The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1943-11-19
RESTAURANT SCENE

CIlGl Caught d IIlOCk yGSJckOdys OAt
he hasn't been able to snare a turtle.
Customer-How about noodle soup?
Waiter-Soup with no noodles is
the best can do for you today. It's
NOODLELESS TUESDAY.
Customer-Any chance of a steak?
Waiter-Eggplant steak or halibut
steak.
Customer-Now don't spring that
| eggplant steak one on me. I'm sick
of that gag. / just heard Of the
most popular restaurant in town.
Waiter-What makes it popular?
Customer - The proprietor has
stuck big sign in the window:
"THIS PLACE SERVES NOTHING
CALLED AN EGGPLANT STEAK"
Waiter-That might do it at that.
Customer-Any good fish specials?
Waiter-They're not good, but
they're always trying. Why don't
you take some turkey?
Customer-Have you got turkey?
Waiter-No, but it's the sort Of
thing I like to refuse you. ! don't
know why, but I get bigger kick
out of refusing customer turkey
han, say, tripe.
Customer-Have you tripe?
Waiter-I'm afraid we have tripe
today. It's not bad. It's ON the
OPA's Hit Parade of Meat Substi-
tutes this week.
Customer-Could I get baked po-
tato with it?
Waiter-A Fifth Columnist, Ell?
Customer-Just small baked po-
tato, with oleomargarine or catsup
on it?
Waiter-You ought to know better
than to go around asking for baked
! potato. I've good mind to report
you.
Customer (pleadingly) - Don't do
that, please. I was before OPA last
month for trying to get baked po-
tato. This would be second Of
| tense. l could have lost my potato
card.
Waiter (pretiy tired and little
contused)-Now that you've had the
main course, what do you wish for
dessert?
Customer haven't had a thing
yet!
Waiter-Trying to get out of pay
ing your check, chi!
| 3e g. Al
GOING TOO FAR &
Hitler isn't very happy,
But he tries to force smile,
And he often is successful
AS he fakes the CHEEKY style;
He can simulate composure
When he's in the deepest ruts,
But that song, "the Volga boat.
mem
It will always drive him nuts!
He is getting quite accustomed
/ To proceedings in reverse;
! He's fair hand at concealing
That affairs are getting worse;
He puts on certain calmness,
But goes crazy as a loon,
At the very faint suggestion
| Of a Saskatchewan tune.
British melodies offend him,
Yankee Doodle gets his goat;
He will vince at Solo Mia
From most anybody's throat;
But he goes up through the ceiling
With a fierce and fiendish cry
When he hears somebody asking
For "The Russian Lullaby"
/ He will stand for certain French
4 &c a0 tunes, M ? &-t
And can take song in Dutch;
Melodies of ancient Scotland
Will not stir him overmuch;
! But his violence amaZes,
And he bellows all night long
If he tries short wave program
And he gets "The Cossacks' Song"
! Oh, he's getting somewhat hardened,
But thing that most annoys
Is a song about Petrushka
BY those Balalaika boys;
And to see him tear the rugs up
And start throwing lamps and
chairs
Whisper softly: 'Lissen, wanna s
! HEAR SOME RUSSIAN GYPSY
AIRSIll"
About Arlene is glad to get back
to camp after a furlough in the city.
81 just can't believe" she says
YEARLY, s'that ! once bought those
kinds Of autumn and winter hats,
tco.'
i Can You Remember
/ Away back when the bartender
gave a boot whether you liked the
/ way he mixed drink or not?
-
It is denied that there is ciga,
rette shortage. But where there d
smoke there must be some fire.