dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
Wow! 404 words! You certainly developed a very long essay here and I do not mean that in a good way. You only have a limited amount of time to complete this essay and believe me, you won't have time to write all of these words in an actual test. Mostly because, if you follow the proper writing format, you will be writing at least 250 words, but no more than 300 words due to time constraints, editing requirements, and other polishing considerations. I think you are reviewing on your own which is why you over wrote the essay. So let's focus on the formatting for now.  
  
You got the 4 paragraph format correct for this essay discussion. However, you should be informed that there is a 5 sentence maximum sentence requirement for the essay paragraphs. That's no less than 3 and no more than 5. That should be a coherent paragraph that closes with a transition sentence into the next reasoning paragraph but for the last paragraph of the essay, it should be a summary conclusion which covers a recap of the given reasoning paragraphs and topic paraphrase.  
  
I will commend you on your creative paraphrase of the opening statement. Even though it lacks the required 3-5 sentence presentation, it is clear that you understood the topic for discussion and have the ability to restate the discussion without using any memorized phrases, words, or sentences. You delivered a very good discussion of this topic. If you had only stayed within limits, and written a more manageable number of words, this would have been a very high scoring essay. Something I look forward to reading from you next time.
*Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Other believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.*  
  
ESSAY  
  
## Forcing to study some subjects

  
  
Some persist that the freedom for university students to select courses on their own, while others regard useful subjects such as science and technology significantly. Personally, having the freedom to choose what to study and learning useful knowledge from required subjects both seem reasonable to me.  
  
First of all, those who hold the second statement have their sound reasons. A key point lies in the fact that allowing applied subjects can offer necessary human capital for economic growth. Economic and social development, especially in those underdeveloped countries has a huge demand for talents in science and technology. Therefore, university authorities should devote limited financial resources to those required useful subjects as a priority.  
  
On the other hand, people who insist on the first statement also have a strong voice. It can be observed easily that the freedom to choose or interest-oriented study can motivate students' potentials to a fuller extent. Students' interest in a particular field undoubtedly leads to their passion to explore and investigate, which may bring about in this area. Secondly, such freedom is more beneficial to students' all-round development. For instance, art courses cultivate student's taste, math enhances logical thinking and analytical ability, accounting molds patience and carefulness. Some may argue that these benefits are irrelevant to practical skills that the useful or required subjects can bring to students. However, no doubt that practical skills without logic, analytical skills and carefulness may do harm to students' future career.  
  
The discussion cited above demonstrates two viewpoints regarding study orientation o university students. The former focus on the significance of the applied subjects which may provide economic growth and social development. While the latter concerns about the importance of freedom to choose courses which leads to multiple improvements. Thus it is safe to conclude that both statements are both convincing.
Ronia, this is a discussion of 2 public points of view along with your personal point of view. You decided to discuss this essay from a singular point of view alone. Therefore, you created a prompt deviation and as such, will receive a low score for it. When you write a Task 2 essay, you must always follow the discussion instruction provided to you in the original prompt. So that means, if it says; "Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.", you write a 5 paragraph essay covering that discussion. The 3 reasoning paragraphs cover the 2 opposing public points of view and then, the 3rd paragraph discusses your personal opinion based on the evidence presented in the 2 point of view discussion. That is why this essay has performed a prompt deviation that will prevent it from getting a passing score.  
  
Your essay is not truly closed because you created a personal discussion in the last paragraph of your presentation. The closing paragraph should summarize the information provided as a recap or reminder for the reader. It is not supposed to contain new information for the discussion as that constitutes an open ended essay rather than a closed essay.  
  
BTW, please remember the cornerstone rule for writing any of the IELTS essays. The rule of thumb, this is unchangeable and directly affects your scoring potential, is that you should not write less than 3 sentences, no more than 5 sentences, and you should focus on only one topic per paragraph to help increase the scoring possibility of your essay. Clarity in discussion can only be achieved when you develop only one discussion topic per paragraph. It helps to keep the discussion free of clutter and allows it to pay proper attention to the paragraph discussion topic. This in turn helps to increase your overall scoring possibility.
Here is my latest essay on IELTS Writing Task 2. Please be free to leave your feedbacks on my essay. Thanks in advance.  
**Nowadays, some employers think academic qualities are more important than life experience and personal qualities when they choose employees.  
Why does this take place? And is this a negative or positive development?**  
  
## ACADEMIC QUALITIES OR PERSONAL QUALITIES

  
  
In the job of recruitment, it seems common that candidates' academic qualities, rather than their social skills, have increasingly become the primary concern among many employers. While the trend is justifiable to some extent, I would argue that it would do more harm than good in overall.  
  
The explanation behind this trend might involve a notion that job applicants who did well in educational institutions would also perform competently in workplaces. In other words, staffers possessing excellent academic records are believed to be more effective at work than those with ordinary academic performance. Given the fact that many employers tend to rush through things these days to ensure an advantageous position in the face of stiff competition, hence, they would be beneficial as more individuals with outstanding academic qualities are hired for the job.  
  
Although the role of academic qualities in term of staff recruitment is undeniable, this is not a sufficiently sound reason to ignore the importance of character traits and interpersonal skills when it comes to work. To be more specific, personal attributes, such as life experience and social skills, are truly essential in workplaces as they could help finding, attracting and retaining clients for businesses. Given the fact that modern market offers consumers an unlimited number of choices through technologies, hence, customer service is often what influences the choice to use a particular business. Besides, without soft skills, hard skills (academic qualities) alone are not enough to be truly effective. For example, a salesperson with excellent academic knowledge might have little success if he or she does not have the interpersonal skills needed to close deals and retain clients.  
  
In conclusion, while there is an understandable reason for the trend of giving emphasize academic qualities rather than personal qualities, I believe that it would be a negative development in long run.
Can, your opinion about this being a negative development should have been given in the opening paraphrase and restated in the closing summary. Your opening summary is not really accurate in its prompt restatement because you did not offer a direct response to the questions being indicated. This is a direct response essay and as such, you are expected to provide a simple, single sentence response to each question because that will serve as the topic for and outline of your discussion presentation.  
  
In the second paragraph, the following line is incomplete:  
  
*Given the fact that many employers tend to rush through things these days to ensure an advantageous position in the face of stiff competition, hence, they would be beneficial as more individuals with outstanding academic qualities are hired for the job.*  
  
This presentation sounds like it should have had the reasoning sentence before the "Given..." sentence. There is a missing subject in the presentation. It lacks clarity and coherence. In other words, it doesn't make any sense as a part of the paragraph. Additionally, you left the essay as an open ended presentation because, rather than presenting a summary of the discussion, you continued the discussion with an under developed personal opinion. So the essay clearly doesn't come together as an informative presentation.  
  
You should be happy to know thought that your reasoning paragraphs, save for the problematic presentation I quoted above, depicts that you clearly understood the discussion topic and knew how to present your reasoning and supporting elements to a certain degree. Keep that up. It will help you score better in the actual test.
## Fairtrade-labeled products - sale numbers

  
  
The tables below give information about sales of Fairtrade-labeled coffee and bananas in 1999 and 2004 in five Europian countries.  
  
ESSAY  
  
The two tables contain sales data for Fairtrade coffee and banana in 1999 and 2004, in five nations of Europe. Generally, we can observe that UK and Switzerland both play significant roles in sales of Fairtrade coffee and banana in 1999 and 2004.  
  
The first table shows low-level coffee increasing in all five countries, despite the widely varying degrees. In two places sales increased by the same small amount: 1.8-2 million euros in Denmark, and 0.8-1 million euros in Sweden. The growth is slightly larger in Belgium, from 1-1.7 million euros. Meanwhile, the sales in Switzerland doubles, from 3-6 euros. Finally, in the UK there was an enormous increase, from 1.5-20 million euros.  
  
In the second table, it is Switzerland which stands in the first place buying for more Fairtrade bananas than the other four countries. Sales figures of Switzerland burst from 15-47 euros across these five years, while in the UK and Belgium sales only grew from 1-5.5 and from 0.6-4 million euros respectively. Sweden and Denmark showed a different pattern, which decreased in banana sales from 1.8-1 and 2-0.9 million euros.  
  
Comparing the two tables, it is clear that in 1999 Fairtrade coffee sales ranged from 0.8-3 million euros in these five countries, while banana sales also mostly between 0.6-2 million euros, with Switzerland at a huge 15 million euros. By 2004, sales figures for both products had risen across the board, Sweden and Denmark which dropped in banana sales.  
  
* 
*
according to my experience in IELTS preparation test,  
the first thing that you can do is paraphrasing the table  
second, try to describe the overall statement or the key thing in the table that makes it outstanding. for Example : Swizerland produced the highest number of bananas.  
  
Second paragraph you can mentioned something that stands out in table one  
Third Paragraph you did the same thing like in the second paragraph but as in table two.  
Fourth, you came into conclusion.  
  
Nevertheless, this is based on my knowledge. I believe people have different style in writting.  
you will achieve a good score in writing s long as you communicate the tables efficiently and showed varied vocabulary and grammar.
Please help me check and correct this essay. Thank you very much  
  
## the amount of oil consumed in the world

  
  
The line graph illustrates how oil was consumed per day by 4 different areas between 2009 and 2030.  
Overall, after 2015, oil consumption in Western Europe/Japan and the US is predicted to decline, by contrast to expected increase in China and the Middle East. In addition, the US will remain the major consumer throughout the period.  
  
In 2009, US is a place in which used the largest amount of oil, at about 10 million barrels per day. The figure for Western Europe/Japan was considerable lower at 4 million and just around 2 million barrels in China and Middle East. By 2015, there was a stable fell in oil consumption in US and Western Europe/Japan, while consumption increased in China and Middle East.  
  
By 2030, the amount of oil consumed per day in the US is projected to decline rapidly, from 10 million barrels in 2009 to only about 4 million barrels, It is still higher than that of the other areas. Similar to the figure for Western Europe and Japan, It is expected to remain stable reduction, at just above 2 million. In contrast, there is a prediction that the number of barrels of oil consumed daily in China and Middle East will go up to approximately 3 million barrels per day.  
  
*
i think u should watch out in using advert as ' considerably lower' instead of ' considerable lower' or add 'gradually' ( increased gradually in China...). secondly, in 2015, consumption oil in US dropped noticeably, not stably. at the line chart, i see that US and Western Europe/Japan had different consumption decreases in 2015  
  
it means that u analysed in a wrong way.  
  
So bad to say that i feel disappointed bc of your essay. read more and learn a lot from other essays!!!
Tien, the main problem you will have with this essay is that your GRA score will be failing and as such, you will not be able to produce enough of a scoring consideration in the remaining parts to pull your final score up to at least a passing score. Your constant difficulty with time frame references make this essay extremely stressful to read. You use past tense references for both the past and future tense presentations. This shows a very low understanding of how to compose English sentences and creates a difficult to understand paragraph. That means the C&C score for your essay will also be reduced along with the GRA score for your sentence structures. You won't have too much of a problem with regards to your vocabulary and TA sections but then, it won't matter because you already failed everything else.  
  
In addition to that, your summary overview is missing a few important elements such as the names of the 4 countries, the type of measurement used, and years indicated. Finally, you forgot to compare the overlapping points in the line graph which indicate points where oil consumption would be the same for all 4 nations. That is important because these illustrations always ask the writer to "make comparisons where applicable" and you failed to do that.  
  
Good work on the trending statement though. That is the one part you got right in this essay.
Hi, I am practicing for my IELTS test. Any feedback will be highly appreciated!  
  
## bigger salary for the society workers

  
  
**Write about the following topic:  
Some people feel that certain workers like nurses, doctors and teachers are undervalued and should be paid more, especially when other people like film actors or company bosses are paid huge sums of money that are out of proportion to the importance of the work that they do.  
  
-How far do you agree?  
-What criteria should be used to decide how much people are paid?**  
  
Some people argue that it is unfair that despite the importance of their work for society, nurses, doctors and teachers do not earn a lot of money while many film actors and company bosses life in great luxury. Overall, I conform to this statement for numerous reasons.  
  
First of all, I agree that nurses as well as teachers are largely underpaid. Nurses, in particular, work incredibly hard and often do not even make enough money to feed their families. This is unfair because their work, just like that of teachers and doctors, is invaluable to our society. I think that health and education fundamental aspects of our lives and people who work in these fields should be appreciated very highly.  
  
That being said, I think that it is important to point out that doctors, at least in my home country Germany, are paid really well. I do by no means want to claim that this is unjust and that doctors should be paid less, I just want to emphasize that there is a large pay-gap between doctors and nurses which is astonishing, considering the fact that they often do a lot of similar work.  
  
To sum this up, while I do not think that doctors are part of this category, I agree with the statement above in that certain jobs in our society are largely underpaid, especially in comparison to celebrities or people working in the economy. Hence, I think that it would be a good idea if the government of a country would consider the societal importance or welfare of a job when it decides how much people working in a certain field should be paid. If, for example, the wages for nurses were increased, this would be a large incentive for more people to work in this job. This, in turn, would be very beneficial for the country as a whole because at least in Germany, we currently do not have enough people who are interested in working in this field.  
  
However, even though I think that the societal impact of a job is a criterion that should be taken into account when decisions about wages are made, I realize that the popularity of an actor or the success of a company CEO are also important factors that cannot be neglected. While these latter factors are taken into account more or less automatically on the economic market, however, I think that the government of a country should pay specific attention to the former factor.  
  
Therefore, all in all, I think that people and I think that a government should take the societal impact of a job into account when deciding how much people are paid. This could balance out the current underpayment of people working in certain fields, such as nurses or teachers.
Antonia, and IELTS Task 2 essay is composed of a maximum of 5 paragraphs with 3-5 sentences within each paragraph. That is the standard for writing based on the type of prompt you are provided. For this prompt, you are expected to present 4 paragraphs composed of:  
  
1. Prompt restatement  
2. Extent of agreement or disagreement  
3. Criteria for paying people  
4. Concluding paraphrase / summary  
  
Based on the above criteria, you can immediately tell that your essay goes beyond the borders of the requirements in terms of number of paragraphs presented. You also need to present a uniform 3-5 sentence paragraph that omits the use of run-on or long sentences. Both of these mistakes tend to immensely lower your score due to presentation problems and errors.  
  
Your prompt paraphrase would have been correct if you had provided the measurement of your agreement with the statement and also, a direct response with regards to the criteria question. Remember, if it is directly asked in the prompt, then you should give a direct response in the paraphrase unless you are writing a public opinion plus personal opinion based essay.  
  
While your discussion is very good, you missed the mark because of the length of your essay. Try to practice writing using a timer. Set the timer before you even read the prompt, then start writing. You will find that there is no way you can write 6 paragraphs within the allotted time and still have a few minutes to spare for proofreading and editing, which are very important to your presentation.  
  
This is a good effort on your part but you still need a lot of practice runs before you can reach the level of an intermediate IELTS writer. I am confident that you can get there though because of the degree of intelligence that you show in your writing skills. Remember, when writing the Task 2 essay, don't over discuss it. Just respond directly to the questions in a simple paragraph format.
*TOEFL iBT Task 2: What is your approach to problem-solving, and how does it work for you? Use specific details to support your response.*  
  
## My approach to problem solving

  
  
Every single individual must have a problem in his/her life. As I grow up, the problems are becoming more complex, and I am pushed to be wiser in looking for the solutions. I believe that solving a problem is one of the maturity process in life cycle. In this essay I will share on how I try to solve any problems I have faced.  
  
Sometimes I got panicked easily when a problem suddenly comes to my life. In the beginning, I could not hold my tears not to fall. However, I realized that it was one of ways to release my emotion. Having emotion-released, I usually took a deep breath and try to think clearer. In the process of problem-solving, I have to know first what is the problem and what is the main cause of that issue. For example, if I fail on my examination grade which is far enough from the minimum standard from university, I have to figure out why this could happened. Is it because of my fallacious understanding of the subject, or is it because of the invalid questions of the test. When I arrived at the main cause, then I can turn to concrete solutions. If I have a wrong understanding, requesting an additional discussion with a lecturer might be a best solution to be applied.  
  
On the process of problem solving, I should also assess whether I could find the solution by myself or I need other's assistance. Some problems might be a personal thing that should be kept privately. Meanwhile, there are problems that we could not afford to keep it by ourselves. In this latter issue, I prefer to consult with another people who I trust the most. For example, when I have a relationship problem, I would like to ask my bestfriend or my sister to help me find the way to solve the issue. In my opinion, some helps are also able to keep our mental clarity.  
  
In conclusion, in solving the problem, I would like to release my emotion first, then find out what is the main cause of the problem. Therefore, we could find the best solution to solve any problems that come to our life. It is also good to ask help from the trusted people in finding the solution.  
  
Word count : 384
Nuradia, the essay is asking "What is your approach to problem-solving...". This essay should have been approached from a present tense type of discussion because you are being asked to tell the reader how you do it, at present hence the follow-up question "How does it work for you?" You walk us through the process as you would if you were doing it at that very moment in time. You don't go to the past, you don't go to the future. You stay in the moment. I think this problem occurred because you were not conscious that the essays have a time frame reference when you are writing it. That is part of your grammar and sentence proficiency. Know if you are being asked to present a previous statement, a present statement, or a future statement. Normally, you have to speak in the present tense for all these essays.