Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1941-05-11
How 10 Cure
Bad-Mannered
Youngsters


We'll, first of all show them that
consider individuals who entitled both courtesy
and consideration Dorothy f Bradbury of the Iowa
Child Welfare Research Station at the University of Iowa
Unfortunately many parents who ordinarily good
hammered quite dscourteous their children
In certain home the young of the house
into the living greet family friend that he
had not for time. Before he could speak his
mother remarked Really Bill, you look mess Couldn't
you combed your first? Bill flushed with
barrassmen spoke hastily to the visitor and then quickly
left the room.
Would Bills mother have made a similar remark if
of her friends had dropped in with a shiny
nose? Most certainly not She would have thought it
uncalled for. Yet she considered such remarks
legitimate methods to with her son." Miss Bradbury
says and points out why discipline shotsghted fails
to accomplish what 1t sets out to do.
In the last analysis says this psychologist parents
determine whether the child's will be
good bad indifferent for children great mitaors
Children will be polite if the parents polite to them
they hear politeness constantly in their homes
Thus if a parent wants his child to say thank you"
when given something he only needs to be and
thank you to the child such occasions Similarly it,
when the parent bumps into the child nerferes with
doing says excuse me-" he will hear
his child doing the thing In social else
where, Miss Bradbury believes should depend
upon example and imitation than words of command
Should youngster forget his manners, it is better
to ignore it, least temporarily the parent scods the
child he will make the of good manners unpleasant
duty instead of pleasant activity Above everything else
good manners should be spontaneous
Thus points out Miss Bradbury, scoldng child for
awcEardness the table only makes him awkward
Remarks such Why don't your fork correctly?
Mrs Brown. does your boy have such terrible table
Bruce has? think he gets every day" do
not help in the acquisition of good table In
such should ask ourselves if it important
for the child have good the table to be
cheerful and sweettempered while eating.
All of would agree continues this authority that
there is undoubtedly advantage to child in having
training social usages. Yet the other hand
all know children great
emphasis conventional manners at early age.
No eight year-od boy be made into cavalier and
most of dislike the prim little maid whose
too perfect for a child of her age. We have
comfortable feeling that perhaps something of normal
childish sponaneity has been sacrificed self
conscious perfection adult should
sacrifice the honesty and spontaneous frendness
of child for artificial manners that be shown off
to advantage
But suppose a parent feels that he give the
child constructive help specific usage?
It should by all be given when he alone with
child avoid embarrassment. parent help
sructivey he says Y noticed lunch today nicely
you have learned handle your knife
work hard to learn that didn't you? Now think you
need to Try and the way in which you soup
It's done this way Even adoescent child apprc-
cate that such training will help him adjust a
and with less embarrassment
Above all our training should be such as to make
children feel at social situations Miss Bradbury
concludes This is accomplished best by teaching social
conventions early and N natural way possible
Acting the theory that correct social
real sefcomposure mother of four children evolved
plan for party" every Friday afternooI-to help
children develop social pose and courtesy At first the
mother was the hostess greeting each child and
ing and leading in conversation Later she guest
honor the children took being host
once having achieved the social usages required
given situation, the child should be given
them. If boy never attends dinner party where
the best service is employed until he a high
school, will develop the desired grace such
situations Similarly girl who does not learn dance
until she sophomore in college is always running
Of being walflower. Social customs cannot be
learned in vacuum
In our attempt incucate good manners as parents
often destroy the absence of sefconsous-
ness that above al We should
-frrf
consideration for other people important than
n1src conventional nnlIt1ncass.