dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
Every problem has its way to be solved. In this recent decade, the number of childhood death experiences a decrease. The predominant factor that brings this number get lower is related with the increase in income, so that the vaccines can be used globally. Concern with this issue, there is also a question of how to stop the deadly disease that is spread by mosquitoes? Answering this question, there are several ways that people generally do, such as get the bed nets, use spray with DDT, and treat the patients with quinine. This kind of thing can cut deaths by over 50 percent, but the most significant way in order to get rid of this problem is we need the cooperation from scientists and drug companies.  
  
Moreover, talking about education, if we want to make a good education, the key point is by having a great teacher. Also in learning system, everybody needs to be involved. All in all, invest in education is the most important matter to have a strong future of the country.
~~the number of childhood death experiences a decrease~~  
I think that you mean that children die less often. So you would replace that sentence with " infant mortality rates have decreased " or" infant mortality rates are decreasing"  
  
that brings this number get lower is related  
can be replaced with " leading to this decrease relates "  
  
a lot of the words in your essay do not make sense so I would advise you to revise it , understanding it as though you were the reader.  
  
Try editing it and adding my hashtag so that I can review it and see if it fits in the ears of a reader.
Hi Dila, I believe this is my first review of your essay and I hope it is helpful to your revision.  
  
- ~~experiences~~experienced a decrease.  
- ~~get lower~~down is related ~~with~~to the increase ~~in~~of income,  
- ~~Answering this question~~To tackle this issue ,  
- such as ~~get th~~using e bed nets,  
- ~~use~~using spray with DDT ( what is DDT, you have to make sure that when you abbreviate, you have to put the meaning of the abbreviated word ) ,  
  
- This kind of ~~thing~~solution can cut  
- ~~in order~~ to get rid of this problem  
- ~~is we need the cooperation from scientists and drug companies~~is to be more cooperative with the health department and take part to clean up and keep ourselves organized and be sanitary at all times. .  
  
There you have it Dila, as you can see there's still quiet a lot of work to be done in your summary essay, this is focused on the association of your words in the sentences and I hope you follow through with the corrections.
A group of students from Newcastle in the UK are attempting to combine electronic engineering and synthetic biology to create a light bulb. The bulb is meant to switch on when the bacteria experience heat stress from a miniature microbial fuel cell which is a device that acts as a battery by harnessing electrical energy from the action of microbes. They also designed a circuit to connect the bulb and the power source in the hopes of creating a kit that can snap together as easily as a Lego set.  
  
The project will debut in International Genetically Engineering Machine competition, an annual global competition that ends in a synthetic biology science fair called the Giant Jamboree. Although they failed to get the fuel cell to activate the lightbulb in the final round of testing, team member ollie Burton says the main goal is to create a toolkit that will encourage others to build on the idea.
**Psychologists have known for many years that colour can affect how people feel. For this reason, attention should be given to colour schemes when decorating place such as office and hospitals.  
  
How true is this statement?  
How far does colour influence people's health and capacity for work?**  
  
It is generally believed that colour has significant influence in people mood. This is true as the evidence of appropriate colour can result in comfort and motivation. I personally believe that the power of colour may help people to get recovery faster than they should be and also it supports employees to increase their performances at work.  
  
Since the invention of modern technique to produce chemical colour of purple, most patients' room in the hospitals have been designed in purple schemes. This is due to the fact that purple has healed power. In the earlier time of 1990s, a chemistry study on Cambridge University pointed out that many patients in purple-designed room left the hospital bed faster than those lied out in other coloured rooms. Comfortable atmosphere in their hospitable room has helped them thinking positively so that their mental health support their body getting well in shorter time than what it is expected before.  
  
In addition, high-motivated colour like red and orange has been considered by many food companies as their main scheme. Warmer colour tends to serve higher spirit and more happiness. Chines people who have known as remarkable businessmen are more likely to decorate their home or work place with many red ornaments, which is believed to bring more luck for them. Moreover, it has proven by a research conducted by Prof. Lee from Hong Kong University that red can serve high level of encouragement for most people. Therefore, it is inevitable that colour is also able to increase worker performance.  
  
In conclusion, every kind of colour has psychological effects on feeling of most people, so it should help some who need to be healed or others who want to get external motivation. It is supposed to be better if colour scheme becomes an important factor to install in a certain room or building.
Hi sari I has opinion on the content of your writing  
when decorating ~~place~~ ( places) such as office and hospitals  
Since the invention of ~~modern~~ technique to produce ~~chemical~~ ( a chemical or the chemical )colour of purple, most patients' room in the hospitals ~~have~~ ( has ) been designed in purple schemes.  
  
In the earlier time of ~~1990s~~ ( the 1990s), a chemistry study on (...) that many patients in ~~purple-designed~~ ( the purple-designed or a purple-designed)room left (...) faster than those ~~lied~~ ( lived) out in other coloured rooms.  
  
... getting well in ~~shorter~~ ( the shorter ) time than ...  
... to decorate their home or ~~work place~~ ( workplace) with many red ornaments...  
... has psychological effects on ~~feeling~~ ( the feeling) of most people,  
  
Keep Writing and be IELTS Warrior
***Restriction air travel is the only way to prevent air pollution. Do you agree or disagree?***  
  
Over the years, an issue dealing with air pollution has been emerging. A number of individuals argue that one way to overcome this problem is by diminishing air travels. Although some people believe that sky trip should be decreased for vilification, this is not the best solution.  
  
Those that support the declension of air traffic believe that this will result in a reduction number of trips and thus solve the problem of pollution. It is because large number of aircraft in sky can produce and expel a lot of fuel. As a result, it can blight the fresh atmosphere in air. Proponent of this solution believes that reducing proportion of sky travel is fair because the minister of communication or transportation should not only subtract the use of vehicles in land but they also need to make a policy to diminish the total of airplane trade.  
  
However, there are a number of reasons why this is not the right course of action. Firstly, the main cause of air pollution is coming from internal combustion of factories. Most of companies do not control their smoke expending that potentially contaminates a natural environment. Secondly, the key cause of air pollution is forest fire. The results of this ignition are very harmful for human population. Inhabitants tend to inhale bad atmosphere because the air space has been damaged by smog, thus it gives impact on serious disease. As the reasons, there is no doubt that those both cases should be considered to keep down air pollution.  
  
To sum up, it is evident that introducing the restriction air travel is not workable. If we continue to explore alternatives, we can continue to prevent the air pollution.
Although some people believe that the sky trip should be...  
... number of aircraft in the sky can produce...  
... the fresh atmosphere in the air.  
... reducing proportion of the sky travel is fair (...) the use of vehicles ~~in~~on the land but  
Most of the companies do not control...  
  
Hi, there, it's a good essay. But I think you should focus how to use "the/an/a" in your writing. "The" is like "this/that/these/those", while "a/an" is like "one".
Hallo Ucha i have opinion with yours writing  
It is because a large number of aircraft in the sky can produce and ...  
... the fresh atmosphere the air. A p roponent of this solution believes that reducing the proportion of sky travel is fair ...  
... the use of vehicles in the land but they also ...  
... pollution is coming from the internal combustion of factories.  
Most of the companies do not control their smoke expa nding that potentially ...  
... cause of air pollution is (a forest or the forest) fire.  
... are very harmful ~~for~~tothe human population.  
  
Keep writing and always be IELTS Warrior.
Hi Sman, I believe this is the first time I will review your essay and just like everyone here in the Essay Forum Team, I hope my suggestions are valuable to your revision.  
  
First paragraph  
- Over the years, ~~an issue~~ dealing with air pollution  
- has been ~~emerging~~a pressing issue .  
- that ~~sky trip~~air transportation should be decreased  
  
- in a reduction of the number of trips,  
- ~~and~~ thus solve the problem of air pollution.  
- It is because a large number of aircraft  
- in the sky can produce ...  
- ... believes that reducing the proportion  
- ~~should~~will not only subtract ...  
- in the land but they also  
- need to make a policy to totally diminish the ~~total of airplane~~aeronautical trade.  
  
There you have it Sman, for future writing reference, I suggest that you stick to simple words that you associate in your sentences as this will have an impact to the person reading your essay. I hope this insights and suggestions help.
***Some people say that in the modern world, it is very difficult for people to have a healthy lifestyle. Others, however, say that it is easy for people to be healthy and fit if they want to be.  
  
Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion.***  
  
In the modern world, we compete each other to grab the level of success. Working hard is also one of the tools to get it, which sometimes forget our way of keep healthy. There is an opinion that it is very difficult to maintain our healthy lifestyle when the others believe that it is easy to live healthily.  
  
Busy work is the main cause why people forget to be a healthy person. In fact, 50 percent of workers in Indonesia did not take an exercise almost one year behind. They only focus on their job and they abandoned their healthy lifestyle in order to keep their performance. Next cause is that there is no knowledge of being healthy. They do not know how to make the good meal and too lazy to start a new lifestyle.  
  
However, having a healthy lifestyle can be easy for the ones who want to it. Living in the modern can also accelerate our transform. Today, the internet is the modern platform that can teach ourselves. It can provide the information about how to be a healthy person in just a few steps. They can also allocate their time to do some exercise which is an effective way to maintain their health.  
  
All in all, I believe that living in the modern era as the millennial generation provides some benefits and also drawbacks at the same time, especially in the healthy lifestyle. Although we are living in this are when there are many competitions to grab our success and sometimes our healthy lifestyle is forgotten, we can maximally exploit the technology as the tools for maintaining our health. All we need is our willingness because to be a healthy person starts by you.  
  
(286 Words)
Next cause --> you should use more coherence words such as In addition, moreover (maybe it would make your essay more academic)  
They do not know how to make the good meal --> they don't have enough time to prepare their meals  
Working hard is also one of the tools to get it --> maybe you can change the word 'tools' into ways or manners  
did not take an exercise --> have lack of exercise  
  
in my opinion, your essay would be great if you use more academic vocabularies
**Happy People Make Their Spouses Healthier**  
  
Happiness related to physical well being. The individuals who are happier usually also healthier and less physical problem. At the moment individuals fell good, they tend to be more active. Related with this, a new study reveals that the happy people have a great sense to cheer their spouse up. The people whose spouses are happier have predominant factor to have better in shape. Data confirm that people with a happy spouse are 34% more likely to be healthy.  
  
There are several reasons why a happy person has the possibility to improve their partner's health. Firstly, it is because a happy partner has a number of positive energy to take care the significant others. Secondly, happiness correlates with better diet, routine exercise, and a good quality of sleep, it also leads the individuals stay away from self-destructive behavior. Thirdly, of course the happy people will make their partner's life easier by enjoying all the activities that they have.
Here is my opinion:  
  
Happiness **is** related to physical well being.  
  
The individuals who are happier are usually also ...  
  
~~At the moment~~**When** individuals feel good...  
  
Related ~~with~~**to** this, a new study reveals that ~~the~~ happy people have a great sense ~~to~~**of** cheer**ing** their spouse up.  
  
Firstly, ~~it is because~~ a happy partner has (...) energy to take care **of** the significant others.  
... routine exercise, and ~~a~~ good quality of sleep.  
Thirdly, ~~of course the~~ happy people will (...) all the activities ~~that~~ they ~~have~~ do.
Hi Dila, here's another one from my end;  
  
- Happiness is related to the physical  
- happier are usually also  
- healthier and with less physical problem.  
- ~~At the moment individuals fell good, they tend to be~~When they are more active they definitely feel good. .  
- ~~Related with~~In relation to this,  
- a new study reveals that ~~the~~ happy people have a great  
- to ~~have~~be in better ~~in~~ shape.  
- ~~Data~~A data confirm that people  
  
- it is because a happy partner ~~has a number of~~possesses a positive energy  
- to take care of the significant other~~s~~ .  
- individual~~s~~to stay away  
  
There you have it Dila, I hope the above remarks are helpful to your revision and as always, be careful in choosing the words that you incorporate in your sentences as this will have an impact in the overall outcome in the essay.
**IELTS task 2 : Restricting air travel is the only way to prevent air pollution. Agree or disagree.**  
  
The increasing damage of pollution caused by aero transport emerges an opinion to restrict air travel as the best means to preserve the atmosphere. In my standpoint, I personally disagree towards the notion since this transportation mode is the most effective means for people to span countries all over the world and the prevention of air pollution can be maintained by other several methods.  
  
Needless to say, the airplane exhaust contributes to the level of pollution that clearly deteriorates the atmosphere and sparks the possibility of acid rain which is tremendously devastating for all of living organisms. According to the research conducted by The Green Peace, organisation concerning nature lives, resulted in which 40% of air contamination is produced by airplane as the highest pollutant rate after large ship's figure. The restriction of air travel, therefore, is imperative to restrain the higher amount of natural destruction pertaining to the airplanes' fumes.  
  
However, it will be totally difficult to carry out the restriction with an array of upsides air travel has. The recent situation appears that the most efficient mode for long distance travel is obviously airplane. When the restriction is applied, it generates a bulk of problems for society to commute. Subsequently, the increasing amount of air pollution can be overcome by other means that tend to be more useful without giving up the benefit of air travel. The technological development of airplane can be improved to sustain the total pollution produced as well as the realisation of green technology should be put into the real practice for enriching the aerospace machine.  
  
In conclusion, although to restrict air travel is one of predominant techniques in order that air pollution can be reduced, the more advantageous methods should be considered and employed to acquire virtual merits.
Hi Rizaldo, as I read along, I must say that you have written a well managed essay. First of all, there is just the right number of paragraph, not too long and not too short, enough to answer the prompt and make your idea known to your readers. Next, you have a logical order, from the introduction, the body of the essay and the conclusion, you have followed the standard flow of essay writing and the simplicity of your words will also help in the comprehension of your readers.  
  
However, I have a few suggestions towards the last paragraph of the essay;  
  
- In conclusion, although ~~to~~ restricting air travel  
- is one of the predominant techniques in order to reduce~~that~~ air pollution ~~can be reduced~~ , ~~the~~a more advantageous method~~s~~ should be (...) to acquire ~~virtual~~a more effective merit~~s~~ .  
  
There you have it Rizaldo, I hope the above remarks help in the revision of the last paragraph.
Publics more fascinating if they watching risky Sport . partly public gave opinion to band extreme sport because extreme sport have high risk .i disagree to belt risk sport.  
  
Several community thing sky diving and skiing as interesting sport. they like challenge sport and they like risk sport. Sky diving is Famous sport and it make many people want try this sport. For the beginner they are many requirements that you must do. International organization Skydiving have many regulations and also procedure before athletes started and one of them is safety equipment. To start following the sport athletes must go through several training and preparation like another sport for the instance before you exercise you must warm pool so that nothing undesirable as an example of their muscle cramps. Sky Diving and skiing need equipment and also technology because this sport very risk.  
  
However, I disagree With belt this sport , people have opinion that's sport have risk but if you run sport in accordance with the procedure, they can minimize fail. Sport if done according to the direction. Government can't prohibit this sport because they can decrease interest and achievement athletes. State they can monitor this sport with doing more attention.  
  
In conclusion, it is clear to me government must give more attention and supervisor to make sure this sport run according procedure and regulation. each community has an opinion to determine what kind sport must prohibit and they sport type extreme.
Hi Muhammad, below are my thoughts on your essay with the focus on the right words to incorporate in your sentences.  
  
- ~~Publics more fascinating if~~The public is fascinated when they are watching a risky Sport .  
- ~~partly public gave opinion to band~~However, the public made a petition to ban extreme sports  
- because as the name of the sports imply, extreme sports have a high risk .  
- I disagree to belt risky sport.  
  
- Several ~~community thing~~people think that sky diving  
- challenge of the sports and they  
- ~~like~~are willing to take the risk ~~sport~~ .  
  
There you have it Muhammad, I hope the above remarks are helpful to your revision and for future writing reference, make sure to choose the right words that you include in your sentences as they affect the overall outcome, not only in the sentences but the overall outcome of the essay.
Non-Steroidal Anti-inflammatory Drug (NSAIDs), well known as a painkiller, is a kind of drugs that used to relieve pain and inflammation. Painkiller can increase the risk of heart failure. The risk of heart failure towards people who consume NSAIDs increases by 19% than people who do not eat this drug. Researchers from UK through survey study from 10 million people from 4 countries such as UK, Netherlands, Italy and Germany, found that people aged around 65 were the highest users of painkiller. Patients should use this drug with caution, for instance, high dose usage was avoided by them and do not use it for long period. Study from BHF also revealed, painkiller is kind of drugs that has high risk of heart failure and patients who want to use painkiller should have previous discussion with their doctor, in order to avoid the worst damage. For young people who consume the painkiller regularly, their kidneys should be much concerned by them. It is essential to use it on the right occasion, for example if they have inflammation indication.
Dear Sasariri, here are some advices for your summary, feel free to correct me if I get wrong,  
  
*Is a kind of drug~~s that~~ used* to relieve ...  
  
Researchers from UK through survey ... -->  
*Researchers from UK who conduct survey that involve samples from 10 million people in 4 different countries*  
  
high dose usage was avoided by them a... -->  
*The danger consumption of high doses as well as long period time*  
  
*Studies conducted by BHF also revealed*  
  
Hope it helps you to improve your essay,  
  
Regrads
Hi sari,  
I do like read your summary, lemme give you some suggestion  
  
==> ... towards people who (routinely/ often / regularly) consume NSAIDs (...) people who do not ~~eat~~(consume/ use) this drug.  
==> Researchers from (the) UK through survey study (...) countries such as UK (did you mean Britain or the whole UK?), Netherlands, Italy...  
==> ~~Patients should use this drug with caution~~(Patients who consume NSAID have to read the dosage instruction clearly),  
==> for instance, ~~high dose usage was avoided by them~~(Do not consume more than daily dosage) and (do not use for long period of time without doctor's supervision).  
  
==> Study from BHF also revealed (that) painkiller is kind of (...) and ~~patients who want to use painkiller should have previous discussion with their doctor~~(patient have to consult with doctor before use NSAID) , in order to avoid the worst ~~damage~~(side effects) .  
  
==> ... who consume the painkiller regularly ~~their kidneys should be much concerned by them~~(should give much concern on their kidney) .  
... for example, if they have inflammation ~~indication~~(symptom) .  
  
Good luck and keep writing :)
Hi Sari  
here some suggestions for your writing  
  
who do not ~~eat~~consume / take this drug  
  
were the highest ~~users~~ (consumers) of painkiller  
Painkiller can increase the risk of heart failure . The risk of heart failure ... (You may just combine these sentence to make the reader get your point easily)  
  
... was avoided by them and do not use it for long period (drugs or medicines are suitable if you use, consume, or take, not eat or even use)  
  
painkiller is a kind of drugs that has  
  
Best Regard
Hi Sari,  
  
Related with your writing here some suggestions for you.  
  
... is a kind of drug~~s~~ that **is** used to relieve ...  
  
... heart failure towards **the** people who (...) by 19% than **the** people who do not ~~eat~~**consume** this drug.  
  
Researchers from UK ~~through~~**conducted** survey ~~study from~~**of**10 million people ...  
  
high ~~dose usage was avoided~~**dosage should avoid** by them and ~~do not use~~**it is not allowed to use this drug** for **a** long period.  
  
Good luck