The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1936-01-31

" az 4Ol SSN W OC u" al vi llAo
Having recuperated some Of
his fortune, he is now prepar-
ing, I am told, to produce an
other play this season. 1t is his
revenge.
There's the tale of the absent
minded chap who never keeps an
appointment. Those who know
him will arrange TO meet him,
say at o'clock sharp. "I1l be
there" he'll assure you, conf
IDENTIFY. But knowing him, you'll
take your time and get around
at $3.50. Then, if luck is with
you, you'll only have to wait an
hour or so before receiving a
phone message that he'll meet
you the following day-positively.
But for once he decided nothing
would interfere with his keeping
an important date. His pal, his
best friend in the world. was go
ing to get married. For the
luvomi'se, joe" he said, "be there
tomorrow afternoon at 4 sharp.
You're my best man. Don't go
back on me-"
If it's the last thing do, Jim.
I'll be there-right on the dot. |"
Joe assured him. The
dots rnSNrncnYNf nloFSn Nf time
Joe hadn't forgotten. At 4 o'clock
he remembered that. Carefully,
he dressed. He summoned his
chauffeur. Hank" he said.
burn up the gas. For once in
my life I'm going to be on time. !"
At sharp he was ringing
the dOOrben at the brides
house. His friend greeted him.
Good old joe" he exclaimed.
ITS great to see you. You're
Just in time. Junior was born
20 minute ago. But tell me,
you OF SOnuvagun, why didn't
you show up for our wedding
last year,"
The news story last week that
a Tennessee high school fra
ternity had decided to abolish
hazing, following one of its ses-
Sions in which a student was al
most asphixiated brings to mind
the case at a Mid-Western col
lege. A frat committee had
ordered a candidate for admis-
sion to read aloud the chapter
describing the means which Sem
eca, the ancient Roman stole,
employed to end his life
namely, opening his veins while
in the bath. Suddenly, a hood
was thrown over the boys face
and then he was forcibly I'M
dressed and thrust into a tub
of tepid water. Various members
of the committee, pretending to
have long needles in their hands,
set about to pinch him, carrying
on q conversation in the mean
time from which the victim
gathered that blood was flowing
freely from what he imagined
were punctured parts of his body.
After about 10 minutes, one of
the hazers pulled the hood from
the boys face. He was dead
although absolutely uninjured!
There Is . Chinaman here
who operates one Of the few
remaining laundrieS still owned
by OrientalS. You may recOg-
nize him, if you ever run
across him, because he has
wide Zigzag scar running down
the left side of his face. A
man came into his Laundry one
night just as a little blond
haired girl o. seven ran in,
threw her arms about the
Chinaman and Rugged him
tightly. The Caucasian saw red.
He struck at the Oriental with
his pOnderOus fist. The dia-
mOnd in his ring cut open the
laundryman'S cheek. Then the
white man left. He was really
too impetuOuS. The laundry
man is married to q white
widOw-and the little blond
girl is his Stepchild.
He was so we'll known you only
had to repeat his name once to
long-distance operator. Some years
ago he merged with a gal who
thought she could write, too. Be-
cause his stuff was so much in
demand, canny editors bought
some of her yarns and chalked
it UP to overhead. The lass head,
as result, sprouted right through
her wind-blown, and the day came
when she decided she was too
Big Time for the chap whose
name she shared. She slipped
down into Mexico and lured a
complete set Of division papers,
unknown to him. But, as might
be expected, she found that with.
out his aid, what she wrote was
just so many words with commas
and exclamation points. Chas.
tened, she returned to the Big Vii,
lage and resumed relations with
the author. AS far as he ever
knew, she had merely been visit
ing friends on the CoaSt-and he
never did know that he was NO
longer married to her-and never
will know, for that matter, be