The Wilmington morning star., 1947-12-30
AS Pegler Sees 1t
BY WESTBROOK PEGLER
Copyright, 1947, by King Features
SYndicafe Incl

BY WESTBROOK PEGLER
Copyright 1947, by King Features
Syndicate, 1nc.)
In response to the clamor of those who
lwculd like to know more about Pegler, the
man. something warmer and moister than
the biographical data, I have persuaded
myself to say few words about my pets.
First, however, I should like to dispose of
Ia report now current which, like the facts
of life, is quite wholesome considered prop
erly, but capable of wicked or, at best,
highly unpleasant meaning to an evil mind.
that, though the Westbrooks am related
to the Franklin D. Roosevelt family. Sew
eral years ago this report was received in
a leering, anonymous letter which charged
further that Robert r. Mccormick and
Joseph Medin Patterson--the Mccormick
to that great, courageous leader, and to
me. l couldn't make up my mind whether
the charge was intended to disparage the
McC-P. Axis and me or Mr.. Big and his
loved one or to conjure plague O both
your houses, which incidentally is the cor
Gene Tunney will affirm, by contrast with
that sloppy approximation that Mr.. Big
tossed off at his press conference that time
when he estranged John L. Lewis. Mr..
Lewis, who drips quotations. Biblical and
Shakespearean, and dumbfoundS the mus
cleheaded clowns of the union racket who
attempt to handy memory gems with him,
probably was incensed as much at Franklin
for this ineXactneSs as for his own public
belittlement and this is one of those days
when l run out of time taking long wind
up and throwing to first and get called on
account of darkness and have to finish up
tomorrow.
In a spirit of jovial irony sent this let
ter to Captain Patterson, who was unpre-
dictable and so, instead of scraWling
across it when you say that SMILE and
returning it to me, what did he do but hire
a genealogist to run it all down? had for
gotten all about it until one day there
dropped down on my desk family tree
such as you have seen in the end-papers of
Henry the Eight and Louis the XIV bear
ing the professional cachet of man
learned in such research, which held that
we were indeed all members of one great
and occasionally illustrious family We in
clude among our kinnery George Washing
ton and by tenuous tracings most of the
presidents down to Lincoln and then, of
course after a jump, Theodore Roosevelt.
and the Astors and Vanderbilts as well
That precise honesty for which am noted
makes me admit that I take some comfort
in the statement of Mrs. Roosevelt - my
cousin, Eleanor, that is-that, although we
are lively and somewhat robustious fam
lily, given to contrarineSs and quarreling
nevertheless, in the great crisis of life we
close up like fist in a common defense.
The occasion has never yet occurred, but
this has given me to feel that in any swirl
OF ugly passion in any swell cafe or low
resort could count on the help of Cousin
Elliott handy man to have around, I have
been told.
More explicitly, was told one day of late
Dy man once invited to the White House
Tor lunch that as he stood there in little
room amid the happy family, with Mr. Big
at desk and my cousins, Eleanor and
anna, chatting unconcernedly, Elliott and
ms uncle Hall, my cousin, too you see. were
threshlng enormously about the floor, knock,
ing over fern-stands and a Rand Mentally
geographical globe in friendly facsimile
OF Stranger Lewis and Chief Chewocki. in
one one, fall to 3 finish in Memphis Cousin
Hail was lot of man in a fight or frolic.
put my friend, the luncheon guest. reports |
mat Elliott had just got his head under the
rungs OF chair when Eleanor said, serene
ly, boys, lunch is served
This and other chat about the home-1ife
OF my cousins put me in mind of the win
some circle in comedy called you can't
1aKe 1t with you'' some years back. The |
Iuncheon guest said that throughout the meal
I'M, tne old man was trying to tell some story,
put tnat the kids and Hall hollered him
down with wild schemes for making lot
OF money. He never could break through
tnelr service, although, when he went on
the air, people by the million listened and
some would hiss you if you sneezed. Make
lot OF money. Can't miss. Corner the mar
Ket on hose-nozzles; corner the market on
umorella-handles. Patent on pre-striped
paint, red, white and blue, for patriotic
occasions: White House brand martins
with pops John Hancock on the label HYDE
Park brand hot dogs-the kind the king and
queen ate. Hundred thousand shares, no par
value. Bond issue. Barney Baruch The
salt, please. Thank you.
In the play there was q Girl u1ho y,os
studying toe-dancing and was always put
ting her foot on the table and touching her
Iorehead to her knee. And a boarder Henry
HOPKINS ~ to the ife--popping in and out Of |
the celler where he was inventing a sort of |
atomc flrecracker for the Fourth Of Julv
tnat blew up the house in the third act. And
S1 ola gramp-that would be my cousin, Forbes
Morgan, the uncle of my cousin Eleanor
VINO told the fellow from the Internal Rev.
enue that he had never paid his income
YAK because he didn't believe in it. Ole
cousin forbes was just like that.
l oon't know just how Captain Patterson
sook II. HIS note was noncommittal. But
soi1le o1 tlme afterWard got note from Colo
mel Mccormick which began "Dear Cousin
Westbrook-" '-A'
He has got no kids Could he be fixing to
leave me the Chicago Tribune? Then II
would have to mess around with that dizzv
goloen gloves and the all-star game and
!earn to spell freight-train "frate- -trane"
AS pad as being cousin of Henry Luce and
ne leaves me Time when he dies and II
nave to learn to think backward and start
sentences in the middle like a Dam Kraut.
SICK yesterday NIT a Katzeniammer al
ready Yos Leopold Schultz, beetGng. >loald-
ing; oiding--:"