Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1958-02-02

This satire on every official intervieW
granted bettpeen the rising of RuSSia'S Sputnik
I and our oion Explorer Is reprinted from the
NeiD Leader magazine. We are assured that
Mr.. Thrust is an internationally knoton military
expert, having been personal security chief to
the Archduke Franz Ferdinand of Austria and
member OF the policy planning stat of the
government of Manchukuo The high spokes-
he interviews is, of course, engaged in york
so secret and so vital to tree-Dorld security
that nobody else krotUs his true identity.
BY wOTAN THRUST
@. Mr. Spokesman can you enlghten me on
Sputniks hopnks Jupiters, ICBMs and all these
new devices we keep hearing about?
A. OF course, my dear sir. Naturally, where
information is classified, my lips are sealed But
everything else can tell you. What do you want
to know?
Q. Are the sputniks really Of military
signifcance2
A. Indeed they are They prove that Kru-
shchev wasn't fooling when he said he had the
ICBM
Q. And the ICBM can hit any target in the
United States?
A. Only theoretically, my dear sir. 1t isn't
operational
@. Not operational2
A. Not operational. Anybody can build an
ICBM or two To mass-produce them is the crux
Of the matter. And the SovietS don't.
@. Why don't they?
"A. Their industrial capacity is insufficient
@. How do you know?
A. My lips are sealed.
The True Meaning
@. Very WELL Mr.. Spokesman. If the Sputniks
have no significance other than to prove that the
SovietS have ICBMs and If they really haven't
got any ICBMs, what, then, is the military
| significance?
A. You put your finger right on it, sir. The
significance is very limited. Shooting up pieces
| Of junk, call it.
@. Could we do it, too?
A. Certainly we could have done it years ago.
@. Why didn't we then, Mr.. Spokesman?
A. There is absolutely no sense engaging in
a race on this sort Of thing. Well send one up
when we're good and ready.
Q. But isn't it true that we now have crash
program?
A. You bet we have. We can't let those Russkis
get away with murder, can we?
Q. But you just said there was no need for
race
A. None whatever. It's Just that we must
catch up as quickly as we can.
@. Why must we, Mr.. Spokesman?
A. World opinion. Look at Indonesia, look at
| Ifni. You think these jokers would bulge II we
had fred the satellite frst?
Q. So you think the sputnik is important in
the cold war?
A. Decisive, my dear sir.
The United States as leader Of the free world
| cannot accept technical inferiority.
G. What would be the consequences?
A. People would look elsewhere for leadership.
The Western alliance would fall apart. Eventually
the world would 60 Communist
G. 80 Khrushchev has scored q great political
victory by launching the Sputniks?
A. To the contrary. 1t was boomerang.
People have drawn closer together than ever
under the common threat. There is q new kind
Of Western unity.
O. Because the United States has no Sputniks?
A. For that very reason, sir.
Why Build one3
@. Then why are we building one, Mr.
Spokesman
A. 1t is plain question Of survival, my dear
fellow. Have you read the Gather report7
@. No, Mr.. Spokesman. Have you?
A. Nobody has read the Gather report. 1t Is
q very good report, though.
Q. What does 1t say2