dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
## Advantages and disadvantages of buying things online

  
  
In these modern days, online service has been largely effective that a big number of people put a certain purchase on it. However, this development has both positive and negative sides.  
  
The possible advantage of buying what you need online is saving time. In the past, people had to hang out to the supermarket or shopping mall to find fit clothes or popular makeup products. However, in the past few decades, most of the famous cosmetics have been sold online, both national and international brands. We just need to log in to the official website and choose which items we want to get. All of our items then will be purchased via cards. Also, clothes shops nowadays provide the sizes and prices so we can consider buying them without wasting time going to the stores then end up having no new clothes. Another good point for this service development is that we can buy things from overseas. For instance, if we wanted to order albums from Kpop stores which are not located in our countries, we could do it through some online sites that ship these things from Korea.  
  
Though, there are some disadvantages of putting a purchase online. Firstly, we cannot be sure and guaranteed about the quality of the products. Take makeup products as an example, you are not an excellent expert to check whether the shop had given you the real or fake items. Also, sometimes shirts or pants are turned out to be extremely bigger than expected. Secondly, the bad point is this service can cause less motivation for lazy people. Usually, hanging out to choose and buy necessary things such as food can be the only way for lazy people to getting out of their house. However, the internet has increasingly risen and that makes homebody people have more reason to stay at home.  
  
In conclusion, although buying things online can help people in some situation, it may have bad effects on our mood and daily lives.
@angelvyle  
Hi there. Welcome! I'll provide you with writing feedback here on your essay.  
  
Firstly, I highly recommend making more concrete and certain your lines. Doing this will ensure that you have more *tailor-fit* words to assist you. This will also trim down your essay to make your content more organized. Take a look at your first paragraph. The first line could have been better phrased as: "In modern time, online services have made people purchase larger quantities." Notice how it relays the same meaning but it a more concise manner. Try practicing this throughout your writing.  
  
Structure is critical when writing. Make sure that you use the appropriate punctuation to capitalize more on the essential pauses. Furthermore, try to also minimize complex lines that do not abide by normative structures to simplify (and make more academic) the tone of your essay.
## Knowledge gained from book vs experience?

  
  
It has been said, "Not everything that is learned is contained in books". Compare and contrast knowledge gained from books and knowledge gained from experience. In your opinion, which source is more important? Why?  
  
Learning is part of everyone's life. We learn through various methods, such as a book or experience. What we learn out of book and experience has significant differences. It's hard to judge which use of source is the best because they evenly have disadvantages and advantages. However, when it comes to learning, I personally agree with the statement, "Not everything that is learned is not contained in books".  
  
Countless books contain a wide scope of information. Without any long term experience, we get acknowledged from books in a short amount of time. We can conveniently earn information and conceive things we can't do in reality. For example, traveling can be done in this way. Sometimes we don't get the opportunity to travel around and learn about distinct cultures. Nevertheless, books make it possible. When we utilize our eyes to read letters and perceive pictures of countries, we are able to get hands-free experience. A hands-free experience means that we are experienced without the need to physically touch or be in a precise location. Yet, learning through books as some shortcomings, unlike real experience.  
  
I think that learning is not simply knowing. I believe that valuable learning comes when we can turn what we have informed into ours. Surprisingly, the experience is the key to guiding this to come to a reality. Experiencing may take a long time, but the knowledge gain from experience is way deeper than the knowledge gained from books. When we experience, we use almost all five senses, see, touch, smell, hear, and taste. This build stronger feelings and meaning through the process of our experience. For instance, in my environmental science class, we made our own eco-friendly product, bioplastic. We gathered materials and tried out several trials until we finally made our own bioplastic. This experience gave me not only the knowledge about bioplastic but precious memories that are unforgettable. Therefore experience is the best way to get both acknowledged and make the learning into mine at the same time.  
  
Books and experience are fundamental tools to teach ourselves. People have different opinions on whether what we learn is all inside in books, but according to what has been mentioned, I believe that not everything can be learned through books. Experience is also necessary for learning.
@hhhaye  
Hello there. Welcome to the forum. I hope you find this feedback helpful for your writing endeavors.  
  
Firstly, clarity is critical in writing. Bear this in mind at all times. While you may find yourself consistently needing to handle a large chunk of text, constantly boiling it down to smaller pieces will help you have a more consistent approach with writing. Furthermore, I also suggest trying to evade the usage of informal language when writing in order to assist you in the long-run in writing with ease.  
  
Speaking of simplification, I heavily suggest applying this to your second paragraph. Doing so will help you maximize your writing furthermore. Notice how you appeared to be blabbering at times already (third and last sentences). Have a more blunt and straightforward approach to writing.
## the popularity of science at schools

  
  
**Not enough students choose science subjects in universities in many countries. What are the reasons and what are the effects on society?**  
  
In many nations, few students select subjects of science as their major in college. The main reasons are likely to be lack of interest or stereotype of a narrow career path, causing the companies hard to find employees with science-related skills.  
  
Since science subject requires heavy calculations, the lack of related training before college make students often fail on such science-related subjects as math and physics, discouraging their confidence in such subjects. Therefore, a lack of confidence is easy to lead to lack of interest, causing them to choose other subjects that include fewer calculations. Also, the career path of science is often connected to research jobs, which spent a lot of time working and was paid less. Unlike other industries like businesses, science will not be the first choice for high school graduates.  
  
However, many companies require people with strong analytical skills to conduct quantitative projects like how many new facilities need to be built or the forecast for next year earnings. Lacking this kind of professions make the enterprises hard to come up with plans, causing them the risk of failure. According to recent studies, it is told that quantitative analysis can help companies to have a more accurate forecast of the future, leading 50% less risk of going bankrupt.  
  
In conclusion, I think that schools should increase more practice of calculations and correct the misunderstanding of the science career path so that companies may have a brighter future.
@s410377088  
Hi there. Welcome back to the forum. I hope you find the feedback you see here to be beneficial for your writing endeavors. I'll go on top of what the prior comment has already mentioned to ensure the delivery of a more precise and meaningful feedback.  
  
Overall, while your writing is decent, I would recommend trying to simplify your paragraphs a bit more. When you focus too much on hefty texts, the readers may not be able to digest with ease all of the information present because of the lack of clarity in text.  
  
Be cautious of your composition. Remember to be mindful of small details that can affect a large proportion of your writing. For instance, the second to the last sentence of your second paragraph needs a bit of editing due to the inconsistencies in structure.
## who should take care of the environmental issue?

  
  
*Some people think that there are things individuals can do to help prevent global climate change. Others believe that action by individuals is useless and irrelevant and it is only governments and large businesses which can make a difference. Discuss both views and give your opinion*  
  
One of the most urgent problems facing us these days is global climate change. Some people argue that individuals play a pivotal role in preserving the ecological system. Others claim that it is governments' responsibility not the people. Both viewpoints will be discussed and critically evaluated before a final conclusion is drawn.  
  
On the one hand, there are plausible reasons why individuals' obligation is indispensable in preventing the global climate deterioration. Obviously, people are an integral part of the society so proactive actions taken by them can rectify moderately the situation. For this reason, if individuals do more environmentally friendly activities such as planting trees, using eco-friendly vehicles frequently... their concerted efforts will eventually contribute to a positive ultimate outcome. For instance, more and more people use biodegradable materials and buy products with less packaging can reduce markedly the amount of garbage which are heavily contaminated. What can be inferred from this is that if people hold their hands anc work together on the same common goal of environmental protection, natural catastrophe will no longer be in existence.  
  
On the other hand, some people think that only the serious measures taken by authorities prove fruitful for the following reasons. To be more specific, governments influence people on a larger scale so they can adopt and enforce stricter laws and regulations against environmentally harmful activities. Moreover, because some solutions to conserve natural habitats are beyond individuals' ability, only policy makers can make the difference by making heavy investment in green technology or eco- friendly practices. Additionally, large organizations and businesses can develop ecological consciousness by educating people the global climate change which reshape people's thinking and mindset while individuals hardly do it.  
  
Environmental issue poses threat to human life so in my opinion, everyone should be responsible for protecting the environment. Because small actions can lead to enormous results, people should not be indifferent the problem and take actions.
@Winter  
Hello. It's nice to see you again here! I'm here once more to provide you with writing feedback.  
  
The first paragraph is quite well-done, I would say. You had a straightforward and yet put-together approach in writing, rendering the final work to be utterly nice and smooth to listen to.  
  
I would only recommend adding more dyanism to your writing approach. Take a look at your second paragraph. While you had an excellent writing style, you had quite a hefty speech pattern. These lengthy chunks of text can be offputting for readers due to how heavy they are on the eyes. I suggest playing around with lengths and depths of composition rather than putting all of the complexity in one area.
**Topic: Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school.  
Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?**  
  
## picking up a new language early

  
  
Many perspectives are that children should set about taking in new language at elementary school than secondary school. Indeed, absorbing a new language at a younger age will benefit children's development process, which brings tremendous advantages even though it still has some disadvantages. However, the advantages are definitely Superior to drawbacks.  
  
Learning a new language at primary school is certainly the best period for children. A ton of scientific researches point out that children from 8 to 12 years old truly have better capability of picking up a new language than others. The reasons for this are in relation to the fact that children at this age still have a large sum of learning space in their brains. They are still not overwhelmed by a lot of knowledge from the society. Additionally, the manner that children of that age learn a new language are really distinct from others. Children feel more relaxed to play with the language and they don't bear pressure much.  
  
Approaching a new language Ripes many benefits for primary children. When they obtain higher education, they are about to get more opportunities. For instance, as children learn English in elementary school, they may have chances in secondary school such as international scholarships, foreign activities, so on . Moreover, children surely have more time to enhance the language ability instead of merely having some first steps with the language in higher education. With their background knowledge in primary School, their language learning process in secondary school will be concentrated harder in the higher levels.  
  
However, there are still some disadvantages of learning new language in primary School. In particular, children may get the mixed language which is the combination between the mother tongue and foreign language. Nevertheless, it is fairly easy for them to get over this issue by the teacher's supports.  
  
In conclusion, no matter children start to learn a new language at primary school or secondary school, it always gives them many advantages. However, picking up a new language at an earlier age will ripe more benefits than others.  
  
I hope you guys will give me many feedbacks. Please, be hard on my wring; point out my mistakess. I'm really thankful and grateful for you guys.
@JackieMahamn  
Hi there. I'll provide you with writing feedback. I'm happy to see you here again! Keep being an active member of the forum.  
  
Firstly, I'd like to commend you for the clarity of text that you have. The first paragraph is quite excellent and clear-cut when it comes to showcasing a straightforward and yet put-together composition.  
  
I would only suggest to try to eliminate the usage of words or phrases that'll not benefit your writing's flow and tone. For instance, the second paragraph should be phrased without the line "*a ton of*" as it indicates inaccuracy and uncertainty in text. Both of these traits, of course, is not to be observed and followed in academic writing.
## fundraising?

  
  
**Everybody should donate a fixed amount of their income to support charity. How far do you share this view point?**  
  
Raising funds is regarded as a valuable contribution to the society. However, it is controversial whether or not a steady amount of money should be handed out to charity. From my point of view, I strongly disagree with this opinion.  
  
For a variety of reasons, I suspect that it would be inappropriate for everybody to fundraise. First of all, there is an overwhelming fact that each person makes different incomes. Some people make lucrative incomes from their occupations, whereas some people are living on a budget. As a matter of fact, it is without dispute that some people are not be able to give a donation of money when they are endeavoring to make ends meet.  
  
Another drawback of this trend is that it is obviously ineffective since voluntary work is only meaningful when it derives from voluntary spirits. While the original meaning of charity is sharing with pleasure and bliss, fundraising should not be considered as a mission. Therefore, it should not be compulsory for everybody to make a contribution to charitable organizations. Furthermore, reality shows that there are a wide range of methods for people to involve themselves in charity works apart from donating money such as donating blood, participating in a charity run, selling discarded clothes and goods or even becoming an organ donor. Those are all considered to be effective and priceless contributions.  
  
In conclusion, for above-mentioned reasons, I believe that donating a fixed amount of money should not be applied to every individual.  
( 253 words )
@amira11545  
Hi there. Thanks for being back here! I'm here to give feedback on this essay. I hope you find this useful for your learning endeavors!  
  
Firstly, I appreciate the straightforward writing approach that you have in your essay. The first paragraph, in particular, was crisp and clear. Keep up this tone and manner of writing!  
  
I do still suggest that you try to ensure the clarity of the academic tone of your language. For example, taking a look at your second paragraph, the transition between your sentences still need improvement due to the overwhelming structure that you had.  
  
On the other hand, the second sentence was quite too packed with transitionary lines. Try to keep these things at a minimum to ensure a more fluid and organic delivery of lines.
## how a health centre has changed

  
  
The two pictures show how the layout of a health complex has changed from 2005 to the present day. It is noticeable that facilities and transport service have gone through development and construction in both the interior and the exterior of the center.  
  
Looking at the changes in more detail, we can see that there were three indoor consulting rooms at the complex in 2005. However, a fourth consulting room has been constructed, reducing the former consulting rooms in size. In addition to this, there has also been a building of a minor operations room behind the unchanged office, while the physiotherapy still remains intact. There is also more free space in the hallway as the reception desk has been removed to the front of the office and next to the newly added children's play area.  
  
The maps also show that modifications were also made on the outside of the building. In 2005, the parking lot, situated in the south of the complex, had the capacity of 12 spaces. However, in the present, it has been enlarged, replacing the land which was previously used as a garden. Due to this significant development, the parking area is now available for 18 more spaces and have made a decline in the garden's size.  
  
Thank you for your time and consideration!  
  
*
@thuithuidangiu  
Hello there. You're welcome in advance! Just reach out to us if you have any other concerns or issues that you wish to be resolved.  
  
I find that you have a tendency to overcomplicate your sentences. This makes your writing immensely difficult to comprehend at times due to the inconsistency of text. Because of the variations and technicalities present in this analysis, I suggest opting for a simpler tone to elaborate with more clarity.  
  
Let's take a look at, for instance, your second paragraph. The third sentence appears to be bloated with text, making it difficult for readers to fully comprehend the details present here. If you can, you should be able to strategically focus your information without needing to forcibly link details into one small piece of text.
## substantial coverage of crimes in media

  
  
*Giving detailed descriptions of crimes on the press has bad influence, so information of this should be restricted. To what extent do you agree or disagree with you this statement?*  
  
Undeniably, crime rate is on the increase. However, substantial coverage of crimes on the mass media has dire consequences to people's life. Therefore, I personally agree with it and people should minimize the underside effects.  
  
Obviously, in-depth news reports about violent contents may potentially pollute children's mind. To be more specific, no matter what the news are, children tend to imitate the actions and behaviors shown on the press. They suppose that violence and death is a normal part in modern society. As a consequence, adolescents subconsciously behave aggressively and cruelly which may give rise to the upsurge of juvenile delinquency. For instance, it is reported that under the contents about brutal fightings, serial killers' influences, teenagers are more likely to have antisocial behavior or illegal activities than those who do not watch. Thus, censorship of this kind of information is necessary.  
  
Another point to consider is the fact that detailed descriptions of crimes may lead to the loss of justice and security of everyone. In other words, news and documentaries illustrating criminal acts may generate fear and anxiety towards people as well as the reality of life. Watchers often mislead to the belief that they are living in a dangerous world. Hence, they develop a sense of insecurity and mistrust if they watch detailed account of crimes on a regular basic. Moreover, because images of this information shown on television are extremely obsessive and disturbing, people do not realize the positive side of life surrounding their environment.  
  
To sum up, although some people argue that considerable coverage of crimes can be beneficial, the adverse impacts of it are undoubtedly inevitable. For this reason, government should censor the contents of mass media to maximize the advantages and lessen the disadvantages.
I am going to take Ielts test, so if you give me a band score for this essay, i will appreciate it.  
  
## parenting classes aren't the solution

  
  
Parenthood is not an easy task, so in some countries, there are classes to help couples better prepare it. However, I do not side with this view for the following reasons.  
  
On the one hand, I know parenting classes provide learners with in-depth knowledge about different stages of development, thus couples would know clearly how they would raise their kids according to each period. For example, when should parents start feed their children with food or drink, what the temperature should be applied when their infant sleeps, all of which would be brand-new for new parents. Secondly, these courses would prepare parents first-hand knowledge when their offspring has emergency such as high fever, choking. Knowing these knowledge in advance saves parents a lot of time searching and asking other people.  
  
On the other hand, however, I think courses are unnecessary as couples could learn themselves to handle it through a lot of sources such as Internet, grandparents' advice. For example, in Viet Nam, parenting knowledge is usually passed down from older generations such as grandmother who have time-honored experience or in today's world, there are a lot of free groups of mothers sharing and asking about valuable advice on Facebook. Furthermore, so expensive is parenting preparation that it usually involves accommodation, medical fee, baby clothes and nutritional products for mother, so it puts more burdens to couples if they have to afford those courses. This may even lead them to debt, especially with medium-class families, affecting their budget later on. Another reason is that parenting tasks are various, teachers could not expect all of them as they only just teach common problems, so it would not ensure parents could deal with all specific situations when they have babies.  
  
To conclude, it seems that although classes have several benefits, parents do not need to attend them as they could always learn from other cheaper sources for specific situations, and from the past, without such courses, parents still took good care of their children.