A fourth grade teacher thought so highly of the report that he decided to emulate it. After dousing several bottles of soda with LSD, he threw an impromptu pizza party, handed out laptops, and let the fun begin. Within minutes, he was in the middle of a chaotic freak-out that would make a bomb threat in a theater look comparatively orderly. Instead of passively writing about the pretty colors, his students demanded to know what was going on, licked the floors, had existential doubts, and least fun of all, texted their parents as best they could through the hallucinations. He was, predictably, thrown in jail for attempting to teach a lesson that was both horrifying and utterly worthless. Everyone knows that ecstasy goes best with pizza.