Evening star., 1959-12-20
BY JACK CLELAND
Contributing Writer


our house is usually a 48-
hour marathon which begins
bright and early on the
morning of the oath.
My wife has a thousand
little chores for me to do such
as buy a tree, check the
lights, don't forget to tip the
trash man" (as if they'd let
me), mail those laSt-minute
cards Tin answer to the ones
just received from those peo-
pie who didn't send us any
last year,, pick up the turkey
and buy some cigars for the
milkman.
OF course I have to inform
my wife that my presence is
required at the Office as this
is the date of the annual
office Christmas party.
ICan Go
After roughly 20 minutes Of
heated discussion (the neigh
bors have another name for
it, my wife agrees that I can
attend the Office party, but
only after extracting a prom
Use I'll be home before 5 pm.
and in condition to carry out
the Herculean tasks awaiting
me.
Shortly after 8 pm. I ar
rive home dragging a rather
stunted fir tree behind me
cit is the only one that will
fit in the taXD, full of good
holiday spirits. and ready to
enjoy the "togetherness" of
Christmas eve. I am as well
come as typhoid epidemic.
Nevertheless, l busy myself
getting this beautiful fir set
up in the living room before
the rest of the needles fall
of. My wife dashes out to
the store to pick up the
turkey and mail the cards
she found in my pocket.
1t seems that when she
returns from the store I am
reclining on the couch await
ing further orders. My at
tempt to save my strength
for the arduouS work ahead
comes to a crashing halt.
With the aid of a well-placed
foot in the small of my back
I find myself propelled into
action.
AS the night drags on, the
after-glow of the Office party
wears of and I find myself
surrounded by children who
want to hang tinsel every
where but on the tree. Only
half of the lights will work
and every ornament has to
have a new hook put on it.
After six broken ornaments I
turn this job over to my wife
and go back to trying my luck
with the lights.
Around II pm. my wife
manages to get the children
(who are basket cases by
now upstairs to bed so we
can sneak their gifts out Of
hiding for arrangement under
the tree.
To the Garage
My wife tells me to go out
to the garage and get the
tricycle. she has purchased
for our youngest. What she
doesn't tell me, however, is
that it arrived unasSembled.
A half hour later finds me
in the cellar in a field of
nuts and bolts and a do-it-
yourself instruction book re-
quiring a degree in engineer
ing to understand.
To add to the confusion it
seems this tricycle. is a for
eign make and the instruc-
tions are printed in German,
French and what looks like
Syrian. I settle for the Syrian
as by this time it's really aca-
demic what the instructions
say anyway as the vehicle is
decentralization a fashion
Finally, around 2::30 am
the living room is ready fol
the kiddies to come charging
in and see what Santa left
during the night. We figure
they stayed up so late they'll
probably sleep until noon.
AS the first faint rays oi
sun come creeping into our
bedroom my wife and I are
jolted out of bed by squeals
coming from the living room
below. The clock says 6:1S
am. What I say can't be
printed here.
We drag ourselves down
stairs just in time to see our