Evening star., 1941-09-24


MeLemore. thing else you
can name will be taxed TO aid in
the Governments laudable effort
10 prove that this country has the
greatest unnatural resources in
the world.
I started my thrift campaign to-
day I don't feel bit unpatriotic
because the Government has asked
that every one be very thrifty, SO
it was with light and loyal heart
that I picked up the telephone and
asked the long distance operator
what the most expensive call was
that I could make.
After a little research she in
formed me that Iraq was the most
expensive place to call and that it
would cost me S3370 to call that
country.
What bargain! With long dis
tance calls to be taxed 10 per cent
after October l. it was simple
mathematics to figure out that I
| could save 1897 by calling Iraq
now and not waiting until October.
I called Iraq and had a mighty
nice lItle talk with some fellow
who answered the phone there.
But between you and me. he mur-
dered the Kings Iraqian because
I couldn't understand a word he
said.
No Secret Now.
However, 1897 is S337 and 7 can
use the money to meet some of the
other hidden taxes. Just why
they are called hidden" taxes is
hidden in Henry Morgenthaus
head, because they are published in
every paper and read over the ra-
dio and generally kept just about
as secret as roasted chicken in
delicatesSen window.
! AS a matter of fact, it would have
been nice gesture on the Govern
ments part to keep them secret.
AS 1t is a man can't turn his eyes
in any direction without seeing
/ something that has been taxed, and
| which serves as an unpleasant re-
| minder that the Treasury Depart
ment is omnipresent. II is some
thing like the Chinese water torture.
! A man gets his midnight snack
( out Of taxed iceboX. with a taxed
light over his head, listens to rec
ord on taxed phonograph. reads
the paper concerning more taxes
through taxed optical equipment.
plays a game of solitaire with taxed
cards, lights a cigarette with taxed
matches and finally. completely
overtaxed, falls asleep wondering If
/ Great Britain. China, Russia, Po-
land. Norway zecho-Slovakia and
Jugoslavia fully appreciate what he
is doing for them.
Ceiling Needed.
There are several taxes in the new
bill which are bound to increase the
respect of Americans for their Gov
eminent. One of these is the per
cent that will be tackled on night
club bills. This is proof positive
that our Representatives and Sem
ators have not been frittering away
their time in the lairs of crooners,
torch singers, rhumba bands and
Paf a or al
who has even been stuck with a
night club bill would want it to be
raised. What a night club bill
needs is a ceiling, not an increase.
Present prices in hot spots are such
that a quiet. conservative couple
can't go in one and practice up on
their bunny-hugging and Virginia
reel for less than enough to keep a
Russian in mustache cups for year
No one is going to fuss over the
$50 tax that has been plastered on
the slot machine The slot machine
falls into the same category as the
second-story worker, the smash
and-grab bandit, and the Stickup
man. 1t isn't quite as sporting as
these criminals, in fact, because the
slot machine wears a steel vest just
to be on the safe side. The original
proposition was to put a $3.50 tax on
these mechanical highwaymen, but
as recall it a distinguished Senator
defended them as a vital and neces-
sary part of American life The
Senator must have hit a jackpot
once, something that only few lv-
ing Americans have ever done. The
average slot machine is geared to
pay off only on McKinley's birthday
and the anniversary of the found
ing of tree surgery. On the other
1863 days of the year it represents a
savings bank for the owner.
But why discuss taxes any more?
Before you know it the Government
will catch on and put tax on dis
cussionS about taxes.
| Distributed by McNaught Syndicate Inc)
r<Vt