The Waterbury Democrat., 1945-08-14
.Othn1on .Spurns
 News
BY FREDERICK c. OTHAfAN

BY FREDERICK c. OTHMAN
 United Press Staff Correspondent
 Washington, Aug. 14-(UP) You can bite your fingernails while wait ing for the capanese surrender note, or get drunk, or write your ration board an insulting note. or go nuts. Or:
 You can join me for a visit with the geniuseS at the patent office, where some of the greatest inven- tions since the atomic bomb are guaranteed to take your mind off the the troubles of the world. Take Thomas Curtis Gray of Washington. who has patented invention num- Der 2,380,837, having to do with mak- ing movies painless
 No matter how bad the picture (Hiya, Hollywood?) you'll enjoy It. or maybe ignore it-in Thomas new world theater. The screen Is on the ceiling, see, and the projection ma chine is in the cellar: there's 8 hole chopped in the floor for the lens to stick through.
 All the seats are like barber chairs. You sit down, stretch out, and relax on the flat of your back. If it's a good rip-snorting picture up above, or maybe has Hedy Lamar in 1t, you can keep your eyes open. II not, take a nap in comfort.
 This invention probably will do more for the movies than all the sweater girls since Lana Turner. So be it. Let us now take up patent 2.381, ,547, designed to make strolling safe on moonless nights. You know how it is now; you're likely to run into a robber who says, your money or your life.
 That's where Floyd F. Leininger of Plant City, Fla, comes in with the automatic, electric chest gun which kills the robber at once and the shakier your knees, the better.
 All you have to do is wear a harness something like shoulder braces. This holds a gun in the middle of your chest with its short muzzle making small bump m your shirt. A wire goes down your pants leg to a push button on your right knee.
 I am not spoofing. (You can get picture of Floyd's invention sim ply by writing the patent oftice.) So the robber comes along, your knees shake, your left knee touches the button on your right knee, the electric impulse travels up the wire and boom! Your shirt has got a hole in it, but so also has the thief.
 When every pedestrian has a Leininger gun under his vest, there Il be no need for cops. That's ob- vious. Then there's the question ot flying machines.
 If such a lingus has one propeller and it stops, you're out of luck. II it's got two propellers, you're lit tie safer, if it has four, you're safer still That's at least, is what Jacob c. Wood of Duke, Ala, decided. He then designed flying machine with two wings, one in the front of the other. That's so there would be plenty of room for propellers.
 Jacob lined both edges of both | WlISS WlUIl pIOpC1lCIO. OObAAoSS 'em; this flying machine has 40 pro- pellers whirling at once and if you don't think that's safe, you simply can't count. Finally there's the AL lied invention of Marcel J. E. Golay of Long Branch, N. J., who dic some thinking about the possibility of enemy airplanes flying over his home town.
 The Go1ay enemy airplane snatcher consists of an elastic moose that stretches mile or SC into the atmosphere and don't you go asking him what keeps it there (You've heard of the Indian rope trick, haven't you?) So there's the golay moose lurking in the sky. The enemy flies into it, hooks onto it and picks up a bright. red light Then he's sunk. You don't need 6 Radar machine to aim a fun at scarlet flare.
 I So much for science in Aug. 15 now go back to worrying about those Japs worrying about their owr troubles. They're benighted heather As I understand it, they don't ever have a patent office in Tokyo.