Evening star., 1946-08-02

!
pie who speak of him as being less
pure than the lily, less tainted than
the white plume of Henry Of Ma
varre, and less knowing than a
forestful of monkeys. Those red
gallusses ride on a tender hide, ap-
parently, and Hon. Gene is ready
to take them off and fog a critic
at the slightest excuse.
Hardly a Brave Man.
I have been told, both by brave,
bold anonymous letter, and brave,
bold, mysterious phone call, that
the simplest infraction of Georgia
law on my part, once Hon. Gene
gets in, will result in my getting
a treatment that will make what
the English did to Napoleon seem
like two weeks at a good American
plan hotel. Let me park my car
by a flreplug, one postal card in
formed me, and I will be tried for
treason, sedition, melting a riot,
carrying chicken pox germs, skip
ping rope without a license, run
ming amok without a permit, and
selling loaded dice to kindergarten
Convictions on all these charges
and my postal card correspondent
says that would be mortal cinch-
would place me in durance vile
until the election of decent gov
ernor.
Not being a brave mani got my
Purple Heart because some fool sent
me where the fighting was-and
being as my business requires me
to pass through Georgia several
times year, I am working on plans
which will enable me to get in and
out of the State without being pun
ished.
The disguise I plan to use on my
first trip North is gray military
suit with brass buttons, and ait will
be set off with a gray hat. My wife
is stitching it up right now, and my
chin Is busy growing a gray beard to
go with it. I will go by car to the
Georgia line, but at that point will
mount a handsome gray horse and
cross the State astride him.
Whenever any one approaches
will cluck to the horse and say
"Giddyap, Traveller" thus dispelline
any doubt any one might have that
am not Robert E. Lee. I don't
think that even the Hon. Gene OF
any of his relatives. who, / am sure
will be working for the State OF
Georgia at that time, would harm
one supposed to be Robert E. Lee
despite that fact that Gen. Lee
never did, and never would, stand
for the things the Hon Gene does.
Could Join Fiery Boys.
Of course, one sure way to guar
antee safe passage through the
State would be to join up with the
Fiery Cross boys. AS I get 1t, being
| resident of Florida, I wouldn't
have to pay the full dues, but could
get a nonresident membership for
about half the price. A sort OF
guest membership, good for two
weeks, so to speak.
| But I hate to do this. have
reached the age where I don't want
to climb stone mountains steep
and slippery side at midnight. Too
never like to dress up in a sheet
except on Halloween. I can't i'm
agine many things more uncomfor-
table than driving through Georgia
on a summer day wrapped up in a
sheet, with a pillowcase pulled over
my head. Dangerous, too. Might
run off the road and injure some
sensible citizens who voted for Car
michael. After all, he did get the
most votes, but thanks to a system
which was the second thing brought
out of King Tut's tomb, Carmichael
didn't win.
Notice to my friends: My schemes
to get through Georgia probably
will work, but if they don't, please
start baking me cakes with files
hidden in them
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