Madison County Democrat. (London, Ohio) 19??-1958, 1957-09-03
i OUR
"a TOWN.

ing with finger? Do you buy
new shoe laces before the old
ones break? Clean out your
attic without reading all the
old newspapers and maga-
zines? Pass a place where
they are putting up a building
without stopping to watch?
Do you refrain from talking
about your operation when a
friend speaks of his? Renew
your subscription before it
runs out? Can you eat just
one peanut? Turn off the tele-
vision in the middle of the
late. late, late show?
If you can answer any of
these questions with a Eyes"
then somebody is goll-durn-
ed liar!
BOOZE
Frowsy woman stopped off
at a neighborhood bar. She
announced, II lost mother to-
day" Several of the regulars
volunteered free drinks with
gusto.
And what did your mother
die of ?" asked one of the ben
efactors.
"Aw, she amt dead" said
the female bar fly, 'I lost her
at another bar down the
street!'
KID STUFF
Father was complaining to
his son about the girl the boy
was going out with. Dad in
sisted that the boy be a little
more particular about his fem
mine companionship.
Boy stopped the old man
with this rejoinder-"Sorry
dad, but she's the best girl
can get with the car we've
got!"
PEST
There always seems to be
some pest around when ad-
versity strikes who will ask
the obvious question. If you
fall down a flight of stairs,
some guy will rush up and ask
"Are you hurt 2"
We heard story about a
fellow who was busily shovel
ing his car out of the mire
when some twerp strolled up
to him and asked, Stuck in
the mud?"
Fellow breezily replied,
"Nope, My engine Just died
and I'm just digging it a
gravel"
FLOCK
Couple of buddies went duck
hunting and each was equip
ped with a thermos. One had
coffee in his and the other had
his filled with Old Typesetter
Zone slug and you're through
for the day..
Bye-um-bye lone duck
flew over and the coffee
drinker missed him entirely
but the guZZler raised his gun
and brought the duck down
with beautiful wing shot.
MY that was good shoot
ingr said the coffee lover
Nothing TO it," said the
boozer, when a whole bunch
come over like that, you're
bound to get one of 'em!"
BRAIN TESTER
r ,ad the following sentence
once through and tell yourself
how many "ITs" are contain
ed therein. (answer is else
whTre in the Columnl.
FEATURE FILMS ARE
THE RESULT OF YEARS
Il. OF SCIENTIFIC RESEARCH
CONFINED WITH THE EX-
PERJENCE OF YEARS"
SUCCESS STORY
Father TO wayward son:
"Why don't you go to work ?
Why, when / was your age I
worked for three bucks
week and in seven years I
owned the entire businessw
Son TO father: Yeah, but
yuh can't get away with any,
thing like that these days =
they got cash registersw
ANSWER
Answer to above brain
tester" is that there are six
"F's" in the sentence. If you
saw four. you're above aver
age. If you saw five, turn up
your nose. And if you spotted
six, you're genuine genius
and too good to be wasting
your time on this sort of thing
HUMNN!
Best way to make friends
with a new doctor is to be pa
tient.
LIVING
It is almost as hard to live
within your income nowadays
as 1t was to live without one
back in the thirties.
LAST WORD
Education today merely de-
velopes memory at the ex-
pense of imagination.