The Hardin tribune-herald. [volume] (Hardin, Mont.) 1925-1973, 1952-01-10
DENTISTRY BY TELEVISIoN
WNU Features

chair).-Televisionl Why didn't you
say so? Let's go!
Master Of Ceremonies.-And
now, folks, a real treat. / give
you that talented, charming,
capable and most promising
dental patient to come along in
years, Prentice Doakes And
that famous, competent, unique
and delightful new star Of the
dentistry profession, DR.. HoWie
Hertz.
(There Is loud applause.)
Patient.-Thank you thank
you very much It's a real pleas.
ure to be here . What am I say.
ing!
Doctor.-Sit back. This isn't 60.
ing to hurt you.
Patient.-Not unless we are on the
same hour with Cantor or Hope.
.Doctor.-Open wider. I must do a
little drilling.
Patient.-That isn't a drill you
are trying to get into my mouth.
=. It's a settler bottle.
Doctor.-My mistake. Those self.
e bottles creep into almost every
video program.
Patient.-We can get laughs with
out 'em here. ~
Doctor.-Are you sure?
Patient.-Certainly. I can put on
a red wig and you car operate in
your underwear.
Doctor.-Do you wish more than
one tooth taken care of?
Patient.-That depends. on how
long the program is. If it's a full
!, hour go as far as you like. This
could get us both as good a rating
as Tallulah Bankhead.
,Doctor.-Bankhead doesn't treat
teeth. She knocks 'em out Lie
back further.
Patient.-If I lie back further /
won't screen well.
Doctor.-Unless you lie back I
can't get at this rear molar.
Patient.-Treat a front tooth. /
want the talent scouts to get a good
view of me.
Doctor.-Did you come here for
dentistry or merely in a hope God
frey might be watching this pro-
gram?
Master of Ceremonies.-Ladies
and gentlemen, let me at this
r time call attention to the grip
employed by DR.. Hertz not
too heavy and, on the other
hand, not too loose. Note the
skill with which he takes the
drill and applies it to the pa
tient.
Patient.-What's the dentist got
to be nervous about? II you wish to
note genuine courage keep your eye
on me. Ouch! -.
Doctor.-Did I hit a nerve?
Patient.-The way it hurt, ! think
you hit my coaxial cable.
Doctor.-Maybe we need music on
this program. I'll have the nurse
bring in her ukelele and play some
thing. Have you any favorite?
Patient.-Play anything e p I
"I'n See You Again Some Day."
,s% = f %r
Doctor Isuddenly waving into the
cameras)--Hello, NOM! Hello popI
Patient doing likewise). Hi
there, kiddies! This is Uncle Tooth
ache. 'E$ . go "~,@'a
Doctor.-Somehow ! feel this act
is not telecasting well.
Patient.-We need a cup-custard
and false-nose interlude right away.
And we've got to get a strong finish.
Dcctor.-I have ii. You hum a
tune while I'm drilling. The first
person identifying it gets $18, 500
and all the teeth extractions the
whole family needs for the next five
years. z@@&
Video Fan (phoning in).-I reeog-
nize it. The tune is Wagner's o du
mein holder Abendstern from Tam
hauser. TX
Patient.-No. but with the den
lists fist in my mouth that's the
way it probably soundsl
The Democrats and Republicans
10th have had $10O-a-plate dinners.
This shows both parties want to
show that they are having as much
trouble eating these days as any
body else.
Adrian W. De Wind is associate
counsel to the Senate subcommittee
probing the latest Washington scan
dial. We hear that a fellow ousted as
a result Of the exposures is working
on a book to be called Gone with
De Wind"
We have spent days studying pic
lures of the sculptures awarded TOP
prizes in the recent Metropolitan
Museum Of Arts prize contest and
are still groggy. First prize, So, 500,
went to a study called Two Men.
and to is it looked like something
done by Junior to represent a COM
posite study Of Jimmy Durante,
Zone Eye" Connolly and Harry the