davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star., 1939-06-18
Order of the Eastern Star

At the organization meeting OF
the General Temple Auxiliary Boare
the following officers were selected
Madella L. Smith, past matron OF
Lebanon Chapter, president; Irma
l.. Smith, past matron of Miriam
Chapter, first vice president; Lillian
Bennett, past matron of William F
Hunt Chapter. second vice president;
Anne Guilford, past matron OF
Naomi Chapter, secretary, and Flor
ence E. Lewis, past matron of Hope
Chapter, treasurer.
Plans have been completed for the
garden party to be held at the new
Eastern Star Temple property, COM
mencing next Wednesday. June 21
and continuing through June "a. A
supper will be served each evening
between and 7 O'Clock.
The various chapters have been
assigned special nights to be in at
tendance at the garden party, as
follows:
Wednesday - Lebanon. Martha
Harmony, Washington Centennial
Naomi, Hope, Trinity. Treaty Oak
Chevy Chase and Brightwood.
Thursday Acacia, Bethlehem
Electa, Temple, Miriam, Good Will
Lafayette, Harding, Congress Lodge
and Mount Pleasant.
Friday-East Gate. Joseph H
Milans, Esther, Friendship, Gavel
Mizpah, Cathedral, Areme, Federal
and st. Johns Lodge.
Saturday-Unity, Fidelity, Ruth
Loyalty, Brookland. William F. Hunt
Columbia, Joppa, Bethany and Ia
koma.
There will be dancing, puppet
show, doll exhibit and various
booths
On the evening of June 2l there
will be fashion show.
The Auxiliary Home Board of
Harmony Chapter will meet at the
home Of Mrs Fanny Gill, 6Ol5 Broad
Branch road NV. one June 10, with
Miss Dorothy Hair as assistant
hostess.
Gertrude Schrock, matron of Miz-
pah Chapter, announces a business
meeting on Tuesday evening. Re-
freshments. The meetings for July
and August have been called off.
Emily E. Hayes, Areme Chapter
announces the regular meeting on
June 81 has been called off because
Of the temple garden party. The
picnic scheduled for June 20 at Nc
Lean, Va, has been Cancelled due
to the dedication of the new temple
Elsie Mattern, matron of Takoma
Chapter, announces the next meet
ing will be initiation, also will cele-
brate the anniversaries of members
having birthdays in April, May and
June.
The picnic supper which was to
have been held June "a at the ma
irons home will be postponed, as
the chapter is invited to participate
in the temple lawn party that day
The date of the picnic will be an
nounced later.
The Ways and Means Committee
of Cathedral Chapter will meet Mon
day evening at 303 Cecil street, Uni
versity Park, Md, with Mrs. Mar
garet Burgess and Mrs. Mary Her
bert as hostesses.
The Home Board will sponsor a
luncheon at the Thomas Circle Club,
1926 Massachusetts, avenue NV, at
pm, June 20.
Chevy Chase Chapter will meet
Tuesday evening. Members having
birthdays during April. May and
June will be honored. Meetings will
not be held during July and August
The Saturday Evening Club will
meet with Mr.. and Mrs. Ross Snyder
at Darnestown, Md.
Acacia Chapter will meet Tues
day night. The meetings for July
August and the first meeting in Sep
tember have been called off.
The Star Points will have an out
ing today at the summer cottage of
Past Matron Freda Tuttle and Past
Evening star., 1939-06-18
|WorshipfuI Master,
Will Hold 0utinq
Next Saturday
Variety Of Sports
Will Be Enjoyed
At littIepoee Farm

The fourth annual outing and
field day of the Association of Wor-
shipful Masters of 1886 perpetuated
will be held next Saturday after
noon at the Littlepage Farm, Bowie,
Md. There will be baseball games
and other sports. Members of the
Masters Associations of 1885, 1896,
1887 and 1893 have been invited.
Robert B. Doing Is president of the
1896 association.
Members of Hiram Royal Arch
Chapter have planned an entertain
ment following a business meeting
on Tuesday evening and request all
Royal Arch Masons to attend.
On Wednesday evening the Eel
lowcraft Club of Benjamin Frank
lin Lodge will meet at 200 Rhode Is
land avenue NE, followed by en-
tertainment and refreshments.
David Iroff, master of George c.
Whiting Lodge, has designated the
meeting of Thursday evening as
visitors night. The bowling team
OF the lodge, 1899 champions of the
Masonic Bowling League, will be
honored. Members of the several
other teams in the league have been
invited. The entertainment will be
in the form of boxing and wrestling
bouts by the Police Boys Club. Mai.
Ernest w. Brown has been invited
to make short address.
Members of Kallipolis Grotto, ac-
companied by the Drill Corps, will
leave today for Atlantic City to at
tend the Golden Jubilee Convention
OF the M. o. v. P. E. r., which will
be held June 10 to %. The Drill
Corps is entered in the interna-
tional competitive drill contest
which will be held on Wednesday
at Bader Field.
Capitol Forest Tall Cedars of
Lebanon will sponsor a moonlight
excursion on the Steamer Potomac
next Wednesday. Grand Tall Cedar
Capt. G. M. Little has appointed
Past Grand Tall Cedar J. A. Hal
luin chairman.
Charles B. Wayland, master of
Mount Pleasant Lodge, extends an
invitation to members of the fra
ternity belonging to the District
National Guard. to be present at
the communication tomorrow eve
ming and witness the conferring of
the M. M. degree
Michel G. Daoud, master of Albert
Pike Lodge. has designated tomor-
row evening as past masters night.
The M. NJ degree will be conferred
by cast of the past masters.
The Fellowcraft Club of Joseph
H. Milans Lodge will meet tomorrow
evening, when plans will be COM
pleted for their summer activities.
The Fellowcraft Club of Warren
G. Harding Lodge will meet tomor-
row at 7:30 pm. at l4l2 New York
avenue NV. The club is sponsoring
moonlight excursion on the
steamer Potomac on Wednesday,
leaving the Seventh Street wharves
at 8:45 pm.
TrestlebOard.
Monday-Potomac, F. c.: B. B.
French, business; Anacosita. F. c.;
Pentalpha, business; Mount Pleas
ant, M NJ; Joppa, special F. c.;
Albert Pike M. M: Sojourners. E. A.:
Orient Commandery, business
Washington Council Royal and Sc
lect Masters, business.
Tuesday-National, E. A.: Arme-
MUS, business: Myron M. Parker,
business; King David. M. M; Lafay-
cite Royal Arch. business Hiram
Evening star., 1939-06-18
Washington Council
Elects Rand|ey
As Grand knight
Ladies' Night to Be
Held at kenwood
Club June 28

Robert Handley. sr., was elected
grand knight of Washington Coun-
Gil, knights of Columbus, at the
regular meeting Tuesday. Other
Evening star., 1939-06-18
Keane Council Elects.

ing officers: Grand knight, James
F. Kehoe; deputy grand knight,
Maurice OConnell; chancellor
Francis F. Miller; warden, William
A. Mulligan; recording secretary,
DR.. Joseph brennan; advocate,
James Connor: treasurer. John M.
Connell, jr: inside guard, NJ Hen
messy; outside guard, Louis Jones;
trustees, DR.. George R. Ellis (three
years., James F. Cavanaugh 1.-TWO
years. and Eugene Nichols zone
year.
Delegate to the State convention
are: Grand Knight James F. Kehoe,
Past Grand Knight Francis j.
Rafteery: alternate to grand knight,
DR.. George R. Ellis, and alternate
to past grand knight, James Nc
Keon.
The council celebrated its 41st
anniversary with dinner at the
Continental Hotel last night.
Robert L. Sheridan was elected
grand knight of Potomac Council,
succeeding Andrew M. McCallum.
Other officers elected included Rob-
ert Lucey. deputy grand knight:
John j. Mccarthy, chancellor; Ray
mond Caldwell warden; James T.
Barbour. recorded; A W. Neale,
treasurer; Martin J. Manning. ad-
vocate Francis A. Meunier, trustee,
and Thomas F. Callahan, Joseph
Dawson and Michael Aloysius Grif-
fin, guards. Charles j. Considine,
was elected delegate to the 1910
State convention, with William G.
Feely as his alternate. The Offices
of chaplain, financial secretary, lee
turer, assistant warden and organist
are appointive ones and will be an
nounced by Mr.. Sheridan when he
assumes Office on July /.
Evening star., 1939-06-18

Neff. who was not a candidate to
succeed himself. John w. Grambo
received the vote for inside guard
and John Dean and Eugene Ricci
for outside guards.
A ladies night will be held
by the council June % at the Ken
wood Country Club. Dinner will
be served from to 8 o'clock, fol-
lowed by dancing
Evening star., 1939-06-18

Acacia Chapter will meet Tues
day night. The meetings for July
August and the first meeting in Sep
tember have been called off.
The Star Points will have an out
ing today at the summer cottage of
Past Matron Freda Tuttle and Past
The Daily Alaska empire. [volume] (Juneau, Alaska) 1926-1964, 1939-07-31
EIGHTEEN CONE
IN FROM CANAL
E ABOARD YUKON

on the way to Sitka from Lynn
Canal via Juneau ON The triangle
run, the steamer Yukon was IN port
during the early hours this morn
ing, bringing in eighteen passengers
and taking out 81.
From Skagway and Haines pas
sengers were w. D. Gross, Charles
Rude, A. w. Douglas, Bruce Bower,
Inez Soldin. Mrs. J. F. ELS. j. F.
Ellis. Mrs. C. B. Allen H. d. Gum,
Joseph Haggar, Rose Marie Haggar,
Mrs. j. M. Haggar, Frank Reedy,
j. T. Yeargin, Ivar Conn, j. Conn,
]. Hassan, Bill Hansen.
Sailing to Seattle were w. j.
Clark, Mrs. w. j. Clark, Barbara
Beckett, Mr.. and Mrs. C. H. Smith,
Lilah Bradford, John Mclaughlin,
Charles Proctor, Mrs. Charles Proc
tor, Muriel Goodwin, M. Alerath,
Mr.. and Mrs. E. v. Jenny.
To Ketchikan-Wes overly.
To Sitka - Ken Edwards, oscar
Hart, A. j. Nelson.
To Tenakee - John Smith. T. E.
Engstrom, H. j. FloreSco, V. Turner,
Mrs. v. Turner.
To Petersburg - T. Robert, p
Blake.
The Daily Alaska empire. [volume] (Juneau, Alaska) 1926-1964, 1939-07-31
HEAVY LANDINGS
FROM KALIBUTER
FLEET in TODAY
Prices Firm as Fishermen
Look 10 New Fields
10 End Season

Sixty two thousand pounds of
halibut were landed in Juneau to-
day from six halibuters as the Area
Two halibuting season draws to an
end.
The Thelma brought in 10000
pounds, selling to New England for
7 and sos; the Hyperion $500 to
ACF for the same price; Dixon, ID
600 to ACT at 7 and 5; Spencer, TO-
600 to Sebastian Stuart at 7 and s.;
Ford, 10000 pounds to New England
at and sos, and Emma, 5000
pounds to Sebastian-S Stuart at and
sos
Many of the Juneau halibuters
who have now finished their season
in Area Two may make trip to
Area Three or fish black cod for a
trip or two Some are going trolling
but all are planning to follow some
branch of fishing to exc out the
season.
The Daily Alaska empire. [volume] (Juneau, Alaska) 1926-1964, 1939-07-31
SCORE ARRIVE
ON COLUMBIA;
as MANY SAIL.

A score Of passengers came in
to Juneau and a score left the city
when the steamer Columbia passed
southbound through here early this
morning.
From Seward passengers were
Mr.. and Mrs vernon Turner, E.
V. Jenney, B. James.
From Valdez III NJ. D. Williams.
Lelah Bradford, MIS- f. Y. Jen-
ney. George LaFromhaise, Robert
IaFfcmbaise, +. Pestefield, John
Harkin
From Cordova Virgil Hume,
Jack Hofstee, Hele. Haliberg and
Anton Thcrne
From Yakutat-Dr r.. L. Carl
son, M. Richard, ROBBERS Frank,
Opal More. H. O'Connor, H Cole
man.
Sailing to Seattle were Johnnie
Smart Hilda Taylor, Q. Siagle, c.
Berglin Clyde Smith w, A. Bauers,
Mrs r. r. Hogan, John McLaugh-
lin. John Perry, Mrs c. A. fyner,
j. M Tlndell Tommy Anderson,
George Bidniek. c. C Bloxham,
w. Crawford
To Kctchilan-M S Rogers, H
Sporting, DR.. G. F. Freeburgef,
Charles Demmert
To Wrangell-N A. McEachran
The Daily Alaska empire. [volume] (Juneau, Alaska) 1926-1964, 1939-07-31
TNrEE PACKERS
Bring SALMON

Three salmon packers sold car
goes here this afternoon, although
for a time it was felt that Sitka
friction between fish buyers and
Alta trollers would prevent the
unloading Of one packer.
The Pelican, disputed carrier in
question, unloaded $4,000 pounds
when storage workers received re-
lease orders. from Ketchikan The
Sadie unloaded 5000 pounds and
the Fern discharged 1900
Salmon prices new are Il cents
a Pound for large reds, eight cent
pound for medium seven cents
pound for whites and five cents
for cohoes.
The Daily Alaska empire. [volume] (Juneau, Alaska) 1926-1964, 1939-07-31
CUTTER SAILS
TO AID CRAFT
BEFORE STORM
Vessel Rainbow Disabled
Boat EIma Missing
Off Whale Bay

The Coast Guard cutter Haida
sailed at noon today ON a tri-fold
mission of mercy and policing the
sea.
Sailing at 1890 o'clock, the cut
ter will go first to Rocky Island, two
miles northwest of Five Finger Light
station. south of here in Frederick
Sound to give aid to the disabled
vessel Rainbow.
The Rainbow, registered out of
Port Madison, is anchored in open
water on the windward side of the
island with the engine dead. A
storm is brewing and places the
craft in a dangerous position.
Search for TroIler
After giving the Rainbow such aid
as may be necessary, the Haida will
continue out to sea, sailing around
the south end of Baranof Island in
search of the trolling boat Elma,
missing since July TO-
The Elma. about 80 feet long. gray
in color was captained by Martin
Johnson, who was repeatedly in poor
health and without much food when
spoken last at North Cape, Whale
Bay, July 10 by Ole Haynes on the
boat Eddy.
Haynes said johnson had told
him he was going to Sitka, but
he never appeared there. while
plane and boat searches have proved
futile.
While out of port, the Haida will
spend a few days on halibut patrol
in Area Two, which closed July %
The Daily Alaska empire. [volume] (Juneau, Alaska) 1926-1964, 1939-07-31
GEORGE TAKES OUT
FOUR PASSENGERS

-Four passengers went out on the
Prince George of the Canadian Ma
tional Line Saturday night.
They were Rowland King, Bud
Holloway, Betty herman and N. p.
Stacey.
The Daily Alaska empire. [volume] (Juneau, Alaska) 1926-1964, 1939-07-31
MARINE NEWS
STEAMER MOVEMENTS
f. 9


NORTHBOUND
9 Aleutian scheduled to arrive at
4:30 tomorrow morning and
sails westward at 10 a. m.
Should have 80 days mail
. aboard.
. North Sea scheduled to arrive
about noon tomorrow.
Princess Louise scheduled to
arrive tomorrow afternoon
or evening.
. Taku due Tuesday night.
. Prince Robert scheduled to ar
rive p. m Wednesday.
. Duchess of Richmond due at
8 a. m. Sunday, Aug. 6, sail
ing at 6 p. m. On special
cruise.
SCHEDULED SAILINGS
Prince Rupert scheduled to sail
from Vancouver tonight at 8
o'clock.
. Alaska scheduled to sail from
. Seattle 8 a. m. tomorrow.
Baranof scheduled to sail
from Seattle Aug. 2, 9 a. m.
. Princess Alice scheduled to sail
from Vancouver August 2 at
. 9 p. m.
. Dupere scheduled to sail from
Seattle August g.
. North Coast scheduled to sail
. from Seattle August 4, 8 p.
m.
o Tyee scheduled to sail from Sc
. attic August q at 9 p. m.
. Columbia scheduled to sail
from Seattle August at 9
a. m
Northland scheduled to
sail from Seattle August 5,
Q 10 a. m.
9 Prince George scheduled to sail
from Vancouver August Z at
8 p. m.
Yukon scheduled to sail from
Seattle August at 8 a. m.
SOUTHBOUND SAILiNGS
. Princess Charlotte scheduled to
arrive at $50 O'Clock tomor-
row morning and sails south
Q at a. m.
. Mount Mckinley southbound
next Friday.
LOCAL SAILINGS
. Estebeth scheduled to sell every
. Wednesday al q pm for SIT
ka and wayports.
. Dart leaves every Wednesday
at am for Petersburg. Port
Alexander, Xake and way
ports
q
The Daily Alaska empire. [volume] (Juneau, Alaska) 1926-1964, 1939-07-31
News |. O. Answers

I. Suspended 125 feet in the air
at the New Works. Worlds Fair.
Cables attached to their parachute
device had damned.
2. Japan.
g.. Yugoslavia, Hungary, and Bull
paria.
4. To the Antarctic TO claim land
for the u. S.
S. Strikes by WPA workers be-
cause they were told to work more
hours for the same pay.
The Daily Alaska empire. [volume] (Juneau, Alaska) 1926-1964, 1939-07-31
GOES TO WRANGELL

N. A. McEachran, SchWabacher
Brothers representative, left for
Wrangell on the Columbia.
The Daily Alaska empire. [volume] (Juneau, Alaska) 1926-1964, 1939-07-31
PAA PLANE TUESDAY

A PAA plane VIII leave tomorrow
from Juneau for Fairbanks on the
regular Tuesday schedule.
The Daily Alaska empire. [volume] (Juneau, Alaska) 1926-1964, 1939-07-31
II KAEIBUTER5
Sell, SEATTLE

SEATTLE, July 81 Halibuters
selling here today are as follows:
From the western banks-Liberty,
10000 pounds, 9 and TX cents a
pound.
From the local banks-Orbit, 49,
600 pounds, Hoover. 1900 pounds,
Merit, $4,000 pounds, Ethel S, 49,
600 pounds, Swift II, $4,000 pounds,
all selling for 9lA and cents; Vik-
ing, 1900 pounds, Selma J, 5000
pounds, both at 9i2 and cents;
Sylvia. 1900 pounds, Mariner, 49,
600 pounds, 81 and IL cents; Argo,
1900 pounds. 9ls and 7ls cents.
The Daily Alaska empire. [volume] (Juneau, Alaska) 1926-1964, 1939-07-31
WHO SHE IS

GUITAR STUNNING, lul-
~ laby voiced Tamara has
been prominent on Broadway
since, several years ago, she was
showed from the chorus of THE
New Workers into the spotlight
to entertain an opening night
audience while sweating stage
hands repaired collapsed seem
cry. A Russian emigrant at the
age of II, Tamara spent much of
her youth grooming Old World
songs for New World
friends. She is married to Ed
Swami, advertising executive.
She prefers straight dramatic
acting to movies or singing. In
spite of her plant about intro
ducing a seasons song, Tamara
(she has another name but
won't tell it, hasn't done so bad
ly. She sang 81 Can Dream,
Can't r." in Right This Way;
still is singing Get Out of
Town" in the current Leave 1t
To Me-"
The Daily Alaska empire. [volume] (Juneau, Alaska) 1926-1964, 1939-07-31

"If you want to try for stage
success the hard way, just in
troduce the seasons popular
song.
Smoke Gets In Your Eyes
has been haunting me for five
years-since l introduced it in
'Roberta'-and | should know.
1t typed me.
"When that musical was
over, | went to Hollywood. l
wanted to act. If | had to sing,
| wanted to sing ballads or folk
songsTthe kind you might do
in light operetta. But NO. l had
to wait for another Smoke
Gets In Your Eyes and of
course there wasn't any other.
Il came back to Broadway.
wanted to act. But producers
almost invariably said: 'Oh yes.
You did "Smoke Gets In Your
Eyes" If l had song like that,
Id put you under contract right
away. I'd build whole musical
around it - and around you.
But I'm casting melodrama.'
,ther night, | was introduced on
Re Gets In Your Eyes What do
forever on the singing of one
lad, smoke gets in my eyesi"
Lett. AP Feature Service Writer
The Daily Alaska empire. [volume] (Juneau, Alaska) 1926-1964, 1939-07-31
TIDES TOMORROW

The Book ALASKA, Revised and
Enlarged, Now On Sale; Sl.0o.
Imperial Valley press., 1939-12-25
Business Services

LESS WORK, white clothes when
u wash 'em at Rays Laundry,
428 Imperial Ave. Phone 1895.
Imperial Valley press., 1939-12-25
Cards OF Thanks

WE WISH TO THANK our many
friends for their kindness in our
recent loss of our husband and
father:
Mrs. Lillian Mayiield
Mrs. Joe LaFrankie
Mrs. Walter White
Woodrow Mayfield
Preston Mayfield.
Imperial Valley press., 1939-12-25
Lost. Found, EstrGg

BROWN Upper key case. Return
to Chamber of Commerce. Reward.
1927
Imperial Valley press., 1939-12-25
REICH VICTORY ONLY
PEACE HOPE, HITLER SAYS

BERLIN Dec. %. (UP)-Ger-
many celebrated Christmas today,
told by radio that there can oe no
peace on earth until the Reich Is
victorious in the present war, and
with its leader, Adolf Hitler, be-
lieved with his troops on the west
ern front
Hitler was in a machine gun
pill box yesterday distributing gifts
to soldiers but his subsequent
whereabouts were not diVulged.
Imperial Valley press., 1939-12-25
Used Or8

81 UscG Cars
SAVE -
IT WILL PAY YOU to visit our
store. # it's augo OF truck parts
you need see Us. 1000 cars and
trucks in stock. All sizes in used
tires.
CARTER MOTOR & SUPPLY
1868 Main Phone 63
Imperial Valley press., 1939-12-25

Caught Angeles fouyearold death is
Dazey He Dr. George Dazey who
his wife,
1888 Mrs w Schwuchow, mother woman first
Dazey the physicians and suggests
Dazey parents of his deceased
because they eged sought custody OF the
with doctors present wife Mrs Dorcas Dazey
Imperial Valley press., 1939-12-25
Unusabies Into Usabe Cash For Sale Ad Now!
BrawIey Youth
Arrested, Released

A l6-year-old BraWley boy was
arrested but released Tor Christmas
after his arrest with loaded guns
near inland.
Deputy Sheriff pete Klyne said
he found the boy with a loaded rifle
and that the lad cooked and aimed
a pistol at him before giving up
the second weapon.
Questioning showed the boys ia
ther had died recently He was re-
leased after relatives were notified.
Imperial Valley press., 1939-12-25

MORE RAIN COMING. Get that
roof fixed. S. L. Hartzell g. Son
Take the guesswork out of roof
ing. Phone 25l-W, FL Centro.
Imperial Valley press., 1939-12-25

PICKED up one stray eve. 1885
West Main. 1928
Imperial Valley press., 1939-12-25

For unexpected and sure-fire re-
suits, turn to Post Press Ciassifieds.
Imperial Valley press., 1939-12-25

WE HAVE A FEW repossesSed cara
priced right. Peoples Finance &
Thrift Co., 633 Main. Phone SIS
or 525
Imperial Valley press., 1939-12-25
instruction
Ii Apartments For Rent

FOR RENT-Well furnished mod
ern flat. Electrically equipped.
Inquire 500 Olive. 1890
Imperial Valley press., 1939-12-25
HOuxes T0r keHt

3 BEDROOM completely furnished
house in Imperial. Electrically
equipped. See Mrs. Edgar, Ais So.
F. st. Tear) Imperial or Phi. I'm
perial 3l9l. 1925
Evening star., 1939-08-03
Dorothy Dix Says
First Romances Not Likely
To Last Throughout Life

DEAR MISS DIX am II years
old, in love with a boy of 20. I
have thought I was in love before,
but I have never felt anything like
this. I am almost in a trance all
the time and it is only when. we
have a quarrel that suddenly come
down to earth and then 1 feel that
can't stand it. Just to test ourselves
we quit going together for a while,
but we found we just couldn't en-
dure 1t. Isn't it possible to love at
IT? Is it any disgrace to marry the
first man who asks you if you love
him? If this isn't love, what is it.?
LADY IN LOVE.
Answer: Nv diagnosis is that what
you are experiencing is loves young
dream and it is about the most
beautiful thing that will ever hap
pen to you. So enjoy it while you
may, but don't take 1T too seriously.
You see you are at an age when
one still believes in fairy tales and
The world is filled with futtering
wings and trailing clouds Of glory.
Probably never again will you see
any human being who looks so en-
chanting to you as this first sweet
heart OF yours. Never again will
your heart f1utter so wildly at the
sound OF a footstep. Never again
will you go around in such a senti-
mental trance that you virtually
don't know where you are "at," and
feel that you cannot live through the