The Hardin tribune-herald. [volume] (Hardin, Mont.) 1925-1973, 1943-01-07

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STUDY OF MAN GONE SLIGHTLY
MAD THROUGH RATION RULES
Mr.. Twitchell took two more let
tiers from ration boards from the
letterman and weighed them care
fully. Then he handed them back.
Sorry. Can't use EN-" he said.
1--WE already had my two and a
half pounds this week"
Get the sugar bowl" he com
manded, addressing Mrs. Twitchell.
What for?' she asked.
Got to turn in all but five Jumps"
he said.
Elmer then stood on his head in
the middle Of the living room and
put or his glasses.
What on earth are you doing
now" demanded Mrs. Twitchell.
Got to copy the serial numbers
on the sidewalks Of all my oil burn
ers," he snapped.
At this point. Mrs. TWitchell went
upstairs and quietly summoned the
doctor.
The doctor arrived as Elmer
was leaning owe a table repeat
ing his name and address over
and yer again and giving his
height, age and color of eyes.
Elmer, what are you doing
now?" asked the wife.
"Just another registration" he
snapped.
The doctor motioned to Mrs.
Twitchell to sit down and whis-
pered that it would be better just
to observe Elmer without any
comment for a while.
Elmer took from his pocket a
small thermometer and held it in his
mouth a few moments. Then he read
it. "Seventy-nine degrees" he an
nounced. They can make trouble
for me for having a temperature like
that. I could have avoided it all,
though"
Mrs. Twitchell forgot herself and
asked: How"
by switching from meat to COAL
he barked. You remember all those
warnings that all cars should keep
down to two cups a mile"
He then went into the kitchen,
took the coffee pot and threw it
away.
Got to get something small
err" he said. I'm only an "A
card holder. My allowance is to
be cut to three gallons a week
now. Used to be allowed four.
Tried to join a Share-the-Mocha
club but couldn't do it,"
Elmer walked to the telephone.
Hello. Is this Henderson," he
asked. "Just want to tell you
about the butter. 1t was worth
retreading SO I called the ex-
press company and turned it in"
"Quite a case" observed the doc.
tor, making notes.
Mr.. Twitchell now got a can OF
gasoline, poured out a small guam.
tity, added condensed milk, a pinch
of sugar and proceeded to drink it.
Tastes lousy" he said. but a ra-
ton order is a ration order"
Suddenly he put the cup aside and
remarked, Il forget this was a cof-
feeless Tuesday,"
How long has he been acting
like this?" asked the doctor.
Just for the last day or two"
said Mrs. Twitchell.
who's that?" demanded e.
mer, suddenly noticing the doc
tor. "Ah, 1 recognize him now.
He's the federal furnace inspec-
tor. It's okay, inspector. l laid
my furnace up for the winter
and am heating the house by
bicycle now"
The doctor at this point sneaked
up behind Elmer and sIugged
him with a heavy paperweight,
knocking him cold.
ITS the only way to handle
these cases." he said to Mrs.
Twitchell. Pm getting more of
'em every day"
Fathers preit, dizzy nou-
They're tossed him into bed:
To get those tire numbers he
Stood too long on his head.
Sign over a Connecticut movie
house:
The General Died at Dawn
with
JukeboX Jennie
Now that butter is to be rationed
we ought to see less of the fellow
who always took about a pound of