The Waterbury Democrat., 1945-10-12
NOTES OF A BROADWAY
 NEWSBOY

NOTES OF A BROADWAY
 NEWSBOY
 According to Jeanne Burns (the talented composer pianist at the Eslysee Monkey Bar) President Tru- man was in his study one post-mid- night when he heard the voice of Franklin Delano Roosevelt.
 "Where are you, Franklin2" asked the President. T can hear you but I can't see you"
 I'm up in heaven" was the reply. How do you know it's heavenP" countered MT. Truman.
 Tt must be heaven" answered FDR. "There are 1000 newspapers up here-and no editorials!"
 A lotta people who are still shoot ing off their mouths about FDR fOr- get that he died defending their right to keep doing 1t.
 They passed this one around the French underground while Ger many occupied France. It is appro- priate now. Tn an argument with one of his aides, Laval said: If Germany loses, I'll just put on my hat and take a plane!"
 Fine" was the retort, but where would you wear your hat?"
 Gen. MarshalFs report shows that Hitler'S mistakes lost the war for Germany. After the Allies mis- takes (appeasement) almost won it for them!
 Virginia Weidler, once kid star herself, VOWS she overheard two tots chatting about playmate on the way home from school. Said the first: "I've walked to school with her three times, carried her books, bought her ice cream sodas twice and a matted milk, too! Now do you think I oughta kiss her?"
 "No, you really don't need to, FL mer," said the other brat after deep thought. You've done enough for that girl. alreadyg"
 Gen. PattOn's explanation for keeping Nazis in power was that he was responsible for the death of as many Germans as anyone.
 Does the fact that you have killed lot of rattlesnakes excuse your permitting many others to remain a l1ienace2
 PattOn's flop as a peacetime ad- ministratOr has it's irOnies. Riding tank, he was problem to the Naxis.
 Riding a desk-he's 2 problem to Americans.
 Sinclair Lewis latest novel, "CaSs Tlmberlane," has clicked. But his career isn't all success. It might comfort aspiring scribblers to know that after Lewis submitted his ini- tial novel to publisher, the manu- script was returned with a curt note advising him to give up writing be- cause he lacked any signs of talent However, Lewis turned out six more novels. All Topped.
 The next tome he penned was Main Street"
 Zeke Manners, the radio hillbilly Gust out of the army, was engaged by local radio station to present his hillbilly program.
 He was fired after the first broad cast because the ertldite owner oi the station tuned in and heard zeke use "ain't" several times. zeke was hired by rival station where they ain't SO fussy about a hillbilly's grammar. Can you imag- inc 8 grammatical hillbilly?
 Billy Roses counsel to victims of severe colds:
 One doctor says that if you stay in bed and drink lots of water and fruit juices you may get rid of your cold in two weeks.
 Another doctor says if you have cold, go outdoors or sit in drafts and neglect 1t, you may get rid of it in 14 days.
 N Ashton Stevens, one of the sanel drama critics, acknowledged a mis- sive from George J. Nathan. Il concluded: Tn my will bequeatt my collection of letters from fam 0uS people to my dear Wl1e. They may help to keep the wolf from the door-until he marries her!"
 A reader chided us for neglectine to credit Mark Twain with classic anecdote which recently was re- vived here. Nothing is more diffi' cult than tracking down the origin ator of Q well-known quip. We have come across that story in variou! tonnes and mags-and each ont credits 1t to @ different source. Which reminds us: Every Twair hiog credits Mark with the famous line: Everybody talks about thu weather, but nobody does anything about it."
 Yet Twain didn't originate 1t. l was coined by Charles Dudley War ner, editor of The Hartford Courant
 At Q rehearsal for a "Theatre o Romance" broadcast, young acto was Sejected. Someone recalled tn time wilson Mizner was cheering ul ne0phyte.
 .sN0thing's ever perfect" reflected