The Western news. [volume] (Libby, Mont.) 1933-current, 1943-03-25
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.4bou Nc,o York:
Wall Street begins with a grave
yard, ends in a river and once was
a sheep pasture Make your own
wisecrack One of the best food
spots is the Telephone Company's
cafeteria on West Street. For the
convenience of phone workers, but
common folks like the rest of us are
admitted For Whit of Brit
ish atmosphere take walk along
Thames Street. 1t is where we olde
chop houses and taverns are locat-
ed, as well as architecture patterned
after London's side streets. (1nd
don't forget to bring your monocle,
Mr.. JesseD The green door
at the top of the left-hand stairway
on the mezzanine in Madison Square
Garden leads to the most exclusive
club in town-for the Gardens own
ers, stockholders and friends
II also has library, taproom and
cocktail lounge The large
pew in St. Paul's Church on lower
Broadway has the coat OF arms of
the U. S.. because it once was occu-
pied by General Washington and his
family. But you may sit in it.
Our town doesn't produce one
thing to feed, clothe or warm us.
Everything we use is shipped in +.
You can get the best view of the
majestic steel poetry of the G. Wash
ington Bridge from the Cloisters at
Fort Tryon along the Drive. Leaves
you breathless. (You must see it,
Cong. Hoffman, Pitman's,
pub on South Street, contains all the
lusty flavor that you see in Western
movies A New Yorker need not
travel far to find natural wonders.
He may enjoy them by simply walk
ing along the Hudson-more beau
tiful. we are told, than the Rhine
or Danube The clientele at the
Hotel Taft is SO cosmopolitan, many
of the maids and clerks there are
required to speak several languages
!. The false walls to be found in
Chinatown cellars we're erected to
mark dividing lines between differ
emf Tongs.
For some unknown reason, Worn-
en- are admitted to the mems bar at
the Plaza only after the Stock Elk
change closes Those caves in
Central Park were once homes of
Indians Some of the most valu-
able property in town is in Harlem.
where poverty is king j. P.
Morgan buys his coffee ON Maiden
Lane, with his ration card, of course
He prefers the green bean and
roasts 1t himself The BoWery
Jewel Market (near Canal and Hes
teri resells gems containing loving
inscriptions. Mementoes of dead ro-
mances The Siamese Consul
late has the softest snap. Never has
to take care Of more than half
dozen Siamese nationals The
Hapsburg Restaurant on 55th Street,
until recently, featured a hat-chcck
girl who gave you dime with your
hat It's an interesting city, Our
Town Which out-of-toWners al
lege is nice place to visit, but
not to live in 1. But more people
live in New York City than any
where in the world.
II happened during the recent FBI
raid on Tough Touhy and Basil
Banghart in Chicago John Ed
gar Hoover, leading the raid in the
pitch black night, gun in hand, acct
dentally stepped on sleeping cat
The G-Man's surprise-you can
well imagine-was as startling as
the pussy's!
But what we started out to report
was comment Of Banghart, who
said. MIR. Hoover, please send me
to Alcatraz. | hate where I Was!"
Mr.. Hoover asked: What's
wrong with it? II has a nice, big,
stone wall, to keep out the riff-raffi"
To which Banghart whined:
II don't like it there Too many
thieves. They are the worst card
| cheats Of ALL"
You've probably read it before.
| That's how we got it. But it belongs
here, we think. It's too good for the
opposition, anyhow.
It's the one about the cook on a
destroyer, who was 100000 seasick.
The Captain, on the bridge, was
cold and hungry. He sent a Lit. be-
low to bring back couple of ham
and-egg sandwiches The Of
ficer found the cook PROSTATE across
table A couple of ham and
egg sandwiches for the Captain,
prontoI" he parked.
"Ohhhhhl" groaned the agonized
cook. I'm 100000 sick. Just
couldn't look at food. Please &c
awaaaaaaaaynN