The Wilmington morning star., 1944-05-10
BY wEsrBRooK PEGLER

his readers HIS ArtcleS serve the GOOD purpose OF
making people think.
BY WESTBROOK PEGLER
NEW YORK, - There was a sound Of crash
ing glass; accompanied by something that
could have passed for imprecations, in the
cellar of The Spelvins' love bower the other
night and George Spelvin, American, put down
his paper to make inquiries
''What seems to be irritating my treas
ure?" Mr. Spelvin hollered down the stairs
three times before he was able to make him.
self heard above the clatter.
"Crazed housewife suddenly goes beserk, ="
Mrs. Spelvin replied. Explains II am glad
did it, mutters incoherently about last year
victory garden and drudgery of canning peas,
beans, carrots, dandelions, applesauce, beets,
and burdock.
The crashing sounds resumed and Mr.. Spell
vim, with a prudence born Of considerable ex-
perience in emotional crises, waited for his
helpmeet to resume her account voluntarily.
"All summer I am out hoeing and wedding
that lousy garden and snatching the feathers
off those dumb chickens and cutting my fin
gers off peeling things because, if I don't
my loved ones are Going to Starve to death
and I am a sturdy throwback to my pioneer
ancestors Mrs. Srelvin said. "All winter l
watch the papers for the famine. and when I
BARNS, you would think was trying to feed
them ground glass; No, they don't want to
eat our precious little hoard. They will be
brave and eat grocery store canned goods,
until no more can be had. But always more
can be had, and now there is blue mold and
seaWeed floating around on the precious little
hoard, and those buns all of sudden yell,
April fool, you old fool and the country has
got so much canned goods not even the Rus
slams and the Arabs and the Chinese will
take it off our hands; and now, what do
you know, those mugs take look In the
cooler and discover we have got 30 much
meat that it is our patriotic duty to eat meat
three meals day and it was all joke about
the way they got me to pot those chickens
and those no-account scraWny fish that my
wonderful, resourceful hero, another worthy
descendent of the hardy pioneers caught last
summer at great sacrifice of his comfort up
at Lake Ooftygoofty.''
'Is my treasure taking inventory" Mr. Spell
win inquired softly.
/ "Your treasure is tossing our precious little
hoard into C. 1. can, bottles, crooks washers
and ALL and with tremendous smash) there
goes the last two of those dumb, corkeyed
| Rhode Island Reds that I stuffed all that
chicken feed into last summer And these
sounds of blows heard coming up the stairs
from the scene of the carnage are the mad
dened dupe of the scurvy deceivers chopping
down the shelves where these grapes of wrath
are stored And if I hear any sound OF ban
tering mockery from you, My IDEAL 1 will
part your hair with this axe and I am just
the one who can do it. ought to come up
there and make you eat every one of these
damn fish right now, and couple of crooks
of these picked green tomatoes, done with
dill Just like your mother used to make and,
boy how you were going to feast your silly
expressionless face them when we got
down to hard pan last February"
| Mr.. Spelvn ventured slowly down the stairs
heaved the G. l. can on his shoulders and
set it out by the curb. When he came back,
his toothsome morsel of Tightly American fem
Unity was sitting in his chair, waving his news
paper Look at this she squawked. "Red
stamps R, So, become valid Sunday and sc
forth and so on until you don't know whether
you are planning a meal for your family or
betting on automobile numbers. Don't bother
to tell me what it means, because 1t won
mean the same thing tomorrow, II 1t ever
did. And do you know what I am going to do
tomorrow, First thing? I'm going to organize
the Elmview Heights de-gardenlng club and
I am going to get out there with five gallons
of the strongest weed killer l can ina ano
I'm going to de-gardenize every tomato plant
and onion and shoot and sprlg IN that olzzy
PATCH and get me some petunlas ana pahsles
and geraniums and mess of seeds ana pian'
me the SWEETEST flower garden you ever saw
and if they are playing another one OF tnel1
l Jokes and it comes next winter no-1oonng
low-down. hungry famine, that is certainly
going to be a laugh on my loved ones
| -V
Clothing is so scarce in Africa, we read
that men are using their vests TO patch
their pants In a climate like Africa
Il
We know definitely that between 10 anu ~
German vicilians are executed INSIDE ger
many every day for expressing deteaust We've
and making -Hitlerian remarks.
i president Eduard Benes Of Czechoslovakla