The Waterbury Democrat., 1945-10-26
This Sporting 
Friday Fish and Chips!
By JOHN A. CLUNEY


 This being Friday which means fish for many, I thought it would be good idea to get off on the right foot by writing the following yarn, for the particular benefit of Al DreScher, whose taste runs to Royal Coachman, rather than BAR flies.
 Down south in the state of South Carolina, certain L. L. Bonner, clerk of the state senate of s. c. suh, owns a beach house, not as pretentious as the one in the movie, Mildred Pierce", but some kind of shack, which he likes very much. Bonner, an alert gent, spotted FTSH-HAWK diving into the water, so he grabbed his trusty JOHN ROS- COE (shotgun, to youse, Thorndyke) to shoot the bird off a light pole, where 1t had LIGHTED. (punk pun, isn't it?)
 Being little jittery and his eye- sight not too good, senate clerk Bon- ner of the state of South Carolina, suh, shot and MISSED the hawk, but he SCARED 1t so much that 1t dropped a TWO POUND BASS in Bonner's front yard.
 Imagine shooting at bird with a shotgun, and CATCHING A FISH
 Now go ahead Al, and tie THAT one, but remember the Fisherman's Prayer:
 Oh, Lord, that could catch e fish, So large, that even I,
 When telling of 1t afterward,
 Would never need to lie!
 vvvvvvvvvv
 It's a Funny World Dept: Noise, or sound, if you will, in relation to GUNS and MUSIC, are two very different things. However, Alexander Leslie, conductor of the Springfield (Mass.) Symphony Orchestra, Q young, good looking man who wears spectacles, is the new AGGREGATE CHAMPION of the United States REVOLVER Association. His com- bined total, with revolver, pistol and pocket revolver was the best in the country for 1945. He uses .3s Smith and Wesson which was made in 1902. The Phillies an alleged ma ior league baseball club, sometimes referred to by bored bird fanciers as the BLUE JAYS, have lost their prize scout, Ted McGrew, who Is going to be an exec with Indiana polls of the A :'sxt season. Man. ager Ben Chapman says his eye- sight is improving so much that he plans to be a utility outfielder next season as well as manager. Remem- Der the day he PITCHED against our B-asscos (i3-0 not too many weeks ago? Tn the far west. w. P. (Bill) Kyne means as much to horse-racing as Uncle Mike Jacobs means to boxing. Kyne, general man. ager of the Bay Meadows track has announced the opening of a new track at Portland, oregon next spring. He will be general manager and a main stockholder of the new track, with two partners, both Port- land businessmen .. Cyrus P. an alleged race. horse, has been claimed by a group of dental practitioners and will be raced in:1 condition, but with a NEW NAME. He will be en- tered in the Lakewood Park (1946) and will run under his new monicker: NOvOCAINE.
 Frank Nocera, a Bristol para trooper, who has 28 jumps to his credit in Sicily, Italy and Holland will make one more at the sky cir- GUS flying exhibitions Sunday after non at Mt. Tobe, Nocera, a stah has taken part in seven major battles, owns the Purple Heart, with Oak Leaf clusters and the combat infantrymans badge.
 Tommy Armour Rockledge golf pro in West Hartford recover ed his composure somewhat this week, when his 75 at the Spring. Held Country Club was good enough 70 defeat Henry Bontempo of Fran ,onia by NINE strokes. Last week It Armour's home course, Rockledge outscored Armour 76-77 Q win by stroke.