Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1953-07-12
On the Air
Questions, but Not Enough Answers
Magazine Poses Some Problems by Asking Teevsion Editors
To Rate All of Those Video Comedians
9 TeIevision Editors

thing, or a manifestation Of
something, but he is not a
comedian. Eddie Cantor has
to be ruled out, too. He de-
serves the last place honor for
all Of those years spent leering
at dancing girls while hood
winking the customers into
thinking he is the most whole
some little, old Buster Brown
on the air. But he has been
funny, especially in that Make
the Taxi bit.
1t is an undeniable triumph
for George Jessel. He wins
last place In a walk on this
-" ballot. He still can be listed as
No. "a, too, even though the
effervescent Mr.. Parks has
been removed from the ballot.
He can be replaced here by
George Burns and Gracieg Al
len. who would take first place
If Jack Benny could vote for
Pageant. Burns and Allen were
overlooked by the Pageant edi-
tors.
Now for No. 80, which is no
problem, either. Mr.. Cantor,
take a bow. On to No. 80 and
look who's standing there with
the cigar in his face-Ken
Murray. Up one more notch
to No. 81 and Bob Hopes name
fairly leaps out of the page.
Pinkie's No. 80
The temptation to put Ernie
Kovacs in the No. 80 spot is
strong, but his is a strange
case. So is that of Bob and
Ray. These are lads who have
their ups and downs. They
either rate first place or 99th,
but they can't have first be-
cause Durante has that locked.
Neither can be 99th, either,
since that has been reserved on
this departments ballot for
Pinkie Lee, not listed by the
Pageant editors. Despite the
slips on Bert Parks and Burns
and Allen, these editors obvi-
ouSly know a comedian when
they see one. (Mr. Lee won his
honor. incidently, by a slight
margin over Jerry Lester, No.
SO, also unlisted by the editors
with short memories.)
Still stalled on No. 30, aren't
we? We're not getting any
younger. either, and the Pag-
cant people want this expert
opinion by no later than July
26.
Maybe we could reverse the
process again and try on No. 2.
Jack Benny is a good man for
the spot. When he's right, he's
as right as you can be. This
diSposes Of one more name.
but it leads only to another i'm
passe.
There's a Solution
The horrible thought is
dawning that this ballot never
can be filled out. Between
Benny, No. 2. and Hope, No.
81, lies a vast area of same
ness. where no comic is very
much funnier than the others
and some are sometimes worse
than the others. And none 10
better than the material writ
ten for him by some sad men
whose names flash quickly by
your eye at the end Of the show
and are Immediately forgotten.
There is one simple solution
to this rating of the television
comics. It comes out like this:
NO. Jimmy Durante.
No. Jack Benny.
No. 3-Wally Cox.
No. 17-Fred Allen, Lucille
Ball, Tallulah Bankhead, Ray
Bolger. Burns and Allen, Red
Buttons, Sid Caesar. Imogene
Coca. Arthur Godfrey, Grou-
cho Marx, Donald O'Connor.
Danny Thomas. Ed Wynn,
Alan Young.
No. 28-Abbott and Costello,
Eddie Albert, Steve Allen, Mil
ton Berle, Ben Blue, Dennis
Day, Jackie Gleason, Martin
and Lewis. Garry Moore, Herb
Shriner, Red Shelton.
No. 30-Bob and Ray, Ernie
KovacS.
No. Blob Hope.
No. 32-Ken MURRAY.