Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1941-02-22
Offers Proof
In Brunette,
Blonde Spa+
Horassed Critic Digs Into
History in Emergency
BY DAMON RUNYON

MISS CATHERINE CAHILL
Avn land a lovely. euphonious
name it is. to be sure) of 4S-08
Forty-seventh street. Woodside,
New York. takes exception to
recent crack of ours in which
we described the weather in
Washington as colder than
blondes heart. Miss Cahill says
she cannot imagine how we ever
got the idea that blondes are
cold-hearted.
The remark came of seeing a
blonde lady on the biting day of
MIR. Roosevelt'S open air inau-
guration compel the gentleman
with her to remove his earmuffs
and give them to her.
We thought that very cold
hearted. indeed. However, now
that Miss Cahill has challenged
our simile, we can assure her
that it is a scientific and his
toric fact that blondes in gen.
eral are quite cold, and it may
be assumed that the chill ex-
tends to the cardiac region.
Some claim that it starts
there. In any event they are
certainly much colder than
brunets. !,
Even nature conrives to prove
our case. You take polar bears,
now. They are Undoubtedly
blonde. They reside in the cold
est regions of the earth. vet
they JOY and thrive in their
frigid environment.
1t would appear that nature
IN her infinite wisdom knew
where to place blondes. Look
at the snow geese of the far
northland. which are surely
blondes. And the little animal
known as the ermine, another
creature of the lower tempera-
lures. Also blonde.
Even when it is brought to
warmer chimes, what becomes of
the ermine? Why, it is blended
with the blondes of the human
species in wraps and what-not.
And here again we discern the
wise hand of nature.
The ermine is given a tail
with tiny black tip. This is to
enable us to tell after the blend
ing where the ermine leaves off
and the human blonde begins.
MOST Of the real sizzling gals
NA of history and of mythol-
ogy, too. were brunettes. The cold
tomatoes were blondes. They
got guys in plenty of trouble.
Maybe it was because they
lacked the fire of feeling that
can communicate to men and
heat their imagination and am
bition toward human causes.
A fellow with frozen feet does
not bounce about with the en-
ergy and Zest of one who has
been well warmed in the benign
glow of understanding and SYM
pathy case by a good hot num-
Der. He never gets thoroughly
thawed out.
1t is true that Venus, the god
dess of love, was a blonde, but
we think there was something
crooked about her election. You
take a look at her statue and
tell us if you have ever seen
anything frostier except perhaps
nut sundae.
Lorelei. who used to chill the
sailors on the Rhine to their
death. was a blonde and her
racket is the tipoff on her. She
must have had an ice bag where
her heart should have been.
HELEN OF TROY, Cleopatra,
II Josephine, DuBarry, Cath
crime of Russia, Pompadour,
Sheba, Salome and Lady Hamil-
ton were brunettes, some of
them sultry and also hefty. Sew
eral of them also got guys in
jams in their time, but in those
cases we imagine it was a
pleasure.
At least the boys probably
came out a little tepid. We
think. however, we would have
passed that Salome. She acted
like a blonde.
OF course it is not the fault
of the blondes that they are
Colder-hearted than the bru-
nettes. That same nature we
speak of earlier in our thesis is
responsible. Perhaps she was
making the blondes at the same
time she was turning out the
polar bears and got them mixed
up.
In any event, all blonde has
10 do nowadays TO become a
brunette is to visit beauty
parlor and then carry an cleo
trio pad concealed on her person
and NJ guy living can tell the
difference.