The Catholic times. [volume] (Columbus, Ohio) 1951-current, 1955-05-06
Just Among Ourselves
Passing Comment Considered or Ireonsidsrst.

to Washington DC, to find out if there was still
place for him on the newspapers there. Used to
be that every edition If Post or Star had
two remarks by Farmer Corntosse. And of these
at least one week quoted in the Spice of Life
column of the old Literary Digest.
Philosophy was what they used to call the say
ings of Farmer Corntossle. He was something OF
an old Greek sage dressed in overalls But he usual
ly had a straight to ask the proper questions
so that he might drawl oIt the proper philosophic
answers In this he unlike Abe Martin and
Aunt Het He didn't just up and make his state
ment And he didn't deal much with local persons
or events around his imaginary farm H. spoke
OF men and matters in universal terms as befits
philosopher.
We asked the Farmer if he thought he had
good chance of getting back his old place the
Washington papers He said no. he didn't He said
editors never really had much use for his sayings
beyond the fact that each Of these gems of thought
could be used to fill small vacancy in an inside
corner of the paper. NOWADAYS he said there are
no vacent corners. They are filled with weather re-
ports from Yucca Flats.
Still he had hopes of something turning up
Washington is city of constant and strange opp0r
tunties He thought he might catch on with the
big politicians and supply them with bits of wisdom
for their speeches. Plenty of vacant there
he said. And the common voters seem to like an
occasional remark that sounds like real thinking,
even when ii isn't The politicians like it too; spices
up speech, and never leads to congressional
investigation.
We asked Farmer Corntossle whether the mad
gadgery Of modern livpa he's caused him io change
any of his old ways Of thinking He said il hasn't.
Man, he said, remains the sarne nueer and twisted
creature he has always been. Modern living merely
gives him and different opportunities of
showing that fact.
Nearly everybody (Sad Farmer Corntossle) has
elements in him Of arrogance and cowsrdice, he
is part Hitler and part Caspar Mquetoast In the
old days, he didn't have many opportunities of play
ing dictator; he had 10 play the milder game, and
usually polite. at least psssably so. Chances
If bumped into you on the street he'd
ask your pardon, even if he bigger than you.
But nowadays one of these little fellows with
no more Spunk apparently than jar OF dry milk
will get behind the wheel OF car and, all at once
other driver Swerve near him. or make quick left
turn in front of him and you'll hear loud remarks that
would peel the bark off hemock tree. The man
who is mere pipsqueak in the parlor is likely to
be riproarer on the highway. Seems that the
motorcar gives him feeling of power and super
iority. Often, though, I've wondered whether the
secret of his highway arrogance isn't the assurance
his car gives him of quick getaway.
II pedestrian on the sidewalk were as cocky
and domneering as the driver of car he would
soon be cut down TO size But the motorist knows
that he usually dash out of unpleasant sit
uation; he also knows that the pedestrians he baws
at cannot reach him, and that other drivers cannot
well leave their cars TO mix things with him. He
feels secure. and therefore he lets his cowardice
die down and his arrogance flare up
You notice tie same thing in the normally mild
man who is suddenly harsh and bossy when he
gets the telephone. Face 10 face with another in
conversation he is usually at least toerable in
duct, but put mile of telephone wire be-
tween him and the other lad and the least thing
will make him loud and abusive, The spirit of
cowardice is in charge when he can how big
the other man is, and notice his attitude; the spirit
of dicatorial arrogance takes when he is alone
and dominates the immediate scene,
Let the telephone. HC get a wrong number.
Does II to him that this is his own fault?
Does he think al that he has perhaps dialed
the wrong number? Does he realize that his impat-
lent attack has probably diaed second third,
fourth number without letting the dial come all
the way back? Not al all; not by any chance; not
ever. What! He make error? He dial wrongly or
dial the wrong number? Impossibel
He assumes with absolute land leather-headed)
conviction that If mistake has been made he has
had nothing to do with it, mistake is the fault of
the telephone mechanism, or of the operator, Of
the person who answers when the wrong number Is
called Indeed, this innocent person is quite gen
orally supposed to be the villain Of the piece. The
telephone-Iitler greets this strangers voice with
high mpatience. He blames this stranger for getting
in the way. He demands mperiously who is
this?"'
In passing let ii be known that the best
answer to that harsh question of Who Is
this?" is quiet sweet voiced easy drswl,
Whom do you wish, pieasets Tne result, in moSt
eases, will be startled gruni at the other end of
the wire, and an impatient banging of the phone
into its place.
Surely, the testy fellow who says, who is ths?"
over the telephone would not act in face to
face encounter. We're he to pluck strangers
sleeve the street, mistaking him for acquant-
ance. he would ask the strangers pardon and try
to explain his own conduct He certainly would not
seowl at the stranger and demand, who you?'
He would moi ask angry lin effecD What bus
mess have you being somebody else when want
John Jones?'
Yes concluded Farmer Corntossle), good many
Of US imagine that we polite when we only
11., -. Ah.t.