Madison County Democrat. (London, Ohio) 19??-1958, 1957-03-01
A
CENTURY
OF Service To
MADISON COUNTY
Continuously
SINCE 1857
e OUR
"a 4T6SWN
SCIENCE

SCIENCE
The scientists They're al
ways popping up) tell us that
a mans shin-bone is the
strongest part of his anatomy,
that "it can hold up one ton
truck" We disagree with them
in the respect that we think
mans head is the strongest
bone in his body what other
bone can support the weight of
world affairs and the nation
al debt at the same time?
CONFUSED
And then there's the one
about the devil-fish that fell
into the cement mixer just a
crazy mixed-up squid!
OPINION
Many a man gets his just
desserts" when he develops
Indigestion from m e sing
around with an attractive dish.
TWIST
Overheard in a manhole
was this quip. II swore off
gossip for New Years and now
/ haven't any friends to speak
off,
FINANCE
Met man the other day
who went to one of those loan
companies and CONSOLIDATED"
his debts. He said that his pay
ment is now so heavy that he
can't budget.
BUSINESS
A successful butcher is just
guy who never let's his meat
loaf.
POLICE
A good policeman is like re-
ligion-a friend to the & 90 d
people and a terror to the bad.
INNuENDo
It's all in the way you say
IT. Take the woman who wi1is-
pered to another did you
know that Alice's father Is in
an Institution ?" After a couple
of years of scrutinizing Alice
with sympathetic but criti-
cal eye, the lady found out
that Alice's father was a trus-
tee of Washington's famed
Smithsonian Institution.
LIFE
Nowadays when child
spends too much time at his
mothers knee, he's apt to get
a martini spilled in his eyes.
HOLLYWOOD
The Hollywoodenheads are
a strange lot where else can
you get married in the morn
ing and divorced at night?
KID STUFF
We like the one about the
ten-year-old who said, Moth
er, I don't like smart people
they can't talk anything
but SENSE!"
hUH2
Many well-bred girl hasn't
been properly reared.
TEE WEE
Tv has done lot of things
but one of its most outstand-
ing advantages is that it makes
it possible for person to act
ually see static.
WEATHER OR NOT
1857 will be short year, al
right-saw piece in the pa
per the other day which stat
ed, Scientists Find Way To
Cut Fall Quit"
ANSWER
Sergeant Snarljaw was
whipping his boys into shape
with rapid-fire question-and-
answer session What steps
should be taken when land
mine is discovered Pvt.
Pumpernickel then replied in
true military fashion !.
steps in the opposite direc-
tion-on the double!"
IN LAW
If your daughter plans to
marry a man you think is not
of your social level, you can
always get some satisfaction
in knowing that you're going
to be his mother-in-law for a
long, long time.
DID you kNoW7
We discovered the other day
that company out in Califor-
MIA makes an auto battery
that never needs water, is
guaranteed for 10 years, and
costs between $50 and $50. If
this thing is all they say 1t is.
il is the equivalent OF that
much mentioned % e tt c T
mouse trap"
SYMPATHY
Sympathy and compassion
are wonderful attributes, true,
but neither will take the place
of ready cash. A dime in hand
is worth two in the pants-of
the other fellow.
LOVE
There are only two kinds OF
men--those who spend their
time making money and those
who spend their money max
ing time.
LAST WORD
Never argue with a mar
u,bo profitS from DrOmOtine