The Waterbury Democrat., 1945-01-09
Love Trouble Army Worry
By FREDERICK c. OTHMAN


 United Press Stan COrreSpOndent)
 Washington, Jan. g - (U.P0 - I've just spent the day at the Pen- tagon with the Army's advice-to- the-lovelorn department and I wish you could have been along. You should have seen those poor devils sweat.
 The Army Postal Service handles 40, ,000, GOO letters a week. It gets also 5000 weekly com?Aints about terrible service and my man, lieu tenant colonel who can't be named here because of the rules, must ans wer the kicks. Most of them, he has discovered, concern love; mostly he has to grit his teeth and play cupid.
 There was, for instance, the lady in Kansas who said she hadn't heard from her husband in Italy in months and what was the matter with the Army, anyhow? My man had one of his assistants in Italy interview the soldier, who said the reason his wife hadn't received any mail from him since May 5, l944, was because he hadn't written her. He added that he didn't intend to write her.
 The love-lorn department is won dering at this writing how to tell the MisSus. It ain't easy.
 We have considerable mother-in- law trouble" the Army complaint man said, and great deal of grief caused by guys who get letters from girls and tear 'em up without ans wering. Then We get ladies who send off soldiers to the wars after meet ing em at dance. and address a letter to Private John Doe, six feet, two inches tall. dark brown eyes. curly hair, somewhere in France. We can't deliver such mail, nor can we undertake to give addresses of sol- diers to anyone except members of their immediate families"
 Once in a while the loVe-lorn man receives letter that gives him smile, such as the one from the lady in Minnesota. who wrote that her son in the South Sea Islands was a meticulous young man. He wanted to do his own washing; his mother wondered how she could ship him an electric washing machine.
 Regret military necessity will not permit" began the letter that ans wered her.
 Numerous citizens ask how to pack ice cream for shipment overseas; There's no chance of 1t. One mother wantd to send her son a consign- ment of lard. so he could have some home-fried potatoes. Another thought her son might like a bath ing suit. He was stationed in Green land. which sounded like a pleasant, balmy place to her.
 That's one trouble with people" the loYe-lorn colonel said They don't know much about geography. They seem to think 1t is as easy to get a letter to Karachi as to Du- buque. Actually we're giving better international mall service to soldiers than civilians ever had before the war
 About then an orderly came in with more complaints, including one from wife. who said her dentist husband hadn't received a letter from her in weeks. She enclosed his note which said that If he didn't get some mail in hurry, he intended to corral every mail clerk in North Africa and pull out his teeth. "H-m-m-m-m-m," the colonel said
 One other thing: You've got until the 18th of this month to send yal- entlne greetings abroad. The love lorn department said 1t expected about l0,000.000 hearts flowers missives to go abroad and more than that Lighting men are sentimental ists) to come back.