The globe-independent. (Hagerstown, Md.) 1943-19??, 1946-11-28

hours on end.
known Ruby's
counterpart in :
your lives-one ''''A@ -
of those well-intentioned and per-
ennially naive people who, quite I'M
consciously, add so much to the gal
ETY. Of nations.
My particular Ruby has held
forth all of her life in the little
Quaker town in Indiana that I so
often bark back to. Never a small
girl, Ruby in her late tWenties, as
sumed quite vast proportions (espe-
cially above the belD, but her very
handsome legs and size four and
half feet never increased with the
rest of her, so that she always gave
the impression of a pouter pigeon
whose underpinnings had been af-
fixed to the wrong chassis.
Ruby, from childhood on, was
addicted to overdressing. When l
was child and huge picture hats
were in vogue, Ruby simply outdid
the universe in the size and decOra-
ton of her hats. In fact she was dis
tinctly reminiscent of ward
Lear's Quangle-W angle Quee" -
whose hat was a hundred and two
feet wide, with ribbons and bibbons
ON every side and bells and buttons
and loops and lace, so that nobody
ever could see the face of the
Quangle-Wangle Quee,"
During her ga and busy salad
days, Ruby had been engaged to a
series of attractive men, from each
of whom she had received a hand
some diamond. Come the newt
able termination of the engagement,
Ruby, who in spite of being gener.
GUS had touch of maybe in her
blood insisted upon clinging to the
loot, much to the embarrassment of
the retiring contenders whose more
current fiancees didn't like the idea.
In spite of the fact that Ruby was
not what you could honestly de-
scribe as a brain, she was an avid
and excellent bridge player, and
when the bridge craze struck the
village, supplanting the pleasant
and leiSurely afternoons of CONVEX !
sation and tea, her parents over
crowded house was practically in
undated with the fruits of Ruby's
successes at the bridge table. Your
first thought, upon entering the
prize-crowded living room was,
Decor by Hoyle."
Finally, in her thirties, Ruby mar
ried-after a ''whirlwind" courtship
of not more than ten years. And in
addition to acquiring a husband she
also acquired a German Shepherd
dog, named King. Dropping in from
Chicago to call on her one after
noon,, with cousin of mine whose
sense of humor was highly unor-
thodox, we sat among the bridge
prizes sympathizing with her over
the recent death of her father.
For some moments my eyes had
been riveted on what appeared to
be an animal skin, complete with
head, draped over the radiator in
front of the window. 1t certainly
was not bear rug, nor lynx nor
a tiger. It resembled nothing in
the world but a German shepherd
dog. I saw my cousin cycling it fur
lively and finally, unable to stand
the suspense any longer I caught
Ruby's attention and pointed to The
Thing.
ooh isn't that sweet, isn't it sweet,
isn't it sweet" inquired Ruby, who
always said everything in triplicate.
''It's King. We just couldn't bear to
part with him."
From that point on until we made
a rather abrupt exit, the davenport
shook with the smothered laughter
of my cousin. AS soon as we were
far enough from the house to be
safe, she leaned against me and had
mild Mysteries.
IT was afraid to look in the dining
room, "she gasped finally, ''for fear
they'd have her father on the floor
in front of the buffet"
Back in the days when tea wagons
became the rage, Ruby got the big
gest, most elaborate tea wagon in
the world-an impressive affair of
shining mahogany and plate glass,