Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1963-03-15
jim BISHOP:
REPORTER
St. Putrick's Duy
Stirs Up Stories

w w ASN AA AA'o9AFN F@AN
by civic officials whose fore
bearers migrated from Italy,
Poland, Germany and Swe-
den.
There is q universally
about being Irish in the mid
die Of March. I wouldn't bat
an eye II I saw a Chinese
laundryman in a st. Patrick's
parade. Anyone can join. The
true Irishman Is, Of course,
mystical. He is compounded
Of extremes: Enormous spir-
ituality coupled with super
stitions; mental brilliance
Joined TO belligerent ignor-
ance.
My people came from In
nescorthy. in Wexford. and
the City OF Cork. OF four
grandparents, there were
Bishops and Murphys and
McSwiggens and Tiers. The
Tier part Of my mothers
family we're from Holland
and the nearest they came to
England was when they
passed 1t in a sailing craft.
The rest were as green as
grass.
All. THE STORIES I could
tell. -.
My grandfather and my
father were policemen-wh what
else? Ny school was st. Pat
rick's in Jersey City. The
biggest social event in the
neighborhood was a three
day wake. My mother got
even with the Irish by max
ing st. Anthony of Padua her
patron saint. What for, I
don't know. 1t may have been
something disparaging my
father said about the Dutch
which turned her stubborn
ness toward Italy.
No true 1rishman drinks to
be sociable. He drinks for two
reasons: One is to iron the
wrinkles out of his DISPOSE
ton - II he has one; the
other is to cure something
If he has something. If he
has neither, he's a dead
Irishman.
My people are gifted with
raillery and wit. They have
The gift of laughing at them
selves. Once my father sat
with a man from Mayo God
help usD and the Irishman
studied a bowl of grapefruit
and said: Lieutenant, look
at the size of thin oranges.
I bet 1t wouldn't take many
of thin to make a dozen"
without appearing to be
snobbish, I must say that the
remark could not be attrib-
uted to any other race.
Some time ago, I went to
Ireland to see what the Irish
are like on the Aud Sod.
They have a sport called
hurting. Well, they call 1t a
sport. It's an admixture of
field hockey. rugby and legal
murder. Men on two teams
fail q soggy leather sphere
with sticks.
Sometimes-quite often. in
fact-opposing players swing
at the sphere and miss it, but
not each other. ! watched
Cork play Wexford and. in
five minutes, two players had
been carried off with dented
skulls. More were on the way.
A Corkonian constable was
explaining the finer points to
me. "Of course" he said,
"this game isn't the real
thing. It's Just a benefit for
a player injured last week"
He told me that there is
very little crime In Ireland.
"A few thieves" he said.
Practically no murders. No
gangs. No juvenile delin-
quents like you have in the
States. We have pub brawls.
Plenty of them. And some
times an Irish farmer will
fire a shot through a neigh
bor's window II he thinks the
dividing wall has been moved
an inch onto his pre- perty.
Other than that, nothing"
THE IRISH WERE always
rich In pride and people.
They keep the first, aid ex-
port the second. There are
more Irishmen overseas than
there are In Ireland. When
Irishmen grow up, they can't
wait to save enough money TO
leave the farm and sail to
America. When they get here.
they can't wait to save
enough money to 60 back.
Still, when I think of my
forefathers, wit is the thing
that comes to mind. There
are thousands Of examples !
like the one about the man
who went to an Irish rail-
road station and tried to set
his watch by the clocks on
the tower. On one side. the
clock read 2:30. On the other.
the clock said 2:45.
He called the stationmas-
ter out. whats the idea."
he growled. "of havin' two
clocks up there tellin' differ
ent timer" The stationmas-
ter squinted back at him.
"You tell me-" he said, what
the idea would be of havn'
two clocks up there II they
both told the same time"