Detroit evening times. (Detroit, Mich) 1921-1958, 1940-12-29

Father William in Alice in Wonderland:
you can balance an eel on the end Of
your nose;
How came you so artfuliy eIever:"
In the northeast corner of this page you
will find the picture of an old lady sitting
on the ridgepole of the roof in a driving rain
She's type of the super-sanguine tempera-
ment. Haven't you known people who cling
to their pet theories despite all the evidence
of the cold wet facts? Aren't they as stub
born my old lady?
She might perhaps be believer in Old
Age Pension schemes although everybody else
knows that the government would go insovent
if II had to pay everybody 5000 month
Every mother who is blind to the egregious
faults of her only child, every infatuated
lover who believes his sweetheart is without
fault or guile also looks fondly for victory
of Hope over Experience. Brides who think
that by baking tasty cakes they can reform
drunken husbands buyers Of lottery tickets
and followers of the pones-what truths can
ever affect their credulity? And so. If you
accept the old lady on the roof as symbolic,
she is no longer nonsensical. She has become
too true to be funny.
And now, before you examine my doctor
with the knotted legs, let me ask you ques-
ton If you're married didn't your husband
pected quirk of conduct that completely mys-
titled you? You think you know a person
inside and out and then Bingo They jump
over the traces. Think of the apparently
serene husbands, after twenty years Of peace
full married life who have amazed you by
running away with their stenographers ana
leaving a family of six children. Think OF
the beautiful blue-eyed blondes, soft, calm
and submissive, who get up from a bridge
table and either jump out the window or
shoot dear friend through the tummy.
The knots. you see aren't always in the
legs They're more often in the mind. They've
been there all the time. only we didn't see
them We are really all strangers one with
another. We see effects and not causes. We
don't know what happens to our best friends
when the door is shut behind them.
And lastly let's touch ever so lightly on
the gentleman whose hands were where his
feet should be No doubt the centaur and the
sphinx have led you to anticipate that he
also has secret Right you are. He represents
the millions who mistake desire for ability.
Think of the army of beautiful girls, would
be actresses. who carry trays in the hash
houses Of Hollywood. They are as mistaken
as if they had tried to walk on their hands
and smoke cigarettes with their feet. In plain
English they attempted to do what they were
completely untitled for
How many girls with no voices to speak
of are goaded by mercenary instructors to
try to sing?
How many men and women are trying to
write for magazines apparently with their
feet instead of their hands? Ask any editor.
And so I could show you, I suppose. in
finite sense in the Little Man Who Wasn't
There. and even the Purple Cow. But this is
getting to be too much like a sermon. so we'll
leave those classics for your home work.
Wherefore to take this too serious taste out
of your mouth, let me say that in my next
article shall try to prove the exact con-
trary of this thesis. It's poor rule. you
know. that won't work both ways.
That is, with your kind permission land
the editor's) l shall next hold forth on the
proposition that there is Nonsense in all Sense
thank you