Jackson advocate. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1939-current, 1942-04-18
NATIVE SON
BY RICHARD WRIGHT

~ AAA'~N oOAi'StiiillS dDOuL
as soon as she was missed. No; it
would be far better to stick it out
and see what happened. 1t might
be a long time before anyone would
think that Mary was killed and
a still longer time before any
one would think that he had done
1t. And when Mary was missed
would they not think of the Reds
first?
The street car rumbled ND and
he got On and rode to Forty
seventh Street, where he transfer
req to an eastbound car. He looked
anxiously at the dim reflection OF
his black face in the sweaty win
doWpane. Would any of the white
faces all about him think he had
killed a rich white girl? MOI They
might think he would steal a dime
rape women, get drunk, or cut
somebody, but to kill million
aires daughter and burn her body?
He smiled little, feeling a ting
ling sensation enveloping all his
BODY. He saw it all very sharply
and simply; act like other people
thought you ought to act. yet dc
what you wanted. In certain
sense he had done just that in o
loud and rough manner all his
life, but it was only last night
when he snothered Mary in her
room while her blind mother had
stood with oUtstretched arms that
ne had seen how clearly it could
be done. Although he was trem-
bling little, he was not. really
AFRAID. He was eager, ire
mendously excited. l can take care
OF them, he thought, thinking of
Mr.. and Mrs. Dalton.
There was only one thing that
worried him; he had to set that
lingering image Of Mary's bloody
head lying on those newspapers
from before his eyes. If that were
done, then he would be all RIGHT
Gee, what a fool she was. he
Thought, remembering how Mary
had acted. Carrying Oh that wayl
Hell, she made ne do it'll +,
couldn't help it! She should've
known better! She should've left
me alone
he did not feel sorry for Mary,
she was not real to him, not a hui
man being; he had not known he1
long or well enough for that. He
felt that his murder of her was
that her actions had evoked feai
and shame in him. But when he
thought hard about it it seemed
impossible that they could have
He really did not know just where
that fear and shame had come
from; it had just been there. that
was all Each. time he had come
in contact with her it had rises,
hot and hard.
1T was not Mary he was reacting
to when he felt that fear anG
shame. Mary had served to set of
his emotions, emotions cordition-
ed by many Marys. And now that
he had killed Mary he felt a les
SEEMING of tension i'm his muscles:
he had shed an invisible burden
he had long carried
AS the car lurched over the snow
he lifted his eyes and saw black
people upon the snow-covered
sidewalks. Those people had feel
ingS of fear and shame like his.
Many a time he had stood on
street corners with them ana talk
ed of white people as long sleek
cars zoomed past. To Bigger and
his kind white people were not
really people; they were q sort Of
great natural force, like a stormy
sky looming overhead, or like a
deep swirli1g river stretching sud-
denly at ones feet in the dark
As long as he and his black folks
did not 60 beyond certain limits.
there was no need to fear that
white force. But whether they
feared it CT not, each and every
day of their lives thev lived with
it; even when words did not sound
its name, they acknowledged its
reality. As. long as they lived
here in this prescribed corner of
the city they paid mute tribute
to it.
There were rare moments when
a feeling and longing for solidar-
ity with other black people would
take hold Of him He would dream
Of making a stand against that
white force. but that dream would
fade when he looked at the other