dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
## two charts to compare with description

  
  
The pie charts illustrate people's choices of means of transportation to travel to a university between 2004 and 2009.  
  
Overall, there was an increase in the number of people opting for a bicycle, public transportation, and walking as the main methods to access the university examined; meanwhile, an opposite trend can be seen in the figure for car usage. In addition, the train and walking choices had consistently the least figures throughout the period.  
  
The percentage of bus options started at 33%, after which it saw a significant rise to almost a half in 2009. Furthermore, only 9% of people chose bicycle as the main mean of transportation to travel to the university in 2004, with a subsequent two-fold to 16% 5 years later. As a result, the figure for people using cars declined considerably from 51% to 28% over the period.  
  
The proportion of people walking to the university increased slightly, ending at 6% in 2009. A similar change can be seen in the figure for those opting for train, which rose from 3% to 4% over the 5-year period.  
  
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The number of pie charts must be accurately stated along with what year it represents to help differentiate the image comparisons later on. Written in the current manner, the report does not address task clarity due to the lack of information separation.  
  
More comparison clarity is needed. Report on the years individually within the last 2 paragraphs. A more coherent trending statement would have delivered a more sufficient comparison overview. Do not confuse the reporting paragraphs by jumping around the half decade year references. Learn to group the information to achieve a clearer report.  
  
Trying to combine the year information idea was not a good idea in this case because of the confusing nature of the presentation. Focus on developing your C + C skills when writing your next practice test as this is your current weak spot.
## Damage due to Hurricane Katrina

  
  
Hurricane Katrina is the one of the most dangerous hurricane in the history of U.S.A ,It's worst damage was in New Orleans , It caused $100 billion damage and 1,800 deaths. The hurricane was 19-foot storm surge broke through the city's flood walls and the levees. The failure of New Orleans's flood-protection system was blamed on engineering flaws . Hurricane Katrina impacted about 90,000 square miles.
Word capitalization rules were not followed in the writing of this statement. A capital letter cannot follow a comma unless the next reference is a proper noun. That is the only instance when a capital letter may be used after a comma. In terms of sentence presentation, the writer is prone to excessive comma use which created a run-on filled paragraph presentation. The statement does not represent a balanced mix of commonly used sentence presentations.  
  
In reference to the data presented, the writer needs to refer to at least a partial breakdown of what comprises the amount of damage. A hurricane creates a storm surge, but a storm surge is not a hurricane. These are 2 different things related to cause and effect scenarios. The writer needs to enhance his vocabulary skills in relation to this mistake.
## average monthly spend on children's sports

  
  
The line charts provide changes on the british childrens's sports expanditure, measured in pounds currency and changes on how many british children who favoured various sports namely, footbal, Athletics, and swimming, measured in million for a six years period of time from 2008 to 2014.  
  
In general, the amount of money spent for british children's sports, also the number of kids who favoured swimming saw a gradual rise. Simmilarly, athletics and football also had an upward trend but they tend to fluctuate over the period.  
  
To begin with, all three different sports favoured by the british kids had an upward trend. Swimming stood at just under 2,5, then it increased gradually reaching approximately at 3,2. On the other hand, footbal and athletics they had a fluctuation. they stood at just over 7,5 and nearly zero respectively in 2008. Having increased fluctuately and by the end of the period they ended at just under 10 and almost 5 respectively.  
  
Simmilar to the kids who favoured swimming, the british kid expanditure on sports also inclined gradually. it started at 20 pounds in 2008 and ended just over 30 in 2014.  
  
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The summary overview is quite confusing to the reader. It fails to clearly state the number of line graphs and what each graph represents There must be 2 seperate image summaries indicated for this purpose. The total sentence number should be no less than 3 to achieve this objective. This is an insufficient summary.  
  
Consistent spelling errors will lower the LR score of this presentation. Failure to spot and correct these mistakes indicate both a lack of quality control in the writing and insufficient knowledge of English words. These can add to confusion when trying to iunderstand the paragraph content.  
  
The lack of proper image content separation in the paragraphs leave the reader wondering where the information came from. By not correctly providing the image sources, the paragraph loses both coherence and cohesiveness.  
  
The essay is not well written. The aforementioned problems can very well result in a failing score. These areas of concern must be improved upon in the next practice task.
I hope I have appliced the advice given by the consultant. Please tell me whether the will score well/passing or not.  
  
## how patients evaluated health centre services

  
  
The table below indicates the evalution done by patients in the Longston, Peveril and Marchbank health centers. Overall, Peveril was regarded as the best health center in all services, followed by the Marchbank center. The services provided by the Longstom center was evaluted as the worst by patients.  
  
To begin, the Peveril center was regarded as close to excellent in the quality of services provided with an overall average of 8.3 across all services. Although, pharmacy and care of children had the lowest rating between the given services in the center, scoring 6.3 and 7.5, respectively, its response to concerns and booking appointments were the fields where the center was miles ahead of the competetion with near perfect ratings of 9.6 and 9.1, respectively.  
  
Meanwhile, the Marchbank center recieved an overall average of 7.2 and the Longston centre got only a 5.8 average rating. While their best rated service was the doctor's service, evaluated to be 8.4 for Marchbank and 8.0 for longston, which was not far from Peveril's 8.7, response to concerns was evaluated as the worst service for Longston and pharmacy the worst for Marchbank at 4.3 and 5.8, respectively.  
  
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Where is the list of services for comparison in the summary? The reader has no idea what you begin to report on later on. The summary of relevant content could be better detailed. The review is inconsistent in presentation. There are also spelling errors that need correction.  
  
This is a rushed review. The writer must pay attention to writing rules, spelling, and content quality. The first version is never the final version. It is the point where improvements to presentation, content adjustment and changes, as well as grammar correction should be done. The 2nd version might be the final copy if time does not permit a 3rd review.  
  
There will be reduced scores in some sections of the essay. The score will be low but still passing. If you have a particular score to achieve in mind., this essay may have slightly missed the mark. Contact me privately for details about comprehensive scoring reviews.
***It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age.  
## Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction.

  
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?***  
  
in this day and age, children's mental and physical development is one of the most prevalent topics. it is said that punishment is essential to discipline children at an early age. from my point of view, parents should not use strict punishment on children; on the other hand, finding approriate teaching methods is much more significant. in this essay, i will support my opinion with some examples.  
  
to begin with, many researches indicate that punishment does not help children to undersand their problems. it is widely accepted that slapping, beating and scolding cannot correct childrend's behaviour; otherwise, children become misbehaved and averse to any discipline from their parents. in this case, punishment totally gives no effect to building children's good behaviour  
  
another reason why i disagree with punishing children is that this kind of discipline negatively cause physical and mental damage. beyond being ineffective, punishment leaves injury on children's bodies and prevent the development of brain. in addition to physical hurt, punishment like yelling or scolding increases hormones called toxic stress, which makes children feel stressed and depressed. it may lead to a serious consequence that children become more vulnerable and isolated from society.  
  
instead of using punishment on children, there are many other ways to help them learn acceptable behaviour. one outstanding way that doctors highly recommend is calmly explaining. parents should consistently point out children's faults and show them the consequences if they misbehave. listening to children additionally makes them feel more comfortable and take notice of what parents say.  
  
in conclusion, i personally think that punishment is not an effective way to teach children good behaviour. parents ought to be responsible for discovering other approriate ways to educate their children.
The writer does not offer a related topic paraphrasing nor a relevant extent response in the first paragraph. It is only partially relevant in response to the second question. It is not a solid response as it is not delivered in the correct response style. Full marks for this section will not be received. The response is mostly incorrect due to the lack of measured emotional response.  
  
The writer will receive a failing score in the GRA section for failing to meet English writing standards particularly in relation to word capitalization. Every first word of a new sentence must be capitalized. The essay could very well get a non-passing final score because of this oversight.  
  
I will stop my review at this point. The writer shows no sign of making an honest effort to pass the test. Reviewing this will be a waste of time. Come back for a review when you are already serious about passing the IELTS test.
## select and report main feAtures from the graph

  
  
The graph illustrates how much paper, wood pulp and sawn good were manufactured in the UK between 1980 and 2000.  
  
Overall, there was a decrease in the production of wood pulp and sawn good, while a dramatic rise was seen in the manufacture of paper & packaging. It is clear that paper & packaging consistently had by far the highest figures throughout the period, with a considerable increase was witnessed in the latter of the period.  
  
The amount of paper & packaging produced in the UK starts at around 230 million tonnes, after which it saw a slight rise to 250 million in 1990. By contrast, 200 million tonnes of wood pulp was manufactured in 1980, with a subsequent significant decline to 150 million in 1990. A similar change, but to a lesser extent, was seen in the figure for sawn wood, which decreased from approximately 170 million tonnes to 150 million tonnes.  
  
From 1990 to 2000, the amount of paper & packaging continued to increase sharply, reaching a peak of 350 million units. A milder growth was seen in the figure for wood pulp, hitting a high of 160 million tonnes. Conversely, sawn wood production dropped to roughly 130 million tonnes.  
  
*Thank you for helping me to correct my essay!*  
  
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The summary overview is not off to a good start. It is missing important elements such as the measurement reference. The ideas are over-compressed into a single sentence which does not reference a properly structured sentence. All summaries must be 3 sentences long to increase the writer's chance of delivering a more cohesive summary.  
  
Information accuracy is a must. This includes word spelling. The writer shows a lak off qquality control in relation to that. Spelling error corrections were not accomplished because word proofing was not performed on the draft copy. He correctly references "sawn-wood" later on but deductions still need to be applied for the earlier incorrect spelling.  
  
The comparison discussion is not complete. Sawn. wood and wood pulp have equal data presentation in 1990. A crossover reference that should have been highlighted in the presentation as a very important highlight.  
  
There are several negligible problems in the presentation. However the effect will only lower the final score. It will still get a passing grade. Do a more thorough analysis next time and remember to corect errors to further lessen deductions.
***In the modern world, it is no longer necessary to use animals as food or other products, such as medicines and clothing.***  
## Do you agree or disagree?

  
  
In the modern world, various individuals hold a belief that consuming animal products such as food, medicines, and clothes will be unnecessary. Despite the theoretical benefits of this proposal, I disagree with this opinion.  
  
It is understandable why some people believe that animal products will be redundant in the future. Due to the modern technology of science, researchers can create a mixed variety of advanced medicines that do not condo tain of animal features. However, my personal opinion is against this proposal due to the following reasons. First and foremost, some patients can not access manmade medicines because of the financial budget. Additionally, producing this type of medicine takes time longer than using natural creatures. For example, a few categories of illness such as cough, stomachache, and earache,... can be solved by some type of body parts of animals.  
  
Some opponents might argue that wearing clothes and consuming food gained from animals can lead to the o extinction of natural habitats. This view looks plausible at first, but from my perspective, using products from animals can bring more benefits to the user. First of all, the nutritional value in animals can outweigh the valuation of not natural products. For instance, researchers from Stanford University in 2019 have compared the value nutrition of oysters with a pill that contains ingredients extracted from oysters. While an oyster can bring 120 testosterone f me a pill just can bring 78 testosterone. Additionally, wearing clothes made from leather-like crocodiles, and sheep,... is a way to advertise the natural beauty of animals  
  
In conclusion, although dot usiuseimals products can bring some benefits, it is not advisable to implement this proposal in reality.  
Thanks for your time.
The opening paragraph uses too many memorized phrases from the original. These direct cut and paste references will definitely affect the task accuracy score of the essay. It is important that the restatement avoid any and references to the original wordings because those will not reflect his comprehension and rewording skills properly. He is also making a reference to  
  
theoretical benefits of this proposal  
which is not indicated in the first version. Therefore the prompt restatement has become inaccurate in relation to the discussion basis. The lack of a clear reasoning statement to back his opinion did not help this paragraph either. The prompt restatement + personal opinion is a failure.  
  
An inability to form proper English sentences and the writer's unfamiliarity with English word usage will further add to the reasons why this essay will fail. The errors could be caused by one of two reasons:  
  
1. Unfamiliarity with English words and its meaning;  
2. Lack of proofreading skills. He did not review the draft, look for mistakes, and correct these upon detection.  
  
These are but a few of more than several other problems that the writer is facing with his essay writing. Solving these problems will require more than just vocabulary building and free essay reviews. He must enroll in ESL classes to address his English language shortcomings.
***The prevention of health problems and health illnesses is more important than treatment and medicine. Government funding should reflect this.  
## To what extent do you agree?***  
  
Healthcare remains to be a heated debate throughout these recent centuries, especially in the Covid-19 pandemic. While numerous civilians state that governmental aid should be given in precautions of health problems rather than in medical treatment, I strongly believe that the funds be flexibly divided as they are equally important to human wellbeing.  
  
On the one hand, preventive health care improves public health in the long-term. To put it another way, preventive care means catching problems before they become real problems. By early endowing funds to this approach, the government would lower the potential possibility of patients infecting diseases, especially the chronic ones such as type 2 diabetes or cancer. Take regular wellness checks as an example, in doing so, you would have your blood pressure tested regularly. If your healthcare professional notices that it's increasing, you can start doing things to lower your blood pressure before it becomes problematic, thus, lessening the long-term cost of disease management and saving a huge amount of funds from the national budgets aided in experiments.  
  
On the other hand, treatment plays an important role when a preventive method is ineffective. Precisely, medical therapy is generally considered to be management and care of a patient to combat disease or disorder. Therefore, the administrator bodies presumably pay the earth for launching a full-scale investigation into a disease for it to become a lifelong knowledge that could be applied in treatment for even more than a century. The patients could then be satisfied with the assurance of their well-being sustainability, having said that the medical treatment is available after being carefully examined under unmeasurable time and funds.  
  
In conclusion, government funding should be aided in preventive healthcare in a great amount. Nevertheless, funds in disease treatment could not be overlooked. The authorities should consider a wide spectrum of all possibilities to determine what means the best for local communities.  
  
(Thank you very much! **What band would I score with this essay, please?**)
The first sentence in the restatement paragraph is score reducing as it offers a personal opinion where it should not be provided. It removes the accurate restatement of the original prompt topic. The prompt topic should be restated over 2 sentences with the writer's opinion being the 3rd sentence presentation. No added but unsupported claims should be found anywhere in the presentation.  
  
The writer has provided a strong opinion thesis but not a direct emotional response to the question. He has in effect, changed the discussion topic to one of his own design. The overall restatement and accuracy response is now incorrect as it no longer aligns with the orginal presentation. This is no longer a relevant and passing score essay.
Not a pro but here are some tips. Sentences like numerous civilians sounds very mechanical and memorized, better to use simpler words. That being said the original question prompt does not mention people's opinion but rather is a statement itself.  
  
Better to use accurate ideas for answering the question prompt, such as agreeing and then using the idea that funding preventive medicine costs the government in the long term as the first topic and governments focusing more on treatment and medicine will not remove the main cause of disease as the second idea.
## IELTS WRITING TASK 1 - Map

  
  
***The diagrams below show changes in Felixstone in the UK between 1967 and 2001. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.***  
  
The pictures illustrate how the town Felixstone in the UK changed from 1967 to 2001.  
  
Overall, the seaside town underwent a number of dramatic changes, the most important of which are the disappearance of farmland, the development of amenities catering for recreational activities, and the demolition of the port beside the beach.  
  
In the northwest of the town, the golf course and the shops to the left side of the highway remained, while the shops on the opposite side were demolished to make way for the development of the apartments. The farmland in the northeastern area was transformed into an amenities complex, with a swimming pool, a hotel, and two tennis courts.  
  
The southeast of the map also saw dramatic changes, with the marina and the pier being transformed into a public beach, and the fish market being converted into a beach catering for private use. In the southwestern area, a tree was cut down and some wind turbines were built along the side of the beach. A parking space was constructed next to the hotel in the center of the downtown.  
  
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Include the number of images used in the original. Even though the years that are indicated would be a indirect reference to the number of images, a direct representation will not hurt since the main focus of the summary is information clarity. There should also be a more different way of addressing the years covered. It sounds too much like a cut and paste right now. Vary the reference point whenever you can. Avoid a direct citation of the original to show sentence structure control and word variation abilities. The same observation applies to the location reference.  
  
The writer shows a severely limited knowledge of punctuation usage. He must strive to vary the grammar range of the presentation through the use of other punctuation macks. The second paragraph in particular is GRA problematic. However, the description provided is still clear and on point throughout. Even with the existing errors, this essay may still recieve a good score.