Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1941-10-24

and try TO get me fired. 1t shocks
me to know that we have a tattle-
tale in the cabinet. I'll bet that,
when ne was little boy, Childe
Harold was always the one who ran
to teacher and said, "I know who
wrote on the blackboard, I know
who let that mouse loose in the
girls cloakroom"
Why couldn't Mr.. Ickes have
written to me personally? It
wouldn't have cost him any more
because he used the ranking privi-
lege and stationery which was
marked "Ofhcial Business" And
think what it would have meant to
me to get personal letter from a
cabinet member, even if it were only
Mr.. Ickes. could have cut of the
signature and pasted 1t in nv auto
graph album, and no one would have
ever known what the letter said. As
1t is, everyone in the Office OF nv
syndicate knows exactly what ths
letter said, so you might as well
know, too.
Here are some of the more fatter.
ing excerpts from it:
Please tell that industrious comic
OF yours, Henry McLemore, to Quit
trying to give me stitches, it's no
use. I've been reading McLe-
more on and of for years-mostlv
on. ''' l wouldn't want McLenore
to think I intend anything per-
sonal when I give it as my opinion
that, compared TO his column. the
National Geographic Magazine Is
full OF belly laughs. -
"A great fuss has been made bv
newspapers that have been ordered
to reduce their gasoline consump-
ton. They have said in rebuttal
that to do so means they will have
TO cut down the size of their issues.
I think that I make a worthwhile
suggestion when I say that the first
and easiest thing they can elimi-
nate is Henry McLemores column.
He wastes column a day in I don't
know how many papers. The az-
gregate in white space will turn out
TO be anything but hay - q"
Naturally I have to disagree with
Mr.. 1ckes. My column .is my sole
support. do not have any voters
or taxpayers picking up my checks.
In his next tattle-tale letter TO
my office I wish Mr.. Ickes would
explain why in the world he ever
reads my column and doesn't con-
fine himself solely to the National
Geographic with its fascinating
tales Of travel and bird life and all
those pretty pictures.
Why, II what I write makes Mr.
1ckes lose his mind almost com
pletely as he did those tank cars,
has he been reading me on and of
for years? Think of the publications
that are available to him that do
not run my column. There's the
Racing Forum, Poultry Digest,
Etude, Snappy Stories, War Cry.
the Harvard Classics, the Complete
Works of Shakespeare-and, well
I could go on forever. Yet with all
OF this reading matter at his finger
tips the old fuss-budget goes right
ahead and gets himself in q lather
from reading my column.
1t bothers me to have a man like
that in the cabinet. If he can't con-
troll his own eyes, how can he be
expected to coordinate and control
petroleum?
OF course. If I were the Ickes type
Of fellow would sit right down and
write Ickes' boss. President .Roose-
welt, and try to get him fred. How
ever, I know that Mr.. Ickes has a
wife and family to support and I
don't want to see him on relief, even
II he wants to see me there.
But am not so forgiving that I
am not going to get some measure
Of revenge. I am going right out
and buy five gallons of gasoline and
pour it out the window. know that
will make you shudder, Mr.. Ickes,
when you read it. And I know that
you'll read it, If only to confirm
your opinion of what a horrible
column I write.
But this is all in fun, Mr.. Sec
rotary of the Interior.
To tell you the truth, you are my
very favorite petroleum co-ordinator
If there's ever anything I can do to
net xyos, II, fros,hlo met LAT ~ a kY,py..