Evening star., 1942-07-03

& ~ #$# vital 10 the war
- sss Naturally, all
Henry McLemore. of us will do our
best to cooperate with the board.
but It's members must not feel too
badly If we don't show 100 per cent
cooperation from the start.
We Americans are so used to pick
Ing up the telephone Is to 20 times
a day that to ask us suddenly to
abandon 1T probably would give us
a form Of the bends" We must
wean ourselves away from the use
Of the telephone, just as some un-
fortunate folk gradually have to give
up the use of Intoxicating spirits or
the clipping of coupons.
Local-call telephonitis Is bad, but
the acute, galloping form known as
long distance telephonitis Is much
worse. Once you catch this, the only
cure for it is the bills that you get
once month, and even that re-
qulreS long time.
Calls England for Time.
Let us have one too many drinks
of water, one too many bites OF any
of half a hundred foods, and the
sight of telephone floods our mind
with memories of dear and nearly
forgotten friends in San Francisco,
Atlanta, Boston, Dallas, New
Orleans. Denver and Los Angeles.
We have talked to more people
who didn't know who we were, or
who remembered us only as the
rather stout man over In the corner
who tried to do card tricks. than
there are publicity agents in Wash
ington. But we are Just beginner
at the heady weed of long distance
telephonitis compared with some of
our friends.
Take Harry Grayson, NEA sports
editor. When Harry wants the cor
rect time he doesn't call the local
central, but turns Immediately to
the central of some city that isn't
even in the same hemisphere. More
than once he has returned to Sit
ting room to announce proudly that
his watch Is the only really correct
one In the house, having Just called
England and set it by Greenwich
meantime
Sheriff Is His Pal.
Harry was at our home not long
ago. Some one in the group that
was gathered missed Harry. We
rushed to the telephone Just In
time to catch this bit of conversa-
ton:
But you do remember me, Sher-
III. Sure, you do, I was through
your town a couple Of years ago.
Just got to thinking about you and
felt 1 had to call you up"
We banged down the hook.
Whom were you talking tor
we asked.
"A pal OF mine. The sheriff In
Las Vegas. Helluva good guy. Should
have called him up long ago. II
you ever go through there, be sure
to give him ring"
Collect Calls Suggested.
There's Mr.. Dick Andrade of Dali
las, an oil man who has raised moro
money for the Chinese than anv
other one American. He should
leave his brain to the Bell TeIe-
phone Co. If the company ever
found out what inspired Mr.. An
drade to turn to the long-distancs
telephone as often as he does, and
was able to communicate 1t to other
Americans, it could close shop and
retire all its employees on a hand
some pension within a year.
He scorns calls to any city nearer
than Bombay, though he did make
a call from Louisville to Honolulu
one Derby week to have a Jug band
play Hawaiian music to his friends
in Hawaii, who took turns listening.
Once a newspaperman named
Henry McLemore called Guatemala
on our telephone for no other rea-
son than that 1t looked like the
best bargain Of all the foreign coun-
tries listed. He didn't mind at all,
but his wife did and dragged him
away from the phone just as hs
was beginning to learn a little Span
ish from the operator in Guatemala.
If the web would be kind enough
to take a suggestion from us on
how to reduce long-distancs calls,
here 1t is: Make 1t compulsory that
all long-distance calls be collect.
Distributed By McHausht Syndicate. Inc