Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1941-03-10
Marriage
Advice Not
Appreciated
Attempt TO Help Cupid
Only Makes Trouble
BY DAMON RUNYON

nOh oiu man saiu oi'e 'niie
~ charming young lady by the
name of Miss Abigail Zuz came
TO him for advice on the subject
of marriage. She was being
courted by young man named
Clukey and also by Obadiah
Envelope. a I'D widower of
several years standing and twice
her age Our old man said she
asked him which one he thought
she should marry and that he
advised her to take Obey,
He said he told her that he
did not entirely agree with
Benjamin Franklins advice to
young men to marry widows,
but that he did think ii was an
excellent idea for young women
10 marry widowers. He said he
explained to her that il had
been his observation that second
wives had all the best of il be-
cause their husbands tried TO do
for them all the things they had
neglected to do for their first
wives.
Our old man said he told her
that a girl who caught fellow
who had been bereft of his help
meet after 10 to 20 years of
married life. became the bene-
ficiary of conscience payments
by the husband to the memory
of the first wife although our
old man said the husband was
not always really to blame for
inattention to the first wife. He
said as a rule a first marriage
comes in youth and fellow is.
out hustling around TO make a
living and is too busy to remem-
Der the little amenities of matri-
mony, such as taking the wife
places and buying her things.
LIE said that after a lapse of
III years, marriage became a
routine with the husband. and
he did not notice how hard the
wife worked at home or how
tired she looked, and in fact,
gave her presence scant consid-
GRAFTON until one day she up and
died, and then he got to remem-
bering her only too well. Our
old man said then the husband
began thinking of the things he
could have done and perhaps
meant TO do for her and was
downright conscience stricken,
so when he got married second
time he was generally always on
his toes trying to make up to
the second wife for his derelic-
tons in the case of the first.
He said he told Miss Zuz that he
had known Obadiah Envelope
long enough to feel that he was
that type and that she would be
missing a right good thing if she
failed to nail him.
So Miss ZuZ became Mrs. Oda-.
biah, but our old man said she
was around in two weeks COM
planning that the advice given
her was all wrong, especially
with reference to Obadiah TAX
ing her places and buying her
things. She said Obadiah was
about as loose as the post Of
flee foundations with his money
and that he was not conscience
stricken enough to keep her
from doing all the homework.
Our old man said the former
Miss Zuz was right put out and
wanted to know what he advised
now.
lie said he suddenly remem-
H bered that Obadiah inclined
bit toward spiritualism. so he
told Mrs. Obadiah to leave ev-
erything to him. Our old man
said then one night he dropped
in at the home of Mr.. and Mrs.
Obadiah and that he took with
him friend of his by the name
of Mrs. Toober who gave Seances
with a table and after a little
social chat he got her to call
up a few spirits and one of them
with the spirit of the first Mrs.
Obadiah.
Our old man said Mrs. Too
Der said this spirit wanted TO
talk with Obadiah and what the
spirit talked about was how it
suffered thinking of the way
Obadiah had neglected il in life
and how it hoped he was show
ing the second Mrs. Obadiah
every possible kindness and
spending plenty of money on
her. Our old man said he never
heard a more convincing spirit
than this one although Mrs
Toober did all the talking for il.
and Obadiah cried as if his heart
would break and he promised
the spirit he would do lust as
requested if it cost him the
$4,000 he had saved up and for
several months the second Mrs.
Obadiah had a wonderful time.
OUR old man said il would
" have gone on indefinitely but
one day Mrs Toober told one of
the neighborS that he had di-
rected her what - say at the
Seance and the ncighbor told
Obadiah and Obadiah shut down
on his generosity TO his second
wife until she was no better off
than the first one was. Our old
man then said Obadiah wanted
10 fight him for interfering with
his married life and the second
Mrs. Obadiah hated him for adj
ViSing her to marry Obadiah and