dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
Your summary overview is not changed enough to convince the examiner that you did not just cut and paste the original prompt instructions into your own writing. Brush up on your synonym words so that you can learn to use the word equivalents of the more common keywords used in the Task 1 essays. Reading a dictionary and remembering the meaning of words can help you better your vocabulary and synonym usage as pocket dictionaries often contain synonym references within the definition presentations.  
  
The content of the summary overview should not simply mention that there are 4 fields involved in the measurement. Part of the accuracy of the presentation is the listing of these fields. That way the examiner will not be surprised when you suddenly start referring to these fields within the essay. The clarity of your summary requires this information. It directly relates to your TA and C&C scores.  
  
Try to write between 150-190 words for this task. The idea is to stick to reporting the facts immediately, without causing too much irrelevant word usage in your essay. with 203 words, you are most likely blurring the meaning of your factual presentations. As some people would say; "Just the facts please." That is how you write the task 1 essay. Focus on the quality of the information, the grammar, and the punctuation marks. You needed to use a comma between the words 0.6 million and respectively (0.6 million, respectively).  
  
Since this is a factual essay, the information is based on complete and precise information from the chart. Terms of uncertainty such as "relatively low" should be avoided. This is an example of irrelevant word usage in a Task 1 essay. Just the fact. Precise word references must be used. Actual measurements whenever possible. No guessing word references.  
  
Several run-on sentences exist in your essay. Always separate your sentence information using either a comma or a period. A period being the preferred separation method for sentences within a paragraph. Remember, you need at least 3 sentences per paragraph. Single long sentences containing several thought presentations will receive severe GRA markdowns.
*Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems.*  
  
## Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

  
  
Nowadays, there are different views about whether the extinction of particular species is the primary environment issue. While some people argue that the problem of endangered animal and plants is important, I support the idea that other natural problems are more vital.  
  
The are many reasons why it could be argued that the risk of endangered wildlife and plants is the most crucial problem of our worsening environment. Firstly, the increasing number of endanger species is damaging the food chain. It can cause the entire food web off balance if particular species die out. Secondly, it is detriment to natural diversity. The natural cycle might be completely destroyed in this respect. However, saving individual species should be the main focus is reputable, there are other problems deserve out attention.  
  
In spite of the above arguments, I would agree that other natural crisis is more significant these days. Many countries are calling action to reduce the pollution such as air pollution and water pollution. The rising trends of acid-rain emission has become a tremendous threat to natural habitants and water resource. If the pollution become severe, the speed of global warming would become faster. Furthermore, the increasing trendy for plastic production is another urgent issue. More and more plastic has been discarded and a little of it can be degraded. As the result, a lot of animals have been killed by plastic product. These environmental problems are putting our nature at risk.  
  
In conclusion, although the loss of wildlife and plants seems important. I personally think the impact of other natural disasters are posting more threat to the environment.
This is a 5 paragraph essay. That means you need 3 body paragraphs to properly address the prompt. The 3 body paragraph should be composed of stand alone paragraphs for the 3 topics provided which are:  
  
Par .1 - Animal extinction  
Par. 2 - More important environmental problems (greenhouse effect, global warming, melting of the icebergs, loss of agricultural land to real estate, etc. )  
Par. 3 - Personal opinion  
  
The original prompt always dictates the number of paragraphs you have to write based on the number of discussion topics presented. In this case, there were 3 topics included. Hence, 3 body / discussion paragraphs required.  
  
Your discussion points per paragraph should be limited to one topic each due to the information requirement of each paragraph:  
- Topic sentence  
- Reasoning  
- Example  
- Additional explanation  
- Transition Sentence  
  
An example of this type of paragraph, based on your first paragraph is:  
  
*The survival of man relies on how plants and flowers function in the wild. Plant leaves and flowers create carbon dioxide, which is the main component of oxygen which man needs to survive. However, plants and flowers wither and die during droughts. That means that the bees that carry the flower pollen to other places to help seed plants across the globe won't be able function and, as a result natural oxygen cannot be created. Considering this effect, then the people who believe that there are other more important environmental issues might be wrong.  
  
Environmental issues such as ......  
  
Considering these discussion points, I would have to say that...*  
  
While the discussion points are present in your paragraphs, you need to do a better job at developing your discussion reasons and transition points. Keep it simple. Don't try to over discuss the topics. Clarity of discussion is more important than the quantity of discussion in a Task 2 test. While this work is good, it could have been better. Focus on scoring through quality of your written work instead of the quantity of the words in your essay.
## Mev-corona virus

  
  
Mev-corona is such a pandemic emergency now . I agree with it  
Mev -corona is old virus but rating of tranmission virus fast expanding . The rises of virus is dramatically go up which causes instand death  
Virus was first defined at A.S in 2012 caused the viral respiratory disease . Normally it's symptoms include fever , cough and shortness breath as the same as flu . However the different between the disease and the another types flu that starts 1 day and up 7 days . Otherwise the new pandemic due to faster die than normal flu . The new virus has been discovered in Wuhan , China spread quickly aroung the world . Right now, the confirmed cases inflected around the world are more than 70.000 cases and the confirmed deaths are over 1200 humans . The virus spreads from person to person by these droplets of an infected person . The pandemic is very dangerous now but some peoples not to afraid about it because we have several protection which is advised by WHO . Fristly , you can wash your hand at least 20 minutes before eating and after coughing or sneezing . Avoid going to the crowned places and covering your face by mask  
  
Although the pandemic is dangerous but we have more basicly steps to protect ourselves to the virus  
  
p/s I have just written task 2 . Thank you for feedback every one . I 'm glad to see more comments clearly about my essay
**WARNING ! STUDENTS ARE NOT ALLOWED TO SCORE ESSAYS !! STUDENT SCORING = SUSPENSION !!!**  
  
I cannot properly review this essay because it is a failing score discussion. A task 2 essay always has a minimum of 250 words. You only have 214 words. Due to the points deducted for the missing word count In this case, your deduction will be at least .25 in the score band because of the missing word count. Add the other grammatical, lexical, and clarity issues with your writing and your work will ensure that you cannot pass the test. You may want to write another essay and this time, post the full prompt that was given for the discussion so that you can receive a proper review and score assessment from me. I'll give you a chance. You are obviously a first timer who is doing self study. So I'll give you a break and let you have a do-over on your first essay.
@Holt  
thank you examiner for clearly feedback  
yes , I 'm doing mysefl study  
and this is first time I've written task2 essay  
hope you give me receive a proper in email please  
  
examiner  
Could you show me how to write the task2 ilet with tillte : Most people have forgotten the meaning behind traditional or religious festivals;  
during festival periods, people nowadays only want to enjoy themselves.  
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
I would like to know if there is anything different I should do before submitting this. Thanks. :)  
  
## my brother and I - siblings can be very different

  
  
Most siblings have a lot of things in common, like the same looks and interests. Although my brother and I may not look very alike, we still have several similarities. Both my brother and I may be blood related, but we are very different ranging from appearance to interests.  
  
One of many similar things about us, is our interest. While this may be one of strong points in similarity, it also contains a few of our differences. While we both enjoy playing piano, and singing, I play violin as a third instrument, while my brother plays saxophone. And although we both play piano, I normally play classical pieces such as Minuet In G Major by Sebastian Bach, but my brother prefers to play songs such as Man In The Mirror by Micheal Jackson. The last difference in our interests is that my brother has always been more active and likes to play soccer. On the other hand, I would much rather be inside relaxing or doing schoolwork.  
  
Most siblings have similar appearances, but different interests, but my brother and I are just the opposite of that. While we both are musically inclined, there are many different things about our appearances. While my brother has very dark brown hair, I have dirty blonde hair. Another thing is that while I'm am more full-figured, my brother is very lean. Despite our physical differences, we also have some physical similarities. Such as, that we both have dark brown eyes and glasses. Moreover, we both have long eyelashes and smile the same.  
  
In conclusion, you can see that although related, siblings can be very different. Next time you see your friends sibling, try not to assume that they look, talk, smile, or laugh the same.  
  
I would like to know if there is anything different I should do before submitting this. Thanks. :)
The are some odd world choices throughout this essay. Firstly," same looks and interests". "have dark brown eye and glasses"  
The sentence should be amended to "similar appearance and characteristics " and "wear glasses"  
~~One of many similar things about us, is our interest.~~ We both have a great passion in music, but our taste in music varies considerably.  
  
~~And although we both play piano,~~ In spite of the fact that we both play piano, I favor classical pieces such as Minuet In G Major by Sebastian Bach. My brother, on the other hand, prefers to play popular songs such as Man In The Mirror by Micheal Jackson. o, ~~The last difference (...) or doing schoolwork.~~  
  
Our personality are extremely different. My brother is an extrovert person who enjoy outdoor activities, while I am an introvert individual. In my spare time, I prefer to stay at home and relax.  
  
 ~~Most siblings have similar appearances, but different interests,~~ With regards to out appearance,............. ~~Moreover, we both ... smile the same.~~ Moreover, his smile is just as splendid as mine.  
  
It is self-explainable that you and your brother are blood-related, so that sentence can be deleted.  
＊Use a wide range of vocabularies and try not to use the same adjective more than two times.  
＊Improve your grammar and tone.  
＊Organise your essay structure. Connect one point to the other points.  
  
You have shown the ability to elaborate certain ideas. But this essay seems superficial and need further improve at this moment.  
Practice makes perfect. Keep up the good work! :)
I am not sure if you are discussing similarities and differences among basic siblings or, similarities and differences among twins. There is no clear indication of this in the essay. As such, it is difficult for the reader to understand what the point of this essay is. Though your discussion does inform the reader about how your brother has different characteristics from you, the need to understand why this is important isn't there.  
  
Everyone knows that siblings have differences, but often wonder about the difference among twins. So it is the "twin" difference that should be indicated. Otherwise, you will need to identify your difference by age as well by character and interests. Older siblings have different interests from their younger siblings. So that type of discussion would make more sense to the reviewer. Clarify the reason for the discussion and whether it refers to twins or age related differences between blood siblings.  
  
Not all siblings have similar appearances, unless they are twins. Siblings can also share the same interests. They don't necessarily need to be different at every level. Your reference to this in the essay generalizes the similarities in siblings. Your discussion seems to focus on the "twining" discussion and the differences that exist among twins. Was that it? If not, then you need to revise the essay to clarify what type of sibling discussion you are talking about.
Hi. This is my essay for the prompt about car ownership in big cities. It would be grateful to hear your comments and feedbacks since I am studying for the IELTS exam and my desirable writing band score is 7.5 (which I think is ambitious). Thank you :)  
  
***CAR OWNERSHIP IS PROBLEMATIC***  
  
Prompt:  
Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now 'one big traffic jam'. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from using their cars?  
  
My answer:  
*The fact that many people today can afford a car for commutation and travelling has raised concerns about traffic congestion in urban areas. From my perspective, I totally agree with this and believe there are several measurements for tackling the issue.  
  
Economic progress in some developing countries, such as Vietnam, is arguably the main reason why the car ownership in big cities is increasing. In the last 10 years, many families in Vietnam have been able to purchase an expensive private vehicle like car, whereas most households in the past relied heavily on the use of a cheaper mode of transportation, such as motorbike. Furthermore, it is easy to understand that travelling by car brings about more convenience and privacy for drivers than motorbikes or public transportation, which have a notoriety for social crimes such as public harassment or daylight pickpocketing. There is also another explanation for the increase of car ownership. For example, the increasing rate of urbanization has eventually led to the development of infrastructure in big cities, allowing thus creating more space for car.  
  
Since this has in turn resulted in a plethora of road problems, such as traffic jam, it is necessary for the government and individuals to take actions. One solution proposed by the authorities in Hanoi is to impose heavy fees on reckless driving behaviours and increase the registration fees for license, which may discourage people to buy car for personal purposes. In addition, some cities in the world, such as Seoul, have been popular for their solid public transportation system, reducing number of private vehicles on the road and avoiding traffic jam. On a smaller scale, people should acknowledge the problematic use from car and educate themselves to switch to other public means of transportation or bicycles.  
  
In conclusion, the number of car in cities is increasing because of economic development, privacy and urbanization. However, this is also associated with high volume of traffic, and therefore, imperative measurements should be taken as soon as possible to deal with the issue.*
*In the last 10 years, many families in Vietnam have been able to purchase an expensive private vehicle like car, whereas most households in the past relied heavily on the use of a cheaper mode of transportation, such as motorbike* Personally, I think this statement does a little bit lighten your argument. In fact, you've mentioned Vietnam **as a developing country**. Therefore, in some way, you've made readers believe that *car ownership* hasn't actually **increased RAPIDLY**  
  
Furthermore in your second body part, instead of using the word ~~this~~ , you should write the whole. E.g: "augmented car ownership " or at least, let it be " this trend" ," this phenomenon" ,...  
  
"In addition, some cities in the world, such as Seoul, have been popular for their solid public transportation system, reducing number of private vehicles on the road and avoiding traffic jam" I think this is an example so you should've given another statement/solution before.  
  
Overall, in my opinion, you've done a great job. Your grammar, word choices and ideas are very good. I actually admire you very much.
**WARNING ! STUDENTS ARE NOT ALLOWED TO SCORE ESSAYS !! STUDENT SCORING = SUSPENSION !!!**  
  
I am wondering why you are asking to be scored for this essay. You were already starting to score student essays here before I warned you to stop it on pain of suspension. You need to be humble and admit that you are not capable of scoring your essays or anybody else's because your work is riddled with problems, just like every other student at this forum. Otherwise, what are you doing here? In fact, I am inclined not to score your essay because you seem to be so good in scoring others.  
  
There are actually several sentence starters that examiners dislike reading in a Task 2 test. This includes "The fact that..." because the students tend to think that their statements should be taken as factual evidence when these are not. The whole task 2 essay is only based on personal opinion, not on research, not on verified and searchable information. So there are no "facts" in the presentation. Refrain from using that phrase in your presentations. Specially since you did not do an accurate paraphrase of the opening statement. You need to represent all of the information in the paraphrase or you will lose points for beginning your discussion too early instead of paraphrasing the prompt. By the way, you are not being asked to agree or disagree with the prompt so that is a throw away and almost totally threw your essay into prompt deviation territory. Watch out. Address only what the prompt is asking you to address. Focus on the prompt requirements, not showing off your English vocabulary. Which, by the way, is questionable.  
  
The essay is asking you to look back 30 years, not 10 years. Depending upon how old you are, you may or may not know the traffic situation that existed in Vietnam over that time frame. It would be better for you to not address a time frame in your essay to be on the safe side. Even better, always refer to progress over 30 years of transportation in your country instead.  
  
Again, do not focus on number of reasons. Focus on the quality of the reasons and discussion. So adding that those last 2 lines that started a new topic but did not properly explain the reason, that did not help your score at all.  
  
You forgot to summarize the actions the government has taken to prevent the use of cars in Vietnam. That was part of the concluding summary.  
  
Sorry, I just can't score your essay, lest I be misconstrued. You might be disappointed by the score I will give it.
@Holt  
Thanks for your feedbacks. I promise to be humble in the future. I got my suspension once and was lucky to retrieve my account. However, I still want to know my score because I want to know my current level (so that I won't bad-mouth again) and I am also self-studying to prepare for the exam as well. I am really sorry if I had offended anyone before and I promise I would never do that again. This has been a real blow to me.
**Topic:**  
## The diagrams below show the site of a school in 2004 and the plan for changes to the school site in 2024.

  
  
The two images provide the layout of a school as it was in 2004 and the plan for construction in the year 2024. It is apparent that the main change for 2024 involves a new school building, for the purpose of accommodating more students.  
  
In 2004, the number of total students was 600 people. It is clear from the picture that many tresses were planted on the edge of the campus. The main school buildings were sited on the north, separated by a pedestrian. There was a sport area situated in the end of the sidewalk.  
  
A glance at the photo provided reveals that the school is anticipated to accommodate 1000 pupils in 2024. Hence, the third school building is expected to located on where sport field used to stand. The place for sport is planned to established on the opposite side of building 3, nearby the second car park. By 2024, a road will be built from the main entrance to the new car park. The main entrance and the original car park will remain the same.  
  
*
**WARNING ! STUDENTS ARE NOT ALLOWED TO SCORE ESSAYS !! STUDENT SCORING = SUSPENSION !!!**  
  
The summary overview should have been the first place where the student count comparison should have been stated. It should have been the final sentence because, properly formatted, the number of students would have indicated the trending statement for this essay. The trending statement isn't actually in the presentation. You could have presented the information for the last sentence as follows:  
  
*The population of the student community is expected to increase from 600 in 2004 to 1000 in 2024. Hence the need to redesign the student campus and buildings over the next 20 years.*  
  
Some grammar corrections are in store for your work. Change the verb form for "to located" to "to be located" since that is happening in the future. Future tense must be used for all references to 2024. The same goes for "to established" , to be established, and so on and so forth.  
  
Though there are problems with your tense usage and grammar structure, you were able to explain the illustrations to the reader. While there is some degree of difficulty in understanding your work due to the grammar range issues, it was not so stressful to read your paper that you would receive extreme points deductions for it. Basically, you have written just enough words for this essay to increase your scoring chances overall.