The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1939-07-04
Good Taste
Today
BY EMILY POST
Emphasis Il on Tact


an experience similar to the one
you wrote about in your column.
that Of where the groom wanted
his bride 10 write thank-you note
To his boss for gift that had been
given to him personally and mad
not included her at all. Ny hus-
band received a check--a very big
one-from his mother. shortly
after we were married. This VAS
addressed to him alone with a note
explaining that she was sharing
this extra money with all three
sons. Naturally he vas jubiiant
and sat down and wrote her
glowing note of thanks. IL never
occurred TO me to write until he
asked II I didn't think IL would be
nice thing TO do. so OF course.
I was glad to write her a note
telling her how generous and well
come the check had been. She
has written since then that | was
the only daughter-in-law who
wrote about the check. Can the
other daughters-in-law be blamed
for not taking for granted that
they had a share IN the presents?
think my mother-in-law Is Judg-
ing them unfairly.
Answer: As l understand the
situation I think your mother-in-
law In wrong in having expected
her sons wives to nave written
letters of thanks for presents given
to their husbands. They would
have been just as likely, had they
all written. to have made her think
that they were assuming a right to
a share in the checks, and TO have
made her resent this. Or she
might have been embarrassed al
not specifically included them
(which she was perfectly right not
to have done). II Is too bad that
your evidently taetful letter
caused a family storm by making
her feel that the others ought TO
have done the same thing, Any
way, let us hope 1t has blown over
by now.
To What Extent Courtesy:
Dear Mrs. Post: When guests in
our house lose money to us at
card games should we take this
money! Doesn't the fact that we
are hosts make il seem inhos-
pi,able for us to consider their card
debts Seriously
Answer. II you always play Tor
money you must continue to play
for 1t; If you don't you don't. l
mean, II you object to taking
money In your own house then the
answer Is. fill the tables without
counting yourselves when those
who are expected, always play Tor
money. Yous can't ask them TO
carry you, nor in any way ask them
To change their customary habits.
Questions About Tipping
Dear Mrs. Post: (a1 There Is
question In my mind about ,his'
When arrangements arc made at a
large hotel for an after-tne-
theater supper party. what is the
usual gratuity for the head waiter
Is ii given to him at the time ar
rangements are made, or on the
night of the party? And is ten
percent enough for the waiter
tb) Also. when one stays a week
at a resort hotel is il good policy
to tin the head waiter and when!
Answer: la) You give the nead
waiter ten percent OF the whoie
h,l, and ask him to divide 1t. This
amount is usually plenty when you
are having a party and the bill Is
therefore of considerable size. Id
II might be better poliey-espe-
cially II you have never stayed IN
the hotel-to give him modetate
tin when YOU arrive and II he Is
especially efficient in looking AFTER
YOU. to give him an additional up
when you leave. If he pays no
further attention TO you he GER
tainly should not expect any more
what shall the bridegroom
wear, What does the brides fam
ily pay for. All the importah.
little questions about the correct
procedure are answered in Emily
Posts new booklet. The Etiquette
of Weddings Send for II. enclos-
inc ten cents. Address Emily Post,
CO this newspaper. p. o. Box $50,
Times Square Station, New York,
n. Y.