Evening star., 1938-12-25

All of this she did mechanically.
Finally she turned out the kitchen
light and went into the small combina-
ton dining and living room and lit
the lamp there. She felt complete
of feeling. She looked at
the clock 1t was eight-thirty.
Maxine thought that she ought to
be doing something but she did not
know exactly what to do first. She
ought to pack her clothes and get the
apartment ready to leave. Because
of course it was all over. Now she
mas going home.
Yet for some reason her listlessness
had left her and she felt strangely
alive and tlngling and expectant. For
what? Cal would never come back,
She knew him and his stubbornness.
Well, she thought little grimly.
now she could go home and tell her
mother that Cal had left her. had
walked out on her because he was sick
of her whining, had left her flat, SO she
was back home again like returned
merchandise The thought of sobbing
out her troubles on her mothers
breast suddenly lost its flavor. All this
time she had been thinking of her
mother as haven of tenderness in
hard world. Now she remembered
other aspects of her mothers charac-
ter lost in the fog Of homesiCkness.
She knew with sure instinct that
her mother would look at her severely
over her shcll-rimmed glasses and say
what she thought about a girl that
married a nice boy like Cal Eber and
wouldn't 60 swimming with him when
he offered to go to church with her.
but went alone and felt holy about it.
Maxine could see her mothers cold
judgment on the business Of not liking
Calls friends Her mother who always
put on her best linen and special food
and treated old Hiram klaut like an
hOnorcd guest when he was really too
dirty even to be let into the house,
because Hiram had saved Dads life
when a boy and Dad still loved him.
So she wanted to go home for Christ
mas? As though Christmas consisted
of sweet smelling kitchen and fields
covered with snow Maxine had been
taught better than that. Christmas
was in the heart. her mother always
reminded them. Christmas was loving
and thinking of Others first Christmas
was trying to be Christhkc.
Maxine sat very straight in the
little chair by the tiny dining room
table She could see as in a movie that
all their trouble had started because
her family was afeCtionate and Gals
wasn't. Her mother kissed them all
good night until they were grown.
Her father was always teasing and
pcttlng. The Ebers were devoted
clan. but they didn't make much show
of their feelings She had wanted to sit
on Calls knees. wanted Cal to hug and
kiss her all the time. She had asked
him, 'Do you love me-" until he was
sick of hearing it. Yet Cal had some
thing clean and true about him, and
loving and tender if you didn't make
him self-conscious and stubborn about
it. He just wasn't demonstrative For
the first time in her young life Maxine
knew that hugging. kissing. talking
about it were no measure of loving.
She jumped up suddenly. Cal was
gone. He had slammed out of the
house and left her. She had alienated
him completely. Perhaps he was
through with her for good and all.
Perhaps she had completely killed his
love. The thought made her cold.
Why Cal had always loved her -
since she could remember She had
always been Gals girl Neither one of
them had ever gone with anyone else.