dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
## 'a refreshing breath'

  
  
In recent years, when the film industry is full of mind-numbing flicks with no creativity of school love stories, "Flipped" is a refreshing breath like one of the glourious fall days that will make you remember the first time falling in love.  
  
Based on the original novel by Wendelin Van Draanen, "Flipped" is a thought-provoking story of a Junior High boy and girl in the early 60s. It is abouy 8 years in the lives of two kids who meet when one of them moves into a new neighborhood. Juli is instantly smitten by Bryce right from the second time she sees him drive up to his new house. Bryce, being a typical second grader, finds her attention embarrassing and appalling. Though disappointed by Bryce's unwillingness to see things her way, Juli continues to give her potential dreamboat to pursue him for eternity without drawing closer. Eventually, in the touching finale, Bryce finds himself on the other side of the equation and has to win back the girl whom he used to be indifferent to.  
  
That the film's story is set in the 60s is probably a rational decision of the director Rob Reiner. He creates a nostalgic atmosphere to the movie with the mid-20th-century romantic soundtrack Let it be me and stunning scenes, for example, an idyllic village or a peaceful school environment, all of which reminds viewers of a tranquil childhood. As we watch the characters grow up, we become more involved in the intricacies and challenges that their families face. Indeed, the feeling that "Flipped" evokes is hard to put into words, which is best felt from heart.  
  
Additionally, the cast is absolutely remarkable as two main free-spirited actors Madeline Carroll along with Callan McAuliffe fervently perform in their roles and their own surroundings. The chemistry between them is average when Juli realizes that Bryce has redeemed himself, she still holds his hands despite having been opposite in all sense.  
  
With this review, "Flipped" might be evaluated as a cliché scenario that is only appropriate for teenagers. However, it is a movie for adults. "Flipped" is reminiscent of, for adults to return to childhood, the innocence and bewilderment of early life vibrations. The film is not a genre of drama or hot love as seen in Hollywood movies, but I flip for Flipped as it has left me with lots of impressions.  
  
P/S: I'd love to recieve your sincere comment and feedback. Thank you in advance for supporting me.
This is one confusing movie review. Your tone is choppy, there is no central theme to the review, no story backgrounder, no character development targets, no story analysis regarding sub-stories and main stories. No character comparisons, no reference to the cinematography, the list of the no's for this review just go on and on and on. This is a review that was created not by watching the movie. It was created by your reading and paraphrasing the reviews of other people who had seen the movie already either on Rotten Tomatoes or iMDB. You have learned how to paraphrase other people's words, you have not learned to write what you actually thought of the movie.  
  
A movie review is based on the following:  
- An overview of the story (based on a novel, play, etc)  
- A character analysis of the main protagonists  
- A description of the setting in relation to character development. Why is the setting important to the character? How does the setting and music help move the story forward?  
  
- A review of the directors approach to acting, camera angles, basic cinematography  
- A comparison of the differences between the book and the movie  
- What makes the movie successful and the book an inferior version or vice versa  
- A recommendation regarding watching or skipping the movie  
  
Your movie review is choppy in presentation because you did not properly direct the essay you were writing. There was no ultimate goal for the writing. You reviewed the work of other people and tried to copy the writing style of others. Which is why your presentation is uneven and wandering in focus. Next time, you need to actually watch the movie and write what you think of it using academic presentation requirements. You need to remember that you are practicing to write for an academic setting. So the Rotten Tomatoes and iMDB approach to movie reviews, as written by their members, does not apply.
Hello guys, I am a newbie here and standing in the first step for IELTS. Please help me check my essay. Thanks a lot.  
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## **The production level of main fuels in a European country**

  
  
The line chart depicts fuel production in an unnamed European country in the last two decades of the 20th century.  
  
Overall, petroleum dominated in the amount of mix fuel throughout the survey. Coal production dwindled noticeably, while natural gas increase after a long time of stagnation.  
  
In the 80s, producing coal experiences a downward trend after a peak of 80 tons. In 1988 particularly, it decreased in half (around 50 tons). However, natural gas production still maintained constantly at 40tons. Producing petroleum witnessed 30% rise at the beginning, afterward maintaining this level in a few years  
  
Since 1990, petroleum production had dropped to the original level (about 100 tons) in 1992 and then recovered significantly to 130 tons in 1996 before falling again. Conversely, coal production dipped slightly and reach a new low at 43tons in 2000. By contrast, natural gas production hit the highest new record (approximately 85 tons) in the end of the survey.  
  
(156 words)
Since you did not post the image that goes with this data report, your essay cannot be reviewed for information accuracy. Only a general statement or review, based on the current writing can be completed.  
  
(WARNING! STUDENTS / USERS CANNOT POST IMAGES OMITTED IN THE ORIGINAL UPLOAD OF THE OP! DO SO AT YOUR OWN RISK!)  
  
I am sure that the original image indicated what specific last 2 decades of the 20th century the measurements were based on. You should have indicated it so that the reader, who does not have a copy of the image will be well informed as to the basis of the information you will be presenting. The summary overview needs to be better completed. It lacks overall general information about the image.  
  
You have not written enough words to achieve a moderately better scoring potential. You should aim to write 175-190 words for this task. That will show that you have properly analyzed the information and also done comparison discussions as applicable to the essay. With this type of word count, it may be possible that you will fall short of the 5 band score minimum.
**Task 2:  
*Nowadays, it seems that people tend to waste a great amount of food.*  
## Why do you think this is happening? And how can we solve this problem?**  
  
In recent years, the prevalence of food wasted has been an increasing concern due to its substantial impact on human life as well as the environment. To put a halt to this situation, this essay will initially attempt to pinpoint the causes for food waste and subsequently offer some actionable solutions.  
  
There are two underlying explanations for the tendency towards wasting food nowadays. One of the reasons is that food is more straightforward to afford. Since the average income as well as food productivity increases, affording food daily no longer imposes a burden on most families. The second reason for food squandering can be attributable to the mass fear of food-poisoning. In fact, a myriad of families tend to dispose food before the expiry date while it is completely edible.  
  
Nevertheless, there are also a number of solutions to alleviate this issue. Firstly, people could voluntarily aid in food-rescue organizations. These organizations are set up to reduce the food wastage resulting from pre-expiry date disposal in big supermarkets by collecting them and giving out to the underprivileged. Secondly, the government could publish policies to ensure the quality of food on the market. By this way, faulty food would no longer be a concern for people.  
  
In conclusion, affordability and mass misconception about food poisoning are two main factors attributed to large amount of food squandered. To mitigate these, it is recommended that food-rescue organizations be assisted . Furthermore, governors could ensure food safety by publishing reasonable policies.
Hello @xtunx, I saw that you gave feedbacks for my essay once so I think I should pay back the debt of gratitude here =))))  
  
I believe that you should refrain from using complicated words to explain the reason and propose sollutions in this essay, because this can make the essay quite difficult to be understood. But for some parts, the use of vocabulary and collocation is faulty, for example:  
  
*One of the reasons is that food is more straightforward to afford...*  
  
I don't think there is any collocations or fixed phrases that look like that. Instead, it can be simplified into:  
  
*One of the reasons for food waste is that food has become more affordable...*  
  
Also, in this paragraph, the first reasoning is not sufficiently developed. You said that food has become more affordable recently due to increase of "average income" and "food productivity", but you made no link between this and the waste of food in the recent years. You can further develop this argument by saying that because it is so easy to buy food nowadays, many people has forgot about saving food for rainy days and decide to throw away the leftovers from their meals. Here is my suggestion:  
  
*One of the reasons for food waste is that food has become more affordable, which subsequently can lower the awareness of saving food. In an era when average income and food productivity has been raised significantly due to economic development, affording food for the daily need has become less of a burden in families. However, because it is not so difficult to purchase food as in the past, people are likely to ignore saving some for rainy days and develop the habit of disposing food after daily meals. As a result, they have already accumulated a great amount of leftovers, causing the food waste on a global scale.*
This is the first time that I have writen a text for task 2. I hope to receive advice from everyone of how to express ideas or what new ideas that I can use in addition. Thank you.  
  
## The effective ways for entertainment

  
  
In modern life, cultural activities help us relax from stress and hard-working hours. Music makes us feel comfortable, and we can learn a lot about history or culture of many parts of the world through songs. Meanwhile, movie makers take inspiration from real life and make them more interesting. In addition, watching movies at theatre brings you interesting experiences: you can smile or cry with strangers. Therefore, going to theatre is also an effective way for entertainment.  
  
In other side, playing sports also have advantages that we can't deny. You can keep fit and improve your health by playing sports such as: swimming, playing football or any other sport activities else. You can improve your teamwork skills, too. Furthermore, paying for sport costs you less than for going to a concert or movie theatre. Therefore, how to spend your time on cultural activities or sport is based on your ability of money and your free time. The best choice is to have a balance of both these activities, because it will help you have not only a healthy body but also a beautiful mind.
If you were to pass this essay in the actual test, it would get a failing score. Since you did not write 250 words, the essay will automatically fail to achieve a passing task requirement score and, based on additional errors, the overall score cannot reach the minimum 5 band mark. What you wrote are only 2 reasoning paragraphs. You are missing the prompt restatement as the first paragraph and the reverse paraphrase, which is the closing paragraph. If you had written the missing paragraphs, you probably would have met the minimum word count.  
  
This essay cannot be appropriately scored nor reviewed. It does not reflect your actual writing abilities and, because of the lacking word count, I cannot properly assess all 4 scoring criteria for your essay. As of now, I will consider this a first timer's essay writing exercise. I will wait for your second essay on a different topic that meets the minimum word count. I will review that work instead. Here is a tip, aim to write 275-290 words. You will always receive maximum scoring consideration in all aspects when you write the appropriate number of words, and if you do some self-editing within the 40 minute time allowance.
Firstly, I'd like to say that if you're required to write an essay in IELTS part, you lack edaquate word-counted.  
Secondly,the stucture of the essay should include : introduction, body and conclusion part; therefore, your essay seem illogical.  
Thirdly, when you mention entertaining activities or sports that help us relax, you need transitional words such as: for example, as can be observed, etc... and then clarify your points. Please write in the full form of the word, not use "isn't/there's...."  
  
Finally, write your essay in the third subject, not "I" and give neutral viewpoint.
## traditional way of catching news and reading

  
  
In the digital age, we can easily access to all the resources on the internet, which is a huge convenience. And it is conspicuous that people are getting in the habit of electronic books. Therefore, some individuals doubt that the traditional way of catching news, broadening horizons, or simply enjoying a good book will die out. I do not acquiesce in the argument for a few reasons below.  
  
To begin with, I firmly believe that people are currently devoting most of their time working in front of the computer screen. Hence, the printed words will be the escape for such extensive intensity. Besides, the prolonged exposure to these digital devices will take a heavy toll on our eyes in the long term. If we stare at the screen for long hours on a daily basis, our eyes will start to be sore and painful. In the second place, who can really miss out the smell of new books, the movement of turning the pages and also the author's signature, which is featured. We can also purchase a good book and give it to our dearest friend as a meaningful present. Finally, I am sure that some of us are keen on collecting novels, magazines, and special editions. That is why we have shelves in some corners of our house where we can stay peaceful and refresh our souls. Needless to say that we cannot put the encoded materials anywhere but our technological equipment.  
  
To flip the coin, the modern way of relishing reading is truly a time-saver. As we do not have to go out to the bookstores to buy a book and sometimes it is out of stock. By only a few clicks or taps, it gives way to a whole electronic library where we can find all the references we are craving for. Furthermore, e-books do not cost as much as the tangible ones.  
  
All in all, I still prefer the old method of approaching information to the state-of-the-art one. And I deem that the footage of paper-made media will never vanish from our daily life.
Your prompt paraphrase is too far from the original material to qualify as a proper paraphrase. Let's put it this way, it would have been better if you had framed the original prompt as:  
  
*With the recent development in technology like e-books some people feel that the printed media like books, newspapers and magazine will soon be a thing of the past. Others feel that those forms of media will never disappear. I find it difficult to acquiesce with these ideas. This is because of the health considerations related to computer based reading materials and the desire of some people to still feel the printed pages as they read, while smelling the ink off the page.*  
  
Remember, in a straightforward opinion essay, you need to outline your discussion points at the start. In this case, mentioning the actual 2 topic sentences would have increased your TA presentation adherence, boosting your overall score in the process.  
  
Had you used just 2 fully explained discussion topics as illustrated in the above outline, your essay would have been better represented. The discussion topic, focusing on only 1 topic per paragraph for full explanation, would have been seen as a better explanation and more format adherent. It would have also shown that you can create cohesive discussions by using 2 related topics to make your point in the explanation. Your current essay tends to be over discussed but very little developed in terms of explanation because you focused only on giving reasons, but not explaining the reasons properly. That is why you are limited to 2 topic sentences per paragraph for the standard essays and 3 topics per paragraph for the compare and contrast with personal opinion essays.  
  
Please remember, you cannot start a sentence with the word And. That is a connecting word which requires a previous sentence idea presentation to be developed prior to the presentation of a connected idea in the last part of the sentence.
@nguyenluuphuchao  
Your essay is lacking example.  
**First**, you suppose that *the prolonged exposure to these digital devices will take a heavy toll on our eyes in the long term* but you have not given any specific figures or statistics according to a health agency.  
  
**Second**, you argued that *e-books do not cost as much as the tangible ones*. Why? In fact, I still find some books sold at bookstores for just $1, while sold online is more expensive than those for a few reasons.
## communication between employees in different levels of the hierarchy in a company

  
  
In most successful companies, some people think that communication between employers and workers is the most important factor. Other people say that other factors are more important.  
  
Discuss both views and give your opinion.  
  
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These days, it is believed that communication between the high and low hierarchical levels is of the most paramount importance factor of corporations' success. However, some argue that there are other contributing factors that determine the success of corporations. This essay will shed light on both points of view and present my own position.  
  
Undoubtedly effective communication plays a crucial role in companies. In fact, frequent communication fosters strong relationships with the staff and the managers, thereby comprehending each other. Additionally, or maybe as a result, this can enhance employee motivation since they may be satisfied with their work. Nevertheless, when a decision is made by managers, if the workers misinterpret this decision, the consequences of faulty products or lower productivity could be occurring. Therefore, successful communication can not only reduce pressure at work but also boost productivity, which is one of the most necessary factors that contribute to companies thrive.  
  
However, there are other factors are significant in order to build a company's success, some of which include recruiting the best people and developing effective strategies. Firstly, when companies require and retain great employees, this may give them a competitive edge over their competitors. Another critical criterion of a successful company is that long-term strategies are well-devised by the manager. This may enable the company to develop since these strategic plannings make organizational goals and objectively real. Thus, this empowers both the managers and employees to generate their necessary motivation to achieve the sole aim; hence, this promotes the growth of the company.  
  
In conclusion, communication between different levels of the hierarchy in a company is an important element that may lead to the company's success. Nevertheless, there are more significant factors for an organization to thrive in today's market, including staff recruitment and planning a viable strategy.
When writing comparison with personal opinion essays, the exam taker must take note of the way the opinions are presented in the original discussion. These always make reference to the public point of view. As such, when the discussion instructs the exam taker to "discuss both points of view and give a personal opinion", the points of view referred to are the public points of view and as such, need to referred to in the public POV manner in the 2 separate discussion paragraphs in the body of paragraphs, prior to the discussion of a personal opinion.  
  
A personal opinion cannot be used to discuss both points of view in the discussion as the reference point in the original discussion is "public". For reference, the following keywords indicate the public point of view discussion paragraphs:  
  
some people think ...  
Other people say...  
  
Some, and other refer to the public points of view and as such, references to the public opinion must be made in the essay. Otherwise, it just becomes an overall personal point of view essay, which means the response is only partially correct and will be scored as such. Don't get me wrong, the essay has well developed discussion reasons, although with somewhat imperfect grammar. The only problem, was the lack of proper reference points in the discussion, as indicated above. If you will just learn to refer to the public POV before you write your personal opinion, the essay will be even better.  
  
The discussion points are well developed, exemplified, and supported in the discussion. So you did those things well and will receive good marks for it. What will lower the points, is the lack of clarity as to who is discussing what in the paragraph. Considering the presentation format you used, it does appear to be a personal opinion all around. Hence the points deductions.  
  
The conclusion needs a closing sentence. Otherwise, it is a good summary presentation of the overall discussion.
@lovewriting  
You might consider the alternative:  
1) *... and present my ~~**own**~~ position.* (the word "**own**" seemed to create a tautology.)  
  
2) *Additionally, or maybe**,** as a result...* (It appears that you are missing a comma or two with the interrupter ***as a result***. Consider adding the comma(s). You can find example at url: merriam-webster.com/dictionary/as%20a%20result)