Evening star., 1949-12-11

JAMES T. BERGMAN.
Elected Vice President.
civilian chiefs. "Mutiny for the
Bounty; or Tales of the South
Pentagon," as the skit's title.
Crommelin Identifies Self.
A member of the Navy's now
disbanded Operation %, and Cap
tain John G. Crommelin. who
figured in the recent unif1cation
disputes, were cleaning up the
place for Admiral Denfeld's ar
rival when a native demanded
Captain .Crommelin identify him
self. Capt. Crommelin sang to
the tune of Hair of Cold:
20. Stripes of gold, suit of blue,
I'm a Navy man.
In oceans grim or corridors dim
You can call me Fancy DAN"
He had no more than finished
when a B-36 roared in with De-
fense Secretary johnson. Navy
Secretary Matthews. Air Force
Secretary Symington and Air
Force Chief of Staff Vandenberg.
Contention burst out Immediately
as Gen. Vandenberg sang (to the
music Of Riders in the Sky'):
We're from the mighty Air
Force
Not the Navy or Marines"
Secretaries Symington and Mat
thews thought the island an awful
spot, but Secretary johnson said
What does it matter? You're
with me, aren't you?"
Then. to the tune Of "A Won
derful Guy" he sang:
'"All by myself I am the whole
Army . r.
I'm the Navy and Air Force, too
I nod my head and the Congress
plays dead
And I now have the White House
in view."
Denfeld Carries Life Raft.
The arrival Of Admiral Denfeld
carrying a life raft came close to
starting a brannigan when Dem
field learned johnson and Mat
thews had come to pay him a call.
They've called me enough al
ready" Denfeld shouted. Where
are they? I'll take on the biggest
one flrst!"
The Democratic skit that closed
the dinner portrayed members of
the club in the tortures of writing
a skit because they reluctantly
acknowledged that I'VE can't just
ignore the Democrats. A charac-
ter dressed as a gorilla wandered
into the club rooms. where weary
club members wrestled with their
problem.
Good Lord" exclaimed the
chairman of the Gridiron music
committee, Its John L. Lewis"
Song About Lucas Suggested.
The gorilla suggested some
body sing a song about Scott
Lucas" Senate majority leader,
who had so many troubles during
the first session of the 81st Con-
gress.
"Barkley never had troubles
like Lucas" the chairman said.
Lucky old Weep" The line struck
fire, and soloist sang to the tune
Of Lucky Old Son."
"Oh boss, oh boss. I'm tired an
achin' with pain;
Please, boss; please, boss, forgive
me if I complain,
Fussin' with Russell, scrappin'
with Byrd,
Fight till I'm weary and grey
But that lucky old Weep got
nothin' to do
But laff at the Senate all day.
The song was approved, but the
committee fell back into dejec-
ton for lack of a skit to build
around it. The chairman said no
to every suggestion until a mem
ber Indignantly declared: what
we need is chairman who can't
say no."
Cant say no." member
mused. Then, swapping his fin
gers: That's perfect for Harry
Vaughan" After some frantic
scribbling, committee members
sang:
1T amt so much a question of
who gets 5 per cent
It amt man who looks for
dividends
My door is always open, you can
see the President.
I really do attract the darndast
friends! j.
I know it's something I should
not admit,
But when they ask for favors.
I fergit!
I'm just a guy who CANT say no
I never learned to say nix:
T always give them my OK.
When ] can put on the Ak"
Dilemma Solved.
The committees dilemma was
solved when a member. in re-
,sponse to further suggestions that
the Democrats be ignored, de-
clared that "as long as they have
Harry Truman and his Missouri
mule train
"Mule Train" the committee
chairman shouted. Nov we've
got something"
The Democratic skft and dinner
ended with Vice President Barkley
joining members of the Gridiron
Club In singing a final chorus OF
~ 4. 81 ,,As,sta r~,.r sSyTya eyoya Vy1o eo1e .,