Milford chronicle., 1936-10-16


the army the second
e line. I'm thinking
that the chief peril
and the chief securi-
ty from that peril
is in the air now.
And Of all the
great powers, we
are the most woe
fully behind in the
matter Of airplane
protection. II would
take US two years to - -
make oU air force s,v,n 9 Cohh
as strong as it was
four years ago. II would take in
finitely longer than that to make
it as strong as the present footing
Of any country which conceivably
might attack us.
Well, we could always lock the
stable after the horse was gone-if
the stable hadn't been blown hat.
Rules for Long Life.
"A JAPANESE doctor has landed
"A with the word that. by follow.
ing a few simple rules, fellow
lives to be 240 Years old. He didn't
say, but l figure this applies only
to those Of US who never 60 motor
ing.
The principal rules are to sleep
on hard mattress with a metal
pillow and learn to wriggIe like a
goldfish. Whether. in time. the be-
ginner sprouts gills and fantail is
not stated. but it sounds plausible.
I've already spoken to tinsmith
about pillow and, on awakening
this morning, made a few expert
mental wriggles. My intentions
might fool some people. but don't
believe they'd fool a goldfish. unless
he'd been drinking or something.
I'm afraid my finning was faulty.
Besides. I,didnit feel aHy too- digal- z
fed-greeting the dewy dawn by
behaving goldfshiously.
War Names Confusing.
MOT content with coming eighty
l or ninety separate different
and confusing names for the oppos-
ing forces in Spain. the correspond.
ents have gone and thunk up .
plum bran new one-eStremlsts.
though, the point is well
taken. The dispatches would seem
to indicate that quite . num-
ber. of persons over there have late.
ly shown a tendency to verge TO-
ward the extreme.
And picking out the various par.
ties mixed up in the French politi.
cal mess-that's another tough Job
Only today ran into this one-left.
centrist. II sort o. suggests Ty Cobb
IN his palmy days. covering the
1utield. But-that couldn't be be.
cause the French don't 60 in for
baseball. They prefer duellng as be.
ng just as exciting.
must say it's discouraEing just
when, by following the news from
Paris. I'm beginning to get the Reds
from the Pale Plnks.
ind the Mauves from the Hello
ropes. and the Holy Rollers from
he Merry Widows. to laye this add
ID complication bust light in my
ace. Looks as though Ill have 10
tart it all over again.
How 70 Reduce.
TVER since the da" when I was
L known among friends as Thy
old Deficiency Irvy. the human de-
our. I've fought the losinA agnt
gainst overweight.
] tried dieting and became the
est friend the Americal spinach in
ustry ever knew. yet had only to
lrn my head to brag ana re-
aimed. practically instantaneously,
hat I'd lost, exercised until
ad the jitters. but when I'd taken
4 half pound. il bounced right
ack while the doctors were reviv-
lg me.
But nov I've found the absolute.
certain cure for reduction. IT'S
orking in a moving picture with
tile Jane Withers. When she sets
Ie pace you can track yourself
ack home by your cwn perspira-
On. Another engagement with
lnie and / could be rented out
! my own living skeleton.
Has Memories Of Valencia.
T'S hard to concentrate on PEN
nant fights in the big leagues
hen we read Of wsr-racked Spain,
th 100000 already dead.
l hope the lovely old city Of Va,
neia has escaped the common ru-
Seven years ago ] was travel
& around and about over three
ntinents. and at every stop had
tened morning. noon and night,
the song Valencia"
Il was indeed a relief. So we {
Eyed a week. The sherry-and- I
& before luncheon was slso quite /
od-all but the egGl 1
IRWIN E. COBB