Evening star., 1955-06-29
THE BASEBALL
BEAT
By BURTON HAWKINS

WELL, NOW I'LL TELL va what we're gonna do. Step
right here neghbor and lend an ear The ball club
amt going hot Kinda needs TRANSMISSION So we've
called the Red Cross to give the needle tomorrow
Kinda pep em up bit with different sort of show.
say you've the Senators, mister, and you amt
impressed? Well now reckon you amt alone there. But
there's the Red Sox playing em chum and locke what they
got They got Ted Williams and if you amt feastng your
eyes the hitter of time when you gaze in his direction
old buddy, WE'LL dip in vat of oh, boy, what beer
Yes, sir, mangles those Washington pitchers That
amt nothing unusual, you say huh? Well now, come to
think of it you have point, pardner But amt nobody
around who makes em feel quite as shaky as old Ted
So you lost your appetite for baseball eh? Well we amt
relying strictly baseball there early the
United States Army Band will be trompng the field Man,
if they don't send tnge up and down your spine barng
it out real loud and prettynke, and marching along SO
proper, better get check-up.
THEN WE GOT AN throwing contest. No, you
don't get to throw no at the Senator's son. Several
people asked that The players toss em back and forth
at each other all the time backing up see? And they keep
going until all the eggs busted Guarantee you'll get
belly-augh out of it.
McDermot and Spec Shea, sing Heart" Yet sir,
right from Broadway Well, right from the New York
musical Damn Yankees" Yeah, the song, that is.
You already heard Eddie Fisher sing it, you say? Well,
this McDerot he's good friend Of Eddies and he gives
Maury good tips putting Don't be knocking
McDermott singer fellow a-ta $s >sse
AND WE GOT SOMETHING called the phantom inaed.
Guys through ined practice only there amt ball.
Senators look better those rules you say
Well now let's be charitable kddo. Arch McDonald-he
be emceeingsays this phantom bit will give charge
Then got wheebarrow gminick. Bndfold the
ball players You say the Senators play ball like they're
blndfoldede Harumph, ka kaf, don't bother me, boy.
Well anyway they spin em around at second base and
they're supposed find their to the plate Lotsa laughs
What else? Well there's those Koshare Indians. Well,
no. they Indians actually They're Boy Scouts, but
these kids don't specialize rubbing sticks together They're
La Junta Coo and they're nifty doing those tribal
dances that they teach it to the Indians No. amt kidding
NO. NO. THAT AMT the climax. Hang around, cause
you amt heard nothing After the game just in the
Senators blow another something to get rid of
that taste Amt other than the old charmer
himself, in person, Arthur Godfrey.
Nope, ukelele. He'll be horse. real locker,
that Paomino stallion Arthur makes him do all sorts of
things and doggoned how. Doesn't his
hands the rens at all Well, not you notice.:
Nice guy, that Godfrey. He's flying in from New York
to help out
OKAY, OKAY. so YOU'VE seen eggs tossed you've seen
that wheebarrow business you caught those Indian dancers
Short you amt interested in infeld practice with
out ball. you the Army Band opening day and you
watch Godfrey all the time Okay okay We still got
something for you.
We got snazzy Ford convertible black and yellow We
got boat with outboard motor We got televon set.
We got portable radio All got to do is be lucky and
hold the right ticket stub.
Yeah, the odds against va, winning of those
prizes But when it's all over, mister, you're gonna
feel mighty good You're gonna walk outa Griffith Stadium
feeling right with the world because the Red Cross
lift All right step right up and put the lne neighbor
va gotta have heart