The Petal paper. [volume] (Petal, Miss.) 1953-19??, 1957-01-10
Our Gem. He's Reol Gone. Mon. Real Gone
Now, Amt He A Real Cool Cat, Man!
t(From May 81. 1856 Issue)

t(From May 81. 1856 Issue
Having grown up in Mississippi (born and ruin
ed and attending the public schools OF the state,
recall having been taught two things which, with the
help of the real gone Magnolia, shall not forget
First which has bearing here, was the fact that
history instructor told us that the reason
foreathers injected the two dollar poll tax clause into
the Constitution of Mississippi in 1890 to keep
the Negroes from voting Upon passing that delightful
bit of unbiased information instructor smiled
renely. We students responded with knowing CYCLE.
Second which does have some bearing here, was
the fact that English instructor once told us that
even in poor writing statement should be made
ly, if Preference, he said, should be given to
Showing, not telling"
Since this is more of character study than
mon, hope to be able to Show you that The Most
Right Honorable James Oliver Eastland senior
United States Senator is one more Alligator, man!
Of course all the cool cats hereabouts know he is just
that but what do they know of all his other sterling
qualities?
Incidentally, The Most Right Honorable James
Oliver Eastand shall be referred to hereinafter
"Our Gem, the reference being made for the simple
reason that have such regard, admiration and re-
spect for him.
M AS we all know very WELL our cool Magnolia State
has enemies outside its boundaries especial
ly north of the Mason and Dixon lne all being Yam
kee squares of course. "Our Gem" has fought these
radicals these liberals these carpetbaggers with the
vigor and daring of real cool lion, man. He has,
numerous occasions, shown his ability statesman
of the first magnitude, diplomat of imagination and
character true Southern Gentleman of the old school
in his encounters with those who would dare call
sissippians with slight sprinkle of real cool blue,
that is.
On one OCCASION in Senate hearing "Our Gem
called a witness God damned of-a-btch" On
a number of occasions he has called niger just
what he is, Niger" On the floor of the United
States Senate day, in his eternal fight for our
real gone Magnolia rights, Our Gem" called ell
derby colleague, liar Man, amt he real gone
At any rate we feel you will agree with us that
Our Gem" is polished gentleman of unquestionabe,
indeed, unbelievable intelligence.
met, haf (11lr CaY,,b FIGHTS
enemies on their own ground and wins hands
down for the solid Magnolia.
Seriously, Jackson, amt he a real cool cat!
What is considered by a large group of squares
to be great newspaper in border state (And right
here and now let us set straight that matter
There is such thing Border State. Either
they're fer agin us) had this to say about Our
Gem" Senator Eastland's contributions to wartime
harmony to proclaim that Negro troops would
neither work fight and to disclose mass rape of
German women in Stuttgart subway by Senegalese
soldiers with French occupation forces Undersecretary
of War Robert Patterson refuted the first CHARGE
era Devers denied the second after correspondents
pointed out: (a) that Stuttgart has subway and (b
that there were no Senegaese with the French occupa
ton forces"
Well! Did you ever! You understand, of course,
that Patterson and Devers Yankee squares and
not to be trusted out of sight That's real plain to
Now, what about the editor of the sheet that
deals in such yellow journalism? Well Jackson
took it ourselves to call up that editor the tee
phone and remind him that "Our Gem" just might
decide to get some skim Mississippi style, there
turally we hung up the telephone Well wouldn't you
have done the thing? He disrespectful,
subversive too.
We don't know how it got that way but the fact
this nation just full of squares, folks who have
gone off their trolley, that is. Example The Protes
tant Episcopal Diocese of New York CA Yankee state,
square, you must remember) has accused "Our Gem
of subverson just real and, because it from
u S. Senator, far more dangerous than any perpe-.
trated by the Communist Party" ("Our Gem just
may get gunny sack full of skin, limb from limb.
wouldn't
make John Calhoun and Jeff Davis turn somersaults
in their tombs yes and "The Man" Bilbo, too.
Subversive? Maybe that bunch had better look up
the word we Mississppians know who the SUBJ
versives well, anyway, Jackson, "Our Gem
took it in his stride and investigated the New York
Times from top to bottom. And that, figure ought
to show em thing two.
Now don't you agree that "Our Gem is real cool
cat?
Anyway, 1000 red blooded, tolerant South
must overlook those square Yankee Christians.
place to place. and the thing that caused this bgoed
outburst by the Episcopal Diocese the fact that Our
Gem has fought those nine old squares in Washington
who would destroy way of life. They just simply
cannot stand good, Clean intelligent high class fighter
like "Our Gem"
And with reference to fighting for way of life,
"Our Gem has stood up, lion among rats, real cool
cat among squares mind you in his fight for all of
who are endowed with God given Southern Rights eve