Detroit evening times., 1945-10-05
WESTBROOK
PECLER
Fair 4
EnouehO

1000 B. {. by Clmek Lectularlus.
the Ephesian fisherman and phil
losopher, who became exasper-
ated because he was constantly
humping into doors in the dark.
For the next 5000 years fur
ther progress was slow. how
ever. and the lantern, burning
a wick dipped in mule marrow.
appears 10 have been the first
dependable artificial iliumina-
tion, although Olium Ricini or
Genoa, the inventor, was pub
licly put TO death by Pedro, the
Paltry, on a charge of heresy
for turning night into day
against divine intent"
Many men and women still
living recall the coal-oil lamp as
novelty and boon. and their
grandparents lived in day
when artificial light was lux
ury of seaboard settlements ex-
clusively in which whale-oil was
obtainable.
Then came the gas light and
presently the Welsbach wick
which would dissolve into ashes
If you so much as looked cock
eyed al il, and. AT last, the elec.
trio light.
DUT even AS recently as Abra-
- ham Lincoln's boyhood only
the well-to-do had even CANDLE
light in their dwellings and a
good thing for Lincoln and lot
of other people, because other
wise he would not have had 10
study his lessons by the light OF
the cabin hearth fire.
But for that. Henry Ford
would have had TO think up
some other name for his big DEF
luxe job and thousands oG
Lincoln warehouse and storage
companies. cleaning and dyeing
companies, and hotels would be
called Ajax or Nonpariel or
Ideal. and hundreds of high
schools would have 10 be called
something else and not Wash
ington, either. because We AL
ready got Washington highs
practically everywhere.
The fatal flaw IN Elliott
RooSevelts story OF the settle
ment of the loan, however. IS
that
Kill preceding sentence start
ing The fatal flaw. etc, type
writer left unattended while I
went 10 the window 10 watch
fire engines did that auto
matically.
4 LSO in our time, American
"A architects hit upon a rather
good idea of making plenty OF
windows ard work WAS easy on
the eyes and people could recog-
nize one another by sight.
Then came the modern dec
orators and an innovation called
decor and as TO what that
means literally your guess is as
good as mine. but you see II in
some Of the rather puCker-
mouthcd magazine features by
specialists in the home beauti-
ful but in a general way 10
means some Of the ugllcSt and
most uncomfortable furniture
since the invention OF the milk
ing stool, and lamp shades like
-huckciS-that-c conceal most OF
the light or throw II in such a
way that YOU practically have
10 lie on the back OF your neck
10 read
And II means heavy draperies
across the windows 10 keep out
the daylight and, as If thos p
-dlm-out ! m p shades weren
bad enough. they designed lamps
like a SiX-foot length OF ordi-
nary gas pipe with a sort Of
bird bath on top so when YOU
turn il on why the light goes
straight up m the air and they
say il Is supposed 10 bounce
back and make indirect lighting,
but they are just a pack of liars
because the light Just makes A
spot on tho ceiling and stays
there.
60. NOW If YOU 90 into some
- bodyS office you almost
have 10 use a phosphorus cane
TO tap your way around and
you are always making enemies
of old friends because you don't
recognize them in the gloom
and the most up-to-date hotel
rooms more like solitary at
AlcatraZ
William Green, the president
Of the American Federation Of
Labor, Of course, is utterly unfit
for kill kill kill Mechanical
error.
There is big chop Suey place
in Washington so dark YOU
--e+A-t- -aXcn- -rcad-thc-m -maau,-se-
mentioned this 90 the fellow
and he said il didn't make any
difference because il is either
chop Suey chow meln. sub gum
or foo young and the idea, he
said. is people like il because If
man comes in with some babe
nobody will be able 10 60 blab
10 his evcr-loving spouse that
he was around town sowing
oats.
WELL, poor Olium Ricini
w needn't have been put away
because if Pedro had had fore
] sight he would have known that
hy 1915 in the ingenious United