Evening star., 1939-09-09
Oklahoma Nebraska Missouri Are Deemed Main Threats Big Football
From the
PRESS Box
Net Meet SubtIetles
Expounded by Expert
BY JOHN LARDNER,
Special Correspondent Of The Star.

BY JOHN LARDNER,
Special Correspondent Of The Star.
FOREST HILLS, N. Y, Sept. 8
N.A.NA).-The national tennis
singles tournament is young vet.
and, before the players reach what
we call the "semifinals" and finals"
I will try to explain in few words
what we experts mean by a national
singles tournament.
In the first place, every tennis
player worth his salt is represented,
either in person or by counsel Riggs
is there, Parker is there, Wood is
there. Tilden, Vines. Bulge and
Perry are elsewhere. Little Bill
Johnston is in California, living in
retirement, but still getting in a
practice set now and then. I don't
know where Charley R,oss Ia.
1t makes no difference about Ross,
because he wasn't seeded In this
A player can hardly
hold his head up II hes not seeded.
He can hardly hold it up If he is.
The average tournament players
head weighs 4 pounds, or twice the
normal amount.
Odd Practice Of Seeding
Invented by Rickord
The practice of seeding dates a
long way back. 1 remember an in
terviewer coming up to me once and
asking:
How far does seeding date back,
Mr.. Lardner?"
Il don't know I replied, laugh
ing. and l never spoke truer word.
However, there is school of
thought which holds that the system
was invented by Tex Rickard, the
late fight promoter. Somebody once
asked him what he thought of the
Dempsey-Carpentier fight.
Il never seed anything like it."
replied Tex.
The tennis authorities would do
we'll to follow Richards example.
Unfortunately, they have seeded the
very dickens out of the national
singles tournament, with the result
that customers fight for seats at the
ball game in nearby Brooklyn.
Seeding is performed roughly as
follows. Each players name, cor
rectly punctuated, is written on a
slip OF paper and the slips are placed
in the middle of neutral table
While the committee goes out for a
quick one
Light SoutherIy Wind.
Helps Committee
A light southerlv wind, blowing
nobody good. comes up and divides
the slips into two piles so that Quist,
Bromwich. Parker and Cooke are
in one half and Riggs and a couple
Of Guys named Pete are in the other.
The committee members return,
congratulate each other once around
and shift one of the guys named
Pete into the other bracket. Then
the man at the gate sells a ticket,
and play begins.
Each important match has II
judges calling the shots, each Judge
carefully planted along a line so
that he can't miss seeing it right
The word of a judge is law, unless
one Of the players disagrees WITH
him.
If the player disagrees. he makes
a face such as mother used to spank
you for, and the crowd supports him
Loyalty by whistling in chorus. Then
the rival player rises to heights of
craftsmanship and throws away the
next point so subtly that nobody in
the county can fail to understand
what he's doing This gesture.
equivalent to calling the Judge q
heel and blind bum, sends the GAL
lery hysterical with admiration, and
the applause lasts five minutes.
while the referee shakes his head
and says 'Tsk! tsk!"
Then the referee calls for new
balls, and play resumes.
Fons at National Meet
Broken Spirited Lot
The tennis fans are a broken
spirited lot Aside from applauding
outbreaks of sportsmanship." such
as the kind mentioned above, they
are firmly under the referees
knuckle. He tells them when to
clap and when to abstain. At a
ball game or a fight, where the
crowd appreciates and values its
own Importance tno crowd, no con-
test, some one would step forward
and stuff towel down this referees
throat, and business would proceed
as usual. However, the tennis fans
have been trampled and tyrannized
too long to show resistance.
Instead of giving them what they
deserve for their money-open ten
mis-, with the best players in the
world, pro and amateur. in mixed
competition-the authorities con-
tinue to foist of two-bit, no-star
national amateur tournaments
upon their bovine clients at So and
So a look.
Opposed though I am to action in
most forms, I wish that the fans
would invoke their sacred rights and
slap a firm embargo upon the Forest
Hills follies. That's the way to get
what they deserve. No crowd, no
contest.
Tennis was invented in France In
the 18th century, and pretty soon
King Francis I was playing the
game on the second bounce. He
would reach the semifinals
of the present tournament.
ia o{ non,neo,, E:I,n