Your summation of the original prompt needs more work. You did not use synonyms for the terms offices and hospitals. You should have used alternative terms such as, for offices: work spaces, work stations, or employment areas. For hospitals: infirmaries, health care spaces, clinics, or health service areas.The reason you have to change the keywords is simple, it will boost your LR score to show the examiner that you know how to use alternative terms for the keyword provided, without changing the meaning of the paragraph/s.  
  
There are 2 direct questions that you failed to respond to in your paraphrasing. The last 2 sentences, making the restatement a 5 sentence paragraph should have provided responses to the following:  
  
- How true this statement? ( based on a personal opinion)  
- How far colours influence people's health and capacity for work? ( based upon how color usage affects your own health and work capacity)  
  
Single sentence responses to the questions that will lead the examiner to understand what your 2 reasoning paragraphs discussions will be about will boost your TA score as it shows a properly outline discussion. Failure to respond to the discussion questions will reduce your TA score. You have to show that you understand the discussion instructions, which are based on the provided discussion topics in the original prompt.  
  
Singular - Plural Discrepancy:  
There is a number of reasons... - There ARE a number of reasons.  
Reason: IS = present tense singular ARE = present tense indicative plural  
  
Good work in using the first person pronoun in this essay. You used it in just the right place, and supported it with a very good reason based on personal experience. TThe discussion instruction requires it via the statement:  
  
*...include any relevant examples from **your own knowledge or experience.***  
It is the YOUR part that requires the first person pronoun presentation in various discussion points throughout your discussion.  
  
In reference to the hospital colours discussion. You did not completely support your reason when it came to color choices for children. How do the colors satisfy their desire for entertainment? That is under developed discussion point. You could have just developed that topic rather than presenting the 2 other topics that do not have supporting statements to back it up. The more useless and less developed discussion points in that presentation are the reference to the colours used in hospital wards and the need for doctors and nurses to be surrounded by bright colours during breaktime.  
  
The concluding summary is a run - on sentence. You must not use one continuous sentence in this presentation. Use separate sentences to represent the reverse paraphrase composed of:  
  
- Discussion topic  
- Truth of the statement  
- how colours generally affect people  
- Closing sentence  
  
Save for some problem areas in your presentation, it is a good essay for the most part. I am sure that I will be able to see further improvement on your part with your future essays. You show the potential to pass this test with high marks.  
  
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