title: Free Booze Tonight
author: Freadhoff, Chuck
description: It was an offer he couldn’t refuse. Joey, the bartender and very bad conman, agrees immediately when mob boss Vincent the Hammer, makes him an offer: turn Delilah, Vincent’s daughter, into a rock star, and do it fast, or spend eternity in a rolled up rug. The task is simple - pluck a band out of thin air, pack a bar that no one ever comes into, and find a way to make Delilah, who Joey fears can’t even sing, into an overnight global success. Relying on his slick tongue, half-baked wits, a little blackmail, and a cast of characters who owe him favors, Joey follows an improbable and uproariously funny journey from near death to happiness. Joey’s future is decided in an instant and when Delilah’s gig is crashed by outlaw bikers, a posse of pissed off dwarfs who want Joey dead, and a crowd of senior citizens, led by Joey’s grandmother, Ethel. But when it’s all over, Joey’s learned the value of honesty and true love.