dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
## success is not only made by persistence but also by talent and luck

  
  
The reason why many people have spent a bunch of time practicing one thing but still can't become an expert is that success is not only made by persistence but also talent and luck. According to Daniel Levitin's research, no one has found a case in which true world-class expertise was accomplished in less than 10,000 hours. In other words, 10,000hours of practice is the only one of the conditions to become experts. There may be several possible factors that make people who get notable rewards and those who can't reach their goals become different. First of all, an uncontrollable factor is a talent. Although it is said '' hard works beats talent when talent doesn't work hard'' it is hard to beat when talent works hard as well. Secondly, luck is the indispensable key. Some people might be lucky to find an efficient and effective way at the very beginning, without spending time trying and fumbling. Furthermore, some people might be born in a better environment where provides them the best teacher, equipment, and support. A professional teacher can share their experiences and provide appropriate guidance; high equipment allows them to do more with less; support from the surrounding can strengthen a person's mental and build self-confidence. Third, a person's mentality and attitude may have a direct impact on the result. Most accomplished people stay optimistic in difficult situations, they don't give up easily when they encounter setbacks. Also, they love what they are doing. Most important is that they are just trying to become better rather than keep thinking about how much effort has been put in. In conclusion, achieving world-class expertise not only request an amount of practice in their fields but also many others conditions. However, hard-working, one of the variables that can set us apart from others, is the only thing we can control. The only thing we need to do is stop comparing ourselves with others and do our best to become an ideal self.
Did you mean to use this presentation as a Task 2 essay or just for basic English writing practice? Specific task application is required so that the proper review criteria can be used in assessing your work. Anyway, I can still do a basic review for you based on this work. so, here it goes .  
  
The main problem that is immediately obvious has to do with page formatting. The text is to tight on the page. Work on using paragraph presentations. Spacing is important to the reader who needs to have clear reading pauses to better understand the written content. For each numerical ordinal, use a new paragraph. Paragraph separations will also help you better discuss the paragraph content by presenting better developed ideas.
## free time activities - the line graph

  
  
The line graph illustrates the proportion of the old people doing different activities in their spare time in the period of 30 years starting in 1980 in America.  
  
Overall, it is clearly evident from the graph that the percentage of free time activities done by the elderly greatly differed over the time frame. While the percentages of most of the given activities witnessed an upward trend, that of going to the theatre decreased slightly. By the end of the period, hiking is preferred the most among the five activities.  
  
As can be seen from the graph, in 1980, watching TV took the lead with 60% of the old people, which was twice as large as the percentage of people reading and almost three times as large as that of surfing the Internet. The first 20 years witnessed a gradual increase in the rates of the elderly watching TV and surfing the Internet, both rising by 10%. By contrast, the figure for reading hit the bottom at only 20% in 2000. From 2000 to 2010, there was a slight decrease in the number of people watching TV, while that figure for reading and surfing the Internet went up rapidly to 60% and 50% respectively.  
  
In 1980, the percentages of old people attending the theatre experienced a quick drop to 30% in 1990, before increasing to approximately 45% in 2010. The number of people joining hiking started at only 20%, that figure went through a period of dramatic increase to 80% at the of the period, surpassing the number of people watching TV, which was only 65%.  
  
*
30 years  
Wrong time reference. The measurement represents 40 years or, if you want tobe more specific, 4 decades. Your information must be accurate to proveyou paid attention to the image information.  
  
most of the given activities  
Please remember to enumerate the activities before you begin to use it in specific reference points within your report. This is needed fora proper data summary report.  
  
hiking is preferred  
" Was preferred ". Be conscious of the timeline in relation to grammar usage. These all happened in the past. Therefore past time references , words, and phrases need to be used. Incorrect time reference affects your ERA score.  
  
number of people watching TV,  
Use another synonym for the old people. Senior citizens was one alternative word you did not use. Use as many as you canfor the LR score.
Hi guys, I've just started training my writing skill, hope you-all would give me some advice about my essay, thank you so much:  
  
## summarise the information from the chart

  
  
The given chart illustrates different reasons which made people move to the capital city of a particular country between 2000 and 2015. Overall, there was an increase in the number of people moving for employment, study, family/friends and adventure.  
  
At the start of the period, employment was the most popular reason with about 60,000 people. Then, it climbed steadily and reached a peak at over 90,000 in 2010 before slightly falling to just below 90,000 people in 2015.  
  
On the other hand, the number of people who went to the capital for study just started at about 25,000 in 2000. After that, the figure rose by about 65,000 over the given period.  
  
In 2000, family/friends and adventure were the lowest figure shown on the chart, just around 10,000. Over the 15-year period, the figure for family/friends was moderately higher than the adventure in 2015, at just above 20,000 and nearly 15,000 respectively.  
  
*
The given chart  
Familiarize yourself with the task 1 images. These are all charts by default. The specific image name is needed in the summary. In this case, refer to it as a line chart. Specific and accurate references are required in the TA section and would help your LR score as well.  
  
The image would have been better reported using the 3 paragraph format. You did not reallyhave enough information for a " paragraph presentation, which is whyyou only wrote 152 words. The more concise presentation would have allowed you to write more in a proper comparative presentation that included measurement equal point references.
***Some countries, young people are not only richer but also safer and healthier than ever before. However, they are less happy.***  
## What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

  
  
Although teenagers nowadays are wealthier, more secure and healthier, they are less joyful. I believe this is because of the pressure that parents put on their children, and they must take steps to mitigate these problems.  
  
There are two major reasons why children are less satisfied nowadays. Firstly, many parents spend too much time working to ensure that their children will lead a fuller life. However, Parents usually do not realize that children will not be happy if they do not receive regular interaction from their parents. Secondly, many parents expect their children to excel in every field, and this puts too much pressure on children. For instance, if some children do not bring a straight A to home, they will be blamed, or in the worst scenario, be punished. Therefore, the teenagers struggle with all these pressures and might not find pleasures in their life.  
  
However, there are several actions that parents could do to increase their child's happiness. Firstly, parents should spend more time with their children rather than just give them a fuller life. They can do simple things like eating dinner together, or it is easier to give them hugs and kisses before they go to school. By doing this, the children will feel valued and loved, and they will be more secure and joyful. A second measure would be for parents to reduce expectations of their children. In other words, parents must know the true abilities of their children and pay attention to their own interests in order to advise them to follow the parent's direction. Thus, children may do what they really like, find joy in learning, and when they achieve something, they will consider that as a motivation to move on.  
  
In conclusion, parents should understand that a fuller life does not give their children happiness, but they do. In my opinion, only if parents truly lend an ear to their children, can the children have a memorable childhood.
pressure that parents put on their children  
Use an example to support this statement then expand it in the causes paragraph. That would create a more solid thesis explanation based on your opinion.  
  
they must take steps  
such as? Again use a direct response to show your discussion path and create a summary of your discussion / outline. These presentations relate to the TA score.  
  
Firstly  
Secondly  
Avoid the use of numerical ordinals. These transition words will not increase your C+C score in the same mannena transition phrase /sentence would  
  
In other words,  
You have a tendency to use word fillers that do not have a scoring benefit. Use direct discussions whenever you can. Each sentence should be aimed at a score increase.  
  
only if parents truly lend an ear to their children, can the children have a memorable childhood.  
This is not referred to in the original prompt. Do not change the discussion focus at any point in your discussion due to scoring specifications.
## cinema attendance statistics

  
  
The chart describes how many people of different ages watched movies in the cinema once a month in Great Britain from 1984 to 2000.  
  
Overall, there was an increase in the proportion of people going to the cinema, with the most significant rise was seen in the figure for teenagers and was the highest number throughout the period.  
  
The percentage of adolescences was about 18% in 1984, after which it sharply increased to around 55% in 1999 and kept growing gradually to reach a peak at just under 60% in 2000. The figure for people 35 and over years old witnessed a similar change, which rose gradually before ending the period at roughly 15%.  
  
Approximately 10% of kids watching in the cinema in 1984, with a subsequent increase to nearly 40% in 1999, but later dropped to 32% in the next year. Similarly, the figure for those who were 25-35 age saw a rapid growth in the first decade, followed by a leveling off in the next five years and a final rise to 32%.  
  
*
The chart  
Incorrect image reference. This is a line graph, not a chart. familiarize yourself with the image names to prevent image misrepresentations that could lower your TA score due to an incorrect summary overview.  
  
cinema, with the  
This is a run-on. A period should be used in place of a comma. That would have beena more grammatically correct presentation of the second data set, with the next sentence starting with, "The" instead.  
  
adolescences  
Lexical error. You meant adolescents, referring to young children rather than adolescence wich is the growing stage of a child. Do not use words if you are not sure of the usage. Do not risk a collective LR deduction consideration.  
  
The essay is mainly presented in run-on form. These successive errors could create significant deductions in GRA points that could cause a final failing score.
## Electronic calculators should not be allowed in school

  
  
The meaning of using the electronic calculators has been increasingly significant in fast moving and dynamic society. The question here is whether calculators bring good than harm to children has caused a heated debate. Before giving a reasonable answer to that it is important to look at the debate from following angles.  
  
On the one hand, many people believe that calculator is vital demand which serves for education purposes. In other words, this may be regarded as in the education programs, the student should apply to methods about using calculator to do exactly their homework. Perhaps one typical reason why that argument remains valid is using calculator is to conduct in the school because it helps pupils can be easy to do homework and save time; hence, students can have leisure time to relaxing by participating plenty of outdoor activities. More importantly, a considerable factor that could justify this is electronic calculators can help student check the result accurately when they cannot meet the teacher to finding answers on holiday or on the weekends. All things considered, electronic calculator is a benefit equipment which offers high accuracy.  
  
On the other hand, some individuals agree that many children are need to learn mental arithmetic proficiently before using calculator. From another perspective, we can see that people who give some this idea desire their children can be become more flexible in many situations when pupils do not have nearby calculator. Therefore, almost parents just only allow their children to use this assistance when they have enough age so these parents admire many schools where should apply to use calculator for children to over 12-year-old because the parents believe that in this age many pupils maybe have some correct cognitions. There exist examples of such, and the clearest one is the case of in the present, more and more many schools all around the world start a variety of researches and tests of mental arithmetic methods like in Indian country, many children are learnt a method what helps them calculate quickly by using some fingers to count. In short, many good methods that have been implemented and are being implemented until now. In my opinion, I think it is very fundamental and important to study by mental arithmetic without depend on electronic calculators.  
  
In conclusion, this writing examinies a variety of aspects of the given question. Taking a broader speculation of the matter, the result also lies in how people from various backgrounds and ages might interpret it. Where as this matter would remain open for further discussion, I state my view that what the government should do is to give some policies to encourage the school to prevent the misuse of electronic calculators.
Before giving a reasonable answer to that  
Without a copy of the original prompt to base your response on, I cannot tell how this essay should be written. I can only hazard a guess and work from there. My guess is you were to agree or disagree with the topic. You wanted be sure that you gave a safe answer by not giving a straight opinion. Unfortunately, in a task 2 essay, a non- response tothe direct question is worse than giving an opinion. That is because your essay changed the discussion formatto a comparative discussion rather than a single opinion defense.  
  
Your prompt restatement does not offer a clear line of discussion for the presentation. When a thesis statement is not present, it becomes difficult to follow the flour of discussion. Why was there a sudden reference toa government solution? Suck a solution scenario was never implied.  
  
I have to stop my review at this point. Like I said an accurate review is difficult without the reference prompt. My current review is based on an assumption. Provide the prompt next time to recieve an accurate review.
## Automatic Photo Booth

  
  
This picture elucidates how to produce a photo by using machine which is known as automatic photo booth. This machine gives several instructions whether inside or outside in order to make clients can use appropriately.  
  
In the initial stages of process, the customers need to put some coins into the input coinage. Thereafter, the candidates are provided 2 options of picture format to print the photo out, such as a large format or 4 passport-sized photos. Besides that, the opportunity for choosing colored or black and white photos, but is obliged to be colored for a passport. Ultimately, the photo will be delivered within a minute.  
  
Cut to inside the photo cabinet that has some facilities. In the center ground, before taking a photo the customers are able to fit their position by using adjustable stool and don't forget to close the curtain during the process. On the top of fronted wall there is a mirror that services the clients to check whether they ready or not, and slightly below on the eye level there is a lens. Subsequently, on the top left there is a lamp, once you push the rope you will see a light single flash after 3 seconds.  
  
*
The task 1 essays requires the exam taker to summarize the information provided. The summary cannot exceed 175-190 words. This is based on the 20 minute writing time limitation. Your essay is only a bit short of the task sword requirement. Your presentation is over-written. Though you will not be penalized for it, the word count opens your presentation to more writing deduction possibilities.  
  
This picture **elucidates**  
While you are using an advanced English word, it does not flow naturally with the presentation. The examiner looks at not only the word meaning, but the applicability of the word in an everyday presentation. The word was used in the right context, but does not fit the presentation format. Do not aim to impress the examiner with impressive vocabulary. Justead, aim to use everyday or common English words that better suit the audience of your writing.  
  
clients can use appropriately.  
What is the trend? Which method is simpler to use? Why? You failed to present that in the report.  
  
The overall presentation could be more concise. More significant reporting could have helped. Aim for brevity next time. Be conscious of theTask 1 scoring factors you have to meet with less words.
**Topic:  
  
## Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects.

  
*Other people think that in today's world subjects like science Science and technology are more important than History.  
Discuss both the views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example from your own knowledge or experience***  
  
In today's society we are living in a world where the important level of subjects is a heated topic and often discussed.  
While many people believe that history is one of the most crucial subjects, others think that students should focus on other subjects such as science and technology. From my perspective, history as well as science subjects play the equal important role in our life. The main purpose of this essay is to discuss both sides of this argument and give the reasons behind my opinion.  
  
The first and foremost, history is appreciated because it helps students develop their patriotism and have thorough insight into historical problems. For example, Vietnamese students are taught about the historical highlights in Viet Nam like the war and many great figures who sacrificed because of the peace and independence of their country. In addition, the young generation can understand how their ancestors escape from colonization. Therefore, students would take pride in their origin and have the responsibility to protect and improve their country in the future.  
  
On the other hand, I advocate those who believe that subjects like technology and science are more crucial than history. Nowadays, the advance of technology gives the young generation many opportunities to get a good job with the high income. Due to the diversity of career opportunity, students put more emphasis on studying these subjects. For instance, data analyst is one of the highly paid careers and also recruited by many companies.  
  
In conclusion, both history and science subjects have own importance. While history helps people enhance their understanding about the ups and downs of their country, science subjects give them a career opportunity. Hence, people need to balance between both subjects instead of concentrating on just the one. (292 words)
~~The main purpose of this essay is to discuss both sides of this argument and give the reasons behind my opinion.~~  
It is not necessary to explain the discussion instructions. Your clear thesis statement as represented by the previous sentences already accomplished that task. Repeating the instructions do not help increase your score. It is the thesis statement that does that through TA compliance.  
  
There is a problem in the reasoning presentation though. While the first presentation is general enough, the lack of third person pronoun usage implies this is a personal statement rather than an insight into the public point of view. Another problem is that the general discussion of the second reason is missing. You went directly to your point of view. This will cause a lower, possibly non-passing score. This will be due to the missing 2nd public discussion point. Read the instructions carefully. It asks you to :  
  
Discuss both the views and give your own opinion.  
That instruction is indicative of a 3 paragraph comparison essay.  
  
While the discussion is relevant and partially on-point, you have to make sure that you use the correct discussion format to boost the all important TA score and, the C+ C presentation for clarity purposes in relation to the prompt.
***Some students decide early in life to pursue vocational careers that ivolve cooking or baking. For them, it is better to study their chosen occupations in high school rather than regular subjects.***  
  
## To what extent do you agree?

  
  
Nowadays, more and more students want to pursue vocational careers such as those involving cooking or baking rather than learn the others. They, therefore, decide to learn their chosen jobs right in high school. This trend is different from the general trend that leads to some controversies in society. As for me, I hold the view that they should study their major subjects in high school rather than start their career early. This essay will discuss this viewpoint and explain why I disagree with it.  
  
First of all, when students choose their vocational careers and start to learn them in high school, they can not concentrate on their major curriculum. Research shows that when pupils spend their time on vocational education in their high school, they often abandon their regular subjects such as Maths or Science. They, therefore, get bad marks in their record, even can not graduate and must repeat their semester.  
  
Moreover, pupils who choose their career right in their high school years have a big possibility to repent in the future. According to the Saigon Times, 90% percent of young employees from 16 to 20 are not satisfied with their career and want to learn another specialization. They spend their whole high school years learning a vocational major and now they must spend about 4 or 5 years more to learn what they really want. However, these years are more difficult because they are rusty on their knowledge in high school. Therefore, they can not keep up with their peers.  
  
In summary, students nowadays want to start their careers soon, so they learn vocational education right when they are in high school. However, I am against this opinion because this decision can prevent them from concentrating on their main curriculum and they can be fed up with their careers in the future.