Evening star., 1949-06-24
This and That
Bv Charles Z. Trace,peH

Templeton Jones shocked his wife the
other day by saying. II wish some one
would accuse me of being disloyal to the
Government"
Mrs. Jones' looked dazed for a second.
then screamed. What! How can you say
such thing?"
Templeton grinned. as he puffed on his
big pipe.
Think of all the publicity would get"
he said. soothingly. 1T would do me q
lot OF good" - Il
MRS. Jones shifted. y 50 - N .
q s'f YOU wait long enough" sheFarinned.
in her turn. they will accuse you OF being
a Republican"
In the year 1854. Jones unused, he might
be hauled up before the bar of justice
on that very charge.
-" ITO all those who shell see these pressatse
laasnuch as it haseome to nj n l.
:of the Loyalty Court that one~TempNton
Jones, president of the Anti-Sneezing So
ciety, has been seen making diverse trips
to ballot boxes to cast his vote for Presi-
dent on the Republican ticket:
"And whereas the said Republican ticket
has now been outlawed, and the members
of the Party given their just dues. and also
all persons who voted or did ever VOTE or
who most stubbornly and secretly still
desire to vote the said Republican ticket
are now outlawed:
"And whereas the aforementioned Jones
has been accused by various persons Of good
repute on suspicion of being Republican
'It is hereby ordered by this court that
the said Jones appear before it on the ninth
day of the month Of Demos to answer to
the following:
81. It is charged that the said Templeton
JONES' esq. and president of the Anti-Sneez-
ing Society. once dared to believe that every
man is born free and equal.
20. It Is charged that Jones. In common
with all Republicans. believed that every
man has the right to personal happiness.
49, 1t is charged that he felt that every
one has right to keep what he earns. that
what he earns Is his, and that he should be
privileged to pay his own assessment out Of
his own pocket, rather than have some one
in authority take 1t way from him before
he ever gets it.
-. 1t is also charged that this said Jones
did believe that every man should pay his
own doctors bills to the best of his ability.
IS. 1t is further charged against him that
he disbelieved the present creed Of the cradle
to the grave, as established after the second
revolution.
IS. Against his record is the allegation
that the said Jones did feloniously and with
stubbornness of his rapidly dwindling tribe
believe that every man has a right to his
own ways so long as they do not conflict
with the ways of society.
~. 1t is charged that the said Jones har-
bors curious old-fashioned and therefore
abominable belief that the less laws there
are the better the citizen is of. In massive
distinction to the present creed which sayeth
that everything must be covered by law
'8. 1t is further charged that this odd
character has insisted that the creed EN-
bodies the tenet of tax and tax and spend
and spend and elect and elect when it Is
well known that this is slanderous saying
fostered on America in the old days by
the aforementioned Republicans.
20. 1t is charged. Furthermore. that this
said Templeton Jones Is an isolationist, that
is. he believes that America can get along
by itself. when 1t is known that today
no nation can get along without American
money
40. 1t is charged, In conclusion. that the
said Templeton Jones believes In the two
party system. an old concept seldom mem
toned any more except laughingly. and
that the said Jones has been heard to say
that people ought 10 mind their own busi-
ness and let other peoples business alone.
and that the said Jones outraeeously en-
bodies in his own person and intelligence
the outmoded beliefs of many generations.
and was even heard to express the belief
that a man is worth what he can get :
an old concept having little validity.
Let the said Templeton Jones, esq. ap-
pear In the Loyalty Court to answer the
supreme charge, that he is. 10 wit, Repub~
lican and may God have pity on his soul !"
Templeton Jones sighed. shook himself.
then heard q weil-known voice say. Tenn
pletuu. dinner u ready