The Hardin tribune-herald. [volume] (Hardin, Mont.) 1925-1973, 1944-01-27

THzHhIMpc y
wNU saviaA
wNU SaUA
COMMANDO GIRL

i ("Young women are being trained
as commandos. They are taught to
scale walls, batter down doors.
break through heavy obstacles.
wrestle, fight and do ranger work."
News item.)
II have come to ask for YOU
daughters hand" announced the
young man.
This is rather surprising" said
the girls father. Are you sure you
love herr"
Il loved her the first time | saw
her 60 over an l8-foot WALL"
And r you sure she return this
love?"
Eyes. sir. Yesterday as she was
about to dive headfirst through a
sheet Of plate glass l asked her if
she would marry me-. and I heard
her nswer distinctly above the
crash"
How long has this been going
on"
Diving through plate glass;"
mo. no. This romance!"
"Not very long. sir. I met your
daughter while l was bracing some
oak trees. She came tearing along
in that effective way of hers and
felled them with a quick shoulder
movement. I complimented her
and one word led to another. saw
her again a few days later ripping
planks out Of a drawbridge."
And them"
well, we had lunch a few nights
later. just after she had won three
j stars for shoeing a horse standing
on one leg"
THE horse?"
mo, your daughter. That night
she told me all about herself .
the time she went through three
barbed wire fences in two minutes,
eleven seconds . . the day she
swan the Hudson towing a coal
barge . and the occasion when
she and another little girl knocked
a hole in an armored car with bare
fists. She's so wonderful. sir!"
Its strange that she hasn't told
her mother or me of this attach
ment."
well, she's been awfully preoccu-
! pied lately. She's concentrating on
a new technique for scaling cliffs in
wei clothes. carrying $50 pounds Of
unnecessary luggage"
"Ahem. see. Now suppose I
consent. Do you think this will
make a happy marriage?"
"Oh, yes, sir; yes, indeed. What
a wife she will make! Imagine just
being able to tell her during a real
cold spell to go down to the dealer
and really GET SOME COAL!"
THAT does it. The wedding takes
place sir weeks later. with the minister
asking the groom, do you take this
commander" And wiih the choir sing.
ing not only Here Comes the Bride"
but Here ome the judo expert, the
aH.round ranger, the pillbox basher
and the best mountain climber OF her
weight in the East.")
THE GWIBTT
("Rep. Karl E. Mundt Of South
Dakota proposes the organization Of
a Guild Of Washington Incompetent
Bureaucratic Idea Th~roat-cutters to
be known as 'Gwibits.'")
A Gwibit loves his desk so grand
To hold things he can't understand;
He must have clips and spikes and
files
And wire-baskets in all styles;
And as he fills 'em, one by one
J He blithely chirps. well. now that's
done!"
When anything has gone astray
We're looking into that" he'll say.
A Gwibit thinks It Is such fun
When ten words do the work Of one.
He thinks long letters are a GEM
That Is II he is writing them!
He loves ideas. however slim.
I Provided they're thought up by him.
This Is the phrase that makes him
glow:
I Well check on that and let you
know"
A Gwibit Is q fellow who
Resents ideas that come from you:
He sees no good in plans by gents
Who've had 4 wide experience;
1t hlls him full Of deepest doubt
II you know what you talk about;
These words he worships. boy. and
howl
ITS under our advisement now
II he suspects you know your stuff
A Gwibit's way Is extra rough;
He loves to take a plan that's SOUND
And see it get the r~un-around;
Great satisfaction does he get
From saying, File this and
forget!"
When Gwibits die they tell Sain,
Pete,
You'll have to wait; Just take 8
seat"