Evening star., 1953-12-13
Continued From First Page.)

which Presidents have been ac-
customed to deliver when they
have attended the twice-a-year
gatherings Of the club.
Instead, Senate Republican
Leader Knowland of California
spoke for the Republicans. and
Representative Roosevelt replied
for the Democrats. The Presi-
dent spoke briefly to conclude the
program.
New Officers Named.
Marshall Mcneil, correspond
ent for Scripps-Howard news
papers in Texas and Tennessee.
was elected president of the club,
to succeed Duke Shoop of the
Kansas City Star, and Edward
T. Folliard of the Washington
Post, was elected vice president.
New members initiated were
James B. Reston of the New
York Times, Glenn Thompson of
the Cincinnati Enquirer, Jack
Bell of the Associated Press and
Carlton Kent Of the Chicago
Sun Times.
Under the direction of 1t. Col.
William F. Santelmann, director
of the Marine Band and musical
director of the Gridiron Club,
the United States Marine Band
Orchestra played the score for
an evening of panning the Ma
tion's great and near-great.
The audience was transported
to "manana" land where Re-
publican Daniel A. Reed of New
York found Secretary of Agri-
culture Benson snoozing peace
fully outside hut and reused
him with the warning: "We're
in trouble" Mr.. Reed told of
It in song:
"Our program isn't working
and we don't know what
to do;
1.-THE old umbrella seems to let
q 1OU VI WdGC1 tA14 14O0SAAs
"The leaders up in Congress
shout for action right
away
"We1l go to work TOMOR-
ROW, but we really can't
today.
**#
"Our Mister Ezra Benson and
the farmers can't agree,
"The cowboys all are yelling,
just as mad as they
can be;
"But give us just little time
we cannot say just
when
"We1l surely please the
farmers-if they'll only
wait till then"
BrOwnell Needs Plumber.
Secretary of Labor Mitchell
was calling for a plumber and
when Mr.. Benson asked what
had gone wrong, Mr.. Mitchell
replied that Attorney General
Brownell just busted another
boiler" Martin Durkin, who re-
signed as Secretary Of Labor,
turned up with a letter. from
Gen. Eisenhower which closed.
to the tune of "P.S. Love You,"
with the lines:
Nothing else for me to say,
"And so I'll close, but by the
way,
mot a soul is thinking of
"P.s. I LOVE YOU!"
Senator Aiken of Vermont in
Quired of Senator Ives Of New
York if Gov. Thomas E. Dewey
of that State was having difficult
ties. Gravely, Senator Ives said
that TON has been trying to
burn the candle at both ends
he had trouble trimming the
WickS."
To the tune of "Glocca Morra,"
Gov. Dewey sang:
How are things in Danemorra?
"Are the party leaders calling
there?
do they still run down to see
their friends
Through iron bars,
COR do they longer dare?"
Republican National Chairman
Leonard Hall came in rubbing
his eyes and inquiring with a
yawn If the returns from New
Jersey were still coming in. He
said only the "big boss" could
explain and he asked Gen. Eisen-
hover what had happened to the
Republicans in last months elec-
tionS in these words:
"Oh weary, worry, that Novem-
ber day.
"Came the time to count the
votes and there was hell
to pay;
what hit us then, when we
CnoughC we cOulQ relax!
"You spoke for the G. o. P.
How'd we lose the victory
"When New York, Jersey
Hammered us with an ax?"
Here the chorus, to the music
Of Tell Me a Story" Joined in
with:
Tell us a story, tell us a story,
tell us a story.
Remember what you said?
"What happened to the
G. o. P.'s?
"Tell us about the birds and
bees
"Tell us a story. we'll go back
to bed!"
Mr.. Mitchell asked Secretary
of Interior Mckay if he had
heard about the Eisenhower
waltz-"one step forward, hesi-
tate; one step sideways. glide.
one step back, stop?"
Mccarthy Strides In.
Senator Mccarthy of Wiscon-
sin strobe in to exclaim that that
was what was wrong with the
administration-it doesn't take
enough steps.