their lessons, which could boost the interest of students in acquiring knowledge. In addition, the invention of computers also encourage distance learning. This learning method is particularly valuable in difficult situations, such as the spread of Covid-19 pandemic at present.  
  
Besides, the innovation of computers also facilitates the international commerce. With the apprearance of this device, geographical barriers has been significantly eased. Therefore, enterprises are permitted to be more effortless in looking for their business partners and concluding contracts with them, whether two parties are living in a similar country or in different regions. Moreover, many online trading platforms are established on the foundation of computer invention, such as stock market. For that reason, the money flow, as well as the exchange of goods and services, is stimulated, resulting in the development of global economy as a whole.  
  
In conclusion, educational and commercial values are two root reasons why I totally believe that the appearance of computers worth the greatest invention that the humanity has witnessed over the past 100-year period.
The writer presents a clear understanding of the topic. The restatement is well-worded and shows a relevant word usage. The opinion follows the suggested response format. Discussion basis presentations are on the mark and increase the accuracy of the restatement + opinion paragraph.  
  
When writing based on personal knowledge the winter must include a short description when the example is native to his county. Explaining what and how Kahoot is used could have increased the clarity of the paragraph. The examiner is not familiar with the app so an explanation would have benefitted the C + C score.  
  
The writer mistakenly wrote a concluding run on sentence for his conclusion. He must be aware that this is a concluding PARAGRAPH not a concluding SENTENCE. It requires the same 3-5 sentence paragraph format comprised of the topic restatement, writer's opinion, and supporting reasons focus to fall under correct scoring considerations.
Topic: The tables below give information about sales of Fairtrade- labelled coffee and bananas in 1999 and 2004 in five European countries.  
Sumerise the information by selecting an reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.  
  
My essay:  
  
The tables compare the amounts of money gained from selling Fairtrade coffee and bananas in two years, 1999 and 2004 in five nations in Europe.  
Overall, sales of those products mostly increased between two years, except for the figures for the bananas sold in Sweden and Denmark. Interestingly, the UK earned more money from both coffee and bananas than any other countries in the area.  
  
The first table shows that, within five years, the United Kingdom became the largest earners from purchasing coffee, with only 1.5 million euros to reach the highest point at 20 million euros in 2004. By contrast, the figure for selling this commodity in Switzerland was doubled from 3-6 million euros between 1999 and 2004. In two places seals went up by the same amount: 1.8-2 million euros in Denmark, and 0.8-1 million euros in Sweden. Besides, the increment was slightly risen by around 0.7 million euros in Belgium.  
  
In the second table, the UK always ranked top, starting with 15 million euros in 1999 which jumped threefold after five years. Both in Switzerland and Belgium sales grew stably from 1-5.5 and 0.6-4 million euros respectively, while Sweden ad Denmark showed a different pattern, which decreases in bananas purchases from 1.8-1 and 2-0.9 million euros.  
  
*
## the television viewing figuers for sports by country

  
  
This table shows the number of people watching a television programme for sports by country, in millions . In general there are many differences depending on each country . The table shows that Tennis is watched the most by people with ... % . Especially, USA accounts for ... % with 7 millions . USA not only Tennis but also Golf and Athletics are watched the most . From the final column , the television viewing figures is the most of the country groups . In comparison , Canada is the lowest television viewing figures for sport with 14.5 millions and Motor racing is liked at very least that is the sport is watched the lowest of the television sport programme .
The writer did not put any effort into writing this paper. Since it only has 123 words, the essay automatically getra ffailing TA score due to its inability to meet the 150 word count. The user is not serious about his exam because this is only slightly better than a spam post. No image was provided for the review, the format is incorrect,  
  
no actual data is being presented, there is no analysis or comparison provided in a manner that shows the student was serious about this task. It appears the student is not serious about this test based on this joke of a presentation. This is a failed essay, but the user already knew that. Students who are not serious about their review have no place at this forum.
You should structure you essay in a better way in order to attain enough word counts.  
Usually a breif introduction for about 2-3 sentence paraphrasing the topic give. Provide significant information for the reader assuming they don't have the table.  
  
So you have to identify the table, and give some more exclusive data.  
On the second paragraph, give your overview on the trend or the some key features. Should not provide specific data and numbers. Only trends or grouping ideas for the following analysis.  
  
Then group your data into two main groups, by their trend or specific characteristics then start analyzing it by each paragraph (suggested 2 paragraph)  
This is a basic structure for answering task 1.
## Uk dwellers and media

  
  
The line graph demonstrates the percentage of UK population who are aged 4 years old following the radio and televison during the octorber - december period in 1992  
  
The figure illustrates the proportion of United Kingdom dwellers who are aged over 4 years old watching radio and broadcast media such as television throughout between October and December over a period of 1992 . Overall, it is noticed that there were mixed results of time about the change in how much time did childrens upper 4 years old follow radio and television , there was fluctuation significantly in the ratio of UK teenagers who watch television while the radio was a remarkable decrease from october to december.  
  
Obviously, It is clearly seen that between 6:00 AM and 6:00 PM , people in UK were tend to follow television fluctuate and then reached a peak in 6:00 PM at upper a half , nearly doubling that of radio at 35% people who pay attention to and there was increase considerably occupies 25% at 6:00 PM , decline at 10% over 13 hours in 1992.  
  
Apparently, in midnight , teenagers in United Kingdom were not toward radio attracted substantially and just remained stable between 8:00 PM and 6:00 AM and higher than the number of adolescent who pay attention to television the duration time and there was a rapidly decrease at 5%.  
  
*
The data presented includes false information about the measurement lbasis. The image and short report provided never indicated the inclusion of teenagers in the report. Regardless, the witten report makes several mentions of teenagers as a measurement basis or consideration. The essay is not task accurate due to this false information inclusion. Rather than specifically mentioning teenagers, a general non-age identifying population reference should have been used.  
  
Image identification is inaccurate as well. Task 1 essays all have "figures" provided. It is the type of image that must be properly identified ( line graph, bar chart pie chart, instructional illustration...). The task fulfillment of this report is really problematic and could very well cause a failing score.
The introduction should paraphrase the topic instead of copy it.  
Such as use "illustrates" "shows" "indicates" instead of demonstrates.  
The percentage of UK population could be replaced by "the rate of UK citizens using television and radio during October to December in 1992"  
and from the graph shown that this graph is on a daily basis, so it could be included in the topic.  
And you could try using "watch television" and "listen to radio" instead of using "tend to follow television".
***In many countries, the quality of life in the large cities is becoming worse.***  
## What causes this problem? What measure can be taken to solve it?

  
  
The quality of dwellers 's life is a slight drop day by day in a huge metropolitan area of a lot of countries . This essay will look at the reasons behind this and give some possible measures to overcome the problems of city dwellers.  
  
The underlying cause of residents ' life tends to go down slightly due to tax income increasing day by day so people who have a difficult life could be able to pay tax and gradually they will become homeless and live on either the road or corner . Moreover, they might not purchase some foods and clothes because the taxes are too high . Another causes related to infrastructure which is a complicated issues that almost people pay attention to , some engineers constructed high-rise building with poor quality materials and then few years away, there are some apartments , detached house become worse such as electric line is broken after over a period of 2 years used , peeling wall and a lot of problems will be occur in the future .  
  
One primary solve the quality of life is decreasing tax for almost dwellers in the place and bring about policy to promote residents ' life and offer preferential policies to people such as in Covid -19 , economic almost all countries declined significantly and residents not only without have a career but also make money so they might not pay the huge tax income and then it is considerably the government have to set up a fund to support the financial of needy people . Another solution to this problem is for the government to manage other infrastructures seriously and punish unprofessional engineers who constructed buildings without experience and enthusiasm .  
  
In conclusion, the underlying cause of residents ' life tends to go down slightly due to tax income increasing . Moreover, one primary solution to the quality of life is decreasing tax for almost all dwellers in the place . Personally, the government should have a useful plan to help people upgrade their quality of life.
The writer does not write in a natural manner. It has an almost robotic tone to it that the examiner may be led to believe that a translation software was used to complete the paper. The sentence structures are basic in set-up but the word usage tends to be off the mark, making it difficult to assess his point upon first reading. Most of the discussion can use more clarity. The writer needs to be comfortable when writing in English. His uncertainty affects his thought presentation. I am not confident that this type of discussion will be worthy of more than the lowest possible passing score.
Hi @Cuongnguyen543,  
Your ideas are good but I think you have trouble trying to get them across. Also, your sentences are too long. In your first body paragraph, there are only 3 sentences while there are only 2 sentences in your sencond body paragraph. Long sentences are OK as long as they are understandable and clear. I think it's better if you split your long sentences into short ones and then use more transition words or phrases to make your writing more fluently.  
  
Hope my feedback is useful to you. Bye.
***TOPIC: Some people think it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations.***  
  
## Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

  
  
It is believed that in a bad circumstance, the best decision is to live with it. Others, however, disagree and make an effort to improve the grim situation.  
  
Some individuals calmly accept an ill-fortune situation instead of trying to improve it. This is because they take the view that some things are out of hand and trying to control them is impossible. They then decide to go with the flow and be positive that valuable lessons can be gained from bad fortune. Take a friend of mine, who is an excellent football player, as an example. He got sick before an important football match but he calmly accepted it and stayed at home to rest. Although he loved to participate, he knew that even if he tried to play, he would either get worsen or hinder his teammates in the match.  
  
On the other hand, some think that making an effort to improve a bad situation is the best decision when facing a dilemma. These individuals are afraid or even paranoid of the negative consequences. For instance, a man lacking money may have nightmares at one point about being homeless, friendless, and unworthy in the future. Therefore, he tries to have more money by getting a second career or selling his assets. In other words, the man's nightmares motivate him to improve his grim circumstance.  
  
In my opinion, when facing a bad situation, the wisest action is to analyze the problem thoroughly. If the problem is out of hand, then waste none of your time or effort in improving it. If there is a chance to make it better, however, then do it.  
  
In conclusion, keeping a clear mind in an unpleasant circumstance is considerably important because being able to analyze the problem will help you choose the best course of action. Some things can be changed and improved but others are out of hand.  
  
*I have a question. The topic requires me to give my own opinion so should I write it in a separate paragraph or should I include it in my conclusion. Please answer and give feedback on my essay. Thanks in advance!!!*