Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1955-08-02

Porenthood Editor.
piled. But have you been a
parent? Don't forget a hid
needs that. too"
This found a common pat
tern throughout the country.
Children need pals, certainly
Chats why they have play
mates, but children also need a
mother and father who are not
afraid to be parents.
At the Family Service Organi-
cation of Louisville, KY, Director
Esther Taylor commented, "One
of our greatest problems today
is to get children to accept love
and authority from the same
source" Because parents have
been piled with the notion that
they had to be "buddies," and
because authority" has been as
naughty a word as discipline"
in the lexicon of some of our
latter-day experts. we have a
generation Of children who have
been largely deprived of parental
leadership and strength.
Child Tyrants Created
We have produced a good
many wishy-washy parents and
an OUTSIDE crop of child tyrants.
A therapist at the Child Psy-
chiatric Clinic of the Evanston
(Ill.) Hospital reported, I'VE
have quite a problem with par
ents who are too long suffering.
They let the child get so bad that
he is really unlikeable. We have
to help them to be more strict,
reasonably so, that is-to be
more like parents"
A case worker at the Washing
ton Institute of Mental Hygiene
added. Some parents treat the
child as though he were the au-
thority in the home. They react
to his every within, soon giving
the child the idea that he is q
dictator"
Child dictatorship is just about
as bad as another kind. Our
juvenile court judges and our
youth bureaus have seen the
odious results of it. They have
seen parents reduced to flaccid
ineffectiveness. In Detroit Juve-
nile Court, Judge Nathan Kauf-
man declared:
ut is shocking to see parents
surrender to their own children.
But that is what many Of them
do. They give up. I've had
parents whose youngsters IA and
IS years old go out on drinking
parties in the woods until 2 and
3 in the morning and the parents
come in and say, We can't do a
thing about it. We just can't
handle them"
Here, You Handle Them"
Judge Kaufman added, THAT
Is what happens when the child
becomes boss of the home: Once
the child is boss. the home is
lost"
Sergt. George Simmons, Of the
Police Youth Bureau in Ann Ar
Dor, Mich, reported, I'VE have
parents come here and push
their youngsters through the
door and say. Here, you handle
them We can't do anything with
them" To this Sergt. Simmons
reaction is. "They have had 10
or Is years to civilize their chill
dren and they have failed. Now
they expect me to do it in 10 or
Is minutes"
I've found little respect among
today's psychiatrists and guild
ance personnel for the parent
who allows his children to walk
over him. To summarize the re-
actions have found: "A parent
who lets his child make a fool
Of him is a fool"
But there is more to the story
This is no mere matter Of res
cuing parents who have begged
down in their own ineptitude
1t is a matter of rescuing chill
dren. Wishy- washy parents de-
prive children of one of their
prime developmental needs. They
need the vitamin Of parental au-
thority as much as any vitamin
in their diets. And today's new
trend in child-care Is to see that
they get it.
Boss But Not Bossy
This is not to say that the
Authoritarian" parent has
come back into vogue; far from
it. Authoritarianism is the abuse
OF authority. The parent who
uses authority properly does so
with love, understanding, and
fair play In the well-run fam
fly the parent can be boss with
out being bossy.
Children feel safer when
their parents have strength and
authority" declared Director
Elizabeth Porter of the Family
Service Society of New Orleans.
"Our cases constantly show us
that the child is disappointed
when his parents show a lack
of authority. His need for pa
rental leadership is shown in
the way the child himself in
vests his parents with authority