Laurel outlook., 1950-09-06
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THE SECURITY COUNCIL WAY

G.I.-Is that before this compan
in the form of an order or a rest
luton?
Captain.-It is an order!
G.I.-H I may say so at thi
time, it seems slightly irregula
in that it was not on the agend
as presented in the crap game las
Sergeant.-You heard the com
mand, bud. Forward march!
Second G.I.-May I ask for clar
ification? The word forward /
all-embracing. 1t could mean man,
miles forward or merely a few
Captain.-I must object to thi
as obstructive and as a delaying
employed for propaganda
However, if the honor
able dogface insists, I do not mine
that I use the word "for
in the unlimited sense.
Third G.I. - My delegation
wishes to know more about the
implications of the verb
march" Webster says It
means to walk. There have
been instances in Korea where
some of US have been asked to
march and after accepting this
Interpretation have found we
also were expected to take 1t
on the double.
Captain.-I submit that this
company knows very well
that the word "march" is en-
plOyed with considerable elias
ITCHY by established precedent.
i can go away back to the case
Of Ulysses S. Grant In the Bat
tie of the Wilderness. May 1 re-
mind all you gentlemen that the
situation is getting hazardous.
Several enemy shells have just
passed quite close to us here.
First G.I.-The matter of en-
envy shells is not before us at
this time. We are discussing
the item entitled Command of
forward march" and nothing
else can be given priority under
our charter.
Sergeant LAS some enemy bull
lets whiz past Hit the dirt,
va buns!
Second GIL rise to a point
Of order. The remark of the
sergeant is a typical case of an
attempt to dictate to this group.
Third GIL. Gas more shells
ONE close).-I move we seek
over.
Captain.-Do you put that as a
notion?
Third.-Yes sir.
Second GIL suggest it be put
efore this body in the form of two
lotions. Motion Number one:
hat we take cover in the immedi-
te area. Motion two: That we be
lowed to take cover anywhere
the country without restrictions
{ any kind.
Captain.-I desire again to re-
lind this company that unless we
tack We r in a position of great
azard.
First GIL submit that no posi-
on in war can be considered haz-
-dous without a two-thirds vote.
Captain.-Very well, let US pro-
led to a vote.
Second GIL must insist that
captain and first sergeant be
;cluded from voting as their right
a seat here is questioned.
Third G.I.-The hour is getting
te. 1t is now almost six o'clock
I'd we have been here since three
teen. We are all obviously very
ed. What day is it now?
Captain.-It is now Friday.
GIL suggest we adjourn
It'll next Tuesday.
Captain (wearily).-Are there any
jections.
Sergeant.-Certainly. I object.
.aptain.-On what grounds?
Sergeant.-This whole debate is
egal. MUFFIN THAT'S BEEN
I'D HAS YET BEEN INTER
aETED IN FRENCH!
Malik produced newspaper
,tures of Foster Dulles in Korea
d charged him with starting the
r."-NeWs Item.
Who's The aggressor
Through and through?
Foster Dulles 80.
I boNgbt yoH knetO!
Who's be mpader?
The ansWer's flat:
Mr.. Dulles
And HombUrg baH
is an age of speed. We know
elbow who buys Quick magazine
/ puts on roller skates to read
while going DOWN an electric
.alator.
Lifeguards went on strike at a
lew Jersey summer resort the
ILL., h. TL4 -annrf fhnD