The Wilmington morning star. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1909-1990, 1944-12-05

ers His articles serve the good purpose
of making people Think
BY WEsTBROOK PEGLER
DOWNRIGHT 1914, by King Features Syndicate)
NEW YORK-It was bad enough when
Charlie Dissenat's old lady moves in to help
hin, manage the ball-club and brings in Pro-
fessol Vicente from Harvard and Boris Pant
zoff, the Bulgarian economist and the study
Jerks from the thinking academy, but the next
wear it was even worse
That was the year old Vicente said no more
yellow dog contracts between the front office
and the individual players and hereafter
cot collective bargaining and SO there is just
one contract for all of us. Vicente and the
Jerks and the female race they got up meet
ine and voted to elect him for ou1 bargaining
agent and although, of course, all the regular
ball-players, we all voted against the Idea,
whv tney all yelled maj GRITTY rules in denoc-
racy so we couldn't do nothing about it.
| So. instead of getting a contract in the mail
along about Christmas. and I figured l was
due for little raise because, after all, tired
real haro the year before, well, instead 1 just
got notice from Vicente and it turns out
am cut s.. 900 year and everybody gets the
same salary, including the jerks and the femi-
nine sex The female first baseman from
Smiths college gets the same as me and it
don't make no difference whether you hit $40
or YOU didn't get sinking little foul all year
tie year before, it's democracy and nobody
gets any more than the next guy Willy Didden
was high in his prime then and with any regu-
lar kir.d of club he would have won at least
IS games with an earned run record of some
thing like practically nothing at all, but he
gets just the same as the jerks.
We were practically crazy, anyway, by then,
but when Vicente told us the had news by mail
a few Ct us got together in Hot Springs to
study out the new working conditions in the
collective bargaining and nobody got sober I'M
til the first of February.
In the collective bargaining it says that here
after runs are not going to be called runs any
more because rurs sound like the speed-up
system so hereafter we are going to call
them walks And no more doubles, triples or
home runs because that way you kill the job
for the next hitter and, anyway, it isn't fair to
the weak hitters.
"Please observe that it is against the union
rule. to take more than one base on any hit
Vicente wrote in his form-letter, land anyone
who does so will be tried charge of
union-like conduct and fined $500 for the first
otfense. Repeated violations will be cause for
expulsion from the union and dismissal from
the job. The pernicious practise of stretching
hits represents the exploitation of the masses
by the bosses and makes the weak hitters look
bad II is our aim to establish firm standards
and create jobs for as many possible and
hereafter when player has got two hits in one
game he will be taken out of the lineup to
guard against over reproduction.
Remember, the home run is ar invention of
the bosses to set the working masses against
each other and cause jealousy and under
mine our solidarity
Mrs. Dissenat was already at the camp when
we showed up for spring training and all the
female sex from all the different groups and
Vicente and Boris and the jerks were holding
discussions about how to bring more democ
racy into baseball so the punks can have an
equal chance.
Some of u.s. the old lady said, I'VE are
blessed with greater ability than others we
must guard against inequality and provide JUS
tice fer all If Mr. Deezanose, here, hits home
run he gets credit for four bases while some
less fortunate player is unable to strike the
baseball with the bat at all, even though he
tries just as hard"
'B,t madam I said what about the ques
ton Of intent, because last year when old
Weenle was umpirng our games he used to
often give one of the jerks credit for a home
run if the jerk notified him beforehand that it
was his intent to hit home run even if he
didn't get the stick off his shoulder. Don't you
remember, when some Jerk would go down on
three called strikes, Vicente would yell home
rum because he intented to hit one over the
he came to the plate?'
Yes Mrs. Dissenat sad "but that was
last year and if one does not progress one goes
backward because life is dynamic and SO this
year we will still give credit for intent but only
for singles. So if one of the study jerks, as I
think you call them, or one of the members of
The female race, declares intent to single over
second and strikes out, intent will govern as
usual AnG don't forget the taffy pull and dis
| cussion hour tonight under the auspices OF the
world council for democratic cooperation and
racial and economic equality at the headquar-
ters of the society for the promotion OF better
Understandings )
I don't know whether you can actually put
yourself in our place because we were all base
ball men for years and then poor old Mike died,
may be rest in peace; and the from Office hires
Charlie Dissenat and then the old lady horns In
with Vicente and Boris and the jerks and all.
After that we didn't even know our way to
| first base because she turned it around and
if YOU we're a right handler you could run to
third and that was first. And now, instead of
trying as hard as you can, you have TO play as
bad as you can so the employers won't make
too much dough off your efforts ana the BUNS
get the same pay as another Ruth or Di
Maggie.
Tt works in the factories" Vicente said
land we have got to make it work here IN our
wondt rful national game. And we WILL make it
work, although it may be necessary to get rid
Of some reactionary rat, scab, finks who do not
have enough social consciousness ana democ-