Evening star., 1946-04-26

read political advertisements. 1t
would be a very dull fellow, indeed
who didn't get a lift from these
advertisements and the knowledge
that the United States Is soon to
be governed by such fine, sterling
outstanding and progressive men.
I subscribe to papers from nine
or ten States and, judging from
the advertisements, there isn't an
ordinary man running for Office in
any of those States. Every single
candidate is good locking. There
isn't weak chin, or a bloodShot
eye, or receding forehead seeking
office. Every one of them is well
dressed. There is no suit or shirt
shortage among the candidates.
Every One Fearless.
Every one of them stands fol-
the things you and I hold dear
With a fearlessneSs that makes us
voters feel humble, these candidates
come right out in the open and
take stand on some of the most
controversial subjects in the world
Looking at a Kentucky newspaper
II find a Liberal seeker
after the county solicitors office
who trumpets challenge for purer
water for his home town. Without
one moments hesitation, he fatty
declares that he takes a firm stand
against poisoned wells in his COM
munity.
In my own locality we have a man
running for the Senate who, despite
the votes it may cost him. is against
another war Two of the planks
in his platform fatty declare that
war is bloody, expensive, and thai
he, once placed in the Senate, will
do his level best to save his con-
stituents from World War III.
Another thing 1 like about tht
candidates is that every one O.
them has seen military service o.
some kind. Frankly, man WHIT
hasn't served as soldier in som,
war is not going to be elected. HI
may have an I. @. of 1879, have in.
ternational knowledge at his finger.
tips, and have the Nations interes
at heart, but unless he can wave al
old Sam Browne belt over his heat
and do right dress on the plat
form, he's a dead pigeon.
Proof of this is to be found in tn,
political advertisements Candi
dates are digging up some of tn,
most remote war records you eve
heard Of. In Jacksonville, Fla.
man is making capital of the fac
that he was an afraid warden
and that his wife was the first mem
ber of the Motor Corps to tea
down her own car and not be abl
/ to reassemble it.
Favorite Candidate.
| My favorite candidate, however
lives in Dallas, Tex. He is appeal
| ing to ex-servicemen on tn,
strength of having given blood t.
World War II through a bloot
bank. He was also a watcher. ant
takes a great deal of the credit fo
the fact that no bombs were dropped
on Dallas. While campaigning h,
wears an overseas cap which HI
stole from the blood bank wher
they put it over his eyes to keer
him from fainting.
Indiana has more than its shar,
Of men who have come out for tn,
rights of the people. There's al
Indiana Congress member who
against the advice of the machine
advocates houses for every one. II
New York City a candidate is gain
ing popularity by his amazing stant
against bank robbers. He does no
believe that bank robbery is goot
for this country.
So, my friends have asked me t,
run for office and have prepared tn
following advertisement in case
decide to run:
vote for Henry McLemore
Young, capable, fearless, clean cut
and man you'll be proud of. Il
conversation he has declared him
self against the following evils:
Moths. 2. Mosquitoes. 8. Certain
types of poison snakes. 4. Bills-a
the end of the month. S. Cake
containing saws given to long tim
prisoners.
He is for: /. Cakes not contain
ing saws for longtime prisoners
2. The dredging of the Potoma
River from point marked A to
point marked A-plus 3. A cafeteri
in the Washington Monument witt
a reasonably priced blue plate
lunch. 4. More money for colum
nists whose initials are H. M. S. TIL
i, elimination of national committee
men, patronage, nepotism and neu
ralgia"
This colur1n was written and pai,
for by friend.
/ distributed by 'McNaught Syndicate Tnr