The Ely miner., 1943-05-13
BY KATHLEEN NORRIS
n EARRIAGE is an insti-
INH tuition" some woman
Bell syndicate-wNU Features.

"a
M tution," some woman
said in a play long ago,
'and I hate to live in an insti-
tuition"
She might just as well have
said that life itself is an institu-
ton, and that we all, married or
single, hate the bondage and the
limitations that life imposes
on US.
To be sure, to the unhappily
married man or woman the
unmarried ones seem more
free. They can get away from
the hateful little apartment
with its whining and its untidiness,
its bills and its discomforts general
ly. They can at least go to hotels,
where a maid is paid to keep the
bathroom in order and where cool
coffee can be sent back to the
kitchen.
That's the theory. But it is mis-
erably faulty theory, and a rniser-
ably unsatisfactory solution of the
living problem. In marriage, and in
marriage alone, is there true happi-
ness for young persons, and it is
only because they don't know how to
stay married that all the failures
arise. It is a tragic truth that al
most all the men and women who
obtain divorces would cancel those
divorces and try over again with the
same mate, if they could, and that
a second and third and fourth mar
riage only produce variations of the
first fiasco, and infinitely and fatally
complicate the lives they touch
children's lives, old persons lives.
SOciety's Unwritten Law.
When man, like the comparative
ly young man who recently made
an eighth marriage, tells the atten-
tive press that he is sure that he has
found the ideal wife at last, there
is no law to stop his matrimonial
career. But there is surely an I'M
written law that covers such case,
and to belittle the sacred relation
ship of marriage with such f1ippancy
ought to put him outside the pale of
friendship with decent folk forever.
Most engagements are built on
sexual attraction, and in the early
years of most marriages it plays an
important part. This is truism so
fiat that it is superfuous to put it
into words. Yet very few women,
and no men, grasp the truth of that
simple statement. The part of it
they understand entirely omits the
words Gin the early years"
Every bride feels that the glory
of young wifehood is so exquisite,
the thrill that true marriage brings
to her husband and herself is so
Overwhelming, the ecstasy of their
first months together so perfect, that
nothing can ever change.
"I haven't changed" wrote four
years wife to me pathetically. 81
love him just as much as l ever did,
or more. But he likes an occasional
evening away from home now, he
likes me to ask pretty girls to the
house and flatters them"
Nature has so arranged things that
bv the time that the first wild CLAM
our of possession has worn off, for
the man, the woman shall be alb
sorbed in even more vital joys, the
supreme joys of motherhood. But
today's men and women very often
put off those joys altogether, or at
least delay them fatally, thereby
completely defeating their purpose.
Intense Love Soon Burns Out.
The purpose, mean, of being able
to revel uninterruptedly in the mari
tai relationship. There is no quicker
way to destroy it. The rule is the
same as that of other appetites. Con-
troIled, made only part of happy
life together, indulged reasonably,
physical love between a man and
woman can last lifetime. But it
can also be burnt out in a few
months time, and that is what hap