Evening star., 1938-01-24
BOY and q girl who are soon
to be married ask me what .
hnshn nd and mia ha va a ,d1hf

~ to be married ask me what .
~ husband and wife have . right
4 "A to expect Of each other. Well.
the first great expectation Of every
bridal couple Il that they will stay
as romantically In love after marriage
as they were before, but this should
be classified as hope rather than q
demand, because none OF us can con-
troll our emotions. When a husband
and wife go on loving each other to
the end OF the chapter it is by the
grace of God and not because of a
sense of duty. The only VOW that we
take at the marriage altar that we
cannot keep through our will power
IS the one to love, for we cannot love
the unlovable, nor even one for whom
we have lost our taste.
So, then, you have no right TO ex-
pect your husband or wife to love you
merely because you are bound to-
gether In the bonds Of matrimony
When, through the years. the fire
never goes out on the altar it is a
miracle wrought by your guardian
angels. and it is compounded in about
equal parts Of the domestic virtues and
just pure luck. For to win love is one
thing, and to keep it is something
else that requires, as the English say,
bit Of doing.
But, coming down from the clouds
OF sentiment to the brass tacks of
everyday living. there are some prac-
tical, commonplace things that every
husband and wife have a right to ex-
pect of each other and would 60 a
long way toward making marriage a
success instead of q racket for d.
vorce lawyers If only they would meet
their honest obligations.
LIVERY husband or wife has a right
to expect faithfulness from his or
her mate. When man gives a woman
his name and trusts his honor to her
keeping he has a right to expect her
to keep them clean and not drag them
in the mire. When woman puts her
life into a mans hands she has a
right to expect him to guard we'll the
treasure she has bestowed upon him
and not throw it away for wanton.
The Preen-eyed monster has no place
in the family circle. There can be no
happiness in any marriage unless the
husband and wife absolutely trust
each other. Unless a man has had
enough Of philandering and woman
Is tired Of flirtstions, in common hu-
manity they should stay single.
Every husband and wife has q right
to expect his or her mate to pull his
or her weight in the boat. Every
woman has right to expect her hus-
band to bring home the bacon. and
every husband has a right to expect
his wife to know how to fry It. The
man who is lazy, loaflng ne'er-do-
we'll, who sits on the do-nothing stool
and let's his wife toll to support him,
Is no whit more blamable than the
trif1ing, shiftless woman who keeps
her house like pigsty and feeds her
husband on food that would poison
an ostrich.
Every husband or wife has a right
to expect at least common politeness
from each other. Marriage does not
exempt men and women from prac-
ticing the amenities of life. It only
increases the necessity for observing
them. Because a woman happens to
be mans wife does not give him
the privilege of saying things to her
that he would not dare to say to any
strange woman who had an able
bodied brother, and that he would not
dream of saying to a good stenog-
rapher or cook who could give notice
and quit. Because the man is her
husband does not make It less criminal
for the wife to say the mean. hateful
little things she would not say to the
ashman. Certainly husbands and
wives have right to expect to be
treated with as much courtesy as
strangers.
A ND most OF all. husbands and wives
have a right to expect that their
mates will make some effort to make
their marriage something more than
a dreary endurance test: that they
will do something actively to make
them happy and make marriage worth
while. The husband has a right to
expect his wife to manifest some
gratitude for all the hard work he
does to make her comfortable. He
has right to expect her to jolly him
a little and try to keep him amused,
and not to become so absorbed in the
children that she forgets she has
husband.
And the wife has q right to expect
her husband to show some apprecia-
ton OF her endless labor for him and
the children. She has right to ex-
pect him to pay her a few compli-
ments and to give her at least a night
out Of every week. and not to act as
if just being married to him was all
the pleasure any woman could ask.
What happy world it would be if
all husbands and wives realized all
their expectations in marriage!
low n|QuDh |