The coastland times with which is combined the pilot and herald of Belhaven and Swan Quarter. [volume] (Manteo, N.C.) 1959-1973, 1962-02-23
Fridays
Child
By LAWRENCE MADDRY

Germ for the gigantic that there
seems to be a scarcity of considera-
ton for the little things and, make
no mistake about it, tbs the trivia
which threads the pattern of our
lives. We live in an age of mann
moth and understanding ideas
which mushroom from the news
paper headlines and sprawl Guilt
ver-like into every aspect of our liv-
ing. Madison Avenue advertisers
have launched into the hyper-super-
superlative stage and must now
either go into orbit or abandon the
project altogether. / saw an adver-
tisemest recently for an item of
sports equipment which was herald
ed as Introducing a new dimension
In the bowling ball concept. ] have
placed that achievement last on my
list Of scientific breakthroughs for
the Twentieth Century.
It is the still, however, the little
things which shape our lives. Take
an insignificant thing like a
scratch, for instance. / took one last
week, while trying to unload some
stacks of slick paper here at the
office. Didn't even realize l had one
until a few minutes later when a
thin line of crimson appeared like
the liquid in a thermometer across
the back of my right hand.
might just have well have poked
my hand into a freshly sharpened
rip-snorting buzz saw for all the
trouble it caused me. / didn't suffer
minutes peace from the time the
darn thing appeared. There is some
thing about being bachelor that
opens up new visas of inventive
joke-making in even the dullest
husband or married woman, who
pursue their unmarried targets of
1idic,ile with a inerciless vengence.
1t is remarkable how the presence
of q bachelor amid such a group
can tap unfathomed resources Of
humor and other such clap-trap
from people who ordinarily are
without the resourcefulness of a
sleeping possum.
I seemed to run into countless
numbers of this breed last week.
The scratch was completely forgot
ten Saturday night, as l trudged in
to supper after the accident occurr-
ed. had no sooner reached for a
biscuit when the boarder across the
table, an old salt whose wife has
long since abandoned any hope for
reform, came out with "Well / see
she got you did she!" This clever
piece of balderdash was followed
by outlaws and the usual run of
winks and elbows in the ribs
which are the monkey on the back
of any man lucky enough to have
escaped ensnarlment by member
of the opposite sex. AS some ex-
PLANTATION appeared necessary, !
tried to explain that the scratch
was the product Of bout with no.
thing more shapely than several
reams of bulk paper. Somebody
down near the potatoes yelled
where did he say his hand was p,
and the laughter set in again to a
point where food had long since be-
come indegistible.
/ left the table and became so
absorbed in contemplation of the
assinine depths of depraved humor
which characterizes our race that
+ almost forgot the particular in
cident altogether. On Monday morn
ing, the scar was still visible and an
amending source of attention to
about everyone in town except me.
I remember walking into Fearing's
for a "Moon Pie or something
equally beneficial, and offering the
dime in change. The lady who took
the ten-cent piece was as nice as
could be, she couldn't tell there was
Binder, but you could tell there was
a look in her eyes as she pocketed
the change. This followed by al
Snug closing of the eye-lids and an
expression which appeared to be a
cross between 81 wonder how any
one so tow-headed ever got close to
a girl" and "She sure as hell didn't
miss" l snuck my right hand into
the nearest pocket and, despite al
studied attempt at casualness, be-
gan to emit a nervous cough which
must have appeared as sure sign
Of guilt. ] left the store in state
OF semi-rage, and, by the time /
had reached the office, had began
to wonder just how in the world
] really did get that scratch.
It was root hog or die as far as
I was concerned. The thing had
reached a point where some kind Of
drastic action was needed even if it
sneant that the paper only came out
on Groundhog's Day or Christmas.
4 though about Napoleon and won
dered if his famous pose hadn't
been the product of a little hanky-
panlSy and mulled over a million
solutions to my problem before
reaching what seemed to be the
only answer.
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