Browning chief. [volume] (Browning, Mont.) 1941-1953, 1946-05-24
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Manhattan Heartbeat

Manhattan Heartbeat
Fifth Avenue, the teeming boule-
ward which runs the gauntlet from
! south to 2340 north in the heart
Of the worlds most important
Treasure Island, is the Avenue FOR
the Americas. In 1918, during the
first World War, it was for a time
called the Avenue of the Allies,
which fooled nobody. With a past
as glamorous as Candles, pres
ent as active as the dollars, its
future is as bright as radar'sl
Come Sunday, the city fathers of
the good old days shut the Avenue
off so that Sabbath worshippers
could have absolute quiet. Now it's
almost necessary to rope off the
gllttering store windows so that the
strollers can't have free rein! E.
The Avenue is an international
hodgepodge of everything: Toy fac
tories, two art museums (the Metro
politan and the Frick), famous
cathedrals, churches and syna-
gogues, the Empire State (the
worlds highest, widest and hand
somesD, architects and stock
brokers, haberdashers, interior
decorators, women's apparel spe-
cialists, Radio City (Which gives ma
tives their largest Christmas tree
and an outdoor ice skating rink),
party favor house, swank restau-
rants, banks, and mansions filled
with ghosts.
The first Fifth Avenue Hotel -
six stories high Tor can you stand
it?)-was opened in 1859. It fea-
tured a novelty, New York's first
vertical railway. What's that? Why,
passenger elevator-you dope.
Elevators along Fifth these days
are such elegant affairs that opera
tors are likely to look down their
shafts at ordinary pilots of the Air
Forces
John Barrymore earned and lost
several fortunes during his turbu-
lent career. When colleague
chided him for his financial ire
sponsibility, Barrymore recited an
epitaph he had seen in Westmin-
ster Abbey: what I gave, l have.
What l spent, I had. What l left,
l lost-by not giving it."
Some of us wondered why Jed
Harris. who once made a million
dollars as a Broadway Snowman,
didn't connect in Hollywood. In
siders insist this is why . Friends
brought him to Louis B. Mayer, the
movie magnate, who had been in
formed of Jed's genius on B'way.
How much money do you want
a week." asked Mayer.
How much do YOU get?" de-
manded Harris.
That did it!
When Haywood Broun first start
ed reviewing Broadway shows he
had the habit of making notes dur
ing dull shows to appear that he
wasn't bored. The worse the
show the more he scrubbed.
One night he stopped making
memos during a second act.
After the second interval the BEAM
ing producer said: II feel better
since I noticed you put away your
pad"
EYES," grumbled Broun. 81 broke
my pencil"
Sounds in the Dark: At the Sing
apore: He reaches for the check
like it was an atomic bomb!"
At the Stuyvesant Casino: "They
say he's an awful bore - but 1
think he's rather expert at it,"
AT Ciro's: when he dies the only
guy who'll be sorry will be his in
surance agent At the Park
Central Lounge: "a layman is a
pedestrian who jumped too late!"
At the Garden Restaurant: "He
was Just promoted from Account
Executive to Office Boy" At
the China Doll: Her love is So
tickle it oughta be listed on the
Stock Exchange" At the Bronx
Zoo: But son. I've told you hum
dred times, Senator Bilbo is in
Washington"
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle once re-
lated bantering conversation he
had with a $l0-a-week actor who
was cast in one of his plays. The
young chap had laughingly suggest
ed that the two agree to divide their
incomes with each other for the
rest of their lives. Naturally.
Sir Arthur had refused "such
ridiculous offer"
The $l0-a-week youngster was
Charlie Chaplin.
Harry Wagstaff Gribble. the pro-
Queer, director, author and all
around play expert, has coined a
swelegant new word to replace the