Worcester Democrat and the ledger-enterprise., 1938-06-10

June a, 1888.
Dear Sir,
I congratulate you on creating
the most interesting column of
"Chirps", you have published in
sometime.
Anvone can take sordid real
ism and twist it about or straight
en- it up, as the case may be and
make "copy." But, in your own
"Chirpian vernacular," when l
read your column, "that jest amt
what I'm lookin' for"
I like to read the ideas and
the philosophy of brain long
aged in the charred keg of ex-
perience; although it's only intrin-
sic value may be that of striking
an harmonious chord in my own
mind, inspiring me to think.
Even to think about nothing is
gratifying when you often write
admirably about the same.
l hope you will often allow
your heart to guide your brain in
to the realm of original thought.
Richard Maxim
Thank you, Mr.. Maxim. I'd thank
you more if I knew who you were,
and I'd thank you most, if was sure
I translated your letter correctly. 1
read it over three or four times, and
then some; and, at the last, was not
sure whether it was a boost or bust.
For instance, it was not very clear
whether my column was "jest amt
what I'm lookin' for" or what was
previously described as "copy" was
"jest" what you were not seeking.
Anyhow, I'm going to keep my mind
from worrying and take into my soul
the comforting assurance that "Chirps"
is what you've been looking for, are
now looking for, and will still be look
ing for, to warm you in winter, cool
you in summer, and provide meat and
drink for you any old time.
Speaking of drink, this Maxim let
ter contains little inkling of an in
innate acquaintance with a process
that turns out the product of corn and
rye, and gives to mankind a nectar
that makes man healthy, wealthy,
and wise-at times. Mr.. Maxim
writes of something being "aged" in
"charred keg." Now, there are
other things besides "ideas" and
philosophy" that are "aged" in
"charred kegs" 1 wonder where my
correspondent dug up that metaphor.
Now, if we understand one another,
and he has still on hand any of our
mutually understood "charred keg'
stuff, why any day and date will suit
me. Perhaps through the beverage
that thrills, I'll find out who Mr.. Max
i'm is; We'll get better acquainted;
I'll furnish what "ideas" and "philo-
sophy" can, if he'll furnish the
"charred keg" ingredient, and the
days and nights will flow sweetly on.
There's another thing: it's all right
to use figures of speech, but 1 just
want to warn my friend about using
the word "aged", if it in the remot-
test degree refers to the sole own
er, proprietor, and patentee of this
column-me, myself. 1 don't know
Mr.. Maxim, and he doesn't know me,
if he imagines I'm sinking into the
sere and yellow, all he's got to do is
to rout out some of that ooh! be Joy
full" and by ten o'clock, I'll have him
under the table. Somebody has given
out the opinion that a man after 40
should be chloroformed; well, some of
these chloroformers had better watch
their steps, or they might find them
selves being waited into the LAND of
Nowhere" themselves.
Well, Mr.. Maxim, you've introduced
yourself to me; now give me the op-
portunity to return the compliment.
You don't seem to have many &C.
quaintances around here; at least, my
inquiries have been futile as to your
identity. Once upon a time, there
was a man by the name of Maxim,
who invented the arrangement to put
on firearm to prevent its revealing
its whereabouts-a silencer, as it
were. Maybe you've adopted the
name for similar reason. Anyhow.
whoever you may be, thanks for your
notice, whether you mean it or don't