Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1942-01-18
Where Kings
AreBeaten Blu
ThePub|iC


I J little authority as Kns Felix of uumba or is
~ subject To penalties. Twenty -year-old King
Felix of Uunba who carly this succeeded to the
throne, truly figurehead When his subjects dis
pleased with the way the government is being and
Felix almost nothnghe King like naughty little
boy, gets whipping.
Uumba which means several" is the collective name
of group of five islands that lie about 90 miles south of
Sumatra. They range in from few dozen To
13 square miles which Ita the capital island
About $500 people inhabit this group Mechanically the
Uumbanans not far advanced, but politically they
enjoy form OF government democratic ana
in some respects quite similar.
The Uumbanians have had little contact with the rest
of the world but enjoy oral constitution which like
guarantees to the right OF life liberty and
the pursuit of happiness Free assembly is assured and
is proportional representation by the Big Think
Cabinet the executive body New laws or amendments
may be propos" TO the Big Think by anyone this
Cabinet hem their approval the measures sub
mitted TO the people for them 10 decide by majority vote
Balong Each files into dark little hut
where two baskets and two great piles Of coored pebbles
waiting He selects pebble of the color that expresses
his opinion and the right basket There
provision against bright chap stuffng the ballot box
for the Uumbanians trust another
Yet in the face Of this democratic form Of government
Uumba always has had king But the last p rulers
say the local historians have had power The kings
function is really little than that herald When
Big Think arrives an opcratonal decision the king
announces to the people II the people don't like
they vote to have their monarch whipped and there
royal whpper who controls these baonEs and does the
job of chastisng the royal pesonage Tho public square
The king is also COMMENCEMENT Of the army and
navy. The army 30 stawart youths and Is
equally powerful maidens armed with spears The
long each capable carrying "a
persons and manned by each Eight OF the
navys personnel Of 25 girls The Unmhanans being
peace with the world the navys only fmcton-fs 10
protect fishermen against possible The army
Casonaly breaks ~ fight when naNeS have had
little much 10 drink 1t cor beating his
wife too much.
King Felix is also supreme justice Of the islands and
such may appeal The decision Of either Of
the two regular courts of the Big Think But If
the people don't with him he is liable to another
whipping. And the king also responsible for the morals
of his subjects That means whenever two crimes
committed within the same moon-period or month the
king be whipped for falling -dnIer his job
Another job the king has personally collect taxes
few soldiers accompany him carry the pigs
that given in settlement. but if argument takes
place they may not join either side When the king fails
collect the amount previously estimated by the Big
Think he short taken his possessions
But he has enough because share Of the islands taxes
revert to him.
The king performs al marriage ceremonies chrstens
a girls Wedding the king presents
pig a chickens his estates. Every
time baby born the king gives the mother chicken
When marriage goes wrong ii is up TO the king
TO attempt arbitration fails ne grants a
divorce and gets whppn-; because his subjects feel
that the whole thing his fault
s a slight compensation for all these whppngs the
king the'fncst house of ta 1t is great edhce
stone leaves and tWigs ornamented with coorfu
birds feathers and painted pig skins He may also have
three concubincs IN addition 10 ms queen who IS selected
OF the leading families by the Big Think
he may divorce of the concubines after few
moonperiods If nicer little number catches his eye But
pay off the dismissed girl with plenty of chickens
else he gets spanked
Outside the royal palace a great stone figure
and representing the people of Uumba
morning the king must bow low before 1t in the
presence of the Big Think acknowledgment that the
people. and not he preme Each new moon ne re-
peats his oath allegiance wherein he 10 uphold
the constitution lead the armed forces of Uumba
against all enemies attempt to usrp any of the
peoples rights.
SO the King Felix has been whipped only
eight months of office Two of the subjects wed
father decided divorce and young Felix couldn't
talk them So it up to HIM to make their
scnaration legal and then take like king