The potters herald. [volume] (East Liverpool, Ohio) 1899-1982, 1941-04-03
CONCERNING
REACTIONS
MARY STARCK KERR

The much argued question of
spanking or not spanking" was up
for discussion by group of mothers,
and there were defenders of each
method. One mother of six children
gave her experience with both meth
DDS. She had started out with the
spanking" method, and later changed
to "no spanking" and found it more
satisfactory and effective.
Another thoughtful mother said, 81
had always favored the love and
reason method, and used it, but once
in a while was tempted to try the
other way. Then, one day, | was visit
ing a neighbor when her little daugh
ter was disobedent, and the mother
picked her up and gave her spank
ing. The mother could not see the
child's face but | could, and the look
of terror and anguish on that little
countenance almost broke my heart.
/ am sure that any mother, who look
ed at her child and saw such an eX-
preston, could never punish in that
way again."
81 believe you are right" said an
other. 81 think we could often save
ourselves trouble by noting not only
the expression on child's face bat
his entire bodily manifestation and
his voice. If we try to interpret these
correctly, we can learn much of what
the child is thinking. l have formed
the habit of doing that and reacting
just as l do with older people. When
a grown-up person begins to look OBJ
stinate, in a discussion, we do not go
on arguing with him but tactfully
change the subject, unless we are look
ing for trouble We wait for more
propritious time to discuss the matter,
for moods often change, and we Should
certainly be as considerate with child
ren. If we carefully choose fav-
orable time for behavior correction
we shall be more successful than if
we are Indifferent to the warning
signals and merely follow our own in
clinationS."
Another mother entered the discuss
ion saying, 81 heartily agree with
that, for what we want to do is to win
the child's cooperation, not simply
compel obedience by force"
"Well," said one of those who hao
defended spanking, "I never have time
to stop to think about what | an
going to do; the children are so ex-
asperating, they irritate me and
arouse my anger so that all | car
do is scold or spank them"
did you ever stop to think that
perhaps we parents eXasperate the
children, too?" asked the mother who
had first appealed for observation OF
the child's expression. "Sometimes
they can be seen exercising patience
toward their elders when these grown
ups are really exasperating in theil
manner toward the children"
A grandmother, who had said moth
ing up to this time, now spoke medi-
tatively: "You know, | have otter
thought about what Paul the Apostle
said, and what we say. He said
Fathers, provoke not your children
to wrath Another translation gives
it, DO not irritate your children Now
if we had written it, we should have
said, Children, provoke not your
parents to wrath DO not irritate youl
mother and father 1t does not take
them many years to learn the lessor
that they need to watch our express
ions, and we surely would be wise tc
take the hint given us today of watch.
ing theirs. | have tried it myself, Sc
/ know it is a great help in this i'm,
portant work of bringing up 6
family"