Evening star., 1941-06-25

they are doing
&ass ssl 1s& is playing the
Henry MeLemore. juvenile game Of
cowboy and Indian on the grandest
and most expensive scale in history.
Honestly, there have been times
down here in the past few DAYS
when I have been tempted 10 write
mamma to root my old cowboy suit
out of the attic and send it to me
so I would feel at home in this
gigantic land of make believe
*
Heaven knows, I'm no military au-
thority. Practically all I know about
it is how TO put pincer movement
on mint julep. tactic I learned
when l became a Kentucky colonel
in Louisville However. I know
enough to realize that you can't
simulate warfare. 1t is like trying
to scare people with ghost story
between halves Of football game
With my own eyes, and not
through roSe-Colored glasses bor-
rowed from the officers in charge
Of the current sham battle, I have
seen things which convinced me
that, on the whole. the maneuvers
are as worthless as the Confederate
money some of the natives Of these
parts are still trying 10 spend.
True. maneuvers condition SOL
diers by exposing them to a hard
and rugged outdoor life, but why go
to the tremendous expense of trans
porting soldiers from such points as
Michigan, New York and Georgia
where the woods are just as deep.
the night just as black and the
rain just as wet as they are in Ten
/ nessee?
Not even Gen. Marshall, wearing
the Milky Way in addition TO his
regular four stars. could ever con-
vince me that maneuvers teach the
men anything about real battle.
In the first place. they have no
conception Of what they are trying
| to do in any particular battle They
| just leap from hill to hill like so
. many khaki goats 1t is a wonder
TO me that the observation planes
| of the air force are able TO navigate
in the dense fog that must rise from
their nogginS. I ran across thou
sands of them on the field of battle
and hundreds of them rose courage.
ously from the bushes to yell at me
Hey, press, how's the battle
going? Which sides Vinning?"
saw tanks plunge reeklessly
through almost impenetrable woods
TO come suddenly to a halt while
the assistant driver carefully opened
a COW pasture gate in order to avoid
damaging personal property. This
meticulous procedure was often
watched by the enemy" sometimes
no more than IS yards away.
Then, when the gate was closed
and the tanks charged again. the
damnedest argument would set in.
The enemy" would claim the
tanks were out of commission. hav-
ing been destroyed while the gate
was being opened.
The tank crews would say it wasn't
fair to shoot while they were OPEN
ing gates
Then they would all relax and
wait for an umpire to happen along
and the umpires sometimes don't
happen along for several hours.
No one minds being captured or
killed" in maneuver. The only
stigma is tag marked prisoner"
or casually" which the soldiers
wear jauntily. and which entities
them to as much as three days of
complete rest in the enemy" camp.
One umpire told me he had been
offered as high as $40 for casualty
or prisoner tag. The casualties get
just as much food as the prisoners
do.
How can soldier respect
klaxon warning that sends him to
cover to avoid enemy bombers when,
even as he crouches under trees and
bushes, orderlies wearing bright
green jackets go about the business
of setting up officers dining tables
in great clearing and set the
tables with shiny tableware that a
near-sighted bomber pilot could spot
from 1000 feet? This happens every
day in maneuvers.
Bridges are the source of great
argument in maneuvers. I have
seen soldiers all but come to blows
over whether or not a bridge had
been blown up, even as they stood
squarely on the bridge they are ar
guing about.
Maybe there is more to peacetime
maneuvers than l have seen after
having spent six days on the move
with the troops. If I have reader
(and rumor has trickled through
that I have one) who can convince
me that what the Army is doing in
Tennessee, and will do on an even
larger scale in Louisiana later in the
year is worth the expenditure of
millions Of dollars, I will award him
handsome prize.
He will get, parcel post prepaid a
complete Arbor Day set, with shovel
and trowel.
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