Evening star., 1938-07-23
\ EAR MISS DIX: A certain
I young lady has been magma
] nimous enough to show me
that she loves me, and, al

EAR MISS DIX. "A certain
young lady has been magma
nimous enough to show me
that she loves me, and, al
though like her tremendously and
have a profound respect for her. I
do not love her. I have told her this,
but she wants to get married any
way. I am not in love with any one
else, never have been, and can't think
of any one I would rather have for
the mother of my children than her
But am in a quandary. Should I
marry this girl because she loves me
and wishes to, or would I be doing
her an irreparable harm by marrying
her without loving her? I am quite
convinced that marriage is funda-
mental and that it affords one a Vi
tally necessary objective as well as
a sense Of security, but life is such
long time to live with a woman whom
you merely like that am bit doubt
full and hesitant about trying it.
What do you think?
FRANK.
Answer-I think that love Is the
only thing that justifies marriage, the
only thing that makes it even toler-
able, and that any man or woman
who goes into IL for any other reason
whatsoever except feeling that he or
she cannot live without the party Of
the other part is simply counting dis
aSter.
For marriage requires so many sac
rifices. 1t calls for self-abnegation;
it crucifies many tastes; 1t demands
the change of so many habits; it brings
two people into such close compan-
ionship with each other that 1t takes
the miracle of love to gild it and
make 1t worthwhile and to turn all
of its drawbacks into pleasures.
A man gives up much when he
marries. He gives up his freedom.
No longer is he at liberty to roam,
to engage in firtations with pretty
girls, to spend evenings with his men
cronies. He must punch the home
timeclock. He must spend his even
ings at his own fireside. This is no
hardship to him If he loves his wife.
He does not crave the society of other
women If he thinks his wife the most
beautiful and attractive woman in
the world. He is content to 60 domes-
tic if he finds companionship and
entertainment at home.
** **
NIHEN q man marries virtually
w everything he makes goes to
the support of his family. He can no
longer spend his money on himself
and indulge himself in the many
luxuries he has enjoyed as bachelor.
Well and good if he loves his wife
enough to prefer dolling her up to
buying himself new golf clubs, but
a hardship that makes him core If
he regards her as merely q parasite
and begrudes every nickel he has
to spend upon her.
Many men are fiattered into marry
ing women they do not love by the
women's devotion to them, but it is
always q mistake for both parties.
It brings happiness to neither, because
the woman who is married to man
whom she knows doesn't love her
eats her heart out in bitterness and
wears herself out at the impossible
task of trying to light fire without
kindling. The woman who has no
allure for q man before marriage
has even less charm for him after
marriage.
Nor is the man happy in loveless
marriage. He is restless and dissatis-
fed because marriage hasn't brought
him what he desired. He compares
his wife invidiously with every at
tractive woman he meets, and possi-
bly, without knowing it or intending
it he is always seeking his mate. And
generally he finds her when 1t is toe
late to bring anything but tragedy
to him and his wife and the "otheI
woman" In these days when every
man is thrown in society and business
into close contact with young, clever
and pretty girls, he needs the protec-
ton Of his love for his wife TO keer
him from temptation, 80 It Is . ha1-
ardous thing for any man to marry