Arkansas State press. [volume] (Little Rock, Ark.) 1941-1959, 1942-05-15
Chapter l4th Continued

Now that the Ice was broken
could he not do other things? What
was there TO stop him? While
sitting there at the table waiting
for his breakfast, he felt that he
was arriving at something which
had long eluded him. Things were
becoming clear; he would know
how to act from now on. The
!thing to do was to act just like
others acted, live like they lived
and while they were not looking
! do what you wanted, They would
tnever know. He felt in the quiet
presence of his mother, brother
and sister force, inartieulate and
unconscious, making for living
without thinking, making for
peace and habit, making for a
hope that blinded. He felt that
they wanted and yeained to sec
life in a certain way; they need
ed a certrain picture of the world
there was one way of living they
preferred above all others; and
they were blind to what did not
fit, They did not want to see
what others were doing if that
doing did not feed their own de-
sires. All one had to do was tc
be bold, do something nobody
thought of. The whole thing came
to him in the form Of powerful
and simple feeling, there was il
everyone a great hunger to be.
llieve that made him blind, and il
he could see while others wer'
, blind; then he could get what hi
wanted and never be caught at it
Now, who on earth would thinl
that he, black timid Negro boy
would murder and burn a ricl
white girl and would sit and wal
fer his breakfast like this? Flat
ion filled him.
/ He sat at the table watching
the snow fall past the window
and many things became plain
No, he did not have to hide be
hind wall or curtain now, HI
had a safer way of being safe
an easier way. What he had don't
last night had proved that. jan
was blind, Mary had been blind
Mr.. Dalton was blind. And Mrs
Dalton was blind; yes, blind il
more ways than one. Bigger smil'
!, ed slightly. Mrs. Dalton di moi
know that Mary was dead whilt
she had stood over the bed il thai
room last night. She had though
that Mary was drunk, because she
was used to Mary's coming home
drunk. And Mrs. Dalton had no
known that he was in the room
with her; it would have been tn
, last thing she would have though
of. He was black and would no
have figured in her thoughts Oh
such an occasion. Bigger felt
lot of people were like Mrs. Dalton
blind.
"Here you are, Bigger" hi
mother said, setting a plate o
grits on. the table.
He began to eat, feeling muc
better after thinking out what ha
happened to him last night. H
felt he could control himself now
"Ain't you all eating?" he ask
ed, looking round.
"You go on and eat. You go
to go. "We'll eat later" his mot
err said
| He did not need any money, TO
he had the money he had gotte
from Mary's purse; but he want
ed to cover his tracks carefully
"You got any money, MAJ"
: Gust a little, Bigger, 81 nee
| some"
Here's a half. That leave
ME exactly one dollar to last ii
Wednesday,
He put the half dollar in hi
pocket, Buddy had finished dres
ing and was sitting on the edge O
the bed. Suddenly, he saw Buddy
saw him in thelight of Jan. Bud
dy was soft and vague; his eye
We're defenseless and their glanc
went only to the surface Of things
1t was strange that he had no
noticed that before. Buddy, toe
was blind. Buddy was sittinl
there longing for a joh like his
Buddy, too went round and rouni
in groove and didn't see things
, Ruddv's clothes hmm loosely oop,