Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1941-06-02

ss 3 worries Is the
# M fact that nv
-''e worrying worries
henrS me'em0fe' me. With the
world appearing to be going down.
hill as if mad Casey Jones were
at the cosmic throttle I get all mixed
up as to how to allot my worrying
so that none of the worlds troubles
will be sighted.
Only recently there was that
morning when I had an earachs
when Iraq betrayed Britain. Every
decent instinct told me that nv
earache was as nothing compared
TO 1raq, but I'll have to admit that
the trouble at Ebukemarl (see Rand
McNally vs.. Hitler PIP. 241-256. Vol,
- didn't worry me at all until hot
honey had crushed the revolt Ia
my tympanic cavity.
That will give you an idea of nv
problem. How is a fellow to tell
when world troubles supersede per-
sonal ones? There must be tens Of
thousands of unskilled Worriers in
the same boat as myself. We don't
want TO be selfish or unfeeling about
the thing, but we simply can't find
the line Of demarcation between,
say, Vlchy'S counting of France and
a pair OF shoes that are too tight.
Our hearts and our heads tell us
that the ruin of France is much
the more important, but our feet
tell us that shoes are. After all a
man can't go around barefooted
worrying about France.
Oh yes, a man can 90 around
oarefooted if he is sincere enough,
you may say. All right, let us carry
1t to that extreme. Then what han.
pens? A Frenchman steps on YOUR
pare feet in the subway and YOU
get so Internally mad at him that
you up and quit worrying about
France altogether. And that wouldn't
do.
1t would be fine if people were
able to ignore their own personal
troubles in contemplation of the
world much larger ones, but onlv
a few really great spirits are able
TO do this. The bulk of us are lust
carrying a double load-the worlds
new ones and our old ones.
Wouldn't it be helpful if the
Government set up Budget Your
Worries Bureau? At the head of
these bureaus. and there would be
one In each community. would be
a trained worrier to advise YOU on
how to proportion your worries. He
would have at his fingertips, in
addltlon to a manicurist, all the
average citizens problems and
could tell you at a glance how
much to fret about any given SUBJ
Ject in the light of today's inter.
national issues.
Every one would feel better at
night to know that a recognized
expert had okayed his Worrying.
L can imagine Mr.. Hightower cas-
ing back in his Morris chair with
sigh Of comfort and telling Mrs.
HlgntoWer tthe former Lucille
Schweppes) that he had had a
perfect day of worrying.
Game out just right" he would
say. Il finished worrying about the
burned out generator on the car
while shaving, and Juniors report
caro- before I was through break
last. polished off the bottleneck
conoltion in the airplane industry
on the way to work, and had all
morning to worry about my own
business. Got an awfullv good
break at lunch time. Jim was late
meeting me and that gave me Is
mlnutes-my exact quota-on the
Red Sea being closed. I sneaked in
my three-and-a-half minute allow
ance on the Dodgers losing lust
before closing time and on nv wav
home from the station, by walking
Slowly, I cleaned up Burton Wheeler.
The convoy mess, and the question
OF whether Rudolf Hess is a traitor
or Trojan horse. How did you
come ont darliOOo"
Not so we'll" Mrs. Hightover
might reply disappointedly. ct did
just as we'll as you did up to noon,
and was nearly through with Darlan
and Petain, when the dry cleaner
called to say he had lost two OF
your suits. You know, the brown
pin stripe and the dark blue. That
completely ruined my schedule for
the day. 1t took up all the time
1 had budgeted for priorities, Gen.
johnson not getting his reserve
commission. and how we can man.
age next years income tax. To.
morrow I'll have to go to the
bureau and get all straightened
out. I do hope he'll give me five
minutes for that slip I scorched
ironing this morning"
You'll have to excuse me, now.
Q q III hA p