Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1956-03-15
THE COMPLETE BEST SELLER
No Time for Sergeants


General was outside trying to get Sergeant
King to do things right he was saying, If
you say DO what, General to me one more
time Sergeant And would you mind
getting that stupid look off your face? And
when we get through with this goddamned
ceremony would you mind stepping inside
there too? Because think I'm going to want
you to sign a few papers too. YeSsir, think
I will. Do you hear that, Corporal-as soon
as this is over. you type up few papers
for Sergeant King too, only let's don't use
that title any more-Well just make it Prl-
vate King from here on out"
Anyhow, Ben kept looking this way and
that saying, whats going on out there?
What's the matter?"
"You just watt I said. "The General is
fixing up surprise for you"
"Everybodys outside" Ben said May
be we better get out there Maybe
mo, not yet The General will call us
when he's ready. He said for you to just wait
here"
But it took a little while because at first
General Pollard didn't quite understand what
he was supposed to do, and when the General
said Vernon, would you mind?" he said,
Nov, by God, Jack I'll do lot of things for
you but if you expect me to stand at attention
out here in the woods for couple of pri-
Yates . - but the General said Look, YER
non, know how you feel. God knows, but If
you'll help me out this time and let me get
this over with, someday I'll make it up to
you. really will because that fellow has got
me where he wants me and -"
And they kept talking about it for a while
until General Pollard understood where he was
supposed to stand, and agreed on it, and it
worked out mighty good that way, and looked
mighty good too with them all standing at
attention. And when the General called out,
"All right come on out here and get 1t /" Ben
was so surprised, he didn't know what to do
with himself.
Go ahead Ben I said You're sup
posed to strut up to the General there and he's
going to give you medal"
Il don't believe it, he said. Il -"
Come And Get 1t!
But then the general beloved at him
right loud. Come on out, goddamnitl Come
on out and get it," and you should have seen
the way Ben looked then His eyes kind of
frightened and his face lit up and then he
throWed out his scrawny little old chest and
started strutting. He went down the steps
with me marching next to him, holding his
head straight forward like you are supposed
to, but still darting his eyes this way and that
he was so surprised. 1 walked along with him
across the yard and past the car, going some
thing like drum with my mouth. l said,
"Rat-tat-ta-tat" kind of clicking my TONGUE
SO he would have something to walk in step
with, and he prissed along that way until he
got up to the General and then he stopped
and throWed him right snappy salute and
the General quivered bit and give him one
back. and everybody was standing there at
attention, and it was something to see too
The Corporal held the f1ashlight and the
General read off all the things on the paper
saying how we had pulled each other out of
the burning wreckage of the airplane and how
proud the Air Force was of us, and how we
reflected glory and everything, and then he
got through that and ended UP by pinning
the medals on our chests, and Ben was pretty
SWelled up by the time it was over We shook
hands with everybody and they congratulated
us, and finally the General said, "Well if
that's all you can think of you want from me-
guess that about does it. Hop in the car over
there and the driver will run you out to the
airport where I've got special plane waiting
for you"
well, hit was mighty nice" said "And
we do want you to know how much we appre-
ciate it,"
But he didn't answer, just stood there
minute and then turned away and started for
the house again. But then he seen Sergeant
King kind of standing around over behind the
house where he had been for while. and
SocPPSo anu bC1iOWCu d0 STE YOU ny
God! You're not going to get out of anything
hiding back there. Come on in here and sign
these papers! Because you're going with them
every step of the way, and you just better
thank the Lord Almighty that Private is the
lowest rank can think of at the moment.
So everything worked out pretty good
that way and when I heered Sergeant King
was going to get to go along with us, felt
pretty good about things. Me and Ben went
out and sat in the car. And after a little bit,
Sergeant King come out and got in the car
too. and the driver started off; and I felt so
lively and everything. I reached over and
popped Ben on the back and said "See there,
Ben, you got medal after ALL and amt even
dead besides And you were right about the
Air Force too because the medals :. >.
Air Force?" the driver turned around
and said. you fellows are in the Infantry
now"
"Infanrty!" Ben said.
"That's right, buddie. AS of now. you
fellows are transferred. Your new uniforms
are in the back and as soon as we get to the
airport, you'll have to change. Yessir, you're
in the Infantry now. You've had it, buddie."
And then Ben looked at me with this big
smile spreading across his whole face, and he
reached up and touched the medal hanging
off his chest, and said "Wel I'll be DANCED
we made the Infantry after ALL" and seemed
mighty happy about it. And Sergeant King
was too, think: he set there staring out the
window for the longest sort of time, not say
ing word, like he couldn't believe it almost.
And when Ben said "Yessir, we're just like
the Three Musqueteers; I'll bet we'll stay in
the same outfits and everything all the time
we're in the Infantry" Sergeant King got so
excited over it, he set there and quivered. just
like the General had done, all the way to the
airport.