Evening star., 1939-04-03
ChildKnOws
g.
When He Is
IT.
:Disliked
e.
!. Response to Your
Manner Always
Very Evident
BY ANGELO PATRI.

The first essential in relationship
: to a child is that one should like
him. Children are intuitive about
this. 1t is impossible to conceal
from them any feeling of affection
or any feeling of dislike. Immedi-
.ately the feeling wakens. the child
gets it. If he knows you do not
like him all influence you might
exercise vanishes. Rarely can he
be won back. He will remember and
! be on guard.
:, 1t is easy to say that teachers
and parents should love all chill
dren alike, but it is impossible. 1t
is easy to love lovable children and
quite impossible to love unlovely
children. and there are such. The
best one can do is to like the good
that is in them and try not to see
their unlovely traits.
Mothers have some Of this diff
Guilty. They will always have a
strong maternal feeling for their
children, no matter what they do
or leave undone, but nonetheless
they will have a richer love for
those whose qualities are endear-
ing. It is best to face that situa-
ton, so that one may be on guard
to do what is right, what is gen.
erously kind for the unlovely one.
If at all possible the child should
AA tho iy,AYInrnn af
the person who dislikes him. If
parent feels such a dislike rising
against a child in his family the
very best thing to do is to send
that child where he can be loved. It
is usually possible to find some one
who truly likes the child you dislike.
More than likely your dislike arises
association with some one else. You
may not be able to help your feel
ing, but you are duty bound to
help the child. Give him a chance
somewhere else with somebody un-
prejudiced.
I have known such dislike to
be directed toward child because
he was like some one who had
created an unpleasant memory of
himself. He inherited likeness
to a relative that is disliked, has
his mannerisms, the very tone of
his voice, his very gestures. Well,
he couldn't help that. Maybe the
resemblance stops with the outer
appearance. Maybe it is actual and
alive Again. the child cannot help
1T. And, remember. he knows you
feel that way about him and feels
badly about it. Children suffer
when they feel themselves disliked.
Give the child chance with some
body who does like him. I assure
you there is always somebody.
= Don't let a false sense of duty
make you hold a child in such
bondage, for bondage it is. No child's
spirit can be free when he lives in
an atmosphere Of dislike. He will
get along better in home with less
luxury, even in one of poverty. where
there is liking and affection for
him, than in fine home where he
is not wanted. Duty cannot take the
place of love or affection or liking.
1t is a cold force, and it's flavor is
bitter in the heart of child.
If you truly like child you can
do almost anything you wish with
him. If you dislike him you can do
nothing. And it is better to be
honest about it and give him a
chance with some one else who may
think he is just about right.
. Mr.. Patri has prepared leaflet
entitled Baby Carriages" in which
he tells parents how to make the
carriage ride happy, profitable ex-
"perience. Send for it, addressing
your request to Angelo Patri, Child
Psychology Department of this pa
per. Inclose self addressed,
stamped (3-cenD envelope.
(Copyright. 1939)