The Waterbury Democrat., 1941-07-15
THINGS I NEVER KNEW TIL
 NOW ABOUT KISSES

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 tYo0-Hoo GlrIs!l
 Although kissing is as old as re- corded history( but a lot more ftln) there arc stN people who don't know the joys of oScu1atiort {. . Most African Negro tribes and Poly- .llesiaSis pitch woo by sniffing each other. Laplanders and EskiEnos merely rub noses. And when 1t comes to kissing, the Japs are saps, too E. Some historians allege that the kiss as a form of love- making did not exist earlier than the Sixth Century. ItIl take docu- mef1tary proof to convince us that Cleopatra never illdulged in this indoor sport The Romans kissed their wives merely to find out if the gals were sober The Greeks fed their mates onions to keep other guys from grazing In their pastures. Nevertheless, there were plenty of scandal-bearers among the sandal-wearers.
 Gilbert Stuart, the famed portrait painter, Is alleged to have once met @ lady on the street in Boston, who said: "Ahl, MT. Stuart, I have just seen your likeness and kissed 1t because 1t was so much like youl" N. And did 1t kiss you in re- turn2" he asked "Why, no" Then" was the brushman's brush- off, 1t was not like me-"
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 Tn San Francisco there's Q real estate outfit by the name of KBs & Love ... A Chicago gent once sued his wife for divorce because sine kissed another rl1an-over the teie- phonel ;. A. W. Gillian of Wash. tnston, D. O., was arrested for kiss. Ing his wife in Q parked car. The judge who freed him gave the po- Ice such c scolding In 1882 the French Academy of Medicine declared that kissing Is more sani- tary than shaking hands !. The Supreme Court of Turin, Italy, ruled that doorstep good night kisses by engaged couples were illegal |. one gal was chucked into a Mex. tco City clink meerly for kissing her husband on the street in broad daylight. If 1t had happened on Broadway, 1t would have made Rip- ley's cartoon.
 The Emperor Jtistinian once kissed the foot of the Sovereign Pontiff Constantine Kissing the Pope's toe is an ancient privilege Mohammedans kiss the feet of guests who have come 6 long way to pay them honor. An old Ro- man named Pomponius permitted his lips to be kissed by the bio shots, his hands by the middle shots. and bis fet by the small fry :, There was . time in England when 2 visitor first kissed the host, then the hostess, then all the children, and lastly the dog and cat :, And m France, any gentleman with three lackeyS was permitetd to kiss any woman he chose. Then, came the Mevolutionl A Mrs. L. V. Markley charged . Mir. R. Day with steall11g a wiSs from her. The court awarded her $l .. Whereas Paul F. Scott, a well.heeled gold miner, thefted Q kiss from Fla Mae E1trcy of Carson City and her paw sued him for 1000, 900.
 There is only one thing men have done more regularly than kiss and that is, write about kissing :. ShaEespeare has over 300 allusions to Kisses in his sor1nets and dramas Everyone from Lord Byron 70 Maxie RoSenbloom has had some. thing to say on the subject :. Byron said the strength" of a kiss $ generally measured by its length" Slapsie Maxie csaxied: "A kiss Is like q runlor-it goes from mouth 70 mouth" ... A guy named Anon ed like to him: "Epe-st'weep 'st-e'ee! I" That's without npstick Another bloke compared the sound to a COW lifting its leg out of 6 swamp
 The con1ic-strip writers pro- nounce 1t "SMACKi" psy. chologists once figured that a kiss shortens your life three minutes, (G-whisl)
 Mary Martin, whose kisses belong 10 Richard Halliday, plays the kiss- able Southern chicken, Cindy Lou, in the flicker version of "Kiss the Boys Goodbye" SFfe got her film start in "The Great Victor Her bert" based on the life of the -
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