The Waterbury Democrat., 1940-04-04
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 Rene Dussaq che deep-sea diver ana former Hollywood stunt-man, has just returned from South Amer ica with this story .. Dussaq was sitting in a cafe in Caracas, Ven- ezuela, a couple of weeks ago and noticed two pretty senoritas engaged in animated chatter. He was too far away to hear, but suddenly there was a big commotion around the girls table; an ambulance was sum- moned, and a tall. distinguished looking man was taken to the hos pital Dussaq later learned that the Senoritas had tiffed and one said to the other: You're as pig-headed as Hitler!" An attache of the German consul's office in Caracas happened to overhear it. Without a word he slapped the girl (who had made the crack) across the mouth. He then took out his card and pre- sented it to her, saying: If you have any brothers or male relatives I shall be glad to meet one of them on the field of honor"
 The senorita, her mouth bleeding, stood up and read the card. T have no male relative" she said, "but here's my card!" .. AS she said it, she picked up a cola bottle and struck him on the head with it-a mighty sock, too. The Nazi fell to the floor, and somebody called an ambulance DuSSaq adds that the incident swept through the nation and inspired this say ing: "You can stand up for Hit Ter but not for long!"
 'F. D. R.'s 'cold' is intestinal flu" From this column Sunday night, March 31st.
 Eighty per cent of the column tsts," said F. D. R. "are right 20 per cent of the time, and 20 per cent of the colunnists are wrong 30 per cent of the time"
 "The White House today con- (irmed reports that the Presidents real illness was intestinal flu."- From all front pages of April ].
 Picturesque Reporting: John T Graves in the Birmingham Age Herald suggests the Democrats nom- mate Hull for President and FDR for vice president. Because thel, the 3rd term issue would be avoided the ticket would have Roosevelt's prestige behind it, and after the election the Republicans would keer as quiet as mice for fear of worry ing Hull to death and getting FDF again" Critic Whipple in the W-Telly: "It always has been ar axiom of criminology that the mur' derer return to the scene of tht crime. That is nonsense. The mos hardened criminal would no return to this one" .. The Holly wood Reporters nickname for Or son Welles: Little Orson Annie Considering his many eccen' tric activities, how about Orsor Buggy?
 Oracle Allen must be heartsici listening to some of the Whit House candidates-realizing that he clown candidacy will never get a many laughs as theirs Rep Welch of Cal. told Congress hi state is "bankrupt" :. One hear times are SO tough they are usinj only the first four letters of tn state-slogan: "Sunkist" Naz mouthpieces yelled Scoop" whel "secrets" dug out of the Polisl archives allegedly showed the Unite, States officially roofing for the Al e lies to win They could hay waited until Sunday and read tn same sentiments in the Gallup an other polls Iz Elinson says It just a trick. Cromwell makes every body jittery with his speeches, an Doris Duke sells cigarettes to qu1e their nerves.
 Unfair Play Dept: When variou critics were rapping the FBI re gently, the newspapers featured tn attacks on their front pages, bu when Att'y-Genl Jackson booste the FBI in speech of vindicatio that news was relegated to incon spicuous spots on inside pages |. A Sunday Times book-reveiwer say