Evening star., 1942-08-26

dieter begins to wonder how strict
are the laws against cannibalism,
and If he can keep soul and body
together until the thing is finished
and he can sink his teeth into
something more substantial than a
glass of SKINNED water.
Certainly the man or woman whd
survives the eight day wonden
diet-and the betting on me is
no better than even money now
won't be frightened by the rreatless,
sugarless. cereal-less days that Mr..
Wickard is thinking of imposing.
The Secretary of Agriculture can
come right out and advocate food
less day without alarming those who
have experienced the menus pro-
vided on this particular reducing
bill Of fare.
1t might be good thing If all
Americans dieted for a week or two.
The diet teaches conservation.
Dieters don't waste any of their
food. My breakfast this morning
consisted chiefly of slice of rye
toast about the size of an airmai1
stamp, and when my wife was re-
moving it from the toaster she &C.
cidentally left thunbprint on its
unbuttered surface. You can't im~
agine how good that thumbprind
tasted. ! saved 1t for the last, i'd
looked so good and substantial.
XXX +
Baked into the porcelain of my
dinner plate is a little fish. I'va
been after that little perch, or what-
ever it is. for a solid three days. I
believe If I can get him I'll be abla
to last the eight days, and thus win
81 from the cook, she having placed
that much at even money against
my pulling through.
Dieting also teaches the appre%
citation of food. Americans are inS
clined to take too much for granted
the bountiful food that pours ontu
their tables from the star-spangled
horn of plenty. Chew and swallow
chew and swallow, without much of
thought as to how good things
taste. Three or four days on this
eight-day wonder diet and q man
holds bite of carrot in his mouth
until it melts, and rolls a bit of
stewed celery on his tongue as
though it were breast of aux under
liberty bell, or ragout of Eskimo
pie la mode. The simplest dishes
take on new light, and even such
a homely concoction as stewed to-
matoes makes the mouth water from
20 PAGES. f
A diet makes you mean, too, and
Americans could use a little more
meanness these days, what with
having to deal with such outlaws
as the Japs and the Germans. This
is particularly true Of a diet when
1t Is accompanied by exercises. MY
physician Che took his early trains
Ing under DR.. Crippen) left me a seu
of exercises to do as I dieted. q
have often been tempted to eat the
exercises and do the food, as this
exercises are printed on heavy.
glossy paper. and what I wouldna
give for mouthful Of succulenu
wood pulp right at this time!
| But to get back to the exercises.
| You start them the same time YOU
do the diet. One of them calls for
you to stand against the wall and,
heels against the Dashboard, 90
through the motions Of q Boy Scout
standing on hot Goals wigwaggine
to his troopmaster across the laks
for help. This is all right the first
day, when the 2-pound steak you
ate the night before you started on
the diet is still in there pitching
and giving you strength. But by
the third. day your knees have
buckled, your arms are too weak
to do any more than barely wiggls
the fingers on the end of them. and
you hope and pray that the troop
master will come across the, Lake
and help you.
Another set Of exercises calls for
you to stretch out on your back in
bed and pretend you are riding q
bicycle.
This isn't easy to do. A mans
common sense revolts at this exer-
else. No one ever rode a bicycls
flat on his back, not even the trick
guys in vaudeville Too, the exer.
else never calls for any coasting,
My physician chose a course that
is always uphill. Not once do thei
directions say, "Okay, now that
you've reached the top of the noun
tain, you can coast for mile or
two"
This is my fifth day on the. diet.
I don't look like a love seat any
more. My ribs cry out for xylo-
phonist to beat tune on them. My
chin cries for its lost brothers..
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