dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
***In some countries, teenagers have job while they are still students.  
## Do you think it's a good idea?***  
  
There is an argument over the issue of whether teenagers should have job while they are still students.Some people think students should,but many others don't think so.Personally,i think that it both has advantages and disadvantages.i base my opinion on the following points.  
  
On one hand,working brings to students many benefit.First of all,students can learn how to arrange their time to be able to combine their study time and working schedule,which is an essential skill each of us should have.Secondly,he or she might gains new experience and knowledge working with the new people,and feel more independent in front of crowd.Besides,youngster will learn how to save money and manage their budget as well as spend money wisely.Finally,it's can't be denied that,if having a job,they also get some money to pay their fees,the pocket money or even help their families.  
  
On the other hand,working while being students has a big fluence on their study as well as their private lives.He or she might not have enough time to meet their course requiremwnts,so they have to waste more time and money to get better marks.Moreover,they will easily disminish their productivities in studying.In addition, because of being so busy,youngsters will always feel stress and messy or even catch serious sickness.  
  
With these points,i think teenagers should decide for themselves whether they will be able to combine their study and work or not.  
To conclde, i believe that working experience will give a student more benefits in the future than it takes from him or her in the present.  
  
Thanks for reading❤
Hi, there are a few suggestions:  
  
1. ... she might ~~gains~~ gain new ...  
  
2. ... always feel ~~stress~~ stressed and messy...  
  
3. In the second paragraph you mentioned part-time jobs can improve students' budget-managing skills. Dedicating a few lines to elaborate why this is the case could help demonstrate a rigorous logic. Similarly, why do part-time works diminish students' productivity? This essay includes many good ideas but some of them need detailed explanation.  
  
4. If this essay is for academic purposes (for example an IELTS essay), reference to "I" should be avoided. For example:  
To conclde, ~~i believe that~~  working experience ...  
  
Well done and good luck with future writings:)
## IELTS Writing task 1 Line Chart

  
  
The line graph gives information about changes in price for three different food product groups over this 30-year period.  
Overall, the price of three food product groups and CPI fluctuated from 1978 to 2009. Meanwhile, only the prices for fruits and vegetables varied more significantly than the increase in the general CPI.  
  
It can be seen from the chart, all the lines have the same starting figure in 1979. Over the period, the consumer price index grew gradually from about 60 in 1979 to over 200 in 2009. There is no significant difference between sugar and sweets and carbonated drinks. In spite of the prices also increased, they were below the consumer price index after 1987. The figure for sugar and sweets was 200 in 2009, while the number of carbonated drinks at 150. After 1989, the prices for fruits and vegetables rose rapidly. From the same figure of about 60 in 1979, prices finished over 330 on the index in 2009.  
  
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## IELTS task 1 - Forested land

  
  
**The table shows forested land in millions of hectares in different parts of the world.  
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.  
You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.**  
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This table shows the forested land in millions of hactares in different continents of the world such as: Africa, Asia, Europe, North and South America and Oceania in three years: 1990, 2000 and 2005.  
  
According to the table, in 1990, 2000 and 2005, Europe is the continent which had the largest forested land, 1001 millions of hactares in 2005 and Oceania had the smallest area of the forested land all over the world, 197 millions of hactares in 2005.  
  
From 1990 to 2005, Europe had the area of the forested land increased the most, from 989 000 000 ha in 1990 to 1001 000 000 ha in 2005, and the forested land of South America decreased the most, from 946 millions of hacteres in 1990 to 882 millions of hactares in 2005.  
  
Overrall, the area of forested land had changes and differences between continents all over the world in three years: 1990, 2000 and 2005.  
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Thanks a lot!  
  
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## how many people visited australia in 1975 and 2005

  
  
**The line graph below shows the number of annual visits to Australia by overseas residents. The table below gives information on the country of origin where the visitors came from.  
  
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.  
Write at least 150 words.**  
  
The line graph depicts the total number of visits to Australia made by international citizens from 1975 to 2005, and the table shows information on the nationality of tourists in two specific years 1975 and 2005.  
  
Overall, number of overseas visitors had an upward trend throughout the period given. While Chinese residents made the fewest trips to Australia, tourists coming from Japan had the superior number of visits compared to the others in both years.  
  
According to the line graph, in the year 1975, the number of tourists visiting Australia was 10 million people, continuing to rise to approximately 15 million in the following ten years. Similarly, it drastically increased until reaching a peak of above 30 million visitors in the last year of the period.  
  
Regarding the table, 3.2 and 12 million Japanese people toured Australia in 1975 and 2005 respectively, which accounted for the greatest number of overseas visitors. In contrast, a mere number of visitors from China was only 0.3 in 1975 and 0.8 million of people thirty years later.  
  
( 173 words )  
Number of visitors ( millions )  
Country/ Year 1975 2005  
South Korea 2.9 9.1  
Japan 3.2 12.0  
China 0.3 0.8  
USA 0.4 1.1  
Britain 0.9 2.9  
Europe 1.1 4.5  
(Sorry that I could not upload the table )  
  
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## IELTS Writing Task 2 - Computer skills

  
  
**We have three important parts of education reading, writing, and Math. Some people think every child will benefit from a fourth skill added to the list: computer skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?**  
  
It is widely acknowledged that some basic skills, such as reading, writing and maths, are needed, but children may need a new one additionally, ICTs, information and communication technologies. From my perspective, although children can benefit from brilliant computer literacy skills, it may not be appropriate to apply to every child.  
  
There are a wide range of benefits of adding computer skills to the school curriculum. Computer skills can enhance children's academic performance more effectively. For example, students who lack the ability to utilise a search engine productively may have trouble conducting research, especially finding available resources for term papers. However, children with proficient computer skills can benefit from gathering online information more efficiently and constructively. For instance, searching data pool could enable students to acquire innumerable valid data from worldwide, which is much faster than looking for books from libraries. Therefore, students can save study time and perform outstandingly.  
  
Nevertheless, highlighting computer skills may not be appropriate for every child. In terms of difficulties of learning computer skills, some children who have learning disabilities, such as sight imparity, cannot cope with such capabilities. Those students, who can continue learning the three core areas as a range of school subjects, are already provided in limited study time. In addition, some students with a low concentration on study but online games may be liable to develop an addiction to computer games. Therefore, learning computer skills turns out to be a good excuse for these students to indulge themselves in the world of Internet, which results in degeneration on academic study.  
  
To conclude, I believe that students' academic performance can be facilitated remarkably if computer skills could be trained in an effective way, while it may be unrealistic to require every child to obtain such skills. Whether or not to add computer courses into school agenda, students' computer skills should be taken into consideration.  
  
313 words
## agree or disagree question type

  
  
Some people think using computer, including laptops and mobile phones, during lessons is a good way to encourage children to learn. Do you agree or disagree with this view?  
  
It is certainly the case that gadgets like laptops, computer and mobile phones is a good way to encourage children to learn. As it is difficult for children to stay focus on what teacher said during lesson with boring teaching like copying what teacher said. Also, tradition teaching techniques cannot present 3D concept.  
  
First, tradition teaching at school include copying what teacher wrote on blackboard and reading passage out during lessons. These methods lack of interaction which student sometime went dreaming. With the help of gadgets, learning apps made learning easier. There are apps that share teacher's powerpoint with students which students can focus on listening what teacher said instead of copying. Furthermore, online dictionary can help students understand lecture more. No need to interup teacher for asking what does this word means. These increase teacher teaching peace and help students understand lessons more, definitely encourage children to learn.  
  
Second, Math and science subject involve in a lot of 3D idea. Measurement and landscape in math and geography is hard for student to understand with textbook. Computers and laptops can present these in 3D, which student can switch the projection in different angle for better observation. These can give children a better idea of what that is instead of just imagination only. This can increase student interest toward learning for sure.  
  
In conclusion, convenience and better presentation are undoubtedly benefit brought by using gadgets during class and facilitate children learning. There are thoughts about social media will distract children through gadget and student are not going to focus is lessons is outdate. As technology is becoming advance, teacher can easily monitor students screen work on their computer. Laptop and computers can even block those distracting site before starting the class. These made me very super supportive toward this view.
Hello  
  
First of all, personally speaking, there are lots of basic grammar mistakes in your essay, such as As it is difficult for children to stay ... which doesn't have main verb and you should use present tense ( fact ). Actually, you have a wide range of vocabulary in technology include gadget and 3D concept, etc. However, because of the grammar mistakes in tense and in orthography ( interup interrupt ), it becomes a little difficult to understand your sentences. Maybe you should check your essay again.  
  
Also, you are able to use lots of relative clauses, which are great, but sometimes they are too long and it seems hard to follow your idea like There are apps that share ... I think maybe in this case, which can be changed into so. Therefore, it becomes more logical and easy to read. Maybe you can check again.  
  
Generally, your structure and ideas are very convincing.  
  
Hope my suggestions are helpful for you
some suggestions for you.  
- ... gadgets like laptops, computers and mobile phones is a good ... >>the word "gadgets" (a plural noun) doesn't go with IS  
  
- ... stay focus on what teacher said during lesson ... copying what teacher said>> It isn't good to repeat this phrase. I suggest it should be present tense.  
  
- First, traditional teaching at school includes copying ... on the blackboard and reading passages out during the lessons.  
- These methods lack ~~of~~ interactions which students sometime went dreaming ????. >> which is significant for students. sometime and sometimes are different.  
- With the help of gadgets/ apps, learning become easier and more effective.  
Be careful with the tenses and some structures. Try to make it understandable first.  
Sorry I'm not an English native speaker, so I cannot edit whole your essay. I don't want to ruin it.  
Good luck.
## comment on tourists enjoyment - Ashdown Museum

  
  
**Writing Task 1: The table below shows the numbers of visitors to Ashdown Museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. The charts show the result of surveys asking visitors how satisfied the were with their visit, during two periods.**  
  
The pie charts compare the number of people who feel satisfied toward Ashdown Museum before and after the refurbishment as well as the comparison how much people visit the museum.  
  
Overall, there was an improvement in the number of people who felt satisfied with the museum after the establishment. It was shown by a remarkable increase in the fraction of satisfied visitors and a decline in unsatisfied visitors.  
  
Before the refurbishment, the survey accounted for 40% dissatisfied people of the total visitors. Meanwhile only fifteen percent felt satisfied with the museum. The proportion therefore declined from the highest fraction (40%) to a smaller percentage (15%).  
  
In contrast, the museum experienced a sudden growth of visitors after the refurbishment. Initially, the proportion of people is around 15% of very satisfied visitors and it increased to reach more than a third of the total. The visitors were measured 92000 while it was only around 72000 before the refurbishment, a drop of 20 thousand people.  
  
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**Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local customs and behaviour. Others disagree and think that the host country should welcome cultural differences.  
  
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.**  
  
## foreign visitors in some country

  
  
Part of people think that tourist should follow traditions and behavior but other humans disagree and think that the foreign country should be welcome to cultural differences. This essay agrees that visitors should be welcome to cultural differences. This essay will discuss both points of view.  
  
It is clear that host country needs to be welcome to their foreign citizens. Being welcome to cultural differences in every country very good idea and with this point of view host country can have benefits from tourists. It is therefore agreed that tourist is a key to get a reputation between another country. Azerbaijan is a prime example how this country grows up in a few years with support of tourist despite that our country is Muslim.  
  
However, many people believe that tourist should be well-mannered and don't do wrong things. Behavior yourself good and know traditions of this country where you should travel necessary. Some countries don't like when to their traditions don't pay an attention and sometimes it can be danger. For instance, in Saudi Arabia talking with an unknown girl can be riskily and, in some cases, they can arrest or kill you.  
  
In conclusion, while the benefits of getting from tourist can improve foreign countries and get reputation better than quarrel with tourist about their lack of traditions. However, as long as we are careful to keep in mind the importance of foreign citizens in improvements country, being welcome to tradition differences are clearly positive.
@Kerlion  
Hi. Welcome to this forum! As you can see, we try our best to provide helpful writing feedback to assist you in your writing endeavors. I hope you gather something fruitful from all of this.  
  
Consistency is key. Bear this in mind when you're writing. Remember that it's critical for you to write with ease, considering that you need to maintain a composed speech that'll help you write with clarity. In addition, I also recommend that you try to incorporate more pauses into your writing. From the first paragraph, it was already noticeable how you had barely used punctuation marks to structure your writing. Remember that simplicity and clarity are essential.  
  
Remember as well that it is important for you to follow conventional writing rules. Be cautious of your composition's flow. Take a look at your second paragraph. The last sentence had quite a lot of fundamental mistakes.
**,** but other humans...  
...visitors should be honored to ...  
  
~~It is clear that~~ Host country needs ...  
Being pleasant to cultural differences ... excellent idea and with this ... can have benefited from tourists. Therefore, tourism is the key to get ...  
... prime example of how this country ... with the support of ...  
  
Some states don't like it when ~~to~~ their cultures don't pay attention**,** and sometimes it can be a danger.  
  
... and get a reputation ...  
  
*I have modified some punctuation and grammar errors please check*
... believe that ***tourists*** should ... and **don't do wrong things.**  
( replace it by a more academic phrase like " behave properly", " beware of their behaviors"  
Behavior yourself good and ... ( this sentence is full of grammatical errors, try to rewrite it )  
  
Some countries **don't like** ( use another phrase such as " show disagreement about something" when to their ...  
... girl can be riskily ( " risky" is correct ) and, ...  
  
Actually, I think the third paragraph is full of errors and really messed up . But as long as you revise your essay, you will do way better !
***In many countries not enough students are choosing to study science subject.  
## Causes and effects?***  
  
Nowadays, it is experienced that students are not likely to choose science subject for studying in many nations. This trend can stem from many reasons, which can give rise to several issues.  
  
There are a number of factors responsible for the tendency in which science subject has not been favoured by students. It requires them a retentive memory with a wide range of knowledge, which make students hardly approach. As a result, students, especially those who reckon that science subject like biology, chemistry, ... is not suitable for them may become demotivated and may not acquire any knowledge after lessons. Another cause could be that science subjects are not necessary these days anymore. That is to say, present-day jobs do not require scientific knowledge as much as they did in the past, so that students tend to choose an easier way to gain their competencies by majoring in other subjects.  
  
However, favouring other subjects rather than science one could lead to several problems. First of all, jobs that require soft skills such as communication or time management could be more competitive. In other words, as there is a great number of students studying subjects like arts, music..., they may have to compete fiercely with others to get a decent job. Consequently, it will lead to an increase in unemployment rate in the future. Another issue could be that job market would be unbalanced.  
  
Social jobs like businessperson, customer service, ... will lack job opportunities for graduates. Meanwhile, scientific jobs like investigator, scientist... will become redundant in the future  
In conclusion, students does not choose science subject to study for several reasons and this could result in a number of issues.
IELTS Writing Task 2  
  
Could any expert help me to check it? I'm not sure if this paragraph can get good grades  
  
Task:  
***Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults.  
  
## Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.***  
  
It is always a controversy to cultivate the children to be competitive or to teach them how to complete a task with co-operation. In my opinion, the incubation towards the sense of collaboration is undoubtedly better for the kids.  
  
As the rapid development of many countries, most of them are already utilizing artificial intelligence and super computer to aid themselves, such as calculating, rendering, monitoring or even constructing to pursue the highest efficiency, which means the expert in every field may be replaced in the future. Numerous of data can be found by anyone, anywhere and anytime, for instance, even a child is able to know the knowledge of PHD's degree by surfing the Internet. The knowledge is much more accessible in comparison to the past decades, in other words, the human being should do something that artificial intelligence cannot reach such as practicing having efficient conversation or discussion with others instead of keep studying to make yourself more professional and competitive.  
  
The frequency of having chat with others may associated with one's mental health. According to the research from many psychologists, the characteristic of the career has a strong connection which leads directly to one's psychological condition. The jobs which need a lot of contact with others is able to stimulate the nerves in brain, while the jobs spend most of the time in front of the computer and lack of social with colleagues may generate the negative influences to the brain cells.  
  
In conclusion, I believe that the children which equipped with the ability to having great conversation with others will live a better life compare to those who always studying. People who isolates oneself may cause the damaging outcome of their mental health, while those who talking constantly will have the opposite effect.
@longman2270  
Hi there. I'll assist you in this by providing feedback on this essay.  
  
I find the first paragraph to be sufficient. You were clear and straightforward with what you had wanted as a thesis statement.  
  
The second paragraph needs a bit of work. The first sentence was quite packed. You needed to shorten and trim down your length a bit more. Having so many constructed intricacies woven into your text makes some portions difficult to comprehend. Try to have more simplified texts in order to have a clearer delivery of your message. You had committed the same mistake in your third paragraph.
## ielts task 1- Household car ownership in Britain

  
  
The line graph illustrates data on how much car commuter in Britain over a period of 40 years starting from 1990  
  
It is clear that while the percentage of people using more than one car increase significantly, the opposite is true for no-car household. Also, there is a slight rise in the proportion of people owning only one car during the period  
  
In 1990, people no using car accounted foe the largest with over 50%. Compared with nearly 35% and 11% human commuting one and over cars respectively. Over the next 15 years, one car household peaked at over 56%. By contrast, traveling more than one car witnessed a lowest point of under 10%. At the same time, the proportion of no-car commuter fell down by approximately 17%  
  
In 2030, human owning more than one car is anticipated to grow up about over 40%. A fluctuation that people using one car is expected before reaching to the same percentage which more cars accounting. Meanwhile, a decline in the amount of no car is predicted just 15% at the end time