Greenbelt cooperator., 1942-01-09
BY JAROL

over the door boasted, "a hat for
every face"
The salesman began by injuring
Lorenzo's dignity. 1--WE have a
special shape for badness" he
said. Lorenzo protested that Or
dinarily he he was the owner of
a dark brown. wavy coiffure.
81 see," the attendant inter
rupted, "Army MANI" "No," Lor-
EMO corrected, "Greenbelt."
The salesman's mind fitted over
number of institutions he knew
that might be called "Greenbelt"
where mans hair would be clip
ped so that his ears would pro-
trude like wings. He took another
stab. How long you been out?"
From where?" asked Lorenzo,
puzzled. The salesman gave up.
He finally threw the question.
"Say, where did you get that
haircut" A look of gloom pos
sessed Lorenzo's face. "Green-
belt" he muttered.
The salesman shrugged his
shoulders and muttered something
about "toupee."
After vainly trying every shape
of hat in the store the salesman
slowly through tightened lips
prounced, Look, mister, I'm not
suggesting you go back to- what
is it, Greenbriar?--- but if you
ever do, tell that barber who cut
your hair that moderation is
noble virtue"
With that he led Lorenzo to
the door and before closing it re-
moved the sign that said, "A hat
for every face" AS Lorenzo step
ped into the street his ears flap
ped in the wind.
That evening Lorenzo came
home wearing a dark brown bow
Ter that rested uncomfortably on
his ears. He entered his apart
ment without knocking, and did
not switch on the light in the hall
way, as he was in the habit of
doing. Mrs. Highbottom called out
from the kitchen, "That you Lor-
enzo?" Why so late?"
missed my ride" he replied,
"Did some shopping"
He slid into the bathroom, off
the hallway, and WINGED at the
sight he saw in the mirror as he
turned the light on. Immediately,
he set about improving the ap-
pearance of his newly bought
bowler.
First he tried stuffing tissue in
to the hat to keep it from sink
ing over his ears. This device he
soon gave up as impractical,
since it caused a swish whenever
he moved his facial muscles. He
then put some paper under the
inner band. This kept the hat
from sinking, but the hat still
didn't look as if it belonged on his
head.
Thirty-three minutes later hav
ing tried lat different angles he
left the bathroom, his new hat
safely hidden in the water box.
Lorenzo whistled, affecting nom
~halance. Anything good for sup
peri" he asked his wife fiippantly.
"Welch rarebit." she replied.
what did you buy, dear?"
Taken by surprise, Lorenzo
stalled for time. "Huh?" he
asked.
81 said, What did you buy'?"
"Oh- -" He pushed the radio
aside to examine the tubes and, his
face in the radio chassis, he NUT
tered, "Shing oodent brunt shted."
Mrs. Highbottom was persistent.
"What, dear? Where are you?"
Looking over the tubes" Lor-
EMO answered. Radios been
Nhistling. Darn thing about these
superheterodyne sets; too much
power; tubes go bad: Spoke to
fellow yesterday........."
Honey" his wife interrupted,
"you still haven't told me what
you've bought, unless it's a sur
prise" She thought of their
wedding anniversary four days
hence.
Confused, Lorenzo agreed. "Uh
huh" Miserable, he pushed the
radio back, picked up a newspaper
and fell into a chair. Absently,
his eyes fell on a fur coat adj.
The display of luxuriant, glossy
fur dimly suggested his own lost
locks and he vaguely recalled the
buzz of the clipper scraping
against his ear. His mental wand
ering was interrupted when a
shadow settled over the newspaper
page. His wife, seating herself
on the arm of his chair, drapped