Evening star., 1941-10-20

woods like healthy hound. pausing
only now and then to bind
sprained ankle or admire a sunset.
Newspapers are filed with fea-
ture stories, outlining the joys OF
putting on rough, serviceable clothes
and stoutly hiking to inaccessible
spots Department stores advertise
all sorts of ingenious little gadgets
for cooking a meal and making it
possible for outdoor lovers to keep
body and soul together until they
can get back home and tear into
the icebox
The publicity for nature Is so
strong at this time OF year that a
man is almost made to feel ashamed
to be caught indoors when he has
a free moment.
At the risk Of making Henry
Thoreau roll right ever, and waves
lash the shore Of Walden Pond, ]
would like 10 say few words In
defense Of the great indoors.
Let's consider outdoor cooking and
indoor cooking for a starter. One
of the most familiar expressions in
America is: Why is it that things
cooked outdoors taste so much bet
ter than things cooked indoors?
Well, I've never had a better meal"
AS we all say this We usually are
holding a paper plate, containing a
steak that has suffered third d-degree
burns on one side and the slightest
Of sunburn on the other, and a
potato that has been cooked in the
Goals and is more Goals than potato.
Under the sinister spell of the
great outdoors We all tell these lies.
and almost mean them. Yet, you
must admit and I must admit that
If such food were served us at home
we'd go bowling from the dining
room. Furthermore. who ever heard
Of restaurant growing famous on
wood cooked meals or OF a Chef who
gained his fame from dishes cooked
on a collapsible stove while he had
one leg in a poison ivy vine.
The best place to cook meal is
in a standard home kitchen with
linoleum underfOot. not moss, and
where no one has forgotten the salt
and pepper
It doesn't make sense for man to
shun the great indoors for the great
outdoors when he has spent so many
years improving the great indoors.
The great outdoors is Just the same
as it always was. A caveman or an
Indian could. come back and feel
perfectly at home in the outdoors.
But indoors We have air condition
ing, electricity, rugs softer than any
sod and hinged doors that don't fly
back and hit you in the face the
way branches of trees do, among
other things
Nature and her forces have been
working for centuries but YOU could
cover the world without finding a
spot in the great outdoors that was
as comfortable to sit down in as the
average chair. Give q craftsman in
Grand Rapids two hours and he'll
make monkey out Of nature inso-
far as providing a soft. gentle place
for citizen to sit.
Try to name place in the woods
where the walking is as pleasant
as it is along New York's Fifth ave-
nue., Atlanta's Peachtree street. New
Orleans Canal street or Chicagos
Michigan boulevard. People who
take to the woods invariably choose
the tough places to walk. They seek
out bushes and briars and rocks and
the like.
If nature is so darn wonderful.
why try to conquer her? Why not
60 back to buckskin trousers. moe
casins. flint and three-room lean
to?
At least 500 lovers of the great
outdoors will write me blasting
letters about this But not one Of
them will tell me that, as he writes
he is scratching bites he got in the
woods or that he is soaking his
feet in hot water to help the blisters.
or that his wrist is sprained from
tripping over the loveliest log.
In conclusion: You nature lovers
take your nip in the air and I'll
take mine from the sidehoard.
Distributed by McNsurht Syndicate, IncD