Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1941-05-04
Future
.In-Ldws
Have a Duty
By MRS. G. BEECKMAN
Authority on Good Manners and
Good Taste

Authority on Good Manners and
Good Taste
Distributed by King Features synd.. Inc.
IT'S quite right for etiquette
i to demand that the parents Of
the bridegroom to be must.
within "a hours after their son
has told them he has been ao-
cepted by The Girl and her
family, call on the bride-to-be
and her parents.
This immediate and polite bow
shows that they enthusiastically
welcome the young lady into
their family. If they live too
far away to make this call. they
should make this welcoming
visit by letter, and at once.
II illness or any other circum-
stance makes 1T impossible for
both the mother and father to
make this conventional call, the
mother must go alone.
Ignorance Sometimes
While most girls know that
this is the rule, or sense that
there must be some such rule,
many parents of young men
seem to have no idea that such
a required formahty exists. So,
unfortunately for all concerned,
they make no social move.
The girls happiness is nat
urally not complete until the
parents Of her f1ance give her
this measuring indication that
they welcome her as their future
daughter-in-law. She may be
unhappy and Inundated at the
omission Of this call. AS the days
and weeks go by without any
recognition of the engagement
by her fiance's family, the girl
and her parents become more
and more puzzled about what
can be done to break the social
deadlock,
Vague Ideas
Clouded wonderings arise In
their minds as to how they
should interpret this omission.
Is the lack of recognition of
the engagement due to the
parents ignorance of what they
should do? Or does it mean
that they disapprove of their
sons choice? 1t may indicate
that the fiance's parents are
unfriendly people. or that, not
being given to hospitality. they
are somewhat fearsome that this
first call will lead to later social
demands.
When It becomes completely
apparent that this social bow Is
not to be made by the fiance's
parents, I suggest that the girls
parents make a social move tc
start things moving in the right
direction. The girls mother, as
hostess Of the home, may, for
example, properly write a note
to the young mans mother
reading somewhat like this:
DEAR MRS. FOSTER,
1t would make us very happy
II you and your husband and
Bob would come in to have a
cup of tea with us next Sunday,
say about 5 o'clock. If this day
isn't convenient, will you name
a day when you can come To
us? We are looking forward
with great pleasure TO welcom-
ing you and your husband to
eur home.
Sincerely,
ELIZABETH FORD WELLS.
The mothers reply to this
gracious invitation will be an
index of her attitude toward
the engagement. An enthusi-
astic acceptance will mean that
all is well, and that the parents
just weren't aware that a well
coming visit is a must. If, un-
happily. the invitation is
regretted for the day specified
and no mention made of a future
free day, at least the fiancee and
her family have done all they
can do.
However, people being as gen.
orally friendly and pleasant as
they are, the chances are that
the invitation will be accepted
delightedly. and before the
family tea-party is over, there
will be a hospitable return in
Vitation.