The Wilmington morning star., 1944-03-02
By WEsTBROOK PEGLER

KANSAS CITY, - Down the street there is
a picture in saloon window and who do you
think it is but that Dizzy Calico? 1t says he
was lecturing here last week and I wonder
what he told them all about. Culture, maybe,
or after Fascism, what? They all do.
Why, didn't he tell them about the time
we went over to that little resort in Ohio
where Schmeling was training for Stribling
and we thought we had run into disaster on
the lake with about 80 hearses and undertake
er's meat wagons parked on the lawn around
that sun-blistered leaky-roof hotel, and collins
yawnng on the grass and on the porches,
and it turned out to be regional convention
of morticians and that damn electrical pipe
organ kept playing Nearer My God To Thee
over and over day and night, and how hot it
was, and the night they out of ice for
our gin and ginger-ale and the bellhop said
he knew where he could rustic some and we
said we'll, 60 ahead and rustic and he said
maybe we wouldn't want it because he was
fixing to fitch little off the dead gentleman
in the music room that they were planning
to use in the morning for demonstration.
Why didn't he tell them about that?
Why didn't he telm them about the time 1zzy
got drunk Up at Derby when Delaney was
training for the Maloney thing in the garden
and stripped off and Topped on his bed and
started in snoring and Riley peeked in and
saw him hairy as bear and sent some lop-
ear down to the stationery store for a quart
bottle of musilage and poured it all over him
and let him sleep away.
Why didn't he tell them about that or the
other time when Riley told Ivy confidentally
to catch himself a sucker and get a bet on
Delaney to lick anybody in camp playing golf
because Delaney had been taking secret les
sons and he could drive ball off the crystal
of watch; so they took him way off to one
of the back tees to prove it and it turned
out Riley and Delaney forgot their watches
changing clothes after the workout and Izzy
didn't want to use his but Riley said well if
he was going to bet on the guy he shouldn't
be afraid to show little confidence; so Izzy
slowly handed over his antique ancestral
Kovno crank-Winder and they teed the ball and
Delaney took one hell of swing with his driver
and scattered springs, gears and axles all
over the fairway.
Why didn't he tell them about that day in
Garmisch Partenkirchen when Der Fueh-
rer came down for the ski-jumps over on the
mountain and we came out of the sanitariun1
where we were rooming and there a file
of those giant blackguards of Hitler's own
elite Corps lining both sides of the road elbow
to elbow, facing in and some Henie said we
would have to walk a mile back to get
around them because nobody could 90 though;
and Calico said for that cockeyed paperhang'
! er I am not walking any two miles in this
snow so follow me and he barged right be-
tween a couple of the guards and me after him
and they all started to below and l thought
to tell them I died game; but Calico, who
speaks beautiful German although not word
of wop, and him Ginzo he just gave the
taptain silly grin and said excoose, please,
ich been Amerkanscher tourist, alzo; and
the captain threw up his hands and told his
men to skip it and let the Gott-verdamt Amer
lean sheeps-head swine-dogs through but hurry
up about it; and everybody else had to walk
way around.
Or whv didn't he tell them how he took
skiing lessons on an indoor Alp covered with
EPSON salts in New York store and when
he got to Garmisch he went messing around
on an honest-to-God Alp and slipped and took
off and went sailing down one OF the toughest
slopes around there and everybody thinks well
! that's the end of that crazy greasebaH and
Won can strike me bloody well pink with pur'
ple dots if he didn't come through standing
up
u After Fascism, what? Can democracy sur
vive? Must men make war?
Why doesn't he tell them some things ne
knows something about?
it I don't know. Could be maybe ne ola.