Evening star., 1945-11-28
This and That
By Charles E. Trace,peU

AcHpieool Jones toid his friend Bill
smith how he got his inf1amed eye.
got 1t from a guy named Henry
James, laughed Jones, who innocently
supposed that Smith knew who he was
talking about A great reader, Tenn
pleton Jones some time ago Joined the
enlarglng group Of Americans who are
redscoVering the works Of the great
writer
Jones simply meant that he had read
so much James that his right, or good"
eye suffered. Perhaps it was a foolish
thing to do. but Jones though it worth
1t. With all the crackpots in the Gov
ernment thinking up new schemes to
taKe your money away from YOU before
you get 1t, Jones thought it lust as
well to buy his James while he could
Ii you are to be forced to have
per cent taken away from YOU eyerv
pay day to be healthy, and also to nav
Tor the health of those who have not
the initiative to take care of them
selves, you may find that book clubs
OF tne future. getting the Governments
ear, Will plump for per cent of vorr
wages in order to be sure that Won read
the right books. which, incidentally
they will publish. There will be no
end to it.
Bill Smith was telling his friend John
Gray about Templeton Jones fight
old Temp got in a fight with some
!eLoW named James. I don't know who
ne is, but from the looks of Tennis
eye the fellow must have been a prize
fighter" - N'e
John Gray was telling his friend Art
Mifhe about it.
asked. ~ ie
The president of the Anti-Sneezinp
Society,"" replied Mifae. That crank !"
John Gray said that Jones was al,
right. that he thought that this society
was doing some good, but he shouldn't
engage In street fights, because he
wasn't very good at it, evidently
You should see the sinner that old
boy has" roared Gray, slapning his
thigh. Regular knock down with a
heavyweight, some fellow by the name
OF James. I understand that this
James weighs about 2l0 pounds and
Is 6 feet 3 inches tall"
old Temp had his nerve to take
MIN on. Somebody told me that Jones
gave a pretty good account of himself
ana almost knocked this fellow James
out for the count"
*<+
Jim Playfellow was the next To snraad
tne story. He said that Henry James
wasn't pug1llst at all, but burglar
VINO had got into the Jones home about
= am; one night and came up the stairs
nnIo Jones bedroom just as old Temp
a,. staiIeo 10 catch a centipede on the
celllng with the vacuum sweeper.
Playfellow said that lust as the
burglar tlptoed through the door after
Jones wallet, old Temp, who hadn't
nearo thing, suddenly snapped on the
ngnt Wltn one hand and with the other
cleaner.
Playfellow said that Jones back was
toward this James, who was a little
runt, and some people said he was black.
Jones looked up, saw a centipede on
the ceiling. and roared, There he isl
Ihere ne isl" The burglar screamed
and cried, Here is, boss, but here
I amt
According to Playfellow, the burglar
slld all the way down the steps and
INTO the glass front door cutting him.
se1f severely, but making good his
escape. AAi'
How did Jones get the two black
eyes, then?" some one asked.
Piay1ellow said that Jones became so
exclteo at all this that he tried To
ca1cn his own eye instead of the
centipede. '-Ae
That wasn't the way heard IT, at
an, grinned Smiley Davis. "Just he
tween us, understand that Mrs Jones
was extracting his pocketbook from his
pants pocket when Jones suddenIv
snapped on the light to look for cent?.
pedes,' a favorite sport of his. Odd
fellow. Well. when the missus saw she
was caught in the act, she hauled off
and socked old Jones right in the eve
: But don't say told you."
AT Jones club that evening IT. vas
widely circulated that the handsome
president OF the Anti-Sneezing Society
mad Just returned from China. where
ne got caught between groups OF Ma
tionalists and Communist forces and
was lucky to get out of it with nothing
worse than bad eye.
what was he doing In China. any,
way?" somebody asked.
He was looking for q man named
Henry James" replied Jim Playfellow.