Evening star., 1941-08-29

a i &&& I could, and tell
McLemore. you of my expe-
rienCes. It would have been
swell idea for a literary cat who
had a typewriter and nine lives,
but 1t is playing havoc with the
one and only life have.
Since l made my foolish decision
I have tried light tanks, heavy tanks,
parachutes, jeeps, peeps, bombers
and other assorted mobile torture
chambers. look and feel so poorly
as a result that old women volun-
teer to help me across streets and
octogenarians rise to offer me their
seats on buses.
My distintegration was furthered
gins Boat Co. here arranged for me
to ride on Lake Pontchartrain in the
newest model torpedo boat which the
company is building for the navies
of this country and Britain.
A torpedo boat, in case you haven't
one around your house. is so feet
long, is propelled by three motors
that pack total of 2,700 horsepower,
mounts four 2l-inch torpedo tubes
and four 50-calibre machine guns.
and travels between so and so miles
per hour, no matter the condition OF
the sea.
The speed and maneuverability Of
the torpedo boat are supposed to
be its chief protection against enemy
ships and aircraft. But after riding
on one I am positive that there Is
another and more important de-
fensive factor curiosity. The
chances are that enemy sailors and
enemy pilots would become so fas-
cinated in watching the occupants Of
torpedo boat try to keep from being
thrown overheard, that they would
forget to shoot. I can readily imag-
Inc an enemy bomber pilot turning
to his gunner and saying: I'll lay
you 10 to l those guys can't stick on
that boat five minutes longer. Why
waste our ammunition when they
are bound to be thrown off sooner or
later?"
I was out on the lake on the tor
pedo boat (which will be headed for
England within two days for about
an hour. The boat wasn't min
utes from the dock when I knew
that if ever get to Heaven that it
will be Jonah who will listen to me,
and not I who will listen to Jonah,
when we curl up on a cloud and
start reminiscing.
The torpedo boat can spot any
whale weeks practice and lick him
all hollow in marine tricks. It's
the sort of boat you could 60 fishing
/ in and not bother to carry any
tackle. You could simply run down
the fish and yank them in with your
hands. or course, they'd get sea-
sick after a few minutes on board,
but they'd have company.
Only a few days ago the torpedo
boats were put through maneuvers
here and dive bombers tried to hit
them with bombs. Not real bombs.
of course, but ones filled with flour
that fell at the same speed of ex-
plosive bombs. Swooping lower than
they ever could have if the torpedo
boat gunners had been whacking at
them with machine gun fle-the
bombers came as low as $50 feet
they didn't score hit. They found
hitting a torpedo boat was tanta-
mount to hitting a minnow with an
air rife.
On my ride we would skim across
the top of the waves, the motors
creating an unbelievable roar, and
then make dead right or left hand
turns. 1t takes quite boat to ac-
complish this bit of marine sleight-
of-hand. One second you're going
this way, and the next you are going
that way. And the crew, save for
the engine room men, are on deck
A fiat deck, too, with only thin
steel line to hang on to. All this at
top speed.
Life may begin at 40 on land, but
it starts to end Tor so it seemed to
me- at 40 m.p.h. on torpedo boat.
No attention is paid to waves, you
hit EN- on the chin, you hit EN-
from behind, you run along between
them The boat seems to challenge
the ocean; seems to say 'if you can
take it kid. can"
They told me after the ride, as
I sat down to a lunch of Mother
sill's pills. that a man eventually
gets adjusted to riding on torpedo
boat; that the machine gunners
fire with amazing accuracy and that
the torpedo men manage to score hit
after hit.
never will know if they're telling
the truth because not even a presi-
Dental order could get me back
aboard one. 1t is no place for a
man whose muscles are living on
memories.
Distributed by McNausht Syndicate. IncJ