The Catholic times. [volume] (Columbus, Ohio) 1951-current, 1952-12-12
Just Among Ourselves
Psssins Comment Considered or lneonsidsrsis

III d HoIHeHl we are gong 10 90 letter 10 Oantd
Claus. You are warned therefore, and may pass
rapidly on to other matters Letters in print are
usually sad things, and sadder than the sweet
little note penned painfully by Junior to induce
Santa Claus to bring him an automobile bicycle,
an arplane, house and lot, yo-yo and 100 shares
of General Motors stock But sad or merry, here
goes for necessary letter
Dear Santa Claus: You will pardon me, know,
for my long silence. This is the first letter ] have
written you since | was four or five, aid that
many and many year ago, though not III kingdom
by the If / am constrained TO snugge up to a
typewriter for the purpose of dashing off few
lines for your instruction it is not because | feel
overpowering desire for an electric refrigerator
or a Cadillac convertible, and formally petition you
to put these articles into my Christmas stocking.
Rather, it is because | must fend off certain gifts
which Judge are coming my way, gifts for which
] cannot possibly find either place in an al
ready disorderly demesne.
First of all, dear Santa Claus, if you have any
notion of rendering my Christmas Joyous by means
of plague beg you to Danish the thought at
! have not been particularly good during the
year gone by, but do not think have been much
out OF line as to deserve plaque. | have seen a
great many plaques in my time yor have also,
Santa Claus, and ] have yet to see one,-religious
or secular in theme if | may use that term to
~
/ thought a great deal less of my house than
actually do Have you any idea of what plaque is
for? Have you ever found beauty inspiration
in plaque? Has plaque ever given you lift?
am all for useless giving of course, but a
plaque has such a peonasm of uselessness about
il that il saddens and depresses II is therefore most
uniting as a gift for this happy time when every
heart is carolling and the merry sound of sleigh
bells is recalled In the ubilant jingle of the cash
register Do not bring me a plaque. Spare the
reindeer with Rudolph or Wiberforce or 0sgood
or whatever the current leaders name may be- the
wholly unnecessary burden Of plaque for your
present client.
Another thing, dear Santa Claus. of which / am
by no means in need is book. ENDS. know this may
dsappoint you but this matter | must be firm
even at the cost of considerable pain to you and to
all who wish we'll Book-ends indeed have
use and their name procaims it. But f were forced
to use book-ends they would be for me the end
of books. Therefore, beseech you, put by that
large and impressive box, and that quire of fancy
wrapping paper, and those spangly seals put away
the contaner, and set the book ends back upon the
shelf; they are not for me
have received in my time book-ends almost
without number. Some of them we're ornamented
with animals of literary taste, some with studious
Grecan ladies, sombre and sinuous who we're ap-
parently so rapt in thought that they popped into
bronze without being wrapped in much else. None
Of these has done anything for me in point of de
votion to the printed word. find cannot support
the love of literature by using book-ends
will admit however that one pair Of book
ends does constant service These are particu-
larly tall bookends made Of plaster; they represent
Notre Dame Cathedral although not with such
striking fidelity to confuse the observer and make
him lose his sense of place and time have SCI these
bookends back to back, and shored them up with
an old flatiron Thus arranged, they make
seryiceable easel for a large framed picture which
stands atop my bookcase. Lacking these book-ends,
and the fatiron, | should have had to hang this
splendid picture prosily against the wall This,
however, is the only use | have ever found for
book ends.
am running on here, Santa Claus, as | am apt
10 do carried away by my subject but not carried
forward Without more ado, therefore LET me men,
tion few other items in the any of things do not
want for Christmas | do not want lot of gazy
bound book-maches with without my name
the covers. Nor find place for pure gadgetry,
such as combination letter opener, bottle de
capper cork screw, pipe tamper and instrument for
removing clinkerS from horses hooves
Electric corn popperS while they have GER
tain superficial appeal, with their cleaning chrome
and all are somehow too elaborate and circumstan.
tial for the single light service they are intended
to render So are electric egg boilers which 90 to
great expense to perform operation that can be
as well done with little water in an old tin can
Above all Santa Claus, mark my name from the
list OF persons doomed TO receive ceramic planters"
in the shape of birds animals with hollow backs
and ivy growing out of them. That way madness
lies.
l trust Santa Claus that you viii understand
and appreciate the spirit in which this letter is
written | have no intention of merely airing grev
ances of harpng queruousy things that |
dislike My only purpose of writing all this is to
spare YOU the heavy charge of Juggling things TO
me when hang up my interviewer Socks on Christ
mas Eve. that can only be burden to the carrier
and distress to the receiver. When hear that
throaty "ho ho" with which you constantly enter
tain yourself in our local department stores should
like to find less strain and more heartiness in it.,
to this end | send you word that far as | can
arrange il your Christmas burden this year will be
lighter one.
| wish you we'll Santa Claus but dare not al
low gleeful whlmsy to formulate any light hearted
hopes for your enjoyment to a person with your
Journey and labors before you, such wishes could