dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
## cars problem nowadays

  
  
In the hustle and bustle of today's world, owning a car has become one of the essential parts of many people's lives. Cars grant owners convenience, and also provide ready access to a variety of services and leisure options. Nevertheless, there is still a range of problems that should be identified and addressed.  
  
There are innumerable drawbacks caused by this means of transportation, but one evident minus point is the environmental costs that frequent car use brings about. Vehicles have long been reported as a major cause of air pollution due to the released toxic fumes. The more cars traveling on the roads, the more emission being exhausted, leading to a severely polluted atmosphere. The noise from cars' horns is also an indisputable reason for the increase in noise pollution, especially in urban areas. Not only does the environment have to suffer but also the human's safety. Numerous casualties have been recorded annually resulting from car accidents.  
  
Therefore, it is a must to tackle these issues, and some people support that a strict restriction on the use of cars should be imposed. However, it's not the best option at the time, especially when the need for flexibility is rising high and the car industry's role in a country's economy is becoming dominant. To alleviate the environmentally related impacts, encouraging citizens to travel by public means of transportation (bikes, buses...) or promoting environmentally-friendly cars which run on solar power should be taken into consideration. Another practical solution is to expand and enhance transport infrastructures to reduce the traffic jams and accidents.  
  
To encapsulate, the regular use of cars does result in many problems related to not only the environment but also humanity. Despite the seemingly positive effects of limiting people's car use, it is unfortunately not a permanent cure. Immediate actions should be taken with the view to avoiding severe consequences.
The prompt restatement is not even remotely related to the original discussion. The questions being asked as the establishing platform for the writer's opinion were also not addressed directly with topical responses in the first paragraph. The opening statement is a failure in terms of responding to the task. The first paragraph has one objective alone, to do a simple rewording of the original topic, then respond directly to the questions within 2 sentences that will establish the succeeding discussion paragraphs. When the writer does not address the concerns of the paragraph properly, he is said to not have met task accuracy requirements. This is an example of an empty restatement. It neither meets the topic paraphrasing nor the opinion response needs to meet receive a decent accuracy score. Stick to the script in the first paragraph.  
  
The author has incorrectly used a possessive apostrophe in this case. Nobody owns the cars in terms of reference. It is just a general description of the object. There is no need for an apostrophe at the end of the plural form of the word (cars not cars'). The paragraph should not have had a 3rd reason presented. The most one should present in these paragraphs are 2 connected reasons (air and noise pollution) that can share the same reasoning. The last reason was not properly connected nor explained anymore. It affected the cohesiveness of the paragraph negatively.  
  
The writer should provide a direct response to the given question "Should people be discouraged to use cars?" The paragraph should kick off with a clear opinion sentence such as "I believe that people should not be discouraged to use cars at this point." Then proceed to explain 2 related reasons for this belief. There is no sense in unnecessarily making the paragraph longer since longer does not always mean better. It is the author's logic and intelligence, not the words written that is being assessed here. Long essays usually mean more mistakes or irrelevant discussion points.
## gap year dilemma

  
  
It is true that some students who finish high-school opt to work or travel for a period before they start university. While I accept that there are benefits and drawbacks of this decision in terms of their studies, I would argue that it is better to take a year out to work or travel.  
  
It is true that taking a gap year before higher education to get more time for a casual job or going abroad is becoming more and more popular. Despite some obvious disadvantages of this trend, I strongly believe that these are outweighed by the advantages.  
  
On the one hand, there are two major drawbacks when people decided to take a gap year. Firstly, the expense to go abroad these day are expensive due to plane tickets or living costs of a different country. For example, going to Australia from Vietnam would cost about 15-20 millions vnđ, not mentioning the living costs. Even working inland, the income from the jobs would not be sufficient enough to live independently thus adult still have to pay most of your expense. Secondly, a gap year will disrupt existing study habit since school is not a part of gap year. From studying to working then studying will make people feel overwhelmed by the constant changing environment. In addition, when coming back for a gap year, people tend to feel like they are slower and older than their friends who do not take a gap year.  
  
On the other hand, I believe that the benefit are more significant than such disadvantages. One reason for this view is that, the experiences people get from a gap year is enormous. Take going abroad as an example, people will have to adapt to the new environment that they never seen before, have to meet with strangers of different languages, have to learn how to solve problems independently. From there, they will accumulate various skillset to use before becoming a student. Another reason for this is that, a gap year will prevent student from burning out and help them to perform better when studying in the university since they can feel free from stress.  
  
In conclusion, it seems to me that the advantages of taking a short break or a gap year are more significant than the disadvantages.  
(328w)
Please note that you will not be able to write 328 words during the actual 40 minute test. Time yourself next time and make sure you write a prompt adherent essay. What you currently have is a prompt deviant essay that does not respond to the task in the correct format.This is a general comparative essay. It is to be written without a writer's opinion since one is not asked for in the writing instruction provided.  
  
This essay discussion is already 50% incorrect. The writer further adds to the non-passing marks for the essay as he combines other discussion formats in the presentation such as an extent response and a corroborative statement where none is required. Due to the incorrect discussion representations, it will be difficult to gain a passing mark.  
  
A lengthy essay is not useful when the content does not meet the scoring requirements. English comprehension skills as evidenced by a correct and applicable response format is imperative and must be proven to pass this test.
## GLOBAL MOBILE SALES

  
  
The given bar chart demonstrates the worldwide sales of the top five cell phone brands over the span of 4 years, starting from 2009.  
  
Overall, despite an upward trend in the global sales of Samsung, Apple and ZTE, LG and Nokia's figures experienced an unwanted decline.  
  
Looking at the graph, it is readily seen that Nokia was by far the market leader of nearly 450 million in 2009, followed by Samsung with halved sales (230 million). The corresponding figures for LG, ZTE and Apple are 125 million, 50 million and 25 million respectively.  
  
Nevertheless, Nokia's global sales witnessed a slight decrease in 2011, and after that was a considerable tail-off of virtually 200 million two years later, stepping down from first to second place. LG also experienced the same propensity, with a decrease of about 30 million every two years. By 2013, Samsung's sales had doubled to take the first place, with Apple's being sixfolded to 150 million. Meanwhile, there was only a 1o million increase in the sales of ZTE.  
  
*
Divide the summary overview into individual information sentences. starting off with a run- on sentence means major point deductions that can lower the TA score to a failing level. The writer opened by showing a lack of sentence structure control due to the missing mix of appropriate sentence styles.  
  
"Despite" is a preposition that connotes "in spite of" or " not withstanding". This can only be used to refer to a situation where a common scenario exists which has been overcome by the group. This is not the case for the trending statement since s of the companies have a different scenario. There is a word usage error that affected the clarity of the idea presentation in that aspect.  
  
Do not ask the reader to look at the graph.That is never an instruction given in an analytical report. Use a different way of starting off the sentence. Use a topic rather than directional reference.  
  
All sentence references must be between 3-5 to represent an academic analytical paragraph. Use the uniform minimum to maximum sentence count paragraph. That is the best way to meet the GRA requirements.
## physical education courses for students

  
  
-----START-----  
  
A School is supposed to be there to teach you the skills and ideas that you will use in life. Aside from the topics that you will learn schools should try to do more for their students. They must try to instill certain values that the school thinks would be beneficial for their students to have. Furthermore beyond the mental aspect of an individual. Schools have to also think about how to ensure the physical well-being of their students. The value of health cannot be overstated. It literally dictates whether or not we get to live.  
  
Personally, I think schools should require their students to go through physical education courses. Provided that the student is physically capable and there are no other causes for concern regarding the student doing the activities. Even if some students may not take kindly to being required to take physical education courses. It is still in their best interest and I think the school should understand this and push their students.  
  
------END-------  
  
I tried to write something within an hour to emulate what it's like writing something in school.  
I would appreciate any feedback at all. Don't be worried about coming across as overly critical I would appreciate that.
There are 2 ways to approach the riting of this essay. These are:  
1. Prompt restatement + personal opinion  
2. Direct discussion  
  
The difference between the 2 is that the former allows you to highlight hour well you can interpret an English discussion.The latter, immediately highlights your English thinking and writing style. The commonality of the 2 is the need for strong English comprehension skills. In this writing, the student shows logical English prowess, but tends to overdiscuss to the point of topic alteration. The focus of the discussion should focus on that foundation without meddling the discussion with values references.  
  
When writing a 2 paragraph direct response, one must be certain of his opinion since this has to be proven to be the correct and acceptable opinion. Words of uncertainty create a sense of doubt because you have made your own opinion weak. "I think" has no place in an opinion or analytical essay.  
  
Good job reasoning out though. It is not a bad first attempt. There is definitely room for improvement based upon this presentation. The writing skill can be developed easily.
## how clogs are made

  
  
The diagram shows how traditional wooden shoes, known as clogs, are made. At the general glance, the process consists of six stages involving the manual rather than machine-driven, using special tools like the saw, axe together with main material, the poplar or willow wood.  
  
The first stage, namely "Outlining", contains three small steps. At the beginning, poplar or willow is cut into pieces by saw. The next process is using an axe to chop the piece of wood whose size is in proportions to that of a clog. After that, a special knife is used to carve the clog-shaped pieces into a clog. Second stage, "Boring out shoe interior", unfinished-clogs are bored by a spoon drill to make a hole fitting with each customer foot. Finally, in the "Finishing" stage, the clogs are rubbed by sandpaper both inside and outside in order to make it smoother and less-rugged. Decorating these traditional wooden shoes will be an option for customers who want it.  
  
*
The procedural report is short by one paragraph even as the word count was met. There should be 3 paragraphs present here since the manufacturing process is divided into 2 phases. Therefore:  
  
1st paragraph = Summary + Trend  
2nd paragraph= First 3 steps  
3rd paragraph = Last 3 steps  
  
The grouping is used to signify the start and end of the clog creation process. It makes the process clearer and easier to follow for the reader.  
  
When summarizing the image information, there is no need to create a "machine driven" comparison since there is no reference to that in the reference/source image. The second sentence is actually confusing to read. The reference to machine creation threw off the sentence structure in terms of clarity.  
  
Good job explaining the process. Though not grammatically perfect, the explanation can be understood by the reader. However, the paragraph should have been divided into 2 to properly represent the related movements.
***Some people think that more money should be spent to promote the use of bicycles in cities.  
Others, however, believe that cities should focus on investing in public transport systems.***  
## Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

  
  
It would be argued by some that city authorities should spend more money to encourage people to use bicycles in the city. In my opinion, however, concentrating on building public transport systems is the better choice.  
  
On one hand, there are a number of reasons why people believe that money should be invested more in bicycle use. The first reason is that cycling is a very environmentally friendly mode of transport. Unlike motor vehicles, a bicycle does not consume any fossil fuels so it cannot emit any carbon dioxide into the environment. As a result, it not only reduces air pollution but also makes the air fresher. Another reason is that people riding a bike can improve their health. In fact, when people cycle, the excessive calories in their bodies will be burned out. Therefore, they tend to be in good shape and get more energy for work or study.  
  
On the other hand, I would argue that cities should spend bigger money on the public transport system. Firstly, the public transport system allows cities to lower traffic congestion. To be more specific, more people utilizing the system such as buses and subway means the individual vehicles will be reduced. As a result, people tend to be easier to commute and transport goods faster. Secondly, traveling by public transportation will save citizens money due to the large number of passengers sharing the transport. Therefore, it seems to be affordable for most people compared with other transport. For that reason, I strongly agree with the idea of promoting public transport.  
  
In conclusion, although some people think that cities should invest in bicycle use, I personally believe that it is more important for authorities to spend money on the public transport system.  
  
which mark will you guys give to this essay? please support me!
The prompt restatement is incomplete as it does not offer an accurate depiction of the original topic. The first 1 public opinion statement was turned into an argument. The second public opinion was not interpreted by the writer. The paragraph will not meet TA requirements for a passing score.  
  
The reasoning paragraphs are as incomplete as the prompt restatement. It is totally missing a discussion of the 2nd public opinion. The sudden jump to the personal opinion means the essay is underdeveloped and lacking the expected discussion focus. Failing to compare the draft with the prompt instructions caused these errors. The writer failed to check his work for prompt compliance. That error will ensure a non-passing score. There is no need to ask what mark it will receive. It has to improve overall to even come close to a passing score.
## allowing risky sports or not?

  
  
Dangerous sports are a concerning topic in contemporary society. Whilst many people think that it could be necessary for governments to abandon them, I completely concur that people have the right to choose sport freely. This essay will justify this phenomenon as well as give my view.  
  
There is a common belief that risky sports should be strictly prohibited because of some main reasons. Firstly, there are various threats which can lead to unexpected accidents, and even cause fatal consequences unless equipped with essential sports gear. According to recent reports, annually, practising adventure sports has a higher mortal rate than playing ordinary sports. Secondly, it is more likely to take the authorities a large amount of money to invest and maintain equipment in these activities. Instead of concentrating on them, governments can spend a budget developing others such as education, and infrastructure which can improve people's quality of life.  
  
Despite the above argument, I have a positive attitude that people can play any sports they want. Thanks to the development of technology, scientists are able to invent various appliances which reduce fatal accidents. As a result, it could be an opportunity for sportsmen to engage in extreme sports regardless of the adventure rank. Moreover, the more sufficient people's lives are, the more people are more inclined to sample new experiences; therefore, they seem to be willing to take risks. Owing to fulfilling their desires, it could be vital to introduce different sorts of sports for people not only to discover their limits but also to overcome themselves.  
  
To sum up, although imposing an official ban on risky sports is quite rational due to their danger and waste of money, because of technological advancement, I strongly believe that it could be better for people to try these activities and challenge themselves.
Representing a statement of concern was totally unnecessary since this was not represented as such in the essay. It was however, shown to be a debatable subject based on 2 public perceptions. Therefore the concern should have been indicated as a debate instead. The writer needs to differentiate the topic intentions so that he can use the correct descriptive term for the subject focus. Prior to presenting his opinion, he should have represented the associated public opinion restatement for accuracy scoring. The missing public reference means point deductions will be applied.  
  
The paper can be scored only as representative of 1 out of 3 required opinions. The writer has not discussed /analyzed the 2 differing public views in the third person manner prior to his personal opinion presentation. He has not met he complete discussion requirements to be considered for a passing score.
**Task 2:  
*Most people are not interested in how their food has been produced.They only care about how much it costs.*  
## How true is this statement? What influences people when they buy food?

  
*Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.***  
  
*Answer:  
Overtime, a wide range of food products are supplied in markets or shops to adapt daily needs, which influences food choices. In other words, individuals have different attitudes toward food and food options when they go shopping. Some people make their decision depending on their lifestyle and financial situation, while others consider quality and food production methods as well as geographic location. I believe that there are some reasons affecting food choices and the following essay will support my opinions with evidence why people decide to purchase food differently.  
  
Most people shop to fit their lifestyle. In particular, those who are engaged at work, their options are fast food, pre-cooked or packaged food because they worry about time. However, large families frequently consider a meal which is suitable for their income due to the fact that they have to balance their finances and shop for a number of members with little money. As a result, they are interested in special offers- two for the price of one.  
  
On the other hand, those who have plenty of time choose food carefully and are concerned about a range of aspects including quality and food production. Some people are in favor of food which has popular certified labels related to country origin, reliable production company, traditional products, or protected geographical indication. Freshness of food is also an essential criterion when people choose food for their meal. In other words, they usually purchase fresh vegetables, fruits, or meat in wet markets where food is produced locally or shop in supermarkets where food is properly preserved in specified time.  
  
In conclusion, factors such as finance, lifestyle, food production and quality affect food choices. Although some people look at price prior to quality, others have little interest in these things and will spend a considerable amount of money on food to satisfy their needs and beliefs.*
The essay will get a non-passing score even though the writer provided a lengthy discussion in his presentation. His prompt restatement is Inaccurate because it does not reflect the original discussion points. Rather, the author depicted a statement that reflects his misunderstanding of the given topic. An ewor that extended all the way to his opinion presentation. He did not respond to the 2 given questions. Anstead, he created his own discussion points which ffurther reflect the seriousness of his English comprehension problems. His accuracy is nonexistent as neither the prompt restatement nor personal . relate to the original paragraph. When a full prompt alteration is present, a failing score is given by the examiner.