Evening star., 1938-04-09
YANK KTESTSLUNCS
PUTTING DEFIANCE
Says He Might as Well Cut
Throat as Take $25,OOO.
Either O. K. to Jake.
BY JOHN LARDNER.

BY JOHN LARDNER.
NEW YORK, April 9-Blow-by-
blow description of the days events in
the Ruppert-Di Maggie struggle for
possession of the Bronx:
Round Joe Di Maggie got out of
bed at 10 am. to close the window.
Col. Jake Rupert watched this move
carefully, but did not retaliate.
Round 2-Di Maggie was back in
the hay at 1901, slow time for the
distance. He went into a defiant sleep.
Rupert looked for an opening. He
found one (the door to his office) and
closed it.
Round 3-Joe continued to breathe
defiance. After % years of breathing
nothing but air, the change seemed to
bother him. and he shifted uneasily
from lung to lung. Rupert looked
Tor another opening. He found one
in bottle Of his own beer. lust be-
meath the cap 1t was Jakes round
Round 4-Di Maggie announced
that he would not get out of bed for
less than $500.
Round 5-Joe got out of bed. but
refused to brush his teeth for a dime
less than $3.50.
AT that figure" he explained, "I
am Just about breaking even"
Rupert Goes Into Dudgeon.
Round 6-Ruppert went into high
dudgeon, leaving word that he would
be back In an hour.
Round Jake still was in his
dudgeon as the round opened. He
seemed pretty sore, and his friends
reared that he was about to take
umbrage.
"One of these days the colonel will
take more umbrage than is good for
him. said spokesman He is not
as young as he used to be"
Round 8-Di Maggie shuffled around
the ring. He looked cool, but then.
1t was pretty cold everywhere. with
prevailing northeast winds and a
wedge shaped depression over Nova
Scotia. Joe said this wedge shaped
depression was nothing compared with
his own.
I might as we'll cut my throat as
sign for s25,000," he said.
Col. Rupert announced that either
course was satisfactory to him.
Round 9-Joe began to mend his
brothers fishing net. muttering knit
three, drop one, and hit to left" He
dld not seem to be worried. Pressed
Tor a statement, he said:
I'm not worried"
1t was Joe's round.
Red Carpet in Place.
Round 10-The colonel got ready to
put his foot down. An open space was
cleared around his desk, and somebody
sent out for strip of red carpet.
Jake can put his foot down on a
dime" said spokesman, but we've
got room here, and we might as well
use It,"
The colonel was wearing a brown
Scotch-grained brogan with a wing
tip. Experts, studying the condition of
the field. concluded that he probably
would come down with his left foot
holding the right in reserve.
Round 11-"Why doesn't he ask me
Tor my brewery, while he's at it?" said
Col. Rupert.
Joe, after giving this proposition
considerable thought, requested more
details.
Does that include the stock on
hand" he asked, "or just the building,
machinery and good will?"
1t was hard round. The customers
were firing fast.
Round 12-Di Maggie announced
that he found himself unable to sign
the Yankee contract. He said this had
nothing to do with his early education.
Il can write as well as the next
man." he said.
Next Man" Under Arrest.
The next man was promptly inter-
viewed, searched for concealed weapons
and booked on charge of disturbing
the peace. He gave his name as Julius
j Chalmers, shoe polish salesman of
Wllkes-Barre, Pa, and said it was his
f1rst of1ense. Col. Rupert, informed
OF this development, refused to commit
himself.
1T might be a trick" he said.
Round 13-Jake announced that his
top offer was $4,000.
DO you think Di Maggie is a great
Dali player?" interviewers asked him.
"Who?" said Col. Rupert.
Round 14-Di Maggie said he was
willing to accept $4,000 or even
$4,000.
I want to be reasonable about this
thing" he said. Why split hairs?"
Round 15-Matters reached an i'm
passe at 5:45 pm, and the referee
called 1t draw. The decision was re-
ceived in silence, the spectators having
walked oI1t OF 2.ds e