The Washington times., 1937-12-21
with rising temperature the next

with rising temperature the next
slept fitfully at last.
In the morning, green of coun
tenance and feeling wobbly ano
sore, I hastened to my doctors Of
flee and told him the story of my
night. 1T is" insisted, IAN acute
attack of appendicitis. I must have
an operation before it is too late
Nonsense" he said, 1T is only
a nervous stomach cramp. Your
nervous system is all shot tc
pieces. What you need is the quiet
of sanatorium.
Appendicitis, DOCTOR"
moaned. collapSing upon a couch
and giving a realistic display OF
acute pains.
He examined me worriedly and
I blessed my long experience in
physical culture and my knowl
edge of elementary medicine
which made it easy to bunch up
my muscles at the necessary spot
and to squirm and yell convinc.
ingly when he probed it.
Strange" he said thoughtfully
"there is distinct resistance and
pain there. Wait-I'n call a
surgeon"
I repeated the performance
satisfactorily, half an hour later,
when two doctors examined me.
Acute appendicitis" the sur.
geon pronounced, II must operate
at once"
Once secure that my brain-wave
had worked, I begged for a short
delay. I had letters to write
people to see-engagements to
cancel. Could the operation wait
until the following morning?
gained my point, and, after
administering an opiate, the two
doctors let me go. I was to enter
my own doctors private nursing
home that afternoon and the oper.
alton would take place the follow
ing morning.
I was well and strong once
more and in the highest spirits,
but I subdued my buoyancy and
acted i'll" all that day, to the
great concern of all my friends,
who were unanimously inclined to
dramatize the incident.
REALISTIC ACT
Once I had decided on a GER
tain course, I made it a point of
carrying it through as realistic
ally as possible.
So no one was in the secret, bar
my immediate chief at the French
embassy, and even he was in,
clined to think that I was really
i'll, but did not realize it.
It was not until all was over,
and I was coming out of the
ether, that the joke began. The
surgeon stood over me grimly,
holding a vessel in which floated
something that looked like a
withered peapod, no bigger than
my little finger.
Look at that" he said. Yours
is one of those rare cases where
an appendix withers' and disap-
pears on it's own. You could no
more have appendicitis than I
could grow wings"
"Of which I am not so sure,
DOCTOR" I retorted, "for you look
very much like an angel to me. "
It was one Of those jokes which
could not be told at the time, so
the secret of it remained between
the two medicos and their patient.
I thought, shrewdly, enough
that having an operation would
not satisfy the Swiss police as to
the desirability of letting me stay
in the country.
But it afforded a breathing spell
and I made the most of it, linger
ing in the nursing home hoping
for another brainwave, which
would make my position secure
1t came, hardly had I left my
bed, in the gulSe OF the terrible
Spanish Flu epidemic" which
took such a tragic toll of lives al
over the world. Volunteer nurse!
were needed and I was one of the
first.
Six weeks of strenuous worE
among dying people made short
work of anv SIISnici0nS and 0hiec
tions the police entertained. In
stead of being a suspect I became
a national heroine, interviewed
feted and honored. 1t was a break
all right, but there was no joke tt
it, I assure you.
i And so must a secret agent b.
always on the alert and be quicl
enough to take advantage of ever!
chance, regardless of the conSe
quenceS.
THE END