The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1942-10-29

child's outburst and told me that
evening that mustn't ever think of
it again, and that he wouldn't either.
Smothering Kindness.
81 said then that I was going to
find house of my own, and for two
days I did house hunt. But we have
no furniture, no kitchenware or linen
or curtains, and it does look like
big job to start with nothing, and
also find some woman who will be
part cook and part nurse.
Bob hasn't referred to the mat
ter again. I am writing you to ask
whether you think I am justified in
trying to break away from all this
smothering kindness and service
and try to stand on my own feet, as
mistress of my own homer"
Irene, my dear, my advice would
be that you abandon the idea of find
ing a real house, with curtains and
chairs and pots and pans in it, and
build instead the house of the mind
and soul, and live in that for awhile.
We all have to do this, if we are
to grow up, spiritually and mentally.
Some women refuse, and 60 on to
years of loneliness and bewilder-
ment, wondering how and why they
have missed everything worth while.
But real women turn their trials
into lessons, into tests of strength
and endurance, and finally into
blessings.
Must Free Difficulties.
Whether it is poverty, disappoint-
ment, physical disability or-as in
your case-the inf1exible necessity of
living with those who are not con-
genial, who impose upon US and
cripple us, we must accept some
thing difficult along with our daily
bread. Ifit is not husbands faults
and limitations, it becomes the in
finitely worse conditions that follow
divorce. If it isn't an over-officious
mother-in-law, it's an idle, useless
one who never picks up her ciga-
rette ends or remembers telephone
messages. Or if it isn't either it's
very apt to be the third sort, who
pays no attention to her. daughter
in-law but expects dear Robbie to
listen to her complaints every day.
Most women have money shortage
as a worry. Most husbands have
the mismanagement or extrava-
gance of wives to think about as
they walk to the office. Thousands
of mothers today have deeper
agonies of spirit to face-the help
less longing that comes when the
boys are far away and in danger.
This woman knows that deafness is
coming upon her; this other one
knows that in her middle-age she
has lost her husbands love and he
wants to be free. And many are
alone, living in boarding houses,
working hard for just enough shelter
and food to keep life within them,
wondering why they live at all.
An axiom very popular with young
doctors is: "Live with your dis
ease" Failing eyesight, missing
teeth, certain chronic nerve and
heart and kidney affections for
which we have no cures, simply
must be faced and borne.
Your trouble isn't very grav,
You're young; you have years in
which to right the conditions in
which youth and temporary illness
have trapped you. Plan definitely
to be more with your children; teach
little Robert to read, and always
feed the baby his dinner. School
yourself to be appreciative, respon-
sive, helpful to the despotic old
matriarch. Your day is dawning;
hers must wane.
It is a charming thing to hear a
middle-aged matron say, as one does
too rarely, 81 loved Bob's mother.
We were real friends"