The Key West citizen. [volume] (Key West, Fla.) 1879-current, 1939-07-29
Chapter IA
Paradise OF The Penny

Paradise of The Penny
DIFFENDERFER'S Penny Ar
~ cade offers its patrons a wide
variety OF amusements at, as the
name implies, small cost. Where
fore Mr.. William Steele, jostling
his way through the crowded lob-
by, found himself mingling freely
with the hoi polloi. But he pushed
on doggedly and entered the
tawdry tobacco-reeking establish
ment.
It is supposed that, had William
been appraised earlier of the sar-
torial influences prevailing in this
paradise of the penny, he would
have accomplished its invasion in
more suitable habiliments. As It
was, he was attired in a perfectly
cut linen suit. brown tie cool with
white polka dots and a Panama
hat with a racily-colored band. To
say that he was distinctive here
would be to understate grossly. He
was, as the poem has it, last, lone
LEST, LOWEST. exquisite, apart. And,
being such, he excited comment,
much OF It unfavorable.
But though there was a suspi-
cion Of yelled animosity in the air,
no one seemed to care to manifest
his disapproval Of William in a
businesslike way. In the days of his
collegiate magnifcence Mr.. Steele
had been the mainstay Of the Stan
ford eleven's attack. Upon one oc-
casion, after a particularly neat
bit OF attacking, he had been al
luded to by a phrase slinging
newspaper scribe as the "Torrid
Terror Of the Rose Bowl" Now,
despite his life of ease and luxury,
he still sported shoulders as befit
q Torrid Terror of the Rose Bowl.
And tough egg of the first part re-
spects such shoulders in tough egg
OF the second part, even though
tough egg of the second part be
camoufaged by white linen suit
As consequence, the progress of
William through Diffenderfer's
Penny Arcade was impeded physi-
cally Dy none.
The man in charge of the shoot
ing gallery, however, accosted him
Hospitality. He was an attractive
personality with nose like a
hark-hook.
TRY yer luck wild da rifles, bud
dyg" he suggested.
William waved him aside. But
the shooting gallery magnate
didn't stay aside.
Jaw, come on" he wheedled.
Business is bad"
Sorry" William said.
The shooting gallery man APP
peared to be q disciple Of Joe Pen
ner,s-
''Doncha wanna shoot a duck?"
he inquired, almost reprovingly.
William said that no, he did not
want TO shoot a duck. He was on
tlle peiBt ef plHnging deeper into
the jungle of Diffenderfer's when
1t occurred to him that the shoot
lng-gallery man might be of serv-
ice. He paused, therefore, and
drew fifty cents from his pocket.
Listen" he said, Il don't want
70 shoot. But here's a half a buck.
It's yours if you'll take me to the
East brothers. I'm told they work
here.s
The shooting gallery man
scratched his head, a popular pas
time at Diffenderfer's.
Don know EN-" he said at last,
eyeing the fifty cents wolfshly.
HELL" Bill said.
Sure dey woik here?" asked
the shooting gallery man.
"A fellow said they did," replied
Bill. Horace and Morris East"
The sinister countenance of the
shooting gallery man cleared. He
reached a grimy paw for the fifty
cents.
well, now why didn' va say va
was lookin' fer Horace and Morris
in de foist placer" he said aggriey-
edly. Sure, | know dem guys.
Cmon. I'll take va"
'sWhere?" said Bill mystified.
Phantasmagoria
THE shooting gallery man
4 pointed to a platform n the rear
Of Diffenderferss. William, follow
ing his finger, started.
Upon the platform was the odd
est collection Of humanity that he
had ever seen. AT first glance it
seemed a confused phantasma-
goria such as might appear to a
mind reduced by a couple of dozen
champagne cocktails. It finally re-
solved itself, however, into a lady
OF Himalayan proportions; am
other lady whose countenance,
hands, arms and shoulders were
undeniably lilac olored; gentle
man who either was, or cleverly
contrived to give the impression
Of being, q skeleton sitting on a
STRAIGHTFORWARD chair; an ourang-
outang: a lean cadaverous indi-
vidual with side whiSkers who
was, conservatively speaking, ten
feet tall; a girl of debutante age
wreathed In snakes; what appeared
TO be man with two heads and
two bodies; and a family Of mid
gets. Gazing upon this likely look
ing assemblage Williams jaw
dropped and he permitted himself
the luxury of gasp.
But had he been accustomed to
life backstage at Diffenderfer's, he
would have eschewed such rude
ness. For then he would have
known the facts. The lady who
must have required the services Of
q derrick in order to get out Of bed
was simply Mrs. Gussie Zilch,
alias Madame Abdullah, The Fat
test Woman in The World, weight
go lbs. The lilac-colored siren
would have been to him just BERTHE