New England bulletin., 1949-07-02


 Uncle Fred likes a long ont
 to keep him cool. It's perfectly logical because in winter the
 weather gets cold and he likes
 a long one to keep him warm The only times you expect him not to want a long one are at high noon on days when there isn't any weather.
 You get out the bridge table and set up the chairs and decide not to open the new cards because Ted and Fannie are home folks and what are friends for if not to play with the old cards.
 Fannie deals and looks at her hand and says, like she's reading something buried in the cards, that it's going to be 8 long week end with Monday being the Fourth of July and all. Ted wants to know what you're going to do fer the Fourth and you tell him you fig ure to put q dozen beers i'm the freeze box and listen to the double and everybody looks horri- fled as if you say you are going to look up an orphanage to burn or that you split your ticket or some thing revolting like that.
 They are patient explaining about the British and about Thom- as Jefferson and John Hancock signing the Declaration of Inde- pendence on July 4, 1776. You want to know why 8 couple of pig wheels like Jefferson and Hancock are working on big holiday like the Fourth of July. Anyway, the little woman says, the Fourth Of July is a holiday and holiday is to celebrate and not sit around like a bump on a log drinking beer and listening to ball games. You say you never see a bump on a log drink beer, not even a most ale and certainly not the nigh type lager you have in mind.
 'I know" Ted says. He's excited and bubbling all over. like he just swallows half a bottle of dry Bro no Setzer. Let's go to a picnic"
 1.-TWO no trump" you say, but he damage is done and it isn't your bid anyway. "Yes, that's a good idea. Let's go on a picnic. says in 8 very enthusi- lstic manner like they just discov- 1T a cure for atoms.
 Aunt Ella clears her throat as f she's calling g meeting to order. Yes" she says. Let's get out and ret close to nature" Everybody is luiet for a minute after she makes Ter speech. Aunt Ella Is your l ieep-thinlxing aunt. She is always making up serious and profound turf like that to say.
 eff we go where there's swim ming, let's ask the Srniths." Uncle Fred says.
 The Smiths play good pinochle." len says.
 "I don't know about her pino- ;hle," Uncle Fred says. "But, in a bathing suit, Betty Smith is posi- lively sensational"
 "Sexsational humph." Fannie avs. 'If you ask me, Betty Smith | S as old as the hiAs and twice as unpy..
 She glares at Ted coldfy. Ted OOkS at you DdankIy ana you LOOK t the situation philosophically l md say, Never put bananas in he refrigerator"
 Fanny wants to know what that | las Co do with anything you say, lothing yeu hope. Uncle Fred js1se aIlzs the Smiths OsRt of . picnic.
 Ted knows just the spot. Fl oesn't see it ia fifteen years bat, ln1ess somebody puts Np a gas sta- ion on the grounds, there's a rock and trees all equipped with t1il-in grass underneath, and jszst noszgh ants and 1ittie green yornas to fill out the guest list.
 There Is much animated dfscss- ion about what's to eat. Fannie avs to Jen, "You bake ham and III make the potato salad." You baFt huHannfng, 'Potatoes are sk o0 nou.SS 0~A TAxAwSn ~~vnznA~ Sn