Detroit evening times., 1945-03-31
BRIGHTER
SIDE III :.
BY DomA'
Runyon


questioning OF motives. Too
much thought OF evil.
IL makes me very happy TO
know that / retain a pure mind
about my fellow men. like when
II is brought to my attention
that citizens are Offering
patches Of currency OF large de-
nominations at a considerable
sacrifice in exchange for paper
of less size.
AS for instance, $4,000 in big
bills for $1,000 in tens and twen-
ties, which is one alleged bar
gain recited TO me the other
evening by a narrator who had
heard il fom some one else.
| do not think, as many would
have done, ah-ha. some one is
trying TO unload nervous money
because the cashiers of many
places of business in New York
such as hotels and stores are
keeping tab on parties who pre-
sent slips of the old folding in
denominations Of 500 and up to
pass the info on 10 the guvin-
ment agents when they come
snuffling along on the trail of
the black market moo.
MO. INDEED. Such idea Of
~ evil never entered my head.
l said at once that ] did not be-
lieve the story of the cut-rate
beezum I conceded that it
might have happened as gag.
recalling the time that Joe
Ward, the city editor OF -
Denver Post. sent me out wit
ten-dollar gold piece 10 offer 70
passers-by for five dollars as a
stunt.
| think Joe felt the people OF
Denver were too diStruStful Of
their fellow citizens for their
own good, but strangely enough
the first fellow that came along
bought my tenner.
But even did ! believe the
story OF the big bills | would
4 just figure that perhaps the
/ poSSeSSorS were not strong
enough to tote those fat ones
around on their persons for any
length OF time. ! have known
men TO become fatigucd carry
ing no more than a few aces
and deuces IN their kicks.
When the race tracks we're
open the pOSsesSor Of large bills
could relieve himself Of their
burden by showing them into
the parl-mutuelS. The mutuels
clerks asked no questions.
though if The tracks opened to-
morrow the bookkeeping on
those Is and Gs and baby Gs
would be big job under the
new rules.
If YOU should 90 down inio
L Wall Street with a wheels
barrow loaded with cash money
and ask your broker 10 make
a few investment purchases for
YOU with same. do you think he
would accept with that warm
Cordiality befitting a wheelbar-
row customer DO YOU think
We would receive your do-re-mi
with guSto? l fear not | fear
the foul air OF suspicion has
drifted even 10 down there.
ANY familiarity with the
modus operandi that may seem
evidenced here Is purely com
Cidental, but the broker would
call YOU aside and tell you
what he had TO say was m -
embarrassing 10 hlm. but that
while he knew your money was
100 per cent okay and that he
was going 10 take II. he felt he
ought 10 tell you that he would
have 70 report II as a cash
transaction.
Naturally, this I a o m Q n I
would be followed by a strained
silence on your part because the
guy would be Just as good as
saying that maybe you were
thinking Of hiding this money
from Uncle Schmool and that
he was tipping you off. Finally
YOU would eXpla a bit
haughtily. that il was Just some
loose -HHeHey- -that-yoti- happened
10 have lying around otherwise
you would have paid il by
check and you give that broker
10 understand that he Is low
creature for limiting that YOU
might be thinking OF dealing
| Schmool out
THEN you take your money
Il or leave il. according 10
how YOU stand with the facts
and with your conscience, and
the broker marvels al the zil-
lions and zillions of dollars that
he has heard OF this season az
Just lying around. could
never be a broker because l
could never question motives
even in the indirect manner
suggested, however much I
might HldINtl dl a man ROlnR
10 the trouble Of pushing
wheelbarrow all the way IA
Wall Stdeet when he could have
posted the money by check
under a three-cent stamp.
/ hear that suspicious glances
are now being cast AZ the
rumored huge purchases by cash
in stores by ladies who formeghS
did all the purchasing in III
establishments through cha 49,
accounts. ] see nothing unusual
in this at all, but only confirma-
tion of opinion that the guvin-
ment itself is largely responsible