Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1942-03-05
Gin Rummy
Held Menace
To Morale
All Kinds Of Germs Turk
in Game, Runyon Says
By DAMON RUNYON

10 our complete satisfaction
that the germs of influenza. in
digestion. incoherence, insecure
ity and insanity Turk IN gin
rummy, we have again re-
nounceed this insidious pastlme
forever. We think il should be
abated by the authorities as 4
menace to public morale.
We are sure that this sug-
gestion will be enthusiastically
supported by many ever-loving
wives Of Hollywood and Beverly
Hills whose patience with their
husbands has been exhausted
by gin rummy.
A number of these wives re-
Gently banded together in an
organization known as the Gin
Raid Wardens and individually
and collectively they patrol the
various haunts Of the rumrnies
and either collar them outright
or send word TO sister-Wardens
who hold matrimonial interest
in the runs.
TT is a most depressing scene.
L indeed. 10 behold a well
known husband being hauled
out of Chasens, Romanoff's.
Mike Lyman's, or even out Of
some private home by a deter
mined gin-raid warden just as
he has been blitzed a series Of
three games, blitzed being the
gin-rummy term for goose
egged.
The suffering Of the husband
under such conditions is pitiful
10 behold and yet all thinking
persons will admit that there
seems 10 he no other solution OF
the current situation out here.
Personally We feel that this
concerted action on the part OF
the wives indicates a hardening
Of female character quite sp-
proprlate 10 the times and IN
striking contrast 10 the fabbl-
ness Of other days. as for in
stance the golf-widow era.
In those days the face OF
little Hester against the win
dow pane, looking and longing
for the return OF husband from
the golf course. was a familiar
sight in all neighborhoods.
IT NEVER occurred To the
L poor golf widow 10 fare
forth and corral the tardy hus-
band at the ninth hole and belt
him with a niblick. II was
generation OF weakling wives.
No backbone. No Spunk.
Now the most tlmorous OF
wives out here. once she has
been vested with the authority
Of gin-raid warden has no
hesitancy about walking IN on
a Gin game and Selling her
husbands cards and tearing
them up and maybe making
him eat en-. especially il he
has a bad hand.
II is possible that this new
movement may tend To abate
the alarming increase in men,
tai disorders hereabouts. which
is directly traceable TO the gin
rummy epidemic. You can
stand on almost any corner IN
Hollywood and see and hear
citizens talking 10 themselves.
They are usually persons who
waited 10 go gin as the say.
ing is, Gaming they kept
drawing cards trying to COM
pletely fill out a hand 10 get
double count.
4 MOTHER symptom Of the
n disintegration of the brain
due 10 gin rummy is murderous
impulses usually centerin
about kibltZers who nudge an
opponent a. he is about 10 over
look a play or muImur "uh--
uh. While no actual crimes OF
first degree nature have yet
been reported IN these parts.
there is no denying that some
may yet he contemplated. a gin
player can stand Just so much
from a kihitzer.
a curious development Of the
local epidemic is the fact that
all the professional card players
out here have taken up gin,
mainly because il is the only
game in town, and are being as
SaSsinatcd by amateurs.
a man who would stand no
chance whatever against pro-
fesSional in the ordinary short
card game is an even-money
shot against a shark in gin.
which is Is per cent luck. no
matter what anybody tries 10
tell YOU 10 the contrary
AS q result. the professionals
are thoroughly bewildered. They
know they are better card play
ers than the amateurs. But they
are getting walloped for their
dough Just the same. II looks
as though the ranks Of the bug
house will soon he augmented
by the pros.
Copyright 1882, by King Pastures
Distributed nv International News Service