Arizona sun., 1948-04-16


s8sssS but COW, and still
later l was chased by one. This
caused additional doubt concerning
free information furnished by one
elders.
Then came the crossword puzzles.
I saw that three, HORIZONTAL was a
three-letter word meaning rumlnant.
Having heard of the word "ruml-
nate" by that time, and thinking
that, thinking or, if you will, rumi-
mating, was a fairly common prac-
tice among the genus homo, l wrote
down ''man." Later when l met a
number of congressman I was con-
vinced of my error.
Now know that neither defini-
ton is entirely wrong. A cow ru-
inmates when it chews its cud
(having chewed it before), and q
man ruminates when he chewS an
idea upon which he has chewed
before.
In some ways however, cows ana
men differ. In fact, cows even differ
in some respects from women, al
though all three creatures-man'
woman and cow-are mammals. the
highest form of vertebrate, those
which (the authorities inform mel
nurse their young with milk. Just
how man gets into this category is
a little beyond me, but that is what
the scientist says, and am willing
to strain my credulity little. After
all, I suppose that my father. who
paid for the milk which l drank
when l got so 1 could take it out OF
a glass, nourished me in manner
of speaking. We will let it go at
that, although it seems to me that
man assumes a little of what might
be criticized as the gland manner
of speaking when he tries to get
more than a grade B rating as
mammal.
But to return to the differences
between cows on the one hand. and
men and women on the other-(and
I think no one will contradict me
when 1 say there ARE differences):
One thing a cow cannot do that a
man can, is blow it's own horn. And
as we know from listening to the
soap operas, it is easier to make
woman slip than to make a cowslip.
Now what has a cow got that
you and 1 haven't? Answer: Cat
tie are closely related to the buff
falo, the bison and the yak. l defy
any genealogist to produce bison,
buffalo and a yak in one human
family tree. On the other hand,
in the branches of cows family
tree, there are no monkeys.
In some ways the cow has superior
abilities. For instance, have seen
q cow roll over without spilling a
drop of milk, which is more than
any man, carrying similar amount
Of lacteal fluid, could do.
Philologically, the cow seems to
have somewhat of an edge on man,
at least for those who believe in the
capitalistic system. The Latin word
for cattle Gas of course you know
if you just looked it up as I did) is
''pecus." And the word pecuniary
Is derived from that, and the words
cattle, chattel and capital are to
each other what cow itself is to buff
falo, bison and yak.
All present-day breeds of cattle, l
am authoritatively informed, are
descended from the two types, large
and small, known in prehistoric
times in Europe. However, in re-
cent time3 (and now we are getting
down to what started me ruminat-
ing), something new has been ad-
ded. We now have developed what
might be laughingly called ''hot
cows" and "cold cows"
The ''hot'' are the Brahmas which
have been insinuated into our own
American strains to inure them to
our southern latitudes and for other
purposes. AS you know, Brahma
cattle are known by their humps. A
Draw Brahma has large hump just
abaft the shoulders, a:.d the others
of lesser rank have smaller humps
getting down to something not much
larger than a fever blister.
The "cold'' cow is quite differ
ent thing. AS might be expected. 1t
comes from Russia where they in
vented the cold war, the cold shoul-
der and the common or Siberian
cold. which is used to correct false
ideologies, longevity and monopolis-
tic capitalism.