Evening star., 1946-07-16

They have to get you out to make
room for the man who has been
promised your room, and who is
walking up and down in the lobby
with his fists doubled and blood In
his eyes.
This IS my sixth or 30 week In
New York. / moved five times In the
first four weeks. That was before ]
learned not to answer the telephone,
whore the fellow with the bouton-
Mere and the dresseu-up pants and
coat Is liable to be at the other end.
Finally, I got smart. I figured. and
rightly, II no one could get hold Of
me. no one could put me out. I
stopped answering the phone. I
stopped going out, and I stopped
answering any knocks on the door.
Don't Disturb"
Naturally, this played havoc with
my business and social life, but,
brother, I had q place to stay. As
q matter Of fact, We had . pretty
busy life there in the hotel room.
We didn't admit q maid for fear 1t
was an assistant manager In maids
clothing, 50 We had to wash the
sheets and counterpanes and towels
and hold them out of the window
by hand to dry.
House detectives, alarmed by q
solid week Of Z don't disturb" sign,
and no signs Of life within, twice
broke into the room. But they were
so delighted to find us alive, well,
busily occupied, and married, that
they bit happily into their unlit
stogies, tipped their black bomb
throwers' hats and crossed their
hearts they wouldn't tip Oh the desk
that We were still there.
OF course we had to eat, 50 one
OF US would sneak out about four in
the morning. use the service eleva-
tor. and emerge through the base
ment. One can always ind q deli
catessen open in New York, with
Mrs. Delicatessen at the cash
register, and Mr.. Delicatessen slicing
the meat as thin as he can to make
those 75-cent, carry-out sandwiches.
Right now, I'd like to ask a ques-
tion: Why In the world can't
delieatessens make potato salad that
resembles the flavor Of potato salad7
No matter, the delicatessen, little
or big, on Madison avenue or on
Main street, the potato salad ALWAYS
tastes like large chunks Of white
shoe leather, lightly sprinkled with
green paint.
Here's . Letta Lies.
Being copped up like this In New
York IS going to make us have to
tell . lot of lies at home in order
TO maintain our standing in the
community. What will our town
folk think If we report that we
didn't see show every night with
double-up on matinee days? Wei
can't even report on how much
cheaper things are In Macy's base
ment than they are in the local
hardware store. They'll ask who wei
saw at the "Stork" and "21" and
Toots Shor's." We won't be able toI
mention q celebrity we saw. And,
IS for our autograph bookshelf,
We might just as well not have
brought them along. i
But, I'll tell you another thing vel
have put over ON this hotel. Not
only are We still here, but we have
used plenty-but puh-lenty-of the
free stationery and postcards. The
one who goes out for the food at
night stops at the mexzanine writ
Ing desks and loots 'em clean.
Delivering my stories to the office
Is = bit dimcult. I cast them out of
the window in bottle and trust the
tides Of traf1lc will wash them to the
doors of my syndicate. HushI
There's knock at the door. Gotta
quit typewriting. Good might.
Distributed BY McNausht Syndicate. 1ne,