The Waterbury Democrat., 1937-08-03

hr plCCE O4 AduAS
 finding with the Hartford Courant over the ingredients of a drink be- loved of haymakers called "switchel" I never. encountered the word before but then I was only born and bred in these parts. The concoction according to the Courant is composed of ginger, molasses, sugar, cold water, and just so many chunks of ice" With its disposition for fault finding and also for gliding refined gold, painting the lily, and throwing perfume upon the violet" the Re- publican insists that switchel is not switchel unless to the stuff prescribed by the Courant there is added "a liberal grating of nut meg" It must not be put in the Courant's tin containers, accord ing to the switchel expert of Printers Alley, but in "old-time stone jugs" and ice must never come near it.
 All News
 All of which was news to this untutored farm hand. All the having have seen done, or par ticipated in from the shade of a spreading maple, was accompanied by unlimited quantities of hard, hard cider laced with three year old elderberry wine to give 1t what is vulgarly known as kick" but what he-man hayerS describe by the much more delicate and sig nificant term, bite" Unlike this sissyfied Switchel, which must be a nauseous mess indeed especial ly with the Republicans Liberal grating of nutmeg" good, old fashioned having cider is a drink which only man can contain. No tin container, no old-time stone jug, can withstand it's puis- sance from the time it takes to transport 1t from the cellar to the field.
 Great Trick
 But what really stirred my in- terest in the Republicans editorial was the manner in which 1t pre- scribed the fashion after which the liquid, to give 1t the title dic- tated by charity, must be im- bibed:-
 "The thirsty haymaker tossed
 this jug to his shoulder and
 drank directly as 1t flowed from
 the neck of the container." This is a trick which Ferry the Frogman, the Boneless Marvel, would not dare to attempt. The only creature who could carry . jug on his shoulder and drink di- rectly out of its neck would have to be a swivel-hcaded ventrilo- quial dummy.
 Lick Alike
 With that fact in mind 1t occurs to me that the candidates on the Republican (O-so-called Inde- pendent Democratic city ticket could, being ventriloquial dum- mics, drink switchel according to the technique laid down by the Republican. They would have to do SO. Their heads must be on a swivel to turn in whatever direc- ton the ventriloquist wishes. If there are so-called Independent Democratic votes over their right shoulders they look in that direc. ton. If there are Republican vot- CTS over their left shoulders they look in that direction. Their eyes roll necessarily to all points of the compass. Their necks wobble wherever their manipulator imag- ines there are disaffected to be drawn into the applauding sec- ton. But they never look straight forward. eye to eye. They want to know what is going on in front at the same time they are in- terested in what Is happening down the back of their necks. They are the ideal switchel drink CTS, passed upon, approved, and recommended by the Republican.
 
 Just Switchels
 It also occurs to me that the ingredients of the drink with which they energize the pre-elec- ton hay-making (if any) com pose an accurate, description of themselves, their party CD, and their platform. All three are e mixture of ginger tjust a dash), molasses, VINEGAR, sugar, and just so many chunks of ice. They
 Qx, Ed Dnnd