Evening star., 1936-03-18
Children S
Chun1S and
Associates
Should Be Those
w orth by Of
Friendship.
BY ANGELO PATRI.

IF THE neighborhood Is suitable to
u the family standards of living the
children can usually select their own
friends from among the group. Class
mates are likely to become friends
because their interests are common;
their tastes and powers are likely to
be similar enough to draw them
together.
There are, however, in every group
some children above the average in
behavior, intelligence and standards
of living. and some who are below.
Friends from either group are to be
scanned with thoughtful eyes. The
children from the upper group are
likely to make those of the average
middle set discontented. perhaps en-
viouS They have more money, more
and finer clothes and can do things,
60 places denied to the others. Their
influence upon the lives of their less
fortunate classmates must be studied
and. If found to be doubtful, removed.
The group below the class level are
more dangerous. Disregard OF rules
is always attractive to law-abiding
children. They cannot help but look
with admiration and awe upon the
one who defies convention, say the
forbidden thing, does the wrong thing.
If to the disregard of social and legal
obligations is added a dash of per-
sonal attractiveneSs, the outlaw is
likely to have a train of followers.
Again his influence must be studied
and. If found to be bad, removed.
Children are safest among those OF
their own kind, of course; but life Is
an adventure, and If the young ones
are never to venture beyond the pre-
scribed boundaries there will be little
of the Joy left for them. And they
stand to lose something gay and excit-
ing and inspiring which is supplied
by new encounters and new ventures.
Let the children test out the friends
to whom they are attracted while you
stand by to study the test and shift
the values.
1t is always a mistake to say In
pontifical tones: "That person is no
fit associate for you. See no more of
him or her." Nothing that one can
say will move a young person to the
side of the forbidden person with
greater alacrity than some uttertng
such ban. The less you like the new
friend, the less you should talk. Keep
still and watch. Maybe there Is more
good in him than you have had time
to observe. Living on the other side
of the tracks, wearing cheap clothes.
using the wrong fork, are not infalli-
bic signs of unfitneSs. They have been
known to show nothing more than
the pressure of poverty. Poverty IS
no sin and people of character rise
out of it very often. Few OF us in
the great middle classes of America
have not known its pinch. Our eX-
perience should teach us to study
character rather than outward graces.
If you find that the new friend
lacks character you should begin max
ing moves to Shunt him or her into
the background. You should bring in
other boys and girls, make opportuni-
ties for showing of the high points
of other promising chums. Never deny
the child permission to invite his
friend, but invite others at the same
time. and choose them from differ
ent sort.
Be patient. Try to teach your own
child sound character traits. What
he is largely determines the sort OF
permanent friendships he makes.