Askov American. [volume] (Askov, Pine County, Minn.) 1914-current, 1938-09-29
| Would Say
BY A. w. CONAWAY

That European baseball game which
l told you about last week has taken
different angle with some pinch
hitters coming up. AT this point even
though Hitler has two out austria
and the Saar) it is apparent he is
weakening, as any good pitcher will
do when bearing down too hard. We
saw him and England's Chamberlain
meeting in front of the batter's box,
but evidently the catcher crossed up
the pitcher as he called for passed
ball to the batter.
Now we find Mr.. Pitcher Hitler in
the we'll known baseball hole" He
has men on base and strong batters,
with whiskers PRUSSIA to you) COM
ing to the plate That situation rath-
er embarrasses Mr.. Pitcher for he
had apparently not expected that the
House of David batters would enlist
against him. Everyone knows their
proves at the plate.
However, not to be outdone, the
pitcher now employs the role used by
our own great Dizzy Dean to much
success; that of broadcasting. Yep,
l just heard him tell the world what
a great 81" man he is. Well, Dizzy
Dean has always managed to back
up what he had to say but the ex-
perts say there is only one "DizZy
Dean"
You know, 1 listened to most of
Pitcher Hitler's speech and I'll be
doggone if 1 don't believe that fell
low will be the happiest man on earth
when cannons rattle to the right of
him and cannons rattle to the left of
him as he charges the six hundred"
Why, if we had his kind of war
frenzied setup over here, and we
might have, we would feel like fight
ing our next door neighbor.
Folks, friend of mine and of this
column, residing at Sturgeon Lake,
sent in clipping containing defini-
tons of six stages of drunkenness.
They are: Cd Dry and decent. (2)
Delighted and devilish. 60 Delin-
quent and disgusting. az Dizzy and
delirious. 50 Dazed and detected.
(6) Dead drunk. 1 would add as a
seventh just plain d-e-a-d, if a person
in any of the last five stages were to
frequently drive an auto.
The reason why it is so difficult to
get the rank and file of our American
people war minded is that they are
thinking too much of industry and
progress to be preying on their fell
lowmen with bayonet and bullet. A
story about a little American boy in
a history class best illustrates what
I mean: The teacher of the class was
very proud of her pupils because they
were so well prepared. She asked,
"who was the greatest general in
France?" A boyish voice drawled,
General Foch." "That's right" said
the teacher. "Now name a German
general" General Hindenberg," an
swered the voice. every good Now
who was the American general you all
know" There was silence and then
the same voice asked: ''Is it General
Motors or General Electric?"
Gosh, such ignorance would be pro-
vocation enough for the well known
ruler punishment over in Hitler or
Mussolini-land.
When one thinks of going elsewhere
to better place where they do things
better or have better climatic condi-
tons, all he needs do is to look around
home a little. Doggone it, thought
we had a record one issue recently
when we published an item about a
fellow at Ortonville having three to-
matoes measuring 1917 and 1874
inches around. Now, is my face red
when 1 find that our little lady cor
respondent near Markville, Mrs. Joe
Chatelle, writes that she has just
completed the raising of four toma-
toes measuring Is and II inches.
Why, goodness sakes, those toma-
toes recorded out there in the west
ern part of the state are about the
size of ours when they are set out
in the spring.
You know, dear readers, I'll take
my hat off to a weekly newspaper
who dared come out one week re-
Gently with first place editorial stat
ing in no uncertain terms that it
is Republican newspaper. I don't
mean that I will take my hat off to
it for being a Republican, but rather
because it admits the fact. You know