The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1942-06-11
THE WOMEN'S ARMY
Tramp, tramp, tramp, the
girls are marching!

a lady or give her salute.
There will be 10000 gals in the
new army, and it is fairly obvious
that before long there will be SO
many of them in uniform that a
woman dressed like woman is
going to feel conspicuous.
1t is all going to be terrific
blow at feminine daintineSs and
charm. The lboudoir is going to
look like an army locker room,
every clothes hanger is going to
have a military garment on it
and the male members OF the
family are going to have their
troubles telling which are their
hats and which belong to mother
and sister.
We fear big drop in charm. A
woman has to have everything to
project oomph in fiat heels and an
army hat.
There will be no generals, majors,
colonels, etc., in the Female Re-
serve. Those responsible for the
matter were smart enough to know
that chaos might result. But there
will be other less militant titles. The
ladies will be ranked as directors,
assistant directors, first leaders,
second leaders, junior leaders, etc.
The preliminary battles will be
fought over the question who are
to be plain everyday members.
The gals will be paid. Directors
will get $4,000 year and expenses,
assistant directors will get So, 400
and expenses, and those from junior
leaders to first officers will get from
$648 to $4,000 year and expenses.
Expenses will not include
bridge losses.
Just what the ladies will do has
not been completely decided, but if
the boys in the army could get their
wish some of them will be assigned
to cook, make beds and do the gen.
eral Homework which the boys now
have to do.
Nothing would raise the morale Of
the American buck private like be-
ing relieved of the job of making
his own bed.
The Women's Army will be nom
combatant. Except within its own
ranks.-Ed.)
It may be sent anywhere in the
world. And there is this one great
consolation: it will not be sent out
in those funny spring and summer
hats.
.DIMOUT
"Get the fashlight, Willie!
Peppers gonna take us to New
York to see the sights!"
It's so dark in the heart of New
York now that folks are doing their
necking OUTSIDE the movie houses.
| ". W OSC k1lSOllO1 W NudhG!
Rubber" Headline.
We suppose this will mean a
| return of those wobbly rear
tires.
Private Purkey's sweetheart, Har-
riet, says she supposed all those
soldiers are being sent to Ireland
because they are green troops.
THOSE MUSICAL COMMERCIALS
Radio advertisers are going jingle
mad. There is hardly product on
the air market today that hasn't
been set to music.
You can't tune into the radio these
days without finding yourself in the
middle of some musical boost espe-
cially written for infantile intellects.
There was time when an an
nouncer would plug a drink,
hair oil, bon bon or cigarette
in a straight TALK. He didn't
need an orchestra to say good
word for loaf of bread, or a
choir to emphasize the value of
a can of beer.
He didn't have to set Mother
Goose jingle to music to beat down
your sales resistance.
Radio is the most initiative of all
the arts. Let some sausage maker
come on the air with a sales talk
via male quartette and a dozen
other business men will have their
commercials musicalized.
Are you cigar manufacturer?
Very well. You'll want something
like this to convince the American
public that you have the best smoke.
Health and vigor's what you
need,
You can get 'em, yes, indeed;
Smoke BazoOker's new cigar -.
Ira La, ira la, ira la lar!
Perhaps you are producer OF
thumbtacks and are not selling
enough this season. Consult your
up to date advertising agency now!
For only 1000 times what the
darned things worth you can 60
before the great unpitied audience
with this masterpiece:
. Tinker's Thumbtacks are the
. best
, They have stood the nations
test;