Tabor City tribune. (Tabor City, N.C.) 1946-1991, 1947-06-20
I MEET
the incest
PEOPLE
By GLENN D. HITLER

Writers, like members of al
professions, have their own trade
journals, regular publications that
carry news of editorial needs and
items concerning future trends
of the markets.
One Of the most widely cir
culated is a Cincinnati monthly
magazine called "'Writer's Digest"
Each issue offers writers hints for
bigger sales, gossip about the
profession, and, most enjoyable
to me, several pages of personal
ads inserted by the readers.
These ads prove one point
writer's are weird people. Most
of the ads are inserted by per-
sons who have never fully real
lied their youthful dreams to be-
come great writers. Frustrated
people, they attempt through
correspondence, to release all
their crushed emotions.
There is always a good laugh
among the ads and if the readers
of this newspaper would like to
have lot of fun, they might an
swer a few of them.
In the current issue, one gentle
man stated:
cam writing a powerful Amer
lean novel, but | am most depress-
ed. Will some beautiful young
girl, who appreciates the brain
of coming great author, please
write. Freddie Finklestein, Jay
Col Drug Store, 1872 E. 4th ST.,
New York"
Poor Freddie. There he is with
all that genius and he's depressed.
think American womanhood
owes it to Freddie to appreciate
his brain. Write to him, girls.
You never know. You might get
a free soda out of him when you
are in New York.
At the other extreme from
young man who advertised:
Freddie's great confidence is the
Unusually stupid, utterly un-
talented, charmless, harmless male
creature, learning to write, would
like to correspond with equally
ambitious and similarly unen-
dowed female. Box 373, Beverly
Hills, California"
Now, there's man who'll new
er get anywhere in this world.
He's defeated before he starts.
The first requisite for success in
the writing field is the self-assur-
ance that there isn't a better
writer anywhere in the world.
Rejection slips correct this i'm
preston eventually, but it's a
good idea to start with.
This ad has appeared for the
past few months:
"Corsets wanted. literature
patterns, experiences on wasp
waists"
l don't understand that one
at all.
A gentleman from Kentucky
advertised this month:
"Tall and 26 wants CORE
spondenie with uninhibited ladies
fed up with conventions inter-
ested in having fun"
| can understand that one, all
right.
Even the sly old dodgers find
their way into the columns, like
the daddy who advertised:
businessman middle fifties,
plans to settle in Los Angeles,
would like to hear from capable,
attractive lady interested in s.
tablishing real estate office. Write
full details"
That sort of thing could work
into a good racke:. / always
wonder if there are people who
actually fall for a line like that.
Even the girls use the columns
as hunting ground. l am tempt
ed to answer this one:
"Petite miss, denure, sweet,
seeks love and companionship,
Prefer unattached gentleman, who
is dark, erotic, exciting"
According to the dictionary,
erotic means pertaining to, or
caused by. love; amorous." That's
me. kid. Woo-woo!
Of course, there are the few
advertisers who sneak into the
department assuring you that
they have the secrets to biz sales,
all of which you can have for
dime. Others guarantee t. type
clean manuscripts, correct faulty
grammar, and supply plots for
stories. But these are dull people
and | wouldn't care to know them.
Give me somebody who atver-
tises:
Wanted: partner for my
dancing feet. Waltz, polka (po-
fish hop). Am girl, "a, 5 tet
8 inches"
Sling me the Strauss, chi&. |
Pm on my way.
Here's another:
"You men who wish to admir-