Evening star., 1941-07-10

S"S"'''''S' S''S''s'''@@%@ After ! was in
Mr.. McLemore bed I placed the
onions, carrots, potatoes and celery
around me. Just before I turned
out the light sprinkled myself
with salt and pepper and called
down to the hotel desk and told the
clerk to have bellboy come in
and turn me over every hour.
didn't want TO take any chance Of
not cooking evenly on all sides.
The experiment was a rousing
success.
When morning came I and the
vegetables were done to a turn. T
prodded myself and them with a
fork and We were just right.
jumped quickly out of bed to avoid
scorching and was tempted TO gar
nish myself with parsley instead OF
putting on my pants and shirt.
But there was work to be done
so went out on the street and At
tracted no particular attention, al
though the doorman did wrinkle
his nose and say, Yum! Yum"
when passed. Every one in WASH
ington was as well cooked as I, but
they have come to accept and 10
love the fireless cooker that serves
them as home. Why, some of the
women laughingly use Worcester
shire sauce instead of perfume,
feeling it is more appropriate.
AS a matter of fact, I have the
idea that Washingtonians are a
little proud of their city's summer
heat. You try TO tell them you
have been in a hotter town and
you almost have a fight on your
hands. I believe you would have a
fight if Washingtonisns weren't too
limp from the heat TO lift their
! fists.
When you recall scorching eve
nings spent in st. Louis, Wichita,
Toledo, Minneapolis and st. Paul.
they bristle, if you can imagine
dishrag bristling.
They may have high tempera-
lures" they tell you with ring Of
pride in their voices, but their
humidity isn't in the same league
with ours. And as you know. ii
isn't the heat, it's the humidity
Let a voter come 10 Washington
and spend a few days in the only
town I know of where the thermom-
eters wear pith helmets, and he'll be
a little less hasty in criticiZing his
lawmakers. A voter will come to
understand even such "hot-heads"
as Claude (Cayenne) Pepper, Frank
(Hand Me My Musket, Nellie) Knox
and Carter Fire Long Before You
See the Whites of Their Eyes Glass.
But there is always silver lining,
and there is one to be found in
Washington's heat. In the first
place, it increases the already tre-
mendouSs statue of George Wash
ington. 1t was George Washington
who commissioned Maj. Pierre c.
LEnfant to lay out the Capital of
the country on the spot it is.
I like to think that George Wash
| ington, having lived so many years
in nearby Mount Vernon, knew just
what he was doing. AS the first
President of this great democracy,
he wanted to be sure that it would
remain a democracy.
I maintain that he could have
made no sounder move toward that
end than to have placed the Capital
where 1t Is.
With Washington as Capital, the
| United States can never be ruled BY
monarch or a dictator. It's much
too hot for that. To maintain
monarchy there must be much pomp
and ceremony and that calls for
heavy costumes. No one could ever
stand up under a high bearskin
hat or a uniform all covered with
braid in Washington. The White
House guards now lounge about in
shirt sleeves. Put them in the trap
pings of a monarchy and you'd have
daily burying of the guards, not
merely changing of them.
A dictatorship would work out
the same way. Pageantry is part
and parcel of a dictators tool kit.
He must stage outdoor shows with
hundreds of thousands of his slaves
taking part. Mass hundreds of
thousands of persons under a Wash
ington sun and they would stew to
death in their own juices. And the
chances are the dictator would do
the same. No dictator could be i'm
pressive if he had to cool himself
with a palm leaf fan as he def1ed
the universe in speech. And seer
sucker makes a poor cloak for in
vincibility.
BY now I'm leftover pot roast.
Make of me what you will, but I'd
prefer to be stew.
tDistributed nv MrNsupht svn5Iret. fr.N