dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
According to current official reports , approximately 522 inhabitants died due to this tragedy~~; moreover, it is~~, not included theincluding a number of victims ...  
  
Though the Haitians experienced the worst hardship since ...  
Although the Haitians experienced the worst hardship since they lost their family members and possessions, most of them still did the worship in ruined Churches to praise their salvation.  
  
In addition, The authority estimated at least 350,000 Haitians needed aid**whilst**the biggest threat came from cholera disease. <<< not opposing statement.  
In addition, the authority estimated that at least 350,000 Haitians needed intensive aid, particularly those who suffered cholera which was the biggest threat at that time.
The history of band music performance started to a legendary band in England, The Sex Pistols begin its performance in 4 June 1976, Manchester Hall. Now, this performance has been peak up to rank one all the time. However it not the band but the spectators made the exhibition famous. A counter culture rock music spilled out from these. The band had influenced many kinds music today such as punk, ska, hardcore, grunge, etc. To connect those complex relations all band, a researcher looked by the poster on a circuit board from a transistor radio namely music-mapping print. As a result, firstly, researcher used symbolic code commercially available transistor radio it came out in 1954 then manifested into poster form and frozen in time. Secondly, the music mapping used musical connections to identify listening recommendations. Those between band types and layers between legends like The Clash and Television-are delightfully easy to find this music map.
Hi Pha2016..  
Let me give you some advice...  
  
... performance started ~~to~~from a legendary (...), The Sex Pistols,~~begin~~began its performance in 4thof June 1976 (or you could write June 4th 1976 , in Manchester Hall.  
  
... has been peak up to first rank ~~one~~ all the time. However it not the band but the spectators made the exhibition famous.(you should make a clear sentence, I could not get the point  
  
Good Job.  
I hope It is helpful..
The history of band music performance started to ...  
*The history of band music performance dates back to 4 June 1976 when The Sex Pistols, a legendary band in England, performed in Manchester Hall.*  
  
Now, this performance has been peak up to rank one all the time. However it not the band ...  
*Thanks to its spectators, this band's popularity hits the top now.*  
  
... influenced many kinds *of* music today such ...  
  
To connect those complex relations to all bands , a researcher looked by[?] the poster on a ...  
  
As a result,(Improper cohesive device; this is not a consequence) firstly, researcher used symbolic ...
Several kind of animals do migration, the regular movement from one place to another place in order to holding out their life. Bird migration particularly draws much attention to the observer for century. Through migration, it can be seen how each species responds to develop and spread out into ecological niche that can provide the possible conditions to breed and raise young.  
  
During the warm season, birds commonly travel to higher latitudes of the Northern Hemisphere that has optimal environment to breed, meanwhile during the non-breeding season they come back to lowest latitudes. Seabirds species are the only one that has different route migration to the higher latitudes of Southern Hemisphere to breed. Many species of migratory birds like arctic tern who flies 24,000 miles during migration, have trans-equatorial route, while they live at arctic regions in Northern Hemisphere during breeding season and spend the rest of the year at antarctic waters in the Southern Hemisphere. A ptarmigan, a form of arctic grouse, only have small distance migration who spend breeding season on arctic peaks and the winter season in neighboring valleys, and suffer patiently from coldest conditions.  
  
During migration, Birds have different length of their ability to fly each day, it is more likely about six to eight hours and some birds undertake much longer from that depend on geographic feature in their route. Recently, researcher discovered about bird migratory navigation that drive them to specific destination. For nocturnal bird, which travel at night, use stars as their navigation but diurnal birds which travel at the day, use sun and geographic features as their navigation. Birds is predicted that has sense of time because they use sun and stars that move constantly at twenty-four hours.
*aloha, here are my thoughts;*  
  
- Several ~~kind~~kinds(several+plural noun) of animals do migration, ...  
-a Bird migration (...) attention to the observers for this century.  
- ... responds to develop and spreads out into ecological niche ...  
  
- ... of the Northern Hemisphere ~~that has~~having(reducing adjective clause) optimal environment to ...  
- ~~Seabirds~~ seabird species are the only one ~~that has~~having different route of migration to the higher ...  
- ... birds like arctic tern ~~who flies~~flying 24,000 miles (...), while ~~they live~~living at arctic regions (...) breeding season and spending the rest of the year at ...  
  
*I hope it can be helpful for your improvement*
**Ted 1 ideas worth dating**  
  
A 45-year-old white man was trying to uncover a number of ideas which will be match with his character, he would like to create a connection with the human being out of his comfort zone, home. He then searched them in ted sites and happily found some people who he thought will have appropriate visions with him. Firstly, he met a gardener, Ron Finley who believes that people should farm their own foods to get a healthy food, because food is the problem but food is also the solution. Then he moved to meet Eric McKean - a dictionary editor- who has a responsibility to put as much words into the dictionary. Next, he arranged a schedule to meet Beau lotto, who shared his views about the reality, in his opinion, human has no an access to discover the reality, even human has a perfect sensory information such as eyes and ears. He also spent time with a primatologist who said that Bonobos is a frequent imaging conflict and social issues. Then Jane McGonigal thinks that we have to show an epic mimic on our faces, which will show a positive energy, because you never know the upsides of your self until you did it. After that he met a mathemagician who told that math is not only a case of finding what is an X, but also to figure the reason. Lastly, he came to a vocalist and comedian place named Reggi, he explained that we have to make a decision to choose and continue our lives, because without decision we have no power, powerless means no change we will have.
Helo rosa,  
hope you doing well  
well, you've done graet (great), yet lemme give you some suggestion  
  
==> A 45-year-old white man ~~was trying~~(tried) to uncover (...) which will be match(ed) with his character, (...) out of his comfort zone (as) home.  
  
... people who he though~~t~~ will have appropriate (his) visions ~~with him~~ .  
==> .., Ron Finley (the one ) who believes that (...), because (since) (the) food ~~is~~(gives)~~the~~(any) problem but food ~~is~~ also the solution, (Even though foods give some trouble but foods also be a solution) .  
  
==> Then he ~~moved~~(came) to meet Eric McKean - a dictionary editor- who (...) to put as much (many) words into the dictionary.  
==> .., in his opinion, (a) human has  
===> ... decision we have no power(which means)powerless means no change we will have (we cannot (change anything) .  
  
Good luck and keep writing :)
Logging has serious damage to natural environment such as habitat loss, pollution and climate. However, the cutting down trees for commercial use includes shipping crates to paper bags gives impacts to worldwide rain-forest, from Central Africa, Southern Asia and South America to the Northern forest of Canada and Scandinavia. Actually, Plants lose their nutrients, water, and shelter, animal and microbial vanish from natural habitat are intact effects from deforestation.  
  
Trees play important role in existence of rain-forest, particularly for other organism that relies on forest. Small mammals, insects, worms, reptiles, and amphibians who lived in rain-forest floor, dense canopy of branches and leaves has benefit to them to intercept heavy rainfall. Erosion also can be avoided by tree roots, it maintain the soil so a healthy soil can give contribution to tree growth through root development and microbial activity. Building a road is the most responsible factor in soil damage. Trucks and heavy equipment make furrows where water collects because they compress the spongy soil and disrupt water flow in the underground.  
  
Aquatic habitat also experienced the impact from logging. Cutting down trees removes advantage from vegetation along river and stream banks role as the stabilizer steady water flows. Both of them worked by blocking the entry of soil and other residue while growth of alga is prevented by tree shade. If that role could not play well, it can make oxygen depletion in the water that could kill fish and other wildlife.  
  
The other important from tree existence is their role as natural defender against air pollution that their leaves as a filter pollutant. They produce oxygen by removing carbon dioxide. If the trees disappear so the pollutant still exist in the atmosphere. Water vapor and pollutant form acid rain. About one-fifth of carbon dioxide emission in the world are impacts from deforestation that give massive contributions to global warming. It also affects the weather in particular, such as rainfall patterns and even forest fires. If logging practices environmentally, it could protect forest which has vital role as natural resource and habitat for huge number of living things to our young generation.
Alan Siegel in his speech on TED talked that today government was complexity responsible which run a 16 pages constitutions where took at 2,074 pages and more than 400,000 words to present into senate. He explained the simple things achieving this about transparency and empathy in building of humanity and communication. Siegel as keynote speaker on this session as capacity in businessmen. Had been developed design business and focus a new people and interactive with others such as the government, people and business for long years ago. He explained to be more simple it how to organize the legal document to check and re-check. He said that Obama always have time to correct and all important document. Moreover Siegel explained about changing the content that he proud about date, calendar for large company as IBM. IBM have responsibility in business. Along his speech He cited many data from statistic, for example 1 in 10 taxpayers received a notice or letter from IRS, a business organization in America. In the last, he had quotation from former president, Thomas Jefferson which said when the subject is strong, simplicity is the only way to treat it. It was meant agency or organization to make clarity, transparency, simplicity and national priority.  
  
Source: TED
Hi, pha. Here are my thoughts  
  
... talked that today government ~~was complexity responsible~~ has complex responsibility which runs~~a~~ 16 pages of constitutions where took at ...  
  
He explained the simple things ~~achieving~~to achieve this about transparency ...  
  
Siegel is as keynote speaker on ...  
  
Had been developed design business and focus a new people and interactive with others such ...  
To be honest, I am confused with this sentence  
  
He explained to ~~be more simple~~simplify it how to organize the ...  
  
He said that Obama always ~~have~~has time to correct ~~and~~ all important document.  
  
... changing the content that he is proud about date, ...  
IBM ~~have~~has responsibility in business.  
  
Thomas Jefferson ~~which~~who said when the ...  
  
That's it, i wish it could be useful.  
Best Regards
**ENVIRONMENTAL IMPACTS OF LOGGING**  
  
There are many industries that have to cut down the trees to fulfill their materials for producing. Nevertheless, this step will be a bad effects and become enviromental problems for others life. The environmental problems; such as habitat loss, damage of air and water, and the change on general weather conditions; will be affected to other ecosystems because they cutting down a slot of trees.  
  
Trees are become a home for many plants to protect them from rainfall and makes them to stay healthy. Tree roots also maintain the soil to keep it from erosion. The main factors of logging-related soil issue comes from the industrialized activity. Not only animals and plants that feels the impact, but fish and other ecosymstems that living in the water will be affected too. When the erosion flows into the rivers or streams, the natural matter inside it devours more oxygen, which can prompt oxygen exhaustion in the water, killing fish and others life.  
  
Trees are a natural protection againts air pollution, which they can remove carbon dioxide and change it with oxygen and become a filter pollutants. With a healthy ecosystem, the soil will moisturized by the trees and move it into the atmosphere when they give shade to diminish vaporization. In this way, deforestration by some companies influences precipitation scheme, prompting flooding and in addition dry spell and backwoods fires.  
  
Forests are an indispensable common reesource with broad biodiversity and incomparable wildlife living spaces. More capable logging practices would guarantee that they are ensured for future life.
Hi Goldvina..  
Your writing is increadible.  
Let me give you some advice...  
  
Trees ~~are~~ become a home for many plants ...  
  
... againts air pollution, which as a filter pollutants, they can remove (...) change it with oxygen ~~and become a filter pollutants~~ .  
... the soil will ~~moistured~~ moisturize by the trees ...  
  
Good Job.  
I hope it is helpful
Nowadays, the number of people talks about the aging and it is sensitive matter for most of them. However, no one discusses about telomere which has a significant contribution in the aging process. Telomere is a part of chromosome which contains protein. It pertains to our ages as the growth of telomere is going to reduce in the long run. The expansion of telomere is affected by environmental condition and stress. A recent study outlines that bad experiences of childhood are able to disturb telomere growth causing premature aging, while other studies showed that the economical problems interfere the telomere growth in both childhood and adulthood. In addition, horrible experience in social life also retard 8 percent of telomere development in childhood and it is able to increase to 11 % when someone has been adult. Most of the time, children do not want to tell their stress having been experienced. Thus, it may be able to change their gene expression permanently.
**The danger of Silent (TED Summary)**  
  
Nowadays, most of people use their voice to telling people the things they wanted to hear instead of the things they needed to. Therefore most of problems in this world caused by silence such as discrimination, war, genocide, and other violence. We need to explore our silences through something, such as poetry. Therefore we can recognize silence, to name them, and to understand that silence is have not to be sources of shame. There are four core principles to distribute our silence into poetry, they are read critically, write consciously, speak clearly, and then tell your truth. Therefore, we can fight the silence to reach a truly freedom.  
  
by Clint Smith  
Source: TED
Hello Fauzan,  
  
Nowadays, most of people use their voice to tell~~ing~~ people the things that they wanted to hear instead of the things they needed to.  
  
Therefore (you may change this transition with another such, on the other hand ) we can recognize silence, ~~to~~as name them, and ~~to~~ understand that silence is have not to be sources of shame.  
  
~~Therefore~~FINALLY , we can fight the silence to reach a truly freedom.  
  
hope these help
Nowadays, most of people use their voice to telling people the things they wanted to hear instead of the things they needed to.  
*1. most people --> unspecified group; most of the people who .....--> for specified group  
2. use their voice to tell others  
3. present tense --> a fact nowadays (they want to hear)*  
  
Therefore most of problems in this world caused by silence such as discrimination, war, genocide, and other violence.  
*my suggestion for better cohesion: "This case triggered silence which becomes the most common cause of global problems, such as discrimination, war, and genocide."*  
  
Therefore**,** we can recognize silence, ~~to~~name them, and ~~to~~ understand that silence **is have**not to be sources of shame.  
*...silence must not be a source of shame.*  
  
*....to reach a true fredom.*
If it possible,could you help me to correct my essay?Thank you very much.  
  
The given graph shows variation of the growing rate of the economic between 1995 and 2010.The pie charts give information about the proportion of household spending.Seen together,there seems to be a link between the two tiems.  
  
It can be seen from the line graph that the growth of economic began at nearly 0.2 percent in 1995 and then fluctuated around 1 to 2 percent during the seven-year intervals.Follwing the fluctuation,it trended up dramatically and climbed to the top point at roughly 4 per cent.However,It had fallen sharply after the peaking and bottomed out nearly -5 per cent in 2008.Since then it had recovered and reached back to 0.2 per cent.  
  
Over the same period,the pie charts of household expense shows some features related with the economic growth.The spending on housing and food made up the main parts of the total in all the four individual pies;the two shared the least in 2000 and 2005,respectively.Compared with the essential cost for living,the expenditure of clothing,entertainment,and travel,made up three moderate parts over the time;the sum of them increased in 2005 during the economic growing period.Then the expense of the three cut from nearly 1/4 in 2005 to less than 1/4 in 2010.  
  
*   
*pictures from the Writing for the IELTS*
Hello Killua,  
Here some inputs for you.  
  
The ~~given~~*line* graph shows (...) of the economic *during a 15-year period* between 1995 and 2010. The pie charts give information about ... Seen together, there seems to be a link between the two~~tiems.~~*items**Overall it can be clearly seen that* the highest point of ...  
  
In any case, the majority household expense was for housing.[/i] *better if you write an overview by more specific and focus on the outstanding trends*  
  
~~.Follwing~~*Following* the fluctuation,(...) point at roughly 4 ~~per cent~~*percent*.  
  
... charts of household expense show~~s~~ some features ...  
  
**Good Luck!**
... it stimulates people to contact ~~with~~ each other ~~more~~ . However, some others may take an opposite ...  
... media has lots of benefits ~~and~~ if ~~people~~they (avoid repetition ) can manage their time, it will help ~~people~~ them to be more ...  
  
.., for instance, ~~one~~ spending more time on it.  
... an example I can contact ~~with~~ many friends around the world~~s~~ with social media. ~~Although~~ even though I leave alone (...) due to new technologies which ~~may~~ is not be available before.  
  
**Note  
This essay , is very well supported, but it is better if the point of view is supported by another subject instead self experience**  
  
Good luck  
Best Regard  
Ifan
Hi,leldredge,nice to see your essay.Here are some corrections for you,hope these may help you.  
  
Everyone has heard ~~the stereotype~~ about ~~sisters~~/sisterhood/sister-bond , and how ~~they~~some sisters always fight and never get along with each other .  
However, my sisters Katie and Courtney, hardly do they ever fight or argue.  
In fact,seeing them always singing and laughing together makes me feel their bonds.  
Also, (...)
The pie charts present the information about the percentages of online sales through different retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013. According to the charts, there were four sectors : travel, film and music, clothes and book. Overall, it can be seen that there was significant changes in their proportion of online market.  
  
To begin, in 2013, Travel sector addressed for the majority of online trades at 36%, but this percentage had declined to 29% in 2013. During the same period, as a dramatic rise people had tendency to purchase film and music through online market while the transaction jumped from just 21% to 33%, making film and music sector with the largest proportion of the whole online sales in 2013.  
  
By 2013, clothes hold an admirable 24% of the whole online sales proportion in New Zealand. However, the figure had dropped sharply to 16% in 2013. Interestingly, online sales of books eventually overtook sales of clothes although clothes still captured only 22% of the market.  
  
*
hai sasariri  
it is nice to read your writing  
I have some advice for you  
I hope it help to improve your writing skill  
  
The pie charts present the information about the percentages of ...  
  
*let me help you to paraphrase the instruction*  
**The pie chart gives information about an alteration in percentages of trading activities with access to the internet for different retail aspects in New Zealand in one decade.**  
  
~~According to the charts,~~ <<<< **do not repeat previous sentence**  
there were four sectors ~~:~~consists of travel, film and ...  
  
Overall, it can be seen that ~~there was significant changes in their proportion of online market.~~ <<< it is too general  
**travel led online sales, but books take place in the bottom rank in 2003. On the other hand, ten years later, film take place in the first rank, but clothes stand in the last position.**  
  
~~To begin,~~ in 2013, Travel sector addressed for ...  
During the same period, it as a dramatic rise (...) transaction jumped from ~~just~~ 21% to 33%,  
  
I think it is enough  
thanks
Hi blizzard49..  
Let me give you some advice..  
  
~~Before~~Recently I lived in Canada, but I was born in South Korea. I had ~~so~~~~many~~admirable memories in my ~~home country~~hometown because I had friends (...) when we had chanc, so leaving my friends,~~and~~I moved to ~~the~~ Canada,I was quite difficult. ~~The reason~~ we ~~have~~ had to move to ~~the~~ Canada because~~was~~ my parents business did (...); our family moved ~~home~~ to Canada. Leaving ~~the~~ South Korea was sad yet although I was quite excited because I was only able to see ~~the~~ Canada ~~with~~through television and books and when I ~~think~~thought about I'm going to see ...  
  
I hope It is helpful..