Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1942-07-29
LET'S Laugh
Life in Civ,
Folks. Adds
/ TO 10 Years
That Fresh Air and Quiet
Is All Propaganda
BY HENRY McEEMoRE


man may expect 10 live. what
he can count on being finished
OF by, and how much his pre-
MUM will be on the day he is
carried off TO his reward, told
me recently that the rationing
of gasoline and tires would add
one 10 10 years 10 the life ex-
pectancy OF the city-dwelling
man
This interested me no little,
being as | am a city dweller for
seven or eight months of the
year, and not very eager 10 go
10 my reward, having sus-
plcion of what il is going TO be
pitchforks and cloven hooves
at 20 PAGES.
So / asked my statistical
friend 10 explain. lie did, and
very briefly.
This Is why the city dweIler
will live longer and happier" he
said. Because OF the shortage
Of gasoline and rubber he will
not he able to make weekend
visits to his friends who live
In the country. He will have to
stay In the city where he be-
longs, and miss exposure to the
health horrors of the wide open
spaces"
THIS is being written while I
am spending weekend
with a friend who lives in the
country, and the insurance sta
tlstlcian is right, although | be-
lleVe he is conservative. and
that the city dweller will add
is 10 20 years 10 his life ex-
pectancy by staying in town.
Let me list a few Of the dam
gers that the country throws in
the path Of the man from the
city.
T There is the COMPOUNDED
silence for one thing. When a
man has become accustomed TO
the sweet cry of the taxi. the
challenging roar of the subway,
the haunting rumble of the ele-
waited, and the gay bark OF the
drunk homeward bound from
the night club, he misses them.
The country has nothing to
offer in their stead, save the
songs Of a few birds, who never
sing anything you know and
Join IN, and the unmelodious
sound OF katydids rubbing their
knees together.
The country Is always quiet
save at one time. That is very
early in the morning. Then all
OF Natures adorable little crea-
lures gather outside the visitors
window and give off SYM
phony that would disturb
Thoreau, even
WE CITY dwellers have our
w birds, but they are polite,
knowing and understanding.
Living just outside my bed
room window in New York is an
English sparrow with a lovely
soprano voice. But he never
sings while we are asleep. He
looks in, and if our faces IRE
still buried in the pillow he says
those folks have had a hard
night and I'll keep my bird trap
shut until they are up and about.
To spend night in a country
home Is 10 have things drop off
the ceiling onto your back while
you try TO sleep. No one has
even identified these fuzzy little
fellows who lose their grip Just
as you are drifting off, and land
lightly on the neck, shoulders
and back.
Every country home should
have A sort Of staff John Kieran
10 pick them off a sleeper and
identify them.
One landed on me last night
that had u legs, four sets of
eyes, a pair of luminous fangs
and tail that switched. I
s h ow G d II TO my host in the
morning and he said il was
harmless little fellow that was
nice TO have around-ate mos
quitoes, he said.
\ VISITOR TO the country
"A nearly always smothers TO
death from the heat. The coun-
try host invariably greets his
guests with this:
I'VE are right smack In the
woods. You'll never know there
i a heat wave when YOU stay
here"
Usually the country home is
so thick in the woods that
breath Of air couldnt reach the
place except by parcels post.
What little air IS available. the
trees and bushes use 10 keep
themselves alive.
Country home hosts have an
unwritten law that nothing but
food raised right on the place
will be served city visitors. They
consider it treat for city folk
10 eat homegrown food. even
though it was raised right on
barren ground and by a gar
dener who missed his calling in
the first place. and should have
been a furniture upholsterer in
lansing