The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1941-02-13

ton upon some of his words. What
shall I do? It seems impossible to
hold him In these circumstances,
and yet my entire life is ruined if
let him go. I won't keep any man
beside me against his will, and yet
certainly won't let a woman of
that type triumph over me and rob
my children of a loved father"
Accept the Facts.
Here is Joan In 1871 thinking along
the lines of well, say 1870. OF
COURSE he is considering di-
vorce, and of COURSE you'll have
either to deny him that divorce, or
endure the real discomforts and
heartaches of separation.
That is the way of the world to-
day, Joan, and you might as well ac-
cept it. Any woman can try to lure
away any other woman's husband,
and any man can find plenty of
precedent and excuse for abandon
ing his wife and children and going
off with his new love.
Why not accept these facts, ana
lyze the possibilities, and build your
life along constructive rather than
passively helpless lines? Why not,
firstly, try to become an independ-
ent, busy, happy women WITHOUT
that marital love that has made
these years so pleasant, that dear
companionship that you thought
would be yours forever?
Build Own Life.
It is highly possible that if you
and the children develop a happy
full life of your own, making as few
demands as possible upon Dad, ask
ing few questions, he will begin to
perceive again the charm of the
home atmosphere. If he doesn't, Il
he begins to make life uncomforta-
BILE for you by demanding, pleading,
coaxing, praising you into divorce,
you still may follow the course that
I think its always advisable to follow.
I mean refuse him steadily, and pur-
sue your way regardless of the
storm. If he goes away, live as
normally as you can until he comes
back. If he refuses support, get
legal advice for help with the chill
dren's expenses, and get a job.
Don't gossip with your friends about
it; you'll gain immense prestige by
being charitably quiet and serene
until this sickness passes. For the
infatuation of man for second
woman is a sort of fever. It is a
feeling that is worth nothing unless
there may someday be put behind
it mutual trust, companionship,
home, friends, children. A divorced
woman who has won him away,
open-eyed, from his first home and
family, Is not usually willing or able
to supply these. She doesn't want to.
Her one hold upon him is the hold of
a temporary physical fascination,
and of all things In the world that
is the one that never lasts. The more
stable feeling of mutual affection
which must follow earlier infatua-
ton cannot come to them under the
Observation-Disclosures the wom-
an is not the type.
Patience the Solution.
So that if Joan viii only wait In
patience until the thing burns itself
out, she cannot lose. To say that
her pride won't allow that, that her
Harry must be punished, must be
taught bitter lesson, is only to
hurt herself In the end. She may
have the momentary satisfaction of
showing to the world just what
weakling he is, but after all, he's the
children's father, and to belittle him
belittles them.
OF course she'll never go back TO
the old confidence and love. But
then she wouldn't anyway, no mat
ter what the solution. But If she ac-
cepts the humiliation, the hurts, the
general unpleasantness of the mo-
ment, she viii win In the end.
As for being surprised at the situa-
ton, that only dates her. It almost
seems today as Il every woman
ought to take this possibility into
consideration when she marries; at
least such a thought would prepare
her for it if it is to come. The fear
full statistics are that it DOES come
u T.