Askov American. [volume] (Askov, Pine County, Minn.) 1914-current, 1938-12-01
Coll It Even
By KARL GRAYsoN
G Associated Newspapers.
WNU Service.


~ Uncle Moe, young Kilburn Blake
was advised that he had been men,
toned in the old gentleman's will.
ITO my nephew, Kilburn Blake, !
bequeath my Wimple automobile
The news did not set Kilburn's
heart a-flutter with palpitations OF
fondness. The Wimple automobile,
to be sure, was beautiful specimen
of machinery. But the cost Of own
ing and operating one was prohibit
tive, unless q mans yearly stipend
was in the five-figure class. Which
Kilburn's wasn't. Indeed, on $50 a
week one would no more think Of
buying a Wimple than investing in a
SIS, ZOO house.
Kilburn's first thought was to Of
fer the Wimple as down payment on
a smaller and less expensive car.
Investigation, however, revealed
that the trade-in value of Wimples
was next to nil, due to their lack Of
resale value.
It was all rather disheartening.
Here he was stuck with a piece Of
machinery he couldn't use and for
which he was paying garage rent
and taxes. Why not have the thing
stolen and collect the insurance?
Well, why not? A noble thought. The
premium was paid for six months in
advance; the $500 for which the car
was insured would buy a new and
smaller machine, with money to
spare.
Kilburn had all kinds of faith in
human nature-so he drove the
Wimple up town the next day and
left it parked in a vacant lot with
the key in the ignition. When he
came for it that night-it was still
there.
The following evening, Kilburn
took his girl to the movies, and left
the Wimple, key in lock, on the
adjacent side street. Hopefully he
returned to the spot after the per-
formance-and not only found that
the automobile was present and in
tact, but ticket tucked under the
windshield wiper. informed him that
the side street had parking laws
and he'd better show up at the po-
lice station. AS soon as he was able
to buy gasoline again, he drove the
vehicle into that section of the city
known as the slums, the underworld,
the tough district. Parking it be-
fore a pool room he strolled away
with hopeful nonchalance.
Refusing however, to permit him.
self to become too optimistic, he
remained away from the locale until
after midnight. He had read some
where that crime addicts worked
better in the wee small hours. Re-
turning to the pool room at 3 a. m.
he discovered to his disgust that
nothing had happened to his legacy.
A fortnight later Kilburn drove to
the neighboring town of Ridgefield
to attend party. At 1890 it &C.
CURED to him to 60 home, but upon
attempting to put the plan into exc
cution, he met with an obstacle. The
Wimple, which he had parked in
froSt of his friends house, was miss
ing.
/ a. first, Kilburn was eiated. Con-
Germ, however, followed. There re-
manned the matter of getting back to
the city, 10 miles distant. The last
bus had gone, the party had broken
up and his friends house was dark.
There remained but single alter
native and Kilburn was forced to
take it. He located a taxi stand
and negotiated for the necessary
transportation for a consideration of
$500. Before leaving, however, he
appraised the local police of the loss
of his car, and during the ride home
he revived his spirits by thinking of
the $500 insurance money he would
receive.
The next morning he notified the
insurance company of the theft, and
went jovially to work. That night
the Ridgefield police called and ad-
vised him that they had located
what was left of the Wimple.
"How do you mean, what's left of
it," Kilburn asked.
Someone took it for a Joy ride
and ran into a stone wall. It's pref
ty badly demolished"
"Oh," said Kilburn, and hung up.
After a moments thought he
searched the classified section of the
telephone directory and presently
called number.
"Is this the Ridgefeld junk yard?"
he asked.
eyes"
"My car was smashed up last
night on Brant street. How much'll
you give me for it for JUNK"
"Oi!" So it vas your car? Veil.
Oil tell you. That car is on my
land already. 1t will cost you SIC
for leaving it there"
Kilburn said something under his
breath. Aloud: Nov, wait min.
ute! Do l understand that whoever
It was smashed up my car chose
your property on which to do the
smashing? And you're trying tc
charge me for storage?"
"Vell, Oil tell you. Veil call il
even. I'll take the car an charge
you not one penny. Veil call il
even."
Indignation and anger welled ur
-