The Waterbury Democrat. [volume] (Waterbury, Conn.) 1917-1946, 1939-12-21

the readers Of this column are
treated 10 o masterpiece. ne.
Cause once o year, Clarence Bud
ington Kelland does my column:
Bud rs Americas greatest host,
When YOU cross the threshold Of
DIG home there 10 no such thing
% care.
(signed)
Henry McLenore.
(By Clarence Burlington KeIlandI
Phoenix, Ariz,, December II. -
Cup - Now that the season Is
here when sports writer's 20 baimy
% Q trumpet and pick All-Amerioa1
football teams, AllsAmerican flops,
AhsAinerican crap shooters, horse
shoe pitchers and goat-getters, I
would like 70 pick, with digcrimina-
ton and expert knowledge, On All.
American team OF guests,
I have unusual facilities for f,IMy.
ing this form Of athlete because my
place Is q sort Of cross between O
fioil.paying dude ranch, O non
paying parking space and O nom
paying cafeteria with meals at all
holirs. love guests. ! am gre
gariotig.
Guest De Luxe
For captain, quarterback and sig
nal caller ] unhegitatingly put the
finger upon Henry McLemore, tim
Grant proprietor OF this column. JIe
10 IN his senior year as q guest. lie
~ especially good at picking un-
handy times 70 arrive. Unerrlngly
he puts IN his appearance when
every bed Is full OF other guests that
] have actually invited. This never
detefs him, He tucks his suitcase
under his arm, scoots 90 yards
through O broken field and makes O
touchdown In the bedroom 1earcst
70 the dining room and the liquor
ctoeet He rs going 10 turn profeS!
SIGNAL next year, but even with sea-
sonIng cannot hope TO excel his
record as m amateur guest.
A. fullback I select drantland
Rice. His technique differs from
MeLenoFe's IN that he always teie-
graphs the date OF his arrival. He
wires he will come TueFday, where
upon you meet early morning trains
every day until Friday.
Az left half ! pick Frank Craven,
who slowed UP the performance OF
the play "0ur Town" until IL ran TOR
two years. Mr.. Craven does not
como -he ooges In. But " IL very
difficult 70 persuade him 70 oVze
out again.
Az right half my choice falls
upon John KieFaD, tho sage OF "fn-
formation, Please, who knows the
anfWeF 70 every question except,
when ore you going homer"
Az left end have selected Jimmy
Gagney, tho dove OF peace OF Hol.
jyWood, Mr.. cagney does not mad.
den YOU by getting UP too early N
tho morning nor by oYereating or
asking for temporary loans as do
gof1e OF the previous selections. But
he does settingstip exercises on the
front lawn neatly dressed IN the
lover half OF O suit OF abbreviated
underwear,
singers, Tee!
Az right end goes Edward Mac
NaMara. onestime thrush but now
occupying tho legitimate stage ~
New York. lie comes upon invita-
ton but departs only after q court
order. II Il q quaint little Decu.
liaFity OF his that no eats only five
tmss q day,
Without question the position u
center goes 10 Guy Kibbee. lie do!es
on his friends and wishes them 70
have ~ many OF the good things In
life ~ no obtains himself II II
can DO done with no expenditure Of
either trouble or money, Therefore,
he HsVeF arrives alone 10 DO my
guest but always with o phaianx. ne
does not soy 10 long NJ time, but.
he comes terribly, terribly often.
II viii DO noted that ! Rave picked
neither guards nor tackioE This ID
not Oh oversight. II IA becadbe,
with the center and backheld here.
IN disclosed, no other players are
necessary. This team, inalded, can