Evening star., 1937-08-24
Returning
Kindness
To Child
Visitors Must Observe
Certain COurtesies
to Hostess.
BY EMILY POST.

DEAR MRS. POST: My son has
been invited again this Summer
to spend two weeks at the Summer
cottage Of his school friend have
never met this family. as they movs
IN an entirely different social circle,
But they are always so good To nv
boy and always make his vacations
so happy. In fact, otherwise he would
have none. as We can't let our chill.
dren 60 of spending money on holi-
days. These invitations go on and
on and we have never returned anv
OF them because we felt that there
was nothing we could do. Perhaps
there is something my boy could take
for the other mother or something
that could do, even though a
stranger to her? NV innate wish
has always been to know what to do
| to show her how much her kindness
| means to me.
AnsWer-1t is plain that if these
friends Of your son were not really
fond OF him, and if his visit did not
really give their son tas we'll as them
selves pleasure, they would not 50
| regularly continue to invite him. A
note OF appreciation from you to
the other mother" would, of course
be very welcome, since it would give
her pleasure to know that your bov
really enjoys staying with her. ANY,
thing further than this is really not
necessary-in fact present OF anv
| value would, l am sure embarrass
her very much If, as am supposinc,
she is in far better financial cir
cumstances than you.
nEAR MRS. POST: Earlier In the
Summer stopped over with
friend for few days before con-
| tlnuing my journey East across the
| country. I have meant to send her
little present ever since, but either
can't find any stores when have
time. or I haven't time TO look for
anything. She never answered the
note I sent her the week following
my visit and I'm wondering if I
have seemed unappreciative in not
sending present. Is it too late to
get one of to her now?
Answer-While every visitor must
write note OF thanks, known as
bread and butter letter, to 4 hostess
with whom she has been STAYING, no
hostess is expected to answer a letter
OF thanks, ever. 1t is not necessary
n
after visit, but there is no reason
why you should not send one il YOU
want to.
YEAR MRS. POST: am going
abroad shortly and staying for
several weeks in a town in which
ne1ghbors OF mine have relatives.
These people insist that I must look
up their relatives. which would, of
course. be ideal from my point of
view But wouldn't looking them up"
be tantamount to making them OBJ
llgated to do something for me? II
not, just how should I 20 about
making myself known?
Answer-Properly, your neighbors
sHoulo give you very short note
perhaps merely a message on their
visiting card-whch announces your
arrival in their community. In ad-
dltion to this they should write a
letter to their relatives telling them
about you and that you will be ar
irving a approximately such and such
time In their neighborhood. Then
when you arrive, you mail the short
| note and give the address where vou
are staying. The only objection to a
letter OF introduction is that it reallv
obligates those who receive it to
show what hospitality they can. II,
on the other hand, they write no
message and give you no letter of
introduction, you are put in the very
| uncomfortable position OF having. as
1t were, to force yourself upon
strangers. Sometimes with certain
people this may be quite all right,
but at other times it may not.
(Copyrisht 1872