Evening star., 1946-08-28
Virginia Creeper' Resented

VII gina ATcepST NeScnteQ
To the Editor OF The Star:
While We are considering the cause
and cure Of highway accidents, let's not
overlook that moronic menace to mo-
torists, that unmitigated jerk, the vir-
ginia creeper.
Like his blood brother, the Kentucky
briar or weed monkey, he is completely
incompetent behind the wheel Whether
10 is too fast or 10 Is too slow, he
maunders along at an uncompromising
20. He is unalert. His reaction time
appears to be slightly under 10 minutes,
especially when the light turns green.
Does he heed your polite toot for the
right of way? VIII he drop his head
light beam on signal? You should live
SO long!
Does he stay in his lane on a hill or
curve? Will he stop for the red light or
the octagonal sign? Don't take 1t for
granted, bub, unless you yearn to see
the pearly gates.
Unlike his Kentucky counterpart, he's
not out to get you. True, it Is Of slight
consequence to him that you'd like to
use the highway, too. But ordinarily he
won't force you through bridge railing.
Ordinarily, that Is.
IT all the language directed at him
were radioactive as well as sulphurous
it would make the A-bomb blast look
like the output Of teakettle. And if
he were responsible for all the accidents
of which he is the primary cause he'd
be SO far in Jail they'd have to pump
air to him. That he Is seldom one of the
principals merely demonstrates the old
proverb that Providence looks after Ger
tain classes of individuals.
I suppose 1t would be too drastic to
declare an open season and bounty on
all Virginia creepers, since some human
1tarian undoubtedly would claim that
they constitute a subspecies OF homo
sapiens-a small point, and debatable.
Nevertheless. I'll settle for compromise
which will involve grounding all Of them
permanently. believe that would be
justifiable In the public interest, since
If they are allowed to run free, num-
bers of useful citizens are certain to be
killed. DAMYANKEE.
Mr.. Lawrence Versus Russia
To the Editor OF The Star:
1t is an axiom of abnormal psychology
that If you talk to yourself long enough,
you can convince yourself of anything.
Some of the wise men in our news
papers have been speaking Of war with
Russia SO persistently that now they
are almost ready to march on the Krem-
lin itself
Conspicuous among them is David
Lawrence, who has been listening to
himself for so long that he apparently
is beginning to believe his own non-
sense.
Now, any good journalist knows that
1t is all right to exaggerate, SO long as
you don't say anything palpably false.
1t is all right to suggest that: Russia
Is seeking an excuse to march on Turkey
and perhaps even to grab all Of Ger
many" 1t is all right to say that Russia,
which "collaborated" with Hitler, "can
hardly need an excuse If she wishes to
| pursue an aggressor course now" 1t Is
all right suppose-to say: g" If
America is attacked, public opinion in
the United States can be as volatile as
it was in Britain = =" Just so long as
Mr.. Lawrence does not insist that two
and two make five, he is being perfectly
| ethical
However, If Mr. Lawrence decides to
declare war on the Soviet Union, hope
he will have the courage to fight it him
self. I know one. veteran Of the last
war who will not offer himself to de-
| fend gentle Mr. Lawrence from the
Bolsheviks. FRANCIS PIERCE.