Milford chronicle., 1941-07-04
H0M E ED UGAT 7 10 N
"The ChiLdys First School is the
Family-FRoEBEL
Iasued BY the National Kindergarten .
Association, West 40th Street,
New York City
LEARNING TO MEET
DISAPPOINTMENTS
Viola E. Holley

Viola e. Holley
What can anyone do with a chile
who insists upon pouting when shi
cannot have her own way?" asked
a mother.
my children never pout," was
the reply. "They slam doors and
bang their toys about instead"
There are other children who re-
spond still differently, but in each
case where we find child showing
undesirable behavior because he
cannot have his own way, it prob
ably indicates that he needs help
in learning how to meet disappoint-
ments.
If we wish to help him, we must
try first of all to get his point of
view as nearly as we can. This
will relieve us of any impatience
and annoyance that we may feel
over the situation, and we shall
then be able to deal with the prob
lem more wisely than we otherwise
could.
1t Is natural for a child to want
to have his own way, to follow out
his own ideas and desires. To be
sure, we cannot allow him to salts
fly his every whim, but we should
remember that the child who is
continually thwarted will find life
unnecessarily hard. Under such
conditions he is not likely to de-
velop into the self-reliant, joyous,
resourceful child we want him to
be.
We must give him an opportun-
ity for the unfoldment of his pow
ers through work and play suitable
for his age. To provide such an en-
requires considerable |
understanding on the part of the
parent and is something for which
we need continually to strive. We
may be sure that the more ade-
quately we do provide for the child
as he grows, the fewer occasions
there will be for pouting, temper
tantrums and other undesirable
forms of behavior.
There will be times, though,
when it is necessary to say no."
when it would not be best for him,
Or those about him, to let him have
mis- own way. These are the occa-
sions which we should use to help
him learn how to meet disappoint-
nents.
One mother, whose little boy had
allen into the habit of displaying
ll-temper when he could not have
What he wanted, found it a help to
Ieep three points in mind as she
worked for good habits.
She asked herself first of all,
Just how do l want him to behave
when have to say 'no'?" She was
that she could not at
,nce answer this question. 1t
eemed that she was so annoyed
md troubled over his disRgreeable
that she could not think
learly about the matter. She saw i
hat under these conditions it was Z
to expect The child, {
Vho was only eighteen me nths old, {
o know how to behave. she would G
e obliged to have it clear first in S
er own mind before she could 4
each him to do better. Il
After thinking it over, she de- {
ided that she wanted him to learn
, be cheerful even in the face of n
isappointment and to be willing n
} turn to something else when he =
Tas denied what he wanted. 6
The next step was to make clear T
, him what she expected. On the 8
rst occasion that developed, she Il
ID him to sing with her, explain 3
lg to him that he was a happy n
Mild and that happy child likes +
} sing. Always, after this, when
lie said no." to his requests, she v
fered a substitute, at the same a
me setting him an example Of 2
Milling good humor. r
Lastly, she kept in mind that it n
iquires patient and persistent Ell
'actice to build up new habit. Ia
he did not get discouraged be- al
use it took several weeks of such D,
'actice before he learned that he II
uld be happy even when he could
It have his own way. For these la
ere weeks that showed constant in
ogress in freeing him from ILL II
mper, and she knew they were ye
ying the foundation for a happy la
ildhood. in