Evening star., 1946-04-25

| AhCAlpcl y d II onfS McAemOFe.
live on $4,000 a year? Are the
little birds to blame? Sun spots?
Is it the fault of Charley Citizen
and his family?
But, without waiting for an an
swer. let us suggest to any Con-
gress member who is down to his
last stuffed shirt from trying to
live on $4,000 a year, that he adopt
budget. Unless it be bubonic
plague nothing will so quickly take
a mans mind off such q petty
thing as trying to make ends meet
as budget.
Once a budget comes into the
home minor troubles disappear, and
are replaced by major ones into
which a breadwinner can really get
his teeth. That Is, OF course, If the
particular budget adopted allows
for teeth. 1t SO happens that the
one we are using now makes no pro-
vision for teeth, but it more than
makes up for this by providing a
generous slice of income for bet
ting on horses.
Long Shot Wins Research.
Exhaustive research by makers of
household budgets has shown that
the average citizen would rather
cash a ticket on a long shot than
be able to eat corn on the cob or
hard caramels
The principal value Of a budget
is that it makes you realize how
completely poverty stricken you
are. One look at budgets mile
long list of items that people have
to spend money for, and you wonder
how you have managed to keep
going this long, and why you are
not languishing in a debtors pris-
on. The average man. if you asked
him what he spent his money on,
would say food, clothes, rent, in
surance and entertainment, and let
it go at that.
But once he starts the budget
system he is quickly jolted out of
this FOOLS Paradise. Every budget
has a little item marked Savings. ="
Now who would ever think of that
If 1t weren't for a budget?. And
"Budgeteer" is not supposed to
spend this savings, either, so there
goes some of his good, hard-earned
money right there.
1t is alarming to study the "Emer-
gencies" list that comes with every
budget. The men and women who
devise budget forms are very pessi-
mlstlc people. They credit medicine
with little advance since the time
OF Hippocrates. and are stanch in
their belief that at any moment
a man may be stricken with ague,
beri-beri, chilblains. dengue fever,
earache, flu, gout, hives, indigestion
jaundice, kommon kold, and so on
through the alphabet to zebraitis.
rash common to those who pet
ZebraS.
Travel and Entertainment.
A man who keeps a budget has
to travel, too. He may be the biggest
somebody in the world. and NAV
want to spend his vacation in the
backyard building a barbecue pit
In order to pay back some friends
who had him over for a badly burn
ed steak and smoke in his eyes.
but he must go somewhere. There
is Travel" or Vacation" fund
designated on every budget, and he
must spend it that way, else he is
cheating. 1t may be just enough
to get him to the city water works
and back, or it may take him to
where Old Faithful spouts in Yellow
stone, but he must 60.
The same goes for entertainment.
A man may have talented family
"a daughter who plays the either,
a boy who knows the musical saw.
and wife who can send solid with q
comb and paper-but he cannot stay
at home and let his loved ones
furnish the entertainment. He must
spend that money. somehow, even
if he has to see Roy Rogers in q
double feature. or pay cover charge
for the privilege of having his feet
stepped on and a waiter spill coffee
down his back
Congress members, get on a budget
and quit squawking Either vote
yourselves the $4,000, which you
can do, or admit that the only
reason you don't is for fear your
constituents wouldn't re-elect you
and give you the privilege Of re-
turning to Washington and starving
to death on $4,000.
Distributed by McNausht Syndicate. 1nc)