Evening star., 1947-10-06
WhyGrow
Old?
Bv Josephine Lowman

To me, there is something per-
fectly horrible about age or matur-
ity when it feeds on youth! We
often observe these tmpositions
This is a natural error for parents
to fall into. Most devoted parents
have sacrificed for their children
and have given them every possible
advantage at the cost Of self-denial
for years before the children are
grown.
While would not give 2 cents for
boys or girls who do not feel deep
appreciation for their parents. yet I,
as a parent, never wanted my chill
dren to feel that they owe me any,
thing.
I derived enough pleasure out OF
the first few years. of their lives to
repay me for anything I could ever
do for them. While my husband
and I gave them the precious gift of
life and meticulous care during the
years of their dependency, this was
natural obligation, which we as
sumed when we had them. would
much prefer that any appreciation
and love they feel for me should
come from a liking and respect for
me as an individual, rather than
from a feeling of obligation.
Splendid young people love their
parents deeply, and If we have a
good boy or a good girl 1t imposes a
tremendous obligation on us not to
take advantage of these fine quail
ties. Their love for us makes them
so terribly vulnerable to any tyran-
ny we might impose. Yet we see
young people sacrificing their future
happiness to the emotional comfort
of their parents too many times.
We see mothers try through every
means tears included to keep their
children close to their sides until
death releases the younger genera
ton, often too late to realize the
dreams of early youth.
1 was prodded into this column by
a letter which came to me not long
ago from a young girl. It said, in
part: Because Of the high cost Of
living IL was necessary for me to get
a job. I disliked this job and
dreaded going to 1t every day, but
for a time I was carried away with
the pride I felt my mother expert
enced in having me help out by
bringing in such fine income.
"She is widow, and seemed so
terribly lonely that I gave in to her
wishes and spent all of my evenings
with her because I did not want to
leave her by herself. I have sud-
denly realized what has happened
to me. I have cut myself off from
all natural companionship and the
natural relationships with those OF
my own age. No one calls me after
so many refusals. I have come to
myself with the awful realization
that my mother is a very selfish and
ruthless person. What do I do
now?"
Well, do not be like your mother.
Apply human understanding to the
situation and forgive her, but es-
cape the net. All of this brings for
ward the thought that we just have
to invest in life, and If we give
selfishly, thinking of ourselves pri-
sooner or later 1t is going to
and come home to roost
in strange and unexpected ways.
We must throw our hats over the
goal post and give because we want
to give love, or even appreciation,
for our trouble. When giving our
selves in this way we cannot lose.
Usually we find love and true
thankfulness as a reward, but not
always. Sometimes we invest in
people who disappoint us, but we are
not bereft If we expected our divi-
dends from investment in life rather
than tokens Of appreciation from
those we benefited.
This attitude would simplify life
so much, and 1t seems to me that 1T
would revitalize II, too!