The Waterbury Democrat., 1946-03-15
Cockeyed
Inventions
Criticized
90,7I6 Patent
Applications
Not Even Opened
BY FREDERICK c. OTHMAN
Unied Press Staff Correspondent


The Patent office issued an urgent
appeal today-hmmmmmm-for the
geniuses Of this nation to quit con-
cocting cockeyed inventions.
The examiners are up TO their
bullying eyes In 9S,7l5 applications
for patents they haven't even OPP
ened, every mail brings more, and
II the inventors insist on producing
stuff that nobody wants, the least
they can do Is quit Fostering their
Uncle Samuel for patents on same,
or so said W. Huston Kenyon, Jr,
attorney for the governments Pat
ent Survey Committee, looking over
the files and using such words as
trivial" and questionable prac-
teal value"
Streamlined Roller Skates
Kenyon, you didn't mean the de-
vice for protecting the flesh of
Misunderstanding painting the
fingernails. did your Or the ham
burger patty former and wrapper?
The combination pocket adding ma
chine and lead pencil? The stream
lined roller skates? The fluores-
cent window shade for railway cars?
Could you have meant, Mr.. X
the sprinkler that crawls around
the lawn under its own power, wet
ting everything in its path? The
drip cup to fit around the handle
of your tooth brush SO you won't
get your hand wet while polish
ing your choppers? The ornament
al design of a tobacco smoking
pipe for women? surely you couldn't
have meant the bubble gun (pull
the trigger and out comes bubbles)?
Did you ever get in an argument
with an inventor Kenyon? I be-
lieve you're heading for trouble.
Peter S. Gilchrist of Charlotte, N.
C.. invented the bubble gun, and
he claims lot of people want to
shoot soap bubbles. Can the gov
eminent prove they don't?'
Consider the pipe for ladies, as
invented by william Arnold of
Washington, D. c. If enough ladies
take to briar pipes land who is
the patent Office to say they
won't?) He's going to make for
tune.
AS for Henry Singer of Homo
lulu, he obviously has filled a long
felt want with his attachment for
toothbrushes. Haven't you, Kenyon,
dribbled toothpaste on your paws
and wished for a drip cup (patent
number 1884. $40 to stop this? The
self-illuminated window shade
for steam cars came from Lindsey
Schepmoes, of New Haven, Conn
Obviously it makes EN- lighter at
night.
You got lawn in front Of your
house. Kenyon? Then the sprink-
Ter that uses its own hose for a
track and creeps along it, as devel-
oped by Gus Convey of North Platte,
Neb., ought to be of real value. 1t
even shuts itself off at the end of
the line.
The patent Office itself, probably
NSAAA AoS ANH VI WAYNE Va. All
dreW's combination pocket adding
machines and mechanical lead pen
ellis. which he developed in his New
York laboratories and which should
be helpful for counting patent APP
plications.
Anthony J. Miller lives In Chi
cago where he invented the stream-
lined roller skates. They go faster
Kenneth E. Bemis of Oakland,
Calf produced the patty former
and wrapper and anybody using
lot OF hamburgers, like LIZ Abner,
Tor instance, should appreciate 1t.
That brings us. finally. to Gladys
M. Campbell Of Mamaroneck, NY,
who patented two devices, one for
the left hand and the other for the
right. TO keep the iingeEnail paint
OF OF everything but the flngernalls.
Kenyon, ask Mrs eKnyon about
that one.
OF questioned practical value, IN.
deed. Have q care. Kenyon. when
YOU talk about trivial devices.
There's nothing more dangerous
Than an inventor seoFned: should
know but LEAFS not go into that.