Evening star., 1941-11-25

love at last; Gloria has returned to
California, possibly to rent out her
coiffure as a ski-jump; the shock
of Liz WhitneyS exclusion from the
Register has subsidized, and We have
decided not to Jump at the conga
bargain, what about Japan?
No one wants war Senator
Pepper, Democrat, Of Florida ex-
cluded) but there is general feeling
that if we must have war with some
one Japan would be very happy
choice for an enemy. No matter
what circle you travel in you'd be
hard pressed to find any one who
didn't feel that war with Japan.
while regrettable, wouldn't last
much longer than performance OF
The Mikado.
The war experts" meaning those
wall map strategists who predicted
the invincibilty of the Maglnot Linz
and Russias collapse within threA3
weeks, are partially responsible foai
this. Within the narrow eon1nes1
Of their Offices they have licked
Japan every day for weeks. and I'M
every conceivable fashion. Usinal
nothing more than a few thumb
tacks, a standard Atlas, 2 packs OF
cigarettes and a typewriter, SONS
of the boys have accomplished the
feat in one day and still got home
in time for dinner.
We are in no position to question
them and sincerely trust they are
correct in assuming that Japan Is
the Johnny Paycheck Of the Pacific.
We don't know how the Jap-on.
the-street in Toxic feels about fight.
ing the United States but We do
know how many Americans on the
street feel about fighting Japan,
because we made it our business to
buttonhole dozens Of them and ask
them.
A war with Japan would nnd US
well united. There wouldn't be any
of the "old country" ties to upset
the citizens. How many Of US have
japanese grandparents or even
japanese great-grandparents? You
seldom hear an American say I'm
saving up to go back to County
Yokohama to see where the old
folks came from"
The problem Of remaining foods
wouldn't present itself as it has
in the cases of sauerkraut. ham.
burger and wiener schnitzel. Jap.
anese dishes never have caught on
over here and in case Of war with
Japan Americans could 90 right on
eating as they always had. The
same goes for music. Japanese
music is practically unknown in this
country, for which we can all be
thankful. Our only exposure TO it
was at the 1886 Olympic games in
Berlin and we are prepared to 90 on
record as saying We prefer the howl
Of a scalded cat because the tune Is
easier to remember.
Japanese dogs wouldn't cause q
national schism as the dachshund
did during the last war. We seem
to be quite free Of Japanese dogs in
this country. We don't recollect
ever seeing one with almond eyes
in all the time we walked IN Gen.
tral Park.
With three vital issues such as
the remaining Of food, the banning
OF music and the stoning Of dogs
taken care of before We even went
to war with Japan. H. seems to us
everything would be pretty clear
sailing. even If the war experts"
had been guilty of undue optimism.
There is another fact that makes
Americans dread war with Japan
less than with other countries: that
Is, that 1t Is so easy to fnd on the
map. 1t is difficult these days to
look at the war maps Of Europe and
find Just where things are happen.
ing Some of the countries are
tucked away in the most obscure
places. But Japan has q sensible
location and you can find 1t even
without putting on your glasses.
OF course, we don't feel there
will be any war with Japan We feel
that the Japanese will eventually
get of that diet and get in better
humor. When they do, they'll stop
making faces to save face and put
those millions of silkworms back to
work, and quit beating around the
mulberry bush.
Distributed by McNausht Syndicate. Iney
OfficiuIs to See Sewer