Evening star., 1937-05-13
Child Needs
of
S e c u ri y
Parents Should Make
Effort to Strengthen
Relationship.
BY ANGELO PATRI.

IF YOUR children were shopping
for parents would they select you?
That seems to me to be a perfectly
fair question to ask and for parents
to answer according to their con-
science. A good father and good
mother ought to be elected unan-
imously by their children. When
there is any doubt about that 1t Is
time for the parents to take stock Of
themselves and make new start.
I am NOT suggesting that parents
buy their children's affection. Even
if that were possible it would be un-
thinkable. What children want is
feeling Of certainty, q sturdy faith, an
abiding trust in the love and wisdom
OF their parents.
Children are just in their judg-
ments most OF the time They are
quick to recognize selfless service.
They are just as quick to detect and
resent selfish exactions. They are
keen-minded and see through decep-
ton easily and are on the jump to
denounce it. They respect honesty
and fair dealing wherever they find
it. They need and want affection and
spiritual support, and accept both
with grateful eagerness.
Children make allowances for those
they love, very generous allowances.
Mother was tired. She had head
ache" well, dad has a lot to
bother him" Anyway he's my dad
an6 I'm for him." Loyalty is one of
the strong characteristics of child
hood and youth. So is idealism. Chill
dren idealiEe those whom they love,
and they want to love their parents
devotedly and to be pround Of them.
Given that background-au Of 1t
favorable to the parents-it would
seem that selling themselves to their
children ought to be about the easiest
thing parents have to do. And 1t Is.
That is why 1t seems 50 clearly the
parents fault when children turn
from them.
Falling back on parental authority
should be the last resource, an emer-
gency measure, yet one finds parents
whose feelings are hurt by their chill
dren's apparent desire to have done
with them, using no other appeal
than. because I want you to. You
do as say. That's all there is to It,"
Using the emotional appeal is an
other sort Of tyranny that makes
children try to escape their parents.
Tears and pleadings to save moth
er's weak heart, mothers love, moth
er's feelings, are unfair. They only
harden the childs heart and turn him
away.
Appeals for gratitude in opposition
TO child's wish and will are another
mean form of tyranny. after all
I have sacrificed, suffered and en-
dured for your sake you want to break
my heart and marry this person who
Is utterly unfit. I can't believe you
will do this to me-" Gould anything
be more selfish than that? Or more
futile?
Children are people with the same
feelings, desires, hopes and fears as
other people. They have . life to
live. The great difference between
them and their parents is that they are
weak and inexperienced and more or
less helpless. II parents serve their
children's needs In selfiess devotion,
with hope for the childrens growth
and success If they discipline the chill
dren in honesty. sincerity and love,
the children remain with them to the
and even though oceans divide them
IN distance. Selling oneself to the
children is the easiest thing one can
do. Just set about 1t In the right
way.
CCopyright, 1879