Milford chronicle., 1936-01-24
WHAT OF OUR NATIONAL.
METABOLISM?
By NINA WILCOX PUTNAM

HERE Is an old saw which
says that two heads are bet
ter Than one. Probably the
guy who made up that say
ing was an executioner who had an
AK TO grind because he got paid
by piecewOrk.
But that idea OF his Is now old
fashioned stuff. Modern civilian
tion is not only trendlng, it's posi-.
lively bouncing toward the notion
that GO heads are better than 10.
ana am not referring TO cattle
either, Al least not the kind OF
cattle who wear nothing but horns
ibd tiieff -oWn hides. THE rheads
"a which ! have reference nre called
Experts. They are the bunch who
are called III to figure out why the
other fellows don't work harder.
They are the boys who can tell
II char from charter, and know
how 70 make the head Of the con-
Germ wish he'd graduated from high
school SOS he'd know what they
we're talking about.
All over the world / notice the
same thing. In Russia particularly
there seems to be an idea that 49,
O0O.00O heads are better than one,
but so far the whole lot don't seem
10 have been able to think up a
single constructive idea.
And don't let Hitler or MussOlIni
fool you either They may act like
nne head is hetter than two, but
il you look between the balance
sheet and the blanket policy you1l
find an army Of boys with charts
that show everything from the av-
erage yardage Of spaghetti to the
relative decrease in dogs and in
rrease in frankfurters.
In France they still do things by
ear, and none Of them have learned
10 keep their hands stlll long enough
to fake a National Metahollsh. And
i they ever did get their heads to-
seiher In real business confer
snce Il would probably take years
o uniangle the boards afterwards
In the Tight Little isle (why
lOes England call itself that when
hey are only allowed TO drink
ouple Of hours a dayO. Wen. any. s
Ways. in England they've been run. I
ing The country pretty successful. S
on the principle that one head $
'as perfectly satisfactory so long
$ the crown on Il was handsome
nough 70 attract attention. BUT Il
hey have always been great on re- "
orts, and charts. Charterhouse Is .
ne OF their swanky schools and u
ON the way things are shaping Il
p In America | think one OF the q
'aduates must have sneaked on
'ard the MayhOwer. c,
At any rate we've developed an 81
iidemlc OF running things by q,
cups over here which makes the W
'eat Jlgsaw Puzzle Plague OF .33 tn
Ile by comparison. The infamous dc
z2le makers are hiding their
ads In shame before the onslaught M
these new puzzle makers, be- tW
nse, after an, someone did oeca. III
Inaliy solve a jlgsaw. But when cb
ne one shows yOu a pin.checked A.
zee Of paper across which
lnken hen has apparently walked Il,
er stepping In the Ink. and SAYS ~ ~
'udlg There you can see Tor ~, ~
irself| Well, that's something ~, ~,
e again, but I'm not just sure ~ ~
at ~
'f course it's probably the mod. ~ ~,
method Of explaining every. W. ss
lg aud very much an right. Bur -.
en- I was girl drawing jlggly ~ ~
s on scraps Of paper was con. W w
Il 70 inmates Of the Goofy Coop W. ~.
they were confined because Of =
wing jiggly lines. Well which. y
nay It was. the lines have ap. ~.
sniiy escaped and one Of them ss' s,os
Igngging up and down an over ~. M
ccantry. ~"