Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1942-09-20
TI!E
brighter Side
By DAMON RUNYON
Mr.. JOE TURP WRITES
DEAR SIR

DEAR SlR
LAST NIGHT my wife Ethel ses Joe the most
terrible things sIe happening in this neighbour
hood Mona CemmonS was here today and she
told me something that has happened 10 her
Uncle Wilbur that Is really awful
sEs Ethel isn't her Uncle Wilbur the guy
yoir Uncle Ben Is always heeilne aooutP SEES
II seems 20 nae nave heard your Uncle Ben say
ne Is nhaney hum Ethel seS that's rsht joe
NV Uncle Ben doesn't like Monas Uncle wilbur
although they we've raised together. Hut then
my Uncle Ben doesn't like lot OF people joe
and sometimes lac Is wlong
! SKIS an know about him is your Uncle Ben
seS ne is a phOney bum and while ADMIT your
Uncle ben Is Wrong oflener than he Is right
something tells me ne may have point there
Ethel / SEES the last time heard your Uncle hen
talking about him he was really turning wilbur
inside out Ethel SEES YES It's because my Uncle
Ben thinks Mona'S Uncle Wilbur did not do right
in the last wal Joe, That was the one IN which
my Uncle Ben was great hero.
sEs you mean he was hero TO hear him
tell II Ethel bat don't think Wilbur was In that
war. Ethel ses no he wasn't joe My Uncle len
claims Mona's Uncle Wilbur had all bis teeth
pulled out so he would not have TO go TO that war
although Mona ses he had pyorrhea and be-
hepe her That makes your teeth very bad Joe,
don't believe anybody would have thing like
that done TO themselves just 10 keep from Coins
to the war.
II SIS welt I wouldn't think So myself Ethel
but guess your Uncle Ben believes It., she ses
yes he does Joe but tell YOU he doesn't like
Monas Uncle Wilbur. Anyway after his teeth
we're all pulled out and he had spent lot Of
money for some false teeth Monas Uncle Wilbur
was called by his draft board Just the same ana
when the doctors examined him they found no
had a had heart and they wouldn't have taken
him even II he had all his teeth. That Is Why no
has not been able 10 do much work for many
years,
SEES o that's the reason Is itf ] ses won
dered why never saw that guy doing anything
except walking around all dressed up Ethel ses
yes the doctor told him he would have to rest a lot
and he has been resting ever since at Monas
house aAtfough her Pops sometimes complains
about 1t. hut he is always very nice to Mona and
abe is terribly fond of him and that IL why abe Is
al broken up over what has happened To him.
sRs we'll what happended sweetsf Ethel
ses why he has been drafted TO 60 TO the war
that's what has happened joe He Is ~ years OLD
going on as but they called him in the other day
and the doctors examined him again and they
found out he had rested so we'll since the last war
that his heart is now perfectly fine and there Is
nothing else the matter with him either so ne
has TO 60 to the war.
SES why didn't he show them those false
teeth EthelP SEES never saw him but what he
was grnning so everybody else could see them.
ses guess he thought people thought they was
natural and Ethel ses o he did show them Joe
hut the doctors ses they didn't make any differ
ence because he was not going 10 have TO bite
the enemy in this war.
Yours truly. JOE TuRP.
nlst.ihuted by International News Service.
esPsssSG isis Kins Feature. syndicate ia~