Madison County Democrat. (London, Ohio) 19??-1958, 1953-12-18
e OUR
"a TOWN
CASE

CASE
Recent story told US by one
who knows what he's talking
about reveals that a teen-age
basketball player in a" nearby
town was arrested for break
ing and entering the high
school gym. Investigation
showed that the boy had fore
ed a lock to the gymnasium
and police found him shooting
baskets in the middle of the
night. Now, it comes out that
the boys chief interest in life
at this point is basketball. The
youngster was duly shown
that breaking into the gym is
lust not cricket. Latest reports
saw that he has now been CIV
en- a key and can shoot bas-
kets anytime he likes. Well
wager that a lot of coaches
would furnish keys should
they have players as ambitious
as this lad! incidentally, he's
one of the best players on the
school team.
HUMMN!
A bartender is a psychia-
trist with an apron on. A lady
bartender is more approprl-
ately called a "bar-tenderly."
CARD
Unique Christmas card from
Auditor of State, Ted Brown.
Made like an election certltI-
cate it has coupons to be clip
ped and everything. Each di-
vidend coupon contains
verse concerning the time OF
wear the coupon falls due.
Very clever, Mr.. Auditor!
REDS
Old Haywood Snugg, the
Commissar of Warmers Corn
ers says that Adam and Eve
organized the first communist
cell. after ALL" Haywood ex-
plains, "they had no clothes
and no home. They had no
food but apples and they
thought they were in Para
dise!"
Heywood's red-hot mamma,
Big Nancy, was heard to say,
as she dropped another potato
in the vichy souisse, THAT
Haywood has got to go-who
else but him would try to sign
UP Mccarthy"
KID STUFF
"And what did mothers lit
tie man learn in school to-
day." asked the proud mama
of little Willie.
And little Willie coyly re-
piled, 'T learned three other
boys not to call me mothers
little man"
TOAST
Here's one for that II o'clock
toast on New Years Eve -
MAY all your troubles in the
coming year be as short lived
as your resolutions"
NOISE
Is there anything in the
world as NOISY" as a woman
suffering in silence?
SHOCK
Understatement of the week
belongs to an Akron woman
who was taken to the hospital
to be x-rayed for suspected
tumor. Turned out that she
was merely with child. Said
she, "T'his is the incest sur
prise I ever had in my life!"
QUESTION
Reader wrote in the other
day and asked if the editor is
the guy who puts things in the
paper. Answer is no-the edi-
tor is the guy who keeps
things out!
ITEM
See where a wife brought
suit against her husband who
is nudist. Suit?
OUCH!
Worst "joke" of the week is
this. Visitor: my but these
are fine Strawberries. Do you
use fertilizer on them?"
Heavens no, lady, just
cream and sugar!"
SUGGESTION
Housewives are always on
the lookout for a money-saV-
ing main dish We suggest that
the best dish of this kind is a
China piggy bank.
TEE-vEE
Herb Shriner is mighty
funny fellow. Several weeks
age he was interviewing a
lady on his program and he
asked her if she had any chill
dren. She replied that she had
three sets of twins.
"And what does your hus-
band do Herb asked.
"Oh. he's a specialist" the
woman said.
7 know that" quipped Herb,
"but what does he do for a
living?"
LAST WORD
Don't let death take your
G~IsI1.t