davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-12-30
On the
Side

see how they really look in
Stacks.
EVFTEEN out of every 100 let
l. tiers written by u. $. troops
in France are addressed TO Eng
land. Practically all these COM
munications are addressed TO
English girls.
During the prohibition period
in this country there was a pop
ular song titled, Its the Smart
Little Feller who Stocked Up
His Cellar That's Getting All
the Beautiful Girls
"A Song to r m e m b G r"
based on the life Of Chopin, is
an interesting film. Has been
said that biggest problem IN
producing a play or film on the
life of Chopin Is TO get the play
ers TO pronounce his name cor
rectly.
IRON the London Express:
Il Mrs. Mary Ann Forknall of
Sandgate, Folkstone. was 10l
years old yesterday. She enjoys
beer with her dinner"
The lives Of many wounded
German soldiers who have been
taken prisoners are being saved
by blood plasma donated by
British citizens.
Ice cream soda is now priced
at 20 cents in most places. You
could get fine ice cream soda
for a nickel when ! was a lad.
My fathers salary at that time
was $50 a week. / think that
was equal in purchasing power
TO what $50 a week is today.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-12-30
THESE DAYS

THE OPA has again estab-
l. lished one fact beyond per-
adventure: Thrift is immoral in
the United States.
Honest American citizens who
have not boarded foodstuffs,
who used their stamps as they
went along. who have not filled
their larders with sugar and
their refrigerators with butter
have been cruelty penalized.
The hoarder, the cheat, the
marketeer who went from store
TO store getting a quarter pound
of butter here and half pound
there has benefited.
The moral of Mr.. Chester
Bowles' philosophy is that TO
hoard food is always better
than TO save stamps in the
book.
And remember this also:
Whenever an election ap-
proaches, the OPA, which is a
nonpolitical agency of the
American people, eases up on
whatever il can.
When the election is passed,
they tighten up so tightly that
the squeeze hurts.
1t is absolutely impossible
that the food statistics of this
country changed radically be-
tween election day and Christ
mas Day.
Mr.. Bowles knew before cleo
ton day what his Christmas
present for the American peo-
pie would be.
He knew that this country
possessed only one food surplus,
wheat; that we were short OF
everything else; that we were.
before the war, on balance a
food importing country.
Yet, what has happened to
natures windfall, six bumper
crops? What have they done
with the largest cattle popula-
ton this country has ever
known Let them answer no
one else can.
EOR mind you, we have not
Il fed the countries we have
liberated. We are not feeding
the world.
Our troops are not eating lux
uriously.
Perhaps II OPA were headed
by a practical butcher or a
grocer instead of an advertising
agent as Mr.. Bowles was before
he got his present job, or a col
lege professor as Mr.. Henderson
was-we might have a more
practical approach TO this prob
lem.
Now you can take the can
celed stamps which you so care
fully saved for the day that you
might need them and frame
them.
Put them up on the wall
where you can see them.
Remember that you saved
those stamps as Americans in
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-12-30

may go before a judge in early
sessions for disorderly conduct,
or recorders court for larceny,
or circuit court for murder, you
go before different kinds of
courts in the army.
The worst (from the Of
tenders view is a general
court martial which handles
AWOL cases, desertion or other
-offenseS that can carry any,
thing up to a death penalty.
Next comes special court, and
last is a summary court which
can be handled by a single
officer.
This last was the type which
tried our button-and-salute Of
tenders, and the penalty was in
the neighborhood of a 81 fine,
although, of course, the court
martial goes on the mans army
record and follows him as long
as he is in the service.
Recently we've had generals
all over the place. Last week
we had instructions TO get
ready for an inspection-no-
body seemed to know who was
doing the inspecting, but we
stayed up half the night scrub
bling hutments, clothes, shoes
and rifles. We were told that
somebody from Washington"
was going to be here.
WELL, the day of the in
w spection 1 decided that
the best thing to do was get
the hell outa here. You never
can tell what an Inspector will
do. Sometimes they ask a
million questions and look down
their noses, and then again
there was a major from army
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-12-30
MARY HAWORTH'S MAIL

this money problem, which is
confusing my sense of loyalty
10 him. X. Il.
DEAR X. B.:
/ think you might be effect
ing a greater saving, in the coin
of happiness, if you send his
windfall back TO him, in the
amounts he asks for, without
argument or cutting comment.
Console yourself with the
reflection that at least he
thought of you. as his de-
pendable partner and financial
trustee, as soon as the $3.50
came into his possession; and
wanted you 10 have il and re-
loice over it,
Ask yourself which is more
important, a spontaneous con-
tinuance Of his impulse 10 share
good fortune with you or $500
of his money at your disposal in
a bank account, kept there at
the expense of stirring up a
smoldering. long distance
quarrel?
Since with all his faults you
care enough for him TO be ear
nestly planning a postwar life
and home with him. don't you
think II advisable 10 carefully
concentrate on the proposition
of fostering in him an eager
desire 10 come back TO you?
Do you think il wise to start
pickering about money at this
distance / don't.
Men in isolated outposts tend
10 brood heavily over complain
ing letters from home; and
some hostile comment or word
Of criticism that would be for
gotten within the hour, in
normal circumstances and ia
miliar surroundings. may SOW
seeds OF destructive resent
ment towards the person who
penned il.
So avoid that risk in relation
10 him. vi. ii.
EDITORS NOTE-Mory Ha-
Worth eounseis through her col.
-srr; not by mali or personal
interview. Write her in care Of
The Detroit Times.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-12-30
One Word Led to Another
By Patterson
: By Arthur Bugs" Baer-

There's a new type of fellow who out of this
He's the collaboratonst.
He bobbed up first in China where he tabled
puppet Then he spread to France Italy, Greece Poland
and the Balkans.
1 remember old Joe Jacobs going to manage
of Max Schmeng fights in Germany. newsreel comes
back of Joe in Maxeys before the fight He has
big heater in his kisser And his is stuck out
the approved Shickelgruber diagonal stiff fish
on ice
Joe asked, What would you do?"
The was, that under the conditions and
atmospheric pressure you would probably do the
thing Joe did. Or else
I'm not the attorney for the collaborationists But
always thought that big French motor maker had
something when he said II worked for the Germans and
kept 10000 French mechanics in Paris"
We concede there two sides to every Which
isn't enough. If you want to pack anything away
must have six sides.
Collaboration during conflict is treason. Colabora-
ton after defeat is just noxious. But notice the
French going little easier their coaborators.
Sure, they still shaving their heads But they are
giving them shampoo first.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-12-30
WALTER WINCHELL n On

LIVERY theatrical season re-
~ wives the familiar wall that
critics are running the theater.
OF course such beefing comes
from those who have been
PANIED. Those who are given
critical praise are always num-
When Brooks Atkinson was
the N. Y. Times drama boy he
summed up the problem deity:
Blaming the critics for writing
unfavorable reviews is
frivolous way of putting the
cart before the horse.
No one would be silly enough
TO maintain that the successful
plays in the theater are the re-
suit of the critics genius and
clairvoyance.
The credit for good plays be-
longs TO the authors, directors,
actors and producers who have
created them.
1t is equally silly 10 blame
the critics for the failures; the
authors, directors, actors and
producers are responsible for
them. In the ideal sense good
plays eHgeHder good notices;
bad plays breed bad reviews.
For the function OF the critic
Is that of an experienced
theatergoer who differs from
other members of the audience
in the privilege he has Of print
ing his opinion in public"
A few weeks ago the critical
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-12-30

And If he needs money, why
doesn't he get his friend (who
bought the boaD TO repay the
$50 loan, or part Of it?
He writes me that he gets
everything he wants practically
free.
Even before he joined the
navy, he was little irrespon-
sible and always turned his
salary over to me to manage.
Although I had always been
frugal, l was inexperienced at
handling money; but learned.
However. l am afraid I've
spoiled him a little, by giving
In. usually, TO his demands and
wishes. because l wanted him
10 be happy.
/ realize its not much fun
being where he is.
But / Shasld think he wotiid
have some sense of respon-
sibility.
He IS not fighting. His job
Is repairing navy craft.
/ would like your opinion of
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-12-30

ment that I've got to have a
piano!
THE other day / ran into a
l. fellow / hadn't seen for
years and he said:
what are you doing for .
living these days."
said:
II am glad you asked mo
that. I have n good job a. an
unnecessary excrescence."
The fellow seemed mysti6ed
so / explained:
president Roosevelt said the
other day that columnists were
unnecessary excrescences. / am
not exactly sure what IL means
but Mr.. Roosevelt must think
it IL fiattering because Mrs.
Roosevelt Ii q columnist and he
would not be putting the slug
on his missus-"
II do not know how the
Presi dent feels about his
missus," said the fellow, but
do not think FDR meant to be
hattering. The dictionary de-
fines excrescence as an Alb
normal growth; a growing out
as hair IL an excrescence
from the scalp"
1iya! Pegler! You old ex-
creScence such as hair from the
scalp, you!
I SUPPOSE you read about
L that 17-year-old girl out in
Mishawaka, Ind, who become
so rapt in romance she sat on
a park bench, holding hands
with her sweetheart, unmind-
full that her feet were freezing.
The lovelorn damosel, Vir-
ginia Lewis, said she didn't even
realize her feet we're cold until
she tried 10 walk. and couldn't.
Somehow the story of Vir-
GINA and her frost-bitten feet
makes me feel awful old and
stodgyN 1 guess there must
have been a time when I'd sit
on a wintry bench and hold
hands. too. [N..
I hate to admit this-because
it's just like admitting the years
have turned one into a vege-
table. but I'm afraid I'd know II
today IL my feet were freezing.
In fact, il would take a hell OF
a lot OF romance to keep me on
a bench once they even got
chilly!
All, youth! Where Is that
rapture of yesteryear?
"Okay, / give up! Where Is
it."
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-12-30
JACK PICKERING

EDITORS NOTE-Cpl. Pick
ering, former Times eoIumnist.
is an infontryman at Fl. Me-
Cieilan, AIa. These writings are
excerpts from his letters to
friends at the office.
THE highball and button CAM
i paign is on again, and with
a vengeance. Ii seems to run
in streaks, and sometimes you
60 around saludng shadows
just to make sure that you
don't miss a salute.
We've had three or four
courts-martial in our company
alone this week, men who didn't
salute an officer, or were seen
in a restaurant without having
all their buttons buttoned.
It's perfectly possible to be
court-martialed for not having
one button fastened, although
I've never heard of the pos
sibility becoming fact. How
ever, some of our lads didn't
have their jacket buttoned, and
were tried and convicted And
there's nothing too exceptional
about a man being called up for
a court-martial for not saluting.
Not round here, anyway.
Back home, l noticed, hardly
anybody did any saluting. and
the same was true in Chicago.
But this isn't Detroit or Chi
cago.
WHEN I speak of a court
w martial, don't conjure up
too many tragic images. A
court-martial is like a trial in
civilian life, and there are
various levels. Just as you
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-12-30
BY DR.. Logan Clendening

WHILE IL isn't particularly
practical, IL rs stimulating
10 discuss which organ of man
has raised him from the status
Of the beast.
The eye while a wonderful
structure. is not as keen in man
as in many Of the lower animals.
The same may be said Of the
ear.
The argument really comes
down TO considering the claims
Of the brain, the hand and the
foot.
Our brains are superior for
such actions as thinking up holi-
days like Christmas, and patron
saints like Santa Claus. and for
reading Shakespeare and such
things. but the bird and the dog
have brains that are perfectly
sufficient for their purposes.
No other animals, except the
higher apes, have a hand which
in any way compares TO man.
and there are distinguished
anthropologists who have said
II was his hand which lifted
man from the beast.
But others argue for the feet
uNan alone stands on his two
\ ret erect, and uses them ex-
'~Clusively for locomotion.
The birds stand and rest on
two feet, but they do not use
them much for locomotion.
Certainly IL the argum
took the turn of which organ
could give the most trouble, the
feet would probably win.
Our hands do not really give
us much bother.
Occasionally some scrivener
gets writer's cramp. but that is
more or less of a rare event.
The feet have strain, whereas
the hands are free Of anything
like continuous strain.
They both are much alike in
that they are composed of a
number of small bones held to-
gether by ligaments, but the
feet are under the strain of the
weight Of the body and of pro-
pelling the body forward.
Again, the hands are left I'M
encased while doing their work,
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-12-30
WASHINGTON Scene
By George Dixon

THE ETC says Nelson-Hall
L has got TO stop represent
ing that as a result Of read
ing its book entitled Super Ju
Jitsu' an individual can defeat
armed persons and persons
twice his size with only his
bare hands, will be helped men,
tally, will be without fear or
hesitation, and will be enabled
10 think clearly with split sec
ond speed"
l only hope this does not
come as too much Of shock to
our boys in the armed forces. /
can picture their anguish when
they learn you have TO practice
ju jitsu instead of just reading
about IT!
The ETC may not care a fig
but il has also blighted my cul-
tural life.
was all set TO take piano
lessons by mail. But III bet the
minute do it. the ETC will
come out with an announce
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-12-30
BY George E.
Sokolsky

another generation put their
dollars in a savings bank or a
life insurance policy for the
proverbial rainy day.
And now you know that there
is no use saving for a rainy day
or for a hungry stomach. Mr..
Bowles has told you that il is
bad economies 10 be thrifty and
bad morals TO be honest with
yourself or your government.
He has proved to you that If
you want to save, don't save
stamps, save goods, save canned
foods, save butter, save cheese,
save jars of things, but do not
save stamps.
He has proved that profligacy
is virtue and thrift vice.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-12-30

while the feet are shod with
heavy, nonresident her,
commonly called shoes. and con-
trapuons of cloth or wool COM
monty called stockings. and all
their activities take place in
side these contraptions.
No wonder, then, that
prominently orthopedist says
that al! the troubles Of the feet
can be explained on the basis
Of one Of three factors: ID
variations in structure at the
time Of birth. so that they are
not able 10 withstand the severe
usage they undergo throughout
life; GU the manner in which
the foot is used. including the
influence Of disease, injury and
Infection; CD the harm ia !
effects of shoes and stockings.
The first group Includes such
conditions as congenital club
foot and congenital flat foot.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-12-30

majority panned a play because
they considered 1t mystical
and confusing" But when
Saroyan is mystical and con-
fusing. the same ailse-sitters
hail him as a genius.
THE lives Of many stage and
i screen stars are packed
with more drama than any
show or film they appear il No
script contains the emotional
wallop of this true story: For
the last five months of her life
Marie Dressler's illness let her
be up for a few days, then
down again-getting worse all
the time. Each week. no mat
ter how busy he was, l.. B.
Mayer used to take his brief
case full of scenarios to her
home. Her illness was never
mentioned. Mayer merely dis
cussed plans for the future.
exactly as If she was still work.
ing. Right through the last
week of her life Miss Dressler
remained cheerful and happy
because of such thoughtfuiness.
The fabulous Sarah Bernhardt
once offered this bit of wisdom
TO any one who was anxious
success:
Zone half Of knowing what
you wants knowing what you
must give up before you get 1t.
Copyright BY Daily Mirror, Inc.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-12-30
GEORGE BERNARD SHAW

GEORGE BERNARD SHAW
" rates the accolades his nim-
BILE mind has earned. His
squelches are considered classics
of wit. However, If any one
else uttered such remarks II
would be considered insulting,
rude and an invitation to
BLOODY nose. 1t is something
yfor psychiatrists to ponder.
Shaw was once trapped into at
tending a dull dinner party.
The hostess seated herself be-
tween George and a pretty ac-
tress and gushed: "How de-
lighted ! am to find myself
between Wit and beauty" Shaw
promptly knocked the wind out
of her by adding: "And without
possessing either!"
THIS story should be displayed
L in theatrical museum. 1t
offers a unique example of ac-
tresses praising each other.
That's about as rare as a palm
tree in Siberia.
Actress Margaret Anglin once
left this note In the dressing
room of her fellow thespian,
Mrs. Fiske: Margaret Anglin
says Mrs. Fiske is the best ac-
tress in America"
Mrs. Fiske read IL, inserted
two commas and sent IL back to
Miss Anglin. 1t read: Mar
garet Anglin. says Mrs. Fiske,
is the best actress IN America"
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-12-30
Letters From
A Soldier

ground forces. was a plain,
ordinary private at the time,
but happened to be filling in
for a sergeant. So when the
major arrived, I snapped up TO
the best att tion / could
muster, reported to him-and
nearly fell over when the major
stuck out his hand and shook
hands. It's something that
happens only occasionally, and
I've had first sergeants tell me
that it usually throws them for
a loop, too. You just get out
of the habit of shaking hands
in the army. Especially with
majors.
Well, to get back to this in
spection, 1 suddenly discovered
that we had some blown fuses
that ought to be exchanged for
good ones right away, so I
grabbed them and started for
the supply depot.
I'd gotten only a block away.
and turned the first corner.
when I saw a car with a flag
bearing four stars. ! was so
founded I probably
wouldn't have remembered TO
salute-and there I'd have been
with a court-martial all my
own.
But fortunately the owner OF
the four stars wasn't in the
car. He was in B company in
speeding. The owner of the
four-star flag was, Of course,
Gen. George G.. Marshall, chief
of staff, who three days later
was to become five-star gen.
eral.
Well, I just kept going and
looked after my blown fuses.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-12-30

If she does, she is going to
come out like the young woman
who said TO her physician, How
soon will l know anything, Doc
tor, after / come out from under
the anesthetic?" We'll" he re-
piled, that's expecting a good
deal of an anesthetic." Seems TO
me this answers the question.
People ought 10 pull Through II
their mates live up 10 \around %
percent of their expectations. If
they live up TO 662s per cent,
the vile should shout Hallelujah.
2-This is itself a highly con-
troversial question; but ] think
psychologist Edward L. Thorn
dixie has answered il. He says
they should be taught, provided
the students are required 10
study them by scientific methods
and not with the emotions. He
says, schools should lead pupils
TO weigh evidence. not be moved
by it,"
3-There Is nothing better,
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-12-30
II. ". DURLING

wearing a British uniform when
captured and condemned 10
death as a spy. Other says Hale
wore civilian attire.
A-When captured by the
British Nathan Hale was dis
gulsed as Dutch school
teacher.
Q-Who introduced the song,
I've Got a Pain in My Saw
dust?
A-Kltty Cheatham. This
ditty which was about doll
was also sung In vaudeville by
Villa Holt Wakefield.
Q-As 10 major leaguers
claSSed 4-F. What was the per-
centage of players in the Ma
tional League last year who had
this classification
A-There were 1913 National
Leaguers In 1914 who had been
classified AZ by their draft
boards. That would be around
SO per cent OF those eligible TO
play.
ENfaE WEST has lasted" OBJ
WI served Edward Nj a k s,
."because She IL natural and
persistent" (Mae has been on
the stage and screen for 80
years.
IN most houses and apart
ments there are not enough
full-length mirrors. So states
a feminine subscriber. Build
ers should keep that in mind.
Perhaps there should also be
several rear view mirrors in all
houses. Then the ladies could
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-12-30
DEAR MARY HAWORTH:

DEAR MARY HAWORTH:
MY HUSBAND is in the navy.
IVA stationed In New Guinea Of
recent months.
He Is 35 and I am 30 and we
have been married 10 years.
We have no children.
Some time ago. he sent me
$3.50 TO put in the bank.
Part Of il was his pay and
part was money he won in a
dice game.
A month later. he wanted
$50 back to lend to a friend
WHO was buying a boat, he
said.
/ sent the money, as I con-
sidered it belongs 10 him, not
me.
Now. three weeks ago. he
asked for 500 more. TO pay off
a gambling debt, he says. /
haven't sent il yet; and / feel
that I shouldn't send IL.
We are trying 10 save money
TO buy a home after the war.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-12-30

The heart Of pomGn tastes no
truer joy,
Is neUer fdttered Nth such dear
enchdRtmeRt
A UheR she hears the praises
Of the man she ioUes.
50 Thomson.
(Above is in our Horses e.
Women file No. 98A which is
headed: "One hundred things
a young husband should know"
A LII newspapermen of ex-
"A perience have the habit OF
checking on statements read or
heard. This is an excellent
habit. Still, IL can take up a
lot of time. For example, l just
read that when man is fully
dressed he has 20 buttons on his
attire. This includes overcoat
buttons. 1t was also claimed the
average man has "a pockets. OF
course, / had TO check on that.
i found ! had only 40 buttons
and II pockets. OF course l
don't wear a vest. But even so.
il looks as if l have been
cheated.
QUERIES from clients. Q-Is
VI there horse racing in Paris
at this time?
Ayes, sir. Seven days a
week.
Q-T'he incident OF German
soldiers in this war putting on
U. S. uniforms to act as spies
has started an argument be-
tween a couple Of corporals.
One claims that in our Revolu-
tionary War Nathan Hale was
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-12-30
Brain Game Answers

with France. They are the
names of ruling French dy-
nasties since earliest times.
New York is the only state
that touches on the st.
Lawrence.
SO is correct.
New York Yankees.
5-Good luck.
6-Yokohama, agoya and
Kobe are on HenshH. Yawata
Kobe are on Honshu. va
wata and Sasebo are on
Kyushu.
Frederic Chopin, Nicholas
Copernicus and Ignac
Paderewski.
S6High blood pressure.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-12-30

Dec 81
No. i7-valld Jan. through Jan. 81.
PROGRESSED FOODS
Blue Ks through B-7-Vaiid linden
nitely
Blue Ca. pa. Ia, Pa, G-7-valid
Jan. 1, indefinitely.
MEATS, CHEESE, FATS
Red Q-s through S-s-valid indefinitely,
Red is, Us. VS.. VS. and N-s-Nalid
Dec 81. indefinitely.
one 10 salvage Fat good fof 4 cents
and two meat ration points.
SUGAR
stamp n, Boob a-valid Indefinitely.
probably.