Evening star., 1940-12-15

responsible for his shiny "top]
Stanley Reed before the Gridi
soup and simulated sandwiches cal
represented by signs) drawn from
a simulated lunch basket. Whel
Admiral Stark asked If there wa
anything else in the basket, Gen
Marshall replied: "Yet, indeed" an,
held up a sign reading Nuts" The,
Secretary Stimson growled: "Fron
soup to nuts, it's all on paper"
The Republican skit took tn
diners to "Surburbia," a semi
mythical kingdom from which ther
lately departed a crusade to rescu
the holy land from the New infid
Deal
A man in rich medieval costume
wearing a silk hat, smoking a larg
cigar and reading a newspaper
was found seated in the doorway o
the Union League Club. There /,
1SPOA oSA 4OullO liAlll, ollu dShCu 1lllI
the whereabouts of Joe Pew. ir.; 81
Tom Girdler. His Highness Roy w
Howard, Prince Joe Martin ant
Charlie McNary. Esquire.
Finding none of these, the reporte
inquired if Sir Wendell Willkie hat
returned from his great mora
crusade.
''Who?" asks the clubman, throw
ing down his paper.
Sir Wrinkle Wendy," the reporte,
replied, evidently abashed at tn,
reception given his inquiry.
"Willkie, indeed" the clubmar
snorted. "A reformed Democrat
They are worse than reformed
drunkards, BAIL"
A Prediction for "A.
Then as the orchestra played tn,
Pilgrims Chorus" motley crew
shambles onto the stage, some wear.
ing medieval tunics, others golf caps
yachting caps. derbies and polk
topees. They sang:
"Once more, dear home, I with
rapture behold thee
"And greet the greens that st
sweetly enfold thee,
Thou Willkie Club, with you an
through,
my country club, am back with
you.'
"who are you. my stout fellows
the reporter inquired.
Call us Vandenberg, Dewey anc
Taft" a trio sang in reply.
Asked for statement, Taft
nudged Tom Dewey, who sang the
tune of Keep the Home Fires Burn
ing but with these words:
Keep the home fires burning
While the worm is turning
In "A therell be no more
"Of Franklin D.
There's the silver lining
Through this dark cloud shininl
I'm "A our man will score
And it might be me-"
The Editors Approach.
At the approach of men whom thu
reporter recognized as editors. he
perked up. hoping finally to fine
some news of the great crusade.
Are you not Sir Roy Howard?" h.
asks of one
Want to make something of it?'
asked one of the men, the one
dressed in monks robe.
Where is Sir Wendell?' the re.
porter asked.
He'll be here" Sir Roy replied
Hes writing. Cockeyed, I call it.
Man bites dog-corpse writes obit.
Il would love to have your impress
sion of the great crusade" the re-
porter said. And to the tune of
I'll Never Smile Again." Sir Roy
sang:
"1'll never smile again,
Because I bet on him.
He'll never yacht again.
Next time he can swim.
This time-honest!- through. -
A hoarse, broken voice off stage
started shouting "join me. join me,
and Sir Wendell staggered on
raised his hands, and upon being
asked for message for his pals o1
November S." he sang, to the tune
OF the "Invictus"-
"Out of the fight that smothered
me
"Blacker it was than Gallup's pol
Il bring what's left of G.. o. P.
But some one else must dig the
hole.
Dewey and Taft just get this
straight
"Vandenberg, Hoover, the Ole
Guard Corps
Il still am master of your fate
I'll be the boss in a."
The skit ended with Vandenbers
singing:
when there's a bit Of a job to do,
do 1t the Willkie way.
Down with the precedents tried and
true
do it the Willkie way.
whether domestic or foreign
affairs
Here's our advice to you
"Cut a few capers. get in thu
papers,
do 1t the Willkie way.
Keep politicians from boarding the
train.
do it the Willkie way.
Nothing was ever done right befor,
do it the Willkie way.
Hair in your eyes-and then com.
promiSe-and
do it the Willkie way"
"The Two Orphans"
John Lewis and John Garner took
the stage in an up-to-date version
of the old thriller THE Two
Orphans"
The snow fell on Lewis, who called
1t beautiful.
Beautiful snow, hell" Garne,