dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
## who has a chance to be a good leader?

  
  
Some people could be naturally good leaders. Others believe that people can learn leadership skills. Discuss both views and give your opinion.  
While some people believe that leadership skills are inborn qualities, others argue that they could be achieved through training or experience. Personally I agree with the latter view.  
  
On the one hand, there are those who believe that great leaders are born with innate characteristics. Their reasoning is that what makes leaders great are not circumstances, but how their talents respond to those situations. In this regard, the attributes such as self-confidence, brilliance and integrity a leader possesses are already in them, so they cannot be learned. A salient example for this should be Winston Churchill. Many researchers claim that with his masterful speeches, he had his 'leadership gene' and personified the kind of leadership that led Britain to victory over Nazi Germany during World War Two.  
  
However, I side with those who argue that training and experience forge one into a prominent leader. Take the case of Uncle Ho as an example. In the hope of finding a way to save Vietnam from invaders, he traveled around the world for thirty years in order to gain insights into Western countries. Under his leadership, Vietnamese people were successful in regaining independence, which makes him the greatest leader in Vietnamese history. This is a testament to the fact that the way to becoming a leader is not straightforward and leadership traits could be refined over time with education and persistence, intangible as they are.  
  
As discussed above, it seems to me that leadership is a lifetime pursuit and good leaders are those who continuously improve themselves and sharpen their skills that would help them in accomplishing their goals.
Vu, when you are given a "2 points of view plus personal opinion" instruction, you must never combine your point of view with the second view that you will be discussing. This type of essay always requires 3 paragraphs covering the con, pro, then the point of view that you support. Basically, the format should be:  
  
1. The point of view you do not support;  
2. The point of view you support;  
3. The personal opinion that further strengthens the reasons of the previous point of view.  
  
Discuss the essay in the exact manner as indicated in the prompt. Do not take shortcuts in your presentation. A shortcut will result in a lower score. A longer discussion will always result in a higher score. The higher score is based upon the more complete C&C as well as GRA presentations in your response. By discussions, I refer to the paragraphs and not the sentences in the paragraph. The sentences should never be more than 5 in order to stay within the paragraph creation guidelines of the test.
**It is becoming increasingly popular for people to travel to tourist destinations during public holidays. What problem(s) does this cause? What solutions are there to these problems?**  
  
## visitors on public holidays issue

  
  
It is true that many people spend their public holidays visiting travel destinations. This essay will argue that turning tourist sites into huge rubbish dumps during these periods of time is a serious downside and a viable way to solve this problem is to prepare more waste disposal facilities.  
  
The danger of litter comes into sight at tourist attractions during national holidays. This is because the number of visitors is increasing rapidly these days and they usually leave behind not just their footprints but a vast quantity of waste after their sightseeing there. Unfortunately, the rubbish generated by tourists is unable to be processed immediately due to the limited capacity of local waste management facilities. For example, travelers often outnumber the resident population in some well-known tourist destinations in Vietnam such as Hoian and Sapa on public holidays and the rubbish they leave behind turns the environment into a place which is under threat of these pollutants because it takes days for locals to clean and process them thereafter.  
  
In order to cope with this issue, governments should provide enough landfill sites on the spot during peak holiday seasons. Although this solution cannot help to enhance the capability for processing on a daily basis of local refuse disposal systems, it can prevent leaving huge mounds of rubbish lying in the open public areas which not only are an eyesore but also breed germs and pests. Another good way to implement this approach is to install more trash cans at tourist destinations because these waste containers are more convenient and easily be removed. According to a survey conducted in 2015 by the Tourist Review Magazine, two fifths of tourists suggested that the provision of extra garbage cans in many places of interest would tackle the problem mentioned.  
  
In conclusion, the huge amount of rubbish being generated by visitors on public holidays endangers the environment of tourist destinations and governments should provide more temporary disposal facilities during this period to deal with it.  
  
*Please help me to increase the band score graded for this essay!*
Earl, you are only asking for help from the contributors and users at this forum. I will not allow you to disrespect the users and contributors here by issuing a command / demand with an exclamation point. Why are you shouting at us? Have we done anything to offend you? Who are you angry at? Why the over emphasis? Are you giving us an ultimatum? What was the purpose of shouting? It doesn't accomplish anything. You will get the same treatment as the other users here. My aim as a contributor is already to help you increase your band score. Therefore, closing your sentence with an exclamation point is something I find highly offensive and a sign of disrespect, not only for myself, but for everyone who uses this forum. Shout at us one more time and nobody will help you with your essay review.  
  
If you review the essay prompt, you will see that you are taking the wrong approach to this essay discussion. You are turning it into a argument when a simple discussion is all that is required. You seem to have a knack for arguing with people. Change that state of mind. Essays are about discussions. Debates are about arguments. This is not a debate, this is an essay discussion. Your whole opening paragraph has taken the wrong approach to the topic provided and does not really represent the expected paraphrasing information. Here is the correct paraphrase for this topic:  
  
*An increasing number of tourists go to travel destinations during holidays. The number of visitors to these areas creates certain problems that require specific solutions. This essay will discuss one of the main problems that this situation causes and suggest a possible solution to the said problem.*  
  
Your discussion of the problem would have been better served by a general instead of specific representation. If the examiner is not familiar with a place that you are discussing, he may not be able to fully grasp the discussion you are presenting. Offering a general scenario in most instances garners a better score than being specific. Unless, that specific reference is made with the support of personal experience or information.  
  
By the way, avoid presenting factual data in your essay. Just use publicly known information to defend your stance. The reasons that you should not present factual data is not because the veracity of your claims will be questioned, but because you do not have the time to do research during the actual exam. More importantly, there is no access to the internet outside of the LAN network of the testing center. Do not practice your essay test in situations that do not emulate the actual set up of the exam center. You will not benefit from that.  
  
Basically, the information I presented to you should help you to increase your overall score. If you continue to have us review your practice essays, I will be able to tell you if your scores are improving or not as you progress.
prompt:  
  
**Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Because modern life is very complex, it is essential for young people to have the ability to plan and organize.  
  
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.**  
  
## two important skills for a young person

  
  
The more complex modern life would be, the more skills are required. Among several skills, it is one of the most important ability to plan and organize works. Some people does not believe that it is necessary for children to equip with this skill, but I disagree with this opinion. These are the reasons why I agree with the argument it is not essential for young generation to have the ability to plan and organize.  
  
To begin with, children need to manage their various roles effectively and this skill is expected to teach young people to manage their diverse responsibilities. To be specific, they play some roles in each different situation. For instance, they are a son or daughter in their house, a friend with their classmates, and a student in front of their teacher. To manage their a wide range of roles successfully, children have to learn the ability to plan and organize their tasks.  
  
In addition, it is the best time to train these skills because young people are likely to learn fast and form their habit. As modern society has been filled with complicated issues, it is required for all people to have strong management skills. But, the problem is that this kind of capabilities cannot nurtured for one day, but should be trained for a long time. On the other hands, children have a tendency to learn something quickly and absorb the genuine skills faster than adult because they have few stereotypes about learning something new. Furthermore, childhood is the period that they form their own habits, children can easily use this time to develop their management skills.  
  
To wrap up, I support the opinion it is essential for young people to have ability to plan and organize because children also need to manage their various roles and it is good timing to train them to gain these abilities. In other words, the skills for management will be beneficial to children and childhood could be used to build their own habits. That is why I agree with the opinion that it is necessary for young people to nurture that skills.
Matthew, you have neglected to perform the most important part of writing an academic essay test. That is, you did not read what you wrote before you submitted the work for scoring consideration. I will focus on this major error on your part in this essay instead of the other mistakes that you made because the mistake that you made in your opinion discussion will result in a failing score for your essay.  
  
To quote, you said that; "... I agree with the argument it is **not** essential ..." So you are saying that you do not agree that the ability to plan and organize is essential in the life of young people. Yet, in the overall context of the essay, as well as your concluding paragraph, what you indicate is; "... **I support** the opinion..." and also state that; "I **agree** with the opinion" Which is it? It is either you support or do not support the statement. You cannot suddenly change your statement at the end.  
  
This is a mistake that could have been avoided had you allotted enough time to review your essay prior to submission. You need to learn how to plan your writing so that you have enough time to edit yourself if necessary towards the end of the allotted time. Constantly reviewing of the content is necessary if you are to create a well developed, coherent, and logically presented essay to the examiner. That is the method by which you can target a higher score than usual in the end.  
  
Sadly, the work that you did in this essay is sloppy and shows a lack of proper analyzing and thinking on your end in terms of the discussion points provided in the original instruction. Be careful. It is always small slip ups like these that tend to fail an exam taker.
@Katthew Kim  
These are a few comments for you and I hope it is helpful.  
Firstly, the opening paragraph is not really smooth (with both sentence construction and they way you use your words)  
Secondly, the points you made in the essay is ok but you should have a deeper look inside your argument and strengthen it.  
Lastly, I found it weird that you use the world "CHILDREN" referred to "YOUNG PEOPLE" in the topic.
## verbal skills evaluation

  
  
There have been some discussions about the important of speaking skills over writing skills. As far as I am concern, each of these skills plays a crucial role in our life, but if I should choose one skill whose advantages are more likely to overweigh the other, I would say that it is communication skill.  
  
First, when you meet someone for the first time, the way you speak is really important in making the impression. Most people believe that how you speak partly reveals who you are. If you first speak to someone and you speak clearly and fluently, you will leave a good impression on him. Or else, he might end up thinking that you are not an interesting person, and that will affect the relationship between you and that man later.  
  
Second, if you are able to speak well, you have more chances to develop your social relationships. When people first meet new friends, they tend share their interests or attitude towards things, and those with the same interests make friends together. Therefore, being able to communicate well means that you enlarge your social relationships. With my personal experience, I have never seen someone with a good interpersonal skill that has just a few friends.  
  
Last but not least, people who are good at speaking are more likely to be successful at work. Generally speaking, all jobs require communication as a basic skill. For example, every day you must work with a lot of partners, discuss with your boss, even you have to negotiate with partners from another company. Hence, speaking skill is crucial to your career. It does not only help you get along with your partners but also achieve specific goal in your job.  
  
To sum up, both speaking and writing skills are truly important in our daily lives as well as our jobs. Although I believe that being able to speak well seem to be more helpful than writing well, we should attempt to manage and master both skills.
Kim, in today's politically correct world, it is no longer proper to assume that the default gender of a person is male. Rather than indicating a "male" gender in your discussion, use alternative references such as "person", "it" or "their". That way you write in a modern manner that uses a blanket gender reference instead of a default reference. This only applies if you do not know the actual gender of a person though. If you are sure you are addressing a male or female, then use the applicable pronouns and gender references when discussing them.  
  
Aside from that particular correction, there is no problem with the discussion points you developed in your essay. These are all applicable to general settings and shows that you are capable of expressing yourself coherently in English. Towards the end though, you mentioned writing in the conclusion. I would not have done that if I were you because you did not do a comparative discussion in the earlier paragraphs to warrant the sudden comparative mention that you made in the concluding statement. This new representation would have required you to continue the discussion into a number of additional paragraphs in order to better establish your comparative essay discussion.
**Topic:** *Convenience foods will become increasingly prevalent and eventually replace traditional foods and traditional methods of food preparation. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?*  
  
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## Convenience foods vs traditional foods

  
  
There has been a considerable increase of total expenditure of convenience foods in many developed countries. Hence, some people have projected that if there is no restriction or regulation, it will be widespread and thus the disappearance of traditional foods. However, in my view, I would argue that this circumstance will not correct itself over time.  
  
There are clearly certain advantages to convenience foods which make it become an attractive option. It is true that this kind of food needs less preparation than the conventional ones, therefore saves a lot of time. With advances in food technology, it has been upgraded significantly in terms of variety, quality and a large range of expenses which completely satisfies the vast consumer market. It could also be disputed that this food sector gains desirably tremendous profits.  
  
Nevertheless, traditional foods and traditional methods of food preparation have become an unreplaceable aspect of culture and life. In important occasions such as weddings, Thanksgiving or Christmas, a traditionally prepared meal has always been an integral part over time. In many countries, especially in the Asia, being able to cook the meals has virtually become the norm choosing a partner of men. It is also true that many traditional families prefer to prepare foods rather than buy the processed ones because the natural ingredients are considered to be more fresh and cheaper.  
  
Because of its utility, the convenience foods are predicted to become more far-reaching in the future. Nonetheless, it is unlikely to happen that one day people will stop enjoying home-cooked meals at least some of the time.
Nguyen, what are you arguing about in your essay? The prompt is asking you to discuss one of two things, the extent of either your agreement or disagreement with the given topic. You were to discuss and support only one of the two opinions provided. There is no "argue" instruction in the prompt. Your whole discussion is wrong and as such, proves that you did not understand the requirements of the essay instructions. The original instruction is not asking you if you think this situation will correct itself over time. Why did you create your own prompt discussion topic?  
  
This type of glaring error in discussion will result in an overall score of 1. Based on your TA performance, this score means that the rest of the scoring considerations need not be given a rating. That is because the rating for the other 3 remaining sections depend upon the validity and applicability of your opening statement response in relation to the TA. Failure to properly represent the task instructions means everything else in the essay no longer applies.
Hi Chocuatt,  
  
I think it is an interesting topic and you have some good points to prove your opinion. For example, being able to cook well has always been one of the norm for choosing family partner is Asian countries.  
  
However, you need to change your structure just as Holt mentioned above. I suggest you make 2-3 paragraphs to explain your opinion:  
Para 1: Traditional food is fresher and healthier than convenience one => People nowadays are shifting their eating habit from convenience to nutrient.  
Para 2: Traditional food plays an integral part in Asian family => Traditional meal is a culture, men tend to love women who can cook well  
Para 3: You can list out advantages of fast food and state that it brings us lots of benefits as well, besides traditional food.  
  
Good luck.
Waseem, this is a good enough effort at writing a simple English statement. Even though you have very obvious problems work spelling, grammar and punctuation, your statement was pretty much coherent. It conveys a basic idea on a basic level of presentation. Having said that, I need to educate you about how this forum works. You cannot come here and post paragraph by paragraph. You won't get any useful advice from us if you approach your essay writing that way. You need to post the prompt or essay instructions along with your completed essay. It doesn't matter if the essay is bad. The worse it is, the better. It is in that problematic essay format that we can help you improve the most. I urge your complete your essay for this topic first. Then you can come back here for a complete review and assessment of your written work. Trust me, you will show a marked improvement by the time you write your second practice essay. That is, after we make suggestions for the improvement of your first completed essay.
Hello, waseem.  
  
I am glad to put my comments here. These are my thoughts about your short writing and whether you will apply my advice or not is up to you since it is just my idea.  
  
Firstly, I think you had better use conjunction to make your writing smoother. For instance, you can put 'In particular' in front of secondary sentence and 'in addition' before third sentence.  
  
In addition, if you think about how modern technology is different from simple technology, your content will be plentiful because I don't gain any information about the difference between these two concept.  
  
You had better practice to describe what you want exactly even though there would be some grammatical errors. Since I am also not a native speaker, I know very well how tough it is to learn English writing. However, I cannot fully understand your main point unless you will give me more details.  
  
Hope this advice will be beneficial for you.
**Q. The graph below shows the contribution of three sectors - agriculture, manufacturing, and business and financial services - to the U.K. economy in the twentieth century.**  
  
## which sectors are influencing UK economy the most?

  
  
The given bar chart illustrates three different sectors which contributed to the UK economy over the period of 1900 to 2000.  
  
Generally, agricultural and manufacturing sectors influenced in U.K. economic development during the first half of the century, but in the late twentieth century, business and financial sector was the major contributor of the economy.  
  
To begin with, agricultural industry was the major determinant of the economy from 1900 to 1950 where its percentage were around 50. In addition, the percentage of manufacturing sector was almost comparable to the former one in 1900 with 47. However, in 1950, the market share of manufacturing industry was almost four fifth of that of agricultural market with just under 40 percent. In early part of second half of the century, the trend was apparently reversed where economic distribution of agricultural field was significantly declined and had nearly one third of the market share in comparison with manufacturing sector which took the highest position with almost 35 percent. Regarding business and financial sector, its market contribution was the least in the first half of the century with around 10 percent, henceforth, it gained dramatic rise and reached the peak in 2000 with 35 percent of the UK economy.  
  
*
Mao, the format of your summary analysis is not very good. The summary analysis needs to provide a summary somewhere in the essay. For most exam takers, they prefer to place this summary in the first paragraph of the essay. You have a one liner overview, which creates an incomplete paragraph. Each paragraph must contain the minimum 3 sentence requirement as per the C&C considerations. The Task 1 essay is always considered complete enough to get a decent score once it presents 4 paragraphs containing an accurate analysis of the provided information. In your case, you compressed the whole analysis essay into 2 paragraphs with the second paragraph running too long and representing a limited amount of information from the chart. The chart itself offered you enough material to cover 5 paragraphs, which would have garnered you an even higher score. There is little evidence of an analysis running longer and more in-depth than what you just glanced at in the chart. This is not a very well developed essay and the presentation limits your ability to have an improved score in the end.