Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1943-02-08

Swop-Hoppy
Solution
Nothing the Matter
With Girls Except
Distribution
BY ]. p. McEVOY.

| Distribution !
BY ]. p. McEVOY.
I got . letter the other day from
an irate citizen who asked melt
I had noticed that this country u
getting all cluttered up with girls
who have no boy friends. and the
Solomon Islands are all cluttersd
up with boys who have. no GIRL
friends-and what kind Of = New
Deal Is that? And II that bunch
in Washington didn't watch out
they'd lose the country in 1914 and
1t would serve them right.
And then he went on to say thaa
he wasn't ono Of those destructtV.
critics who 60 around picking Me
scabs OF old wounds, but he wss
= constructive cuss and he hadA
lot Of good suggestions to make.
But who could you make them to
these days7 Who? That's what
he wanted to know.
Well. chum. you got mo there. Y
don't think it would do you much
good to bother Donald Nelson about
1t because his job is production and.
obviously. We don't need any more
girls. And It isn't . rationing job
for the OPA because the law alloxs
= guy only one woman legally and
If Secretary Morsenthau doesn't
give US the chance to Ruml Is W
60, We won't be able to afford evsn
that one. I guess I'm As patriotic
as the next man and III share tn
ride and share the bus and shan
the butter and the canned dog food.
but there's . limit 81,
Swap for Solution. ~
So it isn't production o. rationinR
or sharing; the trouble obviously
Is faulty distribution. And it isn't
~ though We don't know what to
do. For months now we've been
shipping Germans back to Ger
many and exchanging them for
Americans over there-and doing =
similar swap with the Italians ana
Japanese-and all the while 1t his
never occurred to those brass hats
IN Washington to ship some Ameet
lean girls out to the Solomons and
exchange them for some Solomon
islanders who otherwise would
never know the dear delight Of
lodging taxis in . Broadway dim.
out or cruising to Catalina.
Yessir, faulty distribution IL the
big problem in the world today. Fot
example: Where Is our scrap from
In Japan. Where are the japanese
beetles7 Right here. What's bein9
done about IT. Has anybody tried
for instance, to make synthetic rub
Der out Of japanese beetles? Why
not7 Jap beetles are tough, elastic,
heat-proof, Observation-Disclosures the
supply Is inexhaustible. r
Any one Of my cherry trees would
produce enough GJapAnese beetles u
equip . jeep. II not rubber how
about . new plastic? One layer OF
beetles facing north - over THU
spread : layer of beetles facina
east-another layer facing SOUTH
another facing west-put these lay.
ers under . super-heated hydraulic
press-and what have you rot7
Damned II I know! -
An Edible Lawn.
But you can rec from this that
I've been doing some serious think.
ing. Somebody's got to. We can't
go on the way we've been GOING.
taking everything for sranted-or
just taking everything. We must
dare to blaze new trails. Next
spring al over this land people viii
be lighting dandelions. That energy
could and should be channeled into
the war effort.
But that isn't al. A lawn is only
lawn. Is it good to eat7 Not uns
less you're = rabbit-and yet food
will win the war. On the other hand
. lawn composed entirely Of dandse
lions Is not only = lovesome sights
with those yellow flowers waving
In the breeze. but you can eat Il
IS salad and drink 1t ~ vine-and
you don't have to NOV 1t. =
Next year let US dare TO hav6
nothing but dandelion lawns, thereIl
by conserving labor, metal. lubricatSs
ing oil and back liniment. a
Distributed By NcNausht Syndicate. mai