The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1940-01-18
"NOONANISMS"
(From the Baudette Regionj

Maybe the gravy naSnC peen so
thick for you dairy farmers, but you
haven't been kept awake by wolves
serenading you on your front doorstep.
Jack Collins writes that Florida is a
good place for a poor man if he has
lots of money.
It isn't so many years ago since the
Wright brothers were considered slight
ly daffy for fooling around with con-
traption with wings. Now airplanes
may be the deciding factor in great
war.
The census will show Uncle Sam with
135, 100000 nieces and nephews. That's
lot of company.
If you expect the new baby to grow
up to be President the safe way is to
have it become a lawyer. Most of our
chief executives have belonged to that
profession.
This is the time of year that many
Christmas gift will find itself a
bridge prize.
A man recently elected Mayor of a
Canadian city didn't make a single
speech, and he had the right idea
If man has nothing to say you have
to agree with him.
There is one bathroom to every ten
thousand homes in Russia. 1t sounds
almost uncanny.
A friend gave us a pocketbook for
Christmas. A sense of humor is grand
to have.
We don't know who invented short
skirts, but it wasn't girl with } legs.
No matter what 1910 brings to you,
don't worry. You can't get out an in
junction to stop it anyway, so the best
way is to smile your way through it.
Many local men are fishing through
the ice, proving that fishing is in
durable.
International Falls is peeved be-
cause writer in the Saturday Evening
Post describing border conditions, criti-
cized the city. What are they kicking
about, as long as the Post spells the
name of the city right.
We don't notice much difference in
lies winter and summer fishermen tell
each other.
The census taker will be around soon,
asking where you were born and why,
and about every other question includ-
ing whether your grandfather was ever
arrested for sheep stealing.
The census will show that our big
cities are bigger than ever. In fact
they are too big.
Every once in a while you see
movie without bath tub scene, but
even in it the star is dressed as though
she should be in one.
A writer says that there are worse
men than Al Capone in the country.
What country?
The rumor that dough is scare must |
be a mistake. A Minneapolis bakery |
spends thousands of dollars a year for |
4 radio broadcast.
Recently we got up to take the four |
/. m. train and we met a lot of folks,
out we are not sure whether they had |
lust gotten up or whether they hadn't
zone to bed.
The coming census will bring out
ome remarkable facts, one of which
S that many woman is not ten years
'lder than she was ten years ago.
Be patient, even if it takes lot of i
,atience, until election. The Republic
ans will win.
If you have decided to run for Office,
heaven help you if you ever played
marbles for keeps as youngster, or If
here was anything else shady in your
Iast. 1t will all come out.
When census taker asks your full
anne don't be peeved. He just wants
our complete name.
No need to go to Florida this year to
ct sand in your shoes and burns on
our neck. No one could ask for more
ehghtful weather than we are getting
his winter. P. S-All weather obser-
ations in this column are subject to
hange without warning. lE
Many stork shower might better
e held for the baby's old man, who is
robably going around with sox that
e can put on from either end.
Use THE MINER WANT AnSi