The Waterbury Democrat., 1941-09-10
(Reg. U. 2. Pat. ofs.) By HARRY FERGUSON
(UnlteA Press Sports Edltor'

Limited Press Sports Editer)
 New York, sept. lo.-(UP)-There has been just enough football played this year to make it clear already that the spectators are In for their toughest season.
 There are new peril9 added to the old ones that heset the courageous citizens who fights his way Into a concrete horseshoe on Saturday aft- ernoon.
 Some of the old ones that have made wrecks out of football fans are: (a) Wet feet leading to in. AuenEa: (b) The danger of concus- sion when some over-enthuSiaEtic undergraduate hurlS an empty bot. tie (soda pop, of course) just as alma mater scores the winning touchdown; (c) Losing your girl or your wife in the crowd and spend- ing the next week in the doghouse: (D Finding somebody else's girl or wife in the crowd and getting a sock in the nose from her escort.
 This year the rules have been changed and now 1t Is possible to substitute Q player any time the coach feels the tide of battle calls for It. The result will be that young men will be running from the side lines to the playing fields and vice versa in squads, platocns and bat tallong, It also means that football games will last on and on and there will be so much whistle blowing that the customers will think they have been confined in Q large canary cage.
 The first attempt to cope with the crisis was made by the people who run the Rose Bowl game. They an- nounced that the contest, which I have nicknamed "The California ClaSsic," will start IS minutes earlier than usual to allow for the extra time consumed by players saying: "scasiaweraletcs or Unialotowicz ct left tackle"
 Fifteen minutesl Poohl
 It won't be nearly enough time. What coach will be able to resist sending In Q new quarterback for every play when his team Is 10 yards from pay dirt and the alumni asso- ciation wolves are beginning to howl because he got only e scoreless tie with Kingfish Normal the previous Saturday?
 Whole teams will be taken out of the game en masse and cheer lead- CTS will be racing up and down goading the spectators into giving the traditional yell for a departing player. Like, Come on folks, a short locomotive now for zipursky, Sacogaksa, Thuringer, Blatavich, Lukargo, Denneviski, Koarag. Uni- teor, Kasukusci, Smith and Petro- vinovach."
 Twilight will mean nothing to the ofncials. When darkness arrives in the middle of the third period, the football will be szneared with phos- phorus and the game will continue. Yale undergraduates will take Vas- sar girls to the Harvard game, fall in love. get married, quarrel and get 6 divorce before the final whistle blows.
 Hawkers will pass through the stands selling razorS and shaving soap so the male spectator will not have boards when they find their way out of the stadium by fiashlight and get back home three weeks later. Some games will last so long that freshmen will turn into sopho- mores and suddenly become eligible for the varsity, giving the coaches 70 more men to use as substitutes
 Let us proceed. brethren, in the same spirit in which our forefatheTs conquered the west. Let us sit on icy concrete for hour after unoom~ nIaiuins hour. NezHnnd, pl0ueeNsl