The Waterbury Democrat., 1946-04-17

CtiNOS anu ~ WAAA GAAA AA SAASSo,
What happens in between does not
seem to matter very much"
When an interviewer asked H,
l.. Mencken what he thought OF
love at first sight, Menck snapped:
TITS o lavor-saving deviceP
A foreign newsbOy tells us that
the black market has dominated
Europe's economy so long, Eu-
ropeans now have standard joke
about 1t. countries should con-
centrate," they say, ION building
jails and lunatic asylums, Tne
former are for people who buy IN
the black market-the latter are
for those who don't"
"A group of Stork Clubbers were
sitting around twiddling their
opinions when showgirl glided In
with her current wolf. One naive
character inquired:
How can she afford to live In lux
uryP"
He was told: "She Is retired-and
Just lives on the interest men have
In herr
II was Will Rogers who first said
that the only time people dislike
gossip Is when you gossip about
them. He added: 80 live that you
wouldn't be ashamed to sell
the family parrot to the town gos-
sipl"
The Christian Science Monitor
recently relayed this one: One af-
ternoon Mark Twain, who had lost
more than one hard-earned for
tune In harebrained schemes, OBJ
served tall, spare man coming up
the path with q strange contraption
under his arm. Yes, 1t was an In
vention, and the man explained 1t
to the hunorist, who listened po-
litely. but said he had been burned
too often But I'm not asking
you to invest O fortune" exclaimed
the man. you can have as large
O share as you want for $780,"
Twain shook his head; the inven-
ton didn't make sense. The tall,
stopped figure started away -.
what did you say your name
VASE" the author called after him.
Bell" replied the inventor sad
ly, Alexander Graham Bell"
The Daily (COmmnist) Workers
recent attack against this reporter
recalls the time q group OF native
communists raped William Allen
White.
White squelched them with: 1.-THE
bull abominates red-but the Reds
don't seem 10 reciprocatel"
Several weeks ago we were gab-
bling with a British officer and cri-
ticized British policies IN india. He
said: "You killed your indians; we
feed ours, at least"
The other day we picked up q
newspaper and read this item: "S!r
RamasWami Mudaliar, head OF the
india Food Delegation, told re.
porters that india must have g.
000, 900 tons OF cereals within four
months II 1t Is to avoid q famine
even worse than the famine Of 1913
which took 100000 indian lives.
One OF Movleville's top scenarist'
scaled the heights on the strength
Of one best-selling novel. He penned
the tome when he was O starving
Greenwich Villager And the
book responsible for his success
Is thinly yelled biography Of O
failures llfe-his own.
DOtty Parker has o nifty reply
for the ponpous gents who sloat
that they are self.made men.
She sweetly inquiries: well, why
didn't you finish the jobr"
Amazing how FDR continues Il
dominate political disputes. The
other night o Roosevelt critic blast
ed him for accepting the support
Of various political machines ant
their bosses.
A reporter who was listening Il
the debate then pointed out tina
some decades ago James McManei
was the political boss Of Philadel
phia. He was O Republican anC
the most powerful political rule
that city ever had. McManeS nom
mated and helped elect O Presiden
. Abraham Lincoln.
A perplexed politic0 remarked
TO q colleague: II noticed tina
when Louis Budenz. the former edi
tor Of the Daily Worker, testified
before the Wood-Rankin group tn
other day, my newspaper called !
the House committee investigating
un-American Communist activities
Has the group changed It's name re
Gently, that the word Communist
was included?"
II don't think So" replied tn
other Solon. II imagine It's beer
get the right impression. The com
mittee doesn't want to frighten Ger
tain folks into thinking that they'r
investigating un-American Fascis
activities"
Harold Young Henry Wallace
political ADVISOR was asked by
pompous bureaucrat what Henry
middle initial "A" stands for.
I'm not allowed to tell you that,
said Harold with a poker face
but I can assure you-that /
doesn't stand for donkey"
COnfucius Say: World Will be Safe
Place When They Stop Puttin
Franco on Pedestal and Start Put
ting Him on Leash.