Evening star., 1938-12-18

or 50 of his visit Only if he had beeAn li'~''.N
to tea did he leave them with his coaefslt t''@
hall, H.,
In fashionable country places. Newport.
Bar Harbor, Tuxedo and so on. formallty was
scarcely less relaxed than in town - especially
in the evening. Dinners and dances were
exactly the same. A girl who was out was
Miss then and forever to every man who
met her - except the one to whom she
became engaged
Today, on the other hand. the country
holds us enthralled. And we who must live in
town make our surroundings as much like the
country as we can. Our preference IS for rooms
of airy emptiness. with sunlight pouring .
through huge unCurtained windows on bright
colors. deep comfortable Io,,nging furniture
We like objects necessary to comfort close at
hand. but we discard objects of no purpose.
The unessential formalities of yesterday have
also to great extent been discarded. And
likewise our standards of social behavior
are changing
In what is plainly transition stage in the
world of society as we'll as in politics. the
wildered; the younger generation has not yet
established its codes securely In other words
the social world is very like the political one
Many of the old ways have outlived their
usefulness Many of the new ways threaten
to destroy quality and distinction. largely
through misunderstanding of the words
'simplicity" and informal,
Simplicity is a word of many meanings
it can mean plainneSs: it can mean ignorance
On the other hand, it can mean beauty 1IoI
such perfection that nothing in the wsdv of
trimming is needed to embelish it, 1t :. is
simplicity in this sense which has always
characterized really best society. and which.
must characterize the new society. \ thing
can no more be simple. and at the same time
be vulgar than>silence can be noise
Informality does not mean manneriess
behavior. sloppy housekeeping. or things don.,s
any old way. 1t merely means absence of
ceremonial form. The hostess of today who
remains lolling in her chair when visitor
comes into the room. a young woman visitor
who takes off her hat and SHES it across the
floor. or stretches herself into horizontal
position or takes out her cigarette case and
smokes no matter whether in siCkroom or in
baby S nursery. or at the beginning of a
meal in the house Of hostess who does not
include cigarettes in her table setting - this
young woman is il-bred
That your manners must match Your back
ground does not mean that they are put on or
taken off. but merely that they automatically
adjust themselves to the natural requirements
of suitability. You become formal just as
unself-Consciously as you. at other times. are
informal. The more complete your social
training the more easily do you adapt your
self to changing situations and yet the
more completely do you remain yourself In
church. for example. you instinCtlvely sit up
a little more straight against the pew back
than you would in theater or in an easy e
chair at home. If you are giving formal
dinner or receiving total stranger, or If
YOU are anywhere out in public. your manners
are necessarily more reserved - yet they
differ only specifically from those which are
habitualy yours at home
In other words. it is essential to acquire
social hexibility - to be formal and at other :
times informal. Just as all work and no pla,
makes Jack dull boy. unrelieved formality .
would mean an impersonal and inhuman Z
society. On the other hand no observance of
formality would result in loss of quality "A