davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-03-18
Portrait of Man
Thinking

M Congress is something new
and unpatrlotic.
One Of the Americans who
made a speciality land a good
living) out of jabbing Congress
was Will Rogers.
And now Congress has a statue
OF him in the Capitol.
In recent issues Readers
Digest carried note IN big,
black type:
Help defeat Hitler by calling
him Schickelgruber."
But when der fuehrer is men
toned in the Digest he is called
Hitler.
Hollywood is worried about an
actor shortage.
Walt Disney seems TO be doing
all right without any.
II stars want a dose Of anti
conceit, they should see the
many empty seats in neighbor-
hood theaters since bingo's been
banned.
Wonder If Cong. Clare Luce is
brave enough 10 get up in the
House and insert into the Record
the local listening posts report
which proves that week
before that Kansas congressman
attacked the Roosevelt boys the
same theme was used over the
NaZl radio.
lie WAS "A leading announcer
H on a local program which
says
do YOU need money:
drop into any OF our braPchD
offices, and with a friendly pat
on the shoulder you get the
money.
mo questions asked.
mo endorsements needed.
Service with SMILE"
He announced that CONNER
cial for so many years he knew
II by heart
Never used a script
Could reel off its branch Of
fees without a fluff. too
Suddenly he was let out.
After tough struggle he
learned most radio stations had
only onc-Wdy exits
He was broke and needed
coin
he CaIlODcd 10 The nearest
branch Of the firm he once an
nOunCcd for.
You guessed il.
Turned down
C1pyrEht Dy Daily Mirror Inc.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-03-18

Mr. CLIFTON l.. lord di-
WI rector of the Hall of Fame
and National Museum Of Base
ball at Cooperstown, y. Y. says
he was interested in my column
in which l referred 10 the Hall
OF Fame as this curious in
Stitution" and 10 its somewhat
dubious tradition, " and that he
encloses a booklet to show some
thing of what they are doing
TO make il ''curiouSer and
curiouSer."
My reference was somewhat
casual. but nov that Mr.. Lord
has reminded me of il. l re-
peat that the institution Is
curious i'm the sense IT is odd,
and odd in the sense it is droll,
i also Will repeat my state
ment about its somewhat dubl-
Gus tradition. because II is
founded on The tradition that
Maj Gen. Abner Doubleday. of
Civil War fame. invented the
present game of baseball in 1889,
which is indeed dubious.
I HAVE no objection 10 giving
Il credit TO the old general or
TO Cooperstown. either. for the
game. and in fact approve the
idea. but there is evidence that
baseball was played before 1899,
or at least a form Of the game
close enough 10 the present
game to establish a distinct re-
lation and that IN any event.
the whole thing came from an
American Indian pastime Of a
couple of centuries back.
However, T think the CooperS-
town Hall of Fame and Baseball
Museum are Of great value in
that they will give a fine his
torical background TO our ma
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-03-18
The OnIooker
Bv Henry McLemOrG

Woolton either in cfigy or in tho
flesh and Storning the doors 81
No 10 Downing street demand
inc that Churchill not allow such
a horror To be- folsied on 4 people
who already had suffered blood.
sweat and tears
But there were no such up-
riSlngS and I knew then that the
war had been won and that no
matter what final desperate
effort Hitler might make be
would have no chance Of winning
when free people could look
a caullilowor pie IN the eye and
accept % "a, part OF their daily
diet, rs means 10 final and
complete victory
They are unbcltabio'
No matter what evil devices
the Huns might unleash they
would be nothing 90 men and
women who are able 30 take
-cauLHnWer pie ia their STRIDE
and not crack under the strain.
I SPEAK this way Of caul-
flower PIE because ] have q
first hand know ledge Of H.
L. was served that very first
night AZ the restaurant where !
dircd
To a man raised on deep dish
peach apple, cherry, blueberry
and mincc meat pies, cauliflower
pie viii make hm rccoll as il
struck in the face by a gauntlet.
or who was cast away on. a
desert island with Just ham and
fish.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-03-18

Weep no more, uat ign nor
groaH,
Sorrow calls no time That's gone;
Violets piuckcd, the siccctcst ram
Makes not fresh, nor grolo again;
Trim thy locks, took checr5ully;
Fate's hid ends eyes cannot nc
Joys as UiHged dreams ~ fast;
Why shonid sadness longer iastA
Fletcher.
OHaving juStroceHed hep final
decree, "A subscriber states she
is suffering from a type of blues
known as the post divorce let
down"
(Shc asks for a poem that
might help 20 cheer her up.
Above is the only eRe- see can
think of right now EVD)
IT HAS been claimed that a
Il man does not do his best
dancing with his wife
Whether thtS-tS- So-thrS de-
partment is not prepared 10
state.
However, in a bandmaSterS'
dance contest, Harry James, the
winner, danced with film actress
Nan Wynn.
Most OF the other bandmaS-
tiers danced with their wives.
VINHE noted composer and en-
tertainer Joe Howard
stated the other night on the
radio that he saw the killing OF
Bob Ford at Cripple Creek.
Colo. I'm the Dineties,' writes
Gus Kerner.
"Nr. Howard has the time
right but not the place.
II saw the dead Bob Ford a
minute after he received his just
reward for numbering Jesse
James.
ut happened i'm 1892 in Creole,
Colo, i'm the Can-Can saloon,
owned and operated by Ford.
The famous Bat Masterson
and myself. hearing the shooting
from across the street, rushed
Into the Can-Can saloon and
saw Ford lying on the floor and
standing Rearby-~aS htigr
man named Kelly. who held a
smoking doubie-barrried shotgun
in his hand"
QUERIES from clients:
W Q-I am red-haired
Commenting on my literary
ambitions my boy friend said
there never had been a success
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-03-18
7 ONDON-Don't forget tn Q
II date of March -, 1913

I ONDON-Don't forget tn @
II date Of March -, 1919
Some time IN the future il Will
he proved 10 be the date on
which the Allied Nations won
the war.
Historians may ignore II FOR n
while IN preference 10 such dates
rs those marking the lifting OF
the siege of Stalingrad, the
evacuation from Dunkirk or
Pearl Harbor. but eventually
March -, 1943. will come into
lis own and will be celebrated
everywhere by citizens OF the
brave, new world created by the
likes OF Henry Wallace, Sir VII
liam Beverage and others who
welded nothing hotter in World
War II than a smoking fountain
pen or a 50-caliber dictaphone.
The significance of this date is
due to the fact that on II the
BRUSH ministry OF food was
able 10 INTRODUCING not get
shot by an irate publlc-the
cauliflower PIE
.n great advertisements In
1ndon newspapers the ministry
of food said
Look what's for dinner. \
piping hot, delicious rcaulifiO~er
pie"
4 s SOON as l saw this adyer-
"A tiScment ] started travelling
all over London expecting TO see
the citizens IN armed revolt.
burning Food Minister Lord
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-03-18
QUESTIONS, ANSWERS

This column recommended a
book called Mental Illness A
Guide for the Family by Edith
NJ. Stern and DR.. Samuel w.
Hamilton.
So many inquiries have come
I'm as TO where this book can be
obtained that they have entirely
overwhelmed our facilities for
reply.
In every caSc-wT1-c-re-we
recommend a book. We note the
name of its publisher.
In this case it is The Common
wealth Fund, 4l +. 57th, New
York City.
Inquiries addressed 10 A book
seller. a public library or 10 the
publisher Will result in obtain
ing a copy of the book.
O. D. c.: Does bleeding from
the rectum necessarily indicate
hemorrhoids ? Can this be cor
rected by diet?
Answer: There are many
causes of bleeding from the rec
tum. but hemorrhoidS are prob
ably the commoneSt cause.
Diet has no effect in Correc-
ton Of the condition.
~. w: I always have believed
that the use of boracic acid for
the eyes was beneficial.
Some one recently informed
me that the continued use OF
it would cause conjunctivitis.
Please let me- know If this is
true.
Answer: No, a. long as YOU
use a fresh solution every time.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-03-18

NIONDER why Rep. Lambert
w son. the Roosevelt boys
,rpooner. hasn't enlisted as a
oy Scout or anything?
What 's-a-matter, Pop?
Too old?
How old?
Macarthur 63. -
Tough about Lou Costellos
acute rheumatism.
IL might keep him in the ailing
dept for at least three months,
We hear.
Hmf. y. Durbin, who has
made about eight click pix in
row, now is seen IN a film
greeted with $3.50 notices. lead
ing one critic 10 wonder If she's
slipping.
Does he get PAID for that?
Now that Nazi agent Viereck
has been ordered tried twice
(once for each facet, wonder If
Senator LANCER still wants tax
payers 10 reimburse Viereck for
his expenses
Shrewd counsel by a famed
lawyer:
when you get into a spot and
you don't knew what Go do
don't do anything"
IT'S TOUGH to figure out one
Il gazette.
For four years it has attacked
FDR with every weapon II can
find
Yet when the President cele-
brated his 10th year in the
white House, II editorially
praised his accomplishments,
What a relief II was 10 sec
some one slap back al unfunny
comedians like that pill from
Kansas.
But howcum no colleague has
demanded an investigation Of
former Sec'y of War WoOdring,
who did the slapping back?
IF, DURING wartime. rationlng
makes sure that nobody
Arrives, why can't we have ra-
bning in peacetime
Have howl Some people
are yapplng about the appoint
-meHt eft federal Judge.
- 7ff1rv-t.iatfn- 4 Patah-lor
political debts etc
imagine politicians yelling
about patronage.
It's as much a part Of politics
as the ballot
Who remembers when people
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-03-18
LENTEN REDUCING DIET
Fridoy-760 Galleries
BREAKFAST

Three-quarterS cup oran { .
luce - 100 calorieS; l slice
whole-wheat toaSt-50 calorleS;
] teaspoon buttcr-50 calorles;
l cup coffee. no cream or sugar.
LUNCH
One egg in Il baked potato
$50 calories; = teaspoon butter
10 calorics; l cup tea, no
cream or Sugar-no calorieS,
glass milk-l00 calories.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-03-18
LUNCH
DINNER

Average helping baked, broIled
or boiled fish. no sauce-l9O
Galleries: ! cup green beanS-5O
calorieS: small serving apricot
whip-l00 caloTiCS.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-03-18

man wants things made easy
and pleasant for him--and one
human being To appreciate HIM"
On the editorial staff of
Toxic newspaper there IS
member of the American Legion.
He is an American born Jap
who was in the l.. s. Army in
World War I.
CHICAGO with 30 inches ot
~ rain annually is the rainlest
big town in the country.
New York is a close second
with As inches.
The Blue Bonnets race course
in Montreal. one of the worlds
finest, was built by Andrew
Shearer, the father OF Norma
Shearef,
A young woman OF Boston
writes twice a week asking why
! don't say more about Robert
Taylor.
Reminds ne a few years ago
I gave Mr.. Taylor a little rib
bling and was Immediately be-
sieged by many Of his admirers.
One feminine fan got me on
the phone and said;
Listen. you big overgrown
goof, stop picking on Robert
Taylor.
Don't you know he has what
every woman wants a man To
have:"
Asked 7. timidlY:
"And what's that ."
And the lady said:
"Charm, you dope, charm.
GuOLLYWOOD needs an ex-
IL citing woman" states a
contemporary commenting on
the fact the male stars are at
present drawing the most
money to the box office.
/ thought Hollywood had an
Exciting woman" in Marlene
Dietrich.
And how about Lucille Ball7
However. it is the box office
that tells the story.
Again L make the suggestion
that some film producer develop
vampire type OF star.
A streamlined Theda Bara.
Feminine theater patrons, who
are, in the majority, always en-
JOY seeing pictures in which
some clever woman makes a
chump out of man.
Copyright. 1913. by King Features
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-03-18
laIIIifiOWPr Pie
Goes 10 w ar

7 refused 70 order the dish but
my companion. a veteran Lon
doncr who had reached the point
where he could eat old slip
covers or fFicaSSecd handouts,
said he'd have some
The waiter served IL with the
same pride he would crepe
suletteN or lemon mcringue pie
and my companion dove into it.
with all the relish of a gour-
mand tasting humming bird
tongues under bell for the first
time
CURIOSITY finally oNercame
y me and ! said
let me have a nibblP."
The graciousncSS and speed
with which my companion com
Piled should have been enough
10 arouse my suspicious of the
goodness of caullfloWer pie, but
took Il fOTktul.
The best description Of cauli-
flower pie that ! can give and
the most damning evi d en- Q
against il is that cauhfiower pie
tastes exactly like cauliiiower
PIC.
You could he served a portion
OF II in the deepest jungle head
waters OF the Amazon al mid
night while wearing a blindfold
and you would know exactly
what II was.
1t could be nothing else but
Just what il is
You could serve II TO a savage
who never had heard of cauli-
flower and il is even money that
he would know exactly what
YOU were Furnishing him with.
IT Is very embarrassing 10 he
i caught in a crowded reStau-
rant with a mouthful OF cauli-
flower pie.
There is no escape.
One must grin and swallow il.
! did and as il wendell its in
terminahle way down my throat
] knew the true meaning for the
first time OF the saying:
There will always be an
England"
If the British propaganda
ministry has apy sense IT will
flood Germany the next time
the LancastcrS and Sterlings 60
over with pictures OF Britons
manfully swallowing cauliflower
pic
Such pictures would do much
more harm 10 Hun morale than
blockbuSterS.
II the English can take such
a dish. so can the other Allied
nations.
THEY must or else when the
time comes 20 gather round
the peace table for the formula
ton Of the world policy, Eng
land will hold the upper hand
President Roosevelt could
y boast OF what we did i'm the
~ Pacific Ocean and Stain of
what he did i'm Russia and
Chang Kai-Shck of what China
accomplished against the foe.
bat their claims would he rs
nothing when Churchill arose
and said
Gentlemen. England must
have the first and last say be
cause while We admit all the
magnificent things YOU did.
there must be no forgetting that
Englishmen ate cauliflOwer pie
as an aid to total victory against
the forces Of evil"
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-03-18
On Broadway
by Walter WincheII

Trade Mark Registered. Copyright 1919,
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-03-18

obvious.
The well-to-do preserve their
teeth because they can afford TO
consult their dentists regularly.
Those who can afford 10 con-
suit a dentist but neglect TO do
SO from carelessnesS or fear of
pain should be able TO read a
lesson out of these statistics.
With good dental clinics for
the men and women in service
and for workers in war indus
tries, the United States record
on teeth should improve during
the next decade.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-03-18
Good
Teeth

come has lost on the average 81
permanent teeth. while the per-
son in the low income brackets
has lost "a.
In the low income brackets
when the average person has
reached the age Of 81. he has
lost eight permanent teeth.
The person Mith-the-g good
financial status has not lost that
many until ne is 81.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-03-18

QUERIES from clients:
W Q-I am red-haired
Commenting on my literary
ambitions my boy friend said
there never had been a success
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-03-18
by L. v. Durling

DISTRIBUTES BY Kine Features synd., Inc.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1943-03-18

TNiE well-to-do are just AS Sus-
L ceptible TO carries and other
diseases which result in the loss
OF teeth as those IN low income
brackets, perhaps more so.
lesson would seem TO be
The Key West citizen. [volume] (Key West, Fla.) 1879-current, 1943-07-16
DOG TAKES TRIP

MILWAUKEE. Wis.-Seeing a
movement IN recently arrived
carload of potatoes. commission
firms truck driver took second
look and discovered a frightened
fox terrier The dog had apparent
~ made the nlne-day trip from
Phoenix. Arizona. and appeared
none the worse for his experience.
The Key West citizen. [volume] (Key West, Fla.) 1879-current, 1943-07-16
LEWIS A. MILLER TO
BE SPEAKER AT HOTEL
ASSOCIATION SESSION

Lewis A Miller, assistant di-
rector. War Manpower Commits
sion. of Miami. will be the speak
cr at the Key West Hotel Asso-
citation meeting. which is tn BE-
held at the Silver Palm Hotel.
The Association recently made
application to the VINO for a
declaration that the hotel industry
IN Kew West is eligible To be des-
ignated locally needed"
Immediately following the ad-
dress. Mr.. Miller will answer
questions in conjunction with the
Forum. which is always a feature
of the hotel meetings
The Question Box will b,-
landed as a Quiz Program" and
each hotelier will participate i'm
answering several of the 100 qucs-
The Key West citizen. [volume] (Key West, Fla.) 1879-current, 1943-07-16

fis hsok Is one Of the mos
h.aufiful ever written about Flor
sia y reveals an intimate knowl
eege II The subject tina, Few hsv'
t~~n ahls "a Crap and put IL
uftnt The hsncs1czi facts revea
ssrne intensely interesting detail
mat sere all bat forgotten unit
he pasnstskingly dug them up
Amoug these arr the story of how
faius Beach g0i IT. name: how the
inwu - juno became the county
seaf ui Dadc-- y hich at that time
wss iaf.< than the state of Mas
sschuset,s ho~ an ambitious pro-
muleg established the Celestial
Nailfnea narrow gauge line
tnai ceuneCted ~ith the Florida
Easi Coas, al Us Titusyille iermi-
mas ana ran a. far souh as the
lead 81 lake worth. how the
~r~ck II Spanish wine ship
gauscd hundreds OF wine-filled
tssks "a wash ashore to the delight
and near disaster of the commu-
nlig
Amusing highlights tell of the
snaaIt Yankee who was travelling
T. Miami bot 60 safeguard his
ss.oney pat ten one hundred dol
- balls IN an envelope and frade
the Barefoot Mailman" respon-
slbls Tor there was constant dan
geT Of robbery from beachcomb-
rrs and brigands along the. peril
ous route Another incident was
the mailing of a large string of
coconuts. each bearing a stamp.
Ahich the postman was forced to
carry 10 satisfy the spite of an
enemy
Both Palm Beach and Mani at
that time were but tiny villages
Nlih = population of around 100.
t.li even then some folks grum-
blcd about u being too crowded
and objected TO a growing influx
"a ~furrlners" who were getting
- thick . fellow hardly had room
Ia spit
There xss little IN the way Of
pleasure OF amusement. and hard
&ork with small pay was the or
aer Of the day. but the people
were for the most part honest.
God fearing and clean. They
shared each others burdens. gave
thanks for their blessings and
acre stsunchly loyal TO their COM
.Iaunity. their State and their Ma
tion.
You will find il refreshing 10
forget the war and turmoil of the
present day and find occasion for
cncwed faith and courage be-
tween the covers OF this enthrall-
ma story BY all means read The
Barefoot Mailman"
The Key West citizen. [volume] (Key West, Fla.) 1879-current, 1943-07-16
TOO LATE TO
CLASSIFY


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49, m#M M ma nH
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$50 HN 80 fhf pres
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The Key West citizen. [volume] (Key West, Fla.) 1879-current, 1943-07-16
LEARNED his LESSON
GRkAr FAI.ls. Mon,

GREAT FALLS. Mont The
uesf tlme Charles r Rice will
knpS batter III recently Jokingly
aiiFfri his tNo grsndsons. / and
l1 tive cents q dozen for al the
p.'taia taIgs they could pick from
hls sfusil potato patch The boys
f.ass hsfn seriously. went 10 work
afst th4i evening confronted
0fanhp~ nth 500 bugs and a
h.il ias 50 Is Grandpa paid off.
ts4f promptly called off me deal
Gees - Motors producing arms
- esfe q $40 0o0.s00 a day
The Key West citizen. [volume] (Key West, Fla.) 1879-current, 1943-07-16
FORECAST
Labor Saving

oh. John, vxc.1lia. t
young mother happil, ,u. n.u
can walk
Good for hlm," rriuue 81
father Now ne can walk 'H
with himself al night
The Key West citizen. [volume] (Key West, Fla.) 1879-current, 1943-07-16
TEMPERATURES

Temperature data for the "a
hours ending $50 q. m. July is.
1913. a. reported by the u. S.
Weather Bureau:
The Key West citizen. [volume] (Key West, Fla.) 1879-current, 1943-07-16

tIons. which have already been
submitted To- the officers of the
local organization by operators of
81 hotels.
Charles NJ Sslas. president. will
preside at the meeting IN which
hc Will hear reports from the
various committees. including
that IF Membership Chairman.
Mrs. Hugh Williams. ard Mrs. SUI
zannc Staley
Miss Nancy Johnson will be
hostess
The Key West citizen. [volume] (Key West, Fla.) 1879-current, 1943-07-16

L. S. ends fiscal y,ar 4t $50
OOO. 100000 spent
The daily monitor leader. [volume] (Mount Clemens, Mich.) 1942-19??, 1943-06-04
Harry CraysOn 5
ScOrehOard u
Good Curve and Fast Ball
Make RUDE Melton Star
Of Baseball
By HARRY GRANSO\
NFA Sports Editor

YORK June - APPLY named Reuben Melton has CAV
that only from walking in the mow freshly turned n
the pillow heavy which pulls
the blade o North Carolina farm and
It's not that Franklin Melton isn't to rapid
" He experiences difficulty pounds spread
over his tremendous The pitcher really
speed all his mighty right arm II IS wasted
VIII gets the vases that his feet
Melton temperament than Golden Guernsey
pitches deliberately from habit nerspeed with long
rubber digs in the bag throws
ball the signal Finally the pitch and what
pitch
in general equipment be Just re shy OF
perhaps re shy Of the sharpest break
closer 10 eNcelng IN oo'h De
partnnents He really has quick doWner
for FLINT Rhem physically mentally and
personality Remember the Rhm who kidnapped ON me
o for the Cardinals al hppes
Field the fall Of 1880
Roughly speaking about half fast
swift pitch Melton mas pronounced
thrown OF the velocity of his fast one
Batters can hardly tell his pitches
Hickey December paid the Phes s37 500 for Mel
for whom ne asked sooUoo as Cadha prop
erty three years
II was Melton LAIR, MacPhsi World Series
of 40 had Gerry Nugent draft
from the Cardinals Columbus
to get slsOOOO profit Lands heard
about Melton Philadelphia for three but
difficulties Johnny Allen and
Bill Cox of the Phles got $500 when Allen
o report
Meton's trouble has been control giant bea:
catching the II might have been silly
strategy Durocher pitch him twice four days tins
early but the b Boy Ill THIS spring missed
great Of the built for IT He should
be a whiz when he gets in shape
Melton shut out the Cardinals with five only
world champions would have scored
him trip Abby Gossop and Arkl Vaughan
missed play Only Red Bird Stan Musial who
doubled got far the last five rounds
the Brooks break with the Card
lead for to be faened at the expense OF
softer competition
Melton, diversified habod Crane is the star of
baseball