Evening star., 1949-12-25
Modern
Marriage
Divorce Advised
To Occupy Time
In Useful Work
By Dr.. Paul Popenoe

By Dr.. Paul Popenoe
You'd think she had lepfosy,
from the way people shun Mrs. L.
since her divorce. There was no
scandal or even a suspicion OF II"
she asserts. 1--WE didn't get along.
and after a couple OF years we
agreed to quit. Plenty Of people
do the same. Why should ] be
an outoast from society then?
But that's the way I feel. My
old friends are gradually leaving
me out of their invitations. If I
am at a public gathering, every
wife takes pains to see that I
don't have a chance to talk to her
husband. If I run into one OF
these husbands in store or at a
bus stop. and start conversation
as have done for years past. he
looks. guilty, glances around to
see If anybody is watching and
tries to sneak away.
Its really terrible. I'm not
trying to ALLEVIATE anybody's af-
fections. I'm not a home wrecker.
I'm just trying to live normal
life like other people. With divorce
has common as it is now, and in
thoroughly respectable families. I
resent being treated as if I wore a
Scarlet letter."
If that's the way you are treat
ed, Mrs. L., agree it's time for a
change. It may be. however, that
you are unconsciously a little more
free-and-easy. or a little more in
clined to be dependent. or pro-
vocative, or f1irtatious in dealing
with other women's husbands than
you realize or intend.
Every unattached woman has to
face such problems, however. The
advice which Mrs. Gladys Denny
Shultz, author, gives to widows
applies here:
Stay out OF other peoples
troubles. It is the unattached fe-
male who starts to sympathize
with some allegedly unhappy hus-
band who is likely to get into
trouble, and plenty of 1t. on her
own account.
Beware unconventional people.
Conf1ne your friendships to con-
servative and well-behaved cou-
pies.
Watch your step with particu-
lar care in mixed company.
Don't have a friendship with a
married man unless his wife is
completely included.
If Mrs. L. will follow those
rules. and at the same time try to
occupy herself completely with
useful and interesting work, I
think she will gradually see a
change in the attitude of other
women toward her.
@. Why do uneducated girls
have more luck getting husbands
than do those with good educa-
ton?
A. It would take a book to an
swer fully. In her work and play,
the uneducated girl seems more
likely to go to places where there
is a surplus of men, while the bet
ter educated girl goes to places
where there Is already an over
supply Of women.
@. How can we get our son, age
i6, to talk more fully about his
social and school affairs?
A. Very likely you can't, espe-
cially If he is an introvert. Boys
Of 16 are normally looking away
from, rather than toward, their
parents. It's natural and really
desirable. Help his unobtrusively
to get good associations with older
boys and men. If you don't try
to force the issue or make him
think you are shopping into his
private life, you'll find that a few
years from now he will treat you
as an equal!
{For free advice on problems involving
| marriage relationships, include in your
letter addressed, to DR.. Paul popenoe. in
| care Of The. Star q stamped. self-addressed
return envelope. All correspondence strict
ly confidentialO