dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
Hello guys, this is a toelf writing question and i'd like your opinion about it please :D One more useless thread title = BAN  
Question:  
It has been said, "Not everything that is learned is contained in books." Compare and contrast knowledge gained from experience with knowledge gained from books. In your opinion, which source is more important? Why? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer  
  
Although quite different, it is undeniable that both books and experience provide us with rich and solid knowledge. Their importance and role have sparked debate among scholars and scientists. Some would agree that books are the primary way to obtain knowledge, while others consider experience as being more efficient and reliable, which makes picking one option above the other tremendously hard. However, the quote in the question perfectly reflects my point of view on the matter, which I'll elaborate on in this essay.  
  
First of all, humans have long relied on experience to acquire knowledge. Indeed, we have not always had books to provide us with techniques on how to survive, make food or treat an injury. Therefore, experience was the only solution for us to develop those skills. Cooking, hunting or building houses were always taught through experiences. For instance, it was only by rubbing two pieces of wood against each other did we learn how to make fire.  
  
Secondly, experimental knowledge is tangible. Unlike the theoretical knowledge, we obtain through academics, knowledge gained from experience is more practical and beneficial to perform everyday tasks. Personally speaking, I've built my knowledge through books and academic materials I studied in university; therefore, I was totally unfamiliar with the professional life. When I started my first job, I was utterly lost and incapable of coping with the stress that comes with a job. Only then did I realize how useful experience can be.  
  
Moreover, experience is a unique way of acquiring knowledge and learning new things. As the quote states, I firmly believe that books can't cover all aspects of life and therefore experience is much needed to develop special skills. Through trial and mistakes, experience teaches us how to be cautious and avoid certain things. For instance, when a child touches boiling water and realize how painful it is, he is most likely not to repeat that action again, to avoid the pain. We need to touch the teapot to know whether the tea inside is hot or not.  
  
In conclusion, I believe that both books and experience present their own advantages and give us the necessary knowledge in different ways. I favor experimental knowledge over academics for its efficiency, but I also do believe that a combination of both would be the key to solid knowledge.
A TOEFL test does not require a flowery and empty topic restatement. What sets it apart from the IELTS test is that an imemediate discussion should be found in the first paragraph. No restatement, just the personal opinion basis and starling explanation.  
  
There are some rules that apply to both tests though. The writer should avoid the use of contractions in writing as this reflects negatively on his formal wiling skills. While an academic tone and writing style are not formal requirements, keeping in line with those specifications helps the examiner assess how one might perform academically in class.  
  
Using group pronouns in a single person reference setting should be avoided. Avoid speaking for others as they cannot be represented within the writing requirements. Focus on personal evidence usage instead. It shows off comprehension skills in relation to discussion relevance.  
  
Improvements are needed all around in the writing but the essence of the response is clear. Next time though, be sure to address oneself directly in the essay.
*WRITING TASK 2 (A country's internal affair)  
  
**Topic:***  
## Should countries be given a right to interfere in other countries' internal affairs?

  
  
Whether "to intervene" or "not to intervene" remains a nagging question when considering a nation's long-term political blueprint. Intervention in other nation's internal issues has always been practiced ever since time immemorial, either directly or indirectly, to a good cause or for a bad end. In my opinion, whether or not a nation is entitled the right to execute external forces upon a nation's domestic affairs hinges on the multilateral viewpoints about the nature of such interference.  
  
It stands to reason that a nation in the throes of multiple matters that are against its prosperity and its citizen's welfare could consider foreign intervention as a means of financial or humanitarian aid. In this respect, such an act clearly is not against the law from a global perspective and should be given ample support to make itself come to fruition. The Thailand cave rescue in 2018 is a case in point. Without extensive foreign support of rescue personnel and financial funding for needed evacuation equipment, perhaps we would not ever see all the ill-fated boys again. Such an act of external support could also come in the manner of treaty or memorandum, which requires mutual reciprocity between "the givers" and "the receivers", thus stands no ground for hostility and fresh ground for sustainability.  
  
However, not all affairs could be subject to foreign external forces. Some matters, such as a nation's long-term development blueprint, are often classified and sidelined from public attention, let alone from foreign observation. There are some acts of intervention violating the international laws that entitles a nation to their utmost right of independence, self-regulation and sovereignty. Any attempts to intrude in these matters would bring a breach of such rights, and are riven with opposition. The recent invasion of the US into Afghanistan, even though labeled by the US itself as a crusade to spread democracy and take it to extreme, is explicitly a violation of universal law. Since then, Afghanistan has come under war cripples and bloodshed conflicts, which plunge itself further into the abyss.  
  
In short, whether a nation should be entitled the right to intervene in other countries' domestics depends on the moral aspect of the intervening acts. At one end of the spectrum any attempts to improve a country's welfare and promote its prosperity should be welcomed and sufficiently supported, while against-the-morality undertakings must be totally banned from fruition. (388 words)
There is no need to overstate the discussion topic in the task 2 essay. The examiner is just looking for a quick interpretation of the topic and an even quicker combined opinion and thesis sentence. The emotional or analytical discussion should not be contained in this paragraph. The overstatement in this case went into an expression and explanation of the writer's opinion already. It is misplaced.  
  
A thorough discussion was provided to the point of the simple discussion getting lost in the essay. The writer has not provided an everyday opinion, which is the requirement of the task. The words used are not that of everyday consideration either. Though the words used are intellectual, it does not apply to the task expectations. This is just an everyday conversation, it was turned into a UN speech by the writer. Totally forgetting his target audience and expected word usage.  
  
Task 2 essays have simple requirements:  
1. Keep it short and clear between 250-300 words  
2. Use conversational English  
3. Write for the target audience
## Are parents best teachers?

  
***Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer***  
  
Whether the parents are the best teachers has been long discussed, it plays an indispensable role in each individual's life. Some people may think that parents are the best mentors, while it is my earnest hope that parents are not the best teachers in a person's life. Parents are excellent teachers, but they are not the best. I felt this way for plenty of reasons.  
  
To begin with, parents are the first people who teach and tell us how to live. But the sooner you grow up, the more people you will meet. For instance, teachers will tutor you and correct your mistakes. Teachers not only do they give us knowledge but also manners, respect, and more. They give us more than our parents do.  
  
In addition, our parents are much older than us; so do their experiences. However, that means they may not understand us deeply. Modern people are so busy that they rarely talk to and communicate with their family members. It causes an enormous generation gap between parents and children. Since parents are not the people who know us the most, I sincerely believe parents are not the best instructor in our life.  
  
Last but not least, we are not learning things from a specific person who inspires us at home or school at all times, but we learn from our mistakes. It is the most important thing of all and makes you a lot of progress. They are inevitable, but the only thing that won't change is changing itself. Failure makes you stronger and braver. Hence, mistakes are the best teacher.  
  
To sum up, we've discussed who is the best teacher of all time. Parents are not the best teacher who can make their kids better because they grow up and is more sensitive than parents has thought. In this way, I firmly harbor the belief that goes with the idea parents are not the best mentors.
To meet the writing requirements of a simple prompt like this within 40 minutes, do not write more than 300 words, regardless of the paragraph requirement. Learn to identify the paragraph number for the discussion as well. It is always safest to use only 2 reasoning paragraphs. So it should not be more than 4 paragraphs per presentation.  
  
The paraphrase should have started at the current 2nd sentence, ending with the summarized 2 reason presentation in support of the opinion. The current first sentence does not help with the restatement as it is a repetition of the point made in the second sentences which was more effective.  
  
All 3 reasons are effective but only 2 fully explained reasons should have been used Any of these reasons could have been better developed. I believe that a more cohesive essay could have been produced using the last 2 reasons in the essay. These would have been the more connected and convincing points. There need notbe several reasons present, only 2 well explained ones.  
  
The summation should only refer to "I" instead of "We" since "YOU" wrote the opinion paper. Proper and relevant pronoun usage is a must. Good close by the way.
## Writing task 2 (housing shortage)

  
  
Some people believe that only government move can deal with housing shortage in some specific areas. In my view, I'm totally agree with this statement because every economic decision or rule that government made can affect the housing price standard and also housing shortage.  
  
First of all, I believe that if government make a rule to limit the rate of birth, there is enough supply for the resident to own the house. In 2022, the world's population has reached over 7 billion people, when the population increase rapidly, it means a high demand of housing appears, but the supply is not enough for them. So the government should make a rule for their country to remain the population. For example, every family should only have a kid to control the daily bill and, it is enough housing supply for them to own.  
  
Secondly, government can use the tax that the people pay through the daily bill to build the public house. In the modern world, everything has been taxed on, and it is a big amount of money just in a period of time so the government can spend that money to construct the public house. For instance, if people just pay 50 dollars for the tax and the country's population is 300 million it will be 15 billion dollars just to build the public house and government will sale it with the cheaper price for their resident.  
  
In conclusion, I strongly agree that just government can solve the housing shortage because they can make the rule to limit the rate of birth and also build the public house by using the tax money.
The problem actually refers to "big areas" rather than " specific areas". This is a synonym phrase error that created an inaccurate prompt topic reference. Make sure that alternate word usage does not change the orginal foundation of the discussion. Good work on the opinion statement and reasoning summary. While not grammatically perfect, it still delivers a non. confusing basis for the writer's opinion.  
  
The writer has a problem with his verb tense presentations. His tendency is to mix\_up the references which affects the sentence structure with downward scores. He also misuses contractions in the presentation. He will do well to remember that contractions should be fully avoided in such discussion essays.  
  
Serious grammar problems came into view when the reasoning paragraphs came into view. The writer could not present coherent thoughts as he seems to be translating word for word to English from his native language. This practice caused him to produce English sentences that do not meet coherent writing guidelines.  
  
While the examiner will see that the writer understood the topic, the lack of cohesive and coherent reasoning will prevent a passing score from being given to the exam taker.
***Some people think that children should begin their formal education at a very early age. Some think they should begin at 7 years old at least.  
  
## Discuss both views and give your own opinion.***  
  
There is an increasing tendency that parents put enormous expectations on their offspring when it comes to education. Thus, while some people are of the view that the ultimate time for children to commence their formal schooling is as soon as possible, the others feel it should start at the age of 7. Both merits of the argument will be analyzed before the conclusion will be decided upon.  
  
To begin with, an early commencement of study may bring about a plethora of benefits for young schoolers. As children have the access to several disciplines coupled with fields at an early age, this could not only enhance their scopes but nurtures their inborn talents as well, which could be inadvertently neglected. Missouri, a nationwide program in USA, was launched with the purpose of providing education for preschool children. Given that, young schoolers involved in this campaign were significantly more advanced in language development than their peers, and were further along in social development. As this shows, the early initiation of formal schooling could be a holistic approach for children's development.  
  
On the other hand, it is well-advised that children should be sent to school at an appropriate age. By following the ordinary educational approach, young schoolers could be well-equipped with requisite physical and mental skills before, which facilitates their knowledge comprehension. This, in the process, may culminate in an unsurpassed academic disciplines results. A case in this point is Eastern Europe nations since children start formal education later and they have shown better schooling results than many other countries. Therefore, the commencement of schooling at an older age could orientate students towards achievements.  
  
In conclusion, both sides of the arguments have their own strong supports. However, I believe that parents should allow their offspring to commence their schooling at an early age as a way to nurture their remarkable and precocious natural talents.
The task 2 essay does not come to a conclusion for the reader. The job of the writer in this task is to opinionate but not influence the decision of the reader. He may inform and give a point of view. He may discuss, but he should never indicate making a decision for the reader. That is not the purpose of the opinion statement. In fact, the writer does not establish a clear thought and reason basis in that section of this writing. He mistakenly just repeated the writing instructions instead while also changing the writing instructions at the same time. Showing that he misunderstood the writing instructions will lower his score overall.  
  
The writer does not use the correct comparative discussion format (public v.personal) in the essay. The general discussion does not reflect a comparative analysis of both view considerations. There should be a heavy use of mixed pronoun usage in this discussion due to the nature of the discussion. Where does the public consideration end and the personal aspects begin? There is no proper view division and openon clarity presented. The essay cannot receive high marks due to the improper format and incomplete discussion development.
Hi everyone, please help me with this writing essay, I currently at band 6.0 and I am trying my best to achieve band score 7.0 in my writing test.  
  
## Some universities offered online courses as an alternative to classes delivered on campus.

  
***Do you think this is a positive or negative development?***  
  
In this day and age, with the advent of the Internet, the tendency which conventional classrooms have been supplanted by virtual ones comes as no surprise. Personally, I deem this transformation contains itself both bright side and dark side.  
  
On the one hand, online classes offers learners a host of benefits. First, students stand a better chance to enroll in a wider variety of courses which are distant away from where they live. For instance, having taken lessons provided by traditional classes, students are welcomed to join extra foreign virtual classes, which is helpful for them to fulfil their weak area of knowledge and broaden their horizon as well. Second, as far as money is concerned, aside from tuition fee, accommodation and transportation expenditure are also a heavy cross to bear for overseas students. Therefore, if more courses were held on an online platform, these expenses could be cut off significantly, which partly lightens students' financial burden.  
  
On the other hand, this alternative form of learning also comes with some downsides. To begin with, learning on an online platform requires a certain level of commitment and discipline. If learners do not devote sufficient efforts to their study, they will fall behind with their peers in terms of academic performance. Moreover, in some rural areas there are usually deficiencies in home Internet connections and modern gadgets. Because of that, it is impossible to provide students from those places with equal access to such online classes. Consequently, in spite of the aforementioned advantages, computer-based learning fails to reach all kinds of students in our society.  
  
In conclusion, the alternative learning has its own advantages and disadvantages. Personally, I am of the opinion that this approach should be adopted as a complementary method besides compulsory offline courses due to some justifications listed above.
The reason that the target band score is currently unachievable is simple. It is clear to the examiner that the writer understands the discussion topic but not how to discuss it. Understanding what the question is, but not providing the correct response format results in less than stellar results.  
  
A familiarization with discussion formats should help. All task 2 essays are, by default, single opinion essays. What does this mean? Where the word "or" exists in a response choice, the writer must choose to defend only one opinion instead of 2.  
  
In this written debate, he should defend one side alone. The side he believes he can defend using 2 supporting reasons. Only when directly asked to discuss or compare should he find a positive reason for both sides. Once the writer understands this difference, he will begin to respond to the discussions in the expected format.
## the proportions of British students who were able to speak other languages

  
  
The pie charts demonstrate the data of students in UK at a university in British who were able to speak additional languages to their native language over the course of 10 years starting in 2000. It is measured in percentages.  
  
It is noticeable that Spanish became the largest segment over 10 years. The lowest contribution was made by German.  
  
It is apparent that Spanish became the ubiquitous language that students spoke in 2000, which accounted for 30 percent. In addition, this language rose to just over a third. By contrast, German only made up a tenth in 2000. In 2010, although German still remained stable segment, it was the least language for using in students.  
  
As can be seen from the chart, with an increase to 20 and 15 percent those who spoke another language and two other languages became the second and a third largest group in the next 10 years. French were the only language that fell from 15 to 10 percent.
The summary overview is confusing. It is difficult to understand the information because of problems with sentence clarity and word referencing. For example, English is the language spoken in the UK, which includes Britain. British is the reference used to identify people from Britain. This is why the sentence presentation is difficult to understand. The writer does not show an ability to show proper referencing abilities in English. By the way, how manypie charts were presented? I am unclear about that too.  
  
Since the measurements were presented in percentages, it makes no sense to use fractional references at the start. The uniformity of data presentation in relation to coherence and cohesiveness is lost. Do not stray too far from the original data presentation. There is no need to confuse the issue.
**You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.  
  
The pie chart shows the amount of money that a children's charity located in the USA spent and received in one year, 2016.  
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.  
  
Write at least 150 words.**  
  
## us charities - revenue sources and expenditures

  
  
The pie chart demonstrates the proportion of both revenue and expenditure of one charity in the USA, in the year 2016.  
  
As an overall statement, it is apparent that donated food registered the highest figure in the amount of money received, while the charity spent the highest money on program services. Moreover, the total money on revenue sources is much larger than the expenses's.  
  
As incipient details, donated food was preponderantly provided in the total revenue of the charity, which was more than four-fifths. In addition, community was also contributed to the money received of that charity, which was the second largest figure, and had a disparity of 10.2% to the revenue from the program. Nonetheless, income came from government, investment and other sources were not contributed as much to the total income sources: 0.2% to 0.4% severally.  
  
Shifting the focus to the other pie chart, program services accounted for nearly all the expenses, which was about 95%. This figure, therefore, had a gap of 93.2% to the fundraising expenditure and 94.2% to the general charity management expenses. The total money allocate for those activities was nearly 53.2 million dollars; meanwhile, the total income was just enough to cover the expenses, which was approximately 53.5 million dollars.  
  
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