The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1943-09-24
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PRIVATE PURKEY ON
TOMATO HARVESTING

TOMATU HARVESTING
News Item--S0ldiers In eastern
training camps are assisting farm
ers with the tomato harvest.)
Dear Harriet
Lest you get the wrong idea about
a new detail ! just got harvesting
and canning tomatoes ! am just
writing this note. / know how at
first thought 1t seems funny to think
Of jeep who Joined up for global
war being in the tomato business,
but 1t Is important work, Harriet.
When I and lot Of others got orders
to help pick tomatoes ! did not like
the idea Of being q Tomato Zouave.
I told Sergeant Mooney there was
nothing about tomatoes In my draft
papers and that my number was
drawn from fishbowl not from no
tomato can.
Sergeant Mooney says "Shut up,
dogface, and do what you Is told.
You are lucky to get tomatoes. It
could be watermelons!" I says to
him, "Lissen, sarge, Joined up to
be hero and never seen no hero
with tomato sauce on him." He tells
me "You are going to see one now,
my boy"
Well, am very firm with him and
tells him I was drafted to do
lot Of things but that none Of them
had anything to do with ketchup. I
tells him took oath to fight for
four freedoms none Of which has got
to be picked of Of vine or pressed
into a tin can. Also I explains to
him that the Atlantic Charter was
not drawn up in no tomato patch.
-
Even when / am arguing that
my contract makes no menshun of
any work among vegetables outside
OF clause where am serposed to
get couple of cabbage-heads
named Hitler an TOTO, he just slips
me sunbonnet and a pair of over
alls and tells me that while it wood
be bad enuff for jeep to be took
up on charges of mutiny in the face
Of the enemy it wood be worser to
be charged with mutiny in the face
of tomato.
am kind Of proud on account Of
am one Of the fastest tomato pick
ers in my outfit. Il get a average
Of 81 which is very high. ALI the
boys say must of had experience
and they don't believe me when /
say Inever picked one before in my
life an always had idea they grew
on trees. The sarge has thrun out a
claim that am q PROF.
Well anyhow in a war like this
we should all do what we get told to
do and wherever I can help is okay
so long as the sarge don't put me
on no detail to pick prickly pears.
send you all my love, my darling
Harriet.
Oscar.
HIMMLER, MAN OF CHARM
("Hitler assured the German peo-
pie that Heinrich Himmler, newly
named for important duties at home,
is a kindly, sympathetic man.
News item.)
Do not worry, fellow Germans
Don't feel frightened, sad or blue
AS name that gentle fellow
Heinrich Himmler over you'll
Do not credit silly rumors
That he is a man of hate;
Oh, really can't imagine
How such tales originate!
He's the kindliest Of persons
All, that gentle placid facet
He's tribute to the virtues
OF the superdooper race;
Treat all talk of ruthless tactics
AS just simple liverwurst;
Himmler wouldn't harm a househy-.
(If the housef1y saw him firstl)
Just the chief Of the Gestapo-
This he is and nothing more;
He plays softly Hearts and fiowers''
To drive out the trials of war;
He's my Good Will Delegation
He's my little Fairy Prince
He's Sir Galahad Gin German)-
He's my Chief of Gentle Hints.
He's the Boy who's Kind to Brides
He feeds pigeons in the parks;
He's our own Big Brother Movement
And writes verses on the larks;
He helps ladies over crossings,
He gives kidt]ies' heads a nat.