The Catholic times. [volume] (Columbus, Ohio) 1951-current, 1956-05-25
Just Among Ourselves
Passing Comment Considered or ineonsidersis

All up and down the whole creation Tor, at all
events the American part of iO there is hustle
and stir. Now is the gay and festive time Of year
in which school. college, and university open
the floodgates of Culture and let out upon the
world great and glowing stream of The Edu'
Gated Hope of the world, and all that. Torch
bearers of high civilization, and such.
There's not so much now of "Wee Kitty Casey
in her graduation Clothes" for the fashion seems
to be a swathing Of The Educated regardless OF
age or sex. in folds of academic gabardlne CAN
caps and gowns to be returned to the Registrars
Office within one hour after the close OF COM
mencement exercses'0 topped with tasseled NOR
tar.board symbol of Learning. Hey, nonny,
nonny!
What shall we get for Smiling Sam Smther'
kns that lanky Senior who has completed twelve
tough years of benchsitting in classroomS
model of dogged perseverance? Will 1t be
watch with sweet tradename like "Huggabe,
for $50 95 plus tax? Will it be pair OF honest
trousers COR as the British have 1t, tro"sefs),
now that Sam has presumably, laid aside the
prison pants of denim with their riyets and
bowed legs? Or might il not be economical in
spirationD an elegant bottle of Spray Net-snce
Sam has such really beautiful hair? We must
send something. Grrrr-aduates!
For rraii Belinda who will march high-heeled
and permanent-waved in the Glory March TO the
strains Of Cigars Po,ap and Circumstance. what
graduation gift shall we secure? Not lace fan
such as her grandmamma had the day she read
the rolled and beribboned Sautatory. Not nice
copy of Lucille or a padded-eatherette volume of
Longfellow's poems, like the one her mamma got
when they finally eaSed her out OF Asops Acad-
emy for Adolescent Females. Not dozen pale
yellow roses to be carried gracefully on the
left arm No: fraI Belinda would not be pleased
with any of these dainty things Something in
the line of steel skis. perhaps five-ounce
boxing gloves would be more suitable Think
not? You don't know Belinda.
We could do with few statistics on gradua-
tons This year how many millions OF young
men will stumble awkwardy up to the stage,
or rickety dais to receive the solemly wOrded,
but somewhat Inaccurate testimonial of their in
tellectual emnence? They will stumble, these
boys; they will walk on themselves; not be-
cause they are shy or embarrassed in any degree
but because they will be denied by the engulfing
academic gown their sacred privilege of sloueh-
ing down the aisle with both hands plunged deep
into trouser.pockets. Naturally this deprivation
will put them off stride,
How many devoted parents, not to mention
uncles auntS and godmothers will get them
selves into sweltering situations sticky seats to
watch Matt or Miilie teeter up for the accoade?
How many hearty sighs will be breathed when
Doctor Whillikins noted Educator with capital
Ed finishes his seventy minute TRADE on the State
of the World and What These Young Graduates
May Be Expected to Do About II? And, other
where's how many dull and disgruntled people
will sit through Professor Whine's dissertation on
Melting Mores in Nuciear Milieu helpless to
catch the words that futter weakly through the
professors uncertain dentures?
How many little brothers will collapse their
folding chairs at a solemn moment during the
Exercises? How many babies will yell their lit
tie heads off in justified protest against this
thing called Graduation? How many iiStlesS
hands viii sound applause for unknown En-
inents that Graduate? How many bitter
hearts will silently resent the bestowa of the
Medal for General Excellence?
All. il is indeed fertile field for the statis-
tcian this graduation business And it is
neglected field. We should like to have some
notion of the number of sufferers who have part
in the annual Exercises. But figures are not fur
nished us. Why is this? The number must run
we'll into the millions.
One item of the statistical list we might be
sure of if we only knew how many graduatons
lnere are. mat u.s. we might know how many
valedictories would express deep thanks to
devoted teachers, who have ever had our true in
terests al heart, and who have worked tireessly
to make us realize the best fruits of modern
schooling The number of such valedctories is,
by fixed and unalterable law,--exactly the
same the number of graduations.
Some lad with a good voice and an assured
manner will, in every instance of masculine val
ediction, express gratitude and appreciation for
all that has been done for him and his classmates,
and will add word of tender grievng at the
prospect of departing permanently from dear old
alma mater And this same lad is, ten to one,
a loafer who seldom cracked book handed
in paper on time, or showed anything but bored
contempt for alma maaer and an all alma matters
fnssy little staff of teachers. This fearful vale
dctoran is by long odds in any amount one
who will presently leave the place with whoops
of JOY, only less delighted TO be out of school
than the school is delighted to see him go.
Well despite the lack of scientifically accurate
figures we can be sure that thousands and thou.
sands of lives will be upset by this years grad
nations BY that same token, we can know that
millions of dollars viii cross the counter in pur
chase of graduation gifts. And we may be assured
that thousands of people who make imitation
parchment or do fancy printing and engraving
or manufacture fine covers for diplomas, sell