The Waterbury Democrat., 1939-08-22

COo nEEOhIEh
 It happened the other night in one of Holywood's night spots A chap phoned to say he was bring ing party of eight. He gave the headwaiter elaborate instructions, such as not to serve his guests the ordinary helping of caviar but 8 double portion and to let the cham pagne flow freely In an hour they all arrived-decked out in for mai apparel As they were seat ed, the host of the party summoned the headwaiter and told him to be sure and let him know when the bill neared $200 At about 10:30 the headWaiter came over and whispered that the tariff had now come to $175 The host then clapped his hands and shouted: "Stop!" .. His entire party abruptly stopped din- ing, got up and went to the floor to dance They danced until 3 a. m. The host then took a check for $200 from his jeans and handed it to the headwaiter |. "This check is for $200," said the host, cit contains your $25 tip" He then instructed the headwaiter to bring over the proprietor :. To whom the party-t -thrower said: T just gave your headwaiter a check for $200-it contains his $25 tip. It's the bouncing check you gave me two years ago!"
 At the Dust Be My Destiny" previeW out there, an autographiend almost ripped off Ann Sheridan's gown. Her escort grabbed the guy and started to give him a lecture on good manners Everything you're saying" sassed the intruder, "goes in one ear and out the other!" :. whats the matter" squelched Ann's escort, haven't you anything there to stop it'
 Elsa Maxwell, now in Cannes, France, was boasting how well she Enows the great portrait painter, Augustus John "Yes," said Ttorothy Parker, "she knows him So Iell-she calls him Augustus Jack"
 A wealthy man there admres Elsa . He offered her his villa "For how long?" asked Elsa "As long as you wish," he s7.d gallantly Elsa turned to t.-sr friends and yelled: i've got a house for life!"
 After the Information Please" program the other night Clarence Duddingtcn Kelland was talking about his friend Tom Webster, the brJliant British cartoonist MT. Webster, on a visit to America, stayed at high-priced Park avenue hotel At the end of the week he received what he considered an outrageous bill He called the manager "There must be some mistake!" groaned Webster The manager locked over the bill and said I'm veddy soddy, but the ad- ei;tion appears to be totaled cor- itctly"
 Its not an error in your addi- tion.' thundered Webster, "but an error in your calculation. I really have more money than that!"
 Laurence Stallings, who co-auth- cred What Price Glory?" and other shows. had opened a new one at Hartford Earl Carroll was an admirer who sent him telegram, c clown wire, which read Better Luck Next Time The humor of it wasn't appreciated by the author because he realized he had a flop . A few months later when Car roll was the victim of prohibition and was sent to the. Federal prison at Atalnta, Stallings wondered if Carols sense of humor was still working He sent Carroll a telegram-to be delivered just as the cell door clicked on him. It read Better Luck Next TiIne.''
 If tragedy lies in Europe's history, happiness lies in Americas geogra- play. For Europe today awaits the shift which will start the years of slaughter, and only 5000 geographi- gal miles West, America debates with almost as much heat, on which day it will celebrate Thanksgiving. Today European youth leans on its bayonet and wonders if it will fight one day sooner. American youth, on its playing fields. wonders if the