Tabor City tribune. (Tabor City, N.C.) 1946-1991, 1957-07-24
Arthur
Says
By-Billy Arthur

inventions of all time. One
man preferred the fellow who
invented the locomotive, an
other offered the person who
conceived the compass, a third
suggested Edison, another Mar
conf and his wireless, and still
another said il was the Wright
Brothers and their airplane.
Finally, one OF them spoke
up the second time. You
KNOW" said he. that fellow
who invented interest was no
SLOUGH"
That sent me 10 my files, ana
| found that Tar Heels were
early inventors, according TO
the newspapers of the l80G'S.
The Charlotte Chronicle cred
tied a Tar Heel with inventlng
mules and putting out Of
work thousands of farm 10
men"
The Wilson Mirror said the
hay press was invented by
woman we know. She probably
got the idea from d desire tC be
Rugged from all SiucS at once"
The Henderson Gold Leaf
learned that "a young man il
Wake County namCu Joe Park
er has invented a kind of pillow
that can be made TO do the
work of three or four different
implements simply by raising
bar. Now. if he will invent
one to do the worn while the
man sits in the shade. his for
tune will be made
James Larkln Pearson COZ
tended in the Moravian Falls
Fool Killer that the di4hraC
Is a wonder full invention. Hist
DRY IS strangely silent at the
name of the inventor. But look
al II as | have behind the stove
and try to imagine how he
world would have gotten along
without II. How Faithfully and
unComplainingly II has served
mankind, and now badly il
has been treated. Ii has TO be
content with nuzZling over the
empty dishes after the greedy
boarderS have gobbIed up eve
rything."
Many of the editors praised
the electric light. but ! cannot
subscribe To that / think that
while we may hove proSpcred
with every Improvement in
artificial light. We certainly
have been hampered in our
love making.
The cave man and cave kir,
knew nothing of the delights of
CourtShip. They were ignorant
of almost everything except
carving on cave walls. and all
because they had no lamps o.
candles or oulbS. At nights Il cy
either went TO beu or sat by
a camp fire light. II a cave girl
and her sutton ais" sat by il,
they we're restrained by the
presence of the Old folks. Thus
the practice of stealing & rlS
became so common that dad
wouldn't let valuable one gel
out of the light. So she was
not courted, but passed from
maidenhood TO wifehood by
being either bought or stolen.
Then came candles am
lamps, and the couples could
sit IN one room and the old
folks in another. But the orig
inal lamps, like candles, wer.
unmanageable - they could II
be turned down. But il is said
that Pythagoras invented a
semi transparent collapSible
screen which could be put over
the lamp to screen the light.
and the screen could be ccn-
cealed in the folds of a toga in
case the old man came in.
Next was the Rosh light
which superseded the Roman
lamp because of ire high price
Of oil in the Middle Ages. But.
you couldn't turn It down e.th-
er. 1t was terrible, because tive
armor of the young men was
kept so highly polished il re-
Elected light brilliantly. So pri-
yacy in company with an i'll
Eliminated knight was impossi-
BILE.
Too. when DAD stopped pol
ishing his helmet or putting a
new rivet in his shirt to check
on his daughter, he always
found her sitting on one end
OF the sofa and her brilli mt
knight on the other end. She
didn't dare get close to him.
because her hair might get
caught in his shoulder scales,
or his mailed coat sleeve would
shine conspicuously around her
feminine waist. So all the
knights did was write poetry
and strum guitars under wind
ows. Very unsatisfactory.
Then came the wick lamps,
OF which the wicks could be
turned UP or down. Their in
ventor was the father of Di-
vine love making. The women
nailed the wick lamps, because
they had an excuse for turning