Evening star., 1941-05-22

AdO1escent
WhenSad
Little Happenings
Can Cause Great
Dependency
By Angelo Patri

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Whats up, Helene? You look as
If you'd lost your last friend"
That's how I feel. Everything's
wrong. Everything. don't fit in at
home, nor in school, nor anywhere.
Everything I try to do is wrong.
Every time I move somebody has
something to say about it and it's
not too complimentary, either. I'm
ready to give up"
That is an adolescent mood, and
bows have it as often as girls. They
are tired oftener than we know and
what seems simple routine TO us is
likely to mean unusual effort for
them. What seemed to us helpful
suggestion was just another bit OF
faultfinding to them. Little uneX-
pected happenings that would not
give us a second thought are great
disappointments to them. We forget
that in many ways they are still
children and still in need of con-
sideration and understanding.
Helenes world came to an end
that day when gym teacher counted
her out of group Of dancers. "One
too many there. Step out, Helene.
You are on the end. Work with the
ladder group" Helene did not like
ladder work and she did like dane
ing. The English teacher said,
Instead of working on that edi-
torial today, Helene, I wish you
would 60 over this last composition
of yours for sentence structure.
It's weak all through. Put this
period on it and see If you can't
better it," Helene wanted to do
that editorial and she felt that the
teacher was telling her she had
done poor work. And she had.
To put the crown on her grief
her chum waited for her between
classes to tell her that the trip to
the shops for inspection of dance
frocks was off. Her chum explained
she couldn't go because of bad
marks in math. That meant no
dance for Helene either, and what
sorrow is as deep as that of lost
party when one is 16? Everything
was wrong
If this looks like nothing to grieve
about. you are wrong. To the child
it is a heavy load and needs the
relief of tears and comforting
word from some understanding soul
who can point out that there are
still joys in life, other parties, other
days for dancing and for doing
pleasant work. And that comfort
and encouragement is essential to
the child's healthy growth and
normal adjustment. Don't scold
and don't say, you've little to
worry about. If you had to pay
the rent and the grocery bills and
the rest Of it you might find out
what real worry was. Go on and
forget it." That won't do. Better
take time out to set things right in
the child's mind before passing by.
Boys are not so articulate about
these things as girls, as a general
thing. so one must be on the watch
to see what is going on to create
these moods of dependency. Don't
allow such a mood to pass without
doing your best to get to the cause
of it. Asking what is the matter
will not help. You will have to do
some sleuthing, make some fine
deductions on your own, and do
your best to show the child the
happier side of his day.
When you cannot find any cause,
try to give the child feeling of
hope and courage by showing him
your faith in his intelligence and
understanding by putting some
responsibility on him, that would
make him proud. You help him
wher you turn his attention away
from his troubles toward his use
fulness. And don't talk about
what ails him. but let it vanish in
the healthier mood of service.