The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1938-05-26
"NOONANISMS"
From the Baudette RegiOn)

it Matched a lot of mosquitoes for the
pick-neck season.
When you come back from your fish
ing trip don't brag about the big ones
that got away. The children will be-
lieve you but your wife won't.
There will be another epidemic next
month and it will carry off a lot of
girls.
Do you remember away back yonder,
when man was considered a sissy if
he smoked cigarette, and if girl
puffed one they called her hussy.
Cheer up, the recession is sure to end,
although we don't know when.
&%%
The Mayor of Quebec has 81 children
and it must make him vince to see 81
pork chops leaving the platter at one
time, says Happy Hubbard of Rainy
River.
About the only job the government
hasn't handed out is veterinary surgeon
on a merry-go-round.
When you shake hands with pencil
on election day be sure to mark your
ballot for candidates who are pledged to
cut down taxes.
Theatre owners say that Mae Vests
pictures are not drawing. Mae is big
bust.
Now several writer's are saying that
Benedict Arnold wasn't such bad guy
after all. If it hadn't been for his mill
tary ability we probably would still be
paying England tax on tea.
| $50
Life is queer. At a June wedding he
calls her slender. In few months he
will call her skinny.
| 49,
Tourists will be coming up soon to
find that bouquet of poison ivy is
nothing to fool with.
With the election time coming, many
a candidate will sprinkle hayseed in
his hair and carry pitchfork in his
auto to fool the farmers.
A fly lays more than a million eggs.
Maybe you'd better pass the news along
to your hens.
Some of the convicts the parole board
sets free are not bad lads outside of
committing an occasional murder and
robbing bank now and then.
A good way to prevent granite sales
men from calling on your relatives is
to cut out the speed.
The trouble with many candidates on
current issues is that they are like girls
going to beauty parlor. They don't
want to make themselves plain.
A friend of ours who is a Farmer
Labor candidate this year, used to be a
Republican, and before that he was a
Democrat. He is like a wandering
child. He is in a different place every
time you look for him.
You farmers are not becoming bow
legged Juggling your money to the bank,
but you are better off than the lads in
the city who are wearing out shoes
looking for jobs.
If you are candidate, don't feel
sorry for the poor fish running against
you just because few people slap you
on the back and tell you what a good
; guy you are. Maybe they are telling
the same thing to your opponent.
II $50
The lure of the open will have
, tourists in their grip pretty soon, and
they always come back to the friendly
towns. A smile is better than a grunt
. any time.
Go easy with the speed. It is poor
fun to wake up and find nurse taking
your temperature.
Several women are running for the
legislature, and there should be little
difficulty in choosing a Speaker of the
House from among them.
It's happy hemisphere for the kids.
A long vacation ahead and plenty of
health to enjoy it.
A cloud of insect powder shot into a
fly's face will render it quite deceased
And after a fly is dead it will not
bother you again.
A scientist says we can all live to be
100, but who wants to live to be 100
with taxes where they are.
HONOR OLE BULL