dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
***Modern technology is changing our world. This has advantages such as bringing people closer together through communication. It also has disadvantages such as destroying the differences between cultures.  
  
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?***  
  
It is the argued that the sophisticated of technology can bring several effects to human life. I strongly agree with the positive side of the technology that able to make the people become more intensive in communication with their relatives. Thus, I tend to disagree with the statement that the technology can be the issue of the various cultures damage. So, this essay will first present how the technology can make the people become more solid in their relationships and why it not totally harmful to the difference customs which followed by a reasonable conclusion.  
  
Firstly, we have proven that today we are living in the technological era. We can reject that fact because of this day we are using the technology as much as our necessary, mainly in communication way. For instance, we use the smartphone to complete our demands to interaction with other people as the social creatures. According to the Global Technology Research of Kyoto University in 2013 has illustrated that the mankind over the world today had increased in gadget usage by 69% higher than in the one past decade. It has proven that globally we have depended on the one way of a communication method which is based on the technology.  
  
Secondly, the negative side of technology is only happening if the people also have the intention to do the severe actions by it. Despite that, I believe that the technology can unfold the tolerance of humankind in this world based on the people diversity in their beliefs or cultures. It may be true there some issues about the racism problem through the technology usage, but the other facts which had proven the positives side of technology have to be our considerations. Furthermore, at present based on technological usage, the people have more time and flexibility space to be more know other cultures in this world.  
  
To sum up, the pros and cons of the technological implementation absolutely must present. However, the advice and the wise perspective of the technological usage depend on its users, we cannot make a general judgment based only on some negatives issue. (351 words)
Hi,there are several advice for you.  
  
1. It is the argued that ~~the~~ sophisticated of technology ...  
... positive side of ~~the~~ technology that able to make ~~the~~ people become ...  
  
in my point of view, you put improper article "the" in your summary, remember several conditions you can use article **"the"**such as to represents superlative and to say something that people know what are you talking about because you mentioned the thing before or it's clear from the content.  
  
2. I **strongly agree with ... Thus, I tend to disagree with ...**  
in my point of view, merge both of those sentence and makes the overview more clear.  
  
3. ... judgment based only on some negatives ~~issue~~--- issues (plural/singular problem)  
  
Keep writing!
**Modern technology is changing our world. This has advantages such as bringing people closer together through communication. It also has disadvantages such as destroying the differences between cultures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?**  
  
As the impact of modern technology, people are able to get communication or information quickly and effectively without thinking of distance. However, others argue the improvement has some drawbacks such as destroying the differences of cultures. Personally, I totally disagree in the second nation since as far as I consider technology help some community in rural area to show off its unique. This essay will first discuss how technology cannot destroy people's culture, and how it is able to present those differences.  
  
Culture is that have lived in a community since ancient time, and it cannot be destructed by anything else, even technology. For instance, in my country, Indonesia, there are two districts that have different cultures. Before two centuries, those communities did not know what was mobile phone, how to use it, but when it was entered to the areas, it became popular and it had owned by almost all inhabitants there. Though, the technology had entered the place, all of traditions, arts, and culture activities still happened based on both districts beliefs. There is nothing change.  
  
As a matter of fact, the technology is able to show that varies to other people. Taking a famous area in Sulawesi called Toraja as an example. Annually, inhabitants in that place hold an annual event namely "Happy Desember", it happens in beginning of December until the end. It aims for presenting Toraja's culture, traditional dances, also their attractive activities. At the first time, only some people knew it, but after it showed in television, and shared by people, enormous tourists have come, from local to overseas. It proves that technology is unable to destroy human's culture varies.  
  
All in all, I believe that the presence of technology is for good purposing, in culture aspect, it is able to help community in small region for introducing its divergence.
Hi Nuraini, as I go over your essay, I would not lie that most of the sentences you constructed in this essay are quiet confusing, which is normal for a good learner, the good thing is, we can still improve the essay and this where your Essay Forum Family plays a big role.  
  
Having said that, please find suggested modifications below;  
  
- ~~As~~With the impact of modern technology,  
- people are able ~~to get communication~~to communicate better and get~~or~~ information quickly and effectively  
- without ~~thinking of~~taking a distance.  
- However, others argue that the improvement  
- differences of culture~~s~~ .  
- in the second ~~nation~~notion since  
- ~~as far as I consider~~ technology helped some community - (...) its unique capability to link people and machines .  
- This essay will ~~first~~~~discuss~~prove that~~how~~ technology  
  
- Culture ~~is that have~~~~lived~~exist in a community ...  
  
There you have it Nuraini, I hope the above remarks are helpful to your revision.  
For future writing reference, mind the construction of your sentences.
**Writing Task I--Modes of Travel in England**  
  
A breakdown of the list regarding the forms of travel which experienced the changes during five years in Britain is revealed in the tables. The data is presented by miles per person in each visible years. Overall, the changes of the British style in traveled during the years as majority saw an upward trend, exceptionally for the bicycle and local bus usage which have been a downward trend by users.  
  
As can be seen, the car usage for traveling was the most popular transportation during the years rather than the other ways. Whereas, taxi and bicycle usage took over the first and the second alternatives respectively. However, the taxi saw a dramatic increase by three-fold higher than in 1985.  
  
Some forms of transportations such as the bicycle, local bus and walking witnessed a marginal decline where the users of bike fell by ten people in 2000, while the number of pedestrians and the local bus saw a significant decrease by around 20 persons and about twofold lower than in the same year respectively. (176 words)  
  
*
Hi,there are several mistakes in your summary.  
1. ... in Britain is revealed ~~in the tables.~~ in the table (only one table/singular)  
2.presented by miles per person in each visible~~years~~ . ----> each followed by singular  
3.while the number of pedestrians and the local bus saw a significant decrease ... ----> be careful to represents data. in my point of view, there are only a slight decrease for pedestrians by 18 people and not precisely two-folds lower than in the same.  
  
Keep writing and break a leg!
**Average distance per person per year. The table below gives information about changes in modes of travel in England between 1985 and 2000.**  
  
A breakdown about the number of distance of modes of transport that is used of people in England over 15-year period, begin at 1985 is measured in miles and presented in the table. Overall, it can be seen that, car was the popular modes of travel over that period, and there was upward trend regarding changes of all modes of transport.  
  
to begin with, in 1985 was the smallest proportion than others. It experienced the average distance per person just 13 around four-fold smaller than local distance, bus and bicycle. On one hand, car was the most popular than local bus and other as much as 3199 far bigger than both of them which just under 500. Besides, walking and train witnessed the number of distance no more than 300.  
  
Secondly, in 2000 there was down ward trend in three modes transportation. It is shown by bicycle, local bus and walking just under 300, while others was a rapid increase. The most popular over this period was car at 4806, while the second popular was other at 585. So, it witnessed the number of all modes increase dramatically from 470 to 6475. However, taxi was a small rise by 22 and train from 239 to 366.(206w).  
  
*
**Modern technology is changing our world. This has advantages such as bringing people closer together through communication. It also has disadvantages such as destroying the differences between cultures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?**  
  
In the present, developing of modern technology has made world better than in the past. Some people argue that, the benefit of this situation is the communication of each other people more good, but the drawback of that is make the culture from others people or states become destroy. And personally, I extremely believe that the positive effect of improvement of technology and disagree about the disadvantage that is explained.  
  
Firstly, modern technology brings increase of the changing our world, this situation causes people in domestic can know about the information from international countries. For instance, in the past people just found news in radio and just news from local area, but now from the internet ,television or other facilities we can see anything, however we are not there. On one hand, this situation have made developing countries like Indonesia more familiar , because the information rose rapidly, such as information about the pretty area like Bali, Lombok, or Bandung. Although there is merit about the technology, but some people assumed that it will destroy of different culture, and I tend to disagree regarding this opinion.  
  
Technoology causes societies more underestand with other culture in several areas. We can find this information and learn of culture through youtube without pay accomodation to go to there. So, i think that with the modern technology makes humans more get information fastest and it will not damage other culture of people. It refers to explanation of art and culture agency from United States which explained the modern technology rose of understanding of societies fom different countries as much as 15% and it brings positive effect for developing of the cultures like traditional dance, sing, or other arts.  
  
All in all, the statement regarding the merit of improvement of technology makes people more closer than other is true and really happen and then makinng people understand the difference of other culture in different areas.(320w).
**How Cyber Monday Is Transforming as Shoppers Get Better Connected**  
  
Recently, online shop become famous in the USA and it will predict always developing over time because people tend take easy in particular shopping. Top online shops in the USA always have best offer to the consumer and they give easiest shopping way, because technology developed rapidly in particular internet and smart phone so consumer can use their smart phone as transaction . Interestingly, the biggest online shop Amazon and Walmart give unique offer which attract many consumers. For instances, every weekend on Friday and Saturday they have special offer called black Friday weekend and black Saturday weekend. The strategy of online shop entirely impressive and it is the best strategy because every weekend normally people which is busy at work place in the weekend they off and spend time on their home with family. This situation can be caught by online shop and they offers big discount of normal price from 30 until 40 percent. Usually people hit on Thursday night and shopping on the Friday or they hit on Saturday night and shopping on Sunday morning.  
  
Source: time
Hello,  
  
people tend (**TO**) take easy in particular shopping.  
they give (**THE**) easiest shopping way,  
consumer can use their smart phone as transaction (... **medium/tool**)  
The strategy of online shop (missing verb 》 **is** ) entirely impressive  
  
every weekend normally people ~~which~~ (**WHO**) ~~is~~ (people》 **are** ) busy at work place in the weekend they (ARE ) off  
  
they offer~~s~~ (they》plural ) big discount  
  
Gluck^^~
**The table below gives information about changes in modes of travel in England between 1985 and 2000.**  
  
A comparison about travelling ways in England for two different years, which are 1985 and 2000, measured by average distance per person per year in miles, is revealed in the table. As a general trend, the number of all modes route saw a significant rise. Meanwhile, both years still presented private car as the favourite way to get travel based on its length.  
  
Look at the detail, for personal travel methods, such as walking, bicycle, and car, witnessed a different trend. While car could spend 3, 199 miles in 1985 and increased by almost 2,000 miles, taking a distance by fool and bicycle declined steady. Walking experienced a few decrease by 18 miles to 237 miles in 2000. At the same time, bicycle stayed at almost 40-50 miles.  
  
For, another way, public transportation, most of them experienced an upward trend. Take a look at bus ways, local and local distance bus could travel with almost twofold route in 2000. Those busses were able to go in 274 miles and 124 miles respectively. Train and taxi also did the same. Starting from 239 and 13 miles, both of them increased significantly to 42 and 366 miles. Meanwhile, other methods rose by approximately 100 miles from 450 in the initial year.  
  
*   
*Changes in modes of travel in England between 1985 and 2000*
Hi Nuraini, below are my thoughts on your analysis essay.  
  
- ~~which are~~ 1985 and 2000 respectively ,  
- number of all the modes of transportation in the route saw a significant rise.  
  
- Look at the details , for personal travel methods,  
- such as walking, bicycle, and car,it witnessed a different trend.  
- While a car could spend 3,  
- taking a distance by fool - I'm not sure what you mean by this phrase, please, please specify.  
  
- and bicycle use steadily declined ~~steady~~ .  
- Walking, experienced a few decrease  
  
There you have it Nuraini, I hope the above remarks are helpful to your revision and I have left the last paragraph for you to practice your editing skills and I hope you follow through with the modifications.
There are eight ways to create success in the life according to seven years of research and 500 interviews. First of all is the passion according to Freeman Thomas who talk about passion can bring to the success because do it for love. Secondly, Rupert Murdoach said that the success must do with hard work because nothing comes easily. Thirdly, put the nose down in good something to get the success and practice it, based on Alex Garden's says. Then focus, in Noman Jewison's view who is think all with focusing on one thing. David Gallo. The next, Push the self, particularly physically and mentally, also pass the shyness and self-doubt. Then, Sherwin Nuland talked that the another way which can serve others something of value. The Ideas come from creativity skills according to Bill Gates's speak. Kraus says that persistence is the total one reason for the success which it gotta persist pass failure.  
  
Source : TED
Hello,  
  
First of all is the passion according to ...  
First of all, according to Freeman Thomas who says that passion can bring people to the success by doing it with love  
  
... success must do with hard workHARDWORKING because nothing comes easily.  
  
Thirdly, put the nose down in good something (SOMETHING GOOD ) to get the success ...  
  
The next, Push the self, particularly physically and mentallyin physical and mental , also pass ...  
  
You have to consistent in using tenses, since this talk i'm sure running altogether, but your tenses sometimes 'present simple' and 'past tense'. Those make readers confuse.  
  
Gluck^^~
Hello! I will give you some opinions about your summary.  
  
(1) ... in the life according to seven years of**or a longitudinal** research and **the results from** 500 interviews **to respondents**.  
  
(2) ~~First of all is~~**To begin with,**~~the passion~~ according to Freeman Thomas ~~who talk about~~**the** passion can bring ...  
  
(3) ... that the success must ~~do with~~**followed by** hard work because ...  
  
(4) Thirdly, put the nose down ...  
***Thirdly, based on Alex Garden, he says that put the nose down is one of good ways to get success***
There are eight ways (...) according to THE seven years  
  
First of all is the passion according to Freeman ...  
FOCUS ON MEANING I THINK THAT YOUR SENTENCE IN THE BEGINNING INAPPROPRIATE  
LET ME REVISE >> first of all, Freeman Thomas talked about passion can leads to the success because do it for love.  
  
Secondly, Rupert Murdoach said that the success must ( must can be shaged have to) do with (...) nothing come~~s~~ easily.  
  
... to get the success and practice it, ~~based on Alex Garden's says~~ Alex Gardens, said.  
  
Then focus, in Noman Jewison's view who is double verb (think and is i suggest delete is) think all with focusing on one the thing.David Gallo. ???  
  
~~The~~ next, Push ~~the~~by self, ~~particularly~~ in particular physically and mentally, ~~also~~ pass the shyness and self-doubtas well .  
  
Kraus ~~says~~ said that persistence is ...
Hello Yurike,  
Here my advice for you  
  
... to Freeman Thomas who talk**s** about passion  
  
Secondly, Rupert Murdoach said that ~~the~~ success must do with hard working because nothing comes easily (**You must understand position noun and adverb, using appropiat words in right place**)  
  
The i deas come from creativity skills ... >>**please attention your capital letters**
Online travel site agency which known as Traveloka has introduced a new program that makes Southeast Asian consumers can book business or executive class seats for local and overseas journey in an aircraft. This system has been released on Traveloka's site, with setting up accessible on its Smartphone application for Android and iOS usages. When looking for the flights, customers are more convenience to book non-economy class seats by making alteration on their flight class from economy to executive at Traveloka's page and the system will independently filter the search. According to Ferry Unardi - office's CEO - stated that this improvement will make consumers easier to personalize their travel plans.  
  
thejakartapost
Hi Muhamad, kindly find a few suggestions for your summary essay.  
  
- Online travel site agency ~~which~~ known as Traveloka  
- consumers ~~can~~ book business or  
- with ~~setting up~~an accessible app - on ~~its~~ Smartphone application for Android and iOS ~~usages~~gadgets .  
- When you're looking for ~~the~~ flights,  
- customers ~~are~~will have more convenience to  
-CEO Ferry Unardi ~~- office's CEO - stated that~~, this improvement will  
- ~~make more~~give consumers  
- ~~easier~~the ease to personalize their travel plans.  
  
There you have it Mauhamad, I hope the above remarks are helpful to your revision and for future writing reference, mind the linking verbs as well the association of the words in your sentences.
Nowadays, certain researchers discover a device in which can recognize age, gender and mood while several experts argue that it raises ethical questions in the society because the device can claim someone as a criminal. Xiaolin Wu, a researcher for McMaster University in Hamilton, disproves the concept that there are a link between face and criminality because he unsure about the methodology about the system although the makers say that the device can achieve an accuracy up to 90 percent. Moreover, Mike Cook, an expert from Falmouth University, says the systems are more subjective about face identification while the others researcher claims that he has already develop an algorithm can distinguish differences between people face in East Asia region with an accuracy reach 75 percent.
Hello Dioba,  
This is my correction for you, feel free to correction me too.  
  
... a device ~~in~~ which can recognize age >> certain researchers discover a device which can recognize age  
  
gender and mood while several experts argue that it raises ... >> your sentence is very long, using coma (,) to separate your sentence, I very confused to understand your sentence if you write like that.  
  
he unsure about the methodology about the system although ... >> please don't use same words closely like ( unsureabout the methodology about )
Needless to say, nanotechnology brings an enormous important role in this present time. Astonishingly, this carries a huge implication in terms of field engineering. Thanks to this advancement technology, the crucial breakthrough contributes in transportation' issue since this tiny unbreakable form helps the engineers to build a novel spacecraft become the strongest one. It is followed in computer industry to create new generation of the novel innovation related to the size. In any case, it will also give revolutionary innovation in electric power.
**Writing Task 1 Table - Secondary School Attendance**  
  
The table depicts about the division of students who attend in four different kinds of junior high school between 2000 and 2009. Overall, the percentages of Specialist Schools and Grammar School decreased in three years (2000, 2005, and 2009). In this case, the Voluntary-controlled Schools became the favorite schools in 2000 but in 2009, it defeated by Community Schools.  
  
In 2000, the proportions of Specialist Schools stood at 12%. It modestly declined by 1% to 11% in 2005 and ended up at 10% in 2009, while the rates of participation in Grammar Schools fell at 12% in 2009 which was sitting at 24% in 2000.  
  
On the other hand, the highest percentages of secondary school attendance were held by Voluntary-controlled Schools (52%). It were favorite schools for students in 2000 but dramatically decreased to 20% in 2009. Community Schools became the lowest proportions of the students who attended (12%) in 2000 but it considerably rose to 58% and overtook Voluntary-controlled Schools in 2009. Most of the pupils attended in that schools in 2009.
Hi Refalda, as this is my first time to write a review on your essay, I would like to WELCOME you to the Essay Forum Family, here, we aim to provide you with the most effective and accurate feedback that will help you enhance your writing project. An objective criticism that will assist you in creating a stronger essay.  
  
Having said that, when writing an analysis, it will do you good if you have the graph or the representation of the analysis, included in your essay as this will be our basis to ensure the accuracy of your analysis.  
  
Moving forward, I would like to suggest a few modification that will strengthen your sentences.  
  
- The table depicts ~~about~~ the division  
- Overall, the percentage~~s~~ of Specialist Schools  
- in three years ~~(~~ , 2000, 2005, and 2009~~)~~, respectively .  
- it was defeated by Community Schools.  
  
There you have it Refalda, this is just the beginning of the modifications and as mentioned, when you can, please attach the diagram or the graph.  
  
I look forward to it.