The Hardin tribune-herald. [volume] (Hardin, Mont.) 1925-1973, 1945-03-15
Bv NORRIS
Bell Syndicate.-WNU Feature

"VV JILL you please set
AZ tie a question for my
w husband and me-"
writes Donna Barton, from
Pasadena. 81 am %, John is
27; we have been happily mar
ried for a year and a half,
during which time my sailor
husband has been twice to the
South seas and back. Ours is
an unusual devotion; we have
no families, we live for each
other.
The trouble is that John is most
anxious for a child, and I am un-
willing to assume that responsibility
until after the war. When peace
comes he will still have another
year in medical school and the usual
intern years to face, and I am earn
ing good money as teacher in a
private school, and saving for his
education. We are young, and I be-
lieve we may reasonably look for
ward to long years ahead, when con-
ditions will be more normal, life
less Of a strain and everything
easier on us all.
This is the first difference that
has arisen between US. For, awhile
I managed to treat it as a sort of
joke; then l dropped the subject
completely. but now he is continual
ly bringing it up. The probability
is that he will soon go away again,
for the dangerous duties of a de-
stroyer's existence, and he says he
would love to feel that a baby as
well as a wife "a waiting for him
at home. Please tell mel have no
mother-if you agree with him. OF
course. I would adore my baby. 1t
would break my heart not to have
children someday, but l can't face it
now. John did not say he would
abide by your advice, but he ad-
mitted that it would influence him.
Mother" concludes this letter,
sometimes used to read your arti-
Giles aloud to US at the Sunday break
fast table when I wasn't more
than 10 years old, so please regard
me as a sort Of grandchild and
tell me if l am making a mistake"
No, I don't think you are making
a mistake, Donna, I think you r
acting wisely-that is, may I add
parenthetically, if you are using only
those precautions against mother
hood that are recognized as legiti-
mate. and l am sure you are.
'Normalizing' War.
What John is trying to do is what
so many young men and women are
rebelliously trying to do in these
dark times; he is trying to normal
ize war. 1t cannot be done. War is
like a high fever. sweeping over
the world, and persons or worlds
in a high fever must have very care
full and special treatment; everyone
of Is must make sacrifices and face
changes heroically, if we are to get
through this thing, and Johns and
your sacrifice must be made in wait
ing for the richness and glory Of
parenthood.
You cannot manage your job and
your baby, which means finan-
cial stringency for all three Of
you. The entire responsibility for the
baby would be yours, without hus-
band or mother or sister to advise
you and that is a strain to
which he has no right to expose you.
His visits home will ne brief for the
next few years. and far apart. he
will hardly know his child. He may
not return, in which case your baby
will be exposed to two possibilities.
both unfair to babyhood. One is
that you will become one Of those
doting mothers who are absorbed in
a child. spelling that child and liv-
ing for him, and eventually break
ing your heart when he grows away