The Waterbury Democrat., 1945-03-15
COLO BUCOLIC


 doctor in Penn Yan, infantile collie -eh? Why, you can't miss it, l mean Penn Yan, remember, that lovely village in the valley at the foot of Keuka. gem of the Fling CT Lakes?-it was an exceptional baby that got by without semester of collie or at least a frequent nip of soothing syrup which, at that time. contained enough morphine to stop the strongest baby from crying for new hours and some of the weaker ones forever.
 Even now there's a Saireygamp in every neighborhood, usually a well meaning woman who has had no scientific or technical training but through circumstances has help ed out in some baby cases and for ever after functions as an expert. Anyway the Saireygamps in those days sold a lot of soothing syrup by word of mouth-a sales system that the fake or quack nurse" ad- vertisements of today can't ap- proach in effectiveness, even with beautiful models posing for the pictures.
 Some of you dunderheads who know so much about the baby bllsi- ness that isn't so will be astonish- ed, perhaps, that I do not assert, in my wk. fashion, that babies NEVER have collie. Unfortunately few babies suffer from paroxys- mai spasmodic pain in the belly, IN,, ,t NtN1vy IryI, fInu houa grave illness such as I shall not mention here, for 1t would only give health ignorant mothers something more to worry about. But can assure you that when baby has such collie he does NOT draw up his legs get red in the face and holler like naything; on the con- trary he lies quiet and cries feebly if at all and looks anxious and pale, not red in the face.
 It is natural for a healthy baby to draw up his legs. get red in the face and yell to beat the band when any little thing annoys or ir- ritates him--say when he is hungry and dinner is not served promptly; or whn that dad-blasted physic the old busybody persuaded you to give him deranges the nice automatic adjustment or regulation of his alimentary function; or when you keep him all bundled up with so much clothing or bed covers that he is burned up.
 A common cause of the disturb ance the Saireygamps call "colic" is physic, any physic at all and if baby gets fairly intelligent care and feeding not even the most meddlesome busybody can cook up an excuse for inflicting physic or laxative of any kind on the baby. The lower the intelligence of the parents the etrlier is phySic or other mischievous interference with the alimentary function started but then what can we expect of parents who have never been taught anything about the care of babies in the course of their "education"? The very thought of babies and their care, or what we are, where we came from a how we got here is anathema to the educational au- thorities in JYankeeland. Here we believe the gutter and the street give the proper instruction in such subjects.
 QUESTIONS and ANSWERS
 Milk versus Wine
 Is there naything in good port wine that will build blood in an anemic person? I am g years of age, and have had liver shots and iron medicine from the doctor. but l think these just form a habit.
 CD. M. F.)
 AnsWer-No. Milk is much better than wine, and meat is better than milk, for an enemic person. I do not believe iron or liver extracts administered by the doctor can create a habit. Send ten cents and stamped envelope bearing your ad- dress, for booklet Blood and Health"
 May I please have your leaflet on Iodine Ration? F. E, W.)
 Answer-Will you call for it or shall I send it by freight? or Doc Brady is terrible tightwad. h. close stamped envelope bearing your address, if you hope to get an answer from him.
 SaireygampS
 Following your suggestion have been using lanolin with oil as com plexion cream for several months and it has cleared my complexion considerably, but friends of mine nurses with whom I work-tell me 1t will grow hair Miss s. E.
 AnsWer-They are too gullible. 's Copyright 1945, John F. Dille Col