Browning chief. [volume] (Browning, Mont.) 1941-1953, 1946-02-08

" D"ySA S"o-SSAAt oeA>S
tax plan to help finance the SUBJ
way recalls the time Jimmy Walker
was State Senator and the legisla-
ture at Albany was arguing raise
IN subway tariff. State Senator
Nichol was against raising the fare.
Don't you think" GRATED Senator
Nichol, that the people of New
York City 60 too far for a nickel?"
Walkers retort: you've gone
pretty far-for a Nicholl"
The elder Edison hated wearing
dress suit. Mrs. Edison, however,
talked him into putting one on for
reception. The affair was
stuffy and Edison squirmed in dis
comfort. He finally told Mrs.
Edison he was going home. II can't
stand this doggone straitjacket!" he
groaned as he left.
At home, to make sure the SOUP
and-fish apparel would never bother
him again, Edison took hammer and
nails and nailed the suit to the wall.
:. There" he said when finished,
II hope you suffer as much as
didl"
It Could Happen: A group of brass
hats gathered to consider the for
nation Of Society for American
Participation in World War III and
w. The first speaker keynoted
the meeting by declaring: Regard
less of the so-called agreements
made by the Big Three, we know
sooner or later we will have to fight
another war! We will have to
fight Russia over many things-or
Britain over markets! And"
From the audience a voice hesi-
family inquired: "But, gentlemen,
isn't there something we can do to
PREVENT another WARP"
"What!" roared the chairman.
"Throw that un-American outl"
The mail brought this unsigned
contrib. A poet was irked by pest
who told him he could spend his
time more usefully cooking. The
poet ignored him. "Well," con-
tinued the bore, don't you think a
cook is more important than a
poet?"
The poet pondered and then said:
"I'm sure there isn't dog in town
who wouldn't agree with you"
"Wel, it looks like the honeymoon
between Truman and Congress is
over"
"Yeah, now he has good reason
for opip horpo RI v,ofhar -
Sounds in the Night: AT the Dia-
mond Horseshoe: "Relax, dearie, or
that halo will choke you to death"
-. At the Embassy: "They wrote
song about her, %, What Beau
:iful Moron!'" At the Zanzibar:
Dull? They named butter-knife
after him!" At Versailles: Hell
do anything for me, and I for him.
But I'm running out of right arms!"
-. Al the Golden Fiddle: George
Jean Nathan doesn't dislike actors.
Only those he sees in shows"
At Ciro's: "She was in a terrible
accident. She was having her face
lifted and the derrick broke"
Wilson Miners balm to newcom-
ers in the theater: Remember this
most of the time the stumbling
blocks which get in your way-will
merely be the dust you leave behind
tomorrow"
Faces About Town: Elliott Roose-
welt being mobbed by admirers
while leaving the "Show Boat" pre-
miere at the Ziegfeld Theater.
James Stewart introducing Marie
Mcdonald to Franklin D. Roosevelt
Jr. :. . George Jean Nathan with a
padre In the Cub Room Of the Stork
Reforming? Former Sec'y of
War Henry Stimson unrecognized by
the Pierre passersby. Damon
Runyon putting down candidates for
a column about celebs who talk
about themselves. Marion Muir
ray, whose betrothal to a General
was cancelled suddenly. trying to be
gay about it. . Candy Jones, who
has cold, at the Zanzibar ringside,
wearing (among other things) a
baby's teething ring. the inscription
on which reads: Don't Kiss Mel"
Sallies in Our Alley: A ham &C.
q