Evening star., 1943-10-22


mad, weird civilian habits, have
little or no place in Army life.
The army gives recruit a bed,
sure, but if you could ever get the
Army alone in a corner, look it
straight in the eye, and ask it why
lit issued beds to soldiers, honesty
would force the Army to admit that
it wasn't primarily for sleeping pur-
poses. The Army gave me a bed,
but would swap it right now for a
chocolate matted milk or a cap that
fits, because I could get lot more
use out of either of those commodi-
ties than do out of my bed.
Many Hours of Sleep.
Theoretically, the Army gives you
as many hours to sleep as you ever
get as a civilian. But, boy, what it
gives you with one hand it takes
away with the other. A soldier can
go to bed as early as 7:3O if he
wants to, but if he can go to sleep
with the racket that is going on
around him, he'd be a sucker not
to get up and go collect his insur-
ance, because he's dead.
Take my own hut, for example.
two hunks from me is a man whose
family gave him a cornet when he
left for camp, and he is learning to
play it. He starts practicing at $50
and continues until the lights 20 out
at $50. The man has little or no
talent as cornet player. I'm bet
ting even money that five years from
now he won't be able to substitute
for a seal in circus playing MY
Country 'Tis of Thee"
At least six Of the youngsters in
my hut are jitterbug enthusiasts.
So they hum and sing and jitterbug
until bed-check time, which is 1880.
Two guys snore, not counting myself.
Another fellow writes letters all
night with what must be a chisel
and a hammer. That fountain pen
Of his makes SO much noise that
everyone in the hut can tell what
he's writing.
At 4 in the morning the men in
the hut who have drawn KIP detail
are reused by the guard. Do you
1 think he Sneaks in in carpet slippers
and nudges the KIP boys? Hell, no.
He walks in on hobnailed boots,
after carefully slamming the door,
/ Of course. turns on the lights and
/ bellows for his man. This is to get
one man up out Of 20. The guard
is usually lonesome by this time Of
the morning, so he hangs around
and talks with the KIP victim while
he makes up his bed.
The 1880 Bed Check.
Oh. forgot something The bed
check is at 1880. The bed check is
made by the noncom in charge OF
quarters for the purpose of seeing
that all men in the company are
accounted for. You've heard of dawn
comm up like thunder out of
China across the bay? Well, Kip
lings dawn is mouse with spats on
compared to the noncom in charge
Iof quarters making the bed check.
He, too, carefully slams the door
when he comes in. To keep HIM
from disturbing sleeping soldiers by
turning on the lights the Army has
equipped him with a portable anti
aircraft searchhght battery. He
leans over you and turns this search
light on your face. The effect is the
same as looking into the headlights
Of a locomotive. II this doesn't wake
You up you'd better start studying
Braille. ,.
AS for sitting down, it isn't even
worth writing about because you just
don't. Where the benches are you
are not allowed to sit Where you
are allowed to sit there are no
benches. Now I know where the
phrase The Standing Army" cam.
| from
A colored top kick OF a colored
regiment here was dissatisfied with
the speed with which the men in
his company responded when he
blew his whistle. So he had this to
tell them: Listen, you soldiers, you.
IL
to see huge, impregnable cloud OF
dust come rolling out dem bar
racks-and when dat dust clears
I wants to see three rows of statues"
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