Evening star., 1952-12-03
Modern
Marriage
Keep Your Home
Intact if at All
Possible
washington. d. G.
WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 3, 1889
By Dr.. Paul Popenoe

Once a home is established. 1t
Is not wise to abandon it be-
cause of a temporary Interrupt
ton of routine, such as military
service for the husband. This
often has to be done. but it should
be avoided whenever possible
for number Of good reasons.
Many women are troubled by
this problem. but few are as well
situated as Mrs. st. P, who would
not be too badly off whether she
maintained her home or moved
back to her parents. She writes:
MY husband will be leaving
with the Reserves around the
first of the year and my parents
think I should move back home
with them and keep house for
them while they both work. BY
doing this I will have my allot-
ment to save or spend as ] please.
Looking at the other side of
the picture, I already have a
home, a job and a year-old baby.
A good woman takes care of the
child while I work. The reason
for my working outside my home
Is to clear up all our bills and
get little backlog before my
husband leaves. We have nice
four-room apartment, our own
furniture and extremely reason
able rent. If we can clean up
all the outstanding bills that have
set us back Gncluding some still
carried over from the birth OF
the baby before my husband
leaves, I'm sure 1 can live on my
allotment. keep my job and stay
here among my friends. Do you
think it is a mistake for me to
want to do this?"
If you really want to stay
where you are, Mrs. P, and your
husband agrees, think you could
make a go of it. This plan has a
number of distinct advantages,
foremost of which are that your
husband maintains his pride of
possession in his home, your
things are kept together and it
is a sentimental base of opera
tions. 1 am sure he would look
forward with greater eagerness to
coming home to his own place
than having only your parents
house to look forward to. In gen.
eral, it is wiser for married chill
dren to maintain their independ-
ence, even under adverse circum-
stances, than to fall back on papa
and mama. After all, the new
home is the real foundation of
a life together that may last 30,
40 or even more years.
In your case. Mrs. ST. P, going
to your parents home does not
seem to be as much of a disad-
vantage as it might be- You
could, under those circumstances
take care of your baby yourself,
which is highly desirable and
outweighs the financial element.
On the other hand, you could end
up as merely your parents house
keeper, doing things their way,
not yours. So, I advise keeping
your own home. but am happy
that if it doesn't work out you
have another choice that is not
altogether unsatisfactory.
I am printing your letter be-
cause the problem affects so
many wives these days. Because
1t is often weeks before an an
sWer can be published in this col
umn, I urge my correspondents
to send their full names and ad-
dresses when they write. will
never betray their identity and
will answer every letter promptly.
AS I can use in this column only
a very few of the letters I re-
ceive, I have to select those of
most general interest. Many per-
sonal problems of great impor-
tance are sent to me, without full
name and address, and could
give the writer real and immedi-
ate help If I could reach him.