davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Coolidge examiner., 1938-01-13
STAR
DUST
Movie r
XXX By VIRGINIA VALEtt

INSPIRED by the swarm
l. of locusts in "The Good
Earth" and the terrific storm
in Goldwyn's Hurricane"
several motion-picture pro-
ducers have set out to cap
ture high honors for staging
spectacles that make your
hair stand on end.
Advance reports indicate that
Twentieth Century-Fox have topped
all in the matter of spectacular de-
struction. This company in filming
In Old Chicago" staged a fire
that destroyed a sixty-acre city. In
the midst of stampeding cattle and
terror-stricken crowds. gas mains
burst and shoot pillars of flame high
into the air, oil gushes from tanks
and sets the river ablaze.
Before this cycle of horrors
catches up with our screens, we
The Coolidge examiner., 1938-01-13
More Jobs; Less Cost

In 1906 the infant automobile
industry provided jobs, directly
or indirectly for about 10000 peo-
pie and what today would be con-
sidered inferior cars, sold for
$4,000 and up. Advertising created
a demand that today provides jobs
for approximately 100000 peo-
pie, has resulted in radically i'm
proved cars and has reduced the
price to where one out Of each
five people in the nation can,
and does, own a car.
The Coolidge examiner., 1938-01-13
Historic
HOaxes
g
The Spider Farm
BY ELMO SCOTT WATSON
@ Western Newspaper Union.

d ALPH D. PAINE made name
IN for himself as a war corre-
spondent in the Spanisl-American
war and the Boxer uprising, but 1t S
more likely that his fame will en-
dure because of a hoax which he
perpetrated while he was reporter
for the Philadelphia Press in the
1690s. One day he turned in a story
about a certain Pierre Grantaire,
who lived out on the Lancaster pike
and was making a fortune by rals-
ing and selling spiders that were
trained to spin cobwebs over VINE
bottles, thus giving them the de-
sired appearance Of age.
According to his yarn, Mr.. Gran
taire sold thousands Of these trained
spiders every year, shipping them
to customers in little paper boxes,
so many dozen to every crate" " But
he always kept his queen spider,
named Sara Bernhard, who, when
he tapped on her filament, ran up
his finger for a fly, after which the
startling pet tripped back indoors
witt the booty" "Sara's" consort
was Emile Zola," fearsome spec
linen of the famed bird-huntnng
spiders of Surinam."
After the story was printed, hope
full investors began flooding the
Press office with letters asking for
NJ. Grantaire's address. More than
that, other papers began reprinting
the yarn under the head Of Sci
entifc Notes" and Nuggets OF
Fact" Years later this same yarn
kept bobbing up in different places.
AS recently as last year magazine
featured the story under the title of
Webs for Sale" and an anonymous
writer in the Atlantic Monthly S
Contributor Club" repeated the
hoary yarn, declaring that my
grandfather" kept the spider farm!
The Coolidge examiner., 1938-01-13
Death Warrant of a Witch

IF YOU are ever offered an oppor-
L tunity to buy the death warrant
of a Salem witch, an original docu-
ment-and a very rare item of early
New England. dated 1892" don't in
vest, no matter how much Of a
bargain" il is. Not even the fact
that it is "one of the few papers
containing the autograph of Indian
King Phillip and especially fine
autographs of Cotton Mather, In
crease Mather, John Winthrop and
Gov. William Phipps" should infiu-
ence your decision.
You see, the first John Winthrop
died in 1649, the second one died in
1876 and King Phillip was killed the
same year, which would have made
it difficult for them to be signing any
kind of document in 1892. Usually
there's a typewriter card with this
rare old document" saying that
it has been pronounced genuine by
the Massachusetts Historical soci-
ety. Cor it may be the South Caro-
lima Historical society, but that
doesn't mean a thing. except that
the not-so-clever forger who peddles
such documents (he's always hard
up and is willing to sacrifice his
precious possession to get enough
money to get back to his home in
Texas or Maine or California; re-
allies that many people are rather
vague in regard to dates in Amer
ican history. So he tries to cash in
on that ignorance.
The Coolidge examiner., 1938-01-13

should give thanks
to Carole Lombard
for providing US
with another COM
pletely loony com
edy, True Comics
sion" No one can
play a girl who
seems not quite
bright with the gus
to of the beauteouS
Lombard and in this
she has the perfect
role for her, that Of
a girl who just can
not tell the truth.
The Coolidge examiner., 1938-01-13
Yessir, We Have It
Hold Everything but
whats yours?"
GtTT -

whats yours?"
Ham sandwich"
''No got. Try a Sunset Spe-
cial?"
Whats that?"
"a triple decker with ham.
cheese, tongue, baloney, tomato,
lettuce, onion, pickle and mayon-
naise on raisin bread, toasted
with cole slaw on the side"
Nope. You've got ham. CAM
cha gimme a ham on white?"
"rn try. Oh, GEORGE One
Sunset Special. Make it on one
deck. Hold the cheese, tongue
baloney, tomato, lettuce, onion
pickle, mayonnaise, and cole
slaw, and make the raisin breac
white, untoasted Right?"
The Coolidge examiner., 1938-01-13
Relieve II IL Ynn Will

A pig is the only animal on the
farm that will not make hog of
himself when eating. No pig will
eat more than is good for hirn-he
will consume just enough, then stop,
according to one authority. A horse,
cow or sheep will eat until it be-
comes ll-or as the farmers say
gets foundered."
The Coolidge examiner., 1938-01-13

Europe, Weber is known as 1.-The
Toscanini of light music" Franz Le-
har, composer of THE Merry Wild
ow," said of him, Il cannot wish
for a better interpreter of my
works than Marek Weber"
-
ODDS AND ENDS-Jack Benny
tOOn'f start tUOrking on his merit pic.
ture for fe1U t0eekS, so Paramount
has assigned his old dressing room to
Marlene Dietrich. Jack and his radio
script i5TiterS are no end upset be.
cause that is uhere they do their best
toork Myrnd 10y encourages the
treckIes on her face by going about in
the sun hatLess. The treckles serue as
fine disguise when she appears in
public Ed,Card C. RobinsOn's netC
picture "The Last GangSter" is the best
gangster film OF all /. Glenn Morris
tohO stars in "TdrzGn'S Revenge" says
exactly four ,cords in The tehole pic.
ure Tony, the back-Stage boot.
black at the C. B. S. playhouse in NeU
York has his Ot0H tOGy Of hOnOring
Kate Smith. He keeps a special rag
in his left hip pocket toith iohich he
shines her shoes just before she goes
TO the mike BiHg Crosby Gnd
George Murphy entertained the shop
pers in a Hollywood store no end
tOhen George decided to play floor.
paIker and Bing decided to sell hand.
kerchiefs. When customers baked,
Biug three in song.
G Western Newspaper Union.
The Coolidge examiner., 1938-01-13

direction of the Car
nation ''Contented
Hour this month,
succeeds DR.. Frank
Black, whose duties
as general musical
director of NBC
forced him to relin-
quiSh the baton.
With Weber's debut
as conductor, The
Contented Hour"
enters upon its sew
e n t h consecutive
wear on the air In
The Coolidge examiner., 1938-01-13

Radio programs that introduce
you to your neighbors, both famous
and obscure, and act as community
get-togethers are getting more pop
ular every day. Charles Martins
Front Page News" and Thrill Of
the Week" have been renewed for
= year. Edgar Guests 1T Can Be
Done" Bob Ripley's program and
Gabriel Heaters I'VE, the People"
are slated for long and successful
life. Paul Wings Sunday morning
spelling bee over NBC has a list of
applications yards long from peo-
pie who are eager to test their
prowess.
The Coolidge examiner., 1938-01-13

DIR. Pierce's Favorite Prescription is
tonic which has been helping women
of all ages for nearly 20 years. Adv.
The Coolidge examiner., 1938-01-13

Consider Your Strength
Consider well what your
strength is equal to, and what eX-
ceeds ability. Horace.
The Coolidge examiner., 1938-01-13

Marek Weber, distinguished Wen
nese orchestra leader beginning his
The Coolidge examiner., 1938-01-13

Jean Muir was a very unhappy
girl when she left Hollywood a few
weeks ago. For the three years or
so that she was under contract to
Warner Brothers she had been
pleading for good role in one of
their big pictures, but they relegat-
ed her to dull parts in quickly
made, run-Of-the-mill films. Now
Jean can rejoice that Hollywood let
her go. She opened in play in Lon
don and two talent scouts cabled
Hollywood that she was the big find
of the year. She will probably come
back with a contract calling for a
much bigger salary,
The Coolidge examiner., 1938-01-13

The most important member of
Benny Goodman's swing band is a
woman, and she doesn't play an in
Strument. She holds the checkbook.
So while you won't see her with
the boys in Hollywood HoteP' you
can just figure that she is there in
spirit. She is Ethel Goodman, eld-
er sister of Benny, and in the year
that she has been with the band
she has not only kept all accounts
straight, she has mothered the boys,
taking care of them when they were
i'll, bullying them when they wouldn't t
eat their spinach or get enough
sleep, sympathizing with them when
they were unhappy.
The Coolidge examiner., 1938-01-13

Before this cycle of horrors
catches up with our screens, we
The Coolidge examiner., 1938-01-13
Improved l SUNDAY
Uniform oo-0o
-:-LESSON = =
BY REV. HAROLD L. LUNDQUIST.
Dean of the Moody Bible Institute
of Chicago.
g Western Newspaper Union.
Lesson for January Is
BEGINNING A LIFE OF SERVICE
LESSON TEXT-Mark 1:14-28.

LESSON TEXT-Mark 1:14-28.
GOLDEN TEXT-The time is fulfilled.
and the kingdom of God is at hand:
repent ye. and believe the gospel.-Mark
1:15.
PRIMARY TOPIC-Jesus' First Help
eTS.
JUNIOR TOPIC-Why the Fishermen
Followed Jesus.
INTERMEDIATE AND SENIOR TOP
Deserving Now.
YOUNG PEOPLE AND ADULT TOP
IC-Adjusting Life to Service.
The Washington times., 1938-01-11

healthy human beings today re.
gard a cole as their legitimate
right. Just try and stop giving
it to them!
THE DARKEST HOUR IN
OUR AMERICAN HISTORY
WAS THAT WHEN WE RE-
MOVED THE CONTEMPT
FROM THE WORD CHAR
ITY" AND GAVE 1T SOCIAL
AND POLITICAL SANCTION.
Organized relief started in a
time of pressing urgency and
was, undoubtedly, a noble and
necessary measure. But it has
become the most dangerous &C
tivity in our program, and it is
striking at the very roots Of
democracy. Charity is as de-
moralizing for the one who
GIVES as the one who GETS.
OF the first, it makes a little
Tin God, filled with patronizing
complacency Of the other,
a Professional Parasite, a Po-
tential Revolutionist, envious,
self-pitying and resentful
all set to bite the hand that
feeds it.
Admitted, there are always
extreme cases which need as
sistance. And for those sturdy
citizens who, through no fault
of their own, are forced to seek
help, there should be only sim
cere sympathy and respect. But
this idea of replacing the ma
tional backbone with a WPA
order is a device of the devil. .
and is raising Cain with every
decent American standard.
BETWEEN THE ARMY OF
THOSE WHO DEMAND RE-
LIEF AND THOSE WHO DIS
PENsE 1T, THE ORDINARY
TAXPAYING CITIZEN IS Be
ING GROUND TO DOG MEAT.
False pride" e"-says you.
Don't worry, Brother Jones.
Well soon have to search the
museums to find any kind Of
pride, If the present Santa
Claus regime continues.
The Washington times., 1938-01-11

TO TAKE CHARITY!
False pride like that is 6
menace" says Ernest. why
I've known men with families
who actually refused to accept
a WPA job because it hurt their
pride AS a result, their families
suffer terribly. l also know peo'
pie who refuse to go to the Old
Folks Home for the same season
and as a consequence spend
their last years in misery.
us SUCH FALSE PRIDE
HONORABLE? SHOULD WE
HONOR ANY MAN WHO LET'S
HIS FAMILY SUFF e r
RATHER THAN GO ON RE-
LIEF, OR SHOULD WE RE-
GARD THEM WITH THE CON-
TEMPT THEY OBSERVER"
It's plainly evident that Ern-
est expects a Big Hand for his
sentiments and a Bronx
cheer for those queer customers
who refuse to patronize Relief
Headquarters. But you can
count me out, brother! Far from
condemning citizens for their
false pride" I believe they
should be awarded brass bands
and congressional medals.
Time was when charity was
the most dreaded and detested
term in our tongue. Nor so long
since! We who are over 80 can
easily remember when the per.
son who accepted public aid,
save in direSt extremity, was
regarded as a social outcast.
Other breeds might take aims
and gloat at the chance-but
not the American.
WE YANKEES STOOD ON
OUR OWN HIND LEGS! If we
accepted help, 1t was a guarded
family secret a neighbor-
hood trust which friendly folk
kept hidden out Of compassion.
But now? Now that independ-
ent attitude seems as remote
and ridiculous as goatees and
bustles. Millions of perfectly
The Washington times., 1938-01-11

10 persons are employed. Seven
of them buy tickets on the Irish
Sweepstakes.
This plan, which already has
been proposed in Congress. may
seem shocking at first. But re-
member, also, that the repeal OF
prohibition seemed shocking
when firsG proposed. Now that
that's history, what's the result?
More persons employed. More
funds coming into the United
States Treasury that was for
merly going to bootleggers and
foreign countries. And last. but
not least, our law-enforcing Off
GERS are enabled to devote more
time to real criminal activities.
This legislation would have al
most the exact same effect on
our country as the repeal Of pro
hibition has shown, as far as re-
ducing unemployment and bring
ing in more money to the United
States Treasury is concerned.
"It will break down the morale
of our people" will be the cry
from far and wide as soon as
such legislation begins to make
any headway in Congress.
It is just another parallel case
with prohibition. We have lot
teries, anyhow-why not make
it legal and reap the rewards for
our own taxpayers instead of
giving it to gangsterS and for
eign countries? What saps Ire
lands lottery operators must
think we are every year when
we pour millions in their sweep
stakes.
Legalize lotteries on both a
small-fee and large-fee scale, and
watch the foreign lotteries stop
The Washington times., 1938-01-11

think he is marrying a moron.
It will be too much Of a shock
to him after the wedding to
wake up and find himself tied
to a human being.
If a man and a woman speak
the same language" they don't
have to make character" for
each other or "hold onto" each
other. If they are not on the
same wire, they had better each
call another number!
If you are a mans TYPE, he
will fall in love with you, no
matter what you say, or what
you do, or how you look. And
he will love you just as much
in your old house pajamas with
your nose all shiny as when you
have just stepped out Of a
beauty parlor.
X X X
A mans love is like blue eyes
or a sense Of humor. If you
have it, you HAVE it-and
nothing can take it away from
you. And If you haven't got it,
there's no way on earth that
you can win" it.
X X
When women grasp this
simple fact, the trade in lip
sticks may fall off, but love and
marriage will get a SQUARE
DEAL!
Copyright. 1898, by King Features
Syndicate, Inc.)
The Washington times., 1938-01-11

proof love.
I don't mean that any modern
girl expects or really wants a
revival Of old-fashioned romance
and sentiment. They are as
useless as last years bird nest
and would set just as un-
naturally on a girl as the foolish
half portion, half-witted hats
that are all the rage!
But Love, as a racket or a
game" went into the discard
when marriage ceased to be q
get-rich-quick scheme and hus-
bands ceased to be a financial
necessity.
The average girl is weary of
being told how to capture" a
man, how to "get" a husband,
how to make" a boy-friend and
how to "win" a mans heart.
Above all, she is getting tired
Of being told how to hold a
mans love-" She doesn't want
the kind Of love that has to be
locked away in a safety vault
or kept in a thermos bottle.
And she's not going to work
overtime to keep a weak love
alive by artificial stimulation!
This business of putting on a
show in order to hold a mans
interest or to catch his fancy
is as moth-eaten as grand
mothers rag-bag and as mid.
Victorian as an conch-shell on
a mantlepiece.
y 4 y
A girl is much too busy these
days to bother with a man who
has to be played up to-" blind
folded or bainboozled like a
naughty 6-year-old boy.
X 4
No modern girl can see why
she should feed a man apple
sauce, keep all her real opinions
and sentiments in mothballs
or let him bore her to death
talking about himself all eve
ming, just in order to make hin
The Washington times., 1938-01-11
Would Legalize Lottery

Unemployment and the ma.
tional deficit seems to be two of
the most important issues con-
fronting this country today.
Yesterday I witnessed a scene
that again brought to my atten-
tion proposed legislation that
would materially benefit Amer
lea in reducing the ranks Of the
unemployed and at the same
time pour more money into the
Treasury. The scene - you've
probably seen it, too: In walks a
young man into an office where
The Washington times., 1938-01-11
cred Herring''

Mariner Eccles, governor Of
the Federal Reserve Board,
must have a poor opinion of
Congress If he thinks they will
swallow his red herring about
the soldiers bonus being respon-
Sible for bureaucratic maladmin-
istration.
He will be telling us next
that the 25o,0oO unemployed
veterans are the owners of the
20 billions of bonds represent
ing the recent unpaid debts.
Then, we can expect him to
tell us that the owners of the
tax-exempt bonds pay taxes on
them and that no sales or in.
direct taxes are paid by the TO-.
100000 unemployed.
JOHN BOWEs.
The Washington times., 1938-01-11
He's Annoyed, Too

Fine editorial" in The Times,
1--WE Are Annoyed With the Post
office Department"
How many others are being
annoyed by this same gang Of
jobholders, who are interfering,
intercepting, rifling and tamper-
ing with the U. S. mail?
Fourteen years ago, Herbert
Asbury wrote an article for H.
L. Mencken's American Mecury,
titled "Hat Rack" It was about
a young woman riding in
freight cars and would compare
favorably with the famous
Scottsboro case.
The Post Office officials
barred the Mercury from the
mails, Mencken went out on the
streets of Boston and sold the
magazine and was arrested,
taken before the judge. the case
was dismissed, the judge COM
menting: "I have read worse
stuff in the newspapers and
other magazines"
From personal experience, I
can state that we have here in
Washington the finest assort-
ment Of ignorant, incompetent,
insignificant, imaginary inspec-
tors that annoy and harass law.
abiding taxpayers, who are the
backbone Of the post office job
holders and PAP, misnamed
pay.
When H. L. Mencken wrote
post Office Jobholders and
Their Idiotic Superiors" for the
Baltimore Evening Sun, the
swivel-chair sleuths did not bar
the Evening Sun from the U. s.
mails. Why?
You have the answer in your
lily-white mitt.
BERNARD J. LAWLOR.
The Washington times., 1938-01-11
Yect1Nclz<zzeA o.
People
BY :: Romer

THOMAS A. EDISON
LIS peculiar abruPtness
IL is said to have cost
him over a million dollars.
A worker asked him to
look at a eoose-neck
diaphragm he had made.
Edison told him to take
the fool contrivance and
clear out. That goose-neck
diaphragm so improved
the reproduction Of pho
noeraPh sound it made
the dismissed man a for
tune.
Copyright. 1888. BY F. ROmsr.
The Washington times., 1938-01-11

as long as I
have, one is
bound to run
into a person
/ n t e r esting
e n o u g h to
date. That's
h o W I m e t
my husband.
I waited on
h i'm enough
to know that
he was a nice
fellow before
The Washington times., 1938-01-11

g o cd policy.
AS a matter
of fact, I have
never waited
on a m a n
that impress
ed me enough
for me to &C
cept going out
with h i m,
and S e v e raj
times custom
ers tried to
tempt me by
The Washington times., 1938-01-11

course, being
m a rried I've
n e v er dated
another C u s.
toner, but it
would be an
easy thing to
do. Men make
p ! e n t y of
passes at the
Mattresses, es-
D e ially if
they have had
a few drinks
The Washington times., 1938-01-11

b e c a use the
date I made
turned out to
be a particu-
larly nice one
with a par
ticularly nice
G e n t ! en1an.
The result of
it was that
we &c a m e
great friends
and I W e n t
with him for
The Washington times., 1938-01-11

offering large tips. I don't think
I shall ever go out with a Gus
toner. It's too much like a
pickup"
X \ 4
Mrs. Ann Manuel, 1908 I st.
N. W.:
Sure. After being a waitress
The Washington times., 1938-01-11
WORLD!
By Elsie Robinson

IS 1T DIsGRACEFUL TO ACCEPT CHARITY?
ERNEST BASTIC JONES, age 25, of 1910 Ashland
GAvenue, Baltimore, Maryland, thinks there oughtta
be law
No, don't laugh! 1t isn't gag
A LAW ABOUT PEOPLE WHO ARE ASHAMED
The Washington times., 1938-01-11

toner, but I
broke it. 1
get a special
kick out Of
seeing jus t
how far I can
lead the Gus
toners, but I
do not care
to go out with
them. I think
I understand
m e n W ell
n ou gh to
would not be
The Washington times., 1938-01-11
Likes Editorials

Great Britain and Russia are
striving desperately to promote
a war between the United States
and Japan. Your common sense
American editorials are doing
much to prevent such a war.
Continued success for 1881
WORKER.
The Washington times., 1938-01-11

I ever decided to go out with
him. with the result that we
later were married. If I were
single, I'd probably accept other
dates"
~ Il
Mrs. Mildred Hodge. 1403
Rhode Island Ave. N. W.:
IT made a date with a Gus
The Washington times., 1938-01-11
"Camarada"

GGNAAIARADA" is Spanish for ''comrade." yell
~ of "Comrade" in any language is one way of
signifving that you don't want to fight any more and
are willing to arrange a peaceable surrender. The
Germans popuarzed the ceremony in the closing con-
cJo vuIsions of the World War; their word
for it being "Kamerad'
Al IFue' To those who sympathize with the
poor. wretched people Of Spain, who will lose and
nav for the civil war no matter whether the Reds or
the Fascsts win, the of the Fascist garrlson's
peaceable surrender at Terue must be welcome news.
This. though Gen. Queipo de Llano General FRANCOIS
radio mouthpiece instantly shouted into his ever
ready mike that Lieut. Col. Rey d'Harcourt would be
given what for by the Fasciss for arranging the sur
render if the Fascists ever caught him.
D'Harcourt saved the lives of some 5000 soldiers
and civilians by this surrender and that is what mat
ers The mass butcleries with which both sides be-
gan the war seem to be petering out-and the Bishop
Of Teruel among the 5000 surrendered to the Reds,
is repored to have said that the Reds showing
him kindness.
The Duke of Berwick and Alba Francois British
educated agent in London says Franco has about 49,
900 Italian troops and 5000 German techncians but
that Francois armies number 100000. Those $4,000
"vounteers" won't be able to keep the war going If
the Spanish fighters both sides get tired of the war.
With Spaniards in increasing numbers yelling "Cam-
arada!" at one another, it looks to if this war
is nearing its end. We earnestly hope so.
The Washington times., 1938-01-11
The Inquiring
Photographer
The Washington Times In
vites you to submit timely
and interesting questions to
be used in this column.
THE QUESTION

AS a waitress, have you ever
made a date with a customer,
and if so, what was the result?
THE ANSWERS
Mrs. Margaret Schul, 1431 N
st. N. W.:
Eyes, and I married him. Of
The Washington times., 1938-01-11

three years, until we decided to
call it quits. Although I've had
lots of chances for other dates,
I never accepted another"
Miss Mildred Hale, 744 Sixth
St. N. W.:
mo. feel that it is not a
The Washington times., 1938-01-11
Wise Words

A word or nod from a good
man is worth more than a
thousand arguments from
others.-Plutarch.
To forgive much makes the
powerful more powerful.-Pub-
ILLUS SyruS.