Roanoke Rapids daily herald., 1948-10-20
Principles
Soundk

By GARRY CLEVELAND MYERS, PAD.


YOU have oftsn heard and read
that II you center your attention on
attracting the child to do what
1t 10 good for him to do, you won't
need to worry about restraining or
inhibiting him. But you who have
read this column for years know
that I advocate no such impractical
doctrine; that / not only acknowl-
edge . need Of sone restraints, es-
peeially in the ehild's early years, but
Also emphasize this need constantly.
Let me summarize my teaching:
Make painful the few things you
want the child never to do and pleas
ant the many more things you want
him to do. And % I constantly en-
phasixs the simple principle Of inn
msdiaey and nc exceptions Tin the
early years), I have warned against
pain (punishment) for acts by the
child which you can't always check
personally, such ~ thumb sucking,
bed-wstting and nail-bitint, and
have also explained that the emo
tional factors involved in such acts
add to the futility Of punishment
in relation to them.
Deserved Approvsls
On the other hand, I hava urged
deserved approvals and have often
used the slogan, Celebrate Sue
essses." In ever 80 many ways We
parents can set the stage 20 the
child will do right, in order to be
able to approve him more often.
When, for instance, the baby ten
months old slaps you or his brother
or sister In the face for his an,uss-
ment, you might, by the quiet sus-
gestion, Hug Mother" get him to
do 20. Then praise him.
As you help = child build 4 tower
Of blocks he may want to knock it
down. Then with proper sussestion
from you he might choose to help
you make it a. high ~ possible
without topping and to take down
the blocks carefully one by one.
With warm approvals Of him then
you might be able to induce him
to gain pleasure gradually from
building with blocks eonstructively.
OF course, some tots who never had
learned any restraints at all might
not be able to profit from such posi-
tive suggestions. Indeed, . few
healthy inhibitions fsrtili.s the soil
for positive suggestions to grow in.
Cultivate Unseinshness !
Always We are eager to cultivate
unselhshness in the growing child
80 that he will share with his play.
mates and Be thoughtful Of the
rights and feelings Of others Then
he does reveal good trait Wen
though less often than ~ have
wished, let US be ready with honest,
generous approvals.
You have been pleased with some
things your child five, eight or
twelve did while guests were pres
ent. After the guests have gone, be
sure to compliment the child for
these good things, even though he
did few others you didn't like. And
when you hear good things from
teachers or your friends about your
child, six, twelve or sixteen, Be sure
to tell this child of what you had
heard, celebrating his successes.
The child with . few basic inhibi.
lions well established in the early
years can profit more and more
from worthy approvals, with the re-
suit that he Will Win mora ways to
warrant more approvals and have
US celebrate with him his successes.
Normally, then, We parents might
have reasons to hope that ~ this
child grows older We will feel less
and less the need to rebuka and pun
ish him and mora and more oeca-
sions to approve him and enjoy his
eonioanionship.