Evening star., 1938-03-19
EAR MISS DIX: All dur

friends. My life has never
- been a dull one despite the
fact that have been in poor circum-
stances. l never expected anything
from my trends but friendship, but
they gave me that and often helped
me in other ways. I recently mar
ried girl who belongs to a family
that does not believe in friendship.
Their argument is that you can't get
anything from friends: that they all
look out for themselves and your
only friend is your pocketbook. They
are cold to people and rarely does any
one come to their house. My wife
takes their point of view, doesn't want
to 60 anywhere or see anyone. Her
family has instilled in her a feeling
Of suspicion that everything you say
to people or they ask you is for the
purpose of finding out your business
and talking about it. I try to con-
vince her that people don't have
friends just to get what they can out
of them, but to no avail. Am wrong
in objecting? F. K. G.
Answer-I agree with you that life
without friends is cinders, ashes and
dust, and that those who cut them
selves of from all warm, intimate
affections and companionship with
their fellow creatures make as great
a mistake as they would if in rich
and verdant land they chose to dwell
alone on some barren and rocky peak.
You are right in thinking that
friendship is not graft 1t is a gift
1t is something sweet and fragrant
and beautiful that enriches existence.
1t is bestowed upon us not for our
worth, not for any price that We can
pay for it, but because some heart is
drawn to us, some soul sees within
us something that finds a responsive
echo in his own soul Nothing has
ever bettered the definition of friend
ship given by the little boy who said
that a frit nd was person who knew
all about You and liked you still.
X X
WHEN friendship becomes a mat
ter Of barter and trade, when
a man uses another mans friendship
to borrow money from him or to ask
favors of him, or woman cultivates
another woman just because she can
open social gates to her, it is not
friendship. 1t is racket. Real
friendship is the something intangible
that binds people together. and it is
composed OF everything except the
profit motive.
1t is made up of congeniality, of
liking to do the same things. of en-
tertaining and amusing each other,
OF loyalty. of an affection that makes
them share each others joys and sor-
rows and of an intimacy that makes
them able to confide in each other,
sure that what they tell will go no
further.
None of us can live to ourselves
without being miserable. We must
have somebody to talk to, with whom
We do not have to be on our guard
and watch our speech; somebody with
whom we do not have always to be
at topnotch; somebody who is in
terested in our new hat and car and
what little Johnny said; somebody
who will be as pleased as we are
when Tom makes the football team
and Mary becomes engaged; somebody
who will come to us in our dark night
Of despair and let us weep out our
hearts on their brerasts; somebody
who will be watching outside the
hospital door when we are sick and
who will weep for us If we die.
And we must have somebody to play
with. We can't do that alone. There
Is no flavor to feast If eaten by
ourselves, no fun in a party if we
are the only one there Nine-tenths
Of the pleasure that we ever have
comes through our friends. So to
deliberately cut friendship out of our
lives Is to declare voluntary bank
ruptcy in happiness.
No young married couple could make
greater mistake than to shut friend
ship out of their lives. They should
call it in and give it warm seat at
their firesides, because friends will do
more than any other one thing to
keep them from getting tired of each
other and to bring gayety and cheer
into their homes. And although. one
does not have friends for what one
can get out Of them. they are among
the most valuable assets we can pos
sess because people will do things fol
us because they like US that they
would not do for us because 1t waa
our due