The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1937-09-23


find my legs going
to sleep before I do. And the con-
slant pressure makes callouses on
my second mezzanine landing.
I admit these mass production
books serve nicely as door shoppers
and for pressing wild flowers. I
also heard of chap who detected
prowler under his window and
dropped a frothy little work of fic-
ton weighing slightly less than nine
pounds on the back of the fellows
neck, dislocating three vertebrae.
At last accounts, the surgeons were
still picking long jagged chapters
out of his spine.
In my present mood, what I crave
is the romantic stuff of olden days,
in which our sainted Aunt Sophie
was wont to inscribe "Alas, how
sad!" or ''Only too true!" in pale
violet ink on the margins. What
happened to all the Aunt Sophies,
anyhow?
An Actors Temperament.
w EVE all been waiting for
w something to top it, but the
best wheeee of the month remains
the one that was emitted, not by a
paid gagster, but by simple stage
hand at one of the studios when Mr..
Leslie Howard refused to 60 on
making picture until a group of
distinguished visitors, including Mr..
Charles Norris, the novelist, had
been shooed off the set.
"He amt sore at you gents" stat
ed the stage-hand to the ousted par
ties, "but he's been playin' Ham
let on the regular stage and he amt
used to havin' a crowd watchin' him
while he's actin"
If Mr.. Norris and his friends want
ed to see some really great acting
they should have patronized the pro-
fessional wrestling matches. That's
where they put on the heavy dra-
matte stuff-beautifully rehearsed,
perfectly done.
Children's Education
LIKE the way the wealthy
classes in England rear their
children. Little Rosemary doesn't
recite for the company after dinner,
and if Master Jones-Terwillager Mi
nor gets uppity at school, he gets
thrashed.
Many a rich American has known
how sharper than a serpent's tooth
it is to see his daughter grow up a
wanton and his boy turn out vast
er. Yet, with few exceptions-so
few that the newspapers comment
on them-it never seems to occur
to these fond fathers that less of
coddling and pampering and spoil
ing in adolescence and more of
wholesome discipline might produce
higher average grade of heirs.
What set me to thinking along this
line was being t'other night at a
party where a poor little four-year-
old, having already the pitiable as
surance of a veteran prima donna,
was fetched in to give impersona-
tons. She never again could imper-
senate natural babyhood though,
more's the pity And her pert small
brother was encouraged to domi-
nate the talk.
Mark my word for it, that kid is
going to come to no good end-not
even a well-spanked end, which
would help.
Mr.. Pincus' Conn.
IN THESE topsy-turvy times lib
eral-minded patriots who are
striving to steer a middle course
between ultraenthusiastic left-wing-
ers and ultraconservative rightists
might do well, methinks, to follow
the example set by Mr.. Pincus.
Mr.. Pincus had opened clothing
store. Immediately on one side of
him was the clothing store of Mr..
Ginsberg and Immediately on the
other side was the clothing store of
Mr.. Dreifus; and three clothing
stores in a row were too many even
for Essex street.
So the adjacent competitors
framed plot to put the newcomer
out of business. Next morning their
rival, coming down to open up,
found over Mr.. Dreifus' establish
ment flaming legend, to wit:
BANKRUPT SALE
And above Mr.. Ginsberg's door
was this equally prominent an
nouncement:
CLOSING OUT SALE
Within an hour, smeared across
the entire front of Mr.. Pincus' store,
exactly in between the other two,
appeared a huge sign reading as