The Ypsilanti daily press. (Ypsilanti, Mich.) 1928-1962, 1944-07-21
Observations
Lions Roar From
Washington Zoo,
Not Africa
BY Helen EssAry

story. But IL just suONS Nhat SUES
on in Washington. \ taxicab
driver told it 10 me when 1 quite
properly inquired why he was
laughing all by himself in tho
pause before the red light broke
down to Co!
Lady" he said. II can't help
laughing when | think OF how
that poor guys family must have
felt when they got the letter from
him. You see, it was this way.
The guy had been invaded home
from Africa. lie had been through
a pretty rough time over there and
his folks down in the mountains
OF Tennessee weren't quite sure
how he had come through the
trouble
when he got TO town here some
friends who have a house over
near the zoo asked him to stay for
a couple OF nights Ever stay near
the zoo? Well, anyhow, a few days
later got a wire from the guys
father saying. Please tell me the
truth about Joe's condition. Have
doctor see him at once. Afraid
his mind has gone off
We'll. naturally, | stirred myself
little and found out that Joe
was in pretty good shape. Moth
ing wrong with his mind. But |
cot him out TO Walter Reed for a
check.up. Anyhow, | found out
that Joe was all right. So | sent
a wire 10 his pa and asked what
made him think Joe was sour.
Right smack came back a long
night letter. Something like this
Joe wrote his mother that he was
having a nice time in Washington
and everything was fine except that
the roar OF the lions kept him
awake at night. His mother de-
cided that Joe must be imagining
he was back in Africa again and
got worried Please tell US the
truth. Answer, collect he wrote,
is Joe crazy%
Il thought and thought about
lions roaring. What could Joe
mean? Then like a flash had
the thing doped out. Joe's friends.
the ones he visited, lived near the
ZOO. Just like | told you. And.
sure enough, those lions inside
the cages there do make a lot OF
noise. In the middle OF the night
some times. They below enough
10 shake the house down. But |
decided I'd have little fun out OF
the thing myself. So wired Joe's
PATEL Joes mother not TO wor'
~. The only lions in Washington
that aren't in cages are wandering
around the streets. And they're
getting harmless and will be most
ly packed off on the first Monday
in November. Joe's o. X. Ha.
Ha, Wasn't that a good answer?
Believe me, lady. Washington
gets dopier and dopier."
Some idle thoughts of my own
Seems as IL War Mobilization Di-
rector James F. Byrnes were the
handy man OF the, Roosevelt era.
Whenever the administration comes
upon a snag or a knot that is hard
10 smooth off. somebody cries
Let Jimmy do il! Jimmy's the
man for that job"
Jimmy has a talent for not max
ing anybody mad. He doesn't
seem 10 be around the place so
much. But he certainly does saw
4 lot OF wood.
You never hear Of Jimmy Byrnes-
making the wrong remarks. Or
expressing himself too loudly. One
explanation for this useful reti-
cence may be the habit OF the
former senatorformer supreme
court justice-former congressman
70 accept no social invitations.
Jimmy Byrnes and Maud, his wife,
never 90 10 evening parties.
Another one of my worries OF
the moment is, how are you going
10 tell who are the heather nova
days? Time was when | was very
young, you could easily tell who
the heather was or were. The su-
perintendent OF the Sunday School
said he was a fellow who believed
in scalping and boiling in oil and
tormenting with red-hot sticks and
would you please save up your
pennies 10 pay the gentle mission
ary's room and board in the south
seas or. Timbuctoo so that the mis-.
sionary could teach that cruel
beathen TO be like US. To practice
Christian virtues. kindness and toll
erance.
II occurs to me that it's time the
inhabitants OF the south sea islands
and Timbuctoo passed a weekly
mite box for us civilized peoples.
We've sunk TO the depths of saw.
agery. And we knog II.
Once asked a barbarian who
had feudal barony on top OF
mountain in Africa what he thought
wher he looked toward numbering,
flaming Europe.
II think" said the barbarian
slowly, Il think, How those Chris.
tians love each other"