The Waterbury Democrat., 1941-12-30
Walter Winehon
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~N"AaA NNAHX He still gives me hell for doing things like getting arrested by the Nazls."
 Dear walter: II see you now have three jobs instead of two and l thought some of this might help. Hitler claims he's 0heying an inner calp to take over the army. What Schickelgrauber heard was not an inner voice. It was probably in- digestion brought on by biting off more than he can chew Tn this war we're Al In the same boat. If labor doesn't cooperate the boat won't be ready .. Things ere SO tough in vaudeville that acts which used to open with the stralghtraan dropping his handkerchief (as the pretty girl passed by) are no more, The straightinan Is dropping kleex, Fred Allen"
 'Dear MT. WimchelI. Apropos your noting of my remarks In Golfers, December 20th iasue, that two face tors--heavy casualty lists and Afneri~ can entry Into the war--would pro- mote decay of German home mor- ale, I thought you might be in- terested in Q wiseCrack that was just becoming current in Germany when I left there recently.
 Tt seems to me to be important, since it apparently tips off ufder- current public reaction to Hitler's assumption of full military and as- trological command. It goes like this:
 "When two Berlin friends meet, for their lunch of one cabbage leaf each, the first asks: well, how goes the warp His pal then leans close and, says behind his hand "Ssshhl Der Flehrer knows exactly, God Almighty is trying to find out. And its none of your damn busi- ness. Sincerely, w. B. Courtney"
 Have you beard the yarn about the Irish character actor who began tippling during the run of his playS
 He missed the Saturday night performance, then the Monday. Fin ally the manager of the show ace costed him staggering down the street Tuesday evening after the curtain had risen where the hell have you been2" he believed at the befuddled thespian, You've loused us up fine"
 1T didn't knew we played Sunday shows" mumbled the lush.
 Sunday, he'll It's Tuesday night and it's now ten after ninel"
 "Oh," apologi2ed the actor, lurch. ing to full stature. "These Jewish holidays get me all bawled up."
 Russell Swann has a cute gag ai the Rainbow Room. In selectinl e member of the audience to assist him with his magic tom-foolereis Swann itnpresses the rest of thu room with the fact that the selected is Q total stranger to him by throw. ing this question at him: "As e mat ter of fact, you never saw me be- fore, isn't that rtght7" "Yesl' the eager guest always replies.
 Then" heckles Mir, swann, "hov do you know it's me2"
 In the Place Elegante We heart the story that Rudolph Hess al legedly got 6 letter through to hi old cronies in Germany telling then how well he was being treated anS fed X. This glowing account Of lift as prisoner In England finall, fell Into IIitler's hands. He callet a meeting Of party members ailt read them the letter. Then ht excoriated the British for under mining such Spartan NaZi witl the drug of easy living in England When he finished, ali of them to 1 man jumped Up and headed for tht the door Where are you go' ing2" Hitler asked them.
 We are going" they replied lick ing hteir chops, ito save HessI"
 In the Jan. Readers Digest Sec retary of the Navy Knox states tha he has never in his life been bore' Apparently, he isn't Q frs nighter Lindbergh was tn military expert woh told uB tha the German army was invincibl and would lick Russia easily .. The Russkys seem to be turnin q so.called invincible army Into al invisible one The N. Y. Pos handled the weather situation wit humor. Their forecast the othe day read: Passed by censor. Tn weather will continue" Nowaday you can't complain about your rheu matism-you might give away vito weather information.
 An edltorlallst tAinks it's c goo Idea to eliminate from newscast "noise.making accompanimer1ts de signed to stlmplate the drama 0 their delivery" We believe tha there are times when the news ] exciting enough without any ding donging. We don't believe any news paper or newscast ls worthwhile if puts people to sleep We Us the dot-and.dasher for the sam reason newspapers use big, blac headlines-in order to arrest ct tention.
 TWO PLANTS VOTE