Evening star., 1943-03-24

# 81 4 ES&xS experience II
71@'''''''SSS ''S's@ sFS~ what the English
Henry AeLtmore, are pleased to
call male hairdresser'S establish
ment that the Army issued me a
tin hat not so much for when I
reach the battle lines as to wear
when I must so to the barber,
English BARRIERS, all of whom by law
must serve an apprenticeship with
a landscape gardener, clipping
hedges and moving lawns before
being allowed to get behind a chair,
first alarm an American by silence.
Unlike American BARRIERS, who
during a simple trim can and do
touch on all subjects ranging from
the material Kangaroo pouches are
lined with to a discussion OF the
wisdom Of lengthenlng the open
season on lbeX and chamoi5, their
British brothers never say a word.
AS a result the shop is as silent as
tomb and YOU can hear a curl
drop or a whlsker bounce of the
tile floor This Is bound to depress
an American accustomed to barber
shops that sound like New Year
eve IN a boiler factory and it puts
him in bad frame of mind for the
horrors that begin when the barber
4 settles down to work.
/ Clips Ears at Start.
{ The barber I got, and he must not
have been unusual because none of
my English friends has noticed any
thing peculiar about my haircut,
started right off OH my ears. Not
around my ears, but on my ears
( themselves. Much to my surprise
and more OF my anguish he began
/ scalIoping them What's that for"
I asked. casting about for the nearest
( first-aid kit He didn't answer
because English BARRIERS not only
don't talk, they don't listen. He
/ Just went ahead nicking little bits
out of my ears ana only occasionally
botherlng to snip off a bit OF hair.
When he had finished with my
cars, he thoughtfully turned the
chair SO T couldn't see the carnage
and started to work on the back OF
my head Resigned, I thurnbed
my dog tag 10 see if it were still
/ there and what was left of me
would be sure to reach the proper
destination in the States He worked
+ on the back OF my head for three
/ quarters Of an hour, stopping only
to change to a blunt pair Of scis-
sOrs when he found that the ones
. he was using we're fairly sharp and
didn't hack we'll enough to give him
The thrill Of landing a salmon.
He then moved to the top Of my
head and was giving it good weed
ing when suddenly he laid down his
tools and disappeared. All the other
BARRIERS laid down their work and
followed him. An AFRAID, +
though They have heard the alert
and ducked into a shelter. Fine
thing to DO, not to warn a customer
and let him hustle TO safety. Mag
nifiCenJ craftsmanship to leave me
and my fellow victims sitting here
with hair trickIing down our backs
and some of us with hot towels
wrapped around our faces. So this
is what We get for lease lend, huh!"
Wears Hat All the Time.
Then a man whose head was stiu
bowed in a basin where his barber
had deserted him in the middle of
shampoo. gasped through air bubbles
that everything was all right, that it
was tea-time and the BARRIERS had
gone for q spot Of tea. If had had
any camel blood in my veins, that
would have been the straw that
would have broken my back, But
there was nothing to do but sit and
wait.
/ had been IN the chair longer
than the. average boy is in college
+ before the barber returned and with
out a word resumed his work some
/ where e. vicinity Of where ne
had lef, ga. AT long last he finished,
which he announced by removing
the apron from around my neck and
giving the chair a forward kick
which sent me pIunging forward like
a pilot in a crash landing.
Unfortunately I saw myself in the
mirror. OF what used to be myself.
There is no way OF describing nay
haircut but to say that my head re-
. sembled a porcupine attending
fancy dress ball. NV ears we're seal
loped tufts Of dismal red hair stuck
. up all over my head like plants in
careLessiy sowu garden, and he had
moved the part from the left side to
just off the center OF my head. Now
I wear nay tin hat all the time TO
cover my shame. It looks funny, but
not nearly so odd as what is be-
meath it.
Distributed by M1Nsuzhs Syndicate, rnc)
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