The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1937-07-16


comfortably yes, sgN3l u
and happily-within
their means, how Irwin 5. CobD
ever meager.
Then come back to crowded
cities where wealth seems only to
make the inmates dissatisfied be-
cause somebody with greater wealth
puts on a gaudier show of ostenta-
ton and extravaganza. And see
the man who feverishly is striving
after riches so that when he breaks
down he may afford the most ex-
pensive nerve specialist. And the
spoiled woman who was born with
a silver spoon in her mouth, but
judging by her expression the spoon
must have been full of castor oil
and the flavor lasts. And the poor
little rich children who have every.
thing now and so will have nothing
except maybe dollars-when they
grow up.
Curious, isn't it, that so little buys
such lot for some people and such
a lot buys so little for the others?
The Return of Prosperity.
I CAN'T help gloating over what
appeared in this space when I
predicted that the temperamental
and tickle bird of passage known as
prosperity was winging its way
back. Because the Better Business
bureau reports that sellers of no
good stocks are showing increased
activity.
Moreover, I hear that for the first
time in years practically all the
veteran bunco-steers are off relief.
The lean times when the locusts of
depression gnawed away our SUBJ
stance must indeed be over if the
customers begin to nibble more free
ly at the same dependable old bats.
So, as he thumbs his copy of the
sucker list against the morrow's
campaign, seem to hear Mr.. Henry
j. Slickguy Qate of Leavenworth
but now opening offices in the Wall
street district) murmuring to him
self:
Happy days are here again!
Drouth may kill the corn, Rust rots
the wheat. Boil weevils destroy the
cotton. But, thanks be, there's one
crop in America which never fails!"
Have you a little gold brick in
your home, dear reader? Well, don't
worry, nobody's going to be slight
ed. Ere long you'll get your chance
to invest in one.
Making Mental Slips.
THE most incredible thing has
L come to pass. Here go along,
year after year, building up rep
utation for invariably being right,
the same as George Bernard Shaw
and Nine. Secretary Perkins. Then
--bango!-I make one little slip and
the trusting reader is shocked from
pit to dome.
The other day suggested taxing
salaries of governmental en-
ployees. Now from all sides I'm
told federal employees are subject
to income taxes; only the vast ma
jority of them, and probably the
hardest-worked ones, draw such
small wages that they owe Uncle
Sam nothing when March Is rolls,
around.
So far as I recall, this is the Sec
ond time in my life I've been wrong.
] can't cite what the other instance
was-some very trifiing matter, no
doubt-but it must have occurred
because remember the nationwide
excitement which ensued, with peo-
pie going around in a daze mutter-
ing: "Can it be possible?"
l now admit that early error and
the recent one, too, and humbly beg
pardon of my devoted public-all
eight of them. It'll never happen
again.
Conquered Champions.
1T HAS been brought to the atten-
L ton of Mr.. James J. Braddock
that something happened to him a
while back. Probably, by now, he
has quit wondering whether many
others were caught in the earth
quake, but is reported to be still
saying ''Ouch!" at intervals.
And now, as is customary, his
hackers will insist he demand a re-
turn engagement-or disaster-with
the Brown Bomber. But if I were
Mr.. Braddock-game though he be
Il think I'd pattern my reply on
the examine of the gentleman who
was knocked galley-west by a hit
and-run motorist.
AS the dazed pedestrian was try
ing feebly to ascertain whether he
was all in one piece, a kind-hearted
citizen hurried up.
Have an ACCIDENT" he inquired,
brightly.
mo, thank you," said the victim;
''just had one. .
tel sem IRWIN S. COBB.
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