dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
## Writing task 1: Relationships at work

  
  
The given pie charts illustrate two relationships at the workplace of the employees between 2005 and 2009. Overall, as is observed, both relations with supervisors and companions turned out well.  
  
According to the pie charts, there was a slight increase in the number of laborers that don't have administrators at work, 4% higher than the last 4 years. The poor communication remained stable at 2% meanwhile the normal one fell to 60% in 2009. The relationship status between employees and supervisors became better, 65% workers answered they had pretty good contact with the managers.  
  
The same trend was true for the relations with co-workers. In 2009, there was no poor relationship and the fair relationship witnessed a decline with the figure estimated at 3%. In addition, the number of employees who felt pleasure with their associates grew up to 70%, 7% higher than that in 2005.  
  
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relationships at the workplace of the employees  
Relationships with whom? Refer to the groups in this section first then repeat later.  
  
turned out well.  
This is not a trending statement. Base it on highs and lows of the percentages.  
  
According to the pie charts,  
Incorrect reference. Each pie chart refers to different information. Therefore, you must individually identify the chart. That shall be the image reference point for each paragraph discussion. You can expect C + C and GRA deductions when you fail to clearly reference an image in relation to the provided data.  
  
In 2009, there was no poor relationship  
Misinformation. Look at the pie chart again. There is no O reference. The poor relationship was at 1%. You will be docked in your TA, C + C, and G R A scores for this glaring error.
***The charts below show the results of a survey of adult education. The first chart shows the reasons why adults decide to study. The pie chart shows how people think the costs of adult education should be shared.***  
  
## Write a report for a university lecturer, describing the information shown below.

  
  
The first chart illustrates 7 different reasons why adults pursue education at their age. The pie chart indicates how the surveyees think their education expenses should be allocated.  
  
It is immediately obivous that there are 2 main reasons: 'Interest in subject' and 'to gain qualifications' account for over 40 percent. Besides, accounting for a half percent of 2 reasons, helpful for current job, to improve prospects of promotion and enjoy learning are supposed causes encourage adults to learn at this age.  
  
Overall, It is apparent that many people think the main cost for adults education should be shared is individual accounting for 40 percent, next to that is employer with 35 percent and the last one is taxpayer with 25 percent. Three parts above are the cost each course should be allocated, which is an optimistic situation with learner because they aren't subject the whole spending.  
  
Can you give me a band score for this task, please?  
  
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You missed the minimum word count by 4 words. The standard is 150 - 200 words, you wrote only 146 words. The word count deduction will apply. Always meet the s word count to prevent your score from starting at a disadvantage / failing TA score.  
  
The first chart  
The pie chart  
The second image is properly identified. The first one is incompletely identified as it is missing the image identifier "bar" for the chart. To be specific, it is a " crosswise bar chart".  
  
2 main reasons  
You forgot to identify the image you will be discussing for C + C reference. For what? What is the subject of the sentence? An incomplete sentence will affect you C + C and GRA scores.  
  
supposed causes  
At what percentage rate? It varies per reason. Uhe the data, umembu your audience requirement.  
  
Overall,  
Make the change of image reference clear. Transition into the pie chart with a proper introduction. Another C + C mistake.  
  
\* Contact me privately for individual scoring services.
*Topic:  
**Some people are giving more importance to employing people with good social skills than those with good qualifications.***  
## Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

  
  
Some people believe that hiring employees who have great social skills, they would be better than high degree holders. I find this argument completely groundless as these two groups are incomparable.  
  
On one hand, the companies that employ people with excellent social skills would take advantage in some areas. To begin with, people have great soft skills such as communication, teamwork, and negotiation skills. As a part of the company, they could establish good relationships among coworkers. This thing makes a great contribution in a healthy working environment where employees can cover, address even give some advice to each other. Furthermore, the companies which hire ones knowing how to deal and keep in touch with clients, this is the best way to boost sales and earn more reputation to the companies. As a result, companies can get highly competitive potential among rivals in the trade.  
  
On other hand, the companies recruit workers with academic qualifications having benefits to what extent. Firstly, it will reduce the enormous amount of time using to train new employees to catch up with work tasks. Since high degree holders have the essential knowledge and skills in their given familiar field. As a consequence, the companies could save much time and money, so they can use these factors to reinvest in other areas such as marketing and innovating production aiming to develop and enhance the range of the companies in the market.  
  
In conclusion, in my opinion, it is unreasonable to weigh up workers who have great social skills and high degree holders due to their distinctive benefits to the companies.
ave great social skills  
The phrase still refers to the original key phrase. LR scores are only increased by your alternate word references such as:  
  
- People skills  
- Pleasing character  
- team players  
  
Regardless, you have an excellent alternative response and thesis statement at the end. You established an interesting response statement.  
  
That said, you used a comparative discussion in a single opinion essay. The idea is to convince the examiner that your opinion is valid based upon 2 defense points, discussed over 2 paragraphs. When you do not see the " compare/ discuss both views " instruction, you do not compare the 2 opinions. The reference to "or" in the instruction indicates a single opinion choice.  
  
You don't get any scoring advantage for your first reasoning paragraph because it does not support your opinion. Athough the second paragraph illustrates your opinion, the discussion will still be seen as underdeveloped due to the 1 missing supporting paragraph. Additionally, your TA score based on clarity of opinion will be directly affected by the misplaced comparison paragraph.
## Writing task 1: Line graph analysis

  
  
***Question: The graph below shows the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004.***  
  
Solution:  
The line chart shows the usage of fish and three kinds of meat including lamb, beef and chicken in a European country from 1979 to 2004.  
  
Throughout the period shown, there was a downward trend of the consumption of beef, lamp and fish. By contrast, in that European country, people increased the consumption of chicken dramatically.  
  
In 1979, fish was the most unpopular food in that given country, with only around 60 grams per person per week. In contrast, the amount of beef was the highest with approximately 220 grams per week, which compared to about 150 grams of lamb or chicken.  
  
By the end of the period, in 2004, chicken became the most popular food at around 250 grams per week instead of beef which declined significantly at only about 100 grams per week. Besides, despite fluctuations over a period of 25 years, the usage of lamb fell by 50% from 150 to nearly 75 grams per week. However, this was higher than consumption of fish which dropped at only 40 grams per week.  
  
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The line chart shows the usage  
Make this sound more professional. You could say; "The line chart shows the comparative consumption..." to indicate the chart purpose in a more academic manner.  
  
lamp  
Really now, this is such a simple spelling error and word reference mistake that it clearly shows a lack of LR review prior to submission. Deductions will follow.  
  
which compared to  
higher or lower? Compare throughout for comparative relevance.  
  
In the last paragraph, you must place pauses in the first sentence reference. Either present it as 2 seperate sentences or, place a comma seperator between the topics. That is necessary to help the reader better understand the data provided. Otherwise, you lose GRA points for a run-on sentence. You need more punctuation marks in that section. Which to use is up to you.  
  
Focus your reviews on the following:  
- Proper punctuation usage  
- sentence structure development in reference to simple and compound sentences  
- spend time editing and proofreading next time.
***Some people believe that history has little to tell us. Other people believe that people must have a knowledge of history in order to understand the present.  
  
Discuss both points of view and give your own opinion.***  
  
In general, learning about the past has been a colossal issue over the past decades. While varied people argue that it has few impacts on modern society, it is also a popular belief that historical knowledge significantly contributes to the understanding of the present world. In this essay, I will discuss both views and explain the importance of history.  
  
Without a doubt, learning about the past helps explain complicated things in the modern world. There is no way of escaping from the fact that history teaches people why and how society has developed since the ancient age. Through history lessons, children know the way scientists came up with and invented significant innovations, such as smartphones or the Internet. On the other hand, varying people would argue having a knowledge of past discoveries only reminds humankind of the old days without benefits. However, studying history does also play a vital role in motivating human beings to enhance even more by informing them about inspiring explorations in the past.  
  
Equally important, history provides learners with invaluable experience. Studying the past does not only help people realize and avoid worthless failures but also points out key factors to success. For instance, society would continue making harmful economic decisions unless they learn from the causes of global recessions the world had faced. Meanwhile, directly trying to face problems is also considered a possible solution and in this case, historical knowledge has little to tell humans. Nevertheless, this would be much more time-consuming as people could have to retry many times in comparison to drawing experience from similar situations in the past.  
  
In conclusion, while it is a popular belief that history has little influence on modern people, many would consider its significant contributions to the understanding of the present. In my opinion, I believe studying the past does play a major part in explaining things and giving experience.  
  
I'd love to see your feedback and suggestions a lot. Thanks in advance!
learning about the past has been a colossal issue over the past decades.  
There is no collosal issue being presented. Merely a difference of belieffs. You are trying to use a phrase I taught you. That is good. The bad, is that you used it improperly. / There is no "bug" reference in the prompt. Thus, indicating that you misunderstood the topic being presented.  
  
Tip: Do not just use newly learned phrases for the sake of using it. It must be referred to in the proper context otherwise, it doesn't help your score.  
  
In this essay, I will discuss both views and explain the importance of history.  
This is a repeat of the instructions, not a thesis reference. What is your opinion ? Do not explain the importance of history. Rather, support one of the 2 given reasons with a personal reason. Rather, explain how history establishes an understanding of the present or, why history is an irrelevant refence to present times. Nobody asked you to explain why history is important. Do not change the prompt requirements . An unrelated discussion will automatically get you a failing score.  
  
You portray your explanation solely from your personal view. The 3 discussion points must refer to explanations of the previous 2 groups before your own. You also only explain the importance of history. You do not make reference to the major discussion points provided The essay can and will fail since you did not follow the discussion requirements. Your discussion format is improper and doesn't follow the required format.  
  
Without a doubt,  
There is a doubt based on the given presentation. You are really failing bigtime with this essay. There are 2 beliefs because of the doubts about the importance of history.  
  
You clearly have English comprehension skill issues that can only be addressed by more comprehension exercises prior to more essay response practices.
## Writing task 1 - bar chart report

  
  
**The chart shows the percentage of women and men in one Asian country who passed when they took their driving test between 1980 and 2010.  
  
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.  
  
You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.**  
  
Given is the bar chart depicting a breakdown of male and female inhabitants passing the driving test in a particular Asian nation during a forty-year period.  
  
A brief assessment of the graph reveals that there was an upward trajectory in the proportions of both genders during the first three decades. Interestingly, the figures of females invariably outnumbered their male counterparts throughout the surveyed period.  
  
It is patently obvious that the period during 1980 and 2000 saw a gradual climb in the proportions of female test-takers. To exemplify, the year 1980 occupied roughly 48%, after which the figure increased a shade to 51% in the next one year before reaching a record high of approximately 70% in 2000. A moderate swell of 3% was observed in the researched data of females in 2010.  
  
Apparently, men experienced similar patterns as women in the equivalent timespan (1980 to 2000) with notably lower figures, occupying 28%, 37%, and 49.5% respectively. It is striking that the percentage of males who passed the test remained unaltered in 2010, at 49.5 %, which was 13.5% low compared to 63% of females.  
  
**Can you give me a band score for this task, please?**  
  
*
particular Asian nation  
It would be better for your LR score ilt you use the phrase " in no particular Asian nation " instead. When you say "in particular" that connotes the naming of a nation, which you cannot do since it was not provided. Saying "no particular" avoids the need to name a specific country.  
  
forty-year period.  
This reference is too general. It can refer to any year coverage. Refer to the specific years to help clearly inform the reader.  
  
It is ~~patently~~ obvious  
This is a redundancy since patently already means obviously. Do not repeat your word usage. Your synonym usage did that in this sentence.  
  
period during 1980 and 2000  
A period refers to successive, not selective years. This should say :  
  
*... period ranging from 1980 to 2000...*  
  
to clearly refer to a time progression. Improper sentence formation blurrs your info clarity.  
  
Specific areas for review and improvement:  
1. Grammar range and sentence structuring  
2. Vocabulary and synonym usage  
  
Your analysis is acceptable but could be shorter. A single image reference should be no more than 7 paragraphs long.  
  
\* Kindly contact me privately for comprehensive scoring services.
**TASK:**  
***Although more and more people read news on the Internet, newspapers will remain the most important source of news.***  
## Do you agree or disagree?

  
  
Despite the fact that online news is becoming increasingly popular, traditional newspapers are believed to hold the most vital postion among news readers. I strongly disagree with this statement due to a great deal of advantages online news offers.  
  
On the one hand, newspapers has its own benefits to become a vital source of information. Firstly, newspapers is the most traditional way of updating news and it is suitable for everyone. For instance, eldery people are usually keen on reading newspapers because of their habits, or people living in rural areas might choose to read newspapers because of not having Internet access. Secondly, newspapers can be trusted as it is physcial, cannot be changed and traditional press only employ professional writers or editors.  
  
On the other hand, It is undeniable that people nowadays have a preference for online news rather than newspaper. One of the key benefits is that online news service have the ability to make the articles interactive. Videos, images or voice records could be embedded alongside the text, which helps readers have a better visualization of the events narrated on the articles. Moreover, it is more accessible for people to read online news. Everyone having a portable devide like a smartphone could access to a substantial amount of news. Websites such as BBC are designed to be user-friendly, which means users could get notifications of newly-updated news and approach information from one place instead of switching between multiple websites to get news from different countries.  
  
To recapitulate, I disagree with the view that newspapers is the only efficient way of collecting news and hold a strong belief that online news is equally essential as newspapers.
Despite the fact that online news  
The original presentation is not assuming this as a fact. You should not do so either. Omit the phrase" fact that" and this statement will be more aligned with the original.  
  
I ~~strongly~~  
Use a measured response only in an extent essay. This is a mere and simple agrer or disagree presentation.  
  
Good work on your thesis presentation you clearly offer a clue as to the reasoning paragraphs topics and direction.  
  
Your reasoning paragraphs should not be comparative in nature. The instructions for discussion are not comparative in nature, only a single opinion consideration. The discussion should only focus upon how valid the reasons for your opinion are. you must disprove the importance of newspapers as a traditional news source twice. Using different reasons each time.  
  
You will not receive a score for the unrelated opinion discussion and will receive word count deductions for falling under the minimum word count. You could very well fail the test because of the inclusion of the unrelated paragraph.
Despite the fact that online news is ... the most vital position ...  
You just need to paraphrase the statement: *Although more and more people read news on the Internet, newspapers will remain the most important source of news.* Do not use "despite the fact" as it has made the idea in your sentence inconsistent with the idea in the given statement. Another issue is that "the most important source of news" should be taken into consideration when paraphrasing the statement. This one, "are believed to hold the most vital position among news readers," is not related to the reference point that newspapers remain to be the most important source of news.  
  
I ~~strongly~~ disagree with this statement ...  
I think the reason provided in your thesis statement is good. You do not need to use an intensifier like "strongly," since the question only asks whether you agree or disagree.  
  
On the one hand, newspapers has its own ...  
There are too many issues that I have seen with this one. First is "On the one hand" as a transitional device to start the discussion of your body. You have already chosen one side, and that was to oppose the given statement; therefore, it is unnecessary to use "on the one hand" to introduce the first of two contrasting points. Second is the idea in the sentence. You should not begin your body discussion by mentioning the advantages of newspapers as it is not what you are supposed to discuss. Please refer to your thesis statement.  
  
**Presenting a balanced discussion of both sides (first para and second para) must not be done in writing an agree/disagree essay; otherwise, your paper will not get a good score.**
Topic:  
## Bullying is a big problem in many schools.

  
***What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?***  
  
There has been a debate about the progress of bullying in school as a serious and worrying problem. From my perspective, several problems have resulted from this tendency and they should be tackled by a number of effective solutions.  
  
To begin with, there are some reasons why students tend to use violence to cope up with their problems instead of negotiating and persuading. First of all, with the aim of entertainment and attracting audiences, many websites are willing to produce violent and not age-appropriate programs. Hence, students frequently watch these programs on television and social media which drives them to become hot-tempered and unconscious when dealing with their issues in reality. Furthermore, along with fast-paced, while children are busy from school time to outdoor activities, parents spend their whole time with their careers. The gap between parents and offspring is wider and lacks mutual understanding. In case, when youngsters face any troubles, they find it hard to share or find support from their own family members. As a result, they would be anxious or even depressive, therefore they are able to use violence to release their negative emotion inside.  
  
On the other hand, there would be two ways to deal with the problem. Firstly, by allocating proper time to the students, parents can have a chance to timely support their children and give guidance immediately from the bad habits such as wasting student's time on playing games and neglecting their school tasks. Secondly, to solve this problem, the principal should enact stringent regulations and punishments for bad and violent behaviors, especially it is strictly forbidden for students to take videos containing fighting content and distribute them on social networks. Finally, the Ministry of Education is able to accomplish curriculum and books that involve meaningful lessons and enhance student's awareness in respecting their own body and the other's one.  
  
In conclusion, only by addressing the concerns of parents, school, and the Ministry of Education will negative attitudes and violent behaviors of youngsters be changed.