Milford chronicle., 1937-04-09
DO You Talk With Your
Children?
Marion Brow nfieId

What a strange question to ask
DO you talk with your children +?
but the visitor. the music teache
and the clergyman know how man,
parents talk at or over their chill
dren. quite often talking about then
IN their presence for punishment. |
Is not a wise form of punishment
and talking with children often fore
stalls an occasion for punishment O
an ykind. For example, the mother
VINO discusses good table manner,
IN a pleasant conversational man.
ner with Johnnie or Dorothy Anne
when the family are alone, seldom
mas reason to say in company
Johnnie will hold his fork so awk-
wardly!" Such words are often said
to relieve the parents feeling OF
mortification and sometimes to try
to shame the child into reform.
Most children learn from a sim
pie friendly discussion in private
that 1t is good manners to hold a
FORK or spoon certain way. When
the right way is reinforced by good
example, and perhaps a little pity
10 rsome hypothetical person who
doesn't know better" or "is care
less" children soon enjoy the cor
rect way. OF course such lessons
should be taught and the practice of
them begun in very early childhood.
Talking with children is the best
solution for almost every problem.
When anything is being incorrectly
done, the best remedy is to ask the
child, In a cOmpanionable way, how
1t should have been done. 1t is sur
prising how analytical children can
be of a mistake in conduct, and of
what is right. Once the thing is "put
up to them," their minds are arous-
ed and their memories become more
alert in the pride of being treated as
responsible persons.
Talking with children takes time
and patience, but il is a saver of
time and disaster in the long run.
Instead of endless reminders. John
ME, you must brush your teeth he
Iore you go to SCHOOL," talk with
Johnnie about the benefits of clean
white teeth from the standpoint of
ooks, cleanliness and health. is
much more effective. II is unwise to
'ay to Johnnie's school teacher, "Oh,
Hiss Murray, | have such a time to
;et Johnnie to brush his teeth! I'm
70 ashamed of him, and I'm sure you
lIust be. tooi"
Johnnie, being talked at in this
way, perhaps directly after the
freat: I'm going to tell your tea
her how you neglect your teeth"
oses much of his self-respect. From
hat time on, II is harder for him to (
meet his teachers eye without em-
He's i'll at ease when !
allied upon to recite. and grades .
uffer accordingly.
Instead of trying TO shame any
bid into better behavior by talk
1g at him." let us try talking with
i'm. To get Dorothy Anne to darn
er own stockings may take much
iscussion. We must talk pleasantly
18th Dorothy Anne to see if the ne
lect is due to forgetfulness, lazi-
ess or actual dislike of that par
cular task. If 1t is forgetfulness,
e might try something like setting
lie alarm clock to ring at sock-dar-
in hour! Or. if she's absent at a
nuns, phone her that there's
waiting for her at home.
il is caused by laziness, it might
well for Mother to neglect some
ing Dorothy Anne expects of her,
mething that contributes to Doro-
y Anne's comfort. IL Dorothy Anne
res cooking better than darning. !
other might make bargain that
e will darn the extra socks if Dor
by Anne will bake the Saturday !
okies or Sunday dessert. OF course :
this strategy is strictly home u
air; the matter is not TO be dis !
ssed outside unless Dorothy Anne. e
rself. chooses.
with children. too. means !
aise as well as Strengthening out u
ficulties. II is much more effec- T.
e to teach good manners and good y
1duct with a smile than with a
wn. If Mother says occasionally, {.
en- alone with the child. I'm u
,ud of the courteous way you D
'et guests" or Answer the tele- n
)ne." the child is encouraged to 81
to remember to be courteous. IL
1, too. we should praise children pl
the privacy of the home for sue u
sfully meeting a trying situation. re
we should not talk about 1t in W
Ir presence. before guests. Talk W
about children. before an audi ia
ce, is apt to make them self-con- ca
'us or what is worse. "smug."
alking with your children means IN
ndly everyday living with them. pr
the formation of gulf W.
veen them and the adult MEM WI
! of the family. II develops poise IA
self-respect. Round table dis
,ions allow the child the privil- lei
OF an opinion. and this results ize
eaching him to think more logi- on
y and to apprecite more keenly. po
e does both. his conduct will be
e thoughtful and less impulsive III
hroiIgh life