Milford chronicle., 1937-04-23
By GEORGE ADE

First Nighter for 30 long that now
the Piece wouldn't ring up unless
he was TO the Front fsow.
IF you think you are getting a
raw Deal. look at me-" he said TO
the visiting TurDip Grower. "Jnst
because toll like a Turk Gll bay.
| am supposed to hurry out about
ESQ r. NJ. seeking any kind of re-
laxing Entertainment SO lung as
II is Noisy. Senseless and moderate
ly Indecent. What do l wish to do?
Go home and play Chess. What
must do? Get right down In the
Talcum Powder Zone, next to the
big Fiddle, and explode with LsHgh-
ter st all the Wheezes which Happy
Cal Wagner pulled in Sandusky in
1883"
THE SHEIK SPEAKS
How about having one Foot In
the Grave and being compelled to
dance with the Other 0ne?" asked
the Devilish Old Lady.
Not Circumstance" exclaimed
the Sheik. Because I gut some
Patent Leather Polish on my natu-
rally dark Hair and attended few
Parties they branded me Lizard.
am just n Young FELLOW trying to
find little Sunshine In a Ngrl,i
oyerhung with the dark clouds Of
Restrictive Legislation and, natural
ly, 1t is embarrassing to be regard
ed as Society Problem.
II doubt II l. am any more de-
PRAYED than my. Grand-Dad who
took Apple Jack and carried a lis
tol or my respectable Fsfher who
owned Trotting Horses and knew
how to deal Faro. Youth has al
ways taken its Fling bat Youth
never had any ective Press Agents
until it became fashionable 10 peek
over TransOms. work the Key Hole
and try to regulLte the, Affairs. OF
Every One Else. ssss5
Remember. IL is not very long
since Collegians. who are now weep
ing over a lost Universe, had kes
Parties on the Campus. AT present.
II stay ont until after Midnight
md then eat Ham and Eggs. some
Dne writes a Novel about me-"
DOING THEIR STUFF
n he expected any tsty from the
Flapper he was fooled. She came
o Bat with Vengeance. fs
when all is said and done.-
poke up little Cream Face. n am
lrobably Queen of the iPatsies and
he Goat of the entire Outfit, I've
.ot to observe the Styles or else
itsy In my room and yet. every time
give n Parade. wearing at ieast
ix.Ounces OF Clothing. the Reform,
RS begin TO toll all The Bells and
ak about calling out the STATE
luard., s.ae l,. f.g@ S,fs
"Do you think II was any Snap
D learn to smoke these Cigarettes
nade OF oakum3 OR to drive a Tar
I sixty; or keep on tppIsiug Fresh
'aint? But what can ! de? III ]
IN a Short Sport ! will lose my
'icket. Even the Sister who talks
, the Clubs. on the Decline and f'ail
7 the Rlsin. Generation expects me
, wear Gold Slippers and pull my
inny Lid. over one Eye, I'm Try.
lg to look like the Pictures In ihe
So as not TO: attrart At
,nfiDn or be regarded as Freilk.'
At that moment . pale t's.rson
ith nouble,O specs came and sat
! o nearby Table. s,a.id
BE on. your Guard" cautioned
lei Business Man. -IIe looks IKE
Writer. We had better do our
egular Stuif." A
While the Officer was iimbering
D bis Brpgue the Sheik grahbed
e Devilish Old Lady and said.
,ame on. Kid. let's melt the Wax
! the Floor M
The Tired business Man began
ling bis eyes ut the FlapRer. whe
liked the Waiter by his First Name
I'd asked him ~ he ceuldnt slip
elm q little TINT
And Il was Al Flrst-t,lass Mate
u for the Author. He was ohsery-
z life. 4S ~
MORAL: Be yourself even II you