Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1942-09-22
'MaiI-Order'
Officers Save
WarGIamour
Think Of Night Clubs Loss
Without Them!
BY DAMON RUNYON

out the public on little mat
ter that threatens TO produce an
alarming state of permanent
facial contortion mong our
people. what with the constant
lifting and lip-pursing
that is becoming a national habit
these days.
This matter relates to some
of the appointments OF civilians
to commissions in the army and
navy since the United States
entered the war.
1t appears that the public has
the wrong idea entirely about
these appointments.
1t is slightly shocked by the
seeming Appropriateness, not
to say the seeming improperly
of certain of them.
EVEN in official circles there
II is an erroneous impression
about the appointments, as not
long ago there was talk in con-
gressional circles of an investi-
cation into some 1000 civilian
commissions.
An inquiry that would have
been most unjustified, in my
opinion, and socially embarrass-
ing to many of the subjects.
I imagine that the congress
men are glad that the investiga-
ton did not come off, now that
the government is willing to
take men up to SO years of age,
and statesmen in that bracket
may be wanting commissions,
too.
THE popular error. in my opin-
Il ion, is as to the purpose Of
some of the appointments to
commissions. Personally, / have
been assuming that these pur-
poses in numerous cases. are
honorary or decorative and per-
haps both. and on that basis l
concur in them.
feel that we need a little Of
the military and naval sartorial
soigne, that reaches its keenest
. in these mail-order officers, in
our streets and hung against the
bars in the night clubs.
1t seems to me it sort o lends
wartime atmosphere TO the
landscape and keeps the public
thinking of the war.
It is exactly the type Of Of
ficer of which the critics COM
plain that makes the most
picturesque drapery for interior
settings and touches up a social
scene.
If we have plenty of this type,
we preserve our martial CLAM
our, which is essential in war,
and at the same time release
our more rugged officers to en-
ployment in less effete environ
ment.
Of COURSE, I admit that if
" 1 thought for a minute that
certain of the commission
holders born of the war were
designed for any purpose other
than that which / have sug-
gested, I would be as critical as
anybody else, and moreover, 1
would feel trifle uneasy about
the prospects of our side.
mean to say, if / thought our
combat arrangements were to
depend on the naval or military
acumen or even the general in
telligence of certain of these
blokes, I would deem removal
to a remote cave in the Rockies
highly advisable for one and
all.
DUT so far nothing has de-
- veloped TO indicate that any
of the salient points of our ma
tional safety are to be entrusted
to these caps or that they are
to be devoted to anything be-
yOflu duOt tillCIll, ilCiiNG VIII
slider them most useful and am
disposed to resent aspersions
cast in their direction.
Can you imagine how desolate
a New York night club would
appear these nights without a
commission on the premises?
Let us, then, cease carping
about the appointments.
They could have been much
worse. Suppose commissions
had been given out among
civilians of insufficient means
to provide themselves with
tailor-made uniforms or TO af-
ford the price of refreshments
in the smarter traps?
You can readily see that this
would have been a severe blow
TO our social prestige, to say
nothing of what it would have
cost business.
Copyright, 1912. by King Features
Distributed by International News Service