Evening star., 1942-06-02
Don't Marry
To Escape
Your Job
Girl Is Very Unfair
To Her Husband
And Herself
By Dorothy Dir

Dear Dorothy Dix: I am tired OF
having to punch the time clock every
morning and stand behind a counter
all day and wearing myself out try
ing to sell things to women who are
shopping instead of buying and
taking bawlings-out from the floor
walker. am going to marry so that
I can take life easy. I am not in
love with the man, but I like him
we'll enough-at least I like him
better than do a job.
Do you think will be happy?
A SALESCIRL.
Answer-Frankly, no. Marriage
should be vocation, not an avoca-
ton. 1t takes lot of love to keep
any wife happy and contented and
glad she married the man she did
and thinking that working to make
him a comfortable home Is the most
interesting and exciting occupation
in the world. And if you haven't
got the love, you lack what 1t takes.
Your marriage falls fiat and you
wonder whatever made you do it.
know that many girls marry for
a home and to get husbands to sup
port them. They think how won
derful it would be to lie abed of a
morning instead of having to get in
the kitchen and rush through
pickup breakfast and get down to
the Office on time. And how much
pleasanter it would be to spend the
afternoons at the movies than it
would be to try to sell some fat old
lady a do-funny hat. And what
blessed relief it would be to let
somebody else have to wrestle with
the bills.
But for very few women in the
world is marriage a life of Sybaritic
ease. For the great majority of
wives marriage is an 18-hour job,
with no holidays and Sundays of,
instead of an eight-hour job, and it
is far harder work than they have
ever done before 1t is getting up
and getting breakfast, getting their
husbands off to work and the chill
dren off to school, fixing the baby's
bottle, washing dishes, making beds,
sweeping floors, listening to the
baby's squalls and the children's
fights, going to market, cooking
more meals and sitting up after all
the others have gone to bed to do
the patching and darning
And the work is done within four
walls instead of in an Office, where
there is coming and going and see
ing new people and something is
happening all the time. And there
is no pay envelope on Saturday
night. And husbands say things to
their wives that no employer would
dare to say to good stenographer
or a f1rst-class saleswoman.
All Of these things are right and
fine and worth while if you are
doing them for husband you love.
That glorifies every sacrifice and
turns making a home into the
grandest career that a woman can
follow. But if she doesn't love her
husband, it changes the picture into
the dulleSt and drabbest and hardest
job woman can have.
And think of the mans side of the
matter a little. Don't you think
that you are doing an awfully low
down, dishonest trick in marrying a
man you do not love under false
pretenses? You know well enough
that you have made him believe that
you love him, or else he would not
be assuming your support for the
balance of your life He isn't mar
rying just to get a housekeeper. He
can hire one at any employment
agency for tenth of what your up
keep would be, and he would be free
to fire her If she didn't know how
to cook or got temperamental or
lost her good looks, whereas he will
have to keep you, no matter how
tat you got or how hard you are to
get along with.
No, he Is marrying you because he
loves you and because he believes
you love him.