davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-04-02
BY Henry McLemOre

visit with natives Of the upper
reaches OF the Amazon River.
There is adventure and peril
every hour Of the day.
TIVE hotel in which I am now
l. bllleted Is typical Irish
hotel. This means. to begin
with. that no one on the staff
speaks any recognized language
or dialect. Their language obv-
ouSly i one they have made up
themselves and no stranger could
ever hope 10 master IT,
I am able 10 make my most
elementary wants known, and
thus keep body and soul together
by the use OF a crude sign Ian
guagc When | want FIRE IN
my room, | take a match and
light some part Of my clothing
and the staff after a long con-
sultation, usually catches on TO
what ! mean.
or course they never give you
fire IN your room / have
burned OF two coat sleeves and
am working on a trouSer leg
now without ever getting enough
heat 10 melt the stalagmites,
StalactltcS and plain icicles
which abound in my room.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-04-02
WOLVES Roam OHfGPfd
Dixie Can't Be Dixie
Without Ball Players
By ARTHUR BUGS" BAER

AS an old evaporaed baseball reporter notice that the
Athletics are training deep the heart of Delaware which
from now on will be known the Palmetto State
They can get away with that But l will not stand for
training spot at Walingford Conn., being
known the Sunshine City.
That good old Dixie State of Indiana blossoms as a
tropical paradise big league teams Or reasonable
facsimiles thereof
The Bloomington, the Pirates at Munce the Cubs
French Lick the Tigers at Evansville and
the Indians at Lafayette
All Indiana monkeys chatterng in the elms
and Spanish dripping off the befry of the staehoue.
If the champion Yanks sunburned at Asbury Park
~ j. will be because somebody started forest fire.
Away up Massachusetts where the cotton blooms
and grows and the mammies eagerocking the hill
sides the Red Sox Medord Even Paul Revere didn't
stop there.
But tops for the bottom of all times the Dodgers at
Bear Mountain, n. Y.
Bear Mountain the drafty side Of the Hudson about
shivers from the North Pole. 1t is colder than we'll
dgger's lunch .4
There is nothing between the Arctic and Bear Mountain
but nothing predict that the Brooklyn outfed will star in
history the first three players be eaten by wolves
The 1913 baseball circuit looks something like maritime
traffic Reykjavk Iceland The when the ice
breaks up
copynsn. ia,5,
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-04-02
Horse and Hack
Baseball Seen

yards may provide difficulties
because of the gas rationing but
Of course they can always 90
back to the old time open horse
drawn hacks of the pre-taxi
period Of the game.
l think that was a most pic
turesque method of haulage as
the FASTENERS usually dressed in
the hotels and wore their
uniforms en- route to the yards.
but it was fraught with some
peril.
THE Infatuated inmates OF
Il Philadelphia lined the
streets after a game one day
and pegged rocks at the open
hack riding Giants, with Roger
Bresnahan sitting up with the
driver and catching the rocks
and pegging them back with fine
effect until he got beaned and
was toppled from his perch.
Frank Bowerman was riding
in the back seat of the hack
and particularly crafty Phila-
delphian sneaked up behind the
vehicle, removed Bowerman's
hard straw hat with one hand
and with the other plopped a
brick on Franks unprotected
noggin with considerable force.
Oddly enough, the fan then
politely replaced Franks hat
before fleeing and presently
Franks head began swelling and
raising the lid until it was
higher than If he had two FORE
heads and some of the infuri-
ated inmates got the impress
sion he was tipping his bonnet
TO them and ceased firing.
Copyright. 1919. by King Features
Distributed by international News Service
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-04-02
The Brighter Side

7 GUESS the most optimistic
Il fellows in the country today
are the big league baseball mag
mates.
They are going ahead with
spring training of their players
as if they were going 10 play
the season of 1913 all the way
through. though the price
against that proposition is about
9 TO ).
l give the magnates due credit
for their gameness in even at
tempting a start. but / think If
they had tried TO do any con-
siderable travelling lately they
would realize the difficulty of
the transportation pr b e m,
which is increasing every day
and which, l fear. will put the
crusher on the big league sched-
ules as now arranged.
THEY may get part way, but
L il is my conjecture that they
will then either have 10 close
down altogether or wind up
playing sectional schedules.
That is TO say, the eastern
teams will be restricted 10 play
ing each other with the same
situation prevailing in the West.
II is just not in the cards that
the teams can travel back and
forth as in normal times.
1t is my opinion baseball is as
essential as any other public
amusement, yet It IS in an I'M
fortunate position in that il re-
quires the movement of its play
erS in fairly large squads in
military times when all trans
portation facilities are taxed TO
the limit.
Certain prlorities might solve
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-04-02
The On|ooker

SOMEWHERE IN NORTH.
- ERN IRELAND-Some day
I'll return 10 the United States
and do a book about my expert
ences as a foreign correspondent.
Not that I have any particu-
lar hankering 10 do book but
il is rumored here that the
American publishers have put
law through Congress making IT
obligatory for every correspond
ont who spends as much as two
weeks on foreign soil &c put his
memoirs IN PRINT even If he
doesn't rem m b er anything
more VIVID than the name OF has
Charwoman and the last time he
sent out his laundry.
My book might be pretty good.
however. because l would leave
,crlptions Of battles and per-
Olal heroICs 10 others and de-
vote the major portion Of mine
10 describing life IN Irish hotels
This IS a subject which has long
been neglected
Just why. III never know be-
cause life in one combines all the
rlgors Of a trip 10 the North
Pole. flight over the Himalayas
IN a frail glider and fortnightS
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-04-02
BY Il. ". DurIing

IN SAN FRANCISCO that
Il film Hello. Frisco, Hello"
has 10 be billed and advertised
as: Hello, San Francisco,
Hello
Angelo Rossi. mayor OF San
Francisco, insisted upon this
change
Sounds silly 10 me.
/ think when people refer 10
San Francisco as Frisco" il is
because they like the town.
Unpopular people or places
rarely have nicknames.
Ever hear OF an armIesS
dentist?
Margaret Jones of Houston,
Tex. who lost both arms in an
accident. just has received her
degree as Doctor of Dentistry
at the Texas Dental College.
She plans TO specialize in pre-
ventive dentistry for children.
BEFORE Pearl Hafbef the
~ things that kept running
through my mind were usually
refrains Of popular songs. bits of
poetry and words Of advice such
as: PLAY the solid horse for
show"
Nowadays statements of our
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-04-02
FunctiOna al
Dyspepsia
BY DIR. Logan Clendening

OF COURSE, every once in a
~ while some nervous dyspep-
tic turns up and fools everybody
by having serious organic dis
ease like cancer or gallstones;
but if he has been having dys-
pepsia for 20 years. he usually
deserves the label nervous
dyspeptic.'
He always is taking pills; he
is always going on a diet; he
likes such fads as the compatible
diet: he always is getting rex
rayed; he rs always having his
stomach pumped, and in the
meanwhile he looks in the best
of health-except for the woe
begone expression on his face
and maintains his weight and
general activity.
7 ONCE had a patient on whom
Il l tried every known treat
ment for dyspepsia and finally
she told me that when she was
A little girl her father had dys-
pepsia all his life and her ear
lest recollection was that at
mealtime she had 10 go 10 the
sldeboard and get him a pink
Dill before meals and then go
after meals and bring him a blue
pill. :,
Naturally she was obsessed
with the idea that her digestion
was weaker than other people s.
We were able TO take her out
Of it.
These people often have some
sort of associated anatomical
changes which may or may not
explain their condition.
For instance, they often have
a dropped stomach.
DUT others have dropped
ID StomachS. too and don [
have dyspepsia. so I Judge that
in every case the dyspepsia IS
more or less functional.
Treatment of these cases
should be directed towards clear
ing up the patients misconcep-
tons
In other words, ii should be
psychological.
The worst thing 10 do to them
is 10 give tnem some kind OF
physical treatment such as put
ting them on diet or giving
them massage or putting a cor
set on them.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-04-02
On the Sid e

Whom age chds me blood,
When Our pleasures are past.
For years fleet aWag NTH the
l0ings of the doUc
The dearest remembrance WW
stu be the last
Our sWeetest memorial the first
kiss Of love.
Byron,
I'm the United States up 10
1925 it is said most women re-
ceived their first kiss Of love by
a garden gate. on a doorstep.
on a park bench or in a parlor.
From 1925 TO the present.
research indicates the most
popular first kiss spots have
been in automobiles; especially
taxicabs.-EVD)
QUERIES from clients:
VI Q-How does Lady
Korda Merle Oberon) stand as
TO the matter of direct success
sion to the British crown?
A-Couldn't say. However
Lady Nancy Aston is 10,4l2th
on the list and Lady Peel
beatrice Lille) is 6,l74th.
Q-Don't you think that be-
ing instructed exclusively by
female teachers in his forma-
tive years is menace TO A
boys future character as TO
manlineSs
A--Have heard that claim
many times.
1 think it is a lot Of nom
sense.
Most of the marines at
Guadalcanal, the men AT Ba-
tam and our flierS at New
Guinea we're instructed in their
early youth by feminine teach
ers.
1t doesn't seem TO have done
their characters much harm as
10 manliness.
a feminine teacher has a re-
fining influence on lad.
WAS it Percy Hammond who
w referred to well-known
female night club entertainer
as "a strident vocalist who vehe-
Hehtly assaults the ear.
This is an excellent deScrip-
ton of most of the night club
singers and band canaries Of
today.
Oh. we'll, why should I COM
plain; l still have my Helen
Morgan records.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-04-02
Rickenbacker-S
Speeches

pearance" Of more than 1000
votes in the last elections here.
Alleged vote machine tampcr-
ING.
Noel Coward is reported so
improved he will come TO the
u. S.
It's tougher to get tickets TO
the new "Follies" premiere than
bananas.
The women of the nation have
salvaged more than 1914 million
pairs of hosiery for the war
effort.
Overheard about an ex-psl of
FDR:
Hes the fair-halred boy of
the foul-blow set"
HSKIN of Our Teeth angels
~ got their first profit last
week and now enjoy a reserve
fund of 10 Gs.
The OPA order 10 lower the
price Of rayon stockings didn't.
Cheaper stockings will be
higher. No better quality can be
produced.
Lois Andrews JeSSel will en-
terrain troops in Alaska soon.
Phyllis Brooks IS now Cesar
Romero's adored
David Dubinsky's Garment
Workers Union, which recently
gave million TO all war chari-
ties, gave another 100000 TO
China Relief last week.
When the navy took over
Swarthmore College the girl
students were moved TO the
3Sth floor Of the Barbizon Plaza
Hotel on 5Sth street where the
British officers also tepee.
AL Bloomington pays 81
drink at the Stork-double
brandys-which retail at 81 a
snifter.
Fred Allen will do a syndi-
Gated column.
Betty Allen told her groom he
is no longer on the team.
Blanche Satrhefs perfume,
which intoxicated nearby males
the other night, Is GATED An
tlcipation. y
When he wrote the song hit.
Brazil" the composer was only
Ia Now II.
Ann Miller. the dancing star,
and b Cutler, New York finan-
cler, are constant in Hollywood.
The newspapers seem agreed
that LaGuardia'S assignment is
North Africa which is what we
said months ago
Copyright by Daily Mirror. Inc.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-04-02
BY Damon RunyOn

the problem for the magnates.
but mat would raise a terrific
beef from those not interested
in baseball.
I AM convinced that at least
Il half the civilia railroad
travel of today is wholly I'M
necessary - that people are
travelling just because they have
the money and the inclination,
and that this contention would
be established by an official
Interrogation of each traveller
as TO the purpose Of his journey
ing. as was done with motorists
in some states after gas ration
ing.
The trains running between
the coasts and everywhere else
in the nation are pack-jammed
with people strictly on pleasure
bent.
If this extra pressure was re-
moved, the transportation of the
ball clubs would be fairly easy,
yet the travellers might reason
ably argue that they have as
much right TO travel for
pleasure as the clubs have for
public amusement.
I DOUBT that all the military
travel. save in troop move
ments and for individuals on
official missions, is essential.
1t is quite possible that some
of the military also travel for
pleasure, though what pleasure
they can find in standing up in
the crowded trains for long dis
tances is slightly beyond me.
Even the matter of trans
portation of the ball players
from their hotels to the ball
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-04-02

CONGRESSIONAL circles @e
~ buzzing with talk of a probe
into the Gallup Polls.
F. d. r. will double veto the
bloc by kayoing the APP
oval of farm draft deferment
and the booming of farm parity
price bills.
The phone wires are still siz-
zling from Washington over Rep.
Clare Luce's call 10 Golfers
Frank Gervasi regarding his pen
portrait Of her.
Frank Nitti, the Chicago I'M
derworld biggie. shot himself
dead because his medico told
him he had only two months TO
live.
Seven more detectives have
been denoted in another shakeup.
Capt. Rickenbacker's speeches
are allegedly ghosted by Steve
flanagan.
THE Ritz-Carlton Hotel has
Il been peddled TO Viscount
Aston.
Lady in the Dark" starring
Ginger Rogers already has cost
the studio 3 million.
Many Of the girls i'm uniform
here. bored with nothing much
10 do, are begging for service
overseas,
Mill Mont and LaMartinique
Clashed after her first perform
ance, and she retired from the
show. Such screaming!
Producer Howard Hughes and
his new star, Jane Russell. are
reported not talking-after all
that build up, too
A revolt is expected on one OF
the foreign islands not far from
these shores-any hour.
The Richard Kollmars are in
fanticipatients again.
She's Dorothy Kilgallen. the
columnist, and he's co-producer
Of by Jupiter"
DEN GIMBEL JR. Of Philly
O is waiting for the final de-
see 10 jump on the bond-wagon
gain
Carol Bruce'S current arm
decoration Is L. Bud AFFin Of
Chicago
A Boston gang war has started
over a shooting in the Latin
Quarter night spot there.
Dorothy Bighee, Showgirl in
the Billy Rose zoo. was stranded
al the altar.
Her betrothed sent a wire
saying
MY parents won't let me out
Of the house"
Lucius Beebe. the scrivener.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-04-02

told Chicagoans he couldn't get
a priority for the Coast. but ar
ranged one rs turret-lathe
worker for II. Kaiser.
JOAN BLONDELL, according
" TO Coast tipsters. was on
tour of training depots out
there.
The star was lrritated AT no.
ticing that the front pews at
these entertainments were usu-
ally occupied by officers and
their wives.
Finally, at one camp. Joan
stepped 10 the front of the stage
and said:
THE other performers and
myself have come here 10 enter
tain the enlisted men.
I'VE would all be much hap
pier to see the enlisted men as
far back as the eyes can reach,
with officers I'm the last rows"
MRS LIONEL ATWlLL is
t'i now reported nwindTng
matters in Reno, after which she
may wed an army captain Of the
air force.
Actress Ruth Weston tells
chums she Viii ioin the Fe-
marines.
Barbara Bennett is on route
again 10 fight for custody OF the
Morton Downey brood. Lost last
time.
Local Repubs expect 10 uncork
a scandal involving the "disap-
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-04-02
Look for Book
On Irish Hotels

IRISH hotels are the only ones
l. which publish a timetable for
their elevators just as we have
railroad timetables. The ele-
vator in my hotel leaves the
ground floor six times during the
day-at s. 10 and y in the
morning and at 2, 3 and s in
the afternoon.
The last named trip is the
commuters special and If you
miss n you must catch the
sleeper which leaves promptly al
midnight 1t travels at such
slow rate Of speed that II IS gen.
orally believed il is powered by
earthquakes and travels upward
only when there are earth
tremorS in the vicinity.
Coming down, though. il oper-
ates purely on the law of grav-
ity and lands with such violence
that the MASSIVE doors fly open
and the passengers are propelled
into the lobby
The inter-hotel system in Irish
hotels would make Alexander
Graham Bell a. well as Don
Ameche resort 10 carrier pigeons.
You wont believe II but 10 get
room service or the hall porter
IN my hotel il Is necessary 10
ask for long distance or the
trunk line" as the Irish call IL.
This makes il necessary 10 pay
a toll charge to get the time Of
day or a pitcher OF water Also
on this trunk line. for some rea-
son or other, is A pub three
blocks down the street So,
when YOU call the operator. you
are just as likely 10 get a glass
of lager as bellhop.
ONE of the first things that
" greetS the eye of an incom-
ing guest in my hotel is a large
placard which advises him that
the management is not only
anxious 10 have the guest leave
tho hotel feeling II is the best
hotel in town but the best IN all
the world.
The placard then tells Of the
special advantages tho hotel Of
ferS. There Is absolutely no
charge for baths. a man is free
70 use the tub or basin without
it being put on his bill. Guests
are also allowed the free use Of
the steps. halls and public rooms
and each guest is given key
10 his room.
This generosity so amazed me
that l asked the management If
il would be all right for me 10
sleep in my bed and use the
desk chair in my room and he
said. Certainly. They are yours
as long AS YOU are in the room.
Feel perfectly free to use them
as much as you want"
The valet service is operated
by a direct descendant of the
man who carried the message 10
Garcia. Give the valet a pair
Of trousers 10 be creased and he
plunges off into the countryside
and is gone for days But he
always returns and nearly al
ways with the same pair of pants
you gave him.
l am now going down 10 stand
in the lobby for awhile. That
Is free, too.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-04-02
Better Health

ON THE subject Of dyspepsia
" this week we already have
considered the gaseous type Of
dyspepsia and the secretory type.
Today l want 10 discuss the
purely functional DYSPEPSIA which
goes under the name Of nervous
dyspepsia.
He il a nervous dyspeptic.'
That label hung on person is
a lifelong nickname
II means, of course. that the
person is uncomfortable because
he worries about his digestion.
and when he begins TO worry
about II he always makes 1t
worse.
THERE are some mechanisms
Il of this universe that should
be turned over 10 Almighty God.
In the body these are the
automatic things that happen
whether you will them 10 or not.
You can move a muscle volun-
tarily. you can focus your eyes
on some print voluntarily, but by
taking all the thought in the
world you can't make the last
few inches OF your intestine
move and. equally. you can't
make il stay still.
If you begin to worry about
your watch and wind IL every
five minutes and shake il and
bang it on the window sill. YOU
will eventually get the watch
really out OF order.
The same thing applies TO your
digestive apparatus.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-04-02
LENTEN REDUCING DIET
Saturday-600 Galleries
BREAKFAST
BREAKFAST

One universal vitamin pill; l
small baked apple mo sugar.
100 calories. ! slice gluten toast
80 calories: l cup coffee (no
cream or sugar..
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-04-02
DINNER

One small cubed steak, brolled
loo calories; 2 tablespoons
caulifower-50 calories; average
helping fruit souffle-50 calorles.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-04-02
LUNCH

One pottcd ham sandwich on
wholewheat toast-l50 CalorieS,
! glass SKINNED milk-l00 Gallo
RES.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-04-02
First Kiss
Remembered

war leaders often Jay with NE
for days.
For example. that statement
of Mr.. Churchill that he thought
il would take two years 70 beat
Hitler after which the matter Of
beating Japan would be taken
up
Says / TO myself:
what are the laps going ~
he doing during the two years
we are beating Hitler"
And ] answer myself:
Plenty. Old kid, plenty" or
words 10 that effect,
Yes, sir, some of these state
ments of our war leaders not
only get me talking TO myself
but they have me answering
myself.
That's really bad.
DUBY BARNETT. First grand
IA mother TO become a WOW
(Wonan Ordnance Worker).
Mrs. Barnett who is Al has
been married % years.
She is a unique career woman
because she says she likes home
managing better.
~ took mans job To do what
can for the war effort" says
Mrs. Barnett.
after the war the man can
have his job again.
I'm going back to the
Kitchen"
Cole Porter Best musical
show lyric writer ever born in
Peru, Ind.
He is vice-president of the
Midtown Manhattan Bow Tie
Wearers' Club.
This organization by a major
ity vote recently approved the
wearing of ready made bow ties.
Sherman Billingsley. president
of the club, is largely response.
BILE for this.
Immediately followin z the
vote I resigned from the organi-
Zation.
No bow tie Wearer worthy OF
the name wears a ready made
bow
The first thing my father
taught me was to lead with my
left. the second how to shave
with straight razor and the
third how TO tie a bow tie.
Distributed by King Features synd.. Inc.
Copyright. 1913, by King Features
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-04-02
On Broadway
BY Walter WincheIl

Trad. Mark Registered. coDyHsht iSIS
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-04-02

DEN GIMBEL JR. Of Philly
xO is waiting for the final de-
see 10 jump on the bond-wagon
pain
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-10-17
WlB Ruling Backs
Anti-Sfrike ContraCis

WASHINGTON, oct. IS GNS)
The WLB ruled today that an
existing contract prohibiting
strikes is a legal obligation and
takes precedence over a legal
right TO strike gained in an cleo
ton under the War Labor Dis
putes Act.
This opinion followed a request
from the AlliS-Chalmers Manu-
featuring Co. Springfield, Ill, as
TO whether employees had a legal
right to strike under provisions
Of the act when contract IN
effect banned strikes.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-10-17
RaAo R'ogra N,

This program has been
given The Detroit Times
by the stations herein
listed. II the pressnts.
tions as scheduled are
not on the air, the fault
lies with the stations and
not The Detroit Tlmes.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-10-17
Five From State
Suffer Wounds

One Detroiter and four out
state men were listed Saturday
by the War Department as
wounded in the various theaterS
Of war They arc:
Pvt. Edward J. Malinowski, Of
1851 Fairview.
Tech. Fourth Grade Donald +.
Grady. Flat Rock.
Cpl. Benjamin T. Jaco, 1882
Pennie, InkSter.
Pfc. Clarence r. Rledel Port
Huron.
Pvt. Edwin J. Rinke. Center
Line.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-10-17
SUNDAY MORNING

WEXI=R. o. Bible Society
WJBK-Jswish hour.
lOil5 A. NJ.
WJR-Phil skillmsn-A.
WCAR-OCD reporter.
WJLB-United Gospel ct
1880 A. NJ.
WIR-Wings over Jordan
WWJ--String music.
VICAR Musicale.
wjLB-Yugoslsv Cub.
WExL-Rev. John Young.
I0.45 A, M.
WWJ-Oarcen Hour.
CKLW--Pontiao Baptist
i1i00 A. N.
WJR-News.
WWJ 81 PAul's C'th dral
WCAR-Anchor Bay Ass n
WNYZ-News Ace.
WJLB---W war jobs.
WExIr--Congregi Church.
WJBk-Serbian hour.
ll:l5 A. NJ.
WJR Blue jacket choir,
WXYZ-Dr. ]. Y. Norris.
1850 A. NJ.
wJR-ReY. John zoller.
CKLW-Anglioan Church.
VILE Eethlehen Church,
WE.%L-Salvation Army.
WJBK-Hebrew Christian.
Has A, ".
WJLH-N News