Evening star., 1937-09-09

several years / have been |
engaged to fine girl of
- quiet strength OF character.
who is we'll educated and has good
disposition. She has stood by me in
illness and great financial stress,
breathed new life and courage in me
and cheered me up when I needed 1t.
I lean on her and know that she is
the only women / have ever seen
whom wanted to marry But have
been slipping out at night with my
secretary, who is young and pretty,
and I am reluctant to give her up, as
she arouses my protective instincts
She is small and helpless. I must
make some definite decision between
the two women. but am unable 10 do
so in my present mental state, so am
asking you to help me.
JUST A SELFISH MAN.
Answer: Contradictory as it may
seem, think that the inferior woman
is the better choice for you and that
her helplessness will aid you more
than the efficient woman's helpful
ness. That doesn't make sense, but
there is no logic in mems hearts and
that is why so often the silly. weak
wife who seems to be a milestone
around her husbands neck doesn't
sink him. She, somehow, turns into
a life preserver that floats him to the
top of the wave.
We have all seen this happen a
thousand times. We have seen a weak
and wobbly man marry a clinging- vine
girl and turn into a sturdy oak Just
because he had to support the spine
less creature who was hanging on him.
We have seen slack, pleasure loving
men who preferred fishing to working
turn into go-getters who made for
tunes. just because they had to make
the money to pay an extravagant
wife's bills.
{ OFTEN we have seen healthy and
able-bodied men who married
clever, capable women sit down on the
do-nothing stool and let their wives
support them when they found out
that Mary could do it. am not argu-
ing that lazy little Dumb Doras make
better wives than fine, strong. INTEL
llgent Marthas, but it is a truth that
very often the helpless woman brings
out something strong and fine in a
man that the helpful woman never
touches.
IL is likewise true that a man no
more loves the woman he leans ON for
support than the cripple loves his
crutch. He will use her money and
accept the moral brace she gives him.
but he resents his need of her and
rids himself Of her as soon as pos
sible.
For her strength shames his weak
ness. Her industry and competence
snow up his Incidence and lack of
ability. Her success makes him CON-
scious of his failure.
Sne gives him the feeling of in
ferlorlty. His masculine pride revolts
at that, and he hates her for her very
perfections. The women whom men
love are those on whom they bestow
favors and before whom they can pose
as heroes and oracles. They are never
enamored of the women on whom
they are dependent. 1t is notorious
tnat the old adage about losing both
your money and your friend when
you lend to q friend goes double for
women who lend money to men. No
one ever saw parasitic husband who
let MS wife support him, treat her
oecently. He is always like the dog
Who bites the hand that feeds him
1here is something about the old
traditional relationship between hus-
bands and wives that does not bear
upsetting. So 1 think a man is al
ways wise to marry woman who
brings out the best that is in his
character rather than one on whom
ne Will lean for support.
YEAR DOROTHY DIX: I am %
He is Al. We have been married
SIX months. Within q week I realized
our marriage was mistake. Within
SIX months 1t has become a horror
Here are some Of my difficulties: NV
husband was previously married and
WIDOWED. Has two children living
with married sister all of whom visit
us regularly; an ordeal for me. I am
q college girl. His ignorance nearly
drives me to distraction. He has MOTH
ing to say in company. Evenings
when wish to dance or go to place
OF amusement he claims fatigue and
the necessity of arising at 7 in the
morning, so We can't go out. l have
no parents and was poor. so / mar
rled thinking home would suffice. but
too late 1 learned that a support is
insufficient for happiness. My hus-
bands love for me is deep and sim
cere and his kindness and generosity
know no bounds, but they do not re-
place the love that is lacking in nv
life. Do you think separation would
be the best course for me to take? /
am desperate. MRS. D. N.
Answer-Your predicament proves
once again that marrying for a home
Is selling your soul for a mess of pot
tage, and that the woman who does
that makes poor bargain. Lots of
girls do it. They get tired of punch
ing the time clock in an Office or shop
They are weary Of standing behind |
counters or banging typewriters. put
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