Evening star., 1951-03-15
Second-PIoce Essay: A EuIogy for Barbara

walked to the hospital 1t was
large and sprawling and we didn't
know which building to turn to first.
We stood helplessly in the middle
Of the long cement path, and thu
four of US must have presented
sorry sight, our hair disheveled py
the wind, our coats blowing out
behind us and look of worry and
excitement on our faces. A nurse,
coming up the walk pointed out the
building We wanted but added
hastily, you can't go up there"
We nodded and smiled agreeably
waiting until she was out of sight
behind another building before con-
tinuing on our way.
We went into the hallway, blink
ing our eyes to accuStom them to the
dimness and looked around. There
was no one in sight. The hall was
empty and, except for the strong
smell Of antiSeptic which hung thick
in the air. it seemed like any other
building at any other time We saw
stairs to the side and small sign
which told us the isolation ward was
on the second floor. The elevator
looked inviting to our tired feet, but
we DIDN'T dare, for there was always
the chance Of being caught and sent
out of the building. We trudged up
to the second floor and down 1ong
corridor.
Lois said, "She's in 203." None of
us ever questioned how Lois knew
the room number. We didn't say a
word, When we got within a few
feet Of the door and heard a move
ment inside, we were afraid to go
on. We were afraid to see Barbara,
how she looked and what condition
she was in. None of us said word
but the same thoughts, I am sure,
went through the minds of all of us.
Lois caught at my sleeve and pulled
me on.
Come on she whispered We've
come all the way for this. You don't
want to turn back now"
She and l stepped in front of the
door while the others stood several
yards down the hall and looked in
the small window so typical of an
isolation ward
An iron lung stood against one
wall and We caught sight of Bar
bara's mass Of dark hair. There
was a nurse feeding her through her
nose.
I wanted to knock on the window
and gain the nurses attention
thinking she might be liberal enough
to let us catch a glimpse of Bar
bara, but as my hand moved up
ward, a nurse came walking down
the corridor, her fiat heels making
"a series of soft thuds on the linoleum
floor. She was furious with anger,
and she sent us out of the building
following us all the way to the door,
making sure we would not re-enter.
AS we passed under Barbara S
window, her nurse called softly to
us and asked if we were her friends.
To our affirmative answers, she
told us to stand a few feet back from
the building and she would hold a
mirror in front of Barbara so that
she could see us. She was very
kind.
We stood for a few seconds and
then Marlene called: Does she
recognize us?"
The nurse disappeared and then
returned. "Question'' was all she
answered, letting us interpret it in
our own way. Soon she was pack
again and said, Barbara thanks you
for coming" That was all. She
closed the window. And the five of
us stood silently, unmoving, feeling
helpless ana young and ignorant.
Marlene pushed at a stone with
the toe of her shoe, and I saw there
were tears in her eyes. We moved
back to the car, dragging our feet,
and Lois and I told the others
what we had seen.
That day we stood in the bright
and yet cold sunshine, with so many