The Waterbury Democrat., 1942-04-28

In the telephone book or the Census
 Bureau records, because they have Int any names. This excludes Mir,
 Harry Hopkins, of course, because
 though ho has 0 name, it's not In
 the telephone book and he isn't
 often Q spokesman.
 The latest addition to the offioial
 family of the White House spokes-
 man = remember the one Calvin
 Coolidge hads-siS this Sweet Young
 Thing Who Came to Dinner" She's
 the dumb cluek guest who asks just
 how General MacArthur got out of
 the Philippines and where did
 those planes come from that homb-
 ed Tokyo She is a kind of on in.
 vert Charlotte Mccarthy or Grace
 less Allen who sits at the Presidents right, If not on his knee. Instead of
 giving dumb answers to his smart questions, she asks dumb questions
 that he can give smart answers to,
 like telling that MaeArthur escaped in Q rowboat and the planes were based on Shangri.Lo.
 Tn the White House Minstrel Show, this Sweet Young Tliing Who Game to Dinner is the straight wo. man, feeding the lines to the other member of the troupe for these terrific VOWS, It's the best act fn Washington today and the gag lines are it 10 kill. By oil means this script should be put on the air --- no, not given the air = spon- sored by the Ofllco Of Facts and Figures for home consumption and beamed by short wave to the western hemisphere for Co-ordI. nator of American Affairs Nelson Rockefeller, and to the rest of the world for Co-ordinator William J. DonovGns propaganda Ofnce of Information,
 WOULD UTTER
 THE LAPS
 Just think of the possibilities of throwing confusion into the Jap- Grlese general staff by 50 doing. Sup. pose they pick Up this line about the secret base on Shangri-La. You can just see beSpectacled, toothy, humor- less Jap scholars searching every atlas in the imperial library to 10. cate Shangri.La, This would be pgy- chological warfare befitting 6 Su. preme command.
 But the Sweet Young Thing Who Game to Dinner isn't the only member of the White House spokesman's ofilcc. There's That Business Man. Remember him? That Business Man hasn't been heard from lately, but he's the fellow who used to call at the White House during depression days and tell the President, who would then tell his press confer ence, that the country could easily stand Q national debt of S76 billion. Oh boyi But isn't that funny todayl It has taker about eight years and war and Sl20 billion debt for that one to sink in and be fully appreciated.
 REMEMBER
 THE PROF?
 Then there is The Professor Of Economies. He wasn't exactly in the original Brain Trust but he's there now. That is, hc writes letters there now. Like the Sweet Young Thing Who Came to Dinner, The Professor of Economies feeds his lines to the boss for the come esback. The Pro-- lessor, for instance, writes in to the White House saying that fedora! non-war expenses should Dc cut, Economy iG Q silly thing to write A letter about, but 1t gives the boss his cue. He comes back with c "Wherc7" that simply leaves cvcry- one dumb-founded.
 The saving grace of the Aners ican people Is that they have SenSe of hunlor. It's worth net'f. ing for, and freedom to laugh" should be added to the c6ncf IJnr freedoms. Contributing to that enjoyment, this department would like to suggest that ag 2 curtain raiser for the next fireside chat there be Q Round Table Of the Air discussion Of the war at which the characters would be The White House Spokesman, the Young Lady Who Came to Dinner, That | Business Man and The Professor Of Economies.
 It might be 2 little dificuIt to | tell the voices apart, or diStlr- guiSh them from The Voice, but | . couple of lessons in vcntriIO- quirn would fix that, And tust aS on Information, PleaSet" there could be guest stars, For instance, Harold IeigAa.