Browning chief. [volume] (Browning, Mont.) 1941-1953, 1946-05-10
CHAPTER XVII

~" NOlCG.
Elizabeth had claspcd her hands
and was moving them against each
other reStlessly Il don't know why
l feel so much like talking to you.
Maybe it's just that if don't talk
it out pretty soon don't know what
will become of me. Do you mind
listening?"
II want to-" he answered, with
such simple sincerity that she could
have no doubt of his sympathy. He
hesitated an instant, then asked,
"Can we sit down, Mrs Herlong?"
"How stupid of me-" she ex-
claimed She hurried to lead the
way to two deck chairs placed on
the lawn, at the side of the house.
Cherry had left a sweater on one Of
them, and Elizabeth put it on, for
the evening chill was blowing in
from the sea. 1--WE aren't just cour-
teous about not noticing your limita-
tons, Mr.. Kessler," she remarked
as they sat down, we're usually
not even aware of them"
When he answered it was in
matter-of-fact voice. This is one
of the things I found hardest to get
used to-" he said. II mean, asking
for chair. had always been so
healthy that was the one who had
to be reminded not to expect too
much Of other people. Please don't
be embarrassed-I'm not"
Are you cold?" asked Elizabeth.
mo. What was it you wanted to
tell me?'
"Spratt is my second husband
you didn't know that, did you? It's
not important in any personal sense
between us, it never has been i'm
portant and it wouldn't be now ex-
cept that my first husband was killed
in the last war. I loved him very
much. Of course, now, looking back
on it, it's easy to say it shouldn't
have mattered SO much, I was a
young girl with all my life before
me, and as it happened met Spratt
and everything turned out as you've
seen it. But at the time there was
no way for me to look forward.
When remember it, She stopped.
After moment Kessler asked,
did you suffer so horribly?"
81 can't tell you what it was. 1t
wasn't anything anybody could un-
derstand except somebody who had
been through it. l had loved him
SO, and then all of a sudden he was
dead. 1t was-anyway, never went
through anything like it before, and
I never have again. Of course, it's
all over-I don't even think of it
very often, but now" She stopped
again.
There was a silence that seemed
to last long time. At last Kessler
said, in a voice so low she barely
heard him, Eyes? But now?"
Don't you understand? 1 can't
take it again. l can't. I thought
there never would be anything else
like that. It was over and done
with. My world had been shot to
pieces, and 1 picked up the pieces
and made myself 60 on living, and
I was rewarded more than I ever
dreamed of expecting. But I can't
do that another time. Even if had
the strength, it's too late. I was
twenty when lost Arthur. 1t wasn't
easy to 60 on then. But now I'm
forty-four. If my world is shot to
pieces again, it stays that way. I
can't 60 back and start over. And
why should l be expected to? Life
can't be all beginnings and no fulfill
ment!"
AS she broke off Kessler asked,
"What is that exquisite scent that's
suddenly here all around us?"
"Night-blooming jasmine. Some
times it blooms till late in the year.
Are you listening to me?"
eff I hadn't been listening
shouldn't have asked about the flow
ers. I was just thinking, in a world
so full of possibilities for pleasure,
why should anyone have to say what
you are saying to me?"
you're not answering me, are
you?" she said. ''There isn't any
answer. But thank you for listen
ing" After a moment she went on,
II can't tell you what relief it has
been to say all this. I believe say
ing it to you has got it out of me
so l won't pour it all out to Spratt.
That's why I'm grateful" She
reached her hand out and laid it
over his, as it rested on the head
of his cane. To her establishment,
she found that instead of lying there
lightly as she had thought, his hand
was gripping the cane with such VIC
lence that the muscles were hard
and the knuckles were like rocks.
Elizabeth drew away quickly and
sat up. "Mr. Kessler! What have
I done to your"
Nothing" he answered sharply,
and sat up too, as though startled.
"What is the trouble?"
"Why couldn't keep quiet?" she
demanded of herself contritely.