Madison County Democrat. (London, Ohio) 19??-1958, 1957-08-30
i OUR
"a TOWN

PEOPLE
Husbands don't buy mink
stoles to keep their wives
warm-just quiet.
LIFE
Who says that people over
forty never get any exercise?
The wife of a local merry
maker told us the other day
that her husband had been out
seven nights running!
ONE WAY
Zilch: "Say, Fitch, how did
you go through your inherit
ance so fast?"
Fitch: II spent half of it on
wine, women and song and
then / iust plain squandered
the rest"
FISH STORY
The only bad part about be-
ing fish is that you would
never be able to tell another
fish how big the worm was.
QUOTE
Louis M. Lyons, Curator of
Harvard University's Nieman
Fellowship said this There
is no substitute for local own
ership of so strategic a COM
munity institution as news
paper"
ADVICE
The philosophers will tell
you that borrowing money is
good way to lose friends. Our
advice is to borrow lot and
in this way the loss of friend
ship will be greatly lessened.
Besides, your creditor will
probably get his money back!
SENSE
General Douglas Macarthur
has never been accused of a
lack of cranial calculations.
For instance, old Doug recent
ly made the following observa-
ton Americans will pay
for government this year more
than they will spend on food,
clothing, medical care and re-
ligious activities"
GALS
We have noticed that most
of the girls who wouldn't play
post Office" have ended up
in the Dead Letter Office.
HuMNN
And remember, nothing is
ever perfect-even the Liberty
Bell has a crack in it.
MEDICINE
A hypochondriac is a person
who uses his last bit of energy
trying to get to the drug store
before 1t closes.
OLD GooDiE
Old but good is this one.
Seems a fellow we'll call Sam
had a race horse that died.
Another man had tried unsuc-
cessfully to buy the horse for
long time and was surprised
to get a phone call from Sam
offering the horse for about
half of his price. Turned out
that he ended up with a dead
horse, of course, but as time
went by, Sam chanced to meet
his friend and was surprised
to find him in good spirits and
without any hard feelings.
Sam asked him how he felt
about buying the dead horse
and was told that the friend
had made clear 81 900 profit
after selling rattle tickets on
the nag. Sam asked, "But
what did the winner say?"
The friend blythely stated,
"Oh, nothing much-you see.
gave him his money back"
RECORD
Just for the record we would
like to make it clear that Bos-
ton Cream Pie is called WASH
ington Cream Pie-in Boston
In Washington it is called :.
you're right!
OUCH!
These little foreign cars
have many advantages. We
heard about a guy who drove
into filling station and had
his oil changed and his shoes
shined at the same time.
OK ROAST
The OK Roast at West JEFF
ferson has become real an
nual event and the West JEFF
ferson men and women re-
sponsible for promoting the
affair should be highly comp
limented for their efforts :.
therefore, we are herewith Of
fering our own congrats!
SUGGESTION
1t follows that perhaps the
polo players who haven't play
ed polo in the Polo Grounds
for many a year might buy
Ebbetts Field for that pur-
pose.
STATISTICS
Saw in the papers the other
day that no place on earth Is
more than 90 hours away by
air. Oblivion is even closer.
LAST WORD
Don't cook the duck with
the feathers on, mother, I
don't want to get down in the
mouthl