Evening star., 1938-04-10
NOTABLES PR|CKED.
BYGR|D|RONB BARBS.
Skit Shows Business Sick
on Rail of Zigzagging
Ship of State.
Continued From First Page }

Continued From First Page)
in the opening musical extravaganza
by brilliantly costumed throng rep
resenting world-famous figures cata-
logued as exhibits in Grover Whalen's
1889 New York Worlds Fair. Lustily
they sang:
Roll along crazy world. roll along!
Upside down, dizzy planet, all gone
wrong!
While the music of the spheres
Thunders. crashes in our ears.
And the world joins the chorus of the
song
There's confusion that runs from
pole to pole.
For the maps changing daily as we
roll
They are loony oversee.
But no loonier than We
Roll along, crazy world. roll along"
Mussolini and Hitler were there, and
the Duke of Windsor. the Sultan of
Muskrat and Omaha, the Emperor of
Manchukuo, the Emperor of Abyssinia,
Otto of Austria, Gen. Franco, Goering,
Kaiser Wilhelm and many Others
This noisy multitude was in con-
lowed. In cafe in Vienna, as the
soft strains of waltz music sifted in
through the lattice, young man and
his lady love sat whispering to one
another. He called for champagne and
sang her love song. Together they
drank toast to Austria Hardly had
he concluded listing the charms of
their native country with the praise
that 1t was political when
squad of Nazi storm troopers burst
upon the peaceful scene and separated
the pair.
George Holmes Elected.
Hell, Hitler!" resounded through
the ballroom.
Called upon to explain himself, the
leader Of the troops revealed that he
was chairman of the Nominating Com
rnittee Of this Gridiron Club He an
nounced the election of George r.
Holmes. chief of the Washington Bu-
reau, International News Service, as
president of the Gridiron Club for
1888. Turning toward Mr. Holmes at
the head table, he wished the new
president successful administrator
Confidently. and with smile in the
direction of President Roosevelt next
to him, the new Gridiron Club chief
executive replied his administration
was bound to succeed because I
planned it that way"
The more than 400 guests were
transported quickly from storm tossed
Vienna back to the United States to
discover the complexities of Secretary
OF Agriculture Wallace's new farm
control bill.
The stage was taken over by an in
ouiring reporter who sought to learn
how the act is working in Georgia and
Minnesota from Samuel George
washington Jones, Negro, and Ole
Oleson. Swedish farmer. He asked
the Negro about the cotton referen-
dunn.
Battleship SimiIe.
Sam seemed to like the new set-up
fine because it was the first time in his
life "dey evah let me vote" 1t all was
worked out on the Democratic process,
as advocated by Secretary Wallace. he
said. as "dere amt single Repub-
lican on de County Committee"
Ole explained that they were going
to have referenda in Minnesota. too,
voting this year on corn, next year on
wheat and in 1910, ay tank We gonna
vote for Henry Wallace" Asked if he
thought the Government should nav
farmers not to grow crops, Ole re-
piled:
by yimminy We are paying some fell
lers to build battleships not to fight
with, ent ve?"
The reporter voiced suspicious of the
two farmers and, yanking off their
wigs, he disclosed they were not far
mers at all, but the two newly elected
members of the Gridiron Club.
Russell Virgins of the st. Paul Pioneer
Press and Thomas L. Stokes of the
scrlpps-HoWard newspapers.
The two placid and contented
farmers" were succeeded op the stage
by two gentlemen who seemed nervous
and distraught. They paced back and
1orth. The audience was told that in
these days of political self-seeking. it
Is pleasure to present an example of
pure, self-sacriflcing patriotism" It
turned out that the two gentlemen
were Senator Sherman Minton and
Gov. M. Clifford Townsend of Indiana
They were waiting for High Commits
sloner Paul McNutt of the Philippines
VINO already was late on his mission
70 report to President Roosevelt.
The Sixty Families.
But he was flying, it developed from
the conversation. The reason for his
delay was revealed by a courier who
dashed madly in to report that the
High Commissioner had reached San
Francisco but had stopped to make a
speech. Gov. Townsend allowed It
wouldn't do Paul any harm to make
speeches.
Moo" said Senator Minton. "194O
isn't very far away"
They were interrupted by the courier
wiz ASpoi ecd GIldt GI1e Hlgn COmm1S.
uoner had stopped to make speeches
IN Reno, Denver Kansas City. Indi-
annapolis and points East But, finally,
with clatter, the awaited official ar
rived. breathless, and tall, tan and
terrific" as Senator Minton said.
Addressing the President, he shouted:
I report to you, sir, there's a war
In China
Yes, Paul, and had you heard that
Dewey had sunk the Spanish fleet at
Manila?" was the response from the
head table
The course Of empire again moved
to the far corners Of the world, to the
South Sea islands of Canton and En-
derbury, recently claimed by Presi-
dent Roosevelt, and for which he al
ready has found use. There he has
exiled the go families said by Ferdi-
nand Lundberg to be the real rulers
Of the United States. Thev were shou,n