dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
in a given country  
This information is not specified in the images provided. The writer will lose points for not accurately restating the contents of the images. The writer is not allowed to add information to the summary just because he thinks it will make the writing more interesting / accurate. He is not to include information that cannot be verified by the image. Doing so will result in percentage point deductions in relation to the summary overview and task accuracy considerations.  
  
over the period of 99 years  
While this is another way of mentioning the indicated time frame, it is not acceptable in the summary section. The summary should contain precise and accurate references to the original information. Hence, only the year range should be mentioned. An alternative year representation is better used in the body paragraphs. Or, the year indicator should have been mentioned in a parenthesis for accuracy.  
  
The rest of the presentation is accurate enough and will receive decent marks. However, the two major deduction areas will lower the overall score. While the essay will not fail, it may only receive a base passing mark. Avoid the errors indicated next time.
***It is now possible for scientists and tourists to travel to the remote natural environments, such as the South Pole.***  
## Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

  
  
In the present age, technology is advancing, and tourism is expanding by its side, making it possible to travel to isolated regions such as the South Pole. As far as I am concerned, this has both positive and negative consequences for humans and the nearby ecosystem.  
  
Traveling remote regions is associated with a few benefits. To begin with, traveling to other locations allows one to see strange natural wonders of the earth and learn many new things. For instance, visitors may see the wonder of nature, which are awe-inspiring in their splendor. Moreover, tourists that are able to travel to remote locations can experience living in a variety of settings. In addition, biologists can travel to remote regions to explore the habitats of native creatures such as plants, animals, and microorganisms, which may provide them with evidence and experience. Therefore, they will also have a deep understanding of the distinctive species to make many biological breakthroughs.  
  
However, traveling to a remote area has a number of drawbacks. Tourism has the ability to lift people out of poverty while also ruining their identity. For example, the coral reefs around the Mexican island of Cozumel have been damaged by ships and drivers, and they are still seriously impacted by pollution from large ships. Besides that, a rise in the number of visitors is often followed by an increase in garbage, which has a variety of effects on the area. As a result, the pollution of the surrounding environment system has to be suffered by the locals.  
  
To summarize, as previously said, going to faraway natural habitats nowadays might be good for scientific study, but it can also have negative implications that endanger people's lives.
this has both positive and negative consequences  
Good response for a comparative essay. Sadly, your response is incorrect as it does not apply to the question  
  
DO THE ADVANTAGES OF THIS DEVELOPMENT OUTWEIGH THE DISADVANTAGES?  
The question clearly indicates a single response essay.That response must be based on a solid defense of a single - based on the discussion question. The essay has already failed to provide a proper answer using the expected response format. The overall score will not be a passing one. All because the writer Misunderstood the question. Therefore, he must work on his English comprehension skills while also familiarizing himself with the various Task 2 response formats.  
  
There are questions that require comparison reasoning. There are those that require a single opinion such as this one. There are 2 reasons that the essay fails to deliver:  
  
- It does not follow the response format  
- It does not respond to the question  
  
The minor failing reason is the lack of opinion clarity due to the misunderstanding of the question. The writer tried to defend both sides, resulting in a discussion question alteration and a failure to properly follow instructions in English.
## THE INFLUENCE OF PHONE CALLS

  
  
**Anybody can use a mobile phone to answer the work and personal calls at any time or 7 days a week. Does this development have more positive or negative effects on both individuals and society? (Dated: September 9th, 2017)**  
  
At present days, as technology increasingly develops, a cell phone has become an integral part of people's lives when they facilitate mobile phones for work and personal contact all the time. Despite some demerits it brings about, its beneficial aspects outweighed those.  
  
On the one hand, there are several particular benefits from the smartphone we can derive from. First of all, via mobile phone, geographical obstacles could not render us isolated from our families and friends. For example, during the COVID-19 pandemic, face-to-face contacts will be mostly restricted; hence, we still can hold phone calls with our families to stay in touch with each other. Moreover, regarding business and education, telephones may aid communication and exchange of information swiftly so that the efficiency and effectiveness are fostered. Therefore, a majority of enterprises capitalize on online contacts to assign their employees work and for business discussions without meeting in person.  
  
On the other hand, some detrimental impacts of cellphones on daily life should not be overlooked. Initially, it could be a nuisance since mobile phones manipulate people and deprive them of personal freedom and privacy. For instance, a bombardment of phone calls for work at night could disrupt our valuable sleeping time and cause a great deal of time. In addition, in terms of relationships, they will be transformed in the adverse manner at the presence of cellphones. It could be attributed to the fact that people opt to make brisk calls to keep up-to-date about others instead of regular meetings, so people could be virtually linked but factually separated.  
  
In conclusion, albeit disadvantageous to some extent, positive influences of phone calls are more significant.
The discussion format used by the writer is not really well targeted towards the discussion requirement. While there is a need to discuss the reasons why the positives outweigh the negatives, it should not be done in a comparative essay format that uses one paragraph for a positive and one for a negative. Rather, this must be written in the form of a written debate. That means, there are no seperate positive and negative paragraphs. What the examiner will expect to read is the skill by which the writer will turn a negative consideration into a positive aspect. Recall that the requirement is to prove that the positives will outweigh the negatives based on the writer's opinion. Therefore, the "spin" must be in effect with reference to the reasoning development of the writer. Turn the negative into a positive to get the best score in this type of discussion presentation.
***Some people think that everyone has the right to have access to university education, and that government should make it free for all students no matter what financial background they have.***  
  
## To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

  
  
It is argued that all students are entitled to attend tertiary education and their tuition fees should be abolished by governments without their financial status. While this thinking is valid to a certain extent, I believe that pursuing college without fee would have an adverse bearing on students and society.  
  
Continuous learning is the key to knowledge and waiving tuition is the strategy that governments give that key to everyone in order to underpin their intellectual for their own countries. This policy guaranteed nobody abandoned. Developed countries have been running this program to ensure their source of philosopher be always plentiful. For example, Norway and Denmark- countries that cover all education tuition for students from elementary to high level education, are two out of five countries which are by far the happiest place in the world with the percentage of unemplyee nearly 0 percent as well as the continent's fastest growing economy.  
  
Despite the aforementioned benefits, I would contend that provision of free-of-charge education is, in fact, can cause imbalance in society. The job market is extremely competitive as it is, even job seekers with college qualifications. Therefore, if everyone is entitled to university, it is less feasible for them to get a job, let alone the financial abundance previously associated with the acquisition of a tertiary degree. Besides, giving the opportunity for studying in a high-level school easily makes students lose their motivation and they are not forced to get off the ground rather than those who struggle to earn enough money for what they decided to study. The difference between the investment and the outcome cause budget deficit, this becomes an enormous problem that is hard to solve.  
  
In conclusion, while the potential benefits of university tuition waivers make it seem like a good idea, I believe that the government should not make it free for everyone.
While this thinking is valid to a certain extent, I believe that pursuing college without fee would  
The opinion formation is incorrect. The opinion and extent response should be integrated into the reason. It should have been formatted similar to the following:  
  
*I partially agree with this statement to the extent that the government should subsidize free education up to the point that....*  
The point is to clearly represent your opinion, with an integrated thesis statement that will be the basis of the reasoning paragraphs.  
  
Continuous learning is the key to knowledge  
The only acceptable reasoning paragraph here is the second paragraph, which supports the writer's earlier opinion. This should have been the first reasoning paragraph, with the topics within it expanded into a second paragraph to show the cohesiveness of the discussion.  
  
The writer has presented an under developed essay at this point due to the improper first reasoning paragraph. While it might get a passing TA score, there are other grammar related issues in the essay that may still prevent it from receiving a passing score.
## people put their personal information online

  
  
With the advancement of technology, more and more people are opening accounts for social media and online banking purposes. While a lot of people sceptical it security, for me, I think that despite the convenience it may brings, people should not put their personal information online.  
  
On the one hand, as we can see, signing up for an online account easier than ever due to the convenient of technology. In many cases, instead of complete lots of paperwork, users could quickly get an account for bank or for Email. By providing personal information online, people save time doing these registrations. For instance, users who want an account for twitter could do it via online on smartphone any where and anytime they want. Beside, one social media account could sign up for multiple things. Such as, Instagram link to Facebook. Users can administrative their accounts by provide their phone number or email address to get verified. This feature is useful when some invader trying to illegal invasion one's online accounts during an emergency.  
  
On the other hand, there are several problems if one's personal information online is leaked. This user will become a target for not just material but also identity thefts or scam. For example, people may be bored by telesales people because their phone number are sold by companies, or worse the thefts can impersonate the user to claim insurance. People tend to share their status on their social media without private security, the thefts may take advantage of this to break into that person's house, or kidnapped to extortive.  
  
To conclude, although making online account brought a great deal of benefits for people, it must be done carefully and security, in my mind it still more harm than good.
The main question that the essay has to give a direct answer to first, then acceptable reasons for it second, leading to a strong conclusion last is "Do the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?" This is the discussion question that requires the personal opinion of the writer in the form of a thesis statement. This was not responded to in the opinion statement of the writer in the first paragraph. Additionally, the prompt / topic restatement was also altered by the writer, thus creating a totally different discussion presentation for the essay. Such a serious prompt deviation will automatically result in a failing score due to the inability of the writer to properly understand the original prompt, lack of an ability to restate the topic, and a failure to deliver an appropriately formatted discussion opinion at the end.  
  
The reasoning paragraphs do not provide the correct response either. The focus of the reasoning must be on proving either an advantage or disadvantage. This is still a single opinion essay, rather than a comparative analysis. Why? The discussion instruction asks a single question, it does not ask the writer to do a comparative discussion by saying "Compare the advantages and disadvantages". Rather it asks "Is it an advantage or a disadvantage?". The word "or" referring to an option to choose one or the other, but never both sides.  
  
Overall, the essay does not meet the necessary requirements for a passing score even though the writer did his best to present what would have been a fantastic comparative presentation. It is unfortunate that the essay did not require a comparative discussion. If it had been so, then the writer would have passed, instead of failed the test.
Hi there! I hope my feedback will be useful in further developing your essay!  
  
First of all, to make the flow of your essay much smoother, I think you can list down the minor topics that you will discuss later in the first paragraph. Doing so will allow the readers to have a rough idea of how you will present your argument. In the succeeding paragraphs, you may then further explain those minor topics. Doing so will make your essay more structured, and would allow you to go into further details.  
  
Best of luck!
***Some universities offer online courses as an alternative to classes delivered on campus.***  
## Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

  
  
A number of universities suggest that classes through online platforms as a substitute for traditional classes. In my opinion, this trend can have both beneficial and detrimental impacts in equal measure.  
  
On the one hand, several benefits of distance learning programmers should be taken into account. Firstly, students can save time to travel to school and back. As a result, they can spend time for other purposes such as sleep, doing their homework, and helping their parents to do household chores. Secondly, online courses can help universities to cut down on their expenses. For example, because schools do not need to invest in facilities as well as building infrastructure, which means that schools can deduct more money into student scholarships.  
  
On the other hand, the drawback of this trend should not be ignored. The problem is that students can be distracted by the surrounding environment like replying to their friend's messages, joining in and out of social networking sites, and responding to their parents. Consequently, they can not attention to their lessons, which is leads to reducing the effectiveness of the learning process. In addition, lacking face-to-face interaction can be a big problem. For instance, when professors give students a group assignment, they will not discuss it just through messages or emails. As a result, students can miss information when all members in a group chat with a lot of people in there.  
  
In conclusion, I believe that traditional or modern platform classes can have both positive and negative effects depending on individual students.
can have both beneficial and detrimental impacts in equal measure.  
can have both positive and negative effects  
Neither statements provide a direct and correct response to the question. The writer cannot use a response that is not part of the chouices provided by the prompt. This is not a comparative essay, nor is it an extent essay. The writer needs to clearly provide an opinion based on the given question, or risk receiving a failing score due to no clear opinion, based on the guide question, being provided. The misdirection of the response is a clear warning signal that the essay will tend to get a final failing score. The writer did not use the provided keywords for his response, which created a prompt deviation, leading to an incorrect discussion format. He clearly could not make up his mind about which side to support when he was asked to do so. Hence the middle response position that he took. Unfortunately, there was no middle response provided in the discussion, so the writer is considered to not have a clear opinion at all. Respond only based on the provided choices for the discussion. Never make up an unrelated response as that is usually the cause of an immediate failing score.
## people often find it difficult to adapt to new situations in their life

  
  
In the developed era, people usually have to deal with surprise changes that are completely different from life ordinary. However, most people feel confused, and it's hard to tackle those. There are several reasons to explain these phenomenons that will be given in this essay and include suggestions.  
  
To commend with, a clear cause is people do not have enough knowledge and experience to handle new anything in their life. They are not trained to use basic skills in all situations, therefore they lack confidence, even afraid and they maintain ordinary status in their life. For example, a lot of surveys gave evidence to prove that people with a poor level of education are often not capable of creating a breakthrough in study or work. What is more, new situations bring many challenges. They must cope with the astonishing shift that they do not know or think about before. Hence, they are not able to solve those according to the best ways.  
  
For the reasons mentioned above, some keys will suggest addressed. First of all, people should take part in training courses about communication skills, solving-problem skills, and so on to expand knowledge and experience. Besides, it is necessary for students to learn minor subjects in school because surely it will support their knowledge in the future. Another measure is that people should prepare for situations which are capable of happening in the future to ready deal with them anywhen. For instance, Covid-19 is more and more dangerous and threat humans so the government was curbing restaurants that did not open, however, they solve this situation by shipping food to where customers requested.  
  
In conclusion, the appearance of new circumstances is inevitable in life, so people should employ them to improve and create exceptional situations on their own instead of escaping and being afraid of them because it will make people's lives boring.  
  
I want to receive feedbacks about my grammar and the way use vocab in each situations
The exam taker shows a clear grammar range and accuracy problem in the first paragraph. He has almost no control over the way the sentences are structured. The information presented in each paragraph is confusing, lacking in sense, and definitely, do not meet the coherence and cohesiveness requirements of the task. While the writer has done his best to express his thoughts in English, the word usage is more akin to that of someone who used an AI X language to English translator. If this is the English writing ability of the author, then he is not prepared to take and pass the IELTS test. His English language expertise is that of a beginner. He is incapable of making himself properly understood in English.  
  
The writer does not have a clear target for each of his discussion topics, making it more difficult to create a connection between the original topic and the writer's discussion / opinion presentation. Truth be told, this is more of a personal experience discussion that would have benefited say, if the writer had discussed a situation where he had to struggle with a particulat adjustment. An example of this would have been his adjustment to online classes from in-person classes during the pandemic or, how he dealt with the lockdown and lack of social interaction during the lockdown period. Both are the most recent, sudden changes that we all experienced differently, and would have made perfect reasons and solutions discussions for this essay.  
  
The writer may be able to control his sentence structures in the future provided he learns to focus his writing based on the prompt requirements. Rather than trying to give a general discussion, using personal experiences are always best. The examiners tend to score these references higher than usual because it shows a personal understanding of the discussion through relevant examples.
## average monthly spend on children's sports / participation statistics

  
  
**The first chart below gives information about the money spent by British parents on their children's sports between 2008 and 2014. The second chart shows the number of children who participated in three sports in Britain over the same time period**  
  
Given are the two charts which indicate the expenditure of parents in the UK on sports during the period of 7 years from 2008 to 2014 and the amount of children taking part in the three mentioned categories over the same timeline.  
  
It is noticeable that the money spent on sports of British parents tends to increase gradually over years. In addition, football has always been the sporting activities that parents spent their money on the most.  
  
In 2008, British families expended around £20 on a monthly basis for their kids to do sport. This figure rise steadily to over £30 per month in the next 6 years.  
  
It can be clearly witnessed that the number of children participating in football dominated the highest rank of all three sports with around approximately over 8 millions which remained stable during the whole period of time. However, the number of young athletes have an incredible gain with only under 1 million participants in 2008 but ended up with nearly 5 millions children taking part in this sporting activities in 2014. Children who participated in swimming have a tendency to raise gently from just under 2.5 millions to approximate 4 millions swimmers, which means nearly double the figure.  
  
*
Given are the two charts  
Good move identifying the number of charts in the image. However, for clarity needs, you should use 2 additional sentences that seperately identify the image functions. That way the reader will be extremely clear about the information per image. For example, you could have said:  
  
*Image 1 has been assigned for figures relating to... While image 2 was used to refer to...*  
  
Doing this will allow for a clearer trending paragraph reference as you will be able to refer to seperate image trends, without creating any possible confusion for the reader. By merging the trending statements with the summary overview using a single paragraph, you will be able to create a highly comprehensive summary paragraph for your presentation. It will meet all the checkboxes for a valid task representation.  
  
In 2008,  
This is not considered a complete paragraph as it is only composed of 2 sentences. It will not receive a full scoring consideration. A complete paragraph for the IELTS task 1 and 2 require at least 3 sentences, no more than 5. This is an incomplete analysis presentation.