dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
## the purpose of going to an university

  
  
*Many people believe that the main aim for university education is to help graduates to find better jobs, while some people believe that university education has wider benefits for individuals and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.*  
  
People have different views about whether the purpose of going to an university is to offer paths to career success or to make positive impact on student individually and socially. While undergraduate education can sometime be useful to make oneself and society better, I believe that the chance it provides for newcomers to jump start in their chosen career is more important.  
  
On the one hand, the aim for higher education is to build up their abilities from all aspects. Firstly, students learn how to become self-discipline through school life, and hence higher education can lower crime rate. Secondly, they could develop patient and persistence attitude via doing complicated school work, which they could find these personalities useful in creating new ideas, and then increase social welfare by sharing their invention results. Finally, with the experience of working on team projects with their partners, college students could cultivate well-rounded personality, which can adds to their social skills. It can therefore be argued that university education has a considerable impact on both individual and society.  
  
On the other hand, studying in university enable undergraduates to find decent jobs more easily. Employers might consider academic credentials valuable since they can choose competent employees. In addition, students can obtain precious skills such as mathematical computation, statistics analysis and programming. By possessing these skills, students can tackle problems in a more precise way so that they are more likely to be employed by companies such as investment banks or software companies. I believe that this is the most vital thing that student can gain by engaging in university education.  
  
In conclusion, I can understand college significantly affects people and society in many ways, but it seems to me that the working opportunity it gives to undergraduates is of greater importance.
Ryan, it appears that you forgot to present the prompt paraphrase in this essay. While you may present your personal opinion anywhere within the 3 body paragraphs, you must first fulfill the proper prompt paraphrase in order to prove that you have a clear understanding of the prompt requirement and how it is to be discussed. In this instance, There is no prompt paraphrase to be had.  
  
You immediately launched into a personal point of view discussion without first explaining to the reader what the essay is all about. So you have failed in the task accuracy portion of this test. Now, if you meant to represent the prompt paraphrase in your first paragraph, then your personal opinion should not have been presented as a thesis statement. Instead, it should have been presented as a fully developed second paragraph. The proper presentation for this essay is:  
  
*There are two opinions regarding the intention of a student for attending university studies. The first point of view, is that students go to college in order to help them prepare for their future employment. While others think that college is only meant to help a student gain a better understanding of the world around him. It is important that these two points of view be analyzed for a better understanding of each perception. After such an analysis is done, a personal point of view may be developed for this discussion.  
  
On the one hand...  
  
On the other hand...  
  
I believe that, based upon the provided information...*  
  
Your final paragraph, known as the concluding summary should not be the discussion of your personal opinion. As implied by the instructions, this is a 5 paragraph essay since you are required to present 3 discussion points in the body of paragraph. The personal opinion is never presented as a concluding statement as that paragraph is meant to simply summarize the discussion points in a manner similar to the opening paraphrase.
**In today's world of advanced science and technology, people still value artists such as painters, musicians and writers. How can art make a difference in our society that science and technology cannot?**  
  
## ART VS SCIENCE AND TECHNOLOGY

  
  
In modern world of digital and advanced science, art makers and song writers are still valued by the people. They make a difference that science and technology does not have. Examples will be explained further.  
  
Without a painter, there is no art. Although with the advanced technology, an art can be enhanced or improved. However, a computer cannot draw itself or make a design without a person who is artistic enough to do it. Thus, a painter or a designer is essential to every craft because an art will not make itself.  
  
Another example of what artists can do that technology cannot is making music. With the help of autotune and background songs, music is made by musicians. Therefore, they are the foundation in creating a song. A computer can produce sounds but musicians make the music, create the beats, and provide the good rhythm that is pleasing to the listener's ears. Without the composer or singers, the society can only hear random sounds without words or lyrics.  
  
In addition to that, writers are also appreciated by people because of their thoughts, ideas and words that science and technology cannot provide. In today's modern world, publishing books and posting stories made easier by the internet but without the creativeness or talent of the writers or story makers, books or articles will not exist in the first place.  
  
To conclude, although advanced science and technology are extremely helpful to our society, the importance of artists such as painters, musicians and writers cannot be set aside. Their natural talents and artistic side can make the world a colorful and beautiful place. Because of that, everyone still treasures what these special people can do that technology cannot.
## environmental protection vs economic developments

  
  
**TOEFL - Question:  
Governments should focus its budget more on environmental protection than on economic developments. To what extent do you agree or disagree?**  
  
**Answer:**  
Environmental protection is a topic widely discussed throughout the world. Although some may argue that environmental protection is more important because economic development may cause a lot of pollution which may have devastating impact to the whole world and result in the loss of many vulnerable species. However, I believe that focusing on economic development should be put into priority for the reasons below.  
  
To begin with, meeting minimum living standards and providing a comfortable living quality should always be the main concern for governments of any country, especially it is a problem meant to be tackled in undeveloped countries. That is to say, people in places like Africa face poverty. Hundreds and thousands of people die every year because of war, diseases and starvation caused by poverty. If the government still focus their budget on environmental protection instead of dealing with poverty, such as creating jobs for people, providing better education, or promoting foreign transactions for better resources, the people in Africa will be living a life surrounded by death, fear and misery. Environmental protection will not solve these poverty problems and may make it harder to make money, because environmental protection costs a lot of money.  
  
Another reason that may support my point is that countries compete with each other. Countries who are more highly developed tend to have more resources and power, they may enslave poorer countries in many ways. For instance, many Western countries go to South East Asia to produce their products because of the low wages. These low wages are caused by poverty or low quality of life in contrast to the developed countries. Therefore, if the government don't focus on thriving the economic status of their country, it would be hard to change the wages of poorer countries and maintain the status of the countries poverty and under development.  
  
For the reasons above, I disagree that environmental protection should be put before economic developments.
Carol, when you are asked to respond to a question, you must do so within the first paragraph of the written response. Now, I see that you placed your actual response at the every end of the essay. That is definitely not the right place to introduce your response as the whole premise of your essay reasoning will be based on your response to the question. Better known as a thesis statement, this presentation is done within the last sentence of the first paragraph in order to help you outline your discussion topic for the 250 word maximum essay.  
  
I can see that you made a mistake with your response not only in the presentation location but the type of response as well. Since the prompt asks you to indicate a measurement of your disagreement with the essay, you must use words that show your conviction or belief in the side of the discussion you are supporting. So you can say:  
  
I strongly disagree  
I firmly disagree  
I am a firm believer that...  
I will present strong reasons to support my unwavering disagreement with  
  
and other variations thereof. Now, you did a good job with this essay in the sense that you opted to discuss only one side of the issue within the essay. This shows a clear focus and understanding of the discussion requirements. While your presentation is not grammatically perfect, your message clearly comes across to the reader and that should help get you a passing score in the independent writing task.
## Essay for ielts writing task 1

  
  
A glance at the bar chart provided reveals the change of the proportion of USA citizens living alone in terms of various age groups over one and a half century from 1850.  
  
Looking at the graph, It is immediately obvious that more and more people in more age groups decided to live alone, especially the 55-64 age group.  
  
According to the chart, in 1850, the percentage of alone people was not considerable and majority in three age groups, which were the 37-46, 47-54 and 55-64 age group. However, 5 decades later, there appeared add an new age group living alone, which was the 27-36, account for over 2%. Meanwhile, others showed a slightly upward trend, exception the 37-46 age group remained stable.  
  
As can be seen from the graph, from 1950, there were 5 main age groups living alone. During 50 years later, the percentage of alone people dramatically increase. The 55-64 age groups was still made up the highest proportion, while people from 27-36 years old took over the 37-46 age group.  
  
*
Ngo, while you did write 180 plus words in this essay, the analysis and presentation of facts for your essay is insufficient and, in some instances incorrect. While you did present the correct illustration identification, you did not complete the prompt overview and trending statement in the correct manner. You also did not sufficiently explain the data per group from the chart. The prompt overview should have been as follows:  
  
*The bar chart provided for analysis and reporting in this essay represents trend of Americans living alone based on 5 different age groups. The measurement was done in percentages and covered the following age groups regardless of gender considerations: 17-26, 27-36, 47-54, 55-64. The trend indicated is that Americans preferred to live alone on an increasing basis starting from the year 1850 and peaked in 2000. The measurements were observed starting from 1850 and were charted based on a per decade reading until the year 2000.*  
  
Now, since the data indicated in the graph was presented on a per decade year basis, each decade of comparison needs to be clearly indicated in the essay. The essay becomes factually inaccurate when you do not inform the reader of the actual data presented that you used for the development of the report. Remember, the assumption is that the reader does not have access to the image so you need to be highly specific about the information you received and analyzed. Doing so will ensure a better Task 1 score even if your grammar is not as perfect as it can be.
STUDENTS AT SCHOOLS AND UNIVERSITIES CAN LEARN MORE FROM LESSONS WITH THEIR TEACHERS THAN FROM OTHER SOURCES, SUCH AS THE INTERNET AND TELEVISION. TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE?  
  
## a new, effective method of education

  
  
With information technology developing, online education has become a new trend in the education system. While some may assert that students can acquire more knowledge from schools than online education, I would argue that there are more benefits for them to study online.  
  
Admittedly, students who study at universities may benefit from the direct interaction with their teachers. They could get immediate guidance by asking questions during lessons and even discussing with their tutors after classes. This ensures them to receive knowledge with fully understand. However, studying from other sources can only communicate by chatting on website forum areas or sending emails, which is not as effectively as learning with teachers at schools.  
  
Having said this, however, I still believe that online education can expose students to a world of knowledge and provide them access to a wide range of subjects than campus-based study. For example, if students who enroll on engineering are interested in art, online courses can allow them to learn anything related to it whenever and wherever they are convenient, and they can even study from the top universities around the world. In this way, students can gain much more knowledge than only attend seminars at schools. In terms of studying from television, there are hundreds of TV programs about knowledge sharing, which can broaden students'horizon and to be an extremely excellent complement to the limit range of knowledge received from school.  
  
In conclusion, although I recognize the advantages of learning from teachers at universities, I consider that learning online can acquire more knowledge overall.
Zhou, you have automatically failed this essay test due to your misunderstanding of the topic for discussion and how to discuss it. This is an extent essay, which means you have to present a degree of agreement or disagreement with the given statement. You must take one side of the discussion and defend it in 2 paragraphs. Or, partially agree or disagree then do a comparison discussion within 2 paragraphs. This is a 4 paragraph essay which you need to properly respond to otherwise, you fail the test. Why did you fail the test? Mostly because you misunderstood the method of discussion required.  
  
Prompt instruction: TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE?  
Response: I would argue that there are more benefits for them to study online.  
  
As you can see you decided to argue about the benefits of studying online when the instruction was for you discuss your agreement or disagreement with the assumption that students learn more from their teachers rather than online or on television. You then proceeded to do a comparison discussion for the given 2 opinions when all you were required to do was respond by giving a measured response to the original question via the agree/disagree method. Therefore, your essay failed to meet the prompt requirements due to your lack of understanding when it came to the prompt instructions.  
  
The appropriate response to the question would have been:  
  
*I partially disagree with the idea that students learn more from their teachers rather than other educational channels.*  
  
The partial disagreement with the idea would have given you the opportunity you required to discuss both points of view in a contemplative manner. Please take the time to review other extent essay samples at this forum by clicking on the Similar Discussion [+] link below. It will help you become more familiar with the varied approaches to these types of discussion questions.
## IELTS writing task 2-- giving opinion

  
  
**Is freedom of speech necessary in a free society?  
give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples fro your own knowledge and experience.  
write at least 250 words.**  
  
Does a free society requires having freedom of speech and express their word? This essay agrees that freedom of speech is an crucial requirement by the free population. This essay will state the reasons behind this agreement by discussing the meaning of free society and state that in civil countries no one is above law.  
  
What does free society mean? In new sociology definition; it means that people in a specified country are able to make their own decision, not relaying on the government to take actions against corruption. Therefore, it is pivotal to present the freedom of speech as a tool for people to express themselves as an independent nation. For example, in the United Kingdom people went to streets for seven days to protests against their government as an objection to the new income tax law.  
  
Application of law requires people to have freedom of speech. in order to maintain the wheel of fixing process we need to acknowledge the importance of the superiority of law above anyone who could harm the interests of the nation. Thus, no one is above the law as it is the red line that cannot be passed, and this requires people to be able to speak freely without any fear. For instance, the prime minister of America was fired by the nation due to suspicions of using of his position to his own benefits in 2003.  
  
In conclusion. Freedom of speech is defined as the main character of the free society. Also, it is an essential way to fight against corruption and people who uses their jobs to act against their countries benefits.
Noura, rather than presenting question after question in this essay, which creates redundancies, you should instead be responding directly to the prompt requirement but, before you present your response, you should rephrase the question presented so that you can show your English comprehension skills to the examiner. The better presentation for your paragraph is:  
  
*There have been some inquiries as to whether free speech is necessary when living in a democratic country. I believe that people must be given the freedom to express themselves for several reasons. This essay will discuss the right to free speech as related to the Human Bill of Rights and Freedom of speech as defined by international law.*  
  
You have several vocabulary mistakes that will drag down your LR score. "Relaying" means to pass on. What you wanted to say was "relying" which means to be dependent on the government or another entity. Different words with different spellings that have different meanings. Point deductions will be made.  
  
I hope you have the time to brush up on current events because you are very little educated in that section. America does not have a prime minister. The head of the country is called the president, not the prime minister. This sounds like information you just made up as evidenced by you lack of proper knowledge regarding American governance. Do not try to impress the reviewer with notable information if your information is incorrect. That will not be helpful towards your final score.  
  
Also, when you present an example within your response. Don't leave it hanging like you did with the presentation of the street protests in the UK. You have to explain how that relates to your reason and present its relevance to the discussion. If the example is not well supported the you will lose C&C points as well.
## trying to get back stuff left in a gym

  
  
**You left a bag of equipment at the gym last night. The gym has closed down for a week, and you can't get in. Your bag contains some notes you need urgently, your driving license and some important letters.**  
  
Dear Sir/Madam,  
  
I usually visit your fitness center every Friday and Saturday by accessing my membership account. It has come to my attention that your gym is about to close down for a week starting today. Unfortunately, my bag of equipment was left behind in the gymnasium last night. Therefore, I am writing to make inquire about my belongings which currently remain in the building at this time.  
  
Some of my important documents such as customer's phone list, business cards and meeting notes, are in the bag. Those are essential and important for the business lecture that I am going to participate in next week. Besides, there are a pair of sneakers, ski cap and pink mittens, which are birthday gifts to my niece on Tuesday. The most important is that my driving license presently stays inside the bag. I would not manage to drive until it is returned to me.  
  
It would be so nice of you to providing me on how to obtain my belongings as soon as possible. I apologize for making such an inconvenient task and I appreciate that you take your time to notice my email.  
  
I am looking forward to hearing from you at your convenient.  
Sincerely,
Han, don't use the word **stuff** in a professional letter. It's more of a colloquial usage.  
  
The letter is too long. No one has the time to read such a long letter. Make it short and crisp. Just state the reason you're writing the letter, and try to finish it within one paragraph. Plus, work on your grammar. For e.g. '*therefore I am writing to inquire not make inquire*, or *I would not be able to drive until I have my driving license with me*.  
  
End your letter in a crisp manner. Just say - It would be kind of you if you could help me out on how to obtain my belongings. I apologise for the inconvenience caused.  
  
I look forward to hear from you. Thank you for your time.
Han, your letter is incorrect when it comes to the presentation of information and your plan of action. When you say "your gym is about to close down for a week" that implies that the gym is not yet closed but will be closing. As per the instructions you were given the gym is already closed. So the proper reference would have been, "your gym is currently closed for the whole week." The term currently indicates that the action is ongoing.  
  
Now, you are not writing to inquire about your belongings. You are writing to inquire about how you can get your belongings from inside the gym. When writing a letter based upon previously set instructions, there is no need to add information. For this letter, you need only have written about the note you need, license, and important letters. The gift to your niece is not indicated as an important part of the letter you are writing and should not be referenced as that is a deviation from the required discussion.  
  
Finally, you should be requesting for information about whom to contact in order to get your things from inside the gym. Offer your contact details such as your email and mobile number and indicate the times you can be reached by phone. Or ask for the name and number of the person you can reach out to in order to get assistance regarding this matter.