Evening star., 1942-09-25

AiaFC4C4o fA1o
workers clucked about me like
old hens.
Red caps offered to solace me, for
the standard 10 cents q solace.
The stations private detectives Of
fered to throw me out for the stand
ard nothing.
Tender hearted commuters pressed
gum and candy into my hands, prov
ing either that New Yorkers have a
heart or that they didn't want the
candy.
But still wept. I imagine when
1 tell you why I was crying you will
agree that I had reason.
On returning from an overnight
journey on the train. I discovered
that somewhere along the line /
had lost my suitcase. All efforts to
locate 1t were in vain. In itself, 1t
was a nice leather suitcase which I
had borrowed from friend 10 years
ago. had new suit in 1t, four or
five shirts, a stout pair Of boots,
undergarments with the patented
banjo seat and the usual assortment
OF ties and handkerchiefs.
My wardrobe is not 50 extensive
that can suffer such q haber-
dasherial loss. But this was not
the reason for my tears. Wrapped
up IN q hotel towel (Which, Of
course. had bought before check
ing out) were the only tubes Of
toothpaste and shaving cream that
possessed. They were nearly ex-
hausted and were to be turned In
within few days for full tubes.
Here was, all of sudden, with
no tubes to ever turn in again. Not
until the Nazi system is crushed
into the ground, and the japanese
are buried alongside, would / ever
be able to purchase another tube of
toothpaste or shaving cream.
1t was when the full realization
OF my predicament hit me that I
started crying. The thought of 60
ing through the long years ahead,
with nary a tube Of toothpast and
nary q tube of shaving cream, was
too much for me.
! realized that there was 4 tube
OF toothpaste at home, but also
realized what this meant--that never
again could I 60 anywhere without
taxing the whole family. From now
on 1t must be share and share alike
NO matter where my business called
me everybody must go along 50 that
al OF us would be able to use the
one tube Of toothpaste still owned
by the family.
started figuring out the terrible
expense OF such a situation. No
longer just single upper berth.
My wife, her relatives, my relatives,
all OF US must move about the
country.
AS for the shaving cream, I don't
look well in a beard to start with.
MY beard Is a sort Of coat OF Joseph's 8
beard. In IS years it has. vet ia
make up its little boards mind as ia
what color it prefers to be. It starts
on no color at all, so that for the
nrst flve or six days, I look as If I
ought to go home and wash nv face
Then, all of sudden, it turns Grim.
son, but only in spots. Other parts
OF 1t are tan, brown, mauve and the
eventual effect Is that Of a tree In
autumn. 1t hurts me to think that
sooner or later I will have to 20 To
Davey Tree surgeon to have nv
beard clipped.
wen, you see my predicament.
The whole picture is dismal, A fat
little man with a red beard travelling
around the country with his entire
household accompanying him. By
now you must know what have set
my heart on-the theft of q tube Of
shaving cream and tube of tooth
paste. There isn't a medicine closet
that is safe from me. warn you
right now. that If you invite me to
your home, you had better keep an
eye on me and give me a slight
frisk before I leave.
Ha! Henry the Gonir
Who would have ever thought that
one OF the proud McLemores, who
nave never stolen anything smaller
tnan horse, would stoop to pettv