The coastland times. [volume] (Mnateo [i.e. Manteo], N.C.) 1947-1959, 1951-11-16
IT Taxes
ALI KINDS
By DAVE WEsT

BY DAVE WEST
Association of ideas is a Won
derful thing, but unless one is
Sherlock Holmes he ought not to
stretch its usefulness. We've heard
about a grade school pupil who
answered the question why was
the second colony on Roanoke Is
land called the Lost Colony?" with
these inspired words: Because
there were two Indians who found
it in 1887. One of them settled at
Manteo, the other at Wanchese."
A high school class had a les
son in straight thinking. One of
the girls in the class was mulling
over an exercise, part of which
read like this: Neither Sarah's
mother nor her father have any
brothers or sisters. Sarah has
cousin named Nancy" The sec
ond statement was to be labeled
true, false or uncertain. AS the
miss cogitated during a study per-
iod, the proposition began to whirl
in her mind. At last she went to
the study hall teacher with this
question: "If my mother and daddy
have no brothers and sisters, does
that moan that | can't have any
young ones?"
Christmas grows zanier, and so
do the things advertisers seem
to expect that our gentler citizens
will wear. We saw in a special
Christmas catalogue for mail
order company the following item:
"A-glitter with rhinestones!-Oh-
so-feminine! Matching bra or Gar
ter Belt. 81 each =" Of course
one can't believe in it, but it was
pleasant to think of a list of pen
sons one would like to send such
a gift for Christmas (if it could be
done anonymously and untracea-
bly). Ones maiden aunt ones
first Sunday School teacher =
Gorgeous George e. the waitress
who always spilled coffee into the
saucers the mayor of the
town one grew up in ;. It'd cost
a lot of money though, considering
that one could hardly hope to be
on the scene when the packages
were opened.
For sheer insanity, how about
this gift offered in the same cata-
logue? Singing bird in a cage,
imported from Germany Bird
is very lifelike in appearance and
has colorful natural feathers. Its
trilling canary-like song is clear
and melodious to charm all
who hear it Three-way switch
for continuous singing, intermit-
tent singing and off. SIS, plus ex-
press charges from New York"
-. One for da boids!
A good, honest job of reporting
is John Gunther's "The Riddle of
Macarthur" when we got it
from the Bookmobile a couple of
weeks ago we were startled to
see that only one person had
checked the book out before us.
Both Gunther and Macarthur de-
serve more attention than that.)
The book has the big advantage of
having been written before the
furore over MacAarthur's dismiss
al and so can be international
without being suspected of plead
ing for either side in THAT loud
controversy. It may strengthen Ell
ther a preconceived respect or dis
respect for the onetime american
Emperor of Japan" Gunther is
neither worshipper nor a de-
tractor of his subject; and, what
ever ones opinion of Big Mac, the
author will convince him, we think,
that we've never had a man in
American history who was cut
from quite the same bolt of cloth
as this greatly admired and great
ly detested general.
The New York Times story re-
porting that Truman had offered
to support Eisenhower for the
Democratic nomination next year,
followed by prompt, fiat denials
from the White House and Eisen-
hower's Paris headquarters, illus
trates as well as anything else
that our boast that we are "the
best-informed people in the world"
needs little amendment. We may
well be- the best-informed people
on this confused planet (for surely
the competition is not toughD,
but there can'tbe any doubt that
we are the MOST informed. We
get all kinds of information pur-
porting to be the straight goods on
all kinds of questions. Our chief