The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1942-03-05
GETTING A NEW TIRE


OIL mean what make?
Ats fivver.
Q.-Are you a doctor, nurse, mill
tary officer or veterinarian?
A.-No, but in this emergency any
thing can happen to me.
Q.-Do you use your car exclusive
ly for delivering ice, coal, wood or
oil?
A.-No, it only LOOKS that wayl
Q.-Is it used to transport farm
products?
A.-No; those apples have been
on the floor for three months.
Q.-Do you use it in garbage
collection?
A.-No; the kids mess it up that
way.
Q.-How many people in your
family?
Ask.
Q.-What is your wife's maiden
name?
A.-Jennie.
Q.-Where are you employed?
A.-Say, am here to get new
tire or some new life insurance!
Q.-We've got to be careful to con-
serve rubber. It's important to be
sure you are the sort of person who
would get the most out of a tire.
Got to know your background.
Aim special case. My wife's
relatives live with me and they all
demand transportation in my car.
Otis not bus!
A.-That's what you think!
Q.-From all the facts, I do not
think we can classify you for GER
tificate above the rate of D-12.
A.-What's the top class?
Q-A-3.
A.-Never mind new tire. I'll
settle for a tire patch and used
inner tube!
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1T SEEMS SO
I've very often heard it said
That doughty generals die in bed;
That, far from the repugnant strife,
They, fiuffed in feathers, part with
life.
But, looking over Hitler's list,
And at the ones the Russians miss'd
I've come to the conclusion sad
| That NaZi generals die Gin bad"
The Indoor Hat-Wearers' League
We are glad to hear that Bill
Knudsen works with his hat on. eft
helps me think" he says. We are
charter member of the League OF
Indoor Hat Wearers, and have stood
for much criticism through theyears.
We wore our bonnet as a boy
editor of the New Haven Register.
We wore it constantly on the copy
desk of the old Globe. We have new
er taken it off at work since. To
remove it for minute means a COM
plete stoppage of thought and con-
fidence. It is good to know that a
man like Mr.. Knudsen belongs to
| our club.
Mickey Rooney is now a mar
ried man and it makes millions
of Americans suddenly feel old.
1t is difficult to imagine that
Mickey, the Number One Kid
of the Movie World, now has to
bring home groceries, help hang
pictures and do his part In
selecting new wall Daper.
We hear that Mickey may now
play the judge in the Judge Hardy
series, with Louis Stone playing the
kid part.
Ina Dodo got one of those sugar
ration stamps the other day. But
she says she put it in her coffee and
it wouldn't even dissolve.
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| ADD WONDERMEN. No. S756
An able man
| Is Jeptha Beans:
He knows just what
The budget meansl
The Office Pessimist says the
thing to begin worrying over now
is the Emergency following the
Emergency.
Roosevelt wants to create the
impression that the United States
was attacked by Japan, which is not
true" Berlin newspaper item.
Just imagination, Ell?
This country will spend bill
lion dollars week for war. 1t
is just pin money, the idea being
to pin the Axis to the mat.
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| Hi-Some of the recently exposed
activities of the OCD suggest that
the slogan then being followed was
Strength Through Joyridingl" SIS.
The latest type of robber is the
fellow who ransacks the bathing
house to get one of those inner tubes
used for swimming lessons last
lyear.
FOR SALE - / pair reading
glasses; have no further use for
same. AID reported in rural pa
per by Robert w. Rogers.