The Northwest times. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1947-1955, 1947-04-04
WITHOUT SOLACE
Even Though He Hid Behind a Mask
Of1nSanity, It Didn't End Grief


| closed, her face calm, lifeless.
Old Benson. still holding her arms,
; looked long into the face of his
dead daughter. Following a quick
surge of horror and bursting grief
upon grasping the implication OF
JAMS strange conduct. he felt moth
ing. A Darkness peraded his mind
his eyes remained open but were
blind to the immediate surround
ings. In truth. he was like sense
less rock plunging downward thru
endless fathoms of the deepest
ocean.
Gradually, his senses trickled
back. His eyes. still astened on JAMS
lovely face. began again to see it.
Then came slowly the realization
once more of the terrible occurren-
ce. He felt sharp. fleeing pain
tabbing into his heart Again, came
brief period of inexplicable calm
followed by an overpowering sense
of sorrow and compassion. Sudden
ly and completely. new and
strange feeling flooded his breast.
1t was a kind of relief that took hold
of his mind and body and freed
them of their worries and exhaus-
ton.
Jan, DEAR" he whispered ten
derby, you'll take sick If you
sleep too much. Look! Look! See
what a nice, bright day IL is"
Rushing to the window, he hurled
aside the curtains. Sunlight stream
ed into the room.
Come. Jan. Look out the win
dow. You've never seen the fields
as beautiful as they look now"
Old Benson walked back to the
bed with eager steps, flung the
covers off the still form of his
daughter and, carefully taking her
into his arms, returned to the win
dow.
Holding her so that she was facing
out through the window. he sat in
the old rocker and Weaved slow
ly back and forth. Softly, he spoke
to her. See how clear and sharp
everything looks. There's Sarah in
the lower pasture She's real fine
COW. The trees look so nice too, and
the grass and crops, they're nice.
Everything's nice, everything. Calm
and lazy and peaceful too. Every
thing is calm and lazy and peaceful.
Green grass green trees, clean
fields calm law :. peace
full nice sun SO bright .
should be out should be out
With his strong fingers. Old Ben
sen brushed back JAMS thick, dark
hair. Yes, Jan dear, we shouldn't
be inside on fine day like this
The warm sun'll do us both a lot
! of good"
He adjusted her in his arms so
that her head was comfortably
nestled under his chin. The white
of his beard crushed softly into
her hair. He rose from the rock
err, and, leaving the bedroom,
| started down the stairs. His steps
were easy and steady and his
shoulders squared as if they had
neer been burdened with emotion.
The kitchen door swung open and
tall, gaunt woman rushed into the
lower hallway. Upon seeing her
husband and child the look of in
tense worry on her tired handsome
face turned quickly into one of I'M
comfortable horror. Benz You'll
kill herw
He stopped halfway down the
stairs and gazed with a family
amused smile at his wife. mo,
Emma. We're just going outside for
little while. It's such nice day"
mo. Ben. no! You don't know
you're doing! Jan mustn't be
moved. The strain will kill her.
Oh, my poor child. She :"
Emma stopped, her great concern
vanishing suddenly and her face
becoming distorted with grief.
With lips moving feebly, she trOd
hesitantly up the stairs. She star
ed fixedly at the tiny girl in Old
BenSOn's arms. Jan Jan :"
Weakly. Emma reached for her
child, but Old Benson would not
release her. Emma pleaded hysteri-
cally, Ben. It's happened. It's hap
pened. Jan has left us"
Old Benson regarded his wife with
a look of perplexity mingled with
humor. Jan leave us? Emma, how
could you say such thing. She's
just going with me for a short walk
in the fields Well be right back d
Giving his wife an assuring pat on
the shoulder, he started down once
more.
Emma reached prOtestingly for
her child again, but her fingers
were no match for the powerful
arms of her husband. Overcome by
fit of anguished snObbing, she
slumped helplessly onto the stairs.
Old Benson paused for a moment
at the doorway and hollered cheer
fully to his wife. Wen be back
before supper. Emma" Then he was
gone from the house with the child
in his arms.
A whole hour had passed before