Evening star., 1943-05-05

~ ball season. OBJ
Henry McLemors. servers agreed It
was perhaps, his best effort In 20
years and came away convinced
that fine season of shifting and
snuffling lay ahead for all the citi-
zens Of the isles.
The English summer head cold
season is not to be confused with
the autumn, fall. winter or spring
seasons. The latter are strictly
minor or bush league seasons. When
a man gets cold during one OF
them he gets no real thrill because
he knows that, given a month or
two and a fair share of the breaks,
1t will disappear.
But the summer season, which,
tradition says, begins when Sir Lip
pert feels the first tickle in his nose
and throat and which is nearly
always about this time, gives an
Englishman a real lift. He knows
he is in for a tussle with a foeman
worthy OF his steel and one which
carries guarantee with it.
If the summer cold. or so legend
goes, doesn't stay with a man until
late November, then he can write
Mother Nature and get his money
back, plus postage charges The
English take summer cold in q
very sporting manner. To be hon.
est, they are bit proud of it. know
ing that no other country has one
that can match it for endurance,
annoyance and the feeling of relief
it leaves behind when it finally does
disappear.
Sneeze Popped His Eyes.
I know all of this because have 4
summer cold now. If I hadn't felt
that it would have done Anglo
American relations no good, I would
have put in claim to having
thrown out the first sneeze before
| Sir Lippert. I know I beat him by
good II hours and while his sneeze
only shook his whiskers, my inaug-
ural sneeze unbuttoned my collar,
popped my eyes like a peeping tom
or frog and I am sure must have
rustled all the Kleenex I left home
and wished to goodness I had with
me now.
Being an American, l Immediate
ly started to treat my cold and,
following the procedure all of us do,
first I bullied 1t and tried to intimi-
date 1t with syrups, salves pills and
drops. might just as we'll have
tried to put out Vesuvius In erup-
tion by throwing a handful Of sand
down into the Greater. MY English
cold loved the stuff tried to whip
1t with. 1t Tapped the stuff up and
could swear I once heard 1t ask
for more"
I'll go to bed and stay there until
1t goes away" said to myself and
tucked myself in, determined to stay
until I was cured. That was the
worst thing I could have done. I
learned later that the English sum-
mer cold likes sleeping as we'll as
Rip Van Winkle. 1t asks nothing
more OF life than to get settled COM
fortably In fellows nose, throat
and chest and pull the covers up and
60 to sleep. Its idea Of heaven would
be to retire to cave with bear and
hibernate.
Disdain Is Advised.
An English friend told me to get
out Of bed that I would be there
until the snow few If thought I
could out-game that cold He was
shifting at the time, so I asked him
what he and his countrymen used
for cure. "Disdain.' he said. Just
ignore it. Show it you're a stouter
fellow than it is by walking in the
rain, sleeping in draughts and leav-
ing your topcoat at home when the
weather is sharp and windy. That's
the only method"
Well, following that advice I'm
doing everything I can to snub my
cold and hurt its feelings so that it
will jump from me onto some other
fellow. I never speak of it in front
OF other people. Either I must be a.
poor hand at showing my feelings or
I have got the most callous cold Of
all time, because it acts as II wers
treating it like prodigal son.
One good thing about an English
summer cold is that it is helpful In
blackouts. One gets to know ones
companions snifles and it is a great
help in keeping from getting sepa-
rated in the dark. Anyone who
couldn't follow me, couldn't follow
a barking seal up a one-way street.
distributed by McNausht Syndicate, Inc)