Evening star., 1953-12-22
Problems Todoy
|GiirI Admits
Unfortunate
Disposition
BY Muriel Nissen

DEAR MISS NISSEN:
Through the years I have said
and done countless small, mean,
crafty things which have made
those I love miSerably unhappy.
I have made million resolves to
curb my hasty tongue and the
hate that for the moment is in
my heart. I never seem to hurt
any but those near me. can be
most kind to neighbors and
friends. The person who bears
the brunt of this quirk of mine is
my mother-in-law. She is a fine
woman, whom I sincerely admire.
and she has tried to treat me as
a daughter. Yet. whenever we're
together. I can't resist making
cutting remarks to her. / realize,
too, that while it's the mother
in-law who gets most of the
blame for family troubles, &C
tually it's the daughter-in-law
who is responsible.
I really hate to be like this;
how can I change? D. l..
ANSWER: Confession is good
for the soul, and perhaps you
have benefited by unburdening
yourself. even on paper. The
most difficult thing for many
people to control is their tongues.
Hard work doesn't bother them:
long hours Of study are taken in
stride. their bodies are disci-
plined by athletics, yet the wag-
ging tongue goes on without
their controlling it. And nothing
is so irrevocable as words. A poet
Of the last century tells us,
Never shall thy spoken word be
again unsaid. unheard." These
words that are "razors to my
wounded heart" wound those
who utter them as we'll as the
persons to whom they are ad-
dressed. You are proving that
now. in the budding realization
that you are becoming the victim
Of your own malevolence.
For reform you need a COM
plete realization of the harm you
are doing to others and, by re-
flection, to yourself, and a fixed
determination to mend your
ways. You need humbling, since
the prime cause of an attitude
such as yours is arrogance. Get
down on your knees. preferably
in church. go often enough, and
stay long enough, in concen-
trated prayer, to win resistance
over a contemplate fault. Since
your mother-in-law has borne
the brunt Of most Of your malice.
let her receive the first fruits Of
your reformation. Bite your
tongue before you utter another
unkind word.
DEAR MISS NISSEN: We live
in the country. Since my hus-
band is truck driver and away
at work most of the time. the
children and l rarely see him.
I am hearing very disquieting
rumors about how he spends his
time. WENDY nj.
ANSWER: Since your llveli-
hood doesn't depend on the farm,
couldn't you move into town so
your husband could have more
time with you and the children?
1t would really be the best way
to preserve your marriage. Don't
put much stock in idle gossip.
There are more rroublemakers in
this world than you realize.
DEAR MISS NISSEN: am 19
and very fond of a young man of
20. I met him recently at q
party. At first I didn't like him
and wasn't too friendly. Now I
know do like him and want to
get better acquainted.
ANNABELLE.
ANSWER: After 4 wretched
beginning, you'll have a hard
time convincing the boy you
even have manners. If YOU don't
like some one, you shouldn't be
quite so obvious about it. More
graciousneSs in the future may
improve your chances with the
present, or any other young
man.
Write Muriel NiSSen for free
leafet D-18, Making CONFER
SGtion." In all cases, be sure
to incloSe q stamped, SELF
addressed envelope and send
request to her, in care OF the
WomGn's Department, The
EreninO Star. Washington 4.
D. g.