Madison County Democrat. (London, Ohio) 19??-1958, 1957-02-01
4 OUR
ia TOWN
HEPsTER's WEBSTER

BlnBeTNdtlHR 1--WE 10 SApldlH
a few of the terms used by
jazzmen all over the country.
Hampton calls it all spec
tacular vernacular" and says
that the day of the old fash
ioned "hep-cat" is as passe as
last years New Years resolu-
ton. Nowadays cat is called
a tub" and a guy who doesn't
wear a beret and a goatee is
a ''moldy fig" AS you can see,
much of this jargon is express
sive and really makes person
flip his lip"
If a "gibblehead" Ga person
who asks stupid questions)
sounds" (asks) a tub ques-
ton but doesn't understand
the answer, he is said to be
unable to dig the "vonset.'
(vonset is a term meaning
anything you want 1t to-. II
you take five" you merely
shake hands. Bread is hard
cash and a "dime" means ten
dollars. The post office" is
the bank and sister" Is
close pal. Thank you is
French-fried and comes out
mercy bucket"
Women come in to the pic
ture too so don't be insulted If
one of the tubs refers TO you
as a rooney" This means
that you're worth looking at.
If they call you a round roo
ney' that's even better. But IL
they call you a bad rooney
1t means that you are beauti-
full beyond even their blippiest
description. Just as long as
they don't refer to you as a
"hock" (ham-hocks) you'll
do.
And now will one of you
gibbleheads put me on for a
dime so that I can sound one
of the sisters about that bad
rooney over there?
slcN-o-TiMEs
Sign on bird cage in a pet
shop - Canary For Sale -
Cheep!"
FACT
Best way to keep your hus-
band at home, lady, is to get
him a baby-sitter. And it's al
so a fact that, at the age OF
seventeen, lipstick contains
more vitamins than a whole
bottle from the drugstore :.
this accounts for the old say
ing that all men are created
free and eager!
OUTLOOK
One of the most encourag-
ing conclusions we've come to
of late is that it is still pos
sibIe to get an education if
you can't play football.
HumNN!
Nothing makes the average
man madden than calling him
an average man.
AMERICA
America is the one place in
the world where accomplish
ment takes precedent over
background but unfortun-
ately our happiness is usually
based upon good health and a
poor memory.
OUCH!
Farmer out in Kansas sent
his young daughter off to an
eastern finishing school. One
day he received letter from
her stating that she was get
ting along fine and that she
had "fallen in love with Ping
Pong" Old boy went to the
nearest telegraph office and
sent a wire which said !.
Come home Immediately.
Will not tolerate a mixed mar
riage!
STATISTIC
Fellow has figured out that
a 1908 model car would cost
100000 If 1t were made by
hand today at present wage
scales.
SURPRISE
II is nice to know that so
many former cave women
have turned out to be den
mothers.
GOLF
In a local golf tournament
one day the starter caught one
Of our boys driving off In
front of the tee markers. You
can't do that! You're disquali-
fed" shouted the starter.
Jaw. go frv an egg" said our
boy I'm shooting three"
AGE
For a portion of person.
life he has to deal with II :
sion and reason. But whey ne
gets up there a way ne Ifrd'
that passion is on vacation and
reason is getting the best Of
Aim.
LAST WORD
The modern self-made mar
is just a fellow who came from
. moor one-car family.