Evening star., 1952-07-13

f1ne arts. music, even such mascu-
line tasks as furniture finishing,
papering, painting, carpentry, etc.
My husband is not talented at all.
He enjoys relaxing, sleeping and
arguing. He Is very poor as a man
around the house as he never
seeks perfection in anything.
Perhaps I contribute something
to our constant arguing as I am
quick tempered. The tension led
to severe breakdown of my ner-
vous system, which has been re-
peated twice. With each illness
my husbands treatment has be-
come worse. He has no patience
at all when ! am sick. Occasion
ally. however. he goes into burst
of overwhelming consideration,
but soon reverts to his usual nag
ging. quarrelsome self. We can't
maintain peace long enough to
have friends visit us.
At present I am recovering from
my last illness and wonder how
long I can stand this kind Of life.
&C. M.
ANSWER: Well. lady. my ques-
ton is how long can your hus-
band stand it? It's about time he
had a nervous breakdown, too.
and when it comes it should be a
beauty. Your plethora of talent
has made you so overbearingly
conceited and self-sufiicient that
only q paragon Of angels could live
up to your expectations. You have
lthwarted your husband in every
masculine prerogative. then you
expect him to sit down meekly
while you proceed to run every
thing and criticize his shortcom.
ings.
You usurped his right, as head
of the house. to run its finances.
The excuse you give for doing so is
fiimsy. You refuse to have q child
because Of financial conditions
though you could afford to buy q
house. II your parents were will
ing to offer assistance in that pur-
chase, surely they wouldn't have
been less generous in the case of q
baby. A woman Of your capability
should have no trouble in financ-
ing . child-thouSands Of women
with far less money than you can
do 1t.
There is no reason why your
household can't be peacefully
maintained. but it is you who will
have to do most Of the reforming
not your husband.
It's fine thing. indeed, for a
woman to be as gifted as you, but
when accomplishments are con-
stantly brought up as a reflection
on your husbands lack of them,
they become a grave hindrance
rather than q help to successful
marriage. Suppose your husband
isn't too handy or capable around
the house. Let him do the things
he wants to do, shut your eyes to
their imperfections and graciously
acknowledge his assistance. After
all, he wants to be more than a
pay check in his own home and
you won't give him a chance!
Stop reminding him constantly
Of your superiority and learn to
extoll his virtues. He must have
some good points, and it's a nice
idea to show appreciation Of them
occasionally. Recognize him as
head Of the household. render
more respect and admiration, and
watch the war clouds disappear.
DEAR MISS NISsEN: I am a
young wife Of IS, married six years
and have three children. NY doc
tor tells me I have only a year to
live and I cannot bring myself to
tell my husband. Should I tell
him now, and give him his free
dom so he can prepare for life
without me, or should try to keep
his happiness by withholding the
news? -E. A.
ANSWER: BY trying to carry
this terrific burden yourself, you
are doing the entire family a
grave injustice. Your husband
most certainly should know ex-
actly what your condition is and
I'm surprised that the doctor
hasn't already acquainted him
with the facts.
Perhaps you are taking a more
hopeless view Of the situation
than Is necessary. Many a person
has walked around, worked and
been most active for years after
being given the same news you
have heard. Medical skill ad-
|vances 50 rapidly today that many
conditions. once considered hope
less, respond miraculously to
treatment. Make it your immedi-
ate business to consult a special
list in your particular malady.
DEAR MISS NISSEN: Because
my mother and father are so
harsh with me, I want to leave
school and 60 to work. I am Is.
M. M.
ANSWER: Your parents are
probably strict with you because
they want to safeguard your own
health and reputation. The worst
thing you can do is leave school
and try to face q business world
with inadequate education.