Coulee City dispatch. [volume] (Coulee City, Wash.) 19??-19??, 1941-11-06
I\IE]lE1
,l1I tWNu Servieell

batten, the ex-Captain of the Illus
trious, will soon be making front
page news again, but that's naval
secret. He was telling us about the
sinking of the Hood by the Bismarck
and the way the Bismarck was
chased, trapped and destroyed.
Mountbatten suggested that the
complete exciting sea saga be given
to the newspapers-to cheer lovers
of freedom.
Heavens, mol" calculated the
Admiral. "No more publicity. The
incident has had too much of a press
as it isl"
Observation: Eddy Duchin says
he's surprised that none of the iso-
lationist editors headlined it this
way: american Destroyer Rams
Nazi Torpedo!"
We've Met Her: A lovely blonde
walked into a night spot, nose in
air. Someone cracked: "She's sure
putting on the dog since she's been
to the Coast"
"You mean," Dick Todd elaborat
ed, "she's gone Hollywood"
-.
Don't Believe 1t: Rosemary Lane
met a panhandler who asked for a
nickel feracuppacawfee and her
name and address!
"Why my name and address,"
ooh, don't get me wrong" he re-
piled, 81 want my secretary to drop
you a note of thanks"
By Way of Report: Most papers
missed this bit at the Bioff-Browne
trial, where testimony about thou
sand dollar bills is being tossed
about like confetti. Judge John C.
Knox, who has a sensayuma, was
questioning Nick Schenck of MGM,
who was having trouble remember
ing his annual income.
well, just try to give it to us ap-
proximately, within $75,000," said
Hizzoner, whose record is the best
on the federal bench, whose deci-
sions involve billions and whose sal
airy is $4,000 a year.
Idiom's Delight: Seymour Berk-
son of Int'l News contributed this
one to the book of anecdotes called
"The Best I Know" An American
Reporter was summoned to the Of
flee of the Moscow censor, who an
grily objected to this dispatch: "The
American Ambassador stood within
stones throw of Stain -
"What do you mean by this out
rageous insult?" Numbered the cen
sor. "You know perfectly well that
he didn't throw a stone at Mr..
Stalin!" HgF
The reporter finally explained it
was an American idiom.
"So?" said the dope. sin that case
we change it anyway. Make it:
The American Ambassador stood
near Stain. He threw NO stones!'"
Uncommon Sense: Conrad Thi-
bault tells of the three appeasers
who were crossing the Arabian
Desert. Look" said one, there's
an ostrich with it's head in the sand.
Isn't it silly bird?"
The ostrich jerked back its beak
and intoned: "When I have my
head in the sand I have enough
sense to keep my mouth shut!"
Notes OF an
Innocent Bystander:
Typewriter Ribbons: Nicholas
Murray Butler: Many peoples
tombstones should read: "Died at
30, buried at 60" :. Ambrose
Bierce's definition of ambition: An
overmastering desire to be vilifed
by enemies while living and made
ridiculous by friends when dead 9.
Anon: Lions of society are tigers
for publicity :. Elsie Mccormick:
People who live in pleasant places
always act as if the weather was
their own personal achievement a..
Geo. B. Shaw's definition of pessi-
mist: A man who thinks everybody
as nasty as himself, and hates them
for it . VIM. Lyon Phelps: This
is the final test of a gentleman: his
respect for those who can be of no
possible service to him 8. PM
He enjoys diving into a good book
and pulling a paragraph over his
head. r
The Story Tellers: The title. OF
Nina Wilcox Putnam's Your Life
piece is: II Was Too Eat to Love-
That's variation of the true. con-
fession theme. There the confesso1
is usually too fat-headed Elk.
Warden Lawes in Click writes Of
j. We'll, the icon" man, who used tc
wear a beard to appear dignified
and who claimed he could only fleece
person who was crooked in his
heart The grid experts who
invade the mags at this time of the
year remind you of most military
experts. Their pieces may make
sense, but not many make them in.
teresting. 49,
Manhattan Murals: The bootblack
who messages your shoes with q
rag bearing the likeness of Hitler
:. The sign on the, old fivver
parked on 9th Avenue: Don't laugh