Evening star., 1936-12-17
Coping With
{ ficul t
Situations
Happy M e dium in
Tolerance Is
Best.
BY EMILY POST.

nEAR MRS. POST: What can one
do when vulgar talk is introduced
at party? Every once in a while
this occurs and always feel helpless.
If I laugh with the rest I feel cheap
and vulgar and hate myself, and if
I don't try to laugh, others say you
can't take it." have tried to ignore
whatever was said, making believe
I didn't hear, but some one invariably
draws attention to my not having
heard and the whole unpleasant sub
ject is brought up all over again, with
the spotlight turned on me.
AnSwer-If pretending that you did
not understand is futile, you have no
choice that can see except to say,
as Queen Victoria did, I'VE are not
amused" with your expression even
if not with your actual words. In
other words, it comes to this: either
you are amused enough to be willing
to go out with these friends. or you
will find other people to go out with.
= X xx
NEAR MRS. POST: I have unin-
tentionally hurt a friend and
am miserable about it. Some time
ago she telephoned and invited my
husband and me to go driving with
her and her husband on a Sunday
afternoon. We accepted and she said
they would be around for us in about
an hour. Shortly after her invita-
tion, relatives of ours, who live far
away and whom we had not seen for
several years, telephoned from near
by town that they were on their way
home from~a business trip and would
like to come over to see us. There
was no time to explain all This to Our
friends first, and told the relatives to
come. Then I telephoned our friends
Immediately but they had already
started out for our house. When
they arrived tried to straighten out
everything but the wife was very
obviously hurt and would not stay be-
cause she said they had ordered din
ner elsewhere for the four of us and
would have to go. I have called this
friend once or twice since, inviting
her to the house, but she is always
busy and I feel that this is simply
pretense. What can I do? And did
I really do something terrible under
the circumstances?
AnSWer-It is an undeniable truth
that broken engagements are often
dangerous to friendship. In this par
ticular case it seems to me that had
your engagement been to dine with
your friends, your failing them at the
last minute would have been mex
cusable. But since. apparently, you
were merely asked to 60 for a drive
and did not know about their plan
for dinner, think your friends re-
sentiment is easonable-especially
since you evidently asked them to stay
and reservations could have been can
celed. Whether you care enough for
her to keep on inviting her after her
repeated refusals is something that
only you yourself can answer.
y X \
NEAR MRS. POST: would like to
give an evening surprise birthday
party for my son, asking dozen or SO
Of his high school friends. Everything
is to be simple and the evening will
probably be spent in playing variety
of games, as our house does not afford
space for dancing. For refreshments,
would chicken sandwiches and milk be
sufficient? I know all the young
people drink milk and hardly any of
them drink coffee, and thought milk
would be very easy to serve. Or can
you suggest something that you like
better?
Answer-If you are sure they like
milk better than anything else, this
Is an excellent reason for serving it.
Otherwise, I think would suggest
that you have cocoa for change, and
also because a hot drink would taste
better with cold sandwiches.
SCopyright. 1e36.)