The Waterbury Democrat., 1940-09-10
THE PRIVATE PAPERS OF A
 CIR REPORTER

CUB REPORTER
 In the Tavern last night this one convulsed some of us An elderly man had. a dog named Rover, which he loved dearly. He also had son at college. The son got into trouble gambling and needed $500 to cover his debts. He wrote his Pop say- ing he'd found a professor who could teach the dog to talk, for 5 C-notes The old fellow sent on the $500 and Rover.
 A few weeks later the wayward lads indescretions had him writing father for another $500 as Rover is getting on fine, he's learning to talk, but the prof says he can teach him to read for $500 more" :. The check was sent at once :. Then papa decided to pay the boy and Rover a visit by surprise. When he arrived he phoned his son, in- viting him to bring Rover to the hotel.
 "Oh," said the wicked one, '.Rov- CTS not so good today, Pop. You know that long razor you gave me for my birthday? Well, was shaw ing with it and Rover was sitting alongside me reading Winchells column. said: Yes, but was just wondering if your old man is still making love to that French maid at home" Well, Dad, when I heard Rover say that about you I took the razor and slashed him, and do you know-I think I killed him!"
 "FergoSsakes!" screamed the old boy, "aren't you sure?"
 The Mirror reports: "Flat Feet, Big Ears, Ingrown Toenails and even ugliness will not save Ameri- cans from the draft"
 That means you, Bernie.
 In the foyer waiting for "No Time for Comedy" to be unveiled, a clown told about the girl from the Mid west who was visiting Boston . She attended party, and one of the membahs from the uppity set asked the visitor: Where are you from, m'deah"
 I'm from Iowa." she replied.
 "I'm sure" purred the Bostonian condescendingly, that you won't mind my telling you that in Bahstin we call it Ohio"
 Add literary lace, the authorship of which eludes us now: "A politi- cal platform is just like the one on the back of the street car-not meant to stand on, just to get in on" E. Cuneo's: When you see the Vermont hills you look at God Himself!" .. A truck drivers sassy retort to a pedestrian who yelled curses for almost being run down: "Take it easy, Greasy!" Senator Tydings' comment in Con- gress about conscription: T would rather have it and not need it, than need 1t and not have it!"
 The Pasadena (Cal) Posts Char ley King colyums: Friends return ing from the East report that the war hysteria is quite something back d4C INV NACu4 y as alarmed. Some have chortled at the alarmist note in Walter Win chell's voice, and have discounted reasons for alarm on the part of Fasteners. Had conference Sat- urday with a New Yorker, now here. He is an American, educated at Munich. AS a result of the World War, he is an American reserve of- ficer. And he has contacts with American intelligence operators. And said that Fasteners have every reason to be disturbed. In New York alone, he said, Nazis and Fifth Col umnists are working openly, boast fully. So it is that we in the West should knit our brows over the situ- ation a. well as Emit sweaters for The Red Cross"
 The American newspaperman can take 1t. When a reporter arouses controversy about problem, he knows Democracy is working well. When a controversy arouses argu-