Evening star., 1946-06-28

quality stores, with greater selec-
ton than any other place on earth
After five or six shopping trips in
this city, ] wonder what the re-
tailers IN Gourd. Ark: Banjo, Okla.
and Whiting Knife, Me, are offer
ing their customers.
My suggestion is that nothing be
sold to the males of America until
the time comes when it is possible
to manufacture clothes which would
not bring deep shame on any cat
who had to drag them in.
Take Shirts-YOu Take Them.
Take shirts, for example. There
are plenty of shirts to be had, but
what shirts! Ninety-nine and SO
one-hundredthS per cent of them
masquerade under the title OF
sport shirts" Apparently the man
utacturers think they can get by
with any kind of shirt just SO long
as they label 1t as something to
wear while engaging in sports. I
have bought couple Of these re-
markable creations out Of deSpera-
ton assure you. and I can't figure
out what sport they were designed
for.
One of these shirts has a collar
that was obviously designed after
the inner tube of siX-ton truck
The tabs hang halfway down to
my waist and the collar is SO con-
& q he NJ
wear a 24-foot boa constructor OF
a l9-foot anaconda, as a tie. to be
able to make knot large enough tc
fill the space between the yawning
tabs. The knot Of the ordinary tie
is lost up there. and is as made
quate as belled cat at bird con-
vention. Now what sport would a
man play in this fool thing? Not
golf certainly, as the collar would
touch the ground when a man bent
over to putt. Not polo, lest the horse
trip over Ale flowing tabs. Not
tennis or any like sport I can think
of, as the tail of this shirt is sc
short that one strenuous gesture
and up it flies like a window shade
leaving the wearer guilty of extreme
exposure. Maybe man could play
chess or tiddly-winks in it, but he
would have to be very, very careful
This shirt doesn't have full length
sleeves, either. but sleeves so cut
that the bottoms Of them SpenC
most Of their time on my shoulders
Shudders at Shorts.
It makes me shudder to consider
the shorts situation. The manufac-
turers have put their best advertis.
ing minds to work thinking up cute
(and patented names for their type
Of shorts, but the fact still remains
that they are pretty dreadful. Yol
have the accordion seat short. the
three-way landing gear short, the
jet plane short, and the buttonless
hookless. swingless, creep-up-nevel
and call-me- Willie short, but none
Of them would comfortably fit any
thing but ring-tailed gibbon.
Suits and slacks 7 even hate te
talk about. For more money thar
papa used to make in a month 6
man is able to get pair of slack
that. while the label doesn't say SO
must be made of 100 per cent virgin
goat ears, and guaranteed not tt
hold creases as long as a 2-year- ole
baby can hold up the front end OF
a diesel locomotive. Five or six
wearings and they develop little
punches of fuzz all over them. anc
within month they are ready tc
be cut for dust cloths
The SuitS-and not many men car
afford to buy a suit any more-sae
at the shoulders, hike in the back
droop in the front, and give the
Wearer the appearance of having
only to sprinkle few ashes on his
head to qualify in the very peniteni
sweepstakes. Most of these suits are
made of a material that is allergic tt
water, air, sitting down, standing
up, walking or remaining motionless
Anything and everything hurt:
them. They have the endurance O.
a bubble in a meat grinder, ano
all the dash and fair of a week k-ene
green salad.
I'll wear overalls, men, before II
invest in this stuff.
distributed by McNaught Syndicate, Inc