Evening star., 1942-08-24

games. Before
Henry McLsnors. we get up In the
morning and tackle the papers We
try to guess what outlandish rig he
will be pictured in that day. We
have never guessed right.
Let us say to ourselves, Churchill
will have on navy suit today"
and there he'll be in something
that the well-dressed sandhog will
wear this year. Let us lay odds to
ourself that he will have on that
somber Downing Street rig, and
up he pops on the third page In
that Upper jumper -pullover business
which makes him look like a cigar
smoking Teddy bear. So help me,
If he didn't pop up In Egypt the
other morning wearing a sombrero.
Still that didn't make him look
as bad as what he wore to greet
Stain. Just what that suit Is prob
ably is military secret, and won't
be revealed until after the war.
However, it struck me as being the
result of union between q painters
smock and blackout curtain. Ger
tainly, it is the only outfit that
ever made Stain look well dressed.
The Russian leaders suit, which
obviously hasn't been pressed since
Trotsky skipped with the only elec-
trio iron in the country, appears
to have been copied from the
American buck private's uniform in
the First World War, and tailors
will tell you that that garment was
the nadir in design and tailoring.
So will the men who wore it.
Tin Cans: We are saving tin
cans In our house. 1t has been
quite a sacrifice. Not because We
love tin cans, but because we have
instructive love for our fingers,
wrists and elbows. We are grad
ually losing them trying to get OF
both ends Of the can according to
Government orders, which read:
"Cut of the ends. Wash the can.
Step on 1t. Slip the ends into the
flattened cylinder ."
That sounds simple, and part Of
1t is. Getting the first end of is
nothing. We've been doing that for
years. But the other end is a Job
for a big engineering company.
The can slips and slides and jagged
edges Of the opened end spring at
the citizen, anxious to rip, claw and
tear. We had a hand-to-hand, Is
round bout with a baked bean can
the other day, and it had my elbow
on the floor for . nine count and
was about to finish 1t Oh before aid
arrived and distracted its attention.
Learning to skate, ice or roller,
Is child's play compared to trying
to fiatten q tin can on q nnoleum
floor with your feet. It anticipates
your every move and darts away.
1t has more lives than a cat. Just
when you think you have pressed
the last ounce of life from 1t, it
jumps up and makes a savage pass
at your ankles. We are considering
giving our canped stuff to the
Government-amopened. Not from
super-patriotism, mind you, but
from self-preservation. Too, how
would your grandchildren feel when,
II asked how their grandfather
died, they had to answer: He was
killed in fierce combat with Q lima
bean can"
Long Underwear: This garment
has been recommended to us s1ong
the Atlantic seaboard as an ID to
keeping warm this winter when the
shortage Of fuel oil threatens to
form stalagmites and stalactites tn
our living rooms. We do not intend
to yield to this suggestion, even
though Harold 1ckes, himself, comes
and begs us. We have not worn
long underwear since we were in
grammar school, but the memory
still sears and burns, If We may
make an understatement.
We wore long underwear when
boys wore short pants and black
ribbed stockings. and did not start
dressing like their fathers when
they were still under 10 years Of
age. No one who has ever tried
to pull a stocking over the leg Of
a long drawers suit will fail to
know what I mean. 1t was never
done successfully: that is, 50 that q
bump didn't show Just above the
ankle. II you avoided this bump
by folding the underwear tightly
around your leg. 1t gave the definite
impression that you had a misplaced
bone running on the bias from In
side your ankle bone to your knee
cap.
The only way we1l agree to use
long underwear to keep warm Is to
burn the stuff In the fireplace.
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