Evening star., 1950-03-17
By HaI Bowie
FT TUT UUTFe
Asseeiatsd Press Foreign Correspondent

Asseeioisd Press Foreign Correspondent
NEW YORK.-An open letter to
all Americans whose mothers
didn't come from Ireland:
My friends, you are non Irish
and this is great day for the
nom Irish!
1t is q great day for you to buy
your groceries the previous night,
lock your doors and stay in your
homes. That way you won't have
TO deal with the problem Of what
10 do II you meet an Irishman.
And that Is . good problem to
avoid, because no Irishman today
is an innocent bystander. Every
1rishman Is q moon-mad son of
the kings Of an old and wronged
land. He is In no mood to be
trifled with.
It's Erin Go Bragh.
This is the day he honors st.
Patrick. that great and learned
man and all America is just one
big Irish stew. Yes, It's Erin Go
Bragh" everywhere-from the po-
tato-logged coast of Maine to
the colleen-covered shores of
Hollywood, where 16 film studios
have crowned 16 different un-
known starlets as Miss Sham
rock of 1880"
Long ago, my friends, most of
the Nation decided it was simpler,
on this day. to say they were Irish
even II they weren't. 1t saved
long -winded explanations. And
arguments that started out, well,
why aren't you an Irishman? I
am"
A survey I made this year indi-
Gates that today. out of our popu-
lation of $50 million, some 145
million will claim to be Irish-by
birth, by ancestry, by perjury, or
by default.
Odds Against Nom Irish.
This leaves only 5000, 900 of you
non-Irish. And that's why it's a
good idea to stay indoors-the
odds are 20 to / against you.
But II you must 90 outside,
friends, here are q few simple
rules On how to treat any Irish
man you encounter:
%. Remember, he Is moved IN
this hour Of glory by q sense of
ancient oppression, q pride in his
clan too big for his heart to hold,
and an old wrath. Therefore he
Is touchy and quick to anger. Also,
he Is riden by leprechauns. There
fore he may do things poetical
or foolish.
For st. Patrick's Day isn't just
q holiday to an Irishman. It is
Armistice Day. Pay Day, Fourth of
July. q bit Of Easter, maybe a
touch Of April Fools Day-these
and something more. In one day
he must live anew the mystic,
troubled story Of the Emerald Isle.
He must 60 from an elf-haunted
forest through q peat bog to a
small stony farm. suffer long pov-
erty. and cross many lost battle
fields to victory, a cathedral
and peace. It Is a time when he
rededicates himself, worships, re-
5oices, sorrows over his distant
dead, feasts, and asks, What
next?" In short, 1t is a time to be
an Irishman.
BegOrra Is Password.
90. The password, if you meet
this Irishman, is a smiling Be
gorra." Say it and go on. But
don't make a mistake !. and say
"gomorrah." You won't be able
to go on.
90. Don't greet him with a
"Top O. the morning." That's
what he Is determined TO say to
you. and II you say 1t first all he
can say is "Howdy." Irishmen
don't like to say 'Howdy" on st.
Pats Day.
-. II you want to give him a
good wish straight from the auld
sod. say-"May the road rise with
you and the wind be always be-
hind you" Or. May the devil
fly off with your worries, and for
ever and ever God bless you"
60. Should you chance to drop
into a bar to purchase your
mother-in-law basin of beer.
don't offer to buy an Irishman a
drink. Buy him q bottle-and
you 60 home.
90. II you see two Irishmen
discussing . subject with four
flying fists. don't stop. They
probably are mullins over why the
nix Northern Irish countries stay
with the British instead Of jotn-
ing up with Free Ireland. And It's
. good quarrel to stay out Of If
you aren't In the family.
Cd. II you see q weeping Irish
man. don't pause to find the
reason for his tears. It may be
because st. Patrick Is buried at
Downpatrick and Downpatrick is