The Catholic times. [volume] (Columbus, Ohio) 1951-current, 1955-03-25

ladies in waiting, their gentlewomen their pages.
The poor commoner lucky to have two good
hands to do his bidding and lucky to be permitted
to keep his head in place.
See now how times have changed! The modern
educationst par excellence that is to say the ad-
vertiser has taught us all to recognize our truly
royal prer0gatives For day after day, by news
print radio and teleyision = not to mention the
public blboards that do much to make the
landscape pleasant, the advertiser says to each
of down to the last and least See your grocer;
visit your dentists consult your doctor; ask your
lawyer and endlessy.
What monarch was furnished as we modern
commoners with personally controlled nay per.
s0nally ot0ned Servors? In counting those bless
ings which, in our improved day have taken the
place of sheep in somnifaeent exercises, do not
omit to number all the experts and specialists that
belong to you butchers, bakers candlestick makers
doctors, lawyers, Indian chiefs, couturers, mners
realtors, carpenters, plumbers, postmen, milkmen,
and newsboys. They all yours. The adman says
so. And he is your adman never forget that.
We all have retinues, embarrassingy numerous
And we own the properties which these servants of
ours kindly manage for us. Nor are we limited to
one apiece in each order of men or things No we
are directed to one of several by the urgency Of
advertising. Visit your favorite drugstore cries
the deep-Voiced TV artist Your faDor1te, mind you,
not just any one of the dozen so in your posses
sion.
Are YOU asked TO see your automobile dealer?
No, indeed. You have so many that such general
direction would be meaningless. No you must see
your Ford dealer, your Dodge dealer, or (oh, joy
unspeakabe!) your Lincoln dealer Just in that one
department of dealers, you probably have thirty or
forty trained and triggerprompt servants waiting to
do their stuff al your behest
The old time nobility exacted service, but we
cannot think that il always a service willingly
rendered We, the modern nobility are sure that
servants actually rant to serve us They are so
eager to have us see them and order them to show
their bag of tricks that they even reward others
for having call on them. "Tefl him that Groucho
sent you" the ad-man imporeS just so Groucho
won't miss getting credtmark for your call
H.. ,..-.-a
Now right here we pause to find little fault
in the ad-mans approach. He is so genial so full
of hearty interest in u.s. smooth and oily in his
solicitation of our trade, that hesitate to point
out defect flaw in his masterly call But honesty
is to be considered. Therefore, let US have al it,
The adman has set MS up in such place of prom
inence and power, he so politely and 0bsequously
begs patronage, that we find shocking his really
crude direction to tell somebody that we have been
you" Sent us, indeed Are people of our position
to submit to the ndignty of being sent? Are we
the mighty suddenly 10 find ourselves in the posi-
ton of scullerymad who is despatched to the
market for sugar or soap or coffee? What sort of
talk is this?
Yes the oily lads have come a cropper in this
unfortunate phrase about being sent. They have
slipped in their grease They have pn-pricked
their smooth balloon They have put sand in
their own super-duper lotion. They have instilled
garlic into their own sweet deodorant They have
needed their own nonpareil beer Is the king to
tell his serVitor twhoSe person and property belong
to him) that somebody has presumed to send the
royal parsonage? This, at smallest account is lese-
majesty
The young lad who struggles through first year
Latin is inevitably confronted with the phrase re-
pet1tio est mater Studtorunt and so learns (or is
tod) that going over and over lesson ardenty
reviewing to-day what mastered yesterday, is
the one way to possess knowledge and have il
at command Surely, the admen exempfy the
thing for us. Agaia and again, in the self.same
gaudy words they drive their lessons home; over
and over they repeat and still repeat the words
meant to burn into very brains the name of
the commodity they advertise.
tN
With pictures yet TV enables the advertiser to
appeal TO eve we'll to earA He is the old audio
NAohdFdluct Ol lup IdIk lsoHg ago. an lce-DOA was
only an cebox, as good cigar was smoke. To-
day, an cebox is complex and extremely intricate
element in the modern home 1t freezes for you
1t makes cubes circles, it defroSts itself il pours
water at you through the door; il lines up eggs; it
mollifeS butter; il swings its food out for inspection
and selection; ii has lines an unsuSpected excel
lencel IT appears in variety of colorS instead of
holding to its ancient appearance of something bor
rowed from the undertaken
And what a variety of these instruments there is
TO see! The ad.man takes care that all A
TV fan who likes statistics has figured - using up
two pencils in the process that every eight hours
cumulative not uninterrupted = that way madness
liesl Of televiewing, means solid half-hour of
looking into open refrigeraors. Life has few more
futile pastimes than that One might as we'll watch
the brewers pour his endless beer
We need to recall our kingly state when we look
at the picture.ads 1t soothes the spirit to remem.
Der that il lis our dealer whose items Of dealing are
pictured tirelesSly and tringy. Let that
thought sustain us Let il console us too when We
distressed by the brusk direction to say thai
sent We will not say that we we're sent
We shall say that We blown into the dealers
place by the torrid wind of the ad-mans bombsstit
and ridiculous talk.