The Washington times., 1936-11-26
THE VOICE OF
Broadway
Louis SObOI-
Diary Of CoIyumist's S
Pup!
(Bl1bbermouth "WhiSkey"
Tells AID

1GLLS ALL/
Tuesday-Scatter brain is gig.
Cling in that silly ninny.like way
of his and the Queen drops the
book she is reading because she
knows when he is giggling like
that and has a letter in his hand
he is going to make her listen
while he reads or says something.
Sure enough, he says, well, this
is good. This sure is good. Get
a load of this. Will Cuppy writes
me he amt dead at all. He writes
listen to thiS-he writes:
"Be reasonable. 1 know 1
am nobody much. 1 have been
neglected, deSpised, called nOn-
funny and starved by a heartleSS
world, but am not 'late" as of
your Nov. 18th Column. Now
you have gone and spread the
rumOr and that must be the
reason these radio people did
not call me up last week. Natur-
ally, they don't want a corpse
on their programs Il don't
blame the poor man." says the
Lady. "HOw could you be so
careless? No one likes to be
called dead who isn't" He gives
her a look and then reads: "Six
people just called and it's very
embarrassing to tell them / am
not dead, Mr.. SobOl. They don't
believe me because they have
such faith in you P. S.: The
telephone man just came to see
what should be done about the
phone of the deceased. They
saw it in your column and they
depend on you. 1 expect the
undertaken any minute"
Mealy-Mouth giggles all over,
but the Queen is indignant. Il
think it's shame. Why, he's
not dead at all. Aren't you
sorry?" He says, "What--that
Will Cuppy amt dead?" An the
Lady says: mo, Silly, that you
wrote such a thing about such a
nice fellow. I'm glad he has a
sense of humor, which is some
thing you haven't, because I can
just see you hit the ceiling if
anyone wrote that about you;
but, no, you feel you're safe be-
cause" He says. For the
luvoheavenS, lay off and let me
finish my coffee in peace. This
breads stale. Why don't you
have fresh bread at breakfast?
You know can't stand stale
bread"
WedneSday-She tells him a
piece of news at the breakfast
table, and he says, "For once,
you got something there. I'll
use it." 1t seems Miriam Can
tor is going to get married to
Charles Klein, the YOnkers JUS
tice Of the Peace, around Christ
mas time, aind the ceremony is
going to be performed by Miri-
ans grandpa, the Rev. YOelSOn
Of Washington, who is AL JOl-
sons papa, and it seems that
he also married Miriam's papa,
and Miriam's mama is Al JOl-
sons sister, and Miriam'S papa
is the Queens brother, so natu-
arally the Queen is excited,
and she's very dreamy-like and
she says:
"It's wonderful to be a bride.
! feel as if it were only yester-
day." And he snaps: Look at
this shirt-all spots! In my day
my mother used to wash my shirts
and there were no spots, but you
got to give them to a laundry"
And she comes out Of her dreamy
mood and says: "Oh, so you'd
like me to slave over a washboard
just on account of a few spots!
I suppose you'd like me to take in
some of the neighbors' washing,
too-and maybe some boarderS, I
suppose" Rainface looks at her
sourly and says, There's worse
things"
ThurSday-He's reading a let
ter which tickles him, it's easy
to see, and he reads part of it.:
"Look," he says, what Cobina
Wright writes me. She says I
gave lot of courage to people in
what I wrote October 7th. She
writes, You spoke of Sinclair
Lewis when he wrote his first
novel and some publisher urged
him to forget it. When I was
married to Owen Johnson at 16
years Of age Sinclair Lewis was
doing some publicity for Owen. At
that time Owen had a best seller
and Red" Lewis as we called
him, said to me one day with a
very deep sigh: "Oh, how I wish
I could have a best seller" Of
course, we little dreamed he would
have. I am keeping this special
column in a little frame and when
I find people worth while but dis
couraged they will have a chance
to read it.
His frozen pan almost cracks
into a smile the way it does
when anybody flatters him,
which he is a sucker for. The
Queen ignores him at times
like this, because she knows a
little encouragement gives him
a swelled head, so she changes
the subject and says: 81 was
talking to Abe Lyman about you
know who's marriage the other
day and / think Abe said some
&hinn aufnIIu nr,fnW Hn Savs