Evening star., 1952-08-08
Problems
Today
Petty Deception
, Leads Perpetrotor
To Real Dishonesty
BY Muriel Nissen


| DEAR MISS NISSEN: How can
one deal with person who
believes little white lies are
necessary?
My fiance is a fine person, ex-
Icept for the fact that he can see
no harm in small lies. or minor
dishonesties. His lying is usually
done to put himself in the right
where he insists on being at all
times. He also thinks it's very
smart to get away with a few
pennies on a purchase, or other
financial deal. The funny part Of
1t is. he regards himself as
scrupulously honest. A shady"
financial transaction is, to him,
Clever" He has been honest
enough with me. He brags lot.
but since I realize it, he isn't
exactly putting anything over on
me. Other people, of course, may
not take so charitable a view Of
his extravagant fibs.
Do you know Of cure for him?
LORA.
ANSWER: Where is your sense
of proportion, Lora. that you can
describe an essentially dishonest
person as "fine?" He may be
handsome. good company,
splendid dancer, etc.. but If he lies
and cheats he most certainly Is
a man Of low character. #
Chances are. when you first be-
came aware of these rather base
traits in your finance, you thought
they were cute; otherwise 7
scarcely can see how he acquired
the status Of fiance in your life.
Surely you must have condoned
them. Now they are beginning
to become annoying and open to
Question. Can you imagine what
the next step will be? AS these
petty dishonesties grow and grow
as they inevitably must-your re-
action will be more and more
marked, to the point where you
will utterly dispise a man who can
be so lacking in honesty and fair
mess.
White lies, minor frauds, petty
Idishonesties, all have their origin
in a desire to show of, to be
clever. to put one over" on the
other fellow. Can you see any,
thing admirable in any one Of
these qualities? Yet you think
your f1ance a fine" person!
If you can regard his failings
with a little more objectivity,
there's chance you could effect
a reform. AS matters stand now,
I think you 60 along with his idea
that there is nothing too wrong
in his actions. If you will take
a firm stand Of disapproval, tell
him in no uncertain terms that he
either gives up his smart alecky
tricks, or you'll give him up, you
many get little sense into his
dishonest brain. A good book on
moral values would also have a
corrective effect. Get your min
lister to recommend one.
1t is truly amazing how many
people gleefully cheat a bus COM
pany out of dime. or a chain
store out of a dollar. It almost
seems to be a challenge with them.
Just try stealing a dollar from
them. however. and watch the
thunder roll. The ultimate effects
of cheating and lying, are. Of
course. judged in ratio to the
amount Of harm done. but even
If no discernible Ill results from a
dishonest act. its very accomplish
ment has weakened the moral fibre
Of the perpetrator. AS 1t Is. the
complexities Of modern living
create enough attacks on our
morals; those we can avoid should
be sedulously by-passed.
If your efforts. Lora, fail to re-
form your fiance. he would not
rank very high as a matrimonial
risk. You'll probably flnd yourself
living in a continual daze Of decep-
tions and falsehoods.