dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
**Parents are the best teachers. Do you agree or disagree?**  
  
I agree that there are no teachers better than parents. It is because they know children clearly, receive respects from their following generation as well as love children very much.  
  
First of all, it is definitely undeniable that parents are the most wonderful to understand children. On the whole, they are possible to observe how children become on the grounds that they are beside their sons or their daughters. As a result, they can recognize the talents, the hobbies anh the characters of their children; therefore, it is not too difficult for them to instruct the children in suitable directions.  
  
Another outstanding point is that most of the children are absolutely convinced that the upbringing from their parents is the best. For instance, should a mother order her son to admit cheating in his examination, he will not disobey. That is the reason why the parents are able to teach the children to behave properly. Nevertheless, the parent's teaching is ideal in modern society even though it is not good for children's talents in many situations.  
  
Last but not least, no sooner had a child been born than he was given the utterly enormous love of his previous generation. Furthermore, the father together with the mother dedicate their life to educating their children because the offsprings play a fundamental role in their life, which results in that they become educators who are completely amazing.  
  
In conclusion, I am certain that the parents act an essential part in education of their offsprings. It is extremely doubtless that they are the most perfect teachers.
Overall, try explaining your ideas more instead of moving from one idea to the next using a lot of cause and effect. Watch your overuse of transition words.  
  
Furthermore, ~~the father together with the mother~~ dedicate their life to educating their children because ~~the offsprings play a fundamental role in their life~~ , which results in that they ...  
  
Try: Furthermore, fathers and mothers dedicate their lives to the educating of their children because of the fundamental role their children play in their life.  
  
~~It is extremely doubtless that they are ...~~  
Try: It is extremely doubtful that there are more perfect teachers than parents.
Hi i have some feedback for you  
  
>>> Introduction ( it is better to paraphrase the question in the background and write your thesis statement)  
>>>conclusion ( if you do not have much time to give suggestion then it is better to paraphrase introduction)  
>>>subject + verb agreement  
  
~~Last but not least~~lastly , no sooner had a child ...  
Furthermore, ~~the~~ father ~~together with the~~and mother dedicate their life to educate~~ing~~ their children because the offspringplay~~s~~s a fundamental role in ...(giving an example about this explanation}  
  
In conclusion, I am certainly agree that the parents act an essential part ~~in~~of education of their offsprings.
**In some countries it is now illegal to smoke in public places. It is only fair that people who wish to smoke should have to leave the building. Do you agree or disagree?**  
  
Many countries have regulation to not allow their citizens to smoke in public area and if they want to smoke, they have to leave the main building. I would agree with such an idea because people not smoking can be hampered from inhaling the dangerous smoke and to decrease a number of smokers in their areas.  
  
Generally, people believed that breathing the smoke from smokers is being others person who do not smoking desperately. It is believed that human have to breathe the fresh air to make their respiratory system works normally. Research from Medical Department University of Melbourne found that human have to get 78% oxygen from the air to make their breathing system healthier. As a result, when people cannot keep their healthy because of smoke from cigarette, it makes them in a bad situation.  
  
Moreover, illegally smoking in public areas can reduce a number of smokers in some cities. It is generally believed that when they do not get more space for smoking, it makes them try to stop their bad habits. And also they do not want pay much to government caused by breaking the rule, so they tend to follow the regulation and stop to smoke. For instance in 2008, India government introduced the regulation about illegal activities to smoke in public areas and it is effective to reduce a number of smokers in their countries, which shows 65%. It gives us an example that making limitation areas for smoker can be affect for quantities of them.  
  
In conclusion, regulations for smokers in many countries have an important rule to reduce a number of smokers in their areas. And also it is the other ways to save passive smokers healthy from the dangerous smoke that smokers brought.
Hello  
  
I applied some adjustments to your text so that it sounds better. They are as follows:  
  
Many countries [...] *have regulations that forbid people to smoke in public places.*  
I ~~would agree~~ [...] *think this indeed does make much sense, because of the well-established negative effects of second-hand smoking.*  
Generally [...] it's really hard to tell what you're trying to say in this sentence.  
It is believed [...] *that people should try to inhale clean air so that their respiratory system functions normally.*  
*has* found [...]*that 78% of oxygen comes into one's lungs through breathing*I'm not sure if you want to keep this sentence - no need to conduct research only to find out that people need to breathe...  
  
~~As a result~~ [...] *Smoking cigarettes complicates the situation rather substantially.*  
Moreover [...]*the criminalization of smoking in public places...*  
it ~~makes~~*causes**them to consider quitting.*  
introduced the regulation [...] *that bans smoking and it did prove very effective - the number of people who smoke in public places has been reduced by 65%.*  
  
It gives us [...]this sentences is redundant and it doesn't make much sense.  
rule [...] *role* (?)  
  
I hope this will help. Regards.
**Question:  
In some countries it is illegal to smoke in public places, it is only fair that people who wish to smoke have to leave the building. Do you agree or disagree?  
  
Answer:**  
  
Some countries introduce a rule banning smoking in the public places and those willing to have some smokes should leave the related spot. This essay would completely agree with this statement because this policy would create a clean environment and people are hindered from being contaminated with the dangerous smoke released by burned cigarette.  
  
It is generally believed that government authority has aim to prohibit smokers to burn cigarette in public zones to get fresh air in these circumstances. The reason for this policy is smoking activities will produce smoke everywhere and will pollute air surrounding the public areas which many people always pass this common zone. For example, in 2005, a recent study carried out by Dubai government found that air condition around public places were polluted around 56% in Airport and 78% in convention hall. It is true that this regulation brings positive impact to make inhabitants respire with fresh air.  
  
On the other hand, this policy will also halt citizens who are passive smoking from contaminated by smokers in public places. The reason for this is that will lessen the number of diseases which is infected by smokers to citizens. For instance, a recent survey, carried out by the Japan public health, showed in 2010 about 68% patients breast cancer decreased to 45% since the government issued rule to not allow smokers burn cigarette in public place. It is needless to say that this regulation will increase life expectancy for passive smokers.  
  
To sum up, it is gone without seeing that people who want to burn cigarette have to find smoking areas based on the government regulation because this rule will make a clean circumstance and give benefit for passive smokers. I totally support that the government has to give punishment to smokers who are not following this authority.
Eve, I will refrain from giving you a score for this essay because I want to give you a chance to rewrite the paper. It is apparent that you misunderstood the prompt requirement from the very start of your essay. What you turned in was a paper that supported the ban on public smoking. You actually defended that stand quite well and you should have scored very well if that was the required answer by the prompt, which it wasn't.  
  
The actual discussion that the prompt wished to have you provide is "...it is only fair that people who wish to smoke have to leave the building. Do you agree or disagree?" Instead of taking a stand that either supports or opposes the statement, you started talking about government regulation, rules, and other non-related information. While the facts you presented were good, there was nothing in the essay to indicate that you understood the prompt properly. You failed to discuss the prompt and present a proper conclusion in the essay. So in the end, the score for this essay would not have been beneficial to your chances of studying overseas.
hello eve,,  
let me give some correction for your writing..  
  
1.government authority has ~~aim~~*(the aim)* to prohibit smokers ...  
2.**Dubai government found that air condition around public places**~~were~~**(was)** polluted around  
3. ... smoke everywhere and ~~will~~ pollute air surrounding ...  
4. ... around 56% in Airport and 78% in *( put the or a because this is noun "the convention")*convention hall  
5. For instance, a recent survey~~,~~*( do not put comas)* carried out by the Japan  
  
may my corrections are use ful for your writing ..  
thank you..
***The world of work is changing rapidly. Working conditions today are not the same as before and people no longer rely on taking one job for life. Discuss the possible causes for these changes and give your suggestion on how people should prepare for work in the future?***  
  
It is no doubt that the working environment is changing recently and people are not taking one profession anymore. Obviously, the increase of living cost is one of main reason of this trend and saving money and changing the lifestyle are some options to prepare for people to tackle this issue in the upcoming day.  
  
One reason why people are prone to have more than one job is that the amount of money spent by them in every month escalates which is not only as the impact of the living cost that is getting expensive but also the life necessities that is increasing while their salary is not enough to pay all of that continuously. The increase of living cost is covering the price of groceries, the cost of raw material for building, and the cost to rent apartment while the rise of life necessities is including the changing of lifestyle as people tend to hang out with their friends or colleagues outside, the needs of handling advanced technology such as mobile phone or computer, and the cost of transportation. All of those things forces people to have much more money by taking more than one profession so that they can finance their life.  
  
However, people have several options can be taken to tackle this issue in the future. It is very obvious that people can prepare to the upcoming day not only by reducing the money spending and saving some but also by changing their lifestyle as it is very impossible for them to have more than one job for their entire life. As a current survey conducted by California University shows that the average of productive age for people to work is only until 53 years old. Therefore, people should not work in many places anymore even though their salary is barely. Besides, in my experience, the other thing people can do to handle this problem is to reduce the using of technology or transportation if they cannot afford it. This option can be taken as people do not always need to follow the recent trend.  
  
To sum up, the options can be taken to tackle this issue is by saving money and changing the lifestyle as the changing of working environment forced people to have more than one profession is caused by their increasing outcome while their salary from one job is not getting bigger.
Alrisky, you can get a band score of six for this essay. It shows your potential for analytical thinking and your ability to discuss, somewhat coherently, in written form. Although there are problems with your sentence structure and grammar, these did not lessen the information that your paper provided. Congratulations on having the foresight to include verifiable information in your essay. Presenting such data helps to increase your score because this shows that you are trying to heighten your writing method and display an increased English comprehension skill. I am looking forward to reading your next task writing. You have shown improvement and I am convinced that you are doing your best to further increase your English writing skills.
***In some countries it is now illegal to smoke in public places. It is only fair that people who wish to smoke should have to leave the building. Do you agree or disagree?***  
  
A regulation to smoke out of public areas has been applied in some countries. I am a firm believer through this statement because this kind of activity causes unhealthy surroundings and accustoms a good attitude for smokers as well.  
  
It is often said that this irritating habit is prone to create unhealthy air. The reason for this is because cigarette bears many bad chemicals that it does pollute the environment. Besides, it also harms people who inhale its smoke. Medical officials' records say that there are many citizens suffer serious disease due to become passive smokers. Thus, it is a good trend not to let smokers inhale cigarette in buildings.  
  
Moreover, pulling on cigarette out of public spaces is sensible way to meet the right between the smokers and people who do not. It leads smokers to have a big respect toward other people who do not smoke and vice versa, creating the harmony between them. Besides, while this policy would lessen the number of passive smokers, it also directs the smokers to leave this habit gradually as the place where they can smoke restricted. In some supermarkets, for example, it is now rarely found people who argue each other because of cigarette's smoke as smokers has special place to enjoy their cigarettes.  
  
To conclude, besides to maintain fresh air in enclosed places, this regulation must be an effective way to create good habit for smokers to respect people who do not smoke. Moreover, through this policy, there will be a reducing number of passive smokers as an additional benefit.
Hi Husnul, I believe that you would get a score band of 6 for this work of yours. There is a clear understanding of the prompt and you were able to present your opinion based upon factual supporting data. As such, you have proven that although your grammar may be wrong in some points, you have the ability to coherently discuss an issue. More importantly, your discussion, flawed grammar and all, is sure to be understood by the person you are or will be conversing with. A word of advice though, keep in mind that the paragraphs need to be composed of at least 3 well developed sentences at all times. While I did not deduct points for that error in your writing for this practice test, it will have an adverse effect on your score in the actual test.
**Global warming is one of the biggest threats humans face in the 21st Century and sea levels are continuing to rise at alarming rates. What problems are associated with this and what are some possible solutions?**  
  
Nowadays, sea level increases at alarming rate due to the climate change. This will lead to the inundation of some area around the sea and constructing dam is a viable solution to take.  
  
The most problem caused by the rise of sea level is flood in area around the sea. This happens is the ground is lower than sea surface. Such catastrophe makes the societies have to be evacuated for shelter. Beside, epidemic diseases like diarrhea spread owing to the lack of sanitation and clean water. For instance, when tsunami of Aceh happened, many people feel misery making them to displace to the place has been provided by government.  
  
One solution which can be taken to overcome the problem is the building of sea barrier in the shoreline. This obviously would hold the flow of water into the land. Besides, such breakthrough can be utilized to generate electricity, boosting economic activities. One of great example of this is The Netherlands is a low-lying land or low land under sea level. Approximately 21% of the population of the Netherlands is under sea level and 70% of Dutch primary economic activity is also under the sea surface. This condition is realized by Netherland to make polder system which is include levees, pumps, drains, retention ponds, land landscape settings, and installation of dirty water separate. It makes free of threat flooding for the societies living around the sea.  
  
In conclusion, the rising sea level caused by climate change is one of the problems we face and at last it will bring out flooding hurt many people around the sea. As we can see in Netherland that this condition can be solve by making dam.
**Question :  
  
Some parents think that childcare centres provide the best services for children of pre-school age. Other working parents think that family members such as grandparents will be better carers for their kids. Discuss both views and give your opinion.**  
  
Childcare centers become the option for some parents to serve their child. However, others tend to choose their parents to watch their children. It has a advantage and disadvantage for the parents. The parents must to earn much money in the childcare centers to take care the children and they do not be bothered their parents like grandmother in their old age.  
  
Some parents have spent their money to prepare their children in the child care centers. It means that they believe childcare centers to keep their children for getting better service. It is because they have work for receiving money and cannot handle their children at home. For instance, based on survey in 2009 by Australia Childcare Commission about the provision of childcare state 65% of working parents deciding to pay more money in the childcare centers for giving the education before their get to school. I believed this situation will make the parents not worry about the children.  
  
On the other hand, their grandparents can use their old age with relaxed. It means the parent have responsibility for their children and not hassle their grandparents. The reason is the parents should get more time to take a rest. For instance, survey by University of Kent state the 75% grandparents is feel comfortable for spent their time with activity that make them enjoyable. It is acceptable that parents better earn much money to childcare centers rather than disturbing their grandparents.  
  
All in all, the most effective way from the parents is give the childeren in childcare centers. Besides, the condition can be useful for their grandparents to using their old age time effectively.
Hi dikha i have feedback for your writing  
>>subject + verb agreement  
>>read about how to put pronoun such as them, their, themselves etc...  
  
... parents to watch their children while they are working . It has an advantage and disadvantage for ~~the parents~~them . ~~The~~ parents must ~~to~~ earn much money to pay~~in the~~ childcare centers ~~to take care~~ for caring ~~the~~their children and they do not ~~be~~ bother~~ed~~ their parents like grandmother in the~~ir~~ older age.  
  
... most effective way ~~from the~~ that can be taken by working parents ~~is~~are~~give~~taking a caring service~~the~~for~~childeren~~children in childcare centers. Besides, the condition can be useful for their grandparents ... ( give your own suggestion broo)  
  
keep writing broo (^,^)
**Do you agree that money is the only motivation at work why people prefer working in the some company for many years?**  
  
Many employees have to work in one place for a long time because of money. While it is true to some extent, I also claim that good cooperation in one company is another factor which should be taken into account.  
  
It is true that money is one of reasons making some employees motivated to work in one place. Staying in one place for long time would influence their career because they would easily to get promotion and they would receive a high salary from companies. For example, there is my neighbor deciding to work in one company for many years because he thinks that if working in long period, company will give him higher salary. Thus, most people work in one place for long because of money.  
  
On the other hand, money is not the only one which can make several employee motivated because in work place not only need money but also they require cooperation with other co-worker. Solid Partnership can make work more efficient and productive. Besides, they would be helped by cooperation if employee has problem in work. Those can lighten some employee's work by cooperation. As result they would feel motivated in doing their work.  
  
To conclude, many people cannot be undeniable that money is one motivation to do work but it does not meant that money the only one can become spirit factor in their work because there are another factor which make employee motivated to work is good cooperation.
Radjah, I do believe that your scoring for this essay would start somewhere at the band of 6. You have managed to develop the essay in a proper manner although your introduction and concluding paragraphs were shorter than the required number of sentences. You were able to present sufficient supporting evidence that shows a clear understanding of the prompt. Your word usage shows an intermediate level of English grammar knowledge which led to understandable paragraphs even though the language was not as grammatically correct as it should be. Your essay would have been helped tremendously if you had managed to not only add information in the introduction, but also made it clear you agreed with the prompt statement. Rather than saying that "I also claim...", you should have instead started with "I agree with the given statement and would like to add that..." Remember, when you are asked for an opinion, it should be clearly stated in the introduction and given supporting evidence within the next paragraphs.
hi raja i have feedback for your essay  
>> subject + verb agreement  
>> modal cannot meet to or noun (modal + verb1)  
  
It is true that money is one of reason~~s~~(**one** is singular must meet singular noun)why~~making~~ some employees have motivate~~d~~ to work in one place. Staying in one work place for longtime would affect~~influence~~(**influence** is noun cannot meet modal) their career because they would easily ~~to~~ get promotion .....Thus, most people work in one placefor long because of money (give your own opinion :) not repetition others statements  
  
keep writing broooo (^,^)