Henderson daily dispatch. (Henderson, N.C.) 1914-1995, 1938-04-29

1nlS money CnllQ am d CIlllu WIldL dIIl,
His Ma she took and cut home ham
And brought to Nose for to cook with
rice
Or scrambled eggs and other things
nice.
That ham was good as ham could be,
AS good as peaches on the tree;
AS good as honey in the hive,
AS good as-well, land sakes, alive!
All IN between my teeth it got,
It CREASED the bottom of the pot,
And creased the frying pan as we'll,
All bout that ham 1 cannot tell.
Now Jimmit is a real smart boy,
He is his Mothers pride and joy;
He is his Daddy's sugar pie,
Who surely hates to see him cry.
His Grandma thinks he is a prince
Fit for to be king, and thence =
Great-Great-Aunt Lula says he's the
stuff;
1 think this speech is long enough.
Some of these days you are liable
to see me coming into town with my
hat on backwards, my scalp upside
down, my coat wrong-side-out, my
shirt almost torn off, two black eyes,
blood running out of my ears, one of
my eyebrows gone, two fingers. miss
ing, my arm in a sling, limping on
both feet minus one ear, and in
general state of almost readiness for
the ambulance, the hospital, the I'M
dertaker, and the cemetery. All on
account of lady telling me today, eff
you sell my husband that paper again,
1 AM GOING TO BEAT YOU UP"
And inside of the very same thirty
minutes, another lady said, Moses,
miss your writing in the paper you
used to work for. Here's the last
cent I've got. 1 want to try your new
paper a while" So that made my poor
heart so glad, it started right off
beating again, as it had about stop
ped after what the first lady said.
I tell you the above two truths just
to let you know the agent for a news
paper does not live on flowery beds
of case; and that his being tired at
night does not necessitate him lying
down to pleasant dreams.
Mr.. and Mrs. w. c. Gwaltney of
Union Level, Va, were back over to
Miss Marys old home town today.
Miss Mary was looking real well, and
SOS her old man. Which reminds
me of the time I was a young man
in the Womanless Wedding here some
years ago. Miss Mary loaned me a
costume wig to wear. Your Tom
Rose, of Henderson, was one of the
stars of the occasion. I think he was
a brides maid and surely made a
stunning young lady. Haven't seen
Tom in ages, but when a man gets up
into Big Business, it usually keeps
him busy.
town today and all of his two hun
dred and fifty pounds. Said he had
lost about ten pounds and he surely
was looking puny. His waist-line
has been reduced to fifty inches.
When he lived in town some years
ago and weighed a little heavy, he
sent his shirts to the laundry. One
day slip of paper was hidden in his
package saying, Extra charges for
laundering Tents He promised me a
sub next time he comes to town.
Hope to see you Saturday, Cap'n John.
Little Miss Charlotte Pickett came
in to town and her daddy got her
pair of new shoes for birthday pre-
sent, as today is her birthday. She
is five years old. Charlotte says she
is coming to Uncle Nose to spend the
night when it gets summer time.
f. E. (Elvis) Evans, of near Frank
linton, says he has lived at the same
place so long that it seems like home
to him. He has only been there
twenty-eight years. But "ninety-nine
years is a mighty long time"
Miss Eta Davis, of Cedarhurst L..
l., is visiting her parents, Sheriff and
Mrs. E. p. Davis, across the street
from us. Their granddaughter little
Miss Helen Tatsey, is also there,
whose home is at the same city. Bet
their grandson, Skipper" Mcmillan,
from Raleigh will be over soon for
while.
G. L. Sherman said he would "risk
anything once" when he gave me his
sub. One Of his brothers is named
Willie and ono ,,o,,oo1 Hory,oon CO If