Madison County Democrat. (London, Ohio) 19??-1958, 1956-12-21
8 OUR
"a Town
SUDN THOT

NeA s0VVV
sUoN THoT
Some educators tell us that
Johnny can't read but he can
usually recite Come All Ye
Faithful in Latin.
97?7
Have you heard about the
drinking uncle whose wife
went to church and burned a
candle for him at both
ends?
ADVICE
Women who keep their hus-
bands in hot water all the
time are likely to end up with
a hard-boiled egg.
AW NUTS!
An inebriate stopped at a
penny peanut machine and
dropped in what coins he was
carrying and then went in the
bank and got five dollars more
in pennies and was putting
them in the machine as fast
as he could. His pockets bulg-
ed with peanuts and he even
had his h7r full when friend
came up to him and said,
Great balls of fire, man, stop
putting those pennies in there
:. you've got enough peanuts
to last half your life"
"Hunnf" numbled the rum
dumb, 'Duyah want me ia
quit when I'm on a winning
streak?"
FUTURE
We doubt that the meek
will inherit the earth-they
wouldn't dare!
FASHION
The Schwappes man, the
Hathaway man and now the
Van Heusen man (. (. looks like
a fellow has to have an eye
brow on his upper lip or an
obituated orb to be fashion
able these days. Suffice to say
that in the years to come
these fellows may go down in
history along with the Cro-
Magnon man, the Neanderthal
man and the Abominable
Snowman.
HOLY MATRIMoNY
1st Nitwit: How come your
wife divorced you?"
2nd Same: For pursuing
my hobby!"
1st: What hobby?"
2nd: "Blondes!"
RELIGION
In some parts Of deepest
Africa, it is the missionary
who furnishes the cannibal
with his first taste of religion.
UNDER WRAPS
Christmas wrappings come
so high that many man Will
get a present worth less tnan
its container.
VIEWPOINT
A real hometown neWspap-
er tries at all times to improve
business in its town and coun-
ty. A hometown newspaper
realizes that it is the business
men, merchants and nome
owners who pay the local tax
pc for schools and other pub
lie works and, thus, the real
hometown newspaper tries dill
igently to further the ends OF
it's own citizens. A real home
town newspaper puts its peo-
pie AHEAD of profits when
may be realized from promot-
ing out-of-town enterprises by
drawing people AWAY from
its business area.
OUCH!
A man who lives next door
to a nut-house may be on the
border of lunacy! The head
psychiatrist is the guy VINO
occupies the Nut Cracker
Suite.
MARRIAGE
When a bride-to-be is given
q shower it usually means
that some guy got left stand
ing out in the rain. And at the
wedding the best man is the
fellow in the back row with
the whimsical smile on ms
puss.
AuToMATioN
Automation has. at least one
drawback. How in the world
are we going to tell the lit
tie woman we were tiled up
at the office?
HuMNN!
And a philanthropist is just
a person who gives his money
away rather than have his rel
atives fight over it.
oDDiTY
The Canadian dollar is now
worth five cents more than the
American dollar-due, finan-
ciers say, to the fact that
American investment money IS
pouring in there. This is an
other case of mistaken indem-
nifty.
TT 2?
If you say to yourself, this
has never been said before.
then you have said something
a:zI. I.nc not hnaYa CqlH he