The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1937-12-30
Sport
81 Wags

- WAS
i BY Chuck Rattle
What Ftin--sOh, what q lovely
gift-to exchange" cried Aunt SUI
sic on the bright Christmas morn
ing as she danced about the Christ
mas tree, until she remembered
her rheumatism. And at once the
big sporting event Of the year was
on.
Some there are who believe a
column Of this kind should be con-
cerned primarily with such stable
sports as basketball and football.
Some believe these the most siren
uous sports. But they are very
narrow between the ears, and have
not seen many Chrdstmases nor
gone through the exchange mill.
There Is no sport so strenuous as
the Christmas exchange, and 1t RI
walls the sale Of Manhattan Island
in what the exchange will try to
get for his paltry gift. You see, this
barter and trade business has long
been one Of he who shouts the loud
est gets the best, and proceeding on
this principle, Aunt Susie and all of
the family are tuning their pipes to
blast away at the poor merchant.
There stands the head Of the fam
ily with a handful of atrocious
neckties, that is when he isn't play
ing with Juniors train much to
IRIS disgust. In his mind is turning
over, What in the name of time
can get for these" So he traipses
to the merchant. And then Aunt
Susie, to go back to her, is stand
ing there with Spanish shawls
that she could wrap woman twice
her size in, and has visions OF just
how much she can get In exchange.
So bright and early the day at
ter Christmas they troop into the
stores bringing their gifts-which
were lovely-but so nice to ex-
change. And just after the mer-
chant had patted himself on the
back that he had rid himself OF it
peace be to its ashes. Now 1t mat
tiers little If the wax from the can
dies fell all over the shawrls, or If
somebody washed the babys face
with them, Aunt Susie must have
what she believes they're worth. SO
the voices rise ON high as the poor
merchant feels his stock slipping to
a low ebb. ''Now can give you so
and so for this, madam" he says
quietly. mot enough" comes back
Aunt Susie. She always knew what
she wanted anyway. So the chorus
continues one after another until
after three days the stock Is all q
bunch Of overIcolored or anemic
neckties and he is ready for the in
sane asylum. Now that Is fairly
accurate picture of what goes on
in the exchange, and 1t proves that
people do not like to buy things
but that even in this day and age
the barter and trade instinct Is
very strong-like some cheeses.
There Is a simple remedy for the
whole thing. Just leave the price
tags on, clearly marked, and the
name Of the store you bought the
gifts in. Then when Aunt Susie ta-
kes back her presents she knows
where to go and will not ruin her
vocal cords trying to trade in a
dollar shawl for a two dollar pair
OF hose. Get the idea?
sSs
Swish-MOre than ever per-
haps the pOpulace Is turning to
winter sports, but unlike years
ago they are more interested IN
planting the carcass on q nice
soft chair and watching some
professionals cut the capers on
the ice than rislxing their own
life and limb on the cleaning
surface. But II you think we
like skating now when a couple
dozen of the young fry clutter
up the ice, you should have
seen 1t back when. Literally
hundreds crowded the ice each
evening, young and old, In those
days. When the SHOWS came
and covered the ice, they turn
ed from skating to the fun Of
sleigh ride parties. They used
the odd mill hobs, very roomy,
too. Up the bake the crowd
would go, hooting and hOllering
until hours later they came
back, snowiaded and tired. But
full Of fun :. Well, that passes
with tho advent of several con-
ditions today, but skating goes
on forever, In our guess. This
years rink here is the hest I'm
several SHOWS, lighted, and with
q good surface. With the Icy
roads and streets you don't
have TO bother putting ON the
skates at the rink. Merely slip
onto the runners at homo and
skate down. You can see them
plying up and down the street
whislking about ON steel. and 1t
looks for all the world like old
Holland One young Lad, TO
70 to his gals house for din
ner, slxated up only to discover
he had no shoes with him. He
dined In stockinged feet. Nope,
won't tell who ------- ------- -------