The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1940-07-18
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SELF-EXAMINATION FOR
MODERN AMERICANS

|
whether the national anthem is fThe
Star Spangled Banner" or Roll Out
the Barrel?
2-Have you yet reached the point
where you can scrap the idea that
your country is a grab bag, a rattle
or punchboard?
3-Can you examine your con-
science critically and deny that you
have regarded life as a merry gam
BILE for so long that when anybody
mentions 1776 you instinctively yell
"Bingo!"?
4-Have you permitted yourself to
grow into a mood which made it
easy to define minute man" as
| somebody who was too slow to put
over a fast one in As seconds?
5-Do you ever think of Lexing-
ton, Lincoln and Liberty as merely
the names of automobiles?
docs it shame you to discover
that while you don't know the words
of 1.-THE Star Spangled Banner" you
can repeat the chorus of the latest
suggestive comedy song hit?
2-Have you subscribed to the
| idea that man who works hard
is sucker and that anybody who
is so interested in his job that he
comes in at and sometimes works
after p. m. should be reported to
the NLRB?
3-Have you ever stopped to ques-
ton whether Molly Pitcher or Betsy
Ross would have gotten much fame
today if they had never been known
around the night clubs?
4-Have you ever made any seri-
Gus protest at the polls against lar
cenous political machines, crooked
politicians, fence straddlers, mud
dle-headed congressman, cockeyed
demagogues and professional gravy
| hunters?
HAS your general attitude
toward corrupt politicians been,
well, they all do it, don't they?
He's swell fellow personally"
2-Are you as well informed about
the lives of John Davenport, Nathan
Hale, Captain Prescott and the
Green Mountain Boys as you are
about the lives of Al Capone, Dutch
Schultz, Tommy Manville and the
Reno girls?
3-Can you love "thy rocks and
rills, thy woods and tempted hills"
unless you're in a pleasure car with
somebody footing the bills?
Ais it your idea that you are
doing your bit for your country
when you pay the cigarette taxes,
take off your hat to the flag and
pay go cents to have the radio fixed
so you can hear one-third of a pa
triotic appeal and two-thirds of Fib-
Der MCGEE?
1-Can you read the careers OF
Washington, jefferson, Jackson,
John Paul Jones, Farragut, Perry
and Ethan Allen without ever think
ing, who took care of the business
when they were away"
2-Have you ever read the Consti-
tuition with one-iftieth as much in
terest as you always read list Of
sweepstakes results?
3-Do you still thrill to a Sousa
march or does it take something by
Cole Porter to give you a real lift?
+Could you ever be a minute
man without first wanting to know
what the pay was per hour?
FIRE-HATING MAYOR
SCI hate fires. In spite of what
you have heard, I really hate to go
to them. Mayor Fiorello LaGuar-
dia of New York in the magazine
C"Look.")
Oh, keep my helmet near my desk,
And keep one near my bed
A fire may break out and it's
The sort of thing I dread.
My boots, oh, see that they are near
Wherever I may be;
hate to go to every blaze
How it depresses mel
That siren on my private car
Please see that it's in shape,
For I must speed to fires though
I wish I could escape.
Whenever something's burning let
Me know without delay,
For must rush straight to it though
I'd rather stay away.
NOT A LEG
The DuPonts have abandoned the
claim to exclusive rights to nylon
hosiery. Recent antitrust decisions
convinced them that they hadn't a
leg to stand on.
Three drinks make a man a dam
gerous auto driver, an instrument
has demonstrated. That's an under
statement. Nine out of ten auto
drivers are dangerous, wet, dry or
medium.
RECIPE FOR POETIC
GREATNESS
Work hard and study and get writ
ers' cramp;
Some day In whiskers you'll be on
a stamp. Grace S. Stevens.
ADD SMILES
As neutral as waiter delivering
the dinner check.
As neutral as someone else's face
powder on your husbands lapel.
As neutral as newsreeI.
As neutral as political caucus.
Gene King.
David Sarnof says the day may
come when everybody will have an
individual radio wave length, Just