Evening star., 1942-03-28

Henry McLemere. terS.
The Government needs TO take
but one more step to make this set
up perfect. Bring in some horses
and resume racing at Santa Anita.
Racing was called of at Santa
Anita earlier in the year as a war
measure. 1t is my contention that
1t now should be reinstated-as a
war measure.
1t doesn't make sense to have
that many Japanese suckers living
at race track without seizing such
royal opportunity to take their
money away from them. Japanese
are born gamblers anyway, and it
would be only matter of time until
the horses had taken enough from
the Japs' kimono pockets to buy a
raft of Defense bonds.
~ -
Santa Anita for the Japanese
would not have to be run exactly
as Santa Anita was run for Ameri-
cans before the war. 1t was strictly
legitimate then. with everything on
the up and up. But, for the Japa-
nese, who proved at Pearl Harbor
that they enjoy bit of the old
trlckery, Santa Anita could be oper-
ated with few cute touches guar
anteed to separate them from their
yen.
The official, trained Santa Anita
starter could be replaced by a man
who had a son serving on a sub
marine in the South Pacific. This
would insure that the horse the
Japanese aliens had installed as a
favorite. and were backing with
heavy dough. would get none the
best of it when the field was sent
away.
The complex. foolproof photo-fn-
lsh camera could be taken out and
a 1910 box-type Brownie No. l in
stalled. As this type of camera has
difficulty catching any object that
moves faster than an equestrian
statue, the Japs couldn't count on
too fair shake in q blanket finish.
The number Of races on the nro-
gram could be increased from eight
to just as many As could be nun
between sunup and dark. Post
time for the first race would he
am. and the last one wouldn't
be run until just before the sun
went down.
No Jap, no matter how smart
a Handicapped. could lick such a
program. 1t requires genius to beat
an eight-race program, as 80 many
OF us know. Not even a horse
player who combined the talents OF
Leonardo da Vinci. Thomas Edison.
Socrates and Roger Babson could
hope to escape defeat from a 30
race card.
To make it even tougher for the
Japs all the disbarred jockeys, train
ers and owners in the country
would be extended an invita- ton to
go to Santa Anita and give the
Nipponese a thorough going over.
The saliva test business would be
abandoned and any horse that
didn't actually do iitterbug dance
as he crossed the finish line would
be passed as normal Instead of
giving watch to the jockey who
rode the most favorites during the
meeting. grandfather's clock
would be awarded the rider who
pulled up the most favorites.
DYE jobs would be readily accept
ed and trainers would be as busy
as mothers before Easter, brewing
up various tints. Welshing book
makers would be greeted with open
arms and allowed TO do as much
business as tney CoulC.
The big race of the year would
be the Hara-Kiri Handicap. Every
Japanese naturally would prepare
himself for a big killing.
At the last moment, unbeknownSt
to the Japanese. some fine horse
like Whirlaway or Alsab would be
shipped in and his name temporar-
lily changed to something that would
keep the Japs from betting on him.
A name like Tokio-in-Ashes the I'd,
with breeding by Bomber out Of
Alaska. Or Japan n-Is-Licked, by
1914 out of Natural Resources.
Not only would the money raised
at Santa Anita under this scheme
come in very handy for the Gov
ernment. but think of how Toxic
would appreciate the treatment of
its subjects in this country when
word got back there that all they
did was to 60 to the horse races
from morning until night.
Distributed by McNaught Syndicate. Incl