The Waterbury Democrat., 1940-04-03
SOUTH BRITAIN BRIEFS
BY BILL GARRIGUS

When tomcat is frightened, all speed records go by the board. Last week, George Mclaughlin rigged up a harness on Old Tom, his bat tered-eared feline, and turned the creature loose. Tommy let out one yowl and started for Nome, Alaska. A neighbours dog tried to stop him but lost the race. Tommy cut fig ure eights and sunfished like a bronc at a rodeo. Last seen of him was when he gave the ledge on top of Rattlesnake push with his hind feet and lit out for Poverty . But he came back, George gave him some liver, took off the harness, and Toms himself again.
 A good researcher is needed in this valley just to check up on all the fOlktaleS and strange events that have transpired here. Folks are still talking about the time Dea- con Bills ear frOze. Deacon was a little boy when that happened. The ear frOze when he was on his way to school and the teacher cuffed him for being late. As we get the story, that schOOl-teaching Squaw should have been ridden from town on a rail, because when she cuffed the boy his frozen ear fell off.
 (That's cruelty.) But they didn't phase the yOungster bit, he picked up the ear, put it back on, and it grew. Toward the last, the Deacon couldn't hear so we'll on that side and some folks claimed that ear was little out of plumb, but it heard the spring whisper of the Pomperaug, all right, and the mu- Sical bugle of that Hawkins fox hound in the hills. The Deacon didn't miss much, even if his ear was a trifle out of line.
 John SquireS, who ran the South Britain Bakeshop, claimed that the ear story was false. He said ears wouldn't grow back on, in fact, he was ready to prove it to anybody who would let Squires cut off an ear for an experiment. But John didn't know everything, not even about mules.
 MT. Squires went to Waterbury, Once,y and he saw that span of mules that TrOtts Bakery used to have on the cracker wagon Nothing would do but the South Britain Bakeshop had to have pair of mules. Every body advised against it, but John bought 8 pair and tried to break 'em to harness. He spent SO much time breaking those mules that a lot of local women learned how to bake again and, when he had the mules properly trained, there was no market for Squire's cakes, cookies, biscuits, and pies. The bakeshop closed.
 It was probably just as well. Johns best business came just prior to the introduction of packaged cookies, mass production pies, and cakes that mother wouldn't dare bake. Squires's Bakeshop flourished in most romantic period in Amer ican history. John made enough money to retire on, he enjoyed fooling with those mules, and he never had to compete with chain stores and out-of- town bakeries. The Squires' enterprise was just another of those backyard indus tries that showed Big Business how to manufacture.
 We've got another one down in the old tube mill. First off, that little group of industrial pioneers were supposed to be working on a new type of window frame, hOtbed sash, or folding blinds. But they have switched. Smoky JensOn peaked in the window the other night and he claims they are now manufacturing boats. People crit iciZed Miss Jennie Hinman when she made a motion in town meeting that no flag other than the Stars and Stripes should ever be flown over South Britain waters, but Miss Jennie knew more than the critics. Just think, suppose the Bund had stayed here at KettletOwn, and sup pose Hitler had started a Subma- rine factory right here beside the river? Then that motion would cer- tainly have had significance. We cannot be too careful. Somebody should check on that boat shop and make sure the output is for the U. s. A. and not for foreign pow CT. Smoky has promised further research and will report next time