Evening star., 1936-06-22


Henry Breckenridge for Presi-
dent.
Cousin John Hamilton, the Landon
leader, will support the New Deal
right down the line.
General Jim Farley will vote the
straight Coughlin ticket and give all
his post Offices back 10 the Indians.
Representative Zioncheck will be
promoted to the Supreme Court.
Senator Wild Will Lyons will reach
for a dinner check
One-eyed Connolly will pay his way
into the convention.
Aimee Semple Mcpherson will re-
fuse to pose for cameramen.
Jane Withers v1ll be the next heavy.
weight champion,
Billiards will grip equatorial Africa
and there will be skating on the Congo
next week
Now Listen.
II you think these predictions are
made In a spirit Of levity, let me give
| you the facts OF the case. Your cor.
respondent has just escaped from a
! sanitariun deep in the Catskill
Mountains, to which all sports ex-
perts and licensed boxing authorities
who picked Ox-Joe Louis to murGer
Schmeline were taken late Friday
night for a compulsory rest cure.
The police did not miss a single
one of us in their exhaustive round
up. Every suspicious character
every one remotely resembling
| sports writer-was caught in the
draenet, Two or three of the bows
tried to hide under ringside seats at
the Yankee Stadium. but they we're
discovered by plsinclothes men and
told to come along quietly.
We got pretty good treatment IN
at the ssnitarium, but it was hard
on the nerves. They gave us padded
| cell apiece. Three times a day the
keeper would make the rounds, asking
each patient:
Who do you think will win at
Waterloo, Napoleon or Wellington"
Extra Padding for Alibis.
If We tried to explain about the
Louls-Schmeling fight the keeper
became very gentle and soothing and
ordered up an extra set of padding
for our walls. Some of us broke be.
meath the strain.
heard the guy In the cell next 10
me Il don't know whether it was Nc
Lemore or Corum) ba abbnng that Fred
| Perry was 4 cinch to win at Wimble.
don. The keeper looked very grave
! when he heard this. He shook his
head
! "Tsk tsk' he said "Incura ble?"
Your correspondent made good his
escape shortly after sundovn Satur-
day night, while the guards were
shooting craps in the western cell
block. On the train for Philadelphia.
en- route to the Democratic Conven.
ton, your fugitive agent vas spotted
by travelling salesman, who said. in
a nasty tone Of voice:
so Schmellng won't come up for
| the fourth round, eh? So Louis is
the perfect fighting machine. eh?
suppose you think the Athletics Will
| VIII the penndnt.
Reform in Predictions.
| Their the travelling salesman
laughed steadily for hour and Q
minutes. He got of at North Phlla-
delphia. When he disappeared. still
sneering, your correspondent made a
| silent vow never to pick the result
| of a fight. or even an election, again.
! This is the dawn of a new life. Maybe
the sanitartum people will give ms
time of for good behavior when they
catch me.
Smart gamblers are laying so TO I
or more that President Roosevelt will
win the nomination in the first round.
It sounds all right. but be careful.
/ Watch your seismograph. Prepare for
a tidal wave, or a volcanic eruption,
/ or a SO dividend from your neigh
| borhood pawnbroker. Look that gift
| horse square in the fangs Beware
/ the Greeks, bearing gifts or otherwise.
We live in an age Of right handed
Uhlsn fighters named Schmeling, and
anything can happen.
Farley Near Base Hit.
Among those who are golne over
board for the Prez as We call him
around the club, is General Jim Far.
ley, his right-hsnd man and most re.
| liable stamp salesman. Your corr
respondent wanted to question Gen.
! eral Jim on several matters of policy,
so he went out to the Phillies' base
ball park, and there. sure enough,
was Jim-in box seat.
Did you pay to get IN the park,
| General?' asked an interviewer.
| Tut, tut" said the statesman.
with a specious gesture.
What about Leinke and his Union
party?' said the interviewer
They won't poll 100000 votes"
said Farley firmly. Who is pitching
! for Pittsburgh"
| Red Lucas" said the interviewer.
Hes Republican"
General Farley departed from the
game in the fourth inning and there
was no one left to interview but Dele
gate Adelbert L. Kirby of Malakoff.
Tex, who wore the first lO-gallon hat
/ into town. Kirby sat back of first
base
How do you feel, Mr.. Kirby?"
asked the interviewer.
MY feet hurt" said the delegate.
Back in Malakoff We go everywhere
on horseback. Here I have to uss
my dogs. They hurt"
Pittsburgh won the ball game, rs.
1t looks like great convention.
(COpyright 1895 by the North Anneriran