Evening star., 1943-01-04
Rude to Offer
Unasked>for
Criticism
Address People
BY the Titles
They Desire
By Emily Post

ing to your standards has cOmmlCteo
an error. This comment is made
to a reader who asks: What Is one
supposed to do when ones friends
commit serious errors of good taste?
For example, I have always under
stood that, according to best taste.
a widow should continue to-. call
herself Mrs. John Doe and not
change to Mrs. Mary Doe. I have
been told that the title Mrs. should
not precede woman's given name.
Several friends Of mine insist on
calling themselves Mrs. Mary Doe,
Mrs. Alice Roe, etc. Am I wrong
In showing them what is right by
addressing notes to them as Mrs.
John Doe and Mrs. James Roe? Or
Is 1t their right to- call themselves
what they please?"
My answer is yes to both ques-
tions. To refuse to call them what
they prefer Is really very rude when
you know what they have chosen.
On the other hand, If you are writ
ing to some one whom you know
merely as the widow OF Henry Jones
you should address her letter Mrs.
Henry Jones" until you hear that
she prefers to be known as Mrs.
Margaret-or even Mrs. Maggie. 4"
Dear Mrs. Post: Who is supposed
to sit In the seats up front at a
wedding, which have been marked
OIL? And how is all this arranged? d?
CD They say a ribbon is stretched
across like the top rail Of a fence
How is this fastened?
Answer: The immediate family OF
the bride sit in the first few pews
on the left-hand side of the aisle
(as you face the chanceD. The
family Of the bridegroom occupy
the same number of pews on the
right. The few most intimate
friends OF each family are seated
IN two or three pews Immediately
back OF the family whose particular
1r1ends they are. The occupants
OF these reserved seats seldom ar
rive until after those in the unre-
served pews are seated and a ribbon
is therefore stretched across the
aisle fencing off these pews during
most, II not all of the time the
other pew occupants are being seat
ed. Aisle seats are given to those
VINO come first and who sit any,
where they please back of the rib
bon. CD The ribbon is held in place
ny lead weight that is fastened
at each end of the ribbon, so when
u Is allowed to fall over the end
o! tne Two pews on opposite sides
OF the aisle the weights reaching
JUST to each seat cushion holds the
ilooon taut. To pass it-or remove
1Ean usher merely lifts one end
ana lets the ribbon fall out of tho
way When he returns after seat
nis the guests he picks the ribbon
up and drops the loose end hocL
nto place. Before the mothers ~
the pride and bridegroom are seated
tne ribbon Is removed permanentlv
Dear Mrs. Post: The other eve.
n1ne we took presents to the birth.
oay party OF a friend, given by an
other friend. The guest of honor
accepted them graciously but never
opened anything all evening lono
we've received thank-you notes
since from her. Isn't a present
handed by friend in person sun.
posed to be opened on the spot?
! AnSWer-At ShoWer-ves hut mt
at other parties. The reason for this
dit1erence is that present-givinq is
the most important part of a shower
ana no one goes to one without tax
ing a present. At an anniversary
or birthday party people are not ex-
pected to bring presents and only
a certain few do. Therefore, OPEN
ing the presents from these few
would embarrass the many who have
brought none.
Dear Mrs. Post: Does a housecoat
have to be worn exclusively at
home? And at home Is it suitable
to wear anytime2
Answer: It all depends upon the
kind Of housecoat! Some are
work" dresses and some are com
pany" dresses. The former are
naturally not worn outside of ones
own home and the other might
very properly be! AL depending,
as have said, upon what the par
ticular coat looks like.
Dear Mrs. Post: Is 1t improper to
send formal announcements of a
marriage when the family is In
mourning for my mother, who
passed away Just recently? Ny
fiance Is coming home on leave and
We are being married In the pres
ence Of our immediate families, no
others, and no reception of course.
Answer: It is always correct to
send out announcements, even by Q
family In deepest mourning.