Smyrna times., 1940-12-26
The What-NOt
Shelf

New Years is the time to make
resolutions, SO we have prepared a
list. Of course, we grudgingly adj
NIT to being the seasons prize op-
timist.
Resolved:
To do Xmas shopping in August.
Then we will be free to go on a
picnic at Xmas.
To find time to read all the best
books. Or else read a book on how
to find time.
To jump Justify out of bed as
soon as we awaken each morning,
and burst heartily into song.
To eat only the food we abso-
lutely need, and not look at the
cook with our stomach in our eyes.
To remain calm and composed
under all circumstances, even when
our shoe-lace breaks and we are
late for work, and when at five
o'clock on Wednesdays we still
have no editorial. Yes, even when
we forget and the alarm goes off
on Sunday morning.
To take a long brisk walk at
least twice a week, except when it
is raining, showing, foggy, too hot,
too cold, or too much trouble
To learn to jitterbug, drive a car,
eat turnips, play bridge, and pro-
nounce chrysanthium.
To take an adult education
course at school this winter, and
improve the mind. Oh, alright
what mind?
To retire early, answer all cor
respondence within a week, re
member to say please" and
"thank-you," smile violently at
everyone, answer the phone cheer
fully even when we have been OBJ
liged to leave the tub to do so,
KEEP our bureau drawers neat, and
wear pale hpstick, pale nail pol
ish, and fiat heels.
In other words, if we stick to
these resolutions, we will, as a brief
summary, reek Of responsibility.
What with Lee Slaughter and
Ray Smith sporting military uni
forms, all the young gals in town
are agog. Oh well there's some
thing about a uniform that gets US
all. We can remember, back in
the dark ages of our childhood,
that a motorcycle cop thrilled us
to pieces, and hotel doormen made
our young heart skip. Our first
trip to Annapolis nearly foored u.s.
Somehow, we can't remember hear
ing of any such feminine apparel
which so universally appealed to
the opposite sex. Not counting the
burlesque, of course.
1t would appear that some young
pranksters around town are a little
confused as to the season of the
year. Apparently they think this
is the Halloween season. Neva
Middleton spent hours decorating a
tree in her garden, and more hours
stringing lights and laurel over
the doorway of her home. One
evening she looked out, and the
lights were off, both on the tree
and over the door. Upon inspec-
ton, she discovered that someone
had unscrewed all the bulbs. Right
under her nose, too, for she was in
the house at the time. Since the
act necessitated a long reach, all
tall boys are under suspicioni
Jack CARTS, young son of Mr.. and
Mrs. Grant CARTS, proved himself a
hero and a true Boy Scout at
school last week. During the
Xmas play, why the Chimes
Rang" one little candle-bearing
girl caught fire to her scarf. Jack
had the presence of mind to snatch
the scarf from the girls neck and
trample it on the floor. A Boy
Scout had done his deed for the
day.
- -
A few mornings ago, little Davio
Hudson, first born of Bill and Bet.
! ty, decided to arise early. While
every one else was sleeping, David
to amuse himself, took a bottle Of
Betty's nail polish, mixed it witt
a new bottle of perfume, and ap