Glacier County chief., 1940-01-12

have our Jokes about piccolo players;
as "having more friends than there's
fiddlers in he'll"
When the cowboy was ashamed, he
described himself as proud as lost
sheepherder." Sheep furnished fuel to
his wrath and expressiveness to his
tongue. The acme of ugliness was to
him "homliern a sheared sheep" He
often said that a sheepman has al
ways got crouch and a Waterbury
watch, and when he amt a-nursin' the
one he's awindin' the other" An on
merry" person was described as SO dis
agreeable "a sheep dog couldn't get
along with him." The meanest man a
cowboy knew was one who was low
down enough to carry a bucket of
sheepdip." OF a deranged person, the
cowboy said, "his brains has pulled
their picket PIN" and If he got worse
Such person was so thick 'he couldn't
drives nails in snowbank."
"Cold as a Well-Digger"
If the weather turned bad, the cow
boy described himself as cold as a
well digger in Montana" and when it
turned cold in that state it was said
you could set out a bucket of boiling
water and have hot ice in minutes"
When it really got cold, the cowboy
said it was colder than a bartender's
When it comes to describing pretty
girls. Hollywood could take leaf from
the cowboys book. Pretty as a basket
of chips" meant a winsome lass;
pretty as a painted wagon" described
one who was definitely a charmer;
pretty as heart flush" referred to
one who had glamor as well as Sc
ductive charm; one who was soft and
pretty as young calls ear" was much
more than a sweet young thing; while
a girl who was ''prettier'n a spotted
dog under a red wagon" really had
oomph. If the cowboy were in love
with the girl he said she was SO sweet
bee trees is gall beside her"
Poetry and unmistakable meaning
existed side by side in the cowboys
talk. There was never anything half
hearted about what he had to say. If
a man was big he was big enough to
thin he looked like "he had only one
gut" or he had to stand twice to
cast a shadow" or "he was as CANT
as Quilted snowbird." If he was short
he was short as the tail holt on a
bear" If he was hard to get along
with he was 'sociable as an liberated
tooth"
When the cowboy was happy he was
happier than a lost soul with he'll
in a flood" When he was unhappy
his luck was runnin' kinda muddy
OF lazy person, he said 'molaSses
wouldn't run down his legs" OF a
the grit like the devil beating tan
bark A noisy man made more noise
: than a jackass in a tin barn" If the
J night was dark, 1t was "darkern the
inside of a COW" or "blacker'n a stack
of black cats" When the weather was
dry it looked like hell with the folks
moved out" and there wasn't enough
!, grass to chink the cracks between the
ribs of a sandfly" When it was hot
it was "hotter'n burnt boot" or the
: underside of a saddle blanket after g
: hard ride" A windy fellow had more
; lip than muley cow and he coulc
"auger a COW out of her calf" Wher
the cowboy left in a hurry he "curlec
: his tail" and punched the breeze" anc
E he didn't stop for no kissin'.'
When Cowboy Was Angry
t When the cowboy became angry hi
S got mad enough to eat the devil with
4 his horns on" and "gritted his teeth
: like he could eat the sights off hi:
i six-gun." In inviting trouble he said
= spread" His opponent answered, HOP
l to it! there's nobody settin' on yel
!. shirttail!" When he went to a low
:. dive, it was so low that rattlesnake
would be ashamed to meet his mother
l and with every five drinks they got
v OIlt SIldhe Tree. II Ills luCh was DdC
e he lost his money like he had hole
l in his pocket as big as pants leg
! The cowboy was philosophical anc
could get along without much senti-
ment. When a comrade met death ir
e prairie fire, it was fried gent" anc
= nothing more elaborate. OF anothe,
!, cowboy whom he admired. he said
5 Gold was plain dirt alongside OF him.
} His philosophy was summed up II
: such pithy expressions as real bottom
= in a good hoss counts more than hi
i riggin'::" you can never trust women
: tenderfeet. nor fleas," and when II
doubt trust to yer boss"
If the cowboy became confused. h
said he got his spurs tangled" Never
4 theless. he did not go fightin' the bi
II without KNOWN what's hurtin' him.
II II he didn't understand the meaning
Of remark. he would ask you Ito GU
the deck a little deeper" or ''woult
you mind ridin' over that trail again !?
The height of patience to him wa.
calm as toad in the sun" If !
y solemn as a tenderfoot trapper skinnin
a skunk" Anxiety was described a
!; worried as bullfrog waitin' for rain
in Montana
When the cowboy was plumb brok
it could be said of him that hes solt
# his saddle" for his saddle was tn
I last thing that the cowboy parted with
= When the cowboy died, he ha.
n sacked his saddle" and "cashed il
4 his chips" Sometimes he had to tel
a his partner to tighten the latigo OF
# still alive and it keeps his memoir
- living and with it the spirit of tn
Il old west.