dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
*Topic:  
## Many people work in other countries these days. They also take their families with them.

  
**Give your opinion about the situation. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?***  
  
It is a popular trend that people immigrate to other nations and bring along their family members. While this trend has several drawbacks, I believe that the overall benefits are more significant.  
  
Admittedly, there are two main difficulties children might experience when they first move to a country. Firstly, it is the culture gap and language barriers that hold them back from making new friends. In the light of these obstacles, children, especially introverted ones, tend to avoid interacting with other people, and thus, they are likely to suffer from loneliness and melancholy. Secondly, children's education will be interrupted if they have to move to a new country. Not only because the school's bureaucracy takes time, but because parents also have to deal with a lot of paperwork, which could take up to months, in order for their children to migrate with them.  
  
Despite the availability of the arguments mentioned above, I believe that the benefits of moving to a new country with a whole family far outweigh the drawbacks. The main objective of living in family units instead of separating as individuals is to take care of each other. Children need to have parents around to share and guide them through life's struggles while having children alongside means greater companionship for expatriates' parents. Apart from that, in many cases, people work in developed countries where educational systems outperform that of their motherland. It is obvious that their children will get a finer education or even be able to secure a seat in some prestigious university of that country.  
  
In conclusion, although children might have to deal with some immediate problems at first, I believe the long-term benefits of bringing their families with them to other countries outweigh the disadvantages.
Essay IELTS - Children nowadays watch significantly more television than than in the past  
  
**Children nowadays watch significantly more television than in the past, which reduces their activity levels accordingly. Why is this case? What measures can you suggest to encourage higher levels of activity among children?**  
  
In many years recent, the rate of youngsters watching television amplification in a hurry. Absolutely, the number is more tempestuous than in the past. So the television is a tendency which takes the edge off children's activities. There are multifarious reasons leading to this phenomenon and various strategies to encourage them to be more active.  
  
Essentially, the development of technology is more and more successful. As a result, television becomes a necessary thing in almost family. Moreover, in view of the fact that the film is procedured additionally special effect, interesting content. So all of that manufactures diverse programs which enrapture a greater number of children viewers. The other reason for the build-up of television viewing in the children is linked with the way their parents educate them. Because they let their child pay attention to television at a very early age and for a long time. Naturally, that manner makes up their predisposition to join the television. As we can see, television is a good tool to alleviate prostration. But watching television too much is turn to negative position due to kiddie's health and skill.  
  
However, the outdoors activity such as football, badminton, cycle, swim that is a quality for kiddies to learn and grow. One approach which could be taken to galvanize young children is to recommend them to take part in beneficial groups and travel. Furthermore, the parents must be taken the time to do interesting outdoor activities and circumscribe hour's watching television.  
  
In short, the contemporary technology, the transcendence of television's programs contribute with the education in family influence on their television watching habits. As we discussed above, there are several methods to face up to the problem of increased television viewing and decreased physical activities in today's children.
I am afraid that the writer's exaggerated form of word usage is the biggest problem with regards his writing skills. This essay sounds more like a dictionary was used for word references. The writer chose complicated sounding words and used them. Unfortunately she did not understand the meaning of the word, nor how to use it properly in a sentence. He tried too hard to impress and failed. Word usage, when done properly increases the score across all considerations. Used improperly and you end up with this failing score presentation. There is no reason for this essay to recieve a passing score in any aspect because of wrong word usage, wrong sentence structure throughout, and a lack of coherence in the thought presentations.
Just as the expert consultant said, I think you are using too many complicated words which is making it hard for the reader to fully comprehend the message you are trying to portray. You also have a few grammar and punctuation errors. Such as "..." which can be replaced by "television ... a necessary thing in almost all families." Just re-read and find more sentences like this that don't make sense and make the appropriate changes. I can not comprehend what you are trying to say in this sentence, "... film is procedure additionally special effect..." Overall just make sure that your reader will understand the message after reading it.
When I read, I was amazed by the words you chose. Actually it is a good approach to have a piece of academic writing but you should lessen the times you use them. You should focus on the way you analyse the given question and you express your ideas.  
  
Most of the sentences here are simple sentences, which you can link some together to make a more complicated sentence. In other words, the length of your sentences seems the same.  
  
Corrected: Moreover... special effect; **therefore**, all of that ... of children viewers.  
  
Corrected: ... tool to alleviate **prostration but watching** television ...  
  
In addition, I believe that "**procedure**" is a noun. I already checked and there is nothing related to verbial term.  
**Outdoors activity** must be outdoor activity  
  
Those above are my recommendation. I wish they would be helpful.
*Topic:  
**At present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.***  
## Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

  
  
Nowadays, younger generations account for a larger share of the population in a number of nations than older generations. From my point of view, the situation is more of an advantage than a disadvantage. In spite of being less experienced, young adults are more creative and place less stress on the financial system.  
  
First and foremost, countries where younger people are in the majority are more likely to be the cradle of creativity and innovation, and thereby stand out from others. Compared with older generations, younger generations have a better imagination and creative power. They are more capable of coming up with groundbreaking ideas and applying them. Lack of experience is admittedly their weakness, and they are less familiar with time-honored customs and norms. However, in this era when disruptive innovations mushrooms, creativity outweighs experience.  
  
In addition, a higher proportion of young adults can help ease the financial burden of a country, since they produce less pressure on the health care system than older people. Younger people have a stronger immune system. They are less prone to illnesses, especially the chronic ones such as diabetes which can incur heavy medical bills. Therefore, the medical system is put under less strain. The country can allocate less financial resources in this respect.  
  
In conclusion, the positive side of a younger population is more significant than the negative side. Not merely does it provide a boost to creativity, but it also produces less pressure on health care services. Thus, the state can be more competitive as well as save money.
Even though the grammar of the student does not have perfect sentence presentations, there is a sense of simple sentence formation control in the presentation. The writer has used a logical thought process and perfectly discussed the possible negatives as positives. The commonly presented counter arguements in support of the elderly was cleverly debunked by the writer. There is a clear sense of a strong written debate with a clear winning side. He clearly understood the overall approach required by the prompt. Not a bad job. While the writer may not get a superior passing score, he is definitely not going to fail with this type of presentation.
## my favorite free time activity is traveling

  
  
One of my favorite thing I do when I have free time is traveling. I like traveling because I am an extrovert person who like discovery the world. After every journey, I have learned a lot of thing about people, culture and nature where I have gone. I always travel with my friends or my family, I don't like to travel alone, because the more the merrier. I have taken a vacation to 15 cities and provinces in Vietnam, and I also want to travel abroad to see more thing in the world. I usually research in the Internet when I first arrive in a new place. I research about the features, the traditional foods, the famous place and the taboos in which I would like to travel.  
  
Traveling have a lot of benefits that can help you in the future. Firstly, you can learn something interesting about people, tradition and nature in which you traveled. Secondly, you can meet someone who can be your friends in the future or can teach you something that you don't know. Thirdly, you can refresh yourself after the stressful days of work or study, you can relax and have a nice time. Finally, you may discovery the new place that you have never know about there before.  
  
So many people like traveling nowadays because they are very stressful and have pressure after work. They want to travel like a holiday that they can resort or relax to balance your life.  
  
I think, domestic tourism will be developed in the near future. I will recommend a foreign tourist something interesting that they can do when they travel to Vietnam. The first, they should go to Ha Long Bay - a cultural heritage was recognized by UNESCO in 2010. The second, they can go to Ho Chi Minh city to see how the economic in Vietnam founded and developed? The third, discovery Vietnam's culture and nature by go to the ancient capital of Hue, or go to Phong Nha Ke Bang cave - one of the most beautiful caves in the world, or Phanxipang - the highest mountain in Viet, and so on. There are a lot of things they should try when they arrive Vietnam such as wear traditional Vietnamese clothes - ao dai, eat traditional Vietnamese food - pho, buy something in Cai Rang floating market,... Vietnam have many things so interesting that they can't find in other countries or anywhere in the world.  
  
All of my traveling were successful, but sometimes, it still had some problems such as airline delays or bad weather. In the last journey, when I traveled to Vung Tau beach, I did not check the weather forecast before. So, three days in there was not interesting as I expected. It was rained cats and dogs; I can't go anywhere except my accommodation. If I could choose to live anywhere, I still choose Vietnam, because the weather is good, people in Vietnam are very kind and sense of human. And if the question is where I want to travel most, I will choose Canada, because of the salmon, I like salmon most. The Canada's culture is interesting too.
is traveling  
Right from the start, make sure to indicate if you are referring to international or domestic travel. That way the writing direction and discussions points are obvious to the reader. The first paragraph is confusing as you represent yourself as a world or international traveller then, you take it back or change your declaration towards the end. Avoid misrepresentations or confusing claims.  
  
Traveling have a lot of benefits that can help you in the future.  
Since you are asked to talk about your travel experiences, refer to all related points in first person. Talk about what you learned, experienced, regret, and enjoy. Do not lose sight of who should be speaking and why.  
  
I think, domestic tourism will be developed in the near future. I  
How does this paragraph connect to your travel experiences? It disconnects from the top and bottom presentation as it deviates from the discussion focus.
Writing Task 1 The chart below shows the results of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying  
  
Sample Answer Essay IELTS Cambridge 15: Coffee and Tea Buying and Drinking Habits (Cambridge IELTS 15)  
The chart below shows the results of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities.  
  
Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.  
Write at least 150 words.  
The graphic presentation illustrates the finding percentage of people purchasing and consuming coffee and tea in 5 different urban areas around Australia. Overall, what stands out from the chart is purchased fresh coffee in the last four weeks was the least popular activity whereas went to the coffee shop is the most popular in the given cities.  
  
The peaking point of went to the coffee shop in about 1 month is in Melbourne at about 65%, in contrast, the lowest point is in Adelaide where it only reached about 50%. Consumed instant coffee in four weeks is fairly popular around the given area as it is the second most popular factor with the only exception is in Adelaide where it outweighs the number of people who went to the cafe for coffee or tea and become the prominent factor there however the highest proportion is in Brisbane where it reaches over 50%. The number of people who used fresh coffee in the last 4 weeks reaches the highest point in Sydney at about 45% while Brisbane and Adelaide witness the least popular figure in this category at about 33% and 34% respectively.  
  
*
The graphic presentation illustrates  
The image provided is niether an illustrative diagram nor a procedural presentation. The image is incorrectly identified. Please familiarize yourself with the images used in this task and memorize these. The proper image identification is needed for an accurate summary overview. Improper references reduce the accuracy score.  
  
Information wise, the writer identified all the important data. The problem is that it is not clearly divided into 2 reporting paragraphs. A task 1 essay usually wals a total of 3 paragraphs. That is the required and thus, expected report presentation. The writer forgot about that requirement. For clarity purposes, the student must divide the paragraphs using related points. The 2 references to bought coffee should be in 1 paragraph with the bought aspect beinga seperate paragraph.
## tourism has a very big impact in Vietnam

  
  
When was the last time you travel to another country? Did you follow the rule and enjoy the environment there? If not, you should pay some attention next time you travel.  
  
Tourism is an important industry for some places. Vietnam isn't an exception, for some cities, tourism is the main economy. For example, Da Nang, Hue and Nha Trang. However, in the last 2 years, Corona which is a virus has been common throughout the entire world. This will bring both positive and negative for the tourism industry in Vietnam.  
  
On the one hand, tourism has been used as the main industry and help many unemployed people to have a job. However, now when the tourism is hugely impacted by the virus. Many people were unemployed again and start to starve because of the lack of money. Furthermore, many cities are now having a big fall in the economy and the government is trying to deal with the problems.  
  
On the other hand, in the lockdown time, when the tourism isn't working anymore. The environment is improving rapidly. Because almost no transportation is allowed to go so the air pollution is significantly reduced. This will help the tourism industry come back stronger than ever as a result of improvement in the environment.  
  
To conclude, tourism has a very big impact in Vietnam so in the time when the virus is viral, every tourism activity has to stop. This makes a mostly negative impact on Vietnam. But in the future, these impacts can positively bring the tourism industry back.
The first paragraph is not inviting. It does not catch the reader's attention. It also does not create a solid reference to the central article focus. What is the article really about? Why should the reader be interested in tourism rules? Are you talking about rules in general or in Vietnamese wills for tourists only? When the introduction does not have any appeal, the reader won't care.  
  
For example, Da Nang, Hue and Nha Trang  
What about these places? What is this reference for? Where is the meaning or relevance? Do not write hanging sentences. The purpose is to inform the readers, not confuse them. There is no sense to this writing.  
  
The instruction is to write an article, not an opinion paper or editorial. So why was this written as an opinion paper?
***Some people believe that to protect local culture, tourism should be banned in some areas whereas others think that change is inevitable and banning tourism will have no benefits.***  
  
## Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

  
  
Tourism has been becoming an economic cornerstone of many nations in the world, which can have both positive and negative influences on some areas. There are different views on whether tourists should be prohibited to visit several places in order to preserve the culture and traditions there. In my opinion, a visit to tourist attractions should be maintained without prohibition.  
  
On the one hand, tourism activities have been ruined or damaged numerous spots in term of local custom and tradition. Many people visit a destination and pass other assortment of values, beliefs or behaviour, permeating the locals' deep rooted cultural beauty. The residents would adapt to the new and neglect what they have been used to but still been invaluable. Moreover, many religious events take place while visitors come to snap some fabulous photographs or communicate noisily about the event. Those types of behaviour can drive the indigenous to distraction from the important situation.  
  
On the other hand, in the main many areas from cities to villages count on the income from touristry. In other words, people residing there take advantage of tourist attractions all year round. For example, in Con Dao island, many families or individuals launch various services to support tourists who arrive there mainly for spiritual purposes and financially support themselves, which means if the island is devoid of visitors, a number of residents will suffer from poverty or income reduction. Banning travels seems not feasible to protect the island' traditions as the indigenous have been working on this effectively and wisely.  
  
To sum up, retaining traditional local culture is as significant as developing tourism; however, a ban on tourism in some spots cannot be an appropriate approach to fulfil this goal. This decision must be considered disservice to the locals in some aspects.
## IELTS part 1: Wheat exports (line chart)

  
  
Please refer to our private review services since you have specific review specifications. Free review only covers general personal statement guidelines. Thank you.  
  
How much wheat had been exported in various regions is illustrated in the line chart. Overall, it can be inferred that the Canada market fluctuated significantly while Australia and Europe had a stable contrasting trend from 1985 to 1990.  
  
In 1985, abroad countries bought wheat from Canada the most, but their export was nearly equalized by Australia who sold over 15 million of tonnes worldwide a year later. Similar to Canada, Europe also experienced a sharp decline of mostly 5 million before reaching 15 million which was kept stable until the next year. During 1987-1988, while there was a considerable growth in wheat export of Canada, reaching the peak of 25 million, Australia was reported to have gradually decreased their market. This trend had not stopped for Australia until 1990 when they could only sell about 10 million abroad. Meanwhile, Canada had experienced a dramatic plummet of more than 10 million before bouncing back and ending the year 1990 at nearly 20 million. Ultimately, in the last 2 years, Europe was the only area with a positive trend as it can be portrayed that their wheat export gradually had increased from 15 to over 20 million.  
  
Thanks for reading my piece of writing. I would like you guys to have feedback on my structure and suggest improvements for vocabs. Also, if possible, could you give a general score on my wiritng.  
  
Again, thanks in advance!  
  
*
## Topic: The use of mobile phone is as antisocial as smoking.

  
***Smoking is banned in certain places so mobile phone should be banned like smoking. To what extent?***  
  
Some people believe that using mobile phones is equally harmful to society as smoking and it is, therefore, also expected to be banned. From my perspective, I am in complete disagreement with this opinion as now will be discussed.  
  
Firstly, it is prejudiced that people compare the use of mobile phones equivalently antisocial as smoking. Since phone and tobacco are two distinctively different entities, which exist for different purposes, the comparison between them is unreasonable. Tobacco has long been proving to be detrimental to not only the smoker themselves but also the health of society at large. The use of mobile phones, admittedly, has some drawbacks, but it does not dangerous or threatens the life of anybody. For example, some critics might point out that the excessive use of smartphones is attributable to myopia, or the noise of cell phones might be an annoyance to the surrounding people. These problems, however, can be easily curbed by limiting the time on screen, or turning on the silent mode when in public areas.  
  
Secondly, while it makes sense why tobacco should be prohibited for its deadly effect, phones have numerous benefits to our life. Ever since the introduction of mobile phones, it has revolutionized the way we communicate and how we live to the point that everybody needs a phone to work or study today. Most jobs require employees to be either available by phone, for example, doctors and police officers, or to use their phones throughout the day, as is common with businessmen and lawyers. Mobile phones even become more necessary in times of pandemic such as the Covid-19 when everybody is required to work and study from home.  
  
In conclusion, I content that mobile phones, unlike tobacco, have insignificant drawbacks to our society. In contrast, its enormous benefits make the idea of banning phones sounds far-fetched.
as now will be discussed  
Provide your discussion statement for a proper opinion statement response. The topics that you will use as reasons will allow you to create a more comprehensive summarized response.  
  
prejudiced  
Improper word usage. Prejudice refers to unreasonable feelings, opinions, or attitudes, especially of a hostile nature, regarding an ethnic, racial, social, or religious group.. There cannot be any prejudice among material things. There can however, be bias as in " I am bias towards the IPhone." Regardless.the sentence implication /meaning is incorrect.  
  
I content  
Word usage error once again. Content refers to the subjects or topics covered in a book or document. The word you are looking for is " contend" which means, " to assert or maintain earnestly" .  
  
Work on your vocabulary. Do not use words without knowing if it applies to your writing. Use a dictionary for meaning clarification first.