Milford chronicle., 1963-12-20

liable or not. The schools anc
churches pick 1t up from there
and continue to provide either
healthy or unhealthy "feed-
back" to the child. Since ac-
ceptance leads to acceptable
behavior, proper "feed- d-back"
becomes even more significant
and important. AT this point, DR..
Mankin stressed a fact basic
and necessary to this process:
There can be no taking on the
part Of the parent, teacher, or
group leader. To put it more
PLAINLY, he said "you gotta be
for real' in your dealings with
children.
The Interpretation OF how
others see and accept us is done
as the result of five methods of
communication:
l. Touch body contact and
actual physical help and assist
ance, the manner in which it is
done.
2. Body Posture the way one
appears or looks to another.
8. Facial Expres sions =
friendly or unfriendly, happy or
sad.
a. Voice Tone soft or harsh,
loud or quiet, coope rative or un-
coope rative.
5. Language understandable
or not, pleasant or not.
All five of these play a part
in the important message of "I
care for you as a fellow human
being"
Since we act according to our
own concept Of ourselves, the
stability Of this concept is great
and ones first move is to de-
fend it. It is strong and this
brings continuity of actions.
Evidence contradictory to our
concept is denied or distorted.
At this point, DR.. Mankin went
"the extra mile" and suggested
how these strong self-concepts
can be changed. He gave five
ideas as to how this problem
Of inadequate self-concept (Which
is the case in over 9O% Of the
poor students in this country
can be corrected:
/. Provide security for the
child. A child needs reservoir
Of security on which he can fall
back, If he is to experiment
with new ideas of self-concept.
He doesn't feel he can afford to
if this reservoir is
not present.
2. Forget present defects.
Concentrate on the objective at
hand and don't let really petty
and Insignificant facts distort
the achievement Of your goal.
8. Set Immediately perceiv-
able goals. AT first, give tasks
where success is inevitable so
he new experiment for the child
S successful. Short-term goals
ire needed at first to change a
;hild's self-concept. An example
If poor speller was given. If |
/ child spells an easy word /
light, it Immediately challenges
lis concept of him self as a poor /
;peller. This can easily lead to
-zbecause-- people
ood at one thing get better, I
ince the "feed- back" they get ,
rom others says "you're good" !
nd this challenges them to do
,etter.
a. The child needs a feeling
If belonging. Do others know his
Do others need him?
Children don't miss a day Of
school, or church, or a group
meeting II they feel that they
are needed there.
5. Care for him. Everyone
needs someone to care for them
IS human beings. This applies to
all ages and in all situations.
DR.. Mankin concluded by say
ing that he wanted to make 1t
clear that he is for strong dis
cipline; possibly stronger than
we now have. But a child should
De disciplined for a bad act, and
not because he's a "bad boy"
Dis cipline should be ad-
ninistered not because "you're
4 bad boy" but "because I dis
approve Of what you did," "I :
ike you, but not what you did in
his instance"
He re-stated that it's i'm
nensely hard to change these :
strong self-concepts in children,
out 1t is the way to improved
behavior.
DR.. Mankin'S visit to Milford
.rflI 81 ~9 -