dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
**Some organisations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance.  
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.**  
Several companies have made rules for their work-force to wear dress which have company symbols every day. In contrast, many people think an effort that employee give to the company is more essential than the appearance that worker usually show. However, there are many considerations that need to think about which one is the best weather dress formally or give more portion on work activity.  
  
Formal or appropriate dress sometimes give more contribution to a company, especially for which directly connect to public service. It happens because people will get good impression if they see a company who wear same dress in office. They will have an opinion that professionalism is number one and can be proved by their clothes. For instance, in Mandiri Bank, employee has to wear dress formally to increase the number of customers who want to save their money. I think people will understand that employee has good education background and can solve the problem quickly. Besides that, wearing good dress will show that both employee and boss are worker, so there is nothing different and make a harmony and good culture.  
  
However, there is another option say that quality of work is more significant than wearing good dress. The purpose of someone in office is working. So, they do not need to think about a dress that they want to wear in office, but still obey culture in a country. People will feel more comfortable if they can use clothes that they prefer to use. It can raise the spirit of working and give more contribution to the company. For instance, In Pertamina, worker does not need to use same dress. They can use anything because purpose of the company is getting more benefit not how beautiful the office is.  
  
All in all, dress formally can give good impact to the company but it does not improve the quality of work. In my opinion, the company should emphasise the purpose of job and let the worker wear whatever clothes that they want.
... work-force to wear dress which have company symbols every day.  
  
1. Hello Mardian, based on Cambridge Dictionary (NOT KAMUSQU, wkwkw) dress is refer to women clothing that covers the top of half of the body and hangs down over the legs. My suggestion is use another word that looks more appropriate  
  
best ~~weather~~whether dress formally or give...  
  
2. you make typo. Weather means "cuaca". Whether is conjunction.  
For instance, in Mandiri Bank, employee ~~has to~~ wear dress formally  
  
3. has to wear ??  
  
who want ~~to~~ save their money.  
  
4. infinitive form is not appropriate.
Hello Mardian!  
Allow me to give you some suggestion.  
  
**Make a clear definion about "dress smartly"**  
...to wear *dress which have company symbols*every day.  
...is the best weather *dress formally* or give more portion on work activity.  
...Formal or *appropriate dress* sometimes give more  
Besides that, wearing **good dress**will show that both  
So, we can know "good drees" that you mean in body paragraph is refer to what definition  
  
For instance, in *Mandiri Bank, employee has to wear dress formally to increase the number of customers* who want to save..  
**I think, it will better if you make it general for bank companies since most of bank use formal dress. It can make your idea stronger.**  
  
Keep practice for make it perfect :)
Hello Mr. Mardian :)  
Let me give you some suggestions for you ^\_^  
  
actually, I like your essay overall has been already good enough for make reader understood what do you mean :) But it will be better if you more use various vocabularies to make your lexical resources points booster.  
  
Here some similar words for some words which you have repeated more than once :)  
--company ==> corporation, workplace, enterprise, firm, business, venture and etc.  
--dress ==> I mean this not suitable for your essay context, better if you use similar words such as : uniform, outfit work-forces, dress casual works and etc.  
  
Keep practice :) Good Luck :)
**Some organization believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance.  
Discuss both these views and give you own opinion**  
  
Wearing office-look clothes is important regarded to some enterprises argument. However, others say that quality of work bring more positive impact than just use fashionable clothes. In my opinion, both of them are same important, but having great working performance is more useful.  
  
Nowadays, many countries entering Industrialization era, which means that many people today work in Industry. One of thing that can reach professional value in the company is using International standard that can be shown from the way the worker using clothes. Some advantages that can produce by using office clothes are increase professionality, comfortable to see, and the most important is usually the clothes contain the company identity.  
  
However, one of the most important factor that can increase enterprise popularity is because their labors has great quality of work. So, this is more useful than just make some suitable clothes for work. However, some expertise said that research shows that usually people can work better if they are given the chance to select their own-clothes freely. Unfortunately, it only works at the few people, and much of them don't have any problem with their clothes.  
  
All in all, although using smart-dress can become the indicator of organizations professional ratings, customers will be more like if all workers can show their best performance and high quality of work rather than just good clothes, because action speak louder than just personal appearance.
Hello Faizunaa17  
I have some advice, hope it can help you  
  
**.....there are some condition that you need to use preposition**  
the way (of) the worker using clothes  
the clothes contain (of) the company identity  
  
**......redundant word. better if you use other conjuction word such *therefore***  
However, one of the most important factor  
However, some expertise said that research shows  
  
**.....i think this paragraph did not answers the task, because the answer is just value quality of work, not about different between clothes and quality of work**  
  
However, one of the most important factor that ...
WRITING TASK 2 UNIT 2 C PAGE 24  
**Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. both schools and parents are responsible for solving this problem.  
To what extend do you agree with this statements?**  
  
Over time, the most young have several activities every day. It makes them unsure to life far from healthy. Many young need responsibility from parents and school to help and avoid them from unhealthy life away especially food. I tend to disagree if only parents and schools can help young. But children can manage themselves from bad style in their life.  
  
Many children are enjoy with modern style. This cause by many activities that children doing every day such as school, course and playing sport. For instance, children ensure to eat more junk food than traditional food. As a result, children easier to get diseases than before and makes them in bad condition. So, they must be careful with food that they eat such as keep eat with healthy food and they need responsibility from their parents and schools.  
  
Parents and schools are two aspects can help children who always life in bad situation. Because children have strong relationship with their parents and they always spend their time at home with their parents such as in before go to school, after school and weekend. And children have good communication with members in the schools such as teacher. Many ways can parents and school doing for keep their children. For instance, before young go to school, parents give food for lunch in school and schools must have hygiene cafe to children who want to bus some food. So it makes children keep their healthy.  
  
On the other hand, children who want be healthy, they must to prepare food themselves may choose what they buy or eat more carefully consider a range of aspect that include quality and hygiene the food. Because, only they are who know in good condition. For example, they prepare to eat fresh food with vegetable than they eat junk food. So it can keep them from diseases.  
  
To sum up, parents and schools have high responsibility to hoard children from bad lifestyle especially food. But, in my opinion, children have the biggest responsibility for themselves, because just they are who know their real condition.
Over time, ~~the most young~~**infants / pupils** have several activities every day  
  
Many ~~young~~**children / pupils/ teenager / teen** need responsibility from ...  
  
Young is kind of *adjective*it is not noun. So, you can't place it there.  
  
... and schools can help ~~young~~**young people / other words that already i given before**  
  
~~**But**~~**Because**children can manage themselves ...  
  
But is refer to contradict your previous sentence. The sentence looks like not contradict, so you it kind of strength your idea.  
  
This ~~cause~~**is caused** by many activities that ...  
  
Remember ! passive form
Hello,  
  
Over time, the most young [people][you have to make it clear, who is young] have several activities every day  
activities that children do~~ing~~ every day such as [going to ] school, [taking ] course and playing sport [remember the parallel structures]  
such as keep eat with healthy food [how about >> keep eating healthy food ]  
children who always ~~life~~ [it must be verb >> live ] in bad situation  
they must ~~to~~ [remember that modals are follow by to ] prepare food themselves  
  
......the biggest responsibility for themselves, because just they are who know their real condition. >> you have to paraphrase this sentence, so it is not same with the body sentence exactly.  
  
Gluck :D
Hai willyy! here are my suggestions for you  
  
Over time, the most young have several activities every day.  
the most + adjective (more than 2 syllables)  
so, ~~the most young~~**youngest**  
but, youngest is not a proper word. you can change into children/teenagers  
  
It makes them unsure ~~to~~**of** life far from healthy.  
to + V1 --> life is an adjective.  
  
Many children ~~are~~ enjoy with modern style.  
  
........... such as school, course and playing sport.  
conjunction 'and' must be equal for its noun/verb which is linked with it  
  
As a result, children **are** easier to get diseases ~~than before and makes them in bad condition~~ you have mentioned about the comparisons, so do not need to mention it over again  
  
GOODLUCK!
**Why open a school? To close a prison - Nadia Lopez**  
  
Mott Hall Bridges Academy opened in 2012 that have simple target: open a school to close a prison. It is located in the Brownsville section of Brooklyn, one of the most underserved and violent neighborhoods in all of New York city. In the early opening, they face numerous of challenges like finding teacher who can emphatize with the complexities of disadvantaged community, and lack of funding technology, low parental involvement, and neighborhood gangs that recruit childern as early as fourth grade. For the first class, they just have 45 children who want to join in this school. Some student in ths school have different goal such as be engineers, scientists, entrepreneurs, and even leaders who can and will take over this world. As a result, by some struggle process, they have had three graduating classes, a a 98 per cent graduating rate. It make this school going to some of the most competitive high schools in New York City.
hi...  
  
Mott Hall Bridges Academy was opened in 2012 ~~that~~which have simple target that is open a school ...  
In the early ~~opening~~time , they face numerous of challenges ~~like~~such as finding teacher who can ~~emphatize~~emphasize with the complexities of ~~disadvantaged~~ disadvantage ~~community,~~communities , lack of funding technology, low ... (your sentence too bulky, so you can write your sentence in 2 or 3 sentences)  
  
Some student in ~~ths~~(misspelling) school have different goal such as ...  
... had three graduating classes, ~~a~~at 98 per cent graduating rate. It make this school going to ~~some of~~ the most (...) in New York ~~City.~~  
  
thank you
Hello Mathew8 :)  
  
... opened in 2012 ~~that have~~had simple target: ...  
It ~~is~~ was located in the Brownsville section of Brooklyn,...  
In the early opening, they ~~face~~faced numerous of challenges like hard in finding teacher who (...) and neighborhood gangs that ~~recruit~~recruited~~childern~~children as early as fourth grade.  
  
.., they just ~~have~~ had 45 children who ~~want~~wanted to join in this school. Some ~~student~~students in ~~ths~~this school ~~have~~had different ~~goal~~goals such as ~~be~~being engineers, scientists, ...  
  
... struggle process, they ~~have~~had had three graduating classes, ~~a~~ a 98 per cent graduating rate. It ~~make~~made this school going to some ...
Hello mathew, i will give you suggestion:  
1. Be care full tense using, please make it clear  
  
Mott Hall Bridges Academywas opened in 2012 that ...  
  
It ~~is~~was located in the Brownsville ...  
  
they was be faced~~face~~ numerous of challenges...  
  
2. Be care full with your spelling  
  
the complexities of ~~disadvantaged~~ disadvantage ~~community~~ ,communities,  
  
3. Be are full singular.plural tense  
  
Some ~~studen~~students in the school have different
**Some organization believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance.  
Discuss both these views and give you own opinion**  
  
Nowadays, many factories can be found in the industrial city in several countries. Many companies think that it is important to have law about uniform standardization for employees, but several corporations believe that they must have work-spaces with the best quality to make other companies respect to them. Personally, I think in one organisation is essential to have high quality workers, but with the uniform standardization every employee can be manage their appearance and it can give positive effect for a company.  
  
Several organizations say that staff members must use the dress smartly, especially uniform. Because with good looking employees, they can make other companies respect to them and they can be famous in another group with good rules for their work-spaces. But I think, companies should be smart to make this rule, because organizations have several division with different duties. So, for people such as in the oil and gas company when they must go to field to survey or data acquisition, they do not need to wear uniform.  
  
However, there are other corporations that say they need higher quality of workers than appearance. Because some organisations need good workers to develop and to give new innovation to improve quality of companies. For instance, geophysics Survey Company need the best employees in the field to find a unique data. They do not have some rules about dress smartly for their staff members and just thinking employees can do their job in precise time.  
  
To sum up, uniform rules is significant to increase status corporations, but quality of work from workers is very essential to develop companies.
Nowadays, many factories can be found in the industrial ...this statement does not have any relation to dress smartly .  
  
... staff members must ~~use the dress smartly~~ dress smartly, ...  
But I think, companies should be smart to make this rule, because [....] they do not need to wear uniform.  
it is concession or supporting statement for you idea? if it is concession, i think you need more statement to support your idea since the case is both views so you need to make your idea balance. but if it is supporting statement for your idea, it's too contrast with your idea.  
  
To sum up, uniform rules is significant to increase ...  
To make better essay, you have to create at least 2 sentences in conclusion.
Hii, here is my advice for your writing:  
  
1. Nowadays, many factories in the industrial city can be found ~~in the industrial city~~ in several countries.  
  
2. Many (it makes repetition, it's better to change with "some" ) some .....  
  
3. Personally, I think ~~in one organisation~~it is essential to have high quality ... (your TS still confusing, what's your opinion? agree or disagree? )  
  
4. To sum up, uniform rules is significant to increase status corporations, but quality...  
( at the end, after give conclusion, you should put your suggestion or fear )  
  
I think you did it well, good job!
Hello Willy!  
Allow me to give you some suggestion.  
  
*But I think, companies should be smart to make this rule, [....] data acquisition, they do not need to wear uniform.*  
**1. It is so contradictive with your first statement willy, you have to consistent since this is in same body paragraph. It will better if you say this as your personal statement in new body.**  
  
**2. Make it well developed. Give you idea, reason, example, than the effect, much better you add conclusion.**  
  
*->Personally, I think in one organisation is essential to have high quality workers, but ...  
->To sum up, uniform rules is significant to increase status corporations, but quality of work ...*  
**You have to be consisten, since your introduction and conclusion, have contradiction statement. Even you do not have to make clear to what extend you, at least you have to make your introduction and conclusion relate.**  
  
I hope it can help you willy!  
Keep practice for make it perfect :\*
HELLO WILLY :)  
Here are my suggestion for you writing, hope it will be useful for you next time :)  
  
**Overall, I really enjoy your essay, but I think there are some parts in your introduction that your not give clearly explanation.**  
Nowadays, many factories can be found in the industrial city in several countries. ==> Will be better if you can give some addition after this statement.  
  
**I also find some words that your repeat again in same paragraph,****Better if you use other words to boost your lexical resources points :)**  
*... it is important to have law about **uniform standardization** for employees, but several corporations (...) to make other **companies respect to them**.  
... but with **the uniform standardization** every employee can be manage ...*  
  
..., they can make other**companies respect to them** and they can be...  
  
Keep Practice Willy :)
A breakdown which presents in the graph displays a prediction between 2000 and 2100 in the number of plants and animals species in the tropical forest which closed to extinction while the main causes of the extinction are displayed in the chart. The most noticeable fact is that the proportion of disappear species in the initial years is the lowest while in 2060 is forecast, It will reach a peak. Also, the main induces of the disappearance is caused by human impact.  
  
A more detailed look at the graph reveals that in 2000, the quantity of extinction was in 5,000 species while from 2020 to 2040 onward, the proportion of disappearances are foreseen will growth significantly and will reach a boom by 45,000 figures. Meanwhile, in the 40 years future, the total number of figure will drop dramatically by 21,000 species.  
  
When we look the main induces of the species extinctions, the human impact is the highest contribution to the disappearance at 81.3% while natural events donates at 18.7%. The proportion of treats which provide the highest donation to plant life is agriculture activities in 18.7% while the lowest contribution is plantations by 14%.  
  
*
Hello,  
Hope you doing well, lemme give you some suggestion  
  
A breakdown which presents in the graph [....] the disappearance is caused by human impact . (this sentence prone to make me confuse)(my suggestion, you need to manage your sentence properly, so it will be more easily to understand the main idea you have tried to explain)  
  
... the total number of (a) figure will drop ...  
  
When we look (at)the main induces of the species extinctions (the main reason that induce the extinction of species), the human impact ~~is~~(gives) the highest contribution ~~to~~(of) the (creatur) disappearance at 81.3% while natural events donate~~s~~ at 18.7%.  
  
\*writing task 1 is about the comparison, you have to more compare the data  
\*you can mention the highest, smallest, lowest and etc data to attract reader attention  
\*you have done well, yet you need to manage your sentence to be more clearly to understand  
  
good luck and keep writing :)
**Each year, the crime rate increases.  
What are the causes of crime and what could be done to prevent this rise in criminal activity?**  
  
According to some research, level of crime steadly increase in the world. Some people or group of people who have authority have to create a new policy to tackle this terms. This essay be able to discuss about the causes and sollutions to solve this condition.  
  
Some people believe that there are two causes of deliquency: from suspect and victim side. Wrongdoing such theft can occur when the victim careless. To illustrate, sometimes there is a unaware person who take their treasure at random place. It give opportunity to other person to commit a crime. On the other hand, a crime often occurs because the condition of the victim requires to do a misconduct. It indicate that crime have two predominant reasons.  
  
Apart from the provious problems, there are some ways that local government can use to tackle this trend. Firstly from education side, the authority has to make an educational activity that transfer knowlegde about how to shield a crime. For example, the local police can organize an event which describes how to protect our family from case of crime. Secondly from technology side, the government can applicate a piece of modern technology which can decrease level of wrongdoing. One example that springs to mind is using close-circuit television (CCTV) in some public areas such as park and central market. In conclusion, government has main role to solve a crime.  
  
All in all, even thought the level of crime always increases these days, the government has predominant role to inhibit this terms. I totally believe that the authority can reduce delincuency with using ways such i illustrates above.
According to some research**S**, level of crime ~~steadly~~**STEADILY** increase in the world.  
This essay ~~be~~**IS** able to discuss about the causes and ~~sollutions~~**SOLLUTIONS** to solve this condition.  
  
It give**S** opportunity to other ~~person~~**PEOPLE** to commit a crime.  
It indicate**S** that crime have ...  
  
**other** + **(plural)** >>>>> **OTHER PEOPLE**
Hi methew, I want you obtain some suggestions from me  
  
here we go  
  
According to ~~some research~~, **[make sure your essay has a concreate data and it is valid]** level of crime steadly ...  
  
Wrong doing such theft can occur when the victim is careless **[do not forget your subject+verb]**.  
... who take their treasure at the random place. It gives opportunity ~~to~~for other person ...  
  
... that local government ~~can use to~~tackles this trend.  
..., the authority has ~~to~~ make an educational activity that transfer the knowlegde about how to shield a crime **[make sure your essay, "how to shield a crime" it means you want protect the crime]**.  
  
..., the government can ~~applicate~~apply a piece of modern (...) decrease level of wrong doing .  
... to mind is using C lose-circuit T elevision (CCTV) in some ...  
In conclusion, the government has main ...  
  
... crime always increases in these days, the government ...  
  
**[keep writing and go ahead]**