The Wrangell sentinel., 1943-05-14
By Genevieve Mayberry

 much is being said these days about balanced diets with the accent on yitamins. Modern research has been taking great strides in an effort to emancipate American housewives, much to the consternation of hus- bands. Science has spread into ey- cry corner of the American scene, but no scientist as yet has had the temerity to suggest that it will ey- entually take the place of butter.
 American husbands, it seems, are getting dangerously near the stage of panic. Let us take, for example, the hypothetical case of John Dough. John Is an average Amer ican husband. married to a gal who is an exponent of science in t h e home
 Picture, if you can, the amiable, hard working John bounding down the stairs of his modest home on a busy Monday morning He is look ing forward to a tasty, smoking hot breakfast with which to begin his hard day Perhaps, thinks John, happily, it will be ham and eggs this morning with some of those de licious flapjaeks pictured on theI package of prepared flour! Boy, oh boy! What a wonderful wife, heI thinks, as he enters the kitchen where the little woman is butter ing around with what looks like anI apothecary's ration of pills and poi tions.
 As John enters the kitchen hisI wife approaches him and lays al solicitiously tender hand on hisI shoulder.
 ''I have a surprise for you, dar-i ling Open your mouth and shut your eyes!"
 It is pretty early in the morning for a successful business man toI wax playful but John has a slight knowledge of the temperamental fe-. male of the species. He thinks, "Oh shucks, she is so sweet and good na tured most of the time. I'd better humor her kittenish ways"
 So he shuts his eyes and opens his mouth Suddenly he hears a dull plunk, plunk that sounds like a lead nickel in a slot machine Two ob- iects, resembling (to Johns horri- | lied imagination) hand grenades, I have been thrown into his mouth. They slide past his Adams apple f and down his gullet before he can gulp, open his eyes and roar out:
 What in thunder was THAT?" He is sure that they they were ar senic capsules!
 That, my precious, was your breakfast. is the answer in honey ed tones Breakfast, says the nor ern science books, should be cheery meal, marked by pleasant conversation.)
 "Oh. gosh," John is* greatly re- lieved, Swell, honey! WHAT?I THAT WAS MY BREAKFAST?" THEM TWO PILLS?"
 'Yes darling. And will you please be careful of your English? Say those pills, not them pills. Why, dear" and the sweet thing waxes fearful" Don't you like my new scientific meals?"
 And John, because he loves her and feels like brute at the sight of tears in. her eyes, pats her on the head and says sure, he's crazy a. bout them Che isl He knows she is a wonderful cook, in fact that's why he married her. Now John is a good, we'll meaning guy, but he is an awfUI liar and rOffou dinIOp,n+ or he never would have said that! His last remark causes what is known in domestic, back yard par lance as a kitchen cataclysm. (An E obsolete phrase not to be found in any of the scientific books, but a ! tradition in most American fam ilies.)
 Eventually, John gets away from the house. His head swims and a large platter of ham and eggs swimming in grease, sways dizzily before his eyes
 Poor John Not only is it like this at breakfast, but at lunch and dinner. On the forty ninth breakfast little Johnnie Jr. look up and pleads, Mother, for forty nine mornings we have had nothing fo1 breakfast but pink pills. Please, can't I have something else?"
 You certainly may, my son. says this up-to-date wife and mother as she plants sterile, safety sealed kiss on his fair young brow, 'To- morrow, I'll give you a green one" And she does. After that the diet changes to purple, then to red and so on through the entire spectrum.
 It is not only in cooking that science has made it's debut into this household Washing the win dows is never done with good old soap and water any more. Not by this scientific gal! Mrs. John Dough uses a very complex chemical solu- tion. (Very expensive and after one application the sashes and sills all have to be replaced, and the Coughs rn 1Icrh