The potters herald. [volume] (East Liverpool, Ohio) 1899-1982, 1941-07-10
LEARNING TO MEET
DISAPPONTMENTS
VIOLA E. HOLLEY

"What can anyone do with a child
who insists upon pouting when she
cannot have her own way? asked a
mother.
"My children never pout," was the
reply. 'They slam doors and bang
their toys about instead"
There are other children who re-
spond still differently, but in each
case where we find a child showing
undesirable behavior because he can
not have his own way, it probably in
dicates that he needs help in learn
ing how to meet disappointments.
If we wish to help him, we must try
first of all to get his point of view as
nearly as we can. This will relieve
us Of any impatience and annoyance
that we may feel over the situation,
and we shall then be able to deal with
the problem more wisely than we 9TH
erwise could.
1t is natural for a child to want to
have his own way, to follow out his
own ideas and desires. To be sure,
we cannot allow him to satisfy his
every whim, but we should remember
that the child who is continually
thwarted will find life unnecessarily
hard. Under such conditions he is
not likely to develop into the self
reliant, joyous, resourceful child we
want him to be.
We must give him an opportunity
for the embodiment of his powers
through work and play suitable for
his age. To provide such an environ
ment requires considerable under
standing on the part of the parent
and is something for which we need
continually to strive. We may be
sure that the more adequately we do
provide for the child as he grows, the
fewere occasions there will be for
pouting, temper tantrums and other
undesirable forms of behavior.
There will be times, though, when
it is necessary to say "no," when it
would not be best for him, or those
about him, to let him have his own
way. These are the occasions which
we should use to help him learn how
to meet disappointments.
One mother, whose little boy haC
fallen into the habit of displaying i'll.
temper when he could not have what
he wanted, found it a help to keeE
three points in mind as she worked
for good habits.
She asked herself first Of all, Gust
how do l want him to behave when
have to say 'no'?" She was surprised
that she could not at once answer this
question. 1t seemed that she was sc
annoyed and troubled over his disa,
greeable behavior that she could not
think clearly about the matter. She
unreasonable to expect the child, who
was only eighteen months old, tc
know how to behave. She would be
obliged to have it clear first in hel
own mind before she could teach hin
to do better.
After thinking it over, she decided
that she wanted him to learn to be
cheerful even in the face Of disap
pointment and to be willing to turr
to something else when he was denieC
what he wanted.
The next step was to make clear tC
him what she expected. On the first
occasion that developed, she led hin
to sing with her, explaining to hin
that he was happy child and that {
happy child likes to sing. Always
after this, when she said no." to his
requests, she offered substitute, a
the same time setting him an example
of smiling good humor.
Lastly, she kept in mind that it re
quires patient and persistent practice
to build up a new habit. She did no
get discouraged because it took sew
eral weeks of such practice before ht
learned that he could be happy ever
when he could not have his own way
For these were weeks that showed
constant progress in freeing him from
ill-temper, and she knew they were
laying the foundation for a happ!
childhood.