The Waterbury Democrat. [volume] (Waterbury, Conn.) 1917-1946, 1940-04-23
Walter WiHlcI1eu
On BN0adzCnv
CTFads RogistsredI Copyright

room chair and forgot all about
them In a few moments there
was a piercing shrek and the Pam
amama flew from her room look
ing for Shultz whats the
idea Of leaving your teeth on my
chair?" she barked.
'Oh," he said, you don't have to
get excitedw
WELL" was the snapper, you
don't have to leave them where
they can bite mel" e..
Harold Ross, the New Workers.
editor, tells a story which occurred
several days ago at the Oyster Bay
home of Col. T. Roosevelt, and
which further illustrates what nice
person Helen Hayes is Miss
Hayes, Ruth Gordon and Katherine
Locke were perched on a single
bench when Ross walked in. After
looking at the three actresses, he
said: There is the hope of the
American theater!" Miss Hayes
got up and, pointing to Miss Locke
the youngest of them, shouted: mo,
no-THERE is the American The
atre's hope!"
Bennett Cert, the book publisher,
tells about the lecturer in Germany,
who was saying that conditions in
England were terrible .. Why"
he said, Sin England they are even
rationing coffee!" A little Nazi
put up his hand and said: Please,
mister-what's coffee?"
Carroll Case remembers this one
from the last big war. The, Kaiser,
just before the war started, visited
Switzerland and reviewed the crack
Alpine troops of that nation. Walk
ing between the ranks, he paused
before one private and asked: What
would you do If I marched in here
with my army?" I'D shoot, Your
Majesty" said the soldier. "Of
course" said Wilhelm, but suppos-
ing I marched in here with twice
as many men as you have?"
Then, Your Majesty" was the
answer, II would shoot twice!"
Russell Swann's booking agent re-
ceived what he considered an in
sulting offer from a theater man
ager. He stormed into the man
ayers office and yelled: How dare
you offer the highest paid ma
gician in the world such little
money, you oughta be ashamed"
Little money!" almost screamed
the Snowman, why can buy two
Norwegian generals and an admiral
for that dough-"
Picturesque Reporting: DR.. Paul
Popenoe's: Whenever the value OF
a package exceeds that of she con-
tents-that's glamour" Ben
jamin Franklin $50 years ago: IF
you would not be forgotten as soon
as you are dead and rotten, either
write things worth reading or do
| things worth the writing" &.
Alternately in The Charlotte IN. c.
Observer: "New York City-Capital
of culture, currency, census-conges-
ton, commerce and conceit."
It takes six months to train a
soldier and eighteen months 10 build
a rifle factory-but it takes only two
weeks to lose country -. To-
day the U. S. is more unprepared
than were Czechoslovakia, Finland,
| Austria or Poland We have
no great military roads because the
U. S. army has always been rele-
gated mer6y to the path Of duty
.. The Army has never inter-
fered with our national life because
the sole purpose of the arny's ex-
istence is to see that nobody does !!
Constitutoinally, the Army has
the duty to defendant morally
it has the right to be armed :.
Europe's war has given the U. S.
soldier a new Importance. In time
OF war we will owe him. our lives.
In time of peace we owe him his
gun The American soldier
has not asked the U. S. Treasury
for a blank check-and so he de-
serves more than blank stare from
Congress In short, he must
have more than blank cartridges to
defend his life-and yours.
Adolf Hitler, for his 51st birth
day on Saturday, was presented by
the German people with birthday
present of tons of scrap metal :.
1T would have made lot OF pro-
pie much happier If the gift had
been just one little piece of lead.