Evening star., 1943-09-08

Henry McLemore. every one knows
you can't keep. Ignore imitation and
def1ation. Lay of the brotherhood
of man stuff. just come right out
and ask the voters one simple ques-
ton. Ask them If, after IL long
years, they aren't sick and tired Of
looking at those same old Demo-
cratic kissers in the newspapers
every day?
Speaking for myself, I come from
such a long line Of Democrats that
even bet on mules at the race
track, but would be tempted to
vote for party that promised me
change of scenery when ] opened
my newspaper or attended the news
reels.
Take the President, for example.
He is handsome man. But, after
IL years of looking at his face
wish he would grow q mustache or
Van Dyke, or wear monocle, or
even turn his back TO the camera
man when signing state paper.
The President and Winston Church,
Ill could do us all favor by swap
ping tobacco habits. Wouldn's 1t be
relief. just for change, to see
Churchill pulling on cigarette in
long, tapering holder, and our
President pufnng away on black
cigar?
What goes for the President goes
for all the other men who have been
around him since he went into of
flce-llh- -uh--let's see. He sue
ceeded Garfield, didn't he? Why
couldn't Vice President Wallace
show up in his chambers some
morning with q new haircut and
one of those flowing artists ties? 1t
wouldn't interfere with his political
activities. He could 60 to the left
just as easily In that getup as In his
standard one.
As for Harold Ickes, what would
be wrong with having him secre-
tary- Interfering while wearing
one Of those old-fashioned pho
tographer's hoods? You know, one
OF those black numbers the pho
tographers draped over their heads
and which always resulted in the
family portrait being out Of focus
being as the photographer had to
hurry and get out from under this
contraption before he smothered.
1t would add to national hap
piness for Secretary Hull to show
| up at press conference wearing
q zoot suit, with q straw hat cooked
over one eye. His statements would
carry just as much weight and all
of us would enjoy looking at pic
ture of him for the first time In
10 years. For 10 years have been
looking at him in the same suit, a
suit which Mrs. Hull undoubtedly
stitched up for him during their va
cation in 1888.
The Republicans, II they used the
plank would advocate, could argue
that a change in party would bring
. change in faces.
"Pick UP your paper and see 8
new puss" could almost be their
campaign cry. OF course, they
would have to promise that II they
got in and managed to stay in as
long as the Democrats have, they
would do something about it. After
all, Willkie and Stassen and Bricker
and all the other elephant standard
bearers would get just as tiresome
in time as the Democrats. My sug-i
gestion is that they tell the people
that once year Hollywood make
up expert would be engaged to
change the leading Republicans
faces around bit so that the voters
wouldn't get so tired of looking at
them.
Naturally, the Republicans would
hit an insurmountable snag If Will
kie were elected.
I'm giving 20 to 7 that nobody is
ever going to comb Wendells hair.
You might just as well buy box of
cough drops and try to shave the
Smith Bros.
distributed by McNaught Syndicate, IncD
To1~bore ;rad