The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1936-12-31

Ism is tnaL ne a professional song
writer-and one of the greatest song
writers alive her name is
scratched off the sacred scroll.
Yet what's an old family but
family that advertises that it's old?
And what is society except Tot of
people who keep proclaiming that
they are society until the rest Of
us believe them?
Protecting Human Game.
e OR the preservation of the less
ening wild fowl, the govern
ment stands pat by its ruling that
ducks may no longer be lured to
hunting grounds which have been
baited for them and then bagged.
But one shudders what would hap
pen to Wall street if practically the
same system now in vogue for gar
nering In the human game was ever
abolished on the stock exchange.
Still, why not leave well enough
alone? If there was no margin
gambling available for cleaning the
poor things, they'd bet their money
on horse racing or the old Span
ish prisoner game or something.
Liberty League Marriages.
THE rotogravure sections reveal
L that they've just opened fresh
crate of du Points, too late to quail
ify for membership in the Liberty
League, because the Liberty
League, alas, is dead of overnour-
ishment, but In ample time to fill up
the background at the approach
ing marriage of the Presidents fine
son, Franklin Delano, Jr., and
charming daughter of the royal
family of Delaware.
That's one wedding where the
ushers will do well to see that the
families are seated in separate
pews during the ceremony, because
somebody might tactlessly be re-
minded of little things that came up
during the heat of the late cam
paign.
Otherwise, in the customary re-
gala of shad-bellied coats and
striped trousers, it will be difficult
to distinguish champion Of the
rights of the great common people
from an entrenched wretch of the
ruggedly individualistic group. High
hats and neat spats make all men
equal-and make some of them
homelier-looking.
Playing the Ponies.
D AGING starts soon out in Holly
N wood, and the stars and STAR
ines may have to make their pic
lures between events at Santa AMI
ia because they'll have absolutely
no time for fddling around studios.
To risk my modest wagers on,
I'm looking for horse named Vir-
GINA Creeper or else Trailing Arbu-
tus. Then when I lose, as / always
do, I can't say my choice wasn't
appropriately named.
If / had a bet on Paul Revere's
nag, Paul never would have made
that famous ride of his. Somewhere
between Concord and Lexington, a
constable would have pinched him
for blocking the highway.
I often wonder where the foot-sore
plugs I get tips on really hail from.
1t can't be racing stable. Maybe
- yes, I'm sure that's right -
they're exhausted refugees from a
bide-a-wee-home.
Future Inventions.
CELEBRATING the hundredth
~ anniversary of the American
patent system, the assembled re-
search sharps declare that among
the boons to mankind promised
US in the near future by our native
inventive geniuses are the follow
ing:
Clothes made out of glass with
curtains, / hope, for those of US
who are more than six years old.
Whisky aged instantly by power
full sound waves. fBut who has
thought of suitable relief for those
who also will be aged instantly by
drinking said whisky?)
Rats grown as big as cows by
powerful sound waves. Il can hard
ly wait for the happy day when
we may afford family rat the size
of a Jersey cow.)
IRWIN 6 CORR