Evening star., 1948-05-16
PsychoonoIyst
Looks at Love
And Divorce

DIVORCE WON'T HELP
BY Edmund Bergler, M. D. (Har-
per & Bros; $3J
Reviewed by
WINFRED OVERHOLSER, M. D.,
st. Elizabeths Hospital
~ PsychiatrJ ana Neuroiosy.
The author, q psychoanalyst Of
long experience. has written volu-
minously and clearly for professional
and lay readers. He is the author
of several books and has devoted
much Of his attention to the PSYCHE
atric problems involved in malad-
justments between marital partners.
Starting with the obvious i'm
portance of sexual factors in sue
cessful marriage, he illustrates by
numerous cases the neurotic nature
Of the various types Of "incompati-
bility" which all too often lead to
the illusory relief" Of the divorce
court. "A simple yardstick for recog-
nizing neurosis," he says, is the lack
of ability to love (tenderly and with
normal potency retaineO, to have
normal social contacts and interests,
to enjoy ones hobbies. As long as
there is relative contentment on
that quadrangular score, there is no
reason to become alarmed" The
neurotic has not grown up. but re-
tains infantile conflicts which
normally are overcome by the age
of or so.
Fixed Patterns.
These conflicts are so effectively
and compensated that the
patient does not recognize their ma
ture; they are effective, neverthe-
less, and defense is sought by pro-
jecting ones deficiencies upon the
partner or by resort to promiscuity
and other unaccepted behavior. The
neurotic is incapable of tender love,
but sacrifices the partner "in order
to retain the possibility of repeating
his conflict with somebody else" It
is for this reason that instead of
seeking relief for the neurosis
usually rationalized as being non-
existent and as the fault of the
partner) the neurotic seeks divorce
and remarries, only to repeat his
failure. The pattern, incidentally,
tends to become more fixed as the
neurotic grows older, and with an
uncanny tendency to repeat in find-
ing and attracting equally neurotic
partners.
DR.. Bergler enumerates and de-
scribes briefly IA different types of
marriages. Does he think
all marriages are neurotic? Hardly!
He stresses that most marriages are,
after all, successful. He discusses
at some length the signs of being in
love-among these are a subjective
feeling of happiness, generalization
of the love object, exclusiveness,
psychic dependence upon the love
object, sentimental behavior and
predominance of fantasy.
A Colossal Bluff.
One of the chapters is entitled
1.-THE Myth Of the Superior Male"
He says that the fate Of every nor
NAL marriage is decided mainly by
the wife. He adds: "One cannot
escape the impression that the
whole husband-wife relationship in
our culture is based on colossal
bluf1-the pretense that the man
rules or is at least full partner,
whereas In reality he is not even q
stockholder. The balance
of marital power automatically fav-
ors the wife"
The author is fundamentally op-
timistic for the future. provided
more marriage counseling facilities
can be provided and provided the
public comes to recognition OF the
of neurosis as a condi-
ton entirely lacking in stigma.
Progress in these fields Is being
made but until then the divorce
mills may continue the legal at
tempt to treat neurotic marriages
just as in another field the courts
still jail the neurotic alcoholic.
DR.. Bergler uses dialogues a bit
too freely, but his book is eminently
readable and sound as a scientific
approach to one of our serious So
cial problems.