The Hardin tribune-herald. [volume] (Hardin, Mont.) 1925-1973, 1943-12-02
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THE BETTER MOUSETRAP

THE BETTER MOUSETRAP
IA man decides to build a bet.
ter mousetrap.
2-He tries to interest somebody
with capital. The first prospect lis
tens with interest up to a point
where he is convinced he would dou-
BILE his money. This scares him
out.
3-The inventor sees another capt.
talist. He almost gets him with the
argument that if they are careful
they can avoid quantity production.
4-Spurned again. he contacts a
group of financiers who have been
very successful at losing money.
They think the mousetrap will be a
flop and decide to back it.
5-They ask him how much money
he needs. He says about 500. 900.
They refuse to go in unless he will
take a million. He reluctantly &C.
cepts.
Gle needs only wood. wire and
a few holes. Owing to a wood short
age he is asked to use plastics. He
nearly gets some wire, but priori-
ties set in and he is told to use soy
beans.
HE can still use holes for holes.
he thinks. But he is now stymied
by an 6PA decision to ration holes.
He a only get three to a trap.
s-He phones his hackers that
there are SO many obstacles con-
fronting him that they will all lose
money. and he suggests dropping
the project. They bring suit to
make him 60 ahead.
9-He turns out his first trap.
1t costs $3.50. AS it has to sell for
30 cents retail it looks bad. He
notifies his hackers. They are quite
pleased but suggest he turn out
traps at a cost Of $40 each and sell
them two for a quarter. They are
not taking any chances on more sur
tax burdens.
10-The Better Mousetrap man
asks for a factory in Elmira, N. Y,
that can be bought for about $40, 900.
His hackers buy him four in Detroit
at a cost of ST 500. 900 with govern
ment aid.
lille gets into production but
has to suspend work to answer fed
eral questionnaires and fill out new
tax forms.
12-After a long struggle he re-
sumes operations. The Mousetrap
Makers Union calls a strike de-
manding fewer holes in the mouse
traps. He offers to cut the holes to
one. The WRLB is called in and
rules that one hole is too many IN
der the Wagner Act.
13-He asks the board how mice
can get into such a trap. 1t says:
They can't get in under Roosevelt:
let 'em wait until Willkie is elected"
14-After long negotiations he is
allowed to put one hole into each
trap except on Saturdays and Sum-
days.
l5-Ultimately he is all set for
business except for a radio theme
song. He listens to 400 goufy jim.
giles. He picks n sufficiently silly.
i6-He discovers that the lyric
says the product contains the essen
tio1 vii WING &c rooIa fr1r, e,u,
kissed leaves and puts iron in the
blood.
l7-He says vitamins ard iron do
not appeal to mice. His advertising
man tells him that radio results
prove him wrong.
l8-Just when he seems out OF the
woods OPA rations cheese. 1t sug-
gests that traps be baited with pig
tails and entities.
l9-The Mousetrap Workers Union
now walks out in sympathy with a
strike Of Rat Poison Mixers. The
Wal Relations Labor board tells him
unless he gives in inside of ten days
the government will seize his plant.
20-He now goes nuts and insists
he eve designed a mousetrap or
was in business for himself for a
single hour. He swears he is a col
lege professor.
2l-This lands him a job in Wash
ington as a counsel to business men.
Manufacturing succeeds like a
deficit, plenty Of confusion and a
story that you were once on a col.
lege faculty.
Secretary Morgenthau is giving up
his dairy farm after 20 years. We
understand he finds 1t hard to make
q profit these days because Of the
governments financial policies.
Probably Mr.. Morgenthau had an
extra difficult time trying to make
both ends meet in the milk business.
Every time he tried to milk a COW
he would have trouble trying to be-
gin at Section l, Paragraph A, or
skip to Item 4, Paragraph d.
-
And it's tough figuring out q sur.
tax while sitting on a milkstool with