The Waterbury Democrat., 1941-02-15

rank of government employees have nothing to do with salary or the civil service classification, either. They are determined by the luxur- ies with which guy is surrounded by paternal government that wants to make sure its help is done right by. And it's amazing how even the most starry-eyed idealist can stand luxury once it's handed to him at no personal cost.
 MIR. SHOWERBATH
 OUTRANKS MIR. WASHSTAND
 The very top ranking ultra-ultras have private dining rooms in their office suites. The secretaries of wal and navy don't have 'ern, but prac- tically all other cabinet offices are equipped for private meal serving even though some of the cabinet officers eat now and then from g tray brought right to their desk. The food comes up from the department tai cafeteria kitchens which are now necessary part of every scattered government office building.
 These private dining rooms car be justified from the taxpayers viewpoint by arguing that they save the government money and time If a big shot wants to have a con ference at luncheon with other big shots, it's unnecessary to go up tc some hotel and waste three hours doing 1t.
 The second and the incest dis tinction related to the difference ill deference accorded a guy who has an office shower bath and a guy who just has a private toilet and wash stand. It would take careful research to determine just how these matters of convenience and necessity are as- signed, but MT. Showerbath is defi- nitely superior to a MT. T. and Washstand, and the wife of the lat ter should always give the first nod to the wife of the former. It also proves that civilization is, after all, a matter of plumbing.
 In the fourth category of this complex Washington social scheme comes the guy with fireplace in his office. It doesn't necessarily have to burn wood or be even gas log or electric warmer. Just so you're assigned to an office with a built-in fireplace, not an imitation, then you know you're coming along.
 LIMOUSINES z6
 DIME A DOZEN
 The fifth rank should probably be delineated as including all those who have sofas s-davenports - in their working offices. These are aS- signed for the comfort of visitors who should be put at ease, but If the little MT. Big who is the proud possessor of a government sofa wants to go in conference, lock the door, and sneak a little nap to re- store him after arduous duties, all he has to do is tell his secretary to tell everyone else that he's out.
 Carpets on the office floor prob- ably distinguish rank six, although it has been somewhat of a question as to whether the carpet-on-the- floor people rank above the two and- three telephones-on-th -the-desk peo- pie. Three telephone people natur- ally come before two telephone peo- pie. but two-telephones-and-push button official could elbow his way into any gathering of ree-telephone society and not be thrown out for social climbing.
 The annunciator and 1oudspeaker gadgets, by which an official and his secretary in separate offices can converse without getting out of their chairs, have been creeping into the social scheme, but like all nou- veau riche ideas, they haven't been generally accepted and their status as shields in the blue book of her. aldry will have to be figured out later.
 The limousine set in Washington is likely to fool you. There are more limousines in Washington than any other city on earth, but the catch is that a lot of them are for hire. You can tell them by spotting the s I1lClI 4ACCAADC RAeAVSg ~AAS - SS~~>~S% ing for Sightseers. All government limousines bear on their doors the seal of their particular department to which they are assigned. and there are plenty of them. All the fuss raised when the then Post master General Brown demanded a limousine high enough to accomo- date his silk hat in Hoover's ad- ministration, wouldn't be noticed now. And some of the most sur prising people do show up on Wash ington streets, in government cars, with chauffeurs, who wait while the boss goes in for lunch.
 Most celebrated case of 8 man not being able to take all his luxury was Supreme Court Justice Murphy, who moved into the off1ce intended for his secretary, and left his own sumptuous office space regally empty like a Victorian parlor, to be dusted but never used.