The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1944-08-11
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WHY. DOCTORl

AhAuo IA, ID " N0tAu SU UM uOWu tuO
alphabet), but he says it is time to
halt excessive claims. We are with
the medicO. Too many claims are
being made that vitamins will do
everything up to and including the
recOnditi0ning Of hair sofa, the
elimination Of birdshot wounds and
the lifting Of fallen arches.
-
''Try a bottle of this remarkable
pale ale tonight" says the radio
voice, "and get these important vita
minis that will cure general debility,
cross-eyes, low blood pressure, mea-
sles and cigarette breath"
| -
"Do you sometimes feel q little
below par?" says another air-wave
pleader. care there moments when
you are not the life of any gathering?
Rush out now and buy loaf Of Nc
Swiffey's bread, so full Of vitamins
that you will never again know what
1t is to feel off FORM"
-
You no sooner swallow that one
than an announcer shouts: "Begin
wolfing these remarkable gumdrops
today. Full Of vitamins A, B, c, D
and E; they will put you in such
shape that you will never know a
days illness!"
Then to top it off comes one of
those jingles:
Would you be fine American
A credit to the land?
Buy Superdooper Nuttybars,
And chew to beat the bandit
It's being overdone to q point
where thousands of Americans who
really need vitamins get sore at
the very mention Of them.
Elmer Twitchell thinks there is
fortune in It for the maker of any
American product who will 60 on
the air with the simple statement
to the unpitied audience:
81 offer you this product with no
claim whatever except that it Is the
best I know how to produce. Pm
mot quite sure myself just what
health-giving properties are i'm it. All
I want the public to know is that
whatever vitamins may be involved
are entirely accidental"
-
But Mr.. Twitchen may be biased.
He fell badly for brand of animal
crackers sold to him on the repre-
sentation that it had vitamin that
would eliminate buckteeth, cure
charley horse and add 20 yards to
his drive.
MRS. DEWEY'S VIEWPOINT
"Mrs. Dewey said she would not
make speeches, talk on the radio or
write for the newspapers. "-(News
item.)
I will not write a column,
Nor talk by radio;
I'll make no lecture tours,
Or round the nation go;
II get in the White House
I'll stick to plain brass tacks;
Let Thomas run the country
And Just let me RELAX!
No syndicate can touch me,
I'LL show no writing style
With men like Westbr00k Pegler
And Simms and Ernie Pyle;
I'll not record my doings-
I'll merely be wife;
Let Thomas have the spotlight,
/ crave the peaceful life.
will not give Endorsements
For beds or books and such;
I'll have mo- platform manner,
Nor literary touch;
I'll have no railroad schedules;
No bugles will sound;
II get to the White House
think I'll stick around.
feel it must be pleasant
To occupy the place,
And do a little sitting
And set no dizzy pace;
Let Thomas get the headlines,
Red, black or green or pink;
The White House must be lovely
When one would sit and think.
| To keep it nice and cOzy-
To see the cO0king's right
To be around when Tommy
Is lonesome is my delight;
I'LL s00the him when he's fretful,
And cheer him when he's gruff;
Just staying in the White House,
Gosh, CANNOT be SO tough!
DR.. Charles Kettering announces
that he developed rocket plane Is
years ago, as did Lawrence Sperry;
and that since the Nazis decided to
resort to this type of thing, we are
certain to produce something bigger
and better. Can't you imagine the
howl the Nazis will put up about
brutal and uncivilized tactics when
this happens?
There are certain serious short