The Waterbury Democrat., 1939-04-25

N had.
 They don't have bankers outside the tent shows at the Island, so they all moved up to Times Square. There you'll find the harsh voiced, double talk spielers trying to pull you into the burlesque shows and dime movie houses. You can get all the popcorn, taffy, fruit drinks and hot dogs you want right in the beaneries and stands around Times Square.
 The fireworks are the greatest in the world. No rockets that flare up for a moment and then subside into darkness, but fire works that burn steadily all night and don't go out until the first signs of dawn tighten the sky. THE THREE-LEGGED MEN
 Did you ever see the famous trademark of Steeplechase, the Funny Place, portrait of a man with a smile from ear to ear? Well, Broadway has Martha Rave and Joe E. Brown, who can smile just as wide and look just as happy.
 Step up and see the greatest strong-man in the world, Jack Dempsey. Instead of 8 leopard skin he wears a tuxedo and when he's welcoming folks at his Tav- ern he can crush human hand.
 See the three-legged boys! Not one, ladies and gentlemen, but a whole herd-the Broadway col- umnists who can get around faster than anyone else.
 No two-headed people on Broad way, but we can go that trick one better, because we've got the greatest monopoly of two-faced people and pin-heads in the world.
 If it's fire-eaters you want, go into any smart dinner or after theater rendezvous and watch the crowds devour those sizzling plat ters.
 MIDTOWN MERRY Y-GO-ROUND See the sword-swallowers! The boys who eat their peas off knives in the local cafeterias.
 Whats rare about albinos? Did you ever see the platinum blonde blue eyed gals who pour out of the stage entrances at burlesque houses and musical shows.
 The old trick of saving a wo- man in half? Why we have chaps around town who can break a woman's heart with a mere glance.
 See the India Rubber Check Man!
 This was to Olsen and Johnson, whom some think wilder than the men of Borneo.
 The Tunnel of Love is mild when you think of the numerous cellar night clubs around town that still haven't found out about electric lights. Romance runs riot in them and you're lucky if you come out with the same girl you brought.
 In Coney Island you pay a nickel to go on the carousel, but on Broadway you're continually on the merry-go-round.
 Incubator babies have nothing on the babes who hang out at the Stork Club and don't know what change in temperature is. SALARY-WEIGHT GUESSERS
 It would be hard to find bark CT or carnival sheik with the hair oil polish of William Gaxton.
 There's no dog-faced boy around Broadway (none we could men, tion) but who in any sideshow in Coney Island has a nose like Jimmy Durante?
 Step up and see the weight guessers.
 Maybe they can't tell your ex- act weight but sitting around a table at Sardi's they're sure to guess within a few dollars the gross of any show for the week or what such and such person gets in his pay envelope. They usually can spot that within three dol lars.
 We haven't frozen custards here just frozen assets.
 The open-air taxicabs are roll- ing chairs and they're just as slow when weaving through traffic. In- stead of the penny game opera tors, Broadway has 10 per cent agents.
 This way to the midtown mid-