Evening star., 1939-07-20

because my mother thinks I am too
young to go out with fellows.
1--WE tried to talk to my mother,
but she just doesn't understand that
a girl my age likes going out with
boys more than going out with girls
all the time. can have the girls
to my house, or go out with them
whenever I want to, as my mother
then thinks she knows where I am,
and with whom. So I've been meet
ing this boy, and letting her think
I'm with the girls.
do you think my parents are cor
rect in saying I'm too young to go
out with fellows? I hate this whole
situation, but, after all, most girls
my age do go out with boys. What
can I do about it?"
FRANCES H.
We want to take off our hats to
you, Frances, for your attitude in
this situation. We wouldn't have
blamed you much if you had been
bitter and rebellious. That's how
many girls faced with a similar
problem would have reacted.
But, instead, you are sincerely dis
tressed because you have been de-
ceiving your parents. You indulge
in no harsh criticism of your
mother. You even refrain from
pointing out that if you're old
enough to earn your own living,
you're old enough to date.
Apparently you are a thoughtful
and reasonable person, earnestly
anxious to find the right solution to
your problem. And because of this
attitude on your part, we think you
can find solution.
Parental Attitudes
Are Difficult.
Some parents have very rigid ideas
about the age at which their daugh-
ters should date. These ideas may
spring from strict religious beliefs
or from backgrounds with standards
which differ widely from those of
present-day America. When 50
caused, we are bound to respect
these attitudes, even when we see
clearly that they defeat their own
ends, as they have done in your
case.
We can't approve OF your meeting
this boy secretly, any more than you
approve of it yourself. On the other
hand. we certainly can't sympathize
with a parental attitude which de-
nies an 18-year-old girl the use of
her own home to entertain the boys
she knows, thus impelling her to the
undignifled and dangerous device OF
having stolen furtive dates.
In many cases you could solve g
problem such as this through calm
reasonable discussion with your par.
ents. But you say that this method
has failed. You therefore are goine
to be forced to enlist outside help
perhaps from some of the girls ir
your crowd who are allowed to have
dates, or even from their parents.
Among your friends are undoubt-
edly one or two girls whom your
parents like and respect. With the
help OF these girls, approach your
mother with the idea of giving a
party in your home for a mixed
group of fellows and girls. Try to
show her that such parties are a
universally accepted and approved
way for crowd of boys and girls
to have wholesome fun together.
If your parents once meet boys in
your home at party-including this
boy you are dating-it would not be
so difficult for you, a little later, tc
have a double date in your home
1t would merely be smaller party
And from that it will be short step
to having boy come to see you
along. and then to take you to a
movie.
This may seem like a complicated
and roundabout way of attacking
your problem. But to be perfectly
frank, you have on your hands the
job of re-educating your parents, if