Evening star., 1943-05-30
BY sERGT. PETER PORTLAND.

BY SERGT. PETER PORTLAND.
LONDON, May 20 (by Wireless) I.
We were strolling through Hyde
Park enjoying one of the two spring
days Englishmen say constitute
their entire output of decent
weather when we saw an American
soldier approaching us swinging a
cane. 1t was not so much that
the cane was unusual as that the
soldiers gait was familiar, although
we hadn't seen it in year.
1t was Jerry whitehall. He came
up to us, cigarette dangling from
his mouth and assayed limp hand
shake
''Hullo, ole boy he said. This Is
a weird place for us to be meeting,
amt it?"
We suggested that there might
be weirder places.
yeah, know that" Jerry said,
But here I am in me second day
in the English isle and who should
1 run into but you. I amt seen
you since the olden days at Fort
Belvoir.'
We looked at Jerry's cane.
you seem to have fallen into the
trick of things pretty fast for a
man who has only been here two
days" we said.
"Thass whitehall for YOU" Jerry
said. "A whitehall loses no time.
I get off the transport and what
was the foist thing I see but a
bunch of Englishmen with swagger
sticks. A canes the oney thing for
me, 1 decided so I snag me a pass
and snare me cane. Except for
this uniform you couldn't tell me
from an Englishman."
We remarked that Jerrys accent
might be something of a giveaWay.
I'm wolking OH that stage of
affairs. ole boy" Jerry said. Il got
a VERGE teacher"
Where, We wanted to know.
In pub called the Snort and
WHISTLE" Jerry said. Il been in
there several times these lass two
days to lift lager. Me VERGE
teachers the barmaid. She speaks
very good English for an English
woman. Didn't you hear me call
you ole boy? Thass English"
Oh, we said.
She says I got a aptitude towards
languages" Jerry said. "Thass a
whitehall all over for you-fuid.
Sometimes think maybe I should
loln German dialeck and they could
use me IN intelligence, but then l
figure by the time I loin a dialeck
the war will be over and then where
will I be? Nowheres. Times too
precious, thass what I always say"
Evidently you like the country,
we said
The English Isle?" Jerry said.
"AW. it's awright. Thev's good
things about it and they's bad. That
barmaid, for instants, is good
thing but the beer she solves you is
lousy. Thass the Woist complaint
got-the beer. like me beer cole.
You'd of thought they put it on a
hot stove here from the temperature
It's got. Things like that would of
killed Jake Rupert sooner"
If the beers that bad, perhaps
you should give it up, we said.
Make da most of things is nv
motter," Jerry said. In a war a
mans gotta keep his courage up.
IT the beers hot, jess guzzle and
bear it. After the war the beer'l be
nice and cole everywhere.
We expressed proper approval of
such lofty postwar planning.
What have they got you doing
here?" we asked.
"AW, they got me driving truck"
Jerry said. "a lousy truck. I never
seen such awful appreciation of
talents. Fifty million Jobs in this
Army and they shove me in a
loused-up ottermobile. Thass what
I get for volunteering. Thass what
get for giving up me job going off
to save da woild. A noisemaid to a
ton and a half of pulling and haul
ing. should of joined the Navy.
Fresh air is good for me COM
pleXion."
You get fresh air in a truck, we
said.
I get fresh air in a truck if I
Suck me head out da winder and
open me mouth Jerry said. "gut
an M. P. sees me doing that and 1t IS
another toin in da clink for little
ole Jerry. I got enough trouble on
me hands with K. P. and all with
out antagonizing no M. Ps."
So you're still pulling K. p, we
said.
"An the blassid time" said Jerry,
I got a mess sergeant thass Jealous
OF me good breeding. He likes to
humble me-"
Shameful" we said.
Ihass what it is-shameful, said
Jerry. "1'll pop him on the probos-
els. He's a rank-puller, the crumb.
When I woik me way to da top in
this Army I'll put him in pertater
factory with dull knife in his mitt.
That'll hole him"
1t certainly will, we said.
Thanks, ole boy" Jerry said. 'I
appreciate people that unnerstand
me troubles. How's about popping
inter this pub with me and lifting
lager?"
Never touch the stuff, we said.
I can appreciate the subtlety Of
your purse" Jerry said. II got to 20
anyways to get me English lesson. !"
You ought to get a few lessons on
how to swing that cane, we said.
Nav" said Jerry. "Thass some
thing whitehall never needs. We
been carrying canes since away back.
We got natural grace. Well, ole boy,
got to be off now. Cheerio!"
We watched Jerry strolling along
the park. He had gone about so
I