dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
The writer has done a good job of comparing rainfall data and comparing the figures. The information is concise and well presented within a reasonable number of words. It can easily be written , reviewed, and revised within 20 minutes. The problem of the essay is in the review and revise part. He forgot to do that part before submitting the essay. The grammar could have been cleaned up in terms of word usage. Perhaps, the writer is not proficient in that aspect yet. So vocabulary growth and presentation improvement should be the writers next focus for his English studies. Without these considerations, the writer still wrote a clearly understandable essay. It is sad that technicalities will force it to get a lower score credit.
***Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology.  
In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships that people make?  
## Has this been a positive or negative development?***  
  
Nowadays, technology has triggered its surprisingly fast-paced development. That consequently leads to the unavoidable shifting of the interactions between people, which I believe contains both positive and negative effects.  
  
First of all, in a positive area, the three significant representatives of the technological achievements - mobile phones, computers, and the internet have simplified our conversational and collaborative interactions. The relationships built from these types of interactions benefit, too.  
  
In the social context, people are more active in enlarging their social network by seeing and making friends with those who share common interests with them via social media. Besides, the conversations between friends and family members are kept continuous and instant via mobile phone and internet, hence enhancing their bonds. It is the same in working context, face to face meeting is no longer as compulsory as it used to be for a group of colleagues running a project. Moreover, the defined goals are better reached through collaboration leveraging the advance of technology such as shared information systems. In the educational context, online teaching via the internet requires less direct interaction between teachers and students as they can learn from video recordings and other open sources.  
  
On the other hand, to some degree, those we call "virtual interaction" may impair the ability to communicate in real life, especially the youngsters as some of them are isolating themselves on social media and avoid their actual lives. This discouraging real interactions habit is negatively affecting the social bond, in general. Once relationships are all maintained in that way, they will become seriously vulnerable.  
  
In short, technology has revolutionized the interactions between people, yet it can't warrant total positive outcomes.
The writer has taken a wrong and failing score discussion approach.The writer cannot use a "safe" answer by agreeing with both sides. Both sides cannot be correct. The writer should take up the defense of only one side because the score is based upon how well the writer defends his supported side / opinion. There are no right or wong answers. Only a well- defended response based on 2 valid reasons. There was a failure on the writers part to fully understand the question and expected response format. This essay does not provide a clear response to the question so, there is no clear opinion presented. The presentation does not meet the writing guidelines based on the discussion question indicated in the original.
## Some people say History is one the most important school subjects

  
  
In this day and age, History is the subject that is usually on the chopping block as many consider it cannot bring any practical use and that time should be spent on other subjects that may guarantee students a hopeful future. While there are some undeniable reasons for this perception, I personally believe that education is more than just employability.  
  
On the one hand, the study of the past - History has proved to provide students with a great deal of advantages. Not only it acknowledge them with what happened in the past such as the rise and fall of an empire, the evaluation of human beings and so on, this academic area also gives an opportunity for students to immerse themselves in the traditions and cultures of their own regions and countries around the world, which is a valuable factor to build well-rounded citizens that can become a useful part of future society. Moreover, mastering History gives young learners the sense of pride and passion for their local people and hometown, hence enhancing their patriotism. For example, when studying about the French's invasion in Vietnam, students will have the awareness and self-defense to protect the country against intruders.  
  
On the other hand, the role of learning Science and Technology is undeniable, especially in this day of rapid advancement. Global industrialism requires the people living in it a profound knowledge of technological consciousness. Cutting-edge technology remarkably promotes an advancing life, which increases a country's economic as well as societal status. For example, a focus on teaching Technology in the education system of Japan noticeably alleviated the consequence of its economic crisis in the early 90s. In addition, if one sees education as laying foundations for future employment, then of course subjects that link to more positive job outcomes should be priorities.  
  
In conclusion, the comparative importance of History, Science and Technology as part of modern education absolutely rely on the point of view of each individual. A balance is needed to make sure our society is populated by neither unemployable masses nor individuals that are disconnected from their own cultural identities.
Where did the reference to employability come from? The original prompt does not include such a mention. Do not add any information that alters the original discussion. That is a percentage score deduction. The paraphrasing failed to include references to all stated opinion points, creating an inaccurate topic representation. The paraphrase in going to encounter failed score inducing deductions.  
  
The writer uses memorized phrases learned in class such as on the one hand and on the other hand. While useful when learning transition phrases, learning to use topic sentence openers would earn better scores .  
  
The writer uses only his personal opinion throughout the discussion I while it is comparative, the public opinion explanation is missing. So the reasons why the public supports each opinion, and how it relates to the personal opinion is missing. This will force a lower C + C score as well.
## the hazards of video games reflect the possible advantages

  
  
Video games have become increasingly popular among the youth in recent years.I firmly hold the view that the benefits pale in comparison with the drawbacks that this trend provides.  
  
On the one hand, video games have the potential to be both enjoyable and educational. Users, often known as gamers, are transported into virtual worlds which are frequently more interesting and engaging than real-life activities.From an academic perspective, computer games encourage creative thinking, and also focus, logical reasoning, and problem - solving skills, all of which are transferable abilities outside the computer setting. Additionally, computer simulation games have been found to increase players' motor abilities and prepare them for real-world activities such as piloting a plane.  
  
In any case, I would contend that these advantages are offset by the disadvantages. Gaming can be exceptionally habit-forming on the grounds that clients are continually given scores, new targets and continuous prizes to keep them playing. Numerous youngsters currently go through hours every day attempting to advance through the levels of a game or to get a higher score than their companions. This sort of habit can have impacts going from absence of rest to issues at school, when schoolwork is forfeited for a couple of more hours on the PC or control center. The ascent in heftiness lately has additionally been connected to some degree to the stationary way of life and absence of activity that regularly go with gaming enslavement.  
  
All in all, it seemed to me that the hazards of video games reflect the possible advantages.
The writers opinion in response to the question lacks a basis and therefore, has no merit for consideration. Without the restatement of the 2 public opinions before the opinion presentation, the paragraph representation is incomplete, making it difficult to understand.  
  
The first reason presented is very good.The writer proved the academic enhancement that video games provide. The second reason though , contradicted the stated opinion when the writer should have turned this negative perception into a positive by writing about its unknown merits based on the previously presented negative. The essay only partially fulfills the discussion requirements and will not recieve full scoring considerations in specific scoring parts.
## chile's population my age group

  
  
The provided line graph presents the data about the Chilean population according to three separate age groups namely 0-14 years, 15-64 years, 65 years and over over a 60-year period from 1975 to 2035.  
  
Overall, it is clear to see that there were some fluctuations in the proportion of 15-64 years age group in the period shown; however, the figure of this age group accounted for the highest in comparison to the two different ones. There was a downward trend in the number of population in Chile who is from 0 to 14 years old, meanwhile a gradual growth was witnessed in the rate of 65 years age group, which presented the lowest percentage in Chilean population.  
  
In 1975, the rate of people between 15 and 64 years old in Chile kept the highest rank at roughly 51% and was greater than that of two remaining age groups combined, followed by the 0-14 years age group, which made up around 40% in 1975. Whereas, the figure for the population more than 65 years old was the lowest at only approximately 5% in 1975, being one-tenths compared to that of the 15-64 years age group in the same timeline. In the next 40 years, the percentage of people from 0 to 14 years old in Chile surged remarkably and reached the highest point of 70% in 2015. A similar trend was seen in the rate of 65 years and over age group, going up gradually and hit 10% over 40 years. On the other hand, there was a significant decline in the number of people under 14 years old in Chile to nearly 20% in 2015, which made up half of its own figure in the first year of the period.  
  
From 2015 to 2035, it is predictable that the proportion of 15-54 years age group will experience a slight fall to roughly 60% by 2025. The figure for Chilean population under 14 years old will be in a similar fashion, continuing to fall into the foreseeable future at approximately 8% in 2035. During that 20-year period, the rate of Chilean over 65 years old is expected to rise slightly to around 15% until the last year of the period studied.  
  
*
The writer will recieve a preliminary failing GRA score for the summary overview. It is confusing and represents a true - blue run-on sentence. This presentation should be composed of at least 3 individual sentence presentations. This current type of presentation is definitely a score-down right at the very start of the scoring process.  
  
Essays of these sort must be brief and concise to fit in the 20 minute time provision. The writer did not meet that requirement. He has over- written the essay for no reason. Leaving him open to more score deductions due to his failure to double check his work for clarity, conciseness, and other scoring needs. Case in point, he makes a trending point / reference twice, in different paragraphs.That is only done once.
***Studies suggest that many teenagers these days prefer socializing online to meeting one another in person.  
## Why do you think this is the case?

  
What measures could be taken to encourage teenagers to spend more time meeting one another in person?***  
  
Many adolescents now choose to communicate via the Internet rather than have face-to-face meetings. This essay gives my opinion why this is happening and suggests some methods to promote the socialization in real life among teenagers.  
  
Interacting with other people in the internet is preferable because online conversations do remove the distance barrier and encourage the activeness of teenagers. Virtual friends can chat and connect to others from different regions of the country, and even other nations. For example, a teenager tends to make friends with foreigners to improve his or her language skills as well as cultural understanding of other territories. In addition, some people have difficulty socializing in person, so texting is a better way of communication for them. They no longer feel shy or embarrassed to start a conversation with strangers of their age. These two reasons have made virtual interaction more popular than ever.  
  
It is of significance that teenagers should be more involved in face-to-face meetings by two methods. First, parental guidance and advices are needed to acknowledge their children that true friendship can not be built without the communication and experience of ups and downs together in real life. Meeting friends in person and participating in favorite activities in common such as drawing, and doing sports help to strengthen the bond in friendship. Last but not least, schools should open clubs or students' communities so that people with similar interest can get to know and assist each other in school life and real life.  
  
In conclusion, virtual communication is getting its popularity due to the removal of distance and embarrassment. However, offline meetings are crucial to be motivated for teenagers via the help of parents and schools.
Social media interaction is a passive activity.The writer was in evor when referring to this as "encourage **activeness** of teenagers". No such encouragement is provided by the activity. The writer will lose points for an erroneous discussion that was created by a single word choice error. Word choice matters. It can help increase or decrease a score. The writer must improve his vocabulary knowledge to avoid similar future errors.  
  
The with could have used one or two well developed explanations to encourage face to face meetings. The writer got lazy and opted to little explain his solutions. These are not acceptable as developed suggestions because of the lack of cohesiveness and coherence in the paragraph.
## Parkway Hotel traveler's feedback

  
  
The charts illustrate the outcome of traveler's feedback rated the accommodation service at Parkway hotel in two years, 2005 and 2010  
Overall, the proportion of hotel customer service for each of the five comments changed significantly. The satisfied views were negatively correlated with the growth pattern carried on the good opinion.  
  
Looking at the positive responses first, in 2005, only one in twenty of the hotel's visitors rated its customer service as excellent, but this figure accelerated to approximately less than a third (28%) in 2010. Furthermore, the number of people who described customer service in the hotel as good in 2005 was three times as many as that of people who gave this rating five years ago.  
  
With regard to negative feedback, the greatest disapproving reply was poor opinion, which decelerated from more than a fifth (21%), followed by very poor view dropped from 15% to only 4% over the five years. Finally, the most obvious trend is satisfactory fell from a high of more than two fifths(45%) to two fifths (39%)
The writer needs to provide a more specific image identification to help fulfill the summary requirement. The type and number of images are important to the presentation. The summary should offer data highlights and image identification is an integral part of that. There is also a lack of data basis for the comments. What were the y sections? The trend is confusing to read without that run-down.  
  
Analysis paragraphs are not completely provided. The minimum sentence requirement is 3, the provided analysis are always 2 run- on sentences. There is confusion in the presentation because of the compressed and hurried presentation. The writer must take the time to write a relaxed analysis to create a reasoned analysis basis.
Writing Task 1:  
## the percentage of British people giving money to charity

  
  
The bar chart shows the proportion of British people who give money to charity in five age groups in 1990 and 2010.  
Overall, it is clear that the percentage of people between 36 and 50 giving money to charity is the highest. The percentage of people donating money in 1990 was greater than in 2010. It is also noticeable that the most difference in the proportion of people donating money in two years is in a group of people from 18 to 25.  
  
In 1990, more than 40% of British people between 36 and 50 gave money to charity, it is the highest proportion in the chart, while the least proportion was in a group of people from 18 to 25. In 2010, these figures of both groups decreased to 35% and 14%, respectively. Besides, the percentage of donating of people in the 26-35 age group declined from 32% to 24%.  
  
In 1990, 35% and 32% of people giving money to charity were in the 51-65 and the over 65 age group, respectively. These figures of both groups increased to 39% and 35% in 2010.  
  
*
The writer wrote the report based on active timeline presentation. This means the activities are ongoing. However, the image represents previously completed contribution schedules.The essay will fail on G R A mistakes alone. The writer must become familiar with tense usage if he is to improve his GRA score. Additionally the writer shows a limited sentence structure range. Consider not writing run-on sentences next time. Use individual sentences for data presentation instead. It helps with the C + C score. Also, vary the presentation by using other punctuation marks to show an advanced writing skill.  
  
The writer understands what the image is about and what data should be presented. However, his limited writing skills fail to show a passing potential.
## heavy workloads of employees

  
  
These days, employees have grappled with several issues associated with their heavy workloads, such as lack of quality time with their families. Therefore, some view a reduction of working days as a possible solution to this problem. In this essay, I will provide some valid arguments to support lessening working hours.  
  
First and foremost, a hectic work schedule can damage employees' physical health. To be more precise, they need to devote most of their time to working and meeting the companies' requirements, which can lead to several health problems. Some closely correlated with this issue are strokes or heart diseases, as most workers lead a sedentary life of spending much time sitting at work, and do not have much time left for daily exercises. As a result, these illnesses can become a threat to their productivity, and furthermore, the likelihood of them being considered for promotion, since they may not be able to handle some certain tasks in the future.  
  
Another justification for fewer working hours is that they can offer the workers the chance to improve their mental health. To be specific, with a suitable work schedule, they can participate in different recreational and physical activities, or spend more quality time with their families and friends, which will possibly help them to be more mentally active, and therefore, resulting in a boost in effectiveness at work. As a matter of fact, an excessive workload can lead to fatigue and a rise in the level of stress, which, in the long run, can cause more serious psychological issues including depression or anxiety, and consequently, their overall well-being will be adversely affected, entailing a fall in their concentration and work productivity.  
  
In conclusion, I believe there are several reasons why a heavy work schedule should be replaced by shorter working hours. These include an improvement in the workers' physical and mental health, which can enable them to perform better at their workplace.
The prompt paraphrase is incomplete. It must reference the original 35 hours work week consideration as originally mentioned in the prompt. A clear topic reference in relation to the discussion basis must be provided to create the thesis statement for the A/ D reference. At least one topic each should be mentioned regardless of the accompanying topic in the individual reasoning paragraphs. The prompt paraphrase can expect a weak starting score.  
  
The writer presented an incomplete discussion as it only focuses on the advantages. This is an advantage/ disadvantage discussion so the format should be:  
  
Reasoning paragraph 1: 2 related advantages in a coherent and cohesive paragraph .  
Reasoning paragraph 2: 2 related disadvantages of the connected kind.  
  
This is just a comparison essay. There is no personal opinion requirement. Points will be deducted because the writer added an relevant . discussion point in the summary conclusion paragraph.The essay can fail as there is no proper conclusion presented.
## effect of playing outdoors on a child's development

  
  
Several opinons said that it is beneficial for childen to grow through outdoor hobbies rather than spend a day sitting face the screen and TV. In my point of view, I highly agree with this opinion, youth find it is easier to develop skills and make more fan through outdoor games.  
  
First of all, the disadvantages of games are encourage them to be violent and wasting their time for nothing, furthermore, more and more children from a young ages are playing an adult game like GTA 5 or shooting game without parents' permission and not 18, yet. Spend a day playing video games may affect their health and body, for instance, their back can struggle to stay in one position for a long time, or play games in the dark can hurt their eyes and disorder their timetables, last but not least, video games can hiddenly attack their mental health through brutal and sexual scenes, also, video games networks are full of scammers who are waiting for kids and teenagers try to take their parents' credit cards information and their accounts  
  
On the other hand, outdoor activities bring a huge amount of interest. First of all, It is advantageous for newborns to experience new things, besides, outdoor games like football, basketball, ect can develop their unseen talent and improve kids' ways of a healthy life, for example, playing basketball or swimming can increase their height and reduce heart problems. People who are scientists prove that kids can learn to communicate skills and make new relationships through open-air hobbies, furthermore, they may acquire teams work, improve their strength and reduce pressure from school.  
  
In conclusion, I highly recommended children play outdoor rather than spend time on video games with a bunch of advantages for their body, mind, and mental health, there are several outdoor games healthier than spend half a day in a virtual world.