The midland journal., 1944-12-29
The Red Man and the
White House

uidl, he says, ne mas lOuiiu iuin
notable for probity, complete patri-
otism, extreme loyalty and humani-
tarianism.
But we can't help doubling that
any good Indian with a proper re-
spect for his backgrounds and ira
ditiOns would take 1t. We often won
der what an Indian, driven out Of
his native land as a savage, thinks
Of the setup with modern civilization
I'm control.
We took the matter of the presi-
dency up with Chief Looping Gazelle,
an old friend, today with the follow
ing results:
Q.--John Collier says the Presi-
dency Of the United States Is open
to an Indian,
A.--Chief Looping Gazelle very puz-
zled. John Collier never scare Red
man this way before.
Q.-You don't understand. The
presidency is the highest gift within
the hands Of the American people.
A.-Indian take smaller gift.
Q.-White men are very happy
to be president.
A.-White men no look it.
Q.-Think of what it means: you
can live in Washington
A.-Indian do nothing to deserve
such hard punishment.
Gas president you can be
looked up to as the man to whom
the people bring all their troubles.
A.-Ugh.
Gas president you would have
the opportunity to give the people
good government.
A.-White man have too much
government. Indian happier behav-
ing self Of his own accord.
Q.-YOu don't seem to appreciate
the offer. Yours would be the great
privilege Of bringing greater COM
forts to all the people.
A.-White man got heap funny
ideas what he needs to be comfort
able. Red man comfortable with
tepee, pipe, few feathers, one pony
and chance to enjoy nature. White
man have to have auto, gas, first
mortgages and time payments.
-
Gas president an Indian would
be among those world leaders
charged with preserving civilization.
A.-Civilization today not look so
hot to Indian.
Q.-Why not?
A.-Savagery of early Redskins on
much higher level.
-
Q.-Don't You think IL would be a
good thing If an Indian got q right
to be president?
A.-Only if Indian refuse.
Cit would mean SIS, 900 a year,
free lodgings, eminence and white
influence.
A.-Indian think 1t no bargain.
Q.-But try to realize the honor Of
being the first Red man to be
president.
A.-Indian no make good presi-
dent.
Q.-Why not?
A.-Squaw too busy to write for
newspapers.
CIT is not necessary for squaw
to write for newspapers and make
speeches.
A.-Indian read newspapers. He
know better than that.
Now the OPA has taken to radio
jingles, more's the pityl This comes
over the air now and then:
Potatoes, are cheaper, tomatoes are
cheaper
Join in with your OPA;
The butcher, the baker, the candle
stick maker
Are under control today.
-
We expect any day to hear:
Cucumbers are lower and spinach
is lower,
Fresh turnips are now quite buy;
Beans very extensive are not too ex-
pensive-
IT'S a regular meal that is high!
THE SHORTAGE GROWS
Elmer Twitchell insists he saw a
half dozen vice presidents Of one
Of Americas great financial institu-
tions scouting for cigarette butts the
other day.
The OPA announces that It has
come out for the return of the nickel
cigar at q price Of 7h cents. What
this country needs, in other words,
Is q good 71z-cent nickel.
II looks as II the only chance
American sailors have to see the
Jap feet Is to get hold Of an old
Jap newsreel.
Ed Stettinius Is such q handsome
secretary of state that no movie
company would cast him as a secre-
tary Of state.
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