Evening star., 1941-07-25

our land, and what better way TO
stamp them out than to stamp those
responsible for them With an
identifying label?
Consider the parking space pirate,
that smirking fellow who appears to
drive aimlessly around the streets
waiting until you decide to park.
and who then slips into the avail
able space, just ahead of you. What
a satisfaction it would be to wait
until he had left his car and then
chalk big p 'for Pig on the back
of his automobile.
The cafeteria dawdler is another
pest who has no more place in So
ciety than dog poisoner. You know
the type. He gets his tray and
starts down the line with the inde-
ClSlOn of q mouse in a maze. He
studies each item of food as If he
had never seen it before. The
simplest plate Of lettuce fascinates
him, and such ordinary dishes as
roast beef or chicken a Ia king
hold him spellbound for minutes.
Wouldn't it be nice to put a big D
for daWdler on his back in the hope
that he would eventually wake up 10
the fact that he is not supposed to
be quite as leisurely in a cafeteria
as in an art museum?
A 2-foOt f1ypaper r would be
suitable for pasting on the backs of
a large group of Americans who
are movie roamers. They are the
ones who never like any Of the
first five seats they try in a movie.
They tramp around, back and forth,
over your feet. They sit directly in
front of you for a while and then
shift one seat to the left. Then,
as If some invisible quarterback
were calling signals, they move over
a couple OF seats to the right.
Then there is the man who Is
always ahead of YOU in the line at
a ticket window in a railroad sta
ton. The simpler the ticket you
want the less time you have to
catch train, the more complicated
the ticket always is that he is after.
He settles down in front Of tho
window. puts both arms on the
ledge, and begins TO quiz the seller
as to the quickest route to some
spot thousand miles away.
Then he wants to know the most
scenic route. He is interested in
every conceivable stop-over. and
how much luggage he can carry
and what lines he'll be going over
and how much he will save if he
buys round-trip ticket and what
If he should decide not to come back
by train.
Il have friend out there. YOU
know. who has a car and it NAV he
that I'll come back part of the wav
with him"
How would he go about getting a
refund? He also wants to know the
difference between coach and Pull
man fare. II takes much thumbing
through books to get this informa-
ton, and then comes the purchasing
of the ticket itself.
I wish some one would tell me-
why, in this age of efficiency. rail-
roads still sell tickets Just the way
they did when wood burning loco
motives roamed the rails. Since
Casey Jones time, ticket-sellers
have had to scamper to odd looking
booths, pull out endless bits of pink
and green and yellow papers. punch
them all together and write SEEM
ingly hundreds Of little hieroglyphics
somewhere on them, until YOU
finally end up with ticket approyi-
mately the same length as your trip.
The buyers of these Iong-winded
tickets should get the letter u
plastered on them for inconsidera-
| ton for not letting the short-trip
ticket seekers go ahead of them.
The railroads should get the same
letter "1," only theirs would stand
for inefficiency in not thinking up
some system whereby a man want
ing to buy ticket to a neighbor-
ing town wouldn't have to stand in
line behind a gent who wanted one
to Nome, with side trip to visit
his uncle in Key West.
There are just a few of the letters
OF the alphabet that I think could
be put to good use. You probably
have lot of your own you'd like
to stick around, including one for
my back.
Id rather not have you tell me
what letter it is. I'd rather guess.
distributed BY McNauEht Syndicate, Inc)