Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1943-01-19
McL-emore-
Coils for Armistice
In PurIor Warfare
Nv HENRY McLEMORF.

by 1ENht MCLFNtOhG.
The most dangerous people at
large in the United States today
are not the fifth columnistS. the
sixth columnists, the seventh col
umnists, or even the plain column
lists like myself.
The most dangerous people run
ming loose-and the Federal Bureau
Of Investigation would do we'll to
stop bothering with sissies and start
rounding them up-are the ones who
are creating games to be played in
the home during these days of
blackoutS, thrift and non essential
travel.
The magazines are particularly
full Of these games, You can't pick
up a magazine without finding one,
two or three pages devoted to illus
trations showing how these horrors
can be perpetrated in the home.
The pictures, and the text that &C
companies them, explain the equip
ment needed for the games, the
rules, the technique for playing, the
scoring and-well almost everything
but the treatment of the injuries
almost certain to result from par
ticipation In this fiendish type OF
fun.
have yet to run across one of
these ''parlor' games that didn't
sound rougher than polo played on
panther back, or lacrosse played
with axes. 1t seems to me that the
only sensible parlor in which to play
these games would be the parlor Of
hospital where the internes were
on 24-hour duty.
All Adds up to Fun.
Take the simplest of the games
that all the magazines are clamor-
ing for us to play--that one where
you try to balance yourself on an
upright milk bottle. What II you
happen to achieve balance on top
OF a milk bottle? You'll never
make a varsity letter. You'll never
get your name in the record book,
You'll never be chosen to represent
your country in the Olympics. The
best you can get out of an ability
to perch on a milk bottle is proof
that you are abnormal, because the
screamingly funny part of this
game Is that nearly every one falls
off.
When you fall off, you may very
well scramble a few vertebrae, or
snap a collar bone, but this, I
gather, adds to the general hilarity.
Another highly recommended
game (see any CURRENT issue of
most of the magazines Is one in
which two people are blindfolded
casually a man and a woman to
add the romantic touch) and seated
upon the floor. facing one another.
Each is given a heaping bowl of
cereal. The idea is for them to try
to feed one another.
Fortunately, the eyes of the con-
testants have a slight protection.
because Of the blindfolds. but the
rest of their faces are wide omen
to attack by thrust and parry of the
cereal-laden spoons.
I suppose that if the male con-
testant drives home a lab of corn
flakes to his opponents ear. the
referee cries ''touche." That. if I
know anything about the female of
the species, will result In the man
getting the whole bowl of cereal
banged across his noggin.
Just for a Laugh.
Still another attractive blindfold
game involves the placing of ohsta-
cles all over the room. The contes-
tant is allowed to look at the
obstacles without the blindfold
then he is blindfolded and turned
loose to founder about the place.
pumping his shins, hitting his
tunnybone, falling down, smashing
the furniture, and generally allow
ing the other members of the party
las the magazines put It'd ito have
a good laugh"
All I can say is this: If the host
and hostess can laugh at all of this
when they know what a shamles
their homes will be when their fun
loving guests leave, they should
not hesitate about spending the
money to see a good physiatrist
Can you imagine how a house
would look after an evening of
such "parlor" games? The milk
bottle wounded writhing on the
floor. The choking cereal casual
Ties gasping for breath. The
OBSTACLE racers crying for succor
Speaking of "succor" that reminds
me OF another word. Any one who
would play these indoor games ia
Just that.