Evening star., 1937-09-15
Giving the
Shy Child
Courag &c
Plenty of Praise Will
Help Him to Gain
Confidence.
BY ANGELO PATRI.

THE shy child suffers untold agony
and gets mighty little help from
anybody. Speak right up. What's
the matter with you?" says the
teacher sharply. Louder. Go to the
back Of the room and make yourself
heard"
Father and mother look sternly over
their spectacles and say, Whats
this? Poor in oral recitation? Why
can't you speak up? You can shout
loud enough when you are playing
with your sister, can't you? You just
make an effort now, and see that you
don't get that note on your card
again." And what good will that do?
I don't know why children are shy.
1t may be that they have had some un-
pleasant experiences; it may be that
they fear to fail in the presence of
others; 1t may be that they have too
sensitive nervous organization. but that
conveys no notion of the cure. l sus-
pect that many Of the shy children
were born that way and that the best
we can hope to do for them is to train
them to courage and confidence as best
we may.
You cannot educate child to cour-
age by talking about it. Nor bv
punishment. Nor by any other means
that puts pressure upon q mind al
ready overburdened. The only thing
possible is to put the child In such re-
lationship to yourself, later TO others,
as will allow him-allow him, not
make him-have confidence in you
and, therefore, in his ability to do what
you would like him to do.
Be very gentle; be honestly friendly.
You cannot cover up irritation, I'M
patience and anger and hope to have
the shy child trust you and lean on
you for courage He feels what you
think when you think it, and acts ac-
cordingly. Think affection, helpful
ness and courage. Then, keeping the
child close to you. letting him touch
you, hold your hand If need be, get
him to try to do the thing he ought TO
do That goes for class recitations.
home duties, everything. Act so as
to instill courage and confidence in the
shy child and in time he will reflect
them.
Experience with shy children tells
us few things about them that
might help teachers and parents in
dealing with them. They often need
better nourishment than their diet,
however correct, is giving them Often
they have defects of vision or hearing
or both. They shrink from harshness
OF any sort and thrive under praise
and under the stimulation Of success.
They are helped by knowing ex-
actly what they are expected to do
| ahead OF time. For example, we helped
cure shy child Of fear to read aloud
In class by telling him the day before
| the exact paragraph he would be asked
to read and sticking closely to the
bargain. Following an exact pro-
gram helps the shy child. Doing the
same thing the same way day after
day gives him feeling of certainty
and confidence follows certainty.
| Carrying something In his hand
helps him. Taking something TO deliver
when doing an errand helps. A note,
a bundle, without message, is the
way TO start. Allowing him to hand
refreshments to guests rather than
forcing him TO meet them formally is
one way of getting him over a hard
place. Encouragement piled high is
the best stimulant.
| Mr.. Patri will give personal atten-
tion to inquiries from parents and
school teachers on the care and de-
velopment OF children. Write him In
care Of this paper. tnclosing . Scent
stamped, sslf.addfeased euvslops 1o9
! Sepay.