davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1945-01-11
JACK PICKERING

ment was lacking at the
moment, I'd have TO wait.
THE equipment isn't much
i a As automatic, a maya
zine full of cartridges, a pair
of handouts. I'd leave as soon
as somebody else was through
using the handouts. Hopes
rose.
Came a telegram from De-
troit: The prisoner was in the
hospital. No use going after
him yet. Hopes plummeted.
On Christmas Day I sulked
in my tent (oh. all right, in my
shack and felt sure that the
AWOL brother had gone TO the
hospital just TO spite me.
The days after Christmas
dragged. The officer for whom
I'm currently working de-
stroyed the last shred Of hope
when he remarked:
We've got some heavy days
coming, so well probably post
pone the trip for a few days"
The last hope Of being home for
New Years vanished with the
hopes that had existe d for
Christmas.
And what happened? Two
hours later, along came orders
to report the next morning for
gun and cuffs, and start home.
That meant leaving Saturday.
Remember when you got your
first bicycle? When you went
to your first dance? Remember
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1945-01-11
By Damon
Runyon

seems 10 me there is a most dis
quoting note in this paragraph.
/ BELIEVE there can be no
L doubt that critic Thomson
here urges Entertainments upon
the nerves of his fellow citizens
with a callousness and selfish
ness that you would not expect
10 find in one OF the artistic
nature that music criticism
calls for. I discern nowhere
in his critical ear-tweaking OF
Miss Milanov and his cries 10
her 10 do home work any sug-
gestion that he has paused and
reflected:
But what Of Miss Milanov's
neighbors?"
/ once lived in the same
apartment house in New York
as a lady singer who INDUCED
in the daily exercise of scales
and arpeggios recommended 10
Miss Milanov by critic Thomson
though I do not charge that he
had any influence upon, this
other dame am talking about.
In fact, I think it most un-
likely. She was ornery enough
10 do II without any prompting.
A NYWAY, she used to haul
"A of early every morning and
start la-la-la-la-la-l a-la-la-la-ing
until she had every one else in
the Joint awake and on edge.
One tenant got so jumpy about
IL that he tried TO remove his
wffe's hair-do with a hack saw,
beginning just abaft her tonsils
and another robbed his widowed
aunt of her life savings and
went 10 Central America and
started a revolution.
Hour after hour that dame
would 60 la-la-la-la-la-la. I was
personally upset as badly as any
one else because / had a dog
that disliked her la-la-la-la-la
and would howl until IL got it
self In a tiny. l tried to lodge
a complaint with the anti-noise
authorities but they said my
case lay with the S. p. c. A.,
and ! never was able to catch
any one in there.
I heard rumors some years
ago of her retirement TO her
estate In France and here re-
Gently another tenant of the
apartment house who is now a
soldier over there reported that
he Is stationed with his COM
mand near an old chateau In
Normandy from which every
day there emanates the la-la-la-
la-la-la-la that he recognizes as
her voice and which has given
rise TO saying among the
troops, war is hell"
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1945-01-11

mo. It indicates what is
called a "compulsion neurosis."
Many people have these COM
pulsion neuroses. such as feeling
compelled to step over every
crack in the sidewalk, or going
back to see II the gas Is turned
of, and hundreds Of other feel
ings that they must do certain
things.
2-Yes. You should practice 1t
all your lives. Parents should
teach their children how TO
make rapid. positive, and wise
decisions. II Is a sign OF grown
UP emotions and q balanced
personality. This does not mean
you should make snap judy
ments without information.
3-Yes, for the first women's
clubs. For ages men thought
women had too little intelli-
gence and administrative ability
to organize clubs. But as soon
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1945-01-11
One Word Led to Another
BY Linda and
Jerry Walter
IN. Detroit Times
By Arthur Bugs" Baer

l shall relegate the obvious to the limbo of the
reiteratve and concentrate the simple things of e
This is the tenth spasm Of the new chronological de-
lirum known as 1945 On the first of this month and
year you passed resolution against your bad habits
never do that. / do not consider anything bad
habit that you cannot get arrested for.
Let's take one habit and one resolution. You have
had the good intention endorsed and ratified by yourself
and 80 states.
And you have held to that determination for 40 ter
rife days Do you realize what you have done to your
resolution?
Why, the resolution has become habit So you must
wait until 1915 and pass resolution against the resou
ton. That's how committees are born
l never sign any pledges against wine, women and
song because too often they turn out to be wrs Of
plevn. The way to reform is by wipower Now haven't
smoked cigar chinned a shorter frted for almost
two weeks. It's strange how look better and
feel worse.
guess must be just about the best citizen in the
nation Do you realize have reformed 38 straight times
since 1907?
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1945-01-11

ITS an Ill wind that blows no.
i body good.
The wind blew a month or so
ago. That Is, one of the trainees
whose feet hurt him more than
his conscience did. went over
the hill and he was In due
course apprehended at his home
In Detroit.
Whatever evil consequences it
will have for him-which will
be adequ cit looked as
though I would get home for
Christmas as result.
When an AWOL is caught,
somebody has to 60 bring him
back and in this particular in
stance il appeared that the job
would fall to me. / happen to
be the only cadreman in the
company hailing from Detroit,
with the exception of Sgt. Jerry
Bonzelaar, who was on furlough
at the time anyway.
It's surprising how much
fretting and stewing you'll do
over the prospect of being home
for day or so. My hopes
started going up and down.
Maybe I'd get the assignment,
they said. Then II was definite,
but because some of the equip
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1945-01-11
MARY HAWORTH'S MAIL

10 have any engagements away
from him.
In September, / returned TO
college and told him we would
be married three months.
Then / received a note from
him. breaking our engagement.
Shortly afterward, I read in
the paper an announcement OF
his marriage to another girl.
was so i'll for a while I
couldn't 60 back TO school; and
now can't concentrate at all.
think only of Bob. and how
! ruined my life by procrastina-
ton.
Where did I blunder? Did I
do him an injustice asking him
TO wait?
DEAR B. D.:
pUINED your life by procras-
~ tination. my hat!
Your attitude. and your
fathers, was so mildly and
beautifully right throughout, and
Bob's so petulantly wrong, that
you may be assured Providence
stepped in TO protect you against
him.
Bob is a boor. as evidenced by
his failure, even after prompt
ing. to speak 10 your father,
which any self-respecting man
would have done voluntarily and
at once: by his churlish rejec-
tion OF all your old friends and
by his rude indifference to your
interest in religion, music, plays,
etc.
Even the fact OF his urgently
counting a girl II years his
junior is significant strike
against him. because, as psy-
biologists know, usually there Is
screw loose in the mentality
OF mature-age man who seeks
sweethearts in the teen-age or
school girl bracket.
NJ. II.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1945-01-11
THESE DAYS

THE President, in his varied
Il moods, cannot resist COM
pairing the Atlantic charter"
10 the Ten Commandments
which. If the Bible Is not to be
revised for each political oppor-
tunity, was inspired by God.
And those commandments
have survived for many thou
sands OF years and are Of
universal application and ac-
ceptance, whereas we are al
ready quarreling over the exact
date when the Atlantic char
ter" died, whether at birth or
when the MISUNDERSTANDING
line, with deviations. was ac-
cepted as the ultimate eastern
boundary of Poland.
The President, being a great
scholar, points learnedly to the
varieties Of human applications
of the Ten Commandments.
Yet, Thou shalt not commit
adultery is pretty clear to
most human beings, although
there are some who get away
with three or four divorces in
q lifetime without apparent diff
6culty.
Similarly, Thou shalt not
kill" has become altogether
fixed in the minds of men when
murder Is conducted on q retail
basis: we are still confused con-
corning Its wholesale manifesto
tons.
As to the cornerstone Of all
sociology, the family system,
the Ten Commandments makes
that clear In the dictum, Honor
thy father and thy mother" but
recently scientists have substi.
tuted the state for the family,
so that the dictator becomes the
father and mother Of his people.
TIVE trouble with that kind Of
l. comparison Is that IL Is rea-
soning by analogies which do
not apply.
The Ten Commandments Is q
summary Of fundamental law;
the Atlantic charter" Is a
promise by two politicians of
what their countries might be
willing 10 believe Is right at an
indefinite time in the future.
There Is some talk in the
Atlantic charter" Of four free
doms which are too few.
Every despot that ever be-
STROBE the earth believed that
he knew what was good for
everybody else.
I am sure that Hitler is posi-
tive that he is doing Germany
good.
Certainly every revolutionist
from Bakunin through Lenin
and Trotsky to Stain was GER
tain that everything he did was
for the good Of humanity al
though Marxism has filled an
entire generation with the foul
est poisons man has yet been
forced to absorb.
I'M SURE Henry Wallace was
Il positive that he was serving
the American people when he
killed the little pigs although
we could now use their bacon
for our children, to say nothing
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1945-01-11
BY George E.
Sokolsky

of their hams for our soldiers.
Most men try 10 do good al
though often their conception
of good becomes In application
the veriest Of evil.
So we can let intentions 60
and adhere to the liberty of
judgment and action which is
the foundation of all freedom
yes, the right to be wrong, the
right to make mistakes-and to
suffer the consequences as in
dividuals.
That wisdom the founding
fathers knew SO well.
When you read the Con-
stitution, you will note how
completely the individual Is pro-
tected by all sorts Of limitations
placed upon government.
III this country rigidly adj
hered to the Constitution, il
could afford to throw such a
pale-faced summation of human
freedom as the Atlantic charter
into the ocean whence came its
being.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1945-01-11
BRIGHTER SIDE

I READ the newspapers pretty
i thoroughly. Practically moth
ing misses my eagle eye. I read
even the music critics, though
frankly my interest in music is
rarely ever at white heat.
My omniverousness in this re-
spect brought me 10 the criti-
cism OF the erudite Virgil
Thomson OF the revered Herald
Tribune on the opera Norma,
as presented at New York City's
celebrated Metropolitan Opera
House with specific reference 10
the vocalizing of Miss Zinka
Milanov.
! quote:
IL wish Miss Milanov would
practice more at home. She has
a beautiful voice and q taste for
the bravura style. Unfortu-
nately, bravura singing Is always
q failure unless based on the
daily exercise of scales and
arpeggios."
Now music critics are nor
mally extremely gentle and sem
sitive creatures. and ! would be
the last person in the world TO
supect any one OF them OF In
cendiarism in any form, but 1t
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1945-01-11

who planned becoming a bride
in Miami. has changed her mind.
Bandleader- Joe Ricardel- is
singing his love ditties TO Joyce
Rogers, a Conover cutie, who
listens with all of her ears.
Lindy's, the popular Broadway
rend vous, Is said TO have
netted more than $135. 900 last
year.
The reason for the N. Y.
butcher strike Is this: The
Govt clamped down hard on
black marketing. The butchers
learned the fine was too high to
make any profit. even at BIN.
fees. They decided il was
cheaper TO get out Of business
than make wholesalers rich and
themselves poor.
Martha Goldthwaite's holiday
gift 10 Jerry Cooper was a gold
money clip with a ruby-set inn
print Of her luscious lips.
DILL BAKERS observation:
l. "Breathes there a man with
soul so dead, who has ne'er
glanced DER his shoulder and
said; 'Hmmmm. Not baaadd'"
Ann Dvorak, the screen ac-
tress, who recently divorced
Leslie Fenton. the actor. is still
his most constant companion.
but no reconciliation.
Louis Hayward's attorneys
have reached a property settle
ment, so Ida Lupino's abroga-
ton proceedings may be ex-
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1945-01-11
Letters From
A Soldier

way back when you got your
first furlough?
They're all of the same flavor
of excitement. Maybe this trip
meant bringing back a boy who
was in trouble. That's too bad
but for me it's a chance to 60
home. It means riding 1900
miles or so, just TO be home for
a day. It's worth II. It's some
thing extra. It's the maraschino
cherry on the sundae. It's the
extra piece of pie.
It's the chance to tell every
body, We'll, looks as though I'd
be home for New Years Eve"
and try not to gloat too much.
And Ii was a time to worry
lest, by next morning, the
AWOL should be back In the
hospital, or some other event
might postpone the whole bus
ness again.
DIDN'T occur to me, until
l. late in the afternoon, that I
had only IS cents. OF course
the army pays for your meals
and transportation. but you like
to have a little cash, and an
army camp. the week after
Christmas and the next pay day
two days away is no time to try
to borrow money. BY 6 o'clock
I'd raised my resources TO 20
cents, of which ! invested 40 in
a prudent haircut, because the
army is stern about having your
hair short. -
By z, I'd found a man with 50,
and was ready to call II enough.
hadn't even thought of asking
the trainees, but Dan Touchefte,
lad in my hut, heard me fussing.
fished into his money belt-and
the next morning Pickering had
$3.50. Oh glorious day!
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1945-01-11

KING GEORGE OF GREECE
IA is irked with his public re-
lstions experts. They kept him
staying in his London hotel room
during the Athens mess-instead
Of okaying His Highness' usual
routine of making the London
Mate places surrounded by a
bevy of beauts.
Cuba's Batista will settle in
Brazil.
Edith Roark arrived at Club
Is with her pet dawg wearing
an ermine coat which it got for
Christmas. 1t used to have a
mink one.
Clark Gable has finally been
trapped by Anita Colby, whose
loneliness confronts magazine
readers.
M. Todds new show, Central
Park" has Sigmund Romberg's
most embarrassing score, sc-
cording to Philly First-Nighters.
A pro-F'DR newspaper owner,
who was amazed at the Presi-
dents insistence on his State
Dept selections, spoke 10 him
about his stand. To which FDR
replied: you should have seen
the list they first sent me. This
ones been launderedl"
TNIIE federal trade commission
l. is checking up on endorsers
of products in ads. Wants TO
find out If the celebs who en-
dorse them actually use them.
Jerri Blanchard, the thrush,
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1945-01-11
On
Broadway

pected shortly. His new interest
is Peggy Morrow.
Capt Robert Cecil Cor
don-Cannings (he's the rich coal
magnate. and she was Mary
Macquire) are Mr.. and Miss
again.
In a Hollywood shop a sales
man quoted an antique at $9S.
The woman thawt the fee too
tall :. He said: You're Joan
Crawford, aren't your" NO."
she said, but people often take
me for her" To which he re-
Piled We'll. then, I guess we
can let you have this for $65."
Nobody in his normal mind
can figger out why CHS per-
mits males TO sing "A Story Of
Two Cigarets' but bans females
from singing it.
IN THE Endure last night a
i group of sour-gripers were
belittling the success of Broad
way producers take Billy
Rose" sneered one. "Where
would he be II not for the war;"
Probably travelling around
the world spending his money"
replied lie Crane, "instesd Of
giving IL TO Uncle Sam for war
taxes"
The war In Europe would be
going much better if the diplo-
mats would stop dividing up
land that we haven't won yet!
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1945-01-11

ket, a wife has a case Of jumpy
nerves.
On her return trip she should
put a red feather in her hat as
warning she is in no mood for
any kind of argument.
You know. just in case she
meets her mother-in-law in a
bus or street car. 81
QUERIES from clients: O.
W What do you think of Cliff
ton Fadiman, the suave master
Of ceremonies OF Information,
Please?
A-Seems your query should
have been worded differently.
You should have said, would
you care to say what you think
of Clifton Fadiman
Mr.. Fadiman Is a clever fell
low.
He has a good sense of humOr
and IL adept at repartee.
He is self-consciousIy intellec-
tuAl, but that IL an amiabIe
weakness which should be
viewed with tolerance.
Many very nice people are
similarly affected.
Q-Now we will never know
how good your pick was of First
Fiddle to win the Santa Anita
Handicap. But what play do you
think will win the Pulitzer
Prize?
Al Remember Mama"
NOW have a reader in Picon-
~ ming, Mich. He says he has
"the most beautiful red haired
wife in Michigan" Men making
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1945-01-11

gagement (my mother is dead,
until Bob spoke to him about II.
Father said he didn't want 10
be old-fashioned, but still felt a
young man should say some
thing TO the parents OF a girl
before the family issued an an
nouncement.
I gently suggested this 10
Bob, who said ne expected 10
speak 10 father soon, but never
did.
Sometimes I would have liked
10 60 10 a concert or movie, or
10 church on Sunday. none OF
which Bob ever wanted TO do.
He became very angry when
upon occasion / had engage
ments with old friends, and
made IL clear he didn't want me
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1945-01-11
e. v. DURLING

II heaven a draught Of heavenly
pleasure spare,
One cordial in this melancholy
yale,
IT'S When youthful, loving,
modest pair,
In each Others arms breathe
out the tender tale.
Robert Burns.
when you were breathing
out the tender tale" TO the young
woman who became your wife,
did you use straight English or
baby talk"?)
THE husband, when he has
L had a hard day at the office,
wears his hat well on the left
side of his head upon arriving
home.
When the wife has had a bad
day at h o m e. she wears her
apron back TO front.
These signals inspire kindly
understanding and sympathetic
treatment of the situation Of
both mates.
The couple in question has
been happily married 48 years.
So states student of married
life. Very interesting.
The system could be further
developed.
For example, man some
times gets up feeling grouchy.
On such occasions he should
come TO breakfast carrying
red flag.
Often, after a trip TO the mar
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1945-01-11
BETTER HEALTH
By DR.. Logan Clendening-

chronic disease Is more appar-
ent than real because the dis
ease Of childhood in which
caloric restriction is most likely
10 be imposed is diabetes and
when insufin is brought in as
part Of treatment any amount
Of calories and any kind of food
may be taken.
Salt restriction in children
who have kidney trouble with
dropsy should not be carried too
far.
The idea Of forbidding not
only table salt but every food
which contains salt will result
in more harm than good except
during the acute exacerbation of
the diseases.
The yitamin problem solves
itself in these days Of synthetic
vitamins. But be sure they are
fresh and active.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1945-01-11
On the
Side

such claims should send map
ShotSl
Pvt. Herman Berman OF Brok-
Ign, N. Y. mentioned here some
time ago as a member OF the
MNIAP Club. has been wounded
in action. Must try TO get Her
mans address. Might cheer the
lad up a little TO get some let
tiers from other people with
rhyming names
80
DASSING BY: Joan Crawford.
Il Very dramatic actress. Joan
has been a film star for 20
years. This Is the record for
star billing among the feminine
cinema lurninaries. Greta Carlo
is second In this respect. Rich
ard Dix holds the record for
male stars. He has enjoyed star
billing for nearly IS years.
Dooley Wilson. Brilliant vo-
calist. / wish they would revive
"Casablanca" just so / could
hear Mr.. Wilson again sing.
TT S. ARMY sergeant, a popu-
". lar song fan, suggests the
revival of the ditty Cry Baby"
which was popular around 1918.
The sergeant says. II revived.
this song is "a cinch to top the
Hit Parade"
Writes Chicagoan:
"My son was rejected for the
air corps because of a slight de-
ficiency In his left eye. His pal,
who has an artificial eye, was
accepted and has been I'm the air
corps one year"
Copyright. ls45. By Kins Features
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1945-01-11
Brain Game Answers

Georgia and Florida.
2-Deanna Durbin.
3L"Indian Love Call" Rose
Marie; Tea for Two" No.
No, Nanette; Night and
Day." Gay Divorce; The
Moon of Manakoora," The
Hurricane.
4-(d) Is correct.
5-True.
6+Two cups.
THE abandonment Of all ac-
cepted forms and traditions.
eLou Boudreau.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1945-01-11
DEAR MARY HAWORTH:

DEAR MARY HAWORTH:
GENERAL months ago I met
~ Bob. young engineer in the
armed forces an officer, 81
years old. I am 10.
We fell in love and became
engaged.
Bob wanted 20 be married i'm
mediately: and although l loved
him dearly. l told him l would
like 10 know him a little longer,
end suggested six months from
abe day we met as the wedding
date.
My father knew Of our en-
gagement and approved; but
felt we shouldn't rush marriage.
He thought we should wait a
few months. Also. he felt he
could not acknowledge the en-
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1945-01-11
Connolly Answers

1-(c). 2-(b). 3-(c). A.
(a). Sal. Sal Jeph-
than, (b) Solomon, (c) Jo-
seph, Id Ishmael, (c) Judas.
Copyright. 1s4s. By King features
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1945-01-11

A CONSTANT problem with
"A the modern scientific dieti-
tian is how 20 furnish a bal
anced diet for those patients
who have diseases which are
controlled largely by limitation
OF foods. For instance, diabetes.
The diabetic patient is re-
CURED 10 reduce and limit the
amount Of starch. sugar and
carbohydrates.
So he is likely 10 ask Il have
been told that should get
daily supply OF vitamin c out
Of orange juice or other fruit
juices. and a daily supply Of
vftamin y from cereals or
whole wheat or certain vege-
tables. but here ! am not al
lowed 10 take fruit juices be-
cause they arc so largely COM
posed Of pure sugar. and I am
forbidden cereals and bread. so
where do ! stand?"
The difficulties are more APP
parent than real, but still con-
fusion Is likely 10 exist in the
patients mind al first.
The situation is even more
complicated when dealing with
children with such chronic dis
eases as diabetes. nephritis. al
.lergy and heart trouble because
we not only have TO keep the
Tchild in ordinary nutritional
balance, but also allow for
growth.
TNHE mistake that the meal
l. planner is most likely 70 fall
into is not 10 give child
enough food - not 10 supply
enough calories.
An average adult Of $50
pounds at ordinary activity can
get along with 1,5O0 10 1000
calories.
An active boy Of 5 will use
1900 calories and by the time
he is 10 he will be using $500
Galleries.
The peak Of caloric require
ment Is about 10 for boys or
girls when they use UP about
1000 calories.
No wonder they eat between
meals; nature tells them TO.
i say the difficulty of supply
Ing this 10 the child with a