Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1942-07-03
.KissabIe Lana
PrOUes Ideal
Bond Seller

DOfLNt Nv
HOLLYWOOD. July 3--Lans
Turner reported a multi-million'
dollar sale today in kisses (anc
war bondsl and said she believed
her venture into combining high
finance and OSCILLATION was an un.
qualified success. She received ne
complaints from any client.
The customers who paid $4,000
each GOT their moneys worth, she
said in bonds.
The eminently kiSSable Miss
Turner was home from a tour OF
San Francisco, Portland. Seattle
Spokane. Tacoma and way places
during which she sold $3.50, 00C
worth Of kisses and securities
That's a lot of money Miss Turner
said
The blond Lana had just fin
ishcd some concentrated kissing
in the arms Of an expert, named
Clark Gable, when she started her
tour 10 days ago.
IT'S A BUSINESS
IL had no idea I'D he doing
more kissing" she said. THE
studio (Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer)
assigned three of its best writ
ers 10 write me some bond
selling speeches. They were
swell speeches. all about friends,
Romans, cOuntrymen. told
the head men I couldn't talk
that kind Of stuff. never had
appeared before the public be-
fore. didn't know how 10
make speeches.
$50 I just told the people I
couldn't make speeches. 1 told
'em I guessed they knew rs well
as i did why they should buy
bonds. So I said, Buy EN-
They did. IL was wonderful"
$4,000 KISSES
Or at least il was until Miss
Turner, her mother. and her press
agent reached Portland. Ore.
where there were more press
agents.
"And they told me that II
would he a good idea II I'd kiss
the buyer of $50, 900 bonds" she
continued. II said thought
that was kind of cheap. They
said not at $4,000 each, II
wasn't. Anyhow. they'd adver-
tised that there'd he kisses.
There were kisses.
1.-THE first $4,000 customers
were two nice old ladies. That
was a kind of jolt. II wasn't
exactly what expected. But i
took their money and kissed
them both full on the mouth.
They were sweet Those old
ladies.
Then I kissed three men.
Two OF them seemed to want
kisses on the mouth. That Is
what they got. The third was
little and about 80 years old.
He walked with a cane. But he
had his $4,000 and he wanted
his kiss. Only when he came
to get II he seemed terribly
nervous.
$50 I just kissed him on the
cheek. He seemed to appreciate
that.
HE hobbled away. blushing,
and that seemed TO exhaust the
$4,000 customers. Many an
other yelped that he'd put up
S18.75 any old day to kiss Lana
Turner.
YOUTH MUST BE SERVED
"And then there came n 81
year-old boy. who said he was
joining the air corps the very
next day." Miss Turner contin-
ued. "He said he'd taken $4,000,
his entire life savings, and that
he wanted kiss. I did not see
how such a young boy could
have saved up $1,000. but there
II was. SO I gave him a kiss,
too. Then the newsreel men
said we'd have to do II over
again.
$50 I kissed him twice. Dur
ing the second kiss the crowd
seemed 10 rumble. Then they
cheered. II was amazing"
Miss Turner said she had giver
considerable thought 10 the ques
ton: When gentleman pay!
$50, 900 for a bond and a kiss, ha.
he got his mind on investing hi!
money at 3 per cent?,
81 sincerely hope the answer
Is YES" she said. "A kiss at
$4,000 really Is pretty expen-
sive. Believe me, IL isn't worth
H."
Comic Cartoon