The Wilmington morning star., 1946-05-05

Talking about the newspaper profession,
there is this sad saga about a famed front
cover illustrator for a renowned magazine.
He signed one of those contracts to do a
dozen front covers a year-one a month :.
The talented man soon found himself with
nothing but time on his hands-and painted
the dozen portraits the very first month :.
Having nothing else to 90 with his time (and
barred by contract from doing pictures for
others, he took to hooch and stayed drunk II
months of the year -. 1t killed him..
You probably have forgotten the recent feud
between the sponsors Of the failure, "Truckline
Cafe" and the New York writes . The pro-
ducers took paid newspaper adverts to lambast
the reviewers for blacKhalling that flop (.
The other day one OF those aggrieved showmen
read laudatory notices en- a film he directed.
The picture is: 'Deadline at Dawn"
And, as yet, Mr.. Clurman hasn't disagreed
with those critics.
John Mason Brown, the critic, reports that
when Shaw served as an aisle-Squatter at the
London plays he was condemned by players for
being too personal in his c~ritiques. Shaw re-
piled that an artist who accounts for my per-
sonal dlsaparagemeat by alleging personal ami
MOSTLY on my part is quite right. When peo-
pie do less than theic best, and do that less
at once badly and selt-compla Gently, l hate
them, l loathe them, detest them, long to
tear them from limb to limb and streW them
in gobbets about the stage"
Shaw argue. that the true critic is the man
who becomes your personale nemy on the sole
provocation of a bad perfcrmance-and can be
appeased only by a good one.
ShoWfolks should paste that on their mirrors.
Besides being a vegetarian, George Bernard
Shaw is a hater of any sort of physical exer-
ton u. Outside of occasional bicycling he de-
bunked all athletics. Once, they say, Sandow,
the Great Strong Man, cornered Shaw
Look at me-" he boosted, pounding his front
age. Il can lift elephants. pianos and 20 men
on my chest!"
"Oh, foof!' said Shaw. I want to keep bores
off mine!'
Hy Gardner memos about the time Ann
Sheridan, the star, met Jose Iturbi il Holly
wood . The talented man suggested that
Ann phone him when she came to New York
:. When she arrived mere, she was a bit fog
gy about his name and addressed him as jose
Shurbert' . A few hours later she received
a reply . 1t was addressed to: Ann Schlep-
perman."
Imperial Vensus," the new biographical
novel about Napoleon'S sister, Pauline, reveals
that she once posed for a nude portrait.
Wasn't it unpleasant" she was later ask
ed, sitting before a man with none of your
clothes on? 1t must have been dreadful!"
MOT at ALL" said Pauline. The room was
we'll heated"
During FDR's early term in office he fired
an appointee for not having told him the truth
about a certain matter. The fellow protested.
saying. I'm not a liar, Mr.. President. ] just
neglected to get all the facts"
FDR blistered him with this: II consider a
liar much less dangerous than a man who is
careless with the TRUTH"
1t happened in Buenos Aires. A minor govt
official bristled into the American Consulate
-. Ignoring the room full of people, he storm
ed over to the receptionist and demanded an
audience with the Consul He was politely
informed there were several ahead of him.
But I am Gonzales!' he beloved, impati-
emily glancing at his wrist watch. "At two o.
clock you have the disappointment"
Il am Joe Kelly" replied the American in
his best North Pole manner, land at two o.
clock you have the disappointment"
Rep. Gillie of Indiana received this letter
from a G. l. The army says l can't wear
a uniform after l arrive home because Ill be
lmpersonating a soldier. The stores say l can't
buy a suit of clothes because they haven't my
size. The police say I can't go on the streets
naked because it is against the law. l would
gladly stay off the streets, but l can't find a
house to live in, and with the shortage of lum-
Der can't buy a Darrell. Having been wound
ed, the army won't take me back as I'm not
physically fit! What noW?"
We offer that soldier Chris Morley's mer-
cilessd oggerel, to wit: Il came home from
years of war. Everything was like before.
People hadn't changed a bit. That's the awful
part of it!'
One of the pet newspaper quips deals with
the reporter assigned to cover an affair sta ged
by the Greater New York Fund . He turned
= his copy in carelessly and tardy The citv
editor bawled him out.
"What's the idea, barked the boss, 'sof writ
inc out A man who meant well cot m
man? You've got him wearing skirts!"
5 l can't help that was the reply, That's
5 where he Was!"
Some of us were panning g certain Southern
senatorv again last night. He thinks he's :.
God" observed Peggy Mann.
3 ssYea." echo'd Steve Ellis. THE You.
A1-nightyl"