dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
Abib, you would only get a 3 on the task accuracy score for this essay because you not only did not present the paraphrased prompt correctly in the opening statement, you also did not accurately discuss the topic of the essay. There is a big difference in the discussion of early language learning in school starting at early grades and studying languages at the earliest stages. There are no proper supporting discussions presented in the essay so it is obvious that you did not understand the requirements of the question properly. Your English comprehension skills are graded in the task accuracy and you immediately failed it. I doubt that you would get better scores in the other 3 criteria because you already failed the most important part.  
  
I suggest that you try to write a new, more prompt responsive essay based on the same prompt. When you are not sure of what the prompt is asking you to do, it won't hurt to ask someone who has better English skills than you for clarification. The practice test stage is the best time to make these mistakes so you can adjust your learning needs accordingly. In this case, you need to concentrate more on your English understanding / comprehension skills so that you can write the correct response to the question.
@linrose  
I think your essay is persuasive overall. What you need to do is to be more clarified about and separate clearly the three scenario where lying is justifiable. For example, I think white lie can also be used to describe the examples you gave in the next paragraph: lying to a child about death. After all, it is also out of kindness to keep others from hurt. So I think you should think about the categories more carefully and put your examples in a clearer framework.
@linrose  
  
You said "telling a lie to save a life is also acceptable." I agree with this, but I feel the example you gave is fraught with pitfalls.  
  
In the example that follows you wrote "For example, in a medical situation where a patient enters ... "  
  
First of all, in principle patients should not be lied to and should be given all the facts for them to make their own decisions. Survival rates are important facts that underpin important medical decisions and they should not be treated lightly. It's the doctor's duty to tell patients the truth. For the doctor to lie in order to "push the patient to fight for his life" is morally wrong, not to mention law-breaking.  
  
There may be cases where lies are acceptable, such as when operation is the only way to save the patient's life and the patient is not capable of thinking clearly. Still, in those cases, the lying should come from someone else, such as relatives, not the doctor.  
  
Another acceptable scenario is when the lie is told not during the decision process but rather when the operation is already decided and must go ahead no matter what. At this point, it's probably okay to lie if only to give the patients some hope and lift their spirits instead of having them going into surgery depressed.  
  
I believe you have this last scenario in mind when you wrote the sentence, but it's not clearly stated. It also bothers me that the survival rates could come into play here. When the patient is about to undertake a life-or-death operation, he or she should be well aware of survival chance. Lying about it now could leave the patient confused instead. ( "Don't worry, dear. Everything will be fine. You will come out okay" "But there's a good chance I may not survive --- the doctor said the survival rate is only 10%" "No, he was mistaken. It is over 80%. He just told me this morning." "...")  
  
Perhaps it's better to simply cut this out and instead add more to the second example (in the case of war), which is on solid ground and will benefit from more details.
Rose, actually, your paper is not properly representing the discussion of lies. You say that there are times when lying is justifiable, I will admit that there are situations when that is correct. The problem is, you are not properly categorizing lies in your essay. You speak of white lies only as the focus of your essay. In order to properly support your opinion, you should have used the more professional types of lies which are as follows:  
  
1. Lies of Commission - This is when someone tells something that is not a fact. This is also known as twisting the truth.  
2. Lies of Omission - Is when you leave out an important part of information. This is usually easier to tell for people because it entails only telling half the truth.  
  
Had you used the correct professional classification of lies in support of your evidence, the essay would have become more authoritative and shown that you did deeper research for this paper instead of just using the first result that turned up in a Google search.
**The bar chart below shows the estimated sales of jeans for two companies next year in Turkey.**  
  
The chart illustrates the estimated sales of jeans for two companies (Mango co. ,and Jack&Jones co.) next year in Turkey. Unites are measured in thousands of pairs per month.  
  
Overall, the total estimated sales for Jack&Jones co. are higher than those for Mango co., except for July and August where Mango co. bypasses it with a slight difference . The highest predicted sales for both companies are in December , while the lowest are in February.  
  
In the first half of the year , January is predicted to have the highest sales for Jack&Jones co. with almost 500,000 pairs in comparison with those for Mango co. with nearly 200,000 pairs. Sales are estimated to decrease for both companies next month to reach about 250,000 and nearly above 100,000 pairs ,respectively . A gradual increase for both is forecasted to reach 400,000 pairs for Jack&Jones co., and almost 300,00 pairs for Mango co. .  
  
In the second half of the year , Mango co. sales are predicted to rise and bypass those of Jack&Johns co. in both July and August with a difference less or more 100,000 pairs . Again , Jack&Johns co. will take the lead starting from September till the end of the year , with a gradual increase in November to reach 900,000 pairs in December , similarly for Mango co. sales are predicted to be steady till it will rise in December reaching approximately 600,000 pairs.  
  
would you please evaluate this essay (according to IELTS evaluation criteria )  
waiting your evaluation and your advises .  
  
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Hi Mohamed, after carefully reviewing your summary report for task, accuracy, coherence and cohesion, lexical accuracy, and grammar range and accuracy, it is my belief that you would score no higher than a 5 in all sections. This is because your essay, while informative, has problems in defining the time frame of the chart information.  
  
There is a need for you to use time reference words consistently in the essay in order to clearly depict the time frame from the chart. Then, in the first paragraph, rather than mentioning the companies in a parenthesis, you should have mentioned them as part of the actual paragraph. That is because the names of the companies are an integral part of the summary and should never be placed in a parenthetical position because that makes it seem like an afterthought. Here is an example of a better developed presentation of your opening summary:  
  
*The chart depicts the estimates sales for the upcoming year for Mango Co. and Jack& Jones Co.. Both companies deal in the sales of jeans in Turkey. The projected monthly income for both companies are presented as a comparison in the chart , measured in units of thousands of pairs per month.*  
  
The above paragraph shows a wider range of vocabulary as the words estimated sales and projected monthly income refer to a time in the future, which is the setting for the summary report. Make sure to always be consisted in your time frame references. The rest of the essay is acceptable and accomplishes the required task.
Another word of advice, I suggest that you read the online English business newspapers. Focus on the news articles relating to sales, projections, and other related information. Take note of how they present their information and what information they deem vital to their reports. Try to emulate their style in your writing because the charts, diagrams, and other information that you summarize for these report summary essays are similar in presentation and content. That should help you to develop your writing style in this area as well.  
  
You can call my attention if you need to Mohammed. I will respond when I can. Please just be patient and wait for my response because I may not always be at the computer when you post your essay. The other students and contributors will also make their own suggestions for your improvement though so make sure to consider their advice as well. I will always review your essay even if there are other reviews already there. If I do not respond in an acceptable time frame, please call my attention to it. I might not see it at once as there are multiple essays posted for review at any given time so I might not notice your work immediately.
The bar chart compares people of different ages in terms of using the Internet between 1998 and 2000.  
It is clear that the internet is popular among the 16 to 50 years old people , and over the period shown, Internet usage of the elderly and children also saw a slight increase.  
  
In 1998, the percentage of internet access is highest in the age between 16 and 30 , accounted for more than half of all users. People from 31 to 50 years old were 41% of total internet users, while the figures for people less than 15 and 50 years old or older were lower, at 2% and 4% respectively .  
  
In the last two years, the rate of younger and older rose by 6-7%. By contrast, Internet users aged 16 to 30 decreased slightly to 45% in 1999 and 44 % in 2000. A similar trend was seen in the 31 to 50-year-old people, the number of people accessing the Internet in this age fell marginally within 3 years from 41% to 37% in 2000.  
  
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*picture*
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Hi, huyentrang970423. I recommend that you revise the following sentences, as they are the hardest to read:  
  
(1) It is clear that the internet is popular among the 16 to 50 years ...  
  
(2) People from 31 to 50 years old were 41% of total internet users, ...  
  
(3) A similar trend was seen in the 31 to 50-year-old people, the number ...  
  
You may also want to pay attention to spacing. Don't insert a space between a word and a comma/period.
Huyen, the overview of the essay as well the succeeding paragraphs are not in compliance with the required minimum number of sentences, that is a minimum of 3 sentences and a maximum of 5 sentences, in order to present what would qualify as a proper summary and overall discussion information presented in this essay.  
  
There is an overall lack of expanded discussion within your essay which would result in your failing this essay test in an actual exam setting. When you do not meet the required minimum number of sentences per paragraph, you end up having a large part of your score lowered, In this instance, I believe you won't score higher than a 1 because you failed to properly develop a logical discussion for the charts presented within your essay. It is not enough to just present the information in essay form, you need to be able to at least, develop a simple discussion regarding the presented information. That is so that you can prove your comprehension and analytical skills to the examiner.  
  
You could have done that in this essay using a comparison of the figures as provided in the chart. Sometimes, simply expanding upon a discussion allows the essay to develop a more cohesive and logical presentation. Please aim to do that in your next essay. I know you can do it.
**Social dance**  
  
Camille A. Brown is a Choreographer and educator. She became speaker in TEDx in 2016 and she said that dance was language because dance express social community. In the past, dance was depicted as social community which was dealing on social activities such as , cultures, and social life, because society in the past people express their activities with dance such as farm, freedom, colonialism and more. Interestingly, each dance had own step and every step had own meaning, for instance, when people happy, freedom, and sad, they had different steps each other and had, not only that but also dance can remembered the history. Take it sample, African dance has similarities as american dance so we can say that american influenced African cultures. Present circumstances were always related in the past ;therefore every dance had own history. Nowadays, dance known as social dance and as connectivity.  
  
Source: ted
Hello akhi  
  
Camille A. Brown ~~is~~**ARE** a Choreographer and educator  
1. You mention two jobs of Camelia Brown ---> Choreographer and Educator  
  
She became**S****A** speaker ~~in~~**OF** TEDx in 2016*, (NEED COMMA HERE)* and she said (...) dance express**ES** social community  
2. BECAMES ----> She + Becames (She, He, It must be followed with VERB S )  
  
3. article 'A' for beginning.  
  
4. EXPRESSES ---> same reason with number 2  
  
... social activities such as~~,~~*(NOT NEED COMMA HERE)* cultures, and social life  
because society in the past, ~~people~~ express[b]ED[/b] their activities (...) and ~~more~~ OTHERS  
5. EXPRESSED ---> you say in the past  
  
6. OTHERS ---> you can place "more" because it kind of determiner / pronoun / adverb, so must be followed with adjective or other words  
  
Take ~~it sample~~**an example**  
7. Use that because it appropriate collocations.  
  
we can say that american **WAS** influenced **BY** African cultures.  
8. Watch carefully about passive tense.  
  
Keep hard work !
## **To find work you love, don't follow your passion**

  
  
After a research conducted, it revealed that the number of people who followed their passion for choosing an occupation has increased simultaneously. Although some argue that passion will lead to being success, the study reveals that following fervor results with 90 percent will be failed and it was known that personal interest cannot be a predominant reason to choose an occupation. However, current scholars concluded that "altruism" is an essential basis to select your career. It helps scholars to discover the purpose of life by doing a valuable activity to present superior world for all citizens.  
  
source: youtube
HI Lincoln, here's another one from my end.  
  
- To find a work you love, don't ...  
  
- ~~After a research conducted, it~~A research conducted recently, revealed that the number of  
- will lead to being successful ,  
- percent ~~will be~~ failed and  
- it ~~was~~is known that personal interest  
  
There you have it Lincoln, there's not much to look into or to modify in this particular summary essay, however, for future writing reference, mind the logical content of the essay, don't go behind the idea, you have to go in sequence, this will ensure that you are able to summarize the essay in a way that the events are logically explained, therefore it will be more comprehensive.  
  
I hope to review more of your essays soon and keep writing.
***Modern technology is changing our world. This has advantages such as bringing people closer together through communication. It also has disadvantages such as destroying the differences between cultures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?***  
  
There are many effects of modern technology in recent year and it influence of changes especially that happened in human lives. Some people say that the advantages that bring it can make people closer together through communication. Others state that it can destroy different culture. This essay will state that totally agree that modern technology can make people relationship better especially in communication.  
  
Relationship between people such as friendship is needed a good communication. The modern technology such as cell phone and all its features can influence people to communicate in far distance. For example, more than 30% teenagers in Indonesia use hand phone to contact their friend and it can make they keep in touch because they can ask about their activities each other. So, it is important to improve interpersonal communication that useful for them.  
  
On the other hand, there are drawbacks of cellular usage in these days, because it can reduce meeting or gathering time and destroying culture because of the differences. This matter give disadvantages for teenagers because they can less contact with their family and friend in direct communication. For example, secondary-high school pupils in USA as much as 41% witnessed lost of friend because they use face book to look for new friends that they didn't know who they are personally. Unfortunately, they became far away with their friends, so that it can harmful to culture and relationship among they with their parent or friend.  
  
To sum up, modern technology usage can bring benefits and drawbacks. In my opinion, i totally agree that modern technology can bring people closer together through communication, but it can harmful to culture that it can change because the differences of culture and behaviour from people various places. (288w)
**Toefl - Countries should not isolate themselves from world but instead engage other countries.**  
  
The world has become even more connected due to globalization of people and products. Nowadays, there is no country that can provide all goods and services to its population living by itself. Thus, I believe that countries have to engage other countries to reach a common welfare, which is better than isolating themselves.  
  
First reason is that countries are unique and each one of them has its strengths and weakness. Some are privileged by having a good climate to agriculture, others have more minerals inputs and some have more advanced technology for telecommunications, for example. These countries can trade to others what they have mastered in exchange of what they miss. Brazil for example, is a great wheat producer and sells it to China. On the other hand, China is world's biggest iron producer and sells it to Brazil. None of the countries would be able to produce the necessary amount of goods they import. The trade is beneficial for both countries.  
  
Another reason to countries to engage is to face global issues as global warming or epidemics in a cooperative manner. To get the practical results they must act as one and work together. For example, if most part of the countries decide to implement norms to reduce the global warming, there will not be practical results if the greatest responsible for it do not agree on reducing its contribution. In addition, the others can feel compelled to not be part of this effort as well, since the biggest contributor will not cooperate. To get results on global issues they must act together.  
  
For these reasons I believe that countries instead of isolating themselves must do efforts to work together. They can help each other exporting products they have in excess and importing the ones they lack the knowledge or the inputs to manufacture. Also, when they embrace global issues unified they have better outcomes than if they were working by themselves.
**The table below gives information about changes in modes of travel in England between 1985 and 2000**  
  
The changes of median distance per a person, measured in miles in England for 1985 to 2000 are shown in the table. Overall, it can be seen that the majority of kinds of transportation using fuel increased while the car was transportation modes used with the largest distance.  
  
Between 1985 and 2000, the average number of distance travelling foot and bicycle decreased steadily from 256 to 237 and 51 to 41 respectively, while the number of local bus fell almost a half of the number in the beginning of the period. In contrast, the trend for local distance bus grew almost one hundred percent. Car, which is the transportation used to travel in the largest distance, increased by almost 1600 while taxi only grew by around 30.  
  
The number of train and other transportations increased steadily. The former grew from 239 to 366 while the latter jumped to 585. Furthermore, the average length of all modes of transportations inclined remarkably from 4740 in 1980 to 6475 in the end of the period.  
  
(172 Words)  
  
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Hi Ivan, below are my thoughts on your analysis.  
  
- in miles in England for 1985 to 2000 ~~are~~is shown  
- ~~of kinds~~ of transportation using fuel increased  
- while ~~the~~ cars~~was transportation modes used with~~travelled the largest distance.  
  
- ~~travelling~~traveled by foot and bicycle  
- while the number of local buses fell almost  
- ~~a~~ half of the number in the beginning of the period.  
- ~~In contrast~~On the contrary , the trend for  
- Cars , which is the transportation  
- almost 1600 ~~while taxi~~and taxi's only grew by around 30% .  
  
There you have it Ivan, as I go through the essay, I was looking for the uniformity of your unit of measurement and should you use percentage, you can either go for the symbol or the word itself which can work in both ways but you can present the analysis better if it has uniform symbol.
**Personal financial senior high school.**  
  
Tanvee patankar is TEDx speaker she become speaker in 2016 and she said that personal finance for teens was incredible important because teens need arrange and they should learn about budgeting money and how to deal with it. Recently, financial management issue is the huge problem in particular in juvenile. It is mainly because teenager is build period in all of life aspects. Although it is not compulsory but financial management will teach teenager how to manage their money in the future. This is will easiest when children start learn how to manage financial since senior high school because in this period people problem not complicated ye,t so children have big chance to learn in this part. In addition, when people fail to learn financial management, they will vulnerable from financial crash in the future, because they will face global market which get rid of every one who cannot survive.  
  
source: TEDx