dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
## how many funds companies spent on advertising?

  
  
**The table below shows a breakdown of companies advertising expenditure in different media sectors in three countries (Australia, South Korea and Brazil). Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.**  
  
The graph illustrates the percentage of spending in an advertisement of companies from Australia, Korea and Brazil.  
  
Overall, Television advertisement has the most percentage wherein companies spend to popularize their products. On the contrary, Direct Mail has the least expenditure when percentage were totaled from all the 3 countries.  
  
Companies from Brazil spend mainly on television in their advertisement with 61%, which is more than half of the value of the other forms. Although both Australia and Korea have television as their top expenditure, its percentage is not far enough from the value of newspaper and radio, which are all between 20-30%.  
  
Direct mail is the kind of advertisement that the 3 countries does not spend much. Brazil, mainly, spends the smallest on this form with only 1%. Meanwhile, Australia has sponsorship and direct mail, both with 8%, as the least percentage of expenditure. On the other hand, Korea does not spend much on the internet as compared to other forms of advertisement with only 6% allocated on it. Direct mail and sponsorship have both 12% making them the second least of allocation for advertisement in Korea.  
  
(186 words)  
  
All comments are welcome! Thank you!!
Marnelee, it is common practice, no, it is expected, of the students that wish to benefit from a professional IELTS review at this forum to upload the image that accompanies the prompt you are responding to. Since I do not have access to the image and you only posted the prompt, I have no way of considering your work in accordance with the provided image. Please remember to upload the image with your next essay as you only get one professional review for your work per thread. In the meantime, let me point out the obvious problems with your essay.  
  
The TA portion of your presentation falls short of the expected information. That should have a proper summary of the prompt for discussion, an outline of the upcoming presentation, the instructions for the discussion, and finally, the trending information (when required or possible). Without these information in the summary overview, that comprises the TA considerations, your essay will have a hard time getting a passing score from the very start.  
  
Try to avoid creating run-on sentences by using periods instead of commas in the presentation. You need to make sure that you present the minimum 3 sentence requirement per paragraph. By creating a continuous flow of thought instead of individual discussion sentences, you create a possible lowering of your C&C and GRA score. You need to show the examiner that you can create proper English sentences instead of long sentences that combine information. Expanding is always better than summarizing in this case. Present each sentence as factual instead of continuing presentations.  
  
Writing 186 words will help your score but the problems that you presentation faces creates some low scoring considerations for you. If you can address those points in your next test, you should be able to improve your final, overall score.
The proliferation of private cars on the roads in many parts of the world has led to serious problem of pollution and may contribute to global warming.  
  
Some people think the government should spend money for the development of public transportation system in order to help alleviate this problem. Others think it is better to spend money for the development of electric types of cars that many cause less pollution  
  
Discuss both views  
  
Answer  
  
## 'kill the bird with one stone' method

  
  
Pollution from vehicle is the one of the biggest triggers for the climate change and the lungs cancer that people have to face. It also brings some contradiction in society where the budget is better to spend in evolving the type of electric cars while this essay agrees that the police maker should concern about the increasing the public transportation to control the rate of pollution.  
  
Developing the public transportation system can become the solution for decreasing pollution. Adding the new or renovating the old mass transportation can be a good campaign to attract the people to use it. Taking a developed country such as Germany as an example, where the reason why the society prefers to use mass transportation rather than private cars, it is very comfortable and it was proven if this strategy can control the rate of pollution.  
  
Although developing electric cars can be viable solution to overcome this problem, the government should consider before choosing this option. Remembering not whole countries, especially in developing countries, are supported with electricity to recharge the cars or to replace the gas cars, this approach will surely need large budget. Despite changing the gas car into electric, the government prefers to increase the other sector that might be more crucial to handle rather than this matter.  
  
In conclusion, renovating or adding the new public transportation to encourage the people to use it as like kill the bird with one stone for the government beside to control pollution rate also to give sense of comfort to the society. While electric cars has limited access in several areas and many consideration have to cogitate.
Heru, the essay that you wrote does not follow the requirements for a Task 2 essay. There is no opening paraphrase that should have represented the original prompt topic and instructions in your own understanding. Neither did it discuss the essay in the manner required which is to simply discuss both points of view. You created a personal opinion paper in your discussion. This is a direct representation of a prompt deviation which shows that you did not fully understand the instructions you were provided with. Therefore, the score for this essay will not be passing. Let me see if I can show you how you could have outlined this paper to better follow the prompt requirements and discussion outline:  
  
*The worldwide use of private cars has led to pollution problems that in turn, have made global warming worse. That is why there are sectors of society that believe word governments should be spending more money on the development of public transportation in order to solve the pollution problem. Then there are others who believe that it would be best for the government to finance the development of electric cars instead as these would lessen world pollution which could help reduce pollution. This essay will discuss both points of view.  
  
It is believed by some that by increasing public transportation, the government....  
  
On the other hand, if the government were to develop electric cars, some people are of the opinion that...  
  
In conclusion...*  
  
Notice that the outline I provided for you as an example fully covers the method by which this essay should have been discussed. I have a feeling that you did not really know how to format the essay and how to approach the discussion. I hope that my example above can help you understand how to approach these types of essay instructions.
Hello everyone! I believe this is going to be my final draft of my college essay, and not the essay I do in college, but the essay that I submit to get INTO college! Id appreciate any opinions anyone may have about it!  
  
## these events shaped my personality

  
  
The last thing I remember was running to my room to pray. It was late at night, about 3 am, when I awoke to the sound of familiar voices screaming in the hallway. I remember trying to make sense of what the voices were saying, but as a five-year-old, I could not comprehend them. I threw the blankets off the bed and began to make my way down the stairs to the startling sounds; it is then I realized my parents were the source of the screaming. I immediately ran towards them, getting in-between them, and began begging them to stop yelling. I instantly knew this was not just a normal fight that parents had from time to time; this was something more than that, something that was going to change my entire life forever. I remember putting my arms out trying to stop the yelling, telling them that everything will be okay if they just stopped screaming at each other. My dad pulled me aside and whispered for me to go back to my room.  
  
After that night, my whole world turned upside down. My parents divorced, and my dad was granted full custody of both my sister and me. My mom had struggled with alcoholism and drug addiction since she was a teenager. I knew the split was best for not only me, but for my entire family.  
  
However, I cannot help but wonder what life would have been like with a mom. I have always been the type of person to continue to ask a question until that question has a definite answer, but that is nearly impossible with some questions . I once read a quote by Stephen Hawking that stated, " Look up at the stars and not down at your feet. Try to make sense of what you see, and wonder about what makes the universe exist. Be curious." Ever since I read that quote, I go out every night and gaze upon the stars with all these thoughts streaming through my mind. My situation has made me come out as a stronger person, willing to face anything that is put in front of me. I live in moments, taking one step at a time, and never taking my life for granted. Because of my past, I now feel as though I see things many people overlook. I tend to notice all of the little things our entire universe has to offer.  
  
This world is too complex to have just happened coincidentally. We only see the first layer of our universe, and the deeper we go the more beautiful it becomes. My upbringing made me see life from a whole new perspective. I began to see that I did not need to have a "normal" family life to be reared well and loved completely, but this realization took time. Honestly, growing up this way has completely shaped me into the person I am today.
Hallo! My name is Tatyana and i am from Bulgaria,so the english language is not my native. I would like to apply to american university hence i need to have perfect SAT result and i will be really thankfull if a teacher, collegian or even student reads my essay and score it.  
  
TOPIC: **Should people take more responsibility for solving problems that affect their communities or the nation in general?**  
  
## taking things in our hands and the liability

  
  
"Responsibility is accepting that you are the cause and the solution of the matter", that is why taking the things in your hands would not be a wrong decision. Proof of this statement can easilly be found in the history.  
  
For instance, if we look back, only seventy-five years ago sixty million people died in the second world war, because of one persons beliefs and the reluctance of the majority to take the responsibility for the future of the nation. As can be seen the ideas of the individual or even the community can not solve any problem until all of us do not take an action.  
  
The next example I can give from personal experience. Namely the graffiti problem we had in my school last year made us think and act as a whole. The walls were painted by group of students and the teachers faced big problem. The principal mustered all students in front of one painted wall and asked us only one single question. It was not ''who made it?'', but ''Is that how you show the world who you are?". On the next day we all took the responsibility and cleaned it out to solve not the problem of the school board, but ours, as one community.  
  
In conclusion i can say that our world is builded by every single one of us and if the government or the leaders gives ud the direction only our is the responsibility to follow it or not!
Tatyana, are you reviewing for the SAT on your own? Are you not attending review classes? Do you not have a review tutor? The reason that I ask is because the prompt that you responded to is more in line with an IELTS or TOEFL review essay instead of a SAT review essay. The typical SAT essay tests your reading, analysis, and writing skills. It is not an opinion essay as the other 2 essays are. The SAT normally asks the student to review a passage taken from a chosen reading and asks you to review and analyze specific criteria based on the given text. Any essay that does not follow the criteria will not be scored. Therefore, your essay has already failed. It does not follow the required parameters for a SAT essay so it cannot be scored accordingly. Let me show you a sample of what a typical SAT essay test instruction is:  
  
*As you read the passage below, consider how XXXXXX uses  
- evidence, such as facts or examples, to support claims.  
- reasoning to develop ideas and to connect claims and evidence.  
- stylistic or persuasive elements, such as word choice or appeals to emotion, to add power to the ideas expressed.  
  
Passage follows. Then additional instructions are given for the writing of the essay:  
  
Write an essay in which you explain how XXXXXX builds an argument to persuade his audience that xxx should be preserved. In your essay, analyze how XXXXXX uses one or more of the features in the directions that precede the passage (or features of your own choice) to strengthen the logic and persuasiveness of his argument. Be sure that your analysis focuses on the most relevant features of the passage.  
  
Your essay should not explain whether you agree with XXXXXX claims, but rather explain how XXXXXX builds an argument to persuade his audience.*  
  
Somehow you began reviewing for the wrong test. I strongly advise that you change the manner of your review otherwise, you do not stand a chance of passing the SAT essay test section.
@Holt  
I start SAT classes next moth but i was prepearinng on my own with the official SAT study guide. I suppose its an old eddition because there its explained in entirey diffrent manner and i see some inconsistencies in some other parts too but i didnt knew that about the essay.  
  
Thank you for reading my first and unconforming attempt though. I really appreciate your answer. You opened my eyes!  
Best wishes!
**Every day, millions of tons of food are wasted all over the world. Why do you think this is happening ? and how can we solve this problem?**  
  
## Wasting food is a disquieting problem

  
  
An excessive amount of food is thrown away on a daily basis, which is a burning issue throughout the world. This problem results from certain reasons. However, many steps can be taken to address the issue.  
  
Obviously, there are many causes leading to the phenomenon. First of all, the amount of wasted food has surged substantially due to mass production. Various types of food are manufactured significantly and customers can purchase food in every supermarket or any stores at any time. Therefore, people have a tendency to underestimate the vital role of food as they think food is always available and never become lacking. Another reason is due to the reasonable price of food. It is clear that mass production gives rise to the imbalance between supply and demand. Food is becoming superfluous, more than people's demand and therefore, it becomes affordable for every customer. People buy a huge amount of agricultural produce and raw meat as they are at the low price. Last underlying cause is people buy food because they want, not for their requirements. It is inevitable that food companies have several strategies to attract potential customers to buy their food such as stunning packages, fresh food selection or food discount programs. As a result, buyers are appealed to purchase more food despite having enough at home.  
  
Nevertheless, there are different measures to settle the global issue. Initial solution is governments should raise citizens' awareness by disseminating information about the food role. People have to understand the significance of food, do not buy because of its eye-catching appearance and should be educated methods to preserve food for many days. Secondly, inhabitants should be encouraged to use left-over food in place of throwing away. For instance, they can donate redundant food for the homeless and the disadvantaged or gather stinky food for animal breeding in order to save food.  
  
In conclusion, wasting food is becoming a hot trend recently as a result of mass production, price decrease and enterprises' promotional strategies. Those in control should come up with several approaches to deal with the reality, ranging from education to donation.
Linh, you are creating controversy in your opening statement, which is changing the tone of the original prompt from conversational to debatable. Always follow the original tone of the prompt by keeping your paraphrase logical and within the realm of peaceful discussion. Avoid exaggeration in your statements as that changes the task accuracy of the essay. If you want to score highly in the TA section, then do not over emphasize. Stay within the reasonable discussion setting of the original prompt. Therefore, the approach you should have taken was:  
  
*It is believed that millions of tons of food end up uneaten and thrown away globally. Very little is known as to why this sort of wastage has been happening.This essay will look into the reasons as to why this trend is growing and make a suggestion that could possibly help solve the problem.*  
  
Notice the consistently academic tone in the discussion that I represented in my paraphrased prompt? That is what the examiner will be looking for, logic and reason in the presentation instead of sensationalism and exaggeration. I am sure that you can see for yourself which of the two paraphrased prompts is more aligned with the original discussion.  
  
With regards to your body of paragraphs. You should have divided the second paragraph into 2 at the point where you said *"Another reason..."* as that phrase indicates that there is a change in the discussion topic which should be placed in its own discussion setting / paragraph. This separation would have created a more cohesive and coherent essay, as well as offer you the opportunity to create far more complex sentence presentations in a format the examiner would appreciate more in terms of scoring.  
  
Your concluding sentence is impressive but requires one more sentence in order to create a complete paragraph as required by the C&C scoring section of the test. You could have separated the last, long line into 2 sentences in order to meet that requirement.
Hi Lin.  
Here is a bit suggestion of your essay, it may helps.  
gives rise = ( rise collocate only with make) mass production makes rise to the imbalance between supply and demand.  
People**buy** a huge amount of agricultural **produce** and raw meat = double verbs  
Last underlying cause **is** people **buy** food because they want, not for their requirements =Last underlying cause is that people buy food as many as they want, but nor for their requirement.
**The Question  
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is better to use printed material such as books and articles to do research than it is to use the internet. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.**  
  
## researching materials form

  
  
Researching is important part of our lives. We face many subjects to do research in our daily life. These can be about job, education or other necessary things. Some people choose printed materials such as books and articles while researching. Also, some of them prefer internet. In my point of view using printed materials is not good choice. I always research by internet for two important reasons.  
  
The main reason is that we can access the information that we need easily and rapidly with the help of internet. Accessing the information is not feasible everywhere. Many countries still have not enough libraries, schools and educational possibilities. The people who are living in there can't benefit from printed materials. However, internet can be widely used in many regions of countries. For example few years ago, I was living at the Kinik where is a small town of Antalya. I had limited time to present my homework to the school. I could not find any library to search about topic of homework. Because Kinik was very small town and hadn't any library. The only way was going to to center of Antalya for necessary resources. Center was so far from Kinik. With these circumstances I completed my homework by Google without going to center. As you can see, I was not able to present my homework easily if the internet doesn't exist.  
  
Secondly using internet is beneficial for nature. People don't need a papers when they research from internet. Naturally , any reduction of the requirement of the paper will effects cutting trees positively. For example , I had researches about histroy of financial products. It was a project of the university. I used the library to found necessary books and magazines. Surprisingly the library did not share these materials for one week. Responsibles accepted just few hours to photocopy. Approximately , I took 150 pages of copies. This situation caused paper consumption. If they could share these books on the internet, papers was not counsumed for photocopy. This experience taught to me that using internet for researches helps to nature instead photocopy.  
  
To summarize , according to me choosing internet is better to do research than is the use printed material. Internet using is good choice not only for easy access information but also beneficial for nature. Every body should use internet to do researches.