The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1937-09-03

they call him the astronomer roy
al. which, by coupling it with the
royal family, naturally gives astron-
onny a great social boost in England
and admits it to the best circles.
He says the moon is clear off its
mathematically prescribed course.
Cash Versus I. o. us.
n My few weeks ago the front
" pages were carrying dis
patches saying the adjustment OF
Great Britain's defaulted debt was
Just around the corner. Economists
and financiers had discussed terms
of settlement. Figures were quoted
mainly figures calling for big re
auctions on our part, but never mind
that. They were figures anyhow.
Lately the papers have been
strangely silent on the subject. Per
haps you remember the old story
told on the late John Sharp VIII
lianns, who frequented a game at
Washington where sportive states
men played poker for heavy stakes
mostly with those quaint little fic-
tional products called I. O. us as
mediums of exchange.
Early one morning fellow sena-
tor met the famous Mississipplan
coming from an all-night session.
81 certainly mopped up" he pro-
claimed =, II won So, 0o0-and what's
more, $8.75 of it was in cash."
-ls.esttel, ss"af r.
Autumn Millinery.
lust as the poor. hewildered
- males are becoming reconciled
to the prevalent styles in women's
hats, up bobs a style creator IN New
York warning us that what we've
thus far endured is merely a fore
taste of what's coming. In other
words, we amt seen nothin'!
For autumn, he predicts a
quaint number with slanted peak
fifteen inches high, which, I take
it, will make the wearer look like
a refugee trying to escape from I'M
der a collapsing pagoda.
Another is a turban entirely COM
HOSGu VI lOOStClz ACodASto
A matching coat of rooster feath-
ers goes with this design. But in
the old days they used hot tar.
A third model features for its top
hamper series of kalsomine
brushes sticking straight up. Nat
urally, the hat itself will initiate a
barrel of whitewash.
But the gem of all is dainty
globular structure of Scotch plaid.
Can you imagine anything more be-
coming to your lady wife than an
effect suggesting that she's balanc-
ing a hot-water bag on her brow?
81 F
4 'sMcGuffeyisms."
THE Acknowledgements of Ohio
L urges a return to 'McGuffey-
ISM for settling modern problems.
Twas in a McGuffey reader that
I met those prize half-wits of lit
erature-the Spartan boy who let
the fox gnaw his vitals; the chuckle-
headed youth who stood n-the burn
ing deck; the congenial idiot who
climbed an alp in midwinter while
wearing nothing but a night shirt
and carrying, banner labeled eek
celsior'' in order to freeze to death;
the skipper who, when the ship was
sinking, undertook to calm the pas
sengers by-but wait, read the inn
mortal lines:
1--WE are lostl'' the captain shouted,
AS he staggered down the stair.
And then the champion of all-the
Dutch lad who discovered leak
in the dyke so he. stuck his wrist in
the crevice and all night stayed
there. In the morning, when an
early riser came along and asked
what was the general idea, the
heroic urchin said-but let me quote
the exact language of the book: 1
"'I am hindering the sea from
running in was the simple reply of
the child" r,-
Simple? I'll tell the world!
Nothing could be simpler except an
authority on hydraulics who figures
that, when the Atlantic ocean starts
boring through. a crack in a mud
wall, you can hold it back by using
one small Dutch boys arm for a
stopper. % "a
l0sl 4dA IRWIN S. COBB.
e@WesteEn Newspaper Union. eI
Bamboo Largest Of Grasses