Imperial Valley press., 1937-06-18

OF MN In action to prepare the cold
ly analytical report for which this
pillar of truth and light is famed.
l was in Kenosha, all right And
on time, too. My chaperone put me
on an early train out of Chicago
and placed me in the charge of a
conductor who saw to it that
got off at the right stop. But rain
drove Louis from the stadium in
which he usually works, and into
the fourth ballroom of the Moose
hall.
My ascent to that Moose ball
room SO unnerVed me my hand
was much too unsteady to iot down
notes. The ascent was made, along
with thirty other journalists, in an
elevator which started from the
basement and which constantly
gave signs of returning to its base
of operations. We were somewhere
between the third and fourt floors,
jerking violently along, when a
Sadist in the group decided to
count the number of head of news
papermen in the lift. Just as he
reached nineteen in his count, his
eye caught a sign on the elevator
door which read:
Maximum weight 1900 poundsl
Caution!'
He gave a cry of alarm and if it
had not been for the presence OF
several cool heads-the cool heads
were cool heads because their own
ers still were wearing ice-packs as
an aftermath of a party thrown by
Promoter Mike Jacobs-there would
have been a panic. Even so, had
a private little panic of my own,
and all during the rest of the
flight I practiced rising up on my
toes and jumping, because | had
heard that such a business would
help if executed just before fall
ing elevator hit bottom.
The tension wasn't leSSened when
the ballroom was reached. The place
was packed solid with very substan-
tial lovers of the fancy, and I had
no more than eased into one OF
those cheerless chairs borrowed
from the local mortician when
Clarence Buddington Kelland, who
was sitting next to me, said appre-
hensively:
This durn floors shaking! Feel
it?"
AS ne spoke a plank groaned
and my heart skipped a beat, be-
cause if there is one thing / don't
like it is falling four floors through
the heart of a Moose hall. In fact,
/ am not particularly keen on fall
ing through four floors of any
hall, be it Odd Fellows, Woodmen
of the World, knights Templar, or
Sons and Daughter of 1 VIII Arise
Louis was in there boxing by this
time, but 1 couldn't get my mind on
him Every time the hastily con-
structed ring shook I imagined the
entire building giving way and
turning me into unhappy debris.
| did manage to take a few peeks at
Louis. but they weren's very satis-
| factory because he was boxing an
article that was so soft and flabby
and rubbery you could have pour
ed him from a pitcher.
! Before the n5Ht opponent was
brought in l ducked out and went
around the corner Where-if the
Moose hall collapsed as 1 surely
though it must-no flying bricks
or windoW-sills would bop me.
spent the remainder of the prac-
tice session browsing in a meal
market, where | picked up a rart
first edition steak
Louis works out in the open Sun
day, and l will be there, penci
back Of ear, pad i'm hand, ready Il
make my final analysis.
On Monday-in all editions-yol
will find my choice Of the winner
Right now, with S700 600 in tn
till, Promoter Mike Jacobs appear
to have the inside edge for the hon
or
J Copyright 1897 by United Press