Evening star., 1942-08-12

the past?'
To all these questions the answer
is yes and no" There is no deny
ing that the divorce rate has gone
up since our grandparents day, but
probably the percentage of unhappy
marriages was just as great then as
it is now. The ideal marriage in
which both parties get their hearts
desire and spend 40 or SO years in
billing and cooling Is just a part OF
the fiction of the good old times
which, in reality, never were.
There have always been philan-
dering husbands and nagging wives.
There have always been husbands
and wives who looked glamorous be-.
fore the altar and like something
the cat brought home after they
are married. There have always
been domestic tyrants of both sexes.
Uncongenial people, who hadn't a
thing in the world in common, have
always had a fatal habit Of marry
ing each other. There hasn't been
a single change in the matrimonial
schedule since the first wedding took
place.
The only difference is that IN the
past when people guessed wrong in
picking out their mates. they swal-
lowed their disappointment and
kept quiet about it, while We sqawk
to Heaven about how we got stung.
Grandma may have gotten on
grandpas nerves or bored him, but
he didn't go around broadcasting
his troubles and asking for a vote
of public sympathy. Grandpa may
have had wandering foot, but
grandpa pretended not to know 1t
and gave lifelike impersonation
of a happy wife. instead Of taking
the children and going back to
mother.
It was not because grandpa and
grandma were more happily mar
ried than their grandchildren are
that they carried on" but because
in those days people married for
keeps and not for experimentation;
and so they made the best Of their
bargains.
Also. it was because divorce, no
matter for what cause, was conSld-
| cred more or less of disgrace. 1t
was just something the best people
| didn't do, instead of being fashion,
able as it is now. So people en-
dured their misf1t mates, instead OF
swapping them off for something
they hoped they would like better
So far as women, who are the CHIEF
patrons of the divorce courts, are
concerned, the fact that most OF
them now are self-supporting makes
them more choosy about their hus-
bands than grandma could have
| been. No matter how much grand
ma may have lost her taste for
| grandpa, she had to stick and pre-
| tend to like it if he was her meal
ticket. But now, when women can
earn their own cakes and ale, they
don't have to endure husbands who
are too much unlike their favorite
movie heroes.
In reality, judged by the stand
ards of the past, the modern hus-
band and wife are simply grade
Al. They are the best the worlc
has ever known and should make
marriage a shining success, for ap-
parently they have every quallflca-
ton for doing SO. They marry fol-
love. They select their mates. They
are intelligent, educated and accorc
their husbands and wives a degree
of personal liberty that their grand
parents never would have dreamed
of doing
But that. in spite of all this, they
so often make failures of their mar
riages is attributable chiefly to two
things: The first is that they
demand too much of marriage. They
expect it to be the one and only
perfect human institution. The,
expect it to be career in which ont
can achieve success without work
ing at it, or bringing any patience
or even modicum of common sens,
to bear in solving its problems.
They expect the marriage cere
mony to be some kind of an en-
chantment that will turn the ordi
nary, faulty, run-of -the-mill boy o
girl they marry into saints ant
sages, and work a miracle in them
selves that will change their who'll
natures SO that the high-tempere'
will become amiable, the extrava
CANT thrifty: the undomestic viii
know how to cook; the lazy will r
to work; the wild will be tanned, an,
the run-arounds will become fire
side companions.
When none of these things happel
, and their Marys and Johns are tn
same after marriage as they wer
before, they cry out that marriag
r Is failure, and throw up thei
t hands and quit.
, The second reason why so man
marriages are unhappy Is becaus
s the modern generation is too soft
1t can't take the punishment O
. marriage. 1t wants q marriage i
which the wife stays perpetual