Tabor City tribune. (Tabor City, N.C.) 1946-1991, 1957-01-09
Barney
CIuzer

the next tnree months VIII Dc
the biggest quarter in the his
tory of our country. AS one
economist points out: You'll
have to run like heck just Il
stand still" New ideas in
'home-buying: In Fullerton,
California. rent now and
buy later" plan with families
paying Sis per month, of
which $40 is set aside as their
down payment In Boston,
Mass, a used house trade-in-
plan, as just you trade in your
used car for a new one.
Our granddaughter Debbie is
learning how to stick things in
to her nose. And it won't be
too long before she'll be stick
ing her nose into things .
Daddy" squeaked the four
ycar-old, whats an hour"
That" replied her father, sis
when the phone operator says:
Just moment, please"
Due TO all the confusion on
the Yes and No propositions, l
voted n straight maybe ticket
-. Which reminds me that I've
always told my daughters to
vote NO on EVERY proposition
Studio worker to producer
at motion picture sneak pre-
view: $50, what's new" .
Friend of mine, whose wife is
away on family visit, walked
over to his fireplace, picked up
an implement, and sighed:
This reminds me of my loving
wife" He was holding a bent
poker.
II the automobiles get any
lower, they'll come in handy
for next springs blowing e.
I'll agree with doctors that a
straight shot of bourbon daily
can't cure common cold, but
then again neither can doctors
Walter Mendenhall chuck
les over the young lads remark
that he doesn't have to say
prayers before eating because
his MONS a good cook.
II you're a delinquent bill
payer, you'll soon be receiving
this new-fanGled statement:
Crime Pays. So Why Don't
You? Friend of mine
manufactured a toy train that
won't break. Dropped it from
a 20-tory building. hit il with
4 pavement buster. ran a steam
roller over it, dynamited it, and
darned if it didn't remain in
tact. Then let his two-year-old
play with it and within 20
minutes there were 10 pieces
where there used TO be one
train.
The telcvision show. Las
sic" wound up last week with
the closeup of dogs tail wa
ging. You Just can't find hap
pier ending" than that
ProgrcSS-that's when YOU buy
20 acres Of land in the wide
open country and before Won
realize II tho next door neigh
Dor is knocking on your door
and asking for the loan of your
trowel so she can weed her
window box.
When the real estate broker
sells you the house, he dc
scribeS the bathroom flooring
as: warm, colorful. casy-to-
clean, glamorous tile" but
when the carpet company
wants to sell you bathroom
carpeting, they call it: cold.
slippery. and dangerous tile
floors"
Has il ever happened to you?
You meet an old friend you
haven't seen for Is years and
when you ask: whatever hap
pcned to that dumpy old creep.
Lucille ShlogoShmire?" he re-
plies: II married her"
Tccn-ager in our block wants
to become an FBI expert for
DECIDING messages. He's pract e
icing on 33 l/3 rpm records
run at 70 rpm speed.
1t happened on Vine Street
in Hollywood, when a motion
picture extra, dressed as q
MountlcS, hurried to ms studio.
An caStctn visitor walked over
20 him and said: Mister. either
you're lost or / i'm" The
difference between hop and
DiNiCl~nd musicians. according
10 Jazzman Eddie Condor. IS
that bop men flat their filths.
whereas DiXiClandcrs drink
theirs.