The Southern Jewish weekly. [volume] (Jacksonville, Fla.) 1939-1992, 1947-11-14
When Bereavement Comes
To a Jewish Family
BY RABBI DAVID ALPERT

hd no road nv every member of the family whether or
bereavement is imminent
Rabbi Aperts comforting sympathetic treatment OF
difficult subject sifuy written in an authoritative Se'
easy understand manner
The article gives clear understanding OF the
problems by those who suffer the loss OF oeo o
fully the questions When bereavement 0O''
what shall we dO?)
The loss of loved one brings the long dark night
of the SOUL Bereavement is hard to BEAR and puts a
sharp test emotions, for to comfort friend IN
his loss, taxes the best in us. When bereavement
comes, what shall we do!
The emphasis must be death. but must be
wholly on bereavement. AS it must to all men, death
comes but once to the human personality AS 1t must
to all men, bereavement may come many mes, each
time with tragedy. Death means a completely new
career for the deceased The transition from Life term
mates the familiar problems Of human emotions, and
has no parallel $50 far know among the living
Toward death and toward lfe-after-death need
the assurance and conviction of religious faith
Strong religious faith is also essential for the sur
vvors and friends of the deceased Bereavement COM
pels thought of life and Of living. Loneliness and
anguish land perhaps troubled conscence) accompany
bereavement, and many serious questions are asked IN
good faith One pay respect to the memory OF the
dear departed What opportunity is there to prove our
thoughtful regard in more convincing than some
times we showed during his lifetime? Many questions
turn on immortality and the meaning of life
Especially when the wound is fresh, bereavement
manifests intense desire Ito do the right thing Spe
cc rites and meticulous observances sometimes high
ly exaggerated the subject of inquiries on the right
thing. The general impression is that the bereaved
family expect elaborate series of strange procedures
as proper in the memorial week." Many false ideas
persist about Shivah.
Those who have just lost dear should be per-
mtted afull week in which to gather their strength
and to rest and from the emotional shock.
Shivah is the Hebrew for the memorial week,
taken from the usual Hebrew word for seven days.
When death comes into the household the immediate
survivors require immediate thoughtfulness and
ual consideration Because the family of the dear de-
parted may be in terrible torment of sheer inability
and stupor they require exceeding kindness.
The members of the household visited by death,
should be permitted week at home They will receive
the comfort of friends who join them in prayer 10
comfort those who is loving service toward the
living and the dead.
During the week of Shivah, the mourners
ept from everything ito which they do not feel quite
equal to-" The mourners relieved from ordinary
courtesies and amenities Every effort must be to
spare close family of the deceased from further
pain or misery. Remember that those who have just
had loss may feel everything blank and vacant and
dull ache, unable to change thought to pull them
selves together. They dependent upon friends to
help them feel comfortable The bereaved family
should be together much possible during Shivah,
and they should be protected from rushing into any
new ventures They should be excused from their
customary tasks and duties and employment, much
as possible The family relies upon friends who visit
for the pleasure of company and for kindly tact and
judgment which upholds those in despair.
The questions out of desire Ito do the right thing
show many people with mistaken notions about the
memorial week. They inquire of Shivah though it
only in artificial ways that respect to the depart
ed is given Sometimes misguided people advise arti-
fetal and dreary procedures, justify excessive and
fantastic morbid display of grief essential religious
exercises during bereavement The true values of reg
ous faith are thus often forgotten
True and high religion does not make the house of
bereavement into torture chamber of dismal rites