The Waterbury Democrat., 1939-08-10

"No," was the retort, I'm al- lergic to boloney." Add sillies They'd have you believe 1t hap pened on the Normandie. A chap went to the ships huge swimming pool and found another fellow div ing for all he was worth.
 Looking for something2" he asked.
 "Yes," said the other, I'm diving for pearls"
 Just as the first gent decided that the other was nutZ, the diver added: My wife lost them here last night"
 Newspaperman Stuff
 Add Picturesque Reporting: From the N. Y. Mirrors sports pages, when Max Butcher, the Pittsburgh pitcher, was bested to 1 by the Brooklyn Dodgers: "The lambs slaughtered the Butcher at Pitts burgh today ."
 This came from the column titled Frankly Speaking" in Vilnis,' Chicago daily for Lithuanians: "Tumbleweeds of the city--old news papers flying their careless, restless way around corners" The N. Y. Posts headline over the story of the persecuted Czech Jewess, who killed herself after throwing her two chilren out of the window, rather than return to Prague: "The Axis Wins Another Victory!"
 Edward Doherty's colorful re- porting in the Mirror when des- perate gangster paid the State with his life on the gallows: Richard Reese Whittemore, rough man with a gun, tough man with the women, died like gentleman" Was His Face SalmOn!!!
 "Shipwreck" Kelly, the sportsman hunter, is in Hollywood and his chum, Dan Topping, called him on the long distance from here. After talking about 20 minutes Dan said: "Hey, we'd better hang up-it's cost ing lotta money"
 "Oh, don't be so tight!" said Kelly.
 After another ten minutes Dan cracked: Don't you think we've talked enough? It's costing plenty!"
 "Why should I care?" taunted Shipwreck. "You called mel"
 T know" said Topping, but I'm phoning from your house" Form of Criticism
 In the Tavern last night, some of the newspaper boys were dis cussing how dull things are. and how difficult it is to turn ir good copy. One columnist began gabbing about his own daily grind
 q dunno" he said, what all this fuss is about. I can write my column with my eyes shut"
 "Yeah," said a squelcher, "ano that's how most people read it!" The Retort Proper
 Some of us were banning ont of the Canyons shadier phonies q hear" informed one knocker "that he even beats his mother" Nonsense" said another, "he' very good to his mother. He doesn' I tell anybody that's who she isl" Natchelly!
 A current quip, borrowed iron DeMaupassant, is making tn rounds. About the little boy am girl, 4 years old. They were bein shown the art at the m'i"o''r1 an' paused before Adam and Eve. ! (Which one is Adam?" asked tn Z little boy. :. "How can tell?" replied tn little girl They've got thei clothes off"
 The Devil You Say!
 At the Queen Mary rendezvou last night. a traveller told the on ' about Hitler, who upon retirin one night, was startled out c bed by a movement in the room Sitting upright, the perspirin Fuehrer screamed: "Who is that? No answer came back from tn darkness. Getting out of bet he took a tiny step forward an hysterically screamed again: "Wh are you? What do you want?"
 This time the intruder cam forward in the circle of the lamp light, and Hitler was relieved { see it was the crimson-cloake Mephistopheles.
 "Ah," sighed Hitler, as he san
 into an easy chair, "and all th
 time I feared it was one of m
 bodyguards."