Detroit evening times., 1942-10-06
Wife Riding
Bench Brings
BieConfusion
She Wasn't Supposed
TO Manage Team {
BY WEsTBROOK PEGLER


do hut the confusion was ter-
rible that summer.
Charlie Dissenat's wife Wa
just as nice and pleasant 10 talk
to as anybody you ever saw but
after all she wasn't supposed
TO be the manager and yet you
find her butting in on all kinds
of things that were strictly none
Of her business and all those
funny friends of hers that she
brought around. like for in
stance, this Professor Weeney.
well he just thought he was the
headman and the ball players
they were just nothing but a
lot of scrabble.
But anyway, the worst OF IL
was the confusion because when
you come right down to il why
there Is no two ways about II
because you are either out or
you are safe and you either win
or you lose.
But il wasn't that way with
our club after Mrs. Dissenat and
Professor Weeny and the lady
first -haSemanL from Smith Gel-
lege and the youth TWerp and
the Bulgarian economist got 10
messing around and everybody
in the bleachers gets Sl25 for
a bonus with a 50-cent ticket.
IKE one day we showed up
IL for work and / looked out
Of the hole and ! can hardly
believe my eyes. although hd,
that time practically nothingS
could surprise me. because /
thought l had seen five bases
out there.
l counted them over again and
sure enough we had. no kidding.
five bases as ! said. Vel, fan
me ere / Swoon but what goes
here if you don't mind my ask
ing.
So Mrs. Dissenat she said:
"Why Mr.. Dunno this II
nothing but just a little social
gain, because we want To open
the horizon of opportunity TO
the masses 80 we are going TO
have five bases instead of four.
There IL nothing I'm the natu-
raj law" she said. (which makes
IL 80 you have got to have alb
sOluteIy four bases and no more.
Mr.. Dunno" she said. land YOU
have got to realize that we live
in n changing world and nothing
II static 80 maybe a time will
come when We will have 40 or
82 bases according to world
progress and II peoples can't
adjust themselves why then you
have failed TO meet life"
We'll" l said. pardon me all
TO hell. Mrs. Dissenat, but ! am
not n lawyer myself No I don't
know anything about the Datu-
raj law but what about the rule
book and all / want To say with
all due respect, the trouble with
this ball club Is we don't even
know where we stand any more.
II sometimes go nuts trying
to figure out where we stand
and now we have got five
bases"
you have got to be dynamic.
Mr.. Dunno" She said, land the
rule book wasn't written by
nature because II was written
by some men and everything.
that mar does man can undo Oh
improve, 80 we will change theei
rule book"
GO YOU can call me a liar If
~ you want TO and / don't
blame you but just then old
Weeney showed up with whole
lot Of funny people from a
thinking school that he was con-
nected with where all they do is
sit around and try TO think up
different kinds of thoughts and
Mrs. DiSsenat rushed up to them
and exclaimed:
"Oh, here are the new assist
ants. ] am so happy you could
come because now when the
baseball gets too exciting we can
stop and take rest and have n
discussion"
/ am telling you and you don't
have 10 take my word because
you can find il in the clippings.
Mrs. DiSsenat and old Weeney
they had hired these queries
from the thinking &C d emy
down town where he was pro-
fessor of thinking. and every
man on our club has now got an
assistant TO assist him making
the plays.
They were just all over the
place and they would get in the
way and one twerp by the name
of Boris why he nearly got his
brains knocked out the first
inning trying TO assist on drive
past third, but she says the idea
is nothing new because we al
ways had assists in the official
scoring and furthermore she
said. the world needs more as
sistance between people because
that is the spirit of cooperation
and helpfulneSs and without IL.
well you have wars.
RUT if you think that is all Z.
- you are crazy because iusttN
before game time and Brook
lyn is ready 10 hit and we are
scattered all over the lot and
our five bases with aesie,or..