Evening star., 1960-02-10
SPOTLIGHT
SpOR7s
Snow Fun Comma Up
By BURTON S. HAWKINS

THE oLYMPIcs, longunderwear division will get
under way at squaw Valley in few days It's these
things will happen:
The Russian flag will be hung upside down by frozen
fingered unky and the nfuriated Soviets will threaten
to leave.
Only 457 spectators and 45S Olympic officials will view
the third day of figure skating and blame for this will
be focused the high price of tickets American dsn-
terest in winter sports, Asian flu, gin rummy gin and
Eisenhower.
Seven buses will be stranded in the snow and pas
sengerS will be rescued by helicopter. One Hollywood
ngure will be among those saved and she'll be cited for
keeping the toes of little old grandmother warm by
tuckng them in the pockets of her sable coat.
An electronic computer guaranteed % determine
ners instantly and whisk scoring info mascu . press
radio and televson with preso-pront proficiency will
sputter and conk out.
ONE OF THE MERRIER United States female COM
petitorS will be caught up after $3.50 pm playing penny
ante poker with reporters and will be dismissed from the
squad.
small avalanche will be touched off purposely by
experts to avoid later larger one, and four Russians
will be mperled by the descending Secretary of
State Herter will apologize.
wealthy industriaist who rented house for $7O
purchased $1686 worth of winter clothing $3.50 of
tickets and 10 of whkey will devote all of his at
tention to the latter and won't moment of the
competition.
Hollywood star, ss-24-41, will tberate the lack of
sex appeal among contestants and reveal that
despite the Squaw Valley cold she still sleeps cozy
comfy, window up, in nothing whatsoever
THERE WILL BE % articles why Europeans ac-
customed to running for bomb shelters their youth
harder athletes.
Some 6,792 photographs of girls and II of will
be servced by Associated Press wrephoto and sports
editors will snort Indignantly that not enough female
art is coming through.
The Messrs. Nixon, Kennedy, Symington Johnson,
Humphrey and Stevenson will show up and place them
selves strategicaly in front of Tv All will be
photographed with pretty Penny Pitou, and one will
tumble out of ski lift
The heating system will break down, but only in
Russian quarters
mother delcately will wipe away tear at rink
side while comforting her defeated daughter then slap
her offspring vcousy in the privacy of their room.
Subsdization of United States athletes will be de-
manded by AZ sports coumnsts, all of whom will point
to the plan of numerous other countries
gngery the rink to examine skate racings of figure
skaters.
RUSSIA WILL FINISH third but will proclaim itself
a winner under its scoring system.
A television commercial will black out the most
exciting seconds of the entire meet
There will be IA fights involving television camera
men and sports writer's and there will be three hair
pulling episodes among female competitors.
Jayne Mansfield will appear driving dogsled team,
and 3S TV cowboys will roam the in outlandsh outfits
All losing coaches will complain that the ice was TOO
brittle and the snow too muShy
Numerous writer's will wire for more expense money
after excursions to Las Vegas.
Russians Czechs Poles HungarianS AuStrians British
French NorWegianS, SwedeS Danes, Germans SWISS ana
Americans will agree that arrangements accommodations
and food were the worst of all time TbeanS will express
gratitude for superb hospitality.