The Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1931-1952, 1940-01-12
SO HELP ME
BY JOE STATION

:" newcomer ? hSda lopSlueu IL ne
doesn't act like a human being
while being served or waiting for
service.
A little bitty man who cleans up
a local place of business threw out
a gallon of sauce the chef had in
a jar. When the chef asked why,
he said, II thought you were just
soaking the jar out, and so I pour
ed it down the drain" P.S. The
chef got SO mad he couldn't eat
and hasn't eaten yet-five days.
Everyone I've had my doubts
about from when they originally
came, showed his hand when
wrote about M. c. Chatman's con-
fession. To further prove my point
Mrs. Chairman baked some corn
bread and M. c. threatened to
leave home if she ate second help
ing. He wanted it all for himself
1t will soon be Mr. and Mrs.
William Dorothy Alexander Reese,
or sump'n, so it's being said.
When the cream of the crop So
ciety boy saw his lambie pie step
out with the SKINNED milk poor
boy, he almost died. In fact, he
shed coal dust all over the street.
LIARS CONTEST
Contestant DAVEY "ACKIT"
WILLIAMS: My uncle who lives
in Kent has one of the most mar
velous dogs ever raised. He is an
all-around handy man. When my
uncle isn't home the dog is master
of the house. He washes clothes,
cooks, and even makes beds. For
his amusement he likes piano play
ing and knows three songs, my
Last Goodbye" 1.-THE Jeep Is
Jumping" and "Stardust." the lat
ter is his favorite. There is only
one thing wrong with the dog. he
makes his own corn whiskey, and
is an habitual drunkard.
Contestant MRS. VIM. MON
ROE of 1417 So. M St., Tacoma:
ONLY A MATTER OF TIME:
The time was 3:15 a. m. Sunday
morning. I quietly turned the key
in the lock and opened the door it's
widest, realizing that I was four
hours later than what I had told
my husband then party of course) d.
1 gave the door a push and hurried
up the carpeted steps to my room.
1 took my clothes off, folded them
neatly, got ready for bed by brush
ing my teeth, washing my face and
hands, combing my hair, and last
of all said my prayers, praying to
God that my husband would not
wake up, and that could wake up
early enough to be to church on
time. After my prayer 1 turned
the light switch and snuggled
comfortable down for the night.
Then I heard the door slam shut,
heard the water running down the
drain-pipe in the bathroom, and
then the light went out-the time
was 3:15 a. m. Sunday morning.
MRS. DAVID BRADFORD of
Yakima says: She can smell per-
sons breath over a telephone.
BEORGE BRADFORD says: 1t
was so frosty in Seattle once that
it curled up all the rugs in my
house.
"SWITCHY" HEIGHT said that
things were so bad down south
that even the dogs get vouchers.
Latest reports are that Jerry
Hunts Christmas watch didn't
come from California but from
right close by in Seattle.
TONY" York was washing some
windows and they really needed it.
Now if some of the water had
dropped on Tony, everything would
have been o. k.
Mitchell says, 81 wish old Art
Head would return my hammer he
borrowed. I don't know what he
could be pounding for this length
of time without being through, ex-
cept Heads own hard head.
A car stood on hill one day,
Sumpin' happened and on its way
It went, and pretty soon my friend,
The car looked like a water-soaked
hen.
Papa? Yep, he almost died.
To tell the truth he really cried.
Daughter? She hid out someplace
Didn't dare to show her face.
When papa saw the cars old bones
He even swore by Dewey Jones,
He'd tan her hide and boy friends
too,
Until they looked like mutton stew
Remembering he didn't have to pay
The car was insured any old way,
He sent a rnessape if she'd come