Madison County Democrat. (London, Ohio) 19??-1958, 1957-05-03
A
CENTURY
OF Service To
MADISON COUNTY
Continuously
SINCE 1857
e OUR
"a foHWN
BoNEHEAD RARRLE

TO call "bonehead babble"
that elusive and humorous
habit some people have in an
swering logical questions in
the Oracle Allen manner. Here
are some prime examples:
OF course, most of you have
heard about the lady who got
up in the middle of the night
when the telephone bell began
ringing. After a sleepy hello"
the voice at the other end
said, Sorry, l had to wake
you up at 3 o'clock in the
morning. To which our little
lady replied, "Oh, that's al
right had to get up to ans
wer the phone anyway"
Another has to do with a
local man who called one of
his co-workers on an intercom
and asked, Who was that
fellow who was in here the
other day who h ad his wife
and five kids with him?" Af-
ter a short silence the CO.
worker said, Nov, / just
can't seem to be able to recall
his name exactly-but it's in
the phone book!"
On trip down south a hus-
band (noting that a car had
followed him for several
miles, asked the little woman,
Honey, is that cruiser fol-
lowing me?" Little woman
peered out the rear window
and announced, Nav, it's a
Chevvy"
A foreign correspondent
travelling in a remote country
over in Asia says that that
country is making every effort
to stamp out illiteracy. Thus,
some governments had signs
printed which cover virtually
every vacant wall. The sign
bigwig says, Don't Wait Any
Longer-Learn To READw
PEOPLE
There are only two kinds of
people - those who have
everything and those who pay
cash!
ECONOMY
Governmental spending in
all categories could be cut to
the bone if we quit paying the
bureaucrats and merely had
them come live with us the
year round matter of fact,
the bureaucrats themselves
would be cut to the bone.
MODERN AGE
Most young husbands find
out that the gal they married
can't cook but she knows
what's cooking. 81
HUMNNl
If you want security and
satisfaction, become a psy-
chiatrist-it's just big bed of
neu-roSes!
VIEWPOINT
Saw in the paper the other
day that Eddie Cantor and his
wife, Ida, received their first
Social Security checks. Can
tor said that 1--WE are delight
ed to receive the money from
our government-not as char
ity, but as an insured right"
This is a fine attitude and it
sounds good. However, Cantor
then explained that he was
giving his check to a boys
camp. Could it be that ne is
giving his Social Security
money away to avoid getting
in a higher tax bracket?
HOLY MATRiMoNY
And like the guy who mar
ried the lady wrestler said
after he came to-"Never
underestimate the power of a
woman"
Split MILK
City couple bought a farm,
moved to the country. In the
barn was a fine milk cow
named Penelope. Penelope
was full of promise and full OF
milk but the unexpected farm
expenses caused the young
couple much concern and they
decided to cut down on every
thing even to milking Pen
elope only when they needed
milk. Of course, the inevitable
happened and Penelope not
only ceased flow but toppled
over dead. This unhappy cir
cumstance led the young
housewife to muse =. this is
the first time that not taking
more resulted in the demise OF
something that couldn't give
enough"
DAFFYNiTioN
A pessimist is a guy who
won't open the door when OPP
portunity knocks because ne
thinks it's the wolf at the
door.
An optimist is a guy who
owns the house this fellow
lives In and has a pet wolf.
LAST WORD
A man around the house is
what every home should be
without except after work.