Evening star., 1949-12-09
This and That
By Charles E. TraceweN


Templeton Jones. president Of the Anti
Sneezing Society, is In dilemma.
Maybe somebody can help him out.
Jones has always found that two heads
are better than one. and three heads in
finitely better. at least until they begin to
squabble.
Jones has I'VE Of the new antihistamine
pills and doesn't know which one to take!
AS can be imagined, there was no more
delighted man in the world than he when
the first Of the freely sold to the public
preparations came on the market.
Here he had been advocating no-sneezing
for years. but all he or any one else had
been able to do about 1t was admonttion.
He had warned persons, in and out Of
season, not to sneeze in public. He knew
all the reasons-and so did the dear old
public.
And It's component members went right
ahead sneezing on each other as freely and
as vigorously as they could.
They sneezed in Offices, in public vehicles.
In their own cars.
They sneezed at street corners. Some Of
the members Of the public sneezed the mo-
ment they came out into the sunshine.
Some Of them had picked up old
fashioned germs. some the more modern
virus, and some just had allergies. as they
suspected.
"1ts not real cold" they would soothe
Jones. you see, If you sneeze three times
it may be real cold, but If you sneeze
four or more times, it must be an allergy."
Picture Templeton Jones, president Of the
Anti-Sneezing Society, with his five new
antihistaminic pills, or more properly,
tablets.
It has been difficult for him to make up
his mind, for q very simple reason.
He has no cold!
Jones has always practiced what he
preached. A victim Of colds (his doctor said
it was his tonsils). he has taken all sorts OF
infections, vaccines and the Hke-and un-
like. -,
He has taken lemon and soda he has pur-
chased sunlamps he has sat in the real sun
for hours after hours. s5
He has consumed so many vitamins that
frustrated druggist.
One complete shelf Of his new refrigerator
had been taken up with vitamin prepara-
tions.
He has tried the water cure. and the
"sweat-it-out" cure. He has gone back to
grandmother's ideas as to how to cure
colds, and then has sprung forward through
the years to the most modern.
IQlS ldIlUS IllIU SQudIc1y dI A14o OCch WAtAA
the five antihistamine tablets at his COM
mand. g.
The theory is that the virus which causes
a cold is protein. and that proteins. If one
Is allergic to the particular one represented
by the virus, causes the building up of his
famine in the blood.
That is about as far as the theory goes.
No one says a word about why the system
floods out the histamine, or why 1t is good
for one to thWart, by means Of q small white
tablet what nature is trying to do
The symptoms, the sneezes and the
snifles will be done away with, according
to the enthusiasts, and that will be good.
Templeton Jones Is all for 1t. Anything
that bids fair to end sneezes makes big
hit with the president Of the Anti-Sneezing
Society.
For 20 years doomed merely to admonish
mankind, he is now prepared to do some
thing about it.
He has five Of them. but is not able to
make up his mind which is the best. Tor
cold.
"That is just what I might have ex-
pected," moaned Jones, seated at his f1ne
mahogany desk. "f1ere have some pills,
but no cold to try them on"
Jones supposes that he will be well all
the rest Of the winter. Hundreds OF his
fellow men will snufde and sneeze. as OF
old, but not Templeton Jones. When he
wants to get cold, for coldly scientific
purposes, nature will not oblige.
Here, for the first time In centuries.
something is really being done about the
human cold, and Templeton Jones stays dis
gustingly healthy.
He knew It would b. that way.