davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1942-12-04
Veteran X. u. Tells All
Army Coffee Excellent
But Just for Shovinq
BY ARTHUR BUGS" BAER

hear lot Of gags about army coffee That shows it
hasn't changed any since the last
From the reports hear, suspect it's the coffee.
was mounted X. p. equipped with letters Of marque
and reprisal made enough coffee to float batteship
And the battleship could sail around that all
week and hit a coffee bean.
The X. P, who mixes the army coffee gets up 4 G. NJ
You know his heart is not in his work.
He gets himself nice rusty But doesn't wash il
out. That's because he wants TO the coffee favor.
Then he fills the 4O-goon with water. That's the
coffee.
While it is boiling he adds spoonful Of coffee to it. But
il is dated.
A soldier doesn't want coffee with his dates He wants
beer.
When he figures the coffee ready he blows charge
the buge All the soldiers have charge the h p
Each soldier gets his lineup full of coffee. He
doesn't drink it. He shaves with it.
If there is difference in flavor in various brands Of
coffee is because stronger than other
water.
Down Camp Zachary Taylor got our water out Of
the Missouri River. II was too had to dilute
with wolf and subnate corrosive Of lead sweetened
with ground glass.
We served that breakfast dinner and supper The soldier
that drank that stuff and smacked his lips permanent
smile, like ammed Upper
It is what the police surgeons call sardoneus rsus the
strychnine chuckle.
Klng
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1942-12-04
The Brighter Side

WHILE I observe great activ-
w ity in behalf of the men now
in the service, which is swell, l
fail TO notice any steps being
taken toward their comfort
after the war. I am wondering
if we are going TO have the same
situation that has prevailed
after our other wars, with the
heroes being left 10 shift for
themselves. and forgotten as
speedily a possible
] hope not. but If anything is
10 be done for them the time 10
plan 1t X now and not wait un-
I'll the paradeS are over and the
people begin rcSentlnC the home
coming warriors and any moves
in their interest requiring the
expenditure ot public funds as
unWarTanted.
You may not think Al the mo-
ment when We are making
much Of the men going 10. and
returning from the various
fronts, that such resentment can
be possible. The people seem
enormously grateful yet the vet
crauS Of ali our wars back 10
the SOS can tell YOU of the
rankest kind of public ingratI-
tude, mainly on the part of those
who did not go 10 the wars.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1942-12-04
What About
Our Heroes?

ND to show you how heroes
- are forgotten, I might ask
you how often you have given a
thought TO these unfortunates?
How often have you visited any
OF them?
They are not only forgotten,
but I have had complaints that
in one of the largest institutions
IN the east they are neglected
TO a considerable extent because
Of the parslmonious policy Of
those running the place. ] hope
that this is an isolated instance.
Certainly the government allot-
ment to the institution would
seem sufficient for all purposes.
Probably all the hospitals will
be running short handed in doc
tors. nurses. Orderlies and other
attendants while the war is in
progress and the old timers will
be the sufferers. l presume this
Is unavoidable, yet II is ironic
that the thing responsible for
the inconvenience and neglect,
lnadvertent or otherwise, OF the
veterans Of our other wars will
be producing more Of the same
kind Of patient for the future.
Copyright 1912. by King Features
Distributed by International News Service
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1942-12-04
The On|ooker

second floor had 10 listen 10 the
game by radio.
Both ran out Of hominy grits
in the dining rooms, and this
marked the first time in the his
tory Of the deep South that
diner couldn't get a bowl of
lnedIble grIts with his meal The
manager personally sent me a
note of apology
IT WAS a well behaved crowd
however Bourbon seems 10
make people more ractabIc II
Vas not over thus In the DAYS
Of prohibition southern football
crowds went for corn whisky.
and any one who has ever fooled
around with corn knows that u
rs strictly ? flueaN potion
Three drinks Of corn so / am
told makes man want m
challenge the world. and give
the world the first punch. As /
said this is strictly hoarSav. I
beng an old Doctor Pepper man.
From now on. this column is
directed toward my California
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1942-12-04
BY Damon Runy0n

HOWEVER, before this par
IL ticular war is concluded. il
may touch almost every house,
hold in the United States, and
thus more Of our people than
ever before will be aware Of the
problems of the servicemen and
consequently there may be less
resistance 10 legislation for
them, whatever the cost and we
may not again see the deplorable
neglect Of the former soldiers
and sailors that followed the
last war.
II Is something to hope for, at
any rate, though | fear that I'M
less a definite plan is mapped
out now which could include my
own idea OF continuance Of Serv-
ice pay for q year after honor
able discharge. IT. VIII be the
same old story Employment for
the returning soldiers should be
made as important at this time
as the care Of the departing.
The disqualification of our
wounded will be a major prob
lem after the war, which re-
minds nc that 10 this day We
have thousands Of men in gov
eminent hospitals aS A result Of
the last war. some of them per-
manently bedded all these years.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1942-12-04

But as I said before many Of
the objections are inspired by
what careless and inconsiderate
dog owners permit their pups
to do.
What this country needs is
some schools for training dog
owners.
| have had number Of dogs
but have never yet had one |
couldn't make behave like lady
or gentleman, inside the house
and out.
CINCE 50 many females have
~ invaded the industrial field
the question as 10 whether the
male or female is the stronger
sex is more open 10 debate than
ever.
But there is no doubt the male
is the faster sex.
You can see that by the way
the men always beat the women
10 the seats in street cars and
buses.
TO-DAY saw sign in front OF
Il fountain lunch place reading
"NitamIn Bar"
Was crowd c ID with young
women.
No doubt they were stenog-
faphers taking a shot of vita
Minis TO pep them up for the
afternoon s work
Bachelor hotels rarely sue
coed.
ON the other hand m any
hotels exclusively for WON Q n
have achieved success.
We mast therefore come 10
the conclusion that women can
get along better without men
than vice versa
Still 1t IS noted that the most
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1942-12-04

EVERY once in a while ! re-
port a sports event just 10
keep my hand in.
I figure this 10 be very smart,
because when a man has no
better grasp Of the global sltua-
ton than ! have. he IS likely 70
get ,h0ocd off the editorial
pages and sent back 10 the bowl
Ing scores and Softball results
with practically no warning.
Sol came 20 Athens Ga, deep
in me red clay and chicken NULL
country 10 report the Georgia
Georgia Toch game This battle
between the Bulldogs and the
Engineers attracted Tho biggest
crowd IN tho history of tho
state $4,000 and Athens was
iuS' about as well prepared 20
handle this number of humans
as CannlhalS are 10 turn VeEe-
tarlanS on a moments notice.
It's two hotels. both If which
point with pride 10 Sherman'S
spur prints In the lobby. were 50
overrun with humans that every
one having a room above the
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1942-12-04
Better o|th
by Dr. Logan CIendenins

SIXTY years ago on March n,
- 1882 a dumpy. countrified
doctor named Robert Koch stood
up before the Berlin Physiology
cal Society and read a paper in
which he proved that certain
germ was the cause Of tubercu-
losis.
Since then We have not had 10
guess the cause Of this universal
disease or ascrlbe it 10 vague
forces such as heridity or
miaSma.
We know the cause 10 be a
germ We know the habits of the
germ; We know what il grows
on We know how il passes from
one human 20 another and from
infected CONS 10 human beings
IN milk, and all its customs and
habits
FURTHERMORE. since then.
We are able 10 tell by exam
nation % the Spu'um OF an in
dividual ~ h 81 her or not his
cough and fever are' due 70 tu-
heroulosis Of tho lungs or to
some other disease.
Robert Koch LAID guesswork
about tuberculosis forever in its
grave.
Hts discovery vas The result
Of a great deal Of industry COM
bined with flashes Of CeniuS-ln-
Splration IN interpreting the new
things he saw under the micro
scope and IN venting new
methods Of research.
The most important OF these
methods was the discovery that
bacteria would grow outside the
body on culture MEDIA COM
monplace of the meteorological
laboratory now
He accidentally discovered
colonies Of bacteria growing on
the cat surface Of A potato and
for long time he used foods
sugars. etc. - to cultivate his
germs.
WHEN he star'ed out n cult
W Vato tho germs he found IN
tuberculosis tissue, however. he
struck a SnaE.
They would not grow on any
of the ordinary media.
Finally he had the inspiration
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1942-12-04

TIVE planned assault was al
L ready far behind the time
table.
The guerillaS had let the Ger
man tanks in repeatedly, then
closed in behind them, cutting
off supply lines.
II was nothing like the French
dchaclc
Russia wasn't scared wasn't
divided there was no Fifth Col
umr
ECRT RlESS. IN his excellent
\ new book on German gcncr-
ais. The Self-Betrayed. says
the simultaneous assault was IN
tended TO come long before De-
cemher I. whenever the Jap
Swoop could Synchronize with
the capture Of Moscow.
That was why the two Toxic
euiSSarieS stalled and tiddled 20
long in Washington the final
break postponed again and again.
nN THE night Of December s,
~ ! am told, Hitler was noti-
fed that the tremendous prepa-
rations Of the JapS had gone too
far 70 ne recalled or even longer
delayed
Washington was suspicious.
TIE Pacific sneak attack must
come before sunrise
on the morning OF the fatcful
December :, here was The ,iIua-
ton IN Moscow as reported N
tho y. ! Mirror
he mightieSt frontal attack
Yet undertaken by the Germans
against Moscow was reported
early today In soviet dispatches
10 have been thrown back.
The adViCes said counter
attacking troops had shattered
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1942-12-04

successful managers Of hotels
for women are men.
Then take orchestras made up
OF women.
The best ones all have male
leaders.
From this We must conclude
that women though they may
struggle along without the com,
pany of men cannot get very far
without leadership.
And this ! ca d 10 the final
conclusion that he who put the
obey IN the marriage cere-
mony may possibly have had the
right idea.
no GET an idea how mitch
Il good jockey means to
horse YOU have TO see a major
league saddle genius like Jackie
WeStrope riding against the
Gloriiied apprentices Of a track
like Bay Meadows in California.
Takes about six years 10
make a good jockey, and most
of the Bay Meadows boys seem
to have about 5t2 years TO go.
Take the idea of spelling night
AS mite right as rite" and
fight as "fite."
Or that Of spelling through as
thru or vaudeville as "vodvil."
This department is opposed
TO il.
When woman compliments
a man as 10 something he is
wearing it is usually his neck
tie
Once more I note the claim
that the growing Of a beard
makes a man more masterful."
| called this TO the attention
Of my Girl Friend, saying
might grow "A beard TO make
me- more masterful.
81 wouldn't worry about that
If we're YOU" said she. you're
doing all right"
MY DISTINGUISHED coll
N league. Sports Scribe Abe
Kemp, strongly objects to my
referring TO him as a bridge
jumper"
He says a "bridgejumper" Is
man who plays favorites to
show.
II play Iongshots right on the
schnozzle," proudly states Mr..
Kemp.
/ offer my apologies.
However, / note Mr.. kemp's
reference 10 my efforts, which
on the surface seems highly
complimentary. he states my
writings are like balm and
myrrh.
| am having my rhetorical exc
pertS study this statement 10
learn whether l have been in
suited.
Or am being subjected to a
bit Of a rib.
Copyright, 1912. by King Features
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1942-12-04
On the Side

They sin uho tell us lore can die,
WIN h(e oil other passions i'm,
All others are but rnitB.
BIT lore IS iHdestructbIe
rs holy flame for crcr bmpeth
From Heoren a co0tc. 70 Hc0rch
returaeth. --Southey.
I J. MURPHY. Said TO be the
o' best dressed sports cribe
west of Chicago
Mr. Murphy S Sartorial prefer
once seems 10 he for tweed suits
and green and yellow ties.
Right now he IS busy trying
70 win A bet that there have
been more famous people named
Murphy than there have been
Kelly or Burke.
He asked my help bat all
could give him was Harlem
Tommy Murphy.
Seems 10 me the BurkcS Will
win this contest
There have been many famous
Burkes in sport and in addition
others Of the stage, literature
and politics
As for example Billie Burke.
the actress. Thomas Burke, the
author and Edmund Burke the
brilliant English statesman.
John Henry Lewis. Retired
indicated light. heavyweight
boxing champion.
He suffered a crushing defeat.
however, when he stepped UP
into the heavyweight class and
took on Joe Louis
Right now John Henry who Is
% years Of age, is working IN
a san Francisco shipy ard.
WHEN 7 was down 10 try on
w my new suit. l had a good
look at the one I was wearing
IN a full length mirror
Then ! fully realized what
carrying things in your pockets
does 10 a suit.
OF course, all carry Is a
cigar case, A wallet, a roll Of
copy paper, bunch Of keys. a
watch. several pencils and a few
pamphlets. but these make me
look as if I had been joining my
pup in rolling on the grass in
the park.
A fellow in Chicago said he
had patented a pocket that is
fixed on the belt line of the
trousers.
With such a pocket he said
You can carry lot of things
with no bulge resulting.
! must confer with this in
ventor on my return trip TO the
east.
HAVE been carefully studying
1.-the other side Of the dog
question.
! mean that Of the people who
object 20 dogs in cities.
! think there may no some
grounds for these objections.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1942-12-04
Back Ia Football
for McLemOre

clients. VINO VIII see the Georgia
team IN the Pose Bowl. l would
like 70 tell them what they are
going 20 see, and If the scout Of
the Pacific Coast Conference
team wants 70 send me a check
for the information, my name
and address Will be sent on re-
quest.
Georgia is not a great football
team but II is team that would
make Rockne grow hair IN order
10 pull n. send Pop Warner IN
Carlisle fits. and cause all the
other believers IN sensible foot
ball 10 70 slightly daffy
Even their coach tho tall.
lean lanky Wally Butts, is sur
prised BY his players.
THEY'LL do ANYTHING At any
4 tune. They don't kick when
the book says YOU must kick
Neither do they follow any Of
the other regulations. Their
huddic Is strictly grabbing.
Tho PLAYER who offers the verdi
est suggestion is voted tempo
rarS captain and placed IN
charge.
They pass on first down be-
hind their own goal line. They
kick when they need only a foot
for first down on their oppO-
nent's goal line. They clip when
they feel they have made too
many yards on a play. and every
once in a while they call for an
offSide just for the devil Of il.
They may not beat the Pa
Cltic Coast representative. but
III guarantee you this you'll
soc the only team that ever
played out there that doesn't
) care what the score Is, as long
as II is out there playing.
This is for your Information:
Slnkwich. the boy with the fat
feet and bad temper is not
great back He IS sort OF
dcca'hlon football player He
doesn't do anything badly but
he doesn't do anything we'll
So, he'll wind up beating your
team The best player on the
club is an end named POSchncr.
The next best is q Don HutSon
hoy named Van Dyke.
EVERYBODY in Athens now is
- busy buying shoes and ties
for the team. They want the
Bulldogs to make fine appear
ance when they reach Pasadena
and are greeted by that heart
warming reception of two Rose
Bowl officials. rubbing the sleep
out Of their eyes.
This is a warning to Georgia.
No visiting team was ever killed
with kindness by the Rose Bowl
people. In fact, no one has ever
been bruised by their kindness.
But this truth remainS-the
Rose Bowl people give YOU a lit
tie better than 100000 when
YOU leave and there is practi-
cally nothing YOU can't buy in
Georgia with 100000
Distributed b. McNaught Syndicate. lac.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1942-12-04
Finds
Germ

Of trying them on human tissue,
using blood serum
lie inoculated tube of sterile
blood serum with tissue which
he had obtained from a case Of
tuberculosis and crushed 1t so as
10 expose the germs.
Patiently. from day 10 day. he
examined the serum under the
microscope but for a week or 10
days he found no germs.
Most Of his germs grew on
media in from "a hours TO three
or four days.
He was about 10 throw his
blood serum away, but FORUM
ately ne was patient enough 70
keep looking and finally az the
end OF two weeks he saw A coll
ony Of tubercle bacill
The tuberculosis germ one
of tho >loweSt growing Of any
that attack man.
EOCHS paper Of 1882 did far
IA more. however. than simply
announce the cause Of tubercu-
lOSls.
He laid down the four famous
pOstulates 10 determine whether
a given germ is the cause Of a
given disease:
First: You must find the germ
In association with the disease
and II must be found IN associa-
ton with no other disease.
Second: You must be able 70
cultivate the germ outside the
body on artificial media.
Third; You must be able TO
take the isolated germs and pro-
duce the disease in animals.
Fourth: Pure cultures Of the
organisms must again be made
from lnoculated animals.
Since that day so years ago
we have been able 10 initiate in
diligently all the hygienic meas
ureS which have cut the rate Of
tuberculosis 10 a point that Koch
himself would have regarded as
intellectually small
In order 70 further this work,
buy Christmas Seals.
QUESTIONS. ANSWERS
w. n r. Detroit. Mich Is
y true that removal Of A childs
tonSlls lowers his resistance 10
lnfantile paralysis?
Answer. No
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1942-12-04

IF ADOLF HITLER can spare
any part Of his twisted mind
for memories amid his many
woes OF the moment. he may be
thinking of just about a year
ago.
IT COMES 10 me from highly
= reliable sources that Hitler
and his Jap fellow-gangsters had
agreed on a grand strategy
which in one day would clean up
the war and the world.
The plan was for Japan 10
wipe out Pearl Harbor and seize
the Philippines on the same day
that Adolf, az the head Of his
rumbling tanks and goose-step-
ping sappers, with Goering lead
ing a noisy flight Of StukaS and
bombers above, would march
into Moscow.
THE psychological reverbera-
i tions~ol the capture of Mos
COW and the destruction Of
America m the east was 10 how
the world especially Churchill
that Hitler owned Europe and
ITirohltO owned tho Orient: that
the United States would have
10 divert ships. arms and sup
plies 20 defend rs own shores on
tho Pacific and, therefore. could
no longer help Great Britain
THIS was 10 have been fol-
Il lowed Immediately by a
peace ultlmatum from Hitler 10
Churchill.
Htler'S generals had opposed
any attempt 20 capture Moscow
IN fact they had been against
the entire idea Of invading Rus
STA and a two-tront war
Hitler buIIied them into il and
when they formed Jagged lines
that could not be held against a
determined enemy Of growing
might, fhey wanted 70 fdIl back
for the winter 20 quarters whore
they would not trccZe 20 death.
But Hitler insisted
He not only insisted on con-
inung he campaign hu hc NJ
sisted me only important ann
was 10 Capiure Ale-eeF'--- tetrrrH
WaS not a first class military
objective
of course, his tactics were pO-
lucal.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1942-12-04
Hitler Error
Reviewed

an enemy wedge driven along
the highway from Mozhaisk,
finging the Nazis into 'disOr-
DERBY retreat "
Nothing was further from
Hitler's desire in these circum-
stances than TO declare war on
the United States.
But his treaty with Japan now
made II mandatory . For him
the MaF Was lost
TIVE heroine Of this tale was
Il rated the most beautiful
Showgirl in Britain before war
was declared
She left her native London
and came 10 America, whore she
appeared in several shows on
Broadway.
The wolves went wild over her
looks and appeal. But she was
quiet and reserved, didn't drink
or neck. wouldn't laugh al
Broadway bromideS.
So the mob tagged her beau
tiful but dumb.
When war struck the conti-
nent the British government
sent her 10 South America 10
display British wartime fashions
as part Of a good Will cavalcade.
In one South American coun-
Try, eight Of its top bachelors
entertained her at a party
one Of them, a monOcled play
boy, was most ardent
He invited her TO 70 yachting
with hun, she accepted
ON the trip he took numerous
pictures of her
The next day She had cocktails
~ his home
When he left the room for a
few minutes. she happened 10 see
The strip Of negatives OF the
shots he had taken the day be-
fore
Tho background Of every one
showed vital harbor dcfenSeS,
The lass pocketed the film,
and took them tn-the headquaf-
tiers Of British Intelligence.
With the South American po-
lice, they picked up the playboy
and found he was a high-ranking
Nazi who had for years been
masquerading as a Latin.
So, for catching this danger
Gus spy, her government has
Just bestowed a citation on the
beautiful but CleXcr ShnWrirl
whom Broadway pegged beauti-
ful but dumb.
CONNIE BENNETT WHO has
y been IN f'lortria for almost
month. 20 be near her husband
GTlbeT' Roland, framing IN OtiI-
Gers candidate school. has seen
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1942-12-04
On Broadway

1t. Com. Walter Winchell
is temporarily on leave out
of the country. Meanwhile,
"On Broadway" will be writ
ten by guest columnists. To-
days guest is Jack Lait, vet
eran New York reporter.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1942-12-04
by T.. v. DnrIing

Distributed BY Klas Features syud.. Toe.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1942-12-04

CONNIE BENNETT. who has
y been IN tlortria for almost
4 month, 20 be near her husband
tiIIbeT' Roland, framing IN off
GERS candidate school. has seen
him exactly Two hour~ and then
At with him a. be studied.
C~Tyrgri by rs Nr.r, lnc
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1942-12-04

Loaded Pocket
Gets Attention
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1942-12-04
QUESTIONS. ANSWERS

w. II r. Detroit. Mich Is
II true that removal Of A child
tonsils lowers his resistance 10
lnfantile paralysis?
Answer. NJ
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1942-01-06
MARKETS
Realty Bonds
Off in December

NEW YORK, Jan. 6.-After II
consecutive months without de-
cline in price, real estate securities
fell A per cent in December
under pressure of wartime selling
and year-end liquidation. Large
though this decline was, IL only
partially offset the advance for the
year, which amounted TO rs per
cent, according to the Amott-
Baker Realty Bond Price Average.
The average dollar price per
81 900 bond is now 1902, compared
TO $281 a year ago. Philadelphia
issues showed up best in 1941 with
a use of 88 per cent to price of
$685.. They showed a drop of only
ga per cent in December, the low
est of the cities covered.
New York issues rose 81 per
cent in 1871, while Pittsburgh
ended up 80 per cent higher and
Boston % per cent higher.
Every classification showed i'm
Iprovement during the year. even
though every classification shared
I in the December decline.