Sentence:  This patient was tom between living a <WSD>pseudolife</WSD>—by attempting to bury all self-awareness—and taking the risk of looking back and experiencing and sharing her memories, accumulated pain, hate, guilt, shame, and neediness for emotional support and sensual contact. 
Meaning of the word marked with <WSD> tags:  An inauthentic life; a life that lacks something necessary for being meaningful or worthwhile.