The Waterbury Democrat., 1936-02-14
BY WAY of NO HARM
 -by-
 James William FitzP Patrick tTAs eommsnsa eplnlsns nna esnDu appsas eels! sae hsse og writer alone Ehay ueh neosns sneee N @ eaIseFs Of TzR DEMOCRAT tAsR @ ee esRSSus@ Invariably. . Eensellsn Os shek viswpsnsas

lsP aFe thsy e es esasslueA Dn e shele VlswpslnNs
 Do explalned satisfactorily hefose next November tg tAe Ngpublloan party ls Co win the sulgEago ee sts pettlcuat bglgadeA Tn the mean time and hecause oe tlm sex prejudice exhibited even hy sNe~ publican journals, it is not possible Co quote Mrs. DlmmunB verbatim. True, the political ensllAgo she foFked out for her heMrug8 con- tmined no now ingredients, But there was buried in lt . bomb of such explosive possibilities that whoever has charge ok tho NepNo- llean national sll0 had better get the thing out Os the forage before it goes 0l4 and blows the party all over the map. The wueUe Oe % is no one suspects lts existence.
 Slavery
 m keeping with the splEit oe ths day and the history oe The oeeak EHanelpatuE, Mrs. DtMmons talked about slavery. Just Aeee- ated srum gyves. shackloA bale anauohaanB, letters, and mMnacles, the erstwhlle sers oe . Missouri kaEm kitchen won, according t0 the HorhldST Tribune, senshuslAzaln applause" when she cut luosa ae the Democratic adminlstxation. Mrs. Simmons insisted that Hon. est Abe put an end to only enc form of UeTvttQdo when ho Hlgno0 the Emancipation Proclamation. The Missouri mlssus says wo arc ln . present condition of bundase from which we can only Do Mher- Ated by voting the Republican ticket next November, Where upon tho listening Aelota, elaveS and slavoyB at the Golden Jubilee dinner doubtless ratsled their lsg irons, jlngled their hAnduUggs and wept All over their fllets-mlgnons. what time the walters and the bussb0yB of the National Nepuh- lican Club llne0 up against the back wall thinking oe their aeh~ ing hunionn, popping cUrns. and screaming feet whispered amongst themselves, "A tee che knows about slavery. She engAs se have OUR aesss"
 Freedom ln Sight
 Down near tho end os her speech Mrs. Simmons planted the bomb mentioned above. Deatow~ Ing . pat os approval eu GlnpolnS head for saving the union she vent on to say that she had faith s'seme man e wemaM VII he called Co save ear natlun la Che eeur years thas 10 ahead" or W0MANlll Can this mean that tho Republican nomination ring which is now Uttered with the lids of Knox, Boeah, Landon, Hoover, Vandenbcrg, Wadsworth ct al, ls to Do further cluttered up with feminine chapeauxp, Was Mrs, Simmons Bhying her own aunbOn- net among the iron dofOiee Of tho East and the slouch hAts of the Westp ls her crack about some woman being called Co save the nation to be construed O mean that . certain ~eaExmet's wife" from Marshall, Mo, win not have to be called twice t0 play the part oe EmAncl- petress, lv9e Modelp or thae the Simmons ears will run the risk og caulliiower stralnlng Co hear the first shout from Q slave ridden nation. Come Mrs. 6. and free us from eur chalns."
 Delegates Beware
 Delegates to the Republican national convention have Q lot Of assorted headaches in cold storage waiting to iand Q lodging place along about June. What with the sllberaw WeeteEmeEa, s'conscrvn&lve" Eastegnera, and Favorito Sons already snArling at each others threats, it is going |: be on almost impossible task to find c candidate who will please the bosses and at the same time appeal to tho rank and tile. How much more insuperable will it be Co pick Q winner ie liberated sarmers' wives. freed society ma irons, manumitted debutantes, unclaimed pot-Wrcsslers, and EA- yurite Daughters arc allowed to enter the racel lt Mrs. olzn- mons spoke by the book Wednes- day night and awoman is to lead us out of the land of bondage, why bother holding . convention to select . leader. The only sensible thing Co do is to hold
 elimination contests in All the
 motion picture cathedrals of the country, let all the sirens og the silver Screen be balloted on, and
 make the winner the Republican nominee for the presidency. She will do as well as any other can- didate. Let it be clearly under stood, however. that we are to be led out Of slavery not Into it. We must have liberty even with Mae West as the slave mistress. 
 Boy, Page George!
 Personally l am of the opinion that if Mrs. George 3. Simmons is c farmers wife she is not . dirt-farmers bride nor Q grass rooter's spouse. HI wager she is
 the agricultural slave type who
 wears an orchid corsAge to milk the cows, high heels to rake the hay, and c dinner gown to bed down the mules. Perhaps when she writes articles for the maea- zines, as all farmerg wives are
 known to do. after Q long day among the chicken coops, she sits on a khree-leRRe6 milking stool