Worcester Democrat and the ledger-enterprise. (Pocomoke City, Md.) 1921-1953, 1939-02-03
"Chirps'' ~
from the
Democrats Pen

Well, Sir, did any OF you people see
that remedy for colds, published IN
one of those allegedly wondrous hap
nenings set forth under the head of
Don't YOU believe it," Believe it or
not" "Strange as it may seem," or
some other eye-catching heading ?
That was q new one on me. 1t said,
colds could be cured by standing on
your head for 10 minutes. Now, I'm
here to tell you, that remedy won't
cure my cold, and for mighty good
reason, I'm not going to try it
couldn't do it, if I did.
Still, you now, I wouldn't mind
being around when some people did
try it. It would be fun to watch 'em.
/ have an idea the principle OF the
thing is that victim of cold, who
hadn't INDUCED in athletics for some
time would work up sweat trying to
balance himself on his head and hands
and the cold would ooze out through
his pores. But I know better way
to get up a sweat than that. My
way is taken just before you go to
bed and then you wrap yourself in a
blanket and let the stuff work while
you sleep. That's dose any age can
accomplish.
wonder if the proposer of that
stand-on-your-head method of cure
thought the cold would run out of the
afflicted just like the coins would run
out of his pockets, if he were upside
down. It's funny proposition any
how; and, as novelty always attracts,
I'll wager some snifflers will try it
along with their daily dozen. If it
becomes a craze, in these Gays of
these germ-laden worlds, the doctors
are going to reap harvest treating
broken bones and bruised bodies.
Blest if the remedy isn't worse than
the disease, because somebody is go
ing to fare worse testing the cure than
bearing the trouble.
And Pm here to give warning to
all you people who think you are
young enough to stand on your head,
that what little sense you got may
take notion to run out of your head
like those coins I was talking about.
Then you'd bid fair to come into pos
session of a straight packet. Indeed,
If I hear of any being so rash as to
give the remedy a trial, I'm going to
advise a straight jacket in advance.
How-some-ever, as said above, it's
a novelty and some are bound to try
it; and, it being sort of mannish
exercise, I'll be hearing about some
of my lady friends trying it. They
are more eager to get rid of beauty
destroying cold, than the men; and in
these days of dress reform, they
wouldn't make such a spectacle as
they used to if they were tempted to
reverse the natural stance of the hu-
man race. However, again, they
aren't so careful of spectacles as our
grandmothers used to be and standing
on ones head would be just as ordi-
nary event for the modern women
folk.
But I'd just like some of our good
physicians to let me know if there
is really any efficacy in disturbing
our inside workin's to the extent that
an exchange of location as to hands
and feet would require. Or, I would
like to ask if some of us who have
retained the prowess of muscular
feats, would add anything to the dis
patch of the cold, if we ventured a.
way from wall and walked around
a bit on our hands, like we've seen
It done in a circus, you know.
might try that and then come to
grief like did not long ago when I
tried to ride "bike". I used to 90
down the pike at a rafting good
gait, but not so long ago, I tried to
rassle with one of those two-wheeled
means of transportation, and, bless
Peter, the thing persisted in refusing
to be guided. It did not care to run,
and, once more, as the years are rapid
~ gliding by, I realize there's no
bigger fool than an old fool reckon
I'd better leave acrobatics and hand
walking to those who, at least, think
they are younger than some others.
So, l have mentioned this new
remedy for a cold, but I'm not doctor
of that sort, anyhow, and / absolve
myself from all responsibility if some
should come to grief in an effort to
get rid of cold. 1 viii advise you
like the announcer who used to pre-
cede Amos and Andy, "See your den
fist twice year." I would advise
you to see your doctor and save your
neck.