The Waterbury Democrat., 1941-12-16

I walked Into the police station and signed up for duty as on air rait warden.
 When he was finished with th. finge er-priatins, case history anc such, he asked for Q gun,
 "A gunq" echoed the Sergeant Whats on air raid warden need Q gun for?"
 "oh, dear" he complained. 'You mean we don't get to sit on the rooi and shoot at those (deleted by the Editor ) 2222qm
 When they were casting "Cuckoos on the Hearth," m agent phoned Brock pemberton about placing one of his clients in the show and boaSted his man twas descended from Andrew Jackson on his lnoth- CTS side, from Q Vanderbilt on hss fathers side"
 "Never mind about his family" in- corrupted the producer, ''I want him for acting, not breeding"
 
 When Rene summoned the citi- Eens to the radio to listen to Eit- ler's address to the Reichstag, the Fascist announcer should have announced: Nov, Q few words from our sponsor"
 This is supposed to have hap- pened at Q literary tea, according to Nat Karson, given on the occa- sion of publishing book, now O beSt-seller. The writer's wife but tonholed the publisher and asked him: where's that pretty maid who was passing out cocktails"
 "Oh, m get you one," said the publisher politely, If you're look. ing for Q drink"
 Don't bother" replied the wife, I'm looking for my husband"
 ToklO broadCasteFs told their hoodwinked listeners not to be too surprised If even New York fell ... The city obliged the liars by immediately falling = oil over the local Japs.
 New York, like the rest os our towns is trying to figure out a way to warn tho people when the bombers come. Those who've met the bombers say very little warn. Ing iS needed = that the people catch on, They tell of Laurence Stalllngs' telegraphed warning to his colleagues in Ethiopia -- which they Savvied quick. Confetti com. ing," Stallings wired, "duek t."
 Fourteen spies working for the Na2EyS were convicted In Brook. lyn, on trial since Sept. 8. It's sup- posed to Do good tactics for law. yers to stretch out the trial, bet. terlng their clients chances for beating the rap. In this case the Strotch-out carried tho cases from peacetime to wartime, The yer. dict probably wouldn't have been different, but you'll never get the convicted fourteen to believe 1t.
 
  From "TFlal by FuFy," Craig Rlce's murder novel: Tier voice didn't have Q lisp but her wide eyes dld" . .. You know, flathing eyeth.
 The State Supreme Court ruled against c iegit theater barring a critic. The opinion was that any. body holding ticket has a right to 90 in and see the show !. We've always argued 1t wasn't the shows business to keep critics put -- but to keep them in. The valkout has ruined more shows than the lockout has helped. Clyde Hager relays the one about the little English boy, here with kin for "the duration" who liked b play without his coat or hat In the rain. You mustn't do hat" Scolded his American aunty, T had Q brother seven years old, who one day took his scooter out n the rain. He caught pneu. nonia and died three days later, You See?" "Rightol" exclaimed the kld, where's Is scootah?"
 | Chick York and Rose King, of | High Kickers," owns c flock of | prosperous oil wells In Texas Al leckler asked them why they Still read the boards when they have ! Ill that wealth.
 Because" Rose answered, 'you ant get applause from oil wellsl"