The Waterbury Democrat., 1936-12-15
Wrong Title


I don't think so much Of the
title dished out to Edward. ."Duke
Of Windsor" has such Q dry
goodish, haberdashery .connotatiol1
he might Just as well be the
Ameer Of Ascot, or the Baron OF
BOwknot, or the ,viscount Of Four
INLAND. The designation con-
veys no idea Of how or why 1t was
given and I for one am going to
forget 1t. To me Edward, the for.
mer Eight Bail, will be from
henceforth and now on, the Va
vasour Of Finnegan.
Finnegan the First
II the reader has any kind Of
memory he will recall who IL was
that first wrote the name Of Ftn-s
negan In imperishable letters On
the scroll Of immortality. He was
boss Of o railroad section gang
and his SUPERIOR. the lsuperintend-
ent of maintenance, found fault
with the length, discursiveness,
and wordiness Of his telegraphed
reports Of accidents. 30 having
been called on the carpet several
times and given . final warning
that q continuation Of his ohjec@
tionable long.windedness would
entail the loss Of his Job, Pinne-
gan the One, alter his style. The
next time q train went OF the
rails, was hoisted back onto the
track, and sent on its way the Sec
ton boss wired his report Of the
occurrence in o single sentence:
"Oh again, on again, gone again.
Finnegan." And 80 In View OF
the speed, terseness, and direct
ness Of his statement Of abdica-
ton following the period Of rack
ing uncertainty Of what he would
do prior to It's issuance, Edward
may be the Duke Of windsor TO
the world. To yours respectfully
he Is and will be the Vavasour Of
Finnegan. May he live long and
happily with his Vavasourina.
And may the pair Of them be per-
mitted to take an occasional bath
without tabloid reporters peepng
through the key hole and tabloid
photographers exploding bulbs
outside I, observation-disclosures bath
room windows. It will be an his
toric accomplishment II they are
able to do 1t. Which they viii not.
Abdication Goes Round
and Round 2.
n The worst feature Of the nine
days wonder to which these col
umns are now bidding farewell y
that there Is going to be pandemic
Of abdications voluntary and In
voluntary. Professor Jerome Davis
Of the Yale Divinity School has
been asked to abdicate by Pres
ident Angel, There Is no reason,
Prexy Angel announces, for the.
abdication request except o budg-
= etary one in Professor Davis case.
There Is no MRS. Simpson In the
Yale woodpile. Just Q matter Of
cutting down the varsity payroll
Liberals, radicals, and general
nose-pokers into other peoples
business are UP In arms over the
New Haven abdication request
which came before, and perhaps
inspired, the London proceedings.
They say that President Angel
does not like the color Of Prof.
Davis utterahceS and activities,
and that the cut-the-expense
stuff Is Just, one Of those things,
Having landed myself in Q tub OF
hot water over Wally and Edward
I have no intention Of horning IN
on the Davis-Angell iinbrogIiO.
There Is nothing IN It for me but
a further scalding. I might
however, make the suggestion
chat President Angel make q deal
with Gov. LaFollette OF WiScosa-
sin to swap Professor Davis, one
copy Of the Bible let. James YER
sion), q couple Of good linemef,l
and Larry Kelly's sweatshirt ior
President Glenn Frank Of the
University Of Wisconsin, o SOUTH
paw pitcher, and first class slip
horn player who Is also up IN the
Higher Criticism Of the Scrip
lures. But no cash on either
side. Z
In Bad Also ~
President Frank Is In bad with
the present king Of the LaFcl-
lette dynasty ruling Wisconsin,
and. II the newsstories are TO pc
credited. the educational boss o.
the state supported university mas
been, Is beiilg, or win be asked 70
abdicate. No one seems to know
the real inside Of the Wisconsin
situation any more than they
know the true iilnards Of EDWARDS
remuneration Of the British crown,
orb, and scepter. Some say 1t Is
because Prexy Frank has turned
out some pretty lousy footpail.
:, teams since he has been running
the shop. Others maintain that
DIR. Frank Is so completely nuts
that he wants to run Tor pres
ident Of the United States on the
Republican ticket sometime In the
dim future. Personally ] accept
. the first explanation. Nobody,
even a university president. could
( be cuckoo enough to entertain any
such ambition as the second req
son suggests unless he has a SUI