Evening star., 1943-12-29
Dorothy
DixSayS

Dear Miss Dix: Is 1t possible for
a fellow to love a girl too much to
marry her? I am 20 and very much
In love with q marine who is a.
He says he loves me and has given
me an engagement ring, and he
writes to me every day expressing
his devotion, but every letter ends
with something like this: 1T would
be so wonderful if I could marry
you, but I love you too much to
do it," or II wish I felt as though
marrying you would be the right
thing to do, but love you too much
to do It,"
Can you think Of any reason for
his taking this attitude In the mat
ter when ne knows how much love
him and how much want to marry
him and that I am willing to take
all the risks and hazards OF a war
marriage?-M. c. D.
AnsWer-The only explanation
that can suggest is that the young
man Is either a great lover, or not
in love with you at all. He may be
one Of the exceptional men who
put the happiness Of the woman
he loves before his own rather than
force her to endure the hardships
of a marriage that he cannot ade-
quately finance. Or 1t may be that
he is trying to make you break your
engagement by a pretense Of Quix-
otic devotion that will make mar
riage so indefinite that you will get
tired waiting and call 1t of.
You alone can Judge which one
of these two theories Is the most
plausible. But, at any rate, it Is a
new and interesting line for man
to take in love affair, for most of
them never stop to think what sort
of proposition they are offering a
girl when they pop the question.
They consider that just to be mar
ried to them Is all that any girl
could ask.
Perhaps your fiance is one Of the
men who is in love with love and
enjoys the romance and adventure
of courtship, but who does not want
to tie himself down by marriage
There are plenty Of men like that.
They want to keep their personal
liberty and to roam around in the
rosebud garden Of girls, without
taking upon themselves the support
OF family.
They like to be free to go and
come without having to give an
account Of their movements, or lis
ten to a curtain lecture, and to be
able to spend their money upon
themselves, instead of having little
Johnny's adenoids out and Mamie's
teeth Strengthened. Such man
might we'll make II love you too
we'll to marry you" an alibi for side
stepping the altar.
On the other hand a poor boy,
who had a mother and little BROTH
ers and sisters dependent upon him,
might well love a girl too much to
ask her to share with him the hard
lot that would be all he had to offer
her. He has seen his mother made
old before her time, slaving over
the washtub and the cooking stove
trying to keep her family decently
clothed and fed. He has seen her
shabby when he knew she craved
beautiful clothes. He has known
the heart-breaking anxiety that a
woman endures who is never sure
of a roof over her head, or knows
where the next meal is coming from
And he cannot bear to think of the
pretty, high-spirited girl he is in
love with being broken on the cruel
wheel of poverty.
So when he tells a girl that he
loves her too well to marry her
he is doing as fine and knightly a
thing as any hero of romance who
laid down his life for his Lady Love
My guess is that your sweetheart
belongs to this latter class. If he
does, he is worth waiting for. But
don't force him to marry you unit
he is ready. If you do, you will just
add to his burdens.