The Detroit tribune. (Detroit, Mich.) 1935-1966, 1942-07-18
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BOOK q INSTALLMENT VII

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she pulled them over her. He turn
ed his head and stared at the dim
whites OF her eyes In the darkness
Maybe. yes, maybe he could, maybe
he could use her. He leaned and
stretched himself on the bed be-
side her: she did not move. He
put his hand upon her shoulder
pressing It just softly enough to
let her know that he was thinking
about her. His mind tried to grasp
and encompass as much OF her life
as it could, tried to understand
and weigh 1t in relation TO his
own. as his hand rested on her
shoulder. Could he trust her: How
much could he tell her? Would she
act with him, blindly. believing his
word?
Come on. Let's get dressed AMI
go out and get something 10 drink.
she said.
ok"
you Amt acting like you always
act tonight,
II got something on my mind"
Cant you tell me-"
Il don't know"
Don't you trust me?"
sure
Then why don't you tell me?'
He did not. answer. Her voire
had come in a whisper. a whisper
he had heard many times when
she wanted something badly. II
brought TO him a fulT sense of her
life. what he had been thinkin :
aud feeling when he had placed
his hand upon her shoulder. The
same deep realization he had had
that morning at home at the break
fast table while watching Vera and
Buddy and his mother came back
TO him: only IL was Bessie he was
looking at now and seeing how
blind she was. He felt the narrow
orbit OF her life. from her room to
the kitchen OF the white folks was
the farthest she ever moved. She
worked long hours, hard and hU:
hours seven days week, with only
Sunday afternoons off: and when
she did get off she wanted fun. hard
and fast fun. something to make
her feel that she was making up
for the starved life she led. II was
her hangering for sensation that
he liked about her. Most nights she
was too tired 10 go out; she only
wanted TO get drunk. She wanted
liquor and he wanted her. He
would give her the liquor and she
would give him herself. He had
heard her complain about how harl
the white folks worked her; she
had told him over and over again
that she lived their lives when she
was working In their homes. not
her own. That was why. she tolo
him. she drank. He knew why she
liked him: he gave her money TO-
drinks. He knew that II he had
not given II 10 her someone els
would: she would see TO that. Bes-
sic, too. was very blind. What ought
he tell her? She might come In
Just handy. Then he realized that
whatever he chose 10 tell her ougb;
not to be anything that would make
her feel in any way out of H.; she
ought TO be made 10 feel that she
knew It all Goddamn lie just
simply could not get used OF act
ing like he ought. He should not
have made her think that some
thing was happening that he did
not want her to know.
"Give me time. honey. and I'll tell
you" he said. trying TO straighten
things out.
"You don't have to unless you
want to-"
"You just can't treat me any old
way. Bigger"
II amt trying 10, honey"
"you can't play me cheap"
TAKE II easy. know what In
doing"
81 hope you do"
"For Chriseakes!"
Jaw. come on. want a drink"
Nav: listen
Keep your business. You don'
have 10 tell me. But don't come
running TO me when you need Q
friend. see?"
when we get couple Of drinks
III tell you all about It,"
suit yourself"
He saw her waiting at the dool
for him; he put on his coat and car
and they walked slowly down th'
stairs. saying nothing. 1t seemed
warmer outside, as though II were
going to snow again. The sky wa'
| low and dark. The win. blew. Al
he walked beside Bessie his fee
sank into the snow. The street'
were empty and silent. stretching
before him white and clea nundel
the vanishing glow OF long stree
OF street lamps. AS he walked h.
saw out OF the corners OF his eyes
Bessie striding beside him, and 4
seemed that his mind could fee
the soft swing OF her body witt
her. feeling her body warm ant
plant 10 him. But the look on hel
face was a hard and distant one
1t separated him from her body by {
great suggestion OF space. He ha'
not really wanted to 90 out will
her tonight: but her questions ans
suspicious had made him say yei
when she had wanted to go for
drink. AS he walked beside her h'
felt there were two Bessies; one
body that he had just had snt
wanted badly again: the other wal
Bessie's face; II asked questions
II bargained and cold the othel
Bessie to advantage. He wished h
could clench his fist and swing BIZ
arm and blot out. kill. sweep AVA