The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1940-07-25

poverty continually, and reminds all
our friends that Paul left her moth
ing, and but for Phil and Brownie
she would starve. It hurts me to
have my fathers memory belittled,
and it hurts Brownie to be continu-
ally smiling off her lavish praises
in public.
cat any suggestion of her NOV
ing to separate quarters she all but
collapses. 1t never has been seri-
ously suggested, but her constant
where would be but for these
dear children of miner gives me the
chills whenever I nerve myself to
propose it. When an old friend was
ousted by her children a few years
ago Mother said In Fanny's place,
I'd kill myself She meant it, too.
Things are very bad just now
because she resents my having an
other child. I was quite i'll when
Browning was born, but it was be-
cause I had had severe flu and was
badly run down. Now I am in per-
feet condition, and hope for sew
eral more children. Will you tell me
what I can say or do to smooth out
this really uncomfortable situa-
tion?"
A Threat to Happiness.
can only tell you, Philippa, what
I have told countless other young
wives in this column. Your mother
doesn't belong in your home any
more than does any other inconsid-
crate, selfish old woman. Her pres
ence there is threat to your hus-
bands affection for you, and your
own married happiness. When your
mother was prosperous and had an
establishment and servants, it new.
er occurred to her to save, to plan
for this hour. She enjoyed luxury
and extravaganza; she expected al
ways to be protected and important.
Well, life isn't like that. All OF
us outgrow our usefulness and inn
portance, and the only thing to do
is to realize it, to get out of the
children's lives. To love, to help,
to advise when they need you, that
is the great privilege of age. But
to fasten parasite-like upon them,
blandly upsetting their domestic ar
rangements, blandly delaying and
complicating household affairs, COM
planning, criticizing, spelling the
children, requesting endless favors,
commanding bored interest-this is
to do for your own children a dis
service that even their deadliest enc
mics would not attempt.
This good lady should move her.
self and her affairs to the cottage
aforementioned, and see her daugh-
ter only when that daughter can
find time to run in for visits. If the
long-suffering son-in-law can make
that monthly allowance SIS, which
under the circumstances he will
probably be only too eager to do,
then Mother can live quite comforta-
bly,, and enjoy real independence
for the first time.
Solution Requires Firmness.
All the time she will know in her
heart that she DOESN'T BELONG
IN HER DAUGHTERS HOUSE. All
the time she will remember per-
fectly that she couldn't stand her
own mother-in-law, 80 years ago. All
the time she will be aware that
Brownie is steeling himself to force
Philippa to keep to her resolution to
get Mother to move out, and that
Philippa and Brownie will have an
angry battle of words about it when
they are alone.
But this is hard change to make.
Hearts are too soft, and the in
genious wiles of selfish old lady too
insidious, to make it easy. She may
weep. She may ask what she has
done to be turned out? She may
plead that she is all alone, and she
loves them so!
Just the same, if Philippa can
nerve herself to repeat persistently
and kindly Lets try it, Mother, and
see how it works." she will find her
own happiness returning and as
sured once more. And to her sur
prise-and Mother s-she viii find
Mother infinitely happier, too.