Evening star., 1942-10-09

denry McAemoTe. were Britain ana
Russia. Each mail brings tubes and
messages of good, cheer from all over
the country and my usually WELL
ordered home is rapidly taking on
the appearance Of a six-room SAL
wage heap. If were to exchange
all the empty tubes now on hand
for filled ones, would have enough
toothpaste to brush the tusks of
every elephant in Africa and suf1i-
cient lather to soften the bristles OF
every Fuller brush ever made.
If any of you are unfortunate
enough to lose your spare tube, you
know to whom to turn.
The reasons given by the donors
are varied. M. w. Weathers of
Augusta, Ga. who started the ava
lanche, must still remember Sher-
mans march to the sea. because his
contribution is based on the War
Between the States.
Hoping to help Offset the Yankee
criticism of the State of Georgia
and its natives, I consider it my duty
as one of your fellow Georgians to
present you with two tubes, which
trust you will guard more closely.
The reason for my having two tubes
on hand is not one of forethought,
but one of neglect to clean out the
medicine closet. You should have
known that so long as fellow Geor-
gians are alive, you would not have
to commit thievery to survive"
Louis Alrood of the Bronx, New
York, felt obliged to come to my
aid because he had seen a picture
of me.
Il have only one tube, but you
are welcome to it. If one of us
must give up shaving for the dura-
ton, let me be the one. After look
ing at your picture I do not believe
you could wear a red beard and
still mingle with the general public"
Patriotism inspired 1t. David A.
Field. Central Instructors School.
Maxwell Field, to send along a spare
tube.
AS a patriotic countryman and
a firm believer in national unity
during such perilous days, the leu-
tenant wrote, II inclose an extra
tube for your benefit. I secured
this extra tube by stealthily spying
on people in hotels, and ransacking
the medicine chests of homes to
which I was invited. So shave of
that rainbow beard. I have one
and it was never intended for pub.
lie gaze" '..-
AS grateful as I am to all those
who responded to my, call for an
empty tube, I cannot help feel that
I made grave mistake. What
would you people have done had I
made a personal plea for $40 bills?
1t would have been an honest plea,
too, because as badly as I need
toothpaste I need $40 bills worse.
Boy, what pleasure 1t would
have been to have opened the mail
and to have had those beautiful
green things float out! Let me have
enough Of those bills in my pocket
and I wouldn't care If my beard
were 50 long that it kept catching
in my shoe laces.
When income tax time comes
around next year, Mr.. Morgenthau
Is not going to care whether YOU
are clean shaven of not or have
teeth like pearls. But he is going
to be hopping mad if you don't have
enough OF those $40 bills to suit
him. If you have ever tried to
short-change Uncle Sam, you know
what happens. He sends you to a
free rooming house whess they
shave you for nothing.
My next step is to get the vast
amount OF scrap now on hand to
the proper authorities. There's
enough to build anything they use
the stuff for. even if it is a tank.
III just take it to the drugstore
and risk having the druggist report
me as the Nations No. l hoarder,
Certainly, no druggist is ever going
to believe that one man ever used
up that much toothpaste and shaw
ing cream, even If he brings a letter
from his pastor and character
reference from his high school
principal. OF course, I'm not sure
I could get either.
Distributed b. McNauKht Syndicate. Incl