dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
**Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads.  
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?**  
  
Many people hold the view that governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. While I think it is essential to invest in developing the railways, I disagree with the view that governments only concerntrate on developing the railways instead of making a balance of policy for both.  
  
On the one hand, it is reasonable that the railways should be promoted stronglier. First of all, the railway often helps save the time of transporting than the road because it is an own line just for train, therefore, the train on railways will not meet the situation of traffic jam. In addtion, the train is capable of holding a large number of passengers and commodities by its lenght . Secondly, the width of railway is narrow, as a result, it will help save areas for the country for the other purposes. Futhermore, making use of railways in transport will partly reduce packed streets and accidents, also protecting more environment than using the private vehicles on road.  
  
On the other hand, there are several drawbacks of railways compared with roads. In fact, the building of railways is not easy and costly because it demands a higher technique in desining, especially the material of the railway is often iron can be eroded in the condition of outer weather. This lead to it be broken down and will cause a delay for total trains acting on it. Besides we are undeniable the convenience of the road is than the railway when the train will only act according to the specific schedule that means that in the urgent situations, we will have to wait while we can use the vehicles on road such as car, or motorbike whenever we want to.  
  
In conclusion, investment in railways is completely neccessary for their benefits, however, the road also play a vital role in transport. For these reasons, it is clear that the goverment should spend a proper policy for both.
The writer has written a failing score essay at this point. In terms of task accuracy, he has shown that he is incapable of restating the topic in his own words. He used the cut and paste method of stating the topic. That earns the paragraph an automatic failing score. Something that does not surprise me since this student cannot even offer fellow students original advice. He is constantly plagiarizing my advice as the educational consultant. This further proves that he does not have any sort of ability to pass the actual test unless he has someone or something to copy from.  
  
His discussion formatis also incorrect as he commits 2 errors in the presentation:  
- He does not provide the correct extent format for the discussion. How strongly does he support his opinion?  
- He uses a comparative discussion format where a single opinion + 2 supporting paragraphs are required.  
  
These errors, along with an inability to produce an original restatement will result in a failing score for this exam taker. Unless he can stop being a copycat/ plagiarizer and, he learns to respond based on expected patterns, he will never improve his writing towards a passing score.
## Hosting an international sports event

  
  
Some people think that hosting an international sports event is good for the country, while some people think it is bad. Discuss both views and state your opinion.  
  
It is true that staging a worldwide sport event is a controversial subject in every country. While there might be some reasons to oppose it, I believe that such an event would benefit the host country greatly in terms of reputation and tourism.  
  
On the one hand, the idea of holding a global sport event is disadvantageous to some extent. Firstly, many people suppose it is just a waste of money because the host country would have to spend a significant portion of its budget on hosting this massive event rather than improving the lives of its citizen. Secondly, constructing an enormous stadium may require surrounding residents to leave their homes, affecting the geological structure of that area.  
  
On the other hand, there are a variety of reasons why I believe the host country could gain certain advantages from organizing an international sport event. The main one is that the host nation can use this event to promote the country's image to friend all over the world. As a result, the host's reputation as a hospitable country is improving. Furthermore, tourism also has a good opportunity to flourish when numerous foreigners visit the country for the event. It is considered a good occasion to promote culture, clothing, heritage and other attractive destinations for tourists.  
  
To summarize, although hosting a global sport event presents certain drawbacks, I contend that it should be encouraged in order to improve the host country's prestige and tourism's development. It is advisable that governments take different initiatives to reduce the negative effects
The writer has not provided an accurate prompt restatement + personal opinion paragraph. He has presented and began his personal opinion discussion in the first paragraph rather than doing a simple restatement of the 2 public opinions along with his personal thoughts + reasons. The 3 sentence paragraph does not meet the restatement requirements because the writer did not accurately restate the public points of view prior to stating his personal thoughts. The paragraph will not receive full scoring considerations due to these errors in presentation.  
  
The writer did his best to discuss the public opinions in each paragraph, even going to the extent of delivering a non-developed second public reason in some instances. However, he did not represent his personal opinion of the public point of view based on an effective discussion format. The format for the discussion should follow the format:  
  
Public Opinion + Reason + Personal Opinion + Reason = Properly developed discussion paragraph  
  
There is a missing element of the public opinion discussion. Based on the format he has chosent o use, there needs to be another paragraph that totally discusses the second opinion of the public in the essay before the personal opinion paragraph. The personal opinion cannot be continued as a discussion point in the summary conclusion either as this will create an open ended discussion presentation. A proper reverse conclusion should be provided in that section for proper scoring application.  
  
The writer will do good to note that he has also provided solutions to the given situation even though it was not required by the prompt provided. This conclusion deviation has resulted in additional information that will not receive a score and also, cause a failure of the essay due to a prompt deviant presentation paragraph.  
  
As of now, the writer has not written an essay that gives me the confidence that he will receive a passing score in an actual test.
The writer should make up his mind about the subject reference. Will it be pets in general or dogs? The interchangeable use of these terms in the essay tends to confuse a reader. He must understand that domesticated animals, or pets, are not limited to dogs alone. If he wishes to use dogs as the sole reference point, then he must revise the references and other aspects to relate solely to dogs. As of now, the target of the study is confusing to follow.  
  
The writer also needs to seek professional editing or rewriting for his essay to clean up the sentence structure problems and discussion clarity issues. The student is obviously ESL and as such, tends to miss out on correcting these errors. The writing and presentation problems affect the clarity and understandability of his research paper.
The writer need not repeat the prompt requirements in the first paragraph unless he was actually qquestioning these references already. Itwas a waste of time since the personal arguments of the author should have been the basis for the opening statement. What specific areas did he find to be questionable? Why?  
  
The essay is acceptable enough in terms of discussion points but could use more developmentin terms of responding to or explaining how the questions he posed could have been better addressed using specific methodologies not considered by the article. That aspectof the presentation feels rushed in development.  
  
The sentence structures and grammar used are notperfect. Itoften gives away the ESL nature of the writer. He must work harder to remove ESL traces in his writing to achieve a higher score.
Write about the following topic:  
## Computers are often argued to be the most important invention of the last hundred years.

  
***To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?***  
  
*Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.  
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.*  
  
Since the beginning of the 20th century, or often known as the era of technological advancement, humankind has witnessed a multitude of breakthrough events, among which is the invention of the computer, a sophisticated machine that is often argued to be the greatest milestone in the history of technology. From my perspective, I totally agree with the statement for the following reasons.  
  
To begin with, a wide range of today's indispensable devices and conveniences would not have been made possible and accessible without the help of computers. To illustrate, from a macro-perspective, many of the most remarkable astronomical events, namely landing on the moon or launching satellites, in their infancy were merely numbers and statistics programmed and stored in a computer. Regarding our everyday life, from the emails sent to the recreational applications we install on our phones, all have been facilitated in some ways by the use of computers.  
  
The computer, along with other inventions, has left its footprint in numerous fields, and inadvertedly altered the way we live our lives. In terms of education and recreation, it is undeniably that computers have been providing us with a considerable number of applications and tools, that optimise our learning and relaxing experience, yet still holding a great deal of potentials to offer. Regarding medical purposes, the introduction of multiple modern equipments, the process of examining and treating a patient has been made more economical and time-saving, not to mention less painful. Last but not least, as it is constantly improved with up-to-date and more sophisticated technology, one can confidently say that, in the years to come, the computer will be an irreplaceable part in human life in the most holistic and beneficial way.  
  
To conclude, although some may argue that there are plenty of other inventions that are more advanced and have greater impacts on our lives, such as the Internet, or most recent, the rise of Artificial Intelligence and humanoid robots, the computer as the most crucial invention still has my support.  
  
THANK YOU FOR YOUR FEEDBACKS AND SUGGESTIONS
@minhtamdav  
Hi there. Welcome to the forum. I hope that this feedback somehow helps you in your writing endeavors in the future. Should it be of help, I would be glad to assist you in your writing endeavors for future references!  
  
While the introductory paragraph was quite astounding given how much intrinsic detail you had, I recommend that you opt to simplify the first sentences. The first sentences are all about making concrete and ensuring that the details that you've laid out would be fully understood by the readers. Given that having so many complex words would impede these processes, I highly recommend that you section everything into a more comprehensible bundle. To clarify, this means that you should be more straightforward with the intent of your text.  
  
Furthermore, while the next paragraphs were great and put-together, I recommend that you opt to incorporate more real-world examples to assist readers into understanding the bulk of the text that you have. Doing this would definitely help people further their understanding - and, in the process, you'd have an enhanced outlook on the situation at-hand.  
  
Best of luck.
As a task 2 IELTS essay response, it is safe to say that this paper has been over written. With only a 40 minute time frame to write a response, the excessive word count has created more problems and scoring deductions rather than scoring improvements for the writer. When an essay is too long and over presented, it creates more grammar and sentence structure problems for the writer as his focus moves from the quality of his writing to simply writing more words for no apparent reason.  
  
One of the problems with the essay is that the personal opinion is not supported by at least 2 thesis topics that would show the line of thinking of the author as it relates to the given discussion parameters. While he did state that his reasons were to follow in the next paragraphs, that reference does not help solidify the writer's opinion in relation to the score that is based on opinion and thought clarity. Without the supporting reasons, the opinion statement comes across as incompletely developed and lacking in convincing discussion starters.  
  
The other problem of the presentation is the hyper focus on an increased LR score. Why is this a problem? Though the writer shows an advanced knowledge of English words, these are not often used in a manner that flows well with the discussion presentation. The words used in a task 2 essay should be more along the lines of everyday conversational English since the audience for the presentation are not professionals but rather, ordinary people. While the chosen advanced English words are impressive, the impropriety of its usage in the presentation are what causes the problem with regards to its use in sentence presentations.  
  
The writer shows a clear understanding of the prompt and ability to deliver a related discussion series. However, the incorrect scoring focus proves to be his biggest obstacle to a passing score.
## Accommodation in England and Wales from 1918 to 2011

  
  
The bar chart illustrates the proportion of households in owned and households in rented accommodation in England and Wales from 1918 to 2011.  
Overall, the percentage of people rented accommodation in two countries recorded a significantly decrease over a decade. While the opposite is true for households in owned accommodation.  
  
As we can see, the proportion of people renting accommodation in 1918 was 77%, which was the highest in the chart. During the following years, England and Wales saw a dramatic decline to 37% in 2011. While an enormous growth was recorded in people who owned house by 41% between 1918 and 2011.  
  
From 1939 to 1953, the percentage of families in rented accommodation and people owned accommodation in England and Wales remain unchanged. Between 1991 and 2001, the percentage of people had own house observed a slight increase whereas a marginal drop was seen in families rented house for living
The writer tends to have a redundant presentation in the use of the word "household", It was used as a descriptive term repeatedly in one paragraph proving that the English vocabulary of the author is limited and he does not know ample knowledge of alternative word usage. This must be improved in future essays as his LR score will suffer because of it.  
  
With regards to sentence structure, the presentation of the summary overview and the reporting paragraphs requires more division of content for clarity. That means, every sentence must contain only one idea to give clarity to the paragraph. Run on sentences as presented will lower the GRA score due to a confusing thought presentation.  
  
The aassumption when writing this report is that the reader cannot see the actual image. Hence the need for a creative and imaginative way of reporting the information. There can be no reference to "as can be seen" because of the writing method required.
**Task 2:  
*Scientific research should be carried out and controlled by the governments rather than private companies.*  
## Do you agree or disagree?**  
  
The question of whether scientific research is funded by the government or private companies has been a controversial topic. In my opinion, I completely agree with the former as governments could collaborate with other countries and look for sponsorships easily.  
  
Admittedly, there are many good reasons to say that scientific research which is carried out by the government can be beneficial. Chief of these is that it is straightforward for governments when having a collaboration with other nations. Granted, when doing research, there would have the lack of types of equipment and scientists, thus, such a demand can be accepted because countries can compensate the lack of each other and both can be benefitted. For example, America and Australia collaborated with their primary aim is to upgrade the spaceships which can help them to find more answers about Mars. However, as for private firms, it is such a challenging task for them because some of them do not have enough reputation, so foreign companies can have some reluctance when having a contract to collab.  
  
Furthermore, when doing scientific research, governments could ask for sponsorships easier than the way private companies do. This is predicated on the assumption that there are other needed areas have to be subsidized such as environment, or education, therefore, the investment in scientific research is not enough. This, according to this theory, looking for a sponsorship is utterly necessary, and the public is those who can sponsor the government's project. In other words, people can put faith in their countries, so the vast majority of them are keen on serving due to their pride in being a citizen of their nations. Private companies, on the other hand, it is hard for them to find a sponsorship because not many people or firms can even think this research can become successful, thus, it is a waste of money to spend on.  
  
In conclusion, I would argue that scientific research should be done by the government because they have more good relationships with other countries, and more trusts that the public are willing to assist, compared to private corporations.  
  
(351 words)
The writer has over written his essay to the point where there is a great possibility that he cannot complete all the proofreading in relation to the scoring requirements within 40 minutes. Being highly verbose in a time limited test does not prove to be beneficial most of the time. He must learn to use concise discussion sentences that will lead to cohesive paragraphs. Learn to watch the clock while drafting, writing, and editing during the practice sessions to better judge how long it will take to do the same during the actual test.  
  
The response provided for the personal opinion is incorrect even as a proper thesis reference was provided. There should not be an extent response provided since that is not the basis of the discussion question. Always review the prompt after completing the draft so changes and adjustments can be made to the content. Try to catch score reducing errors within the 2nd writing stage. This allows ample time for rewrites or revisions as necessary.  
  
While I can estimate the sectional and final band score for this essay, the writer will have to contact me privately for these client exclusive services. My email is listed below.
***Some people think that space exploration is a waste of resources while others think that it is essential for mankind to continue to explore the universe in which we live.***  
  
## Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

  
  
Along with technology innovation, humankind is making its steps towards space exploration. Such huge change has caused an argument: some people believe this progress overuses resources, while the others show a great avocation. To my view, it is necessary for men to continue this journey; however, the usage of resources should be considered.  
  
Conquest of outer space has taken away parts of government expenditures and natural resources. Developed countries, especially great nations such as the United States and Russia, have invested a huge amount of state budget in planetary exploration. It is reported that the United States has spent more than twenty billion dollars annually on NASA in recent years. Furthermore, because the universe out there is a discrepancy from our planet Earth, sophisticated technology is indispensable for astronauts' safety and space travel efficiency. Governments need to use a plethora of available resources to develop aerospace technology since it requires a wide range of different natural assets.  
  
Although this science is expensive, its necessity is undeniable. Understanding the Earth is not enough; space exploration helps humans to predict the future of mankind. Planetary exploration contributes to predicting the time the Earth collapses with other asteroids and discovering another livable planet. Moreover, many individuals now show a big interest in encountering our "neighbours" in outer space. Humans can therefore apply new knowledge and bring Earth life to a higher stage.  
  
By way of conclusion, space science has numerous advantages that it should be focused on and developed in the near and far future. Still, governments should spend a considerable amount of national budget and natural resources so that it will not affect other national preoccupations and global issues.  
  
*Can someone helps me review my essay? Thanks a lot!*
The prompt restatement is acceptable and shows a degree of control over the creation of simple and complex sentences. However, the discussion is not one that the examiner will be considered as a simple to understand presentation. While it is impressive to know that the writer can use college level English words that are used in specialized discussions, this does not mean that he was able to use the word properly in the sentence. The examiner is not looking for impressive big word usage in the essay. He is looking at the ability of the test taker to explain himself using simple everyday words. The vocabulary must consist of everyday words that the student will be using to express himself in social and academic settings. Use of specialized words will not really help the LR score when it is used out of context.  
  
The writer gave a general discussion of the given points of view rather than delivering a comparative discussion of the public and personal opinion of the writer. The essay therefore only discusses the point of view of the writer rather than both public and private opinions as required. So the essay will be scored based on partially correct discussion considerations. The lack of pronoun usage in the discussion will definitely have a negative effect on the GRA score.  
  
Though the discussion is good, it is not in the expected discussion format so the scoring considerations for the essay shall be limited in scope.
## Usage of different communication services

  
  
The graph illustrates the number of diverse communication amenities which were utilized in the world over the period from 1998 to 2008.  
  
Overall, the figure for 5 services saw an upward trend during the period, with the highest point belonging to Cellular phone service in 2008.  
  
The number of people choosing Cellular service as a priority witnessed a considerably increasing trend by about 55%, from 5% to 60% at the end of the period. Whereas the figure for Internet service's customers also rose moderately but this change was not as substantial as Cellular phone service, from around 3% to 20% in 2008.  
  
Starting at the highest level in 1998 with 15% but the number of Landline service usages grew slightly by about 2% during the researched period. Two remaining services recorded no choice during the first three years of the survey. However, in 2002, the figure enjoyed a steady rise before reaching approximately 5% in the last year of the period.  
  
Many thanks for your help!  
  
*