Madison County Democrat. (London, Ohio) 19??-1958, 1953-07-17
8 OUR
"a KSW
OUCH!

Local man Wdlkcu Ailo eiic
London police station the
other day and said that he
wanted to pay a fine. A quick
check of the records revealed
no such fine owing and no
record of the man on the
books. Further check with
other legal agencies here also
failed to reveal any such cir
cumstance. Payoff came when
the man was questioned fur
ther.
"Oh," said the man, II don't
owe the money here. / don't
get along with the mayor
down where live, so / want
to pay you instead of him.
Officer in charge detected
the aroma of corn squeezings
on the mans breath. Result?
"A SOLDERING hour or two IN
the clink and fine OF $l9.oO
in the mayors court. Far as
we know the man still owes
the fine to the other mayor.
IT'S NEW
We knew they'd get around
to it sooner or later but they
did it sooner than we expected
invented a paper bathing suit!
PAPER suits come in assorted
colors and designs and are
said to be absolutely water
proof. You can order 'em by
the dozen, girls.
May / 60 swimming from
the boat?"
"Yes, my darling. (quote)
Hang your clothes from a
hickory float but don't go near
that goat!"
SHOCK
Man driving along a country
road when large farm truck
turned without warning.
Avoiding a smash-up was no.
thing short of a miracle but
the man managed to avoid
crash somehow. Hopping mad
the man jumped out of his car
and said, "You blithering idiot;
why didn't you signal that you
were going to turn in here ?"
Farmer looked at the man a
long second and replied.
Don't be a dam fool, man, l
ALWAYS turn in here"
SAFETY
Remember back in the good
old days when people turned
over in their graves? Nova
days they turn over in their
cars.
ADVICE
The world would be better
place and in a lot better shape
if there were as many people
willing to fill prescriptions as
there are those willing to
write them.
pAFFYNiTiONs
MARRIAGE-when q won1-
an gives up the attentions of
many for the unattention OF
one.
VACATTON-chan from
a tee-shirt to a sport shirt
when you dress up.
PESSIMIST "a guy who
sees a cloud in a silver lining.
SUCCESS-When you stop
cussing the bus driver and
start squalling about plane
reservations.
NAP-difference between a
good speaker and a bad one.
HEYWooD
Old Haywood Snugg, the
Sigmund Freud of Five Points,
says that when a girl claims
she has a boyish figure, it's
usually straight from the
shoulder. Them gals may git
gossiped about for wearin'
them postage-stamp bathin'
SUITS" says Haywood, "but
don't fergit that they sure
carry the males"
oh, sRoTHER!
And then there's the one
about the city feller who
thought that shoat was
cross between a sheep and a
goat. (This is not to be con-
fused with another zoot-suiter
who thought that q hamlet
was a small pigD
QUESTION
Little Willie asked his old
man, Dad, what goes ninety
nine BONK, ninety-nine
BONK?"
What? ?" asked Dad.
"Centipede with a wooden
leg!" said Willie as he fell into
the cider press.
QUANDRY
It's hard to tell whether
things will ever get back to
normal or whether they're al
ready here.
MISERY
Our own idea of misery Is a
sunburn over poison ivy.
LAST WORD
Modern viewpoint wou ! d
seem to bear out the idea of
do unto others before they
do you."