The Waterbury Democrat., 1946-10-17
HAnES HEARTBEAT

HADES HEARTBEAT
 Devils About Town: Benedict Arr mold telling Pierre Laval that Bilbo and Rankin are the greatest Con- gressmen America ever had Hirnmler rocking with laughter while he reads about the persecu- tious in Yugoslavia and Palestine Mussolini greeting coward Goering and the other supermen and wondering why 1t Is taking so long for his chum Franco to ar- that the Moscow propagandists are stealing his stuff Naz Gen. Rommel discovering the meaning of Hell when he learns the Allies are kow-towing to most German mili- tariSts in an effort to win the sup- port of Germany for the next war. If General Romnel had lived-he might have become big shot! One devil insulting another by tell- ing him to go to earth!"
 Satan's Sallies: A politician and a diplomat were arguing about who had done the most to ruin civ- ilization. The politico bragged he had caused humanity the most heartaches by taking advantage of chaotic conditions to bamboozle the people Whereupon the dip- lomat gloated: But remember 1t was who created the chaos first!" =. Satan says the world wouldn't An TrAtva~ fA Hall # trn makers in 1t would go first.
 Memos of . He'll Raiser: Hades has only two best sellers. They are Karl Marks "Das Kapital' and '.Mein Kampf" The devils are threatening to sue the Ku Klx Klan for unfair competition A recent poll has revealed the most popular words in Hell are "ap- peasement" and power politics" All censors and Winchell editors are punished here by being forced to exist without 8 blue pencil |. Huey Long has sent note of con- gratulations to those responsible for delaying the trial of the 26 alleged seditionistS. Hmfl
 Next World Street Scenes: The arrival of the So-called good Ger mans accompanied by the chumps who insisted those Germans could be trusted A fleet of U-boatS anchored in the River Styx .. '. Communists and FaScistS jabbing each other with their horns A group Of happy devils wagging their tails when they heard the news about the flop of the Paris Confer ence A monument being erect ed to honor those who are urging an atomic war Hades ctti- zens being forced to sit through a double feature every day.
 Novelette,: His life was built on . mountain of cadavers His biog- raphy was written in blood. He murdered, starved and tortured millions of innocent humans. He ranted and raved and built great military machine His aim was the obliteration of civilization and his target was humanity But all bis strength and brutality could never achieve his evil plans .. Yet those who defeated him are now haunted by his ghost. His spirit is now writing the history of the world He exists wherever there is fear, hatred and suspicion Those who destroyed him are now trying to destroy themselveS-becarse they have forgotten his body wasn't their greatest foe-only his mad ideas .. And as long as we fail to eradicate his ideas, A. Hitler will be the most popular pitch-fork car Tier in Hell.
 Sounds in the Hot Night: At the Cafe Buchenwald: ''The Allies sent the Nazis here, and now the Allies seem to be following them" .. At the Satan Club: There is place reserved here for Gerald L. K. Smith" At the Devils Bean- cry: Its as hot here as diplomats are trying to make it for each other on earth" |. Along the River Styx: Do you think John L. Lewis will ever replace Satan?" At the Pitch-Fork and Horns Inn: He gets drunk every night in an effort to forget he was once a citizen of the Upper World" At the Swas- tika Club: What are you Nazis complaining about? Isn't this the Hell you always wanted to make of the world?" At the Ham, mer and Sickle Rendezvous: "The only people who think there's a difference between Communism and Fascisrn are the saps who are Con- munists and Fascists!" At the Red Devil Hofbrau: "Winchell should call him counterfeit Bilbo."
 Hell of Fame: Black orchids to the labor leaders who are trying to destroy Americas economic system via strikes although this sys- tenn has given workers their high est standard of living Bigoted legislators who have poll-tax to grind Gimme-gangs who are inviting danger by helping the in- vasion of imitation Power poli- ticians who have forgotten why the last war was fought and are fight ing to start another . Imperial ists who would rather make their own nations bigger than make a