The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1936-12-03
WE HAVE ANOTHER
DOG NOW
BY FRANK CONDOR

" I ELL, LHe Skipper Is SOluS
IA along on over to the dog
w heaven, and suppose the less
said about that, the better.
The Skipper was Boston, the small
type, Of no great mental stature, fussy
like all elderly females, seven years in
command Of our yard, nervous as
bowl of jelly and natural halter of
grocer's boys, laundry wagon drivers,
bill collectors and pimpled youths 60
ing through college if you hand them
two dollars for a magazine.
The Skipper passed on at the dog
hospital and I'm glad she didn't cash
in here at home, for that would have
been truly awful.
She always had a bunch about the
dog hospital. The doctors are all kind
ly, genial and helpful, but nevertheless,
the Skipper used to shudder whenever
we drove her over to the hospital for
some mild ailment, like red-eye or hot
nose. She just didn't like the place and
there was reason for her fear.
Once upon time. she had four pups
in that hospital, and 1t took Cesari-
an to pull her through.
This time, she came down suddenly
with sickness, that IL you get it and
you're dog, your goose is cooked.
didn't know. I thought 1t was just an
other stomach-ache from eating snails.
Well, the dog hospital telephone lady
rang me up on the fourth day and said:
1--WE got some bad news for you"
That's all she needed to say. and for
the next five daya, our place was like
a morgue. We all swore fervently we'd
never own another dog, not in this
world. Too narrowing.
About the fifth dogless day, the house
began to take on a slightly haunted
feeling. Not enough noise. No scratch
ing sounds. There was an old swing
In the yard where the Skipper was
wont to snooze away the afternoons
and we hastily gave that to the Saliva
ton Army truck, but it didn't do any
good.
Maybe" I opened up, maybe we
ought to get us a new dog. After all,
we are normally dog family and this
preternatural silence around here is
giving me the wlllies."
Everyone Immediately agreed.
"But no more Bostons. They are en-
tirely too fragile for this world. We've
had miserable luck with small animals,
so suppose we purchase large, quiet,
meditative dog with a philosophic out
look on life. BostOns are always fret
ting themselves into a fever"
There ensued brief period of dog
hunting and kennel looking, and pres
emily this new dog appeared upon our
horizon, and very much larger than a
mans hand. a bald-headed German
owned the kennel. and when he opened
a certain wire door, out of the dim
ness floundered the strange-appearing
animal that has since become part of
our household. The German said he
was exactly three months old. no.
ticed that he was having trouble with
his legs and steering gear, as he stag
gered about the room, hitting objects.
"Acts kind of drunk" I observed.
whats the matter with him.?
"He's just young" the German ex-
planned.
''What breed Of dog would that be?''
"He's Great Dane"
'Why are all his legs brOken?"
'They amt broken. They just look
so. When he gets older, they straight.
en- out"
was further Informed that the
singular beast weighed 40 pounds and
would tip the beam at 100 when he
reached his full flower.
eff it is our intention to purchase u
large dog" I Informed the unlocking
family, ''then here is certainly a large
dog, or what will be one soon. In addi-
ton to that, we have never owned a
purple dog, nor have 1 ever previously
seen purple pup, or heard of one
What do you all say?"
We signed the contract then and
there and the German dog merchant