Evening star., 1937-07-24
Various
Problems
Solved
Party Must Be Stag if
Men Are Asked With
out Their Wives.
RY EMILY POST

nEAR MRS. POST: I'd like to give
small dinner in honor of my
husbands birthday and know that he
would like me to invite his Office asso-
clates. I don't know their wives and
yet 1t would not do to invite the hus-
bands without them, would it?
Answer: 1t is impossible to make a
definite answer because the situation
differs so completely with different
types of people. Some men know their
office associates very well and make
their wives feel that they know them
too. In this case, the wives would be
very glad to meet the wives as well as
the men their husbands talk about If
this is your situation it is likely to be
that Of the wives too, and there could
be no possible criticism Of your invit-
ing them, as well as the husbands.
After all, it isn't necessary that they
accept unless they want to, and Ger
tainly it is more proper that a wife
be invited with husband. If your hus-
band invited the men alone, his party
would have to be stag
DEAR MRS. POST: When dessert
happens to be ice cream and rich
cake, as it so generally does during
the hot weather, in what manner are
both eaten at one time? A fork and
spoon are served on dessert plate and
first the ice cream passed around for
each one to help herself. So far so
good. But then the cake is passed
Usually there is just sufficient space
at the side Of the plate to stow away
embarrassment Of having what hangs
over the side fall on the tablecloth.
Then comes the awkward moment of
making pretty thorough mess Of
getting rich icing all down the handle
of the fork because there is so little
place to put the fork down while going
back for spoon of ice cream. I
suppose the answer to this is that 1t
would be better to eat the ice cream
and then, after putting down the
spoon for good. eat the cake. But
for those who happen to like both at
the same time. shouldn't hostess pro-
vide separate plates to put the cake
on?
Answer: don't understand why you
hang the cake over the edge of the
plate, or why you are putting your
fork down. If you are eating your
ice cream with fork, then eat the
cake also with the fork, or if you are
eating the ice cream with a spoon why
90 you insist upon eating the cake
with fork? II it is too gooey to eat
in the fingers it would quite as proper
ly be eaten with spoon as with a fork.
YEAR MRS. POST: I am in the
habit of addressing both of nv
employers as we'll as other men with
whom l work as sir" To me this
is merely convenient form of ad-
dress. But friend thinks that the
word implies servility. She claims
that sir has grown obsolete in this
country when addressing those of
equal rank We would like to have
your opinion.
AnsWer-If Mr.. Employer is A
young man OF nearly your own age,
your friend is right Otherwise her
attitude against sir" would to most
people suggest her own sense of
inferiority, since those who have this
failing are always afraid that they
may do something demeaning to
themselves. A person of greater
worldly knowledge would say sir"
II, however, an employe prefers to
say Mr.. Employer" instead Of "sir"
it is but little more of a mouthful and
scarcely less proper. Socially she
would never call Mr.. Employer "sir."
AS I have written many times, office
etiquette should follow that Of the
army and the navy and the more
punctilious its exactions the more 1t
contributes to the organizations
prestige.
(Copyrisht. 1879