The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1937-05-20
s Sport
@ WQgS
BY Chuck Rattle

BY Chuck Rattle
East Side, West Side, and the
whole towns in 1t. This week a!
balmy zephyrs play among the
budding trees and the boys feel 8
bit kittenish, dire rumblings issue
from the East side of Main Street
Dire rumblings that threaten tc
blast the tranquility of the spring
scene into blaze of seething en-.
nifty. Dire mel A challenge was
handed out this week from the
East Side business men to the Yves:
siders that may disrupt business
proceedings for some time.
Fear was expressed that the
whole event may be bloody
mess. Barricades may be
thrown up in the middle of the
street-right in the middle Of
Main Street. South siders Of
Third Street are expected to
throw their forces in with
those of the west, and the north
Third Street siders will follow
their Eastern brethren in the
bloody civil conflict. Woe to
any man who dareth to set foot
across the barricades thrown
up-He will be hit with kit
tenball bat or beaned with a
pitched ball.
Spokesman, and Generalissimo,-
which is a nifty title-L. Blycker,
for the East Siders confided to the
press this week the plans of attack
for the eastern elements. Oh, II you
boys only knew-you westerners.
Seated at his campaign headquar-
tiers with orderlies dashing hither
and thither, Mr.. Blycker issued
crisp, curt commands-an allitera-
tion-that bespeak him every inch
a leader. But those east side boys
are with him to man. Said Mr..
Blycker, my east side boys can
whip the pants off those west sid
ers. Why, when my boys are just
to breathe hard, those
land here your correspondent dis
likes to quote him, but duty Is
duty softies won't be breathing at
ALL" The attack the east siders plot
will probably be welded from the
air, though some bombardment in
the first inning or two may be
ground work.
What we're getting at If the
same people are still reading
this cOlyum-is that the East
slider businessmen have issued
a challenge to those whose bus
inesses are on the west side OF
the Main stem, that they ar
decidedly whip them in a kit
tenbaIl game. To ascertain
whether you are east or west
of the sun, merely take your
compass and stand at the cor
ner of Third and Main. If the
needle whirls to the north,
your compass is perfectly cor
rect; but you haven't found out
a thing. Better still follow this:
II your businessmen your res
idence-is on the east side Of
Main Street you are an east
erner. II on the west-that's
shady In the afternoon, then
YOU are q hombre from the
west. II you westerners accept
the challenge of the east siders
be on the play ground Friday
evening at $50 o'clock ready
for the fray. Following that
game the north side of Third
Street businessmen will play
the south siders of that street
And the two winners will battle
It out for supremacy.
Designated as Spokesman for the
west side are rumored to be w.
Gallup, and namesake of that great
Statesman, William Jennings
Bryan. Just call him Bill. The
boys want every business man
there. If you're little paunchy,
but are a bit of a boy yet come on
and play. If you're not bit of a
boy, come and yell right out loud
for your side. Already the east sid
ers are on a training diet and some
have dragged out and are sweep
ing the cobwebs off their rowing
machines preparing for the great
battle. A battle that will rage un-
til dark, and will put lot of the
boys in bed earlier than they are
accustomed.
But here we must point to de-
velopments that may seem
bit one-sided. Gus Otto has
been hired as umpire. Now Gus
is an east slider, out and out.
But on oath, signed, sealed and
delivered he has promised on
pain Of death at the hands OF
~ 4