Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1942-08-13
for Day HtnmoVed
by City Advantages
BY HENRY McLEMORE

fellow who took his meals at
Bellevue, and, who, because OF
some malformation of the nog-
gin, was incapable of appreciat-
ing the sweet song OF the
cricket, the lulling peck Of the
woodpecker. the delights of din
ing in Gods great out-of-doors
with Gods great winged and
long-beaked creatures biting me
on the back Of the neck. and
the thrills Of breathing air that
staggered into the room after
fighting its way through mighty
oaks, pines, elms and mess OF
assorted underbrush.
THESE letters made me mad.
l. They made me mad for half
a dozen reasons.
In the first place, as II was so
nicely pointed by Voltaire. a
man has a right TO his own
opinion. even il that opinion is
as wrong as rain on a holiday
weekend.
In the second place (Which,
incidentally, is where my horses
usually finish) the letters indi-
Gated that my readers felt that
/ was a smart-aleck of city
boy and had had no experience
with the country.
This burned me up. because I
was born and raised in towns at
least two wheel greases from
the highway; in towns where
the pigs and cows have the
right of way on the highway,
and where fellow saved his
white overalls for Sunday best
wear.
ONE letter writer (his home
" is in a suburb some Is miles
from New York; was so bitter
that l invited him 10 come and
spend a night with me in New
York. and test for himself the
merits of living in the city and
living in the country.
He accepted.
He arrived in Grand Central
al 5 :55 in the afternoon.
plopped my visitor in a cab.
II was a cab that was open in
the back. and whose back seats
were shaded by a little awning.
II was twice as cool as any
station wagon or sedan that l
was ever met in at station by
a suburban or country dweller.
4 S WE drove up the avenue
n we passed dozens Of air.
cooled GASES. BY the nod of his
head my guest could have stopped
the car and ducked into soft
lighted rooms and been swept by
the incest air of all-the air that
sits on a block of ice until
patron beckons it by breathing
heavily.
After dinner I took my guest
to a theater that was so cold
that Admiral Byrd would have
had his hands in his pockets by
the time the double feature was
completed.
1t was a theater that had a
roof in which stars blinked -
much brighter stars than you get
by standing on a front porch in
the country while mosquitoes
bite yoU and looking straight up.
These were sure fire stars.
They are turned on by the the
alter electrician at each eve
ming and never fade until he
turns them off after the late
show is over at midnight.
WHEN he retired for the night
w stories about the noise
OF the city, excepting those
noises caused by the subway,
taxi. street construction. and the
party in the apartment one floor
above-my country guest was
whipped by a stiff breeze.
An electric fan saw 10 that.
A push of the button and its
little rubber blades blow on the
Just and unjust alike. Moreover,
the fan. as it revolved back and
forth. gave off a gentle. whirring
sound, that has a cricket licked
by length.
When morning came. my
guest got tomato Juice out of a
can He didn't have 70 wonder
If the garden was going 10 pro-
duce him a breakfast drink. II
was there. A can opener, not a
gardener, took care of him.
When it was all over / asked
him how he liked the city. l
asked him If he didn't think he
was making a mistake TO live in
the suburbs. a prey of Nature.
He didn't answer. Just walked
out Of the door.
This bothered me until I re-
membered that he probably was
worrying about getting enough
fuel oil TO heat his home in the
country during the winter: was
desperate from worry that his
wife and babes would wake Up
some morning, cold. blue and
chilled.
He can have it. Brother!
It's not for me.
They'll never put me in a
place where Harold Ickes mas a
say whether l am 10 be warm o.
cold.
OF course, that's bias. pJrc
bias. So forget ~,
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