The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1944-08-18
@salEz<
EZkl'Asx1
-

ELMER ON SUMMER
RESORT CEILINGS

L
at summer amusement resorts, fol-
lowing complaints Of exorbitant
prices for hotdogs, soda pop, salami
sandwiches, etc. This column Is not
In sympathy. Pleasure seekers at
amusement resorts eat too much.
Nothing they stuff themselves with
Is necessary.
We think the dollar hotdog would
be good thing, with an extra two
bits for mustard. It is responsible
for much Of the irritability found at
summer resorts.
But Elmer Twitchell is for cell
ings on many other items at the sum-
mer Fairgrounds Of America. He
wants the OPA to put a limit on
what can be charged for picture
gallery photographs, bathing houses,
sideshow freaks and fortune tellers.
l. -
81 demand OPA protection at the
picture galleries." he snapped to-
day. "They are getting twice as
much for snapshot Of me leaning
against fake cabin cruiser as in
prewar days and Pm using the same
face. When I squawk to the phOtog-
rapher what does he say? He says
photography has gone to war! He
tells me camera parts are hard to
get, that all the best assistants are
in Normandy and that the artist
who painted the backdrop gets 50
per cent more than last year for
the same waves, whitecaps and
rocks"
Elmer was In a temper. "And
take the lighthouses. They sock me
more than ever for a locker, suit
and towel, and when I kick all they
say is, Don't you know there's q
war on?'
'"There should be ceilings on for
tune tellers, too. I paid SO cents
more for my fortune this summer
than last summer. I insist that the
shortage Of tea leaves is bogus and
that gypsies have to pay more for
earrings and hair grease.
"They've upped the admission
price to see the Two-Headed Boy.
Why? Well, they claim there is
shortage of two-headed boys due to
the war, but am yet to see one in
the army or in a war plant.
| -
'The Fat Lady is getting more
money, and can see some justice in
that. It must cost her more to keep
fat, but there is one amusement re-
sort feature that should be punished
by OPA at once"
"Who is that?" we asked.
'"The lady sword swallower," said
Mr.. Twitchell.
81 paid 10 per cent more to get
into the tent to see her and a flame
eater. About the flame eater I'm not
sure. Maybe flames are harder to
get. But I denounce the alibi of the
sword swallower as wholly without
foundation"
"What alibi is that?" we asked.
"He had the nerve to tell me that
swords are being rationed," con-
cluded Elmer.
DIFFICULT
II voters take to rhyming,
1t will not be so hot:
There is no rhyme for Roosevelt,
But Dewey's ON the spot.
Eta Beta
A powerful plane is said to be
waiting at all times to take Hitler
out of the country, but he doesn't
know where he can 60. Plenty of
people can tell him.
-
Thumbnail Description
He was the kind of man who could
make one pat Of butter cover three
waff1es.
The Russians are moving so fast
they must have a motorcycle escort.
-
Imaginary plea Of the Nazi mill
tary chiefs to the Russians, "Could
we see that again, in slow motion?"
-
The Pullman company says the
present sleeping car is to be thing
Of the past before many years. No
more will be manufactured. This is
going to be a terrific blow to the lad.
der and net industries.
The new sleeping car will not have
the double berths down both sides
of the car, with aisle in the center. I,
will be a car of roomettes, each
with running water, etc. It has al
ways puzzled us that the conven
tional sleeping-car could have sur
vived so many years, but we shall
regret its complete disappearance
| We used to take a sleeper once in q
while just to see if we had anything
left physically.
Can You Remember
Away back when nobody eve]