Evening star., 1943-04-12

wife, Jean. in
Henry McLemore. Daytona Beach
and nothing much more. That's
pretty big request, know. No edi-
tor ever was sold on a column by a
syndicate salesman who said, You'll
love Soandso's stuff He writes the
incest letters to his wife"
But I am bit desperate and in
need Of an opportunity to answer
Jeans charges that I haven't writ
ten to her since I left home. Her
letters have been getting to me, but
mine haven't been getting to her.
Why, I don't know. I have sent
them V-mail. I have sent them
air mail. l have even put them in
bottles and thrown them in the
Thames on the chance that they
would be washed ashore In Florida.
l was almost prepared to hand g.
couple to fish and ask him to swim
them over when I thought that per-
haps my editors, being married men,
would understand what it is to have
a wife mad at you and would allow
me to get by with a column like
this.
Letters Change.
jeans letters started out all
sweetness and light. The first two
or three intimated that in her mind.
at least, was one Of nature noble
men and that something fireplace
able had gone from her life when 7
departed. The next batch was in
the same vein and she even went so
far as to say that the house seemed
empty without me there to fall down
the stairs once or twice a day and
shake ashes on the rugs, litter the
floors with my clothes and clutter up
the place with my typewriter. She
even mentioned how full the moon
was and how she wished I were there
so the two of us could bay at 1t to-
gether.
Then, when there were no letters
from me, she changed, and quick.
She started getting mad and filling
her letters with attractive little
| notes Of how the roof leaked, how
she would have written before but
she had been so busy with other
things and how all the other girls
she knew with husbands abroad
received letters all the time. All
I hear now Is how Margaret had g.
letter from Ted and Gina had a
letter from Billy and Sue and Susie
and all the rest got six. seven or
eight letters In one day.
An Answer to Jean.
The last letter I had was boiled
down to the date of the month and
the fiat declaration that she wasn't
writing me anymore. Can I help
1t If my mail doesn't get there?
I can't swim over with it. I couldn't
keep in convoy to start with. So.
If you editors will be indulgent and
| forgive me for just this one day.
I'll explain to Jean. Here goes:
Dear Jean: have written to you
so times. Unfortunately, ours Is
not the only love affair that Uncle
Sam has to watch over. There are
hundreds of thousands Of men writ
ing letters home to girls and he
can't take my letter and say. This
is one that counts, so fly 1t over
in bomber all by ITSELF
But please don't go to Reno. Re-
member that I must have loved you.
else why would I have bought that
ring which we are still paying for2
You are keeping up the payments,
aren't you? I'd hate to lose 1t now
when it is within tenth of a carat
OF our grasp
Did you have enough money to
pay the March Is income tax in
stallment? Glad to hear that yo,.
didn't let Saks-Fifth Avenue and
Lord & Taylor intimidate you.
Sorry to hear that the pup fell in
bucket of red paint, but maybe
it will teach her a lesson.
Word for Aunt Bess.
Please see that some moth stuff
is put In the drawer with my sweat
ers so that I don't have to wear
sweaters that look like colanders
when I come home. Please keep
the sewing machine out of my room.
just because 1 am gone you needn't
make 1t over into a rummage room.
Two dollars for moving the lawn
seems little high. See If you
can't get some one to do 1t little
cheaper. After all, I used to NOV
lawns for 25 cents a lawn.
Tell Aunt Bess I got her letter
and that will do my best to look UP
Cousin Jim. But she might have
told me what his last name is and
what branch of the service he is in.
If it is the same Cousin Jim l am
thinking about, I hope I don't find
him.
Must close now as this is costing
6 cents a word, which Is almost
what Calvin Coolidge got. Much
| love, Henry.
Postscript: If the pup Is still cov-
cred with red paint. try turpentine.
| Distributed by McNaueht Syndicate, Incl