Evening star., 1963-01-27
FIFTY YEARS OF LOSING
Alfalfa Nominates Krock


The Alfalfa Club followed 9
50-year losing habit last night
when it set its sights on the
White House and named CORE
spondent Arthur Krock as its
candidate for President of the
United States.
Mr.. Krock. the New York
Times dean of Washington cor
respondents and news analyst,
Immediately proposed a cul-
tural program which would
move the Louvre to the New
Frontier.
The nomination of Mr.. Krock
came at the Alfalfa Golden An
niversary dinner at the Stat
ler-Hilton Hotel. The annual
mock political convention was
attended by 600, including
many of the Nations top lead
ers in Government, diplomacy,
the armed services, arts and
sciences and business and fl
nance.
Six New Members
In addition to the political
highjinks entertainment in
cluded recitals by Miss Gianna
D'Angelo, coloratura soprano of
the Metropolitan Opera; the
Whiffenpoofs of Yale Univer-
sity; and the United States
Air Force Band. Six persons
were installed as new members
of the club.
Former Senator Prescott
Bush, who succeeded Attorney
George E. Hamilton, jr., as
president of the Alfalfa Club.
said the organization turned
to Mr.. Krock "in desperation"
When II selected him as its
new standard bearer.
After he had been escorted
to Alfalfa's "podium of unin-
terrupted defeat" Mr., Krock
observed that he had been ac-
corded "the hollowest honor
that can be conferred on any
one, by anyone, in the entire
United States" On the basis
of the records Of the clubs
past candidates, Mr.. Krock said
he held out no high hopes Of
unseating fellow Alfalfan John
F. Kennedy from his rocker.
Undaunted. however, Mr..
Krock, a frequent White House
visitor. proposed to make cul-
ture instead of goods the meas
ure of the Gross National
Exchange for Louvre
by throwing in a Polaris
submarine or two from Admiral
private stock, ar
rangements will be perfected to
exchange the stone images in
Hall in the Capitol,
as well as the hall itself, for
the Louvre and its contents"
Mr.. Krock said.
II am also prepared to go
10 Nassau and persuade Prime
Minister Macmillan to swap the
Elgin Marbles for those gold
horses on Memorial Bridge" he
HE has a right
10 know that Skybolt isn't all
an American administration
can teach him about the
twist"
Mr.. Krock explained his cul-
ture program presented this
difficulty. however: Nov that,
IN the White House, the Blue
Room is the Green Room. the
Green Room is the Red Room,
he Red Room is the Yellow
Room, and the National Secur-
ty Council Room is the Leak
Room. there isn't any more
culture to install"
He assured his supporters
hat there will be no occasion
or his campaign or admins
ration to be criticized for lack
ng the common touch"
Touch on Everyone
Touch, as applied to foot
oall, is, am told, one of the
,wo current requirements for a
job on an in at the !
White House." Mr.. Krock said. {
The other. Of course. is the
iigital touch-the laying on of
he finger on industrialists,
obbyists, Texans. political So
,ial climbers and others-for !
$1,000 to dine with the Presi-
lent. In my administra-
ion 1t will cost $1,000 merely
% watch me eat on television. j
IN brief, I shall put the touch I
On everyone and everything" I
Former Senator Bush. who !
those not to seek reelection
asst year. said he viewed the
presidency Of Alfalfa as a sort
If comfort station on the road
10 retirement" i
Mr.. Bush promised to try to
get Alfalfa into the farm pro-
yram for 1868. II he failed in
hat, he said, he would try to
get the club into the stockpile
il