davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1942-10-08
The On|ooker

TT IS q pleasure 10 repor
i that one OF mankind's big
gest pests, one that ranks right
along with the boll-weevil, the
common cold and people who
always take the best piece OF
white meat when the chicken is
passed. will not be with US much
longer.
We refer to the fresh air
fend.
The combination OF Jack Frost
and National Fuel Conservation
will take care OF him.
II will be Just as unpatriotic
- raise a window this winter
when IL doesn't have 10 he
raised as Il will be 10 drive so
miles an hour in your car or TO
hoard rationed food.
OF the passing Of the
Y fresh air fiend came 10 me
IN a letter from the office OF the
bituminous coal nsumers
council in Washington OF which
Outher Harr. one-time Penn
football player, is head.
Mr.. Hairs letter. which was
literally sprinkled with quotes
from fuel conservation litera-
ture, really sounds the knell for
those ladies and gentlemen who
have never been content 10 let
the outdoors stay outdoors
where il belongs.
We've all been tortured or
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1942-10-08

The hfontrV, the infantry, With
dirt behind their ears,
The infantry, the infantry, can
drink their Wei1ht in beers,
The cavalry, the artillery and
the engineers,
Can nsUer beat the iHfGntrg IN
hundred thousand years!
old Army Song.
(Above recalls that some lines
in the World War / song. Mad
amoiselle of Arminetieres" went:
Il didn't care what became of
me, that's why l joined the in
fantry. Hinkey, dinkey parleZ
vous" Many military experts
claim that despite the changes in
methods of warfare the infantry
is still the most important
branch OF the armed forces
EVDD
MARIE MoNTEZ. Red-haired
AVA danseuse. Offers a number
called The Dance of the Single
Veil" 1t was in the opera "Sa-
lone" that Mary Garden did
The Dance of the Seven Wells"
Phil Spitalny. Justly cele-
brated leader of an all-girl or
chestra. The best all-feminine
orchestra specializing in both
classical and popular music was
the "Fadettes" Of Boston. This
orchestra had a feminine leader,
Caroline Nichols. II was sue
cessful for 80 years when 1t dis
banded.
Lily Dache. Of the world Of
fashion. Says she is against
crazy" hats for women because
"men do not like this type Of
hat"
The trouble with Lily is that
she doesn't understand men.
Men don't know anything about
women's hats.
Furthermore, most men are
not particularly concerned as TO
whether women wear crazy"
hats or not.
In fact some men think this
eccentric headgear is good idea
because il tends 10 keep women,
especially wives. in good humor.
GO AN Atlanta. Ca, judge
~ granted 257 divorces in a
four-hour court session. Some
speed that. It's better than a
divorce a minute! 1t breaks the
Reno. New, record. which is
seven divorces in 30 minutesl
Just reading an article about
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1942-10-08

cago and Los Angeles bachelors
who claim 10 have such a diff
cult time in getting rid OF
matrimonially inclined females.
HOW are you doing as an arm
H chair admiral? How about
your war news interpreting?
Do YOU do your own or let
some broadcaster with a ring
ing voice handle it for you?
Anyway, how are you fixed
for fancy facts?
Did you know the Soviet
Union covers one-seventh OF the
land surface of the globe and
contains nearly one-tenth OF the
human race7 And that IL Is
approximately half of Europe
and one-third of Asia?
Have you kept in mind that
the Soviet Union at one point
is only 36 miles from United
States territory.
That is at the Boring Strait
in Alaska.
Do you keep remembering
that the Russ ian strategy
throughout the country's known
history always has been TO yield
territory 10 keep its armies
going?
TN A LONDON club a talka-
Il tive, egotistical and bombastic
bore said:
81 always believe In fighting
an enemy with his own
weapons"
G.. K. Chesterton asked:
How long does II take you to
sting q wasp"
AS for the name Patricia. IL
was originally used by the Eng
lish to give to princesses who
were in some way related TO
Ireland.
So if your name Is Kelly.
O'Brien, O'Grady or Casey why
not call your next daughter
Patricia?
Speaking of Nyack, N. T..
which is on the Hudson River,
Helen Hayes said:
"The village I live in Is one Of
the loveliest In the world"
/ agree with her. So does my
Girl Friend. We spent our first
year of married life in cottage
high above the Hudson near
Nyack.
We still think that was the
best house in which we ever
have lived.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1942-10-08

. ADY ASHLEY'S intimates
- wouldn't be surprised at all
if ID. Fairbanks wi dow and
Woolworth Donahue merged.
ANY differences the George
Vanderbilts had earlier this sum-
mer have been mended.
Society hears that j a m es
Cromwells daughter. Christine,
and her groom are editing a
story.
Some blue bookers were
taken" when a noblewoman re-
turned TO England last week.
She allegedly skipped out on
friends she visited-neglecting
to pay a $500 phone bill.
Norma Shearer. visiting her
husband lin training at Phoenix,
Ariz). enriched bond rally
there. She bought $500. 900
worth-bringing her total TO
400 Gs.
Democratic chieftains privately
believe that California Illinois
and New York will go Repub
for the first time since 1882.
Louis tSatch) Armstrong. the
tooter, got his final decree from
Alpha in Chicago. He'll we'd
Lucille Wilson, a n. Y. hoofer.
Mike Todd and the Star a.
Garter" hacker slugged 1t out
backstage.
THE pay-off for liberals in
l. New York: A. A. Berle Jr.,
the asst sec'y Of state. is re-
naming in the Democratic Party
but is voting for Alfange.
It's another granddaughter for
General Stilwell via the f. Eas-
Textbooks of Carmel. Cal.
It's a girl for the Ted merry
Macs) McMichaels. At the
Methodist Hospital. North Hol-
lywood.
Capt. c. Wanda autographed
his photo to his recently d.
wprced wife, 10 wit:
ITO Suzy, who IL certainly
worth fighting for but not
with"
Marilyn and Michael (the dane
ers) have split. She will mid
dle-aisle il with J. Reeves. owner
OF the Ridgefield Coal firm.
The mayors Office has no in
tention of curfewing the towns
night life. Said spokesman;
"Only the army can do that
and IL isn't thinking Of It."
Very shortly Federal action
will be taken against Russian
Fascists in n. Y. The disclosures
will be sensational.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1942-10-08
Only One Man
and IS Women

going on among them but 1t
seems they have their own inter-
band administration which is
very interesting because among
other things a committee of five
has TO be notified by a girl II
she has a date with a young
gentleman.
presume the committee con-
siders the nature of the date
and the male party thereto be-
fore it consents to an outing.
though Spitalny says he has
never heard of a date being
negatived, which he is inclined
to attribute to the perspicuity
of his ladies.
They range from Is to %
years in age and many of them
are quite attractive-in fact,
think I should say most Of
them-and there never has been
a hint OF notoriety attached TO
any of them, WHICH is some
thing else in which Spitalny
takes great pride.
1 think he puts this down to
his own judgment Of character
in picking the gals. They come
from all parts of the country.
Some are collegians.
Spitalny had male bands be-
fore he took up with the girls
and he asserts that the latter
are not nearly as wearing on a
conductors disposition as the
gents. I will have to let you
take Spitalny's word for that.
Copyright. is42, by King Features
Distributed by International News servics
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1942-10-08
Strength Ebbing

We hadn't eaten for a week
since devouring the coconut we
got on the twenty-frst day. II
was now the twenty-eighth day.
and what strength we had left was
Iebbing faster. We began TO ap-
preciate the luck we had had
when we caught the birds and fish.
Those chances never came again.
Genes eyes were the sharpest
in the boat. In his afternoon
watch. on this twenty-eighth day
he raised the coconut alarm again.
Instantly Tony and I had out the
paddles, and made our way cross
wind to where the big brown nut
rose and dipped on the swapping
blue waves. shifted my shoe
paddle TO the inboard hand and
scooped the prize into the boat.
The fiber was softened by the
water, as we had found with the
other We clawed the covering
off with pliers and greedy fingers
We drank, and wolfed the rich
white meat as fast as we could
slice it loose. We divided the haul
In equal shares, measuring with
the knife. We scraped the inside
clean, unwilling TO waste the
slightest speck.
When the meal was over we re.
hashed IL in detail, commenting on
the quality the texture, and taste
We tried to estimate its age, and
argued over the distance it must
have fioated from the island
where il grew.
We speculated on the island
itself, its probable position. and
whether the Japs might have Il
We thought we must be nearing
land, and we made little bets or
when we'd find another coconut
and who would see IL first.
But that was our last food.
Ito BE Continued)
Copyright. 1e42, by Henry Holt Co,
j Distributed By King Features Syn, Inc.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1942-10-08

a young persons first formal
date" How about your first
formal date?
/ remember mine we'll / wore
a borrowed tuxedo and tan
shoes.
1 was a rotten dancer at that
time, too.
AS told you before I never
did learn how 10 dance cor
rectly until a young woman
snapped at me:
do you know why you can't
dance: You talk too much.
Listen to the music!"
WHAT did the girl who be-
w came your wife think of
you after the first meeting I
have been reliably informed that
after the first time my Girl
Friend met me somebody asked
her:
what do you think Of him."
She said very emphatically:
az think he Is n very fresh
young man."
In the past in some countries
in Europe men and women indi-
Gated a desire TO be married by
wearing a ring on the first
finger of the left hand.
If a man or woman had no
desire to be married they wore
the ring on the little finger of
the left hand.
There's an idea for those Chi
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1942-10-08
BY Damon RunyOn

number of ladies of varying
tempers. His brother, Leo
Spitalny, is a famous musical
director.
CPITALNY, who is now I'M
~ married. though he has
been involved in matrimony, has
a big name on the air and in
movie theaters. His band plays
only for radio and the picture
houses. and has never had ball
room engagement, now a popu-
lar field of the male bands, his
is ose of the oldest and the
largest organizations of the kind
n'the country and he is the only
man connected with it in any
way, outside of the booking.
1t has been in existence nine
years and about 10 of the girls
have been with it from the
start. The other originals re-
tired through marriage or to go
into other occupations. A few
of the present members are
married but their husbands do
not travel with the band, which
is largely cooperative in its
business functioning.
The members get scale sala-
ries at all times. the profits
being held in a common fund for
distribution later on, usually
around Christmas.
CPITALNY says he never
~ bothers with the private
affairs of his musicians in any
way and seldom knows what is
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1942-10-08
BY Henry McLemOrs

bored or both by a fresh air
nend.
He will never believe that air
was intended 10 stay out in the
yard or IN the trees or any
where but cooped up in a house.
No matter how cold IL is out
side. he wants the windows
raised so that the frigid air can
come bounding into the living
room and freeze the ankles and
shins of those normal setIls Who
don't like freezing temperatures.
We had one al our house last
year.
He visited for two weeks and.
before he left, he had the rest
Of us mixing automobile anti
freeze with ctr coffee in an
effort to keep alive.
MR.. HARRIS letter gave six
vi NAYS 10 keep a house warm
with reduced fuel consumption
and AT least five of them were
aimed directly at the fresh air
fiend.
He recommends, for example,
that bedroom wi dows be
opened at night only an inch or
two or better still be kept
closed altogether as all but the
most tightly built homes will
admit enough air for a COM
plete change every few hours.
He also advises that any one
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1942-10-08

Our minds were growing dull
1t was a physical effort 10 talk
and we did little OF IL. We shook
ourselves TO brief menta
awakening when / marked the
calendar on the gunwhale, count.
ing the days backward one by one
and came TO 81.
Hey, boy" ! called, trying TO
sound jovial-but l guess 1
wasn't fooling myself Its our
anniversary! We've been In the
water month--the twenty
eighth day began a minute ago"
Tony's lips moved, but his face
and eyes were without expression
Murray" he whispered tone
lessly.
/ looked at Gene. His lips were
stretched. He thought he was
smiling.
Next morning sharks wert
about-big ones. l didn't like this
very much. 1 was afraid one o.
these seven-foot monsters would
rush against the boat, which
might result in any of number
Iof misfortunes. / watched then
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1942-10-08
The Brighter Side

DILL SPITALNY is chunky
Il built fellow with a shock of
wiry iron gray hair that is COM
mencing TO edge back from his
forehead who conducts a band
composed of 35 females and I
picked him as a man who ought
to know all about trouble.
One female is generally sup
posed TO be sufficient trouble for
any individual gentleman, two
are popularity regarded as an
overload. Consequently it
seemed TO me that guy
handling 35 dolls all at once
figured TO be the greatest
encyclopedia on sorrow from
this source since old Solomon.
You can imagine my surprise
when Spitalny told me that he
had no trouble with his musical
danes ae all and when 1 de-
manded an explanation Of the
worried expression that seems
to possess his countenance at all
times. he said il was due to
things outside the sphere of
music, including his studies of a
card game called gin rummy.
Spitalny was once noted in
band circles along Broadway as
a high player at cards, which
did him no good financially, but
since taking up gin rummy he
has reduced his operations to a
very small scale. He was born
in Odessa in Russia. is about 43
years old, and of rather gentle
disposition despite his long and
constant contact with a large
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1942-10-08
CHAPTER 10

Calm follows the storm: we
found it so. We rested. l was
sore in every bone and muscle. ]
felt as if l had been logged.
The sea whose fury we had felt
was dreamy now, ominiously so,
like tired and resting wild beast.
We felt some apprehension that it
might wake at any moment and
claw us down again.
The last encounter had left us
with greatly lessened strength,
and we were afraid that the next
time one of US. at least, might not
get back into the boat.
We lay some time. recuperating
slowly. But the captain has job
to do, l thought, so pulled myself
TO the forward thwart and studied
our position.
Tony reused eventually, and
Gene.
Guess I'll overhaul the gear"
Tony said. opening the tool
pocket. While he scraped with
a fingernail at fiecks of rust on
the knife, Gene looked about for
fish. but they weren't venture
some today.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1942-10-08
.
Fresh Air Pest
Now UnpatriOtic

who insists on keeping the win
dows open at night close his
bedroom door tightly, place a
rug or blanket before the door
and turn off the heat.
Why not kill two birds with
one stone Zone being the fresh
air fiend) by wrapping him in
a blanket and placing him
alongside the door.
A few nights of sleeping
there. with the drafts frosting
his nightshirt buttons, would
either Kill him or cure him.
ONE OF Mr.. Harris suggestions
" on how 10 keep warm in a
house that is under 90 degrees
fascinates us.
Here il is. II you feel cold
during the day. just join the
Riddles in the playroom.
- Children Under 4 spend mitch
time on the floor where tenn
peratures are several degrees
lower than at the shoulder
height OF a sitting or standing
adult.
That not only fascinates us
but puzzles us as well.
What kind OF suggestion is
a suggestion that advises you 10
keep warm by dropping on your
hands and knees 10 place
that is colder?
II seems TO me Mr.. Harr
should suggest getting as near
the ceiling as possible.
Also. what will il do TO the
dignity of the American adult
TO have 10 string beads and ar
range building blocks TO keep
warm?
Also, think of the wear and
tear on trousers if, every time
a man feels cold, he has to drop
10 the floor and run about the
room on all fourS, pretending
he is a bear or a tiger or a
lion.
4 Nd what about those fami-
n lilies where there are no
children? Are they 10 build
playrooms any way just in case
Of an extremely cold snap?
Mr.. Harr also suggests that
the Saturday night bath be re-
vived with Americans using hot
water sparingly until that night
when they can really go TO
town with soap and water
That will suit us. We were A
Saturday night bather for a
long time.
Well do we remember those
Saturday nights at Grandma
when we were plopped in a tub
in the kitchen and given the
works.
Being the youngest and with
no seniority rights. weN always
were about the last TO battle.
That meant very little hot
water-a saucepan or two and
that's about all.
But Auntie, who was in
charge of bathing the children,
made up for that by scrubbing
you so hard that you were never
cold.
Auntie's fetish was ears.
She scrubbed ours back in
those days that are gone for
ever so that until this daY they
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1942-10-08
Turns SinHOHsIH

yards, turned sinuously on the sur
face and with one powerful thrust
of his heavy tail shot himself
straight back like a torpedo. He
twisted 10 a stop perhaps a foot
away and seemed to look me right
in the eye, his wicked teeth show
ing.
l hauled off and banged him
square on the nose with my good
right fist. Well. that was one sur
prised leopard shark. He whirled
and whipped away like a scared
monkey. / guess he didn't come
back.
Tony had seen the whole show.
He reached over and raised my
right hand. The winnah an still
champeen!" he croaked.
| My hand was tingling. and the
knuckles hurt. / felt them ten
derby, 1 hadn't injured my hand,
but ! had hurt IL, and the knuckles
ached for a few minutes. The
sharks nose had no more give
than block of wood. That's
exactly what il was like-as if
had taken a good hard punch at a
Telephone pole. But chased him
away.
We settled down for a while
then. The sea was rough and
was afraid the boat would tip
over.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1942-10-08

other Old Fashioned. Please"
from a film. But permitted
Coles Did I Get Stinkin' at
the Club Savoy" as substitute.
How come Lena Horne isn't
billed in the MGM adverts Of
Panama Hattie" She's de-
lightful.
One OF the famed playboys
has an IS" on his windshield.
To drive from night club to
theater?
The Provost Marshals office
at Washington has bagged a 5th
columnist who held a key job
for 3 years at Boiling Field
The story will break any edition.
One OF the coast public rela-
tions titans is involved in that
Park Avenue canteen inVestl-
CATION.
Sid Silver's crush on Sheila
RYAN is being smothered by
millionaire Howard Hughes.
lack WARNER JR. furloughs
d with Patsy Mace and doesn't
have TO promise any screen tests,
either.
Marlene Dietrich's legs are In
bandages again.
Edge of Darkness" corking
anti-Nazi epic. will be distrib-
uted in Norway, etc, via the
underground.
j. Hylton Smyth, the Jap
agent-editor of Living Age, was
on Transient Home Relief IN
1885.
The Benny Goodman-Ted Flo
Rito feud is on.
Bere aved Virginia Bruce
widowed twice. wants 10 quit
pictures. Now. what sense does
that make, lady?
Tony DeMarco is dickering 10
take over Fefe's piece OF Monte
Carlo when the army takes over
Fefe.
Rise Stevens, the thrush. and
her husband are toying with a
decision.
They say Author Hargrove, OF
the best-seller, will marry an
editor of Mademoiselle mag.
VIRGINIA Ian G. d ON Is
v breathing again. Because OF
Pvt. Lynn Roland.
Max Haas. the photog (he got
those amazing opposite murder
shots), and Sally Pepper were
blended in Jersey.
The newest mag will be she"
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1942-10-08

Hotel, night club, anything"
agreed.
might club-boy" Tony said.
eff l win I don't wanta collect
In Honolulu. I'll take mine In
Frisco"
IF get IL, it's gonna cost you
guys plenty" Gene declared.
A lively discussion started.
had been around" more than the
boys-anyway, they were younger
but none OF us was a nigh
rounder.
We talked awhile about tn,
famous night clubs we had reaC
about in gossip columns, and each
of us had a favorite restaurant
somewhere. We agreed. however
that the winner had the say, anC
the sky was the limit.
At length talk faded, and VIZ
tried to rest.
The twenty-sixth day dawnec
YEARLY. That last eight-hour row
left us weak. / know, at least
that I was never so strong again
Today noted with dismay tina
my feet and legs were growing
numb.
Long days. long nights.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1942-10-08

Auntie's fetish was ears.
She scrubbed ours back in
: those days that are gone for
ever so that until this day they
shine like mirrors.
Distributed by MeSaught Syndicate. Inc.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1942-10-08

closely and somewhat appre-
hensively as they circled about,
their dorsal fins out OF the water.
DfscOHrGgPs Him
Gene would have taken the
knife and tried TO stab the first
one that came within reach, but
I discouraged this. With these
big. tough babies, il would be a
lucky stab indeed that caught one
in a vulnerable spot, if there were
any.
l thought the knife was hardly
big enough-it was about Boy
Scout size. A hard jab against
the sharks leathery hide might
even break the blade or knock the
knife from Aldrich's hand. Any
harm to the knife, l felt. would
be a major loss. 1t was our only
weapon now; we would have 10
use il carefully.
"Oughta get a meal" Gene
muttered. He put the knife away
and said no more about it. All
Gene was willing to talk about
now was food.
One big shark was cutting close
To the boat. l Strengthened my
legs painfully and leaned over the
side, watching him. He looked as
though he was up 10 some devil
ment, and i didn't like IL at all.
The other sharks had moved
some distance away, probably
scouting for easier prey than us
but this one huge beast, specklec
like a leopard. evidently still saw
possibilities and hung around.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1942-10-08

The old gray albatross was with
US again. Things were getting
back TO normal.
I'VE aren't getting anywhere.
boys" / said. In the still and
sultry air the raft sat like lily
pad.
Genes dunking had put some
life in him. Let's row awhile" he
said. Bad hand and all, the boy
had nerve.
Westward no." Tony said.
We rowed westward for eight
hours. Then, as evening came, we
again picked up an east wind, as
We had before.
Our evenig mayer always raised
Genes hopes.
Wonder who'll he first TO see
land? he remarked.
Tony rolled over on his back
and raised his knees to his chin.
whoever does oughta get a
party" he said.
Tell you what" I suggested.
whoever first sights an island
or q ship or something that
rescues us, or is the means by
which we're rescued, wins a din
ner from the other two"
Anything he wants." Gene
stipulated.
He can pick the place.. Tony
added.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1942-10-08
by Il. ". DurIing

DsGiSut,d BY King Features syndicate, Inc.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1942-10-08

Calm follows the storm welclosey and somewhat appre
found il hensivey they circled
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1942-10-08
On Broadway
BY Walter WincheIl
TrsdeM Mark egts Copyright.

Trade Mark Registered. cOpyrIsh, 49,
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1942-10-08

Copyright 1912, by Henry Holt q Co,
Distributed BY King Features Syn, Inc.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1942-10-08
Minds DuIIing

Long days, long nights.