The Washington times., 1936-01-03
NOW
Alcoholic StOOqe
For M'CGrL
CYNIC SPEAKS
BY HELEN ESSARY

UnlCeo states, John n. McCaTIi
that clear-eyed man of courage
who looks firmly at any admin
istration and declares, "You are
not legally spending money that
has been appropriated" says he
J takes a Drinking Companion
along when he goes to parties.
Mr.. McCarl is a tomato and
orange juice addict. He doesn't
like gin or Scotch or such liquids.
HoStesses sometimes think non
drinking guests are difficult. So,
Mr.. McCarl tells me he keeps
near him, before and after din
ner, fellow to whom he can pass
his cocktails and highballS. This
custom, he insists, is better than
emptying the glasses into the
ferns.
I looked about the supper
party of the Charles H. Tompkins
night before last for this Alco-
holic Stooge. He was nowhere to
be found. Mr.. McCarl was con-
tentedly slipping a cup Of coffee.
Mrs. McCarl, very beautiful per-
son, was eating plate of salad.
Regardless OF Mr.. McCarl's pas
sion for honesty in numerals on
national funds, his drinking COM
panion is probably an imaginary
figure.
Comptroller General McCarl in
six more months will finish his
15-year term of office. During
the past IA years and half he
has recorded the spending of pe-
tween IS and 40 billions OF dol
lars. The next six months will
add millions to this amazing sum.
A cynic we know kept a record
Of his social activities on New
Years Day. He declares that he:
Parked his car in II snow
drifts.
Skidded down, across and side
wise 172 sheets of ice.
Rang II doorbellS "a times.
Said Happy New Year 54312
times.
Said 81 certainly wish the same
to you" 2352A times.
Stood with glass or cup IN
his hand for 324 minutes on both
feet: 1853 minutes and So seconds
on the right foot and 157 minutes
and "a seconds on the left foot.
Drank IA cups Of eggnog, 2
Martins, 4 highballs, Tom and
Jerry, cup of coffee, but no
\ water.
; Ate 10 small Sausages on tooth
picks, 6 squares of fruit cake, IL
Virginia Ham biscuits, 6 cheese
sandwiches, 5 helpings Of baked
\ beans, 2 slices of roast pig, a
pound and half of potato chlps'
/ piece of stuffed celery, one bot
tie of olives, 3 turkey sandwiches,
but not one square meal.
Said, "No, that is my hat" II
times.
And so prepared himself in a
civilized world for a clear out
look on the year Nineteen Thirty
Six.
The John Oliver La Gorces-Dr.
La GORGE is a very Special Person
in the National Geographic Socl-
ety-are birds of tropical passage
by adoption.
They are leaving on Monday
for two months at Miami Beach.
DR.. La Gorce, who helped his
friend, Carl G. Fisher, raise
Miami from a mangrove swamp
was the inspiration for the nam
, ing of the La GORGE Golf Club,
at Miami, DR.. La GORGE never
nlays golf. Nor does he live on
fhe Miami street named La GORGE
Driveway.
The new La Gorce cottage at
t. Miami is a nice type OF west
y indian colombian architectural
form more adaptable than the
spanish. Mrs. La GORGE, by the
way. is indecently young and
pretty to be the grandmother OF
two boys and a girl.
Madame SEE, the lovely wife
Of the Chinese Ambassador, has
gone to China for a little holiday
away from strenuous social Wash
ington.
The Ambassador and Madame
SEE have a brilliant family. Their
younger daughter, who has been
at school in England, at the age
Of IS, is ready to enter Oxford
University. She must wait tWo
years, however, before she reaches
the age when Oxford accepts stu
dents.
The elder Miss SEE is studying
painting in New York, according
I to the ancient Chinese tradition.
This form of art is painstaking
and delicate. No line, once put
on canvas or silk, is ever changed.
Mistakes can never be corrected.
While exchanging Christmas
presents down town, I ran into
10 girls from Miss Madeira's
school. They were shopping in
a phalanx in such a business-like
manner that I had to find out
what they were about. They had
collected sum of money for a
poor family, part of which they
had expended in Christmas gifts
The rest they had apportioned for
the New Year-so much for the
boy Of the family, so much for the
girls, another amount for the de-
serted mother, and still another
for food and milk.
This group Of girls, just enter
anp their teens, consisted Of Lucy