Evening star., 1942-07-28
It's No Easy Task
To Shake Loose
From Mother
Find the P0ssessive
Parent a Position
To Occupy Time
By Dorothy Dia

By Dorothy Dir
Dear Miss Dix: Why am an old
maid? I'll tell you, 1t is because
have possessive mother who thinks
that I should not only spend my life
working to support her but devote
all my spare time to entertaining
her I try to make good on both
counts. I buy her better clothes
than I have myself, so that she will
look young and pretty. / give her
trips while l stay at home. work all
day and then do the housework
when I come home. / try to get her
to go out with women of her own
age.
Nothing doing. She wants to 60
out with me and my friends. The
result is that I am never asked
with the crowd, because she Is a
misf1t who ruins the fun. I never
have a date. because no boy wants
to drag an elderly woman around.
My mother is in good health. She
is barely middle-aged. There is no
reason why she shouldn't have an
independent life of her own. but she
won't. When I even try to interest
her in anything, she accuses me of
being ungrateful and trying to get
rid OF her. Rather than argue or
talk I take it, but it is taking the
heart out OF me and everlastingly
queering my chances of getting mar
ried. Is there anything that can be
done about it? DAUGHTER.
Answer-Nothing that you would
have the intestinal fortitude to do
because it takes lot of courage for
a doormat that has been trodden
upon for Is years to rise UP and
tell Mother to get off OF her. and
that she isn't going to be kicked
about any longer But a lot could
be done II you have the nerve to
do 1t.
For instance, your mother Is
young enough and strong enough
to earn her own living, and she
could do 1t instead Of being para
site upon you. But she Is too lazy
and trif1ing to even do the house.
work. and when you come home
after your hard days toll you have to
cook the dinner and wash the
dishes. Well, get mother job.
Tell her that she is on her own
and that you are going to lay up
some money for your old age. She
will begin weeping all over the
place. Let her weep. Nobody ever
drowned in tears yet. She will talk
about her bad nerves or her poor
heart. Inform her that the doctors
say that there is nothing 50 good
for either complaint as something
to do that will keep her so busy she
won't have time to think about her
aches and pains.
II you will do this and get her
started to work she will be a
thousand times happier and more
contented than she is in grating
on you.
Invite some women OF her own
age and get her interested In play
ing bridge or working out picture
puzzles or whatnot; and you 60
with your own friends without max
ing any excuse or apologies to her,
When she finds that she cannot, by
self pity, persuade you into staying
with her she will make friends in
self-defenSe. In her heart she
knows that young people do not
want old people hanging onto their
skirts when they 60 out for good
times.
/ realize that 1t Is terrible
thing for children to have to dis
cipline their parents, but when par
ents act like spoiled babies they
have to be dealt with accordingly.
Dear Dorothy Dix: What can a
girl do who Is fast getting to be
an old maid? Every time find
some one I think Is the right one
he leaves me for some one else. /
invariably attract some one who
isn't attractive to me. Why can't /
find some one who is my ideal and
I'd be his ideal, too?
I think maybe the trouble is that
when I like q man I can't help
showing how crazy / am about him,
and that seems to drive men of.
TWENTY-SEVEN YEARS OLD.
Answer-Well, If you are looking
for some one who is your ideal, you
have long and arduous quest be-
fore you; and If you expect to be
any mans ideal and to have these
two ideals meet and blend, you are
indeed asking for the impossible,
for probably no such miracle has
ever happened. You will never find
your ideal, for no human being
ever comes up to a woman's hearts
desire; and no woman ever reaches
the flaWless being that man would
like his wife to be.
So forget it. II you really want
to marry, come down to poor, faulty
humanity and make your selection
among the ordinary creatures whom
you meet every day.
Certainly you make great mis-
take when you begin chasing every
man you meet. who attracts you and
showing him that you are crazy
about him. Bear in mind that men
want to be the pursuers instead of
the pursued, and they have no appe-
tite for the peach that is so ripe 1t
drops into their mouths.