The Waterbury Democrat., 1946-11-26

the other. "voQ're the only one in town who talks Go mel"
 M Che Carnival a .ring-sider buzaeds That ham is really In love with himself"
 "Atust be easy eo please" cracked vic Damone,
 Wln Rogers was fona of spinning this Quip to illustrate adrolt dlp~ plomacy: An errand boy at a Holly wood studio entered an elevator and forgot to remove his hat, The only other passenger was a fusSy. middle aged actress, and she asked him: Don't you take off your hat to ladieSp"
 The retOrt diplomatic was; only to old ones, ma am"
 Dear Winchy," passionately writes Jackie Elinson. n stin keep thinking Of the Nickel case. It was such a novelty heading about d robbery that didn't involve one Of those book-collectors of jokes that have appeared in columnsl
 The United Nations delegates oughta pick Washington, D. c, as their site. We might as well have all our confusion in one place,
 "Artie Shaws band doesn't have to worry anymore about bookings. They can always play at the boss weddingsi"
 That's More Like M Depa.: Omnibook, which ran Bennett Cerf's annexdoteS. warned: No part Of this material may be quoted without permission and without giv- ing credit to Mir. Cerf and Omni. book"
 The latest edition omits that hokum and instead says: When quoting from this material. please give credit to this magazine
 It'd be safer to credit the colyums from which it was tooken.
 Washington is talking about uni- flying the Army and Navy when it hasn't even unified the North and Southl
 We have filed away Oswald Car rison villard's definition of Q re- porter. To wit: Trained to ask questions. and possessor off that conditioned reflex of all good re- porters which makes them assume any smoke is a S-alarm fire un- less proved otherwise"
 CrackpOt outfits kindly note: From Nietzsche: Insanity in indi- Viduals is something rare, but groups, parties, nations and epochs, 1t is the rule"
 During his var correspondent days a radio writer found 1t necessary to hop across Africa. He purchased a plane for sleOO0 and put it on the expense account. The powers that-ee agreed that it was all right for him to have bought the plane but ordered him to sell it for not less than Sl6.0O0 as soon as he was through using it. cThey were will ing to take the S2O00 loss.)
 Our hreo sold it for s2s.0Oo-and pocketed the difference.
 H looks, observes Jack Lindrup. like the Republicans took almost every seat in Washington except a piano stool
 Ed ~Archie" Gardner was cornered by a Hollywood pest and gave him the cold shoulder.
 T dunno why you should snut me-" said the guy. I'm very popu- lar. Why, when Daryl Zanuck sees me coming he gets out the vel come mat"
 "Yeah," said Ed. "and wraps ths silverware up in itl"
 At the Penthouse a bore thawi he was sInaht when stepping aside to let Milton Berle pass. hs said: Age before beautyl"
 You mean" Tipped Milton Berries before swine" A MissOurian was highly indig. nant at colunulslS cEaticann o the President. Instead of picking on Tru- man" he complained. guys nk' you oughta stick to the newspa' per business"
 Maybe they would" said scribe If men like Truman stuck to thu haberdashery racket"
 A holidaying reporter vas moan ing about the state Of the nation
 T used to like things better, he pointed out. when we had two Thanksgiving"
 And" added his pal. "one Roose. welt"
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