The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1939-05-11
"NOONANISMS"
(From the Baudette RegiOnJ

Farmers are against that daylight
saving time bill in the legislature. A
farmer is used to getting up when the
rooster crows, and moving the clock
up an hour went fool rooster.
Political speeches are being made
over the radio again. That's close
enough.
The ladies looked beautiful in their
Easter finery although we thought that
some of the hats looked like cans of
condensed milk with ears.
The best after dinner speech we ever
heard was by local citizen, who got
up, gulped couple of times, vainly
tried to swallow his Adams apple
and sat down.
A woman south of town knocked her
husband down and tossed him out of
the door the other night. The next
day she relented, however, and let her
battered half in again. Who called
them the weaker sex?
Minnesota has 81 counties that are
dry, or perhaps a better way to put it
would be that Minnesota has q counties
that are supposed to be dry.
A legislator says that if the four
cent gas tax is passed there will be
less gas used. Here's hoping he is re-
ferring to legislators.
A good way to hand the depression
a palatial punch on the nose is to
plant a garden.
flock there, where there is more loaf
ing to do.
Both congress and the legislature
should keep taxes down. The average
taxpayer feels about as safe as the
worm that grabbed the early bird by
| the beak.
Schenectady, N. Y, has asked for
twenty more liquor taverns. The move
should be voted down. 1t is hard enough
for man to pronounce that name when
he is sober.
The country will get back to its
census again next year.
A bill has been introduced in the
legislature to grant liquor licenses in
towns that ere dry under county
option. They might just as well pour
that idea back in the bottle.
One thing is very apparent these
days. If war breaks out in Europe
there will be no United States boys
going to the other side of the Atlantic
puddle.
If you get the flu there is one sure
precaution. Don't do anything you
you'd like to do.
| LII 6iAoAcGOAC WOulu SCl ptGlGT It.
suits if the rural members didn't vote
against everything the cities want, and
the city members didn't vote against
Everything the rural districts want. Why
not an All-Minnesota legislature.
Beware of city peddlers You can
trust many of them about as far as you
can throw a guinea pig by the tail, and
guinea pig has not tail.
80
Now is the time to clear up your back
yard OF empty beer bottles, vacant
shoes, disabled cans, untenanted ban
ana skins and other debris. Don't have
folks tilt their noses as they pass
your place.
A nice warm rain would be as welcome
to this district as three bars on slot
machine.
The fishing season will be here soon,
and all boy scouts from to 80 can
hardly wait.
Musolini wants to go down in history,
and he is likely to take an awful drop
soon.
They are comparing Hitler with Nero
They'll spell it with a ~" in another
year.
Several wives in a nearby town are
figuring on cutting their husbands hair.
a lady barber is to locate there soon.
Pictures show that the 1889 bathing
girl won't wear much, but that it will
tit her Like the skin on grape
Another ice company has curled up
for good. Perhaps too many frozen
assets.
Several bills in the legislature pro-
vide higher taxes on liquor and beer.
1t is aimed at the unsteady steady
customers of the tavern.
Fear of Punishment
Indians of Guiana have a great
fear of supernatural punishment for
murder. It is there believed that a
spirit brings punishment in the form
OF sickness or death, hostile aveng-