Milford chronicle., 1936-07-10

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his early Struggles to tell Of the
weary Years during which, If he
had lost one Of his Collar Buttons,
he would have been practically Des-
titute.
Suffice to say that at last the
Sun of Prosperity jammed its way
through the clouds. and Sherman
found himself with an Apartment
Of his own and a sweet Balance at
the Bank. The dream Of a Life
Time was to become a joyous Real
ity. He felt that the Time had ar
rived for him to break out OF the
Shell and Crow three times and let
the World know that he had ar
rived.
So he went to a Real Tailor and
said he wanted a Dress Suit with
more Satin Lining than ever had
been seen on any Vaudeville Stage.
He wanted at least one Velvet Col.
lar and he wanted a little Dew
flicker to connect the Buttons in
front and he wanted much Braid
down the Trousers. The Tailor
tried to tell Sherman that Evening
Dress, or Full Dress, or Formal
Dress, or whatever one may choose
to designate the fantastic Garb,
should be characterized by an un-
obtruslve Elegance and not COmpli-
Gated by Innovations
NO QUIET RAIMENT FOR HIM
All that stun about cutting out
the Decorative Effects went for
Sweeney. Mr.. Whipple had waited
only 80 years for arrival Of The
Day and now that he was about
to back into a real Set Of Nffties
and carry his own Scenery, he
didn't want any Vestments that
were quiet and sedate. He want
ed a Dress Suit that would sound
like a Saxophone.
He had his wish. After the Hot
Raiment was delivered he spent
many an Hour In front Of the Mir
ror and had a great many imag-
mary Chats with Members Of the
Opposite Sex who were not IN,
known to the Haute Monde, what
ever that is.
He could hardly wait to flash the
proud apparel. His first Chance
came when he was invited to at
tend a Smoker given BY the Mem.
bers Of the Twelfth Ward Bowling
Club. When he showed up at the
Function he had on everything ex-
cept Lip Rouge. There were 400
Stays present and S99 Of them had
committed Social Errors by appear
ing In Sack Suits.
BAD NEWS FOR THE
DRESS.SUIr
One Day, after the beautiful Raj.
ment had been in the Camphor for
a month, Mr.. Whipple found some
thing in a Magazine which almost
froze his Blood. The Piece went on
to say that the Man Of, Fashion
who wished to be En- Rapport with
the late Wrinkles, could not be de
Rlgeur, a la Mode and absolutely
Razmagash even II he wore a Din
.ner Coat at Gatherings attended BY
Ladies'.
1t was Just like sticking a Knife
into the heart Of Sherman Whlpple.
He couldn't scoop up all Of the
French, but he surmised that the
Money which he had tied up in the
Swell Harness was going to be a
Total Loss. He had no Chance to
be among those present at the Net
rOpolitan Opera House, and the
weddings were out because the
only Friends he had In the World
had been married for years.
Little remains 10 be told. Sher-
man still has the Dress Suit but Il
binds across the Shoulders and the
Pants are so tight IN the Legs that
they no longer conform to the Rules
laid down in that sparkling Depart
ment headed "Styles for Men"
Often, as he sits by the Radla.
tor. waiting for Spring to show
up, Sherman wishes that he had
saved his Coin and bought a Radio.
MORAL: Those destined to wear
Royal Robes are born With them
alreadv on.