Milford chronicle., 1936-02-14

! ray your teeth.
/ which Is a mistake
1a4a-l to begin with, be-
,rv,, G cohh cause / never yet
saw an X-ray pho
tograph that was fiatterlng. And
the next thing you know, you've a
taste in your mouth like a drug
gist's dlshrag; and your face looks
like an old-fashioned buckskin
purse, with the draw-string COM
ing undone; and, on the inside,
feels as empty as a haunted house.
Still, getting the upper plate from
a mail order house has its COM
pensations. Hot soup no longer
makes blisters In the palate. Just
a slight smell Of burning rubber
that's all.
A True Maker Of Melodies.
THEY gave a dinner here to the
I son Of desperately poor lmmi-
grants, a modest, kindly little man
who started life as a singing waiter
in a Bowery bar-rOOm. The dinner
celebrated his silver jubilee as a
maker Of melodies. It has been
Just % years since he set the toes
Of the nation to tingling with "Al-
exander's Ragtime Band"
I can think of an occasional pop
ular composer, who might be de-
fined as a person who has a good
memory and hopes no one else has;
Just as now and then-but this Is
a trade secret-you strike a writ
er who Is getting by not because he
Is such a good writer, but because
he has been such a close reader.
But fo- Irving Berlin. 1t may be
said that his lyrics are his own and
his airs are his own and his ideas
are his own. Maybe that's why his
tuneful output is so good-it re-
fleets the spirit of an authentic
creator, a genuine minstrel bard.
The New Champion Bride.
EFORE she seemed to despair
- Of ever getting a start on hus-
bands again and sort Of slowed up,
I used to think Peggy Hopkins Et
Cetera Joyce had the best claim
to the title, "The Bride Of Her
Country" But a new champion has
arisen.
So rally around us, you earnest
Hollywood contenders for the All
American Matrimonial sweepstakes,
and salute your queen. She's Mrs.
Overshiner Patterson Stark
Seeger Gilbert Kahn Cogeswell
Gould Porter, who has just been
coaxed TO the altar for the eighth
time in that many years. And she
still is but a mere chit Of a girl.
I wonder how it happened she
never met any Of the Mdivani boys?
A New Kind Of Imitation.
VXTHEN one Of the New Deal
wv groups - the Presidents con-
sumers' council announced the
other day that Americans have
larger hips than formerly, just
said: ''Well, I'm glad things are
There were several
years when nothing owned showed
a tendency to go up except my
blood pressure, and &c hips are
spreading. it merely means wider
1etours for a fellow when dane
ing on a crowded floor.
But now another White House
pet, the Works Progress admins
tration. gives a real thrill By prom
ling TO expose spinach, proving
here are plenty Of vegetables just
Is good for the diet, that taste
ike something and not like spinach.
Maybe they'll yet find a use for
ipinach--by applying 1t externally.
England's New King.
I'm THE matter Of their ruling
l monarchs, the English are luck
er than some. The crown Is new
sr tarniSneu nor the people ever
for all their kings are gen
lemen and all their queens are
Iueens That's why. | think. Brit
lin win keep her royal line, while
We keep our flag. which ought to
le quite long spell, IN case any
person should ask you.
So, 10 the witty and engaging
'oungish gentleman, who picks up
he mantle that slipped from the
fred shoulders Of a kindly and gra-
lous elderly gentleman, we over
Iere offer our best wishes. We
now Your Majesty Invariably viii
how good taste. and whilst you may
lot always do the right thing--that
would be asking too much Of any
aan-we're dead sure yonI al.
gays say IL
IRWIN g. cCsB.
q Nortn an.si 10 {. neWspaper Aiiiancss