The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1940-10-08
GOOD TASTE
TODAY
b EMILY POST

To say That manners n COM
pany. IN business. in politics OF
AZ home are different kinds o,
manners is nonsense. Whatever
manners are genuinely ours. are
ours always. everywhere. Il they
are good. they are good. and II
they are bad. they are bad. II
they are good sometimes and bad
at other times. then they are
glued together manners which, like
glued together pieces Of a broken
cup. cant be counted On not 10
fan apart when you drink out Of
it,
This mistaken idea Of pleasing
manners is very much like the
mistaken idea Of charm as some
thing that can be turned on as
one turns an electric switch True.
1t may be better 10 think. Here
comes Mr.. Tops. Now I'll smile.
and show enthusiasm. than not
TO notice Mr.. Tops at all But II
is doubtful II the smile that en-
chants or the enthusiasm that car
ries a point is ever acquired that
way The only smile that Mr.
Tops is likely to continue TO want
to return IS one that Mary Merry
heart has sent TO him without
knowing she has done So
l. An Aunt Immediate Family:
Dear Mrs. Post: Is an aunt con-
sidered immediate family. and II
not, may she give her niece
shower party?
Answer. An aunt Is not rated
immediate family unless she lives
under the same roof. In this case.
u would be just as unsuitable for
this aunt to give the bride-to-be
shower as IL would be for her
mother to ask people to come and
bring presents to her daughter. A
shower, remember, is a present
giving party and nothing else.
We can all ask, ''Will YOU ioin
me in giving a present to our
friend Nary" but not ito my
family
Usually Groom's Family Pay Own
Hotel Bill n Brides Family Can't
Care for Them
Usually the groom's family pay
their own hotel bill when they can
not be invited to stay with the fam
lily or friends Of the bride. But il
would be entirely proper, as well as
courteous. for the mother of the
bride to write a note saying that
she is looking forward with great
pleasure to meeting them person
ally, and telling them she expects
them to be her guests at the hotel.
This is in answer to a bride-to-be
who tells me:
Il have worked these several
years In the home town of my
fiance. His family have been won
derful to me. Every week end they
have invited me to their house, and
they have been nice to me in dozens
of other ways.
MY own home, where the we'd
ding is taking place, is quite
distance from here. NV family lives
in cramped quarters, making il i'm
possible for me to invite the
groom's mother and father and
sister to our house. ! have no rela-
tives either who could be expected
to invite them. In view of every
thing his people have done for me,
do you think ii would be permits
sible for my family to take care of
their accommodation at the hotel.
and If so. would We tell them about
1t beforehand May I just tell
them, or should mother write the
other mother a note? And should
their accommodations include a
room for the groom too ,"
As already said, 1t would be pro-
per for your parents to ask the
grooms parents to be their guests,
but the groom (or his family for
him) is expected to pay for his
own and his ushers' accommoda-
tions-that is. II your relatives or
intimate friends can. not put them
up.
The Best Things For Last
Dear Mrs Post: When nv
fiance meets me somewhere and /
happen to be with other people,
shouldn't he greet me and then
the others
Answer: II would depend how
people were standing. To shove
past others in order to reach you
first would be rude to them. and
at the same time show YOU no
more devotion than the equally
natural impulse TO save the best
for last. In short, to get through
speaking TO the others so as to
then give permanent attention to
youl