The Waterbury Democrat., 1940-11-06
Walter WincheII
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"A group or press agents were OlA= cussing Elise Chisholm, who in her press agent days was an official of their union She's now welded to Sing Sing Warden Lewis Lawes One of the boys described the war den's residence and revealed that Mrs. Lawes' servants are all trusties five convicted murderers .. How does she like married lifeP" someone asked Simply wonderful" was the response. "After all, she no longer has to be a press agent and mingle with newspapermen-she's leading a NORMAL lifel"
 Remember the quip here several months ago (and in dozens of other places later) about the woman who said to the salesgirl: These are very nice American flag pins. but haven't you got them in some other colors?" It was an Associated Press filler in the Monday papers Gas a factD datelined from Pueblo, Colo. Sign reported on an Italian destroyer: Swim, do not run to the nearest port" Eddy Duchin would have you believe that ten Italian planes were down over Hol- land after being attacked by wind milll Robert Rose of Tobacco Road" claims that all those one- minute musical commercials (heard between various radio shows) are nothing more than desk space with swing Definition of an Ameri. can: One who votes for the man he likes-and likes the American who is elected.
 They say 1t happened in Federal Court the other day. A prisoner from the Federal Penitentiary at Lewisburg, Pa, was testifying for the govt in an important case. The lawyer for the defense was cross examining and said, You're saying things about the defendant because the government has promised to free you. Isn't that SOP" The pris- oner replied, NO. I'd just as soon stay right there in the pen" You expect me and the jury to be- lieve that2" sneered the attorney. Sure" was the answer, Where else could a mugg like me get a chance to socialize with bankers and corporation lawyers?'
 The reddest face of the week be- longs to the New York committee women, who was greeting one of the candidates the other night {. After several glowing speeches about the man, 1t was her assignment to in- troduce him to the radio audience, and she said: we want you to know that all of us are working night and day--for your well-de- served Ejectionl"
 Why tailOrs go nuts =. Paul Hart man went to an East Side tailor for dress suit and spent all after noon on fittings .. Finally the tailor placed him before a mirror and beamed: There you are-what do you think of it?" Paul looked himself over and then blurted: Boy, do 1 need a haircutl"
 Sibelius, who notoriously dislikes critics (his famous crack is: "They never built a statue to critic) once was walking in his garden at his home at Jarvenpaa, Finland. II was a beautiful sunny day. The flowers were in full bloom. The birds were singing so very melodiously- their song filled the air. Just then crow flew by and called out: Cav" Sibelius turned to friend and pointing to the crow, said: "The critic"
 The British philanthropist visited a pursuit squadron and offered the pilots a prize of twenty pounds for every Nazi plane they knocked down. Two Canadian pilots were delighted with the offer and kept 1t in mind when they went on patrol duty. Fly ing over the Channel. they ran into Nag! air fleet of a hundred planes "Hurrayl" radioed one of them. "Our fortunes made"
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