The Waterbury Democrat., 1946-03-20

Max Mefoofsky and exploded: one of my ancestors signed the Dec laration of Independencei"
 "Oh, netz" yelled Max. "One of my ancestors signed the Ten Com mandmentsl"
 A famed society woman is quite bore at parties because she in- sistS she is the reincarnation of famed women of centuries ago.. Whenever anyone starts talking she invariably interrupts with:' T was an Egyptian Princess 4,000 years ago, and you are right"
 The other evening this character pulled 1t on Greek diplomat, who kept gabbing when she popped off She interrupted again with: Tt wasn't like that when I was with PocahontasP'. P'.... The Greek glared but went on She inter- rupted again with: You act as though you don't believe me when I say lived 4,OO0 years ago."
 Madam" he bowed, T don't you look 1000 years younger"
 Chuck Barnett was at the Stork bar and saw patron getting we'll loaded "Whatinelrs he tryin' to do?" he asked Jimmy at the bar.
 Win an Oscar, I guess" was the snapper.
 In Miami Beach Chico Marx is at the Beachcomber and the Ritz Brothers are at Copacabana |. For a fortnight one of those planes flew over the city with streamer reading: Chico Marx-now at the Beachcomberl" The other day a second plane tailed 1t, the stream CT warning: Don't goI Ritz Bros."
 Yank mag's Jim Kenney (when 1t was published in the Pacific sec tor) tells of the atomic bomb scien- tist, who had a dream that he was working on a super bomb when it accidently exploded killing every living thing except two monkeys When one of them recovered from the shock the male turned to his mate and said: "Lissen, Doll- puss, think we'd better make our future platonic-Darwin may have been rightl"
 A New York official (who was searching for temporary home for UNO) reported to the committee that when he applied for space at Hunter College he received Bronx cheer.
 "The Bronx cheer2" echo'd an- other. Isn't that nice2 At least we are welcome somewhere"
 When Ray Midland joined Rags Ragland for dinner at TootS' 1t was so busy--it was almost half an hour before Toots came over. Before he arrived Midland won- dered where TootS was .. He probubblys down in the cellar" said Rags, "boining the 1941 prices!"
 'SThese Are the Russians" tells this one: Before the war one of the most popular Soviet writers courted an actress by writing pas sionate verses to her. Some ot them were printed In newspapers and mags. (Egad, Russians also like goS- slpD All Russia followed the TO- nance breathleSSly. The verses were collected and published together with many more intimate ones. When @ publisher asked Stalin for his opinion of the poetry. Stalin scoffed: That's the kind of book which should have been printed in TWO copies. One for him and one for herl"
 NOtre Dame, famous 70O-year old French cathedral, is threatened with destruction by a horde of stone eating microbes, according to the Paris radio. Some experts predict a quick end while others claim the structures demise won't take place for many years When broad casters questioned the man on the street as to how he felt about the impending tragedy, a French man replied with true Gallic wit: Like the rest of France, monsieur the microbes of Notre Dame are hungry. Give them 8 square meal and they will give up gnawing at stoneSl"
 They say an irquir1ng photog- rapher halted Bilbo the other noon and asked: Senator, do you have trouble getting white ShirtS?"
 "No," said the Senator, T have plenty"
 Plenty of white shirtsT" repeat ed the newsman.
 "Oh," Bilbo said, T thought you said sheets"
 CHICAGO SUICIDE
 Chicago, March 20-(UP)-MrS. Gertrude Bailey, 37, telephoned her