Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1956-11-01
EzAzuRz Rn
SUCCESS IS WITHIN YOU
Marriage and U.N.
Have Same Problems

the more communication there
is the more opportunity for the
wild winds to blow themselves
out until finally after the storm
the calm.
4. Remember This, too,
shall pass away" These are per-
hapS the most comforting words
in the English language. In
tragedy, in aff1iction, or even in
that sullen moment when love
seems to have turned to hate,
the knowledge that we live In q
world Of constant movement is
reasSuring. The last storm passed
and so will this one. Tomorrow
we may laugh about 1t.
Friction Isn't Cause
When marriages do 60 on the
rocks, 1t is not because Of acco-
rocks. it is not because of occa-
sional fights and frictions. Some
of the f1ghtingest couples go on
married and in love throughout
their lifetime while many who
did not deign to raise their voices
end up in signing divorce petit
Itions.
The real causes of marriage
crack-up are deep within the
personalities of the partners,
usually failure to reach the full
responsibility of adulthood.
The structure Of marriage
could greatly be strengthened by
a truer understanding Of love
than the childlike concept of
romance with which the movies
and our fiction constantly bonn
bard us. Love Is togetherness
and union, q blending. It is two
people ceasing. in effect, to be
individuals and pouring them
selves one into the other so that
they become one and INSOFAR
able.
So much Of what passes for
love in our age Of CinemaScope
romance is not this at all but
rather the possession of a beau
tiful doll, or the winning of
someone hard to get" or sim
ply bedazzlement by a shapely
figure or big broad shoulders. as
the case may be.
Marriage. if greater numbers
OF us are to find success it It.
must be brought back to focus
A good place to start is ac-
ceptance of the fact that il
doesn't have to be perfect. Child
ish notions that marriage is
going to turn life into a spar
king fairyland are responsible
Tor good many breakups.
Couples wake up to find that
life still has problems, duties,
and responsibilities. If they have
ned to marriage to escape these
realitieS-and enevitably failed
they are likely to flee to d.
vorce in the same futile hope.
Single Lesson
A wise middle-aged counselor
in a family agency in Little
Rock. Ark. said to me, IF ]
could give young couples but a
single lesson I would want It to
be this: That marriage wasn't
made to be one sweet song"
True marriage is a journey
rather than a destination. It is a
hike into maturity. Couples must
learn that every day isn't
Christmas. that joy is worth
working for and waiting for.
that sharing is better than get
ting. And they are happier for
lit.
In our marriage ceremonies we
ask. do you take this woman"
or DO you take this man. 2"
Perhaps we ought to ask, do you
give yourself to this woman" or
this man?" For that is what
marriage really is-a mutual
giving of two people to each
other in order that from both one
single entity-a couple-may
emerge.
This is. in its highest form, a
single personality with male and
female aspects, a personality
which feels pain when either
suffers, joy when either is happy,
which knows no existence apart
and cannot contemplate a return
to singleness except by death
and even that. but q temporary
separation until they meet again.
(From the book: Success is with you;
CopyriRht.. 1855 by Howard Whitman;
Distributed by Doubleday Syndicate).
Tomorrow: Success with children. q