Evening star., 1946-07-05

est salaries of 1856, did you?
I want important money. want
the kind of money that gets you
the table at night club where the
performers step on your feet; that
enables you to send out your laun-
dry special" in hotels so as to get
it back the same week; that makes
the marriage and graduation of
friends and relatives pleasure in
stead of a heartache; that causes
clerks in stores to charge things to
you with a smile instead of saying,
Wait just a moment" while they
scurry away to call upstairs to find
out how things stand between you
and the store at the moment.
That's the kind of money mean.
I've looked over the money making
field pretty carefully of late. and I
think have hit on something that
will bring it in. At first, I thought
I'd invent washing machine that
would go upstairs and gather the
dirty clothes, thus eliminating the
one big drawback of the modern
washing machine, which is that the
housewife herself has to put the
clothes in the washer.
Change in Stove Line.
But I gave this up when I had
read about and seen the pictures
OF the new kitchen stoves. Some
one. I said to myself, can make
fortune by establishing schools
where women can learn how to
operate them. The dash panels of
the new ranges are much more
complicated than those in the B-2s
or the Constellation. l certainly
wouldn't allow my wife to take
OF" in the stove of today until she
had had at least two weeks ground
instruction in Link trainer.
Only the other day I heard of a
housewife who attempted to solo"
her stove with only six hours prac-
tice. The result was disastrous.
Ice formed on the leading edges
of the broiler wings. the hydraulic
hot plate burned out, the bank
indicator of the deep fry system
went on the blink, and the baking
controls jammed. She had to make
a forced landing on the back porch
and only the fact that she landed
on a deep dish pie after bailing
out saved her from serious injury.
But some one beat me to this.
then turned to the study OF
the deep-freeze unit. It sounds
perfect, but it is going to offer com
plications. 1t already has, in fact
One man know bought one, ano
the next day his wife, following the
advice Of the deep-freeze unit SELL
ers, bought food for 10 years meals
and slowed it away. Knowing that
her husband was very fond of fish
she bought enough of the finny fel-
lows to assure him of 800 or 4ot
f1sh dinners during the next de.
cade. The next day her husband
came home and told her that hi,
doctor had found that he was al.
lergic to fish and must never ca,
any more of it.
The Big Idea.
That sort of thing is going /,
happen all over this country. Som,
people are going to have enough
raspberries to supply the Brooklyn
Dodger fans for a year, and ther
Tor some reason or another vii
be unable to eat them.
thought of establishing a bust.
ness where I would be a sort of {
) clearing house for people who hae
frozen well, but not wisely. For 6
handsome percentage, I would ef.
feet swaps.
Then-well, the perfect idea 10,
money making struck me. Sure.
flre. Foolproof. Can't miss.
I'll tell you about 1t Monday, ane
please don't steal my idea. Whs
knows but that next year I'll be
going Leo McCarey's way as tn,
highest salaried man in the United
States.
You know, just on the strength
OF dreaming about it, I have q
good mind to go right down now
and buy myself some cork tipped
cigarettes, and make a down pay
ment on race track.
distributed by McNaught Syndicate, Inc. J