Evening star., 1952-01-01
On the Air
| Resolutions
| Like These
|Cun'tLust
By Hory Macarthur

New Years resolutions they'll
never make, but could:
Arthur Godfrey, to stick to en-
tertaining, letting the Honolulu
Chamber of Commerce do its own
Job.
Steve Allen, to refuse firmly to
do those lad lib" interviews with
their stretched jokes. which
somebody provides for Songs for
Sale"
Bert Parks, to stop being so
wildly effervescent that it makes
you tired just to watch him.
Frank Sinatra, to find some
thing other than his own sketchy
frame to hang jokes on.
Dagmar, to settle down and be
a housewife, facing the sad fact
that the new TV code makes
her verboten unless she has dis
covered a new talent since last
before the cameras.
Milton Berle, to launch share
the-applause movement, letting
some of the visitors to his Star
Theater" perform without bene-
fit of his questionable assistance.
American Research Bureau, to
subscribe to Pulse, Inc.
Pulse, Inc, to subscribe to the
ARB program ratings.
DIR. Peter c. Goldmark of CHS
TV, to join the television indus
try's joint effort to produce a
compatible color system every
body will love.
Brig. Gen. David Sarnoff. to
launch RCA production of CHS
color receivers just as soon as
the critical materials situation
allows it.
Charles Laughton, to read
Dickens on television once a week,
even II he has to use brute force
on the program manager.
Bob Hope, to stop using local
Jokes on the nationwide audience
just because he likes to bask in
the warm laughter of the few
present who know the meanings
of the local jokes.
Worthington Minor, to never
again come up with a clinker
like that whodunit on Studio
One" several weeks ago.
The actor who stumbled on his
lines at a crucial moment in
that show, to learn his role well
before getting before TV cam
era again.
WNBW, to set fire to that Joe
Palooka film, or to those Joe
Paloka films If there are several
that all look like the same one.
WTOP-TV, to drop Her Sis
ter's Secret" into some convenient
incinerator.
WMAL-TV, to find a place for
studs Place." any little OF half
hour.
WTTG. to abandon all pro-
grams on which the commercials
take up more time than anything
else.
That baker. to read the news
papers before televising Jane
Powell's endorsement of his bread
just after she has collapsed on a
sound stage and been hauled off
to a hospital.
Harry Wismer, to never again
call the football play he thinks
should have been called after the
play that was called failed to
work.
Ray Elliott and Bob Goulding
(or is it the other way around?) !
to give up satirizing soap operas,
which satirize themselves, in
favor of satirizing something else,
say THE Bob and Ray Show"
Jerry Strong, to stop belittling
his French poodle just because the
French poodle is smarter than
he is.
The National Collegiate Ath-
letic Association, to advocate full
TV coverage of all football games
next fall.
The National Association of
Radio and Television Broadcasters
TO urge the granting of precious
televtsion licenses to educators.
Red Skelton, to take it easy,
remembering we can't afford to
lose him.
Jack Benny, to face the fact
that he can be funny for lot
more people if he will be funny
for the TV camera instead of the
studio audience.
Ken Murray, to give up cigars
and beautiful girls.
Kate Smith, to stop introduc-
ing Ted Collins as if he were
the final authority. the man with
the only authentic word on poll
tics, world affairs and the other
news of life.
NBC-TV, to restore "Kulka,
Fran and Ollie" to a half-hour,
put Heritage" back on the air,
and find proper spots for ''The
Goldbergs." Victor Borge and Con-
ME Russell.
CBS-TV, to dig up the right
show for Sam LevenSon and to
never again tamper with "Mr.
I. Imagination"
All network program directors,
to give viewers a break by stop
ping this nonsense of splitting
audiences by scheduling similar
shows in direct opposition.
This columnist, to let Milton
Berle's popularity wane of it's own
momentum, without heralding
every tenth-of-a-point drop in the
ratings as the clear victory it