Evening star., 1940-07-22
Pgent Reshes of All Kinds Are Bound Add Mea
Youth Has
Its Many
Problems
Boy Asks for Aid
In Overcoming
Shy Approach
BY KAY CALDWELL and
ALDEN HARRISON.


Dear Columnists:
At the close Of any gathering to
which the young people have come
alone. such as Young Peoples
meeting at church on Sunday even-
ing, or even a party how would q
fellow 60 about asking one of the
girls If he could take her home?
Perhaps 1t seems silly, but I could
never know just how to 60 about
this, or what to say. If I had a car,
perhaps I could just say Would you
like ride homer" But I have no
car: and anyway, I'd rather walk.
Can you give me some hints on
what to say or the proper form to
use, and how to lead up to it?
Thanks in advance.
There's no special form to be used
IN this situation. It's merely a mat
ter of getting the question asked as
easily and naturally as possible.
It's smart to make point of be-
ing near the girl and talking to her
as the evening Is drawing to a close.
Then you can inquire about her
arrangements for getting home in
the regular course of the conversa-
ton, without being forced to walk
up to her stiffly and blurt it out.
AS for the words too use, you
might remark, I'D like to walk
home with you. If you haven't made
any other arrangements"
However, you don't have to wait
until the gathering is about to
break up before popping the ques-
ton. Watch for an opportunity
during the evening. and when it
presents itself, say rs anyone TAX
ing you home? If not, I wonder if
might"
Sometimes it isn't even necessary
to ask in so many words. Often a
fellow can engage girl in an alb
sorbing conversation and just ma
turally leave with her, escorting
her home almost "by accident"
But this isn't quite so satisfactory
to the girl, and the fellow always
runs the danger of having some
other and bolder boy step up and
take the girl away from him.
Incidently, we don't think these
questions are silly, because we know
how many fellows are bothered by
this same problem. And there's a
hint for you girls. It may be difIi-
cult for you to believe that q big.
bold male could feel uncomfortable
about a simple matter such as this
but many of them do. So If
boy is hanging around, obviously
with something on his mind, give
him q little encouragement. He'll
be grateful If you make the ordeal
as easy as possible.
Dear Miss Caldwell & Mr.. Harrison:
For about two years I have been
going with a very nice boy, and I
like him better than the other boys
I date. My mother also approves
heartily Of him. He takes me out
quite bit over the week lends, and
is proud to introduce me to his
friends.
We have lot In common, but
he doesn't talk very much. When
he does, he speaks in such a low
tone that I have to say WHAT"
or Please repeat that" or some
thing OF the sort. This embarrasses
me very much, for I am a good
listener, and I hate to have him
think I am bored when he talks.
What should I do?
FRANCES v.
The situation is not your fault,
but the boy's-for talking in such
an indistinct way. Many people
are guilty of this unfortunate habit,
which is usually caused by shyness
or self-consciousness. You'll be do
ing the boy real favor If you help
him correct it, for it's undoubtedly
a handicap to him in his contacts
with other people, as well as with
you.
So don't merely say "What?" or
stead. say something like, Sorry,
Bill, but I just can't hear you" Or
ask him If he couldn't talk a little
louder. Get over to him the idea
that you are very much interested
in what he is saying. and that his
low tone of voice really makes things
difncult for you.
Since you know him quite well,
and like him so much, you might
discuss the whole matter with him
In a frank and friendly way. He
seems like a nice person. and he'll
undoubtedly understand that you're
not reproaching him. but are sin
An~A1,, (ax ixa ~ x,,n1fo~a