The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1943-12-10
THE TwITCHELL CHILD
DISARMAMENT PLAN

the interest OF national safety" he
declared. It was quite startling until
Mr.. Twitchell explained that k
would apply TO children only.
-
II am for the disarmament Of kid
dies under the age Of eight" he
said. 1.-THE infants are swarming
all over the premises heeled to the
teeth, blood In their eyes and dis
posed to give and take no quarter.
Little Willie, aged seven, sleeps
with a tomny-gun, comes to break
fast with O mortar and spends all
his spare time doing commando
work. Jackie, aged Ave, attends him
as sort Of armed bodyguard. Jerry,
aged three, toddles around the house
dragging cannon, couple Of tanks
and an airplane carrier. Wallie,
aged one and a half, has big force
Of toy soldiers, a dozen airplanes
and a hangar In his crib.
"There amt toy In the home
that doesn't represent carnage.
Hardly an hour passes that mother
doesn't find the kids In the course
of remodeling chair or vacuum
cleaner into landing barge for am
phibious operations.
"The infants seem to be concen-
trating their attack on the skies, but
amphibious stuff comes next. They
do all kinds of ground and UNDER
seas fighting, too; heavy rocks
through the windows now and then
for purposes of realism. a.
"What are the nicknames of little
children today, Red Skinny and
'Huck'? Not at all. They are called
Butch The Gaffer,' Two Gum or
'Kayo! n ssc
"Every visitor is a Jap or Nazi.
The minister called yesterday and
| the kids decided he was an enemy
airplane carrier and stalked him dur
ing his entire visit. The maid has
to be on, the alert every minute or
she will be set upon as hostile terri
tory. '@
''The little dears insist they are
only playing, but you can tell from
the hard CLINT in their eyes that they
would love to have mother say: Now
If you are good and eat your spinach
you can have real rifle and 60 out
and shoot up Mr.. Burns next door
this afternoon or I want you to be
quiet for an hour and then I'll let
you set fire to the Woolson house and
throw Mr.. and Mrs. Woolson into a
stockade.' heard kid ask, Nom
mer, can / have a roll of barbed
wire?' yesterday"
RUSSIAN WAR SONG
We're smashing through the Nazi
lines,
Our forward drive Is unabated;
It isn't much, but pretty good
For people once annihilatedl
We've got the Heinies on the run
They now know better how we're
gated;
We'd even hit 'em harder IL
We hadn't been annihilated.
We knock 'em down and drag 'em
out
To prove 'em very overrated;
We'd even land q kayo but
We all are so annihilated.
We sock 'em here, we sock 'em
there
They flee with signs that read "No
Waiting"--
It's wonderful how helpful IL
A little stiff annihilating.
We've got 'en groggy on their feet
Each day we land another blow
A souvenir from just a state
That "will not rise again" you
( know.
We send 'em Keeling in reverse
A craven folk knocked on our
earsl
Who never will be any good
For ESQ he sadly 1000 yearsi
We chase the Nazis toward the
Rhine
We force their legions to rout:
Not bad considering how we
Were two long years ago knocked
out.
The U. S. Controller General says
that all sorts of absurd overcharges
were okayed by the war department
in dealing with contractors. In one
case a bill for valet service for q
factory employee was approved.
This may have been due to q too
literal Interpretation Of the state
ment that war Is pressing business.
Miners Lunch
loot! Tootl The whistles blowing.
So on the double quick
To snatch little luncheon
And-zip-back to your pickl