Roanoke Rapids daily herald., 1948-10-18
TukeCureWhut
You Say In
Front Of Child
BY GARRY CLEVELAND MYERS, Ph.D.

MY daughter recently informed
me that her two older children under
five have promised "to give away
the next two babies" She says that
SO many of her adult friends have
asked these children "to sell" them
their baby brother that they have
been cajoled into making the prom
Use. "And some of these friends are
parents, too," my daughter added.
One might suppose they would have
better sense.
Have you observed the many silly
things some adults say to young
children? The apparent reason is
that these adults. wishing to make
conversation with the child, just
don't know what to say. Among the
usual drab questions are: How old
are you? What's your name? No
child escapes such questions until
after he is far in adolescence, when
more embarrassing questions are
usually asked.
Object of Curiosity
What should one say to child?
Usually if one lets him alone and
acts toward him as if he were the
person he really is instead of some
object of curiosity, he will begin
to talk on his own accord. If he
is doing or making something, one
can induce him to talk by being ap-
preciative of his possessions and
activities. being careful never to
talk down to him or make him feel
one is treating him as less grown
up than he is.
If you feel you must talk to the
young child whom you don't know
well or never met before, ask him
the name of a playmate, or what he
enjoys most when he plays, or about
the playthings he has or the stories
he likes most to hear. The child from
six to twelve may choose to tell you
bhat he likes to make and do for
FUN or to show you something he
has constructed or created in some
other manner. There is no better
way to reach the heart Of a child
than through appreciation of what
he has done with his hands, and
this may be true of the child right
through his teens. If you can win
an invitation to his workshop you
need only to look and listen appre-
eiatively and he will talk freely.
A skillful, appreciative guest may
Be able to bring out free, easy elo-
quent expression in a child of the
home visited without asking many
questions or any at all, though skill
full questions may be fruitful.
Senses Attitude
Be the child three, twelve or fif-
teen, he soon senses your attitude
toward him as a person. He gets
It through the way you breathe,
look and listen. He soon discovers
whether you are sincere and honest
with him.
You will, Of course, be on guard
sxainst saying anything that would
make him feel unworthy or inferior
or that might make him suppose
You would ever ridicule anything he
would say or do. Taking such pre-
cautions, you would never make
personal remarks about him or
other people as, for example, about
. scar, color of hair, weight or size.
Nor would you indulge in silly re-
marks about "your boy friend" or
s.your girl friend"
Al you have observed certain
adults with children and youths you
must have been impressed with the
way these adults win the child's con-
fdence and bring out of them free
and delightful conversation. I'm
sure you easily discern in such gra-
cious adults . genuine sincerity and
\ appreciation of the child as . per-
son. Such achievement is truly en-
viabls. Some Of the ideals Of the
foregoing appear in that prayer !
wrote for myself as parent, . copy
q which may be had in a stamped
envelope.