Evening star., 1937-10-13
BY EMILY POST.

nEAR MRS. POST: man see
occasionally has Just lost his
mother. I don't know what should
or should not do to express my
would like to know, too,
whether I should go to the funeral
services, which are not private and
are being held in church. I did not
know his mother, nor do know any
other members Of the family.
Answer-I am supposing that you do
not know this man very well, or you
would not be asking me whether you
may show your sympathy at such q
time. In any case, write him . note.
of course, and tell him how sorry you
are to hear Of his great loss. Whether
or not you 60 to the funeral would
depend upon what you think he would
like to have you do. If you are in
doubt about this, either because you
know him only slightly or because
your presence would be conspicuous
and therefore cause comment, then
don't go.
\ X \
DEAR MRS. POST: Is it obligatory
to ask sister Of the groom to
be bridesmaid under any circum-
stances? 1 wanted to have my two
sisters and lifelong friend as my
only attendants. The groom has one
sister and while am very fond of
her, she is not especially near to me.
Is there any other place I can give
her which would be better than that
Of every other guest, without having
to enlarge the wedding party itself?
Answer-Although it is customary to
ask the sister Of the bridegroom to be
a bridesmaid when she is of the same
age as the bride, and when the bride
is having many attendants, it is not
obligatory that she be asked when
there is considerable difference in
age and when the bride is having no
more than two attendants. The fact
that you are having three will perhaps
make people wonder why you did not
make it an even number; that is, your
two sisters could walk together and the
one who is bridesmaid Of honor would
be singled out by holding your bouquet
and standing on your right at the
reception. But you alone can decide
whether you want to carry out your
plan as it was, or would be willing to
change it.
- l.
nEAR MRS. POST: Will you kindly
settle question regarding good
form? "A" contends that it is per-
fectly correct in this country to whistle
in calling a member of ones family
or a close friend who knows this
familiar whistle. "B" says that it is
not good form in any case, either CALL
ing child or any person at any time
or from any distance, but that the
caller should get within calling dis
tance SO as not t have to shout, and
then call by name only.
Answer-You are perfectly right
about not shouting, and the habit of
whistling is not to be recommended as
the height of propriety. But there are
great many times when whistle
is really the best method of attracting
attention; for instance, If you are lost
in crowd. But again it is question
Of the where and how. A bob-white or
any other bird cali, not too loud, is a
thousand times better than a shouted
Ma-g-e-e, or Joh-nee, or Muth-
urr. But under ordinary circumstances
it is decidedly best manners to go
within speaking distance of the person
and say what you have to say.
nEAR Mrs. Post: There are 500
people to be invited to our we'd
ding and reception. which is a great
many guests for people in our circum-
stances to make preparations for But
rather than omit any one. I am willing
to forego having some of the trim
mings" in the belief that my friends
would like to be invited and are not
going to criticize the limitation of
our finances. However, it is in the
matter of invitations that we are
especially worried. Having them en-
graved is one expense We feel can be
eliminated if every one in both fami-
lies could help to write them. But
from what you wrote in the column
lately. I believe that the bride alone
is supposed to write such notes of in
vitation. If this is true. then of course
500 would be out of the question for
me to manage. If, however. this is