Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1942-08-03
LET'S Laugh:
Binoculars
Off TO War,
Mill on Way
McLemotes Typewriter
Brings Memories
BY HENRY McLEMORE


MY BINOCULARS have gone
~ TO the war, loan TO the
navy for the duration.
Now il looks as if my type
writer will soon be off 10 the
front.
1t is average. heaven knows,
and has al least one dependent.
but the war department is clam
oring for typewriters. and who
knows but what | would do bet
ter with a goose quill pen.
When l shipped off the binoc-
ulars it brought back a flood of
memories, and when the type
writer goes there'll be another
flood Of memories of days and
nights all over the world.
No one has ever been able 10
say exactly how old my type
writer is.
Saving off a leg and counting
its rings Is out of the question
because il has had but one leg
since that night when a groggy
Max Baer stepped on il AS he
was leaving the ring after a
beating by Louis.
TIiE oil baby has been with
l. me through many a fine mo-
ment. including the top one 1
guess HI ever have. That was
in Berlin, the afternoon a big
German named Long, i believe,
tied Jesse Owen in the Olympic
broad jump.
A NaZi crowd of l11.000 went
berserk when their countryman
equaled the leap OF the leader
of what Goebbel's paper had
termed the American Black
Expeditionary Force"
When the time for the Jump
off came, Owen could not get
the crowd TO give him quiet.
Time and again he pleaded with
gestures as he stood at the top
of the runway. for silence, but
the NaZis wouldn't quit their
bowling.
So, finally. with a shrug of his
shoulders, as If TO say "Oh. all
right. the hell with you" Owen
crouched for his start. I remem-
Der turning to Ed Beattie. later
10 become one of the greatest
war correspondents, and saying:
Ed. that owen Is gonna jump
clear over the pits"
He damn near did He came
through with such mighty
leap that when he was in mid-air
il was obvious that he was sail
ing 10 worlds record. And the
Germans hushed up. He landed
IN the silence for which he had
asked. And even Hitler stood
up IN tribute when Owen walked
away from the pit
THE Of typewriter was with
l. me that blistering day on
the banks OF Lake Carnegie in
Princeton when ! was covering
the finals Of a big crew race.
and my bride of a few months
gave stirring exhibition of
why wives are not allowed in
press boxes.
As ! wrote a running race Of
the story Western Union
operator leaned over my shout
der and sent my words as fast
as | wrote them.
Twice, out OF the corner Of
my eye. / saw my wife standing
in the aisle near me. grimacing
horribly as If in excruciating
pain. Finally. just before the
boats reached the finish line, her
apparent suffering drove me 70
abandon my work and rush TO
her side.
whats the matter, Honey ."
asked with the alarm that only
the husband of few weeks can
muster. Have you appendi-
citis? Are YOU dying ."
There's nothing the matter
with me-" she said, "but / had to
attract your attention. That
horrible man sitting beside you
Is copying everything you write.
Make him do his own work. II
isn't fair to you and IL isn't
fair to him. He's a cheat, that's
what he is"
She referred 10 my Western
Union operator, who was doing
a magnificent job of getting my
stuff TO the office as fast as 1
could write il. l missed the
finish of the race and had
heluva time explaining 10 the
office why / was late with the
flash. She hasn't poked her nose
in press box since.
TEiE Of typewriter was with
me the day the office called
me at a restaurant and asked
me how long II would take me
TO get TO Newark and get aboard
a planes
There was a big story in New
London. 1 was told. l got TO
Newark in nothing fiat. took off
in ship, all set for a short run
from New York 10 Connecticut.
After three hours in the air l
began 10 believe the pilot was
lost. So l went forward and
told him so.
Its a hop, skip and jump
Ia New London from New
York" [ said