Evening star., 1940-01-10

Growth Is
Normal
Interfering With
Natures Ways
Hurt Child
BY ANGELO PATRI.

The growth of children is an irreg-
ular, uncertain, astounding process,
and 1t is better for us, who have
to deal with them, not to see too
much, not to hear too much, nor
get too close to the process. Ma
ture does not like interference at
any time. and although we must
help her work along in this artificial
world, she resents any attempt at
| forcing her hand.
No child grows up without taking
risks. No child grows up without
making mistakes. No child ever will
grow up without giving his parents
plenty OF trouble of one kind or
another. Rearing a child, however
good, is q hard and thankless task
at best and the easier We 60 about
it the better for everybody.
Children form in groups to gather
experiences from each other. Often
they are together an hour or more
with only a few minutes OF actual
play. The rest Of the time Is taken
up by gestures toward play, per-
sonal investigation of each member
OF the group by every other men,
ber. Lets play house" begins the
session.
mo. Well play movies. o, yeah!
Bandits! Huh. You couldn't be a
bandit. Who says? You be the
father and I'll be the mamma and
you-give me that stick. You hear?
had it first. Did your mother give
you that or did you just take it? My
father says you can't use my wagon
GWan, he did not. N you be the
baby and you can be the uncle. =" .
Where's my pistol? Who's got my
pistol? It is SO a pistol. - It's
only a stick. Just the same it's my
pistol II I say SO, isn't it?"
Out of this showing and hauling.
shouting and yelling, interruption
upon interruption, noise on noise,
a game emerges for few minutes.
Then chaos again. In this seeming
confusion rough words and rough
action bad manners, selfishness and
ill-used force abound. and the too
Watchful, too regardful parent is in
LOT DdQ tlMe.
Tommy. don't you play with him.
He's too rough. He hit you. Why
don't you come away from him?
Steve. I'll tell your mother if hear
you talk like that again. Tommy
you come in here" Then, in the
quiet of home she says to Granny,
"Those children are tough. I don't
know what we are going to do with
Tommy. I saw him just now push
the little Smith girl right in the
stomach and never turn round when
she fell down hard. He will learn
no good from them, but I can't
keep him home. all the time"
And keeping him home would not
help any. He would push and pull
and pick up every dramatic word
and act that touched him and lose
the training that the group gives
each other. They teach each other
more effectively than we can teach
them In matters of everyday i'm
portance like consideration of others,
sharing. helping, truth telling. They
call each other sharply to account
for any breach of the code and they
have a code.
The roughness will drop from
them like mantle when it is no
longer needed for their protection.
They enter the next stage of growth,
where more cooperative play is de-
manded. They are preparing for
team play. After that the play
merges into work and they are we'll
on their way to maturity.
Don't hear everything a child
says-that is, don't appear to. Don't
see anything he does-at least let
him believe you don't. Listen and
watch and speak only when you no.
tice some inappropriate action be-
coming habitual. Most of their
crudeness falls of along the way.