The Waterbury Democrat., 1941-05-21
Walter WincheII
 O. Br00dN'Qy 1. Gsade MarA Registered. copyns>G lssO Daily nlsrssl
beach" mark She thinks Tony's is a shoe-shine parlor.
arA Reeiaered. CepyrlgNt. lSt0. pally HalsEeel

beach" mark :. She thinks Tony's is @ shoe-shine parlor.
 She hates double -talkers. double crossers, double-entendres and dou- ole scotches |. To her going on the wagon" means hayride with the boy friend and the gang You won't find her father rated in Dun & Bradstreet's In fact, he may not even be listed in the phone di- rectory Her fingernails never grow to claw-length because they'd get mired up in the typewriter keys :: When you talk about heels Sne thinks you mean part of your shoes .... The fur coat she's wear ing was purchased by herself on the lnstal!ment plan .. It's almost paid or, too She doesn't go slum- ming on Second avenue. She lives there An escort serviee would fail If 1t was up to girls like her.
 She wore the colors of the Flag as an ornament on her dress or coat long before 1t was fashionable to do SO .. She thinks phony eye- lashes look exactly like phony eye lashes |. |. She never bothers peo- pie in the public eye for their auto graph When Joan Crawford gets a bum notice 1t makes her ache Nobody from the fashion page of the newspapers ever writes up what she wore at the open ing the night before, because she goes to the theater after she's read the reviews. And, anyway, they'd never see her because she sits in the balcony and stays there during lntelmission -. She smells, sweet, not because of any perfume, but because she washes her neck, too :. When she says she loves you 1t comes from the heart, not a Cuba Libre.
 You seldom hear her pulling any of Dorothy Parker's best bon -mots, but If she does she prefaces 1t with credit to Miss Parker Nobody ever goes to the bother of telling her shady gags because they always lay an egg .. Her vocabulary of cuss words is limited When she gets real angry she says: Holy smoke!" She reads the best books and understands them, not just an occasional detective story At the movies she considers 1t perfectly normal and proper for the boy friend to hold her hand not her knee Ii you told her you were a press agent she'd say: What's that?" If a fellow ever pinched her any place but the cheek she'd never say: "Fresh!" .. She'd haul off and bang him one .. She's definitely not in the Social Register She couldn't be She's the kind of gal who always says thanks" to walters.
 She's a strange little creature, this kernel of alien corn. She doesn't like being called dame or a broad She bought Oscar Levant's book to read 1t, not to have him autograph 1t On her way to the little girls room she never pauses to shout "Darrrrleeeengl" to Brenda Frazier or Ernest fleming way - for the stupid reason that they do not know her |. She thinks that "The Great Dictator" and Fantasia" are swell, and that the critics are wacky |. Two highballs are enough for her and she won't let you pay night club prices for doll or toy . I don't know how she lasts in this town .. She stops eating bread, potatoes and sweets when she's getting chunky, instead of having the beef pounded off She always goes home with the fellow who brought her, and she's never called anybody "Stinky".
 Saroyan, Stein and Dali are not up her alley She loves Tos- canini or Kostelanetd recordings and detests Gloomy Sunday" .... Her grandfather wasn't with Give in India and none of her kin came over on the Mayflower, but they all made darn fine buck privates when they were needed Sheila Barrett would find her dull material for satire, but she would have made a swell heroine for Harold Bell Wright She eats onions with hamburgers She doesn't know Petr Arno and vice versa ... She's her own Emily Post and insists you use your knife on that impos- sible hunk of lettuce When she goes into phone booth, 1t Is to call her mother to say she'll be later than she thought, not to phone some other guy to meet her after she drops the one she's with She applauds when the Ameri- can Flag is flashed on the screen .. She closes her eyes when she dances with you, and stays on key when she huns in your ear You can bet your life she isn't flirting with the sax player over your shoulder She's the gal your mother was and your sister is.
 
 ANywawN AyW ~ wNyN SHtENSE