Evening star., 1942-02-20

nave you ever nehry mcbemore.
been able to undress successfully In
the upper berth of sleeper plane?
Any one who has accomplished
this feat must Of necessity be in
superb physical condition, have the
courage of a setting hen, possess re-
f1exes which would put lightning TO
shame, and have the ingenuity of
a kindergarten teacher on a rainy
day.
To get into the upper berth Of a
sleeper plane, one must have the
fullest cooperation of the occupant
of the lower berth. He must place
his head and shoulders in such q
position on his pillow that you
can employ them as spring.
board to vault into your stratos-
pheric rookery. 1t is considered good
plane etiquette to remove your shoes
before putting your foot on his
face.
Obviously, 1t is always worth a
try to feel out your lower berth
"vaultee" and see If he happens
to be of the Casper Milquetoastish"
type and can be induced to swap his
lowly lower for your upperty uppe5
If he is new to airplane travel,
conversation something like this may
bring about the desired results;
We'll, well, well! Isn't that too
bad! Your very first trip and they
give you a lower. The airlines Just
will do that unless you know enough
to ask specifically for an upper.
Tch. Tch. Tch. The first time I
travelled, they put me in lower and
I nearly suffocated on a little 300
mile hop. And you're going clear TO
California. Tch. Tch. Tch."
You mustn't everyday your hand
in a conversation like this. If you
happen to draw a veteran he may
very we'll become disgusted by your
chicanery and refuse to allow yeu
to vault from his features later on.
| Let us move on. You are stuck
with the upper. From a running
start you vault from the profile of
your PROSTATE friend and land in
the midgets boudoir near the stars.
The man who started the Readers
Digest got his inspiration from an
upper berth. Coiled like a snake
ready to strike, you daily with the
idea of playing fireman and sleeping
in your clothes. But you soon dis
cover that there is not sufficient
room for both you and your clothes,
You consider letting your clothes
have the berth and getting out your
self, but unfortunately airlines en-
ploy stewardeSseS who frown upon
semi-nudity at 5000 feet and 200
mph Airplanes do have dressing
room, but as far as can figure out
there is one man who makes career
of occupying this room. He is the
same man on every plane, on every
trip. OF course, can't describe him.
Neither can any one else. No one
has ever seen him. He never comes
out. but stays behind his drawn
curtains from the time the plane
starts until it lands.
3
| So there is nothing for you to do
but undress in the upper. The
normal procedure that man fol-
lows in undressing is to take off his
shirt, his pants and his socks. This
routine would be difficult enough in
the crowded space, but in the mean
( time the stewardess has fastened
wide canvas safety belt over your
pants, your shirt and your socks.
Shades of Harry Houdini!
If you have a trick shoulder that
is easily dislocated, give up any idea
of getting your shirt of. The same
applies to your pants if it's your
hip that is tricky. There is no
bending over to remove your socks
by hand. The webbing belt prevents
that. So the only way to remove
your socks is with your feet. Shades
of Lon CLANCY! ,.--
Give Ripley peeking privilege on
what goes on behind the curtains of
upper berths between Dallas and
New Orleans and he could get a
years supply of Believe 1t or Nots."
What goes up must come down.
What gets undressed must get
dressed. --
But that's another story-an even
more narrowing story. -
Distributed BY McNaught Syndicate, Ine.)