Evening star., 1954-10-10
Problems Todoy
Bride-to-Be
Con'tAfford
BiqWeddine:
Rv. Mufiel Nissen

LILY SVVOldH
By Muriel Nissen
DEAR MISS NISSEN: Is 1t
permissible for a bride-to-be
to tell her fiance she would
like q big wedding. when her
parents can't afford one? I've
always wanted q big church
wedding and I'm hoping my
fiance will agree to this since
my parents cannot afford 1t.
e. n. s.
ANSW Err: Traditionally,
nothing Is demanded Of the
bridegroom until after the we'd
ding, so let's continue to give
the young man that much con-
sideration. Stick to the type
wedding that comes within the
budget Of your folks. A simple
wedding without running into
debt is far preferable to an
elaborate one that bankrupts
the family.
DEAR MISS NISSEN: I have
been married two years and
already am having mother-in-
law trouble. We live with my
mother, and my mother-i1-
law doesn't care to visit us
here. She even made me go to
her house to get my birthday
present, so last week when her
birthday came around, didn't
go over. When we finally did go
to visit, she seemed quite hurt
and said had kept her SON
from seeing her on her birth
day. My husband didn't say o
word. and I claim he can't love
me or he wouldn't let his
mother criticize me.
BETTY c.
ANSWER: This Is the sort
Of unjustified criticism that
makes trouble between young
brides and their in-laws. A lit
tie consideration for an older
woman, especially If she hap
pens to be your husbands
mother. certainly should be
granted.
Judging from your general
attitude of childish pouting, I
gather your home isn't too
pleasant a place to visit. This
could easily account for your
mother-in-law's disinclination
to call there. If you didn't want
to visit her on her birthday,
certainly you could have let
your husband go. If he wakes
up to face the realization that
you are a petty, selfish, willful
young lady. he quite possibly
may stop loving you-but 1t
will be your fault, not his
mothers.
Dear Miss Nissen: My en-
gagement was recently broken
because my fiance and !
couldn't agree on religious
matters. I am now expecting
his child and would like to put
1t out for adoption? Could you
advise how this is done?
G. r.
Answer: Since you both con-
sidered yourselves sufficiently
adult to have a baby, why not
be equally mature in facing
your problems? Ducking out
from all responsibility is q
pretty poor solution. If your
only disagreement was over re-
ligion, see your respective pas
tors and straighten out the
tangle instead OF complicating
it by giving up your child. Re-
ligious differences can be set
tied with a little compromise
on one part or the other; don't
be stubborn about it but be
willing to concede something
for the welfare Of your child.
Dear Miss Nissen: I am 20
and in love with a man a little
younger. My mother doesn't
like him, but won't say why.
He is hard-working, very good
to me and as anxious for a
home and family as I am.
However. I hate to marry q
man my folks don't like.
T. M.
Answer: Unless your mother
comes UP with a legitimate OBJ
lection to the man, ignore her
dislike and marry him anyway.
You've stayed home so long
that Nom probably has gotten
to depend on you. Try your
best to win her over, and enlist
the cooperation of your beau
in being as nice to her as pos
sible.
Write Muriel Nissen for free
ledfet D-4, Father and NeU-
lytDeds." In all cases, be sure to
inclose a stamped. selt-ad-
dressed envelope and send re-
guest to her, care of the Wom-
ans Department, The Euening
Star, Washington 4, D. c.
Released by Bell Syndicate, Inc.)