The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1937-12-09

said:
LET the older brother apportion
the property into what he regards
as two equal shares-and then let
the younger brother have first
choice Of the shares"
But, of course, the lawyers
couldn't have favored the plan. 1t
was too beautifully simple to suit
any lawyer in any age. The Ameri-
can Bar association would just nat
urally despise it.
Cemetery Statesmen.
T RECEIVED a letter from one of
our plushiest cemeteries. We
have some of the plushiest GENE
teries on earth; it's positive pleas
ure to be dead out here.
was urged to invest in highly
desirable lot, for only few thou
sand smackers; or buy perfectly
lovely crypt-slightly more expen-
sive, but most luxurious.
Through some private whim or
pique, failed to answer this tempt
ing communication. Today / re-
ceived an appealing follow-up let
ter. I gather that, if neglect this
splendid opportunity, I'll live to re-
gret it. Or maybe ! won't.
Such thoughtful attention merits
response. I'm replying as follows:
Dear gents: Space in grave
yard is the last thing shall require.
When that time comes, somebody
else will do the shopping. Trusting
these few lines may find you the
same, yours gratefully"
But if a representative calls in per-
son-as he within gone gosling.
Those slick takers always do get
me. You just ought to see my col
lection of oil stocks. Now, there's
something that does need burying.
Making Juleps.
COME disputatious soul seeks to
- reopen the ancient debate over
the proper recipe for mint julep. I
decline the invitation. Since the
bred Scot decision nothing has
stirred up as much bitter contro-
versy south of the Ohio river.
North of the Ohio river doesn't
count. The Yankee conception of a
julep is calculated to make a host
of sleeping Kentucky brigadiers rise
up from their respective Bourbon
casks and start giving the rebel
hiss.
Naturally, the only perfect iulep is
the Paducah julep. Just drop In
next summer and sample the real
product on its native heath-not at
a saloon, where the bartender is
likely to have heretical ideas, such
as using preserved fruits and even
putting the sugar syrup in first,
which amounts to downright crime
but in the private home.
Western Superiority.
IN BORNEO, tigers STAY such an
incredible host of natives that the
yearly mortality is proportionately
almost one-tenth as great as the
average number of persons who will
be wiped out in traffic fatalities on
American highways during any CIV
en- IL months.
In India, owing to the refusal of
those benighted Hindus to destroy
any living creature, 10000 inhabi-
tants annually are killed by venom
GUS serpents, whereas, in this coun-
try, in 1886, we spent only Is billions
for crime, or Is times as much as
| we spent on national defense, yet
managed to let many poisonous hui
man snakes 60 free to build up muir
der statistics.
In Japan, geisha girls are govern
mentally licensed and protected,
which is indeed an affront to the
principles of an enlightened people
| who patronize so-called worlds fairs
that are dependent on unabashed
nudity for popular favor, and shows
dependent on foul lines and nasty
situations.
IRWIN S. COBB.
Copyright.-WNU Service.
500 Women at Science Meet