Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1963-03-27
The
Rambler
On a
SuSduy Afternoon
By JOHN McKELwAY

The Rambler had Just
eased an azalea into the
ground when Mr.. Suburbia's
shadow moved across the
lawn.
He held a trowel in one
hand and was dusty from
fertilizing his lush, immac-
ulate lawn. He wears the
same Starched blue denim
outfit and heavy boots
whenever he appears in the
garden. He is always in the
garden. He has q great, red
power mower and several
cleaning varieties of rakes
and shovels. He has created
an oasis in his back yard
and all the other yards in
the immediate neighborhood
resemble the Sahara in COM
parison.
Mr.. Suburbia carefully
inspectS any action taken by
a neighboring gardener by
standing behind his tremen-
dous rhododendron and
peering over the tops of the
leaves.
Some say he has competi-
tive drive. If you plant one
rose bush, he puts in two.
If you lose a hemlock, Mr..
Suburbia wants all the NOR
bid details.
He leaned down and
plucked a leaf from The
Rambler's azalea.
"A schlippenbachi," he
said, critically. Wouldn't
expect much from it this
year. You've injured the
roots getting it out of the
pot. There is not enough
shade here and obviously
you've used too much peat
moss. incidentally, it's en-
tirely too early to place a
schlippenbachi. We can ex-
pect a heavy frost up
through March"
WELL" The Rambler
mumbled, II just thought I'd
plant the thing and see what
would happen. It's such a
nice day and :"
MIR. SUBURBIA'S TROW-
Ell suddenly flashed by as he
Scooped up some dirt.
Your soil is too sweet" he
announced gravely after
passing it under his nose.
why haven't you had it
tested? You're not going to
get anywhere with azaleas
unless your PHI is below SO.
And where is your oak-leaf
compost pile?"
II don't have one," said
The Rambler.
You'll need pine needles
then" he said, "but this lawn
could stand a little more
care. You should pay far
more attention to your grass.
Remember the neighbor-
hood. 1t is obviously severely
infested with grubs. You
should Immediately convert
to creeping red fescue with,
I would suggest, a mixture of
bentgrasS and white clover.
But you'll have to get it done
by the end of next week."
The Rambler carefully
changed the subject by an
nouncing he was planning to
put in a few tomato plants.
$50 am l." Mr.. Suburbia
snapped, land beans, peas,
chard, eggplant, carrots,
lettuce, cabbage, radishes,
onions, broccoli and Brussels
sprouts.
Last year." he added, II
noticed you failed to plant a
single vegetable-not even a
bulb"
"Oh, I got some okra in,"
The Rambler said casually.
'Really?" said Mr.. Sub
urbia. II must have missed
that"
We'll, 1t never came up"
Probably destroyed by the
Colorado potato beetle" Mr..
Suburbia said, rather hap
PLY. "You failed TO spray"
He strolled across the lawn
and stopped at the base of a
tulip poplar. He gazed up
and said the tree would have
TO be topped.
Wont last through the
summer" he said.
He said the same thing
about the weigelas and vi
burnums and the mock
orange and the butterfly
bush as he passed out of the
yard.
o
MR.. SUBURBIA MOVED
carefully up in his rock gar
den and leaned over TO see II
there was any sign Of his
Siberian squills.
Using a Towering ounce
as cover, The Rambler quick
ly hooked up the garden |.