The Catholic times. [volume] (Columbus, Ohio) 1951-current, 1952-11-14
Just Among Ourselves
Pss.irs Comment consis.rss or lneonsid.rs.

You remember the jngling limerick about the
pelican, that wonderful bird? One line of it runs
you open your eyes in wild surprise" Well, there
are things other than pelicans to arouse startled
amazement in the beholder One of these things
is advertisement appearing currently in a sup
posedly reputable Catholic magazine. One reads it,
not only with astonshment but with dismay. and
increasing anger.
We are all accustomed TO extravagances in ad-
Vertising We know all about the superlative claims
of cigarettes, beers automobiles refrigerators and
deodorans-thoSe essentials of what is lightly called
THE American Way of Life" We hear about these
things every day This is not pleasant experience
1t is irritating; II is silly without the only element
which Stiffness that is some flash of humor
or entertainment But it is not base it is not wholly
intolerable.
The amazing advertisement of which we speak
now is both base and intoerable II is foul and in
decent II takes forever from the magazine which
publishes il the right to the respect of readers; in
deed, it takes away the right to subscribers and
readers altogether. That this advertisement should
appear in Catholic magazine with name that
OF itself awakens reverence in all the faithful
is shame unspeakable. The editors of this maya
zine should resign their present charge; perhaps
they might be taken on ward heeers in the more
disreputable precincts of the most diSreputabIe
cities
The advertisement is neither more nor less
than the offering of what is known as sucker
hst'-that is, list of names and addresses of peo-
pie who likely prospects for any racket or
shake-down that the subscriber may wish to pro
mote. For fifty dollars may may have list
from the Catholic Laity Division" of listing
pany,-of 1900 names and addresses of wealthy Ca
thoc women, mostly widows it seems. You pay
your fifty dollars and perhaps lay out as much for
stationery, mimeogaphing and postage and then
IN nplIc aT ,Je
of dollars from the aged easy marks That is what
you are offered in this filthy advertisement!
You can't believe il is as crude as all that?
Well read and perpend. Here is direct quote:
"Have you ever stopped to think what il could
mean to you il you cultivated the friendship and
cooperation of sizable number of wealthy Catholic
women? You'll probably agree that these friend
ships would go a long way towards transmitting
your hopes into cash and your wishes into reality"
Now! What do you think of that? Could il be more
Grass, more crude openly suggestive of blk
ing dodderlng females out of their money?
There is more of ii and the quotation is still
direct, right from the text of the fucoumn adj
We can help you reach as many as 1900 of these
wealthy widows Because nearly all of them are eld
erly, these women have few or no dependents and
il is comparatively easy dor anyone with
worthwhile appeaD to influence these women in
his behalf Under the circumstances, does il pay to
turn your back on people like that?"
Under what circumstances? Under the circum
stances that the ladies are old; that they are not
likely to be surrounded by hopeful relatives uhats
what the ad man thinks-or is it?) alert to drive
off Shysters from their preserves: that they
are Catholics, and hence supposedly easy prey for
pous appeal These the circumstances. And
under these circumstances" could any fmflam
mer turn his back such easy pickings? Well no
pBt tIx kae HAIL
on these people And while turning his back he
might we'll look around for half brick to throw al
the subhuman editor who dares to publish this sort
of foul suggestion in his advertising columns.
Let us read more of the sweet reasonableness
Of this amazing advertisement: Perhaps many
as 90ee of these women reside here in the East"
Well assembled YOU see and if personal call
is indicated in addition to the come-on letter il
will not involve great amounts of time and money
for travel "The list has been completely revised,
and almost 200 names have been added during the
past month" Fresh ones, lots of them; not we'll
fished pond with few suckers left to bit, but a
recently restocked pool
Accordingly, if you arc not completely satisfied
with the progress you are making in solving your
problem why not give these moneyed women an op-
portunity to cooperate2" Why not indeed? And to
the copy-wrier we might say why not be honest
enough to say what you mean, and leave this shilly-
Shally about opportunity to cooperate? Why not say
simply and plainly, If you can't work your racket at
home, why not put the bite on these Anticipated old
DANES who have the stuff in baes?'"
"TThe price of this unique list is only fifty dol
lare There IL is. There is the whole for the
astounding publication of this astounding adver-
tsement The advertising company has something
for sale, il is unique list at fifty dollars. Just as
honorable thing as list of combinations for the
safes of 1900 business firms Buy the list for fifty
dollars then all you need do is to 90 out and rob
the safes Isn't this fine? Isn't it high? Isn't it
tribute TO the integrity of the editors who give II
publicity-for price?
Are Catholics and Catholic institutions to profit
by the existence and use of ths-sucker list? Oh lead
us to the shrine of ST Bingol Take US to the highly
religious bazaar, with underthe-eounter liquor fo
sale Comfort us with contests and stay us up with
raffles for we are sick of chicanery Get us int
the pure air Of the padde-wheel and the slot-ma
chine, where We have a fractional chance for ou
money. But spare us the sandbagging OF widowsl