dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
Everyone has already taught from their teacher, That An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth, which means if someone mistreats you and considers you As his enemies, You ought to give him revenge As far as you can, with reference to his action for you.  
  
However, your God has said " do not tried to attempt a revenge to your enemies" in the event that he slaps your cheek, then turn and let him slap your other cheek or someone sues your shirt, give up your coat and let him take it. On the other hand, At all times people said "Love your neighbour and hate your enemies" but your God said "Love your enemies and pray for anyone who mistreats you" then you will be acting such a good man, in the final analysis God will reward for your kindness.
Ahmad, do you have a prompt that you are responding to with this statement? I am not sure about how to review the content because I have no idea where your response is coming from and what it should apply to. However, even without knowing the prompt, I know that the essay is riddled with punctuation, grammar, and lexical problems.  
  
For example, you do not have properly placed periods in the essay even though you knew to capitalize the start of the next sentence. So I knew where the next started and the other one ended. Why did you forget to place the period in those areas? The same opinion applies to the way that you did not use punctuation marks when you should have within the essay. There are also coherence problems with the statement such as the reference to someone "sues" a shirt. I am not sure what you meant by sues. Did you mean "uses" and not "sues" ?  
  
Keep in mind that you should review your responses and make sure that the reader will be able to understand what you saying clearly. Otherwise, your explanation or response will fail in its task of informing the reader. Are you doing this exercise or a qualifying test? Please let us know because the advice for you can be adjusted even further in order to help you pass those tests. Otherwise, this basic advice will already deliver some very important reviews and advice for your English writing development.
In Ghana, most people who living in mining areas depend on mining activity as their main jobs. But, in fact mineral wealth in protected forest areas have exploited by this activity. Duo to the fact that the mining, Ghana, Which has 270 forest reserves, lost a great number of wood resources. Caudjoe Awudi, a corporate planning manager at Ghana's government forestry commission, believed the mining harmed land and water as well. For example, Densu river in the Atiwa forest reserve, Manzam and Tano Offin in the western region of Ghana. To solve this problem, working with community and law enforcement agencies has been done by Ghana's government. Nevertheless, according to Hannah Owusu-Koranteng, a director at WACAM, a community based human rights group, augmented that brave moving have to apply to handle the problem such as a new policy which control companies and penalties for infringing must be tightened.  
  
Source : voanews
Dedy, your grammar accuracy problems in the sentence development and confusing use of lexical resources have made an otherwise informative summary immensely difficult for the reader to comprehend. I found that I had to read your passages multiple times before I was able to figure out what it was that you were trying to say. Most of the problems come from your lack of English language vocabulary.  
  
Due to your unfamiliarity with the language, you had a tendency to use the wrong term in reference to an action (e.g. duo instead of due). It would be best if you refer to a dictionary, if you have the chance to do so in order to look up the meaning of a word before you use it in the essay. Lexical accuracy is important because it shows an advanced knowledge of English language and comprehension abilities as well.  
  
As for the body of your essay, when you say that the illegal actions of the residents are causing harm to the water and land areas of Ghana, make sure to cite the examples of the damage done from the original article. This offers the reader a better idea of the summary that you are presenting. Let's just say that what you lack in coherence quality, the example should make up for in helping the reader understand your message.  
  
So, the essay suffers an overall task accuracy problem due to the grammatical and lexical errors which led to a very weak cohesive and coherent structure for your essay. I hope that you can address these weaknesses in your next practice test Take note of my advice regarding improving your English word usage as you write your next test. If we cannot improve your comprehension and sentence development skills, it will be difficult for you to pass this section of the test.
**Modern technology is changing our world. This has advantages such as bringing people closer together through communication. It also has disadvantages such as destroying the differences between cultures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?**  
  
In recent days, the development of technology undeniably brings better life in the world. People are able to communicate easily which can make them closer, while there is a drawback that will disturb a harmonious in the culture. However, this essay stands on the line with proponents who agree with this notion. This essay will first discuss that time and distance are not obstacles and then talk underestimating the minority of culture.  
  
To begin with, it is inevitably true that cutting-edge technology makes interaction simpler than before. People do not need numerous efforts to reach others on the grounds that they are able to use mobile phones to communicate to everyone. For instance, my peers always call me from Aberdeen which has more than 5,000 kilometers from my home directly. It means that I can keep contact with my friend by using technology. Up to a point, this is true but it seems nothing if people do not meet their friends directly.  
  
On the other hand, there is a drawback in every positive improvisations of technology. First of all, inhabitants are able give bad comments to other cultures by using the internet. The conflict will appear from this situation or even criminals are the worst consequence that will happen. It occurs because people can get information on the internet and it is not hard to say negative sides on it. But, it is able to give benefits to increase knowledge from other cultures in a country.  
  
To sum up, I totally agree that people can keep in touch easily by using technology, even though it can give conflict in society. In my opinion, technology should be used appropriately and still follow the rule of technology.
Mardian, even though you have tried to write an acceptable writing pattern, some essential parts are missing and this would make your essay can only reach 5.0 in terms of Task Response. Those are "the absence of a result / an implication of the example that you have provided" and "the absence of clear examples of what you have stated earlier". When you mention an example about you phoning your peers, you just need to write what is the implication of that example. Then, when you mention "conflict" in the second body paragraph, it is questionable. What is the conflict? What kind of conflict? Missing an example can also be indicated as under-developed / insufficient development. In band 5, remember that "express a position but the development is not always clear..." and "present some main ideas but these are limited and not sufficiently developed" are the main criteria that you MUST avoid if you want to achieve band 6 or above.  
  
With regards to your grammatical range and accuracy, I can also predict that your essay is only worth 5 or below in an actual test. Your grammar mistakes cause some difficulty to the reader, especially when it comes to complex sentence. Your complex sentences tend to be less accurate than simple sentences. It seems to the reader that you still have some difficulty in deciding to use proper connectors. Take a look at one of them for an example:  
  
~~People are able to communicate easily which can make them closer, while ...~~  
  
*Even though people are able to easily communicate with others in order to make them closer, there is a drawback that potentially disturb a culture's harmony.*
There was some theories which revealed that the real person who discovered America was not Columbus. Firstly, Zuan Chabotto, a person who traveled to places and decided to go to Venetia, claimed that Columbus did not reach into North America until 1498. Zuan Chabotto, was well known as John Cabot, had sailed into North America in the previous year earlier, 1497. It was proven by Alwyn Ruddock, an English scholar, in 1966. He found a letter by John Day, an English merchant, which mentioned that Cabot had reached in North America before Columbus did. Unfortunately, Ruddock had ordered to completely destroyed this letter untill it was not exist anymore at his death, in 2005.  
  
Secondly, the greatest scholar and an honoured scientist who came from Uzbekistan, Abu Raihan al-Biruni, had learned about earth's co-ordinates, erath's circumference, and the principal of particular gravity. He had a great mind about an unknown suface of the Earth, which located between Europe and Asia, and able to be lived. Although Biruni had reached his conclusion about the land in 1037, he had not laid eyes at anytime. While Leif Ericson was a person, who had been sent to a foreign country to teach about Christian, had reached North America in 1000 with lack of understanding about what he had found.  
  
Overall, until the present time, Biruni is getting his tittle of the discoverer of North America because of his calculations and observations. He was the greatest Central Asia explorer among the other earliest explorer.  
  
Source : History Today
Septia, your information presentation is confusing and does not allow the reader to accurately follow your flow of discussion. This happened because you made a mistake in your second sentence presentation. The main question that creates a glaring flaw in your summary is "Who is Zuan Chabotto?". This is followed up by "When did he travel to the Americas?". Finally, "Was he recorded in history as being the first one to land on America?" More importantly, what criteria was used in the research article to assess who rightly discovered America? Was it based on who landed first? Or who named the country and claimed it for his mother country?  
  
The sentence development in the overall essay is not really good. It causes stress for the reader because it leaves one with more questions rather than answers because of the fact that your summary lacks key information which were contained in the original source. The explanation of the discovery of the letter is so wanting that it is obvious that there is a lack of understanding on your part. You need to practice more of your listening skills and seek the advice of your instructor regarding how to better recognize key words and essential parts within written text.  
  
Always review your work before submission. If you find that you cannot understand certain parts, then go back to the original if you still can and look for the additional information to clarify your essay. It is of the utmost importance that you present accurate information in your essay because the examiner knows what to look for and that will have an effect on your final score.
Recently, US Department of Justice had established law enforcement that can hack our computer no matter where you are. They think this is very essential, while the privacy advocates say this too much power. This decision make them to be able to plant hacking software on a computer that is disgusting its location. They have a tool prosecutor to use for identifying suspects in financial crimes and child porn cases, who typically use tools to hide their computers' IP addresses.  
  
Because of that, government decision still become pro and contra. Yes, it is true that can boost the power of surveillance, even make the country safer. Unfortunately, plant software on computers is too severe for each human privacy rights. As Andrew Crocker, a staff attorney at the privacy-oriented Electronic Frontier Foundation, said that this rules is more than procedural, even more authorized than before. Until now, some judgers still refuse to approve it, because it too powerful for government in someone privacy area.  
  
Unfortunately, the US government was already hacking US citizens. They argue that it is actually part of investigation in the criminal accidents. According to Crocker, government has been hacking regular people's computer for at least 15 years. There investigated sites visitors related to child pornography. It is actually good, but sometimes they also hack for people that actually not act as bad guys. They argue it is because too hard or nearly to impossible to select one by one, and more easy to spread the hacking tool software randomly.
Mushon, please remember to refer to the country that is being reported about in the summary. When summarizing a report based upon a country or location, it must be mentioned in the summary in order to answer the "Where?" question. All the more it must be mentioned because you are not a resident of the United States of America and therefore, should not make it sound like the ruling in question affects you when it does not. That is a misrepresentation that creates an inaccuracy in your report. Therefore, the U.S. Department of Justice established a law that allowed law enforcement officials to hack U.S. based computers, not wherever a person is.  
  
Pay attention to the tense usage in your essay. Since these reports have already happened and you are merely summarizing the information, the correct tense usage would be "past" tense. In addition to that, your lexical resource is really quite faulty in this essay. For example, "judgers" should be "judge" as you are referring to the position of authority and not an act of judgement. "Plant" should be "planting" since it refers to the act of placing something in a position of use.  
  
It would seem like you have a pretty good grasp of the issue being discussed. The main problem we have here lies in your lexical resource and grammatical accuracy sections. I suggest that you pay particular attention to those sections in your next essays.
**Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmers (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children).  
  
To what extent do you agree or disagree?  
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.**  
  
In my country-Taiwan, many high schools encourage students to be a volunteer. But being a volunteer is not a mandatory requirement. Some people state that this kind of unpaid community service should be included in high school curriculum. In my point of view, I am on the support side of this statement.  
  
The against people argue that the reason of these high school students willing to do such extra work is doubtable. The real reason is that they think of the certification of volunteer as an extra bonus to applying the university. It proofs that you don't only concentrate on studying but pay extra attention on social issue. Therefore, it is too controversial to set this kind of programmes in school.  
  
On the other hand, I believe the high school students are mature enough to participate in social activities. They can learn lots from these experiences, such as being thoughtful to the handicapped and understanding their parents' efforts on themselves. You can observe that in modern society, many students take everything for granted, and they lack sympathy. By setting these programmes in school, it seems a good way to lead them toward the right path.  
  
To sum up, there are pros and cons toward the unpaid community service being compulsory progammes. But isn't it a good chance to these students to gain something different from formal education.
Arlen, in terms of task accuracy, the essay would possibly score a 5 for a number of reasons. With regards to Task Accuracy, the problems with your work are as follows:  
  
1. While you generally address the prompt in an acceptable paraphrase, there is no clear overview to your essay because there is no introductory data to support your stance.  
  
2. While you discussed certain important parts of the essay, it is not properly developed within the paragraph so there is no clear purpose for the discussion being presented at certain times within the essay.  
  
With regards to coherence and cohesion, you could score a maximum of 4 because:  
1. There is no logic or coherence to the way that you have your paragraphs set up.  
2. The progression of the discussion is affected by your lack of properly arranged ideas even though you are presenting somewhat correct information within the paragraph.  
  
3. There is an obvious lack of properly used cohesive devices.  
  
In terms of your lexical resource, expect another 4 based upon:  
1. An obvious limited vocabulary range which could have been better helped by the presence of a dictionary or thesaurus while you were developing your essay.  
  
2. Your inability to form simple, understandable sentences really caused your self-expression to be incomprehensible to the reader. Hence, there as no way to properly understand what you were trying to explain in some paragraphs, specifically paragraph 2.  
  
3. The passages were not easy to understand and left the reader wondering as to what you were actually trying to say due to the lack of proper word usage in developing your sentences / paragraphs.  
  
Grammar accuracy and range in my opinion would only be a 4. Reasons for this are as follows:  
1. There is a limited range of sentence structures presented in the essay. The sentences often do not follow the proper sentence development rules.  
2. The errors in sentence development are simply too numerous. The grammatical errors contained in the essay make it extremely difficult for the reader to understand what you are trying to say even after having read the passage twice or 3 times.
Q: ***Many people have an unhealthy diet and do not take enough exercise. What do you think are the reasons for this and what can be done to encourage people to lead a more healthy lifestyle?***  
  
**Type Discussion Essay**  
  
Health is wealth, this phrase we hear from fifth standard. Health is directly relates with our daily diet plan. To be healthy in life, we can't ignore diet habit with junk food. We must do some physical exercises only even 40 minute walk plays a great role to keep us fit and active. To discuss more about diet schedule and physical training we need to go through each part in more detail.  
  
Balance diet have great importance from childhood till old age. High calories food is not suitable for body weight and makes problem for weight gain. The major group which comes under this problem mostly belongs from teenagers, students and office executives. These groups are like to eat fast readymade items, hygienic products which are easily available on every public spots/stations and cafes. These items are spice in taste, deep fry in low quality oil with artificial flavors. We must think for our life style which is very crucial, full of work load and there is no time to manage diet plan. All these unhealthy nutrition is beginning of heart problems and stomach issues. We can use fruits and vegies in routine diet which are simple and easily carrying things and they have no preservatives.  
  
Majority of above group fellows surrounded with stress problems and laziness. They don't have time to go for casual walk with friends or tents. Gym and training are best solutions which can eat our health problems but usually we need dedicated time for that. There are things such as cycling and treadling which are cost effective and good for physical fitness. Daily 30 mints cycling is also a good choice instead of use transport for students. Office executives prefer to walk and use public transports to reach their offices. It is medically approved that physical exercises defeat early age problems and keep us well maintain for many serious illness. It is commonly observe that until age of 30, the above discussed group face problem in eye side, hair fall and bally fat. These are simple symptoms of unhealthy life style.  
  
The good health is most beautiful gift from God and it is our responsibility to look after and take care for this. We lost money and become poor but we can achieve it again, once we lost health, there is no medical science to return it back.
Hi, @sfahad284. In addition to what JackieG said, I recommend that you revise the following sentences, as they are the hardest to read:  
  
(1) The major group which comes under this problem ... These groups are like to eat fast readymade items, hygienic ...  
  
(2) We can use fruits and vegies in routine diet which are ...  
  
(3) Gym and training are best solutions ... There are things such as cycling and treadling ...  
  
(4) It is medically approved that physical exercises ... It is commonly observe that until age of 30, the above ...  
  
(5) We lost money and become poor but we can achieve it ...  
  
Consider making these sentences more concise. That should improve the overall readability of your essay. Moreover, before you submit your essay, double check it for any spelling errors--for example, you wrote *vegies* instead of *veggies*.
**All children should study a foreign language in school starting in the earliest grades. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?**  
  
Some people believe that parents require their children to learn regarding a new language in the earliest stages. A foreign language is the most important consideration for parents toward their children. I consider believe, thera are numerous benefits study in term of a foreign language.  
  
First of all, many people say that studying a foreign language is extremely significant. A lot of advantages for children, they are able to know that language is something to enjoy and to explore. As a matter of fact, they are capable of teaching other people who have not understood yet. Some children have the ability to gain their goal with study in the neighborhood of new language, they also are capable of discovering new experience by learning a new language.  
  
Second of all, other people say that learning a new language is very difficult for children in light of the fact that they have to finish their other lessons that given by teacher, so children require a long time to understand a new language. Consequently, they cannot arrange their time to focus other lessons. For example, children have a lot assignment from their teacher, they must finish wide range of subjects that they cannot do rapidly.  
  
Deeply deliberating over the issue, i strongly argue that learning a new language is very important for children in the earliest stages. They should do it for the reason that it influences for their bright future, and also parents must give to support for their children to begin now.