davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Waterbury Democrat., 1943-01-08

ODE TO C.C.N.Y. CHEER LEADERS Your AlagarOO Will never do!
 It's plain you can't yell! It's not SubstantyelI!
The Waterbury Democrat., 1943-01-08

Fort Riley in Kansas has been deluged with boving gloves sent by managers, promoters and fans since Joe Louis requested them for the boys in his boxing classes.
The Waterbury Democrat., 1943-01-08

SUGGESTION solving gas Gag bOne haahhmr
The Waterbury Democrat., 1943-01-08

artificial coong attain that royal purple complexion that only he the the Pats er cover the gloae no in his voice more provocative and the twinkle in his eye Patrick call foul him just get belly laugh out of his hilarious pantome and sound effects aze than boarding house hedbug
The Waterbury Democrat., 1943-01-08

SUGGESTION for solving the transportation problem: Eleanor home!
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-01-28
SfrHiIjGckPf for Crib
Sgt. Dizzy Dan Husks
jap Sub Like Peanut
BY ARTHUR BUGS" BAER

Pete Spear of Hammond Ind to bat again with
tough sergeant who qualities like cruler at dunking
contest
Fete says his name is Dizzy Dan. He tough the
stork brought him in a straitjack
Dizzy big and tall that he had to wear sash
weights his shirt tail to keep il in.
Pete says Dizzy Dan is at Guadalcanal He waded
into the water and pulled up a two-man submarine.
Dizzy Dan, sheled 1t like peanut.
When the two Japs got going they faster than
beer.
Dizzy Dan the two.man submarine for water
proof match box
When Dizzy Dan walks into joint the face the bar
room floor hides in the cellar.
Pete says whe Dizzy Dan puts his foot the brass rail
it huns like the A-string a VIOLIN
In battle Dizzy Dan has heart cold seal meat out
side an gloo
We with Dizzy Dan until the bench breaks, and then
Wen fight IL out with the spinters.
Copyright,
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-01-28

quantity titled ditty Baltimore
NJ. ID. You Are the Only Doctor
for Me"
NOTE a box score" compare
~ son OF United States and
Jap planes and ships sunk in the
Pacific.
Our side, according TO this
box score seems 10 have a
decided edge.
But why kid ourselves?
Why not publish a box score"
comparison of territory taken
and kept by each side in the Pa
cific?
Greer Carson, who last en-
joyed by far the greatest sue
cess of her long career. was born
under the sign Of Libra.
Rita Hayworth. who also en-
joyed sensational success last
year, is Libra.
In 1941 some star gazers pre-
-dieted 1912 would be a great
year for Libra women.
How did the Libras in your
neighborhood make out?
QUERIES from clients:
" Q-Is there such a thing
as a musical melodrama
A -'Little Boy Blue" In
which Kathleen Clifford starred,
was a musical melodrama.
Q-Is it a fact that a man
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-01-28
u. =. Lottery
Sure to Come

tricate plans presented to me by
my readers. I still think the
simplest method would be an
old-fashioned drawing of num-
bers out Of q wheel. 81
That is the way in which the
draft numbers were drawn and
which in principle Is the way
they decide the prize winners in
the illegal drawings conducted
all over the country, even in
some churches.
These illegal drawings take
millions and millions Of dollars
from the public every year.
THE lottery tickets could he
Il sold through post offices at
little expense TO the govern
ment, OF possibly through Fed
eral Reserve banks. IL the prizes
are TO be in war bonds, which
the banks sell now at a cost to
themselves.
They might be given a COM
mission on the lottery tickets TO
reimburse them for the handling.
think the prizes In the lot
terry should range from as low
as SIS to as high as $50. 900,
bonds and cash, with a number
OF prize-winning tickets that
would make the drawings attrsc-
tive TO all classes, including the
church members who now divert
themselves with the medium
known as bingo, which is as
much lottery as the one under
our flag in Puerto Rico.
Copyright. 1913. by King Feature.
Distributed by international News servie,
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-01-28
The South
American Way

States for 20 years and is one
OF the busiest men in our foreign
service, holding down three
posts.
Get into civilian clothes" he
instructed, I'VE wear uniforms
only on special Occasions--such
as calling on Brazilian diplomats
and the minister of marine. at
tending Iaunchings or laying n
wreath at the monuments of
their heroes and so on"
learned later that the reason
for the multi was that there are
SO many Americans coming gin
and out of Rio for our govern
ment. that il was decided not 10
give any one there the impress
sion Brazil was invaded.
Do was not on the tour OF duty
~ Observation-Disclosures nobody
instructed taking along civilian
attire the situation was
handled by chap named AriSse
Rinaldo, with whom there once
was an argument about some
thing at the Rainbow Room.
There Is a dinner tonight ar
ranged by Nelson ROckefeiier's
cO-ordlnators," / said, land i
haven't any clOthesw
Don't worrY about IT." said
Arise, an Italian American,
who replaced a German at the
Copacabana-Palace Hotel. Rio,
when Brazil declared war.
"XeH- e#ee seeded #s At the
Rainbow Room, and now this Is
my chance Ia get even"
Arise QUILTED i'm his most
expensive white linen suit and
black tie, and II he could have
seen the result Lucius Beebe
would have swooned from sheer
envy Arise is the Copanas
head waiter.
Copyright by DAILY Mirror, Inc.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-01-28
Fugitives' Club
Joins Service

whose wife gave birth TO twins
could be the father of only one
of them?
Amen of science say it is
possible.
Not so long ago a man suing
for divorce made the claim he
was the father OF only one OF
his twin daughters.
Odd you find out what in
the worlds shortest street?
A--Not definitely. But I
think 1t is Brooks street, San
Francisco.
Q-You have named two OF
what you claim are the six
greatest limericks ever written.
What are the other four?
A-Space permits naming
only one more OF the six best at
this time.
1t is:
There Vas an old felIo0 named
Sidney,
Who drank till he ruined Q
kidney;
Tt shriveled and shrdnk
As he sat there and drank,
But he had good time, dtdrsyf
THE decline in the quality OF
II restaurant soup continues.
Oh, we'll. IL the soup was too
good it might spoil your appe-
tite for the rest of the meal.
Good soup is a meal in itself.
Andrew Summers Rowan, who
carried that message TO Garcia.
passed on In San Francisco re-
Gently.
There have been S0.000, 900
copies of Ebert Hubbard's
Message to Garcia" sold.
Hubbard made $3.50, 900 from
this short article during his life
time.
ITO think I am soon to be .
grandmother" writes a Boston
subscriber who seems to think
being a grandma puts her In the
old age class.
That is a silly way to look
at il.
The country is full OF young
and glamorous looking grand
mas.
Marlene Dietrich. whose
daughter, Maria, is 10 be mar
ried, probably will be a grand
mother, too, but she Is not
worrying about 1t.
Copyright, 1913, by King Features
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-01-28
BY Damon RunyOn

proposition than the equivalent
Of cash.
Naturally. 7 reject cynical
suggestions that the prizes be
sirloin steaks or pieces of butter.
T AM convinced that my orig
u inal thought that the lottery
should be used 10 raise funds
only for army and navy relief is
no longer feasible. because of the
probable size of the potential
pot.
The relief work does not need
that kind of dough. The govern
ment does.
If the lottery should prove
successful for the duration of
the war, however. l see no rea-
son why 10 should not be con-
tinued for a few years thereafter
for relief of all kinds, including
old-age pensions.
But these are details that
must be discussed later. The
main thing now is that the lot
terry seems a cinch.
/ am told that even some of
the financial minds in Washing
ton who have opposed the lot
terry have come TO view it as
essential.
am under the impression
that President Roosevelt has
never been friendly toward the
idea, but he, too, could change.
1t seerns TO be one OF the
few methods left for raising
money painlessly.
A FTER considering all the
"A various and somewhat in
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-01-28
The OnIooker
by Henry McLemOre

them 20 the very edge ~ the
line that separates sanity from
madness.
Tho sewing on ~ buttons e.
a woTnans job Some mon are
adept at IT, but they are as
scarce as Republicans in MisSis-
sippi. When man was created
he was not given Tho muscles
or The coordination that are re-
quired for sewing. There arc
few more pathetic sights than
that Of a man trying 10 thread
a needle, for instance.
No matter how good hts eyes
are with a gun. no matter how
perfectly he is able 10 time his
punches in a fight, the process
Of poking thread through =
needles eye reduces him 10
Sinking eussiRg helpless sham
bles.
LIE LlCKS The end 81 the
II thread. lie holds tho needle
10 the light He jBbs and
thrustS and finally gets a woman
10 do The threading II cheers
us UNNECESSARILY 10 know that
our army is in such streng
position that millions Of men
will be allowed 10 SIT on the
edges OF their cots and hunks
and try 10 thread millions Of
needles.
Tho threading Of the needle *
but start toward sewing on a
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-01-28
On the Side

FGreweu, 7 did not kpo,o thy
north;
But thou art gone, and noW
It's priced.
So angels Waiked unkRowh on
earth,
But 1chsn they fen '0ere
recognized.
Thomas Hood.
(T'he above brings 10 mind
that an investigation OF the mat
ter revealed that AZ per cent of
wives believe their husbands do
not sufficiently appreciate what
a wonderful mate they have.
SO, sir, we hope that il you
have married an angel you are
aware of the fact and are duly
thankful.--EVD.)
A NJ INFORMED that all men,
n bers of the Fugitives' Club
Of Manhattan are now in the
armed forces.
The original name Of this club.
which is a bachelors organiZa-
ton, was "Fugitives from the
Chain Gang"
Almost needless 10 say the
"chain gang these cynical fell
lows refer 10 Is matrimony.
The brilliant dramatic critic,
Percy Hammond. said the pest
performance he had seen in 40
years as playgoer was Henry
Hut as Jeeter Lester In Tobacco
Road"
Greatest performance ! have
seen was Jeanne Eagels in
Rain.
An exception to the rule OF
tall girls lodging marriage with
pint-sized men is Alnah Fulham
of London, England.
Alnah, who is 5 feet 9 inches
tall. just has married Pvt. Regi-
Maid Russell, the smallest man
in the British army.
Private Russell is feet IA
inches tall.
When the new Mrs. Russell
kissed her husband after the
ceremony she had to stoop down
10 do so.
nA1SY CON. magazin
~ editor. says her hobbies are
clothes, cats and astrology in
the order named.
Miss Bacon says that a dog
will lavish love on most any
body but that a cat is much
more particular and only be-
slows its affections on people
whose characters are good.
Arthur Schwartz, song writer.
He is responsible for the
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-01-28

WITH THE NAVAL MIS-
W SION TO BRAZIL, RIO
DE JANEIRO Delayed. THE
hop fran Recife (Pernambuco),
10 this attractive city OF over
100000 was uneventful.
You get up at 4 TO be at the
airport at 5 to shove of at 8.
Being in uniform doesn't get
you any special favors in Brazil.
You take your place in line
for luggage inspection.
YOU are searched thoroughly
by The police even il you
are a holy man or nun - and
then the customs and other offi-
Gals 60 over your passport from
cover 10 cover-and have you
fill in various papers, cards and
questionnalres.
You've filled them all In a
dozen times from the moment
you got them at the Miami
branch OF the state department
land the Brazilian consulate)
and you do il again, again and
again in all the other places you
pause at.
"What n lot Of bOther!" you
say. mo wonder the war takes
so long with all this hoOp-dee-
doc, ming I'm fhe same papers
every few h0urs!''
"Doa't blame us." explains an
official. "Your country started
this thing. They make All our
officers do it---and 40 we make
all you're 90 the same"
TIVE resi reason, OF course, Is
Il 10 trap spies, fugitives and
rogues from smuggling in money
stolen by the Axis powers in the
occupied countries.
That is why, too. you are
cautioned about taking Ameri-
can money out Of our country
which Is so much nothing in
| certain places.
Travellers checks are okay.
though, and you are not allowed
by law 10 bring back more than
$50 in Yankee. Doodle currency.
In Brazil the banks take your
500 traveller, check and give
you the equivalent Of $40
On ship, however. Uncle Sam
gives you S2065, and you sure
need il what with the fancy fees
hack drivers charge Americans
especially those in khaki
AS Admiral A. T. Beauregard
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-01-28

NOTHING since tho battle Of
~ Midway has so bolstered our
belief that America Is march
ing double-tlme down the road
10 victory than the war depart
ments recent announcement
that brass buttons and brass In
sigma on the overcOatS and
blouSes Of soldiers will give way
10 nodded plastcs.
The war departments bulle-
Tin concerning this decision eN-
planned that the change-over
would be accomplished by the
soldiers themselves; that armed
with needles and thread and
instructions from the Quarter
master Corps. the men would
cut off the brass buttons and
sew on the new plastic ones.
II is our happy contention
that no army that wasn't pretty
sure Of itself. did not feel that
il held the upper hand. would
dare 10 assign its millions of
fighters TO the task Of remov-
ing and sewing on tens OF mil
lions Of buttons.
IF OUR army were hard
Il pressed il would never issue
any such order as that II
would not give its men job
that is certain TO occupy them
for millions OF man-hourS. as
well as expose them 10 injury.
evaporation, and drive many OF
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-01-28
The Brighter Side

WE ARE going 10 have a ma
" tional lottery sure as
shootin'.
l think you will see legislation
10 this effect enacted by Con-
gress within the next few
months.
The need Of the treasury for
increased revenue makes the
thing inevitable.
OF course as one Of the lead
ing tub-thumpers for the lottery,
/ do not hear so many knocks
as boosts. but l honestly think
il would be a popular move Just
now.
As 10 it's money-getting posi-
bilities there can be no argu-
ment. 1t would undoubtedly
produce not less than 81 ,000,-
100000 a year to the treasury.
And, IL shaped In that dlrec-
ton. it could be made TO sell
more war bonds than any me-
dunn yet devised.
have received thousands Of
ideas as TO the form the lottery
should take. and l find that the
majority of those favoring the
general idea are thinking in
trims Of bonds as prizes rather
than cash.
think the best idea would
be to have each prize paid partly
in bonds and partly in cash.
Something about a cash bait
renders IL more inviting TO the
customer of a take-a-chance
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-01-28
What War Bonds Buy

OF course you want that
new bathroom. But not now,
for raw materials are going into
war equipment and tools for our
boys on the battle front. But
your investment i'm war bonds
To-day VIII bay that new bath
room when the war is won.
II YOU have not done so. Join
the payroll savings plan at your
Office or factory today. Put 10
per cent or more Of your earn
ings in war bonds and get back
81 for 50 from Uncle Sam.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-01-28
QUESTIONS. ANSWERS

w. J. B.:-Is there any benefit
In using sulphur and molasses as
a blood cleanser
What effect does 1t have on a
person?
Is there any harm in taking
too much?
Answer Sulphur and mo-
lasses, in spite Of tradition, has
no proved action on The blood.
There may be little iron in
molasses and some mineral
value in the sulphur, but that
could be easily obtained in
different way.
AS far as / know, there is no
harm IN taking too much.
j. P.-What is Cheplis's acid
ophilus bacillus liquid and what
is it mostly used for?
Answer-This is a culture
which is used TO put in milk TO
make il sour.
II Is used when the condition
OF the intestine is not Satisfac-
tory in some cases of diarrhea
and in some cases Of constipa-
ton.
II. Would an inward. toxic
goiter with metabolism rate of
80 cause a persons hair TO thin
and fall?
Answer This Is not n usual
symptom in goiter. II occurs in
the opposite cOndition-lack of
thyroid secretion.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-01-28

THILBLAIN (to give II its SCI
~ entific name. pernio) or, as
we call IL out West this winter,
Henderson's toe, is exclusively a
winter disease and also a result
OF low temperature combined
with wet, snowy weather.
Every one who has il can tell
you all about the discomfort of
II.
A part Of the foot. sometimes
the toe. sometimes the heel,
after exposure 10 cold. wet
weather. becomes red. painful.
throbbing and tender TO the
touch.
a person who gets II once is
likely 10 have II recur in the
winter time, year after year, UNI
less precautions are taken 10
keep the feet from being ex-
posed 10 wet, damp weather or
at least 10 prevent them from
being kept wet and damp with
out a change Of footwear after
exposure.
TT BELONGS 10 the great
group Of foot troubles which
have 10 do with the arteries and
Capillaries OF the foot.
The circulation in the foot Is
naturally the worst of any place
in the body because the blood
has 10 be brought back against
gravity from the ground TO the
height Of the heart
Any external condition. espe-
Cially cold. combined with con-
StriCtlon Of the leg above. tends
10 make circulation difficulties
in the foot worse.
Once adjusted 10 getting out
-of killer when exposed 10 damp
and cold, the blood vessels of
the foot become permanently
difficult 10 adjust. and this is
the cause of reCurrent chilblain
due 10 repeated exposure on sue
ceSSIve winters.
during World war an OK
~ tremely troublesome condi-
ton was called trench foot.
This was due 10 the soldiers
standing in a cold. wet trench
with puttees tightly wrapped
about their legs, thus impeding
the circulation.
During the present war we
have new condition somewhat
similar which has been de-
ScTlbed by the English as shell
ter leg
It occurs in people who sleep
in bomb shelters where the cir
Is cold and damp.
While asleep in-tAls- eeld
damp atmosphere and with the
circulation at low ebb. there
Is likely 10 appear this same
swelling, tenderness, pain and
disability.
TIIE treatment Of chilblain
and this other condition is
fundamentally the same as the
treatment Of circulatorv dis
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-01-28
Buttons Mean
Victory

button. Sewing on butte n
sounds simple. but mon who
have tried IL know that II ISM I.
For a man. there are but two
WAYS Of sewing on a button. The
first is To sew II so tight 10 the
material that u won't GO in the
button hole. The second is 10
sew II so loosely that il bangles
on an inch or more Of thread
and. when placed in the button
hole. hangs its head Ike a
stricken goose.
Most men sew buttons on too
tight. The standard procedure
after sewing one on too tight is
10 grab the button and pull il in
an effort 10 stretch the thread.
UNFORTUNATELY thread *
I not made Of rubber or
laStex.
The result OF this pulling is
always the same. Either you
yank the button from its moor
ingS and have 20 start all over
again, or get the front Of the
this unfair tug Of war that the
shirt has 10 be sent 10 the laun-
dry before ii can be worn.
Too. few men can sew on
button without drawing blood
their own blood a goodly share
OF tho stitches are taken in the
thumb. and the thumb always
manages 70 sec 10 II that the
blood drops on the shirt front.
We have seen men whose shirts,
after they had put buttons on il.
looked more like n bandagc than
n standard bit Of wearing APP
pareL
Mr.. Elmer Davis should see 10
II that news Of our sol ierS
c h auging their own buttons
reaches Berlin and Toxic and
Rome II would drive fear into
the hearts OF our enemies. Let
them know that they are up
against men so tough that they
can thread n needle and do their
own sewing. and they will think
twice before engaging them on
the field OF battle.
Distributed by MoNsught Syndicate, Ine,
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-01-28

put il. when In ROme--shoot
Roman candles"
TIIE popular admiral heads the
Il naval mission at Rio and is
respectfully referred TO by every
one down there.
lie has served many South
American nations and the United
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-01-28

TELEPHoNE-CHER $500
Subscription rate On advance by mail
10 any place IN the United states, Canada
Or Mexico. con Canadian subscriptions add
l0qs to cover war import tax.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-01-28

All money sent at sender's risk. DO not
send cash or stamps. All checks, drafts
and money orders should be made payable
10 THE TINES PUBLISHING COMPANY.
/ International News Service has the exciu-
form All news dispatches credited 10 II or
mot otherWiss credited Ia this paper.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-01-28
DEfRGEaSsyTNES

Published every Week nay Evening and
Sunday Morning by The Times Publishing
Company at 1928 Times Square. Detroit.
Michigan
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-01-28
Better Il cath f r@eaaeG
BY Dr. Logan CIendenin9

turbances OF the foot OF any
kind
In the first place, every effort
should be made in the way of
prevention. especially of recur-
rent attacks.
People who have chilblain
should absolutely refuse 10 go
out on cold and snowy days:
they should refuse just as much
as if they had pneumonia.
III necessity compels them 10
go out and the feet get cold
and damp, they should remove
the shoes and stockings imme-
diately, warm and dry the feet
and p'it-on fresh, dry. wooden
stockings and dry slippers.
TEiE susceptible person who
~ has TO go TO an office can
keep dry wooden socks and slip
pers there, change when ne goes
downtown and change back
again when he gets home.
Any undue restrictions around
the leg should be dispensed with.
If the condition is already es-
tsblished, the use of foot blood
vessel exercises alternately
raising the feet and lowering
them, sitting on the edge of the
bed and spreading out the toes,
moving the feet up and down and
keeping them elevated during the
night are all designed TO i'm
prove circulation.
Massage, which will make the
vessels more resilient. will tend
TO prevent occurrences.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-01-28
On Broadway
BY Waller WincheII

Trade Mark Registered. Copyright, is''.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-01-28

Entered at Detroit, Mich, as Second class
Mail Matter.
The Waterbury Democrat., 1943-06-18

States, Lodge said
Agreements on these practical
matters will make agreement easier
on the great political problems. 1t
is a fruitful approach which will
unite the people
Lodge advocated that the follow
ing be the objects of international
agreements:
Vital natural resources which we
either lack or of which our supply
is growing scarce; equality with
other nations in international ra-
dio, telegraph and telephone fields;
AN opportunity for free COMPETE
ton in international aviation; "a
real chance for our new merchant
marine, equitable arrangements in
the field of international exchange;
and naval, military and air bases
to safeguard the approaches to the
United States.