Evening star., 1943-04-21

turned from Manila. Neither does
1t Fundamentally embrace men,
whose high school and college re-
port cards read like symphony In
F Minor.
But the war has changed oxford
bit. The university Is now open
ing it's doors to the likes of me for
series of lectures by removed au-
thorities on such subjects as India,
the British government, Literature.
Latin America and Economics, and
am down here trying to get in.
There is long waiting list, because
many Americans, as well as Poles,
Czechs, Canadians and Australians,
have taken advantage Of this op-
portunity not only to add to their
own knowledge but to stroll about
the ancient buildings, classrooms
and quads.
Not Yet Accepted.
haven't been accepted yet. but
Just the thought of becoming an
Oxford undergraduate has taken 10
years off my age, changed my &C.
cent and altered my postwar PLAN
ming. If make 1t, even my closest
friends won't know me when I
get home. When the subject Of
education pops up in conversation
I'll just wait for the proper time
and then say, Those dear, dear, old
days at Oxford I'll never forget
them" Or, "If I were at oxford
now I'd just about be having tea
with old Blatz-Blatz in my digs"
Then I'll be good for half an hour
on how I nearly won my blue at
darts, what fun 1t was to hop on
bike and tour London on my spring
wac" and how I miss punting on
the Thames when the nightingales
are blooming and the iris Is in full
cry at midnight and how carved
my initials on wall right along
side the initials Of Keats. Shelley.
Ben Johnson, Samuel Pepys. Prince
Albert, Lord Bull Durham, Duke
Spud and Lord Chesterfield.
won't tell my listeners that was
at Oxford for Just one week. that I
was in and out Of the place In seven
days fat. That's the length OF the
course. You come in on Monday and
are graduated" on the following
Saturday. That's necessary In order
to make room for another class. But
If you think I'll mention that part
Of 1t, you're crazy.
Rank Means Nothing.
By working overtime and by max
ing every second count, I figure T
can pick UP enough Oxford lore and
| Oxford accent IN week TO fool q lot
OF people. 1t can be done because
already have met American
graduates" Of the Oxford courses
and some OF them talk as II they
had been born in the basement OF
Balliol College with don for q
father.
The "graduates~ are pa1vetes, colo
nels and Army nurses. Rank means
nothing. G-Joes are az welcome as
men with stars on their shoulders
and they all live as students and
abide by the regular university rules.
The gates close at II pm. and any
one coming in between ii and mid
night must pay a shilling fine. Como
In after midnight and 1t costs two
shilling sixpence. I was sorry to
hear about this regulation because
while the tuition Is free, my fines are
liable to run into tremendous sum.
If any American university ever
adopts such a regulation It will auto
maticaIy become the richest insti-
tuition In the world.
But I must stop now and 60 get
my freshman cap and blazer. If you
don't think I'll look funny tn a
freshman cap, then you haven't seen
me in the past 10 or Is years. A
freshman cap is about as suitable
with my face and figure as a bouquet
Of orchids would be on the bosom
OF Missouri mule.
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