The Waterbury Democrat., 1944-03-11
Jesse  Looks at the NEWS

Scientists at the University of California have developed a drug they claim may be powerful enough to enable smaller people to grow. If successful 1t ought to be a boom to some Hollywood stars - giving their bodies chance to grow big enough to go with their heads!!!
 Betty Jane ValIee, 3-month bride of the popular Rudy, made a very odd comment in applying for a di- vorce. "The strange thing" she said, is that we still love each other, and I'm sure we'll continue to go to- gethCr." Guess she just married him to find out if she loved him enough to keep steady company after di- vOrcing him!!
 The City manager of Alberquer- que (N. M) has applied for meat ration points to feed the city's rats. Where we can come from if the rats don't like our food we say ITO hell with 'emw
 Meantime our Senators have tried out day of eating K-ratiOns - which proved to be just as hard to digest as a Senator eating his own words!
 An M. P. corporal called his camp (Ft. Sheridan) explaining he'd be late because he was showing his girl how to put on handcuffs and then couldn't remove them from his own hands. It could have been worse he might have gotten married.
 Japanese school teachers have been forbidden by the Japs to wear Sar0ngS at class. Guess they don't want the native kids to see any thing to look forward to!
 An American army sergeant, with & wife in Pittsburgh, just became the father of quadruplets born to another gal in England. Just shows you how far ahead that country IS in production!
 Incidentally when his wife found out about her hubby hitting the jackpot. the latter really found out why they call Pittsburgh "the Smoky City!
 A Kansas burglar wasn't too mad about being caught for stealing two suits from a dry cleaning plant. What burned him up was that one of the suits was his own. ThisIl be one time where a guy won't get a suit with two pairs of pantS-hell two pairs of pants with one suit a lawsuit.
 Mrs. La Blanc of Saugus, Maine, was hugged so hard by her son after his return from 16 months in the South Pacific, she almost won the purple heart. For he broke one of her ribs and she had to settle for 8 black-and-b'ue side.
 Today's Gripe-line: Some Beef about Gas-Others Gas about Beef.
 A friend of mine writes from Miami that he bought a delicious looking box of strawberries but the clerk wouldn't wrap them up unless he also bought a box of tomatoes. He settled by buying one tomato, eating the strawberries right there and then giving the manager the razzberries by tossing the tomato right in the puss.
 Speaking of Florida, it's Assistant State Attorney H. Frost Bailey, ex- plains how he got his middle name He was born in the middle of a freezing night while his dad was out calling for the doctor. Frost probably moved to Florida to thaw out.
 It's relief to read that Tommy Manville is recuperatlng from an operation. Y0u generally read he's recuperating from ceremony.
 4 Chicago motorist, arrested for driving past 8 Stoplight, got oil Ecott-free when he explained to to the Judge that he had just paid his income tax and was still seeing red when he got into his car and didn't notice the light. The judge dis missed the case. T know just what you mean" he said, rubbing his eyes. T just paid mine!"
 
 Navy medical reports show that