The Waterbury Democrat., 1943-01-05
THIS IS THE ARMY
(By the soldIers in Irving Berlin's Show
 for Army Emergency Rellef)

According Co the Pay Rate for American soldiers as compared with thu wages the avarage Jap soldier gets, uncle sam considers the Amer can private to be worth 197 Japs Soldiers are flooding the Fifth Ave. Public Library with re- quests for books about Germany, Japan and Italy especially the points of interest in those coun- tries. They're so confident the United States will take over they want to be prepared for a bit of sightseeing. q.
 The Quartermasters Department 1t Philadelphia has asked nnanufac- tl1refs of medallions and decorations to bid on the manufacture of be- tween 5OO,OOO and one million deco- rations to be worn by the soldiers of the Army occupying Germany Rfter the war The D. S. Army tells men: "It is commonly supposed that the first duty of a good soldier is. to make his enemies die for theirs"
 The U. s. runs the largest movie chain in the world-5CO theaters at camps throughout the country ~. The Army soon won't have any dish-breaking problems in its mess halls. The Quartermaster Corps has developed a new shat serproof glass that will bounce like Q golf ball when dropped {. One of the Army's special serv- ives for Its men Is providing mem- oers of the A. E. F. with an op- oortunity to acquire an education 7ia correspondence courses. ...
 Our Average Soldier is more than half an inch taller and nearly 10 pounds heavier than the men of 1917, according to the War Depart ment :. :. Glider pilo.s ere re- ferred to the as the "G-Men of the Air" .... 1.4e Gleeu !..4-.. lof all Army vehicles is 30 miles per hour, regardless of the civil speed limit. The Army wants it's vehicles driven in a manner that will set an example for civilians.
 As the result of a survey made by the Quartermaster Corps, all government issues of Army trous- ers, in the future, will be more roomy around the seat :. A Negro private, after being issued his Army clothing at Fort Sill recently, was asked about the fit of his new uni- form. Why, these duds fits fine, Sagint," he replied, "but do you mind if I buys another pair of pants for jitterbugging?"
 This is the Army! The aver age soldiers favorite. dessert is apple pie The reason why Uncle Sam gives his soldiers lots of beans is because dietitians recom- mend them as the best food for repairing and building up the body tissues When 8 soldier goes overseas, his excess personal belongings are boxed up and stored for him by the Quartermaster Corps E. At Fort Moulytree, all used razos blades go into tin cans on whith is printed: Blades placed in this container will be dropped on Tokio and Berlin at a later datel"
 Although the New steel helmet is slightly heavier than the 1917 model the soldiers don't mind the extra weight. They claim the new helmet is 8 hair-restorter because 1t stiHhu- late1 the scalp by bouncing around on the head ..
 During the Arrny's recent maneuv- CTS, the boys discovered lots of uses for their new steel helmets. It makes a good seat just outside the pup tent, sort of a front stoop. It's an excellent container for the things a soldier takes out of his pockets be- fore going to sleep. It can be used for taking baths. And it's the finest outdoor washtub ever de- agred = 1t holds at least two shirts and a couple of pair of socks.
 Army Slang: Insects are mech anized freckles" .. A wastebas- ket is known as "File 13," and the nut house is Section Eight" :. Nurses are Snow Whites," and a ietter from the girl friend is a sugar report" The guard house is the "Cross-bar hotel' and woolen underwear are "Superman drawers" The bugler is "Ga- briel," many is "E Pluribus," ard 3 garbage truck is a "honey- wagon"