Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1941-03-11
Don't Worry
Over Your
They Are Acting as
You Did in Your
Adolescence
By A ngelo Patri

Parents could spare themselves a
lot of grief if they could learn to
look away from their children and
get a proper perspective on their
growth. That is most difficult be-
cause parents love their children
and have deep concern about their
welfare. Everything they do, every
thing they do not do, is of import
ance to their anxious well-Wishers.
Children grow in mysterious and,
1t must be said, in irritating ways.
Just when one expects a bit Of
smooth growth something new crops
up. The child who was doing well
in music fatty refuses to go on with
it. The boy who had never given
any trouble decides he dislikes his
teacher and doesn't care if he never
gets good mark again. The sturdy,
healthy youngSter goes down with a
nervous malady. The modest, quiet
little girl suddenly demands red
shoes and seasons pass to the club
dances. Life is never dull in the
family where there are children.
II father and mother could only
find a way of not looking, of not
seeing and not hearing too much
of the details of this bothersome
growth they would not be so tired
and feel so discouraged. Listen
ing to and counting the minutes
of each telephone call does not
reduce either the time or the num-
bers of them. Scanning ths mail
and worrying because there is an
other note from that girl" or
"that boy" again won't reduce their
number or change the writer. Nor
Will watching the clock, checking
on the gasoline, walking the floors
bring them in sooner and teach
them discretion. Experience, in time,
brings growth and understanding.
In the meantime, parents must
bide their time with what patience
and wisdom they can muster.
Youths growth is nubbly, uncer-
tain, and disconcerting always.
They will do the unexpected things,
make mistakes that scare you stiff,
take risks that leave you painting
with rage and fear. but in the end
they grow up, and do quite well,
thank you. Just as you did.
LIES pattern repeats itself.
What you in your youth felt, and
did, what you suffered and en-
Joyed, these your children know
today in another setting, at an
other speed, but in the same pat
tern. What you endure at the
hands of your children your par
ents endured from yours. 1t is your
turn. The pattern repeats itself
each generation, and if the older
one can be wise enough to set the
stage beforehand for the protection
OF the adolescent children they are
so much ahead, both sides.
How can one be aloof and i'm
personal and needless when their
children are experimenting with
life in risky fashion? One can
not. But think back. Did you
not do, think and feel things that
your parents never knew about?
Were you not in dangers they did
not dream Of? Did you not care
fully conceal much of your doings
from them? And did you not grow
up in good health and sound spirit.
secure in their affection, Just the
same?
Much is hidden from parents. and
much more might be overlooked bv
them to their great relief, if they
could but remember that youth to-
day is much like that of yesterday,
growing ahead in up-and-down
fashion, risking something there.
holding onto something here and
finally arriving at maturity right
side up.
Let not your heart be trou-
bled, neither let it be afraid" was
written for fathers and mothers,
too.