The Waterbury Democrat., 1946-02-12
BROADWAY solLooUIEs

BROADWAY SoLlLOQUIES
NEWSSTAND OWNER: IT'S q
laugh. This Is the Broadway they
write about rye been hawktn'
papers here for dozen years and
amt seen nothing yet with q sur
prise IN IL .,. The GrandeSt can
Won, winohel calls It. Canyon is
right No streets in n bigger hole
I amt preiidiSsed, understand,
/ make decent Twin outta the
stand But the peoplel They're
like animalsl They don't care
noth.n" for nobody, just where's
the Roxyp Where's the Music Hall2
where's Madison Square GardenP
And what's so much fun about
Broadway? It looks like
a has-been Coney Island, If you
asst me. When New Workers wanna
have a good time, they so outta
town But the hicks, they come
to Broadway. l got It oil figured
out Broadway would be good
street If all the locals stayed outta
town and all the yoEels stayed
home! Ha, Ha!
STRAIGHT MAN: Go ahead,
laugh at HIM. Gee, amt he funny?
Boy, he kills the people. l
wish you only knew how 1t broke
my heart to write those lines for
him, and now he's the big star
Sure I'm the unimportant glY-the
fall guy, the guy he could get along
without First chance l get |
team UP with another funny man.
But they don't grow on trees
And this chump is SO happy with
the glory of q few latis mes Wiling
to forget the 30 per cent for him
and the 10 per cent for me .
Gee, contracts are great things.
TICKET BROKER: At 8 O'Clock
mindya, he comes in and yells for
four somewhere in the first five
rows. He doesn't care what show
only it's gotta be a new one-some-
thing that opened this season
Well, l happened to have Just got
a cancellation on The Rcd Mill
and I offer him that. Is 1t new
he asks. l says, sure it's one OF
the new hits and before he asks
what / know all the jerks like him
aSk--T says no, 1t amt nothing about
Russia SO he takes 'em because
it's a new show. How do you like
that? Herbert Victor must be
turning over in his grave
BOOKING AGENT: This danes
got the whole thing figured wrong
I should be the one to beef. I make
things easy for her and she collects
80 per cent of every buck
Imagine, 80 full bucks out of every
C note. And what has she got. A
couple of bazoos . Looka me
fast talk and, boomo, the contracts
signed. Just let her try and get a
Job by herself--just let her try
Wonder If she's found out about
that deal I worked with the land.
lord on that apartment? Aw, shes
too dumb Paul, my boy
you're a genius 49,.
NOUVEAU RICHIE SHOW PRO.
DUCER-BLACK MARKETEER-
SHARPY-EX-CON: See this mon.
ogramm on my shirt? I got all my
shirts monogrammed. Got EN- OF
my underwear, too Looka thest
hankachiffS. Cost me ten buck
each I order 'em by the gros!
like good stuff See thi.
watch? You can get it wet, but i
still keeps going. Cost me $50 bucks
Did you see that heel in the
show called Born Yesterday
That's supposed to be me. So wot
Nobody can hurt me. I got plenty
of dough How do you like
the way this SHIT fits2 just or
dered ten OF them. Set me bach
a couple of hundred apiece. I only
like the best Especially i
the dame is stage struck .Anc
that's for free
LAW ENFORCER: Well, here
am clean broke, after IS years O
this game and boy, game is thu
name for 1t, judging by the pen
MES they toss me Come Il
think of it, it wouldn't be so bac
If pennies were the only thing