Tabor City tribune. (Tabor City, N.C.) 1946-1991, 1947-11-28

VOIum,e T'uo Number TWen
persons who can't eat sweet po-
tatoes. Some folks are allerglc
to T-bone and some to lobsterS,
but | can look at a sweet potalo
and break out with lavendar
SPOTS behind the ears. I've peen
to ii doctors but haven't tound
out why. Every one OF these
doctors elt sweet potatoes ana
thrive on EN-.
Mr.. McGougan then insisted on
taking me on an inspection tour
of the huge potato storage ware
houses and dehydrating plants IN
Tabor City. | broke out IN a
violent ash when | got a glimpse
of the first sweet potato.
1t was with great sense OF
relief that | finally finished the
ROUNDS Of the warehouses and
arrived at the Forest Inn where
the Rotary banquet was to be
held. When we walked IN the
food was already being placed on
the table. | WAS ushered to a
seat next to AL Williams, the
mayor.
| was just about to dive into
my turkey when | noticed some
yellow stiff stacked around the
! dressing.
What the heck is this?" I
WHISPERED to the MAYOR, point
! ING to the yellow stuff.
"Candind vans" the mayor
whispered back. And be sure to
eat EN-. because this is the sweet
potato center of the world. EV-
ervbc Tvs looking at you and
they'll be pretty Indignant if you
don't eat your potatoes.
| noticed quite Il number OF
RotarianS glaring at me, so l
eritted my teeth. grabbed fork
and harpooned Il hunk Of can
died vans. They were really de-
liciouS but | hadn't taken three
swallows before l noticed the
little finger on my left hand turn
ing pink. | immediately switch
ed from the candied vans to the
turkey.
Eat those vans" the mayor
warned. "Thcy're liable to
throw you out OF here if you
don't"
| finished up the vans and in a
few minutes l could tell by the
sensation between my toes that
| was developing athletes foot.
While | was scratching my left
foot with my right l observed
some reddish looking balls on the
Other side of my helping of tur-
kew. What the heck are those
ballS?" | whispered to the may
or.
Sweet potato patties," replied
the mayor. You can skip your
turkey. but if you pass up those
pattieS they'll never let you come
back to Tabor City.
There were three of those pat
ties and after l ate the first two
horrible bump began forming
on the tip Of my nose. 1t kept
growing until l could sec both
edges of it with my eyes.
| made fairly good after-din-
ner speech that night because
when | got up to talk | was itch
ing SO | put gestures into my
speech that Cicero would have
| given his right arm to have
known about.
One Of the most satisfying mo-
ments Of my life occurred Wher
Mr.. McGougan took me to his
home after the banquet and Mrs
McGougan brought out a big
plate Of cookies. | was SO glad tc
see EN- l ate nine of EN- anc
then remarked, "Theyre dellc'
ious, Mrs. McGougan! What are
they made Of,
This was Il silly question, be-
cause before l got the words Out
Of my mouth | noticed huge
purple splotch forming on my
| wrist.
Oatmeal and sweet potatoes,
answered Mrs. McGougan. Eat
two Of them a night and you'll
live to be lGO."
When | left Tabor City next
morning | had peculiar crimson
bumps all over my hips and knew
couldn't drive home in that fix.
| dashed to department store
to buy pillow, but the only
thing they had was a gaudy
pink one with tassels on 1t. l
was in a hurry so bought It,.
| hadn't driven nine miles be-
fore a highway patrolman stop
ped me and asked to see my drlv-
cr's license. But he forgot all
about it when he spied the pink
tassled pillow l was sitting on:
Boy, you ought to see this! -
he yelled to the other patrolman
who was sitting in the patrol cor.
Here's a guy in an old 1884
Chevrolet sitting on pink pillow
that cost more than his old auto
mobile!"
They scratched their heads Tor
30 minutes but couldn't think up
any charges against me.
! left them standing in the roac
gaping. And I'm glad OF 1t, be-
cause I'm just as allergic to high
way patrolnen as l am to sWee