The McDowell times. [volume] (Keystone, W. Va.) 1904-1941, 1936-09-18
THE FLAPPER FEUD

|NNCE there was a Lone Mar
who was compelled to take 6
ride on the new kind of Bus which
is helping the Zinc Elizabeth tc
make a Joke out of the average
Passenger Train. This Conveyance
looked like a Battle Ship with
Wheels. 1t breathed Blue Smoke
and made Noise like Niagara
Falls, and when it came surging
along rural highway the Chickens
would beat it far behind the Barn
and remain there for Days.
The Traveller, who had planted
himself in one of the spring Seats,
had couple of fresh magazines in
his Lap and counted on finding out
how all of the Butter-and-Egg Men
started as Weed-Pullers and got
their Kale by hiring Employees who
were too dumb to steal. Like many
other Readers, he was keen for
these Confessions of the Successful,
little suspecting that most of the
Strong-Arms who have taken it
away from the Common People hide
their Black Jacks and Masks after
they become Bank Directors and,
after that, want to talk about Paint
ings and the Opera.
He had just started to eat up a
TIN illing Piece entitled, "How 1t
Feels to Be Red-Headed" when his
Attention was directed to two Pearls
of Young Womanhood planted
directly across the Aisle.
CLAUDINE'S POROUS EATS
They were Regulars and had
overlooked Nothing They were
clipped high and had been dipped
in Flour and had large rolling Eyes
and wore One-Piece Gowns which
did not seem to be securely fast
ened. The Exposure included a
long vertical Stretch of what is
called the Shin-Bone.
This traveller had no desire to
pry into the Secrets of these Cuties,
who probably came of Refined Peo-
pie, no matter what they looked
like. he was no Eavesdropper, In.
terloper or Buttinsky. If he could
have kept out of their Condolences
he would have done so. But his
only chance would have been to get
off the Bus.
Because he could not help him.
self, he heard the whole Story, in.
volving an undramatic Prologue, q
treacherous Betrayal, Scandal and
Dirt, Plot and Counterpart, the dis
solution of friendships and the bust
up Of Loves Young Dream.
Everything had been o. K. be.
tween Edna and Claudine up to the
time Of the Picnic. It must have
been because the two of them
packed in the Aame Basket, and il
was understood, from the Begin.
ming, that they would eat with Ray.
mond and Ollie, but nothing was
said before the Picnic about Clau.
dimes Boob Cousin from Springfield
who was nothing but Ringer and
had an Appetite like a Horse.
1t wouldn't have been so bad Il
Claudine had come through Fifty.
Fifty, but she was always looking
for a Chance to make a Splurpe
WIN SOMEBODY else'S Chow.
ELMER THE GOOF
All of that Rough Stuff at the
Picnic might have been forgotten h
she hadn't traipsed all over Town
the next Week telling Everybody
that Edna had told Alma that Raw
mond was going to be Captain OF
the Basketball Team instead of FL.
mer. Always trying to start some
thing. Her Middle Name was Ger.
tainly War.
1t was Funny Thing that Clau-
dine would knock Raymond the
way she had and then 20 out tn
vamp him. And get away with i'll
Right from the Start Claudine had
misrepresented, In every Way.
Shape, Matter and Form, every.
thing that Edna had said about tho