The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1938-04-28

| 0AA uA6uAC0 VoSS thCy SoA SCt away
from it all. Cowboy, Indian, Buff
falo Bill, cop, robber, a knight in
armor, a soldier in battle he is each
and all Of these things at once in
q perfectly swell land of make be-
lieve ;. Now we really don't out
grow that habit-of pretending I
mean. Only older we pretend to
be, not what we want to be, but
what we'd like other people to think
us to be Which is a neat hunk
Of philosophy for rainy mawning.
| go
How Not to Spend a Weekend
This Is cagey age, so watch your
step. I know it's great fun to be
out at lake where the breeze muir
murs through the treetops, rustling
a myriad leaves, and the waves play
q chorus that rocks you to sleep.
Yes, we know all that, but don't
get invited out to cottage by q
friend for a pleasant weekend" /.
It'll take ten. years off your life.
Now the guy to avoid is the guy
who owns his own cottage. He is
not only an amicable host, but a
bear for work. And no one Is ex-
empt. And invitation to his sum-
mer cottage is like a contract to
sweat shop =.
Now perhaps am speaking out
of school, but I feel it is my sacred
duty as a newspaperman imam, did
you say)? to warn you. Now here's
the way he will work it. He'll prey
upon your mood. If you look like
day in the open is all you need
to get you over that all-gone feel
ing. If you are incoming around
about the glories of nature. In the
flick of an eyelash, he has you in
the dragnet. Subtly, deity he lets
leakout an invitation to his cottage
in the north woods. You are posi-
lively aghast with the magnanimity
of the offer, are floored with the
very idea. So the next Saturday
you start out equipped with maps
and a sign language with which to
ask the natives direction. After
some hours Of driving, and lost no
less than ten times, you arrive. The
drive has been telling on you. But
you find your host in jovial mood,
in old clothes, shingling his garage.
49,
Being good fellow, and not
wanting to stand around below
craning your neck to talk to him,
you offer assistance. For weren't
you quite a shingler in your youth?
That's where you made the fatal err
ror. So you shingle, and outside of
hammering your finger to a pulp
and slivering up your knees you
escape without falling off the roof.
The next morning you decide to
go fishing. A very noble idea.
Everyone should go fishing at the
lake. But as you step onto the dock
the thing practically caves in with
your weight. Only minute to
fix it up" invites your host. So
up go your sleeves You begin
to get the idea? But you haven't
seen it all. You and the host and
the friend wives will have steak
fry. An innocent pastime, you de-
duce, for by this time you are
frightened to death to suggest any,
thing. Now you discover the thing
won't draw "A couple of rocks to
fix UP the hole" says the host. So
while he fixes the cement, you bus
tie off for a couple of boulders.
Well, you slam them down and
mash a finger between the two, and
somehow the thought of steak isn't
so pleasant ). Or he needs a pail
of water, and suddenly discovers
that a cat has fallen in the well
So you find yourself at the bottom
of well, with the wet ooze trick
ling down your neck.
Now all this is accomplished very
subtly as I have tried to point out.
Mein Host plays the role Of the
martyr leading you to believe it is
practically an imposition that you
CHANGED along this particular week
end. He is lamenting and very
apologize, oh very, that all these
things had to be tended to this
weekend. But the rains would come
and his things in the garage get
wet, or somebody would break a
leg on the dock, and the wife can't
drink water with a dead cat in it?
BY this time you wish you could
think of something to put In your
hosts water. Something gently
poisonous. So you start the merry
trip homeward while your wife
prattles about what lovely home
they have and didn't 1--WE have a
wonderful time, dear?" =. But you
are not listening to her. You are
muttering unrepeatable things un-
der your breath. And every jolt
Is knife in your back. Next week.
end you will take up the quiet pas
time Of sitting on your front porch
with a mint julep and good book.
Yeah, that's what you thinki