Evening star., 1936-09-24

~ EAR DOROTHY DN-My
husband Is one Of the best
men in the world. We have
- two fine children and no
home could have been more peaceful
and happy than ours has been until
two years ago, when my mother came
to live with us. We would be glad
to take care Of her and do every
thing We can for her If she would
only be easy to live with, but she has
upset everything. She finds fault with
everything we have and do. She
badgers the children and me about
the way I am rearing them. I can't
have my own home the way want
1t. She nags us until we have nearly
gone crazy. She has made my hus-
band cranky because she has got on
his nerves SO, and now instead OF
staying At home of evenings as he
used to dc he goes downtown as soon
as dinner Is over just to get away
from mother. My husbands mother
is . widow, too, and Older than mine,
but she works at housekeeping jobs,
~ SAb0t Sllc Aoh y WILL ally Va AicI
married children. My mother Is only
So and In perfect health. What do
you suggest as q solution Of my prob
lem? Is it my duty to sacrifice my
family and my home to my mother?
WORRIED.
Answer-No woman has a right to
let her mother wreck her home Your
first duty is to your husband and
children. That far transcends any
obligation you have to your mother.
II she is driving your husband out of
the house he supports and making
him miserable, II she Is warping the
children's dispositions by her con-
tinual picking on them, and if she
is generally turning your home into
q place Of torment instead of the
haven Of peace it used to be, the
proper thing for you to do is to read
the riot act to her and tell her tnat
she either has to behave herself and
be pleasant or get out.
A ND, believe me, that will sweeten
her disposition. She doesn't want
to give up her soft living and If she
has to control her temper and her
tongue she will do it. She acts as she
does because she thinks she can have
her cake and eat it, too; that she can
work OF all her spleen on you and
yet be taken care of. Just call her
blud and see how it will work.
One Of the most pathetic things in
the world is the needless suffering so
many of us 60 through because we lack
the courage to stand up for our own
rights and force others to respect
them. There Is probably not one Of
US who doesn't support some deadbeat
who is Just as able to work as We are
and who would work If forced to labor
or starve, but we encourage him or her
in loafing by always responding to
touch from poor Uncle George or poor
Cousin Sally.
There isn't a family who isn't mar
tyrized by some selfish, high-tempered
man or woman whose cantankerous-
ness we put up with, whose insults
We endure because we think they can't
help it, they have such bad DISPOSE
tions. But they would help it and be
pleasant and amiable to live with if
they knew they would have to be
agreeable or else be kicked out Of
the house.
4 + 4 4
IN TOO many families there are old
people who make their age an alibi
for just such conduct as your moth
ers. They are fault finding. inter-
fering, nagging, self-centered just be-
cause they think their sons and daugh-
ters will stand for it. They make a
graft of filial duty, and they are per-
fectly willing to wreck their children's