Evening star., 1940-06-18
Hospitality
Returned
In Kind
Send Some Flowers
When Entertaining
Is Impossible
By EMILY POST.

When older people living in an
established house-meaning a big
house which is easily run-ask either
young people or business employees
TO dinner or to supper, it rarely
would If ever occur to them to ex-
pect an invitation in return. In
fact, to have return made by some
one and then become aware that
real effort was being made to re-
pay their hospitality in kind. would
be distressing rather than pleasing.
This is written in all seriousness
to the many young wives who ask
what return they are expected to
make to invitations from their l1us-
bands employers. The answer quite
truthfully and honestly is. nothing
at all except to seem to enjoy the
party to which they are asked!
On the other hand. when young
woman is innately hospitable and
says that she longs to do something
IN return, and is unhappy because
she fears 1t might be thought i'm
proper for her to try, this puts a
rather different light on the situa-
tion. One such letter is the follow
ing:
MY husbands employer and his
wife invite us to dinner several times
each year. and we always leave
feeling that the evening was perfect.
Mrs. Employer is a lovely person.
She has that quality which you de-
nne as essential to great lady-of
making every one welcomed and at
ease. We are young married people,
living nicely but modestly. according
TO their standards. In fact. everything
around our place is what you might
call part time: part time maid
because I also work part time; sill
yer only partially collected; a china
set not yet finished: furniture good
but sparse. I wouldn't feel easy about
asking Mr.. and Mrs. Employer to
meal and yet I honestly would like
to do something in return for their
accumulating invitations"
Answering this: Certainly YOU
may invite Mr.. and Mrs. Employer
II you would like to do SOTO what
ever you have in mind. You must
nave an idea of seating them at your
table or you wouldn't be thinking
OF your silver and china and your
maids service. AS matter of fact
they are not going to be critical
or incomplete equipment. unless
your sense OF inferiority makes you
self-conscious. The point is. to do
whatever you can do nicely and don't
attempt what you can't. Be sure
that whatever silver or glass YOU
use Is polished. your table setting
inviting. Your menu has only one
requirement: Every item must be
good OF its kind. and appetizingly
dished. An invitation to SUNDAY
evening supper sounds simpler than
an invitation to dinner and it is
therefore especially disarming to
criticism.
So ask them by all means. But il
they decline, don't develop an in
feriority complex and imagine that
they are criticising your kind in
tentions On the other hand. there
are many ways whereby you can
snow your appreciation of their
hospitality-if you feel that YOU
must in spite Of the fact that no
such obligation exists. No gesture
is more charming than the thought
ful one Of finding out the date of
the employers wedding anniversary
or OF her birthday. and sending a
few flowers with a short note of
good wishes on that day. Remember
though, that an extensive display
would be much less pleasing to them
than a very small quantity of her
fayor1te flowers-if 1t is possible
to get them-which would empha-
size thought, rather than cost.
Dear Mrs. Post: Please tell me
what kind of stockings and shoes
my waitress should wear. She wears
black dresses with fine embroidered
white cuffs and collars and match
Ing aprons. I thought black stock
1ngs, but she seems to think these
too dark.
Answer-A medium gray looks
best, since they give the effect of
thinnest black. But a quite light
gray would be very pretty if she is
young or if she has slim ankles.
Black patent leather pumps are
smartest. but black kid much more
comfortable and equally suitable. In
either case, the heels, of course.