dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
Please help me with my writing task 2  
***Topic: Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely.  
  
## Discuss both views and gives your opinion.***  
  
Many people argue that sharing information in scientific studies, business and academic areas is necessary in modern life. However, others believe that free information should be available to certain extent. Both opinions give out the advantages but I personally agree with the latter one.  
  
There are several explanations for the benefit of free materials. Firstly, if the basic academic knowledge was not spread out over the world and passed down to younger generations, many meaningful inventions were not come up with. For example, theories related to friction are known as fundamental application in building transportation. Secondly, the freedom of information helps people address the problems more quickly. When people encounter an issue, searching for solution online would enable them to take advice and lessons only if the knowledge about previous similar case was shared publicly.  
  
However, it is true that not all the information in terms of science, business and academic world should be freely available. The case of knowledge about weapons and nuclear power exemplifies for this perspective. If such secrete information was leaked out to every citizen, the number of serious criminal and terrorists would increase exponentially and unstoppable. Moreover, researchers, scientists, idea creators living on the payment from their intelligent works will be harm if all these invisible materials are free. They will no longer have motivation and health to conduct research as they have to find other jobs which help them get by.  
  
In conclusion, freely accessing to academic, business and scientific information fosters the development of society in a certain way but it also brings undeniable drawbacks. Hence, the knowledge should be treated rationally, certain types of information need to be preserved as confidential.
There is a missing paragraph in this 5 paragraph essay presentation. You forgot to present your personal opinion in reference to a comparison of the 2 public points of view. While your reasoning is sound and somewhat acceptable, you do not really present a well developed line of reasoning. That is because the paragraphs focus on the public points of view, without a reference to your personal opinion in one of these two forms:  
  
- A personal opinion that gives an idea of what you think of each point of view within the relevant paragraph  
- A personal opinion of view that represents the opinion that you actually support in the discussion.  
  
There was no sentence or paragraph that presented your point of view. Believe it or not, you have to use the first person pronoun in this essay. It is a requirement. It is the only way to clearly indicate that you are presenting a personal opinion as opposed to presenting the public point of view through the 2nd or 3rd person pronouns. Always review the instructions just when you think you are done writing. Double check the instructions against your presentation to ensure that you did not miss a discussion point as you did in this essay.  
  
Contrary to public opinion, simply saying that you agree with a certain point of view, without justifying your support for that point of view is useless. It is always the accompanying explanation that the examiner is looking for to complete your opinion. Therefore, you must present that information either as an opinion relating to each point of view or, as an opinion that supports a specific point of view. Explanations and examples are required.
## IELTS Writing Task 2 - Advantages and Disadvantages

  
  
**Topic: Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular.  
Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages?**  
  
With the strong development of the Internet, millions of people can now easily access the Internet via their smart devices. Online shopping, therefore, becomes more popular than ever, originally from books to even daily groceries. In my opinion, their advantages definitely beyond the disadvantages.  
  
On the one hand, there are some drawbacks that prevent people from buying things online. The first reason is the feeling. They cannot touch, smell, or try on carefully before making the decisions. This can lead to unsatisfied when the goods are delivered. Secondly, the fraud will be another problem that could occur. There will happen the circumstance that the sellers do not deliver the product after receiving money. The shopper will be tricked for money by the unreal products.  
  
On the other hand, the advantages of this new shopping way are more weighted. The first benefit that can be easily seen is convenience. By only several clicks or touch, people can buy anything from books, clothes, tools, or even food without going out. By this way, people can save a lot of time traveling to the stores, especially benefit for busy people. For example, people can now sit in their homes with the pizza will be served at their place about thirty minutes after some clicks. Secondly, online shopping platforms can provide a wide range of products with many suppliers. They sell everything as in the physical stores. People can easily find their needs and compare the price among sellers quickly before making the decision. These advantages absolutely surpass the inconveniences.  
  
In conclusion, although online shopping still remains some drawbacks, it now becomes more and more popular, I am of the opinion that the advantages are outweighed.
The main problem that I see with your presentation pertains mostly to your grammar. You need to learn to use verbs in order to create a sentence that makes sense to the examiner. For example:  
  
... their advantages definitely beyond the disadvantages.  
- the advantages need an action word to complete the description so: ... their advantages definitely OUTWEIGH the disadvantages.  
  
or  
  
... their advantages definitely GO beyond the disadvantages  
  
You also need to use subjects when presenting verbs:  
... They cannot touch, smell, or try on carefully before making the decisions.  
- try on what? What is the subject of that reference? clothes? perfume? shoes? The sentence thought process is incomplete.  
  
Error in vocabulary usage:  
... clicks or touch...  
- Clicks would have been sufficient. Touch doesn't do anything to the screen unless you click or tap on it.  
  
Now, for a more coherent explanation of the advantage v. disadvantage, your presentation would have been stronger if you had actually taken the disadvantage discussion points and proven why these disadvantages are actually advantages. It would have created a more cohesive and coherent presentation as all of the discussion points, positive and negative would have all connected to the same subject. So, to write this essay, you should have first outlined:  
  
*Disadvantage: Non- physical Shopping - lack of physical contact with the item, possible mistakes in item delivery, payment fraud  
Advantage: Health precautions: non-exposure to viruses, bacteria, and germs (reference Covid 19 new normal shopping guidelines. It shows your understanding of current events in relation to the given topic) . Saves time because a person can shop from anywhere (even at work), items are delivered to the client's home allowing the buyer to do other things with his or her time. People can easily shop and compare items without having to physically go from store to store.*  
  
Properly outlining the essay by looking for the connected advantages and disadvantages of the same topic, you create a clear analysis of the discussion and present fully developed reasoning presentations using both sides of the same topic. Always aim to connect reason 1 with reason 2. That way, the essay comes across as fully developed and explained to the examiner.  
  
Your conclusion is incomplete. Kindly review the reverse paraphrase requirements and apply it to the next essay. The reverse paraphrase needs:  
  
- A topic restatement  
- Advantage reason (summarized)  
- Disadvantage reason ( summarized)  
- Closing opinion  
  
Your essay is actually good, but it could have been better. The second paragraph could have used more appropriate discussion development.
1.Your introduction paragraph is a little bit too short. It needs a strong statement , which you then should repeat in your conclusion.  
2. The Essay should contain at least 5 to 8 paragraphs with support details for your main thesis of your essay.  
3.Your conclusion is too short. It should have at least 4 sentences, and repeat the main statement in different words.  
4.You have a comma splice in your conclusion. After the words ¨it now becomes more and more popular¨ you need to put period.  
5.Other wise I liked your Essay, good thinking, and good reasoning.
**Topic :** ***Scientific research should be carried out and controlled by the governments rather than private companies.***  
## Do you agree or disagree?

  
Nowadays, the question of whether governments should control scientific research or private companies has been receiving a great deal of public attention. While there are some arguments in favor of scientific research by corporations, I agree with the view that this should be funded by the state.  
  
There are many certain reasons why the state should manage scientific research. First, if scientific projects are funded and managed by private organizations, they can carry out illegal projects, especially in medical fields. For example, thalidomide, developed by the German drug company, led to the death of approximately 2000 children and serious birth defects in more than 10000 children, which leads to a serious threat to society. Second, by providing financial support for clinical trials, many pharmaceutical companies always want these projects to bring benefits for them. This means that many pharmaceutical products are advertising excessively, which leads to consumer's misunderstanding.  
  
There are many other reasons for this problem. First, when private companies can carry out or take part in many other scientific projects in various fields, they will not have enough experience and manpower to response to it. This means that they can publish untrustworthy results, which leads to many people do not trust scientific projects when private sources are involved. Second, by considering all the people's demands now and in the future, governments can choose the most critical research areas.For example, climate change or renewable energy, which is very important for human life.  
  
In conclusion, I agree strongly with the view that governments should take responsibility for scientific projects.  
  
I'm learning how to write Ielts essay and all your comments are welcome. Thank you so much!
## watch sport live

  
  
Watching a live performance such as a play, concert, or sporting event is more enjoyable than watching the same event on television  
  
I agree with that idea bucause its better to watch these show on the real life . These is some of the following reason why I prefer watching live than watching on TV  
  
First and foremost , Watching live helps us feel the atmosphere . Why is it most important because when we feel the atmosphere, it will give us more emotions like fun, excitement, ....  
  
Secondly, when watching these show live. We can also share our emotions to the people . Some of the examples is your friends ,.....But you can also share your emotions when you and your friends is watching the show together on TV . Althought watching on TV cant share as much as when you watch live .  
  
And the last reason i can think about its that watching TV can hurt your eyes and the sound will be cracked or its will not be real . To sum up , you should watch it live for a better experience
In first line "bucause" should be 'because'. Also "its" should be 'it is'.  
If you are writing multiple reasons you will use 'these are' and if you are writing one reason it should be 'this is'. You wrote "these is" which is clearly wrong and as I have said, when writing multiple reasons so 'these are' will be used. Third line "reason" should be 'reasons'. Sixth line "most" should be 'more'. Second paragraph fifth line "is" should 'are'. Second paragraph seventh line "cant" should be 'can not'. In your last paragraph 'I' should be capitalized. In line one of last paragraph "its" should be 'is' and third line "its" should be 'it'.
You did not properly restate the prompt topic in your discussion paraphrase. You failed to properly format the paper as well. Did you write this using an android device? It is difficult to read and does not provide a proper paragraphing format in your presentation. Please make sure to use the correct format next time. Use a laptop or a PC, never use an android device to write your practice essays. You will not be able to train yourself to properly format your response during the actual test if you do not use the same equipment as the testing center does.  
  
You only wrote 165 words of undeveloped sentence ideas and reasoning presentations. You will not be able to pass the Task 2 essay test with this kind of work. You wrote this more in the manner of an English writing exercise instead of a Task 2 practice essay. The way it was written is more grade school essay type than college level work. It is lacking in so many ways that I am not sure where to start with advising you on how to improve.  
  
Try to review the sample essays here first. Get a feel for task 2 writing requirements. Once you understand what is expected of your discussion essay, you should be able to come up with a more college level type of response to your next practice essay.
***Some people think that instead of preventing climate change, we need to find a way to live with it.  
## To what extent do you agree or disagree?***  
  
Climate crisis is one of the most serious global issues today. For many people the preferred course of action is to adapt to it rather than to try to prevent it from happening. I completely disagree with this idea as it is will be harder to find a suitable place to live for humans and adaptation is unattainable for other species.  
  
To begin with, without actions the climate change will gradually worsen and people will not be able to live with it. As the global temperature rises, some places will become too hostile for people and they will be forced to move somewhere else. People's ability to adapt and survive has its limits. For instance, the expansion of deserts has already sped up and many tropical islands are sinking under the ocean level. Global crisis leads to the disappearance of lands suitable for human settlements.  
  
Even if the humankind survives, animals and plants will not. Our planet's ecosystem is extremely fragile and many species of flora and fauna, in contrast to humans, cannot find a way to adapt to rapid changes in temperatures and will go extinct. Photos of starving polar bears have already shown the dire consecuences of elevated temperatures. In some regions of Arctic, these animals are unable to find food as their prey have migrated to cooler northern regions, leaving the bears behind.  
  
There is a thought that a suitable way to deal with global warming is to find a way to tolerate it, instead of taking actions to stop it. However, this approach will not only result in disappearance of areas suitable for humans, but also will aloow animal and plant life to go extinct. Therefore, I strongly disagree with accepting this approach.
This is one of your better written essays. You have learned to appropriately restate the prompt and offer your topics for discussion in a manner that will have the examiner interested to read what else you have to say. Your first reasoning paragraph was well developed until the last sentence. What global crisis were you speaking of? Climate change does not necessarily equate into a lack of suitable human or animal settlements. Clarify your explanation. I believe you meant to indicate that "Urban development will eventually lead to unsuitable human settlements" , or something like that. I am not really sure what you meant to say in that sentence.  
  
You do not need to use the connecting word "the" in reference to humankind. Are you sure that animals and plants will not survive? Do not make exaggerated statements. Offer a sense of uncertainty if required by the discussion. Your evidence does not prove that the polar bears have been eradicated by global warming. That is not to say that the discussion in that paragraph isn't effective because it was. It was just a wee bit on the exaggerated side which should not happen in an academic presentation.  
  
Good work on the concluding paraphrase. It was well suited to the purpose. It had a clear topic restatement, your reasons and were properly represented, and helped to close the essay on a strong note. Good job!
## Which company is best for me to work there?

  
  
There are a lot of factors influencing the decision of a company you would like to work in such as working environment, salary, location,... One of them is the size of that company. While many people assume that a large company will give the employees more chances to get access to a professional environment and a high pay rate. However, I have many reasons to apply for a job for a small company instead of the large one.  
  
First of all, working in a small company will help you multitask easier. A small company usually owns 3-4 members in a team, therefore, sometimes you must take over different tasks at the same time, which becomes an opportunity to cultivate skills and challenge yourself by chance.  
  
Secondly, a small company frequently provides a free and energetic environment. It is not crucial to comply with rigid regulations and always say ''yes'' to anything your boss gives. In spite of new staff, you also speak up for the development of your company at the meeting.  
  
Next, almost everyone supposes that you can get a promotion quickly in a small company. The reasons for that are you must compete with fewer people, receive more responsibilities. In a small business, an outstanding idea can make you move up.  
  
Last but not least, it isn't difficult to build good relationships with your co-workers because you can meet the staff in the other department in an easy way and the company also hold some parties after a successful project.  
  
In a nutshell, I can't deny both the small and large company have a diversity of advantages. The decision of a company you will work in depends on your abilities and hobbies very much.
Do me a favor and include the essay prompt you are responding to next time. It will serve as my guideline for reviewing your written work. Just a short summary of the prompt will do inclusive of:  
  
- Topic  
- Discussion points  
- Direct question  
  
Thanks.  
  
When you write a TOEIC essay, the minimum word count is 300 words. The current essay you have is only 286 words. So you are short in terms of presentation, discussion, defense, and examples. In order to write a proper TOEIC essay, you have to first, meet the minimum word requirement for the essay. You can write more than 300 words, but do not go over 450 words. Just write the right number of words that will allow you fully develop paragraph presentations of more than 5 sentences, six to eight would be sufficient, and also, allow you time to review your essay response prior to submission. With 30 minutes to write the essay, you have more than enough time to allot to your:  
  
- Outlined thoughts  
- Draft response  
- Revised response  
- Final version response  
  
The essay presentation itself has excellent starting points. The problem, is you do not follow through using clear examples and additional explanations based on your examples. The paragraph presentations could use more opinion development. Right now, there is no clear sense of how these discussions apply to you because you keep saying "You" instead of "I". You are commonly asked for your direct opinion for things, so first person pronoun references should be used in strategic places within the essay. In this case, using it in the example section would be most suitable for the presentation.  
  
The conclusion should not suddenly become an A/D conclusion. It should remain solidly within your opinion, which is the benefits of working for a small company. It is only your opinion that matters, about what you are comfortable with. The other side does not need representation in the writing.  
  
To achieve the 300 word count, don't forget to use examples and thresh out the supporting explanations for it. These are the reasons why most of your discussions deliver a sense of not being a complete explanation. It is also the reason why you did not meet the minimum word count.  
  
Grammar issues, do not use ellipses after a comma. Use only 1 punctuation mark per sentence, you cannot use multiple punctuation marks because you confuse the reader with regards to the implied emotion of the sentence ( ,... = Do you mean to pause or to show an unspoken train of thought? Confusion.)  
  
Use everyday English words in this test. While you are still scored on vocabulary usage, you will not normally be using the word "comply" in light English office discussions. The words you use should feel natural and common place to show your practical use ability of the English language.
Please help me in my writing task 1  
  
## ***Water cycle***

  
  
The diagram illustrates how the water passes from the ocean to land through a natural process called 'water cycle'  
  
It is noticable that there are 3 main stages in this process, beginning with the evaporation of water and ending with the water's journey back to the ocean again.  
  
In the first step, the water evaporate at a result of the sunshine. It is estimate that water from the ocean take about eighty percent total water vapor in air. After the evaporation, clouds are formed by the condensing of water vapor.  
  
Clouds are then heavier and cause rain in land. They also cause snow in higher area. This rainwater partly pours into lakes or flows back to the ocean via 'surface runoff'. Another part of water from precipitation absorbs into the ground and return to the ocean. Finally, salt water intrustes just before groundwater reach the ocean and then the process finishes.  
  
*   
*water cycle*