Evening star., 1938-10-15
Praise Child
For Effort
He Made
Parents Standard
Of Perfection Is
Unattainable.
BY ANGELO PATRI.

To hear some grown up people talk
ing to or about children. one would
think they were perfect. 100 per cent
angels in whom there is no flaw, no
earthly failing. Yet each of them, If
accused, would at once deny any such
feeling. "Of course, he's not perfect.
Nobody is. Still, and all, can't he do
what is right"
If he knew what is right, and if he
had the ability to do it, he would need
no hint, much less an order. to compel
him to do it. Children, and all other
human beings, want to do right, long
to succeed, yearn to win praise and
applause When they fail they suffer,
and it is the pain of failure that drives
them to do strange and awful things
at times Any grown person under
stands this. And yet this grown
person will hold up to a struggling
child the lofty standard of unattain-
able perfection and make him feel
himself a failure because he has not
reached 1t.
Pride and affection cause this sort
of mistake. The grown one wants
the growing one to get the best
possible out of life Knowing that
success is the utmost happiness a
human being can achieve he will
push the child to perfect success in
all he undertakes
Success like that is seldom achieved.
The most we can expect is noble
effort and a partial success. That is
about the best the best man can
achieve Knowing that, and knowing
the pain that sense of failure inflects
upon child. why not allow him his
partial success, won after great effort?
Why not accept it and say. We'll
done?
A girl was found weeping in the
darkest corner of the cloakroom
She had only 95 in Latin, and her
father would be angry because it
was not a 100. Father never studied
Latin in his life A boy ran away
at term end because he was not on
the honor roll. The lowest rating
for the honor roll was 80 and he had
SO and $40 All this boys brothers
had been honor students; he could
not face them as failure!
Another girl-this one high school
senior-wanted to go to party and
knew that if she asked permission
it would be refused with disapprobation
that would echo in the family for days,
so she went without permission and
told a few lies about it. Her father
and mother gravely considered send
ing her to a convent. Had she been
boy they would have sent her
to military school in disgrace. They
we're dissuaded from that course by
the head of the school, who told
them that such an action would spread
a report of evil out of all proportion
tc the truth.
These parents loved their children
They wanted nightly to have them
shine in work and play and reputation.
They held them to standard of per-
fection impossible to reach, and when
that fact was proved by the failure
OF the children, they blamed the
children.
A high standard is right. 1t is
right to teach children to try for
perfection. What Is wrong about the
whole matter is our blind determine
ton to set our dream standard of per-
fection as a goal for a child's efforts
and to make any degree of failure
to attain that standard a major offense
against ourselves. 1t would be well
for us all to remember that we are
imperfect people dealing with imper-
feet people. A child is successful
when he does the best he knows how.
Praise him for that and he will know
more for the next effort.
Copyright. 193s)