dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
***It has been said, "Not everything that is learned is contained in books"  
Compare and contrast knowledge gained from experience with knowledge gained from books.  
In your opinion, which source is more important? Why?***  
  
An opinion explains that knowledge will be widely acquired not only from books, but also from other resources. Hence, there are several differences regarding knowledge gained from experience and from books. In my standpoint, I personally stand for an argument of which books generate development in large part of personal skills.  
  
Initially, books contain a large number of new areas in public interests which pervades all of criteria excluding people's specialisation. Society, therefore, would enhance their general knowledge and they are not limited into one specific skill to be seized on. Coinciding with a wide range of aptitudes, book readers' knowledge is encouraged in visual ability useful to forecast the possible circumstances in the long period of time since every reading activity creates imagination to picture the words to be real. As a result, attaining enlightenment from books is rather complete to face the brutish life.  
  
Compared to the acquired knowledge from books, experience teaches people in a long time that needs trial and error to achieve the proper knowledge. It consume ineffective period of time and it clearly requires a myriad of financial resources in the process of learning. Subsequently, people tend to be specialised in particular ability that narrow the other valuable self-improvements. This condition occurs due to the fact that experience is usually gained in the sequence of conditions and therefore knowledge from experience is lack of variations in other general abilities.  
  
To conclude, it is imperative for the vast majority of people to consider the merits of books and then they are able to utilise books as the most efficient means in order to possess a wealth of knowledge.
I think that you can score around a 5 with this essay in the band score for the actual test. While I can pick out what it is that you are trying to say, you do not really come across as clearly as one would expect. The reader has to be diligent in picking up keywords from your essay that will help them to properly understand the sentiment of the paragraph. This is a grammar and sentence structure issue that you will be able to address as you become more fluent in your use of the English language.  
  
Your opening statement could have been improved if you had properly represented the two opinions that you were required to discuss in the essay prior to your presenting your personal opinion. The same situation existed for your conclusion. Where you should have presented a clear summary of the two opinions prior to restating your opinion. It would have brought the conclusion closer to the required 3 sentence minimum as well.
Dear lanazaldo, here my advices for your writing, feel free to correct my responds,  
  
In my standpoint, I personally stand for an argument of which books generate ... -->  
  
*you should clearly state your reasons why you choose to defend the argument*  
  
books contain a large number of new areas in public interests which ... -->  
  
*you should state your idea + your question related*  
  
Society, therefore, would enhance their general knowledge and they are ... -->  
  
*before you write this sentence of reasoning why you choose your idea to clearly state the flow of your paragraph*  
  
All in all, your second paragraph was written well, although several grammatical mistakes not bothering too much. In addition, your introduction should be properly developed as it is the main point to attract readers to read your essay. Have time to think a good intro, so that you will develop powerful essay in return.  
  
Regards
For your Task Achievement, I believe you would get a 4 because you failed to indicate / restate the quote that was part of the prompt you are being asked to respond to. Keep in mind that in your first sentence, you already indicated that there was an opinion you wanted to discuss / refer to. A complete overview paragraph would have included the quote itself since that is the basis of the essay. You also failed to present a completely developed personal opinion within the essay paragraphs. So, you did not really cover all key features as required.  
  
For the coherence and cohesion part, I think a 6 is in order because there is an understandable progression of your discussion and it shows that you analyzed the best way to discuss the topic provided. However, you need to work on the cohesion of your sentences within the paragraphs. It seems to try to discuss too many subtopics within a topic based paragraph.  
  
When it comes to the lexical source, I feel that a 4 is in order. This is through no fault of yours. It is just that your limited vocabulary is evident in the essay as there is a lack of higher vocabulary representation in the essay. Don't worry though. That is not something that can be achieved overnight. You should work on widening your vocabulary over the coming days. Just make sure you are well read in the English language and you should be well on your way to doing that.  
  
Now, for grammatical range and accuracy, it's a definite 5. Luckily, the errors did not stress me out as a reader too much and I could easily figure out what the sentence structure you were using was actually trying to say.  
  
I hope my detailed ratings help you concentrate on your problem points.
There has been a widely held believe that content of school subjects these day had been served no practical purpose. Some suggested that such classes as Homemanagement, work, and skill about getting along with others would be more beneficial . In this essay, I personally contend that focusing on much more academic instead of practical direction is crucial. Two primary reasons are as follows.  
  
Firstly, it is absolutely vital for younger student being immersed in learning abstract concepts provided by theoretical lectures, which significantly assists their development of logical sense. Namely, knowing how things work and how to analyze reasonably. Furthermore, sense of logic get involved in nearly all field of knowledge.  
  
As for Science, logical process of Mathematics is fundamentally required. Critical Thinking and flawless deduction are in fact indispensable basis of Sociology and Philosophy. With the training in such orientation , the way for further higher education with regardless to any field will easily be paved.  
  
More importantly, though, those so-called "practical subjects" is not necessarily all have to be delivered by teachers. Instead, it could also be experienced and educated by their parents, for these type of lessons aim to dealing with the situations confronted daily. Admittedly certain training like interpersonel skills , however, is much more suitable conducted inside the classroom as it prefers interaction among a group of individuals, but it still can be easily accomplished by family members. With regard to the Homemanagement, quite few hand-on experiences are inevitable. Compared to the school, not only do they have higher chances of encountering the concrete problem at home, they also have enough time to practice without waiting in line.  
  
In conclusion, I firmly restate that we cannot overemphasized the positive effect of academic lessons too much. Even though it is not apparent at earlier stage. I believe the value will become obvious in the long run.  
  
*
Hi Leopar187...  
  
First, you have to make a space for each pargraph  
  
There has been a widely held believe*what do you mean by this sentense? I dont get your point* that content of school subjects ...  
... such classes as Home management , work, and skill about ...  
  
... for younger students being immersed in ...  
... type of lessons aim to deal~~ing~~ with the situations ...  
With regard to the Home management , quite few hand-on ...  
... not only ~~do~~ they have higher chances (...) at home,but also they ~~also~~ have enough time to ...
Presidents Obama in his public speech conveyed an endorsement for the winner of current president's election. However, his expression was assumed that he actually hoped to a win for Clinton. At early Wednesday morning, Obama invited Trump to be in White House to hand ober the presidency tenure. He also said to Trump that they are in one team now; there are no democrats, republic, and patriot anymore. At the same time, Obama also congratulated his state secretary for being a great president candidate. Another aspect that Obama acknowledged was the campaign process especially when Trump gave his speech in front of citizens which was heartened by unifying nature and county needs.
Sman, you misunderstood the reason for President Obama's invitation to Donald Trump to join him for breakfast at the White House. Yes, your information is lacking pertinent data so I decided to point that out to you. Now, to point out a mistake in your summary, he invited President - elect Trump to the White House, not to turn over the presidency, that doesn't happen until January 20, 2017, but rather, just to discuss publicly undisclosed information. Also, you need to capitalize the words "Democrat" and "Republican" because you are referring to the political parties in the American 2 party system. Those words are proper nouns and should be written following the rules for proper nouns.
TED SUMMARY: WHY I READ A BOOK A DAY? (AND WHY YOU SHOULD TOO) BY TAI LOPEZ  
  
Tai Lopez as an entrepreneur and investor said that everyone wants to have a good life, yet not everybody gets it. Why? This is because they do not have right roles. Love, wealth, health, and happiness are a couple of people's goals in their own lives. To achieve those goals, people have to design their own pathway. Mentors or role models are a vital aspect to reach a good life as people have an ability to copy and download their experiences which lead them to succeed in their life. Next, humility and perseverance. Being humble and persevering person are pivotal factors to achieve what he or she wants. The last is reading more books because it will make you to be a tough person. Follow those roles to get your good life.
one of the aims of human beings is good life like happiness, full of money, and having a good relationship. a good life is tremendously crucial to be found by all of the people in the world. Lopez as speaker in TED explains how to reach a good life. He gave three steps how to get a good life. Firstly, finding a mentor. a mentor is a shortcut to broaden our knowledge. Mostly all people who are popular in the world have a mentor like Alexander the great, Bill gates, and Jackie chan. People have to find a great mentor who has 10 times ability than they are. The teacher will guide and give a shortcut to achieve the purpose. Secondly, humble and grateful have to be implemented in ourselves. Commonly, all of the people forget related to humble and grateful after reaching the purpose. It will ruin the achievement. Thirdly, reading books help to extend knowledge without wasting much money. Reading books are shortcut to broaden our knowledge in business major and social life. Everyone wants to get a good life, yet they do not want to follow the rule. Loving your life, doing all the best what you do, and beautifying your life are a motto that is given by Lopez.
Hai @hitam\_manis, I got some advice for your writing:  
  
1. ~~o~~ (O)ne of the aims of human beings is (A) good life like ...  
  
2. ... explains how to reach ~~a good life~~ (IT).  
  
3. Secondly, (BEING) humble and grateful have...  
... people forget ~~related to~~ (TO BE) humble and ...  
  
4. ... want to follow the rule(S).
Rahasia, it is really important that you provide us with the link to the article, video, or audio file that you are summarizing. We can only help you with regards to your summary if we are able to read, view, or hear the original source . That way, we can learn about what your shortcomings in the summary are and point it out to you for your reference.  
  
Please remember to offer the original title of the article/video/audio file along with the full name of the speaker at the start of the summary. That information is necessary because it will help you avoid accusations of plagiarism and also, allow you to inform the reader that you will be serving up second hand information since it is a summary essay. It would seem though, that your summary is more informative than the other versions that have been uploaded for review on this forum. The quality of the information shared though, is questionable because of the lack of access to the original material.
On TED talks, Tai Lopez, an entrepreneur and investor, have found rules that will design your life by reading a book to find mentors. It has called mentor rules which have the law of 33%. He has spent 33% of his life for people lower than him, 33% for his colleague and peers, and the rest is for people that 10 times more successful than him. For instance, if we want to build $1 million company, we should find people that have $10 million company. He also suggested to stay humble and while look for mentors we should persevere not only see on their success at the end but also their perseverance. At last, read books over and over and let it become your friend.
hai oretes  
it is a good summary  
let me give you some advice  
hope it helps  
  
On the TED talks, Tai Lopez...  
  
It ~~has~~ called mentor (...) the law ~~of~~at 33%.  
  
... life for people lower economic than him, 33% ~~for~~of his colleague and peers...  
  
... stay humble and ~~while~~ looking for mentors we should ...  
At last, more read books over and over again, then~~and~~ let it become your friend.  
  
thanks
Orestes, the next time you post your summary, please include a link to the original article or video so that we can watch it before we review our summary. Otherwise, it is really difficult to follow the flow of thought that the original speaker or writer presented. That means we cannot accurately gauge the information that you are presenting to us as well.  
  
From what I can tell though, you should have developed the explanation about what the Law of 33 % means to Tai Lopez. What was the formula for him to say that 33 % is the secret to a successful life? What kind of books does Tai suggest one read? How are these books supposed to be helpful to the person?  
  
It seems to me that you rushed the writing of this essay and you did not consider all of the information provided when you prepared your summary. Please take better care of your information presentation with your next essay. That spells a difference in judging your English analytical and comprehension skills.
It is generally known that plastic is a crucial problem in the ocean as it can be harmful for hundreds of marine species such as seabirds, fish, whales and others. This happens since those sea creatures smell plastic like food. In fact, the amount of trash made of plastic in the ocean is around a quarter of a billion metric tons which form in tiny or rice-sized particles in 2004. This attracts over 200 marine animals feed them. Turtles often eating plastic due to its similar appearance to jellyfish is a current phenomenon to illustrate this. How can it occur? As the primary diet for many seabirds, krill consumes algae as their food. Then, algae break down in the ocean and emit dimethyl sulfide (DMS) which has sulfur odor to lead seabirds finding their feeds in the ground. Unfortunately, they consider plastic as krill to be their food. Matthew Savoca, a doctoral student at the University of California, said that DMS looks a dinner bell. It will give a signal for seabirds to find krill with their foraging mode.  
  
Source: news.nationalgeographic.com/2016/11/animals-eat-ocean-plastic-because-of-smell-dms-algae-seabirds-fish/
hai abul  
it is a good summary  
let me give you some advice  
hope it helps  
  
... as it can be harmful **for** (preposition of harmful is 'to') hundreds of marine ...  
  
... those sea creatures smell the plastic like food.  
  
... tons which form in tiny ~~or rice-sized~~ particles in 2004.  
  
... marine animals feed ~~them~~that .  
  
... plastic due to ~~its~~**it is** similar appearance to ...  
  
... sulfide (DMS) which has the sulfur odor ...  
  
..., said that DMS looks like a dinner bell.  
... their foraging ~~mode.~~for food.  
  
thanks
Abul, first up, you need to remember that when you write a summary essay, you must always include the name of the original author, mode of first publication, and the publishing source. Those are the first steps towards delivering the all too important information that will tell the reader that you are publishing an authoritative paper and not just a run of the mill essay.  
  
Second, your summary information lacks a number of important information. For starters, you did not identify Krill as the main food source for the animals at the start of the essay. You should have explained the significance of Krill at the start of the essay because that is the basis of the full information in the article. Third, your list of animals that eat Krill should have indicated the complete listing as presented in the essay because the essay clearly indicates that these are the species that are in danger of dying because of consuming the toxins being produced by plastic in their feeding ground.  
  
Finally, the length of the original article tells me that you omitted a number of pertinent information. A summary essay cannot take shortcuts in presenting the important information, make sure that you cover all of the important data in your summary because that is how an authoritative summary is developed and presented.
Tai lopez said that Mentors have the power to be the role model. In Hollywood, everybody wants something but not everybody gets what they want. He tried to find somebody who is going to show him how to make money. That was what his uncle suggested. Finally, he found his business mentor, mike steinback. He, mike steinback, was amazed when he knew that tai will learn more about what he knew without any compensation. Tai continues his journey in travelling, finding the mentors and reading which are his keys of success. About reading, he read a book per day. He found in his research of his path that mentor is the biggest predictor of the success in life.
Hii @Kimichi89  
  
Here are my suggestions  
  
Tai ~~lopez~~ Lopez said that Mentors ...  
That was what his uncle suggested(I didn't get your idea here, it seems like an incomplete sentence) .  
Finally, he found his business mentor, ~~mike steinback~~ Mike Steinback. He, ~~mike steinback~~ Mike Steinback, was amazed when he knew that ~~tai~~ Tai will learn ...  
  
... reading which are his keys ~~of~~ to success.
Dear Abdul Hakim, here some advice for your writing and feel free to correct me too!  
  
In Hollywood **place**, everybody wants **to be** something but not ~~everybody~~**all of them** gets what **did** they want.  
  
He ~~tried~~**tries** to find ~~somebody~~**someone** who ~~is~~**was** going to show him how to ~~make~~**get much** money.  
  
~~That was what his uncle suggested.~~**It was suggested by his uncle to do this plan.**  
  
He~~, mike steinback,~~ was amazed when he ~~knew~~**known** that tai ~~will learn~~**learnt** more ~~about what he knew~~ without any compensation.  
  
Regards
There is some information about expenditure of European People in five countries in 2002 revealed by table. It divided into three kinds of necessities and measured with percentage. In general, compared with others, Food/drink/tobacco were the largest quantities in all nations. In addition, the highest value is Turkey in consuming Meal/Beverage/Smoke, while the lowest is Spain that spending very few of their money in Pastime/Education.  
  
In the top of all, Turkey had 32.14 that two times larger than Sweden in spent their salary for Food/Drink/Cigarette. Turkey has the a slight different with Ireland in second position at 28.91. The third, fourth, and five also have small difference, 18.80, 16.36, 15.77 respectively.  
  
Move to the other needs, Clothing/Footwear placed the second position in all countries. Italy became the biggest percentage at 9%, while the other only had very little dissimilar, each of them no more than two percent. Sweden placed the smallest consumption in this field.  
  
The last is Fun Activity/School which were all of them no more than 5 percent. While turkey set again in the first position at 4.35 percent Spain, was the lowest at 1.98 percent.  
  
*
Hai @Faizzuna17, I got some advice for your writing:  
  
1. There ~~is~~ (WAS) some information about expenditure of European People in five countries in 2002 revealed by table.  
  
2. It (WAS) divided into three kinds of necessities and measured with percentage  
  
3. In addition, the highest value ~~is~~ (WAS) Turkey in consuming Meal/Beverage/Smoke, while ~~the lowest is Spain that spending very few of their money in Pastime/Education.~~ (THE REVERSE APPEARED TO BE TRUE IN PASTIME/EDUCATION'S EXPENDITURE OF SPAIN)  
  
4. The third, fourth, and five also ~~have~~ (HAD) small difference, 18.80, 16.36, 15.77 respectively.  
  
**\*pay attention on your tenses.**
***'Telecommuting' refers to workers doing their job from home for part of each week and communicating with their office using computer technology.  
Telecommuting is growing in many countries and is expected to be common for most office workers in the coming decades.  
How do you think society will be affected by the growth of telecommuting?***  
  
The massive popularity of telecommuting which provides simplicity for employees to carry out their works at home and to communicate the office thingy from computer is forecast to increase in the future. This circumstance is likely to change the technological and social lifestyle towards public in general.  
  
To begin with, the uplifting interest of telecommuting emerges several alterations in people's daily life. Every single activity is presumably near by the development of sophisticated technology in order to undertake the job. Workers, moreover, will have a wide range of choices to opt the most suitable and convenient place to finish the tasks since they do it at their home. As a result, a vast majority of people will switch some ways of living with the new trends.  
  
The predominant effects from telecommuting and changing daily life could be vary including merits and demerits. Due to the familiarising of technology, the detrimental impact comes since people could utilise computerisation into crime such as hacking and cyber-crime. However, there is still an upside in which the result in workloads in going to be better due to the fact that convenience of working places is controlled by employers' autonomous decision. Therefore, mood and spirit of carrying out tasks are always elevated into the maximum point that encourages effectiveness.  
  
In conclusion, while that way of working is changing, other aspects of lives will be affected as well. New working methods of telecommunicating, therefore, generate several beneficial and detrimental effects for a myriad of society.
**TED 13 Why I read a book a day**  
  
Everyone wants a good life, but they don't know hot to get it or just do as they want. There are 5 rules that they have to follow or we called it 'design of life'. 5 rules are finding the mentor, humble, preserve, reading a book, and thinking top enough. First to find the mentor, we have to look outside and learn the knowledge from everywhere. We can see and take their strategy/knowledge to be a success person. Everyone can be your mentor, like teacher, parents, or friend. The second is being humble person. Don't be cocky and make a good relation with others. The third rule, preserver. Fourth is reading a book. Getting new knowledge from book is good choice. One book a week. The last is thinking top enough. If we do the rules, it can be easier to get a good life.