Evening star., 1943-06-24

"'' 1AeAeoIe' IIle government
to bathe in very little more water
| than sparrow uses. Not only is
water scarce in this country, but the
fuel needed to heat water for hot
baths can be used by essential war
industries.
So every bathtub has a Plimsoll's
mark on it. All men of the sea know
what Plmsoll's mark is, it being
the load line on a boat to indicate
the limit Of submergence permitted
by law. The bathtub Plimsoll's
mark is a red streak above which
those who wish to see the Nazis
conquered do not fill the tub.
Palace Tubs Marked.
The tubs in Buckingham Palace
have their Plimsoll's marks and so
do the ancient, little tubs with the
lions feet in Soho, Whitechapel and
other homes not quite as fashionable
SIS the palace.
The tub in my apartment has a
Pllmsoll'S mark and while I have
often longed to pop my Lionel
Stronghold body into brimming tub
OF water I have strictly adhered to
the Governments request and have
never filled the tub above the Grim
son mark. AS result I have had
to learn an entirely new method
OF bathing. When I was learning to
bathe myself as a child, water was
plentiful and it was my delight to
soap the back of the tub until it
was a creased shoot and come rush.
ing down into the water after the
manner of freckled bobsled. AS T
grew older l quit sliding, just as
most Of you undoubtedly did, and
found satisfaction in soaking luxuri-
ously in water so deep that my eyes
and nose scarcely stayed above the
water, rhino-fashion.
If you will pardon me for being
SO intimate, I will describe a recent
bath in my Plinsoll's marked tub.
The water was scarcely a quarter
OF an inch deep. 1t was so shallow
that the celluloid toys which I al
way take into the tub with me
my favorite is pink swan-did not
float but rested on the bottom. Bv
the time had taken care of the
soap and worked up a handful of
lather the water was all used up
and there I sat in a perfectly dry
tub, covered with suds and looking,
I like to think, very much like an
angelfood cake with heavy icing.
Slipped Into Garb.
The next problem was how to
get these suds off. I tried standing
up and shaking them off like a
dog drying himself In front of a
fire, I tried rubbing them off with
a towel. I tried pretending they
weren't there and slipped into my
clothes-and when I say Slipped"
mean slipped.
AS I walked down the street peo-
pie turned and guessed as to what
I smelled like I could hear passers-
by saying, LUX, Camay, Wood
bury's. Lifebuoy, Octagon. CASH
mere Bouquet, Ivory, PalmoIve" and
any other of the standard brands
which advertise in your newspaper.
AS a matter of fact I am using an
English war soap called "Austerity
Sandpaper" which is the only soap
I have ever seen which penetrates
the epidermis and cleanses the
veins. Four more washings with
this abrasive cake and 1 will be
hanging in some medical center
while interns point out my bones.
There was a. saying in the last
war that cleanliness was not next
to Goodness but next to impossible.
I would like to say that unless the
Plimsolls mark in my tub is raised,
my next newspaper offer will be to
act as editor of the Hobo News and
when walk into a drawing room
not only eyebrows but windows will
be raised.