Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1955-09-29
Bill Collecting
Was PerilOus
Back in 1850

luSty ZeSt TO II lldl coiIieS
through clearly in reading the
SENTINEL of that period.
- Bill collecting, for example,
When as now was the subject of
serious thought and some grim
humor But whereas nowadays
a poor credit rating acts to bring
payment from all but the most
hardened debt-dogre, in those
days bill collecting was a mat
ter of footWork and peril.
Like most early newspapers,
the SENTINEL lived in large
measure on its subscriptions.
When a considerable number of
these remained unpaid for any
considerable length of time, the
editor would call in profession
al bill collector, offer him GER
tain percentage of all sums col
lected and send him out on the
road with a list of arrears sub
ScriberS.
The following appeared in the
SENTINEL of Aug. II, 1859 as
the alleged report of one of these
bill collectors:
"Sir: have just returned from
my collection tour and proceed
to furnish you with an account
of my labors.
you gave me a list of 1T ow-
ing subscribers and l have called
on 104 of them and have the
honor of paying you $3121a being
the amount to which you are en-
titled. Here are some typical re-
sponSes-
mo. 1. Is minister. He says
in the first place he never got
one-half of the numbers, and in
the next place, your poker's col
umn was too scurrilouS. He can't
think of subscribing to a paper
that adVertises horse races and
gander pullings. Besides, he
knows from the tone of your edi-
torials that you drink and paying
you would only be the means to
your ending your days in ken
mel. He wonders at your impu-
dence in sending him a bill after
publishing the account of the
great prize fight.
mo. 2. Is in Jail for debt He
has not seen a half dollar for
one year. Says he would pay with
the utmost cheerfulness, if only
he had the money, but he had
to borrow a shirt to put on last
Sunday. Admires your paper
wonderfully and hopes that if
you send him any more papers
4 you will see that the postage is
W paid.
mo. 3. Is young doctor. Says
your paper is beneath the notice
of gentleman. Wouldn't give a
................ for carload of them.
Says you inserted an article re-
fleeing on his profession. Cussed
your bill and says you may col
lect it the best way you can.
mo. 4. Is an old maid. Says
you are always taking a fling at
single ladies of an uncertain age.
Sent all the papers she had back
month ago and says now she
don't owe you a thing.
mo. 5. Is a gambler Says he
got completely cleaned out at the
races last week. Couldn't accom-
modate his grandmother with
half a dime if she was starving.
Like your paper tolerably-would
like it better if you published
more races and would occasional
ly give an account of a chicken
fight. He is after a rich young
greenhorn-will pay your bill out
of the pluckingS.
mo. 6. Is an old drunkard.
l. Hasn't got anything and never
pexpects to have. Gathered up all
the papers he had and sold them
to the doggery keeper to wrap
groceries in for half a pint of
rum. Wishes you would send
him another pile of papers.
mo. Z. Is politician. Meant to
have told you a year ago to stop
his paper when he was defeated
for dogcatcher Tells you to do
so now, and thinks you are get
ting off very cheaply in not los
ing any more by him. May sub
scribe again if he seeks the dog
catcher's job at the polls next
year. Believes you to be a rascal
in the meantime and is too honor
able to have anything to do with
you as it might compromise him
and injure his prospects.
mo. 8. Is a magistrate. Swore
he never owed you a cent, and
told me l was a low knave for
trying to swindle him in such a
barefaced manner. Advised me
to make tracks or he would get
out a warrant against me as a
common cheat and have me sent
q to prison. Took his advice.
"Please accept my resignation
from your list of agents (bill col
lectors). All kinds of abuse ]