Nogales international., 1943-11-19
Marty Loughman's
WEAK
Weekly Letter

Admiral and Skipper of the Heads
Charley Bauer, Santa Cruz Navy, |!
Retired and Retreaded.
Dear Charley:
So, you have sold out and you
think you wanta travel, huh? Well,
listen
I was in Sacramento, Calf, and
I wanted to come back to Nogales. |
Tried the Airlines, but no possible
chance there unless was Secretary
Knox, Wendell Willkie or Paulette
Goddard-none of which am.
So 1 tried the railroad.
Gimme ticket and lower to
Nogales, Arizona" sez.
do you have priority?" he
asks.
Priority? I don't want to buy
any tires or washing machines I
sez. "All I want is ticket and a
lower to Nogales.'
Listen, wise guy" he pipes, "I'll
give you a lower-I'll lower the
boom on you. Nobody gets ticket
here unless he's got priority-try
us tomorrow.
So the next day I went back to
another window. "Give me ticket
and lower to Nogales. I've got a
priority
"I'll say you've got a priority
you've also got poSteriority, as
well as lot of jelly on the sides,
he sez, "but you've got no ticket to
Nogales. Try us again tomorrow" "
So as am leaving his window I
espy large casket shaped wooden
box in the express baggage room.
It's addressed to Colonel Smith,
Tucson. Ariz. Well. you know
there is an old law on the books
that, when shipping persons re-
mains by train, said body must be
accompanied by another PERSONA
live one, of course-so go back to
the window
Give me two tickets to Tucson.
I am accompanying that body. My
name is John Smith"
"Oh, is that so? Well John
Smith. my 1ar:e is PocohontaS, and
that body you refer to happens to
be an ice box. and if you don't get
away from here I'll put you on ice,
and stick you in that box
Well, I'm pretty disgusted by
now, but just then one of the other
clerks called: "Mr. Loughnan. you
sure are lucky. I have two tickets
for you and the Mrs
"Gee, that's swell" I sez II
could kiss you for that. How
much?"
"a hundred and fifty dollars" he
sez.
thought it was little high, but
I'd had SO much trouble that I
didn't say anything. but shelled out
the money and he slipped me the
tickets.
I opened the envelope and found
1.-Two tickets for Chicago,
,tz, "risten. brother, you've
made mistake wanted to go to
Nogalee md you've given me tick
cts to Chicago"
r7e sez. There's gratitude Say,
listen Bub, every day all day long
7e've got people coming in here
,.-Eil1g-begging- tickets to Chi
ago. Here 7 give you not one, but
two-just because I am sick and
tired of looking at your fat puss.
Now will you take those tickets and
get the hell out of here and go to
Chicago, Noga1es or the other place.
Next please!''
So I went to the Superintendent
and explained.
He sez. well, that's all right.
Why don't you keep the tickets and
just get off at Tucson, and then
mail in the unused part of the
tickets. We will put it before our
Financial Department, and if they
act favorably we will have our Aud
itor mail you a check when he re-
turns"
That's fine I sez. Where IS
the auditor and when do you expect
him to return?"
Ties in South Africa and We ex-
pect him back on the same boat as
Eisenhower.
well, that does it for me-" sez'
I'm through
I knew should have walked any
how. So you try to take trip
but don't go beyond Tubac.
Best regards,
MARTY.