Evening star., 1961-05-21

learned in late childhood have
to be stitched together to make
a whole personality-and this
under the pressure Of a very
rapidly changing body and the
rush of new impulses.
It is a period when young
people should be free to grow,
to get acquainted with their
changing selves, and made
newly introspective by this new
realization Of the self. to think
out their future relationships
to the world, to be expressed in
careers, in religious or social,
scientific or artistic dedica-
ton. 1t is a period in which
they should be free to grow at
their own pace. unrushed but
close to the great world and
allowed to play a part in it
to travel, to experiment, to
work, if they wish to work.
Society Pushes Youngsters
Only after these three stages
are fully enjoyed should par
enthood, where the individual
gives up, at least in part, his
or her own search for the self
in the interest of children,
come into the picture.
We are doing a very bad job
today in not allowing our
children to realize their full
humanity. Instead OF letting
boys and girls go their separate
ways, in late childhood and
adolescence, we are forcing
them on each other, forcing
them to practice, not how tc
be individuals, but how to be
spouses and parents, catapult-
ing them into premature. half
baked adulthood. before they
have a chance to grow up as
individuals.
The causes? Perhaps the most
serious is our insistence that al
children of the same age do the
same thing. This fails to take
into account the differences
between boys and girls, and ir
early childhood and in the lower
grades, rewards only those boy:
who behave like girls, learr
their lesson to please theil
woman teacher.
Then as the girls begin to
squirt ahead of the boys, physi-
cally, and with a still greater
capacity to please teacher, anc
as each age begins to spread
out. so that the same grade ha!
little shrimpS and tall bean
poles, little girls and bosomy
young women, the pressure fol
dating and sourtShip behavior
is put on.
Pace Too Fast
The boys, hopelessly unready
for the girls, are pressured into
a kind of behavior which pre-.
vents their making friends with
their own sex and exposes then
to the girls view Of what i.
important in the world-mar.
riage and parenthood.
Before they have developed
into whole people, they fine
themselves married and par
ents, and unlike the men Of the
past, whose pride lay ir
achievement, they are left with
only the pride. once principal
ly reserved for women-oar-
enthood.
1t is hard to say which seq
loses the most-the boys who
just glimpse what freedom tt
achieve might mean, or the
girls who are kept fixed en- the
absolute necessity Of catching
a man. so they never glimpse
it at all.
Parents are now almost
equally engaged in pushing
their children Of both sexe!
into premature sex activities
and early marriage, combined
with pressure for an early saft
career choice. We are robbins
both sexes Of mankind's mos
precious Observation-Disclosures
In the past the Unitec
States was notable amonl
Western countries in the value
it set upon childhood, in thu
extent to which it recognized
that children had rights o.
their own. the right to be chill.
dren, which was different from
the need to grow up into thu
proper kind of adult.
Critical of Schools
But in recongizing children'1
right to be children, we have
made several serious mistakes
/. We have made school in.
credibly boring and wasteful
so that bright and stupid chill.
dren alike want to get through
it and out into the world.
2. We have used a feminine
model for education, which ha.
meant a domestic model. Little
girls see married women as the
only kind they want to be; lit.
tie boys are forced to keep ur
with the little girls in every.
thing from spelling to dating
3. We have refused to lei
young adolescents work ano
explore the world unless they
are married.
So we have made marriage
the price of freedom for both