Evening star., 1936-12-10
It's Better to
Teach Child
Self-Control
Bad Idea to Make
@ Excuses for III
Behavior.
BY ANGELO PATRI.

RRUNO was visiting. his cousin.
~ Things had not been going very
we'll. Cousin Peter was 2 years older
and many years more experienced
He did everything very well, that
Bruno did very badly. He threw a
bail true and straight and far; Bruno
sent it everywhere else but the right
place. Peter could run like streak,
Bruno painted far in the rear. Where
Peter led in the games, Bruno sat on
the bench and scowled darkly at the
proceedings. Seeing that scowl and
the hunched shoulders, the other chill
dren left him severely to himself.
None offered to share the bench, none
offered bite Of his apple or the half
Of his gum.
In the afternoon, when the visit
was drawing to close, the two boys
we're in the play room together and
Peter was proudly displaying his new
airplane. I'm going to race her next
Saturday. and bet she'll beat every
thing in sight, said he. Then it hap
pened. Bruno snatched the plane and
with extraordinary accuracy of aim,
seeing that he had hit nothing he
aimed at all day, sent it crashing
through the window.
Next day when mother could speak
without choking she said to her vexed
sister, Peters mother, "I know it was
dreadful of him. but I know just why
he did it. You see Peter does every
thing and he feels he isn't anybody
beside him, SO that's why he did it.
I know the reason, you see, SO can't
be so hard on him. He felt so out of
things. That's why he did it. OF
course, he shouldn't, but you can see
why"
One can see that child might feel
helpless and jealous in the presence
Of ability greater than his own, but
while that caused an outburst of tenn
per, it is not the cause of the diff
Guilty. The reason for mistake goes
deeper than the surface and touches
the cause, which Is far more forcible
than any reason. A reason for weak
ness and lack of control is not enough.
It cannot excuse it. 1t cannot cure it.
To accept a child's feeling of in
adequacy as an excuse for destructive
and futile behavior is to make very
grave mistake indeed.
When an 8-year-old child, rather
helpless for his age, plays with q
competent 10-year-old, he needs some
self-control. and some appreciation
Of his situation. His mother, knowing
his weaknesses, ought to have trained
him to control his temper. deaden his
jealousies, and direct his attention
toward strengthening his own weak
nesses. And she might have taught
him to cheer FOR the good players and
hope to be in their class by and by.
Good sportsmanship, the term for
self-ccntrol, comes by slow stages. It
must be started early and kept to the
fore throughout the formative years.
We have to be careful about ac-
cepting reasons for i'll behavior in
stead Of getting down to the causes
and changing them. It does not help
to say, "Well, he forgot himself" HE
isn't used to being with other chill
dren." "His old teacher made such
q lot Of him. Its hard for him to feel
neglected" It won't do. Go behind
that reason, get under it, to the cause
Of the child's feeling. Reach. the in
adequacy and begin to build 1t up.
And teach the child self-control.
Bad temper. destructive actions,
wordy abuse come with poor grace
from children Of this age. They need
training, discipline, control. and they
must come from within themselves.
Long teaching and practice bring
tham.