Evening star., 1941-12-18
DONOt Treat
AdOlescent
ASaChild
Indirect Control,
Not Authority,
Best Method
By A Aneelo Pafri

Dy n HSetO utIt
The boys and girls Of high school
age are no longer to be treated as
children, directed at every step. kept
In the nursery stage, allowed no SELF
direction. They must be allowed to
feel responsible for themselves and
dependent only for advice and d.
rection when they cannot 60 ahead
on their own.
This is q difficult situation for
both parents and children. The
children, no longer childish but
adolescent, are not fully developed.
Nor are they evenly developed.
Worse yet, from the standpoint OF
their guardians, they do not grow
consistently.
One hour they act like mature
people, the next like helpless chill
dren. One hour they are bright,
active and aggressive, the next
heavy-footed, forgetful, peevish.
They are q mixture of strength and
weakness, knowledge and ignorance,
maturity and childishness. and 1t Is
our problem to guide them through
this stage without harm to them
selves or too much wear and tear
on Us. It Is no easy matter.
II Is hard for fathers and mothers
TO see the daughter they have tended
from infancy interested In boys,
dances, frats-all sorts Of fledgling
activities: They cannot understand
her affection for bizarre ornaments
and struggle In vain to persuade her
that her raincoat would look better
without the signatures of her ad-
mirers scrawled all over 1t. They
are shocked to discover that this
child can oppose their judgment,
shocked and a bit frightened, and
small wonder.
Yet this child (boy or girD must
grow up and he Is well on the way
to that goal by the time he reaches
high school. The training he re-
ceived in his early years, at home, in
elementary grades, is all that he
has now to go on. Against that
background he acts and will con-
tinue to act for the term Of his high
school years.
Nature wrests him from home and
parents, and nature has her way.
It is useless to forbid these young
people to dance with each other, to
organize societies, plan for parties
and entertainments that allow them
to see one another as often as posi-
BILE. It Is necessary for these young
people to learn how to live in the
adults world, how to get along with
people, how to work and play and
earn a place in the world. They
have these four years to do this and
We must help them to do it Sue
cessfully.
They need control. but it must
be indirect. They need freedom,
but 1t must be within limitations
set by their experience, character |
and tastes. They must have out |
side activities, but they must be
measured by their health. their
growth, their responsibility In
general.
Instead OF the old order Of obe-
dience the new order Of coopera-
ton must be admitted. Father and
mother and teacher become advisers
whose authority is used only in
emergency. If spirit Of co-opera-
tion, friendliness is established be-
tween the young people and their
guardians, the emergencies will be
few and leadership not too difficult.
The one great mistake we'll
meaning people make here is their
dependence upon their authority.
An adolescent boy or girl who lives
under authority will be stunted, de-
pendent and most unhappy. Under
q scheme OF cooperation they do
much better.