Evening star., 1941-09-03

tiVity. T h oSe ss7-% -
who know about MeLemors.
such things say that her ankles be-
long with the hanging gardens OF
Babylon and her calves with the
leaning tower of Pisa as wonders
OF the world.
Mr.. Morton used admirable dis
cretion in announcing that Miss
Dietrich's legs had been drafted for
defense. He only said: THE Gov
eminent could use Miss Dietrichs
legs"
1t was left for us to wonder to
just what Use they would be put.
A reasonable guess is that they will
be draped in cotton, linen, organdie,
burlap, Isle, canvas, muslin and all
of the other materials not high on
the priority list, then photographed
and shown to the women of America
to prove that legs can look nice in
anything, and that silk stockings
were Just old-fashioned Japanese
propaganda.
e
II this Is Mr.. Morton's idea, all
can say is that he is wasting his own
and Miss Dietrich's time. There is
a much simpler and more effective
way Of popularizing substitutes for
silk stockings. All Mr.. Morton has
to do Is to appeal to the natural
vanity Of the average woman.
Suppose he gave story like this
to the newspapers:
THE o. P. M. announced today
that despite the need for silk for
defense work, officials have decided
that all American women who felt
that their legs were so unattractive
that they needed silk hosiery to
enhance them, would be allowed to
buy all Of the silk stockings they
wanted. Only those women who
feel that their legs are passably
attractive will be required to wear
the silk substitutes. The women
themselves will be allowed to judge
their legs. There will be no ques-
tioning of their decision"
What do you think would be the
result Of such an announcement?
I'll only give you one guess, Mr..
Morton.
You couldn't sell a pair Of silk
stocking If you gave away a bowl
Of goldfish with them. Automatic
ally. silk stockings would disappear
in this country.
There isn't an American woman
who would admit, by pulling on silk
stockings, that her legs were so bad
that they deserved especial help
from the Government of the
United States. Give any gal two
legs she could stand on, and she'd
dress EN- up in Isle, sackcloth or
what have you. Before she'd wear
silk, with its announcement that
her legs weren't quite up to stand
ard, she'd stay home and make
catty remarks about her friends
who were so vain they wouldn't ask
the Government for a pair of silk
stockings.
The more I think about Miss
Dietrich's legs being plastered on
billboards and in advertisements,
the more know that Mr.. Morton's
campaign is going to do more harm
than good. Their beauty is going
TO make nearly all of the women
in this country dissatisfied with
cotton stockings. They are bound
TO figure that they need silk hose
to even approach looking as we'll as
Miss Dietrich does in the ersatz
numbers.
At the moment Mr.. Murton's
scheme seems to have been blocked
by bit of sabotage. Simultane-
ously with the drafting of her legs
by the Government Miss Dietrich
tripped over toy fire engine and
suffered a fractured ankle. 1t is
to be hoped that the r. 3. I. wasted
little time in launching an investi-
cation 10 determine whether her
accident was natural fall or was
due to plot by agents Of foreign
government, bent on thwarting
the hmb-lease bill.
My guess is that Miss Dietrich
was a victim Of sinister agents of
the Gestapo.
Get Dietrich, get Dietrich" the
word probably went out from the
secret police headquarters in the
Wilhelmstrasse Even if you have
to sit through her last picture, The
Flame of New Orleans"
Naturally, I hope that Miss Diet
rich and her legs recover quickly
from the Nazi machine with which
they came into contact. But at the
same time I hope, even more fer
vently, that this country isn't in
such bad shape that it couldn't pull
through, even II Miss Dietrich
never is able to pose for Mr.. Morton
and his candid camera.
distributed by McNaught Syndicate. Ine.l