Evening star., 1942-10-15

TIN WON en- VINO
~'@''' never used type
Henry McLemore. writer's b fore
are using them now, in Army camps.
in Government Offices, in, well, here,
there and everywhere. With my
own eyes, I have seen untold work.
ing hours wasted as these tipping
recruits struggled to change rib
bon. During your years as a news
paperman, you undoubtedly have
learned to accomplish the trick
swiftly and surely"
This is a grave problem, and for
the life of me I do not see why the
Government hasn't issued a PAM
phlet Of instructions on how to
change ribbon. It has issued
pamphlets on everything else, surely.
from how to grow pl1lox in thorny
ground to the correct method of
saddling camel If you doubt the
quantity of helpful hints literature
turned out each day by Government
printing presses, all you have to do
is to VISIT the National Press Club
in Washington and examine the
table reserved for the output Of
Government authors. -
1t is there, pile on pile, stack on
stack. How to cure malignant Group
in dominecker hens. Short courses
in home haircutting. Rosebush rust
and what to do about it. How to
label medicine closet bottles so papa
won't get iodine when he goes for
gin. How to raise trout in the front
yard fountain. Everything, in fact.
but a booklet entitled, why Use
the Taxpayers Money on Such Junk
as Thi5?" -
The high Government official
could not have turned to finer
authority on typewriter ribbon
changing that I. I say with all mod
esty that am the Henry j. Kaiser
of ribbon changing. 1t took me two
weeks to change my first ribbon.
Now, because of the short cuts I
have learned, I can guarantee to
change one in two days From the
moment I lay the keel Of the spool
on the right until. the typewriter is
in Use again no more than 46 hours
have elapsed.
OF course, I must have perfect
working conditions and be in top
physical shape. There must be no
telephone ringing, no Interruptions
for meals, no visitors.
The first thing to do is to stare at
the typewriter for good two hours,
memorizing just how the old ribbon
is fixed in the machine. 1t is even
wise to draw little diagram of this,
because you will find that once the
old ribbon is removed you will have
forgotten how the ribbon wound its
way through the little jiggers and
doodads that hold it.
Now, open the new ribbon. Now,
throw the new ribbon away. No
one ever opened first new ribbon
and found it to be the right make,
size and shape. Now, open another
new ribbon. This one, if you're
lucky, is the right one. Now, 60
chase the new ribbon, which has
fallen from your hands and un-
wound all the way into the next
room. After you have rewound the
new ribbon, don't bother to wash
up, because you are just starting to
get dirty.
The big moment is now at hand.
The time has come to put the right
spool on the revolving business on
the right. Be sure that the arrows
are pointing the right way and that
everything snaps into place. Now
do the same with the left spool. ..
At this point it is excusable to 20
and wash up. Whether you know it
or not, you are black with ink from
head to foot and need only to drop
to your knees, roll your eyes and
clasp your hands to look like AL
Jolson on the second chorus Of
Nanny" n
When you return, all spruced up,
run the ribbon through the little
claw In the center and the two little
Whatchamacallits on each side. Now.
by all rights, the ribbon should be
ready to work. ~
Heave sigh of relief, grin a grin
and start typing, all the while
watching the ribbon to see If 1t is
moving and going from one spool
to the other.
1t won't move lick. It never
does. 1t just sits there. impatiently
waiting to be worn out in one SPOT.
like child waiting for a spanking
So start all over again. This tinne
put the left spool on the right side
and vice versa. Pay no attention
TO the little arrows. Keep plugging
away and then call for the repair
shop and they'll send a man over
Well, not man exactly. More of a
magician. who'll do the whole. lob
| IN 10 minutes.