Evening star., 1938-03-21

Group of
Children
ScOld the Bad Ones
But Don't Drag in
The Innocent.
Photo Posed by Joan Fontaine.
BY ANGELO PATRI,

DID you ever stop to think how
much trouble We parents and
teachers make for ourselves by scold-
ing perfectly good children for the
wrong-doing Of others?
On the way home from school in
the afternoon two boys begin throw
ing stones. A stone goes through the
window of a nearby house. The angry
owner telephones the school principal
and asks him, if he cannot manage to
teach the children that go to his school
to respect property. Or Is he lust
training q group of young hoodlums
for the destruction OF the town gen.
orally?
Next morning in assembly, after
the singing Of the hymn, the princi-
pal rises solemnly and announces.
Yesterday afternoon two boys of this
school disgraced its good name"
and for IS minutes lectures the whole
assembly on the wickedness OF de-
struction Of property. The 572 law
abiding young citizens have to sit
there and listen, knowing that this
lecture is going to cost them the
musical program, or the play. that
was scheduled. They resent the whole
thing bitterly. They are bored stiff
and stupid. and it takes the teachers
an hour to get them into a frame CT
mind where work Is possible.
At home the same thing happens.
One of the children does something
annoying or mischievous. Father or
mother. maybe both. talk about the
evil deed throughout the meal ana
keep grumbling about it for the rest
Of the evening. The fact that the
other children had nothing to do with
1t does not seem to mean anything TO
them. The children are miserable and
resentful. Why talk to them when it
was Henry who did it?
General seedlings are an imposition
on all who have to endure them. 1t
is right that the wicked be brought to
justice, but why drag along the in
nocent as well? Why deprive them of
the joy Of an hour in assembly or
class or at the table? 1t does them no
SOVdy hA0 VIC 6uAlCy OKICS uSS t1lClE
companions as moral umbrellas. Their
individual guilt has been diluted by
the deluge that drowned the whole
group. They can take lightly what all
must share.
Keep bad deeds private. Call the
culprits into conference; say all you
have to say in their ears. Punish
them II need be. To emphasize the
right side of the wrong idea speak In
praise Of the good deeds done by the
other. They have broken no windows,
stolen no apples, stoned no cats. Tell
them that you are very pleased by
their good behavior. You have heard
that there are some, who do wrong,
but you are delighted to know that
they are doing well. Praise good deeds
publicly. but keep the screen Of pri-
vacy between the wrong -doers and the
public.
The great body Of children and
youth are well behaved. The number
who misbehave are few in comparison.
Public opinion among the school chill
dren invariably supports the right.
If, however, the wrong action Is spread
over the whole group, If their ears
are stunned by loud seedlings for
which there IS no excuse, public ocin-
ion Is, to say the least, not strongly
on the side Of the authority who has
let his wrath run away with his
reason.
Mr.. Patri has prepared leaflet
entitled Changing Habits" in which
he tells parents how to overcome q
child's unpleasant habits. Send for T..
addressing your request to Angelo
Patri. Child Psychology Department
of this paper. Ineloss o self addressed,
stamped (s.csut3 envelope.