The Waterbury Democrat., 1945-02-28

NOTES OF A NEWSPAPERMANl Not 90 long ago legislators &C., cused newspapermen of calling them names. Last week, the name-can- ing between Congressman Rankin and Hook melted a fist fight on the House floor That isn't the first tune solons tossed oral brick bats at each other. A few years ago an enraged Democratic legis- lator bluntly told a Repub colleague to "Ro to he'll" The Repub re- torted: That's the first time I ever received an invitation to Democra- tic headquarters!"
 Not all the story of the Rankin Hook brawl was fully reported. Just before they struck each other Cong. Hoffman of Michigan was on the floor denouncing a group in his own district that had denounced him Because they alleged Hoff- man was misuing govt funds to pass out pamphlets attacking labor unions, etc. The group in his home burg was Investigating the charges Hoffman denied using govt funds but boasted that his of- flee was used for the purpose of distributing pamphlets by Joseph Ramp, who was recently indicted via Cong. AnderSon's Investigating com mittee $. A Ramp publication was listed in the governments original sedition trial indictments as "a tool for subverSive agents!" '. Hoffman denies us0g government funds but admits tEat his office distributed the pamphlets t.. In short. his office is paid for with government funds-meaning yours and mine.
 Then there's the one about Sen. Alexander Stevens, who was the smallest man in the Senate. He weighed about 100 pounds and was about five feet tall During a heated debate Stevens taunted a six-foot legislator until the huge Senator lost his temper and roared: "Youl You! Why I could swallow you and never know I ate thing! Tiny Stevens merely retorted Tn that case you'd have more brains in your belly than you ever had in your head"
 Dorothy Parker encountered one of her feline friends at party The gal had made crack abou' ], her new book Parker greeted her icily: You don't look at all well, dear. What is wrong?"
 oh" said the other, "something's been preying on my mind for the past few days"
 well" ssasinated Parker, don't get too upset about tits prob. ably starved to death by now"
 Recently Sir Alexander KOrdS suffered a stroke at Romanoffs ii Beverly Hills Get a doctor! someone screamed :. Louella Par sons rushed out. Everyone assumed she was going to search for hei husband, Doc Martin But one o1 the cooler heads in the crowd de. cided to go to the phone and sum- mon another doctor-just i'll case. The lone phone booth was in use It was occupied by Louella- calling not Doc Martin-but the Lo Angeles Examiner, to give them tht scoopl
 The society cOlumIlist on one o the towns afternoon papers left fo' a Miami vacation The editol assigned her "veddy veddy" sub Stitute to take over ,. The thrille, sub phoned her beau excitedly tc inform him of the new job '"Torn," she said, i've just beel made society editor-and you'v' got to take me to the Stork tonight!
 What for?" queried Tom.
 T have to gather some rumors! was the reply.
 A soldier was making a pitch 10 Q gal he had just met at dance The CT spieled: T never met any one as wonderful as you are. Yo are my dream girl. You have every thing that any man could ever as for But the gal wasn't i'm pressed, stating: You know yo don't mean a word of that. Yo don't care for me"
 The soldier pleaded: "Lisser honey, wouldn't exactly go to he for you, but I'd keep fooling aroun the edges until I fell in!"
 An officer, with many ribbons o his chest, was driving a rented ca A pedestrian walking against tn lights was almost hit. The civilia started screaming his head off You soldier, you!" he scoldet Haven't you any regard for pee ple?'
 You aint hurt are you?" aSke