The Waterbury Democrat., 1938-06-09
CAST OF CHARACTER
CHAPTER xr

0ut Helen.
 CHAPTER XI
 There was . loneliness looming imminent and near, nonetheless This game, this little world oi Snake-believe, could not 90 on anc on. It must arrive somewhere and Joe was troubled to devise a des- tination. He was crowding the whole world out of Terry's life, who needed 60 badly to meet the whole world and have her own chance to gamble for happiness. He had finished g job, and Q good one; he should give way. He could hover near her still; he could be with her as he was with Irene, brotherly, part of the back ground that is a girls strength and that the world must reckon with al- ways in dealing with her.
 No, not brotherly exactly. He did not fool himself. He could let days go by without seeing Irene, and be none the worse. Terry had become habit, life-filling sort of habit, that would leave something of an emptiness. But there would be a release from responsibility, 8 free dom again. Joe thought of the road, the cities and towns of nation.
 He told Terry one night what was on his mind. He was dumbstruck by her reception of 1t. She was ter rified.
 "No; you won't do that, Joe" she said, grabbing at him and hold ing on and looking into his face with her big eyes. You won't go away and leave me?"
 T. don't mean to leave you ex- actly, honey" he said with some compunction. But this is going on and on. Where's it going to end?"
 T don't care"
 You've got to care"
 "Then I do care. You won't go. I can't let you go. Don't you un- derstand? Because love you"
 He looked at her. Then he laugh ed, shortly, embarrassed. That was certainly like her: to say a tre- mendous think like that in just that way. You don't know what love is, kid"
 T do. can't let you go"
 He tried to explain. It was a lit- tic difficult, in the face of her de- termination that she loved" him. Ho said that love was something different from their-well, affection. They liked each other lot, sure. But love was something that came along with rush and set you on fire so that you crackled and roared with the flaming of it.
 Don't you think I'm on fire2" she asked him. You kiss me once in while as If it were nothing, and rsver think what 1t does to me-"
 "What does it do to you?'
 What did 1t do to you t. when Helen kissed you?"
 He was silent, turning 1t over in his mind. Was she kidding him, kidding herself, or just what2 What could she possibly know about love? He had never made love to her, had never made himself out romantic sort of man, never tried to sweep her of her feet. They had been sane and friendly and pals.
 There was suddenly a whole new world of ideas intruding. He saw this child as woman suddenly, a grown woman with body and feel ings and a hunger and capacity for delight. It was disturbing. She had always been soft and cuddly kind of thing, insinuating herself into his arms, nudging with her head till 1t found place on his shoulder, taking his hand if 1t were unoccupied and placing it around her waist. She was such a lonely little one; those things seemed as natural and unaffected as a babys arms waving at you to be picked up.
 That's what she had always been: a baby. But now he wasn't so sure. He dropped the whole subject, be- cause it suddenly looked a little too big to handle.
 Terry did not drop 1t. She did not mention it, you could almost see her hugging it to her without ever letting it go: her fear of losing him, her insistence that she loved him, her going "on fire" when he kissed her. She did not mention it, but there it was, always there. She was such a complicated creature, artless and artful till you couldn't tell the difference between innocence and downright guile.
 It was no longer possible to kiss her casually, even to touch her casually. Joe had invited a baby to take shelter on his breast, and he now found 8 passionate woman in his arms. He was a man, after all. He could not put her from him, and he could not be close to her, with her "on fire" and only too willing that he be aware and that she pro yoke a similar conflagration he could not be close to her any more and forget that he was man and she woman.
 No, she did not mention this that was suddenly and appallingly be- tween them, but he could read her thoughts in her behavior. and she was trying in her simple, so obvious, and so disarming way, to make him flame to her in response .. to hold him with her soft, insinuating hands that could hold on for dear life when they wanted something very, very much. She who knew nothing at all of the world, was naively