Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1942-05-29

|. ana woe into tnelr WORK Tor ina
golf ball had supernatural quail
ties and these were not oi
Heaven.
MO TIRES or fuel with which
~ TO drive to Bosky Burn or
Mushy Moor, plus no time I'd
spare from fighting or work
equals no golf apd when a lay
out isn't golfed the crab grssa.
and dandelions sneak into G
green's as advance troops for the}
goldenrod and pussel. the fair
ways run to little birches
spruce and hay and the bar mani
and the keepers, the locker bow
and caddies run TO the armed
forces, the factories and thd
building jobs.
There Is no more melancholy
sight than a golf course gone to|
ruin for such is the perverse eff
feet of the humbling game upon|
the victims soul that though i'll
gave him little else but anguish
all his playing years he loves|
il with the mournful devotion of
a-drunkard's dog.
Golf was. I should say, off \
hand. the most useless OUTDOOR
game ever devised to waste the
time and try the spirit of man.
II was walking game and 80.
as any postman's physician will
attest. tended TO shake down the
victims plumbing into tumble
in his flabby abdomen while try
ing no muscle but those of the
legs.
MOREOVER, il was unfair in
AVA that the game, itself, was
invincible except in the most
fantastic theory according TO
which IL were possible to shoot
1S holes in Is strokes whereat.
even then, the proud challenger
could get no better than a
standoff.
He couldn't shoot Is holes IN
IL even in theory and SO couldn't
hope to beat golf.
Par he might beat, of course.
and so mighty and yet so deft
some golfers were toward the
end that par had ceased TO be
par except for buffers.
But those who beat par habitu-
ally were no more happy than,
those who struggled years ~
end to beat a hundred for tkW
great professional with his mi
raculous 68 would sit with his
head in his hands on the beach
before his locker and repine over
the short hole where his drive
died a hairs breadth from the
cup.
The greatest score ever shot
left golf with plenty Of margin
over the player.
Socially golf was, next 10
craps. the most popular Amer
lean game and far more so than
baseball.
An imported eccentricity of
the idle rich 40 years ago. II
finally provided a common
ground for men from both sides
of the tracks as caddies became
great pions and were
fawned upon by men whose
tools they had toted when OBJ
serving what. by all means, not
TO do.
NOTED gorillas Of the prohibi-
~ ton era. dressed in double
breasted bloomers with gaudy
tassels at the knees. and Tutank-
hamen sweaters. played over the
same suave pasturage with pi-
rates of potter methods from
the busy marts OF larceny under
law.
The boss and the clerk fell
under its spell. drawn at first by
a vague, aspiring sense that.
with boys in white jackets TO
fetch them ginger ale and ice
for their hooch and the casual
mention of my club" they were
coming on to be minor league
Vanderbilts at least.
True, the clubs observed
certain callow snobbery for some
barred Jews but welcomed
cheats and muckers provided
they were Aryan and rude and
rich ensugh. but we all playey
and a waiter in a Washington
hotel used to tell me of his
rounds with a retired general.
My own club had four Japa-
nese members for years who
doubtless plotted the bunkers
for gun pits which goes to show
that you can lower the bars too
far.
We will not realize what golf
was and how much II was Of
the life and scene of the u. S. A.
until. pretty soon, golf abruptly
amt.