Evening star., 1938-07-06
Dinner Table
For All
Gentlemen Remain
Standing Until a
Lady Is Seated.
By EMILY POST.

DEAR MRS. POST: At q big din
ner party. should one Of the
gentlemen be. called way from the
table. are the other gentlemen at
table expected 10 make tfe gesture
of rising? Will you answer this:
Q) When all men are at the table
and (2) when ladies are also pres
ent?
Gentlemen do not rise
when another gentleman does, but
they always rise when . lady rises,
and they must remain standing for
as long as she does. This answers
both questions.
DEAR MRS. POST: There con-
tinues to be some question in our
group as to whether the lady should
be seated on the gentleman's right
or left. It has been my understand
ing that the gentleman's dinner guest
Is seated on his right and therefore
should be the lady to have his at
tention. But we would 20 appreci-
ate having you write very thoroughly
on this subject.
Answer-At . formal dinner, a
gentleman's dinner partner-meaning
the lady whom he takes into din
ner-is usually seated on his right.
But this does not mean that he Is
expected to pay her more attention
than he pays to whoever Is seated
on his other side. As q matter Of
fact, he very likely begins talking to
the lady on his left, because hav-
ing already had a short conversation
with his so-called partner. and hav-
ing seated her if no servant was
holding her chair) and then seated
himself. he naturally turns to greet
the lady on his left. and then they
talk to each other for a little while.
Meantime his partner" is greeting
the gentleman on her other side
and continuing to talk to him. CThis
is not . rule, but merely . common
occurrence) At most dinners, since
only at large dinners Of ceremony
do people 60 in by twos, there is no
importance in seating . lady left or
right-except when a gentleman Is
the host. In this case the lady on
his right is the guest Of honor. Even
50, the only rule to be followed Il
that every gentleman shall try to
talk an equal amount Of time. first
to one and then to the other Of the
ladies seated beside him. It is very
rude indeed to talk on through ~
long as half the meal to one person
because 1t keeps the whole table
turned" too long one way.
+
DEAH MRS. POST: 50 many Of our
- friends are widows. which II why
I am going to ask you about the
"at home" We are giving on our
wedding anniversary. The main part
Of the celebration will be in the eve.
ming, between Q and II o'clock. d.
you agree with me that it might be
nicer to invite all the unmarried and
widowed ladies to come in the after
noon?
Answer-l'm sorry to be unenthusi-
astic, but I think 1t would be dim
cult to give one party In the after.
noon and the other In the evening
In fact, I think 1t would exhaust botl,
you and your household completely
I also think 1t Is very bad to separate
guests arbitrarily. In other words
If you invited everybody to both and
told them to take their choice. tha
would be one thing. But to invite Ger.
tain friends to come In in the after.
noon and then ask other ones tt
come In the evening would make thosl
who were asked for the Afternoon
feel that they had been given . les
important invitation, even though the!
might prefer the afternoon to thl
evening. I would rather suggest tla1
you start your evening reception faiSll
early and then those who would lfel
to come early and 90 home early eoei'
do this. Young people and those viii
come With their husbands would pfob.
ably eome htee. n. mss ~
tcepSfisAk 1855