Evening star., 1941-12-09

During my sleepless hours l have
often pictured what went on after
the good mornings" were over, the
door closed and they got down to
business.
Here is a half-nlghtmarlsh idea
of the dream I have often had OF
the proceedings:
Salesman-Well, I've something
here I think you'll like. You oughta
buy Henry McLemore's column.
Editor-Henry McLemore? What's
he writing a column for? Never
heard of him.
Salesman-We-l! How are you
today? Hows the family? You're
looking great. I swear, J. B, the
years haven't changed you a bit.
Editor-Say, what does McLemore
write about?
alesman-Listen. I can answer
that. He really has a range OF sub
iocts. He writes about dogs, oen-
lists, Ickes, autumn leaves. hair
cuts. how to carve a turkey, Christ
mas presents, Mrs. Roose-.
Editor-Yeah, but does he ever
touch on the world situation? Does
he know there is a war going on?
Sslesman-Does he? Man, he
lets fly all the time about Germany.
China. Dakar, Turkey, Italy, the
-Four Freedoms, Harry Hopkins and
the Iraq oil fields.
Editor-Is that so? Does he
write with authority?
SaIesman-J. B., OF boy, hear
your golf game is in the low o0'5 nov.
Some one was telling me on the way
up here that you we're hitting that
ball right on the green. Well have
to have game sometime.
Editor-Where did this McLemore
or McElmore or McLemmer get all
his information all of sudden?
Salesman-J. B.. how's that grown
boy of yours coming along? The
last time I heard of him he was a
freshman at Amherst. Smart boy,
that kid. Lots of promise.
Editor-He's a junior now and
doing all right. Averaging Bs. But
does McLemore know the world sit
uation?
Salesman-J. B, swear he does.
He knocks off Japan one morning,
Goering the next and John L. Lewis
the day after that. If he doesn't
know what is going on then Mark
Sullivan, Dave Lawrence, Walter
Lippmann, Ralph Ingersol. Dorothy
Thompson and those other heavy
thinkers are doing him wrong.
Editor-You mean he reads al
those people every day?
Salesman-Reads 'em! Hell. n
memories 'em Not only that, h
doesn't miss a word of Mai. GeoFg
Fielding Eliot, Hanson Baldwin @
any of the military experts. HI
house is just mess of thumbtack!
maps and pilfered informa ton.
Editor-What about Ralph Inger
soil? Does he keep up on Ingersol
and all those interviews?
Salesman That's McLemore,s
meat. Just between the two of US
he is the only paid-up subscriber to
PM. McLemore has made up his
mind there will always be PM;
says he likes to watch the staff
support the administration on one
page and belt it because of It's labor
stand on the other.
Editorials he got feud?
SaleSman-A what?
Editor-A feud. All successful cola
umnists must have feud. Our
readers are nuts about reading how
this columnist doesn't like this COL
umnist, and all about how their
trouble started over scoop in 1913.
Salesman-No, he hasn't, J. B.
But he is looking for one. You buy
him and Ill promise that within two
months he will have picked on Dor
othy Dix and fused at her for tell
ing Lovelorn that she shouldn't have
kissed him goodnight, even though
she did know he had three children
in night school.
Editor-Okay, I'll take McLemore
for one-day trial.
Salesman-Thanks, j. B. You'll
never regret it-until you get his
copy