The Ely miner., 1942-09-03
By KATHLEEN NORRIS
Bell Syndicate-wNU Features

TN the many years during
which I have been writing
= these articles, one question
has been asked frequently
perhaps more frequently, than
any other. 1t is "Is infdelity a
justification for divorce, when
children are involved?" My an
swer has inevitably been ''no."
The women who have no
children don't ask this ques-
ton. They simply get their
divorces. It is when there
is a small son or daughter in
the family that the agonizing prob
lem presents itself, and that wom-
ans decision to seek a divorce
brings infinite misery to the innocent
as well as the guilty.
Possibly very high spiritual and re-
ligious grounds might be cited as
reasons against such divorces; but
these are not the grounds upon
which I base my position. It is
based solely upon human happiness.
A woman, who preserves the out
ward dignity of her home, saves her
children the spiritual disturbance of
losing faith in their father, main
tains her position as wife, mother
and house manager, despite inward
heartbreak and disillusionment, is
in the end far happier than the wom-
an who breaks all ties, pulls up
roots, scars and horrifies young
minds with devastating revelations
of the details of marital failure.
Some Harsh Descriptions.
The proof of this is all about us.
To justify herself in the step she
takes woman describes her faulty
spouse as nothing less than mon
ster. Keep check some time on the
number of your divorced friends who
describe their ex-husbands as fiends,
mental cases, moral degenerates.
Their own mothers can't stand them.
Their clubs have expelled them.
They ought to be in institutions.
"Ann," I said once to friend
who was in course of being di-
vorced, chow could you tell Tommy
and Ellen that Tom struck your"
"Well," she answered defensive
ly she might as well have struck
me as have said some of the things
he did"
This is typical. The accusing
woman lowers herself; she becomes
vituperative and spiteful. Only a
new great love, accompanied with
understanding and patience and gen.
tleness can restore her to normal
attitude toward life. She does not
often find that love; she is in no
condition to find it.
So my advice to her is to stick to it..
To stop suspicion, to conquer SEN
sitiveness, to accept facts. Tom, the
dear, attentive, delightful compan-
ion of only a few years past, loves
another woman. That part of Ma
ry's life is over; the joyous, be-
loved, confident part. She has lived
only for him, adored her son and
daughter partly because they were
also his. It hasn't been enough; it
hasn't saved her.
| Nothing can save Mary from the
bitter humiliation of knowing that
she hasn't been able to hold her
man. Divorce won't save her that;
divorce will only advertise it to the
whole world. Divorce hands all the
trump cards to the new sweetheart;
the latter grabs them easily, and q
few days after the divorce is grant.
ed she marries Tom, to his endur.
ing wretchedness and hers.
Mary is also wretched. Wretched
if she lives lop-sided, lonely life
with the children, sharing their ce.
real and applesauce at six O'Clock
and going to bed at nine. More
vretched if she marries someone
| no doesn't understand them or love
lem.