Madison County Democrat. (London, Ohio) 19??-1958, 1953-07-21
8 OUR
"a TOWN

ca ICWN
HoWZAT AGiN?
Local restaurant is currently
displaying sign over its coun-
ter which says-"Half-Ripe
Cantaloup-3Oc."r eve pre-
sumo that the really ripe var
iety would cost somewhat
more)
SAGA
A young mother was COM
planning to her mother about
feeding the baby in the middle
of the night. George will
never get up and / have to do
it. Who got up in the middle
of the night and gave the baby
his bottle when you were
young?"
Mother heaved a happy sigh
and replied, We'll, my dear,
you see when I was your age,
we didn't have bottles!"
MODERN
And then there's the one
about the fellow who wore
polaroid glasses to bed so he
could understand his 3-dimen-
sional dreams!
But of course this zany can
be overshadowed by the wom-
an who complained to the doc
tor of her husbands dillusionS.
Doctor, Elmer thinks he's
refrigerator" she said.
Doc said, "Oh well, that's
harmless enough"
But, DOCTOR" replied the
woman, "He sleeps with his
mouth open and the little light
keeps me awake!"
HilLY BILLY
And" asked one hill-billy
of the other hill-billy, what
would you do if your whiskers
caught fire."
"Jes set right here and pray
for rain," answered the other
law one. 4
PoME
The role of public speaker,
Was never. really mine.
Until I moved to the country
And got a party line!
FoRsooTH
A little bit of love during
times of trial and strain is
worth heck of a lot more
than great alteration during
times of ease.
HEYwooD
Old Haywood Snugg, the
Tommy Manville of Buzzard's
Glory, says that girls bathing
suit this Summer are almost
more than some women can
bare. "And don't you fergit it"
says Haywood, We'll reared
young ladies shouldn't wear
slacks!"
SOME PSALM
Science is my shepherd, I
shall not want. It maketh me
to lie down in an in-a-door
bed that will fold away In the
daytime, creating the illusion
that we have a large apart
ment.
It sweepeth my wife's floors,
washeth her dishes, ordereth
her groceries, maintaineth 70
degrees F inside the house, As
degrees inside the iceless ice
box, and 212 degrees on top of
the gas stove.
1t furnisheth her with radio
music, salad recipes and the
Presidents message while she
watcheth the scientific things
hum and buzz. 1t resoreth her
schoolgirl complication, wav-
eth her hair. and maketh her
seem altogether youthful.
Meanwhile it leadeth me in
to strange paths of ethical
conduct, where, under the
guise of service" I can con-
tinue to fleece my fellowman.
-. and make money, which
I need on the first of the
month to keep up the bluff
that we are prosperous.
Yea, tho walk thru the
valley of the shadow of death,
will fear no evil. for I will
have my tonsils, adenoids and
vermiform appendix removed
for Science is with me
its test tube and laboratory
findings they comfort me. It
prepareth a well-filled table
before me in the presence of
those who are less fortunate
in the scramble for place and
power; it anointeth my head
with Stay-comb: my cup rum
meth over.
Surely goodness and mercy
shall follow me all the days of
my life and / shall dwell /. /.
on earth as long as l possibly
can. and come to the end with
an overwhelming sense of the
emptiness of life. and I shall