Henderson daily dispatch. (Henderson, N.C.) 1914-1995, 1939-10-27

Hey, Ruge!" If you don't know
what that means just stand still and
continue to argue and few minutes
later you will swallow two Of your
front teeth, get cursed out by the en-
tire carnival and get nice, big
, goose egg on your hat rack for a
chaser
Now you amble up the midway
, again where you run into something
that looks like one of those new army
pup tents, and you think it is freak
side show. But now you realize you
must be mistaken for the ding
thing is moving and you see some
thing resembling shoes prOtruding
from under the canvas. Then you
smile wistfully, for you recognize the
thing is Mrs. Johnsbunl1er from over
! on Cucumber street.
rlllaly YOU come 10 a hall, 1Or
cvcI yUOuy Is pushing, showing, UlllllS
ana grLnlung lneIr way through Vic
eXcILcu moo. NOW Mrs. JOnnSUunkcr
ludheS Step III reverse ana cfuS1eS
ner number ten down on your sore
lOe she doesn't even turn around
wnIIe you swallow hard TO keep the
wafer OUT Oh your eyes. Now ABOUT
,ne TIME you lnlng the coast Is clear
Mrs. JohnSbunker puts it IN reverse
AGAIN and backs up on DOJn Oh your
1eet tramplng those cOrnS and bun
IONS to bits; while you stand there
,seaatlvely shuddering, waiting every
moment to hear the bones crack.
| Before the coast is clear, and be-
! lore you can get around Mrs. Johns
bunker, Cousin Minnie and her seven
brats surround you. Timothy, the
baby has his mouth open SO wide you
can see his craW and the sound he
IS emitting sounds like the siren on
a 1915 fire truck. Cousin Minnie just
came by the ice cream stand and all
1ne children have a cone OF cream
which they jab on your back, coat
and trousers until you look like a
third grade school teacher with one
of those new polka-dOt dresses.
Down at the end of the midway
you see a large crowd gathering and
lyou hear them shouting joVially
And now you see a beVy OF girls
dancing and twisting in some ar
tistic movements. Years back your
father warned you about going to
such diabolic places. But when you
try to get in closer you glimpse Uncle
Josh who has been down couple Of
years with rheumatiSh and he is
supposed to be walking with a cane,
but now he is standing erect as a
sergeant in Uncle Sans army. He
I,
tache, smiling, and bouncing his
hands back and forth mirthfully,
and when the girls go inside, to give
their performance, he is the first to
purchase a ticket.
By eight o'clock you will go by
the ferris wheel where you will see
a nice little broad standing close to
the fence, twisting around, wiring
ing her hands and yelling jubilant-
ly, isn't it wonderful. | wish | had
some one to ride with me-" And I'M
odubtedly you will squeeze your way
through the fatuous throng and lott
er around Susie; if that is her name
And if you aren't dunderhead you
will ride with Susie TO keep her from
falling out of the ferris wheel, for
way back in school you were taught
to be kind to pretty girls and dumb
animals.
About ten or eleven o'clock your
eyes are red, sore and swollen from
gazing at the hula-hulu dancers, and
your apparel resembles those of a
refuge from an Arkansas dust bowl
$50 you go home that night tired,
broke but happy. After all, you
realize the fair is indispensable.
What would you do without them?
HENRY AYSCUE
Henderson, Route l, Oct 26, 1899