The Catholic times. [volume] (Columbus, Ohio) 1951-current, 1956-08-24

set to enjoy the spectacle of National Convention was
disposed equipped for hours of undemandng enjoyment
with that modern Yogi philosophy OF which
the cardinal commandment is Relax He had easy chair and
picture Fourteen brands of approved cigarettes Gall the
best and each brand superior all the others were arayed
tastefuy within reach cebox filled with the seventy
kinds of superaye beer available The children
deprived of their usual Tv programmes abroad seeking
advertisement Mrs John Dorayme unauned political orator
far the house. John had the place to
himself. i
Here you would say was man marked placid enjoyment
Here citizen well circumstanced for the pleasing surge
patriotic sentiments which rousing partisan
speech endless series of speeches. must engende The spec
tacle of John Dorayme loling comfortably in his armchair
shoes off, feet elevated belt eased with cold bottle in hand
and smoking three cigarettes at is spectacle calculated
to charm the male) heart And would
dorse approval of the situation with herer agreement
than John Dorayme himself He was all for it.
Wise men tell us that indulgence pleasures leg
pleasures likely have unpleasant results persisted
in such indulgence well induce abnormaliy of outlook
and conduct The thing manifest of in the
alcoholic pleasure Yet John Dorayme the hero Of this
little story prove that convention oratory be
Intoxicating and involve heavier hangover than teasing
liquid however potent.
John D. sat before set night He heard
speeches speeches He impressed again and again.
with the greatness of nation and felt the more I'M
presse greatness of the States considered severs He sat
silent alarmed he heard instance after instance of the in
competence inhumanity and daboca malice of the Oppo
ton Party eaed inspired by the ability the purity
of purpose the for All The People, exhibited by Our
Party Above all John Dorayme impressed by ndspen
sable leadership Of this quality the
Opposition had ALL but Our Party had Leadership in
gob Leadership in lavish abundance Leadership to Spare
Leadership to heard message about
Leadership the thousandh time he felt that burning
of it wouldn't be bad idea.
Then the spirit of the whole exciting entered
into John Dorayme fell complete accord with the
swing sentences He identified himself with speaker
after speaker rising to heights of joy in every phase OF self
audaon sinking deeps of in each indictment OF
the Opposition He staggered to bed at last the surf OF
pounded his continued in his dreams John
Doayme had all unnowing contracted yruent case of Ma
tional Convenonits
In the morning John came breakfast table with
stride He gasseyed in appearance reoute in
Rapping sharply upon plate with spoon he
startled family addressing the universe in that
somewhat and fully tone which is assumed by all
male speakers at National Conventions inability
achieve this tone which makes women speakers
National Conventions striving to be orotund they become merely
shrill
"Ladeez and genmun" shouted John Dorayme my Feloe
Americans Delegates and members of great and glorious
Party my privilege high honuh to nerduce
this article inseparaby associated with the
history of great naonan object whose golden glow
greeted the Founding Fathers they foundered Plymouth
graced the table of the humble
and furnished forth the smpuous fare of the rchan
which, the bounty of benign nature and fostered
the unremting toll the assduous husbandman lent its
rable form to the simple requirements of BENJAMIN Franklin
the proud representatives of foreign
tyranny their naughty and outraged their
delicate appetes with dish of Hasty Pudding object
which lends lush opulence to great Middle West and oea
titles serried growth the fields of every section Of
country object that gives essential support to the
Industry renueTS poSslDle
enghtenng article that gladdens the soul
Kentucky dser and makes profitable the brainsearng
efforts of gagriters-I to object that
commands veneraton, whe appetes enlvens our
system coursng ebood and exercises
our iaws-an article which, above others, among its
sparkling that glorious quality of Leadership which,
grain for grain puts ahead anything in its class and
sets commandngy above the pabulum served by the
snde and snvelng Opposition Paryan article which, in its
pleasing of crisp and crunchy flakes is before
You, Ladeez and genmun: give you CORN FLAkESt &
wild burst of applause and parade of the family
about dnngroom the Doraymes settled down breakfast
may stay in include the faithful