Evening star., 1938-07-02
EAR MISS DIX am a man
in my early 30s and have
been married two years. Up
tn the time I married was

been married two years. UP .
- to the time I married I was
the chief support of my family, who
own a family resort hotel which had
been operating and supporting finan-
cially. When I married left the
hotel. leaving a brother in his late
20s. who could have taken my place,
but who has been unable to earn any
money. due partly to present circum-
stances and partly to his vision of
becoming a big business man. Lately |
the family have gone deeply in debt,
due to changes which were made con-
I was heavily in debt myself. I have
finished paying those debts and am
now paying for our household furnish !
ings and other necessities, depriving .
my wife and myself of all the things
that should be possible with my in |
come. I am constantly begged and be- |
seeched by my family for money, and !
although I manage to buy substantial
grocery orders to send to them. am |
unable to do any more than that.
tell them that can just manage to
make both ends meet. but few days |
later they come begging again, and
when I tell them that I can give no !
more they think am cold and selfish,
and that makes me sick at heart. All |
of this Is driving me mad. What can
I do? 1T.
AnSwer-There is no problem hard
er to settle than how far a man should |
permit himself to be victimized by a
predatory family. Their are 50 many |
things to consider in it. because the |
heart pulls one way and the head the !
other and it takes more backbone than |
most Of us possess to say no" when !
those We love come crying to us for |
succor.
BY what process of selection a fam
lily elects one of its members the fam !
lily goat, and expects him or her to
spend the balance Of his or her life in |
supporting it, no one knows. But all |
of us see it happening around us |
Susan or John get job as soon as they |
get out of school, and thereafter moth
brothers sit down on the do-nothing |
stool and take life easy.
EATHER suddenly decides he is too
old to work any more and chucks |
his job. Mother takes Susans or
Johns pay envelope and uses it as she
sees flt Many times she spends her |
industrious childs hard-earned money
in giving the other children pretty |
clothes and advantages and indul-
gences that Susan or John never had
And the younger brothers and sisters
take all that the older ones have
earned as their right, and neither they
nor their parents feel that it is Just |
as much up to Percival and Maud to
help support the family as it is to
Susan and John.
And Susan and John never stop to
consider whether in enslaving them
selves to their families they are not |
doing them more harm than good
For while it is true they support them |
physically. they are undermining their
morale. They are breaking down their
self-respect and independence and
making them idlers and loafers Ger
tainly husky, middle-aged man would
be better citizen If he was forced to
support himself than he is living on
the work of frail young daughter.
And certainly the boys and girls who
were compelled to do their part in
supporting the family would develop
finer characters than those who are
parasites on q sister or brother.
I am thinking now of family who
for 40 years kept q generous brothers
nose to the grindstone. This man
worked hard. He was q good money
Garner. But he denied himself and
his own wife and children everything
but the barest necessities because first
his mother and father, and then his
brothers and sisters and their families
made continual demands upon his
purse. They were always getting into
debt and about to be sold out of house
and home. They were always having
operations and doctors bills that they
couldn't pay. And 50 they always
came begging him fors help that he
never refused.
Finally the good brother died and !
there was no one to help the family
any more, 50 all Of the idle neer-do-
wells had to 60 to work to support |
themselves. The result was that they
prospered amazingly, and now every
one Of them Is well-to-do, independent |
and far happier than they were when |
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