Evening star., 1943-06-03

'' EQen ana QlQ my
very best to eavesdrop In short, if
there is anything going on around
here I hear about it.
l would like to tell you that
London is at the moment the report
and rumor capital of the world.
Every man you meet on the street,
and a great many of the tots YOU
meet on the street have very definite
opinions as to where, when and how
the second front will open. In
quite sure that if you had a ladder
high enough to reach the top OF
Nelson's statue, the hero of Trafalgar
would tell you where he thought the
next great offensive against the
Germans would start.
Guessing DepartmentaIized.
One Of the chief reasons for the
popularity of the reports and rumors
Is due to the newspapers, all OF
which have more military experts
than the average American news
paper has Office boys.
The average London daily has
the following batting order: Sir
Arthur TltmouSe in charge Of air
guessing; Ronald Holcake, CBE.
lou, BYPU, KC, in charge of naval
second guessing: the Right Hon.
Featherstone Waterloo, in charge Of
submarine warfare: Sir Pnmpton
Plump. hero of the Crimean and
Boer Wars, in charge of guerrilla
Commando tactics: Lord Pufstone,
who was with Kitchener until
Kitchener found out he was with
Kitchener, in charge of second
guessing by all other second guess
erS on the staff.
The impact of all the reports and
rumors these sterling Wheelchair
strateglsts put out every morning
is terrific. After reading it, man
scarcely dares to open his bedroom
door for fear that the second front
Will open right in his own room.
Out of curiosity, I checked the
other day to see where all these
gentlemen thought the second front
was going to open. Their opinions
were varied to say the least.
One felt, for reasons he did not
care to explain, that the natural
place for the big push to begin was
over the old trail that Stanley
blazed in looking for Livingston in
Darkest Africa. He seemed to feel
the monkeys were natural saboteurs
and fifth columnists and would aid
every Allied cause.
Another, whose picture would in
dlcate that he could not possibly
60 On an expedition unless provided
with a private barge of his own,
indicated that the push would come
directly across the Channel. Others
liked such places as Greece, Italy,
the Low Countries, the High Coun-
tries, Yugoslavia, Spain and everv
other point Rand McNally has gone
to such great trouble to put ON
the map.
But McLenlore Knows.
I, personally. think a second front
should be opened against these
jerks, if I may use the old Anglo
Saxon word. The very fact that
the British Government allows
them to spout with the regularity
OF Old Faithful is proof enough that
they don't know what the he'll they
are talking about.
Now, In my case it's different I
happen to knoW-but who am I to
reveal military secrets I can 90
TO London newspaper and change
my name and add a few initials TO
1t and sell my informat ton for what
a McLemore considers a princely
sum.
And If you don't think I need
money. you try to live in London
Tor a while. Imitation is not only
around the corner here, it is the
doorman at any place you stop.
You can call any man Imitation"
here and he will turn around and
speak to you. 1t is the most COM
mon name since Charles or John,
London may not be the most ex-
penslve place in the world in which
to live, but it makes Washington
look like f1ophouse.
distributed by McNsusht Syndicate, Incl