Evening star., 1936-04-01
1t Becomes, Instead,
Article on Getting Rid
Of Mates in Springtime
Some Elaborate Techniques Are Cited, But
Final Analysis Shows Simple Methods
Are Most Effective.

Of a husband by any Of the recognized
systems which make page one. hom.
icide, etc, Is definitely not cricket.
The use OF such methods not only
is to be criticized for the lack of
poesy in them, but 1t Is totally un-
necessary as well.
CONSIDER as a substitute. the
rather involved but effective
method employed by Ruth X. Ruth
K, in case explanation is necessary,
is wife one used to know. Her hus-
band, George, was mighty fine fell
low, too.
1t was Ruth KS idea that the first
thing to clean out of house when
Spring cleaning time arrived was the
husband. George agreed. So, come
time to cleanup, she would suggest
that he go to hotel to live until the
house was dressed in its Summer garb.
She was to call him when it was time
to come home. Sometimes it was
pretty late in the Summer before she
remembered to call him. On two oc-
casions, when she did remember, she
found he had forgotten her. 1t gave
to Springtime every year a piquancy
that favored the lives Of few of their
young married acquaintance.
As time went on they both discov-
cred that it no longer was necessary
to make awkward explanations to
friends and acquaintances. To be
sure, it sounded rather funny to hear
Ruth saying on q balmy nloonlit
night in July that George was away
for Spring housecleaning, but eventu-
ally jaded eyebrows no longer lifted
when she spoke thus.
Theirs, Of course, is but one method.
IF it sounds mildly less than q plaus-
ible way to get rid of a husband,
you might find the method OF another
couple more to your liking.
Let us call them Charles and Ev-
elyn, for the good reason that their
parents had 50 named them. 1t was
brilliantly, acrimonious life that these
two lived. Throughout the long Win
ter their arguments we're so heated
that it was necessary to burn incense
to rid the house of the odor Of sui
phur. But behind all the flame and
fury was a purpose.
That purpose was Evelyn's inten-
ton to finally-along about the 1st Of
April-reach the stage when the only
surcease was to 60 home to mother
for while. Charles, Of course, had
hunch that Evelyn's mother was
just a fgurehead on such occasions,
but it was Spring and he was always
glad to see her 60. Their leave-tak-
ings at the railroad station were tear
ful and tender scenes; but only the
spectators were fooled. Charles and
Evelyn never were.
It Is not to be inferred from reading
these case histories that these are
the only methods of getting rid OF
husbands in the Spring. There are
other and simpler ways.
THE fact Is that one really need do
nothing. Given half an oppor-
tunity. almost any husband will make
neat disposal of himself. He will call
some evening to say he won't be home
to dinner, and the wise wife will let
the matter drop with no more than a
mild warning that he Is mot to work
too hard"
Or, having come home to dinner
(some Of the more economical ones
do thaD. he will get up from the
table and curse the weak moment
that made him join the college fra
ternity that Is having its alumni get
together tonight" The intelligent
wife, in such a case, will assure him
that it will be fun meeting all the
fellows again She can hope, of course,
that 1t won't be.
The wives who have the least trouble
getting rid Of husbands temporarily
are those who are best able to dis
guise a sincere longing to do so with
out overplaying the scene.
Why not try it? Rumor has it
that 1t is fun to be free, sometimes!