Evening star., 1940-04-23
When Guest
Breaks an
Article
Damage Should Be
Repaired if at
All Possible
BY EMILY POST,

It Is true that guest can not
actually be held responsible for what
they break In other peoples houses,
and for this very reason the least
they can do Is to show they are sorry
about what they have done. In
most cases when 1t is possible to
repair the damage, they should do
so. In other cases, there is nothing
that can be done beyond showing
their regret. But before going fur
ther let me quote part of a letter:
Recently we had guests to dinner
and during the dinner the husband
leaned back too hard on his chair
and the back snapped. felt bad of
course, as love these chairs and
they are irreplacable, but I tried
very hard not to show just how
bad did feel. I'm not a very good
actor however. Neither the man
nor his wife said a thing about how
sorry they were, but instead they
offered all sorts of suggestions as
to how the chair could be fixed,
When they left the husband insisted
that my husband take 50 to have
the chair repaired. I knew nothing
about this until later. The fact
that 81 can not fix the chair is less
annoying than this mans perfectly
self-satisfled attitude in not having
the slightest impulse to say a word
about being sorry.
will you give me your opinion
OF this situation and Of what can
properly be done when something
unfortunate like this happens in
another persons house? My hus-
band says that guests are not liable
for accidents like this"
What one should do when one
damages something belonging to
another depends upon a number of
circumstances. In this particular
instance, let us suppose that the
chair was a valuable antigua
possession remaining from more af-
fluent days-and that repairing it
would be a difficult process, and re-
placing 1t, impossible. The guest
should, I think, have made some
attempt to do his part toward its
repair, but certainly not in the way
he went about it. He could at least
have shown concern and he might
have asked, do you know any one
who can mend it?" If his hostess
said she did, he could then have
urged her to give him the address
and let him have it sent for. Gan
intimate friend would have asked
the hostess to have it repaired at his
expense0 suggest this because
there IS a good deal of responsibility
In ordering something done for some
one else. On the other hand, If she
hadn't known of any particular
place, he could have suggested that
she let him look into the matter
and have the chair sent for as soon
as he learned the name of an expert
cabinet worker. In a situation where
the hostess is obviously very welI-off,
and the guest of very moderate
means, an expression of sincere
regret would be sufficient. In fact
think it would be embarrassing to
both and therefore in bad taste to
mention the question of payment.
Dear Mrs. Post: At large public
dinner, on which side of q man
should his wife be seated?
Answer: Neither, because a wife
is not supposed to sit next to he,
own husband at a dinner-unless
you mean that this husband and
wife have bought two tickets and
| are going alone? In this case, they
would Of course sit together, she
on his right If this is possible. A,
the head table-or any other seated
with place cards-married people
are always, according to etiquette
separated.
Let me again remind certain wives
who occasionally protest against
this separating of wife and husband
rule that it does not mean q hus-
band may not even prefer to sit
next to his own wife. It merely
means that, according to best socia
practice, 1t is considered much more
encouraging to the exchange OF
ideas-in other words, conversation
If two people sit next to each other
who see each other less frequently
than 1t is quite naturally taken fo1
granted that q husband and wife
do.
Mrs. Post is sorry she can no
longer answer personal letters.
She Is glad however to have many
printed slips on \ variety Of sub
jects to offer to her readers.
Today's slip is "What Shall 1
Wear?" BE sure to send Scent
stamped, self-addressed envelope
with your request to Mrs. Post,
in care Of The Evening Star.