davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The globe-independent. (Hagerstown, Md.) 1943-19??, 1944-04-13

l have known for long time Ito
my sorrow) that betting commits
isoners always want the long end of
the stick, but it has never been so
forcibly brought home to me, as
when l read the announcement that
this year they are refusing to quote
odds on the outcome of the pennant
races in the big leagues.
Whether you are betting person
or not, you've got to face the fact
that there are many baseball fans
who like to place a modest wager
on the outcome of the two big pen
nant races, and up to this year,
most of the leading betting commits
sioners have. quoted odds Every
much in their favor to be sure) on
whether teams would wind up in
first, second, or third place in the
standings.
But this year they have refused
to make a book, claiming that the
possibility of players being called
by the Draft makes the quoting of
odds impossible.
What they should have said was:
eve are not making baseball
book this year because the uncertain
status of clubs as the season devol-
ops, might cause us to lose some
money. whereas in the past, our
system of making odds insured us
making profit, no matter which
team Won"
The globe-independent. (Hagerstown, Md.) 1943-19??, 1944-04-13

''It is significant that missing from
the eleven freedoms proposed by
the President and Vice-President)
are two vital to America-one, the
freedom from bureaucracy, and the
other freedom of the private enter
prise system. Senator Harry F.
Byrd (Democrat), Virginia
The globe-independent. (Hagerstown, Md.) 1943-19??, 1944-04-13

The Harding Administration was
distinguished for corruption. Then
Harding passed out. Coolidge, who
was at all times an apostle of mac
ton, held sway. Then came Hoover
and reaction. So we have had the
enlightening spectacle of Harding
symbolizing corruption, Coolidge
symbolizing inaction, and Hoover
symbolizing reaction. That is the
real history of the Republican Party.
Rhode Island Free Press (Dem. J.
The globe-independent. (Hagerstown, Md.) 1943-19??, 1944-04-13
Sure Thing.

Sure Thing.
'This war can't last more than
two months at the most" ex-
claimed Mrs. Smith.
'Why?" asked Mrs. Jones.
Because my old mans signed up,
and he's never kept a job more'n
two months.
The globe-independent. (Hagerstown, Md.) 1943-19??, 1944-04-13
Miles To the Gallon.

Elmer-Do you mean to say that
with gas rationing the way it is, you
travelled from coast to coast in your
car?
Phil-Sure, coast down one hill,
get towed up the next and then
coast again.
The globe-independent. (Hagerstown, Md.) 1943-19??, 1944-04-13

''The greatest need of this nation
today is thorough house cleaning
in Washington. Senator w. Lee
O'Daniel (Democrat) of Texas.
The globe-independent. (Hagerstown, Md.) 1943-19??, 1944-04-13
Clear Case.

Clear Case.
First Rooster-Something's wrong
with Mrs. White Leghorn. Do you
know what's bothering her?
Second er-Shell-shock, I'm
told. She sat on some eggs and
ducks came out of them!
The globe-independent. (Hagerstown, Md.) 1943-19??, 1944-04-13
From the April Democratic
National Committee Bulletin
WHAT EDITORS ARE SAYING

Republican leaders dare not at
tack the good neighbor policy of the
present National Administration be-
cause of the obvious benefits result
ing therefrom. The COP National
Committee, however, draws line at
no point. In recent issue of ION the
Home Front" its propaganda sheet,
it asserts that our good neighbor
policy may turn out to match the
predictions of the old time saying
that when you have to buy a friend
you are getting an enemy free" The
Republican Committee simply re-
fuses to see any good, hear any good.
or think any good of or in anything.
The Southwestern (Dem).
The globe-independent. (Hagerstown, Md.) 1943-19??, 1944-04-13
Try 1t Yourself!

Bill-Can you say What am I do
ing?" in four different ways?
Will-Sure. What am I doing?
What am l DOING? What AM
doing? WHAT am I doing?
Bill-Making a fool of yourself!
The globe-independent. (Hagerstown, Md.) 1943-19??, 1944-04-13
Light Touch!

Housewife-Hulga! Hulga, what
was that terrible crash I just heard?
Maid = I'm sorry. Ma'am, but I
was just accidentally busting and I
wiped the legs off the piano!
The globe-independent. (Hagerstown, Md.) 1943-19??, 1944-04-13
The Short Of 1t.

"And how tall was the missing
cashier?" asked the detective.
81 don't know how tall he was"
replied the banker. "but he is $1,000
short"
The globe-independent. (Hagerstown, Md.) 1943-19??, 1944-04-13
Oxygen Atoms Weighed

With a microscope scientist can
determine the weight of oxygen at
oms that tarnish and rust steel and
other metals.
The globe-independent. (Hagerstown, Md.) 1943-19??, 1944-04-13
Funny Stuff?
Silence!

Silence!
After the clergyman with whom
he was playing a round of golf had
completely missed the ball several
times, the judge looked intently in
his fast-reddening face and said
quietly: Reverend, it's the most
profane silence l have ever known"
The globe-independent. (Hagerstown, Md.) 1943-19??, 1944-04-13
Light Fingered!

Henry-Do you think that fellow
down the street is crooked?
Crooked! He's so crooked
I count my fingers every time I
shake hands with him!
The globe-independent. (Hagerstown, Md.) 1943-19??, 1944-04-13
Conscience Is Clear.

Housewife-Mandy, you've left
fngerprints all over the plates!
Mandy-Well, ma'am, dat done
show All ain got no guilty con-
science!
The globe-independent. (Hagerstown, Md.) 1943-19??, 1944-04-13
Right Spot.

Right Spot.
Heavyweight (returning to seat
between acts)-Pardon me, did I
tread on your toes as we went out?
Seated (grimly) - You certainly
did!
Heavyweight-Well, what did I
tell you, wiley; this is our place.
The globe-independent. (Hagerstown, Md.) 1943-19??, 1944-04-13
Thanks For Nothing!

Mac-So Mabel returned your en-
gagement ring2
Jack-Yeah, she mailed it to me.
And she had the nerve to put label
on the package: Glass-handle with
care!
The globe-independent. (Hagerstown, Md.) 1943-19??, 1944-04-13
Storage Space.

Plumber-Why do you want such
a big sink?
Mr.. Jones-When my wife leaves
for the summer, she's usually gone
for whole month!
The globe-independent. (Hagerstown, Md.) 1943-19??, 1944-04-13
Varnish Base Paint for Implements

Farhisn Base Paint for Implements
Metal parts of farm machines
Should be painted with an nipple
ment paint or one with a varnish
base. This is preferable to one with
an Oil base, as it dries better and
does not come off so readily on
hands and clothes.
The globe-independent. (Hagerstown, Md.) 1943-19??, 1944-04-13

We believe that the public is on
guard in this campaign and is not
willing to buy pig in poke. Those
candidates who try too hard to
smartly dodge the issues and to COW
er up their real views on vital public
questions are likely to outsmart
themselves. Any man who seeks the
presidency in these critical times
should have the courage to stand up
and say what he thinks No man is
qualified to be commandments
of the army and navy who cannot
match the courage of the boys on the
firing line.-Ft. Wayne Journal Ga
zette (Dem).
The globe-independent. (Hagerstown, Md.) 1943-19??, 1944-04-13
Ef-NT 1924 - 1914 Atu
p2O%@s dp04
In Washington, the Senate ad.

] D u T u e u TWO
hours b e fore
schedule to per-
NIT members to
e s cape being
marooned in the
G apito oil by a
FIRE ak April
Sn OW s t orm
The globe-independent. (Hagerstown, Md.) 1943-19??, 1944-04-13
BEHIND
HOME PLATE
BY DOUG STEWART

Oren E. Sterling, president of the
Hagerstown Ball Club (Owls to
you), arrived in town on Tuesday
and opened business offices at the
Dagmar Hotel.
With the genial Owls boss came
a nice, cold, rainy day, but, like po-
litical wrangles before a convention,
it probably will be followed by
warm peaceful days, ideal for spring
training.
We gave Mr.. Sterling a day or
two to get. things in order, but,
starting tomorrow, that man is go
ing to know how it feels to have a
baseball-hungry reporter, thirsting
for news, Fostering him at all hours
of the day and night.
The globe-independent. (Hagerstown, Md.) 1943-19??, 1944-04-13
1t Won't Show.

Mother-Why didn't you wash
your hands before coming to the
table?
Son-I didn't think I needed to,
since we're having brown bread.
The globe-independent. (Hagerstown, Md.) 1943-19??, 1944-04-13
Fats for Seasoning

Save pork, beef, and ham fats for
cooking eggs, seasoning vegetables.
and for baking beans and peas. Store
them, covered in the refrigerator.
The globe-independent. (Hagerstown, Md.) 1943-19??, 1944-04-13
Dirty Crack!

Mrs.-Am I too late for the gar
bage?
Garbage Man-No, ma'am; climb
right in!
The globe-independent. (Hagerstown, Md.) 1943-19??, 1944-04-13
Better Off?

Hubby-You didn't have a rag on
your back when I married you!
Wifey-Well, I've plenty of them
now!
The globe-independent. (Hagerstown, Md.) 1943-19??, 1944-04-13
He Knows.

He Knows.
Harry-How come your brother
isn't raising chickens any more?
Jerry-He figured there was more
money in raising chicken feed.
The globe-independent. (Hagerstown, Md.) 1943-19??, 1944-04-13
lou

Smith-Well, I must be going.
must see Jones about one twenty.
Brown-Wait, I'll go with you.
want to see him about five.
The globe-independent. (Hagerstown, Md.) 1943-19??, 1944-04-13
Separating Eggs

Separating Eggs
In separating eggs, even the ex-
perts get a speck of yolks in the
whites from time to time. When
that happens they just touch the
yolk with cloth moistened in cold
water and out it comes.
The globe-independent. (Hagerstown, Md.) 1943-19??, 1944-04-13
Too Bad.

Too Bad.
Plumber-Pm sorry but I've for
gotten my TOOLS.
Professor-Oh, that's all right.
I've forgotten what I called you for.
The globe-independent. (Hagerstown, Md.) 1943-19??, 1944-04-13
Shoot Straight.

Nit-Lots of people have a good
aim in life.
Wit-Yeh, but most of them for
get to pull the trigger.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-05-14
Hobby, Buying Houses

Gertrude Niesen. Making a
.rihc hit as a musical show
COINCIDENCE Some critics say
she is as good as Ethel Mer-
man. That IS praise indeed.
Miss Niesen's hobby is buying
houses. She usually has three
or four homes in various parts
Of the country I'm all her
houses Gertie insists on plenty
OF mirrors. but most houses
could use more mirrors than
they have FOR the ladies. Espc-
cially rear view mirrors so that
women. when wearing Stacks.
could get = definite idea how
they look both advancing and
Tetreating
Writes san Franciscan:
1.-THE ouija board SAYS Hitler
will be assaSsinated on June 4,
1874. or course, YOU can't be
lieve the ouiIa board. but can
dream, can't II"
\ N-mail letter weighs only
140th as much as a standard
letter.
Tell your wife she can cro-
ehet smart looking handbag
and won't have TO pay any lux
ury tax on it," writes a kindly
Boston subscriber.
My wife has been told:
Sor0ritieS have been discontin-
ned at Stanford University. \
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-05-14

Avn luilS uHu WAC llhliS III "a
in the same was a shy looking
young fellow in uniform.
An elderly woman said TO
him:
("Have you seen any action
nj the front, young mani"
(The young fellow answered
quietly and politely;
l"Yes, ma'am. ! took part
in so bombing missions. 1 am
the only one OF our original
crew now alive.")
Charlie Chaplin gas the
first great film comedian"
states a contemporary. A ride
ulous and uaiaformcd state
mept. Ho,o about John Bimpy9
Haze noted BGmber Of
popng.lcomcn wcoring gold red
ding rings. AnBCoy they look
Ike gold. This type Of ring
seems tho most impressire Of
oil wcddiHg bands.
Nom there is film star
named JEFF DoHpeH. It's girl.
For the parents Of a female
child 10 a0me her JET Is nearly
the limit IN that sort Of thing.
n IS as bad as naming a boy
Alicc.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-05-14
IS Days in Hospital

According to the liberal pro-
visions of this new plan, you
get the following benefits:
CD Cash for room and board,
up to forty-hve days for each
member of the family in the
given year; (2) Cash to pay
for the various hospital extra
charges, such as operating
room fee, X-rays, anesthetic,
medicines, ambulance service,
etc. (S) Cash to help pay the
surgeon fees. There are many
other benefits which make this
Northern Mutual policy the
most liberal hospital protection
ever devised.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-05-14

has no effect on a harness
horse.
In running race If one horse
carries only five pounds more
than a rival it makes a ire
mendous difference. In harness
races YOU often see one driver
weighing 80 pounds and an
other weighing 100. ] can't I'M
derstand why pulling 60 pounds
more is not "A handicap FOR a
harness race horse.
Copyright 1874 Dy King Features
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-05-14

patrons seem 10 object TO l0omsn
drivers more than male Gus
toners do.
Boston owner Of harness
horses says he will make a har-
ness race driver out Of me. He
says my weight Of 100 pounds
makes no difference. He claims
many harness horse drivers
weigh that much.
Something that battles me is
why If weight makes so much
difference 10 a running horse il
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-05-14
37-Year-Old
Company

This policy is backed by a
'7-year-old Company which
has faithfully served the
Middle West for over two
generations. AS provided in
this policy, you are paid cash
for hospital expenses whether
the disability occurs at home
or ar work. And you are not
limited to any certain hospital.
The money is paid to you. So
you pick the hospital, any
where in the u. S. or Canada.
You arc provided with an
Identification card which fur
nishes the hospital satisfactory
evidence of your financial re-.
sPonsibility.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-05-14
A Song Prodigy

Apartment we are living in
Is so soundproof the radio Is
handicapped. Unless you place
the radio near the window you
can hardly hear It.
a very proud San Francisco
mama claims that at the age OF
2ig her little boy knew over
90 songs and sang them beauti-
fully, word for word.
As for every woman who IL
married TO a short man having
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-05-14
n e " P | a n
Pays Family
Hospital Bill
Protects Entire Family
for Sickness, Accident
and Childbirth
Includes hospital
room, surgeon fees,
medicines, X-rays, etc.
0RMATI0N FREE

A new low-coste plan that
pays cash for your hospital
expenses has now been pro-
Xided IA new kiad OF family
insurance policy created by the
well-known Northern Mutual
Casualty Co. As this policy
provides, your entire family is
covered for capitalization due
to sickness, accident and child
birth.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-05-14
Tried All Smokes

Queries from clients:
Q-Did gou smoke corn elk
cigGrcts ieheH KIDD
A-fcs. Also smoked cub6b
and cinnamon cIgarefs and had
q clay pipe and n coyucob pipe.
! fticd about erergthiHg IN the
smoking line until at thesogs Of
IS I decided cigars Were best,
ard That's rh1t I hare b6cH
smoking cIciusUcig srer siHce.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-05-14
No Medical
Examination

No medical examination is re-
quired. And all the members
of your immediate family
cages up to 6j) are protected
under single policy, on which
you pay one premium each
month. In the case of the av-
erage family, this premium
amounts to only a few cents
a day.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-05-14

guns, planes and tanks and nothing
will stop him from doing it.
The dairy farmer knows that he must
produce more milk-and still more milk
to meet the increasing demands of
our Armed Forces and our Home Front
for this precious food. The Government
has set his goal at l25 billion pounds
this year-a truly colossal task.
Yes-the dairy farmers job in this
war is passing the ammunition"-and
he's doing it magnihcently. Our hats
are off to him.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-05-14

good idea. Fraternities are
utilized for good fellowship and
friendship, but most sororities
seem TO have been organized
strictly for social purposes and
are hotbeds OF snobbery.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-05-14

my cute little husband for MI
the tall. tan and terrific CLAM
our boys in the world"
Women toJi drivers do as
neil rs DtcR. Besides, then keep
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-05-14

n big dream man somewhere,
that's a lot OF nonsense" writes
n ChicagOan.
IL am S feet 9, my husband
IL 5 feet q. wouldn't change
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-05-14

their cabs neoter. Yet the propd-
ganda as to the lack Of ability
and tendency TO dizzy driving
in tComeH seems 10 hare had
great effect on the average eiti-
zen.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-05-14
Includes Childbirth
Many Extra Benefits

This liberal policy provides
many other benefits impossible
TO list in this limited space.
But any one interested can
secure full and complete infor-
nation by mailing the coupon
below. There is no cost or
obligation. Tear out this
coupon now.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-05-14

URcOrer your head and hold breath
This boon not eUery lifetime hath
To look On'men lOhO hare lCdlked With death
And hare not been afraid.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-05-14
WEIGHT No Handicap

Many people tCal eUes2iCoit
for another cab rather than
ride NTH n 7ComGn driver. 10
IL also sad 10 relate that female
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-05-14
Elizabeth Chase.

CAN of these days look upon many young who
shave walked with death" But sometimes don't know IT,
Not long riding in hotel elevator and among those
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-05-14

It's daybrcak on Michigan country
road A dairy farmers truck rumbles
along starting on the way one of
Americas most vital wartime foods -.
fltre nowishiag milk.
There's little glory to this dairy
farmers job. Long hours Back-break-
ing work. Increasing shortage of help.
Equipment hard to get. Feed scarce and
expensive.
But he's not looking for medals, or
cheers, or praise. He has a war job to
do-as important to victory as making
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-05-14

lv william Miller Distributed by King Features. Inc.
Evening star., 1944-02-27
AUTOMOBILES WANTED.

try to meet it. Flood Pontiac, 4221 Con-
CADILLAC needed for executive in highly
essential war work. Bendall Pontiac. TIE.
CADiLLAc wanted; name your price, will
try to meet it. Flood Pontiac. 1921 Con-
CHEVROLET or laht b-Da.sens.r late,
model car with low mileage: cash. Union
CHEVROLET wanted for war worker
premium cash priss psSsd for clean car.
CHEVROLET wanted: name your price, viii
try to meet I'd IT, s4dS rSod Pontiac 1921 Con-
pay the high price; Let US prove t.
DoSGE DDna5ss AND AMI; CHsYsIER wanted @ nam; name
tiac, 1921 Connecticut. wo. s4OO.
FORD wanted for war worker in critical
area; premium cash price. Bendall Pom
,oIaD F0kD, M9de "a .sso gg 4-eyl' 1882 with good
FORD wanted; name your prize. viii
FoRDs AND caaEESyGsoIErs ursentl, need
Cd ssfra mofnr hfh press for eItr: good
oLDsMoBLE wanted: name your price;
EI try to meet o IT Flood Pontiac %221
golet Or Ford: Sun. only. 529 Dale Dr., Apt.
8, Silver Spring.
needed for n4e. Ts5 1 ss,
6SHds sSntjaS IE ss;s 1sur
sa - s1 nsss It, .4dc GOOD Pontiac
oaTse AND .l top dollars 70.
Pontiae Fontiae 4o7 fHn Florida ave ave. ne. 0O
PREMIUM CASH price for clean used cars,
any year or model. Bendall Pontiac, TIE.
HAVE HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN to call Adams
$500 to sell car We can Pay you
VA Want III BEST asT'nf fRicE IL Tor your car, See
Loving before you sell; We pay the hish
%L PsY bSN6s 6s FRGE iof ss
car; no & dealers; R party Ges nseds car with good
write to me your price. year and shape it
is in, or bring it to me; private party. S.
M4ss 1 viii pay M0DFea sl n cash prc.
clean car for war worker. Bendall
ri sl1 to ss FSss.s ssa
PRIvATE Party With . good car, call
R8 PIC. ss1si williams xl Auto Ps' you h''h cash
PRIVATE PARTY wishes to purchase good
used car spot cash. without delay. Ii.
SAILOR WILL PAY CASH for . good late
model car. Call DE. 27I3 after $3.50 Pm.
! WILL BUY YOUR CAR, in any condi-
tion. II not paid for, will pay OF balance
and give difference, in cash. Will give
highest price. Franks Used Car Lot, SO4
isqanRgf Be SURE 10 SEE LOVING before you sell
to get the most cash. All o7a makes urgently
FULL RETAIL PRICE paid in cash for
your car: no chizzling: We need cars.
Williams WI M, Auto Sales. 1929 R. I. ave. ne
LATE MODEL sEDANETTE or business
coupe, prefer Buick or Oldsmobile must
be clean: pay cash. Call WO. s473.
PRIVATE PARTY needs good transporta-
tion at once: all cash; Chev., Plymouth or
Ford preferred. MI. $3.50.
WANTED station wagon: have smaller car
for trade and will pay cash difference, or
will buy, outright for cash: no dealers.
PRivATE PARTY will pay any price for
Will PHT kEHsoNHBLE PRICE for Ists:
model car, make or style not important.
oxi9rd 04as after g pm: Dealer.
or Al car, in good condition. ME. 3626.
WE fAY highest cash prices for ali model
Studebakers. American Service Center,
5S6 N -Glebe I'd, Arlington, Va. Phone
Evening star., 1944-02-27
Al MODERN HOME FARM
.----------
Vi1lapp-E,dpe Farm m River
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