dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
You did well in presenting your analysis of the graph. It is clear that you spent time analyzing the line graph information. You also wrote 188 words, which is good enough to get an overall impressive score in terms of cohesiveness, coherence, and vocabulary skills. There are very little errors in this essay. One error that I saw was that you used the wrong noun phrase when referring to the plural form of graduate which is graduates. There is also a subject-verb agreement issue in the last paragraph when referring to the female graduates (was = were). Remember that you also need to be mindful of your word choices. Don't use complex words when simple references will suffice (indicating = showing).
## our second houses

  
  
Last year, we all witnessed one of the most dangerous disaster in Australia. There was a huge fire that destroyed most important parts of tropical forests. Until now, we haven't found out what exactly caused this disaster. But it feel like that we, as human beings, partly need to have responsibility for what happened to the nature.  
  
Firstly, we need to mention the influence of our daily-life activities on the nature of our Earth. A tremendous increase in our production leads to the larger amount of C02 released into our atmosphere, therefore, makes an increase in temperature of our Earth with a significant amount. As a result of that, the quantity of rain day after day will be decreased so much that just only one candle also can get rid of the whole forest in some hours.  
  
Secondly, we don't have any consistent attitude towards protecting and revitalizing our forest after excessive usage. How we can do that ???  
We need to organize much more campaigns that encourage everyone from all over the world to take part in growing trees on our lands. Maybe we cannot see the effects immediately. But our planet will make use of our trees for reducing CO2 and due to that, our planet can be cooler.  
  
In summary, forests are like our second houses, so if we care about our life, we also need focus on their health. If not, we can kill ourselves in future.
If you are discussing only 2 topics in the body paragraphs, there is no need to numerically list it. Instead, use topic sentences at the start of the paragraph. That creates a more fluid presentation and avoids the feeling of choppiness while going from paragraph to paragraph. Use transition sentences towards the end of the first paragraph to create a flowing discussion presentation into the next topic. Avoid run-on sentences. Learn when to use a period instead of a comma. The term "therefore" is often used to start a sentence. It not usually used in the middle of the sentence. When writing formal papers, use only 1 punctuation mark, never 3 or more. You are not writing for a comic strip.
## money can't guarantee happiness

  
  
In today's life, an increasing number of people are concerned about money. Nonetheless, whether or not money brings the happiness to human beings is a controversial issue. My view is that whoever has a lot of money is not always the happiest.  
  
To begin with, people with a lot of money are often very stressed as having plenty of money can lead to the fear of losing it. It is clear that wealthy people often live in a house which has hi-tech security systems to keep out the rest of the world. They can also become snobbish about whom they meet due to the fear that people without money are potential thieves. After a while, the rich start to believe that the people around them are only after one thing: having a share in their money. This makes rich people distrustful even to good and loyal people who are their genuine friends. These people do not have happy lives.  
  
Secondly, to get richer, some people are willing to do bad things. To have more money, they sell sub-standard products regardless of the law of the government. Furthermore, they use plenty of chemicals in agriculture to increase production no matter whether it has a serious impact on the environment. Nevertheless, with these people they have a lot of money, they are not the happiest of people because they are going to see the bad results to the environment from what they did soon.  
  
Last but not least, buying everything cannot make someone happy. Although money is required to buy anything in this world such as luxury cars and modern homes, money has never bought their family's relationship, true friendship and love. Being rich can make them isolated in their big home, hence, they might not find true relationships to share their life. These people always live with anxiety; thus, they are not happy.  
  
In conclusion, even though having some money is significant, in my view, I repeat that people with a lot of money might not be the happiest because their lives are more stressful, they are insecure and isolated; therefore, to have a happy life, we do not need to have plenty of money, we need to have family and true friends to share joy and sorrow.
Try not to write more than 300 words for this essay. You will run out of time to proof read and edit your essay before submission. You time to make sure that you submit a perfect essay to the examiner. This is a direct question essay, do you agree or disagree? In the introduction, your last sentence should be a direct response to the question. You should say "I disagree with the given idea because..." That lays the foundation for the rest of the discussion of your essay which should be comprised of 2 supporting paragraphs. However, what you wrote are not reasons why these people would be unhappy. Rather, you are making a judgement call based on perceived actions. You are not making a comparison of money making them happy, you are simply calling them criminals in one of your paragraphs. That is not the point of the essay. People with money believe that money can buy happiness. So do people who don't have money, in some cases. So who is to say that the people with lots of money are not happy? That should have been the discussion consideration of your essay, not the actions of the people with money. The discussion should have been based on your personal perception of what makes a person, or you, happy. This is after all, a personal opinion essay.
***Children should be forced to read novels from every major genre, including fiction, science fiction, sports, romance, comics, horror, and crime. Being widely read will mean children will have a better understanding of the world around them.*  
  
## To what extent do you agree or disagree?**  
  
There have been the controversies between the notions of whether allow children to approach with all sorts of novels to absorb the variety of the general knowledge. From my perspective, I would affirm that this ideology seems to be too risky to proceed as the drawbacks it brought back is extensively detrimental and I will illustrate by the following aspects.  
  
On the first hand, a number of children is not guaranteed to determine if the books is valuable and practical enough to apply in the realistic life. With the immature awareness as well as the unprofessional dilemma skills, they can not become deterrent from the influence of danger - potential books. To these innocent mentality, it is apparent that they are unable to distinguish between the obscure and relevant knowledge to adapt with. Unfortunately for incapable ones, they might fall into virtual worlds and be witnessed with psycho stages. A good point in the debates would be the horror novels. they can easily attach with vulnerability and be devastated by frightening scenes which can damage mental health.  
  
On the other aspect, nonetheless, kids who aren't possibly exerted impact ought to, in contrast, be likely acknowledge and establish the fundamental 'shield' to intercept from luring and negative stance towards inhumane observation. For instance, they adequately considers violence and delinquencies are inappropriate and detrimental to society and themselves. this could regard as a talent due to the fact that they temporarily set up the self - protection in psychology at a very young ages where, especially, a magnificent number of adults contemporary are still unable to acquire.  
  
From the indications we discuss above, parents should be the leaders in raising child's mental development. whether we apply this teaching method or not, we - guiders should supervise them in all cases , to check if their growing revolution is at right path and effective.
First up, do not exaggerate the importance of the discussions being presented. The prompt offered you a simple discussion. Not a controversial discussion. Neither is the topic a controversy. The proper term to use would have been "discussion" or "points of view" but most definitely not "controversy". Use simple, rather than complex words in the writing of these essays. It helps you to avoid vocabulary errors. You have focused so much on trying to impress the examiner with your vocabulary knowledge that you failed to see that the words you have chosen to use do not make for a coherent sentence. Much less a cohesive paragraph. What you wrote are unnecessarily complex sentences that do not make much sense to a native English speaker. Perhaps you were translating from your vernacular, which is what often poses problems for the test takers. What sounds right in your mother tongue will not always translate properly into English due to word choices and sentence structure issues.
## consequences of living abroad

  
  
Nowadays, moving abroad has become more attractive to people since countries now have so much more to offer. They are likely to move abroad for work, academic purposes and to improve or even start a new life. Travelling overseas has a lot of advantages, however, drawbacks and challenges are lined up to its positive aspects which demand newcomers to overcome.  
  
First of all, living abroad offers better opportunities, which allow people to build concrete plans for their future. Moving away from home gives them the chance to get out of their previous safe zone with the change of scenery, to buy them more time, start over and reorient their life. Surrounded with all new sights, sounds and aromas give encouragements to newcomers to explore more and challenge themselves in different fields; this plays a vital role in their life ahead. Especially, the sense of cosmopolitan gives people chances to have access to and obtain a variety of culture resources. For instant, international students with the mindset of learning abroad are often expected to modernize and improve their home country after years of spending time studying overseas. Thirdly, it gives them opportunities to meet and bond with new people from many different countries and ethnicities. Apparently, The expansion in their circle gives them a wide range of prospects and allows them to gradually build better and stronger relationships that may help them later on in the future.  
  
On the contrary, drawbacks of getting away are equally lined up to its advantages. Firstly, being homesick is absolutely inevitable. They could only keep in touch with family and friends via video call without face-to-face interactions. Whenever loneliness and the lack of emotional stability stacks up, nobody can come and cheer them up. Similarly, the lack of sympathy and help from others may heavily impact on newcomers for a long time at first, eventually leading to the stage of losing one's mind will stay long-drawn, and will rush them back to go back home.Thirdly, the misunderstanding in new language and culture appears to be a tough barrier, which demands newcomers lots of time to immerse themselves in. People who insist on refusing to accept the differences of their host country might fall in despair and totally avoid to be in social activities. Lastly, a lot of people find it totally hard to be able to celebrate and participate in their homeland's customary holidays. If this persists for a long time, some might lose their sense of home, and finally become complete foreigners.  
  
In conclusion, moving away from home country has number of pros and cons. However, all of them could be solved if one's determination is strong enough to proof against the rest of negative aspects.
Your presentation is riddled with grammatical errors and sentence structure problems. For starters, you seem to have a problem keeping count. You always start out with "Firstly", skip "Secondly", and go directly to "Thirdly" every single time you try to count out your discussion points. It would be best if you simply avoid counting altogether and just separate the discussion points by using a new paragraph for every topic you wish to discuss. The transition from paragraph to paragraph is a bit choppy. Use transition sentences at the end of paragraphs to create a smoother paragraph presentation for the reader from one paragraph to the next.
***It is neither possible nor useful to provide university places for a high proportion of young people.  
## To what extent do you agree or disagree?***  
  
In this knowledge-based society, more and more people need to have an university degree to gain a better life, especially in young adults. However, it is both impossible and unuseful to provide almost all young people to university places. Therefore, I totslly agree with this point of view.  
  
Firstly, having an university degree no longer has a vital role in the future of young people even in competitive society. In many countries, especially Germany, vocational training has been more popular because it enhances the ability of students to not only gain life skills and practical experience but also open the door to better job opportunities in later life. Furthermore, if every young adults are accepted for university, this factor would cause the imbalance of economical situation and damage the development of a country. This is because there is a little employees who choose a blue-collar jobs such as worker in a factory, farmers and so on.  
  
Secondly, it is impossible to provide almost all young people with access to tertiary education. In Vietnam, for example, the population has increased significantly, nearly 100 million people, and ypung people accounted for the highest propportion. Therefore, it is simply unrealistic for university to accommodate almost young adults . Moreover, the demand for entering college never ceases to grow. This leads to a problem that the poor suffer from their finance due to exorbitant education costs in many financially independent universities such as National Economics University. I think that nearly all young people continue to study tertiary education is impossible.  
  
In conclusion, for the reasons mentioned above, I would argue that the idea of pursuing university education for a high proportion of young people is completely unrealistic.
You created a contradiction in your introduction. In the first sentence, you claim that college education is important. Yet, in the first body paragraph, you say that college education is not important. So, which is it? You need to make sure that you do not present contradictory statements in your essay as it could actually harm your thesis sentence which is, you totally agree that it is impossible and not useful to provide university places for all young people. Your concluding paragraph totally changed the discussion topic from the original as well.  
  
Original Topic: It is neither possible nor useful to provide university places for a high proportion of young people.  
Your Topic: ... the idea of pursuing university education for a high proportion of young people is completely unrealistic.  
  
The concluding paragraph should only summarize the previous content, not create a totally different discussion topic.
*Hi everyone, kindly need your help to fix my passage, a lot :))*  
  
## safety rules for drivers

  
  
**Rules to remember when driving at high speed**  
*When driving, drivers must aware the rules below to make sure the safety for themselves as well as people around.*  
  
***1. Keep hands in 9 o'clock and 3 o'clock place***  
Drivers should keep their hands in 9 o'clock and 3 o'clock position to make sure the safety when driving at high-speed.  
Experienced drivers must know this rule when holding the wheels, but not everyone seriously applies. In fact, keeping hands in the right position helps drivers steer well and reduce collisions when driving at high-speed.  
  
***2. Do not play music too loud***  
According to a university report in Canada, playing music at 95 decibel will cut the driver's reflexes by up to 20%. Besides, the sound will drown out the engine noise, making it difficult to feel the correct speed when traveling.  
  
***3. Adjust the sitting seat correctly and comfortably***  
Only when the seat is stable then the driver can focus on driving the car in the best way. Note, when sitting too far, driver's foot will not be able to fully break, so adjust so that your wrists are placed above the steering wheel and sit at a right height for a clear view. At this time, you will be completely confident to control the speed on all roads.  
  
***4. Expand the vision***  
Do not just look at the tail lights of the car in front or focus on the corner, look from the front, back and around to handle unexpected situations.  
  
***4. Expand the vision***  
Dock car is extremely dangerous action when running at high speeds. You should only accelerate or slow down so that the vehicle does not lose balance and there is a risk of skidding at any time.  
  
***5. Do not let go car***  
Not all routes provide conditions for you to show your ability to drive at high speeds, so drive quickly, at the right place to avoid endangering yourself and other drivers. people around. It is known that the number of supercars in accidents in the city is larger than the national highway, although authorities have warned that the car should only run at average speed.  
  
***6. Speed up at the right time and place***  
Not all routes provide conditions for you to show your ability to drive at high speeds, so drive quickly, at the right place to avoid endangering yourself and other drivers. people around. It is known that the number of supercars in accidents in the city is much larger than the national highway, although authorities have warned that the car should only run at average speed.
There are several misuses of descriptive words in this essay. Instead of "place", the correct term is "position". When citing researched sources, you need to make sure to fully refer to the source instead of just "According to a university report in Canada..." Also, you should never refer to the driver's seat as a "sitting seat", that doesn't make any sense. In number 4, you should have combined the related information instead of placing number 4 two times. Also, it is not a "dock" car but a "dark" car. I have no idea what you mean by number 5. You can't let go of a car even if you want to. Did you mean to say , "Do not go over the speed limit"?
## The diagram shows the stages in the process of milk production

  
Overall, it is evident that the whole process involves 5 primary steps, starting from cows is grazed and ending with milk products.  
Milk comes from the dairy cows, which are grazed in the farms. Firstly, once mature, the dairy cows will be came to a milking machine that is repeated twice a day. This is followed by milk is stored in refrigeration storage before milk tanker daily delivery to dairy. Next in the factory milk, milk is converted to cheese, cream and butter or pasteurized and packaged. Finally, packaged milk will be shown to sell in supermarkets and shops.  
  
*
The explanatory essay that you have written will not get a passing score. It is only 99 words long. The requirement is at least 150 words for this essay. Therefore, the score will be an automatic fail. You have not written enough words to prove English comprehension, vocabulary, and writing skills that could qualify you for studies abroad. At this point, I cannot continue reviewing your essay because of the lack of word requirement. Try to write the same essay again. This time, make sure to meet the 150 word requirement. If you can, aim to write 175 words. That will be ample enough to assess your English comprehension, vocabulary, and writing skills.
## Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features

  
  
The table compares the number of Ashdown Museum visitors before and after refurbishment for a one year period each. The pie chart illustrates the proportion of visitor satisfaction during the same period,  
  
Overall, the number of people who satisfied with the museum increased after the refurbishment. Meanwhile, the proportion of people who didn't respond was same during the period surveyed.  
  
Regarding to the table, the number of visitors showed a significant increase of 18,000 to 92,000 over the whole period. Moreover, the proportion of people who satisfied or very satisfied with the museum also increased from 30% to 40% and from 15% to 35% respectively.  
  
On the other hand, the proportion of people who dissatisfied or very dissatisfied decreased from 40% to 15% and from 10% to 5% respectively. The percentage of people who didn't respond to survey remained at 5%, yet the exact number of those increased.  
  
*
This essay is short by 2 words to meet the minimum word requirement. You will be scored down with points deductions for the lacking word count. The more words you lack, the greater the deductions. That miscalculation on your part alone will be enough to fail you this test. The images indicated are pie charts, not tables. Accuracy is the name of the game here. Learn the various images used in the test and make sure to use the proper image reference in your writing. You must also refrain from using informal word presentations such as "don't". This is an academic paper so keep the academic tone throughout. Also, remember that when using written year references, a hyphen must be used to indicate the connection between the words such as "one-year".