The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1936-07-16
When Ma Leaves


persuaded to leave home almost
against her will, as she felt the farm
couldn't get along without her.
After the first day away from the
home she received a telegram from
pa. 1t read: Everything is fine, but
where in heck are the pumpkin
seeds?
And I imagine there would have
been messages like that every half
hour throughout the week if it hadn't
cost too much. If not pumpkin seeds,
it would have been his suspender but
ton or something else just as impor-
tant.
Pm spending my swimming periods
these days on the beach. At least I
ought to get a good sun-tan.
Unless you have two small chill
dren you won't know what 1 mean.
One wants to stick his head under
all the time. The other one you can't
get in above his knees. Just wait an
other year or two. 1t might even be
worse, but Pm hoping to be able to
get in up to my waist.
But anyway it's pleasant weather
we're having when people in other
places are sweltering.
It it would only rain-says me
the gentleman farmer.
This week l have gathered together
a number of buckets-in anticipation
of lot of crying by Mr.. Edwin G.
Futz. 1 have them handy and will
gladly distribute them to anybody
wanting them.
I don't believe I'll need one myself.
Tears caused by such crying just roll
off me like water from a ducks back.
Isolation is the only cure. He can't
get well by any more such outbursts.
That only makes the Sour Grapes dis
ease stick out more and more. A good
sign that the patient is on the mend
is when the swelling starts to go
down. (Not swelling of the feet). And
that may take years.
The New Dealers are fond of the
blithe expression, "We're on our way
It begins to look as if they should add
-"out!"
Just when things are looking bet
ter, in spite of them, the agriculture
New Dealers, or More Abundant Lif-
ers, begin to view with alarm. They
warn us that if something isn't done
soon the American people will be
faced with an abundant supply of food
at reasonable prices.
Somebody's milking gas tanks again
at night, according to report. That's
not so good. If caught they should be
given a good hiding with the rubber
hose they use.
AnnOyances
What annoys you most? More than
two hundred people were recently ex-
amined by professor of psychology.
The most annoying thing that can
happen to them is to have person
cough in your face. Next is the sight
Of a dirty bed, next is to hear a mos
quito near you when you are trying to
go to sleep and others, in their order,
include the following:
A young person showing disrespect
for much older person.
Flies.
A person continually complaining
about something.
To have hole in your stocking or
in your sock.
A person continually criticizing
SOAACIAllAt6'
A salesman trying to force you to
buy something.
A person behaving as if he Cor she)
thinks he Tor she) knows it all.
A person being inquisitive about
your personal affairs.
To be disconnected while talking
over the telephone.
To have to wait for a person who is
late for an engagement.
To hear a person eating soup nois-
lily.
A person continually talking about
his Cor herr illnesses.
A person putting his Tor her) hands
on you unnecessarily.
What annoys you most? Now don't
say reading this column, or I won't
print it.