Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1955-08-04

articles by Howord Whitmoa. prom
inent writer on social problems.
boys in his crowd. For a time
he came home about midnight.
But after q while he began stay
Ing out until 1880 or / o'clock.
When eventually he didn't drift
in until 2 o'clock one Sunday
morning his father decided it
was time for a serious chat.
81 don't want to be the first
one to break it up and go home.
II don't want to seem like a
child" Arthur candidly ex-
planned.
A long discussion bore out that
each member Of Arthur's crowd
felt the same way. The increas-
ing lateness of the hour stemmed
from each boys natural desire to
prove that he was not a child
any more but quite man. Thus
rs the weeks went by there was
virtually a contest to top one
another in staying out late.
Arthur's father got in touch
with the fathers of the other
boys and all agreed that 1880
would be the deadline. The next
Saturday night when the boys
met, each one understood that
there would be a good. full eve
ming of fun--but not an en-
durance contest. Since 1890
was the deadline for all of them,
none need vie any more to prove
his manliness.
Seemed Relieved
i ARTHUR actually seemed re-
lieved by the arrangement" his
father reported. The boys re-
lief is quiet understandable. He
no longer had to run the gaunt-
let between his parents disap-
proval and the need to prove
his manliness to his friends.
Now the case of Carol, age
IS. When she first was permitted
TO 60 out with boys to school
dances and to friends parties,
her mother thought she was
helping the child by taking the
attitude. "I1l leave. it up to your
good Judgment. Carol. You come
In when you think best"
1t wasn't long before the plan
failed and Carols mother had to
set specific coming-home time
for each event. The failure
wasn't Carols fault. Since the
decision had been left up to her,
the boy she was with kept prod
ding her to stay out another half
hour, and another, and another.
She was forced into the dilemma
Of being a mama's girl on the
one hand or failing her mothers
trust on the other.
This made her very uncomfort-
able about going out and she.
too, was greatly relieved when
her mother gave her q set time
to come home-not an ABSOLUTELY
rigid time but a reasonable time,
give or take half an hour.
They Liked II
Experienced family counselors
repeatedly find that this is how
youngsters react If the arrange
ment Is explained to them in a
friendly, reasonable way. Direc-
tor Clarence Prefer of the Fam
lily Service Society of Metropoli-
tan Detroit. reported: I'VE find
that 1t is easier on the child If
the coming home time is set. It
is also a protection for the young
girl. Rather than face challenges
or arguments, she can simply
tell her boy friend that she is
required to be home at II O'Clock
or midnight, as the case may
be-"
Also, the boy friend is relieved
Of the burden Of proving what
q bigshot he is by keeping the
girl out until all hours.
Mr.. Prefer told Of a group of
teen-agers graduating from high
school who. according to local
custom. wanted to stay up until
dawn on graduation night. A
group Of parents said "Okay,
well stay up all night with you. "
Youngsters and chaperones went
10 q dance, then a country club,
then q hayride and on through
the night. One of the mothers
who went along reported after
ward: THE kids were simply
trapped in their own wish. They
didn't have any fun at all after
midnight. They were dead tired"
II So perhaps youngsters, like
adults, do like to stay out redic-
filousiy late once in a while, but
when they do they soon discov-
Er-again like adults-that it's
not all it's cracked up to be.
Most counselors agree that
coming home times should be
flexible. that as one Of them put