Evening star., 1945-11-21

! AMY ONDRA.
-AP Photo.
to her and then she would certainl
be even more unhappy. I'm so in
f1nitely happy that he loves me s.
and pray that it will always be lik
this. I should never want to (be to
blame if once he should stop Low
ing me.
Again Unhappy.
March 3, 1885. I'm again mortal,
unhappy. Since I can't write hin
this book must serve to assuage m.
pain. He came Saturday when tn
town of Ms ball took place. Mrs
Schwartz had given me a loge ticke
for it and so was obliged to attens
at all costs since I had already ac
cepted.
Then I spent. few wonderful
hours with him until IL o'clock ant
then to the ball with his permission
He promised I would see him Sun
day. In spite of the fact I called VI
from Osteria and that I sent /,
message that I am waiting for hi
news he simply drove off the ZELDA
fing. He even refused Hoffman,
invitation to tea and supper.
We went to the train later be.
cause he had decided to leave bu
only arrived in time to see the real
lights. Hoffman and we others haG
again left the others too late ane
thus I couldn't even say good-by
Probably I'm too pessimistic. Agar
I hope but he hasn't been here now
for IA days and I'm so unhappy anc
have no peace of mind. Incident.
ally don't know why he should be
angry with me-perhaps because
went to the ball-but then he gave
me his permission.
Wishes She Was Ill.
I'm uselessly racking my brain a.
to why he should be driving away
without saying good-by. Hoffman
gave me a ticket for tonight's per.
formance of Venetian Night" but
won't go. I'm much too unhappy.
March. IL. 1885. I only wish
were seriously i'll for eight days anc
to hear nothing from him. Why
doesn't something happen to mel
Why do I have to suffer like this.
I wish had never seen him. I'm
desperate. I'm now going to bu,
more sleeping tablets. At least ther
I'll be half dazed and won't think
about him so much. Why doesn1
the devil come and get me? I'm
sure it's nicer there than here.
For three hours I stood outside
the Carleton and had to watch
while he brought flowers for Ondra
and invited her for supper (margin
note here read, just my crazy
imagination March 26). He's only
using me for a very definite pur-
pose margin note dated March 2t
-ba aloney).
When he says he loves me he
takes it about as seriously as his
promises which he never keeps
Why does he torture me so much
instead of just putting an end to the
whole thing?
Hitler Goes to Berlin.
March 16, 1885. He went to Ber.
lin again. If only didn't go off the
beam whenever I see him less thar
usually. Actually it's quite natura'
that he shows no great interest ir
me at present since there is se
much going on politically.
April /, 1885. Yesterday we wer
invited by him for supper at "Vier
jahreszeiten." I had to sit next t.
him for three hours and couldn'
say a word to him. When we wer
taking leave he handed me an en-
velope containing money, as he ha,
done once before. If only he ha,
at least added greetings or a kin,
word I would have been so happy
but he never thinks of anythin
like that. Why doesn't he 60 t
Hoffman's to eat? There at leas
would have him to myself for
few minutes. I only wish he woul
not come any more until his hom
is ready.
April 20, 1885. Things are tough
very much so in every respect.
keep humming to myself that every
thing will improve. But it doesn
help much. The house is ready, bu
! can't go visit him. Love does nc
seem to be on his program at pres
ent. Now that he is back in Berli
feel little better. but there wer
days during the last week when
: did my share of crying at nigh
especially since I spent Easter 9
home by myself.
Becomes Nervous.
I'm getting on everybody's nerve
because I want to sell everythin
from my clothes down to my phot
camera and even theater ticket
, Oh, well, things will improve. Afte
! all my debts are not that big.
, May 10, 1885. According to Fra
, Hoffman's kind and equally tactics
, remarks he has now substitute fl
! me. Her name is Walkure and sh
looks it, including her legs. Bt
these are shapes that appeal to hin
! If that's true he will soon have an
, noyed her until she gets slim unle.
! she has Charles talent for thrivin
on worries. Worry seems to increas
. her appetite.
i II Frau Has observations shoul
turn out to be true it's mean of hil
) not to tell me. After all he siioul
] know me well enough to realize
{ would never stand In his way. # b
: should discover another romanti
t interest why should he worry abo,
v what happens to me. I'll wait unit
E the Sd of June. BY then it'll
: three months since our last meetir
a and I'll ask him for an explanatio
: by mail.
Il The weather is gorgeous and
e mistress Of Germany's and Il
!. worlds greatest man, have to sit /,
{ home and look at 1t through Il
y window.
ii He has 30 little understanding ar
el still makes me aDuear distant vlS