The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1938-01-13
II ., Q II5II:,
lIlIIlIllI
No Such Thing as Good
Husband for Any Girl;
Must Be Suited.

NEAR MISS DENE: I should like
II to know what you consider is
a good husband for any girl. My
daughter has a chance to marry
fine young man, and SO far as her
father and / can see, he is about as
good a type for marriage as any
she is likely to meet. But she says
that he would not make her good
husband, and she treats him SO bad
ly, l wonder that he stays around.
1 want to help her but I need an
outsiders opinion to help me first.
w. Va.
ANSWER There is no such thing
as a good husband for ANY girl.
There are plenty of good husbands
in the world but their efficiency is
founded on the fact that they found
the women best suited to them and
that their wives love and alteration
help to make them good husbands.
But man can be honorable and
fine and good provider and ten
der loving companion-yet bore his
wife to death and make her rest
less and dissatisfied for the remain
der of her life. It's not that he
does anything wrong. It's just that
he can't possibly do anything right
for the woman who doesn't love
him. If he is generous and sweet
and kind, she despises him for be-
ing an easy MARYLAND longs for the
primitive caveman type.
A man may be thrillingly romantic,
passionate and possessiue enough to salts.
~ any naiden's dream but il he doesn't
find the right wonlan, he ,oiH be loss
on the matrimonial market. For the roife
who doesn't love him WiH ya,on in the
face of his most dramatic Outbursts and
iUiH yearn for quiet, placid existence
Uith q nice, calm ife-pdrmer. Mothers
and fathers of course look ouer their
possible son-in-laU iUith practical eye.
II he's a good propider and an honest,
steady yorker, they are at least relieved
OF any iUOrry about their daughters fu-
fure and it is quite natural that they
should OK The courtship.
But they must not forget that
Mary will manage to make herself
desperately unhappy even in ten
room house with a garage and
smart car and two new frocks a
week-if the man she marries isn't
her idea of a good husband. True
she will not know the suffering and
despair of utter poverty but if she
has an imagination and the will to
use it in the wrong direction she
will arrange to have a special sort
of suffering which will cast blight
on her marriage.
Very often we see a young man
pointed out as splendid candidate
for marriage because he neither
smokes nor drinks nor fools around
with women. Yet letters come to
me from girls who have married
these exemplary Observation-Disclosures
which complain bitterly: "He
doesn't seem to be human. I wish
he had a few faults so that he'd
be more like other people. He nev-
er wants to 60 out and froWns at
the slightest suggestion of frivolity.
I feel that I am getting to be an
old woman, without ever having had
any fun"
And that other perfect candidate
for marriage, "The good steady
worker" can be just as unsuccess-
full as his shiftless brother if he
chooses the wrong mate. For his
industry and his untiring energy
and his preoccupation with his job
will get on the nerves of the woman
who has no ambition for him, and
who would rather live simply on
very little money than be a bust
ness widow.