Evening star., 1943-01-26
McLemore-
Threads q Needle,
Stitches His Thumb
By HENRY McLEMORE.

bN hGNnI nttfAIuohf.
Nothing since the Battle of Mid
way has so bolstered our belief that
America is marching double time
down the road TO victroy as the
War Departments recent announce
ment that brass buttons and brass
insignia on the overcoats and
blouses of soldiers will give way to
nodded plastics.
The War Departments bulletin
concerning this decision explained
that the change-over would be ac-
compliShed by the soldiers them
selves: that armed with needles
and thread and instructions from
the Quartermaster Corps, the men
would cut off the brass buttons and
sew on the new plastic ones.
1t is our happy contention that
no army that wasn't pretty sure
of itself, did not feel that it held
the upper hand, would dare to as
sign its millions of fighters to the
task of removing and sewing on
tens of millions of buttons.
If our Army were hard pressed
1t would never issue any such
order as that. 1t would not give
It's men job that is certain to
occupy them for millions of man
hours, as we'll as expose them to
injury and drive many of them
TO the very edge of the line that
separates sanity from madness.
Button, Button, Etc.
The sewing on of buttons is q
woman's job. Some men are adept
at it, but they are as scarce as
Republicans in Mississippi. When
man was created he was not given
the muscles or the coordination
that are required for sewing. There
are few more pathetic sights than
that of man trying to thread
needle, for instance. No matter
how good his eyes are with gun,
no matter how perfectly he is able
to time his punches in fight, the
process of poking thread through
a needles eye reduces him to
shaking, cussing, helpless shambles.
He licks the end of the thread.
He holds the needle to the light.
He jabs and thrusts and finally
gets woman to do the threading.
1t cheers us immeasurably to know
that our Army is In such a strong
position that millions of men will
be allowed to sit on the edges OF
their cots and hunks and try to
thread millions of needles.
The threading of the needle Ia
but a start toward sewing on a but
ton. Sewing on a button sounds
simple, but men who have tried it
know that it isn't For a man there
are but two ways of sewing on a
button. The first is to sew it so
tight to the material that it won't
go IN the buttonhole. The second is
to sew it SO loosely that it bangles
on an inch or more of thread, and
when placed in the buttonhole hangs
its head like a stricken goose.
Stitches In Thumb.
Most men sew buttons on too tight.
The standard procedure after sew
Ing one on too tight Is to grab the
button and pull 1t in an effort to
stretch the thread. Unfortunately
thread is not made of rubber or
lastex. The result of this pulling Is
always the same. Either you yank
the button from its moorings and
have to start all over again or get
the front of the shirt so dirty and
rumpled from this unfair tug of war
that the shirt has to be sent to the
laundry before 1t can be worn.
Too, few men can sew on a button
without drawing blood-their own
blood. A goodly share of the stitches
are taken in the thumb and the
thumb always manages to see to it
that the blood drops on the shirt
front. We have seen men whose
shirts, after they had put buttons
on it, looked more like a bandage
than standard bit of wearing ap-
parel.
Elmer Davis should see to 1t that
news of our soldiers changing their
own buttons reaches Berlin and
Toxic and Rome. 1t would drive
fear into the hearts of our enemies.
Let them know that they are up
against men so tough that they can
thread a needle and do their own
sewing and they will think twice
before engaging them on the field
of battle.
Distributed By McNaush Syndicate. Inc.l