Evening star., 1946-12-16

tenactty, able diplomacy, and every
thing else 1t has. is capable of find
ing another Fuehrer. A. Hitler came
right out of the Devils private col
lection of horrors, monstrosities and
goons, where he was Exhibit A, and
don't believe that Messrs. Attlee,
Bevin, Laski and the other leaders
Of Britains Labor Party have ac-
cess to that stronghold
AS for Britain creating second
Hitler, please tell me, how would
Britain go about it? To start with,
whore would Britain find baby
to start working with who looked
like Hitler when he was baby?
Remember that awful snapshot the
papers and magazines used to run
of Adolf? 1t looked like a much
too casual. photograph of a mutt
which had just won Worst Of Show
at the Westminster Kennel Club
show. All that baby needed was q
touch of shaving lather around its
mouth to become a member in good
standing of the Hounds of the
Baskervilles. / am sure his christen-
ing present was studded collar
and a good juicy stew bone.
Looked Better Than Adolf.
But, say Britain located such a
baby, what then would Britain do
for a young man who resembled
Hitler when he was soldier In
World War I. You remember how
he looked then. don't you? I was
a right silly looking soldier myself
have heard that two generals
broke their own arms rather than
return my salute-but I looked a
thousand times better than Adolf
ever did when, as private, he was
building beer halls for officers. At
least my neck rubbed against my
collar every once in a while. But
Hitler's neck, to judge from the
photograph, just grew out OF his
collar like a geranium out of a pot.
He looked to be the sort of soldier
his government wouldn't even trust
to betray a secret to the enemy.
But, say Britain located a baby
that looked as awful as Hitler did
as a baby, and soldier who had
the same forlorn aspects that Adolf
did as a soldier, how would Britain
then go about finding a man who
painted houses and pictures as
badly as Der Fuehrer did? / once
read an article by man who had
lived in a house painted by Hitler,
and he said his house looked as If it
might have been painted by an
octogenarian sea lion who had taken
up house painting after being fired
by the circus because he no longer
could play on the cornet or balance
anything rounder than a brick on
his nose. ~ ,-
Long Way to Go
But, say Britain located just the
right baby, soldier, and house
painter, it still would have a long
way to 60. How would Britain
teach a man to chew rugs, as Hit
Ter is said to have done when some
minor setback, like loss of Pan
zer Division, vexed him? Teachers
of rug chewing are few and far be-
tween. There used to be quite a
few of them around but today !
dare say you could search the Lon
don Classified Directory without
finding single qualified teacher of
rug chewing.
OF course, there is a bare chance
that Britain might find the proper
baby, soldier, house painter, and
natural free-style rug chewer, but
even If it did, what then? What
about that mustache? That hair
do? That 14-carat, imported. CASH
mere insanity?
No, Pravda, Britain has no chance
Of building another Hitler.
The one and only A. Hitler now is
being basted in a place he tried
to duplicate here on earth.
Distributed by McNausht Syndicate. Inc)