Evening star., 1941-08-01

Henry McLemore. bedroom wall,
and he'll wade through molten lava
in his house slippers for you.
Look around you, if you don't be-
lieve this. Look right on your own
vest, for that matter, or in the littls
box reserved for personal treasures,
and you'll probably find bit of
bric-a-brac you earned for winning
a spelling bee in 1918, or for calling
more cats than any other boy in
your neighborhood during the sum-
mer of 1910.
Americans cling TO awards like
castaways to a raft. Bankers who
are we'll on the way TO their fourth
million point with pride TO the
crossed paddles over the door in
their den that they got Is years ago
for winning the canoe champion
ship at Kamp Kill Kare. Many q
dowager is no prouder of her pearls
than she is of a medal she was
given as a girl for being the best
standing guard on the high school
basket ball team.
The Government should capitalize
on this weakness of Americans.
We would love it.
Consider Mr.. Harold Ickes' cur
rent campaign for gasoline conser-
vation. We will all enter into it,
sure, but not with the enthusiasm
we would If whole-hearted partici-
patton meant a medal or two.
Why doesn't Mr.. Ickes create the
Order of the Lean Mixture, Third
Glass, for those citizens who adjust
the carburetors of their cars so that
they will operate on third less
gasoline? Or the Order Of the
Leaner Mixture, Second Glass. for
those who save a little more fuel?
For those who strangled their car
buretors so that their cars stalled
every block or two for want of gas
oline, there could be an order known
as the Knights Of the Sputter, First
Glass.
For the super patriots, those mo-
torists who In their zeal to save fuel
shot the works and took the carbu-
retors out of their cars altogether.
there would be the highest order. of
all. They would be given the title of
Commanders of the Hitch Hike.
They would be granted the right to
wear royal purple bands on their
thumbs, and be guaranteed one free
half sole for their shoes a year by
grateful Government.
The drive for aluminium would
derive tremendous impetus from a
series of orders for unselfish house,
wives. AS 1t Is now there is no dis
tnguishsng between q woman who
has given only q coffee strainer and
one who has sacrificed a freless
cooker 10 the cause. This should
be remedied, because women, while
they are created free and equal
DON'T relish remaining that way.
S*s*
No woman would stop with one
aianinum pan II she knew that, by
giving two she would earn the right
to wear the same red, white and
blue ribbon in her boudoir cap that
Mrs. Jones wore. Before she'd let
Mrs. Jones have anything on her
she'd 60 down and buy an alumi-
mum pan 10 give the Government.
To bring the sluminum contribu-
tions to q peak the Government
should create an order called, say,
the Grand Danes OF the skillets and
Double Boilers. Only those women
who had cleaned out their kitchens
of aluminium ware would be eligible
for membership. There would be cer-
tain privileges that no woman could
resist. The order would have three
or four distinguishing pins and
clips; one, perhaps, for any color
scheme q woman might wear. The
clips and pins would be large, too.
Women don't like organizations
whose badges run to the small size.
There would be an annual en-
campment of the Grand Danes Of
the Skillets and Double Boilers, OF
course. The girls like to go to an
nual meetings and vote against one
another for high office. The organi-
zation would have lots of officers.
Women are apt to shy away from
organizations which have 50 few
officers the membership can't get
into a good squabble concerning who
isn't to be elected.
Even a national crisis brings It's
happiness. Never before In this
country's history have there been so
many organizations that men and
women could join. Never before has
1t been possible to wear as many
buttons, badges. ribbons and clips.
AS . Nation we love this. Joining
things rates q close second to base
ball as the national sport.
As I write this, the other half Of
my family is away joining an anti
Japanese silk stocking society. She
already has so many badges that
she looks as If she were wearing
suit of arnor when she puts them
all on, but she loves 1t.
There's no denying that this coun-
try will give until it hurts-if 1t gets
a badge to prove It.
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