The Wilmington morning star. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1909-1990, 1943-09-13
BY WESTBROOK PEGLER

So we take over the British offshore posses
sions such as Trinidad Bermuda, the BAHIA
mas and British Guiana az our own territory
because we have spent our money to fortify
them and because, anyway, we think it isn't
a good idea to continue TO permit European
nations to maintain outposts along our beach
That is logical development of the Monroe
Doctrine and while we are about it we might
pick up the little ODDS and ends belonging
to France and Holland
Yes indeed, very just and logical and, after
all, we did chase Spain out of here and we
bought the Virgin Islands from Denmark
complete with stock. fixtures and people.
And then what!
Vel, then, Of course, the inhabitants of
these colonial bits became American citizens
with the right to vote in our national elections
and participate in the benefits Of our govern
ment, including political pork and relief. Their
living standards, except in Bermuda, have
never been up to ours and Of course would
Immediately go about correcting that by APP
pointing a slew of Rex Tugwells to elevate
them and teach them that the people of the
United States are breed of bleeding hearts
pledged to free them from want even though
we have to sacrifice pretty deep slice off
the top of our own living standard to do it:
Yes and being American citizens, they
won't need passports to come to or mainland
and settle in the cities and people would
be very happy to buy up and tear down great
eXpanses of tenements and replace them with
model apartments because, after all, conges-
ton and uncleanliness cause unrest. And in
the islands, themselves, we would feel obliged
to eradicate the shacks and novels and build
nice little bungalows and community centers
and swimming pools, libraries, schools and
Fairgrounds and post offices and city halls
and motor roads and all the other standard
minimum necessities of the more abundant life
listed in the regular new neal catalog.
Why this gets more and more interesting,
doesn't it?
And what about the wage standards of all
these people?
I suppose we would have to do something
about that too, and this would be fine OPP
portunity for our Department OF Labor and
the Labor Relations Board and our unions.
We would toss the exploiters out and organize
the barefoot peoples into banana plckers To-
Gals of the ALL and Go and ship down some
of our more efficient murderers and Commun
lists and if the price of the island products
should get out of range with plantation labor
drawing six bucks day we would just cut
back the price to the pubic with a SUBSIDY
out of the United States Treasury, Inc CON-
munists would have fine time printing books
about our downtrodden ne" hlllloih lrated
with graphic photos of horrible examples and
teaching them the tricks of revolutionary agi-
tation and with party-lne federal appontees
in all the key offices the kids would get
good dose of it from their teachers IN the
public schools and, in seven or elght years,
ripen into fine, patriotic, honest lot OF I'm
ion Square Americans. ill.,,
You couldn't very well organize them into
senarate republics because the smart lndlvld-
nails would boost themselves INTO once and
hold massacres according to the paln1ul pre-
cedents of Haiti and then II we lnlerlereo we
would be messing up the Atlanuc Charter and
if we didn't we would be lnhumane. ana we
couldn't take title and restrict their cltzenshlp
to their own islands because that would be
the smart way and you will not eaten US dong
ANYTHING smart in such matters IL there is
dumb and painful alternative
The British, now, and the french ana Dutch
have never bothered themselves 100 much
about the condition of their island peoples,
INT we are different We would see that they
oct shoes even if they wore them around their
necls and we would wire their premises for
curling irons, radios, refrlgera1ors and egg
heaters. all at the primary expense of the
American people but to our eventual profit
~ i1,ner satisfa elton and world repute.
III 70 u1e should throw in with Winston Chur-
chi1rs idea of mutual association for military