The Waterbury Democrat., 1942-07-30
THIS IS THE ARMY

(A contribution by the aIl-sOIdIeF cast Of Irving BerIin's great hit chow at the Broadway Theater-fOF the Army Emergency Fund.-.
 When one of the boys gave his regimental pin to a girl she de- uanded to know what the motto 'Volens ct Potens" meant He explained: willing and able" !. She returned 1t pronto |. The 33d Arnnored Regiment at Camp Polk call their tanks Hitler Hearses" .-. The Yank of 1942 isn't called . doughboy He's "Red Legs" |. '. There's a 50-Year-Old Club Nt Camp Roberts. The men in 1t are over 50 all volunteers since Pearl Harbor - going in as buck Privates, although many were of- ficerS and non-comS in the last war The tiniest soldier in the army is Willie Dockray of New Mex leo. He is 4 it. II .. Turned down twice for being too short, he yelled: I'm as big as Jap, ain't IF"
 Soldiers do not rate preferred treatment over civilians. They can- not buy shaving cream or tooth paste at their post exchanges with out turning in used tube . At Camp Davis the mimeographed di- rective given to men in the 96th Coast Artillery (for handling of the wire cable winch on army trucks) warns that the apparatus Is "as temperamental as Greta Garbo, and treating it carelessly is like asking Lana Turner to scrub the kitchen floor" The men treat 1t with great affection and care.
 Soldiers purchase lots of finger nail polish-but not for their nails It keeps their buttons shiny and is the perfect remedy for chig- ger bites At the Indio Desert training center the lads are often rationed only one gallon of water daily for all purposes, including drinking, washing, bathing. To con- dition them for the real thing .. Contrary to popular legend, it is against Army. regulations to give a soldier K. P. duty as punishment .. At Camp Barkeley the chap who instructs in the art of jiu-j -jitsu is Harry Morimoto, an American-Jap- anese .. In the Army nurses are known as Snow-W Whites Sol diers insist that uniforms come In only two sizes-too large and too small.
 Personal checks cannot be cashed in the Army without the company commanders okay When Paul, the son of the late financier, An drew Mellon, went to the c. 0. at Fort Riley to get approval for a $10O check, the c. o. said: "This is a pretty big check for a private to write. How do I know it is good?" .. Tt oughta be, said Paul, q own the controlling interest in the bank" The Indians have supplied more volunteers to the Army than any other racial group When they first learned of sele:tive service they came to regis ter with their own weapons The average soldier drinks four cups of coffee day .. G. w., who fathers the "Our Fighting Men" dept in Golfers, calls the U. S.. Armored Division the Anzers Because they are the answers to Hitler's Panzers A jeep is also nickname for rookie.
 Field Marshal Herman Goerings kin Is Werner George Goering of the U. s. Army .. Can't wait, he says to drop bomb on his rela- tive |. Tn our Army a private can prefer charges against colonel, and if a corporal sees captain con- ducting himself in a manner "un- becoming an officer and gentleman he can have him put in the guard house The name for woolen underwear is "superman drawers When a private at Randolph Field comes to non-com with a complaint he is handed mourning bordered card which says: "Your trials and tribulations have broken my heart. They are unique. I have before. As proof of my deepest sympathy, give you this card which entities you to one hour of con- dclence.'
 Fort Riley's newspaper, The Gujdon, has an advice -the-love- lorn column. Betty Lou" signs it. Betty Lou is the nom de plume for a pair of privates For every fighting man in the Army there must be five other soldiers to feed, clothe and supply him .. ;. Unless a rookie is smart, he can be trapped into volunteering for unpopular chores. The big gag in the Army concerns the sgt. who approached a bunch of men at play and asked them if any were good at short hand A dozen newcomers, ang- ling for soft snaps, eagerly stepped forward Fine" said the sarge, report to the kitchen, we're short of K. P.s! <. The phone number 0f the Negro Enlisted Mems Ser zee Club at Camp Bowie is, oddly esoUgh-711.
 Army men always litter derisively when in the movies a sentry says: Halt! Who Goes There?' >. The correct challenge is: "Haltl Who's There?" A letter from a girl is called "a sugar report" :. There's
 CHIEF RECRUI
 c/O VOlunt,