Evening star., 1955-10-09
Americos Famous Best Seller GIFT FROM TIE. SEA
Anne Lindbergh Examines
The Problems OF Middle Age
By ANNE MORROW LINDBERcH

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common language. and the acceptance Of
lack of language. too: . knowledge Of
likes and dislikes Of habits and reactions,
both physical and mental. 1t Is o web OF
instincts and intuitions, and known and
unknown exchanges. The web OF mar
riage Is made by propinquity, In the day
to-day living side by side, looking out
ward and working outward IN the same
direction. It Is woven In space and In
time Of the substance Of life itself.
But the bond-the bond Of romantic
love Is something else. It has so little
to do with propinquity or habit or space
or time or life itself. It leaps across all
OF. them, like a rainbow--or glance. It
is the bond OF romantic love which
fastens the douhle-sunrise shell. only one
bond, one hinge. And II that fragile link
Is snapped in the storm, what viii hold
the halves to each other? In the oyster
stage of marriage. romantic love is only
one Of the many bonds that make UP the
intricate and enduring web that two
people have built together
! am very fond Of the oyster shell. It
is humble and awkward and ugly. II is
slate-colored and unsymmetrical. Its
form is not primarily beautiful but func-
tional / make fun Of its knobbiness.
Sometimes I resent Its burdens and ex-
crescences. But Its tireless adaptability
and tenacity draw my astonished adj
miration and sometimes even my tears.
And 1t Is comfortable in its familiarity.
its homeliness. like old garden gloves
which have moulded themselves perfectly
to the shape Of the hand. do not like to
put 1t down. win not want to leave It.
But is 1t the permanent symbol Of mar
riage? Should it--any more than the
double-sunrise shell-last forever? The
tide Of life recedes. The house, with its
bulging sleeping porches and sheds.
begins little BY little to empty. The chill
dren go away to school and then to mar
riage and lives Of their own. Most peo-
pie by middle age have attained, or
ceased TO struggle to attain. their place
in the world. That terrific tenacity to
life. to place. to people. to material sur
roundings and accommodations 1t as
necessary as it was when one was strug-
Cling for ones security or the security OF
ones children? Many Of the physical
struggles have ceased, due either to sue
cess or to failure. Does the shell need
to be so welded to Its rock2 Married
couples are apt to find themselves in
middle age. high and dry In an outmoded
shell, in fortress which has outlived
its function. What is one to do-die OF
atrophy in an outstripped forTn2 Or move
on TO another form. other experiences?
DERHAPS. someone will suggest, this
: is the moment to 60 back to the simple
self-enclosed world Of the sunrise shell?
Alone at last again over the muflns and
the marmaladei No. one cannot 20 back
to that tightly closed world One has
grown too big. too many szlded, for that
rigidIy symmetrical shell. lam not sure
that one has not grown too big for any
shell at all.
Perhaps middle age is. or should be.
period Of shedding shells; the shell Of
ambition. the shell Of material aecumii-
lations and possessions. the shell of the
ego Perhaps one can Ashed at this stage
ih life as one sheds in beach-living: ones