The Ypsilanti daily press. (Ypsilanti, Mich.) 1928-1962, 1943-10-23

Llt most sacred lIdllllOns OF inc
American scene.
They have come out with a bulle-
tin In which they state seriously
that the bachelor runs risk
which only marriage can overcome
for at every age, according to sta
tistlcians, the single mans NOR
tally is higher than that of his
married brother. And the differ
ence is even greater when bis NOR
tally is compared to that of the
WIdower.'
Gentlemen, lay aside your pen
els, adding machines and long
columns Of figures and allow me
TO make you acquainted with an
aphorIsm that is tried and true:
A married man does not live
longer than a bachelor. 1t only
seems longer"
Inadequate Explanation
| do not know where or when
this observation originated, al
though | have consulted the vari-
Gus books Of synonyms in my Ii
brary Stevenson's, Bartlett's and
the oxford l Will turn the question
over to my friend, Mr.. Henry Has
kell, Editor Of the Kansas CITY
Star who knows everything, or if
ne doesn't, soon finds out.
The explanation which the
Metropolitan statsticians adduce
seems to me weak and inadequate.
The conclusions are based on the
general population of the state of
New York, I93g-1941, and it is
said that the marked advantage of
married men over bachelors per-
sists through life, but is greatest
at the ages of 80 TO a years-the
period when families are being
raised. At these ages the death
rates among married men are just
about half those for the single.
The explanations made are that
unmarried men are more apt to
take greater chances with their
health and are less likely to be
adequately cared for in case Of
illness. Marriage is stabilizing
influence in the life and health of
the individual"
These seem to me extremely
superficial, not to say sophomore,
conclusions. The idea that the
bachelor is not cared for in case Of
illness shows plain lack Of the facts
Of life. What happens to the mar
ried man when he comes home
sick? Why, he is told that he was
warned not to go out without his
rubbers, and that there are some
cold tablets on the upper shelf of
the bathroom closet if Mabel didn't
eat them all, and please not to
complain about how he feels any
more because Mr.. Anthony's pro-
gram is coming on the radio in
flve minutes.
Now contrast the bachelor. He
comes home and the landlady can
tell by looking at him that he is
sick. He doesn't have to tell her,
she knows instinctively. She takes
him up and puts him to bed, and
she puts a hot flannel saturated
with hartshorn liniment on his
chest and gets a steam kettle and
gives him something to open him
up, and some pills that she has
been keeping on hand for just such
an emergency.
No, the statisticians will have
to think up some better reason why
bachelors d. not live longer than
married men. If they do.
If they do! My idea is that they
don't die at all. They just change
into something else. Artemus
Ward said: THE happy married
man dies in good style at home.
The old bachelor doesn't die at all.
He sort of rots away, like a polly
wog's tail"
QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS
r. r.: What causes the common
pinworm Are they due to i'm
proper diet? Have been told to
use salt enema. Is this harmful to
children?