Evening star., 1940-06-04
From the
Press Box
War Steals Its Thunder,
Cou|ifIower Alley Says
By JOHN LARDNER,
Special Correspondent of The Star

BY JOHN LARDNER,
Special Correspondent of The Star
NEW YORK, June 4 (NANA).--
Thinking it over carefully, some of
the better brains of CaulifloWer
alley have decided that the war in
Europe is a private conspiracy to
draw attention away from their
fighters. Nobody accuses anybody
but the finger of suspicion points at
a junta composed of Leon See, JET
ferson Davis Dickson and other
European drummers of the cauli-
flower trade. Mr. Mushky Jackson,
for instance. would not be surprised
to learn that See and Dickson
cooked up the hostilities personally
with a view to keeping American
fighters out of the newspapers.
Nothing is too low for them to
sink FROM" points out Mr.. Jackson,
with some justice.
Mr.. Hymie Caplin, the celebrated
double talker from the cattle country
around Delaney street, New York
City. has a real grievance.
Here am" says Mr.. Caplin,
with the greatest two-isted fighter
Of the Goth generation, killer, a
vampire-believe me, boys, he drinks
blood without chaser-a champion
who should be drawing crowds OF A
hundred thousand, if that many.
Cont Remind Himself
Of Jenkins Name
so what happens? His name is
Lew jenkins. But if I forget his
name, how am I gonna remind NY
self? Can I look in the papers?
Sure can. I'm a good reader
when the print is big, but can't
ind Jenkins. Not in the papers.
Europe is in a conspiracy to keep
him out of there.
DO l deserve this should happen
to Hymie Caplin? What did I ever
do to Europe, except I give EN- a
booste whenever somebody asks me2
1 tell you how it is SAYS Mr..
CapIn ominously, "if things con-
tinue in this way, and no matter
what happens, you can say said
so
With these sinister words, Mr.
Caplln withdraws into conference
with himself to decide whether it
is worth while to have Mr.. jenkins
jump off the Empire State Building
IN a parachute just to let people
know he's around.
The way things are breaking for
me, nobody would look, broods Mr.
Caplln, and if they did, they prob
ably would shoot him through the
stomach"
CopIin's Luck Is Good,
Dispute Big War
In spite of the combined efforts
OF Hitler and Churchill to steal the
bread out of Hymie's mouth, how
ever Mr.. Caplin's luck is more good
than bad. No sooner does he lose
one champion than he picks up
another tout of somebody elses
pocket, and this new one threatens
to pay Hymie's rent and board for
the year on the strength of a sim
gle Observation-Disclosures, in
July.
Mr.. Saplin had a champion not
so long ago, name of Solomon
krleger. Winding his own business
one day in Seattle. Solomon hap
pened to whip mysterious AL Hostak.
the world middleweight champion
OF that part of the country, AS
soon as Mr.. Krieger and Mr.. Cabin
had recovered from their surprise
they left Seattle in a great hurry
and planted their banner over Mr..
kleger's native Brooklyn.
1t transpired however, that Mr.
krleger had left his toothbrush back
IN Seattle. 1t was impossible to re-
place 1t in Greater New York. where
teeth virtually are unknown. so Mr.,
krleger and Mr.. Caplin tiptoed out
to the Coast to recover the i'm
plement, hoping to slip away again
unseen.
Wrong Guy Collecting
Third Of Jenkins
Unhappily, they we're spotted, and
when they departed Seattle for the
second time, they were-you guessed