dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
## one year gap from study

  
  
In this day and age, instead of embarking on higher education, there is an increasing tendency for high school seniors to have a long-year break for working or traveling purposes. In this essay, both the merits and drawbacks of this trend will be discussed.  
  
One of the most salient positives that deferring university enrollment can bring to the gap-year takers is the chance to enrich their life experiences and broaden their horizons. In other words, formal schooling just mainly focuses on academic background, which may lead to the lack of practical skills such as time management, negotiation skills, or interpersonal skills. Hence, entering the workforce or traveling to other cultures can afford students an opportunity to build and enhance these skills, which also gives them a competitive edge when pursuing college or working after their graduation. Another reason that taking a year off would be advantageous is that it would enable students to discover their hidden talents and strong points. As a result, it makes them easier to opt for a major in college and afterward identify a suitable career path.  
  
However, there are multiple downsides associated with the gap-year option, one of which is the high risk of losing studying momentum. To be more specific, there is no denying that school leavers may consequently deteriorate their ability to perceive theoretical knowledge because they got used to the practical ones outside the college. Therefore, from the gap-year takers' perspective, pursuing college may become dull and be hard to resume. Furthermore, youngsters intending to take a year off, if do not have a clear plan of action, are likely to waste an enormous amount of valuable time and fall behind their friends. For example, they can spend an entire day on Netflix, Youtube, or other online platforms because they are disoriented with their journey whereas their old peers are expected to not only complete the first year at university but also develop either academic fields or practical skills through social clubs in college.  
  
In conclusion, delaying tertiary education for one year to work or travel is a promising option that can change youngsters in an advantageous way; however, they need to have an efficient plan to avoid detrimental effects.
The writer is asked to provide his opinion on the given topic with a yes or no answer. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? Yes or no? Pick one side to defend. This is a more complicated comparative essay to write due to the advanced formatting basis. This should be written in the following reasoning paragraph format:  
  
Sentence 1: Claim an advantage  
Sentence 2: Offer an opposition based on a disadvantage reason of the same topic (advantage)  
Sentence 3: Give an example of why it is a disadvantage rather than an advantage  
Sentence 4: Expand on the disadvantage based on the example  
Sentence 5: Transition to the next topic  
  
The current presentation tries to justify both topics. A discussion format that runs counter to the true discussion presentation needs, based on the original prompt presentation.
***Topic:  
## The widespread use of the Internet has brought many problems.

  
What do you think are the main problems associated with the use of the web? What solution can you suggest?***  
  
Many people said a large-scale use of the Internet has brought on many issues, which needs to be handled as soon as possible for unwanted consequences.  
  
On the one hand, having access to many websites can isolate a child from the outside world. He or she may have a high tendency to stay inside for many hours than normal, even a whole day, just surfing the Internet, chatting with friends, and so on. As a result, he or she will not have a chance of taking part in outdoor activities, which can have a bad effect on their physical health, and they become more and more far-away from parents and friends. Moreover, widespread access to the Internet can cause a significant change om daily routine. Instead of going to bed at 10 pm and getting up at 6, he or she stays up late and until 7 or 8 o'clock, they get up. This leads to an imbalance in lifestyle, which is the cause of health problems.  
  
On the other hand, every issue has solutions, and I think the best way is that parents should make more time for their children. For example, instead of talking to neighbours for hours and do most of the housework, they can let their daughters or sons do it, and spend more time playing with them. Another good idea is that the Internet should provide more time-control webs or apps for children. It does not only form a discipline in children, but it also enables them to plan timetable suitably and effectively, and it may play a vital role in helping parents watch their children's time.  
  
In conclusion, when the use of the Internet happens everywhere, it is very difficult to address if we do not have assistance from parents and educational departments. Children should have a balance between accessing the web and works like study, hanging out and so on.
The prompt restatement could be better represented but is at least understandable in your version. The problem in this paragraph is the lack of discussion paragraph outline based on simple responses to the provided questions. One response topic per question. The responses will create the basis for the succeeding 2 reasoning paragraphs.  
  
The paragraphs show that the writer is familiar with the provided topic. However, the sentence presentations are a bit on the confusing side. Time references to the A.M. and P.M. aspects need to be better identified. Proofreading should be done to prevent correctable errors such as "om" which should have been written as "from" .  
  
An opinion essay must be written from a convincing point of view. Presenting the idea using the phrase" I think "negates the strength of the writer's opinion due to the uncertain nature of the reference. That said, the discussion in the solutions paragraph still focused on the correct presentation format.  
  
The essay presentation has several problems that can be avoided in future writing presentations. Always remember to proofread for increased writing quality and clarity considerations.
## you'll learn foreign language abroad

  
  
There is a belief that traveling and working overseas is the only aim for acknowledging another language beside mother tongue. Meawhile, others argue that there are more reason explaining this trend. Although it is hard to decide which view is more valid, I am of the idea that working and traveling abroad is not the only reason why people acquire a foreign language.  
  
With some people, they argue that the only reason for taking an foreign language course is to work or travel abroad. First, learning a foreign language is the crucial method in order to travel other countries for different purpose such as occupations or holidays. For example, English is an international language that used worldwide, people can easily communicate and tranfer information without difficuties of language barrier. Consequently, people stand a wonderful chances of exploring unique cultures. Second, a foreign language bring benefits to employees who work overseas. If they had an international or another countries's official language certification, they are likely to be promoted for a higher position with futher significant salaries.  
  
On the other hand, I totally agree with the idea that jobs and trips are not the only reason why people learn a foreign language. To begin, foreign languages are extremely helpful in hospitality. For example, hotels or resorts employing receptionists and tour guiders who are briliant at using another languagea tend to be more successful as they have a higher opprlortunity to be selected by tourisms. Moreover, acquiring a foreign language reduce time for students who study abroad. Without a certification of English, for instance, or other languages depending on which coutry is chosen to study, student will have a to take a gap year in order to learn these languages in both general and academic criteria.  
  
In conclusion, while manu people say that jobs and holidays are responsible for people learning another language, i strongly believe that this trend brings numerous advantages that are the reasons why people do.
The prompt restatement is true to the original. Even the personal opinion is well presented. The prompt + personal opinion is, although grammatically inaccurate at times, still clear to the reader. The sentence structure maybe off at times within the essay but the words are used in the correct manner, which helped in the understanding off the writer's text.  
  
The actual discussion is . an explanatory paragraph with regards to the opinion about other reasons for learning a foreign language based on the public opinion supporting it The reasoning immediately pimped to a personal opinion, creating an incomplete discussion presentation. The essay may receive a score even though it is undeveloped and might even get a low passing score. It cannot be considered for higher merit due to the missing paragraph presentation. The writer must always deliver the number of reasoning paragraphs based on the writing instruction in the prompt provided to recieve full scoring consideration. in this case, that means 3 paragraphs ( discuss both views and give a personal opinion).
## free the art

  
  
It is a controversial issue whether authorities should involve in artist's creative process or grant artists the complete freedom to convey their thoughts whichever way they wish to. From my perspective, I completely agree with the opinion is that there is that there should be no restrictions given to artisans by the government.  
  
Artists who produce different kinds of artworks should be given the chance to do so as a part of their human rights. It is a fact that these kind of people have various and unique ways of presenting their opinions through their works of art that should be given the chance to be heard or displayed. Some arts enthusiasts consider these pieces of work as their motivation as well as their inspiration to continue pursuing their passion. One of the significant examples is that many creative artists used to be pioneers in producing artworks supporting for transgender people, but these were stigmatized and criticized by some countries policies. It is proved that artists should be free with their works for the advancement of the human being.  
  
Another reason worth considering is that it is a fact that these creations play a pivotal role in enriching culture and enabling the advancement of society. If artists used to abide country policies and please authorities with mass production, there would be no presence of nowadays masterpieces. However, the diversity of art comes from breaking the conventional political views or regional, bringing an open-mind and intellectual enlightenment. There are many tragedies and massacres due to undermining the dissemination of literature school, back to the time of Qing Dynasty.  
  
However, some advocates argue with opinion that government should have legislation on artist works because of their violence and deprivation. This can have negavtive impact on immature children, in other words it can lead to the destruction of a generation.  
  
In conclusion, the creative artists are indispensable in our society although some artists have tended to draw against the creed, and religion. In my opinion, the stricter rules and regulation are imposed to prevent artists from expressing themselves, the more monotonous in art people will see.
The prompt restatement iss acceptable. However, the extent Uspouse clarity was affected by the improper sentence structure:  
  
I completely agree with the opinion ~~is that there is~~ that there should be no restrictions given to artisans by the government.  
This is a redundancy that shows the writer is not looking out for less C + C deductions. It actually shows a lack of care for thought clarity in the presentation. The writer could have had a strong base score if not for that sentence formation error.  
  
In the first reasoning paragraph. The writer presents a valid opinion that would have been made more valid by a solid reference to say, the author's own experience or public knowledge , represented by the mention of a specific country. This falls under the personal knowledge, experience, or public knowledge discussion basis requirement of the writing instruction.  
  
In the second reasoning presentation, there should be a specific reference to the artists of modern masterpieces Be they local or international artists, these are names of public knowledge in the field.  
  
sThe essay digresses from its point by presenting the usrequired Ind paragraph. As that opposes the actual opinion, it will be disregarded in the scoring process. As a single . essay, this must contain no more than 4 paragraphs. Both reasoning paragraphs must strengthen the opinion focus of the essay. If not for the unnecessary 3rd (opposing) reason, this would have been a positively solid scoring presentation.
## small number of people earn extremely high salaries

  
  
**Prompt:** In many countries, a small number of people earn extremely high salaries. Some people believe that this is good for the country, but others think that governments should not allow salaries above a certain level. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.  
  
**Essay:**  
There has been a controversial topic about whether the government should set a benchmark of the maximum income of individuals. While it may seem to be an ideal way to create a balanced society, I strongly believe that such treatment is impractical and even unhealthy.  
  
On one hand, limiting the remunerations gives the government a tool to control general economic stability. Soon enough everyone reaches the limit of income, the same level of wealth. Then, the financial gap should not be a problem. While this may be a fair circumstance, it triggers the underlying threat of social psychology and the big picture of the laboring industry. For instance, we want to achieve the latest technology, we want to extend human's living time, we strive to break the boundaries, but are given limited revenue. Such an illogical situation springs to their minds and becomes a discouragement for those with serious talents, that despite being exceptionally helpful for the community, their efforts are credited the same.  
  
On another hand, the companies should have the right to hold their decisions of their own expenses. High payments for employees are effective tools to attract excellent individuals and an appealing motivation for the candidates. With the increase of human's demands and the growth of the business, the employees therefore are required for more qualities and rightfully earn more. For example, a rookie working as a marketing intern has average monthly income for doing regular paperworks and organizing schedules versus a CEO of a marketing agency that works with big names for advertising campaigns that earns millions per year. This seems to be imbalanced, but if we take a look at the scope of work that is involved, we can see that they are considerably different, and have different impacts toward the general industry, thus deserve aforementioned salaries. It is a fair treatment for each person, and also the target for the one who is in the lower level.  
  
In summary, although it may sound fair that a maximum income brings balance to the country, I strongly believe that such flawed theory has underlying consequences. Instead, unlimited awards boost employees in many ways, creating a healthy and competitive environment for everyone.
The prompt restatement is lacking in opinion presentation. Both public opinions must be interpreted for the presentation prior to the personal opinion statement. That is because the instruction asks the writer to "discuss both views then give an opinion". The writing format is therefore a comparative analysis based on the A/D + personal opinion format. A 3 paragraph essay based on 2 public opinions + 1 personal statement is required for the reader's information and consideration.  
  
The public opinion discussions should use the 3rd person group pronouns to reflect the explanation of each publicly supported reason. This indicates the writer's comparative dissection of the validity of each public point of view. The first person singular pronouns, not group pronouns since that portion is a personal pov, should be used in the third paragraph where the writers belief about the topicis explored and presented.  
  
While there is a strong closing summary presented, the need for a properly formatted discussion will adversely affect the score of this discussion.
***Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations.  
  
## Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.***  
  
There has been discussion revolving around the issue whether many people consider that the best way to accept bad circumstances from job to finance, ect. Others believed that people should deal with them being better. In my point of view, I support each person should solve more than ignore them.  
  
First of all, accepting bad situations makes people look weak and defeated more than they imagine. They always appear in life such as an unsatisfactory job, a broken marriage or shortage of money. For instance, if a poor person may be thinked he is never richer than in the future, he continually lives in a difficult condition. So this is incorrect and stupid when not changeing ideas.  
  
Trying and improving such a situation is a smart choice that there are more opportunities for life. Anyone also should think a way makes it better than. An excellent example, Kante who is a famous French football player. He had a difficult life in his childhood but he did not stop trying to make his dream come true. Moreover, in the world, there are many popular stories about many people who do not stop working to change conditions or earn a lot of money to support their family. Also, dealing with personal situations leads to success.  
  
In conclusion, humans have two main manners to face their situations are accepted or settled them. I think that if we should try and improve such situations, we will be better than both mental and money in the future.  
  
Hello, this is my essay and I am really looking forward to seeing your feedback and advice.  
Thank you so much!
## The given diagram expresses the development of honey bee in life.

  
In general, there are 6 stages in the life cycle of the honey bee and it takes 34 -36 days for this process.  
  
As can be seen, the first stage of bee's development is egg hatching, this takes 9-10 days to complete. The first five days, the egg becomes split because of the effect of a bee to come out. After 2 days, the bee can come out from the egg completely and grow while the next 2 days. Then it becomes young adult emerges and take 4 days to maturity. The females lay 1 or 2 eggs every 3 days and all of eggs make the life cycle again. This is a moderately complex process that helps increase amout of honey bee species.
The presentation does not meet the minimum word count of 150 words. This immediately disqualifies the writing from a passing score due to an underdeveloped analysis and data presentation. The expected 3 paragraph presentation format for the report was not followed. It should have a 3 sentence summary paragraph and 2 procedure or development paragraphs. There is a lack of proper development explanation and analysis that led to the lack of properly presented information. The report was completed in a rush and without consideration for the scoring requirements.  
  
These are the most easily observed problems in the presentation. The lack of image prevents me from creating a more comprehensive review for work improvement suggestions.
## **More houses are needed in many countries to cope with increasing populations.**

  
*Would it be better to build houses in existing towns and cities, or to develop new towns in rural areas?*  
  
With the unprecedented growth of population in many countries around the world today, residential needs are increasingly growing. Many people hold the view that it is better to install new construction in existing cities as it is convenient for dwellers and authorities. However, I believe that this strategy is just a short-term one, developing new towns in far-flung areas is the practical and strategic solution.  
  
First and foremost, the infrastructure system in the metropolis is even better than that in rural regions. In addition, existing cities provide all sorts of facilities and equipment immediately. As a result, the government does not have to face a huge financial burden of transportation and storage costs of building materials. Furthermore, since the majority of industrial factories are distributed in central cities or their outskirts, it is easy for citizens to access their workplaces and possess many opportunities to make a living. Consequently, the living quality of inhabitants would be enhanced and the problem of unemployment could be solved.  
  
However, improving dwellings in rural areas is an effective solution in the long run. Firstly, construction in central cities arouses a plethora of issues disturbing residents. Pollution is likely one of the most serious problems which not only affects public health but also damage the local ecology. According to a recent study, nearly 58% of people in megacities have more possibility to obtain respiratory diseases than people living in the countryside. Secondly, new communities attract more enterprises and develop local businesses. That tendency assists far-flung areas in reducing the unemployment rate and boosts the local economy in specific and national one in general.  
  
In conclusion, although there are several merits of building houses in existing towns or cities, it seems to me that developing new communities in local areas will provide many advantages for citizens and nation as well.  
  
Hello, this is my essay and I am really looking forward to seeing your feedback and advice.  
Thank you so much!
The prompt restatement and response is on target. There is a clear understanding of the topic and the reasoning, where applicable is sound. The discussion went off- focus in the first paragraph, because you were not providing a supporting discussion for your reason. This unrelated paragraph will not help the score as it does not relate to the opinion presentation. Rather, the opinion goes from clear and focused, to confusing and divided.  
  
The examiner will disregard the first paragraph due to irrelevance This creates an underdeveloped reasoning presentation, upon which the C + C score will be based. Stay focused on strongly developing your opinion based an opinion related reasons and examples. Paragraphs 1 and 2 should relate to your opinion, avoiding a comparative discussion or an effort to justify both opinions in a single opinion essay.  
  
There should not be a reference to previous studies and its data as that is not personal or public knowledge. The requirement is for personally known info. Avoiding the mention of a source and stating the data directly turns research into personally known or public information.