Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1958-02-06
Anything Goes
Here S Test
To End All
Those Tests
BY George Waleski

JOulIldllSlu, we nave p [ d
group of representative citizens
busy nights, Sundays and holt
days, studying, revising and
otherwise improving existing
personality tests.
Personality tests are those
boxes sometimes expanded into
whole pages) that have titles:
Are You a Better Husband
Than Your Wife?"; "Test your
ox-cart Skill; Are You and
Your Fiancee Meant For Each
Other?" you'd better be, she's
sent the invitations - but you
take the test anyway. would
You Panic in an Emergency"
and "Are You a Good Samar-
itan?"
Each title, provocative, allur-
ing, slightly illicit, beckons you
down a path of True and False,
Yes and No. The interpretations
are buried somewhere on page
%, which the printer hasn't
numbered and in a feverish
panic you finally find that
you're not so bad. In fact, you've
got a good score. OF course you
have. You don't think for
minute that anyone reading that
particular Sunday supplement
would be called stupid. Not with
subscribers so hard to get.
Our representative group of
citizens did well. They even went
so far as to try to get bad scores
by taking tests for married
people and single people, ner-
vous people and calm people,
drivers and non-drivers, lovers
and haters. In each case they
scored well regardless of quail
fication. In fact I was present
the delightful evening when a
blindfold chimpanzee scored
very well on "Do You Really
Like Pets?" He was a willing
subject but difficult to score.
How we managed this will be
related in later column.
Our group came up with a
universal personality test, which
defines personalities in specific
terms. Answer each of the fol-
lowing questions true, false or
never-mind. And to make it
easier we are printing the
answers right side up, after
each question. None of that
hunting back and forth.
l. Your name appears in a
column in the public press. You
a. Talk to your lawyer.
b. Check the spelling of your
name.
C. Renew your subscription
and order a full page ad.
If you've answered all three
false, your name has never been
mentioned. If true, your name is
joseph Geeraert.
2. You answer your telephone
pleasantly. no matter what the
hour or TV program. You are
available for parties, commit
tees and endless hours of free
civic work. You are nice to
everyone.
a, That wasn't true 6 months
ago.
b. This NAV not be true after
Nav 20.
Both answers true? You are
an unannounced Democrat can
didate for CONGRESS-. Both false?
You are Governor McKeldin.
3. You no longer read the
newsnaners at breakfast. The
tax rate eats I'm your annette.
Schools and roads pct more ex.
pensive every dav. Those people
in the County Building don't
know ANYTHING about how to
spend money.
True? You are an up-county
farmer whose pronertv hasn't
been reassessed for 20 wears.
a. You are walking down
street, headed for the county
store. Your arms are full of
bundles. You see man an
proaching. You've owed him S.
for two years.
a. You cross the street.
b. You nut down YOUR bundles
and give him your last
five.
c. You give him a big hello
and tell him you haven't
forgotten him.
This one gave the select
group some trouble. If your
answers to all three are true,
you'd better keep away from
the county store.