Evening star., 1938-02-16
Possessions
Earned by
Children
They Should Not
Be Taken Away
At Any Time.
BY ANGELO PATRI.

r OLLIN did such poor work this
term that he was not promoted
and I had told him that if that hap
pened he would not get his birthday
gifts. In our family the children have
been trained to remember birthdays,
and Of course they look forward to
them. was so provoked At his bad
work that made this threat, and now
what should I do? Is 1t right to de-
prive him of his birthday gifts?"
In my opinion, no. There are
things that we have no right to de-
prive children OF under any circum-
stances, and I believe birthday cele-
brations are among them A child
birthday ought to be his happiest day
Of the year. He should be the center
of the household for that one occasion
if on no other. He ought to have the
Joy of knowing that he is loved and
that he is welcomed by his family. A
little honor now and then Is 4 great
spiritual tonic to q child.
I would not deprive a child Of his
food. Not even desserts. Eating is
a necessary function Of daily life. It
is personal matter, so personal that
1t Is easy to link it up with emotions,
and that is most unwise If the emo
tions are in the least unpleasant.
Fear. grief and anger will make food
distasteful. even harmful Better let
1t be the matter of fact thing it is
and make eating the happiest period
of the day. Happiness promotes di-
gestion. increases appetite. makes eat
ing pleasant memory and delight
full habit. Nothing is so distressing
to family or to the victim as a
food fusser. Don't use food As q re-
ward nor as punishment. Don't de-
prive child Of his food under any
circumstances.
Play is another thing that IA sacred
to q child. Some folk think that re-
fusing child the privilege of some
special play pleasure is the best sort
Of punishment. Be careful.
A girl worked hard all school year
to win place on the tennis team.
The week before the final meet she
offended family discipline. and her
mother decreed that she could not
play in the meet. Her offense had
nothing to do with tennis. 1t was
another sort of thing altogether. That
was a mistake The girl resented 1t
bitterly and said her mother was
spiteful. That does harm and no
good whatever.
Taking away something that child
has earned Is wrong. It has become
part Of himself, because he gave part
Of himself to buy 1t. A boy who has
earned and saved the money to buy
q wheel owns that wheel, and nobody
ought to take 1t. Not even K he mis-
uses it. The time to object to the use
Of the wheel was before he got it.
After that all one can do Is to try to
advise. arrange things 20 that the
conditions will be better. Taking 1t
Is not to be considered unless there
Is some grave reason to which the
child himself gives full weight. He
must agree that It q wise to lock up
the wheel.
It Is right to deprive children OF
privileges that they abuse. II Z child
uses another's belongings and u care
less about their use and their return
1t is right to say, "You cannot use
my paints again until I tell you" II
child Is given permission to stay an
hour with . friend and stays four,
neslecting his own dinner hour. It 4
right to ray, "You are not to 80 to
Jimmy's house again without special
permission"
But don't deprive . child Of hi
birthday. his earned possessions, hi
earned and long-anticipAted delights
his food. A punishment ought to oe
accepted BY the child - just and
helpful. Otherwise. 1t y useless and
harmful to the cause.