dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
## IELTS WRITING TASK 2\_NEW PRODUCT

  
  
*IN THEIR ADVERTISING, BUSINESS NOWADAYS USUALLY EMPHASIZE THAT THEIR PRODUCTS ARE NEW IN SOME WAY.  
  
WHY IS THIS? DO YOU THINK IT IS A POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE DEVELOPMENT?*  
  
There has been a common assumption that more firms, investors and companies are trying to kickstart their brand new products into the market and make their labels have something distinctive from others. This phenomenon is attributable to many explanations. From a personal perspective, I firmly believe that this could lead to an adverse repercussion.  
  
There are two underlying reasons why businesses are heading into confirming the uniqueness of their items. First and foremost, companies need to have an intrigued commodity to compete with others. As we know, there are thousands of new industries engaging in almost every aspects on a regular basis. If your private company wants to be successful, it needs to have something different. Another driving factor that results in the demand of consumer. Given the proliferation of technology and supplied resources, people inadvertently ask for higher convenience and wider options to choose. For example, when we are able to drive a normal bike, we urge to have a better one to fix the recent mistakes of the previous item.  
  
I would content that the increase in making new goods may bring society some detrimental effect. To begin with, there is a host of stuffs that we will never use up in the future which is turned into waste requiring a huge amount of money to process. Additionally, some businesses try to create useless suppliers, thinking that it may help to improve the profit which occasionally go to the opposite site. Apparently, some new products are not guaranteed by any professional institutions that may do harm to the users. In fact, spending time on choosing different items bringing the same value considered to be time consuming.  
  
In short, competitive market and customer's demands are to blame for the emphasizing the exotic materials of businesses. I am convinced that this problem has a number of negative implications for the whole community in long-term scale.
There is a difference between the original topic and the topic restatement. The original topic highlights how companies call attention to product improvements. The writer thought this referred to "distinction " from other brands. The original topic did not involve competitor products. That means an incorrect reference was made in the restated topic. The discussion reference was unintentionally changed by the writer. The paragraph also fails to provide a solid reasoning topic to the first question.  
  
The writer also offers a redundant response to the second question. Adverse and repercussion both mean a negative result. One of the two descriptive words should have been chosen for use followed by the word "progression", an alternative to the word "development". The error in word usage in this and other sections will definitely reflect in an LR deduction.  
  
Both paragraphs have plausible reasons presented in relation to the original prompt. The weiter managed to get the discussion back on track for the most part. There is still the problem of the inclusion of competitors in the discussion when there should not be any.  
  
The relevant reasons do not represent well thought out and developed examples and explanations. There and too many reasons presented when a single reason would have sufficed.  
  
The scores are based on the way reasons are fully developed as an explanation. When too many reasons are presented, without proper validation, then the paragraph is under developed in terms of scoring considerations. The C + C score will definitely suffer in the end.  
  
The writer should improve on the points discussed here to improve his scoring chances.
## The forgotten identity of festivals

  
  
Some people argue that we no longer remember the original purposes of festivals, and most of them treat them  
as a opportunity to have fun. While I agree that enjoyment seems to be a main goal during festival times, I do not agree that people have forgotten the meaning of these festivals.  
  
On the one hand, traditional or religious festivals have certainly become a occasion for celebration. In VietNam, Hung Vuong festival is a good example of a festival period when people just pay attention to celebrate a party, have nice meals, and have fun with friends and family. Most people look forward to the Hung Vuong Festival as a day to enjoy a day-off rather than practice religion. Gradually, most people have just remembered the Hung Vuong Festival as a day for them to relax and have enjoyment.  
  
However, I disagree with the idea that the underlying meaning of such festivals has been forgotten. In VietNam primary schools, children are taught in detail about the religious reason for celebrating the Hung Vuong Festival. For instance, when the Hung Vuong Festival is coming, children will learn some History's lessons about the effortness which Hung Kings made to maintain peace for VietNam's residents and protect the country against the rivals. Thus, in the sense that people generally learn the stories behind these occasions at an early age.  
  
In conclusion, although enjoyment is a primary goal of them during festivals, I believe that they still have an awareness of knowing the reason why these festivals exist.
This is a single opinion extent essay. There is no room in the choices for you to take a neutral opinion, or for you to side with both. The best combined opinion you can deliver will be in the forum of a properly stated thesis opinion such as:  
  
*I disagree with this statement to the extent that there is always room for fun amidst remembrance during cultural holidays.*  
  
Note how in the above version, only one clear opinion is supported (disagree) even as I leave room to show that the other opinion has some merit ( to the extent that). The next paragraphs should combine a support for the reasoning opinion ( there is always room... )  
  
The second paragraph of this essay is actually quite good and contains 2 discussion points that would have properly supported the presented opinion. This essay would have scored well had you done that instead.  
  
As of now, the essay will be scored based a position of needing a more opinion reflective discussion. The current presentation is underdeveloped as the first paragraph is not single opinion supportive. There is no proper opinion reflected based on writing directions.
***In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying.***  
  
## To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

  
Write at least 250 words.  
  
In recent years, following the advent of the Internet, online newspapers and E-books have become more prevalent and widespread than ever. It is commonly speculated that they will eventually take over traditional printed books and newspapers. In this essay, I will give my opinion on why I think such a scenario is not possible.  
  
It is undeniable that online newspapers and books are free, and so they are available for everyone. In addition, they are more accessible, as it is easier to take out your mobile phone and read on the go.  
  
However, anything that is cheap comes with an expensive cost. Online newspapers may, at times, turn out to be poor quality and nothing of more value than a tabloid. It therefore takes a lot more effort to find a good digital newspaper than to buy a printed one. E-books require electronic reader devices in order to read comfortably, though they are not only pricey, but prone to break as well. Second of all, buying printed newspapers and books help directly support the writer or the author that they love, while digital ones do not really create any connection between the writer and the reader. Last but not least, printed copies of newspapers and books give people a sense of belonging and attachment, which the online counterpart clearly lacks.  
  
In conclusion, while there are certain benefits to digital books and newspapers, I believe that in the future, printed ones will still be used as widely if not more than today.  
  
(251 words)  
  
*Is it possible for this essay to reach 7.0? Are there any mistakes or possible things to be improved? Thanks in advance!*
There is no possibility that this essay can achieve your target score as there is a clear disconnection in terms of hour you understood the writing instructions. Rather than offering a proper extent of agreement or disagreement response, you changed the discussion format to: *I will give my opinion on why I think such a scenario is not possible.* That response has nothing to do with the discussion instruction.  
  
The response to the question, as well as the response format is not related to the provided instructions. Prompt alterations such as these indicate a weak English comprehension ability and is always given a failing TA score.  
  
Therefore, although there will be some points credited for the other discussion sections, and the reasoning paragraph seems to offer a related explanation to the prompt, the writers opinion is still not properly indicated anywhere, in relation to the required response format. That is still a major TA problem that relates directly to the C + C score. The only score this essay can receive is a failing one as it failed in a major scoring consideration section, causing a ripple effect in the other scoring aspects.
You should rise your own opinion in the introduction to make it clear.  
The first body paragragh is absolutely in a wrong structure, you know you should write the two body parts equally. For example, you can write the first one with the first reason from your perspective with some explaination and one example. Similarly, you write the sencond reason for the next one with the same structure. That will be much more easier and represent that you are well-known about the writing instruction. Anyway, you can find some other way, this is just my recommendation.  
  
Finally, in the conclusion, I think that it is kind of short and in this part, you should reconfirm about the topic and give out your personal ideas one more time.
*Writing task 2:  
**Some people think that governments should ban dangerous sports, while others think that people should have the freedom to do any sports or activity.***  
## Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

  
  
Many people are of the opinion that extreme sports should be formally prohibited. However, no one should interfere with their hobby choices as it is one's freedom to take up any activities they want. From my perspective, risky sports should be strictly managed and only limited for the professional.  
  
On the one hand, many severe injuries may arise due to accidents while playing extreme sports, which explain the reason players are required to finish all the training programs so as to start to play the sports safely and avoid accidents. Either excessive training or accidents from these dangerous activities, namely sky diving can lead to bruises and injuries, even worse, damage the bone structure, and take a long time to recover. Besides, extreme activities also require qualified equipment, which are extremely expensive as these specialized protections are used by professionals. The total price for taking up a sport could cost a fortune to people who only see it as a leisure activity.  
  
On the other hand, the satisfaction from these thrilling activities is undeniable, which encourages people to try and experience the roller coaster of emotions. Everybody has the right to do what they want, and no one should deprive them of their freedom. Once they decide to take up these sports, they have to accept any risk that may arise, and address it themselves. In addition, the dare to take up extreme sports enables them to boost their self-confidence, and simultaneously enhance their fear management skills, which is really beneficial for developing relationships. Moreover, as dangerous activities require intense concentration and flexibility, the calories burnt during these sports are higher than others sports, which help people to keep fit and avoid obesity.  
  
In short, it is undeniable that extreme sports are dangerous and may cause fatal accidents, especially for non-players and amateurs. However, the satisfactions and benefits it creates is overweight the risk that may arise, then the better solution is to require the observation of the Government instead of officially restricting them.
The prompt paraphrase reflects only one of 2 stated opinions. The writer, having written over 300 words still responded to the essay prompt in a format only partially related to the discussion. The TA score will definitely be a failing one due to the paraphrase and discussion response being format non- compliant. The rest of the discussion shall receive a non-passing score as well as the overall discussion does not reflect the " discuss both points of view " part, just the personal opinion section. The essay will recieve only a partial score for that. The length of the essay does not prove useful due to the prompt deviation in this case. There is no sense in over-ariting when the written text doesn't meet the prompt requirements. The writer failed to compare the validity of his text with the original presentation topic and instructions.
## the values of teaching history

  
  
History appears to be one of the immense values showing the spirit and life of each nation throughout the course of history. Nonetheless, the purposes of studying this subject is still controversial, sparking off a debate about whether history becomes useless in contemporary society or there is information which people should know by history. This essay will discuss these viewpoints and voice my opinion.  
  
It is undeniable that there is the higher demand in emphasizing specific aspects rather than history in the modern life. Compared to some respects such as technology, science or economy which can decide on countries' development, history is stories in the past that are theoretical and have limited use for advanced society. Additionally, some anecdotes in history seems to be not plausible and accurate enough. This has left many controversies among scholars.  
  
Nevertheless, there is a hold perception that history offers overwhelming advantages for people in today's world. First of all, people can perceive their origin and how their countries were changed and developed during distinct stages by learning history and reading historical materials. For instance, Vietnamese generally appreciate and feel proud bravery, achievements and unity of their ancestors throughout history. Simultaneously, when learning history and realize fault of the past, the same failing will be avoided, ensuring the development and safety of many countries in domestic and international issues.  
  
To sum up, no matter how useless history can be in modern world, it still contains information which is useful for most people. From my perspective, history should be passed into subsequent generations in the light of it's immense values.  
  
Do you think I can get 5.5 with this essay? Thanks for your help!
In my opinion, this still isn't a 5.5 essay. The prompt paraphrase does not accurately reflect the original discussion points as the first sentence is a statement that reflects personal insight. The paraphrase actually starts in the second sentence. The first paragraph needs no more than 3 sentences reflecting:  
  
- Public opinion 1  
- Public opinion 2  
- Personal statement  
  
A proper restatement reflects only the provided discussion points. Any additional comments creates an inaccuracy in prompt interpretation.  
  
Due to the provided instructions, the essay should have 3 comparative paragraphs. The 1st 2 shall explain /discuss the logic behind each public opinion. Once the writer has proven that analysis, reflecting a public opinion through proper pronoun usage, the writer may then decide on a personal opinion witten from a first person perspective (GRA related). This essay fails to differentiate the talking points of view, causing confusion for the reader as all paragraphs represent a generally first person opinion , without proper grammar references.
## cinema visitors numbers

  
  
IELTS Task 1 The line graph shows the percentage of different age groups of cinema visitors in a paticular country.  
  
The line graph illustrates the guests of four indivisual groups divided by their age in a certain country during five different years. Over all, the youngest group which represnts age 14 to 24 was the majority of the visitors of the movie theater over 1978 to 2008. In contrast, the oldest group was not really into watching movies in the cinema during the period.  
  
Looking in the data in more detail, the people in 1988 were less likely to go watching movies comparing to whom in 1978. This led to a massive decrease of the number of visitors. However, things had gotten better since 1998, more and more people were willing to go to the theater. Consequently, the figure shows a noticeable growth. During 1998 to 2003, the number of clients of the cinema remained steady. Finally in 2008, the oldest group which stands for people over 50 years old had a slightly rise while the others fell.  
  
To all who clicked into this page, this is my first attempt to practice IELTS writing test. I'm still learning and practicing to fulfill my goal. Thanks for your advice :D.  
  
*
This is a good first effort. The writing shows that the author analyzed the content for the presentation, but lacked guidance in terms of formatting and word count. These problems can be easily addressed and corrected.  
  
The writer must take note of the basic Task 1 paragraph format. That is, a single image analysis should cover no more than 3 paragraphs. 2 comparison images can be analyzed over 4 paragraphs (if applicable). Additionally, while the minimum word count is 150 words, the most ideal word range is within 175-200 words, written within 20 minutes. This is the word count that can bring maximum scoring considerations provided the analysis presented is on topic.  
  
That said, the formatting error in an otherwise strong analysis presentation is easy to spot.. The summary overview would have also benefitted from a more thorough listing, not discussion of the 4 age groups provided. Afterall, the summary paragraph requires the presentation of the basic data that will comprise the analytical paragraphs. The paragraph division could have been:  
  
Par. 1 : Summary overview + trending statement  
Par. 2 : Comparison of group 1 and 2  
Par. 3 : Comparison of group 3 and 4  
  
There is no concluding paragraph requirement for a task 1 essay.
## IELTS Writing: History and science

  
  
***Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History.  
  
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.***  
  
It is often argued that learning History is considered to be great of significance, while some people believe that other subjects such as Science and Technology are more useful nowadays. In my opinion, I believe science and technology are beneficial in favor of world's advance.  
  
On the one hand, learning history can be extremely rewarding. First of all, history is the experience of ancestors which is conducive to making decision. To illustrate, the history of world war depicts many strategies of succeeding in the fight, this experience prevents people to make second mistake. In addition, it is undeniable that history is the base of culture which represent various nationalities. In the primary school, children absorb this knowledge to build cognition of the world.  
  
On the other hand, science and technology are much more important than history due to the advance of world. Currently, knowledge from science is essential to enhance the quality of society in many aspects such as medicine and construction. For instance, people are vaccinated to be immune to viruses which is a great advancement in science. In terms of construction, railway systems and skyscrapers are the research result of technology. With the advent of those, human culture can last for a long time with conquering many difficulties, and become the dominant creature in the world.  
  
In conclusion, I believe learning history can get experience from the past, but learning science and technology are more important because they create the future with more practical knowledge.
The essay must provide at least 250 written words to avoid pre-scoring deductions. This presentation has not met the prescribed written word requirement. The examiner will have no choice but to apply word number deductions to the score. As this is done in relation to TA accuracy, the exam taker is risking starting the scoring basis from a failed score. As the writing is quite brief and does not follow the discuss both public points before explaining the writer's point of view, the essay cannot recieve full scoring considerations.  
  
The discussion instruction for this type of essay is always comparative in format. To be precise, the writing formula is:  
  
Public opinion 1 + Public opinion 2 = Personal Opinion  
  
The writer must detach himself from the public opinion reasoning for the first 2 parts and instead, clearly show a general analysis (3rd person pronoun) of the public opinion:  
  
*The people who believe that... do so because... They appear to support this stance because... While this discussion has value, it is important to analyze the group that counters their opinion.  
  
This opposing group says... These people explain that ... It is not for them to ...  
  
After analyzing both opinions, I have come to the understanding that... That is why, I am of the opinion...*  
  
The sample above highlights discussion clarity and cohesivenews between paragraphs. The personal opinion must effectively reflect aqquick comparison reference to the public opinions that led to a concute opinion/support for one of the 2 views.
## many teenagers these days prefer socialising online to meeting one another in person

  
  
It is simple to notice that a large number of teens nowadays choose to stay at home and communicate with their pals online. There are several causes for this trend, in my opinion, but I believe it is mostly due to societal evolution. However, I am convinced that a variety of measures may be taken into account in order to substantially avoid Internet addiction.  
  
To begin with, the social landscape has shifted drastically. As a result, various electronic gadgets were presented to the public, and several online social platforms, such as Facebook and Twitter, were established. People may readily communicate with those who live far away. As a result, kids will be able to make acquaintances with a large number of individuals from all over the world. Teenagers have more freedom of expression in social media without any protestion. Furthermore, these online platforms generally offer user-friendly interfaces and appealing features. Instagram, for example, provides a plethora of filters that allow users to enhance their look without using make-up.  
  
As someone who knows a lot of kids who are addicted to online socializing, I believe there are some options to explore. First and foremost, I believe that schools should try to organize more outside activities aim to actively encourage students to interact with their peers. Furthermore, the government should enact rules allowing individuals to use social media for a limited period of time.  
  
I am certain that this is not a beneficial trend since individuals may lose a significant portion of their genuine relationships. To promote awareness, each person should be informed about the drawbacks of excessive use of social media.