dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
***Some people believe that students in schools learn better when they study in groups. Other people say that students learn better when they study on their own. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.***  
  
## A contrast between studying alone and group study

  
  
People have different views about whether studying in groups or alone is more beneficial to students' performance. This essay will discuss both sides of the argument and give a personal thought at the end.  
  
To begin with, it is understandable why people think that students can enhance their performance when studying in groups. One reason is that this way of studying helps suppress procrastination. In order to maintain their position in a group, students will have to work harder and finish their parts of the shared projects on time or else, they will be kicked out by other members. Gradually, people become more active and less lazy in their study resulting in better performance at school. Another positive impact of learning in groups comes from a sense of competition. In a competitive environment, each individual has the urge to surpass her peers and thus, great results come inevitably.  
  
However, there are valid reasons to support the idea that studying alone improves students' results. Many people cannot focus on their task when being surrounded by others. Learning by themselves, therefore, is ideal for them to fully concentrate on dealing with their business and achieve personal study outcomes. In addition, studying alone allows students to obtain lessons at their own pace. Because they are not under any pressure of catching up with others, people will be able to understand every lesson thoroughly and effectively.  
  
Based on my experience, I believe that group study brings more significant impacts on students' performance. One evidence is that many of my classmates in high school and university who studied in groups scored greatly in examinations whereas only some who chose the other study option succeeded.  
  
In conclusion, while it does benefit to study alone, I think that academic performance will be significantly improved when students work in groups.  
  
*This is my first attempt to outline the structure suggested by Holt so there will be a lot of issues occurred. Please give me all your corrections to get this essay a 7. Much appreciated.*
## Do the benefits of social media outweigh the harms?

  
  
Advancement in technology have greatly affected interactions within the communities. Although, online communications are well known across all age groups nowadays, there are risks identified in providing individual identifiable data on the world wide web. The writer will further discuss why the advantages outweighs the disadvantages of online interactions.  
  
To begin with, online communications have undeniable negative effect on personal and public communications. Due to the speed in transmitting information online, individuals nowadays have the ability to instantly spread unverified information to millions of people in just one click of a button. This is a serious concern in communities who receives false emergency warnings which alarms citizens causing panic that may result to physical injuries and emotional stress. While, on personal communications, exchanging messages online are seen as an impersonal alternative to face to face interactions, with emphasis when an individual sends out electronic mails or instant messages a greeting instead of joining relatives or close friends on a special day personally.  
  
On the other hand, exchanging messages online makes communications among families separated due to overseas employment easy. Family members abroad now have the ability to check with their loved ones anytime and instantly. While government and private agencies serving the public can utilize the speed in transmitting information across the world wide web to spread verified emergency preparedness/awareness information and news to the citizens. Moreover, the convenience of sharing information online, provides the ability to introduce their culture to other nationalities on the internet.  
  
In conclusion, advantages of social media outweigh its disadvantages that brings more value to the society as a whole.
(It's my first try to task 2, please give some suggestions. I will be very appreciated.)  
  
## funds for film industries

  
  
There are many movies product nowadays. But most of us prefer to watch foreign films than local movies. In my opinion, I partly agree.  
  
On the one hand, directors will have a less financial problem because most of the movie needs a lot of costs. If it does not make more audiences to watch the film, directors may bankrupt. However, if the government gave support to them, it can also publicize to let more locals know the importance of local movies, and it will be a win-win situation.  
  
On the other hand, if the filmmaker accepted the assistance from the government, it might be two problems. Firstly, the movie may be a tool to talk about how good they are. People will lose interest in the movie and give a bad impression to the local movie. Secondly, some controversial issue like drugs, sex race problems will be prohibited. It will limit the directors to structure the contract of the film. Everyone does not want to see the same type of movie all the time.  
  
In conclusion, government support has pros and cons, people need to think carefully about whether it is really needed.
Please include the whole question in your post next time.  
Word count is 193 which is way too far from the task requirement. Your introduction is completely irrelevant to answer the topic question given in your title.  
  
First, I think you really need to work on your sentence structure because most of them confuse the readers. At some point, I think this writing is just a combination of words together, not really planned essay.  
  
Hope you do better in your next works.
## the responsibility for helping the poor countries

  
  
**Do the rich countries or the governments of the poor countries should take responsibility for people in poor countries?**  
  
Nowadays, when the people's lives are becoming more and more enhanced, the poverty in some countries around the world is a big issue. Both of the governments of the countries and the wealthy nations should be under obligation to give a favor with the poor.  
  
Firstly, the rich countries can propose helping-hand policies for the poor countries. In short term, they can supply food aid or a certain small fund immediately as having urgent situation. In long term, there are so many scholarships for talent students which the wealthy nations give for the poor. Besides, they also brings building projects to help the poor get access to better life. In fact, the richest economy country in the world- United States donates billions of dollars to the Middle East and North Africa annually that they can pass over the wars and starvations. Therefore, it's so important assistances from the wealthy nations.  
  
Secondly, in the poor countries, the authority should let their citizens broaden their knowledge. By the internet, local media, they will know about development of the world recently so that they will learn or work hard or even become more creative. It means that encouraging and giving them motivation can make possibly effective steps which contribute to build their country. For instance, Korea, after the second worldwide war, was one of the poorest countries but thanks to the smart opening policies of the government, Koreans rapidly recovered Korea's economy position in nearly 20 years. Thus, decisions of the government also play essential roles.  
  
In conclusion, the responsibility for helping the poor countries should be shared with their authority and the rich countries.  
  
thanks for reading, please give me some comments...!
I think at the second line of first paragraph, you should add:  
... It's high time for both of....  
-Make the sentence strong and keep your point.  
... for talent students which the wealthy ...  
why you use which?  
- Besides, they also bring~~s~~...  
-By the internet, local media, ... that they will learn or ...  
  
by the Internet ..., ...can learn ...  
I think you have trouble with your grammar, structure. YOUR IDEA IS CLEAR.  
That's all my help.
Diep, kindly remember that there is a difference between UK and US English when it comes to spelling certain words. If you want to score higher in the IELTS test, then you should strive to familiarize yourself with the method by which the UK writers spell their words. If you can spell in the UK rather than US version, then you will gain a higher LR scoring consideration than if you spelled in the US English manner (favor = favour).  
  
It is important that you do not use contractions when writing in an academic tone. That means It's should be properly spelled out as IT IS. This helps to improve your GRA score because you show that you know how to properly form academic sentences, which is what the test is trying to gauge. Informal sentence presentations do not really blend well with the scoring requirement of a formal English language test.  
  
Now, the essay uses the term "OR" when asking you to choose between the government of the poor or the government of the rich countries. Due to the existence of the word "OR" within the instruction sentence, you have to choose only one side to discuss. You can't use both because that will require you to discuss the essay topic using more than the 3 reasoning paragraph allotment. It is more difficult to defend such an opinion within 40 minutes using only 3 reasoning paragraphs.
Topic: **Due to the advancement in computer technology the trend of working from home will bring a dramatic change to peoples's lives. Is it a positive or negative development? Give your opinion.**  
  
## your opinion on working remotely

  
  
Ans: The technological improvement in computer has brought up a significant change in our daily life, giving the opportunity to accomplish enormous works staying just at home. Consequently, it is expected that this tendency will bring an unimaginable change in our future life. Though, in overall, this opportunity will have good as well as bad effects on human's life, however I strongly believe that advantageous sides will overweigh the disadvantageous sides in this case.  
  
From its' born in previous century, computer technology has been changing our life in various ways. We can now conduct our business from anywhere instead of having a meeting with clients physically. In this era, when computer technology has eased our life incredibly, we need not to sit on our official desk to control and operate the official task. The positive sides which are being extracted from this tendency are - saving our valuable time, reducing the transportation cost, reducing the office time traffic congestion - as people can reach to the office physically at time when he wants, and so on. Most importantly, it will reduce our physical efforts.  
  
Admittedly, the advantageous events of the future life changes for technological improvements of computer are lucidly noticeable, however there will have some serious negative issues also. As it will be the reason of the reduction of physical activities, it may create dangerous health issues, such as overweight problem with high obesity, heart disease, blood cholesterol increment, melancholiness and frustration - as it will be the reason of loneliness.  
  
In conclusion, this technological changes would make our life more comfortable, while we might suffer some significant health problem, which could reduce our average life expectancy eventually.
Pronob, You did a great job in presenting the Task Accuracy requirements of the first paragraph. It strictly adheres to the given topic and clearly highlights the discussion instruction in an original way. This good opening paragraph will definitely set your scoring quest on the right track. You will get a passing score if you can present your prompt paraphrase in this manner during the actual test.  
  
You do have some grammar problems that will cause the pulling down of your final score though. For example, you used the term "melancholiness", which is not a word that exists in the dictionary. The term that does exists in the dictionary is melancholies. Spelling mistakes will cause LR scoring reductions.  
  
Your first reasoning paragraph will also cause a C&C reduction due to the existence of discussion topics, but no actual discussion development or explanations are presented. All these reasoning paragraphs need only 1 topic per paragraph. Properly explain the reasoning and use supporting information to establish the validity of your discussion. Don't just keep giving reasons without explanations.  
  
The last paragraph should only be a discussion summary, it should not add a new topic for discussion because that creates a open ended essay. You have to properly summarize the discussion using the original topic, your reasoning topic sentences, and finally, a closing sentence to properly summarize your presentation. What you did, presenting health considerations at the very end of the essay created an open ended essay that would have reduced your TA score to a certain degree.
Newspaper Topic  
  
***Some people believe in the era of e-technology, printing newspaper and magazines will cease to occur in the near future. To what extent do you agree or disagree?***  
  
It is a common belief that conventional newspaper and magazines will disappear in the next few years as e-technology advances. In my opinion, I completely agree with this notion for the following reasons.  
  
Firstly, paper-based newspaper and magazines are becoming inconvenient for people in this day and age. With the explosion of the Internet, global citizens now have the access to enormous sources of up-to-date information anywhere at any time, which allows people to fetch the latest news across the world without the hassle of going out to a local store. Undoubtedly, people will enjoy reading on their computers at home or office. Eventually, more and more people will stop purchasing the traditional newspaper, which is the first reason for the death of this type of media.  
  
Secondly, old-school magazines cost money. While having to pay a couple of dollars for paper-based magazines every day in order to read the news, readers can read unrestrictedly free of charge with the help of new technology. As can be clearly seen, the online newspaper is definitely dominating the old style in terms of expense. As a result, e-magazines and newspaper will become the first choice of customers and printing companies will have to close their business to cut losses.  
  
Thirdly, printed newspaper and magazines are not fit to store information in a long period. Indeed, these materials cannot be preserved because, after several years, the print will be faded and unable to read. On the contrary, new technology offers an unlimited database to store information which lasts perpetually. Added up to the first and second setbacks, this huge disadvantage of the conventional newspaper is a guarantee that such an obsolete type of media will no longer be found in the future.  
  
In conclusion, I assert that, as e-technology keeps growing radically, the printing of newspaper and magazines will be ceased in the upcoming years.  
  
*I badly need to score a band 7 in GT writing. Please help me improve this one to a band 7 essay. Deeply appreciate your corrections.*
i see that everything you gave is easily understandable with showing your various vocabulary  
however, i'm afraid of decreasing your score just because the essay reached 312 words compared with 250 words at least ( i mean it's too long)  
  
in fact, you''ll have enough time to write more than 300 words in 40 minutes  
i suggest that you should focus on 2 main points and try to analysing the best as you can
## Increased Prevalence of Insomnia

  
  
Now a days insomnia has become quite prevalent.Besides enormous factors contributing to this epidemic, one of the predominant factor is surge in stress levels in our daily lives.Which has not only be affecting adults but also have been affecting youngsters adversely.As a result there is a huge strain on an individual and society as a whole.  
  
Although there are many reasons which are responsible for taking away the sleep at night including work pressure for adults and to some extent helicopter parenting for children of all ages.But the most profound reason is social media's pressure and addiction.Social media have been successfully able to impaired the quality time which a person can spend with family and friends.Most of the people before the onset of sleep are addicted to spend significant amount of time and and concentration needed for sleep during night time.  
  
Sleep deprivation also has adverse effect on society as well as an individual's mental and physical well being.People have been loosing their concentration levels and hence have started desisting themselves from taking responsibilities because of persistent fatigue caused due to insufficient of sleep. Especially students are unable to perform reasonably well in academics and extra curriculum activities as they are tired most of the time.Frustrated youth due to insomnia has caused a great deal of toll to the society as well, there has been an abrupt increase in the anti social activities.Students and government should take some collaborative action to curb the proliferation of this epidemic.  
  
In summary, there has been an obnoxious growth in cases related to lack of sleep.The most common reason is over exposure to social media which in turn causing social pressure.We along wit government should take some preemptive measures to avoid unimaginable repercussions at later stage.
Sumit, are you taking the pen and paper or computer based Task 2 test? If you are taking the computer based Task 2 test, you are going to lose major points for not hitting the space bar after the period in a sentence. Your presentation becomes ill formatted and difficult to read. This was a consistent error throughout this particular presentation of yours. You also have a tendency to type repeated words in a sentence. Please take pains to edit your work.  
  
These seemingly harmless errors can have really impactful repercussions on your final score. By the way, there is a dash between the word pre and emptive. It is spelled as pre-emptive not preemptive. Then you misspelled the word "with" as "wit". All of these are truly evident of carelessness on your part. The buildup for which can lead to your failing the actual test. There are so many GRA errors in this essay that I am absolutely sure you will get a failing score for that particular scoring consideration.  
  
Since you did not post the original prompt with your essay, I am going to refrain from commenting on the content of your presentation. I am not sure if you are discussing this essay properly based on the discussion requirements. I can only make a general review of your work which is good enough for this type of writing. A more thorough and helpful review would have come from a review of your response based on the discussion instructions as provided to you.
2019-02-28: Task 2  
Questions: **Some people believe in the era of e-technology, printing newspaper and magazines will cease to occur in the near future. To what extent do you agree or disagree?**  
  
## The printed version would be the Museum's collection soon

  
  
The hard copy version of newspapers and magazines has been in great threat owing to the evolving electronic technologies. This threat, believed by a section of the society, would bring an end to the printed version of these reading materials. From my point of view, I am an ardent advocate of this statement that e-technology or soft copy of news and information would engulf printed copy.  
  
A good reason of paper copy dying out would be the flexibility of electronic copy. At present, not only do publishers of news and articles collect information from sources swiftly but they also update this information timely. This means, electronic technologies, such as smartphones, Internet, and internet of things, are being used in order to disseminate information from journalists to ultimate readers; and editors are updating the news, where needed, with efficiency. In contrast, Printed copies are not editable hence misinformation in news could not be corrected.  
  
Another convincing reason for terminating printout of newspapers and magazines might be the user-friendly attribute of e-technologies. In other words, readers can access any news from any smart devices that have internet access. For instance, People, who are busy, can swipe their mobile phones for news or information from any places around the world without bothering the printed version of newspapers and magazines. What is more, readers can share any news with their friends and family via social network sites whereas this feature is unthinkable in the printed version.  
  
To conclude, it is indubitable that printing newspapers and magazines would be discontinued in upcoming years on account of the adaptable and exclusive application of electronic technologies. The printed version would be the Museum's collection after a decade.  
  
Date: 08.3.2019  
  
**Is this essay worth Band 7?**  
Any comments on this essay with appropriate feedback would be highly appreciated.
Jamshed, the first thing I have to tell you is that you are not writing an essay. Instead, you are showing off your knowledge of "dead" English language. You are trying to focus so much on the LR considerations in your essay that you let the coherence, cohesiveness, and GRA scoring sections fall by the wayside. While you are on point in terms of TA assessment values, your presentation is too wordy to the point of using words, just for the sake of using words (internet of things? Really? That doesn't even fit the discussion topic).  
  
Focus on clearly explaining yourself, avoiding falling into the run-on presentation trap by using more current vocabulary. Big words that just complicate the understanding of your essay aside, you have an acceptable presentation. You just need to simplify your English terms by using more current and simple reference words to avoid stressing the examiner, which is a major GRA consideration.  
  
Also, make sure that your concluding paragraph summarizes the discussion without offering additional opinions such as when you think print media will go out of style. That is not asked for in the prompt and should not be presented in the essay discussion once you write it. As of now, I do not think that this essay is worth a Band 7 score. It might be worth a 6 or 6.5 depending upon how the examiner views your writing.
Dead English, or more familiarly known in academic circles as ancient English are English words that are no longer commonly used in the 21st century. Such language then becomes confusing to the reader or examiner who expects to read more up to date English words from the exam taker. Dead English is what the ESL learners commonly learn more of because their teachers believe that the LR score is best increased by using "big" or "over complicated" words to impress the reviewer. That is the wrong understanding of how to get a higher LR score. A higher LR score is achieved by showing that you know how to use current English words in a manner that is proper and relevant to the presentation. Dead English in your presentation include the terms indubitable and ardent. Everyday English words should take the place of ancient / dead English. It doesn't have to be academic or academic sounding words, just formally written everyday use or simple English words in understandable sentences.