dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
Be careful with the use of tenses in the report. remember that the reference years have already passed. Therefore the use of present or current references will create grammar range deductions. Grammar scores are given based upon the obvious knowledge of the exam taker when it comes to sentence structure. This is reflectedin his ability to write grammatically correct sentences.  
  
A summary overview is considered incomplete when it does not include a listing rundown. In this case the 4 age group should be mentioned to create cohesiveness when the same is mentioned in the trending paragraph. The overview should contain at least 3 sentences. All paragraphs need to have 3 sentences at least. A 2 sentence presentation is not a complete paragraph. The examiner shall consider the paragraph under analyzed and under developed. It will not be considered coherent and cohesive enough for scoring.
*Question :  
**In the past, shopping is a routine domestic task. Many people nowadays regard it as a hobby.***  
## To what extent do you agree that this is a positive trend?

  
  
Essay:  
Shopping used to be a chore that people must do, but now it is accepted as a leisure activity that many people do in their free time. I totally disagree this trend can be beneficial because going shopping wastes one's time as well as money.  
  
One of the reasons, why I believe spending all of the spare time on strolling markets is not a good trend, is that spending free time on shopping once becomes habitual, it can take up one's plenty of personal time. Shopping usually takes longer than what people would have expected because people prefer to compare, before buying, the quality or the price of the same product from different shops. Visiting dithers stores one by one and barging with the shop keepers definitely take a long time, and the outcome of this is ending up spending two three hours for just to buy one item. A recent survey, for example, done by the World Leisure Organization shows that nowadays each person spends around 60 hours per month for shopping by average, namely the most of the spare time of a workingmen and women is used for buying stuff in malls or shopping centers.  
  
The other reason why I think it is not a positive trend to regard shopping as a hobby is that overly interested in shopping can cause unnecessary spending. People who like shopping are often the victims of those endless advertisements on new arrivals, new fashions or big offers. These people are likely to purchase and even stock up on items they don't even need at times, namely, money will be used in advance and those unnecessary things bought will expire or will be out of fashion before using, which means the money they spent on shopping is wasted. For instance, many bachelors in Shanghai City do shopping with friends as soon as they get free time, as a result almost every month they are tend to work for the credit-card repayment of previous month.  
  
In conclusion, obviously, going to shops for entertainment is waste of time and money, so I completely disagree to say it can be a positive change to consider shopping as a hobby.
The writer cannot use an opposing point of view in the development of the response. He was prevented from doing so by the prompt requirement that asks him for a clear measured agreement to the given statement. Therefore, the discussion using an opposing point of view will result in a failing score. Since he did not develop an essay based on the given discussion point, he cannot be given a passing score overall.  
  
As far as acceptable discussions go, he can only represent the positive aspect of shopping as a hobby. For example, by formatting his response as :  
  
*I agree that this is a positive trend to the extent that it promotes a healthy lifestyle by encouraging passive exercise and cardio- vascular strength.*  
  
Then using the 2 references in the discussion paragraphs. The current prompt will not allow the writer to disagree in any way. There is no allowance provided for such a response. The incorrect discussion format prevented the proper assessment of the writer's writing skills in terms of comprehension skills and related discussion development.
## Advertisements are becoming more and more common in everyday life

  
  
People think that advertisements are more likely to increase dramatically nowadays and become ubiquitous. Despite their advantages, they can have numerous disadvantages.  
It is undeniable that there is a considerable value in advertising. It is beneficial for companies to gain a large amount of money by dint of the large-scale expansion of advertising. People are more likely to be interested in noticeable billboards and commercials which raise their awareness about the products. For instance, after making a decorative poster, McDonald gained about 100,000,000 customers in 2006. Moreover, making a charismatic advertisement is a labour-intensive task and generates a diversity of employment opportunities. It demands the labour of artists, designers, painters and copywriters to create logos, content and ideas. Therefore, advertising helps government reduce the unemployment rate.  
  
Even though advertising can bring several benefits, its drawbacks should be carefully considered. Nowadays, governments are struggling to solve visual pollution due to the giant billboards and posters. Because of this, visitors can not contemplate the panoramic view. This problem can impact tourism negatively. Vinh Ha Long in Vietnam decreased by approximately 100,000 tourists each year is an obvious example. Advertising not only demolishes the beauty of natural scenery but also makes companies and organizations spend a considerable amount of money on it. Due to this, more products and services tend to have a higher cost, so we have to pay more money for them, especially for the poor in developing countries. This trend can lead to inflation.  
  
In conclusion, although advertisements have some pros, their cons are serious problems. All we have to do is minimize their difficulties and carry out the benefits.
The essay that has been written does not meet the discussion requirement. The current presentation uses an advantage V. disadvantage discussion when the requirement was to discuss (one of the 2) whether it is a positive or negative development. There is a clear lack of instruction comprehension/ understanding of how the essay was to be discussed. This led to the writer being unable to deliver a personal opinion based on the writing requirement.  
  
The response format does not answer the question properly. It was not understood by the exam taker. Therefore the task response is inaccurate. The original question required a comparative discussion of 2 reasons in the body paragraphs to be outlined as a debate. After opting for either a positive or negative opinion (choose 1), the paragraph format should have been:  
  
Sentence 1: Subject topic  
Sentence 2: Reason it is believed to be a positive/ negative result  
Sentence 3: Writer's opinion should be in support or not in support of the public opinion  
Sentence 4: Writer's reason for his opinion  
Sentence 5: Example or transition sentence  
  
The writers opinion must be cohesive across both paragraph presentations in support of his single opinion. He must not use an A V. D discussion format.  
  
That said, the failing score will have points credited for lexical resource and grammar range as there are not related to the topic for discussion directly. These points cannot lead to a passing score since the TA and C + C marks, which relate directly to the question are failing. These 2 sections cannot merit a passing score because the discussion provided is unrelated to the question being asked in the original prompt.
## Some students prefer to take a gap year between high school and university to work or travel

  
  
Nowadays, some people believe that freshmans are likely to defer university enrollment to enrich life experiences. In this essay, i will scrutinize this phenomenon.  
There are many reasons bring a lot of benefits for students which lead to teenagers have a year-long break such as pursuing their dreams, travelling or learning something interesting. Firstly, people who delay tertiary education for travelling could be hone practical skills and discover new experiences by attending some mystery adventure tours or journeys . For instance, when we had a adventure tour in the woods, there were not too many favorable conditions for daily activities like cooking or washing. At that time, we obligatorily learnt to strike fire from two pieces of flint for cooking and collect water from river for washing. In addition, finding a job which is one of the most prominent reasons to enable students to be inadequate career guidance. The pupils who have not orientation of career in the future could try different jobs and then choosing the possible occupation for themselves.  
  
Taking a gap year is getting more and more popular in the education, however, we can not deny that this phenomenon has existed many drawbacks. The foremost disadvantage that has been more parental attention is gap-year takers could be falled behind with their classmates. If the students defer university enrollment for a long haul, they will not have no reason to practice academic skills and then they may lose momentum from graduation. As a result, students to be not passionate in studying and gain low grades. Moreover, if within a pretty of graduate and no brilliant, the graduated students just find out jobs which are only entry level and receive a low salary.  
  
In conclusion, taking gap year which is getting more and more popular around the world has a lot of advantages for students. Nevertheless, we can not deny the existence of drawbacks of this phenomenon that seriously affect to the students as well as the education.
The immediate error in this presentation is the lack of proper paraphrasing of the original topic. The representation is incomplete when compared to the orginal. A lack of establishing opinion and reasoning topics have also helped create a failing opening score. The reasons relating to the disadvantage or advantage should have been immediately established in response to the direct question. The establishing response format was not achieved by the writer.  
  
In terms of discussion response, the writer was not asked to provide a personal opinion so this should have been avoided in the presentation. This is not a comparison + personal opinion presentation. By trying to influence the opinion of the reader with his own in the concluding paragraph, the writer inadvertently wrote an open ended essay which will result in a failing score due to a lack of proper concluding summary.
## the percentage of volunteers by organizations - IELTS 1

  
  
The pie charts illustrate how many a person who takes part in organizations voluntarily in 2008 and 2014.  
  
Overall, there was a significant increase in the proportion of volunteers in the environment, sport, and health care while the percentage of people who had non-profit jobs in art, education, and others decreased at the end period.  
  
The number of volunteers working in the environment sector started at 21%, which after it experienced a considerable growth to 29% in 2014. While volunteer trend can be seen in the art, reduced from 18% to 12%, worker in sports sector rise between 15% and 25% over the period.  
  
7% of people worked in non-profit heathy care organizations in 2008, with a slight climb to 8% in 2010. Conversely, the figure for a person in educational organization and others who did a job without being paid for it was 24% and 15%, followed by a drop of 17% and 9%, respectively in 2014.  
  
*
The overall word count for this essay is too short to accurately reflect the writer's reporting skills. Full marks cannot be considered for each subic section when less than 175 words are written. 158 words reflects that the writer did not really take the time to study the images. He merely glanced at it and hurriedly wrote it up. He must learn proper time management in relation to developing an analytical report. That way he can maximize his scoring potential.  
  
Offering the number of images specifically will help add exceptional clarity to the summary paragraph. Even if the years indicated infer the number of images, points will not be lost if the writer does his best to use all marked information in that section. It can only increase the score.  
  
There is a bit of information reference confusion in the trending statement One must specifically mention "at the start of the period" prior to referencing "at the end of the period" to properly represent the measurement schedule overview.  
  
Review the images in chronological order /as presented in the original report. Do not change the order because it will confuse the reader when considering information clarity.
**Topic:**  
***The graph illustrates the number of Chinese, Japanese and Indian students who enrolled at North Dean University over a five-year period.***  
## Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

  
  
The chart compares the proportion of students who come from China, Japan and India enrolled at North Dean University from 1999 to 2003.  
Overall, there was an increase in the number of Chinese and India students, while a dramatic decline was seen in the Japanese student enrollment numbers.  
  
At the start of the period, Japan had the most number of students, with over 100 students, while the figures for Chinese and Indian students was much lower, at around 20 students. The amount of Japanese student enrollment numbers started at 110, after which it experienced a sharp drop to 40 in 2001, before ending the period at 30. Opposite changes can be seen in the figures for Chinese and Indian student numbers. About 18 Indian students enrolled the university in 1999, with subsequent increase to 80 in the final year. Similarly, the figures for Chinese student enrollments had risen to 50 in 2002, before reaching a peak of about 95 in the end of the period.  
  
*
The word "enrolled" should be presented in an alternate form. Not a single word from the original presentation should be found in the reworded version as this will still be seen as a cut and paste from the ouginal. As a "chart"is a general image reference, the revised image type is now incorrect. The addition of the word "line" prior to "chart" would have been the correct alternative identification. The overview statement should have been merged into the summary paragraph as that is still apart of the short report form / summary reference.  
  
The 3 paragraph requirement for a single image report was not met. The opposing report section, being an indicator of a different reporting aspect should have been a separate paragraph reference. Differing report information, clearly not connected to the first idea should have an individually highlighted presentation.
## women's decision of marrying or not

  
  
In today's world, it is a ubiquitous propensity among women that they choose to live alone and delay their engagements. Some people attribute this situation to their strong financial capability but I firmly disapprove of them.  
  
There are several reasons that can explain why marriage still performs an indispensable service in females' lives. First and foremost, families have a meaningful role in maintaining fertility. They help prevent the issue of an aging population as well as assure the labor sources, which are pressing concerns nowadays in the world. For instance, Japan today has to face a problematic trend is that there are more and more the young select to celibate. That leads to the severe deficiency of workers and the low speed of economic growth.As a result, various sectors of this nation have to rely on migrant employees for fulfilling the job market requirements. Besides, tremendous happiness can be brought to a spouse once they start a married life. Additionally, it is irrefutable that men and women are equal at work places and women possess increasingly high salaries. This acts as an efficient method for them to shoulder the serious financial burden with their husbands as well as improve families' living standard. Last but not least, a huge amount of sentimental value is vividly offered by families. When living with loved ones, women stand golden chances of being given much affection, sharing joy together with sadness, and getting rid of lonely feelings.  
  
In conclusion, marrying or not is the own decision of each woman but it is essential to consider thoroughly as it has enormous effects on their entire life.
Do not overstate the opinion presentation by using an emotional response. This is not an extent response essay. Use the suggested response format at all times. Show that the discussion instruction was understood by limiting the response to the required format.  
  
The first sentence of the prompt restatement does not reflect the orginal discussion points accurately. Scoring deductions will apply for the unrelated discussion topic. These sorts of information will not be deducted if included as a part of the opinion reasoning presentation.  
  
The presentation requires a 4 paragraph presentation. Further deductions will be added due to the incorrect paragraphing format. Though the discussion will be awarded points based on relevance, correct paragraph formatting, as a scoring requirement was not followed.
***Some say that because many people are living much longer, the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably.***  
## To what extent do you agree or disagree?

  
  
Some individuals believe that requirement in the average age of seniors retiring from work ought to be increased due to their long life expectancy. I completely agree with this view that elderly people should spend more time doing their job before retiring.  
  
On the one hand, it will cause a variety of inexorable results to regard in the nation's economy because of the funding which expenditures for healthcare insurance, and pensions. This is because the longevity of inhabitants grows sharply and their requirement for retirement also rises so the government must spend money investing in a large number of aspects such as the construction of the nursing homes or state-of-the-art facilities for the healthcare system. However, adults are also affected due to their money spent on taxes for the nation's budget. For instance, Germany is an ageing population country so they consumed plenty of funding on equipment or support for those retired people.  
  
Moreover, unless rising the average age work, a serious lack of workforce can result from the increase in the retirement of elderly people. If the rate of natural increase plummets whereas the rate of elderly seniors who are retired climbs up, an economic crisis can be caused due to a lack of employment, especially among adults. In Japan, because of their problem with the ageing population resulting in labour shortage and the most efficient solution are to raise the age in work and labour lease from other countries, particularly some developing nations such as Vietnam, Laos.  
  
In conclusion, I believe that raising the average age in work is a compulsory task for almost nations to solute problems related to the ageing population and avoid some catastrophic results from it.  
  
This is the first time I have posted my essay. I am looking forward to your feedback on how I can improve my writing.
The writer did an almost excellent job in the prompt restatement and personal opinion. The topic presentation uses enough synonyms to not be mistaken for a cut and paste interpretation. The opinion is properly targeted but iesses out on presenting the 2 reasoning topics as a part of the supporting opinion basis. That is the discussion outline that would have helped set the scoring tone of the discussion.  
  
Another problem is that the writer used a comparative discussion for a single opinion essay. An incorrect response format since the discussion requirement only needs to justify the writer's opinion. Since there was no comparative discussion instruction provided, the discussion should not have been approached in that manner.  
  
The irrelevant discussion paragraph will not be part of the scoring consideration. It will prevent an otherwise well presented opinion from receiving a passing score since the idea development for the supporting view is considered incomplete.Full scores can only be awarded to non-prompt discussion deviant essays.  
  
When half of a 282 worded essay is non- compliant, it risks a failing score due to cohesive discussion considerations based on the prompt discussion instructions. Learn the difference between comparative and single opinion task instructions. Examples may be found at this forum for free.
## Write an essay on the positive or negative effects of science on the food we eat.

  
  
Nowadays, people spend more attention on eating. Additionally, professors and experts also say that if you have a balanced diet, you can easily maintain your health. Therefore, I believe that the amount of food we eat today has lots of positive scientific effects.  
  
Scientists have been contributing to us much useful knowledge about food. Some experts establish books and receipts to share the valuation of food which they studied. For instant, a professor said that drinking a glass of milk every day can help us prevent rickets, obesity and provide calcium as well as vitamins to our body. Besides that, their books also give us some kinds of balanced diets for different types of people such as children, adults or elders. Following these books, we can bring many benefits to our bodies.  
  
Experts not only show us some benefits of food but they also give us some ways to cook food. In the receipts, they brief us on how to combine different kinds of food or spices to make us healthier. The receipt wrote that turmeric can help us prevent stomach diseases while salmon's protein and Omega-3 fatty acid can protect our nervous system. It is such a wonderful combination of both turmeric and salmon that can help us improve cardiac healthy and block bad cholesterol.  
  
Scientists and experts try their best to research different benefits of food and study how can reserve their nutrition after cooking. As a result, their achievements support us in having knowledge about food, the ways it affects our body and how to combine it well.  
  
In conclusion, the food we eat influences to our body in positive ways, especially in scientific effects. The more knowledge we have, the healthier we will.
has lots of  
This is not an academic sounding phrase. Since the writer is practicing to write academic papers, informal English words should be avoided. " Lots" should instead refer to "several" instead. The latter being the academic and formal equivalent of the word.  
  
Word usage is an issue in this essay. Incorrect references were used at certain points in the essay:  
  
instant= instance  
healthy- health  
  
These are a few of incorrect word usage with corresponding corrections. It is clear that the writer knows what meaning he wants to convey in English, but has limited vocabulary skills in relation to his intentions. Further development of his vocabulary is necessary. These can be done specifically through fill in the blanks sentence completion exercises.  
  
Avoid the use of archaic English words to avoid confusing the readers. Use everyday modern English vocabulary. Receipts will be better understood as recipes these days.