Evening star., 1940-04-29
From the
Press Box
Dodgers Appear Headed
Both Ways at go M.P.H.
BY JOHN LARDNER,


NEW YORK, April % (NA.NA).
Leland Stanford MacPhail, chief
tain of the Brooklyn Baseball Club,
Is an up-and-coming schizoid. His
split personality is on display daily,
wherever the Dodgers play ball, at
no extra charge.
Neighbor MacPhail is a modern
water fixture, running hot and cold.
He is Schopenhauer and Pollyanna
rolled into one. He combines the
duties of cheerleader and prophet of
doom for the team, while selling
outfielders with his left hand.
The Dodgers still are hot as a
bonfire at this writing but L. S..
MacPhail says gloomily that the
conflagration soon will be out
Don't fool yourself declares the
Flatbush leader shaking solemn
finger at the audience. This club
is not as good as it looks. We
haven't chance in the world of
winning the pennant We have
fundamental weaknesses. When the
doubleheaders come along, our
pitching is liable to be shot to HI.
All, me, what a sorry lot we are"
says Leland Stanford Macphail.
Parcel Of Dismal Buns,
MocPhoiI CIoims.
There is not a dry eye in the
house by this time, and the inter-
viewer is forced to agree that the
Dodgers certainly are parcel Of
dismal buns.
Your outfield is shaky," says the
interviewer.
What arc you talking about?"
roars l.. S. MacPhail, bounding from
his seat. Whats the matter with
my outfield? Young Charley Gilbert
is ball-playing fool. Vosmik and
Cullenbine are clouting the ball.
What's the matter with my out
field?"
Nothing says the embarrassed
stooge. But"
Show me better outfleld,"
clamors MacPhail And show me
better infield. That infield is the
best in the league. OF course" says
Leland Stanford thoughtfully, Law
agetto is fragile guy, and his legs
may chip any minute. I don't
know if Reese will hit. Durocher is
getting old. Coscarart doesn't go
to his right the way he ought to. I
wish Camill would stop striking
out
Yes" says the interviewer, en-
coura ged, "a lot of things can hap
pen to wreck that infield of yours" :"
That's what you think" says
Leland S. MacPhail rudely.
His Viewpoint Switches
From Bright to Dark.
I do not believe that MacPhail
runs hot and cold by prearrange-
ment. His is a true schizoid per-
sonality. and his viewpoint switches
from bright to dark and back with
the infallible regularity of a metro
nome.
II can tell you say the fuehrer.
relapsing into gloom, that we will
be powerful lucky to finish as high as
third this year. We've been picking
on the cripples in our league (Mr.
MacPhail generously includes the
New York Giants in this category !,
but that won't last forever. Wait
till we hit those Western clubs.
Their pitchers and their hitters will
have caught up to each other by
then and we will be dead ducks"
"You feel then," says the inter-
viewer cautiously, that your pres
ent team is inferior to last years,
which finished third?"
Don't be ridiculous!" yells L..
Stanford MacPhail. This is twice
the ball club we had last year, my
chuckle- headed friend. This is a
team of destiny, sweeping all before
1t. Who's gonna beat us? The Car
dinals? The Cardinals have 6,224
weaknesses, which I now will point
out to you one at time. Yes, yes,
permit me to do so. I insist. No.
is"
Some time later Mr.. MacPhail,
having pointed out the weaknesses
of the Cardinals, Cubs, Reds and
Pirates, totaling 1885, reflects bit
terly that the catching on his own
team is not all it should be.