davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-08-21

made ~ hard boiled eggs and
The other KIND made OF tough,
Co'icd-up fish. then 20 on 90
good rousing dinner az the Kan
SaS City Steak Joint and after
visiting few hot spots wind up
a. the Dirty Spoon for a few
wafNeS. doughnuts, wheat cakes
and coffee.
Instead Of ioering AZ the fel-
low with an irritable colon after
night like tins. YOU ought 10
compliment hlS colon on show
ING great common sense in get
ting nd Of The dregs Of the
evenings debauch.
I'VE treatment OF the irritable
colon patient then is fairly
simple First is psychological.
lie must get IL through his
dome he is not a visiting fire
man type II sometimes takes
a long time 10 do this.
The other part 81 the treat
ment is dietary Eat tho things
that arc simple 10 digest and do
not subject your digestive syS-
tom 10 tcN' Of strength with
Naturo'S most durable foods
4 sample smooth" diet for
those people is
Beverages Coffee; cream,
matted milk.
Bread and cereals White
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-08-21
Support Allotment
Sought by Ex.Wife

War Problem Clinic:
Ny former husband has been in
the service for a year and, UP
until the time ! remember. had
been sending me money for the
support Of our two sons.
He never filled out an allotment
or made any arrangements 10 take
care of them, / am expecting a
baby soon and little extra money
would help.
/ was the beneficiary of his
policy. Do you think he can and
will change IL?
MRS. p. w.
Dear Mrs. r. w:
Your children, whose father
IL In military service, are en-
titled To receive the benefits OF
the soldiers allotment. You
may file an application with the
government, IL the father, fails
TO do so.
suggest you 20 to the office
Of the American Red Cross.
Chamber of Commerce Bldg, at
500 W. Lafayette. They will
give you information about the
Insurance.
EDWARD PoKoRNY.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-08-21

Bv Dr. Logan CIendening

INTESTINAL forutude IS the
i kind Of phrase that can lead
to some misunderstanding ! am
not sure that ] agree with tho
general conception that relates
mental 20 organic types / have
known Severa people win
good hearts who have made a
moss Of their own and their
family lives
So with intestinal fortI'ude.
Lots Of people have intoStInes
which run away but como back
10 fight another day l am
speaking NJ The people who
euphemiStically and IN the most
polite circles are referred 10 ~
irritable colons
|tow this simply means that
IMeir colonS are not made Of
iron, but Of flesh and blood II
means that their colons shy of
a little when put through the
routine Of showing the visiting
| fireman tho town Saturday
night
The visiting fireman has no
irritable colon-where his large
intestine ought n be is some
thing in between a Flying For
treSs and festung Europa
SATURDAY night they start
~ al Good Charleys. cat
shnVelful OF those sandwiches
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-08-21

Good citizenship is duty which
should be fulfilled gladly by every
loyal American.
One Of the most important
aspects OF good citizenship is the
display OF proper respect for the
laws Of the country. established
for the wellbeing OF the entire
population.
Sometimes people are inclined
10 be impatient AZ restrictions for
which they cannot Immediately
see n value. However, there is
sound reason behind these laws
and they must be obeyed II the
citizens arctic prosper
Edward Pokorny. Wayne County
Friend OF the Court, explains this
10 a young woman who has eX-
pressed Impotence because she
and her fiance must wait until a
certain time has elapsed before
they can legally be married,
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-08-21

Beauty Of face is a trail orr1-
meHt,
A passing fowsr, a brightness
Ft9HeHtaFF,
A thing belonging only to the
skin.
-Moliers.
Beauty of face is, Of course.
only a small part of beauty in
general. According toCMoresco
there are these points ot beauty
("Three are white; the skin,
the teeth. the hands. Three red:
lips, cheeks, nails. Three long:
body, hair, hands. Three sborti
ears, teeth, chin. Three wide:
the breast. the forehead, the
space between the eyes. Three
narrow: the waist, the hands,
the feet. Three thin: the fingers,
the nostrils, the ankles. Three
plump: the lips, the arms, the
hips"
4 DAUGHTER is more likely
"A 10 inherit the talents of a
father than a son. This includes
talent for business. So claim
deep students Of heredity. To
sHbstantiate this claim exam
pies are cited OF daughters who
have been successful in handling
the business OF their fathers
after sons failed 10 display any
unusual business ability.
No doubt when business men
In general become conscious Of
the fact that they have passed
on their talent 10 their daugh-
ters we will see signs reading
John Martin a. Daughters, or
William Jones a. Daughters.
There's an idea there at that.
a firm name such as John Mar
tin e. Daughter would attract
a lot OF attention.
DURING the race riots in the
~ Harlem section Of New
York City in 1895 when the
shops OF white people were be-
ing destroyed Chinese laun-
dry7ran put up sign. ME Col
ored. Too" This seemed funny
ar the time but now il is food
for serious thought. -
How often the spell Of
beauty Il rudely broken by
coarse. loud talking How pleas
ant II IL to hear a woman talk
in that low KEY which always
CharacteriZes the true lady"
said Charles Lamb. I'm the
sanctuary Of home how such a
voice soothes the fretful child
and cheers the weary husband"
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-08-21
Letters DO Not Come,
Soldiers Girl Worried

War Problem Clinic:
When my soldier friend came
home on furlough, he spent all
his time with me. even oYerstay-
ing his time. After he left, l
heard from him only once Do
you think he is in the guard house
and cant write or maybe over
seas? Hoy can I find out where
ne IS stationed MISS II. -,
Dear Miss IT. b.:
The only way ] know that
YOU can contact him IL 10 CON
tinue 10 write 10 him at his last
known address. am sure that
he will write 10 you IL II Is
possible.
MISS MARY VI. O'SEILL.
assistant director, metropolitan
Detroit, USO.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-08-21

QUERIES from clients G.
W Did you have a nickname
when a kid
Al had several. One was
"Dodo." The high school base
ball coach gave me this. Not
knowing it's significance looked
II up and found a dodo defined
ss "a clumsy bird unable to fiy."
Q-Here's a query for you 10
fool around with. How many
EportS- does Shakespeare men,
ton and In what plays7
A--That's good question.
Maybe you could have sent IL
TO a quiz program and won an
encyclopaedia with II. I'll say
that Shakespeare mentioned bill
lizards In Antony and Cleo
patra," wrestling, In AS You
Like It," and tennis In Henry
the Eighth"
Owe became acquainted
through mutual interest in
your column. Now we are mar
ried. We expect a baby soon.
We want you TO name II. Don't
fail us now.
Ar a boy name him Colin
after Capt. Colin Kelly. II
girl name her Veronica after
st. Veronica who Ia said 10 have
handed her kerchief TO Christ
while he was on his way TO
Calvary.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-08-21
Wife In Institutions
Soldier Seeks Counsel

War Problem Clinic:
/ am a soldier and have a wife
in Eloise State Hospital in Mich
igan. She has been patient
there ever since July 3, 1887
Under the circumstances can
get a divorce from her in the
She hrs beer
pronounced insane by the probate
court. PVT. G.. &.
Pvt. G.. CO
You cannot get a divorce In
Michigan upon the sole ground
OF insanity.
You should consult a lawyer
- To the existence Of any
grounds for divorce from the
date Of marriage TO the date of
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-08-21
How TO Submit
Your Problems
To Clinic Experts

Write your problems 10
WAR PROBLEM CLINIC,
The Detroit Times, Detroit,
Mich.
You must sign your name
and address, although no
names will be published but
will be held in strictest con-
-ffferce. write Or
rectly to members of the
panel.
These authorities make up
the WAR PROBLEM CLINIC
panel:
Judge James r. Chenot
Edward Pokorny -l--
Rev. Joseph A. Foley, s. j.
Fred VI. ButZel
DIR. Robert q. Foster
DIR. Alfred McClung lee
Mrs. Frances Sanderson
Miss Elva VI. Forncrook
John r.. Watkins
Mrs. Irene r.. Murphy
Miss Mary VI. O'Neill
Walter III. T.. Scott
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-08-21
Lack of Servants
Causes Trouble

ployer. I am very sorry for the
ladies, but I cannot help re-
membering that in the city Of
New York prior to the current
gold rush, some of them consid-
cred SIS per week ample remun-
GRAFTON for unstinted effort by
a household employee.
I DO not say that So was the
Il average. AS a matter of fact,
/ think the average was even
lower in those days. The foul
sleeping quarters, the poor food
and the amount Of work inn
posed upon household employees
by some ladies in New York and
elsewhere a few years ago when
the employees had TO take IL or
starve. is almost unbelievable,
hence I cannot but feel that the
present shortage is just retri-
button for the ladies.
or course. there is an alter
native TO the abandonment OF
the big houses, which might
stem the tide that is leaving
veritable castles a drug on the
market. The ladies might do
the work themselves. hesitate
In offering this suggestion,
knowing how allergic many la
dies become to a broom once
the old man accumulateS enough
dough TO install them in big
h Gus es, but at least il is a
thought. They can take it or
leave il. The price is 6 TO )
they leave IT,
Copyright. 1913, by King Features
Distributed by International News Service
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-08-21
Mother Asks Aid
for Sons Illness

War Problem Clinic:
Ny husband is in the army, and
my little boy is very sick. The
doctor SAYS he needs his adenoids
taken out Can You tell me OF
any place I can So 70 get help IN
this matter? MRS. B. NJ.
Mrs B NJ;
You should consult the medi-
cal and dental aid Of the Wayne
County Medical Society, 442l
Woodward. They will he able
IN help YOU work out some plan
10 have your little boy taken
care Of at minimum expense
to you. THE CLINIC.
War Problem Clinic:
Is there any possible way Of
checking 10 find whether or not
a particular SeTviceUan who has
been in the service for two years
overseas AZ the present tme)
has had a furlough7
MISS II. F.. P.
Miss II. v. r.:
There 10 no wav YOU can find
this ont, except by inquiring
through his family or friends.
THE CLINIC.
War Problem Clinic:
My boy friend has been over
seas for the past two years, and
I had almost given up hope Of see
ing him until the war is over.
Recently I heard that Servicemen
overseas is months or longer will
be sent home n rest and new boys
will be sent in their place. Is
this trIe7 MISS w. w.
Miss w. w:
There IL no set time at the
erH nf which your bov friend
might receive 4 furlough. IL IL
Die he may receive one
being overseas 90 long,
but we cannot tell you when
this might be.
THE CLINIC.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-08-21
Donald Offers
COlumniStS Advice

day. Overcome with imagined
pains, he rushed TO his own
physician 10 insist that he had
kidney trouble, The medico ex-
planned that in that particular
affection there were no pains
nor discomfort of any kind.
II knew IT," screamed Skol-
sky, my symptoms exactly"
How many men have mar
IL RED a handful Of wives!
How many women have taken
on new husbands as often as
new spring coats! Apparently
only Tommy Manville and
Peggy Hopkins Joyce, though /
am sure there are many more.
But, for example. just the other
day T. Manville was enrolling
for some local civilian defense
work and being interviewed by
a superior Msnville answered
question after question with a
serene countenance until his
questioner asked:
And how many times, air,
have YOU been married .
What IL this" screamed Man.
vile, "a memory test?"
The spacefillers have chosen
those two fortunates 10 be VIC
times Of notwithstanding
Just as they have built up
George Jean Nathan as the
only drama critic ever 10 say
an unkind word about the the
arer If the following mad corr
cerned Kelley Allen, the benign
drama dean OF Wnnen's- Wear
Daily. II would never find It's
way into a Broadway column.
But merely because a certain
third-rate playwright happened
10 Accost the great Nathan him.
self the other night AT Dinty
Moore's, the event must be re-
corded-or a mighty institution
would crumble.
"Lemme tell you about my
new play" insisted the serb
bier. The hero Is stoker on
o cargo ship he's torpedoed,
gets stranded on a desert island
and the natives, who never
heard OF the war, make him
=ktng+Gan= fat=see= the terrific
possibilities for complications 9"
-..Yes7@rT4tfr4Htsrrd=aSathattr
reaching for his hat and the
door chiefly of a financial ma
ture.'
ONE would think that only
~ Dorothy Parker and George
& Kaufman created a bon mot
and it's surprising what a great
percentage Of tUp smart GIs-
logue IN columns is originated
by this brilliant duo.
And 50 u goes. VIII the
ScribeS ever come out of their
4'feeAietafe-e VIII they con-
tinue 10 build columns on foun-
dauonS Of old ruts? Columns.
for example. like this one?
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-08-21
Connolly Answers

la Barcelona; CO.. Mar
seille: (c) none.
2-(a) 1876; tb) 1898; (o) 1921.
3-(a) Florida; (b) Maryland;
tc) Oklahoma.
IA Etna, th) northern; Co
piazza.
5--(a) Will not burn: (b) re-
fleets the light Of the sun;
(c) the presence Of hsemo-
globin.
6-ta) Jesse; Oh John the Bap-
fist. (c) Noah
Ia Burma; tb) Italy; tc)
France.
Copyright. ie4s by K'ng Features
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-08-21

new abode his worst fear Of the
change. the etcetera I have
mentioned above, is realized.
He is inevitably thrown into
that proximity 10 the old ever
loving that for years he escaped
in the big house.
And does he escape the beefs?
No, my friends, no. He gets
plenty Of them, only now they
are about the apartment or no.
tel service. or the food in the
restaurant where they dined out
last night, and besides he has 10
walk the dog. I hope and trust
that the former household en-
ployes who are causing this
deplorable situation shed a tear
now and then for the old man.
IT all goes back 10 the short
Il age Of household employees.
or what is generally known as
domestic help. The ladies who
employ such help call this
shortage servant trouble" The
ladies are greatly depressed be-
cause the average household
employee prefers a job in a de-
Tense plant 10 sweeping and
busting and washing and IRON
ing and cooking and waiting on
table and bearing with ornery
brats, especially when the de-
Tense job pays more.
The ladies are having diff
Guilty comprehending a desire
for freedom from more or less
mental service and certainly
mental status in a household
and for more liberty Of move
ment and less sass from an en-
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-08-21
The Brighter Side

7 HAVE learned why so many
Il IF our citizens in our large
cities and probably in the small
or ones, too, are abandoning big
houses and seeking shelter in
apartments and hotels. I mean
the citizens who are able 70 af-
ford big houses in the first in
stance and apartments and
hotels in the second
The citizens who live in lit
lie houses like those provided
for defense workers are lust
putting dishpans under the
leaks in the roof and staying in
the houses. They cannot afford
the apartments or hotels in
spite Of all YOU hear about the
money the defense workers are
making. But there l 60 again
with my sospboX.
Well the reason for the
hcgira mentioned IS the fact
that the old man gets tired lis
teninC 10 beefS. He does not
want To leave his big house and
all its comforts. etcetera. for the
close confinement Of apartment
or hotel quarters, but the beefs
plumb wear him out. The beefs
come from the old lady, other
wise the ever-loving. who else
ever beefs 10 the old MANI
DEF, beef, beef, from morn
- ing until night. Beef, beef,
beef. The cook. The maid. The
gardener. The ration coupons
The nurse. Beef, beef, beef. So
the old man finally says oh,
lets move. SO he moves and in
the cramped quarters Of his
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-08-21
Quick Answers

Male.
Senator from Illinois. He
lost y
3 Benjamin Harrison \>l
4 Jackson. in 1924. The cleo
ton was thrown INTO The
House Of Representatives.
which chose John Quincy
Adams, After his term as
president. Adams became a
representative
5-The Yukon. which is the
fifth large~ river IN the
world.
6 Ants.
Copyright 1913, BY Kins Features
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-08-21

IT DON'T even have 10 mention
i his name but you'll know
who he 10 anyway The columns
have, by now, convinced yOu
that he is the only man who
ever insulted anybody THAT is,
the only man besides Geo. Der
nard Shaw who ever inSulted
anybody bar that's stlll ar
other anecdotel1 lic was lcsv-
ing z dufi get-together the other
night
eve had wonderful eve
ming . il4A-A-.tA La i+el-i- 4F4tl4f
way out, hut this wasn't a..
G. 3. Shaw is one Of the
worlds great inSul'crs, and he
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-08-21
BPnifO's Boasts boomerang
Our Axis Coptives Eat
Without OPA Coupons
BY ARTHUR BUGS" BAER

The American boy will whip his weight in wildcats and
divers shoes the scales
Put him on land in the air He will grow hoofs,
Ans feathers to match the occasion
haven't forgotten the sneering words Of Adolf and
Benito that the democraces the hall
carpet in old boarding house.
They drummed that bit OF propaganda into for 10
and Those old Dephc oracles stepped
their chns The American boy has already liberated Australia
The old Desert Fox Rommel and Sandhog Montgomery
had played touch Africa for couple of years Then
lmething happened that made Romme he
his umbrella
He didn't pick up his bed and walk because
burning Rommel got TRANSMISSION of rcochets from
clay pigeon ana few OF c0nvusve tangent.
He left his Italians Esenhowers doorstep, The Ger
did the thing in Sioy to Blood Cuts Patton
Now have hundreds Of thousands of prisoners answering
three star spanged mess-cals every day in the year
The price Of victory is millions of weekend guests.
My only squawk is not to capture too many make
them get their ration points like the rest If us.
by Fsatl
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-08-21
List Penalties
of Overeating

bread. crackers. white rice:
spaghetti; noodles mscaroni.
cream Of wheat exclude whole
wheat products, bran or other
forms of celulose1
Vegetables Mashed potatoes
PURGE Of peas beans aspera-
gus, beets. carrots
LRUITS Ripe bananas;
Il strained range juice
strained tomato Juice
Desserts Custsrd. gelatin,
rice pudding; cornstarch pud-
ding sponge cake, angel food
cake; blancmange.
Sources Of protein Cottage
cheese; American cheese cream
cheese eggs chicken white
meat FISH; scrsped beef; cream
soups
Other foods Salt; butter;
olive oil
QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS
Q Could infAmmed gums
and teeth cause neuralgia pains
for months a =.
A-Dr. Donald Munro. we'll
known neurosurgeon oi Boston,
wrote on June 3, 1913, Pulp
stones, malocCluSion. APPEAL In
fections and pyorrhes cause
equally severe facial pain.
@ Can all vegetables he
eaten by a person having gall
bladder trouble Should they
be cooked e. II. L.
A-The only foods that affect
the gallbladder are fats. so
vegetables are all right cooked
or raw.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-08-21

doesn't cat meat. Now there
are millions Of people who do
not cat meat (about 1000 600
in New York City alone who
don't ever SEE meat, but the
ColumnistS have chosen Mr..
Shaw from the ranks as the
vegetarian OF all time. And so.
you are told how, while dining
~ Sir James Barrys home in
London, the bearded bard had
before him his usual fare OF
greens and melon and vege-
tables which Barry observed
WIN III concealed distaste.
After finishing this repast.
GBS. looked UP contentedly
and remarked
Everything has been wonder
ful, Sir James, except for the
artificial flowers on the table.
Why don't you use real fow-
erS?"
What" Snorted Barry, land
have YOU eat them, too"
YOU have the written word OF
Il the journalists that Sidney
=Skn4$E.---tAts= s;.tatit.iaae- Holly
wood CoiunrIst. Is the worlds
-fprr#r=t-tt7EFT Observation-Disclosures
ever ! see that five-syllable
word IN print Sldney's name
pops into my mind. There must
he some one VINO IS MORE Of a
hypochondriac but you cant
prove u by any OF The columns
I've read. Sk0iSkY Is 10 hypo-
chondriac what Watson was 70
trTP ryTJ1rtrrT11r and always
VIII bc unless columnists heed
my advice and turn over a new
leaf I'm the book of anecdotes I
believe then. every word Of the
-AiA4--- - Asef4 La pa tihtFE4t s Sidney
happened 80 verb ear two
studio doctors discussing = pa
TENTS kidney allnent the other
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-08-21

TIVE national average for
l. marriages ending inldivorces
Is one in ak. In Chicago II is
one in three. I cannot under
stand why this sad state of
affairs exists. Maybe the Chi
cago girls don't read enough Of
those how 10 hold a husband"
articles.
In Texas some companies
have been granted permission by
the state labor commission 70
work women employees 70 hours
a week. Those New York estab-
lishmentS OF the yesteryear
known as sweat shops" only
worked employees go hours a
week. I haven't the records
handy but 1 doubt that Simon
Legree worked his help as much
as 20 hours a week.
MY DISTINGUISHED col
w league Bill Corum says
Riley Grammar, the amous
gambler, was born in Lexing-
ton, KY. will bet Major Corum
one stogie that Riley Grammar
was born in Paris, KY.
Reading the dictionary can be
interesting. Especially if you
are searching for quaint defini-
lions. Here's a definition Of
laughter / came upon.
"A convulsive action Of the
respiratory muscles accompa-
MED by q succession OF short
vocal sounds induced by sudden
Joy or mirth."
TOMMY WADELTON JR,
Il Sixteen-year-old author.
When 13 Tommy attracted con-
siderable attention by writing
book titled My Mother is
a Violent Woman" He followed
this with one titled: MY Father
Is a Quiet Man" His latest
book is Army Brat"
Carl Brisson. night club en-
tertainer. He is Rosalind Rus
sells father-ln-law. Mr.. Brisson
once offered ten rules for a
happy marriage" One OF these
was:
Always dance the first dance
with your wife and hold her
close"
l forget the other nine.
Jack Campbell. Handicapped
for the New York racetracks.
The basic idea of handicapping
by weights is 10 afford every
horse In the race an equal
chance 10 win. Therefore. the
more photo finishes at a track,
the better the Handicapped.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-08-21
War Problem Clinic
Good Citizens hi . Duty
OF Every American

court order sdjudlcating your
wife TO be mentally lncom-
petent,
EDWARD POKORNY.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-08-21
BY PETER DONALD

by fEIEh DONALD
|NITH the world undergoing a
historic upheavsl. and the
ID order giving way 10 new
practically every hour on the
hour. il is time Broadway and
Hollywood column writers and
gag men tossed some fresh
Chestnuts on the fire.
Perhaps the most far-reach-
Ing reform these gentlemen
could effect would he TO aban-
don some OF the stock personah-
ties they have kept alive for
such a long time. After all,
Sam Goldwyn and Michael
Curtiz are not the ONLY men
who ever misused the English
language TO comic effect. Sto-
kowski Is not the ONLY tenn
peramentAl man in the world.
The Temperance ociety
could probably give us statistics
on tipplers, but for the record
only W c. Fields ever touched
drop, If the colunnists are 70
be believed.
EOR example. the other day
w, {. was suffering from
one Of his daily hangoverS
"May I fin you seItzer ."
suggested the waiter.
"Ye gods, no" moaned Fields.
81 couldn't stand the noise -
You all know what a Vora-
cious eater Alfred Hitchcock is.
In sure you do The typewriter
tappers have lived for years off
the fat OF the man tet this be
the last time ! mention his cult
nary ecccntricitieS. He dlned
recently At the rather sparse
table OF one Of Hollywood's best
known hostesses twho shall
herein go Misunderstanding,
you know Az the coffee was
brought in 10 the Stiil-starving
director after an OPAegravat-
ingly-Small meal, the hostess