Evening star., 1942-07-21
Disillusioned
Wife Seeks
Advice
Her Job Is to Bring
Cheer. Comfort
Into the Home
By Dorothy Dir

lnEO me nome
By Dorothy Dir
Dear Miss Dix: Two years ago.
at the age of IT, I married a man
II years my senior. My mother
tells me that I have good hus-
band, but I am disillusioned. He
does not measure up to the dream
husband or to the romantic lover
that I thought he would be. He
treats mo as part OF the house Ak
lures and is Indifferent to my pres
ence 20 long As his meals are on
time and the home spotless. I am
very miserable. What shall I do?
MRS. A. s. c.
Answcr-yours Is another tragedy
Of . too-early marriage, for it is
only when one Is In the teens that
ono Is silly enough to expect to get
a husband who will be a perpetual
lover and the hero Of ones dreams.
II you had waited to marry until
after you had grown up, you would
have seen enough Of Life to know
that no woman gets fairy prince
for q h.lsta and and you would not
have locked for the impossible
You would have been satisfied with
just = plain. ordinary human being,
such as yor are yourself, and you
would have thought yourself lucky
to have gotten a man who was good
and kind and gave you comfort
able home.
Don't resent your husband re-
garding you as part of the house.
hold equipment. That Is what every
wife is bound to become. She Is
the motor that keeps the whole
works going, and 1t is no mean COM
plimenr that q man pays to the
woman to whom he is married wlion
she is Just part Of the peace and
cheer and comfort Of his home.
Without knowing 1t you have
probably come to look upon your
husband in much the same way
as sort of cash register-the thing
that provides the money that keeps
you soft and warm and safe, that
| gives you pretty frocks and a car
and the luxuries that mean so much
to a woman.
After q man and woman are mar
ried they cease to be romantic fig-
ures to each other. They can't keep
| up the eternal billing and cooling
But, II their marriage is success
they come to take each other for
granted, ano being sure Of q love
that will never fail them they don't
have to be always protesting 1t, o.
taking its temperature.
You will be wise If you will put
all Of your vain imaginings and
foolish little disappointments out OF
your mind and realize that you are
a very lucky girl to have husband
whose only fault is that he isn't an
understudy of some impossible crea.
ton Of your Imagination.
Dear Miss Dix: Is there anything
left in marriage after the novelty
Of the first year has worn oil? Hal
any one ever proved it to be q salts
factory institution? My mother and
father stage q battle royal on the
average of three times Z week. My
aunts and uncles merely tolerate
each other because they have to-
| My cousins look at their fractions
children and small pay envelopes
and the chorus from one and all is:
Stay single. Hang on to your job
and your freedom"
I am "a, engaged to q man who
is wonderful now, but I am afraid
to get married. What are the odds
on happiness In matrimony.
A. B. G.
Answer think the odds are Just
about what any two people want
to make them. Undoubtedly the
great majority Of marriages are
failures, but I honestly believe that
practically every one could be made
4 SUCCESS II the husband and wife
were determined to make a 60 OF
it, and If they would put into mar
riage the same amount Of deter
mination Of common sense and
self-control that they have to use
/ in making success Of anything else
in life.
But they don't try to adjust them
selves to each other as they do to
their bosses or their clients or their
customers. They scorn to use any
diplomacy or even common polite
ness in dealing with each other. II
they find they have gotten into the
wrong environment, they haven't
intelligence enough to get up and
leave. and they vent on each other
all Of their nerves and ill-tempeI
and spite at life in general.
They dor.'t really give marriage
a fair show, and when things &c
wrong they don't try to remedy
them. They throw up their hands
and quit, or else they sink into q
sullen acceptance Of their disap-
pointment.
So don't be afraid of marriage
1t is like everything else in the
world. You will get out of 1t what
you put into 1t and you can make
it what you choose