Evening star., 1941-06-26

chine as an aviator or machine
gunner, a man doesn't sit around
the house with his family and argue
about which would be more fun
to get poison ivy in the mountain,
or a second degree burn at the
seashore.
He is sent of with other tour
lists" to spend happy, carefree
time wandering around ammunition
dumps. bridgeheads and airports in
foreign countries. Can't you lust
picture the delight with which the
head OF German household opens
a letter from the state tourist bu-
reau to find out where he will be
sent to relax and forget the cares
Of the world?
Come help me get packed for
my vacation trip" thousands OF
German husbands are probably
calling to their fraus TODAY. "I
have just heard that am to 20 to
Turkey. Isn't that nice of them.
mamma? 1t says here am TO frolic
10 my hearts content in and about
the loveliest communications center
and that everything is being done
10 see to it that we have the place
all to ourselves. Now let's see what
Ill want to take.
Lets have my tennis racquet
You know, the one with the lueer
pistol in the handle. That's right
II need those camouflaged flannel
pants. The same ones I took when
had that swell vacation in Danzie
You wouldn't notice that bullet hole
In the knee, would you, mamma
what, you've sent my steel vest tn
the cleaner. Well, call EN- up and
Tell them to get it back right avay.
Remember how much fun I had in
1t in Munich that time. Oh. xure
put those bullets in my shaving kit,
and don't forget my combination
radio and flame-throWer. All right
you can put my code book in there
with my bathing suit. Let's see.
now that's all I'll need, isn't it?
Oh, wait a minute. You'll have To
make room somewhere for my CODY
Of 'Mein Kampf.'"
There is no denying that thes~
tourists" have done effective yor,
for the Nazis. They make the av-
erage wolf in sleeps clothing
plumb sissy. One minute they arc
nnocently writing a postcard home
saying having nice time, wish you
were here" and the next they are
shooting the postman who came TO
collect the card. The oldtime vaude-
vile quick-change artist had moth
ing on these "site-seers" who can
switch from a goggle-eyed visitor
to bomb thrower in one second less
than nothing fiat. Will this country
eventually have to develop tourist
troops? The chances are that it
will, just as it has adopted other
Nazi means of modern warfare such
as the dive bomber and parachut-
lists. And if it does the United States
will have the most formidable and
terrifying tourist" brigade in the
world.
Americans are natural-born tour
lists. They like to roam and ramble
and half tear up whatever place
they 60, whether 1t be in this coun-
try or a foreign one. No American
tourist who has ever seen other
American tourists abroad will ques-
tion their destructive powers. In
peacetime invasions they have
brought Paris to her knees, rocked
Rome and blitzkrieged Berlin. Their
natural gait, from the moment they
careened down the gangplank until
they were poured back on for the
trip home, was a sort Of hog-wtd
canter that brooked no opposition.
II peaceful American tourists were
this tough on foreign countries what
havoc armed ones would bringl
Knowing how foreigners feared the
mad attack of American tourists
each summer, it is conceivable that
they would now yield to any demand
this country might make If they
knew that a refusal would bring US
charging into their cities again, with
our noise, swagger, braggadoccio
and ability to turn night into day
for weeks on end.
wouldn't be surprised II Amer
ica's mighty tourist horde eventually
proved to be one of its major de-
fense weapons. Just as soon as an
American knows he Is a tourist he
becomes a different human being al
together. He sheds every inhibition
and blithely goes about doing things
that he would get thrown into jail
for at home.
Yippee! Yowee! Crashl Bang!
Here we come.
Distributed by McNaught Syndicate, Incl