Evening star., 1942-03-18


o. c. D. has drawn the broadside
fire Of critics OF all races, creeds,
colors and sexes. Right here In my
Washington diggings-a single room
which I am sharing with II small
businessmen looking for subcon-
tracts and IA patriotic grabbefs-the
feeling is that Mr.. Lands has nd
himself Of what amounts to . ma
tional goiter.
Well, at the risk of branding my.
self as the great dissenter. and hav.
ing people point me out on Pennsyl-
vania avenue as the Georgia gerque
who thinks that ping-pong and
horseshoe pitching will eventually
swing the tide Of battle our way. I
would like to take issue with the
physical fitness attackers.
NY defense of John Kelly's pro-
gram has not been Influenced by my
own physical fitness.
I am In no way q muscle man.
Compared to me, Alexander Wooll-
colt looks like q tackle from Min
nesota and II I went In the ring
with Mahatma Gandhi he would be
l to 8 in the betting to knock me out
Inside Of five rounds.
My defense Of the physical-htness
program, with its co-ordinators OF
ping-pong, horseshoe pitching. bowl
ing, marbles, archery, badminton.
code ball. miniature golf and weight
lifting, is based on simple logic.
Morale wins wars Just as much
as men and munitions.
Not only is the high morale OF our
side important; the low morale Of
the enemy is equally vital.
Let us admit that the appoints
ment Of co-ordinators for appar-
entity useless sports hurts American
morale. But, look at what 1t must
be doing to the morale Of the enemy
the Japs, the Germans and the
Italians.
Japan overruns Singapore and We
answer 1t with the appointment Of
weight-lifting co-ordinator.
Java falls and we order q national
drop-the- handkerchief week, with .
co-ordinator for every handkerchief.
The Allied nations lose the blood
lest sea battle In history and We
wave our ping pong paddles def
antly, shake our horseshoes In their
faces and return to paddle tennis
with renewed vigor.
Such utter disrespect for defeat Is
bound to shake the confidence Of
our enemies.
What manner Of people are these
Americana" they must be asking
themselves. I'VE are SIX months
ahead Of the most daring military
schedule in history, the Pacific Is
nearly ours, and those Americans,
those uncultured white men who
speak only pidgin Japanese, scorn
our triumphs with quoits, go on with
parchesi and shuttle board. Can It
be that they know something that
we do not know? Is 1t that they
really are a superior race and can
beat us with halfhearted war ef-
forts?"
See what we are doing to their
morale?
We got 'em guessing. We got 'ern
worried.
We are on the floor at the mo-
ment, the count is up to nine. but
they don't like 1t. They feel We
must have the referee fixed.
My suggestion-and 1t Is not easy
to make a suggestion in this little
room, what with little businessmen
moaning over not being able to get
any business and the grabbers f1gur-
ing the cut they are going to get
my suggestion is that this foolish
physical fitness be carried even fur
ther.
Let me embrace all sports. II
Australia goes, let's meet that chal-
lenge with organized 'possum hunt
ing. If Hawaii doesn't get enough
supplies to enable 1t to hold out, we
can counter with a gin rummy CO.
ordinator. If the battle comes to.
our very own shores, let us save one
ace in the hole. AS the enemy
swarms over the naval base at San
Diego let us warn them. put the
fear In their hearts with this simple
pronouncement:
THE dominoes co-ordinator Of
New York City told the Nation that
his program was moving ahead
without hitch, and that everything
was under control"
Distributed BY McNaught Syndicate. lnc)