dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
**IELTS Writing TASK II Increasing crime**  
  
Recently, there has been a proliferation of the level of crime. There are several reasons why the crime activities are increasing and discuss some remedies to prevent it.  
  
The predominant factors impacts on the rise of crime activities such are unemployment and careless of the society. Firstly, based on research, there is strong relationship between increasing of the jobless and the rise of criminal activities such as robberies and theft. Jobless have a tendency to do criminals such robberies in the street to fulfill their basic needs. For illustrate, in several metropolitan cities in Indonesia, the number of cases caused by robberies reach a thousand of cases during 2016. Almost of felonies gave reasons that they did the robberies to fulfill their basic needs. Secondly, commuters in big cities careless are surrounding them, particularly in public transportation and facilities. Because of careless of the people, felonies use this moment as a chance to take action, especially the time of commuters back to their home. For instance, felonies more likely take an action in public transportation such as train and bus which the situation is the cup of tea of criminals.  
  
There are several reasons to prevent the risk in criminal activities. Firstly, rulers have a role important to make a strict policy about punishment for felonies. The predominant purpose of this policy is to make deterrent effects to the criminals and hopes can reduce criminals in the future. Secondly, modern era gives numerous of advance technology which society can use for prevent the criminals such CCTV. Nowadays, lavish of supermarket and shopping markets are using CCTV to maintain and control the situation. For illustrate, almost all of supermarket in metropolitan cities are using CCTV to control large area of their business and prevent the goods from theft.  
  
All in all, numerous of factors such as jobless and careless of the society can tackle by several ways such as strict policy and use modern technology such CCTV. In my standpoint, participating of essentials elements such as the governments and society to make a new job opportunity.
Hello Brother  
Let me give you some advices  
  
The predominant factors impacts on >> .... impact on  
  
the rise of crime activities ~~such~~ are unemployment ...  
  
jobless has a tendency to do  
  
Almost of felonies gave reasons >> ..... remarked that  
  
Secondly, commuters in big cities careless are surrounding them (what is the relationship between busy people and increasing crime rate)  
  
Keep writing
good night brother  
let me help you to correct this good article  
  
... the crime activities are increasing and discuss (what is the subject of "discuss"?) some remedies to prevent it.  
  
The predominant factors impacts ("factors" is plural) on the rise of ...  
For illustrate (illustrate is a verb), in several metropolitan ...  
Almost of felonies gave reasons (why) that they did ...  
  
... a role important ( an important role) to make a strict policy ...  
... use for prevent the criminals such (such as?) CCTV.  
For illustrate (illustrate is a verb), almost all of supermarket in ...  
  
... and use modern technology such CCTV (what is the connection between cctv and jobless?).  
  
have a nice brother  
thank you
Halo koko.. overall your essay was good and i found some shopisticated words..  
  
However, i looked some words that odd.. So here my suggestion..  
  
... activities are increasing and discuss some remedies to prevent it.  
  
What do you mean with discuss? And also for grammatical sites it should be balance in this sentence..  
  
... the crime activities are increasing and discussING some remedies to prevent it.  
  
The predominant factors ~~impacts~~impact on the rise of crime activities such ~~are~~as unemployment and careless of the society.  
  
Hope it works! Good luck!
**The chart below shows the amount of money per week spent on fast foods in Britain. The graph shows the trends in consumption of fast foods**  
  
The bar chart shows the information about the amount of budget spent on fast food weekly, while the line graph illustrates the trends of expenses in junk food in the United Kingdom during two decades. Overall, people who earn high income dominated the expenditure of fast food with the exception of fish and chips In this case, except pizza, the consumption of fast food experienced an upward trend.  
  
To begin, people who earn high salary often spent on hamburgers that showed at 40 percent, while other junk foods were only bought below 20 percent. Besides, 33 percent of people with moderate revenue, which twice as much as people with low salary bought hamburgers rather than other junk foods. However, for middle income people, fish & chips was the alternative for them who did not prefer hamburgers, with one by four percent funds.  
  
In line graph, in the first decade, the expenditures of fish & chips and hamburger increased GRADUALLY, whereas pizza fell drastically from 300 to 200. Furthermore, pizza got intersect with fish and chips at 200 in 1980, while intersection between pizza and hamburger occurred at 200 in 1985. After those intersections among them, the fish and chips exceeded drastically TO 500 and hamburger just increased slightly to almost 300. In addition, pizza started to decrease gradually since 1980 and increased slightly after 1985  
  
*
The bar chart gives the information about the proportion of expenditure on five different needs in 4 developed countries in 2009. Overall, except Japan, all countries spent their money on housing.  
  
According to the chart, it is shown that Japan had the highest percentage on food at 23%, but this country becomes the least percentage on transportation at 10%. Furthermore, United States predominated on housing and health care at 26% and 7%, while it was the lowest position on food and clothing. In the same time, Canada reached the best percentage on clothing and transportation even though it was the last position in housing.  
  
Turning to the internal comparison among the needs in every country, Japan and United Kingdom becomes the top spot on housing category, while these countries were the last position on transportation. By contrast, United States and Canada had the highest rate on transportation, but they were the least percentage on food. In case of clothing, except United States, all countries spent their budget for such category.  
  
*
Hello mem  
here is my suggestions for you  
hope it helps  
  
... on five different needs in ~~4~~**FOUR** developed countries in 2009.  
  
Furthermore, **THE** United States predominated ...  
  
... it was the last position ~~in~~**ON** housing.  
  
Turning to the internal comparison ~~among the needs in every country~~ , Japan and United Kingdom becom.  
... had the highest rate ~~on~~**OF (PREPOSITION)** transportation, but they ...  
... spent their budget for ~~such category.~~**ANOTHER CATEGORY.**  
  
thanks  
best regards,
Nowadays, the development of production makes our lives more convenient and comfortable. Also from that positive change, most people would prefer throwing things away rather than repairing them, reusing them and there are some reasons that are attributed to this issue.  
  
One of the main points that causes this problem is the appearance of many technologies that are advertised attracttively to everybody, and people tend to spend money on buying the latest electronic products. For example: Iphone6 were sold more than 10 million on the first week after showing in market, meanwhile Iphone5s were introduced and largely used by consumers last year.  
  
Humans are creating and producing more products for improving quality of life and making business more profitable, a lot of companies tend to release an amount of stuff such as convenient raincoat, handkerchief and plastic cutlery which are associated with low cost that attracts consumers and easily become antique after a short time-using.  
  
Besides those positive benefits, wasting is one of the reasons that leads to this current circumstance. Most people are gradually lacking knowledge of protecting environment and saving sources of nature, some products we throw away everyday seems to be useless but those can be reused and repaired to be useful things. For instant: using sheets of newspaper, magazines to wrap something that is fragile, or reuse some old blankets, cushions to give pet a soft, warm place to sit. Moreover, people are decreasing pollution and destroying the place we are living in.  
  
To summarize, throwing things away than reusing them and repairing them is a noticeable trend that is continuing and followed by a number of people, which would absolutely be existed in the next generation.  
  
*
Hai hoat  
it is a great essay  
here is my suggestions for you  
hope it works  
  
IT Also from that THE positive change, (...) prefer throwing ~~things~~SOMETHING away rather than (...) are some reasons that ~~are~~ attributed to this issue.  
  
One of the main points that ~~causes this problem~~PROBLEM CAUSES is the appearance (...) that are advertised ~~attracttively~~attractive to everybody, and people ...  
  
For example~~:~~ << USING COMMA Iphone6 were sold more than 10 million ~~on~~IN the first week after showing in THE market,  
  
... more products for improving THEIR quality of life and ...  
... which are associated with THE low cost that IT attracts consumers and easily becA me antique after a short ~~time-using.~~time using  
  
... knowledge of protecting THE environment and (...) we throw away ~~everyday~~every day seems to be useless ...  
  
To summarize, throwing ~~things~~SOMETHING away than reusing (...), which wouldBE absolutely ~~be~~ existed in the next generation.  
  
thanks  
  
best regards,
The graph gives the information about the proportion of money spent on five different items in 2009 and it is measured in the percentage. Overall, except Japan, all countries spent their household budget on housing.  
  
Comparing the countries, it is found that the United States showed it is superiority on both housing and healthcare at 26 and 7 percent, but it was the least spender on clothing and food. Meanwhile, Japan predominated on food but was the lowest on transportation, at the same time, Canada witnesses the highest rate among all in clothing at 5 and transportation at 20 whereas it is an expense on housing was the least.  
  
Turning to health care and clothing, United States dominated it is expenditure on health care at 7%. This following by Canada and Japan having the same proportion while the lowest position was occupied by the UK. Meanwhile, all countries had a less marked difference on healthcare and the domination was seen in Canada figure.  
  
*
Dear Ryan, there are some advices for your writing, feel free to correct my responses,  
  
*... information about the percentage of proportion of money ...*  
  
Overall, except Japan, all countries spent ... -->  
*Overall,all countries with exception of Japan spent their household budget on housing.*  
  
Japan predominated on food but ... -->  
*The lowest percentage in transportation is predominated by Japan* --> try to make various types of sentence  
  
Overall, your writing is well improved apart from the grammatical errors occur recurrently, try to make more than 150 words for task 1, hope it helps you to improve your writing,  
  
Regards
**How to see the thoughts you don't know you are having - Caroline Williams**  
  
Every second, large of quantities idea emerge on our mind. Those are in unconscious area in which almost all people are not aware of what their thinking. In actual fact, a few experimental have been developing to touch our hidden area. Harvard University's Scholars carried out the research by using quick response test to exposing unconscious behaviour regarding origion, sexuality and gender. Unfortunately, it is strenuous to catch. While, another researcher, Russell Hurlburt from University of Nevada Las Vegas, provides different approach. He commanded volunteers to wear an earpiece which will randomly beep for six times a day, then ask them to note their mind. After a half of decade, he has concluded that minority of people have an idea what they are thinking.
Hi Lincoln..  
These are my thoughts. Actually, this is good, but I offer you a few improvements.  
GOOD LUCK  
  
Those are in AN unconscious area ~~in which~~ WHERE (please you pick up the proper conjunction) almost all people...  
In AN actual fact, a few experimental ...  
MEANWhile (you needed a transitive word. You have to remember that "while" is the conjunction) , another researcher, (...) Las Vegas, ~~provides~~ PROVIDED A different approach.  
  
After a half of decade, he ~~has~~ concluded that minority ...  
  
Note: Please, you pay attention to use of past and perfect tense. I have found you were sometimes confused to order them. Besides that, you have to distinguish between use of the transitive word and conjunction.  
  
Overall, it is a good job
A question which is asked by David Christian to audience is how did the universe make complexity?. He began his explanation from 13.7 billion years ago, when there was nothing and suddenly small atom emerged as the core of universe. In the next 380.000 years after big bang, there was hydrogen atom appeared.  
  
The differences between human and another beings is human have a complex language system. In order to transfer information and knowledge among them. Furthermore, people can strive even in extreme environment such as dessert, jungle and ice age. And in the modern age, myriad of people are linked with internet.
**Hi Lincoln..  
Actually, your summary is good. However, you have to call your attention to some matters. Please, meet my notes to understand what I mean.**  
  
A question ~~which is~~(you should omit the conjunction) asked by David Christian ...  
... explanation from A CIRCUMSTANCE 13.7 billion years ago~~,~~ when there (...) as the core of THE universe.  
  
The difference~~s~~ between human and ~~an~~ THE other beings is human ~~have~~ HAS a complex language system.  
... even in extreme environmentS such as dessert, ...  
~~And~~ in the modern age, A myriad of people are linked ~~with~~~~TO~~ THE internet.  
  
**pay attention:  
1. Make your sentence more various. learn about reducing and omitting.  
2. Use of articles  
3. plural and singular  
4. verb agreement  
  
Please, before you upload yours, you should reread so that you can diminish your faults.  
GOOD LUCK**
**Some people think that the money should be spent on improving schools and hospitals than constructing large, impressive buildings in a city. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion**  
  
Nowadays, many enormous, spectacular buildings are being constructed in the world . In big cities like New York, London, Paris, there are many magnificent skyscrapers. These buildings attract many people to visit them. It's may contribute to the tourism. However, some people think that it's necessary to spend money on improving schools and hospitals. I agree with this view.  
  
In a country, schools and hospitals play important roles. Schools provide education which help citizens become more intellectual. Education not only helps the economy grow fastly and stably, but also it reduces crime, illiteracy. Hospitals supply healthcare to improve life quality. Hospitals with high technology will have a good treatment and that can make patients recover from illness quickly. That is the reasons why I support to the view I have written.  
  
Overall, we should invest on upgrading schools and hospitals. It does not mean that we stop constructing the other buildings, just spend less money on them. Because I think they have important meanings, too. In the future, you will achieve what you have planted.
However, other people  
but it also reduces crime and illiteracy.  
Hospitals with high technology will have better treatments which can help patients ...  
There are the reasons why I support my view.  
Overall, we should invest in  
  
Many minor mistakes, overall analysis of prompt is good but you don't make a strong case. Good points are brought up but they are kinda generic which may or may not be a problem depending on what this is for.
Fish also migrated to same nest each year, but unlike migratory bird such as white storks or swallows, the fish does not migrate over long distances. Instead, it disappears for the month and travelling offshore to feed. Male shannies (Lipophrys pholis) were already known to return to their nest if they were artificially removed during their breeding season from October to April.  
  
But, Paulo Esteves Jorge at University of Lisbon in Portugal stated that it is not yet clear how shannies find their way back, and they may use scent, visual landmarks or other cues. "many species od intertidal rock-pool fish have excellent homing capabilities backed up by fantastic spatial learning" says Culum Brown at Macquarie university in Sydney, Australia. The researchers also still wonder why these animals only stay in the breeding area for a month during the breeding season.
*Some organizations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.*  
  
## Can a Good Appearance Do a Better Job?

  
  
Today is an era when there are a lot of companies searching for an efficiency which can make some advantages for those. The employers believe that the worker should use the formal uniform while the others think that the great performance of work is the first matter.  
  
There is a popular quote: "do not judge a book by its cover". It means that you should not see the personality of people you meet by the clothes that they wear on. Psychologically, we think in the reverse. We always think that the person from its uniform. So that, some organizations believe that when its employee wear the good dress, it can make the company's image better than they are not. Consequently, it can also attract many investors and increase the profit of the company. Also, this is a good way to promote and expand the good perception towards the company's brands.  
  
However, some people believe that quality is everything for the company. The only way increasing the quality of the company is to increase the performance and ability of the worker. If a company does not have a quality, soon the company will move to red-level. But, if the company has the quality, it will be able to increase its capital and soon lead the market as the consequences of having quality. Also, the good foundation of quality can overcome the competition among the companies.  
  
Personally, I think the question depends on the situation which should urgently solve at first. For the company which has a good quality of its employee, the secondary needs such as making a smart uniform is the good thing in order to expand a better image of the company. For the company started in early age, they should focus on how to increase the quality of its employee in order to face the market competition.
Crime is one of big problems in this world which bother peace on earth. These days, the crime level always increases year by year. In this article, I will explain about several reasons why it significantly rises and how kind-hearted people stand to avoid that.  
  
In my opinion, there are 3 points of view of this problem. First, religion factor, there is no religion which teach its followers to do anything bad, especially crime. In the other hand, not all people do what their religion teach, even some of them shrink from their religion. And that is the biggest problem. When someone is far from his faith doctrine, he or she will get their freedom. Because no one even the religion forbid him or her. The more freedom he get the more he wants to do either good or bad.  
  
The second is economic factor. Some countries just focus on their big cities economic. They open more job opportunities there. So people in remote areas are difficult to get the opportunities. There is an unequal economic development. Because of that problem, some people think that they have to do something illegal to reach their life. That is a crime.  
  
The last is corruption which becomes a habit in government internal. Nowadays, government in all countries try to reduce poverty. They want to make equal economic system, but because of corruption, that fund which is sent to remote areas decrease significantly. So the people do not the situation and try to find a way to continue their life. And finally the crime condition is spread.  
  
Several views to decrease crime rates are government should think people in remoter areas more than in big cities. They should make an equal economic system. Second, all people should hold their faith and teach that to their family. The last is helping each other. Rich people should help the poor and support him to improve his life.  
  
In conclusion, although the crime rate always rises every year, there are several ways to reduce even to relieve that. As good people, we should bring peace to everyone. We should remind everyone we meet if he has bad behavior.
Hello  
  
Your text could be improved if you apply the following adjustments to it:  
  
which ~~bother~~ [...] *endanger*...  
~~year by year.~~ [...] *each year*.  
In this ~~article~~ [...] *paper*...  
I will ~~explain about~~ [...] *outline [*...] several reasons...  
points of view ~~of~~ [...]*on [*...] this...  
~~especially crime.~~ [...] no need for this.  
~~In~~*On* the other...  
~~even some of them shrink from their religion.~~ [...]*with some of them turning to atheism*.  
~~When someone is far~~ [...] *Those people who do not believe in God have no moral restrictions, whasoever.*  
~~are difficult to get the opportunities.~~ [...] *experience dificulties while trying to advance in life.*  
~~to reach their life~~ .[...]*to be able to attain social prominence*.  
which ~~becomes a habit in government internal.~~ [...] *affects goverbmental officials*  
  
I hope this will help. Regards.