Evening star., 1950-01-08
Dorothy Dix
Many Mothers Are Unfair to Husbands
In Claiming Sole Rights to Children

In nothing else do women give
men such as unfair deal as they
do about their children.
So far as her children are con-
cerned the average woman is a
monopolist. She cannot bear to
share them with any one, not even
with their own father. They are
hers. She resists to the death
any one else's claim upon them.
It Is to mothers fierce sense of
possessiveness that may be at
tributed the anomalous position
so many men hold in their own
households and the. fact that
except for purposes of legitimacy
and support their children might
just as we'll be fatherless.
Most men love children and de-
sire them. They marry in order
to have them. Long before Junior
is born they have planned the
good times they will have together
and how they will teach him to
fish or hunt and how they will
chum up together.
It never crosses q mans un-
suspicious mind that some Of
these lovely dreams will never
come true because a jealous wom-
an, who is determined that the
baby shall love her best, never
gives him chance even to get ac-
quainted with his own child.
OF course. the mothers alibi is
that man doesn't know anything
about taking care Of a baby. OF
course, If mother can 60 along on
a family jaunt and still be the
dominant figure in the scene, it is
all right with her, but not other
wise. Father must be kept in his
role of bill-payer. The children
must never find out that he is
human and that 1t is lots Of fun
to go out with him.
Probably not many women con-
sciously teach their children to
regard their father as an ogre that
mother has to propitiate in their
behalf. but they hourly commit
this crime against good, kind men,
because they are determined that
their children shall look to them
for their happiness and pleasures.
When Johnny wants a new pair of
skates, or Janey Graves a new
party dress. mother doesn't say:
"Ask your father. I'm sure he
will give it to you If he possibly
can"
No. Mother makes a big dark
mystery Of it and says that she
will talk to father about it and
see If she can't persuade him to
give Johnny or Janey what they
want. And she leaves Johnny
and Janey feeling that father is
a tightwad or a crouch or a spoil
sport who doesn't care whether
they are happy or not, and it is
only mother who wants to give
them pleasure.
Worse still is the woman who
teaches her children to hate their
father by holding him as q terror
over their heads. When q child
is naughty she doesn't punish ii
herself. She wants the child to
think Of her with nothing but love
and tenderness, so she says: "I1l
tell your father when he comes
home tonight and he will give you
what's coming to you" "You
better not let your father see that
school report or you will never
get the bicycle he promised you.'
And 20 the poor little trembling
wretch breads his fathers coming
home Of an evening and grows up
with the same sort Of affection for
him We would feel for the hang
man who was about to tie the
moose around our necks.
Perhaps the women who are 50
determined to be all in all to their
children that they shut their hus-
bands out Of their children's lives
do not realize what they are doing,
but they are committing the un-
pardonable sin, for they are de-
priving the children's father of all
that makes his sacrifices worth