Evening star., 1943-11-05

''f. McEVoy. Ing the meter"
Well, my guess is that he really
got the idea by watching his father
watch the meter-which wodld make
much more of an impression on him
for every time that flicker of pain
would go across his fathers fine
sensitive face the little boy would
say, Daddy, what made you Jump.
like that?" And his father could.
only point to the meter because his
father doesn't talk. (Of course he
can talk and only pretends that he
can't in self -defense-becaus If you
have a little boy and once he finds
out that you can talk, you wilt
spend the best hours of your life
answering questions that even the
OPA couldn't cook up)
Schoolbooks Outmoded.
Anyway, some OF us were saying
the other night how smart 1t was
of Harpo to take Junior taxi-rtding,
so at least one member in the
family could add besides Chico, who
turned agent And that gave me
the chance to talk about my favorite
subiect-which is how much more
I know about education than people
who are educated. And how, II I
had my way. I'd change everything
they do about school teaching
especially when it comes to teach.-
ing mathematics.
For instance, you can still find.
schoolbooks full of examples on how
to figure out the number Of rolls
Of wallpaper it will take to paper
a room-when everybody knows by;
the time the child of today grows
big enough to have room Of his.
own, the walls will be al glass or,
made out of plastic-which in turn
will be made out OF those little.
anchovie paste sandwiches they pass
around at cocktail parties for new
authors.
Wallpaper Problems.
Or take my generation-and who
hasn't! I spent the best hours Of
my oarefree boyhood days learning
how to figure the number Of rolls
OF wallpaper it would take to paper
a room-and when I grew up I
never found a paper hanger whose
figures agreed with mine.
Once I decided I would take no
more lip from them and hang my
own wallpaper-and that's when I
realized what was fundamentally
wrong with our system Of education.
In my school, children will be put
to work hanging wallpaper all over
the schoolroom-and after they have
hung it then they can figure 1t,
because, after all, It's the wallpaper
on the wall that counts-not the
wallpaper on the floor. on the lad
Ger, on the windows, on the other
children.
My schoolroom would be just like
home. Teacher would be mother
trying to figure out how many
points for the days shopping. She
must also add yesterdays bill to
the bill for today. The lesson would
be for all the little children to help
mother. Once they learned that,
they could all go home and help
their own mothers. In this way
parents would realize some return
on their school taxes.
Should Play the Horses.
But what happens now? Children
come home with problems like this:
II 1t takes eight nails to nail on a
horseshoe, and a horse has four
feet, and the first nail costs one
cent and the second nail twice that
and the third twice that, how much
would it cost to shoe the horse. A
fine way to educate children!
Mel would give them all a rae
ing form and let them learn to
figure parlays. Then let them all
chip in their pennies, call bookie
and place their bets. Imagine how
excited all the little darlings would
be about mathematics-and how in
terested-how eager to learn. Now
imagine how thrilled their fathers
would be! At last the little moppets
are learning something they can
really use later in life-and pop
can use tomorrow!
Fellow parents, I submit that
even Prof. John Dewey, the father
Iof progressive education, hasn't
made a better suggestion for teach
ing arithmetic.
distributed by McNaught Syndicate, Iuc)