davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-09-18

as somewhat peculiar. II not OBJ
scure. I asked Mr.. Jones II he
would care TO elaborate.
ut II this way" he said. TT
seems that any ono who gets
into any kind Of controversy in
my state Of Texas automatically
becomes one of my nephews. IL
does not seem to matter which
side he In on: I win him as
relative.
when George Butler became
leader OF the anti-Roosevelt
forces In Texas he was immedi-
ately Identified as my nephew.
Now I see they are saying that
Herman Jones, who IL heading
up the pro-Roosevelt forces, is
another Of the same"
you mean" I demanded
that they are not your neph-
ews: never questioned II"
II will state unequivocally,"
said Secretary Jones. that
Herman Jones IL not nv
nephew. And George Butler il
not really my nephew. He Just
sort or married my niece"
Just sort OF married your
niece" ! exclaimed. "Do You
mean he didn't actually marry
her:"
"All right. II you want TO
get technical. he did marry
her." said Mr.. Jones. But he
Is only q nephew through ac-
quisition.
I'm fact, I have only one real
nephew--and there IL no chance
Of him getting into Texas poll
tics this election. He Is in a
German prison camp"
Secretary Jones only blood
nephew is 1t. John T. Jones Jr.
of Houston. He was captured IN
Rommel's big drive in north
Africa on Feb. II. 1943.
He sends very encouraging
letters" added the secretary.
"He seems to he all right"
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-09-18
WALTER WINCHELL p,o On

Ilene Woods. Paul Whiteman's
find. romps off 10 a great start:
A 13-week contract at Versailles
Ann Sheridan's counsel 10
the girls going overseas as
USOldiers: Wear 'em short"
Latest in code for mushy
kilograms. 1t is one word:
"Rily"-meaning Remember !
Love You"
NEW YORK Novelette,; When
~ her husband lived he was
generous with people he liked.
Among his favorites was a girl
his wife never knew existed
One day the doll was in distress
She got word to him that
she didn't know where 10 turn
for money He wrote out a
check TO one of his best male
friends for $500 -. And in
structed him TO see that she got
the coin after the pal cashed
the check He told his wife
il was a loan Shortly after,
the good guy" died His
widow not only refuses TO talk
10 the pal-but goes around
town panning him to everybody
The louise" she says. MY
husband once loaned him $500
and he's never paid ii back"
CIGNS OF the Times: Adver-
- tisement on 125th street
dance joynt: Good clean dane
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-09-18

I'm her fine novel, Madame
Claire" Susan Ertz says few
men fall in love with their eyes
open. but that few women fall
in love except with their eyes
open. She thinks men preserve
their blind. romantic illusions
about women much longer and
more deeply than women do
about men. Intelligent women.
she thinks, know they let them
selves in for far more than men
do when the let 60 and tumble
into love. Women tend 10 ana
lyze the situation and see what
they are going 10 get out of II,
ACCORDING 10 Mai. Gen.
Frederick Osborn. director of
the moral services division Of
our armed forces. yes.
3-No. You cannot see your
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-09-18

1.-The epidernis. The derrnis
lies beneath II and under
that the simultaneous fatty
tissue.
2-(a) New Mexico. Oklahoma.
Arkansas and Louisiana:
(b) Minnesota, Iowa, Illinois
and Michigan.
BIN 1866 A. D.. when William
the Conqueror successfully
invaded England.
4-Senator Charles II. McNary
Of Oregon was the Repub-
lican vice presidential candi-
date In 1910.
5-Myopia Is nearsightedness,
hyperopia Is farsightedness.
6-Overexposure to the sun. II
mother wants to keep her
face looking young, she
should resurrect grandmA's
parasol.
THE Eroica. This Is Sym
phoney No. 3 in E Flat.
8-Straight flush, four of q
kind. full house. flush,
straight, three of a kind,
two pairs. one pair.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-09-18
THESE DAYS

In ALL the current discussion
Il of policing the world, little Is
being said about who is going to
watch the cops.
AS the picture scantily ex-
poses itself at Dumbarton Cakes
the scheme seems to be for the
United States, Great Britain
and Soviet Russia TO combine
for or against the rest Of man.
kind with the object OF main
tanning whatever status quo
they manage TO establish at the
end of this war.
Objective enemies keep chang
ing. as any one who has read
history knows.
For many centuries the OBJ
jective enemy of Great Britain
was France and then Russia.
Prior TO that is was Spain;
now it is Germany.
Who knows what il will be a
quarter of a century hence?
Yet, serious-minded men sit
about a council table and plan
to jell international relation
ships which are even more tickle
than human relationships.
FURTHERMORE, we do not
Il know what these planners of
eternal peace propose TO do with
peoples who intend TO regain
their liberties after the trium-
virate has deprived them not
only Of their traditional lands
but of their traditional hopes
and aspirations.
If this country is to be a
world policeman, our people
ought 10 know something about
what they are undertaking
For instance. suppose the
people OF India. Burma, and the
Malay states want TO run their
own countries. b d y as they
may do IT. is the United States
TO participate in forcing them to
remain British colonies?
Or. If the Javanese and Bali
neSe want 10 be free from Hol-
land. are we 10 say them nay?
Or If the people of the Congo
believe in national liberty. are
we 10 tell them to be Belgians
Or if the Arabs Of north
Africa 60 nationalistic, are we
10 tell them that they must be
French, British or perhaps even
Spanish and Italian?
Or il the Jews desire 10 set up
national commonwealth in
Palestine in conformity with the
Republican and Dem ocr attic
platforms, are we TO order them
10 give up a Goodyear hope and
10 do as the Arabs desire?
COMEBODY ought 10 tell US
~ what is meant by policing
the world.
If the idea Is limited to keep
ing Germany or Japan from
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-09-18
By George E.
Sokolsky

fighting again or, to put it more
succinctly, to save us from again
putting up our sons and our
money to try to settle the az
fairs of Europe and Asia, that
might be a proposition that
should be looked into carefully
for what 1t is worth.
But II policing the world
means holding the entire human
race in thrall to three great
powers, then Americans will
probably decide TO have nothing
TO do with il. because this coun-
try wants no people enslaved to
II, not even the Filipinos. the
Puerto Ricans or any other
people.
This country still stands for
liberty and freedom.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-09-18
BETTER HEALTH

other ways, Or. Frank Howard
Richardson OF Brooklyn, writes:
EhOST doctors. II asked
Ava whether fried foods are
harmful for children and should
therefore he forbidden, would
unhesitatingly reply Eyes"
Further. they would feel conf
dent that they were on sound
scientific ground In making this
assertion. Yet doctors have
fried foods at their own family
tables. Even though they may
specify broiling for patients
diets, they know that in most
homes II IL the frying pan and
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-09-18
Air
Power

that flying IL in its primitive
stages and that the chance for
the new generation to contrib
ute 10 its development Is limit
less.
ME MAY be sure that a NIL
hon American boys are to-
day playing with jet propulsion
models and rocket ideas and
that among them. here and
there, are the germs Of inven-
ton and development that may
be vital for their country.
Within the limits of security
these boys. and our people as q
whole. should be provided with
accurate and timely information.
Furthermore, the history Of
science shows that great many
remarkable inventions and i'm
provements have often come
from amateurs because they
approach the problem from an
entirely fresh and different
angle which would have seemed
illogical to the scientific mind.
Our future air power will
consist not merely of aircraft
but of better aircraft and an
immense chronological reservoir
of skill, knowledge and apti-
tude.
These need to be encouraged,
not squelched.
It is not at all a question Of
satisfying curiosity. TIL GU g h
technical curiosity is a healthy
thing for a country In this
chronological age.
It Is question OF lifting the
level OF information and UNDER
standing on chronological mat
tiers for the whole American
people.
Officials who withhold fnfor-
nation without adequate reason
retard and depress that level.
Distributed by Mcknight Syndicate. Inc.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-09-18
WASHINGTON Scene
By George Dixon

| RAN into Secretary Of Com
Il MERGE Jesse Jones yesterday
for the first time since his i'll
ness and learned he is suffering
from a new complaint. His cur
rent affection. he confided, is an
overactive theory of relatively.
l was very glad 10 see Secre-
tary Jones because he is a good
man TO cultivate. You never
know when you may want 10
borrow $50. 900, 100000 from his
Reconstruction Finance Corp.
by putting up your old mus
tache cup as collateral.
How are things?" I asked,
thinking up the question on the
spur of the second.
Not so good" grunted Sec
rotary Jones. II am having too
many nephews this season"
Well. this answer struck me
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-09-18

ing every night but Sunday!
Sign outside a night spot:
Ten Gorgeous Girls, Nine Beau
tiful Costumes" Placard In
a shoe store: Don't Commit
Shoe-cide" In the window
Of a Blocker street bakery
store: CLOSED. My Boy Was
Killed in Italy" The appro-
pirate announcement on the
World eater, West 49th
street: "World-Closed for AL
terations"
COUNDS in the Night: In
~ Ruby Foo's Den: She has
bedroomph eyes" At the
Onyx: shes publicity crazy, All
she wants outta Life is the
front cover" :. At the Madison
bar: Her mother is very strict.
II she isn't home by 1o-she
rents out her room" In
Reuben's: Many a man has
left the straight and narrow for
a few exciting curves. F."
A CALIFORNIAN says he
"A has a 1907 Franklin auto
mobile that after 81 years of
hard service is still going strong
and is capable Of 40 miles an
hour man Of science
claims you get more vitamin c
out Of an orange If you eat II
than II you take 1t in the form
of orange juice.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-09-18

DEOPLE toss phrases such as
i Fried foods are hard TO
digest"-around with great non
chalance considering that human
digestion is far more important
problem than postwar recon-
struction. But il is difficult to
pin us high grade scientists down
10 just what is meant by hard
TO digest"
The stomach and the pantreas
are pretty hard-boiled old par
They can digest bone button.
On the ancient debate as TO
whether fried foods are less di-
gesuble than foods cooked in
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-09-18

TT Is the custom Of the resi-
i dents OF Dade County. Flor
ida. 10 plant their avocado trees
where passersby may reach out
and spear an avocado Without
inconveniencing themselves. II
you should visit the headquar-
tiers of my hermit business on
Hibiscus Island you will observe
that the avocado trees are so
planted.
With them are orange and
grapefruit trees because when
| first took up hermiting IN
Dade County | had never before
observed the avocado except in
company with slices Of the cit
rus fruits named and thought
1t necessary for the FUCKERS Of
my avocados 10 also have
oranges or grapefruit.
Afterwards the Chamber OF
Commerce Of Hibiscus Island
informed me that / was over
dong the thing d little and that
the avocados alone were Suffi-
Gent evidence OF southern hos
pItallty. but ! was then IN too
deep 10 back out. so | put out
pots Of salad dressing and i'm
mediately received a complaint
from a lady visitor from Scran-
ton. Pa. that II carried too
much olive oil.
Now l am telling you ali this
10 show you that avocados mean
nothing 10 me. Therefore when
I introduce the subject of the
rifllng OF the avocado tree on
the premises of the Sub-her-
mitage in Hplmhy Hills away
out in Los Angeles. you will
please understand that II is not
in the spirit Of complaint 1t is
rather an expression Of my utter
astonishment that persons any
where deem II necessary 10 sur
reptitiously sneeze avocados.
FIRST took note OF the tree
Il in question some time ago
when II was heavily laden be-
cause / distinctly recall think
ing 10 myself, my goodness, but
Miss Gertrude Nielsen has sure
got avocados, Miss Nielsen. the
musical star, being my Holmby
Hills landlady, as I have al
ready explained 10 you. and
therefore owner of the tree.
The next time I looked. which
was weeks later as l am not a
fellow who makes a practice OF
going around regularly peering
at avocados. the tree was as
naked as a jaybird I recall l
again did some thinking to my
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-09-18

after their was any excuse or
reason for concealment.
This sort OF thing, IL seems TO
me, is not merely senseless but
positively harmful.
Popular understanding OF an
enthusiasm for technical prog
ress are essential to a nations
leadership in this domain.
It Is vital that the public mind
be geared TO the new techno-
logical facts.
IN AN epoch which will be
L dominated by air power,
whether in civilian or military
life. America has every right to
take its place in the forefront.
But that cannot be done
through handful Of specialists
and experts.
The entire population must
participate, il only through it's
keen interest and exact knowl-
edge of things aeronautical.
In England, when the era of
sea power was at its height,
every Englishman was a sailor,
phychologically, even if he never
went to sea.
Here, similarly, every Ameri-
can must be an airman. even IL
he never goes into the sky.
Our youth has the sense OF
this fact and is most eager TO
keep up with developments.
It's imagination has been
stirred.
To deny Il sustenance by I'M
justified censorship is mischiev.
Gus.
In going through the country
I am pelted with questions by
youngsters.
They have an instinct for avi-
alton, a feeling for its horizon.
For a while young people
wondered whether the aviation
story had been told, whether the
pioneering period was in the
past.
The advent Of rocket and jet
propulsion has ended all doubt
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-09-18
Detroit Times Rationing Timetable

SHOTS
AirniAne stamps and 1-VAii indei.
llitely
PROCESSED FOODS
Blue IA through L-s-Valid, ind-h-
nifeiy nm
MATS CHEESE FATS
Red "A through G-s-Vslic infennitely
one N salvats fat rood for cents
and two meat ration points
SUGAR
stamps 10 n, n and m Book A.
Valid indenni'eig
stamp 40. No q Book-s lbs Tor can.
ninF though FEB rs 1915
Spare stamp ~, No Book-VAlid
for maximum 81 30 lbs for canning
Apply local board.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-09-18
On the
Side \

AT THE Fort Meade Md
~ post exchange a l4-ounce
glass of beer is being sold for a
nickel Following advertise
n1ent recently appeared in the
Help Wanted" section Of the
Honolulu Advertiser: Wanted:
Clothes presser. Salary $500
per month" >. The British Red
Cross Society's 1943 report
states that one Arthur Francis
Leslie gave 100 blood trsnsfu-
sions which produced 81 pints
of blood.
81 $ FOR famous vegetari-
"A ans how about George
Bernard Shaw. Barnarr Mac
Fadden. GaylOr Hauser and
Greta Garbo?" writes a Bos-
tonian. Maybe the first three
named can be so classed, but
Greta Carlo is no vegetarian.
Her faporite dish is liver and
onions Is suggested the
heroic dogs who served with
our armed forces be given life
time licenses" as a reward. Ri
diculous. That would just
benefit the owner. I say give
the dogs a pension sufficiently
large to permit them to be sup
piled with choice meat and
super duper bones for the rest
of their lives.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-09-18
GASOLINE

GASOLINE
A Coupon 10 gallons valid 'hrou-h
sept al
Coupon 49, gallons valid '.o~
sept ~ thf0ush Dec ~
B-1 and CD Coupons-S Falions e'-n
IA and Ca Coupons gallons each
Law requires state name and license
number be written on every couI.u
Vnen received
FUEL OIL
Period end Period s-Naud iu.
definitely
Period I--vsnd through sept. 30. ia4s.
LIQUOR
Nc. it-Vslid through SEPT 80
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-09-18
WE in the United States have
Wv no reason. however. TO


smile at such lack Of logic.
We. too. are being kept In
ignorance Of the precise nature
OF the robot plane. Is it the
latest aspect of a policy Of en-
forced ignorance?
Details about radar and other
electronic devices which were
completely known TO our en-
emies-some Of them matters OF
common knowledge and open
discussion in our technical cir
cles-were kept for years from
the general American public.
Certain gyroscopic and navi-
gational instruments that the
enemy possesses anyhow have
been shrouded in darkness so
far as the average American is
concerned.
Various enemy devices which
have fallen into our hands have
been held as state secrets long
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-09-18
Connolly Answers

I--(b. 2-tc). 3-(A. A.
(a). 5-(b). 6Ata) a good
rat: tb) mice will play;
tcl In the well: Id on q
king; (e) on its feet.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-09-18

MEMOS of a Midnighter: Now
4'l they tell you Cary Grant is
still madly in love with Barbara
Hutton-and that with all her
millions-she will seek alimony
Mrs. Jack Benny says she
wishes the enceinte rumor was
true Vaughn Monroe re-
sumes at the Commodore on the
18th -. Fred Allen told Mrs.
Jack Haley she should use this
sign on her beauty salon; DON'T
whistle at a girl leaving here
she may be your grandmother"
It's a girl for the Frank
Kanes The Somerset Hotel
(where the beginners used 10
live on w. 47th street, and the
Palace Theater, where they
played, will be the site Of RKO's
postwar super theater The
Libraries of n. Y public schools
are removing a certain mag be-
cause of its peculiar slant Z.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-09-18

(AbOve IL from our Horses &
Women file No. 28B, In the
"What a Young Man Should
Know" secti0n.)
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-09-18

THE Orchid Garden: The way
L the 3 Suns sing the lovely
lit: Twilight Time" on the
luke machines. Beautiful mis-
ery-music Nancy hollands
clever song lyrics at the Monkey
Bar in Hotel Elysee Phil
Brito's platter: Il Don't Want
to Love You" Hal Winters
vocals at Havana Madrid
Jean Arthur in Columbia's The
Impatient Years.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-09-18
II. v. DURLING

IT'S peH 10 be merry and ioiss,
IT'S yell TO be honest and true;
IT'S yell TO be of Nth old lore
Before you are on Nth the nsio.
&C. r. Maturn.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-09-18

: By Damon RunYon-

self. ! thought hell's bells but
Miss Nelson's avocados have
sure dwindled- also thought
10 yself, what kind Of
country is this, anyway where
they snsbble avocados. and what
for
IF ANYBODY had come up 10
L me and said please. may
have those aVocados ] would
have said vaya con dos and
take the doggone things before
those danes IN the house get
hip TO them and start Slapplng
them on the table with lettuce
around them. II ! had given
thought 10 Miss Nelson's owner
ship al all II would have been
that her absence in New York
precluded the possibility Of i'm
mediate decision by her on the
request and delay incurred the
danger of the sucker asking for
the avocados changing his mind
You can now perhaps under
stand my flabbergaStation over
the highjacking Of the avocados.
II the person or persons in
volved will come forward ] can
show them how We can all get
rich as l will take him. her or
them, 10 Florida and exhibit
them 20 the public as avocado
thieves. II we can convince
those F1oridans that the exhibits
really stole avocados we will
draw bigger crowds than any
freaks IN history.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-09-18
By DR.. Logan
Ciendening

not tho br0iling flame that Will
DO employed for cooking them.
1T has been my custom TO
forbid fried foods to children.
ever since began practice. But
believe that any conviction Is
open to question and should he
discarded II disproved. Espe-
ciaily with our wartime short
ages IL 10 desirable to be sure
Of the soundness of our dietary
beliefs. -
There seems Ia be one pub
lished piece Of experimental re-
search on the subject of fried
foods and their effects upon d.
gestion Borgess. and Ivy -.
The following are excerpts from
their work.
1--WE have devised expert
ments to prove whether fried
foods are moro or less easily
digested than other foods
Potatoes were chosen because of
their universal use, low fat con-
tent, simple composition, and
ease of uniform preparation
They summarize their labor
atory experiments thus:
"'The starch Of the pan-fried
IL more easily digested than that
Of the French fried, more easily
than that OF the broiled potato"
So. according 10 experimental
research. even for children there
is nothing harmful in properly
fried foods.
DROPERLY. however, is an
L important word.
I wish that nutritionists would
be trained in the extremely sci
entific courses on food 10 which
they are subjected, 10 learn as
much about cooking and prepar-
ing food as they do about cal
cries and vitanins.
Miss Susie Nilsson, the most
eminent American expert on
frying. tells me:
Tho right way Is TO heat the
skillet first, then put in the fat.
When II IL very hot put in the
article TO be fried. Let the out
side be scared TO hold the juices,
and then take the skillet off the
fire. let IL cool bit, then put
IL back on the stove and let IL
simmer.
The wrong way IL TO put fat
In cold skillet with the food
and let II all come 10 bubble
together"
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-09-18

AN ASTONISHING number
"A of people really thought
the war was going 10 end Sept.
z, 1914. at 2 o'clock. That was
because of a prediction widely
broadcast This prediction was
figured as follows: When you
add the year of birth, the pres
ent age, years in office and
year of taking office of Church
Ill, Hitler and Roosevelt the
total in each case is 1888. This
was divided by two given 1914.
Then the 1914 was divided by
two. giving 972. So it was then
figured by the originator of this
prediction that the war would
end in 1914, the ninth month,
the seventh day at 2 o'clock.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-09-18

own faults. because it is almost
impossible to set yourself of to
one side and take a good look at
the picture. You see il through
your emotions-fears, inferiori-
tiles and egotisms. You thus get
so mixed. you don't know
where you're at" But when
looking az others. you can see
them rather accurately as they
are.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-09-18

WHAT follows is an excerpt
w from an article on the Ger
man general staff in the London
News-Review:
Half of the German general
staff IL still Prussian. Many
members boast Of noble birth.
The spirit OF Prussia Is bred into
all OF them. They wear mon
ocles 10 train themselves to con-
troll facial muscles. They live
and die for war and they know
how to die. They are the orig
inal icy-eyed men who like to
get what they want"
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-09-18
MAJOR DE SEYERSKY

THAT fine British aviation
L magazine, Flight, leads off
a recent issue with some acid
remarks about The Official
Mind especially as II oper-
ates in the matter OF censor
ship.
Flight fails to comprehend.
in particular. the reasons for
the continuing secrecy on the
flying bomb or robot airplane.
It's efforts to publish "a detailed
illustrated description by men
who thoroughly understand the
subject of jet propulsion" has
been stynied by official objec-
ton.
This is strange when the en-
envy certainly knows all about
its own weapons anyhow. The
only phase the Germans might
not know-'how the air tor
pedoes behave when they get
therer-has been frankly dis
cussed by the minister Of Sc
curity. There seems 10 be no
logic in the secrecy-only regu-
lation.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-09-18

COMEBODY ought 10 tell US
~ what is meant by policing
the world.
If the idea Is limited to keep
ing Germany or japan from