Evening star., 1946-11-26


and who held a rank lower than
warrant officer, was Just as sur
prised over the lack of doctors as
I was. When I was in the Army
tand, remember. when 7 mention
my years in the Army I am trying
to capitalize on my service record
just as the politicians from Lodge,
Stassen, etc, and down do). When
I was In the Army, as / said before,
there was no lack of medical men.
Now, I'll admit that most OF them
didn't have degrees. and some Of
them hadn't reached the age where
shaving was a morning chore, but
they treated us soldiers for any
ailment we might have had.
Called Technicians.
I think they were called medical
technicians. never made thor
ough study of the qualifications of
q medical technician, but I believe
he had to prove that he couldn't
cook, couldn't back up a truck,
couldn't master the intricacies of
stoking a furnace, was slightly gun
shy, even on the rifle range where
the targets don't fire back, wore a
streak OF sadism as jauntily as any
Air Corps officer ever did his cap,
and couldn't keep in STEP.
Any way, these medical techni-
clans were to be found in every
infirmary in every camp In the
United States. They were particu-
larly numerous at camps such as
Camp Wheeler. Ga, where the in
fantry requirements were trained.
Nothing in the world OF science
was too daring for these privates.
pics and corporals to try. They had
the true scientific spirit in that they
wanted to experiment, experiment
and experiment. I'll never forget
my first meeting with one. went
on sick call, miserable all over with
head, chest. leg and arm cold.
what ails you. soldier2" the pri-
vate white greeted me, with q
look that would chill molten lead
Are you gold-bricking? A hike
coming up, EN-? Well fix you right
up. You'll be back with your COM
pany in half an hour"
He rolled half dozen pills on a
table top. The smallest was the
size of Dempsey's thumb. and the
one with the loveliest color was a
dappled gray with liver spots, as ii
1t had been left too long in the
bottom of vase of flowers.
Bedside Manners.
take your pick" the technician
said. "One Of 'em will cure you, OF
one OF 'em win kill you" As he
turned aside to play . hand OF
blackjack, made my choice.
took the one the size Of m indoor
baseball with just . tinge Of purple
showing on its edges.
Gould have some water?" ]
asked.
Water" the technician said.
water? Where you are going, SOL
dier. you,l be lucky to see water
every month. We are teaching the
men to swallow 'em dry these days"
The bedside manner Of the tech
nicians who administered the yari-
Gus 1shots" In the arm was just rs
solicitous. I once saw an infantry
recruit get lost In the maze OF
rubber foot mats which led from
one shot" to another. He got
three tetanus shots, two choleras,
four smallpoxes, and heaven knows
what else. Every time he would
turn the wrong way. he'd get an
other needle. When he finally man
aged to get to the door leading to
the outside. three needles still
dangled from his arm. A pfc. tech
Inician said, Never mind the
needles. Wen just put them on
his statement Of charges. He'll have
to pay for his carelessness next
month"
But, and this is the funny part,
few OF us soldiers got really sick.
We managed to keep going. The
medical technicians kept us in shape
to walk Is miles day and gripe "A
hours a day.
Turn loose those enlisted Mayos
and Oslers If the shortage becomes
acute. They'll keep the Nation fit,
frSistrih,,fed nv McNauefnt Syndicate Inc \