Evening star., 1937-08-28

Problems
S DIV e d
Social Obligations of a
Widow May Be Paid
With Luncheons.
BY EMILY POST.

BY EMILY POST.
DEAR MRS. POST: Is one obli-
gated. after a first dinner party
at the house OF man and wife,
to invite them both TO dinner, or is 1t
suf1lcient to ask the wife to lunch,
either alone at home or when I am
asking other ladies. or perhaps not to
lunch at all but to a matinee? I am
widow and find 1t very difficult to
entertain alone at dinner My hus-
host.
Ansver-It would Of course be nicer
to invite them both to dinner if you
can. But If you can't do this, don't
worry about inviting his wife alone.
AS matter OF fact. your problem
is one that really all OF us find at one
time or another impossible to solve,
always 10 charming and available
women to every one even half charm
ing and available man. Therefore
a lunch party OF six women seems to
most of us preferable to dinner
party Of five women and one man.
nEAR MRS. POST: My sister and
recently went to visit an aunt
and as We hadn't announced our COM
ing. arrived to find her house filled
with other guests. We wanted to go
TO the hotel but she arranged with
neighbor to put us up for the night.
The neighbor was a stranger to us
but apparently she and my aunt are
very good friends OF course We
thanked her when We left but have
done nothing in return since. A
thank you note doesn't seem quite
suitah BILE because We realize it was not
for ourselves she was showing hos
pitality but rather for the sake of
our aunt. In such a circumstance
does the obligation belong to us or
to my aunt, and If it is ours, what
shall We do?
Answer-Under the circumstances,
the obligation belongs to your aunt
Further than having thanked her
for her kindness. nothing was ex-
pected Of you. But even so, a short
bread and butter letter thanking her,
or better. few flowers would Ger
tainly not be amiss.
nEAR MRS. POST: I was very i'll
for many months and during that
time many many people, friends, and
even merest acquaintances. brought
flowers, books and magazines, and
sent sympathy cards. When I was
we'll enough saw by best friends who
called and thanked them. naturally.
but member of my family said
thank you downstairs to acquaintances
who left packages and inquired. But
there have been no notes written and
have not in any other way showed
my very real appreciation. I am now
going out again and have been to
call on friends. I hesitate, however,
to 60 to the houses of mere ac-
quaintances since it may seem to
them that I am using this means to
further my own social contacts with
them. Will you tell me just how far
I may 60 in saying thank you" to
pCOplc WHO 1ldu never ldllcO al lIle
house until my illness.
Answer-You should write a thank
you note to every one, thanking them
for their gifts or their kindness shown
to you during your illness. This could
not be taken as anything except as
evidence Of ordinary everyday good
manners on your part.
NEAR MRS. POST: My son and his
new wife will soon return from
their wedding trip, and as she is a
stranger here we would like to give a
party for her An afternoon tea
would be the best type of party to
entertain more than 100 people but
so many of our friends are apt to find
it inconvenient to stop by after hot
day in their offices, and as so many of
them 60 away week ends, that an
afternoon party then would not do
either. But could an evening party
be equally simple, with paople COM
ing and going and the atmosphere
friendly? And what do you suggest
for the invitations?
Answer-Certainly. A simple eve
ming at home is exactly the same as an
afternoon tea except that the invita-
ton is for early evening instead of late
afternoon. Usually you write on your
visiting card, ITO meet Mr.. and Mrs.
Henry Smith jr." and below your name
in the left-hand corner. Tuesday
evening, September 10, 8 to 10 o'clock.
Or If you want to make the party more
important you can, Of course, have
the cards engraved:
Mr.. and Mrs. John Henry Smith
and
Mr.. and Mrs John Henry Smith, jr.
Will be at home
On Tuesday evening. September 10
From 8 to 10 O'Clock
DEAR MRS. POST: I have a little
girl who will be 6 years old soon,
and little boy who will be week
later. As their birthdays are 50 near to-
gether would like to give Z party for
both on the same day. But what date
would be best? am not exactly sure
what should do about their birthday
cakes? Should I have q cake for
each?
Answer-I think it would be very
nice to give the party on the later
date. Have q pair Of birthday cakes
one at either end Of the table. Or If
you are not having the children sit at
the dining table. you could put the
cakes side by side on small table
They would, Of course. play games
and then each child would have 4