davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1942-10-03
60 Slow as SIeufh
for Uncle Sam!

various benefits and sell them
al outlandish prices?
My readers would like to
know, l explained to my mouth
piece.
nor a man who had been
Il chasing ambulances four or
five hours he made right good
sense. He cautioned me to be
cautious.
Don't just run out and arrest
the first man you see driving at
36 miles an hour" he said, "be-
cause, brother, IL he Il not con-
victed, he can sue you until the
cows come home"
explained TO my barrister
that l did not understand the
legal phrase, until the cows
come home"
That's Blackstone for for
ever" he said.
This phase OF the federal law
was a disappointment TO me.
had planned TO settle lot OF old
personal scores.
IL had been my intention to
set aside two days a week for
the sole purpose OF arresting
people l didn't like. dreamed
at night of waving down various
Objectionable characters and ex-
posing them 10 the $4,000 fine,
the two years in Jail. or both.
That's what II is possible for
speedsters to get from now on.
WHAT satisfaction il would be,
w / thought, to sock the first
editor l ever had. He fired me
for only one measly reason--in-
competence.
Then there was Deacon Pit
man of my fathers church. The
deacon took ii upon himself 10
tell my father that l was seen in
the near vicinity Of the dog
track on prayer meeting night.
1t was "good-by dogs. hello
prayer meeting" from then on,
l could add others to this list,
but / am going TO be pretty care
full with my arrests. There is
an excellent chance that am on
a few hundred lists myself and
that more than one newly or
dained snoop is waiting for me.
Thank goodness my car is in
storage. With the fine at S10.-
600 L am going TO be careful
how fast / walk. If l did have a
car l would be busy fixing IL so
that II couldn't possibly 60 more
than 35 miles an hour.
To start with. Id drive on
three wheels. The right rear
would come off Immediately. I'd
mix water with my gasoline and
dab the spark plugs with mayon-
naise.
Can you imagine the horror of
being hauled into traffic court
and hearing the judge say:
Then thousand dollars and
costs"
Why, that's more than we get
a word for this column.
Distributed by MeNaught Syndicate, Inc
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1942-10-03
The On|ooker

TN NOT the best columnist in
L the country by as far as from
here 10 Saturn with a stopover
at Havre de Grace for the NTH
race). but few columnists give
their readers as much free Serv-
ice as I.
For example. take this new
federal speed law OF IS miles
per hour. II was news 10 me,
and perhaps news TO you. that
my citizen can arrest any other
citizen found violating a federal
law. So. from now on. all OF
us are actually government
speed cops.
This new law was no more
than enacted than I was of 10
see my lawyer TO get the low
down on just where the citizen
stood in his new role as COM
bination taxpayer and sleuth,
and contracting my lawyer is no
small feat.
He is a very, very busy man.
As head of the most distin-
guished firm OF ambulance chas-
ers in New York, he Is hard to
catch up with.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1942-10-03

10 Beans" and did some
whistling himself.
He whistled at Umpire ReGr-
don. Smoke Gets in Your
Eyes"
Bunny Waters. Statuesque
lady of the ensemble. Miss
Waters is paid SIPS a week and
is said 10 be Broadway's highest
salaried show girl.
Rabbit Meanwhile. At age
of 81 the RABBIT" is still play
ing baseball and getting paid for
it. He performs with semi-pro
team in Rochester, n. Y
Mr.. Meanwhile says he be-
lieves he owes much of his con-
tinued good health 10 the fact
that he always sleeps face
dow ward with his arms
stretched out.
YOU can't Judge a woman's
l. character by the fact that she
is a natural blond or brunei. But
if a brunei changes her hair to
blond, or a blonde TO brunei that
gives you an inkling as to her
character.
A woman who keeps changing
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1942-10-03

arrow" blunder-has been Off
cially forgiven.
NEW WORKERS You Never
~ See From a Sightseeing
Bus: The character called I'm
Gle Sam" About so.
Attired in red. white and blue
trousers, coat and high-hat
STUDDED with stars. Doesn't ad-
vertise or sell anything.
Just patriotic"
Pearl. the hostess at the Can
ton Village. a chop-suey joynt on
49th Street. Can argue litera-
ture with Carl Van Vechten or
anybody.
Fritz. the veteran ticket taker
az the Shubert Theater. He adj
vises producer Lee Shubert on
play scripts.
NEW KCHIDS: Phil
~ Bakers artistry on his quiz
show.
Perlita Greco's thruShing at
the Rainbow Room.
Sylvia Froos zingy routines at
La Martinique.
c. Bulotti JTs Spotlight
Band" direction.
Ida Lupino in Warmers finn,
The Hard Way,
Twentieth's "Springtime in
the Rockies" musical.
The improved girl-show at
Versailles.
1t. McClelland Barclays new
navy posters. The Jsps look like
Japs-not cartoons!
COUNDS in the Night: In the
- Blue Room:
when he was drafted II was
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1942-10-03
Foot Suit
She Calls Id

the color OF her hair Is likely
10 want 10 change husbands,
keep moving the furniture in her
house about and In her late
fortics may become a depressing
companion as she will always be
worrying about getting old.
GENERAL bachelors recently
~ stated they had received
number of proposals of marriage
from young women.
Feminine subscribers were In
clined TO discount these claims.
However, IL would seem
that young women proposing
marriage IS not recent de-
velopment. In 1883 in his Con
LESSONS OF a Young Man."
George Moore wrote;
ITO represent In a novel q girl
proposing marriage to q young
man would be deemed un-
natural. But nothing Is more
common. There are few young
men who have not received at
least a dozen offers. Some
young men have received many
more"
ST go men do not like work
IL but viii work IL they have
to-" is what a star gaZer says.
The old boy may be right. I
am a Leo. I hate work.
Yet have worked pretty hard
all my life. Even as a kid l had
a horror of work but would take
any kind Of a job rather than
to have to ask anybody for
money.
The Nazi Major General Crue-
well often was referred to as
"Rommefs Brain. The refer
ence may have been an apt one.
Since Cruewell has been cap
tured by the British, Rommel
hasn't been doing so well.
Racehorse trainers usually live
to a very ripe old age. A hum
dred are more contemporary ex-
amples of this could be named.
On the other hand men who
follow the races to bet on horses
are generally short-lived. Even
so successful a horse player as
george <. Pittsburgh Phil
Smith died comparatively
young man.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1942-10-03
New York
Heartbeat

a case OF Local Board Makes
Good"
At the Stork Bar:
az like him. He's one of those
rich kids who doesn't act rs
though he made II himself"
At La Vie Parisienne:
"Why does she wear q veil In
stead Of n mask"
At Armsndo's:
"who let the pill out OF his
bottle 2"
At Ruban Bleu:
ITS one OF those improbable
things-like Tuliulah with stage
fright"
At Reubens:
"Why don't you look In mir
ror and disiilusion YOURSELF"
In Club IS:
Louis and Conn, the hardest
punchers around, wind up get
ting kayoed by stimson--a non
prof.
Al the Latin Quarter:
THE scrap drive would be
over In a day-if B'wayites con-
tributed the pan they're always
putting somebody on"
MIDTOWN Ticket-Tape:
-Vt Mickey Moore. a chorus boy.
was spurned by all cinema
scouts. He went 10 H'wood him
self on spec, quitting Let's Face
It."
Two days after hitting movie
town he was picked for the lead
in the George Abbott picture at
$3.50 a week!
Morton Downey's premiere at
the Savoy-Plaza Lounge was a
sell-out.
Abe Lyman goes into uniform
on the l4th.
The War Departments new
shortwave show for soldiers
abroad is called Your Broad
way and Mine"
LaHiff's Tavern is now Duffys
Tavern. named for Bill Duffy,
not the popular radio show.
New MISUNDERSTANDING enough
copies Of Glen Gray's Don't Do
II, Darling" a fast click.
EDDIE NUGENT and Leila
p ~ Ernst are Chicagoing steady.
An ex-fght champ has been
shipped 10 the war zones for
smuggling his captain.
Hildegarde and society's Mrs.
Julianns Cutting no longer talk
TO each other.
It's safe TO tell a gag now in
Chicago where 80 mes were
drafted.
BROADWAY Criticism: He
~ never made an enemy be-
couse he never fought for a
friend"
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1942-10-03

6DEANS" REARDON. My
~ favorite major league
umpire. He Is the originator
of the idea of an umpire keep
ing on brushing the plate while
a player is protesting.
And while brushing the plate
Mr.. Reardon HUNS or whistles
a merry little tune. This is re-
ported to be most disconcerting
to protesting players.
1t is said TO be particularly
annoying 10 Manager Frank
Frisch OF Pittsburgh. However,
one time Frank stopped talking
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1942-10-03

Wouldst thou be lousd3
Then from thy present Trays
part not,
BE everything thou art,
BE nothing that thou art not.
Then through thy days Thy grote,
Thy simple Ways, thu more than
beauty,
WI be an endless theme OF
prufsc
And Iove, simple duty.
Poe.
THE present bite suit have
l. seems all right to me but my
Girl Friend says the coat is so
long il looks like a root suit. =
And when / wear this suit she
addresses me by such names
as "Jitterbug John" "Hepcat
Harry" 'Zooty Suit" and The
Patent Leather Kid"
Do you think that's nice?
THE reason your battery has
run down Is that you don't use
your car enough" is what the re-
pair men recently told us.
Well, that's not bad is il? I
mean not using your car much in
days Ike these.
Back in the twenties in Toxic,
a United States Army captain
met Japanese officer in the
ring. Arrangements called for
the American boxing and the
Jap using jujutsu for fight to a
finish.
The bout had hardly gone a
minute before the American
Army captain knocked the Jap
fiatter than a little. thin pan
cake. Immediately after that
the Japs started having boxing
taught in their army.
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1942-10-03

THE STAR SPAN G L z D.:
i Lovely Joan Fontaine in the
Cub, sitting Coast buzz OF a rift.
Her Brian Aherne 10 in Phoenix
going through the PAGES for his
last tests 10 instruct fiiers.
"He's first, last and always"
she emphasized.
James Farley's reaction to the
reports of q poll that Dewey will
romp In.
1--WE haven't started on him
YETI he beloved.
The Pat O'Briens. two of the
saner Hollywood reliables.
Bonnie Baker. the baby-talker
of the networks. The romance
with 1t. (jg) Orrin Tucker more
serious than ever.
Virginia Hills win of $500 at
the track and all midtown cafe
owners rubbing their paws with
anticipation. Biggest spender
In town.
Paul Small, who says things
are SO confused in Washington
that even the German spies don't
know what's going on.
AT KELLYS STABLE they
IA were discussing drama crit
les and Sonny Kendis mentioned
that Alexander Wooiicott had
dropped 100 pounds.
Really" sneered a Woollcott
victim. ION wbomf"
BROADWAY MELODRAMA:
- Several months ago when
Burgess Meredith was a private
In the army he was Inundated
by Colonel" in the Stork Club.
what kind Of . phony uni
form are you wearing: =" he
nkaunted. keeping Burgess stand
g
- Not long after the Colonel was
exposed as a phony himself.
The other day the judge sus-
pended sentence on this imposter
providing he went into the army
as a buck private.
You can imagine how anxious
the star must be TO meet that
guy again--now that Meredith
is a Lit!
MEMOS OF a Midnighter: Fed
AVA era! agents searched the
purses of Red Cross nurses aides
at the White House meeting.
Greer Garson's esort Is MGM
writer Edward Lawrence.
Gable probably will be End
1t. by Yuietide.
They are cunning for q doll (a
bruneD wearing an unauthorized
AVIS uniform. She pops up at
bond rallies. takes money for
bonds and disappears.
Mai. Lynn Farnol. who took
the rap publicly for that Mari
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1942-10-03

A Housewife
I'm Wartime
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1942-10-03
the Side
BY Il. v. DurlinS-

Distributed by KinE features syndicIt'. in'
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1942-10-03

arrow" blunder been Off
cially forgiven.
The Ypsilanti daily press. (Ypsilanti, Mich.) 1928-1962, 1942-05-27
Sports Roundup

chicago-rs-The Western Tournament will be
played this year and Country Club Spokane Wash
T. c. Butt president of the Western COLI
Association. The dates are from July to IL
Chago-NSwith padocked Wrigley Field home
today crowd that prom
the All receipts will 90 to the Army
Navy the bill with the Great
Lakes training Grant to in the opener
and Cincinnati Reds TO in their regularly ched
ed the nghtcap
seavew Country Club City J-TNSTwo corpora a
citizens without enna today went
golf championship
laid the line for the duration Of the One
field Vic Ghezz of Fort Monmouth the de
quaer The other Jim Purnesa
while budding smmn Samuel Jackson
snead
New york-INs-Though much betting action yet
Sugar avorite to make S2 straight wins
ring little Marty Servo Of She
ncady Madison Square Garden omor
night
is going to stop those
Yankees? baseball asking today the New
their assault against the poor
place Yankee Stadium Yictors is OF their
games following yesterdays assault and battery which
series with aso-e conquest OF the Boston
Red hard determine just when the Bombe would re-
lax take things
New Yok-INs-Johnny Campbell scratched
of field championships Thorough
Saturday learned today deprvng the
44O and leaving the alb
sotely Al Deboldt of Colgate commonly known
parts the Asab Of the cinder paths
The Ypsilanti daily press. (Ypsilanti, Mich.) 1928-1962, 1942-05-27
Game Never Over Until Last
Player Out in Last Inning

The old adage that a ball game
is never won until the last player
is out in the last inning certainly
held true when Ypsilantl played
Ann Arbor at the neighboring city
Tuesday.
The Braves We're trailing Al when
they came to bat in the first half of
the seventh. Two errors, "A base on
balls, and a double by Howard
Herbst gave the locals four runs and
put them in the lead by one run.
However. before any further dam
age could be done, Freeman was
thrown out, Davis to Dates, and
Greenfield famed.
With but three men to retire to
win the game Phil Stokes, pitching
for the Warriors. sent one down the
middle which Barth banged out for
a two Dagger. Drury then stepped
up to the plate and poked out sin
gle, sending Barth romping home to
knot the count. He managed to
steal second after Kalmhah had
lined TO King. and crossed the
plate with the winning run on sec
ond baseman Royce's single
Phil Stokes went the entire dis
lance on the mound for Ypsilanti,
giving up eight hits for six runs.
while Bemis, who did the Ann Arbor
The Ypsilanti daily press. (Ypsilanti, Mich.) 1928-1962, 1942-05-27
Benton Locker Room Hero
After Change in His Luck

hurting a four-hitter against the
ST. Louis Browns to win 81.
Moreover, Benton chalked Up a
hit and scored run as the Bengals
evened the present three-game SER
les. 1t was his third bingle and his
second run of the season, already
tying his last summers crop Of
three hits.
In today's contest, Paul Trout
was scheduled to carry out the
mound chores for the Tigers, while
John Niggeling got the starting ned
for the Browns.
After Benton started the Bengals
to victory with his third-inning dou-
BILE to score on Doc Cramer's single,
Eric McNair followed up in grand
fashion with a circuit clout in the
fifth inning.
The third Bengal tally was un
earned. in the seventh.
Hollingsworth singled, then came
two walks and Roy Cullenbine's fly
to give the Browns their lone tally
in the fifth frame.
In giving up eight hits. Al Hol-
lingsworth was nicked for his sec
ond decision.
The Ypsilanti daily press. (Ypsilanti, Mich.) 1928-1962, 1942-05-27
SchooImaSter Leaves Brain
Work For Drawn Work

WAYNESBURG, Pa.-UP-After
ten years as a schoolmaster, A. J.
Petit has taken a job as a loco
motive fireman-because he be-
lieves he can make a greater con-
tribution to the war effort by US
ing his Drawn instead OF his brain.
Firing a locomotive is nothing
new to Petit. That's how he
worked his way through Waynes-
burg College to obtain the educa-
ton that enabled him to become
principal Of the Morris high school
az Nineveh.
Unsuccessful in his efforts to
enlist in the Army Air Corps,
the 36 year old educator snapped
at the chance when the Pennsyl-
vania Railroad asked him to come
back to work as a fireman. Now
he's firing a locomotive on run
between Pittsburgh and Washing.
ton. Pa.
THE railroads are doing a great
Job in this war" Petit said
only you don't realize It because
we're not making guns and shells
and tanks. Bat nobody else would
be making them II It weren't for
the railroads"
Petit has not given up his ed
ucational career entirely. When
the war is over, he'll return to
his books. Petit is married and
the father OF three children.
The Ypsilanti daily press. (Ypsilanti, Mich.) 1928-1962, 1942-05-27
York News
AID SOCIETY MEETS

York, Mich, May 27-Moorevillt
Ladies' Aid Society held their regu
lar meeting Thursday evening, al
the home of Mrs. James Crittenden
After the business meeting. a socia
hour was spent and refreshments
were served.
Mrs. Bert Brownell, Ann Arbor
was a Tuesday visitor of Mrs. Loyal
Kanitz.
Glen Walther spent Sunday in
Toledo with Mr.. and Mrs. Clifford
Wolfe and family.
Mrs. Harlan Holcomb, Mrs. Louis
Smith and Mrs. Nellie Holcomb at
tended the Washtehaw County Fed
Grafton OF Women's Clubs, at its
annual meeting, Thursday afternoon
at the Michigan League. Ann Arbor'
Mrs. Albert Loesch is patient III
Boyer Hospital at Ypsilanti.
Mr.. and Mrs. Burt Draper were
Sunday dinner guests OF their son
ans daughter-in-law, Mr.. and Mrs.
Maurice Draper and son, Ypsilanti.
The dinner was in honor OF Mrs.
Burt Diapers birthday.
Mr.. and Mrs. Loyal Kanitz and
family attended a family dinner,
sunday, at the home of Mr. and
Mrs. Frank Kanitz, Cone.
Mr.. and Mrs. Franklin Smith and
daughter. Adrian. spent the week
end with his parents, Mr.. and Mrs.
Louis Smith.
The Ypsilanti daily press. (Ypsilanti, Mich.) 1928-1962, 1942-05-27
Score by innings 4:

Score by innings:
1884 ass Z
Ann Arbor 49,. OIL 10 / 2-6
Ypsilanti .......Ol 1000 4-5
Stokes and Lawrence.
Bemis and Davis.
The Ypsilanti daily press. (Ypsilanti, Mich.) 1928-1962, 1942-05-27
Lone Double
Spells Record

A lone double in the seventh in
ming was all that prevented Eu-
gene Weed, a slim Highlander.
from hurting his third consecutive
no-hit game Tuesday as Saline
High School defeated Roosevelt,
81, in a Huron League struggle
at Saline.
Weed, a. victim OF the Rough
Riders earlier this spring, had his
no-hitter until one was out in the
seventh. Then Ken Robbie walked.
and Baldwin Batalucco followed
with a two-base knock into left
field TO drive in Roosevelt's only
run.
The Saline pitching ace was in
fine form, striking out 10 batters
over the seven-inning route. He
had to be good because Ross Sun
day, Roosevelt pegger, allowed
only four hits to the Hornets.
Saline acquired one single and
a run in each OF the first three
innings. Stolen bases played an
important part also in the manu-
facture of the Hornets markers.
Since this was Roosevelt's last
contest of the season. Coach John
Ruddon used all OF his sophomore
and freshman players. He also
experimental with a new second
base combination moving Donald
Bud" Susterka TO shortstop and
Pete Bales to the keystone sack.
The Rough Riders this year won
four games and lost four. They
split two-game- series with Saline
and Chelsea, disposed of Dexter
and River Rouge and fell twice to
Milan.
Saline .....1 / o 0 o Ks A.
Roosevelt 30 0 o 0 0 0 Ii I
Weed and Hirth; Sunday and
Ableson.
The Ypsilanti daily press. (Ypsilanti, Mich.) 1928-1962, 1942-05-27
MINORS RULED OUT

Lansing, Mich, May PINS -
Atty.-Gen. Herbert j. Rushton to-
day held that persons OF minor age,
whether or not accompanied by
their parents, cannot be permitted
in liquor-dispensing establishments.
The ruling was given in answer to
request by Kenneth w. Huggett,
Hillsdale County prosecutor.
The Ypsilanti daily press. (Ypsilanti, Mich.) 1928-1962, 1942-05-27
WOULD DELAY RATIoNINe

Lansing. Mich, May 27-lNS -
Convinced that some form" OF gas
oline rationing will come to Mich
igan before the end of the year,
State Highway Commissioner G..
Donald Kennedy was preparing to
visit Washington in an effort to
delay such rationing as long as POS
sible. he said.
The Ypsilanti daily press. (Ypsilanti, Mich.) 1928-1962, 1942-05-27

hurting. held the locals to four hits.
as they scored five runs.
Art Herbst, though hitless in one
official time at bat. scored two
runs, both of which were brought
by Ann Arbor errors.
Bob Moffett. Bob Freeman. and
Wendall Greenfield hit singles
while Howard Herbst's double was
the only extra base clout for the
home team.
The Ypsilanti daily press. (Ypsilanti, Mich.) 1928-1962, 1942-05-27
HOW THEY STAND
AMERICAN LEAGUE

Games behind leader.
Tuesdays Results
Detroit 3, st. Louis l.
Cleveland 2, Chicago /.
Washington s, Philadelphia 3.
New York 8. Boston 2.
Todsy's Games
Detroit at st. Louis.
Chicago at Cleveland.
Philadelphia at New York.
Boston at Washington, night.
The Ypsilanti daily press. (Ypsilanti, Mich.) 1928-1962, 1942-05-27

'St. Louis, Mo-, May 27-AINS-Al
lizard Luck) Benton today was the
hero OF the Detroit Tigers locker
room, having changed his luck in
The Ypsilanti daily press. (Ypsilanti, Mich.) 1928-1962, 1942-05-27
Y. H. 8. Loses. Rough Riders Win

Errors-King ?. II. Herbst 2. Moi
felt, Lawrence. Drury 2. Davis,
Bemis, Royce. Two base hits n.
Herbst, Barth. Stolen bases-Free-
man "A. Herbst. Shrentall 2, Bemis
?. Barth, Drury 2. Left on bases
Ann Arbor IL. Ypsilanti s, Bases
on balls-off Bemis 4, off Stokes Z.
The Ypsilanti daily press. (Ypsilanti, Mich.) 1928-1962, 1942-05-27
NATIONAL LEAGUE

"Games behind leader.
Tuesdays Results
St. Louis 3, Chicago !.
Boston 4, New York 2.
Only games scheduled.
Today's Games
Brooklyn at Boston.
New York at Philadelphia, night
Cincinnati at Chicago.
st. Louis at Pittsburgh.
Evening star., 1942-12-16
Drug Firm Challenges :
FTC Power Over Labels

Miles Laboratories, Inc, Elkhart,
Ind, manufacturer of medicinal
preparations, challenged the au-
thority of the Federal Trade Com
mission to determine the legality of
language in medicinal labels and
advertising in an 18-page complaint
on file today in District Court.
The complaint alleges that the
manufacturer complies with all pro-
visions of the Federal Food, Drug
and Cosmetic Act with regard to
advertising and directions for use of
the medicine, despite a charge by
FTC that the plaintiffs labels fail
adequately to reveal the potential
danger to health that might result
from excessive use of the medicine.
The manufacturer says that ETC
asks him to admit the following:
That excessive use of the medicine
CDR. Miles Nervine," DIR. Miles
Nervine Tablets" and "Dr. Miles
Anti-Pain Pills') may result in
mental arrangement of the user and
may cause collapse or dependence
on the product.
The complaint states that warn
ing statements printed on the pack
ages containing the medicine satisfy
the regulations of the Federal Food,
Drug and Cosmetic Act and that
FTC is stepping beyond its power
in requiring the plaintiff to vary
the language used in the labelling
Of the products.