The Washington times., 1937-02-11
THE VOICE OF
Broad WaV
BY Louis SObOl-
Diary Of a CoIyumist's
Pup!
rWhiSkey' Holds Nothing Back
from the Public

Tuesday-The Queen is reading
a copy of the Presidents Birthday
magazine and she looks up and
says: This piece you wrote here
about Mr.. Roosevelt is very fine
especially about his smile. Who's
ghoSting for you these dayS?"
Fish-eye is fit to bust and the
coffee droolS out Of his mouth as
he yells: "Waddaya mean, ghost?
I thought it up myself and wrote
it myself-Since when do 1 need
a ghost?' So the Lady grinS and
says: You certainly are a sucker
for a rib-no sense of humor at
all. I wish you were Bugs Baer. ]"
and he says: oh, you wish l was
Bugs Baer?" and she signs and
says: Il was thinking that when
I was in a good mood there would
be nobody l would rather be with
than Bugs Baer so we could kid
and have laughs, but if 1 were in
a movie theater and the picture
was romantic, I'd like Clark Gable
to be sitting next to me and hold
ing hands"
"Only for the movies?" he
asks, caustic.like, and by now
she is very dreamy and says,
"Yes, but if it were a SYM
phOny concert. I'd want George
GerShwin, and if it were the
opera, Brian Aherne, because he
looks like a person should look
who goes to the opera. And if
/ were going Summing in the
dives, I'd have George Raft, and
if l were out from a drive, Gary
Cooper, and for fishing, I'd want
Pat O'Brien, and if it were
dinner at a dull party I'd like
to be sitting across from Ron
aid Coleman, and if it was ="
If it was husband you
wanted, who paid all your bills, "
he interrupts, "and worked him
self to a bone day and night and
got cold coffee and stale rolls for
breakfast, I suppose Mr.. Roosevelt
would be your man" The Queen
Sighs: He has such a nice voice
on the radio"
Wednesday-They went to see
Good Earth" last night and they
are very much impressed, especi-
ally Brain-Droop, who pants he
never saw performance like
some honey named LuiSe Rainer
who is supposed to be Chinese
gives out but he is disappointed
that toward the end of the pic
ture Paul MUM forgetS to look
Chinese and starts looking like
a matinee idol. Later they go
to see Mr.. Berlin'S "On the Ave
nue." but he isn't as excited over
this one and says it misses in a
lot of spots after getting off to
swell start. But he raves about
the Ritz Brothers cloWning and
some of the tunes.
Push-Pan is really feeling
gOOd-natured today on account
of something he reads in Cos
mopOlitan Magazine by LuciuS
Beebe, which says he is some
thing like tops in his field and
the despair of his rivals and,
of course, anytime something
appears in print giving him a
Send-Off there's no putting up
with his Swelled head. The
Queen Just listens to him while
he reads what Beebe has to
say and adds a few on his
own on how good he is, but
the world don't appreciate him.
When he gets going this way,
the best thing to do is just to
sit by or walk away until he
talks himself out.
Thursday-"Aren't you going
anywhere this year?" the Lady
asks while he's grouching over his
breakfast. mo" he says, I'm
going to stay here and slave in
the night clubs and the theaters
while everybody else is enjoying
the Miami sun or the beautiful
Palm Beach moonlight but me,
by the time I get through paying
the bills. I have no money to 90
anywhere so I am going to stay
here"
He says this like he is martyr
ready to climb on a Woodpile and
let them set fire to it, and the
Queen giggles and says. You poor
lamb, I'm almost as sorry for you
as you are for yourself. but the
only reason I ask is as long as you
are going to stay home I think it
would be nice for me to take a
/ MIAMI BEACH. FLA.