Evening star., 1942-08-07

Henry MeLemors. prosperity.
In one of my infrequent lucid
moments I had the thought that
the next thing for us to start saw
ing was our breath. We Americans
are undoubtedly the greatest free
style, Greco Roman catch-as-
catch-can jabberers In the world.
II we would only reduce our USE
less inane conversations by half.
we would undoubtedly gain mil
lions of hours Of extra time to de-
vote to the war effort.
Let's be honest with ourselves and
admit that all of us spend too much
time talking about things that
don't matter damn. Just stop
and think of some of the subjects
that nearly all of us talk about
nearly every day.
Take dreams, for example. A
good 100000 hours a day must be
wasted by people either listening to
dreams or telling about dreams.
None OF them make any sense, but
show me a man or woman who
can resist recounting this sort OF
thing:
Honestly, I had the darndest
dream last night. I was standing oy
the ocean. except 1t really wasn't the
ocean, Just lot of water, and along
came this man with beard, except
1t wasn't a beard. His face Just
seemed all covered over. In his
arms he had a great big basket, all
filled with-well. never could figure
out Just what was In that basket.
At first thought they were kittens.
but they were talking to the man so
| I knew they couldn't be kittens.
Then you'd never guess what hap
pened. One Of the kittens, or what
ever they were, grabbed at me and
I started to run. That Is, I tried to
run, and I couldn't move foot.
I'll swear, when I woke up and found
out it was Just q dream and was
in my own bed, boy, was glad"
| A++A
Well admit that to do away with
the recounting OF dreams is going to
work q hardship on all OF us. There
isn't one of us who doesn't love our
moment in the sun as we stumble
along trying to I'LL in the boring
details Of boring dream to bored
group Of listeners. The only reason
dream tellers have any listeners at
all is that the listeners aren't really
listening, but Just waiting until the
finish SO they can break In with
"Wait1l tell you the one had the
other night. It seems I was IN
Alaska, or somewhere like Alaska,
where there was . lot Of snow.
and ;"
| At least 2o,ooc, 900 Americans
every day stop whatever they are
doing to tell at least 10000, 900 other
Americans Of how certain foods
don't agree with them. We doubt II
there Is any one who really cares
what upsets the stomachs Of his
friends and acquaintances. How
many times have you heard people
say, just as If they we're letting
every one In on a great international
secret:
II like onions, but onions don't
like me-"
Strawberries give me the hives
every time I eat them"
I'D give my right arm for . pisce
ok watermelon, but you can't
imagine the effect 1t has on me-"
These are fascinating little bits Of
information, but we always wonder
except when we are explaining the
peculiarities Of our own digestive
system-just why people insist or
telling, the unpleasant story Of things
that disagree with them. Why don't
they just forget the dishes that
make them writhe in remembrance
and stick to the vittles that keer
them strong and healthy. But nc
one ever thought Of turning to his
dinner partner and saying: II like
potatoes and potatoes like me. They
have never made me sick"
Other topics Of conversation that
could be abandoned for the dura-
ton without loss to the Nation:
How long 1t takes an individual tc
get up, shave, bathe. dress, and get
to work. Unless you are fireman
you can be sure that your listeners
are not interested whether it takes
you 10 minutes or an hour.
The bridge hand that was played
last night, and in which the teller
invariably saved the situation by
making magnificent decision.
How cool 1t was at your house
when every one else admits u
having half -smothered to death.
Distributed by McNausht Syndicate. INC ]
Al