Evening star., 1938-07-11
From The
Press Box
Impressive Entouroge Trolls
Dizzy in Quest for $3.50, 900.
BY JOHN LARDNER,

Special Correspondent of The Star.
NEW YORK, July 11.-Jerome H
Dean looks more like a posse than q
pitcher as he moves about these days
in pursuit of life, liberty. happiness
and $250,000. The complete Dean
carries the following equipment:
Three 90 bonesetters or osteopaths
Two (2 psychoanalysts.
One CD attorney.
One % fourth for bridge, making
two tables.
The bonesetters are the envy of the
whole medical profession because they
revel in and out of Dizzys subdeltoid
muscle all day, and Dizzys subdeltoid
muscle is one of the finest in history
AS pretty as picture" one critic
describes it.
Il recommend it heartily" says an
other.
Bring the kiddies." says a third.
Several Mind Tests Used.
The psychoanalysts are there to
study the state of Dizzy's mind. As
you know, there are several ways of
doing this. Under one system, Dir
sits with his legs crossed and the
scientist taps his knee with ruler
crowbar. bludgeon or similar blum;
instrument. If the leg jerks forward
1t means that Dizzy's troubles are
over. He can sign with the Green
Bay Packers as place-kicker and
leave his right arm at home.
Another method is what the boys
call word association" The expert
sings out word. and Dizzy calls back
the first word that occurs to him.
Thus:
Chair"
Table"
BLACK"
white"
Three spades"
-Four diamonds "
Pass"
by me"
Double"
"Redouble.
This worked fine until one of the
doctors said "Rickey" The obvious
answer is gin" but Dizzy said law
suit" and lawyer promptly Joined
the party. Now Diz is planning to sue
the Cardinal ball club for s250,000
unless Judge Lands persuades him to
cut it down to s247.500.
out Of the loot" says Jerome. II
will pay Mr.. Wrglev the s1S5, 900
which he paid to the St Louis club for
me-"
This makes Mr. Dean a Robin Hood
with reverse English. He clips the
poor to give to the rich.
No Surprise to Wrigley.
The pitcher argues that the Cardinal
management worked him all the harm
permitted by the law and a good deal
over by forcing him to pitch when his
arm was in bad condition last year.
When he came to the Cubs. says Dr.
he was mo good at ALL" This news
flash will not exactly bowl Mr..
Wrigley over.
Dizzy's lawsuit is subject to the
approval of Judge Lands, and the
fact is that the judge will not sane
tlon it. The worst he will do is tell
Branch Hickey to tear up that check
for sl85,000. Have you ever asked
mother tiger to eat one of her cubs
for breakfast? That is somewhat the
same as asking Mr.. Hickey to tear up
a check for sls5,O0o.
We will leave Judge Lands to
Wrestle with the problem. If Mr..
Hickey does agree to kick back the
plunder, he will probably have to dig
100 feet into Missouri soil to get it.
No one ever accused the scholarly
Cardinal executive of burying his
funds too close to the surface.
Goes Mungo Better.
Dean. as started out to say, carries
the biggest personal cabinet in the
business. Up till now. the record was
held by Van Lingle Mungo, who took
his own manager with him to the ALL
star game in Washington last year
This was Mr. Babe Hamburger Of
Brooklyn. who also served Van as
valet. trainer and announcer. If Mr..
Hamburger could have gone out there
and pitched for Mungo as we'll he
would have made William Terry very
happy.
When last heard from. Mr.. Dean
was thinking of adding tenor singer
to his staff.
Two OF my physicians sing a very
fair baritone and bass" says Dizzy
with tenor in there. we will kick
the stpffing out Of Love Me and the
World Is Mine"
Copyright. 1888. b. the North American
Newspaper Alliance. Inc)