The Waterbury Democrat., 1943-05-13
TI OWNED THE PAPER

IF OWNED THE PAPER
 There would be no set political policy. The sheet would support men and ideas, not parties. Any of- fice-seeker who craved the papers back-pats would have to earn them, not inherit them from Abe Lin- coln, The paper would reserve the right to drop It's favorites like hot potatoes at the first sign of welsh ing on promises or bilking the pro- letariat.
 Reporters would be ordered to walk out on "off-the-record" con- fidences. The idea being that the spieler has something to say, or he hasn't--which Is all paper wants to know.
 The obituary dept wouldn't deal in valentines. If the deceased was a heel all his life, his death notice would say so. It's no fun rapping the dead, but death doesn't make rats and heroes equal,
 All editors and staffers would be required to pay strictest attention to the No. rule-never let the pa- per get apathetic Not only Is q listleSs daily ticketed straight for Potter's Field, but the towns that have them is where the BundS and Quislings grow,
 The society editor would have to be witty and sardonic. The caper- ingS of the privileged are usually comic and ought to be reported for laughs and jeers. The elegants don't mind. They're like pollticos and ac- tors-interested in not what's printed about them, but only in that 1t IS printed. The editor would go easy on the climbers, most of them being engaged In 1t for meals and drinks poor morons.
 While "T" stuff from the lads on the war front Is readable and prob- ably necessary - due to censoring- the foreign staff would be asked to pay little attention to the Sol- dieB, One of the "Lookee- -me-not- touching e-handle- -bars" corres- pondents spent two columns worth of cable tolls the other day explain ing how he got the Sahara out of hls hair. You could hear my heart pound fin the next rooml
 Anybody who made a practice Of bollerine 'mlsquoted' would have StenogS take down all his drivel thereafter He'd find out!
 Without being inconsistent, the gazette would surprise every now and then with a change of pace , Most readers know without looking what the sheets stand is going to be on an Issue so they don't look, It makes paper better If 1t can pop an eye.
 Tne first casualty would be the Letters from Readers" dept. First, because too many people think they're phony, suspecting the edi- tors write them. Secondly, be- :ause such communications shouldn't be dcpartmentalized, If they make sense, they should be played up--otherwise wickered. Thirdly because % per cent of them are per- Sonal bellyaches.
 Inc paper would strive for a local flavor. with lots of yarns printed in the slanguage of the people 1t dealt with. With . Runyonesque twist to the Lindy crowd, Q Woollcott touch to murder, etc. That must have been the policy of the old Morning Sun,
 This daily would never go in for 'symposlums" (symposiaO, It's q familiar trick to query biggies from timc to time on how they stand on something. The reason these sym oodums arc worthless is that any good reporter can pack them the way he, or his sheet, wants them, lust by calling up the gabbier pace -grabbers and telling them: You want to say this, don't you7" They always do.
 There would Dc no ghosted pieces, Because (o) they're invariably dull md (b) it's unfair to honest by- InGrs. A reporter works hard win the right to sign his pieces, md why should the paper belittle lis standing by gifting by-lines to noyIe stars and pall-playerS who