Browning chief. [volume] (Browning, Mont.) 1941-1953, 1946-06-14

turity is a Towering of the spirit.
Those others I was recalling to you,
they have no youth and no maturity
either. You have maturity, you
know how fine it is-don't start to
be like them. Don't reach back
now!"
II don't understand you'll" she ex-
claimed. Il want to know whether
or not you are Arthur Kittredge
come back from that German hos
pitai where they told me you had
died. What are you trying to tell
me?"
He answered her simply. II am
trying to tell you that if you want
TO believe l am Arthur Kittredge,
you can persuade yourself that I
am. You can make yourself see me
as living reminder of a period of
your life that was very happy-that
perhaps has grown happier in your
recollection of it,
II didn't come here" retorted
Elizabeth, ito be advised whether
or not should believe in fantasy.
came to be told the truth"
Il am telling you the truth" he
insisted. 1.-THE truth is that YOU can
stop living in the present if you want
TO. You can reach back and demand
that the past be returned to you.
But it won't be returned to you. You
won't get back what you have lost,
you'll only be destroying what you
have.
For the past few months you
have found the present very hard to
take. You have been looking back
into a time when you weren't
aware of the demands life was going
to make on you. In those days every
minute was delightful for itself. You
mad what you wanted and you didn't
Know you were going to have to pay
Tor it. You've personified that love-
~ thoughtlessness of youth in the
Inquire OF the man who shared it with
you. You want it back-not Arthur,
but the young freedom Arthur SYM
bolized for you"
rs that what I've been doing?"
YES" he said, "it is"
Elizabeth was silent. She felt as
II she had been accused of sin,
and found just enough echo Of guilt
IN herself to be unable to speak in
her own defense.
You can't get it back, Mrs. Her
long," Kessler said gently. but If
you keep trying, you will lose what
you have. And you have so much
TO lose now, SO much more than you
had twenty-five years ago."
Elizabeth moved forward in her
chair, listening intently. The curl
Gus sense of guilt had not left her.
las for your first husband"
Kessler began.
"Yes-what about hin?"
How old were you when you mar
ried him."
Eighteen" After she had spoken
she realized that her answer had
come as readily as though she had
never had any reason for believing
he knew this already.
"Eighteen!" Kessler repeated,
what did you know then about low
ing MANI"
II thought I knew a great DEAL"
she retorted.
Naturally you thought so. How
could you judge your feeling for him
except by the standard you had
then? But look at it now and see
what it was by the standard of love
you have today. A bright girlish
rapture. Beautiful, no doubt, but no
more than that"
'But what else is young girls
love? What else should it be?"
Nothing else. That's what I'm
trying to tell you. But what did you
lose when you lost Arthur? A lover
and playmate. You had nothing
else to lose"
Elizabeth drew back and stared
at him, almost angrily, resenting
what he said and fighting against
having to accept it. He waited a
moment to give her time to get used
to it, and then went on.
when we get older, and are
drawn into the depths of experience,
it is sometimes very tempting to
look back and regret the time when
we were skipping over the surface
without dreaming how thin it was"
Elizabeth still did not answer. All
this was new to her, as relating to
herself. 1t was as though he we're
accusing her of having been foolish
just when she thought she was be-
ing wise.
"When we do look back" said
Kessler, ''it means that just then we
are frightened at the challenge of
being adult"
II have been frightened" she ac-
knowledged, still astonished at all
he was showing her. "You know
that
"What we forget in those mo-
ments, of course" he went on, sis
that the profoundest joys, as we'll as
the greatest trials, are found in the
depths of experience. The happiness
of youth is shallow merriment, it
can't be anything else. But the hap
piness of maturity, l mean real
mental and enotiOpal maturity is