Evening star., 1938-07-15
Obedience by
Emotional
Appeal Bad
AChild Soon Learns
To Disregard Pleas
Based on Tears.
By ANGELO PATRI.
"RABY, don't do that"
II want TO-"

By ANGELO PATRI.
BAsY' don't do that"
II want TO-"
Don't do that. Mother will cry"
The baby, two and . half years old.
kept on beating the pan with the
spoon and mother covered her face
with her hands and cried loudly. The
little ones hammering slowed down,
his eyes grew big and troubled. His
lip trembled and he broke into loud
crying, drowning out the sound of
his mothers mimic anguish.
The hammering had stopped, but
the weeping that took its place was
scarcely more desirable. The mother
had used her child's affection for her
to gain obedience, and the price was
q strain on the little ones emotions.
That is about as bad q way to gain
cooperation as can be found In q
days march. ..
A child's emotions should not be
stirred uselessly. That puts a strain
on its nerves and in time, If the prac-
tice is continued will make the child
emotionally unstable. Mental health
is threatened by such methods Of
discipline. The cure Is worse than
the disease. Apart from that, the
mother risks her child's affection. II
he learns. as he must under such a
scheme, that his mothers tears are
theatrical devices used to force him
to meet her wishes, he will soon
laugh at them, take them as part of
the game and do what he can to in
duce his mother to play. That sets
the stage for trouble.
Mothers who cry or put on . scene
to force their children to their will
may succeed in gaining outward COM
pliance. The price the children pay
is very high. They cannot feel free
to DO what they would like to do be-
cause there IS the constant threat Of
q mothers tears, a mothers heart
attack. or temper tantrum. These
children are prisoners in the fullest
sense OF the word. Their one desire
Is to escape. They may be held by
q sense OF duty, of fear, but it is their
body that is held, not their minds, not
their spirits. And that is an empty
Offering, as such mothers learn to
their grief.
A mothers sorrow over the wrong
doing Of her child is one Of the
greatest forces for well-doing In a
child's life. Il couldn't do that be-
cause It would be wrong, and II 1 did
such . wrong it would hurt nv
mother is the true expression of
the right relationship between mother
and child. TO sham this relationship
Is to kill it, and with 1t, the strongest
hold a mother has on her child's
behavior.
Never make an emotional appeal Of
that sort to child. It cheapens the
one who makes the appeal and weak.
ems the one to whom it is made.
Don't. make your love q prize to be
purchased by obedience to your will.
Give It freely in season and out. In
good behavior and bad. Let the child
know that 1t is unfailing and that
mothers tears, If they must be shed.
Will be shed In private, in the bitter.
ness Of her lonely heart. Lonely be-
cause the child Of its love has injured
himself. not her, and left her desso-
late. Mother-and-child relationship
Is too precious to risk.
Mr.. Patri will give personal atten-
tton to inquiries from parents and
school teachers on the care and de-
veiopment Of children. Write him in
care Of this paper, enclosing = three
cent stamped, sef-addressed envelope
for reply.
tCopyright, 1881