dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
## multi generation family is dissapearing

  
  
Nowadays, families seem to be much smaller than those in the past, this leads to people could experience differently in lifestyle, attitude and characteristics. Being a member of a multi generation family in the past both has advantages and disadvantages  
  
When being a member of a big family, children could play with each other more frequently. Through this, they could learn some social skills from other individuals as their experience. Even though they quarreled occasionally, they learned how to defend themselves naturally and gradually. Moreover, children are taught to help in house in doing housework, taking care of people by themselves, so children could be more responsible compared to those without being a part of many generation families. In addition, it was clear that younger child was looked after carefully by their beloved grandparents. As a result, younger brothers learned many things from elder brothers. Besides those benefits, there were some drawbacks when living in a large family. Once one parent didn't work for a living, there would be less money for children's education and activities such as sporting, drawing or taking part in soft skill classes. This was because that a parent had to stay at home and look after their children and grandparents. One more bad thing was that there was less attention for each child individual from their parents since just one mother or one father was too busy with taking care of other members and finishing all housework. Therefore, children with problem suffered seriously on their own.  
  
In my opinion, despite some drawbacks from living in a large family, there were more benefits than ever. Since family members always were supported and helped by each other whenever they needed, they surely formed strong relationship. What's more, people would never be lonely because they were always surrounded by relatives.
A multi-generational family is not the same as a large family. When referring to multi - generations, it could refer to the nucleus of the grandparents, parents, and children. These could be composed of as little as 5 people. A large family is composed of parents and several children. This is a severe word usage error that shows the English vocabulary limitations of the student. The word "multi- generational" was incorrectly used. It altered the topic and provided an incorrect opinion statement on the writer's part. The paraphrase + opinion statement is incorrect.  
  
For the opinion, the writer was asked if there were more advantages or disadvantages to being part of a large family in the past. The writer said it was equal. Being a single opinion basis essay, the willis response is unacceptable. The discussion should have focused on a clear support for one opinion. The writer offered a non- commital response when the essay is scored on the clarity of support for a single, clear opinion. This is not a passing presentation.
leads to people experiencing differences in lifestyle  
Being a member of a large family  
  
from other individuals ~~as their experience~~  
taught to help in the house by doing ... responsible ~~compared to those without being a part of many generation families~~ than those living...  
If one parent didn't work  
This was because ~~that~~ a parent  
One more bad thing is that there would be less attention for each child ~~individual from their parents~~ since parents would be too busy  
Therefore, children (with problem suffered seriously on their own)->would probably suffer serious mental.problem at a young age.  
  
In my opinion, **there are more benefits than drawbacks considering living in a large family**. Since family members are always] supported
## reading unemployment rate from the graph

  
  
The line graph demonstrates the unemployment circumstance in rural and urban regions over the course of 4 months in 2012.  
Looking at the graph, It is immediately obvious that the proportion of the unemployed in urban areas experienced an upward trend over the period given, while the opposite is true for rural areas. The rate in urban regions peaked by the second and third quarters.  
  
At the start of the period, the countryside registered the highest figure for joblessness, beginning by 6.5%, whereas that rate in cities was lower, at about 2%. In the first half of 2012, there was a double increase in the proportion of jobless people in urban regions from 2% to 4%. On the contrary, an opposite trend was witnessed in rural areas, which fell steadily over the first six months and immediately hit the lowest point of 4.5% after that.  
  
In the third quarter, the urban unemployment rate declined steeply to 2% before going up gradually. It continued to rise and reached the peak at nearly 5% at the end of the period. On the other hand, the number of jobless people in the countryside reached a plateau and finished at a fairly high point of 5%, slightly above cities.
The writer needs to consider the time limitation when creating the report. It must be completed within 175-200 words only. Any more words and proofreading, In relation to the final score will be affected. A 5 minute editing time pocket is practically mandatory for this task. Trust me when I say the corrections and improvements - made during this time will be beneficial to the final score of the exam taker.  
  
The image shows more than one circumstance reference. There must be an S added to the singular word to create the plural reference form, the correct word to be used in the sentence. There is a reference made to trends twice in the report. Reformat the second trend. There is a single trending statement requirement for this task.
## people achieve happiness in different ways

  
  
It is true that happiness plays a crucial role in everyone's lives. While it is hard to give a precise definition, there seems to be some common factors that help people obtain contentment.  
  
Happiness is difficult to define because it is different/distinctive to each individual person. We all have our own special experience and desires about being happy which is completely personal. For instance, some people consider happiness to be associated with monetary abundance or being successful in their careers, whereas others derive fulfilment from a sense of belonging to family or friends. As a result, a range of feelings, from satisfaction to enjoyment, may be related to a sense of happiness.  
  
Although it seems to be impossible to provide an unambiguous definition of happiness, the majority of people suppose that there are some key elements in achieving it. First, it is hard for a person to feel satisfied or content if they do not have a sense of job security to earn money, a safe place to live. Such basic needs should be surely met before leading a joyful life. Second, having an optimistic attitude towards every aspect of life also plays a vital factor. It seems almost impossible to gain contentment for those who have a pessimistic and negative mindset in life. In addition, family and friends' support may be a vital element to achieve happiness.  
  
In conclusion, although happiness is difficult because people achieve happiness in different ways, our basic needs and a positive outlook are likely to be the important factors if we want to lead a happy life.
It is important that the writer does not indicate any statements of fact or truth in the topic Islaliment. Only the orginal topic must be paraphrased as closelyas possible without any alterations or additions to the original. That is a requirement of the task accuracy score. When an attestation is added, a topic alteration occurs that changes the orginal content and intent of the presentation. Deductions shall apply to that section of the restatement.  
  
The reasoning paragraphs are pretty much clear and on point. There is oom for enhanced explations since the essay is only 260 something words. The ideal is 275. That is the perfect word number to achieve overall maximum scoring credits for an already well presented essay.
## benefits and negative effects of tourism

  
  
Tourism is a matter of dispute. Some people reckon that it exerts deleterious impacts on human life whereas others adhere to that it kickstarts the national budget. My essay is going to throw some light on the upsides and downsides of this issue.  
  
Developing tourism has many benefits. Owing to the tourism industry, countries can earn millions of dollars every year. Especially in a developing country, the income from the smokeless industry is the focus of those countries. In addition, it puts the national image on the map so the country is getting more and more prosperous and people's living standards are higher. In terms of culture, not only do youngsters look up to national tradition but we also feel proud. We learn the best quintessence. Japan as a telling example, the young passionate cultures so it attracts tourists from all walk of life and gives our opportunity to explore different parts of the world.  
  
Besides the numerous advantages, tourism has drawbacks. Tourism growth exerts ruinous effects on the environment. Environmental reports have started that marine ecosystems are gradually disappearing because of the risk of overfishing to serve the tourism industry. It can destroy the natural habitats and spoil the landscape in local areas because the number of tourists cannot be controlled. Moreover, some tourists who often lack respect for local traditions, behave rudely in public or inappropriately towards locals.  
  
In conclusion, tourism benefits national economies. However, its negative effects cannot be avoided.
The essay is 243 words and does not meet the word requirements for the task. An addition to that shortcoming, it also appears that the student combined 2 different tourism discussion points for this presentation. sadly, each topic the usites chose had a different discussion format to be followed. That is why the First paragraph is a confusing mess that does not offer a coherent representation of the discussion topic and writing style to be used in the reasoning paragraphs. The prompt restatement is a failure in terms of clearly restating the topic basis, making it difficult to assess if the correct response style was used.  
  
The reasoning paragraphs seem to not have a clear topic sentence. What is a smokeless industry and how does it relate to tourism? The inclusion of national image and culture is understandable but largely explained in an inefficient manner. The thoughts of the writer needs to be better thought out, drafted, and converted to English to create an effective paragraph.  
  
The writer has very little control of his English word usage and sentence presentations. Further improvements in these areas are needed before the writer proceeds with more essay practice teats.
## IELTS Academic Writing Task 2

  
  
**IELTS TASK 2: Nowadays, young people admire stars though they often do not set a good example. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?**  
  
These days, admiring celebrities is assumed to make many postitive effects on fan's living. There are, however, many huge concerns about adverse ones. I, personally, would contend that this pattern has both the merits of the developments and its drawbacks. This essay will be discussed in-deeply below.  
  
On the one hand, it brings an array of advantages. Firstly, the fans follow in the stars of footsteps. Indeed, idols are perfect mirrors associating with many aspects of life like morality for fans to imitate. For instance, many years ago, Emma Waston, talented actress and goodwill ambassador, made a moving speech about feminism motivating a massively huge number of women to have equal rights and breaking roughly stereotypes of masculinity. Similarly, the fans climb the labber of success. Behind the gorgeous stages, the process of practicing to become idols is a phenomenon worthying being cared due to its hard experience. Sometimes, the living of the fans get into trouble, so that period of time of stars helps them have motivation to pass and continuously pursue their dreams.  
  
On the other hand, its negative aspects are not ignored. First and foremost, the fans so so crazy bout their idols. Some tend to blindly adored irrespective of everything. It is illustrated by the events of the previous period time when central areas are impacted seriously by natural disasters; many fans still donate a massive amount of money just to make fame and support for their foreign idols. Additionally, the fans imitate unsuitable things.There is a permanent gap between stars and fans. Irrespective of ages and jobs, some imitate to creat colourful hair, tattoo or too sexy clothes.  
  
Overall. from the points I discussed above, I totally assume that this trend impacts both positively and negatively.
The writer has offered a diplomatic response without considering that there is a scoring criteria for opinion clarity. There are I options for the response. One must be chosen to represent a clear opinion. The position presented by the writer is a non-response that delivers an indefinite opinion. This led to a comparison discussion in an essay that requires a single point of new. Unless told to discuss both the positive and negative effects of the proposed topic, then a comparison discussion is unacceptable. Provide a clear opinion as required in the TA section forthe overall discussion.  
  
The mere fact that the writer uses the word "assume" in the conclusion proves that there was discussion deviation in the essay. When defined, "assume" , in verb form indicates, "to take for granted or without proof." That word use alone negates the whole discussion as not applicable to the prompt since no obvious s support was provided by the writer. Provide an arguement that can be supported within 2 reasoning paragraph. Fulfill the debate requirement of the discussion.
## the amount of waste from three companies

  
  
The line graph compares how much waste was produced by three companies from 2000 to 2015.  
  
The initial impression from the chart is that the amount of waste from Company A and B saw a significant decrease throughout the 15 - year period, while there was a dramatic increase in that from Company C. Another striking feature is that the figure for Company C experienced a slight rise before dropping rapidly.  
  
The amount of waste from Company A stood at 12 tonnes in 2000, followed by a significant decrease of 4 tonnes of waste after 15 years. In contrast, the figure for Company C saw the opposite trend over the years. In the first year, approximately 4 tonnes of waste was produced from Company C, and then the figure experienced a considerable upward trend to 10 tonnes in 2015.  
  
In addition, starting with 8 tonnes of waste in 2000, the figure for Company B reached the highest point of 10 tonnes over 5 years, but later dropped sharply to around 3 tonnes of waste in 2015, a remarkable decrease of about 7 tonnes in 10 years. Company B marked the lowest amount of waste in three companies in the last examined year.  
  
*Thanks for your feedback very much!*  
  
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The summary overview is acceptable. The information is concise enough but missing a reference to the measurement type to complete the information highlights. The measurement type can be inserted anywhere within the short form information or trending statement. For creativity, it will be best to include the reference in the trending part.  
  
Since this is a straightforward report, it is an interpretation of provided data. It must not contain any references to a personal opinion such as" remarkable". The insight must remain objective without any personal influence.  
  
There are 2 intersecting lines in the graph. The perfect comparison points to highlight in the presentation. This was overlooked by the writer when the inclusion of that discussion would have been a definite score boost in the C + C section.
## house prices in England

  
  
The bar charts below illustrate the average house prices in England and some other areas of England including its capital city London.  
Overall, in 1995 and 2013, the average cost for houses in London was generally higher than that in England. In addition, the housing expenses in Midlands and North East were the lowest among distinct regions in 2013.  
  
According to the data, in 1995, people in England wanting to own a house must normally pay nearly 150.000£, meanwhile, to possess a house in London, dwellers need to pay a little higher, about 200.000£. During the 18-year period, London witnessed a dramatic rise in accommodation prices with averagely 400.000£ per house, which doubled the housing cost in England.  
  
It can be seen that in 2013, the accommodation expense in London was the highest out of 6 different regions, followed by South East and South West with over 300.000£ and over 250.000£ respectively. North West was the only region that shared the same average house prices with England, which was 200.000£, whereas the cost to buy a house was noticeably lower in Midlands and North East, the house expense of Midlands was over 100.000£ meanwhile the figure for North East was 100.000£.  
  
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When more than one image Is provided, the writer needs to properly identify and differentiale between the Images in individual paragraphs and compawson discussions /reports that is because the water needs to be clear on which image is being discussed. Since the images are seperated by titles the writer should take advantage of the clarity it helps provide in the report.  
  
Speaking of clarity, the writer has a problem with keeping his report coherent in the report. The use of run-on sentences tends to blur the direction of each sentence and paragraph. The constant use of commas also affect the quality of the report. Both problems pose high deductions in the GRA score portion.
## consumer spending analysis

  
  
First writing essay:  
The table demonstrates about consumer spending on different items which are three categories:food/drinks/tobacco;clothing/footwear and leisure/education in five different countries in 2002.These countries are:Ireland,Italy,Spain,Sweden and Turkey.As you can see that Turkey's consumers spend on food,drinks and tobacco the most which accounts for 32,14 percentages and beside that is Ireland for about 28,91 percentages.Countries which spend on the first category for under 20 percentages are:Italy,Spain and Sweden.Moving to the next ones, there is a change in here.Italy is the country which spend on clothing/footwear the most and opposite from Italy is Sweden just about 5,4 percentages but the surprise is Ireland,Spain and Turkey share the same percentages between 6 and 7.And the last category is leisure and education which takes up the smallest percentages the five country spend on.Turkey has came back to the race with the first lead for 4.35 percentages but Spain is far from away Turkey for just about 1,98 percentages. Beside of those, Italy and Sweden have a little different for just 0,02 percentages, Italy makes up about 3.20 percentages and Sweden is over for about 3.22 percentages.  
  
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The data analysis will be scored down immediately due to the lack of proper page formatting. The examiner is expectinga 3 paragraph presentation that represents a summary overview and 2 report + comparison paragraphs. This compressed presentation does not help the writer meet the comparison report requirements.The analysis of the information needs to be more thorough - in terms of presentation, which is why there is a paragraph presentation requirement. Even though the wordcount was met, these did not mean that all the formatting writing, and analysis requirements were completely met. The writer took reporting shortcuts that will definitely limit the scoring potential of the report.
## Olympic Games impact on international relations

  
  
It is argued that relations between nations are reformed through Olympic Games. I completely agree with this opinion because it shows the spirit of solidarity between countries and contributes to the elimination of sexism around the world.  
  
Firstly, I believe that the Olympic Games symbolize the spirit of solidarity between nations. Olympics is used to bring people together to enjoy unique talents and promote peace and harmony among people of different countries. For example, athletes take part in the Olympic Games with the goal of not only winning but also promoting the spirit of friendship, solidarity, and fair play. That is why it is important to organize the Olympics, which makes the relationship between countries develop.  
  
Secondly, Olympic Games contribute to minimizing gender discrimination. Olympic has a massive influence all over the world, so policies on the elimination of sexism that are promulgated will be overwhelmingly advocated. For instance, after the International Olympic Committee facilitated the participation of women in the Olympics, the numbers of women Olympians dramatically increased. Thus, Olympic Games play an important role in the struggle for women's rights.  
  
To sum up, I strongly believe that relations among nations are improved through Olympic Games by promoting solidarity and eliminating gender discrimination between nations.
207 words is far less than the 250 word minimum. The essay preliminary score will be reduced to a failing mark due to the necessary deductions that will be applied to the TA score for non- word event compliance. The writer has already failed the test even before actual scoring began. Added penalties will be applied because of the discussion format ensor of the student. The actual topic for discussion is , " Some believe that the Olympic games help bring people from different nations together, while others claim that holding the Olympics wastes money which could be used for important issues." The student opted to discuss only the first part of the presentation. Then, the discussion instruction, " Discuss both sides and give your own opinion." was altered to become an extent ' presentation instead. Therefore, the total essay has not met any of the discussion requirements and cannot recieve a passing score. The writer has shown a proven inability to follow English writing instructions. I do not believe it is due to a lack of comprehension skills. He just chose to ignore the given instructions.
## studying in foreign countries

  
  
In this days and ages, it has become a trend for student to go oversea to get knowledge. This issue helps improve the learning quality, knowing about different cultures but can cause some particular problems such as homesickness and jetlag.  
  
On the one hand, studying in foreign countries have some highlights. The main good side is that in developed nations like America, England or Australia, there are a majority of teachers who are in high level and have plenty of experiences in educating. Those prestigious teachers will let the students get access to the knowledge much more easily and studiously. Another strong point would be having a chance to expose to different cultures. When people travel abroad and stay there for a long time, they will get to know more about the place they come and also challange themselves. For example, a Vietnamese person who often uses chopsticks can learn to use knife and fork when going to England.  
  
In contrast, learning oversea leads to some negative effects. The primary one is that the students have to live far away form their families. It results in homesickness phenomenon, sadness and then properly affect badly to the state of mind. Besides, the most noticeable problem is the travelling abroad may cause jetlag. To explain this, each countries have a various time zone, so people sometimes are not able to catch up and feel tired or asleep. For instance, in England is four a.m but at the same time in New Delhi (India) is 5 o'clock.  
  
To summarize, studying in foreign countries increases the lesson quality, experiencing cultures form other partd of the world but leads to disadvantages including jetlag and homesickness.