Evening star., 1942-07-13
Grandmother
Feels Very
Abused
Has to Mind Baby
While Parents
Are at Work
By Lettice Lee Street,

Dear Mrs. STREET.: My daughter
is a headstrong young woman OF
Is; she Is pretty and smart. I love
her, but now she Is behaving in
way that makes me wonder II
should help her with her problems
any longer. She is married to
nice, quiet young chap. Both OF
them work and I take care of the
baby, aged 10 months. I know
far sight more about babies than
she does. They pay me for living
here, because they can't afford a
home of their own yet. 1 guess
I should accept Sights, criticisms
and sarcasm, because I am taking
their money. I need it as I am only
a poor widow.
Our trouble is caused by my
daughters attitude toward me, The
baby Is teething now and fretful
in the hot weather and she acts
like 1t is all my fault. We had a
terrible fight yesterday when she
came home from work; it breaks
my heart to have my own daughter
talk to me that way. I don't think
l can stand it much longer. Shall
l tell them to go, and how shall
put it.-Mis-treated Mother.
1t sounds as though the baby ism t
the only person under your unhappy
roof who is fretful. You and your
daughter are running neck and neck
way out in front. He has reason
to fuss, his poor little gums are
swollen and sore, but you two grown
women have no one to blame but
your own selfish, uncontrolled selves,
You say you love your daughter.
What sort Of love do you mean? 1t
surely isn't mother love. The feeling
you describe is merely voicing an
unwholesome pride in being able to
say, Il brought that handsome
woman into the world. am her
mother. I, I, l."
True mother-love does not weigh
the value OF money for room and
board against what is best for her
child. A real mother does not ask
"if" she should help her children
with their problems, she wants to.
Hurt pride and righteous indigna-
ton are discarded from the heart
OF the woman who feels sincere de-
votion for her children, particularly
when she realizes that they need
her.
You say your daughter is rude to
you. Who brought her up2 This is
slightly late for you to be noticing
her manners. Look back through
the years of her babyhood and child
hood and you will see why she is
insolent now.
Fifteen years ago if some one had
urged you to be tolerant, patient and
firm with your little girl would you
have listened? Now your neglect,
or pampering, whichever 1t was. is
returning to you from the bitter lips
of your grown child.
If this young family remains in
your house you should change your
attitude. The next time your daugh-
ter returns from work tired and hot
and attacks you do not lose your
temper as you have In the past.
Quietly say something like this: Il
am doing my best for the baby when
you are away all day. You are his
mother. tell me what you want and
I shall try to follow your ideas. But
I will not tolerate rudeness from
you.
1--WE all need each other, let us
Cooperate"
Then live up to what you say.
1t would be better for all if your
daughter and her family could
move into home of their own. But
until that is financially possible
help them, do not make it harder
for every one as you are now.
This is difficult situation for you,
I realize that, but If you show the
way towards happier atmosphere
by using self-control and kindness,
and If you try to understand their
problems and discomforts instead of
thinking exclusively OF your own
hardships every one will feel better
and you, yourself, will be far more
contented woman.