Imperial Valley press., 1937-06-13
Nc to Break
All Golf Rules
Boo Putters
By HENRY McLEMORE

OAKLAND HILLS COUNTRY
CLUB. BIRMINGHAM, Mich, June
y. W.Pl-My next dispatch may be
from the bridal suite in the Birm-
ingham bastille. l am warning you
in advance because today, during
the final rounds of the national
open golf tournament, I expect to
conduct an experiment which is
highly likely to withdraw me from
circulation.
To quit all this dilly- -dallying, l
am going to shatter the traditions
of the ancient and honorable sport
by cheering when my man does
we'll and booing when he falters.
This is an unheard of practice
among the putter poobahs. Golf
galleries are gagged. You can
yammer and yowl for a race horse
or a ball team, but nothing but
Well-bred silence Is IN order among
the maShie mechanics. l see no
reason why, if party has a few
potatoes perched ON the proboSciS
of a bunker boil weevil, he should
llOl Dt eIlOWOu w lliS Siiio-
tions in the clutch. After all. fun
is fun but when my dough is at
stake like to protect it in proper
manner. You are allowed to Groom
to a pair of dice in crap game.
Nobody thinks it unseemly if you
use little oral persuasion on the
ball that bobbleS around the spin
ming roulette wheel BY the same
token, free speech should be per-
mitted-nay, encouraged-at a bras
sic clambake.
am not quite certain just how
l shall operate the McLemore one
man cheering and jeering section.
If il were match play, il would be
n pushO76r. But these open iousts
are medal, and you can't titilate
the tOusils screeching for some fair
way fusileer to kick heel out Of a
score board full of neatly pencilled
figures. l guess I'll have TO get
mOtOrbike and scO0t about the links.
giving the Bronx Banzi to such
players as require my attention.
For instance, il I find that Ralph
Guldahl, Jimmy Thomson, Ed Dud-
ley CT Frank Walsh are menacing
my ma and threatening TO cop that
$1,000 purse, l shall sneak up be-
hind them at crucial moments and
unncrve them with such distracting
commands as miss that putt" or
dub that drive" This will be
pretty discOncerting. as you can
well imagine, and the havoc will
be horrible. When there is, a lull
in the carnage, can chug over TO
my standard bearer and bolster
him by bleating, "get hot, Butch"
or you're a shOO-in, kid" OF course.
if my mug boots one, I'll give him
both barrels Of my scathing sar-
caSm. He need expect no quarter
if he, fails me. shall probably
upset both friend and foe so that
none of them will win and some
sable steed will sneak i'm as ManerO
did last year.
The U.S.GA. is a crotchety and
slightly mildewed outfit. They
haven't changed a rule since the
second bounce was out. They prob
ably won't like the McLemore ON
C. and j. section. If I remember
the rules, and I'm sure I don't, a
sneeze is a miSdemeanor, a cough
is disorderly conduct. whistle is
\ felony and loud conversation is
good SO years with Saturday after
moons off for good behavior. This
is based upon the theory that a
golfer has to concentrate. This is
sheer flattery because I have been
around athletes for a long while,
and those who have more to think
with than strong and sinewy mus
cleS are not only exceptions, but
absolute rarities. I am of a mind
that what the U.S.G.A. takes for
concentration is fifty per cent n
trophy and the rest fatigue.
Try and name me one thing any
athlete has ever done for civiliza-
ton. And when you've penetrated
that pecan's ulster, name me some
thing any sports writer has ever
, done for ditto.