dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
## Sports - mental vs physical strength (ielts 2)

  
  
Sport has become an issue of board interest to the general public. Many adopt a view that the important factor in sport is physical strength; however, the opponents agrue that mental strength too should be prioritized. The following essay will discuss both of school and give my opinion.  
  
On the one hand, there is no point in denying that physical health is one of the basic backgrounds of players. They seem to spend their young to practice before joining in competition. For example, football players are trained by trainer before a half year before they are competed officially on the stadium. If they do not many exercises to advance their skill or enduring possibility, they will be knocked out by strong opponents. That is a reason we could not reject the important level of physical strength.  
  
On the other hand, the mental strength is so crucial that they do not use smartphone before competing. Because, the may receive threaten mail,or bad comment which make their mood become awful, they can not recover balance on time. The spirit of participants may scale of the successful rate of competition. That is a reason why if kicker brings bad mood to play that competition, they may make the team fail deplorably. Otherwise, competitors are full confident and energy, they will support their team with 100 percent power.  
  
In conclusion, physical health and mental health are factors which support participants to bring victory for team. In my view, authorities should provide suitable budget for athelete to be improve their health.
The essay instructions requires a 4 paragraph comparison discussion with your personal opinion presented. Your approach to the writing did not consider the public reasons for the 2 points of view. These are presented only in a general discussion format, which does not differentiate between the public and your personal opinion. So the format for the response is incorrect. It is important to be clear about how you are creating your opinion, based on the public discussion. So you can try using the following, clearer format next time:  
  
Reason 1:  
Sentence 1: The public believes that...  
Sentence 2: They base this belief on the publicly known explanation that....  
Sentence 3: However, I oppose this point of view.  
Sentence 4: I believe otherwise because....  
Sentence 5: Hence my non-support for this opinion  
  
Reason 2:  
Sentence 1: The other opinion is that...  
Sentence 2: This is based on the reason that...  
Sentence 3: I support this point of view.  
Sentence 4: My support comes from...  
Sentence 5: This is why I believe this opinion is correct.  
  
The approach above is only an example of how you can more clearly represent both discussion points in every reasoning paragraph. You can create variations of the response depending upon how you would want to frame your response. Mine is only a suggested writing approach.
## visitors in the Edinburgh city

  
  
The line graph provide infromation about the percentage of tourists to Scotland who visited Edingurgh attrations.In generall, there were many differences about the years and the travel destinations. Contrary to Castle increased sharphy, there was a slight growth in Festival.  
  
In 1980, the percentage of tourists who visited Castle was nearly 25% and significantly higher than zoo at 15%. About 15 years later, the percentage of Castle went up rapidly and reaches a peak at nearly 45%. In 2010, the rate of tourists dropped to just over 30%. During the first 20 years, there was a moderate fluctuation in the percentage of tourists to the zoo. However, in ten years later, the figure for the zoo then increased rapidly to 20%.  
  
We can see that Festival was the most attractive place in Scotland in 1980 with 30% of tourists choosing. Despite having a good begining, Festival stayed unchanged during the last years and ending at roughtly 25% at the end of the period. Aquarium increased sharply from 1980 to 1985 to reach the highest point at over 35% in 1985. Since then, the percentage of Aquarium slumped dramatically to just under 10% in 2010  
  
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*This is the line graph*
You have several spelling errors in the presentation that show a lack of proof reading for this paper. You failed to properly examine your draft for possible errors that, if corrected would have improved your GRA and LR scores individually for a higher overall score. Information accuracy is important in the Task 1 presentation. That does not refer only to the numbers presented, but the other information provided as well, including the location source for the information.  
  
The comparison presentation is acceptable as it presents the immediate information that the eyes could see. However, there were overlapping years for the information that were not part of your presentation. An overlap is where the lines intersect, indicating an equal count for that period for the information provided. Such analysis presentation would have shown a true comparison presentation that would have helped your individual TA score and could have boosted the final overall score.
This is the first time I write it. Please give me some comment. I'm waiting for it.  
## In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people.

  
***Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?***  
  
In some countries, it is important to have a private house rather than hiring one. In my oppinion, I partly agree with this idea.  
Generally, people always want to possess a home. They constanly have in their mind that latch on home which means significantly: you are financially independent, grow up. Morever, if you own a home is abandon. You can do what you want. You freedomly paint your wall with your favourite colour. Celabrate everything flow your imagination. Other way, when you rent a apartmen, you will have to obey the rule. Some rules make you uncomfortable. You can't sing loud or maybe you can't have pets. Doing everything without host's permission, it's so great!  
  
Another perspective, renting a home which is not waste much expense as you pay for bying a home or building it. But you also have from pretty house onwards big house. In addition, you never worry about any phenomeno destroy your dear house such as natural disaster. Beside, renting a home is flexibility when you work in many places. You are not anxious about market crashing.  
  
To conclusion, Having own house is important for some countries. In my view, i prefer owning a home because when in my home I am I and I don't have to endure something I don't like.
The first thing the examiner will check upon receiving your essay is the word count. The minute that he sees that you wrote less than the minimum 250 word count, as you only wrote 218 words, he will apply an immediate penalty to your work. The penalty, or percentage deduction, will be based on the number of missing words that would have completed the minimum count. What does this mean for your essay? It means that you will be starting off your essay with a non-passing score. After that error is noted, and computed, your TA score will then be considered as the first score required for your actual scoring requirements.  
  
Now, the TA score for this essay will not be in the passing range either. That is because you changed the discussion requirement from an opinion based essay to an extent essay. How did you create this accidental error? Note the error in your response to the discussion questions as provided in the original prompt.  
  
OQ: Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?  
  
You did not provide the expected response to these questions in your thesis presentation. Your response was:  
  
YR: In my oppinion, I partly agree with this idea.  
  
Your conclusion also adds to the prompt deviation as you indicated an additional improper response to the overall discussion requirement:  
  
Conclusion: i prefer owning a home...  
  
As you can see, you did not align your response with the questions provided, thus creating a prompt deviation on your part. You no longer provided a response to the provided questions. Hence, your score will be based on your inability to respond to any part of the task. Since you have 2 failing score considerations immediately upon starting the test, you will not be able to achieve a passing score with your presentation. Overall, you failed to meet the discussion requirements and format for this topic. Nothing can be done to help you achieve a passing score in this case.
@Holt  
Thank u so much.I change my thread that remove "I partly agree with this idea." and insert "this is a positive situation." My conclusion : "To conclusion, Having own house is important for some countries. That absolutely positive situation. In my view, i prefer owning a home because when in my home I am I and I don't have to endure something I don't like.". Is that ok ? And I try to redo my thread aproach to 250 words.
help me check this task 1 eassy very much  
  
## world pineapple exports

  
  
The bar chart shows the quantity of pineapple exports in three different countries in 2009 and 2019 while the pie chart compares declines in the cost of pineapple types in 2019 only.  
  
Overview, the amount of fruit exports is different in each country and the greatest increasing one was of country A, opposing to a steady decrease of B one. Among seven factors, distribution and retail was the biggest one, followed by profit and taxes.  
  
In detail, in 2009, the production of country A was over 1 metric million tonnes (MMT), being one-third of that of country B and much more than that in country C in the same year. In the next decade, country A increased sharply its quantity to over 10 times, being twice as many as it in country B whilst country C just rose slightly, reaching about 0.5 MMT in a similar period.  
  
Turning to the pie chart, the proportions of breakdown reasons were significant. The largest one, 35%, belonged to distribution and retail factor while the second-highest percentage of taxes was only 18%, being a half compared to the first one. The two lowest proportions were of export costs and producer, being 4% and 5% respectively.  
  
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Avoid using long sentences in your presentations that require 2 different sets of information. In the first paragraph, you are to summarize the content of 2 identified images. Separate the information so that it will be easier for your reader to remember that there are 2 sets of information to be presented, based on 2 different information sources. Do not start the trending statement with "Overview", rather, you may indicate references such as overall, significant trend, measured regular increases / decreases, to name a few. There should be 2 clear trending sentences in this presentation. One for each image, or a combined presentation if the result is significant as a singular measurement.  
  
While you wrote more than the required number of words, you will not be scored higher due to the significant problems with your grammar range and accuracy. You have shown two instances of run-on sentence writing, a lack of coherence and cohesiveness in your data presentation, and a failure to properly compare the relationship between the two images.
## the proportion of students pursuing different degree programs

  
  
**Topic: The chart below show changes in student enrolment by degree at a university in Canada in 1980 and 2000.  
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.**  
  
The pie charts illustrates the percentage of students pursuing specific types of degree at a university in Canada in 1980 and 2000.  
  
Overall, it is clear that most students were studying for a bachelor degree in1980 and 2000. Also, the percentage of students enrolled in other 3 degree programs increased during 20 years period.  
  
To specify, the proportion of bachelor's degree students, which accounted two thirds of the total in 1980, plummeted sharply to 42% in 2000. Even though the share of bachelor degree students decreased, it still remained the category with the highest percentage of student enrolment. However, the proportion of students who pursued associate and doctoral degrees occupied at 13% and 2% in 1980, went up to only 5% and 3% in 2000, respectively.  
  
Similarly, in 1980, the percentage of master's degree students made up at 9%, before sharply surged to 35% in 2000.  
  
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You have to identify the number of images that are being used in the report. That helps the reader to anticipate how much information for comparison purposes will be presented. Additionally, you should be more accurate in your information presentation. A summary of the courses offered would have also helped present a listing of what information would be analyzed in the later paragraphs. Good work on using connecting adverbs. That will definitely be noticed and will help give you a better GRA score.  
  
The last sentence at the end should be included as a part of the previous paragraph. This is not a 4 paragraph report. It could easily be completed within 3 paragraphs. As a stand alone sentence, the presentation does not help add clarity or analysis to the presentation. However, when added to the previous paragraph at the end, it has a better sense of importance and adds clarity to the overall paragraph presentation.
## working or studying remotely

  
  
Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.  
  
Although not new in modern life, networking has attracted more and more public attention, especially with the advent of online social networking channels. Debatable as it is, the positive aspect of technology use as a way to work and study is somewhat superior to its downside.  
  
Given the fact that technology has become more economical and available, it is easier for adults and children to work and study from home. For education, the ministry of education started to intergrate technology into classroom learning since there was a number of students incapable of going to school. Moreover, with online class, teachers can adjust or tailor teaching style easily as they can correct it on their lessons. It is easily for students to keep up with the syllabus because they can both listen and search for information during the class. Adults who work from home can keep up with the workload and may have the frequency of long working hours. Without difficulties, online workers would work extra hours and may have a good performace appraisals.  
  
On the other side, of the commonly-heard problems, the most serious of them is the fear that the students may absent from online classes without permission. Workers are likely to rely on the colossal of time they have to submit their work. Studying and working from home can keep both students and workers away from interactive learning, results in the lack of practical skills.  
  
All in all, the negative of using technology instead of going to school or workplace appear to be overtaken by the positives. Even conservative people, find it hard to reject the power of technology, as it may help our work easier to be done.
When writing these essays, you should first outline the discussion topics and discussion consideration. That will help you better understand the type of response to use for this essay. In this case:  
  
Discussion Topics:  
1. many adults are working from home  
2. more children are beginning to study from  
  
Reason: technology has become cheaper and more accessible.  
  
Guide Question: Do you think this is a positive or negative development?  
  
After having outlined the important aspects in a manner similar to what I used, you can see that there are 2 opinion paragraphs to be presented. However, these are presented first in the restatement as the last 3 sentences representing:  
  
- Personal opinion regarding the given topic based on the reason provided (thesis statement)  
- One subject reason for each discussion topic ( adults working from home (1 topic), students studying from home (1 topic).  
  
Then the reasoning paragraphs will have 2 reasoning presentations based on each representative topic (adult WFH and children SFH). These discussion paragraphs should have a singular focus of defending your positive opinion. This is not a comparative discussion. Your current presentation uses "networking" as a reference, which is incorrect since the technology in use is "video conferencing". Social media channels are not used for wfh and sfh, only call video and call conferencing systems.  
  
Your explanations are not properly represented. You only focused on explaining the part that pertains to you, which you understand, SFH. Your WFH explanation is really insufficient. Your essay will be judged to be under developed even though you wrote a high number of words. The explanations and opinions are not fully applicable to the requirements as I outlined above.
I'm writting introduction for some essay. I will send it here. Please help me check my grammar and my content. Thanks a lot  
  
1.Topic 1:  
***Nowadays, not enough students choose science subjects in university in many countries.***  
## What are the reasons for this problem? What are the effects on society?

  
  
INTRODUCTION:  
Today, when students participate in university courses they do not tend to select science subject. This is a popular problem with many countries in the world. It is caused by several reason and also influence on society.
**One topic per thread**  
  
There are direct questions being asked in the topic. What is the reason? What is the effect? These are your discussion outline requirements. You have to present these as single sentence explanations in the restatement that you wrote. After restating the topic, you can state the reasons and effects. Make sure to choose 2 related reasons and 2 related effects so that the discussion paragraphs will be easily written on your part and clear to the reader. It is important to accomplish all of the task requirements in the opening paragraph because the TA score will depend heavily on how well you represent your English comprehension skills in that section.
## IELTS WRITING TASK 1: MULTIPLE CHARTS

  
  
**The charts show world pineapple exports by the top three pineapple-producing countries in 2009 and 2019, and a breakdown of the cost to the consumer of each pineapple in 2019.  
  
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.  
  
You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.**  
  
The bar chart compares and contrasts data on the changes in the number of pineapples exported by three different countries. Otherwise, the pie chart provides statistical data on the breakdown of the cost of each pineapple consumed in 2019.  
  
As can be seen from the first graph, the pineapple exports of country A and country C experienced an upward trend. Conversely, those of country B witnessed a downward trend. The accompanying graph exhibits that the proportion of distribution and retail accounted for a lion's share of the cost of each pineapple.  
  
In 2009, country A's figure for pineapple exports was roughly 1 million before it experienced a surge to over 10 million in 2019. That of the country C also experienced an increase but it was negligible. In contrast, after producing nearly 5 million pineapples for exporting in 2009, country B's figure underwent a twofold decrease, staying at under 2 million in 2019.  
  
The proportion of distribution and retail and that of taxes, which was 35% and 16% respectively, together accounted for more than half of the total cost of each consumed pineapple. The two lowest figure was recorded for producer (5%) and export costs (4%). The remaining categories consisted of relatively identical statistics, ranging from 12% to 18%.  
  
Note: Thank you very much for helping me.  
  
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Incorrect vocabulary was used in the summary overview. The word "Otherwise" cannot be used in this presentation because you are not presenting an opposing data report. Rather, you are presenting a supporting breakdown of the information. Based on definition, the word "otherwise" signifies:  
  
Otherwise - In other respects  
  
Since you are not referring to an alternative representation but rather, an additional presentation, the proper word for use in reference to that would have been "additionally" since you are referring to extra information from another source:  
  
Additionally - more or supplementary  
  
The information from the pie chart was supplementary information presentation not alternative information presentation.
***Some people say that the main environmental problem off our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems.***  
  
## Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

  
Write about 250 words.  
  
Writing  
One of the most fundamental issues that many people in society have concerned about nowadays that the major environmental problem is the death of specific species of plants and animals. However, some other people have claimed that there are more vital those. As far as I'm concerned , I utterly advocate with having more crucial environmental matters.  
  
On the one hand, those who are in favor of protecting plants and animals must have some reasons as well as evidences to prove their stand. First of all, one of their strong points in this case is if more and more plants and animals die, natural world will be imbalance. Secondly, another point to help the convincing levels of the statement is they play a significant role in supplying human's needs such as researches, medicines,... For instance, the extinction of one-horned rhinoceros noticeably reduced a variety of rhino species.  
  
On the other hand, there are still people who don't quite sponsor the support of plants and animals and they are also able to flash through their mind to justify their opinion. Firstly, they have insisted that if we just concern about the existence of plants and animals and neglect others, it will lead to unpredictable consequences. Particularly, we all see that other environmental matters such as melting ice, effect of green house, the holes of ozone layer,... are absolutely serious. Secondly, they hypothesized that every environmental problem affects the mankind's existence and decides to the development of humanity.  
  
In conclusion, as clearly expressed both sides of the arguments prove to have all their arguments justified. Therefore, it is quite hard for anyone to choose their stand. Hence, I personally support the idea saying that there are more vital environmental issues since every problem is indispensable part of our lives and the world.