The Petal paper. [volume] (Petal, Miss.) 1953-19??, 1957-03-14
Our Gem, He's Real Gone. Mon. Real Gone
Now, Amt He A Real Cool Cat, Man!
ttFrom May 81. 1856 Issue)

ttFrom May 81 1856 Issue)
Having grown up in Mississippi (born and ruin
ed), and attending the public schools of the state
recall having been taught two things which, with the
help of the real gone Magnolia shall not forget
First which has bearing here, the fact that
history instructor told us that the reason our
forefathers injected the two dollar poll tax clause into
the Constitution of Mississippi in 1890 to keep
the Negroes from voting Upon passing that delightful
bit OF unbiased information our instructor smiled Sc
renely We students responded with knowing giggle
Second which does have some bearing here, was
the fact that an English instructor once told us that
even in poor writing statement should be made rare
ly, if Preference he said should be given to
Showing, not telling"
Since this is of a character study than
mon, hope to be able to SHOW" you that The Most
Right Honorable James Oliver Eastland, senior
United States Senator, is Alligator mani
Of course all the cool hereabous know he is just
that but what do they know of all his other sterling
qualities?
Incidentally, The Most Right Honorable James
Oliver Eastland shall be referred to hereinafter
"Our Gem, the reference being made for the simple
reason that we have such regard admiration and re-
Spect for him.
AS we all know very WELL our cool Magnolia State
has enemies outside its boundaries especial
ly north of the Mason and Dixon line, all being Yam
kee squares oftcourse. Our Gem has fought these
radicals these liberals, these carpetbaggers with the
vigor and daring of real cool lion, He has,
numerous occasions, shown his ability statesman
of the stfmagnude, diplomat of imagination and
character true Southern Gentleman of the old school
in his encounters with those who would dare call us
anything but what we 1000 Red Blooded Mis-
sssippians with slight sprinkle of real cool blue,
that is.
On one occasion, in Senate hearing "Our Gem"
called a witness God damned son-of-a bitch" On
a number of occasions he has called niger just
what he is, a4,sNigger" On the floor of the United
States Senate day, in his eternal fight for
real gone Magnolia rights, Our Gem" called ell
derby colleague, .liar" Man, amt he real gone!
At any rate feel you will agree with us that
Our Gem is polished gentleman of unquestionabe,
indeed, unbelievable intelligence:
Well it just proves that "Our Gem" fights square
enemies on their own ground and wins hands
down for the solid Magnolia.
Seriously Jackson amt he real cool cat
What is considered by large group of squares
to be great newspaper in border state (And right
here and let set you straight that matter.
There is no such thing Border State" Either
they're fer agn u.s. had this to say about Our
Gem" Senator Eastlands contributions to wartime
nsFhJl1 1d sssse a4 ss pepa
Gernlt8i fstug subway by Senegalese
soldifE 9efupator forces ss Undersecretary
of WaNRebeft Patterson reted the first charge; Cen
eral ithe second after eorrespondents
pointed BNfHfhat Stuttgart has no subway and Go),
that there were Senegalese with the French occupa
Hs"werrt Did you You understand of course.
lat Patterson and Devers Yankee squares and
not ebe trusted out of sight That's real plain to
Now what about the editor of the sheet that
deals in such yellow journalism? Well, Jackson,
took it Oh ourselves to call up that editor the tee
phone and remind him that Our Gem just might
decide Ito get some skim Mississippi STYLE there!
You know what he said? Get this well, good!" Ma
turally hung up the telephone. Well, wouldn't you
have done the thing? He disrespectfu,
subversive, too
We don't know how it got that way, but the fact
is this nation IS just full of squares folks who have
gone off their trolley that is Example,: The Protes-
tant Episcopal Diocese Of New York CA Yankee state,
square, you must remember) has accused Our Gem
of subYersion just real and because it comes from
u. S. Senator far more dangerous than any perpe-
trated By the Communist Party" c.Our Gem" just
may get 4 gunny sack full of skin limb from limb,
man, there) Seriously, Jackson, wouldn't that just
make John Calhoun and Jeff Davis turn somersaults
in their tombs yes, and "The Man Blbo too.
Subversive?. Maybe. that bunch had better look up
the word 1--WE Mississippians know who the sub
versives ssf. well, anyway, Jackson, Our Gem
took it in his stride and investigated the New York
Times from top to bottom And that figure, ought
to show em thing or two. ae
Now don't you agree that "Our Gem" is real cool
cat? ss&as$1 -
Anyway,sas a 1907 red blooded, tolerant South
must overlook those square Yankee Christians
Naturally, everyone knows that Christianity varies from
place to place. and the thing that caused this bgoted
outburs by the Episcopal Diocese the fact that Or
Gem has fought those nine old squares in Washington
who would destroy way Of life They just simply
cannot stand good Clean intelligent high class fighter
like "Our Gem"
And with reference to fighting for our way of life,
cat among squares, mind you, in his fight for all of