The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1939-03-30
"NOONANISMS"
(From the Baudette RegiOnj

Talking of winter, over in Ontario,
Evelyn Frost was injured by an auto
driven by Jack Blizzard.
A man will take day off sometimes
on his birthday and get the dickens for
it, while woman will take a year off
on hers and get away with it.
Times must be picking up. Checks
don't do as much bouncing as they did
six months ago.
There are three ministers in the state
Legislature. We hope they pray for the
taxpayers.
Don't howl with indignation if state
taxes are higher than CRATES head
ache for another year. 1t will take
Governor StaSSen at least two years to
clean up that mess in st. Paul.
An Illinois youth, who became 81 last
week, is eight feet, eight inches from his
bunions to his dandruff. Nature was
generous when she designed that lad.
The girls have no trouble in selecting
hat these days. Anything is hat
this year.
Don't kick if your car has to gulp
four-cent tax along with the gas for
another two years. 1t IS the only way
that counties can get much money for
their roads.
A lad in town the other day called
himself blind man. He repairs win
dow shades.
A boy of seven has had fourteen OPP
erations and still knows how to smile.
Many babies can make men look like
terrible babies.
The compliments exchanged by legiS-
lators on the civil service bill were any
thing but civil.
A mean feature of small town life
is that many otherwise nice folks
make a lot out of almost nothing
Maybe they do in cities too, but it isn't
so noticeable.
You can travel to both Worlds Fairs
this year for $95 if you have sos.
A Hollywood actress has eloped with a
press agent. Gone with the wind
TANNER, you might say.
The legislature this year appears to
be making real effort to put poultice
on expenses, something the taxpayers
have been asking for long time.
| Don't scoot too fast with that car of
yours. You might bump into an under
taker.
We know local husband who plans
trip to recuperate from what is going
to happen.
Recent events indicate that conditions
in the state oil department were far
| from oilright.
Pictures of the dresses the ladies are
to wear next summer give you the idea
that they were designed by a lady who
had just seen a mouse.
Many members of the legislature are
yelling economy and at the same time
they want big appropriations for their
own districts. You can't dovetail those
two pieces of timber
A writer says that Mussolini has de-
lusionS of grandeur. Yes, and a touch
of hydrophobia.
President Roosevelt has a number of
able advisors, and Secretary Ickes
wouldn't decrease the number if he were
to resign.
When you get the shakes go to bed.
1t may save you from having yourself
discontinued
WIFI The cOlQ weather That has been
on the menu lately, the average citizen
IS in favor of taking three days off
July and lacking them to February.
In filling out your income tax blank,
remember what happened to Ananias.
1t IS pretty certain that all of the
radical lads on the Minnesota payroll
will be aimed for the exit by Governor
Stassen. If there is anything that he
d1slikes more than Communist is
flock of them.
Some of the dry counties of the state
want to do away with three point two
beer parlors, but it won't do any good.
You can exile beer parlors but you can't
cancel thirStS.
What piece of news, news of peace
Is to residents of Spain.
With so many forms of taxes due. the
average citizen has great many uses
for money.