Roanoke Rapids daily herald. (Roanoke Rapids, N.C.) 1948-1949, 1948-09-16
Ex-Teocher
Her
Own Child
By GARRY CLEVELAND MYERS, Ph.D.

BY GAkhl SLENLLAND hihNo' Sn.D.
OFTEN receive a letter from
an ex-teacher or ex-nurse who is
discouraged over the management
of her child or children. Normally
we might expect these mothers to
excel as parents, and most of them
do. They expect themselves to excel
and express chagrin over having
any problems at all.
The ex-teacher may have been
very successful in the classroom.
There she skillfully used the social
pressure of the group in her appeals
to individual children. Even though
she did not appear to these children
to be exacting she easily was able to
hold them up to certain standards
of behavior, since it was what every
body did. Then she could be more
objective at school: they were not
her own children. She did not feel 80
keenly the responsibility for each
child at school nor were so many
emotions constantly arising in her
at school as emerged at home. With
her own child, too. it was not so
easy to overlook matters of con-
duct which she could readily over
look at school. Moreover, her ex-
periences at school tended to make
her try to prevent some Of the bad
traits in her own child, which some
of the school children had. Ex-
teachers like ex-nurses tend to be
perfectionists regarding their own
children.
Value of Consistency
The ex-teacher, more often than
not, has learned the value of con-
sistency and, therefore, may be
quite successful at training the child
in his early years but weak at win
ming his cooperation then. Or, if
she has been very successful with
forbiddings and requirements up to
the time her child is ten or twelve
she may not relax enough on con-
trolls to cultivate adequate self-di-
rection in him thereafter. With her
child under four or five she may not
draw the line between request and
a command and she may be too
ready to command him both to deter
him from wrong action and to turn
him to right action.
On these foregoing items the ex-
nurse also may be similar. She, too,
has high regard for consistency and
routine, even more than the ex-
teacher, perhaps, in regard to the
child's eating and elimination. Very
sensitive to nutrition needs and good
toilet habits, the ex-nurse may, I'M
awares, incite the youngster to
stubbornness in respect to his eat
ing and learning toilet habits. She
may suppose she can force the child
to eat or void.
Here l wish I might persuade the
ex-nurse and ex-teacher mother
(other young mothers, too) to
read my bulletins, "Stubbornness,"
Teaching Tot Toilet Habits" and
Eating Problems: Their Preven-
ton and Correction" each to be had
in a stamped envelope. In all these
bulletins l emphasize calmness and
patience in the mother, and taking
time enough to set the stage for
winning the youngsters coopera-
ton.
One more problem Of the ex-
teacher: While her own teaching ex-
perience should make her more ap-
preciative of her child's teacher,
another factor may arise. The teach
er, sensing that the mother is an
ex-teacher, may feel a little resist
ant to her and the mother in turn
impatient with the teacher. Wise
ex-teachers keep this human factor
in mind.
Answering Parents Questions
Q. Please suggest a corrective
program for 12-year-old bully.
A. Induce him to join the Boy
Scouts. Provide him with boxing
lessons so he can learn to protect
himself when attacked and not feel
the need of annoying weaker,
younger children. Help him win
more achievements at play skills
| that others of his age will admire.