Evening star., 1939-06-01
Shielding an
Child
Mistake
He Should Mingle
With Playmates
OfHis Own Age
BY ANGELO PATRI.

A troubled mother asks: Must
an only child grow up selfish and
spoiled? We have only one child
We will never have any more. We
feel that one is about all we can
take care of because money is so
scarce, but if being an only child
is going to spoil this one we will
make any sacrifice and adopt one
to keep him company. Is it neces-
sary? We are very poor these days.
And we would have to adopt a
strange child"
1t is not necessary to adopt a
child to train an only child to be
a decent, worthy citizen, son or
daughter. 1t is just as easy to teach
an only child to consider other
folks rights and feelings as it is
20 teach a family. You see, in
reality there is no such thing as
an only child. The world is full
of children. so full of them, indeed,
that it is not possible for this single
child of family to avoid meeting
these others. Wherever he goes he
must meet them. must adjust him.
self to them and their ways That
is where he gets his real training
from other children.
The mistake that mothers of only
children make is in keeping their
treasure strictly to themselves. One
mother will not allow her child to
go off the porch without her. He
might meet some boys who had bad
manners. or who used bad words.
That would never do for her boy.
But her son is going to meet those
boys pretty soon, and mother won't
be there to shield him. Unless he
learns to take care of himself in
the early years he will surely suffer
when he faces these experiences
later. Little children learn to live
in a children's world early, if they
are allowed, and they become i'm
mune to experiences then which, if
delayed, must take effect on them
later.
1 mean that if boy who has
been shielded from contacts with
other children goes to school at the
age of 6, without knowledge of boys
ways, he will suffer from his ignor-
ance and his feeling of helplessness.
Words and ways that to other boys
his age are commonplace and taken
at that value assume alarming pro-
portions in his mind and become
very annoying expressions Either
I, mill olopf oil ~,
words and ways. or he will shrink
in terror from them; but either way,
he is in a bad fix
The safeguard against the ills of
singleness is getting into the group
and sharing whatever comes in the
way of experience. The earlier the
better. Children usually live in
groups of equal social achievement.
The standards of living are about
the same for all in the neighborhood.
Let this only child mingle with the
others from the beginning and teach
him to hold his own and give his
best to his companions.
Talking about sharing. about sell
fishness, good manners, playing nice
ly. and the hundred other virtues
of childhood isn't much good until
that talking is made into expert
ences by contcat with other chill
dren. Then the words take on life.
Hitting Johnny with a shovel brings
Johnny down upon ones own head
with his shovel, and that little
incident teaches something about
playing nicely that all the words in
the dictionary could never do.
Children learn from other chill
dren more, and in richer values,
than they learn from us. The only
child is in no danger as long as he
has plenty of healthy playmates.