Evening star., 1943-07-23

nehrs "cAemore. Wnat l weighed
now. Without thinking, completely
unconscious Of how 1t sounded, I
answered, "Oh, a little better than
IA stone" He shudered all over.5 He
staggered back against a building.
He turned purple.
Then, with a cry of What did
you say?" he charged at me. He
grabbed me and started sputtering.
ITO think" he yelled, that I would
ever see the day when Georgia
cracker like you started figuring his
weight in stone. I ought to push
you under bus before you get back
to Georgia. It's an easier death
than being tarred and feathered."
Recalled Column.
When he had regained his calm,
my friend reminded me that he re-
membered quite clearly that I had
written a column from London urg-
ing American soldiers coming to
England to retain their own Amer
lean expressions and not to pick up
any English ones. 1t seemed that I
haven't been able to practice what
I preached. e
Later in the day my wife and
were waiting for a hotel elevator.
We rang and rang and it didn't
appear. Being in a hurry, was
annoyed and turned to her and
said, Il take dismal view of this
lift" She became slightly hys-
terical.
When she was able to speak, CO.
herently, she gave me a look that
froze me like Birdseye vegetable
and said, Gould you possibly mean,
Sir Henry, that you don't think
much of the elevator service in this
hotel? From now on you are going
TO give so cents every time you 60
Mayfair on me, country boy" BY
the end of the day she had collected
$3.50 from me.
She got her so cents when she
overheard me as I was putting in
a long distance phone call. Again,
unconSciously swear, I lapsed into
another British expression. When
the local operator answered, I said,
Give me trunks, please" And from
the next room came the triumphant
cry, -Four bits, Lord McLemore.
And If you think you are ever going
to get long-distance by sitting there
asking about trunks, you're crazy"
I went for another so cents on
the same call when I told the long
distance operator, will you call
me back when I am through"
What I meant was, I wanted the
operator to call me back when the
call was completed. I'm telling you
the operator almost asked me for
so cents on that one.
Almost Wore Out Purse.
And so it went throughout the
day. I almost wore out my little
coin purse taking it in and out
Of my pocket. Describing q town
I had visited in England as "a
wizard spot" cost me dough. When,
IN describing how far in London
I lived from certain point I said
"Oh, about half-crown ride" I
had to fork over the equivalent of
a half crown in American money.
Every reference to my flat" in
London cost me money and when,
In telling where it was, I said I
lived "in" such and such a street,
I got an extended palm and a sug-
gestion that I had better start
living "on" streets once more,
At the end of the day, my wife
sat me down and delivered me q
lecture, part of which I will give
you. Listen, old chap, I'm in .
perfect flap. In tact, I'm hvid
with rage with the way you are
talking. See, OIL boy, II you can't
get back to being an American by
next Chewsday. Egad, crumpets
and scones! I take a dismal view
OF all the dismal views that you have
taken today"
"Thatll be money for Jam,
honey" I said. I'm fact, thatII bs
fruit OIL the sideboard."
Those two expressions aroused her
curiosity so much I got back a
dollar Of my money for explaining
them to her. ".
lDistributed By McNaught Syndicate, Incl
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