The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1938-06-30

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You never see the groom's picture
in the papers but there must be such
person.
| A Stenographer in st. Paul sued q
millionaire for breach of promise, anC
the case was settled. She probably got
enough green bandages to heal hel
aching heart.
Out west deaf and dumb man is a
candidate His speeches must be a
pleasure to listen to.
There were more than 10000 acct
dents at grade crossings last year
demonstrating that freight train can't
jump sideways like a pedestrian.
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In making dandelion wine there is
one safe test. Invite the neighbors to
try it first.
The merry month of June is here
when many 110-pound bride will put
the stop" and ego" signs on the habits
of 185-pound groom.
This is the age of electricity" says
writer He's right. Folks want every
thing charged.
The size of the Army is being in
creased, and the mosquito brigade is
also drilling.
A writer says that pedestrians should
take steps to protect themselves. The
only steps they can take are fast ones
If you must drink, don't drive. 1t is
dangerous to be at the wheel of a
auto with six or seven drinks boiling
under your vest.
In another week or so million
tourists will be gasolining over the
scenery in Minnesota, and be sure to
greet them with smiles. Don't give
them the idea that you were brought
up on sour milk.
An Iowa editor, after returning from
Grow Lake wrote a piece for his
paper about a 37-pound trout he
caught. And editors never lie. Well
hardly ever, anyway.
A writer says that the boredom on
the farm has made many farmers rusty
Maybe the reason for their being rusty
is that there is so much due on their
| farms.
Many a lad is content to stay on
relief until he gets job that he isn't
looking for.
A man is suing for damages because
he was tossed out of tavern known
as the Wayside Inn. Evidently he
didn't like being kicked out of the inn.
If the rain doesn't quit soon they'll
be describing this section as where the
wet begins.
A citizen wants to bet us $50 that
Louis will flatten Schmelling, proving
that some citizens are daffy enough to
think that an editor has $50.
We read in daily where man
caught a great northern pike weighing
twenty-one pounds, four and three
quarters ounces. 1t won't he long be-
fore the fish liars will be carrying
out their lies to the sixth decimal point
before you look. You might dive into
rock.
This is the month when many a
a young man will promise to love, honor
and stick around.
| It is difficult to look nonchalant
when a mosquito stabs you in a spot
that you can't scratch in public.
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A slick husband is one who convinces
his wife that she looks terrible in those
new hats.
Reckless drivers who main and kill
people are getting reservations in the
big house with the steel boudoirs al
Saltwater 1t is the only recipe.
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The only way to coax business into
your store is to advertise. Folks are
shopper-arounders.
Four prisoners escaped from q
western prison last week. They just
wanted little outing.
Again this summer trains are win
ming all the contests at grade crossings
IF brevity is the soul of wit, we al
should be laughing our heads off under
the Roosevelt regime. We are all short
Picnics would be nicer if the ankle
stabbing skeeters didn't think they were
Invited guests.
A western man has tried suicide Sil
times, but without success. Maybe hi
should come to Minnesota, go to Gov.
ernor Bensons Office and give three
cheers for Hjalmar Petersen.
Miner Advertisers Are the LEADERS
In the Ely business field. Look ovel
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