The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1937-12-03

ball accidents this
fall. But oh, think of d 4
the radio descrip-
tionists who'll wind Irwin 5. Cobb
up the season suf-
fering from nervous exhaustion,
wrecked vocal chords, violent rush
of loud words to the mouth, com.
plete collapse, even madness.
You'll be passing the rest cure
sanitarium, and, as the windows
burst outward, you'll hear pouring
forth something like this:
ooh boy, boy! with one tremen-
dous burst, Irish Goldberg is jam
ming his way from the red back
line right through the black inter-
ference! Nothing can stop him!"
But don't get worked up. What
you hear is merely convalescent
microphone orator mentioning a
checker game between two fellow
inmates and reverting to form.
Virtues in Snakes.
SOMETHING 1 said recently about
~ the folly of killing every snake
on sight, without investigating the
snakes character, brought flock
of letters from readers who don't
like snakes.
Even a so-called venomous snake
may have his better side. In Kan
sas, in the old local option days,
you could get drink only on doc
tors prescription, excepting in case
of dire emergency, such as snake
bite. So every properly run drug
store kept rattlesnake on the
premises to serve the citizenry. And
the only time a drug store rattler
ever refused to bite thirsty stran-
ger was when he was all worn out
from accommodating the regular
local trade.
And what though it was snake
that led Eve astray in the garden of
Eden? He may have brought sin
into the world, but wouldn't we have
missed a lot of spicy reading mat
ter in newspapers if he hadn't?
Yep, I plead guilty to thinking an
occasional charitable thought for
any decimated and vanishing group.
l feel that way about old line Re-
publicans and mustache cups and
red wooden pulse-warmers.
Political Predictions.
wv E TAKE the opportunity to an
w nounce that the Literary Di-
gest, or rather it's journalistic sue
cessor, will not conduct a poll on
next years congressional and state
elections. The burnt child breads
the poll.
Let others go around taking straw
votes, but, the way the Digest folks
feel now and, in fact, have felt ever
since last November, they wouldn't
start a canvass to prove that two
and two make four. Because, look
here-what if it should turn out that
two and two merely make some
more Marx brothers or a double
set of Siamese twins?
Anyhow, the business of basing
cocksure predictions on half-cocked
estimates doesn't seem to be -four
ishing these days. Figures don't
lie, but the citizens who furnish the
figures may do so, either uninten-
tionally or just for the sake of
laugh. The rise of candid camerasa-
tionalizing-say, we just thought up
that word-proves that a photo
graph of things as they are is
mightier than a lot of loose sta
tistics predicated on what the vot-
ers may or may not do-and prob
ably won't, when the time comes.
Forgotten Stars.
ONCE interviewers clamored for
~ hearing and her face was on
half the magazine covers and her
name in letters of flaming light
above all the marques. Once i'm
pressive tycoons catered to her tenn
peramental whims; press agents
waited upon her, courtiers attend
ing queen. Autograph seekers
besieged her then, while now only
bill collectors desire her signature
and they'd like to have it on a
check. Speak of her to the newer
generation, and somebody will say,
''Who? Spell it, please"
She is all through, all washed up.
But, like the deaf husband whose
wife has slipped, will be the last
person in town to hear the news.
Having travelled a road which is
sues mighty few round-trip tickets,
she still dreams of a comeback.
She is the most tragic and the
most pitiable figure-and one of the
commonest-to be found in this
place called Hollywood. She is any
one OF the host, men and women,
who, ten years ago, or even five,
were glittering stars in movieland.
IRWIN S. COBB.
copyrght.-WNU Service.