Evening star., 1946-07-19

ing, silk, spark plugs. beverages,
and fertilizers as its chief industrial
products, and is served by railroads
that mighty few people have ever
heard about.
But let me tell you why I love
Alexandria, and why each year I
almost send in check to its Com
munity Fund drive, Red Cross
drive, and, every once in a while,
drop a dime in a nickel parking
meter. I love Alexandria because
it is seven miles south of Washing
ton, D. c., and when 7 hit its city
limits, the horror Of driving am
automobile through Washington is
finished.
Awful Circle Problem.
Washington-and again I refer to
my encyclopedia-was planned by
Mai. Pierre G. L'Enfant, and is re-
garded as one of the most perfectly
laid-out capitals in the world. Old
inhabitants tell strangers that any
one should be able to drive about
the city blindfolded. Maybe they're
right. Perhaps the best way to get
through Washington is to pull a
sack over your head and keep going
I have never tried this method, but
I couldn't do any worse than have
done in the many, many times I
have struggled through the city with
my eyes uncovered.
The most awful problem to the
passing through notorist Is the
circles, which are as common in
Washington as Missouri Office e-hold-
ers. The circles are filled with grass
and statues. and from them stem
everything you can imagine in the
way of traffic An avenue comes in
here and goes out yonder. A street
crosses the avenue and sneaks off
between two buildings. Some are
marked NV, some are marked S.W.,
and others are NE, Sc, until the
compass is boxed, and the hapless
motorist starts wishing he knew
where Maj. Pierre c. L'Enfant Is
buried, so he could lay a wreath Of
cactus.
am telling you no lie when l
tell you that have spent more time
getting around Dupont Circle than
Nine. Curie ever did on radium.
I sincerely believe that the chief
reason most of our Presidents have
sought a second term was in the
hope that after eight years in the
White House they would be able to
know where their police escort was
taking them when the cars whirled
about a circle. Iago so far as to
hazard q guess that President Tru-
man, turned loose in car in Wash
ington, eventually would have to ask
cop how to get back to the White
House.
Speaking of cops, Washington
cops are little DIT on the gruf
side with mere citizens. This is per-
fectly natural. They are so used to
waving through foreign dignitaries,
being slightly obsequious to Senators
who can't be given tickets for speed
ing, etc, that when a poor, ordinary
taxpayer gets mixed up. they just
can't help but get little old-fash-
ioned policeman-steam off their
chests.
Signs Make 1t Easy.
Driving through Washington Is
not made easier by the various signs
placed to guide the motorist and
pedestrian. All of a sudden a green
light. bristling with arrows, says.
Walk" At the same time another
says, Don't Walk" All the time
others blink advice to Turn on
Green" Spin on Right" stop on
Magenta" Hesitate on Beige" and
Skip on Chartreuse." At least, that
is the impression befuddled visitor
gets.
Thank goodness for the Wash
ington Monument. It doesn't take
motorist long to learn that, when
going south, he can be guided by
the Monuments straight, white
finger, and eventually get to bridge
that will lead him Into Virginia and
out of Washington's madness.
am quite sure that il George
Washington we're to return to earth
today, and start driving through
Washington toward his home in
Mount Vernon. he WOULD say, II
am mighty glad, Martha, they put
up that monument foy me. I can
follow it and it'll get us on the
right road home"
Distributed by McNsusht Syndicate. 1ne.l