The Wilmington morning star., 1947-10-21
AS Pegler Sees It
BY WESTBROOK PEGLER
Copyright, 1947, BY King Features
Syndicate. Incl

BY 1G0AGW
copyright, 1947, By King Features
Syndicate, Inc.)
NEW YORK, Oct. 20-George Spelvln,
American, being invited to Washington to
, state his views on universal military serv-
Ece, testified as follows:
-(Bv Congressman Sutch)-Mr. Spell
vim. this committee has invited you here
as the typical, dumb, simple, home-lov-
ing
Ably MIR. Spelvin)-Yes, I know, con-
gresham, and I cant say I blame you
altogether for thinking We are just dumb
dopes because even today people don't
seem to mind when you show how more
than 300 good American kids got taken
away from school, their jobs and their
families to clear away brush and build
roads on that cheap-skate's big estate
Q-(By Congressman Sutch)-Just a min
ute! Wait a minute, Mr.. Spelvin! After
all, you can't talk that way because, after
all, some things are sacred and l will
have to politely remind you
Ably Mr.. Spelvin)-Now you just keep
your shirt on your shoulders, Congress
man Blabgab, because you got me to come
here to Washington to give you my ideas
and, brother, you had better listen to
George Spelvin.
Q-(By Congressman Sutch) - Proceed,
George Spelvin, American.
Ably Mr.. Spelvin)-All right, you bet
your life Pm for universal military serv-
ice, but when I say military service l
mean learning to kill foreign aggressors
not learning to pass the cocktails and
canapes or walk the dog or mine the
baby for the officers. And, brother, l am
telling you that the Spelvins aren't going
to authorize anybody to grab up their
young sons right in their tracks and make
slave labor out of them on anybody's coun-
try estate. We have been living in this
country for a long time, us Spelvins. but
we had to wait until the four freedoms
for. the common nan to get snatched like
a Georgia chaiifgang to chop out under
brush and cut logs and lay private roads
on a millionaire's private property.
- (By Congressman Sutch) - Who
cleared what brush and built what roads
on what millionaire's private. property?
Ably Mr.. Spelvin)-The Spelvin boys.
more than 300 of them, in the 240th MP
battalion cut brush and logs and laid roads
on Franklin D.. Roosevelt's private prop
erty for soldiers pay and the rest of the
Spelvins paid their wages and paid for
their barracks and fancy dress uniforms
and meals and all. That's what.
Q-(By Congressman Sutch)-But, Mr.
Spelvin, he was our President and our
Comm snder-In-Chief
Ably Mr.. Spelvin)-Yes and he got
SIS 900 a year for the. JOB. And that Hyde
Park plantation was his own private prop
erty and, like his own wife wrote in her
book, he was a understanding chiseler
when it came to spending his own dough.
He paid the l~ow-downest starvation
wages for his farm labor and stable-help
and even that wasn't low-down cheap
enough so our good American soldiers
have to do it all for Army pay.
You listen to me, yor Congressman
Governor Tom Dewey has got a farm a
few miles away from Hyde Park. And
you would squawk your brains to the bone
it anybody should ever find out Dewey
used the crazy people out of the state
lunatic asylum to rake his leaves and
milk his cows. But old moosejaw just
picked up the telephone and told Stimson
to fix him up with a regiment of Spelvins,
not crazy, or c~onvicts, or ANYTHING except
their parents were feeble-minded enough
to vote crazy four times in succession
and maybe that was a crime against the
kids, at that.
-(By Congressman Sutch)-Mr. Spell
vim, would you mind, please, sticking to
the subject? What are your views on uni
versal military service to keep the sacred
heritage of the American hearthstone free
of the tvrant's cruel smirch?
Ably Mr.. Spelvin)-You heard me,
buster. The Spelvins are willing to serve
their trick in the Army. Navy or Marines
but military service doesn't mean free
landscape gardener service for the royal
class. 1t doesn't mean butler service and
free flying taxi service for generals and
cabinet people or maid service to dc the
homework or some s~elf-respecting young
Spelvin doing sitter-service for other peo-
pies kids when he wants to be sitting
with his own.
We don't call that military service. We
refuse to do it. And if you think you can
send the Spelvin boys to prison, you just
try it. But we are fed up on giving up
years out of the young life of their boys
to waste their nights sitting in the car
while these buns are putting on the
squirm in the big rumba Jocks or playing
bridge or I don't give a damn what they
are doing.
The Spelvin boys are ready to 60 SOL
diering only to protect the glorious old
United States of A against the foreign
aggressors like the Observation-Disclosures.
Our boys are not going to listen to a lot
of dirty, rotten Communists lecturing on
our duty to foreign lands no matter whose
noisy yarmouth wife says so. And they
are not going to risk their lives learning
to fly just so they can act as private
pilots for rich pars1ey-farmers like Henry
Morgenthau. We will just look them dead
in the eye, and tell them to politely 60
to
Q-(By Congressman Sutch)-The COM
~rnittee thanks YOU. Mr.. Spelvin.