The Waterbury Democrat., 1946-01-19
.R MARY HAMnRTn

a NAaAeA 4AAN4VAAN& have Q fine husband two lovely children. For five years VIC have lived with my fatner-ln-law in his house. We have worked hard to make it the lovely place it is. Our hearts would break to leave lt. as the children have their church and school and oil their friends here And yet my father-in-lay, in little petty ways, Is slowly driving me
 He is Q good, sincere man and will buy the children anything, but ne is uncouth and rude, eats peas with his knife in front of them and laughs when try to correct him
 He will not keep himself or his be. longlngs clean, and when protest ne thinks ! am fussing over noth- ing.
 If chlde him he closes him. self In his room, refusing to talk or bother about anything, letting us bear the whole burden of house. hold upkeep. which does not hurt so much as the nervous strain we feel, knowing he is upstairs alone and that eventually I will have to go up and apologize and listen to Il long tirads about his being right in everything.
 Husband Takes Neutral stand
 I am at my wits end, and In spite of my best resolves to ignore his shortcomings and say nothing about them. am turning into a shrew and all of us are miserable. While my husband thinks his father is wrong, he also thinks I am somewhat to blame for being so nervous. And in view of the housing shortage, he feels we just have to bear it. He says every sit- uation has It's disadvantages. This has gone on for years and every year I have wanted to move, but placidly thinks things will work out.
 My father-in-law is financially in. dependent and I have asked him to sell us the house and go live with his other son, but he refuses as they don't get along. This other son says I deserve a spanking, that I shouldn't fret over him: but they turned him out of their house, a sick and miserable man. He threa- tens to stay there by himself if we move, and never speak to us again My doctor is treating me for nerves and advises me to move. But should I deprive my family of the advantages they have here. Just because cannot overlook the faults of an old man who is, in all probability, q much better person than shall ever be? Am I en. titled to home of my own, where I can regain poise and self-respect and lose this feeling Of inferiority 1 have? If we go, shall we worry continuously sbout his being all right, and so not find happiness after all? long to be a good wife and mother and feel that am failing horribly.
 G. K.
 Love of Money Root of Evil
 DEAR G. rI.: In vieW of your husbands easygoing nature, which inclines to the path of least re- sistance. only one thing keeps you under your father-in-law's thumb, really; for of course he has the upper hand of you, as well he 0AONos anu tAAdt OAAE llAlAlk lo NOuT greedy golddigger love of his money, a covetous app:tite which takes priority over your detestation of him-a detestation he doesn't mind feeding, it seems. for the mali cioVs satisfaction and sense Of power 1t gives him to make you bellycrawl to his moneybags for each time you register scorn of his uncouth self and repulsive idio- 
 It ts not my impression that he is a hne person. think he is rude ly and rriumpllantly selfish, as many elderly, well-heeled persons are in dealing with spongers: and that his free spending on the child ren is a eccentricity that just hap pens to suit you. which he indulges to please himself, not you or your husband. and likely also without regard for its probably spelling ef- fleets upon their character.
 It is significant that you associ- ate leaving with recovery of poise and self-respect, and with relief from a feeling of inferiority you have developed in process of trying I to take over his home as your
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