dim/essayforum_raw_writing_10k huggingface dataset:
Leonardo, this essay will automatically fail in the test because you wrote only 145 words when the minimum requirement is 150 words. The reason your essay falls short of the word requirement is because your summary overview paragraph, also known as paragraph one is incomplete. It is comprised of only one sentence when each paragraph is expected to be composed of a minimum of 3 sentences. This requirement is imposed in order to allow you to better display your English writing abilities. Writing less than that shows an inability to understand English based instructions and also, implies a weak analytical skill on your part, which is a major requirement in an IELTS test - taker. I observed the same problems in your closing statement. Work on expanding your introduction and closing presentation in your future practice essays. While you can describe the process in a single paragraph, it would be beneficial to your score if you show a higher analytical skill by dividing the paragraph into 2. Divide the procedure presentation in such a manner that allows you to increase your lexical resource and grammar accuracy scores.
**Some people say that the government should not put money on building theatres and sports stadiums. Others argue that they should spend more money on medical care and education. Discuss both views and give your opinion.**  
  
## investing in art, sport, medical care or education

  
  
People have different views about where areas the authority should invest in. While there are some benefits of allocating money for healthcare and education, I would argue that it is better for the government to pour much money into building theatres and sports stadiums.  
  
On one hand, medical care and education are beneficial to some extent. Firstly, since the number of diseases is increasing rapidly, the government should invest money in healthcare. For example, wealthy nations provide financial support to medicine companies to research and create a new vaccine which can prevent the outbreak of Ebola. This helps improve living standards of its people. Secondly, because the government is responsible for taking care of its citizens, they should offer high-quality education to all individuals. For instance, higher education should be either free or affordable for all those who chose to pursue a university degree. This may greatly contribute to improving the quality of workforce.  
  
On the other hand, I believe that erecting theatres and sports facilities is a better choice option. First, threatres can provide much social, cultural and historical knowledge for people. In Vietnam, for example, artists often perform plays that render the battles of our ancestors fighting against foreign invaders over the past 4000 years. This helps young generations to cultivate patriotism and national pride. Additionally, providing sports facilities such as tennis courts and football stadiums may to encourage more people to take up sports and have a healthy lifestyle. As a result, people can improve their health and build up resistance to disease.  
  
In conclusion, while investing money in medical care and education has some advantages, I believe that theatres and sports stadiums play a much more important role.
@thanhhoang12a7 your opening statement should represent the two points of view prior to the presentation of your opinion. That is because the prompt asks you to discussed the two points of view and then your opinion. So the outline of the discussion should be represented in the manner that the discussion requires. That said, your paragraph discussion it's rendered incomplete because you failed to present a public opinion regarding the importance of buildings and stadiums. The public opinion is important to present before your personal opinion because your opinion should support and enhance the readily available public information which will then allow you to present a stronger, if not winning opinion on the subject matter.  
  
I would like to go back to your incomplete opening statement and call your attention to the concluding part of your essay. . Notice how you only have 2 sentences there? That means the paragraph development is incomplete so you will recieved marked down points because of that error. Each time you fail to present at least 3 sentences in a paragraph you will lower your chances for a higher final score.
***Whether or not someone achieves their aims is mostly by a question of luck. To what extent do you agree or disagree?***  
  
## believe in destiny

  
  
The development of the society has led to many social issues. It is argued that fortune plays a leading role in the success of anyone. While I accept that luck is an important element, I disagree with this argument and will elaborate in detail.  
  
On the one hand, I believe that people who do not believe much in hazard can also gain their goals. For example, Mark Zuckerburg is a great illustration. He dropped his study in Harvard University to set up his own company. It means that achievement is not only as a result of being fortunate, it almost comes from his characteristics, such as decisiveness and optimism. In my case, when I took a 15-minute exam and my head was blank. Provided I had always been blessed, I couldn't have done anything in that case. It also means that attainment is largely due to personality, sometimes just a bit of luckiness.  
  
On the other hand, I suppose that chances do not make a major contribution to the triumph of anyone. For instance, when I was 15, I had to pass the entrance exam to learn in the gifted high school. But I failed and then I took some days to make clear why I couldn't overcome it. After a few days, I realized that I didn't learn by heart a crucial mathematical formula. Therefore, we could not reach our targets as a consequence of our having not tried, not because of our having not being lucky.  
  
For the reasons mentioned above, I assume that whether or not someone attains their purposes is not because of their destinies.
Tuan, one of the most common mistakes that students make when writing this essay is that they try to justify both sides of the discussion when only one side is required for the presentation. Note that the prompt instruction asks you "To what extent do you agree or disagree?" When you are given an "extent" option, that means you are being given the opportunity to discuss the essay from the point of view that you can best support. That has to be the point of view that you believe in the most. "Or" means you have to pick only one line of reasoning that applies to your personal belief or understanding of the prompt. With that consideration in mind, I would have to say that you did not do a very good job on this essay. Due to the mistaken prompt discussion, you cannot score higher than a 2 using this essay. That is because you misunderstood the prompt requirement in relation to the type of discussion you are to present to the examiner. I apologize for giving you such a low score but when you take the TOEFL test, your English comprehension skills are at the forefront of the exam considerations. When you do not not discuss the essay based upon the instructions given, you will not score well overall. Most specially since your final sentence in the essay talks about a person's "destiny", which is totally different from the discussion about "luck" that the prompt instructed.
@Holt  
Thank you very much for your comments. Maybe my essay is off topic. I will rewrite my it until it becomes okay. I find it difficult to do task 2 in IELTS test in terms of ideas. Anyway, a mentor like you is precious. Thank you again! Hope that you will help me more and more in writting  
  
@Holt  
But I wrote that '' I disagree with this argument and will elaborate in detail.'' So I concluded that '' I believe that people who do not believe much in hazard can also gain their goals'' and '' I suppose that chances do not make a major contribution to the triumph of anyone''. I means that just partly not mostly ? I think that I chose just one side ?
Do you guys can check my rewritting again ?  
It is argued that fortune plays a leading role in the success of anyone. However, I completely disagree with this argument and will elaborate in detail.  
  
On the one hand, I advocate the notion that people who are hard-working and determined can attain their goals. For example, Mark Zuckerburg is a great illustration. He thoughtfully decided to drop his study in Harvard University and set up his own company. Then, he spent thousands of hours coding and experimenting to create a social network called Facebook that we use nowadays. Another clear evidence is Nguyen Ngoc Ky. This disabled man could not write by hand, but he had enough determination to teach himself to write by foot. After that, he would become one of the greatest teachers of education in Viet Nam. It it not ascribed to luck anyway, I believe it comes from his industriousness and determination.  
  
On the other hand, the saying that hazard is significantly attributable to luck is vague. Firstly, people can not solely depend on luck to become successful. For instance, lazy students usually rely on fortune, so they just learn the leading parts that they think their teachers will examine them in the tests. Admittedly,whether or not he or she can pass the exam is no matter how lucky he or she may be. Secondly, luck could only lead people to a short-term achievement. A typical example for my belief is having a lottery. It totally is due to luck, there is nothing to make sure that it would continue to exist in the future.  
  
For the reasons that I mentioned above, I assume that in order to achieve long-term goals, one must be extremely industrious and determined to follow his or her passion till the end.
***Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female student in every subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree?***  
  
## proportion of men and women in universities

  
  
Though same educational opportunity should be given to both males and females, I do not agree with the idea of giving admission to the equal proportions of each gender in every university subject.  
  
Having the same number of men and women in all degree courses is literally impractical. Firstly, the average world gender ratio of 1.06males/females does not allow this to happen. In fact, Chinese families have long favored sons over daughters while abandon of girl babies is of a common occurrence in Africa country since the need for an extra breadwinner is far greater than that of a homemaker. This results in a much bigger gap between the two sexes in those countries, which makes the mentioned notion become sheer impossible. Secondly, student numbers in any course depend on the applications an institute receives, and as some courses are more popular to one gender than the other, aiming for equal proportion is more or less unworkable. For example, nursing and accounting courses attract a greater number of female applicants while more men sign up for information-related courses.  
  
In addition, it would be unfair to base admission to university courses on gender. University should continue to select the best candidates for each course according to their qualifications. By doing this, both men and women have the same opportunity, and they know that hard work will pay off. Conversely, rejecting the best candidate for a place on a course in favor of the opposite sex application with lower qualifications and competencies is surely wrong meanwhile lesson students' truth in fairness and the role of education.  
  
In conclusion, the selection of university students should base on merits, and it would be both impractical and unfair to shift to a selection procedure based on gender.
Lung, you have developed a very interesting and highly appropriate discussion for the subject provided. Your lien of reasoning shows great analytical skill and offered you a good opportunity to show off your English language skills. Your sentence structure and grammar problems are evident in the essay but do not distract so much from the point you are trying to make. Which tells me that you are practicing your English skills outside of the classroom. You just need to be careful of the way that you frame your sentences and paragraphs. Each sentence should only represent one thought or idea. Any secondary ideas or thoughts need to be given its own highlight sentence. So the information about China and Africa need to be separated in the presentation. Additionally, your second line of reasoning must be given its own paragraph placement in order to allow you to fully develop the 5 sentence maximum requirement that would have give you the chance to further show off your sentence creation skills.  
  
A clarification of your opening paragraph is required. Your paraphrasing of the prompt is a bit inadequate. This is evidenced by the short opening statement. You only have 2 sentences when you are required to have a minimum of 3 sentences in order to qualify it as a paragraph. The discussion could have been made clearer and offered a more prompt relevant paraphrasing had you first said, "Universities these days are being pressured into accepting an equal number of male and female students in all their courses. Though the same..." Do you see how I paraphrased the total prompt instruction by including the reference to the university requirement per course? That is an integral part of the introduction that you should not have omitted in your presentation.  
  
The concluding statement also suffers from a lack of credibility because it inaccurately represents the closing argument, being only one sentence long. You have to develop a summary, restatement of the discussion, and a reference to your opinion as the closing line of this particular paragraph. That is how a proper concluding statement is developed.
Topic: **The decisions that people make quickly are always wrong. Do you agree or disagree?**  
  
## we got used to make decisions quickly

  
  
Nowadays, we are living in a developed social, everything we do must be quick because the time is gold. There are some people say that the decision that we make quickly are always wrong. In my opinion, I disagree with the statement because of the following reasons.  
  
First of all, we have experience. In our life, we may meet a situation one time or two times and we gain the experience about how to do or solve that situation. Whenever we meet the situation again, we can always make quick decision in the right way. For example, when you are a surgeon, you meet a case and you have to make a quick decision, you must do it because the patient does not have time for you to think and you need to base on your knowledge to make the right decision in a short time to save the patient.  
  
Secondly, nothing is perfect in this world. At a time in our life, we may make a wrong decision at that time and we may feel sad about it. We cannot make everything in the right way as we want. For example, when I was a kid, my mother suggests me should learn English. My family thinks that my mother makes a very wrong decision, but today it turns out that my mother's decision is right. I can use English to study, to read books, listen to music and lots of things I can use English.  
  
On the other hand, we cannot deny that making quick decisions are sometimes wrong. This will happen if we do not have knowledge, confident and a little luck. Making wrong decisions just sometimes happen to me because I know what I can do and how far I can go. Lucky sometimes is the most important thing when we make quick decision, but the always thing make you make the right decision is your knowledge and confidence.  
  
In conclusion, I disagree with the statement. In our life, we have to get used to quickly decide because the world where we are living do not stop improving every second, every minute, every hour. At a time in our life, the decision we make can be wrong, but who know what will happen. Life is a mystery, nothing is perfect, and all we need is just improving ourselves every day.  
  
Can you help me to check whether my idea is digress or not. Thank you a lot. I'm trying to learn writing but this topic, i have no idea about it.
Trung, considering that the essay proves that you are not well versed in the English language, you should not have used yourself as an example regarding the decision making prowess of your mother. Specially since the decision to make you study English is not something that she did quickly. She had time to think about her decision before actually doing it. The same goes for doctors. They need to study the case of their patients before making any decisions because they deal with life. When it comes to serious decisions, time is of the essence. When it comes to other things, such as whether you should buy the latest pair of shoes, the latest clothes, or eat a certain restaurant, those are the quickly made decisions that is being referred to in the essay and these should have been the examples you used to defend your stance. This is a trick question that tests your English comprehension and analytical skills. As such, you have proven that while you do understand the question, you did not analyze it regarding its applicability to various situations that truly ask for quick decisions. That said, without considering the flawed line of reasoning and only considering the discussion you presented, you would probably score a 3 with this essay. Most of the problems with your essay lie within your sentence structure and grammar usage. It is important that you do your best to create more fluid English sentences. Fluid sentences will work best for you in this case. Don't aim for the complex sentences yet as you are not yet at that point of English usage that will allow you to do that.
Tosin, your opening statement, which was supposed to be a summary of the provided discussion did notnproperly accomplish the task. While it was a long paragraphthat provided your opinion, it should have also given an overview of the main discussion topic. That is why you cannot get a score higher than a 3 for the summary portion. Even with that flaw, the quality of your ideas can still score a 6 because of your strong, compelling position that used applicable examples throughout the essay. Your idea organization is also well represented and would most likely get a score of 6 as well. Sadly, your strong showing in the quality and organization portion did not continue into the writing style and grammar and usage areas. I don't think you can score more than a 4 in these sections due to sentence development and grammar​ usage problems. Your English sentence development is problematic because of the inconsistency in the sentence structure and development. Grammar inconsistencies affected your score in these portions. Regardless of the existing problems in your work though, I believe that you had a strong enoigh showing in this essay to prove your strong analytical abilities and reasoning skills. It is just the language presentation that requires more practice / work on your part. Try to develop a smoother and more fluent written English style. You don't need to present complex sentences. Just use simple​ but fluent in English sentences. That will increase your score better than improperly presented complex sentences.
**The line graph below shows changes in the amount and type of fast food consumed by Australian teenagers from 1975 to 2000.  
  
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.**  
  
This is my first attempt practicing on writing IELTS' Task 1 essay.  
  
## Fish and chips on antipodes

  
  
The graph shows the consumption of fast food by Australian teenagers during 1975 until 2000. It displays the number of eaten per year for pizza, fish and chips and hamburgers within the period.  
  
Overall fish and chips were eaten the most at the beginning of the period even though after two years, it decreased. In contrast, both pizza and hamburgers were eaten less at the beginning of the period but gradually they raised the number of eaten per year from the middle of the period.  
  
Fish and chips were eaten 100 times per year in 1975 when pizza and hamburgers were at the bottom of the graph which were below 20. The former decreased five years later even though raised back again after that. However, in 1985 it dived down slightly below 40 times a year in 2000.  
  
On the other hand, the rest of the fast food both raised constantly without going down even once. Fish and chips raised 100 in 2000 becoming the most eaten fast food. The later stopped raising in 1995 at 82, constantly stable in the position until 2000.  
  
*   
*Graph*
Dany, the summary statement at the start should have been combined with the second paragraph to make a more informative presentation. It is too short for an actual overview of the discussion. Rather than immediately creating a second paragraph, you should have developed a way to outline the information for presentation instead. Remember, if you have less than 3 sentences in any paragraph, then you don't have a complete paragraph. That means a mark down on the final score because you didn't fully utilize the word count to show off your skills in English. Most importantly, develop your analytical skills for presentation as your current skillset is very amateurish. I hope to see more improvement in your next presentation. Make sure to take note of all the facts and figures before you write the essay so that you can write longer and more informative sentences for the examiner's consideration.
*You live in a room in college which you share with another student. However, there are many problems with this arrangement and you find it very difficult to work.  
  
To the accommodation officer at the college.  
  
- describe the situation  
-explain your problems and why it's difficult to work  
-say what kind of accommodation you would prefer*  
  
## Letter about situation with a roommate

  
  
Dear Sir or Madam:  
  
I am glad that I had this opportunity to live in college and it saved me a lot of time from commuting.  
  
However, there are several problems occurred since I moved in two months ago.  
  
Becuase David, Peter and I have different class schedules to attend, we don't see each other very often.  
  
Besides, David and Peter have a school project to follow after they finish their classes, I usually fall asleep before they return back to the room.  
  
Even though they tried their best to not wake me up, unfortunately, I have always been woken and started tossing and turning as soon as they come back.  
  
Due to these reasons, I would like to move to a room with somebody who has similar class schedules and who doesn't have any school project to follow.  
  
Thanks for your time and I am looking forward to hearing from you.  
  
------  
  
152 words.
I am glad that I ~~had~~ have this opportunity to live in college ~~and it~~ which ~~and it~~ saves me ...  
  
~~Becuase~~ Because my roommates - David, Peter...  
  
... and who doesn't have any after-school project to follow.  
  
It is not a nice way to begin a new line when you just finish one sentence.  
The problem that you don't see each other very often is not a strong argument: normally you don't move out just because you don't see each other much.
@Jimmy879873 Your letter is not properly formatted. The letter needs to follow the formal style of address, normally using the block format. Make sure to use a proper, if made up, address for the accommodation officer of the fictitious university. Just like all letters, you need to have a proper beginning, middle, and end to the presentation. Your discussion does not develop a proper presentation for your reasons to request for a room transfer. Try to focus the letter on the problem regarding the scheduling conflicts and the project that they are working on. You have the right idea in the essay. It just needs to be more properly developed by adding more compelling information to the letter. Towards the end, describe your ideal roommate and accommodations requirement and in order to explain why it would be beneficial for you to switch rooms at this point in the semester.