Evening star., 1943-09-17

has read a medical book. To her
"Grays' Anatomy" is just another
work by that fellow who spent so
much time writing elegies in country
chrchyards.
But this lack of medical knowl-
edge doesn't daunt her at all. In
her own mind she is combination
of Sir william Osler, the right wing
of Johns Hopkins, and full sister
to the Brothers Mayo. Without any
hesitation whatever, with quick
ness of decision that almost makes
the patient feel as II she knew what
she was talking about. she will give
her diagnosis. No chest humping,
no "Lemme see your tongue" busi-
ness, no taking Of temperature or
counting Of pulse.
"Just Little Cold"
She simply stares at you fixedly,
and diagnoses. Her diagnosis Is
always the same. If I have a sore
throat or sore wrist, a crick in my
neck, or pain in my side, she always
says, POO. There's nothing to that.
You've just caught little cold in it."
I am quite sure that I could come
hobbling in with a broken leg and
she would say, You'll be all right
in the morning. You've just caught
little cold in the leg"
Often she is right in her diagnosis.
But name me man, particularly
man who is husband, VINO wants
his ailments to be so lightly dis
missed. One of the great rights Of
a husband is the right to complain,
and loudly, when he has the smallest
ache or pain. I want the works
when have the slightest ache. I
want hot water bottles, thermom-
eters, chicken broth, breakfast in
bed. neighbors calling up, and COM
plete hand-and- foot waiting on.
I like tiptoes on the stairs and
hushed voices. I want the entire
machinery of the household to be
retooled to take care of me. It's
pretty discouraging, let me tell you,
to toss on bed of pain with head
ache, and hear CHEEKY voice down.
stairs explaining to some one over
the phone, "Oh, Henry's perfectly
all right. He just caught a little
cold. If I don't pay any attention
to him he'll get bored and be up in
the middle of the afternoon"
Cheats With Veterinarian.
There's another drawback to shar-
ing my rooms and A coupons with a
self-ordained physician, the eminent
DR.. Jean McLemore. She occa-
sionally breaks down and treats RE
with medicine. But she will not
follow the instructions on the Eo.,.e
or box. If the label says, Two pills
| before retiring" she insists on my
taking three early in the morning.
If you're supposed to take them
on getting up, I get them when I
go to bed. And she won't use the
standard remedies you get at q
drugstore without prescription for
what they were made for. She rubs
me with cough syrup and gives me
dose of liniment. Once she gave
me six drops of eye wash in a glass
Of water, and explained to me after
found out what had swallowed,
that surely anything that was good
for the eyes, as tender as they are,
couldn't possibly hurt my stomach.
She doesn't know it, but I am
secretly visiting veterinarian these
| days. When T take the pup out to
have her looked over, I have DR..
Backus look me over, too. He says
that I am in pretty good shape, not
a sign of distemper, practically no
mango to speak of. I tell you, it's
relief to get this kind OF diagnosis
for change. DR.. Backus has never
told me that just had little cold
here or there.
distributed by McNaught Syndicate, Inc.)