The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1936-07-24

STUCK around 100
long after the fighting ended in
1918. Makes me think of a col
ored labor battalion who went on
the loose at Brest on Armistice
day.
A hardboiled top sergeant round
ed them up:
'Get to work on dem freight
piles" he commanded.
''But de mess al done over" de-
clared a spokesman. "And us boys
only enlisted fur de duration of de
war"
''Lissen," barked the sergeant,
ode war may be over, lax you spe-
CITES, but fur SIGH ez you de dura-
ton amt hardly started"
Woes of French Hotels
IF, OVER the woes of the French
resort hotels, anybody catches
me shedding a tear, it'll come out
of an eyedropper and not from
the heart I'm thinking particular
ly of the romantic and soulful Riv-
iera, which, under the surface, is
just as romantic as an adding ma
chine and soulful as cash regis
ter.
There, where E. Phillips Open
helm once delighted to "op' and
the Yankee suckers rushed in,
ready for their skinning-and never
disappointed-is the original home
of the def short-change and the
mastodonic overcharge. There I've
seen many a mistake made in the
bill and never yet one in favor of
the customer.
Influenza Complications
g INCE the last bedside bulletin,
~ so many souls have inquired,
that I am offering supplemental
report on the work of the wrecking
crew.
First I cracked an ear drum.
(Cries of ''Whose?"O Then this
clinging California influenza moved
slightly south by west within your
correspondents area. So now I've
fallen into the hands of a throat
specialist.
A fine fellow-but easily satisfied
in the matter of entertainment. His
idea of a sprightly conversation is
to hold down my tongue with a
spoon and have me say "ah." What
I claim is, when you've heard one
"Ah," you've heard 'em all. But
he fairly hangs on my words.
There's a CLEAN in his eye I don't
like. He's beginning to crave my
tonSilS.
Taking Political Sides
TODAY some entirely fair-mind
4 ed patriot who is Struggled up
close to the throne or hopes soon to
be, proclaims: "Landon is as syn
thetic as rubber duck. Roosevelt
is the only hope of an imperiled
people. What price constitution
when we can have frankfurters?"
Tomorrow another gentleman,
who likewise is as unbiased as a
spitefence, bursts forth with some
thing like this:
"Re-elect Roosevelt and your
country forever is wrecked. Lam
don alone can save our threatened
institutions. A real statesman. He
eats in the kitchen and hates to
wear neckties."
Meanwhile, Mr.. Roosevelt re-
mains calm and seemingly conf
dent. Governor Landon remains
calm and seemingly hopeful.
The Two Opposing Camps
ON THE Republican side there
" temporarily is lull. Incredi-
BILE though it sounds, Col. Theodore
Roosevelt, Jr., is not getting ready
to run for anything. Later reports
may change this.
Organizing the speaking bureau
for the Democrats, Chairman Ray
burn does not list among the chos-
en- orators the name of his most
distinguished fellow Texan. In
vaudeville it breeds a laugh when
the second half of the sketch makes
the wrong answers, but politics is
something else again. Can it be
that Uncle Jack Garner has become
the Oracle Allen of his sex? Only
they do let Oracle talk!
A writer who isn't taking sides
wonders at length whether the