dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
## chasing the dream to live life to its fullest

  
  
There has long been a debate about whether to pursue the dream or not. While some people choose to live a stable life, I would highly recommend everyone should set heart on chasing his or her goals because of the following reasons.  
  
One of the biggest obstacles for pursuing the dream is that they believe it will not work. Before people try, they have already thought that the odds are against them so much that they might as well not start. But rather than never trying at all, I would suggest that people should chase their dreams no matter what the result will be. Life is not about the destination but the journey. It means that when people have a strong desire for their dreams, they will have enough determination, make enough effort to achieve them. It would be so excellent if they come true. Otherwise, the choice to pursue them is worthwhile because, along the dream-chasing process, people have learned new skills, gained a great deal of valuable experience, and enjoyed a sense of satisfaction. However, when they never try, they would regret what might have happened if they chose to chase their dreams.  
  
Moreover, when people go to great lengths to chase their dreams, they are likely to create their own mark, which differentiates you from the others in a world full of over seven billion people. Admittedly, you can choose to stay in a safe zone, to get a well-paid job, and have their family. It is a suitable option for those who want a stable life. But what about getting out of the comfort zone? Without effort, you cannot discover the hidden strengths and your potential. Lead an ordinary life and you will never know to what extent you can do. Besides, your life might be a typical stereotype as many people are chasing. Accordingly, you cannot see what makes you special. Furthermore, to pursue your dream, we can ignore other factors but family because it is the place where we seek support and advice to be brave and strong. And the fact that family members do not back up you is a sadness although it is a normal case in daily life. However, once you choose to live uniquely, you have to come to terms with every other opinion, even family. You have to rely on nobody but yourself to go on to achieve your dream.  
  
To sum up, I would support everyone to chase the dream to live life to its fullest. Be brave, be confident, believe in yourself, and you will be successful in the way of finding your true value
A task 2 essay has a 40 minute time requirement for the writing, correcting, and editing of the final essay version. The most likely word count you can complete is between 275-290 words. You wrote 438 words with several uncorrected errors in the final presentation. You are over discussing in the reasoning paragraphs and under presenting in the paraphrase and concluding sections. Aim to write a maximum of 5 sentences per paragraph. That way you clearly develop your reasoning pattern or discussion presentation. Any writing over that number creates an overly discussed, but error filled essay. Avoid presenting questions anywhere in your discussion paragraphs. Rhetorical questions do not have any place in these discussions. It tends to change your discussion target, causing you to stray from the original prompt.
Q:  
## Spoken communication is more powerful than written communication. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

  
A:  
Some people argue that spoken communication has more influence than written communication in terms of delivering information. In my opinion, I agree with this standpoint.  
  
There are many advantages when applying spoken communication. Since speaking does not require any material to be performed, the speaker could deliver his or her ideas immediately and directly to a listener. For example, during an emergency operation, the main surgeon must transmit his solution for the case by talking to others in his team, not by writing, so that they could know how to manage this urgent circumstance synchronically. Besides that, by speaking face-to-face, the speaker not only delivers information but also includes the speaker's emotion appearing on his or her face and through body language. Therefore, a speech would be more inspirational and would touch the heart of the audience. In every election campaign, the presidential candidate always has a motivational speech among a crow in order to persuade them to vote for him or her.  
  
In addition, written communication has many disadvantages. Firstly, in terms of security, if the content could not be well-protected, it would be stolen and leaves the owner in a plight of losing the competition. For instance, if Coca-Cola's secret recipe for making its drink is leaked on the internet, all company's rivals would take advantage of that release to depose Coca-Cola in the sparking drink market. Secondly, written communication requires more writing skills and carefulness to fully express the author's opinion, otherwise, readers could misunderstand. For instance, this sentence "most of the time, travelers sleep in their car" could be totally changed in meaning when missing the comma, which becomes "most of the time travelers sleep in their car".  
  
In conclusion, speaking is a better manner than writing in communication among people.
This is an extent essay. You cannot simply agree with the standpoint. There needs to be a degree of emotional or topical dis/agreement. The more appropriate response would be "I strongly dis/agree to the degree that the discussion (offer a topic sentence or two)" or a variation of such a presentation. Use relevant examples. The surgeon example is an over reach. Keep it simple. Do not try to impress the reviewer too much. He will see right through that and it will not help your score.  
  
Your concluding presentation is too short. It has to be at least 40 words or 3-5 sentences. You should present a summary of the previous discussion points. You should not state an opinion in that section as you are not allowed to develop new ideas in the conclusion. You can only repeat a short version of the information previously presented as a reminder to the reader.
It is the first time, I have used this website, and honestly, English is not my first language. Therefore, I hope might receive reviews from you. Thank you, everyone.  
  
## playing sport has many benefits

  
  
**ESSAY - Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of playing sports. At least 250 words.**  
These days, playing sport has been recognized as a good way to practice the body. However, it still has harm which hard to foresee. This essay will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of sports activities.  
  
It is true that playing sports will bring many health and physical benefits. The first reason is that it helps us avoid a sedentary lifestyle. When having physical activities, the circulation system will be increased much more than normal, thus it makes the heart become stronger. As a result, it can reduce the risk of cardiovascular diseases. Another cause that supporting this development is the weight management issue. By doing exercise or joining sport for burning the excess calories in the body, so it may make a nice body figure through losing weight.  
  
However, practicing sport is still remarkable harms in many aspects. According to research, one of the prominent sport problems is the injury which usually has when people play sport. Moreover, it might be worse if a body part has been long-term damage, thus it will have difficulty in handling daily tasks such as take a shower or clearing personal. Besides, some sports have required financial ability from players. For example, tennis and golf which not only required playing places but also need expensive things to support these activities such as coaching, equipment, or club fee.  
  
In conclusion, besides, it can not deny that playing sport has many benefits for the body but it also has several harms which can not mention.
1. ... in the body, **so** it may make ...  
  
i think you need to remove the bold word. and the sentence should be better be "By doing exercises, excessive body calories will be burned and creates an ideal body shape as body weight is decreasing".  
  
2. in paragraph 3, are you sure that there is a research that stated the data? did you really read it? if yes. then that's ok. but if you don't really know where and who conduct the research, it is better to not include it (unless you mention whose research is that, and who conducted it).
Whoops ! You have to write a minimum of 250 words. You wrote only 249 words. That means the essay will automatically be scored less, just because you missed out on one word. There will still be a highly minimal percentage deduction for that in the task 2 essay. Make sure you write around 20 lines every time. That number of lines will normally allow you to meet the word count on an exact or more word count basis.  
  
Your prompt paraphrase is not really accurate. You changed the discussion point from advantage v disadvantage to "a good way to practice the body" along with "harm which is hard to foresee". These are both inaccurate representations of the original presentation which should have been:  
  
*There are both benefits and drawbacks to athletic engagement. Some of the advantages include... While the disadvantages could be...*  
  
You have to completely change the original prompt, never use any words from the original to avoid mark downs for memorized or cut and paste words. Outline the discussion points to help you meet the 3-5 sentence requirement per paragraph. Your paraphrase and conclusion are too short. You need to write at least 40 words in those sections. The concluding paragraph needs to be presented in a summary wrap up format.
TOPIC:  
## Some people think that family is the most important influence on young adults.

  
***Other people think that friends are the most important influence on young adults. Which view do you agree with? Use example to support your opinion***  
  
These days, youngsters are susceptible to be had an impact on many factors. While many people believe that they are impacted the most by friends, Some support family is far more influential on their children than friends. From my perspective, I agree later.  
  
It is clear that family life is the closest place that youngsters have had since they were born. They have more chances to meet their older people in their family including their grandparents, parents, sisters, and brothers having many different character traits. Therefore, the elderly would teach youngers how to do whatever they know when all members of the family do some jobs together. For example, When young adults do household chores with their parents, they will be taught how to clean the house, cook, iron facilitating parents to influence their children on cleaning which friends could not share.  
  
Secondly, Young adults tend to respect and trust their family members more than friends they have met. This acts as a precursor for young people to listen and follow their family. For instance, when they have a mental or physical disorder, they tend to tell and ask bits of advice from their parents who have a lot of experience to offer.  
  
In conclusion, I strongly believe that members of the family are the most significant impact on children owing to the frequent meeting chance and respect in the elderly.
The essay you wrote does not meet the 250 minimum word requirement. 231 words is still substantially far enough from the 250 minimum count, causing you to still have a large word percentage score deduction. That is a deduction that will be applied even before the other 4 scoring sections are considered. You will definitely suffer a lower GRA and LR score because you are using English words in the wrong manner. There is no such phrase as; "I agree later." I believe you meant to say, "I agree with the latter." It is important that you do not use words and phrases you are not familiar with because these types of errors will always affect 2 scoring sections in the rubic. Be very careful with your sentence structure and vocabulary usage. Those are the sections where students get the most deductions during the test.
## IELTS Writing Task 2 - Sharing information

  
  
*Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both views and give your opinion.*  
  
Information has been a key issue nowadays due to its power. The one who keeps in hand the largest amount is eventually considered to be the most powerful. This leads to a debatable question: whether we should spread freely all the information or keep it in private for the sake of peace and power. In this essay, I will try my best to give a general view of both sides.  
  
These days, people are claiming that sharing information creates educational communities. Living anywhere, global citizens can learn from others and can give away what they know. Balancing the world of information, this stimulates creativity and competitiveness, especially among the youths. Young people will then create new ideas, keeping up and enhancing the innovation. This, undoubtedly, leads to a better world. After all, everyone deserves to be aware of what is going on around them. Huge impact can come from the smallest pack of data.  
  
On the other hand, spreading information freely can lead to potential danger. Indeed, those who have anti - ethical purposes can also learn the information and utilize it to fulfil their own aim. For example, terrorists are the ones we should keep an eye on as the threats they make may result in great loss, which we have already witnessed from the past. Thus, this explains partly why there are opinions stating that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. The less information can reach those who have such intention, the safer, they believe, the world is.  
  
To conclude, debatable as it seems, the question can not be answered in the exact right way. However, in my opinion, I would take the side and say that information should be shared freely. I believe in the rapid progress humanity will make if this move is set, and dangers can slowly be pushed away.  
  
P/S: Thank you for spending time reviewing my essay. May I ask, how can I reduce the amount of words in this essay? It actually exceeded way too much and seems to be wordy. I want to know how I can write shortly but still effective. Thank you!
The first thing you have to do is avoid making assumptions that do not exist in the original presentation. That means, your first sentence, which is an assumption, should not be included in the presentation. You should also avoid rhetorical questions in the discussion because that can sometimes be seen as a memorized or cut and paste presentation. For the reasoning paragraphs. Stop using word fillers at the start. Use topic sentences to clearly direct the discussion. Provided you can write 3-5 coherent sentences in each reasoning paragraph, you will be able to write an essay within the 275-290 word count.  
  
In this essay you overwrote because of your focus on the public discussion presentation. You forgot to balance it with a personal opinion as indicated. So you should not have over written if you wrote the right number of reasoning paragraphs - 3. The personal opinion cannot be contained in the conclusion. That needs to be a stand alone paragraph because it requires a fully justified and developed reasoning presentation.
(Note: i'm practising writing the introduction first so this paragraph just have the introduction)  
  
## problems of our planet

  
  
These days , our planet is facing with many problems such as global-warming or the disappearance of the ozone layer. Some people argued that the best way to help our planet avoid unwanted result is alter our lifestyle. In my opinion, i completely agree with this idea and in this essay I'll support my opinion with examples.  
  
(i want to say thanks you all for helping me in advance)
1. ... facing **with** many problems  
you need to remove the word in bold  
  
2. our planet **\*to\***avoid  
you need to add the word "to"  
  
3. result is ...  
should be "result is by altering our lifestyles"  
  
4. and in this essay I'll support my ...  
i think you do not need to put the sentence. it would be better for you to state some reasons of why do you agree with the statement.
When writing the paraphrase, you should avoid adding information not contained int he original presentation because that changes the slant of the discussion. You are required to represent the original essay without added or removed information. So your addition of information in the first sentence is a point against your paraphrased presentation. When you say that you completely agree with the idea, the next statement should include the reason you agree with the idea. Use at least 2 topic representations to end the paraphrase. That way you accomplish the following:  
  
- Accurate prompt restatement  
- Your response to the opinion instruction  
- An outline of the discussion topics that will add clarity to your opinion  
  
When you accomplish these 3 tasks, you will get a decent TA score.
## **Some people claim that not enough of the waste from homes is recycled.**

  
*They say that the only way to increase recycling is for governments to make it a legal requirement.  
  
To what extent do you think laws are needed to make people recycle more of their waste?*  
  
It is true that we do not recycle enough household waste. Although I accept that governments should introduce laws to increase recycling, I do not agree that imposing laws is the only measure that governments should take.  
  
In my view, It is essential to allocate money for environmental education programmes in schools. These programmes can encourage children to develop a wide variety of skills, but the main purpose is that they could learn to get used to recycling on a daily basis for protecting the environment. Furthermore, governments should run campaigns to encourage people to recycle waste, such as investing money in advertisements to clarify the ideas of 'Recycling' through a catchy slogan and an attractive design of signs, which are both memorable for different generations in order to influence their recycling behaviour better.  
  
On the other hand, I believe that sufficient recycling infrastructure is the vital part of the recycling process. If recycling facilities are outdated or insufficient, it is unlikely to prompt people to recycle as much as possible. Some developing countries, for example, have a lack of recycling bins on the streets, which lead to low rates of recycling. Another motivation which may boost higher recycling rates is that governments tighten the law on recycling. People who throw certain amounts of waste into the rubbish can expect to be fined or to be asked to separate the recyclable materials and the litter for collection next time. If properly regulated, recycling can be done in a way that increases people's motivation for sorting waste.  
  
In conclusion, I am convinced that there are various measures to encourage people to dispose of their household waste more responsibly, while governments regulate the recycling rate.
You have misunderstood the requirements for the discussion. You are not being asked if you agree that imposing laws is the only measure to take regarding recycling. You are being asked to what extent you think laws should be applied in reference to forcing people to recycle their waste. You have changed the discussion requirements and shown that you did not understand the prompt. Your response to the question is not applicable to the topic provided. There is a problem with your English comprehension skills.  
  
Your response should have been more on the side of: *I believe that the government should enact laws in relation to the reusing of so-called trash materials only to the extent that it does not encumber the people from removing trash from their homes. Let me explain my opinion further below.*
**In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough.  
  
What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?**  
To assure the kids that they are able to attain anything through hard work is an idea to spread in some cultures. As it has both merits and demerits, I will try to support both views with supporting ideas.  
  
Starting with the benefits, the mentioned belief can be a reason for mental strength in childrens' minds. When they get an assurance of success after investing their best, they learn to deal with failures positively. For instance, A.P.J Abul Kalam was born in a poor family. He could not think of being a president for the surroundings he has. Believing that hard work does pay off, he could fulfill his dream. Instead, if a kid is always impulsed by telling that trying enough does not work, he might lose interest in life, and this can lead to depression.  
  
However, strong belief, sometimes, tends to make some students desperate, ultimately leading to the regret of wasting their time in the wrong work. By way of illustration, if one has an inborn talent for music, it is not wise for him to try heart and soul for becoming the best businessman throughout his life, for his surroundings say so. Rather, he is able to be a way better musician with the same effort. Kids should be disadvantaged if they are not told to recognize their own areas of interest and talent before trying hard enough.  
  
To conclude, telling "the hard work" as the only way to succeed can lead a child to invest his time in the wrong work. On the other hand, telling it should help the child to be stronger.
For the first paragraph, I prefer to use: However, this message has benefit and demerit to the children grow that will be elaborated in this essay, in the first paragraph.  
  
For the second paragraph:  
'children' is plural so it should be '... mental strength in children's minds'.  
'... a president for the surroundings he has.' Since it described past, you should consistently use the past tense. So, it would be '... the surroundings he had.'  
  
Typo of 'fulfill', you should write 'fulfil'.  
  
Overall, in my opinion, you've explained your idea clearly. However, I don't think that you describe the disadvantage of hard work message in the third paragraph. It tends to be about how if the children only focus on hard-working without considering other aspects. Maybe, you could explain about the successful ambition or obsession as the impact of hard-working.  
  
Good luck for your IELTS Exam!
You are still using the original reference words in your restatement. There must not be any trace of the original keywords and prompts in your newly developed paragraph. Using synonyms, you should have changed most words and phrases from the original such as:  
  
- in some cultures ( cut and paste from the original)  
  
When using local heroes for your examples, always remember to indicate who he is. What were his accomplishments? What made him admirable? Remember that the examiner will not be familiar with these people in most instances so the relevance of this reference point as an advantage would not be clear to the examiner. You only explained his surroundings, but you did not explain the cultural relevance of this point. How did culture play a role in his success? Who told him he can succeed if he tries hard enough? The most important discussion aspect is the cultural reference and it was lost in your discussion.