The Key West citizen., 1952-11-27
HAL
BOYLE
SAYS

NEW YORK u - I don't know
how your family feels about it, but
our family Is boycotting the Social
Register.
As far as we are concerned, the
Blue Book can 60 and turn blue.
GAS a matter Of fact. it has already
turned black-with rosy stripes }
The 1858 edition has dropped
Winthrop Rockefeller and his wife,
Bobo, and to them we say: "Chins
up, Kids. Don't let II get you down.
Life can still be gay"
Our own family isn't being
dropped by the 1853 Social Regis
ter. We got darned good and sore
at it when we found that there
wasn't a single Boyle listed in the
1852 edition. To our further horror
and anger we discovered there
wasn't q Boyle listed in the 1852
Social Register Of all cities--which,
to the dictators who catalog the
social dinosaurs, means only New
York, washington, D. c., Philadel-
phia, Chicago, Boston, st. Louis,
Pittsburgh, Cleveland, Cincinnati,
Dayton, San Francisco, Baltimore
| and Buffalo.
II you live anywhere between st.
Louis and Death Valley, Calf, the
presumption IL that you dwell in q
cave and eat peas with knife.
IN admit we Boyles were pretty
shaken at first when the 1852 index
Of the socially acceptable snubbed
as altogether. We held q conven-
ton, and the hoary old patriarch
Of our tribe, dressed for the occa-
sion In his best Sunday suit said
despairingly:.
"Hasn't q single one Of US BoyleS
been caught lOafing on the sands
at Palm Beach, or lifting q pinky
at q Newport tea?"
Wen, the awful truth was, none
had. We al were gainfully en-
ployed.
Then we got to thumbing through
the 1859 Social Register and found
1t contained two pages Of Robin.
sons, three pages Of Johnsons, four
pages Of Williamses, five pages Of
Browns, and eight pages Of Smiths
| (includins five Smyths but nc
Smythes).
"Why it's simple" said our fine
| old tribal leaders. "Us Boyles have
been outvoted by the hoi polloi.
What Boyle wants to be smothered
In all those Smiths7 Let's stay out
Of that book altogether"
He pointed out that the Blue
| Book was down to 2S Roosevelts, II
| Rockefellers (only 20 now with
winthrop gomez, six Astors and five
Vanderbilts.
It was explained 10 him that
when a listee was caught standing
on his head at the Metropolitan
Opera, riding a horse into q hotel,
or marrying somebody from the
wrong side Of the railroad tracks,
he was dropped from the next edi.
ton Of the Blue Book.
mo wonder they are wedding
out the fine old American families
and getting swamped by Browns
| and Smiths" said our tribe leader.
"1f fellow named Brown IL picked
up for copfishting, they probably
| don't even bother to check their
| index. But . Vanderbilt? If he
| gets arrested, they ought to volun-
| teer to 60 bail for him because he
lends class to their book. But in.
stead they just start rubbing his
name out.
"That may be high society, but
II amt lOyalty-and I say TO heck
| with IT,"
So the Boyle family voted to boy
| cot the Blue Book. And II will do
no good for the editors to come
creeping and crawling to us and
saying, please, can't We just put
one Boyle In our next edition?"
We are going TO put out our own
| social register. II viii have 100
paGes--es pages Of Boyles and one
cage for ell the Goulds, Wander
bilts, Roosevelts, and Rockefellers
the New York Social Register