The Waterbury Democrat., 1944-05-12
THINGS I NEVER KNEW TIL
NOW

4MAN0S I NEVER KNEW HI
NOW
(AbOut the Hitler Gang
Hitler was never either q house,
painter or q paper-hanger, (He was
very poor artist who at one time
used to put his paintings in an oven
70 antique" theIn.) He has
a longer lige than Napoleon 1927
and Alexander the Great (S2), but
Caesar died at So and Genghis
Khan at IS Although Adolf's
father was named Schicklgruber
der rat who became der fuehrer was
never called that Hitler's father
was q ne'er-do-we who died in
the belief his son was a zero {.
The old man wed three times. At
~ he married a woman Al at 48
he married O girl IS At the end
of World War l Adolph trimmed
his Won Hindenburg-type mustache
TO the ridiculous lip-patch he wears
today.
GOering dOteS on caviar, regard
less Of his aversion to other things
Russian (such as the Red Army I,
and gobbles 1t by the spoonful &.
Mussolini never liked him because
his outthrust chin and affected
swagger were too much like Finito's
-. When he has time for 1t, Goer-
ing goes hunting on his estate for
animals that are delivered to his
home regularly Speaking of
animals: His BrownShirt gorillas,
In the early days, wore rings held
by two sharp blads conveniently
released by a spring when the oc-
casion called for it Goering
says he's o descendant of Charlie
Inagne. He's the last Of the line
=. All the way down AS low
as you can get.
GOebbels took violin lessons when
young Starlets of UFA, the Ger
man motion picture concern, are
given keys to Goebbels' apartment
and told to use them Mrs. Goeb-
bells had at least 20 affidavits charg-
ing her husband rs cheat, but
no lawyers would take case &.
Nazi Gregor Strasser and his clique
always claimed Goebbels had Jewish
blood and pointed to his club foot
as a proof of mixed race, accord
ing to that excellent book, Der
Fuehrer," by Konrad Heiden i.
GoebbelS once wrote Communist
opponent In an attempt to prove
Communism and National Socialism
were the same: you and I are
fighting one another, but we are not
really enemies. Our forces ares plit
up and we never reach our goal
Himmler Is the only one TO get
away with initiating der fuehrer's
nustache, and even that Is an un-
reasonable whacksimile Robert
Ley, creator OF the German labor
front quaffs pint OF brandy before
breakfast {. Fritz Won Papen be-
camO military attache to Washing
ton on the strength Of his wife's
money. He twice ftiiled the en-
trance exams to the War Academy,
yet he wore the insignia Of the Gen.
eral Staff Won Ribbentrop got
rid of Rooster and Won Hoesch Ger
man ambassadors to France and
England respectively with shots in
the arm which produced air en-
bolus Julius Streicher, leading
anti-Semite, had his early teaching
career cut short by a four-year
stretch for attacking nine-year old
girl.
A. Hitler's complexion Is pasty-
his thin hair bristles-uncombed and
tfidifferent-dandruff on his Shout
ders is habitual. Because Hess had
the habit of flicking dandruff Off
Adofs shoulders and Strengthening
the Hitler tie, he won for himself
the sobriquet of "fraulein" among
the top Reich rowdies Hitler's
eyelids are puffy and his eyes are
always in downward shift 1t was
joke among newspapermen be-
fore the war that Schickl would
avoid direct glance and when
caught at 1t would scurry out Of
the room or, with sense of guilt,
turn on the starer and attack him
indirectly by rasping a deprecaotry
remark about a cause with which
the "glancer" was connected.
GOebbels attended six universities
and entered Heidelberg on the
strength Of a scholarship from q
Jewish professor named Gundolf
When Hitler spent his early
days In a Viennese flophouse, the
only man who befriended and
helped him was a Jew named Neu-
mann . Nazi street fighting tao
tics originated at the world pre-
niiere of "All Quiet on the Western
Front" the most pacifistic of all
German pictures. The Hitler gang
objected to Remarque's theories.
GOering is credited with shooting
down SO planes in the last war,
mostly because he believed in taking
credit for planes not definitely
claimed by some member Of his out
fit Alfred Rosenberg used to
write in his Voelkischer Beobach-
ter that Mussolini was backed by
Jewish capital from America, and
Streicher merely tagged II Duce as
a Jewish hireling .. The scar on
Rudolf Hess hand was made by a
flying beer mugg in a hofbrauhous
brawl Censors stopped Para
mount from showing boys in
Roehm's room in The Hitler Gang"
scene, which records his murder
Hitler's inferiOrity compile express
es itself in his affinity for slim,
blonde American dancers-the COM
plete antithesis of the heavy -hipped,
thick-legged German type. He never
actually attempted to WOO them, yet
several had to endure the erotic pic
lures the Nazis turn out in great
number 1. =. Before his rise to power,
Hitler was night club rounder and
liked 10 eat caka with q hacknnrntnd