The Wilmington morning star., 1940-04-22
WASHINGTON

BY JACK

WASHINGTON, April 21.-If you think Of
fetal Washington had any linking of A. Hit.
lerIs Scandinavian blitzkrieg, think again. When
the news came, President Roosevelt was in
Hyde Park; Secretary of state Hull in Atlantic
City; Swedish Minister Bostrom and Finnish
Minister Procope We're attending a banquet in
Philadelphia; Danish Minister De Kaufman
vacationing in Charleston, S. C. Only Norway's
Minister Morgenstierne was on the diplomatic
firing line when the newsmen descended en-
masse.
The state departments first breathless mo.
ment came when word flashed around that
both Hans Thomson, German embassy charge
d~'affaires and Mr.. Morgenstierne were in the
halls of the battered, old-fashioned department
Of state building. Their meeting would have
provided a severe test of diplomatic etiquette.
They failed to meet--state department Off.
Gals started breathing again.
Speaking of he Scandinavian seizure: Now
you know what's in Denmark that's rotten.
Scene: Map department of the Library of
Congress.
Cast: Col. Lawrence Martin, chief of map
division. Your correspondent.
Act. /.
Col. Martin: Let me give you a third-rate
headline. You know that town in Norway the
N~astis-nastis, L call EN-, not nazis-took yes
terday?
Y.C.: You mean He'll?
Col. Martin: Here's the headline: Nastis Get
He'll.
Curtain
If you've never heard an old story put In
reverse by real-life facts, here is one:
Over at the U. S. Marine barracks, q score
or so Of the boys in blue were patting little
pasteboard oblongs in hip-pockets of their jeans
and counting the days until they could ex-
change them for one good seat at the opening
baseball game of the season.
Then somebody died-somebody pretty i'm
portant-a naval captain and that left a squad
Of the boys in blue out on a limb. Men at the
Marine barracks ~officiate as a guard of honor
at all marine and navy funerals. And this par
ticular funeral was set for the afternoon of the
baseball opener.
The parade of boys to the sergeant-maior's
office TRYIN TO GET OUT OF GOING TO
A FUNERAL TO GO TO A BASEBALL
GAME was endless. One excuse: my dress
uniform is in the cleaning shop The hard
hearted sarge's q~uick-witted reply: "Okay, Pri.
vate Jones, we'll detail Private Craig to the
guard-of-honor and you'll walk Mr.. Craig's
guard duty. You don't need a dress uniform
for that"
The fact that Boston beat the Mats 1-to-0
hasn't stopped the boys yet from demonstrat.
ing what it means to cuss like a marine.
There's nothing like the news you get in
Washington. The war in Europe cutters the
front pages. The war of the presidential can
didates and the battle of the elements in the
United States takes all the space that's left.
But the d%auntless interior department biologi-
cal survey issues the breath-taking bulletin
that Peanut and "Mudcut' out in Monroe,
Mich, finally got what was coming to hem.
Albert peanut Lazette anu Henry Mud.
cut" DuBay had, it seems, been shooting
w%histling swans. 1t may have been good shoot
ing but it was plenty bad business. peanut
got 80 days and $500; "Mudcut' got six
months, suspended, with three years probation.
A feud-mad neighbor turned them in.
What I want to know and can't find out
is what in Sam Hill you do with a whistling
swan once you've shot it?