davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Detroit evening times., 1945-05-20

Rf1ti6F-ts raittnD Ave. Free Parking
Open 1880 Mat Cartoon Party
Richard Arlen IN The Bic BONANZA. ="
The Jade MASK" with Sidney Toler
Detroit evening times., 1945-05-20

Hang it up or put
it with your wool
ems for protection,
Detroit evening times., 1945-11-15
One Word Led 10 Another
BY ARTHUR BUGS" BAER-
The Top Gate Of Al! line

The Top Gate OF All lime
TTNHEY figure if Conn and Louis go they will
i draw 100000 happy certificates
them both in October and they look better than
receiped bill Strangely enough Bob Consdine and
the only newspapermen present in Conns camp the Friday
afternoon the army called off their rough scramble.
Their first supervised riot of the classics of the
ring Their second would have topped that for Conn in
better shape than West Pointers parade. And Louis is
always ready to go like bObsed a hill.
Naturally, Jacobs skins his gravy off the top. SO it
looks everybody would be richer than whipped
Mike owes it all to Tex Rcard
TTNEX the first 70 discover that Americans worth
stng>down than standing up. the first
charge so CLANS for worth Of lumber that wasn't
curred with the grain
Tex also the first TO discover a ringside seat
anything within territorial limits far away
from the ring Chicago that wrote duel with
that distance would be cowardly.
The big money actually started by Jack KearnS'
swollen demands for Dempseys fight with Carpenter He
kept hypng the ransom until Tex had to jack the tariff
Yet if memory doesn't sutte they barred the
scuffle at Soldiers Field.
DROBABLY the most famous barring Of pugism the
time Kid Mccoy plastered sanctions Jim Corbett in
1898 The Kid fighting Tom Sharky. When Tom knocked
the Kid colder than diplomatic smile, venerable old
walked Mccoy and laid his whskers the Kids
chest for memorial wreath The old Corbett in
disguise.
Which has nothing to do with the fight next
Mike Jacobs promoter who bars nobody who has
the price of admission.
I'm glad that Conn and Louis will collect reparaions
for their interrupted I'll be there with my hair
tight bun This is class reunion must attend.
And who do think is going to win? Well you go
wrong by always betting jacobs.
Detroit evening times., 1945-11-15
JaPs Signed Peace
ON GObs' Mess Table

In the distinguished gather
ing were Representatives J.
Buell. Snyder OF Pennsylvania,
Albert j. Engel of Michigan,
Joe Hendricks of Florida,
George II. Mahon Of Texas and
Harye Iibbott of Pennsylvania.
/ give all the names so as not
to put the finger directly on the
artistic Mr.. Malaprop.
They saw many sights in their
travels and when they got to
Versailles they were taken to
the old palace. A guide showed
them the various objets dart
(French for anything that costs
more than il should) and finally
pointed to a huge painting.
MANY OF us think this is the
finest picture In the palace"
he said.
What Is IL supposed TO be-"
asked one of the congressman
the gentleman will not iden-
tfy specifically.
at is Louis Nv crossing the
Rhine"
"Oh," said the congressman.
"In the last war;"
/ ATER, the same group got TO
~ RUNNING, China, where
they were entertained royalty.
They remained three days as
the guest or Mai. Gen. Henry
Aurand, commander OF the area.
AT departure. Representative
Snyder was elected to express
the appreciation of the casnit-
tee. Mr.. Snyder spoke glowingly
OF the hospitality; said they had
been made TO feel right at home.
and would never forget the city
nor its people as long as they
lived.
IL would also like 10 extend
our thanks to General Aurand,"
he said. "As you all know he In
In command of-of-what Is the
name Of this place ?"
copyrTht. ie45. by Kins Features
Detroit evening times., 1945-11-15
BRIGHTER
SIDE

I WAS in a hospital recently
= for a sort of a checkup,
which reminds me of A medical
friend of mine in Hollywood
who has the biggest checkup
business in all Southern Cali
fornia.
The hospitals out there. as
everywhere else, are always
pressed for space for patients.
especially private rooms. My
friends clientele is strictly the
private room type and he had
10 devise some method of hold
ING at least one or two private
rooms in reserve at all times
lest some of his patients die of
modification over having TO lie
III in wards.
He keeps a let of movie pro-
ducerS, directors. executives and
even a few actors. and when one
y Sothk+C { fIvate roeff5 pdtiE1'" "t'n
has been really MtkAy q
discharge, he calls 1p some lvi-
low on the list and says:
Henry, I have been thinking
Of YOU lately, and 1 wish you
would pop into Gates Ajar Hos
pital tomorrow morning for n
cheCkup. i have a room there
for YOU"
Naturally Henry hustles for
the hospital so fast you can
scarcely see him for heel dust,
because the chances are he is a
hypOChondriac to begin with,
and in any event the checkup is
always de rigeur in Hollywood.
II gives a man something to
talk about when he goes out
socially.
HENRY takes with him an
IL assortment of silk robes
and silk pajamas and slippers
and other gear. Just in case any
of the nurses are attractive
enough TO warrant a display of
this nature. and he crawls into
the hospital hay still warm
from the body heat of the last
patient ~.
lie docs not know IL but he
is there Just as a holder. He
does not know my friend s
using him TO keep the room
against the coming of patient
of greater illness or Importance
and especially Importance
than Henry. My friend drops
Detroit evening times., 1945-11-15
By GEORGE DIXON,

The mess tables all look alike
and no one has been able TO
determine which served for the
signing of the most important
document in the history of hu-
man conflict!
COMETIMES il seems to me
~ that our congressman are a
mite lacking in artistic knowl-
edge and appreciation. i know
this sounds harsh, but / am in
a harsh mood today. having
just learned that i will not be
allowed TO swill tea with Mrs.
Robert Low Bacon.
The reason l cannot crash the
tea given by Mrs. Bacon, one of
our most formidable doors OF
good works, is that l did not
sell 10 tickets to the United
Nations forum. There was a
piece in the papers that only
persons who had sold 10 tickets
or more would be invited TO
guZzle tea on the cuff with the
lady.
1 do not think this is fair,
because l was under an al
most insurmountable handicap.
Among all my friends there are
not 10, or even five. who would
pay dough to attend a United
Nations forum, or even show
up if they were paid time and
a half for the chore.
/ tried to induce MIR. Larry
Smith, the petroleum magnate,
10 buy a ticket but he took a
wrong slant on the thing.
mot me-" he said. do YOU
think ! want TO have Mrs. Rob-
ert Low Bacon pouring raw tea
down my throat?"
pUT / started 10 tell you
- about our congressman and
their apparent paucity of artis-
tic background. A group OF
them, members of the House
subcommittee on war depart
ment appropriations. have Just
returned from Europe.
Detroit evening times., 1945-11-15
BROADWAY
, RHYTHM
Ballad for G.. S.

I can recall the simmer Of a
night
When VoU had caught the
starlight IN pour eyes.
When ait the husky things you
said Uere right,
When there Uus time for rs
10 be uHDise
cur r,cuH your laughter doWn
the street
The 0ay, delicious promise IN
your poics,
When boredom U1s IN full and
mad retreat,
And Wc could make but one
eHraptuyed choice.
You hare not changed, your
loneliness has fiowered,
Your laughter still "a like a
silver bell.
And Foes and Fate can nsVsr
iedue us cowered
~ We reliUs the Time Uhen
all lras yell -.
When no Inns held az strange
and street. a pine
As your mouth made Uhen Il
Uds held 10 mine!
Don VAIN
Detroit evening times., 1945-11-15
80 West.
Young Man

UGH. 1t makes me as wide
awake as a sentinel.
1 don't want to make light of
any past president, but IL Mr..
Coolidge, In that hat, didn't look
like a prune wearing two setting
hens, I'll quit.
As for President HooUer-
weH, ! shudder so that can
scarcely hit the typewriter
keys When I think of that COM
bination of his collar and that
head dress. UGH! UGH!
In fact, another UGH!
DRESIDENT TRUMAN has
\ yet to be photographed in a
feather headdress, but he will,
just as sure as Chang Kai-shek
is a Chinaman, Molotov is a
Russian and Byrnes is a-burning.
President Truman's photo
graph in the feathered hat
stands "a good chance of being
the worst of all, because the
President. being piano player.
will undoubtedly be photo
graphed at the piano. playing
the Indian Love Call" l will
give you Is to l now that Mrs.
Truman, when she sees the
prints, will saying something
like this:
Harry, did you have TO do
that: Can't you carry Montana
and Oklahoma without such
foolishness
Distributed BY MeNausht Syndicate. Inc.
Detroit evening times., 1945-11-15
WASHINGTON.
SCENE

WHAT would indisputably
w have become one of Amer
ica's most cherished relics has
been irretrievably lost under abb
solutely fantastic circumstances.
] have the facts from Mr.. Jack
Lait, celebrated editor of the
New York Mirror. He has
hecked them thoroughly
Dthrough his staff correspondents
who were present, and double
checked with naval authorities.
Weird as the circumstances
may sound. they are true in
every detail.
Before the historic Jap sur
render aboard the u. S. S. Mis-
souri,. the British government
sent priceless carved table,
many centuries old, 10 the bat
tleship. to be used in the signing
ceremonies.
At almost the last minute,
however, il was discovered the
table was too small TO hold the
huge surrender documents. So
one of those big folding tables
was Communicated from the en-
listed mems mess.
To disguise the fact IL was
only an ordinary mess table, a
green baize cloth was thrown
over II. The ceremonies of sign
ing then took place.
At chow that evening, the en-
listed men found themselves a
table short. One of them sup
piled the answer:
IL saw II topside with n green
cloth thrown over It," he said.
"a couple OF you 20 up and get
It."
The table was brought down.
The men had chow. and then
the surrender table, like all the
others, was folded up and
showed off 10 one side.
There has been the devil 10
pay ever since with Capt.
Stuart S. Murray, skipper of
the Missouri threatening 20
make the culprit walk the
plank If he can find him.
Detroit evening times., 1945-11-15
LAUGHS--THAT'S
WHAT WE NEED

IF I were a young man wor-
L ried about my dentures, /
would this very day put my
rucksack on my back. ask the
first person l met which way
West, was, and head that way.
Cause, doggone IL, folks,
there's business OUT there
that has been overlooked.
Way out there in the West.
Uhere seldom Is heard buf-
faio talking, Where the sky Is
foil of last roundups, where
you couldn't hear a discour-
aging word If you waiked up
TO man and told him his
house had just burned doWn,
Where the currency 10 Buffalo
Bills, and Where IL you don't
have front yard bigger than
the state Of Maine you com
plain Of being fenced in, there
is a chance for a young, ener-
getie, hustling, so-settTn--dnd
therefore, boring-young man
TO make a fortune.
I'LL tip my hand, podner, by
L asking a question:
Who controls, owns and op-
crates the business or busi-
nesses which make those peace
pipes and feathered head
dresses which the Indians give
the presidents of the United
States, and lesser government
dignitaries? a? This has long inter-
ested me. and was again brought
10 my attention when President
Detroit evening times., 1945-11-15
By HENRY McLEMORE

Truman was given a peace pipe
by one of those delightful far
western Indian chieftains.
/ can't remember his name,
but I'll name six or seven of the
best known of them. and the
donor is sure to be among them.
Chief Sitting Ant Eater. Chief
Squatting Ant Eater, Chief
Stretched Out Ant Eater Chief
Bosun's Mate. Chief Red But
terf1y. With the Burned-Out Tail
Light, Chief He Gets a Ticket
for Having a Burned-Out Tail
Light, Chief Rain in the Face.
Chief Hurricane in the Puss,
Chief Monsoon in the Map,
Chiep of Police, Chief Quit Call
ing Me Chief and Give Me Back
My Oil Wells.
IF l were a young man 1
l. would got out there and get a
job as publicity agent for the
Indians, or for whoever gives
those pipes and feather. hats
away.
The first thing I would do,
after getting secretary and
settling down in teepee, would
he to stop any photographs be-
ing taken of presidents In those
feathered hats. Though many
years have passed, all I have to
do now when / get sleepy and
want to stay awake, IL 10 re-
member how President Coolidge
looked i'm that feather fedora.
Detroit evening times., 1945-11-15
Faces About Town:

THE Duke and Duchess of
Sutherland ringsiding at the
St. Regis Ice Show.
u. S. Senator Warren Mag
nuson in the ST. Moritz foyer.
Lovely Jan Clayton, the Car
rouser star. actually being seen
In public with a critic!
Dame May Whitty. the so
year-old star. whose mute elo-
quence in the last act of
'Therese" at the Biltmore is
something for players TO study.
Julie Hayden of Glass Me-
naGerie," whose book Every
Dog Has His Day" is due soon.
Secretary Of the Treasury Vim
son encountering II. Morgenthau
and saying: you're smart
man. Henry; you got out at the
top"
In Sardi's. Nancy Walker
swapping salutes, VIII e a one
time worlds mosu famous
woman" went unrecognized-
Irene Castle.
Detroit evening times., 1945-11-15
Woods Are Full
of BOssy Relatives
BY ALBERT EDWARD WIGGAM, D. Sc.
Answer TO Question No. 9

Answer to Question No. g
2-Far better. In 1920 among
white persons Is to 20 years
old. four per cent have never
attended school, compared with
two-thirds of one per cent in
1910. In 1920 nearly nine per
cent white males and eight per
cent of females had only four
years of schools. In 1910 this
ratio had dropped to 2 per cent
for men and II for women.
This shows that the decrease in
hliteracy in the L. s. was over
rs per cent in the 20 years.
Answers to Question No. 8
3-No exact studies have been
made Of this. but observation
would indicate that intelligent
people are not as likely 10 be
leaders in conversation as aver
age persons. This is not because
they do not think of more things
10 say, but because they have
the intelligence not to say them.
Detroit evening times., 1945-11-15
No Reans
i'm Boston

cent of money won When he
rides a winner IN a stake race.
SIDELIGHTS-
A PLYMOUTH ROCK hen
"A owned by the Dryden
Farms, Modesto, Cal. laid 335
eggs in 357 days. Is there a
Rhode Island red hen that can
top this record?
Add members M. N. I. A. 2.
Club: Phyllis Gillis, Alderwood
Manor, Wash.
Subscriber says he has lived
in Boston, Mass, for the past
three years and has yet TO see
Boston baked beans listed on n
restaurant menu card. / can't
understand this. In days gone
by Boston baked beans and
brown bread was listed on
practically all the restaurant
menu cards in Boston every
Saturday night. I never ex-
pected to see the day when
Bostonians became tired Of
baked beans.
IN THE Netherlands the cur
Il rency has been changed. Citi-
zens have TO exchange their old
money for the new currency, as
on a stated date the former will
be worthless. This situation has
the Netherlands black market
racketeers in a terrible state Of
mind. When a man appears at
the bank with a huge sum Of
currency TO be exchanged he is
questioned as TO where he got il,
and must be very specific when
answering. incidentally. there
appears to be much black mar
ket money now being unloaded
in New York City. Those in
possession of this ill-gotten cur
rency make huge cash pur-
chases. For example, it is not
unusual for mink coats worth
$1,000 to be paid for in cash.
copyriRht. 1a45. by King Features
Detroit evening times., 1945-11-15
BY DAMON RUNYON-

around about noon and takes
his blood pressure and is as
suming a serious expression be-
fore telling Henry that it looks
bad when the phone rings.
Doctor" the office down.
stairs advises him, "Mrs. Farrell
has just arrived"
Henry" my friend says, as
he hangs up. you are 100 per
ment okay just As 1 thought.
You can get out of that bed
right now and go home, and
consider yourself checked up to-
who-laid-the-rail."
But, doctor" Henry says,
"don't you think"
Henry" my friend says.
Detroit evening times., 1945-11-15
Hospital Room
Problem Solved

"please get up. I will help you
put on your clothes. I need the
room for Mrs. Farrell"
"You mean the wife Of -"
Henry begins.
"Yes," says my friend. sAh,
here she Is now! Henry, you
will have to dress out In the
hall"
OF COURSE, l do not believe
" the story that my friend
had three of these holders
dressing out in the hall at the
same time, but there is no doubt
that his check-up turnover is
very rapid and very large.
Copyright. is45. By King Features
Detroit evening times., 1945-11-15
PASSING BY

NiNcENTE MiNEELf. Holly
v Woodian. Judy Carland's Sec
ond husband. The MineiGs spent
their honeymoon in Nomination
in a tripler penthouse overlook
ing the east river near Sutton
place. is reported they had
wonderful three months honey
moon Without a cross word be-
tUsen them except the night Mr..
Mineih forgot to hold his Wife's
hand at the Stork Club Whsn
there Wsre photographer pres
ent.
Jan Clayton. Once singer
at Siapsy Marcy Rosenbloom's
Night Club in Hollywood. kow a
featured player in the Theoter
Guild musical show eayouseI.
Ted Atkinson. On his way to
be Ameriea's No. One Jockey.
Before becoming Jockey Ted
wos a shipping clerk in Brooklyn.
In this activity he received a
weekly Wage of $8. At Santa
Anita next Winter he will earn
about 81 500 a veek plus 10 per
Detroit evening times., 1945-11-15
BY E. V. DURLING'

Green wood, Miss; Shirley,
Mass, Temple, Tex?
Q,-In what states can a man
of Is marry without parental
consent?
A-Ah, figuring on an elOpe-
ment are You: Well, why not?
III a man Of l8 Is old enough to
be taken into the u. =. army 20
fight for his country he GER
tainly should he capable Of de-
Gliding whether a nice little girl
Is the right little girl for him.
However. In only four states IL
a man of l8 considered To have
enough sense and Judgment to
marry without the permission
Of his papa and mama. They
are Idaho, Michigan, North
Carolina and South Carolina. In
all other states the bridegroom
who marries without parental
consent must be 81.
Detroit evening times., 1945-11-15
SaIIieS
i'm Dur Alley

Room) blonde waitress. they in
sist, is the daughter Of a real
countess.
Jimmy Ryan's benefit for that
brave cop tkilled by bandits)
brought $1,000 10 his family.
Midtown Lexington avenue,
they tell you. is getting unsafe
for unescorted males after dark.
Its boy for the Ed lCBS)
Murrows in London.
The Big-Time:
s1J,HE LOST WEEK END, an
l. intoxicating epic, with
fiawless acting by Ray Milland.
Jane Wyman and the others-a
Paramount click.
Jeanne Burns at the Monkey
Bar.
The dancing of Kim and
ksthy Gaynes in The Girl
from Nantucket.
"Tubby, the Tuba" Ga Cosmo
recordlng), "A grand novelty. It's
the tragic tale OF a tuba. un-
happy because the other instru-
ments make fun Of him as all
he can do is 60 oompah-oompah.
There's a valet at the Sherry
Netherland Hotel who was
once an Olympic track champ.
Each ayem he PAGES three miles
around the park and used TO be
accompanied by his dog The
dog is now 10 years old and
is winded. II now sits on a
bench and waits for him.
Since Music Corp. of America
signed up Mayor LaGuardia for
a radio spot, wags say: Looks
like you have 10 break in your
act at City Han before MICA
is interested"
There'll be mucho confusion
at three 42nd Street theaters
soon when the marques will
advertise: "A Duel in the Sun"
"A Walk in the Sun and
Blood on the Sun"
Sounds In the Night:
AT REUBENS: Shes glad.
"A the war is over. Now she
can get parts for her face"
At Endure: Hes an me-
mediocre comic"
At Villepique's: "She thinks
she has a corner on his love
when she merely has one of the
points Of a triangle"
In the Dixie lobby: do you
think Mark Twain will ever
become another Bennett Cerf?"
Copyright. ie45. By Kins Features
Detroit evening times., 1945-11-15

QUERIES from clients: O.
W My somewhat curious hobby
is assembling place names so
that combined they make the
name of a celebrity. Examples:
Charlie, Tex, McCart y,
Alaska; Morton, Wyo.; Downey,
Ia. Can you suggest any similar
combinations?
Allow about Hope, Ark,
Williams, Ariz.; Charlotte, ". c.,
Detroit evening times., 1945-11-15
By WALTER WINCHELL
Sallies In Our Alley:

sailles In our AlIey:
COME midtowners were plan
~ ming testimonial dinner for
a Snowman and wondered who TO
get for POSTMASTER. "If we cant
get Jimmy Walker" one said,
"how about Nick Kenny 2"
what" exclaimed another.
And have all the iptroductions
In rhyme 2"
Carlton Fredericks says: $50
far this season the only show
shoppers have been the review
ers"'
OZZie Nelson knows some ac-
tors in a new Broadway show
who fell asleep watching critic
George Jean Nathan!
Detroit evening times., 1945-11-15

marriage had been her mother
in-law's life - full Of medicine
cupboafds and emulsions." Her
sisters-in-law dominated her,
too-she just lived their lives,
not hers. How many dominating
relatives spend their lives max
ing other people live their lives.
The woods is full of EN-"
Detroit evening times., 1945-11-15
Memos OF a Midnighter:

E1F"H VI n
EUY LOMBARDO ked
~ away with a c leve an d
newspaper poll 1as the nations
outstanding dance band) for the
umpteenth time.
Aye Lukit is said TO be a new
pet in model circles. She refuses
10 work for the agencies-has
her private phone. gets all her
own jobs, averages $500 weekly,
and get her monicker!
DioSa Costello's act Is still
champ in her field. She's pack
ing the Havana-Madrid.
A Victoria Hotel (Candlelight
Detroit evening times., 1945-11-15
Answer to Question No. I

Yes. This is brought out in a
fine story by r. A. Dick. Mrs.
Muir, now widow, had married
happily. but she had a (domi-
nating) mother-in-law and two
strong-minded sisters in law.
Her life from the day OF her
Detroit evening times., 1945-11-15
Midtown Vignette:

hiutOWu tlkHct0s
CHE has special job in a
~ swank dinner place-study-
ing the patrons the proprietor
wants 10 see in his place often.
II she approves their looks" she
learns their names and ad-
dresses, and they go on the
spots mailing list, etc.
Last night she was depressed.
The boss asked her: whats
on your mlnd--your feller 2"
EYES," she said. I'VE had
fight. told him TO romance
everything in skirts in the u. s.
and then come back tn me"
is that why you're un-
happy" she was asked
"No." she replied, ITS this:
After I told him that. I phoned
the ~. Y. Mirror and asked
them how many girls there are
In the L. s. A."
And how many are there ?"
asked the boss.
"67,670,S02!" she sighed.
Detroit evening times., 1945-11-15
PERSONALITY
=ths priceless rift

Because OF the srest interest readers
OF LET'S EXPLORE YOUR MIND have
indicated IN this subject, there is now
availsble q supply of the famous book
let. How 70 Develop Your Personality,
BY Sadie Myers Shellow. Pm. d send
loc 10 apply on costs and stamped
Wifgam. Let's Explore Your Mind, co
Tie Detroit Times. Detroit 81. Mich.
Detroit evening times., 1945-11-15

DEFORE me l have a pro-
- gram of the Saturday night
fights held at the Sencio Me-
mortal Boxing Stadium, Leyte.
Philippine Islands. A U. S. army
sergeant sent it to me. He says
there appears to be some very
promising ring material among
the Filipinos and that a smart
fight manager might dig up an
other Ceferino Garcia or speedy
Dado on the island Of Leyte.
Listed as the main event on the
program aforementioned is the
following: Gene Espinosa VS..
Paramount Beauty Shoppe."
Well, sir. l thought this was
a typographical error. However,
reading further | saw that the
name of the fighter really is
Paramount Beauty Shoppe. I
am writing to the sergeant for
an explanation of this quaint
name for a rlngman.
Detroit evening times., 1945-11-15

Copyright. is4S. John '. Dill, Ca
Detroit evening times., 1945-11-15
LIFE WITH SALT
On THE SIDE

NV IoVe she's but a Iossie yet,
She's neither proud nor sduey
yet,
But just a linking
Bonny blinking
Heity-sksity lassie yet.
So it scarce WouId do
To sit and Woo
Down by the stream so CLASSY
yet
But there's a braW time coming
yet,
When We may gang grooming
yet.
James HoRR.