Evening star., 1942-07-07

way OF Park avenue.
Some one had to be the flrst 70
do it. Bicycles are coming to this
town, what with gasoline getting
scarcer than a friendly cop. and
tires getting as thin as the ex-
cuses of the pleasure drivers for
riding about on them.
Some one had to be a bicycle pig
and find out how practical 1t would
be to negotiate New York's trafic
without serious mishap. figured
I looked as much like a guinea pig
as any one in this town, 50, with
only close friends and my immediate
family to see me of and wish me
bon voyage. I fastened by pants
legs with clips, bounded to the sad
ole as only a man Of my age can
bound to a saddle, and was on IN
the swirl Of early morning trafdc.
Unbounds From Saddle.
At Seventh-first street the lights
were against me, and had to un-
bound from my saddle and stand
beside my machine In the middle OF
the street.
New York has the reputation OF
being a blase, cosmopolitan city.
where a person can do almost any
thing without the citizens paying
any attention to him. Turbaned
foreign princes move in and out OF
hotels without . head being turned.
Eccentrics Of all sorts stroll the
streets in robes and sandals and
with great boards blowing In the
breeze, without causing any COM
ment. Women lead ducks, cats and
pigs on leashes. Wild West cowboys
ride down the street. And New
York goes on its way.
But q fat man, wearing conser.
vative, double-breasted seersucker
suit, riding a bicycle, is too much
for New York Pedestrians quit
humping into one another to stop
and gaze. Taxi drivers and motor
lists had remarks to make. People
shouted from the tops Of buses, and
policemen took down my description.
Dogs yapped ut me from the curb.
and when one big pooch slipped his
leash and had a 60 at my ankles
near Ti1any's, I longed for the am
monia- LOADED pistol Of my early
youth, which I acquired by saving
235 soap wrappers.
Coasts Into Pedestrian.
= There is no closed season on
I bicycle riders in New York. Appar-
emily they are considered fair game
by all other forms Of travellers. Near
the Plaza Hotel an ancient" in q
horse-drawn hanson charged me
until Dobbin and were practically
doing cheek to cheek. This was
where went up on the sidewalk and
coasted into Mrs. Florence Warner
Of Des Moines, Iowa, whose lawyer
is going to call on me tomorrow.
Fifth avenue and Forty second
street is known as the Crossroads OF
the World.
It was never named that by . BIZ
cyclist.
To a man on a bicycle 1t IS the
"You Can't Crossroads Of the
World"
I gave the silver bell on the right
handlebar the works when I ap-
preached. Trafic did not respond
The double-decker bus did not give
an inch. Neither did the fleet Of
taxis. Neither did the hundreds Of
pedestrians. Again longed for 4
bicycle attachment Of my youth
} the Fire Chief siren which was op-
Grated by the front tire and guar.
4 anteed to work full II hours.
= Finally, I pushed my bicycle across
Y the street, along with the other pc.
! destrians, and mounted again ir
! front Of the library, where the stone
lions did not even turn their heads
- to stare at me. I was very grateful
X to them.
4 The trip back up Park avenue wa,
uneventful save for an incident
| near the Waldorf. where . motoris'
! drove me into the curb, causing nj
! to lose my left pants clip, with tn.
result that my trouser leg became
entangled in the chain. The door
man undid me and I started tn.
slow, uphill crawl to Seventh-secons
street.
1t was nearing dusk when walket
in the door
Friends lifted me to their shoul
ders, stood me q round Of drink
from my own sideboard, and callet
the doctor.
distributed BY McNausht Syndicate. Inc.