dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
**The text shows a method for collecting water using an animal (ox or buffalo), a pulley and a bucket.**  
  
First, this animal is linked with the bucket by a rope. Next, the rope run through the pulley to pull the bucket up. Finally, there is a irrigation channel where water is stored.  
  
The process begin when this animal walks downhill and the bucket rises from the wells. Water is poured slowly into irrigation channels by pulley. The animal is stronger than humans, so it can collect water from deep wells eassily.  
  
The systems aware that how natural materials and an animal can collecting water without human.
Hi Linh, first of all, I would like to say that you are very fortunate in discovering this website, we have helped a lot of students and writers alike, we aim at providing you with remarks that will help you with your revision and more importantly, will help you discover different ways of writing and hone your writing abilities as well as your understanding in the English language.  
  
Having said that, as I was going through your essay, I would like to ask, does this essay comes with a table or a graphic representation?, if it does, it will help reviewers if you can include this in your post. Anyhow,please find a few suggestions below;  
  
- First, ~~this animal~~the buffalo or ox is linked ~~with~~to the bucket ~~by~~with a rope.  
- Finally, there is an irrigation channel where water is stored.  
  
- The process begins when this animal walks  
- downhill ~~and~~with the bucket ~~rises~~rising from the wells.  
- Water is poured slowly into the irrigation channels by a pulley.  
- ~~The animal is~~Animals are stronger than humans,  
- ~~so~~therefore, it can collect water from deep wells ~~eassily~~easily .  
  
- ~~The~~This systems ~~aware that~~proves how natural materials  
- and ~~an~~ animals can collect~~ing~~ water without the help of humans .  
  
There you have Linh, I hope the above remarks help you in your revision and for future writing reference, make sure that your sentence construction is following the rules of the language.
**People say that tourism has many negative effects on the countries that people travel to.**  
  
Tourism of many countries is a main industry. these countries receive large numbers of tourists and have to provide a lot of facilities for them. this brings money and profit for economy and job for local people, but it also causes lots of problems.  
  
In my opinion, one of the worst effects of tourism is environmental destruction. If trees have been cut down to build resort, or hotels, this will influence not only the health of people but also their children of future.  
  
Another disadvantage of tourism is the presence if large crowds of people in streets and areas beauty. when this happens, local people can find it difficult any thing to do.  
  
Generally, i think there are possible things that tourists can do. Firstly, they can think about where they will go on holiday and find more information about their holiday destination before they leave. secondly, they should try to look after the area they stay in and observe the rules there.  
  
overall, i believe tourism have many benefits. However, people also think about protecting tourists locations, and reducing bad impacts of tourists behaviour.
Hi Ngo, WELCOME to the Essay Forum Family, please find a few suggestions below;  
  
- Tourism ~~of~~in many countries is a main industry.  
- ~~these~~Some countries receive large  
- profit ~~for~~to the economy and job for local people,  
  
- ~~have~~has been cut down to build resort~~, or~~s and hotels,  
- this will influence not only the health of the people but  
- also ~~their children of~~the future generation.  
  
- Another disadvantage of tourism is the presence ~~if~~of large  
- ~~in~~on the streets and areas of beauty.  
- it difficult ~~any thing~~ to do anything .  
- will go on a holiday and find more  
- ~~have~~has many benefits.  
- However, people also need to think about protecting  
- tourist~~s~~ locations, and reducing bad impacts of ~~tourists behaviour~~tourism in the environment and its local people .  
  
There you have it Ngo, I hope you will be able to follow through with the corrections made and should you need further assistance, we are here for you.
Tourism plays an important role in economy of some countries. It makes the economy increase by bringing many benefits from tourists and investors. However, tourism cause some problem on countries that people travel to.  
  
Firstly, travellers go from this places to another places, they exchanged their culture with people that is mixed and it leads to the dilution of their culture. Next, heavy tourist traffic, environmental damage and pollution to local regions is inevitable. Trees is cut down to build hotels, restaurants,...this can destroy natural habitats and even may result in extinction of many animals and plants. Lastly, the cost for living is higher. Increasing demand for basic services and goods from tourists will cause raise prices that local resident whose income does not increase proportionately.  
  
In my opinion, we should do something reduce those impacts to develop the tourism. Citizens are responsible for maintaining and recommending local culture to travellers. People who go to another places should choice where and when they will go in order to avoid overcrowded. They should find information about journeys from different resources. The government should have schedules and impose laws detailed how to attack tourist without destroying environment and being inflation so much.  
  
Overall, I believe everyone will decrease undesirable impact of tourism. Beside that, we will maintain and develop tourism to become the greatest industry around the world.
Hi Emily, WELCOME to this very helpful and valuable website, Essay Forum has helped a lot of students and writers alike, we aim at providing you with accurate and comprehensive feedback in order for you to gain confidence in your writing as well as hone your ability to write, not only simple essays but those ones that are definitely worth publishing.  
  
Indeed, the popularity of the tourism market has a lot of impact in our lives and negative impacts are part of them too.  
However, I believe that tourism is an industry that keeps giving people a way to enhance and alleviate their current status in life.  
Going back to your essay, below are a few suggestions.  
  
- Tourism plays an important role in the economy of some countries.  
- It ~~makes~~increases the economy ~~increase by bringing many~~and bring  
- benefits ~~from~~in the form of tourists and investors.  
- However, tourism cause some problems in~~on~~ countries that people travel to.  
  
- First~~ly~~ , travellers go ~~from~~to this places ~~to another places~~and others ,  
- they exchange~~d~~ their culture with people that  
- ~~is mixed and it~~may lead~~s~~ to the dilution of their culture.  
- Trees ~~is~~are cut down to build hotels, restaurants~~,...~~and this can  
- destroy natural habitats and ~~even~~ may even result in  
  
There you have it Emily, I left the rest of the essay so you can follow through with the corrections as you can see above.
Topic: **According to an international travel magazine, many tourists today fly straight to their holiday resort and almost never leave it. Unlike tourists in the 1960 and 70's, they return home with no experience of the local culture. Why do you think this happens? How was tourism different in the past? Give reason for you answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience.**  
  
After hard work, everyone hope have a tourist to relax and rest. As well as, their vacation is a inspiration to create for their new project and next work. The same about finally aims but there are many different between tourist past and today. Demand of people and develop tourism is a part of this change.  
  
In the past, most of tourists like discovering and freedom. So they found to their destinationby their motorbike or car. Then went to seesight, discovered this local. Sometime, they stay at home of local people instead of hotel. This thing can decrease cost for their tourist.  
  
Nowaday, flights and tranferstake people direct to their luxury hotel, where they stay for the rest of their holiday. Their hotel have good service, well facilities. Therefore, they felt very comfortable and convenient. Even though this place have restarant, beach beautiful, playground to entertiment. This are factors everyone don't like leave it. If there have, they leave a little time, then they immetately return.  
  
This is a different between tourist past and today. Past tourist, after finish their vacation they have many colorful stories that they could tell. Otherwise today, they return home no experience of the local people.  
  
In the past or today, tourist have convenient or interest. In my view, past tourist still call packbackers. It is very interested. Because they have opportunite told with local people, expand knowleage, especialy try food which never have at restaurant, know the local culture.
Hi Linh,  
  
All the sentences in your essay are incorrect in term of grammar and typo. My suggestion is:  
  
Write simple sentences (just S+ V) first, make sure all of them are correct. After having a firm ground on simple sentences' grammar, you could practice complicated ones.  
  
E.g. When you want to say a beach that is beautiful, it is "beautiful beach" (adj + N).  
  
Feel free to let me know if i could help you with anything else.
Hi Linh, first of all, WELCOME to the Essay Forum Team, I hope you find this website helpful and even more so, valuable to your essay revision, we aim to provide you with the most accurate and comprehensive feedback in order for you to have that much needed enhancement in your writing projects.  
  
Having said that, please find a few suggestions below;  
  
-After a hard days work,  
- everyone hope ~~have~~to become a tourist, to relax and rest.  
- ~~As well as, their~~V acation is an inspiration to create ~~for their~~like working on a new project and next work.  
- The same ~~about finally~~ aims and goals but there  
- are ~~many different~~difference between tourist  
- from the past and today.  
- Demands of people and develop tourism is a part of this change.  
  
- In the past, most ~~of~~ tourists would like  
- to discover~~discovering~~ and express their freedom.  
- ~~So they found to their destinationby~~They often travel with their motorbike or car.  
- Then ~~went to seesight, discovered this~~they go for sight seeing and go local.  
- Sometimes , they stay at home ~~of~~with the local people instead of hotel.  
- This ~~thing~~ can decrease the vacation cost for ~~their~~the tourist.  
  
There you have it Linh, as you can see, there are quiet a lot of work to be done to enhance your essay and I hope you follow through.
Hi Linh, thank you for your appreciation on our work, we do aim to provide you with the most comprehensive feedback we can possibly give and this is with the hopes to boost your confidence in writing as well as hone or develop your writing skills.  
  
Learning anything is never easy and the same goes in learning a second language. English, on the other hand, is both a very rewarding as well as complicated in some ways but believe me, once you learn the strokes you will be able to use it in a lot of different ways and you will have fun and rewarding days ahead.  
  
So how do you get about learning, well, you start with baby steps, read a lot, this will help you uncover words that you have not read before, words that will help you in your future writing projects and will also show you how they are used in a sentence. Now, you can definitely have fun in learning and in reading, do understand what you read, this is the key to learning the language and yo will definitely benefit from it.
Hi Linh,  
  
Let's start small as i suggested in previous post. You could start with short writings (around 10 sentences). I promise that you would gradually improve your English. Keep up the good work :-)  
  
Getting back to your respond, let's change it into:  
  
*Thank you very much. I am not good at English. I am not good at writing. Can you please help me to correct my sentences?*  
  
I don't really get what you mean by "program into sentences" but i guess you mean "correct your sentences". Please feel free to correct me if i was wrong.
**IELTS: Writing Task 2 : Problem and Solutions Of Motorways**  
  
In over recent years many countries have decided to develop their motorways, which as a result they will able to reduce time and distance of arriving to other cities.I share opinion of some people who say motorways involve some problems.  
  
firstly, the most outstanding problem is environment destruction; which means the governments may cut trees down if they direction cross among the trees. one solution that may works for this problem is that governments focus on area, which the least damages for environment.  
  
In addition, highways some times are dangerous.For example, if driver drove quickly and recklessly, there would occur an accident.In my opinion this problem would be solve if cars companies embedded an intelligence system that could control cars' speed in different situations and also governments have an striking role in this problem, they can introduce limitation rules to decline bad events.  
  
lastly, since motorways are very queit and vast, people rather dirve own cars instead of public transportation this increase can lead to more gas consumption and this is one of pollution causes. I think to tackle this problem government should increase tax of driving in motorways alone.  
  
To conclude, i believe motorways although have a lots of benefit but there are some problems: environment devastation, dangerous due to high speed, and a growth of using own cars. Yet there are some simple cures for them such as concentrate on district with the least damages, setting the limitation rules, and increasing the rate of tax respectively.
Hey pluskid, I try to divide and to comment into several part of your essay,  
  
1.Introduction - your introduction is good enough but there are a few mistake in grammar  
- use punctuation, *(Getting a good result in your IELTS writing test will depend on your punctuation)*  
In over recent years, many countries.......  
- be careful with preposition collocation :)  
they will able to reduce time and distance of **~~arriving to~~** (*arriving at/in*) other cities.I share (an/the) opinion of some ...  
  
2. Body - You need to make it longer :)  
- Use article to make it clear  
... governments focus on (optional) The/an area, which the least damages for The/an environment.  
-misspelling & Verb d/ed  
In addition, highways **some times***(misspelling : **without space**)* are dangerous.  
In my opinion ,*(remember punctuation)* this problem would be ~~solve~~(solved) if cars companies embedded (...) and also governments have ~~**an**~~a striking role in this problem...
Hello pluskid! I will give you some opinions about your essay.  
  
"In over recent years**(,)** many countries have ..." Think about use a comma after describing year in the first sentences, such as 'In 2016, ....".  
  
"**In this essay**, I **will** share **my** opinion**s** of some people who ...".  
  
Be carefull with Capital words in the first sentences, such as 'firstly' and 'lastly'.  
  
"... which means ~~the~~**some** governments may cut trees down if ~~they~~**the** direction across among the trees".  
  
"one solution that may work~~s~~ for this..."  
  
"In addition, **the** highways *some times**(without any space I think)* are dangerous".  
  
"... problem would be solve**d** if **the** car~~s~~ companies..."  
  
"lastly, since motorways are very **queit and vast** (?)..." Maybe 'since motorways are very quite big/ large/ vast'  
  
"... government should increase **the** tax of driving in motorways ~~alone~~ ".  
  
"To conclude, ~~i~~**I** believe**d that****although** motorways ~~although~~ have ~~a lots of~~**more***(avoid using a lot of in the writting essay)* benefit**(,)**~~but~~*(after using although, you do not need to write 'but' because 'although' has showed that there is a contrast sentence)* there are some problems: (...), and ~~a~~ growth of using own cars.
Hi Danial, I hope it's not too late for a few additional enhancements below;  
  
- In ~~over~~the recent years  
- ~~which~~ as a result they will able to reduce  
- time and distance ~~of~~in arriving  
- to ~~other cities~~places .  
- I would like to share my opinion  
- ~~of~~on why some people ~~who~~ say motorways - ~~involve~~can stir up some problems.  
  
- ~~firstly~~First , the most outstanding  
- problem is environmental destruction;  
- which means the government~~s~~ may cut down trees ~~down~~  
- if ~~they~~the direction of the motorway wil come across~~cross among~~ the trees.  
- one solution that may work~~s~~~~for this problem is that~~with the government~~s~~is to focus ~~on~~in an area~~, which~~with the least damage~~s~~ for environment.  
  
There you have it Danial, I hope the corrections are still very valuable to your revision.
Oh that's great to hear, Danial!  
There's nothing more than a word of approval and appreciation of our inputs here on EF. I do hope that we will be able to read and review more of your writing projects here on EF. As you know, we aim at providing you with most comprehensive and objective feedback, in order for you to create an even stronger essay or strengthen an already strong writing project.  
  
Now, for future writing reference, it will help if you review the English language rules from time to time as this keep you abreast to any updates of the English language rules, reading more often will also do you a lot of good, this will open your eyes to a whole lot of words that you may later on, use in your writing projects and just about anything that you want to write.  
  
Lastly, a healthy comparison of your articles, may it be with your classmates, friends or siblings will also hone and develop your sportsmanship in the writing field, it will also let you see different options and approach in writing.  
  
'till your next writing project, keep writing!
Hello Killua, I will give you some opinions about your essay.  
  
The first thing is you should make a different paragraph between introduction and the bodies of paragraph which tell about opinions. Mabye in the last sentences of your introduction, you can give such as "I will give you some/ two mains/ three mains opinions about this view". So reader/ examiner can get the point about where you start describing your opinions and giving the reasons.  
  
There is a grammatical error in the 4 lines "...it brings people in ~~a garden isolated~~**an isolated garden** from the outside **of the** chaotic mall".  
  
I suggest to reduce using personal feeling, such as "This tranquil atmosphere makes ~~me~~ stop ~~to~~ think**ing** about the quality of life ...". I think it should be good, if you use *'this tranquil atmosphere makes **some people**...'*  
  
Such as this sentence, you give better writing style "...Basic but make **buyers** feel satisfied to use it..."  
  
" **Some sizes are slightly smaller than a A-5 paper so [...] the blanks inside are well organized**". You actually good give the reader/ examiner an example about your opinion, however it takes too long and I think it is out of topics.  
  
"Furthermore, I have seen many **people used XX's containers to create a lovely house**; many planners used ...  
On the social network, **many people sleep better** or become more concentrated when they using **the aroma diffusers**". You put some opinions in the same paragraph without any linking words or transition words. The reader/ examiner will be confused about the relationship between those examples.  
  
The last thing is the conclusion which you write in this essay is too short. It probably will be good if you summarize and rewrite again about your opinions in the last paragraph.  
  
Good luck.
Hi Yunyi, here's my take on the last part of your essay.  
  
- XX's lifestyle ( "lifestyle" - is all one word )  
  
- is also about being ~~minimalism~~miimalist ,  
- avoiding the unnecessary.  
- In the ~~making~~ process, ~~the retail will~~they select  
- recyclable paper~~,~~and avoid using ~~some~~ harmful materials.  
- The LED ~~lightnings~~lightings, reduce carbon footprint. - Also, because of the sustainable  
- and ~~thoughtful~~innovative design,  
- All of these ~~bring me its attitude and~~has influenced me to practice~~this~~an eco-friendly attitude ~~has influenced me.~~  
- I believe ~~many other~~a lot of people also like  
- and buy things they ~~only~~ need ~~now~~ .  
  
- ~~In conclusion~~I conclude , I think XX's "Pleasant Life" philosophy ~~meets my needs~~corresponds to my life goals and philosophy .  
  
There you have it Yunyi, I hope the above remarks are helpful to your revision.
could you give me some advices and feedbacks to improve my writing, thank you  
  
**How Fear of Nuclear Power is Hurting The Environment**TED talk by Michael Shellenberger-June 2016  
  
Nowadays, a lot of people in California use clean energy such as solar energy for daily life. It proves by the amount of roof house in California which used a solar panel to produce the electric energy. His research shows the demand of solar energy increased since 2009 and still going up until now, but the percentage of electricity from clean energy started to decrease from 36% to 31% since 1990's. Fossil fuels in California is increasing sharply than the demand of clean energy. Four nuclear plants almost equal solar in 2015 to produced electricity. It is only 10% of energy that produced by solar panel in California. The problem is how to optimalized the demand of energy nowadays. The option is by using nuclear energy.  
  
Nuclear energy has very low-carbon compared with coal, natural gas, and solar panel. The research shows that nuclear energy could provide a lot of power than the others. In other hand, the use of nuclear energy can affect the environment. Survey from Ipsos in 2014 showed solar energy was the most favourite in California, while the second was wind energy, and followed by oil and nuclear energy. Although climate crisis attack mostly part of the worlds, In the next 2040 China will sell nuclear reactors online and it is a nuclear reactor gas. Recent studies show nuclear is the safest in air pollution that coal, petroleum, biomass, and the others gas. The conclusion is to solve the climate crisis or to overcome the clean energy crisis is not by judging the nuclear machine but by solving the fear itself.
Hai Gigih!  
Here are some notes for you.  
  
It ~~proves~~**is proved** by the amount...  
~~His research shows~~[whose research is this?]**Michael Shellenberger, the speaker of this TED Talk, found that** the demand of...  
...Ipsos in 2014 showed **that** solar energy was...  
...part of the worlds, ~~In~~**in****[no capital letter after comma]** the next 2040...  
...nuclear reactors **by** online and it is...  
...in air pollution ~~that~~ than **coal**, petroleum, biomass...  
The conclusion is **that**~~to solve~~**solving** the climate crisis or ~~to overcome~~**overcoming** the clean energy crisis is not ~~by judging~~**judged by** the nuclear machine...  
  
Overall, your essay is well-written.  
Hope this would help you.  
You did a great job.
Hello  
You have a good summary  
I have some corrections  
  
Nowadays, ~~a lot of~~ many people in California use ~~clean energy such as~~**renewable sources which are** solar energy for daily life.  
... increased since 2009 and still ~~going~~ growing up (...) electricity from ~~clean energy~~ renewable sources ~~started to~~ experienced decrease from 36%...  
... sharply than the demand of ~~clean energy~~ renewable sources. **Moreover,**Four nuclear plants almost ...  
... the demand of energy ~~nowadays~~ in current situations. The option **for this problem** is **people can**use nuclear energy.  
  
You can added introduction in the first paragraph.  
You can change the word with the another similar word.