davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star., 1947-12-14

directed by Charles Luckman wss
ribbed, with Mr.. Luckman attempts
ing to speak, but suffering interrupt
tions. \
The dinner closed with q visit 70
DR.. Truman's clinic. AS the oyches,
ira played I'm going Crazy" DR..
j. Howard McGrath, Democratic
national chairman, was found
studying charts, an occupation
which was interrupted by the entry
Of John @. Democrat. John @,
asked If this was DR.. Harry's clinic.
Come right in," was the reply,
I'm DR.. McGrath, DR.. Harry's first
assistant-if you don't count Clark
Clifford"
Like Boom That's Busted.
John @. told the doctor that he
was nervous and heard noises,
Like boom that's busted. I dream
about voters being untrue to Swami
Truman"
DR.. McGrath called in his staff OF
1nternes and nurses. John @. sang
to the tune of "Swanee":
Swami, what is wrong with u
my psychosis?" -
DR.. McGrath declared that he
knew just the brave men to attend
to this situation and told an at
.tendant to Go get those fellows
who want to be Vice President"
They entered, singing: 70
I'VE are 20 hopeful gents }4
Making like Vice Presidents"
Henry Wallace entered in some
confusion, accompanied by an at.
tendant. Upon being questioned he
said. Il am Yogi Henry Wallace.
This Is the lousiest clinic I've ever
been in" =
The attendant insisted that
Wallace thought he was being
cheered each time he got the bird,
and urged the Yogi to tell, EN-"
Wallace did with the following song:
I wonder who's kissing me
now"
After the song an attendant In
formed DR.. McGrath that Yogi
Wallace dreamed about Tom Clark.
It's a Nightmare. -
THAT weren't dream" said an.
other attendant. It's a nightmare.
"Why, we've got Tom Clark right
here" said DR.. McGrath and
ordered the nurse to get the AT
torney General out of Ward g." ~
And Mr.. Clark sang:
"I'll sue them in my dreams
Jail them with my schemes"
Clark's song was followed by ths
entry Of the Democratic authors
Byrnes, Madame Perkins, Farley, Ell.
lott Roosevelt, Hull and Morgen-
thau. Jim Farley, under questions
ing, admitted that. Il found a guy.
who could spell the words. He wrote
mine"
And Jimmie Byrnes said, "Au I
know is shorthand"
Morgenthau, after saying, "All I
know is what they wrote in my
diary" sang to the tune of "Smoks
Gets In Your Eyes:
"They asked me how I knew, -,
What I wrote was true.
I, of course, replied
Secrets from inside
Cannot be denied"
DR.. McGrath then presented Sem
ator Claude Pepper, clad in a red
straitjacket, who said:
II perceive you have concluded I
am working both sides of the street,
including the middle" With which
he announced the presentation Of
Secretary of Defense James For
(See GRTDIRON, Page A-7.5
Evening star., 1947-12-14
The tukeymust be well Smoked out.
But Stassen leaves no room for doubt.
Unless an allegations true,
He'll spurn the alligator, too.
From the Gridiron Menu,

The scene was supposed to repre-
sent the first graduating class OF 200
per cent American Federal employees.
One rather bedraggled-looking in
dividual constituted the entire class.
The various officials, in turn, certi-
fed that he was entirely harmless.
Mr.. Robinson, for instance, at
tested to his loyalty,
Because he never, never
Contained a thought inside his
wooden head"
The loyal Government worker was
invited to express his sentiments.
He rose slowly and said: "Yup, yup,
yup. I amt heard nothin'; I amt
seen nothin'; I amt done nothin.
When does my sick lease start?"
To the North Pole.
The state of foreign affairs was
interpreted through the medium of
a presentation which took the Grid
iron audience to the North Pole,
where two Eskimos were bemoaning
their fate.
But just then. Representative
Christian Herter and q chorus Of
Congressman in hobo clothes en-
tered. When the Eskimo asked the
purpose Of the mission, Herter
replied:
MY friend, we've been done. Never
have so many nations done one ma
ton for 50 much, so thoroughly, SO
help me. What we're looking for
now, sir, Is some reverse Marshall
plan. You know-we git-they give u
Looks like Santa Claus is busted"
said one of the Eskimos in an aside,
which caused Representative Herter
to suggest that Senator Bridges tell
them just how busted, weary and
homesick they were. Senator Bridges
utilizing the tune I'm an Old Cow
Hand" sang in part:
I'm fugitive from the Senate
floor. >"
In two more verses Senator
Bridges dealt with the transforma-
ton Of Representative Dewey Short
from an isolationist to an interna-
tionalist, and of Senator Curley
Brooks conviction that none Of the
nations he had visited would refuse
a loan.
Just then Secretary Marshall ap-
peared, riding in on the beam of
aurora borealis, and he was urged
by the first Eskimo to tell the starv-
ing Eskimos about his plan. He re-
sponded in song, the refrain of
which was:
"Oh, there never was plan just
like my plan;
It's plan that even I don't un-
derstan'."
In Come the Russians.
Presumably because of the men
ton of the Marshall plan, in came
the Russians, Vshinsky, Gromyko,
Molotov and Stain, very noisy and
very abusive. The Russian leader
pointed to the igloo at the back of
the stage:
who lives there-Warren Aus
tin?"
Don't mention that man to me-"
said Vishinsky. Every time I hear
his name I think of the United
Evening star., 1947-12-14
1eurneses d Beef, Bearnaise,Tah
Fmd d Artichoe Jhrdiniee Radoes Rr;sienns
The beefins seasons in full swing.
Some beef lnWfnter, some in Spring
Some 3 a fawrite topic cling,
But Bob can beef at anything.
From the Gridiron Menu.

Prom the Gridiron Menu.
Nations - console myself with
thoughts of Yalta.''
This was cue for the song:
"Yalta, Yalta, Yalta,
Makes Vishinsky cry"
Molotov peered into the igloo and
announced that he could see the
whites of some ones eyes.
Don't Shoot" said Vishinsky
wait till he turns his back"
Molotov demanded that the in
habitant of the igloo appear. A
very disheveled-looking Uncle Sam
emerged. He was wearing the ira
ditional hat and whiskers but clad
only in red underwear. He put on
a barrel which was beside the igloo.
Vishinsky tweaked Uncle Sans
whiskers and said: $50 this Is Uncle
Sam, the great war-mongering
money lender who is down to his last
barrel"
very funny" said Stain.
Bedraggled Bevin Emerges.
Ernest Bevin, bedraggled, clothing
torn, with black eye and a badly
mauled hat, emerges from the wings
Where are you from, brother
what's your name, and uh--what
hit you?" said one OF the Eskimos.
u just escaped from a friendly
little meeting of the British Cab
met" was the reply. Trying to rep
resent all is European nations. The
names Bevin-Ernest Bevin. Well
fellows, what's free around here
mean what's new?"
President Truman's recent refer
ence to the police state" were satir-
lied in brief skit. In the center of
the stage was platform with pink
frame, duplicating the cover of the
Police Gazette. The scene opened
with the orchestra playing And the
Band Played On" and couples dane
ing on the stage and chatting mer-
rily. A police inspector entered the
room, blew his whistle and an
nounced that the main event of the
evening, the presentation of the
queen, was about to take place. She
had been chosen, he said. by a jury
of distinguished enforcement Of
ficers. They proved to be Leon Hen
derson, Prentiss Brown, Paul Porter
and Chester BoWles.
Miss OPA Breaks Through.
Following a tremendous fanfare
and with loud cheers Miss OPA
broke through the pink tissue paper
frame, clad In a Gay Nineties bath
ing suit, with high heels and crown
She came to the front of the stage
and gesturing with her sceptre to-
ward President Truman, said:
"Oh gee, Harry, If they love me
on Capitol Hill In December as they
once loved me in May, what will
the Republicans do for an issue
next November?"
The food conservation program
Evening star., 1947-12-14
Continued From First Page.)

Adams, Washington correspondent
for the New York Sun, was elected
president for 1913, and Richard Will
son, Washington correspondent of
the Des Moines Register and Tri-
bune, vice president.
Walker S. Buel, Paul r. Leach and
Lewis Wood we're reelected as treas
urer, secretary and historian, re-
spectively. All of the officers, to-
gether with James L. Wright, Lyle
C. Wilson and Thomas Stokes, will
constitute the Executive Committee
for the next year.
Norman w. Baxter was initiated
into the club during one of the skits.
The music program was provided
by United States Marine Band Or
chestra under the direction of Maj.
William F. Santelmann, leader of
the Marine Band and musical di-
rector of the Gridiron Club.
Truman Heads Guests.
The distinguished guests, headed
by the President, includes justices of
the Supreme Court, members of the
Diplomatic Corps, cabinet members,
military leaders, congressional lead
ers, prominent personages in the
newspaper field, outstanding finan-
cial and political figures.
The entertainment program
opened with the introduction Of
Miss Initiation and Miss Erp, to-
gether with the entire Gridiron cho-
rus, who, while gazing directly at
the President, asked:
Papa, won't you dance with me?
Oh, dance with me tonight"
Miss Imitation, in her version Of
the song, said:
And We'll send prices up, and up
We'll go,
Right off the ground we'll 60 80
I love high living"
Miss Erp, when she used the same
song as a vehicle, sang:
Papa, take a chance with me,
And dance with me tonight. 80
Il love the dollar"
Ghost Town Skit.
The ambitions Of the ayowed and
suspected presidential candidates
Evening star., 1947-12-14

II R. schreiber, Washington; Ed
ward w. scudder, Newark Evening
News; Edward w. Scudder, Jr"
Newark Evening News; Gideon Sey-
mour Minneapolis Star and IT'D
me. DR. Byron G. Shaffer, Toledo:
Henry D. Sharpe, Providence, Il. L.
Rey DR. Charles w. Sheerin, Wash
ington:. Maj. Gen. Lemuel G. snep-
nerd ir.. U. S. M. c.; Darwin W.
SHERMAN New York; Duke shoop,
Kansas City Star; Jouett Shouse'
washington; A. L. Shultz' TopeKa'
vans. g L. Simmons, Decatur, H.
! Harold Slater, International news
Service: Carleton Smith, Washing
ton: Hal H. Smith, New York Times
Hugh j. Smith, jr., New York; Rex
Smith. Washington; winthrop n
smith. New York; John H. Sorrelis'
scripps Howard Alliance; sioney
So,1ers National Security Councn'
Renresentative Spencer, Kentucky,
Charles E. Spencer, jr, Boston.
Marcy L. Sperry, washington
Samuel spewack, New York; YER
non S, spicer, Washington; Francis
E stann, The Washington Evening
Star: Harold E. Stassen, st. Paul.
MINI: Chester C. Steadman, Boston
post; James H. Stebbins, Washing
ton. Edwin l.. Steele, Boston; Jpnn
R Steelman, assistant to the Pres
ident; Representative stefan' Ne
braska; j. Hale ,Steinman, Ian
caster Newspapers, Inc; Senator
Stennis, Mississippi; Dr.. Raymond
A. Sterling, Washington; Robert "
sternberger, Hearst Corp; William
p Steven, Minneapolis Tribune; Roy
stockton, St. Louis Post Dispatch
Thomas L. Stokes, United Features
syndicate; Walker Stone, Scripps-
Howard Alliance; Holly Stover,
washington; Leland Stowe, New
YORK: Harold Strauss, Washington;
Lewis L. Strauss. Atomic Energy
Commission; Gael Sullivan, DEM
ocratic National Committee; MARX
Sullivan, New York Herald Trabune
Syndicate; Arthur Hays Suizberger,
New York Times; Henry Suydam,
Newark Evening News; D. Walter
swan, Chicago; Arthur Sylvester,
Newark News; M. s. Szymczak, Fed
eral Reserve System.
Evening star., 1947-12-14

Edward K. Nellor, New York Sun;
Fleming Newbold. Washington Eve
ming Star; E. l.. Newhouse, New
York; Howard G. Nichols, Washing
ton; Admiral Chester w. Nimitz,
Ernest E. Norris, Washington;
Robert L. Norton, Boston Post;
Crosby S. Noyes, Washington Eve
ming Star.
Evening star., 1947-12-14

Monitor: Howard F. Dugan, New
York; Stanley Duhig, New York;
DR.. E. A. A. Dunn. Bethesda, Md;
Henry B. du Pont, Wilmington,
Del; George E. Durno, Interna-
tional News Service.
Stephen T. Early. Washington;
Mariner S. Eccles, Federal Reserve
System; S. B. Eckert. Philadelphia;
Arch Eddy, Washington City News
Service; Dr. Hugo Einstein, Wash
ington; Ralph A. Elliott, Arlington.
Va; Herbert Elliston, Washington
Post; Col, Charles Ennis, United
States Army; Col Humphrey N.
Erwin, United States Army; Morris
d. Erwin, Cincinnati Times Star; =;
Silllman Evans, Nashville Tennes-
sean; Silliman Evans, jr., Nashville
Tennessean.
Edward P. Farley, New York;
James A. Farley, New York; Sena-
tor Ferguson, Michigan; Carter
Field, Bell Syndicate; Richard L.
Field, Holiday Magazine; Thomas
K. Finletter, New York: Nat S.
Finney, Minneapolis Star. and
Tribune; Bernard T. Fitzgerald,
Washington; Dewey L. Fleming,
Baltimore Sun; Robert v. Fleming,
WASHINGTON. r M FIvnn New York
Daily News; Raymond M. Foley,
Federal Housing Agency; John Cliff
ford Folger. Washington; Edward
T. Folliard, Washington Post; Mark
Foote, Booth Newspapers; Frank R.
Ford, Evansville Press; Henry Ford
II, Detroit; Rear Admiral James
H. Foskett; Robert M. Fowler,
Montreal; Julius Frandsen, jr.,
United Press Associations; Kenneth
H. French, Washington; Edwin S.
Friendly, New York Sun.
Evening star., 1947-12-14
Nc.

William D. McAdams, Washing
ton; DR.. J. Harold MacArt, South
Orange, N. j.: Kenneth P. Mac
Donald. Des Moines Register and
Tribune; William r. McAndrew,
Washington; Eugene F. Mcdonald,
jr., Chicago; Neil H. McElroy, Gin
cinnati; r. H. McElroy, Chicago;
William J. McEvory, Washington;
Edward F. McGinnis, Senate ser
geant at arms; D. Harold McGrath
superintendent, Senate radio gal
Evening star., 1947-12-14

Ralph S. Damon. New York;
Jack B. Darragh, Washington; WAL
ter Davenport, Golfers Weekly;
Joseph E. Davies. Washington; M.
Smith Davis, New York; Saville
Davis, Christian Science Monitor;
A. L. Dave, Montreal, Quebec;
Harry A. De Butts, Washington;
Admiral Louis E. Denfeld; Capt.
Robert l.. Dennison; Ludwell Denny,
Scripps-Howard Alliance; C. Leo
De Orsey. Washington; James c.
DerieuX, Golfers Weekly; Thomas
w. Dewart, New York Sun; Thomas
E. Dewey, Governor of New York:
Cecil B. Dickson, Gannett News
papers; Richard c. Doane, Montreal
quebec; William B. Dolph, Wash
ington: Ralph j. Donaldson, Cleve-
land Plain Dealer; William Donald
son, Supt. House press gallery;
Arthur F. Douglas, New York
George E. Doying, McGraw Hill
Publications; George Alexander
Drew, Premier of Ontario; Roscoe
Drummond. Christian Science
The Key West citizen. [volume] (Key West, Fla.) 1879-current, 1947-08-28
PLANNING BOARD
Editor, The Citizen:

Editor, The Citizen:
In a recent issue of your news
paper l read the names of the
members of the Planning Com
mission and wondered why no
native Key Wester had a place
on the commission. 1t seems that
on boards or commissions for city
Improvement, at least one mem
Der should be a Key Wester.
The natives have stuck to their
island home through all kinds of
vicissitudes. They may not be
wealthy enough to engage law
yers conversant with legal tech
nicalities. to circumvent their
properties being sold for taxes.
On the contrary, the Key Wester
may be so poor he has to stand
by and see the roof sold over
his head to newcomers who are
here, not because they love the
Key Westers, but because they
can get what they want for the
proverbial song. How beautifully
they are doing it is obvious.
When Key West was in the
hands of Key Westers. it was the
second largest city in Florida.
What is it today? Don't all speak
at once. Key Westers have stuck
to their island when all the
Moses who were to have led
them into the Promised Land
had folded their tents like the
Arabs and stole silently away to
better pickings and greener
fields.
Our schools turn out graduates
each year. They are we'll educat-
ed young men and women. Why
cannot they be given positions,
even if honorary. on boards and
commissions to carry on as did
their forefathers. with courage
and integrity? Their fathers and
forefathers thought it an honor
to serve city and county without
remuneration of any kind. The
motto now seems to be, in con-
nection with everything in Key
West, What do I get out of it,"
If there is any way to get
back to the days when Key West
was KEY WEST, for the Good
Lords sake, let's not delay in
finding it.
J. B. PRIMBLE.
Key West. Fla,
Aug. 81, 1947.
The Key West citizen. [volume] (Key West, Fla.) 1879-current, 1947-08-28
SHOOTER
BY GAMER ON DOcKERY

bulky shape as they piled into the
truck then remembered that the
huge Scandinavian had gone
down to spend the evening with
Lily, the half-breed. Funny he
hadn't returned, Doug reflected.
Lily was an Indian but she lived
with her. sisters family and Nor
way had once remarked that they
had strict concepts of morality
too strict, he confessed, to suit his
easy-going ideas of romance.
The truck pounded through the
night, the big hard wheels joiting
over the ruts of the old skid
road. After hey passed the Lar
sons house a glow was visible in
the sky and the speculative
grumbles of the loggers swelled
to a chorus of curses.
Larson luck! This makes
the seventh damn calamity in six
months! Yeah, and I'll bet
this wasn't no accident either. -"
Doug's eyes left the road a
second to scrutinize the glare-lit
face of the man squeezed in be-
side him. what do you mean
either?"
The man glanced at him IN sur
prise. "Oh hell, Andrews, we all
know that wasn't no accident
that wrecked Elmo's hand-the
cable was cut"
"HoW do YOU known" y
The logger frowned then
shrugged. Il forget just who told
me but the word has gone around
camp. Didn't you hear it," -
"Then you couldn't really call
it bad luck, could you. if it's de-
iberate." said Doug.
a S THEY swung into the road
\ that curved along the Inlet
Doug saw that the entire town
had turned out for the fire. A fire
of any sort was menace to a
small community of frame houses
but fire in the Larson Lumber
yard meant a loss of livelihood
to at least half the population as
well.
Luckily there was no wind.
The breeze that had ruffied the
Sound during the afternoon had
died and the flames scared
straight into the air, lighting the
square glass panes of the office
and the sweating faces of the fire.
fighters with a garish orange
glow. Doug saw that the blaze
seemed to be conferred near the
refuse and sawduSt piles but only
The Key West citizen. [volume] (Key West, Fla.) 1879-current, 1947-08-28
~ Msvvsfsesssss

yards separated it from stacks d
resinous fresh-milied lumber. 5 !
He pulled to screaming stop
at the end of the piers and TIE
truck 'disgorged men like 4 perch
spewing forth her young. They
raced for the shed where forest
fire fighting equipment was kept
and seconds later had joined the
group already combating TIE
blaze. -
Elsa was on the side lines with
a hose filling the fire pumps 20
that men could get into spots
where the hoses wouldn't reach.
She was too busy to more .thaA
stare at him soberly but after
fifteen minutes he paused ~
wipe his face and cross to her
side. S .ff;s.t
Looks like it's about licked,
Elsa. That shed is a conner but
the rest of it is mostly sawdust.
You haven't lost much lumber
Thanks to all of Queet's IN
let" she said dryly. Doug, do
something for me-see If you can
find Grandfather and see il he's
all right. This excitement is bad
for him but I couldn't keep him
out of it. -
Doug moved around the4 row
Of wooden buildings, peerinE
into the faces of the bystande1s
yet knowing that old Sven. Lar
son wouldn't be idly watching
his mill burn. He, came back and
inched, around to the other side
of the blaze and there he found
him. He was directing three u
the younger village boys, having
them hose down the roof Of .
shed. His orders were barkkd ,9ut
in a crisp incisiye voice s4Ad
Doug grinned. Elsa had no cause
to worry. - n X
Then his eyes went beyond ,the
old man to the inside corner
where he stood, almost protec-
lively, it seemed. Doug's nosttils
twitched. He strobe behind Lar
son and picked up a handful scf
cotton. waste. The reek Of kefO-
sene was overpowering. IL.
He was examining it j more
carefully when it was suddenly
snatched from his hand !. and
tossed into the burning sawdHSt.
1t -blazed up and vanished. The
eyes Sven Larson turned o.
Doug were ice-green and hard.
Forget you ever !: saw that
bOyi" he ordered 81
rs, (Ts be contiuuedj = :
The Key West citizen. [volume] (Key West, Fla.) 1879-current, 1947-08-28
Chapter Is

DOUG was sunk in sleep when
the phone rang. It had been
a dreamless sleep brought on by
the afternoon Of fresh air and
sunshine, bodily WEAKNESS and
mental satisfaction that the
friendship of the other loggers
had engendered. The shrill de-
handing tinkle of the phone shat
tered it as rudely as though one
of the lumberjack's steel-caulked
boots had come down on his face.
He was nearest to it and he
swung his long legs out of the
bunk cursing drowsily. The big
alarm clock with the radium
numerals was on the, table be-
meath the phone; he glanced at it
absently. Three forty. 80.
Three forty! Three forty in the
morning! Why would anyone be
calling the clubhouse now? His
hand fumbled for the receiver
and found it. Elsa's voice came
over the wire as though from a
great distance.
"Bill? Is that your"
Andrews speaking. Har d in
isn't here. Elsa"
"He isn't?" For a moment she
sounded strained, disappointed,
then. =. "Doug, round up the
men and get them down here,
will you? There's a fire at the
mill-we need help to keep il
from spreading"
"OK, We'll be there"
He answered automatically be-
fore his stunned brain, could
grasp the fun meaning of the
words. Then he switched on the
brilliant light hanging from a
long cord and swung it around
the big room, flashing it in the
faces of the sleeping loggers.
They muttered angrily, shielding
their eyes. His words brought
them upright in seconds. but he
was already ahead of them, pull
ing on his boots and trousers and
racing for the truck. He had the
engine roaring when the rest OF
them emerged.
There were only thirteen be-
sides himself. The married men
were down at the Inlet with their
families and the other single log
gers hadn't yet struggled in from
their weekend in the city. He
looked around for Norway's
The Key West citizen. [volume] (Key West, Fla.) 1879-current, 1947-08-28
Peoples Forum


The Citisea weAeomes express
siOns OF tho views Of its read
ers, but the editor reserves the
ranted. The writer's shOuld he
fair and cOnfine the letters to
800 words. aud write ON one side
or the paper only. Signature Of
the writer's mast accom- pany the
letters and will be Published I'm
less requested otherwise.
The Key West citizen. [volume] (Key West, Fla.) 1879-current, 1947-08-28
CAN DOWNS PLANE

OMAHA-Annoyed by DOT
spraying plane flying over the
lake where he was fishing. a
man heaved a beer can at the
plane and it went into the pro-
peller. The pilot had no trouble
landing the plane at the nearby
municipal airport but repairs of
the propeller cost Give hours Of
flying tins"
The Key West citizen. [volume] (Key West, Fla.) 1879-current, 1947-09-11

Pretty Rats W. h a pood ~.
nn'ple II American sccrctar,cs
Who scek and enjoy tee cool sal,
nseexss IL the Baltic Sea island
paradise.
hahs couldn't get permission
to htis q ticket for the fast"
sssin % RucEen because she
works ioT the Americans. Five
eiRaft'tcS, though. did tine trick.
Ten hours later Babs descended
tom the UvCT-cFowdcd train AT
the mainland city ~ Stralsund.
tossed her pack Of potatoes over
une shoulder. Ia fled her two
t.sEs-one filled with clothing.
tlse other partially filled with
tos~i-snd walked down the
t~ath ~ the nearest fisherman.
We three cigarettes the fisher
tn@n FoNed nabs over Ia the is
lHnd thus enabling her 20 get by
ne Russians guards posted ON all
bridges
tisflinsfs who come to the re.
sufi with lnaded automobiles
tas'saliy dlsEorgc passengers and
tosAt MaCks before the bridge.
The Key West citizen. [volume] (Key West, Fla.) 1879-current, 1947-09-11

cross the bridge and check-point
with empty auto, and later pick
up their passengers who have
crossed over by row-boat. BabS
said:
when | went into reStaur-
ant, the waiter asked if | had po-
tatoes. No potatoes. no meal.
When l gave him two pounds of
raw potatoes, usually received
one pound of cooked ones on my
plate"