The Waterbury Democrat., 1942-08-11

I V v oRC0hOAt travelling from and to Washington Secondly, these officials really don have time to make these speeches if they are to do their administra tive jobs right. Thirdly, the ghost! who write the speeches for the bil name officials don't have the time tt write good speeches, being too busy writing publicity handouts and ans. wering questions.
 To save wear and tear on ghosts transportation and the hot shots themselves, therefore, some kind oi a national wartime economy cam. paign should be launched to cut down on the number of interrup- tions imposed on busy officials. PRIORITIES
 PROPOSED
 A limitation order might be issued priorities assigned, and speakers "a. toned on the basis of say one speech per 10000 people per siz months.
 Maybe that is too rich a ration for after looking over the advance copies of a lot of these speeches the pattern begins to jell and you get so you know what's coming next. If the country could get along on synthetic speeches for the duration, conservation pro- gram could be put over which should have everyone reasonably happy and just about as inspired as if they had a shot of the real Mccoy.
 For all wartime speeches, like all political, speeches seem to run to a formula, and with simple outline as a guide and a few blank spaces to be filled in with local references there is no reason why an ersatz speech couldn't be de- livered just as well by the mayor the commander of the D. A. R. or American Legion Post, the Civilian Defense Council chairman, or the high school professor of elocution It isn't what guy says that counts, anyway. It's how il sounds.
 As 8 trial balloon, this is about what you might expect from one of these war economy effusions:
 Gentlemen of the Peanut Brit tie Industry: Substitute glass beads, girdle and bra, horseshoe grits and grease, or other correct designation to make appropriate salutation0
 Tt gives me great pleasure to be here (tonight, this noon) to read this synthetic speech to you on behalf of Co-ordinator (Direc- tor, Administrator, Chairman) - Gill in correct name of whoever it is from the ABC, DEF or CHI bureau, branch, division or ofhce.)
 PRAISE PLUS
 PROBLEMS
 "If -- were here, I am sure he would tell you that (a) Long before Pearl Harbor the peanut brittle industry had lined up for all out production of peanut brittle tc win this war, Or (b) Today the pea nut brittle industry faces crisis.
 T want to remind you that (here, remind them of something) tell you about the work of oul division (bureau, branch or ofice) and to show you how we are try. ing to make your problems oul problems and our problems you problems. (Follow here with z long and involved explanation O red tape organization, co-ordina. tion and liaison.)
 T do not need to remind vol that this country as whole face! a crisis. (At this point, discus the rubber situation, sugar, ga or fuel oil rationing, being sur, to mention no fact that is not al ready known.)
 What this all boils down to i that we are going to have peanu brittle made the American way or the way Hitler tells Us to mak' 1t. (Pause for Rpplause)
 "In the words of 0nsert here { statement from George Washing ton, Roosevelt or Bartlett'S Fla miliar Quotations. Follow witt references to Midway, Coral Sea Bataan, Singapore, our gallan allies and speculate little = bu not too much = on the secont | front.)
 We must face this situation squarely. The contribution O labor must not be ignored. Th' smoke from the factories is thu smoke of battle.
 Tn closing, let me make thi! final point. I know, and your gov ernment in Washington knows that it can count on this industr, never to let our boys get Stucl for peanut brittle"
 The foregoing is not funny, ant it was not consciously intended tt be funny. It is slightly disguised but literal composite condensa' ton of four speeches delivered b, important people in junkets as fal afield as New Orleans, Dallas, De troit, and Atlantic City. Nov really, is it worth while bringing busy bureaucrats away from, theil desks in Washington for such a this?