Browning chief. [volume] (Browning, Mont.) 1941-1953, 1946-03-15

us. The parade of sappy billboards
Is bound to affect your nervous sys-
tenn. And there is always Junk
head on the road, who will send you
to the nearest hospital babbling that
he had the right of way.
Nothing can top home-cooked
meal. The cuisine in swanky spots
is usually tangy, but glance at the
steep fees for food is bound to give
anyone not on the columnist cuff"
indigestion.
Locking paws with a cutie-pie OF
patting her knees under a cafe ia
BILE is popular form of recreation.
Yet the privacy of the home pro-
vides the contest atmosphere for Gu.
pididoes. Besides, you can be ar
rested for playing Post Office in
public.
There is plenty of danger in night
clubs. The air is usually foul, the
music is brassy and the emcees'
inept cavorting is invariably pitt
full. Making goo-goo eyes at the doll
across the room is more perilous
than smoking hop. She might have
a boy-friend who packs wallop like
Joe Louis. Or what is worse-she
might know a good lawyer.
Travelling has many advantages
but the scenery is never as COM
polling as it appears in travelogues.
All you are certain to acquire while
romping around the globe is an
acute case of inconsistencies.
Strolling in the street isn't all it's
cracked up to be. Mendicants clut-
ter every block, and you risk rum
ming into bores you're trying to duck.
Then there are the sadistic motor
lists who have declared war on ev-
cry pedestrian.
The politicos have tipped their
mitt for 1916. It's going to be
reckless racism-pitting the Poles
versus the Russians-the Irish YER
sus the British, etcetera. Cut
ting up Europe's quarrels to fan up
ballots is what too many office
seekers try to peddle as Amer
icanism." AS the lady in Estate OF
the Union" observes: II thought
the Poles voted in Poland!"
Faces in the Dimout: Judge Fer
dinand Pecora, Bernard Gimbel,
John Gunther and reporters trying
to decipher the Mayors closing
proclamation to Sherman Billings
ley at the Stork Club. "All know"
said the famed host, els that this
is the first time ever got hit by an
atomic bomb!" Keenan, Wynn,
just in from Movietown, getting
caught in a seth St. spots free-for-
all. Jane Wyman and her
groom, Ronald Reagan, impressing
local yocals with their pleasantries.
John Steinbeck, the book-writ-
er, trying out his Spanish on the
Havana-Madrid crowd. Lovely
Alexis Smith elbowing her way
through the Radio City signatour-
lists. The Joe Cottens at the
Carnival, gay spot. . Augustin
Duncan, who attracted sugary no
tees for his performance as the
blind parent in Lutte Song" He is
blind.
Sallies in Our Alley: Peter Don
aid Che was among the recent White
House entertainers) told it at the
Singapore last night. Margaret
O'Brien, the moppet, asked the
President: WAS the White House
like this when America was born?"
NO." said the President. "In
those days they didn't have rich
young ladies such as you to pay
taxes" At Sardi's, Mrs John
Wildberg remarked: money is
worthless today" "Unless,"
said her producer groom, "you have
none" Buddy Lester says that
with the shirt shortage-it is amaz-
ing how many people are still will
ing to risk losing theirs in Wall St.
Manhattan Murals: The swan in
Central Park, which accepts food
only from males-refuses to come
near the gals. The lingerie
shop on 5th, which calls its very dar-
ing negligees: "indiscreations."
The Lincoln, the only hotel in town
that plays Negro orchestras.
The Embassy's powder room at
tendant who owns a 24-room man.
sion uptown.
The Funnies: Lincoln was rest
ing in hotel lobby after a campaign
speech when some of the villagers
gathered there. One remarked:
"Mr. Lincoln, your speech was
good, but there were some points
quite beyond my reach" Abe
chuckled: "I'm sorry for you; l
once had dog that had the same
trouble with fleas!"
Quotation Workmanship: E.
hH