Tabor City tribune. (Tabor City, N.C.) 1946-1991, 1957-01-16
Barney
GIuzer

this morning and mans voice
inquired: rs this the Bank Of
American mo, sir, it isn't" i
replied with proper courtesy to
a total stranger. but my wife
thinks il is"
Yma Sumac, the Peruvian
songStreSs, has been heckled 50
much about her accent shell
like you to know that she is
progressing nicely. Only last
night, says Yma. she had
dream in perfect English.
Jack Brodcr. owner of the
California Racquet Climb, says:
This is such n rough world,
we'll all be lucky 10 get out of
it alive" George Shearing
overheard a salad tosser say
this in Hollywood restaurant:
I'm going back to my first
husband if he can get his third
wife to go back to her second
husband"
Too bad those out-of-thiS-
world spacemcn didn't land in
Los Angeles as predicted re-
Gently. ! had a sign painted
reading: "MartianS Go Home"
And in case there might have
been 4 Marilyn Monroe or Jane
Russell among them, l had an
alternate sign reading: MAR
tians Come Back Soon"
Elevator converS ion:
where did you meet your
wife," y didn't meet her; she
come TO me one night from out
of the Santa Fee freight yards.
My girl and l were park
ed in our car with the top
down. II was i warm, romantic
evening, so I looked up at tho
sky and said: Allegheny
Moon, what in the devil are
you doing over Californian
In the new flicker, Tea
house Of the August Moon"
Glenn Ford explains to Mar
Ion Brandc: What is Democ-
racy? Why Democracy is the
right we have to make the
wrong choice" When /
opened my fortune cookie at a
Chinese restaurant last night,
this was my message: Don't
eat here, Try Kim Tow's a
cross the street"
I've been asked by a worried
and concerned reader: SIS the
corset here TO Stay?" Why. OF
course it is, silly, What's
corset without stay? We
parents expect our children to
act like grownups. but we're
always treating them like bah
les . Which convinccS me
That very often il takes a moth
"r and father longer to grow
up than II takes their children.
The National Institute OF
Drycleaning offers this advice
for stains on your clothes.
Wipe off the food. lightly
spunge the area with cool wat
er. and that's all! Anything you
do to remove the spot may
damage the material finish and
dye. and thus prevent your
cleaner from correcting your
disastrous mistakes"
Did yon folks ever see a Be
fore and After" picture advcr-
tisement? or course you have.
But you've never seen any
where the person is smiling in
Before" and scowling in Aft
err Decca Records is
readying a hi-d album OF AL
Jolson reissues.
Beauty parlor trivia .
iou cont REALLY have in
somnia until you find you can't
sleep when it's time to get up"
=. as she fit to be tied! Her
husband told her last night
that her stockings were wrinkl-
ed" so what's so tragic about
wrinkled stockings?" "She
wasn't wearing any stockings
that's what's so tragic!"
A teen-age reader writes:
Just what is puppy love?"
Dear teen-ager. take II from
me, and l can speak freely be-
cause my wife inst left the
room, puppy love is the begin
ming Of dogs life.
Short short play Of the week
There is knock on the door.
The housewife answers the
knock. A man is on the porch
He inquiries: Pm a handyman.
is there anything here that
isn't working" Housewife.
Yes, nv husband 4" rurta;p