Smyrna times., 1936-10-08
Camp Counsellor Blues

II lust came back from camp,
thank Heavens" said the SIX foot
two, blond giant, settling back
comfortably in his beach chair ana
digging his toes down into the sort
warm sand. 1 followed his exam
ple by settling back also for l had
a faint idea of what was to follow
How I've heard people complain
about camps, but never in my life
have / heard an account such as
the one this particular complaint
ant commonly known as "gripero
had to offer.
In the first place." he began,
taking encouragement from my
accommodating laugh, II lost sew
enteen pounds during the entire
summer. The food was rank; their
menu consisted chiefly of horse
meat and sour cream. I'll never
forget the day we found a horse
shoe on one of the platters. When
we went in to the cook to COM
plain, he chased us out of the
kitchen with knife. The only
thing we counsellors could do to
survive was to call taxi to take
us into the nearest town. By the
time all expenses were accounted
for, this little splurge easily cost
each of us S5. Feature paying so
much for a meal that was fit to
eat"
This didn't mean anything to
me; / submitted a faint her-heh
and let it go at that.
Il certainly pitied those poor
kids" continued the brute, now be-
yond being stopped. Parents send
their brats to camp to gain weight
usually, but these youngsters lost.
When visitors day came, we were
given order to stuff tennis balls
into their mouths to fool their par
ents. We used to stand around all
day on visitors day with our hands
behind our backs and smiles plast-
cred on our faces. All we had to
do was constantly repeat, Eyes,
Yes, Mrs. So-and-such, your little
boy is certainly fine child All
the while our minds wandered off
TO the rotten food and we cursed
the wind that blew us there. Cows
from a farm nearby used to wan
der over near camp. We knew they
were cows only after several days
of investigation. Why, I tell you,
there were so many flies around
them we couldn't tell whether they
were man or beast. Those poor
animals would never have come so
close to camp if they had known
the famine that prevailed. 1t took
all my self-control and pride to
keep me from dashing toward the
cow and digging my teeth into a
choice section"
The poor fellow was so serious
about it that it appealed to my
sense of humor. began to laugh
quite heartily. He didn't appre-
ciate that.
Don't laugh; it isn't funny.
Why, on top of it all, there wasn't
a. square foot of level ground on
the place. When the youngsters
fell into line they stood at atten-
ton only by sheer physical force
You try standing at attention on
an incline. Good Heavensl 1t was
50 bad that when we went out to
play tennis we donned Alpine hats
hob-nailed shoes and carried
stocks. The nets were in the val
ley. / actually acquired the art
of yodeling. Want to hear me
No? Q. X. Let's go up and get
something to eat; I'm starved
What if 1 did just have lunch. I'm
starved anyway. I'm starved, ]
tell you; I'll always be starved af-
ter not having eaten decent food
for whole summer"
Seeing that he was becoming
violent, I threw him a sand crat
and with Chew on that for a
while" / santered casually away
to get something to eat. 1 was
starved tooi
D. Randlofl