dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
***It's generally believed that success in fields such as art and sport can only be achieved if a person has natural talent. However, it's sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or artist.  
  
## Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

  
  
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.***  
  
It is argued that traning is required for a person to become a star in a genre of sport or art. Nevertheless, there have been such typical persons who have achived a lot by virtue of their own natural talent. Let me discuss both the points of view of this issue in the essay before coming to my ultimate standpoint.  
  
In the first place, innate aptitude definitively contributes a large proportion in the success of many people. It is natural talent of which many geniuses have taken advantages and obtained various success. A good illustration for this is one of the best football players on the world - Messi. He is claimed to have a fascinating talent in playing football when he was a child, and there is no doubt that this kind of skill has noticeably assisted him to be an extraodinary player and to earn a lot of money. Not only football but also other fields such as art emerge similar geniuses, and they prove that natural talent plays such crucial role in success.  
  
On the other hand, accomplishment is not obtainable without intense training and good instruction. One's talent will be likely to disappear if it is not regconized and reinforced. Had it not been for his coaches, Messi would have never achive such reputation and honour. Talent requires a lot of training and striving in order to be completely perfect.  
  
All thing considered, there is no doubt that innate talent is a great advantage for one person to gain success. Nevertheless, a variety of additional elements are essential such as being well taught to make a talent become perfect.
sport or art.  
Use word replacements for these keywords. You should avoid using the same words as the original in your interpretation.  
  
achived  
Wrong spelling - achieved (correct spelling), LR deduction.  
  
Let me discuss both the points of view of this issue in the essay before coming to my ultimate standpoint.  
Tell me what your ultimate stand point is for your personal thesis statement. Be direct. Repeating the instructions does not help direct the discussion in a clear way. Accomplish 3 things in relation to the TA:  
  
- Restate 2 public points of view (2 accomplishments )  
- state your point of view in relation to the discussion.  
  
Okay, you explained both points of view in a general manner. Where is your personal - paragraph that represents the third discussion requirement? I don't read a reference to it. Expect your score to be non-passing due to the missing 3rd discussion element.Additionally, the 2nd public opinion lacks development when compared to the 1st. Always discuss the public opinions evenly.
***Some employers offer their employees subsidised membership of gyms and sports clubs, believing that this will make their staff healthier and thus more effective at work. Other employers see no benefit in doing so.***  
  
## Discuss both views and give your opinion.

  
  
Going to gyms and sports clubs is arguably essential to boost employees' health and productivity, but not all people think alike. I suppose that this has both demerits and merits.  
  
On one hand, it's no secret that exercising is good for us both mentally and physically. When we do sports, our body will create certain kinds of hormones which can help our mind to relax; therefore, it can be a terrific way to relieve stress and refresh our mind after a nerve-racking day of work. I believe that a tired and stressed employee could not make rational decisions or work effectively. Moreover, sedentary employees might have a higher chance to face gradual health deterioration; thus, it is necessary for them to exercise on a regular basis. A wide range of diseases are also prevented if we burn some calories through working out. In so doing, not only one could tone the body but also decline the risk of obesity.  
  
On the other hand, going to gyms and sports clubs might cost one a tremendous amount of time. The benefits that can gain through exercising are not overnight; hence, one has to be patient and persistent to derive them. In addition, these vigorous activities require a lot of energy. This could result in sore muscles and fatigue which might be a hindrance for employees to work properly.  
  
In conclusion, working out has both advantages and disadvantages. Exercising is undisputedly good for our health, but too much of anything is bad, one should know how to do it wisely.
The first sentence is an incorrect prompt restatement. You did not make reference to employers being the source of the 2 opinions. seperate the opinion references into individual sentences and use proper word equivalents for the word " employer". Your version uses a general s source which is different from the direct soauces provided in the original.  
  
Your discussion does not take into account the required third person business owner reasoning presentation for each point of vlew. Rather than providing a clear comparison per business sector opinions, you are using a general personal reference point. The public comparison target based on 3 points of comparison ( pro, con, personal) disappeared.
I think that you need to search for some model sentences in the opening as well as the way to construct it probably. Besides, writing both consideration like this sometimes will undermine your logical thinking instead of enhance its quality, you should focus on one point of view and that would bring much more efficiency.  
  
The third paragragh is too short and it can't serve the full requirement of the test form. I suggest you one way to express it like (1) introduction of your opinition (2) explain some reasons to support your idea (3) give some evidence or example in your daily experience.
***Many automobile manufacturers created self-driving systems for their vehicles.***  
  
## DISCUSS ADVANTAGES AND DISADVANTAGES OF RELEASING CARS WITH THESE SYSTEM.

  
  
As the advent of modern technology, there has been a common belief that automakers of smart cars may cause some adverse issues to the society and pose a threat to the old generation for not updating these new high-tech equipment. However, from a personal perspective, I do believe that auto system obviously brings more merits than the bad ones.  
  
There are many compelling reasons why peoples consider automobile manufacturers as a complex system. On the individual level, the old seems it is hard for them to learn how to use these transportations and apparently transforming into this new trend must cost an arm and a leg on a wide scale. In addition, technological advances in self-driving automobiles can reduce the security of their owner's privacy. For instance, to keep track of users destinations, auto system can hold a host of informations which can be served as detrimental purposes if there are any hackers want to use it.  
  
Nevertheless, automobile vehicles will help us reduce remarkably accidents and become one of the most convenient devices according to its self-driving program. The system based on algorithms designed to overcome human errors by working orderly. In fact, a recent survey has shown that about 60 percent of automobile accidents can be prevented by using self-driving systems. This is because they can monitor the paths more carefully, keep a safe distance from other vehicles. Extrinsically, they do not depend on personal emotions and work efficiently without human's cognitive. This can lead to a decrease in human error and accident rate so everyone can drive safely and minimize negative consequences.  
  
To sum up, although community still has some controversial prejudices about applying self-driving system for their transportations, it is evident that using this process will properly increase the life standard of citizens and create a number of advantages.
You are not discussing the prompt requirement as indicated. You are discussing old and new tech comparisons as opposed to the safety considerations intailed in the use of automated cars. Issues to be considered are on-board computer failures, technology hijacking in driverless cars that cause drivers to lose control of steering direction, and lack of actual driver attention to road conditions when compared to simple automatic cars with a simple on-board computer system.  
  
The above topics should have been used in your first reasoning discussion paragraph. your second paragraph is well developed and discussed. You clearly understand the advantages which led to the effective discussion. The conclusion though, could have been better presented. Rather than 1 long compressed sentence, use up to 5 sentences to properly segment or divide the discussion summary points.
## resources from unexplored areas in the world

  
  
Due to increasing exploitation and consumption of fossil fuels such as oil and gas, natural resources are on the verge of being exhausted. For this reason, it is suggested that scientists should investigate some methods to get access to more resources in unexplored areas in the world . Personally, I find this suggestion reasonable to some extent and my writing would thoroughly examine this view before my opinion is stated.  
  
On the one hand, as the world is witnessing a dramatic growth in population, the demands for fossil fuels are increasing as a result. Based on this, those resources are being exploited to meet the demands, thus leading to the deficiency in the availability of resources. Therefore, once the unknown materials are introduced, people are able to provide themselves with enough resources. Another notable point is that this could pave the way for the scientists and experts to carefully study and conduct research on these remote places. Based on this, there is a likelihood that alternative resources, which are environmentally- friendly, could be explored . Undeniably, having access to unexploited areas can create good chance for scientists as well as non-experts to receive more resources.  
  
On the other hand, problems related to the environment may be raised during the process of finding unused substances. To be more specific, harmful pollutants such as CO2 and sulphur dioxide are being released as a consequence of alternative sources of energy being carelessly exploited. Accordingly, this definitely deteriorates the issues of global warming, rising sea levels or even serious disasters. In addition, this activity also results in a chronic problem that cannot be solved. Obviously, due to the over-exploitation of natural resources, humans are running out of limited fossil fuels. If we continue utilizing these materials in that way, the new resources, if could be found, would be exhausted again. In that case, this problem ends up being worsened, not improved.  
  
To sum up, even though the prospects of meeting the growing demands of humans and new sources of research for scientists are remarkable, detrimental impacts on the environment and a chronic problem should not be neglected. In my opinion, the government and experts should plan some policy to control the exploitation and utilization of these resources , then discoveries of new sources will be applied.
**some extent** and my writing would thoroughly examine this view before my opinion is stated.  
For TA opinion scoring purposes, try to be more specific. Based on this writing, the clearer option would be similar to:  
  
*I find this reasonable to the extent that it relates to or affects (state the opinion reasons, at least 2)*  
  
The reference sample above implies the actual extent based on facts rather than emotional measurement. Factual measurement is just as acceptable and sometimes, better scoring than an emotional measurement response when it comes to a TA appropriate opinion and C+ C preliminary scoring.  
  
Based on this,  
This is not a very good transition phrase.you need a phrase that better relates the previous discussions with the final discussion topic. This is good and acceptable but could be better. Say something like:  
  
*Considering (topic1 and 2), one can deduce /understand why...*  
  
Your discussions are sound but need to be better connected in the paragraphs. Look out for the word count too . You only have 40 minutes for the task. Make sure you do not over discuss / write your essay. You might set yourself up for scoring mistakes that way.
**TOPIC:  
## *Computers are increasingly used in education.*

  
In which areas do you think are computers more important and in which areas are teachers more important?**  
  
These days, advances in computers have made tremendous impacts on teaching and learning. As a result, it might be considered the norm for students to use computers. However, devices are only important in some fields, while teacher are responsible for the others. The following essay takes a look at the issue.  
  
Since time immemorial, the widespread use of laptops has been attributed to an array of benefits. First and foremost, computers provide scholars an array of resources of information. It is undeniable that this appliance is a tool allowing us to search on the Internet. For example, if we want to explore the human history, we easily typing into the web searchbox, then click the mouse, we are an acourant with details. Secondly, computers help us study online, especially during the Covid pandemic. In case students are unable to go to school due to disease or distance, this device enable us to continuosly taking courses at academy. Juniors are still available to stay in touch with teachers and friends.  
  
On the other hand, teachers play an important role in education. First of all, it is considering that they inspiring their students at studying. Children will learn effectively if they have encouragement and motivation, which computers can not develop.Furthermore, leisures give guidance to learners. According to experts, spending much time together makes tutors be as juniors' second parents. To be more specific, teachers help students build not only their knowledge but also their behaviour and character. Such as they always come in handy when pupils need advice or correct their mistakes.  
  
Taking everything into consideration, computers and teachers both take part in education crucially. From my perspective, each has its own benefits and drawbacks. Students need to combine these two method to achieve the best learning.  
  
*Thanks for your help*
The following essay takes a look at the issue.  
Be specific about the areas where computers matter more. There is a direct qquestion provided ffor which a direct response is required to fulfill the thesis statement and clear opinion Task scoring requirement. This sentence does not help your score in this section.  
  
[~~quote=amietran]Since time immemorial,[/quote]~~  
Memorized phrase used in the wrong context. Just use a direct topic sentence for clarity oand better discussion point reference in relation to C + C.  
  
First and foremost,  
Really, stop with the word fillers that have no scoring value.  
  
On the other hand, teachers play an important role in education  
This is a prompt deviation which will not be scored and instead will reduce your word count and quite possibly result in a failed essay. This paragraph clearly shows that you did not fully understand the discussion topic and instruction.
## huge amount of cars contribute to the air pollution

  
  
It is clear that air pollution is serious problem facing humankind to date. Although people have widely acknowledged the negative effects of automobiles on their environment, they keep making and using it excessively. There are some potential reasons related for this trend, but many possible solutions can be used to prevent it.  
  
To begin with, there are several plausible reasons are leading to this situation. One of the main reason is the flexibility of traveling by car. In other words, this mode of transport does away with the buying tickets, like busses and trains. As a results, commuters can go to work, shopping and follow other pursuits at this convenience without depending on fixed schedules of public transportation. Another contributing factor is that private cars can bring a great sense of pleasure and comfort. To be more specific, people can use their car to go to somewhere and enjoy a long-lasting journey by using this state of the art car's inside furniture, compared with the feeling that of public transportation.  
  
However, some measures could be used to address the intractable problem of increased car production and use. The most efficient solution is stricter taxation application. The Government should be given high tax to car products that are released more polluted air, based on environmental standard and compared with the counterpart. Another practical approach is that government should encourage people to use buses, trains and metros....as alternative means of transport. To do this, authority should upgrade people's awareness, traffic infrastructure and facilities, which make passengers feel superior and use it regularly. By doing this, it is hoped that people will have more travel choices and circumscribe car usage.  
  
In conclusion, the flexibility and sense of pleasure are the two main driving forces that contribute to constant use of car. However, the problem can be handled by higher taxation policies and public awareness raising, described above.
There are some potential reasons related for this trend, but many possible solutions can be used to prevent it.  
Respond directly to the 2 questions to help outline you reasoning paragraphs. In 2 sentences, give your subject response for:  
  
1. Why is this?  
2. How could this be controlled?  
  
Your topic outline will prove how well you understood the task discussion requirements in relation to the restated topic.  
  
[~~quote=duyenb1602679]To begin with, there are several plausible reasons are leading to this situation.[/quote]~~  
Avoid the use of sentence fillers like these. While these help you meet the word count, there sentences do not apply themselves to any scoring sections. These do not help increase your sectional and overall score.  
  
results  
Incorect word usage. The previous scenario is singular so the singular of results (result) should be referred to. Review your S v p lessons.  
  
The Government should be given high tax to car products  
This is an incorrect sentence. Here, you are saying the government should be taxed instead of the people for purchasing cars. The latter is what you meant. You are scored on though clarity based on sentence presentation. Be very careful. You score down in the GRA section for sentences like these.
## purchase over the internet or at a local store

  
  
How often do you go shopping? What kind of ways do you prefer to purchase goods? Numerous customers enjoy convenience from shopping online; however, other people tend to buy at stores. This difference comes from features of each type. There are three main differences that people consider when they go shopping online and at a store.  
  
To begin with, the convenience when purchasing is the priority concern. If you buy something at a store, you need to come there to choose. By contrast, you only utilise cell phone to browse apps or the web to purchase numerous different goods. The special thing is that you can buy at home, or company, or anywhere. This difference create considerately change when you go shopping at store and online.  
  
Another difference between purchasing online and at store is their price. Normally, the price of products in apps or websites is cheaper than in stores because apps often sell at least once a month, and a bunch of deals are good for customers. For instance,shopee sales a lot each month and its deals can reduce fifty percent of a goods. Sometimes, stores also decrease the price of clothes or tickets, but it is not just really efficiency for customers. Due to this feature, it relates the difference between these types of shopping.  
  
Finally, shopping online differs from shopping at stores because of the variety of products. For example, while it is easy for me to buy a printed book by India in Tiki app, you seldom purchase it at a bookstore because it often sells books that are famous and wonderful from Europe, China, USA and so on.In conclusion, it creates a difference between two kinds of shopping online.  
  
Overall, shopping online is different from shopping at stores due to convenience, price and variety of products. Even if it is shopping anywhere, it also includes several drawbacks and benefits. Consequently, if you think that a kind of way is really suitable for you, just use it and purchase anything you need.
How often do you go shopping? What kind of ways do you prefer to purchase goods?  
These are rhetorical questions that you don't really addless in the rest of the writing. so keep your writing on target, use only related questions that you will certainly discuss for this essay, the questions should have related to the 3 main differences instead.  
  
you need to ~~come~~ there  
You need to GO there  
  
Come - verb; to approach or move toward a particular person or place: Come here.  
  
Go - verb; the act of going, You need to go there.  
  
at home, ~~or company~~, or anywhere.  
You cannot go shopping via app at work. If caught, you will get fired from your job.  
  
create considerately change  
Improper grammar. Lack of vocabulary definition familiarity. the phase does not make sense.  
Creates A CONSIDERABLE change  
  
Due to this feature, it relates the difference between these types of shopping.  
Unnecessary sentence. This already clear as a marked difference in the paragraph.
Ielts writing . hey guys , Can anyone help me with this article?  
  
## the impact of technology is not always positive

  
  
With the help of advanced technology, the qualities of people's life improve dramatically. However, there are some arguments against that this situation has a negative influence on our communicational skills. In my views, I agree that technology has a bad effect on us but if used properly it is the advantages outweigh the downsides  
  
Before seeing through the essay, some points need to be highlighted here. the advent of modern science brings benefits to our living. By using electronic email and chatting facilities such as Facebook or Instagram, people could communicate and connect with other people more efficiently and effectively. Furthermore, people can use computers as a way to make friends and connect with people. Facebook or Twitter could be used to connect people from different areas, they can chat, call each other, even play games together.  
  
In addition, there are a lot of people who are over-dependence on technology. We can not ignore the fact that how technology has improved our lives. However, ưith all the attractive and entertaining applications, many people like to play around with their gadgets for hours and abandon their social life. As the result, they are addicted to the Internet and agree to live in the technology-saturated world. In my view, how the computer affects your real life depends on how you use it, so that, use of computers and technology devices is the solution in prevent from isolated and a lack of communication among people.  
  
In conclusion, the computer has become a problem for some people but not for some others. From my point of view, furnish necessary skills with people is what should be done to avoid it is harmful effects