Evening star., 1936-01-16

anu StrOng, well educated
and equipped to hold down
- my job. I am in my 40's.
My work takes me here and there.
keeps me keyed up and enjoy it.
am widow with an only child. She
Is married and both she and her hus-
band insist upon my coming to live
with them.
MY daughter is very unhappy be-
cause I refuse to do so. She thinks
it is my duty, but think that I am
a far greater help to her by being
able to assist her financially than 1
would be sitting in the chimney cor
ner Just being grandma and having
to be supported myself. I don't be-
lieve in mothers going to live with
their married children. Besides, !
like my own life and want to live 1t.
What do you say?
A MODERN MOTHER -IN-LAW.
Right you are, lady, and If there
were more mothers like you, who had
the grit and the spunk to go out and
make their own bread and butter
and live their own lives instead of
settling down on their children, it
would do as much as any one thing
to promote human happiness.
WHEN mother goes to live with her
w children, grief walks in at the
door. 1t is toss-up which is the
most miserable-the daughter o,
daughter -in-law or the mother. On
the one side you have the young
woman who has to put up with the
whims and crotchets and fault finding
and complaining Of an older woman
who is dissatisfied because she has
been taken out of her own environ
ment and who interferes with every
thing because she is bored and has
nothing to do.
On the other hand, you have q
woman who finds that she has either
to be rubber stamp in her chill
| dren's houses, or else a firebrand
who finds the days endless because
she has neither work nor interests
with which to fill them, who is lonely
and friendleSS because she knows nc
one but her daughters friends and
she has nothing in common with
them.
| OF course, when father dies the
children are actuated by the most
affectionate motives when they beg
mother to give up the old home and
come and live with them. And they
pat themselves on the back when they
tell mother that she has worked long
enough and that they will support
her and take care of her. But, in
reality, they are doing the unkindest
thing they could to mother. She
would be a million times happier II
/ they would leave her in her owr
home and in her own environment and
get some old crony to bear her COM
pany.
NO WOMAN can be at the head oi
her own house for 80 or 40 years
and ever be content to play second
fiddle in some other woman's home
Nor can any idle woman ever bt
happy after spending busy lifetime
running her own home. The habit
of work Is too strong on her.
OF course, there are many cases
where a woman is old and feeble
when 1t is necessary for her to go tt
live with her children, but there art
thousands upon thousands Of womer
who are still strong. healthy and ca
pable of supporting themselves. 1t il
shame when they become parasites
on children who are not able to sup
port them and who have all they car
do to provide for their own families
These women would be Thousand
times happier if they struck out fo
themselves and supported themselves
had their own hcmes and lived thei
own independent lives.
So I urge this correspondent no
to accept her daughters and son-in
laws invitation to live with then
If she gives up her good job an
settle down with them to be just
baby nurse and kitchen helper, Sh
will be an old woman in a few year:
She will find that between mother
who is a gay guest coming for a
occasional visit and mother who ha
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