Evening star., 1939-05-24
From the
Press Box
Every Win Dean HurIs
Is Arm Doctors Loss
BY JOHN LARDNER,
Star Staff CORRESPONDENT,

Star staff Correspondent.
NEW YORK, May "a (N.AN.A0-
II he wins another couple of ball
games and goes the route while do
ing so, Dizzy Dean probably will
be deprived of his bodyguard, con-
sisting of three osteopaths, one herb
wizard and pair of skull doctors,
or psychiatrists.
The rumor is that Diz has not
buttoned his own shirt since his arm
showed up dead at the beginning of
last year. His owner, Mr.. P. K.
Wrigley, promptly surrounded him
with experts. When Jerome went
on the road, he carried the gang
with him. one osteopath running
interference and one pSychiatrist
protecting the rear. Seven lower
berths took care of the party and
the party took care of Diz.
Riding the rails between Chicago
and points East and West, the boys
tackled the great Dean problem with
all they had. While one specialist
bombarded Freud with cablegrams,
the other fired bulletins at Jung
and Adler. A complete box score
was sent to Bellevue every night.
Dizzy's Right Elbow
Tested for Sound.
Meanwhile, the osteopaths took
turns tapping Dizzy on the arm
with mallets, gavels, rubber hose
nni rNl1o5-nr,
Does that hurt?" said the first
scientist, cutting off Diz's hand at
the wrist.
"ouch!" said Mr.. Dean. Yes, it
does"
MY mistake, apologized the os-
teopath. That's the left arm"
So saying, he grabbed a saw and
sawed couple of inches into Dizzy's
right elbow, testing for sound.
Meanwhile the second bone -twister
tied Jerome's neck into five stand
ard knots, explaining that he needed
only six to win his merit badge. The
herb wizard put the kettle on the
fire and threw in a pound of goose
grease, rattlesnake's tooth, a four
leaf clover and the blood of guilty
chipmunk, lassoed on the south side
of hill in the light of the moon.
After mixing we'll and adding a cup
OF flour, he rubbed Dizzy's wing with
this sinister concoction while the
quarterback broke Deans leg in
three places to test the reaction of
the lumbar canal.
Broin Department Loses
Shirts at Bridge.
On an ordinary day, the brain de-
partment would have it's instructions
from Freud by pm. Strapping Diz
to his berth, the boys would give him
the old association test, as follows:
O. White?
A. Black.
@. Red?
A. Cincinnati.
@. Base hit?
A. Lucky bum.
@. Ball?
A. 1t was right in there.
@. Strike?
A. Three.
@. Left?
A. Right.
@. Right?
A. Right.
@. Right2
A. Right.
@. o. K.
After that, they tell me, Diz would
take the shirts off the experts at
bridge and the psychiatrists would
cable Freud to rush IS cash.
Might Be Another Arm
Found in Loke Erie.
Dean always insisted that there
was nothing wrong with him except
his right arm, and he seemed to
have more faith in the herb man
than any one else I don't know
whether it was this venerable wiz
ard who finally produced the goods,
or whether the brain specialists dis
covered quirk Diz never combed
his hair very thoroughly, or wheth-
er the osteopathic division sawed
on his arm at the shoulder and
replaced 1t with one they. found
floating on Lake Erie.
At any rate, Jerome had his stuff
the other day when he shut out the
Boston Bees with three hits. And
the chances are it was the Bees who
cured him. Schoolboy Rowe, Carl
Hubbell, Johnny Allen and Wesley
Ferrell have applied for permission
to pitch against the Boston club as
soon as possible, in turn, but the
demand probably is more than Casey
Stenpe1 ron handle