The Waterbury Democrat. [volume] (Waterbury, Conn.) 1917-1946, 1937-03-18
-s&ARENTS -
Your
Children
Of the Breton sailor hat.
BY Olive Roberts Barton
Second Of three articles re.
viewing the problems encount.
tered In disciplining children.


tered In disciplining children.
Discipline In the sense Of regula-
ton, makes us happy In spite Of
the fact that we grumble about the
"have-to's" Of living.
But In order to be happy and
content, we have to conform cheer
fully to the pressure - otherwise
only resentment results.
Children who are not carefully
disciplined so that they become ac-
customed to obedience and to duty
will never learn mental ease later
In life when society, law, work and
so on, demand things Of them.
There are two kinds Of discipline
and both are necessary to mental
content and moral strength. One Is
the imposed discipline that says to
the child, "You must; the other
something that the child develops
In himself. We call 1t character.
The latter is the whole problem Of
child training and Is endless In Its
scope.
Two Glasses Of Obedience
Imposed authority is valuable only
II 1t leads to self-strength. The par
ent must be leader and commander,
but he should see that his, or her,
too constant or too-strict supervis-
ion does not make the child's own
Judgment worthless. There are times
to call q halt without argument, and
there are times to. allow the child
TO work out his ideas with tolerance.
Henry will sometimes argue Q
point and say, why, Mother?"
Then It Is best to think It over and
decide whether Henry is entitled
to know. II he isn't, then q mere,
do as I say, son." Is enough. II
he has a right to know, explain.
One Is performance without ques-
tioning, the other a sensible dis
cussion between mother and son.
The goal would be reached II
Henry could be trusted at all times
to use his own good sense, but &C.
tually the time never comes. Even
the greatest OF men need, and seek,
mentors. None Of US has the perfect
strength In ourselves to 60 through
LIES experiences without superim-
posed authority to keep us in line.
The tenets Of society and law a
relief rather than burden.
II the child is not disciplined by
home rules and his parents orders,
and Is left to his own selection and
devices, 1t Is an unkindness to him.
He likes to exert his own judgment.
but he Is really more comfortable
and happy living under reasonable
home law. He may not know 1t, but
he depends on 1t, needs 1t and trusts
1t, or should. And he will, II his
parents are reasonable and not too
dictatorial. Otherwise they forfeit
his confidence and the urge to please
them.
Indecision Breeds Conflict
II every action Is left for the
child to decide, and he has to put
up his desires against a natural
sense Of right, then conflict steps
In, and conflict Is the cancer of
mental content. He often insists On
doing as he pleases, but he also
wants, subconsciously perhaps. to be
told. It Is a relief not to have to
decide. It explains why some men
will work long lifetimes under pres
sure who would otherwise loaf and
die on their own momentum, which
fails them.
Everyone should be strong enough
In himself, and fine enough. 70 80
right along without any imposed
discipline at all, but scarcely @ per-
son lives who can do 1t. The more
OF self-control. self-discipiine and
innate power he has, the better. 50
the child should be allowed as much
self development rs possible. But
the millennium is not here, and be
must accept q certain amount Of
commanding from his parents. his
teachers, and later the ciFcum-
stances. Of life. This is called "ac-
eeptance," the very essence Of con-
tent and health.