davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star., 1937-03-30

FhF EnlN1. Fh1N1 N1lNt. opeCldl tElB
week. room scraped dry cracks filled. with
any paper In my book. also sunfast paper.
S66; do my work; guaranteed. Geo.
PAPERING and painting work auaran-
Columbia s77s. sos Kenyon St nv.
PAPERING, painting; rooms papered 81
osas ef Mss xo!f ss free estimate Call Dist ad d:S1
PAPERING-F1VE ROOMS AND 2-STORY
hall; $40 and up. Quick service. White
mechanics. Call any time. Randolph 344b.
beeT Rc4k l sss an os service sfseDns ss
ccheerfully. Keystone Decorating Co. 3451
PAPERING PAINTINGL,Deal direct with
MECHANIC for better work at lowest prices
Call METZ, Columbia 0396. any time.
PAPERING ROOMS. ? y 3 ns5ed 50 gP; WWoRK x
GEORGE. 5oe oneida pi. NV. Geo. q. ,as4.sa
PAPERHANGING and painting, rooms
saPfafa q Atantc 99 s 100 small work
PAPERHANGING. painting; special this
month .S6.95 with washable and sunfast
paper Of 937; do my own work and guar
antee. Mr.. Spige. Randolph 5937.
PAPERHANGING done at once, S4 room
ship White mechanic Georgia 0024. 80.
RADIO SERVICE.
S0c Service calls. 80 days guar. on
UPHOLSTERING ps,r,ps! Furniture vdTt re-
done in home If desired Weaver, 1434
Newton st, NV. Adams s40l.
LOWEST PRICES FOR
ALL HOME IMPROVEMENTS.
PAPERJNG ELECTRICAL WORK,
CARPENTERING. PAINTING.
In placing your order with US. you are
assured of competent. qualified workman
ship by skilled mechanics. Phone for
estimate
PROPERTY MAINTENANCE CO.,
3503 Georgia Ave. NV.
Adams 1907. Ewes. All. 3O46.
NEW ROOFING PROCESS
EXCLUSIVE WITH SEARS!
Free estimates on all roofing and siding
Jobs new ''Weldtite' process YIELDS all
single shingles down. leaving no parts ex-
posed. workmanship and materials fully
guaranteed; Sears easy terms If desired
Phone Atlantic 1900. Sears Roebuck and
Co. OH Bladensburg rd. ne.
Evening star., 1937-03-30
ROOMS FURNISHED.

THE WESTMINSTER 1907 18th St. NV
Desirable. newly decorated. nicely furn.
rooms: single s. and S6: double. 81.
with bath, SO: showers. elevator.
s34 COLUMBIA RD. N.W.-S5 wk.. sing.
rms; doub, 81, clean, outside; baths:
c.hw.: o min. downtown. Adams 10@l3.
1912 9th ST, NW.-Clean. homeuke; low
rent. steam heat gas range, cleo. silver.
dishes linens. blankets, shower, telephone.
3O'
Evening star., 1937-03-30

PAPERING and painting; work guaran-
teed: rock-bottom prices; looking for work.
Columbia S773. sos Kenyon st. NV.
PAPERING. painting; rooms papered, So;
neat work; So free estimate. Call Dist. 1885
Evening star., 1937-03-30

1913 CALVERT ST. NW.-Master bed
room. shower bath extension telephone.
Evening star., 1937-03-30

PORTLAND HOTEL, Vermont ave al
Thomas C!rc!e-SlO Uk.. hotel service.
fresh towels daily. your mail and phone calls
attended to; shower baths walk to WORK.
2327 Pa. AVE NV. TAT Wash, Circle
Light housekeeping and sleeping rooms,
phone; -, 81 and s. WeeE.
Evening star., 1937-03-30

ANTIQUE FURNITURE. chairs tables.
chests desk. china. glass. silver. brlc-a-
brac mirrors frames EdelSOn. 6lS 9TH n W
Evening star., 1937-03-30

9l6 QUINCY ST. NW.-Attractive room.
priyate home After 4 30
Evening star., 1937-03-30

BILLIARD AND POOL TABLES all sizes:
| supplies repairing ping-pong tables and
| accessories. Conn. $40 9th st. NV. Dis. All
| BOOKKEEPING SYSTEM complete. $50;
| quick, easy; good for 10 years; modern,
Evening star., 1937-03-30

PAY AS YOU LEARN.
Write Hemphill Diesel Schools. ONCE of
Registrar Mr. Dave Miller, 921 Emerson
st. NV STATE AGE. 81
Evening star., 1937-03-30

1854 COL. RD.-Single and double rooms.
running water; outside rooms; newly deco
rated; also Groom apt. suitable for BACH
elor or couple Adams 1888 30
Evening star., 1937-03-30

BOYS BICYCLE new and modern
equipped with spotlight, bell and basket
cost S35. will sacrifice for SIS. 222S
Genrpia ave "
Evening star., 1937-03-30

CAFE beer, wine: catering better-class
patrons; good bus; price. SO. 500. terms.
Addres Box 4s2-M. Star office.
LOCAL FOOD DISTRIBUTOR for Six
O'Clock Dessert. Must cover city. Address
Roy 100-M Star office
Evening star., 1937-01-12

was taken for granted that he
would get inside.
His heyday was the heyday of
Tex Rickard and Dempsey and the
million-d dollar gate. His good eye
generally could be seen Offering on
the fringe Of crowds where sports
celebrities gathered.
Sometimes he would think up
odd-and unnecessary-jobs that
would give some plausibility to his
being around. His favorite work"
was to serve as a sort of water boy
to the writers in the press box. The
gentlemen of the press. Connolly
found. were nice people to know
when one wanted to get into some
thing without paying.
As time went on, One-Eyed
Connolly's gate crashing was taken
for granted. Promoters were even
giving him complimentary tickets.
This, of course, took all the luster
out of the business, and the middle
aged, bespectacled gate crasher lost
his news appeal.
Evening star., 1937-01-12
Extos Pro Grid Virtues Compassionate 10th Golf Teaser
It's Boys and Girls Together
In Old Hoya Stars Gym Class
BY the Associated Press.

BY the ASSOClaIeo FIcso'
~ ANSAS CITY. Mo.-Dowagers'
II calves grow trim and busi-
n ness mems paunches melt
L ~ away like butter in the gym
nasium of the Kansas City Athletic
Club, where DR.. Joseph A. Reilly is
pioneering in mixed" gym classes.
Shrewd, ruddy-faced Reilly, when
membership in his physical education
classes gave a hint of waning, found
a remedy in getting the boys and
girls" to do their dumbbell lifting
together.
Now society girls, stenographers,
lawyers, doctors. students and mer-
chants bend willing muscles to the
droning one-two-three-four" eXer-
ciSes led by the clubs physical in
structor-one-time Georgetown sprint
king and foot ball star.
When the men and women were
in separate classes, they went through
the drills liStlessly," says Reilly.
Nov they take more interest in the
exercises and get real workout.
The mixed class changed exercise
from work to play. They used to go
to gym class from sense of duty.
Now they 60 because they have a
good time"
Reilly, veteran A. A. u. official,
sees mixed gym classes as the finan-
cial salvation of athletic clubs.
Men and women play tennis and
golf together and swim together on
the beaches" he argues, ''and there's
no reason why they shouldn't go to
gym classes together. 1t peps up the
classes immeasurably"
The K. C. A. c. mixed class meets
Evening star., 1937-01-12
A. A. U. COURT PLAY
is SLATED AT TECH
Event to Decide Team to Make
Trip to Denver Will Start
ON February Is.

TECH HIGH SCHOOLS gymnasium
will be the scene of the annual
A. A. u. basket ball tournament which
will be held earlier than usual this
year. The first game will be played
on February Is. with entries closing
four days earlier.
A trip to Denver to represent the
District in the national A. A. q. tour
nsment is the prize plum being offered
the winner of the unlimited cham
pionship. George Washington Uni
versity's freshmen quint won that title
last Winter, but the Rinaldi Tailors,
now playing as w. P. A.. were sent
to Denver when the champions were
unable TO go.
Entries should be sent to the Wash
ington Boys Club, 230 C street north
west. A registration fee Of 25 cents
is required in addition to team en-
trance fees of 81 for l30-pound teams
and under and $3.50 for teams over
1870 pounds.
Evening star., 1937-01-12
. MASONIC BOWLERS
WAGE KEEN BATTLE
Leading Barristers Are Pressed
Hetly by Four Teams, With
IL Matches Rolled.

EOUR teams in the Masonic Bowling
League are within two and a
half games of the league-leading Bar
risters today after IA matches have
failed to develop a single clear-cut
leader in the 32-team loop.
Naval and Lebanon, No. l, virtually
tied for second. are only 112 games
behind the pace settlers. while Gen.
tennial and Whiting, deadlocked for
fourth, are 2la games back. Bar
rister leads the procession with .714
percentage, having taken 80 games
and lost II.
Last weeks best shooting was done
by the twelfth-place King David team
which established a season team set
record of 1,777. Harbour led the
record breakers with a l55 game and
381 set Charlie Phillips also had a
155 game, but his set was 10 sticks
lower than Harbour's.
Evening star., 1937-01-12

No one seems to know just how
he happened to seek fame in this
odd manner. It may have been
purely initiative, for One Eye
Connolly was not the original gate
crasher. That honor belonged to
James Connolly. also one-eyed, who
came to the States from England
nearly so years ago, and did some
high and fancy gate crashing long
before the word itself was coined.
The original One-Eyed Connolly
Immediately attached himself to
sporting circles upon his arrival In
New York and simply took it for
granted that he should be admitted
to all athletic contests. Nobody
could think up reasons for saying
mo" fast enough, and it got to be
q habit. Even when offered free
ticket he would spurn 1t, taking
the viewpoint that any one can
walk in with ticket. He preferred
to enter on the strength Of his own
personality.
They say that ct the corbstt.
Evening star., 1937-01-12
One-Eyed Connolly Fades Cate-Crashing King
Around Have Lost Interest

Fitzsimmons fight In Carson City,
New, in 1897 there was more bet
ting on whether Connolly would
crash the gate" than there was on
who would win the fight. He
crashed it.
Once, in the days when fighting
was an outlaw enterprise, a match
was being held in an Indiana
church, the contestants being Billy
Myers and Jack McAuliffe. AS the
crowd sneaked in and found seats
a brick sailed through a window.
DO not be alarmed" the pro-
moter said. picking up the brick,
"it Is just calling card from One
Eyed Connolly, who seemingly has
been rebuffed at the entrance. Let
him in and the fight will proceed" !"
One-Eyed Connolly the second,
however, always has been gentle in
his approaches. Some people be-
lieve he may have lost his enthu-
siasm for sport. Certainly he has
been much less In evidence than he
vss . decade aso.
Evening star., 1937-01-12

put District Engineers over against
Schedule.
Ed Nash and his Big Print Shop
hogged all the scoring honors in the
graphic Arts League. Ed shot l49 and
385 to top of 573 and 1920. Pleased
was he when Auggie Noack. league
scorer, presented him with wallet
and free meal ticket, donation Of
Sholl's Cafe, for the leagues high
game of the night. Chick Heimers
leading Progressive Printing team
pulled away from Judd & Detweiler
when the former swept Commercial
ONCE while the latter was able to win
but two tilts from Caslon-Simonds.
Arville EberSole. secretary OF the
Washington City Duckpin Association.
today had the pleasure Of adding the
name of the American Federation Of
Government Employees League to his
long list of leagues rolling On Capital
drives this season.
Inaugurating its season around the
twilight hour Of last evening at Lucky
Strike, the new l2-club loop tilted the
number of mems leagues to 264. Three
capable bowling enthusiasts were
elected officers. with La Rue E. Tanner
as president, Charles C. Caldabaugh,
secretary, and c. NJ. Van Hoesen,
scorer.
DR.. William Cushard, leading his St.
Elizabeths team to 81 victory over
Internal Revenue No. 2, stole the first
nights rolling with a bang-up 362.
His games were 1877, lot and 1913. On
the opposing team Gordon's l29 and
333 were tops. Tariff Commission and
w P. A. were off to clean sweeps,
whitewashing Procurement and In
ternal Revenue No. l, respectively, as
Mark Aloertson with III and 321 led
the former victory and Higgins 123
and Hogan's BIT featured the latter'S.
Public Health rollers winning two
games from Veterans Administration
took team game honors with 572 as
Fords 13l and Prizes l26 piled up the
naples Compensation Commission
with Goodacre's 125 and Eckert's 323
leading downed Labor Lodge No. II
twice.
The Normans will try their luck as
pace-setters in the Procurement
League at least for a week. Some five
or six teams have bounced in and out
of the lead in the merry pennant chase
already this season. Bill Lowen Of the
Ionics was the top shooter with l4l
and 366 as his club defeated the
Romans the odd-game skirmish. Team
high game went to the Orientals with
571.
Shorty Moye has again popped up
with the big counts In the Southern
Railway Clerks Leagues Monday night
rolling. The famed sandlotter shot
l42 and 365 to feature Paymasters
1858 team total.
Evening star., 1937-01-12
Fights Last Night
By the Associated Press.

By the Associated Press.
BUFFALO.-Joe Louis, 20912, De-
troit, knocked out Stanley Ketcheil,
ZIG. Bloomfield. N. j. (2).
NEW ORLEANS.-Jack Terrence,
e5912, New Orleans, knocked out John
Saxon, 205%, Beaumont, Tex. %.
BALTIMORE Howard Scott
I341a. knocked out Eddie zivic, 1924
Pittsburgh (2).
NEW YORK.-Paulie Walker. l5OH
Trenton, N. j., outpointed Joe Pen
nino, 146, Brooklyn 80.
PROVIDENCE, R. I. - Freddie
Camuso, 142, Providence, outpointeo
Alex de Angelo, 14o, Marlboro (s)
Paris APIECE, 1877. Providence, defeated
Mickey Paul, 143, New York 90.
PLAINFIELD, N. J.-Bucky Jones
143, Morristown, N. j., outpointet
Dewey Anderson, 142, New York 90
Mike Piskin, 140, Freehold, N. j.
outpointed Louis (Kid) Manuel, 14o
Cuba (e).
Evening star., 1937-01-12
Varsity Quints

Georee washington, So: Elons "a.
Duouesne. SO; Catholic u. -33.
Long Island, "a: La Sale, 30.
C. C. NJ z, %: WAYNE u, 27.
Manhattan: So: Niagara. AZ.
Navy, SO: Baltimore, z.
WASHINGTON & Lee. 81: Virginia. 20.
North Carolina, So: " M. T.. 20.
North Carolina State, 81: Clemson, 20.
Virginia Tech, 36: william and Mary.
Mississippi State, 80: Duke. 20.
Tulane. A: Louisiana Tech. "A.
Wake Forest, 81: Roanoke. 26.
Marshall. 56:- Union, IS.
Purdue, IS; Iowa. 81.
Minnesota. 30; Chicago. %.
Michigan "a: Northwestern. 81.
Ohio State, 2S: Wisconsin. ".
Illinois, 40: Indiana. 81.
Washington State, %: OREGON state; 70.
North DAKOTA u. 30: south Dakots
Southern Illinois Teachers. %.
Be Paul. 10; ST. Louis o.. 23.
North Central. 20: Lake Forest. II,
Moorhead Teachers, 2S: Concordia,, Fl.
Minnesota "B" 81: Gustavus Adolphus.
Albion, 90: Battle Greek. rs.
Kalama zoo. "a: Alma. "A.
Olivet, 81; Hope. 80 (oyertimeD. al
COLLEGE OF Charleston: 81: Furman, %.
University of Louisville, 80: Hanover
Moorhesd. 35: Kentucky wesleyan. 20.
Western Kentucky. 40: Beres. p;
High Poipt College. %; Appalachish
Evening star., 1937-01-12
Winter Conservation Plans.

60 FAR the Winter has not been very
severe nor has it harmed game tc
any extent, but there will be plenty
snow and ice between now and April
and as usual it is expected to take its
toll of wild life. The past two Winters
were unusually hard, especially the lat
ter part of last Winter, and birds and
game suffered greatly.
The cold is not the worst. When ice
and snow cover every bit Of seeds, ber-
ries and grass, birds have nothing tc
eat when the need is the most pressing
The colder the weather the more they
must eat to keep warm and supply the
extra energy to escape their natural
enemies.
In three States in which We
are most Observation-Disclosures
Virginia and West Virginia.
movements have been started to
feed and conserve wild life dur.
ing the expected cold season.
A member of the Maryland State
Game and Fish Protective Association
has offered silver cup to be awarded
to the boy or girl who does the best
work in Maryland in feeding and pro-
tecting bob white. quail, partridgeS
ruffed grouse. pheasants, doves anc
other game birds. In Virginia a meet
ing will be held this week to form a
wild-life federation, and West Vir-
ginia has offered bounty for the kill.
ing of vermin.
Nationwide efforts along this line
also have been made recently. To ai6
constituted law enforcement authori.
ties in their efforts to stamp out the
crime of game bootlegging, wild-life
racketeering and other law violations
the American Wild Life Institute has
started law enforcemut fund.
Founder of the fund is Maj. Max C
Fleischmann He has been joined by
Eltinge F. Warner, publisher of Fielc
and Stream, and Frank L. Cheek.
Evening star., 1937-01-12
Clarke
Continued From Eighteenth Paee)


key pin swept across the alley and
felled the two there. One maple re-
mained up.
Nick Nearly Does 1t.
A TENSE silence fell upon the place
and Astor Clarke's heart, he says,
stopped beating as an errant pin flop
ped back onto the drive and headed
for the standing stick. If it connected
Nick Tronsky would collect $1,000 in
stead of $500 and A. Clarke, maybe,
would land in psychopathic ward.
1t missed by scant half inch, and
Clarke was in with the the big prize
by a margin of one piece of wood.
Clarke's triumph was deserved. Vir-
tually counted out when he finished
the first set more than 100 pins be-
hind the leader, he shot 1877 in the
second five to place near the top. And
here was singular coincidence. Be-
fore the tournament, asked to pre-
dict his score, Clarke laughed: We'll,
I'd like to shoot 1877 in one of the
blocks"
Another oddity: Ray Won Dreele of
Baltimore guessed the winning score
to pin.
Clarke was on the spot in more
ways than one in the Waterbury
tournament. Many of the New Eng
landers raised howl when the Wash
ington ace instead of Wally Pipp of
Connecticut was ranked No. last sea-
son by the National Duckpin Bowling
Congress.
Clarke Is Vindicated.
THERE" remarked the critics with
scorn as Astor opened the classic
Saturday with a nleasly 604, "is your
No. bowler!"
Clarke was aware of this feeling when
he started the second block. but it
didn't bother him, he'll tell you. What
held his thoughts was q slight change
he planned in his delivery. In the
first set his ball rode too squarely into
the head pin, resulting in numerous
splits.
I'm the second block" he explained
today, II threw the ball harder and
with an extra snap of the wrist, which
eliminated some of the bend and drew
the ball into the right-hand pocket.
This got results. I looked at lot of
single-pin breaks after the change"
What did he do with the thousand?
You guessed 1t, brother. Mrs. A.
Clarke has 1t.
Evening star., 1937-01-12

1NWO local college f1Ves were
catching their breaths today.
George Washington from run
- ming itself ragged piling up a
55-24 victory over Elon in its own
band box on H street last night and
Catholic University from futile efforts
to stop a fast Duquesne aggregation,
which hung 1888 sinner on the
Cards. 1t was C. us first defeat.
Despite the defeat of the home
team, the game at Brookland proved
interesting to watch, as Hermie
Schmarr, high scorer of District COL
lege teams for the past two seasons,
led an attack which not only kept his
quint in the game but actually had
the Cards leading at intermission.
Taking advantage Of three substi-
tutes in the visitors starting lineup,
c. U. got off to an early lead, which
had more than 1000 fans anticipating
an upset as the score mounted to 1l-9
in the Cards favor. Even with all
the regulars inserted, DuqueSne proved
unable to overcome those two points.
Gets IL Points in Row.
nUQUESNE'S second = half squirt,
which found it scoring II points
before the Cards could find the basket
again, changed the whole complexion
of the game.
1t was the most prolonged scoring
spree seen here this season and fea-
tured a fast, mystifying passing at
tack which continually got the be-
wildered Cards out of position.
A small blond. Bonn, proved C. US
chief nemesis, caging the ball seven
times from the floor and once from
the free stripe for IS points to tie
Schmarr for individual honors.
Although Ed KWeller. the Dukes
6-foot-5 center, came third in scoring
after teammate, Dresmich, his elor,-
gated frame gave the visitors every
tap-off. Brown. C. us center, was
half foot shorter.
c. US freshmen five swamped
Mount st. JoSeph's Of Baltimore, 34-l6,
in q prelirniparv
Evening star., 1937-01-12

PROFESSIONAL foot ball today is
- q highly organized, carefully ad-
ministered game played by thorough
ly trained experts and backed by re-
liable, experienced business men.
This is the professional foot ball
which is superior to the established
college game.
The most conclusive proof is the
all-star game played in Chicago an
nually the last three years. The
finest players in June graduating
classes compose the all-star squads.
In the opinion of the millions of fans
whose votes elect the players to the
squad, they are the true all-Ameri-
cas-.
A great many of the countryS lead
ing coaches readily admit that the
all-stars are as much as two touch
downs better than the strongest col
lege elevens. Yet two ties in three
games is the best they have been able
to do against the National League
representatives,
Evening star., 1937-01-12
BY DALE HARRISON.

n YEW YORK, January IL [P.-
nj You see him, now and then,
" In the vicinity Of Eighth
avenue and Forty-ninth
street.-The area of Madison Square
Garden, of Jack Dempsey's and
Mickey Walkers taverns; but "One-
eyed" Connolly isn't crashing gates
with his old-time dash and verve.
Time was when no sporting event
amounted to anything except as
One-Eyed Connolly designed to
give 1t his personal gate-crashing
attention. 1t actually got to be a
distinction to have the fat and
often unshaven face of Mr.. Con-
molly around.
Sports writer's found him good
"copy" for awhile. Then he palled.
There was zest in the mans pitting
his empty purse against the for
bidding turnstiles and the hard
hearted ticket-takers; but he sue
eeeded so frequently in the face of
overwhelming odds that finally 1t
Evening star., 1937-01-12
Enough to Worry Name" Golfer.

ITS the toughest par 4 on that good
golf course, where the Middle At
lantic amateur championship will be
played come next June. Even the
second hole, generally ranked as one
Of the best around Washington, isn't
any tougher than the tenth, for you
can reach the second green with a
tee shot far TO the left, while hooked
tee shot into the rough at the tenth
leaves a shot which only a Jones or
Hagen could play with any COM
placency.
A few holes like the tenth at Con-
gressional and the seventeenth at
Chevy Chase put on championship
golf courses would have the big-name
golfers scratching their heads and
wondering what the game is all about.
Sandy Armour used to claim the
tenth was the best hole on the course.
and while Roland Mackenzie. the
present Congressional pro. doesn't go
quite that far (Roland thinks all the
holes are good) he regards the tenth
as one of the best,
Evening star., 1937-01-12
They Live Foot Ball.

lust as there are no limitations
on the source of professional ma
terial, there are no restrictions on the
amount Of preparation professional
clubs can undergo. The players have
made full-time job of foot ball.
The Chicago Bears are on the field
every morning at 9 O'Clock. If nee
essary, they can be drilled eight hours
. day. Three nights week they are
required to attend lectures. In their
of time they are free to concentrate
on their job, which is foot ball. There
are no exams or dirty dishes in a
fraternity house kitchen to divert their
attention.
This concentration is typical of all
National League teams. Little wonder
they are superior to college teams. I'll
give more reasons and examples in
an article following this one.
fCopyrisht. Ledger Syndicate, World
rights reserved. Reproduction in whole
or in part prohibited without permission)
Evening star., 1937-01-12

three times week for half an hour.
Members play dart" tennis and
other games before and after class
begins.
Glass exercises are broadcast over
local radio station. Members
range in age from l6 to so. Ten
per cent are married. Standard gym
shorts" are worn by both sexes.
Evening star., 1937-01-12
Bears Qualified to Coach.

ONE of professional foot balls chief
advantages is personnel. A COL
lege coach feels he is as rich as
Rockefeller if he has four all-America
prospects as a nucleus for his team.
If he has five or six, he-as we'll as
any of his rivals-thinks it is fake.
A professional team starts with as
many as % superb players.
Scouts keep coaches informed on
the outstanding prospects throughout
the country. If guard or halfback
position is weak. the professional
coach Immediately hires an expert
enced man whose ability has been
proved. If Elmer Layden, Bob Zuppke
or any other member of the vast COL
lege coaching fraternity needs a
guard all he can do is pray that a
freshman will come through for next
Fall. In the meantime, he must fill
the gap with a spare end or halfback
Professional players have mastered
fundamentals long before they report.
They are the postgraduate students
of foot ball. Every member of the
Chicago Bears is qualified to coach a
college team.