Evening star., 1938-01-11
LAUGH MACHINE
NEWEST IN RADIO
Production Line Technique
Applied to Gags by
Phil Baker.

HILL BAKER, veteran radio
- comic, announces the compile
ton of the Baker Automatic
4 Radio Script Mixer. This re-
nnarkable machine, to hear Baker and
Oscar Bradley tell it, already has revo-
iutionized the radio industry.
1T is a relatively simple affair.""
says the inventor, "and came to me
in It's entirety during 4 bad dream
last May. Its fundamental purpose
Is to turn out radio script Of required
dimensions at any given time. The
primary elements are:
I. One velvet-hned concrete mixer,
on which Is superimposed:
2. Miniature audience chamber with
dummy audience.
8. Pianola which plays clair de
Lune" while gag writer's work.
4. Automatic joke and sag-line sep
arator.
5. Mccormick skit reaper and
thrasher.
6. Automatic laugh machine and
applause accelerator.
7. Special governor which cuts
power when machine jams on old Joke.
Let us watch the preparation OF
one Of my Sunday night shows, over
the Columbia network.
Script writer's are first shoveled
into the main hopper and ground
thoroughly. If no explosion results,
raw material is now tossed in-Beetle,
Bottle. jokes, skits, vocal interludes and
hot spots We season with a pro-
duction man, stir in Oscar Bradley's
musicians and allow to cool for half
an hour before we add an announcer.
At the $50 rehearsal I throw the
main switch and operations begin.
From the hopper the rough script
Is forced through a series Of sieves
and pressure chambers which extract
the last laugh from each gag line and
Joke. Fourteen gag writer's are sta
toned on the assembly line as the
show emerges. The finished product,
frightened, cut and timed, is now
hoisted to the audience chamber and
tested under pressure on the dummy
audience
This chamber is the most delicate
part OF the machine-and subject to
great strains and stresses even though
the governor Immediately stops the
machine If joke is too old. In my
flrst experiments the room exploded
and killed Is script writer's"
The chilled steel chamber now in
Use registers reactions through a sys-
tenn Of colored lights O) II wheeze
Is too phony, a red light and siren
summon three squad cars. (2) A green
light and whistle indicates a passable
gag. 90 In case of a colossal guffaw
Baker in person is automa tically
hoisted to the top Of 200-foot flag
pole. where he emits series Of purple
flashes every half hour.
The automatic script mixer will not
take Bakers accordion solos. The
gears were stripped during a rendition
of That Old Feeling" and three trom-
bone players were hurt during
'L'Amour, Toujours L'Amour" At
present solos are riveted on the finished
product in a separate operation.
ESS scientific matters: Col. Frank
Knox the recent Republican vice
presidential nominee, speaks over
N. B. G. at 1890 this evening from
the Republican meeting in Cleveland
-. Edgar A. Guest brings Fred Baer,
organizer Of the Ghost Writers Bureau,
which has written everything but
Guest poems, to the 1T Can Be Done"
program tonight at 8:30 on the N. B. c.
blue network Edward G. Robin
son. the cinema actor, stars in c. B. SIS
newspaper serial, big Town." at 8
pm. Louise Fazenda, veteran
cemedienne, is guest star on Al Jol-
sons show 1T $3.50, WJSV, and be-
comes involved in skit with Martha
Raye and Parkyakarkus Mile Raye
also sings This evenings Holly
wood Mardi Gras, N. B. C. at $50,
introduces q new dramatic group
known as "The Mummers" (not num-
mics, please), which offers the talents
Of such old stagers as Walter O'Keefe,
Lanny Ross, Charlie Butterworth and
others :. AS part of the same pro-
gram Raymond Paige and his orchestra
dish up q symphonic arrangement of
"How Dry AM" formerly a favorite
OF the mugs in the barber shops {.
and at 1045, 50 help LIS, Dale Carne-
gle tells How to Get q Raise" {.
N. B. c. red network. r. B. p, Jr.