davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-02-08
One Word Led 10 Another
25-Yeor-OId Gags
Rank at Top in 1919
BY ARTHUR BUGS" BAER

1t seems strange that should letter just
% years old from Washington 1t is from the great monoog
Dockstader and you idea of what they laughed
about in another
Dear Bugs: to trouble to get you than
New York has to get coal.
Before into the army would like to get matters
in dollars and cents for the material good
and will
"The egg gag is waopus. and tell this way; Egg
the vest used to be carelessness Now it's boasng
Another fellow tried to collect that but clip
pings show ii is yours, and so II is.
Hog Island goes great But don't be worrying about
changing the stuff, have to feel 1t out Hog
Island Is a body of land entirely surrounded by graft
Then i add after the lOOOOOOO Why, that's almost
much Washington lady gets for hall bedroom It's
a barrage laugh.
Now Bugs throw sand the track and send the stuff
That Bryan thing
another walopus Don't publish that in the Evening World
a. intend to make 1t the finish of my act
al. L. DOCKSTADER."
Almost many comics claimed the egg-on-the-vest
did the haunted house line.
Every of those gags is still walopus today. I've
heard of them in the last few weeks stage
and radio
Copyright 1914. Features
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-02-08

Hemingway, but I would say
Theodore Dresser.
Gas for famous Galatians
you forgot "Mushy" Callahan,
the boxer.
Al have forgotten
Musings" real name, but if 1t
is Callahan l am stuck for a
stogie.
My belief is that Callahan was
just his ring name.
Q--Do men get along without
women better than women get
along without men?
Amen get along better
without one woman than women
do without one man.
That is to say, man can be
happier as a bachelor than a
woman can as spinster.
However, women in general
are not so dependent on male
companionship as men are on
female companionship.
Is IT legal for women to wear
L Stacks in your town?
Could your wife be arrested
for appearing in public in her
new slack suit?
Don't be too certain she
couldn't.
1t was recently discovered in
Chicago that there was an or
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-02-08
Tregaskis Tale
Best of Year

United States on another
bomber, and Ward Greene. one
of the editors of King Features
Syndicate, read it the morning
il arrived and sent it to Ben
nett Cert of Random House.
book publishers, who accepted
it two days later.
On a Friday, the Book-of-the-
Month Club judges, the most
important literary jury in the
United States. held a meeting.
and Kisr Features and Random
House rut the manuscript in
their hands just before the
session.
The judges set a precedent by
postponing their decision until
the following Monday and then
they sele cted "Guadalcanal
Diary" as one of their choices
for February.
THIS probably hung up a
Il world record for speed in
writing and marketing 4 best
seller. which the Diary cannot
help being.
Meanwhile, Tregaskis has bus
tied back to Guadalcanal from
Honolulu and was busy lodging
Japanese bullets when King
Features radioed him of his
good fortune.
The book was on the press
and was being acclaimed far and
wide long before the tall, thin
Tregaskis became aware that
from being a mere correspond
ent he had suddenly advanced
to distinction as a famous au-
thor, and on sheer merit no
writer living today is more de-
serving.
Copyright, 1888. by King Features
Distributed by International News Service
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-02-08
The Brighter Side

I HAVE read quite a passed. of
war literature, native and
foreign, the last few months.
and l think the best Of the
lot is "Guadalcanal Diary" by
Richard Tregaskis, correspondent
in the Pacific for International
News Service, which begins in
today's Detroit Times.
He comes close to Stephen
Crane in presenting word
picture of war that you cannot
only see but feel.
Tregaskis is a high-pockets
young man that / judge 10 be
in his late twenties.
He is so tall that he might
furnish a fine target for enemy
bullets, but so thin that by
turning sidewise he could mini
mize his visibility to nothing.
He has a rare gift for writing
and that industry for setting
down words that under any cir
cunstances always amaZes and
all the more so when a fellow
does il as sideline to an
assignment.
A REPORTER discharges his
"A duty TO his paper when he
writes his daily paragraphs on
the event in hand.
Being lazy by nature, ! have
always been willing to let it go
at that. without voluntarily add
ing TO my chore.
But these Tregaskises come
along at rare intervals with the
fire of ambition burning in their
bosoms and a desire TO write
that recognizes no obstacles or
regulation hours, and the first
thing you know we have to call
them geniuses. Isn't industry
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-02-08
by Damon RunyOn

said TO be 80 per cent of genius?
! can think of nothing that re-
quires more logged perseverance
than writing under the condi-
tons out of which came Qua
dalcanal Diary"
When the average writer
writes. he wants ease and COM
fort around him.
But Tregaskis wrote his diary
during the fighting on, Guadal-
canal and in the cockpit of
bomber with his portable type
writer webbing all over the lay
out, which produces an uneasy
feeling in the stomach like sea-
sickness.
But the words he put down
there stuck to the paper to give
us the most thrilling document
of the air and TO establish the
young author as a literary celeb
rity.
I1b SlOly Vi IiOW 1udldl-
Il canal Diary" came TO sud-
den life is an interesting
sidelight.
Tregaskis kept his diary with
his astonishing conscientious
ness every day that he was on
Guadalcanal.
Then when he got out of
there on a United States
bomber, he continued the work.
as / have said, until he got to
Honolulu.
There he cabled the home
office of international News
Service in New York that he
had the manuscript completed.
and it cabled him back TO ship
the work as speedily as pos
sible.
The manuscript reached the
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-02-08
Egg
White
BY DIR. Logan CIendening

could neutralize biotin in human
cases.
They hit on the egg white ex-
pertinent and have been trying
its effect on human beings who
had actual cancer.
The substance in egg white
which neutraliZes biotin is
known as avadin.
Doctors Kaplan and Zurrow
have reported on quite a number
of cases of cancer that have been
treated with egg white therapy
or with avadin.
These cases were reported at
meeting of the Pathological
Society of North America last
December.
THE patients were not treated
l. with any form Of X-ray.
radium or surgery, in order that
the experiments might be clear.
The treatment consisted SIM
ply in feeding each patient at
least three dozen raw egg whites
each day.
The reports of the results of
the treatment were quite aston
ishng.
One patient with large ma
lignant growth Of the tongue i'm
proved in health and general
feeling of we'll being; he also in
creased in weight.
In the meantime the growth
decreased at least one-third IN
size.
Naturally all physicians are
somewhat critical and skeptical
of results of this kind.
IN FACT. the New York doc
Il tors themselves are the first
TO warn that premature opti-
mism should not be allowed TO
hold full sway.
At the same time most physi-
clans feel that while the treat
ment of cancer by surgery,
X-ray and radium has made
great strides and is able TO cure
many cases. if taken in the early
stage, the real, ultimate treat
ment will be some form of
serum or drug or immunizing
agent which will curb the ten
dency TO cell growth in wildly
malignant tumors.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-02-08
Have Holiday
Evening Things

TIVE three New York critics
Il who practically pronounced
life and death on the Broadway
shows in the early 20's are gone.
Percy Hammond. Alexander
Woollcott and Haywood Broun,
the deadliest and most colorful
of the aisle-judges two decades
ago, are dead.
All three had wit and style.
Some of their capsules sur
vive among the classic punch
lines of all time, especially those
typed in acid.
Heaven will have to watch its
step, with those three sitting in
judgment.
Broun and Woollcott licked a
ink when they retired from
play reporting
There is nothing exer than an
ex-critic. but both Broun and
Woollcott bloomed more brightly
when they quit assasslnating
shows and actors.
Broun columned for causes,
and Alex won greater fame on
the networks and magazines.
II is ironic that the only one
who stuck 10 criticism was
Percy-who detested it.
THERE'S a debate going on
l. as to whether it is right to
hate the enemy.
Walter Russell Bowie took
issue with Rex Stout, who ar
gued that I'VE Shall Hate or
We Shall Fail"
Mr.. Bowie on q n d s that
hate rs Moral Poison"
Our two cents worth Is that
neither of these debaters quail
fed on say-so.
A better case could be made
by the families Of those tots
bombed in an English school
or the survivors OF Leningrad.
or the enslaved Poles and
Czechs.
Or that Chinese child photo
graphed sitting in the ruins OF
its wrecked home.
You could be sure that they
knew how they felt-and what
they were talking about.
The Nazis still are peddling
the bunk that they are saving
Europe from communism.
Is that why they attacked
anti-Communist land and
made war on freedom-loving
nations such as Czechoslovakia,
Holland, Denmark, Norway,
Greece and Britain?
Copyright by Daily Mirror, Inc.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-02-08
The OnIooker

so his wife. who was off WAAC-
ing in the Solomons or Africa
would have something to come
back TO. after this cruel war
was over.
I'VE have no jobs here for
men," she was saying And you
needn't come around after the
war either, because We won't he
hiring any of YOU quaint male
characters then, Judging from
how IL looks from where ] sit"
One way OF looking at H. TO be
sure. If you dote on camera
angles.
But, Of course. this was sup
posed 10 be Just a light-hearted
gag and yet | couldn't help but
remember the last war and how
impressed we were with the way
you girls were doing a mans
work in mans world, and we
couldn't hide the Joy we felt
watching you do IL Maybe that
was our mistake We should
have looked grim about II. We
should have complained. But we
couldn't.
WE MEN are simple souls.
w Open as an oyster on the
half she'll All Off emotions show
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-02-08

Hoover try the cases that his
agents dig up"
UNO," YOU say, but Assist
ant Atty. Gen. Thurman
Arnold tries the cases he digs up.
"Mr. Biddle doesn't try them
and how true IL II that any Sen
ator or member Of Congress Is
appeased that way?"
Then you say
surely Mr.. Biddle fears no
probe of his wonderful Dept OF
Justice? or does he?
surely there hasn't been
Govt department 80 clean a.
the Justice Dept since the Hard
ing regime?
"Why, IL II il true that any
Senator threatened him, didn't
Mr.. Biddle tell him 10 do his
duty aud probe him and his
Dept. ?"
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-02-08

A kiss. ,0hen all is said, phat
s IL?
A rosy dot placed on the 81" in
ioUiHg;
TITS secret told to the mouth
Instead Of TO the ear.
-Rostand.
(Above quoted in response to
a request for a definition of a
kiss" from four members of the
WAACs stationed at Des
Moines. Ia.
Il trust this request does not
indicate these WAACs have not
yet sufficiently centered their
mind on the war.
(Another definition is the
well-known one OF the good DR..
Henry Gibbons: "A kiss is the
anatomical juxtaposition OF two
orbicularis oris muscles IN
state of contraction. "-EVDD
our Campaign No. 7846A is
~ enjoying unusual co-opera-
ton from the clientele.
Object of this campaign is TO
cure Jeanette Macdonald of
insomnia.
Tell jeanette to walk around
in the grass in her bare feet be-
fore retiring; she will sleep like
babe in arms" says one kindly
subscriber.
Says another:
Tell Jeanette to visualize a
black curtain about size of a
stage curtain rolling slowly
down.
eff she doesn't 60 to sleep
after completion of first roll
down, tell her to keep the cur
tain rolling.
"She will soon pass Oft into
pleasant dreams of Capt. Gene
Raymond sitting In a box ap-
plauding her debut at the Met
QUERIES from clients:
W l am a high school coed
Sitting here in that boring thirc
period of mine, physiology,
thought l would drop you a line
and ask which contemporary
novelist has the best style.
Would you say Hemingway
A-Some people might say
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-02-08
-McLemOre-ing for Henry
BY y. II. McEVOy:
Brave New World.

on our shining faces. II is
CHEEKY spectacle TO see gallant
gal in there smuggling from SUM-
up TO shutdown. And is there a
more comforting sight tn an
watching the little woman you
love Juggling in the coal stag
gering out with the ashes, and
struggling up the stairs with
the piano on her back?
l want TO tell you. / can sit
down deep in big. soft chair
and never get tired watching
this heart-warming cant.
Now you are gSing into the fac
tories again! You are pushing
locomotives and operating huge
cranes--no job too big-no re-
sponsibility too great A man
can't help but thrill at the sight.
Magnifico!
A ND what promise for the
"A future. Truly the planners
may be right when they say the
postwar world will be different
"a better place TO live ] can
begin 10 glimpse il now. You
girls will have all the jobs We
will kiss you good-by at the door
IN the morning and wave you
OFT 10 the foundries, the fac
tories and the farms. Then we
will rush back to bed and toy
with our toast and a bit OF egg
as we telephone all our friends
and talk over the lovely party
we had the night before. And
how about lunch downtown
And a bit of shopping? Or
maybe a movie or a game of
bridge?
The hours 90 by like this. All.
gay. happy days! Evenings we
rush home just before you girls
stagger in from the foundries,
the factories and the farms. tot
ter into the living room and fall
fiat on your pretty faces in the
middle of the rug, while we
prattle on about the busy, busy
day we had and where in the
world did the time go?
So you are going 10 take over
our jobs after the war, are you.
girls? You wouldn't fool us
again--would you?
Distributed by McNaught Syndicate. Inc
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-02-08

dinance on the books which
made slack wearing by females
against the law.
Ordinance stated IL was IL
legal for a person 10 wear dress
not belonging TO his OF her sex
The Chicago lawmakers sug-
gested that there be added to
this the words:
with intent TO conceal his or
her sex"
SNTOST everybody has had
WI some mOmentous event of
their life happen in February.
What was yours ?" asks a Seattle
reader.
Guess 1 must be an exception.
All l can think of is that l
should have been graduated from
grammar school in February but
was left back and didn't get out
until June.
L remember my mother say
ing;
I'm afraid Edgar Is not so
smart"
My father said:
ooh, the lad is not so dumb;
he knows the batting average of
every ball player In the National
League, the past performances
of all the handicap horses and
the name of the capital of every
state in the Union"
Said my mother with touch
of sarcasm:
"YOu forgot TO mention that
he also knows the words of all
the popular songs"
A IR force Capt. Hugh Blue.
"A president of the My Name
Is a Poem Club. proudly writes:
II have just informed Fay
Wray, Lew Blue, Bridge
Pritchett, Paul Small and Others
of our club that we have new
member-Sue Blue, my grand
daughter, aged 8 weeks"
Owner of a neighborhood bar
in Manhattan, who does not wish
excessively inebriated patrons
hanging around his place, calls
for a lineup of all customer:
every hour on the hour.
Each is required to SING
Truly Rural" which goes ir
part:
eff you can sing truly rural
too, you're as sober as me-"
Any customer fumbling the
Truly Rural" is asked TO leave
Copyright. 1913. by King Features
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-02-08
Better Health

THE subject of biotin and egg
Il white injury seems 10 be
making the news since ! dis
cussed il in this column a week
or so ago.
To refresh your memory. bi-
otin is the chemical name for
the substance which was first
described as vitamin- II.
II is a growth-StImulating
factor and also seems 10 have
some influence on the health of
the skin.
1t was found experimentally
in animals that if they were fed
large amounts of raw egg white,
they had symptoms which were
called egg white injury" and it
also was proved that this was
not due TO the raw egg white
itself. but TO the fact that egg
white neutralized the action Of
part of the biotin.
THESE experiments were taken
Il TO be used as an argument
against the use of raw egg
white, as in eggnogs.
/ regarded these experiments
as somewhat theoretical and not
necessarily having a human APP
plication, and see no special
reason 10 change my mind.
In fact. il appears from ex-
periments made at Bellevue Hos
pital by Doctors Kaplan and
Zurrow that too much biotin
may be harmful and perhaps "A
little egg white 10 neutralize it
would be a good thing.
These New York doctors OBJ
servations seem 10 indicate that
biotin in too large amounts may
produce experimental cancer in
animals.
T'HERE are a few cases Of can
l. Ger in human beings which
have got well spontaneously
without treatment.
In most of these the individual
acquired an infection.
The idea was suggested TO
Doctors Kaplan and Zurrow that
perhaps the presence Of the bac-
terra in the infection neutralized
the biotin which was stimulating
the cancer TO growth.
They then attempted to find a
noninfectious way by which they
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-02-08

GO YOU girls are going 10
~ take over after the war.
arc you? All. If only we could
depend upon you II only We
could trust you not 10 change
your minds when the lights 90
on again all over what's left OF
the world.
Last war you hoped on the
street cars. turned yourselves
into motormen and conductors,
leapcd into elevators and. in no
time at all. learned 20 run up
and down past signals just like
experts. You were up on the
buildings fixing the roofs, down
IN me cellars helping the old
man make the beer. and all OF
us men were impressed and
thrilled with the way you girls
leapsed 10 tote that barge and
3. that bale
But you said the same thing
! then YOU were gonna hold on
10 those jobs-y weren't
4 Gonna let us men have them
back again, no matter how we
pleaded
TO-DAY. one of my spies brings
Il me cartoon showing an
employment Office and behind
the desk broad amplc-bosomed
gal-big as life-maybe a bit
bigger IN some places-glVlng
the old brush-off 10 a w'iSp OF
a little man who was only try
ing 10 get a Job so he could
keep the little home together
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-02-08

THE private papers of a cub
reporter: Some members of
Congress are having a holiday
evening things with various
political opponents.
They managed TO get rid of
Leon Henderson and Ed Flynn
and then Topped on Harry Hop
kins of the White House staff.
One of them just has de-
manded courtmartial for this
heckler, and other legislators
have had William Power Ma
loney of the department of JUS
tice promoted" where he won't
be such a nuisance 10 them and
their question marks
Mr.. Maloney is the fearless
government prosecutor who did
so much to convince a federal
grand jury that 33 persons
should be indicted (some con-
victed) on charges of seditiCn.
The attorney general OF The
United States (Biddle), accord
ing 10 reports, has promoted
Maloney TO the trial division
/ to handle war fraud cases.
II this is true, Maloney will
be removed from prosecuting
: The 33 alleged war frauds al
ready indicted.
| WASHINGTON insiders"
( w have told newspapermen
that the low down behind the
"promotion" of Mr.. Maioney is
a threat by certain members OF
Congress and the Senate.
: They are said 20 have visited
Mr.. Biddle In person 10 warn
him that unless Maloney was
-Jemoved-they would start a
brobe Of the remarkable de-
bartment OF justice.
( Soon after, Maloney was p.o-
NOTED.
Now this is difficult 70 be-
lieve, and we trust IL is all an
exaggeration.
But IN is just as difficult Tor
70 "A
"Mr. Biddle." you are advised,
"wHl try the sedition eases.
"Maloney Is merely his as-
sistant and his work IL TO dig
up the evidence.
"DOes Oman John Edgar
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-02-08

Henry McLemore is on his
wGy ororseoS. J. p. McEUog,
the ceR-kHoWH wrjier, is SUBJ
stjtuiiHg for him.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-02-08
OEfR0ITs FINES

Published every Week Day Evening and
Sunday Morning by The Times Publishing
Company at i225 Times Square, Detroit.
Michigan.
Entered at Detroit, Mich. as Second Glass
Mail Matter
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-02-08
Broadway
BY Walter Winchell

Trade Mark Registered. Copyright i04s
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-02-08
On the Side
BY Il. ". During

Distributed by King Features synd.. Inc.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-02-08
TELEPHONE-CHERRY, $500

Subscription rates In advance) by mail
20 any place In the United States, Canada
or Mexico ION Canadian subscriptions add
i0es TO cover war import taxi,
Evening star., 1943-08-22
line extending down toward Kharkov,
fall of which is expected soon.


fall of which is expected soon.
When the Russians reached within Is
miles of Bryansk on Tuesday, the Nazis
threw in many reserve tanks but the
Russians countered this move by draw
ing on their own reserves. The fight
ing was violent but inconclusive
The two armies moving on Kharkov
in an effort to envelope it made much
progress and on Wednesday, force at
tacking south of the big steel city cap
tured Zmyev, 20 miles away and only
10 miles from the main rail line of supply.
Northwest and west of the city, other
columns moved ahead seven miles and
cut the escape corridor to width Of 80
miles. In the action leading up to the
occupation of Smyev, ,he Russians swept
up great quantities of war material left
by the hastily falling back Nazis.
Toward the end of the week, violent
action broke out west of Rostov along
the Mus River where the Germans may
attempt to make another desperate
stand.
Russian hopes Of causing a general
withdrawal from the Ukraine thus de-
priving the Germans of the vital wheat
which is now approaching the harvest
ing point, grew as the battle continued
all week to favor the Red Armies al
though difficult terrain served to slow
the rate of advance as the week drew
to an end.