Madison County Democrat. (London, Ohio) 19??-1958, 1957-02-15
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LIFE
Wealthy Ohioan drove mis-
big car up to fancy motel
down in Florida, handed the
attendant a $50 bill and said,
Here you are, Mac. Look af
ter my car will your" Porter
eyed the man with a broad
grin and replied, "Sho' will,
boss! l got a car jes lax dat
'ceptin' mahn's a foah-doah"
MODERN AGE
For a price, you can have
the following flown in from
Paris-lamb in white wine,
veal in champagne or beer
mulled beef. This would be
one way to get an alcholic to
EAT something.
BUSINESS
Ginsberg and Goldfarb had
clothing stores next door to
each other and both went to
great lengths to improve their
respective businesses. one
night Ginsberg sneaked down
to his store and painted IF
You Need Tive Have 1t" on
his window. Next night old
Goldfarb slipped down and put
UP "If We Don't Have It
You Don't Need It!'
NERVES
Lot O. talk these days about
pills called ''tranquiliZers" and
many big business men are
taking them by the handfuls.
OF course, this situation may
be necessary but we think that
what this world needs are
some pills which we would
call "anxieters" and to be used
by all the lazy louts running
around loose with not a worry
in the carload.
suoN THoT
Between Lincoln's and Wash
ington's birthdays it is only
fitting that all of US realize
how much we owe our govern
ment-and how long it's going
to take us TO pay up!
GOOD OLD DAYS
Back in the good old days
YOU had to grind crank Tor
hours TO get the ice cream
ready to eat. Nowadays you
can't cut it with an axe!
VIEWPOINT
An optimist is a fellow who
will help you to get out OF a
tough situation. A pessimist is
a guy who will get in it with
you.
MEN FROM MARS
In way, we hope the flying
saucers are real looks as
though it is the only way we
can get full cooperation in the
United Nations.
HOLY MATRlMoNY
Feebledorster: IS ee you
bought your wife a new mink
coat-keep her warm"
Fleeglemeyer: IN aw
quiet"
ROMANCE
Heard about a fellow who is
a real Don Juan in more ways
than one. Not only is this guy
a great lover in all respects
but he even insures his contin-
ued success with the ladies
everytime he takes a plane
trip he buys a bunch of those
two-bit, $4,000 insurance poll
cies and names every doll in
his address books as his bene-
ficiary! Man, this is really
thinking on your feet!
PERFECT sQUELcH
Big wheel was putting up
beef to a room clerk at a mid
west hotel. Sir" said the
main cog, You'll have to teach
YOUR employees better man.
nersi That insolent porter
over there didn't even know
NV name so told him Thad-
deus @. Gehunkadunka' and s
walked away"
Room clerk pondered the
outburst short moment and
asked, "And what is your
REAL name, sir ?"
OVERHEARD
Overheard in psychiatrists
office was this Madam, do
not worry about your little
boy whom you tell me put his
dogs tail in the meat-grinder.
There is no such thing as a
really bad boy Mean, sadistic,
merciless-even savage maybe
but never really BADr
CELEBRATION
Saw a man the other day
who was suffering from a very
severe case of Spiritus Fru-
menti. He was barely able to
humble that he was celebrat-
ing the breaking of his orly
remaining New Years reEciu-
ton.
LAST WORD
There are a lot of people
who can trace their ancestry
back to William the Conquer
or but haven't the slightest
idea where Junior has been for