The Hardin tribune-herald. [volume] (Hardin, Mont.) 1925-1973, 1945-05-10
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HENRY L OUT

Henry Ford is leaping out of the
airplane after the war, with or with
out a parachute.
He wants no part of winged Mer-
curry in the postwar world, and will
turn him in for good old Lizzie.
The great Willow Run factory
that is turning one bomber out ev-
cry hour will get back to earth and
spawn flivvers at the first OppOr-
tunity, Henry announces. He expects
to sell a million cars a year, and he
sees longer lines in front of the Ford
salesrooms than there are in front
of "Oklahoma!"
AS Hank sees it, the people are
craving to leap from battles to rat
ties. They are yearning for the time
when the word collective will
again mean a hotdog stand at the
seaside, when a s~pearhead will be
just a point in a traffic jam, and
when all communicates will read:
we made broad advances on all
approaches to the bathing beach this
morning"
Ford has been a miracle man in
the bomber business. but his heart
belongs to Lizzie.
His one desire is to get back to a
vehicle that drops nothing bigger
than a nut. ruins nothing but an
enemy fender and has but one tar
get: life. liberty and the pursuit of
detourS.
Hen was happy watching
those bombers roll off his production
lines. They lacked the family touch,
the defective headlight and the OPP
tional upholstery. He was a detected
figure as he looked at a Ford prod
uct which allowed for no back-seat
driving, no loose door handles and
no complaints about the windshield
wiper.
Henry pioneered the auto in order
to give man more pleasure, wider
travel and an opportunity for nerv-
Gus breakdowns over a greater
eXpanse Of territory. He never
thought any vehicle of his would
destroy cities and lick master
races.
He pines for the end of the war
and the return of the day when the
question of the hour will be has
mother packed the lunch for the
trip to Lake Polliwog?" and not
whats the target for tonight?"
And when the only briefing will
be Keep her down to As an hour"
His idea of a great picture is that
of John Smith, Mrs. Smith, the
Smith kids and Rover all jammed
into the touring car. their faces
agleam, their hearts high. with no
hatred for anybody except a motor
SySAS SoP, dllA III oCSllS " MIL
anybody except the inventor of the
red light.
We're with you, Hank. Down with
the bombers! Long live Lizziel
MCGOOFEY'S FIRST READER
Ooh, see the towel!
A.-The towel has seen better
days.
Q.-Yes, it looks more like a floor
mop.
Q.-Where is the towel?
Alt is on the counter in many a
soda fountain, lunch counter or milk
bar.
Q.-What is the towel there for?
A.-To keep the counter clean and
sanitary.
Care you kidding?
A.-No, but the board of health
must be.
Q.-Wh0 is this?
A.-This is John @. Public.
Q.-He looks sick.
Ale is sick.
Q.-What is the matter with him?
Oh, why is he in such condition?
A.-Those soda fountain, milk bar
and lunch room towels have a lot to
do with it.
Q.-Why doesn't he complain?
Ale did.
Q.-What happened?
A.-The attendant asked il he
didn't know there was a war on.
Q.-Who is this?
A.-This is an attendant.
Q.-How a you tell?
A.-By the dirty apron and dirty
towel.
Q.-What is that spot where he Il
washing the glasses?
A.-That Is dirty water.
Q.-Isn't there a health law on
that, too?
A-Au cfop k;dd;ps ,,;lI e,o