Evening star., 1942-06-11


than a hop-skip-and-jump trip to
Detroit and other manufacturing
centers.
He doesn't know the half OF It!
He only saw the skilled minds at
work on ersatz goods. Not until he
had received a columnists mail for
a few weeks could he understand
how adept the great body Of Ameri-
cans are in working out substitutes
that are just as good and devils
ing ways and means Of combating
the inconvenience caused by
shortages of any and all materials.
A daily columnist is sort OF
clearing house for the brain-chil-
dren Of his readers. Each mail
brings in samples of the scientific,
literary and artistic talents Of men
and women all over the United
States. In the past year, partic-
ularly since December 7. we have
received for our inexpert appraisal
everything from submarine de-
tector (tests in my bath tub have
proved 1t to be infallible) to
strange bit OF metal that Is the
same as aluminium but hasn't any
aluminium in it."
Only today, when Mr.. Lyttelton's
praise of American ingenuity was
still fresh in our minds, the post
man brought us package of sub
stitute coffee from a resident OF
Springfield, Mass. With it was
letter explaining that the sender
had read how coffee" could be
made from a base of sweet potato
skins, and would we please try the
sample and furnish an opinion on It.
We brewed cup of the coffee"
as soon as We finished testing the
invention of a reader from Jack
sonville, Tex, namely, safety
shirttail sinker." quote from
the Texas inventors letter:
THE shirttail situation must be
stabilized If our manhood ever hopes
to have any more peace of mind.
To relieve this situation I have per-
fected something that will instantly
appeal TO every man who is lucky
enough TO own shirt or expects 70
be able to buy one in the future.
This simple gadget fastens to the
hem Of the abbreviated shirttail
just as a sinker fastens 10 a fishing
line and makes it stay put at all
times. OF course. split buckshot
could be used but they are rather
bumpy and cause a man to look
messy. Women wearing slacks
may also utilize this invention. as
what little bulges they may cause
would hardly be noticed in a cornpe-
tition with more prominent bulges
that women wearing slacks always
have :"
We found the safety shirttau
sinker' most satisfactory. With the
short tail ordered by Washington il
will be a life-saver. although the
wearer will naturally run the risk Of
lead poisoning and the chance Of
being mistaken for a trout line. At
the same time, however. feeling like
trout line would serve as a con-
slant reminder that only the game
fish swim upstream. and that is an
appropriate adage for all Americans
in wartime.
The sweet-potato coffee" which
we drank while wearing the shirt
tail sinker. was like something out
of another world, even If it did
come from nearby Springfield. Our
advice to our reader who made It
is that if he ever puts 1t on the
market to be sure to have some
thing like this on the LABEL Direc-
tions for taking: For adults-One
dose year and then only on the
advice of a physician, preferably a
physician you DO not like and will
have no qualms about shooting. For
children-One teaSpoonful on the
soles of their feet will be enough.
And if our reader does put the
coffee on the market we have a
suggestion for a trademark-a skull
and croSsbones.
Tomorrow. if our strength holds
out, our schedule calls for us to
test a wooden can opener, guaran-
teed to work in the near future
when there will be no cans to open.
.h,,tn hs