The Coolidge examiner., 1937-03-04
BY JAMES J. MONTAGUE

A SCREAM is startling, any,
~ where. When it is repeated,
n if only once, it is at least
five times as startling. When
it is screamed on ones front porch,
its startlingness can only be COM
puted by the aid of higher mathe-
matics. But during and Immediate
ly after this particular scream /
was much too startled to make use
of calculus, or logarithms or any
of the methods by which the scholar
arrives at indisputable conclusions.
1 merely dropped my book, rushed
to the front door, and opened it. 1
admit that I did not open it wide.
The echoes of the scream were still
replicating from house to house in
the immediate vicinity. l don't be-
Ieve in ghosts or ghouls, but I
would find no particular pleasure in
discovering that there are such
creatures by discovering one of
them on my front porch.
Peering warily through the aper-
ture which exists between a door
and door jamb when the door is
on a chain I surveyed as much as
was possible of the surrounding
dusk. Presently into the range of
my vision there came a large and
very white face, apparently entirely
unsupported by any body. While I
was striving to become accustomed
to a bodyiess head its mouth opened
and said in shaking voice:
The animal. It's up there. Look.
It's eyes! It's eyes!"
The head from which the voice
was projected was fixed on a pine
tree. swaying gently in the evening
wind. Following them l beheld two
yellow luminous balls, which blinked
occasionally like the beam of light
house. l thrust forward a fear
less hand, seized the nape of a furry
neck, transferred the body which
belonged to it to the porch floor
and said reassuringly: It's just
Smudge. Come in. Mrs. Klinefel-
ter"
But what is it?" said a still
trembling voice.
Just a cat. A mere alley cat.
Its eyes look that way when the
street light shines on them. Look
at it,
l stopped and lifted black ball
perhaps five inches in circum-
ference. During its elevation the
dear little creature inscribed its ini-
tials on the back of my hand. They
were still there the next morning,
a somewhat crude IS. c." which
was by that time outlined in iodine.
Mrs. Klinefelter's visit was brief,
and she demanded an escort to her
car, although when she rose to 60
Smudge was sitting placidly on the
mantelpiece, gracefully sparring
with fly which was buzzing around
her. Il am not at all sure" said
the lady, that that absurd little
animal is the one that glared at me
outside the door. She looks like such
a sweet, gentle, little thing"
The sweet, gentle, little thing
coiled for spring, which she forth
with executed. The parabola she de-
scribed in the air would have
brought her exactly between the
shoulders of our guest had 1 not de-
flected it with swift presence of
mind and diverted her to the floor.
She landed on her feet, Kissed VEN
omously at me and strobe out of
the room. Such was her winsome
nature.
Smudge was the gift of my daugh-
ter-in-law, who likes cats and main
tains three of them in her home. I
should say maintained, for after
Smudge'S arrival, two of them de-
parted through windows never to re-
turn again, and the third, which
had the spirit to stay and fight it
OuI COIllllllllCu SlllClue L LIllIlh. any
way it was ground to atoms by a
trolley car, under which it had fled
in an effort to get away from the lit
tie black fury. Desiring the COM
pany of quiet. we'll behaved cats,
Smudge's former owner made her
home safe for them by putting
Smudge into a basket and convey
ing her up to our house.
This basket she deposited in the
center of the room, and diplomati-
cally suggested that I open it. I
did so without caution, supposing
that the receptacle contained some
thing edible Out came ablack head
not much larger than billiard ball.
and into my questing finger sank
two sharp teeth, all the incisors