dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
To be more precise in your descriptive terms for the image, explain how the illustration is represented differently for each aspect. That means, you should indicate what is represented by the flowing line, broken line, and dotted line in the graph. There should also be a reference in the overview to the million of dollars measurement representation. There is also the problem of your failing to indicate the start and end date of the measurements. Part of the requirement of the summary overview is preciseness of the information, so you should make sure you represent all required aspects when you give the short form of the report.  
  
You need to indicate the end of the period in the actual report. When you forget to indicate the end date, the information becomes questionable. The graph does not make sense anymore. So you have to make sure that you specify both the start and end date every so often in the presentation.
## In recent years, more and more people tend to live individually.

  
***What are the causes of this trend?  
Does this have a positive or negative effect on society?***  
  
In contemporary life, people are becoming more independent in both work and life, which led to the mounting of individual living separately. Although some argue that this tendency brings more positive influences on society than their negative, I believe living alone can entirely have adverse effects on social development. I can identify two main causes, and two broad effects, which we will describe now.  
  
Perhaps the main cause is limited financial resources. This can be seen in the constant rise in average cost to own a house containing many people, indeed, most average or low incomes these days are impossible to pay for a large house. For example, almost all blue collar employees receive low salaries monthly which just able to make end meets with small accommodation. Additionally, jobs in diverse fields involded distingused working time, meaning that people want to have their own pace of life instead of concerning about others difference.  
  
Turning to negative effects, living individually, in other words would place a burden on the government to build more residential areas in order to serve the living needs of workers. Take Hanoi as an example, because of the growth in residents who mostly came from the countrysides, the government had to convert some infrastructures into social houses for employees. In addition, people are prone to suffer from many mental health problems such as depression, autism, ... as they have no one to share their stress in their daily life.  
  
In conclusion,the factors behind the trend of living alone tend to be inadequate incomes or characteristics of jobs .The effects may include difficulties in house construction and mental issues.
Okay, the one thing you have to absolutely avoid in the prompt paraphrase is the presentation of information and opinions that are not included in the original presentation. This shows an inability on your part to follow simple instructions and also, portrays you as someone who cannot accurately relay information in your own words. Your overall prompt paraphrase is going to be scored down because you have totally changed the discussion parameters by indicating invalid information (not included in the original information source). This inaccuracy and lack of reasoning discussion outline will have a clear effect on your TA score. You need to outline the 2 discussion points for each question presentation.  
  
If you are using words such as "perhaps" in your sentences, then that means you do not have a clear opinion and you not capable of properly supporting your point of view in the essay. This is an opinion essay so avoid all words of uncertainty in your presentation. You are scored on your ability to convince the reader of your opinion, whether it be right or wrong. If you are not sure of your opinion, why should the reader believe you?  
  
Your causes and negative effects explanations need to be better developed in relation to your additional statement. Try to present your 2 reasons and negatives as related concepts in each paragraph. The related idea will make it easier for you to explain both using the same information. This will add clarity and certainty to your paragraphs and presentations.  
  
The conclusion is incomplete. You have to restate the discussion point, the reasons and negative effects, and a closing sentence. It must be at least 3 sentences, never 2 sentences. 2 sentences does not meet the paragraph sentence requirement for each section.
## should smoking be prohibited?

  
  
There is an increasingly popular idea that smoking should be prohibited while many others disagree with it. From my point of view, banning smoking had better implementing but it needs to be made slowly with a proper planning.  
  
It is undeniable that tobacco has some positive aspects. First of all, smokers could be immediately wind down with a cigarette after a long-working day. Additionally, problems of the unemployers might be tackle as tobacco factories need to recruit enough employees to meet smokers' demands. Although tobacco has many benefits, it contains a wide range of disadvantages which has detrimental effects on people's life.  
  
There is no doubt that smoking results in many dangerous diseases to people. Detrimental chemicals, which are one of the factors leading to lung cancer, are contained in tobacco. Moreover, heavy smokers could die more quickly than non-smokers because of the decline of immune system.  
  
In addition, it is the fact that smokers are spending more and more money on trading cigarette which has negative impacts on their finance. On the one hand, according to many recent study, unemployed people have made up most of the smokers. It is obvious that they would be a financial burden to their family. On the other hand, the demands for life such as subsistence expenses is clearly essential for people. However, the more money smokers use on smoking, the more expense they have to pay off. It means they might not have the best life quality.  
  
In conclusion, it is understandable that why some people against with this idea but i strongly believe that banning smoking is of greater importance.  
  
-- I HAVE STARTED STYDYING IELTS FOR 2 WEEKS SO PLEASE HELP ME ON WRITING!!! THANK YOU<3
I need the original prompt that you are responding to so that I can give you proper advice. Your essay seems to be a mix of a number of smoking related topics. So it will be difficult for me to accurately review your response. I have to know which specific prompt you are discussing so I can give related advice. Anyway, I can still review your work for now. It will not be that in-depth though.  
  
Your discussion paragraphs are not clear. The discussion points fail to prove anything to the reader because there is no clear discussion provided. You only give us talking points, which do not really get developed within the presentation. Simply stating information, without a proper explanation results in an under developed paragraph. All of your paragraphs come across that way. You are not well focused on whatever discussion point you were asked to target in the prompt. Unfortunately, I cannot direct you towards a clearer discussion method due to the lack of prompt information.  
  
Next time, provide the prompt. Make sure you understand what the target discussion points are and how it is to be discussed. Try to use examples and opinions for every paragraph, based on its connection to your topic sentence. Don't just keep giving topics in the paragraph, that will not help you score better. You have to make sure you can clearly and efficiently explain your opinion within the 2 reasoning paragraphs. As of this moment, you are incapable of doing that.
Writing Task 2 - Topic: Education  
  
Choosing which subjects should be included in the curriculum of university is recently a topic of controversy. While some believe that university students are at liberty to study subjects they have a particular liking, others argue that they should be forced to study what might be useful and trendy in the future.  
  
On the one hand, there are some arguments that can explain for the opinion of studying students' favorite subjects. Obviously, if they are fond of what they are learning, they would pay more attention to the lessons and acknowledge more. Therefore, students can develop themselves with full potentials and acquire better performance and achievement. For instant, if a student have interest in language, their marks for English and literature might be higher than that of math or science. Moreover, giving student the right to study whatever they like would create a diversity in job areas in the future. A healthy and balanced economy needs not only science and technology but also business, arts, tourism, and other sectors.  
  
On the other hand, concentrating only on subjects related to what might be useful in the future has some benefits. Firstly, some fields such as STEM are irreplaceable and essential to our daily life as well as the development of the society. Therefore, graduates would not be jobless and not as competitive as other occupations due to the specialization of these areas. Secondly, the continued advance of science and technology provide students more employment opportunities with high salary; hence, their quality of life can be improved.  
  
In conclusion, study for interests or for meeting job demands all have pros and cons . Personally, I advocate the view of pursue whichever we want to learn, but students should equip themselves with rudimentary knowledge of technology, which might be required in their careers, for a better job.
If you want to use the 4 paragraph comparative essay with personal opinion discussion, then you need to correct your writing style. As you know, you cannot include a new discussion in the reverse paraphrase conclusion as that is meant to simply create a summary of the discussion. You have to place the personal opinion either as a stand alone paragraph before the conclusion or within the other 2 public opinion discussion points.  
  
The advanced method of writing this format essay is to have a clear topic sentence at the start that avoids word fillers such as "On the one hand" or "On the other hand" which are memorized phrases that will score your essay downward. Always use the subject of the paragraph as the first sentence. This clues the reader into what the topic of the paragraph is about and how it relates to the outline you provided in the paraphrase and opinion response.  
  
The better and more time efficient way to respond to this essay is as follows:  
Sentence 1: Topic sentence  
Sentence 2: Explanation based on the public point of view  
Sentence 3: Your opinion of the public point of view  
Sentence 4: Explain your opinion  
Sentence 5: Transition into the next topic (optional) or reverse paraphrase (in the case of the 2nd POV discussion paragraph)  
  
By creating a comprehensive discussion per paragraph, covering both the public opinion and your personal opinion, the essay should show, not only an advanced method of discussion on your part, but also add to your coherence and cohesiveness score as your essay will be truly clear in terms of discussion topic considerations..
## IELTS Writing Task 2 - Topic: Music

  
  
***Question: Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together.  
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?***  
  
Many people hold the view that music can strengthen the bond between people who differ in cultural backgrounds and age groups. From my perspective, I disagree with this opinion because different tastes in music and culture-related lyrics are the factors which cannot help to foster relationships.  
  
First of all, favorite music genres of different generations can widen the gap between the young and the elderly. While youngsters have a common tendency to enjoy listening to pop or rock songs, the elderly seem to prefer classical and folk music. As a result, older people are not likely to participate in teenagers' discussions about the latest and trendy songs. Based on the interview carried out by BBC News, many adolescents would encounter difficulties in starting a conversation with the elderly when it comes to music.  
  
What is more, cultures represented in the lyrics are not always appropriate for people around the world to make a connection with each other. There might be some cultural conflicts when a song unintentionally includes something which seems to compromise the other cultures. Since music is often an expression of cultures, people of indigenous cultures hardly connect with those of foreign cultures. For instance, the Western and Eastern cultures have different religious beliefs, so the religious content of a Western song may be unsuitable for Eastern people to listen to.  
  
In conclusion, music is not a significant factor in improving relationships of people who have a disparity in cultures and age groups due to a variety of preferred types of music and the content of songs.
No way this essay will get a 7. By the way, since students are not allowed to score other students essays, @thuhanguyen9599 is about to get himself suspended from this forum. Again, student scoring of essays is a direct violation of forum rules and results in immediate account suspension for the erring student.  
  
This is an extent essay. So you cannot simply disagree with the given statement. Rather you have to show the extent of your disagreement by indicating it in a clear manner. While the proper extent essay normally goes by "I strongly oppose, I strongly support, I vehemently oppose" among other emotional extent responses, you can also indicate a more advanced method of agreement or disagreement, without using the incorrect phrase "I partially" because there is no partial option in this essay. You still have to pick one side to focus your discussion on in the presentation. For this prompt, you could have indicated:  
  
*I disagree with this opinion to the extent that it has a direct relationship with...*  
  
Once you have clearly indicated the point at which your opposition starts and ends, you can then, use the next 2 reasoning paragraphs to help support your claims. Now, within the reasoning paragraphs, you will need to provide emotional descriptive terms to help further indicate the strength / extent of your opposition to the given discussion. Words such as "The strength of this discussion relies on" or "the weakest supporting argument for this opinion is... which is why the argument that... is further given a solid credence."  
  
Your essay is to be based on personal opinion and knowledge, avoid referring to any sources in the essay. You can just directly state it in your own understanding. You will lose points for pretending to refer to other sources. You can indicate made up information, just don't say it came from a source because that requires information citation, as in an academic paper. This is just an opinion paper based on personal knowledge and public opinion.  
  
Your first reasoning paragraph is inconsistent in presentation. That is why it lacks proper development. You are jumping from kids to adults and vice versa, causing the paragraph to lack focus and clarity in the presentation.  
  
Your second reasoning paragraph is better, but could use more explanation development at the end. The concluding reverse paraphrase is not properly presented. It should be 3-5 sentences composed of a prompt restatement, your reasoning topics, and a repetition of your extent response. There are also several errors in spelling along with cohesiveness and coherence problems that, when all combined will definitely not allow this essay to reach a 7 band score.
Hey guys, could you read my essay and give a band score for it?  
  
## Telephone calls by category in Australia

  
  
**The bar chart below shows the total number of minutes (in billions) of telephone calls in Australia, divided into three categories, from 2001- 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.  
  
You should write at least 150 words.**  
  
A glace at the graph provided sketches out how long people in Austalia in the period of 2001 - 2008 spend their time on calling via telephone which was divided specifically into local, national & international and mobiles.  
  
Overall, total time of local calls had its leading in comparison to others despite some fluctuations between these time, whilst mobile calls with its rise could not help it escape from the least place.  
  
Apparently, the figure of local calls minutes had a gradual climb by 18 billions from 2001 to 2004. Then it reached its peak at 90 billions minutes by the year 2005 before it decrease steadily to the 2001's number at 72 billions.  
  
On contrary, mobiles, national and international calltime witnessed the increasing. Minutes of national and international calls went up for 1 to 5 billions minutes each year, bring the number 38 of 2001 to 61 billions, Beside, a significant rise in mobile calltime by 2008 which was 23 times as the 2001's figure was also recorded by the chart.  
  
*
Scoring is part of our private and / or URGENT review services. It is no longer part of our free review service. Students who score other students essays will be suspended. Now, I will go on with my review of your essay.  
  
You have a notable number of errors in your essay ranging from spelling and grammar mistakes. Since you only wrote 172 words, you should have used the remainder of the 20 minutes to review and correct these errors. Leaving these correctable errors in the essay will definitely lower your LR and GRA scores. Editing the paper is very important to your score. Make sure to allot at least 5 minutes for the editing and correction process. Aim to have fewer errors to have a better chance to pass the test.  
  
You need to be more specific with your image identification. This is a bar graph, not just a graph. The graph is the type of image. The bar, is the format of the graph. So you have to provide both the type and format for the name of the image. As a part of the summary overview, you should also indicate the information regarding the measurement type. For this image, the measurement type is in the billions of minutes. Skipping information presentations in the summary overview makes it incomplete. You should also combine the summarized data and the trending statement into one paragraph because the trending statement works best as the wrap up sentence of the overview. Also, it is much easier to create a 3 paragraph, 3-5 sentence presentation than a 4 paragraph presentation for the task 1 essay. That is due to the sentence requirement per paragraph and also, the inability of the student to truly create a representative report over 4 paragraphs. The standard paragraph format for this essay is only 3 paragraphs.  
  
Your succeeding paragraphs are under developed and represent run-on sentences because these are too long to be coherently and comprehensively presented. The more sentences you have, the clearer the information presentation. Don't go over the maximum 5 sentence requirement though. You might run out of time to double check your work. You cannot capitalize a word after a comma ( billions, Beside should be billions . Besides ) unless it is a noun reference (name of a person, place, thing, book title, or position title)
could someone help me to give an assessment on the score I might get on this essay. I don't know what band I am at right now)  
  
topic  
Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold.  
  
## To what extent do you agree or disagree?

  
  
It is true that companies have been increasingly approaching a more considerable amount of customers than in the past, thanks to the advertisement. To some extent, I agree that advertising has a massive impact on sales, but I would also argue that we do need most of the products that we buy.  
  
On the one hand, the influence of advertisements on customers is so powerful that they might sometimes buy unnecessary goods and services. It is clear that advertisers use special effects and artistic images that draw people's attention; these people are convinced that the products are either of perfectly good quality and deserve their payment or very essential for their life. A mobile phone could be a good example of these buying habits. Every year people could be seen queuing for miles in front of Apple stores to buy the latest models, even when their current phones remain in good use and do not need replacing. This situation could, therefore, prove the fact that advertising has done its effects on customers.  
  
On the other hand, I believe that most people have made buying decisions to meet their demands, not only because of advertisements. There are always certain needs for people to improve their quality of life. These individuals, in order to satisfy their wishes, tend to actively come to see the adverts that can lead them to an insight into the products. Advertisement does not, as a consequence, manipulate customers; by contrast, it does help them to make the ultimate choices. In the past, it could be hard for people to buy goods and services due to the lack of information stemming from advertisements.  
  
In conclusion, it is undeniable that advertising industry has substantially affected users' behaviors, but I believe people would make wise choices on their demands.
Band scoring is part of our advanced services. You can avail of band scoring either through our private review service or by making this thread URGENT. Student scoring of other students work is not allowed. Any student who scores an essay will find his / her account suspended for forum rule violations.  
  
You have changed the discussion format of the essay. How did you do that?  
  
Original topic: high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold.  
  
Your Topic: companies have been increasingly approaching a more considerable amount of customers than in the past, thanks to the advertisement.  
  
Original Question: To what extent do you agree or disagree?  
Discussion Response: To some extent, I agree that advertising has a massive impact on sales, but I would also argue that we do need most of the products that we buy.  
  
As you can see, your discussion topic and response to the question are inaccurate when compared to the original. Therefore, this essay will be considered to be non-responsive to the task provided.