The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1941-02-06
By KATHLEEN NORRIS

she takes the serious step
= of marriage are very nat
ural fears. Any girl who is will
ing to Jump into the new life,
accept the new name and home,
responsibilities and position
without any misgivings, is a
rather shallow girl. We expect
the bride to be a little dubious,
a little hesitant, a little afraid
of her own fitness to handle the
problems of marriage.
But the other extreme is al
most as unfortunate as the one
of too much confidence. To
weigh and measure, doubt and
worry, analyze and hesitate
over your matrimonial pros
poets is to rob the happiest time
of your life of its fragrance and
beauty. When I receive letter
like the following, I have small
hopes that the girl who wrote it
is headed for a successful ex-
perience as a wife.
An Eye to Alterations.
David and I have been engaged
for more than year." writes Maude
Brown. ''He is "a, I am seven years
younger; we are both school-teach-
ers. Everything I know of David S
character is fine, but there are
many little things about him that
worry me; they may not seem
important to most girls, but they
are to me. I would not hurt his
feelings for the world; just because
he has not had some of the social
advantages that most of my friends
have had. But I feel that just a
few changes In him would make him
perfection itself and I need advice
as to how to go about accomplishing
them. Intellectually he is more than
a match for any of my friends; next
year he will probably be superin-
tendent of our Union High, the young
est man ever to hold that position.
''To give you an idea of what I
mean. David is very outspoken.
Before our friends he will say things
like: How can you folks afford
that?' or: we're going to board with
Maude's mother awhile, at regu-
lar boarder rates. little intimate
matters that embarrass me and my
friends. Once at a picnic David
refused frankfurters saying that
they gave him gas;' he never rises
when a woman stands up to leave
the table; he doesn't take off his
hat when women are In the elevator,
pull out my chair, or open the car
door for me. In short, he is rough
diamond, but he is diamond!
Makes Her Feel Self Conscious.
''Now, if these things worry me
before marriage, and make me self
conscious before all my old group
he is a comparative newcomer In
town, by the way, will they not wor-
ry me infinitely more when we are
married, and I feel that there is no
escape? Marriage is delicate and
an intimate relationship; to sensi-
tive woman there cannot be In it
too much consideration or fnesse.
I want to be proud of my husband IN
every way, and in every way that
really counts, I am proud of David.
He is moderate In all his habits,
popular, thrifty, successful.
Would Destroy Davids Bigness.
ST would hope by gentleness and
example and the influence of wife
to influence him, but even now he
only laughs good naturally if I am
disturbed, and within few days
repeats the offence, whatever it was.
David really does not see in what
way he is failing me, and I ask
myself If he ever will see. Have
you had problems similar to this
one before, and If you have what
has been your advice?"
My advice in this case, Maude,