Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1943-01-11

. .
aren't much better OF. and when
they leave their homes in the morn
ing no sensible Handicapped would
offer more than even money on
their chances Of returning home
with any interim need Of q comb.
The two paragraphs above are
nothing more than an introduction
to discussion Of wigs and toupees.
Why don't men wear them? Ger
tainly it can't be because a glisten-
ing pate is supposed to add to q
mans attractiveness. You can
search literature with q fine tooth
comb without finding any mention
of how a gal was enamored of .
man because the sunlight shone
brilliantly on his scalp or because
the moonbeans glimmered softly on
his polished skull. No one ever
heard of heroine Of a novel sigh
ing Economically as she ran her
fingers through nothing.
Hair might not be mans browning
glory, but it doesn't hurt his appear
ance bit. But when 1t goes 1900
600 men out Of 100000 do nothing
about replacing it. They just say
hail and farewell and accept the
situation.
r
This is undoubtedly because q wig
or toupee for some reason is con-
sidered completely ridiculous. Either
is always good for a joke and peo-
pie 60 around nudging one another
and saying, Look, that man has
on wig"
Why is this? When q mans eye
sight goes bad he gets glasses. When
his ears begin wearing out he goes
in the market for hearing device.
If he loses tooth he has 1t replaced
with false one. No one goes into
screaming Mysteries over any OF
these artificialities. But let a man
try to improve his appearance with
hair that he had to pay money for
and he becomes almost a buffoon.
AS a matter of fact, wig isn't
half as funny as some of the tricks
resorted to by men who are losing
their hair. Men with about eight
long hairs left on one side of their
heads swoop them over the bald
spot and plaster them down. It's
just about the poorest bit Of camou-
f1age that you can imagine.
Some men with little hair on
the back of their heads brush 1t
forward. Some with a little tuft
left in front comb 1t straight up,
hoping that no one will look over
the little tuft and see the bald area
in back.
I, for one, am not going to be
foolish about the wig situation. My
hair is not going to be with me for
many more years. My forehead Is
getting higher and higher, and 1t
is not improving my appearance
one bit. I have mentally marked q
timberline on my head and when
my hair retreats to that point am
going in for reforestation.
I am going to get my moneys
worth, too. None of those little
Hollywood toupees or hairpieces for
me. want something straight from
the Fiji Islands-pounds and pounds
Of hair. I never had a curl on my
head. I have always had straight,
red hair, but when order my wig,
I am going to order curly black
number that starts Just above my
eyebrows and runs clear back to my
coat collar. If the Fiji Islands aren't
shipping wigs at that time, III
settle for three or four well-cut
cocker spaniel ears.
Naturally, I don't expect to fool
any one with this wig. I intend to be
perfectly casual about 1t. If It's q
hot night, I'll check it with my hat.
If anyone wants to try it on, I'll
snap 1t of and let him see how it
fits him. Sometimes I'll wear 1t
rakishly over one eye, sometimes
sedately straight on my head.
Rest assured, I'm not going around
with bald head as long as have
wig money In my pocket. And, If
I am down on my luck when my
hair reaches the timberline and
can't afford wig, I'll Just paint
hair on the top of my head.
Distributed By McNausht Syndicate. Ine.)