Evening star., 1941-07-14

y
Henry McLemore 1912 the owner
of an automobile, even though it be
one that dates back to carbide lamps
and isinglass windows, will be socked
an extra s. in taxes. This is the
same amount that will be asked Of
the owner of a yacht. even though
the yacht be 500 feet long, worth
million dollars in its stocking keel,
and be as modern as democracy S
alliance with Russia.
The Ways and Means Committee
recognizes no difference between a
| greyhound of the deep and fdo
| of the paVements. They are broth
ers under the new tax law, and so
are their owners.
| Now, for the first time. the COM
mon man has an official right 10 be
head man at a launching. No more
| will he have 10 just dream Of the
/ thrill Of breaking a bottle Of cham
payne, making a little dediCatory
/ speech, and then watching his
means of transportation move into
/ action. He can enjoy the thrill IN
christening of his automobile.
I arranged my launching today.
1t won't. of course, take place at
Newport or Bath, but az the used-car
D Ia- nF
149th street The car, popular
model five years old, but with fresh
paint, wire wheels. and two new
sun visors, has been mounted on
runway leading into the sea (of
traffic of Broadway.
The christening Will be done by
a niece whose father lent me the
money tat the usual low usuTy
rates of a relative, and she viii
use a bottle Of vintage vinegar
to smash across the radiator. As
! she smashes the drink against the
car the chocks under its back wheels
will be removed by the salesman
who peddled the car 10 me, and it
will coast gracefully backwards on
| its re-tread tires.
As soon as it hits the street
will take it on a maiden run up bv
/ the Yankee Stadium and see just
what it needs to make it completely
/ traffic-worthy.
/
Just as the owners Of yachts (Who
are now no better than US car
owners go in for blue caps, coats
with all sorts of brass buttons, and
rope-soled shoes, so have I invested
in a uniform BETTING the skipper
of a used car. Instead of the brass
buttoned coat I will affect linen
duster stitched by my wife, pair
of goggles, and a chiffon scarf, held
in place by pair of matching hat
pins.
I have already asked my friends
! to address me as Commodore. There
is no use in paying the same five
bucks that yacht owners 90 with
out getting some sort of title. I
plan to do a lot of cruising through
! the narroWs and shoals Of Wall
Street i'll order to make the &C
quaintance of other Sportsmen.
This recognition of the automo-
bilist as a rich sportsman will add
a new zip to life. All the common
place items of travel by car will
! take on a new glamor. The road
map, for example. With motorists
on the same plane as yachtsmen,
what motorist will be able to look
upon a road map as just a road
map? 1t will become a guide that
points the way over an uncharted
sea; clover leaf turns will become
hazardous sand bars; policemen will
gain the status Of lightships; the
children in the back or aft seat will
love their new position as seamen,
first class. and mama will blush with
pride over her title Of first mate,
even though the job calls for her to
take charge of repairing leaks or
| fiat tires.
Several critics of the Government
have found fault with the new tax,
pointing out there wasn't much
sense in taxing the average auto
mobile owner the same amount
man who could afford a yacht was
taxed. But they are dead wrong.
In taxing the Joneses the same as
| the Vanderbilts the Government has
| removed the last remnant Of class
distinction in this country.
About all the distinction Of that
sort left in this country was between
the yacht owners and the non-yacht
owners. Now that is gone. I think
it is a good thing. Five dollars is a
small price to pay for the privilege
| of driving your secondhand job
onto the dock of the smartest yacht
club and passing the time of day.
Already there is talk of a super
regatta for the common man.
Tentative plans call for it to be
called the Joad Family Regatta, and
to consist of beat to windward from
Oklahoma City to Bakersville, Calf.
| John Steinbeck will be asked to
| referee.
Crank her up, ma, and trim the
| windshield!