The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1940-09-19


stoned and discouraging
~ letters I ever received
came to my desk some weeks
ago from woman named
Mary Baker. She is 80, has been
married eight years, and she
says she is scared.
'tDan and I married for love,
and for six or seven months we
revealed in our love and home
and Plans" she writes. "But
before the first anniversary Dan
was deeply attracted to one of
the nurses in his uncles' office.
He works with two dentist
uncles.
The affair worried him, made him
ashamed and unhappy; presently
the girl married and Dan got over
it. But it shook the ground under
my feet, and I never felt quite the
same confidence in him again.
'He was thrilled when our little
boy was born, and said he hoped we
would have three or four children.
But Peter was not a year old when
went away to the country for three
weeks and during my absence Dan
carried on an affair with a divorced
woman, who had always said she
was my friend. When I got home
he confessed that he had been car
ried away by temporary emotional
excitement, and that it was over,
but Mrs. B. came to see me, show
ing me a letter in which Dan had
written that if I would give him a
divorce they could be married.
Bears Sorrow Silently.
"This disguised me, and I had a
time of despair. For weeks / did
not speak to Dan, and as I would
not tell even my own mother of
what had occurred I had a lonely
and uncomfortable time. Eventual
ly we were reconciled in a sort of
surface fashion, and after some
months, convinced of his reform, I
returned to his room and enjoyed
a short time of confidence and
happiness. Our second son was
born, and Dan was so devoted to
all three of us, and so helpful and
patient that thought myself for
tunate woman, and that our troubles
were over.
my boys are now six and three.
And Dan is again in love, this time
with woman so cheap and ordinary
that it is unbelievable to me that
any man could fall for her, least of
all Dani
Marriage in the Modern Manner.
"Now, I know your advice. I've
been reading your column all my
married life. know all about being
Independent of anyone else for my
happiness, and building life around
myself and my boys. But what I
want to ask is, what is marriage?
If it is relationship that nine times
out of ten grows irksome and stupid
to both parties after few years,
and is maintained only because of
children, or society, or family dig
nifty, or business considerations, isn't
it a failure? Most of my friends
are already taking a sort of serio-
comic attitude toward their mates.
To a great many of them the sud-
den ending of the married state,
through any cause, would be great
relief. Don't you believe this is
true of all but the exceptional mar
riages? The husband enduring all
sorts of defects in his wife, the wife
setting her teeth to force herself
to put up with her mans limita-
tons, peculiarities and general
cussedness.
"What's the answer, if this is
true? Is wife to 60 on for 80
more years, blandly accepting, as
in my case, the fact that any fat
tering INSCRIPTIONS woman can
make a fool of her husband, break
up whatever happiness remains in
her home, give her friends chance
to pity or laugh at her, and then,