dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
Up to $3 billions will be invested by Facebook Founder, Mark Zukeberg and his spouse Priscilla Chan to fight against all children's diseases in the next 10-years. About a year ago, after welcoming their first baby, Max, the couple announced 45 billions financial endowment named "Chan Zukeberg Initiative". Moreover, there are several world billionaires such as Bill Gates, Pierre Omidyar, Marc Benioff have donated to the organisation. Although there is no much information how the fund will go, they have invested in tech education startups in number of developing regions like India and Africa.  
  
According to Zuckerberg, one of the plans is to create $600 million "BioHub" to in San Francisco, a collaborative projects, where researchers from Stanford, UCSF, UC Berkeley able to work together. He added his organisation's mission is concentrated on curing diseases so that people do not sick. In contrast, community focus on spends fifty times more investing in treating people who are sick.
Hi Oki, right off the bat, I noticed that you are very precise in your information, however, the unit of measurement, currency and symbols are also very important, not only to keep a uniform presentation of your review but more importantly, to create and cover all the facts that is needed to convey the right and factual message to your readers.  
  
Having said that, below are my thoughts on your review;  
  
- the couple announced $ 45 billions of - to the organiz ation.  
- Although there is not much  
- information on how the fund will go,  
  
- $600 million "BioHub" ~~to~~ in San Francisco,  
-UC Berkeley will be able to work together.  
- He added ~~his organisation's~~that the organizations mission is concentrated  
- ~~do not~~doesn't go sick.  
- ~~In contrast~~On the contrary ( contrast - is for color / contrary or contradiction - is for ideas ) ,  
- community focused on  
- ~~spends~~spending fifty times more in investing in treating people who are sick.  
  
There you have it Oki, I hope the above remarks are helpful in your revision and make sure that for your future reference, you take your linking verbs and properly input them in the sentences.
Many have tried various kinds of diets but the weight they have lost always comes back. If you want to get your perfect body weight, started from now, you should give up dieting, stop worrying about your weight and eat mindfully.  
  
Hypothalamus, the part of the body which regulates body weight provides system working to keep your weight stable as the condition changed. Therefore, It will respond to the weight loss to push your body back to what It is considered normal which means when you are fat or thin, your brain still react exactly the same to gain the normal weight. This system is called 'set point' and a successful dieting doesn't lower your set point.  
  
To get a perfect body weight, you should do mindful eating. Give yourself permission to eat as much as you want, and then work on figuring out what makes your body feel good. Sit down to regular meals without distractions. Think about how your body feels when you start to eat and when you stop, and let your hunger decide when you should be done.
Hello  
You have a good summary  
I have some corrections  
  
*Many have tried various* kinds of diets but ...  
If ~~you~~ people want to get ~~your~~~~perfect body weight~~**ideal body**, **they can** started from now~~,~~**.**~~you~~ people should ~~give up dieting~~ arrange their meal, stop worrying about ~~your~~ weight and eat ~~mindfully.~~ well-organized.  
  
... system working to keep ~~your~~ their weight stable as ...  
Therefore, It will respond *to* the weight loss *to*~~**also**~~ push ~~your~~ their body back to ~~what~~ normally. It ~~is considered normal which~~ means when ~~you~~ people are fat or thin, ~~your~~ their brain still react ...  
  
... a successful dieting does~~n't~~ not lower your set point.  
**Other way,**give yourself ~~permission~~ enable to eat as much as ~~you~~ people want, and then ~~work on figuring out~~ find out information ...  
**Next,**sit down to regular meals without distractions.  
feels when ~~you~~ people start to eat and when ...  
  
who you mention about the various kinds of diets, you can explain it.
Today we can see what is inside of the brain rather than just look at its overall shape. New chemical stains for brain tissue were developed and they gave us our first glimpses at brain wiring. What really launched modern neuroscience was a stain called the Golgi stain. Neurons do not operate alone, but rather make connections with others. Now sometimes neuroscientist need to identify individual molecular components of neurons, molecules, rather than the entire cell. There are several ways of doing this, but one of the most popular ones involves using antibodies. Antibodies are the henchmen of the immune system. It turns out that they are so useful to the immune system because they can recognize specific molecules.
Today we can see what is inside of the brain rather ...  
New chemical stains for brain tissue were developed ...  
What really launched modern neuroscience was a stain called the Golgi stain.  
  
... but rather make connections with other s.  
... components of neurons, molecules, rather than the entire cell . There are several ways of doing this, but one of the most popular ones involves using antibodies .  
  
It turns out that they are so useful to the immune system because they can recognize specific molecules.
Hi Erwin, kindly find below remarks for additional modification.  
  
- ~~Today~~Nowadays, we can ~~see~~analyze what is inside  
- ~~of~~our~~the~~ brain rather than  
- glimpse~~s at~~of our brains wiring.  
  
- was a str ain called the Golgi str ain. - Neurons does not operate alone,  
  
There you have it Erwin, as you can see, there's not much to correct in your summary essay, it is a well managed essay, however, for future writing reference, mind the little details in your sentences, especially if they are vital information that is needed in order to understand the idea and the thoughts of the summary and for your readers to keep track of the purpose of the essay.
Tyler Metcalfe, as a National Geographic Travel photographer, quit his job and sold off his properties to do a journey of cross-country cycling. It is likely that a touring cyclist will sleep in a different place of their journey. The major problem from travelers using bicycle is finding place to sleep. He argued that finding a place to sleep often result in some of the most frustrating, exciting, and even scary moments of a trip. Furthermore, he said that the best option for finding a good place to sleep on a bike tour is campsites. Travelers can choose a number of options to reserve tent campsites with relatively cheap cost. Campsites also usually offer fire pits, running water, restrooms, and usually are located near park visitor centers. Second, Hotels and motels are become other option. Stay in a hotel it offers some sort amenities such as laundry services, showers and a soft bed. Third, hostels also provide options for cyclists looking to find comfortable and cheap. The benefits of hostels are lower costs but almost same facilities like hotels
hi dioba ^.^  
i would like to note you some advises  
  
>> it is better to write by using "conjunctions" such as (and, while, although, but, however etc.. but macth with sentence you write)  
  
And It is likely that a touring cyclist ...  
Meanwhile, The major problem from travelers (...) place to sleep but  
on the other side . Travelers can choose a number ...  
And Campsites also usually ...  
  
The benefits of hostel~~s~~ are lower costs (...) but the facilities are offered~~almost the same~~ like hotels  
  
>>>(comparative has to use than = er .... than...)  
  
keep writing
Hi Dioba, below are a few suggestions to further enhance your essay.  
  
- Tyler Metcalfe, ~~as~~is a National  
- to ~~do~~conquer a journey of cross-country cycling.  
- ~~a~~ different places of their journey.  
- The major problem ~~from~~for travelers  
- using bicycle is finding a place to sleep.  
- ~~for~~in finding a good place  
- to sleep on a bike tour ~~is~~are campsites.  
- Campsites ~~also~~ usually offer fire pits,  
- ~~Second~~Next , Hotels and motels  
- ~~are become other~~is another option.  
- Staying in a hotel ~~it~~ offers some  
- sort of amenities  
- and cheap accommodation .  
  
There you have it Dioba, I hope the above remarks and modifications are helpful and for future writing purposes, mind the form of words that you associate in the sentences, make sure that they are the words that you need in order to convey the message to your readers.
Camille said that dance is language that can emerge and express a society. It not just a dance but, it is a choreographed by anyone who want to make a sequent body movement. Lots of people should realize that dance need a crativity both individuals and creative identity because social dances named Bubble Up changes and spreads like wildfire.  
  
We have to remember about history of dance. In American-African dances how they could be influenced by history. These are fully adapted by creative movement in the present. We need a huge emotional spirit to create a choreography as like the Cakewalk, the dance that parodied by mannerisms of Southern high society. A mad thing about this dance is performed for the masters who never suspended of being fun.  
  
In the 1980s and 1990s this trend countinued with the emergence of hip-hop, african-american social dance that more vixible that long last past. Camille end his TED's talk with "We speak a common language. We exist and we are free".
Hello Mdaman,  
  
Better if you can make this sentence into *ACCORDING TO MS.*Camille put comma~~said that~~ dance is language that ~~can~~*ABLE TO* emerge and ...  
  
... realize that dance need a ~~crativity~~*CREATIVITY* both..  
  
... to create a choreography ~~as like the~~*INSPIRED BY* Cakewalk,  
  
**GOOD LUCK!**
Camille said that dance is A language that can ...  
It not just a dance but, it is a ~~choreographed~~CHOREOGRAPHY by anyone who want to make a ~~sequent~~ SEQUENCE body movement.  
... that dance need ~~a crativity~~ CREATIVITY FOR both individuals ~~and creative~~ identity because social dance~~s~~ named Bubble Up changes ...  
  
Lots of people should realize that dance need a crativity both individuals ...  
confusing sentence. poor coherence. can't get what you meant  
  
We have to remember about THE history of dance.  
In American-African dances how they could be influenced by history. ?  
  
In the 1980s and 1990s this trend ~~countinued~~ with the emergence of hip-hop, african-american social dance that more ~~vixible~~ that long last past.  
  
Read again your sentences, make sure that those make a sense and can be easily understand by readers.
Hillary started impressing performance which is defeated the rival, Donald Trump of the first presidential debate at Hofstra University, America. This campaign as like asymmetric war that explained unequal battle. The candidates have not same idea such economy sector, Trump blamed Hillary which she do nothing to fix this problem along 30 years as public representative. On the other hand, Hillary striking back which Mr Trumph talked non-sense. She was good preparation and notoriously. By the end of debate, the candidates spent more time talked about tax and war. Trump had been denying for not paying income tax to federal whereas Hillary opposite, said *'on behalf of myself, and I think on behalf of a majority of the American people, say that, you know, our word is good.* Thus, this debate resulted that one candidate who was good preparation and other confused, 1-0 to Mrs Clinton.  
  
Source: economist.com/blogs/democracyinamerica/2016/09/win-hillary-clinton
Hillary started impressing performance which...  
Hillary started delivering impressive performance by defeating her rival, Donal Trump, in the first presidential debate at Hofstra University, America  
  
This campaign ~~as~~ likeS asymmetric war ...  
The candidates have ~~not same~~ DIFFERENT idea such AS IN economy sector WHILE Trump blamed Hillary ~~which she do~~ FOR DOING nothing to fix this problem along 30 years as A public representative.  
  
On the other hand, Hillary WAS striking back ~~which~~ Mr Trumph BY SAYING HE talked non-sense. She was ~~good preparation~~ WELL PREPARRED and notoriously. By the end of debate, ~~the~~ THOSE candidates spent more ...  
  
Trump had been denying for not paying income tax to federal whereas Hillary IN THE opposite said 'on behalf of myself, and I think on behalf of a majority of the American people, say that, you know, our word is good.**UNCLEAR QUOTE**  
  
Thus, this debate resulted ~~that~~ ON one candidate who was good preparED and other confused, 1-0 to Mrs Clinton.
The charts show the information of average of water consumption in the world compared to two countries;San Diego and California .These figures are compared to three different category places as Residental,Industry and Agriculture.As overall trend,the two countries showed different water consumption from the worldwide average.While processed the water consumption still had largest in residental of San Diego after agriculture .In San Diego ,the highest of water consumption was in Residential between California and Worldwide,acounted 60% from 39% and even ,merely 8%  
  
In california,the highest of the water consumption was in Residential which is as same as in San Diego,which was followed by industry 33% and agriculture 28%.  
  
In the same industry,the amounts of water consumption was in San Diego and Worlwide ,accounted 23% and even ,in Calivornia bosted from 23% to 33% significantly.  
  
Based on the data ,the lowest of water consumption among the different countries and majorities were in Residential.
Hi, bismillah  
  
Your essay is good, but I would give you some corrections  
  
1. ... different category places as ~~Residental~~ (Residential ), Industry and Agriculture.  
2. As ~~overall~~ (an overall ) trend, the two countries showed ...  
3. ... still had largest in ~~residental~~ (Residential ) of San Diego after agriculture  
4. ... the amounts of water consumption ~~was~~ (were ) in San Diego and ~~Worlwide~~ (Wolrdwide )  
5. accounted 23% and even, in ~~Calivornia~~ (California ) bosted from 23% ...  
  
Thank you
Hi Syukron, below are my thoughts on your essay.  
  
- The charts show the information ~~of~~on average  
- ~~of~~ water consumption in the world  
- ~~category places as~~categories,  
  
Spell check  
Residental - residential  
acounted - accounted  
  
\* Country names such as California should be written ...  
  
- As an overall trend,  
- ~~While processed the~~Processed water  
- consumption still had the largest in  
- residenti al consumption in~~of~~ San Diego after agriculture .  
  
- Based on the data ,the lowest ~~of~~ water consumption among ~~the~~ different countries ~~and majorities~~ were ~~in~~from Residential areas .  
  
There you have it Syukron, I hope the above remarks are helpful to your revision and should you have any clarifications and need additional guidance, do let us know and we will be here for you.
The pie charts show the comparison of water usage from several sectors in many different regions including San Diego, California, and other parts of the world. Overall, it seems clearly that high-development counties such as San Diego and California consume a great deal of water for residential purposes while the rest of counties mostly used it for agricultural functions.  
  
Lofty use of household sector was in the San Diego three-fifth of the percentage followed by California used 39. Furthermore, agricultural resources depleted just seventeen per cent which was just around one in ten from California. At last, the remainder usage is for industry that only represented 23% and 33% in sequence for San Diego and California.  
  
As the lowest utilisation of water in residential sector, the rest of the world showed merely 8 per cent. However, global regions consumed water for industry in the same point as San Diego County and agricultural sectors noticed the greatest used of water at 69 % from both San Diego and California.  
  
*
The pie charts illustrate the differences of the water expenditure in two states are San Diego and California and it's expanding in the rest of the world. It is noticeable that residential sector supplies the majority of water expenditure in both San Diego and California, while agriculture is accounted for the most expenditure in every country around the world.  
  
Water spent by San Diego in the residentional sector are three-fifth. Industry sector contributions, which is the second largest of water spending, bring in 23% of overall expenditure, and this is followed by the agriculture sector, at 17%. While in California, there are also three sectors of water expenditure namely residential, industry and agriculture, accounting for 39%, 33%, and 28% respectively.  
  
However, the agriculture is the dominant of the water expenses in the rest of countries, it is estimated around four-fifth. By contrast, the residential contributes only 8%, coupled with industry as the second highest of water spending at 23%. (157 words)  
  
**note: kindly drop your comments followed with clear explanations**  
  
*
A recent time, there was an uncommon event when the baby was born with three biological genetic and doctor John Zhang led the childbirth process in Mexico. this news was reported by the new scientist magazine. In the first time, the method actually experienced controversy in particular The United States. However, As professional doctor, Zhang had to save the life of baby. In this case, mother brought an abnormal DNA that can harm the baby's health. Thus, the baby was susceptible to get ill and give a higher risk of death. To avoiding this situation happen is vital to take the partial mother's DNA which carried disease and substitute with the donor's egg. After happening the situation, some health specialist stated that they agreed toward what doctor Zang had done.
Daniel Levitin, a speaker of TED talked about how the brain performs under stress. When someone is under pressure the brain emits a stress hormone called cortisol, increases the heart rate, and clouds the mind. The cortisol itself is a toxic for every system in the body, it shuts up all the systems, ruins the moods and also cuts the ability of rational logical thinking. A plenty of disadvantages appears when someone's cortisol climbed higher, if this conditions happen in a long term it will be the trigger of a numerous serious illness such as, type 2 diabetes or high blood pressure. However Levitin sure there are some methods can be applied to avoid this condition happens at the time someone faces problem or under stress circumstances. One of some modes that speaker shared is put system in place, which can decrease the bad thing happens such as forget to bring the wallet, cannot find the reading glasses, or lost the keys. Putting the system means designing spots for the little goods people usually lost, for example create the hangers close the enter door at home where we can put the keys to ease our brain remember we keep it.
Hi Rosa..  
These are my thoughts for your summary. I really hope these can help you. GOOD LUCK  
  
When someone is under pressure, the brain emits (...) cortisol~~,~~ . FOLLOWING THAT, THE STRESS ALSO increases the heart rate...  
The cortisol itself is a ~~toxic~~ TOXIN for every system in the body, ~~it~~ WHICH shuts up all the ...  
... someone's cortisol climbed higher~~,~~ . (Be careful to locate period and comma). if ~~this~~ THESE conditions happen (...) serious illness such as~~,~~ type 2 diabetes ...  
However, Levitin IS sure THAT there are some methods WHICH can be applied (...) at the time WHERE someone faces A problem or under ...  
... that speaker shared is putTING THE system in THE place, which can decrease the bad thing ~~happens~~ HAPPENING such as forgetFULNESS to bring the wallet, ~~cannot~~ NOT findING the reading glasses, or LosSING the keys.  
  
... goods people usually lost~~,~~ . for example, ~~create~~ CREATING the hangers close TO the enter door at THE home ~~where we can put the keys~~ IS A WAY to ease our brain TO remember THE LOCATION ~~we keep it~~ .
Climate change and global warming can attract the disadvantageous for human especially for our environment. The researchers make a prediction in 2070 that climate change might inhibit plant growing proccess. Wheat, rice, maize, rye, barley and sorghum are sort of plants which are needed human stay alive. Grasses are an important food source for human-certainly rice, wheat and corn. Evolutionary adaptions seems particularly unlikely for domesticated species and even local declines may be devastating for some human populations. However, moving to more favourable geographical locations is not an option for amount of grass species because limits to their seed dispheral and obstacles: mountains and human settlements. Thus, let's pertain to construct our good ethical behavior that can preserve our environment.
Hi Alamsyah Ismail  
  
Your essay is very good, but I would give you several corrections  
  
1. ... might inhibit plant growing ~~proccess~~ (process ).  
2. Evolutionary adaptions ~~seems~~ (seem ) particularly unlikely ...  
3. ~~because~~ (because of ) limits to their seed ~~dispheral~~ (dispersal ) and obstacles: ...  
  
Thank you
Conversations are links. Every time we talked with someone we never know before, a tiny link is formed. The more we talk to others, the more links gets stronger. In every conversation construct new links. Conversation is interesting process. The benefits of this process are establish a connection, process learn something new, gives a whole new perspective and experience for us. The major question is how to make a conversation with anyone. Malavika Varadan, a radio presenter, she has a conversation with almost 1.6 million people that she never seen every morning. She suggests some advice about how to make conversation with anyone. First, word flood gates, it is means said first word in the beginning of conversation will affect everything. Second, she suggest skip the small talk. That means leaving the chit chat and directly to the personal question. Third, find something that us and other person might have in common. Furthermore, give a unique impression and ask for an notion.
Conversations are links. Every time we ARE talkeS~~d~~ with ~~s~~ omeone we never know beforeWITHSTRANGER~~a tiny link is formed~~IS MAKE LINK .  
  
The more we talk to others, the more links gets strongerHONESTLY IM CONFUSED WITH THIS SENTENCES  
In every conversation construct new links EVERY CONVERSATION CREATES NEW LINKS.  
  
1. ATTENTION STRUCTURE (S+V+O)  
2. USE CONJUNCTION TO CREATES FLOW PARAGRAPH  
3. USE MORE VOCABULARIES  
  
GOOD LUCK!
Hi, Dioba  
Your essay is very good, but I would give you corrections  
  
1. The more we talk to others, the more links ~~gets~~ (get ) stronger.  
2. The benefits of this process ~~are establish~~ (establish ) a connection, process ~~learn~~ (learns ) something new, gives a ...  
3. she never ~~seen~~ (saw ) every morning.  
4. it ~~is means~~ (means ) said first word in the ...  
5. she ~~suggest skip~~ (suggests skipping ) the small talk.  
6. find something that ~~us and other person~~ (we and another person ) might have in common.  
7. ... unique impression and ask for ~~an notion~~ (a notion ).  
  
Thank you