Evening star., 1943-04-24

we WOulQfC 90
for him. We'd
Henry McLemore. like to go on his
note, pay couple of installments on
his home, send him bag full of
rubies and diamonds and even have
a monument erected in his honor.
His order, authorizing us to wear a
simple patch on the left shoulder Of
our coats instead of that Internal
felt band around our arms, not only
has brought sunshine back into our
lives but has come close to saving
our sanity.
The green armband was the most
devilish creation ever devised by one
man for another man to wear. 1t
was about the same size as a piano
runner to start with. When you put
it on, it gave your arm the appear
ance OF a limb of tree in full bud
and you were in danger of having
near-sighted birds attempting to
make nests on it. 1t wouldn't stay
on your arm except when you were
in reclining position and held your
arm very still. Any movement like
walking or running would send it
sliding down into your hand and
military authorities froWned on cor
respondents carrying the brassard
as if it were a handkerchief.
Couldn't Be Kept on.
There was no earthly way to
fasten it securely. We tried every
thing without success. Hooks and
eyes, snap fasteners, thread, rubber
bands, safety pins. One correspond
ent in desperation even tried glue.
used safety pin for while, but
gave it up after I had stuck myself
so many times that my arm looked
like that of a drug addict. A safety
pin had this disadvantage, too. 1t
always caught in the sleeve of your
shirt and so to take off your coat it
was necessary to remove your shirt
also.
The green band was emblazoned
with a white "C' about as big as a
varsity football letter. This &C" was
constant source of bewilderment to
the English and resulted in corre-'
spondents being asked more ques-
tions than a fellow on the midday
shift at Grand Central information
booth. I was asked at one time or
another if I were chaplain, cook,
cop, cowboy and almost everything
else that begins with &C."
One night in restaurant,
perfect-type British colonel was SO
fascinated by the &C" that he over
came his reserve and said, Listen,
old fellow, would you consider me
forward if I asked what that stands
for?"
Colonel Overwhelmed.
I dropped my eyes, attempted to
look embarrassed and then answered,
mo, I don't mind. 1t means that
I have been cashiered."
The colonel almost died of en-
barrassment. He stammered, coughed
and blushed. Then his sense of
fair play came to the surface and
he grew indignant. Good Lord,
man! Do you mean to tell me your
Government makes you wear that
badge of shame?"
I didn't have the heart not to
set him straight. I believe he would
have died of shame for me.
There is only one drawback to the
new shoulder patch. 1t means
lot of saluting. Enlisted men are
not obliged to salute correspondents
and the green band was their warn
ing that they could spare them
selves the trouble. 1t also saved
a correspondent from having to
return salutes.
Salutes Are Not the Best.
And, If you have ever seen
correspondent salute, you know what
this means to him. There is moth
ing like correspondents salute.
Not having been taught to salute,
Correspondents have one all their
own. 1t combines the worst fea-
lures of the salutes of the Girl
Scouts, Camp Fire Girls, Boy Scouts,
Woodmen of the World and knights
Of Pythias and is executed with all
the grace and verve of a hero run
ming from puppy. 1t is tribute
to the politeness of the enlisted
men that none has yet laughed
out loud at the type of salute given
by the correspondents.
Now that we will get more sa-
lutes. am going to take to riding
in cabs so I won't have to unleash
my salute on the soldiers. Their life
is hard enough without having to
watch me give fairly good imita-
ton of man throwing slight fit.
distributed by McNausht Syndicate. Inc)