Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1941-06-07
'Cantaloupe'
Here to Stay.
Says Runyon
Let Er Swing n Sway
10 Be a JoviaI Soul
By DAMON RUNYON

ward is conducting a campaign
10 insure It's old grads of the
future against the bulging
curves common TO many mid
dlc-agcd men as the dispatch
puts IT,
We suppose that what is
meant IS the old cantaloupe
amldShipS, so why not say so
without all this priSSinesS?
II Is stated that the Har-
wards of today undergo posture
training under Norman ".
tradd, assistant physical cduca-
ton director. This Is de-
scrlhed aS "headSIlp- chinS IN
chests out proposition.
F'radd is quoted as saying
that rounded shoulders pull the
chest in and throw the abdomen
out and he thinks if YOU catch
the lads young enough and
teach EN- how 10 stand they
viii escape subsequent con-
tours.
WELL, all right But VIC can
W tell the young HarvardS
right now that IL is no Use.
They cannot avoid the old can
talOupc if they stand with their
heads Hp ehins in and chests
out from now until the COWS
come home.
II goes with the middle years
the same as a bald head and
bad teeth.
You show MS a man Of mid
die age without canlalOupC
and we will show YOU man
who IS all tuckered out al night
from carrying himself IN the
posture indicated, which be-
comes quite encrvatinG after 45.
Most likely he will be a man
OF pceViSh disposition. too. He
has 10 keep constantly remind
ing himself to keep his head up,
chin in and chest out. and il
becomes quite strain. More
over he has TO watch his diet.
The man with the cantaloupe
Just lets or swing and sway
without giving much thought to
the matter and he eats what he
pleaScS, consequently he is apt to
be a joVial soul
OUR readers are aware that
" we are something of an
authority on the cantaloupc. We
have discussed it before in this
column out of long observation
and much experience in endeav-
Oring TO eliminate or at least
minimize the tumor in our own
case
We believe that we have re-
lated our adventure with the
rubber girdle. but perhaps it will
stand repetition
We had corraled our canta-
lOupe in one of these contriv-
anccS on the recommendation of
a lady. and bar some difficulty
in getting at itchings under
meath. it seemed TO be working
all right
But while doing a rhumba in
the Stork Club one evening. the
darn thing busted and the canta-
loupc suddenly was unlcaShed
with a violence that knocked our
partner into the wall.
WE THINK. that what caused
w us o'Eive up on the caHta-
loupe was observation of doctors.
We have noticed that many of
our most eminent mediCoS show
well rounded cantaloupeS meath
.their weekits.--.lSs so t9-sone
fellow who. uses a telescope to
look doWn, our throat, he has 10.
st,antf. - fSf-;nJg;4<. So -. ~
.NoW IT, tbo 'cantalasH'c WAS, %
.k2sI esri;s.-s >,assel2 -5ut9es opeglYs
display them? We think not.
What is good enough for the doc''
tors is good enough for u.s.
So we gust do not do anything
at all about our cantaloupe eX-
cept TO conScientlously avoid
profile views of our person in
full length mirrors.
That always causes us 10
Shudder. We do not permit any
mirrors in our house whore we
are apt 10 see them that pre-
sent reflection below the
Adams apple.
THE exercise endorsed by
Il Fradd for the young Har-
wards is about what they Will
get IN the army or tho navy
later on. Head up, chinS in,
chests out.
II has been a fad in both
branches of our service for gen
erationS. We suppose the idea
is 10 give the enemy less of a
target If he is shooting al Our
boys when they are standing
sideways
But YOU Try il with a full
pack ON your back and see how
YOU like H. And what do We
find when the men of the serv-
ice, long schooled in the posture
stated. reach their middle years
Well. in the last parade of
the American Legion we wit
messed, we counted about a
dozen fellows out of the hun
drcds parading who could lower
their eyes and sec their toes
without cranlng their necks
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