The guardian. [volume] (Boston, Mass.) 1901-1960, 1939-02-18
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By BEATRICE SMALL

.
This col is for etc-pick up italic .
Dear Friend: You have given so
many kindly and sympathetic answers
TO various people, | wonder if you can
help me in my problem.
have been married seven years and
have a beautiful boy three years old.
My husband and I have always got
along well up to about six months ago
when his behaviour radically changed.
had been i'll for about six months
prior to his change of attitude, but
was well on the road to recovery and
am in perfect health.
All of sudden my husband devel-
oped the habit of staying around the
house until after the morning mail
delivery and then leaving for his Job.
he has good position and receives
an excellent salary. At first I paid
no attention to this but later it began
to puzzle me as after each time, he
brought the mail in, he developed
pressing engagements which kept him
IN town until late in the evening.
Three weeks ago while gathering some
old clothes to send to The Salvation
Army came across a half dozen let
tiers written in the same hand and
signed by one initial. They were very
endearlng and enclosed plans for dates.
Since then | have been watching and
two letters have come by afternoon
mails in the same hand. One night
While out walking l stepped into a
drugstore to make few purchases
and saw my husband in the back of the
store talking to a girl Later l saw
her on the street and asked a friend
with whom l was talking who she was.
The girls name tailed with the mi
tlals and | also learned that she is a
girl OF bad repute and has the wreck
age of several homes to her credit.
All of this has upset me terribly.
cannot go to my family because thew
never approved the marriage and
would only give me ''I told you so".
Now | am asking you should I thrash
this thing out with my husband, or
should l just pack up and quit because
his general attitude is abusive and
surly as well as his habit of frequent
absence from home?
have a profession and could easilv
make my own living as my old lob
would be open anytime want it back.
so the means of living would not him
der me. Please advice me, I am really
at my wits end.
Sincerely,
Marion.
Dear Marion: Before l can advise
anything, there is one question YOU
must ask yourself, namely: 'Do l still
love my husband and wish to continue
my marriage life with him?" You
forgot to say, so I can only suggest
two courses open to you under exist
ing circumstances. If the answer is
no, then you have nothing to build on
or the desire to forgive him on finding
out from him why this affair ever
started. Your profession with a lob
to earn your own way is the logical
solution.
But if you still love your husband
you have a delicate job on your hand.
First of all, you will have to let him
know that you are aware of the other
woman, her letters and his late dates.
What I am trying to discover is what
happened in your relationship with
your husband for the past seven years
that made him susceptible to this other
woman within the past six months.
Have you been fair in regard to asking
yourself, is there anything I have done
or said that could have precipitated
this situation? Whatever caused your
husband to stray may be laid at your
door, so check up and start all over
again. Of course, on bringing up the
subject to your husband, for heavens
sake, don't take the injured wife" or
"after all I am your wife attitude"
Make him understand that all you
want to know is why and in what way
you are to blame. The truth ought to
come out using those tactics. Since
you found out that she is a person of
bad repute, the comparison between
her and what he knows you to be,
should be in your favor. The rest is
up to you. Would appreciate hearing
from you as to what you decided to
do.