The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1936-05-01

passed. VA
At least the veter- ERH@@zs$:4 ~ szza
ans have the argument irwin cobh
of patriotic service on
their side. And isn't 1t true that to
nearly all of US has come a new con-
ception of the national fgurehead? No
longer Is 1t square jawed, self-dependent
Yankee Doodle. It's a generous, jolly
smiling Santa Claus bringing free
checks for everybody; that is, free
until the taxpayers start paying the
bill.
Defying the Almighty.
FOLLOWING the example set some
years ago by certain famous per-
sonage, cock-sure infidel made
speech lately, defying God to smite
him dead on the spot. 1t seemed, first
off, very sound idea, but nothing
happened, SO the gentleman took this
for proof there was no God and
went his way rejoicing.
Some look on this as blasphemy, but,
granted that every man is entitled to
speak his opinion on religion, I'd call
1t pure gall. Think of inviting the AL
mighty to suspend the entire cosmic
scheme while forging thunderbolt to
abolish one solitary copycat of an
amateur Ajax. Would you call out the
standing army of the United States to
kill a cockroach?
Lady Killers.
IT HAS been in print so often you
must know it by heart, yourself:
At sight Of her recreant gentleman
friend, the poor bruised butterfly felt
great sense of her wrongs-the
wretch wanted to go back to his wife
or something equally dastardly-and
the next thing she knew she was hold
ing a smoking automatic that acct
dentally happened to be in her hand
bag along with some lipstick and
recipe for fudge; and he was deader
then the prosecutors chance of con-
victing her for the killing. But just
prior to that Everything went black
before her eyes" There's one detail
which never varies-that going black
De1Ore-tne-eyeS business.
1t was in the case they tried re.
Gently in New York. It's in this latest
case at Chicago IT'S sore affliction,
always marked by total lapse of men,
DRY and frequently coupled with tenn
porary insanity, but it's certainly fine
for craftsmanship. The lady scores
perfect bull's-eye. invariably. I wish
I could go blind to order that-a-
way. I'd be the best quail-shot that
ever came out of Kentucky, instead
of the worst.
Brawls in Hollywood.
NATURALLY, have hot southern
l. Y blood, which seems to he the hot
test there is, although down home l
never noticed it. But up north, If
trouble impended, people would speak
of my hot southern blood when all the
time thought was having a nervous
chill.
Being thus all hot-blooded up, l
adore fighting, if somebody else does
1t. Since our movie heroes always
stage their combats in some utterly
secluded spot, such as cafe or
night club, hurry hither and yon
hoping to be present when an embit-
tered star satisfies his honor by bounc-
ing special order of sweetbreads un-
der glass with mushroOms-twenty
minutes, 90 cents-off some rivals
classic profile.
But it's hard enough for me to &c:
in touch with waiter. let alone
good plate-tossing contest. Today the
war correspondents report two brisk
battles on the Hollywood front. and
I'm absent, as usual.
In the main bout, both gladiators
were script writer's, prOverbially a
tigerish breed. Believe it or not, a
Mr.. Riskin tangled with a Mr.. Rus
kin, the presumption being that one
Of the gentlemen regarded the other
as a typographical error.
English Reds Again.
COMMITTING printed here recently
~ about the way the English handle
their reds and pinks prompted an Eng
lish gentleman to write giving further
details.
'Twould seem that over there all
public servants. including. notably,
state-paid school teachers, must swear
to uphold the crown, which means they
cannot preach communism to their
pupils without violating a solemn oath
and. If caught so doing. they lose their
official heads instanter. Moreover. no
avowed or suspected agent of the
Soviets may use the radio to preach
the overthrow of tho existing govern
ment In favor of the Russian plan.
In other words-forgive the pun.
please-Britain never shall be Slavs.
Rnt nm the other hand Americans