Evening star., 1942-05-30

cards, we suppose) believe that a
return to the kimono for general
wear, and bowling and Kissing when
being introduced or greeting friends,
will prove a complete spiritual
overcoming of Anglo-Saxon thought
and customs" J."
They also undoubtedly believe
that such a movement will cause US
heather pants-wearers and hand
shakers to lose face, to go stand in
corners and pout until the Japa-
nese put on their breeches again.
Of course, this won't happen. Our
bombers will roll off the lines, our
ships will take to sea, no matter
whether the Japs wear camisoles,
Mother HubbardS, Prince Alberts,
loin cloths or diving bells.
Nevertheless, we Americans should
retaliate in some form. The Japs
do lose face. even if we don't. When
members of the human race, an
organization they have been trying
to join for years, make light Of
them, they feel it very keenly. They
react as lower animals do when
punished by their keepers. They
also eye the old kitchen bread knife
as a hara -kiri weapon, and look up
the excursion rates to that fool
volcano they're always jumping
into.
So let us hit the front pages Of a
few Toxic newspapers with some Of
the japanese traits We are going to
get rid of. Let us come out strongly
against two recognized character
istics-bad eyes and buck teeth.
That1l be a good starter. Thatu
break their hearts.
You can't be a gay blade in Toxic
unless you can eat the heart out Of
a cantaloupe from ten PAGES. And,
to be a glamour girl in Japan your
front teeth must arrive at a night
club minute or two before you do.
AS for weak eyes, well, the best
present that godfather can bring
to what passes for a Japanese
christening is a pair of horn-rimmed
bifocals.
There are many other japanese
traits and customs that we can Go
away with. We have been pretty
lenient with the japanese beetle in
this country. We never have at
tackled it with the same enthusiasm
as we have attacked native American
pests that have much more of a
right to be here, such as the boil
weevil, the corn borer, the potato
bug and John L. Lewis.
We certainly can give up Japa-
nese flower arranging. After all. is
it really necessary that a vase of
flowers give us a message in Japa-
nese when We look at it? None of US
speak japanese, anyway, so the
effort to have dahlias, bachelor but
tons and maidenhair fern tell us a
story by the way they are placed in
the pot is an effort Of pure waste.
The Japanese probably don't
know it, but by switching to kimonos
they have aided our war effort. We
have worn enough kimonos-or
bathrobes as we call them-to know
that they are definite hindrance
to progress. To wear a bathrobe
properly, man must give all his
time to it. There is the belt, to
start with, or rather, there isn't the
belt. No one can ever find the belt
to bathrobe, and if you do find it
you are not much better off, because
it never stays tied. A man can't
wear a bathrobe-or kimono-and do
anything else. 1t just keeps opening
up and Tapping around, and show
ing the darns in your underwear.
AS far as handshaking is con-
cerned, can easily understand why
the japanese have given that up.
The handshake signifies friendship
and trust. There is no use wasting
time on things that don't mean any,
thing to you, and in Japan friend
ship and trust became one with the
first emperor's bones, early of a De-
cember morn.
Distributed by McNaught Syndicate, Incl