Evening star., 1943-02-01
By ], p. McEVOY,

BY J. p. McEvOY.
BY way OF introduction, I wish
to announce that after I have
written this article I am going
away and will leave no forwarding
address. The only hint I can give
you is that where am going there
will be no mothers and no faith
ers-for after this, mothers are
going to have very little use for
me and fathers are going to bs
too scared to take my part.
Now what do I mean when say
fathers make the best mothers2
At the beginning. mothers know
nothing about babies. They learn
at the baby's expense. If the first
baby survives. they use what they
have learned on the next one. BY
this process of trial and error,
mothers manage TO raise families.
If the family is large enough. it
raises itself.
A Hardy Breed.
And how have We survived this
terrifying process? Only because
babies are indestructible. Not only
can you bounce baby on your knee,
but you can practically bounce him
on the floor. II babies weren't so
| hardy, none OF us would be alive
today.
I can remember way back when
mothers nursed babies. Today
fathers fix their formulas. Right
at the beginning we have elimi-
mated mothers. And why do faith
ers have to fix formulas? Because
mothers can't add. Don't let all
that nonsense in the cooking books
fool you'll teaspoonsful Of this
and ga tablespoonful Of that"
Women pay no attention to it.
There is practically no woman
who can cook who can add one
and-a-half Of anything and two
| anda-third of anything else. They
have their own secret measure.
| ments. They call them dabs and
dashes and smidgins. Now that's
all right when you're cooking up
something for husband. He
doesn't know any different, and If
he does he can always take you
out to dinner. But those dabs and
| pinches and smidgins don't get by
when you are preparing the baby's
formula. 1t must come out ex-
actly even. That's where fathers
come in.
| Inherit Another Task.
At first mothers won't let anybody
change the precious baby. Ger
tainly not the father-the clumsy
brute. But this doesn't, last long.
From changing the baby, fathers
rapidly graduate into dressing the
child. Mothers dress the child in
It's Sunday best, but fathers dress
1t all week long. To be sure, faith
ers don't make the little garments,
but they could.
In fact. II the mother Is really
smartly dressed the chances arr
pretty good that some man de.
signed her outfit. Every woman
knows men are the best dressnakers
the best cooks, the best baby doc
tors and they know-but they won
admit it--that men make the best
mothers.
Now the child Is ready for school
He comes home with a black eve
Mother Is sorry. but dad Is sore
Mother says, You stay away from
that boy" Father says, GO out
and knock his block off, Mother
says, II don't want my boy to fight.
Father says, II don't. either. but
a. long as he is going to have to
Tight he might Just as well win a.
lose" -
Teach Girls, Too.
Mother says. That's the troubls
with this world; you men think
everything Is settled by fighting. '
Father says, I'm not trying to make
the world over, I'm Just trying to
survive in 1t. I want Willie to sur
v1ve. too. And, If he's going to sur.
vive he's going to have to take his
own part"
Boys should be removed from tho
influence of women at an earlv aga
I would say 6 months is even a 1T
tie late. Little girls should have men
teachers. too. Since girls must
know when they grow up how to
bemuse. confuse. wheedle, dazzle
and undermine the male, they can't
start learning too early.
Heaven knows they start early
enough at home working on their
fathers and the experience they
gain Is useful all their lives. Moth
ers supply the theory. but fathers
supply the practice and leave it
TO you which is the more valuable
distributed BY McNaughs Syndicate. Incl