Evening star., 1940-06-02
z 4 YRIrTEN on paper bearing the
wv insignia Of notable frater-
w nifty and signed by five seniors


starting off with this list:
Formal - informal, unconventional.
Propriety - morality.
Old-fashioned - modern.
Good taste - cheapness VS.. value
Snob-motive - wanting to get on.
At the end of this list, the letter
says: Dear Mrs. Post, will you give
us an Interpretation that goes some
what further than the dictionary's
definition of the foregoing words?
Where. in your opinion, does formal
change to informal? What is in
formal in contrast to unconventional
or is there no contrast between
these? Where - if they can be defined
- are the boundary lines between the
old-fashioned formalities exacted by
Mrs. Grundy. and modern standards
of propriety? To what degree is moral
ity affected by propriety, and this in
turn by fear of Mrs. Grundy? How
would you define the difference be-
tween being snob and wanting to get
on? If it is snobbish to want to get to
know the right people. and discredit-
able to make friends among the worth
less. what is the right answer? Are
there any rules Of thumb by which you
can separate good taste from bad, sim
plicity from cheapness - and what is
cheapness of behavior"
Interpretations Nov
30 IN answer, let us begin with the
word formal" This is a particular
stumbling block to me, because 50 few
Of my readers give it the same inter-
probation. Correctly, formal means
exactly what it says, according to
forms - often ceremonial ones. The
word conventional" also indicates an
established pattern, but not neces-
sarily a formal one. Informality'
means merely without ceremony it
does not mean deviation from conven-
tional pattern. An informal dinner
may be charmingly given and COM
pletely delightful in every way. But
dinner is never formal, if any of the
details of table setting, service, menu,
or the appearance and behavior of
those present fail to follow prescribed
ceremonious forms. For example, if
the table be set with place mats in
stead of a tablecloth, or with bread and
butter plates; or if soup be chowder;
or even if a dinner-party green-turtle
variety of soup be served in cups: if
matches and cigarettes are included in
the table setting or proffered before
the table has been cleared for dessert;
or if fewer than twelve are seated at
table. then the dinner is not correctly
termed formal"
On the other hand, the word con
ventional' means merely according to
custom, without stipulating what Gus
tom. If every one in x has supper
at six, then in X that is the conven-
tional meal at the conventional hour
- although dinner at nine may be the
conventional custom in Z.
But Mrs. Grundy is really not so
much concerned with the formalities
as she is with the proprieties. A man.
seeing a girl home late at night and
entering the darkened house to talk
for while, is breaking the rules of
propriety. Mrs. Grundy would GER
tainly believe that the moralities had
been endangered - which may, or
may not, be the fact But that pro-
prieties exist to protect moralities,
and that the two are inseparable, isa
point on which old-fashioned and mod
ern opinions are in accord.
1t is natural to the younger moderns
to think of yesterday as old-fashioned;
and yet the least rule tolerant of these
willingly agree that good manners are
of even greater importance than they
used to be, when people lived in
segregated circles and contacts with
strangers were few. They also agree