Evening star., 1942-08-25

believe, for millions Of other Amer
lean men when say that there Is
no tougher breed than those gen.
tlemen who listen patiently to what
a customer wants in size, style and
color, and then sell him what they
(the clerks consider fitting for his
head or feet.
Yesterday I went shopping for q
brown, soft-brim hat and pair of
serviceable brcgues like the ones
had on.
Today I am the owner Of . black
hat, with brim as stin as an an
gered poker. and . pair Of shoes
which don't fit me.
Gen. Macarthur would love to
have the services Of the clerk who
sold me the black hat. Cold, re-
lentless, determined, he ignored my
plea for q snap brim. He did try
one on me, but he chose . size 10
or something and, after jamming it
down over my eyes to . point where
I needed Seeing Eye dog TO make
the mirror, he called:
Look at yourself In thatl Not
your type ut all"
I was afraid to tell him that
couldn't see anything: that the band
was squarely across my eyes. Even
II had liked 1t. I wouldn't have
bought it, not after the violent jerk
he had given 1t to pull it down over
my face. It was strictly . dam
aged goods" number now.
Foonshly. I insisted on seeing Q
small snap-brim number. He
brought out q size 5 or 8. which
apparently had been put In stock
on the chance that the circus would
come to town and one Of the freaks
would need a hat. and he balanced
1t on my head. I DARED . peek In
the mirror.
mot that!' cried.
"Just a. I told you to start with"
the clerk said. What you need Is
q stiff -brimmed hat. A black still
brimmed hat"
Glad to get the circus creation
of my head, I didn't fight back.
He plopped a great black thing on
my head.
"Ah--hI" he ah-ed. "Just as I
knew. Take q look"
I did. And all the image needed
to pass for Russian In the revolu-
ftionary days was . smoking bomb
In its right hand.
what are your initials7" the clerk
asked.
without thinking, I told him H.
Mel"
He disappeared. There was Q
banging Of gears in 3 room near by.
The clerk popped back.
Here you are" he said. "Your
initials right in the band. In gold.
Thank you very much. Here's my
card. II can ever serve you again,
I'll be glad to-" I
skulked down the street to the
shoe store. I told the clerk wanted
another pair exactly like the ones
I had on-that they were the most
comfortable things I had ever WORN.
He reached for that alumiuRm
slide-rule gadget and said. EQt's
see about size" In . Arm. loud voice
[ said: Take that thing awsA 3ust
look in the shoe and get ths same
number" u
He went away. fumbled aro3ns
the boxes, and came back vslA d
pair. "Are those the same sisefs i
asked. q
"No-these are q half sine larger.
Those shoes you've been wearing
are too small for YOU"
I should have kicked him In the
teeth with my stockinged foot, but
I fell under his spell. He careSsed
my foot with his hand. He pinched
my toes. See. this toe Is too far
forward" He discussed my Arch
and instep. He stroked my heel.
He warned me what a plight would
be In when winter came and I put
on heavier socks.
Won't they stretch bitf" I
asked. He looked at me reproach-
fully. knew they'd stretch, because
their brothers before them vhad
stretched, but the clerks hypnotism
had me drowsy now.
I bought them. wore them
home. Now they're scuffed and
dirty and can't return them. syen
though they are q full size too. large.
The shoe clerk had won, Just as
the hat salesman had won.
Great men. hat and shoe clerks.
Overpowering men. ~
trust that when the Commander
in-chief Of the United Nation8 Is
chosen. It will be . man who. aHpne
time or another sold shoes or hats.
distributed By McNausht Syndicate, Incl