The Waterbury Democrat., 1946-01-14

teaches which sounds as if he had tracked her down immediately on his return. And her affable sugRes- ton that he visit her home to meet her husband and child would be a lady's rejolnder and velvety rebuke in the circumstances 0 courteous reminder that she IS married now, with no secrets from her husband and also with no interest in, nor in. tention of indulging. Q sub rosa ex- change with your hrashly persistent Diane may have erred in iFnputing a mother fixatlon" to John (your son); but there can be no doubt she was right in recognizing you as 9 sword between them. Tn ali prob- ability she remarked this truth to him at intervals (and his own) as best he could, trying to deny or ex- plain away your critically skeptical attitude toward her, thus gradually forcing her to the conclusion that he was incapable of seeing straight and acting accordingly in any emo- tional tussle with you.
 It is quite apparent that you hate and fear Diane, with the vehe- mence a jealous woman feels toward an easily more potent rival. And it was this morbid aspect of the mother-son relationship to which she was reacting in finally return ing Johns ring--a gesture not in the least to her discredit, since an engagement is not a binding com- mitment, but rather an arrange ment for testing compatibility in 8 trial period of exclusive devotion.
 Greek Met Greek
 In These Women
 In my opinion, wisdom and praiseworthy strength of character were implicit in her eleventh-hour decision to turn aside from a mar riage that would have kept her at grips, whether or not, with an in- stiably resentful mother in law whose son would forever condone her steely prejudices. The same qualities were manifest in her steady refusal to forfeit immediate educational opportunities for the emotional spree of early marriage which the worshipful John was in- sistently urging some years ago.
 It was Q case of Greek meeting Greek when your path crossed Diane's-case of a girl whose soul lis and always will be her own, find- ing herself to her surprise weighed in against an older woman with will of iron and substantial re- sources of patient cunning, long ac- customed to gaining her way by iI1- direction with her idolized son. She took the ground from under you when she judiciously tilted John, and her retreat left you hostile still, smarting with resentment at the slight to your son-your pride and dubious joy.
 As the twig is bent, so the tree inclInes. And if Johns behavior at 28 gives you cause for worry, don't blame Diane. He is your handi- work and, 1t appears, a determined nuisance in intent toward her prob ably because her self-reliant capa- city for joy draws him more strong ly than ever now when he is seek ing home-front relief from the nervous after-effects of war.
 What can be done? Nothing ex- cept to cast the scales from your eyes and trust Diane to avert seri- ous difficulties with him as skillfully as she did before. She showed wis., dom beyond her years in youth and l imagine she will do even better now, with married love to protect and guide her. M. H.
 Mary HawOrth cOUnSeas through her column, not by mail or personal interview. Write her in care Of The Waterbury Den1ocrat).
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