Evening star., 1939-02-20
Your Patient
Repetition
Helpful
Careful Direction
1mpresses Child
After a While
BY ANGELO PATRI.

please tell me what / can do to
get my boy of to do what he knows
he ought to do without my telling
him continually. It's pick up your
ball, close the door after YOU, wash
your hands, don't shout. stand sill,
say please, eat with your mouth
closed, and on and on. endlessly.
Why doesn't he remember just once?
What can I do to keep from having
| to tell him again and again as
though each time were news to
him?"
I know of no way save the way
you are doing. Say it again, today,
| tomorrow. and as many days after
ward as need be. 1t takes a deal of
telling to make habit. If you
counted up all the things a child
did in a day you would find that
the one thing, or the few things,
you reminded him to do were in
consequential in proportion to them.
He is in Whirl of action in which
no one act stands out. You have
to accent one act, the one way of
doing, repeatedly, until by and by
it wears trace in his memory.
The child is not wishing to forget.
He is not thinking about it at all
What you want him to do is an
adults wish, and has no relation to
anything he knows about. He lives
in child's world, a very different
place from ours. and our strange
ways do not affect him save when
he gets into conflict with U.S. Then
he does what we say, not in the spirit
OF cooperation. or even obedience,
but in response to our demand. The
time for reasoned response and
obedience comes later, after repeated
experience.
There is no way of teaching
child save by telling. demonstration,
practice, and repeating You say,
pick up your ball. He does so. You
will tell him that again, soon, and he
will obey directions. One day he
will pick up his ball of his own &C
cord and then you will know that he
has passed milestone on his way
to self-adjustment. Sometimes you
can shorten the learning time by
making practice pleasant. Many
ways of doing this will come to your
mind, and many more will come as
you work with these. But there are
no short cuts to child training, and
no miracles.
Don't try to have him perfect in
all ways at once. Children do not
grow that way. They grow under
cover, anyway, and one cannot tell
what progress is being made until
it shows itself in behavior. You can
tell a child many times to hold his
spoon certain way, and you can
fell very discouraged about it, and
then, one day, you see him eating
perfectly from that spoon. He had
been learning inside, all the time.
That often happens.
Sometimes mother works hard
teaching her children table manners.
She says the same thing many
times. day after day, and the next
day there is the same need for re-
minders. One day the most careless
OF them goes to visit and stays to
lunch or dinner. Il was charmed
by Benjie's table manners. How ever
did you get him to behave so per-
fectly at the table? He is a model
for the neighborhood," says his
hostess. You hope it is so.
1t is so. No teaching that is stead
lily directed to the improvement of
a childs character or manners can
be lost. The growth takes place un-
seen and in time it comes to the
surface. Just keep telling him,
teaching him, steadily, without a
letup, without a loss of good will,
faith and patience. He will surely
learn what you teach.
Mr.. Patri has prepared a Ieaflet
entitled "Self-Measuring Chart"
which teaches a child how to ex-
anime himself and check up on
his behavior. Send for it, ad-
dressing your request to Mr..
Angelo Patri, Child Psychology
Department of this paper. Inclose
. self addressed stamped (3-cent)
snve1opA