Browning chief. [volume] (Browning, Mont.) 1941-1953, 1946-05-17

she said in a low voice, "because-
well, you've never said anything to
me about your past life, and I'm not
asking you, but I know you aren't
referring only to physical distress.
Such disaster as yours doesn't
Just change your bodily powers, but
everything else. You had to face
spiritual tragedy as well, didn't
you?"
eyes, I did,"
"And you did face it," she went
on. Instead of becoming resentful
and bitter, you became so wise and
kind and understanding that every
one who sees you feels the presence
of a great man. You have suffered
terribly, but you have no reason to be
ashamed of yourself"
Neither have you, Mrs. Her.
long"
"How do you know"
"You haven't told me anything
about your past life either" he re-
turned smiling. "But as soon as
came into your home the first time,
I knew was meeting mature and
courageous woman. It's impossible
for anyone to live as long as you
have"
"Forty-four years." she said with
a little laugh. "I'm not sensitive
about the passage Of time"
Every well, it's impossible for
anyone to live forty-four years with
out experiencing good many I'M
pleasant events, things you either
have to face or run away from.
When you meet a woman whose
husband adores her, whose children
are intelligent and uninhibited,
whose domestic affairs run like in
visible clockwork, and who goes
about with serenity suggesting
that all these things just happened
that way-you can be sure that she
achieved it by meeting each crisis
as it came. Some peoples lives are
like Wastebaskets, so cluttered up
that nobody can find anything there
but trash that should have been dis
posed of long ago."
II have tried to keep things
clear" she answered simply. IT
can't say I've always been success
full. But looking back, can say
I've tried"
when left your home that first
evening, I told you that being there
had made me very happy. Perhaps
you thought I was too intense in
what I said. But had seen so
much clutter, so much wretchedness
that could have been avoided, that
it did make me happy to see so
much unobtrusive richness of living.
I had hoped 1 should find you like
that"
"You had hoped? Why did you
care what you'd find?"
He bit his lip as though he had
said too much. But he answered,
"Was it too much to hope for?
had left continent of torture and
despair, for one thing; for another,
liked and admired your husband,
and he had shown me your photo
graphs. You have a good life, Mrs.
Herlong, because you have made it
good life. Don't lose it now by be-
ing afraid"
How can I help being afraid?"
she exclaimed. Eyes, I have a good
life. I've said so myself thousand
times. And I have worked for it.
AS you said, there are plenty of &C.
casions in anybody's experience
when he's tempted to sit down and
quit trying. But when you do
achieve good life, when you feel
that now at last you have what you
want and can enjoy having it, and
then when you see it about to be
blown to pieces by circumstances
you aren't responsible for and can't
control-how can you help being
afraid? I'm sick with fear. l look
over it all-Spratt bothering about
his pictures, Brian with his bats and
bugs, Cherry excited about a party
dress, Dick struggling with his les
sons, and think, How much long
er?' l love them so, I've been so
proud to know l was important to
them-but now!" She stopped. "Why
on earth am I talking to you like
this? It's the first time I've been
so frank about it to anybody"
"You couldn't talk to anybody
who'd be more interested" Kessler
answered. cts good now and then
to confess our fears. OF course
you're frightened. You see the war
coming closer, you don't know what
it may. bring"
II do know" she interrupted
sharply. Il don't live in a tower
looking down on two conflicting ide-
ologies! Oh, it may be noble strug-
gle, fought for better world, but
l don't see it that way and I can't.
I don't see it in terms Of anything
but NV son."