Askov American. [volume] (Askov, Pine County, Minn.) 1914-current, 1939-01-26

| IL would NJ ner IlnSer. but let tIle
Governor stray from the straight
forward path and some of the news
papers will be as cool to him as was
that same young lady when she sud-
denly discovered that her boy friend
was presenting her with thimble,
instead of ring.
The Governor displayed as much
confidence in speaking before us as
did the man who, on a fishing eXcur-
sion with his wife, asked her if she
had included his fish frying kit with
their other luggage. However, I'll
bet there were some fellows in that
crowd who inwardly displayed an
optimism toward the new Governor
of the same degree which was Mrs.
FiSherman's, when she remarked that
she also had included a can of sar-
dimes and some cheese and crackers.
There seemed to be a degree of
strained silence throughout the 600
banqueteers when the German band,
that was furnishing music for the
occasion, struck up the air, How
Dry l Am" when the Governor and
Mrs. StaSsen came into the room
l thought Hail to the Chief would
have been more appropriate, but
then, possibly haven't attended as
great variety of conventions as
have some others.
A headline tells us that fear is ex-
pressed that a rebellious Congress
may slash arms budget submitted
by the President. Well, shucks, we
can just as well have war here at
home as any place else, I guess.
In the United States it is estimated
that the average expenditure for Ii
brary service is 81 cents per capita
and five hundred million dollars are
spent by people of these United
States of ours each year for dogs,
or to put it more simply-$4 per
capita on these lovable animals. No
wonder some dogs are more intelli-
gent than some human beings, when
over 10 times as much is spent on
them than for library books.
Well, 1 don't know but what a rea-
sonable investment on dogs is an
investment toward education, for I
tell you many of us can learn much
from dog.
If were asked as to one good
requirement to fit Congressman for
his job in the national lawmaking
chambers these days, l would pre-
scribe good course in mathematics
&. one that would insure sufficient
training in reading large figures.
We have heard of people becoming
breathless when speaking of very
large sums of money. Well, after
reading the Presidents address to
Congress 1 have come to realize the
true significance of that old saying
The average person finds it difficult
to hold his breath more than 80 Sec
onds, and I'll be swizzled if one can
hardly say one of them figures with
out becoming breathless.
Why is the United States taking
the leadership in industry today?
Just because we are a people who
capitalize on any important current
topic or happening to make our cash
registers ring. For instance the day
after President Roosevelt announced
the appointment of Felix Frankfurter
to the Supreme Court bench, the cap
itol cafeteria made a special menu
out of frankfurters and sauerkraut.
Did the cash registers ring? re-
ports say they did.
After Lindbergh flew the Atlantic,
miniature Spirits of st. Louis" made
silk hats out of few more of our
people; and when Charlie Mccarthy
the radio dummy, became the by
word of thousands because of his
escapades with his clever originator
on the radio, his image almost i'm
mediately made little hearts glad in
the street.
Why shucks, the funnier the thing
and the more simple it is, the more
it will make for its sponsor. We are
a goofy people, but we like ourselves,
don't we?
Now over in Germany, if Frank
furter person should be placed in a
high governmental position, which
he wouldn't be, I can imagine that
the lowly edible frankfurter would
Immediately lose caste.
/ Those who advertise the least offer