The Waterbury Democrat., 1941-09-30
(Reg. U. S. Pat. Off.) BY HARRY FERGUSON


 New York, Sept. 3o.-(UP)-This is cosmic essay, written from a dynamic stance with the assistance of the laws of gravity.
 It is cosmic and dynamic because the typewriter is firmly anchored and cannot move. You cannot use the cosmic punch and the dynamic stance If your opponent moves. And how do I know that?
 Because Lou Nova told me 50.
 Yes, sir, the man who made the cosrnic punch and the dynamic stance famous sat on a table in his dressing room after last nights hostilities and revealed that Joe Louis had been churlish enough to put one foot in front of the other, swing his arms occasionally, duck, side.step and, in other ways, move around the ring.
 Sabotage, that's what 1t was. Louis is in the same position as 8 man who would steal the propeller from the Wright brothers first air. plane or throw brick at Edison's first light bulb. If he had any in- terest at all in the development of science he should have stood there, rooted like an ancient elm, and al- lowed Nova to develop his theories on a stationary target.
 Embarrassing
 It wasn't happy gathering that assembled in Nova's dressing room and 1t took some time to get around to the delicate question of the dy- mamie stance and the coSmic punch. Nova sat on table while they cut the laceS of his shoes and stanched the blood that flowed from above his right eye.
 He said the usual things. He wanted another shot at Louis, he thought Louis was Q great fighter, he could do better the next time. But after considerable polite con- versation an old meanie far back in the crowd cracked out with:
 Say, Lou, how about the cosnlic punch and the dynamic stance?"
 Nova considered the question carefully, and then said:
 Well, Louis moved"
 As luck would have 1t, your agent was the first to recover his powers of speech, and he quickly inquired:
 "You mean the cosmic punch and the dynamic stance won't work if a man moves while you're trying to hit him7"
 "Yes," said Nova.
 Then 1t developed that, in the heat of battle, Nova had become un-cosmic and non-dynaInic at tir es-and usually at the wrong times. The dynamic stance demands that the body be bent in the shape of 6 bow.
 But I got cocky," Nova explained, land started fighting too upright. Tn other words, I changed my stance"
 That was enough for this ardent student of science and he repaired to Louis dressing room to inquire whether Joe had taken up the prac- tice of Yogi. One Yogi exercise is to stand on the head SO the blood can circulate freely. Tn the sixth round Louis demonstrated an ex- treme interest in the Yogi theory. He stood Nova on his head and ale lowed the blood to circulate in the brain for some five or six seconds.
 Cosmetic" Punch
 Tn Louis dressing room your agent found no interest whatsoever in the practice of Yogi or any other phase of science or metaphysics. Tn fact, the topic of conversation was whether the Yankees could take the beloved buns in four straight. An official communique from the Louis dressing room stated that SO far as the cosmic punch and the dynamic stance were concerned, Joe stood on 8 statement he made @ couple of days ago:
 "Ah don't know nothin' about the cosmetic punch Nova's got. I'm goin' to use my same old punches--a right and left"