The Waterbury Democrat., 1937-01-04

AB4"HU
Your
Children

Don't let girls get crusfes on
other girls. The friendship that
ties too tightly Is neither broaden
ing nor generally beneficial from
any point Of view.
Both boys and girls need pals, 1t
Is true--a chuin like another self
who understands them, who has
the same interests and all that. II
Is a great comfort to the human
heart TO have q confidante at hand.
one who rs willing TO play Jonathan
TO our David when necessary, and
one whom, In turn, we love 80 dear
ly that we are ready for any sac
rifice. 1t satisfies all those things
In the soul that we seem TO need.
But the perpetual proximity Of
our other self Is often smother
ing" And 1t is the same with chill
dren. They can as easily take on
the color of the stronger personal-
ity, II such Is the case, and In time
lose individuality altogether. When
two spirits are together always, one
Is likely to pale and the other 10
increase In color. Adults, ike 'hus-
bands and wives, have experience
to save them, but children have
none. Children need more diversity
Of compromising than do adults.
Tends 70 Anu-social Habits
Sensitive children are more likely
than others TO annex the single
chum. 1t Is a sort Of escape. The
sympathetic friend Is always there
to soothe and excuse. In one way,
the idea Is not bad, because 1t sets
the shy one up In business and es-
tablishes courage. 1t Is used by psy-
biologists TO develop the insure
child. But 1t should be passing
phase, more or less. II permitted,
the child will continue to shut out
the world of other people, and re-
main anti-social while induIging his
craving for friendship with her, or
his, pal.
think II an excellent idea to
encourage the child TO associate
with many other children. He Is
less likely TO get fixed ideas about
those he Is comfortable with and
those he can't endure. We find 1t
In our own lives. How many times
VIC Jump to conclusions about a
person, and declare we can't stand
him. Then, some fine day we are
forced to his company, to find that
he Is friendly and fine, TO our
amazement and secret shame.
Girls Affected Most
Little girls are more prone to the
exclusive friendship than boys.
Not always, OF course. And while
I have no wish TO criticise 1t or to
put an end to a beautiful loyalty,
1t seems to me that mothers might
try to take stock OF the whole pic
turc. Are both girls neglecting other
opportunities for friendship because
OF each other? Have they learned
to share thought so completely that
they cannot even study alone, or
enjoy movie away from their
shadows? Have they lost the abil-
ity to make up their minds without
consulting each other? rs one slow
ly dominating her chum? Is the
other losing her individuality? DO
they suffer as keenly for each 9TH
er's troubles as for their own? Will
they sacrifice for each other things
they would protest doing for their
families?
Time changes these crushes and
little harm is done, as q usual
thing. But the months are fieeting;
they are narrowing, not expanding,
and once the chum habit Is formed
the growing child or adolescent can
not, be happy without one special
pal. II he has one the rest OF the
world can wait. And 1t may some
day keep him waiting.
Copyright 1895, NEA Service. Inco