Jackson advocate., 1942-01-31
Bigger Gun In His Pocket Goes To Take His First Job
Fear And Emptiness FIT
Tough Native Son Hero

the middle of the floor and tumbled
forward.
That's enough now, Bigger"
Doc said, laughing Jack and G. H.
also laughed. Bigger rose and faced
them, holding his hurt hand. His
eyes were red and he stared with
speechless hate. Just keep laugh
ing" Bigger said again, taking out
his knife.
Watch what you're doing now,"
Doc cautioned. "Aw. Bigger"
Jack said, backing away toward
the rear door. "You done spoiled
things now" G. H. said. 'T reckon
that ws what you wanted"
"You go to hell" Bigger shouted,
drowning out q. HIS voice.
Doc bent down behind the counter
and when he stood up he had some
thing in his hand which he did not
show, He stood there laughing.
White spittle showed at the corners
of Bigger's lips. He walked to the
billiard table, mis- eyes on Doc Then
he began to cut the green cloth on
the table with long sweeping strokes
of his arm. He never took his eyes
from Docs face.
why, you dog!' Doc said. "I
ought to shoot you, SO help me God.
Get out, before I call a copi"
Bigger walked slowly past Doc,
looking at him, not hurrying, and
holding the open knife in his
hand. He paused in the doorway
and looked back. Jack and G. III.
were gone. Get out of here!"
Doc said, showing a gun. Don't
you like it?" Bigger asked. "Get
out before / shoot you!" Dock
said. And don't you ever set
your feet inside here again.
Doc was angry and Bigger was
afraid He shut the knife and slip
ped it in his pocket and swung
through the door to the street. He
blinked his eyes from the bright
sunshine; his nerves weer so taut
that he had difficulty in breathing
Halfway down the block he passed
Blum's store; he looked out of the
corners of his eyes through the
| plate glass window and he saw thai
Blum was alone and the store was
empty of customers. Yes, they
would have had time to rob the
store; in fact, they still had time
| He had lied to Gus and G. III. ant
Jack. He walked on; there was no
a policeman in sight. Yes; they
could have robbed the store ane
could have gotten away. He hopec
the fight he had had with Gus GOV.
cred UP what he was trying to hide
| At least the fight made him fee
I ti1s equal of tiIen. And he felt the
equal of Doc, too; had he not slash.
ed his table and dared him to us,
his gun?
He had an overwhelming desire
to be alone. he walked to the mid.
die of the next block and turned
into an alley. He began to laugh
softly, tensely; he stopped still il
his tracks and felt something warn
roll down his cheek and he brush
ed it away. Jesus" he breathed
Il laughed SO hard / cried" Care
fully, he dried his face on his Goa
sleeve, then stood for two Who'll,
minutes staring at the shadow o
telephone pole on the alley pave
ment. Suddenly he Strengthened ant
walked on with a single expulsion
of breath. What the hell" H,
stumbled violently over a tiny cracl
in the pavement. "Damn!" he said
When he reached the end of tn,
alley, he turned into a street, walk
ing slowly in the sunshine, hi
hands jammed deep into his pock
cts, his head down, depressed.
He went home and sat in a chai
by the window, looking out dream
lily.
THAT you. Bigger" his mothe
called from behind the curtain.
YEAH" he said.
What you run in here and run
out for, a little while ago?"
Nothing"
Don't you go and get into n,
trouble, now, boy"
"Aw, Ma! Leave me alone"
He listened a while to her rubbin,
clothes on the metal washboard
then he gazed abstractedly into th