The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1936-10-01

COME SlHSly.
The name Napoleon has been
overworked to describe ability with
in some small body, but here, to
the limits of his own craft, was not
only Napoleon but Daniel Boone
and a Balzac all rolled in one.
Payroll Patriots.
COME low industrial royalist has
- been checking up on the sisters
and the cousins and the aunts of
New Dealers who are on the federal
payroll. We call that nepotism
when the opposition does it, or fam
lily love when one of our own crowd
is guilty.
'Twould seem Dixieland leads in
this display of domestic affection.
The champion is Senator Smith of
South Carolina. There were all
sorts of delegates at the Demo-
cratic national convention, but he
was the only walking delegate -
walked out twice, and each time
walked right back again. He has
five relatives drawing salaries from
Uncle Sam. Even Uncle Jack Gar
ner, the sphinx of Texas, has
three.
This looks like an improvement
on the old southern system, when
kinfolks dropped in for a weekend
and stayed the rest of their lives.
Summer AnnovauceS
EVEN in sun kicked California,
II summer is on its last legs. This
one will go down in history as the
summer which produced handles,
knock-knocks; the dust storm and
the campaign speech, these two be-
ing interchangeable terms in most
cases; likewise the seventeen-year
locust and the gentleman who was
In active charge of our Olympic
teams trip to Berlin. People were
seriously annoyed in other ways,
too.
Political Geysers.
IAN it be we made a mistake
~ by blowing under cotton instead
of orators?
That famous phenomenon of ma
ture in Yellowstone park, which
spouts at such frequent intervals
ought to be getting uneasy. Any
moment it may lose its name of
old faithful and become known as
the Junior John Hamilton geyser.
And Secretary Ickes certainly is
qualifying as the minute-man of the
new revolution or oftener than
that, if there's an audience. Colonel
Knox isn't doing so badly, either.
In the modern version of ''the spirit
of 49," he's the one who's beating
so hard on the eardrum. Still, it's
a grand thing - but surprising -
to find newspaper editor who talks
forcibly on his feet instead of writ
ing feebly on his seat.
On the other hand, Uncle Jack
Garner continues to be the ideal
back-seat driver the one who
hasn't said a single word during
the entire trip.
Dictators and Shirt Tails.
T ET'S see. Among others, we
IL now have the blue shirts in
Ireland, the brown shirts in Ger
many, the red shirts in Russia, and,
of course, the black shirts in Italy,
which seems the most practical of
all because you don't need to wash
a black shirt for months and
months.
So maybe we're too quick. The
alarmists among us are predicting
an early dictatorship here. At the
rate all the standard shares are
being snapped up, We'll have to
think up new color in shirts, and,
unless we hurry, there may not be
any new colors to think up, and
you can't have a dictatorship with
out a shirt to match that's the
rule Lavender hasn't been taken
yet by anybody, but lavender seems
kind of sissy, and, while, a gravy
colored shirt might suit the careless
eater, it lacks zing, don't you think?
In any event, our shirt ought to
have good long tan to it, be-
cause, by that time, the American
taxpayer probably will have lost
his pants.
IRWIN S. COBB