Evening star., 1946-10-07

have been McLemore.
asked by the Free Labor Whit
Party In this country to speak dur.
ing the next campaign. The Fret
Labor Wings, on a postcard, tole
me that they would give me, through
their connections, first shot at 9
war surplus bicycle If I would speak
in their behalf.
I am not a man open to bribery
I am man who is wide open to
bribery. Every time that sit down
to do my column, I try to think OF
trade names, in the lovely hope that
by mentioning the Northern Lights
l can get two pounds of aurora
borealis for free Or a set of left
hand golf clubs designed by Fon-
taine Fox.
Now, in my two days In Washing
ton I have consulted all of the dis
tinguished Washington know-alls. !
have had Is minutes with a guy who
had five minutes in Yugoslavia.
broke hamburger with a man who
knew Henry Wallace when he was
chewing corn for health-not as an
experiment. I had cocktail with
youngster whose feet had been
stepped on by Margaret Truman
during a dance and reception. In
other words, I am in the swim.
Sends in Speech.
even went so far during my stay
in Washington to read Part III OF
Elliott Roosevelt's laudable effort to
pay his income tax from the grave
of a great gentleman. This Is my
speech, which I have sent to the
Free Labor Whig Party:
My new party has no seats In
Congress. 1t is going to have nc
seats in Congress. But, If We can
split the people who go for Tru-
man, and the people who 60 for
Wallace, and the people who go fol-
Stassen, and the people who go for
Taft, and the people who go for
Bricker, and the people who go 1or
Dewey. and the people who go for
Macarthur, and the citizens who
would like to go for Eisenhower
and the Californians who would go
for Warren, and the people who
would vote for Jack Benny and Lana
Turner, we have chance.
Speech continued0
Fellow Free Labor Wings, let's
don't kid ourselves any further. The
men who are running for office
1000 times out of 1,001, are running
because they can get votes. They
were not chosen by the backroom
boys for the things which most OF
us hold dead. I would like just once
to have a Congressman whose wife
didn't buy new dress when he
went to Washington. As taxpayer
I am tired of paying for tulle and
voile. would like a Senator, who
when he went back to his home
town, didn't inform, beforehand, the
little town that he was coming.
I would like Supreme Justice of
the United States to wear the robes,
not as something that guaranteed
him lifetime job. but as a black
cloth draped around him by people
who turned to him without even
knowing his name.
We have now reached the Presi-
dency. This is a position that my
mother planned for me. When ]
was kicking the Stats out of the
cradle, she was listening, in her
hearts mind, to my inaugural ad-
dress. I think it Is time that this
country quit living in a dream world
which makes it believe that Presi-
dents can do no wrong, or, do every
thing right.
All Have Failings.
Mr.. Truman doesn't know as
much about poetry as 10 poets you
can name.
He doesn't know as much about
cooking as 10000 chefs you could
name.
I imagine he speaks French with
decided accent.
So what? That goes for all of us,
doesn't it? We're not so smart. The
man in the Kremlin isn't so smart
He still has to change the razor
blade every time he shaves. If he
doesn't, I wish he would tell me the
name of the blade.
Gen. de Gaulle is a troublesome
man.
So, in concluding my speech to
you. Free Labor Wings, I would like
to say this: All that anybody wants
is a roof that doesn't leak, house
that is warm or cool according to
the season, toys for baby on Christ
mas, and a breakfast that wasn't
sent to Tito.
You know, I am likely to gel
elected on this plank, but wouldn't I
be loss in the White House? Nc
children to get divorced. No daugh-
ter who sings. No housekeeper who
had to wave pork chop over a
national weekly magazine to keep
her ice box from printing it's mem
oirs. No, I wenldn't be happy in
the White House. I am strictly q
juke box man and they tell me there
s,,1~ L. IL l.