Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1953-12-30
Problems Today
Wife Resents
MoneyGifts
From In-LoWs
By MurieI Nissen

DEAR MISS NISSEN: MY PROB
lem is an in-law one-but with a
difference. Van and I have been
married year. and his people
are just wonderful to us. They
live quite a distance away, and
we visit them for a weekend
about cnce a month. On every
visit his mother corners Van
to discuss business. then slips
him some money. OF course. this
isn't supposed to be a secret from
me: I think it's just her way OF
being tactful. However. ] resent
this money business, since Van
makes a good salary and we do
not need financial assistance. I
prefer to be independent. Do you
think I'm being foolish, or should
]. continue to object to my hus-
bands taking money from his
mother? IRENE v.
ANSWER: Your reaction isn't
exactly foolish. Irene, but it is
squeamish. Doesn't it seem unfair
to resent something as innocuous
as a mothers help to her son.
especially when there is abso-
lutely nothing else in the in-law
relationship that disturbs you?
Independence is wonderful
quality, but when it must be
exercised at the expense OF an
others feelings, it loses much OF
its merit. Certainly, the whole
matter isn't worth arguments
between you and Van. II you
cannot discuss it without acrl-
mony, it would be far better to
have him take the money. PARK
1t safely in a bank for emergency
use. and forget about it. Perhaps
the day may come when Vans
mother will need it herself; APP
parently she's the type who pre-
fers giving to saving, and
rainy-day fund could come in
mighty handy in case of illness
or financial setback.
Your desire to stand on your
own is most commendable. but
don't get arrogant about it.
Comes a time when it's good to
have someone to fall back on. In
the meanwhile, handle this f.
nancial angle intelligently Don't
make a row over it; have Van
explain to his mother, tactfully,
that he doesn't need the money.
But if it's obvious that giving it
is a pleasure to her, accept the
kindness as it's intended, with
graciousnesS.
DEAR MISS NISSEN: I'm a
high-school junior in love with
q boy of 10, who is in service.
My mother knows we've been
going steady, but doesn't realize
that we are engaged. We expect
to wait two years before we
marry. How shall I tell her?
M. S.
WEIR: Your mother
should have been kept informed
of the progressive romance.
Since she knows you are going
steady, the news that you're
serious shouldn't be too much Of
q surprise, and, as she likes the
boy, she probably won't be dis
pleased. The important thing is
not to keep the engagement a
secret any longer.
DEAR MISS NISSEN: I re-
Gently met and fell in love with
a girl of 81, who is married. She
claims she doesn't love her hus-
band, that she married him just
for home. She wants to divorce
him and marry me, yet she ap-
parently hesitates to break the
news to him. Whenever sug-
gest it, she finds an excuse.
TED r.
ANSWER: Don't let the girl
make a fool of you, Ted. She's
giving you an old-fashioned run
around. Naturally she wants to
keep the security she has, but
she also likes the excitement of a
hideaway love affair. There's no
honesty in her. and the sooner
you realize it the better.
Write Muriel NiSSen for free
Le1fet DIS, "Firm Friends"
In all cases, be sure to inclose
stamped. Selt-GddreSsed en-
aDelope and send request to her,
in care of the Wondn's De-
pdrtment, The EDening Star,
Washington 4, D. C.
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