The Wilmington morning star. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1909-1990, 1944-06-13
BY WEsTBROoK PEGLER


BY WESTBROOK PEGLER
NEW YORK, The lady who is suing an
auditor of the OPA for $25, 900 on the ground
that he bruised her reputation by challeng-
ing her expense account has sounded sicken-
ing note in the revolution. It is not pleasant to
us Who by tradition and instinct, have regard
ed auditors as worthy opponents to be met
with such fair weapons Of ingenuity and high
dignity and, in some cases, with tempera-
ment. This action may be in the spirit OF the
times but ii will arouse no cheers among
journalists or ballplayers of the old school
and doubt that any veteran travelling drum
mer will wish the lady well
That is not the way the games is played
You don't try to collect for personal injuries
when a sportsman bleeds your nose in friend
ly fight.
Auditors, in their peculiar way, are not bad
Their job is to detect not larceny so much as
stupidity, and some have been known to glow
with admiration for beautiful examples OF
peculiar art If war correspondent with
Pershing's column in Mexico lost $125 in the
poker game and the item showed up as the
price of one horse shot from under him by
skulking Visslistras, the auditor might know
privately that the reporter had an expensive
curisoity and weakness for inside straights
but pass it, nevertheless. But If the correspon-
dent had two bad nights and charged $3.50 for
the horse, the auditor was justified in faulting
him for sheer laziness. He should have had the
energy and personal pride to split it up into
two entries, accompanied by Receipts, Of $125
each, separated by several other items and
dates, such as mess bill, May to is, $780,
News tips from Mexican peons $35, May II,
and share Of cost of presentation sword for
Captain Patton, May IA. $40. An auditor has
right to demand little plausibility.
L. L..L
vary according to circumstances beyond their
control. If the paper is frugal, the people know
it and reckon their expense accounts accord
1ngly rich and extravagant paper has
another set of values and higher expense ac-
counts, although the two men may share the
same room and the same taxi and both patro-
nze the same Chile parlor for their meals.
AS young reporter in Iowa very
economical paper, I got away with murder
on an assignment OF hamlet called Cam
bridge, where a little boy was reported to
have been murdered by neighbor through the
cruel and unusual device of stuffing him down
a post-hole. The fare was only 80 cents, fixed
by law, and subject to no liberties but I
belted them good with rs cents for a room
overnight and SIPS for dinner and breakfast
The farmer who found the little boy in the
hole put me up a sofa in the parlor and
fed me night and morning because I honestly
assured him we would ornt picture of him
in his wedding suit The SIPS for meals really
amounted to $3.50 for 1 would have spent that
much anyway had remained in town. How
ever, we didn't print the picutre because the
little boy hadn't been showed down the hole
at all, the dirty little liar. He climbed down,
himself, and couldn't get out and there was
nothing wrong with him that couldn't be fixed
| by good licking. So the story made up to
rtthing more than a little item back among
the electric belts and and golfers. That farmer
and his family probably believe to this day
that our press is utterly untrustworthy.
| For ironic contrast many years later, a
city editor whose name will ever be re-
vered, wired me $500 in Miami and babe me
gamble illicity and write fearless denuncia-
ton of wantonness in prohibition state. For
two nights fortune Knocked me and ran the
$500 up to $780, and won even at the slot
machines Meanwhile, however, champagne at
$24 tottle and caviar, and burning cherries
in candy liquor at So an issue, plus converts at
IS each for self and party the stilted
expense account phrase has it; helped toward
balance And then really did get caught
in Tie spokes and disposed of the nest egg
with elegant grace. But it was an ordeal.
Had WOE thousand dollars, the auditor
might have been pleased, but the city editor
had been a reporter, himself, and he still
| resrect1d the fine old manners ana customs
OF the craft.
i never saw a Floyd Gibbons expense &C.
count but an original Gibbons would be suit
sble for framing, for Floyd had grandeur.
4 His uniforms were beautiful. his feathers
lar,stocratic and where another man might have
hired Model II or camel to cross the
sahara Floyd organized a caravan. Where
others telescoped phrases into frugal aibber;sh
i FIoyd expanded, using the's," and $. and