The Wilmington morning star., 1944-06-24
BY WEsTBROOK PEGLER

/
and roguish, too, have worked out a system
of kilograms in code which should satisfy the
desires of most of us to salute the new baby
born to the little girl next door who is now
down in, let us say, New Mexico, and living
in hutch to be near her soldier husband,
graduate Eddie and Jane on their first or
any ensuing wedding anniversary. My code is
good for wedding messages, too, and for grad.
uations, Valentines day, Christmas and all
other such sentimental occasions, not forget
ting the day when some little boy or girl
finally gets kicked up into grade BIB to make
room for those behind.
Far be it from ms to Interfere with the
successful prosecution of the war which is the
purpose of the verboten on kilograms OF felici-
tation and congratulation, but if l can com.
bine the effect of such messages with the
sort of text that has been approved as helpful
and unifying will have served two purposes
and earned, should think, at least lower.
case "e' from the War Communications Board
You may remember that the Western Union
used to have series of canned messages fol
practically all standard situations which were
numbered, 1853. 1889, 806 and soforth, a system
winch saved great zeal OIL ITdLSIIllSSlOu dIlO
expressed the sentiments of the senders with
just the right degree Of warmth Fahrenheit
and with lavishness of words that made one
seem extravagantly Indifferent to the stand
ard, 10-word tradition. If you filed message
in Bridgeport to couple in Wheeling wht
| had just had a child born and wished to say
1--WE are happy in your happiness and seae
love and best wishes to both Of you and the
baby" you picked out No. 806 and the CIR
punched out the address, the number and thu
signature to the last relay point this side O.
Wheeling. This operator then put the tex
of 800 on the actual wire and so it arrived
in Wheeling, all spelled out. Or, if you want
ed to send kiddiegram congratulations for al
unaccountable but gratifying spell of good be
havior. you selected No. 1889 which read
I'D like to kiss you if I could because you've
been so very good" and the same process!
followed.
And still some people think the Russian!
have a better system than ours.
But I am keeping you in suspense.
Well. as you may know, spend gooe
deal of my time improving that which I hav,
the nimitable drollery to call my mind, b,
reading the publications of the National Mari
| time union and several other highly patriotic
win-the-war organizations and l have discov
cred that these people are forever sending
thousands of kilograms to their senators ant
| congressman, 10 MT. anu MIS- ROOSeVelC dIlS
Mr.. Wallace and Admiral Land of the Mari
time Commission and the War Labor and La
Dor Relations board all demanding action OF
certain propositions dear to their interests an.
helpful to the prosecution of the war on MAJ
i aggression. And my plan is to prepare
code whereby poll-tax message. for exam
pie, reading demand passage Marcantoni
resolution repeating un-American anti demo
cratic tory reactionary fascist poll-tax in tn
name Of the Four Freedoms and the Tehera:
agreement means to the recipient Thrilled
] and happy over good news, may the new ad
dition prove source Of Joy to you always
The standard NMU message demanding foo
subsidy will mean, in my code, "Congratula
tons as you start on the marital highway
may its every mile be smooth: and the on
to confer on alien sailors, including continen
tai communists, all the rights benefits AM
privileges Of the American armed forces, in
Guiding full citizenship, veterans pensions an
Job preferment over native Americans IN thel
own country, would come out as "congratuls
tons on your wedding anniversary may man
l years to come be as happy as those that nav
{ passed"
mean they wouldn't really come out tina
way. But you would have COOKBOOK an
if you got the Mrcantonio telegram you coul
5 look it up and see what it really means
:, have never liked the snide, unpatrioti
war-impending tricks Of people VINO lnoors
mergers when young American so1oiel
i marry young American girls aad wire tnel
approval of ..dividends' when they have bs
y bies. They are vulgar they are sly and the
:. impede the ready transmission OF those tnor
Z sands of kilograms which really are "essenti
er, to the prosecution Of the war;
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