The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1936-01-02

~ impression that the big con-
n troversy of the day is between
Hitler and Europe, or Father
Coughlin and General johnson,
or even between the New Deal and the
Republicans: but they are wrong. The
big controversy which is occupying
most of the human race, is the one
between the husbands and the wives,
to decide who's boss.
The minute the letter II precedes the
word Alter, the trouble begins and
for hundreds of years past the difficult
ties Of this particular type Of union
were settled by the men, who used
club for the purpose. Each man had
his own private club, and when he
joined up with it and then brought suf-
ficient pressure to bear, the lady hOl-
Tered a lot about going home to Nom
mes cave but generally didn't get any
further than hollering because as there
were no police radio cars, none of the
neighbors telephoned in about it and
the lady stayed licked and liked it.
This undoubtedly the origin of the
male club as an institution. And in
more modern times the mere mention
Of the fact that man was going to his
club was enough to start a panic in
his home. His wife would promise
practically anything If he'd go only once
a week, hence the expression holding
a club over her head"
Then in quite recent years women
got resigned to the club idea because
it gave them something to reproach
their husbands about. And next they
got up some clubs of their own. Then
some pants Of their own and some
votes of their own and the battle over
who was boss got less cute and more
acute.
The trouble with the women is,
they want the man to be the boss, but
they want him to prove it. And when
a competent wife asks that she's
really asking too much.
And the trouble with the men Is,
they want the woman to be boss but to
pretend she isn't.
The Matrimonial Union ought to
adopt some modern methods of oper-
ating If il wants to get anywhere
Look where organization got the A.
F. of L.! No, you look, can't quite
bring myself to. But what 1 mean
Is, that clubs are out of date but
strikes are not. And If this eternal
man-woman question is ever to be
settled satisfactorily, it should be done
through protective associations which
will see to it that the interests Of
both parties are stimulated, I beg par
don, mean looked out for.
OF course strike methods would be
no novelty in most homes where she
has been striking with a rolling pin
for years, and he has been taught that
no gentleman aver raises his hand to
a woman with the one exception Of the
school teacher when he is very young
and wants to leave the room.
But modern strikes are not con-
Quoted that way. Nowadays when
strikers walk out they also walk up
and down. They crawl In between two
slices Of a sign-board, make human
sandwich out Of themselves, and Il
they also wore an onion and a little
mustard you could bite into them for
a hamburger and never know the diff
ference. This is called picketing but
does not mean you are on the picket
fence. It just means you are picking
on somebody.
The way I figure the Matrimonial
Union could work it would be some
thing like this: say Mr. Jones has re-
fused to buy his wife new hat. Mrs.
Jones Immediately reports the outrage
to her local and the women start walk
ing up and down in front Of the Jones'
house wearing sandwiches which pro-
claim "Mr. Jones is unjust to the mil
linery trade" Then underneath MAR
ried Women's Protective Union, Lo-
cal No. L."
The same methods would of course