Evening star., 1940-02-14
Cooperation
OfParents
And Child
Youngster Rebels
At Authority, So
Handle Wisely
By ANGELO PATRI.


Roy and his mother are not on
good terms these days and all be-
cause Roy, IS and a sophomore in
college; sits up later than his mother
thinks Is good for him. During the
Christmas holidays Roy did a good
deal of visiting and receiving visits.
He played hard all day in one way
or another, and continued to play
far into the night. His mother, who
had nursed him through one severe
childhood illness after another, was
frightened, and at last gave way to
panic. In the presence of a group
Of his friends, she ordered her 6-foot,
lf-starting young man to go to bed.
He did not go to bed. He took
his friends to night club and spent
the rest of the night away from
home. When he met his mother
sometime the next day they had q
collision Of minds, mistakenly termed
IAN understanding" in which both
said things better left unsaid. Then
a door slammed between them, and
remains slammed to date. Mother
feels very much injured, father says
it is her own fault, and Roy refuses
to say anything.
One of the hardest lessons a
mother has to learn is the one that
teaches her to accept the maturity
Of her children, and to resign her
self to seeing them make mistakes
and their departure from home and
homes authority.
The term allowed parents for
training child is brief, and it must
be used in its season. Once that
season is over. it is over for good
Nothing is more definite than q
child's separation from It's depend
ent state of infancy. Any attempt
on our part to prolong that period
through authority, or emotional
appeal, or financial pressure, must
end in failure and the complete
alienation of the child's affection
for the duration of the struggle.
When the child wins his spiritual
freedom he is satisfied, and he will,
If encouraged, return to his family
in friendship. That means that he
Is to be treated more as a guest in
the house, a guest beloved and hav-
ing special privileges. In return he
will show his appreciation in a warm,
friendliness. a willingness to listen to
friendly advice and even warnings
He will cooperate with his father
and mother in whatever plans they
have for the growth and welfare Of
the family, and he will rise to an
emergency when it comes. He will
respond as a friend of the family
might be expected to respond to
affection, to demands for response
bility and cooperation. But he can
not accept domination that says in
effect. Go to bed"
He may need to be told to 60 to
bed, but don't you do the telling.
Some snip Of girl" down street
can tell him and be obeyed, but you
cannot. He may be headed for q
mistake but unless he has been set
In friendly attitude toward you, be
careful about the warning you give
him lest 1t hint Of authority over
him. One Of his chums, seemingly
as reckless as he. can, and probably
will, tell him with good effect.
Why? Because this is the nature
Of the children Of men in their
growth. Girls and boys alike, must,
by the law Of their being. merge
into maturity Of mind and body.
They must, by the law of their
spiritual being. grow into upstand-
ing, self-sustaining human beings.
We have about II to Is years in
which to establish the principles of
character in the children with whom
we have to deal. The years to
follow test the soundness of our
work. Knowing the rules, we must
abide by them and do the best we
can, when we can.