davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star., 1953-03-08
Leonard tripped over Harvey

once introduced Joe E. Brown as ''c,r-
rently starving in 'Harey.'''
PROBABLY the best known Spoonerism in
the world is attributed to the intoxicated
gent who tried to appease his outraged bride
with, I'm not as much under the affluence
of incohol as certain thinkle seem to peep"
And that is closely followed by the nervous
banquet chairman who had to introduce
certain General Reginald Hotchkiss.
''FOlks," he began, ''Our guest this
evening bears a name familiar to you
all. Its last syllable is what he's given
his wife every night for forty years.
Here he is: that battle-scared - l mean
bOttle-scarred warrior, General HOtch-
kick, here to deliver our annual Birth
ingtOn's Washday address,
TaE LAST STRAW. Show people will not
soon forget one hapless fellow whose debut
as NC. for big one-hour radio "draymer"
ended in disaster. The star was Walter
Pidgeon, and the NC. got off on the wrong
foot by assuring him, "Mr. Privilege, this is
indeed Pidgeon." Further undone by the
studio audiences burst of laughter, he hur-
ned on with, This program is brought to
you by the worlds largest producer of
magnesium, aleeminum and STOOL"
At last reports, he had taken up resi-
dence in the MOjave Desert, abiding to
a row Of buzzards only slightly less
skePtical than the ones he had left be-
hind ON Madison Avenue, s'Can l help
it if was born with silver SpOOnerism
in my MOUTH" BENNETT CERF
Evening star., 1953-03-08

Mrs. Evelyn Joyce Schenk, talented
1858 Queen of Homemakers," hears
about today's lighter, richer-tasting
Aunt Jemima Pancakes
PLACE: Aunt Jemima's kitchen CAST OF cHARAC-
TIERS: Aunt Jemima and lovely Mrs. SchenE Mrs.
America of 1863. PLOT: demonstration of
today's lighter, richer favored Aunt Jemimas.
"Your newest pancakes are even lighter!" enthused
Mrs. Schenk, who is just as proud of her cooking
ability az of her title "And that famous Old South
flavor is even more enticing now" reminded
Aunt Jemima proudly mo vonder folks say
today's Aunt Jemimas are my best success!"
Evening star., 1953-03-08

Mrs. America Evelyn
Joyce Schenk) won her
crown equally for her
beauty and her home
making ability. An ex-
pert cook. she also makes
her own clothes.
Evening star., 1953-08-23
SUNDAY SCHOOL MISCHIEF

about the lad who exclaimed to his teacher.
See that horse runnin'?" Don't forget your
g." admonished the teacher. "Okay," said
the lad Gee, see that horse runnin'?. :"
H. S. Percival, of Garden City, awakens a
dim memory of my own with When is a
door not door? When it's ajar," and L. c.
Buckley, of Chicago, does the same with
why is chicken on fence like penny?
Heads on one side, tails on the other"
Elizabeth Anger. of Cincinnati still chuck
les over why does traffic light turn red?",
the answer being. You'd turn red, too, if
you had to change in the middle of the
street. :" And in Shreveport, Mrs. Vance
Evening star., 1953-08-23
why does q troffic light turn red?"

Thompson's six-year-old, obviously impec-
cably reared. came home from party in fine
spirits, to be asked by his mother, Were
you the youngest one there?"
''NOt at ALL he answered IOftily.
''Therc was another gentleman present
who was wheeled in in baby carriage"
THE LAST STRAW. DR.. Frank Littleton
was on duty in state medical bureau in
the Blue Ridge Mountains district when
mother entered with husky. tough-looking
son of about three, and promptly proceeded
to nurse him, to the CONSERVATION of the
entire staff.
MY dear lady," sputtered DIR. Littleton,
that boy is too big to be nursed. You should
have weaned him long ago.
'IknOw," admitted the mother sadly.
But every time try. he throws rocks
at me- BENNETT CERF
Evening star., 1953-08-23

drums from their youth. Only Noah saw
bigger deluge than the mail that followed!
And it was Noah. incidentally, who figured
in the riddle recalled by the greatest number:
Q. Why didn't they play cards on the
Ark?
A. Noah was sitting on the deck.
Q. Who was the greatest fnancier in the
Bible?
A. Noah He floated a stock company
when the whole world was in liquidation.
Q. Where was Noah when the lights
went out?
A. In lark.
guess it serves me right for bringing the
whole thing up
FROM all the hundreds of other Biblical
riddles submitted, my son Christopher,
whose taste in these matters have come
to recognize as even CORNER than mine, has
selected the following:
Q. Where was SOlomOn's Temple?
A. On the side of his head.
Y. why didn't the anclents use states and
pencils?
A. Because the Lord told them to multi
ply on the face of the earth.
O.. Why is Satan always gentleman?
A. Because. being the imp o darkness,
he never can be imp O'lite.
Q. How did Jonah feel when the whale
swallowed him?
A. Down in the mouth.
Finally. Ia correspondents to date con-
tributed the one about the first time walking
sticks popped up in the Bible. 1t was the
day, of course, when Eve presented Adam
with little Cain.
And that, hope, will be enough of that
for the time being
WALTER D0UcHERTY, of Lansing. re-
calls that the first joke he ever told was
Evening star., 1953-08-23
lands SAKES,

IL didn't know what |
was starting when | in
nocently asked in u col
unln some weeks ago
whether CerfbOard
readers rememb bered
any Biblical cOnun-
Evening star., 1953-08-23

Clinical tests tnow published in dental
journalD with 589 children show that
chlorophyll toOthpaste can reduce gingi-
Even severe cases. were quickly i'm
Ottawa County news. (Port Clinton, Ohio) 1931-1956, 1953-02-06
Gates & SON CONTRACTORS
HAVE 45 YEARS EXPERIENCE

Using quality materials furnish
ed by local concerns, H. l.. Gates
& Son, contractors, have been
building homes in and around
Port Clinton for IS years. Fully
equipped for any job, small or
large, remodeling and moderniza-
tion is another speciality of this
well known contracting firm.
No better recommendation can
be cited than contract recently
signed by H. L. Gates & Son to
erect building 70x 1874 feet for
the Port Clinton Lumber and Coal
Company, construction of which
has already begun.
Unlike many concerns which eX-
perience continual and rapid
turnover of operating personnel,
with a resulting sacrifice of exper-
fence and efficiency, no employee
has been with H. l.. Gates & Son
for less than three years, and all
are completely covered by liability
and workman's compensation bene-
Ottawa County news. (Port Clinton, Ohio) 1931-1956, 1953-02-06

pany for the purpose of establish
ing the old Northwest Territory.
At this first meeting in March,
1885, the delegates, led by Rufus
Putnam and Manasseh Cutler, laid
down as one of their objectives
the establishment of a university
that is now Ohio University.
Although it has been gone for
some time, the old Bunch of
Grapes Tavern" is we'll remember
ed. 1t was located on what is now
the corner of State and Kilby
Streets in Boston where the Ex-
change Building now stands.
The first regular Masonic Lodge
in America was organized there on
July 80, 1888. In 1857 the repeal
of the Stamp Act was celebrated
there. George Washington was
entertained there after the evac-
uation of the British in ITS. Dele
gates of the Ohio Company held
two meetings there; one to form
the company and one to make
plans for settling the Ohio Country
In 1945, when the Ohio Univer.
sity celebrates its Sesquicentennial
anniversary, the first celebration
of the year will be in honor of
the eleven delegates who first met
at the Bunch of Grapes Tavern
February 18, 1854, has been de.
Ottawa County news. (Port Clinton, Ohio) 1931-1956, 1953-02-06

BIRTHPLACE OF OHIO uNvERsITY-Wen Of Revolutionary
cid Bunch of Grapes Tavern
Boston, Mass form the Ohio Company for the of establishing
their obectves the establishment OF
university University The old pictured above
painting made after careful research by Chester H. Phillips will
recognition during the universis celebration Of
1854 especially Founders Day. Feb 49, 1854 The stood
present Exchange Building State and Klby Streets,
Boston,
Ottawa County news. (Port Clinton, Ohio) 1931-1956, 1953-02-06
EAST CLINTON LUMBER FIRM
PLANS DIVERSIFIED DISPLAY

What do I need? Where can l
get it? How much does it cost?
These three questions must be
answered before you can start
that new building, game room, gar
age, summer porch, or even a
new pantry shelf. The Fact Clin-
ton Lumber and Coal Company
had the answers to these three
questions away back in 1911. They
have the answers today.
The East Clinton Lumber and
Coal Company is Ottawa County's S
Headquarters for top quality con-
structions items at prices you can
afford to pay. Since there are so
many items to consider when you
are building you'll enjoy the con-
venience of being able to purchase
all of the construction materials
on your list at the East Clinton
Lumber Company
Still another service rendered by
the East Clinton Lumber Company
is expert advice on building pro-
blems of any kind. What kind of
nail to use on a particular job,
for instance, may seem relatively
unimportant. There is, however,
a particular kind of nail for every
purpose and unless the right nail
is used, the finished product will
be less than perfect to say the
least. The answers to this and
many other problems more COM
plicated in nature is yours for the
asking at the East Clinton Lumber
and Coal Company.
Of interest to anyone who is
building or planning to build, will
be visit to the booth display of
Ottawa County news. (Port Clinton, Ohio) 1931-1956, 1953-02-06

signated as Founders Day
On Founders Day representatives
from Spain, France and England,
and other famous personalities,
will join the students, faculty,
and alumni of Ohio University in
honoring the New Englanders
who established and built the
university
Special tribute will be paid to
Rufus Putnam, Manasseh Cutler,
Winthrop Sargent, Benjamin Tup-
per, John Mills, John Brooke,
Thomas Cushing, Croker Samp-
son, John Patterson, Jahlaliel
Woodbridge and Abraham w l.
liams, on Founders Day.
In addition to the Ohio Company
delegates, other men from New
England were instrumental in build
ing Ohio University from an in
stitution of one small building and
three students to its present sta
tus of a university with over 1000
students.
Jacob Lindley, the schools first
president, was a graduate of
Princeton. Other early Ohio Univ
ersity presidents and faculty mem
bers from New England were James
Irving from Union College, Robert
Wilson from Dickinson, William
McGuffey from Washington Col
lege, Joseph Dana from Dartmouth,
and Artemus Sawyer form Har-
ward.
William McGuffey was the au-
thor of the famed McGuffey Read
ers used in American schools a
number of years ago.
DR.. John C. Baker, who has
been president of Ohio University
since 1945, lived in New England
for Is years. He was graduated
from Harvard University and was
a professor and associate dean at
Harvard before coming to Ohio
University.
Ottawa County news. (Port Clinton, Ohio) 1931-1956, 1953-02-06

protect the value of the invest
ment. in them.
The services offered by this pro-
gressive builder is not confined to
pre-fabricated homes. Mr.. Putnam
is specialist also in the construc-
ton of conventional homes, frame
and brick veneer, and commercial
buildings of all types.
Offering complete building
service, from the preparation of
plans to assistance in making
financial arrangements, Frank Ii
Putnam, General Contractor, will
sponsor a booth at the Ottawa
County Home and Builders Show
in cooperation with the Thyer Man
ufacturing Corporation Of Toledo.
A wide variety of literature on
Pollmon pre-fahricated homes will
be available, and visitors to the
booth will receive prompt and
courteous answers to any ques-
tions they may have in the field
of home construction.
Ottawa County news. (Port Clinton, Ohio) 1931-1956, 1953-02-06
INSURANCE AGENTS. BOOTH TO
FEATURE .REACTOMETER TESTS

Motorists will have an opportun-
ity Feb. IL to Is to learn how
reaction time effects their ability
to stop a car by checking them
selves on the Aetna Portable Re-
actometer.
The Reactometer, a unique driv-
er-testing device which measures
the time required to apply the
brake after recognizing danger on
the highway, will be sent here by
the Aetna Casualty and Surety
Company of Hartford, Connecticut,
for The Ottawa County Home and
Builders Show.
Consisting of cabinet with red,
yellow and green traffic" lights,
the Aetna Reactometer clocks :
to the eighth of a second the
time motorist takes to shift his
foot from the accelerator to the
brake pedal whenever the light
changes to red Both accelerator
and brake pedal are attached to
the device in simulated normal
driving position.
Each driver" tested gets score
card showing his reaction time and
the number of feet his car
20 to 80 miles per hour. Com
parative distances for reaction
times from one second to one
eighth of second are also shown.
!. The score card reveals that at
five-eighths of second the
average reaction time recorded on
the Aetna Reactometer car
going 20 miles an. hour will travel
Is feet before the driver begins to
apply the brake. At so miles an
hour, the distance jumps to SIS
feet. A motorist who takes one
second to react, however, will have
gone % and 88 feet, respectively,
Ottawa County news. (Port Clinton, Ohio) 1931-1956, 1953-02-06

fits. Holding to the theory that
no detail should be overlooked,
every job undertaken by this pop
ular contracting firm is fully in
sured before stone is overturned.
A feature OF tie booth display
of H. L. Gates & Son at the Ottawa
County Home and Builders Show
will be photographs of many of the
homes they have built in recent
years. Prospective builders will get
look at pictures and plans for a
conventional 6 room house with
breeze-way and garage, wood
burning fireplace, brick veneer,
and many other desirable features.
Floor sanding techniques and
equipment constitute another dis
play for public inspection. Esti-
mates and advice on individually
planned homes, remodeling and
modernization problems will be
cheerfully given free of charge.
Ottawa County news. (Port Clinton, Ohio) 1931-1956, 1953-02-06

the East Clinton Lumbe Company
at the Ottawa County Home and
Builders Show in the Port ClintoD
Armory, February IL through 15.
Featuring. many of the latest in
novations in the construction field,
from ratings to storm windows,
as well as many new products in
related fields. you can be assured
of an interesting and profitable
few minutes inspecting these and
many other construction items.
Ottawa County news. (Port Clinton, Ohio) 1931-1956, 1953-02-06

effect considerable savings in the
total cost since pre-fabrication
lends itself to speedy completion
time.
In 1947, following service in the
Navy, Mr. Putnam moved from
Lakeside to Port Clinton, and has,
in the past five years, erected
many homes in Catawba Cliffs,
Port Clinton and elsewhere in
Ottawa County. Mr.. Putnam re-
Gently announced the opening of
the Putnam Subdivision in the
south end of Port Clinton, offer
ing large home sites with all m
provements in, and paid for. The
lots have suitable restrictions to
Ottawa County news. (Port Clinton, Ohio) 1931-1956, 1953-02-06
Stahls' Dissolve
Fremont Law Firm

One of the areas best known
law firms, Stahl, Stahl and Stahl,
which has been operated in Ere
mont since 1927, has been Dissolved.
Henry and Thomas Stahl, bro
theirs, announced last week that
they will establish their own Of
fices. Their late father, John
Stahl, also had been member of
the firm.
Ottawa County news. (Port Clinton, Ohio) 1931-1956, 1953-02-06
Food Contracts
Awarded At Erie

Contract for milk products and
bread deliveries for Erie Ordnance
Depot for the first three months
Of the year were awarded by the
Central Procurement Office of the
depot.
The Lake Shore Dairy Company
Port Clinton, was awarded con-
tract totaling $698.60 for delivery
of milk products.
The General Baking Company
Toledo, was awarded the contract
for bread deliveries. It was for
$23O.4O.
Ottawa County news. (Port Clinton, Ohio) 1931-1956, 1953-02-06
PUTNAM CONTRACTORS TO
FEATURE PRE-FAB HOUSES

Prefabrication has long been an
accepted idea in home building.
Designed by Richard Pollman,
famous small and large home de-
Signer, an ever increasing number
of poular Pollman prefabricated
homes are being built in this area
by Frank L. Putnam, distributor
erector for Pollman Homes in
Ottawa County. Built along con-
ventional lines, and meeting all
FILA and VA requirements, Poll
man Homes are available in a
great many styles and sizes. The
quality of materials and workman
ship in Pollman homes is equal
to that in any conventional home
in the same price class, and buyers
Ottawa County news. (Port Clinton, Ohio) 1931-1956, 1953-02-06

would have travelled before the
brake was applied at speeds from
at these speeds.
Developed by the Aetna as a
public service, the Reactometer
was designed to dramatize to mo-
torists the important safe-driving
fact that the number of feet re-
quired to bring a car to full
stop is dependent not only on
braking distance but on reaction
distance as we'll.
The Reactometer will be dis
played through the courtesy of
the Ottawa County Association of
Insurance Agents.
Ottawa County news. (Port Clinton, Ohio) 1931-1956, 1953-02-06
Ohio University Had Birth
In Bunch of Grapes Tavern

Ohio University in Athens, Ohio,
will recognize an old tavern in
Boston, Mass, as its birthplace
when it celebrates it's 150th birth
day in 1854. The old Bunch of
Grapes Tavern" was the site where
the Revolutionary War veterans
first met to form the Ohio Com
Ottawa County news. (Port Clinton, Ohio) 1931-1956, 1953-02-06

Speed amazing relief from miseries d
simple piles, with soothing .Pazo+! Acts
to relieve pain, itching inst0ntly--soothes
inaamed tissues-lubricates dry. hard.
ened parts-helps prevent cracking, sore,
ness-reduce swelling. You get real CONF
forting help. Don't suffer needless torture
from simple piles. Get Pazo for fast. won,
derful relief. Ask your doctor about IL
Suppository form also. tubes with peS
forated pile pipe for easy application
sPaso Qialnssa end SEptositortss0
Ottawa County news. (Port Clinton, Ohio) 1931-1956, 1953-02-06
HEART ATTACK OR
INDIGESTION?

TiiANk HEAvENSi Most attacks are just acid
Indigestion. When it strikes, take Bell-ans
tablets. They contain the fastest-acting
medicines known to doctors for the relief Of
heartburn, gas and similar distress 25G.
Evening star., 1953-04-19

I have tried
many things for
pimples. but
I've found moth
ing TO conc up
70 your product.
MIS- e. K.
The Farmville herald and farmer-leader. (Farmville, Va.) 1934-1957, 1953-10-09
Sweet Potatoes Are
Vitamin-lich And
Plentiful This Year

The sweet potato crop this year
IS eXpecte5 to be IS per cent larger
than last years small crop, ac-
cordlng to the U S. Department
Of Agriculture More sweet Pota-
Jo2s on the market should be good
news for every homemaker who
realizes what a prize package Of
food values this vegetable is.
.long with its high energy value,
the sweet potato is a rich source
OF vltamln A, provides good guam
titles Of VitaNn c H. especially
when freshly harvested. and small
amounts OF B-vltamins and min
erals Morever, when you buy By
weight, you don't buy much water
because the sweet potato is low IN
water content,
Use sweet POTATOES promptly
because they usually ate not good
keepers in home Kitchens. home
economists advise To get the
most from them, cock them in
their Jackets and peel afterwards.
Cook quickly ana serve promptly
50 there's little chance for ait to
rob their good store of vitamin c.
Single copies of Sweet Potato
Recipes Leaflet 293l are free on
request from the Office Of IN
formation, U. S Department of
Agriculture Washington 25. D. C.
The Farmville herald and farmer-leader. (Farmville, Va.) 1934-1957, 1953-10-09

GEORGE Pressen received his
discharge from the Armed Forces
recently and is visiting has par
ents, Mr.. and Mrs. S. r. Presscll.
Mrs. Emma NoIvell and Jeanne.
CT Richmond. were week end
guests Of her parents, MI. and
Mrs j NJ Brown.
II f Coffee visited his mother
and grandmother, IN Amherst
county Sunday
Miss Patricia Brown. president
OF the Methodist Youth Fellow :
ship Of the Falmvile District. at
tended a plan shop for youth. on
the Burkcville charge. Saturday
and Sunday. She was the guest Of
the Misses Marget and Shirley
Shepard
Mrs Belle Levasseur and son.
jerry, visited friends in Washing
ton during the week end.
The Farmville herald and farmer-leader. (Farmville, Va.) 1934-1957, 1953-10-09
. Ashby

WSCS Of Thomas Chapel held
its September meeting at the
church. Wednesday afternoon
with the president, Mrs L. B
Garrett, presiding. Emphasis was
laid on the duties of each secre-
tary and officer.
Mr.. and Mrs. H. S. Bigger have
as their guest, her mother. Mrs
c. M. Thomas Other week end
guests included Mr. and Mrs. Ct
+. Powell and sons, of Highland
springs, and Mr.. and Mrs. Claude
Weaver and Patsy and Connie, Of
Roanoke
Mr.. and Mrs. Howard Whittier,
from California, Mrs. Paine, 4. M
Ring and Miss Anita Whittier. Of
Fries, spent several days as the
guests of Mr.. and Mrs. James
Meador, recently.
Mrs. John Smith. of PoWhatan,
and Miss Geneva Smith. of Rich
mond, visited in the w. P. San
derSon home, Sunday.
Among those attending Thomas
Chapel, Sunday morning, from a
distance included MI and Mrs.
j. K. Stonnell and Lynn and Pat.
Mr.. and Mrs. j. q. SanderSon and
Jimmy and Jacelyn and Mr.. and
Mrs. Lloyd Carneal, all of Rich
mond, Miss Audrey Sanderson. of
Madison College, and Bobby San
derson, of RPI.
Mr.. and Mrs. c. G. Sanderson
and Steve and r. S. Martin. and
Sonny and Buddy attended the
VPl-UniverSlty OF Virginia foot
ball game.
Among those attending the At
lantlc Rural Exposition in Rich
mond, last week. included Mr.. and
MIS-. Lewis Dawson, Mrs. G.. A.
Stonnell, Mi and Mrs c. G. San
derson and Bobby and Steve, Mir.
and Mrs. r. S. Martin and Son
ny and Buddy, r. p. Holland. MI.
and Mrs. <. c. Walton. Jr., Miss
Audrey Sanderson. Miss Ola Wal
ton and Mr. and Mrs. Dennis
heart and Rebecca and Kenneth.
Mrs. Heart brought back two rib
oonS TO add to her prize collection.
The Farmville herald and farmer-leader. (Farmville, Va.) 1934-1957, 1953-10-09
POwllalan

Nh and MIS- c. c. Blanton. who
are visiting relatives in Carriers
vale were dinner guests of Mr.
and Mrs. w Il. Parker on We'd
nesjay
Miss Vista TorreIl is motoring
through the New England States
with friends from Richmond
Private Nelson L. Patterson is
now with the Third Armored Dl
VISION at Fort KNOX, Ky. His
brother, W. b. Patterson, Jr.. is
with the Second MP Division
overseas. They are sons of Mr.. and
MIS-, w. B. Patterson, of Flat
Rock.
Inc community was saddcned
70 learn Of the death OF G. E.
fonts father of Mrs. G. NJ
Powell, now living at Crewc. Va.
work IS progressing we'll on the
Educational plant of May Me
moral Church. About 20 men are
WoIAlne each night voluntarily
~ ADDITION TO the regular dav
Woik crew being supervised bv /
J. DAVIS. This volunteer work es-
peclally BY men not connected
with Tic church. is greatly an
pFeelated By the congregation and
sunday School members. On
IIGSGay " ioi
The Farmville herald and farmer-leader. (Farmville, Va.) 1934-1957, 1953-10-09
Three Members Join
jefferson III Club
In PoWhatan County

Three neW members joined the
Jefferson Ali Club in PoWhatan
county at it's september meeting
They were Anne Lloyd Brenda
LLOYD and Merlc Springs.
Twenty members Of the CLUB
were on hand to greet the new
memb.rs at tl.e home Of Mrs. j.
II Franz
In add ton to completing rec
ords for last year and planning
for ills wear during the meeung,
members were introduced to the
rev home demonstration agent
OF PoWhatan county. Miss Edith
Ann HackWortA.
1t was reported at the Septem-
Der meeting that many All club
exhibits were entered in the
GOochland FoWhatan Louisa
County Fair some Of the winners
from The club we're June Allison.
first. cake Edith Frame, first,
rolls Helene Frame biscuits. sec
ond Bessie Tillman, tray, first;
and Marie Spying, ncedlepoint,
second