Sentence:  For many nights afterward , the idea of her having been so close to me in that imagined bed would return and fill me with obscure and painful desires , would cause me to lie awake in <WSD>shame</WSD> , tossing with irresolution , longing to fall into a deep sleep . 
Meaning of the word marked with <WSD> tags:  a painful emotion resulting from an awareness of inadequacy or guilt