The Waterbury Democrat., 1939-02-14
Today's Sport
 Parade
BY HENRY MeLEMoRE
United Press Staff Cerrespondent)
 AboafA A Q. Mataofia. Honolulii

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 Aboard g. 6. Matsonia, Honolulu Bound, February i4. - tUP) - Either the officers of thb ship are wrong or I am. Never being one to take things for granted, aues- toned the position of this ship as posted by them ct noon today and sat down in my cabin to figure 1t out for myself. They were nice about giving me oil the available data, and for tho last three hours l have been ehafting our position. l overlooked nothing, North Star, sun, time, date, etc. Furthermore, l am sure l made no mistakes in arithmetic. The very fact that l don't see how I could be wrong Is what is worrying me, because, ac- eording to my calculations. the 8. 6. Matsonia, right this minute. is just fourteen and three-auarters miles outside Of Muneie, Indiana.
 I hope that the ships officers are right, because I would much rather SO to Honolulu than Muncie. Not that I don't like Muneie, because l do. Thousands of my best friends live in Muneie. But feel 1t would Do too much of an imposition to drop in on them in Q ship. Come to think of 1t, not more than three or four of my friends in Muneie have docking space for c 10000. ton liner.
 I have told the captain Of the position I worked out. and have warned him that fl am right he had better slow down once he gets inside the city limits because Nun eie strictly enforces it's speed regu- lations.
 Remember" cautioned another officer, "ib miles an hour" Knots to you" he answered.
 Having done oil ! could about the position of the ship business, ! resumed eating. We eat something on this boat every few minutes, and having been . full hour without any kind of food I was gaunt and weak with hunger. And you can see when I tell what an average day has been.
 Free Eats
 Upon waking in the morning every sensible person realizes that ell the food on c boat is free and he bounds out Of bed determined to get his share. People who usu- ally have just orange juice and cof- fee for breakfast toss off steaks, kip- pered herrings, and innumerable omelettes. When we finish these enormous bargain breakfasts, we race to the deck in time to have bouiliion and crackers. We gulp this down in order not to be late for the appetizers served before lunch. Still clutching an appetizer in one hand, we then tear for the dining room where we order every thing on the luncheon menu.
 Between lunch and tea we forage through the boat. eating fruit, sand. wiches, and cakes that are scattered about on nearly every table. We then devour whacking big teas, fol- lowed by more appetizers in the cocktail lounge before dinner.
 At dinner we really settle down to serious eating. and 1t is nothing for bird-like eater to have four kinds Of meat. four kinds of pota- toes, an assortment of salads, and four kinds Of dessert. After dinner we go immediately back to the lounge and eat cold ham and tur- key and cheese and crackers. This keeps body and soul together until We rush to our staterooms to go to bed. There, the thoughtful steward has laid bouth a cold supper for Us Bring on either Muncie or Honolulu, boy. But do bring me little something to eat.
 Copyright, 1899, by United Press)