Evening star., 1940-10-06


of practice. Having told child what
to do. having shown him once how to
do it, some of US then think he is very
stupid unless he can do it Immediately.
But it takes long practice; and to
force him to try to learn something
quickly can give a sensitive child
feeling of discouragement which can
do very real harm
The best way to teach a child to be
at ease with company is to give him
thinking part" in the presence of
visitors for short but frequent periods.
Yesterdays ideal training-school for
manners was the hour of the adults
afternoon tea.
Tie "Fos.oI HoK-Hovr"
fARENTs who believed in poIse and
charm and finished manners, always
insisted that the children be freshly
dressed and come into the living room
for their formal half-houI of the
day When there we're visitors, the
children's part was no more than being
among those present. They came into
the room, they made the rounds, the
girls dipped curtseys, the boys bowed
and all shook hands as they said:
How d'you do Mrs Smith," or
How d'you do Aunt Clarar'
Then the children pursued COM
pany occupation" They sat down and
one or two did puzzles. another looked
at pictures in a book or magazine, or
perhaps they all did knitting or. quite
possibly. two together played a game
of dominoes or checkers. In other F
words. they were not supposed to
enter into the conversation of their
elders. nor to have any attention paid
to them. They might listen if they
wanted to, and when they we're spoken I
to they were expected to answer
politely. They also learned to hand the |
tea for their mother and to pass the
cakes
This training in entering a room,
greeting strangers as we'll as family
and friends, courteously passing cakes
or cigarettes, or bringing up chairs,
going out into the hall with visitors
and opening the door and making
themselves useful, but never putting
themselves forward, was, and still is,
invaluable social training for children
"Pioyiss Hiqvsste"
Bur today in all the thousands Of
houses where afternoon tea is not a
daily custom. and where children have
no definite time of day cOnsecrated to
the formaIities. the next best training
in social ease is the game called
etiquette This is really the same as
playing house" the game in which
children enact scenes of everyday oc-
currence. The only difference between
GU
quette" is that the first is played by
children alone, and the second is
played, at least occasionally, with
mother or other grown persons show
ing how" to practice playing the right
way instead of the wrong
The most important rule of the
game is that Mother, Aunt Sylvia. and
Dad too (if he should ever play al
ways take children's parts or pos
sibly those of visitors In this way they
illustrate the behavior of the children
as it ought to be, or that Of visitors. In
any case, playing the game of etiquette
on rainy days will, little by little. give
the children well-practiced knowledge
of every formal as well as informal
situation, SO that they will be perfectly
at ease, no matter what real situations
occur.
Many younger parents are said to
think that teaching a little boy to bow
and little girl to curtsey is to en-
courage affectations- As matter of
fact, both serve a good purpose in
putting children at ease, because the