Evening star., 1952-12-16
Star Gets a TunefuI Ribbing
In Centennial Boardroon1 Skit

No newspaper could have lasted
100 years doing business as they
did it in ''Boardroom Ballads" last
night.
That was the light hearted
singing show staged by Star peo-
pie for Star people at the centen-
nial anniversary dinner in the
Hotel Statler. And like most news
paper people, they kidded each
other from curtain to curtain.
The ribbing started as soon as
Rudolph Kaufman II, acting as
temporary chairman, called The
Star directors together in then
board roOm-Setting of the entire
show. Noting an absence of some
of the elder members. the junior
members of the board took over
and proceeded to hear reports ot
department heads.
I. William Hill, the news editor
was venting his troubles when
there appeared behind him the
ghost of Crosby Stuart Noyes, one
OF the early editors, complete with
flowing WhiSkerS.
Blues Style Advice.
He had some advice on how to
keep a good neWSman on the pay
roll, and to the tune of "a Good
Man is Hard to Find" sang in a
blues style belying his years this
concluding admonition:
Listen to me Tribble (City Editor
EdtUin Trib6leJ, heed this
call
Let him come in late every
morning, pay him Overtime
every night
GiUe him t1Do days of in sue
ceSSion-treat him right
Because q good man, NOWADAYS,
is hard to find.
De-Whiskered, the apparition
proved to be Reporter Crosby S.
Noyes, great-grandson of the old
editor.
Promotion Explained in Song.
Rapping for order, the chair
man made way for William E.
Coyle, the promotion manager,
who, to the tune of That's the
Story of Love-" suggested:
You must attack O. Lttle-de-
tend a little
You're eUen got to spend a
little
That's the story ot-that'S the
glory Of
Promotion.
In true promotion style, Assist
ant Promotion Manager Theodore
N. Mcdowell chimed in between
snatches of the song with a
huckster chant.
The composing room was hav-
ing its problems, too-demands
from the news department for
later headlines and from the cir
culation department for earlier
headlines. Or so the production
manager, Willmott Lewis, jr.,
reported to the board.
HOlbrook's Gang Hailed.
Calamity, Temporary Chair
man Kaufman put down his
gavel, stepped to the microphoneI
and hailed Charlie Holbrook's
Gang"-the composing room fore
man and his printers-to the tune
of 'MacNamara's Band" In roll
licking fashion, he sang:
oh his name is Charlie Hol-
brook, he's the leader of the
gang
The subject OF the finest song
that any one eUer sang
How they get the paper out
remains a mystery,
But the EDening Star COM
posing room is quite sight
to see.
The ditty included the names
Of SO printers. A typical verse:
oh there's Venable, Verdi.
ValdeS, VogeI, Ficco, Fike
and Fritz
There's Shdmlefer, ObermGn,
Bieber and Zeints, not to
mention MoScoWitz-
There's Keeler and Kelly,
Cotter and Kramp, Kinmel
and Kirby and CleGUer
There's Casey and CuStdrd,
Carroll and Kerr, WGple
and Wilt and Weaver.
FOndles Plump Edition.
If he had any complaints. Ad-
vertising Manager Godfrey Kauff-
mann didn't betray them as he
left the directors table to make
his report.
Whats wrong with this paper?"
he asked, cuddling a plump edi-
tion of The Star in his arms. Then
t. the tune of THE Way You
Look Tonight" he began to sing
to it, tenderly:
SonnedGy, iDhen I'm aDfully loD,
And it's hard to grin,
/ aDiI feel glolD Just thinking
of you-
And the tDdy you look tonight.
Mr.. Kaufman was saying he
was well pleased with f1awless
customer relations when in burst
a wild, red-headed individual
with clothing askew.
A customer, he said he was, and
he wanted to know why he had
SO much trouble getting ad
proofs until after the paper was
published. He had other COM
plants. too. but he concluded his