Evening star., 1946-09-20

ana are caught on the dance floor
when the gourds begin to rattle. |
maintained that the rumba will
eventually prove to be more deadly
TO those citizens past the age of 35
than driving on the wrong side of
the road, gout and chicken pox.
Everybody Has His Say.
Ever since that column appeared
men, women and children have
taken cobra fangs in hand to write
and tell me what a supercolossal
idiot l was and that the incest
thing that could happen to me
Would be for me to try to go over
Niagara Falls in a followed out
drugstore soda counter.
I can always tell when the post
man is approaching by the ticking
noise he makes. Half of the letters
and packages he brings me from
the rumba addicts tick like clocks
ana give every indication of con-
tanning internal machines. Natu-
rally. it makes him nervous to carry
such mail and he was growing old
before his time until I thought of
installing the bathtub. Now. the
minute he pedals up on his bike he
drops the whole lot into the tubful
of water and with a look of relief
on his face mounts his machine and
hustles away.
So far there have been no actual
explosions but the letters I have
received from leaders of rumba
bands throughout the country all
have given off a mad kissing and
splitting noise when lowered into
the tub. The leader of the rumba
band which plays Tor was playing
at the time at the Riviera Club
lust across the George Washington
Bridge from New York suggested
that I visit his place and have my
head shrunk. my veins opened, and
finally be thrown into the Hudson
River from the towering Palisades.
"GrandmOther' Bitter.
He was no more bitter. however
than the woman who signed her
letter Grandmother. This missive
came from Alabama and had to
be handled with tongs. Grand
mother" who confessed to 55 years
of living, said that life did not really
begin for her until she mastered
the rumba step. My life was void
until I got into the MOOD of the
L. rl1 hut
from your remarks that you are an
octogenarian fat, foolish. and should
be horse whipped. I pity your wife.
I pity you. Curl up and die
In order to determine if 7 was
wrong and was really missing some
thing beautiful in life by not learn
ing the rumba. I enrolled in q
school of the dance. I felt pretty
silly going to dancing school again
looked pretty silly, too, because
went dressed in the same little
suit used to wear to dancing school
years and years ago-little white
pants. blue coat, patent leather
pumps and black ribbed stockings.
My instructor. James Sauer. chose
to start my instructions to the tune
of Terra Va Tembla." He told me
that the movement of the rumb@
was everything, so We started out To
master the movement which in
wolves shifting the weight from one
nip to the other. People three doors
away could hear me shifting. Chunk
Clank, clunk. Chunk, clank, clunk
More grace, more flow more poetry
of notion my teacher counseled.
l put in all the grace. flow and
poetry I could summon. My tie
began to unknOt. My shirt worked
steadily upward. MY braces slipped
down over my shoulders I could
feel myself going into an uninten-
tional strip tease The first lesson
ended just in time.
Another few bars of Terra Va
Tembla' and the cops would have
raided the place.
No, thank you, no rumba for me
I'll stick with the Charleston. the
bunny hug and the Virginia reel.
Distributed by McNaught Syndicate. Inc