davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Waterbury Democrat., 1939-11-13

istic consciences twinge can pay their respects.
 I have been regaled with Joe's tests for years, thanks to nnum- erable press agents who have drawn upon him as regularly as high-paid comics, for quips and uuirks that they then transmute into pearls from lips of their cli- ents. To them l would recom- mend that they stand before the graven image of old Joe at least once daily in humble silence
 THERE'S ALWAYS
 ONE TO FIT
 Each day Joe's jokes return like spooks in the mail adorned in the garb of modernity and applied to one who wants his name in the paper. Some are risible and some aren't, but by way of a test, tag along with this days quota:
 Henry Youngman is telling of the chap who walked into a Bow cry eatery and asked for a menu Don't have any today" said the waiter. "Why?" asked the client. "Today," was the reply, "the rain came and washed all the chalk oil the window!"
 Then there is one like this: Encch Light believes he has a scoop" on what happened to tht Bremen. Judge Crater chartered 1t.
 And the epigrammatist: Paul Wing says that with conditions what they are in Wall Street. it's a wise stock that knows It's own par"
 HAVE YOURSELF
 AN ANECDOTE
 The parent of anecdotal humor was old Joe and the publicists draw upon him heavily. Pay att tention, class: Tommy Riggs was anxious for a quick sandwich at Reuben's the other morning and requested Please get me a fast waiter. The manager demurred. Better take slow one, he re- piled, or you'll wait too long. Everybody wants the fast one"
 Or Willie Howard tells of the budding playwright whose first eff fort was rejected by prominent producer, who thoughtfully en- closed with the manuscript note stating his reasons for turning it down. Its a fairly good play" he said, but not quite deep enough!' "T can't understand his saying that. said the perplexed author, I made 1t six carbon copies deep'!" Before the typewriter age, old Joe Miller had invented a gag like that.
 Humor pursues all patterns in the grist through the mail mill. There's whimsy such as Will Os- borne's. He wonders if I've heard the one about the pigeon who had a date for lunch in Peekskill and cocktails in Central Park. He was SO late for the cocktail party that his friends were worried. but he finally showed up. Tt was such a lovely day" he explained, "that I decided to walk"
The Waterbury Democrat., 1939-11-13
What's Your l. O.!
Can you answer seven of these test questions Turn to last page for the answers.

1. What became of the Balkan kingdom of Montenegro?
 2. What does pro and con" mean?
 3. Has the moon an atmosphereP 4. Name the last Car of Russia. 5. How many time zones are in the U. s. proper?
 6. On which continent is the re- public of Liberia?
 2. What is the correct pronuncia- tion of the word detonate?
 8. For which Major League base. ball club is Paul Derringer pitch CT?
 g. Name the capital of Nevada.
 10. Which woman made the first solo flight from Hawaii to Calif- ornia?
The Waterbury Democrat., 1939-11-13

tary of State. Many diplomats now ask to see the President di- rect, rather than Cordell Hull. To do this, they now have to go through the State Department. where there are delays and some- times irritation.
 Suggested as the new diplomatic attache is Hugh Wilson, former Ambassador to Germany, who has been cooling his heels in the State Department rather unhappily ever since he was recalled from Ber- lin.
The Waterbury Democrat., 1939-11-13
SCULLY-CAPTAIN OF THE ALL WATERBURY, ALL-AMER-
 ICAN TEAM
Editor, Waterbury Democrat:

Editor, Waterbury DemocTat.
 The All-Waterbury. All-American team in this election is the one with Vincent Scully as captain. He has played a hard. clean game and has won the admiration. respect and confidence of those who, were root ing for the other side.
 His opponents have played rough. dirty game with every cheap trick they could sind but even they
The Waterbury Democrat., 1939-11-13
WHITE HOUSE DIPLOMAT

tor a sort of partner in the cam paign.
 WHITE HOUSE DIPLOMAT
 Inside the White House, plans have been discussed for the ap- pointment of a diplomatic secre- tary to the President. The tenta- tive plan is to attach a State De- partment official to the White House staff to sift foreign prob- lens, arrange the visits of diplo- mats.
 Real fact is that the President more and more is his own Secre-
The Waterbury Democrat., 1939-11-13

can't win. They brought in some ringers" from out of town but these pros couldn't help them the least bit. When the game is over you will find that many Republican rooters left their team in disgust because of its dirty play and cheered the clean sportsmanship and honest game played by Captain Scully's lineup. Americans, no matter what their party is, like an honest game and clean sportsmanship.
 TOUCH-DOWNS.
The Waterbury Democrat., 1939-11-13
FIRST NAME OF DEMOCRATIC CANDIDATE DERIVED FROM
 THE WORD CONQUER"
Nov. 12, 1899,

@>O's ~~fs ~~~~' Editor of the Democrat:
 The first name of the Democratic candidate for mayor, MT. Scully, contains e prophecy. It comes from the latin word, vincio, meaning. T conquer"
 I think he will conquer and pre- vail over the forces of mis-truth and prevarication which have been hurled against him. without avail. by his unfair Republican opponents He stands out a victor for cleanness and fairness in spite of all the att tempts to hurt him. The only muo that is visible is on the hands of those who threw 1t and it wOnr wash off very easily in the estima- ton Of the voters.
 INDEPENDENT
The Waterbury Democrat., 1939-11-13

A. Ten crossings were made, car rying 96,804 soldiers to France and bringing back 93,746. Information about the history of the Leviathan (formerly vaterland) may be ob- tained from our Service Bureau, 1913 Thirteenth Street, Washington D. C., by sending stamped, self addressed envelope.
 @. Are foreigners who are living or visiting in the United States pro- hibited by law from obtaining em- ployment?
 A. There is no federal law in- hibiting a foreigner from employ ment in the United States.
 o. How many extra sessions of Congress due to war have there been?
 A. The present extra session is the seventh as a direct result Of war, and twenty-f1fth in the history of Congress.
 If you want copy of our book let, send to The Waterbury Demo- cats Washington Bureau. 1913 Thirteenth Street, Washington, ID.
The Waterbury Democrat., 1939-11-13
Daily Almanac
Moon sets 6:49 p. m,

Moon sets 6:49 D. m.
 Sun rises 6:36 a. m.; sets 4:36 p. m.
 All vehicles must be lighted thirty minutes after sunset
 There may be few November sunsets and slnrises because the month is apt to be bit on the drab side. but when they do occur their brilliance makes up for quantity. One such was the sunset ot last Thursday night Gorgeous was the only adjective to describe the colors.
The Waterbury Democrat., 1939-11-13

was the F1rst
 Gag M a n of them all and JeSsel feels that some trib u t e should be paid to image of old Joe at lea S t once daily in humble silence.
 So Jessel will seek out a con- spicuous place for Miller's bust on Broadway where tn os e whose plagiar- f,Winqe can pay
The Waterbury Democrat., 1939-11-13
In Today's Mail
WRITER PRAISES THE DEMOCRAT AND JOHN CLUNE>
 FOR HIS NORWICH STATE HOSPITAL EXPOSE.
November Il, 1889.

EDITOR WATERBURY DEMOCRAT, Dear John Norwich Hospital which
  rooted civic duty
The Waterbury Democrat., 1939-11-13
Selected Poem
FIRST OF SNOW

FIRST OF SNOW Geone Rice Grelle, Mount Carmel in the
 New Haven Journal-Courier) Before the strdent beckonng of winter The lean fields parch; and stolid foothills hump ing. Loom ominous upon the stars; and daylight Brings but newer cold; a solid Jumping Of snow-full sky heaped out of all proportion To what sky should hold. Until lifting A lessening of tension bruits it's purpose; And marshals in first flakes ardent drifting
The Waterbury Democrat., 1939-11-13
Washington Merry-G Go-Round
NEA Service. Inc.
DREW PEA R s 0 N ROBERT s. ALLEN

regard
   are no SO
The Waterbury Democrat., 1939-11-13
In New York
BY GEORGE ROSS

New York, Nov. 13 - Georgie Jessel, a sentimental funster, has ordered a bust to be made of Joe Miller, the 200th anniversary of whose death approaches. Miller
The Waterbury Democrat., 1939-11-13

TODAY's COMMON ERROR Do not say, "The fact affords
 a reasonable presumption;
 say supplies"
Evening star., 1939-02-05

100 per cent under construction, the
January l deadline set by Congress
having been met successfully. All
this work must be completed by
June 30, 1910, and whether it can
be done in time is another thing
about which Mr.. Ickes will speak.
Some 1000 projects are involved.
Recently, Mr.. Ickes reported to
the Senate that the P. w. A. has
practically 5000 applications for
funds left over" from its present
program. Funds were lacking to
finance them. They represent a
total construction value of about
$1,700, 100000, local communities
having expressed a willingness to
pay SIS per cent of the cost.
At the time, Mr.. Ickes said he
presumed the Senate wished the
information for it's guidance in con-
nection with any future P. w. A.
program on which Congress might
decide. The projects constitute a
reservoir of public works which
could be undertaken with the least
possible delay.
Evening star., 1939-02-05
Sfrachey Gives Up Fight
And Sails for Home
Hy the Associated Press.

By the Associated Press.
NEW YORK, Feb. 4-John Stra-
chey. British author and lecturer,
sailed for home today without see
ing through his fight for unre-
.stricted entry into this country and
still denying he is a Communist.
He sailed on the liner Aquitania,
on which Luise Rainer, the actress,
also departed for a stage appear
ance in London.
MIR. Strachey said he could not
wait an expected five months for
the Labor Department hearing to
which the United States Circuit
Court recently ruled he was en-
titled after his visa was revoked on
the grounds he was a Communist.
Forbidden to give lectures he
had planned, pending decision in
his case. Mr.. Strachey spent his time
here, after a two-week detention on
Ellis Island in October, preparing a
history of the New Deal and visit
ing friends.
Nothing subversive," he re-
marked.
Evening star., 1939-02-05
w. P. A. Educational
Workers Name Officers

David Volper was elected presi-
dent of the w. P. A. Educational
Workers Union at an organiza-
itonal meeting held yesterday at
the Bookshop, at 9l6 Seventeenth
street NV.
Thirty-two charter members were
accepted into the organization.
Doxy Wilkerson, national vice presi-
dent of the American Federation of
Teachers. was the speaker, and Mrs.
Lenore Bartlett, president OF the
Private School Teachers Union,
presided. The next meeting of the
group will be held at pm. Satur-
day at 1927 Columbia road NV.
Other officers elected were Miss
Ida Taylor, vice president; Miss
Vera Barnes, secretary, and Miss
Dorothy Strange, treasurer. Com
mltJee chairmen chosen included
Mrs. Irma Goldsby. constitution;
Miss Adelaide Hemingway, organ
ization, and Bernard Pryor, pro-
gram and planning.
Evening star., 1939-02-05
Ickes to Report on P. w. A.
Administrator to Discuss 1893 Program
In National Radio Forum Talk

Keeping a promise to take the
public into his confidence on the
accomplishments of the 1888 pub
lie works program, Administrator
Harold L. Ickes will speak in the
National Radio Forum at 1920
pm. tomorrow.
The forum is arranged by The
Star and broadcast over Nation
wide network of the National Broad
casting Co. 1t is heard locally over
Station WMAL.
When the new billion-do pro-
gram was about to be launched
last summer, Administrator Ickes
told the forum audience what he
believed the pump-priming could
and would do for industrial recovery
and in assisting local communities
to finance long-needed public con-
struction. He was invited then to
return to the forum later and re-
bort what had been done. This he
will do tomorrow night in telling
how "P. w. A. Writes New Chap
ter"
To DISCUSS Record.
= It was also expected that Mr..
1ckes would discuss the record of
the Public Works Administration
for the last six years as we'll as its
accomplishments of the last six
months. Summing up these achieve
ments, he will also make certain
recommendation with respect to
the part that permanent P. w. A.
structure can play in stimulating
and stabilizing the heavy industries,
particularly the construction in
dustry.
Next to Harry L. Hopkins in the
period he administered the w. P.
A., Mr.. Ickes has been responsible
for the greatest amount Of expendi-
lures during the existence of the
New Deal. The P. w. A. programs
have made possible $4,000, 900 900
worth of construction, with the
Government financing little less
than half the amount.
:. Renewed Pump Printing.
= When industry was tagging last
summer, the p w. A. was called
on again to renew pump printing ef-
forts. Mr.. Ickes will report to-
morrow that an estimated $780,
100000 worth of public works is
Evening star., 1939-02-05
F. 6. 6. to Hear Mutual
testimony in Probe
BACKGROUND

The Mutual Broadcasting Co. will
begin Tuesday the presentation Of
evidence before the committee of
the Federal Communications Com
mission which Is investigating al
legged monopoly in the broadcasting
industry and the radio chains.
This marks the third stage in the
inquiry, which has been going on
for more than three months, the
second stage having been completed
Friday, when the Columbia Broad
casting System completed the pres
entation Of its testimony.
William j. Dempsey, F. c. c. gen.
eral counsel. who is conducting the
inquiry, said Mutual would require
about two weeks, after which the
regional networks will be called to
present their evidence. Then testi-
mony from organizations and others
who have registered complaints with
the commission would be heard.
Evening star., 1939-02-05

Congress is fair enough to judge
what is reasonable"
L. A. Carruthers, president. Fed
Grafton of Citizens Association
Although I have no fault to find
with the commission form of gov
ernment. I believe the council plan
also would work effectively. AS for
consolidating many of the existing
agencies and bureaus, have always
favored departmentalizins. How
ever, am opposed to any change
affecting the Board of Education" ."
Harry N. Stull, first vice president,
Federation of Citizens Associations
II am thoroughly opposed to any
radical change in the form of gov
ernment unless the people can
select their own governing officers.
AS for diyorcing the Budget Bureau
from its present control over Dis
trict eXpenditures-fine. I'm against
any change in the setup of the
Board of Education unless the
change Is made in the direction of
electing members of the board"
Mrs. Louis Gutenberg, president of
the Voteless District of Columbia
League of Women Voters-"We
have no assurance that the sug-
gested set-up will govern us any
better than we are governed at
present. We believe that as long
as Congress has the exclusive legis-
lauve jurisdiction over the District
we cannot levy our own taxes, handle
our own funds or make our own
laws. We believe that until we have
an amendment to the Constitution
which will permit Congress to dele
gate to a city council certain powers
which Congress now has, and
national representation in both
houses of Congress we cannot hope
for very great improvement in our
local government"
Evening star., 1939-02-05
H. T. ShenefieId Heads
New u. S. H. A. Division

Appointment of Hale T. Shenefield
of Toledo, Ohio, as director OF the
new division of coordination and
procedures in the United States
Housing Authority was announced
yesterday by Administrator Nathan
StrauS.
Since 1884 Mr.. Shenefield has been
auditor of Lucas County, Ohio. For
four years prior he served as re-
search director of the Commission
of Publicity and Efficiency of To-
ledo and also as director Of financ-
ing and purchasing for the Board
of County Commissioners in the
same city.
He will assume full-time duties
in Washington on March IA. Mean
while he will devote part Of his
time to organizing the new division.
Evening star., 1939-02-05
Roosevelt May Break
Tradition and Keen
Leahy in Post
Operations Chief Will
Reach Retirement
Age in May
BY the Associated Press.

BY the Associated Press.
Administration quarters reported
that President Roosevelt breaking
with tradition, was considering ex-
tending the term of Admiral William
D. Leahy as the Nays chief of
operations.
If he followed custom, the Presi-
dent would select new professional
heads of both the Navy and Army
within few months, in the midst
of the Nations greatest peacetime
arms expansion.
Plain-spoken Admiral Leahy, fire.
quently Acting Secretary of the
Navy and the departments spokes-
man to Congress when the billion
dollar Fleet Expansion Act was ap-
proved, will reach the normal retire.
ment age of "a in May Gen. Malin
Craig, Army chief of staff, is sched-
uled to retire for age next August.
Because of an apparent legal over
sight, the President is empowered to
extend Admiral Leahy's services and
thus is able to postpone far-reach-
ing change in the Navy high COM
mand which would almost coincide
with a lesser shifting of top Army
personnel.
No Army Officials Excepted.
Gen. Craig's retirement is legally
mandatory, War Department Of
ficials said, except in the event of an
emergency.
The retirement statutes apply only
to rear admirals and lesser Navy
officers, but to Army officials with
out exception, it was explained. AS
chief of operations and the Navy's
top-ranking of1icer, Admiral Leahy
has the rank of full admiral, con-
firmed by Congress two years ago.
Already. persons close to the White
House said, the President has turned
his attention to the imminent new
Army and Navy appointments.
! Aside from Admiral Leahy and
Gen. Craig, numerous other officers
in key posts are slated to step down
in few months They include Ad-
miral Harry E. Yarnell, commander
in chief of the Asiatic Fleet, whose
service in that capacity the Presi-
/ dent ordered extended, and Mai.
! Gen. Albert j. Bowley. Both retire
| for age.
/ Air Chief Must Go to Sea.
The Navys Aeronautics Bureau
! chief, Rear Admiral Arthur B. Cook,
| soon must 60 to sea, and the four
year term of Maj. Gen. Frank NJ.
Andrews, commander of the Army's
Mobile General Headquarters Air
Force, expires February %. Rear
Admiral Harold G. Bowen, naval
chief of engineering, is near the end
of his term. Rear Admiral Charles
Conrad will be out in April as chief
Of supplies and accounts.
Their successors come from young
er officers of high rank. so all ap-
pointments entail consequent shifts
far down the promotion lists.
| Those said in naval circles to be
under consideration to succeed Ad-
miral Leahy eventually, include the
commander in chief of the fleet,
Admiral Claude C. Bloch; the chief
of the Scouting Force. Vice Admiral
| Adolphus Andrews; Rear Admirals
James Richardson, the chief of navi-
CATION, and Harold R. Stark, who
commands the Battle Force cruisers.
Outstanding among candidates for
Gen. Craig's high post is Maj Gen.
Hugh A. Drum, senior ranking off,
Ger who now commands the 1st
Army and the I'd Corps Area, with
headquarters at New York.
Evening star., 1939-02-05
Organization of Labor
Will Be Discussed

Leo Huberman, economics instruc-
tor at the New College of Columbia
University, will discuss THE Organ
ization of Labor Historical Sur
vey" tonight before the Modern
Forum of the American League for
Peace and Democracy in Friends
Meeting House, ALL Florida ave-
nue. NV.
David Ziskind of the Department
OF Labor and Philip Booth Of the
Social Security Board are to psrtioi-
pate In the panel discussion.
Evening star., 1939-02-05
Seven Negro Children
Burn to Death

~ the Associated Press.
WEST POINT, Va, Feb. 4.-Seven
children of Negro couple whose
1tth child was but two hours old
were burned to death when fire de-
sfroyed frame dwelling in nearby
Hing and Queen County tonight.
sIhe family was sleeping when
the blaze broke out, only a short
while after country doctor de-
ltvered the mother.
". S. Wormeley, the pulp mill
employe father, awakened in time
to- carry his labor weakened wife
to- safety.
Evening star., 1939-02-05
Austrian Standards
Lao, Nozis Confess
BY the Associated Press

BY The Associated Press.
VIENNA, Feb 4-Joseph Buerckel.
Reichsfuehrer Hitler's commissioner
for German Austria, acknowledged
tonight that the Austrian standard
OF living was mot yet what it
should be-"
Addressing Nazi gathering In
his new capacity as Nazi district
leader from Vienna, Buerckel said
he would do all possible to raise
Vienna to the level of the rest of
Germany.
Buerckel declared that a rumor
the German Reichsbank planned
confiscation of all privately owned
gold as an ''impudent" lie.
Evening star., 1939-02-05
Manchukuo Reports
4 Days Of Fighting
With Soviet Forces
Russion Assaults Are
Thrown Back, Soy
Communiques
" the Associated Press.

BY the Associated Press
TOXIC, Feb 4.-The government
Of japanese dominated Manchukue
today reported four days of almost
continuous fighting between Soviet
Russian forces and ''Manchukuo
guards" but failed to state definitely
the outcome or number of casual
ties.
Communicates issued at Hsinking,
Manchukuo capital, indicated that
Russian assaults" had been thrown
back. While they described the
defending" forces as 'Manchukuo
guards" 1t was believed here that
Japanese regulars were involved.
Finest Troops in North.
It is known that some of Japan S
finest troops have been stationed
along the Manchukuo-Siberia bor-
der instead of fighting in China.
Apparently these were the most
serious border hostilities since last
July and August when Japanese
and Russian units battled near the
intersection of Siberia, Manchukuo
and Korea.
The Manchukuo government
charged Soviet cavalrymen attacked
q Manchukuo border garrison Tues
day morning but were beaten back.
Fbur other attacks followed on that
day.
Minor skirmishing and maneuver-
Ing ensued, the communique from
Hsinking said, until the Russians
assaulted the same border point
three times Friday afternoon and
evening.
Manchukuo Protests.
The scene of the fighting was
given as Mengoskii, an isolated re-
9ion so miles northeast of Man
chui. Manchukuo has protested to
Russia.
Wednesday the Russian Govern
ment reported a new clash in which
it, said 18 japanese and Manchu-
kpoan soldiers attempted on Tues
day to take Soviet island in the
Afgun River, Manchukuo's north
western boundary with Russia.
The scene of the present hostili-
ties is all the way across Manchu-
kuo from Changkufeng Hill, over
which the border fighting ragged in
July and August.
Evening star., 1939-02-05
Weather Conditions Last FL Hours.

Weather Conditions Last "a Hours.
The disturbance that was on the South
ern New England Coast Friday niaht is
advancing northeastward. being central
about $50 miles south of Newfoundland.
with lowest pressure about 20 inches.
Another disturbance is moving eastward
over the middle Rocky Mountain region.
Pueblo, Colo. 29.12 inches. and pressure
is low over British Columbia and the
Southern Alaska Coast, Sitka. 29.1s inches.
A high pressure area is advancing east
lachian region. Parkersburg w. Va, 3O.42
inches. Another hiEh pressure area is
inches. During the last "a hours rain
has occurred in the Pacific States. the
Middle Atlantic States and portions of
the South Atlantic States and SHOWS in
the plateau region. the lower lake region
and the North Atlantic States. Tempera-
lures have fallen in the Atlantic States.
while they have risen in the Southern
Plains and in the upper Mississippi and
lower Missouri Valleys
Evening star., 1939-02-05
Roofers to Meet

The SD annual convention Of the
United Roofing Contractors will be-
gin here Wednesday. with more than
200 delegates attending. The annual
banquet will be held Thursday night
and the convention will close Friday.
Evening star., 1939-02-05
Weather Report

cold
gentle
becoming south.
VnaFar today tomorrow increasing coudlness
warmer, followed by rain.
today tomorrow ran in south