davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1940-01-26

less. It don't take long to get Gull
.baz' goat"
81 can't afford to lose Stoddart."
''I'll bring that big baby back as
safe as if he rode bathchair."
Every well, l will tell Stoddart to
go with you"
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1940-01-26

-a@@-12uusu-u>nr--uu.--
it and were sitting pretty when you
had to 60 and drag England and
France into a war with you.
Adolf FLOW did I know they
weren't bluffing?
WifeI told you they weren't
blufing.
Adolf-The same cid I-told- you-so-
stuff Stop harping on 1t. And get
this straight, England and France
can't scare me.
Wife-Be yourself! You know very
well you haven't had good nights
sleep in three months.
Adolf-I'm just nervous, that's all.
I'm going to win this war.
Wife-I wish thought so.
Adolf-The Allies will crack first.
Wife = That's what Wilhelm
thought.
Adolf-Anyhow, if you can't give
me encouragement keep your mouth
shut.
Wife-You can't talk like that to
me. I'm not Poland.
Adolf (sternly) Silence. You're
exhausting my patience.
Wife-That same old gag! Please,
try a new one.
Adolf-I've good mind to scuttle
you.
Wife-Listen, If your disposition
gets any worse I'll scuttle myself.
(And so into the mighty
PLEA FROM UNCLE SAM
("WiH Durant says america cries out for
moratorium ON reform. "-Nesos Iten,.)
'sI'm not so hot" cries Uncle Sam,
Sand far from on my toes,
But still I'm not as sick1y as
A lot of folks suppose;
] don't know what need the most,
But in the stress and storm
/ feel the thing / do NOT need
Is any more reforml
''They piled me with reform for all
My ailments and my aches;
They served the stuff for falling hair
For chilblains and the shakes;
They gave it if felt much worse,
Or If / picked up, too;
/ know I'd do much better If
I felt that they were through.
81 got reform when was cold
And more when / was hot;
! got it when ! slept too well
And more when did not;
! got it when my face was white
And when my face turned red;
Oh, what a blessing it would be,
To be ignored insteadl
It was Al below zero up there
where the Firms licked that Rus
sian division. Stain always said
it would be cold day when So
Wet Russia would find somebody
it couldn't Lick.
''Weapons must be definitely
struck from the hands Of the war
mongers and the dec1arers of war;"
Adolf Hitler.
That makes it unanimous.
Miami is having q "Library
week." Probably everybody down
there will drop in to see how the
books are doing this season.
Arrangements to restore the
~ CUNTS to their parents and put
them all together in their own
home are progressing. This car
ries out the general feeling that
children should at times get the
custody Of their parents.
et.a
OH, YEAH?
Within the last two years the eyes
Man" has almost completely dis
appeared from Hollywood, it is
claimed. We asked Hollywood di-
rector about this and he replied.
The Waterbury Democrat., 1940-10-24
Nae@eNY E
PATTERN 243 KIDDIE BROCK HAS BEGUILING TRIM

Wherever she pins that donkey tail, this winsime lass will win first place"-as far as fashion goes! For Pattern 243 is as captivating a frock as you could possibly find. It's a. Claire Tilden design that's un- usually simple to make with It's two straight panels at both front and back. You might use the panels on the crossgrain in striped fabric
 (see small views) for an especially decorative note. The neckhne IS childishly high and round, ana there's a prettily pointed yoke pe- low. Just see all the gay ideas for trimming! You might let pinafore lruffles flare out perkily rom the bodice seams. Or how about using dainty lace around the neck, the yoke and the sleeves? For an extra touch, sew buttons either across the front waistline or down the sides of the panels. However you decide to make this gay little frock, US sure to win compliments on your young daughters appearance wnere- ever she goes! Remember to re!er to the Sewing Guide for its concise directions.
 Pattern 243 is cut in children's sizes 2, 4, 6, 8 and 10. Size re-
 quires 2A yards 35 inch fabric. Send FIFTEEN CENTS (15c) in coins for this pattern. WRITE CLEARLY SIZE, NAME, ADDRESS AND STYLE NUMBER.
 Send orders to Pattern Depart ment. Waterbury Democrat.
The Waterbury Democrat., 1940-10-24
SOME OTHER CHAP WITH LONG
 WHISKERS

SOME OTHER CHAP WITH LONG
 WHISPERS
 Although I have been a Brady fan for many years, (writeS Mrs. E. S.) I still don't believe that you can turn a somersault.
 Crime out while I groan. Is the lady going to reopen the controversy between Webster and Brady con- corning somersaultO
 It dates back to Chicago at the beginning of the present WAR. I was a speaker at some sort of med- ical meeting how they happened to ask a non-medic to speak there I don't know--but having rare chance to talk to the medical men I related my experience with som- ersaultS or attempts at it. I had tried to across the bed, falling of, barking my shins and nearly dislo- eating my neck. Lillian Russell was there, and her nephew and my son had been fellow regimenteers in the Eleventh Engineers in France, so we felt like in-laws together. l said I was determined, if ever I met this Dr. Brady, to test him out ito demand that he turn me a sample somersault, just to see if he could manage it. A roar of laugh ter went up and looks and fingers turned toward a seat far down the table from me, and kindly person whispered that Dr. Brady was pres ent in person. So boldly asked that you step out and demonstrate the technique of somersauling there in the center of the room where all could see You pleaded that there were too many tables scattered over the floor for safety, and as the purpose of the meeting was to promote safety =.
 But still believe every word you write except about somersaults.
 (E. S.)
 Confidentially, Mrs. S., I'd never let such. impedimena interfere with my somersaults. But when you called on me to roll you few I was right in the middle of an in- teresting chat with Sir Francis Drake and Napoleon Bonaparte, and as it was the first time Francis, Bony and I had met since 1853.
 Seriously, unless was uncon- sciouS at the time of which you speak, Ma'am, was probably right here at home, rolling, rolling som- ersaults, lawn bowls or something. If some queer geek with 8 red nose and long beard impersonated me at the meeting it was just for fun. However, now that you and I are practically next door neighbors, Mrs. S., do stop in when you're
The Waterbury Democrat., 1940-10-24

around this way, any time. or if 1t is in the afternoon you'll ind me ever on he bowling green. I'll be delighted to roll 8 few for you or with you, forward or backward. Somersaults or bowls or both. If percnance you are still laboring un- der the misapprehension that son- ersault means a leap in which a person urnS heels over head with- out touching the ground with any portion of his body, please don't complain to me if you get hurt try- ing 1t. In the kind of somersault I advocate (for instructions send stamped envelope, bearing your ad- dress, ask for "By-LaWs of Soner- saultauqua"O the body never for an instant loses contact with ground or floor. And I advise turning them on the ground or floor-riot across the bed.
 QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS
 MoIes Removed
 I am so happy about the results Dr. -, whom you kindly recom- mended, obtained in removing the moIes. My face and neck and shoulders were unsightly with them. The doctor made nothing of it at all, used dichloracetic acid, and the treatment was practically painless and my skin is now smooth and free of moles or marks.
 (MfSs q R G1
 Answer-Thank you. The doctor has achieved wide reputation for his skill in correcting minor defects, blemishes or deformities which give victims inferiorty complex.
 Catching Something in Fresh Air
 Hygiene teacher puts up all the windows during the exercise period. Sometimes Q cold wind blows in. Once caught a cold like that. Please state whether one can catch cold in fresh air. E. KO
 AnSwer-You're less likely to catch anything in room where the air is cool and moving than you are in a room where the air is warm and still. If your neighbor, within five feet, has the cri, and talks with you, of course you may catch whst- ever your neighbor has. His or her to five feet when he talks.
 germ-laden mouth spray carries up
 Protected by John F. Dille Co)
The Waterbury Democrat., 1940-10-24
GlOriing Yourself
n Ancla HaEs
NEA Service Stan Correspondent

NEA Service Stan Correspondent
 If you simply cannot make your hair retain the lines the hairdresser gave it, or if you are convinced that you have not and probably never will have more than a few minutes of free time per day to devote to grooming, you might just as well decide to be the pretty, fresh-faced type rather than strive For extreme chic.
 Can't be Both Chic and Casual"
 The woman who is trying to be pretty in a natural sort of way isn't ruined, from an appearance point of view, when the curls at the back of. her head become unrolled and slip down bit. The chic type is. In other words, Hillary Pickford's $ back hair slid down little in the middle of 8 dinner party, Miss Pickford would still be pretty and attractive. But if, in the middle of a dinner, the Duchess of Windsor's coiffure suddenly fell apart or got fuzzy around the edges, the Duchess would no longer look chic.
 The ultra-chic woman looks care lessly groomed if her makeup doesn't remain flawless hour in and hour out. The pretty type can get away with shiny nose now and then.
 An extreme hat requires a chic coiffure, inpeccable gloves, shoes and other accessories. Unless you can live up to it, you're often better off with 8 smart but simple hat. Furthermore, it's better to decide to be something you can be all of the time than a type you know you can be only now and then. Better to be a pretty, attractive, fresh faced woman every single day than to be a chic one about five times a month and neither this nor that the other days of the month.
 Be Pretty and Let Who Will be Chic And don't feel sorry for yourself if and when you at least realize that you simply haven't the time or the money to be truly chic all of the time. Whats wrong with being merely pretty? Your husband or your best beau will be able to an- swer this one more encouragingly than even I can. Unless he is real sophisticate, the chances are ten to one that chic women frighten him. If urged, he'll probably admit that he likes pretty Ann Sheridan's type better than chic Barbara Hutton's. F. S.-Pretty is not to be confused with fuSsy- pretty. A decision to stop striving unnecessarily to be chic, and to be pretty instead gives you no license to adopt windblown coif- lures, frills and ruffles or otherwise fussy clothes or to decide that you can get away with being dowdy now and then.
The Waterbury Democrat., 1940-10-24

don't let anyone 1orget that you KoW what IS going on
 Right in the middle of conversation on football, or the new automobiles in which both the men and the interested you decide it is time to talk politics.
 can talk about himself and you start in politics ALL WASTED EFFORT
 You spend afternoon with Dora Fuzzybrain and give her lecture not keeping up"
 Someone you really want to make good impress sion on says he is for the candidate you're against and you bounce on him with the gleam of a fanatic in your eye You don't win vote, but you do antag- onze the very person you wanted to find you charm ing.
The Waterbury Democrat., 1940-10-24

"Now when I pass a food shop and see something in the window say to myself, That looks good; and then I go in and buy some, ? she said in 8 talk somewhat later. She overcame her habit of food rejection by trusting the word of the hospital chief when he told her that the body is made for food and can take care of it properly if the mind does not interfere.
 'There is not anything left that haven't sampled, or that I have any fear of," said Mrs. G. one day. T eat everything. If I doubt any food I instantly eat it. The only way I can do is to grab hold of the thing that is troubling me, and tackle it. It will get me if I don't. We want courage"
 Mrs. G. is now working, and working hard in a difficult place She has restored her weight to nor- nal. It was not easy to overcome the mental and emotional and phy- sical habits of years, but she took hold of herself resolutely, persisted in her effort, and as a result has begun a new career for herself.
 When Mrs. G. recovered the de- termination that she had lost, or rather developed a grit that she had never really had before, she made herself able to face life with all its difficulties and its unceaSing challenge, an to do so with a new health physically. She lost her food phobias and gained the mastery over her other symptoms when she developed new habit of mind. But she had to acquire the will to be well and the will to struggle.
 ] NET: Negative Emotions.
The Waterbury Democrat., 1940-10-24

ss
 Juggling family finances, putting of bills from month to month = that's the fix you get into when you have no safeguard for your spending. And the worst of not pay ing bills is that you fall more and more behind.
 There's only one cure-a budgetl Wise planning can call a halt to runaway bills, even give margin for pleasanter living.
 First, keep record of all ex- penditures for one month to see where your spending has gone be- yond the ideal budget.
 Take your rent bil. By cutting it down to the safe 20 per cent of your income that your budget recommends you may save a large sum monthly. But, remem- Der gasoline and carfare are items to be considered with rent.
 Food bills, too, may have been taking more than their fair 30 per cent. By buying foods in season, taking advantage of specials" you can eat just as well for lots less.
 With the money saved you easily pay back debts ard soon you can use your new margain for things you want-a home, fun.
 From our 32-page booklet learn how to budget your income accord in gto your needs. Gives pointers on buying, saving, getting what you want. Includes ruled pages for a years accounts.
 Send 10c in coin for your copy of HOW TO BUDGET AND BUY FOR BETTER LIVING to The Wa terbury Democrat Home Service Bureau, 635 Sixth Ave, New York N. Y. Be sure to write plainly your NAME, ADDRESS, and the NAME of booklet.
The Waterbury Democrat., 1940-10-24
BY WINFRED RHOADES

D4 NEO Nk1OfAOE0
 Although she is a large-framed woman, Mrs. G. had dropped to only 109 pounds in weight, and was eating so little that she was barely keeping herself alive. If she drank milk she developed an itching rash on her arms. If she ate wheat cer- cal she developed temperature, chills and sneezing.
 She had cultivated such habit of food rejection that she was eat- ing each day only bit of grape fruit, bit of oatmeal, and two spoonfuls of peas.
 She had consulted many doctors and been given many diets without relief. At one time she had been giv- en injections of iron and strychnine to keep her alive. From childhood she had been sickly and "practi- cally always in pain" She had had operations, and bad worked up many symptoms of many kinds. In her long search for health she had disposed of all her property, one thing after another, until finally she had only 66 cents to her name.
 When she came to the hospital she was told that her physical symptoms were not due to foods she ate but to the emotional state in which she received them. She believed what she was told. In one single day she learned to drink milk.
 Milk is delicious" she would say in her mind. A few days later enter ing the hospital she ate "a tremen- dous Christmas dinner-meat, vege- tables, mince pie, and so forth" She gained the power of eating without bad physical reactions by teaching herself to think of foods as need ed, as desirable, and as tasting good.
The Waterbury Democrat., 1940-10-24

o. Do you advise an all-wool blanket or one made of half-wood and half-cotton for winter use?
 A. We advise all-wool because the cotton blanket loses its fluffy nap and consequently much of its warmth after washing.
The Waterbury Democrat., 1940-10-24
MARTHA NO "sHANTY"

Martha ODriscoll, who appears as Daisy May in "LiI Abner," the screen version of Al Capp's popular comic strip filmed by Vogue Pictures for RKO Radio. is direct decen- dant of the first Lords of Baltimore in Ireland.
The Waterbury Democrat., 1940-10-24

Action and romance and thrills are provided theatergoers in vehicle starring Tim Holt. Ray Whitley and his Six-Bar cowboys, Emmett Lynn, Jane Drummond and Cyrus w. Kendall head the supporting cast.
The Waterbury Democrat., 1940-10-24

Ruth bitter argument and start political ments at drop of hat MEN DON'T "BRAINY" WOMEN
 You also forget the unhappy when than sentence speech and politics while the wonder weree given the vote.
 interested in politics That's duty citizen But don, make a POINT of it.
The Waterbury Democrat., 1940-10-24
WOMAN,S REALM E
IN A GOLDEN YOKE

-O-,9 CHARLES
 " ARMOUR : American de- signer. makes
 a simple
 black crepe
 frock dressy and important by putting on it an elegant
 gold Venise
 lace yoke, beaded in gold and blue. Iri- descent stone centers in the flowers in the
 lace design further enliven- this beautiful yoke. Sleeves of the dress are below-elboW length. The tiny, flower trimmed fur hat, atop the
 pompadour coifure, is per- feet for late afternoon and informal eve ming occasions.
The Waterbury Democrat., 1940-10-24
Of Interest To Women

should be made only when the hand contains a biddable suit and more Honor Tricks than losers.
The Waterbury Democrat., 1940-10-24

So to girl who loves existence I'd Keep our damnng that have M give takers The only people in this nothing give the grossly selfish egosts to death while they are dog It.
The Waterbury Democrat., 1940-10-24
Latest Styles
HO1C TO Keeb Well
R1 pR. WILLIAM BRADY, MN

heaIh and hyEIen s.s ts stnPed envelope s enclosed Letters snS.la ss column reply se made se Street. Chieaso Ills
The Waterbury Democrat., 1940-10-24

o. What are the requirements in Contract Bridge for an opening bid of Two in a Suit?
 A. This bid, which is forcing to Game, requires at least four (and preferably five). Honor Tricks and at least nine Playing Tricks. It
The Waterbury Democrat., 1940-10-24

dscuaaed publication will be in Write Miss Chatned In care or thus
The Waterbury Democrat., 1940-10-24

China will permit the shipment Of duck down from Chekiang prov ince.
The Waterbury Democrat., 1940-10-24
There's a Time and Place For Political OrationS, Girls
-O-
BY RUTH MILLETT

right ladies minds really politics politicians it.
 Rut ointment
The Waterbury Democrat., 1940-10-24

Yes there's such thing it's the best have and are going another thing in this life that we have more or tho more give CAr0OAANS 011AATA Ar4A"''
The Waterbury Democrat., 1940-10-24

Have you g household probleIn to solve? Write your question clearly, sign your name and ad- dress, enclose three cent pOstage stamp and mail to The Woman's Editor, Washington Service Bu- reau, The Democrat, 1913 18th Street, Washington, D. C., for c personal reply.
The Waterbury Democrat., 1940-10-24

We all know mothers they love their children admit they love friend better than people all believe in love and nvd op experience life to understand that love is something deeper attraction between boy and girl mehng wider than marriage something bigger than chemistry biol ocvan
The Waterbury Democrat., 1940-10-24
. YOUR NERVES
;jsgllisss|Es'asr

articles revealing typical thought associates at the Boston Dspensary, famous charitable health clinic.
The Waterbury Democrat., 1940-10-24
Caroline Chatfield Sqps Today
Love Favorte Topic of Conversation Among School
~ s-sA..sA R e RS o-

Love Favorite Topic of Conversation Among School
 Girls.
 Every year the college girls getting acquainted with another fets and jam sessions the letters begin this department asking questions about love whatever mong n the subject they like pest to discuss is LOVE- time out to talk about ovethee to be exact.
 thing love have been taught to believe ?" Love is what think It, feel It, ve I there For those Who imagine physical affair that's all it s and short lived too those greatest thing in the word made of everything l spiritual physical mental moral thing in the world: wOmans whole exnce
 All the poets their talents at defining love and definition because love such personal matter do his defining I'll stick my neck out and and have going out to anoer because will to give 1t put because some unknown within sets 1t free
 Naturally every would like her best to out to boy It's wonderful they do fall m a in each other the congenial mate Yet the end of Only yesterday nearo that she loved her mother better than exavaganty to greater terror of losing her. call that
The Waterbury Democrat., 1940-10-24

NET: Negative Emotions.
The Key West citizen. [volume] (Key West, Fla.) 1879-current, 1940-04-12
CHINESE MEDICINE

In magazine article James w. Ben
nett, former American vice-eonsul in
China, tells of some wonderful ''nedi-
cines" concocted and dispensed by native
Chinese.
He tells of prosperous pharmacy in
Hangchow which keeps a herd of deer,
whose. carcasses are converted into all
healing pills as needed. Powdered and
nodded into pellets, various parts OF the
deer are prescribed for various diseases.
Fevers are treated by pills made from
the hoof; those made from the antlers are
said to give strength to the weak; those
compounded from parts of the entire ami
NAL, including the hide, are guaranteed to
cure any ailment under the sun.
Deer are not the only contributors to
Chinese curative agencies. A govt remedy
is prepared from bear paws; preventive
of leprosy is derived from the baked
brains of a human infant; desslcated
lizards, snakes and centipedes, mixed with
honey, were highly recommended for in
ternal disorders; the powdered heart of a
tiger was said to give great courage to
those who partook of it.
Most efficacious of all in this respect,
however, were pills made from the heart
of a daring bandit, advertised thus:
''The famous bandit All Tsong is no
more. Should you not like to eat of the
heart of the brigand All Tsong and hence
forth fear no man? Come with surpris-
ing promptness, for only three of these
pills are in existence"
The Key West citizen. [volume] (Key West, Fla.) 1879-current, 1940-04-12
SOUTH AMERICAS NAVAL RACE

The defense of South America, against
aggression from the Eastern Hemisphere,
is generally assumed to be the burden of
the United States.
South American nations, as rule, do
not possess impressive naval strength but
armament expenditures are speeding up,
with Argentina, Brazil, Chile and Peru
taking steps to provide increased de-
lenses. -
Argentina ranks eighth among the
naval powers of the world and second in
the Western Hemisphere. It had two
modernized battleships, three of the finest
cruisers in South America, IL destroyers,
3 submarines, some torpedo boats, gun
boats, mine layers and auxiliaries.
Brazil has two 3O-year-old battle
ships, old cruisers, modern submarines,
is building new destroyers and has sew
eral auxiliaries.
Chile has a 25-year-old battleship, 2
obsolete cruisers, destroyers, 2 out-of
date destroyers and some auxiliary YES
sells.
Peru, the only other South American
country with a noticeable navy, boasts 2
30-year-old cruisers, 2 23-year-old de-
stroyers, a 1O-year-old torpedo boat and
lesser vessels.
Argentina, under President Ortiz is
constructing a news navy, designed to
guarantee the territorial integrity of Ar
gentina." 1t is in the forefront of con-
struction that might lead to something like
a naval race in South America. The Ar
gentinians do not believe that there are
sufficient forces to protect the "inviol-
ability of American seas and that "it is
not sufficient that law be recognized for it
to be enforced" Consequently, they con-
clude that geographical requirements
lead us to the category of maritime and
aerial power"