Madison County Democrat. (London, Ohio) 19??-1958, 1952-06-27
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WEDDING
When daughter was finally
dressed and marched to the
altar, mother couldn't hold
back the tears. "Oh, john,
she said to her husband,
What will it be like without
Penelope May?" The husband
put his arm about his wife and
said, soothingly, There, there.
Never mind. After all, we're
gaining bathroom
MUSIC
Preacher we heard about
has mania for fast driving
and loud singing SO it is nat
ural that he sings while he
drives. His backlog of songs
goes like this: At 35 can be
heard his nasal tenor render
ing Onward Christian Sold
iers"; as mph and Heaven Is
My Home; he sings Lord,
I'm Coming Home" at SIS; at
65 can be heard Nearer My
God To Thee; when the need
lie hits IS he really lets go
with when the Roll Is Called
Up Yonder"; and at as, If
you can still hear him at all,
he'll burst into Jesus Loves
Me-"
PoLLYTIcks
What he would like to see,
no matter who gets elected
President of the United States.
is an EXECUTIVE Vice Presi-
dent! We are a little tired
hearing about "Veeps' and
their meanderings. What we
need is a vice president SINH
lar to one in industry s. one
who really WORKS at his job!
H,ccuPs
Now comes a new cure for
hiccups. If you are plagued by
such at any time, our inform
ant tells us, merely press on
your eyeballs until they pain
a little. Fellow who told US
says 1t really works. Try it
next time.
CRISIS
There are over 5000 strip
teasers out of work, says a
N. Y. bulletin. Now this
doesn't impress us much since
we think that there must be
about a million of 'em who
have never had a job in the
first place!
THIEF
A bad guy passed a bad
check down in Georgia. When
the grocer who had cashed 1t
got it back he noted that the
SIGNATURE was ~. r.
Swindled"!
MiDGETS
Friends, relatives and fans
are turning out in droves to
watch the small Babe Ruths
and Lefty Groves play Little
League baseball. Personally,
we enjoy it as much as If we
were watching New York play
Cleveland. Games start at six
pm. Schedule appears in our
papers each week. Come on
down!
OPINION
1t could be said that tele-
vision is built on a beer foun-
dation what with all the pro-
grams being sponsored by
brewers. Right now the WTCU
and other groups are opposing
beer advertisement and there
is a bill pending in the House.
From where we sit, 1t looks
like a case of mo beer. no
television!"
SHORTAGE
Young married couple went
to a real estate agent and In
auired for a little place to
rent. Agent said there weren't
any and suggested that the
couple live with the brides
parents until something turn
ed UP. Young husband said !. /.
WED like to but, you see,
THEY are still living with
THEIR parents!'
NATURE
Thing about people that baf-
files us can well be illustrated
in this situation =. mans
wife is seriously i'll and the
doctor is called in. The man
tells the doctor that he will do
anything, pay anything If the
doc can save the wife. Wife
RECEIVERS and man receives bill
for doctors services. M a n
thinks to himself that wife
would probably have recover
ed anyway. Man refuses to
pay bill and tells friends that
the doctor is nothing but a
low-down robber and quackl
People are funny that way.
HEYWooD
Haywood Snugg says that,
in his book, ninety percent of
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