Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1963-02-24
Wy CAROLYN HAGNER SHAW
Contributing Writer

recently. His daughter, by his
first marriage, has made her
home with us for years. She
is to be married in April. How
should I word the wedding in
vitation? Should I refer to
her as my stepdaughter"? I
am anxious for many reasons
to make the relationship
clear.-Mrs. l.. j. V.
Answer: While 1t would not
be incorrect to refer to her as
your "stepdaughter," it seems
to me that this wording,
aside from sounding rather
cold, is decidedly awkward. 1t
is preferable to word 1t as
follows: Mrs. Robert Samuel
Dow requests the honor Of
your presence at the marriage
of Mr.. Dow's daughter, Mary
Jane, ct cetera. :"
4 4
Question: In this day and
age Gas a supposed gentle
mani should I ask permits
sion to smoke when joining
a group of people at a party,
or when dining with a
woman? I know, in years
gone by this was an i'm
portant observance in the
realm of good manners, but
today it seems rather ridicu-
lous when the person who
does not smoke is definitely
in the minority. I feel rather
foolish when asking permits
sion." Should I?-Mr. HING.
Answer: Whether you feel
foolish or not, the courteous
thing to do is to ask permis-
sion to smoke-upon certain
occasions that is. For ex-
ample. when joining a group
and others are smoking OBJ
viously asking permission is
not necessary. However, If no
one is smoking you should
ask II you may do so. When
escorting a woman, If you
know she smokes her accep-
lance of your offered cigar
cite naturally gives you per-
mission to do so without
asking. Today it is purely a
matter Of fitting your ac-
tons into any given situa-
ton.
Question: II you are enter
tanning at q dessert party"
which is to begin at 8 o'clock
in the evening, how do you
indicate on your invitation
that those invited are not
expected to wear really dressy
clothes2-Mrs. N. w.
Answer: BY placing the
word Informal" In the lower
left hand corner Of your in
vitation. It's sensible and
certainly very helpful to your
guests to tell them what is
expected from the what to
wear" angle. The Informal"
indicates street-length after
noon gowns for the ladies
and dark suits mot sports
Jackets conservative ties and
white shirts for the men.
Question: I always get
mixed up and STAN m er
around when I introduce my
parents to strangers. I am
married, so Of course my
name is different from theirs.
Should I Just introduce them
as Mr.. and Mrs. Brown"
without mentioning the rela-
tionship. or should men
ton who they are?-Mrs.
T. K. j.
Answer: Always indicate
the relationship. 1t clarifies
things generally for all con-
cerned. Simply say Mrs. Doe
I would like to have you
meet my parents, Mr.. and
Mrs. Brown" II you were
not married. 1t would not be
necessary to mention the
surname, as it would be the
same as yours.
=
Question: I live in a Wash
ington suburb and am upset
about a habit that most of
my neighbors seem to have.
We all have small children.
ranging in age from 5 to 10
years. They allow their
youngsters to call them (the
parents) by their first names
and seem to think 1t proper
that they do the same with
all the other adults in the
neighborhood. Maybe I am
old-fashioned, but I think
my 6-year-old girl 81 ould
call my next door neighbor
Mrs. Smith" and not
Mary" as her children call