Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1942-08-05
Boss Wife
Still Bo+hers
Ball Player
He Just Can't Grasp
Her New Ideas
By WESTBROOK PEGLEH

WELL. like / said. our ball
w club looked very good that
spring until the boss let his wife
come down and set on the bench
with US and she starts us 10
running the bases backward and
loads up the club with her per-
sonal friends, but we had plenty
trouble in the front office and
up in the press coop, too.
For one thing, why the first
thing you know. her uncle gets
ahold of the hot dog concession
and the peanuts and programs
and her brother he grabs the
clubs insurance business, which
is worth quite a good slab OF
dough, and an aunt of hers
turns out 10 be getting COM
mission on all our railroad fares
and a cut from the hotels where
We stop when we are on the
road.
Except in Chicago the hotel
people won't 20 for this, so they
jerk us out of our good hotel
near the hall yard and park us
in the Hull House way 10 hell
and gone out on the vest side,
and in ST. Louis we wind up in a
youth Joint where they got
youth up to 35 years old and
they keep you awake all night
arguing about democracy and
Russia.
II looks like everybody in the
family hops aboard the gravy
train and somebody is getting a
commission on even the laundry
and the soap.
WELL. 50 | never did find out
w positively how the business
about the umpires starte IL
whether II was her or him. bu
she would he always saying the
old-timers like MCGOWAN. why
they had the wrong idea about
the rules.
She would say the rule book
was a living thing and the UNI
pireS they ought 10 interpret the
rules for the underdogs. like II
team is behind. then you ought
10 give them all the close ones
or spot them a few runs 10
begin with. because. otherwise,
the rules were just the dead
hand of the past and the under
dog couldn't win for losing.
I The way things were going,
with her trying 10 pitch and
this scrawny lady lecturer friend
Of hers playing first base and
! this young twirp Of a night
school student doing all the
/ pinch-hittIng, and he can't hit
the ground with ms hat, why.
We were generally, pretty near
always, the underdog, too.
GO. WHENEVER any umpire
- would call one against us.
even II our guy was out from
here 10 YonkerS. or one Of the
other guys was safe without
even a play on hIm, the boss and
the old lady they. and the lady
first baScman and the twirp. all
started yelling Horse and
buggy Horse and buggy" and
names like 'copperhead' and
Tory which means louise.
Well YOU remember. We lose
some pretty good umpires that
year. and her and him they
bullcd the league into hiring
some friends of theirs who be-
lieyed like they did about how
you shouldn't lust call them as
you see them. according 10 the
rule book but you ought 70 in
torpret tho rules in a demqA
cratic way for the underdog.
A FTER that We got some ~
~ the coolest umpiring you
ever saw
7 got caught off second on a
hidden ball one dav and one Of
their umplres sent me on home
because he said il was dishonest
10 deceive me- like that
They never allowed anybody
10 steal any bases on us be-
cause they said they couldn't en-
courage stealing. and we didn't
have 10 steal ourselves.
We would just walk down and
they would nut the ball on us
and these new umpres would
say Safe"
cot 20 bases on balls one
week. You Cidn't have 10
swing. Just wait and walk
Meantime. she gets a job writ
ing a baseball column for the
papers and she would set there
on the bench with a pencil and
paper and write down all the
confidential private stuff We said
10 each other and put IN plugs
for hor lady lecturer pal on hrst
base and the night school twirp.
CHE got the old man 10 can
y two 200 hitterS because
they were oId-fashioned.
THE boys in the hyena cage
Il naturally got sore. but If
they beef, why. lot of her
friends write 10 the editor he
should can them for their sour
rilous insults against wonder
full lady-the dirty rats
And then, YOU remember. she