Evening star., 1945-06-23
This and That
BIZ Charles z. Tracepeu.

Ihumper ana Penny were discussing
Senator Vests "Eulogy on the Dog"
The two cats we're not making much
noise about it, but sensitive ears were
able to hear what they were saying.
This" said Thumper, the big black
and white one, 'is strictly hokum."
Dogs" said Penny, "are hokum, II
you ask me-"
"This eulogy," went on Thumper,
declares that the one absolutely un-
selfish friend that a man may have
in this selfish world, the one that never
deserts him."
That's because the dog hasn't
enough sense" Penny smirked.
Don't interrupt me-" growled Thump.
"It says, Gentlemen of the jury, q
mans dog stands by him in prosperity
and poverty, in health and in sick
ness A dog would, Of course. That is
the way they are. I can't see that they
deserve any special credit for it."
Nobody but q fool would stick the
same in poverty as in prosperity" de-
clared Penny, sententiously. She deli
cately waved her tiger-striped tail.
"And listen to- this" roared Thump,
fairly rolling on the ground in his
mirth. Listen to what it says: He
will sleep on the cold ground, where
wintry winds blow and snow drives
fiercely, if only he may be near his
masters side Now that shows just
how little sense dog has got"
Nobody but complete fool" spoke
up Penny, would want to sleep on the
cold ground. Read me some more"
Old Thumper adjusted his glasses
of course cats wear them. but they are
invisible-and went on:
"'He will kiss the hand that has no
food to offer-'"
"You can read that again."
"All right, I will. He will kiss the
hand that has no food to Offer"
That's enough" spoke up Penny. IT
really couldn't believe my ears, the
first time, but if that is what it says,
guess I will have to accept it. Prob
ably the big Bozo thinks that by fawn-
ing over his master he will get some
food"
Thumper grinned. "You don't give
'em credit for much, do you, Penny?"
he said. "But you haven't heard the
rest of the sentence. Listen to this:
He will lick the wounds and sores that
come in encounter with the roughness
Of the world"
II have always said that dogs have
no delicacy whatever, and that proves
it," hissed Penny. Think of licking
some one else's wounds and sores! If
he just hadn't said sores it wouldn't be
SO bad"
Thump rolled over and over. "'He
guards the sleep of his pauper master
as if he were prince He doesn't
know which side his bread is buttered
on. YOU see."
Dogs" interjected Penny, primly,
don't eat bread"
"Oh, don't they?" queried Thumper.
"But listen to this: When all other
friends desert he remains What do
you think of that?"
II think" answered Penny, that
dogs have no common sense at all. I
wouldn't stick around if there was no
food forthcoming. I know place down
the block"
IT have my eye on one up in the next
block" purred Thump. "When riches
take wings, am going to take to my
legs. It says here that if fortune
drives the master forth an outcast in
the world, friendless and homeless, the
faithful dog asks no higher privilege
than that of accompanying him to
guard against DANCER. All this poupy-
cock about faithful and noble makes
me tired"
Penny grinned.
Senator Vest had to say something" {"
she said. "He even killed OF the mas
ter. and put the noble dog on his
grave. He had to do it. and 1t won the
trial, all right. Probably that was why
he said 1t the way he did. The truth,
according to my observation, is that
dogs are no more faithful or noble than
cats. but that they make more noise
about It. Don't you think so, Thumper?"
But Thumper wasn't thinking ut that
moment. because he was stalking q
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