Evening star., 1950-12-08
Pok Of Truly Loving Porents Vitol
For Healthy Personalities

SKlllS, he is DullQlng Seu.COnH-
6ence and independence.
But he is not sailing on into
space like a released balloon. He
is more like a man learning to
swim by pushing himself back
ward from a dock but holding
tightly to a rope with which he
jerks himself in at the first twinge
OF anxiety. -.
We know that the child between
l and 8 is vulnerable. terribly
vulnerable, to the attitudes of his
parents. If he is regularly shamed
for his accidents, accidents In the
general and in the sanitary sense,
he acquires a sense of shame and
unworthiness. If he is excessively
dominated he becomes defiant or
submissive. If he is constantly
warned that the parent will no
longer love him unless he behaves
differently, his whole personality
will be poisoned with uneasiness
and antagonism.
BY the age of 3 or the child
can afford to fuss less about his
independent rights and can turn
more positively to people and
ideas. He is enthusiastic about
the people he loves, the things
they do. He wants to feel like
them and do things the way they
do them. :.
This period, then, from about
3 to years, is vital in setting the
patterns for each child. Theway
in which the father and mother
get along, the feelings that each
parent has for the child will leave
a specific imprint on the child's
ideals in such matters as what
kind of a person he or she expects
to De. how he or she will make out
with his own sex, what he or she
will be looking for in marriage,
and what his or her attitudes
toward sons and daughters will be.
When we add these first three
phases of childhood together, the
all-important common denomina-
tor is. of course, the parents. good
parents, truly loving parents.
You know why I say truly low
ing? mean not only lots Of love,
but the well-rounded. easy-going
kind of love. For there are also
the lopsided varieties. =.
Have we, with all our proud in
ventiveness in taking some Of the
drudgery out of houseWork and
child care, ignored the emotional
aspects of the problem and left
even the most loving of mothers
feeling somewhat anchored. iso-
lated and bored when there is a
young child to keep her at home?
In pictures in the National Geo.
graphic Magazine and in Mar
garet Mead's motion pictures the
mothers are sitting around in .
clearing between their huts en-
joying each others company while
they weave, cook and watch the
children. Can't we try the same
idea with glamorized community
center. right in the midst Of .
shopping district. where children
are welcome and there are nursery
school teachers to help. where
mothers can spend a couple Of
hours gossiping. sewing. modelling
clay, watching style show or an
educational motion picture?
I think the most fundamental
question is: Why are so many
parents unable to enjoy their
children? We know what some Of
the causes are in individuals and
that individual psychotherapy can
be effective in certain cases. But
we have not studied the problem
from a broad public health point
of view and we have not begun to
think of broad solutions. One Of
the Investigations will be to see
what educational methods, from
nursery school through college.
can do to keep alive the delight
in children which is usually pres
ent in childhood, and to bring
the boy and girl to adulthood
with the feeling that there is no
more important, honorable and
soul satisfying job than having
and caring for children.