The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1937-06-04

ONCL, all OoJ tiiC
curative methods of the old medi-
cine man had values which in many
respects excelled what the white
man has produced and suggests our
&C entists might we'll adopt certain
aspects of the aborigine's plan.
What if we did that very thing and
then, by the way of exchange, invit-
ed the tribesmen to take over such
rifling problems as an unbalanced
5udget, our European debts, sit
down strikes and the younger gen.
GRAFTON?
Cleaning up the Stage.
uAVING lost their licenses, four
IL teen burlesque houses in New
York won't ever get them back if
Re officials keep their word about
it.
With this example to go by, au-
4 critics might next try the idea of
leaning up the legitimate stage
here - the spawning place and
breeding ground of shows which
.ilthy lines and filthier scenes are
RELY offered to pop-eyed audiences
recruited from what we call our
best families. Poisoning the moral
atmosphere of the theater appears
10 be the favorite sport of a new
school of dramatists who, when they
we're little boys, had their mouths
washed out with soap for using dirty
words, yet never got over the habit.
TIE Fate of Beauty Queens.
lust as the weather gets warm so
- the contestants won't catch any
thing worse than sunburn, that out
break of annual monotony known as
the beauty contest will stir the popu-
lace to heights of the utmost indif-
ference. There will be no dress re-
hearsals beforehand. With beauty
contests, it's the other way around.
And then when Miss Cherokee
Strip or Miss Clear View has been
hailed as Americas prize package
of loneliness, she will, if she runs
true to form, put her clothes back
on and catch the next train for Cali
fornia with the intention of starring
in the movies.
On arrival, she will be panied to
note that none of the studio heads
is waiting at the station to sign her
up; also that practically all the star
ring jobs are being held by young
ladies who, in addition to good looks,
have that desirable little thing
called personality. And next fall
she'll be dealing 'em off the arm in
a Hollywood hashery.
International Slickers.
p UMORS persist that the United
IN States, Great Britain and
France are preparing for eventual
agreements on monetary stabiliza-
ton, tariff and trade adjustments,
price-fxing of essential commodi-
ties-and, believe it or not, brethren
and sistren-a settlement of the de-
faulted foreign debts owed to us.
Maybe it's significant-or, if you
want to be broadminded and char
table about it, merely coincidence
that every dispatch from Euro
pean sources on this matter lists the
debts last. And, verify I say unto
you, that's exactly when and where
they will come-last.
seem to see the big three gath
cred at the council table for the
final session and La Belle France
moving that, everything else having
been arranged to the satisfaction of
the majority present and the hour
being late, the detail Of those debts
be put over to some future date.
John Bull seconds the motion. Mo-
ton carried by vote of 2 to l, Uncle
Sam being feebly recorded in the
negative.
A Sense of HumOr.
DAMON RUNYON, who, being
- wise, should know better, re-
opens the issue of whether many
people have a sense of humor. This
provokes somebody to inquire what
is humor, anyhow?
stand by this definition: Humor
is tragedy standing on its head with
it's pants torn.
Lots of folks think a sense of hui
NOR is predicated on the ability to
laugh at other folks, which is wrong.
A real sense of humor is based on
our ability to laugh at ourselves.
You have to say, not as Puck did,
what fools these mortals be-" but,
"What fools we mortals be-"
That's why few women have a true
sense of humor. Usually woman,
even a witty woman, takes herself
SO seriously, she can never regard
Lorrnlf ,,ncori0lISlX