dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
**Some people think that being able to communicate with others online is breaking down geographical barriers and enabling people, who would normally never have the chance to meet, to communicate.  
  
What are the advantages of international communication online?  
Are there any disadvantages to this?**  
  
In this modern world, many changes are appearing especially the easy access to communication by using the internet. People commonly talk to a stranger via online that they never see in person before. This trend turns up an assumption that online media tearing down the constraint among states all over the world. I do believe that the internet brings certain benefits for society, yet there are drawbacks may occur behind.  
  
There is no doubt that the world is developing very fast over the last decades. It can be seen that the internet turn to be a primary need for modern people. Firstly, social media offer us the easy way to explore the whole world from where we stand. An Internet user can meet many people from another hemisphere. They can also learn a lot of culture from multiple countries at the same time. Secondly, online communication leads us to share information to the world. Everyone can write any opinion or view on the internet and share the up to date news that happening in their region. For instance, in 2012, Bromo Mountain in Indonesia had an earthquake, immediately almost all of people over the world knew about it via online news. Finally, social media help us to find who disappear for a long time such as an old friend.  
  
However, side effects of social media may harm for our life, if society cannot use it properly and carefully. First of all, the internet facilitates virtual criminal to do a snow job by abusing people's trust. Several people easily trust other people even they have not met personally. In addition, everyone can steal other details then use it to deceive the other one. Many photos captured and shared to social media, criminal use the photo to draw the wool over eyes on someone and then do some deception. The last, by using online chat too much, it may change inhabitant's habit. Societies have a tendency to communicate on the air rather than talk in person. This cause decreases empathy feeling fellow humans.  
  
To conclude, many benefits that can we receive by online communication as long as we can control it. Nevertheless, some disadvantages also can turn up caused by the personal user or moreover abusing detail information. Therefore, individuals have to be more careful during using the internet.
Dear Fauziyahtami, here some advices for your writing, feel free to correct my responses,  
  
many changes are appearing -->  
*There are several changes happened, particularly to the....*  
  
that they never see in person before -->  
*that they have never seen in person before*  
  
offer us the easy way -->  
*offer us the fast track*  
  
... meet many people from another hemisphere -->  
*... meet many people from other continent*  
  
Hope it helps you to improve your writing,  
  
Regards
Hi Fauziyah...  
  
... especially the easy access to ~~communication~~communicate by using the internet.  
  
... the internet turns to be a primary need ...  
Firstly, social media offers us the easy way to (...) social media helps us to find who disappear ...  
  
..., criminal uses the photo to draw the wool ...  
  
*I suggest you to reduce your words because it is too much*  
  
Good Job..
**Writing Task 2 (What Are The Advantages Of International Communication Online)**  
  
the novel invented technology like internet and radio base station influences people's life to do various activities easily. In this case, it has benefits to communicate without face to face directly and give chance to all individuals communicate with their friends who live far away. I strongly believe that communication online has more advantages compared to disadvantages.  
  
The primary merit of international communication is to connect easily with all of people across the globe. This is because internet and radio base station is coming out radio frequency that is spread in the world to help individuals do communication with their friends or family who live in distance. For instance, nowadays, there are various sophisticated applications and tools such as social media and mobile phone that help people to connect each other indirectly. On the other hand, people in the world do not need to do long journey for knowing regard of their friend and family because of internet and radio base station. There is no doubt that the modern technology has important role to connect all of individuals easily.  
  
Besides, the drawbacks of online communication can not be denied, this case has several disadvantages too. Firstly, it can reduce the meaning of social life due to the fact that all of people tend to communicate with their sophisticated gadget without face to face directly. Secondly, people tend to become apathetic because they know regard and information on the internet. Lastly, all of travel agents like Lion air and Garuda will loss their profit commonly because of the international communication online. People prefer use their modern tools to connect the others compared to doing long journey with travel agents and wasting much money.  
  
To sum up, i strongly believe that international communication online has more advantages compared to disadvantages because of communication easily.
Please help me to check my grammar to improve my writing..thank you for your help...  
  
Creativity and literacy are very important in education. Both of them take a big role for developing student especially at school. For instance, a girl draws the face of God at her drawing book when the teacher asks her for drawing. Eventually, the teacher said that nobody knows God's look like, but the girl said that she has the face of God in her minds. It is the evidence of how strong the creativity is. Some people believe that if people do not have creativity, they will grow as a autism person. Education helps people to develop their creativity, so they will be oriented and educated. Moreover, every educations in USA and all over the worlds have same hierarchy subject. The main purpose of public education around the worlds is to produce university professors. Our education system is predicated on the our academic ability and that is the reason the whole system was invented around the world although they were no public service on education is real before nineteenth century. To sum up, it is imperative that people who live in this era should help the young generations to catch up their future.  
  
source: TED talk by Sir Ken Robinson
Hello gigih  
i have a couple suggestion for you. is it ok ?  
well these are my corrections for you.  
  
Moreover, every education~~s~~ (it should be writen education because if you use every or each in the first paragraph. it is ended singular) in USA and all over ...  
  
... the worlds is to produce ~~university~~ professors (i dont get the meaning as reader, it is redudant).  
... were no public service on education ~~is~~was (it should be past) real before nineteenth century.  
  
thank you.
*The media pay too much attention to the lives and relationship of celebrities such as actors, singers, or footballers. They should spend more time reporting the lives of ordinary people instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?*  
  
The media such as television and radio usually shows daily life and love life of celebrities such as actors, singers, or footballers. Actually, they should take a time to report the ordinary people's life too. I believe that ordinary people have the interesting life to publish because they have many inspirational stories like celebrities. But, the celebrities lives are more important than ordinary people because they have influenced other people through their job as public figure since many years before.  
  
However, there are ordinary people who media should report because of their achievement or their interesting lives. They can give the positive impact to people who watched them. For example, the ordinary person named Fatia Izzaty. She has come from ordinary family but her family is always using English languange every day so that she can speak fluently. Because of her English, she can contribute to youthex in other countries. If her stories show in media, many people will inspire from her stories and can be a role model for many families to adapt her way become a great person even she is an ordinary person  
  
On the other hand, public figures such as actors, singers, or footballers are more important to media because their job appears on television every day. Many people have watched them so that media pay too much attention to them because people who had seen them want to know about their lives. For instance, Maudy Ayunda who become a singer since high school usually has appeared in media not only because of their achievement as a public figure but also her inspiring life as a student of oxford university. As a result, she can inspire people because she has known as a public figure and has many achievements in life. People more concern about people they know than other people who hey did not know  
  
In conclusion, media should pay attention to ordinary people who have the interesting lives so that people can take the lesson of them. But, the celebrities lives are more important because of their job as a public figure and most of people have influenced by their activities since they have been known.
Hi. this is my suggestion.  
  
For instance, Maudy Ayunda who become a singer (...) not only because of their achievement as a public figure but also her inspiring life ...  
  
you has mentioned a person before, but why you use pronoun "their" for subject [Maudy]. may it should be "her"  
her inspiring---> it better if you change with "she"  
of oxford university ---> it better if you use preposition "at/in"  
use conjunction to connect your sentence (if has more than one clause)  
usually--->better you use present tense  
  
e.g: For instance, Maudy Ayunda who become a singer since (she) (was) (in) high school (and) (she) usually (appearances) in media(,) not only because of (her) achievement as a public figure(,) but also (she) inspiring life as a student (at) oxford university.  
  
good luck
Hello ifra! I will give you some opinions about your essay.  
  
Introduction:  
(1) ... radio usually shows **the**daily life and love life of celebrities ...  
(2) ... the interesting life to **be** publish**ed** because...  
(3) ... people because they have **a strong** influence~~ed~~**to** other people  
  
Body 1:  
(4) However, there are ordinary people **activities or life** who media should ...  
(5) She ~~has~~ come**s** from ordinary family but her family **has a good habit by**~~is~~ always using English languange  
(6) Because of her English **fluency**, she can contribute ...  
(7) If her stori~~es~~**is** show**ed** in media, many people will **get** inspire from (...) to adapt her **good** way **to** become a great person  
  
Body 2:  
(8) because their ~~job~~**activity** appears on television every day.  
(9) Many people ~~have watched them~~~~**really attract them**~~ so that media pay too much attention to them because people who had seen them want to know about their lives.
**The erosion in the headland (writing task 1)**  
  
The changes of the headland which are caused by strong tidal have been illustrated in the diagram. The most noticeable fact is that the power of sea in the coast contributes to erosion in the cliffs. This process consist of four main stages which will be explained specifically in the next paragraph.  
  
In the initial stage of a headland erosion is began from water beats erode the rock and create a weak area. Over the long time period, this weak area becomes a small cave which resemble in the arch. Take one example of this case is Durdle Door in the Dorset. Eventually, the water strong affects the fall of the roof stack and divides in two pieces, the first is 'stack' and the second one is 'stump'. As a result, the tidal continues to induce the erosion and threat the headland. Also create other weak areas. Finally, the process continues as a natural process. (155 words)  
  
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Hello,  
I suggest taking a look at the sentence structure you have made, there are ambiguous sentences which distract the reader from focusing on the topic.  
  
ex: As a result, the tidal continues to induce the erosion ... should be like this : the tide continues to induce the erosion and threaten the headland.  
  
this is grammatically correct,however, the meaning of this idea is unpredictable according to what you wrote.  
  
Thank you
Hello fadhil! I will give you some opinions about your essay.  
  
Introduction:  
(1) ... is that the power of **the** sea in the coast ...  
*Do not forget to use article 'the' when only one of thing exist, such as the Earth, the sea, the sun*  
(2) ... will be explained specifically **in the next paragraph.***try to give summary brief about the process or better do not mention this sentence*  
  
Body 1:  
(3) ... erosion is began from **the** water ~~beat~~***water flow or current water or the wave*** erode the rock **near the ocean** and create a weak ~~area~~**spot**.  
  
(4) ..., this weak ~~area~~**spot** becomes a small cave which resemble ~~in the~~**an** arch.  
(5) Take one example of this case is Durdle Door in the Dorset. --> *You do not need mention any additional info on writing task 1*  
  
(6) Eventually, the water ~~strong~~ affects **strongly** the fall of the roof stack and divides **it** in two pieces,  
(7) ... induce the erosion and ~~threat~~**start destructing** the headland.
**Some people think that being able to communicate with others online is breaking down geographical barriers and enabling people, who would normally never have the chance to meet, to communicate.  
  
What are the advantages of International communication online?  
Are there any disadvantages to this?**  
  
In this modern era, the advancement of technology was more widespread and people now able to keep in contact with other people by using their gadget. In my opinion, the benefits from this simplicity are greater than the drawbacks we receive.  
  
There are several reasons why communication online very widely used for some people in this era. Firstly, this facility can be used for people to stay in touch with others, eventhough they are in different countries. For example, students who study abroad and far away from their hometown can use this facility to keep contact with their family and friends. Secondly, it is very helpful for busy people who can't have more time to meet other people in person. There is no doubt that by using modern technology we can stay to make a contact with other people who live far away from us.  
  
On the other hand, communication online also have a bad impact for human social relations. They may think that meet other people in a person is not important and they will ignore their social life. To illustriate, some people think that it is not necessary to hangout or having quality time with their family or friends. They prefer to sit at home and waste their time to make a conversation with people they will never see and ignore on establishing relationships in real life.  
  
In conclusion, therefore, I believe that the benefits of communication online outweigh the drawbacks because international communications online made people closer and easy to interact. However, this facility completely drawning human into the virtual world and makes them forget to build a good socialization with others.
Hi Goldvina, this essay would probably merit a 5 if you have it graded by your instructor. While the common grammatical errors are evident in your work, these errors do not interfere with the development of your idea presentation. While you need to further develop your presentation skills and improve the grammar for a smoother presentation, you were able to prove a number of things to the examiner.  
  
The first is that you understood the prompt clearly. Therefore, you have acceptable comprehension skills. You also have enough knowledge of basic English grammar skills that can assist you in developing simple, though flawed discussion sentences. So the paragraphs come across as understandable. These positive marks are what moved your essay towards a passing score.  
  
Problems in your essay lie in the way that you were not really able to present a strong enough introduction and conclusion. Keep in mind that the introduction must properly summarize the prompt and offer your opinion on the matter. You must also present an overview of your pro and con discussion. The introduction failed to do this.  
  
As for your conclusion, refrain from starting a new discussion in a conclusion. As the term suggests, a conclusion is meant to close the essay. Therefore, there is no need to present new information in this section. You just need to close the discussion by restating the important elements of the essay.
The questions:  
What are the advantages of International communication online?  
Are there any disadvantages to this?  
  
compares to your explanation:  
In my opinion, the benefits from this simplicity are greater than the drawbacks we receive.  
  
It did not have correlation between your answer and the question. There are double questions while your answer did not accurate to the question. I seems like your explanation in the first paragraph suitable with this prompt.**'Do you think its advantages will outweigh the disadvantages'**  
  
This is also happen in your conclusion. It means you have to understand the question before you start writing the essay.  
  
Your explanation in the body paragraph 1 and 2 is already correct.  
  
Keep writing and good luck.
**The diagrams below show the design for a wind turbine and its location. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant!**  
  
The illustrations show the process of generating electricity by using wind rotary motor that locate in the three different places. Overall, domestic turbine uses slower wind strength than two other turbines where it is located in the sea and in the hill. The fastest wind blows, the highest energy produces.  
  
The first wind turbine is placed in the land with some equipment on it, such as steel tower, blade fiberglass, wind sensor, generator, and computer. Firstly, wind blows over the particular part of turbine on the blades. The strength of wind blowing is medium. Afterwards, it is responded by wind sensors, in which computer is used to get information from sensor to adjust the position of blades. Wind sensor manages speed and direction of the wind. Then, wind will be generated by generator to produce 100 kilowatts of current.  
  
The second location of other turbine is in the sea. It has the same process with the turbine that is located in the mainland. It uses the maximum wind strength. The electricity that is released by the turbine is 1.5 Megawatts. Using the complex steel tower brings benefit, which it does not disturb the scenery view. The turbine tower three is in the hill. Wind come upon to the tower and pass the same process like other towers. It uses the same level of wind strength as turbine two. Both of these turbines produce larger current than domestic turbine. 250w  
  
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Hello, here is my advice for you:  
  
1. ... rotary motor that located in the three different places.  
  
2. ..., the highest energy can be produced .  
  
3. The second location of an other turbine is in the sea. (if you use other = turbines, maybe it is better to changeinto another )  
  
4. It has the same process ~~with~~as the turbine that ...  
  
5. ... turbines produce ~~larger~~bigger ...........  
  
You did it well! good job!
... wind rotary motor that ~~locate~~located in the three different places.  
... located in the sea and ~~in~~on the hill. The fastest wind blows, and the highest energy produces. you need conjuction  
  
... turbine is placed ~~in~~on the land...  
Wind sensor managesmanage or detect ?? speed and ...  
  
... the turbine that is located ~~in~~on the mainland.  
The turbine tower three is ~~in~~on the hill.
**Hi Anna.  
These are a few corrections to finalize your writing. Please, meet my notes and deal with them.  
GOOD LUCK  
:D**  
  
The ~~illustrations~~ PICTURES show the process of (...) rotary motor ~~that~~ locateD in the three different places. Overall, IT IS IMPORTANT TO NOTE THAT THE TURBINE CONSISTS OF FIVE PRIMARY ELEMENTS. IN ANY CASE, THE domestic turbine uses ~~slower~~ wind strength SLOWER than two other turbines where ~~it is~~ THOSE ARE located in the sea and ~~in~~ the hill.  
  
..., such as A steel tower, blade fiberglass, ...  
Firstly, THE wind blows over the particular part of THE turbine on the blades.  
... responded by THE wind sensors~~, in which~~ . THERE IS ALSO A computer ~~is~~ used to get information from THE sensor to adjust ...  
THE Wind sensor manages speed ...  
Then, THE wind will be ~~generated~~ HARNESSED TO GENERATE ~~by generator to produce~~ 100 kilowatts of current.  
  
~~The second location of THE other turbine ...  
... the turbine that is~~ located ~~in~~ ON (pay attention to collocation) the mainland.  
The electricity ~~that is~~ (you should reduce that conjunction) released by the ...  
... tower brings benefit~~, which~~ BECAUSE (you are supposed to order the proper conjunction) it does not disturb ...  
~~The~~ ANOTHER turbine tower ~~three~~ is ~~in~~ ON the hill. THE Wind comeS upon to the tower and passES the same process like THE other towers.  
  
Both of these turbines ~~produce~~ GENERATE larger current than THE domestic turbine. 250w
The ~~illustrations~~pictures show the process of...  
Before you put the overall, you have to paraphrase the question. Make sure you mention all information of two pictures.  
  
Overall, domestic turbine uses slower wind ...  
In the overall, you have to describe interesting fact of both pictures.  
  
The fastest wind blows, the highest energy produces.  
This sentence is not common, you can replace it become*'The faster wind blows, the higher energy produces.'*It has same meaning and more common.
**The design for a wind turbine and its location**  
  
The diagrams reveal information about how to produce electricity by using a wind turbine and what types of its location to generate optimum electricity. These features show that the turbin can be located in some areas. All in all, although the largest turbines can generate more electricity than the domestic turbine, the turbine which locates in the hill is more spoiled for the landscape than the domestic turbine and the offshore turbine.  
  
A turbine can be created by using some equipment which are a steel tower, three blades, a wind sensor, a generator, and a computer. Firstly, the blade can be made from fiberglass or wood. It must be installed properly above the tower. After being installed, it can be used directly to convert wind to electricity. Then, the wind sensor helps the turbine to read the speed and the direction of the wind and transmit it to the computer near the tower. Finally, the generator can start producing electricity untill 1.5 megawatts.  
  
The next diagram shows some optimum locations to build turbines to generates maximum wind. There are three different types of location, which are in the steep hill, domestic area, and offshore area. The wind turbine which is buld near the the domestic area, has the smallest size. It can only produce 100 kilowatts. Meanwhile, the other large turbines can generate maximum wind strengths. (226 words)  
  
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