The union times. (New Haven, Conn.) 1941-1948, 1944-04-08
Rx A. f. LOCKHART

There isn't a more abused,
more misunderstood or under-val-
ued mortal under the sun than
the average business representative
of an average trade union. Nor is
there anyone this side of the pearly
gates more deserving of the pearly
gates when his time comes to die
than the average business agent.
A business agent is human being
but no one seems to think so. For
example: After putting in long day
at the Office he isn't supposed to go
to a show, to a party or to his lodge
for the, simple reason that some mem
Der may want to call him UP and If
he is out of the house-he can't be
called.
and sVEat do people call a bust
ness agent about? Well, B.A. is
supposed to knO,o everything. He
is supposed to be able to do any
thing and everything. He is sup
posed to be able to create jobs
sUhere there are no jobs. He is
supposed to knOso about eUery job
and every project not only '0itIiin
the local Jurisdiction but in Ice
land, Greenland, Jamaica, Alaska,
Canada, Aran, Dakar, the Canal
Zone, Pearl HarbOr, Nes0 Brighton,
ROsement. Portage, BarabOO, Rapid
City, Hollywood and God only
KNOBS schere not. n business agent
is supposed to be able to just reach
up in the air and pluck out job
that is hand-faitored for the guy
,Vh0 is out of job.
GENIUS AND BUM
Yea, verify, a business agent is
man of parts, a genius and bum all
rolled in one. He is supposed to
carry on a constant agitation for a
shorter work week, more, pay, time
and a half for overtime and double
time for holidays, but he works from
II to Is hours day, his telephone is
always busy and if he doesn't show
ND at the office before 8 80 there are
those willing to have him burned in
crude OIL for trying to act like
banker.
And talking of bankers, B. A.
is supposed to be able to haul out
a dime or two bits every time a
moocher flashes union card on
him he is supposed to dig down
into his jeans for couple of bucks
every time a fellow uniOnist is
short; he has to dig up to buy
flowers for someone he never heard
of and if he doesn't kick in-he is
tagged as one of those cold-blOoded
gawks who live off the Labor move
ment, one of those per capita
Ieeches who are sucking the life
blood of their fellows and never
giving anything in return!
PHILADELPHIA LAWYER
A good business agent is supposed
to be able to settle any dispute and
ali disputes and no matter how many
he does Settle-someone is always
dissatisfied with the way he did the
job. He is supposed to be able to
out-talk a Philadelphia lawyer, and
if he cant-there are always halt
dozen or more in his union who know
damn we'll that they could do that job
without batting an eye. He is sup
posed to be able to write contract
that will give the employees everything
and the boss nothing He has to be
able to argue classifcations, the COM
plicated language of the War Pro-
duction Board, the O.P.A., the C.C.C.,
the W.L.B., the NL.R.B., and the
u. S. Supreme Court.
He has to know all about base rates,
depreciation, capital investments, vi
tamins Bone and how to make out
an income tax that even Henry Nor
genthau doesn't understand
and that isn't all. A good bust
ness representative should be able
to settle domestic quarreIs that the
Court of Good Will and Mr.. An
thOny would duck in AFFECT fear.
He has to be able to explain hOsO
one sUOman's husband is able to get
job while that particular mans
brOther-in-Ias0 can't buy, steal, beg
or inherit job. He has to knO,O
all the answers and if he doesn't
God 'elp i'm! He has to be able to
get b or C card for any dufer
sChO insists that he can't ride the
street cars because they make hin,
seasick; he has to square things
Nth the tire rationing board, the
draft board, the sugar ratiOning
board, the board of health and the
sOelfGre board.
THIS ONE HURTS
He has to have stand-in with the
members of the city council, with the
county commissioners, with the Gov
ernor and all the other politicians. He
has to get into a campaign to knock
hell out of some candidate and then
if that candidate happens to be elected
the B. A. is supposed to go around
and square things for the union that
went on record demanding the poll
tician's defeat
is HE A HUMAN?
A business agent is supposed to be
Just human being and that's all he
is but he is also supposed to be en-
dowed with a sixth sense that per-
mits him to tell offhand just how long
job will last, what is the railway
fare to Great Lakes Station. how
cold it gets in Newfoundland,
whether the Alaskan mosquitoes are
poisonous, how much it will cost for
room and hoard in Archorooe and