Askov American. [volume] (Askov, Pine County, Minn.) 1914-current, 1941-12-18
RIDING THROUGH SPACE ON
A COMET
Editor Askov American:

| EulIOI <AShON <AAIiCAiSdii.
It was the year one million A. D.
I decided to run down from the Big
Dipper to the Little Dipper on a
short social call.
/ hailed passing meteor, which
served as our taxicabs, and told the
driver my desired destination-and
that 1 wanted to get back by supper.
He slipped her into high, then into
super-high and we went scooting
down the Milky Way like creased
lightning.
Now the traffic, while not con-
gested, is pretty heavy along that
route All kinds of vehicles are
hurting by. Some have headlights
and taillights. Some have only one
light burning, and a few have no
lights at all.
It's getting pretty dangerous travel
ing over this route, said the driver
so many bum headlights. Some are
entirely
"Hey, you! Get outta the way
there-if you don't want to git pull
verified"
This last remark was addressed to
black object about the size of a
mustard seed, which crossed just
ahead of us, and which we missed
by only the breadth of hair of the
Comets tail.
What was that? asked That, said
the driver, as he Unanswered the
clutch back into super-high, was a
little dingus of planet called the
earth.
I had heard of it and indicated my
interest. Well, he said, it has al
ways been a damned nuisance. Never
had any lights of its own-at least
not for long time. Always borrow
ing light-that is making use of the
light furnished by the suns, moons
and stars.
/ But that is really not so bad. A lot
of planets do that. But from some
cause or other it produced strange
kind of creature. He was called man.
1 think he took the name himself,
thinking it meant something i'm
portant.
For long time this creature went
about on all tours like any other ami
NAL. Then by and by he got to
standing on his hind feet. This
achievement went to his head Now
that would have been all right if
he'd a-had anything in his head.
Of course don't mean that he had
1 p1nf1,inn in, bic h4oI II IsI
something. He called it brains, but
brains is something you think with,
so that's out.
From the best we can find out his
brains consisted of only two cells.
One was egotism and the other was
destruction. Even the children used
to smash toys, and scratch and bite
one another.
True, this thing called man did
contrive some ingenious devices, but
he always denied they could be in
vented until after they had run over
him. Then he got up, brushed his
clothes, thumped his chest and said,
"See what I've invented.
But no sooner did he get a ma
chine than he started using it to
destroy other machines. 1t became
a race of seeing who could get up
machine that would most effectively
destroy other machines-and also the
most people.
Naturally when he invented ma
chine he had to get out and try it.
If he got up a machine which he
thought would destroy a continent
he'd have to test it out to see if it
could
Well, man simply went nuts on
destruction. All his efforts were de-
voted to destroying that which, usu-
ally by accident, he had produced.
You see producing things for use
was not in his catalog. He origi-
mated in state of poverty and power
ty froze in his psychological gears
so that he never could adjust HIM
self to plenty.
And so since man devoted all his
efforts at destruction and since his
machines of destruction became more
and more destructive, he finally sue
ceeded in eliminating himself from
off the earth.
Well, since then that little old dried
ball called the earth has been me-
andering around through space, Gre
ating traffic jams and causing con-
fusion generally.
But I'll fix it some day. I don't
want to side-swipe it. That might
scratch my tenders. But some day
when the way is clear I'm going to
head straight for it and pull her wide
open -.
Hello-here we are at the Little
Dipper. Say you want to get back
in time for supper? Well, we'd bet
ter start about four thirty-we may
run into that earth and be DELAYED
little-cleaning it off the windshield.
o. M. THOMSON.