Evening star., 1952-06-10
Problems
Today
Mother Predicts
Unhappy Future
If Girl Murries
By MurieI Nissen

DEAR MISS NISSEN: Why
should a mother deliberately try
to discourage a daughters mar
riage by continual belittling re-
marks? She likes my fiance, but
harps on the fact that marriage
isn't what one expects, that I'll
be sorry I ever married, that it's
a humdrum life of household
etc. When we are mar
ried in July. we plan to live with
my in-laws, since my flance is the
only child. Mother says this ar
will never work. that
while my future mother-in-law
may be fine to me now, she'll
change completely after the we'd
ding day.
I am becoming almost afraid Of
marriage. Is my mother right in
any of her contentious. or is there
a good chance of our being happy?
M. D.
ANSWER: Mothers doleful
predictions are just the disgruntled
means of embittered middle-age.
Having exceeded her own youth
and doubtless having muffed most
of it's opportunities for happiness
it irks her to see anyone. even her
own daughter, enjoying bliSsful
romance. There is no reason why
two people who love and believe in
each other can't create a happy
marriage-as shown by the fact
that it's done every day!
On one point Mother Is right. II
it's at all feasible, you'll be much
better of setting up your own
establishment from the beginning
|of married life than starting of
with in-laws. Seldom does dou-
BILE household arrangement work
out to everyone's satisfaction.
Rather than risk the ultimate
chance of in-law friction due to
too-close association. set UP your
own household.
I foresee enough trouble with
your own mother: don't take any
chances on difficulty with the
other set of in-laws.
If your future mother-in-law IS
good to you now, and you reclpro-
cate her kindness with love and
consideration, there is little chance
of problems arising from this
source.
Don't carry your mothers pes
simism into your new life; let her
know that you are not to be in
fluenced by her disparagement OF
matrimony. Perhaps you can be
little Crusader and show. by your
own happiness and well-belng,
that married life is not the thorny
path Nom pictures.
DEAR MURIEL NISSEN: Some
years ago ! married a divorced
man. I Immediately took out life
insurance naming him beneficiary.
Il asked him about his insurance.
and he said he had some but his
first wife was still beneficiary. 1
have asked him many times to
change it, but although he prom
Iises to attend to it some time
he never has. Is this fair to me?
Z. E.
ANSWER: You are being
treated most unfairly and should
Icertainly insist on an immediate
change in your husbands policy.
His divorced wife has no claim
Ito this protection. You were over
jealous in taking insurance your
self. That, toe. is your husbands
responsibility.
DEAR MISS NISSEN: For three
years I have been going with a
boy. Last year he gave me a ring.
I love him very much, and want
to marry him, but lately he has
been talking and acting in such
way that I am beginning to
think he's changed his mind about
me and doesn't care any more.
I am 10, he is 20. How can I be
sure of his feelings?
JAMIE
ANSWER: Since you have so
much ground to doubt his love.
the best thing for you to do is
ask him outright If he wants the
ring back. You began going steady
with him at much too early an
age and, if he has tired of the
situation, it's not unnatural. You
may feel that your heart will be
eternally broken if the engage
ment ends. but believe me. jamie.
it won't. A much nicer young man
will come along soon. and you'll
be happier all around.