dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
some rest is not -> the rest were not  
~~must~~ should be trained  
profession -> a professional.  
My two cents, -> From my own point of view,  
is not only turning -> not only turns  
profession-> professional/ skillful  
making impossible into possible -> make anything possible to achieve  
has -> have  
genetic origin -> their family background/ origin/ genetics  
excel than -> surpass others  
help -> helps  
practise -> practice  
out standing -> outstanding
Tuong, you have not written the appropriate amount of words for this essay to be a completely developed and accurate Task 2 presentation for an IELTS test. The minimum number of words that you should be writing for this type of essay is 250 words. You wrote a total of 180 words only. This lack of word requirement will result in a failing score for this essay.  
  
The reason the essay will fail is because you have not appropriately explained all of the reasoning in the paragraphs you presented. Your opening statement is not a correct paraphrase of the original prompt, your 3 body paragraphs are not properly developed and lack the 3-5 sentence requirement per paragraph, and your concluding statement is not an appropriate concluding summary for the task either. These are the main scoring considerations that led to a failing score for the essay along with the minimum word requirement.  
  
For your reference, it would be best if you review the work of the other students here in order to familiarize yourself with the task 2 essay writing methods, discussion styles, and other requirements. I guarantee that you will improve tremendously after you read, remember, and practice writing your next practice essay based upon previous advice given to other students.  
  
Don't get me wrong though. I see a tremendous amount of potential in your writing that could lead to your becoming a passing exam taker. You just need to further develop your writing and reasoning skills in order to achieve that. Those are skills I can help you improve over time.
*Topic: Some people claim that not enough of the waste from homes is recycled. They say that the only way to increase recycling is for governments to make it a legal requirement. To what extent do you think laws are needed to make people recycle more of their waste?*  
  
Very appreciate if you can give me the scores of IELTS.  
  
Answers:  
  
## The strategy for recycling

  
  
It is true that our waste from home we do not recycle enough in our society. Some agree the increasing legal policy would force us to change the situation of recycling. However, I do not agree with this point of views that the government should take the full responsibilities of recycling by the following reasons.  
  
In my opinion, the legal law is only useful for the short term of changes to recycling properly for our communities. Although people would be afraid of punishment to change the way of fully recycling their daily wastes. Therefore, there are many hidden tricks behind the law. For instance, people would do a good job on recycling in the situation that government would notice, but completely change the way outside the requirement.  
  
Another reason is that I believe the government should do more than just implement the law, and able to educate the idea of protecting our environment. In addition, human behavior can be changed when they agree with the ideas, especially while they received the benefits which would inspire them to change the behavior. For example, the government might run a rewarding campaign to encourage the resident to take the action of recycling. Or even plan ahead in recycling concept into the early education.  
  
In conclusion, legal policy is not only the method to make our earth an environment-friendly place to live, but also there are a variety of strategies that would change our behavior of recycling. I totally agree with the ideas of education to drive the recycling concept from the bottom which would remind deeply for the long term.
Felicia, this is an extent essay. So where is the extent of your disagreement? This is not a simple agree/disagree situation, there needs to be a measurement of your disagreement with the statement. So you have to say "I totally disagree with this statement..." to be clear and responsive to the extent requirement of the essay.  
  
Your second paragraph is a confusing for the reader. I read the paragraph 3 times and I still could not wrap my head around what you are trying to say. For example, your second sentence is a hanging sentence. There is a missing action within the presentation. You only have a subject presented without a verb so the sentence is incomplete. The most problematic sentence in the presentation is as follows:  
  
Although people would be afraid ...recycling their daily wastes.  
  
You need to clarify what you wanted to say in that sentence because it does not make any sense nor is it applicability to the discussion clear to the reader.  
  
By the way, there is no such thing as a legal law. The law is automatically legal just like something done outside the law is automatically illegal. There is no need to state "legal law" in this instance. A reference to the "law" would have been sufficient enough.  
  
Your concluding paragraph is flawed. While the first sentence is correct, the last sentence is wrong, you should not totally agree with the ideas you presented alone. You should also repeat that it is because of those reasons that you completely disagree with the given statement about laws being enacted to encourage more recycling.  
  
Based on these observations, I believe that the following could be your per criteria score for this essay in an actual set up:  
  
TA 4 - this score is based on your prompt deviation from the original presentation  
  
Question: To what extent do you think laws are needed to make people recycle more of their waste?  
Response: I do not agree with this point of views that the government should take the full responsibilities of recycling  
  
There is a big difference between the government taking full responsibility for recycling and the extent that laws are needed to make people recycle waste. Giving the government the responsibility means the government will be in charge of recycling for the people. So the people will not have any recycling duties anymore. The question is whether laws are needed to make people recycle their waste.  
  
C&C 3 - you had ideas that were not presented in a logical and understandable manner of discussion. Refer to my discussion about this topic above for more details.  
  
LR 4 - I explained your problem with the use of English terms above as well.  
  
GRA 3 - I already indicated above the reasons why your essay is extremely difficult to understand in a number of instances, how you misunderstood the prompt question, and how these mistakes caused undue stress on the reader.  
  
I hope that you will not be disheartened by the scores I gave you. You can use these grades as guidelines regarding your necessary points for improvement. I know you can still improve and that we have time to make sure that you do show improvement in your work.
@feliciatu  
I found some mistakes  
You wrote: ...short term ~~of~~ changes ~~to~~ of recycling ...  
  
To + V (not Ving)  
"Although people would (...) tricks behind the law"---> this sentence is wrong. You should write : " Because many people are in fear of forfeit, so there are many hidden tricks behind the law"  
  
Although+ S+V, S+V.
## distance-learning programmes

  
  
*Topic: Many people use distance-learning programmes ( study material, post,TV, the Internet, ect) to study at home, but some people think that it cannot bring the same benefits of attending college or university. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?*  
  
My essay:  
  
Nowadays, an increasing number of people are concerned about the study method. Some poeple thinks that the state-of-art-technology can change the way we learn. Other, however make a convincing argument that the attending college or university is the best way to learn. In my view I strongly agree with the former for the following reasons.  
  
First it is obvious that, student can save a lot of money when they joining online course. The fees of online course are cheaper than tuition fees which students have to pay for joining a college or university, moreover they do not have to pay for textbook fees and administration fees. So, it is a best way for people who keen on learning without have enough money.  
  
In addition, distance learning can help students obtain the huge education resource. For example, many prestigious universities like Princeton, Harvard, Chicago have published many famous course in the Intenet. This is a convinient way for people who live in a remote area or developing countries where the education is quite low.  
  
That is not to say that traditional education should be neglected. Teacher in the universities not only can improve the knowledge and skill for student, but also motivate and interact with students. But unfortunately it has drawbacks due to lack of communicate between student and teacher after class.  
  
To sum up, distance-learning programmes can bring more benefits to the students .Meanwhile, we should not ignore the important of traditional education. Only by doing so we can create the best way of education in the future.
Minh, all of your paragraphs do not fully explain the reasoning behind your topic sentences. You need to be able to better explain yourself in order to help the reader better understand what you are trying to say. For example, in the third paragraph, you speak of how the Ivy league universities have online courses published. Rather than speaking of the publication, you should have spoken of how they have correspondence courses online instead. This would tie in with your last sentence about allowing people in remote areas where the education level is low to complete their education.  
  
Being a single opinion essay, you must refrain from making mention of the other side of the discussion that runs counter to your opinion. There is no need to confuse the reader by introducing a non-related topic that you will not be able to fully explain nor connect with your opinion.  
  
Now, your thesis statement became confusing because you are speaking of the "former" topic in the essay when there was only one topic and opinion presented. In this instance, you should have simple said that you strongly disagree with the statement provided.
*Topic: Convenience foods will become increasingly prevalent and eventually replace traditional foods and traditional methods of food preparation. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?*  
  
## Food in the modern world

  
  
In the past, in the poor period, people only ate a little rice with a few foods. However, it was meaningful.The foods were clear and good for our health. The longevily of elders were high and they were also strong. Nowaday, in the modern term, all are constrast. Gradually, convenience foods and traditional methods of food preparation are replaced because of many reason:  
  
Firstly, i want to mention about convenience foods. The pressure of job, learning or earning money make people hurried. As a result, they do not have time to prepare for their meals and instant noodle becomes their friend.It is easy to cook a bowl of noodle and it also consumpt a little time. Morever, the tasty of fast food is delicious so most of people like it. I am a student, for example, i am so busy all day. Therefore, after returning from school at 11 o'clock, i am pretty tired, i often eat noodle for lunch because i want to take a rest and i also have to go school in the afternoon.  
  
Secondly, the way to cook is really changed. Although we know that eating processed food is not good, we eat it. In the past, my mother spent time on preparing food. She washed fishes, pork or beef and marinate. Then, she cooked or grilled. I feel these dishes delicious, safe and healthy. Morever, my mother also felt happy because she left her heart in the foods and we complimented on her foods.However, it is not so. Not only is it processed by industry, it is also added some poisons which are not good for our health. Then, user only pours the boil water to the noodle and eat. These feelings about cooking dishes are not existed in the modern life.  
  
In conclusion, the modern people are not as in the past anymore. They have hurried life. The do not enjoy themself. I think we need to change now. We change because of our health and we change because of our the next generation.
Hang, this essay would only get a score of 2 in the TA section, which means the essay will automatically fail the Task 2 essay test. The reason that this essay will fail the test is because you misunderstood the prompt discussion requirement. Please look at the comparison below of the original prompt instruction for the discussion and what you did in the essay:  
  
Question: To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?  
Response: ...convenience foods and traditional methods of food preparation are replaced because of many reason:  
  
It is at that very point that you failed the essay test. While your body of paragraphs could have been accepted as the reasons why you agree with the statement, your prompt response was totally out of focus. It is nowhere near responding properly to the original prompt question. As such, the TA score will be a 2 because you do not express an opinion in response to the provided task. In fact, you barely respond to the task.
## sale of four types of digital games

  
  
The bar graph compares the global sales based on the sales of four types of digital games from 2000 to 2006.  
  
It is clear that the handheld games were the most popular games, and the online game increased a lot in the period.  
  
A close look reveals that in 2000, handheld games stood at around 10 billion pounds and had an upward trend, and hit a peak at just under 18 pounds in 2006, while the sales of console games were just around half as many as that of handheld games. In the over following five years, the sales of console games experienced a downward trend, and hit its low point at roughly 3 billion pounds in 2006, which was the lowest level of sales out of four digital games. Interestingly, the data of the sales of online games was not shown until in 2002 at approximately 2 billion pounds, which was the lowest level in this year out of four games. However, the sales of online games increased gradually and reach a high at about 9 billion pounds in 2006. Its sales were the second highest level in 2006.  
  
*
*My supplementary corrections:*  
...~~In the over~~ During the following five years,  
...hit its low point/bottom at roughly 3 billion ~~pounds~~ dollars in 2006,  
Interestingly, the data of ~~the sales of~~ online games revenue  
...2 billion ~~pounds~~ dollars  
... the lowest level ~~in this year~~ ~~out of four games~~ of all types in this year.  
... reached a ~~high~~ summit at
Tapir, the overview summary needs to be at least 3 sentences long. You do not have a complete prompt overview in this instance. The examiner will be looking for the following information in the summary paragraph:  
  
1. Type of chart  
2. Games for comparison  
3. Measurement type (billions)  
4. Years covered (2000-2006)  
5. Trending statement  
  
Follow the above format for all the Task 1 type essays of the chart comparison kind when presenting the summary overview.  
  
There is a distinct possibility that this essay can receive a failing score because, although you presented more than 150 words, you are presenting the information in a single paragraph composed purely of run-on sentences. Divide the information into more readable paragraphs of 3-5 sentences each in order to make the essay easier to read and also, cause less stress for the reader who needs to understand what you wrote and take note of important discussion and comparison points.  
  
The information you provide is incomplete. You must present the information on a per bracket basis (2000-2003, 2003-2006) and then focus on 2004 in a separate paragraph because of the equal line comparison point for mobile phone and online games. Remember, graph charts always require comparison points as part of the analytical report.
*Could you please give the essay below a detailed grade? Thank you so much!*  
  
## Teachers under the critical eye

  
  
**Many people argue that in order to improve educational quality, high school students are encouraged to make comments or even criticism on their teachers. Others think it will lead to loss of respect and discipline in the classroom. Discuss both views and give your own opinion**  
  
*My answer:*  
  
The argument that supporting would-be undergraduates to be outspoken and critical to teachers if needed to boost academic development is surging. Others said its consequence would be moral degeneration in class. Both viewpoints will be considered prior to my insights as follows.  
  
Obviously, allowing tertiary students to be vocal in commenting or criticising teachers benefits learning process. Students and teachers will express their opinions equally and create productive classes. Additionally, instead of being indoctrinated, students perceive the world by their reasoning with teacher's help. For example, my art class design projects online and exchange ideas or even constructive feedbacks with tutors.  
  
On the other hand, entitled to criticising teachers, students will increasingly break the rules and show blatant disrespect to their supervisors. Since there is no clarification on how much intensity should be placed in a critique, students may unconsciously cross the line and demoralise educators by extreme criticisms. This would certainly degrade social system and threaten mankind.  
  
The common belief that everyone is entitled to their opinions is necessary in our free and fair society but I think it remains underdeveloped in class. The matter is there are students who oppose another's ideas use the phrase: 'well, it is just my opinion' without any elaboration. Thus, I believe to forward academic qualities, it is prerequisite that students provide justifications of their arguments predicated on rationality and evidence rather than bland assertion.  
  
Briefly, interaction between students and teachers is regarded as the major strategy to achieve superior education paradigm. Students can amplify their voice on issues or supportively remark teachers. However, providing students understand that it takes times to learn from mistakes, they will manage to perform better and support their teachers.
Huyen, here is my opinion / possible scoring consideration for your essay:  
  
TA - 5  
Good work with the prompt paraphrase. However, I would refrain from using the term argument and instead, refer to the topic as a "debate" in this instance. That is because the term "argument" was already used in the original prompt. If the word has already been used as a keyword in the prompt, then you need to find a synonym or different word with the same meaning for it, in your version of the prompt / prompt paraphrase.  
  
Your concluding paragraph is not an accurate discussion summary. You presented new areas for discussion rather than simply rounding out the discussion with a concise listing of opinions and reasons from the body paragraph. So your concluding paragraph is faulty.  
  
C&C - 5  
  
Your second paragraph lacks further development. Your example does not provide a proper supporting scenario for the previous discussion in the paragraph. You need at least 1 more explanatory sentence to truly clarify what you were trying to say in this paragraph. The third paragraph is an inaccurate exaggeration. Having students criticize their professors will not result in a threat to mankind. You need to use more transition sentences going from one paragraph to the next. You also need to clarify that you are referring to popular points of view in the discussion for the prompt POV's. Use terms such as "Some students feel..." for one paragraph then "Other students argue that..." just to clarify the source of the point of view which should be public knowledge and information prior to your personal opinion.  
  
LR - 6  
  
You make good use of the English language in this essay. You use enough advanced English words to describe opinions and other points of view. While not always perfect, most of the words that you use are appropriate for the discussion. Except, as I mentioned earlier, in the portions where you exaggerate the terms and presentations in the essay.  
  
GRA - 6  
  
You have a pretty good English sentence structure in this essay. Though sometimes improperly structured, your use of complex sentences are enough to create an acceptable mix with the simple sentences. You do not have any run-on or extremely long sentences, which helped to boost your score in this essay.
*Some people think that employers should not care about the way their employees dress because what matters is the quality of their work.To what extent do you agree or disagree?*  
  
## The outfit over the job performance?

  
  
Over the past few decades, dressing code at workplace has been an emerging matter of debate.It is assumed that recruiters have no reason to worry about their staff's dressing style because it is their working performance that matters.Personally, I partly agree with this point of view.  
  
On the one hand, there are good reasons why a number of individuals think that the way employees get dressed is less important.First of all, there are jobs that do not necessarily require dressing up elegantly and fashionably such as website designers, accountants.These employees just sit at their working desk and glue their eyes to the laptop screen and file papers virtually all their working time.Their designing products and precision in documents are the things that really matter and managers ought to pay attention to these factors.Secondly, these ocupations do not involve meeting clients or counterparts;therefore, it should be made free for employees as to what to wear at work.  
  
On the other hand, numerous people hold the notion that employers should take their staff's dressing style into full consideration.These may work in the sectors that require workers to dress up smartly and professionally such as teachers, flight attendants, salespersons.Worlking in these fields, employees have to expose to students, customers and attend meetings on a frequent basis.Their clothes are of crucial importance due to the fact that their external appearance could leave a negative or positive impression on their counterparts, thereby impacting on the image of their company and the result of their working mission.  
  
To sum up, I pen down saying that both fashion style and work productiveness have essential role to play at workplace.Recruiters should care whether about the former or the later aspect depending on their field of work.
Nguyen, please do not write exaggerations in the essay. Unless there is actually an argument being presented in the original prompt, do not use terms such as "emerging debate". If you review the topic for discussion, the term used is "Some people think...". The keyword here is "think", which implies a thoughtful discussion of an opinion. That is highly different from the term "argument" which can be paraphrased as a "debate".  
  
In the first paragraph, your second reason should be the topic sentence instead of a last sentence. Being the last sentence in the paragraph, you were not able to explain your second reason fully. However, it shows a direct connection to the discussion you present in the paragraph so it should be located somewhere at the start of the paragraph. It should be either the first or second sentence in the presentation.  
  
Your comma use is incorrect. If you are only presenting 2 connected items or descriptions, use the word "and". When presenting several similar terms, use a comma. Any sentence presentation of a list over 3 words should use a comma. 2 words, use the word "and" instead.  
  
Good work on the summarized conclusion. It is a highly creative manner of presenting the concise discussion previously presented.