The Key West citizen. [volume] (Key West, Fla.) 1879-current, 1953-02-19
HAL
BOYLE
SAYS

WEST R--Monologue by man in
a Pullman club car:
"Yes, sir, the trouble with this
world is that they give man a
dream-and then they set out to
Shatter it.
Take the matter of retirement.
For rs years they've been saying
a fellow ought to plan his life so
he could quit work at a reasonable
age and take it easy the rest of
his days.
why, fellow who expected to
60 on working after IS was not
only regarded as soulless grub
ber-he was downright unpatriotic,
and keeping some young man from
getting ahead in the world.
Remember the annuity ads?
They showed hale, outdoorsy
looking guy holding up raw fish
he'd just drug out of a lake. Every
body who had a job was supposed
to envy him. He had been a real
wise guy. He had put enough
acorns away every month so he
could retire while he still had his
health and spend his time loafing
and annoying the fish.
81 am one of these wise guys,
too. / figure it careful. I have
three plans.
II can quit at IS, and the wife
and me can build shack at the
edge of the city dump and get by
on meal day-plus what we can
Scrounge.
"Or ! can 60 On until go, and
quit then with enough to rent a
small apartment and eat twice a
day. That's not too bad. A lot Of
people today are just digging their
grave with. their teeth today-they
eat too much.
''If | hold out until SIS, me and
the wife can take small place in
Florida, eat three timees day
and have enough left to buy bot.
tie of sunburn lotion once month.
but what happens? The big
propaganda now IS going the other
way. Everybody is pointing out
how dangerous it is for a man to
retire. Some doctors say man is
likely to die if he throws up his
job, because he doesn't know what
to do with himself, he feels useless
and unhappy, and his resistance
to The common cold is lowered.
81 say that's a lot of nogwash.
You know who / think is behind
it? Wives. Yes, sir. wives.
Got a friend who viii retire
next year. He says he will have
enough then to buy racehorse,
and he will let this horse earn him
a living. His wife is against the
whole project. You can't blame her
too much. No middle-aged woman
wants to feel her groceries are
dependent upon a strange horse
she has never even met anu has
no confidence in.
Naturally she wants my friend
to 60 on working. But take my
wife. She don't like any of my
three retirement programs-55, 90,
or IS.
"She won't even let me tall
about them. Says ii gives her a
nervous headache. Says she doesn't
want me around the place all day,
wearing cut the furniture and pok.
ing my nose into her kitchen.
when ask her. What do you
want me to do--woTk until drop
dead?", she says Well, I'd rather
have you underground than under
foot. ;"
Yes, Sir. It's plot. that's what
il is--all this talk against retiring.
It's a plot among wives.
They're afraid If their husbands
retire they'll find out woman's big.
gest secret--how easy they've had
II at home all the years their old
man was out in the world wrest.
ling for the bacon,
And to keep that secret they're
willing to LET US stay prisoners oil
the alarm clock forever Not me
I'm quitting al IS. and II Il kills
me at least | won't have to listen
to my wife say. I told you 50.
How can / loSe?"