Worcester Democrat and the ledger-enterprise. (Pocomoke City, Md.) 1921-1953, 1942-07-24
''Chirps'' ~
from the
Democrats Pen
from the

two weeks, and for this reason Chirps
well, Chirps didn't Chirp last week;
and, to tell the truth, the old bird
doesn't feel like warbling much this
week. Last week, could not seem to
think, even little bit. And, if there
had been any thoughts in my old
head, it was stopped up so tight they
could never have gotten out.
You know, just can't understand
how these little disturbances in ones
head-piece, ever got the name OF
"colds." have never been able to
discover anything frigid about 'em,
specially during such torrid weather
as we've been have here lately. Now
if these "colds" could, by any means
serve as air-conditioning systems for
our bodies, we might be more recon-
ciled to their periodical visits which
thew seem determined to make; and,
further-some-more, to stay just as
long as they please; I've never seen
any saw-bones who could tell 'em to
scram with any degree of success.
They are going to remain until their
visit ends-and that's all there is to
it.
And talking about "colds"-why,
thew make you all the hotter by set
ting awry all the normal functions OF
the body and making it really an eff
fort to live. It's veritable exercise
to live, move, and have your being and
you sweat like as if you were follow
ing plow-which, by the way, l ex-
pect to have to do, if this war keeps
up much longer. 1 am going to sug-
gest to the medical fraternity to-
change the name of those little dis
comforts and call 'em by some other
name; and the more nearly such name
may be related in sound and meaning
to a cuss word-all the better.
x X
Well, Sir, l had to go down to Vir-
ginia one day last week-as far as
Onancock, on some business. l was
driving my old jalopy and I've heard
about that regulation newly adopted
in that locality, prohibiting driving at
a speed over and above forty miles
and hour; this was to chime in with
the governments plan of conserving
tires and gasoline.
Now, we have, in Maryland, some
road signs, with very courteous re-
quests engraved thereon, requesting
the motoring public not to drive
faster than 40 miles; but in Virginia
there amt no such. They simply
state the speed is 40 miles, and you
go 40-or else.
Well, I've heard something about
what's happened to those down on the
Virginia Sho'" here lately. They
got keen eye in Accomac and North
ampton, and l wasn't after no chance
to debate the question of MPH with
'em. They know me pretty well, down
there; but the better they know you,
the more liberty they take with your
carcass. Money is awful scarce these
days, and I haven't as yet heard that
they had completed the air-condition-
ing systems in their lock-ups, so I was
jogging along, keeping we'll within the
law, when Swoosh! went car by me.
"Well," 1 SEE to mesilf, that chap
is in hurra to catch a boat, but
somethin' may nab him fust." l kept
on my way, like the law-abiding citi-
zen l am, when from somewhere out
of the clouds, it seemed to me, a car
doomed ahead of me, and as we met
and passed, the wind of his Rolls
Royce almost blew my old boat in the
ditch. Not long afterward, l heard
a horn blow back of me. l gave it
room, but came almost connecting
with another one back of it. / think
they must have been trying to catch
two boats or were trying the racing
qualities of their respective models.
Well, it occurred to me, those fell
lows never heard of that 40-mile de-
cree. Maybe Pm mistaken about it.
Nobody seems to be able to creep
along at that rate, so why should l?
l reckon Pm in as pretty much of a
hurry as they are, and l think I'll
step on it bit. But l happened to
look in my mirror and 1 saw some
thing coming. 1t soon caught up and
here's what / got:
"Pull over there to one side of the
road" said the cop.
what are you doing trying to
split the road open? Where's the
fire?
"Who, me?" said, Il amt splittin'
no road. I've heard about you fel-
lows, and my tub hasn't exceeded 40
since 1 entered this good old state"
THAT doesn't listen to me like good
sense" he said, 'you passed me two
minutes ago pushin' rs, and you were