The Waterbury Democrat., 1942-09-29
Walter WincheII
 ON Br00dM,ay 1. essaas nssa Asaiaspsa. c.pvs,sas isss puaS msvsvs

animal words" The sucker took the bet and challenged: How do you spell rhinoceros2n
 To which the moron replied: :: 'H-I-double P.@
 Bennett Cert, the publisher. is compiling a book of war humor (pocket size) and has requested the newspaper paragraphers to help him gather the best We've forward ed some, but we fear he missed Prof. Skolsky,s delightful qyip on one of the Hollywood stars, who Is doing her bit in the war effort .. She wears an attractive uniform, of course, and Is patriotic as all get out The other morning her butler had some difficulty arOusing her After he knocked harder on the door, she grOaned: What on earth do you want2 I didn't come in until 4I" aBeg pod'n," he said, "but isn't moddom going to war this morning2"
 Frank CrowninshieId, one of the better toastimasters, credits Clarence Burlington Kelland with being a wizard at rnc-ing.
 His favorite Kelland topper deals with the time Clarence was toast- master at dinner in honor of Da- vid Sarnoff, the radio exec MT. Sarnoff's speech was devoted to praise for all the inventors who made radio what 1t is today He didn't omit orchids for any of them After he sat down, Kel- land convulsed the guests with this: MT. Sarnoff praised all the radio inventors except the greatest of them all. The very remarkable fellow who inventor the little gadget that turns the damb thing off" An Army officer we know, sta- toned in Texas, forwards letter he just received from his kid brother on duty in the Far East The lad enclosed message posted on the bulleton board at camp by the company commander It reads: Americans back home in the states are being taxed heavily in the war effor. They are going through air. raid tests, dimoutS, sugar rationing and without gas and tires. So don't | be neglectful. Be sure and write home more often and keep up their morale!"
 Scrambled Eggs: The reports per- sist that, following tradition, FDR will announce he is voting the straight Democratic ticket in the N. Y. gubernatOrial race Some others think that despite the repudi- ati0n of the President at the Ben nett-Farley convention, FDR will come out" for Bennett =. If that is so-insiders insist, FDR will praise Bennett with faint damns' !. Wm. Power MalOney, on his way to the coast to round up 3 lot of those punks lon Federal charges) paused in Chicago to sIaI 8 pair of handcuffs on Lezzie Dill ing On the coast MalOney will ditto Leon de Aryan, publisher Oi The BrOOm-which is finally sweep. ing de Aryan from San Diego ts the Capital for trial Raymond Massey, the star, will rejain tha Canadian Army as Major Ht was in the last big show {. Hi. 17 year old son, Godfrey, is in thu RCAF ... Cesar Romero is the nex movie star to enlist The daS her Police Gazette was baned, edi. tor Edith Farrell reed mag of. fers Dick Merrill is flying cargo | to s. Amermica Larry Clinton is 3 bombing instructor at an Ala. bama spot. Flew his own plane fol years The report that EnsigT Steve FuId of CBS was killed in ac. tiOn at sea-caused manw midtown. CTS to weep. Joined the Coast Guard only few months ago Dewey is now II to 5 Jack Lynch owner of a PhilIy night spot, wa in town last night cOns0ling Let DurOcher, mgr. of the Dodgers, or whom Lynch lost S47,OOO Az. gravating Thawt: Many of Hitler! U. S. pals have been arrested Others were renominated.