Imperial Valley press., 1942-11-24
CAPITAL TALKS
by
Peter
Edison


Senate procedure over this poll tax
bill, all you have to dc is consider
what might have happened to the
African campaign if, instead of
being commanded by Generals Els
enhower. Clark, Patton and Doo-
title. the invasion had been COM
manded by US. Senators.
Srpposing Senator Dear Alben
W. Barklev CT Paducah. Ky. had
been III command instead of Gen.
eral Eisenhower Supposing Sena-
tor the Hon. Wall Doxey of Holly
Springs, Miss. had been given the
job of preliminary reconnaissance
entrusted to General Clark, Sup
posing command CT the armored
force had been given to Senator
Theodore G.. Whataman Bilbo of
Poplarville, Miss, instead of to Cen
eral Blood and Cuts Patton. And
supposing command of the air
forces had been given to Senator
Kenneth McKellar Of Memphis,
Tenn. instead of to Gen. Doolittle.
All such comparisons are obvious
~ odious. and they are beside the
point of rightneSs or wrongneSs of
the poll tax issue itself. But some
kind of a contrast of this kind is
necessary to present this battle in
the Senate in its utter futility and
to show that in wartime this is no
way to run a Senate or a war.
Picture therefore. Commanding
General Barkley trying to get his
general staff organized for an in
vasion OF Africa. The minutes Of
the staff meeting would run some
thing like this. with apologies to
the Congressional Record.
FIGHTIN' WORDS
General Barkley. I move that
We procveed to the consideration of
an invasion of Africa, to amend
an act CT the Vichy government
and to prevent pernicious politi-
cal activities by Adolf Hitler.
General Bilbo. l suggest the alb
Sence of a quorum.
The Chief Clerk of the meeting
called the roll. General Barkley,
Bilbo and Doxey answered to their
names. General McKeller was alb
sent and a lot of other generals
seemed tc be in Washington. Aus
tralia, Hawaii. Iceland. Guadal-
canal. Panama and Chungking. A
quorum was not present.
General Barkley There seems
to have taken place an exodus equal
to the exodus of the children of
Israel from Egypt, but it's the
children Of Rommel that we're in
terested in. IaughterD But if
General McKellar were here. it
would be quorum. I move that
a sergeant be authorized and di-
rected tC issue warrants Tor the
arrest of Gen. Kenneth Mcclellan
of Memphis, Tenn. and that he be
hog tied and garroted and brought
in to this staff meeting.
General Doxey. A parliamentary
inquiry
General Barkley. The General
will state il.
General Doxev. Is the motion |
of the General from Kentucky de-
batab,e?
General Bilbo. I suggest the abb
sence Of a quorum.
The Chief Clerk called the rcll.
Three generals answered to their
names. General Mcclellan was still
missing.
General Doxey. A point of or
Ger.
General Barkley. Points of or-
der are not debatable. but the Cen
eral from Kentucky would like to
have a statement of the relevant
facts for his own information,
General Bilbo. Would the mo-
ton of the General from Kentucky
be debatable after p m?
General Barkley. The morning
hour ends at pm. but it would
not be debatable after 2 pm.
General Doxey. / appreciate that,
and l can readily understand the
position CT the General from Ken
tuckv. because I am sure he is not
familiar with the facts. We have
a rule. known as Rule XIV. which !
prescribeS what shall constitute a |
quorum.
General Bilbo Will the General
yield?
General Doxev. The distinguish !
tQ otIltId dI HUH Alhoolocippi 10 SioN
to WELD to the distinguished Cen
eral from Mississippi.
General Bilbo: Speaking of nuor-
INNS. ] SlIgpeSt the absence CT one. |
hut it will take me five days to in
troduce the subject. - days TO
arone it. five TO conclude.
The Chief Clerk called the roll |
General McKellar entered the room
and was co'Fnted present
General Mcclellan. You can't do
this to me.
General Barkley. We just did.
Il lIsughter)
General DoXev. A + of cr-
der. 7 move the recon Of pre-
viouG proceedings be read. and all
misplaced commas be put back
whore they belong. SO that the Cen
eral from Tennessee will know
what's been going on. in his ab-
sence.
The record as read. all COM
plaS we're taken odt then put back |
in again.
General Barkley. ! move that !
We proceed to the consideration of
an invasion of Africa.
Generals Doxey, Bilbo and Nc
Kellar.. I object. A noint of Or
der I suggest the absence Ct
quorum.
This goes on for days and days |
lntil everyone gets so tired thev
finally decide to abandon the whole !
matter. Silly. isn't itP