davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-06-19
WASHINGTON Scene
BY George Dixon

DEP. FRANK B. KEEFE of
IL Wisconsin is unable 10 buy
any new underwear.
The reason is that he is too
large. He is 6 feet 4 and
weighs In the neighborhood of
240 pounds-which Is one of the
most rapidly developing neigh
borhoods in town.
The fault, according 10 Mr..
Keefe. lies somewhere between
the War Production Board and
the Office of Price Administra-
ton. For short. / have decided
to call them the WPB and OPA,
respectively. You may use
these authorizations, too, If you
Matchmaking sure, OF course,
that you give me proper credit.
Because of the joint machina-
tions of WPB and OPA-ac-
cording to Mr.. Keefe--it is
impossible to get neither lingerie,
meaning shorts, larger than size
46. The smallest he can get
into-even using a shoehorn--
is size so.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-06-19
QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS

DEP. KEEFE. who halls from
~ Oshkosh--and, if you know
any gags about Oshkosh, keep
them-said he does not regard
it as at all fitting for an elected
representative Of the people to
be going around undrawered.
Furthermore. he has been
forced to listen TO some very
obnoxious cracks whenever he
airs his plant.
1t seems there are people so
utterly callous and lost to all
human sympathy that they see
something funny in the pros
pect of a 240-pound congress
man bereft of his shorts.
He has also received much
gratuitous, and worthless adj
vice, as to what to do when his
present supply Of undertakings
wears out-coupled with a re-
hinder that he is a Republican.
and that il Is well for a Re-
publican TO be sure he is ade-
quately girdled at all times.
This sort of thing, needless
TO say. tears the very fabric of
democracy. And-as Rep. Keefe
points out-this is no time for
fabric-tearing.
NEVERTHELESS. the Wis
~ consin solon would have TO
put up with il a while longer,
he told me. but for a constitu-
ent whose plight is even worse.
MIR Keefe has a couple of
changes left. but the constitu-
ent has no remaining underwear
whatsoever.
The drawerless voter is Raw
Moody. also of Oshkosh. He is
60 and weighs 260 pounds.
In a letter to his congress
man. Moody said he had written
TO dry goods establishments all
over the country and had not
been able to buy a stitch Of
underwear big enough.
81 will admit that I am fairly
big" Moody wrote Keefe. But
] was not too big to fight in
the last war and I am not too
big TO buy War Bonds. But the
WPB, or the OPA, won't let mo
have any shorts"
Moody said he had written to
OPA and had received a reply
that he could get his size shorts
at a certain establishment in
Toledo. o. But the store, he
said. sent back answer that
OPA was only kidding.
Distributed by King Features synd., Inc.
Reproduction IN whole or In part
strictly prohibited.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-06-19
One Word Led to Another
BY Arthur Bugs Baer-

Just got the annual prospectus from my favorite
hotel Although have visited in Is years they've
raised the rates me again.
Ever since 1919 my favorite hotel has been sending
me its prospectus single room with hot and cold
running water is $12 to S14 per diem. If you want it all
cold you get it cheaper. .
A double room with the amount of hot and cold
water is $40 to S24 day. Folks, when pay over 81
per diem for I'm going to stay in all the time and
admire it.
favote hotel has suites that go north to 500 per
day with lukewarm water tepd gossip and warmed-over
atmosphere
You know it must be in the mountains with those
uphill prices
I'm going to STAY right where / am and have them
bring that pney air down to me in nickel paper bags
Stick your head out of $50 window in the mountains
and what do you see? tree, cloud and two old folks
playing croquet foot never did for that weak
kneed polo anyway.
I'm going to ask you the $50 question If you paid
that much for don't you think it entities you to
foreclose the mortgage on the joint?
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-06-19
FULTON LEWIS .DR.
Washington Comment

(FuIton Levis Jr.. IN the first
part OF this article. Which APP
peared in Sundays Detroit
Times. pointed out that the fed
sraf judiciary 10 the umpire
which guards the Integrity Of
the rest Of the soVernment.)
GENERAL months ago the SUI
a. preme Court handed down
the famous Negro vote case. The
court decision. in speaking Of
the President, used the desig-
nation ruler" and there inn
mediately arose a Juror from
the editorial press as a result.
We don't have rulers IN
America. The fact that the
court used the word was taken
as another indication OF the
present drift away from self
government. Opposition news
papers were using il 10 drive
home the contention that the
government in Washington is
growing toward a one-man gov
eminent.
Last Monday the court made
the unusual move of officially
altering its record 10 eliminate
the word ruler" Republicans
already are contending that IL
was done TO stop possible polit-
ical damage that might result.
It's known that in the origi-
nal decision on the Texas vote
Casa decision that was highly
unpopular in the deep South
one member Of the court ex-
pressed his concern over the
time al which the decision was
handed down.
LII was Just before the Ala
la and Florida senatorial
c.,maries. and he was afraid
that il might adversely affect
the denomination of Senators
Lister Hill and Claude Pepper,
both staunch New Deal sup
porters.
IN THE meantime. there Is
i another case that could have
adverse effect on the Roosevelt
election fates-the test OF the
Texas labor registration law.
which requires union organizers
to register with the state gov
eminent.
That case has been pending
before the court and the prob
able decision date would have
been October--iust before the
election. But the court post
poned that decision date, by or
dering that the case be re-
argued, and the result Is that
the decision almost certainly
will be delayed until after the
election.
The Republicans will say that
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-06-19

a male ball team at Central
Park. She can swat a ball with
as much wallop as a man.
Harlem jitterbugs dancing on
the streets TO tunes from a
portable radio,
The Garment Center peddler
who wears ear muffs in the
warmest weather.
The midtown barber who
saves his money so he can pub
lish his own poetry.
The tall, uniformed doorman
at the Winter Garden. who
was in the cast Of Hot Mi
kado."
The blind mendicant (what a
showmanD who sings Cole Por-
ter's hit song from. Mexican
Hayride" just as the audience
exits for its intermission ciggie.
TTfE Orchid Garden: Jane
L Powell, the 14-year-old
find" for her performance in
Song Of the Open Road"
Eddie Cars amusing act at
the Roxy.
The Academy Award dra-
mates of Deanna Durbin in
Universals Christmas Holi-
day"
Louis Jordan's crew at the
Troc.
The book of cartoons by
Becky Reyher titled "Stork
Run"
The Woollcott reprint of the
Snyder-Gray trial In Scope.
AL NevTnan'S brilliant scor-
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-06-19
THESE DAYS
BY George E.
Sokolsky

harm and are partly responsible
for the recurrence of intensified
nationalism among the Ameri-
can people.
If these refugees butt into
our presidential election, we are
likely TO get rough with them.
When the American people
need their help. If ever, we'll
ask for 1t, but today, we're
feeding them. lending them
money, leasing them the NUM-
tions of war, and presenting
them with plenty that we could
use for ourselves.
And we don't owe any of
them anything. Therefore. they
ought gracefully to shut up and
if they insist upon yapping,
they may find themselves on
the unpleasant side of the ar
gument.
At any rate, there are
enough of us, Democrats as well
as Republicans, who feel that
way about 1t to make this at
titude stick.
The best thing a guest can
do is to watch that he does not
wear out his welcome.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-06-19
Air
Power

Germany was from destruction
when the sky attack was called
off.
But il Is precisely the indeci-
sion--the switching to another
strategic action before the first
one has been carried through
to conclusion-that will plague
us.
IF TT is. true. as airmen have
i contended. that the course of
this war has been heightened
by the dominance OF surface
military minds in the prewar
planning and ever since, then
the indecisive character of the
aerial battle of Germany will
have another negative result.
It will tend to raise the pres
tige and authority of these mill
tary "traditionalists," with the
consequence that aviation will
continue to be treated as an ac-
cessory element.
AS long as the question
whether air power can achieve
strategic victory Is unresolved,
our country must continue TO
build in unlimited quantities
weapons of unlimited variety.
almost Unfortunately, in or
der to conduct all sorts Of
strategies on land, on sea. and
in the sky.
This in effect means an I'M
limited military burden.
Only when a strategy clearly
dictated by modern conditions
and technology energies, when
fundamental military principles
are as obvious as they were in
the epoch of sea power, will it
be possible to concentrate on
what is really needed, slough
off excess baggage and thus re-
duce the burden of ornaments.
Distributed BY McNaught Syndicate, Inc.
-ses What YOU Made nj Air SHOW
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-06-19
MAJOR DE SEVERSKY

THE invasion Is well under
l. way and so far is proceed
ing successfully according TO
plan, under a powerful canopy
of air power. The die has been
cast and all Americans are
united in their efforts and
hopes for all out victory in the
colossal enterprise.
There are those who honest
~ favored a continuation of
the strategic offensive against
Germany from the air to the
point of decision.
Their view rested on new
military principles, brought
about by the advent of air
power, which have been the
subject of their lifelong study
and thought.
Among these, I have reason
to believe, were aviation Off
GERS now doing a magnificent
job in supporting the surface
operations.
Once a decision is taken,
there can be no room for dis
senting opinion so far as action
is concerned.
But as a matter of historical
record it ought to be noted
that one of the main military
question marks Of the second
World War is still a question
mark.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-06-19

Can a nation be knocked out
Of the war by direct and indie
pendent action of air power?
So far as the European the
alter of operations is concerned,
this question remains forever
unanswered.
TT IS not merely a theoretical
L question for the military pro-
fessionals to argue over. On the
contrary. it has direct prac-
teal implications.
We still have a war to win
against Japan, and thereafter
we face the problems of organ
izing our military force for the
maintenance of the peace.
Whether national strategy
can rest on air power is there
fore a subject that we are bound
to meet at every step.
There is no need to conceal
the fact that most airmen in
key positions feel that the aerial
battle of Germany was inter-
rupted and the European con-
flict was transferred to the
traditional surface struggle just
when success along aerial lines
was within Allied grasp.
Only after the true effects of
the air offensive are learned
will we know how close or how
far the military machine of
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-06-19
WALTER WINCHELL 1., On

CROSSTOWN Charac tiers:
~ Midnight Mary. a shriveled
nag who haunts the Main Stem
after dark. She boasts she
hasn't been out In the sun for
- years.
,e famed artist who re-
Is fabulous fees for por-
traits. But what he enjoys most
is sketching children at play in
the city's streets and giving
the sketches to them.
The bearded gent at City
Hall who makes speeches urg-
Ing people TO repent. Then
peddles bawdy booklets to them.
Groups of current events de-
baters near Union Square. Any
passerby can Join and holler.
The Main Stem song-sheet
salesman with a crisp line Of
patter. His cracks are funnier
than the routines of some radio
clowns.
The newsboy shouting head
lines in rhyme.
Small-time booking agents
who transact their monkey
business on the sidewalk.
Vaudeville and night spot
clowns testing new" routines
on each other in a midtown
coffeeteria.
Bush-league Napoleons dis
cussing military strategy at
Columbus Circle. They chalk
maps on the sidewalk TO en-
phasize their point.
The husky gal who plays with
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-06-19
On the
Side

less time the baby suffers. Any
mother can tell you why.
"If husbands want TO be help
full let them learn to do things
the right way and not try 10
show OF with what they think
Is efficiency.
when a husband helps his
wife I'm domestic tasks he rarely
does q good job; this goes from
drying the dishes to changing
diapers"
A SKIING queries from clients:
"A Q-In reply TO my ques-
ton as TO the character Of blue
eyed Swedish brunets, you
state you did not know any
females of that type. I am as
Stunning your terpris 81 n z
Horses & Women Department
has since looked into this mat
ter. How about 1t?
A-Regret we have nothing
definite as yet. However, we
have had some communications
from subscribers Of the type
you mention which seem to in
dicate the possession of n good
sense of humor. Our III. Il w.
operative No. SD, who has
ben trying TO find out why gray
horses who run 30 poorly on the
flat make such good jumpers,
has been relieved of that task
and assigned to study Swedish
blue-eyed brunets. We expect
his first report shortly.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-06-19
WHATEVER is published in

WHATEVER is published in
w the newspapers from the
war fronts passes military GEN.
sorship.
Therefore the accounts Of our
difficulties with De Gaulle and
the French are not to be taken
as the personal opinion of a
correspondent but represents
what military censorship is
willing TO permit the American
people to know.
think that IL ought to be
made clear to Gen. De Gaulle
and the French people that our
boys are dying in France for
the liberation of France and for
nothing that any American can
get out of it.
We do not wish to govern
Frenchmen.
We desire 10 defeat Hitler
and the German army as
speedily as possible and get
out of Europe, including
France. as speedily as possible.
1t ought also to be made
clear to Gen. De Gaulle and all
Frenchmen, even those who are
enjoying themselves as refu-
gees in this country, that dur
ing the next few months we
shall be conducting a political
campaign and we shall be call
ing our President a lot of
names.
But that is a family fight. We
are taking nothing from any
foreigners.
We Americans do not recog-
nize the right of any foreigner
to quarrel with him. We are
like that. It's the Irish in us.
IF GEN. DE GAULLE thinks
Il that Americans care whether
he or any other Frenchman
governs France, he is mistaken.
We're in his country TO kick
out the Germans, not to set up
a French regime.
If he or any other French
man prefers that the Ameri-
cans get out, he ought 10 say
so.
We could make other uses Of
our children than 10 have them
fight for a people who do not
want US.
And what Is more, IL any
American army is fighting any
where, IL will fight under Amer
lean generals in the American
way. without asking the con-
sent of anybody.
If De Gaulle does not like
the amount of wages American
soldiers receive and how they
spend their money, he can lump
it.
Until he has the wherewithal
10 do his own fighting, he must
limit himself TO taking what we
give France and the way we
give it.
A ND another thing: / get
"A around a good deak and I
listen to all the fattening refu-
gees who infest our country
giving us instructions on how
we ought to live. what we ought
TO do at present and in the
postwar era. of how much Of
our money we ought TO, spend
and how.
These folks are doing their
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-06-19

your flag and my flag.
"A blessing IN the sky;
Your hope and my hope,
10 never hid a liei
Your heart and mp heart
Beat quicker at the sight,
Sun-kissed and i0ind-tossed,
The red and blue and white.
The one fd0-the great flag,
The flag for me and you;
Glorifed all else beside,
The red and i0hite and blue.
Wilbur f. Nesbit.
THE trouble with most pipe
Il smokers is that they do not
fully understand pipe smoking
Tobacconists should start pipe
smoking schools. Or at least
write a book titled: How TO
Smoke a Pipe"
Most pipe smokers have but
one pipe. They should have a
different pipe for every day in
the week.
Not one pipe smoker In a
thousand knows how to pack a
pipe to get the maximum enjoy
ment from the smoke.
! am not a pipe smoker. but
feel sorry for these bewildered
fellows.
To test your ability as a pipe
smoker suggest you get a few
smokers together and hold a
contest.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-06-19
By DR.. Logan
Clendening

Cooper, but has to spend II
with Albert, the popular insur-
ance salesman.
We can't all write a "Gone
With the Wind" but we can
all take pepsin tablets.
We can't all be geniuses, but
we can all be dyspeptics- That
is why 1t is so common.
TT IS not remarkable then
L that in the great army of
dyspeptics there are so many
of these distract, dreaming. i'm
practical people.
Thank heaven for the great
army Of Flooding. unimaginative
hewers OF wood and drawers Of
water. those who cheerfully do
the leg work of the world, who
can eat anything, who are
proud OF their stomachs and
bowels, or who never knew
they had a stomach, those who
think that soda il used only in
baking, and believe cascara is
a town in Italy.
II these considerations are
true il would seem inevitable
that the first and most impor-
tant method Of treatment for
functional dyspepsia is psyche
therapy.
1t need not be an elaborate
Freudia an psychoanalysis: in
fact, better not be. but can con-
sist OF simple explanation.
Much of an internist's time is
spent convincing some unhappy
individuals that just because
they are full Of gas IL doesn't
mean they are going to float
up to heaven.
QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS
V. s.: What diseases would
cause the feet 10 swell around
the ankles?
A.-The commonest causes of
swelling of the ankles in the
order named are varicose veins,
phlebitis, overweight or obesity
and heart disease.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-06-19
T. v. DURLING

You each put one-eighth OF an
ounce OF tobacco In your pipe.
The man keeping his pipe go
ing the longest wins the contest.
Only one match is allowed for
lighting.
When a contestants pipe goes
out he is eliminated.
A good pipe smoker can keep
an eighth of an ounce OF tobacco
going about two hours.
DASSING by Johnny Weiss
l. muller, swimming marvel.
Has taken up golf and re-
Gently turned in card OF IL for
Is holes., That's very good
Still, golf courses have been
made easier to negotiate, the
balls are livelier and the wide
variety Of clubs available makes
II less difficult to get out of bad
spots. get greater distance,
height, etc.
Therefore score of II now
adays is about the same as a
score Of "a in years gone by.
600 A man claims he can
~ change n diaper In II sec
onds," writes a New Yorker.
That's an unthinking, boastful
egotistical male for you.
81 am q registered nurse and
II takes me go seconds. But 1
do IL properly. When done In
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-06-19

ing of the Aim. Woodrow VIII
son." In which lbs pieces Of
American music popular during
Wilson's era) embrace the ear.
ALAN HYND. author Of Be
"A trayal From the East" is
profiIing Init News chief j. v.
Connolly for Coronet.
Edgar Snow goes to Moscow
shortly-or has he? Nine.
Sun Yat-Sen is expected here
this year. Her local pals insist
China will have no civil war.
Hardship note: Dunhill's lin
its its cigars to 1000 per steady
customer.
M-G-M is interested in filming
"21," but only mildly so because
the owners want 1t very high
toned. Nothing about the
speakeasy days-21s most inter-.
esting era.
Newsweek's gag on the Mont
gomery Ward matter: The cor
poral who helped carry S. L.
Avery out of his office Is writing
a book titled: See Here, Pri-
vate Enterprise"
Ex-Cong. Florence Kahn Is
convalescing at her San Fran
cisco home after too long ILL.,
ness. She is known as "the
mother of the Omen"
One number in the next Copa
girl-show features shoes that
cost $40 a pair.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-06-19
Detroit Times Rationing Timetable
GASOLINE

GASOLINE
A Ceopcn il--3 gals. valid through
June 81.
rs and C-s Coupons gals. zach.
IA and ca Coupons--5 gals each.
claw requires state name and license
number be written on every coupon
when received
FUEL OIL
Period 4 and Period s-Valid through
Aus. 81.
LIQUOR
No. 10-valid through June 30.
SHOES
Airpisne Stamps I and f-Valid In
definitely.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-06-19
BETTER HEALTH

A fellow wants TO paint like
Rembrandt. but has to be con-
tent with interior decorating.
Or a gal would like to write
a great novel, but all she at
tains Is writing UP the house.
hold accounts.
Or he yearns for a divine
creature named Guinevere. but
he gets one named Piety. or
she visualizes life with Gary
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-06-19
Answer to Question No. 1

HusWCh W $uCssiou 3SOs Il
My choices would be: First.
will grow as my husband
grows?
Second: What opportunity will
I have to still be myself, culti-
vate my own interests and
friends -
Third: Will l always have to
ask him for money. not only for
personal, but for household ex-
penses?
Fourth: Has he any habits or
mannerisms that may become
irritating. even destructive TO
love. after marriage?
Answer to Question No. 9
No. because you never learned.
Unless you learn a thing. you
can't forget il. because you can't
get anything out of your head
that was never in IL. The rea-
son YOU did not learn IL was that
you were not interested.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-06-19

THE term dyspepsia" denotes
i not a diagnosis. but group
of symptoms related to diges-
ton for which a cause or more
usually a group OF causes must
be sought by the physician.
Most often In the case OF dys-
pepsia il is not exactly dis
ease such as gallstones. but a
naladjustment or Illustration in
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-06-19
PROGRESSED FOODS
a AAIA ILL

PROGRESSED FOODS
Blue AS through N-s-Valid tndeh-
nitely.
MEATS, CHEESE. FATS
Red As through W-s-Valid In
definitely.
(X-s through rs and AS through
81 Q-5--1S stamps-valid for direct
purchases from farmers
One IN. salvage Tat. good for cents
and two met r1tinn ports.
GAR
stamps 80. 81 and 3. Book No IS
lbs each. valid ldChniely
stamp 40, No. 4 Book ; lbs for
canning through Feb. IS. 1s45.
Spar stamp 81, No. 4 Book Valid
for maximum Of 20 lbs. for can
ming. Apply local board.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-06-19

Answer to Question No. s
The young girl. Stacy, asks
this question of the heroine in
Susan Ertz' fine novel, Anger
in the Sky" Ruth answers,
Bored! Never let me hear that
word from you. Boredom comes
from ignorance and lack of
imagination. A bored man or
woman is nearly always a fool"
Thems my sentiments.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1944-06-19

oahu.
leslie Howard.
Fields; Bailey; Currier;
Hyde.
4(c) Aramaic, a S. mitic
tongue then in use in Pales-
tine.
5-Vinegar and brown paper.
6-By humidity we mean the
amount of water vapor in
the air. The higher the tenn
perature the more water
vapor the air can contain.
Army Air show IL Free
Connolly Answers
1--(b). 2tc). 3L(c). f.
(a). 5T(b). 6-(a) An
tonia: (b) Lulu; tc) Alice;
id) Joanna; (e) Maria.