Evening star., 1952-12-08
Problems
Today
Murries Soldier
In Haste; Now
Regrets 1t
By MurieI Nissen

DEAR MISS NISSEN: I am %
years old. Fifteen months ago,
met and married a soldier whom
I had known but two months.
Immediately following our mar
riage he was shipped overseas. and
has been gone since. At the time,
we were quite sure of our love but.
with the passing months. I find
the state of my affections very
uncertain.
For Jim'S sake I was willing to
await his return and talk over the
situation, but yesterday received
"a letter saying his service overseas
has been extended nine months.
During his absence, I have been
working as a stenographer. One
Iof the men in the Office has be-
come interested in me-and I in
him. Each day find it more diff
cult to turn down his requests
for dates. I feel that were I still
single, I would prefer Bob to my
husband, but I do not wish to hurt
Jim. Would 1t be wise, in your
destination, to date Bob as friend,
and not tell my husband about it?
H. P.
Answer: You have managed to
crowd into fifteen months just
about all possible mistakes of mar
riage to servicemen, and I earnest
ly hope your plight may be q
warning to other girls contemplate
ing similar marriages.
Your premarital acquaintance
with Jim certainly was not long
enough; the wedding was hasty:
Jim's sudden departure gave you
no time to make an adjustment,
so here you are in the anomalous
position of being a wife while your
husband has become a distant
shadowy figure. Certainly you
can't feel much obligation to q
man you've known only two
months. The fact, however, re-
mains that you are married and
had better begin to think like q
married woman rather than a
single girl.
The marriage contract Is q seri-
GUS and binding one; 1t is not to
be shelved for a mere whim. OF
course. 1t should not be made as
a whim, either. which is about
what you and Jim did. However,
at Fl you certainly had some idea
of the responsibilities ahead, and
should have given a little more
forethought to what should be the
most solemn act of your life.
I Now, of course, it is the present,
rather than the past, that inter-
ests you. So for what they are
worth to you, here are my con-
clusions. 1t would most definitely
not be wise to date Bob! Word
would be bound to get to Jim
through third parties and news Of
that kind comes hard, especially
when one is thousands of miles
from home. Respect your marriage
VOWS until Jim comes home, then
discuss the situation with him and
arrive at your own solution.
Going dateless for nine months
is preferable to compromising
with your own honor. You are
faced with a clear-cut case Of
right and wrong and you know
| it! You also know what the right
thing Is; don't do anything else.
Give Jim chance, don't be q de-
featist about your marriage and
it's quite likely that. when you see
your husband again, all doubts
about it will disappear. I hope so.
DEAR MISS NISSEN: I am II
and interested in boy who works
in our neighborhood drugstore.
Although have been out with him
in q crowd. and he singles me out
at q dance. he hasn't asked for
a date. He is 20 and in his second
year at college. How can I get
him to ask me for a date with
out appearing too forward?
MARY A.
Answer: Since the boy is un-
doubtedly interested in you, Mary.
can only suggest a reason or
two why he hasn't tried to date
you, and urge you to be patient.
Circumstances would indicate
that he is working his way
through college, a task that leaves
little money or time for dating.
Also, with two years Of college
ahead of him (more, In fact.
If he has a profession in view).
he probably doesn't want to be.
come interested in one partic-
ular girl. Be content with your
I