Evening star., 1938-04-10

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istration votes to buy a ticket back
and said he'd try to hitch-hike. Sen
ator Smith of South Carolina. ad.
dressed as you old feudalist," allowed
as he would try to ride back on the
cotton subsidy part of the way and
white supremacy the rest"
Pick Up Your Marbles.
Trying to comfort his colleagues,
Senator Guffey read a newspaper an
nouncement that President Roosevelt
was not going to show any preference
in the primaries With a burst OF
hollow laughter the Senator's rushed
for their trains.
They were followed on the stage by
a Tennessee mountaineer woman and
lot Of gangling mountain boys. As
the family sat about the cabin, the
silence suddenly was punctuated by
aseries Of gun shots through the hall.
Nav, what's that?" the boys
shouted
Just the T. " A. boys at it again"
she told them. Going to the door, she
called for her missing son, George
Berry.
Pick up yo' marbles and come in
this here house. Them Morgans and
them Llienthals is shootin' again and
you've already got one bullet through
your breeches"
George came running in, out Of
breath. spilling his marbles on the
cabin floor.
Nav then called the boys about her
and sang them song about the feud
over T. v. A. She told about how old
Arthur Morgan got to thinkin that
there was somethin' stinkin' near two
other engineers in Tennessee" Arthur
poured out thousands of words OF libel
and Harcourt and David took the
whole thing straight to Paw Franklin
When Paw Franklin heard the
shootin' down the mountin',
He retched up and took his flint
lock off the wall,
Grabbed his licker off the dresser.
And he said, That derned per-
fessers
Went and took another shot at
Lilienthal"
Pappy aimed his double -barreled,
cross the wood pile.
And he hollered, Arthur, put that
gun away.
Tell me all about this shootin' and
explain this yere disputin'
Or I'll blast some one right out
Of T. v. A."
Arthur then got contumacious and
grew even more bodacious.
An he tightly closed his mouth
and shut his jaw;
Then Paws squirrel gun went
barkin'
And one barrel hit the markin,'
But the other fired back and
singed your Paw.
Cash Commentaries.
The audience was taken back to
ancient Rome in the days of Julius
Caesar, in another scene. with the
modern touch of cash register against
the imperial background Solemn
music greeted the entrance of the
Roman Emperor and his son Au-
gustus. the latter carrying several large
rolls of manuscript, which he placed
on the table beside the cash register
James Augustus. my son. have you
brought all the chapters of my COM
mentaries?' inquired Caesar
Yes, imperial sire. They'll make
history"
What's more, they'll make money
l hope"
/ Somewhat surprised. James Augustus
inquired if his father was going to sell
his "off-the-record" press conferences
adding, They've never been published
before-except in the newspapers"
DO you want to be ill-fed and ILL.,
housed when you leave the palace?'
asked Caesar.
James Augustus suggested theyd
better hurry, as Jim Farley is going
| to publish some real inside stuff"
Have you any other paying ideas?'
the Emperor asked.
! James Augustus suggested selling ad-
vertising in the Congressional Record
We'll, Sol Bloom sold the Consti.
tuition
The son also suggested selling the
Daily Treasury Statement as a Daily
Scandal Sheet. to which his father
added they might charge admission tc
the annual Easter egg-rolling on the
White House lawn.
Roll the kiddies instead of the
| eggs?" asked James
Auction Commentary.
The mercenary conversation was
interrupted by Centurion Steve Early
who introduced three "of your most
affiuent and articulate subjects
Bernarr McFadden of Liberty Maya
zine, in leopard skin; Roy w. How.
ard of Scripps- Howard newspapers, in
loud check shirt and bow tie. and
Col. Robert r. Mccormick of the
m II