The Washington times., 1936-06-25
NOW
DR.. .TOUnSend
Convention
POLITE SOUTH
BY HELEN ESsARY


PHILADELPHIA, Pa, June 25.
Just before Senator Joseph T.
Robinson began his speech last
night, DR.. "Old Age Pension"
Townsend appeared in the press
section of the Convention Hall.
His ideas political seemed at
the moment both simple and of a
fair modeSty. He said he had just
stopped off between trains to see
the side show.
No, he did not want to be Presi-
dent. Never that.
He preferred to be President
maker or a PreSident-breaker. His
immediate purpose in life was to
defeat Roosevelt. Four years later,
he would use his strength to de-
feat Landon.
The convention Speec h e S,
though determinedly magnificent,
have seldom thrilled the crowd.
If cheer leaders had not signaled
for applause, most of the fine
phrases would have passed un-
noticed.
What the thousands in the gal
lerieS and on the floor really
want is a chance to laugh. Not
statesman yet has had the wit to
wiSe-crack.
The only people who ever have
any real fun at a convention are
those who get tight and blow
horns (tin horns or horns of self
approbation
Southern ladies at their best:
Said Mrs. Robinson to Mrs.
Barkley:
goes speech wasn't half as
fine as Aliens"
Replied Mrs. Barkley:
"Why, my dear, Alben never
could talk as well as JOe."
If you haven't been invited
to the party-come anyhow. And
bring your friends. This is the
slogan of convention entertain
ing. Philadelphia is a gate crash
er'S paradise. With a little she
nanigan you can get tickets any
where-even to the press section.
This intellectual enclosure is mis-
takenly regarded at a convention
as being superior to the Elysian
Fields. It produces the mamma of
publicity.
Mrs. Elizabeth M. Mcnamara,
Democratic national committee
woman from Massachusetts and
the first woman parliamentarian
at a national convention, is round
and dimpled and looks like she
could make good jelly and hot
rolls. For Is years she has been
an instructor in parliamentary |
law in the Massachusetts, Depart
ment of Education'S university
extension division and has &C
quired meanwhile an air of haV-
ing been born to sit at a speak
erS' table.
Sir Percival Phillips, who dashed |
across the ocean from England |
and the London Morning Tele- |
graph to look-on at Cleveland and
Philadelphia, thinks orators have
their place at political gatherings,
but that any convention would be
improved by a good murder myS-
terry. Perhaps, he added, hold
up by gangsters and kidnapping
would make the scene more typl-
cally American.
T,IYo Yoi0nc UhN
had been listening in on these OBJ
servations, said quickly that Eng
land should begin to realize that
kidnapers and gangsterS are now
pasSe in this country.
Among the diplomatic gentle
men on view on the stage last
night were the American ambaSSa-
dor to England, Mr.. Robert Worth
Bingham; Mr.. Dwight M. Davis,
ambaSSador-at-large (not ambaSSa-
dor on the -looSe), and United
States Minister to Hungary Mont
gomery.
Mrs. Frank Griswold, who is en-
tertaining Assistant Secretary and
Mrs. Sumner WelleS, brings box
of mints encruSted with donkey
medallions to her stage box each
session. Mrs. Millard TydingS
says, however, that eating donkeys
makes her feel like a cannibal.
She would lots rather chew on
elephants.
They're probably serving donkeyS
SteWed and fricaSSeed at the Union
League Club most any day this
week. Several remote and dis
dainful old Republican gentlemen
are always seated near the clubs
impressive staircase. In this dra-
matte Roman setting, they seem
to defiantly await betrayal by
some New Deal BrutuS.
It's likely another of those signs
of this Administrations dictator
ship, but the weather man has
produced an air-cooled city-for
the Democrats.
Indeed it has been so cold and
rainy that delegates and camp
followers are Shivering in the sum-
mer prints and linen suits they
brought along as suitable June
convention uniform.
Secretary of State Cordell Hull
while marching with the flag Wav-
ing standard bearing, band play
ing Tennessee delegation last
night looked as much at ease as
would the last of the Mohicans on
- SaaASov,ry m wound