The Key West citizen. [volume] (Key West, Fla.) 1879-current, 1938-02-18
TOO LATE TO
CLASSIFY
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.


This is the season Of the year
when political prognOsdcators be
gin to break out with the itch and
assume the task of enlightening
the world as to the direction and
velocity of political winds
Cracked and time-worn crystals
are dragged out OF the attic, dust
ed off and put into service. Self
appointed soothsayers don robe
and turban and attempt to ac-
quaint more or less distinter-
ested clientele with facts, figures
and fooey.
The position of the moon, stars
and planets are taken into conSid-
Grafton. while sun spots are view
ed with or without alarm as these
sef-Styled wise men pretend to
inform the lesser intelligent.
Frank 7. Tracey, the Jackson
vile barber, who sank without
trace when results of the last
campaign proved his prognostica-
tions as wet as a liquor dealers
convention, has bobbed up again
and is issuing mythical odds and
maybe-so standings of the various
candidates, but it is doubtful if
gamblers who trusted his charts
and forms in the past will put
much stock in them again.
Candidates who find themselv-
es leading the batting average ac-
cording to Franks recording will
probably derive a great sense of
personal satisfaction from the fig
ureS, but viii do well to. remem-
Der that the ballots which really
count are not sent out from any
body's barber shop.
So far, as near as have been
able to figure out, nobody seems
to be very much concerned over
the situation but the boys who
are running. / find that Mr. and
Mrs. John Citizen would rather
discuss the price of turnips, last
nights bridge score, or Juniors
report card, than burden their
minds with political crossword
puzzles
Now and then among the lay
men you viii discover some guy
with a yen for analysis and sta
tistics who can add up a column
of loose talk, multiply it by here
say and subtract with a given
number of IFS and Butts and
arrive at a So-called answer, but
it is a lot simpler to put all the
names in a hat, close your eyes
and draw out one, and the result
is usually as satisfactory.
Before long our highways will
be cluttered up with sound trucks
and our public squares over-run
with orators; trees and fences will
be defaced with gruesome plac-
ards bearing the mug Of this or
that aspirant- Print shops will be
called upon to paw through cut
files for the larger Union Labels
designed to impress the sO-called
working man. Paid political ad-
vertisements win be featured in
newspapers, financed-so the
public IS informed-by loving
friends of so-and-so. Radio listen
ers will find their favorite pro-
grams temporarily discontinued
10 make way for long-winded po-
litical harangueS delivered with
much throat clearing. stammer-
ing. suffering. and occasional
pauSes for page turning as well
as station announcements.
Hands viii be shaken with gus
to and backs slapped with vigor-
Gus cordiality. Bull-necked, red
faced. aggressive candidates and
workers viii circulate wherever
two or three are gathered togeth-
CT. chuc<ing unreSponsive chill
dren under chins. tipping hats
and bowling 70 the ladies. greeting
old folk with charming smiles and
cheerful flattery.
What's wrong with the eoun-
try. viii be. explained in detail
and what eHght TO be done about
it outlined II glowing word pic
lures Charges and counter
charges Fl I'd fhrPrgh the air
good tire VIII be had BY all
> In&tea5 oT56tssg to figure Out
who : ggrsEe9hew many votes
what most Of Us would Ike q
have some smart guy tel Us i
which candidate win keep how
r--s~- r,-or-Sza=