Evening star., 1938-05-23
Worthwhile
Discipline
Of Child
Builds Self.Esteem,
Any Other Kind
Causes Harm.
By ANGELO PATRI.

A HEALTHY mind has a certain
degree of self-appreciation and
needs it to keep in health. When a
human being loses his feeling of self
respect he falls into depression OF
spirit that cannot be healthy. Any
form of discipline that costs self-re-
spect is bad. 1t is a crime against the
individual and merits severe disap-
proval. Society is offended, injured by
any such practice and should take
measures to protect itself against
them.
Badges of shame are about the
worst form of such cruelty. Their use
comes down to us through long and
dishonorable period of years. Slaves
were branded in the old days: probably
are today. Charlotte Bronte pictures
the distress of child forced to wear a
sign hung about her neck, branding
her as liar Kipling tells about such
q heart-searing experience in his auto
biography. Enough has been said
about it to make such a practice
abominable in the sight of men, and
yet every once in while we hear that
it is still in practice. More is the
shame to us.
Beating children costs them loss OF
self-respect. I can understand that
two to three year olds may need a slap
on the hands occasionally. Even that
slap must be administered justly,
promptly, without any doubt as to its
fitness on either side. I can under
stand how mother or teacher, tried
beyond endurance, slaps a mis-
chievous. troublesome child. Here
again the slap is given smartly on
time, no doubt about its justice. Chill
dren don't feel any loss of face under
such conditions. But beating child
who has feeling of self, of person.
ality, is out of the question. 1t simply
cannot be done.
Rearing children is difficult task,
and few mothers have been prepared
for it. They are no less human than
anyone else, and there are few people
who patiently stand the noise and
confusion and general upsetness that
q group of lively youngsters can make.
Mothers endure more without protest
than any of the rest of US; so 1t is
not to be wondered at if now and then
they crack under the strain and take
stick. But that does little good.
I once knew a mother who had a
good-sized family of boys and girls
and kept them busy and happy with
very little family friction, and no
loss of self-appreciation in the process.
When Jimmy, a lively one, got to
making life miserable for Matilda, a
sensitive, close-to-tears sort, Mother
Mary would look benignly at him and
say, Jimmy, hear that old goat out
in the upper field. You're the only
one that can get her in without ruin
ing the place. Take your cap and
bring her in for me. son." Jimmy's
chest expanded and he went with a
proud strut. =. "Tillie, maybe you
could spread the cloth for the supper.
There's nobody can make it look so
smooth and so neat" And off would
90 Tillie, all tears forgotten. Mother
Mary knew how to provide balm for
the self f-esteem of her children.
Didn't they know it? I'm sure that
they did, afterward, for they used to
talk about it, with smiles in their
eyes and deep affection in their
voices. THE way she kept us going,
and kept us growing, too, and without
ever lifting hand to us! How she
ever did it beats me, but she knew
how to work every one of U.s."
Discipline that is worthwhile builds
up the self-esteem, the self-apprecia-
ton, the personal pride, whatever
term you like, of the child under
training. If it works against the self
appreciation of the child, it is useless.
Worse, 1t is harmful.
Mr.. Patri has prepared leaflet
entitled Changing Habits" In
which he tells parents how to
overcome a chiId's unpleasant
habits. Send for it, addressing your
request to Mr.. Angelo Patri, Child
Psychology Department Of this pa
per. Inclose a self-addressed,
stamped (3-cent) envelope.
(Copyright. 1889