Madison County Democrat. (London, Ohio) 19??-1958, 1956-08-14
e OUR
"a fT6W,N
PoLLYTicks

FOllliCS Is lHe lIllIlS IIldl
takes craftsmanship out of
government.
MODERN TIMES
It's getting so that fellow
can't go for a stroll in the
country without running into
an outdoor movie.
WrMMIN
Lots of girls maintain their
respectability simply by avoid
ing an attractive offer.
FACT
Hear no evil, see no evil,
speak no evil and you'll
never be popular.
WELL2
The best things in life are
not free. You have to spend
years finding out what they
are.
STORY
7-year-old Billy Cromwell of
Urbana went out to the local
cemetery with his grandpar-
ents, Judge and Mrs. Marion
b. Owen Inspecting the in
scriptions on the tombstones,
young Billy called out, Grand
ma, what does this one say ?"
The name on the stone was
"Studebaker" and Billy
grandmother so informed him.
Billy, noting the date under
the name, then asked, Whats
this his license number"
Billy is also the grandson of
NO ]. c. Cromwell, Big Plain
Pike. o.
C~h. DON
Wife to bleary-eyed husband:
"And how many holes of golf
did you drink today?"
BASEBALL
Boston's famed Ted Williams
drew a $4,000 fine for splitting
at the fans. This is the first
saliva test ever given base
hall PLAYER.
ADVERTISING
One of the most successful
companies in the u. S. says
that it considers advertising an
investment not an expense.
'27?7
And remember when you
keep your chin up, you are
sticking your neck out.
LONESOME
IF liars never get to Heaven,
God and George Washington
must be powerful lonesome up
there.
VIEWPOINT
The Europeans have a hard
time understanding Americans
and for good reason. Where
else but here do women go all
out to attract a man and then,
when a man makes a pass at
her, slap his face?
ANSWER
Syd Harris of the Chicago
Daily News says he can't wait
for the new movie version of
"The Ten Commandments" to
be released so that when some
body asks him if he has seen
the movie, he can say /. mo,
but I've read the book"
SEASON
This is the time of year when
you can call man "Throckie"
whom, at any other time OF
year. you would call 'Throck-
morton p. Manglevote, III" 1t
is also the time of year when
the candidates let you shake
the hand which will shake you
off after the election.
SUGGESTION
Old lady walked into a il
brary and asked. II want to
get a book about a murder
committed by nice people"
HILLY BILLY
And then there's the one
about the Kaintuckv hill-billv
who went to the doctor and
complained about his insomnia
seems he kept waking up
every few days.
TRAVEL
AS Jones drove out of his
driveway heading West for his
annual vacation. his neighbor
yelled. Don't forget Old
Faithful" To which Jones vel
led back. How can /? She's in
the hack seati"
OVERHEARD
Overheard in a nuandarv
was this: GEORGE let's walk
home. I'm too tired to ride in
taxi with youi"
KID STUFF
Mother of a little boy who
suffered from a severe case of
pants-wetting heard a noise in
the basement and called out.
Are YOU down there weftine
your pants again p To which
question came the answer. No
ma'am, I'm lust reading the
water meter"
FACT
About the hardest work we
can think of is "child's play"
LAST WORD
How in the world did a fool
and his money ever get togeth-
er In the first place?