The Waterbury Democrat., 1943-06-11
Jesse  Looks af the NEWS

see where Herbert Hoover is back in the news telling us there's going to be food shortage. We'll he once warned us unless we elected him there wouldn't be a chicken in every pot
 He also said Grass would grow in the streets" Well he was right only we call 'em "Victory Gar denS'.
 Milton Lipper of Beverly Hills, Cal, found his cook worried one Sunday because the local cab com- pany refused to send taxi to take her to Mass. He called back and said it was an emergency. What kind of an emergency" he was asked. "A very vital one," he re- piled. If my cook can't go to Mass she'll quit her job!' The cab arrived in five minutes.
 Harry James says a distant rela- tive is guy who's glad gas ration ing keeps you a distant relative.
 Tommy Dorsey's Description of standard Italian Uniform: A Foot Suit with 8 Retreat Pleat.
 And did anybody use this descrip- ton during the recent coal strike days-John l.. Lewis-Chief of the Underminers???
 If you make tour of the 52nd Street night clubs and see elephants on the corner-don't take the oath there's a circus tented right in the backyard of the Roxy theater.
 Hey Ed Sullivan-you'll like this one from the Congressional Record Page 4161; via Congressman Me Williams. Seems the distinguished gentleman had friend in his home town who became a grandfather and who took 1t upon himself to visit the o. P. A. to obtain ration book No. 2 for the week old infant. He was told to give the child's name and address and a couple of weeks later the infant got letter from the o. P. A. asking this question: Where were you at the time ration book No. 2 was sisued?"
 Milton Berle wonder whether be- cause milk deliveries are being made on alternate days, will COWS be milk ed every "udder' day.
 As Variety might describe that Los Angeles fight between zOOt-suit- ed hoodlums and service men: FOOT SUFFERS WARDROBE CHANGED BY SHOOT SUFFERS"
 In Cranston, H., a pet squirrel demands coffee after every meal. Guess he thinks 1t grows hares on his chest.
 Item in Duncan, (Okla) paper: "C. F. Sikes was standing near his home when flood waters from the river close by swept 1t away. The house hit him, knocked him into the creek, passed over him and went down the river" And didn't even wave goodbye?
 Arnold Lictig of NY Is developing a 2 horsepower automobile. He's at- taching shaft to his Cadillac V-16, hitiching up two horses and riding without worrying about gas.
 ahnVuk khA selectee who was brought before a draft doctor. with a visible case of the shakes. And what" asked the doctor of the shaking character, do you do for a living?' "I'' the chap replied as he trembled like a IT. model Ford, fix watches.
 A news item says that boy of five has the brain of a columnist. It doesn't mention which columnist
 The S2O, ,OOO, 900 fortune of the late Henrietta Garrett was finally dis posed of by the State of Pennsyl- vania. 26,OOO,0OO (yes-twenty-six miIlion) claimants had turned up, mostly citizens of Germany. So the State decided nobody cOul dhave that many relatives-and kept 80 per cent for itself.
 The snuggest town I was ever fin was so small 1t had the words Come Again" painted on the back of the Welcome" sign.