Coulee City dispatch. [volume] (Coulee City, Wash.) 19??-19??, 1936-08-27
Luminous Legend of the Married
Man Who event Saturday"

woman happy. With his fine eye for
loneliness, he selected the belle of
the village and led her to the altar.
When the marriage ceremony was
over and the guests were in the
midst of merrymaking, WI, all I'M
conscious of the effect that his re-
marks would have upon those as
sembled, arose and made the an
nouncement that henceforth he
would make Saturday, the day of
his marriage, memorable by be-
slowing upon the bride each sue
ceeding Saturday during the whole
of his lifetime gift of price.
The bride clapped her hands in
joy. Others of the company re-
manned silent. WI, seeing that his
declaration was i'll advised, passed
it off with mere gesture until he
found opportunity to ask his best
man what had caused the strange
quiet.
"You're Nutty" Warns Pal
"You are crazy" said the friend
"Who ever heard of such bondage?
If you survive for thirty years, that
means 1850 Saturdays spent in
pleasing one woman. doubt very
much that you will get through the
first year. And besides, it is a bad
example. 1t may have sounded good
to the women, but no man alive
can ever again look upon you with
anything save mistrust"
''What care I so long as l hold
the love of a perfect woman" said
the groom.
"You poor NUT" quoth the best
man, who was frank in all his opin-
ions, "you won't even hold your
sanity. There is no such thing as
a perfect woman. In a few short
months your powers of selection
will begin to fail. What to buy for
her; where to buy it, and what to
say when you present it, will begin
to gnaw at your imagination.
"You will spend Thursday and
Friday thinking about the approach
ing Saturday, and on Sunday and
Monday you will writhe in agony at
having made a possible bad selec-
ton in what you brought home. That
you will get in Dutch with every
other married man in town is, of
course, lead pipe cinch. And your
wife will win the hatred of other
women. 1t doesn't take much to
see where you will bring up in this
town."
"Your remarks are ill advised
and offensive. am far from con-
WINGED that there is cause for
alarm. l shall beset myself with
serenity -
Too Many Saturdays
''Until next Saturday" inter-
rupted the best man, rising, "and
from then on, the rest of your days
you will be on the way to becoming
the battiest Chinaman among the
four hundred and sixty million in
habitants of this country. You have
gone completely kafooie and I'm
not seeing you again if it can be
avoided"
So saying, the outspoken friend
grabbed his hat and fled from the
premises, followed by other guests
who had taken similar alarm at
Wu's foolhardy declaration.
And it came to pass after an ex-
piration of few months that WI
discovered the presence of more
Saturdays than there were suitable
gifts for ''the perfect beautiful
woman" Tradesmen from far and
wide appeared in Wu's home town
bringing many costly and beautiful
creations offered for cash. The idea
being to keep Wu's bride quiet
throughout the week and hysteri-
cally happy of a Saturday. The pro-
cession of vendors that f1ocked to
Wu's front door increased steadily
until WI instructed his servants not
to answer the bell.
Old Friends Are Chilly
One by one, all the old friends OF
the bridegroom gave him the cold
eye, until hardly anybody bothered
to pass the time of day with him.
His one monotonous query, what
is there under the sun that will
make a suitable present for ones
wife?" had done it's diabolical work.
1t got so that whenever WI Chi
Chen showed up, all married men
excused themselves and faded out.
One Saturday night, very late,
after the bride had retired, The
Man Who Went Saturday came
home, quite drunk, crawled into his
bed and slept peacefully for twelve
hours.
At this juncture, my ricksha boy
began to rock with laughter. I
choked him off long enough to ask
if Lord Saturday had brought home
the usual weekend present.
mo, him forgettum, all same eve
ley man who like ketchum plenty
Sleep
Copyrlght.-wNU Service.