dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
In 21th century, **humans are** confronted with the most ...  
... however, controlling human **population in cities** as well as managing ...  
  
... of ice continents and lack of **plants** absorbing water. The climate change **increases** the temperature in **Arctic** region which consequently **increases the** amount of seawater**in the ocean**.  
  
... demonstrated in artificial **events in computers** and have been lively recorded in decreasing **the** total size of land by **scientists** since early ...  
  
... congested city of Indonesia, **needs** to be managed on ...  
  
Most scientists from **Harvard** also agree that planning ...
**The world of work is changing rapidly. Working conditions today are not the same as before and people no longer rely on taking one job for life. Discuss the possible causes for these changes and give your suggestion on how people should prepare for work in the future?**  
  
It commonly occurs that people tend to take more than one job. Economic demand is one of causes of this trend and a viable solution to be taken is the policy to increase the rate of salary.  
  
To begin, range of human needed is the most factor that influence people to earn money from more than one job. This present time, price from all subjects is increasing rapidly, and cause unbalance between salary and necessity. Human welfare cannot be met from taking only one job, this situation deliver worker to work hard and find another job to fulfill their demand. For instance, citizen of Bermuda, a country which the most expensive living cost have to get more than three jobs each person, caused by lower rate of salary and high price of goods.  
  
Increasing payment of worker is worthy to tackle this problem. The highest cost of living cannot be matter as long as salary also increased. Government and industry should cooperate to take regional minimum wage depends on living cost of each area because reason of this phenomenon happened is coming from economy side. For example, the average income of people in United State of America is US$ 42.050 each year of person, this country care of citizen well being, not only employee, but also jobless is under supervised by government. Needless to say that higher income has strong influence to make worker enough with one job.  
  
To sum up, basic needed as a reason people get work more than one can be solved by increasing salary of worker. In addition, having a set goal in their mind and getting training accordingly are two suggestion ways prepare for work in the time to come beside one above.
**In some countries, governments are encouraging industries and businesses to move to regional areas outside the big cities. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?**  
  
In some countries, manufacturing and business are boosted to be relocated from big city to the rural area. Although this policy would create fresh air, the difficulty of goods distribution will far outweigh any benefits.  
  
One of advantages of the relocation of industrial and business center is the creation of fresh air in the city. This is because the amount of pollution coming from manufacturing and vehicles is less. For instance, Research form Edinburg University said that 80% of pollution is in the big cities is caused by transportation and even factory activity. This condition reveals that relocating factory or business area bring out good effect which is shown by data of research that pollution in city experienced a large decrease approximately 50%. However, this policy would trigger another pollution suffered by people living in the suburb.  
  
It is accepted that when business and manufacturing center is placed in the outskirt, goods distribution would be time-consuming. This occurs as distance taken to send those commodities takes long. Besides, public transportation is no accessible so that this condition complicates activity of enterprises. For example, many workers who complain in the distribution because their time is wasted in vain for a far distance distribution. This means that long distance becomes obstacles in distribution and therefore the advantage of such policy far outweighs its benefit.  
  
To conclude, Relocating manufacturing and business to rural area decrease pollution but impact of relocating will be difficult for the company in the process of distribution for the company's location away from urban centers.
Dear Bekuk, here some advices from me and feel free for correcting me too!  
  
One of the advantages ~~of the~~for~~relocation~~relocating~~of~~ industrial and business ...  
  
... the amount of pollution which coming from manufacturing ...  
  
... distance taken ~~to~~for sending those commodities takes long.  
  
Besides, public transportation is being no accessible so ...  
  
....and therefore the dis advantage of such policy ...  
  
Regards
**Some people think that online computer game is useful for children, while others claim is bad. What are advantages and disadvantages of online computer game for children?**  
  
Online games are one of the popular games these days. Some claim that it is beneficial for children while others are not in this notion. Playing computer-based games can encourage children's creativity and soft-skill this is also probable to wonder children concentration in studying.  
  
Children who usually play online computer games have a tendency to be genius person. Firstly, online games commonly use English language as the main language to communicate with other users; it can affect its user to be more able in foreign language. Secondly, by applying most modern technology, online game can attract gamer's imagination inside the games and make them becoming active person. Thirdly, level of difficulty can encourage their brainstorm to find out the way so solve every problem. Thus, it is evident that creativity and soft-skill of gamers cannot call into doubt when children get engaged in games.  
  
Despite these advantages, some users become addicted when playing games and ignore other activities as their obligatory such study. Spending much time on games has affected student concentration when they are at school. For instance, coc as war clan game strongly influence its user to often check and play the game even when the lesson runs. Thus, it is true that internet-based game break children concentration in studying.  
  
In conclusion, it is clearly that the possible of online games are more significant than potential drawback as long as children can manage their playing time properly.
Dear Gian, here are some advices for your writing, feel free to correct my responses,  
  
some users become addicted when ... -->  
*some users can get addicted when playing games continuously, and they may obligate game activities to ignore essential activity, such as, study*  
  
coc as war clan game strongly influence its user ... -->  
*Online games, for instance, Clash of Clans, strongly influence gamer to continuously access the game even if they are in the middle of the class.*  
  
Thus, it is true that internet-based game ... -->  
*Therefore, it is undoubtedly that internet-based game reducing children focus during their studies.*  
  
Hope it helps you to improve your writing skills,  
  
Regards
***When students are in large classes, it is very hard for the teacher to give every student individual attention. What can educational authorities do about this?***  
  
The huge number of students in one class affects them receiving attentions unevenly. Teacher's capacity which is inevitably limited results unequally treatments, thus educational institution should formulate a teaching approach that can cover it like discussion group, besides, advanced facilities like internet access should be utilized.  
  
It goes without saying that educator should have a creative method like making a group when teaching in a big class in order to give fair attention to each student. It is because each child has different need about attention thus teacher should not try to give them same rate but based on their needs. Dividing students into three different categories and getting them individual task exactly ease teacher to give objective attention. UNESCO has conducted research through Finland National School system that frees their teachers to use any kind of approach; so teacher A, for example, has different method when teaching in Daisy class and in Edelweiss class, then it results that there is no students who feel being exiled and the teacher enjoys his teaching time as well. It is true then that a creative teaching method can help teacher to give fair attention during study time.  
  
Moreover, available facilities like using internet in a large class also can be another way to offer sufficient attention for children. The reason for this is that this advanced technology can be used to monitor each student effectively meanwhile, at the same time, each of children also has same right to ask and discus to teacher. Besides, through this tool, teachers are not suffering to think too much about equal attention to be given since they are easily can supervise each student's improvement. South Korea has applied this sophisticated educational system since the last decade and found their teachers are less worried about individual attention in class compared to the past decade. Thus, it is clear that utilizing internet access in a class during study time is completely ease teacher to give fair attention toward children.  
  
In conclusion, attention may not be given equally in term of mathematical value but it depends on individual needs. Thus, creative teaching method and by utilizing internet access are the best way to get students find equal attention.
The huge number of students in one class affects ...  
I feel like this sentence is a bit awkward. Maybe change it to be something like this, " The larger the class, the less individualized attention for each student."  
  
It goes without saying that educator ...  
  
I think you should change the above part to this...  
  
... that educators should have a creative method such as making groups when teaching in a big class. This would help to bring more attention to each and every student.  
  
Also, I would delete this sentence....It is because each child has different need about attention thus teacher should ...  
  
Overall, great job! I really liked your writing!
***Some parents think that childcare centers provide the best services for children of pre-school age. Other working parents think that family members such as grandparents will be better cares for their kids. Discuss both views and give your opinion.***  
  
The presence of childcare is the solution for some busy parents to take care of their children. Some people believe that it is such a good idea for parents, but the proponents claim that it is not that good. While childcare cost much money, I firmly believe that it is much better for the pre-school children to be taken care by the family members, hence to tighten the personal relation among them.  
  
Working parents believe that childcare can be the trustful place for children to be when they should do their job. Due to the reason that childcare has licensed trainers who know how to treat children well based on their age group. It also answer the parents' problem who do not have any relatives live near by them. In addition, childcare not only educate children in a fun way, but also guide children to socialize with other people. Children joining childcare will be more joyful since they have new experience to be shared with their parents when they return home. Besides, parents do not need to be worry if they cannot teach their children intensively because the trainer had took their position for it. By all of the complete services given by the childcare is the reason some people prefer to count on it to solve their problem in taking care of their children when they need to work.  
  
On the other opinion said that no one can treat the children better than their family itself. Family member such as grandmother is a trustworthy person who know how to treat children well based on her experience. Family member is the one who will love the working parent's children for granted, hence parents do not need to be anxious as their children will not lack of affection. To illustrate, parents who give their child to be taken care by their mother will be free to control their children by phone every time they wish. Furthermore, about the additional expenditure by their children such as snacks and diaper will be guaranteed by the family member, thus it can be more thrift for parents. A very good relationship will be built when children taking care of the family members than other people who had no blood relation  
  
All in all, pediatric care can be a solution for parent to take care of their children on their busy hours. However, relative's role are more needed since children will be comfortable to be with someone they close to.
Dear chacha, here are some advices for your writing, feel free to correct my responses,  
  
*Some people believe it would be such a good idea for parents*  
  
*but the proponents deny the statement (claim reversely/differently)*  
  
Working parents believe -->  
*you can change it with another words, such as, think or reckon*  
  
*Due to the reason, childcare provide their services by having licensed trainers who familiar (specialize) to treat children well across all age groups*  
  
It also answer the parents' problem ... -->  
[i]It also offer solution for the parents' doubt regarding relatives who live close by.[i]I hope it helps you to improve your writing skills,  
  
Regards
***Global warming is one of the biggest threats humans face in the 21st Century and sea levels are continuing to rise at alarming rates. What problems are associated with this and what are some possible solutions.***  
  
In 2000s, people witness the increasing sea levels at alert status as one of climate change's impacts. Inhabitants, then, experience flood as the most obvious matter that is being inflicted, thus building dams are the best solution for this phenomenon.  
  
It goes without saying that due to the increasing sea level, wherever citizens go, flood is found. It is a situation when a large amount of water is covering settlement house and it completely interferes inhabitants. Later, it makes inhabitants difficult to do their activities like inability to go everywhere since they are trapped, and/or catching some disease like diarhea, malaria or cold. Reported from Queensland National Hospital, Australia, the number of patients suffering diarhea and malaria are jumping by 30% even when the city has been rained for two days.  
  
However, this serious problem can cope with constructing dam in order to block the large amount of water. This is storage for the plenty of water to get the river flow be good, so there is no more water goes to land. This step in commonly believed as an effective solution as Egypt, New Zealand and Canada have applied it. In Egypt, for example, a dam built across the Nile has worked since 1903 till now to prevent flood.  
  
Overall, global warming which raises sea levels inundates residences and bears problems. Nevertheless, sea barriers are proven to be a long-term solution to solve this phenomenon.
Dear Hujjatul, here are some advices for your writing, feel free to correct my responses,  
  
It is a situation when a large amount of water ... -->  
*When a large amount of water is covering settlement house, it also completely interferes inhabitants*  
  
Later, it makes inhabitants difficult to do their  
*Later, it restricts inhabitants to do their routine of going everywhere. As they are trapped in there, they are prone to get common diseases caused by flood, such as, diarrhea, malaria and cold.*  
  
*this serious problem can be solved by constructing dam in order to contain (hold or keep) large amount of water*  
  
hope it helps you to improve your writing,  
  
Regards
Hello, it's my first post here.  
Please help me correct and evaluate my essay. Thanks a lot!  
  
**If people are on vacation, they should leave their mobile phones at home.**  
  
People nowadays are highly depending on their mobile phones in every aspect of daily life. However, an issue about the necessity of bringing mobile phones during vacations has been raised. Some people consider this technological device as a distraction or a disturbance and suggest leaving it at home, while others don't. As far as I am concerned, when people go on vacation, they are supposed to carry their mobile phones which can bring countless advantages for their tours.  
  
To begin with, people can capture the memorable moments on vacation by taking pictures with their cell phones. For example, a couple of years ago, my college friends and I spent a great time at Thailand's beach. We used our cell phones to take many photos there to seize the beautiful scenery and also memorize our friendship. Every time I see those pictures, I can remember the activities we had and our laughter that day. Apparently, carrying mobile phones on vacation is a wise choice to save memories; otherwise, they could just fade away.  
  
Apart from that, if people get lost on their trips, the navigation function on their smartphones can lead the way for them. For instance, when I went to Japan last year, I once lost my direction in a small village where there were no stores nearby to ask for help. Thanks to my smartphone, I turned on the GPS and it then successfully navigated me to the right path to the train station. From this experience, people should really bring a mobile phone on holiday because it enables people to solve problems.  
  
Last but not least, people on holiday still need to contact with others in some cases. For one thing, emergencies might happen during the holiday. A family member might be seriously sick or injured. In this case, people are required to have their cell phones with them, in case someone tries to call them in urgent. For another, sometimes people and their traveling partner want to go separately for a short time. With mobile phones, they can meet up more easily.  
  
To conclude, mobile phones play an indispensable role in handling different situations and people should not be without them on vacation. It is always better to be prepared for the unexpectedness in a journey.
Hi Johnny, It's a nice and a readable writing as well. it has been arranged well and is easy to be understood. Hoewever, here is some suggestions for your writing.  
  
**Firtsly, is it IELTS writing task? if so, it would be better to attach the question**  
  
As far as I ~~am~~ concern~~ed~~ , when people go on vacation...  
**In introduction, writer is supposed to state his/her main idea clearly, thus it eases him/her to arrange body 1 & 2**  
**However, I notice that you have presented your idea in body 1 and 2 well**  
  
Keep writing. Best regards.
Hi Johny  
Here some suggestions for your writing  
  
I am not sure that it is an IELTS writing since you did not attach the question to make us know what kind of question is this. Is it agree disagree or problem solution, etc.  
  
Ielts be like  
Introduction  
1. Background (Paraphrasing the prompt)  
2. Thesis statement (Writer position and opinion)  
  
Body 1 & 2  
1. topic sentence  
2. supporting idea  
3. examples  
4. Brief conclusion  
  
Conclusion  
  
Hopefully it works for you as beginner  
  
Best Regard
**Internet-based social networking sites are designed to help bring people together. However, they have a negative effect on the way we communicate with one another.  
  
Do you agree or disagree?**  
  
The existence of social media networking site helps people to be closed each other. It can be used for sharing condition by using update room known as status in Facebook. However, I cannot utterly agree with this initiative issue, since it has disadvantages in the way community interacts such as being impolite.  
  
One of the most popular social networks is Facebook. The availability of updating condition by users in Facebook brings citizen interconnected. In my experience in 2015, I could know the progress of my sister's condition in Indonesia after surgery by reading her update status in Facebook, even though at the time I was in Singapore. When I had a leisure time, I would leave several comments there such as questions that I wanted to know, some jokes to entertain her, and sometime I gave her quote of motivation to support her health recovery. After I came back to home, I felt that I had already closer to my sister than before. Although Facebook makes me feel close to my sister, another social network, Instagram, had ever become a problem between me and my student.  
  
Interaction which is using social site as the media also has negative impacts. When someone become closer each other, sometimes it breaks a limit of politeness. This happened in the early of January this year, when one of my students chatted me on Instagram. He asked me about the exercise in my class, and then he also talked to me about his problem in completing it. When I gave him ethereality, he suddenly became less polite and dispassionate to my subject. He also commented to my post which did not respect to me as his teacher.  
  
In conclusion, using social media have two contrary sides. The facility of interactions among users on one hand, help people to be familiar while in another one, it can make people less polite in attitudes.
hi..  
I have something for you..  
let's check it out..  
  
... site helps people to be ~~closed~~[close to] each other  
  
However, I cannot utterly agree with this ~~initiative~~[you do not need to mention initiative as it is a noun] issue,  
  
The availability ~~of updating~~[to update] [the] condition by users in Facebook brings citizen [to be] interconnected.  
  
I hope it helps..
Hi Hirani  
Here some suggestions for your writing  
  
... site helps people to be ~~closed~~closer each other.  
  
... reading her updated status in Facebook  
  
and sometimes I gave her quote ...  
  
Interaction ~~which is~~ using social site as the ...  
  
When someone ~~become~~is getting closer each other, ...  
  
Note : it is goo to give the example of your own but it is much better to limit it, hence it does not look like too personal.  
  
besides, you wrote "since it has disadvantages in the way community interacts such as being impolite" but in your body 2, you only mention one disadvantage  
  
Best Regard