The Hardin tribune-herald. [volume] (Hardin, Mont.) 1925-1973, 1936-06-19
The Best Mon By hum s: Cobb

1VAu4A
extra? As Chad understood 1t, in Mex
leo you didn't even have to allege tnls
mental cruelty" stuff. Down there you
could get it for hangnailS or on ac-
count Of the color of the party. OF b
second parts hair, or what would you!
In rebuttal, though, he was told thai
a Mexican divorce was q dubious =
uncertain thing-lke a Mexican peace
willie some fussecattish Old judge over
on the United States side Of the line
had been known to get snooty Q
one Of these Mexican divorces n It's
provisions. Shed heard Of such up
settings Of the applicant. She was TAX
ing no chances. Mexico was out-aoso-
lutely.
No, what she craved was q good fool
proof New York d decree ;s WITH H. she e,r pegr
to get it than it would take IN n OF
these q~uick-order countries where they
kept the iron hot and slapped 'em out
like batter cakes, but when you got IL
you had something, especially II you
lived in New York and held your ctt1,
zenship here and a your pr1ncipa
DIODGIty dklu xllx0k1(4Q4 SS~
and potential, all here. Then, anyhow,
she might open an interior decorating
| shop or she might buy herself n OF
| those adorable little new houses over on
| Sutton place-She wasn't sure winch,
yet-but in either event. her interest,"
for the time being would be near the
home nest. So that would be oil
for that.
But, Sis, listen to me Just a min
,,fa r1oocoD ho rrOtectad HY0ll KNOW
| and I know there's just n statutory
ground in this state for divorce. NOW,
| while I may have failed to come Snort
in several thousand particulars, at least
there's one thing, believe it or not, That
I haven't done while we were acting
out this double sketch of ours-l haven't
messed about with any other woman.
The way I feel, right this minute, I'm
not liable to mess about, either. 80
| what it'll mean is deliberate COLLISION
| with a bunch of Shyster lawyers. And
it means evading the spirit If not the
letter of the law by a cold blooded
crooked plan. And a dirty mess IN court
and my name dragged through n mug:
| And so on and so forth. I'll admit this
matrimonial business of ours never got
to be a real going concern until It start
ed going to smash. Soncede- that TO
be nv fault. Concede that as a meal
| ticket and an occasional dinner COM
panion and a playmate I've been, from
your viewpoint, an impossible PROPOSE
ton. But for the sake Of the old days
before you made the fatal mistake OF
| taking me on, for the sake Of those
| days when you appeared to be genuinely
fond of me and T was fighting Ike a
| tiger to get you hitched up to me be-
fore anybody else copied you off-yes,
| if you want to be sentimental over IL,
for my sake, Sis, why insist on hanging
this sort of transaction around my neck
| when there are so many easier, cleaner
| ways to tackle the same job?"
! And the upshot of all that vain pother
of his was that on q certain March day
he went into town from down on Long
Island-she was living in the apartment
while he was winter camping at q place
they had in the country-and through
appointment called upon a Junior mem
Der of a typically small and typicany
exclusive New York law firm composed
ignated partners-this would not of
course, include senior clerks, special
counselors, and affiliated consultants
and was by that expert skillfu1ly adj
vised as to the jumps which he. as a
gentleman and a husband, would be
called upon to hurdle.
feet" said the Junior member, with q
friendly smile genial soul that he was
and then recapitulated.
"Beautiful-that's the way 1t works
out, MI. Remington, if you only follow
instructions. At 3 O'Clock tomorrow aft
ernoon YOU meet this girl I've been tell
ing you about in that cigar store on
the corner just below the hotel. From
miss her. Anyhow, she'll have a hand
bag-something like that. You can take
her to this hotel and you register as
nan and wife. Go up to your room and
when you get there take off your coat
and vest. Maybe you'd better take of
your collar and tie, too. She puts on
some kind Of negligee rig. You two sit
down together and make yourselves
comfortable-talk about the weather.
Pretty soon-inside of half an hour
comes a rap at the door. The door is
locked. You locked it behind you when
you came in, remember that? You 60
and open the door and there are these
two private detectives that your wife
hired to watch you. We retain 'em, OF
course, through our connections, but the
anyhow, the bill goes eventually to the
client. So that part is all air-tight and
orthodox and strictly legal. These two
fellows walk in and look around and
one Of EN- asks you if you are Mr..
Chadburne Remington and you own up
CnaCS your real name. ana Cney cn1L1
back and forth a bit and then walk out
except at the trial, when the petition
comes up for hearing. I'll be represent
ing the plaintiff and I'll put these two
boys on the stand one behind the other,
and they'll each tell their little story
and then I'll show each one a photo
graph and ask them if that's a good
likeness Of the girl they caught with
the defendant, meaning you, at the
dence and under the conditions already
described. And each one will say, yep,
that's a picture of the said female. See?
You don't testify, don't even have to
appear in court. Your attorney repre-
sents you and he doesn't put up any
fight. so the case goes against you by
default and there's no slipup anywhere
The callers face remainad eYnreSsiOn.