Evening star., 1936-07-31
Helpful Friends Contribute Many New Thoughts Food Coum
|COurteSieS
Must Always
BE Needed
Fundamentals of Eli
quette Same
AS Ever.
BY EMILY POST.

NEAR MRS. POST: I am four
- score-and-ten years and have,
consequently, lived through many
transient changes in manners and
social customs, most Of which I have
considered were sensible to institute.
However, there is one custom which
I do not believe 1t Is old-fashioned for
US to rebel against, since surely
fundamentals can not change. am
referring to today's bride or today's
graduate, or almost any one OF todays
moderns who pays no attention to
acknowledging the presents others
send them. True, I believe they ap-
preciate these thoughts, but, In spite
of the fact that today is not the tran
quill one in which was young and when
there was plenty of time to give to the
social amenities, feel that there
ought to be time salvaged to write
thank-you notes. have sent dozens
Of presents in the past f1ve years to
young people-most Of them grand
children of my contemporaries-and
only occasionally do I receive an
acknowledgment within any reason
able length of time. Notes that hap
pen along weeks afterward might just
as we'll say, "By the way. I had almost
forgotten to thank you for the present
you sent :" becauses they are just
about as casual in their purport.
How lenient is your tolerance Of ap-
probation of 1895?
Answer-Yes, agree with you thor.
oughly that many of today's moderns
are unreasonably careless. And I
might add that there is no excuse Tor
q letter Of thanks which is never sent
at all, but do think that excuses
should be made for the delayed letter
| of q bride who receives an overwhelm-
ing number of presents, and yet must
acknowledge, upon think Of it, that 1t
is the bride who receives the greatest
number of presents who is more apt
to be the most prompt in sending her
letters of thanks.
Dear Mrs. Post: Many presents and
flowers were brought to me PERSONAL
| ly while I was sick in the hospital.
and to these people said thank you
and expressed my appreciation at the
time. Would you say that now, after
I am home and f1t again, ought TO
write notes to every one? Personally,
I think anything too obviously "ac-
cording to form" would be too pune
tilious to have any honest meaning.
Answer-Your verbal thanks were
quite cough, but when you see people
you might tell them again how much
you appreciated the flowers they
sent you.
Dear Mrs. Post-One OF the boys
I know well, but not seriously, asked
me for a picture of myself. which he
would like to take to college with him
in the Fall. I had intended to give
him one until a friend told me that
only girls who are practically engaged
to men give them their pictures.
This doesn't sound reasonable to me
and yet, If it is true, don't want to
give others this impression. And if 1t
isn't, what would you suggest that
write on the picture?
Answer-If he is an old friend there
is no reason why you should not give
him your picture, but don't sign it,
because a name on a girls picture in
college mans room is apt to chal-
lenge the sort of attention that every
well-bred man hates. In other words,
it makes Mary a conspicuous per-
sonality in his room, whereas simply
the face of a girl is as impersonal as
the face in any picture on his wall.
Copyright, 19369