dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
## Nowadays, films are no longer made by big companies only

  
  
It is true that the advancement of digital technology facilitates the process of making films, which allows not only big organizations but also ordinary people to create fascinating films currently. Although there are some drawbacks, I would argue that its merits are much more considerable.  
  
On the one hand, I believe that when videos are produced by an unprofessional filmmaker, several problems can be anticipated. Initially, viewers such as youngsters or children may be exposed to inappropriate videos in terms of violence or offense, leading to many detrimental effects on them. This is due to the fact that while companies specializing in this industry have to testify to the quality of films before publishing in the society, films produced by individuals may not have to undergo censorship. Furthermore, there are numerous websites, apps, and technical devices that enable people to create their videos, triggering copyright infringement. If independent filmmakers do not obey the regulations and they imitate others' ideas, they may be sued for this fault that results in compromising their profits as well as their reputation.  
  
On the other hand, despite the drawbacks mentioned above, I am of the opinion that it is a positive trend. First of all, this phenomenon enables freelancers to fulfill their dream and participate in this field. In the past, only film companies were able to create films because they were equipped with many modern and dedicated facilities supporting their jobs. Nevertheless, nowadays people are able to make a video with their own mobile phone or computer, which demonstrates the fact that it is a favorable environment for talented people to develop and have more opportunities for designing and writing their own stories. In addition, making films freely could expand the variety of genres or topics, which assist the public to enhance their knowledge and broaden their horizons about new aspects. While big organizations concentrate more on the prominent types of films that appeal to a huge number of audiences, people working freely could share their daily activities, or their own stories to encourage other people.  
  
In conclusion, while I agree that free filmmakers can cause several demerits such as improper content or violating copyright, this trend also offers people several benefits. In particular, many individuals could pursue their dreams and create more hilarious videos for the viewers.
Restate the prompt topic accurately without providing any opinion. The topic restatement loses accuracy when the writer claims "accuracy" at this point. It changes the basis of the discussion from a restatement to an opinion sentence in the wrong part of the paragraph. This will result in point deductions as the topic focus has changed from a public opinion to a personal insight of the writer. The personal insight can only be shared in the thesis statement or discussion paragraphs, not before then.  
  
The writer has used a comparative discussion which does not suit the required discussion format. Where "Discuss both views" or "compare and contrast both views" is not given as a part of the discussion requirement, the writer is expected to provide 2 supporting reasons for his opinion within 2 reasoning paragraphs. He is not allowed to do a comparative presentation as this will result in the non-supporting opinion weakening the clarity of the writer's opinion. This could very well result in the opposing opinion not receiving any marks and, the essay being perceived as under developed and therefore, not suited to receive a passing score.
***It is not necessary to travel to other places to learn the culture of other people.  
We can learn just as much from books, films and the Internet.***  
## Do you agree or disagree?

  
  
Stepping into the 21st century, it is not much-needed for people to visit destinations to learn about the cultural beauty. Instead, it is highly recommended that people learn the cultures and traditions via books, films along with the internet. From my perspective, I partly subscribe to the notion above for some prime reasons as follows.  
  
On the one hand, there are some compelling justifications why people could totally widen their horizons about the cultures' values of many places by using books, films and social networking sites. First and foremost, learning about cultures through reading books or using the internet is extremely affordable to the majority of the population. It is clearly explained that both conventional documents as well as the internet nowadays obviously not only comprise a great deal of information related to cultures and traditions in places but also are reasonably priced to humankind. As a result, people do not need to allocate much money on their visits to a range of places or nations in the world with a view to learning. For instance, only by reading books and surfing the internet regularly do candidates of The Olympia competition in Vietnam perfectly accomplish numerous challenging questions about cultures as well as languages of many nations. Secondly, learning from books or videos together with the internet also helps individuals to save time efficiently. This is because people these days usually suffer from heavy workloads and deadlines, as a result, they find it difficult to invest a long time in traveling. Therefore, learning cultures online and reading documents could be deemed sensible to them.  
  
On the other hand, I also firmly think that it is quite essential for humans to contemplate the cultures and traditions of different countries by visiting because of two basic reasons. First of all, traveling to an array of destinations could bring visitors realistic experiences; therefore, they could deeply comprehend the core value of each culture genre. For example, when Vietnamese schools take their students to Bat Trang village, students could have a chance to try hard to make a product based on their creativity. By contrast, only learning from course books could not help them to attain any experiences like this. Last but not least, learning the cultures and traditions of numerous areas could be considered a recreational activity for someone. In fact, besides being exposed to a sheer number of different cultures along with gaining practical experiences, travelers also release anxiety significantly after working hard by enjoying the natural beauty of each landscape in these areas.  
  
In conclusion, I strongly believe that both visiting different destinations and using books, videos along with the internet can give people an aid to widen their knowledge about the culture of each place. Thus, it is suggested that individuals should make use of two types of learning to gain more benefits from them.
There is no reference to the 21st century in the original topic. A strong recommendation does not exist as a prior reason either. Both prompt resetatement references are irrelevant and cannot be considered a part of the rewording since these particular information are not indicated in the original presentation. The writer has also provided an incorrect response format as a measured response was used, indicative of a "to what extent" discussion, rather than the definite discussion opinions as referenced in the question. The opening paraphrase + personal opinion will receive a failing preliminary score that will be added to the overall score.  
  
The comparative discussion format that the writer chose to use in the reasoning paragraphs is irrelevant as that type of format does not respond to the question provided. The overall approach to the writing cannot be accepted by the examiner, who is looking for the proper response format in the presentation.  
  
The writer was again in error in the summary conclusion when a repeat of the extent statement was used as the foundation for the paragraph. The overall score cannot be a passing one due to response and formatting errors found throughout the presentation.
***Oscar Wilde once wrote, "We live in an age when unnecessary things are our only necessities." In an essay to be read by an audience of educated adults, state whether you agree or disagree with Wilde's observation.***  
  
## Support your position with logical arguments and specific examples.

  
  
Answer:  
  
I agree with Oscar Wilde's statement. I believe we live in an age when unnecessary things are our only necessities. For example, smartphones are our necessities today. However, we lived without smartphones ten years ago. Two main reasons make smartphones so popular. In the following paragraphs, I will discuss the details and give specific examples.  
  
First, smartphones have various entertainments, such as video games, movie apps, photo editors, etc. These entertainments make our lives joyful. We can use smartphones to play video games online with people all over the work. This feeling is amazing, especially after our stressful work. For example, the football video game on smartphones is very realistic. Having a game with friends is the most popular activity for football fans.  
  
Second, smartphones contain many tools, such as the calculator, clock, notebook, etc. We no longer carry a heavy bag with all the tools. We can also read our textbooks on our smartphones. So, the smartphone saves our environment. For example, to produce paper books, millions of trees are cut down every year. To produce the plastic equipment, the air and water are polluted. Smartphones reduce the pollution caused by production.  
  
Smartphones have replaced traditional equipment and have become our necessities today. This is perfect proof that supports Oscar Wilde's statement.
In the case of a CBEST expressive aim essay, the writer must do his best to write a 5 paragraph essay. The number of paragraphs will allow him to fully express his ideas in a manner that gives him room to develop his presentation. The high scoring rewards come fully developed 4-5 paragraphs, with 5 paragraphs offering the best scoring potential.  
  
The thesis statement for this essay is weak. The writer does not clearly state the reasons he will be expanding upon in the essay. The writer stops short of thoroughly presenting acceptable reasons as the basis of the discussion. This has limited the clarity of the paragraph.  
  
As the writer is trying to become an educator in California,I have to say that he failed to achieve his aim. The writing sounds like an ESL high school level student wrote the paper rather than a trained educator. The tone and reasoning is too juvenile for the target audience.
Although I do agree with your statement, the smartphones topic is playout. we know the damages and quite frankly don't care.  
  
Here are few unnecessary things that are now necessary  
  
- expensive clothing/trendy clothes ( think about the money, quality,time span, landfill!)  
  
- American dream ( the one size dream of getting the family, house, money then die)  
  
- Celebrities opinions ( I don't understand why celebrities trend after saying/doing something after all they're still humans but known , doesn't mean they're expressed values should be shared)  
  
-Renter's insurance  
  
- Excessive smoking/drinking  
Good luck!!!
## choosing career for youngsters future

  
  
The issue that youngsters have freedom of choosing their favorite career has long sparked bitter controversy. While others hold the view that concentrating on realistic and their future is more important. It is widely maintained that the issue has both pros and cons. This essay will elaborate upon both views of this issue in more detail.  
  
On the one side, young adults have freedom to get a job that base on their individual's interest. They always feel happy with what they do, as a result. they can find motivation easily to create more ideas, try their best to complete all things in work. The chosen job suits their personality, they can manage time to go to work. Furthermore, young people can maintain healthy relationship with their fellowships. Hence, thinking and choosing career based on their interest or passion freely is necessary to enhance motivation in life.  
  
On the other side, selecting a job realistically can ensure people's career growth and future job opportunities. Thus, in modernized society, various companies and organizations need more employees, as a result the more jobs are created that have positions for youngsters with high paying and long term source of income. Basing on realistically selecting a job in developing field or industry currently is suitable for working people.  
  
All things considered, everyone can freely choose job that they want or realistically. Therefore, they should be wise to select job that ensure for their growth in the future and lead a fulfilling as well as a satisfying career.
The first paragraph contains several reference errors that will force the examiner to award a failing TA score to the paragraph. The first, is the incorrect reference to a "bitter controversy" where none was presented in the original. The examiner expects the writer to restate the topic without any exaggerations that will alter the original topic presentation. This exaggerated reference, which is unsupported in the original will result in percentage deductions.  
  
The writer is also referring to "pros and cons" which is another unsupported claim that totally alters the discussion instructions for this essay. More deductions will apply. The writer's opinion is also missing from the prompt restatement, which is a requirement for the thesis statement of this paragraph.  
  
The failure of the writer to comply with the restatement requirements and opinion presentation format has also created an overall failing score for this piece. I need not review it further.
Some people believe that young people who commit serious crimes should be punished in the same way as adults.  
To what extend do you agree or disagree.?  
  
It is true that the number of teenagers commting crime has drastically in created in recent years. Personally, I completely disagree with the idea that strict punishments for juvenile delinquents are the same as other offenders.  
  
On the one hand, strict punishment of young criminals may have adverse effects. to be precise, they are still too young to fully understand the consequence of breaking the law and the danger of a criminal lifestyle. Therefore, they can not responsible for what they did as the seriousness of their criminal act. Furthermore, teenagers couldn't evaluate their decision wisely because they tend to be seduced by their toxic friends and harassment by other adults.  
  
On the other hand, I believe that adolescents could be remorseful for what they had done and turn their lives around if we educate their mindset about their crimes. One option would be rather than sending them to prison where serious criminals are living, they should let to stay in reformatory schools, where they can rehabilitate physiology and continue their studies. For instance, if we teach them positive aspects of life and encourage them that they still have a chance to become normal, productive members of society. Another option would be allowing ex-prisoners to speak to young people about what happens if they keep following the criminal lifestyle.  
  
In conclusion, treating juvenile delinquents like other crimes may make them suffer from psychological problems. I am convinced that other measures such as reformatory schools should also be introduced.  
  
Hello, could you please point out my mistakes and calculate a band score for this essay? Thank you
Band score estimates are provided as a part of our private services. Kindly contact us privately to inquire about it. Students who might want to score this essay should think twice as it will result in account suspension on their part.  
  
Why are you admitting to the truth of a claim when the original topic is merely referencing this as an idea among a small group of supporters? Such reference creates an incorrect prompt restatement and will result in deductions based on topic statement inaccuracy. This will lower the TA score even as the writer's opinion was properly presented even as the reasoning summary is not given by the writer. The reasoning topics being present in this paragraph would have boosted the TA score due to opinion clarity.  
  
The writer will only receive a score for the paragraph that supports his opinion presentation. As this is not a comparative essay but rather, a single opinion presentation, the reasoning paragraphs should have both supported the writer's opinion in this debate. The reason? It will prove the writer's opinion to be correct as it is based on believable supporting statements. The non-supporting paragraph will not receive a score. The end result? The essay will receive a score based on a partially developed discussion.
## **The graph below shows the birds' population in Europe from 1977 to 2001.**

  
*(This is a topic and the line graph is below )*  
  
The graph give data on the bird population has changed in Europe , during the span of 24 years period from 1997 to 2001. Overall, the number of birds decreased by 30 millions of the amount , in the early of the time span it was increased a bit but after that they were inclined to fell out dramatically in the latter one.  
  
In 1997, the number of birds grew up approximately to 130 millions.Meanwhile , after that period they were tend to diminished by 99 percent of the total decreased amount in a dangerous way from 1980 to 1986. Thereafter , they accelerated to 7 millions quantity next 3 years . From the beginning of 1989 , they're continue dropped out and the number is lower than a previous period . In 1992 , the number of birds slightly increased by 2 millions . In the final 6 years , this number fell off from 96 millions to 90 millions.  
  
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A task 1 essay always has a 3 paragraph requirement. 4 paragraphs are presented when reporting using 2 images. So, while the presentation met the word requirement, the format is still incorrect. Points will still be deducted based on formatting reasons. Always present:  
  
- Summary overview + trending statement (combined in a single paragraph)  
- First grouped topic report  
- second grouped topic report  
  
The format above is a standard presentation format that you can use even in a 2 image report. You cannot go wrong when you use this format so memorize it.  
  
The English sentence structures are elementary and with obvious ESL word usage problems. I am confident though that the student will show grammar improvements over time, provided he dedicates himself to improving his language skills. I say this because the writer got his message across even while using elementary English words for his sentences.
***Question:  
It is suggested that primary children should learn how to grow vegetables and keep animals.***  
## Do the advantages of this outweigh its disadvantages?

  
  
Many people believe that children should be taught how to plant agricultural produce and raise animals in elementary schools. Although there are some drawbacks of this proposal, I would argue that the benefits are much greater.  
  
The main disadvantage of this idea relates to the guarantee of children's safety and health. When they come in direct contact with certain types of animals, vegetables, and soils, they would be exposed to viruses, germs, and harmful bacteria which could be dangerous pathogens, causing the increase of children's diseases. For example, when doing farm, children could be allergic to animals' fur or feathers, leading to a threat to respiratory distress. Another drawback is its feasibility. The physical toil of cultivating plants and taking care of animals may be too much for students to learn and handle, while teachers struggle to ensure the synchronous program to teach and manage their students.  
  
Despite this, I believe the aforementioned disadvantages pale in comparison with the huge upside that could be gained from children learning how to farm and keep animals. Firstly, being engrossed in horticulture and livestock activities enhances the primary students' life skills, specifically positive social and interpersonal skills. In other words, they can learn how to cooperate and communicate with their mates, which is of great importance in their social cognition. Secondly, these activities help children instill a variety of valuable virtues in children such as independence, patience, and empathy. For example, children always take care of their plants every day through a range of activities: drilling, watering, fertilizing, and so on, which helps them foster their patience and heighten their sense of responsibility and their appreciation of farmers' work. This can promote the children's eating desire and hone a better awareness of protecting the flora and fauna. The last is that farming can be an effective alternative pursuit measure to prevent the kids' sedentary activities playing video games or overusing the Internet.  
  
In conclusion, while I recognize some disadvantages of this idea, I firmly believe that the benefits of teaching children how to cultivate vegetables and keep animals are much more significant because of the contribution to the full physical and mental development of children, which is certainly useful in later life regardless of their occupation or lifestyles.
Please try not to overwrite in the essays. The rule of thumb is to produce no more than 308 words for the essay. The scores are based on the concise, meaning short, but clear explanations of supporting reasons. It will be difficult to replicate this kind of writing in a40 menute test that focuses on several scoring considerations. The word count is not included in the scoring.  
  
Good work in the restatement + opinion presentation. It is acceptable but will not receive the bonus points applied for having actual reasons indicated as a part of the thesis statement. Always aim for additional clarity in this section for that purpose.  
  
The reasons provided are not cohesive. These do not represent valid discussion points since the writer was not able to provide opposing reasons that prove the stated disadvantages are actually advantages. That is the expected discussion route for this essay format. The error was in the first reasoning paragraph as it relates to children's health. Had the focus been on farmwork, then the 2 paragraphs would have had a better connection.
## Internet users as percentage of population

  
  
The line graph compares the number of internet users in three countries: USA, Canada and Mexico from 1999 to 2009.  
It is clear that, the figure for the number of people who used internet in three countries all increased throughout the years with Canada witnessed the highest rise in the number of internet users.  
  
In 1999, USA had the highest percentage of internet users with around 20% meanwhile both Canada and Mexico only had 20% and 10% respectively. In 2005, the figure for both USA and Canada users of internet rose dramatically to approximately 70%. Whereas, Mexico saw a steady grow from 10% in 1999 to around 25% in 2005.  
  
By 2009, Canada experienced an upsurge in the number of internet users to nearly 100%, exceeding its counterpart - USA, while Internet users in USA witnessed a gradual growth to about 75% and Mexico to nearly 40%.  
  
*