The Waterbury Democrat., 1942-09-01

NStd tB uc tuI}s
 But now c stands
 EAsom for Co-ofdinator
 A co-ordinator i' supposed to coordinate several ad- ministrtors' programs and plans which might otherwise conflict. A co-ordinator therefore has super vision over several bureaus and their administrators.
 D might stand for Dollar-a year man. but more properly. D stands for Dlreetcr. A director Issues direc- tives. A director can issue dircctives to the co-ordinators. telling them to map out programs for several bur eaus to carry out through their ad- ministrators.
 F stands for the Chief Executive. The chief executive issues executive orders which give the directors au- thority to issue dircctives to the CO., erdinators, telling them 10 co-ordi- nate the work of the bureaus through their administrators.
 r stands for Fiscal Year, the clumsy. confusing period between one July and the next June 90 in which the chief executive tells the directors to coordinate the bureau administrators
 c stands for Government Gravy. Administrators. bureaus. cabinet officers. e0-ordinatCrs. directors and even the chief executive all try Co gc. the Budget Bureau to approve their asking Congress to give them more and more governmental gravy. HIGHER-UPs
 ARE NEXT
 II stands for Higher-ups. No mat ter how high you go in the govern- ment. or how much gravy you get there arc always higher-ups 10 tell yCu what to do.
 stands for InelIicieney, which Is ruthleasly hunted down by Inspec- tors. Administrators designate some subordinate as an inspector to go through the bureau and see that all acts of Congress. direetives and ex- ecutiye orders are compiled with and that the gravy is going where the higher-ups hoped it would.
 ] stands for justice. which mo- body in government ever seems to get, if you ask them.
 K stands for Kicked-upstairs. An inspector who finds any in- efficiency will recommend to the higher-ups that because of mis- management of government gravy in the last fiscal year. an executive order should be issued. relieving ad- ministrator 4 from his duties as head Of bureau B and appointing him to a job as co-oTdinator of de- partments x. ' and z. Such an ad- ministrator Is said to be kicked up- stairs.
 L stands for LAaison. As you have seen, things are getting pret- c complicated. 50 1t is necessary to appoint laison officers to keep administrators, bureaus, co-ordi- nators and directors informed on what they are doing
 MILITARY
 MAJESTY
 NJ stands for Military Of late. all the foregoing, from administration right through liaison, have been suspieious that the military is try ing to take them over.
 N stands for Navy, The military always complains that out in the field. the Naval officers always rank higher than the Army's ofii- eeFs.
 Q stands for Operations. Ad- ministratoFs are always telling you about the operations of their bureau.
 P stands for Politics This Is a game played by all buTeauerats, the generic term for all govern ment employees from adminlslra- tian hFain-tFusters to military and Naval brass hats, Purpose of the game of politics is for each player ln get everybody else kieked-up- stairs SO that he himself can be promoted,
 e stands for Quorum, II Is nec- eSsaTy for both House of Congress and all government committees t0 have a quorum present, in order 10 do business, In Congress, when- ever Q congressman wants to go Co the rest rooms, he calls for a quorum, which Is seldom there, R stands for Red Tape and Re- organization, When bureaus ex- nand their operations, they in evitahly get bound with red tape. < STANDS
 FOR SECRET
 s stands fer government Secret, ha, ha, hah, ha, hal Until publicly announced, rnMorS of re0Tganixa- tion plans are all supposed 10 be government secrets, Jokes over.
 T stands for Taxpayer, the sapl
 U stands for Unlimited author ity which all huTeauerals wish they had from higheT-ups,
 V stands for Verify, All huTeau- cFats must verify everything with their higheT-ups,
 " stands for War Production naard. a government agency whlsh Is constantly being FeoEgan- lzed ta eliminate rcd tape,
 x in government, as everywhere else, Is the great unknown, which wish they could verify,
 Y stands for Nes-men, which Is what great administrators always surround themselves with,
 z ls for Zero, which Is what taxpayers have left when they get through paying for all this. and Is uehat tf an auaAflHfg t0