Milford chronicle., 1936-07-10
In the Picture II Seems
Mr.. WHIPPLE'S DRESS
SUIT

~ NCE there was a Kid who
lived in a tall-grass Settle
~ ment just two miles this side
of the Jumping-Off Place.
There was a Railway through the
Town but no Fast Train ever
stopped at Wimpusville unless 1t
had a Hot Box. Sherman Whipple
spent his early Youth In this be-
nighted Burg.
When only three years old Sher-
man sized up his Environment and
knew that he was in Dutch. After
that he wasn't interested in any
thing except Timetables. 1t may
be true that the Sharks on So
GEOLOGY, who cannot understand why
Lads leave the Villages and flock
to the Bright Lights, never served
a Term in one Of these Out-of-the-
way Hamlets where the only regu-
lar Visitors, In the old Days, were
English SparrOws and Drummers.
Now Picture Palace smiles where
once the Feed Store was. The sky
is full Of Antennae and the HOnk
of the Henry Is heard at 2 a. m. d.
Not so, however, when the Earth
ly Career of Sherman Whipple was
still IN its Springtime. The Town
Of Wimpusville had a complicated
Case Of MOpes and Chidders.
1t happened that when Our Hero
was about s years Of age he saw In
a Story Paper, which his Ma read
with great Regularity, a beautiful
WOOd-Cut depicting a Scene in High
Life.
1t was in a Conservatory with
Palms all over the Place. There was
a Lady who was very Slender at the
Waist and much less slender just
Below, and she was in complete
LOw-Neck and wore Diamond Ear
Bobs and had two Cubic Feet Of
Hair and was, according to the
Standards Of Pre-Golf Days, raw
ing Beauty of the Statuesque Type.
Her name was Alys. It was Alys
Montague.
THE CORRECT SOUP AND FISH
In the Picture it seemed that
Alys was peeved over some PrOpO-
sition that had been put up to her
by the Gentleman in the Long Tail,
who was none other than Geoffrey
Durante.
Although it showed in the Pic
ture that Alys was shrinking away
from Geoffrey until only a clever IL
illustrator could prevent her from do
ing Flop and although the Read
ing Matter indicated that GeOffrey
Kissed "Have a carel" when Alys
hinted that she had learned Of his
Secret Marriage to Gladys MarstOn
even though the Circumstantial
Evidence Indicated that Godfrey
was a terrible Pup, his Wardrobe
saved him. Evidently he was VII
lain, but still a Gentleman.
Sherman Whipple was fascinated
by the First Part Costume. It was
his first Meeting with the John
Drew Habillments. Never, in Real
Life, had he seen any one all duked
out in Thirteen and the Odd.
ATALL TREK FROM THE
HOMETOWN
The Wood-Cut practically deter
mined his whole Career. He made |
a secret Vow that some day he
would wear the whole Smear, In
cIuding silk Underwear and a Mon
ogram on his Shirt-sleeve. You
might say that a Dress Suit was
the Lode Star Of his Existence. He
steered his whole subsequent Course
in life toward a Conservatory, In
which he might have bantering |
Filtration with some Heiress who
carried a Fan and used good Per-
fumery.
When he packed his Wicker Suit
Case and did tall Trek from the
Corn Fields, It was not suspected
by the OATS and Numpkins Of his
native Township that he nursed his
ambition to write his Name In Let
tiers Of Fire on the Society Page
OF some Daily Paper.