davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Detroit evening times., 1945-05-28
A zoo depresses me.

4 zoo depresses me.
"A The Gagged animals strike
me as most unhappy, although,
Of course, their emotion is en-
tirely matter of guess work
on my part. I never heard from
the animals themselves on this
point.
/ suppose the various critters
in the zoo at Central Park are
about as well fixed as any in
similar circumstances anywhere
in the world and il may be that
the old residents and those that
were born there and know no
other surroundings are quite
content, though i doubt il.
/ can 60 on and make a ZEAL
big thing out of this, if YOU
like. l mean. ! can draw many
a moral and spiritual lesson
from the plight of the varmints
in the Central Park Zoo. but if
/ did it would be just my luck
TO have an aoudad sheep from
North Africa. with a command
of the English language, come
along and say;
Knots TO you, Runyon. We
are very, very. very happy i'm
the ZOO"
WELL, the city beasts which
w / saw that thought
seemed happy were the zalophus
californianus, or sea lions, and
Shirley the baby camel, born
March 8 last; and if you ask
me. Shirley is too young vet
and too dumb to fully realize
her situation as born jail
bird. She was clumsily gam
boiling under the stoical snoot
of her moth-eaten-l ooking
nanny ELY.
a crowd of children with
their maws and paws were eye-
ing ELY with what l suppose
more nature loving reporter
would call delight, but which I
am sure in many cases was
with distaste.
My confidence in the artistic
discernment of childhood is
such that / do not believe all
those kids found visual pleasure
in that ungainly camel pup or
colt or whatever camel infants
are termed, though one little
girl said TO me:
The FIRST time I saw Shirley
she couldn't stand up on her
legs"
But the child did not put any
great JOY into the remark. It
was simply statement of fact.
/ HAVE a feeling that sea
L lions belong on the seal rocks
of San Francisco, not in the
shadow of the Pierre. l mean.
feel that certain things be-
long in certain places. The
Saddest animal I saw in the
ZOO. not barring the polar bear
--tramping restlesSly back and
forth in their cages, nosing the
bars and needing a good dry
cleanlng--was a poor CO. -ote.
Detroit evening times., 1945-05-28
On
Broadway

about the things they should be
doing.
Edmond RoStand: A kiss is a
secret told to the mouth instead
OF the ear.
Anon: (On radios excellent
reportage on FDR's funeraD:
Their voices were edged in
mourning.
Isabelle Knebei. a cocktail
party consists of a small room,
with more people than IT can
hold. blowing smoke into each
others faces and holding empty
glasses in their hands.
COUNDS in the Night: In the
~ Stork Club-'I may not
always be right, but l am never
wrong"
In the Endure: THE Nazi
prisoners of war over here prob
ably get pamper-nickel, yak
yak-yak!"
AT Reuben's: His names a
household work-like garbage"
At the 1928: He likes big
woids. He's a sky-writer."
In lie Ruban Bleu: who's the
Dolly with Duly"
At Havana-Madrid: Buy a
bond and buy a dream. Keep
your bon d-and make your
dream come true"
At Topsy's: That mag's edi-
tor might be accused of un-
scoopulouS methods
In Lindy,s: That's not pink
slip she's wearing. It's a white
one-blushing. "
Detroit evening times., 1945-05-28
MY HUSBAND Is In the ma

MY HUSBAND Is In the ma
I'I rines. Are my children and
myself entitled TO medical care
as are the wives and children
OF navy men?
Apply to the nearest navy
installation 10 obtain authorize
tion for medical care from a
navy medical officer. Be pre-
pared TO submit proof of rela-
tionship 10 the serviceman.
o. have one son In the
army from whom I now receive
a family allowance Of S37 per
month. I have another son from
whom I receive a Glass T. allot-
ment Of $50 per month. i earn
about $40 per month, bat the
total income altogether IN insult
f1cient for my care. Would IL
be possible for the other son TO
discontinue his Class T. ailOt-
ment and apply for a family al
lowance of $S7 too
Aft you furnish suffi-
eient evidence that you are de-
pendant upon your other son for
at least substantial support, and
he consents 10 pay deduction
of so per month. you may be
eligible. II would be necessary
for the army office of depend
ency benefits 10 determine your
exact status on the merits of
your individual case. The near
est Red Cross chapter has ap-
plication forms for the family
allowance application.
o. am an orphan -ef de-
Detroit evening times., 1945-05-28

VOU remember, Of course.
Il how uproariouS the press
sessions with F. y. r. often
used TO be. When al top form.
Mr.. Roosevelt frequently kept
the newspapermen in stitches
with his fast Sallies. like the
time he murInured with craven
faced innocence:
I'VE RoOs like to
travelw
Most of us thought those days
OF hilarity were over when Mr..
Truman moved in. The Mis-
sourian had little reputation for
fast comedy. But we learned,
al the cabinet shuffling session.
that he can throw a hot one as
good as Fred Allen.
A reporter reminded him of
his statement, couple of weeks
ago, that he had information
which convinced him Hitler was
really dead. The scribe asked
if he would now care TO reveal
the nature and source of the in
formation.
Certainly, said the President,
his face absolutely deadpan.
Hlmmler had told some one
that Hitler was a very sick man
and had only "a hours to live
and when Himmler said a man
had only "a hours TO live IT
usually worked out that way.
GONE ONE asked the Presi-
y dent IT he had requested
Francis Biddles resignation as
attorney general The Presi-
dent responded, blandly, that
he didn't have to-that the
resignation of every one in the
government who could resign
had been on his desk from the
day he took office
MIR. CHARLES ROSS, the dis
A'l tinguished newspaperman,
who has taken over As the
Presidents secretary, revealed
that the Chrisman High School
in Independence, Mo, had dedi-
Gated. its l945 yearbook, The
Clean. TO Mr.. and Mrs. Truman,
both of the class Of 1901. y
Some one asked Mr.. Ross If
he hadn't been in that class,
too. He admitted he had.
And" persisted the reporter,
weren't you also editor Of The
Gleam:"
Mr.. Ross confessed the charge,
whereupon the reporter grunted:
"Ha. Putting in a plug for
the old sheet, eh?"
Detroit evening times., 1945-05-28
BETTER HEALTH
By DR.. Herman Bundesen
WE HAVE all heard about
w the JOYS of the barefoot

I'VE HAVE all heard about
w the JOYS of the barefoot
boy
But now that The Warm
weather B. approaching III word
of warning might not be amIS>.
Certain kinds Of worms cntcr
the body through The feet.
One type OF --e-ass-4- ii4Hi may
get into the body is the hook
worm
HookwOrm infcStaiion occurs
usually a> a result OF persons
walking barefoot IN contact with
soil that Is polluted with the
worms
When whruS get into the body
the condition J., called infesta-
ton.
II enough Of these worms are
present IN tho body or II the
persons affected uses a diet
which does not contain enough
proieIns and iron. severe
anemia or lesscning Of the color
ing In the blood viii develop.
If TIE diet is rich in iron
i containing foods and proteinS.
many worms may be present
without ancmia occurring.
Other symptoms OF hookworm
infeStstion are fatigue and nerv-
ousneSS
III one person in a family is
lInd-in be- infested II IS sd-
sable that other members Of
the family be examined by the
doctor 20 determine whether
they also are suffering from
the same condition.
In treating hookworm infeSta-
ton. according 10 DR. Justin
Andrews Of Georgia. drug
called carbon tetrachloride
seems 10 be the most effective
substance.
II Is given TO the patient in
water or milk, or in capsules.
Following the administration
OF this drug the patient takes
a saline or salty laxative.
II seems however. that some
persons are sensitive to this
drug, and as a result. the liver
may be severely damaged by
1t. Also. the drug causes the
Detroit evening times., 1945-05-28
w ASHINCTON Scene
BY George Dixon

lust before President Tru-
~ mans press conference at
which he announced more cabi-
net-moying than you'd see at
furniture exhibition. Mr.. Bill
Simmons. the White House re-
ceptieHfAt. got up and addressed
the press
Ladies and gentlemen" he
said, "the last time you were
assembled here six cigaret butts
were found on the Presidents
carpet. The next lady or gen.
tleman who drops "A butt on the
carpet will be invited TO leave"
| simply cannot understand
Mr.. Simmons. Imagine, in times
like these. disseminating such a
nice, easy way Of Sniping cigaret
butts.
Detroit evening times., 1945-05-28
Brain Game Answers

1T was dedicated Oct. ZS,
1886.
2-(a) is correct.
3-Air Chief Marshal Sir Ar
thur Tedder, second in COM
mand of the Allied forces.
4-The gyrescope.
5-More. Total spent. includ-
ing all former wars up to
1910, was S173, 600, 600. 900.
6-Hwo-thirds majority.
7-Sitiophobia, fear of drinking:
mysophobia, fear of dirt and
germs.
8-The Federal Bureau of In
vestigation.
Detroit evening times., 1945-05-28
RRUEIITEup SunE BY Damon
A>Ae SAAIG Runyon

/ think was the only one
that stopped in front of his cage
to peer at him. i was reflect
ing that he ought to be running
loose back in the open coun-
try near my old home town of
Pueblo, and then the thought
struck me that in that case
he would be constantly dodg-
ing traps, guns, dogs and poison.
so l said to him in the western
dialect of my youth:
"ki-o-tee. you are lucky
bum to be where you are"
Detroit evening times., 1945-05-28

figure and we never agree on
the same things
She always picks out much
older clothes which / don't like.
! always have an argument and
she starts yelling at me.
Is there anything you can
say. 70 try 10 help my mother
Understand a4pp a4pp feelings an
anXlously awaiting your reply.
u. =.
DEAR =
HERE Is my message -te-Ae cur
II r1utfrr- If II Is indeed true
that your dimensions make YOU
look Dldcr than yeuF years,
Detroit evening times., 1945-05-28

ing any thinking. it will likely
make him worse. But II he
does il with the aim of setting
down in black and white just
what his troubles are, how they
affect him. what he thinks are
the causes, how much was his
fault-especially If he will list
the pros and cons in columns
and make balance, trying not
to kid himself-this will help
immensely.
Detroit evening times., 1945-05-28
OUR feminine friends Ger.

0UR feminine friends cer-
" tainly make that word
cute" cover a lot of territory.
For example, an army wife in
describing her husband says:
He is over 6 feet tall. weighs
about 1875 pounds. / can't really
say he is handsome, but he GER
tainly is cute" (Note-Imagine
describing a husky 6-foot u. S.
Army sergeant as being cute"
Seems ridiculous. Yet women
will do that and right after so
doing will look at a feminine
friend and say: Il like your hat.
It's awfully cute")
SENATOR CHANDLER, the
~ new baseball car. may have
some difficulty in putting over
his ruling that no ballplayers
Detroit evening times., 1945-05-28
IL. v. DURLINC

visit race tracks. Lands couldn't
do it. When Larry McPhail was
top man of the Dodgers the
Judge wrote him a letter de-
manding he order the Brooklyn
players TO stay away from race
tracks. McPhail declined TO
issue such an order, saying he
was not going to attempt TO
regulate the private lives OF his
employees. Incidentally. McPhail
told me this at the Santa Anita
race track.
Detroit evening times., 1945-05-28

DASSING BY: Kathryn Kuhn.
L OF the world of fashion.
Designs the costumes for the
Spitainy aff-giri orchestra. Also
for Dinah Shore and Yolanda
of Veloz and Yolanda. ] UNDER
stand that Yolanda usually has
about So different evening
gowns.
julie Styne. of the songwrit-
ing team of Styne and Calm.
He wrote the popular ballad. Il
Walk Alone. Also has put the
celebrated poen.@ "a Soldiers
Prayer" TO music.
HISTORY tells us that in all
II postwar periods feminine
fashions have gone to extremes.
For example, after World War
in 1919 women started wearing
skirts Is inches from the
ground. One historian ventures
the theory that after major
wars there Is always a man
shortage, so women go all out
in their efforts TO attract men.
After long foreign wars the
governments in ancient Athens
Detroit evening times., 1945-05-28
DEAR MARY HAWORTH.

DEAR MARY HAWORTH:
| AM 4 girl IS years old. out
= my mother says / look very
much older ! guess IL Is be-
cause ] am a little fat and tall.
She always wants me 10 dress
older, when all my friends wear
sports clothes.
I belong 10 a club which
eets every Saturday night and
re always tctis me 70 wear
stockings and pumps; also, a
frock which Is very drpS>p
don t-itkc-ttlTy, bcCauSe CEeE4
one else goes ~ sports clothes.
When I 90 10 buy clothes II
is a little hard -hcra1se of my
Detroit evening times., 1945-05-28

pending upon a family allow
anee Of S42 from my brother
who Is overseas. II went 90
work this summer. would my
family allowance continue?
A-Whether you would con-
tinue your entitlement TO the
Detroit evening times., 1945-05-28

nON'T know who the current
~ sweetheart of Sigma Chi is,
but can tell you who is the
sweetheart of the Milwaukee
Sentinel. II is smart-looking.
red-haired Dorothy Parnell, who
has just celebrated her 25th
anniversary as newspaper
woman. Dorothy, who started
her career at II, is the mother
Of two daughters, one of college
COED age She eligible for
membership in the Mothers
Who-Are-Often- -MiStaken-to-Be-
Their Daughters Sister Club.
She is also said TO always have
her own cigarets. This is very
unusual in newspaper woman.
However like all ether news
paper gals. she likes 10 sit on
desks and never has any
matches.
Detroit evening times., 1945-05-28
Connolly Answers

1-b; &c; 3-b; "A; 5Ib;
6-(a) Ethan Allen; (b)
George Washington: (c) Mai.
Andre; (d) Lord CORVALLIS;
(e) Benedict Arnold.
Detroit evening times., 1945-05-28
WEALTHY

A WEALTHY couple had
taken in a little boy of
Swiss parentage at the start Of
the war, His family sent the
youngster on here because of
fear OF b0mbings and ne was
cared for by his foster parents.
The other day the youngstcr
was playing with the offspring
OF the family cook. The cooks
kid asked the other: WAS your
dad "A soldier, and did he have
10 fight in the war;"
NO" answered the little fell
Ter. "My father didn't fight be-
cause We are Swiss, and we are
neutral"
"Yes, I know" replied the
first. "My mothers family are
Swedish, and they are neutral,
too, but which side was your
country neutral fOr?"
QUOTATION Workmanship:
W n. Brandwynne: 1t was a
beautiful SpOOnlight.
r. w Howe: A really busy
person never knows how much
he weighs
Burlnn- -RaSc0o; Clear verbal
inciSionS, cautcrized with wit
Fannie Hurst: A day as gay
as paTasOi.
y Lewis. When a man speaks
he is trying to be logical. When
a woman speaks she is trying TO
be irresistible.
Wm. Mallory: A conference is
a meeting where people talk
Detroit evening times., 1945-05-28
aAsOtINH

0AtOItNt
4 Coupon is-4 sallonh valid through
June al.
A Coupon is-e saIIonS vslio june az
s-e sns &c Uospons-b eailons sscn-
~ ssa CT Cospons--5 gallons each.
tLav requires ststs name ana license
number be written 90 svery coupon
when received.
Css for soldiers-i rsllon . osy 40 20
80 dap Milesre ration record for
apecinc auto must ps presented BY
soldier 70 local board where car IA
FUEL OIL
Periods =, .. . and s-Vaiid through
Aug. 81.
SUGAR
Stamp -. Book t-vsiid through
June 2
Stamp 3s. Boob A-vslid through
Aug. 81
LIQUOR
eatiea Beoh .. No. 7-vsiid through
May 81 quart Of whisky.
Ration Boos q, No. N-vslid through
May 81, for BoNUS 1 quart OF. gin
Detroit evening times., 1945-05-28
YOUR SUCCESS IN
MARRIAGE TESTS

Ars yOu . good risk a. q marriage
partner
Can yoa Be- happy with the PARTNER
o. your chclce7
What are the signs that foretei the
success % any marriage?
Two Of Americas outstanding Scriol-
ogisis spen, years seaTching out this
vital informs ton and now Df Wig
gam has secured n Tor fOU with II
you can score yourself and your part
ner on the important factors ~ mar
rlAEe success
This booklet Viii - sent A. ccst. Toe
and a stamped f3cl self addressed
envelope address Dr. Wiaram. LET's
EXPLORE YOUR MIND. care % The
Detroit Times
Detroit evening times., 1945-05-28

calcium on lime 10 be lost from
the body
TIIS- chain Of events is iniuri-
4 Gus and may in part be pre-
Nenlrd-hA- hA-using a-d4rtt frt.tff IN
siarchcS sugars and calcium,
and low ~ fats. during the time
The treatment with the carbon
tctrachloridc Is being carried
out.
During tho period Of treat
r7ent the patient also must
avoid alcoholic beverages.
In fact the carbon tetrachlo-
ride treatment should not be
used al all for persons who have
used alcoholic beverages over
lonc period of time
Another drug known as tetra-
chlorcthylene may be substi-
tuted for the carbon tetrachlo-
ride However, il is usually not
as effective. although It's use
IS safer II the same precautions
are taken with respect 10 alco-
hOlc beverages
copynsht ie+5. By Klns Features
Detroit evening times., 1945-05-28
XILHEN Norwegian poIice

WHEN Norwegian police
w threw Nazi-pappet Quisling
into the JUG, he raised vigorous
objections. The cops relieved
Afm of a satchel containing
Ahocolate and cognacl
"Give me back my satcheI."
Quisling ranted. II have done
nothing but good for Norway,
and n statesman like trr Siiuutrf
not be placed in an ordinary
cellw
"Don1 worry" soothed one
of his guards. "Nou will soon he
placed In an underground
vault"
Sk any wounded marine
"A marking time in a hospital
IL he wouldn't like TO hear that
Congress took off the stain of
compulsory apology from the
record OF tbs late Mai. Gen.
-Smediey Butter. two-time VIM
ner oil the Congressional Medal,
but loser in ms dcnunciation of
-Mus&e!iRi killing a child
with his speeding auto and
failing 10 halt for first aid. The
state department IN 1888 made
Butler take spanking and
apologize for saying what you
and you and you have said ire-
quenily.
The incident DESERVES TO come
out OF hiding Maybe some con
gresham Will sponsor. "a third
Congressional Medal posthu-
: iie'tiiss to register Il f1UdT- vCT-
dict on Benito.
Detroit evening times., 1945-05-28
On the
Side

and Rome went to the assist
ance of women in the matter OF
attracting men, Women were
advised by government experts
as TO the best ways 10 attract
men. Extreme styles were per-
mitted. And so on.
IS A RE you expecting a childe ?"
II San Diego apartment
house owner coldly asked one or
his tenants, the young wife OF an
officer in the u. S. Navy. The
woman answered in the affirma-
tive. Said the landlord:
"The rule here Is no children.
So YOU will have to move"
So the expectant mother had
to go on a wild search for an
apartment. Her husband could
not help her as he was in the
Pacific fighting Japs at the
Detroit evening times., 1945-05-28

XNHILE the European war was
w in progress 1t was thought
not quite right for women to 90
out all dolied up In evening
clothes. We Day seems to have
changed everything. Now the
girls are appearing at after dark
spots all dolled up.
Why is it so few women look
well in evening clothes? Is it a
matter of the choice of style and
material or does a female have
to be a tall and terrific type TO
look outstanding in an evening
gown?
Detroit evening times., 1945-05-28
Detroit Times Rationing Timetable

Ration Book q, No. s-vslid June !
through June 80 for A one quart OF
whisky or gin.
PRDCEssED FOODs
elge "a throsrs n-s--vand through
Blss S.s thrssrs s-,-vsnd tArousb
Bise T., thresrs x-a-vsnd throuEb
july 81
si.s y, ,hrosrs o-i-vsrd throuED
MEATS, cHEEsE. rAIs
RED thrvsss ps-vslo through
Red "a ,hrourh J-s-vsno through
neg a. "a Ar..,. r-,-v.no through
Red GA throurh U-,--vsne through
one ID. salvage fat rood for q cents
and two ration points
sHOIS
Airplsne stamps 4. 4 and 1-vhiid In
definitely Loose ttamps not accepted,
Landlords must register all TENANCY
CHANGES and all rented SPACE for
livinF or sleeping.
Detroit evening times., 1945-05-28

amount of bile pigment in the
blood 10 increase which causes
calcium or lime 10 be lost from
the body.
Detroit evening times., 1945-05-28

Don't worry" soothed one
oil ms guards. "iou will soon be
y lace d In an underground
vault"
Detroit evening times., 1945-05-28

QUOTATION Workmanship:
W n. Brandwynne: 1t was
Ln.ATITil1 cnnnnI Iinhi
The Waterbury Democrat., 1945-09-04
WaterOilLe Couple M Peculiar Mishap
 Auto PIunsss Into so-FOOt Crater Made By Broken WoteF Main; Police Effect Rescue

A 24-inch water main, just below the Hancock Brook, on Huntingdon avenue in Waterville, burst early yesterday morning, leaving e gap- ing 30 foot hole in the paved high way, and two persons, driving along the highway were injured when their vehicle plunged into the huge crater,
 The couple, MT. and Mrs, Joseph Benoit, S7 Chapel street, Water ville were removed to st. Mary's hospital in the police ambulance, Mrs. Benoit suffered from Q possi- ble fractured hip and lacerationS of the head while her husband re- ceived multiple laeerations of the wrist, ahrasions of the face and Q severed tendon of the middle finger. Both were reported to be In good condition today,
 Starts Inquiry
 Seeing water flowing down Hunt ingdon avenue to ThomaSton avenue shortly before 9 o'clock, Motor Patrolman Walter Senich, on duty la that section of the city, investi- gated and aS he was determing the cause of the flood he heard Q crash further up the highway,
 The officer attempted to climb Into the hole and rescue the couple, but the edge of the crater gave way under his weight and he was un- able to descend into the waShout through which Q torrent of water was flowing,
 Calling police headquarters, Senich then hailed Q passing nlotorist, Ern. est Clano, 8S7 East Main street, who had a tow rope in the car. By this time police aid had arrived and Sgt, Walter Ahern, Detective Paul Moynihan, Motor Patrolman John Deeley, and Patrolman Harold Green lowered senich Into the hole with the two rope.
 Mrs. Benoit, bleeding and shaken was rescued first, then followed her husband and finally Officer Senich. The injured occupants were then rushed to St. Mary's hospital in tho police ambulance.
 VNbSt NtAlV AAGHlSAl SVHlpWEy D, roped of the area and e company from headquarters, commanded by Deputy Chief stephen J. Bloom- field, played battery of portable floodl!ghts on the crater while em- ployes of the water department ex- amined the damage,
 The car plunged headlong Into the crater, resting In the mud with the rear wheels standing out In mid air at preeNrlously frightening co degree angle. The car hung on nn old bridge abutment, which had been covered over about 20 years ago when new bridge had been erected, Now 1t stood there in the center of the gaping ereViee, re- vealed when the force Of the water had washed away the gravel, pave. ment and sand which had covered It. and the car hung on this like 0 lopSided balance on 6 scale.
 Hundreds of gallons of water rushed through the hole, washing tho car and carrying Q huge piece of the broken water main against tho