Evening star., 1937-09-25

Inner Workings of the Salamander Syndicate Revealed
Time Approaches for Delivery of Strange Shipment and
Trick Printing Explains All.

self on the way TO becoming q newt
lover, and that against your will. and
you will see why she called this rhole
experience unsettlingS
Well there you are. Thus the mat
ter stood when the reviewer went for
short vacation to the mountains q
week ago last Monday. Up to then
the issue seemed fairly clear. 1t was
to have nevis or not to have them. II
was-shall we say-exotic? But IL
was hardly complicated. During her
trip, however. the reviewer happened
to mention the matter to friend, and
he replied informatiyely that the newt
was a variety Of the salamander.
Now, the salamander part OF the
business had escaped the reviewers
mind up TO that moment. On hearing
the word from her friend, however, shs
had rapid vision Of the fatal cream.
colored letter-head. 1t had said SAL
amander Syndicate" Sure enough.
Nevis really must be salamanders.
But salamanders live in firel Con-
slider this complication, If you please.
The issue no longer remained simple
one of choosing between setting up a
newt tank in the apartment, which,
though it would not be desired, might
In time become accepted. and callously
dumping the tanks contents down the
sink. No, it was now vastly different.
For, If the promised nevis turned out
to be salamanders, why then it meant
that they would have to be domiciled
in the CRATE, and that reviewer. settling
down before her hearth Of an evening
to concentrate upon the latest volume
put out by the Federal writer's project.
would see before her, among her do
mestic flames, countless little crea-
lures, leaping and grinning and-who
knoWs--maybe thumbing their noses
at her from the immunity of red-hot
ashes. Well, that was Just Too Much.
And so, when the reviewer entered
her Office last Monday and saw. in her
accumulated mail yet one more COM
munication from the Salamander Syn-
dicate. she Rebelled. She picked tho
card up as If 1t had been a serpent
(or a newt and bore it bitterly into
the outer Office, where she deposited
it upon Miss Miller's desk and dis
claimed any further responsibility for
1t. Miss Miller, not unnaturally, picked
IT up and read it aloud Ut was not
letter, but large card printed on
thick stiff pasteboard.) 1t announced.
said Miss Miller, that the prevailing
dampneSs had made it necessary tor
the managers of the Salamander Svn-
dicate to invent new printing proc
ess in order to handle bills OF ladinr
and such things pertaining to the
shipment of nevis, and that. by Dip
ping the present card in water. the
cards recipient could see sample of
this new printing on the reverse side.
At that point, the reviewer admits.
II not before, she ought to have
smelled a rat.
But she did not. There were al
ready too many kinds Of animals
mixed up in this nightmare for her
even to think of rats. She only said,
with uncompromising firmness. II will
not dip 1t In water. 1 will not touch
1t. Nothing shall induce me to-" And
remained while Miss Miller. by this
time surrounded by small group.
dipped the thing in water.
And there emerged on the thereto
fore blank side an advertisement of
forthcoming book about nevis.
Now the reviewer has been a pub
licity woman herself in her day. and
as such has put over a few fairly fast
ones. But never again can she dwell
on the memory Of those fast ones with
| complacence. To be taken like thstl
To have swallowed such a fragrant
publicity trick whole-hook, line and
sinker! She can only state that the
low. sly, corrupt animal cunning of the
publishers of. that work seem to her
utterly beneath notice. In the immor-
tai words of Sam Goldwyn, it is un-
ethical and lousy.
Well, she has one comeback. And
that is this: Nothing in the world
could induce her to name that book
in this article. 1t shall remain anony-
nous. even as the miscreant who
burned the temple of Diana at Ephesus.
So there you are, Mr.. Publisher! As
the sports reporter remarked, Nevis
to you'll"