Detroit evening times., 1945-10-15
WESTBROOK
PEGLER
Fair
Enough

lnOSe llttle, nRntSOne eullO-
rials about the gradual disap-
pearance of the covered bridge
and the little red schoolhouse,
crows. blue jays and wood
chucks, hog-kilhng time and the
sugar bush and, in season, about
pussy willows, gentian. golden
rod and snow.
My copy is shorter than the
whither-are-we-drifting essays
which have to be profound and
elaborately other-handed or in
conclusive in accordance with
the tradition of liberalism.
My function is TO stir in you
a little feeling of dear nostalgia
most days, if you read down to
me. or. as often as l can, to
turn up the corners of your soul
in a quiet, homely smile.
After they scare you or make
you indignant, am supposed to
quiet you GOWN
FRANKLY, however, I get
pretty sick of it all because
If they would only give me a
hance / could write about
Molotov. Yalta, full employ
ment. reconversion and initiation
with the best of them. / read
all the other editorials all the
time and the butchers paper
Weeklies that cost Is cents and
most of the books arguing this
way and that way, which is
exactly the way the heavy-duty
editorial writer's get their in
formation and opinions.
Many is the time I have
drawn some of them into argu-
ments in the saloon near the
office after work, just to show
that l am smart enough TO
stand them down.
l know all the intellectual
words, too, such as implementa-
ton, dynamism, esoteric and
cartelize which are standard
equipment in the murder de-
partment.
On the other hand, I don't
know any more about covered
bridges. weeds, maple syrup and
snow than anybody else. -
7 HAPPENED to get started
in this speciality way back
there when the publisher had
the idea Of offering S. crack
for little whiplash or shirttail
editorials called "brighteners"
to close up the editorial con-
tent each day.
That was about the summer
that I first saw covered
bridge so I did him one on
that and rang the bell and
thereafter for several months
l made s. or $40 extra almost
every week, rekindling memories
for the world weary.
Then they put me on the
editorial pay roll as a regular
hand with the understanding,
on my part, anyway, that if
l had the stuff they would let
me work my way forward
through the country elections,
then the mayoralties, then up
into such issues as would peace
and what to do about the
atomic bomb.
i sit in on the editorial con-
ference every day where we
hash things over and the edi-
torial director hands out the
assignments.
Three chief editorial writers
have come and gone, one into
the advertising business, one
into the treasury department
as some kind of counsellor on
public relations and another
into the OWL, and, though
there have been some promo
tions-not me.
In 1890 they let me do one
on the World Series in relation
TO international rivalry which
was reprinted in a textbook on
journalism and brought me
S20.S0, including two royalty
checks for $3.50 and S2.20, re-
spectively, spread over II years,
and when Louis knocked out
Schmeling that time 1 let my
self go with something really
big about the fallacy of the
master race and they showed il
up forward just behind the
leading editorial.
But always they have dropped
me back 10 my old spot, where
the animal act would be il this
were an old-time vaudeville
bill.
A COUPLE Of weeks ago /
~ held up my hand as the as
signments were being passed
and said, 1T is a matter Of
tranScendent Importance that
the Palestine question:"
That was as far as I got.
Turning 10 the chief editorial
writer he jabbed finger al him
and said, "You-Palestine." and
then. turning on me. with the
same gesture, "You-the double
breasted gas-bill."
Here l was. walking up and
down Ia stories every day with
the elevator men on strike. and
Bevin calling Molotov a Nazi,
and the whole world is on fire
and l am supposed to write
about a duck.