dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
Writing TASK 1 practice for Cambridge 8 - Test 3  
  
**The diagram below shows the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.**  
  
The diagrams present the stages to produce cement including the equipment needed and the composition of the cement for building purposes. As seen, there are four steps of cement-making process; crusher, mixer, heater, and grinder. Furthermore, cement is one of the important compositions to produce concrete.  
  
The process of making cement is begun with crushing the basic materials; limestone and clay. After that the powder consisting of those materials are mixed in an automated machine. The third step is heating the mixed material in a rotating heater. If the heating process completes, the material is poured into another machine that will grind it into the cement. Finally, cement is packed in bags and then ready to sell.  
  
In the construction industries, cement in certain proportion is used to produce concrete. The composition of concrete consists of 50 % small stones, 25 % sand, 15 % cement, and only 10% water. All of these ingredients are mixed together in a concrete mixer.  
  
*
Hi, I think you did a good job in describing the diagrams - here are some specific suggestions:  
  
... stages [in producing] {or "required to produce"} cement  
  
... four steps of [the] cement-making process; crusher, ... {it seems like the steps would be "crushing, mixing, heating, and grinding"}  
  
... the important [ingredients used] to produce concrete. {this last sentence did not seem integrated into the rest. I would have stated that there are two diagrams, with the left as you have described above, and the right showing the process used to make concrete"}  
  
The process of making cement is begun {I would use active voice - "process begins with"} with  
  
...those materials [is] mixed in an automated machine.  
  
... heater. [Once] the heating process [is complete], the material ... that will grind it into the cement. {I would stick with present tense here to be consistent} Finally, cement is packed in bags and ~~then~~ ready to sell.  
  
In the ... concrete. {this sounds a bit odd to me - why not start out by saying "The production of concrete uses four basic ingredients in specific proportions"}
TASK 1  
  
**The diagrams below show the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes.  
  
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.**  
  
These diagrams illustrate about the process of making cement first and a visual explanation to concrete production as building purpose.  
  
The first step, it introduces limestone clay. Then, all materials pass through a crusher which brings into being a powder. Next, the powder goes to a mixer, to be continue that the product passes to a rotating heater which works with heat. After that, the mixture moves to a ginder where the cement comes out. The last is cement is packed in bag, and those are ready to sell.  
  
The second diagram, there are fourth process to be grouping the concrete manufacture. The process begins with a combination of 15 per cent cement, 10 per cent water, 25 per cent and sand 50 per cent gravel, finally all of elements should to mix to get substantial of result, and ready to use.  
  
*
The unresponsible processing paper industry can cause negative impact of environment. However, this case is not viral in our society. The impact of this situation is able to be bad effect as well as pollution, extinction, and global warming. This circumstance is spreading into the big continent; Central Africa, Southeast Asia, South America to the North forest of Canada and Scandinivia. The all sector of habitat is going to disappear due to ilegal logging. Various creature life both terrestrial and aquatic are going to be extinct.  
  
Trees are essential for animals and environment. They protect huge type of animals that live in surface rainforest like insects, worms, reptiles, amphibian, and so on. Trees also can hold in order to prevent heavy rainfall into the soil indirectly. the root of trees have crucial function for preventing the erosion. In majority, the most reason that cause of soil damaging is road building. The logging can also harm aquatic habitats.  
  
In addition, The extinction of trees trigger to decline percentage of oxygen in the water. It is able to reduce the population of fish and life aquatic. The air pollution could be filtered by natural filter like trees. They absorb the carbon dioxide from the atmosphere and produce the oxygen. Felling down the trees disappeare the crucial role in the nature. Then, Removing of huge tons of trees in the nature can occur the disaster like flooding, wilderness fires, and climate change.  
  
In sum up, natural wilderness should be preservation and to legacy for the next generation due to the fact that forest is the vital area to prevent disaster.
hello Saolo  
  
... industry can cause the negative impact ~~of~~towards environment.  
~~The impact of~~but this situation is able to be bad effects as well as pollution...  
This circumstance ~~is~~has been spreading into the big continent...  
The all sector of habitats is going to disappear due to ill egal logging.  
  
... animals and environment~~.~~because they protect huge type ...  
T he root of trees ha~~ve~~s crucial function for ...  
~~In majority, t~~T he most reason of it that it causes of soil damaging ~~is~~ road building. The illegal logging can also harm aquatic in habitats.
Logging industry have had a great impact to the environment as well as terrestrial and aquatic. It has caused a pollution both land and water, climate changed, and it also damaged the animals and plants habitat which has made them becoming vulnerability.  
  
The removal of all trees from a large area has bothered the soil that can affect to all species which has relied on forest. Moreover, Forests have myriad of animals and trees that can maintain and inhibit the soil from erosion which was very helpful to trees growth. In addition, Trees supply the natural protection that can fight the pollution which can generate oxygen and absorb the carbon dioxide in the atmosphere. Aside from that trees or plants which lived along the edge of river can stabilize the water flow and decrease the sedimentation.  
  
At last, Forests are essential natural resource and are valuable habitats for wildlife. Removing the trees wipe out the merits and will causes a catastrophe to earth.
Hi Abu!  
  
Logging industry ~~have~~**has** had a great impact to the ...  
It has caused ~~a~~ pollution both **in** land and water, climate change~~d~~ , and it also (...) habitat which ~~has~~ made them ~~becoming~~ vulnerability.  
... has bothered the soil ~~that~~**which** can affect ~~to~~ all species which has ...  
  
Aside from that trees or plants which lived along the edge of river ... ( **I think this sentence is not complete, it is difficult for me to understand the meaning)**.  
  
... natural resource and ~~are~~ valuable habitats for wildlife. Removing the trees wipe**s** out the merits and ~~will~~ causes a catastrophe to earth.  
  
Note :  
I appreciate in which you try to develop your idea in a complex sentence.  
But, in some part, I just do not understand the meaning.  
Hopefully, you can change it into a better sentence. Good luck!
Some people assume that the present is hardly getting involved in the history, so learning about the past is not important. In this essay, I am going to give several reasons of studying this subject along with some problems emerge if it is not taught at school.  
  
In my opinion, there are two main reasons requiring us to know about history. First of all, when the young are reminded of majestic events in the past, their patriotism can be stimulated. For example, after searching information on history to prepare for a presentation at school, my sister now becomes more proud of her country. Moreover, commemorating the past through lessons enables children to gain a reservoir of knowledge and experiences.  
  
If students are not educated history, there will be some negative effects on themselves as well as the society. Without knowing history, the new generation may gradually become ungrateful and neglectful. Besides, the national security and defence will be put in jeopardy due to children lacking historic comprehension. Specifically, a recent magazine has indicated that a country can not survive without being loved by its people.  
  
In conclusion, studying the past plays an important role in nations' existence, as a result, it is crucial for youngsters to learn of. I advocate that the goverment should take more measures to generalize history to the young in particular and the publicity in general.
Hi Halin!  
  
... so learning about the past is not **(you can use : less important** important.  
First of all, when ~~the young~~**youngsters** are reminded of majestic events ...  
For example, after searching information ~~on~~**in** history to prepare ~~for a presentation at school~~**a school presentation**, my sister ~~now~~ becomes more ...  
... lessons enables children **especially student** to gain a reservoir of ...  
Besides, the national security and ~~defence~~**defense** will be put in jeopardy due ...  
II advocate that the ~~goverment~~**govenment** should take more measures ...  
  
Note :  
  
I think you did a great job with your summary, Halin.  
The sentence is well-written, and you used simple word although it quite complexes.  
I like reading your summary! :)
Hai Halin!  
  
... two main reasons ~~requiring~~which are requiring us to know about history. First of all, when the young people/ youngters[**choose one**] are reminded of majestic ...  
  
If students are not educated by the history, there will ...  
... in jeopardy due to children lacking of~~historic~~historical comprehension.  
... plays an important role ~~in~~to~~nations' existence~~the existence of nations~~,~~.**[use dot]**~~as~~ As a result, it is crucial ...  
... to generalize history to the young people/ youngters in particular and ...  
  
Note  
I think your essay is well-written and well-structured, started from Introduction, Overview, Body and Conclusion.  
I think you did a great job Halin!  
Hope this would help you.
**Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems.  
To what extend do you agree or disagree?  
What other measures do you think might be effective?**  
  
Traffic congestion and its pollution are the big problems in the city. Some people believe that it can be solved by inclining the price of petrol. I disagree with this statement. I think, the best solution to this problem is raising the tax of the private car.  
  
In the capital city, the citizens compete to have their private car. As the consequence, traffic congestion and its pollution are growing rapidly. To reduce this tendency, the government of New York increased the price of petrol. According to the America Today Newspaper in 2012, stated that raising the cost of petrol was not effective in New York. It just reduced below 3 percent of utilizing private car. The wealthy class could reach the new price of petrol. The inhabitants did not leave their car to use the public transportation. However, improving the car tax is the best way to terminate congestion and pollution.  
  
The increasing of private car tax became twice than the first tax makes the car owner complicated. It is because they have to expend much money on it while their other necessity also required money. As the result, they will move to use public transportation and sell their car. The volume of vehicle in main road of the city declines automatically. It happened in Singapore, five years ago. A research which conducted by National University of Singapore stated that improving the tax of private car became twice had already diminished 34 percent of traffic jam there.  
  
In conclusion, increasing the cost of petrol is not really effective to reduce the traffic congestion and its pollution in the capital city. To solve this problem effectively, it can be carried out by raising the tax of private car. It can be a suggestion to the government in order to solve this problem.
Hi Hirani,  
  
Here's my feedback for you:  
  
**First Paragraph**  
- Some people believe that it can be solved by ~~inclining~~increasing the price of petrol.  
  
**Second Paragraph**  
- ~~As the consequence~~In consequence , traffic congestion and its ...  
- ... Newspaper in 2012, ~~stated that~~ raising the cost of petrol ...  
- ~~It~~The policy just reduced below 3 percent of ~~utilizing~~ private car ownership .  
- ~~The wealthy class~~Upper class societystill could ~~reach~~pay the new price of petrol.  
- ~~The inhabitants~~People did not leave their car ...  
- However, improving the car tax is the best way to terminate congestion and pollution. --> put it as opening sentence of third paragraph  
  
**Third Paragraph**  
- ~~The increasing of private car tax became twice ...~~By doubling private car tax, car ownership will be more complicated.  
- ... they have to expend ~~much~~more money ~~on it~~for the car while ~~their other necessity also required money~~meeting their basic needs .  
- A research ~~which~~ conducted by (...) stated that ~~improving~~doubling the tax of private car ~~became twice~~~~had already diminished~~led to 34 percent drop of traffic jam there.  
  
May it help you. Good luck.
**Paraphrasing reading passage - Bird Migration**  
  
In the rest of the year, birds regularly do a movement to their breeding ground and the areas that they inhabit which is known as migration. This kind of activity is the great samples of how nature affects the biological command for species to maintain their population for breeding and growing.  
  
Bird migration generally travels to the higher latitude for breeding during the warm weather and then returning to the lower latitude during the non-breeding phase. However, the bird opt places that suitable for nesting and feeding their young. Northern Hemisphere is the common areas that take place for migratory bird, only species of seabird breeds to Sothern Hemisphere.  
  
Most of bird species are also trans-equatorial that live in Northern Hemisphere for breeding season and in Southern Hemisphere for the rest of the year. Arctic tern is the popular example which has trans-equatorial migration. They travel about 24,000 miles a year during the migration that breed in the arctic region and winter in Antarctic waters.  
  
For other species, such as grouse like ptarmigan, do not migrate for long distance. They just spend the breeding season in the higher geometrical, near by the top of mountain, while the non-breeding season is spent in the lower areas of valleys.  
  
At any period of migration, most birds fly for about six to eight hours a day. On the other hand, some birds wile away for much hours because they have to cross the long distance of geographic features such as desert, ocean, and mountain. For instance, a travel of many special those pass through the Gulf of Mexico required twenty-four to thirty-six hours or longer because the spacing is over 1,000 miles. In addition, the bar-tailed godwit is well-known for their extreme trip which have continuous flight non-stop over 11,000 miles from Alaska to New Zealand each year.  
  
The way of bird in control to appropriate journey is one feature that has charming observers for centuries. Nowadays experts endeavor to detect this perfect. Most research have found that all migratory bird are able to investigate and inborn in specific direction.
Hi Ucha!  
  
This kind of activity is ~~the~~**a** great ~~samples~~**examples** of how nature affects (...) for breeding and growing **up**.  
  
... the common areas ~~that~~**where** take place for migratory (...) breeds to ~~Sothern~~**Southern** Hemisphere.  
  
Most of bird species are ~~also~~ trans-equatorial that ...  
  
For other species, such ~~as~~**a** grouse like ptarmigan...  
... in the higher geometrical **area**, near by the top of mountain,..  
  
... birds wile away for ~~much~~**more** hours because they have to cross ~~the~~ long distance of ...  
For instance, ~~a travel of many special those~~**I do not understand the phrase** pass through (...) because the ~~spacing~~**space** is over 1,000 miles.  
  
The way of bird ~~in control to~~**controlling an** appropriate journey ...  
  
Note :  
Ocha, I think you need to add the original article, so I can compare both of your summarize and the original one.  
Despite that, your sentences are great and well-purpose, so I can easily understand the conclusion.  
Keep the pace!
**Asignment- Environmental Impacts of Logging**  
  
The logging industry supplied the raw material for many commercial products. It brings harm to the ecosystem. The damage causes habit loss, pollution and climate change that has been spreading from the rainforest of Central Africa, Southeast Asia, and also from South America to the northern woods of Canada and Scandinavia. The extensive of logging gives eliminate of a swath of trees. Terrestrial and aquatic life form are in danger, and soon will be gone by the effect of losing nutrients, water, a shelter for plants, animals and microorganism throughout the ecosystem.  
  
Soil protected by underneath of trees, which means by losing tree nature will lose their integrity. The rainforest ground, home to a large number of plant life, insect, worms, reptiles, amphibians and small mammals, dependent on a compact canopy of branches and leaves to make them stay healthy and not impaired. The canopy catches the heavy rainfall to protect surface runoff, thus the rain will be separated into drips and fall down on to the porous earth. Tree roots make a stable soil and preserve from erosion. The healthy soil will boost root development and microbial activity that helps tree to growth well. Road building gives a heavy compression what damage the spongy soil, creating furrows where water collets and interrupting the underground water path. As result, the topsoil is leaving infertile stones and clays.  
  
Logging also gives aquatic affect. Plants that separate all the rivers and a narrow river bank could help water pathway maintenance by cover the entry of soil and other residues, while tree shade slows down the growth of algae. The loss of forest could reduce the amount of oxygen in the water, killing fish, while the organic needs more oxygen after erosion.  
  
Wood consume carbon dioxide and produce oxygen instead and pollutants will be filtered their leaves. Pollutants will stay in the air and will mix with water vapour and form acid raid if nature cannot handle it anymore. So the streams and rivers have a worsening water and rose sedimentation.  
  
Truthfully, forest ecosystem supply humidity from the soil to the atmosphere, whereas inhibiting volatilization. Deforestation changes rainfall pattern that gives rise a flooding same as drought and forest fires. Deforestation brings up tonnes of carbon into the atmosphere leading to a major factor to global warming. Many logging companies make a way to an area, so they burn forest's tract and release more highly carbon dioxide concentration.  
  
Rainforests are the decisive natural device that has biodiversity and irreplaceable wildlife habitats. Logging responsibility could help protect the world for the next generation.
Hello Fauziyahtami  
I have some advice to you, pay attention if you wish  
  
... of a swath of trees. (then, thus, and) Terrestrial and aquatic life ...  
.....there i no connecting word both of your sentence. i think you should use it  
  
Actually you have skill to write, but sometimes there is no colleration between one sentence and another.  
so, pay attention with your flow in your essay
Hi Fauzi !  
  
The logging ~~industry~~**industries**~~supplied~~**supply**~~the~~ raw material**s** for many commercial products.  
... pollution **,** and climate change (...) from the rainforest ~~of~~**in** Central Africa, Southeast ...  
The extensive of logging ~~gives~~ eliminate ~~of~~ a swath of trees.  
... losing nutrients, water, ~~a~~ shelter**s** for plants, animals ...  
... stable soil and preserve **them** from erosion.  
... creating furrows where water ~~collets~~**collect** and interrupting the ...  
... is leaving infertile stones and ~~clays~~**clay**.  
Plants ~~that~~**which** separate **from** all the rivers and a narrow ...  
~~Wood~~**Tress** consume carbon (...) oxygen instead ~~and~~**of** pollutants will be ...  
Pollutants ~~will~~ stay in the air and ~~will~~ mix with water vapour and ~~form~~ acid raid **form** if nature cannot ...  
  
Note :  
I think you should add the article you wrote, so I can compare both of them.  
Overall, it is a great summary despite of small numbers of mistake.  
You did a good job!  
Keep spirit!
It brings harm effects to the ecosystem. The damage causes habitat loss, (...) change that ~~has~~have been ~~spreading~~spread from the rainforest of ...  
Terrestrial and aquatic ~~life form~~creatures are in danger, and (...), water, and~~a~~ shelter for plants, ...  
  
Soil is protected by (...), which means that~~by~~ losing ~~tree nature~~natural trees will lose their integrity. The rainforest ground, as home to a large number (...) and small mammals, depend~~ent~~ on a compact canopy ...  
  
... a heavy compression ~~what~~which damages the spongy soil, creating furrows where water colletcs and interrupting ...
**The Steps of Making-Cement Process and The Concrete Production**  
  
The diagrams reveal the steps of cement-making process and the way to produce concrete concentration for building purposes. In the cement production, there are six steps which contain two main materials. In concrete production, it uses four primary materials in which gravel takes a half of the compositions. All of the materials are mixed in concrete mixer.  
  
In the first stage, cement materials which consisted of limestone and clay are crushed. The powder is the result of this phase. After that, the powder is mixed and then continues to the rotating heater. Afterwards, the powder is heated and ground. Here, the cement is already produced. The last step is packaged. Finally, the cement is ready to sell.  
  
Concrete production consists of four main materials. They are 50 percent of gravel composition, which is addicted 15 percent cement, 10 percent water, and 25 percent sand. All of the materials are mixed in the concrete mixer. After that, the definite product is ready to use for building purposes.  
  
*
relocation is the accustomed weight bunch of animals involving their propagation land and the areas that they inhabit through the break of the year. journey is an admirable example of how nature has responded To the biological essential for variety to progress and sprawling into all potential ecological niches that can afford the situation compulsory for species to strain and elevate juvenile.  
  
The the majority ordinary appearance of bird voyage involves traveling to advanced latitudes to bread for the period of the temperate season and them recurring to minor latitudes to bread during the warm season and then returning to lower latitudes during the non breeding episode  
  
throughout resettlement the majority bird fly for a partial stage each day. probably concerning six to eight hours.  
How bird manage to accurately travel connecting distant locations is one portion that has enthralled observers for centuries. current day researchers have attempted to realize this feat. most studies have establish that traveling birds all have some skill to find the technique and an inborn coerce to travel in a exacting route.