The Wilmington morning star., 1946-05-02
Fair Enough
BY WESTBROOK PEGLER

Things were going along just about normal
at the big store and some couples were out
there dancing and others we're drinking i'm
ported champagne and Napoleon brandy and
Veesky-soda and messing up rare viands and
exotic dellcacles when there was a fuss around
the door. First it looked like maybe some
Tory was getting the heave because the reg
lars are all great friends of the good old
Common man and free speech or not, they
don't stand for any fascist ideas. but suddenly.
it all Strengthened out and it was lust the
jitterbug justice coming in for a little non
sense.
They always clap hands and snap fingers
and shove tables around for the old dancing
oarrlStef when he pops in because, whatever
you think about a guy in his position putting
on the squirm in honky : forks, night after
night, with Timber little numbers young enough
to be almost his granddaughter, it gives a Joint
class just to have this bum, around. And then
you can I tell out maybe, some day, you will
get IN a labor case with the walters or must
clans and it finally goes up to him and he
remembers how nice you treated him. with a
rlngSlde squat and how about some more Ca
War, your honor, and he might give Won a
break.
AND. besides, no dead = fall ever had anv
publicity quite like this because can YOU imae-
Inc any o. the great old moral giants hell.
ing around saloons and g~ossiping to broadcast
ers ABOUT how the court is going to vote so
they can oiao 1t before the decision comes
Gown ana then, a little later, the mugs give
them a nice plug about wha. a fearless pro-
gresslve they are and how they have -.
Juvenated the administration of justice.
Harry the waiter, he has been around closo
to 40 years and he has seen them come and
go, actors, writer's, fighters, promoters. poll
tclanS. con-men, judges and jockeys. He is
always on his toes and steering the right
characters up to his honor's table, especialvi
young Hollywood babes and models. but +
you could read a transcript of his thoughts
ABOUT the old goat, they could run some
thing like this:
III IS nice to see you looking so well, YOU
puo-cra"ing Old monkey and if I had a puss
IKE yours l would get me a job in the ZOO and
believe nc I have tossed better b,,ms ont ~
worse drums than this because we figure
mey give the place a bad pane.
wonder, your honor. if you would object
II should take the liberty to bring IN IN
your table a charming little tramp from Hollv-
wood because I have been watching Won arcb-
ing your neck at her and she is on here for
ue premiere OK her first big picture, a beauti-
VI relglous thing they done to take the heat
=. ne oirty communist propaganda they put
~ &c d swell OuDlcltv Ood |
70 get her name in all the columns and may
De a few two-column spots of this TASTY 1;ttIo
yum suing with the distinguished iurist. And
you can tell her what you wrote in vo,,r
OPINION IN some big case so she can toll w.,
what a wonderful thing it s for Democr.cv
uiat we nave got a splendid mbulance-cha car
IKE you protecting the common man from +ha
greedy oppressors and get herself a load ~
sone stocS mat is going to jump like it sat on
d lack "aen the decision comes down..
:. res your honor, I realize that the secret
investigating department puts a car and driver
at your disposal and makes YOUR table rosar
~ y you ana ! consider it a privilege
20 pay taxes to provide such conveniences for
Such a distinguished old tom-cat althouob 7
sometimes nave to laugh about the wav tbesaI
saiooh o1ms are always belly-achine about the
i1-houSeo' lll-fed masses because if thew DOM
get a whole suite in the tower thew think tbev
are sleeping on a park-bench and any time
tne duck ala orange amt Just right thew
mink they are %roughing it.
Here they come, out of the gents room,
1or your press conference, and this is Just I'll,
right kind of a joint to shoot off vo,,r fono
right where the pipeline connects with 4ho
underworld and I know your secretary will
paste up The clippings about the new Oliver
wendell Holmes, except, if you ask me 4be
new judge crater would be more like if eveo
if my good old mother did tell me to never
speak unkindly of the dead.
"Would you like to spoil some more h,,t+oc
your honor? Or here is some lovely imnortad
cheese for your friends to throw their &C.,
rette ashes in. Or spoil a nice cut of co1d
roast beef. eoo
You really ought to dance more, vo,r
honor you dance so gracefully, like a guv in
a pair of Oregon boots, and you make such a
o1gnl1led picture, too, always bouncing around
IN some rat-race with the ~prcfilers and pub
hc1ty colonies and the Hollywood and Broad
way communists sitting around hollering that
we ought to help Stain crush Franco because
Franco is a dictator and if we don't kill =
million more Spaniards and maybe 500, 900
american school boys why then Democracy
will be lost.
Hey, Captain! Captain! hey, Nick! the dane
ing justice is leaving us. Hurry! Get the door,
man to call his honor's car and the opera
tives will see that he gets through the traf-
fic to his hotel. Yes, Oyez, the honorable old
chaser is blowing the dump and we will now
heave up the windows and leave in some
fresh air."