The Key West citizen. [volume] (Key West, Fla.) 1879-current, 1953-02-11
HAL
BOYLE
SAYS


Cafe Society? How does one get
ahead in it?
The current vice trial of So
called Cafe Society plavboy has
aroused fresh interest in this mys-
FERROUS social order. 1t sounds so
Cutlery and glamorous. compared
to the stuffy, snooty old 1900 of
the past, whose members now are
extinct or forgotten.
Some Broadwayites saw there is
no such thing as Cafe Society. They
regard 1t as a pleasant legend
dreamed up to entertain the folk
in the hinterland.
Generally, however. Cafe Society
can be said to consist of the people
who regularly patronize a number
of celebrated mathematician wat
ering troughs. These plush-lined
ZOOS differ basically from the old
fashioned corner saloon only in
the fact they provide no free lunch
and, have replaced their swinging
doors with velvet rope or a gilded
Turnkey.
They belong to the old 5000 you
had to observe a certain code of
behavior. You had to have morals
as well as manners. In Cafe Society
the only prevailing rules are those
of the late MARQUIS of Queens
berry.
To rise quickly in this neon-lit
circle you should have a clean
shirt, big name, and a pocket
full of money. If you have enough
money and spend it freely, the
name-fame and clean shirt re-
quirements will be readily waived.
Some beginners have the idea
that their standing in cafe society
is determined by the number of
headwaiters they know by their
first names. That is wrong. Your
rating is fixed by how many head
walters know your name.
The surest way to become a
man of distinction with head
waiter is to slip him S. bill and
tell him who you are. Do this a
few times and the memory of
George Washington may slip his
mind, but he will never forget you.
Conversation is highly valued in
Cafe Society. You are supposed to
be in ''the big know" You have to
be able now and then to toss out
a crumb of inside transformation
about a person or event of i'm
portance the day before it appears
in the gossip columns.
You have to study your talk
with big names, whether you really
know them or not. No longer can
you get by with things like, "A
taxi driver said funny thing to
me the other day
There is only one other rule in
Cafe Society conversation. Who
ever is at your table at the mo-
ment is a great guy-and every
body who isn't is bum. This
isn't all matter of polite eti-
quette. 1t is based on the fact that
if your back stab the people at
your table they may all get up
and walk away and leave you to
pay the check.
You know you are a real fixture
in Cafe Society when people start
dropping by and sitting at your
table instead of you having to go
to theirs. You are now a big wheel.
But Cafe Society is an escalator
of people going down as well as
up.
How do you know when you're
through? You know it when you
go to their favorite gilded den at
the usual hour and find the head
waiter has seated someone new in
your very own seat at your very
own table in the corner reserved
for the trite elite.
This is the most crushing dis
aster that can happen in Cafe So
ciety. You reel out of the place
a broken man, knowing you no
longer belong to the inner circle.
There is nobody in the world left
for you to associate with-except