The Coolidge examiner., 1937-04-08
BY HARRY V. WADE

VOU possibly have met the
L type of woman who, when
her husband arises from a
hearty breakfast, remarks,
"And now, dear what would you
like for lunch?" Probably you
have wondered why.
"How do humans get that way?"
is a question which has long baff1ed
our learned men. They do not know.
Abashed by their ignorance, some
of the larger universities are open
ing institutes for the study of human
behavior. They will try to find out
why a man, on seating himself in
dining car, will invariably pick up
the bill-of-fare in his left hand,
grasp his right ear in the other, and
after fondling it a while, run
thumb and forefnger up and down
the bridge of his nose.
You may say that here is a reflex
dating from cave days, when one
fought for his food and sat down to
a meal with no assurance that all
his features were still in place; but
that is only a guess. 1t does not
explain why the same traveller, on
trundling into a Pullman Washroom
for the morning toilet, will attempt
first of all to stare himself out of
countenance in the glass. There is
the long minute of uncertainty when
he is still unconvinced that the rum
pied, dry-starched face in the mir
ror is his own-that no one has tried
to palm off another on him in the
night. His is a curious case, but
very common.
= No one can explain why woman
climbs aboard a bus with a depart
ment store layer cake in one hand
and her fare at the bottom of nest
of five purses in the other. Almost
always this type will be found to
be a Looker-Around as well. A Look
er-Around is one who spots in
store window precisely the garment
she is pursuing, and at the price
she wants to pay.
=. The Handkerchief Dilemma.
Will she dash in at once and close
the erdeali? Don't be silly. She must
spend the next three hours in other
stores, paving garments which are
nothing like what she has in mind,
and at the wrong price. So she
comes back to store A, but mean
while the garment of her dreams
has been sold. Therefore, she weeps
because i she is misunderstood,
which is possibly true.
- You may be a sufferer from Hand
kerchief Amnesia. In this condi-
ton, which is prevalent in men after
forty, the victim gets to the curb or
the hall elevator and finds he lacks
a handkerchief. So he gallops back
to the house or the apartment, but
by this time has forgotten what it
was. he forgot. Thus he goes on his
way, >. frus strated and without the
handkerchief. There is no cure for
this, and no explanation.
In the life of the young married
woman there comes time when
she finally masters the art of ar
ranging a dustless mop, a carpet
sweeper and couple of golf clubs
at the bend in the basement stairs
in such way that they constitute a
bear trap Eleven per cent of all
household 'catastrophes have been
traced to this sinister device, and
there is a case in old English law
that a husband who has
put up with it for so long may cite
that fact in extenuation of murder.
Still the practice prevails. 1t ap-
pears to be an instinct in woman.
Perhaps you are type who, when
leaving a store through a door on
which the word "PUSH' appears
reversed on the glass, attempts to
push his way out. You are not
clone. Exhaustive researches have