Courier-herald. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1949-1950, 1949-12-31
Robert c. kuork
Has Not
Hand
In Hula

I'm hU1Q 49,
HONOLULU. Jan. 1-Man and
boy, l have been watching the
hula for more years than I like
to recall, and listening to that
Wiki-Wiki music, and l practical
ly deSpise myself when / say
that have never seen a hand
yet. = -
The hand, you know, is suppos-
ed to be the important thing in
Hawaiian 1--WE. A gal makes some
motions with her dainty little
mitts, and the aficionados gasp
oooohh and aahh and wink at
each other as if to suggest that
they are let in on a dark secret
hidden from the eyes of a new
conner. This is a lot of swanky
propaganda, of course, signifying
nothing.
It has been my pleasure to OBJ
serve Iolani Luahini do the hula,
and 10 is the top exponent of the
ancient, classic hip-switch. Iolani
is in sick-bay at the moment,
and it amt with a sprained hand.
10 is a gal who can suggest vol
canic eruptions and tidal waves
and moonlight and love affairs by
waving wrist at you, but when
she comes down with the occupa-
tional illness of hula queens the
seat of the disease is certainly
not in the arms.
LOVE THE hula, although I
cannot perform same, for the SIM
pie reason that when the Charles
ton died / died with it from
terpsichorean point of view. But
I dislike the accompanying hula
propaganda, which seems shaped
to make a pinch-faced art from
an old-fashioned hootchy-koo
The hula is hapai, or pregnant,
with significance-they say. It
is supposed to purvey the idea
that the moon is big, Hawaii Is
fine, girls are naughty, the vol
canoes erupt, and that the mis-
SionarieS were q necessary evil.
But as a student of the dance, I
never even once saw a full Ha-
waiian look at hand. They con-
centrate on the hips, too.
The ami-ami is the big hip mo-
ton, and it can best be described
as a subtle bump. Ami-ami
means, Lets go around the is
land" and that is the general
idea translated into me nent.
If you can do the ami-a.-. from
a semi-Seated position you are
talented in the extreme. The best
l was ever able to do, from a
semi-seated position, was get up.
THE WIKI-WIKI is sort of
startled forward movement, as if
someone were goading you with
a sharp stick from behind. This
eventually develops into acutely
rheumatic knees, except in the
case of people who are at least
half-Hawaiian, or hapa Haole, as
the phrase goes.
When the hula degenerates into
q real bump-and-grind routine,
the old-timers wink knowingly,
again and mutter that this must
be q Tahitian or Samoan hula.
This is also a lot Of nonsense.
What the Kamaainas are doing
is excusing themselves from the
gross realization that they are in
the burleycue business, and
hanging the blame on some
neighbors a couple thousand
miles away.
Hawaiian music, to which the
hula is danced, is also slightly
phony, in the best chamber of
commerce manner. It is blood
cousin, In genre, to the tango,
since it is based on the general
assumption that everybod y
agrees on q certain state Of af-
fairs. The tango says that life is
dark and dreary, that love has
flown, and that a man seems
practically nude without q dag
ger protruding from his shoulder
blades.
THE HULA TUNES pull the
switch. Inc broad theme is that
Oahu is more beautiful than any
other place in the world; that ev.
erybody always comes home to
Waikiki; that the girls are sexier,
the sun is brighter, and the flow
erS smellier than any other place
on the globe. The hula songs say
that our lava is hotter than any
body else's lava; that our island
is bigger than anybody else's is
land and that the Matson line is
the prettiest steamship company
in the world, eh.ah, eh.ah.
En-ah, en-ah is grunt they
throw In when they run out of
words. Eh-ah. Eh-ah Is how
you kill time until you come to
Hama, which means let's knock
off, and is pronounced like hy-
ena. Haina.ho means let's knock
off, but this time for sure.
So we will say Haina-ho, but
as the sun sinks over the pail, ]
still claim that il they take the
wiggle out Of it they amt got a
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