Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1942-09-12
Worst Cold
Treated Well
By Mel
FIourishes Under Touch
He Gives II
BY HENRY McLEMORE

BY HENRY McLEMORE
BECAUSE of the shortage OF
~ doctors we are treating our
own cold.
Don't feel sorry for our cold,
either, for Judging by its prog
ress in the past few days no cold
ever received better treatment.
II is f1ourishing under our
touch. What began as just a
sniffle has now attained the
stature of 10-goal ailment. and
friends are congratulating us on
having the worst cold since the
Blizzard of 'SS.
Before we 60 any further we
would like to ask you if you have
ever written on typewriter
while stretched out in bed?
Try ii some time, then. just as
we are trying il now. /.
The human chest and stomach
were never designed for use as
typewriter table. The only way
the typewriter will remain stable
is for the typer 10 stretch fiat
out on his back and place the
machine squarely on his chest.
This position has the disad-
vantage. however, OF completely
obscuring the keys. We tried
writing blind, but gave il up,
knowing that if we did send out
the copy thus written we would
be arrested as spy for using
code.
WE HAVE tried placing the
w typewriter on the mattress,
and from prone stance, hitting
the keys.
This produces an eerie result.
Pressure on a key shoves the
typewriter into the mattress and
il rebounds like a rubber ball,
with the seeming intention of
smacking the typist in the face
WIFI us p, On anu % SyIIiDOlS.
Too. if you write fast the type
writer seems to be constantly
in the air. forcing the writer TO
write on the wing.
This is sporting. to be sure,
but you get little done. A fast
flying typewriter is harder to hit
than a grouse.
At the moment, we have the
typewriter on the floor and are
leaning over and hitting it.
This works all right for mo-
ment or two until all your blood
rushes to your head and your
arms and feet 60 numb.
In a second we will have to get
up and chafe our legs to prevent
a first cousin of rigor morris
from setting in.
THIS, of course, is not good for
cold. Even the Spartan
physicians never recommended
jumping around in the middle of
the floor as a cure for cold.
The moment we got this cold,
and decided against calling in
our Harley Street physician. we
turned to that old saying, Stuff
a fever and" Wait minute.
Just how does that go? "Starve
fever and stuff a cold" We
finally decided that it was Stuff
a cold, so we started stuffing.
Detachable viands from the
Busy Bee delicatessen were al
ways on our bed table. Salami,
sardines. ,cheeses of all sorts,
potato salad.
We undoubtedly would have
stuffed the cold right out of us
had not fever set in. That really
put us in a predicament. We
had fever and cold at the same
time. If we stuffed the fever,
how could we starve the cold?
WE CAME within an ace of
w calling our old family vet
and asking him the answer. but
decided to work il out alone.
This is how we are doing il.
We stuff an hour to fight the
cold. and starve an hour 10 COM
bat the fever.
Here is something about not
feeling good that we wish some
one would put us straight on:
Which is better, to be a silent
sufferer or complaining pa
tient?
The person who shares our
home with us says that we are
of the latter type. Well admit
that, but past experience has
taught us that those who suffer
without complaining get very
little attention.
How are those around a man
10 know that he needs extra care
and hand-and-foot waiting on
unless he gives voice 10 his
Misery
III a man just sits and takes
his ailments without murInur,
he is likely TO be imposed upon.
and be unable 10 get out of the
little household tasks that annoy
him.
II seems 10 me man should
let those about him know that
he isn't-weii and needs extra
special care.
Why. right now. the way /
feel--oh,!
Distributed ny McNsught Syndicate, Inc.
The $50 people of Block Island.
II miles off the Rhode Island