dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
This is not a comparative essay. This is a single opinion essay which you failed to respond to in the expected manner. You are to give a direct response, within the paraphrase paragraph, to the question:  
  
*To what extent do you agree or disagree ?*  
  
The response that you gave:  
  
*I still believe that Maths and philosophy are fundamental science subjects that every child needs to learn*  
  
is incorrect. It is incorrect as it does not offer an extent of your opinion to the given topic of:  
  
*Some people think that because some children find some subjects such as mathematics and philosophy difficult they ought to be optional instead of compulsory.*  
  
The response that you should have presented is:  
  
*I greatly disagree with this suggestion because Math and Philosophy are topics students should be familiar with.*  
  
The the discussion should have been:  
  
*If one were to consider that most of the high paying jobs these days involve some sort of math, then the opinion that math should be optional learning is faulty. Consider if you will that... This is one reason that I majorly oppose the optional study suggestion.  
  
One should also consider that the youth of today passionately verbalize their opinions. Therefore, Philosophy will be an area of study of great interest to them... That is why I believe you will understand when I say that I am in a strong disagreement with the idea that Philosophy should not be taught to students.  
  
These reasons largely support my opinion that.. Again, it is important for children to learn... due to the relevance of these topics in their adult lives. So I have to truly and strongly oppose the given opinion.*  
  
Stick to the given topic, use the 2 reasoning paragraphs to prove your opinion to be correct. A comparative discussion does not support an opinion, it merely explains the topics for discussion. That is not what the discussion requires.
## Which subjects for students?

  
  
**Topic**: *Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.*  
  
**Essay:**  
A much debated question is whether undergraduates should have the right to choose fields according to their aspiration or they are obligated to study future-oriented subjects. whilst being chosen subjects freely recieves widespread support, the advocacy of focusing on compulsory ones also emerges noticeably. To express my utter approval towards the latter view and provide an unbiased scale, this essay with evaluate both sides of the debate.  
  
One the one hand, there are some arguments in favor of the fact that universities should give the freedom for students to opt their suitable subjects. Firstly, this policy will restrict students to study what they have no interest at all. If students were obliged to learn subjects associated with technology or science without any enthusiasm, it would lead to unexpected results. Secondly, undergraduates are given the chance to challange themselves with enormous fields and hence to strengthen their expertise. For example, a technical student could choose to study economics as a way to accumulate necessesary skills like communicate or persuasive skills.  
  
One the other hand, those harbour the opposite viewpoint usually debunk the previous one by stating consequences of opting without any orientations. Admittedly, undergraduates do not have suffiecient knowledges which is essential for their carrer. This is because students tend to study easy subjects and ignore crutial ones for the purpose is getting high scores. With the labour market becoming increasingly competitive, lacking basic understanding enables graduates to face unemployed sittuation. This can be illustrated in the study undertaken by American professors. They indicated that the percentage of the jobless because they are inadequate science or technology skills occupies up to sixty percent in the total number of reasons causing unemployments. Thus, although there is no denying for advantages of choosing fields freely, in current modern society, it is more important for university students to study oriented subjects.  
  
In conclusion, I believe that students should study compulsory subjects associate with their future. Universitiy also should have consideration to choose the optimal subject lists to ensure graduate's carrer prospect.
You do not need to express an utter disapproval. You merely have to disapprove. This is not an extent essay. Additionally, your response format is incorrect. You must provide a strong representation or explanation of the public point of view first, then present your even stronger opposition to the discussion as your opinion. So the paragraph format should be:  
  
- Topic sentence  
- Explanation regarding public approval  
- Your opposition  
- Supporting example  
- Additional opposition in support of the example  
  
Your current presentation highlights only your point of view throughout. If you wish to use the 4 paragraph format instead of the 5 paragraph format, then your discussion needs to use the above paragraph format instead. The reason you have to do this is because the discussion states that there are 2 points of view. The 2 points of view are the public opinion. As such, the public opinion must be expressed and explained (Discuss both points of view) along with your personal point of view regarding the given reason (discuss your point of view). Your essay did not represent the said format in its discussion presentation.  
  
Remember to use group pronouns for the public point of view to indicate a clear separation of discussion ideas. Use a first person pronoun when you begin to discuss your personal opinion. You cannot use general statements in this presentation as the discussion instruction and the GRA scores require you to use the pronouns to clearly explain your discussion points in relation to the original prompt.  
  
in the end, it will be the formatting errors, that lead to under developed explanations and examples that would pull down your overall essay score. That is, aside from the other grammar issues existing in your written work.
Some grammartical and spelling errors are as follows :  
- It should be "Whilst being able to choose subjects freely ... ".  
- "receives".  
- The verb "opt" usually goes with "for" (opt for sth)  
- "...to strengthen their expertise." You 'd better use "improve" instead of "strengthen" in this context.  
- "communication skills"  
- "...ignore crutial ones..." I think you mean "crucial".  
- " ... for the purpose is ...". You can't use verb to be here. Instead, you can use "for the purpose of", "with a view to","in order to".  
  
- "... they are inadequate science ...". It is " ... they have inadequate..."
## globalisation = loss of cultural identity?

  
  
**As mass communication and transport continue to grow, societies are becoming more and more alike leading to a phenomenon known as globalization. Some people fear that globalization will inevitably lead to a total loss of cultural identity.  
  
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.**  
  
Because of the massive growth of global transportation and connection to each other, globalization is playing a more and more vital role in this day and age. Therefore, it is argued that we will lose our cultural identity unavoidably. I completely disagree with the opinion.  
  
First of all, I believe that globalization contributes to cultural integration rather than the disappearance of cultural identity. It allows people to experience various cultures worldwide and provides a multicultural environment to integrate different cultures. For instance, people all over the world are fond of Japanese traditional cuisine, Sushi. An increasing number of restaurants are attempting to create a combined dish with both Eastern and Western recipes. Therefore, instead of forgetting the local food culture, people could think outside the box and combine new delicacies with their own food culture.  
  
Secondly, globalization allows people not only to immerse themselves into another culture but also helps them to discover the beauty of their own indigenous culture. In other words, instead of losing cultural identity, people would cherish their distinguished local culture. The American film industry, for example, has a tremendous impact on every corner of the world due to globalization. People in India discover the fascination of their films from Bollywood and enjoy watching national movies filling with Indian characteristic institutions rather than watching Hollywood-centric movies containing with American popular culture. Thus, globalization helps people to find their cultural identity.  
  
To conclude, I am of the standpoint that globalization does not contribute to a complete disappearance of cultural identity because it makes people know more about others and their own cultures.  
  
**Hello everybody, I'm preparing my IELTS. Please give me comments and let me know what kind of problems do I have to avoid while writing an essay in Task 2. Thank you.**
Based on English grammar rules, a sentence can never start with the word "because" as this is a connecting word. A connecting word is used to create a link between two related ideas within one sentence. You should always start the paraphrase with a direct topic sentence referring to the original discussion. Additionally, you need to take note of the descriptive word for the topic presentation. In this case the description said that "people fear", therefore, you cannot use the word "argued". The more appropriate word equivalent is "people have anxiety", for want of a better term.  
  
Your first reasoning paragraph is well threshed out. It has a clear topic, contains appropriate examples, and offers applicable supporting explanations. These are the elements that were lacking in your second reasoning paragraph. That particular topic has a disconnect. How do the American films inspire Indians to value their culture more? There are lacking discussion points so the paragraph was rendered under developed in terms of explanatory presentations.  
  
Remember that you have to summarize the previous discussion topic and reasons in the concluding summary. You cannot merely repeat your opinion and then call it a day. You have to present 3-5 sentences in that section just the same to achieve the proper paragraph format.
There are a few mistakes in your essay :  
- Secondly, globalization not only allows people to immerse ...  
- ... distinguished local culture.... I think you mean " distinguishing" which is " distinctive". People use "distinguished" to describe a "successful and admired" person.  
- ... contain with American popular culture .... The verb "contain" is not followed by any prepositions.  
- ... movies filling with Indian .... You should use passive voice here.
## Describing a place before and after the renovation

  
  
The 2 maps illustrate several renovation in Colwick Arts Center in 2005 and today. It is obvious that there are striking differences presented in both indoor and outdoor exhibition areas.  
  
In terms of inside zone, over the period, extended buildings bring about extra facilities as well as additional choices for attenders of Arts Center. Firstly, the concert hall and cinema are separated into 2 adjacent blocks which occupy virtually the east of central area. In addition, the meeting room is in the similar case, which is split into 2 nearby rooms and relocated into the upper left-hand part of indoor area. Otherwise, 2 galleries were merged and moved to the opposite site. Finally, information desk seems to be the only thing remaining unchanged as the time goes on.  
  
In reference to outside one, the conspicuous information is the presence of brand-new stage which is surrounded by plenty of lively trees. Over the time period, wasteland was spectacularly converted into green spacious grass where audiences could take a seat on available desks and enjoy compelling performances on the stage.
While you did a good job of writing more than the suggested number of words, your failure to upload the image will prevent me from assessing your work in terms of data accuracy and instruction compliance. Always upload the image with the task 1 essay because that is a vital part of the assessment process for your work. All I can do now is review your grammar issues.  
  
Plurality Issue: The 2 maps illustrate several renovation - ... several renovationS - the number 2 , the words maps, and several indicate a plural form of the word  
  
Sometimes, simpler word references add more clarity to a sentence than an advanced word representation :  
... and relocated = ... and moved...  
... the time period = ... the period  
  
Try to avoid words of uncertainty so that the importance of your topic is not lessened:  
... occupy virtually the east of central... - ... which occupy the east...  
  
Your grammar still needs work. However, your grammar problems do not lessen the ability to understand what you are saying. The only problem, is that I am unable to judge the accuracy of these problematic sentences because of the lack of image to compare the information with. That is why I need you to provide the image next time.
@Minhcho  
  
Hello I'm just a learner and I'm preparing my IELTS. I just discovered some mistakes in your essay and would like to give you some comments.  
  
1. The 2 maps [two] I think it is better to write numbers in words instead of Arabic numbers.  
  
2. I think if it is possible, you could also upload the image which is described in you essay.  
  
3. Please remember to write an overview and put it into second paragraph. It could help you to score more in Task 1.  
  
Best wishes,
## Students place to live

  
  
Students at universities of ten have a choice of places to live. They may choose to live in university dormitories, or they may choose to live at home with their parents. There are some differences between dormitory and house such as living expenses, private space, social relationship and the distance to shcool. One noticeable difference between the two places is living expenses. Living in dormitory will have a lot of expenses for example, rent, electricity, water, internet bills can put a ton of financial strain on students. Some students have to work part-time jobs to afford those expenses. In contrast, living with parents at home, students do not need to worry much about living expenses because their parents can help them. Besides, living in dormitory can take away private space because in a room usually have 4 to 8 people that makes it difficult for students to concentrate on studying and resting. It is also impossible to express our voice of points since there are many different opinions in a room. Nevertheless, living in a house is more freedom and privacy. There are no curious eyes from roommates that may bother us.
This discussion should have been divided into 3 parts. One introduction paragraph, another representation paragraph from dorm living, and a separate one for home living. That way all the comparison points and discussion points will be well presented to the reader. This statement feels incomplete. As if you did not really give much thought to writing it, which is why you did not bother to properly format it. A paragraph that has more than 1 topic sentence presented will always be under developed or not fully explained. You need to learn to write paragraphs with 5 sentences each so that you can clearly explain your topic sentences with supporting discussions and examples.  
  
The information presented is good, if you do not consider the improper format. You obviously know what you are talking about and understand the importance of the topic you were given to discuss. Not bad for a practice English writing essay. You just need to properly build up your skills in the next exercise.
**@Kimdung**  
  
Hello I'm preparing IELTS and I'm just a lerner. However I just found some mistakes in your essay and would like to give you some comments.  
  
1. ..., or they may choose to live at home with their parents. [or at home with their parents]  
  
2. ## ,

such as living ... to school  
  
3. I think you should separate the essay into several paragraphs to make others understand your opinion easily.  
  
Sincerely,
## Destination of uk graduates and postgraduates in 2008

  
  
The charts below show that what UK graduate and postgraduates students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008.  
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make a comparisons where relevant.  
  
The two charts display the intentions of graduate and postgraduate students in the UK after finishing their courses in college in the year 2008.  
  
Overall, while the further study was the section that most of the UK's college-leavers decided to take as their next destination after leaving the institution, voluntary work was the choice that attracted the least interest from these students.  
  
In terms of graduate students, the number of people who decided to upgrade their academic level was recorded as the highest number shown on the chart, with about 29665 individuals. In contrast, the figure for voluntary work stood at only 3500, making it the least attractive section among all categories. The second popular choice was placed to a part-time job with the figure at around 17735. There were about 16255 graduate students in the UK recorded to be in the state if unemployment in 2008.  
  
A similar pattern can be found in the chart for postgraduates as the most popular thing that postgraduate students would like to take was to seek for further study, the figure for this purpose was at 2725. Followed by part-time work, its figure stood at approximately 2536, rewarding it the second place on the given chart. On the other hand, voluntary work still kept its bottom place when receiving only 345 students' choices. It was recorded that there were about 1625 postgraduates in the UK couldn't find a job after leaving college in 2008.  
  
* 
*
You have typed a Task 2 level essay based on your 241 word count. The task 1 essay is never more than 175-190 words. As such, you will definitely run out of time to type up your task 2 essay because you will need to take more time away from that task to allow for editing time in the task 1 essay. Always type using a timer. No matter how fast you type or write, you need to fully utilize the 40 minutes to perfecting the content, presentation, grammar, and spelling of your task 1 report. Use a timer so you will know exactly how much of the 20 minutes you used up in writing and how much time you left for editing, if at all.  
  
In a task 1 essay, you need only prove that you are capable of creating an understandable report, using pertinent information, in English. You do not need to try and jazz up the information through the use of flowery words. Just report the information directly, make comparisons where relevant, and always make sure that you represent all of the headline information in the summary overview.  
  
Your summary overview does not indicate all of the considerations / topics per chart. It also does not include the measurement reference for the given data. The summary overview is incomplete. Try to avoid using words of uncertainty in the Task 1 essay. Since the digits are precisely presented, you will lose points for misrepresenting data. You create uncertainty where there is none, so the essay will come across as not fully accurate in information. Do not use the estimation on the side of the chart, use the data at the top of every bar chart instead. That is the most accurate information you can use, with precise references instead of uncertainty.  
  
Keep this essay short, you need to be conscious of your time usage in relation to your editing requirements. Both of which can help you to create a better scoring presentation in the end.
## percentage of population aged 65 and above

  
  
The table illustrates information about the percentage of population who are older than 65 years old in 3 countries in 1988 and 2000, also points out the prediction in 2030.  
  
Overall, the population of elderly people rose from 1988 to 2000 in all 3 countries. In addition, figures for the future is predicted to be higher than the one from the past, and highest percentage over the given period can be seen in Germany.  
  
From 1988 to 2000, the proportions of people who aged 65 and above in Canada and Germany increased by about 5% to 20.67% and 25.32% respectively. On the other hand, there were a relatively little change in the figure for the UK, which remained under 15% in both years.  
  
In the future, it is predicted that the percentage of 65-year-old people and elder one in Canada will reach 26.35% in 2030. There will be also a leap in the figure for the UK, which is expected to rise from 14.89% in 2000 to 20.35% in 2030. Moreover, the highest percentage of people aged 65 and above belonged to Germany, which will remain the leader position in 2030 with a percentage of 30.42%.  
  
*
**@mrfox9x**  
  
Hello I'm also preparing my IELTS and I would like to give you some comments as a learner.  
  
1. You could paraphrase the word information with another word data which may help you to have a better introduction.  
  
2. in 1988 and 2000, also points out the prediction in 2030. [in the years 1988, 2000 and a projection in 2030]  
  
3. the percentage of 65-year-old people [the ratio of senior citizens in Canada]  
  
4. There will be also a leap ... [There will be a leap in UK as well]  
  
Good lucks!
The essay will receive a non-passing GRA score. The overall paragraph presentation is composed of run-on sentences which do not help with the clarity and coherence of the presentation. The sentences are under developed and remain unclear to the reader due to the formatting you have chose to use. Try to state only one idea per sentence. This will help you create a more understandable paragraph. Write up to 5 sentences concerning the presented data in a manner that collates related information in a paragraph.  
  
Before you write the essay, you should decide on how you want to present the information. Since there are 3 countries presented, you should be presenting the information in the following manner:  
  
Par. 1: Summary overview  
Par. 2: Comparison of oldest and newest information  
Par. 3: Mid range comparison for all 3 countries  
  
Using the above example would have helped you present the data in a more relatable and understandable manner. It shows how you analyzed the information rather than just stating the information as you did in the above essay. The format I suggested always results in a better score overall.