Coulee City dispatch. [volume] (Coulee City, Wash.) 19??-19??, 1937-02-11
Lights Of New York
by IL. STEVENSON

ner, it became known to editorial
staff members of the Wall Street
Journal that one of their number
would have birthday on recent
date. So they got together and for
getting stocks, bonds, the finances OF
the world and the Treasury deficit,
took counsel among themselves and
decided on gifts. When the young
man arrived, he found his desk piled
high with packages. With snicker-
concealing associates g ath e re d
around him, he removed various
wrappings and thus exposed drums,
dolls, tin automobiles and other
articles common to the play of ex-
IRENE childhood. In other words,
they had arranged a fine ribbing.
But instead of explosions or even
embarrassment, there were express
sions of complete satisfaction and
in fact gratitude. Discreet question
ing disclosed the reason. The
newspaperman's children had been
repining because he never brought
them home any toys!
The Meter Goes Round and
Around Though the disc actually
cost only rs cents, the record OF
"These Foolish Things, now owned
by Henry King, is the most expen-
sive in his collection. Heading home
in taxi the other day, the band
master suddenly decided that he
needed the song for some purpose
or other and instructed the driver to
stop outside music store and wait
until he made the purchase. Once
inside, he and the proprietor got to
talking about music and the CONVEX
sation lasted for hours. When King
went outside, the cab was waiting
for him with $500 duly charged.
There was nothing to do but pay.
So King has decided that in the
future he'll buy his records from a
music salesman and not, a music
student.
Life's Like That: The other day,
Fred Allen was hurrying along
Broadway when a gentleman
bumped into him with great force
and violence.
"I'm sorry" apologized the col
lider. ''But I'm so upset / don't
know what I'm doing"
'tCome on, fellow" said Allen
with CHEEKY smile. ''You go right
ahead, do your work and keep your
chin up"
''I can't keep my chin up" was
the mournful reply.
s'Why not?" inquired Allen.
because I'm a violin player"
was the rejoinder.
Hudson River Scene: Blunt-end
ferries passing in mid-stream. :.
Two huge barges of freight cars
with tug between them. Like
a mother hen trying to shelter over
grown chicks with inadequate
wings. :. A trim police launch fleet
ing by leaving a broad trail of
white. Waves tapping against
piling. The Leviathan rotting at
Hoboken pier. Barges loaded
with cattle being towed to slaughter.
4. A majestic liner, assisted by
a fleet of snorting tugs, turning to
enter her slip. A little battered
and time-worn fishing boat heading
out to sea.
Where There's a Will, etc.: A lot
of jaded New Workers got quite a
start the other day. Pauline Holden
was the cause. The singer came
in from the West Coast by airplane
and was met by friend from Ohio.
Both we're babes in the woods so
far as New York traffic was con-
cerned. So they had no end of
trouble trying to cross streets. Not
for long, however. When they want
ed to go to the other side, Miss
Holden merely gave piercing
scream which made many a staid
New Yorker jump but which halt
ed traffic long enough for her and
her friend to cross. ~
Too Bad: Red Nichols tells of the
Hollywood yes-man who had to go
East to spend his declining years.
And of the attempt to obtain pho
tograph of yes-man. 1t failed be-
cause no negative could be found.
g Bell Syndicate.-WNU Service.