The Waterbury Democrat., 1944-05-15
Jesse
Looks at
the NEWS

A fashion reporter d1ScloSeS that
Joan Crawford and her husband are
wearing suits of the same material.
Which is unusual because the only
suits generally shared by Hollywood
couples are divorce suits-particu-
larry when they can prove there was
an extra pair of pants In the suite.
Baby production has risen much
faster than infants wear production
these last few years. Proving, am
agine, that maternity Is an essential
industry. Without 1t there'd be no
warn. 80.
Incidentally that reminds me Of
! the old French Proverb: Maternity
Is matter Of fact-Paternity Is a
matter Of opinionl
In Pueblo, Colorado, they ran
frog Jumping. contest between
Dewey, Strasser, Bricker, Warren,
Macarthur and Willkie. Dewey won,
which is odd considering that Will
kie did all Of. his campaigning with
. frog In his mouth!
Col. william Menninger, chief of
the Surgeon Generals Neuropsychi-
airy Division, reports that from 80
to 40 per cent of Battle Neurosis
cases are being cured in two days
time. The formula will come in
handy when Wall street blooms
again
Sign in q U. S. Air Base in Eng
land: "Visits to Berlin Promptly Ar
ranged FREE-while the city lasts.
1 For Travel information to Toxic,
consult our Main Office!"
A black marketeer was fined by
Judge Peter A. Abeles in New York
this week for dealing in black mar
ket onions. your transactions smell
to high heaven" the Judge COM
mented as he cried from cycling the
evidence.
Hitler and Hirohit0 celebrated
their birthdays within q fortnight
Of each other. We're now busy try
ing to help free men celebrate the
demise Of both within q similar
short space Of time. -.
Yank is printing French lessons
for its soldier-subscribers. But
wives at home don't like the idea
for the first phrase the soldiers were
taught was my wife doesn't under
stand mel"
Lieut.. Pat DiCiccO was flattened
twice by an anonymous Texan when
Di Coco threatened to beat up Lee
Mortimer, Mirror cOlumnist. Seems
he resented once being referred to
a as "an assistant wolf" to Howard
Hughes. "An assistant wolf sup
pose, being one who hasn't OF a
scent to his name. And after all
: Pats married to Gloria Vanderbilt!
Joe Z. Lewis, items Louis Sobel,
stopped a femme heckler in the
same Copacabana Club. II hope"
he interrupted, "she lives to be as
old as she looks"
They're telling this one about Jap
Admiral Mineichi KOga who just
died the same sort Of "herO's death"
that Admiral YamatOto did. When
tine Jap fleet got its last pasting
around It made Koga feel sick. do
you know what Is wrong, d0ctOr?"
he asked. You've got nothing TO
VERY about" was the consider,
"weW give you q complete diagnosis
after the autopsy"
Insurance companies now insure
son against your wife having twins
The premium Is 5 per cent or the
odds 20 10 I. At least you know the
jockey Is honesti
The late Seey Kn0x's favOrite
nuote was one Matched up by Ad-
niiFaI Moffett; "A seeond-best Navy
Il Hike . second-best hand In poker
-~WeTthiess when called"
So prolific are white rats, that a
sturdy pair Of them can become the
ancestors Of 100000 rats In only
years. For further proof study
Maxi vital statistics. -.
One local wolf. commenting on the
forthcoming Enlistment Campaign
fur WACE, says he's xery patriotic
he joins me WAcs every chance