The Washington times., 1936-10-16
THE VOICE OF
BFOadW aY
BY Louis SoboI
Diary Of a
CoIyumist's Pup!

"WhiSkey'S" intimate reUeldtionSU
Tuesday Little Importance is
home today. I guess he's dying,
because he hasn't let out a yelp.
He even patted my head today in
stead of kicking me out of the
room like he always does, and he
says, "Whiskey, you think you lead
a dogs life. You should be sick
like 1 am. I gotta write a piece
for the paper and 1 got nothing to
write about" The Queen comes
in and she says, For Heavens
sake, stop fooling around with
WhiSkey and take that medicine.
DR.. Michael says you should take
1t every two hours and keep warm"
He says, Eyes, Honey" like he wds
a baby, and I tell you, dear diary,
1t makes me sick just to listen to
him with that butter-melting-in-
his-mouth tones like the end of
the world is coming and he wants
to go out having everybody love
him. Leona comes in with the
mail and she sets up his typewriter
on the bridge table. He says,
''Leona, I'm very sick-very sick.
What'll I write about?" And she
says, There's a good line here
from Jules Levine about a postage
stamp is useful because of its
ability to stick to one thing until
it gets there" and he says, We'll,
good God, one good line doesn't
make a column-What'S the mat
ter with you, you losing your
brainS?" and she says, well,
maybe, it's an idea" and he yellS,
Idea for what-for what? Don't
come here with ideas unless you
got something to back it up" So
Leona ShrugS her shoulders and
says, Mister Sobol, for what you
pay me a week, don't expect me
to write your column, too. I just
thought it was an idea-like-
we'll, you could point out the peo-
pie who thought they were licked
and how they came through and
won out" and he says, We'll, by
God, for the first time, you have
got an idea"
So he sits down and he bangs
away and when he's finished
he calls in the Queen and
makes Annie quit the kitchen to
come in, and I sit there just
for the fun, and he reads some
thing he calls postage Stamps
of Life" and he says: What
do you think of it?" And the
Lady says, at sounds all right,
1 guess" He yells, "All right
you guess! Why, it's terrific.
Another guy laid up the way
am, with his head swimming,
would just say to hell with it,
but you know, honey, with me
when I'm sick the ideas just
come tumbling in one after an
other" She says. 81 guess you
have a little fever-gO back to
bed"
Wednesday-He's still in bed
and it's hell around here the way
he orders everyone about. A fell
low, some editor guy, named Rob
ert Pines, of College Humor, calls
up and hear Big Shot say,
well, I'm laid up, too" and then
I hear him say, well, okay, I
wouldn't let you down." 1t seems
from what he tells the Queen the
editor is expecting a piece from
a fellow named Broun, who is sick,
and he's got to have the article
by tomorrow or the magazine
can't come out. They always
come to me-" he brags because
I never let no one down-sick or
we'll. I keep on going" so he
goes to the typewriter and he
spends hours there; then he calls
them all in and reads it to them
and gets sore as the devil
because nobody says it's good or
even makes out they like it.
"Yeh, when the check comes you'll
grab it," he snarls. You don't
care what I do or how I feel as
long as those checks come in"
and the Lady says, mo one
asked you to do it," He says,
my God, I can't let them down."
and she snaps, 20, why don't you
let yourself down; I'm tired of
hearing you talk about yourself"
He losses her glare and says