dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
The line chart illustrates the total of books read by men and women at Burnaby Public Library between 2011 and 2014. Overall, all figures showed an upward trend despite different increasing rate was witnessed by them.  
  
In 2011, the difference number of books read by men and women is 2,000 and therefore the gap between them is narrowed. In reverse, the end of period witnessed a significant increase by 11,000 in male figure while a less marked growth to 8000 occurred in females, making the gap between them widened.  
  
A more detailed look at the graph shows that from 2011 to 2013, the number of books read by women rose slightly to around 10,000, whereas in the same time, the figure for man increased significantly, making their rate level in the year 2013. However, at the end of period, a sharp decrease by 7,000 showed in the former, while a significantly increasing trend to 14,000 was seen in the latter and therefore it successfully surpassed the women readers and reached its peak at the year.  
  
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Hi Andhika,  
  
Here some suggestions for you.  
  
Overall, the figures show an upward trend ...  
  
In 2011, the different number of books ...  
  
... 11,000 in male, figure while there was (...) occurred in females,this make the gap ...  
  
while a significant~~ly~~ increase trend to....  
  
Over all, it is about the flow and how you organize your writing so that the reader easily understand it.  
  
Good luck
**What are the candidates' plans for America's budget?**  
  
There is a different ideology between Barack Obama and one candidate of Amerika president selection. When the Barack Obama's era, they were controll the national debt and make it was a priority for Republicans. On the other hand, Democrats were less worried, and still saw the need for America to fix its long-run challenge: soaring spending on Medicare (public health insurance for the over-65s) and Social Security (public pensions).  
  
Mr Trump as a candidate of Amerika's president selection eschews spending cuts. In fact that he wants to spend more The United States of America budget on infrastructure, the army, veterans, education and child care. But he has adopted other Republican orthodoxies. He wants big tax-cuts for the rich and for firms,  
  
He believe that it would send the incomes of the top 1% of earners soaring by at least 10%. This would come at great expense: perhaps $7.2trn over a decade. In addition, Donald Trump said that tax-cuts and deregulation will boost economic growth to 3.5-4%, up from an average of 2.1% since the end of the recession, boosting the Treasury's coffers enough to pay for both lost revenues and spending increases. But that is just a fantasy. America is growing slowly for two reasons: the working-age population is shrinking, and productivity growth is low. If, as he promises, Mr Trump were to crack down on immigration and to shred trade deals, both problems would get worse, not better. For that reason, Mr Trump's fiscal policy would send the national debt soaring.
Hi mathew88, here are y reviews towards your essay  
  
1. When the Barack Obama's era, they ~~were~~ controll**ed** the national debt  
  
2. and make it ~~was~~became a priority for Republicans.  
[ rather than using was, it will be better if you use linking verb(s) ]  
  
3. In fact ~~that~~ he wants to spend more ...  
  
4. perhaps $7.2~~trn~~ turn over a decade  
  
thankyou and good luck
... between Barack Obama and ~~one candidate of Amerika president selection~~*America presidential election*. When the Barack Obama's era, they ~~were controll~~*controlled* the national debt and ~~make~~ made ~~it was~~ a priority for Republicans.  
  
... and deregulation ~~will~~*would* boost economic growth ...  
  
*Hi, honestly your writing is hard to understand. there are many grammar mistakes, and you do not express your idea clearly or what the main point of that article is. I noticed that it seems you have problem with subject+verb agreement, and the use of tenses as well as reported speech*  
  
*keep writing though*
There is an opinion that the prevention of air pollution can be reached by restricting the air travel. Regarding this issue, I stand on the line that I firmly disagree, as there are other major causes that promote the air pollution.  
  
As there are myriads of nonstop flight services every day, it is clear that this may the major contributor of air pollution. Annually, the report reveals that there is a necessity to have control the emission of this air transportation. For example, the type of boing 737 as the common use in some cases experiences the disturbance in gas emission system. As result, it produces more damage output of fuel burns. Therefore, it may consider that this will bring a number of pollution in air.  
  
However, there are also arguments that reveal if actually the other factors contribute more to the air pollution rather than the air transportation. Firstly, the research conducted by the green peace scientists found that the number one major cause to trigger this degenerative pollution is related with industrial works, as the number of company's factories increase every year progressively, it is of course in line with the result of emission that they release to the air. In addition, the second contributor is CFC or Cloro Fluoro Carbon, in which result from the use of air conditioners, refrigerators, and the other devices that we use as our daily instruments.  
  
In conclusion, even though the air travel contributes to bring pollution, the others contribute more than that. Concern with that, it is imperative to start eco-friendly lifestyle as we can save the environment.
Fascinating topic. I like your essay overall!  
  
However, I think you can have a better "hook" in your first sentence.  
  
There are several cases of typos in your essay--nothing too major, all you need is to skim over for a general revision. The syntax (sentence length, structure) is also somewhat repetitive, but that can easily be fixed!  
  
In addition, I think you can develop your conclusion more.  
  
Again, overall, good essay. Don't be discouraged!
Hi dils, here my thoughts about your essay  
  
... more damage output of **fuel burns**  
[you can use 'burnt fuel' , burn (n) : a place where fire damaged sth or a small stream , so it will be better if you rephrase it]  
  
2. a number of pollution.  
[pollution is uncountable noun. you cannot use 'a number of']  
overall, your essay is good, but be careful with word classification and collocation  
  
keep writing and goodluck
**Restriction air travel is the only way to prevent air pollution  
Do you agree or disagree?**  
  
Nowadays, many people travelled around the world faster and more easily thanks to air transportation. Many travelers are likely to choose air transportation because of their efficiency and cheap. Although air transportation is contributed to air pollution, the idea of banned air transportation is not the best solution.  
  
Those support the restriction of air travel believe that this restriction will reduce a large quantity of air pollution. According to Green peace organisation, the quantity of air pollution, produce in a single travel from New York to London takes 1,3 tonne of emission. A very large number. And around the world at least there is a 500 flight every day. Such a big air pollution will harm our world and pollution in the sky will cause acid rain. People who support the idea of air pollution restriction believe that air transportation is taking a majority of problem-related to the environment.  
  
However, there are a number of reasons why the restriction of air pollution is a bad idea. The first reason is; air pollution is the most efficient transportation compared other transportation. For example, people who take a journey from Surabaya to Jayapura with ship need at least one week to arrive at the destination. Meanwhile, with the plane it only takes 5 hours. Not only this, air transportation also transports a lot of goods from other countries. As the result, the global trade will more efficient. Finally, air transportation is the only reliable transportation in several small districts in developing countries.  
  
In conclusion, it is evidence that air transportation is the most efficient transportation and ireservable with other transportation. I hope that in the future the air travel would be eco-friendlier for the continuation of the world.
brother jojo, i will try to help you to evaluate this article  
  
Nowadays, many people travelled (traveled,but i think we use present tense for this introduction) ) around the world faster and more easily (where is the subject?) thanks to ...  
  
However, there are (is, because you talk about a number,,so it is singular) a number of reasons why ...  
... transportation compared (with/to) other transportation.  
In conclusion, it is (an) evidence that air (...) and ireservable (what does the word ireservable mean?) with other transportation.  
  
thank you
Hi yonathan, here are my review towards your essay  
  
1. ..because of their efficiency and **cheap** ..  
[ personally, you should replace this words with '**inexpensive**' ]  
  
2. ...Those**support** the restriction of air travel **believe** that...  
[ you missed conjunction here, 'Those who support the ...' or if you use **reducing avc** you should write 'those supporting the...' because you have 2 verbs **support** and **believe** ]  
  
3. ...the quantity of air pollution~~,~~thatare produced in a single travel ...  
[ no need comma, and again, you missed the conjunction, and be careful with the passive sentence or you can write the sentence using **reducing adverbial clause** "**the quantity of air pollution produced in a single...**" ]  
  
4. A very large number.  
[where are your subject and verb?]  
  
5. **And** around the world, at least there ~~is~~ are ~~a~~ 500 flights every day.[ as far as i know, conjunction *and* cannot place as the first word in the sentences ]  
  
[ you also can place your adverb 'at least' after verb. ' there are, at least, 500 flights everyday.]  
  
6. ...idea of air **pollution** restriction believe...  
[did you mean air **travel** ?]  
  
7. ... transportation compared to other transportation  
  
keep writing, goodluck
Nowadays, many people travel~~led~~ around the world faster and ~~more easily~~*easier,* thanks to air transportation.  
... of their efficiency and ~~cheap~~*low fares*.  
Those support**ing** the restriction of air ...  
... the quantity of air pollution, ~~produce~~*which is produced* in a single travel (...) to London, takes 1,3 tonne**s** of emission.  
... world at least there ~~is a~~*are* 500 flight**s** every day.  
... harm our world and ~~pollution in the sky~~*it* will cause acid rain.  
... most efficient transportation compare~~d~~**s***to*other transportation.  
... global trade will **be**more efficient.  
... efficient transportation and ~~ireservable~~*what does it mean? irreplaceable?* with other transportation.
**Restricting air travel is the only way to prevent air pollution. Do i agree or disagree?**  
  
This world has modern transportation models these days. One of those is air transportation which is commonly known by using airplane. Some people think that it causes air pollution and it should be restricted, while the others believed that air travel has not big effect in air pollution problem, so that cannot be prohibited.  
  
There are several reasons why air transportation should not be restricted. First, talking about air pollution, the airplanes use aviation fuel for their fuel. Aviation fuel is the lightest one. It is more like water from the others such as oil and gasoline, so it does not give big negative impact in pollution.  
  
An airplane flies more than 30.000 feet from the ground. That area is more clear, so people do not get the bad effect from that.  
  
The last is that factories are the biggest problem for world pollution, not only in air pollution but also in environment pollution. Building a factory should have a large area, so it is needed to cut so many trees and plants. It gives more dangerous side for all creatures. How about air pollution? When making some products, factories have to burn so many things, this burning process produces big smoke, and that is the big problem in air pollution.  
  
However, some people think that air travel activities should be reduced. The reason is because there are so many airplanes fly around the world. Although a plane produces small air pollution, it will be different when a hundred planes travel around every day. More air pollution will be occurred.  
  
In conclusion, an opinion said that restricting air transportation is the best way to reduce air damage while another opinion argues that it is not the biggest air problem so it cannot be restricted. I think that air travel is important, it will move everything faster than the other transportation models. The government should look more about factories activities. They should make so many rules for them to reduce more pollutions.
*Some people say that in the modern world it is very difficult for people to have a healthy lifestyle. Others, however, say that it is easy for people to be healthy and fit if they want to be.*  
  
In globalization period, everything has changed and transformed easier. It affects how people live their life. Most of them think that is hard to have a healthy lifestyle because of instant life. However, it should not be difficult if people struggle to be healthy. I think both of these situations can be chosen by people in recent life.  
  
Anything that people desire has provided in recent life because of development era. Nevertheless, sometimes it spoils people to follow the accessibility. I focus to explain in food as an example. Inhabitants now are easy to find any kinds of fast food shops. They can buy or eat at fast food stores when they are hungry. However, we have known that junk food has less nutrition and sometimes cause serious illness. It may be an instant food that people can choose when they do not have any options to eat, busy, and lazy to cook. Residents have a dependence with that and make it as a daily food. It makes people difficult to live healthily after getting dependence.  
  
However, it is not only a single case. People can keep their life to be healthy by struggling to live healthily, if they want to be. For instance, people can take some exercise every day with only 20 minutes a day, or put it on weekend with an hour or more. Inhabitant also can control what kinds of food they eat. Cook food by themselves and eat organic food, not junk food. Therefore, it will make their life healthy because of high nutrition food and lifestyle pattern. Nevertheless, it takes much time and high cost value that do not all people can spend their time and money.  
  
To sum up, modern life brings easy access to people, but sometimes it become a boomerang for people to get easy on eat food too, which their life will change less fit. However, people can be health by controlling their life that I think take much time and rather expensive for some people to do. Like an unknown quote, "health is expensive". 337w
Hi Nur, below are my thoughts on your essay, first of all, the tittle, it's missing a word or two; below is my suggestion;  
  
- People find it Difficult to be Healthy in the Modern World  
  
First paragraph  
  
- In this globalization period,  
- that it is hard to have a  
- healthy lifestyle because everything is almost~~of~~ instant ~~life~~ .  
- However, it should not be difficult if people ~~struggle~~strive to be healthy.  
- I think both of these situations can be ~~chosen~~an option for todays generation~~by people in recent life~~ .  
  
There you have it Nur, as you can see, there's quiet a lot of work to be done in your essay and I hope you will be able to follow through with the corrections provided, with the focus on your sentence construction.
Kevin Breel, is a person who suffering depression about 6 years. He said that many people have a misconception about depression, depression is not about sad about didn't get a job which is a natural emotion. The real depression is being sad when everything seems to be alright. And every 30 second someone commits suicide because of depression.  
  
Many people do not care about people who suffering mental illness instead of physical disease. And depression is not a kind of disease which is cured and gain absolutely health, you must spend many years to deal with depression and it is not easy. Many people think depression are cured by itself because of misconception about depression and ironically, depression is the most common mental problem but the least discussed. The first thing that people can do about depression is to vanish the silence and intolerance.
Hi Yonathan,  
  
Kevin Breel, is a person who is suffering from depression for about 6 years. ... depression is not about sad ~~about~~or~~did~~don't get a job which ...  
  
And every 30 secondS someone commits suicide ...  
... not care about people who are suffering from mental illness instead ...  
... not a kind of disease which ~~is~~can be cured and gain absolutely ...  
... misconception about depression. ~~and~~ Ironically, depression is (...) but the least to be discussed.  
... people can do about depression is ~~to vanish~~by demolishing the silence and intolerance.  
  
Hopefully it helps.
Hi Yonathan  
Here some suggestions for your writing  
  
Kevin Breel~~,~~ is a person who ... (you do not need to add comma)  
  
not about sad ~~about didn't get a job~~ of being an unemployee ...  
  
to be alright~~.~~ ,and every 30 seconds someone commits ...  
  
depression ~~are~~ is cured by itself  
  
PS : Improve your understanding about tenses  
arrange your sentences well since your summary above is still confusing  
  
Best Regard
Hi Jojo,  
  
Here some suggestions for you.  
  
Kevin Breel, ~~is~~ a person who suffering **from** depression about 6 years. ~~He said~~**stated** that many people ...  
  
depression is not about **sadness**,**it is**about didn't get a job, **and this**~~which~~ is a natural emotion.  
  
~~And~~**In** every 30 second ...  
  
~~And~~ depression is not a kind of disease ~~which is~~**be** cured ~~and~~~~gain~~**to get**absolutely health,...  
  
Good luck
**The graph and chart below give information about species extinctions and threats to plant life**.  
  
Data of decreasing number of animals and plants in tropical forests are illustrated in the line graph while threats to plant life are shown in the diagram. There are two different trends for the number of those extinctions over ten decades. Meanwhile, it is clear that human impacts have become the most dangerous threats to the plant life.  
  
In the initial year there were almost 5,000 million species of animals and plants died. This decreasing rate of those creatures has predicted to increase dramatically by 6 decades onwards and will reach a peak at 50,000 million species extinct in 2060. Fortunately, after the horrible extinctions there will be a downward trend for this figure. By 20,000 million extinctions are going to fall considerably in 2100.  
  
On the other hand, it has been proven that 81.3 % factors threaten plant life are human activities. 18.7 % of this proportion is caused by agricultural sector while harvesting is the third most hazardous aspects to plants. Besides that, natural events have 18.7 % probability to kill of the plants. It is seen only 7 % threats will be caused by natural disaster and 11.7 % may come from other natural events.  
  
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**Writing Task II ( October 31, 2016)  
  
Some people say that in the modern world it is very difficult for people to have a healthy lifestyle. Others, however, say that it is easy for people to be healthy and fit if they want to be.  
  
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.**  
  
Over time, the people's lifestyle had been changed. Technology can be the factor which affected of the people lifestyle. Nowadays, there are many tools that were invented for make people lives complete and become easier than the past. Although, there are some people feel cannot have a good lifestyle and others feel can enjoy their lives as better as if they want it by using the technology. Actually, I think both of the people issues above depend on people ways to arrange their time and activities all the days.  
  
In fact, today there are many sports equipment and gymnastic tools for people use in the home without an instructor. I think those things are very suitable for people who want to keep their fit but not have much time to take workout activities in the gym center or in outside home. Certainly, the people who work in the office can apply this way to maintenance their healthy after working in their home. So, there are not reasons for ignoring important of exercises because of the busy activity or difficult to practice it alone at home, due to every tool usually complete with CD instruction for learning how to use it.  
  
However, maybe the price of the tools is not affordable for all people. Sometimes, only who have high financial that can buy the gymnastic tools such as a threat-mile device or weight-loss equipment. But this is not the reason for people who have an average income because at present there are many gym places that provide some tools for gym activities or workout exercises with low price for uses it just usually only 5,000 to 10,000 Rupiah per hour. So, every people can freely use the tools that their needs.  
  
To sum up, actually, I think today we have more accesses to the healthy lifestyle as our habitually. All of it just depends on ourselves in how we manage our time and budget which appropriate with our necessary.  
  
(330 words)
hi..  
good writing..  
I have some suggestions..  
  
... people's lifestyle had ~~been~~[you mean that you want to make active sentence, don't you?] changed. Technology can be the [major, predominant,main] [put the adjective to modify the phrase] factor which affected[affect] [it should be present tense as it is the general truth]~~of~~[go directly to the noun phrase, you don't need "of"] the people lifestyle.  
  
... tools that were invented ~~for~~[to] make ~~people~~ [people's] lives complete and ~~become~~[it can be double verb] easier than the past. Although, there are some people ~~feel~~ [that] cannot have ...  
  
I hope it helps..
**Writing Task I ( October 31, 2016)**  
  
The chart provides information of Bulgarian people who stay in overseas after graduated for continuing their studies in 2002, 2006 and 2008. Levels of study program consist of elementary school or lower education, junior high school and senior high school degree. Overall, the Bulgarian students who had graduated from junior high school are the highest number of students who planning study abroad than other graduates degree during those time. Then, the people who graduated from primary school or lower education degree showed upward trends over those periods.  
  
Based on the chart data, it can be seen that the students of secondary education had been steadily on the top levels by average data above fifty percent even though actually had shown downward trends started 2002, 2006 and then to 2008 by 6 % lesser than in 2002. On the other hand, elementary school levels had dramatically increased started at 2002 by 18 % to 32 % in 2008. Then, the people who graduated from senior high school education had fluctuated trends which had increased in 2002 until 2006 by 3 % and then had suddenly fallen to 9 % in 2008.  
  
(192 words)  
  
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