davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1936-08-20
Don't Let Fellows
Bother You About
Lack of Size, Ted
@ New York Post.-wNU Service.

Note to suspicious customers - Euen
though he tUas crazy tUith the heat. the
baldest OF the Bradieys still tcould be
too smart to kick in iUith that ancient
repeated by request" gag. Yet there are
letters iohich keep piling up each sum-
nler and. But enough OF such excuses.
This piece, ,ohich first sato the light
many months ago, is used here for the
numerous puzzled letter-priting Teds
throughout the land.
DEAR TED-If I were you I
~ would not worry about what
the boys say at school. Neither
would I strain myself too much
this summer. Perhaps the coach
is right in saying that you
are too small for football, but
what of it? You are only sixteen
years old and you may have plenty
of time for adding extra pounds
and inches so that you can make
your letter.
Look at Jim Braddock. Up to
the time he was twenty-nine years
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1936-08-20
Coincidence

IF YOU believe that cow started
L the great Chicago fire in 1871,
then you can also believe that a
little negro boxer started the San
Francisco earthquake in 1906. "Dea-
con" Jones was his name and when
he was in his cups, he was quarrel
some and scrappy.
On the morning of April Is, 1906,
he staggered into "The Tip" IA
NOUS barroom owned by Tim Nc
Grath, and demanded a drink. The
bartender, seeing his condition, re-
fused to serve him. -
deacon" persisted in his de-
mand and upon being repeatedly re-
fused became very angry. Finally
he seized the bar rail and shouted,
"White boy, rs gwine pull yo' bar
down if yo' don ge me dat drink"
Refused again, he began to shake
the bar.
Just at that moment came the
first shock of the historic earth
quake which not only destroyed
most of San Francisco but "The
Tip" as well. deacon" was buried
under a pile of debris that tumbled
from the shelves.
A moment later he dug himself
out of the wreckage-sober and re-
pentant. Looking up into the face
of the scared bartender he said:
ssPlease tell Mr.. McGrath I'm Sor-
ry I caused such a Disturbance"
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1936-08-20

New York baseball writers
are wondering if Jimmy Wilson
knows that the Phillies' trainer
practically throws them out of the
clubhouse each time they seek tc
visit the Philly manager.
After taking so long to join the
Pro Lawn Tennis association,
Berkeley Bell now is sad because
he surrendered. A week after he
came through with his dues he was
notified that he had been suspend
ed and fined $40 for playing in I'M
sanctioned matches Harry
TinniswOod, once famed as center
forward for the old LOngfeilOw's
soccer team, now is one of Port
Chester's most eminent citizens
His friends will bet you that
Harry Balsamo hits harder than
any middleweight now in the bust
ness.
Statisticians report that so per
cent of the fighters now competing
on the weekly cards are Italians.
E. Stuffed shirts of sports break
out into cold sweats every time
Pat Robinson approaches them. He
is one of that decreasing number OF
great reporters who cannot be
shush shushed by master minds
seeking to get away with some
new lunacy or larceny Trap
shooting is one sport where youth
does not always have to be served.
Charlie (Sparrow) Young, who won
the Ohio State championship this
year, is nearly eighty years old.
Players say that the best umpire
now in the minors is Van Grafiin
of the International. He once was
in the American league and prob
ably will be recalled to the big time
next wear The community
councils of the city of New York
lack funds for playground equip
ment. If you want to give the kids
a break and if you can spare any
sports paraphernalia, old or new,
get in touch with this department.
The largest cash-on-the-line crowd
ever to witness minor league ball
game saw Kansas City entertain
the Toledo Mudhens in 1928. More
than $4,000 customers enabled q
hometown boy named Casey Stem
gel to take $4,000 back to his To
ledo bosses on that date.
| Al Lane, brother, of the ex-Tiger
captain and tabled as one of the
best football prospects in years
made his first Princeton gain the
other day. He got past the Profs
who had thrown him for a loss or
his first try at the entrance exam:
In addition to managing the
very promising young fighter, Irish
Johnny Clinton, Joe King is bounc
er for a New York restaurant.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1936-08-20
Foreign Words
und Phruses
G

Abusus non tollit usum. u.)
Abuse is no argument against the
proper use of anything.
Auri sacra flames. L.) Ac-
cursed greed for gold.
Bon CHEZ, chase de race. F.)
A good dog hunts from instincts;
blood will tell.
Coute que coute. CD At any
cost.
Esprit DIES lois. CD The spirit
of the law.
Favete linguis. U.) Avoid ut
tering ill-omened words; main
tain silence.
Tempus edax rerum. N.) Time,
the devourer of all things.
Doux yeux. CD Soft glances.
Lite pendente. Cd During the
trial.
Modus operandi. N.) A mode
of operating
Pot-pourri. CD A hotch-potch;
a medley.
In nubibus. U.) In the clouds;
not clear.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1936-08-20


advancing in any fashion, he added
an inch to his height and twenty
pounds to his weight. Then he be-
came heavyweight champion of the
world.
AS for you figuring that lis
pounds is not enough for base
ball player because you have read
that managers prefer strapping six
fOoters, let me tell you a story. 1t
goes back through the years to the
decade that was known as the
glamOrous nineties. .---
Baseball was young then, a tenn
ing, boisterous sport. The ball was
not endowed with the elastic quail
ties of later era, and when fences
were built far from the home plate,
a giant would seem needed to pro-
duce batting average of .432. It
is mark that never has been
equaled since that season and has
been beaten only once in the sixty
recorded years of the sport.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1936-08-20
A Little 1l5-Pounder, Ted,
Made 243 Hits in a Season


Want to know the man who
achieved it as well as 243 hits,
record toward which not even the
giant Hank Greenberg may aspire?
No, I am not trying to kid you.
That pale little fellow with the thin
cheeks and the angular elbows fold
ed across narrow chest is not the
bat boy. This is on the level, Ted,
no matter what the boys at school
may have told you. What? How
could such a half pint rise to the
heights when strapping pitchers
and burly, far-ranging mfielders
rallied to defend against him?
Let us, still ina ginning that we are
back in the nineties, ask him. See
how he gaZeS steadily at us while a
knobby chin ceases moving and a
wad of chewing gum gets mo-
ment's rest. Listen.
"That's easy" Wee Willie Kee-
Ter is saying. 81 just hit 'em where
they amt"
Translated into more elegant
terms, Ted, this atom of man,
scarcely bigger then than you are
now, has explained the superiority
of mind over matter. Blazing speed,
muscles that co-ordinated with an
alert, ever inquiring mind, made
one of the smallest men in the his
tory of baseball one of the greatest
batters of all time.
Along with John McGraw, an0th-
er great little guy, Wee Willie
changed the trend of the game,
caused rules to be revised. Their
ability to tap the ball out of reach
of the fielders brought science into
a sport that had subsisted on force.
They proved the worth of the bunt,
the sacrifice, the hit-and-run play.
Before their time a foul ball did
not count as strike. McGraw
and Keller could stand at the plate
and deliberately hit SO many fouls
that they wore down the strongest
pitchers. The rule was changed.
When they joined the immortal
old Orioles they were such scrawny
little guys that other players
laughed and said they should not be
permitted to do anything more
strenuous than carry bats. They
fought with frantic muscles, fiery
tongues and quick brains. They
never ceased trying, learning. Be
fore long the fans were fighting tt
get into the parks to see them. Fol
more than thirty years after tina
the greater little guy, McGraw, wa
10 continue as one of the bigges
men in the history of the game.
Of course, that was long ago
Ted, but the boys at school tel
you that similar things no longe
can happen. Instead, when you re
turn in the fall ask them about Lii
tie Bill Johnston or Cyril Wake
or Bert Metzger or Morris Ely.
When muscle instead of heart wa
measured they were very littl
guys, but they won against giants i
the biggest of big-time competition
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1936-08-20
Right Leg Proved
to Be the Wrong One

One day a customer asked an
enterprising tailor if he had any
trousers made especially for one
legged men:
Certainly" replied the tailor.
"Dress trouserS?"
eyes, the best you've got"
Hurrying into the rear of the
store, the tailor snatched up
pair of trousers and shipped off
a leg, and presented them to the
customer.
''That's the sort of thing
l want. What's the price?"
eight dollars, sir. The price
is very reasonable.
Jewell, give me { pair with the
left leg off,"
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1936-08-20
NOT IN THE BOX SCORE:

GREEDY National league club
" owners and officials are getting
some determined opposition from
Horace Stoneham. Rattle-brained
parties, who are willing to wreck
the game so long as they can sal
wage some quick and easy dough,
have put on strong pressure to
make him vote for their night base
ball grab. The young magnate's
only answer is that it will be very
dark day before he sells out the
fans who have carried the Giants
through sixty years of sunshine
Max Machon was Jockeys
valet around European race courses
long before he achieved success as
Max Something's trainer Cap
tain Emile Dubiel and Star Full
back Don Jackson were among the
spring scholastic casualties at Har-
ward Joe Doherty, the Brook
lyn featherweight, was an incuba-
tor baby.
Star Halfback Chick Kaufman
hopes to be the first man in Prince
tons seventy years of football to
play through four seasons without
a defeat. He was out of college IN
"a when Yale accomplished the
lone Tiger loss since 1882.
Could there be any truth to the Cos
sip that Navy and Columbia would
like a Friday night (instead OF Sat-
urday afternoon) date for their foot
ball game at the Polo Grounds this
fall? Bobby Riggs, the best
Davis cup prospect since Ellsworth
Vines, has a weakness for soft
voices as well as for soft tennis
attacks. Although only eighteen, he
displays as much finesse in feml-
nine society as he does on the ten
mis- courts Pete Reilly, VINO
has managed more featherweight
champions than any other man IN
history, probably has a new one In
tow. The youngster is Pete Scalzo
who has scored three one-round
kayos in the pro ring.
Mrs. John McGraw, who is re-
cuperating from a long illness, is
visiting Mrs. Christy Mathewson at
Saranac Young Christy Math-
ewson, incidentally, has fairly well
recovered from that terrible air
plane crash and hopes soon to re-
sumo as a professional flyer {.
Harry Weldon was the first sports
editor to use race charts in a news
paper. That was in Cincinnati about
fifty years ago Irish Eddie
Dunno, Benny Leonard's light
weight, reminds you somewhat OF
Gene Tunney Stew SakS, VINO
owns one of the things out Hemp
stead way, says you need at least
$4,000 golf balls season If you
operate a driving range. If you are
lucky and know enough caddies you
buy the balls for 60 cents dozen.
Dir Dean Experiments"
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1936-08-20
=CuriOSa
Americana
Epitaph
Epitaph
ERHAPS the most famous cpl
L taph in American history is this:
By Elmo Scott Watson

Epitaph
DERHAPS the most famous cpl
taph in American history is this:
The Body of
BENJAMIN Franklin, Printer
(Like the cover of an old book,
It's contents torn out,
And stript of it's lettering and gilding)
Lies food for worms;
Yet the work itself shall not be lost.
For it will Gas he believed) appear
once more,
In n new and more beautiful edition,
Corrected and Amended by
The Author.
Franklin at the age of twenty
three wrote that for his own grave
stone. But the idea wasn't original
with him. He borrowed" it from
one of two sources.
In 1851 Rev. Joseph Capen sug-
gested as an appropriate epltaph
for John Foster, who had set up the
first printing press in Massachu-
sets, one which likened the print
er's body to ''an old almanac, for
the present only's out of date, "etc.
But the one which Franklin more
likely copied was written by Ben
jamin Woodbridge, member OF the
first graduating class of Harvard
college. It was for some unknown
friend in which he was compared
to "a living, breathing Bible" and
declared that:
When in a new edition, he comes forth!
without errata may we think he'll be,
In leaves and covers Of eternity!
AS a matter of fact neither Ca
pens nor >Woodbridge's idea was
original. Both probably borrowed"
from a still earlier epitaph which
was engraved on the tomb of Jacob
Tonsen, a London bookseller, and
which contained references to "the
original text" in his life and ga new
edition. in the future.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1936-08-20

old he was kind OF
small for the honors
he really was seek
ing and the grown
up boys used to say
a lot more about
him than the boys
at your school pos
sibly could imagine.
He did not fir e t
about it. Instead,
years after most
men in his line
would have been
kH-4rrA 1~1uy,~r ~
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1936-08-20
ONLY One ESCAPED

In the retreat from Kabul in
1912, 10000 British soldiers were
killed. An additional 1000, con-
sisting of women, children and
camp followers were slain. The
only persons who escaped were DR..
Brydon, a regimental surgeon, and
a private soldier.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1936-08-20
No AIIigatOrS

The outstanding feature of ami
NAL life that will be most often not
ed by the visitor to Porto Rico is
the absence of the alligator, croco-
die, common toads and rabbits,
generally linked to tropical eli
mates, and the scarcity of snakes.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1936-08-20
Natural Gas Less Hazardous

Natural gas is decidedly less haz-
ardous than manufactured gas.
While it is explosive, as all con-
centrated fuels are under proper
conditions, the range of explosive
mixtures with air is decidedly mar
rover than in the case of manu-
featured gas.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1936-08-20

fuses to tell what 1t
is. Most fans would
agree that the Card
ace has plenty of
stuff on the ball al
ready, without try
ing to develop a
new delivery :.
Lesser members OF
the Joe Medwick
family have okayed
the news that the
National leagues
best hitter will be
married this fall
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1936-08-20

Mora-Rescue of $1,000 fish from
death in the drying waters back of
Knife lake and Ann river dam in Ka-
nabec county has been accomplished
under direction of George Weaver,
state superintendent of fisheries. The
fish were removed to deeper waters
in Lake Lily. Lake Eleven, Knife lake,
Devils lake and Lake Full Fish, all
in Kanabec county.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1936-08-20
English Language Leads

There are said to be some 5000
living languages. English is the
most extensively spoken, wit b
some 200, 100000 speakers. Neither
India nor China has any one lam
guage which is spoken by so many
people.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1936-08-20
Things to Prize

THESE are the things I
L prize
And hold of dearest worth:
Light of the sapphire skies,
Peace of the silent hills,
Shelter of forests,
Comfort of the grass,
Music of birds,
Murmur of little rills,
Shadow of clouds
That swiftly pass,
And, after showers,
The smell of flowers g
And of the brown earth
And best of all, q
Along the way,
Friendship and mirth.
Henry Van Dyke
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1936-08-20
Sherborne Fair Noisy

Of the surviving fairs in Eng
land, the most curious is that held
in Sherborne, England. On the
eve of the fair the whole town pa
rades and makes a loud noise.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1936-08-20

DasseI-Dedication exercises will be
held here on August Fl for the COM
pletion of the gymnasium-auditorium
to the scoholhouse
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1936-08-20

Even the slenderest of clothes
allowances will permit including
this clever tunic frock in your
wardrobe. It's the very dress
you've been wanting :. so per-
feet for town, country, commut-
ing and vacationing.
The tunic has a blue polka dot
on white ground and flares partly
from tiny waist held by pat
ent belt. The lines conform to
the current wide shoulder vogue
while pulled sleeves push up at
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1936-08-20
St. John Died of Old Ace

Tradition states that St. John
died of extreme old age at Ephesus
in Asia Minor, between 90 and
100 A. D.. .s-....4
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1936-08-20
Dir Dean Experiments"
With Brand New Pitch

Dizzy Dean says he is "speri-
mentin' with new pitch, but re-
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1936-07-16
Engineer" an Old Word

The term engineer" has been in
the English language since the
early Fourteenth century at least.
1t meant at that time zone who de-
signs and constructs military works
for q type of defense" A century
later the meaning was extended to
include lone who designs, con-
trives, or invents, as an author or
designer; also, a plotter, layer
of snares." The term is from the
late Latin ingeniatorem, from the
early Latin ingenium. Spelling and
pronunciation have varied from
the Fourteenth century engynor
through yngynOre, ingenor, inginer,
engyner, ingener, engenier, to the
spelling engineer, in the Seven
teenth century, the form still pre-
vailing. Pronunciation prior to the
Eighteenth century can be assumed
only from the spelling. In 1870
John Walker indicated a pronunci-
alton identical with that in use to-
day, and this pronunciation Is COM
mon now in England and America.
Literary Digest.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1936-07-16
Elrosa

John Myer called at the Ben
Kampsen home Tuesday evening.
Casper Weisser and Albert
Schmidt made a business trip to
st. Cloud Tuesday.
Metre Grove, spent Sunday with re-
latives here.
Tony Fladung called on Ben
Kampsen Thursday afternoon.
Vic Nelson, of Sank Centre, and
Gregory Dold were Elrosa callers
Thursday.
Math Notch called at the George
Diedrich home Sunday.
Ed Telling was at the Nick Kohl
home Friday evening.
Ben Kampsen was a Belgrade
business caller Saturday after
noon.
Mrs. Louis Michels and Math
spent Sunday at the John Notch
home.
Wilfred Telling spent Sunday at
the home of his parents, Mr.. and
Mrs. Joe Telling.
Art Kochman, of Regal, spent
Sunday at Elrosa.
Ben Osendorf called on Ben
Kampsen Sunday evening.
Nick Hennen was a Rockville
caller Thursday.
Julius Henkel, who is employed
at the Tony Aademacher home,
spent Sunday with his home folk.
Mr.. and Mrs. Jackets, of st. Mar
tin, were pleasantly surprised
when their Elrosa friends dropped
in to help them celebrate their
fifth wedding anniversary.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1936-07-16
PAGE FIVE

Duluth and returned home early
Friday morning.
Mr.. and Mrs. Joe Schloegle and
children spent the 4th of July at
Glenwood.
AL Quistdorff is helping his bro
Their Ira, with his work a few
weeks.
Bill Schloegle and boys and
daughter, Mary, visited Sunday af-
ternoon around Fairy Lake and
visited at the Marshall Macintyre
home.
Herman Korf and Marshall
Macintyre were supper guests at
the Bill Schloegle home Saturday
evening.
Mr.. and Mrs. Joe Schloegle and
boys spent Sunday afternoon at
the Henry Ellies home.
Harland Upton and Lawrence
Tank called in this community on
Friday afternoon.
Quite few folk from this vicin-
ity are spending the evening in
swimming at the lakes.
Mr.. and Mrs. Tony Essler called
at the Frank Doege home Wednes-
day afternoon.
Jerome and Marion Bromen-
schenkel called at the Emil Polip-
nick home Saturday.
Mr.. and Mrs. Joe Schloegle and
boys, and Joe Kline spent Wednes-
day evening at the Bill Schloegle
home.
John Petermiere called Saturday
at the Hubert Rierman and Joe
Joe Schloegle homes.
Elizabeth and Thresa Bieringer
spent Sunday afternoon with Ger
tie and Rose Schloegle.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1936-07-16

Mr.. and Mrs. Nick Marthaler
spent Sunday afternoon at the AL
bert Marthaler home.
Anton Bentfield and Paul and
Mile and Mr.. and Mrs. Jack Bent
field and daughter, Beatrice, spent
Sunday afternoon with Mr.. and
Mrs. Bonnie Bentfield near Alex
andria.
Glenn Uphus and Arvilla and
James Marthaler were business cal
lers in Osakis Saturday afternoon.
Shorty" Gilbert was caller at
Frank Marthaler's Saturday after
noon.
Bobby Krohn, of Milwaukee,
Wisconsin, spent last week visiting
at the Henry Matthiesen home.
Mr.. and Mrs. Martin Marthaler
and son were callers at Frank Mar
thaler's Sunday night.
Mr.. and Mrs. Nick Marthaler
called at the Nick Didier home on
Friday afternoon.
Glenn Uphus spent Sunday after
noon at the Henry Kamphake
home.
Henry Matthiesen and sons
Russell, Elmo and Donald, and
daughter, Marie, and Bobby Krohn
motored to Staples Sunday to visit
friends and relatives.
Miss Lilly Walters, Of Minneapo-
lis. came home Friday to spend
some time at the home Of her par
ents Mr.. and Mrs. Ben Walters.
Miss Arvilla Uphus called on
Miss Mile Bentfield Saturday af-
ternoon.
Mr.. and Mrs. Jack Bentfield
and daughter, Beatrice, spent Fri
dav evening at the Shorty" Gilbert
home.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1936-07-16
Rat-Tailed Maggot

About the middle of the Eight
eenth century Reaumur, known also
for his thermometer, wrote about
the life histories Of insects, and 1t
was he who named the Rat-tailed
Maggot. This insect is very inter-
esting, but it usually lives in foul
water such as about privies and
the fluid in decaying carcasses. The
yellow and black adult resemble
honey bees. The long tail Of the
larva lengthens and shortens like
telescope, so that the tip may
reach the top Of the water, and the
larvae breathes air through 1t, while
feeding on decaying matter, under
the water. Pupation takes place
out of the water in the larval skin.
Montreal Herald.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1936-07-16
Sassafras Long in Use

Sassafras has a definite cOnnec-
ton with New England's early his
tory, according to Prof. William L.
Doran at Massachusetts State col
lege. 1t was probably the first
plant product to be exported from
New England. The sassafras was
believed to have medicinal value
and to be "a plant of sovereign
virtue" The tree was discovered
by Bartholomew Gosnold, an Eng
lish sailor, in 1902 on Cuttyhunk
island, the westernmost of the Eliz-
abeth island. The tree sold for
three shillings a pound in England,
so he shipped several back. The
native sassafras is highly orna-
mental tree. 1t Is not commonly
planted, however, and 1t Is injured
by severe winters but Is hardly at
points near the sea.