The Wilmington morning star., 1946-01-07
Fair Enough
BY WEsTBRooK PEGLER,

ago, you know, the last OF the year, Mrs.
George Spelvin, American, well, she got to
figuring that her old man was a not-half-rot-
ten kind OF old plug, after all, because he
worked hard and didn't 60 in for much sky.
larking and they couldn't stand the belt for
New Years Eve at one Of those traps where
the rich trash do their falling down, so by
hell, in that sentimental mood, she decided
to buy a good fat slab Of toddy at the store
and do little sitting up at home and work
up mild reek with papa. Then at midnight
they would throw open the windows and listen
to the chimes and the horns and the braying
Of the crowd and that would attend to that,
all for the price Of one quart Of nice, whole
some and nutritious grog and no cover charge
or tips and so, to face another year, hand-in
hand, together down life's pathway and all
like that
So minded, Mrs Spelvin went down to the
corner and asked the guy for one tube OF his
very best corn-squeezing and, pointing to
row of old runhound, price $780, said 'one-
twelfth Of dozen Of that, if you would be 50
kind
i So Mrs S. was noered for count OF nine
when the guy slapped both hands on the coun-
ter, gave her a glare and demanded, "how
much dough does your old man make, how
much have you got in cash, bonds and other
your love-bower, at how much per cent, and
does he figure to get raise within the next
twelve nonths?''
Coming up slowly and shaken but pretty
good and damn sore, Mama S., went to her
right until she could regain her speech and
then, with a terrific rally, hollered: 'why
you fresh tramp, what for kind Of asking is
that and what is the matter with YOU, anyway,
because come in to buy me some provisions
for a strictly 1aw-abiding, respectable family
bust and the way YOU talk you would think
was trying to join the Piping Rock club
instead Of just shopping for little booze.
VIVA: business is it Of yours, you crummy
bootlegger, how much scratch we got in kick,
how much we make and the mortgage and
whether my plunaed knight figures to get
raise next year because that is none of your
business, you cheap, ignorant. ......."
Listen to me, you over-bearing fascist"
the guy yelled back, and by now quite a
crowd was gathering and cop had come in
and was stretching an ear to see whether
the situation called for steps. 'listen to me,
because you are so SNUG and reactionary,
with your riches, and your tradition of power,
that you don't seem to realize that us poor
people have got right to charge according
| to how much you can afford to pay and II
you are filthy rich I am right here to tell
you I am entitled to fair share OF the
dough-"
The cop moved up to the counter now and,
turning to Mrs. Spelvin, said, Lady, think
you ought to realize that this is just fact
finding and, while I don't have the legal
power to make you tell what the guy asks,
| I think he sounds pretty reasonable because,
II you can afford to pay $1,000 for this mer.
chandse, then, after all, why should the poor
mugg let it 90 for $3.50? He only wants to
see your books to prove how much you can
pay and then, If the facts show you can't
stand higher tap well. ....."
''No," Mrs. Spelvin shrieked the way she
sometimes does when she is really sore,
neither for you nor President Truman nor
anybody else and it is none Of your business
either so please be away and don't interfere
| and. moreover, suppose if am absolutely
busted and my old man is out of job then
according to you buns, why, ii it's ability
to pay that counts why all got to do is prove
We can't pay anything and this meat-head
here will give me quart for nothing Is that
the way you figure and it so will thank you
to kindly show me your books where you
have been giving away toddy to busted guys
and selling it below cost to others, all accord
ing to their ability to pay"
Lady" the cop said, II think you should
realize that by your stubborn attitude you
are holding back that wonderful prosperity
that is just awaiting for people like you to
| yield selfish interest for the good OF all and
now our brave boys are coming back ana
| here you are holding up everything so pretty
soon the clerks and the bottlers and cork
makers and label-printers and stickers ana
wrappers. and hootch- workers and the coopers
and all will be out of work and their little
children will starve and our beloved country
will have another depression unless you. ...
"And say.'' Mrs. Spelvin screamed, 1T
| is you buns that are responsible and am
willing to pay just what everybody else pays
| and it don't make a particle of difference
whether I can pay 5000 or $6620 because
). maybe my old man worked harder than THIS
nugg and maybe he is smarter. ....."
u At this, the cop grabbed Mama s.. ana
slammed her in corner and grabbed her
bag and tossed 1t to the guy and the whole ne
i crowd went rummag ing and they found $S.3o
In cash and the savings book showing only
$l2 left after Christmas and a letter saying
her old mother was in the hospital and needed
money for day and night nurses.
So the cop let her go and they gave ner
back her stuff and the guy said, well any
way, America cannot 60 backward and II tne
Spelvins are inefficient then we Will neip p
manage their affairs so they can pay $lo'oo
for $3.50 worth Of toddy'' :,
Mrs. Spelvin told them all where they coulo
60 but the cop took 50, anyway and tne guy
handed her the $3.50 copy Of old ruhnnouno
and that night the Spelvins deliberately gov
plastered and greeted the New Year singing
the Internationale.
| QUOTATIONS
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