Laurel outlook., 1950-08-30

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NEW YORK'S LOST $4,000
T Attest FIGURES in the national
- census show there are $50, 900
people who have disappeared"
from New York, in the sense that
only 7,841 ,023 were counted against
estimates Of at least 5000, 900. DR..
Roy Peel. boss of the national CEN
sus, has agreed to a re-check.
Elmer Twitchell, eminent statis-
tician, parchesi player and mys-
terry cleaner-upper is on the trail
OF the $50, 600 missing New York
ers and promises early results. He
thinks a great many Of them will
be found completely cut off in cross
traffic in Broadway and Fifth Ave-
nue. midtown areas, totally OBJ
scured and unable to attract atten-
ton. Thousands will be located
screened behind racing sheets. he
hints, and many others halfway be-
tween the city and the nearby ace
tracks.
81 believe, however, that at
least 100, 900 missing New York
ers will be found to be victims
Of the let's-talk-it-over-at-lunch
craze" Elmer declares. mo
New Yorker can get together
with another man on anything,
however simple, without the
luncheon approach. / would not
be surprised, in fact, II more
than loo, 900 people not visible
to census takers were having
three-hour lunch discussions in
various hideaways. Personally,
1 would not bother looking for
them. They are better lost.
They are the greatest david
lers, time MASTERS and snafu
artists in the life Of the CITY,"
Mr.. Twitchell said thousands of
New Workers not seen by the CEN
sus takers were probably in drug
stores taking aspirin tablets. New
Workers are always in such a dith-
er that they are nervously upset
and in need Of aspirin" he said.
Vast throngs of them are at drug
store counters at all times asking
for a glass of water with their tab
let's. Look for at least fifty missing
New Workers at the scene Of eXca-
yations for new building or where
street repairs are in progress. If
you don't find them there try the
corridors and elevators Of Radio
city. 1 have an idea that many r
ost there any hour of any day.
Don't overlook any point where
street flushing apparatus, super
trucks or special fire
rucks are being demonstrated.
There is a restaurant in the Fifties
the window of which is an empty
jar. There is a sign on it
which reads Invisible Peruvian
There will always be a few
hundred New Workers who have
themselves there. Search,
90, the Waldorf Astoria Hobbies.
Visitors don't have much trouble
here but native New Workers are
wandering about in a state
# confusion.
"Then, too, think Of the thou
sands Of New Workers who r
underground most of the time.
Give a thought to the number
who are always lost trying to To-
cate New Lots Avenue, Brook
Iyn."
"Have you any other clues to the
ost $50, 000?" we asked.
eyes" concluded Elmer. Have
)r. Peel search the phone booths,
specially in central cigar stores
nd railroad terminals. 1 have lived
ears in New York without ever
eing able to find one of them IN
coupled. And in most cases the
occupants seemed to have holed in
,r a life stay"
Sumner Pike Sees Great Atom
Energy Progress" - headline.
Peek, as it ere |
Work on doing owe the White
is so per cent finished and
lere are signs that similar prog
,ss can be reported on the job
!, doing over Harry Truman.
Shudda Haddim is in the dumps
gain. He missed Barefoot Boy at
fair price. think Of it," he
today. "Me with the soles
both shoes and my toes through
~ socks! And I goes up to the
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