Evening star., 1944-01-04
Dorothy
Dix Says

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women about how to hold a hus-
band, I get dozens of letters of fu-
rious protests from married ladies
demanding to know why they should
wear themselves out trying to ap-
pease their husbands, and asking
why shouldn't a husband make just
as much effort too keep his wife in
love with him as she makes to keep
herself attractive to him?
And they wind up by angrily as
serting that they don't want hus-
bands who have to be held Ap-
parently nothing else makes wom-
an see red so much as the mere
suggestion that her husband could
ever possibly lose his taste for her.
Why women take this antagonistic
attitude on the subject is one of the
mysteries of feminine psychology
that no one can explain, for Ger
tainly every wife knows that not
only her happiness but her material
we'll being depends upon how her
husband feels toward her. AS long
as he is in love with her he will be
tender, considerate, pleasant to live
with, and will work his fingers to
the bone to give her comforts and
luXuries.
But when he ceases to care for her
and she becomes an old woman of
the sea on his back, instead of a
lady love against his heart, he be-
comes nothing but grudging meal
ticket. He considers that he has
paid for his mistake in marrying a
woman who has gotten on his nerves
by supporting her, and that he is not
called on to feed her on sentiment
as we'll as filet mignon.
No man ever blames himself for
falling out of love with his wife, or
thinks that he could in any way
have prevented the catastrophe. He
lays the onus of it on her, and hon.
estly believes that If she had not
quit weaving her spells of enchant-
ment over him he never would have
weakened to the fact that she had
become fat and middle-aged, or
noticed how young and pretty and
slim his secretary was.
And maybe he is right at that.
For while women marry for any
number of reasons besides love, such
as their fear of being old maids, or
that their silly idea of being called
Mrs" gives them some sort of social
prestige, or their desire for security,
or wanting to get out from under
mothers thumb and have homes of
their own, and son on, men, the
sentimentalists, rarely marry for
anything except love alone.
Practically every bride starts out
with the initial advantage of having
her husband more in love with her
than she is with him, and if with
this edge she loses out and lets him
get away from her, or permits some
other woman to steal him from her
1t is her own fault. In his benused
state her infatuated bridegroom sees
her as Miss America, no matter how
snub is her nose and how carroty
her hair. He believes her possessed
OF every feminine charm and virtue
and he is sure she is the only woman
In the world for him.
And If she has the sense to know
which side of her bread is buttered,
she will keep him that way to the
end of the chapter That it can be
done is amply proven by the shining
examples we see now and then of
men who still call their wives
"girlie" and worship at their feet
after so years of matrimony.
The trouble with women is that
they think that marriage is the end
OF their careers, instead of their re-
allzing it is just the beginning. Their
one thought and purpose and objec-
tive ever since they got in their teens
is to catch husband and having
achieved their aim, they think they
can sit down, fold their hands and
take things easily. They think they
do not have to put on an act any
longer, and that their marriage GER
tiflcate entities them to pass up the
beauty shop, quit counting their call
ories, eat onions and tell their hus-
bands home truths.
Going on the cheerful theory that
a husband is like yellow dog that
you can't lose, no matter how much
you kick 1t about, many a wife never
makes the slightest effort to make
herself attractive to her husband.
She comes down to breakfast in a
sloppy and soiled housegown, with
her face still covered with cold
cream. She never shows her hus-
band any affection, or even says
thank you" for the money he works
20 hard to get for her. She never
pays him a compliment or jollies
him along. She doesn't listen when