davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1942-07-05
s'o-roy Fornoo eseeD

The much-feted young lady who beat
hasty retreat was Verdyn Stapleton, dancer
in Miss Rands company The club got re-
venge by going down to the theatre i'm the
evening and initiating the real Sally on the
stage in the middle of her act
Diatribe is the rule of the Round Table.
It's slogan is Speak we'll of no man present:
speak i'll Of no absent" The slogan
leaves plenty Of leeway for action.
When Olson and Johnson those two wags
Of "Helzapoppin'." were on the road, the
grand climax of their act was the scene with
all the shooting which usually scared the
rural audiences half to death.
Not so in Spokane one day when the au-
dience received the thunderclap of gunfire
in deadpan silence. The entire front row then
stood up as one man. hauled out shooting irons
Of various descriptions and calibres and fired
a thunderous volley of blanks back at the
stage causing the two comedians and assorted
chorus girls to scramble into the wings in dis
may, not to mention disrepair.
The joke on Olson and johnson was prob
ably half sheer disrespect and the other half
plain interest in shooting For the Round
Table is interested in all forms of sport from
contemporaries to mountain climbing pro-
viding the members don't have to do anything
more strenuous than argue about IT,
Inc cluo mas $4,000 invested in gags
alone and keeps another $4,000 invested in
what it calls fund to build, an ark in case
Of another flood 1t has about thousand
members in Spokane and about twice that
many scattered around the country
But all the variegated horseplay of the
past was only dress rehearsal for what was
TO come. For the Round Table has now taken
to fighting the war with vim that might
be expected.
For 20 years the Spokane Round Table
has been annoying people just for fun. Now
it's thinking of annoyance in practical terms
with one eye. cooked on the axis
Hitler M1ssoini. and Hirohito can't say
they weren't warned They'd better dip all
bundles postmarked Spokane in water before
opening
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1942-07-05

SIdItU 20 appear III opUkdIIt anu IIIt
Round Table made elaborate preparations to
entertain and initiate her
curvesome blonde whirled up TO the
club in a shiny car amidst great fanfare, was
duly initiated aboard Esmerelda the clubs
mechanical horse, and was welcomed by a
long and lowery speech from His Honor
Mayor Frank c. Sutherlin
Just as the tumult and the shouting was
dying. a messenger boy handed President Abb
telegram: Plane forced down Sorry cant
be with you Tell that old goat, the mayor,
I'll see him tonight Sally Rand"
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1942-07-05

like punting on the second down on the
enemy's four yard line.
SO when Buck took unto himself a wife
and arrived home after blissfu honeymoon
he found $1,000 hats piled up around the
house from all over the United States The
Round Table had conducted national cam
paign to get him enough hats for full sea-
sons stamping
But the explosive mentor had no more than
time to gaze on his weird assortment of head
wear in amazement than he was arrested on
a warrant charging him with "dsposng OF
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1942-07-05

stroke Wnen MS numerous coaches
forgot TO clear the course and his
ball careened off a woman's head.
The next time Bud entered tour
nament they forgot to send the
coaches and he won the National
Amateur title at Chicago.
Wards success on the links
helped to inspire the organization's
annual Firecracker Golf tourna-
ment: trench mortars shooting from
the traps, brass bands at the tees,
crocodiles roaming over the fair
ways, smoke screens obscuring the
roughs, and a sound truck playing
battle records and booming advice
are just few Of the slight distrac-
tons for golfers who additionally
quail at the twittering of a sparrow.
The club can even stand joke on
itself, once in a great while. A
couple of years ago Sally Rand was
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1942-07-05


~ the upper chamber of the u. S. Congress
practically nothing daunts him
But even the imperturbable Senator Bone
lifted curly, gray eyebrow recently when he
opened his mail one morning TO have II dis
gorge the following one set of water wings,
one grisly looking set Of false teeth, four
moth balls one leaky umbrella, used bicycle
tire one pair OF pink unmentionabes daintily
embroidered with the name Sally Rand
Nor was Senator Bone the only recipient
Of such profuse and bizarre mail Capital
Hill fairly groaned under the Niagara OF pack
ages. bundles sacks and cartons of assorted
gimcracks.
II was the biggest boon to the Post Office
Department since the days when the dime
chain-letter gag sweeping the country.
This Bundles for Congress campaign was
nothing more serious than a little gag of
the Spokane Wash. Athletic Round Table 10
twit Congress for voting itself pensions while
America was at war.
Like many another Round Table gag II
tckied the funny bone OF the country. IL not
Of the victims
Most Congressman greeted the tidal wave
OF mail engulfing their offices and overflow
ing into the broad corridors with a cold and
fshy eye.
However the little joke didn't seem to
olds Of North Carolina. Il think it Is a good
thing for the American people" he drawled
with wide grin. They need something to
laugh at In these serious times"
In any case the campaign had the de-
sired result for Congress hastily threw in the
towel and reversed itself on the pension ques-
ton.
The only trouble by then was that the Spo-
kane organization couldn't flag down its cam
paign. it had gained such dizzy momentum.
In few days thousands of bundles of assort-
ed mouse-traps. buggy whips. corset stays and
second hand hot water bottles had piled up
at the club. There wasn't any place for the
members to sit. In awe, they decided to halt
their campaign before it drove them out Of
their minds as well as Congress
To prove il was only kidding the Round
Table bought $4,000 worth of defense bonds
and called the whole thing off.
This wasn't the Round Tables first ven
ture at needing politicians
couple of years ago. former Senator c.
c. Dill was scheduled to address the club and
was greeted by large and apparently appre-
ciative audience. The POSTMASTER gave the
Senator a warm introduction and he arose
to speak amidst ringing applause
Beaming broadly, he cleared his throat and
began: Friends and fellow citizens
without a word, everyone In the room
rose and filed silently out, leaving the startled
Senator talking to himself and the echoing
reaches Of the empty dining hall
When Bng Crosby returned to Spokane for
a trumphal homecoming he brought his radio
sidekck, Bob Burns. along. The pair was
feted by the club and when Burns was called
on to speak he launched into one of his fav-
orite and oft told yarns about the ducks of
Arkansas
There were many ducks in Arkansas"
drawled Bob in his purest Van Buren, accent,
that the sky was black with them"
Just at that moment the 500 or so assem-
bled guests hurled their napkins into the air
with loud cries of "quack, quack." while MINI
rods posted in the audience blasted away at
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1942-07-05

tax commission clerk named Bud Ward for its
secretary not because he could type but be-
cause he could play golf so we'll.
In 1889 they sent three coaches with him
to the National Open golf tournament at Phil
adelphia and Bud just missed winning by one
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1942-07-05

When Bob Burns Told a Tall Story
About Ducks the Members Flung Their
Napkins I'm the Air with Loud "Quacks"
and Proceeded to Pot Them with
FIrsillade of Blanks, Much to the
Comics Discontinue.
trash on a neighbours property, creating fire
hazard and violating the coming ordinance"
Bailey was tried and paroled to the custody
of friends
The whole organization is imbued with
firm Georgian Complex 1t hired young
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1942-07-05

the m a X e = believe
ducks with pistols
and double barrelled
sh guns loaded
with blank car
tridges.
When the smoke
had cleared and the
last imaginary duck
had nuttered to the
floor, Burns was eX-
tricated from under
the table where all
six feet four Of him
was entangled with
a couple Of table
legs.
King Arthur and
his Knights of the
Round Table were
just legendary char
acters until Mark
Twain humanized
them in his Con
necticut va n k e e."
The modern knights
are going the IA
nous humorist one
better and probably
keeping poor King
Arthur revolving in
his grave with a
soft whirr. But they
are also doing more
than raising slap
happiness TO the
dignity of a ma
tional institution.
If there is any
thing the club likes
to do better than
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1942-07-05


thousand under-privileged children
to football game or the movies.
When the unsuspecting sponsors
OF a polo game announced that a
whole automobile full could get in
for one dollar admission. the club
jammed 80 members into a hired
truck and rolled majestically in on
a single ticket.
The moving spirit behind all this
is a bumptious black-eyed lawyer
named Joe Abb
No less an authority than Bob
Ripley called one of Joe's gags the
best practical joke of 1889. That
was the one on Buck Bailey
Buck is the famed terrible-tem-
pered line coach Of the Washington
State football team who is noted
for his habit Of taking his hat and
stamping ii to ribbons when his
team makes a slight tactical error
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1942-07-05

give the figurative not foot" to it's distin-
guished guests, it is to just plain give
1t has given away on toward a quarter of
million dollars to orphans. colleges. and
athletic functions. For the past three years
1t has donated $1,000 monthly to various
The Glasgow courier. [volume] (Glasgow, Mont.) 1913-current, 1942-12-03
THOENY
By Ruby E. Stubcr

Roy Hillman brought out ]. M
Thoeny from Hinsdale Saturday.
Lloyd Hunter came up from
Hinsdale Sunday accompanied BY
Mrs. Ralph Lsaacson and son Bruce
Harley Hunter drove to Opheim
Sunday. He was accompanied by his
daughter Mary and Mary Stuber
He returned home Monday with a
load of coal from Glentana.
Allen Stuber drove to Glentana
Wednesday for a lead Of coal for
Ralph Isaacson.
Mr.. and Mrs. Walter Irgens and
son Billy, Bob and Mary Hunter
drove out Thursday for Thanksgiv-
ing dinner at the Harley Hunter
home.
Frank Cradle made a trip 10
Hinsdale for medical care.
Fred Munger and Allen Stuber
roasted a 80 = pound turkey for
Thanksgiving dinner. Guests were
Louis Ackland, Lou Balkie, Ben
Martin, the R. j. Sullivan family
and the A. j. Stuber family. E.
A. Allie spent Thanksgiving with
his family in Opheim. Alex accomp-
anied his father home.
Mr.. and Mrs. Ralph Isaacson and
son Bruce and house guest James
The Glasgow courier. [volume] (Glasgow, Mont.) 1913-current, 1942-12-03

Deranlean drove to Grenora, N. D.,
Thursday morning to spend a few
days with relatives.
Fred Munger, Helen Sullivan.
Mary, John and Allen Stuber and
H. A. Davenport attended the old
time dance at Opheim Thursday
night.
Lloyd Hunter brought out a wind
charger for j. M. Theeny. Mrs
Thoeny. John Stuber and Doris,
Dorcthea and Barbara Roger came
out with him to spend their vaca-
ton.
Mr.. and Mrs. Robert Stein spent
Sunday with her mother. Mary and
Franklin accompanied them, re-
turning to school.
A card party for the benefit OF
Red Cross will be held Dec. 5 at
the Stuber home. Everyone Is in
vited.
Mrs. Lawrence johnson drove up
from Glasgow for her son Larry
Tuesday. He spent ten days with
his grandmother.
The Glasgow courier. [volume] (Glasgow, Mont.) 1913-current, 1942-12-03
The 35.kaile Speed Limit

ing signs at "a cost of Severa.
thousands of dollars. But because
of failure Of many states to cooper
ate in this speed restriction, and
upon recommendation Of the Ba-
ruch committee, the federal govern
ment has now established a nation
wide IS mile speed limit, together
with mileage rationing and tire in
spection.
Every person driving a motor We
hicle upon cur highways has now
been required to make an applica-
tfon for a gas rationing book, and
in so doing they have all agreed to
drive at a speed not to exceed 35
miles per hour.
Therefore. it is felt by the Men
tana highway department that all
persons have been sufficiently in
formed as to the present speed limit
and that it would be an unneces-
sary expenditure of money and
material to post our highways with
35 mile signs.
We knew that most of cur people
will observe this limit and the
highway patrol will do all within
its power to enforce said limit
against those few who fail to CO.
operate.
Let Us all work together toward
final victory.
The Glasgow courier. [volume] (Glasgow, Mont.) 1913-current, 1942-12-03
BEAVERTON
BY Mrs. j. ". Barnard

Mr.. and Mrs. Barney Reynolds
left for Bozeman Saturday after
SPENDING two weeks here visiting
relatives.
B. J. Menge made a business trip
to Malta Monday.
B. J. Menge, J. w. Barnard and
James Jernigan drove to Glasgow
Tuesday On business.
]. w. Barnard get a car of coal
this week. He had no trouble SELL
ing it.
Mr.. and Mrs. Bill Fisher and
family had dinner at the H. K
Brooke hcme Thanksgiving day.
Mr.. and Mrs. Lloyd Barnard and
children Stanley, Ellen and baby
Alice, drove to Poison to spend
Thanksgiving with Lloyd's parents,
Mr.. and Mrs. j. o. Barnard,
Our teacher, Violet Cool. spent
the week end In Havre with rela-
tives.
Mr.. and Mrs. Robert Brooke and
children James Hugh and Dale
Stewart. of Bozeman spent several
days with Roberts parents, Mr.. and
Mrs. H. H. Brooke, last week.
Mr.. and Mrs. John C. Tverberg
and children Joyce and John Of
Glasgow visited friends and rela-
tives here Sunday.
Mrs. Eldon Gilmore's mother,
Mrs. Kendall. Is visiting at the Gil
more home this week.
About five inches of snow fell
here last night and it is still snow
ing. 1t is the first big snow of the
season.
The Glasgow courier. [volume] (Glasgow, Mont.) 1913-current, 1942-12-03
New State Bulletin
On Sugar Substitutes

BOHEMIAN - sugar Substitutes
and Their Uses" is the title Of a
new circular issued by the Montana
Agricultural Experimental station
and available to all homemakers
through the office of county ex-
tension agents. Written by DR.. Jes-
sic E. Richardson, head of home
economics research for the expert
ment station. the publication tells
how to use honey, corn syrup, scrg-
hum or medium dark molasses in
place Of sugar. The circular also
contains some tested recipes in
which the sugar substitutes are
used.
The Glasgow courier. [volume] (Glasgow, Mont.) 1913-current, 1942-12-03
BY COL. CHARLES L. SHERIDAN
Supervisor, Montana Highway
Patrol

Conservation and production art
key words in our National war eff.
fort. and conservation OF rubber is
perhaps, the most essential of al
these efforts. We are all more Oh
less aware that most Of our preciou.
rubber supply is now in the hands
of the Jap, but I am sure that
zone Of us vert aware of Just no "
acute was the situation before the
report of the Presidents fact-find-
ing committee was published on
Sept. 10.
This report bluntly stated, 1--WE
find the existing situation to be so
dangerous that unless corrective
measures are taken Immediately the
country will face both a military
and a civilian collapse. The naked
facts present a warning that dare
not be ignored"
The remedy, of course. is conserv-
alton of the rubber that we now
have. and ninety percent Of the
rubber that We have here, is ON cars
have in this country, Is on the cars
in the hands Of cur people. Ours
is a nation geared to wheels. We
cannot go back to the horse and
buggy days.
Our whole economy would break
down, and with it cur war effort
if suddenly all of our motor We
hicles were to 60 out of commission.
This would be a catastrophe of the
first magnitude, yet, We face just
this situation if We do not use due
diligence In the care and preserv-
alton of our tires.
AS a conservation guide to our
people, the federal government first
asked all of the states to establish
a 40 mile per hour speed limit,
which Montana did through procla-
melton by the governor and posting
of our highways with 40 mile warn
The Glasgow courier. [volume] (Glasgow, Mont.) 1913-current, 1942-12-03
Johnson Family
Has Reunion at
Cenevieve Home
BY Courier Correspondent


GENEVIEVEAThe home of Mr..
and Mrs. Claude Wortz. was the
scene of a Johnson family reunion
on Thanksgiving. Mrs. Wortz's par
ents. Mr.. and Mrs. Ed johnson en-
joyed the presence of all of their
children except one, MRS. Raymond
Luck of Roland, Iowa.
Those present were Mr.. and Mrs
Lawrence Johnson and son Larry,
Mr.. and Mrs. Amos jacobson and
son Eddy. MI. and Mrs. Ernest
Johnson and sons, Mr.. and Mrs.
Lester johnson and son Denny.
Herman johnson, Ed Johnson Jr.,
Luella johnson and Mr.. and Mrs.
Claude Wortz and sons.
A bountiful dinner was enjoyed.
The Glasgow courier. [volume] (Glasgow, Mont.) 1913-current, 1942-12-03

Courier want ads get resultsl
The Glasgow courier. [volume] (Glasgow, Mont.) 1913-current, 1942-12-03
FATHER DIES

John Grayson, 70, of Shaunavon,
Sask, father of John Grayson Jr.,
Of Glasgow, died at Shaunavon,
NOV. II. He had formerly conduct
ed a mercantile business at Ante
lope in Sheridan county. He had
been in failing health eight years.
The Glasgow courier. [volume] (Glasgow, Mont.) 1913-current, 1942-12-03
SHERIDAN AGENT QUITS

BRENTWOOD - Robert R a S.
mussen, Sheridan county agent
since 1897 resigned his office here
effective NOV. 81.
Rasmussen plans to enlist in the
United States navy, and will leave
soon for duty.
Rasmussen's successor is Billie G
Jansen, "a graduate of Montana
State college and a resident Of
Powder River county.
The Glasgow courier. [volume] (Glasgow, Mont.) 1913-current, 1942-12-03
GO TO FORT DOUGLAS

Myron E. Hodapp Of Glasgow,
who was indicted into the army at
Butte, Nov. Dc, went directly from
there to Fort Douglas, Utah, &C
companied by George Novinger Of
Glasgow, who will enter an Off
GERS training class.
The Glasgow courier. [volume] (Glasgow, Mont.) 1913-current, 1942-12-03

Richly styled and unmatched
for real comfort features.
Genuine premier wire coil
spring base. Reversible
spring filled cushion. Tail
ored in beautiful durable
fabrics. Choice of popular
colors.
The Glasgow courier. [volume] (Glasgow, Mont.) 1913-current, 1942-12-03
PLEDGES PHI SIGMA

Jere Davis, son of Mr. and MIS-.
w. B. Davis of Glasgow. was pledged
by the Phi Sigma fraternity at the
state university at Missoula last
week.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1942-01-23

that during the % years he was
. police officer he tried to give the
public the best possible service in
the most friendly manner.
A native Of Pierce county. Lang
seth has lived in Tacoma A. years.
is married. has three children all
Of whom attended local public
schools. and owns his own home at
213 So. seth st In his platform
statement. the candidate said.
During my service as a patrol
man in every part OF the city, dur
ing my time on special detail, while
/ was license inspector and during
my term as chief of police, my
Ideal was to do my duty in a SYM
pathetic and friendly way. II I
am elected commissioner of public
safety, l VIII conduct that office
in keeping with this same ideal.
My first official act when I be-
came chief of police in January,
1889. was to protect the civil serv-
ice rights of members of the de-
partment and thereby restore the
harmony essential to an efficient
police department. At the same
time l removed a police censorship
80 that the public could by fully
Informed of the operations of the
police department.
Pledges Respect, Goodwill
'My platform as candidate for
public safety commissioner is the
pledge Of an administration that
will merit the confidence of the
members of the police and fire
departments. will earn the respect
and goodwill Of the general public,
and the cooperation of other
branches Of the city government
and other governmental agencies.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1942-01-23

BY common sense sdministra-
ton. much can - achieved with
out increasing expenses. This
makes II most important fer an
experienced man 10 head the public
safety department The people vii
be burdened down with taxes TO
carry on the var effort and It is
my pledge not 10 add TO that load
BY unnecessary expenses. How
ever. a. Was The case during my
term as chief % police. VII co.
operate in every way with civilian
defense officers 20 bring to Ia
coma those safeguards necessary
n = time Of grave emergency.
In this statement Of policy.
there are a few specific points
wish TO bring out:
Il I VIII be commissioner Of
the fire department as well as OF
the police department. The Ia
coma fire department has excel
lent leadership and q fine person.
mel. and with a fair deal in the
Of available funds for
the purchase Of much needed
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1942-01-23
Pensions Planned
For Congressman

WASHINGTON - Congressman
who haven't had the foresight TO
lay away a little nest egg may not
have 10 worry any more.
The public's chosen representa-
tives have all but completed action
on = little bill which, with minor
reservations, assures them a life
time income at your Uncle Sam
uels expense.
The exact amount of the pen
sion would depend upon the length
of service. but in numerous cases
in both houses it would be around
81 900 a year. and in some cases
IT would be even more.
The measure was passed by the
senate on a roll call vote of ~
to "a.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1942-01-23
Medical Commissions
For College Students

WASHINGTON-All junior and
senior students in good standing
in medical colleges were advised
Thursday by the federal security
agency to apply Immediately for
army and navy medical corps COM
missions.
Students holding commissions
are not subject TO call under selec-
tive service and the army and navy
will defer calling them until they
have completed their medical edu-
cation and at least u months of
interneship.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1942-01-23

rnanity ~ th< city. "A hss e~<n
ny policy while ehi<f - peiice.
I viii esantinas to st<st each eaFa-
unnity regularly. - uzees wsth ~
taxpayers n their places - husl-
ne... IN their civic gfuur. snd n
their henaes snd .ill bring their
problems before tie city eeanen
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1942-01-23

80 hanesi snH frsns xs.russ<on.
.na prompt setion
a ! ~ - independent rsn1<-
dsts. sssndlHx sq.zsF<iv - NJ r><-
art - = tfl.<n AT a. e<fi=<f.
I've ely premises thai I make ln
this campaign wi - usa~ - ne
voters q. . Nknls
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1942-01-23

equipment. vii aiNsSs maintain
IL high position. Dung the next
few years when Tacoma xiil -
the center ~ production q many
vital war materials. the impor-
lance - the fire department can.
rot - emphasized too much.
a The traffic problem IN Ia
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1942-01-23
Try This Old Home-Mixed
Cough Relief. Surprising!

pound of proven Ingredients. IN con
ceniratso for m vel known for
prompt acton IN throat and bron-
cnlzl irritattOnz-
Put the PlnsI into a pint bottle.
and add your syrup. Thus sou make
Z fun PINT q really splendid cough
syrup. and you get about four times a.
mach Tor your money. u never sposiA.
and children love - pleasant TASTE
And for quick relief RS a wonder
i loossns the phleEm- s0ofnsE the irri-
fafed membranes eslEss The soreness
makes breathing easy. ana lets you
get rszfful sleep Just try b.. ana n not
pleased. your money VII Be refunded
adv.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1942-01-23

coma can - greatly sided ~ 80
operation between TIE public SAFE
" department ard ths public
works department. snmcthink that
has scen lacking in TIE past ~
coordination - the efforts ~ the
twe departments IN = street build.
lng and traffic control program
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1942-01-23

- csn scive Tscenss trafflc
nrchlenas I pledge such . unifted
program al - me - nv first
zsts. 7 elected eomnlsslnnsr ~
pahIic safety.
=. Because ~ my police Nurk
have cente = know enc citiasns
and the prehlsnas 81 every ccsa-