Evening star., 1938-09-26
Redskins Daubed With Title Paint Fiery Win Orer Rams
From The
Press Box
Seers Make Grid Comes
V,irtuolIy Unnecessary.
By JOHN LARDNER.

BY JOHN LARDNER.
NEW YORK. Sept. 26.-Mr Fran
cts wallace, the old football hxer
and practicing yogi, has just ripped
the veil of the season Of 1898 with
. few thousand words Of inspired
vision, which he calls by the name
Of "Pisskin Preview."
Mr.. Wallace tells you how many
yards they are going to call against
Pitt for clipping on October ~, and
what way the wind will blow over
the Yale Bowl in the Dartmouth
game. He has picked his all-Amer-
lean team In advance. Come of think
Of It, there is no sense in playing of
this season At all. The best thing
to do Is give the boys their letters
now and build for next year.
IT'S funny. but most of Mr.. WAL
lAce's predictions have come out right
IN the past. rs not only funny, it's
downright peculiar. If We didn't know
that the guy studied his pieskins from
earliest infancy, scouting them from
the cradle up and exchanging views
with their parents in every stockyard
from coast to coast-often paying
for the education and skinning of
the young shoAt out of his own pocket
and seeing that he gets to the right
college-we would suspect Mr.. Wal
lace Of wholesale tampering.
As . matter Of fact, Mr.. Tom
nA0,Au ie - ia<~
way. just to be on the safe side.
Lordner's Review Tokes Core
Of Things Missed by Wallace.
Mr.. Wallace gives you the names
and numbers an dalso the scores. But
there are one or two things he has
overlooked. Lardner's Associate Pig
akin Preview will take care Of those,
and then they can hang up the sea-
con Of 1898 to dry.
Most Of the intersectional games
will be played between teams from
different parts Of the country. There
seems to be no way Of getting around
this abuse, though the Rules Com
mittee has given it q lot of time and
thought.
The defense will remain way ahead
Of the odense. not because of the five-
man line. which Is obsolete, but be-
cause of the unwritten lava new de-
tense which has been knocking juries
over in the North and South alike
The mousetrap will see its last big
season, Is the Malay deathtrap grad
ually takes its place. The Malay death
trap contains the element Of surprise.
Instead of letting the defensive tackle
through and then clipping him over
the head, you dig . large pit behind
the line Of scrimmage and cover 1t
with hay and twigs. This deceives the
defensive chargers, as well as all the
elephants and moose in the neighbor-
hood. They 60 plungins to the bot
tom Of the hole. where they can hear
the rest Of the game broadcast by
radio over 4 special hook-up.
Seer Quite Sure NotionoI
Title Will Remain in U. S.
The. Harvard-Yale game will be
close.
The Big Ten title will be won by
member of the Western Conference.
The national title will stay in this
country.
Extensive use will be made Of 4 new
oooRins weapon, the pass" which
entities the holder to get into the
erandstand free Of charge, or upon
payment Of 4 nominal tax.
There will be three new bowl games,
featuring natural. wholesome rival
Yies, like meeting between the
Northwest Mounted team and the
champions Of the Caribbean PEARL
Divers Conference. One Of the bowls
now in the process Of promotion is
the bowl veevil, of which little can
Be- said at this time, and the less
the better 1T all times.
Keep your eyes on q fellow named
Lets see, where Is that memoran-
dum-Oh. yes, = fellow named Mar
ahAll Goldberg. learn from an ex-
elusive source that this kid has real
promise.
The goal posts Will remain where
they are. Make . note to find out
where the goal posts are right now,
Miss 0ilhooley.
It will Be = year Of interesting con-
traSt between conservative and rax-
Ae-dAxzle football. Whenever q rAx-
de-dAs4le team and 4 conservative
outfit meet on the same ball field
you can be pretty sure it will be
saturday afternoon, nine times out
Of 10, by and large, give or take a
point.
The touchdown will come into its
0wn.
There will never be another Babe
Ruth.
xcebyrisht. 1888. BY the North American
Newspaper Alliance, Inc.)