The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1944-01-28
COMMANDO GIRL


break through heavy obstacles,
wrestle, fight and do ranger work"
News item.)
81 have come to ask for your
daughters hand" announced the
young man.
"This is rather surprising" said
the girls father. "Are you sure you
love her?"
II loved her the first time / saw
her 60 over an 18-foot WALL"
-
Sand are you sure she returns this
lover"
Eyes, sir. Yesterday as she was
about to dive headfirst through a
sheet of plate glass asked her if
she would marry me, and I heard
her answer distinctly above the
crash"
i"How long has this been going
on?"
"Diving through plate glass?"
mo, no. This romance!"
''Not very long, sir. l met your
daughter while 1 was bracing some
oak trees. She came tearing along
in that effective way Of hers and
felled them with a quick shoulder
movement. complimented her
and one word led to another. / saw
her again a few days later ripping
planks out of a drawbridge."
"And them"
'Well, we had lunch few nights
later, just after she had won three
stars for shoeing a horse standing
on one Leg"
''The horse?"
''No, your daughter. That night
she told me all about herself :.
the time she went through three
barbed wire fences in two minutes,
eleven seconds the day she
swan the Hudson towing a coal
barge and the occasion when
she and another little girl knocked
a hole in an armored car with bare
fists. She's so wonderful, sir!''
''It's strange that she hasn't told
her mother or me Of this attach
ment."
swell, she's been awfully preoccu-
pied lately. She's concentrating on
a new technique for scaling cliffs in
wet clothes, carrying $50 pounds Of
unnecessary luggage"
"Ahem. / see. Now suppose
consent. Do you think this will
make a happy marriage?"
ooh, yes, sir; yes, indeed. What
a wife she will make! Imagine Just
being able to tell her during Lsal
cold spell to go down to the dealer
and really GET SOME COALw
THAT does il. The ,vedding takes place
sir weeks later, with the minister asking
the groom, "Do you take this commander"
And Uith the choir singing not only Here
Comes the Bride" but "Here comes the
Judo expert, the aIl-round ranger, the pill
boz basher and the best mountain climber
of her ,Veight in the East.")
THE GWIBIT
(''Rep. Karl E. Mundt Of South
Dakota proposes the organization Of
Guild of Washington Incompetent
Bureaucratic Idea ThrOat-cutters to
be known as 'Gwibits.'"
A Gwibit loves his desk so grand
To hold things he can't understand;
He must have clips and spikes and
files
And baskets in all styles;
And as he fills 'em, one by one
He blithely chirps, well, now that's
done!"
When anything has gone astray
"We're looking into that" he'll say.
A Gwibit thinks it is such fun
When ten words do the work of one.
He thinks long letters are gem
That is if he is writing them!
He loves ideas, however slim,
Provided they're thought up by him.
This is the phrase that makes him
glow:
'We'll check on that and let you
know"
A Gwibit is a fellow who
Resents ideas that come from you;
He sees no good in plans by gents
Who've had a wide experience;
It fills him full of deepest doubt
If you know what you talk about;
These words he worships, boy, and
howl
TITS under our advisement now"
If he suspects you know your stuff
A Gwibit's way is extra rough;
He loves to take plan that's sound
And see it get the run-around;
Great satisfaction does he get
From saying, "File this and
forget!"
When Gwibits die they tell Saint
Pete,
"You'll have to wait; just take a
seat"
'Middle aged gentleman desires
company of lady not under SO years
and fond of bottled ale. "-Ad in New
Jersey newspaper.