Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1956-03-02
THE COMPLETE BEST SELLER
No Time for Sergeants

already We opened the bottles and Sergeant
King said he would pour it and poured me
glass about full, and said, Here you go, Will.
You're the first. Drink all you can hold.
Wen watch out for you. and if there's any
trouble, you won't have a thing to worry
about"
So drunk it and they all watched, and
then poured them each one too. and we got
to drinking and everybody got to having a.
lot more fun. ordered more beer and we
drunk that along with the other. Everybody
got real lively and most polite. grabbing my
glasssand filling it up every time I finished
saying, Drink up, Will. This is your farewell
party, and do mean farewell"
II didn't seem fair for me to drink most
of the whisky that way, but they seemed to
enjoy doing it, so I didn't say nothing about
it. We got to talking about different kinds
of drinks and little PJ. said something about
how he liked wine SO went out and got
couple of bottles of that and another bottle
of whisky, and when I got back everybody got
to having big time. Sergeant King fixed
special drink for me; he poured some wine
and whisky and beer all in glass, and it
didn't taste so good, but they kept saying,
How was it? How do you feel?" so I said,
cts mighty good" and then they started to
fix me another one and I drank that one
too.
Some Fancy Drinking
So we set and drank for quite while
and then Sergeant King tried to mix another
drink for me. only this time he couldn't hit
the glass and poured stuff all over the table;
and then Chris took it and tried putting the
glass on top of the bottle and then turning
the bottle upside down. and then little PJ.
tried it, and before it was over, they had
spilled most of the bottle. So then Sergeant
King said Cant yall think of nothing else
chat about drinking in general, and it was
real interesting. Poettie tried to tell about
some drink he knowed about, but you couldn't
make much sense out of it because, even
though ne was talking right hard, there
warnt no sound coming out: so I told them
about a drink that this uncle of mine used
to fix up with gin and whisky and beer and
how he always liked a little bit of kerosene
in it for flavor, and they thought that
sounded mighty good. So went out and got
bucket and a little kerosene from a filling
station. and mixed it all up together with the
gin and everything, and they seemed to like
it right WELL They said my uncle sho knew
how to fix drink all right, and told them
that Warnt nothing to some of them I've seen
him fix, and after a while things got real
sociable
And then some fellow from the Infantry
come in and one Of them got to talking with
Chris and pulled chair up and drank little
with us. He said he was stationed somewhere
around there and that the place he was
stationed was about the worse place in the
United States. Then Chris said it warnt no
worse than the place where we was. he. would
bet, and the other fellow heehawed and said
that where the Air Force was stationed. it
warnt rough at ALL and they talked while
about it.
Chris said, Walter Winchell called it
the dirtiest flthiest place in the United
States" and the other fellow said that warnt
nothing, that Walter Winchell said the same
thing about his place.
Then P. J leaned over and said yeah,
but yall don't have to pull all the details we
Then the Infantry fellow said, "Details?
Don't make me laugh. That field is just like
heaven compared to where we are stationed"
And that seemed like a mighty nice thing
to say, so I said, We'll, we sho appreciate
you saying So"
And he said. "Yall don't have it rough at
all. You have it mighty easy and just don't
know it,"
So thanked him again because it looked
like he was going out of his way to say nice
things, but then Chris cut in saying, What
do you mean we don't have it rough?"
You got it easy You got it easier than
the Navy"
That's mighty nice of you to say So"
said
Look, you don't know what rough is"
Chris said you couldn't take day of it
where we are"
The fellow heehawed and said I'VE got
1t rougher than any base in the country
They drill us fifteen miles a day
They drill us twenty" Chris said
You don't know what hard drilling is.
You boys in the Air Force have got it made.
In the Infantry, we never get it easy"
And Then 1t Happens
And then Chris said "Well, look, if you
think so much of the Infantry, why don't you
just shove on off and quit drinking our
whisky" which kind of surprised me, as it
warnt the right thing to say at all.
But then the fellow reached over and
got the bottle and hit Chris in the head with
1t. which surprised me too because he had
been talking so nice just few minutes be-
fore Sol stood up and tried to tell him he
shouldn't do that but then he tried to hit me
with the bottle too so had to pop him one
And then heered this below behind me and
turned around to see Sergeant King standing
up on the table with his hair all messed up
and his eyes Withholding. waving a bottle
around and shouting like he had gone crazy
or something And then he give another yelp
and went sailing through the air like he was
flying and caught one fellow around the
neck and they went over table together,
and then the whole place was fighting.
bopped one or two more. and set back down,
and about that time little P. j. climbed up
on the table looking wild too and tried to
give below himself, only it come out kind of
weak, and then he went sailing through the
air at something or other but missed it and
hit right on his stomach. And then seen
somebody. pick him up and he went sailing
back across the other way. lit cigarette
and smoked it and watched Sergeant King
running up and down the bar yelping at the
top OF his voice. and then I spotted Chris over
rassling with some fellow on the other side
The only one that warnt in it was Polettie-
he was setting there still thinking he was
talking but without no sound coming out
Little P. J. went sailing past again. he hit
and bounced and skidded, and then this one
big fellow grabbed him on one arm and an
other grabbed him on the other arm, and