Coulee City dispatch. [volume] (Coulee City, Wash.) 19??-19??, 1940-12-12

u .MNu seryicel =
The Bystander:

VI CilC 1oVOl 1IC W0PA-
pers in the N. Y. U. school of jour-
nalism. It concerns an assistant
city editor on the desk of a Miami
paper. He had to take over one day
when his boss was, away. The as
sistant strutted into the city room,
took off his hat, and said, call right,
boys, today We'll use the regular
front page streamer!"
"But," gasped man on the desk,
you haven't seen what came int"
81 don't have to see what came
in," was the reply, to-day we run
the streamer headline we run every
day:
extra! COLD WAVE STRIKES
NEW York;
Haw!: Recently one of the a. m.
gazettes bought soft drink ma
chine. One of those gadgets into
which you put a nickel and out
comes a paper cup load OF cola.
The newspaper didn't want the darn
thing in the first place, but the sales
man broke down its resistance and
so the machine was relegated to the
composing room, where it was an
immediate success. In fact, the
boys kept the refiller working over
time.
Finally the coin collector came.
He opened the money receptacle
which yielded a jackpot of slugs and
a lone nickel. Apparently everybody
had forgotten that composing
room has an unlimited supply of
lead, which the boys get tired of
putting into linotype machines.
The Logic of the Week: From
FPA's Coming Tower in the N. Y.
Post: "Secretary Ickes is railing at
the press again, and we feel that he
doesn't know his stuff. He spoke of
the question whether a publisher
who pays for a columnist and prints
him has any responsibility. He was
reminded by reporter at the con-
ference that the views of a column
mist were generally held to be his
own and not those of the paper print
ing him Mr. Ickes said that theory
was the bunk. Well, Mr.. Ickes, it is
not the bunk. Any columnist that is
worth anything to his paper has
views which are his own it may hap
pen that they are in accord with the
papers viewpoint, and it may hap
pen that they are in opposition. The
tr,, Sc on111yooroiCt
doesn't know what the viewpoint of
the paper he is printed in is, espe-
cially a syndicated columnist whose
stuff appears in dozens of papers,
some of which are opposed political
ly and otherwise to the columnist's
expressed views"
Family Portrait: The Colyum's
unmarried daughter was doing her
homework in her room after supper
the other night. ooh, daddy" she
pouted, II have six pages to do on
communications
II don't envy you," said the Col
yum, but howja like to have to do
about 1000 words for the paper,
where lot of fussy people can see
it and claim they didn't get their
two cents worth?"
Eyes, I know, daddy" was the
retort apprehensive, "but yours is
only for the paper-mine is going
to the principal!"
Litree Note: Krylov, the great
Russian fabulist, according to the
New Republic, wrote of the Cuckoo
who congratulates the Cock on his
great gifts as singer, while the
Cock in turn congratulates the
Cuckoo.
But the Swallow, passing by, in
terrupts them: my friends, even
if you get hoarse praising one an
other, your music's bad"
You've Met Him: One of those
I-hate-everything type of skeptics
was supping at the Cog Rouge
when tablemate pointed out Pris-
ella Lane sitting nearby. "What do
you think of herr" the crouch was
asked.
He studied her moment and then
groWled: "Gwan, she's not THAT
pretty"
Meow: A cat fight almost start.
ed at Spivy's Roof when deb greet
ed ditto. "Oh, hellooo, darling!
I didn't recognize you from the
back"
"You should" fang'd the other,
"you've been talking behind it for
years."
Thunbnail Description: Edwin
Hartvich, the CHS Berlin CORE
spondent, here for visit, says Clare
Boothe is just another Dorothy
Thompson out of Elizabeth Arden.
In Fewer Words: Charlie Chaplin
says you waste half your life trying
to get the crowd and the other half
trying to get away from them.
OOpS!: Paul Harrison, the Holly
wood historian, credits Sir Cedric
Hardwicke with: "That fellows con-
science isn't his o,1ida ito bic ar