The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1937-07-30

blemishes, the bulges
and the bloats that come with ma
turity? Sun baths should be taken
on Doctors prescription, not at the
corner of First and Main.
Women old enough to know bet
ter are the worst offenders, seems
like. If only they'd stop to con-
slider that the snail, which is naked,
would lose in any beauty contest
against the butterfly, which wears
all the regalia the traffic will stand!
But even though it's for their own
good, you can't tell 'em. If some
body started the fad of going at
the game while practically nude,
inside of two weeks mumblepeg
would be the national pastime-un-
til somebody else thought up game
to be played by folks without a
stitch on. Or anyhow, just a stitch
here and there.
Doctoring Movie Scripts.
T Usually they lay these yarns
~ on Mr.. Sam Goldwyn, who
thrives upon them and goes right
on turning out successes, his motto
being, whats grammar as be-
tween friends so long as the box
office shows results?" But, for a
change, this one is ascribed to an
other producer, who proudly de-
scribes himself as self-nade man,
which, according to his critics, is
relieving the Creator of consider
able responsibility and putting the
blame where the blame belongs.
They also say no self-made man
should stop with the job only partly
finished. But then Hollywood is full
of parties trying to push Humpty
Dumpty off the wall.
AS the tale runs, this gentleman
entered the conference chamber at
his studio and as, with kingly
gesture, he laid down fat sheaf
of typewriter pages, said to the
assembled intellects of his staff:
"Jumpmen, in all my experience
in the picture business this is what
you might call unique. Here is abb
solutely, posstiffiy the only poifect
script I have ever read in my ontire
life. tell you that before we start
altering it."
Strikes Versus Wars.
ND you ever notice how like a
~ war is a strike?
The operator and his operatives
are the shock troops that suffer the
heaviest casualties. The owner risks
his profits and perhaps his market
and sometimes. his plant. The work.
er gives up his wages, frequently
his job, occasionally his life.
Stockholders see dividends van
ishing and investments shrinking.
Citizens see their communities dis
rupted. Women and children go on
short rations, many a time go ac-
tually hungry. For, as in a war,
the innocent non-combatants bear
most grievous burdens.
Those who really garner in the
spoils-professional agitators; finan-
cial buzzards eager to seize on
bankrupted industries; lawyers with
their writs and their injunctions;
imported thugs masquerading, for
one side or the other as honest
mechanics-these might be ikened
to stay-at-home diplomats and profit
GERS and hired mercenaries who
induce friendly nations to turn en-
emies so they may gain their own
selfish ends.
After it's over, we realize that
almost any strike might have been
averted had common sense and
common justice ruled, rather than
greed and entrenched stubbornness
and fomented hate. And the same is
true of almost any war. For every
real benefit to humanity came out
of peace and arbitration, not out Of
battle and destruction.
And here's the final parallel: u
timately, the supposed victor finds
himself the actual loser. Tell me
which army won any great strike
or any great war-and I'll tell you
who won the San Francisco fire and
the Galveston flood.
IRWIN S. COBB.