Browning chief. [volume] (Browning, Mont.) 1941-1953, 1945-05-11
CHAPTER XVI

1t was not long until I was back
on the farm for my summer work.
My mother was sitting out on the
porch, with quilt over her knees. I
was shocked to see how frail and
hollow-eyed she was. When spoke
of it, she said, "I'l soon be feeling
better" After a few minutes she
said, "That's the hill your Pa and
came over the first time ever saw
this farm"
The idea was still in my fathers
mind that maybe I would stay, and
he limited around. But, much as
liked the farm, must 60 on with the
thing that was deepest in me. He
tried to interest me by asking my
advice about this and that; but my
heart was not in it. He was be-
ginning to realize that the day was
coming when I would pull away
from the old farm. was impatient
with the farm; work, work, work.
City life for me.
AS inconvenient as it was for Pa,
and the necessity for keeping hand,
Pa was proud that he had son
"of at the university" When he went
to town on Saturday, he took my
last letter along and would casually
get it out to check some statement
he had made. Eyes, that's what
Homer writes me from the univer-
sity." Or II guess they have pref
ty good school down there. At least
my boy seems to think So" When he
spoke to me in person it always
was, "You must get all you can
out of it. Lots of boys don't have
the chance you have" That indeed
was true, for I was the only one
from Knabb who had gone.
One day there was a telegram on
the mail table in the hall, and I
knew. "Your mother is falling" it
said.
Uncle Al, instead of Pa, came
to meet me. But when we got to the
farm, Pa was standing by the gate,
waiting. He held out his work.
SCARED hand. 81 guess your Uncle
AL has told you"
eyes," I said thickly.
1--WE did all we could for her," he
continued. "We can go in and look
at her."
We went in together and stood be-
side the coffin. ''She was a good
mother to you," he said.
The next day Pa and Phebe and I
got in our hack, the neighbors fell
in behind, and the procession start
ed for the Cain Cemetery. When we
came to the lane that leads off
the main road, someone opened the
gate for the hearse, and we drove
through the pasture to the knoll
where so many of the pioneers lay.
The neighbors, who had dug the
grave, were standing there, wait
ing, still holding their shovels A clod
was tossed on the box, then the men
began to work their shovels Final
ly, Pa and Phebe and I walked back
to where the horses had been
hitched to the racks.
Two or three of the neighbors
stayed and helped get supper Pa
bent his head, as had seen him do
SO many times, and thanked God
for our blessings.
The next day I went back to the
university and again took up my
.schoolwork.
After I was through with school
! went to St. Louis and applied for
a job on the St. Louis Post-Dispatch
and, since they had been active in
launching the school of journalism,
/ pretty well had them. They offered
$40 week and l went to work for
that. l now realize it was a mistake
not to ask for more, for it is much
easier to get an extra five dollars a
week when you are bargaining than
after you're established on the pay
roll. Some way or other, when you
get fixed at certain figure, it takes
an act of God to lift you out of it.
In addition to my job, l was writ
ing stuff ION the side," and some of
it sold. Just enough to keep me
running after it, like mule with a
nubbln dangling in front of it. Things
I wrote seemed good to me, al
though now I realize how simple
and naive they must have been. In
fact, all my life the things l have
written seemed good to me at
the time wrote them. Some people
seem to have the ability of self
criticism. But I haven't and it has
cost me many a heartbreak. The
things I have shaved over and be-
ieved in SO deeply, have made no
impression whatever. While some
of the things have tossed off, with
hardly thought, have made a place
for themselves. What makes one
60 and another fail is something 1
don't understand. And now have a
little philosophy of my own: I do
everything as well as I can and
hope for the best. Sometimes l
get it; often I don't.
Once week would get letter
from Pa. In the upper left-hand cor
ner would be the return form with
his name written in indelible pencil.
Everything was as well as could be