Evening star., 1947-05-11

| Marshall: YES I can, yes I cam!
"Browder is Louder"
ANY squawk you can make, I
can laugh louder;
Just look at Browder-he's
louder than you"
Stain Grate): "No he's not.
Marshall: Eyes he is, yes he is!'
"I can drop rocket into your
hip-pocket,
Il can bounce uranium right
on Russia's Uranium"
Stain: II can use Trojan
horse"
Marshall: You mean that guy
Hank?"
Stain spoken: "Da!"
Marshall: I'VE think he's rank.
Anything you will trade, I will
take for him,
IT will swap screwballs for
rubles or hay.
A lusty Gridiron chorus repeated
You mean that guy Hank? We
think he's rank!" At once there
entered a figure representing Henry
Wallace, dressed in Boy Scout cos
tune, carrying a stuffed pig. soap
box, tennis racket, ear of corn, bottle
of milk, and a boomerang. This
outfit prompted the puzzled can
nibal chief to inquire: Who is you?
Santa Clause or UNRRA-or Sears,
Roebuck?"
Declaims From Soap Box.
Wallace identified himself as the
real representative of the American
people," and from his soap box,
declaimed:
The Truman Doctrine is all
wrong. We must all be brothers.
We must all be free ="
"Free?" asked the indignant cam
nibal chief. "You mean we doesn't
get paid? OATS treason. Throw dat
rcbber in the stew pot At once,
two guards lifted Wallace into the
pot. The chief warned the head
cook, "I ought to tell you-dat pots
cracked"
What a coincidence" commented
the Secretary of the Treasury.
From the pot, Wallace expounded
his philosophy to the tune, you
Can't Get Man With a Cum:
"Oh, I've travelled in England,
in Denmark and France,
Where ! go, I make everything
hot!
I can still feel the heat of the
seat of my pants
And now here I am in pot!'
"I do all my palm with Uncle
joey Stain
For with me, he is No. /,
And I think getting frisky
With Stains mighty risky
For you can't win the peace with
gun.
I feel optimistic that my pals
Communistic
Are just filled with good will and
fun.
1t would be much more cozy if
we played ring-a-rosy
For you can't win the peace with
gun"
Churchill Dulles Chant.
While Wallace simmered, Winston
Churchill and John Foster Dulles,
Republican adviser at the Moscow
conference, entered. In para
phrase of one of his own famous
lines, Churchill informed Dulles:
"I did not come here in the eXpec-
tation of presiding over the lique-
faction Of Henry Wallace
Nor" replied Dulles, did I be-
come President Truman's first Re
publican Minister in the eXpecta-
ton of presiding over the liquida-
ton of the British Empire
But, facing the facts, Dulles sang
to the tune of California, Here I
Come"
Wayward Bus Skit.
In another skit the COP Way
ward Bus" carried a load Of passen-
gers who were one and all dressed
IN the coats and caps of bus drivers
First to debark were characters rep
resenting Carroll Reece, Republican
national chairman, and Senator
Wayne Morse, dissenting Repub-
lican from oregon.
But, facing the facts, Dulles sang
to the tune of California, Here
come"
Morse refused to ride further "ir
this cockeyed Republican bus. II
doesn't know where it's going.
Reece differed: The bus, he said
knows where it is going, but lis
lust not sure how to get thereF
| Ever since the Republican Party
cut loose in that vehicle, Morse
reioined, ''it has turned down Econ
on1y avenue, backed up Budge1
boulevard, skirted Lilienthal lane