Coulee City dispatch. [volume] (Coulee City, Wash.) 19??-19??, 1941-11-20
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LwNu Seryicel
Notes of an
Innocent Bystander:

The Story Tellers: The Sateve-
post is publishing so-called humor-
Gus stuff from Wodehouse, who
wrote it between ticks at Nazi boots.
Humor that comes out of that form
of environment doesn't make you
laugh. 1t makes you shiver . .
If you want a note of thanks from
your mind-let it drink Wilkes
smarticle in Readers Digest It's
common-sensational William
Allen Whites tug-at-the-hearticle In
the same issue is Unjust" too I'D.
James w. Barrett's exciting book,
"Joseph Pulitzer and His World"
quotes the great publisher as say
ing: Every reporter is a hope,
every editor is disappointment. "
The Confession of the Week: H.
Allen Smith in the Nov. Cosmopoli-
tan: "And talk about your gossip.
Why, we've raised gossip to
fine art in New York. We put it in
the papers and pay the experts
fabulous sums of money. And I
love it. I've always loved gossip.
So have you. Maybe you won't adj
NIT it. Maybe you'll say gossip is
not polite, not noble. But don't try
to tell me you stop up your ears or
run or hide in the cellar when some
one begins whispering about the
thing Joe Schwogie's wife did at
Fred Phlebby's party Saturday
night"
1t was Friday night.
Haw! Buddy Clarke of the Park
CentraPs Cocoanut Grove relays the
silly-dilly about the little boy who
was run over by steamroller while
playing in the street. He was fiat
tened like a pancake. A passerby
picked him up and brought him
to the child's mother on the third
floor.
"What is it?" she yelled in re-
Spouse to his knock.
"Your son." he replied, "he's
been run over by steamroller-
he's all fattened out!'
"Well," the mother grumbled,
"I'm not dressed. You'd better slip
him under the door"
Man about ToUn:
New York's Horatio Alger Jr.:
Marvin Schenck, the talent scout,
likes hamburgers. So the other
day, while munching on one in a
Sixth Avenue beanery, he noticed a
youth who impressed him as the
"most typical good-looking young
American" he had ever seen E.
The chaps clothes indicated he
could use a job Schenck in
troduced himself and took him to
MGM's Broadway offices, where a
producer ejaculated: ''That's the
handsomest guy in New York and
Hollywood" After an ordinary
camera test, it was rushed to the
Coast Magnate Mayer of MGM
telephoned and ordered "the new
find" rushed West On Friday,
then, Jim Wittlig, foot 4 nephew
of Uncle Sam (who only the other
day was hunting for job on Sixth
Avenue) will be riding in class out
to Hollywood with a years MGM
contract. His build-up will be
"Movieland's No. Hero"
Henry Youngman would have you
believe that this happened in Berlin
A storm trooper carelessly
stepped on the foot of one of Young
mans relatives trapped in Germany
1t so Infatuated him he socked
the trooper right on the nose {.
His pal took sock at him, too :.
For which they were arrested t.
In court the judge asked the de-
PENDANT why he hit the Navy.
Judge said the man, che
stepped on my foot, the one with the
corn, and it hurt me. lost my
temper and hit him."
"Your friend had a reason" said
the judge to the other fellow, why
did you hit this storm trooper?"
II thought" was the retort, lit
was being allowed again"
Then there's the one about the
visitor to Berlin who asked a ma
tive: SIS it true that Germans are
eating horsemeat?"
'Ah," said the Nazi. chose were
the good old days."
Jean Sablon overheard couple
of songwriters on Broadway .
Lets go to Carnegie Hail." said
one, they're playing a Tschaikow-
sky piece nobody's swiped yeti" /.
Just before the Network-Ascap war
ended, the song-writer group was
Boosting: They'll be coming
around our way. We've got them
crawling on our knees!" How
to Make Your Tablet or-Two Com.
panion Feel Sappier: Ask her if she
knows the meaning of the word
"Twip' When she says she
doesn't know, tell her it's a wide
on a twain.
Typewriter Ribbons: Robert Quill
len: The press has the right to be
free; but the more free it is, the less
right it has to be wrong o.
borne Enterprise: A critic is a per.
CON urho knOyuc mora than VOL, kpou