Evening star., 1942-09-23


makes for happiness. Pedestrians
are now run down before they know
it and are spared the shock Of stand
ing there and waiting for the Inn
pact of fender against flesh.
.Broadway's lights are turned out,
too. 1t Is now possible to walk down
the best-known street on earth with
out having to read, In bulbs, tt1e
answer for all and any needs. You
may have stomach ache, but the
lights don't tell you what to do
about 1t. You may be cursed with
ticklish throat, round heels, an i'm
faithful cook and bladder trouble,
but neon signs don't scream a cure.
Still. If had to name the biggest
blessing that the war has brought,
I would venture into the field Of
architecture. 1t is now prohibited
to build house that costs mora
than such-and-such a sum. This
is tough on the architects, but what
a blessing 1t is for us who used to
have to visit new homes. -
There are few things worse than
having to accompany the new owner
Of new house through a new house.
1t all means 50 much to him and SO
little to any one else. The closet
space drives him to raptures. Bath
rooms make him jump up and down
in ecstasy. He swoons as he shows
guestrooms, and he can talk for an
hour on how the choice of wallpaper
for the kitchen was made. "a
But of all the things about a new
house, the worst is the rumpus room.
Some people don't call it the rumpus
room, but it's the rumpus room no
matter what they call it. It may
be the playroom, IT may be the en-
tertainment room, 1t may be the
"fussroom," but 1t is still the rumpus
room. u
There was q time when home
builders didn't include a rumpus
room. They figured that guests
could have sufficient fun In the
standard rooms. But not today. Il,
There is never any great difaculty
IN spotting the rumpus room. #
usually is the one that is filled with
steam pipes and all sorts of over
head trappings.
A few years ago 1t was called the
basement. h.
No more. You walk down a steep
flight OF stairs into cold, wet, damp
room. Your host always says, "WeH,
you can cut loose down here. No
one can hear you."
/ ++* "a
| He's right. You are no sooner in
the place than double pneumonia
sets In Casually while the host is
looking for the ping pong net to 90
on the ping pong table that started
warping as long ago as 1906. There
Is nothing sadder than the average
rumpus room ping pong outfit UNLESS
1t be rumpus room dart game. "A
dart game is standard equipment.
No one is able to locate more than
three darts, two of which have bent
points that wouldn't pierce q pound
OF butter, with the third undergoing
moulting so that its feathers are low
and droopy.
This Is always bar in the rumplis
room. Not much of a bar, but q
little sideboard affair that sits over
in the corner and pouts because 1t
isn't big enough to do any good.
The host always steps behind the
bar and cries, ,"Okay, folks, what do
you want? Step right up. First
come, first served!"
This is strictly gag. If you aren't
wise enough to ask for a warm, nat
bottle OF bear, you might just as well
not order at all. That's all the
rumpus room bars will handle.
| Sometimes there is an old piano
that hasn't been tuned since Dewey
came home. The hostess always
bangs that couple of times. Why?
Ask the hostess.
| The rumpus room is the worst fea-
ture OF the American home. 81
The war has put a stop to the
building of homes large enough 10
accommodate these horrors. "a
Miss Lucy Monroe, will you please
sing the only song you know? In
gratitude. Strictly.
Distributed by McNausht Syndicate, Incl