dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
## parenting skills comparison

  
  
In recent years ,the comparison between men and women parental guidance in various societies has been a debatable topic. Some people are convinced that women will play a better role in educating children while I believed that both genders are equally good at parenting.  
  
First and foremost, it may be undeniable that women images has been attached to numerous works such as being a housewife. This stereotype has been formed an excessive long time ago - when women were considered to be stayed at home and looked after their kids. However, in the past few years, genders equality has been a remarkable topic, which is synonymous with women having the equal jobs opportunity and the same amount of work as men. Therefore, childcare and parenting should be divided identically; nevertheless, both men and women have the same excellent parental guidance.  
  
Secondarily, men's contribution to a child development when it comes to discipline. This becomes important as the child's time management skills becomes the key to their overall behavioral and personality traits. For example : ensuring children to wake up on time or spends the right amount of time for studying and indoor or outdoor games can be enforced by the father. Additionally, ensuring a balanced and nutritious diet for a child is done better by women; for instance, mothers can are in better position to understand what their child needs to be prepared in lunchbox at school. In addition, women are tend to have an emotional connection better with their child; therefore, they can understand children's mindset.  
  
To conclude, I am of the opinion that both genders can be a good parent due to the gender equality features and the specialization at parenting skills in both mother and father roles.
I think you should try to cut down the words as unnecessary(First and foremost=First,firstly)  
It maybe undeniable = it is undeniable(be firm with your statement inorder to guide people into the thinking of yours)  
Excessive(adj)  
I think the word "considered","identically" is not using in the right context (believe and equally could be better)  
In my opinion,the last sentence of the second paragraph should not be mentioned and should be replaced with a further explaination(giving example,...)  
\*Secondarily is wrong (Second)  
After the phrase for example should be a comma  
Enforced is not right in this context(responsible is)  
\*Can are is grammatically wrong
You have written the right number of words to get maximum scoring considerations for this essay. However, you still have errors in terms of spelling, grammar (tense usage), clarity, and conciseness. After you gave your opinion in the opening paraphrase, you should have added 2 sentences at the end for maximum TA scoring. The sentences to be added should have indicated the reasons why you believe that men and women are equally good at parenting. Mention just the reasons, do not explain anything at that point.  
  
Avoid the use of word fillers like , "First and foremost", "Secondarily" as these words do not help to advance your GRA or LR score. You have a very bad grammar error in the presentation: mothers can are (can be). There are also improperly formatted sentences scattered throughout your essay. There are so many that I cannot correct those individually in this thread.  
  
The conclusion needs to be 3-5 sentences. You have a run-on sentence in the conclusion. You need to divide that into 3-5 sentences. Summarize the discussion points that you presented within individual sentences that reflect a proper summary conclusion.
## Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the first punishment.

  
  
In recent years, after being released from jails, numerous criminals have been seen to re-offend. This issue results from both subjective and objective reasons. This essay will mention the causes and recommend some solutions to resolve this matter.  
  
Lawbreakers commit crime again for a number of reasons. From the objective perspective, it is indisputable that people with criminal record often have difficulties in adapting to the life outside prison. This is partly because after being imprisoned for such a long time, they become conditioned to the life behind the bars. Furthermore, it is the prejudice and the concern of the society that cannot easily accept these offenders. Some people will look down on these prisoners or others may have a fear that those having criminal record can re-offend anytime. As a result, many people have to struggle to find paid-jobs after gaining freedom outside the jail. They may resort to crime such as bootlegging or robbery as a way of making a living. From the subjective perspective, in some cases, criminal behavior is a mindset. Regardless of being influenced by witnessing violence from a young age or being born naturally, it is challenging to change these immoral behaviors. For that reason, the likelihood of re-offending in the criminals who have aggressive mindset is ominous.  
  
Many measures have been given to resolve this problem. First of all, it is the responsibility of the government to launch training programs in prison to help lawbreaker distinguish between right and wrong and develop new skills. Additionally, ex-convicts should receive counseling before re-entering society. This will aid them to get an overview of the life outside the world. Secondly, with the assistance of rehabititaion, prisoners can avoid anti-social behaviors and make right choices to their lives.  
  
In conclusion, there have been two main factors that lead to the re-offence of some criminal. Both authorities and offenders themselves have to take concerted effort in addressing this problem for the sake of their society.
Your second paragraph is too long. You should only write within the 275-290 word parameter. You have written 327 words, but failed to properly review and revise your content. So you ended up with 10 uncorrected errors in the essay representing: spelling, grammar, along with C&C issues. These errors are detrimental to your final score because each error that you make will result in a deduction for every scoring consideration. I cannot stress the importance of reviewing and revising your essay. If you do not do that, you end up with several deductions, which can actually make you fail the test. Always remember to review and correct your essay. The less errors, the higher your score.  
  
You have not properly responded to the required information from the prompt. Direct topic responses would have been better for your TA score than this extremely long, but unedited essay presentation. Try to use topic sentences at the start of the reasoning paragraphs as well. It helps direct the content of your paragraph and helps the examiner anticipate your discussion thoughts. Then thresh out the supporting reasons within 4 sentences. Do not overwrite. It never helps a student get a better score in the Task 2 presentation.
I'm so glad if someone could spend time on my writing task. Thank you in advance.  
  
## Transport via water, road, rail and pipeline

  
  
The line graph compares four transports in terms of the numbers of the commodities that they conveyed over a period 28 years in the UK.  
  
It's clear that the total number of transported goods in the UK rose significantly between 1974 and 2002. In particular, a much smaller products shipped by rail in comparison with water, pipeline and road experienced the fastest growth in transport usage.  
  
In 1974, around 70 million tonnes of goods were transported by road mode. The pipeline was in the bottom at 5 million tones, while the water and rail types stood at just under 40 million tones. Delivering by pipeline, water and road rose slightly in 1978, whereas the use of the rail for shipment dropped negligibly.  
  
By 2002, the goods conveyed by road reached approximately 100 million tones, a considerably of almost 30 million tones. The figure shows the numbers of commodities transported by rail were almost unchangeable, while the of pipeline and water were higher, at about 21 and 63 million tones, respectively.  
  
*
Your summary overview should be divided into individual sentences. Identify the line graph, its representations, measurements, and year references as individual sentences. This should cover at least 4 sentences in your presentation. Make sure to attach the single sentence trending statement when you can. While you may use a stand alone trending statement, you need to have a minimum of 3 sentences in that presentation to meet the minimum sentence requirement. That should also help you write about 190 words, which is the maximum word count for this essay.  
  
Your last paragraph is missing a comparison discussion. That is, the reference to the overlapping measurement in 1978 for water and rail. Your current presentation is good enough, but lacking in certain aspects. Some will say that missing out on the comparative element will lower your score, I tend to believe that it will lower the score but not significantly, provided you thoroughly presented, analyzed, and explained the other information in the essay.
The first paragraph should be a paraphrase of the question and an overview including the time period, involved country, the type of graph etc.  
  
For example:  
Given is a line chart comparing the amount of goods transported by 4 types of transportations in Britain from 1974 to 2002, a 28-year period. It is evident that the usage of all transportation modes increased considerably during this time frame, except for rail.  
  
As for 2 or 3 paragraph, it is more ideal to make a comparison on the trend of different transportations. Eg. The usage of pipeline rose consistently while that of road saw considerable fluctuations at somewhere between...  
  
Hope this helps!
## The maps below show the village of Stokeford in 1930 and 2010.

  
***Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.***  
  
*Write at least 150 words.*  
  
The diagrams illustrate the transformation in the village of Strokeford in two different years, 1930 and 2010.  
Overall, the village saw spectacular developments with more houses built up during the 80-year period. Additionally, some places disappeared on the map of 2010.  
In 2010, the number of houses constructed alongside the road rose dramatically, and the road was extended to meet the increasing demand of people's housing areas. Notably, while the post office and the bridge across the Stoke River stay unchanged, the two shops next to the office were demolished to make way for buildings. In addition, two farmland on the left and right of the 1930 map disappeared in 2010  
  
Besides, on the east of the map in 1930, the primary was a small one; however, it became bigger according to the map's illustration in 2010. Moreover, in the center of the village, the large house in the grounds of the garden converted into a retirement home.
Could you attach the map in this thread? We are unable to give you many advices without that.  
  
I tried to look through the content and found some minor mistakes:  
-Overall, the village saw ... Additionally, some ... -> It is ideal to place these sentences in paragraph one as an overview[/R]  
two farmland**s**  
... the primary was a small one -> (what is the primary? the name of a building in the map?)
## tourists in dover and troy

  
  
There was a fluctuation in the number of tourists visiting Troy in four seasons. Under 5000 tourists in spring was the lowest number. Then there was a considerably increase of tourists in summer and it peaked at 22.000 at that time. The last two seasons of the years were the time this number decreased to 5000 in the winter.  
  
On the other hand, people spent time visiting Dover most in winter. Spring was the time in which people visited Dover least and this number reached the bottom at 5000. The next two seasons witnessed the sharp increase in the number of tourists from 5000 to 15000 in the fall. After that, this number rose again and peaked at 25000 in winter.  
  
*
The task 1 essay uses a 3 paragraph format for its information analysis and presentation. You only have two paragraphs comprising 121 words. This analysis paper is not well written. It lacks a proper analysis that would have allowed you to reach the minimum 150 word count. The deduction percentage for the lacking words will be just too high for this essay to reach a baseline passing score. So, what was missing from this essay? You forgot to include a summary overview as the first paragraph. You dove directly into an analysis of the information, which led to the lacking word count. The analysis itself is acceptable. However, the incorrect format (missing summary overview) is what really had a major effect on the final score of this presentation.
## Write a report for university lecturer describing the information in the table below

  
  
The given table shows the ways people in Someland spend time in different age group on an annual basis. In general, Watching TV/Videos is the most recreational activity which make up almost freetime of residents.  
  
Teenagers and retirees consume at least 1000 hours per year in enjoying TV/Videos, approximately twice as many as that of people in working age. Teens and 20s groups expend 500 hours on social activities, while people from 30 on ward spend an average of 250 hours in socializing with 4 or less people compare to no greater than 50 hours in socializing with 4 or more people  
  
There is a declination in Group exercise/Sport when people get older, especially residents beyond 60 who no longer take part in any physical activities. Personal exercises fluctuate between 50 and 150 hours, exceptionally 200 in 30s and 40s group. Cinema is the most unpopular interest of Somelander with a maximum of 100, even only 25 for human from 40s to 50s  
  
*
Most of your errors in the presentation have to do with word usage and sentence structure. For example, in the first paragraph, your presentation is incomplete. You forgot to indicate that the measurement was based on hours spent. Then, you made a mistake in the second sentence:  
  
... make up almost all freetime of residents = make up most of the free time of residents.  
  
"Onward" is one word, not 2. "Compare" should be "compared" since this is presented in the past format. This is supposed to be an academic presentation to a professor so you really have to be careful with your word usage. You need to make sure that the essay sounds as natural as possible. "declination" is not an appropriate word to use in this presentation. Rather, the word "decline" sounds more natural and applicable to the discussion.
***Behaviours and lifestyle vary from country to country. Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local customs and behaviour.***  
## Do you agree or disagree?

  
  
There is no doubt that the people from each and every country have unique characteristics and way of living. But when they visit to other countries, some people believe that they should have to follow the local people's behaviour whereas I believe that it is not necessary.  
  
Firstly, visitors from other countries would get influenced by the local people's way of speech and behaviour. This is because, when both set of people get into interaction, out of interest, without knowingly the visitors start to learn things happening around. For example, when foreigners visiting India, they learnt and greet people by joining hands in front their chest instead of handshake. So the visitors have opportunity to broaden up their knowledge from these basic behaviours to the extent they can. In contrast to that, if they couldn't find anything fascinated then they hardly follow those stuffs.  
  
However, I believe that it is not essential for every visitor to learn new behaviour and lifestyle from other country. This is because, most commonly visitors stay for shorter period and they don't have to follow everything what local people do. On considering these elements, tourism industries progressively make arrangements for them to feel home away from home because these restrictions may decrease their growth. Conversely, if a visitor planned for long stay then they will learn to follow local customs and behaviours for survival without imposing it on to them.  
  
In conclusion, although visitors from other country get influenced by local people's behaviour and it can broaden their knowledge, it is not necessary for them to follow it.
In the first paragraph, you have run-on sentences and improper conjunction usage issues. You are using "but" to start a sentence, remember, the previous thought process ended with the period, so there is nothing to connect to the next sentence that started with "but". Your response to the question should not be bundled into the discussion of the 2 reasons form the original prompt. Your response must always be a stand alone sentence at the end of the paragraph. You may opt to add a reasoning topic introduction at that point. Do not present a discussion, just a topic presentation.  
  
Since you already said you disagree, your 2 reasoning paragraphs should focus only on the opposition to the given discussion. Do not use the comparative discussion for this essay. Rather, present 2 reasons that will help convince the reader that your opinion is the correct one. Remember, your score will be based only on the related discussion paragraphs. The examiner will remove the paragraph that does not relate to your opinion, which will bring your word count to under 250 words. Which means, percentage points will be deducted for an improperly formatted response. The deduction will be due to the paragraph that you included, which supported the opposing point of view.  
  
The conclusion is a single run-on when it should be just a reflection of the opening paraphrase, 3-5 sentences. That should represent the topic, your reasons, and a repetition of your opinion, in no particular order.
Hello, Please go through this IELTS task 1 report and give your valuable suggestions where does it needs correction (content/ grammar / vocabulary etc)  
  
## Academic IELTS task 1 report

  
  
The two diagrams given, show the whole process of cement making and concrete production. Overall the cement making process involves several steps (crushing, mixing heating and grinding) to make cement from limestone and clay. Whereas concrete making process just involves the mixing of various elements (cement, sand, gravel and water) in a proper portion to be mixed well to make concrete.  
  
In cement production, limestone and clay are crushed together initially through a machine called crusher. The powdered form of the elements are then mixed together well through mixer and is heated in a rotating heater at a fixed temperature. The heated powder is then finally grinded into a fine and smooth powder form. The prepared cement is then packed in bags.  
  
On the other hand, concrete making is a simple procedure of mixing 15% cement, 25% sand, 50% gravel (also called small stones) and 10% water. All the items are mixed well together, for an appropriate time, in a concrete mixer.  
  
*
You are analyzing two different images in relation to two different productions processes. So rather than saying "cement making and concrete production", refer instead to, "... show the comparative process of cement making concrete production." Good work in the overview statement. You show a wide range of GRA skills from beginning to end in that paragraph and throughout the essay.  
  
There are situations when you need to use an indefinite article in the presentations. For example, your reference to; "... machine called A crusher." This is a repeated error throughout your presentation. Kindly review the rules regarding when and how to use indefinite articles to prevent a repeat of this error in the future. Oh, one other thing, the word is "ground" not "grinded."That is an LR error. There is no such term.  
  
As for concrete making, you need another sentence, at least, to achieve the required 3-5 sentence presentation per paragraph. Avoid the use of long sentences. That could force GRA errors on your part.
***Question:Today's teenagers have more stressful lives than previous generation.***  
## Discuss the view and give opinion.

  
  
The Early generation of adolescents was living a less stressful life than the present ones. In my opinion, this is true because of some changes in education standards and children's parents behavior towards education.  
  
To begin with, in past two decades, the level of education has been increasing significantly. Owing to this, students spend most of their time in studying tough subjects such as science and mathematics rather than enjoying their childhood. Instead of doing some physical activities, they have adopted a sedentary lifestyle that is needed to study hard topics of education. The reason of this mindset is employment or a good earning job.  
  
Moreover, parents' demands and expectations play their own role in increasing the stress-level of teenagers. Although parents support their love ones in their every decision, they sometimes forced their children to study those subjects in which they are not interested. Furthermore, not only guardians but also the expectations of other members of the community leads adolescents to live a life of stress. This is because students are in the most sensitive and crucial stage of their lives where they always want the best for themselves. But the feeling of being unsuccessful and not fulfill others' demands make them worry about their future.  
  
However, in the past times, education and parents were not advanced and demanded, respectively. People mostly depend on labour for their livelihood. As a result, children also felt free from the burden of studies, as they wanted to follow their elder's path from work perspective. Take India as an example, in the past times about 58% of the Indian population depends on agriculture. Therefore, parents also wanted their children to grow up as a farmer. As this profession needs no requirement in studies, children lived a stress-free life.  
  
In conclusion, I believe that boosted education levels and parents considerably increased pressure on their children has risen the stress-level in youngsters' life. However, in the past, missing these factors was a reason for children's stress-free life.