The Waterbury Democrat., 1937-05-13

"Speakin' about somnambu- lisrn," began good old Uncle Bill'-in his confiding manner, as much as to say, I do Solemnly swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, why, when I was a boy ev'ry community that set up any pre- tentions at all, had from one to a dozen firSt-clasS Somnambulists, besides raft of small-fry and amateurs; and you were Lontin- ually hearin' about how Aunt Sally rig up in her sleep in tn middle of tn night and stoned an canned bushel of of cher ries, and went back to bed with out waking up or knowing any, thing about it till morning; and how Perkinses' hired-girl come down stairs bright an early Mon- day morning to do tn family washing Lo, and behold! didn't she find it all done beauti- full and hangin' out on tn line? Because she was somnambulist, don't you see, and had done it ln her sleep-And how dumfounded old-man Grimes, the sexton, was the morning he went to the bury ing ground to dig Major Greens grave-and when he got there, what do you suppose? Why, tn Majors grave was all dug, and on top of tn fresh heap of dirt was old-man Grimes oySter-can, full of nice fat angle-worms just as he'd promised to save 'em up for his daughter Tildy's boys to SC fishing coming Saturday-And no end of boys and girls went to bed in those days tetotally dis couraged because their 'rithmetic sums wouldn't come out right and when they'd get up in tn morning, to their utter aston ishment an joy-there they'd be figured out perfectly correct on tn slate Of course all done in their sleep-they being somnam- buhsts.
 And speaking of boys and girls ---one of the most promising ju- venile somnambulists we had when was a little shaver, was Squire Bangs twelve year old son, Oliver. His talents in that direction first came to public mo- tice, by the appearance of the Squire on the street one fine morning with one arm in sling end his face half-covered with court plaster-and the explana- tion given by the Squire.
 "rTwas in tn good old days whrn Horace Greeley's Tribune was shouting the praises and ha.- lelujas of tn West-and urging ev'rybody tp pack up their duds in Q canvass covered wagon and make tracks as fast as ever they could for tn rolling prairies of far.away Ohio and Michigan; and tn emigration fever was rag ing like wild-fire all through New England-and tn whole country was dusty with tn caravans bound for Westward Ho! or Bust!
 50 twas nothing to be won- dered at that little Divers head was chuck-full of visions of bears and Injuns and exciting life on tn frontiers of civilization.
 "On tn evening proceeding the morning aforesaid, of tn Squire's damaged appearance, it appears little Oliver Bangs went to bed tn same as usual in his small cham- Der up under the caves. The oth- CT members of tn household re- tired, as tn saying is, at the cus- tomary hour-and long before midnight tn only sound in tn Squire's house was tn steady ticking of tn grandfather clock; and tn only light was tn soft glow from tn backlog in tn huge fireplace down ill tn old fashioned New England Kitchen.
 But extraordinary things were transpiring up under tn eyes, in little Divers head. It appeared he'd grown up all of a sudden to be young man, and was losing no time in making his arrange ments to emigrate to the West. And proudly he drove away from the scenes of his childhood and old-oaken bucket, etcetera, with all tn neighbor's boys-who, it seemed, hadn't grown up tn same as he had-following his caravan a piece out of town, cheering and hurrahing and giving him a reg ular big Send-off.
 "Then he logged along on his journey-climbing precipices and fording raging cateracts, and los- ing his way in lonesome forests and disma lswamps-till at last he come to tn rolling prairies; and after a heap of prospecting he lit upon a piece of land that seemed exactly to fill tn bill-- best of soil, abundant water, and salubrious climate.
 "So Oliver unhitched his hors- es, unpacked his wagon, pitched his tent-and being in need of rest, rolled himself up in his blan- ket, and with his trusty gun by his side-sand his prayers, and leaving one eye parkway open to watch for bears and Injuns-set- tied down for a calm and peaceful nights repose.
 But twas lucky he left that one eye open for by an by some thing come Sneaking along from away off on tn prairies-and as it come nearer and nearer Oliver recognized tn swarthy figure of a tremendous-big Injun.
 50 Oliver inspected his musket to see if his powder was dry and evrything was all right, and put on a fresh cap, and 'histed' h. gun up to his shoulder, and got bead on tn Injun-and was all ready to fire soon's ever he could see the whites tn savage's eyes same as the way they did at tn battle of Bunker Hill.
 And all tn time tn Injun was sneakin' up closer and closer. Then when the proper moment arrived, Oliver took a good aim and pulled the trigger. But in-