Evening star., 1943-03-31

me- hou thI.
Henry p. McLemore. phen nom non
works because I was drummed out
OF engineering school larson or
some such silly CHARGE, before I
had mastered anything more COM
phcated than the machinery Of
a wheelbarrow,x but. it works. True
1t makes an automobile look like
nothing else on earth, sound like
nothing else on earth and ride and
smell like nothing else on earth.
But it gets you there and occa-
sionally gets you back.
The gas is stored on top OF the
car in bag about 10 times the size
OF big mattress, which sways from
side to side like a playful blimp.
The bag Is housed in a contrap-
ton resembling low garden fence
and the story here Is that a tipsy
American on first sighting one
rushed to the police and reported
a mailman was driving through the
streets with hippopotamus cages
atop his car. The gas bag makes
the car fairly unmanageable, es.
pecially on windy day and a.
driver must take into considera-
ton the same things as does an
airplane pilot, namely, wind drift
and air currents. Let him become
careless for few moments and tha
car Will be driven far of It's course,
Car May Blow Up.
Ihere also is possibility Of hav-
ing the car blow up. When I asked
my driver about the adwsability Of
smoking he said, "Okay. Go right
ahead. Smoke yourself to death"
l found out later that he meant It
literally and that one vagrant snerk
can send passenger to his reward
with steering wheel In one hand
ana rear vision mirror In the
other.
The gas is fed to the motor bv
means OF pipe, which, am GER
tain, leads through the back seat
and which, to Judge by the amount
OF gas that escapes. Is a pipe that
has more holes in it than a mat,ra
piccolo. The reaction to this eas
varies with the person. A colonel
IN the engineers told me that II
gave him the sensation of pokine his
mead In an oven and caused him tn
feel like a beef roast or a. leg of
lamb and he always expected the
or1Ver to turn around and poke a
FORK In him to see If he were done
enough.
speaking for myself, shifting the
gas gave me warm, pleasant glow
and l dreamed I was in the chair
OF my favorite dentist. even for
got myself so far as to start pulling
one OF my own teeth. Fortunately.
the colonel had not quite become a
leg OF lamb at the time and pre-
vented me from completing the ex-
traction.
Filling Good for Is Miles.
There is a meter on the car. but
1t Is not used by veteran drivers If
coal gas taxis. They can tell to a
penny how far they have driven q
passenger by the way he acts when
he tries to alight. If he can get
out without stumbling 1t means a
short, cheap trip. If he staggers
like man tapped on the back of
the head with hammer and hangs
on lamppost. the cost is USUALLY
shlllngs. If a passenger has to be
reused from slumber and lifted ont
OF the car, it means a long ride
and the charge is 10 shillines or
more.
one filling of gas costs 60 cents
ana Will run the car between Is and
zo miles. There is no gas gauge so
the driver has to stop the car every
once IN while to gaze at the balloon
and pat 1t, to see how the supp]v
is holding out.
1t is doubtful If any city In the
world right now has as many odd
means OF transportation as Belfast.
lhere is no certainty what you will
get when you call for a taxi. The
frst time I asked the hotel doorman
TO get me cab, up drove a smart
cart pulled by q fat donkev and
driven by the original Pat OF ths
Pat and Mike stories. It Is not I'm.
common to see combination horse-
automobile taxi with the horse pull.
ing the car and the driver HOLDING
the reins sitting astride the hood
There are scores OF the famed Irish
jaunting carts.
Any form Of eonveyance Ia scarcs
after nightfal but the natives think
nothing Of walking five miles from
home to go to the pictures. Tn.
American soldier has learned to data
girls who live fairly close to town or
to make sure she gets the last tram
home.
Distributed By McNaus,s synd,e.t. n.