The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1937-10-21

Judge II. r. KellS quite Few OF
the local boys when getting hitched
solicited his services. But new
law has cut the civil authorities out
Of huge slice Of the cardiac splic-
es (affairs OF the heart, Dora). He
says he used to send for more than
two-thirds Of the licenses and when
the license came it was convenient
to call for it a free man and leave
the Judges office a unit of two.
Now licenses must be had at the
Court House and the only ones the
local authorities can handle are the
ones when the girl is under age
and must be accompanied by an at
fidavit giving the parents consent.
You Bring the Duck-Former A.
and p. man and now restauranteur
in Minneapolis, Bill Bryan, left here
now for his new enterprise. Said
Bill, "it's an awkward situation to
invite a host of your friends when
you run a restaurant. There's so
darn little profit in it." I'll tell 'em
to bring their own duck for you,
Bill, howzat?
What D'ya 'Want-It's a brand
new policy at the library inaugural
ed by the new librarian, Bernice
Finnegan. A telephone reference
service so you don't have to use
your own head is the idea. Get
stuck on a crossword puzzle, you
get into technical argument, your
betting stakes hang in the balance
of an unsolved problem, and you
can get them answered at the Ii
brary. Get on the phone or call in
person and they'll tell you anything
except Aunt Susie's horoscope :.
Of course such privileges can be
abused (this is strictly my own
idea) but persons who are really
earnest in their thirst for know
ledge can gain much help from this
quick reference to fact, fiction, or
biography. Miss Finnegan tells me
that in st. Cloud they received all
sorts of strange requests. At one
time a carnival company was In
town, and the snake turned out
bunch of eggs. So in came the call
how long does it take them to
hatch And they looked it up.
Chips off the Block-Wilfred
Hetzel, on his recent trip to New
York, on which he grabbed off
promise to appear with his free
throw exhibition in Madison Square
Garden, says he thumbed his way
back here in three days. From Gin
cinnati on he slept little, rode 2sO
miles in one night, and across
Pennsylvania he never rode in a
car bearing the Pa. license. One
fellow he rode with was pop corn
king and in the confection he had
grabbed off 1900 plunkets in one
year, another was Bostonian who
is a cousin to the girl who will
marry the younger Roosevelt :.
Journeys End: Neatly framed is a
small bit of paper in the office of
Supt. w. A. Kohf that says Master
of Arts Degree. An unimpressive
bit of paper, issued him in July OF
this year, it represents plenty OF
work. His study was an education
al survey conducted in his own
school here. Price of tipping thesis
was over a hundred You may
not know it, or care, but reports
filter in that marihuana weed
grows hereabouts. Mistaken Identi-
ty: Letters sent to HON Fleming, at
the University, came back the other
day having gone astray. They had
gone to DR.. F. Thomas Fleming,
which is the same monicker as
Toms, at Columbia University, who
probably had the same box at one
time at the U :. Well, the farmers
are bringing in the big ones 1t
seems. Other day a local farmer
sold 16 chickens for $1.36 for total
of S21. go Aftermath: In the gar
age fire at Yager's last week was
a pup almost forgotten in the ex-
citement. In the early minutes OF
the fire, he was in the garage at
the time, things had become hot Tor
him and out he scooted. For several
days he was gone, and finally show
ed up at the home Of his owner,
Fred Williams. badly burned and
not too well -.
Orientale-In far off China, CHI
Domke finally arrived in his final
destination, Fenchow, pronounced
Fun-jow, I Think, in Shansi prov
ince. He's learning Shansi Chinese,
which is one of the nations dia-
lects. The Chinese parallels our own
language in dialects that follow the
geographical divisions OF the ma
ton I'm told that there are 1000
characters in the Chinese tongue
that must be memoried. OF, o.,
and we have 26 and some kids
never learn all of them. Each char
acter is supposed to tell a little
story of its own ;.
What'Il you have now? Well, I'll
tell you a good one about the gen.
tleman from Britain who came to
this country, promptly announced
there were no typical midwest
towns left, and lounged in the lap
of wide publicity, while he chuckled
merrily. The gent was Hammer
Swaffer who brought laundering
around his head the invitations
from a host Of towns including
bid from this hamlet of Main
Street This week he sat down
to a map, looked at the broad ex-
panses of the American plains,
counted his sheckels, I'll bet, con-
suited the train fares and made the
announcement that he had discov-
cred in Decatur, ILL.,, just what he
was looking fora typical midwest
town. He said, ut would be
bloody bit of dashing around to WIS.,
1t all the towns from whom invita-
lions had come" So he would just
mark in Decatur But / am still