Evening star., 1937-11-08
Testing Foods for Flavor and Job Sounds
Adjustment
Necessary
For Child
Visiting Daughter
And Family Must
Think of Others.
By ANGELO PATRI.

IT HAPPENS frequently these days
that a daughter, and sometimes
her husband, with their children, re-
turn to the parental home. This re-
quires considerable adjustment from
all concerned. The daughter who
went away and established her own
family has changed in many ways.
She no longer fits easily into the fam
lily routine and attitudes And her
interests have extended beyond the
family circle and into her own family
group.
The family in the old home have
their established customs and habits.
They are not used to the confusion
and noise of children. Father and
mother sleep later than they used to
do when the children were at home.
Mother takes an afternoon nap now.
and father snoozes in his chair with
the newspaper over his face. They
do not take kindly to Interruptions of
their rest time.
The other members of the family
are set in their ways. They have ar
ranged their lives without regard to
the needs or the rights of children.
much less to the presence of in-laws.
They are disturbed and ANNOYED to
find somebody else in their favorite
chair, or in their accustomed sitting
room. They are quick to defend each
others peace, and resentful, secretly,
OF the necessity.
The children are blissfully ignorant
OF this. They rise early and go their
noisy, needless way. Their father and
mother are edgy about them. They
feel keenly the necessity of living un-
der these conditions. The stage is all
set for an explosion, and it usually
comes.
"Maribelle, will you please remem-
ber that your grandmother is sleeping
and come down those stairs quietly
instead OF coming like horse?" Aunt
Amelia couldn't help that like a
horse" She had held her resentment
OF this noise too long. Mother rose
Immediately to the defense of her
child.
"She isn't doing anything that
would bother anybody with a grain
OF understanding of child nature in
them. You just can't abide the child.
She isn't here on your invitation. The
least you can do is to let her alone"
There must be adjustments made
all around. Allowance for the child
In the housee must be made by the
resident group. But the burden of the
whole matter rests heaviest upon the
mother of the visiting child. She
must make arrangements to train the
child to her new condition, to help
her Mt into the group as painlessly as
possible.
To do this she should consult with
the family. When father and mother
take a nap, when auntie entertains
guests, when uncle writes letters, the
child must be occupied somewhere
else. The child's daily schedule will
have to be arranged SO as to give the
greatest possible comfort to all con-
cerned. Each member OF the group
has his rights, but each must forego
some of them in order to make their
guests happy.
These guests are unhappy enough
Without anything ADDED. BY working
together, by meaning to be helpful,
things will straighten out and the
child will make his own place in the
hearts of the family. Once that is
done the rest is too easy. Train the
child to consider the older people and
they soon will be considering the child
first and last and all the time. But
try to force the child down their
throats and there will be trouble,
doubled.
Mr.. Patri has prepared a leaf1et
entitled, Changing Habits" in which
he tells parents how to overcome a
child's unpleasant habits. Send for it,
addressing your request to Mr.. Angelo
Patri, Child Psychology Department
OF this paper. Inclose a self-ad-
dressed, stamped (3-cent) envelope.