Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1943-01-06

''" here. They try
Henry McLemors. a new plastic
there, and before you know it they
come up with something that adds
to the sum of human comfort.
It's working out that way now.
Already the advertisements are
limiting at the marvellous things
to-be when this war is over. The
advertisements explain that they
can't be exploited now, because Of
the war effort, but that just as soon
as peace comes we will be able to
look around buildings, NOW the
lawn by pulling switch, and take
fleas off the dog by remote control.
In this column I would like to
suggest to the scientists few things
to look for, as they develop 8-ton
bombs. airplanes that fly sideways,
and pills which contain the same
food value as porterhouse steak,
an order Of hashed-brown potatoes
and slice of chocolate pie. You
know, If they keep on improving
concentrated foods, they'll even
tually wind up with pill that not
only gives you the same nourish-
ment as dinner at a restaurant, but
which will check your hat and tip
the hat-check girl.
Why Not Warm Sheets?
Scientists, what about hitting
upon some little device that will heat
those sheets in winter time? Thou
sands of people for thousands Of
years have dreaded going to bed and
trying to stretch out on cold sheets.
The common escape from the cold
touch of the linen is to curl up, but
that doesn't work. Not for long,
anyhow. Sooner or later you must
stretch out, and isn't that terrible
| feeling
While you're about it, you can
heat the floor, too. That is one
part Of a house that should be
heated. From Cain on down, men
have plopped out of bed and had
their toes curl up like anchovies on
touching cold floor.
And what about the businessmen
who call you by telephone when
you're busy well, as busy as they
are, anyhow, and have a secretary
say:
Mr., So-and-so Just a minute,
please. Mr.. This-and- would
like to talk to YOU
Wanted-Plastic Hammer.
Then Mr.. This-and-that takes IS
minutes to get to the phone. There
must be some sort of a plastic ham,
mer that can fall from the ceiling
and strike both secretary and bust
nessman back of the mastoids and
stun them permanently. It's a good
thing you can't shoot people over the
telephone. else I would have more
notches on my gun than Billy the
Kid.
And. what about these inven-
lions.
Something that will enable YOU to
put on a wet bathing suit without
getting those all-over chills with
galloping gooseflesh. No matter how
warm the day. wet bathing suit
has a temperature of 10 below.
Toast that won't burn.
A bow tie that will tie. and
don't mean those ready-tied things
that make you look as If you had
just jumped out of a gift box or
we're ready to start a long cross
country bus ride.
Radio Personality.
A radio personality who talks
over the air as he does at home.
There is no rule against talking
naturally, but no one does it. Kali
tenborn clips and signs. Swing is so
natural he isn't. Elmer Davis Is the
same. Lowell Thomas gives the i'm
preston that he is broadcasting from
the back of Lawrence of Arabia,
which would be all right II his
listeners didn't know that he wasn't
doing anything of the sort.
Even President Roosevelt isn't
natural. have never talked to the
President-as matter of fact. I
have never talked to any Presi-
dent-but Mr.. Roosevelt never would
have been elected had he talked in
conversation as he does over the
air. II he had given those ward,
county and State leaders that beau
tiful cross between Groton and AL
bany, he would still be the Assistant
Secretary of the Navy.
At tomorrow's matinee we will
have "Charleys Aunt"
distributed by McNauuht ovna;.... xx