The Hardin tribune-herald. [volume] (Hardin, Mont.) 1925-1973, 1950-07-27

ANA little to the right of thai
bush!" The nonloseable golf bal
will soon be put on public sale. L
makes US sad. We could Away:
lose golf balls without trouble. Ir
fact we were for years high-stane
man in our club for unrecoveret
ones. It was our only golfing dis.
tinction. And now science steps ir
to make US spend more time in the
fairways!
Between six and sever mill
lion golf balls are lost every
year, the rubber company says.
Chats an understatement. The
average foursome loses that
many In one summer season.)
The radioactive golf bali will
cost NJ more, but the Geiger
counter will set you back about
SIS. This S25 will, 1t is pointed
out, keep you from losing at
lease S1O0 worth of balls.
We shall fight it with every hook
at our command. The lost golf bal
has been the backbone Of golf fol
most players. It kept conceit down
The hope of someday keeping in g
fairway lured on the duffer year
after year. And it was important ir
character tests.
. $50
Nothing gave you a better
line on a competitor than his
conduct in the rough. 1t was
then, as he thrashed in the un-
%derbrush, that you could assay
his true virtues or lack of 'em.
Here the demon in him came
out. Here his footwork revealed
the touch of larceny in him.
Here you could tell whether he
was a gentleman or a heel, man
of honor or cross-country crook.
But it a part and parcel OF
the ancient Scotch game. Down
with the radioactive golf ball!
Having one of the things in u
pocket could throw US off form
some more. We have always
longed to be a hot golfer, but
not scientifically ablaZe. Golf
instructors of America, arise!
These things will kill your bust.
ness. Where will you get any
easy dough with the buffers
having no real trouble?
Once the nonloseable golf ball /
on the links there will come thu
shot to the pin by radar, the non
swerving putt and the electroni'
backswing.
Somebody will invent a club tina
buzzes or flashes a red light whel
gripped wrong or taken back gu
of the arc. (Flash! Mr.. Elme:
Twitchell, famous scientist, engi
neer, pinochle shark and stamp col
lector, just announced that he ha'
perfected an electronic device TO-
use in locker rooms during post
mortems. 1t is a sensitive instru
ment hidden in the ceiling. Whel
any player starts lying about hi
game it whistles. Nice little gadge
to have in the home, too.)
NitaVit great is Peter DWigbt
He aIVays tries to beat The light.
SUPER Ounce is Oscar Wing:
Road signs to him DON'T mean q
thing.
Moron tall is Luther Corr:
He asks, "Wbat is bat Wbite line
for?"
Dig q bole for Wilbur KeeVes:
He doesn't drive; be simply
UeaVes.
Would your comment on the Kor
can situation be that the heels have
taken Seoul?
VANISHING AMERIcANISMS-
''T've got a job; why complaint
IT may 60 in Saturday just to hell
out" 1.-THE money isn't much, bu
I like the work"
The National Committee for Traf
fic Safety has just come out will
another one of its regular discov
cries that drunken drivers ane
high speed cause too many acct
dents. The chances that the repor
and warning will be read by thu
judges and politicians who keep tht
drunken operators in possession o
their licenses are remote.
VANISHING AMERICANISMS-
'Tf we can get 500 for the cottage
this season grab it."
Here's fifty cents; 60 see the
circus"
"Mommer, please make some ice
cream today"
"Give the dog some Of tha'
steakI"
Nobody is looking for trouble
81 haven't a worry in the world
s'What makes everything 30 peace
full"
ut looks Like q nice quiet sum
mer."