Evening star., 1942-12-17

Henry McLemore. calls for stami-
ma, coordination and a willingness
to carry on even when dog tired In
many ways 1t is combination of
the Poughkeepsie Regatta, q mara
thon race, two chukkers of polo and
10 brisk rounds against a smart.
hard-hitting opponent.
To face Christmas with any con-
fdence man should have at least
two weeks of hard work on the par
allel bars, swinging ring, punching
bag and track, with a little medicine
ball, water polo and fencing thrown
in. Without this he can't help
come up to Christmas eve night q
tired and jittery man.
But what faces him then? A night
of deep untroubled slumber2 No,
sir, he has that tree to fix and fixing
a tree calls for the best in a man.
He must saw it so it will fit, because
no one ever bought tree that was
the right size Then he must make
the tree stand up.
| Then he must climb up a ladder
| that has no more balance than an
6-year-o'd violin prodigy and deco
rate the tree, Riding the average
household ladder is very much the
. same as tanning a bucking horse.
Never Enough Gadgets.
There never are enough decora-
tionS. The American housewife re-
fuses to believe that bulbs get bro-
ken from one Christmas to the next,
that candles wear out, that wire gets
lost, and that silver stuff gets
strayed and stolen. So the man Of
the house winds up having to deco
rate a tree with just about enough
stuff to camoufage an ivy plant.
But Christmas itself is the day
that calls for strength and stamina.
Having gone to bed in the wee
hours Of the night. man must
rouse himself at time when even
roosters are turning over and pull
ing up the covers for another littls
| nap
AND he can't get UP sleepy, either.
He must bound from his warm bed
ana light on the cold floor with a
cheery oath. I mean a cheerv
Halo, HALO" and continue on this
gay If false peak all through the
day. He must pretend he likes noise
that skaters his ear drums He must
go google-eyed over presents that
even the Hotttentots would turn
down on a lease-lend basis. He must
gallop about the yard and roll in
the snow. call greetings to folks he
doesn't like blocks away.
Then comes Christmas dinner so
tired now that he would like a bowl
OF milk and few crackers. he must
sit down to table and start that
most trying Of tasks, the carving Of
a turkey. Tired muscles must
wrench off wings and legs.
Then the Relatives, Too.
Even worse, he must find UNDER
standing and patience to talk to the
relatives who always come to his
table on Christmas Day. Uncle Jim,
who shakes all over and talks Of
nothing but how this war compares
with the Spanish-American War.
Aunt Louise, who talks of nothing
but how every one must have some
more of the scuppernong jelly she
brought for the occasion. Cousin
Fred, whose sole topic of conversa-
tion Is comparison of this admins
tration with Cleveland's.
Whipped to frazzle now, a man
would like to kick off his shoes, run
upstairs and collapse. But he can't.
There are the visits to make. Sally
and Bob are having open house. SO
are Jim and Mary, Katrinka and
Fritz. AL and Jean, Nom and O. B.,
Betty and Ed, Sid and Helen and. so
help me, so are he and his wife. He
must travel like Nurmi to all these
places to get back to his own home
| in time to greet the friends whose
house he has just left.
Yessir, if I just had pair Of
.serviceable boomers and a dumb
bell I would start setting-up exer--
cises right now in preparation for
| all of it.
| distributed by McNaueht Syndicate Inc)