Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1939-04-12
Dads Voice
Should Be
Inspiring
Disciplining aChild
Up to His Mother,
And Not Father
BY ANGELO PATRI.

Hes something terrible when his
father isn't around. but the minute
he hears his fathers voice he is as
meek as a lamb"
Afraid of his father, is hep"
Il should say so. I can tell him
and tell him and he won't pay the
slightest attention, but let his father
speak and he Jumps. Good thing
there is somebody to make him
mind"
That is quite too bad. This child
is just past 2, healthy and bright,
and willful. His mother makes no
effort to get him to go along with
her, seemingly. She says stop that,
darling" but he does not stop. He
looks at her with passing interest
and does it again. When his mother
feels she can stand 1t no longer she
yells at him, so that he jumps, but
he does not obey. Then his mother
either picks him up, struggling. and
puts him where he cannot continue
his annoying or destructive pur-
suits. and tells him that as soon
as his father comes in he will hear
from him.
The child is not being trained to
cooperate with his father and
mother. He is learning that his
mother does not count, but that
when father appears he means bust
ness. Force is the only appeal that
reaches him. Now force has distinct
limitations in the rearing of child
1t must be held in reserve for emer-
gencies or 1t loses its power and be-
comes just another form of battle,
one that goes on forever and ever,
getting nowhere. After each en-
gagement the forces gather again
and fight again. The child gathers
erroneous ideas about his relations
to people and to life generally. His
attitudes are set in opposition to
his needs. Lasting harm Is done
him by those who mean to be his
best friends.
In the early years the mother has
charge of the children. She must
establish the daily routine of home.
She sets the standards and main
tains them, disciplining herself and
the children toward that end. She
does not call upon the father for
help in this field, which is peculiarly
her own. Father Is not to be chief
executioner, but friend to lean on,
and to love.
When the father reaches home at
night he is usually tired. He has
worked all day and longs for the
quiet and peace Of his home. and
the enjoyment of his children. If
he is met with unhappy faces, tales
of wrong doing, appeals for judg-
ment against offenders, he feels
weighed down with grief. He be-
comes impatient, irritable, perhaps
withdraws from his family.
Let the first hour Of homecoming
be pleasant for every one. Let the
days happenings fade into the past
and make no mention Of them un-
less they have been good. If some-
thing grave has to be discussed
with the father. there will be time
and occasion after the children have
gone to bed. For the most part
mother can deal with the children
herself on her own.
AS the children grow older their
father comes closer to them as adj
wiser and friend. He takes them out
with him, helps them to visit the
places they need to see, compile
ments their mothers teaching with
out supplanting it in the least. Grad
ually he and the mother take the
children into the partnership Of the
home and the group becomes FAM
lily strong in the bonds of affection
ate understanding. Fathers voice
should never be that Of the execu-
toner. 1t should be the most In
spring sound his children know