Laurel outlook., 1944-08-23
Liehts Of New York
BY L. [. STEVENSON

ing quite a time for themselves dis
cussing in French, evidently ac-
quired at some fashionable finishing
school, an oldish man seated direct
ly in front of them. AS the clumsy
vehicle snailed its way uptown
through dense midafternoon traffic,
their remarks became more and
more personal, one vying with the
other in making wisecracks and with
each remark, their merriment grow
ing. At seth street, the man arose,
dotted his hat, bowed to the two
misses and remarked: "Your accent
is so atrocious, I had the greatest
difficulty in understanding you"
With that, he handed the nearest
girl a neatly engraved card on which
was a name followed by the line,
Teacher of French" Moral: In
New York, when discussing a neigh
Dor, it's best to speak English.
Past Tense: Raymond Everett
Nelson, t~elevision show producer,
was talking about his younger days
when he was a stock company actor
in Cleveland. "Bob Hope and Pat
O'Brien were both used a sales
men in that city at the time" Nell
son said. "Hope would act as mas
ter of ceremonies at smokers and
vaudeville shows when the regulars
were ill or booked for two places
the same night. O'Brien got into
acting because his wife was interest
ed in it and he wanted to go along
for the ride as he explained it.
One night, O'Brien and 1 were play
ing in The Trial of Mary Duggan.'
The judge had a complete script
on his desk out of sight of the audi
ence of course. So whenever
O'Brien forgot his lines, he merely
shouted, 4 object and went up to
the desk and got his cue"
Top Cards: Elsa Maxwell intro
duced John Reed King, master of
ceremonies on the Double or Moth
ing" program, to DR.. Hubert King,
the distinguished cranial surgeon.
"This is just like a card game"
commented La Maxwell. "Both Of
you Kings are practically alike. You
resemble one another greatly. Your
work is dependent on the BRAIN"
"Thank you," interrupted the dim
pied John Reed. "But, much as I
hate to admit it, DR.. King is superb
or. After all, he does draw the high
er jack"
Gratitude Debt: Dick Roffman of
Hillman Periodicals forwarded this
thought: ga salute to some name
less man in the navy department
who, some years ago, decided to stop
this country from supplying helium
to Germany for use in its dirigibles,
etc. There are those who say that
the Won Hindenberg (zeppelin) new
er would have crashed in flames at
Lakehurst if we had allowed Ger
many sufficient helium for it. But
here's an important fact: When the
planes of the Allies fly owe occupied
Europe and Germany itself they are
not hampered by barrage balloons
the way our enemies are when they
try to get to Britain. Denied our
helium, Germany a use only n.y.
drogen. When q hydrogen-filled bal
loon falls, it bursts into flames and
ravages the countryside, a double
Disadvantage"
Quite Clear: One of those &C
tresses who gets by because of heI
face and figure and whose brains
are feathers, was discussing her va
cation which is due next month and
was really quite excited about the
matter since she had gathered to-
gether a wardrobe that would surely
make every male eye bug out a cou-
pie of inches. Finally she interrupt
ed her flow of eloquence, turned to
Bert Lytell and asked him what he
intended to do. |,
Because of wartime conditions"
replied Lytell, "my plans, even this =
late, are tentative" i
That's just too, too wonderful" =,
returned the dumb cluck. "I'm sure =
you will enjoy camping out more
anything else"
OllOs DOU I1dWh says success on 1
Broadway depends on two things,
luck and pluck-luck in finding some
one to pluck . Garry Moore as G
serts that the old-fashioned man who I
had a good head for figures now has i
grandson who has a great eye for I
hem . Bob Burns insists that [
he only time you'll ever see a S
3roadwayite give his girl a ring is il
when he's in a telephone booth O
Iroucho Marx claims he doesn't c
ike book ends-he uses a pair of 1
nidgets William Bendix tells a
# a movie mogul whose head is F
one foot long but never used fl
is a rule A musician in Xavier Il
orchestra was late for morn a
ng rehearsal and Cugat wanted to o
now why he had oversight, as he s.
laimed "There were eight of q
in the house this morning." was h
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