The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1942-09-03
Tbs ALL-PURPOSE COUPON
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Tbs ALL-PURPOSE COUPON
Washington, D. 9Th OPA is
working on ration book for all pur-
poses. 1t will be general utility
book which can be used no matter
what is rationed, if the idea works
| out. News item.
You've got something there, mis-
ter.
A presto-and-th ere-y0u-have-it
type of ration book would seem
to be full of possibilities. For
one thing it would enable man
to carry all the necessary cou-
p0ns without helper.
It should make the whole BUSH
ness more exciting. Elmer Twitch-
ell looked into the matter yesterday.
SIS this a gag or is it serious?" he
asked an OPA official.
''I'm too busy to be sure OF any,
thing but I think it is on the level"
was the reply.
"You mean one book will do,
no matter what the shortage
is?"
"That's it."
"How long have your men been
working on it,"
"About a month"
"And nobody has gone nuts
YETI"
''Not so far, although a couple are
beginning to act little queer"
''Let me get this" pressed FL
mer. 81 get ration book for sugar,
roller skates, shingles or auto fuel,
and if the OPA suddenly decides to
ration beer openers, hair oil or liver
I just use the same coupons out of
the same book? Am I right or just
dizzy"
Correct. This is to be the posi-
lively no waiting ration book, good
at a moments notice in all circum-
stances. Whatever happens you
have the coupons for it in advance.
"This wouldn't by any chance be
a plot for a new Olsen & Johnson
show?" asked Mr.. Twitchen suspi-
ciously.
st don't think So" insisted the
OPA chief.
"But Just how will a book with
coupons for four gallons Of gas
h. 60 <xx,n of hnIrC0
paint, a barrel of onions or
box of dOOrknObs?"
"Our experts will know"
"But how will the gas station man,
paint salesman and vegetable deal
er know"
"Well, err, we may have to get
out a book for him."
Another book?"
eyes, a book of interpretations.
A sort of guide book to the all pur-
pose ration book"
'But suppose this guide book isn't
clear?"
cit will just mean another book, I
suppose" said the OPA man hope
lessly.
clock me up now" sighed FL
mer. Give been out of my cell long
enough"
"Me, too" said the OPA man.
RECIPE FOR OLD AGE
("Exercise after 40 should be
avoided. DIR. Morris Fishbein.)
Are you two-Score, mister?
Save that extra pep;
If you can avoid it
Take no extra step.
Do not lift finger
After 40 years!
Exercise is silly,
So it now appears.
When you are not working
Sit quite still and think;
Lack of all exertions
Keeps men in the pink.
Golf? It's just plain silly
Simply suicide;
Never walk a step, sir,
Where man can ride.
Daily calisthenics?
Hikes around the park?
All these things but shorten
Lies three-Score-ten mark.
Relax! Scorn all movement
Long hence will you die;
You may live to 30
BUT YOU'LL WONDER WHYl
81 will swap works of Honore De
Balzac, 33 volumes, for a pair of
binoculars and case. Mass. 1852
Yankee Magazine.
That's what comes of having
a reading room that Overlo0ks a
bathing beach this time of year.
The laughers haven't been
giving the fuel shortage any Sc
riOus consideration.
Buy War Bonds
Smile by r. Roelofs Jr.: Rare
as second cup of coffee.
Elmer TwitchelPs point in go
ing back to coal is that there is
no fuel like an old fuel.
Add modern mysteries: why do
they call the American league con-
test pennant race?
Hearty laughs at the style show
greeted a long white flannel night
shirt with collar and cuffs, and boot
les to match.-News Item.