The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1939-01-05

The only tune about the Mississippi
valley which will be sung from now
on, will be an Old English Folk Dance,
and the singers will be performing
just where you suppose when / remind
you that the words begin:
Here we go, Lobby, Lobby, Lobby,
Here we go. Lobby. Lobby. Light"
The second benefit the valley would
reap from the government quitting
haywire and switching to electric wire,
is that the farmer could heave a big
sigh of farm relief. Maybe we will
discover that it takes an electric iron
to iron out the farmers troubles in
this region, anyhow. Can you feel that
there is anything revolving in the idea ?
Ouch. Stop that, you're hurting me !!
However that may be, this new pro-
ject will certainly get the tightening
rod statesmen at their wits end, that is,
if they haven't come to the end of
their wits long before this, 1 mean, IL
they ever had any. While the farmers
wanted to keep electricity out of their
houses, lightning rods were hot. And
now that they want it in their houses,
lightning rods are as cold as last
years asparagus and about as useful.
But what fun the boys who sell coffee
pots with hitching ropes to 'em, milk
ing machines with cold water mixer
attachments, dating machines for hens
to punch, and so forth, are going to
have!
OF winters night the boys at the
grocery store down to the center will
be sitting not around the old stove,
but around the electric pad. We hope
the statesmen put across a few electric
washing machines with the wives be-
fore the boys get their socks on that
steam generator.
Better take along a few permanent
wave machines In the sample cases,
boys, you might run into an ostrich
feather farm.
And how about some electric fans?
The valley will soon be so sophisti-
Gated they'll probably start few night
clubs with fan dancers, and naturally
they will use electric fans, since the
power will be so cheap. The other
kind of fan dance requires power, too.
but it's net the kind everybody can
furnish.
Oh WELL never mind Even the young
folks discuss these things nowadays,
| and Live Wires don't always shock
one. Also, a lot of the farmers I've
met know what it's all about to the
point where it would take more than
Sally Rand to fill them with rural
electrifcation.
l suppose when the IVA and the
other big rural errors, or eras, or
aereas, or whatever one should call
the layout, are completed, a lot of the
old charm of the backwoods will be
gone. Every housewife will have an
electric stove instead of a backache
from hauling up coal for the old type
cooker. The old oaken bucket will
have kicked itself and an electric
pump will have taken the vacant job.
With no trouble about hauling water,
every night may be Saturday in the
sweet bye and bye. Considerably
sweeter if you ask me, which you'd
probably better not, on account of it's
a rather delicate subject.
But when the horse has turned to
| horsepower, the old farm won't be the
same. suppose it's okay to put the
rescue in picturesque, but when the
hay goes hey hey all can say is, it'll
take an electrically woven straw hat
to show which way the wind is blow
ing.
Cheap power is a swell idea. But
the cheap use Of power is a mighty
dangerous thing. I'll hold my breath
while you figure that one out After
all guess we can only hope for the
best, no matter watt happens.
The real question about the whole
project down there is, will the farmers
have any farms left by the time the
job is finished? And will their club
song be Sweet Land of Liberty" or
"Old Man Ribber"?
| @ Nina Wilcox Putnam.-wNU Service.