The Key West citizen. [volume] (Key West, Fla.) 1879-current, 1952-04-07
HAL
BOYLE
SAYS
BY HAL BOYLE

fat man.
! used to be round and firm
and fully packed. / used to be
able to crowd q one-way street.
When stepped on the scales,
they didn't just weigh me. They
said "Ouch!"
But / was q walking porpoise
ON purpose. ! enjoyed being tat.
When / laughed ! had twice as
much fun as q thin man. because
there was so much more of me
there ready and able to have a
good time.
All this is past. The suits ]
busted out of yesterday now hang
upon me in folds. Where ] used
to bulge. / now sag and wrinkle.
l amt exactly the thin man-but
I'm on my way.
Why did ] give up the happy,
self-satisfied, carefree life Of 4 fat
man to join the miserable millions
of dieting Americans?
Well, to make a clean breast Of
it. there were two reasons.
First, / was ionely-overwhelm-
ingly lonely. ALI my friends were
on diet. AL my enemies were on
a diet. / began to feel ! was the
only fat man left In the world. ]
had nothing to talk about because
there was nothing wrong with me.
/ was just stout and happy-but
they don't allow that anymore.
The second reason ! went on q
diet is because OF my life insur-
ance company. ] just hated to 60
on worrying them. And they were
worrying all right. They began put
ting ads In the magazines and
newspapers saying that fat people
don't live as long as not-so-fat
people, that fat people don't rally
so well from illness.
Have my own theory about that.
II is this. Fat people who behave
like fat people ought to behave
that is, those who take life slow
and easy and one stair at Z time
live q long while. But fat people
who try to act like thin people
die young. It Is that simple. One
Of the reasons . whale lives 90
long is that it doesn't play tennis.
But my life insurance company
kept on putting out these uneasy
bulletins against blubber. and f.
nally ! began to feel they were
pointed at me. ! suspected they
had q vice president il charge Of
worrying about Boyle. Well, who
wants to cause q life insurance
company all that botherf They
wouldn't change their policy--so ]
changed mine.
went on . diet. like 90 many,
many millions Of peaple are doing.
! took off II pounds. II was very
easy. Folks like to dream up COM
plicated diets to lose weight, but
that is all unnecessary.
The quickest. safest and most
healthful way to lose weight Is to
quit eating what YOU like and eat
all you want Of what you don't
like. My formula Is this: II there
Is something on your plate that
looks good, throw II away. Then
eat what Is left.
The things ! hate most IN the
world to eat are fish, lamb and
fresh vegetables Of any kind. SO
that is what ! eat, and--ughl--I
wish / could take it intravenously.
! defy anybody to eat enough fish,
lamb and fresh vegetables to get
fat.
Sloughing off those IL pounds has
made a big change in my life. II
is pleasant again to hear the girls
whistle at me as I pass by and
murmnr There goes Tiger Man"
look better and feel better and
l know my life insurance company
now is relaxing. Secretly, I guess
the company is kind Of proud Of
me.
But ] do miss the comfortable,
solid, sedate feeling that fat gives
. fellow. And ] am just about as
lonely as ever. Because all my
friends and enemies want to talk
about Is diets. diets. !. diets.
And anybody who can 90 on
talking about fish. lamb. and fresh
vegetables Is just plain hard up
for conversation.