davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1941-11-24

taking your eyes from that
lad"
For answer. I sent the CUR
along the floor toward him, but
did not see where II landed
Good work." he said. Now,
will you back toward me. and
when you get alongside Of me
= put your hand I'm my left
trousers pocket and take out
key ring? There's nothing he
tween you and me, 80 if you're
careful. you won't slip. And
YOU know what to do with Your
eyes and your trigger finger.
Here, you. Keep your head
down on that floor! II he 80
much as wiggles an car again,
Madge, let him have IT."
CANISTER COWED
The command gave me a dis
tlnct sinking feeling az the pit o.
my stomach. But il proved
effective with the PROSTATE gang
ster. He appeared 10 be trying
TO burrow his head into the wooC
of the floor as l backed toward
Harry.
Ranged alongside Harry
Evening star., 1941-04-06

So they at the end could say, each
mothers son,
The war is done and won't
And now once again to fighting
British men,
The chorus rings We're pals again
Your fate and our fate, are the
worlds fate today,
Take heart as we start, sending guns
on the way,
Our two lands forever, when war
and hatred are gone,
So, Glory, Glory Hallelujah. we'll
sing as we go marching on"
Trip to Pan-America.
A musical skit depicting hemis-
pherical cordiality took former
Postmaster General James A. Farley
and Vice President Wallace, acting
as Interpreter, to spot somewhere
in Pan-America. Mr.. Farley's
mission was tWo-fold, first to pro-
mote well known soft drink and
second to raise money to purchase
the New York Yankee baseball team.
Prominent in the brilliantly cos
toned group in the Latin n-American
plaza was a disturbed character
named Herman the German, who
found his efforts at economic pene-
tration utterly defeated by the
visiting North Americans.
To the tune of Begin the
Beguine" an aide to the village
alcalde sang:
Whatever 1t is Jim Farley is
selling
We're eager to buy. desire is yelling
If all this seems strange, you're out
of date
You don't understand the new
economics
Your old world ideas belong in the
comics
We used to distrust all Yankee
endeavor
And we used to think they had no
heart
Now here We are swearing to love
forever"
This met with an enthusiastic
response from the townsfolk who in
chorus responded:
1--WE want to begin right now to
begin"
Badge of Diplomacy.
An American diplomat irritated
Mr.. Farley at the outset by display
ing a champagne bottle. Rebuked,
he apologized:
Ever since George Earle went to
Bulgaria this bottle is the badge of
diplomacy"
Farley dismissed diplomacy, say
ing: With my brains and Henry
Wallace's Spanish, We will peddle
our own canoe"
With the refrain orchids in the
Evening star., 1941-04-06

Moonlight" Wallace promised, in a
mixture Of Spanish and English,
wholehearted assurance of generous
loans from the United States to its
southern neighbors.
After distributing samples of his
soft drink, Farley intrigued the in
terest of the Latin Americans with
a huge blueprint of the Yankee
Stadium. The alcalde was willing TO
buy if the price was high enough,
whereupon Farley offered a sug-
gestion of 100000, but the enthusi-
astic alcalde insisted upon the
original $4,000 as the price. Dis
mayed by Farley's salesmanship,
Herman, the German, vainly en-
deavored to counterattack by giving
away free Italian cheese with the
beer he offered for sale. Neverthe-
less, the villagers sang:
Here he's got Pilsner and with it he
gives free cheese,
But what is Pilsner against these
gen'rous Yankees?
And as for Muenchner, we say, Oh
no, if you please,
I think that I'll
Have some Coca Cola, yes, and
make it tall;
I'll have some Coco-Cola-
No beer at ALL"
With the price for the Yankees
finally fixed at $4,000 900, it was
necessary to telephone Jesse Jones,
administrator Of Federal loan
agencies, for his approval. The tele-
phone call to Washington revealed
that Mr.. Jones was celebrating his
67th birthday by attending the Grid
iron dinner. When he was located
at the head table he was greeted
with rousing chorus of Happy
birthday to you" and this question:
How about borrowing s10,000,-
OOO?"
Gives $5O,O0O,OO0.
20. X" replied the cabinet men,
ber. This is my birthday, and if
it's for my friends, the Latin Ameri-
cans, we'll give EN- s50000, ,000."
The skit closed with jubilation by
the Latin Americans and utter rout
for Herman, the German, as Wal
lace and the Latin Americans sang:
There's nothing else to do
We're in the same canoe
So here's my hand to you
For veal or woe.
Now let us give a cheer
For our own hemisphere
And none of us need fear
A foreign foe"
Music for the dinner was fur
nished, as usual, by the United States
Marine Corps orchestra, led by Capt.
William F. Santelmann.
In the musical skit marking the
welding of the two political parties
into one, Mr.. and Mrs. G. o. P
and Miss Democracy Jointly re-
ceived guests to a Farewell to the
TWo-Party System" Mrs. High Tar
if, Mrs. Gold Standard, Mrs. Econ
omy and Mrs. Isolation were dressed
in handsome evening gowns, while
Mr.. G. o. P. was costumed much
like the cartoons of the Mark Hanna
Evening star., 1941-04-06

the voice that launched q thousand
ships" Miss Democracy then sang:
20 when hear you speak
So eloquently,
l hear rhapsody
And when at Hitler you
May laundering be,
Then loud through the star-nt
blue
I hear a rhapsody
Our days are so swift,
So much to do,
And yet we spend time
st'ning to you
Perhaps it's just as well
That this thing should be
That even through shot and shell,
l hear a rhapsody!
Here Wendell Willkie and Harry
Hopkins entered, both in trench
coats and helmets. Willkie was
dishevelled and Hopkins developed
that the former Republican presi-
Dental candidate was suffering from
political shellShock.
Mrs. G. o. P. ard Miss Democracy
recalled to Willkie their former as
sociations with him.
We're all here together saying
farewell to the tWo-party system:
Doesn't that help you to remember,
Willkie?" queried Hopkins
Sure, I remember It all comes
back to me now" Willkie plaintively
answered and then sang:
TT all comes backs to me NOW
was a refugee
Till Winston said TO me
My pal -
1t all comes back to me NOW
Continued on Page A-20O
Evening star., 1941-04-06

Washington today than in 1914
and with better, but less spectacular
intentions.
Britannia rules the waves-with
difficulty, and America valves the
rules-with ease"
Referring to the two most dis
tinguished guests, President Roose-
welt and Vice President Wallace,
Mr.. Brayman said:
"On my right sits the man who
came to dinner-and we welcome
him warmly.
"On my left sits the man who
went to lunch-and that just about
ties it
Ends on Serious Note.
Concluding on a more serious
note, he declared:
Here in America the lights are
still lit; here We help to carry the
torch: here the Gridiron shines;
here democracy lives.
Gentlemen, it is a pleasure to
welcome you here in this last major
capital of the world where we may
gather together around the bowl
and the table and laugh with and
at each other. AS long as the
Gridiron shines. let no one tell you
that there is not freedom of speech
and freedom of the press in
America. AS long as the Gridiron
shines let no one deny that the
basic liberty of Americans lives.
And so let us celebrate it tonight.
Long life to it. Thumbs up. There1l
always be an England. TherelI al
ways be democracy in America be-
cause we know how to use our lib
ertv in unity.
The Gridiron shines. but it never
burns. 1t gives kindly light, and
laughs only at those we love-"
Jibes at Passes.
AS the dinner opened, the current
situation in Washington when news
papermen are bedizened with special
passes for admission to Government
buildings came in for jibes in a skit
which included Gridrion actors rep
resenting Stephen Early, the presi-
Dental press secretary, and Lowell
Mellett, director of governmental in
formation. Mr.. Mellett. one of the
anonymous" special assistants to
President Roosevelt, was in charac-
ter and remained silent throughout
the act, but Mr.. Early assured news
papermen that there would be no
censorship so long as they printed
Evening star., 1941-04-06

period. A stiff and formal butler
admitted the various guests as they
entered.
After all the guests arrived, the
butler remarked in a Saturnine tone:
"All in Madam-and I mean all in" ="
To the tune of wedding Bells
are Breaking Up that Old Gang of
Mine" Representative Martin, chair
man of the Republican National
Committee, appropriately sang:
What a lonely hill it is for me;
Things are not right in the G.. o. P
I see all my friends, when the roll
call ends,
Voting for the program of F. D.
Almost no one in the cloak room
Wants to hold the party line;
That lease-lend bill has busted up
That old gang of mine
All the boys look TO the White
House
Waiting for the o. K. sign.
That lease-lend bill has busted up
That Old gang of mine.
There goes Lodge; Wadsworth's s
gone,
And McNary, too.
Now and then we meet again,
Not as we used to do.
Gee, I get lonesome feeling
When I hear the roll-call chime
That lease-lend bill has busted up
That old gang of mine
Franklin and Wendell certainly
have come closely together" re-
marked Mr.. G.. o. P.
Only Voices Differ.
They're so close, you can't tell
them apart except by their voices, 4"
replied Mrs. G. o. P.
Alluding to that wonderful voice
Evening star., 1941-04-06
Skefehing Gridiron
Activities Is Old Stuff
In Bergman S Life
Stur's Dean Of Daily
Cortoonists Draws Event
For the 44th Year

There are but a few more records
In the field of newspaper cartooning
for Clifford <. Bergman to set, but
here's another one, just to help fill
the book. The sketches of last
nights Gridiron Club festivities in
today's Star mark the 44th year he
has caught the clubs festivities in
pictorial fern.
That doesn't mean a simple total
of 86 Gridiron cartoons, at two a
year, for when Mr.. Bergman began
doing his stunt, the club was having
three dinners year. So he figures
he has characterized at least 90
dinners.
The sketches are just little some
thing he dashes off twice a year,
however; they have no connection
with the daily cartoon that has ap-
peared in The Star so long it has
made him easily the dean of Ameri-
can daily cartoonists. With one pen
tied behind him he still would be
the dean. With the ink pot dry he
still would get out a cartoon some
how.
Birthday Just Calls for Work.
Mr.. Bergman had a simple birth
Gay celebration the other day. too,
in addition to the anniversary of
the Gridiron pictures. The BIRTH
Gay celebration consisted mainly in
going to his office in The Star Build
ing and drawing another cartoon.
His always ruddy face was lust a
little more flushed, and his hanging
artists tie swung little more vigor-
ously IN the breeze. And that was
the only way most people knew it
was his birthday. The ends of the
tie almost swung back over his
shoulders as he dashed out to a
olnner OF the Oldest Inhabitants,
Where he was honored.
NOV, here's little secret about
the Gridiron pictures, told in cold
type, for the benefit of literally
hundreds who don't for the life
of themselves understand how Mr.
Bergman draws all those pictures
at the party and then gets to church
by 10 o'clock the next morning.
OF course, he doesn't draw them
at the dinner. He draws them a
day and a half or two days in ad-
vance.
He Sits In at Rehearsals.
He is in at all the rehearsals. and
80 he knows what's going to be
the program. He has the script
and he knows, of course, what
everybody of importance looks like
anyway.
He was having big chuckle over
the half-completed sketch the other
day when the author of this piece
tried to find a place to sit down
among the priceless litter in his
studio. He liked the skit about
Justice Frankfurter and the uni
forms the Gridiron Club put on the
man who played the part. Mr..
Bergman decided to draw him as
Admiral Frankfurter because an
admiral's headgear Is so distinc-
tive.
He also liked the floating cigar
cite act. with the picture of Secre-
tary Perkins. For him, drawing
Secretary Perkins is as easy as fall
ing off the Labor Department Build
Evening star., 1941-04-06

ing's steps. Everybody recognizes
her.
Willkie Also Is Easy.
Shell-shocked Wendell Willkie
was easy, too. Mr.. Bergman just
put tin hat on him, and put on
his face the same look that must
have been there late at night last
November S.
But the Bergman cartoons never
really hurt anybody, daily or spe-
cial. Somebody has said he has
been cartooning so long his work
would cover the walls of the Capitol,
and that's about what they do Just
as sure as member of Congress is
gently ribbed in the front page car
toon. the victim telephones and
wants the original for his Office wall.
And, he always gets 1t. Sometimes
there is a scramble when several
people are in the same cartoon and
all want it. Then it's first come,
first served
Drawing Is His First Love.
There wouldn't be any room for
the pictures today II the entire
Bergman career were reviewed.
Columns could be written on that
little bear, an invention that could
have made him a million if he had
wanted to bother with a copyright.
But he didn't bother He just went
on drawing cartoons, which he
thinks is more fun than anything
else
Woodrow Wilson once told Mr.
Bergman he believed he had the
best job in Washington. The two
kept meeting on the golf course
and President Wilson said, in about
these words:
II can't play as much golf as I
want to, or Congress would start
bowling about it think you have
the best job in Washington"
Evening star., 1941-04-06

Anything we will let you print"
and wore badges giving their great
grandmothers' maiden names.
Skeptically, the chorus answered:
eve know the New Deals publicity's
the best there Is to get
"We know the press has always been
the Teachers special pet
"Wen print the news regardless of
official wrath and ire;
20, yeah, there1l be no censorship,
just listen to the choir"
The choir whistles.
Paul Revere Rushes In.
The close cooperation of the
United States and Great Britain was
shown in colorful act, introduced
by an old couple in the living room
of an American home. The time was
about 1860, permitting the pair to
look back to the year ITS AID. and
peer into the future to "1776, H. r.,
the lease-lend bill
Paul Revere rushed in to song,
Here Come the British, Bang,
Bang"
Paul Revere he took a ride,
Just to look around the countryside,
All at once his horse got skittish.
Here come the British, bang, bang.
Washington at Valley Forge.
Tried to cross the river, look out
George!
All at once his boat got skittish.
Here come the British, bang, bang,
OH!
"Just look around wherere you peer,
Whoa!
You'll find that the British are here,
And so in nineteen forty-one,
British are invading Washington.
Can't you hear the people cheering?
No longer skittish, welcome the
British,
Here come the British, bang, bang"
A chorus, divided evenly between
the Blue Coats of the American
Revolution and the Red Coats of
the British of that period. directed
alternate choruses, the Blue Coats
saying:
yankee Doodle. says thumbs up,
And may we please remind you,
We hope you'll beat the enemy.
We're heart and soul behind YOU"
The Red Goats replied:
Yankee Doodle, thank you, but
We're in tough position,
We've got the heart, we've got the
men,
But we need ammunition.
And then the Blue Coats:
Yankee Doodle goes to town
To help his British cousins,
He'll send 'em ships and guns and
shells
And bombers by the dozen"
The Blue and the Red then Joined
in ringing chorus:
Yankee Doodle. here we 60.
That's all we need to beat 'eni,
Your factories, our r. A. F.
Together we'll defeat them"
A new day in freedoms crusade
was shown by solo:
II see red and blue, marching two
by two,
In my dream of the great crusade
I see you and me, on the land and
sea,
In world to be better made
Men who fought one another,
United as brother,
All ancient rivalries now fade,
For the sons of Runnymede,
Are freedom-lovin breed,
That's the way with the great cru
SADIE"
The act closed with an announce
ment that one epoch follows another
to bridge the gap "all the way from
1776 to IT'S and solo to the tune
of Your Land and My Land:
American boys went out in seven
teen
To lands they'd never seen
To join with the British boys across
the sea
To stand with them for victory
Evening star., 1941-04-06
Gridiron
Continued From First Page J

Continued From First Page)
said in the traditional speech in
the dark:
Here in this Capital of America
there is still music in the air as
we 60 swiftly along, united behind
our irresistible, voiced Orpheus
and our hoarse, tousle-haired Gull
liver with the $4,000 throat"
He recalled:
There are more Englishmen in
Evening star., 1941-05-14
Fairfax Red Cross Seeks
First Aid Instructors
Special DISPATCH to The Star.

Special Dispatch to The Star.
FAIRFAX, Va, May 14.-An ap-
peal for volunteers to train as in
structors of first aid for the ex-
panded service of the Fairfax Coun-
ty Chapter of the American Red
Cross, beginning this fall, has been
made by chapter officials. Persons
interested have been asked to COM
municate with Harold F. Weller,
principal of Franklin-Sherman
School, Mclean.
Meanwhile, several classes have
been started in first-aid training.
Evening classes for adults in the
standard and advanced courses were
begun at Mclean last week and en-
rollments still are being accepted for
the classes. Albert E. Gorham,
member of the Mclean Volunteer
Fire Department, Rescue squad, Is
in charge of the work.
Ben Hess of Vienna is instruct
ing an advanced and standard course
at Falls Church.
Also at Falls Church group OF
II colored persons have finished a
standard course under the direction
of DR.. T. Edward Cox of Washington.
1t is planned to offer junior and
standard courses to all seventh and
eighth grade pupils in Fairfax Coun-
tv public schools, it has been an
nounced by Mrs Charming M. Boil
ton, ir., publicity chairman for the
county Red Cross chapter.
Evening star., 1941-05-14
Entertainment Sought
For Nearby Comps

The District Defense Council to-
day broadcast a city-wide appeal
for entertainment talent interested
in volunteering plays. variety shows
and the like at nearby Army camps.
Special additions will be held
Thursday at 7 pm. in the Depart
ment of Agriculture Auditorium, un-
der the direction of j. Beryl Law
less, drama director
A spokesman said all interested
persons were urged to appear at the
auditorium, bringing their script or
material with them. A piano ac-
companist. however, will be provided.
Evening star., 1941-05-14
D. A. R. Unit Will Dedicate
Marker al BeaII's Grave

The Brig. Gen. Rein Beall Chap.
ter, D. A. r., Of Laurel. Md, will
dedicate a Revolutionary War sol.
dier's marker on the grave Of Gen
Beall on the farm of william Spick.
nall, near Beltsville, Saturday al
2:30 pm.
Mrs. William Ingersoll, chapter
historian, will have charge of the
program, which will be presided over
by Mrs. G.. w. S. Musgrave, regent
of the chapter. Mrs. George Hamil-
ton Stapp of Baltimore, Maryland
State D. A. r. regent, and other
State officials are expected to at
tend the ceremony.
The Key West citizen. [volume] (Key West, Fla.) 1879-current, 1941-06-16
SOUTH FLORIDA HOSPITAL

Failure of the legislature to provide
for the establishment of hospital for the
insane in south Florida, although not unex
pected, was disappointment to many per-
sons in this section who had hoped the pro-
iect finally would meet with success this
year.
ssaapa Conditions at Chatahoochee have been
1.-The subject of SO many expose stories in Flo
frida newspapers that it would be useless to
go into it again-but we are safe at least
in saying that conditions there certainly
are not those under which you would expect
a mentally or physically sick person to
grow any better.
Crowded to the doors with more than
1000 patients, Chatahoochee under no pos
sible set of conditions could give the proper
treatment to those who are treated there
On that subject, Hospital Superintendent
Therrell told the legislature facilities could
be improved to handle present needs if
1915, 600 were made available for improve
ment, but he did not claim that any more
patients could be Accommodated.
Meanwhile, south Florida officers
have contended for years that the counties
in the Chatahoochee section use the hos
pital as "poor farm, avoiding the neces-
sty for county care of the sick and INDECENT,
and crowding the establishment to point
where those from other sections could not
get in.
Moreover, Key West has personal in
telest in the south Florida hospital, because
this county is the farthest point in the state
from the present establishment.
It is 700 miles from here to Chatahoo-
chez The county thus pays expenses for one
or two men on 1,400-mile round trip every
time patient is taken to the asylum, which
is just about the distance from Miami to
New York.
The legislature's next session is long
way off, but it is to be hoped the next time
will find advocates of the hospital in south
Florida ready for action.
The Key West citizen. [volume] (Key West, Fla.) 1879-current, 1941-06-16
WE MUST AVOID INITIATION

The people of the United States are
beginning to wonder whether expenditures
necessitated by the defense program will
result in inflationary prices and thus carry
us to another pinnacle from which we will
inevitably descend into another depression.
1t may be said at the beginning that
the first requisite for another depression is
period of initiation. Consequently, respon-
sible economic experts, in and out of the
Government, are agreed that steps should
be taken to prevent advancing prices which
will eliminate in wild orgy of buying.
With the increased tempo of defense
spending, the people of the United States
certain that as industrial plants are turned
from normal production into the production
of defense materials, the shortage of goods
may become pronounced.
Given more money and fewer goods,
it is certain that prices will go up as pros
pective buyers bid against each other for
decreasing supplies. This would be the case
in any free economy. Consequently, the
Government is almost compelled to take
steps to limit the buying power of the pub
lie
As we understand it, and we admit
that we do not know too much about it, this
can be done in several ways. One is to set
price upon goods and commodities. An
other way is to provide heavy taxation in
order to drain off excess purchasing power.
This end is also accomplished by persuad-
ing the people to invest in Government
bonds for defense financing.
The British Government recently at
tempted to inaugurate new system of con-
troll. 1t provided heavy income taxes. which
included plan for compulsory saving.
Thus, a man who paid $1Ss year in taxes
was given credit of S4s. which sum
of the war ~
Ek This plan has several advantages, in
Guiding the absorption Of excess purchasing
power during the emergency and an auto
matte provision for savings account TO
cushion postwar decreases in the income
Of individuals. II may be copied in this
country.
We hope the people of the United
States viii be smart enough to encourage
the Government to take repetition of the
initiation orgy which developed in the
United States during the last war. The re-
NEEDY may seem TO be harsh now but it will
be easy il ii enables the nation to avoid
disastrous depression after the deferse ef-
fort is unnecessary.
The Key West citizen. [volume] (Key West, Fla.) 1879-current, 1941-06-16

A United States of Europe declared by
Hitler to be in the making was the great de-
sire of Aristide BRAND. the no less great for
mer premier of France. What could not be
accomplished by peaceful means may be
accomplished through the ruthlessness of
war. but still we have our doubts that gen
orally satisfactory denouement will result.
Otherwise we are mistaken in Hitler In
the light of past events we believe that the
olive branch extended by one hand has a
stiletto in the other.