Evening star., 1937-11-29
Each Root Vegetable Needs Special Type Of Cooking for Best
Impossible
To Force
AChild
Make Him Have the
Desire to Do the
Right Thing.
BY ANGELO PATRI.

ny h1\oLAO hxs
HOW can I make my child: Stop
biting his nails Stop eating too
fast. Eat his meals without fussing or
dawdling. Take his music lesson. Like
his Aunt Mary. Go to the dentist.
Keep his clothes clean. Wipe his feet
on the mat. Let her brother alone.
Do homework. Come home on time
Talk properly. Obey me.
This is an abridged list, merely
suggestive of the thousand and one
perfectly proper ideas that parents
want their children to adopt, and have
great difficulty in doing so. How can
you make a child do what you want
him to do?
You can't. But what you may be
able to do, if you are wise, careful and
ekillful, is to get him to want to do
this thing himself. Then you won't be
able to stop him. If we spent one
tenth of the time and energy we use in
attempting to force children to our
way of thinking and doing on trying
10 get them to want this thing for
themselves, we would win most OF our
objectives easily and the rest would
not matter
Take one of the most common
struggles. Eat your breakfast. You
hear me? You eat every bit Of it.
What? You haven't eaten more than
teaspoonful Now it's all cold. Here.
I'll heat it. Now, like a good child,
eat it. Look! You make poor mamma
cry. Please darling, eat for mother
No? You are bad child. If you don't
eat that this minute I'm going to get
the strap. mean it,"
That goes on day after day with
variations, but without any change in
the attitude of the child. You cannot
force a child to eat. 1t Is q personal
matter He will, or he won't; and he
will when he wants to, not before.
You can beat him, frighten him,
force him into swallowing some food,
but what of that? He has not eaten
and you know it. You did the eating
not he. And it is like that all the way.
What you force under threat and pun
tshment, what you force q child to do,
bears no relation to the child. It still
is your idea, your activity, never his.
Only when the child wants to do this
thing and harnesses his will, his in
terest, his desires, and lends his
strength to his idea, will he, can he,
90 it. Once he wants to do he does,
and nobody else has anything to do
with the matter. Forced feeding,
forced behavior, forced learning are
not worth while. They have no roots
in the childs being; they are foreign
20 it and will surely be cast out.
Get him to want to eat. How? Ac-
eording to what he wants. What does
he want that eating the right kind Of
food will give him? Be careful. Don't
tell him what he wants and offer
bicycles, watches, money and movies.
Wait. Food makes people grow, makes
them strong, gives them power. What
kind of power does this child want
that food will give him? You can be
sure there is something he would buy.
bangle it cannily before him and he
will hunger for 1t and eat his way to-
ward 1t.
Make a child want, wish, long and
desire to be, to have, to do, the thing
that will most promote his happiness,
not by preaching and scolding, not by
eternal talking, but by indirection.
Show him in casual fashion that eat
ing brings its own reward; that we'll
groomed hands are an asset; that good
manners, ducation, good morals, will
buy precious things that they want.
Sell goodness until they want it, hun
ser and thirst for it, and they will
work themselves to the bone to get 1t.
Mr. Patri has prepared leafiet en-
titled THE Shy Child" in which he
Aells parents how to help children
overcome shyness and fear. Send for
It. addressing your request to Mr.. An
eelo Patri, Child Psychology Depart
ment Of this paper. Inclose self-ad-
dressed, stamped (3-cent) envelope.