The Wilmington morning star. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1909-1990, 1945-05-02

accept no responsibility for the, personal
/ views of Mr.. Pegler, and often disagree
ers His articles serve the GOOD purpose
4 of making people Think
BY WESTBROOK PEGLER
Copyright, 1915, by King Features
Syndicate.)
/ SAN FRANCISCO-George Spelvin, Amer
lean, attended the United Nations conference
today and, noting that practically everybody
else had held press conference, decided te
call one for himself. incidentally, Mrs. Spell
vim is here too, but travel was involved
! because the Spelvins live in San Francisco
They live in New York. too, and .Gosport
Ind. The Spelvins live everywhere in the Unit
ed States.
The first question addressed to Mr.. Spelvr
was: "Mr. Spelvin will you tell U.S."
eyes," Spelvin said, and I will tell the
world too, that this peace conference bet.
| ter
interruption from the midst of throng Of
425 shreWd, trained observers: MIR. Spelvin
are you aware that this is not peace con.
ference but a meeting designed to lay plans
to draw Up definite program with view
to formulating realistic and cohesive-'D.
YES Spelvin said. land l am getting
pretty sick and tired of that, too because,
that is just some more of your diplomatic
semitics and"
|
That's what I said,' Mr.. Spelvin replied.
Semitics is where you take a word and use
it out of order so pretty soon it doesn't mean
| the same thing any more. Like, you take
| the word implement and it means harrow
or manure spreader and then yoIr old
| lady gets you hooked to 60 to lecture at
the high school and some study-bum from
the OPA in Washington, why he gets up and
says we have got to implement the regula-
| TONS Or, for instance, take the word eli
mate and that means whether it gets down
below zero in winter or maybe you can grow
bananas in your front yard. But the study
buns from Washington, they say "a very nice
moral climate we are having and people get
| all mixed Up -
| (Another voice, very horn-rimmed and Har-
vardese: perhaps you mean 'semantics,' Mr..
Spelvin because if may presume to correct
you-')
| BY Mr.. Spelvin: well that just goes to
prove how people have been muddled around
by all this striped-pants kind of talk like who
ever heard of protocol. and mandate and
| sanctions and all that doubledome Choctaw
and l try to speak straight Anericanese and
so if this isn't a peace conference then why
are all you tramps cluttering up the rail-
roads and crowding God-fearing taxpayers
out of the saloons so it takes an act of
Congress to get a flop in fea-bag if the
idea isn't something about peace? So, in my
book it is peace conference and never mind
the implements or the moral climate and
whether it is semitics or semantics. desire
to state that my pin-up and I, we raised
two boys, and then those EUropes they start
pushing each other around again and pretty
soon, sure enough, the British and the Rus
slams yell Hey Rube' and now one boy is
in Germany and the other in the Philippines,
and mother, she works in the Red Cross and
we raise victory garden and buy bonds.
We not hollering but here We send all
=! that stuff like bornbers and tanks and canned
goods to Russia and build airports and rail
roads and fresh towns all over the world
with our money and we can't even get a
new dish-pan and now those Frenchrnen are
squaWking that we don't give them guns for
their Army after they went and threw their
own guns down when they quit. But, anyway,
we did give them quite lot of guns figur.
ing, okay Francois, if you get hurt maybe
George Spelvin's boy won't. So then they GO
and squat in Stuttgart and won't bulge be-
cause they are out grabbing the spoils OF
war just like you would think they won ii
! instead of they went right out the window
from slap in the face. And then Eisenhower
said they were lousing up the war so our
people couldn't chase the Germans
i Question: "Mr. Spelvin, we to infer
that you would have preferred withholding
material assistance from that great peace
loving democracy, Soviet Russian"
! Question by Mr.. Spelvin: What paper you
from?'
Il represent the New York Midday
Whats your name?"
| My name is Moriarity.''
| I mean your square name"
That is punch below the belt.''
well, why not?' Mr.. Spelvin demanded.
'You throw plenty of them down there and
I don't blame anybody if they have got a
name nobody can pronounce SO they change
it to Smith, whatever you like. But when
a guy uses two names, and one is for the
communist party and the other for weekdays
then he is trying to be two guys and out
number me but if you call Russia democ-
racy then I am against democracy, hook,
stock and title.
| The Spelvins bust book, too, now and
again. strange as it may seem and we know
who was the peaceloving nation in the case
of Finland and then Lithuania and all them.
And now it's Jugo-Slavia and Poland where
they stick in their communist friends, like
the Nazis, they planted that Henlein in SUI
dentenland and got that Quisling to give them
Norway, and I want to know do the Spelvin
boys go back in a few years and muss up
the Serbians because they don't want COM
munists kicking them around? And do we
ever get square meal a new car and
when the kids come home do they have to
| support the rest Of the World?"
A voice: THANK you Mr.. Spelvin."
-V
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