Coulee City dispatch. [volume] (Coulee City, Wash.) 19??-19??, 1936-12-31
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The Dionne CUNTS Through the
Ewes of NV Old Guide

Ihe DlOnne CUNTS through the
Eyes of My Old Guide
DERCY HAMILTON, the best
L guide and fisherman along
the whole Gatineau chain, re-
Gently hied himself to Callen-
der, Ontario for the single pur-
pose of casting eyes upon the
Dionne quints.
He disappeared upon the precise
date when needed him most. While
this upset me to begin with, there
was nothing to do but forgive him
when learned his motive.
Couldn't you," I asked, shave
had an eyeful of those kids after
the bass season closed?"
~ could that" replied Percy,
stretching his suspenders from I'M
der his armpits, land had just as
good look at 'em as anybody else
leaning over the fence around Doc
tor Dafoe's hospital, where he has
charge of the babies in the name of
the king, but something said go to
it, Perc.' 1t is only a few miles less
than three hundred from my house
to his, just few hours across coun-
try in my timber-hopping gasoline
tank, and worth two days of any
mans time. I sure could have
waited. But being the kind of a
man I am, crazy about children, the
father of four girls of my own, and
with all my wife's womenfolks r'ar-
in to get into my jitney for round
trip to Calender, what the hell was
I to do but say, Come with me to
the quintuplet show and have a
look" ~.
Becomes Conducted Tour.
Percy again pulled out his sus-
penders, which popped back with a
loud crack like the beaver makes
when slapping the water with his
tail.
"You did exactly the right thing,
Mr.. Hamilton. and it is my pleasure
to be among the first to congratu-
late you. How many ladies were in
your party?"
"About five that could see,'' an
swered my old guide, "and no less
than a dozen that could only hear.
They seemed to swarm into the
back seat at every crossroad along
the way. You'd have thought that
at least half of them were the moth
ers of the quints and wanted to slip
the old Doc some new stuff on what
was best to be done right away, or
take the consequences. A tire blow
out anywhere along the route and
I would have been massacred.
Thanks to careful driving, keeping
the front wheels on the road while
negotiating corduroy bridg S
through overflow country, we
bumped along at 30 miles an hour
and about p m. made the front
fence of what DR.. Dafoe calls the
Dionne hospital.
"The two provincial police, who
keep the line moving and see that
the roads are kept open, saw right
away that we had come to see the
quints, and not the crowd. From
which way, Jack?' asked one of
them. 'Hamilton's Landing, Lake
McGreggor, with Grand Lake just
over the hill. Three hundred miles
to the south, officer, the best bass
water in Quebec. These ladies with
me are my kinfolk,' says I. And
can we see the quints?' Sure thing
Keep your eyes on the glass-fronted
veranda, where they show up when
the notion takes them. A good look
free of charge if you have pa
tience.'''
Pa Dionne Gets Fan Mail.
My old guide did another suspen-
der stretch, firing both barrels in
unison. "When you stop to think
that the Canadian kids are the only
ones out of 35 sets of quintuplets
born during the last 500 years that
came through r'arin' and are still
alive" continued Mr.. Hamilton
"why wouldn't I stick around to
have an eyeful?"
"Man alive!" exclaimed the guide
from Lake MacGreggor, ard Grand,
just over the hill, 81 saw them come
out in ones, tWoS and-1 was about
to say threes, but you know what
I mean, until the five of them we're
in sight. Mind you, the windows,
some new-fangled patent, allows
people outside to see in but the
quints can't see out. Good idea,
that. Five girls at any age couldn't
take it without blowing up. I'm the
father. of four-born one at time
and I know. I sure do know"
A forward gesture from the arm
pit out, crack like pistol shot
and Mr.. Hamilton continued, eft
was good business for the govern
ment to take over the job of bring
ing those girls up under DR.. Dafoe,
leaving Mr.. and Mrs. Dionne time
to raise the kids they have left.
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