Evening star., 1941-08-09


phone number Of career diplomat
who could get me out of trouble
when I blabbed off at the wrong
time.
1t was pretty mean shock TO me,
not so long ago, when I realized that
unless 1 ran across an ambassadors
Job at a marked down fire sale, ].
didn't have a chance to represent
this country in an official way, My
honesty made me admit to myself
that this country just doesn't go in
for foreign representatives who have
to mail back monthly payments on
their cars.
Then came happy thought.
1t came after reading about this
country's good neighbor policy to- -
ward South America.
Perhaps, I figured. I could prove
myself so valuable in wooing Latin
American friendship that Washing
ton would be forced to accept me
as a frst-class diplomat. even
though my refrigerator wasn't
paid for
The first thing I did was 10 make
an exhaustive study of Just how this
country is going about gaining the
friendship of South America.
That didn't take very long. be-
cause this country's method is as
obvious as huckleberry in bowl
of cream. Then I started out 10 be
[ diplomat in my own small way,
patterning my approach exactly
after that of the Government, so
/ that officials in Washington could
not help but approve of my methods.
I chose a South American family
in my own neighborhood. a Mr and
Mrs. Carlos De Pampas, to work on.
7 had only nodding acquaintance
with them when I launched my
good neighbor policy. As a matter
of fact, had paid little attention
to them for years.
My first diplomatic act was to
write letter. II read,
Dearest Mr.. and Mrs. De PAM
pas: Although We have been neigh
bOrS for years, it has been only in
the past few months that I realized
how much I loved you and craved.
your friendship. Really, you don't
know how much I love you. Scarcely
a day goes by that don't say to my
wife what swell people the De PAM.
passes are, and how grand it would d,
be if We all got together. We know
you'll be delighted to know that We
have grown to love YOU Please feel
free to call on us to patronize you
at any time you want us to. Yours
for a bigger. happier and safer
North America"
Strangely enough the De Pampas
didn't answer this note of solid
good will and friendship. I heard
in roundabout way that De Pam
pas. after reading the note. said,
Who in the he'll is this guy, and
why should he be so interested in
me all of a sudden?"
OF course. this didn't stop me
from making the next step.
One night I just went over, un-
invited. and called on the De
PampaS family.
They were a little surprised but
they let me in, and I really went
to town. I praised their house, their
furniture, and everything I could
lay my eyes on. They had some old
friends in, but I showed them aside
and talked the most, and f1attered
the most, and tried to sell them on
the idea that, when we lived so
close together, it was q shame We
didn't see one another more often,
and that the fact we hadn't palled
around together more wasn't my
fault.
That thawed out the South Ameri-
cans little, and the next week.
still following the Governments
good neighbor policy, did the De
Pampas a real favor.
invited some of my close friends
to go over and pay them a visit.
I called the De Pampas family and
told them what break they we're
getting. The folks I was sending
over were really important. I MADE
it clear that l was doing them a
great favor, but that they weren't
to thank me for it.
A few nights ago I took the
South Americans out to dinner. 1
gave them the best of everything
and in order to be sure they real
lied this I showed them the check.
Well. you wouldn't believe what
finally happened.
The De Pampas family actually
got sick of my constant attention.
They told some friends that they
wished the he'll would quit faWn-
ing around, and come right out and
say what l was trying to get out
of them
That hurt me. but not as much as
what De Pampas did day or so
ago. He met me on the street and.
just when l was telling him what
great fellow he was, and asking
if there was anything I could do
for him, he up and asked me for
loan.
I couldn't believe my ears.
finally told him this:
Listen, De Pamp, OIL boy, would
like to let you have the 10 bucks.
but surely you must have something
around your house worth Is
dollars that I could have as Sc
curity. You know how much !
love you, and what you mean to me,
but lust because you have tbs