The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1936-07-10

mADS"Ss a-zA'0azzaA'nA' pope tIooPSl
Irwin s. Cobb FIR o m the interior
South stood staring
at the endless watery expanse.
"Boy!" he exclaimed to a COM
panion, "dis sho' is one big ocean!"
"Mos' doubtless" stated the sec
ond soldier, "but, son, whut you's
lookin' at now is only jes de top
layer"
The Union Party
\ T CLEVELAND there was har-
"A mony and quiet interment for
the old Guard. At Philadelphia
the proceedings moved along on
creased rollers. But for real ex-
citement, wait until that new Union
party holds its convention.
Then will be the signal to remove
the women and children to a place
of safety. Just consider who'll be
there:
The infationists who think that,
as long as we have government en-
craving plants and printing presses,
money should be plentiful. The
group committed to the idea that,
if the farmer won't do something
for himself, something should be
done for the farmer. Doctor Town
send, with his project to provide old
age pensions for everybody over
sixty except Congressman McGoar-
ty. Father Coughlin, calling for so
cial justice and better radio hook
ups. Huey Longs successor, who'd
share the wealth and make every
man a king.
AL Smiths Strategy
4 S AN old-time headliner of po-
"A litical vaudeville, Al. Smith
should have known better than to
pull that ancient Understanding
at Philadelphia letter carriers on a
Sunday afternoon.
And besides, think of the desper-
ate chance he and his supporting
quartet of sharpshooters took:
come between mother panther
and her cubs; come between a
Frenchman and his fracas; come
between a radio announcer and his
elocution, but never, right on the
eve of their national convention, try
to come between a flock of office
holding Democrats and the pros
pect of four more uninterrupted
years of the same.
Trouble of Travellers
OUTSIDE the larger cities, when
~ hotel manager wishes to show
a special guest special atten-
ton, he assigns him to the bed
chamber of state which usually is
on the second floor, invariably is
at the front of the house and rearly
always on the corner where cleo
trio signs twinkle merrily till
daylight in the poor sleepless
wretch's eyes.
And along toward 2 a. m. party
named Dewey, standing in the
street below, will start telling
party named Pink, about sumpin
mighty comical that's come up
Sad'day night whereupon Pink will
be moved to recall a few social
"reminiscences of his own.
Convention InvOcatiOnS
a THOUGH a southerner-how-
n ever, not working at the trade
as steadily as Some-I have to
smoker when Democratic senator
walks out on his own convention
because a colored preacher asks
the divine blessing on it's delibera-
tions. Which reminds me:
The first time that great Texan,
Jim Hogg, ran for the governorship
his party split. The boilers joined
with the Republican outfit-most-
ly black-to put up fusion ticket.
At this pinto convention, the Rev.
Sin Killer" Griffin, a famous black
evangelist, delivered the invoca-
ton. In concluding, he threw an
unexpected bombshell into the pie
bald ranks by earnestly urging the
Lord to Put Hogg in the governors
chair.
Terrific uproar ensued. Finally a
dusky stalwart got the floor.
81 moves" he beloved, "dat dis
yere traitorsome and on-Republik-
in prayer be expunged from de
record"
Majestically, Sin Killer" erected
himself.
II RISES" he stated, "to a pint
of order. It's too late to expunge
frum de record prayer which al
ready done got to heaven more'n