Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1942-10-21

hchiS SuCIl d . {, II v
should have filled my heart with Joy
and not my eyes with tears, because
slot machines have a bad reputa-
ton in this country, enjoying equal
rank with Jesse James, John Dill
linger and those distinguished Wall
Street gentlemen who were brazen
enough to fleece the public while
adjusting their pince nez.
I know slot machines are cruel
and vicious and unnfair and would
pick pocket if given half a chance
and that there is no record of one
ever helping an old lady across the
street. Still I hate to see them dis
appear and here's the reason why: I
want revenge. My bones ache for
chance to get back at these sullen
iron boxes with bells, cherries,
lemons plums and oranges.
When I saw those three truck
loads rumbling down the street land
I'll bet the drivers of the trucks
stopped at least three times to give
them final despairing play)
knew that I would never have a
chance to pay back the harm they
have done to me. 1t was like Hat
field watching the last Mccoy being
lowered into the grave, victim not
of Hatfield but of angina pectoris
or chicken pox or the wrong kind
Of mushroom.
X
For five years I wasted my money
and time on unsuccessful "sys-
TENS" of beating the machines.
Some of my systems are undoubt-
eddy familiar to you.
One that cost me goodness only
knows how many nickels and dimes
was based on the theory that the
smart time, the right time to play
the machines was after some one
else had put lot of money into
them without getting a pay-off.
I used to stalk the machines and
players like a hungry panther. The
minute a player had put in lots of
change without getting so much as
a two-cherries quit, I would pounce.
This is a no-good system" The
lemons on a slot machine are in
exhaustible.
Another system" was what might
be called the indifferent" system.
This called for walking to a ma
chine, dropping in one coin and
then walking on by without stop
ping to see what happened, With a
shrug of the shoulders, the player
seemed to say, IT'S silly and fool
ish gamble. 7 really don't care
whether I win or not but Just to be
a sport I'll throw away one piece
of change"
This was strictly pose. No man
who ever dropped in a coin and
walked away while the innards of
the machine were still whirling ever
walked so fast or so far that his
ears could not pick up the Joyous
rattle of money dropping into the
pav-off slot.
I and many others who adopted
this what does = it matter pose
have sprained ankles while turning
and sprinting to the machine when
it paid off Is cents.
X
Those good old sucker days are
gone forever, I'll remember them,
however. Sure. l know they were
bad and that the slot machine made
fool out of me and lot of other
people, but did you ever stop TO
remember that the things we re-
member most clearly, the moments
in our lives that are dearest to US,
are the things and the moments
when we took a chance, made a fool
of ourselves or generally acted UNI
like a solid, sound. sterling specimen
Of the human race? Who ever en-
tertained a crowd by telling them
of perfectly logical behavior? How
many people are loved for their
virtues?
Of course, there was heartenins
touch in the sight of the slot ma
chimes going off to fight the Japs
and the Germans. Out of the slot
machine steel and chromium NAV
come the most devastating weapon,
of all time. The basic ingredient is
there, to be sure. The slot machine
even in peace times was a deadly
instrument. Put it in the hands of
engineers and scientists, let them
| increase its powers of misery and
we'll, we'll have a weapon that will
spread all-ttme destruction.
distributed by McNausht Syndicate Incl