Evening star., 1942-09-26

SNAPSHOTS OF his assorted IeidtAESo
and friends. ~.
We are not at all sure that the
sponsors of Pictures From Home
are right. AS a matter OF faceF~e
are inclined to believe that their
plan is fraught with danger, and
liable to do more harm than good.
The value of a picture depends
so much on what the person who
had the picture taken looks like.
Speaking as man who isn't in the
Army. but who is so close to being
In that his Selective Service Board
keeps a carrier pigeon circling over
his home all day, We are quite sure
we wouldn't want our tent or hotel
suite or whatever the Army pro-
vides an earnest, tired private, all
cluttered up with pictures of our
relatives.
We can think Of nothing worse
than to come in from grueline
day of picking flaws In our top
sergeants technique, and gaze at
a rogues gallery of McLemores and
their by-products. One peek at
Uncle Jim alone would set us back
g. good two weeks, and Uncle Jim
coupled with Cousin Willie May
would send us to the base hospital
with the screaming meemies.
sJd
And we do not believe that the
McLemores. taken as clan, are any
worse looking than the average
American clan. AS family we run
bit toward large Adams apples IN
the menfolk and cross eyes in the
womenfolk. But that's not unusual.
There are few American families.
with the possible exception Of the
Cabots, the Lodges, the Saltonstalls
and the Dukes, who can exhibit a
family album with complete con-
| fidence.
There are pictures Of sweethearts
to consider, too. There is many a
soldier, in many a place, who has
told his buddies of the girl who is
waiting for him at home.
She (you can almost hear him de-
scribing herr has eyes as big as a
saucepan and as blue as the Monday
after payday. Her teeth are like
pearls only nicer, and her hair is the
color of corn tassels, and SO much
softer than silk. She has more
curves than scenic railway, and
her voice is like the note Of thrush
which has been to the Cincinnati
Conservatory of Music. Moreover.
she has money to burn and her old
man is president Of three banks.
He paints whale Of picture.
His buddies envy him. With each
retelling of what his sweetheart
looks like, the soldier comes closer
and closer to believing the descrip-
ton himself.
Then, one day, picture arrives.
1t futters out of letter and the SOL
dier's buddies all see it, 1t shows
Hortense Hottentotter in a far diff
ferent light. 1t shows Hortense Hot
tentotter, in fact. She looks for all
| the world like something that just
flew out of coop, and not Gas her
boy friend had describeO something
that would make Lana Turner turn
green with envy. Hortense is wear
ing a MILDLY blouse and bloomers,
and has just finished strenuous
game of basketball, a sport In which
she excels at the standing guard po-
sition. The soldier-Hortense's SOL
dier-is never quite the same.
Another thing must be taken into
consideration-the effect on the
morale of the people at home who
have to go and have their pictures
taken to send away. Civilian morale
is important, too, and we can thir1k
of nothing that would damage sit
more than a trip to a photogra-
piers. 4,p
There is that ghastly business of
dressing up for visit to the photag-
rapher. No one ever just went and
had his picture taken in his ordf-
nary clothes. That would result In
his looking natural, something to he
avoided at all costs. 1f2
There is that grave moment when
the photographer-and they have
the demeanor of wardens attending
an execution-tells you to sit down
on the little bench while he adjusts
the lights. You squirm. you fuss and
f1dget, you try this pose and that
pose. He says, Smile" SO you turn
on a sickly deathroom grin that
would sour a grape from IL PAGES.
Your hands feel awkward and In
the way. So do your feet. Finally,
the photographer snaps you and
you flee into the street, knowing
that when the proofs arrive you'll
look like an idiot. You're right.
When the proofs arrive you do look
that way.
No, let's let the boys in the service
dream of us. Let's not make them
face any sterner realities by send
ing them pictures of our-our-oh,
what is the French word? That's
| it-maps. ~
distributed by McNaught Syndicate, Incl,