The Phoenix Jewish news., 1955-12-16
By Alfred Segal
(Seven Arts Feature Syndicate)

I'VE FELT A bit bothered late
ly, though the matter really may
not be worth mentioning to you.
The problem: How may a Jew
get up socially in the non-Jewish
world in which there are so many
swell clubs?
Several weeks ago / attended a
luncheon of the American Jewish
Committee in our town >and the
purpose of the meeting seemed to
revolve around that question. The
idea of the main speaker seemed
to be that if Jews were allowed
to ascend socially the right
country clubs, etc. they would
have a better chance to make the
contacts that would help them get
some of the big executive jobs IN
leading industries.
So | was thinking about that the
other day: How may l myself ele-
vate my social status toward be-
coming a big shot in business!
How can 1 persuade a non-JeWlSn
country club to take me and my
wife in? In such a club l might
establish contacts by which, fin
ally, to ascend maybe to the vice
presidency of the International
Isotope Corp. ($100 million capi-
taD, and wouldn't that be really
something? 1t should bring me
more money, to say nothing OF
prestige: Segal, isotope tycoon!
Segal, who speaks for all isotopes!
THAT'S THE happy dream I've
entertained ever since that lunch
con, though 1 well know it may
be a long time before, socially and
in business way, I can get that
far up. In the meantime l must
suffer Illustrations as a person ca
ger to get up in the world +.
to be somebody to stand high
among top-notchers, as they are
called, in society to be a big
guy among the isotopes.
All that stems from being Jew
ish. 1 just can't get places, as
they tell me. 1 must hope only
for lesser business stick to
being a columnist all the rest of
my days, perhaps. What else? Yet
must appreciate the American
Jewish Committee for thinking
about me with the hope of setting
me up socially in the right, high
places. (The Committee has put
out brochure about that. Title:
"Social Discrimination" ----
VuEVr WAC doayo -, c11oh COR
ry meditations the other day,
when my poor oppressed mind
happened to think of Chanukah,
which was so close at hand, and,
on account of Chanukah, remem-
bered Mr.. Maccabaeus, whose
first name is Judas 5. one of
the Maccabee family, in fact {.
their leader in the great military
victory by which we come to
Chanukah.
Yes, remembered him so well
and all of a sudden =.
what you know Mr.. Macca-
baeus is at my side at my
typewriter. I don't know just how
to explain this phenomenon, ex-
cept to say that it's probably psy-
Geological.
There stood Mr.. MaccabaeuS,
and I saying to him, friendly-like:
Hello, there, old-fellow, and what
brings you here?"
1T WAS ALL so thoughtful of
him, as it turned out. He had OBJ
served my mind being so troubled
to raise myself up toward high
society and thereby to attain a
place in big industry. IT thank you
for your interest in me, Mr.. Mac
cabaeus," l said.
That's all right, Segal', he re-
piled, "but I'm here to tell you
what big damnfool you are, and
I'm ashamed of you."
"But, Mr.. Maccabaeus, can you
blame me for wanting to get up
there socially even as high
as the Minehaha Country Club?
BY being up there socially 1 may
be able to get into iSotopeS and