davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Browning chief. [volume] (Browning, Mont.) 1941-1953, 1942-09-18
"Segn1ented' Beet
Experiment Is Made

Results from an experimental plant
ing Of the new "segmented" beet seed
on his farm at Paisley indicate that
by being careful and spacing only
with a long-handled hoe, we can get
80 to go beets in 100 foot row." says
L. S. Humphrey, Glasgow field man
for the Utah-Idaho Sugar Co.
Results from the segmented seed are
being watched by growers because it
may be possible to eliminate consider
able Stoop and handwork This should
allow wider use OF unskilled labor in
beet fields.
The old type beet seed actually, in
each case, was a clump of seeds. The
new type is a single seed segment.
Seed used on the Humphrey land
was seeded with an ordinary drill.
termination was very good Humph-
rey said.
Soon after planting, the experiment.
al plot was irrigated Part of it was
flooded SO the ground surface was
crusted. However, the growing beets
broke through the crust on fairly
heavy soil without difficulty, the field
man reported.
Il believe it will be possible to use
our old drills and have fair luck with
the new seed and the beets will be
seeded at long enough intervals so
thinning will be much easier" he con-
Guided.
Humphrey said beet farmers should
inspect the seeding.
Browning chief. [volume] (Browning, Mont.) 1941-1953, 1942-09-18
neuvered the car into action.

neuvered the car into action.
Know this road?" he asked her as
they raced along at almost twice the
speed she would have travelled.
Every inch of it."
Good. Where's the nearest house,"
About mile further on. I'm not
sure its occupied. Summer residents
are going home now, you know"
It's furnished, amt it?'
oh, yes, but it may be locked and
barred"
That won't worry me- Sims got to
have a DOCTOR
Anxious about me all of a sudden,
or want to get rid of me?' the pas
senger asked with a twisted smile.
Want to get rid of you is right. The
sooner we part the better for both of
us and you know it,
Both men had evidently forgotten
the older ones claim that the other
was merely hitch-hiker.
The younger man nodded.
It's not as bad as you think. The
leg isn't broken. I'm sure of that now.
It's only bad sprain. The arms
broken, all right. It hurts like the
devil But dump me anywhere. I'll take
care of myself"
You'll have to, from now on. I'll
dump you at this house the dame says
/ is near here"
The dame" heard the conversation
but her thoughts were busy with two
discoveries. These two were associates.
not strangers. Also, the driver had
said "wrln't." Otherwise his diction was
average. His clothes were good, though
bit flashy He was on his native
heath but Mollie Pearce, herself a
New Highlander, had classified him at
a glance.
"A nasty customer" she told her
self. Il wouldn't like to meet him on
this road on a dark night. The other
man seems different
The driver was now giving close at
tention to his driving, and was in
creasing his speed. He spoke again
without looking at her.
I'm going to borrow your car
what do you mean?"
Just what l say. l leave you and
this fella at the farm and l go on to
the Junction See? I got to catch a
train. leave this car at the Junction
II see." She didn't quite see. But
the fact that he was catching train
would explain his speed and his ner-
vousneSS.
IF that farmhouse isn't open" she
began.
It'll be open, all right. I'll open it."
He stopped and added an obvious sec
ond thought: IF you want I'll send
someone back here for you with your
car from the Junction. A doctor, too,
for Slim here. o. k.?'
Yes, please. Thank you"
There was nothing to be done but
agree. She realized that. The man
spoke again.
I'D like to go on to the Junction,
too, Joe. I can handle myself now"
Nope" The word was definite. You
stay at the farm and get fixed up.
amt anyone's trained nurse
The young man flushed.
GO to the devil he said stlffly.
I'll sit in another car. The point is
I want to get to Boston tonight"
Nothing doing, SO shut up. I'll leave
you where you'll get help. That's all
I'll do. Savvy?"
You swine!" The younger man
protested.
And I want you off my hands.
You'll go where I take you so shut
up"
CONTINUED Next Week.
Browning chief. [volume] (Browning, Mont.) 1941-1953, 1942-09-18
TAX COLLECTIONS DOWN

Automobile and tire rationlng, Slow
driving campaigns and other efforts
to reduce tire wear and gasoline con-
sumption resulted in a Is percent re-
duction in gasoline tax collections in
the states which have reported June,
1912, collections as compared with the
same month year ago to the fed
Grafton of tax administrators.
Browning chief. [volume] (Browning, Mont.) 1941-1953, 1942-09-18
SLIGHT RERUKE

Lady: I think I'll take one of those
large Holsters.
Clerk: Very, well. Shall wrap it for
you?
Lady: Yes, it doesn't know me well
enough to follow me home.-Exchange
Browning chief. [volume] (Browning, Mont.) 1941-1953, 1942-09-18

Pressed wood hardboards are being
used for United States army trailer
eXteriorS, tank interiors, arsenal shell
holders, refrigerator boxes and even
bowling balls.
Browning chief. [volume] (Browning, Mont.) 1941-1953, 1942-09-18
will James, Cowboy Painter,
Author Dies i'm California

al: Lone Cowboy" Book of the Month
club selection in 1890; Scorpion"
Sand" Home Ranch" besides many
others. He also contributed short
stories and articles to leading peri
odicals since 1926.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1942-01-19
Miss Keller WEEDS
Mr.. Koppinger

Event of Saturday morning at
SIS o'clock mass at st. Patrick's
church was the marriage of Miss
Magdalene Keller Of this city,
formerly of Mott, No. Dakota, to
Mr.. Joseph Koppinger of Tacoma,
formerly Of New England. No.
Dakota. The bride is the daughter
OF Mrs. Furmina Keller of Mott,
No. Dakota, and the bridegroom
il the son of Mr.. and Mrs. William
Koppinger of New England, No.
Dakota. Monsignor w. J. Noonan
performed the ceremony.
For her marriage. the bride
selected dusty blue dress with
which she wore black spring
hat and black accessories. Her
flowers were a corsage of gar
denias. pink rosebuds and bou-
vardia.
Mrs. Thomas Walsh was the
brides only attendant and Mr..
Theodore Gaffney served Mrs.
Koppinger as best man. Mrs.
Walsh wore navy blue dress and
matching hat. Her accessories
were black and her corsage Of
yellow rosebuds and bouvardia.
Following the ceremony. q
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1942-01-19
Miss Asplund Becomes
Mrs. Robert Johnston

On the afternoon of Jan. l. Miss
Marie Pauline Asplund. daughter
of Mr.. and Mrs. Nels Asplund Of
Eatonville. and Mr.. Robert r.
Johnston of Tacoma. son Of Mr..
and Mrs. Guy r. Johnston. re-
peated their wedding vows in
Trinity Lutheran church. The
Rev. II. n. syinth officiated.
Given in marriage by her
father. the bride wore 8 white
satin wedding dress with a long
veil which was fastened to her
hair with baby orchids. She car
RED an orchid with white bou-
vsrdia in her bouquet.
Miss Doris Simmons. wearing
pink taffeta with a bouquet Of
yellow roses. was the maid Of
honor and the bridesmaids were
Mrs. John Thirtyacre and Mrs.
Fred Y. Bown, sister OF the bride.
who wore identical dresses OF blue
tsffeta. They carried pink car
nations. Little Roberta Taylor
was the flower girl and wore a
blue tsffets dress
Mr.. Richard Johnston WAS his
brothers best man and the ushsrs
were Mr.. Allen Mslette. Mr.. John
Thirtyacre, Mr.. Robert Foster and
Mr.. Howard Helmick.
Before the ceremony candles
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1942-01-19
To Welcome
Member
Mrs. j. l. Knight 10 Return
10 Monday Civic Club

One of the pleasures in
store for members of the Mon
day Civic club on Monday az
ternoon will be the welcoming
10 Mrs. L. J. Knight who is
returning to club activities
after spending the early part
of the winter in Portland
where she has been conva-
lescing.
The meeting will be held
at the home of Mrs. Percy
Creath Smith at 2 O'Clock.
Assisting hostesses will be Mrs.
f. n. Hendrickson. Mrs. Edward
Coleman and Mrs. F. f. Harmon.
During the social hour. Mrs.
Knight and Mrs. Cora Imhoff will
preside at the tea table where cot
ton bolls from Texas will form
the centerpiece.
Miss Beatrice Meddins will d.
rect the study hour and will in
troduce Mrs. w. L. Tucker, who
viii review China Shall Rise
Again" by Nine. Chang Kai-shek.
Mrs. N. B. McNichol, giving q
paper on Early Religions, Mrs.
John Williams. deferred paper
on Chinese students and Mrs. B.
T. Bryan. who has been assigned
to current events.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1942-01-19
St. Cecilia Announces
First Rehearsal

The st. Cecilia board met Tues
day evening at the home of MIS-.
r. C. searle. 1901 So. Pine. The
first rehearsal for the spring sea
son was announced for Monday.
Jan. 10. in Unity temple. Plans
for the musicale and spring con-
cert were discussed.
Board members present at the
meeting were Mrs. James V. Rams
dell. president; Mrs. L. l.. Lamb,
first vice president: Miss Emmy
Swanson. second vice president:
Mrs. Robert c. Wilson. recording
secretary; Mrs. Harold Billie. cor
responding secretary; Mrs. Gray
Reagan. treasurer; Miss Louise
Receconi. librarian; Mrs. r. G.
Searle, chairman of junior board;
Mrs. Glen War and Mrs. C. T.
Larson. members at large.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1942-01-19
Couple Complimenied
Al Reception

A wedding reception was held
Ian. 8 at the Veterans hall honor
Ing Mr.. and Mrs. H. X. Ander-
con EVA Tocchinil. Assisting at
the reception were Mrs. T. NJ
Tocchini and the Misses Anita
Levi. Ethel Turiis and Lillian
Anderson.
The evening was spent In dane
ing. A late supper was served
ana later. the bride received .
shower Of gifts for her new home
Guests were Messrs. and Mes
danes A. w. Lenxi. Frank Susan.
A. Federichi. B. Pagni- J. Step
neck. Z. C. Seifert. p. Meucarelli.
D. Rinna. Edward Wiedman. 1. +.
Fontana. n. Grazzini. o. Gaveria.
C. cecchi, ]. scinto. H. Benedict,
c. Benedetti. r. Barker. !. n Mar
ducci. N. Palamidissi, Bruno
Domenicini. 7. A. centoni. o. Ben
nett L l. Cuizzetti. Quito Simon,
Outline Simon. Pete Tel William
Crooks, ". Georeetti.
Mesdames ordia vargo. Lea
ualott. Hazel Browning. Fannie
Menconi. Adele Nomellni. Lima
Devita. Amalia Lenzi and the
Misses Anita Lenzi. Ethel Turiis,
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1942-01-19
Miss Blundell
Is January Bride

The evening of Jan. was chosen
by Miss Jean Blundell, daughter Of
Mr.. and Mrs. William Blundell. for
her marriage to Mr.. Alvin Lind
strom in Pentecostal tabernacle.
The Rev. Harry Steil officiated in
a candlelighted setting of white
chrysanthemums and palms.
Music before the wedding in
cluded songs by Miss Betty Fields,
accompanied by Mr.. Theodore
Dickson.
The bride wore a wedding dress
of lace and tulle with sweetheart
neckline and a finger-tip length
veil Of tulle, held in place by a
pearl coronet. She carried orchids
on a white Bible.
The matron OF honor. Mrs. James
Kelly Lorraine Merchant), wore
blue printed marquisette and the
bridesmaids. Misses Eva and Verna
Peterson, were in similar dusty
pink dresses. All had colonial
bouquets.
Mr.. Clifford Lindstrom, brother
Of the bridegroom. was best man,
and ushers were Mr.. Palmer Hagen
and Mr.. Lester Breiwick.
Two hundred guests were re-
oeived in the Masonic temple roof
garden after the ceremony. Mrs.
Blundell received in gown Of
cloudy aqua with eorsage Of
talisman roses and bouvardia.
Miss Eurma Miller cut the
brides cake and pouring were
Misses Astrid and Sigrid Hammer
strom. Assisting were Misses Eve
lyn Anderson, Evelyn Breiwick.
Gladys mpson, Mrs. Ruby
Prindle. Mrs. Joseph swanstrom,
Miss Violet Blundell and Miss
Donna Mae Lindstrom.
Mr.. and Mrs. Lindstrom went
to Eugene, Ore, on their wedding
trip and are now at home in
Tacoma. The bride wore a brown
dressmaker suit with gold and
green accessories and a corsage of
orchids.
Miss Violet Blundell and Miss
Charlotte Christofferson, sister of
the bride, lighted the candles.
Little Donna Marie Cooney was the
flower girl.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1942-01-19

were lighted by Miss Marion Lee
and Miss Norma Sstterlee who
wore pink and blue gowns
Mrs. Dahl was the organist and
accompanied Mr.. Elmo Samuel
son when he sang two numbers.
The brides mother wore a law
endar crepe dress. and Mrs.
Johnston was in pink satin. both
wearing gardenias. They received
at the reception which followed
in the church parlors.
Cousins OF the BRIDE. Mrs. Elmo
Samuelson and Mrs. A. Palmer
poured and those assisting were
Mrs. A. Lee, Mrs. A. Skinner and
Mrs NJ. Wutz.
When the couple left on their
short motor trip the bride was
wearing a green wool suit with
brown squirrel collar and match
ing accessories.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1942-01-19

accessories. Mr.. Zittel and his
bride have gone to Canada for q
week and when they return will
be at home at LOG Ea. 2eth.
Mrs. zittel is Lincoln high
school graduate and attended the
College of Puget Sound where she
affiliated with Kappa Sigma Theta.
Her husband attended Fife high
school and the College of Puget
Sound. He Is a member of Delta
Kappa Phi fraternity and the Elks
lodge.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1942-01-19
Vows Exchanged Saturday
In Holy Rosary Church
Miss Ann Margaret Strobel Becomes Bride Of Mr. Ztte
In Pretty Morning Ceremony; Reception at Home

Nuptal Saturday morning in Our Lady of Holy
Rosary church. followed the marriage at half after ii o'clock
of Miss Ann Margaret Strobe and Mr.. Charles Bruner
Zitte The exchanged before the Rev. Anthony
Hack in a setting of white flowers
The bride daughter of Mrs. Benjamin Stewart Strobe
given marriage by her oldest brother Mr. Keene s.
Strobe. She handsome wedding gown of satin
damask with small train and seed pearl coronet from
which her long fmy veil arranged She carried pear
white gardenas centered by delicate lavender orchid
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1942-01-19
Busy Weekend Planned
For Miss Haley, Fiance
Shower on Saturday, Breakfast and Dinner Dancing
On Sunday Are Posi-Nuptel Hiehfehis

Particularly busy this weekend will be of Tacomas
most popular brdeeecs Miss Nancy Haley and her fance
Mr. Donald H. Brandes On Saturday afternoon Mrs Harold
Weaver of Seattle is entertaining luncheon and pottery
shower for Miss Haley and Sunday there parties
honoring the couple
At IL o'clock Miss Veneta Rowland is entertaining at
breakfast at her home and in the evening Mr. and Mrs
T. w. Carroll of Day Island will be hosts to group for
dinner dancing the Olympic Georgian in Seattle
with Miss Haley and Mr.. Brandes guests of honor.
Rowands guests will be vert Miss Eleanor Johns Miss
to Catherine Johns Sally
Schneider Miss Mary
Robert Hanlon,
Mr.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1942-01-19

organ music lor the WtuulIS
was played by Miss Ann Bezich.
Mrs. Robert Booth was the
brides honor attendant and wore
American beauty tsffeta with
bouquet Of pink and rose tulips.
Her bridesmaids. Mrs. Robert b.
strobel. her sister-in-law. and Mrs.
c. Elmo samuelson both wore
turquoise chiffon over tsffets with
pink tulips as their flowers.
Mr.. zittel. who is the son of
Mr.. Nicholas zittel Of Fife, was
attended by his brother. Mr.. Mich
olas zittel, and. the ushers were
Mr.. Gerald M. Turner. Mr.. Will
lam Sherman. and Mr.. Charles L.
Thomas.
The wedding guests called at
the Strobel home after the cere-
mony and were received by Mrs.
Strobel and the bridegroom's sister.
Miss Catherine zittel. the former
wearing orchid chiffon with gar
denias and the latter in blue with
q similar corsage.
White flowers were used
throughout the home and on the
collation. table with silver accents.
Mrs. Robert A. Huey, Mrs.
James H. Lyle and Mrs. Travers
Dryer poured and among those
assisting were Miss Martha Buck
ley. Miss Lois Weller. Miss Jane
Ramsby. Mrs. Benjamin S. strobel.
Mrs. Donald Monk. Mrs. J. A..
Erickson. Mrs. Gilbert Richards.
Mrs. Edward Bare. Mrs. Robert
Boyker and Mrs. Bernard J.
Reeder.
For travelling the bride donned
blue grey dress and hat with 9
Russian pony coat and nutshell
Yolands Rinna. Eva Nomellini.
Jenny Menconi. Betty Domenicini.
Irene Lucca. Adeline Gordon. Ar
lene Butterfield. vernita Butter
field. Jeanette Lenzi, Lola Lenzi.
Celia Lepzi. Rose Wanner and Eva
Lupni Of Aberdeen.
Others were Messrs. Arnold
Lenzi. Gene Rinns. Fred Grzzzini.
Victor Colombini. LOWE Meneoni.
LOWE Tocchini. Tello Psgni. Dom
Johnston. Albert sciaqus. Richard
Palamidessi. Grfno Bonzguidi.
John Coccisguido and Amerigo
Centoni.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1942-01-19
Women's Group TO
Meet Candidates

Members OF the United Women's
Republican club will begin their
scrutiny of candidates for city Of
flee in the coming election, when
they meet for the regular luncheon
meeting Monday noon, at the
Model Grill. A limited number of
candidates have been invited to ap-
pear before the group. Luncheon
VIII be served at 12:15. according
TO Mrs. Ivan Wray. president of
the club.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1942-01-19
Busy Days
On Calendar.

vi Aol0uQdl
lsdd Gu;Id 70 Have
Luncheon IN Nelson Hal
Activities of the women of
the First Presbyterian church
Tor the coming week begin
with the 1890 luncheon, in
Nelson hall, for the members
Of Caroline A. Ladd guild, for
which Mrs E. w. Squires and
Miss Grace Barrett are host
okseS.
Following the business session.
IN Middleton parlor. the Bible and
nizsion study viii be led by Mrs.
J. II. Kitlar and Mrs.. r. o. Rob-
erts. On Tuesday many Of the
First church women win attend the
.Presbyteriai meeting 10 open at
10 .. m IN the Little Church on
the Prairie. Luncheon viii be
served 1t Lakewood Terrace at
11:iS. epeskers for the afternoon
VII b Mr.. Harold H. Henderson.
= missionsry recently returned
from Chosen. and DR.. James MI
lar. the executive secretary Of the
Board Of Christian Education.
1hey VIII also JOIN with the Pres-
eytery for . communion service at
40 o'clock-
On wednesday Circle B meets
With Nrs. J. H. Gordon. r.. 1908
No. J -. at 1:So. Mr.. c. Davis
Weyerhaeuser and Ars. Kenneth
Anderuon are study leaders
Alao On Wednesday for 1870
lunchsons the following groups are
meeting: Circle = with Mrs.. r. n.
Curry. 6l07 90. Pine IT.. with Mn.
\. H. samuelson assisting and Ma
o. r. Lagasse and Mrs.. Otto Roe
der leading the study; Circle u
with Mrs w. r. Larson. ll2o NO.
Cedar. with Mrs. Raymond foweii
assisting, and Mms mary winner
al leading the Bible study; circle
n. with Mrs.. A. 7. Stevens, soli
30. Tacoma ave. with Ars' n. V
johnson assisting. The Bible STUDY
win Be led BY Mrs. Karl staax ana
Nrs. Frederick Beeoe WI give tne
misson lesson
Also ON "Wednesday are Circles
J. X, L and N. Circle } win hrs-
o. I. skaer, 220s No. Puget SOUND.
assisted by Mrs. Leo Frank, ana
Misses Marian Mason ana nary
Barrett ~ study leaders, Circle n.
with Mrs.. J. J. Meliinger. zii
Borough Road. with Mrs. Dav'o
oasfier and Ars- George Duni.p
leading the study; Circle l. win
. pot luck iuncneon IN Ne'son a
and Mrs. 8. L. Church and Mis-
Mae Howard - study leaders, sno
Circle ~. with q dessert iuncneon
IN the home Of Ms. c. A. jacob
son. 11o1 No. Lawrence. Also Tor
12:5o luncheons on the same osy
are Circle N. with Ms. K n. HOP
i<ins IT Fife. with Ars. Il. l. L'ood
and Nrs. Wesley Moore a. oevo-
ticnai and mission study iesoen'
Circle o. with Mrs. L. n. Hayden
2oO7 No. 10th. with Mrs. n
Wetherby assisting ana Mrs. n
Darrell Jones and Mrs. n. A. VIZ
Ger ~ study leaders. and Circle l.
at the home Of Mrs. Lucy smith
$40 30. s7th IT.. with Mrs. Cnss'
Heude Bourck assisting.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1942-01-19

small wedding breakfast was
given at the home of Mr.. and Mrs.
Theodore Gaffney. Following a
short wedding trip. Mr.. and Mrs.
Koppinger will establish their
home at Saith and So. Tacoma
way.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1942-01-19
Congratulations

Mr.. and Mrs. Warren limerick
Margaret McCash) are receiving
congratulations on the birth Of
son. Brian Herbert. at Tacoma
General hospital January 2.
Evening star., 1942-11-08

They grow out of nothing, they swing aim
lessly back and forth, and they give the
wearer a grotesque and unfinished appear
ance Even the ugly baboon, supposedly sew
Evening star., 1942-11-08
oroucno
MARX :,
7vRMS \

4'M ALWAYS reading enthusiastic articles
describing the new automobiles that will
I appear after the war. It is predicted they
will have engines IN the rear, seats made out
Of soy beans. plastic bodies and steering
wheels made out of French pastry, in case
you get hungry on long trip.
Why doesn't someone manufacture new
man? II there ever was oontraption that
needed improving, it's the human body. If
this current model i old Mother Natures
masterpiece. obviously the old girl is little
on the jeriy side and needs few years at
good engineering school.
Let u begin at the bottom and work our
way up. Here we find the feet. Feet are
utterly without beauty. Would any man
reading this piece go out with girl who re-
sembled his feet? Of course not. They are
usually gnarled and misshapcn from be-
Ing whacked against furniture and high
curbs and they require shoes, socks, arch
supports and adhesive tape.
IVVW, OVRIN>0C yO$u AC~S 6A~W AA OA~ oAA04SS
Of wheels? You'd really have something then.
You could roll around and see your friends.
you could roll to the vegetable market, and
in the evening when you came home from
work, your wife could tie suction bag around
your neck and use you for vacuum cleaner.
Now, friends, move up 18 inches and what
do we encounter? That's right - the knee.
No one has ever been able to figure out what
purpose the knee serves. It tolls not, neither
does it shin. CThis is known as literary pun,
and is always greeted with about five min
utes Of dead silence.) The knee is hardly
worth discussing. Functionally it's dis
grace. It is constantly getting out of Joint
and requires almost as much attention as a
secondhand lawn mower.
ous-s6-Dats
II IS true that in the olden days the knee
played an important part in love making.
Lovers used to slide off the parlor sofa and
plop down on one knee when declaring their
affection. The invention of the gasoline
motor. however. gradually changed all this.
The rumble seat of an automobile proved it.
SeII q HUGH luO3C CuC(IAVC OCSSAAA 0110s M q
few short years, the parlor sofa deteriorated
into useless and moth-eaten antique.
The stomach, or paunch, is a prominent
part of the human body, particularly if you
drink lot of beer. But am sure smart
designer could have rigged it up more effec-
lively. The stomach serves two purposes:
it holds your dinner and, what is much more
important, it is supposed to hold up your
trousers. Unfortunately, we have to breathe,
and whenever we inhale, the trousers drop
from two to four inches. This could easily
have been avoided had the hip bone been ex-
tended six inches on each side. Tho trousers
would then hang naturally, without the aid
of belt or alspender, and the rear end of
mans pants wouldn't sag as though it were
filled with rocks.
The less said about the arms, the better.
Evening star., 1942-11-08
The present human body is already obsolete" says
this dubious authority. Here he tells what the man
Of the future will look like, complete with built-in
s,spenders chromium trim and rotating hair crops
by Groucho Marx
by Groucho Marx

eral notches lower than man IN the social
scale, is better equipped. A full-grown bab-
cons arms are long enough to reach the
ground without STOPPING over and enable