Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1956-01-22
Alfalfa NotobIes Cheer
Candidate Eric Johnston

ricJohnston
the banquet into a national
political convention.
Resolved" said Senator
1 Monroney, that Eric Johnston,
famous world traveller and presi-
dent Of the Motion Picture AS
ISOLATION of America. is the
unanimous choice of the Alfalfa
Party for President of the United
! States"
Amid the tumult touched of
by Senator Monroney's resolu-
ton. the candidate. Mr.. John
ston, was escorted to the head
table by a delegation that in
cluded former Gov. James F.
/ Byrnes Of South Carolina. for
mer Senator tnow Ambassador
to the United Nations) Henry
Cabot Lodge. jr,: former Speaker
of the House Joseph w. Martin,
jr.. and the former general over
seer Of White House reconstruc-
ton. Gen. Glen Edgerton.
More Farmers" Preferred
II would have greater hope
! for a successful campaign II his
encourage had fewer formers
and more farmers" President
Kaufman remarked soto voce
as Candidate Johnston reached
the microphone and launched
into his acceptance speech.
1T is with deep humility" said
Candidate Johnston. that I ac-
cept the honor and the burden
you have heaped, with a shovel.
upon me.
i have searched my soul and
l say you could not have found
a better man. better fitted for
the mighty task at 1900 Penn
Isylvania avenue.
What other candidate hates
the game of golf. abhors life
upon the farm. and doesn't like
babies, or dogs. either?"
He continued:
You know of my humble be-
ginnings In a mere 50 million
log cabin on the back lot of
Metro oldwyn-Mayer in Culver
City, Calf. You remember my
struggle onward and upward in
the arts. the sciences and in an
elevator that once stuck on the
ninth floor of the National Press
Building"
Glamour in Business
Mr.. johnson promised to bring
the Misses Marilyn Monroe and
Jane Russell into the Internal
Revenue Service. He threatened
actually to put the Business Ad-
visory Committee to work in the
Department Of Commerce.
Now" he said. II come to my
foreign policy and here. gentle
men, promise you some changes
will be made. My own secre-
tary Of State is going to stay
home" Mr., Johnston said. II
hate to admit this, but I intend
to borrow an idea from those
Russians. They've got a vaude-
vile team on the road: soft shoe
dancing and funny sayings.
I'VE haven't seen their like
since Gallagher and Sheen were
outfumbling each other in the
long, long ago.
$50 I'm going to pick a pair.
They'll handle foreign policy"
Candidate Johnston beamed.
They'll get those foreigners so
bewildered and benumbed and
befuddled that we can sweep the
problems of the Near East and
! the Middle East and the Far East
right under the diplomatic rug.
Your action tonight in nomi-
mating me indicates that you
cannot possibly realize how wise
you we're. / shall devote the next
four years to making it irnpos-
sih'e for you to realize it.
More you cannot ask of any
candidate. Less you cannot de-
mand. If this begins to sound
like double talk, I say that I'm
merely getting in practice for
the great days of the presi-
dency."
] New Members Indicted
Alfalfa found time during the
evening to induct eight new
members to bring the club up
to its full strength.
/ They are: Admiral Arleigh
Burke. chief Of naval operations;
r Roy Dunn. president of the
Potomac Electric Power Co;
John j. Hopkins. president OF
General Dynamics; the Rev. C.
Leslie Glenn, rector of st. Johns
Church, Washington; Under
secretary Of State Herbert
Hoover. jr.: Charles P. Nc
cormick. chairman of the board
OF Mccormick g. Co., Baltimore;
Vice President Nixon and Sena-
tor Richard B. Russell of Geor-
gia.
The United States Air Force
Band, its bagpipers and its
Singing Strings" all under the
direction of Col. George S. How
ard chief of bands and music for
the Air Force. furnished music
for the occasion. William F.. Ray
mond sang My Own United
States" and Altalfa's close har-
mony quartet sang traditional
Alfalfa songs
/ Broadcast Music, Inc, ar
ranged the professional enter
tainment which included Miss
Dinah Shore. the Skylarks. and
Mice AHA,s.