Evening star., 1943-04-09
INSTALLMENT XVII,

INSTALLMENT XVII.
Maybe I spoke too soon when !
denied the sissiness charges by mag
azine writers. 1t must be admitted
after yesterdays horrible disclosure
that some termite is boring from
within us. Some force is sapping
the rugged manliness of Battery A.
Here's what happened at supper
yesterday evening: First of all, when
we neared the end of the chow line,
we found one of the cooks there,
scooping ice cream out of can
We are meat-and-potato men in
Battery A, and generally we do not
take to such frilly fanciness as ice
cream, although we occasionally
humor the mess sergeant by letting
him buy it in ready-cut blocks
This time we found he had gone
too far. Our leniency and intoler-
ance in letting him buy ice cream
had gone to his head. Now he was
making 1t at home-in the respect
able kitchen of Battery A! Home
made pineapple ice cream!
didn't say anything about it.
thought that perhaps he was merely
going through his second childhood,
and second childhood is something
that every mess sergeant must be
permitted to go through once. Real
izing this, we boys hadn't said any
thing when our mess sergeant had
air. conditioning fans put in the
kitchen windows to make namby-
pambies of the cooks and kaypees.
We hadn't said anything when he
started keeping jam on the table at
all meals.
We're going to have to say some
thing now. The man is going abso-
lutely mad. Not content with
springing homemade ice cream on
us, he had to heap more Goals on
the fire of our impatience at the
same meal.
A Terrible Future.
There on each table in our mess
hall. brazenly placed in the very
center, was a shiny container filled
with paper napkins!
Until something is done about the
thing, this mess sergeant will go
hog wild At his present rate, we'll
find toothpicks on the table next
week, salad forks the week after that,
finger bowls before November.
This will 60 on indefinitely until
his brain is completely destroyed by
this madness. Then he'll start
planning to surprise us with wait
resses dressed in field artillery red.
When this happens, shall try to
volunteer for the parachute troops.
No matter how honey they make
the service clubs. no matter how
carefully they plan the movie pro-
grams, no matter how hard they
work on athletic schedules, they'll
never be able to compete with SOL
dier's favorite evening recreation
sitting on the back steps shooting
the breeze.
BY this time, the evening bull ses-
Eons have worn themselves into a
very definite routine. If Corpl. Us
sery is there, he lectures on how he'd
run the Army; if it's Pvt. Terence
Clarkin, he tells how he used to di-
rect the intricate traffic affairs OF
Radio City Music Hall when he was
assistant chief doorman there. Un-
less Pvt. Henri Gelders is stopped
he'll start violent argument among
the butchers over how to cut steak
McGlauflin will talk for hours
about the beauties of the lakes 1r
Minnesota. Graftenstein will deliver
discourses on how he would run the
Wisconsin football team; Pappas
about Alabama's Crimson Tide. Ma.
ciejewski will sermonize on the utter
baseness and treachery Of woman
hood.
Quick Witted Private.
Lately, however, the sessions have
come more and more under the sway
OF Dt. Merton Hulce, a mad Irish
lad from Muskegon. Mich. Pvt. Hulct
apparently didn't stop at kissing th'
Blarney Stone. He must have stoler
half Of it to carry with him.
Hulce's chief topic of conversation
Is his mothers fabulous family, thl
Smiths, all Of whom seem to get en-
meshed in every war that come
along. His grandfather, who was {
captain in the Coast Guard at The
outbreak of the last war, was trans.
ferred to duty at guarding munition!
dumps and such for the duration o.
the war
According to Hulce, one OF tht
munitions guards with his grand.
fathers detail was approached late
one night by an officer of the guard
Haiti" shouted the sentry. and the
of{icer halted advance to be recog-
.nized" said the sentry, and the of
ficer advanced. The sentry forgot tt
order halt" again and the Officer
came within foot of him. Suddenly
the officer reached out and snatchec
the rife from the guards hand.
This was an exceedingly uncom.
Portable position for the guard, es.
,pecially in that time of war. HI
might even have been sentenced tt
death. The officer stood there JUS
looking at the guard for fully min.
ute. What would you have done,
he asked in a terrible voice, "if ar
enemy had got your gun like that?'
me gudlu tIellpleu lor IHoInen
and recovered. Il would have
matched it back, sir" he said like
that" And the officer stood there
empty handed.
An Interesting Family.
Hulce's grandfather, who told thai
story, is now about 65, his grandson
says. He was asked to come back
into the Navy three months ago a!
a captain. Being Smith, he's back
With him in the armed forces today
are two of his sons and two of hi.
grandSonS.
u
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