dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
***The first man to walk on the moon claimed it was a step forward for mankind. However, it has made little difference in most people's lives.  
  
## To what extent do you agree or disagree?

  
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.***  
  
When Yuri explored the moon for the first time, he concluded that it would be a wonderful achievement of people. In terms of experimental science, I agree with this statement; however, in terms of a straightforward person, who only loves the beautiful present time, I do not agree that traveling to the space can help people to have a sufficient perceivability.  
  
Space science has become one of the major research directions nowadays. People need to focus on investigating the universe. Therefore, they find several methods for exploring space, from picking ones from the earth to the moon, to using unmanned vehicles that can take photographs. In this viewpoint, I realize that in one coming day, the earth where people are living will be destroyed. Therefore, it is necessary to travel to space for searching a novel plan for people.  
  
In the other hand, I do not agree that people can understand the universe unless they understand themselves first. A human body is a universe too, but smaller. For example, the human cells can be regarded as the stars, which are continuously born and die time by time. Gaining insight the way our body processes, people can realize the way everything process too. Otherwise, people will do without the correct direction. Let consider the men who traveled to the moon and picked some stones from it to the earth. They claimed that they had possessed the moon; however, their perceivability about the moon even is less than the children, in my opinion. When the children observe the moon, they straightforward enjoy its beauty, without comparing, thinking, and researching. The beauty in the children eyes is completely perfect in this case. Otherwise, perhaps someone could travel to the moon and pick something from it comeback. However, the moon in this case is a normal research objective in the viewpoint of scientist.  
  
Inclusion, although I can realize the purpose of scientists when they exploring space, I expect that people would explore themselves before reaching to other things in nature and in universe.
For accuracy purposes, avoid making mention of any names in relation to the space program. This is to avoid making and wrong references (Neil Armstrong was the first man on the moon who made that statement, not Yuri) which could expose the writer's lack of proper historical knowledge. It is not important to mention names, it is important to get restate the topic properly. Any errors in reference could have a (minimal) effect on the score of the essay.  
  
The writer got too caught up in his imagined discussion points that he actually ended up straying off topic, failing to provide the correct response opinion to the provided question. Which will lead to an automatic failing score for this essay. Once an incorrect topic and format is used for the opinion statement and succeeding paragraphs, there is no way the essay can achieve a passing score. The presentation was simple enough, but complicated by the writer who misunderstood or disregarded the discussion instruction.  
  
Question: TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE?  
Response: I agree with this statement; however, in terms of a straightforward person, who only loves the beautiful present time, I do not agree that traveling to the space can help people to have a sufficient perceivability.  
  
When properly outlined, the reason for the failing score becomes self-explanatory.
## people tend to work remotely

  
  
The more flourishing the society is, the more changeable the life is. In the past, to exchange about work, people had to arrange face-to-face meeting but nowadays thanks to the development, they tend to work remotely. From my perspective, not only does this have a variety of benefits but it also contains a lot of drawbacks.  
  
One of the most vital advantages is going down the stress of financial problems. As far as I know, thousands of laborers and workers have been laid off because many companies are on the verge of becoming bankrupt, especially during a lethal pandemic. Therefore, the Internet is an ideal piece of equipment to help them find other online jobs or exchange the issues via social media such as emails, Facebook, Zalo...Secondly, working from home gives people more convenience and freedom. Previously, they must be wake up early, prepare to go to the office, and even wait for a-hour congestion on the streets, that's why they don't have enough time to maintain an active lifestyle. For the time being, rather than choosing to work in an office, they tend to work from home, which supports them in managing their own time and improving their health, and prevent vehicle accidents from mounting. For example, when you work on the screen of the computer for a long time that causes eye strain, you can take a break every twenty minutes.  
  
On the negative side, remote working brings about a practical concern that people have no interaction with their co-workers. When you work at home, you still have access to information, feel part of a team and be able to communicate with others; however, I wonder if people worked as a group. While working in the office, if you get into trouble, your colleagues might help you directly and quickly, which is a favorable condition for the success of the company. When it comes to being safe and secure, working from home may influence your job. It is thought that at the time a year ago, some Russian hackers had broken down the Ukrainian power system. Thus, working remotely is still a worldwide issue.  
  
In short, working from home might be conducive and makes people healthier, in contrast, this affects their working environment. In my opinion, the disadvantages of this problem outweigh the advantages.
The writer is not being asked to provide a personal opinion pertaining to the topic. This is not a comparative essay either. This is a direct Advantage v. disadvantage discussion. Just discuss both topics. The writer does not need to make a choice or give an opinion. Outlining 2 positive and 2 negative reasons in place of the opinion statement would have sufficed.  
  
Avoid the use of ellipses in an academic essay. Since that punctuation mark normally refers to a straying of thoughts int he presentation, it is mostly used in creative, rather than academic writing. Use clear sentence presentations only. Make a point with every sentence written. There is no need to be creative because this is not that sort of essay.  
  
Since this is not a personal opinion essay, references to the writer's thoughts and opinions within the presentation are out of place. General references and general pronouns may be used. A first person reference will create a scoring problem for this essay in terms of the TA and C+C scores.
***Topic: Large businesses have big budgets for marketing and promotion and as a result, people gravitate towards buying their products.***  
## What problems does this cause? What could be done to encourage people to buy local products?

  
  
Nowadays,people are attracted by products from big companies; these companies have huge marketing systems and enough money to hire some media companies to popularize their products. This make local products nearly stand no chance against them. This problem is about business, we can't stop those big companies stop to run their marketing. Instead, people who make local products must know how to "play".  
  
In fact, there're still some persons who can sell their own products successfully, even when some big companies have products with the same function. The difference between them and the others is their skills to sale. They know how to make people know about their products by using technologies like e-market, social network. At first; there're not many people know about them, peoples who buy them are even fewer; but if their products are good enough, people will buy it more and more, naturally.these persons talk to their clients cleverly to persuade clients to buy their goods. So the first solution that i recommend is that people must improve their skill to sale if they want their goods sold well  
  
I call the second solution "business to business" .If you can produce a large number of your products and they are good enough, why won't you sell them to a company and let them help you to popularize your goods. This company will use their marketing system to make your products famous and sell them. If you want to do it this way, you must be capable to mass-produce and know how to find and persuade the conformable company.  
  
In my opinion, the main problem is about people who sell local products. they must change to survive in this new era of business; if they can do that, ther's no reason that people will find products from big business which have higher price.
The restatement is a bit roundabout in presentation but it eventually made it back to the original point. Next time, try to be more direct in terms of paraphrasing. It will ensure that the interpretation quickly duplicates the original. The original need not be represented word for word. Simply restating the essence of focus of the discussion will be more than enough to get a good consideration score. The direct question responses were pretty much on track, until it derailed when responding to the second question:  
  
Question: WHAT COULD BE DONE TO ENCOURAGE PEOPLE TO BUY LOCAL PRODUCTS?  
Response: Instead, people who make local products must know how to "play".  
  
It is not about the inferred "play". The response should have made a suggestion as to how small businesses can sell themselves to the buyers. A sample response is:  
  
*Enticing regional buyers to purchase locally made products would be as simple as elevating their social media presence.*  
  
Talk about product promotion, which is what the original topic / foundational discussion is all about. It was at this point that the essay got away from the writer and created a prompt deviation. Seeing as how the essay does not fully correspond to the prompt, there will be a question as to whether this essay can recieve a passing score. Even though the discussion presentation is good and developed, it is not developed based on the expected discussion response. So it may be difficult for this presentation to achieve a passing score.
## pros and cons of learning foreign language early

  
  
Some people argue as to whether or not learning a foreign language at an early age is good for children. In this essay, I will explore the pros and cons of this argument with some relevant examples to support it.  
  
On the one hand, there are at least two main benefits when developing a new language skill as a child. Firstly, many researches have shown that the best time to learn a new language is at the age of 3-6. The children's brains can easily absorb the new language without not much effort because they do not have any concerns or shyness like many adults have when they exposure to something new. Secondly, learning a new language at an early age help to prepare a better life for the child when they grow up. For example, in some developing countries such as Vietnam, learning English is really vital as it opens more opportunities to get a well-paid job and a decent life.  
  
On the other hand, learning a foreign language too early can result in many unexpected outcomes. One of the negative points is that some children may not be ready to learn something new and many parents often tend to force their children to study when they do not want to. This can make the child have a fear for learning, or maybe it can deprive the peaceful childhood of the child. In addition, learning the language when too young can also cause many language disorders. Teaching language for a child is not an easy-going job, it requires many experiences and techniques, thus the wrong educational method can result in many troubles that affect negatively the child.  
  
In conclusion, let the children learn a new langue can be good if parents and teachers know what is appropriate for the kids.
It is not a matter of exploring the discussion topic. There was a clear question asked, upon which the writer is expected to rpesent and opinion response at the end of the restatement paragraph. Do the advantages outweight the disadvantages? Yes or no? Which side does the writer support? Why? These are the series of questions that should have been answered in the thesis statement and succeeding discussion paragraphs. The writer chose to respond without a clear thesis statement and the summary conclusion did not provide a clear opinion based on the discussion topics presented in the original prompt.  
  
Without a direct response to the question, the essay fails to present a clear opinion as required by the TA score. The unrelated discussion response fails to deliver what is expected of the essay discussion. The go-to discussion format of test takers is always the comparison presentationl. That is not the default discussion format for a task 2 essay. There are the single opinion essays, comparative essays, cause-effect, etc. All of which require specific discussion formats. This essay used the wrong approach because the student failed to consider the discussion requirement, which focuses on a single opinion response. Prove the other side of the discussion wrong in order to prove the writer's opinion correct. That is how the discussion must be approached, but that is not what was presented here.
## The chart below shows how frequently people in the USA ate in fast food restaurants

  
  
The given bar graph compares the proportion of US people who had meals in fast-food restaurants in three separate years (2003, 2006, and 2013).  
  
Looking at the graph, it is clear that most Americans went to fast-food restaurants once a week and once or twice a month. It is also transparent that only a few people ate fast food every day.  
  
In 2003, the proportion of Americans who ate fast food once a week at restaurants registered more than 30 percent. This figure slightly increased to approximately 33 percent in the next three years; however, in 2013, this had decreased to around 27%. An opposite pattern was witnessed in the allocation of US people consuming fast food once or twice a month, where it fell by 5 percent from exactly one-third in the first three years before considerably rose to about 33 percent at the end of the period.  
  
The proportion of people who ate fast food several times a week fluctuated between 16 percent and a fifth, which were slightly higher compares to those who only consume fast food a few times a year (13% to 15%). The percentage of daily eaters and who never ate this type of food stood at a remarkably low figure, ranging from 3 to 5 percent in the surveyed period.  
  
*
A complete summary overview will allow the reader to get an idea of the type of measurement provided by the image. This presentation does not indicate any measurement type, so the reader is not informed about that important point, as it relates to the trending statement. While the summary overview is creative, it lacked a piece of information that is expected by the examiner.  
  
before considerably rose  
- Considerably rising  
- The presentation connotes an active comparison of the measurement even though it has happened in the past. Therefore, an active reference should be used in the comparison. Rose relates to a past completed action but, that is not how the presentation was set up. Be aware of tense usage in relation to action clarity within the paragraph.  
  
The report itself sounds complete. I cannot be sure since the image was not provided. The reader comes away from it informed about the missing image. That is a good thing because the whole point of this report is to make sure that the writer can present an accurate and imaginative data presentation that will not confuse or misinform the reader.
## Games Teach Us Real Life Lessons

  
  
The young of most mammals, including humans, likes to play. Scientists claim that with lions, for example, play fighting prepares the cubs for their future life as a hunter and killer. The question is whether games teach humans about life. Many people believe that games accustom the player to life-skills such as perseverance and competitiveness.  
  
However, I disagree with the title statement because I consider games to be mainly for children. In childhood, we do not have responsibility for the world.The child is always eager to grow up - to become a year older or to reach the legal age of an adult. Children find happiness in games by pretending to be an adult in the real world. The problem is that games are optional; they contain too much happiness and too littie hardship to ever be real. An adult, by contrast, finds meaning in his life by accepting that there are greater things in the world than his own happiness.  
  
One of the dangers of games is that some people attempt to translate the rules of a game onto reality. The modern exanple of this problem is television and computer games. People in the West are now growing concerns that children and teenagers occasionally imitate violence that they see on the screen. Death is fun on a computer game; and unstable teenagers who kill people in computer games can forget the value of life. American films are often accused of making violence glamorous .  
  
This is not to say that games did not deceive people before the invention of television and the microchip. Success as a sports-star can lead a player to self-importance. If a football player is made captain of his team and receives praise from the local press, he might be tempted to assume that he is the boss in other areas of his life, such as within friendships. Also, he might be surprised to find that sport is simply not important.  
  
Finally, gambling should also be mentioned as a dangerous game. Although gambling and the acceptance of luck are acceptable features of many cultures, a selfish gambler can neglect his financial duties towards his family. Eventually, gambling can become a drug that destroys life.  
  
To an extent, life for most people is precarious enough to incude some degree of winning and losing, and of adventure. Also, an unexpected opportunity or lucky find is one of the joys of life. But sooner or later we have to settle down and face the grind of adult life.  
  
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## the television viewing figures for sports

  
  
The table illustrates the range amount of television viewing for sports of each country. These sports contain tennis, golf, motor racing and athletics.  
  
Overall, the country which has the most television viewing is USA with over 25 millions view. Tennis become the most popular sport compare to others. In Australia, people are interested in tennis, it is about 6.2 milions, opposite with athletics, 3 milions. In UK, a number of view is not rapidly. In USA, golf become the most popular sport for television viewing, it reach 11.2 millions. In contrast, motor racing is the least common with 1.5 millions. Like USA, Canada not have many view in motor racing, about 1.1 millions.  
  
*
The writer has not presented a properly developed data report based on the image. The observations presented only have 113 words in it. Far short of the 150 requirement. This means that the essay will not reach a passing mark because of the severe word percentage deduction applied for the lacking words. The writer will recieve a score based on all considerations, but the deduction will ensure that he will not pass this test. Aside from the word count error, the essay also fails to represent itself within the required 3-4 paragraph presentation expectation. It is obvious that the writer has not attempted this task before. He must look at the available samples of task 1 essays at this forum to get a better idea of how to approach the presentation. Learning from the mistakes of others along the way to help him become a better writer in relation to this task. He has to focuse mroe on comparison and analysis presentations in order to meet the prompt requirements.
I prefer if you add the countries in the introduction. Please refer this correction as a suggestion. " The table illustrates the proportions for watching 4 sports ( tennis, golf, motor racing and athletics) on television among people in Australia, UK, Canada and USA.  
  
Overall, the country ~~which has the most television viewing~~ which has the most television viewing with the highest viewing figure is USA with over 25 millions views. Tennis ~~become~~ is the most popular sport ~~compare to others~~ among all. In Australia, most people are interested in tennis, ~~it~~  which is around ~~is about~~ 6.2 milions, opposite with athletics, 3 milions. In UK, a number of view is not rapidly Cannot understand the idea in here. In USA, golf ~~become~~ is the most popular sport for television viewing, ~~it reach~~that almost reached 11.2 millions. In contrast, As you gave an Overall at first, hope the contrast is not good enough to add again motor racing ...
The essay misses out on the whole point of the statement of purpose. What is the purpose of the study? What professional application will the additional studies have? What the the goal of the student? How is it relevant to his current and future occupational targets? Alignment of interests is one thing, but actually stating and relating these to the line of study are another presentation altogether. These need to spelled out. This is a written interview afterall. Specifics are required. Less of the wandering thoughts and more of a focused discussion. While the work experience is notable in relation to the course, the undergraduate foundation that will be the proof required that one will be a successful student. Having an undergraduate understanding of the required courses will mean that he will be capable of performing and accomplishing the class requirements. Prove to be an asset to the class instead of a liability through undergraduate and other training preparations relevant to this course. The professor discussion is not relevant at this point. That should be presented in the study plan if one is required of the applicant.
## finding out the history of the building we live in

  
  
It is increasingly prevalent among citizens in several parts of the world to research the origin of their accommodation building.This essay will discuss the reason and the way people seek for it.  
  
It is an obvious fact that a considerable number of people curious about the feng shui of the location of the building they are living.They believe feng shui highly depend on the position of furniture or even the history of the house. For instance, Before moves to a new place, Asian usually hire a consultant to scrutinize everything house and give advice about the suitable location of furniture for good feng shui, which affect occupant's success, happiness and health and discover a cure for demons existed in the house.  
  
There are two straightforward methods to easily search the origin of the house where they are living.First method is to ask local dwellers for the list of old owners and the interesting story of what was happened in the building. For example, ask neighbors if someone died or there was a murder happened in the house. This way perhaps the accuratest method. However, in case of local people are clueless about their house, people can assess the internet and search for the street where the building is located or attend the nearby library to find information of that.  
  
In conclusion, people search for the history of the house to satisfy their curiosity and also to scrutinize for sorts of things to relocate it and therefore have a good feng shui.