Evening star., 1941-12-25

writer and beat 500 or 600 words
out of its toothy face.
1t is on Christmas Day more than
at any other time that a columnist
wonders why he ever allowed him.
self to fall victim to such an oc-
cupation. Wouldn't it have been
wiser, he is bound to wonder, to
have stuck to gas meter reading,
dog plucking, deep-sea diving or one
Of a million and one other jobs
which enable a man to take a day
Of rest on Christmas?
Speaking strictly for myself, right
at this minute wish I had stuck to
something like dog plucking If I
had I could be down in the living
room at this moment with my elec-
trio train and not up here in a
stuffy room wrestling with the Eng
lish language. Dog plucking couldn't
be too hard. All you have to do, I
imagine, is to grab yourself a fstful
of fur and yank it out.
| x*
Another thing that makes the
writing of Christmas column diff
cult is the feeling you have that no
one Is going to read it. All the time
you are writing one there Is a belief
in the back of your head that you
might just as well copy down the
first four pages Of the phone direc-
tory and let it 60 at that.
Do people really read columns on
Christmas Day? Are there those
who, just as soon as they have
looked in their stocking and tried
on their new ties, grab a newspaper
and start reading Pegler, johnson.
Lippmann, Thompson, Mrs. Roose-
velt, Merry Round, Winchell,
DR.. Crane, Dorothy Dix, Prudence
Penny, Bugs Baer and all the rest?
The writing of Christmas Day
column isn't made any easier by
Article 2, rule of the Columnists'
Code. Article 2, rule requires that
Christmas columns be a little Diff
ferent from the general run Of
columns. A man is liable to lose
his card and good standing in the
union if he treats Christmas col
} umn like any other and goes right
ahead and handles the same ole
subjects in the same old way.
1t isn't good form to greet youl
readers on Christmas with such SUBJ
jects as price ceilings. civic corrup-
ton. taxes, labor problems and flood
control
A good standard Christmas coll
unn is one in which the writer re-
calls the Christmases Of his youth.
You know the kind in which the
weather on December Is, 1900, Is
described in detail, how the cider
tasted in those days, what the ap-
Piles looked like and the full menu
Of the Christmas dinner. For some
reason this is considered interest,"
ing reading by good many people.
AS for myself, I never could get
very excited by such information.
could live the rest of my life
without knowing how any writer
spent Christmas Day back around
the turn of the century.
But for those who do care about
such things here are the details of
my 1913 Christmas: Weather clear,
with a fresh southeast wind.
Up at $50, but was pulled back
into bed by an older brother and
held there until tbs.
Sid down the banisters at IN
and started roofing in my Chrtses
mas stocking "a flannel number viefa
bell on the toe).
Found the customary assortmene
Of oranges, apples, Brazil nuts and
candy.
Skipped breakfast to shoot a cap
pistol and beat a drum.
Dinner at noon.
Spent afternoon shooting cap pis-
tol. beating drum and wondering
why didn't get bicycle.
To bed at s.
MY 1914 Christmas was very SINH
lar to the 1913 one, only it was
cloudy with moderate wind from
the southwest.
Well. If I counted right that
makes 603 words.