The guardian. [volume] (Boston, Mass.) 1901-1960, 1939-07-01

~ nous, kitchen bully.
Gu0nE Kitchen ully :?
S0ONH Exactly.
@z~A1 Imagine a man
0HOKB who, once a week,
regularly, showed
his wife how to cook coffee-who
scanned the household hints as avid
ly as woman running a boarding
house, who officiated at the prepara-
ton of the Sunday dinner, and who
did all this with the bland assur-
ance that he was assisting his hard
working partner.
The whole difficulty in effecting
a cure was that he was so pleas
ant about it, and actually thought
that 'Phelia was benefiting immeas-
urably by his aid.
Things couldn't go on like this for
ever, so 'Phelia did what a million
of her predecessors have done in
trouble, and what the te -rful young
wives of the generations to come
will do-she wrote to her mother
and explained everything. That
was week ago.
'Phelia poured George his steam
ing cup of morning coffee. George
pulled his eyes away from the
knockdown in the fifth round long
enough to doctor it with cream
and sugar to suit his very particu-
lar taste. He brought it slowly and
carefully to his lips, tasted it crit
ically, looked out of the window,
set the cup down and delivered the
verdict.
Coffee isn't quite up to scratch
this morning, dear. I'll bet you for
got the egg again, didn't your"
'Phelia turned away half smiling.
There was d sudden movement in
the kitchen, and George turned
around to see 'Phelia's mother
standing in the doorway.
why, good morning." he finally
said, II didn't think you'd be up
and around this early" His mother
in-law frowned, and pointed at the
coffee.
George, what's the matter with
the coffee? I've been making coffee
for 40 years, for my father, my
grandfather, my husband and my
sons, and this is the first time that
my coffee has ever been criticized"
She went over and carefully
slipped the coffee.
Il can't understand it. It's just
as good as it always is. Is your
coffee all right, 'Phelia?"
'Phelia nodded. Zine, Mother"
George just then discovered that
the Battling Barbarian had re-
gained his feet and had rushed his
opponent to the ropes.
George was rather mild and meek
at the supper table, under the watch
full eyes of his mother-in-law.
On Saturday he invaded the kitch-
en- again. 'Phelia's mother looked
coldly up from a lump of pie dough
she was hneading. 'Phelia was en-
crossed with a pile of apples.
'Phelia's mother was painfully
blunt.
Sorry, George, we're terribly
busy, and can't be bothered with a
man poking around where he
shouldn't be. The magazine has
just come. Why don't you read that
until we get lunch?"
Sunday breakfast ran off as
smoothly as soft wind on June
day. Biscuits were golden brown.
The coffee was a heavenly brew.
The griddle cakes would have
tempted Diana from the chase. And
so George said.
'Phelia went out with her mother
at 10. Her mother delivered the
farewell address.
" 'Phelia's been telling me how
you delight to mess around the
kitchen getting Sunday dinner. 'Phe-
las promised to show me the new
park, so go to it. Well be back in
plenty of time for the feast"
George, having no other course,
manfully went to it.
'Phelia and her mother were evil
IDENTIFY hungry after the walk, so
with very little talk they sat down to
the feast that George had labored
hours to prepare.
George" 'Phelia's mother fixed
George with an accusing look after
she had tasted the roast-"what on
earth have you done with this roast?
It's got no more taste than a pillow
slip. And the potatoes-I thought
'Phelia said you were a cook.
cts lucky that these cranberries
are red, or I'd think they were APP
ricots that you had tried to broil."
She tasted lightly of the rest of
Georges handiwork, then got up.
"As cook, George, you're fine
mortar MIXER" she said scathingly.
'Phelia pushed away her plate,
untouched. She turned to her moth
er. Mother, what do you say if
we 60 out to eat? I'm hungry"
George was obdurate, and so they
left him cheerfully. He walked
through into the dining room. No
one there. But at the front door
someone was just going out. He
heard Ophelia's mother talking.
well, 'Phelia, he's been treated
Pretty badly, but l think you'll find
~.