Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1942-08-21

Until the Toxic liars got into
action the title of being the best
all-around, pentathlon, decathlon
falsifier was shared by Joseph
GoebbeiS and Virginia Gayda.
the mouthpieces OF Hitler and
Mussolni.
DUT they were shown up AS
~ ar h-consevatives. m n
who weighed every fact and fig
ure before opening their mouths,
by the japanese propagandists.
Where Goebbels and Gayda are
content TO claim single battle
ship, two cruisers and a de-
stroyer, the japanese sit down
10 their typewTiters and annihi-
late eatire fleets.
Nothing that flies through the
air or sails on the seas is as
deadly as those typewriters in
the japanese war and navy Of
fices. Without bothering TO shift
into capital letters they can fire
Salvo of communiques guaran-
teed 10 sweep the seas clear of
any and all enemy vessels.
TT WOULD be interesting to
hide behind the kimono stand
in the Japanese war office and
listen 10 the boys as they 90
about their work in the morning.
You probably would hear some
thing like this:
Chief of Bureau: Men. we
claimed only SO vessels yester-
day What IS the matter?
Chief Clerk: So sorry sir, but
the mimeograph machine got
stuck just when we were getting
ready TO sink an airplane car
rier, two transports and three
cruisers.
Second Clerk: II won't happen
again. sir.
Chief; See that it doesn't hap
pen again. Also I'd like 10. find
out who around here is re-
sponsible for putting out the in
formation that one Of our boats
was slightly damaged. Remem-
Der, get this straight Nothing
bad ever happens to one of our
boats.
Third Clerk: What American
boats shall we sink today. sir?
Chief: Figure that out for
yourself l suggest that each
man take a copy of James Fight
ing Ships and pick out two or
three boats with names that
strike his fancy and sink them.
Another Clerk: We have done
that already, sir and there are
no more boats left. We have
sunk them all.
Chief: Oh, no We haven't.
What about the rowboats in
Central Park in New York.
They are still intact, aren't
they? And what about those
property boats in Hollywood
Let them have salvo.
II THE japanese people believe
these communiques they must
marvel at the tenacity and
courage Of the American fight,
inc men With no boats left.
they still managed 10 beat the
daylights out Of the Jauanese
fleet in the Coral Sea and at
Midway With nothing left but
lile-preservers they managed 10
storm the Solomon Islands.
Without benefit Of battleships.
cruisers. destroyers, carriers or
transports. they still found a
way 10 carry the battle TO the
enemy on the AleutianS. In
loss The Japanese propagandists
case up a bit on their success
stories, the japanese public is
likely to become convinced that
its army and navy is up against
a super race, and become dis
heartened.
The honesty OF the United Ma
tons military cOmmunique offer
sound proof of the difference
in the mcttlc and temper of the
nations fighting this war. The
Axis nations. despite the fact
that the advantage has rested
with them since they started,
still don't dare 10 tell the truth
about even the smallest setback.
The United Nations, whose
people have had almost nothing
but straight rights 10 the Jaw,
still demand the truth.
They know they won't buckle.
and so do their leaders.
Distributed hy McNaught syndicate Inc