The Key West citizen. [volume] (Key West, Fla.) 1879-current, 1951-06-02
The
.Southernmost
Corner
BY
Charles Duerkes


p WHAT with all the investga-
tions, grand jury probings and
teleVision donnybrooks anent The
gambling business, l deem it my
duty to whOmp up a few para
graphs on the subject inasmuch
IS other lads who write columns
have been thoughtful enough to
express their opinions, pro, con
and otherwise. Not wishing to be
tabled an old copy cat, (and l
especially frown upon the word
'old"D | will have to work with
cold deck to keep my chips
from falling into the pro, con or
otherwise bracket. II is indeed a
better than forty to one shot, track
odds, that the cry Tilt" will
boom through the corridors be-
fore | can take a cut for the
lights and | am sorry l started
the whole thing.
But the chips are down, as the
saying goes, and if / say anything
to hurt anyone's feelings, believe
I'me.
/ When hearts are trump, man
plays for love No! That viii
never dot People will go around
and about the land proclaiming
that Cousin Chazz avows love is
a gamble and the next thing you
know | viii be investigated by
Lonely Hearts clubs and be in
dutch with marriage license
bureaus and justices of the peace,
and the way things are these days
a chap cannot afford to be in
dutch with UPS.
When l was fourteen l worked
for a man who was reckoned
about the smartest poker player
who ever filled an inside straight.
Once, during an all night session,
twas reported that he won a
bakery from a baker who had
little luck and less dough. Oddly
enough, four years later l worked
for the baker during a summer
vacation. My vacation not his.
Getting back TO the gambler,
since this episode does not con-
Germ the bakery business, al
though you must admit that a
half loaf is better than a slap in
the kisser with a dull Blade, |
asked the gambler to give me the
lowdown on gambling and to in
struct me in the intrieacies of
poker. Not that / cared to win a
bakery but | did have an eye on
an auto agency that handled
StutZ Bearcats or Dusenbergs, or
something, and on my fourteen
CLAIMS a week / did not even have
the down payment on raccoon
coat. So he said to me, and |
quote: Il will not teach : you to
play poker but | viii reveal to
you the first, and most important
law of gambling. Very few people
know it,"
l was all ears. Those ears have
been knocked back several times
since that day, but not by gam
bling men.
The first law of gambling"
the man said, lis this; if you can't
afford to lose, you can't afford to
win"
Following that rule has saved
me considerable grief, to be sure,
The times I've gambled, when |
could afford TO lose, / lost
In a wierd fashion | developed
magic touch in betting. with
reverse English. Anything or any
body / would bet on would lose.
You could have put your post
man, favorite barber or mother
in-law in the same ring with
Dempsey and Tunney, back in
the old days, with one arm tied
behind your .entry's seventh
lombar. and if / pumped my
rubles on Jacy and Gene to win,
your kid would have put both
boys away in the first stanza.
In the case of your mother-in-
law I'd have been betting with
scared money anyhow.
1t got SO that when was root
ing for a team, as in baseball,
football, etcetera, | did not dare
bet on that team. A sure way for
people to win bets, back in the
days when ! could afford to lose
and would go hog wild and wager
deuce now and anon, was for
them to bet against my choice.
How come Notre Dame toppled
last season? What about the
Army-Navy game? Remember
some of the other upsets? Yep.
That was@Tne. betting on the
Irish, the Army and all the other
flusers. You have doubtless noted
the comeback the Giants have
been making since / haven't been
able to afford wagering two bits
] a game on their prowess.
| feel that ! should have pay
off coming from somewhere.
In horse racing, a horse is the
only one who can win in the long
r.tr. 0nca at Hialeah. my re-