davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-03-01
The OnIooker
I ONION, England So YOU
II don't like the English, Ell?

I ONION. England So you
II don't like the English, eh7
Too smlg- huh ,
Too superior?
II makes you tired 10 hear
them say clark" for clerk,
lift when seeing an elevator,
fiat" for apartment.
And you don't care for the
way they carry umbrellas. talk
unintelligibly through tn Q III
teeth and serve warm beer
| know. i know.
They are exasperating
And there is no denying that
there is lot Of anti-British
feeling in our country
Mrs. Roosevelt just did
Knagazine article on that SUBJ
sect, didn't she?
And every one Of our soldiers
who come here are issued
pamphlet on how 10 get along
with such odd. odd people.
THE best way 10 cure this
Il anti-British feeling is 10
cross the ocean in a convoy
The very wide, very deep and
very cold Atlantic Ocean.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-03-01

500 YOU say all store clocks
- should be as accurate aS
London's Big Ben writes a
Pittsburgher.
"Well, L am only I5 years old
ard no Quiz Kid, but I know
that Big Ben Is not accurate,
except on the hour.
Because of the great weight
Of its gigantic hands it is fast
on the downward trip from !
to 6 and slow on the upward
trip 8 to H."
Writes a soldiers mother:
"My boy says that at his
camp there are young men from
all parts of the United States;
even from Brooklyn, but that
the most difficult to understand
because of faulty enunciation
and pronunciation are the boys
from New Hampshire.
HE says the boys from
Pennsylvania are the clearest
takers and best conversational
lists"
ET'LL fix IL myself" said I
l. when the repair man
phoned to say he was too busy
to do any work on Our radio.
Huh" said my Girl Friend
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-03-01

who insists that as far as being
a help around the house l am
distinctly helpless type"
Well, sir, l took my PEN
knife and went to work and in
five minutes the radio was go
ing full blast.
My Girl Friend who heard It
from another room came rush.
ing in with look of amazement
on her face.
you've been deceiving me all
these years." she said.
"Now / find out you are o
mechanical genhIs.
"For all 1 know you may
know how TO cook"
l was quite pleased.
But my triumph had a kick
back.
A little later my Girl Friend
said:
1.-THE car has a flat tire"
Said /:
"Phone for the garage man TO
come and change It,"
Said she:
"Oh. no, not when l have such
a handy man as you around the
house"
So l had 10 change the tire.
QUERIES from clients:
VI Q-Ifave you ever hooked
your watch or overcoat and
why?
A-When / was a very young
and extravagant fellow 1
hooked my watch many times
but never my overcoat.
Reason 1 hooked my watch
was because l was nearly ale
ways broke on Friday which
was then the day before pay
day.
DO decide an argument
around the cigar stand is a
Chinese born in the United
States an American citizen?
A person of Chinese an
cestry born in the United States
is citizen of this country and
could be President if he received
enough votes.
Same is true of a person OF
japanese ancestry born in the
United States.
Seems everybody should know
this but it is surprising how
many do not.
Copyright. 1919, by King Features
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-03-01
Better Health
BY DIR. Logan CIendening

THERE are at least two kinds
= of people: first, those who
regard breakfast as The King
of Meals and the others, who
regard il as chore 10 be got
through with as rapidly as pos
sible.
Generally, I should say as far
as observation is concerned, that
Continental Europeans almost
universally fall into the second
group.
Breakfast in France is some
thing to make a travelling Amer
lean shudder.
once saw an old Frenchman
breakfasting at Mont ST. Michel.
He was in the dining room for
an hour after / started TO OBJ
serve him.
LIE WAS eating some sort OF
"a roll or biscuit that never
had been thoroughly cooked and
had not been toasted and looked
as if IL had been used 10 plug
up a rat hole.
This NJ would MUNICH while
the crumbs fell all over his
beard and night shirt. which
was the costume he had chosen
TO wear 10 breakfast, and then
he would wash his mouth out
with a mixture of cool coffee,
chicory and milk.
Later on he hit some red wine
and got down TO the business of
the day.
THE English breakfast. which
Il was inherited by our Plym-
outh Rock ancestors and 10
which they were loyal for a
long time, is likely 10 be some
thing like cold veal in cool
gravy. cool mashed potatoes.
beefsteak and onions, ham and
eggs, pancakes and syrup, etc.
do not know the exact rea-
sons for the evolution of the
standard American breakfast.
/ imagine the reasons were
partly climatic. partly due 70
our industrious way of life and
partly historical
But standard il has become:
Orange juice, toast and coffee, -
which must be of fairly recent
origin.
IN THE seventeenth century
L the English merchant marine
began bringing back to Eng
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-03-01
BY Henry McLemOre

You can leave the American
shores thinking the British are
fussy btighters, not worth fight
ing alongside of. but you will be
completely cured of this idea
as early as the next day.
1t happened 10 me.
/ always had found English
men harder 10 cultivate than a
taste for olives or spinach but
/ got cured.
Got il quick and easy
1t happened the first day we
were al sea.
Our little boat was Just
speck on the ocean.
So were the other boats.
Many of them
Line after line as far as /
could see there were boats.
A convoy. A big one.
Tankers, freightcrs. troop
ships.
More tankers. more freighters,
more troopshlps
I STOOD by the rail and looked
Il at this convoy.
Then | looked at the ocean.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-03-01
Private Papers
of Reporter \

THE passing of Houdini's
= widow reminds us of the
time the late headliner, famed
for his talent of breaking in
and out of anything or any
where, met DIR. Bodie. a ma
gician, who specialized in re-
markable tricks with electricity.
Houdini was with d profess
sional wiz called Datas, who
was expert at remembering
dates and figures.
They were appearing on the
same vaudeville bill and all
three were living in the same
boarding house.
Leaving a cafe one night to-
gether, Bodie, volunteered TO
drive them home. but the car
lights wouldn't work.
After DR.. Bodie tinkered with
the wiring for an hour, they
abandoned the car and started
walking.
Then they found that Datas
couldn't remember the street
they lived on.
When they finally located the
spot. they were so late-the
landlady had locked the door
and gone 10 bed.
You guessed IT,
And Houdini couldn't get into
the house.
MUTUAL friends arranged a
A'A meeting with the vice presi-
dent the other morning.
AS we entered his office, he
walked over, hand extended try
ing TO suppress smiles which
broke into laughter.
I'm very happy to meet you,"
we said. but why are you
laughing"
MY goodness" said the vice
president, laughing louder and
feeling both sides of our head,
where are your horns:
I INT from blue serge suit:
~ William -Ealvey- Mirror
reporter. suggests this nick
name for lady marines:
"Femarines."
It's a himage for the author,
William Seabrooks. at Rhine
beck, n. Y. Momma is the for
mer Constance Kuhr.
It's a little admiral for En-
sign and Mrs. True Davis Jr.
at St. Joe. Mo.
Slogan for FDR's fourth term:
One for each OF the Freedoms!
The D. c. lin Washington,
d. c. means Don't Criticize.
Sound and Fury in the WIZ
newsroom Sunday night:
"You can't call that liar
liar"
Copyright by Daily Mirror Inc.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-03-01
Marine Corps
Wins Fame

the rest of the army or the
navy. though do not think this
was true in the campaign in the
South Pacific.
AS a matter of fact, the
marines for a long time fought a
sort of forgotten war. with
operations by other forces else
where getting much more atten-
ton, and in my opinion they
have yet to receive all the notice
their achievement calls for,
which is one reason why / speak
of it now.
THE marines are polite fellows
Il among civilians.
They generally remove their
caps on entering a public place
such as a restaurant where folks
are dining, a little thing, to be
sure, but uncommon enough
among men in uniform to at
tract attention TO the marines.
The marines seem rather con-
siderate of civilians, which is
also uncommon.
Those who have been in the
South Pacific and wear medals
for valor are more sedate than
the ones who have yet to see ac-
tive service. but all are rather
close-mouthed, which may be
part of their schooling.
They are trained more rigor-
ously for the business of killing
than are other troops and no
weaklings are tolerated in the
corps.
You are a marine"-or you
aren't.
There is no in-between.
Copyright, 1943. by King Features
Distributed by International News Service
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-03-01

HARRY RUBY. the songwriter.
IA is Hollywood's No. Base
\ ball Fan. -
Even more sanatical tno pun.
honestly about the sport--than
Joe f. Brown or George Raft.
Harry would rather be medi-
OGRE with a ball and bat than
sensational with sharps and fats.
He idolizes Honus Wagner
more than Richard Wagner, and
the only Hit Parade he bows to
is the Ted Williams-DiMaggio-
Nell OFT variety.
One day, a friend (unable to
savvy how a man could worship
ball players rather than states
men, scientists or virtuosos)
said:
"LOok, Harry, you have such a
childish attitude to ward ball
players. Lemme put a question
to YOU I'm a childish way: Sup
pose your father and Joe d.
Maggie were on the edge OF .
cliff and you had the chance to
rescue only one. Who'd you
save:"
Harry looked at his pal in
credulously and CALCULATED:
Are you nutz? My old man
can't even bat 200"
CECRETARY OF INTERIOR
- HAROLD ICKES definition
OF liberal:
THE word il hard TO define;
Il represents an attitude,
state OF mind. rather than q
specific philosophy.
Liberalism Ii an ideal which
goes under various labels.
Sometimes liberals call them
selves Progressives, sometimes
Democrats, sometimes Repub-
iicans, sometimes popuiists.
lit does not matter.
THE label il nothing - the
point Of view In everything.
But however we describe
liberal we generally recognize
Ahim by hts deeds or words.
"A mans fundamental, long
range attitude towards fife and
the world Axes him permanently
in the esteem and opinion of
his fellowmen."
THE current. curt and clear
l. counter-coining being di-
rected at once lucid fstill lovely
Clare Luce moves Herb Lyon To
this:
I'm retaliation for her neatly
pbrased. poorly considered 'glo-
bal,as., (" A.a- -s,ass "A dub her
congressional tearoom chatter
'filly-bluster.
SnEAR Winchell." says wire,
~ "Your Midtown Vignette
about former Ambassador j.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-03-01
THEN someone called
Il What's that ?"

THEN someone called:
Il What's that? ?"
We all looked.
And that's when ] decided
the British we're all right.
There. not far away on the
starboard side, knitting through
the water, was a British de-
stroyer.
She was long and lean.
Her guns were ready.
My own country's flag never
looked much prettier TO me than
did the flag she was flying.
All the way over, no matter
how mean the night, how rough
the day, that destroyer and
others of her kind ran ahead,
behind and around us, mothering
us like chicks. looking for dam
ger while keeping us from il.
Working with the destroyers
were British corvetteS, little fell
lows that make you wonder how
they can withstand the pound
ings they take.
nURING the days when we
~ were within range OF bomb
ers II was mighty comforting
TO have boats of the coastal
command flying overhead, Soc
ing 10 il that no German planes
came from the skies 10 bomb or
strafe US.
And, when we were even
closer TO German air bases it
didn't pain us any TO have Spit
fires and Hurricanes for chape-
rones.
Yes, the English will get very
dear TO any American who
trusts his life with them in a
convoy crossing.
All superficial differences be-
tween the citizens of the two
nations are quickly forgotten at
sea.
And. when land comes into
view. you'll find yourself loving
II just as If il were a bit of
view hampshire OF Iowa OF
California.
You won't mind the fog that
shrouds II or the rain that
drizzleS on ii or the talk Of the
people who walk on il.
After all, their handclasp is
the same as ours.
Distributed by McNaught Syndicate. Inc.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-03-01

Kennedy may he virtually true
as TO the episode, although II
leaves open any answer that
Kennedy may or may not have
made.
1.-THE day of Pearl Harbor, Jim
Farley telegraphed the Presl-
dent, offering TO serve In any
capacity whatsoever.
1.-THE answer was, in effect,
Thanks; i knew could depend
on you
Farley has never heard from
him since.
"John j. Bennett, with bril-
liant military record In the last
war, one OF the foremost Ameri-
can experts on aviation today,
offered his services 10 the army
before his term expired as at
torney general OF New York
State. He received a polite
acknowledgment"
DOB HOPES little Linda and
- her school chum, Carol
Thomas, daughter of film pro-
Queer Bill Thomas, were being
driven 10 school by Mrs. Hope,
who still is tittering over the
little girls repartee
my father" said Miss Hope.
went Ia the studio"
MY father went to the studio,
too" said Carol.
"Yes," said La Hope. but my
daddy makes pictures
NO." corrected Miss Thomas,
"my daddy makes the pictures.
Your daddy only works in them"
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-03-01
Only Applause
For English

II looked cold. icy cold, and
IL was, too,
There were waves thar tolo
YOU with their thunder that If
anything happened there would
be no use trying TO launch
lifeboats.
/ looked at my life jacket and
was struck by its inadequacy
in case of emergency.
Then l remember submarines
were out there looking for just
such a convoy as this.
II didn't make me feel any
better to remember how | had
funkcd my Boy Scout swim
ming test.
l knew if a torpedo hit US l
undoubtedly would establish a
new worlds record for going
down and staying down.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-03-01
American
Breakfast

land the exotic products of other
lands.
In his diary, Samuel Pepys
records that he drank a pint of
orange juice and was very much
surprised that hme did not be-
come i'll.
ut being new, was doubtful
whether II might do me hurt"
l do not know how rationing
will affect this part of the stand
ard breakfast.
Orange juice is very rich nu-
tritionally, not only for its min
eral content, but for its vitamin
& content.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-03-01
QUESTIONS. ANSWERS

Mrs. V. V: Is sugar harmful
10 kidney trouble?
Answer: On the contrary,
sugar passes through the kid
ney with great ease, doing about
as little harm as anything on
earth.
In fact. sugar is one of the
lest ways we have of getting a
refractory kidney 10 act.
a. L. w: What is myocardi-
It's? What are the symptoms?
What treatment should be used?
Answer: Myocarditis is an
affection of the heart muscle,
without involving the valves
(aS in valvular heart disease) or
the arteries of the heart (aS in
angina pectorisD.
II may or may not interfere
very much with the working of
the heart.
If it does, there will be
slow pulse or irregular pulse and
shortness of breath and possibly
oropsy.
The best treatment is rest,
allowing the heart TO recuperate.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-03-01
On Broadway
by Walter Winchell

Trad. Marx REGISTERED. Copyright 1919
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-03-01
BY L. v. Durling

Distributed nv Kinr FEATURES synd, Inc.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-03-01

ELOUR. we are promised in
Il abundance, so we always
will have the second staple of
the American breakfast. toast.
But heaven knows what will
happen 10 our allotment of
coffee.
l switched 10 tea a few weeks
ago for breakfast in order TO
have more coffee for my house,
hold. but my continental habits
are broken and I had to switch
back to coffee.
For the enthusiastic break
fasters. of course. an egg should
go with the toast
Again, we are assured that
the supply Of eggs is going 10
be ample.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-03-01

Card Designed
for Benefits
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-03-01

IN THE seventeenth century
the English merchant marine
began bringing back to Eng
Henderson daily dispatch., 1943-06-26
[.7hereS F7lMY{aVs. Wa6ono
@ G> 1913 zs7 on, JOHN crttnus

and cloTIL.". Tic r',~t. ~ Trri: NJ
the factory moved llIth"ly along.
Jeans iin""rE .ir% Owe" IA" pages
Of her nn.cbool; To &tevr'S dicla-
ton. raced over the keys ~ her
typewriter in joyous rhythm. She
couldn't hide her radiance AMI
gave up trying. steve knrw. bat
realized the tim" had past for pro-
testing. Shr ltN seen CWrlry npr:H.
She was in loy" nth the C''ru.
That was That. ~" vent bliLa!y
along with his 1!c'lti"H.
The magazine they had been ~
pecting arrived that day-th me
carrying Il long feature artiC!. on
synthetic rubber plants. including
pictures Of the san Carlos r'tUt
and featuring Jean. rs II rerr's"n'
tative defense secretary. irr pic.
turc and history We're prominently
played up. DurinI the nu.iy OF
congratulations AMI Commrl. from
| the Office force. Steve noticed ~
tcrly when Jean slipped a H.t.S-
zine into her desk drawer i'..r r"-
Crct smile told him Only g., p!a.h-
~ for whom sh" was %avir. g.
IL" turned with relief 3D.. .htn-
2anarrG rushed in with 81. usual
brcathl"@.S iiupctuositv.
We've something 10 .'.rT you.
MaUZlnnrrS." he Cal.uG. !"iE"-
thing nice"
MnnZlrarcs cleared TIE loom of
all but steve AMI Jean at IL sharp
order. clicked the lrr', 80! the door
behind him. then turned 1h"ut, cx-
Citcment and triumph trembling
through him.
Something to tcll YOU" his
words lcapcd out w.th fiery eager
ness. "Jeffries he is arrested in
Mexico City this morning! Much
stored explosives they have uncov-
cred which he was conccaling! Two
Mexican accomTlccs and n gringo
are asked many questions which
point ruthlcssly 10 n verec bces
gang Ia MrXiCo and in United
States"
"Thank Cod" Stcvc's vibrant
relief filled the room. Nov we'll
get 10 the bottom OF the whole
trcaChcrOus mess
"Thc national police, both OF the
States and of Mexico. are closing
In at one time over the country
Manzanarcs rushed on. Sons of
them will arrive here tomorrow. Is
not this the wonderful -" His abb
lance faded rs abruptly 49, his
words. Ills sweeping cazc had
rested OF Jean. sitting at her desk,
white. stricken look on her face.
Swiftly compassion clondcd lis joy.
"hh. the tender heart Of the sem
orita breaks 10 believe III Of her
friends" he cried. "Shc knows now
the sorrow lying beside tho JOY in
the heart of the police. n the Grim
inals we're not always so charnI-
ing!'
(To BE eNntinued1
Henderson daily dispatch., 1943-06-26
CHAPTER THiRTY-EIGHT

II WAS three nights before Jean
Jaw Curlcy again. She had half cX-
trctcd him each night. and when
~" evenings had passed without
sight or nrwi7 of him. disappOint-
mcnt sharpcncd. The old miSGIv-
irgs about him. fed 10y Stoves I'M
ultcruble decision concerning his
wOrthlessreSs, once more rose to
the surface OF her thoughts. Per
laps she had frightened him by her
emotional welcome when he had re-
.urned with the serum that night.
Perhaps he didn't like his ladies
when they grew serious about this
game OF love Maybe he had al
ready packed his Fordango with
his few belongings and started on
his light hearted way.
But her fears were only chatter
ing voices on the full tide of new,
deep content. She didn't really be-
lieve Stoves warning that Curlcy's
action that night was merely gal
liant deed 10 impress a scUorita.
She remembered the moment she
had Overtaken the FOrdangO on IN"
Rancho road, his RAPID understands
Ing of her suffered explanation Of
the desperate need of the serum.
his instant decision these were
the products of an alert. sct-for-
action spirit, not the slow. blank
inertia of an idler's brain. And his
tarrying through of the mission.
No. 1t didn't matter how little he
had accomplished In the world be-
fore-She was sure his nature was
Keyed to the same urging tempo as
her own. Despite his protestations
OF laziness, he was destined to be
pulled into his share Of the worlds
function.
The evening radio concert Cur
ley had started from the railing be-
fore her door was now part Of the
village life. She had suddenly be-
come the lady bountiful Of Santa
Carlos. Villagers called eagerly to
her on the street.
1T will be music tonight" Sen.
orita ?"
siSo'iS pphti oul, aims va
from every house az she drove ui'
the cobblestonc street night and
morning. Gradually they were of.
fering her the same warm bond al
friendship they had bestowed on
Curlcy.
Steve was annoyed that she took
her civic obligations so seriously
That she couldn't drive to Tire
neiehborinE town for dinner sure
~, he chlded. she could train some
OF the audience to play the radio,
She promised she would In time
But she knew. and lie knew. that
she was enjoying these evening
concerts In the moonlit courtyard
among the eager, thrilled Mexican
audience because any minute. the
tall. staggering figure in the dash
wv sombrero might saunter In tt
Henderson daily dispatch., 1943-06-26
Senator Keeps
Hands Off
In the Sir Walter Hotel.
Daily Dispatch Bureau.
By Lynn NISBET.

R,l,Inh. Jun, Ex-senator Rohr,,
u REYNOLDS said III telephone in
.s,,iew Friday re had no Statcmcu,
~ make in connection with the re-
con, re-, lenatiuns of Eugene Alley, as
s;s,an; collector. and Alvah Earn,
rbi.f ui field deputies, in the OIL
M, of Charles II. Robertson. collect
mr. of federal revenue for Norm
Carolina. The senator sat in ON com
,,,cnc,> at Washington last Monday
nm, said IA" iclt amy public statcincu-
should come from those more i'll
,iuat.ly connected with the .itu.-
ION.
Early was originally named L. the
r,,t uuuu Reynolds Recommendation
In announcing the resignation, Rob
rr,.uu said the NaranCIvS wu,Iih &c
,Illrd h. hm ur by Commissioner.
lirNc.inG.
senate! Rcynolds further SAID ne
syutr,,d Congress To recess around
the m.Gdlc ui July for several weeks
but that piled up work incident iu
chaIrInanStip ut the Senate military
a,iau. committee would probably
acrp han tied up for 4 month after
the !tc,. $. thus preventing him fruru
spending much time III North Caro-
Ina t!!S summer. He has au OF
l.c.Al mp through the middle wet
.cn,iulrd .uDn after adjournment "a,
Cone!c'a L.! the summer vacation.
TIE senator sand he was wu!kin,.
powerful hard. bat admitted II
wasn't hurting him: III tact tie J.
enjoying u.
Henderson daily dispatch., 1943-06-26

a. gre ready 10: an innocen, buvo,. -
Irds ~ ,'' ,'', oy rnecking cour, us nus
viii .ho NIs!""S states. This ,,,nn
wn,,,i ', ,h name ot the vchicl,. u" ".,,v
10" s',. ,,.ti. De used 20 obtain - , ,t.'
r ~" Submitting 4 forged Nov. NC me
Of s,,i lion J along with forged ~ -
:" ,',, sac drawn up on q ii,.,i,is1 ,u Oh!
o,,, iHhS Tor ears We, s...,,.a
T T.' pennsylvania. VY,i,;' =" Il,
North Carolina" @'.'''' MIo