Evening star., 1952-07-02
Modern
Marriage
1t Is Claimed
Momos' Boys Make
Poor Husbands
By Dr. Paul Popenoe

We delve today into phase Of
psychology sometimes referred to
as the "silver cord" complex, and
all because a correspondent named
Elizabeth wants to know how she
can recognize q "mamma's boy'
and get her guard up against him.
Elizabeth Is pretty smart.
Mamas' boys make poor hus-
bands. for the most part. Figura-
lively. the umbilical cord by which
they were bound to their mothers.
never has been severed. They still
draw their sustinence from her.
Though they may have gradu-
ated from college. obtained good
job and. to all appearances. are
ready to become husbands and
fathers. psychologically, they're
still infants.
Elizabeth writes: II wish you'd
describe these fellows a little
more fully. You've often had
things to say about them, but how
does a girl know one when she
meets him? From what I've
gathered from your writing, a girl
should be on guard against them.
I surely wouldn't want to marry
and then wake to the fact that I
have a mama's boy on my hands,"
Before I get into Elizabeth's
Question, let me quote from a letter
from Mrs. S. She has encountered
some of these Mons little angel
boys and they seem to have Soured
her on the entire male sex. Mrs.
s. divides men into the following
categories: Wolves. apes, gorillas.
hyenas, rabbits. mons boys and
real men. I'm sorry to say that
the last category is disappointingly
small and the geological listing
depressingly large. She asserts
that "the incest men I know agree
with me that SO per cent Of the
male sex are no good" Seems q
little high, to me.
However. when Mrs. s. gets into
the subject Of mons boys she
really lays it on. II have met a
number of them." she writes, "up
to so years Of age, and I don't
think they ever get over it. The
mons boys, without exception,
tell me their mothers think all
(other) women are scheming.
These mothers can't sleep a wink
until these so-called men TALL
over 35) get home"
We don't want Elizabeth to fall
in love with a mama's boy, so let's
point out some of the warning
signs, the characteristics of these
over-grown infants whose umbili-
cal cords still are unsevered:
l. They have an affection for
their mothers of such a pervasive
and childish sort that they have
lost the power of independent
action. They must always stop
and ask themselves. what would
nom think? What would she say
about this?" Their great desire is
to please their mothers. rather
than to do what should be done.
2. Submission. The mother
fixation may result in q mere
passive obedience and subservi-
ence, without any great feeling of
affection or tenderness; but
merely. II have to do it because
that's what mother wants"
3. Hatred. The man who de-
spises and abhors his mother, who
has most violent feelings of an
tagonism toward her, may have a
mother fixation, too. He is so
deeply involved with her emotion
ally that he cannot be independ-
ent; but instead of doing what
she wants, this one may 60 out
of his way to do the opposite.
None of these can stand on his
own feet and make his own deci-
sions. Each is bound, in his own
way, emotionally.
But. Elizabeth, in your very
sensible effort to avoid this type,
don't confuse them with the man
who merely loves his mother or
respects her memory. He wouldn't
be much of man If he didn't.