Evening star., 1936-03-09
Regarding
Conventions
On Smoking
Also Introductions.
Train and Hotel
Dining.
BY EMILY POST.
OEAR MRS. POST: came to New

DEAR MRS. POST: I came to New
York to work only a short while
ago and as there is sometimes quite
a difference between the way things
are done in New York and where I
came from, will you tell me what to
do under these circumstances? If
am invited to dine in house have
never been In before, is it proper to
light cigarette from my own case,
or would I be looked upon with suSpi.
cion?
AnsWer-H no cigarettes are prof.
fered, 1t is possible that the hostess
is one who objects to smoking. There
fore before lighting one, you should
at least find out whether she inten-
tlonally offered no cigarettes or
whether she forgot? In New York
it is true that nearly all women as we'll
as men smoke. Therefore you can
perfectly well offer her a cigarette. If
she takes one, light one for yourself.
If she refuses, ask her, do you mind
if I smoke?" If she says, Not at
ALL" then you may smoke. If she says,
mo" but looks Yes" politeness should
require you to wait until you leave
her house-unless, seeing that you
put your cigarette case away, she as
sures you she does not mind.
Dear Mrs. Post: How should In
troduce my stepmother? l have been
calling her Mrs. Brown. She thinks
should say My mother" but can't
do that really can't call any one
mother" except my real one.
AnsWer-Call her Mrs. Brown" or
If you want b explain who she is.
call her Mrs. Brown-my step
mother" or MY fathers wife" There
is no other name that you can give her!
Dear Mrs. Post: Does it make any
difference at which side of the table
a woman sits in a dining car or a
train?
AnsWer-There Is no rule. She
chooses her place according to which,
ever way she prefers to face. Most
Americans prefer facing forward. On
European trains the majority prefer
| facing backwards.
Dera Mrs Post: Is 1t improper for
one who lives in an apartment hotel
to go downstairs in the dining room
wearing street clothes and leaving of
her hat?
Answer-With an obvious street
dress such as a suit you should wear
a hat-yes. But if the dress can be
considered suitable for the house,
hat is not necessary.
Dear Mrs. Post: have a sister who
insists upon addressing letter For
Mrs. John Smith" Isn't it bad form
to write for?
Answer.-No; it has always been
very good form to prefix a super
scription with either "for" or to
Our present-day omission of it is due
to our love of brevity.
Dear Mrs. Post: When a family is
having open house, does each mem
: Der send out his own invitations to his
/ own friends?
Answer-Yes, if he wants to. But
/ it is proper, of course, that the invi-
tations be sent in the names Of the
| owners alone.
X * X
Dear Mrs Post: Is it appropriate
/ for woman speaker to keep on her
! gloves as well as her hat on the plat
form before a large gathering? A
woman who spoke to our voman's club
recently appeared this way and while
the fact that she kept on her gloves
/ has in no way detracted from the
/ excellence of her message to us, her
/ foremost reputation as a speaker has
made us interested to know whether
this is customary at such times.
Answer: It is certainly not custom
ary to wear gloves when addressing
an audience-not even at night when
wearing evening dress. In the day
time hat is correct, but gloves are
not-unless some one might be called
upon unexpectedly to give merely
brief extemporaneous message and
not have time to take her gloves of.
In other words, prepared speaker
should take off her coat and her
gloves, but keep on her hat.