The Washington times., 1936-11-07
THE VOICE OF
Broadway
BY Louis SObOl-
Diary Of a CoIyumist's
Pup!

Tuesday-Guess I'm in the dog
house. Illustrations Pet has been
growing around the house in q
red old bathrobe that must have
been worn by Pocahontas'
grandpa. So got busy on it this
morning and when I got through
you could use it for Maypole
streamers. Either you get rid Of
that hound" he snarls cor I'm
leaving this house" The Queen
giggles. 20, for Heavens sake" I"
she filters, "he'S done you a favor
and me. You looked like a walk
ing totem pole in that robe" He
snaps, I'm gamma keep wearing
it-I like it." She says, II wish
he'd get working on that big head
of yours-that needs a little shred
ding. too," and he glares. Later
at the breakfast table, he's read
ing new little magazine called
Coronet, and he hikes out of his
Sulk to blurt: THAT Paul de Kruif
certainly lays it down. Some sap of
welfare woman in Chicago
wouldn't give a kid that was bit
ten by dog with hydrophobia the
Pasteur treatment because of
a couple of bucks, so the boy dies
in agony. She must feel swell, you
think?" He tosses glare at me
and the Lady says, "Well, if you
think WhiSkey's got it maybe
you're right-after chewing that
oathrObe, / wouldn't be surprised
if he'd caught anything"
WedneSday-He's feeling sheep
lsh today. Seems someone hooked
him on an old sucker racket.
It goes like this. You say: I'll
bet you 2 to l, you add all Yale's
scores and multiply all Prince
tons scores for the season, and
1"u bet Yale's total will be more
than Princeton's." Well, the Sap
figures how can adding scores be
more than multiplying scores,
and he says, Sure, you're on"
Well, the catch is Princeton is
held scoreless in one game and
that makes it multiplying by
zero, so no matter how big her
scores are from now on, it'll be
zero. I'm fish, guess" he says.
And she says, "How much did you
lose this time?" He says, 20, it
was nothing-only 20 bucks"
Twenty dollars!" she screams.
"And you're the one always
preaching economy. I could have
gotten hat for that. No, you
go on squandering money on
foolish bets and I have to go
around in rags" 20, let up" he
pleads. Say, I see Nicky Arm
STEMS back in town. Did ever
tell you how when he was sent
away and it seemed finally they
were going to break up-I mean
him and Fannie Brice-there was
a swell fellow madly in love with
her and begging her to get her
divorce SO they could get mar
ried. And finally, it seems he has
her persuaded. He's supposed to
take her to show one night and
he comes to her apartment and
finds the door open, so he walks
in without ringing the bell or
knocking, and here he finds
Fannie in the wardrobe closet,
tenderly sorting out Nickys suits.
He had almost so Of them hang
ing there. So he walked out.
Therell never be a case Of true
devotion like Fannie Brice had
for Nicky" How come they
broke up, them" asks the Queen.
"Oh, says Know-It.All, "after he
came out, they decided they
didn't love each other as much
as they thought, so they parted
and he married someone and
she married Billy Rose and now
she's happier than she's ever
BEEN.
The Queen wants to know
what became Of the other
Suitor. "Oh, he married, too
to the Swellest girl In the world
there's never been a case of
happiness like those two en-
joy" he says. The Lady says,
Il wonder if they catch up
with you, some day will / ten
derly sort out your suits, too?"
He says, If you do, you won't
have to worry much-I've only
got one decent One and that's