Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1946-11-18

column, which, Henry McLemore.
according to doctored statistics, is
supposed to influence as many as
half dozen people every decade.
Il want you to attack magazines
aimed at the female reading pub
lic," he said--and he said 1t with
great bitterness. Il am not a rich
man, as you know, but I will pay
you until 1t hurts II you'll do some
thing that will keep such magazines
from the eyes of my wife and the
wives of my friends"
He then told me that during an
average month his wife read Better
Bungalows and Chimneys, Shack
Charming, City and Suburb, Happy
Homework, to name a few of the
magazines aimed at the gals.
"They make life miserable for us
men," he continued. "A good half OF
the contents of such magazines is
devoted to the never-ending i'm
provement and Identification of fur
niture and food. used to have a
favorite chair, and it was a great
comfort to me. 1t had grown mid
dle-aged with me. and seemed to
sigh with content, just as I did, when
I settled in it.
Comfortable Chair Spoiled
"But month or so ago. my wife
read in one of those magazines how
to revitahze old furniture. Poisoned
by the furniture editor, she decided
that that chair must be made to
blend in with the soap dish in the
guest bathroom which was an eye
sore in the house, as 1t was. So she
had the chair done over, and today
it is about as comfortable as buck
ing bronco"
Mercy, do women do things like
that?" I asked in amazements
do they? haven't told you the
worst. It's when they get to tam
pering with food that man goes
crazy. After all, let man get
tired enough and he can sleep on
the floor or doze in three cornered
love seat copied after Nero period
piece.
"But the hungrier a man gets, the
more he Graves solid, sound food
I love rice-just plain, well-cooked,
white, flaky rice. But do I get 1t?
No. My wife read that rice could
be made more attractive to the eye
by adding blanched almonds, finely
chopped Sen-Sen, the Juice Of man
goes, and crushed nasturtium
petals"
why don't you shoot her?"
asked.
II have thought about that" he
said, but have come to the con-
clusion that shooting is too good
for her after what, she did to a
pheasant the other night. ''
Pheasant Served Whole.
"A friend had sent me a brace Of
pheasants from Dakota. Perfect
things. I smacked my lips all after
noon at the thought Of them. You
should have seen what was served
She (here he Kissed the hiss that
leads to Reno) had read in one of
those magazines how Louis dat
Ritz Carlton Hotel, New York City,
prepared game. Something about
the casserole of meat flanked by the
brilliant plumage of the bird itself
an be darned If she hadn't tried
it, and there by the pheasant meat
stood the feathers, head, tail, and
whatnot of what was left of the
pheasant. I am now afraid to
ask for steak, lest she have a taxi
dermied COW standing on the platter
I told her I'd take my food plain
I don't eat with my eyes,"
I told my friend he needn't pay
me anything for selling out my
column for day; that I'd be glad
to do what I could. After all, my
wife reads those magazines, too
and only last night as a surprise
for me had basted the pot roast
with equal parts of chocolate Ice
cream and lemon extract.
She won't read those women's
magazines for quite a spell, though
Not unless she can see through the
beeksteak that covers her deer
violet peppers.
distributed by McNaueht Syndicate, Inc.