Imperial Valley press., 1939-01-18
Henry McLemore
Picks Four Winners
May Take New Job
By HENRY McLEMORE


Goodbye and farewell, dear Public
| Adieu. chow. auf wiedersehen.
| and adjo Also one brisk ta-ta.
Because this may be my last ef-
fort as a sportSwriter before en-
barking in a new career as a han
dicapper of race horses. Brilliant
/ " successful in my debut as q Sc
lector at Santa Anita yesterday, Of
fers for my services are coming in
from all parts of the world.
/ PCStmen and messengers have
/ been to my house so many times
| since I named four winners on yes
/ terdayS card that they are calling
me by first name. helping them
selves TO cold snacks out of the
ice box. and mixing their own
/ drinks.
Some Of the offers are almost too
/ substantial to turn down. A col
| lect one from Turkey, for example
| guarantees me everything but ri
parian rights to the Dardenelles if
I will only come over and pick the
winners I would do all right there
too. because 1 am master of the
Turkey trot. From far off Arabia
came an offer to spend a thousand
and one nights in that country, all
expenses paid except transporta-
ton, room and board.
One of the leading English tout
sheets cabled DO nothing until
you talk with us, and a prominent
French scratch sheet urged that l
join its staff because fifty thou
sand FTenchmen are tired of being
wrong"
Very tempting. and very flatter-
ing. too. because until yesterday
when I served as guest handicap
per for a Los Angeles paper, I did
not know that l could interpret
horses as easily as most men can
say Sanskrit. Until | agreed to
serve as guest Handicapped 1 had
never paid much attention TO the
horse To me. the horse had al
ways been nothing more vital than
the chief source of supply for base
ball covers, and something Tom
Mix and other western movie stars
employed to overtake the villain
who had run away with the hero
inc. But, faced with the task OF
selecting horses on which thou
sands of citizens were going to
risk their money, made serious
study of the animal. I never knew,
until I settled down TO finding out
about the horse, that he originated
in Arabia and at one time was
tree climbing. Or that many hor-
ses don't know word of English
and will respond only half-heart-
edly to such commands as Get
upl' "Ahoa!" and Roll over and
play dead
Horses aren't very smart, either.
There never has been a horse, my
research revealed, to make Who's
Who, hold a chain at Vassar, or
win the Pulitzer prize. The horse,
in fact. is very dumb, and it was
this knowledge of his backward
ness that enabled me to name four
winners in one afternoon. In max
ing my selections, started with
horse on the program who gave a
hoot whether he won Or lost. Nat
urally, then, I forgot all about
horses. and concentrated on the
Jockeys. I knew that all jockeys
liked to win. because jockey gets
more money when he rides a Win
ner..
MY problem, then, was TO locate
the Jockeys who liked most to win.
Knowing none of their telephone
numbers, l had to go about solv-
ing the problem in a cold, scienti-
fic manner Taking one of my
hats-the pork pie with the feather
in it, as recall-I placed all the
names of the jockeys in it. Then
as a further guarantee Of accuracy,
I called in one of my auntS who
looks a great deal like horse in
a sharp light, and asked her to
pick out eight names.
She obliged, as we'll she might,
being as she has lived off Of ME
for seven years, or ever since her
husband foolishly went to work
without his gloves and leit some
fingerprints..
Swiftly, yet with extreme care,
she pulled out eight names, four
of which were of Winners-Ace
Call, Seabread, Define Bank, and
Our Mat.
Yesterday l was the toast of San
Ia Anita. The burnt toast, to be
exact, because I really burned when
I refused to play any Of my selec-
/ tions and was touted off TO a col
lections of Wire-haired fox ter
riers who. after showing no early
foot, displayed a great lack OF
staying power.
The more I think about yester-
day, the more I think III stay in
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