dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
On the contrary, you should not try to write too many words for the Task 1 test. Remember, you only have 20 minutes for this task. So writing more words will mean you will take away time from your Task 2 writing test. As long as you write between 150-175 words you are well within the scoring requirements. Don't write more than 200 words. You won't have time to edit your essay if you do. You are not scored on number of words, you are scored on the clarity of your data summary. Focus on what scores more, the English comprehension and written skills, not just the words. If you write more words, but the information provided is unclear, then you will still score less.  
  
The overview structure is incomplete. Your overview needs to have a few more sections than what you wrote. Make sure that you always represent:  
- The topic of the graph (represented)  
- The years indicated (represented)  
- Countries represented (not indicated)  
- Type of measurement (not indicated)  
- Trending sentence (represented)  
  
In total, you have to present a maximum of 5 sentences, which is the maximum number of sentences per paragraph. Writing the maximum number of paragraphs will also increase your TA score as it will show that you completely addressed the task under the summary overview section of the presentation. Notice that I indicated what you presented, and forgot to present in the listing. I wanted to be sure that you will clearly understand what information is required in the writing of this type of essay. While the trending sentence can be presented as a stand alone sentence, it is best to present it as a part of the summary overview to meet the sentence number requirement of each paragraph.  
  
Your second paragraph is too long. It has several run-on sentences in your presentation. Kindly remember that the GRA score is based on the clarity of the information presented and your ability to use the proper punctuation marks to write your sentence. The constant use of the comma, when you should be using a period will lower your score. A comma indicates a pause in the reading, that means the next set of information should be related to the previous sentence. In this instance, the information presented is not a continuation. So the information presentation should be separated by a period. Go for a mix of long and short sentences to be able to better represent simple and complex sentences.  
  
You need only one trending sentence. In this presentation, you actually presented your trending statement twice. You don't need to repeat it at the end. The Task 1 essay doesn't require a concluding summary the way a Task 2 essay does. The reason it is not required is because there is no discussion indicated in Task 1, only information dissemination.
## money for the art

  
  
People have different views about the funding of creative artists. While some people disagree with the idea of governments support for artists. I believe that money for art project should come from both government and other sources.  
  
We need the money come from local council to support for those artists to maintain their daily basis so that they can totally concentrate on their works. For instance, a new musician can not make a song without help from the state. Music always take an integral part of lifestyle. A lot of fans from around the world go crazy for their idols or musicians, they have a profound impact on social network and it is the best way to advertise about country and human-being.A a result more and more people pay attention to these country.  
  
On the other hand, i can easily understand why others sources hesitant to open their pocket because it nearly impossible to recoup their investments. Government have a lot of important concerns a range from infrastructure to healthcare, education,.. These public services is vital for a country to function properly. it hardly enough money left for these art activities. Another reason for this opinion creative artists are still a job and they can sell their art works or songs with a good prices if one were high recommended by community, donation from fan is another income that they should consider.  
  
In conclusion, there are good reasons that artists should rely on the funding from alternative sources, but in my opinion government support is sometimes necessary.
Your approach to the essay is in the wrong format. This is a 5 paragraph essay. Why is it a 5 paragraph essay? Review the original prompt. It indicates that the discussion / body of paragraphs need to represent 3 sections:  
  
- Government should give financial support to artists  
- Artists should be funded by alternative sources  
- Your opinion based on an analysis of the first 2 opinions.  
  
Hence the essay only partially responds to the task. By not representing the other 2 discussions before your personal opinion, you have created an alternative prompt discussions. This means you did not follow the prompt requirements when it comes to the instructions for discussing the topic. You turned the whole essay into a personal opinion paper because you did not use ownership phrases to represent each opinion being discussed. Ownership phrases include:  
  
*Town administrations subsidize artist because...  
  
Patrons of the arts are another alternative source of income for artists. As art sponsors, they believe that...  
  
Being an art lover myself, I tend to lean more towards supporting... because...*  
  
Always look at the provided number of discussion topics. After you know how many discussion topics there are, you will automatically know if it is 2 or 3 body paragraph essay presentation.
## Is technology beneficial?

  
  
**Labour-saving devices such as dishwashers and communication tools such as computers are supposed to make our lives easier. However, some people argue that these devices only make them more difficult.  
  
Does modern technology reduce or increase stress?  
  
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.**  
  
Technological gadgets have not only facilitated people's lives but also have played a pivotal role in reducing stress. However, some individuals believe that inventions such as dishwashers and computers, which were developed to save time and improve communication, only make daily routines harder and stressful.  
  
To begin with, the lack of knowledge of some people to understand state-of-art devices' functionalities is the main reason for complaints. Some persons have immense difficulties to deal with technology because they were not used to live with it. As a result, they fell stressed for not having such an important ability. For example, my mother used to work as a secretary using basically telephone and paper. Nevertheless, computers, smartphones, and other equipments of communication were introduced in her work routines and she did not have conditions to sharpen her skills, which led her to lose great job opportunities. Therefore, like many other individuals, she believes that modern tools only increase her stress levels.  
  
However, it must be pointed out that for who have a busy lifestyle household devices and communication tools are fundamental. Washing clothes, making dishes, booking appointments, buying products are some day-to-day activities that became easier after the invention of advanced machines. For instance, my sister who works eight hours per day and has two children. She would not be able to find time for leisure if she could not rely on labour-saving gadgets to make her home duties. In addition, she can make use of communication devices to solving personal problems such as to communicate with her children's school, sparing her free time to spend with her family. Hence, other people like my sister argue that these technological improvements reduced considerably their stress level.  
  
In conclusion, technology has to be seen as beneficial. Although some people, who struggle to update their technological knowledge, think in the opposite way, devices such as dishwashers and computers have provided people with more time for entertainment as well as facilitated their ways of communication and work. As a consequence, advanced machines are making people's lives easier and less stressful.
You were so focused on the rephrasing of the prompt statement that you forgot to respond directly to the question being asked. Do you believe the computers and dishwashers add or reduce stress? Respond with a simple, single sentence sentiment such as :  
  
*Thinking about it, I would have to agree that quick use gadgets lower the stress levels of individuals.*  
  
This was a trick question in the task. You were no longer instructed to give your opinion on the topic. It is understood that you know the reference discussion type based on the complex presentation of the paragraph.  
  
Stop using word fillers such as "To begin" and "However". Introduce your topic sentence instead. That helps to create a clear directional representation of your paragraph discussion. If you use a topic sentence, your examiner will automatically know what the flow of discussion will be, increasing your C&C score in the process.  
  
You have written this essay using too many sentence fillers. Try to write no more than 290 words. With 290 words you will have properly discussed your point, while avoiding unnecessary references and discussion sentences in the essay. No more than 5 sentences per paragraph please. At this point, you should know how to use combined thought presentations in your essay. Keeping the discussion clear through the proper use of periods, semicolons, commas, colons, and other advanced grammar punctuation marks. This is an advanced essay topic and your writing should be able to reflect that. At this point, you are not ready to respond to this type of question yet.  
  
Again, there is no plural form of "equipment". That is one type of word that is both singular and plural in presentation.  
  
Your essay would have scored better had you limited your writing to only the important topics, reducing your examples and getting direct to the point in each discussion paragraph. Learn to write clearly using less words. That is how you score better in the Task 2 test.
Geothermal energy used to produce electricity  
  
The diagram illustrates that the various stages of using geothermal energy to produce electricity.  
  
Overview, it is clear that there are 5 steps in the process, starting from flowing cold water underground and ending with making electricity from the energy in turbine.  
  
At the beginning of the process, water in normal temperature passes into underground via a pipe. Second, there are two wells of input and output in the geothermal zone. Therefore, the water enters in the injection well and leaves in the production well. Third, the water becomes hot and comes back to the ground again.  
  
At the fourth stage of the process, the condenser lets hot water evaporated, making it into steam. Later, the steam becomes the energy of the turbine. Then, the turbine conduces the energy into generator and provides a stable source of energy in generator. Finally, the electricity is manufactured by the generator and delivered into the tower.  
  
*
I would like to congratulate you on writing an essay that can quite possibly get a score of 5 in an actual presentation. You did an average job on this task which was good enough to kick you up to the passing bracket. Your focus was too much on simply presenting the information from the illustration. You did not write enough words to highlight your English writing skills (about 175 words). What the examiner will find out is that you understood the diagram and that you have enough vocabulary to string together understandable sentences. Even if the vocabulary used is imperfect. Try to focus on writing more words next time. Be a little creative in your explanation. Aim for a clear explanation using a little more words so that you can enhance your scoring chances based on the overall criteria.
## Some suggests that young people should take a job for a few years between school and university.

  
***Discuss what the advantages and disadvantages might be for people do this.***  
  
Many people suppose that students may take occupations before they pursue higher education at university. While I accept that this extent has good benefits but drawbacks can lead to some serious problems.  
  
The option to get a job straight after graduating from high school have disadvantages to some extent. Initially, studying need a continuos of practicing, thinking and interrupt it makes our brain can not rehabilitate to familiar with the lesson. When people lost the habit of studying, it is difficult for them to achieve academic success such as the university entrance exam. Subsequently, the shortcoming in specialized knowledge makes them having a low income and get easier to lose their work and depends on their parents. Lastly, the older you get, the harder you find in going to university.  
  
On the other hand, this decision has some undeniable advantages. Working is a good chance to gain various valuable experiences that can't find in school. If you have the acumen and the ability to acquire knowledge dramatically, you can have the promotion opprtunities without a degree. The obtaining of real experiences also useful for you in studying when you intend to go to the university thus this process forces you in a discipline that significantly help you easy accustomed to the studying environment.  
  
In conclusion, it seems evident that youngsters have to aware of these issues and have their own adjust to suitable for the situation. In my opinion, they should start working between school and university despite the notable drawbacks.
This is not an opinion essay. As such, your opinion at the end of the summary statement was not required. In fact, your summary statement is not a complete rendition of the original prompt restatement. An example complete restatement is:  
  
*Ideas have emerged that high school graduates should consider gaining full employment in the form of gap years. While this idea is a sound proposal, it appears that youngsters who work prior to attending college may experience both benefits and drawbacks. That is why it is important that both sides of this discussion be assessed.*  
  
In the above example, the examiner can see the restated:  
- Topic sentence (high school graduates should consider gaining full employment in the form of gap years)  
- Reason (benefits and drawbacks)  
- Discussion instruction ( both sides of this discussion be assessed)  
  
3 sentences, one complete paragraph, a thorough paraphrasing of the original discussion. That is how the discussion should always be presented in a task 2 essay.  
  
I have to be honest though and say that there is a lack of clarity in the discussion paragraphs. Your thought process does not follow a logical line of reasoning and the grammar structure makes the passages difficult to understand. It takes several repeated readings of your work before a guess of what you are trying to say can be achieved. You need to practice more with regards to English sentence structures to make sure that you learn to create understandable sentences.  
  
Since the conclusion is only a summary of the discussion based on your given paragraph bodies, it will appear that this is not properly represented either. You are again, under the word count, not properly summarizing your content, and giving an opinion where none is required. I am sad to say that this is not the type of essay that can achieve a 5 band score.  
  
Keep practicing though. That is the only way you can get better at this. Work more on your English comprehension skills and grammar exercises. Those are your two weakest points in this essay.
Hi. Here is my essay for the topic of preserving old buildings. It was really nice to receive feedbacks and responses from you in the previous essay. Here is the prompt.  
  
Prompt: **It is too expensive to look after and repair old buildings. This money should be spent on building modern buildings instead.  
  
To what extent do you agree or disagree?  
  
*I DISAGREE AND I THINK OLD BUILDINGS ARE SO IMPORTANT THAT WE SHOULD PRESERVE THEM***  
  
It can cost a great amount of money to renovate and restore antique buildings. Therefore, people believe that there should be more emphasis on the construction of new buildings. From my personal perspective, I totally disagree with this opinion and will give my reasons below.  
  
Many old buildings are considered as the world's historical attractions, which make great contributions to the tourism industry of the economy. That is why it can be inferred that the destruction of these buildings can be equivalent to a hard blow in the industry. Taj Mahal - an ancient castle built in India is a clear example for this claim. It is widely known as a mausoleum and praised by the UNESCO as a heritage site that needs protection. Due to the timeless beauty and historical importance this building attaches, it has attracted thousands of tourists from all over the globe every year and contributed greatly as India's national treasure. Thus, the loss of this wonder means a significant damage to the economy in India, proving that old buildings can play an important role in the tourism industry.  
  
In other case, ancient buildings can signify great sentimental values; the irreplaceable charm that modern houses cannot be compared to. This emotion, such as patriotism, can stem from the significance that these buildings have. In Vietnam, the house on 48 Hang Ngang Street brings national pride, as it is the place where our first president wrote the "Declaration of Independence", thus ending years of slavery and opening a new era of liberty in the country. Throughout time, this house has turned into a small museum, where a handful of important historical documents from the time of war are preserved.  
  
In conclusion, I disagree that there should be more attention to modern buildings, because old buildings can also contribute significantly to the economy and reminisce great memories of the past.
1. ~~It can cost a great amount of money to~~ renovating~~e~~ and restoring~~e~~ antique buildings could cost a great amount of money. Therefore, people believe that ~~there should be more emphasis on~~ the construction of new buildings should be emphasize in respect of city development.  
  
2.Many old buildings are considered as the world's historical attractions, which make great contributions to the tourism industry ~~of the economy~~. ~~That is why it can be inferred that~~  Thus, the destruction of these buildings can ~~be equivalent to~~  lead to a hard blow in thetourism industry.  
  
3. It is widely known as a mausoleum and ~~praised~~ was selected by the UNESCO as a heritage site that needs protection.
## billions of Euros for different sectors - comparison

  
  
The bar chart illustrates the different ways of five companies invest in machinery, building, staff training, and research.  
  
Overall, organization B has the largest investment while the amount of money two companies D and E fund for the categories are less than others. Besides, the organization C has the most different investment pattern in all.  
  
Looking at the chart in more detail, most categories are allocated above $1 billion in organization A and B. The largest investment of organization A goes to building, which is around $1.5 billion; followed by $1.2 billion is allocated for staff training. However, organization B spend over $1.8 billion on employee training, which is the largest investment of all categories. $1.6 billion is the amount of money investing research which is much higher than that of organization A ($1.2 billion). Besides, machinery is allocated the least money in both organizations.  
  
Organizations D and E have the same pattern in investment with the same amount at money allocating for building ($1 billion) and study is the least invested category. However, in organization C, research and machinery are both invested at $1.2 billion while the least invested categories are building and staff training ($1 billion and $0.8 billion respectively).  
  
*
Keep in mind that you only have 20 minutes for this task. As such, you will only have time to write between 175-190 words. The time allotted includes an allowance to recheck your work and correct any mistakes you might find. In this case, you went overboard with your writing and most likely cut into the 40 minutes time measurement for the Task 2 essay. Please always practice using a timer to avoid losing precious time for editing your work. It is important to your final score.  
  
The summary overview needs to be complete, Refer to the companies by the alphabet letter and include a trending statement at the end of it. Deliver 3 sentences to meet the task requirements for the overview specification. Do not make data references in parenthesis. If it is repeated information, then repeat the information. A parenthesis should only be used in writing when indicating non-essential or supplemental information in an essay. In this case, the information is essential since it is part of the chart presentation. Therefore, it can be used to further boost your score. So indicate the amount in a variation instead. Spell it out and then indicate the numerical figure in a parenthesis. That will show a greater sentence writing ability on your part, which can increase the GRA score in relation to sentence structures.
This Is My Essay For IELTS Writing Task 1. Help Me Revise It. Thank You?  
  
## UK acid rain emissions

  
  
The graph below shows UK acid rain emissions, measured in millions of tones, from four different sectors between 1990 and 2007.  
  
The line graph gives information about the amount of tones of the acid rain emissions from four various fields in the UK over a period of 17 years, starting from 1990.  
  
It is clear that the most noticeable trend with regard the acid rain emissions in all the sectors was decreased and only the transport and communication sector remained unchanged over the period shown in which the domestic sector always stood at lower level than other ones.  
  
In 1990, the highest point of the acid rain emissions in the chart came from the electricity, gas and water supply, which was 3.3 million tonnes. At the same time, the other industries and domestic figure were 2.1 million tonnes and 0.6 million respectively. Afterward, this three sectors were all gone down whereas the electricity, gas and water supply sector was the most sharp decrease, at 0.5 million tonnes which was lower 2.5 times than other industries but was twice as much as that of domestic in 2007.  
  
As the data suggested, around 0.7 million tonnes of acid rain emission came from the transport and communication in 1990. Following this, this sector experienced a relatively low fluctuation and back again to its original level in 2007.  
  
*