The globe-independent. (Hagerstown, Md.) 1943-19??, 1945-01-11

IA \ CAAANSg
started Dec. II. The Army figure
includes 102,961 killed, 319,935
wounded, 65,762 missing and 59,l65
as prisoners of war. The Naval
casualties are 9O,618. In the Pacific,
the Japs have lost $1,000 planes,
1000 Jap vessels sunk, and 11T,00O
dead Japs, while only, (but too
many lis American sailors killed.
Does war pay? It does not. No
doubt when the casualty list comes
in from the present fight in France
and Belgium, this nation will be
terribly shocked, plunging thousands
of families into great grief.
These will Not Starve.
Nearly one person in 20 is on the
Government pay roll in this country.
The Census Bureau has just re-
ported 1916 separate active Gov
eminent units, with 6,503,000 civil
ian employees, with 3,335,000 on the
Federal pay roll. So these will sure
ly not starve Now Herbert see what
you missed by not employing such
a standing army, and you would
have been unbeatable. But you
could have been assassinated.
Why Go To Reno?
Last year there were over 1000
marriage licenses issued in Hagers-
town, and 1903 divorces filed. Why
go to Reno?
An American Product.
France is complaining about their
rationing system being worse than
the American Jig-saw puzzle. Evil
IDENTIFY France must have copied our
great rationing form. Shake.
The Difference.
President Roosevelt thinks the
luncheon at the White House after
his Inauguration should cost only
about $4,000. When President Nc
Kinley was inaugurated in 1897, he
gave a luncheon at the White House
which was then termed as eXtrava-
CANT. 1t cost almost $1,000. But
now nothing is cheap but the air we
breathe.
We've Been Looking.
The good old OPA tells the people
to examine the posted ceiling prices
in the stores before buying, And
what job that would be. Some
of us folks have been trying to To-
cate the ceiling prices on oysters
but as they are ONLY rs cents pei
pint, breaking all high price records
they have scared to the sky over the
top of any ceiling.
Yes, We Have Nothing Today.
Cincinnati, Ohio The locked
front door of a downtown store
bears this sign: "Out of cigars; Out
of cigarettes; Out of gum; Out Of
films; Out of stamps; Out Of
patience; Out of town"
Same All Over.
A restaurant sign at Oakland, Cal.
reads, Due to present conditions
beyond our control, our menu, oul
service and especially our attitude
are not what they should be-"
Too Classy.
Washington is so encircled by hills
that the average breeze through the
city is only seven miles per hour
But even if it were rs miles pei
hour, it could not blow all the sur.
plus gas out of the city.
| Wanted To Help Him Up.
An oldish maiden lady at the tele.
phone said, Come at once, a mar
is trying to get in my window.
Sorry" said the chief, "but this il
the Fire Department, not the Police
Department" Il know that" she
said, "but my room is on the SECOND
floor, and the fellow needs a ladder.
Oh, Doctor.
The doctor said to his patient
What you need, my dear young
lady, is a little sun and air." She
said, why doctor, how dare you
I'm not evn married"
Flash.
The strip-tease artist just canno
knit because she has been taught t,
drop every stitch.
Double Flash.
Have you noticed that your tabl
salt doesn't salt, and that your gaso
line is very tired.
Triple Flash.
If the modern telescope doe
bring 800 trillion stars to view, won
der how they were counted.