Evening star., 1947-02-26

A guest towel Henry McLemore.
consists of approximately one
square foot of gossamer, embroi-
dered with the initials of the lady
of the house and further embellished
with anything from dainty baby
blue forget-me-nots to coy green
elephants with vermillion trunks. No
sooner does a guest cross the thresh-
old than the guest towels, with cries
of "Goody, goody, now we can show
Off for the company" leap from their
hiding places in the cedar chest or
linen closet and spring to their posts
on the towel racks. One jump be-
hind them come the family tar
nished salad forks, butter knives,
sugar tongs and salt spoons, ready
to do their part in impressing the
visitors.
Use Everything but Towels.
But here is the mystery which has
baf1ed better minds than mine-if,
indeed, there be better mind than
mine (Which is extremely doubtfuD
Guests will use everything in your
house except guest towels, They will
drink your precious prewar butter
milk to the last drop, gnaw at your
hams and rib roasts till you could
use the bones for mirrors, fill their
cigarette cases from your cigarette
boxes, wear your shirts, shorts, socks
and ascot ties, and generally demand
more service than they would at the
Waldorf Astoria.
But they fear guest towels as a
celluloid doll does fire.
At present we have two house
guests. One is Bogart Rogers of
Beverly Hills, Calf, writer, who is
kindly, considerate Of his hostess,
empties ash trays, makes his own
bed and does his own laundry. He
is known to have handled as many
as Is assorted knives, forks and
spoons without a single tumble. The
other guest is Harvey Mcmillan of
Charleston, w. Va, pineapple of
politeness, whose ability at breaking
china and bric-a-brac is only sur
passed by his ability to repair same
with a special formula cement which
he takes with him wherever he goes,
and which is compounded for him
by the Board of Governors of Wedg-
wood, Limited.
Guest Towels Unsullied.
Mr.. Rogers and Mr. Mcmillan have
been with us longer than we care to
remember. But the guest towels in
their rooms are as unsullied as a
homogenized snowflake. They have
used everything else, however, in
drying their hands and faces. Like
all other guests they have used every
other object in the room which will
remove moisture from human flesh.
In his ayidity to avoid the fangs of
the deadly guest towels, Mr.. McMil-
Ian mas left more fngerprintS on
the shower curtains than there are
in the FBI files in Washington.
Mr.. Rogers, on the other hand,
is a bath mat man. Rather than
approach within striking distance OF
the guest towels, Mr.. Rogers grace
fully drops on all fours and daintily
dries his hands on the bath mat. A
week from now, when the bath mat
and shower curtains have been ex-
hausted, the chances are that our
guests will start utilizing the win
dow curtains and wash rags which,
in the presence of guests, l refer to
as wash cloths.
In an effort to make our guests
use the guest towels, We, substi-
tuted paper guest towels for linen
ones. On purpose, I did a little
eavesdropping-and what do you
think our guests were talking about?
What cheap skates we were, and
how they would go out and buy
their own towels If we were in such
straitened circumstances.
distributed by McNaught Syndicate, 1nc)