Milford chronicle., 1936-05-01

i4ouuOu feSlueuce.
heckler quarrels ~ -A-'''
with the orator; Irwin S. Cobb
the crowd Joins in,
about equally divided, trouble Inn
pends. A large calm policeman
plOws through the jam.
"'Ere, nOwP he commands "An
them as is going to burn down
Buckingham palace form on this
side. please. All them as is not
going to burn down Buckingham
palace kindly form on that side"
When you start people laughing
at an agItator you've killed hip
colder than though you used an
ak. l wish we'd club In and laugh
some Of our half-baked Commu-
nists to death.
Rise Of London Boom.
A s ONE state delegation after
"A another swings toward Ian
don, his campaign managers are
as optimistic as a seed catalogue.
To be sure, taking the first heat
doesn't necessarily mean your nag
will win the county trophies, but Il
certainly will cheer up the stable
hands-and sometimes starts a
stampede for front seats in the
grand-stand.
For once in G. o. P. history the
rank and file shun a brother from
the Atlantic seabOard as though he
were a pesthOuse.
At the ensuing convention It looks
as though all the easterners will get
will be the secOndlng-the-mOtion
concession.
And yet can remember when, Il
you called a fellow a wall Street
Republican. you didn't have to smile
as you said it.
Those Americans who are being
grievously taxed because the pow
ers won't pay back what they have
owed rs since the armIstlce for
refnaneing and rehabilitating their
own lands-and that, one way OF
another, includes every living soul
In this country-are invited to save
up these statistics for use next
time they meet one Of those gentle
souls who'd cancel these mounting
foreign debts Not war debts, mind
you, but peace-time debts.
So let's call them by their right
name as we sing: Il didn't raise my
dough to arm a soldier but by gOIIy
that's what happened to It."
Idlers on Relief.
"A 7 LAST we know wherein the
"A League OF Nations really func-
tiOns. 1t keeps a good set Of statis.
tics. Il says that in the world are
24,OO0,00O unemployed, and OF this
total more than half are 10 the
United States. Since we are spend
ing more government funds to aid
the Idle than any country, can lt be
there are persons among Us who
prefer staying on relief projects
to taking regular jobs7
Next time | pass a public works
undertaking I'm going to put the
question to some able-bOdied party
who. II he's following the frequent
custom, will be Willing away the
hours between meals by gently fan
ming himself with a shovel.
A pick handle. as I've often OBJ
served on one rOad-digglng opera
tlOn that's being financed by Uncle
Sam, comes in handy for leaning
purposes.
Kentucky Colonel.
out here they've found q mall
- order theological mill which.
for $40, ordains you to preach.
christen, marry, bury, and-oh.
goodle-take up collections. Mleky
Mouse lately lost his commission as
a Kentucky colonel, but on behalf
OF Joe Penner's duck somebody
wrote 10 and he became the Rev.
Drake Googoo. D. D. Thus are
honors balanced 10 this world.
Recently, when the present bump-
er crop Of Kentucky cOlonels was
plowed under, we natives STAYED
calm. Nobody takes away our h.
tles--Be we're born with 'em 10
my youth, anybody good at guess
Ing the weight OF hogs was called
Judge" and q man who cured
warts with stump water was doc.
tor" aud All the rest Of s auto
matically were colonels, except one
chap who was a major on account
Of having So many major operations
Poor fellow, he died before be az
lained bis life's ambition. He want.
I'd to run somebody's general store
and Be- general
IRWIN s. coRa.
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