Evening star., 1941-03-23

So, you kiss the nap good-by and add another
to the long list of those you hope never to see
again.
Then there is the couple who always leave
at midnight but go only as far as the front
door - it's practically impossible to actually
get them out of the house. Along about
twelve the husband looks at his watch and,
in a voice filled with surprise, announces:
Twelve o'clock! Come on. grille have an
early appointment"
You quickly rush to the coat closet to help
speed the parting guests. Oh, yeah, that's
what you think There stands the front door,
heavy and silent eager to be flung open to
the sounds of happy laughter and merry
good nights. But it S no dice - these two are
threshold-crazyi They may not be much fun
in the dining or living room, but as their last
moments approach, they insist on telling
everything.
Front-FioH FiEbvsfer
! HE wife has found new beauty parlor and
she describes in vivid detail their method of
giving permanent - it's revolutionary and
promises to do for straight hair what Eli
Whitney did for cotton They take the hair
and rinse it in vinegar before heating it in
the irons, then they add pinch of salt,
spoonful of whale oil and hang the whole
thing up to dry, including the woman. This
monologue is good for about ten minutes
Now's your chance! You sidle over to the
front door and fling it open.
well, good night. Shall we see you soon?"
Don't be silly! You are going to see them
right now - and for about another two hours
They haven't begun to leave. The husband
now closes the front door and says:
Say, did tell you about the fishing trip
we are going on? It's new lake - is only
been fished in by Indians, and you know how
rarely Indians fish,"
You say, Yes, isn't it strange that Indians
fish so rarely? guess is because they don't
want to get their papooses wet"
This has no meaning but it distracts their
attention and gives you chance to syly open
the front door with your foot. This time they
don't bother to close the door. Why should
tney! Iney nave tl1elI COdlS Oil dliu dIc ihCc
and warm In fact, the cold night air feels
kind of good to MIR. and Mrs. Izaak Walton.
Mrs. Izaak Walton now proceeds to tell you
about new recipe for salmon salad that she
tripped over while disemboweling horsehair
sofa in the attic. This takes fifteen minutes.
The hall is now full of wide assortment of
bugs, beetles and night-fying insects that
have been attracted to the vestibule by the
burning light. Around two O'Clock the Wal
tons begin to run down and, after few more
rounds of farewells you finally hustle them
through the front door.
The reluctant thresholders have a running
mate in the man who stands up every twenty
minutes as though about to depart. Each
time he rises, you jump up hopefully and
point like a setter toward the coat closet.
But you are jumping in vain - this jack-n-
the-box isn't leaving for hours! He has what
is known as bantsabhobia. This is disease
that has baff1ed tailors and psychologists for
centuries and can only be cured in the early
stages, or what is known in the trade as the
short-pants period. The disease manifests
itself in complete inability to control the
movement of the trouser legs as they creep