The Waterbury Democrat., 1941-07-05
(Reg. U. S. Pat. Off.) By HARRY FERGUSON
Limited Press Snorts Editor

New York, July 5.-tUP) - If everyone will now take his seat quietly and the committee please come to order, I would like to make a motion that the Marquis of QueenSberry rules be suspended for the forthcoming encounter between Abe Simon and Buddy Baer.
 Otherwise it will be impossible for them to fight. They are matched for next month, and there may be two bigger boxers loose somewhere in the world but not even the cld- est inhabitant of cauliflower canyon can suggest who they might be. Between them, Baer and Simon will weigh more than 500 pounds F. o. B. ringside even though Joe Louis has fought them both and cut them down to his size.
 With their fine Hair for artistic phrases, the fight mob already is referring to the engagement as the Battle of the Behemoths," and for once the press agents have kept a tight rein on their imaginationC. It really will be an aWeSome sight when Baer and Simon walk to the middle of the ring and the earth shakes for miles.
 We got a faint idea of some of the difncultieS surrounding this bout the other evening when Simon was matched with some gladiator whose name shall be legion because we are too lazy to walk to the morgue and look it up in the files. This was supposed to be a tune-up bout to prepare Abe for his engagement with Baer. The combatantS were in their corner, the seconds were mur- muring that age-old adenonition ''get in their punch, he can't hurt us" and most of the spectators were on edge (there were three bars just outside the entrance to the arena).
 Gloves Needed
 The crisis arrived when they tried to put the glove on Simon. The first pair was too small, but they did cover the cuticle and helped disguise the fact that Simon had "dishpan hands" One of the offl- cials rummaged around in a box, came out with another pair and sug- geste6 politely: Just slip these on for size please" Simon obliged and the gloves came up slightly past his first set of knuckles.
 Wont do at all," said Legion,s second, they're wearing them long, CT this season; way up around the wrist"
 The result was that they couldn't find 8 pair of gloves large enough for Simon and had te call of the bout. One spectator who was very much on edge saw the gladiators leaving the ring, turned to his con- panion and said: Fastest knockout I ever saw"
 It is impossible to see how a referee is going to operate in the Baer-Simon fight unless he learns to walk on Stilts or puts head phones on the fighters so he can communi- cate with them when he wants them to break out of a clinch.
 Another problem is going to be how to get the stricken man back to his dressing room in event he is kIockedf horizontal and is unable to rise. One suggestion is that Pro- moter Mike Jacobs call for bids for removal of the body from firms that recently has been engaged in wreck ing the sixth avenue elevated line.
 Big Idea
 But the most brilliant suggestion has been thatt he fighters borrow something from Abraham Lincoln. who, when challenged by a much smaller man, painted circles on him. self and told his opponent to con- me his blows to those areas. The idea would be that no person could possibly shift his eyes from Simon's stomach to his head in time to see 2 punch land The eye is wonder ful thing, but 1t couldn't cover that muh distance in limited amount of time. Under this system a rertangle would be drawn in each mans body and face and designated as ''com- bat areas" Punches that landed anywhere else would be ignored or, at most, recognized only by an ex- change or diplomatic notes.
 The broadcast will be done by