Evening star., 1942-12-09


Henry MeLemore. said, "It doesn't
matter how much you lost, dear.
just so you had a good time" I've
seen Gene Tunney acting natural.
just being himself. I've seen people
order okra and spinach when they
had choice of two vegetables.
I've seen-well, that's enough to
show you that I am almost shock
proof. But I am telling you that tho
other day If some one had draped q
coat of electric eels around me I
could not have been more shocked
than l was.
1t happened this way:
was in the toy department Of q
big department store just kind Of
fooling around, you know. having q
go at the electric trains. winding up
the tanks and trying to make them
go up inclines. pulling the triggers
Of those boys size machine guns and
generally having a very good time.
I still maintain that tho toys
broke were faulty In the beginning
and that 1t was a very fortunate
thing that I dropped in to test them
out. otherwise the store would have
had mess Of complaints to deal
with on December 26.
This was the situation when out
of the corner Of the eye that I
wasn't using to sight an anti-air.
craft gun that fires 100 wooden bul.
lets minute, I sighted a Santa
Claus.
Not the standard Santa Claus.
Not the regulation st. Nicholas. Not
the accepted resident Of the North
Pole Not the genuine driver Of
Donner and Bitten and the other
reindeer that make such q clatter
on the roof. No sirl This was .
woman Santa Claus.
If there is such thing as a minor
horror, then minor horror of this
war is female Santa Clauses. Kris
tine Kringle! Sarah st. Nicholasl
Susie Santa Claus! Holy Smoke!
When you make Santa Claus
feminine you might just as we'll say
Jacqueline Dempsey. Barbara Ruth.
Tynette Cobb. Lois Strongfort,
Doris Macarthur, Jeannette Doo-
little. Stranglerette Lewis. Lassie
Mountain Dean and Jemima Thorpe.
There she stood little OIL wren
Of Santa Claus. The pillow she
used for stomach didn't help and
neither did the soprano voice that
squeaked through some cut-down
gray whiskers. She didn't walk like
Santa Claus walks. He numbered
and fat-footed around. the result
Of years of carrying that massive
pack on his back. This female
Santa Claus minced around on size
shoes and worst Of all, she giggled.
The real Santa Claus never
giggled. He had a twinkle in his
eye, and he had kindly smile, but
you always felt that you had better
be a good boy or girl when he was
near because underneath all his
sweetness he gave you a feeling Of
being able to get even stricter with
you than papa If he thought you
needed it.
feel sorry for the kids today.
They put on long pants when they're
s. They will never know the awful
feeling of pride and embarrassment
Of putting on their first long pants
at Is and feeling that every eye in
the world Is looking at them. They
will never know the lonesome, sweet
call OF the old-fashioned locomotive,
All they know is the silly hoot Of
Diesel streamliner. Worst of all.
they have had women Santa Clauses
foisted on them.
Think back. Would you and
have ever believed in a Santa Claus
who didn't live up to the story book
pictures?
War is primarily matter Of big
things. But there are a lot of little
things that it changes too. Sweet
little things.
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