dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
***The table below presents the number of children ever born to women aged 40-44 years in Australia for each year the information was collected since 1981.***  
  
The table reveals the number of children born to Australian women aged 40-44 years in four different years: 1981, 1986, 1996 and 2006, calculated by percentage. Overall, it is really important to notice that the proportion of women who had three children or more declined gradually during the whole period whilst the converse appeared to be true in women who had no children or less than or equal two children.  
  
Initially, it is obvious that women aged 40-44 years tended to have two children, followed by women who had four or more children and three children, at 27.6% and 27.4% respectively, while the proportion of women who were childless and had one children only had less than one in ten of the total proportion. More broadly, this trend also occurred until the last period.  
  
Eventually, we can see that the proportion of two-child women in early forties broke the record as the highest proportion by climbing considerably to 38.3%, while similar trend experienced to childless women and one-child women, reaching 15.9% and 13.2% in sequence. By contrast, the proportion of women who had three children dropped slightly by around 6%, while a dramatic dip marked in women who had four or more children in 2006. **(207 words)**  
  
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***The graphs below provide information on global population figures and figures for urban populations in different world regions.***  
  
The line chart reveals the trend about the growth of world population across the globe from 1800 to 2100, whilst the bar chart shows an estimated population proportion in developed regions and developing regions for the next 25 years, measured by millions. Overall, it is immediately obvious that the rise of global population will not only be expected in the world, but also in some areas.  
  
The global population growth has appeared to increase gradually since 1800. It is clear that between 1800 and 1960, there is a slight rise growth from 1 billion to 3 billion people. In the next following years, this trend still occurs to increase and will be predicted to rise continuously before declining slightly in the near future. More broadly, the growth rate is expected to reach a peak of 8.2 billion in 2050, and then dip to around 6.2 billion people in 2100.  
  
Apart from the previous prediction, almost urban population growth will occur in areas of developing countries in the next 25 years. On the other hand, a level off rate of urban population will experience in areas of developed countries at approximately 1.3 billion the same period. **(196 words)**  
  
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The table gives the information about top ten countries in the london 2012 Olympic games winning the number of medals. Overall, the rank of country was based on the number of gold medals obtained; the United States was by far the most successful country in this event.  
  
United States was by far dominated country in this event with total medal of 104. Besides, China got the second position with medals total of 88. Rusia medals total was better than Great Britain, but they had lower gold medals with the difference of 5. It makes them stayed at fourth position.  
  
On the other hand, South Korea was not succesfully at winning silver's medals than Germany, with a total of 8 compared to Germans's 19 but they position was stand above the Germany as they won two more gold medals. France gold's medals total was more winning than both of Italy and Hungary. Even though the Italy and Hungary had same number of gold's medals total but Hungary was lose from the number of silver's and bronze's medals. Australia not gave the best performance as the result they stayed at 10 position.  
  
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Dear andika, here some advices from me and feel free to correct me too!  
  
The table ~~gives~~**reveals***(if you want to get better score on writing)* the information about top ...  
  
United States was ~~by~~ far dominated ~~country~~ in this event with total medal**s** of 104.  
  
It ~~makes~~**made***(because it is the past condition)* them stayed at fourth position.  
  
Regards
Hi andika08,  
  
... about top ten countries in the london 2012 Olympic ---> You should use capital letter for a country's name.  
  
Rusia medals total was ...--> It's Russia, be careful with misspelling.  
  
Itmakes them stayed ... ---> You have to use past tense - It made.....  
  
South Korea was not succesfully at winning silver's ...----> be careful with your misspelling - "successfully".  
  
... the result they stayed at 10 position. ---> The right one is "10th position"  
  
Keep writing!
***Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.***  
  
Certain people say that children must learn to become part of society at school while other thinks that parents who have this responsibility. I believe school is the best place to apply this knowledge. However, parents must guide them to be kind person in their community.  
  
School is the location when children make relationship as a friend and pupil. This place is extremely suitable for them to communicate in a good way, learn about how to help each other and also about how to responsible with their obligation as a student. Taking my youngest brother, named Raja as an example. From school he get many friends. He know how to respect with his friend in different religion. Also, he realize to finish his homework well as a form of responsibility to his teacher. Although this place is very suitable for children to grow as a member of cohort, but parent is the most important persons behind children images.  
  
The main place for children to spend their live is home with their parents. Parent should ask to their children about what activity that they have done at school, how about the experience of children school today and what problem that children have met at school. These questions will persuade children to share their experience, thus parent able to teach them how to be good members of society, starting from their school. My mother for example. She always ask about those questions to her daughter and son after we finished our school everyday. Sometimes, I and my mother have long conversation about how to be a good person in all aspects of my community at school. This is an obligation for parents to cultivate good things to their children.  
  
To sum up, I believe that the best root for children is their parents to guide them become good people in society. School is the best place for them to practice knowledge from their parents.
School is the location ~~when~~*where* children make relationship ...  
... to help each other and **it is** also about how to **be** responsible with their ...  
  
From school**,** he get**s** many friends. He know**s** how to respect ~~with~~ his friend in different religion. Also, he realize**s** to finish his homework well ...  
  
... but parent**s**~~is~~*are*the most important ~~persons~~ people behind children images.  
  
thus parent**s****will be** able to teach them ...  
  
She always ask**s** about those questions (...) after ~~we~~ they finish~~ed~~~~our~~ their school everyday.  
  
Sometimes, ~~I and my mother~~*my mother and I*have long  
  
*Hi beauty, I only revised your grammar, because it seems you have problems with that. learn more about subject+verb agreement as well as the use of pronouns. i noticed in this essay, you made mistakes in those parts*  
  
*for correcting the contents of your essay, i will let the others fix it.  
good luck, keep it up*
***The chart below shows the amount of money per week spent on fast foods in Britain. The graph shows the trends in consumption of fast foods.***  
  
The bar chart and line graph illustrate the amount of money spent on fast foods classified by citizens' earnings and the number of its consumption during two decades in UK. At a glance, apart from fish and chips, people with high income dominate the number of expenses, meanwhile from 1970 to 1990, two kinds of the fast foods experienced a considerable rise.  
  
With more than 40, hamburger far dominated people's expenditure in high level income, twice higher than the other food. Those earning average only outnumbered the figure for the former in fish and chips at 25, 7 times higher than the amount of money spent by high level earners on some food. Spending the lowest rate on both hamburger and pizza, the low level income showed the same rate of fish and chips as people with high income salary had.  
  
Meantime, for the first decade, fish and chips showed its number of consumption rising steadily to 150 and it rocketed by 350 for the following decade. Similarly, occupying the lowest rate in the first year, hamburger saw an increase of 270. By contrast, over the 20-year period, the trend of pizza fell dramatically to 210. Even though it increased during the last five years, it did not offer a significant difference.  
  
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Hi hujjatul19,  
  
Here's few notes for you:  
  
people with high income dominate the number of expenses... ---> you should utilize past tense to describe your overview if it has already occurred in the past. It should be "dominated"  
  
... rising steadily to 150? and it rocketed by 350 ? ---> is it dollars? rupiahs? pounds? you are not mention the measurement. It should be pounds.
**For some people a high salary is the most important criterion when choosing a new job while others are satisfied if the job contributes to society  
  
Discuss both views and give you opinion.**  
  
It is held by some that high income is the first reason when deciding to a new job while other people are more pleased to the job which has an impact on society. Although well-paid wage is important to meet our daily needs, I firmly believe there is another cause when opting a new occupation, such as a passion to make society better.  
  
It is undeniable fact that most people need money to get a decent life so that money becomes their priority. For instance, in current situation many people, especially millennial generation, resign from their prior job with low wage so as to seek another occupation which offers high payment no matter what the jobs are. This is because they consider that people's nowadays live in different era than in the past few years, where the prices of staples are increasing gradually, so that to live in financially self-sufficient is more important than other reasons.  
  
However, some people have different point of view, in which they believe their passion in improving the quality of society is more essential. Taking my friend named Anggita as an example, she had already been working on Heinz, a multinational company, for 3 years and she also had high income each month. Her responsibility in this company was selling company's products to consumers, which was not her passion because it did not have any social impact on society. Finally she gave up her job, and now she has joined in non-governmental organization (NGO) even though her salary is lower than her previous job. By joining NGO, she believes it will be more worthwhile to improve the living of the poor.  
  
The aforementioned evidence reveals that every person has its own consideration. But I do believe that money is not everything in this world, there are people out there who think the most significant thing in life is to enhance the quality of life for all people, particularly the poor. By doing as such, I am convinced that society will be better for future generation to live.
Hi amrillahmk. Here are my suggestions for you.  
  
... are more pleased ~~to~~with the job which ...  
..., such as a passion ~~to make society better.~~for making society better.  
  
... people's nowadays live in the different era than (...) so that to live in ~~financially self-sufficient~~self-sufficient financial is more important ...  
  
Finally(,) she gave up her job, and (...) improve the living of the ~~poor~~needy .  
  
Suggestion:  
for your second body paragraph, try to give your own opinion to emphasize your own statements.  
  
I hope it can be useful for you.  
Goodluck!
The table gives the information about the number of medals consists of gold, silver, bronze which obtain in ten participant countries in 2012. Overall, country's rank is influenced by the quantity of gold. It is noticeable that the United States dominated all countries with their total gold.  
  
Turning to top five ranks, United States had 46 gold medals so that occupy in the first position. Then, the second place was China which was gaining 38 gold medals. Great Britain came in the third with 29 gold medals. Although Russia had superiority number of bronze at 32, it still in fourth since gained 24 gold medals. The composition number of silver and bronze in South Korea was a minority, but it can take fifth with 24 gold medals.  
  
On the other hand, even though Germany had bigger total all medals than South Korea with 44, it is not influenced rating due to the quantity of gold smaller than South Korea. Whereas France had the same number of gold medals with Germany, but it can not exceed the gain of bronze and silver. Italy and Hungary had similar gold medals, but Italy is better because of a total of bronze and silver above Hungary. The last position was occupied by Australia with 7 gold medals although the sum of bronze and silver can surpass ranked above it.  
  
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**Writing Task 1- Japan's Population : Past, Present, and Future trends**  
  
The charts reveal about the aggregate of inhabitant in Japan based on survey prediction in the past, present, and future in over a hundred years, measured by millions. Overall, it is noticeable that the Japan populace had reached a peak in 2005, while the rest of the years occurred change in the quantity of populace. Moreover, the number of older people will be predicted to increase in 2035.  
  
In 1950, the number of population had started in the lowest percentage throughout the years while in the following years, the population was increased gradually. It can be seen from the figure, the proportion of populace for about 84.1 with older people percentage by 4.1. However, the growth of population was accompanied by the number of older people. In 2005, when the total population had reached a peak up to 127,8, this was followed by the quantityr of older people simultaneously increased up to 25,5 in the same period.  
  
Interestingly, in 2035, eldery is predicted to increase up to 37,7 while the number of population will be decrease to 110. This trend is likely different from the last decade. Lately, Based on the figure,when the population of Japan is likely occur double decrease, the aggregate of older people is predicted stagnant at about 36-37%.  
  
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*Data*
Hello @jordansimons, I got some suggestions for your writing:  
  
Moreover, the number of ~~older~~ (ELDERLY) people will be ...  
  
..., the population ~~was~~ increased gradually.  
..., the proportion of populace ~~for~~ (WAS) about 84.1 ...  
... followed by the quantity~~r~~ of ~~older~~ (ELDERLY) people simultaneously ...  
  
Interestingly, in 2035, (THE) ~~eldery~~ (ELDERLY PEOPLE) ~~is~~ (WILL BE) predicted to increase ...
The breakdown of information regarding population growth in different regions as well as developing and developed states during three centuries from 1800 to 2100 years, measured by millions of people. Overall, it is really important to notice that the highest inhabitation of developing regions will reach a peak dramatically in 2040.  
  
Initially, in the first year trend of developing regions seadily started at one biliions of people. The growth of population always experince a tremendous upward in the next following years. Noticeably, a high rise was seen in the line of developing regions reached seven billion of residents in 2015. In the same period, advanced regions appeared which had number of populations more than less 1300 millions.  
  
Eventually, by mantaining a resctriction of inhabitation growth, as the results, it will be predicted that population of developed regions will expericence a similar number in 2040. While this year will be largest population of developing states during whole period. Interestingly, a sharply decline will be followed in the last year even will reach the same level in the present time.  
  
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Hello @dalvis, I got some suggestions for your writing:  
  
... to notice that the highest ~~inhabitation~~ (INHABITANT) of developing regions ...  
  
Initially, ~~in the first year~~ (THE) trend of developing regions ~~seadily~~ (STEADILY) started at one ...  
The growth of population ~~always experince~~ (HAS EXPERIENCED) a tremendous upward ~~in the next following years~~ (SINCE 1800).  
In the same period, ~~advanced~~ (DEVELOPED) regions appeared which ...  
  
... a similar number in 2040~~. While~~ (, WHILE) this year will be (THE) largest population of ...
**Writing Task 1: Japan's Population in the Past, Present and Future Trends**  
  
The given bar charts and table show the proportion of Japan's citizens entirely over a century, from 1950 to 2055 measured in million, and a part of them aged more than 65-years old identified in only four years: 1950, 2005, 2035, and 2055. Overall, it can be seen clearly that there is a gradual increase of Japan's residents during over a half century between 1950 and 2005 and predicted will experience a sharp decline in the future, while Japanese aged over-65s have the highest number in 2035.  
  
According to the data, the total of people in Japan grew gradually from 84.1 to 127.8 million between 1950 and 2005. In 2005, it was the highest number of Japan's population, while the people aged over 65 years in 2035 reaching 37.2 million. However, it predicted will drop dramatically almost reaching population number in the first period.  
  
By contrast, the proportion of over-65s residents in 1950 had a small percentage of total population about 4.9%. Over 50 years, it experienced an increase about fourfold from the previous identified year. Afterwards, the total Japanese aged over-65s will increase in the last period of given data, being nearly a half of total population.
Hallo @asmaraj96, I got some suggestions for your writing:  
  
The given bar chart~~s~~ and table show ...  
... that there ~~is~~ (WAS) a gradual increase of (...) 1950 and 2005 and ~~predicted will experience~~ (WILL BE PREDICTED TO DECLINE SHARPLY) ~~a sharp decline~~ in the future, while ...  
  
... over 65 years in 2035 ~~reaching~~ (REACHED) 37.2 million. However, it ~~predicted will drop~~ (WILL BE EXPECTED TO DROP) dramatically almost ...  
  
... an increase about (A) fourfold from the ...
**Write about the following topic.  
  
Some people decide to start their own business instead working for a company or organization. Do the advantages for people working for their own business outweigh the disadvantages?  
  
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.**  
  
Nowadays, entrepreneurship become more popular and attractive for some people who want to build their own business. There are many examples of successful people who create their own job. Although, an entrepreneur must be face several challenges or risks, but overall I suppose that the positive effect of create own job space more outweigh any drawback.  
  
However, a person who act as an entrepreneur have different perspective with commonly mindset of people as usually. Certainly, the people who have own business will be more freely in working time. They also can be the leader of their own company. Moreover, the people who have innovative thinking will be more get advantages with this job, where they can develop their idea into a new things or new products that never exist before. Thus, if they are lucky, their products will attract the consumer for using it intensively. In addition, the people can more earn higher income than other competitor. The most different point of people who have own business is convenience life which keep earn money or income even when he doesn't work instantly.  
  
In the other side, not all people have same passion about entrepreneurship. Part of them presumably not suitable with this job. Hence, the negative things if the people are not ready to handle the risk of business is make them will be lose. Several things of drawbacks being an entrepreneur are there is not guarantee for lasting successfulness. As long as the new competitor still be there, lucky or unlucky is always is absolutely change.  
  
In conclusion, the people who have own job space will be more independently in arrange their enterprise and have more skilled up in managing their financial matters.  
  
(282 words)
Hello @SarlindaDS\_27, I got some suggestions for your writing:  
  
Nowadays, entrepreneurship become(S) more popular and ...  
... Although, an entrepreneur must ~~be~~ face several challenges ...  
  
However, a person who act(S) as an entrepreneur ~~have~~ (HAS) different perspective with common~~ly~~ mindset of people as usual~~ly~~ .  
... develop their idea into ~~a~~ new things or new products ...  
... will attract the consumer ~~for using it~~ (TO BE USED/UTILIZED) intensively.  
... higher income than other competitor(S).  
... convenience life which keep(S) earn money or income even when he ~~doesn't~~ (DOES NOT) work instantly.  
  
Part of them (ARE) presumably not suitable with this job. Hence, the ~~negative things~~ (DRAWBACKS WILL OCCUR) if the people are (...) risk of business ~~is~~ (WHICH) make(S) them will be lose. Several ~~things of~~ drawbacks being an ...  
  
As long as the new competitor(S) (ARE) still be there, lucky or unlucky ~~is always~~ (IT) is absolutely change.  
  
... be more independently ~~in~~ (TO) arrange their enterprise ...
**WRITING TASK I (Unit 5 Page 56)**  
  
The diagrams show about a process of generating electricity which produced by wind and where are the generator spot most appropriately to be placed. Overall, a wind turbine can be placed in nearby or far away from of settlement areas, but certainly the energy is produced will be different depend on its location which positioned.  
  
Additionally, a wind turbine is made from some equipment which usually consist of steel tower, blades-fiberglass or wood, a wind sensor tool for controlling speed and as detector of wind direction and also a computer for receiving information from wind sensor. Actually, the process of a wind turbine is simple enough. First, the wind which blow will make the blades rotates until the wind sensor focused on the wind that have maximum speed and position accurately to produce the maximum energy or powerful generator.  
  
In this case, the spot of wind turbines position also very influence to the electric output. However, the wind turbine which has been placed in offshore or in hills have higher powerful energy rather than if it is placed in the settlement regions with electric produced are 1.5 mega-watts : 100 kilowatts respectively.  
  
(191 words)  
  
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