Detroit evening times., 1945-01-22
OS Make the Peace PERMANENTLY Bring Our Boys Home PROMPTLY
BRIGHTER
SIDE
By Damon
Runyon

Runyon
II TIE cuvment wants to find
out where the black market
stuff Is. all IT has to do is 10
check on the warehouses of the
nation and if the guv'ment
wants 10 locate the black
market profits, all il has TO do
is 10 seal the safety deposit
boxes everywhere and demand
an accounting of the contents.
You know very we'll that a
black marketeer cannot carry
his commodities around with
HIM. lie cannot pack any con-
siderable quantity of butter. for
instance, on his person because
in the first place il might spoil
and in the second place he
might slip and skid all over the
landscape.
He cannot lug any great
volume of onions in his pockets
a. their contour wotiid destroy
the symmetry of his well tai
lorcd figure and besides onions
shed an odor that is deemed
indicate by many persons and
would surely attract attention
under the circumstances ] sug-
geSt.
The black marketeer has 10
have storage facilities and in
most cases OF special kind
and such facilities are not un-
limited IN any community and
certainly no secret. l mean the
local Better Business Bureau
must surely have a list of all its
warehouses.
Thus the guv'ment could send
its representatives into the
various communities 10 ask,
what is in your warehouses,
gentlemen, and who owns the
merchandise Kindly give us an
inventory at once that we may
decide whether the goods are
burnt cork or legit,
I AN speaking here of black
L marketing on a scale which
produces sizable profits, n o I
pocket black marketing which
involves trading in few nylons
al Sl20 per dozen and then they
are often not nylons at all |
am talking about black market
ing which has made rich men
in a couple of years OF former
buns and which is today one of
the biggest businesses in the
United States and morally
disgrace TO the country.
| would advise personal entry
and inspection of each and every
warehouse by the guVment
Representatives but for one
thing. l am informed the ware
houses everywhere are so chock-
a-block with commodities that
there is no space left in any one
Of them large enough for the
addition of an object as big as
a human being unless it might
be a human being the size Of a
bedbug.
HENCE. the guv'ment fellows
Al would have to take the
word of the local better busi-
ness bureau as to the nature
and validity Of the truck in
storage unless they care TO
accept the testimony of the
warehouses themselves. I am
told that you cannot pass a
warehouse anywhere without
-hgaLInI- II GroanlnG -under-l1S
burden and maybe one Of them
might have a confession To
make about the black market.
| am told there is enough
stuff IN the warehouses to-
relieve almost any present short
age II IT was released. Some of
tins stuff is of course legitimate
but the ease with which many
commodities of a periShable
nature which requires storage
can bc purchased in New York
city and other large centers
indicates that much of the ware
house space must be given over
10 the black market. Else the
black marketeerS have diScov-
cred a new method of preser-
VatiOn.
4 S I have told you before, the
"A black market is a touchy
topic with many of our best
citizens since they are good
customers of same and without
their patronage the black
market could not exist. but even
less popular with the B. C.'s is
the idea of probing the safety
deposit boxes. ] suggested this
once a couple Of years ago and
was heartily condemned in the
more select social circles ds a
result
1t seems that there is a lot
of best citizen money that has
been IN the dark so long il would
go blind if exposed 10 the day
light. However. even at the risk
Of mourning further displeasure
! must venture the opinion that
tho only way the guvment can
find the black market money