Evening star., 1943-04-14

and the men,
bers Of their
Henry McLemore. staff to retire to
the cloakroom and have jolly go
at darts or furling their umbrellas
for an hour or so.
Heating must be left to us and to
China and Russia, because the Eng
lish know nothing about it. To them
a fire is still just as much of q Won
drous, magic thing as it was to the
caveman who first struck pieces Of
flint together and produced a flame.
The English look upon a fire with
awe. They are quite sure, and there
is nothing quite as quite sure as
quite-sure Englishman, that there
isn't enough fire in the world to last
very long and that 1t must BE-
boarded as a miser would hoard
coins.
Seasons Wasted on English.
This column is prompted by the
fact that recently we have had what
Vermonters call "a cold snap" It
has been darn cold. with a whistling
wind, no sun, and clouds that walked
up and down the streets as II they
had the rights OF pedestrians. Prior
to this cold snap 1t had been warm
and springlike, but do you think the
English paid any attention to this
change In climate? Not bit.
The seasons are wasted on the
English 1t is a wonder that Mother
Nature hasn't become disgusted long
before this and ceased to give the
English winter, spring, summer.
autumn and fall. They recognize
none Of them. When this cold snap
arrived the English didn't add q
lump Of coal to the fire or put on an
extra coat. They went right ahead
as If nothing had happened. as II
they were superior to any Of ma
lures quirks.
1t makes 1t tough on a visitor to
England, this scorn Of the elements.
Consider my own little apartment.
1t has as its one and only heating
device an electric grill, stuck 30 far
back In the wall that a man in the
next fiat was decent enough to offer
to pay for half of what it cost me.
Size of Pencil.
You should see this little heater
which must serve me through the
bitter days and the chill. It's about
the size of an unsharpened lead pen
ell and, after being turned on about
three hours, glows with the bril-
liancy Of an uncooked hot dog. The
head Girl Scout IN America couldn't
toast a marshmallow over 1t inside
Of three hours and the flies and
spiders who share my room have
such scorn for it that they often
gather on the hearth and then leap
upon It's supposedly red-hot surface
and do figs just to keep their feet
warm
This little heater costs me ap-
proximately a dollar a week extra
and the maid has made 1t quite plain
that she considers me a sissy for
having 1t and she does her best to
discourage my keeping 1t by throw
ing open the windows whenever 1t
Is on. With the windows open, the
heater doesn't have a chance. It
retreats even further back m the
wall and tucks its hands IN its
pockets to keep itself warm.
Teddy Bear" Suit Is Warm.
The real tip-of on how little the
English know about heating is to be
found in that suit that Mr.. Church.
i'll wears. You know the one that
makes him look like a teddy bear
with the nicotine habit and which
covers him from head to foot. You
can't tell me that Mr.. Churchill
wears that because 1t is comfortable
or that man OF his breeding con-
siders 1t a well-cut garment. He
wears that garment for but one
thing: 1t Is warm. I have never been
| W lllo dt ~ LrOWilufk sbfetb
or to his private home for cheouers
but I'll bet you there isn't enough
fire in either place to start q blazs
in a celluloid factory.
You will notice that Mr. Churchill
is always coming to America. What
do you want to bet he doesn't come
| tust as much for a chance IN spepd
day in a warm room a. 10 talk
with Mr.. Roosevelt and discuss the
grand strategy?
One Of the reasons Germany will
never break the spirit Of this city by
bombing is that the bombs start fires
and these fires give the average Eng
lishman the first chance he has ever
had IN his life to get warm, really
warm.
Distributed By Merasrht Syndicate, me,