The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1936-05-15

sticks in either pill or a thermome-
ter and neither one helps.
Testing Drunken Drivers.
TOR testing drunken drivers the
L Cleveland police have device
named the opthalmic televinocular
stereoscope. But why not just ask the
suspect to pronounce it and abide by
the results? ..-
Old times back home, we had our
own system. We didn't follow the
New York scheme Of inviting the al
legged inebriate to say "Sissie Fitzger-
add" because he'd probably take refuge
In his constitutional rights as a south
ern gentleman and refuse to handy a
lady's name In any such place as the
calaboose.
Under our plan, If a citizen was ly-
ing in the street and his fingers didn't
move, he was intoxicated. But II even
his little finger moved, he merely was
resting.
But we didn't have alcoholic auto
mobiles to poster us. The surplus pop
ulation was reduced with firearms or
cutlery, thus giving everybody a
chance.
Mankind's Real Humanity.
XXIHAT with this and that, Just
w when fellow is almost ready to
decide that the human race should be
charged off as practically total loss,
something happens.
This time 1t happened in little
mine In Nova Scotia where the calm
heroism Of two men, penned with the
body Of their dead comrade at the
bottom Of caved-in shaft, was
matched by the magnificent gallantry,
the incredible endurance Of volunteer
rescuers, who, by day and night, un-
ceasingly labored on In momentary
peril of death for themselves to save
the lives of that trapped pair-and
did save them.
And week or so before that It
happened when young girl dragged
the only other survivors Of an airplane
crash out Of the flaming wreckage and
minlstered to them and forgot her own
hurts while she waded long miles down
a snow-drlfted mountain to give the
alarm, and, having given 1t, staggered
back again to do what else she might.
Bankers Versus Politics.
DOLITICS certainly makes estranged
bedfellows.
But Presidential campaign or two
behind us and across the scene with
thunderous tread stalked the sacred
white cows Of big money. their udders
dripping wisdom, their gentlest below
hardened to with eager ears by candi-
dates and delegates alike. Statecraft
mingled with high finance was what
they offered in a rich and creamy
measure to one and all-the pontlfical
Mitchell, the omnipotent Dawes. the in
fallible insult, the wondrous Wiggln
subsequently known as the uncovered
Wiggln). And 10, the voice of Owen
d. Young was heard In the land.
But now, alas, where are the Baruchs
of yesteryear? t'a
Why, if this summer the average dis
tinguished or, as the case may be, ex-
tinguished international banker tries to
get into either national convention
they'll charge him admission.
Meanderinu Horsemen.
A DARING soul, residing in back
4 n corner Of Brazil, decided to ride
horseback to New York. After jogging
along some weeks In what might be de-
scribed as a series of general direc-
lions, he reached Rio Janeiro, only to
discover he'd already Travelled 1900
miles out of his way.
The name is given as Senior Severino
Moura Fonseca, but the gentleman GER
tainly behaved as though he were a
congressional investigating committee.
Why, he even outwandered Senator
Black Of Alabama, and up until the
other day, when the administration
threw a net over him, the senator held
the worlds championship for loose
wandering.
It's startling, isn't 1t, how suddenly
the great silence descends upon a
statesman who gets out of line with