Evening star., 1941-12-24


the war has brought about.
scored a clean 100 points the other
night by finding something to be
grateful for in the paper shortage
that the emergency has brought on.
With a paper shortage existing,
explained. the paper towel and the
paper napkin are doomed. 1here
were shouts of hear, hear. Par
ticularly from the menfolks present
when mentioned the possible ex-
tinction of these blights on clvillza-
ton.
Consider the paper napkin, ana
while you're considering it slap It's
ppsky little face. What man mas
ever been able to keep a paper
napkin on his lap? 1t offers many
of the same problems that flying
kite does.
II is not heavy enough or well
trained enough to sit quietly on the
lap. Just when YOU get one balanced
on the lap someone opens ooor IN
another part of the house and the
slight draft sends it sailing across
the room. Paper napkins aren't
large enough TO tuck in. Resort 10
this inelegant measure and lus'
enough sticks above the beltline 10
look as if your undershirt were snow
inc
The paper napkins big brother.
the paper towel. is an American IN
vention that occupies the same
place in the esteem of the average
male that beriberi, malaria ana
visiting in-laws DO.
One of the major curses OF inc
paper towel is that 1t never mas
been standardized. Use a paper towel
in one place and a big sign saws
"rub-don't blot" So you rub until
YOU have enough lint on you 10
qualify as a rag-pickers helper.
Use a paper towel in another place
and a big sign warns "blot-oont
rub" Before you know 1t you get
confused and start blottlng when
YOU should rub and rubbing when
YOU should blot. and the upshot Is
a mess. None of the warning signs
are really worded right. What they
should say is blot or rub until your
patience is exhausted. Then get
out YOUR handkerchief and dry your
hands and face the best you can.'
There Is an item in the papers
today that you can use for the
time YOU play silver lining" 1t
I concerns fishhooks. Fishhooks now
rate as a military supply and there
/ is certain to be shortage OF them.
What blessing for those who don't
like to fish. Oh. you may say. there
aren't any people who don't like
to fish. You're wrong there,
brother. There are thousands of
people who have just been waiting
for an excuse to refuse to 60 fishing.
know it isn't considered manly to
admit that you don't like TO fish.
Americans are supposed TO love to
wear themselves out catching things
that swim. But there are those
who consider fishing not only next
to nothing. but nothing itself
Another blessing of the war is that
it has eliminated the horror Of the
income tax. Sure. know ii is going
to be dreadfully high. and that
man won't have much more than
enough to mail a postcard when
it is paid. but no one will mind pay
ing it. The tax will 60 into weapons
for the defeat of the Axis and that
makes laying it on the line pleas
ure. Next year no patriotic Amer
ican can look upon March IS except
as a day that affords him an OPP
portunity to make it tough on the
enemy.
The war has eliminated the neces-
sity of listening to isolationists and
interventionists argue by the hour.
There isn't any such thing as an
iSolationist now, and if you don't
think that is blessing then you
never went to an America First
rally or heard those former ivory
tower tenants on the radio Speak
ing along these lines the war really
made the Lone Eagle" lone didn't
It? That's another blessing
Yes sir. Silver lining is good
game Come around to the house
tomorrow and we'll play 1t. Don't
knock. just walk right in.