Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1956-02-27
The COMPLETE BEST SELLER
No Time for Sergeants

there in his barracks all the rest Of my life,
and how he knowed wouldn't like that and
all, and he kept on that way until he made
me feel kind of anxious too after while. But
I found out soon enough there really warnt
that much to it. 1t warnt nothing really but
fitting bunch Of pegs in squares and things
like that. and sitting in chairs that spin you
around and all that kind of thing, so it was
easy as pie, and wouldn't have been nothing
ifn Sergeant King hadn't kept worrying at me
all the time.
One Little Argument
But still done good on it all. had one
little argument with fellow down at the
radio place, and that didn't amount to
nothing really-it didn't bother nobody but
Sergeant King. What happened was, they
set us at table and give us a headset and
piece of paper and this fellow was stand
ing up there talking about how we were
supposed to mark down the dots and dts on
paper, but after they got started couldn't
hear no dots and dts at all over mine and
told the fellow so. But then he got right un-
reasonable; he come bounding over saying,
Don't you know how to put headset on?
You got the thing on backward. How do you
ever expect to hear anything with 1t that
way?'f And he said, real rough Look, put
it ON right. Don't you have good sense?" and
some more stuff like that which didn't ap-
front and said this next one would be trial
run and in minute everybody got to writing
on their papers. but didn't because they
didn't sound like nothing but dots and dts to
me- SO didn't do nothing but just set there,
but then he come bounding back over saying,
You're supposed to mark them down! Cant
$you writer" which made me kind Of ornery
so I said, 81 can write as good as the next
man."
well write them dovn then
But he had made me kind of mad talk
ing about writing, so I said "How can I
write down things like that? Those little dots
and dts don't mean nothing to me-
Look" he said. "It don't matter what
they mean. All you're supposed to do is mark
them in this column If they sound alike. and
in that one II they don't. It don't matter bit
what they mean -.
And I said, well, as far as that goes, 1t
don't make no difference to me neither, but
they still don't sound like nothing but dots
and dts :. p
And he fumed and fused some more
with it, and said, 1T don't make any differ
ence what they sound like to you know
what they mean and they don't sound that
way to me: and they don't sound that way
to the fellows that made them up, and they
don't sound that way to the generals-so
who are you to say they don't sound like any,
thing but lot of dots and dts"
And he kept on that way until got
right tired of it. I got up and told him he
was probably right and that If him and all
the generals said it didn't sound like that TO
them, then just wouldn't bother with it and
let them listen to 1t all day long If they
wanted to, but then he looked at me and
yelled, sit down." which didn't like too
much.
"How's that?" I asked him.
You sit down there and put those head
IN ov.k e.
trouble for anyhow
Il don't want no trouble"
Do Like / Said
And he said well, sit down and take
the test then You do Just what I said and
that's all there is to it."
Well, can write just as good as the
next mar" I said
And he said, well. go on and do 1t then"
and didn't say it so rough this time, but more
like he was asking. so set back down and
listened to the dots and dts and marked
them down like he said. But 1t was like told
him in the first place. they Just sounded like
bunch of dots and dts to me, so I Just
marked them all down in the same column
and left. because really didn't care too much
about it nohow.
So didn't have no trouble with IL really.
only Sergeant King got all upset about 1t
and took 1t mighty hard. But he agreed the
fellow had acted pretty unreasonable; he
said, las a matter Of fact, the most unrea-
sonable thing he did was ever putting the
headset on you so you could hear the things"
But then he took on some more how must
try hard and all like that; he said, 1.-THE rest
OF them wont all be that hard. Will and IL
you do like they tell you. really think we
can swing this thing. You hear what I say
now? Are you listening to me now? Look. I've
got copies OF most Of the tests and we can go
over them here in the barracks before YOU
ever take them. and that way, you ought
TO manage all right. But you've got to try,
WILL You got to do just like they tell YOU"
So did that and got along better on the
rest OF them, just to please Sergeant King
more or less. We took some more and done
right good on them and Sergeant King was
right proud Of 1t too. And one OF them I
done good on, he said he bet nobody had
ever done anything like that as long as the
field had been there. That one made him
the happiest Of all, think. What it was, was
this puzzle made out Of steel about as thin
as your little finger, and the trick was to put
1t back together once the Corporal had took it
apart. and they was going to time us to see
now quick we got 1t done. The Corporal ex-
planned all about it before we started: he took
1t apart and put it back together and showed
us, and said, There amt but one way of doing
1t. so yau have to use your heads" and all
like that and then they passed them out to
us. one each, and one fellow got stopwatch
and the other one said, "All right now: Co."
and the other one mashed the watch and
everybody took to fitting them this way and
that.
So got to fitting mine too, but it didn't
work out at first, so then just reached down
and got right good grip on one of the pieces
and Strengthened it out and slipped back in
side the other one and tied them back up to-
gether, which was right good way of doing
1t because / was the first one finished So
then got up and give 1t to the fellow ready
to leave. but he looked kind of funny and
turned 1t over in his hand, and looked at 1t
some more, and said, What did you do with
this thing?"
II put it back together like you told me-"
said.