Milford chronicle., 1937-04-23
He Started to Live
THE TIRED TYPICALS

~ NCE there was an unmistak-
able Reuben Glue who stood
~ on a busy Corner In the Big
Settlement, just where he
was a Hazard for all Pedestrians.
He wore a Linen Duster and car
ried n Carpet Bag with Red Flow
ers on Il. The bristly G0sh-ding-its
fOrked straight out from the Sub.
maxillfry and he sported a droopy
Straw Hat with ShOe-string
around II. Knowing that he was
under Observation by the City
Folks he started In TO live up to his
Reputation. After ruhbering at
Tall Building, with the mouth open.
he exclaimed: Gosh all FirewOOd !
We amt got nothin' like that out
at intLbaga Center. Jumpin' corn
stalksi I'm gOin' to see all the
Sights II bust a Gallusl Col
Sizzle!. .Iimminy Cricketsl I low.
,alkerlate and swan that this hur
Town is a Ding -WallOperl"
He. paused and wiped his Freckles
with. Bandana. II wts tough
MISUNDERSTANDING Dialect.
AS he stood there. impeding Traf-
tic, who should apprOach him but
the Traditional Policeman.
"Phwat the Divvle do ye name.
blOckin' the Strate?' demanded the
Copper.
I4-TUBE FARMER
':rhis Is most interesting" said
the Agriculturist. forgetting his
Role. often | have wondered IL
any Officer of the Law really did
use 'Phwat'."
II am compelled TO do so by the
lsxigencies OF Realism" said the
Constable, lowering his Voice. Even
though ! am of Polish Descent and |
was born in ROxbury, Mass. am
supposed TO speak Irish. even to |
the extent of 'Spalpeen. II there is
such a Word"
Il get you" said the Boob from
the Sticks. ANY stranger walking
up to you might be the. Creative
Artist who puts Titles into Moving
pictures and it wsuldn't do ta ruin
his Illusions. But I am telling you
that Il Is no Burst Of Laughter TO
rhew straw all Day or tote this
Vanity Case"
"Then possibly ! am mistaken In
assuming that yeu have come to
rOwn to buy Gold Brick or trade
fOur Farm for some phOney OH
Stock" said the Officer.
"Y0u sure are" was the Reply. |
7 am here 10 look up new Isadio
Yet. Our I4-tube Super Zingadine
will not permit us t0,pick up either
Ionolulu or Rome and we want one
With some class. This must be nm
M Day with you. I have been siz-
ng ynu up two Minutes and you
avent clubbed anyone yet. Now,
u the two-reel Comlcs-.
I'm a merciful Guy" said the
lobby. Il spLre even the Hip
'laskers who are begging for
'rouble. | never. except on the
Green. soak Comic just to see
i'm roll up the Eyes and do a rur.
In Fadeaway. And yet, the only
eople who get me sized ap right
re the members OF cur Order We
ave an extremely gum-shoe Or
anizatioh called The Ssciety OF
Types. Perhaps. yOu
ould Ike to attend n Meeting."
LAMENT OF THE T. B. NJ.
Would they let me back out OF I
lis Character Costume and appear a
my regular clothes?" asked the |
ayseed. Sss~.
THAT is the idea of the Club. We 4
Il together in, Private and swap I
rouhles and synpathlze with Each e
ther." q
90 that Is how II came about that
e Conventional zap was taken by r
Ie Usual Policeman TO meet the &
apper, the SheIk, the Desiilsh Old a
ldy and the Tired business Man q
hey dined in quiet Alcoye. -
The Tired Business Man said he r
puld have 10 hurry as new Il
rls and Music Show was opening
I'd he had been, advertised MS n h