Evening star., 1942-04-23

Macarthur Jones or williams or
Fitzpatrick or whatever their last
names happen to be. But there are
notable exceptions. Deep in Ala.
bama. squalling in their cribs at,
the moment. is set of twins with
the unforgettable names of Foxhole
Moulton and Bataan Moulton. AIld,
in Maine. soon to cut his eye-teeth,
is future voter who was christened
Just General" in the sound cons
viction that every one would know
what general had been honored. Z
1t was also brought to my atten-
ton by my Facts and Figures
Bureau (Which 1 trust won't de-
mand a new S1,000,000 Office with q
marble information booth) that
since Gen. Macarthur made his un-
dying stand in the Philippines mo-
fewer than 3,451 streets in almost
as many towns have been re-nameds
for him. In several cities citizens
have almost come to blows over.
their claims to have been the first
to do away with Oak street in favor
Of Macarthur boulevard. 60
+%* y i
In addition to babies and streets,
my bureau tells me that office build-s
ings, parks, public squares, tourist
camps and one tea room eye Olda
Douglas MacArthur) have been
named for Americas No. military
man.
All of this, mind you, since De"
cember 7. 1t is logical to beliese
that Gen. Macarthur is only be-
ginning to gather steam. A few
months from now. after he has sue-
cessfully defended Australia and
has started giving the Japanese a
bit of their own medicine, he will
really start getting honored. The
1924 babes which have been named
for him to date will be Just a drop
In the bucket, as will be the 3,45f
streets. BY the time this war Is
finished, and Gen. Macarthur liz
living with his medals and meme<
ries, he may be called upon 10 come
forth once again and help straight-
en- out the confusion for which he
and his achievements alone are rev
sponsible.
Let us picture a stranger motor
ing through a strange town in 1867.
He loses his way and halls a passing
resident for directions.
Gould you please tell me where
Douglas Macarthur Jones Ives2"
why, certainly. Go up to the
first traffic light and turn right on
Macarthur avenue. Follow that
down until you see big building
on your right. Thatll be Mac
Arthur Opera House in the middle
of the square. Go on around Mac
Arthur square and take the first
left. which is big wide street, Gen.
Macarthur boulevard. Follow that
out through Douglas Park until you
come to a big white building.
That'n be Macarthur High School.
Turn left there and 60 through
Gen. Douglas subdivision and you1l
eventually come to Gen. MacArthlft
Circle. Go straight on through that
for three blocks and you'll come 10
Macarthur lane That's the street
you want. That's the one Douglas
Macarthur Jones lives on" 12s
Much obliged. You've been so
nice. may I inquire your namea
Mine is Doug Eastman"
Nice to know you, Mr.. Eastman.
Mine Is D. M. Tracey"
So, Mr.. Eastman, in his new Mac
Arthur straight-eight automobile,
arrives at the wrong house. just as
all of us do when we ask directions.
AS he walks up the wrong driveway,
a bulldog starts swapping at him.
The door of the house opens and
a voice calls: ZEE
Here, Macarthur. Stop barking
at strangers" .f,,-
The head Of the house straightens
out Mr.. Eastman. He has been d.
rected to the house of Douglas Mac
Arthur Goodrich. Douglas Mac
Arthur Jones lives Just around the
corner on Macarthur place. or
"You won't have any trouble ffid-
ing them" the owner OF the buAl-
dog will explain. They live right
next door TO the D. Macarthur
Herricks"