Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1939-06-20
Obedience Is
Taught by
Kindness
Military Standard
OF Training Very
Unnecessary
BY ANGELO PATRI.

whats to be done with my A.
year-old son who does not come
promptly when call him? 1t
takes him four or f1ve minutes to
come. II I go after him and spank
him he runs away next time he
sees me coming for him, so I don t
know what to do. hate to spank
him all the time. but how can I
get him to Gomez"
1t would be a queer child who did
not learn to run away from one
who spanked him when he saw him
coming. How soon should one ex-
poet a 4-year-old child to come at
call? You see. children differ
greatly in this because 1t is a mat
ter of response to a call. Some chill
dren respond instantly, some delay,
some delay SO long they forget they
had the call. These differences are
caused by time responses to nerve
stimulus. Some of us are quick as
lightning. others slower than mo-
lasses. What kind is this child?
Is he responding according to his
nature, or is he trying to get out of
obeying? One must study him and
decide.
If the child is naturally slow in
responding; if he needs the four
minutes to check his play, redirect
his thinking, redirect his energy,
and start for the house, he must
have it, and without any fuss.
If he is a child who responds
quickly enough when he has no wish
to delay, then he is to be trained
to come more promptly. But not
by spanking him. If that method
Is used he will learn to wait until
the spanking Is upon him. Call this
child. Make certain he hears you.
Wait a reasonable time-five min
utes is liberal enough-and if he is
not on his way by then go after him
and bring him in. Don't scold him
all the way and shake him by way of
punctuation. Just bring him along
quietly and when he is inside the
house tell him calmly, and with
assurance, that he Is not going out
to play tomorrow until you can go
with him and bring him in on time.
And do just that. A couple of such
experiences will settle the matter.
It Is well to train little children
to come promptly at call. This is
done before the child begins going
out to play with other children.
His mother calls him to her and
gives him something he is pleased
to get-a kiss, = hug, top he likes,
picture card, but, preferably,
something he does not eat. I think
1t better to reward children with
pleasant things that are not related
to their stomachs. If the child has
happy memories of his mothers call
he will be easily trained to come in
from play when she tells him to.
Obedience Is largely a matter of
experience.
1t is unwise to take a military
standard Of obedience toward little
children. There is no need for them
to jump at the sound of ones voice.
Only In times of emergency is that
necessary and then the sound of
alarm is 50 clear in that voice that
there will be no question about the
response.
The best kind of obedience, the
only sort worth while, is the quail
ity that comes through the right
experiences. When a child learns
by experience that he is called, sent,
put and taken according to his
need and comfort and not accord
ing to some ones selfish within, he
learns to obey cheerfully and CO.
operatively. That kind of obedi-
ence is intelligent, and 1t can always
be depended upon, no matter what
the circumstances.