The Waterbury Democrat., 1945-10-26
SALT WATER TAFFY Happy Navy Day-and Happy
 NaYY Datesll

(Happy Navy Day-and Happy
 Navy Datesl)
 Miniatures of the HOnOred Guests: Sailors flashing Jap currency, short- srorters, etc. Gobs with the most ribbons doing the least talk 1lg and vice versa Lipstick- sneared faces being erased along the Hudson gangways Sailors spending money like sailors {. Gobs (with pad and pencil in paw) holding ''press conferences" with every good-looking doll New Yorker hosts helping them quench q three-year thirst from noon till dawn The Navy never comes to town. It goes to townl
 The Navy has inspired treasury of delightful yarns Among the most famed anecdotal gems is the one about the sailor who was about to become a poppa and wired his captain asking for an extension of his leave The captain replied: while the captain can understand why your presence might be neces- sary ct the laying of the keel, he sees no reason why you should be present at the launchingl"
 Flat-t0up crews are very proud of their ships. A mechanics mate on Q carrier was once asked by a civ- ilian how fast his ship could go .. The m. m. il1toned with a tWnkle n his orb: ITO tell the truth, I don't know. We've never really opened her up. All my car- Tier is required to do so far is to keep up with It's planes"
 During the war, the skipper of a new tanker sent in this report to the ofiicials of shipping company that built his ship: This vessel has recently experienced @ great amount of trouble with the smaller pumps failing to function proper ly. The pumps were found to be in perfect condition, and no rea- son could be found for their fau- tlre until @ pair of ladies' panties were taken from the suction pipe. Tn order that all may cooperate 100 per cent in the war effort and the total destruction of the Axis powers, 1t is respectfully requested that he lady workers keep their pants on during working hours for the duration"
 Then there's the one about the O. CD who asked training recruit to give his definition of strategy, The youngster snapped: "Tts when you're out of ammunition but keep right on firing"
 This has become 0 Navy classic: An ensign and lieutenant on sub- chaser were feuding because they were both Romeoing the same gal, Each took e turn ct making the days entries in the log book. One day the ensign was surprised to discover the lieutenant had written: August IA; ensign drunk" He hesitated 0 moment and then wrote --"Augist IS; lieutenant sober"
 An adnAral, watching 0 young sailor labor eagerly but clumsily on the quarterdeck, asked: How long have you been in the Navy, eon2" 1.-TWO months" the boy replied. ''fIow long have you been inf" The admiral was taken elightiy aback, but he good.natured- " answered.: Thirty years" ]. [. The sailor shook his head sym. pathetically and said: "1t's hell ain't tf"
 There are many tales about naughty ensign getting their come yppance. one of the best concerns the new one who behaved as if he were Q combination of John Paul Jones and Lord Nelson. His captain decided to take him down Q few pegs During Q heavy storm he ordered the ensign to 90 on deck and figure out the ships position by dead reckoning, task winch is practically impossible. Finally the ensign returned and presented the results of his computation. The cap- tain studied the report for a mo. nnent and then beloved: Take off your hat, sirl see by your findings that we are in the middle of Vest minister Abbeyl"
 Chalk up another defeat for cen. sors: A Navy wife was irked by blue pencilers, who continually cut up letters from her sailor.hubby. But she had her revenge. She sent her husband c letter in the form of q jig-saw puzzle. The censor worked for hours piecing 1t together. The Enissive read: Don't work too hardF"
 Have you heard the one about the famed abSent-minded admiral? He was piloting Q seaplane when the commander of the ship noticed he was gliding toward an aerodrome'