Evening star., 1936-05-26
Coming Holiday Presents Opportunity for "Dreed Up Breakfast
Dorothy Dix Says
Too Much Mother Love Can Be a Real
Curse to Children Who Crave Privacy

~ EAR MISS DIX am a girl of
81, not wild, don't smoke or
drink, don't go with a fast
- crowd, just with the nice
young people I have known all my
life. I have a mother whom love.
She is good and sweet. But she
is destroying all Of my happiness in
life and my chance Of ever getting
married by denying me all privacy in
my life and all freedom of action.
When get a letter she insists upon
reading it. When any one phones me
she listens in and wants to know
every little detail. After I 60 out with
a boy she puts me through a cate
chism when come home about where
we went, whom we saw. what he did,
and what he said and what said.
Wherever go she insists on going
and, as the other people don't want
her, am being dropped.
When a boy calls, she sits in the
room and entertains him and he
doesn't come back again. She always
waits up for me if I go out, and if
am a few minutes late she wakes
up my father and brother and they
are furious with me.
Mother has no life of her own. 1t
Is my life she leads. She won't go
anywhere without me. She won't go
to club or a show. She won't read
or play cards. She won't even go
to see her old friends All she talks
about is me and what do.
Honestly, Miss Dix, I don't do a
thing that I would object to my
mother knowing, only it gets on my
nerves never to have any freedom.
never to have any privacy, always
having her spying on me. I am be-
ginning to see why girls do anything
Just to get away from their mothers.
A PROSECUTED GIRL.
Answer-You are not the only girl,
my dear. who is the prisoner of love
and whose mother is a jailer who
keeps her under lock and key. get
hundreds of letters from other girls
who are the victims of poSsessive
mothers, and who are realizing that
it is better to have no mother love
at all than to have too much of it.
THE pathetic feature of the situa-
ton is that these mothers who
are wrecking their daughters lives
have no idea of the crime they are
committing. Rather. they account it
unto themselves for righteousness that
they are so devoted to Sally or Min
ME that they have no other thought
or interest but her, and that they
never leave her out of sight for a
minute if they can help it. They
pat themselves on the back and think
how much better mothers they are
than are the other women who let
their daughters go out with young
men unattended, and let themselves in
with a latchkey at night when they
come home from parties. and who
never require their daughters to show
their letters, or give detailed &C
count of everything they do.
Mostly, however, it is selhshness
and ignorance that makes a mother
festoon herself like an old woman of
the sea upon her daughters back.
Mother is thinking Of her own happi-
ness and pleasure and not of the
daughters. Ever since the girl was
born she has been so infatuated with
her that she has thought of nothing
else, had no other interest. She gave
| up going out because watching the
baby sleep was the most exciting
amusement she could find She gave
up all of her old friends because she
| couldn't bear to be parted from the
child long enough to pay a visit or go
to a club. Her friends gave her up
because she talked about nothing but
what Mamie said and did. In a word,
she ceased to live her own life. She
lived only Mamie's. And so it isn't
just vulgar curiousity that makes her
pry into all of Mamie's affairs. 1t is
just that she hasn't any interest at
all of her own.
Because Mother so much enjoys
Mamie it never occurs to her that
Mamie, doesn't enjoy her, and that
Mamie doesn't always want to be
with her as much as she wants to be
with Mamie. That is no reflection on
Mamie or any sign that she doesn't
love her mother and appreciate her
1t is just that youth calls to youth
and that each of us longs for some
privacy and freedom.
| What's to be done with the posses
sive mother, nobody knows, unless
mothers get wise enough to realize that
mother love can curse as well as bless
and that if they want to retain the
affection of their grown children they
must not enslave them.
DOROTHY DIX.
+ y y
NEAR Miss DIX love my husband
very much and I know that he
loves me, but he is so jealous that he
doesn't want me to even recognize
the existence of another man. When
was girl I was popular with men.
When meet one of my old friends on
the street still salute him by throw
ing up my hand as used to do, and,
If the occasion demands, have con-
| versation with him. To this my hus-
band objects strongly. He points out
to me that, although he was also pop
ular with girls before We were married.
that now when he meets one of them
be barely lifts his hat to her and never
indulges in a friendly conversation,
but treats her with the utmost for
mality. He says that we promised in
our marriage VOWS to forsake all
others.
I am at a loss as to what to do.
Should 1 respect his request in this
particular, which think is not jus
tifiable, or should insist that have