Evening star., 1941-06-09

in my lap. I'll pass it off with a
laugh. Let the steward bring me
my orange juice in the morning
with a seed or two left in the glass;
and the State Department Will
never hear a word of complaint. Let
seasickness assail me, and Ill fight
if off with brandy alone.
Fairbanks, jr., was tapped for
diplomatic service by talent scout
working out of the White House and
Immediately dispatched to the land
of the rumba and tango, one OF
the most dangerous posts in the
world. Career men rate only the
Stork Club as a more hazardous as
signment. How career men rate
Fairbanks, jr., don't know.
Reports and pictures from Brazil
and the Argentine prove that our
new double-feature diplomat is TAX
ing the perils of his job in stride.
And without hair cut, too, might
add. He braved the dangers Of a
football game, he swan in the un-
known waters at fashionable beach,
he made the rounds of cocktail par
ties and night clubs without even
the help of 8 stand-in.
If Juniors trip is success and
does foster inter-American under
standing through the theatrical
arts" we can look for tremendous
change in the diplomatic service OF
this country.
Fairbanks trip to South America
was preceded by one Of Mickey
Rooney to Mexico, and as write this
Norma Shearer is packing her dis
patch and makeup case to go to
| Canada for bit of hands-across-
| the-bordering.
A possible outgrowth of all this
would be the establishment of the
Sam Goldwyn School of Diplomacy.
1t won't be long, perhaps, before
Olson and johnson are named am
bassadors to Japan, with the whole
cast of Hellzapoppin accompanying
them as the embassy staff. 1mag-
inc their first state dinner with
itching powder in every kimono.
beetles dropping from the ceiling.
boutonnieres squirting water from
every lapel and collapsible chairs
throwing diplomats all over the
place.
w. C. Fields would be good man
for Vichy. And Vichy would prob.
ably be good for w. C. Fields If he
would ever drink it.
Any country would be inclined to
be friendly toward a nation that
sent them Dorothy Lamour, with
her credentials tucked in her sarong.
Just as the sternest note from this
country would sound less harsh If
sung by Bing Crosby, with Bob
Hope making wisecracks about 1t.
~
1t has been said that Secretary
OF State Cordell Hull isn't wholly
in sympathy with trips like those
taken by Mickey Rooney and Fair
banks. Perhaps he feels that his
position is jeopardized. After all
Mr.. Hull isn't too photogenic, has
only an ordinary profile, can't Groom
| and is master of no dance routine.
With Hollywood invading the field
of diplomacy Mr.. Hull might walk
into his office almost any morning
to find Paul NUM- or Spencer Tracy
sitting at his desk playing Cordell
Hull.
The more think of 1t the more
remote seem my chances of being
made a goodwill ambassador. I
don't look bit better than Cordell
Hull and my theatrical experience
Is quite limited.
My first and last appearance on
any stage-or rather on any tree
was in an outdoor pageant in which
I was mockingbird, covered with
crepe paper feathers and a ghastly
fear of falling off the limb on
which I was perched. However. II
the State Department needs a good
mockingbird imitator I am ready
and willing.