St. Paul recorder. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1934-2000, 1946-12-27
Dear Joe
A VETERANS CHRISTMAS
SONG
By JAMES L. HICKS

A VETERANS CHRISTMAS
SONG
Dear Santa Claus:
I've never had the nerve to ask
you for anything since you let me
live in New Guinea during the
Christmas of 1913 and saved my
neck in that submarine attack a
thousand miles off Honolulu on
Christmas Day in 1915.
Now that I'm safe back home I'm
not going to start asking you for
eggs in my beer because, after
being with me on the other side
for three years, no one knows bet
ter than you that am not used to
it. But I am going to ask you to
give me one thing, Santa Claus. I'm
going to ask you to give me now
the same thing l had when the
bombs were falling in 1943-the
same thing l had when that subs
torpedoes came diving my way in
the middle Of the Pacific on Christ
mas Day in 1915.
Santa Claus, I'm asking you
to give me an even break.
Don't act surprised, Santa
Claus. Too many people act
surprised these days when guys
like me ask for an even break.
It's funny how people can change
when the shells stop flying.
Over there in New Guinea in
1913 l had a good rife, a map of
the surrounding country and a
damn good idea of whom was sup
posed to be fighting against.
Nine times out Of ten l knew
from which direction the Jap would
be coming and from the hole where
l lay l knew that if l stayed on
the alert and remembered the
things I'd been trained l had a
$3.50 chance Of getting the Jap be-
fore he got me.
Even when the Jap came by air,
| usually got three to five minute
warning that he was coming and
there were guys in the air over
my head who'd give their lives to
see that he didn't drop a bomb in
my hip pocket. Even when that
submarine struck on Christmas day
we had been warned twelve hours
before that she was on our trail
We knew she was coming and were
ready when she got there.
In other words, Santa Claus, We
had an even chance-and that is
what want for Christmas.
Take that surprised look off your
face, Santa Claus, and take a look
at this reconverting America-this
Operation U. S. A"
/ was three years old when the
boys came home after the last war
so you can see I've never had any
training for this reconversion war
fare.
Sure, l heard about the riots
and the Iynchings that followed
the last war, and come to think
about it I was rather a. pretty
husky yOungster when they
turned the gas on the bonus
marchers q few years back, but
honestly Santa Claus, when l
signed up in 1910. the U. S. A.
promised me that all that kind Of
business was over. And kid that
| was, Santa Claus, l believed il.
They tell me that the CT Bill o.
Rights is my rife in the War o.
Reconversion. They say with i
I'm a giant killer-that l dom
need fear any kind Of attack. Blu
take a look at this rifle they've
given me, Santa Claus. It's
funny frearm. 1t only shoots &C
curately for certain kinds of PEG
pie.
When I first got my hands OF
that CT Bill of Rights rife, tool
it apart and studied it just like
studied the parts Of my old Spring
field back in basic training. Aftel
| l was sure how every part of il
was supposed to work l picked out
my target and lined up my sights
But you know what happened
Santa Claus-take that surprised
look off your face-you knew al
the time that for me that rifle haC
blank ammunition. You knew but
now you act surprised, SAINTS
Claus.
When I found that rife had blanl
cartridges in it l didn't give up
a good soldier never gives up OF
( the firing line. So looked arounC
for something else to fight with anC
l got my hands on a pistol calleC
Public Law l6.
1 qualified to fight with this
! gun in the War Of ReeOnversiOI