dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
**Kelly McGonigal: How to make stress your friend**  
  
Kelly McGonigal is a health psychologist, who designed a mission to make people become healthier and happier in their lives, however she was fret if what she was trying to do gave worse sides rather than the good effects. At the first time, she has tried to make stress became enemy but lately she has changed her mind because of a study discovered 30000 adults in US and asked them some questions like, how much stress do you experience in last year and do you believe that stress is harmful for your health. The study shown that believing that stress is harmful to the body is more danger rather than you know that you are in stress. When you change your mind about stress you can change your body response towards it, based on a test has been conducted in Harvard University. She wanted to make us better at stress, because when you tell your body that you have a right to control your self and tell to your body that this is your body, in a second the body believes you and your body will be more relax, then the responses that come up will be different. All this stress is connecting to a hormone called Oxytocine. This hormone is not only act in your brain but also in your body and to other organ such as heart regenerating.
Hi Rosa, right of the bat, the title of the essay is quite confusing;  
  
Kelly McGonigal: How to ~~make~~treat stress ~~your~~as a friend  
  
- ~~become~~ healthier and happier in their lives,  
- however she ~~was~~ fret,  
- ~~if~~she thought if it~~what she~~ was trying  
- to ~~do gave~~make things worse  
- ~~sides~~ rather than ~~the~~ good ~~effects~~ .  
- At the first time, she has tried to ~~make~~treat stress - ~~became~~as an enemy but  
- mind ~~because~~with the help of a study  
- which discovered 30000 adults in the  
- experience in the last year and  
- The study ~~shown~~showed that believing  
- more of a danger rather than  
- ~~you know that you are in~~the stress itself .  
- your bodys response towards it,  
  
There you have it Rosa, as you can see there are still a lot of work to be done in your essay and I hope the above corrections are helpful to your revision.  
  
A little more work on your sentence construction and linking verbs.
Cold sore is common disease of human nowadays which caused by herpes virus type-1. Data from WHO shows that 67% adults have herpes simplex type 1. Its seems common and not really dangerous threat for adult but it is a disaster for baby. Body system of babies have not ready enough to battle with this virus. Once they get this virus from interaction especially kissing, the baby will gets the risk to get brain and liver damage. However, we need to keep newborn baby stay away from kissing of people even they look like okay and do not suffering from this illness.  
  
Source: cosmopolitan
Fauzan, it looks like the summary is informative but in need of grammar correction in order to make it sound more professional. Let's see if I can help you clean this up.  
  
Cold sore is common HUMAN disease ~~of human nowadays which~~ caused by THE herpes virus type-1. Data from THE WORLD HEALTH ORGANIZATION (WHO)  
- Always tell the reader the full name of the organization, then place the acronym, and from that point, you can start using just the acronym alone. This is to ensure that the reader knows what the acronym stands for and how it is connected to the article.  
  
... adults have HAD herpes simplex type 1... and not A really dangerous threat for adultS but ~~it~~ is a disaster for ~~baby~~ BABIES.  
- Be consistent in using either singular or plural form. You can't use both in a sentence.  
  
THE ~~Body~~ system of babies ~~have~~ ARE not ~~ready enough~~ PREPARED to battle ~~with this~~ THE virus.  
~~Once they get~~ BABIES CAN GET this virus from interaction ~~especially~~ SUCH AS kissing . ~~,~~ THE NEGATIVE HEALTH EFFECTS ON BABIES ARE THE ~~the baby will gets the~~ risk ~~to get~~ OF brain and liver damage. ~~However,~~ THAT IS WHY we need to keep newborn ~~baby~~ BABIES ~~stay~~ away from THE KISSES ~~kissing~~ of people even IF they... and ARE ~~do~~ not suffering from this illness.
The Tabel Give Information about percentation of population using car in city by the time. on the strength of table people Using car devided into five part.and the pie chart present type car using citizen to use most of the time.Overall people on the city tend to use private vehicles but there is also using public transportation.  
  
Begin on the pie chart first, most citizen prefer to use of private vehicle in this city. Commute to work 45 % prefer use own car. Public transport second popular for some people.while buses and taxis are the main mean for a part of people.  
  
Representation from the table give detailed information concerning citizen used public transport to work as much as 55 %. Other use for Taking children to school and to Business as much 40 % and 45 %. Only 15 % transportation used for shooping and furthermore for leisure activitis.
Hi Muhammad, before I go and review you essay, I have a question, if you were to choose, would you rather walk or use a car to go somewhere? I ask because, if I were to choose, I prefer to go for a walk to get to places, of course this will all depend on the distance of my destination, I prefer to walk to the places that can be reached easily. Cars for me, should only be used when the distance cannot be reached by walking.  
  
Anyhow, going back to your essay, below are my thoughts on your analysis essay and for future reference, please attach the table or graph in your post;  
  
- The ~~Tabel Give I~~table gives i nformation  
- ~~about percentation of~~on the population of people using  
- cars in the city ~~by the time~~and is measured in percentage .  
- ~~on the~~The strength of ~~table~~the people  
- u sing cars are devided into five parts and the pie chart  
- present the type of cars~~using~~used by citizens~~to use~~ most of the time.  
  
There you have it Muhammad, as you can see there are a lot of work to be done in your analysis essay andI hope you follow through with the corrections made.
HELP EDIT OR PROOFREAD MY BODY PARAGRAPH OF COLLEGE ESSAY  
  
My topic is on caring for people.  
  
From my experiences, it gave me a mindset of what I can do to use my strengths and weaknesses to spread positivity and that this is what I want to pursue in my future. I want to go into the medical field and help assist, comfort, and treat patients like the janitor in my school. I want to be able to walk into a clinic, hospital, or a pharmacy and bring happiness into them. Helping them in a way where they can trust me and realize that I am there for them can really spread happiness. Not only learning about my identity and my knowledge by my experiences and trying to be that "hero", I know that having the traits that I have can impact the society little at a time. Just as Mr. Freeman Hrabowski, he is a caring person and his commitment level on fighting for his rights interest me tremendously. My commitment to using my strengths and my great traits everyday to spread positivity to others will continue in my life. Having the enjoyment of assisting someone in need is a passion I'd love to pursue.
Hi, your paragraph is a little confusing without reading the first part of your essay. You seem to have a lot of repetition in "positivity" and your reasons seem a little vague. I mean there are many ways to bring positivity into the world, why specifically the medical field? Here are some specific suggestions:  
  
[My experiences] gave me a mindset of [how I can] use my strengths and weaknesses to spread positivity and that ... {this seems pretty broad}  
  
... like the janitor in my school. {I assume you mentioned the janitor in your intro? Otherwise it sounds a bit odd}  
  
... or a pharmacy and bring happiness [with me]. Helping [those suffering] {or another description - it was unclear who "them" is} in a way  
  
... spread happiness. [Besides] learning about my identity ... little at a time. {this sentence is still a little unclear to me} Just as Mr. Freeman Hrabowski, [whose character as] a caring person and his commitment level [in] fighting for his rights interest me tremendously. {this is a little unclear too}  
  
... great traits everyday {two words here - every day} to spread positivity ...
Hi Annie, WELCOME to the Essay Forum Family, we hope to assist you in your writing by providing you with the most credible and accurate feedback that will help you enhance your essay and hopefully develop a few writing techniques that you will be able to carry on your next writing projects.  
  
Having said that, please find a few suggestions below;  
  
- From ~~my~~these experiences,  
- do to ~~use~~showcase my strengths  
- and weaknesses, ( don't forget your punctuation marks )  
- to spread positivity and ~~that~~ this is what  
- I want to pursue in ~~my~~the future.  
- and bring happiness ~~in~~ to them.  
- them, will definitely~~can really~~ spread happiness. - Not only learning about my identity and my knowledge by my experiences and trying to be that "hero",- I believe this particular sentence is uncalled for, so we can go ahead and delete it  
  
- I know ~~that having the traits that~~ I will have ~~can~~ impact to the society, a little step at a time.  
- to ~~using~~sharing my strengths  
- to others will continue ~~in my life~~for so long as I can .  
- in need is a passion ~~I'd love to~~I will definitely pursue.  
  
There you have it Annie, I hope the above remarks are helpful to your revision.Do let us know should you need additional assistance.
The Kurdish army stayed alongside Tigris River Valley. They had been surveyed and mapped each inch everything which was Islamic Stated people belong. They had been beating of ISIS to from Fallujah in the mountain and now they forward to Mosul. While U.S. Soldiers were stick together and addition militias from Iraqi, Turkey, Iran and others. Now, situation in Mosul was not conducive. The United Nations was expected more over a million people will be moved to safe place. ISIS rebellions were using a trap in buildings. Some people were facing ISIS terror if they captivated they would be prisoned, beaten until beheaded. On the other hand, ISIS still controlled of Fazilia and sat up heavy gunfire and also sniper and suicide bomber.  
  
Source: news.nationalgeographic..../2016/10/islamic-state-isis-iraq-mosul-syria-offensive/
Cassini Spacecraft had landed and reported that there was a strange warm and geologically active region at the southern tip of Enceladus, the small moon of Saturn. In 2005, there was a south polar region with the tiger-stripe fractures image captured by Cassini. Three years later, the spot had half in darkness was caused by southern hemisphere. Interestingly, the discovery of towering jet found that there was an ice crystal eruption with water vapor from those fractures at the south pole. However, this phenomenon give presumption to space scientist today that there is a possible environment in Enceladus can support prebiotic chemistry and form a sustain life later. Scientists are very excited to wait for 2 years later to see the development of Enceladus south pole whether the site can change become an environment or a zone that suitable to living organisms.  
  
Carolyn Porco  
Source: TED
Hi Fauzan, here's another one from my end;  
  
- Cassini Spacecraft ~~had~~ landed and reported  
- active region ~~at~~in the S outhern  
- tip of Enceladus, ~~the~~a small moon of Saturn.  
- In 2005, ~~there was a~~in the south polar region  
- ~~with the~~there was a tiger-stripe  
- ~~fractures~~fractured image captured by Cassini.  
- the spot had half ~~in~~of darkness ~~was~~ caused  
- the discovery of the towering jet, ( don't forget your punctuation marks ) found that  
- fractures ~~at~~in the south pole.  
- However, this phenomenon ~~give~~gave a presumption  
- Enceladus that can support prebiotic chemistry  
- and form a sustainable life later.  
- Scientists are very excited ~~to wait for~~and are waiting for 2 years,~~later~~ to see the development  
- change and become an environment or a zone  
- that can be suitable to living organisms.  
  
There you have it Fauzan, well, this is a very interesting summary essay and a very promising findings from our scientist friends.
After king of Thai's, Bhumibol Adulyadej is passed. Many people doubted succession not to be soft in this monarchy country. Commonly, milestone in Thailand's politic involved by army power. This situation able to under control in Bhumibol regime which was Thai's army loyal to the king but after his gone the day uncertainty in Thailand. This country had riot in 2014 where the action class violent middle class people against the rural people then this brought the army taken advantage from it. Nowadays, many public goods are closed and some multinational and international organizations have been announcing to their labor to spend their time to work at home for couple weeks. Thai's official confirmed that prince, Maha Vajiralongkorn will be continuing his father throne. For this situation, some analysts argued it may be caused friction because the prince unpopular among Thai's.  
  
source: economist
Hi Patta, just to share with you, the past week has been a devastating one for the people of Thailand and for the rest of those who call it home, I have been to Thailand for a couple of times and I bet you, it is one the best places you want to spend your vacation to, you have beautiful places to visit, people are absolutely exceptional and the food is just the best mix of your favorites and must try dishes that will melt your heart and definitely fill your tummy. The King's passing is one that will be in Thailand's history and it is for all of us as well.  
  
Moving on, please find a few enhancements to your essay below;  
- After ~~king of Thai's,~~the passing of Thailand's King Bhumibol Adulyadej ~~is passed. Many~~, may people doubted  
- the succession to go, not ~~to be~~so soft in this monarchy country.  
- Commonly,the milestone ~~in~~of Thailand's politics involved ~~by~~an army power.  
- This situation ~~able to~~is under control in King Bhumibol  
- regime which ~~was Thai's army~~is loyal to the king  
- but after his ~~gone~~passing, there is an~~the day~~  
- This country had a riot in 2014 where  
- the action ~~class~~clashed violently between the middle  
  
- Thai's officials confirmed that ~~prince,~~Prince Maha Vajiralongkorn  
- ~~For this situation~~In this succession ,  
- some analysts argued it may ~~be~~ cause~~d~~ friction  
- because the ~~prince~~Prince is unpopular among Thai's.  
  
There you have it Patta, one thing that is very important when you are writing current events and writing in general is, when your subject is very powerful, politics, actors and actresses, powerful business people, you have to make sure that you give that much deserved respect to there names by writing them with a capitalized first letter.
Hurricane nicole make the effect for the british teritory of bermuda over the night and potential to damage small island in the northern atlantic ocean.  
  
Bermuda and authorities on Wednesday affected from the hurricane in the next day. Rain all day in school and government offices are warn for people to stay inside. The solid infrastructure that accustomed about the storms make many people be safety since the rain and wind come over quickly.  
  
In other place among historical buildings in mangrove bay called a popular spot for water sport that many tourist come to booked at Wednesday night. They using a largely boarded as their transport. Hotels, meanwhile, reported bookings are full of people that effect makes them no choice to stay.  
  
In the next day, The hurricane was attacked the surfers in south island of Bermuda including Puerto Rico, where government said they were find the body of a surfer who pass away on Tuesday. He was identified as 37-year-old Gabriel Pantoja.
hi dika ^,^  
i would like to give you some notes for your summary  
  
>> Subject + verb agreement \*Remember ( plural noun + verb 1) and (singular noun + verb+s) (to infinitive + verb1)  
>>note your missing verb and double verbs  
>>mark your spelling well (write down such as country, nationality, place and people name with capital letter)  
  
Hurricane nicole makes the effect for the ~~b~~ British ~~teritory~~territory of bermuda ....in the northern ~~a~~ Atlantic ocean.  
  
Raining all the days ~~in~~ at school and government offices ~~are~~ warn for people to stay inside.  
  
In the other place among historical buildings in mangrove bay is called a popular spot that many tourist~~s~~ come to book~~ed~~ at Wednesday night. They us~~ing~~ a largely boarded  
  
keep writing broo ^,^
Hai Andika! This is Septia who will give you some opinions about your article summarize.  
  
Hurricane nicole ~~make~~*(made, because it happened in the past)* the effect for **the***british teritory of bermuda* (should be in the capital form) over the night and ***(the)****(it is parallel structure sentence, you should write 'the' before and after 'and')* potential ~~to~~*(of the)* damage *(in the)* small island in the *northern atlantic ocean* (should be in the capital form).  
  
Bermuda, ~~and authorities~~ on Wednesday, affected ~~from the~~*(a)* hurricane in the next day. *(While there was)* Rain*(ing)* all day in *(the)* school ~~and~~*made**(the)* government ~~offices~~~~are~~ warn*(ed)*~~for~~*(all)* people to stay inside *(the room)*. The solid infrastructure that *(had been)**(because it built in the past and still used untill now)*accustomed ~~about~~*(for)* the storms, *(had)* make many people ~~be safety~~*(felt safely)* since the rain ...  
  
..., in mangrove bay called *(as)* a popular spot (...) that many tourist ~~come~~*(came)* to book~~ed~~ at Wednesday night. They *(were)* using a largely boarded as their transport. Hotels, meanwhile, reported *as full* book~~ings~~*(ed)*~~are~~*when* full of people that ...  
  
..., The hurricane ~~was~~ attacked the surfers (...) government said they ~~were~~ (have been) find*(ing)* the body of a surfer who ...  
  
Goodluck Andika! :)
Hi Andika, here's my take on your essay;  
  
- Hurricane N icole ~~make~~made an~~the~~  
- effect ~~for~~to the B ritish teritory  
- of B ermuda over ~~the~~ night  
- and ~~potential to~~ damaged a small island  
  
-On a Wednesday, Bermuda ~~and~~ authorities  
- ~~on Wednesday~~reported that they have beed affected - ~~from~~by the hurricane ~~in the next day~~ .  
- ~~Rain~~It rained all day in school and  
- government offices,~~are warn for~~  
- people re warned to stay inside.  
- The solid infrastructure that are accustomed  
- ~~about the~~to storms ~~make many~~made people ~~be safety since the rain and wind come over quickly~~safe .  
  
There you have it Andika, as you can see, there is quiet a lot of corrections to be done in your essay and I hope you follow through with the suggested enhancements, I left the last paragraph so you will be able to practice editing the essay yourself, this will be a good practice that you can also do to other articles here on EF, believe me, it will help you develop your writing skills.
**Overweight mothers give birth to biologically older babies**  
  
Woman who are obeses while pregnant having impact which related to the their babies healty. There is big corelation between overweight pregnant women and their kids. The effect is their babies ageing 10 years older than normal babies. In addition, the babies sceptible get more deseas from their mother, such as diabetes and atherosclerosis.  
  
According to the research, there is corelation between people biologicals and telomeres lingking to the DNA. On the other hand, team of research invent fascinating finding that the babies from overweight women expected 10 years older than the babies from healthy women, it causes that the fat in our body can prompt the inflammation, and give reactive chemicals can threatening cells and shorten telomeres.  
  
Source: newscientist.com/article/2109327-overweight-mothers-give-birth-to-biologically-older-babies/
This summary is full of problems. Part of the problem with your work is that you use the wrong terms and descriptions within the essay. I can see that you understand the meaning of the word you want to use. Now, all you have to do is connect the right term with the right meaning. Let me show you those problems:  
  
~~Woman~~ WOMEN (PLURAL FORM)who are obese~~s~~ (THE SINGULAR AND PLURAL FORM ARE THE SAME FOR THIS WORD)  
while pregnant ~~having impact which related to the their babies healty~~ IMPACT THEIR UNBORN CHILD'S HEALTH.  
There is ~~big~~ A ~~corelation~~ CO-RELATION between overweight  
... is their babies age~~ing~~ 10 years ~~older~~ FASTER than ...  
babies ~~sceptible get more deseas~~ ARE MORE SUSCEPTIBLE TO GENETIC ILLNESSES from their mother,...  
  
... is A ~~corelation~~ CO-RELATION between ~~people biologicals~~ HUMAN ~~BIOLOGICAL and telomeres lingking to the DNA.~~ BIOLOGICAL MAKEUP, TELOMERES, AND THEIR DNA.  
... team of researchS DISCOVERED FASCINATING INFORMATION ~~invent fascinating finding~~ that ...  
women ~~expected 10 years older~~ HAD BABIES THAT AGED 10 YEARS FASTER than the babies ...  
~~it causes that the fat in our body can prompt the inflammation, and give reactive chemicals can threatening cells and shorten telomeres.~~  
BODY FAT CAN CAUSE INFLAMMATION AND CAUSE AN INTERNAL CHEMICAL REACTION THAT THREATENS CELLS AND SHORTENS TELOMERES.  
  
Now, you also have a problem with the way you state the facts in your summary. The original article contains data that is not included, but is very important in this summary. When summarizing factual or data evident work, you must always include the numbers / percentages when you write your summary. These digits help to create a more informative summary and also gives it a more authoritative stance. Since your current work lacks those information, then the work cannot be considered to be an actual informative summary.