Milford chronicle., 1937-06-04
PUNISHMENT OR PRAIsEi
BY Eleanor Smith

l had planned a simple party 10
Mary Anne's sixth birthday. Most o
her little friends were coming. o
course Mary Anne was highly de
lighted. so I was much surprised T.
find her crying bitterly the day be
fore the big event.
why. Mary Anne, what is the mat
ter?" l questioned.
"Oh, Mummy. Edith isn't coming tC
my party" she sobbed.
Edith was her particular chum.
Not coming?" l said. why is
that?" l tried to speak quietly tC
calm my little daughter.
Her mother won't let her cause
she broke a lot of her best dishes
yesterday. Edith d-dropped the
t-tray!"
Rather drastic punishment, pri-
vately thought. To Mary Anne | re-
piled. "I1l go and see her mother
and perhaps she'll let her come as
a favor to me. Come and ice the lit
tie cakes now. Mary Anne" And,
partly pacified at the thought Of be-
ing allowed to cook, my little girl
went with me to the kitchen.
l did go to see Edith Cartons S
mother. but she would not change
her mind with regard to the party.
Edith was an intelligent child.
rather slow. but painstaking and
loyalty trying to please her mother.
Mrs. Carlton. in turn, was conscien-
tiously trying to do her best for her
little daughter. Edith had her own
room. which she was being taught to
keep tidy. She had her little duties
during the day. and she generally
performed them with care. II was
because she had wanted to be espe-
cially helpful, on one occasion, that
she had carried a tray much too
heavy for her. AS Mary Anne said,
poor Edith had dropped the tray and
the dishes were broken.
Sorry as felt for Edith, l felt
equally sorry for Mrs. Carlton, for
she seemed to try so hard to bring
Edith up properly. Then one day
she mentioned the subject: l had
been secretly dreading this because
the interview which | had had with
her for Mary Anne's sake had proved
so fruitless, and | was sure we did
not see children's mistakes in the
same light.
Il wonder why my daughter is so
so different lately" she said.
Sometimes she seems actually
afraid of me. I've done what
could for her ever since she was
tiny baby. She's healthy and nor
NAL in every way. yet she is not
frank with me. Often she even tells
about things that she knows
she should not have done!"
do you punish herr" asked. l
knew she did. but was anxious to
gain time to find words wise enough
and gentle enough for my answer.
"Of course. have to. What would
she be like if didn't" she retorted
Don't you punish
Mary Anne if she does wrong?"
l weighed my words well. because
here. perhaps. was, where l could
help Edith.
"Only when the wrong thing has
been wilfully DONE" said slowly
1t last.
But suppose your Mary Anne
old you an untruth?" the other per-
sisted.
81 think she never has done that,
md hope she never WILL" l an
,wered. You see. children seldom
ell untruths unless they are afraid. /
hax
md trust you, they will tell the truth /
wen though it shows them to be !
n the wrong. l am not including. of /
,ourse. the high flights of fancy or .
to which all children are .
ubject That is something differ
mt altogether. When the fault of
which you were speaking gets start
ID, praise, not punishment, is the
emedy. A kiss for the overcoming
4 bad habit is better than a dozen
for the same fault"
I paused. half afraid that l had
aid too much.
Then you don't believe in pun
asked Ediths mother.
"At times" hastened to say. fear
ul of being misunderstood. But
hink one should make the punish
tent fit the fault, and if praise or
ersuasion or coincidence will cor
ect the mistake as well. | use them
lstead. find they seldom fail"
A few weeks later Mrs. Carlton
Dnfided to me that my plan was
and that praise and per-
lasion were taking the place of
ANY unnecessary punishments.