The Key West citizen., 1952-06-09
HAL
BOYLE
SAYS
BY HAL BOYLE


they all sound alike. It's that they
all dress alike.
The average politician looks so
much like any ordinary man you
can't even tell he is running for
office until he opens his mouth.
Then it's too late.
Politicians need something to set
them apart. Nothing sets q man
apart like a uniform. So why not
uniforms for politicians? Since
everybody loves a uniform, why
not also create one for bureau
Gratis, too? 1t would pep them up.
fsureaucrats are getting the idea
nobody really loves them anymore.
Many people in government life
now wear uniforms--su as po-
licemen, firemen, members of the
armed forces. garbage collectors
and diplomats Sreadfy identified
by their Homburg hats and striped
pantsI. But If every public servant
wore a uniform you could see at
a glance what he was. You would
also be impressed at how many
of them there are.
Naturally you would have TO
have different uniforms TO distin-
guish those elected to office and
those appointed to their jobs.
All bureaucrats, for example,
might be outfitted In neat white
hairshirts and serviceable blue
serge suits lined in the seat with
a good grade on saddle leather.
You could tell their rank by the
chevrons on their sleeves, just as
you now can tell a corporal from
a sergeant. To build pride of serv-
Ice each bureaucrat might be per-
mitted to wear a stripe on his
cuff for every three years he had
been in his post.
Then you could look at his
chevr0nS, count his stripes-and
figure his salary.
To stamp him even clearer. each
bureaucrat might wear a metal
lapel emblem denoting his branch
m government. For example,
miniature ear of corn for the De-
partment of Agriculture, a pine
tree for the National Park Serv-
ice. . pair of pliers for the Labor
Department, gilt dollar sign for
the Bureau of Internal Revenue.
Now let US consider a uniform
for elected politicians. They pre- |
sent more of a problem. A poll |
tician wants To look impressive |
and well dressed. But not too well |
dressed.
Perhaps a return to the old Ro.
man toga is called for. The toga |
is a simple classic garment, rich |
In dignity. Sew in a few inside |
pockets and provide the politician |
with q place to stow his car keys, |
cigars, aspirin tablets and cam |
paign leaflets.
Politicians belonging to the party
q power would wear a toga of
purple, the traditional color OF
-oyalty. Their togas might even
,e tastefully trimmed with fur.
Mink? No, no. no. Maybe ermine.
Politicians of the party out of
'ower would look fetching to the
'oters in a toga of white, symbol
Il purity, with a small gold star
4 hope hlazoned over the heart.
can hear some gruff old u. S. |
enator grumbling already: II
How could the people tell me
rom, an elected dog catcher or
ounty clerk?"
That's easy, senator. Every pub
&c office would have its own cam
aign ribbon--from sheriff on up. /.
'ou would wear on your chest !
eparate ribbons for all the offices
on had been elected to. II you /
ere serving your sixth term in /
he Senate. you would wear a sena. {
,rial ribbon with five oak leaf ,
lusters. A voter could view your {
hest and know your whole long
nd honorable public career. AS
Is now, you have to keep re-
linding him. r
There remains only one problem. q
bat about a uniform for a poll. :
clan who runs for office and a
'Sesg
The only thing that comes to I
ind Is a suit of sackeloth and
rying towel, edged In black. 4