The Catholic times. [volume] (Columbus, Ohio) 1951-current, 1952-04-18
Just Among Ourselves
Passing Comment Considered or lneonsidsrsts

York, somewhat Snooty, sometimes toplotty, often
sordid magazine. An adjective frequently used TO
describe it is Sophisticated" Now, sophisticated"
(Which ought to mean experienced" made
Wise) conveys the notion of something smart
alecky superficial opnionated, sefimportant, and
sharp toned The word is well chosen to describe
the magazine of which we speak
The paper is, none the less, frequently enter
tanning and in many features enjoyable. One
quickly tires to be sure of its dead level of subty
sneering comment usually more Sneerlng than
sube), and of the "smarty satirc style of its reg
ular contributors. My what sarcastic things they
can say But there is pleasure to be had in the fun
they make of msprint in some other publication,
Of an unfortunate phrase that escaped the poised
pencil of other editors
Readers look at one another and, in mild sur
mise, inquire Where do they find all these bonerS
nonsequiturs and purple patches The staff must be
remarkably alert, perhaps subscribers are on the
watch for such things and send them in for COM
ment" The sophisticated magazine is ever ready
with comment. Dear me! what Kidding remarks
what devastating dicta, what laconic lacerations
what uproarous retorts the editors do deal OUT 1t
seems sometimes as though these people take great
deal of trouble about very little thing; 1t is as
though they the sort of persons who would not
use rake 10 remove bit OF debris from
grassy lawn; no. they would explode demolition
bomb-one of the larger kind meant Tor removing
7Ai'A
Well as has been said the bombs make an
entertaining noise. But the point we wish to make
here is this: that the busy bombers might take
look at the advertising columns OF their own paper
once in a while. If the Stiffness the bombast, and
the veritable pools of purple that appear there,
week after week, to show in other papers or
magazines, the din of demolition would be deafen
ing. For you must know that the darling OF the
caustc commentator of this sophisticated magazine
of which speak, is ridiculous expression Sonorous
yet meaningless sentences, hightoned nonsense ut
tered with an air of superiority To our smartiy
satircal magazine with its writer's who smile with
snarl, we cry, Look homeward, angel"
Here is no special pleading We open a random
copy of the magazine, taking the ads as they come.
The very first offers product to give you "a touch
of luxury every day of your life in white and
twelve heavenly colors" What is this dainty delight
with the celestial hues? A bath towel.
The very next ad exclaims in delight, "They make
such beautiful mileage together :" What? Rail
road trains and table linens! This special brand OF
table drapery is "gleaming-fresh and longwearing
through repeated iaunderings at home as we'll as
en- route" Savor that final phrase; ii lends super
ior touch to the sentence. And yet how silly 1t is!
Who ever heard of launderings en- route? Who has
noticed, in the fast and fashionable trains, the
laundry-coach putting table napery through those
and longlasting qualities?
Next at a swank Fifth Avenue shop, we find that
"The pale suit springs up!' 1.-THE lady, with eyes
still wide in surprise because OF the pale suits
spring leans a right hand against misty back
ground of movie films depicting pale suits spring
ing while her left hand in graceful gesture extend
ed seems TO indicate the way the nearst subway,
or perhaps to the entrance of the pale suit store
And now (next ad, skipping none at alb we have
something "lighthearted warmly rapturous
that clings to you so exetingly, speaking softly
joyously of love and happiness ahead! What is this
lght-hearted, rapturous, softspoken delight? Per
fumery. Special brand of course. Accept no Substi-
tutes. Ours is milder.
The next ad tells us that certain person with
French name (say Yvonne, for instance) has been
long loving caterer to sleepers." This does not
mean that Yvonne (or Yvette or GigD keeps an all
night lunch-room and rushes, with affectionate
zeal buns and milk to the bedside of clients. No,
her loving catering consists In tailoring paJamaS
or nghtgowns. Her most recent land therefore besD
offering is rayon and acetate dream coat with
handmade buttonholes, hanky pocket and side
Sits" And all for S5.95 Oh saccharinty oh, sweet
ness sublime dream coat with hdrlty pocket!
Next in line is the ad which says flatly that
America Lives in Suchandsuch Suits" Actually
of obvious fact. Further America tours the world
in the suit you know what kindD that even looks
expensive in its passport picture" Despite the mis-
placing of the word even, understand the
meaning of that statement IL means that the swank,
the sophisticated thing TO do is to look expensive.
This is the end and aim of human life.
And now skipping about a little, we have
patio coat (by no means to be confused with
dream coat of dotted Swiss, fresh as an apple bios
som, floating over a matching petticoat" Anyone
familiar with the habits of apple blossoms will at
once recall their inyariable custom of floating
matching pettcoats. And here is "a coating of lush
depth and whipped surface in versatile La Balbo
design Nice eh? And finally (ah, bathos) come
to a product always perfect consistent in
quality !. clean clear :" Can it be? Yes it
II u.s. believe il or not, right here in the very
heart of sophsticaton, nothing other than plain old
unsophisticated beer
II editors would study the ads in their own
little magazine, and then turn the copa Of their
coy, csnstc, cynical comment what . time they'd
kaunF uf1Gf ~lxwl