Evening star., 1943-08-31

leaders. I made 1t plan that I didn't
care to have say as to whether or
not Greenland should be given
Czechoslovakia, Latvia turned into 4
victory garden, the Isle OF Jersey
given back to the cows, or the speed
limit on the Burma road limited to
IS miles per hour for trucks and
55 for passenger cars.
I came out for getting rid Of such
things as dining by candlelieht.
small ashtrays, and people who but
tonhole you and say, 'Betcha don't
know who am" Since then I have
thought Of some more nuisances
which could be done away with in
the brave new world we are all being
told will be ours before long.
1t should be put In the Constitu-
tion right now that no man who ia
an Indian wrestler and who learned
Spanish after his 45th birthday can
hold the Office Of Vice President of
the United States.
"In the Right Groove?"
1t isn't fair to the voters and tax
payers to have to read every dav
about how Mr.. Henry Wallace has
just thrown another victim to the
hoor with that iron grip OF his
which he got from husking corn. I
know he got 1t from huskins corn
because I have read the stirring de-
tails OF how his wrists were de.
veloped, at least ten thousand times.
What bothers me Is whether or
not Mr.. Wallace is in the right
groove. Should he be wasting his
time around Washington doing
whatever Vice Presidents do, when
he obviously has such talent as an
Indian wrestler?
I have a feeling he should be out
on reservation wrestling Indians.
We must have hundreds of men
capable Of holding down the lob of
Vice President, but how many really
good Indian wrestlers have we In
this country?
AS for Mr.. wallace,s ability Ia
speak Spanish-well, to me it's Just
downright embarrassing. You'd
think he was the only man In the
world who had ever mastered the
Spanish language. What kind OF a
country Is this when We come close
to making a national holiday of the
day that our Vice President gradu-
ated from a Spanish class?
Other Peeves Listed.
Heaven help us If Mr.. Wallacs
goes hog wild and learns another
language. Businesses will declare
half holidays, there will be dancing
IN the streets, bonfires and. I sup
pose, lot Of exhibitions of Indian
wrestling.
Wouldn't 1t be better, too, II any
man who had been married more
than year was forbidden to intro
duce his wife saying, 'I want YOU
to meet my bride" In my time
nave met some of the oldest brides
you can Imagine. I have had men
introduce their brides" to me when
they had been married so long their
grandchildren were wearing out
rockers on the porches of the old
soldiers homes.
think the world could get along
nicely, too, without those Insurance.
advertisements which tell a man
tnat even If he doesn't start saving
until he is As he still can take mama
on a round-the-world cruise if he
is just thrifty enough to start put
Ting away couple of bucks a week
With the Titmouse Mutual. You've
seen those ads. An elderly coupls
leaning against the rail of a LUXURY
liner obviously about to start on =
luxury cruise. all thanks to Tit
mouse Mutual. I have travelled
enough on boats to wonder contin-
ually how they manage it. NV e,,es,
is that they go steerage with a boy
lunch. Either that, or while papa
is upstairs helling around mama /.
downstairs taking in washing.
I've had insurance since I wa,
knee-hlgh to a grasshopper, and I
oont think I could cross the Hud-
son nrst-class without passing the
Iamoourine as we left the dock.
distributed by McNauebt synd,c.t.