Evening star., 1942-06-29

IT, ! IlS Same lI1QSg
- ~''S'''' be true in other
Henry McLemore. cities and towns
all over the country.
Unfortunately, no book of instruc-
ton on bus riding was available to
these people when they made the
change. 1t was enormously assumed
that they could start from scratch
and become accomplished bus riders
overnight. You might just as we'll
have asked them to become accom-
plished skiers, trap drummers, or
bird banders, without outside help.
~ -
Bus riding comes close to being an
art. There Is a vast difference be-
tween the veteran who knows how
to get on, to get off, to sway into
and half knock down the right pas
sengers, to step on toes without get
ting slugged, to steal the last re-
naming seat from a score of weary
fellow passengers, and to get off
without losing life, limb and temper,
and the raw, green recruit.
Having ridden on buses all nv life
Il had to turn from pickpocketing to
Journalism because of "stop-cord
elbow') I feel qualified to write the
bare outlines of manual on proper
bus riding which may prove useful
to those who have lately taken 1t up.
The first lesson to learn is never
to wait for bus near q sign that
reads, Bus Stop" 1t seems the
logical place to wait for one, but
years ago, at an international con-
vention of bus drivers at Harrisburg,
Pa, a resolution condemning the
practice Of stopping at signs was
adopted. So, always take a position
either so yards in front or back of
a sign.
Never walk out to catch the first
bus that comes along The first bus
is never your bus. The experienced
bus rider does not even lift his eyes
from his newspaper when the first
bus comes along. He knows 1t isn't
his. He knows that statistics prove
that only one passenger in 10000, 900
ever arrives at corner at the right
time to hop the first bus.
When your bus does come in sight,
don't start roofing around in your
pockets or purse for the exact
change. You'll never have it, In the
first place. In the second, 1t has
been proved that change actually
slows up things. 1t invariably spills
all over the sidewalk and street and
the finding of it requires more time
than it takes for the driver to
change a bill
On entering bus, don't try to
walk-just allow yourself to be swept
along by the men and women behind
you. A frightening experience at
first, it will later come to afford the
same exhilaration as surfboard nd
ing.
Don't stop and stare at the driver
as If he were long lost cousin or
the owner of one of those faces you
see tackled up on post ofi1ce walls
and for whose capture rewards are
offered. Bus drivers don't like to
be stared at. They have been known
to snap at gawking passengers. II
you are bitten by one, there is no
legal recourse. Years ago the Su-
preme Court with only Holmes dis
senting) ruled that bus driver who
had been driving through traffic for
hours, shifting gears, making green
lights and red lights, making change.
giving directions to passengers,
worrying about what he was going
to have for dinner and If his young
est really had measles. was justified
Il taking slash at a fare who
didn't get along toward the middle
Of the car.
In moving toward the center OF
the car you are certain to step on
toes. You won't be able to avoid It.
There is one school of thought which
maiEtains that toes aren't actually
stepped on-that owners poke them
out under the descending footsteps
Of unwary passengers. thus giving
them the toe owners) a chance to
growl and grimace and get rid Of
The little measure of meanness which
has brewed within them during
trying eight hours at the ONCE.
Thus they are able to purge them
selves Of bitterness snd greet the
little woman with a smile and re-
sist twisting juniors ears when
junior refuses to stop playing and
come in to supper.
Once you have stepped on q toe,
get of of it as quickly as possible,
even though this necessitates land
ing on another set Of toes farther
uOWll lllC w buo
riding are inclined to keep standing
on a foot or toe as If they didn't
know what they were doing, and as
if the feel of another citizens foot
beneath theirs was as natural as
that of linoleum or grass.
Start getting OF the bus . block
before 1t reaches your corner. Other
wise you will have to use your elbows
to make passageway, and research
shows that the only Americans who
enjoy being poked in the ribs by
strange elbows are the members OF
a family whose surname is Glussu-
Pine -Glussupine. And your chances
Of finding yourself on . bus full Uf
Glussupine- -GluSsipines is remote, as
there is but one family Of them and