Evening star., 1942-10-29

1lAAluo Vi u 11Adss
jority of the
Henry McLemere. Nations house,
wives on hearing of the coffee ra-
ton was that the emergency could
be met simply by making weaker
coffee
The cup / had for breakfast this
morning could have walked through
the streets of Brazil without being
recognized. 1t had no more body
than q ghost, less aroma than q lead
pencil, no more color than Camille
in the last act, and its taste was the
same tangy, bracing one possessed
by pure, clear spring water. The
half-pound we have on hand will
last well into the 1885 If today's
formula is adhered to, but we won't
ever have a decent cup of coffee.
Speaking for myself and, am
positive, for most Of the other cof-
fee-loving males Of this country,
would rather have one honest-to-
goodness cup of coffee than 10000
cups of spineless, weakened con-
coction that wouldn't arouse the
curiosity Of the most curious taste
bud.
Coffee rationing is going to be
very tough on the conversation Of
certain group Of people. The
people I mean are the ones who,
when asked if they would care for
second cup of coffee, take an in
ordinate pride in refusing with these
words:
Thank you, no. I never drink but
one cup Of coffee. I love my one
cup, mind you, but never have a
second"
The way they say this you would
think that the refusal to have a
second cup Of coffee ranked among
the great virtues of mankind. You
would think that men and women
mad been canonized for having only
epne cup OF coffee at a sitting. It
will be hard on these people not to
be asked to have a second cup and
to be robbed OF the chance to
momentarily join the company Of
the saints.
I know what I am talking about
because am one Of this group. It
was pointed out to me not so long
ago that when I refused a second
cup OF coffee I did it with a smus-
ness and an air Of superiority that
made my critic want to hurl the
coffee pot at me. But that's what a
man gets for marrying his best
friend and severest critic.
But as hard as coffee ration1ng is
going to be on us "one-cuppers," it
Is going to be harder on those caf-
feine crackpots who tell you how
coffee keeps them awake at night.
You can't be in a gathering any,
where in this country where there
isn't at least one person who, when
served coffee in the evening, uses
his refusal Of the coffee as a spring.
board to launch into a long and
highly uninteresting description Of
how the stuff keeps him awake at
night.
He tells you of the last time he
was foolish enough to have coffee at
night; what time he went to bed;
what time he tried to shut his eyes;
the time he started tossing: the
sort of tosses he tossed; how he got
up and took something to try to
put him to sleep; how it didn't
work; how his wife said, What in
the world is. the matter with you?";
what he told her, and, finally, how
he eventually fell asleep when light
was coming through the windows.
Oh, yes, and how miserable he
felt all day at the ofdce.
Now, with coffee rationed, no one
Is going to ask this type of bore to
have an after-dinner cup.
Another thought: What Is going
to happen to the fellow who says,
II am never any good until I've had
my cup of coffee" Reduced to one
cup q day he may elect to have his
one cup with his evening meal.
He'll go wandering around being
no good all day. He'll 60 without
speaking to any one and carry a
chip on his shoulder until 7 or 8 in
the evening.
Unfortunately, coffee rationine
won't put the quietus on those who
grind their own beans. Here is tho
most superior. condescendins, pa.
tronizing group on earth. They
feel that any one who stoops to
making coffee from ready-eround
beans Is . plebian in patches. I
have yet to meet any one who
ground his own coffee who didn't
manage to turn the conversation 50
that he could tell you that he did.
Distributed by McNausht Syndicate, Incl