The Waterbury Democrat., 1936-06-09
Whimsical Ditty OF
 Contention Floor
sCCntinued from Page D


 | men and women who paid over c dollar Tor tickets to e group of prom inent Cleveland psychiatrists, The doctors, 1t seems, want to study their cases.
 The Landon band arrived early and 1t was noticed that one of its mem- bers carried no instrument. Inves- tigation revealed that he was a democrat and that his horn had been taken away as a form of pun ishment. Musically incluined per- sons in the house immediately tried to bribe the other boys in the band to swear they were democrats.
 Organlst Hidden
 The organist who works on the giant collection of pipes and tubes, which IS as much Q part of @ poli- tical convention as cracked ice and ginger ale, must have been voting the straight republican ticket since the Civil war. He or she was given free hand on the key board, which resembles Joe E. Browns mouth in the middle of smile. We say he or she because no one knows ex- actly whether the keyboard clouter is a man or woman, due to the fact that the organ is 8 trick number with the operator in the basement. It would have been much smarter to put the organ in the basement and the organist upstairs.
 Quarter of Q Chair
 There was a bit of confusion when the first quarter-vote delegate ar- rived. He insisted on occupying full chair and put up quite an argument when 1t was explained that he was entitled to only a fourth of a chair. The confusion was heightened when his three fellow quarter-vote brothers tried to sit down beside him. They kept falling off. It was believed the problem would be solved by engaging a team of four contortionists, who luckily are playing a local theater, to sit in for them as proxies.
 Gentleman of Press
 Immediately upon arrival the gen- tlemen of the press (and there must be 500 or more of them) shucked their coats, united their cravats and stuck their feet up on the nearest chairs. This caused dignified re- publican in white waist coat to remark that the place was beginning to look like Q democratic conven- ton.
 He was wrong there. Things aren't really democratic until the boys slip their shoes of and start bandying Thomas Jefferson's name about as freely as though he were a brother Elk.
 The speakers, platform came in for great deal of praise. At first glance 1t resembles the offspring of the union between an indoor hun- dred-yard dash track and a bile Hard table. At the extreme outer end stands the speakers microphone. It was placed there, officials said, so that when the boys start putting the blast on the democrats they will be able to get running start.
 Prayer All They Had
 The convention will be opened by a prayer, and a Staunch democrat just remarked that Q prayer was about all the g.o.p. had. The repub- licans don't agree with him, how ever. The supporters of Governor Landon are 50 sure that their man will be the next president that they have already placed an order for new wall paper for the east room of the White House.
 Half an hour before Chairman Henry P. Fletcher was scheduled to call the convention to order so 1t might settle down to some good old fashioned disorder, the house was comfortably filled. When the crowd first started to come in the ushers carefully studied all badges so as to distinguish between delegates and spectators. They soon learned this was unnecessary, however, as the delegates could be spotted by the fact that their eyes were closed.
 Caucussed All Night
 Several of the state delegates ap- peared very worn, indicating that they caucused (pronounced "cau- coused") most of the night. The New York delegation was in bitter caucus all night but 1t was reported today that their big issue finally should be settled and from now on mineral water and not ginger ale will be the official mixed at cau- cuSes.
 Twenty minutes before the start of the convention a concessionaire sold ear plugs of the sort used by high divers. He would not guarantee they would keep out all noise but said that a two-ear set would re- duce the sound until the hall would be only as noisy as the Tower of Abel on New Years eve,