Evening star., 1949-09-08
Some Elementary Rules
For the Republican Orators

To the Editor of The Star:
It generally has been agreed that the
Republicans lost the last election because of
poor speech-making. They failed to get the
"facts across to the people" After listening
to the speeches from the camp of the enemy
consistently since then, eliminating in the
double header this Labor Day. the process
seems to be simple enough. Below I've
compounded the formula:
E1 Do-nothing S0th Congress-: For this,
8lst may be substituted. Why it is do
nothing" does not matter 1t is the bad
name that sticks
2. Especial INTERESTS: Sometimes called
selfish interests" or some people, Do not
name them: the group to whom you are
speaking will use the term as a symbol for
whatever group they especially. hate. 1t is
important to regard the group to which
you are speaking as having no special in
terests at all-only the Well-being of all
America. The trick is to denounce special
interests" at the same time that you appeal
to the listening groups special interests.
3. Tatt-Hartley SlaUe Labor La1D: way
to appeal to a large group. That the au-
dience probably never has read the law
means nothing; you may make them shud-
der and hate the very name if you repeat
speech. Republicans could find, of course.
another law to berate. The idea is to find
one that affects a great number of voters
The notorious highway traffic regulations,
for instance would stir up lot of feeling.
4. Men OF Little FAITH: These are any
persons who take exception to any measure
you propose. They are also part of the
villainous gang of selfish interests" They
are not only Machiavelian, but stupid"
and "nearsighted" to boot. Since you are
always right, it is unnecessary to consider
anything they suggest. Caution is synon-
ymous with little faith.
S. I'VE DM 90 forWard": At this point
set your jaw, extend palm. and saw hand
up and down. Crowd won't know where
forward is. but will identify it as support
of its interests
6. "The people kneaU ,Uhat they 1Uanted":
The people in this case consist of those who
voted for you. The greater millions who
voted against you presumably are not peo-
pie. They are either dupes of, or actually
themselves the special interests" of Item 2,
who didn't know what they wanted.
7. "Plain facts before the people,: The
ten items in this list are known as plain
facts Any other facts will be distrusted
by the people as intellectual city -sicker
tricks.
8. "For1Dard looking 1egislation': Any
tnlng you are concerned Win is forward
looking" Be careful not to say what 1T is
looking forward to.
9. But it 1D,u not succeed: Some sly
trick of those special interests G.e. any
proposed legislation of the other party.
10. AS you farmers 1oeu-kno1D," "as you
1Oorkers 10ell-kno1O," "aS you Catholics ,Uell-
knov," etc.: Makes them feel as though
they knew it all the time. Appeal to their
special interests, which are in some mys-
terious way not the special interests of
Item 2.
AS you see, there are simply ten little
items to memorize. They are the facts
that must be put before "the people" They
must be repeated over and over again. To
show the effect of repetition, compiled this
list without reference to any printed mat
ter. The facts" have been drummed into
my head where they will stay.
Remember. the people do not want intel
lectual discourses. AS Mr.. Truman has re-
minded you time and again, they know
what they want" They come not to be
taught. but to harmonize. They look not
for a teacher, but a sweetheart.
Gentlemen. have done as much as Mod
ern Science can for you Now go out and
write those speeches. would ghost write
for you, but conscience forbids me to take
money for such an elementary task
D. CLINING PHATHE