Evening star., 1936-04-19
POLITICS MOCKED
BY GR|D|RON CLUB
New Deal and G. O. P. Done
to Turn by Lampoons of
Witty Punsters.
(Continued From First Page.)

tC0ntlnued From fllSI rdee'j
sounded a lament for liberal leader.
With a majority of the members OF
the Supreme Court present, the CLUB
pictured that tribunal as the particu-
lar peril Of the New Deal. Indeed,
the court was presented as nine
man soviet seeking to run the Gov
ernment, with six members at times
going in one direction and three in
another.
Roosevelt Speaks.
President Roosevelt delivered
speech, which, under the rules of the
Gridiron Club, is never reported, but
in which he is understood to have
given the newspaper men a touch of
their own gridiron. The only other
speaker was Frank r. Kent, column
list of the Baltimore Sun and an
ardent critic of the New Deal. The
United States Marine Band played
an important part in the musical
program of the dinner.
Politics Mocked."
In brief welcome to the guests of
the club, President Edwin w. Gable
man said:
I'VE welcome you to preview of
political year which begins in con-
fusion and will end in November
The national colors wave over Treas
ury in the red, candidates in virtuous
white and taxpayers very very blue.
We march toward conventions and
campaigns. Republicans are trying
to decide how far to 60 along with
the New Deal and the New Deal is
trying to decide the same thing.
so far the Republicans have pro-
duced a field full of candidates and
the country's leading fisherman has
produced boat load of bone fish. Only
one issue has been settled. Our
famous Government scientists have
determined definitely what is an am
berjack and why"
No sooner had the guests seated
themselves than the noise of terrific
gunfire was simulated by the or
chestra. An announcer explained that
1t was the l60th anniversary of Paul
Revere's ride, and that "the patriots
once more are in arms Paul Revere
Hearst and his valiant editors dashed
on the stage to the tune of Yankee
Doodle" vowing in song he would
chase the New Deal reds. and as
serting:
'"The country's going to the dogs with
all these professionals,
The only way to save it is to read
my editorials.
"The Constitution is attacked, I shall
be its salvation.
I'll save the freedom of the press
and Hearstize all the Nation"
DR.. DaFoe Arrives.
Next on the program was the ar
rival of the Dionne quintuplets, led by
Dr.. DaFoe. 1t developed, however,
that present in the audience we're
six brothers-Charles P. Gableman
George L. Gableman, j. Wesley Ga
bleman, Walter H. Gableman, William
N. Gableman-all from Ohio. and
Edwin w. Gableman, Washington cor
respondent of the Cincinnati (Ohio)
Enquirer
It was discovered that this "Ohio
gang" had elected Edwinn Gableman,
Washington correspondent of the Gin
cinnati Engineer. president of the
Gridiron Club of 1886. After Mr..
Gableman had been inaugurated
Dr.. DaFOe gathered the little Dionnes
around him and announced that after
seeing the Gableman sextet he was
returning to Ontario.
A few minutes later the diners wit
messed a telegraph Office where the
manager was bitterly complaining
that the Black Lobby Investigating
Committee had ruined his business.
A messenger boy observed that peo-
pie could not be blamed for not send
ing kilograms since them Senators
get more kick out of reading mes
sages signed love and kisses than
anything since Reed Smoot taught
them to read Lady Chatterley's
Lover"
Black Wires Increase.
Four messengers trooped in and re-
ported business was picking up-peo-
pie we're sending kilograms to Senator
Black. One signed Joe T. Robinson
applauded the Black inquiry as in
"best Senate tradition" but added:
'I prefer reading other peoples mail"
From Princeton the Future Lobbyists
of America demanded to be investi-
gated now in order "to get it over
with" Finally telegram was read,
stating, Keep your - subpoena
servers away from our dinner" 1t
was signed The Gridiron Club"
President Gableman protested the
Gridiron Club had not sent such
telegram. He was informed the mes
senger boys were impoSters. Actually
they we're new members of the Grid
iron Club being initiated. They were
Paul Hodges of the Cleveland Plain
Dealer; Harold M. Talburt, cartoonist
of the Scripps- Howard newspapers;
Franklyn Waltman, jr., of the Wash
ington Post; Phelps H. Adams of the
New York Sun and George Myers, a
limited member.
The club paused for few minutes
in its merriment to pay tribute to six
members who died since the last din
ner. They were David S. Barry, Scott
G. Bone, James P. Hornaday of the
4AANIoAdPOAlo 4NCWSy NdIl ~. fLuGIl OF
the Toledo Blade. John Snure and
Theodore c. Wallen of the New York
Herald-Tribune.
"Whirling Dervishes."
Then the Gridironers turned with
1est to the national political pano-
rama. DR.. F. E. Townsend, head of
the society for revolving pensions. and
DR.. John N. Garner of Texas, head of
the society for revolving Senators,
were presented as "whirling der
wishes" who Immediately broke into
duet.
James A. Farley, Postmaster Gen.
eral and chairman of the Democratic
National Committee, and Henry P.
Fletcher, chairman of the Republican
National Committee, the two field
marshals in the impending political
battle, were asked to arise for a bow.
Immediately the stage was trans.