Evening star., 1943-02-13
MoEvoyGiyes
Sixth Grude
Vuledictory
Bores Inside Dope
On Eosy Racket
OF Authorship
Ry J. +. McENOi.

tThe Sixth Grade English Glass OF
Manuel. N. Y, has written me, ask
ing If am not miSprint-and how
could they miSspeu McLemore and
get McEvoy out of it. Satisfied that
this feeling must be general, MIR.
McEyoy takes this opportunity to
send his apologies to Mr.. MCLemore,
his greetings to Mr.. McLemore'S
readers, and the following reply to
the Nanuet Sixth Grade English
Glass and SANDY who seems to be
class official of some sortD
Dear SANDY:
J. P. McEyoy doesn't remember
where he was born-but he has been
told that it was New York City and
that the year was 1894. He doesn't
know whether this was a good year
to be born in or not, and is glad now
that nothing can be done about it.
He didn't go to school-he was
dragged.
This went on for a number Of
years, during which time McEvoy
grew stronger and stronger-untfT
finally he couldn't be dragged any
more This was officially called the
end of his education-but it was
really only the beginning, because
from that point on he was dragged
backward through life. ..
It's an Easy Racket. ~
Mr., McEvoy writes for a living.
That means he puts lot of words
together. They are the same old
words and most of the time he
puts them together in the same old
way This is called authorship. He
pretends that 1t is very difficult. but
confidentially-and he wouldn't
want the Manuel Public School to
spread this around-it is a very
easy racket, All you need to DO is
put enough words together and
some of them are bound to make
sense. Mr.. McEvoy still believes
that although he has been putting
them together for 33 years he hasn't
made much sense vet. -
He lives on South Mountain road
within stones throw of the
Manuel Public School-if he could
throw stone as far as WASH
in pf could
he has no intentions of throw
ing stones at the Manuel Public
School and presents these few
vague and Intellectual words with
the hope that the Manuel Public
School will not throw stones at
him. III
In the last war Mr.. McEvoy was 4
four minute speaker, selling Liberty
bonds. The only thing he has
learned between wars is that if you
talk only half as long you sell twice
as many bonds-Which shows that
he has learned an awful lot He
only hopes he won't forget it when
the emergency is over.
Mr. McEvoy has an assortment of
children, the Oldest being rs and
the youngest 4. In an absent
minded way, he gets his children
mixed up with his grandchildren
but that doesn't seem to make much
difference, since neither children
nor grandchildren pay the slightest
bit OF attention to anything he says.
Jap Double Talk. -
He Is very proud Of this, because
If they really listened to him he
would worry about them, knowing
how often he has been wrong. He
is particularly puzzled by his "a
year-old son who speaks Japanese
which sounds like double-talk--
which sounds like japanese.
Would you care for a cute saying
and how can you help yourself?
Yesterday, the 4-year-old Peggy
said, Daddy, are you going to make
some food on the typewriter so we
won't be hungry like Hansel and
Gretel?" On second thought, may
be that isn't so cute-maybe she's
really beginning to worry.
Every few days his secretary goes
through Mr.. McEvoy's wastepaper
basket and sends the contents, he'll
ter-skelter, in all directions, to a
sucker list of assorted addresses she
once bought for 10 cents. To every
ones surprise, this junk later turns
up as stories, plays, radio scripts.
books, etc. 4
Mr.. McEvoy hasn't the faintess
idea Of how they got into the wastes
basket in the first place. His best
guess Is that he is a secret SOM
nambulist and writes in his sleep.
! Writing is like that-once YOU start,
YOU can't stop yourself. You go ca
and on until you are taken away
| by Stern-faced men in starched
white uniforms or shut up in an old
garret and chained to the bed
post like character in play by
Eugene ONeil.
AT present, Mr.. McEyoy's favorite
sport is lying down. his fayorite ex-
ercise is breathing and his favorite
hobby is chatting cozily and in
timately with his rationing board.
| Distributed by McNeught Syndicate, Incl.
sAFAkT N:I. ar.