The Waterbury Democrat., 1936-06-23
Latest Styles
Your Children
By Olive ROberts Barton

Each wave of thought that sweeps, the shore of behavior leaves Q little. more sand behind it, and from each we learn something. Otherwise fads and reforms would go for nothing. !
 Not long ago, how well we re- member, the scholars of child be-s havior were promoting happiness. alone as a background for charac-, ter, not merely happiness, but privi-, lege to the point of license. "self-. expression" 1t was christened If you recall and was supposed to back, inferiority of the map"
 Experts Reverse View
 Now the barrage of opposition Is being heard over the general din. Up speak the good doctors to say. that doing things we don't like to. do, placing our feelings and desires in the background and forgetting the "I" of 1t, makes men and wo-,, men. And 50 1t does, but 1t can discourage them, too.
 "So what" ask Mir. and Mrs. Parent in bewilderment, "are we to do2"
 Altogether I think there is too much positive opinion for and . against the whole business. I be-, lieve the average child's life cone, sists of expressing" himself sorne-. times and working against his, will" ct others, enough to let each influence get in its own good work. Certainly children need to be happy. Adults do, too. This does not mean that any need to live in. perpetual state of excitement, going places, doing things, getting what we want. But though these be the savor of existence, . general, state of well-being and security Is what mean by happiness. Learn From Experience There are many times when 1t iSg wise to give Q child his head and. let him win Q victory without out. meddling. Certainly this sets him up, gives him courage and adds inches to his self esteem. The over- l, ly-reginented child loses spirit and interest after Q while, or else he bottles up o vague resentment and promise that someday ,someway, he, will let go with bang.
 To this extent we would be wise to recognize the necessity for self expression. Also praise and en- couragement must be given their due as faith-promoters, The latter are particularly productive of results in your children.
 And as for doing things we hate to do," most of us get plenty of 1t. and SO do the children. <
 Children don't like errands, or school, or home tasks, or going to , bed or practicing. They do them. though. s
 Remedy Hits BulI's.Eye Y
 As for inferiority, 1t comes from l, Q dread of other people, whether we are doing what we want or not. l, Some say 1t can be cured by doing : things FOR other people, and x' think this is Q bulls eye indeed.
 But here we strike another sflag. We have known people to spend their lives doing favors from Q poor, motive; ingratiatlng themselves in-, to the good graees of the favored, This is no remarkable virtue: 1t iss an extreme form of ego or self-s interest. To do favors from Q gen-. eral sense of duty is something else again.
 Study the child. Mix the dose. He may need more string to act, or less, according to his nature. He, may need more urging to do those. things distasteful to him or be let. of for while. He should learn to, disregard how he feels In way, and lose his self-conscious sensitive ness. But no book can tell exactly how it is to be done. because your child is your own and no two are alike. Copyright, 1886, NEA Service, 1hc.) |