The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1938-06-09


81 can't understand why Mary is so
careless and untidy about her room.
She never keeps her things picked up,
and her drawers neat, the way Sue
does. And I've trained them both ex-
actly the same"
When a mother makes this kind OF
statement, she thinks she is being
truthful. She doesn't realize that two
children can never be trained in exactly
the same way, because they are diff
ferent individuals. They do not re-
act in the same way, even though the
same methods may be used with both.
1t is a common belief that because
children grow up in the same family,
they have the same environment, but
that this can never be true will be evil
dent if We examine the facts. In the
first place, while parents may love their
children equally, they cannot treat
them exactly alike, for several reasons.
For instance, only one child can be the
first child in family. When the Sec
ond comes along, the parents are a
little less excited, everything that the
baby does is not remarked about and
commented on in quite the same way.
Tim too, the Unborn combinations OF
traits that the two children inherit
are not alike. One may be slower than
the other, or better looking, or bigger
and stronger. One may be slower than
the other, which will show up in his
reaction to discipline. The school per.
Torrance of the Scond is almost sure tc
be compared to that of the first, be-
cause that is all the parents have to &c
by.
Another thing that varies with diff.
ferent children in the same home L
the circumstances of the family. WheI
the first child is born, the parents ma.
be struggling to make both ends meet
and by the time their fourth chile
arrives, they may be comfortably stu
ated, so that this child does not know
the pinching and scraping that dolores
the first child's early years. Or, tn
opposite may be true. After years o
comfortable living, financial reverse
may mean that the younger child
rem in a family grow up in an at
mosphere of struggle and uneasines
on account of the daily battle for ex
istence that must be fought.
One family did not understand ho'
it was that their eldest child was Sh
and timid in social situations. The
were always drawing comparisons be
tween him and his brother, who had a.
easy, friendly manner, no matter ho'
large a group he was in nor how strang
the persons were to him. What thi
family did not realize was that tn
early years of the first child'S life
passed in a town where the parent
knew few people intimately, and ha
no relatives, had not given him op
portunitieS for social learning that ha
come from the first to his brother
surrounded by relatives and friend
when they moved back to their oil
home town.
The mother whose remarks about he
daughters untidiness were quoted wa
unaware that she had been emphaSiNn
her daughters differences in way
encourage the very habits she was de
que 1ldO d1lCdOy lCdIIiSl LILO
she received favorable comments on he
neatness before Mary got to be oil
enough to do much for herself, so sh
tried hard to live up to her mother
praise. Every time the mother urge
Mary to do as Sue did, the child fe,
baffled. Being held up to standard
that were at first beyond her, she trie
less and less, and even felt kind {
contrary job in having her poor be
havior pointed out to her. Was it an
wonder that she felt jealous of he
sister, who always seemed to get tn
pleasant comments? It was not,
fact, until the older girl went ava
from home to school that the younge
one felt any interest in keeping
apple-pie-order the room that she ha
always shared with her sister. Now
was her room, instead of Sues room
which she was looked upon as kin
of interoper, and she acted accordingl.
No, children may grow up unde
the same roof, they may be love
equally by their parents, but they can
not be treated in the same way, and S
there is nothing at all queer in thei
having very different habits and trait
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