Evening star., 1941-12-29
Answering an
On Card
Courteous to Reply,
Particularly When
Party Is Small
By Emily Post

A close competitor for the most
popular question at this holiday
season Judged by the number OF
letters on the subject) Is one asking
how to reply to invitations to teas
and cocktail parties unless the In
vitation asks for an answer by add
ing "R. S. v. P" or please Reply"
or else by asking, will you come
-. ?" Nevertheless it Is always
polite to answer-particularl II the
party is to be a small one and II
YOU cannot go. Although 1t Is still
correct to send third person notes,
it is not entirely permissible today
to answer all invitations OF this
type on your visiting cards. Accept
with pleasure, Wednesday at 4" or
so sorry, can't accept for the goth. y
Dear Mrs. Post: Please help us
with our hats and the length OF
our dresses. The wedding Is at
home, at II in the morning. and the
bride is wearing white and . veil.
The mothers would like to know
whether they should wear street.
length dresses or long ones, and are
they supposed to wear hats? They
feel that the hats at house wed
ding may look unnecessarily stif1
for the simplicity of this town.
Answer: The mothers should wear
hats, because the marriage service
is a religious ceremony and also
because hats belong with day
dresses. In a medium sized and
probably crowded house, it would
be very unimportant whether their
dresses were long or short or even
OF the same length since few people
could see the length of their skirts.
But II they are to stand together
in a room that is very large SO that
their skirts are plainly seen, then I
think the longer skirts are more
graceful, and the length Of their
dresses should be the same.
Dear Mrs. Post: Is 1t necessary
that a hostess give a corsage to her
guest OF honor?
Answer: Socially and informally,
no. On a formal occasion when
many guests are invited to meet a
stranger or bride, a corsage Is
rather expected. Professionally at
lunch or dinner given before the
performance OF a professional mu-
sician, or actress, or lecturer, a cour-
sage is rarely, If ever, omitted.
Dear Mrs. Post: I agree with you
in principle that it is polite to have
ones guest served first, and GER
tainly would have my guest Of honor
served before me If I had a skilled
cook In my kitchen and an expert
butler in my dining room. But in
my house I canpot avoid having
myself served first, because my one
very excellent maid does sometime,
slip and I find myself much more
at ease when I've given the platte,
a look, and the food quick taste
while she waits beside me.
If anything is wrong it is much
simpler to whisper quietly to hel
If she is at my elbow rather thar
at my guests elbow.
So please don't be quite so fina,
about something that is more prac-
tical for many people. In Other
situations I would agree with you
Answer-In an article I have
written on the origins of this hostes!
first service, this readers situa.
ton is fully described and exempted
Even so, inspecting, and possibl,
rearranging or sending an under.
done dish back to the kitchen fol
further cooking, bears very littl'
resemblance to the impression giver
by the hostess who inconsideratel,
and mechanically takes first choice
of everything herself.
To any one who will send self
addressed, 3-cent stemped envelop,
to me in care of this paper, I shal
be very glad to send reprint o
this article
Have you seen Emily Posts
new books for the hostess. "The
Etiquette Of Service" and "The
Etiquette Of Table Setting?
Send for them. enclosing 10 cents
Il g. >~nh nAA A6Aeana Emily