dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
From my perspective  
This phrase indicates that you already have an opinion that you will be sharing with the reader. Therefore, your opinion should have been presented to indicate that you will be using the 3 reasoning paragraph format for this essay. the writer's opinion ended without stating an opinion. Therefore, deductions will be made since a portion of the task requirement for this paragraph was not achieved. Where there is no clear opinion present, the writer will receive a failing score for the task restatement preliminary consideration.  
  
The essay also did not follow the prescribed discussion format for this topic which is to use a group point of view in comparison with a personal opinion. Since the indication for the writing format for the essay is the 3 reasoning paragraph, the format should have been:  
  
Paragraph 2: Explanation of why Public Opinion 1 is valid (Based on public perception).  
Paragraph 3: Explanation of why Public Opinion 2 is valid (Based on mass understanding).  
Paragraph 4: Statement of the writer's personal opinion with supporting reasons (Using personal perspective references)  
  
As such, this essay is approached only from the personal opinion side, which makes the discussion incomplete since the required comparative discussion basis is not represented. It will have TA and C+C scoring problems.
## the problem of food waste

  
  
Indeed, an excessive amount of food that was bought from stores and restaurants is being wasted these days. This can be attributed to several factors, which can require possible measures to be adopted.  
  
There are several reasons why individuals are wasting a large amount of food. The first obvious explanation is that food is becoming cheaper and being served in extremely large portions in many restaurants. This can cause many customers to fail to finish their dishes and thus, the leftover food would go to waste. The second reason is that consumers, especially young adults, who are busy with their work choose to buy food for the whole week and purchase more than needed. This might increase the likelihood of some products becoming spoiled and also being wasted.  
  
Various measures, nevertheless, can be implemented to address this situation. One possible solution is that restaurants should limit the number of portions that they serve to their customers instead of serving a variety of slap-up meals. As a result, customers can be able to finish the dishes they order without leaving any leftovers. Another approach worth mentioning is that each consumer should make a shopping plan of what they want to buy before going to grocery stores. This is because, it allows them to take control of unplanned purchases and also helps to reduce the amount of food they buy, and thereby preventing food from being wasted.  
  
In conclusion, many reasons can be given to explain why a large amount of food is being wasted, but I believe that steps can be made to alleviate this situation.
The essay could have been better developed by the writer. Firstly, he should have properly represented his thesis statement in relation to the direct questions being asked. He only repeated the instructions, he did not give a summarized response to the questions, which left the restatement + opinion paragraph without any true opinion for consideration. Therefore, the score that will be given for the preliminary consideration will be based on a lack of proper response format, no opinion presented, and basically, an incompletely developed paragraph that is lacking in logic and reasoning presentation.  
  
Since this is a problem - solution discussion, the writer should not present 2 problems in 1 paragraph then 2 solutions in the next. A fully developed, properly explained, and well scoring paragraph will:  
  
Sentence 1: Present the problem  
Sentence 2: Explain why the problem occurs  
Sentence 3: Present a solution  
Sentence 4: How to implement the solution  
Sentence 5: Give an example to prove that the solution can be implemented in real time  
  
These are the series of discussion points that will create a cohesive and coherent problem-solution paragraph. These are the keys to achieving a high scoring essay based on this format. Kindly also remember to use at least 2 summary sentences in the concluding paragraph to meet the 40 word minimum requirement for that section.
## Covid-19 and community

  
  
People have, in recent years, shown concern on Covid-19 pandemic. Many countries in the world have to face up to a variety of both difficulties and opportunities which will be discussed in this essay.  
  
To begin with, it is an indisputable fact that our community has difficulty during the Covid-19 pandemic. Firstly, it is noteworthy that we have to deal with economic crisis. This is because a large number of workers need to go on strike due to social-distancing; as a result, this will cause the national economy to go down and pose a threat to their development. Another feasible explanation is that study quality plunges. That is to say students are required to stay at home and study online instead of studying directly at school, resulted in low level of attention capacity as they are easily distracted by numerous videos on Youtube, Facebook, etc. By way of illustration, a recent research carried out in China, the origin of Covid-19 pandemic, reveals that the average grade of students has decreased to a great extent, from 80 out of 100 to 40 as a result of short attention span. Therefore, it is clear that my nation has to cope with challenges in the time of Covid-19.  
  
Nevertheless, we also have opportunities during the outbreak of Covid-19. Admittedly, this pandemic makes people comprehend the value of life. This is due to the fact that before experiencing the social-distancing period, people must live under a lot of pressure and in fast pace of life. Living in Covid-19 means they are given a chance to ease their mind and enjoy their life as they no longer commune to work or are stressed at work; as a consequence, they will feel a sense of tranquility and have much affection to life. Another justification worth mentioning here is that the impoverished in this difficult time are taken care of more than before; last year, for example, about 1,000 poverty-stricken households are supported and helped by the government, the greater number than before. Hence, it is evident that besides the nation records challenges during Covid-19 outbreak.  
  
On balance, although the country experiences some hindrances, it is also given other opportunities to develop.
The opening paragraph is confusing. If the focus of the essay is to be the community of the writer, then he must make that very clear from the first paragraph. The topic introduction and short form discussion topics should already focus on the community of the student since that is the target of the discussion.  
  
I am not sure if the writer knows the difference between the effects of a lockdown and a worker's strike. When a community is locked down, a strike is not possible. Even after the lockdown, a strike can not be accomplished because of social distancing and other health safety protocols.  
  
Abbreviated references such as "etc." should not be used in academic writing. Such references are best used in casual writing since there are no writing formalities involved in such non-academic writing formats.  
  
The concluding presentation is too short to be qualified as a proper summation. It does not really reference the benefits and drawbacks the community experienced. The writer needs to properly develop a concise summary for better scoring next time.
## email from club

  
  
Email cho bạn :  
  
Hi Eric,  
How's work going?  
I am contacting you for the following reason to tell you that I am very happy when I received an email from their manager. Did you received the email from their club?  
  
I expect them to ... In fact, we will have more useful knowledge and sharpen out skills. How about you?  
Let me know when you received an email,too.  
Please feedback for me !  
Love,  
Vo Thien  
------------
**One topic per thread**  
  
The email cannot be properly reviewed in its current state. When no writing instructions are provided for the benefit of the educational consultant, where more than half the email is blanked out by the writer, a proper review cannot be made. There is basically no information provided in the email that I can review to help the student improve his task writing skills. It is important that the writer post the complete email, along with writing instructions should he wish to receive a proper review from this consultant at this forum. Only when I have the complete information in relation to the writing task will I be able to provide a proper work analysis for the writer.
## Parents awareness about problems of their children

  
  
Throughout this century, the view of learning has changed dramatically and the majority of people feel this change is not for better. Obviously, they mostly caused from parents because of lack of understanding how difficult their children have to face. Therefore, to shorten the gap between them, these are remedies that we will discuss below.  
  
For and foremost, teenagers have peer pressure while being compared with their schoolmates. As a result, they obsess with having high-score is priority by the thinking of their parents. Moreover, juveniles can get depressed, mental health problem or even hurt themselves regularly. In order to lessen those serious impacts, parents should change the way they define about learning which is deeply ingrained through many generations.  
  
Hence, with the high-expectation, almost teenagers have sedentary lifestyle as studying too much. Furthermore, they do not have enough time to partake any sporty competitions to strengthen their health as well as their mind. What is more, because of learning, a plethora of children do not alike to care about their appearances. As a consequence, despite excellent students, they can be isolated by their classmates. Therefore, parents should decrease their works to spend more time aside their juveniles and encourage them when getting low marks to avoid those negative impacts.  
  
All things considered, to enhance teenagers in learning, both of themselves and their parents have to cooperate together. Moreover, parents also have to rise their awareness of difficulties and problems their children have to face during their schoolife.
This is definitely an essay that cannot recieve a passing score because it will receive a failing mark for each, individual scoring consideration. The sentences lack any sense and the meaning is difficult for a native English speaker to decipher due to the problematic word choices of the writer. The sentences are so improperly structured that it is obvious the student needs to take some formal English classes in order to understand how to construct even the most basic English sentence, much more a basic English paragraph. The reader is constantly confused by what meaning or idea the writer is trying to convey. The lowest marks will definitely be given in the TA section (in relation to a clear writer's opinion), the C+C section (due to the problem conveying his thoughts clearly and coherently), GRA (due to the lack of proper sentence substance), and LR (based on improper word choices).
## to be a businesswoman

  
  
In my opinion, everyone all has a dream and so do I. In fact, I want to be a businesswoman and set up my own company. To make my dream come true, I feel I've done a few things. Firstly, I think I studied quite hard and always put a lot effort into studying. In addition, finding new things to learn and revising learned things are my personality. Secondly, I like reading books, especially economic books and science fiction books. Also, there are some tips in doing your best anywhere and make things as perfectly as I can. Last but not least, I helped my friends when they got trouble. Everything is not as important as your family and your friends. I think family is the thing that I must protect and love but friends, they are people who can help me on the way to develop myself to become my best version and make the company always stand better on its own. Clearly, there are too many things I haven't done yet to make my dream come true but confident, trust myself, internalize and choose the best way for me to make my dream - to be a businesswoman become true.
Since the question is just "What you want to be in the future", an opinion statement is not required. There is no need to reference "In my opinion" because that is not was is being asked in the prompt. The current statement misleads the reader into believing that this is an opinion presentation when it is not. It is a mere general idea discussion topic.  
  
It is useless to refer to "I think" in an essay that asks for preciseness in the information presentation. What have you done to make your dream come true? The response should be "To make my dream come true, I have done the following. I have studied..."  
  
Sadly, the writer has not done anything to make the dream come true in reference to becoming a businesswoman. While she has made preparations to become a better person, there is no move done to prove an early exposure to business that would prove the writer is preparing to enter the business world either through formal studies or personal experience.
I think I am similar to Alice because I also hate doing chores. I think it is so boring, repetitive and hard. Most chores are dirty, heavy, tiring and sweaty. And to be honest, I am pretty lazy, so I dislike doing chores. Moreover, I'm too busy with my studies, so I hardly ever do chores. However, I don't deny the benefits of chores. Doing chores can bring a lot of benefits to children. It teaches them life skill and help build their character. It also helps some people relax when they feel stressed. Now, I am trying to share housework with my mom because she does too much. Finally, although I hate doing chores, I will try to do more chores in the future.
I am not clear regarding what question the writer is trying to respond to in this statement. In fact, I do not even know who Alice is and why that person has to be mentioned in this writing. I do not see a connection between the character and the writer's reference to his own chores in the response. I believe this lack of connection has affected the clarity of the presentation and is the main reason for the confusion when a stranger reads this piece of writing. More of a connected backstory is required. In addition to that, the writer should also avoid using the conjunction "and" to start a sentence. As he should know from his English lessons, a sentence should never start with a conjunction as there are no discussion ideas to be connected at the start of a sentence.
## Overpopulation of urban areas has led to numerous problems

  
  
It is true that the high population density happening in metropolitan areas has become a pressing issue in modern society. Although several negative consequences on the urban environment and people's quality of life have undoubtedly resulted from this tendency, governments can take a number of effective solutions to tackle these problems.  
  
As the population of urban areas has been increasing at alarming rates, several related problems can be anticipated. The main issue would be obviously more private means of transport and industrial activities, which is identified as the primary culprit of air pollution in cities. It is because exhaust fumes from petrol-consuming vehicles and gas emissions from factories result in a higher concentration of carbon dioxide and particulate matter in the atmosphere, causing air quality degradation. As a result, city dwellers might suffer from a wide range of chronic health concerns such as asthma, dermatitis, respiratory infection, and even lung cancer. Another issue would be the possibility of non-renewable resource depletion such as fresh water, cropland and fossil fuels. This is happening because there is an overexploitation of natural resources for the huge demand for housing, food and industrial manufacturing in urbanized areas.  
  
There are several actions that governments could take to mitigate the problems described above. Firstly, governments can run resettlement programs by investing more life-sustaining necessities in rural areas such as education, recreation, health care and job opportunities. This will motivate citizens to relocate voluntarily to these newly constructed areas, which reduces the population density in big cities. Another solution would be enforcing laws to inhibit high birth rates in cities and encourage family planning movements by incorporating a one-child policy or tax exemption regulations for couples having one child in the marital law-making process. Finally, it is imperative for scientists to develop more renewable and environmentally-friendly energy sources to radically address the matter of resource exhaustion caused by overpopulation in the long run.  
  
In conclusion, while there are various problems that are certain to arise from the overpopulation of urban areas nowadays, they can be combated effectively with resettlement programs and birth-control policies. These governmental actions, if done properly, can hopefully address these problems and avert the future degradation of the environment and public welfare.
The essay is over-written. It is not possible to write a 368 word essay within 40 minutes. Not when the writer is required to make sure that the essay is concise, without grammatical errors, and proofread for perfection prior to submission. Do not just keep writing for the sake of writing. That is how most exam takers fail this test. The idea is to show how well you can express yourself in a quick and coherent manner. This is not a test of how many English words you know. It is the focus on vocabulary made the writer develop the wrong writing format for this essay.  
  
For starters, he does not need to vouch for the validity of the discussion since it is not a required aspect of the discussion. Where an alteration of the statement exists, a prompt deviation deduction will be applied. So, the writer will already start the test with a failing score. Then, he does not respond directly to the questions provided, which means the discussion foundation or idea presentation is missing, causing the full paragraph to fail for not meeting the Task Accuracy requirements for the prompt restatement + writer's opinion paragraph.  
  
The writer is also hyper focusing on explaining only the first part of the discussion in every paragraph. The minute he has to develop an explanation for his second idea presentation, he runs out of discussion points and ends up creating an under developed paragraph instead. This is precisely why he should not focus on word usage, but rather, on a developed idea presentation, using only necessary words to get his message across.  
  
Overall, this is a highly verbose, but not well developed essay so it will definitely have scoring problems in an actual test setting.
## The proportion of smokers in british society

  
  
The table gives information about the proportion of males and females who smoked in Britain during the period 1970 to 2000.  
  
It is clear that the proportion of smokers in males was higher than in females in Britain. From 1970 to 2000, the figures increased significantly. However, the proportion of males who smoked underwent more considerable growth.  
  
The percentage of smokers in males was 10% in 1970 in Britain. After that, the figure rose dramatically and reached the highest point of 37% in 1985. Following that, this proportion fell gradually, which declined by 9% from 37% to 28% between 1985 and 2000.  
  
The proportion of males who smoke was smallest in 1970, at 5%. Over the period of 20 years, the percentage grew substantially and reach a peak at 37% in 1990 and then overtook the figure for females. Finally, males saw a decrease in the proportion of smokers by 10% (from 37% to 27%) from 1990 to 2000, which was similar to the percentage of males.  
  
*
There is an inconsistency in the summary overview. The image depicts the measurements in percentage form based on half decade measurements. These information should be made clear in the summary overview prior to the collective time coverage reference.  
  
Sentence stucturing is a problem in the trending paragraph. It is difficult to make sense out of the current format. If written as:  
  
*From 1970 to 2000, the figures increased significantly for the proportion of male smokers. This was indicative of the proportion of smokers in males being higher than in females in Britain.*  
  
the sentence would have been more coherent and concise in presentation, thus making it a higher scoring trend, which could have been merged with the summary for maximum TA impact.  
  
Why is the focus always only on the male smokers? The female measurements should be properly discussed and represented as well. It is possible that the writer, who did not bother to proof read his work, also referred to the females as males in the next paragraph. A wrong interpretation that will result in a failing score for this essay since the analysis is faulty and will affect the validity of the C+C explanations.
## water used for different purposes

  
  
The charts below illustrate the proportion of the use of water in several areas of the world in three categories.  
  
Based on the chart, agricultural use is the largest for the majority of the water used in South America, Africa, and Asia areas from 71 % up to 88%.  
  
The purposes of water used are almost the same in the Africa and Asia areas. The percentages in agricultural use are the main purposes in those areas up to over 80%. Besides, the use in industrial and domestic are under 10% except for the domestic use in South East Asia has slightly different to the other.  
  
By contrast, the used water in Europe and North America is reflected in the same purposes. The used water in industrial contribute the largest part of the water used in Europe and North America on average around 50% and over 30% of water is used in agricultural use and domestic use only shares 13-15% in total.  
  
*
The writer has not specifically identified the type of image that was provided in the report. This will result in an inaccurate summary of information. The type of image is required as a part of the task accuracy consideration for that paragraph. Therefore, the type of image and number of images must be provided at the start of the presentation as it serves as the basis for the succeeding information. Since the reader is assumed to not have any copy of the image, the proper image presentation will help the reader create the required mental image for a better understanding of the image yet to be provided and analyzied.  
  
A summary overview also requires a minimum of 3 sentences. This is often achieved by properly summarizing the notable information and then working in the trending assessment into the same first paragraph. That way the reader will be given a comprehensive summary of the notable information.  
  
There is no real trending statement provided in this essay. A trending statement cannot contain actual numerical data from the images as it is to represent an assessment of information rather than an actual analytical report.  
  
The reporting paragraphs would have been clearer if it indicated how the water was used per area first. That would make it a proper topic anchor and introduction sentence. Allowing the reader to better follow the discussion going forward into the reading.