dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
A teacher of the English language should have proficient English vocabulary. Lecturers are supposed to have enough English know-hour to know when a word does not lend itself to the vocabulary in question. The word "self-acceptant" is constantly used in this presentation. A word that is not part of the word variation for " self-acceptance". One can be "self- accepting" but never "self- acceptant ". This Inrov shows that the ESL teacher could endup being an improper educator if allowed to become a U.S. school teacher due to lack of language proficiency.  
  
There is also the issue of improper punctuation usage in the writing. When refining to ownership, the apostrophe comes before the s not after. So the word is "student's" , referring to the possessive reference to the students strengths and weaknesses. An apostrophe is more commonly used after an S to show the plural form of a word. In this case, the reference should be possessive.  
  
In the conclusion, the reference to the discussion is done in a general reference style. The writer should use first person references since it is the writers point of view being addressed.  
  
Given the writing errors, the discussion is still proper throughout the presentation and shows an ability to clearly and strongly discuss the topic. I just cannot say if the examiner can overlook the errors to give out a passing score.
## **Studies suggest that many teenagers these days prefer socialising online to meeting one another in person.**

  
  
*Why do you think this is the case?  
  
What measures could be taken to encourage teenagers to spend more time meeting one another in person?  
  
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.*  
  
There is an abundance of factors that explain why adolescents tend to gravitate towards in having a conversation remotely by using technological devices as a method. However, these issues can be adopted by the host of solutions and this now will be discussed.  
  
Perhaps they do not feel enthusiastic when having direct communication with other people as their embarrassment prevented them from communicating with strangers comfortably. Taking Vietnamese students when they have to communicate with foreigners as an example. For the most part of Vietnamese students, as their lack of fluency and the language barriers, they usually feel embarrassed, do not be themselves if they have to talk to foreigners.  
  
Another reason stems from the development of technology. Since the internet and social media have been invented in the last few decades, it has dramatically affect on the "Gen Z" lifestyle. For instance, since the Covid-19 pandemic has emerged, minors have to organising a meeting with their friends remotely as the restriction from the authorities. As of that restriction, a variety of online meetings have been organized by the teenagers using the internet, social media and other technological development to cope with that problems.  
  
However, a range of available options could be used to deal with that problematic situation. The simplest one is to encourage teenagers to attend extracurricular activities to have more opportunities to communicate with other people. On top of that, reduce the frequency of using the internet and social media can be a reasonable solution to create inspiration in communicating with strangers.  
  
In conclusion, various solutions need to be taken immediately to gain back teenagers' interest in having more meeting with other people[G][G][G][/G][/G][/G]
The first paragraph is confusing. It does not make a logical representation of the base presentation. It appears to be saying something, without any actual references. I am convinced that you tried to do a transliteration of your thoughts to English' When written in your native tongue, I am sure this makes sense. However, a word by word translation to English equivalents does not due to English word meaning. This will definitely receive a failing TA and C + C score.  
  
Your reasoning paragraphs are confusing as well but become clearer to the reader upon several readings. other problem is now in your solutions paragraph. It is not possible to do your solution due to Covid 19 restrictions. Had you not used covid 19 in the reasoning paragraph, then the solution would have been possible to implement.  
  
Work on your summary conclusions. The current presentation fails to properly recap the previous topic and talking points.
## many teenagers prefer socialising online than meeting offline one another

  
  
It is often said that the large number of people are drawing attention to communicating online. In fact, there are some who hold firmly to their belief that meeting one another face-to-face is better. As far as I am concerned, this is a higly problematic issue, and it relates to the major problems and potential solutions to deal with. Therefore, some main points will be addressed in the following paragraphs.  
  
To begin with, there are two primary issues caused by the pandemic.First of all, it is a well-documanted fact that most of residence have to stayed at home to prevent the community transmission by the warning of the government. The most obvious example to prove is that every activities from doing exercise to learning or working have to be done at home. Can not be denied that studying online or working online is the most vital method in the case of Covid-19's development. Furthermore, there is no doubt that some people do not have a good communication skill, particularly the introvert. For instance, it is proved that they become more openly and not feel insecure to communicate with people through a screen rather than in-person conversation.  
  
In order to cope with the above issue, there are a number of solutions that could be taken into consideration. First and foremost, it is commonly accepted that it is clearlier to transmit each other thoughts. Our emotion and behaviour are shifted based on the face emotion, body language, gesture, eye contact and also the voice tone of the partner. Thanks to the amount of factors above, human being can easily communicate and transmit their thoughts and feelings in the most honest way.Furthermore, there is no denying that face-to-face communication build a stronger and trustworthy relationship. It is my interesting experiment that when I joined in a non-profit organisation,I did not know anyone in that club so I decided to make friend online before we had the first meeting. The chating was good since we met other in person, the unknow barrier prevent us to be opened and it was so akwarded. But I made friends and had some humorous gossip with another members simuteniouly.  
  
To conclude, it is my strong belief that socialising online is just a temporary solution and just function for a long-distance interaction.Accordingly, I highly recommend that youngster should virtually have the in-person talk to improve their communication skill which is a actually significant element nowadays.
Your prompt restatement is flawed. You opted to merely restate the discussion topics rather than completing your discussion outline through diect question responses. Your restatement should contain a preliminary summary of the body paragraphs via direct responses. Why is this the case? Suggest a possible solution. complete the essence of your point of view.  
  
Good job on relating the reasons response to the pandemic. It shows you are up to date on current events and its relationship with the people's lives. Excellent point for discussion. Problems in that paragraph relate to word usage. "Can Not" is confusing because it means" an ability to not be able to do something" . 2 seperate words connote the confused meaning. "Cannot" however, one word , means an inability to do something. For this paragraph, the second reason does not relate to the first and should not be presented because of that reason. The unrelated eason weakened the discussion as it created an under-developed explanation in the presentation.  
  
Vocabulary issues continue to be present in the next paragraph. Do not make up English words such as " clearlier", " unknow ", and "chating". Just because it sounds right to you does not mean the word is.in the dictionary. Look it up first. Non-dictionary inclusion means you should not use the word due to spelling and word meaning requirements of the test.
## IELTS WRITING TASK 2 - Owning a home or renting one?

  
  
**In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?**  
  
People from some nations often attach more importance to possessing a home than having rented one. Living in a self-owned home is believed to bring about a sense of comfort, stability and security. This essay will first discuss the possible causes of this move and then indicate whether it will lead to positive or negative effects.  
  
To begin with, there is a trend towards owning a home because it helps ease the tension of renting one. People are not subject to rent expense, and people can channel this money into other urgent family or personal issues. Moreover, homeowners can make modifications to their house according to their preference. To exemplify, asking your landlord to design the rental house could sometimes be annoying and stressful because you must have the owner's permission.  
  
In my viewpoint, having a self-owned home brings lots of advantages to people in many aspects. Individuals can have a stress-free life, remain well aware and do not have to be nomadic only because the proprietor terminates the tenancy. Furthermore, people can show their pride of ownership, gain a sense of stability, and have a valuable asset, which meets many social requirements. Nowadays, many banks provide loans only for people having a convincing quantity of money, which ensures their property can be sealed by the bank if there is any problem.  
  
To reiterate, I firmly opine that owning a house leads to positive development due to its role in ensuring a secured and durable life for humans. Therefore, we should save money, build our own house and live a life without boundaries.
The topic restatement is properly done. AIthough it would benefitted from better synonym usage for the word " rented". The direct response to the first qquestion definitely clarifies the response and discussion slant for the reasoning paragraphs. Sadly, all of these score increasing accomplishments ended when the writer failed to provide a clear response to the second question. The response to the development query was instead misplaced in the conclusion when the question provided clearly placed the response in the opening paragraph.  
  
The direct response for the said paragraph would have also been more helpful to the score had it been made the first sentence / topic sentence of the second paragraph. It would have been better used As a topic anchor there because the witten opinion clearly called for it as a scoring aspect of the paragraph.  
  
The essay presentation would have been high scoring, clear, and , if the enor in response writing had been avoided.
## [IELTS WRITING] - TASK 1 - LINE GRAPH

  
  
The graph illustrates different types of activities in the American senior citizens' leisure time in the period from 1980s to 2010s.  
Overall, the elderly in the U.S spent most of their spare time on watching TV and least of that on surfing the Internet.  
Starting from 60%, which was the highest compared to other activities in the 1980s, the figure for watching TV rose slightly to 70% in the 2000s before falling to around 65% in the 2010s. Meanwhile, there was only about 5% of the U.S. old surfing the Internet in the first years of the period, followed by a slow increase to over 10% in the 2000s and a dramatic climb to exactly 50% in the next decade.  
  
The proportion of hiking, however, reached a peak of 80% in the 2010s, which started from only 20% in the 1980s. During the period, there were wild fluctuations in the proportion of reading and going to the theater. The former grew to 40% in the next decade, then dropped by half in the 2000s before increasing again to 60% in the 2010s. The latter rapidly fell by 20% in the first ten years of the period, and climbed slowly to around 45% in the rest period.  
  
**Hope to receive feedback from you guys. Thank you very much!**
The essay definitely lacks more comparison discussions and analytical presentations as it fails to meet the necessary 250 word count. At only 206 words written, your essay starts off with a TA failing score based on word deductions.  
  
The essay does not read like you even tried to study the image. The writing is rushed and fails to properly present an academic understanding of the image. You merely scanned and wrote. You failed to properly grasp the importance of the report. This was written without proper consideration of the reading audience.  
  
You did not properly space the paragraphs, making it hard to decipher if this is a 3 or 4 paragraph presentation.  
  
\* Limited review due to lack of image upload.
## IELTS writing task 2 - studying abroad

  
  
**Task : People say that a country will benefit greatly if its students study abroad. To what extent do you agree or disagree?**  
  
In this age and day, globalization has paved the way for the students in a country to study overseas. Some people believe that this trend will bring considerable benefits to the country itself. In this essay, I would totally support the mentioned standpoint.  
  
To commence with, a country can catch up with other nations thanks to the knowledge and experience delivered by these students. When students receive education in developed countries, they stand the chances of being exposed to a professional atmosphere where they are able to work with high-qualified board of educators and advanced technological equipment. As a result, they are likely to broaden and extensify their knowledge in specialised field and gain more practical experience. When they turn back and work in a domestic enterprise, they can applied what they have learnt to support it which makes a great contribution to the development of their own country.  
  
Moreover, a country's image can be promoted by the students when studying in other foreign nations.Due to the fact that they are living and learning in a multi-cultural atmosphere, they are likely to make friends with peIople from a variety of cultures. Consequently, they may share with each other interesting things about their own country which helps bring the nation's cultural identity closer to global friends. For example, when studying overseas, Vietnamese students can talk with their foreign friends about attractive destinations in Viet Nam and teach them how to cook traditional food which are a great ways to introduce their own country to the worldwide people.  
  
To conclude, that students decide to go abroad for education is significantly beneficial to a country in terms of knowledge development and cultural promotion. Therefore, the governments should do their best to support and encourage their students to follow this trend.  
  
*I hope to receive your comments so that I can improve my writing. Could you please give me the band of the essay? Thank you for your help.*
The presentation is mostly on track and relevant to the prompt. However, issues with grammar in terms of vocabulary, time reference points , and sentence structure mar the presentation. Skills development in these areas are must. Review all aspects mentioned above and show an overall improvement next time.  
  
Do your best to present more concise paragraphs. Try to do it in 5 sentences. This is the suggested maximum per paragraph that can help to avoid and/or minimize your writing errors.  
  
The essay is actually a good effort but tends to be over presented. These over presentations caused unintentional errors during the writing process. These mistakes are easily avoidable.  
  
\* Contact me privately for scoring services.
***Some people say that computers have made life easier and more convenient. Other people say that computers have made life more complex and stress full.*  
  
## What is your opinion use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.**  
  
One of the miracles in the past century has been the invention of computers. It has gained wide popularity and people often wonder if owning a computer will add any value to their life. In my opinion, computers enhance the quality of life because they save time, effort and can store a lot of information. I will develop these ideas in the subsequent paragraphs.  
  
To begin with, there are a lot of tasks which are repetitive and need to be completed in on a regular basis. These often take up a lot of time, which could be otherwise used for other activities such as interacting with your loved ones or developing your hobbies. Thanks to modern technology computers have good memory and are extremely fast at executing instructions, and hence can complete these tasks much faster than a average human being. For instance, if you are incharge of a local store then you will have to keep track of profit and loss on a regular basis. You need this information to buy inventories accordingly. This is time consuming as well as error prone. Computers can alleviate all these issues easily, and can allow you to use your resources on some other part of the business.  
  
Secondly, a lot of data is generated on a day to day basis at an institutional and individual level. For example, large businesses handle a large number of orders. Details about these orders may be needed in the distant future for various reasons, some of which are handling customer queries, calculating net profit or loss and auditing taxes, because of which storing such data is necessary. One way to store data is in writing, which requires a lot of human resources and space. This data are prone to physical damages and once lost cannot be restored. Not only that it is very cumbersome to process these data. Continuing with the same example as before, if i had to find list of all customers with more than 100 purchases over the last 20 years. Doing this manually would take forever, but a computer can store all the data and compute this list in an instant.  
  
In conclusion, although computers have some disadvantages, including, but not limited to health issues, there are many benefits to using computers such as reduction in manual effort and time. This leads to simpler and sophisticated lifestyle.
The first paragraph needs to represent the original prompt without changing the content. The essence of the original topic must be retained in your interpretation. It is evident that your version of the presentation does not retain the original discussion elements in a new manner. I cannot say that this misinterpretation will be disregarded in the actual test. Not even if your thesis statement was properly developed and presented.  
  
The discussion paragraphs reflect the discussion instructions but the concluding summary does not. There is a continuation of discussion points in this section when whatis required is a summary of the previous discussion points. so it has the same presentation problems as your opening paraphrase.
***Some people say that teenagers should work part-time and earn money. This way they will learn basic lessons about work and become more disciplined. Others argue that teenagers shouldn't sacrifice their rest and after-school activities to work.***  
  
## Discuss both views and give your opinion

  
  
Working while studying is a controversial topic and there are two opinions about it. Although some people advocate the combination, others strongly disagree with it. From my point of view, the young should early carry out part time work when they are students.  
  
On the one hand, it is hard to agree with the idea of sparing time for two activities because studying might render students stressed if they lack time for relaxing, especially during exam period. This can be attributed to the reason that learners may have to face a heavy study load which includes tremendously complicated subjects. After spending a huge amount of time researching, teenagers should allocate their time to other resting activities which can help them avoid overstretching the nervous system.  
  
On the other hand, there are several advantages while having a part - time job. Firstly, they may learn on the job then equip themselves with some basic lessons. It is a consequence of the fact that when a student is officially included in a company, he or she will have various particularly assigned tasks. Therefore, he or she may take a chance of applying theoretical knowledge accumulating from schools into practice as well as collaborate with other colleagues to solve his/her problems. The result is that they may comprehensive the abstract theories and sharpen their interpersonal skills. Secondly, it is said that becoming more disciplined is a precious experience students may have. This result may stem from the strict assessment in the working environment which is known as KPI. It might require the young to well organize and work effectively.  
  
In conclusion, in spite of the fact that totally concentrating on studying may be supported due to its benefits, I am convinced by the opposite idea.
Word usage accuracy is important when writing. Simply stating " working while studying does not carry the same meaning as " Working part-time" while studying. The time reference to an occupation totally changes the meaning of the discussion. Provide a descriptive word alternative that stays true to the original reference.  
  
The overall discussion allows for a reference to the public topics, but not explaining the public reasons. The job of the writer is to explain the reasons behind each public opinion before explaining his own. So, there should be 3 paragraphs here that use 3rd person pronouns twice and 1st opinion pronouns once for discussion format adherence and clarity. There was a failure to support and prove the writer's opinion in the discussion due to the incorrect nature of the presentation. There was an accidental shift from the required comparative discussion to a single opinion for 2 points of view when the essay was written.
## the phenomenon of overwork

  
  
There is an increasing number of employees getting hooked on a distressing phenomenon of excess work. This essay will discuss its main reasons and some possible consequences.  
  
It is apparent that overworking is caused by a number of factors. The foremost culprit is a supplement competitive society. This may result from a parallel development between the world and demand in humans' ability. To be more specific, a cadre of individuals who are the best will be provided with opportunities: they receive a profitable job or cooperate with intriguing partners. Otherwise, people who cannot keep up with the pace will end up at second-tier firms and fall into an abyss of personal social status descent. Another contributor to this unease trend is that people have become more materialistic. Such judgments about one's living condition made by a cursory glance at their accessories have stimulated and perpetuated employees' work ethic.  
  
It is indisputable that excess work will lead to some demerits. First, people suffering from heavy workloads will inevitably face up health problems. This because long hours of work cause work-life imbalance: less workers' free time spent on participating in outdoor activities and entertaining. Consequently, this reduction possibly triggers obesity or depression. Furthermore, not only the individuals become victims but also the society. It is rational that a rocketed number of employees undergoing ailments places a burden on the healthcare system. Such disorders as corpulence or insomnia require long-term treatment and constant check out, leading to an exorbitant cost.  
  
In conclusion, extended working hours are a global crisis triggered by a demanding world and a material fetish lifestyle, which results in aggravation of humans well-being and the healthcare insurance system.