Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1942-07-30
Let's Laugh
Poor Budget!
Scans Tax,
Takes Gas
No Longer Face
a Mr.. Morqenthau'
By HENRY McLEMORE

OUR little budget is gone.
W Late yesterday afternoon
il walked into the kitchen,
turned on the gas in the oven,
climbed in closed the door. and
pulled in the latch string
1t left a note asking our for
giveness, and saying that il was
sorry 10 have 10 do such thing.
but that after reading the new
tax bill IT could not possibly
face the future
I'VE have had tough times In
the past" the note read. but
.Somehnw- Me-haye- managed To
pull through. But. on reading
the new bill that -nnur- hefaEe
the Senate realize that / didn't
have any more chance Of max
ing ends meet than "A one-way
street. So, good-by, dear family,
good-by."
Here the note trailed off in
an ilIegible ScraWl OF red Ink
We were sorry TO lose our
little budget
In tribute we lowered the pig
bank on the living room mantel
10 half mast. and gave the de-
partmeHt store bills, eeePed up
in the desk, the night off
1T WAS a good little budget,
Il the one who reduced itself
10 ashes rather than face Nor
genthau and the future.
1t had been with US seven
years, and neither OF US could
recall il having ever complained
the tFeatmeftttt- received
And we did treat it a bit
roughly.
Many's the time we robbed
its Medicine column 10 play a
long SHOT at Belmont
And manyS the time we in
vaded its RAINY Day Fund for
cherry smash at the Stork Club.
We could only remember it
pouting once That was the
time we ruined its 4InCidcntals"
10 buy an exercising machine.
give the white sales at Macys
a whirl, and splurge on a couple
Of lOge smoking allowed seats
10 Gene Autry premiere.
Year after year II took an
awful beating We were always
sweet 10 II at the first of the
month. We could almost hear
IL purr as We followed its guild
snce during the early days of
the month.
Then we would start kicking
u about. An evening OF bridge,
when the illnesses didn't work,
would leave II groggy.
Just when II was regaining
lis balance p Hal Sims or Bud
kelland would get us at golf.
and IL would have 10 take nine
count. BY the end of the
month IL would be a hospital
case.
TO-DAY we shoppcd for a new
Il budget.
After hours Of searching we
found one we liked A sturdy
little fellow, all foolScap and a
yard wide, that looked up from
the stationers counter with a
defiant look in its eyes.
We took il home, determined
that il would be given a shell
tered life aw never be tempted
10 find the fate OF its pred
eCessor.
But how 20 do this?
With the new tax bill any
budget. no matter how tenderlv
il is treated. Is bound to endure
grievouS hurts.
We set TO work 10 find a way.
The first thing we agreed on
was that from now on eating
was out Of the question.
BY giving up food. we figured.
we could save enough TO pay a
tax accountant 10 tell us next
March how much we were short
OF having enough 10 make the
first lnStalment of what we owed
the government
II is not going 10 be easy or
pleasant TO 90 without food, but
better 10 be a skeleton than
spend 10 years trying TO kid
yourself that the man who said
bars do not a prison make knew
what he was talking about.
I'VE DECIDED that cntertain-
w ment must be stricken from
the budget list.
The saving here viii 60 quite
Always toward absorbing the new
SurtaX on incomes already so
low that the better grade wolves
are hiring Stand-inS TO sit on the
front porchcS for them.
Starting tomorrow our enter
tainment will depend on how
loud our next door neighbor
plays his radio, and what sort
Of programs he prefers.
OF course. we arc not going 10
pampcr our now budget TOO
much. II 10 ever gets around 10
complaining. and putting up-too
much Of Squawk about being
prosecuted, Wen just remind il
of the boys in Egypt, and the
boys in Russia. who could have
an orgy on a tin of X ration and
a lemonade
We'll even tell if that if things
come 10 the worst. Wen pick it
up, imitation leather cover and
all, and throw it al the enemy.
Taxes are tough, but slavery