The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1941-04-03

The space this week is gladly giver
over to Robert H. Gamble, editor OF
the Northern Valley Tribune of Tena-
fly, N j., who, in one-act play, shows
his ability to get over an idea much
better than l, and since there will be
no local people involved, with whole
lot less trouble to me.
Hitting in a good-natured way at
the many publicity requests of the
people of his community, Mr.. Gamble
devoted page of his paper to the play
which he named 81 Am the Publicity
Chairman" or "why the editor is
driven crazy"
The Play
ENTER MRS. WACKY: Ga typical
clubwoman); Are you the editor ?
Well, Pm so pleased to know you. I'm
Mrs. Wacky of the So-and-So Club.
They've asked me to handle the pub
licity for the play they are giving on
July l, and of course while | love to
write | haven't much time this week.
You know we Wackys come by jour
nalism naturally. Somebody in my
family always has been a writer. Why
my grandfather once had a three-line
poem published in the Police Gazette.
So, | want to ask you if you won't
run my articles just exactly as I've
written them. Really, don't think
you could improve on them. Now let's
see, your paper will be out three more
times before our play is given. That's
fine. Will you use this same story for
the next three weeks?
EDITOR: Pm sorry, Mrs. Wacky,
but we obviously couldn't run the
same story word for word three
straight issues. Would you want to
read the same story about the council
meeting for three consecutive weeks {?
MRS. WACKY: No, but that's diff
ferent. Well, of course, if you don't
want to cooperate I'll simply have to
tell our members and they'll stop buy
ing your paper. Now another thing |
would like to have you use this on
the front page at the top right hand
corner in as big type as you have and
| also would like you to use exactly
the same headline which | have
written.
EDITOR: But, Mrs. Wacky, we
can't promise you any particular spot
in the paper. The town might burn
down tonight and that certainly would
be more important front page news
than the story about your club play.
Now as for the headlines, while it is
awfully nice of you to write a head
line for us, you see that is an art in
itself. Every word in a headline must
be counted like in crossword puzzle
and each line has maximum count
depending on the size of type we
specify for any particular head. Now
we will try our best to t s.
MRS. WACKY: Well, it looks to me
like you just refuse to cooperate. You
won't run my story as | have written
it for the next three issues, you re-
fuse to use my own original headline
and you won't promise to use it on the
front page. Say, I've never had this
kind of trouble before with any news
paper, including the New York Times.
You don't :" % 81
Telephone rings)
EDITOR: Hello, hello. Yes. Who +?
Oh, yes. Mrs. Numbskull. Well, |
can't promise to use it on the front
page, but I'll see what can be done.
Yes, I'll take it down. Go ahead. Yes
Yes =. Yes =. Yes E. editor
spends 20 minutes taking down notes
over the telephone). Yes, l have it all.
Read it back? Well, we don't take it
down word for word, Mrs Numbskull.
We just take notes and then write our
story.
MRS. NUMBSKULL: Well, l think
that is terrible. Here spend hours of
my time writing a perfectly good
story and then you tell me you're 60
ing to write it in your own words.
Well, I've never had this trouble be-
fore and have been a reader of your
paper for % years. Goodby.
ENTER CRABFACE: Good morn
ing. Are you the Editor? Well, I'm
Mrs. Crabface and | have been APP
pointed publicity chairman for the
Ladies Cream Cheese Circle and
have a story here about little affair
we gave.
EDITOR (scans story: But, Mrs.
Crabface, this happened three weeks
ago. | think it is little too old to
publish now
MRS. CRABFACE: Yes, l know
but you see l just, couldn't get around
to writing it any sooner. Can't you
run it anyway? What difference does
it make?
EDITOR: Well, we try to run up to
date news; after all, this is supposed
to be newspaper Now you wouldn't
like to read story about a murder
which happened three weeks ago
would you?
MRS. CRABFACE: l never reac
murder stories anyway. Now look
sir, if you don't want to cooperate
then just say so. I'm going to leave
this article here and remember if il
is not in this week then We'll all can
! eel our subscriptions. Good day, Mr.
Editor EXIT
Telephone rings)
EDITOR: Hello, hello. Yes. Wher
is the play?
VOICE: Well, we haven't set thu
date yet, but just put an announce
ment in that we are giving it.
EDITOR: Where will the play BE-
given?
VOICE: We don't know that yet
either, just say it will be given.
EDITOR: What is the name of thu
play?
VOICE: We aren't sure until W.
meet a few more times and talk i
over, but you can say that it either
will be comedy, drama or musical.
EDITOR: Can you tell me how =
VOICE: Say, do you think | have
nothing else to do but sit here ant
answer lot of silly questions? Nov