The guardian. [volume] (Boston, Mass.) 1901-1960, 1939-03-25
Dry Toast and
Lettuce
By OSCAR SMITH
g Associated Newspapers.
WNU Service.
BY OSCAR SMITH

AMES BRADLEY filled a plate
with generous helpings of chops,
mashed potatoes, gravy and seal
loped cheese, and passed it over to
his wife.
mo, Jim. Keep that for yourself.
I'm eating just lettuce and broiled
halibut tonight. Saddles, lie down!
You can have plate in the kitchen
after while"
Saddles was the Boston terrier
they were keeping for Jim's brother
Ben while Ben and his wife were
in California. Saddles thumped his
tail on the floor and lay down on
the rug
Whats the matter with you,
Bess? Not getting fnicky about
your eating, are your"
"Oh, Jim. Saddles and l went
for walk today. 1 got weighed
down at the corner drug store, and,
Jim, l weighed $50 pounds!'
II can think of worse things than
that. Suppose you do weigh $50
! pounds. l see lots of women every
day that look as if they should
weigh $50 pounds. If women would
forget about how much they weigh
and think more about how they look,
they would be easier to look at"
But, jim! Think of my weigh
ing $50 pounds. I am supposed to
weigh only 1876. think you are just
horrid not to care"
81 wouldn't let that worry me.
The scales were probably off. You
look about the same. to me-"
"Oh, no, Jim. 1t wasn't the scales.
went right over to the other drug
store and I weighed just the same.
Fix plate for Saddles, won't your"
Days of agony followed for Bess
as she sat across the table and
watched Jim eat creamed vegeta-
bles, pie, and heap sugar in his
I coffee while she ate lettuce without
dressing, toast and an occasional
chop.
Every day she took Saddles for a
walk, and every day she just dread
ed to pass the scales at the drug
! store. Of course, she didn't have to
get weighed on them, but black
coffee at mealtime was bad enough
without having to look at the scales
every day
At the end of three weeks, Bess
weighed l40 pounds and even she
realized that her good disposition
was suffering from her dieting re-
gime.
By this time the scales were such
torment that she took Saddles
down the alley and up the other
street for his walk to keep from
having to pass the drug stores that
were on either corner Of the block.
There was bakery shop on the
street she was now taking, and Bess
had to walk very fast and look
straight ahead to keep from think
ing about the thick pies and creamy
covered cakes that filled the win
dows.
Every night she did the crane
dive and the knee dip and rode
imaginary bicycles in the air until
she was dizzy from even thinking
dUOuI GAGIClSeS.
One day she was brave enough
to take Saddles by the drug store
for his walk, and she weighed 1874.
After that, she allowed herself sugar
and cream for her coffee, and again
as Jim came home one evening, she
said:
Jim, just think! l got weighed
again today and 1 weighed 1872. It's
positively uncanny. I don't see what
else there is that can do without"
For another ten days, Bess exist
ed on lettuce, dry toast and coffee.
The Bradleys came home from
California and Ben came after Sad
dies.
AS he was leaving with him, he
called out:
"Did he do any of his cute tricks
for you, Bess? 1 taught him one
that made Jane so cross. claim
it's pretty cute. Whenever she goes
to get weighed, he puts his paws
on the scales behind her. He got
so he could just about make it fif-
teen pounds more. Sometimes he
got little higher than that Until
she caught on to what he was doing,
Jane just about lived on dry toast,
lettuce and black coffee. Pretty
good, isn't it?"
Bess gasped, then rushed for the
ice box.
When she came back, she had a
cheese sandwich, salad with mayon-
naise, and thick piece of berry pie.