davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Detroit evening times., 1943-08-23
On the Side

The widest land ~
Doom takes 10 part us,
Leaves thy heart IN mine
With pulses that beat double.
What do and What ! dream
Includes thee as the vine
Must taste its oUn grapes.
And Uhen I sue God for myself,
He hears that name Of th,ps
And sees Withir my eyes the
tears Of two.
e. 3. Browning.
(Above is No. 7 in series OF
poems in response TO innumer-
able requests for verse 10 send
10 sweethearts OF husbands In
the armed forces)
THE British have special
Il rate telegram TO he sent TO
overseas soldiers. The limit.
however, is seven words. II you
only had seven words TO say TO
your husband or sweetheart in
the forces what would you say?
Rear Admiral Beamish.
though a generous man, is op-
posed TO tipping. Says he:
Tipping h an undemocrstic
system, founded In the days of
SerfdOm or even slavery TO allow
the rich to appear virtuous or
even generous. The essence Of
IL Is: If you do your Job i will
make you a present. II you give
me something which others cam
not get I will make you q very
big present"
NEW YORKER says there are
~ three females IN his family,
wife, mother-in-law and daugh-
ter, and all their birthdays come
on the same day, April l6. 1
knew a woman in Arizona who
had three sons born in different
years but all on Feb. 2.
In the United States TIN war
has done much for wages ,n
general. inexperienced young
sters are earning as high as SAP
week In England workers in
many lines have not been so
fortunate.
For example the top class
railroad engineer in England
gets around five pounds week
which is about $50 in our
money. Motor bus drivers in
Detroit evening times., 1943-08-23
Whiteman's Double
Finds New Role

the wings at every performances
and applauding Miss Logan with
great enthusiasm which must
have been appreciated by Miss
Logan as she is now Mrs.
Finklehoffe.
"Showtime" made money on
the Pacific Coast and broke a
record with a 38 weeks run at
the Broadhurst in New York.
Then they put out "Bigtime,"
with Ed Wynn. another winner,
and now they have "Laughtime"
with Frank Fay. Bert Wheeler
and Ethel Waters running sue
cessfully in Los Angeles after a
stand in San Francisco.
The Wynn show is to be re-
vived in Boston this fall. and
the combination has taken a
long lease on a New York the
ater. Smsll-Finklehoffe is deh-
nitely going concern.
DIG, bland Paul Small. now 33
- years old. was born in
Brooklyn. Despite his size he
was a dancer and an acrobat.
He used 10 fill in on the cele-
brated Ben Hamid acrobatic
troops when they needed an ex-
ira. He was "a ton of fun" do
ing a single In vaudeville. He
was with Whiteman for some
years and member OF the staff
OF the William Morris theatre
cal agency for seven years,
handling its night club business.
Paul Small views the future
with a cheerfulness that sags
only when he reflects on the sad
fact that he can no longer eat
up 10 his old standard, because
his wife, the glamorous Estelle
Taylor, is opposed TO his ever
again casting his old double
shadow.
Copyright. is43, by King Features
Distributed by International News SERVES
Detroit evening times., 1943-08-23
BY Damon RunyOn

energy 10 what some old time
show folks thought was a rather
grisly chore. He was exhuming
vaudeville, long considered de-
funct. He had moderate success
with a show in Chicago backed
by AL Bloomingdale Of New
York called "Highlights" and
featuring Joe Everglades Lewis,
Bert Wheeler and Bert Lahr.
But Small did not regard his
grave digging in the light of a
steady job until one day about
a year and half ago he was
riding plane 10 the Pacific
Coast and got 10 playing gin
rummy and gossiping about
show business with Fred Finkle-
hoffe.
The latter is a youngish
screen and stage writer, CO.
author with John Monks Of
Brother Rat. a Broadway
success of several years back.
His interest in show business
was perhaps increased by the
fact that he was engaged 10
Ella Logan the well-known
singer. He was 'I-wondering"
10 Small if vaudeville could not
be completely revived.
Sure IT. can" said Small.
you develop some dough, and
I'll prove IT."
OUT Of this little chat came
~ "Showtlme." the first of the
Small-Finklehoffe series with
George Jessel, Jack Haley. the
De Marcos, and of course Miss
Logan, as the stars. Finklehoffe
put up about $4,000 that he
had Sweated out of a typewriter.
Small thinks his partner
would have felt amply repaid
even without the dividends that
came later because il gave him
the opportunity of standing in
Detroit evening times., 1943-08-23

dent said suffly, "one dances or
one talks"
Americans are different
praise the Lord
DECENTIY ] was in Wash
~ ington 10 speak 10 Col.
Hobby, directress Of the WACs.
In connection with the picture
am going 10 make next based
on II. l.. Phillips "All Out.
Arlene" I went 10 the Penta-
gou Building expecting 10 be
greeted by squads Of suspicious
soldiers bristllng with machine
guns, bayonets and trench NOR
tars. Instead, l was met by a
very charming. very beautiful,
very polite young lady
II was wonderful and, I
think. il contained a moral. II
you visit war department in
Europe they show what they.
diF itkllAAllk Will AAfiN
show what we are fighting for.
I MUST tell one Hollywood
L story II happened several
years ago. when | 0as working
with Bracket and Wilder on a
comedy script. ] had just gotten
new secretary, and that. in
Hollywood, is an event of some
importance. TIE training Of a
secretary 70 ones taste for story
conferences IL a difficult prop
osition She must always be
there, yet not quite there. she
must react, yet not react
This new girl her name was
Iva was perfect in every re-
Spect but one. She didn't laugh
a. my lokes
II was very serious thing A
Detroit evening times., 1943-08-23

much Of II and the Smith
family right next door have
none7 Both are exposed 10
germs
Even more peculiar, why does
a dentist in one little town see
carries in nearly all his patients
and the dentist IN a neighbor-
ing town. man who IL profes-
sionally equally as alert as his
colleague. hardly ever see II
al ALI
THIS IS 10 raise the old phrase
about the seed and me soil
Some teeth are hard and resist
ant 10 infection and others
make fertile ground.
THE answer that has been re-
Il ceiving more and more uni
Nersal acclaim IS that the food
and nutrition OF the individual
make his teeth hard and re-
Sistant | have before me- the
Statemen from leading
teacher Of dentistry who says
Carries q. e.. dental decay
can he prevented and arrested
by dietary measures alone .
And another goes 50 far as
10 say that he can so into a
dental clinic and tell the con-
dition OF the dairy herds in that
community simply by eHamln-
ing the chlldren'S teeth.
Mix that has a good content
OF calcium and phosphorus. for
these chemicals are the basis of
Detroit evening times., 1943-08-23
Poor Diet Causes
Teeth Decay

tooth structure: a country where
there are many days OF sun
shine so that the children can
have sun baths and store up
good supply OF vitamin d; plenty
OF orange juice or lemonade or
limeade 10 give them vitamin
c, vegetables which supply the
r vitamin group, such as beans
and peas. while wheat bread.
cream cheese. butter. eggS-all
these supplied IN the daily food
menus assure a populace with
strong teeth
NOT only is tooth health or
y cares a sign OF the up-to-
dateness of the dairy and farm
ing activity Of a community.
but the teeth are 10 this extent
an extremely good index 10 the
general health OF the individual.
A professor in dental college
showed me an astonishing case
the other day--a child who was
sent 10 the dental clinic by An
orthepedlc surgeon because she
kept having broken bones so
often He wanted the dentist
10 correct her diet.
Detroit evening times., 1943-08-23
Afraid Farming Job
Would Make Him Stacker

War Problem Clinic:
I was born and raised on IA
farm. and lived there for 2l years.
Eight years ago l came 10 the
city 10 work. My father is SIS and
in poor health and wants me 10
Quit working in the factory and
come 20 work on the farm again.
I'm afraid 10 60 because the
draft board might think I'm try
ing 10 dodge army service. I am
29 years Old, am married and have
one child. My classification now
is "a. What are the possibilities
Of my being drafted II l so back
10 the farm7 Mr.. J. II.
Dear Mr.. J. H.:
Your statements are contra
dictory. IL Is not the purpose
Detroit evening times., 1943-08-23
Better Health
By Dr. Logan CIendening

WE family dentist OF a gen
Grafton ago was perfectly
artain that a decayed tooth
as caused by the entrance OF
arns into a small defect in
le enamel Of the tooth. A
neration ago the dentist was
lst in the fnl flush OF the
eat new science OF bac~
riology which had opened a
hole vista Of explanations for
70 cause of disease germs
ere the offenders and all You
ad 10 do was 10 search dill
'ntly enough and the culprlt
ould be revealed
Germs explained everything
- the dental profession, which
always showed an equal
|Mtness with the medical pro-
.ssion in fresh discoveries,
lared the enthusiasm OF those
-elt days OF the new science.
nd since they were able 70
llture germs from the cavities
all decayed teeth. the germ
<planaton was perfectly ma
Iral one.
|1UT AS time went on and the
} new science Of baCteriology
,gan 10 strain a little al the
,ams, people asked some queS-
ons that IL was not quite
ipable of answering
Germs caused dental carries all
ght. but why, for instance,
id the Jones family have so
Detroit evening times., 1943-08-23
Connolly Answers

l-ia) Judith. lbD Benjamin;
tCl BarrabaS
2--taJ Balboa (bl Montezuma;
CO.. Virginia. Dare.
3--tal After Vulcan. the god Of
FIRE; (b) II appears reddish 10
color. Co for many years
residence Of prime ministers
NJ England
IA Madagascar; (bl NJ;
tc) Mile.
5-CaD Any large migration:
(b) 10 ferry souls across the
StyN; tc) from the Irish
word "corrach. meaning a
Swamp.
6-ta False, mythical inventor
Of beer. (b) false. studied
yellow fever. (c) false, an
American explorer
7-tal ANY thin. soft. plable
sheet or layer Of animal or
vegetable tissue. tb) sour
cabbage; (cl the origin or
derivation as shown by
analysis or by referring 10
an earlier form.
copynsht, 1913, by XIX Features
Detroit evening times., 1943-08-23
The Brighter Side

DAUL WHITEMAN. the IA
Il NOUS orchestra leader. was
once about the size and contour
OF barrage balloon, but he
deted himself down 10 a nubbin
Of his former proportions and
thereby unwittingly did a great
disservice 10 a pal.
Paul Small. s feet 3 inches.
and netting 800 pounds which
closely matched the dimensions
of the old Whiteman, was max
ing a nice living giving imper-
sonations of the great maestro.
He even doubled for Whiteman
doing dancer in the leaders
movie. The King OF Jazz"
Paul Small did not know that
Whiteman had shaken off up
wards of 100 pounds Of suet
until one day he appeared be-
ore an audience that was IA
miliar with Whiteman in his
attenuated form and essayed
his impersonation Of the baton
swinger The audience reacted
unfavorably 70 the matter.
GSINHF guy amt nothin' like
white n" they said
"Whitemsn's practically
skinny"
So there was poor Paul Small
plumb out Of the impersonation
business. There was 20 one else
around plump enough for him
10 impersonate He thought
some of dieting himself down to
Whiteman but when he re-
flected on the chow he would
have 10 skip at Llndys he did
not then have the heart. Though
he afterwards mustered suffi-
lent food resistance 10 shrink
10 220.
However. before this hap
pened he had been out of the
imperSonation racket quite
spell and was devoung his
Detroit evening times., 1943-08-23

W W atteF W tVNNEA -
Way, his column wii be con-
uetsd by guest contributors.
ssy ERNEST LUBITsCH
lWM NO military expert and
: cannot predict when this
yar will end. But I do think
hat Germany will collapse
ONE time between the morn
lg and afternoon papers. as in
918.
In November, 1918. I was
laying In revue at the Apollo
heater in Berlin. At that
ime. the government was max
* a special effort TO keep all
heaters open in order to boost
lorals. In this particular revue.
the second act finale. the
hole company had TO assemble
n the stage and sing a rousing
atriotic song whose refrain
'ent something like this: Ger
,any must win, Germany can
in, Germany will win"
! finished singing that one
ight, went home TO sleep. and
'oke up the next morning 10
nd the newspapers headlining
le fact that Germany had lost
10 war. That is how suddenly
nd Unexpectedly the end came.
verybody was bewildered, in
luding the producer OF the
,vue. who realized that the
male song now had 10 be
nged. There was an
nergency rehearsal and that
light. instead OF a choral
ssurance that Germany would
in the war. I came out alone
nd played a comedy sketch
, front OF a monkey cage in a
DO!
T IS very difficult for people
who are not Germans 10
Understand the German mind
It's Spartan sense OF discipline
nd its furiously methodical
,inking. / have been in this
)untry for more than 20 years
~. and it is becoming difficult
me. now, 10 understand II.
remember. nce. when I
as sent by an American movie
,mpsny 10 Heidelberg 10 shoot
ackground scenes. While there
got into a conversation with a
.plcal Heidelberg student. He
aid that he had seen an Amer
An film Of mine. Lady Wilde
here's Fan, and that he had
ked IL. but had discovered
'rious mistake. | was curious
nd / encouraged him 10 tell
10 about il.
Well" the student said. Gin
" party scene at Windemere'
ouse, / noticed that the guests.
they danced, talked to one
mother"
'Yes:- I said. Whats wrong
tth that"
But, Mr.. LTbitsch," the stu
Detroit evening times., 1943-08-23
freaks the Ten COmmHndOs
English Call Football
Rugby With Revenge
BY ARTHUR BUGS" BAER

Our amazed English allies have had their first gander AT
American pastime known football. II bypassed
heir monocles.
They remember II is ofshoot Of their game Of
ugby. Then they don't remember any
All they that football starts with the sort Of
thistle that calls police in quiet neighborhoods
twenty-five fall one football and the winner
Twenty-Five jump, kick and slug in all directions
the almanac In college days they claimed they did 1t for
~ Alma MammyThs time the recdiyists doing II for
4 nseves.
We admit that football game is tough it
reaks the Ten Commandos
It's an ofshoo Of rugby, all night; II is rugby with
evsngs
But apparently London friends haven't the
~ peak You should boys act UP when they find
tranger in their hudde.
They really To town then and mean Cripple Creek.
hear English royalty sat through game defer
omment until hear whether they on chairs
Aocked down
Copyright by
Detroit evening times., 1943-08-23
Domestic Troubles
AssaiI Mother OF Five

War Problem Clinic:
I have four minor children and
a 17-year-old son who can make
good money when he works. How
ever, he has been staying out late
al night and missing several days
of work because OF this. Then
he refuses 10 pay me board al
though ne expects me 10 feed him
and do his washing.
My husband will do nothing for
the children nor will he pay any
bills. / was able 10 do part time
work before, but am under a doc
tors care now and need an opera
ton. We are living IN a four
room house which IS much too
small for US.
Where could 7 apply for separ.
ate maintenance And also could
l 20 and collect my sons wages
as he is only squanderlng his
money?
MRS. p. A NJ.
Dear Mrs. X. A. NJ:
From the contents OF your
letter YOU seem 10 be having
considerable domestic troubles.
Your husband may be charged
with nonsuppOrt and ! suggest
YOU 20 10 the office NJ the jus
tice Of the Peace in Hazel Park.
As TO your son you have
real problem. You must win
his affection and try TO get him
interested in your financial
problems. He may give you
more money from his wages.
II YOU wish To start suit
for separate maintenance, YOU
should consult n lawyer as to
the cost and procedure.
EDWARD POKORNY,
Wayne County
Friend of the Court.
We have two children and are
expecting another soon. VIII my
husband be taken IN the army >
Where can We appeal his case II
he is MRS. ID. II.
Mrs. ID. H:
Your husband has the right
To appeal his classification TO
his draft board " he thinks 10
Ia not Just. II his induction
would cause extreme hardship
To his family. he might possibly
receive a SAD rating, which
would defer him for swhlie.
These decisions are up to his
draft boa ard, however.
THE CLINIC.
Detroit evening times., 1943-08-23
War Problem Clinic:
Wartime Conditions
Cause Of Difficulties

of the clinic 10 advise persons
how 10 avoid service, but rather
To help make better servicemen.
You should be working where
YOU will do the most good for
your country. Your draft board
will take all factors into con-
sidera ton In your case.
WALTER III. u. SCOTT.
Detroit evening times., 1943-08-23
Quick Answers

Capt. Lowell Smith. for the
hFst-t, s, ArmN-plsnes TO
fy over Japan were those in
the round-the-world flight Of
1924,
2 -36 miles. AZ the Behring
Strait.
3-Mckinley
4-Eugene V. Debs, Socialist
nominee Iq2n.--l---
5-The crab! Only vertebrates
have red blood, other species
have yellow blood, colorless
blood. etc.
6-Henley.
Portugal.
S-One dollar.
Copyright. 1913 ~ kinS Features
Detroit evening times., 1943-08-23
Admiral Believes
Tipping Wrong

have much 10 do with people
who do not like dogs, And when
l see a fellow who sincerely
likes dogs / am inclined TO be
especially tolerant of what
faults he may have in general
DEITY BLACK. Whimsical
ID blues singer. Betty il
featuring a ballad dealing with
unrequited love titled Il Lost
My Sugar in Salt Lake City"
Nan Gray. Cinema cutis.
She is a blue eyed honey blonde.
/ believe that is No. 6 in tho
order OF preference among
blondes. A brown eyed honey
blonde is No. 5. Nan is the
wife of jockey Jack Westrope.
The only other actress 1 know
of who married a jockey was
Julia Sanderson who was once
Mrs. Tod Sloan.
QUERIES from Clients. O.
W The captain says the line,
IF winter comes can spring be
far behind" is by Shakespeare.
The major says he doesn't know
who wrote the line but he will
bet il wasn't Shakespeare. How
about it?
A-The major is right. The
line In question is from Shelley's
lode to the West Wind"
Q-Take the expression The
life of Riley" Who was this
Riley?
A-Couldn't say, sir. but win
try to find out Maybe IL wNs
the Same fellow referred to In
tho song I'm the Riley That
Keeps tho Hotel"
Q-What makes blond men
so conceited?
A-Our mules and men de-
partment says blond mon are
made conceited because women
make such a fuss over this typs
of male. The light haired fel-
lows are naturally modest and
not usually conceited as to their
attainments In general. But
when q fellow IL besieg e d.
bothered and beloved by females
by the dozen you can hardly
blame him for becoming q little
conceited as to standing as .
ladies man.
Detroit evening times., 1943-08-23
How to Submit
Your Problems
To Clinic Experts

Write your problems 20
WAR PROBLEM CLINIC,
The Detroit Times, Detroit.
Mich.
You must sign your name
and address. although no
names will be published but
will be held in strictest con-
fidence. Do NOT write di-
rectly 10 members OF the
panel,
These authorities make up
the WAR PROBLEM CLINIC
panel:
Judge James r. Chenot
Edward Pokorny
Rev. Joseph 4. Foley, =. j.
Fred VI. ButZel
Dr. Robert q. Foster
Dr. Alfred McClung Lee
Mrs. Frances Sanderson
Miss Elva VI. Forncrook
John II. Watkins
Mrs. Irene r. Murphy
Miss Mary VI. O'Neill
Walter II. Z. Scott
Detroit evening times., 1943-08-23
Woman Fears Husband
Loves Some One Else

War Problem Clinic:
Until Just lately my home was
a happy one We nave TWO small,
lovely children. Now my husband
seems 10 be falling in love with
l9-year-old girl who works al
the war plant where he does.
NV husband is 2S. Try to
keep the children, myself and our
home attractive 10 him and ne
loves his children dearly. When
We are alone ne seems 10 enjoy
beng with me. but each evening
she waits for HIM AZ work and
they 20 somew here for while
love him and do not want my
home broken up. Could YOU
please help me-
MRS f. J W.
Dear Mrs. r.. y. w:
Are you sure How do you
know?
These are questions that I'M
mediately occur To me when
read your letter.
These war times. with ride
sharing and many other new OPP
portunities for men and women
to he thrown together. do create
possibly more situations that
NAV worry wives than usual,
hut YOU say that your husband
has affection for YOU and your
children, and II IL doubtful that
he will want To throw away
what YOU represent to him for
the girl YOU mention.
All that I can suggest is:
Keen your sense Of humor. BE
very sure before you take any
step-.uch "a open discussion NJ
the "other woman"-that would
create a breach between YOU
md him. II you are convinced
that he Is actually "two-timing
YOU, then I would urge you TO
try 20 get some respected mu-
tuaI friend 10 try To reason
with him and bring him to his
senses. Other than that the
only thing you could do would
he 10 leave him. and naturally
YOU do not want To break up
YOUR children's home unless
some adjustment cannot pc
worked out.
DIR. ALFRED McCLUNG LEE.
Detroit evening times., 1943-08-23

secretary who didn't laugh az
my Jokes. Impossible! Could l
ask TO have her turned in for a
new girl. one who smiled? OF
course not, because then the
management would question
whether my script was really
funny or not. So we suffered on
with Iva in an atmosphere OF
gloom that might serve appro-
priately for the creation OF A
Frankenstein picture, perhaps,
but never for a comedy.
We suffered her for a week.
and then. one day, we concocted
line that the three OF us
thought was screamingly funny.
i dictated il TO Iva, and she
didn't crack a smile. Finally l
lost my patience and said 10 her:
"Iva, don't you think that's q
funny line?"
Iva. as absolutely desd-panned
as the Sphinx, said:
"Hilarious. This Ia the fun
niest script I've ever worked
on"
Then why don't you laugh
I asked.
And Iva's expression became
even more tragic.
Perhaps later, I might laugh.
Just now =" and she broke
of with a little catch in her
throat.
We sensed some tragedy in
her life. and we stopped bother
ing her We were almost A
little ashamed OF ourselves. and
we took care TO be especially
nice TO her from then on
Then. suddenly about two
weeks later. while we were
reading over a bit OF dialogue.
Iva broke into a howl OF laugh
ter. When we quieted her down
finally. / demanded an explana-
tion OF her sudden change in
attitude.
very simple" Iva said Tho
dentist removed my braces yes
terday."
ONE last story. Although I
~ have been in this country
for II years, ! still have Ger
man accent. One night. we had
trial blsckout and, since ! am
an air raid warden. ] grabbed
my fiashlight and helmet and
went out on duty. Noticing that
there was still one light burning
in the home of the screen writer
Walter Relsch. also a German
and also full Of accent. l ran
across his lawn and shouted
walter, there IL q light on.
Put II out, please"
Very well. Ernst. shall put
II out Immediately.
And then. from the darkness,
came third voice, in awe
and wonder:
MY God, have the Nazis
land ed ?"
Detroit evening times., 1943-08-23
Americans Different,
Lubitsch Says
On Broadway
For Walter WincheII

Trad. Mark R.sist.rsd. Copyright ls<s
Detroit evening times., 1943-08-23
Bv T.. v. Durling

Distributed by King Features synd.. iSe
Detroit evening times., 1943-08-23

While Waitsr WinehsU 10
JWay. his column wW be con-
uetsd by guest contributors.
Evening star., 1943-10-13

Price, Moy Vcrv SLIGHTLY In MARYLAND
and Virginia Stores on q FeD Items
Which Are Under State Contract LauS.
RIGHT Reserved to Limit Quantities.
Evening star., 1943-10-13
SHAVING CREAMS

Soc Burma Shave, 1aPound Jar
75c Mo'e Brushess Shave 8-Ounce Jar---------59 Jar SEC
SOC Williams Luxury Shave Cream, Jar
SOC Williams Glider Shave Cream, Jar------------2ec
PamoGve Brushless Shave 5-Ounce Jar-----39c
Colgate Brushless Shave 5-Ounce Jar3e 3ec
35e lngrams Shave Cream Bring Tube)
2se Lifebuoy Shave Cream bring Tube) )----1se
Evening star., 1943-10-13

It's the new Cigarette Valet-grard for entertain
lng-a unique gift. Just plug it in. follow th
simple directions. and let it you with on
freshly lighted cigarette after another!
Evening star., 1943-10-13
Leaves Hair Soft and Silky
SHAMPOO

Just a thrifty small amount
whips into a rich lather-
rinses easily, leaves your hair
softer to see and to touch.