Evening star., 1937-03-16

divorced man and at his
request our marriage was
D kept secret for two years. He |
is very jealous, and after one occasion
when he came into the Office where I
work and made scene and demanded |
his wedding ring back, my mother
forced him to announce our marriage
and take me to live with him. adore
my husband, and except for his jeal-
ousy he is nearly perfect, but there
are many things in my life that keep
me almost on the point Of leaving him.
One is that his mother lives with us,
and Heaven didn't mean for q mans
wife and mother to call the same
place home. Another reason Is that
he let's his son by his divorced wife
use his car, and I am supposed to
beam with JOY when he brags about
the boy Another is that the first wife
still uses his name, and want to be
the only Mrs. Jones Another is that
my husband does not resent my being
called Miss Smith" by the people
am associated with in business, as l
was before I was married. And
another is that my husband con-
stantly compares me with Wife No. l,
and says she did so and 50, or didn't
do this or that. What DO you think
I should do?
CONSTANT READER.
Answer: Try to cultivate little
common sense, in which you seem to
be abnormally deficient Accept the
situation in which you find yourself
and which you deliberately chose, and
make the best of it. After ALL it isn't
so bad.
I agree with you that 1t Is unfor-
tunate when a mother r-in-law and
daughter-in- law have to live together,
for no two women can live under the
same roof without getting on each
others nerves, but even that is what
you make it. You can make her q
friend or an enemy, as you will, for
there are very few old ladies who
cannot be won over by young
woman who will take the trouble to
be kind and considerate to them who
will make them feel welcome in their
sons houses and who will not respond
to little affection.
| After all, q daughter-in-law owes
much to the woman who has given
| her a good husband. You might
think of that a little. And you might
also remember that perhaps some
time you will be the unWanted
mother law in your sons house,
and so treat your mother -in-law as
you would like to be treated.
| AS for your other troubles, when
| you married divorced man you must
have known that you would face COM
| plications arising out of his previous
marriage. You knew that you could
never possibly be the only Mrs. Jones,
because there wss another one who
| had as good a right to the name as
| you have, so why make that
grievance noW2
And surely you are not heartless
enough and selfish enough to wish
your husband not to love his son and
have pride in him, when he is his
own flesh and blood. And you are
silly in objecting to being called Miss
Smith" in business, when it is the
common custom for women to keep
their names as sort of trademark
if they succeed in business or a pro-
fession. Don't go out Of your way
! to borrow trouble Plenty Of it will
come to you as you 60 along.
NEAR DOROTHY DK-As soon as
we were married my wife set
herself to correct what she considered
my faults and blemishes and to make
me over according to her own ideas.
She found fault with everything I
did and said. My dress, my table
manners, my accent and modulation
Of voice, the statements I made, the
| phrases I used all came In for bitter
censure, and for me to transgress her
code brought scene. If I protest at
all my wife declares that she will
Just let me go, and never try to
help me again" "let me make fool
of myself if l choose" ETC., ETC., until
she makes me feel that I bore her
to death and that she is ashamed
of me. The situation makes it impos-
sible for me to show her the little
attentions 1 would like to. I dare
not send flowers because they are sure
to be the wrong kind, or get there
at the wrong time, or nobody is
wearing flowers. I cannot even carry
on conversation because I speak
too abruptly, or am too positive in my
statements, or I am argumentative, so
all that is left for me is to keep
silence and then be accused of being
dumb. We are both young enough to
have many more years of life. and it
is dreary prospect il We must live
it together. Can you make any sug-
/