The Ely miner., 1943-11-18

time, even when the answers to all
these questions might be "No."
That is, to all but "are you really
in love?" However brief the illu-
sion the answer to this would al
ways be Eyes"
Being sin love" is indeed a brief
illusion, and any marriage based
wholly upon that is bound to bring
disappointment. There has to be
more than the irresistible drawing
together, the ecstatic physical need
for one another that we call "being
in love-"
And for the other three questions;
well, we all know men and women
who hadn't known each other well,
who hadn't the same backgrounds
or interests, who were perfectly
aware that after a long separation
they would seem strangers, and who
yet have carried war marriages
along from 1916 and 1917 to the
proud days of grandparenthood and
the Silver Wedding.
The essential to happy marriage,
or happy living at all, lies in the
word character" Men and wom-
en- of fine character will make
success of any marriage, or of any
circumstances that follow mar
riage; weaklings won't. There is the
situation in a nutshell.
The wise war bride of today will
begin now to build for the time
when her soldier comes home. She
will realize that in this long sep
aration she must hold him by her
sweetness, her sympathy, her in
telligent interest in what interests
him; her growth in self-forgetful-
ness, service, faith and hope while
he is away.
She will work. In defense work
or in one of the services; in hos
pitals, canteens, Red Cross work
rooms, machine shops, munition
plants.
She will write. Chatty, affection
ate letters; letters that show Tom
the sort of woman she is. Letters
that prove that she is not absorbed
wholly in movies, good times,
clothes. Letters that reveal her
own developing soul.
Prepare for Future Together.
She will study. It doesn't mat
ter what she studies, as long as
she takes it seriously. If Tom was,
or some day hopes to be, a chemist,
a lawyer, an engineer, a photogra-
pher, a dentist, a teacher, her
course is very clear. Let her en-
roll at the nearest college or busi-
ness school or night school for the
elementary course in his particu-
lar line. Then what she writes in
her letters viii be in his own
tongue.
She will pull her weight at home.
With busting and dishwashing and
answering the telephone and mar
keting, of course, and with the
spiritual counterparts of these serv-
ices as well; cheerfulness, hopeful
ness, merriment, courage.
For Tom may come home waver-
ing slightly In his allegiance, too. He
may remember Mary but vaguely;
she was awfully cute, and her pic
ture was keen, of course, but gosh,
he can't remember-or else he nev-
er knew-what she really was like,
or thought, or believed in.
When he gets back let him meet
a sweet, cultured, busy, useful
woman. A woman who isn't talk
ing about good times with other
men because she has saved up all
those good times to share with Tom.
A woman filled with worthwhile in
terests, eager to plan that long-de-
ferred life of theirs together, hunt
for an apartment, stock a new lit
tie kitchen, order the telephone and
the milk and the newspaper.
Under these circumstances true
men and true women can afford to
forget their hurried weddingtime,
and fall in love all over again.