Evening star., 1944-01-11

Dear Miss Dix: What is your
opinion Of a father who bears a
grudge against his child whose
mother died when he was born?
Does the fact that the father was
terribly hurt when she passed away
justify his feeling towards his child?
The father is not actually unkind
to the boy. He doesn't beat him or
abuse him or anything like that.
He just never shows him the Slight
est affection: never has him with
him if he can possibly avoid it, and
makes the child feel that he blames
him in some way for the mothers
death and that he just can't bear
to be with him. The boy, who is now
Of school age, is very sensitive
little fellow, and he feels his fathers
attitude keenly. He has the saddest
face you ever saw. Nothing gay and
boyish about him.
Is there anything that might pos
sibly change the fathers attitude
toward the kid? Will the father
always harbor grudge against him?
Or is it perfectly natural for the
father to feel the way he does about
the boy? ONE WHO CARES.
Answer think it is very alb
normal for the father to take the
attitude he does toward his little
innocent child, and that he should
have the strength of will to snap out
of the morbid state of mind that he
has permitted himself to get into,
and try to atone to the lad for the
wrong he has already done him and
that will become irreparable if he
lets matters drift along as they are
now.
For these are the formative years
of the child's life. the time when its
| habits of thought are formed, the
time when every impression sinks
deepest. And if he let's the boy feel
now that he is unloved unwanted,
that even his own father hates him,
he will give him an inferiority COM
plex that he will never be able to
overcome.
Being man Of intelligence, 1t Is
incomprehensible that the father
does not see the situation in its true
light-that the boy was in no way
responsible for his mother dying
when he was born; that only He
who holds life and death in His
hands knows why such tragedies
happen, but the fact that the child
was left motherless doubles the
fathers responsibility to him and
he has no right to shirk it.
Also, the father must know that
if it is possible for the dead to know
what is happening in this world that
he is dimming the glory of Heaven
itself for his wife by the way he is
treating the boy. She could not
rest in peace if she saw the face
of her little sad, neglected, doubly
orphaned child.
1t is pitiful that the father cannot
bring himself to see that the cure
for his grief lies in his giving to his
little son all the love of which he
is capable. in making him a friend
and companion, and in finding a re-
neWed interest in life in watching
and developing the boys mind and
character and making him the sort
Of man his mother would have
wished him to be.
No hands have the healing for a
hurt heart that little child's have.
Dear Miss Dix: Up until about
two months ago I thought I would
never meet man whom I would
want to marry Then I met him
and discovered that love is not only
wonderful but miserable as we'll.
For the man love does not love
me, and I made the big mistake of
letting him know how very much
he meant to me. I know that he is
the only one for me, but I am afraid
that I have lost him forever.
Has there ever been a way in the
world for a woman to make a man
love her? LIN
AnsWer-If there is such a recipe,
1 have never heard of it. There are
plenty of ways in which a woman