Henderson daily dispatch. (Henderson, N.C.) 1914-1995, 1936-06-30
CHAPTER 81

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JOAN FORGOT to think OF herself
Long after the last cadence of
Julian's voice was silent. his last
simple statement was there between
them witht its dramatic import of
his quiet acceptance Of a thing that
must have been a tragedy.
n fell in love too late!" he had
said.
Joan wanted to comfort him, to
voice the sweet sorrow his words
had stirre7 within her. Her own
loss Of love. her belief that she would
never again experience an emotion .
tender receded before the wave Of
sympathy she fel. toward him. She
was sorry in her heart for the wom-
an who could not have. or did not
want Julian's love. He should have
had everything! His cup should
have been trimming over.
"Tm sorry" she said. touching his
hand and his heart.
TITS all right" he said. and then
they talked Of other things.
have been? Perhaps she was al
ready married. this woman that
Julian loved. Perhaps even now she
grieved for what could not be. Who
ever she was and wherever she
might be. Joan found herself think
ing of her in the days that followed.
And in her own heart she could un-
derstand why Julian did not want her
to marry and leave him because she
suffered a feeling of loss at the
thought that Julian might have mar
ried the woman he loved and so the
Intimate, delicate relationship be-
tween them-for all that it was en-
ployer and employee however friendly
might not be completely full.
Had that relationship been Of a
different sort, had Joan not lived be-
meath the same roof with Julian and
If their work had been Of a nature
less dramatic, their destinies might
have been clarified to both Of them
and each might have spared the
other pain. But that was not to be-
Thinking of Donald, Joan was
sometimes to wish that she could run
away. that he had never asked her
to marry him, that he had not
tempted her with an escape from a
lonely life. For Donald did tempt
her: he wooed her in the little ways
that make strong bonds Of silken
threads. He sent her white lilacs
that made her think Of earlier
springs when she had discovered the
quickening Of life in her first love
for Win. Because it was her first
love, she chung to the belief that it
was the greatest. not knowing that a
Soman's heart is often capable Of
many deeper loves.
He sent her biography she had
spoken Of once and forgotten. He
took her to indoor polo matches and
outdoor art exhibits He took her to
the opera and to marionette shows.
He bought her an absurd little toy
kitten and pointed out the pear
shaped diamond he said he wanted
to buy for her the minute that she
would permit him to do so.
And all the while that he was doing
the little things that made her love
him. she was facing the increasing
knowledge that she was not in love
with him. that she wanted to keep
this forever as friendship and not
as a marriage. Yet ~he didn't dare
tell him that She was afraid to give
up something that made her happy.
Suppose that Julian were to go
away. to want to get another secre-
tary? All manner Of vague suppo-
sitions suggested themselves to her.
She couldn't go back to teaching
school and ever be happy again. AS
for another secretarial job, where
else could she ever be happy?
She needed Donald and Donald
needed her. else why should he ask
her to marry him.
"Why do you want to marry me-"
She asked him.
Maybe, I'm in love with you," he
answered. But Of course you know
/ don't believe very much in that
sort of thing. If being proud to be