Evening star., 1942-04-15


Hsnry MeI~mere ttctans who
spend q good hour OF each day out
lining the way things really ought
to be done.
The fact that these strategists are
amateurs should not be held against
them. II the law OF averages means
anything. one or two good plans
are bound to come out Of such q vast
number.
At the moment I am stopping at
a big hotel and the dining room
during the breakfast. luncheon and
dinner hours looks like map fac
tory. As soon as the meal orders
are written the pencils are trans
ferred to the tablecloth and military
campaigns for all OF the Allied
Nations forces are sketched to many
humping of fists, raising Of voices
and shaking of heads.
The deserts OF Africa, the snowy
steppes of Russia. the jungles OF
Australia, the mountains Of China,
all miraculously appear on the table
cloth.
Only this morning ut breakfast
saw q fine old gentleman almost
defeat Japan single-handedly. using
only a salt and pepper shaker a.
q naval task force and . cereal
bowl as an air armada. He m-
doubtedly would have completed
the conquest Of Japan, represented
by a saucer on which he was NOV
ing stealthily with his cereal bowl
before his eggs came, II his wife
had not interrupted him by draw
ing n map OF Russia and insisting
that that was where our forces
must 60, and not to Japan.
Only two tables away Gen. Rommel
was in full flight in Libya. having
been routed by the brilliant strate-
gies of o retired wholesale egg dealer
and q clergyman, each of whom had
a pencil and small respect for the
British campaign to date against ths
Axis tank commander.
Just what their tactics were I
don't know, but when I passed by
their table overheard enough con-
versation to know that Rommel
would be lucky to get away with his
life If the British would only employ
their plan Of attack.
1t should cheer the Russians 10
know that Americas homegrown
strategists have any number of
ways to stave OF Hitler's spring
offensive. A man equipped with
standard size and shape ears can't
go into any gathering without hear
ing Of them. The man over by the
piano at a cocktail party has one;
the lady in the next seat on the
bus has another: the taxi driver has
another and the butcher has still
another.
OF course. these novice military
men and women give geography a
fine kicking around. Their knowl-
edge of distance is not completely
sound. They speak of Russia as II
it we're just across the street and
are thoroughly convinced that to
move 100000 men from New York
TO Moscow entails no more difficult
ties than peeling banana.
The fact that the President, in a
radio address. asked his listeners
TO get out a globe or a map Of the
world and study the problems of
transportation, apparently didn't
wise them up one whit. To them
Australia is as close as the corner
druggist and Burma is just a IS
cent call on the telephone. They
can't understand why the bombers
and tanks that are rolling of the
line can't get into action almost
as soon as they are completed.
But, nevertheless, think 1t would
be good idea to call in all the
tablecloths and have them exam
ined by our military leaders.
Consider what happened at our
table last night. There were some
pretty good military minds gath
cred about it. One fellow had been
in the Spanish American War; that
is, he got as far as Tampa. An
other fellow has had three years
OF r. o. T. c. training and another
fellow had a friend who had met
Gen. Macarthur AS for myself,
one Of my great uncles turned an
ankle getting down Missionary
Ridge.
We talked war strategy pretty
seriously, and I have saved our
tablecloth In case Washington
wants it.
distributed by McNauEht Syndicate. Incl