Evening star., 1943-03-01
McLemore-
Philosophers on
Top-FIoor Room
Nv HENRY McLEMORE.

Rv HENRY McLEMORE.
LONDON.-Wh the manager OF
the hotel assigned me to room on
the eighth and top floor, I did my
best to appear tremendously pleased.
Gripping the edge of the desk TO
keep from falling down, I smiled
toothy grin, thanked him for his
kindness and mumbled something
about what a fine view I would have.
1t was strictly phony per-
formance, one In which false pride
overcame honesty. What I really
wanted was a nice, cozy, corner
room in the cellar, preferably one
with matching sandbag furniture,
stirrup pumps for door steps and
sand pals for ashtrays. I certainly
did not want any top-floor lodgings
even if they commanded view of
| the Grand Canyon. Mont Blanc,
the white cliffs of Dover and Mag
| ara Falls.
But you'll find when you come
any circumstances admit that you
are afraid of bomb. No one will
| frown If you let it slip that your
| grandfather was hanged for horse
stealing or that your aunt is serving
25 years for distributing poisoned
candy to poor children, but they
will cut you dead If you show any
signs of being skittish about having
a bomb land on your head or a
piece of falling fax getting chummy
with your shoulder blades.
Londoners Give Example.
You must act at all times as II
| bombs were nothing more than
bouquets of violets and that tho
roar of enemy bombers In the sky
is as soothing to your ears as Sto-
kowskis Symphony playing Mister
Five -byFive"
| Londoners do this. I have talked
to scores of them and they Just
shrug off air attacks. One fellow
I know has gone through endless
bombings with nothing more for
protection than copy OF the Eve
ming Standard. He puts this over
his head and wanders the streets.
A taxi driver told me the only
time he really felt safe driving was
during an attack, because the
searchlights made it possible for
him to see where he was going. A
woman who went through the Gov
entry blitz told me all she worried
about was losing the jams and
jellies she had in her cellar.
Not Casual Yet.
Such casual attitude Is magnifi-
cent and I hope to develop 1t in
time, but right now, fresh from New
York, I haven't got 1t. So far I
have seen no attacks but there have
been nights when the searchlights
laced the sky and the guns fired for
practice. On these nights-and this
is an admission 1 trust will never
get back to my friends over here-I
hepped from my bed like jack rab.
bit and put on the tin hat the gov
ernment issued me and slung my
gas mask over trembling shoulder.
I didn't get under the bed but only
because there wasn't enough clear
ance. Let the sirens sound, however,
and am liable to make clearance.
There are many schools of thought
on just what Is the safest floor In
a building. In fact, as many schools
of thought as there are floors. The
frst-foorers stand up for their floor,
the second-foorers for theirs and
so on. I drew a great deal of COM
fort when Londoner told me I
was lucky to get top-f1oor room.
I'm in one myself" he said, "by
choice, too. You see. when a bomb
hits your room it will very likely
penetrate several floors before ex-
ploding."
A Favorite Spot.
That's mighty nice" said, ''but
is there any way of knowing in
which corner of the room to place
my bed so that the bomb will miss
me when it passes through?"
Silly of me. I suppose" he
answered, but I always favored the
right-hand corner for my bed"
A seventh-foor man told me the
top floor was the worst of all. 'It
probably will explode when 1t lands"
he said comforttngly, but even If
1t doesn't and it goes on to the
seventh floor, the force of the
explosion is upward and that will
make it very sticky for you"
The sixth and flfth-foor resi-
dents argue that they are closer
to the shelters and are compara-
lively safe from shrapnel and rico
chetlng fax. And, so it goes, right
on down to the ground-foor resi-
dents, who make out a great case
for their rooms.
! Well. In stuck on the top floor
! for better or for worse, but if any
one thinks I am going to act blase
If wake up and see bomb passing
the foot of my bed, he's not only
British but crazy. I'll bet you the
Metropolitan Life won't be glad to
| hear what room I have.
| Distributed by McNausht Syndicate. Incl