The Waterbury Democrat., 1941-03-10


 readers or the
 AusOn copy books, but as piece of exposition on the kind of hazing 8 new congressman goes through, 1t is Illuminating material for the folks back home who vote to send these people to Washington.
 Congressman Patrick was very fair about the whole thing. Ten days before he delivered his speech, he warned the House he was going to make 1t and what the subject would be.
 T do not particularly encourage attendance of anybody who has been here over two years," he said. "There is no way to force the new congressmen to attend. They may or may not come. But they are welcome. ..4f} Candor like this is unusual, and the gentleman from Alabama should go far. And he wasn't giving relief or advice. he said - just comfort and company, for the problems that beset the new con- gressman are the same ones that beset the old.
 DON'T SEND COMBS TO RAYBURN
 Congressman Patrick was frank enough to admit that everything he had to say was based on his own mistakes. The first thing he learned was that no member of the lower House gets into an elevator ahead of a senator. Mastering that. he went on to bigger and better things and by swallowing the bitter pills of sad experience he absorbed enough vitamin D to compile his list of Dos and Donts.
 Rule l is to avoid being original. No matter what & congressman has to say, it's safer to attribute 1t to someone else. "Quote, blickety, blickety blick. Unquote."
 There is no congressional rule prohibiting a new congressman from speaking If he has something to say, but Patr1ck's Rule for new congressman is to be sure they're not mistaken about having something to say. A congressman is usually beaten on something he has said. .., .
 Rule is to avoid making promises back home. Tell young ladies at home you'll introduce them to Mrs. Roosevelt, and she's sure to be out of town when the home folks arrive and ask you to make good. f. !.
 If there is personal experience behind Patrick's Rule 4, he won't admit 1t, but the rule Is: Don't send Speaker Rayburn a comb for Christmas. (U. S.-He's bald)
 And for Rule 5--Don't try to beat the senator with a telegram relaytng news about the letting of government contract in the home district. That's the senator's privilege. and furthermore, the best way for a new congressman to communicate with govern ment department is by telephone through the senator's ofice.
 A good many congressman go through their terms without see- ing the inside of the Congressional lADkhkyI Uub LutL Ih . 4aCAb pVllt 10 to keep up on general reading.
 Rule 7--Family ties are just as important in Washington as else- where, and the homeliest girl often makes the best secretary. Enough said, hut. there's a corollary to that: No congressman is ever greater than his secretary.
 A congressman has to watch his beauty, too, and Rule 8 Is never to let the features relax or droop. Sure as he does, photographer will pop up from a paw paw bush or sofa and catch him at his worst.
 Next Is to avoid prophesying the outcome of the war.
 Rule l0-"Let not your heart be troubled when those who oppose you say, He's been in Congress X years. and what has he done?'"
 Constituents who send telegrams are not as numerous as those who don't.
 Rule l1-Don't make any state ments on the floor Of the House as to how your district would vote on any gwen lSSue.
 RESPECT
 YOUR ELDERS
 Another don't on speaking is to avoid cracking down on anyone in such fashion that 1t has to be ex- punged from the record. Say things backward" advises Patrick.
 There are three rules about senior congressman. Listen to them when they're older. Be re- spectful when they've been here 10 years or more, as the chances are they're chairmen of commit tees. Never tell constituent what you1l do with the senator. as the chances are the constituent has been to both senators, first.
 Congressman Patrick's final rule is about the social life of Wash ington. He says it costs money.