The Waterbury Democrat., 1939-12-26
City Prepares for Hectic New Years Eve CelebratioI
SOUTH BRITAIN BRIEFS
BY BILL oARRlous


 BY BILL GARRlGuS
 A good story of Yankee thrift goes the rounds, Not so long ago. a local resident bought Q battery from Q village service station, paid % down and drove away, Weeks passed, then months, but the man made no further pay- ments. One day, the service sta- ton man oollared the motorist and demanded payment in full. "Why, darn 1t all, John, that bat tery's warranted for eighteen months, amt ite" the purchaser complained, "of course 1t is," said the merchant, But I've got to get my money" Well, if you'll wait until ind out whether its any good or not, maybe I'll pay you. but I gotta he sure about that guarantee"
 They've heard about South Britain In New York. Just the other day, some Of those New York sports wanted to smoke some special -- extra hams, and they combed tho ooun- tryslde for proper smoking wood, Orders went out to Vermont and New Hampshire, sampels were de- llvered, tried out, and rejected. Just about the time when those Gotham butchers had given up and decided, tO use peanut Shuoks, somebody remembered all the little country smoke-hoNses up here In Nutmegia, and decided to make one more try A wire Go South Britain brought Q quick reply, and samples that were so full of honest fragrance that it made the chef at the Waldorf cry with Joy, By return mall came the order" ,"Flve cords of hick. oFy and Ave cords of rock maplc!" Jack Shortt landed the oon- tract. The wood came from the Bates Rock forest, Now New Workers can have properly smOk- cd hams and bacon for Christmas,
 Since that new book debunking tho various intelligence tests came of the press, local students have been concerned about the prob- able turn of events ia the exams for employees at the new State Training school, It seems that 0 new authority has discovered that most I. c. tests are really just 50 much lost motion, Most people knew it all the while. The best way to pick c good wood chopper Is to give him an axe and turn him loose. Maybe he couldn't write out all tho motions but he can pile up the wood.
 When the farmers gather at Bull Moose MIX Block these frosty mornings, blue woodsni0ke splrals upwards from dozens of farmhouse chlmneys and the air is filled with homcspun fragrance. Long Bob Chase used to like to watch that smoke, even though it meant more work for him. Bob had come mighty pleasant Ideas about iirewood. He always said that good, seasoned hickory and ash was Just stored.up sunshine.
 Nate Deardsley has Q memorial woodplle, FACT,, The last Job that Pereey Deardsley did before he went away to the wards was to stack up c ful woodShed of tho neatest weedpiles you ever saw. Nate kept those ranks eX- aetly as Percy left them, just in case something went wrong and a Hun bullet found itS mark, Percy same home in good order, but Nate hasn't ever touched that wood, A weodpile Is c homely thing, but it can be surrounded with tho tenderest sentiment on earth, Suppose Percy Deardsley hadn't been lucky, suppose ho had been like such Q lot of mon we know9 it would have been sort of eomporting to his friends to have looked at that woodpile, Many men have lesser memorials.
 Chrlstmasi Woodpiles! Com. f0rts. We take these things for granted. They're all q part of the yarp and woof of life. We never miss them, until they turn up missing. A South Brit- ain veteran, Just a little short this Christmas, spun . yarn the other evening, about Xmas, 1918. ft seems that thls man was at Kalserseeh, Germany, back In 'is, and the grub was low and the w0odpile exhausted. You couldn't chop wood In the Rhine Country, As we do here. Trcese were pres esous. But the stoves was colder than Q bankers < heart, 50 this trooper got . pack train and, with . few determined souls, ralded . railhead and brought back enough s0fe eoad brlokets Co keep the biiiets ln Kalsersoeh warm for al. most . month! Our folks were Q little hungry, that Christmas of