Evening star., 1938-06-25
EAR MISS DIX: How much is
a modern mother justified in
curbing the activities OF a
l6.Year-Old Rirl2 Should she


curbing the activities OF a
l6-year-old girl? Should she
be allowed to run about freely in cars
with boys whom the parents scarcely
know? Should she have all her dates
outside the home with boys who are
strangers to her mother and father?.
Should she be allowed to stay out
until ! and o'clock with these boys?
Should she be allowed to drink out
side the home? am upon the
threshold Of my daughters high
school life. All about me l see girls
and boys running wild. doing as they
please, drinking. petting. necking,
night-riding. My whole heart cries
out against this. yet the Stay-at-home
girl seems a bit obsolete. What course
should take? Shall I stick out for
oldfashioned ways boys who come
to call and ring doorbells instead Of
footing an automobile horn for girl
to come out to them: home entertain
ing. safe and sane home fun and
run with the crowd and be modern?
ANXIOUS MOTHER.
Answer-1 should like to tell you to
stick to the old-fashioned method of
dealing with your daughter and to
have her spend her evenings at home
instead of joyriding with lads who may
be all right or all wrong for all you
know: to have her entertain her boy
friends in the back parlor instead of
going to roadhouses and for her and
the other girls and boys to spend
happy evenings popping corn or max
ing fudge or singing songs about the
piano.
But, alas. as Mr.. Cleveland observed
about another vital issue, lit is con-
dition and not a theory that con-
fronts us" and it is utterly impossi-
bic for you to enforce the standards
and customs of your day and mine
upon the modern generation. They
have their own. and it is a plain mat
ter OF fact that you cannot keep your
child from doing what all the other
children of her age are doing. You
can't even make her different from
them without doing her more harm
than would probably befall her If she
ran with the crowd.
IF YOU isolate her from her school,
mates, as you will do If you are
overstrict with her, you not only de-
prive her Of the pleasures Of youth, but
you virtually doom her to old-maiden-
hood, because when she is grown up
she will not belong to any set and she
will be branded as peculiar. She will
lack the free and easy comradery that
exists between modern boys and girls.
She will not have any technique OF
dealing with them. She will not even
speak their language nor have the
passwords into their circle, and she will
be disappointed and lonely girl And
she will be much more likely to fall in
love with the wrong boy than she
would If she had played about with
them and knew all their tricks and
manners.
Also, If you try to keep your daugh-
ter from doing what the other girls do,
she will be rebellious and angry with
you and feel that you are a tyrant.
She will withhold her condolences from
you, and the chances are that she will
lie to you and deceive you and do on
the sly the things that you forbid her
to do.
The problem of the mother with
16-year-old daughter nowadays is a
hard and heartbreaking one, but /
think the best she can do Is to string
along with the girl as far as possible
and compromise on as many issues as
she can. Generally, if children feel
that their parents are not being arbi-
trary and denying them things that
they might just as well have, they sub
NIT with not too bad a grace to . rea-
sonable amount of control.
\ X
CERTAINLY there is a wide differ
ence between letting a girl run
wild and giving her some personal lib
erty. 1t is one thing to let school,
girl nave dates during the school week
and another thing to deny her the
privilege OF having any dates at all
1 think the modern mother, instead
OF being shocked at everything her
modern daughter does, should accept
the truth that she cannot make her
girl conform to her pattern Of life and
that the best she can do Is to try to
teach her daughter how to take care
OF herself in her own way Of life.
She shouldn't lecture her about pet