Madison County Democrat. (London, Ohio) 19??-1958, 1957-01-04
e OUR
"a fK6TWN
WELL?

A time-payment record is
nothing more than an auto
biography. And it's fact that
the only place where success
comes before work is in the
dictionary.
LIVING
Everyone knows that money
can't buy happiness but there
are millions of us trying to
get ii on credit.
OUCH!
Member of the London
Chapter of Alcoholics Unanirn-
Gus asked another, Where
are you going to spend New
Years Eve?" Other pondered
a moment and replied, AT
Mothers" We'll" said the
first, that is fine thing for
you to do-very thoughtful" :"
To which statement came this
answer - You don't under
stand I'm spending New
Years Eve at Mothers Bar
and Grill"
LIFE
Couple of friends of the de-
ceased were on their way to
the funeral when one said,
We'll, after a liftime of adj
versity, old Bill finally had
stroke of good luck" Good
luck! Why the poor old fell
lows deadr Yeah, but they
struck oil while they were dig
ging his grave" came the
clincher.
HuMNN!
They can never accuse us OF
being against desegregation-
we've been printing the paper
in black-and-white for years!
KID STUFF
Policemen took the small
boy in tow and after wiping
away his tears the little boy
told the cop that he was lost
from his father. And what's
your father like?" asked the
helpful cop. Little boy sobbed
a couple of times and said,
Beer and women-mostly!
INTERVIEW
Personnel manager was in
terviewing a prospective en-
ployee. do you drink"
Nope" do you smoke ?"
Nope" do you go out with
girls? ?" Nope" Whereupon
the personnel manager looked
up and asked, Don't you have
any vices? Yes, one" came
the answer. And what is
that" II tell lies!"
NEW YEAR
For a lot of people New
Years Day is time when
curtains bang, the cat stamps
his feet and a bromo seltzer
sounds like Niagara Falls.
VIEWPOINT
Being able to take the ups
and downs in life would be a
whole lot easier if it weren't
for the jerks in between.
OUTLOOK
In the world today are an
enormous number of people
who survive simply on the
nourishment provided by TAX
ing bites out of the hands that
feed them build a better
mousetrap and some mouse
will come along who wants a
share of the profits.
GAMBLE
Attention Horsepiayers! The
only way you can win a mil
lion dollars at the race track
is to be a horse!
MODERN AGE
This is the age in which al
most every sweet young thing
does her level best to break
her dates.
NAME
Some of the local wags have
renamed the maternity ward
at Mt. Carmel Hospital the
"Stork Club"
DISCOVERY
We learned something the
other day which we wish we
had never discovered and
which has been bothering us
ever since snails sing!
TRAVEL
All the Joy of driving high
powered car at high speed on
an expressway makes one
feel amazed to be alive!
QUESTION
Could il be that Marilyn
\ Monroe is the shape of things
70 come? If so, please pass the
yogurt and the wheat-germ
breadi
FUTURE
Scientists say that large
families are on the increase
and that houses full OF kids
are in prospect for the future.
we agree if all that is being
said about the shorter work
week and automatioi are to
be believed-after all, what
else will people have TO do?
LAST WORD
II is hard to believe that our
forefathers fought a war to
avoid taxation.