The Southern Jewish weekly. [volume] (Jacksonville, Fla.) 1939-1992, 1947-12-19
When Bereavement Comes
To a Jewish Family
BY RABBI DAVID B. ALPERT
Continued from last week.


The bereaved will also mediate and pray Neigh
oorS and friends may join these prayers. Privately
each member of the household will devote himself to
tnoughttu reading of the prayerbook and Bible He
Will IND In Psalms and Job las recommended by an
clent radltlon comfort to uphold him and to guide
MS questions They will ponder the meaning of life
py taking to heart the significance and meaning of the
life just closed for them.
The family should eat their usual foods Ancient
custom advised eggs as light diet and reminiscent of
innortallty The family rarely over-eat, should
ey encourage any member of the household starve
himself Housework should be minimized but not neg
lected Necessary shopping, and the preparation of
meals must continue Full preparations without inter-
fuptlon, Tor the Sabbath, and approaching holy day.
must continue as we'll as full observance.
Friends and neighbors welcome at the bereaved
home The mourners need not offer usual hospitality.
They 90 not serve the guests accompany them to
the door and are excused from normal social amenities
The friend and neghbor, coming to pay respects does
not seek to be entertained but to bring his comfort
Ii members Of the household wish to sit on boxes
Gather than chars) they may Or they may wear bed
room slippers instead of Shoes None of these things
have any value in religion way the other Such
Things are determined by personal comfort and TASTE
Visitors will pay no attention to such things
The members of the family will stand to recite the
Kaddlsh publicly at all services for the eleven months
following, as well on the annual Yorhzet It is
proper to attend Bar Mitzvah and marriage services
for these essentially religious services And they
will visit friends to whom bereavement may
SUMMARY
Often, death means broken home. The family
ties must continue strong and cordial to prevent
OF tragedies LnaC often follow broken home The
comfort of friends and the union of members of the
family protect against delinquency illness (mental
physically anguish of extreme loneliness and empti-
ness feeling that the world has tumbed with all it's
emotional disorders and lack of interest in necessary
activities blank heavness in the loss of responsible
ties loss of varied interests and ties in life Kindness
and consideration to the bereaved family brings relief
and equanmity in the early days Of bereavement The
comfort of friends protect and uphold the family
and prevent the evil effects of a broken home to get
started and help the family their way
The memorial week. and the DAYS following must
become Seftorture and self-isoation. They
not to encourage misery and despair and emptiness.
What were intended specific rules for the pro-
lection and comfort of the mourners has too often been
twisted without reason into terms Of punishment and
selfaffliction. The purpose of the rules
punitive Perhaps that is what happens when rules
are and the regulations too definite
The real intent and purpose of the rules forgotten
and they should be remembered Harshness and strict
not the intention, but only the needs of the
bereaved family.
The most faithful adherence to Jewish law has as
it's chief purpose what must still be thoughtful
consideration of the needs and comfort Of those in dis
tress who walk in darkness Respect their feelings.
Help them rebuild life and firmly Excuse them
from any task to which they not equal Permit the
mourners have rest and healing and consideration.
Assist them through prayer to regain strength and
composure Enable them through reflection upon the
life recently closed to find cheer and example and
gratitude
Death comes but once to person. That blow is
heavy punishment to the sorroWing Do not dellber-
atey add to your pain and sorrow Bereavement can
come many times to every person. The loss of close
relative or true friend business associate we'll
remembered teacher kindly neighbor, is hard to
take and summon strong religious faith.
Through bereavement may find the meaning OF
life and the duties we owe the living Turn your
orets into service and kindness for Others Pepetuate
the memory that you hold sacred by work that you
undertake unselfishy for the good OF others Find new