Evening star., 1949-12-03
This and That
.Ry Charles E, TraceweH

Templeton Jones II = man who reads
advertisements.
He says that men who leave the lads"
entirely to the womenfolk are missing lot.
That automobile ad the other day. IN
which appeared classic line about now
easy the new car Is TO park ana garase;
That one struck Jones with all the force
Of lightning.
Instead Of deploring such use OF
garage" Templeton Jones Immediately
began to expand upon 1t.
"I1l breakfast myself" he said. "and then
bus myself downtown.
''Then I'll pen me letter. and cup myself
some coffee.
"LAter in the day may sneak of to
theater myself for a movie. after which
might as well bus myself home again"
Another ad that always appeals TO
Templeton Jones is the one in which the
aspiring ad man uses q double adjective.
such as "big. big bottle" or "low. low price. "
or lovely. lovely dress"
At flrst Jones strained bit at this one.
He made few nasty comments, but soon
saw that others took it up and everywhere
he turned he read about beautiful. beautiful
gown" or tasty. tasty coffee"
"The thing has its advantages" he
opined. "It gets two ncks in where only one
srew before.
IT you say bottle Is big. that is what you
say - that It is big, but II you insist that
1t Is "big, big bottle" for your, money. well.
there you somehow seem to have a bottle
bigger than big, which u exactly what the
man wanted you to think.
mo doubt he figured that by the time you
bought the bottle, and saw that 1t was just
an ordinary big bottle. you would have for
gotten the extra big"
Mystic phrases to put into words the
varied seductiveness Of perfumes always
have intrigued Templeton Jones.
He says that no wielders Of words can
do more with few Of them than the perfume
i'd writer's, who manage to give all the effect
Helen and Troy must have had on Paris. or
Marguerite on Faust, Ia few well chosen
tines.
Grass masculine persons, who manfully
refuse to read any lads" at all, should loosen
themselves up to read them, especially II
II any line where they must use words. now
and then. Jones says.
The I'd phrase that won Templeton Jones'
blessing. however, was recent one which
spoke Of the appeal Of . certain product ITO
that miracle OF modern wonanhood. the
teen.ager."
Jones sat up in real admiration at that
one.
There was 4 bit Of indignation, too. in his
voice. as he said:
Modern miracle Of wonanhood, my eye!
"Whats 10 miraculous about her?
Il knew plenty Of teen-agers, In the old
days, and they seemed just as miraculous 70
me thgu as these do to the boys Of today.
1'Iu bet young girls through history have
always seemed miracles to those who like
'em, % who doesn't?
sWhAt's 10 super-duper about these brats
Of today?
'.They are al vitaminized up. It = true.
ana i've their hair 100 strokes with the
brush every day, but their loafers are dirty.
and their sloppy-Joe sweaters really sloppy.
and then"
Here Templeton Jones paused Tor breath
before he continued:
..A11d what Is 20 miraculous about wearing
daddys shirt, with the tail hanging out7
That doesn't look Like much Of . miracle 70
me.
Here We leave Templeton Jones. with the
added comment only that those ads" really
\ do seem to ret his attention. which was what
thay Esrs after. n ths drst piace.