The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1938-01-27

" NC IttA1AIS ShNi IAAlbs35 lhNAoN
l. y ing our patience.
There once was a day when,
if you heard the word "tax," you
thought of a small box full of little
demi-tasse nails which bit you when
you tried to pull one out to mend the
window shade.
Now when anyone asks if you have
some lacks in the house, you rush
for the desk drawer and pull out
handful of final notices.
OF course, these only represent the
sort of taxes which come to visit you
in the home, and range in size from
the big, burly Federal Income Tax
Return counterpart, down to the little
itsy-bitsy twO-dollar poll-tax. Just
why l should ever receive the latter,
have never understood. Poll-tax in
deed, when I've never even priced a
parrot much less kept one.
l pay my dog tax, though. They
call it license, of course, but it's a
tax on my pocketbook no matter what
they call it. / suppose the tax on
shoes is the real dog tax oh
well, that one is at least my own,
poor thing!
The first fast one the government
put over on US in a big way, was
that intelligence test, the income tax,
and what a crossword puzzle that
turned out to be! At first it wasn't so
popular, but now the fifteenth of
March has become the fixed date for
the annual Munchausen contest, and
everybody goes at it in a spirit of
catch-as- catch-can and rather likes it.
They say its fun to be fooled" but
it's even more fun trying to fool the
Collector of Eternal Revenue.
The states, many of them being a
lot of old copy-cats, got out a second
edition of the above mentioned. The
State Income Tax may be a state affair
but it is also that in the plural-a
state of affairs and if you don't
believe me, just wait until you have
to pay yours this year!
The whole country is now like mid
town New York at midday: taXis,
taxis everywhere and you can't make
a move in any direction without run
ming into 'em.
Of course the gas tax is good
thing in a way because it keeps a
lot of people in their homes. But it's
a shame it don't apply on the floor of
the house of representatives.
\, Ioe Eos ho,
got In a few states such as California
and New York, well, it's funny how
people are. When the government al
lowed that 2% per cent beer was
legal, the folks kicked because it
wasn't strong enough. But a per
cent sales tax is so strong they claim it
knocks 'em for a headache. Oh well,
it takes all kinds of people to make
a world and then what have you got?
The beauty who is getting all the at
tax. Around where l live, they call
it the New Inheritance Tax. Well, l
must say that years ago, all / in
herited from my Uncle Bill was lot
of taxes, so if they think inheritance
taxes are something new, they are
goofy. l admit there was a farm at
tached-quite heavily attached-to the
taxes Uncle left me, but it was so
we'll showed under that by the time
dug off the last line had to slap it
back again to keep the roof from cav
ing in from age. If the inheritance
tax goes far enough, we won't even be
sure of our own tombstones
All well, taxes never come single in
spite of all Henry George said. The
only people they really help are the
newspaper cartoonists. With the rest
Of the population they have given rise
to lot of prejudice. Why, my broth
er, for instance, don't like to be
known as a taxi-driver, because he's
afraid people will think he's revenue
man.
Now I am not narrow-minded or
unpatriotic about this tax business,