dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
**and separate them from each other.**  
## Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

  
  
My essay:  
In these days, many planners have/show a tendency to sort shops, schools, offices, and homes in particular areas and separate them from others. In my point of view, the upsides outweigh the downsides.  
  
On the one hand, there are some drawbacks of this statement. To begin with, this plan requires too much money and time to carry out. Nowadays, there are many developing countries and undeveloped countries so this is a big challenge to them. Moreover, it also makes people anxious all the time. For instance, if home and hospital are far away from each other, citizens may suffer from long commuting time.  
  
On the other hand, this idea also has many benefits. First and foremost, it helps people work more productively. For example, students can study well and comfortably without distraction, noise so that they will get high marks in schools. Secondly, this idea reduces accidents thanks to specific areas. Staffs go on the streets that lead to offices, doctors have their own ways to the hospitals, etc.  
  
In conclusion, while arranging shops, schools, offices, and homes in specific localities has some disadvantages, it also has many advantages.
It is unfortunate that this essay only has 188 words in the presentation. The severe under word requirement resulted in an immediate failing TA score for the essay. The 250 minimum word count was not met. The TA score preliminary deductions will simply not be overcome by the actual score of this essay. since TA compliance sets the grading trend for the essay, I am afraid the failing final score of this essay cannot be helped.  
  
The discussion paragraphs need help. An effective A/D essay would be able to clearly explain its point of view through the proper debunking of a perceived advantage as a disadvantage. The basis of which would be believable examples and supporting opinions / details. Needless to say, the essay fails to properly and believably defend the opinion statement provided at the beginning of the presentation.
@thaovy  
It might be easier to list the points that you are going to say before writing the whole essay. Try to transform those ideas into topic sentences, and then come up with some examples. Make sure to check whether the examples precisely support the topic sentence. For example, one of the advantages is that the tourists can directly go to the shopping districts without bothering the local people. This example can support the notion that separation may improve the living quality of citizens.  
  
Honestly, I am not a professional writer, and I am still learning how to write better essays, too. I am just sharing what I have currently. :))
I'm preparing for the CAE exam, I have some difficulties at the Writing part and I need some feedbacks.  
  
Here is the task:  
A leading educational publisher is interested in language learning in different countries. You have been asked to write a report on foreign language learning in your country. In your report you should deal with:  
  
- the languages poeple learn,who learns them and where they learn them  
- recommendations for improving language-learning in your country  
  
## Write your report.

  
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**Introduction**  
The objective of my report is to analyze the importance and the influence English-language TV programmes have in Czechia, to explain the effect these programmes produce and to make recommendations of how the situation could be improved.  
  
**Popularity of imported programmes**  
The amount of programmes watched in Czechia, coming mainly from the USA, have increased significantly during the last years, and that could be explained by different causes.  
  
Firstly, it's caused by fascination and apparent consumption edeavours of Western culture since the times of communism when this was the forbidden fruit.  
Secondly, the new phenomenon of TV platforms like Netflix, HBO and others becomes more and more common in average Czech households. The stories are narative, well-written and extremely catchy. Moreover these platforms provides no adds which caused that Czech TV programmes became intolerable.  
  
**Effects on local culture**  
The percentage of English-language TV programmes is easily recognizable within Czech society and the local culture is heavily influenced by them. If you walk throughout any street in Czechia, you will hear someone talking about the last TV shows like Game of Thrones, Lucifer or Rick and Morty. The people have quickly accepted that this TV shows are much more important and so much better than the local ones.  
  
Due to the lack of Czech dabbing in most of this new series, people are forced to listen the original voices of the actors and passively learn English, which, in my opinion, is the best by-product of this international platforms.  
  
**Recommendations**  
I think the government should have cancelled all the TV programmes like ČT1, ČT2, Nova, Prima, etc. and sell the old and new Czech films and series containing english subtitles to the international platforms (again I have to highlight Netflix as the hot candidate due to its' inevitable popularity in this land).  
  
As I mentioned before, due to the enormous amount of adds, likeability of Czech programmes is rapidly decreasing and instead of to continue this decay, let's do a step forward, embrace internationality and show our culture to the world.
The report itself should be written in an actual essay format using no more than 220-260 words. The writer has only presented a brain-storming outline at this point. It cannot be scored based on the scoring criterion. Based on the outline, it is clear that the student did not understand the report requirements.  
  
Original Report Requirements :  
- the languages poeple learn,who learns them and where they learn them  
- recommendations for improving language-learning in your country  
  
Report Focus:  
- analyze the importance and the influence English-language TV programmes have in Czechia  
- to explain the effect these programmes produce and to make recommendations of how the situation could be improved.  
  
The report content obviously does not lend itself to the original reporting request. The difference between the 2 are night and day. The writer totally misunderstood the requirements. As there is no "failing" CAE score, the writer, based on the score to be recieved, will still understand that his English skills are not good enough for the purpose he intends to use it for at the moment. He cannot be hired professionally, and he will have difficulty entering a school for continuing education as well because these places have minimum CAE level considerations of their own.  
  
The writer must improve his English understanding / comprehension skills. Perhaps start by writing English elementary level essays first, slowly working his way up to college level analytical, article, and opinion writing essay formats.
***Many people argue that in order to improve educational quality, high school students are encouraged to make comments or even criticism on their teachers. Others think it will lead to loss of respect and discipline in the classroom.***  
  
## Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

  
  
Essay:  
People hold differing views about the merits and demerits of taking high school students' judgment to their classroom factors as a measure for educational development. While some believe that it might exert negative impacts for teachers to give youngsters rights to voice their thought, I would argue that the students' opinion brings explicit advantage to the quality-process of school.  
  
On the one hand, there are several main reasons why it is argued that it is needless for educators to get assessments from high school students. The main justification behind this support is that the subjective feelings of students influence far more teachers than the improvement quality purposes. A female high schooler, for instance, might evaluate their professor's performance as poor just because of the old fashion style. Furthermore, some trouble-making students may put on a contributive front but inside they criticize their teachers, which poses a potential threat to the mentality of educators and their future lessons. It is usual in the classroom to cause animosity situations and this can be illustrated by the students, those who tend to be apathetic in class and always easily getting attention from their teacher because of their impishness.  
  
On the other hand, I still hold the opinion that the encouragement of students valuating straightforwardly their instructors brings more benefits and should be prompted. The key explanation for my protest is that getting feedback from students is an authentic resource to hone the educational institution. It is crucial for teachers to listen attentively to their students both positive and negative thoughts and acknowledge the problems students facing. If a student complains about their teacher, that teacher will need to take it reconsidering, adjusting, and responding appropriately for their long-term career. Additionally, to those students who have attacked voice to their teacher, it is no more shortcut way than knowing the reason and find the solution for that. Aforementioned, teenage schoolers might tend to favor to the good-looking teachers with high fashion and deny the nostalgic one and this could be solved by an extracurricular lesson about fashion and respect to personal opinion of style. By extension, students' feedback is a lift for teachers to alter the flaws, adapt new modifications in their teaching path, and penetrate students better.  
  
In conclusion, although people believe that getting student's feedback bear adverse effect, it seems to me that feedback for educator brings visible positive advantages for the mentioned reason above.
The first sentence of the paraphrase is confusing. I am sure that the sentence made complete sense as the student thought of it in his native tongue. Unfortunately, vernacular language never translates well, word for word, into English. The student will do well to get used to thinking and writing in English to better develop his language based thinking and writing skills. The actual presentation misses out on the proper restatement development. 3 sentences are needed to restate and state:  
  
- POV 1  
- POV 2  
- Personal opinion  
  
All 3 become the basis of the required 3 reasoning paragraph. The prompt restatement plus opinion paragraph is incomplete.  
  
The general discussion does not use groups references to indicate the comparative and analytical sections/ paragraphs of the essay. The lack of proper pronoun references implies that all the opinion presented are strictly writer point of view based. The division and voice of . development is incorrect. The essay will still be considered for scoring. It may even get a passing score. However, this is not going to recieve more than average scores throughout because of missing writing elements related to the GRA scores.
## water used for different purposes

  
  
The pie charts compare water usage for industry, agriculture and domestic in six areas of the world, North America, South America, Europe, Africa, Central Asia and South Asia.  
  
It is apparent that agricultural water used accounts for the vast majority in most the countries, except Europe and North America where have the highest proportion of total water usage.  
  
While the water used for agriculture at over 80% in Central Asia, Africa and South-East Asia and accounts for 71% in South America. This figure accounts for almost a third of total water use in North America and Europe. On the other hand, water used for industry in Europe and North America, in turn, accounts for 53% and 48%, higher than five other areas of the world. By contrast, the figures for water consumption only less than 15% in South America, Southeast Asia and Africa. Especially, this amount in Central Asia is the lowest, only 5% of using water.  
  
With the regard to domestic water use, dramatic differences are not seen clearly between Africa and two areas of Asia, where the proportion are at 9% of African water used while both Asian areas account for the same proportion, at 7%. Notably, this figure in North America and Europe are almost twice as high as in Central and Southeast Asia.  
  
*
The summary overview has accidentally been presented as a run on sentence. There being 3 seperate sets of information presented, each topic should have had its own sentence to keep the information in that section clear and easy to follow. That would have also been the format that better delivered the analysis writing instruction to the reader. The lack of clarity in that presentation affects the C + C section while the lack of writing instruction reference reduces the TA score.  
  
The first sentence of the first half of the report is missing a subject. There is no meaning to that presentation because of the incomplete sentence presentation. For clarity, the word " While" at the start should have been ommitted.
## the effects of video games on youngsters

  
  
Young teenagers are likely to lose track of their time on playing video games so they spend less time on doing physical activities. I will give you an account of the reasons and I think this phenomenon has negative effects.  
  
First and foremost, the biggest reason is the development of urbanization and industrialization. Computer games play a crucial role in our lives to help people to ease their stress and let their hair down. However, young adults waste their time to glue their eyes on it without spending time doing exercises. Secondly, because parents are up to their ears with their work, they do not have enough time to remind their child to attend outdoor activities. For example, if parents take a yoga course for their offspring, child will be more motivated to take part in  
  
It has two main negative developments for young adults if we do not have the solutions. First, one of the major issues related to this is that children will suffer from some diseases like heart attack and eyestrain. For example, they could not do strenuous and backbreaking types of labor when they grew up. In addition, the burning and itchy sensations will be great trouble. Second, another serious problem is that children with a sedentary lifestyle tend to be anti-social because they prefer to stay in their rooms to play games rather than hang out with their friends, leading to an isolated society.  
  
In conclusion, computer games are played more time by youths than sports for two reasons mentioned above and it seems evident that this development will do harm to them
It would appear that the writer tried to develop his own writing prompt based on a popular task 2 practice topic. The student did not know how to develop a proper topic and response scenario for the topic. That is why the Issay provided is confusing to the reader. The writer did not consider that this topic always uses a cause and effect writing format. That is why the discussion provided is incomplete and not really applicable to a task 2 essay application. Had this been an actual test, the writer would have failed based on an incomplete discussion presentation.  
  
There are always 2 reasoning paragraph presentations. The writer cannot provide only one aspect of the discussion as that would make the essay fail in the TA (prompt adherence) and C + C discussion presentation sections.
## commuting to school charts

  
  
The pie charts compare the rate of people commuting to one university by five means transport in the year 2004 and 2009.  
As can be seen from the charts, while car was the most favoured mode of transport in 2004, the majority of people travelled to the university by bus in 2009. Also, train was the least used method of transport in the two years.  
  
In 2004, over half of travellers to the university were car users, followed by 33% of those commuting by bus. Meanwhile, the percentages of cyclists, walkers, and train passengers were 9%, 4%, and 3%, respectively.  
  
The 5-following-year period witnessed a roughly twofold decrease in the proportion of individuals driving to the university, while the opposite was true for the figure for cyclists. In the meantime, the rates of bus and rail travellers were 46% and 4%, correspondingly, in comparison with 6% walking to the university.
How many images were provided and how were the information sections divided in the chart? How was each chart identified? What was the combined or individual measurement basis? These are but some of the pertinent information missing from the summary overview. Essential data elements were ignored in that section. The result? A summary that does not actually help inform the leader in the most understandable and concise manner.  
  
The reporting paragraphs do not show evidence of extensive information analysis either. With each paragraph using only 2 sentenceseach, most of the writing is based on the GRA deduction causing run-on presentations. The writer needs to become more familiar with proper intermediate to advanced sentence presentation skills to overcome that shortcoming in his writing skill.
Please help me fix this essay. Thank you so much!  
  
Is space exploration worth it?  
  
In recent decades, the competition among developed countries in space exploration has been becoming a growing trend. Although this trend is not without its advantages, authorities should consider to invest more in other urgent aspects, which is beneficial for citizens in the long run.  
  
There are several reasons to explain why governments are likely to invest a huge amount of money in space discovery. First, thanks to the development of this field scientists can be able to gain knowledge about universe, which might lead to a big advantage in the future. For example, learning about planets and stars can help us find solutions for some of the problems such as overpopulation or even the need to colonize new planets. Second, artificial satellites are considered as a useful tool in modern society. It is the fact that they are used to for many aspects such as defense purposes, which enables authorities to maintain a peaceful world.  
  
Otherwise, some negative effects of this trend should be taken into account. It is true that space exploration is costly with few direct benefits. Many studies show that the direct intellectual gains from researching about far away planets hardly compensate the costs. In addition, there are many urgent issues should be given priority. For instance, governments could invest much more in prevent global warming, reduce crime rates and find a cure for cancer, which helps increase the standard of living for human beings.  
  
In conclusion, vital problems should be the priority in the investment policy of every country instead of space exploration. Governments should allocate fund more reasonably.
While the writer manages to meet the wword count requirement and presents some good arguments, I am afraid the essay is not worth a passing score. The writing prompt asks for the writer to support his measured agreement or disagreement with the given topic. The extent of his support for one opinion serves as the overall discussion focus. The author seems to have forgotten the writing basis as originally provided because the essay developed was instead, based on an alternative and non-related instruction. The writer instead wrote about the advantages of the investment. The lack of relevant response will lead this essay to be scored as an unrelated response. The missing TA adherent response opinion Was to be the basis or foundation of the discussion. While the essay maybe scared based on the presentation, full marks will be withheld due to the inappropriate discussion development.
## Bar charts about employment in the UK

  
  
*The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaveing college in 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.*  
  
The charts above give a brief statistical view of what graduate and postgraduate students with no full-time jobs did after finishing their courses in college in 2008 in the UK.  
  
As can clearly be seen from the charts, the destination that most of these students landed on was further study, which nearly 30000 graduates chose to do and almost 3000 postgraduates did. Following right behind further study, part-time work was the second most chosen option by the UK seniors and post seniors, with approximately 18000 and 2500 students respectively. The number of uunemployed ones was fairly high among the graduates, which was 16235 students, closely equal to ones that took on part-time jobs. Meanwhile, this unfortunate option among postgraduates was quite low compared to the figure of those who chose to do part-time work and further study, around 1600 students. Predictably, the one which most students would not choose to do was voluntary work. Only 3500 graduates and 345 postgraduates did it.  
  
To sum this up, the UK graduates and postgraduates are mostly out of full-time workforce due to further study, which will benefit the workforce after they are done with their studies. Meanwhile, even though the number of unemployed students was quite high, the ones that chose to do voluntary work were not that much.  
  
*213 words*  
  
*
The writer must be made aware that he has overwritten his task report. The task 1 essay requires only between 175-200 words. He has written enough words for an almost complete task 2 essay instead. As the task 1 essay allows for a mere 20 minutes of writing time, the task must be completed with lesser words but with ample information clarity.  
  
The writer must also identify the type of chart and number of charts provided. There is a lack of image differentiation which confuses the reader. Each chart provides a specific information type, which is normally used to identify the paragraph report focus. Each paragraph should be within a 5 sentence presentation only. The 2 images provided indicates that this is a 4 paragraph analytical report presentation. The writer should not compress differing information within a single paragraph. That type of format makes it difficult to keep track of.  
  
The writer is offering a concluding statement towards the end. A presentation that is reserved and required only for task 2 essays. Rather than a summation , this task requires a trending statement instead. It is that statement which is missing in this report presentation.  
  
The writer certainly has the potential to score well in this task exam. More formatting familiarity can assist him in achieving more than just a passing score.
## WRITING TASK 1 ACADEMIC The table analysis

  
  
The table compares the data on forested land in different continents from 1990 to 2005, measured in millions of hectares.  
It is evident that the vast majority of the forest was denser in Europe and South America than in other areas, while the area of forest in Europe increased during the period shown, the opposite can be seen in other regions.  
  
As far as Europe is concerned, the forested land of which initially stood at 989 million hectares in 1990, which was ranked in the first. It then rose by merely 10 million in 2000. Five years later, in 2005, the figure showed a minimal growth to 1000 million which was far larger than that of Oceania (197 million). The area of forest in Oceania was the smallest among others, which fluctuated around 200 million throughout the period shown.  
  
As is illustrated from the graph, the forested area in North America was more than 700 million, followed by a small rise and reached a plateau of 705 in 2005.  
  
Thank you for your feedback.  
  
*