Evening star., 1940-04-16
Teach Child
To Be Self
Reliant
Grave Harm Done il
Youngster Is Tied
To His Parents
By ANGELO PATRI.

The mental weaving of children
is much more difficult than the
physical one. A mother recog-
nizes Immediately that a child
must cease breast feeding or bot
tie feeding and learn to feed him.
self at the table but she does not
see the necessity for the mental
weaving that should begin about
the same time, or earlier.
All mothers love to serve their
children. They grow weary at times
only to start afresh at the next cry.
They do not know by waiting on
them. doing for them what they
might we'll do for themselves, let
ting them idle and fret when they
might be doing something useful
for themselves or somebody else,
that they are holding them in bond
age, crippling them for the life they
must soon face single handed.
He won't let me out of his sight,"
said young mother, pride strug-
Cling through hers:irritation. That's
all very well. but the time is coming,
maybe that very evening, when that
young mother wants to go out with
her husband, when she ought to 60
out. But the baby, tyrannical in his
demands, will not let her go. He
howls himself blue in the face and
she says, Il can't leave him."
That is bad for the baby and
bad for the family. Husbands and
wives need to go out together. They
need a change from the routine
of office and home and they need
to share each others pleasures.
1t is not right to allow a child to
absorb a parent. 1t does the child
no good and it does positive harm
to the family relationships.
Everybody is familiar with the
mother and son so devoted to each
other that every hour spent apart
is deplored by one or the other.
A mother cutting the meat on
the plate of her 15-year-old son;
another mother washing and ironing
the silk underthings of her 18-year-
old daughter who is idling about the
house, yaWning her head off because
she has nothing to do. well, she
can't spoil 50-cent manicure for
a bit of laundry work that takes
10 minutes. Why should she cook
when I'm here? After all, she is
young. Let her enjoy herself" True
enough, but why not teach her to
enjoy herself in feeling powerful,
self sufficient, useful? That is a
fine feeling too, especially in the
time of need.
One girl who was never weaned
from her mothers care married
and went housekeeping. The mar
riage is going on the rocks because
daughter goes back home to mother
for her meals and drags her hus-
band along too. She can't spoil her
manicure, she doesn't see the use
of cooking for two when mother
has a dinner for five. She just
can't get along without mother to
tell her what to do, how to do it
and do it for her.
Begin early. AS soon as the child
can hold the wash rag let him
hold it and feel himself doing some
thing important. Teach the chill
dren to work; teach them to relieve
other folks who work for them;
teach them to be self sufficient as
far as possible. Let them 60. Don't
bind them to their infancy.
Are you having difficulty teach
ing your youngster to be q good
sport? BE guided by Angelo
Patri's expert advice. Send for
his booklet, "Your Child and
Other People," inclosing 10 cents
in coin. Address Angelo Patri,
in care Of The Evening Star.