The Waterbury Democrat., 1946-08-19
The Firing Line By D. N. T.
LETTERS TO THE EDITOR

5
 Dear Sir: "Woman!" as Ambrose Bierce once said, If we only could fall into her arms without falling into her hands"
 The male sex is being victimized ruthlesSly by the female sex in sort of war nerves that can end only in disaster of planetary proportions unless some intervening agent ad- juStS the differences between men and women. Not the big differences; not the ones that lead so often and so vociferously to Reno, or Miami h season. The little differences, the tiny frictionS that are scarcely ap- preciable, that by no stretch of the imagination could possibly lead to any trouble between man and wife or swain and sweetheart, except, of course, the murder of the wife or sweetheart.
 It is my object in life to become that intervening agent, come what may. If there is one thing this world needs, it is people, and the pros pect of race persistency grows glum- mer with each passing day. I am starting on a modest scale. I have prepared code of don't for all wo- men, but especially for wives, and admittedly it only scratches the surface of the mountain of don'ts that women will have to learn if they are not all to suffer sudden death at male hands when the moon is down and the temper is up. No doubt some of your feminine readers will consider me a misogynist for daring to come out in public with the faint, hopeful beginnings of this cO0e. realize the danger in that respect, but am prepared to suffer the obloquy that is almost certain to follow. And I am determined to relay these don'ts to them, even if l I am to be pilloried and failed for doing so. These, ladies are the don't:
 Don't tear off the whole top of a fresh pack of cigaretS as though you were a surgeon yanking the adhe- sive in one merciful yank; tear the right corner, after removing the cellophane, from the edge of the stamp to the edge dexer; better still, don't try to broach new pack at all-let George do it.
 Don't, in any circumstances and on pain of chronic incompatibility, try to make your voice heard above the sound of running water in the stk Cor even of brisk frying in the spider) when He is in the living room, Boston trails by two scores in the last of the ninth and Ted Williams is up with two on and two out. Don't fight running water at | any time, for that matter a mans emotions, at best, are a mass of tin- der that is bound to burst into flame when his left ear is busy and his right eaf is challenged by a voice from the Kitchen. Or the bathroom, be it said.
 Don't ask him 10 do something which He already has made up His mind to do. That way lies disaster. Nothing is so disconcerting as the discOunting of a virtuous impulse toward activity by feminine re- quest that the impulse be activated. Observance of this don't" will re- quire subtle reasoning on your part, and perhaps a little mental tele- pathy, since He never gives voice to His intentions of doing sOme- thing, and you are bound to find it difficult to ascertain those inten- uOns, as a consequence. Perhaps even 8 better rule to follow, since it is infallible, is: Don't ask Him to do anything.
 It is all right to ask Him how much he won at the Friday poker session, since that is your business, too, but don't ask Him how much the other guys lost or won, since they have wives and that is their wives business, or if it isn't, the husbands don't want it to be. Also, don't check too darn closely on His winnings. Or losses, if you're mar ried to the type.
 Don't tell funny stories. They're not funny.
 Don't tell Him where you spent the dough. This is important; ac- counting always embassasses Him.
 Don't sing with the radio; let Him ruin it.
 Don't say Don't"
 Don't call this to the attention of my wife or anyone.
 CITIZEN.