The Republican., 1937-02-25

Maryland authorities won't admit
there is any law they don't enforce,
but, according to an Annapolis news
paper, it has been a long time since
anybody was arrested for:
Using ferrets for hunting.
Not having two men aboard trac-
ton engine; one of them to get down
and help hold any horses the engine
might frighten.
Belonging to a club whose aim is to
promote the secession of State from
the Union.
Tarring and feathering.
Marching State troops in view of
the polls during an election.
Permitting a female accompany
ing" a street piano to solicit money
for anything except charity.
Destroying bridges, rails or dams
for the promotion of secession.
Delivering boats to persons in rebel
lion against the state.
Laws against all these things are
still on the statute books. The ones
dealing with secession, of course, were
enacted during the Civil War.
The Maryland law also provides that
the Governor shall appoint board of
"sidepath commissioners" composed of
"wheelmen" to lay out and supervise
bicycle paths. 1t also forbids the col
lection of tolls on roads and bridges
from vehicles in a funeral procession,
or from tricycles propelled by human
muscles.
Another seldom invoked law charac-
terizes as "rogue and vagabond" any
person having in his possession
'pistol, hanger, cutlass, bludgeon, or
similar weapon.
Stylists say that fringe on clothing
is going to be used extensively this
year. This will make my coat and
trousers ultra-fashionable.
| **&
Another Contest Answered
Well, I've answered another contest
and now III be all in lather for the
next two months, watching every mail
and blaming the mail man for treach-
cry if he doesn't deliver my Pontiac
special delivery.
After every contest is ended and the
last straw of hope has disappeared l
swear never to enter another one, but
evidently I am content to be fooled
along with thousands of others. At
the first announcement of another I
am in the thick of things.
have tried all kinds of washing
powder, soaps, cake shortening, and
have done everything but buy second
hand car. That's one contest l wasn't
able to finance. I have even named
pictures and predicted that the Re-
publicans would win the election last
| November.
Every announcement always assures
me that they want nothing brilliant,
just to be your natural self and
answer sincerely. That gives me
chance and stirs hope within the
breast.
Besides the Pontiac which l am ex-
pecting, there is also silver tray
with $4,000 on it, and after 1 have that
safely tucked away in my sock I ex-
pect to cover it over with the 100000
from cigaret contest. Of course it's
tough when you don't smoke that brand
Or don't even smoke at all. It's
tough on your friends too, whom you
persuade to do your smoking for you.
At last report one was slowly choking
to death and he said if 1 didn't soon
hurry up and get enough wrappers he'd
have to stop before it was fatal.
This last soap contest lasted six
weeks and that's long enough to cause
a nervous breakdown, or pneumonia
from scrubbing so much.
Lather, lather everywhere, and not
cake to sink,
I've used it and used it for everything
but drink;
No matter if travel with goat, mink
or skink
It's got me shining-I'm clean 100
persink.
If l could make them believe this, just
think!
A Pontiac would float my way and I'd
be in the pink.
But not chance, it can't happen here
My wife has made me think;
And l guess she's right, I've about
decided
My efforts have once more gone ker-
pink.
--O-
CARD OF THANKS
We desire in this manner to express
i n.... 4La..l.- L. j