Evening star., 1937-06-20
Bv Elisabeth Ford.

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I'M GOING to see a doctor about
my neck. I think It's twisted In
a figure eight, but I'm afraid to
L look and find out. In fact, I'm
afraid to look at anything any more.
I've just dragged my body and bones
OF a rubberneck wagon.
I don't know how it all started In
the first place, except maybe Spring
got in my hair. With the burgeoning
forth of box cameras on every bush
In the White House grounds, and the
sudden bulge in the tin-plated SOU
venir business, began to wonder
what tourists were made OF. Reader,
they are made of ster1ler stuff.
They can stand up under more
public building ogling than you might
offhand realize. I ought to know, be-
cause for two precious hours 1 joined
their ranks and became one Of them,
eye-to-eye. They're quiet lot,
though. They don't say much. They
take it all out in looking.
"Of course" I reminded myself. II
shall maintain a detached viewpoint.
None Of 1t will feaze me-" The only
thing that was detached about me by
the time I got through was my neck.
hope it can be put together again.
Sightseeing Is a fever. The Curl
osity virus gets you before you know
what's happening and it strikes the
vital parts. Before you can say Penn
sylvania avenue" your mouth is hang
Ing open like swinging door on a
warn-out hinge, and you're staring at
the Washington Monument as II you
didn't know perfectly we'll that you
walked right by it last week without
even turning your head.
ONCE you toy with the blue-and-
pink folder which the solicitous
young lady shoves at you across a
certain desk. there's simply no going
back. Shall you take Tour A, B,
c, D, E, F, G, H Or l.? Shall you
See Beautiful Washington at Night
and pass "along the tranquil banks
of the Potomac River" on 20-mile
drive in de luxe chair car. or shall
you See the Interior Of Public Build
ings by Daylight" including the gold
Yned piano in the East Room Of the
Executive Mansion? Have you got
the constitution to stand the Grand
Double Tour OF Arlington, Alexandria
and Mount Vernon? Or do you think
you'd better take it easy on the Com
bination Tour of the Washington Ca
thedral, the Scottish Rite Temple, the
Franciscan Monastery and the Sol
diers' Home?
Maybe you'll select tour ca sort
of ring-around- rosy, with one stop
at the Lincoln Memorial. If you do,
the young lady at the desk gives the
high sign as soon as you make your
decision, the door opens and man
wearing a chauffeur's cap rushes IN
and relieves you of the required cash.
After that-your bus leaves in five
minutes, at 11:30-there's slight lull
while you arrange yourself in one OF
the chairs lined up In a neat row
along the side OF the wall. During
this interim you can't help but over
hear a conversation about the people
who left a sweater, hat and q card
board box on the $50 tour. Life has
q new tempo.
Finally the door blows open again
and the man with the chauffeur's cap
sticks in his head and yells, Eleven
thirty bus!"
TWENTY-FIVE other souls are rid
ing with you The guide ticks you
off as you come aboard. Numbers "a
and Is get on, too, but there isn't any
room for them so they scramble of
again If you're anthletic, you get
seat next to the window. If you're
not, you ride second-class-on the
aisle-it's nobodys fault but your own.
The guide collects the tickets.
They're printed on green paper. In
return you receive a business reply
card. On it you may scribble, II you
wish, your reactions to your trip. So
far, so smooth.
After minor alteration concerning
q taxi that has double parked along
side the bus, you're of, numbering
around the Sherman statue at the
south end OF the Treasury and heading
of toward the Department OF Com
merce. The guide says 1T has 10
miles of corridors and SO elevators, but
1t still looks like the same old place.
After that you pass the Post Office
Building, equipped with spiral stair
case and Jim Farley. A mild murmur
rocks the bus.
Now you're pushing into E street.
The going here is little dull. The
fox terrier which belongs to the people
in the seat across from you takes a
short nap. He wakes up when you
crawl past the old Pension Office
made entirely Of brick-largest brick
structure in the world-nine support
ing columns contain enough brick to
build six-room bungalow.
Interest stirs in the tourist breast.
There's sag to the left as % necks
lean in that direction all at one time.
Bungalow" seems to strike world
weary chord. Mid pleasures and pub
lie buildings, even the blase wander
lusters have their homesick moments.
They gaze with contemplative eyes.
THEN on you squirt toward the
Union Station, which can still
house an army If it's standing up, and
from there you speed to East Capitol
street and the Supreme Court Build
ing. Some one asks, Can We go in
side?" 1t seems we can't. Now it's
the Library of Congress we're passing.
but who cares about 100000 books?
After brisk foray around traffic
light, We find ourselves smack up
against the Capitol, maneuvering back
and forth like turtle on mud
bank. AS the gear slips into second,
the guide tells you to notice the white
paint peeling OF the center part Of the
building: he shows you the place
where the President stands when he's
inaugurated, and he enlarges on the
fact that the dome is made out Of
overlapping steel plates, like the scales
on fish. Everybody's seen the
CapitOl in the movies at or, time ar