Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1942-08-24
Churchill,
Long indies
And Tin Cans
All } Puzzle McLemore
Can't Figure Answers
BY HENRY McLEMORE

and long underwear. then save
yourself time by not reading this.
Just turn 10 the weather reports.
Mr.. Churchill prompted us TO
write about him by the clothes
ne has been wearing the last
year.
Apparently the sun never sets
on the prime minister's ward
robe. He now has us playing an
other Of our indoor games.
Before we get up In the morn
ing and tackle the papers we try
10 guess what outlandish rig he
will be pictured in that day. We
have never guessed right.
Let us say 10 curse YES.
Churchill will have on navy
suit today" and there he'll be-
IN something h I the we'll
dressed sandhog will wear this
year
Let us lay odds 10 ourself that
he will have on that somber
Downing street rig, and up he
pops on the third page i'm that
zipper-jumper-pullover business
which makes him look like a
cigar-smoking teddy bear.
60 HELP me. if he didn't pop
~ up in Egypt the other morn
ing wearing sombrero. Still
that didn't make him look as
bad as what he wore 10 greet
Stain. Just what that suit rs
probably is a military secret,
and won't be revealed until after
the war.
However. it struck me as
being the result OF a union be-
tween a painters Smock and a
-blackoHt curtain.
Certainly, il is the only outfit
that ever made Stain look well
dressed.
The Russian leaders suit,
which obviously hasn't been
pressed since Trotsky Skipped
with the only electric iron in
the country, appears 10 have
been copied from the American
buck private's uniform in the
First World War. and tailors
Will tell you that that garment
was the nadir in design and tai
loring. SO will the men who
wore il.
TIN cans We are saving tin
cans In our house
II has been quite sacrifice.
Not because we love tin cans.
but because we have instructive
love for our fingers, wrists and
elbows.
We are gradually losing them
trying to get of both ends Of
I the can according 10 government
orders. which read: Cut off
the ends Wash the can. Step
on il. Slip the ends into the
fiattened cylinder
That sounds simple. and part
OF IL is. Getting the first end off
is nothing. We've been doing
lIldl lot years.
But the other end is Job for
a big. engineering company. The
can slips and slides and Jagged
edges of the opened end spring
at the citizen, anxious TO rip.
claw and tear.
We had a hand-to-hand 10
round bout with a baked bean
can the other day, and il had
my elbow on the floor for
nine-count and was about TO fin
iSh il off before aid arrived and
distracted its attention.
Learning 10 skate, ice or
roller, is child's play compared
10 trying 10 flatten a tin can on
a linoleum floor with your feet.
II anticipates your every move
and darts away
II has more lives than a cat.
Just when you think you have
pressed the last ounce of life
from II, II jumps up and makes
a savage pass at your ankles.
We are considering giving our
canned stuff to tn government
unopened. Not from super
patriotism, mind you, but from
self preservation.
Too. how would YOUR grand
children feel when, if asked how
their grandfather died. they had
10 answer: He was killed in
fierce combat with a lima bean
can.
I ONG underwear. This gar
II ment has been recommended
10 us along the Atlantic
Seabosrd as an aid 10 keeping
warm this winter when the
shortage Of fuel oil threatens to
form stalagmiteS and Stalactites
IN our living rooms.
We do not intend 10 yield 10
this suggestion. even though
Harold lckes, himself. comes and
begs us TO.
We have not worn long
underwear since we were in
grammar school. but the mem
DRY still sears and burns. If we
may make an underStatement
We wore them when BOYS
wore short pants and black
ribbed stockings. and did not
start dressing like their fathers
when they were still under 10
years of age
No one who has over tried 10
pull a stocking over the lcC of
long drawers suit viii fail 10