Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1941-05-29
.KeepPrivate
Affairs in
Reserve
Friends Must Not
Regard This as
Dishonesty
By Emily Post.


A situation which involves a very
nice distinction between proper re-
serve and untruthfulness resolves
itself into a question of point Of
view. The description is given in
this letter:
Considering the scarcity Of
money these days, I wonder
whether I might be allowed to wear
my deceased mothers diamond
engagement ring. My fiance can't
afford to buy me one now, and
as I have diamond of my own I
have never worn mothers ring. She
died many years ago so I doubt If
any one would recognize the ring
as having been hers"
If were you, I would have my
fiance give me a little guard ring to
wear over my mothers ring. In this
way, you would have ring given
you by him on your finger, and at
the same time wear a ring for which
you have an equally deep sentiment.
You may perhaps explain to your
few intimate friends whom you care
for, but it is certainly unnecessary
and not even in good taste to take
every one into your intimate con-
fidence. The many curious who ask
"Oh, may I see your engagement
ring?" are politely answered by your
holding out your hand.
This situation is one which con-
Germs you alone, and your maneuver
is not an intent to deceive but
merely an instinct, as it were, to
shut the shutters upon your private
life. Were a girl TO ask others to
look at her ring, or TO boast OF what
her fiance gave her and show them
a diamond he had not given her,
this would be very different behavior
and would in fact be telling plain
lie.
Dear Mrs. Post: My cook, who has
been with me many years, wants me
to ask you whether it is not i'm
polite for my guests to sit at table
and eat the filling and leave her
extra special pastry? I tell her we
have to expect this in these diet
conscious days, but she cannot
believe that people would carry
their reducing diet lists to parties.
Answer can perfectly under
stand that it is disappointing to
you, as we'll as discouraging to her,
because pastry happens to be one of
my own cooks specialties. and calory
counting the conversational topic
of most of my friends. The only sug-
gestion I can offer is to follow my
own practice of never serving either
a vol-au-ent or pie or mille-feuille
or any other pastry when most of
those coming are likely to be on
diets. You might ask your cook to
remember that pastry.is the No. l
tabu on all diet lists!
Dear Mrs. Post: How can one
when the wedding is written up? I
am older than the man I'm marry
ing, considerably, and prefer not to
have the fact emphasized. But how
can we make sure it won't be?
Answer-Unless your marriage
happens to be news" and your ages
are Of definite interest to the public.
there is no reason why the reporters
should concern themselves about
this. The only thing know Off
you have reason to believe the press
will be interested-is to tell the
reporters "off the record" and ask
them to help you keep it out of
print. No people in the world are
more cooperative than the men
and women of the press-if you CO.
operate with them.
Dear Mrs. Post: My employer is
a doctor who thinks his signature
includes M. D. Accordingly, he signs
all letters John Smith, M. D. think
the M. D. unnecessary: in fact, per-
haps even bad form since I always
include this in the typewriter line
underneath his signature. Will you
write about this in your column so
I can show it to the doctor? He
wants to know the right way because
he spoke about it the other day
when he got letter signed without
the M. D. from another, doctor.
Answer-When his degree is type
written with his name under his
SIGNATURE or when his letterhead
gives complete information. his
signature should be John Smith,
plain and simple. In other words,
M D. is not an inseparable part of
his name in the way Junior would
be, but it is permissible to add it
when needed to give information.
If he were Junior" it would be this
way: John Smith, jr., M. D.