The Coolidge examiner., 1937-06-24
The Art of CuSSing.

ing.
The Art of Cussing.
MY OLD chum Burgess Johnson,
4N1 once an editor but now col
Iege professor, tells credulous
bunch of advertising men that Mark
Twain was the champion all-time
all-American cusser-could cuSs five
solid minutes without repeating him.
self.
Pardon me, Burgess, but Mark
Twain never did any such thing.
Once I heard him at his out-cussing-
est best-denouncing publisher
who had offended him. He swore
for five minutes all right, but over
and over again he used the same
few familiar oaths which the Eng
disappearing race always have
used. He didn't introduce new or
an original one.
I studied the art Of cussing, both
by note and by ear, under such gift
ed masters of profanity as southern
steamboat mates, New York news
paper men, London cab drivers,
western mule whackers and north
woods timber choppers.
With my hand on my heart I
solemnly affirm that not one of these
alleged experts ever employed any
save the dependable age-seasoned
standbys, to wit, seven adjectives,
two strong nouns, one ultrastrong
noun and one compound phrase
the commonest of all.
Romance for King Zog.
TOR about the fifth time comes
l. plaintive plea from Albania, one
ofthose remote little border countries
of eastern Europe where every now
and then peace threatens to break
out. They have a king over there.
At least they had a king at the time
of going to press with this dispatch.
His name is King Zog. This is neith-
er a typographical error nor a
vaudeville gag. The name positively
is Zog, and radio comedians may
make the most of it.
For many months he has been
paging the world for wife. The
qualifications call for the lady to
have 5000, ,000 His majesty would
also like for her to turn Moham-
medan, but the main requirement
is that $5,000,000 bank roll.
California'S COaStline.
VN1HILE it's quite roomy coast
w line, California has at present
only one coastline. This is a source
of modification to patriotic native
sons, Florida having two such, one
on either side, besides a dampish
area in the middle known as the
Everglades.
Still, in a way, CALIFORNIA; silvery
strand continues to excel. Within
easy speeding distance we have at
Palm Springs folds up on account
of the heat, many of our artistic
colony go to relax. So wholeheart-
edly do some go in for this that Oft
en- you may stand off quarter of a
mile and hear them relaxing.
Occasionally a relaxationist re-
lakes so completely that it takes
weeks for him to get over it. His
friends leave him at the seaside only
to gather at the bedside.
The Changing World.
IT WAS Susan B. Anthony who
L dedicated her life to the cause OF
emancipation for her sex. But it
was her grandniece who lately at
tanned the headlines by suggesting
that, with the addition of a buckle
here and ribbon there, a nightie
would make suitable evening
gown for almost any occasion.
Thus do we see how from one gen.
Grafton on to another is handed
down the flame of genius and serv-
ice to womankind.
But, although the inspired sugges.
ton is already weeks old, there still
are no signs that it is finding ad.
vocates among the queen bees Of
the cultural hive. Maybe the rea.
son is that a belle of the Hollywood
artistic group would feel so osten
tatiously overdressed if she wore
full-fashioned nightie to a socia.
koction.
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