Newark leader. ([Newark, Ohio]) 1917-1946, 1941-09-11

3gRDllsl

uOIl hIlOW WHCIuCI AISii
Jones, alias Burbank the Second,
and life member of the Burling-
ton Liars club, wants US to give
out this information or not-but
being such a sociable sort of a
fellow | will take a chance on.
it. Ben went out in his garden
the other day and pulled three
of his Smallest" turnips-col-
lectively they weighed 10 pounds.
He still has Rambler roses in
bloom-but a two-pound tomato,
smooth as a billiard ball, and
blushing like a Delicious apple,
is perhaps the prize of the lot.
Amateur detective work reveals
that he pulled Burbank and
crossed a couple of tomatoe
vines to accomplish the trick.
Now it's question, Ben, whether
the hybrid will go on producing,
or revert back to type by reseed-
ing. Let us know next year,
will you?
I make errors. Someone has
said "that it is human to err" so
can take some solace in that.
feel still better about the Sit
uation when l find that Dickens
put new moon in the east in
the evening, and described how,
in the depth of winter, Mr..
Squeers set his unfortunate boys
hoeing turnips. Conan Doyle in
a Sherlock Holmes story made a
scheming lawyer draw up a will
in favor of himself - Charles
Holtsberry could tell you that
would be invalid. Defoe made
Robinson Crusoe fills his pock-
cts with biscuits while in state
of nudity (only a pocket gopher
or kangaroo could do that).
EUR coats is what is wrong
with America" a friend told us
recently. It's got so even the
wife of a mechanic must have
one. Then she must have what
goes with a fur coat, above and
below. Once a woman's got a
fur coat, he said, everything
scratches her skin except silk. A
fur coat makes her health poor.
She can't make the fire in the
morning, and he has to pack her
coffee to her in bed before going
to work. He ended by saying
rs per cent of the family trou-
BILE in America comes from fur
coats. I did not dare repeat the
foregoing to my little lady out at
the house, so this might work
but | doubt it.
If there is anything more hi
deous looking to be fished out of
Ohio waters than a 161a-in sal
amander or "Hellbender" we
would like to know what it could
be. A healthy specimen was turn
ed over to us by Larkin Younce
for safe keeping until it could be
delivered to Emerson l.. Fish
baugh to be used in his science
class in Lincoln school. We pre-
fer alligators and snakes to sal
amanders-at least of that size
and color, even if this particular
variety is rare. He is now pick
led as most Hellbenders are.
Paul Haynes, employed in the
Newark postoffice, had the mis-
fortune to lose a prize German
Shepherd dog while he was at
tending a recent convention IN
St. Louis, Mo. Leaving the
animal with friends it managed
to get out upon the highway
Labor Day, was struck by car
and killed. The pet, according
to Paul, was Is years old and
very friendly animal. Yes, it is
tough to lose a "man's best
friend"
Ben Jones again. Called me
up and said the Liars club was
still functioning and that a MEM
ber went shopping for a new
thermometer tube because the
section registering between 60
and 80 had worn out during the
the hot weather. However, Ben,
during the last few days it's the
section between 80 and 100 which
has worn thin on the one in the
Leader office. Do you suppose
we could have it patched instead
of installing a new tube?