Evening star., 1936-03-31
EAR MISS DIX: I want ,

GAkb A400 O4As NdLlt YOUR
opinion In 0 matter OF con.
troversy between my husband
- and myself. He Is a good pro-
wider, Is very considerate to me and
our children, but he insists that
after he has done this there are
certain privileges that he should have.
The main thing that We disagree
on is this: He is member of a
fraternal organization and club. I
cannot belong to the fraternal organiz-
alton. can join the club, but it
does not appeal to me. My con-
tention Is that he should give them
up and go to places and with people
of my selection. that his first duty
is to please me. He is perfectly willing
to go anywhere that suggest, but
will not forego attendance at his
lodge or club II I happen to want to
60 to some place on those particular
nights.
He contends that he gets pleasure
out Of mingling with the members
of these organizations and that he
should have this privilege without
any objection on my part. He does
not object to anything I do, or any
place go, or to any of my friends.
Do you think he should insist on
what he considers his right TO 20
places where ! cannot go, or do not
care to go? PERPLEXED.
Answer-Will you read over this
letter you have written me and try
to get the picture it represents of a
wife who is absolutely and entirely
self-centered and selfish, and who
has no consideration whatever for
the good man to whom she is married?
! think you cannot realize what an
egotist you have let yourself become,
and what a raw deal you are giving
your husband.
you say you consider your hus-
bands first duty is to please you,
but apparently you do not think it
Is any part of your duty to please
him. How about that? Marriage is
devised entirely for the benefit of the
wife, as you seem to think it is. It
Is just as much up to you to make
your husband happy as it is for him
to make you happy. All of the sacri-
flclng Of tastes and desires should
not be done by one party. It Is
mutual obligation.
You say that you feel your husband
should give up his clubs and his
friends and go to the places and with
people of your selection. A lot of
other wives think the same way and
only too often they carry their point
by nagging their poor husbands about
going to their lodges until they give
up for the sake Of peace. The pleas
ure they get out Of going isn't worth
the row they cost. Also, many wives
dispose of their husbands old friends
in short order by giving them such a
frosty welcome and feeding them on
such cold shoulder that they never
make second visit to the house
after Tom or John gets married.
1t Is true that many wives, like you,
do make their husbands go where the
wives want to go instead Of where
the husbands want to 60 and that it
is the wife's family and friends who
fill the average home, not the hus-
bands. But because the crime is so
often committed doesn't excuse any
woman for inflicting this petty tyr
amy on her husband.
NOR because the husband submits
to it is it any sign that he likes
it. Most men get so worn out with the
battle for their daily bread that by
night they have no more fight left
in them and are for peace at any price
and let their wives get away with
anything short Of murder. But Friend
Wife wouldn't be so complacent about
it if she knew what murderous
thoughts about his Dictator were going
on in the meek-appearing husbands
mind.
According to your own account, your
husband does not object to your anus
ing yourself in any way you desire.
Why can't you be big enough and
just enough to grant him the same
privilege? You admit that you don't
like to do any of the things that he
likes to do and that you are not in
terested in any of the people in whom
he is interested. That is perfectly
natural. We all have different tastes
and men and women's tastes are rare
ly the same in places or people. So
why try to force on your husband men
and women who may appeal to you
but bore him? And why deprive him
of the society of those whose COM
pany he enjoys?
Moreover, your husband is right in
insisting that it refreshes him to