Milford chronicle., 1936-02-21

Because, dear cans, that's old
stuff. It dates back to the MeIn-
tyre and Heath era Of political
vaudeville. The great common peO-
pie may be eOmmOn-anyhOw the
orators keep on
telling them they
are - but they
aren't exactly stu
pid. Merely be-
cause a man has
to live in the deep
woods doesn't
mean he has to
think like a wood
pecker. contend
it's generally the
other way around.
irwin S. Cobb With the exception
Of ~AIr. Dooley,"
practically all the outstanding sa-
tlric observers of our national fol-
lies sprang from the soil and not
from the sidewalk. If there are
any true yOkels left, their prlnci-
pal center is New York city. And
IL ever there was a day when Amer
leans in mass believed a man could
best qualify for the Presidency by
behaving like a peasant, that day
has passed.
Odorless Cabbage.
GONE experimental genius at Cor
~ nell university hSs bred a nom
OdOrous eabbage-a Giing absolute
.ly guaranteed to remain unsmeila-
BILE while being cooked. / presume
he crossed 1t with the tuberose.
Now, never protested when they
produced a spring onion with no
aftermath to 1t, no lingering remi-
niseence. eFair enough" / said,
"after all. why not let bygones be
bygoRes2p
And ] shall welcome with glad
outcries the evolution Of the anti
squirt grapefruit, and the self-open-
ing eoconut, and, greatest boon OF
all, the hiccoughless radlsh.
But 70 take away from the sue
eulent fried cabbage its only means
Of self-defense seems a cruel thing.
Besides, how in future would a
stranger be able after dark to iden-
tify an old-fashloned, two-dolIar-a-
day, American plan hotel2 Once
he got inside and saw the Gideon
Bibles and met the resident cock
reaches, he'd know, Of course, where
he was, but how about approaching
in the nighttime with no perfume
to guide him?
The Courage Of Texans.
ITNHERES something about Tex
4 ans-something different.
The men who tramped the Ore
gon trail were hOmesteadefs. They
took their wives with them, and
plows and seed-corn, the forty-nin-
ers who went to California had
shovels on their shoulders and-lf
you can believe the Susannah song
l-banjos on their knees. But II
it came to pinch they threw away
the banj0s first. Because they were
looking for gold. But in the begin
ming those who came to Texas car
rled rifles and kept their eyes
peeled. They were looking for trou-
bic. And, how the found 1t.
For nobody dreamed then OF the
Incredibly rich and fertile empire
this would be. The only prospect
was for q fight against the wilder
ness.
The Happy Warrior Grammar.
TN THE Sabbath calm following
4 the explosion Of AL Smithlsms
over the palpitant ether, you could
almost hear the purists murmur-
ing: BE sure thy snytax will find
thee OUT; but the purlst vote isn't
big enough to count. For culture,
a collegiate accent may have it all
over the Brooklyn brogue, but there
are more people crossing Brooklyn
bridge every day than 90 through
Yale Or Harvard In so years.
Governor Smith may not pro-
nounce radio the correct way-as
some critics already have already
pointed out but he certainly
knows what to do with It when he
faces q microphone. All grammar
aslde-and why not an grammar
aside Il leaving It aside keeps sim
pie speech2-when he gets through
talking there are no missing word
contests.