davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The globe-independent. (Hagerstown, Md.) 1943-19??, 1945-12-06
Funny Stuff?

SAAAAy ASSA
This Joke Will Jar You
"Why can't you sleep?"
"Well, you see, every time I fall
asleep, the jar awakens me-"
Avoid Contrasts
Q - What color is best for a
bride?
A - Matter of taste, Better get
a white one.
Force of Habit
Plumber-(pausing on sidewalk
to ate)-Well, we've remembered
the tools this time, but 'anged if
l amt forgot where we ave to go.
Going Some
Customer - care these eggs
strictly fresh?"
Grocer Ito boy helper) George,
are those eggs cool enough to sell
YETI"
A lovely young lady named Rose,
Forgot to powder her nose;
While crossing the street,
She remembered that feat;
Now she sleeps where the epitaph
grows.
Something Missing
Mrs. Newlywed = Hurry up and
carve the turkey, dear; you know
how to do it now.
Husband - Um-yes; but where
in thunder are the dotted lines?
Realistic
Can you act?" asked the movie
director.
"Act? Why on the stage last week
l died so naturally that a man in
the audience tainted. He was my
life insurance agent"
One Thing At A Time
Gunbusta Did your wife say
anything when you got home at 3
a. m?
Pistols - No, she never talks
when she's in action
All Men Know
Mrs Campbell - Dear, l saw
the sweetest little hat downtown to-
day
Campbell - Put it on and let me
see how you look in it.
Took A Big Chance
DR.. Cutter - So you had to oper-
ate on this patient in a hurry?
DR.. Slicer - Yes, we didn't have
time even to look up his financial
rating!
Smart Boy
Mother (teaching son arithmetic)
Now take the Spinks family.
There is mother, daddy and the
baby. How many does that maker"
Bright Son: 1.-TWO and one to
carry"
Another Bright Boy
What" asked the teacher of one
of her pupils, "do we mean by the
word plural?"
Pupil = BY the plural of word
we mean the same thing, only more
of it.
A Bad Hobby
Judge = You have been arrested
for stealing fifteen times. Can't
you give up stealing?
Accused - 1t is my only hobby,
sir.
Truthful Darky
Judge "You are sure you saw
the man steal that car? Are you
infallible, RaStus?"
Rastus mo, Judge, Use
colored!"
Poor Vision
Magistrate = "You are accused of
stealing a chicken. ANYTHING to
say?"
The globe-independent. (Hagerstown, Md.) 1943-19??, 1945-12-06

Except for its big neighbor, Hag-
The Waterbury Democrat., 1945-09-21

tent critic of army policy, was en- couraged by Marshall's assurances that they are not going to keep non- essential men regardless of the point system and that all two-year men will bet out by next spring"
 Johnson pointed out, however, that the promised release of two- year men was at variance with army testimony last week that the army still will need 900. 1000 men of two or more years service by the end of next June. That was based on the estimate that army strength still will be 2500. 900 men at that time.
 Others were dissatisfied with Mar shall's indication that a decision on the size of occupation force must be postponed for a whle and with his remarks on Gen. Douglas MacAr- thurs action in reducing estimates on the Japanese force to 100000 reg ulars by the end of six months.
 Sen. Styles Bridges, R., N. H.. said 1t was evident they have been er11- barrassed by what MacArthur has done."
The Waterbury Democrat., 1945-09-21

(Continued from Page D
 request for reduction of payments.
 Anthony Woznikaitis who is bringing a divorce action against Blanche Woznikaitis was ordered to pay $50 as an allowance to de- fend the action, $S weekly for the support of a child, and $7 weekly as alimony.
 Change of name petitions were granted as follows: Donald Marion Johnson of Seymour to Dorald John- son Carroll; and Rose Pensky El- lenson of Waterbury and Hartford to Nadine Rose Penn Ellenson.
 Judge Mclaughlin approved a mo- ton in which Catherine Murphy of Waterbury sought to change her complaint against the City of Jew Haven SO that damages of $7,000 rather than $4,000 would be sought. Counsel for the plaintiff claimed her injuries were more extensive than had at first been supposed. The plaintiff was injured when a street cleaner allegedly pushed a basket against her leg seconds after she alighted from a bus in New Haven.
The Waterbury Democrat., 1945-09-21

(Continued from Page 1) yersal. "Koshitu Tempan"- the law of the Imperial family-prohibits abdication of the Emperor for any reason except illness which prevents discharge of the royal responsibili- ties
 "Koshitu Tempan' nevertheless could be revised at Hirohitos re- quest If first approved at a family conference of royal princes and by the privy council. The latter body of IS Is appointed by the Emperor.
 Many informed Japanese believed Hirohito intends to remain on the throne only long enough to cofn- plete his surrender commitments. They believe he holds himself res- ponslble for following militaristic advice from the Tojo clique with fatal results to the Empire.
 If Chichibu's health should pre- vent his assumption of the Prince Regency, the next royal brother In line would be Prince Takamatsu, Al, and after him, Prince Mikasa, 3l.
 The Tokyo newspaper Mainichi said Hirohito himself was in the best of health and devoting almost his entire time to seeing that his country faithfully adheres to the surrender terms and prepares to build a new Japan.
The Waterbury Democrat., 1945-09-21

(Continued from Page D er," she explained. She said she had no inkling in July, l94S that her father was about to be busted as dictator of Italy by the Fascist grand council.
 Edda said she believed Titled was dead because he always said he would kill himself if anything went wrong"
 "IIe told my husband in salzburg In 1889 that he would kill himself if the Nazis failed" she said.
 She said she did not know what Italy would do with her
 "All know was that the Allies said to the Swiss government (where she was interned briefly that I was not @ wa: criminal and that I was in no danger of my life." she said.
 T have no fear now because was not a war criminal. I don't know what 1t means, do you?"
The Waterbury Democrat., 1945-09-21

needlessly the life of a single Amer ican boy"
 One of the Marshall letters was reported still in Dewey's possession. He was asked at his Albany press conference whether he would re- veal the contents.
 Since I received the letter in confidence" Dewey said, T would refer you to Gen. Marshall for the text of it."
 Dewey's friends said that it had been "very difficult" for the gov- ernor to decide not to use his irl- i formation on Pearl Harbor, 1t was some time, they said, before Dewey convinced himself that the Jap anese were foolish enough to con- tinue this code all the way through the war"
 Last Year
 It was learned that Marshall'f letter requesting Dewey to refrain from using information on Pearl Harbor had been received Sept. p l944.
 Brownell said that he concurred in Dewey's decision not to use the Pearl Harbor information in the presidential campaign.
 Tn my opinion" Brownell said Gov. Dewey acted with great patriotism and with a degree Of courage unparalleled in American public life"
The Waterbury Democrat., 1945-09-21
Grandson Takes Over
tNEA Telephoto)
Continued from Page D

(Continued from Page D
 q feel free to take this step at this time" Ford's letter of resigna- ton said, because the critical pe- riod during which I again assumed office has passed. I shall be glad to remain on the board, and to assist in an advisory capacity"
 Then he recommended that the directors consider elevation of Henry Ford II to the presidency. Their action followed.
 But to offset any suggestion that his resignation meant actual retire. ment physically, the elder Ford wrote: "As you know, have many desire to devote most of my time" personal interests to which I now
 Ford Motor company was founded in 1903. Ford had built his first automobile in 1893. Tn the more than 60 years since he completed that original engine, Ford expanded a one . family empire against rugged competition and in bitter battle with Wall street interests.
 Good Training
 The new president was trained for his job by his grandfather in 10 years of constant study of pro- duction and management preced- llres. He first worked in the River Rouge airplane motor plant. Tn 1e41 he entered the Navy as a lieu- tenant junior grade, but was re- leased in 1943 to assist in direction of the war production throughout the huge Ford system.
 Shortly before assuming the pres idency, the younger Ford said We expect to continue making the best car we know how to serve the greatest number of people. That's what I've learned about the bus mess and that is my aim"
The Waterbury Democrat., 1945-09-21

NSOuLAnuCd kEOtH EHbO ~
 5-They shall not mention or dis. cuss Allied troop movements unless these have been officially released.
 6-Stories must be factually written. completely devoid of an ed. itorian opinion.
 7-Stories shall not be colored to conform any editorial line.
 8-Minor details of news story must not be over-emphasized to stress or develop any propaganda line.
 o-No story shall be disturbed through omission Of pertinent facts or details.
 lO-The makeup of e newspaper shall not give prominence to any story for the purposes of establish ing or developing any propaganda line.
 Macarthur formulated his code after suspending the Japanese DomeI agency and two Tokyo newS- papers for varied length of time for coloring news and publishing items which he said tended to disturb public tranquility.
The Waterbury Democrat., 1945-09-21

(Continued from Page D grave near e lonely bride path in Middlebury.
 Oral arguments and written briefs will be presented by counsel to the five justices at the appeal hearing. zukauskas, who is confined at the Wethersfield State Prison, will not appear before the court. The state will be represented by States At- torney William B. Fitzgerald and Assistant States Attorney Walter w. Smyth.
 November
 Court observers estimate that zukauskas will know his fate by the end of November or early in December. The high court usually hands down decisions within six weeks after hearings.
 If the conviction Is upheld a new date for execution of the penalty will have to be set. Statutes re- quire that 30 days must elapse after the final decision before the death penalty can be imposed.
The Waterbury Democrat., 1945-09-21
YOUTH KILLED

Pembroke, Me-, Sept. 2l-(UP)- Julien Cushion, 20, of West Penn broke, who returned home with an army dircharge this week after spending IS months as a war pris- oner in Germany, was killed early today when his automobile went out of control here and overturned in a ditch.
The Waterbury Democrat., 1945-09-21

cers will be cut from the present 100 for top ranks and S5 for lower grades to IS on October 1.
 3.-WAC discharge scores for officers will be cut from A to 39 in October. Enlisted WAC score will drop from 41 to 36 on October 1 and to 34 on November 1.
 4.-Oll men in the United States for whom the Army doesn't have useful employment" will be re- leased in three or four weeks. That was Marshall's answer to coTn- plaints about grass cutting with bayonets, ditch digging, needless repetition of basic training and just plain idlenesS among veterans awaiting discharge.
 Sen. Edwin 0. Johnson, D., Colo, ranking Democrat on the senate military committee and a consis-
The Waterbury Democrat., 1945-09-21

(Contlnued from Page D that the shortages of electrical ap- pliances, building materials, radios, automobiles, and other consumer durable goods will remain acute and dangerous for many months to come"
 Bowles warned that if price con- trol is eliminated too soon because of the demands of what he called a minority of businessmen, the av- craze American citizen is likely to lay the blame for any economic col- lapse that may follow "squarely on the doorstep of all business"
The Waterbury Democrat., 1945-09-21

(Conttnued rom Page D
 employees as wish to continue work ing. We do not intend to permit the company to brush seniority provi- sions aside. If the company desires to retire people 1t must advance other reasons besides an arbitrary age factor and prove the reasons"
The Waterbury Democrat., 1945-09-21

(ContInued from Page D a complete management-labor rift developed in the Kelsey-Hayes Wheel company strike which has forced the Ford Motor company to halt new-car production.
 The Kelsey Hayes strike entered It's 30th day with 4,600 CIO aut O. mobile workers idle and another 50,- 900 forced to lay off in Il Ford plants.
 It was the most serious labor dis- pute among those affecting some 5000 workers ak 70 Detroit plants
The Waterbury Democrat., 1945-09-21

Farmers now have priority in getting new telephones in Eng land.
The Waterbury Democrat., 1945-09-21
Punishment OfJops
PAGE FOUR

tcontInued from Page D
The Waterbury Democrat., 1945-09-21

 Presented

tcontinued from Page D
The Waterbury Democrat., 1945-09-21
.Jop Press
 Punished

Continued from Page l)
The Waterbury Democrat., 1945-09-21
Discharge Criticism

tContinued from Page D
The Waterbury Democrat., 1945-09-21

 Strike

Continued from Page D
The Waterbury Democrat., 1945-09-21
 Against FDR.

tContinued from Page D
The Waterbury Democrat., 1945-09-21
Walter WincheII ON BrO0dW0y
OF A GIRL FRIDAY

TFAas Mark Registered y Copyright, 1884, Diny MlrOs
The Waterbury Democrat., 1945-09-21

(Continued from Page D
The Waterbury Democrat., 1945-09-21
.Zukouskos
 Death PIeo

(Continued from Page D
The Waterbury Democrat., 1945-09-21
MussoIini's Mistress

(continued from Page D
The Waterbury Democrat., 1945-09-21
JobIess
 Estimates

tcontinued from Page 1>
The Waterbury Democrat., 1945-09-21
Payments On AIimony

Continued from Page D
The Waterbury Democrat., 1945-09-21

Science editor J. Leonard of that news-mag went to the atomic bomb
Detroit evening times., 1945-10-07

price car - offered hcice as much power
per dollar as the first Chrysler, sold for
about half as much per pound!
Imagination Is the directing force at
Chrysler Corporation =. YOU get the benc
fit of its influence and discoveries in each
one of our products.
Practical Imagination has helped US Turn
out guns. tanks. rockets, B-29 engines and
other uar products in record quantities.
When we make automobiles again. imagiHa.
lion will continue to increase their value
and usefulness to you.
Detroit evening times., 1945-10-07

Remember the first Chrysler? 1t was a
brand-new kind Of car triumph of Prac-
tical Imagination.
That same Imagination has worked
steadily at Chrysler Corporation ever since.
1t has pioneered scores of Improvements
such as Floating Power Fluid Drive and
Superhnish Each of them has meant in
creased comfort performance or safety
new economy Of operation or upkeeP.
Values Of our cars have progressed far be-
yond that original model. The last pre-war
Plymouth - Chryslcr Corporation lowest
Detroit evening times., 1945-10-07

Imagination is the bridge between
the vision and the reality;
it finds ways To give an idea
shape and substance and make il
useful To many people.
Imagination at Chrysle-
Corporation both creates and
constructs il is the force that
adds special value to trucks,
cars or tanks. guns. rockets.
Detroit evening times., 1945-10-07

AlRTEhp
Heating. Cooling Re'rissfeiion
CARYsttR
Marine and lndoStisI tnginsi
OlllTE
Powdered Meta Products
hOPAR
Parts and Accessories
Ohio Waisenfreund. [volume] (Pomeroy, O. [Ohio]) 1874-1953, 1945-11-03
katn. 111n t1t nptn BrunPr?
Bon 6. s. &ei denberger

@inige 8eri9te, piltiirlid Der.
ou5gegriffen aus Der ungebeuerli6eu
Tragooie guropas:
~ Gin 8rief eines 8aitors an Sen
8iI6of bon @bi6eIter aus Der &ul.
len5one 0eS Retbes: SD fannie all
Die 2eioen ser Suoen uno bobe 0ie
Wortern zines OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES
erouloet. 8os lt6 ober augenblidlid,
Dor unleren gugen ablpielt, iteQt al.
les gergungene in 5datten. Sd
oenfe 3. 9. an iene, Die li6 ielber oo5
2eben nabmen. Sauien0e bon 2eiden
baumeln an ben 8dumen I'M Ser.
lin, niemano nimmt it6 Die Miibe,
lie ob3uidneiOen. Gauienoe treiben
in Der glbe uno Sber binob gum
Weere, ntemano fiimmert li6 bus
rum. Saulenoe unb 5ebntaulen0e &c.
ben auf Der 2anoitraBe 5uerun0e Dor
Sunger uno @ridopfung. 9lnoere
tauIenoe Dliien nidt, mo- tie ie in
Der 8elt nieoer Elm Sein finoen. "
Gin anoerer vSan" i'm lelben 8rieie
~3mei E06ter bon Baltor 8. uuo
cine 5ebniabrige @nfelin Ieioen bon
@onorrboea infolge elmer Sddn6mg.
aer5te fonnen lie nidt peiter bebou.
oeln Degen Oeongel an glr3neicn.
Seine oreiunoa6t5lgiabrige Wtuttcr
ltarb an Den 5olgen elmer Sh0n-
oung."
2.) Cine 9lborbnung BON 8rieIter1
aus Dem SuOetenlano, Die lif) nnt}
Berlin Inn Silfe panote, ltellte felt:
~gnoe slugult fom Elm Gron5port
bon SuOeten-Geuti6en in Berlin an.
Ct fam aus Sroppau (SibediiH-
Shlelien) unO mar a6t3ebn Gage uns
termegs. @be Der transport BON
Groppau auSltet 5ablte man pier
uno3Dan5igbunoert Srouert, &inOer
uno alte Seute. 1850 naren nod aul
2eben uls ser Gransport onfun.
1,O5O 5rouen, &inoer uno Drcie
itarben bon @riG0pfung pGbreno Der
odt5ebntdeigen 9teiie in ofiencn
8obnmagen. 8ie groB miro Der 9ro.
5entlab Der Spfer iein, penn 8cgcn
uno Shnee itatt guten Gommermet-
tiers Den Strom Der Slu6tlinge be,
gletten?" - Sit es Elm @unoer, 0oB
Der Quisling 8enei6 nun ben Gu.
oeten-Seutl6en perboten bat, 8riefe
gu idreiben, oaB Die ti6e6o.fomnlu.
ntltllbe Poit 8riefe bon Geutiden
aus oem auslano, olio 3. g. aus
4mertfa, ni9t mebr peiterbef0r"
oertl2 8eneib uno iein u@ang"
ld)einen pirfli6 ben gbrgei5 gu ia.
ben, Die Sitler-SinmIer an Geufe.
lesen 5u iiberbieten. Ilno in oieiem
famoien 2abinett iisen s,pei fatboli.
Ohio Waisenfreund. [volume] (Pomeroy, O. [Ohio]) 1874-1953, 1945-11-03

@louben: tpenn er feline 8erte bot,
ilt er fir iid oaein tot" (Sof. 2, Is
ff).
Seit Monaten fonn1t mir INNER
pieoer oas Negro Spiritual in ben
Sinn: Where haze yom been, 9Vhem
they crucifiad my Lord? gbriitus
miro 9efreu5igt, mo INNER elmer
Seiner 8riioer berbungert, oer'
fon1mt, oertrie6en ODER geldanoet
miro. $50 marit Ou bel Der &reu3is
gltng Seiner ulebten Bru0er"? -
SD mar bungrig uno ibr bobt Weib
n i d t geipeiIt; Sd mar ourItig uno
ibr bobt yeid n d t getranft, nadt
ibr bobt gi6 nj DIT befleioet"
(Otattb. 25, 42).
Ohio Waisenfreund. [volume] (Pomeroy, O. [Ohio]) 1874-1953, 1945-11-03

len. sic Hagt aber aud iiber ntan9e
9eutIden. 9ie 9tetnemo6frauen I'd.
men ni6t mebr, penn lte ni6t aud
eine Rabl5eit erbielten. @s itebe
i9Iimm Inn bas oeutI6e Bolf, tpenn
es 6ieie armen SliidtIinee berfonl'
men laiie. Denn i6lteBlid tonne man
ia ni6t anoers, man miiiie iebt tDte'
Der 5upafen un0 bon borne anfnn'
gen, unb 6orauf TONNE eben alles
an.
9ie meiiten Der SIi6tlinge iin6
loseetrennt bon tbren Samilien. auf
Dem 8abnbof, an ollen 8Gnoen, on
ben 8aumItdmmen Der berfiimmer'
ten Naee, iiberaG bdngen 3ettel, ite'
BEN Standardization nit 9amen
~8tn oa unb 6a 5u finoen, iude met
men Wonn, meine &inoer, meine 81
tern. 8otidoft an meinen 8ruoer.
aoreIie, 5u Der n1ein &ino gei9idt
peroen ion" - Sunoerte iol6er bilf'
loIen &ufe ms nnbetannte. Seine
Stelle gibt es our 3eit, Die Ioreiien
5u bermitteln Oermo6te, feline Boit
iiber Die 3onen meg, feline anidrift
fir Die Seimotloien. Seoer tragt 5ll
ieinem etgenen @len0 ou6 oos ieiner
RadIten, uu6 Die l1ngepiBbeit um
oen unoern. Sabre oes namli6en
S6idiols onberer 8olter lino berein'
gebro6en iber oiele Weni6en, oenen
aber bos eigene beute iiber Dem &opi
! 3ulommenl6lGgt, 10 oaB lie nt9ts
nebr ieben als oas eigene 2eio.
uno oonn bic &inoer. Wan6e Der
Utiitter geben abneienoen @eiites aui
Der StroBe bin unb Der, fiibren Elm
/ I9peigenoes, ousgemer9eltes 9inb
an Der Sano, anOere fabren &tnOer'
pagen Dor 1t6 Der, in Dem meinenoe
8obps Iiegen. 0ie i6pdderen uno
franfen &inOer liegen in einem 3im'
mer in Der 2ebrterltraBe. /8ett6en
| itno ba bineingei6i6tet uno iiberett'
anoergeitellt, in 0enen lfelettbafte
We1en I1egen ooer Doden. Saln elnes
bon oieien miro am 2eben bleiben.
Snmitten 0e5 3immers libt cine 5rau
nit einem Dielleidt 5lpei Oeonate al
ten Sinh i'm 9lrm. Sic i6lu65t obne
Tranen Dor liG bin. 0os &ino III
blauli6, nur mebr Elm @erippe, iiber
oaS litb cine baudoiinne 9out ipannt
gs i6reit aber nod. 0ie 5rou idul1t
ouf unb iogt: ~3pei itno mir geltor'
ben. 9as lit oos lebte." 0ann fragt
lie, mann tie peiterreilen 6iirfe, mad
8elten. Ser Setter OeS Glii6tlings'
beime5 mubnt lie, lid gu ge0ulOen,
oa5 peroe l6on fommen, uno Die
Aaiierten berbonOelten ia bereits
Ooriiber. Sic lagt ni6ts mebr unb
ienft BEN &opf ouf oas Dimmernoe,
| Iterbenoe &leine.
Ohio Waisenfreund. [volume] (Pomeroy, O. [Ohio]) 1874-1953, 1945-11-03
Trager Stuhlgang und
schlechte Verdauung

lperben ihnen unb bauern6 beboben
burf Or. Gbbs's arauter.Billen. sie
ba6en Eauier,oen grleibterung ge.
braht. 8reis: l 5da9tel nit 100
gilen. 6Oc; 2 Shahteln, ST.. 8Ius
Sc Borto. Bite Der 8eiteIlung eine
3c.8riefmarfe fir 8orto beiaufiigen.
JOHN d: NEUAGANN
500 HEYL AVE. COLUMBUS Q, O..
Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1945-03-08

of the American Red Cross, made
a speech of acceptance.
Mrs. Edward H. Helmuth, Chair
man of Volunteer Special Services
for the Chapter, told how the sta
ton wagon was acquired at auc-
ton.
Mrs. George A. Smoot, Chair
man of the Motor Corps, promised
that it would have the best of care.
Mrs. L. D. Whitaker, Chairman
of Blood Donor Service for the
County Chapter, gave short talk
on, the use Of plasma and whole
blood, and told how Montgomery
County's contribution to the Blood
Donor program had increased.
Through the visits of the mobile
unit to various towns and arrange
ments for transportation by Mo-
tor Corps, practically everyone
meeting the physical requirements
has an opportunity to donate blood.
Pictures were passed through the
audience showing, the various steps
in the collection and administration
of whole blood. .ao-i. ~
Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1945-03-08
Is, 700 Lbs. Waste Paper
Collected BY Scouts

More than 5000 pounds of
waste paper were collected by Scout
Troop No. PSI of Rockville, in a
special drive on Feb. Is. Under
the supervision of Scoutmaster FL.
j. Moore, sc Scouts and 7 men
worked more than twelve hours on
Sunday to collect the record
amount of waste paper.
Another suck drive will be held
Sunday, April,15. Citizens of the
Rockville area who do not care to
save their. waste paper for this
collection, can. cali Rockville 57S
and arrangements will be made for
scouts to pick up the paper.
Troop 23l wen the February top
honors in. the Scout salvage move
inent,, by which representative
will be selectaed to go to, York, Pa,
a trip sponsored by the Washing
ton Post. u
Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1945-03-08
Delinquent Tax List
To Be Published Soon

Treasurer John B. Diamond an
nounced last week that preparation
of Montgomery County's delin-
quent tax list, which has been UNI
der way in the Office of the count
treasurer here for several weeks, is
about completed and the first adj
vertisement will appear next week.
Although the number of De.
linquents is much smaller than
usual, more than 700 pieces os
real estate will be offered for sale
at public auction on tae second
Monday in April unless taxes, in
terest and costs are paid in the
meantime. Two years are allowed
for redemption Of property thus
sold,