Coulee City dispatch. [volume] (Coulee City, Wash.) 19??-19??, 1936-08-27
BEING A TRUE SPORT

ME- there was very Small
l and succulent Urchin who
j discovered before he had
been on the. Planet many
Moons, that no Individual attracts
favorable Attention unless he ex-
hibits certain Amount of alluring
Cussedness. He found out, as all
kids Of Normal Intelligence must
find out, that his Elders laid down
for him a strict Set of Rules which
they took great Pleasure in busting
to Simultaneous.
AS soon as he could sit on a hard
adult Knee he was warned that,
during the Years to come, he must
be Polite, Unselish, Industrious,
and Economical. A lot of the Folks
who slipped him this rare Dope
were ill-mannered and Grabbed and
lazy and wasteful, but what of it?
Among Parents and Relatives the
Big Idea to be worked off on the
Youngsters is, "Do as I say and
not as I DO"
Many Clove-Eater told him that
when he grew up he must shun
Liquor. The Poker-Players ex-
planned to him that Good Little
Boys played Marbles for Fun, and
not for Classics or Aggies. Uncle
Fred, with both of his Vest Pockets
stuffed full of high-grade Connecti-
cut wrapped Five Centers and
smelling like a Smoke House,
would warn the little Man that he
must never, never form the Tobac-
co Habit.
No wonder that Griswold, when
he was eight years of Age, sat down
one Day and figured it out, in a
Spirit of utter Cynicism, that Life
was a Bunk and Old People were
whitewashed Sepulchres and con-
ventional Virtue offered absolutely
no Inducements to a Lad of Parts
and ambition. :.
Even at that Early Age he felt
stirring within Himself an outlaw
Desire to be a True Sport. He
took note Of the Fact that all of
the Juvenile Paragons who were
held up as Models of Department
to the Ornery Youngsters were pale.
and had sea shell Ears. -
Early Vices of a Semi Criminal
On the other Hand, all of the
Hard Eggs who could fight with
their fists and went swimming in
the Crick before the Ice was out
carried Nigger-Shooters
Griswold was cropping toward a
Fact which has long puzzled and
discouraged a good many Moral
lists.
Robin Hood remains a glorifed
Figure but who is interested in
John Bunyan?
The trouble with straight laced
Morality, as practiced in a perfume
tory Manner in so many Commune
ties, is that it holds out no glitter
ing Inducements. Griswold, or
"Griz," as he was addressed by his
Colleagues, knew, even at the Age
of Eight, that he never would be
respected as coming Buffalo Bill
or John L. Sullivan merely because
he washed behind the Ears and
saved up his. Pennies for the Heath
en-. 1t was understood among 1.-The
Lads of his Gang that the Good
Ones were going to escape burning
in Hot Flames but, aside from that,
they had no Prospects.
1t seemed to Griswold that if he
wanted to be cowboy or travel
with Circus, he had better dem
onstrate an immediate spirit of
Bravado by learning to Smoke.
If he finally could puff at a Two
fer without getting dizzy, it was
because he showed the Optimism
and logged Determination that are
demanded of anyone who would
learn to eat Olives, play Bridge, re-
duce the Weight, listen to an Opus
or read Hindoo Poetry.
7 BY the time he was in his Teens
he owned a Pipe and painfully tried
to use the kind of Language that
would have Mortified his Sunday
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