The Waterbury Democrat., 1937-04-19

Boston, April 19-(UP)-Figuring that all work and no plagiarism would make Jack Chats the name of the fellow who does most of my work for mel a dull boy, Itold him not to try and figure out how the major league baseball teams would finish this year, but to steal his in- formation from the country's some 10000 experts.
 That was month or so ago, when the high-powered critics started writing those analytical articles which always read like this: <
 ''Wall be up there challenging for thef1ag," Manager Butch Barker of the Beldington Terriers said today, "if-if-if-if-if-if." The "ifs" always included the possibility of four rookie pitchers winning 85 games between them, a recruit outfielder finding major league pitching sim pie and hitting 50 points better than he did in the bushes, and the regular shortstop getting permis- sion from Landis to use a fish net ln place Ol 8 glove.
 Jack eagerly accepted my sugges-' tinon of plagiarism and begin clip- ping out articles at mad pace. Yesterday he wired me, saying he had learned. exclusively the major leagues were to start play today, and I had better come at once and start assembling the material.
 Satisfied
 To come to Boston today suited me fine, because of two reasons. In the first place, it's Patriots day and my family has probably led the league in patriotism since 1t came here from Tibet a generation back. For proof of that you have only to turn to the records of the World war. Of my nine uncles, only two failed to respond when his name came up in the draft. And the seven who went out, chins up, bugles blowing, compiled valorous records in the veterinary corp.
 In the second place, welcomed visit to Boston because they run marathon here as part of the Patriots day celebration, and |. if there is one thing in the world that have 8 passion for it's a marathon race. There are few sights calculated to make the pulse beat faster, the hair get more on tip-toe, than 8 fiat-footed gentleman pant ing over cobblestoned street after 26-mile run through the most ob- jectionable part of the suburbs Hair matted, face streaming, pants at half-mast, arches and ankles bark ing for mercy, Q marathon runner is brave, fine sight. I'm going to see that one today or bust-so don't be surprised if you hear a dull boom some time this afternoon. It will only be me bursting.
 But to get back to my man Jack and my baseball selections. He had lantern hanging in steeple to let me know where to meet him, and the place was the Boston Com mona happy, choice, thought, in view of the fact that we had stolen our information. We spread out the clippings and a picnic lunch and were busily digesting both when a policeman came along and asked us what we were doing. explained. and he asked me where planned to place the Boston Bees.
 NO worse than fourth place." I answered. hoping to please him so that he would not molest us.
 You're putting, the Bees fourth?" he said.
 .That's right" I answered, @and may see my way clear to lift them to third place"
 "Well, come along with me-" he said. @f thought you were looney when saw you sitting over here playing with those paper dolls. Now |I know vou arc. Say. thooe Bees