Evening star., 1943-10-27

Of punishment for the international .
hoodlums. I know what to do with l.,
them. Man, do I know what to do
with them! Let our leaders forget j,
any such punishments as hanging
by the nape Of the neck, or the hot
seat. or a bungalow on Devils
Island, or a light-housekeeping
suite on Elba, or the firing squad.
The Punishment.
That sort Of punishment is too
good for the Axis jerques. Much
too good. Their twisted natures
probably would thrive on that sort
of treatment. They'd probably put
on weight and get new color in their
cheeks. The punishment that Hitler
and TOTO and Mussolini and Goeb-
bells and the others should have
/ is this:
Permanent K. P. at Camp Bland
ing. Not for Just an hour, not for
/ just a day, but for always. Sen
tence them to a lifetime Of getting
up at o'clock in the morning and
marching into the Jaws of the mess
hall kitchen at this Army winter,
summer, fall and Indian summer
resort.
/ Before Father Time mercifully
swept them down with his fancy
grass cutter, they would have re-
gretted every indecent, inhuman act
they ever committed in fostering
and carrying on World War II. How
do I know? I'll tell you.
! I have been on K. P. at Camp
Banding 1 know I am prone to
exaggeration at times, but K. P.
here makes a winter at Valley Forge
seem like a preWar pleasure cruise.
/ Compared to K P, being shot out
/ of cannon is fun. So is sharing
bed with an Indian fakir who
sleeps on nails. So is being ap-
prenticed to sword or fame
swallower. So IS riding bucking
broncho side saddle. K P makes
you long to be a turkey on Thanks
giving eve, a candle that Is being
burned at the middle as well as
at both ends.
Given my choice between doing
x. P. again and % going over
Niagara in a solid lead barrel ~
Yol ~
cobras instead of thread, 90 sub
stituting for Casey Jones on his
last ride as an engineer, a. giving
III. Edgar Hoover q wooden nickel,
So eating toadstools out Of season.
'6) bootlegging at w. c. T. U.
convention, 90 sassing a buck SER
geant, ~ understanding Jonah.
t9l paying Tommy Manvilles all
monies and 10) posing as house
painter in Poland. would take any
or all of them rather than put my
self in the hands Of the cooks and
bakers again.
The Horrors of X. P.
Just to hear about K. P from
the staggering survivors of the Or
deal is enough to gray mans hair
to such an extent that he can double
for Judge Kennesaw Mountain
Lands and throw out the first ball
in the Three Eye League. The VIC
TINS come staggering IN to their
hutS, crying for succor. The best
thing to do with such K. P. cas-
ualtleS is to loosen their collars, rub
their heads with ice cream salt.
notify their insurance companies
and comfort them by telling them
that If they recover they will be
sent Immediately into front-line
combat and will not have to undergo
another K. P. ordeal. This promise
usually brightens them right up and
enables them to get to their feet.
They will usually smile and chuckle
and click their heels in glee when
they are told that in the future the
worst they will have to face is cold
steel, straflng bombings, BOBBY
traps, land mines and torpedoes.
What happens to man when
on K. P. duty? What would Hitler
and TOTO have to face if given such
punishment?
For the answer, see tomorroW's
horror inStallment when a dear
friend of mine. man who knows
me we'll enough to tell me all, reveals
the inner workings of the dreaded
Army K. P. system. His name Is
Henry McLemore and you can be-
lieve every, every, every other word
he writes.
Distributed by McNauSht Syndicate, Inc)