The Key West citizen. [volume] (Key West, Fla.) 1879-current, 1951-06-27
The
SouthernmoSt
Corner
BY
Cherries Duerkes

truly has been boning up on the
latest test tube miracles.
1t has been my hope that Sci
ence, which has whomped up a
cure for practically every known
Ill and is at present working out
defenSes against scientific ways to
wipe out entire communities in
one swell foop. well, it has long
been my hope that Science would
perfect just one little old two bit
pill that would prevent hangovers.
Such a pill would not only be a
boon TO mankind but to a goodly
percentage of womankind as well.
My recent research has unearth-
ed no such pill.
Instead I learned that the heat
of the sun, as it reaches our hang
over bedeviled planet, has increas-
ed one fourth of one percent dur
ing the past twenty years.
Researchers at Marquette Uni
versity's medical school have dis
covered a cheap and unlimited
source of blood plasma. Up until
this substitute was perfected it
required whole human blood to
produce plasma Okra, the guInbo
in the chicken gumbo soup. is the
substitute and authorities avow it
is better than the original
But no pill
A medical authority announces
that people who reach and pass
that much discussed forty year
mark will do well to consume
three ounces of alcoholic bever-
age a day. Whiskey. 1t is, he
states, a sure fire method to pre-
vent hardening of the arteries.
Well now, / just happen to
dread having my arteries harden.
l have been taking quadruple
measures to prevent such harden
ing. Might as well be sure and
back up the three ounces with a
few extra ounces of prevention.
After Forty, (and that / ann an.
other bit of research reveals, q
fellow should sleep less but rest
more. And a DR.. Williams, of Dali
las, claims it is far better to
slump and SLOUGH bit than to
90 throwing out your chest and
sitting up straight as a ramrod
in your chair. 1t is not a good
idea, he AYERS, to lead with your
belly, standing OF walking.
And it seems that flies are be.
coming resistant to our sprays. A
return to the old fly swatter is in
dictated. 6t -
Scientists have rugged up a con-
traption with which they can mea-
sure the distance between atoms
to an accuracy OF ll00th Of a mil
lionth of an inch.
The twilight glow of early
morning and evening, it has been
found, is due to comet dust. In
teresting but no help to either a
morning or evening hangover.
A letter from a young lady up
in Ottawa, Canada, contained a
scientific gem that caused me to
choke on my hardening -of-the-
artery preventative, She wrote, in
closing, that she was about to
close and take her bath pill. This
pill, she writes, is a gelatine cap
sule called a Bathette, which you
swallow before stepping into the
bath, This caper perfumes your
bath! Some Canadian Caper, cou-
sins!
1t doubtless prevents a ring a.
round the tub, as we'll
But a pill to prevent hangovers2
Huh.
The Mating Call of the female
mosquito is now being used as
bait to kill off boy mosquitoes.
Science has been able TO record
this plaintive call, which the hu-
man ear cannot hear, and play it
back behind an electrically charg-
ed screen. The male mosquitoes
swarm madly forth in answer to
the seductive song of the siren
and smack into the charged
screen. The Lorelie song of the
lady mosquitoe also attracts bat,
frogs and dragonflies who consider
girl mosquitoes a tasty snack. The
bats and dragonflies, however, do
not zoom close enough 10 the
screen to get a charge out of it.
They are not that bats.
Scientists have not yet come UP
with a logical explanation as to
why the SUN turned blue last Oc-
tober, or why the moon did like
wise. Everybody has a different
answer. And the link between GER
tain emotions and pains in the
human heart has not yet been
established and the greatest minds
have never been able to figure
out why II Vains4c nanes and fell
ines just as soon as you finish
washing and polishing the family
jalopy
Well, anticipation is greater
than realization. so it will be great
fun to go on anticipating the day
when can say: Guess I'll have
me a little old Pill to prevent that
hangover that might hit me. since
| have decided it is time to take
a few ounces Of hardening Of the
arteries preventative and after