The coastland times. [volume] (Mnateo [i.e. Manteo], N.C.) 1947-1959, 1956-06-08
Wasted Effort

make one happy. Now, when / say
you should seek friends as means
to a fuller, more meaningful life,
l do not mean that you should do
it with a vengeance, as one of
Dale Carnegie's fans did. He had
read the book "How to Make
Friends and Influence People," and
had applied the authors teachings
to an encounter with a business
prospect.
81 did everything in the rule
book" he said. 81 started off by
greeting him warmly, then /
smiled at him and asked him about
himself. / paid very close attention
while he told me. l went out of
my way to agree with his views on
how wonderful he was. He talked
for nearly an hour and when we
finally parted company, I knew
I'd made a friend for life" The
man paused for breath. "But, boy"
he concluded, "What an enemy he
made!"
No, to gain a friend you must
be friend, and this you can only
do by being sincerely interested in
the problems of others. It is as
Thomas Wilson once said, Friend
ship is to be purchased only by
friendship. A man may have
authority over others, but he can
never have their heart but by CIV
ing his own"
Too many men have sought sue
cess to the exclusion of all other
good things, such as health and
leisure and friendships. Some have
sought it in the form of money,
some in power, and some in adj
miration. 1t is obvious that all
these things, when achieved, should
minister to happiness, but if the
road to them has been too demand
ing and has led to the narrowing
of a persons interests and tastes,
the hoped-for-happiness is elusive,
for then he finds that, though he
has succeeded in his ambitions, he
has lost the capacity of enjoying
anything except strenuous COM
petitive activity, and that the lei.
sure which he hoped to find re-
warding and delightful is unsatis-
flying and tedious.
Each of you must search for
your own brand of happiness, for
you are all individuals with vary
ing needs. But each of you will
find, as all the philosophers of the
past have found, that to gain that
all-important possession you must
give Of yourself unstintingly. This,
in turn, will give more meaning to
any of the worldly goods you do
accumulate; at the same time, how
ever, it will lead to the realization
that worldly wealth is of compare
lively small consequence. 1t is what
we are to ourselves that counts in
the long pull. Without self-respect
a man is no more than an auto
maton-or an empty shell. So long
as we contribute to the happiness
or comfort of any human being we
can keep our self-respect, and be
of Importance in the world. Not
our personal enjoyment, nor even
our seeming success in life, but oul
part in Gods plan for others is
the measure of our worth.
AS / mentioned earlier, we have
gone from the oxcart to the horse
and buggy age, to the automobile
age, and finally, to the atomic age
The name given to everyone Of
these phases of history has beer
based on material progress. Think
of the difference that might have
been made in our conception Of
values if we had concurrently
wrought such a change in mans
treatment of his fellow man that
the eras would have progressed
from, say the age of hatred tt
that Of Indifference, then to toler-
ance, to fellowship, and finally t
the ultimate that most all of the
religions of the world hold up as
the ideal, "The Age Of Universal
Love and Understanding" If to.
day we were entering both the
atomic age and that Of love and
understanding, then perhaps we
would ali try to emulate the mar
who made the most friends equal.
fly as much as we now try to copy
those WHO make the most money
We have become 90 accustomed