dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
Okay. Put away the dictionary and stop looking up representative complicated words that do not help with the clarity of your writing. Everyday simple English words help you improve your score because that proves your actual English academic abilities. Sure, complicated English words sound impressive to the reader. That is precisely why your essay will fail.  
  
Any examiner will immediately catch on to your hyper focus on the LR score, with a complete disregard for all other scoring needs. The presentation becomes less clear to an ordinary reader due to the word choices. The IELTS test focuses on basic writing and comprehension skills. Save the lexical collection for focused research papers. If, you are admitted to an English speaking university / English university overseas.  
  
Do not misunderstand. There is evident understanding of the topic and discussion points. It is the proper word usage in relation to explanation development that is the problem with this presentation.
## Money or more free time?

  
  
**For some people, making a lot of money is an important goal. Others think that their free time is more important than wealth. Which is more important to you? Explain, giving specific reasons for your choice.**  
  
*Many people believe that money plays the important role in their standard of living. On the other hand, others tend to focus on spare time instead of richness. As I see it, I completely believe that leisure is more crucial for two reasons. To begin with, time is one of the most crucial aspects of making money. The more free time we have, the higher earnings we can get. For instance, overtime is totally the ponderable choice for employees who want to increase their salary if they have enough free time to work all night. Next, despite allowing us to obtain what we need to live, money is not used to exchange true happiness. You can definitely give your family and friends luxury gifts; however, the most precious one is the family reunion or just hanging out with people who we appreciate. Moreover, the time we use for ourselves is not just relaxation, it is a chance to understand ourselves more which can hasten the process of balancing our mind and body. Those things can be done if we have spare time, not wealth. In conclusion, money is important but not everything. To my mind, not only can time glow up our mental health but it can make us treasure the relationships around us, as well. Therefore, do not forget to enjoy your leisure time and get a happier life.*
Since this is only a single paragraph, you need not lead into your explanation with "To begin with". Go directly into your explanations. The please you started with is normally used to start a new paragraph, which in unnecessary in this type of presentation. Focus the rest of the paragraph on explaining why you believe in leisure in relation to the topic. Where a comparison discussion is not indicated in the discussion instruction, none is required in the response presentation. Your personal response almost became an afterthought and is barely discussed of properly developed in the response paragraph. The paragraph should only mention the other possible choices in the first 2 sentences, no more than that.  
  
The problem though, is that you chose leisure as a response when the choices were only wealth and free time. Free time does not automatically translate into leisure time. There is a slight misunderstanding of the prompt on your part. That is based on a vocabulary error which led to a changed response based on the provided guidelines. Rather than leisure time, the original reference word, free time should have been used for relevance and clarity in this response. It would have been the perfect phrase to use in relation to the provided explanation.
## Water contamination and living creatures

  
  
Pollution of water source related to rivers, lakes and seas is always a serious problem make humankind have various different worry and cause the environmentalist an array of thinking about finding out solutions effectively. The natural water source is contaminated that effeccts not only small species living offically based-rivers but also human society.  
  
A question is taken out light that why the water pollution is get worse day by day and what the main reason of this is. The first strikely out one is the aware of humankind about this highly seriouus problem. The former or our ancient relatives seem not to be conceive about environment truely. They lived that mostly based on nature and didn't mind about any waste which is regarded as the result of their consumption released out nature. And this habit is still on as the technology boomed and developed. The children is also not equiped with knowledge about environment form their parents - the person with old thinking. The second reason for this is layed on habit of human which is acted the same day by day. The introduction of 4.0 companies and powerful technology has been producing products more and more based on plastics and materials used only 1 time. This one created a convenient trend on consumption but leaved a gaint waste disposed out nature. One pollutant additionally would have been rubbishes from the factories near the water source. On process, this kind of making new product used equipment having no filter to sort out raw waste and this caused the neighbour lakes or rivers be full of cans or plastics and further toxic substance.  
  
Nature must have been put on consequences of pollution especially on species life and human also. The water with contaminated pollutants is an uncomfortable environment for kind of marines can't have long span life. The toxic substance can cause dread broadband of fishes or shrimps and ect. This marine species is partly food source for people so if there can be any disease on unhealthy aquatic sources human will get ill immediately or even die catastrophically.  
  
Pollutants on river is neccessary to be reduced for the world green living together. Human need to change their habit for better ownlife and moreover, for species in water and their own food everyday.
The prompt paraphrase lacks coherence. The amount of words used in reference to the original discussion topic does not help the reader learn about the original discussion topic and guide questions. It is as if a dictionary exploded in that paragraph without an effort from the writer to clean up the paragraph so that it makes sense to the reader. That paragraph does not reflect a properly developed restatement and response.  
  
Sadly, this directionless writing based on an illogical representation of writer thoughts and question response relevance exists throughout the discussion paragraphs. The reader is left wondering about the main objective of the writer. Whatever the reasoning and logic of the presentation has been lost in translation from one language to the next. The writing is inefficient, illogical, and confusing.  
  
The only way the writing can improve in if the writer slows down and goes back to the basics starling with vocabulary development and simple sentence lessons leading into basic English sentence familiarity.
Hopefully examiners will give out the band of this essay and the mistake  
  
**## Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like.

  
*Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology***  
  
In spite of the fact that we are currently living in a developed society, there are still some considerable conflicts about deciding subjects at university. Some people advocate that students should study the subject they are in love with. Others opine that they should be spurred to learn utilitarian curriculums such as science, technology and so on. I fully consent on the first idea, in contrast I oppose such notion of the second one and both of these views will be outlined in this essay  
  
On the one hand, there are unanimous agreement on self-choosing subject and I totally agree. All occupations are useful to social life, and they require intensive effort. Therefore, under no circumstances are student going to put effort in acquiring knowledge that they are not interested in. Should a student be forced to learn a subject they dislike, they soon get mundane and lost motivation to continue to learn type of subject. In addition, many prestigious youtubers actually drop out school early due to the dullness of the subject they have to learn in university and surprisingly turn out to be successful. They didn't scale the height via learning and they still make a considerable outcome.  
  
On the other hand, some expresser opine that it is essential to fully motivate and encourage student to take utilitarian and advanced curriculum like science, biology and so on. There are no doubt in the usefulness of these subject in the long run. However, as the matter of fact, this statement is only true when the students are interested in it. Vietnamese education in university is a great example for this phenomenon. They invariably have to learn all of of these subject without any resistance, and all of the knowledge acquired are not in use later on in their daily life. Therefore these subject should not only be allowed in university, despite the significant of these kinds of subject in the future.  
  
In conclusion, It is more substantial for students to freely chose their curriculum they are passionate about, and although rocket science subjects like technology is considerably imperative in the long run, they should not be compulsory at all. They are useful, however it will be a waste of time and effort if the learners do not have the will to be receptive of them
The validity of the personal opinion you present should be in the 3rd paragraph of the essay. It is based on a presentation or analysis of the public reasons supporting each of the public academic study preferences. That means, you have to first understand the validity of each public point of view which will then lend itself to the creation of your personal opinion. You cannot agree with a particular viewpoint from the onset because this is first and foremost, a comparative essay presentation.  
  
The vocabulary usage in the essay is clear for the most port. There are some words that you seem to have made up though as these words are not part of the English vocabulary in any form (ex. expresser) Familiarize yourself with intermediate to advanced English vocabulary to help you avoid future vocabulary usage errors your presentation.
## Evaluation of networking sites influence

  
  
**Many people believe that social networking sites (such as facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. to what extent do you agree?**  
  
It is assumed by many societies that having access to social media like Facebook contains many drawbacks individually and collectively. I cannot entirely agree with that assumption delivered, where I will elaborate on several fundamental reasons in the following.  
  
To begin with, the connection to social networking, particularly Facebook, enhance the opportunity for the individual to become more sociable. Because, people can get many friendships around the world, as long as they can communicate in the same understandable language. Moreover, on Facebook, the users have an excellent chance to communicate with their friends who stay in other places. Then, it is clear that having social media increases the ability to get more friends from different cities or countries.  
  
Secondly, possessing a broad friendship also give several advantages related to economics and cultural understanding. Today, the online platform provides marketplaces, where everyone who has an account can sell their products and buy several items. This phenomenon directly supports the stability of national economic and social productivity. In addition, international friendship in social media is also currently a place where people can assimilate other accustoms from other countries. For instance, Korean drama, which is being global trend for many young girls, spreads a global understanding of Korean culture.  
  
To sum up, the accessibility to social networking has many positive aspects for individuals because they have wide friendships with both domestic and international colleagues. Furthermore, an online social platform is also a great place to conduct business activities and know international life.
Keep track of your word count. Always present 250 words or accept the penalties for not presenting the minimum essay requirement, no matter how small. The acceptable range is 250-300. You are under the word count.  
  
You present an interesting measured response. However, the creative response fell short of a truly informative response due to the baseless opinion. An opinion without reasons does not create an effective hook for the body of paragraphs. It is of vital importance that you establish a preliminary explanation in the first paragraph to create solid reference points in the defense paragraphs.  
  
Review your grammar rules covering conjunctions and prepositions. There are problems in those areas in your presentation which, as you know, has a bearing on the scoring considerations for your essay.  
  
The discussion paragraphs you present clearly support your partial response in terms of disagreement with the proposed opinion. Consider presenting parts you disagree with, even though it has some positive effects next time. That way your extent response will be more balanced. That allows for a comparative, but still single opinion response presentation.
## IELTS Writing task 1 Pie chart

  
  
The pie charts compare household expenditure spending on five different items in the UK and New Zealand from 1980 to 2008.  
It is noticeable that the household budgets spending on food&drink in both the UK and New Zealand saw a decrease over the period shown. Meanwhile, the figures for utility bills in two countries rose slightly.  
  
The proportion of food&drink's figures in the UK fell by a full of 10% from 1980 to 2008;while the equivalent figures for New Zealanders went down just by 4%. By contrast, the household budgets spending on utility bills in the UK experienced an increase ( from 26% to 28% ) over a 28-year period ; and New Zealand home took 27% in 1980, then saw a small rise to 31% in 2008.  
  
The percentage of leisure spending in the UK and New Zealand accounted for 27% and 18% each. By 2008, the amount of money UK residents spending had been twice as much as those in New Zealand. The transport costs and other costs in two countries saw a similar percent, which was around 16% and 10% respectively.  
  
*   
*The charts*
The summary overview is the presentation that gives you the opportunity to run down important information for the leader. I tshould offer concrete and complete information even if the reader does not read your report to the end.The lack of image count and comparison divisions in your presentation prevents the summary from becoming truly informative based on breakdowns. A measurement reference would help clear up the measurement in your tending statement as well. Think of how you would want to lead the information if you could not see the image and write accordingly.  
  
The spacebar is your friend. It is the best word and punctuation separator you can use. Regardless of whether you are separating 2 words with an ampersand in between words, or a semicolon to pause the presentation, you need to press the spacebar to ensure clarity and meaning perception through proper seperation of content. Use it regularly in your presentation.
***## Bullying is a big problem in many schools.

  
What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?***  
  
School violence has always been a debatable topic that has resulted in a variety of negative impacts. There are a great number of rationales that cause this issue, but besides that, it can still be tackled in many effective ways.  
  
Among lots of reasons, there are two root causes that trigger bullying to happen. The first reason is the lack of education related to skills and moral problems in the curriculum. Schools normally pay great attention to their teaching quality in traditional subjects such as Maths, Literature, etc. However, the fundamental things such as how to build up a collaborative relationship with your friends, how to sympathize with other people, are taken for granted. The second reason is the poor nurturing environment from their parents. The way students behaving with each other is the result of the education from their parents. For example, if a kid lives in an environment in which violence in the family happens regularly, they may think that violence is the only way to solve conflicts and it is normal to fight with each other.  
  
Despite all of the aforementioned reasons above, there are lots of solutions to address this urgent problem. A significant solution is that school should have some classes that teach ethics or activities to boost the team-working skill among students, and this should be taken in a serious way just like Maths or English. Another solution that can be taken into consideration is that organizing some workshops which educate parents about the impact they can have on their children. This will prevent lots of childhood pains which have a huge negative impact on the children's behaviors in the future.  
  
To sum up, bullying has always been a hard-to-solve issue and the best way to address this is having a closed collaboration between school and parent because these 2 factors are the biggest factors that shape the mindset and behaviors of the children from a young age.
There are a few things you have to remember when creating your restatement:  
- Don't refer to a debate where there is none. Refer to an actual problem instead.  
- Just like in everyday conversations, give an answer to the questions asked. Do not throw it back to the reader/examiner. You should not avoid giving direct answers as needed.  
  
Your reasoning paragraph is called just that for a reason. It needs establishing topic openers instead of empty introductions. The strength of your opinion comes from your effective and attention catching topic introductions. Establish the topic of the paragraph instead of introducing it in an empty manner.  
  
Develop your explanation with a believable example. Do not overstate the reasons if your explanations and examples cannot connect the varied discussion points. This creates incoherence in your presentation ideas which leads to little supported reasons and lower sores.
**This is writing task 2  
*The expression "Never, never give up" means to keep trying and never stop working for your goals.*  
Do you agree or disagree with this statement.**  
  
There are a lot of virtues which are needed to succeed in any field. Some of them are hardworking, perseverance, tenacity, smartness. Although it is difficult to list these virtues in order, in my opinion perseverance is the most important quality to have because in the long run perseverance trumps other qualities. I agree with the author's statement that we should never be hesitant to keep trying to achieve our goals.  
  
People with great goals know how difficult it is to achieve that goal. They know the amount of sacrifice which must be done in order to achieve that goal. Such goals cannot be achieved within a short amount of time. It is a long journey and failures are inevitable. For eg. to be the best in any sport is not an easy task. It is physically and mentally challenging. It takes years of hard work and sometimes even decades to become the best. On this path the person will definitely face failures. So should he quit? Imagine what would have happened if our favourite sportsperson decided to giveup after failures. We would not have got to witness their magic.  
  
In my opinion, one of the main reasons for people giving up is that they think that their time and energy gets wasted along with other resources. People wonder if it is worth it? In my opinion it is worth it to keep trying because people often fail to realize the learnings which they get when they fail. A person who has failed multiple times has significantly greater knowledge than someone who has given up in the first attempt. Consider a young entrepreneur who failed to establish his company, While this is a failure in one aspect, think about the skill set he must have acquired while working on building his company, such as leadership skills, networking, communication skills. This improved skill set will definitely help him in his future endeveours.  
  
Another downside of not trying is the regret which most people have afterwards. Many a times people give up too soon, only to regret their decision for rest of the life. But persevering for a long time is difficult. It is mentally straining. This could be overcome with a positive attitutde. So to conclude we should never give up on our dreams. Sooner or later we will achieve or goal.
In my opinion, one of the main reasons for people giving up  
This is not really a required discussion point. It unnecessarily lengthens the discussion by veering off-topic. You should always stay focused on the actual discussion target. Rather,,start the paragraph for scoring reasons at:  
  
it is worth it to keep trying  
You don't need to keep saying that this is your opinion because the prompt has made that clear. So start at the topic sentence instead. The discussion relevant part.  
  
But  
Try to avoid using a conjunction to start the sentence. That is academically incorrect as the conjuction is used to connect 2 apposite ideas in one sentence.  
  
So to conclude  
This is not an IELTS test. A conclusion is not needed. You don't have to use this phrase. Instead, use a simple closing sentence to wrap the discussion. Just close. No need to summarize either.
## the loss of particular species

  
  
Controversy surrounding the environmental problem never seems to cease. While many individuals believe/opine that the major environmental issue of our time is the extinction of any living creature on earth. Others assert that there are even more crucial problems to be concerned about. While I agree that reduced biodiversity is a serious problem, I believe that we are facing more pressing environmental concerns.  
  
On the one hand, many people are of the opinion that the extinction of animal species is the main environmental problem. It is true that biodiversity plays a central role in our life, it provides our food, cleans our water, provides medicine for curing illness, and even creates the oxygen that we breathe. As a matter of fact, biodiversity is crucial in enabling us to survive and stay healthy. If we reduce the amount of biodiversity, by driving many species to extinction, we cannot expect that nature will be able to keep providing these things for us.  
  
On the other hand, I side with those who believe that there are more urgent environmental concerns to tackle. One of the main problems could be air pollution. Such contamination is created by fumes of vehicles and gases in industrial factories, creating serious health problems for humans such as lung cancer and respiratory diseases. In addition, climate change is also creating detrimental impacts on human life. More specifically, extreme weather events have become more intense and frequent, like earthquakes in Japan or frequent storms in Vietnam, which cause major human and asset losses.  
  
In conclusion, although the reduction of wildlife species is a serious problem, I believe that other major environmental concerns should also be considered.  
  
(278 words)