Evening star., 1942-10-14


on what some inspired writer years
ago described as 'our annual
autumnal madness" or was that
the World Series he was talking
about?
But never mind. it's football I am
going to talk about today. I've
pinned chrysanthemum on my
dressing gown. stuck feather back
of my ear, yelled "rah, rah, rah,"
and here We 60"
Football, along with many other
sports, has come in for it's share Of
criticism of late. There is school
of thought, and loud one, which
believes that sports have no part In
the war. I believe that as long as
football continues to be played in
wartime, something should be done
about the attitude of football
coaches.
Football coaches, taken as whole,
constitute the greatest group of de-
featists to be found anywhere. Proof
of this is to be found in every pre-
season and pre-game statement they
make. Ask any one of them what
| chance he thinks his team has and
he Immediately assumes the express
sion of a bedridden St. Bernard.
Tears well into his eyes, his voice
drops to something between moan
and whine, and then he launches
into pitiful description Of what
will happen to his boys when they
meet their next opponent.
I'VE haven't a chance, a single
chance-Our only hope is to hold
the score down-They are too good
for us, too smart, too strong-there
are too many of them-They started
practice long before We did-They
are more experienced-Bes We
are all crippled up-Their second
team could beat us-Look at their
reserves. They're 10 deep in every
position and if only one of our men
gets injured we're sunk"
And on and on and on. as long
AS any one will listen to him. Now
that sort of talk is great for morale
building, isn't it? That's inspira-
tional leadership, isn't it?
Can't you Just hear Gen, Mac
Arthur following the same pattern
in talking to his troops in Australia?
It's always been mystery to me
why football team, after reading
in the papers how dismal It's coach
thought its chances were. didn't
come on the field with its hands up
in the gesture of surrender. and,
using the referee as an inter-
mediary, sue for peace.
With the band playing "I Sur
render, Dear" the captain would
advance to the middle of the field
to talk peace with the opposing
captain. This, of course, would end
football, because the other captain,
whose coach was equally pessimistic,
would also come out seeking terms,
hands up.
x& X
The coaches should change their
tunes in times like these. The
men in football togs will soon be
in khaki, playing bigger game in
which there is no place for a de-
featist. Odds mean nothing to the
American soldier He doesn't care
if he is outnumbered and out-armed.
He keeps pitching with the convic-
ton that he can lick anything that
walks.
A change to an optimistic key
would be welcomed relief to the
readers OF the sports pages. I
doubt if there is follower Of FOOT
ball who isn't sick and tired of read
ing how Coach Cutback fears Tit
mouse u, how Coach Tapedankle
only hopes to make a decent show
ing against Subsidy Normals pow
erful eleven, and how Coach Twisted
Knee figures his men will do we'll
to come out alive against their old
rival, Ptomaine Tech.
So, coaches. forget the rules Of
your union which demand that a
coach sing the blues in order to
keep the alumni from expecting
too much. The next time a re-
porter asks you how your team is
going to fare, answer in this vein:
We'll lick those guys If we have
to play until midnight"
OF course, If you are coaches In
the Ivy League you are at liberty
to substitute fellows" for guys"
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