Evening star., 1943-10-30


Pvt. McLemore. not public, Sc
cluded.
If Noah had served in the Army
as private, even for as short a
time as Is minutes, he never would
have come up with such definition
| of the word private as that. Pri-
Yates in the Army should really be
called publics. The proverbial gold
fish lives the life of hermit COM
pared to us. We are on display in
one form or another most of the
| time, and when peace comes plan
to turn bear for year or two in
order to enjoy the Information
period. What pleasure it would be
to be accepted by community Of
earnest, sympa thetic bears and
when winter comes along, retreat TO
dark cave, hang out a DO Not
Disturb sign, and stay there for
long spell.
1t is beyond me why officers and
4 non-coms are so interested In the
private life of private soldier. You
would think that with some 5000 900
OF us scattered all over the world,
/ that those who have us in charge
would become bored with us, want
TO keep us out of sight and out Of
mind as much as possible. But no,
there must be something eternally
fascinating about us We must have
an indefinable lure-like Mona Lisa's
smile, say-because when our keep
ers can spare moment they devote
it to us.
Feels Like Zoo Animal.
This is fattering in way, sup
pose, but sometimes We feel that
If we are scrutinized much more We
will begin to take on the manner
isms of animals in a ZOO and start
pacing back and forth like tigers,
or rocking on our legs like elephants,
or swinging gayly through the air
after the manner of monkeys.
Let us examine the life of a prt-
vate and see how private it is He
lives in hhutment with l9 other
prlvates. That's where Noah Web
ster got the alone" and secluded"
angle, I suppose After all, it IS
more secluded than if there were so
to hutment.
He sleeps in either the lower or
upper half of a double bunk. These
/ double-deck Army hunks are worth
a word or two of description. No
one ever has definitely decided
which is the better for sleeping
the upper or the lower. If YOU sleep
in the upper, YOU spend great deal
Of time swaying, because with each
movement of the man in the lower
bunk the high altitude perch rolls
like a destroyer. Too, no matter
how sleepy man is when he starts
ascending to an upper bunk. by the
time he does the aerial maneuvers
necessary to reach his mattress, he
is as wide awake as a steeplejack.
Lower Bunk No Better.
If you sleep in the lower bunk
II have tried both, so I am not
giving YOU any secondhand infor-
lnation) there is no use getting to
sleep before the man in the upper
bunk turns in. The unWritten pro-
cedure for getting in an upper re-
quUes that the occupant start his
climb by placing his right foot on
the neck of his bunkmate in mill
tary manner and using the spring
in the neck muscles to provide him
his first upward boost. My neck
has been stepped on so often that
1t now looks like the entrance to
Grauman's Chinese Theater in
Hollywood where the movie stars
preserve their footprints for pos
terity.
Another attractive feature of hav-
ing lower berth is that the springs
OF the upper berth are directly over
your head. Army bunk springs
broadcast on all freouencies. all
night. The slightest movement will
cause them to % groan like a dis
treSsed water buffalo, or ~ scream
like a demon with his cars caught
III wringing machine. or ~ whine
and rattle as if they had bsen suf-
fering from bronchitis for Is wears,
or a. Screech like Tilted owl
Further bits Of the privacy" of
private: He stands formation with
hundreds of other recluses three
times a day. He marches with
these same hundreds to chow. He
shoves and battles with them for a
seat in the company day room, the
recreation halls, and for mirrors in
the shaving salon
No, no. Noah Webster. You don't
know the meaning of the word
private"
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