dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
It is a common belief that everyone can be good at playing sport or music  
This is a clear misrepresentation and misunderstanding of the prompt. The belief is that it is wither an inborn or developed talent. Neither discussion has been correctly restated in this presentation. It is a failed interpretation of the topic and reasoning presentation. Markdown #1.  
  
I firmly consider that everyone has his or her talent in a different thing. Therefore, sport and music may not be suitable for everyone to learn.  
Unsuitable opinion response due to a mistaken understanding of the original topic. It is nota discussion about talent suitability but rather how one acquires the talent. Markdown #2.  
  
While the task interpretation is incorrect, the reasoning discussions are applicable to the original concept. This leads me to wonder how the restatement aspect happened to be incorrect? The 2 discussion paragraphs are well developed on the public opinion front. Well developed and explained. The problem, is the lack of personal opinion development. Missing from this essay is the personal opinion paragraph. Markdown # 3.  
  
The concluding paragraph fails to meet the 40 word, 2 sentence minimum requirement. Markdown #4.  
  
The essay might recieve a very low passing score due to the significant errors presented. Incorrect interpretations and missing paragraphs are its main issues.
**"It is a common belief ... However, I firmly ... Therefore, ..."**  
  
THIS IS MY PARAPHRASE FOR THE QUESTION. HOPE YOU FIND IT HELPFUL.  
Opinions are divided on whether one's talents for sport or music are from their nurture or in their nature. From my viewpoint, although many people consider some particular talent as an innate capacity, many children nowadays can still be prodigies at certain fields after being trained.
**In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough.  
WHAT ARE THE ADVANTAGES AND DISADVANTAGES OF GIVING CHILDREN THIS MESSAGE?**  
  
In many traditions, young descendants are instilled an idea that if they do their best, nothing is impossible. In my opinion, despite the empowerment given by this message, children are going to lead a miserable life if completely occupied by this philosophy.  
  
The argument against the shortcoming of this message is that children are emboldened by their cultures to accomplish every goal. Without the encouragement from the parents, the older people such as grandparents, the communities as a whole, children will consider themselves as loners, living with no purposes, and might end up becoming criminals. Being mentally supported by others, with such idea as the harder they work, the more they succeed in life, will energize children to push through hard times of studying, working or competing and finally, for instance, pull off straight As, performance bonuses, promotions or grand medals.  
  
Nonetheless, as the message does not limit the achievements to be only those moral, legal and contributing to society, it can be detrimental for lives of the young-aged. For example, students can burn out while cramping for exams because they believe if they work harder, they will get better score. When they grow up, under the pressure of earning as much money as possible to make ends meet, they will resort to any devious means to get what they want. Some extremists even commit crimes, especially juveniles, while still justifying their actions by this half-hearted thinking.  
  
In conclusion, it is undeniable that children needs reinforcements from the grownups to get themselves down to work before winning in their lives. However, children should also be advised that mere hard work can not guarantee them to achieve everything and successes should be anything healthful for them and helpful for society.  
  
286 words.  
  
Could you comment and grade this essay please? Thanks!
## The graph shows Underground Station passenger numbers in London

  
  
The line chart illustrates the number of people who usually travel by underground station in London from 6.00 to 22.00 per day.  
Overall, the time when the largest passengers use the underground station is 8.00, while 2 hours before having the least people work by underground station. Moreover, the data of travelers is a considerable fluctuation between 6.00 and 22.00.  
  
To be specific, from 6.00 to 10.00, there is a slight fluctuation from 100 to 180 people. Moreover, at 8.00, people who commute by underground stations are the most crowded, at 400 people. Similarly, the figures of passengers experienced a gradual growth between 180 and 300 in 4 hours later.  
  
However, the number of travelers has a dramatic decline from about 14.00 to 16.00, around 200 people. By contrast, people who work by the underground station at 8.00 a.m become more than 2 hours before, at 380 people. Nevertheless, 4 hours later, the rate of passengers witnessed a significant fluctuation from 380 to 140 people.  
  
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The writer has done his best to create an understandable report based on the chart presented. Information is accurate for the most part. However, the sentence structures are more often than not, difficult to understand. The problem lies in the inaccurate grammar use of the presentation. The writer tends to deliver the explanations in confusing manners. This is because he lacks the ability to control the way he develops his thought process. There is a disconnection between the thinking in English and writing in English process. The writer should engage in more sentence development exercises. He has the potential to score well. Right now, his errors affect the C + C and GRA sections in a negative way. Keep practicing. You will eventually overcome the current writing problem.
The line chart illustrates the number of **underground travellers** in London ...  
Overall, the **peak time** **with** the largest passengers is 8.00, **2 hours after the least figure for train commuters of the day is recorded**. Moreover, the daily data of travelers **undegoes**considerable **fluctuations** **during the whole day**.  
  
To be specific, **4 hours from the opening of the station at 6.00**, there is a fluctuation from 100 to 180 people,**with the number peaking at 400 people at 8.00**. Similarly, the figures **for** passengers **experiences** a gradual growth of 120 until mid-noon.  
  
**However**, **there is a dramatic decline** from 14.00 to 16.00 by around 200 people. **This figure then overcomes a 380-people climb until 20.00, 4 hours before a significant fluctuation from 380 to 140 people is witnessed.**  
  
These are some of my recommendations for your essays. It has good structures, you also did great in task response but pay attention to extending your lexical resources, and some inappropriate words (By contrast, However, which are used under wrong circumstances). Hope you find my feedback helpful and constructive.
## History vs Science and Technology

  
  
Education is an all-important factor in society that is technology-based and automatic-mediated. It leads to the controversy that whether History or Science and Technology be emphasized. This essay will examine both sides of the issue and provide an overall opinion.  
  
First of all, there is a variety of reasons why individuals believe that studying historical events is important. Perhaps the main reason is that history fosters traditional moral values among young people by the inspire spring from older generation's acutely and values in the battles. In addition, that is the premise for them to learn from the past, while children would realize past mistakes and to build their future lives more success. It will upgrade their attitudes and behavior regarding the nation.  
  
On the other hand, the majority of the population put their faith in science and technology which have become the most important and valuable subjects in today's society, is plausible. Technology is an arch factor for the development of all areas of society nowadays. Accessing regularly could provide foundation knowledge that helps students to adapt to technological development. For example, if students study Engineering at school, they may understand how electronic gadgets work. Furthermore, in contrast to History which learns about events happened in the past, Science and Technology explore multidimensional society and deep-wise. By those things in their school time period, It will help them to develop their creating abilities, expanding their knowledge in different fields, making their upcoming achievement more successfully.  
  
In conclusion, having considered both sides of the issue, I would argue that subjects like Science and Technology are integral to modern life. If the government introduces an appropriate curriculum, students can apply the lessons to make innovations in these fields; therefore, the quality of people's lives will increase.
provide an overall opinion.  
This is an incorrect reference. The overall opinion will be coming from you, as the writer. Reference yourself as the source of the final opinion next time.That way, the discussion flow will be clearer to the reader.  
  
Perhaps  
No. Words that do not offer a solid discussion opinion will score down the essay. Additionally, you are discussing based on your personal , rather than presenting a comparative public opinion presentation. Score markdown # 1 and 2.  
  
In conclusion  
I would argue  
This essay does not have a proper summary conclusion. When you refer to a conclusion, you must not include a personal opinion. That is because the concluding paragraph does not allow for a continued discussion presentation. That will never pass for a properly formatted closing statement. Score markdown #3.
## Fast Food taxation

  
  
Over recent years, no issue has drawn as much attention as the debate surrounding Fast Food taxes. Some people hold a point of view that imposing an excise taxes on this type of food could contribute to curb the rising rate of diseases. However, to my best knowledge, this solution does not bring realistic effect as much as it's initially expected.  
  
On the one hand, it is argued by some that the heavily governmental taxation on junk food would be associated with a noticeable reduction the excessive consumption. The crucial reason here, with such raising tariffs that the giant food corporation would shift the tax burden on consumers by raising the price, thereby putting purchasers' choice of junk food into consideration and ameliorating public health. For example, Hungary has succeeded with its tax assessment which was implemented in 2011, after 4 years, more than 59 percent of consumers had lowered their consumption of offending fast food products, according to a study conducted by the World Health Organization (WHO). As a result, the government has more of a source of income generation in order to add funding for issues of immediate concerns such as medical complaints, education...  
  
On the other hand, a heavy price could be paid if the government raise the FF tax. Firstly, imposing a high excise on fast food is likely not to remarkably implicate on the eating choices of affluent consumers, even places a financial burden on the low-income, on whom are mainly relying because of owing to its affordability. That means disadvantaged people have insufficient funds to satisfy their hunger and cut back for some basic needs like education and accommodation. consequently, a harder life could be perceived.  
  
In conclusion, the advantages of fast food are deniable. However, all of the countries over the world need a more practical methodology to protect public health in the current era of business-friendly government policy.
excise taxes  
Taxes should be in singular form (tax) since there is only one type being considered.  
  
this solution does not bring  
Before the discussion reason, respond to the question first. Responding to the question is a primary scoring consideration, regardless of the reasoning presentation. Without the direct answer, the response presentation is incomplete.  
  
The discussion format used is not the correct one. Note that you were asked to give a singular direct response to the question. The examiner will assess your ability to follow discussion instructions and properly defend your opinion over 2 paragraphs. It is a singular opinion presentation, not a comparative consideration. So, based on this 4 paragraph presentation, the reviewer will only score 3 out of 4 paragraphs, thereby lessening the chances for a higher scoring presentation. If a paragraph does not support your opinion, it will not be part of the shared scoring credits.
## should ancient buildings be retained or replaced by the modern architecture

  
  
Various ancient constructions playing a crucial role as a country's history are under the protection of the law. Some suggest that there should be new buildings replacing over these old ones. In my personal opinion, I totally disagree with this idea for several reasons.  
  
First of all, the ancient buildings are the historical and cultural representation of a country's identity, on which serious conservation should be implemented. It can be easily visualized that if all countries are modernized with full of the state-of-the-art buildings and high-rises, the culture of these countries will be gradually faded. Take Japan as an example, they are successful in maintaining numerous old buildings, leaving an unforgettable impression when people think of Japan's culture.  
  
Furthermore, the ancient buildings can be financially beneficial to the economy of a country. In details, as tourism industry is booming, travelers commence to explore the landscapes and culture from other countries and many have interest in the historic relics and monuments. Consequently, the one-of-a-kind ancient constructions become the appealing destinations and bring a huge revenue to the GDP of that country. For instance, in Vietnam, Hoi An ancient town and Hue citadel are among the most visited spots, where thousands of visitors have set foot on and spent handsomely on their trips every year.  
  
By contrast, it is sometimes thought that by replacing the old constructions by the new buildings will make a country look more developed, so that more investment will be drawn. However, I believe that there should be a balance between modernization and traditional values.  
  
To conclude, the ancient buildings should be retained due to their economical benefits and the essence of the country's image.
In my personal opinion, I totally disagree with this idea for several reasons.  
Your ersonal opinion is not a required part of this discussion and should not be part of the restatement. The only requirement of this discussion is for you, as the writer, to discuss the two points of view. Your opinion should not be presented as an influencing factor of the discussion. Do not present an opinion when not asked to do so. This will result in a prompt alteration that will lower your accuracy score.  
  
You have altered the discussion format from a general comparative presentation to a personal opinion consideration. You have not followed the response format from the very start. J am not confident that this will be a passing score presentation because of the altered task presentation
**Exam question**:  
***In the modern society, children are less reliant on their parents to learn about the surrounding world compared to families in the past.***  
## To what extent do you agree or disagree?

  
***Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.***  
  
Many people believe that modern society makes children dependent on their parents to learn about the world around them. Some think that children always need to depend on adults. I believe that children are less reliant on their parents to learn about the surrounding world compared to families in the past.  
  
Nowadays, children are always exposed to new things at a very young age. It is ordinary for a child about five years old to know how to use the internet to watch movies or play games. Knowing how to use the internet makes them less reliant on their parents to study and learn things all around the world. Most children nowadays are self-taught. When they don't understand a lesson, they rarely ask their teachers or parents, but they use the internet to find out.  
  
Because society is developing more and more, parents always have to work around the clock to make life better, which made parents have less time to teach their children. That is also the reason why children become more independent in their life. They can do simple household chores like cooking, doing laundry, or cleaning the house.  
  
In the past, because there were no electronic devices or the internet like now. So it is very difficult for children to have access to things around the world. That makes them always dependent on their parents in learning and understanding many things around them.  
  
To sum up, I believe that the development of society has made children more and more independent. They can live freely however they want without being a constraint.
Many people believe that modern society makes children dependent on their parents  
Incorrect topic restatement. The orginal point was that children are less reliant on their parents to learn about the world these days. Score markdown # 1.  
  
I believe that children are less reliant on their parent  
Incorrect opinion response. While the belief is an acceptable discussion foundation, it was not formatted as an extent response. Score markdown # 2.  
  
They can do simple household chore  
The example is incomplete in terms of discussion development. A few sentences about how children learn to do chores through other channels would have better supported this paragraph. Midline score basis.  
  
In the past,  
This is an unnecessary and unrelated paragraph as it changes the required discussion aspect. Score markdown # 3.  
  
To sum up  
The conclusion lacks the original topic presentation, writer's reasoning, and proper closing sentence. All of these should have been presented starting at a minimum of 40 words. Score markdown # 4.
## **Companies use different way to increase sales.**

  
*What different ways do companies use to increase sales? What is the most effective one?*  
  
With the development of global commerce, enterprises, nowadays, are using a variety of methods of boosting their sales, depending on their strategies, budgets, and targeted customers. No matter what sale strategies each company are applying, they are aiming at the similar target, for the increase in revenues.  
  
Corporate's owners can apply numerous increasing - sales strategies after analyzing thoroughly their strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and threats. For small and medium companies, their budgets may be limited and have to be allocated economically to lots of departments. In these cases, they tend to choose sales solutions which do not cost too much money. Online companies, for example, opt for marketing campaigns on social networks or third party's platform to boost their sales in lieu of marketing on media, which often charges bunches of money for each advertising minute. For large corporates whose budgets are sufficient for launching long term sales promotions, they will approach targeted customers by diversified methods, such as advertising on televisions, setting up signboards, or co - operating with key opinion leaders. Some luxury and exclusive brands, though possess themselves huge financial resources, choose to not advertise in common ways, but their sales always rise significantly because of their insightful knowledge about customers. Lamborghini, for example, does not spend any money on broadcasting their products on communications and media, yet this brand still become one of the hugest auto producers by virtue of their quality and rare products.  
  
There exists no clear answer for which sales method is the most effective because of the difference amongst companies' aims and their customers' characteristics. If one company targets to become the lead in retail market, discount campaigns will work to some extent. On the other hand, If another company aims to increase sales by exclusive products, it will hardly choose to cut down the prices.  
  
To conclude, enterprises have many options to boosting their earnings. However, which option is the most suitable depends on companies' orientation and resources.
The student takes on the prompt restatement in a very complex manner. Not to say that it is not effective but, it takes too long toget to the point. The task 2 essay scores better when the discussion is dealt with in a duect, conversational tone.This is not a vocabulary exercise. It isa test of comprehension and logic in the English language. The opinion statement is also a problem as it does not respond to the given questions. Instead, it alters the prompt discussion focus. This makes the restatement + opinion unrelated to the orginal discussion. It is a failure.  
  
Topic Question Guide: What different ways do companies use to increase sales? What is the most effective one?  
Response: No matter what sale strategies each company are applying, they are aiming at the similar target, for the increase in revenues.  
  
The discussion just goes downhill to a failing score from therear the writer continued to disregard the discussion questions. The writer shows an inability to follow instructions and respond clearly to the instructions by choosing one most effective marketing method. Though the writer sees the response as correct, it is actually an incorrect discussion deviation.
## the number of tourists and their spendings

  
  
Overall, there were big gaps in two mentioned categories. Tourists' expenditure in 5 countries increased after 1 year, which is no not the case in the number of tourists at the same time.  
  
It can be easily witnessed that Italy had the lowest number of tourists in both 2 years, less than 50 million, nearly a half of France's one. The USA came second in this category with nearly 70 millions tourists. Spain and China shared the same figure, at 57 million travellers in 2012. During 2 examined years, only China's number was recorded to fall, contrast to 4 other countries, whose increases were less than 3 million.  
  
Turning to tourists' spending, it was the USA that took the highest, at more than $100 million, nearly three times compared to Italy, whose number was around $40 million in 2 years. French and Spanish tourists' expenditures were quite similar, at around $55 million dollars. China came the least in this list, with $50 million dollars from tourists. All of these countries experienced a rise in traveller's spending, the highest of which is nearly $13 million from the USA.  
  
*
Overall, there were big gaps in two mentioned categories.  
This essay will automatically fail. The required and most important paragraph, the summary overview, is missing from the presentation. It went directly to the trending statement. So the essay is incomplete as the presentation development as required was not met. Only a partial, non-passing score can be applied to the topic accuracy/interpretation.  
  
The overall analysis also tends to be incomplete and insufficiently analyzed. There is clear evidence that the writer did not take the time to study, assess, and analyze the data in a manner expected of a Task 1 essay. It will not pass the test.  
  
It is unfortunate that the writer thinks he has the ability to review and advice other students here as if he knows what he is talking about, when he fails to spot and correct errors in his own work. Don't give advice since you will most likely lead other students here to fail their own tests. Give advice only if you do not need any one else's advice anymore.