The Wilmington morning star., 1945-07-24
Fair Enough

Editors note.-The Star and the News
accept no responsibility for the personal
views of Mr.. Pegler, and often disagree
with them as much as many of his read
ers His articles serve the good purpose
of making people Think
By WEsTBRooK PEGLER
Copyright, 1915, by King Features Syndicate)
NEW YORK. July %. - George Spelvin,
American, has been thinking it over and has
come out of his trance with a suggestion
which he believes to be practical and original
and very patriotic.
Mr.. Spelvin has come to the decision that
it would simplify matters beautifully if the
national government would just collect all his
pay. direct and then remit to him as much
as the treasury thinks he deserves He is
tired of keeping jots on odd pieces of papers
and figuring out the returns at income tax
time and he is always afraid when one of
those envelopes comes from the Collector of
Internal Revenue that he has entered some
numerals in the wrong column and will get
fine of $4,000 and 10 years in prison. or
both, on multiple charges of fraud and per-
jury.
Then, in addition to the time and study
which he puts IN on the original returns, he
has had to go down there with all his books
and papers regularly every year to talk to
the guy who reviews his return for two years
before and who wants to know, on Spelvin's
oath, whether his ancient, bed-ridden grand
father whom he supports, is really incapable
OF self-support by reason of infirnity or is just
stalling and whether this deduction of $500
for the old gentleman's keep isn't actually
gyp, depriving some deserving Armenian or
Chinaman of his pint of milk a day or some
continental communist refugee Of a deserved
raise in pay from the owl.
Mr.. Spelvn is tired and licked and he fig
ures that it is already conceded that his pay
belongs first to old Sam and that he is en-
titled to only as much as Sam wants him to
have. He can't pay his rent, he can't pay
the doctor or the grocery bill he can't buy
anything for his ever-loving War Department
or a slab of gin for Saturday night until he
has first paid Old Sam his share, and any
time he wants to take it ALL all Sam has
to do is hoist the tax rates up to 100 per-
cent and help himself.
The law lays it down that George Spelvin
doesn't work for himself and his family, but
primarily for Sam and the Roosians and the
English and Eyetalians and the Greeks. Some
years, when Sam is feeling generous. he takes
little less than he takes other years. but
always the principle is there that he is en-
titled to much he wants of George
Spelvin's earnings, up to the total amount,
and George is coming around to the notion
that he would be happier if Sam should take
it all and put him on the dole.
That way, Mr.. Spelvin figures, the govern
ment would save an awful lot of storage space
for old tax returns and Old Sam wouldn't
need all those thousands of people in Wash
ington and scattered all the country to
go picking through the returns looking for a
mislaid nickle. And he figures he would have
more energy to do better work and maybe
earn more money for Sam if he could dive
into the hay at night conk right off to sleep
without having to do any figures or worrying
about where the money is coming from.
Because Sam hasn't been absolutely fair in
letting Mr.. Spelvin believes that he gets so
and much a week Just because that is
what they give him at the pay window when
what he really gets is that much minus the
income tax. This being so, George, for years
has overspent unthinkingly really spending
Sans money, and then, at tax time he has
been in the devils own fix scraping up his
owings and it always gives him the Jumps
and costs him lot of sleep.
AS George Spelvn sees it. there is just
one creditor, one obligation, that comes be-
fore Old SAM
where he works.
The church, the family, the life insurance,
the mortgage and all come after Sam takes
his cut, but the union comes before all Of
them because if he doesn't pay the union
then he can't work and if he can't work he
can't make a dollar for Sam anyone else.
Sam recognizes this priority and bows to
it, too. If the union says he is in wrong
for rreverence to the international secretary
treasurer or for paying his income taxes with
money that should go for union dues and
assessments, and runs him off the job for
that why Old Sam just says that is democra-
cy and maybe something about Dumbarton
Oaks and Teheran. So Spelvin gets fired and
earns no more dough and Sam loses his tax
and the Armenans and Cinnamon, the Eng
| lishmen, Eyetalians and the Greeks and the
communist refugees in the Owl may suffer
but there is nothing anybody can do about
it unless you wreck our Wonderful democracy.
The way George figures it now, Sam ought
TO quit fiddling and sparrng arsAnd and get
realistic and take all the law allows which
is all there is, after union dues and let him
work all the time for the state instead of just
three days out of five and feed him and
stable him like good old horse.