Evening star., 1936-03-09
Truth Is Far
Better Than
PretenSiOn
Best Always to Be
Frank With
Child.
BY ANGELO PATRI.

THERE are bitter truths in life. and
u they affect children. Nothing
can be done about these painful facts
except to admit their existence, face
them, overcome them, and go forward
as happily as possible. Children are
people, and they share the common
lot of pain Telling them the truth
about the troubles that reach them
is the surest, quickest way of healing
the wounds they make.
why should innocent children
suffer for the sins of their fathers?
Why should they know that their
father went wrong? Why not hide
it from them?"
If one could hide such facts one
would be justified in doing so. When
has it been done successfully? The
newspapers, the neighbors, the rela-
tives and friends learn all our secrets
and they are secrets no more. AS
long as one person who knows the
truth is alive to tell it, there is little
possibility of hiding it from the
children.
The adopted child often suffers
from the wish of his new parents TO
keep his condition from him ana
from the world 1t cannot be done.
The time comes when the truth
davns on the child, or some busy
body throws it in his face. Ihe
shock is terrible. Had the child been
rrepared for it. had he been armed
against such attack by the truth ne
could have faced it down and gone
his wav with scant hurt to his spirit
Truth is healing 1t is always best.
1t is very hard to have to tell chill
dren things that hurt them, tnat
seem likely to rob them of their most
nrecious heritage. But if their heritage
is one of bitterness one has no cholce
but to risk the telling. There IS
ALWAYS the assurance that once the
worst has been told, once the chilo
has faced it and drained its FIRST olt-
terness.. that healing strength comes
tn the rescue. Fear is killed. Knowl-
edge brings power with it every time
and there is always a way to 1ofgeC'
toward a future that holds some
good.
It is better to have the story told
the child by some one who loves MN.
The family doctor. or the clergyman
are willing to help, willing to under
take the duty if there is nobody else;
but there should be some one else.
That one who has undertaken to care
for the child. who has accepted the
place of parent toward him, ought 10
have enough love, and the courage
of love, to tell it himself.
When a baby is adopted something
that speaks of his former parents
should be taken along with him. A
photograph, a baby garment-eVen a
certificate will do. This should be
placed where the child can see it
every day of his life. BY and by
he will be conscious of it and ask
about it. Because he has been With
the idea all his life the truth will
not be so hard to accept as it would
were. he quite unprepared Love and
truth work miracles.
The hardest part of the hard prob
lem is Cne lear ana diIA4eIy VI tA4e
parent who must bear the burden
of the secret. He must prepare him
self for the task by ridding himself
of all dread, fear or shame. He must
feel that this child is safe with him,
must feel as one with him. Then he
can tell the story without communi-
eating panic, or any form of fear, to
truth and he cannot remain hurt, or
be hurt because of a dread secret.
Copyright, 1850