Evening star., 1942-07-29
Couple Adopting
Child Should
Consider First
Must Realise That
His Need Is Main
Consideration
BY Leffice Lee Street,

Whatever the reason for the deep,
natural feeling that impels us to
want to raise a family OF jolly
healthy children, this wish is shared
by almost every man and woman
in the world. Sometimes a husband
and wife are denied the happiness of
having children of their own, and
many of them seek to adopt q
youngster.
Why do they do this? They, them
selves, do not always know, and If
asked they cannot single out any
one specific reason. Perhaps it is
emotional disappointment and the
belief that their lives will not be
complete without children. or sell
fishness in wanting companion for
an only child or just pure altruism.
But at any rate, couples who con-
template adopting a child should
try to discover honestly why they
want to take this step.
Successful adaptive parents are
those whose first concern is the
child himself, not their own needs
and desires. It isn't fair to take a
youngster into your home If you
want only a companion or a servant.
Nor Is 1t fair to expect q child to
conform to a set standard of looks,
personality and character.
The needs of the child himself are
the prime consideration If this
change In the lives of all concerned
Is to be satisfactory.
No couples who are unhappily
married, neurotic or i'll should take
child into their homes. Nor should
they receive this child unless they
are prepared to make the sacrifices
that bringing up youngster entail;
such as adjusting the home schedule
to allow for the wholesome environ
ment and regular hours every grow
ing child needs.
Adaptive parents do not have to
be rich, some Of the happiest adopt
ed children have been raised In SIM
pie homes where they have learned
the simple, economical, practical and
pleasant way of our average Ameri-
can life. But couples who are skat-
ing on very thin financial ice should
wait before they take permanent
charge Of any child because a part
of their new duty Is to insure him
q care-free childhood II they can
possibly do so.
When parents with one child
adopt another to serve as q play
mate they have very delicate stu
alton to face. If you contemplate
such a step dt is q wonderful thing
to do If you have the right attitude) i,
look well into your own heart and
analyze your thoughts in the sin
cere effort to convince yourself that
you are ready to play fair. You
must learn to be impartial in praise
and punishment both to your own
and your chosen one, and refuse
comparisons between the two the
right to enter your mind. You must
realize that the adopted youngster is
an individual, he has a right to his
own personality and this may be
very different from your own flesh
and blood.
If done with spirit of helpfulness
and understanding the act of adopt
ing child is one Of the finest deeds
man and woman can do. If their
spirit is unselfish they will find that
their lives are gayer and fuller-it is
always so that we are happier when
thinking of and serving others
rather than ourselves.
Think, too, how wonderful 1t is
for fate to have taken a helpless
child, who even though innocent of
his plight may have had to live
herded in bleak orphan asylum,
and to place him in the loving and
protecting arms of man and wom-
an who want to give him normal
life in a pleasant home.