The Wilmington morning star., 1944-01-12
With
The AEF
Nv KENNETH L. DIXON

D.
the hillside fighting to control his
trembling nerves. The planes had
gone. Their bombs had fallen sew.
eral hundred yards down the val.
ley. Their bullets had been closer.
Methodically, as though it were
an old battle, the Kid pulled him.
self together. He shook crumbled
cigarette out of his pockets, stuck
lit into a pair of lips surrounded bv
fuzzy beard patches blackened by
mud.
He pulled out matches whose red
white and blue cover said Invest
In The USA, Buy War Bonds"
and lit the cigarette. His words
were unexpected.
"You got a tough job" he said
Nothing you can write can make
the folks back home understands
what it's like Its impossible. Tbev
can't understand, and it isn't their
fault. Nobody could understand IN.
less he's been through it."
The Kid was a line infantrvman
His outfit had been in reserve
for a couple of days. 1t was goi7a
back into the lines shortly.
"It's funny he said, But its
the loneliness that always gets me-
I knew I'd be afraid. Everybody
l. s R,1t T never thought about IN
ing lonely
Lying there. the relief of still
being alive flooding over me in
Strengthening waves, l knew what
he meant Other soldiers had said
it before. often with puzzled tones
and on the slopes of San Pietro
had learned again and again
what loneliness can be.
1 had been the same a few mo-
ments before when the planes
came and the ack-ack gun shook
the hillside and the valley. First
there was blind panic as l scram-
bled frantically for cover There
was none. Then panic went away
and left only fear-a sensible fear
which, like the sense of pain, can
save your life. l flattened on the
hillside. both knees skinned from
the diving fall.
Then, lying there waiting for bull
lets, bomb fragments or flax which
seemed sure to strike my exposed
back, suddenly even fear disap-
peared in the face of the most
terrible loneliness I've ever known
This is it." I thought. And you
didn't think it could happen to you
Even the grass under your nose
looks foreign, doesn't it? You're
all alone, completely forgotten-a
million miles from everybody you
know-and they're probably going
fright on with their everyday lives
now and you're going to get it now
on a hillside in foreign land you
don't give damn about"
Mingled in with that Loneliness
was a quick regret that l wouldn't
ever do all the things I've wanted
to: a wish that my wife wouldn't
take it too hard, and even a touch
of pride because when death seem
ed to be sweeping inevitably up the
valley on the wings of strafing
plane I wasn't as afraid at the end
as l always thought I'd be
But most of all was more lonely
than I've ever been before. That S
what gets you," said the kid, Its
the feeling that you're going to be
killed and not soul in the world
knows about it. How can you make
people understand that feeling"
In the silence that went begging
for an answer the ripple of Ger
man machine pistols fluttered over
the hill. The Kid jerked his thumb
in the direction Of the so''r,,
That's funny, too he said
mashing out the cigarette.
Il stopped one of those bastards
with my rifle the other day. Had
to stand up and shoot him after
he'd hit a couple other guys. Didn
kill them. They said 1 had a lot Of
CUTS. but it wasn't that. Just
didn't realize what was really hep
pening
"Once, when l was a kid, the
Kid said slowly. Il dreamed | was
being pushed off a cliff, but Gown
underneath 1 knew it was a dream
all the time so I just quit holding
back and jumped - and woke up
II was like that the other day
like a dream or a game. | knew
il wasn't real, so l. stood up anu
shot. But how can you write ABOUT
J an unreal feeling like that so PEI,
pie back home will understand II
doesn't make sense
, 1t still didn't make sense neH'
morning when I met the ll''e-
: bearers bringing the dead Gown
the ravine and laying them oesioe
the trial for the truck to Dick w,
I knew the Kid was among them
Ieven before l asked the sergeaH',,
He pointed at the blanket coVeIe"
bodies. Only thriefeet sA0|@
muddy CT shoes pointing upward
Nobody knew how he got II.
whether it was suddenly, in liasN
of unreality, or slowly after W'lF
ing and sweating it out, all aI0I''