The Key West citizen. [volume] (Key West, Fla.) 1879-current, 1939-07-28
Chapter Il
Horace And Morris

~THE next thing Luella was 60
4 ing to do was tour the l1ospit-
ais 70 find out If anybody had been
brought in with a broken neck,
continued Jumbo. "She decided
against this because, she said, the
people in the hospitals would think
she was nuts. Figure it out for your
self, Van. Suppose YOU rushed into
q hospital and said: Anybody with
q broken neck been brought in
here tonight?' Well, the first thing
the hospital people would say is:
sWho7 What name?' And Luella
didn't even know my name at the
time. And she doped it that, in a
place like New York, people with
broken necks are being carried
into hospitals every minute. It
would have been like looking for
needle in a haystack. So she
finally decided to sit tight and see
II there was anything in the pa
pers about it the next morning.
@Of course, there wasn't. | did
the prettiest back-dive of modern
times and il didn't even make the
news. Well, after that Lucia
couldn't do anything except wait
and hope. And then called one
day. You can imagine how pleased
she was to find out that she wasn't
q murderess. And in her enthusi-
astic way-I forgot to tell you that
she's very enthusiastic-she asked
me right over"
"And you fell for each other?"
said Van. isn't that just ducky?"
well, yes" said Jumbo. "In a
manner Of speaking. When | saw
her In broad daylight, surrounded
by all those feminine little touches
girls put in their apartments. it
dawned on me suddenly that she
was knockout. knew was sunk.
So rose to the occasion and took
her out to tea"
Hal She drinks tea, eh?"
'Tt was hot" said Jumbo. "We
had gin fixes. Luella says that al
cohol taken in minute quantities
at the proper times has caloric
value"
well, what happened next"
sOh, we've had few dates. And
the other day preached the sub
ject of his party of ours with a
view to signing her up for the big
night"
That went over okay, ! sup
poser"
Jumbo reflected. well, it did
and it didn't. Luella is not a girl
10 mince around about anything.
II there's something on her mind,
she comes right out with it. So she
said to me: Cutler she said-she
calls me Cutler, you see. She's di-
rect. No nonsense. Well. Cutler
she said you've asked me to 60 to
an affair with you. But I've been
doing a lot of thinking lately CUT
Ter. What I'm getting at is this:
When / first became interested in
physical culture. / promised myself
that / would never have anything
70 do with men whose physiques
are either over or under-devel-
oped. The natural relief at not hav-
ing your blood on my hands
caused me to break this rule sew
eral times. Now, however, ! shall
have to re-establish it. | like you,
Cutler. / might even say I'm fond
81 you. But there's one thing that
T can't overlook Cutler, you're
too fat. You're the kind of man
who mows down the populace with
INSTITUTIONS every time he fills
his lungs. And, considering the ma
t1re Of my work, to consort with a
person who looks like a blowfish
would be the height of hypocrisy
So-it's distinctly up to you. Con-
quer your obesity, Cutler. and /
might follow you not only to this
secret party, but even unto the
ends of the earth. Who knows?'
4 Renounce'
'TIyELL, here thought I'd been
w sitting pretty and all the time,
Il seems, Luelia had had reserva-
tons. It was sumner, tell you,
But ] want you to see how ! met
TIE situation. West ! said-I be-
lieve in matching directness--1
can well understand that what
with your profession and my nat
ural upholstery, you lind yourseli
on the horns of a dilemma. But
think nothing Of it. With my cus-
tomary vision ! can see the way
out.
Beginning now. ] renounce
food. renounce all beverages Of
q sustaining nature. ! renolnce
taxicabs, bridge-tables, elevators
deep sofas-in a word, any and al
confrivances which invite one "a
lead a sedentary existence. And, in
q big way, / 60 in for exercise
And I added, If | don't get off al
least ten pounds before the ap-
pointed night, am not Mrs. Cut.
Ier's favorite son. IT, ] said, I fail
TO do this, you can tell me to Ga
Jump in the lake. On the other
hand, II I'm successful you'll be
honor- hound to accompany me t.
one Of the seasons better parties,
What do you think of that, Van?'
81 always said you weren't sc
dumb" said Van. did Luella tai
for itfH
ssWeIl. she seemed to think 1t /
fair sporting proposition. At frs
she was inclined TO haggle q BIZ
about the ten pounds. Tried e
hold out for fifteen. But ] stood
hrm. Come, West / said to her
sbe reasonable. For twenty-five
years I've been sort Of q land.
locked sea-lion. And now you wanl
ne 20 be able to slide through the
eve Of an needle almost overnight
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