The Key West citizen. [volume] (Key West, Fla.) 1879-current, 1953-02-06
HAL
BOYLE
SAYS

is no adventure in everyday life?
The mere act of shaking hands
with stranger is pioneering
social venture into the dark I'M
known.
To the Romans the handshake
was merely form of guarantee
between two men that at the mo-
ment of meeting neither planned
to hack each other to death. AS
long as their hands were linked
neither could draw his sword.
The handshake today is no in
surance against fatality. 1t does
protect you from stabbing = but
may result in your being talked to
death.
In the modern world the hand
shake may lead to anything-from
a fresh romance to court sum-
mons, from new job to the pur-
chase of swimming pool for your
living room.
You put out your paw--and mys-
terry begins. Anything can happen
to you from a handshake, particul-
arly at cocktail party, and at
such affairs the wise man keeps a
drink in both hands, so he won't
feel tempted to risk rafting the
dice of destiny. lie you see anyone
you really like. you can always
shake hands with him later.
There are certain types of hand
shakes and handshakers, however,
that it seems impossible to avoid
even in well spent life. Perhaps
you have met the following:
"a. The snob - You aren't
aware he has you by the hand at
all, for he is measuring you with
eyes that say: "Who are you? How
much money do you have? win it
help my social standing to know
your"
(2). The Mangler - he likes to
hear bones snap - other peoples
bones. Fortunately, this type is now
! almost extinct except in barrooms.
60. The feminine fencers' greet
ing - Two cordial lady enemies
touch gloved fingers like boxers
coming out for the last round-and
then start throwing verbal upper
cuts.
az. The pumper-This CHEEKY
boy pumps your hand up and down
so heartily that you feel guilty
because you can't act like well
and reward him by having water
run out your ears.
(5). The Where Have You'll Been
An-My-Life? Girl - she lets go
your hand reluctantly, as if you
were pulling her heart out by the
roots. It's only an act, of course,
but the least you can do is mail
her some fingernail clippings so
she'll have some kind of souvenir
of the big moment you gave her.
ca. The Wholesome Young Co
getter-Tiis handshake comes from
salesman's manual. He gives you
a firm, fair grip, counts to 10 81
llently as he looks you straight in
the eye before asking. .What are
your hobbies?" Warning: Run
Don't walk-from this eager beav-
err
(s). The clammy clutcher-He
puts what feels like soggy tomato
in your right palm, then wraps his
wet moss other paw around the
back of your hand. Every time you
try to pull away. his soft trap pulls
you gently back as he dreamily
tells you his life's woes.
~. The frigid rigid digit--This
sanitary old lady puts out frozen
series of icicles and jerks them
back fast before the dirty old
germs on your hand can make up
their mind to join the nice clean
germs on her hand. You have the
eerie feeling you have stroked q
Siberian werewolf's fangs.
Some people feel we ought to.
give up handshaking altogether and
do like the Eskimos. The Eskimos
greet each other by rubbing noses.
Now there's a custom that could
lead to some really interesting adj
yav,furaaf