Browning chief. [volume] (Browning, Mont.) 1941-1953, 1946-02-22
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Little Kno,Un Stories
about WeH-KnotUn PEG pie:
iHEu ScrviceJ 4

paign recalls a delightful story
about grand lady: A New York
merchant once approached FDR's
mother at banquet and offered to
contribute $500 to the Warm Springs
Foundation if she would pose for a
picture with his mother. Sarah
Roosevelt replied she would be will
ing to pose even If he didn't con-
tribute any money. The mer-
chant then said he would give 81 900.
>. "And now" he added, "I'n
bring my mother over here. She is
90, and this will be the biggest thrill
In her life."
''In that case" said the 84-year-
old Mrs. Roosevelt, "I'll 60 to her
I'm younger"
While working as an editor for
several leading magazines, Theo-
dore Dresser wrote a fabulous
amount of wonderful wordage-
short stories, poems, plays, essays,
social studies and novels, including
his most famous work, can Amer
lean Tragedy" In '27 he visited
the Soviet Union as a guest Of the
government. When he stopped in
England on his way back. Mr..
Churchill asked him, well, what do
you think of Russian"
II told him." Dresser said Ito Bob
van Gelder), "that thought it was
a wonderful country, wonderful
system"
Nonsense" Churchill said, ait
won't last seven years."
Decades ago, Clarence barrow,
the famed lawyer, was the principal
speaker at a woman's club. After
his address he found himsef In con-
versation with few ladies who in
sisted on discussing birth control.
"Mr. Darrow." said one, "what do
you think Of birth control for the
masses?"
my dear lady," replied the IA
nous man, whenever hear people
discussing birth control, I always
remember that was the fifth.''
The late George Norris made a
speech in which he pointed out that
mankind's scientific and mechanical
progress hasn't prevented the bar
barism of war. . 1--WE have wars"
said Norris, because the human
race has learned how to improve
everything-except people,"
Neatest comment on Eisenhow-
er's outline of rehabilitation plans
came from one of the boys on the
CT Liberation Committee in Paris.
10 hoI fo1l
you see firemen playing checkers
in the firehouse you don't send them
home because there's nothing to do.
And it's the same in Germany. The
soldiers may be sitting around with
nothing to door so they think. But
their presence there is very neces-
sary."
"Mebbe so,' said the soldier
who'd been told five times of a sail
ing date, only to have it changed),
but even fireman gets disgust
ed-when there are nothing but
false alarms!"
This is Mark Twain tale we
haven't come across before.
When Mark was at the height of his
career he informed a friend ut
took me ten years to discover that
l had no talent for writing"
"And you gave it up?"
"Oh, no! BY that time l was too
famouS!"
LAS long as we're on puns," adds
Frank Cases son, Carroll, 1.-The win
ner and still champion is old Sam
uel johnson, who was approached
by would-be wit in the Mermaid
Tavern (the Algonquin of it's day..
The wag said: Now admit it, Sam;
the only reason you don't like puns is
that you can't make them To
which johnson punned: Sir, if l
we're punished for every pun shed,
I'd have no puny shed in which to
rest this punish head"
That reminds US of our pet pun.
.. "a pun," someone said, lis
the lowest form of wit, pun my soul
it is!'
Quotation Workmanship: Doro-
thy Dix: Drying widows tears
is one of the most dangerous occupa-
tons known to man. Geo. S.
Perry: Tugboats shooting the air
full of sharp, white toots. Paul
Ernst: Looking crisp and cool as
though she had slept on mint leaves.
F. E. Jones: Impatient soldiers
overseas waiting for Returnity
Ben Grauer: He rode to the bot
tom on one-way pawntickets.
Jack Marshall: He's a patriot with
the accent on the riot. . Thoreau:
l would not talk so much about my
self if there were anybody else
whom l knew so we'll. LaRoche-
foucauld: I'm their first passion
women love their lovers. In all 9TH
ers they love love.
When winston Churchill debarked
from the Queen Elizabeth in N. Y.