Evening star., 1941-10-22

Henry McLemOre. ureS were yank-
ed from sewing baskets and hus-
bands returning from work we're
astonished to be greeted al the door
by arms around the waist instead
OF arms around the neck.
Not one of us was given a sport
ing chance to pull our stomachs in
and hold our breath in a game ef-
fort to approximate the old waist
line we wore when We walked down
the church aisle
Only those rare physical freaks
with waistLnes Of 81 or under es-
capped the dead prOnouncement-
You go on a diet tomorrow
A man on a diet is no good to his
country. I'll go even further and
say that a man on a diet is no good
for anything. Lettuce and Waters
cress may make for large, healthy
rabbits. but show me single rab-
bit that has a good job is paying
of the mortgage on a home. and
meeting insurance premiums. You
can't do il. Neither can you name
me famous statesman, jurist,
financier. poet. nor musician VINO
owes his success to black coffee
and grapefruit as a starter for the
day. A reducing diet changes
mans entire life. To begin with,
he becomes complete and utter
bore. He is hungry all the time
so a good share Of his conversation
is devoted to food. He recalls old
steaks he ate in St. Louis in 1925.
he reminisces continually about
chocolate pies. hashed brown pe-
tatoes and spaghetti and neat balls.
When he isn't talking about food
he is either weighing himself or
showing you how his clothes don't
fit any more. There can't be many
duller sights than watching a man
fold his trousers over to show how
much weight he has lost. But for
some reason every man on a diet
thinks the slack in his trousers has
got it all over the Tai Mahal at
sunset or the Grand Canvon at
dawn. and that the way he can
pull his double-breasted coat al
most around him is sight TO make
you almost delirious with Joy.
Another thing that your dieter
does is to ask YOU to watch him step
on the scales. He considers this q
tremendous favor After the scales
show that he has list but six pounds
after claiming a 1O-pound loss, his
explanation is always the same. It's
his clothes. Then before you can
make a retreat he is of on a discus
sion of how much every garment he
has on weighs. The weights ne as
signs to some of the garments are
fantastic. Shoes 5 pounds Suit
pounds. Socks a pound. Tie half a
pound. Underwear ? pounds. You'd
swear you were standing in the
presence of one OF King ArthW;s
knights. wearing full armoT
Dieters are never content to Giet
alone. They want every one else 70
join them. Men who have been on
a diet for less than three days. and
who couldn't possibly have taken off
more than a pound or two. talk with
horror of how they used to feel in
the old days when they were over
weight. Let some one eat a potato
in their presence and they act as Il
the potato eater were dining on
something that came straight from
Lu Borgias sideboard.
1t is amazing how quickly the man
on a diet can master the calorv
table. 1t is equally amazing how
quickly he tries to teach it to every
one else. Without being asked ne
will tell YOU the calory content OF
everything from jerked buffalo meat
to one single raiSin.
In case you doubt any OF this let
me state that I am writing with
great authority. I was met with a
tape measure after the selectee
waistline measurement was pub
lished and have been on diet every
since 1 haven't lost in actual
pounds as much as I expected to.
but if I could just show the way M
clothes fit now and tell you how
much better I feel than before
started. I'm sure that any of you
who are overweight would diet too.
It's simply a matter of watching
your calories. I just got up and
weighed myself minute ago and if
didn't have on such heavy shoes
and such a heavy suit. Id weigh
darn near what I want to.