Evening star., 1940-12-15

Grande."
Garner: Jaw, come. Brother John
no hard feelings. amt forgotten
how you helped out me and paw
four years ago. Join me now down
in Uvalde, down on the Rio Grande
It's an easy life. I got lots OF
chickens. They scratch up the
worms and use 'em to 60 fishing
with"
Lewis: "Still the champion Of big
business, supporter of mass pro-
duction. And still the foe Of labor
No. Perish the thought. All the
worlds a stage and I must play my
part. Verify will have my exits,
but verify I will have my entrances,
too"
Garner: From now on you'll
come in by the side door,"
Lewis then rushed with oratorical
flourishes. into . soliloquy which
ends with this:
There were but two who trod
The Stage Of Fame to win name
"And the other one was God"
A Democratic skit was laid on
the campus of Old Electoral College
where beneath 3 moonlit sky q coed
and her boy friend sang q duet to
the tune Of The Sweetheart Of
Sigma Chi
The man Of our dreams is the
grandest guy.
"Of all the men we know
Each Democrat was aware OF that
After the draft did blow.
THE charm Of his smile and the
Tilt Of his voice.
Can turn darkest night into day,
And the White House key stays
with Franklin D.,
Hes the sweetheart Of U. S. A."
"The Greatest Quarterback"
The lights came up brightly, and
"Bruiser" Flynn enters, leading the
football team Of which he is coach,
and a bevy Of co-eds and boys.
The boys and girls have gathered
here" the cheer leader announced,
TO honor their great football
heroes, the four horsemen, Kelly,
Nash, Hague and Crunap, and the
greatest quarterback Of all time,
not even excepting Singing Sammy
Baugh.
Coach "Bruiser" Flynn orders his
team through signal practice, and
the quarterback called signals: One! !
Two! Three! Fo-!"
"Just a minute, baby" Coach
Flynn interrupted. I'VE amt for
certain we'll try that play"
Flynn had trouble getting the
team in line. why can't I get you
guys in line?" he asked. Look at
that sweet baby Of q quarterback.
Maybe he thinks he don't need no
support, but he may find out Diff
ferent. Who the hell coached this
team last season."
The cheer leader jumped out In
front, shouting: "Students!" And
the students roar back: "Jim
Farley"
Very ser1timentally, Old Electoral
Colleges Glee Club and chorus
sings:
Dear Old jim, the team goes on
without you.
Dear old Jim, We often talk
about you.
The ballots still. are falling,
And they all are cast for him;
Just as you used to call them,
Call them for him, Dear Old
jim"
Whereupon the cheer leader
shouts up cheer:
Tax. tax, tax, tax.
Spend, spend, spend, spend.
Elect, elect, elect. elect.
Ra-a-a-a-a-y!'
The coach promised Old Electoral
a good team for next year.
The cheering section began to
shout: I'VE want the quarterback.
We want the quarterback. We want
the quarterback"
Coach Flynn okehed the calling of
signals. and the quarterback
crouched behind his line and cried:
Signals: Nineteen thirty-two,
nineteen thirty-six, nineteen forty
nineteen fourty -four 1" 4" !"
He snatched the ball, runs off,
tackle and to the front of the stage,
and sings:
From the salt flats in old New
Jersey,
And from the smoky hills of
Tennessee,
To the rock ribs of old New Hamp-
shire,
They always 20 for me.
From the pine trees down to the
palm trees,
And through that windy town In
Illinois,
I'm not a boaster, but coast-to-
coast, sir,
I'm just the all-American boy"
"Uncanny Inaccuracy Of Polls"
Conductors Of the various pre-
election polls felt the glow Of the
gridiron when an announcer said
that "one of the wonders of the
recent political campaign was the
uncanny inaccuracy of the count
less scientific polls" He explained
that since a determined search
failed to produce a single genuine
straw voter, the Gridiron Club had
to enlist its own A rustic couple
come on stage, followed soon by a
poll-taker, who explained he repre-
sented the "Galluping Pathfinder
Poll"
II just want to know your opinion, :"
the poll-taker says. Whom do you
think will be elected.
"We-l-l-l, Roosevelt's still putin
out. amt he?" the straw voter asks.
Nov, who In your opinion will
be the next PreNdent?"
You done axed US that one" the
old woman interjected.
mo. I didn't" the pou-taker said.