Detroit evening times., 1945-11-22
IT'S LAUGHS
WE NEED
BY yHenry
Met ennore

1T Is not my habit 10 take is
L sue with such large. strong,
vIrllc. and hairy-chested men as
Charles Bickford, the Hollywood
character actor.
b. nature. like TO sneak
up behind midRsts and strike
them back of their mastoids,
When they are not looking.
I like 10 haze old, old men,
handicapped BY Morisy
phones, insult the girl I'm
Nth.
FH neUsr forget the fierce
battle ! had uith former
corresponding secretary Of the
Grand Army of the Republic
when, leaning on his Whisksrs
he whistlsd at me and the
chick ! uUas taking TO a Gene
Autry double feature.
He licked ns-but he had
10 use his eruteh.
AZ hand today is a letter from
Mr.. Bicktord. He asked me IN
this letter 10 support a move
ment 10 have our national
anthem changed from The Star
Spangled Banner TO America,
the Beautiful" He enclosed
copy of letter he had sent the
senator from California, Sheri.
dan Downey, seeking his aid In
this cause.
WHAT Mr.. Downey said I
W don't know, but here Is my
reaction:
Let's stay with The Star
Spangled Banner" Most OF Us
can't sing II, that's for sure, but
Il ia better 10 have a song in
your heart than in your vocal
chords. There are few Ameri-
cans who can hit that Wretched
high c. r. a or K II only took
music in public SCHOOL, that is
required 10 sing The Star
Spangled Banner properly but
there are fewer who don't have
funny feeling up their back
and down their necks when the
old song Is played.
II was written in a rough
hour. Mr.. Francis Scott Key
was strictly exposed TO shot and
shell when he did the song about
the stars and stripes. He was
over age He saw those lovely
-eeleFs- above -the-helA Aafuaff,- an
and put down what he felt--
That song has been sung in
most of our wars II has in
spred men. II has led them on
10 do things that ment don't
like TO do. It was played over
the crosses AT Gettysburg 1t
was PLAYED over The crosses in
Cuba II was played over the
crosses in Flanders. And. not
so long ago, If was played over
the fresh, white crosses Of
Africa, Italy Germany, and the
far reaches Of the Pacific.
! don't want 70 get serious,
because that sort Of thing IS
taken care Of by trained and
paid thinkers,
There are, incidentally more
pontlfcal writers IN this coun-
try today than there ever have
been.
A man can't pick up a news
paper without reading a column
by a man who, despite the fact
that he wears dOuble-breasted.
blue serge suits, and has 10
have his hair cut twice
a month, calmly and confidently
sits down and tells the whole
world billions Of people-what
they are doing wrong
Nothing aStounds me more
/ than that Just can't figure
out how a man who worries
about his rent his coal bill. his
head cold. and all the other
things that people worry about,
has the nerve TO sit down and
tell the universe what is alling II
But 10 get hack 10 changing
the national anthem from The
Star Spangled Banner TO
America. the Beautiful" What
will happen To Lucy Monroe .?
Lucy is the only woman who
ever made a career out of sing
ing the song | have heard her
sing al home plate in baseball
park, at barbeCues 10 INDECENT
snuff drum m ers. al almost
everything imaginable Change
II, and Lucy has lost a good
thing.
Another thing: the World
today is aimed toWord simpii-
feotion. That con be carried
too far. EUsrything eUentu-
ally WiH become too easy for
everybody. Nobody Wiii have
10 hustle or try 10 hit high
{. The nert thing you knoW.
our national anthem Wiil be
changed to "DoWn by the Old
NiH Stream" because II is sim
pile and su<.y- one hnoWs the
woyds and tune. After that. Il
WrH be reduced 10 "How You
Gonna Keep EN- DoWn on the
Farm
Finally every one will sit
down. No ono Will do any
thing The world Will be on a
slt-doWn strike. Life will end.
That u be good. No column