Evening star., 1943-09-15


wrong foot with his introduction.
Toastmasters always seem to feel
that 1t is necessary to praise the
speakers to the sky. They go on
and on describing some fascinating
individual who bears no resemb-
lance to ane speaker. Then they
suddenly sit down and there the
speaker Is, absolutely unable to full
Ill any Of the nice things said about
him.
What toastmasters should do Is to
look at the speaker and tell the
truth. In my case, for instance,
here Is what any toastmaster should
say:
Judging from the appearance OF
our speaker We are not going to have
much OF talk today. The poor
bloke Is so nervous he hasn't been
able to eat bite, and he has drunk
50 much water he must be COM
pletely waterlogged by now. I can
hear his knees knocking together,
his teeth are chattering, and he
keeps nervously fumbling with some
notes he has under his napkin.
Why we are here to listen to him
talk is mystery to me. The man
isn't a speaker. He makes his living
writing. But here he is, anyhow,
and If he'll excuse me I'm going
to get out of here while the getting
Is good
That sort Of introduction would
give me confidence. I'd know that
no one expected anything of me, and
that the audience would be grateful
II I didn't collapse right In front
Of their faces.
To me, one Of the greatest dis
advantages of having to make a
speech is that I have to be there
in person and listen to my own
speech. If I could only manage to
be out of town when I talk, 1t
wouldn't be so bad. But no, have
to stand right there, listening to this
strange, unattractive voice go on and
on saying something that I already
know.
Another thing that hurts me as
. speaker is my refusal to make
decent notes. I always feel that it
Is shameful to stand up with a
handful of notes, so I always write
mine in the tiniest possible hand
writing on little scraps Of paper
that an ant could use for napkin.
I hide these little notes all over
my clothing and when my mind
becomes q blank and need one of
the notes for suggestion give
every appearance of having the
seven years itch. I reach in this
pocket and that pocket. I shake
myself, hoping a note will fall from
a coat cuff. Some of my audiences,
have learned afterward, we're
under the impression that I was
about to have flt, and doctors in
the house we're urged to 60 to
my aid.
Long ago I read that one of the
ways to overcome nervousness while
speaking to crowd was to fasten
| your eyes on one member of the
audience and pretend as If you
were addressing him alone; that
| only one pair of ears was hearing
you and only one pair of eyes was
peering at you. I always try that
| and 1t never works. The man or
woman I pick out as my target
always stares back at me as if I
were something In an aquarium and
on more than one occasion my VIC
tim has gotten up and left rather
than have me apparently try to
hypnotic him.
I have made speeches In Atlanta
before and plan to use the same
speeches I did before, because It's
100 to l that no Albanian who
heard me when was there before
Will be. within three blocks of the
places I am going to speak this
time. To have heard McLemore. is
to promise yourself that 1t will
never happen again.
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