Milford chronicle., 1937-02-05
Intelligent Obedience
LAURA GRAY

/ StahB otOP DOuHtih6 JOui Ddits
The mother looked over her book as
she spoke; the father frowned be-
hind his newspaper. Their eight
year-old daughter stopped and CLAN
ced from one to the other. But no
sooner had the parents become alb
sorbed In their reading again, than,
Bounce, bounce" went the ball!
II told you to stop playing here!"
the mother said sharply.
We'll, It's raining outsidei"
Find something else to do"
Jean amused herself for a while
with a book, and all promised we'll.
However, that troublesome ball soon
began to bounce once more. Signing,
the mother laid down her book; the
father tossed hts paper aside and
went out. Jean had been allowed to
spoil the evening for her parents
through lack of obedience.
81 can't understand why John let's
people dominate him the way he
does" said an influential woman
speaking of her grown-up son. HE
and his sister Susie seem to have
no Wills of their own. John lets that
partner of his dictate all policies
and decide every issue. Dear me! l
have enough initiative and determi-
nation; why aren't my children
strOnger%
MAY 1t be that your will was law
to such an extent, when the chill
dren were young, that there was
little opportunity for them to devel-
op initiative?" asked her friend.
gently. You always prided yourself
upon getting implicit obedience.
used to wonder how you gained such
complete control"
IL certainly did insist on obedi-
encei When gave instructions they
were carried out, and no questions
were asked. Mine were the best dis
ciplined children In the community.
remember when John was a little
fellow, l told him one day to sit on
a stool in my room until | said he
might go. / forgot about him, and
went out. He was still sitting there
three hours lateri 1 believe If the
house had caught fire he'd still have
sat there. I've always felt sorry
about that day, but 1t does show the
boy knew how to obey"
Yes, but you see he continues to
okey now, while others command.
He never developed initiative, he
learned only to obey%
How to secure an obedience that |
does not lead to- servility is an i'm
portant consideration for every par
ent. We do need to render, obedi-
ence, from the very day of birth, to |
such requirements as regular times |
for feeding, sleeping and exercise.
But submission to. customs held to.
be best by the race, consideration:
for the rights of, others.s order. and |
should be taught rather
than commanded. Obedience to a
parents will, merely because 1t is
his will. is unimportant, in fact,
AS soon as a child is able to un-
ierstand reasons-and this is very
sarly-it is wise to encourage him TO
'eek reasons for those forms of be-
,avior that we desire. In that way
obedience becomes intelligent. "Why
must / go to bed so early?" $50 that
'Ou may grow to be strong and cap
Ible and brave like the heroes" If
he innocent pastimes of ball-bounc-
ng annOys others then that is the
eason 1t must be stopped. The child
hould be encouraged also to chal-
snge his own Independent actions:
Why am / going to do this?" II is
really important habit.
Training to implicit. unquestioned
bedience: why must / do this?"
Because I say so." is not satisfac-
cry. The boy or girl brought up this
'ay Is usually easy to manage and
ften practices very pleasing be-
avior habits until the time comes
Or him to be his own master. Then Z
is discovered that he is unfit for G
he task. On the other hand, a child @
llowed to he disobedient to the prin- q
iples that he is able to understand. {
! also In danger of an unsatisfac- G
Try adulthood. He is apt to live ac-
Drding to his own selfish desires, !
agardless of others. What we need
intelligent obedience: this can be :
eveloped. II Is an attitude of mind :,
lat causes one TO choose to do right +
ecause II Is right and best. 4
G