The Ely miner., 1941-03-27

they both speak already of a home
and children and seem to be ideally
suited to each other.
elise has not told villas viii
call him, of her early mistake. But
many of her friends know of it, for
the little crowd she was going with
in college days was quite free in its
attitude toward sex relationships and
it was recognized thing. I need
hardly say that / would have
stopped it had ! been with her, but
she had gone to western college
and it was only in summer vacation
that she took me into her confidence.
Must Confess Misstep.
The boy has married and is liv-
ing In a distant city. She knows
nothing of him now. But he has, or
had, letters of hers that cannot be
mistaken, and I feel strongly that
she should make clean breast of
the whole affair to VIII. She thinks
it would hurt and annoy him with
out altering his determination to
marry her. I must admit that he
worships her, making her his ideal
of womanhood, and that it would be
hard for her to tell him anything
that would lessen his admiration,
but it seems to me unsafe to GO
into marriage without clearing all
this up"
1t is unsafe. For these things
seem unimportant if Immediately
admitted, but more sinister with ev-
cry hour of married life. If Elise
had told her VIII of this early weak
ness almost as soon as she knew
that he was In earnest about marry
ing her, it would probably have
made small impression. The first
flush of falling in love with her
would have carried it away. But
now, with the wedding date set, it is
little more awkward. Still, even
now, her own only safety lies In
telling him everything.
say this not because / believe
this particular sin is any more Sc
rious for girl than for boy. Like
any other sin, regret for it, and a
determination to weed out that par
ticular weakness, atones for it. But
it is the one sin for which women
pay dear, and Elise may be COM
mitting herself to years of nervous
fear and expectation if she doesn't
own up and go on from there.
Safest Way.
If VIII loves her enough to forget
the whole thing, as he probably
does, then she can console herself
in the years to come with the knowl-
edge that he married her anyway.
Then if the early lover appears some
day, or blackmailing letter comes
from the early lovers wife, Elise is
on safe ground. Her husband knows
all about it, and nobody can frighten
her.
If VIII is shocked and reproachful
upon discovering that his goddess
has feet of clay, then he is some
thing of a prig, and perhaps Elise
will be more fortunate if she waits
for more generous mate.
'Well, then he ought to tell her
everything HE'S ever done!" the
girls write me angrily when I say
this. Certainly, if Elise wants to
hear the story. But she will find
that what is shame and suffering
to her sex is a matter of placid
boasting to the other, and she will
get so angry, just listening, that the
effect will be to make him more
pleased In his secret heart than ever
with his gallantries.
If nobody else knows this of a
girl, then my advice is for her to
keep her mouth shut, and regard the
long-ago fault as she does the tam
trums and thefts and lies Of nursery
days. But if the story may crop up
at any time then the only thing to do
is face the situation, relieve herself
once and for all of fear, and pay the
piper.
If she refuses, she viii pay more
bitterly later. Being false, whether
to oneself or to someone else, is
not worth the risk. Sooner or later
the piper comes for his pay. # later,
the cost will be much higher.