Roanoke Rapids daily herald., 1948-10-04
A Problem
Caused By:
Jealousy ".
3, GARRY CLEVELAND MYERS, PktD.


YOU may often have been very
much discouraged over the tabfs
manners of your child at home,
though you have heard that he has
| good manners away from home.
Also you may suppose your child
is very naughty and disobsdient
at home, though you have heard ire.
quent reports from school and else
where Of his good citizenship. =.
Of boy s,a years old and two
girls Az and 21s, the mother writes:
"The teacher at school says he Is
a very good boy and does every.
thing he is told. At home neither
his dad nor I can get him to do any
thing unless we force him to and
then he whines and cries so much
that 1t is making me wreck. -.
We have told him we care very much
for him and would like for him to
be a nice boy so we could b proud
of him and that II he is good the
girls will be good, too. He is given
an allowance every week and a.
lowed to 90 to other children's homes
and their mothers say he il little
gentleman and doesn't cause trou-
Bile. DR.. Myers, why isn't he like
that at home? We simply can't tell
him No else there 10 q scene" -
Rare Occasions
Here, in substance, is how I wrote
this mother: No doubt he feels he
does not stand so we'll in the family
as his younger sisters do. Just be-
cause Of their age you have rare
occasions to command them to help
about the house. Your failure to get
him to help without constant argu-
ments and emotional conflicts and
the constant scenes over your Oft
: abortive attempts at restraining
him make it appear to him that he
gets many more rebukes and pun.
ishments than they do. His feeling
that he does not share with them
an equal amount Of approval stirs
up jealousies in him, rendering him
more stubborn and disobedient.
Please never again appeal to him
to do right for the good eject on
! his sisters. It's no use to tell him
you love him as much as you love
them. Set the stage during the next
ID several months SO he will discover
s. for himself that you do.
- Show Satisfaction
First you and Dad should express
great satisfaction over the good re-
:, ports you hear Of his behavior at
"a, school and elsewhere, and in the
eA presence of the younger child and
"a your adult friends, being very care.
u full to avoid suggesting that he
u. SHOULD be just as good Ut home"
u, Nv Figure out the few definite things
~ he must or must not do at home and
0e ways of enforcing your control over
him without arguing. When he
must be punished assign him to sit
er where you can see him without
ID amusement for exactly 46 minutes,
'er Have no feelings over his whirins
and crying. Resort to physical pun
re- ishment only II he refuses to stay
ne in the chair for the full period.
,ed am enclosing my bulletins, "Jeal
'eo ousy," and "How Teach Child Il
a Help at Home" Ito be had by any
6; other person in = stamped %
'ea velope). /
at Consider the scores Of less ssssi,
en- tial matters about which you vii
10 quit bossing him. Find ways Of hav
eI, ing more good times with him, il
zen which matters Dad can do much
,ea Welcome his friends to your home
an Employ reason and patience. Sssl
yer ways of winning his cooperation
ma and companionship. Generousl!
TN celebrate successes in him..
ne,
it'll Answering Parents Questions
Q. What do you think Of sendinl
a child to bed for punishment
a A. 1t has always seemed to me
ter cruel sort of punishment, Z thous
SD. and times more severe than , spank
ats. ing or chair sitting for1( dshnit
in. time without amusement. ii
ess' Q. How would you explain to
, obi child he can't have all tbs toys eths
sts children have? We,
" A. Tell him once you are able
buy only certain toys for him q
that more would not be good "a
the him. Say no more. Too much a6ol
tsp. at explanation often invites argr
ments.
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