davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Milford chronicle., 1936-03-27

Il Is no longer customary to tie Ut
the bottom Of Fathers trousers OF
the morning Of April LIST. so he car
not draw on these garments. Nor
to place on the walk a brick tied in
to a nice looking package. so some
one will pick it up and think it is a
valuable parcel. Yet the April First
spirit Of obtaining enjoyment out Of
the embarrassment OF other people
still lives, and is likely to for long
time.
A verse Of poetry was once writ
ten, which raised the question wheth-
er the one who is fooled by such a
joke, or the one who does the fool
ing, is the greater simpleton. The
wise man may look foolish when he
has bitten into a wool doughnut. But
the mind that can get satisfaction
out of giving him that doughnut
shows less wisdom.
Still, life should not be too SOL
emn occasion. If the April Fool joke |
amuses the world, it can be tolerat-
ed So the man who is asked to call
up Mr.. Fish, and finds the number
given him was that of the aquarium,
should not look too sour. And if
he is still further asked to call Mr..
Bear, and finds he has been connect
I'd with the Geological Gardens, he
should not go too far up in the air.
The young world has learned from
he experiences of April list that
Kings are seldom what they seem.
after the youth has travelled all over
he town inquiring for a left-handed
crew driver, he is perhaps better {
tted to mingle in a world full of
eceptions.
With some folks it is April LIST all
he year around. When they see any
ody approaching the first idea is to {
Tork off some joke on them. That G
ind of people may be tiresome for :.
OCULAR companions, yet laughter is d
allied good medicine. C
Milford chronicle., 1936-03-27
HANDICAPPED BY DEAFNESS

That little cold you got as the re-
suit of going around bareheaded or
something else, may seem a very
trifing thing But this relatively
mild infection sometimes has seri-
GUS results. Prof. Hallowell Davis
of Harvard Medical School said in a
recent lecture that the common
cold" is the most common cause of
deafness. Better see a doctor if your
cold leaves you so you can't hear
when Ma calls you to dinner.
Defects in hearing handicap chill
dren. The child who is called stupid
perhaps can't hear what the teacher
says. He is often so ashamed of his
weakness that he won't mention it.
If a pupil learns slowly, have his
hearing tested before you condemn
him as a blockhead
Milford chronicle., 1936-03-27

meadow, the cows are ln the corn
and cotton and ne pigs are out 81
the pen. Even Little Boy Blue
couldn't stop them BY blowing hi
horn
BY cracking down on well estab.
lished stock raisors in the reglons
best adapted 20 that form Of agri-
culture. the animal industry Of ne
country is being driven into new
hands and into less suitable areas
to the discontinue and financial
disadvantage Of The corn belt farm
ers and western ranchers. The AAA
has tried to move all the national
furniture around except the hornets
nests"
Milford chronicle., 1936-03-27
HOUSECLEANING RLuEs

blues songs" have been written
about many of life's mournful ex-
periences. The housekeepers would
perhaps like more housekeeping
blues; depicting their troubles as
they don the dust cap and rout the
dirt with fierce determination.
Also Father suffers when he comes
home and finds his customary easy
chair out on the lawn. However, the
women folks tell us that only thus
can we dispose of uncounted millions
Of germs. So Father should cooper
ate and not grumbIe. He should feel
bit guilty if he absents himself
about the time the rugs have to be
beaten.
Milford chronicle., 1936-03-27
lI0RP CHRoNI0LE MFoRD DEAwARE FRIDAY Marco q 1gaa

more farmers are raising cattle to-
day than in 1880, and that the far
mers raising hogs have increased IN
number by $4,000 This trend Is att
tributed wholly TO the AAA program
Of Strengthening hogs, cattle and
sheep in the summer Of 1884.
Commenting on the change which
has come about. Or. 2. v. Wilcox.
secretary Of the Farmers Independ-
ence Council. says:
THE unfortunate results Of the
slaughter lie painfully visible about
us. But Census reports. just reieas-
ed, disclose an interesting farm shift
not contemplated by the AAA pro-
Milford chronicle., 1936-03-27
AZ. I. Kinds o. Else

Charleston. s c. News and Courier
Professor Tugwell is to be retain
ed as a Roosevelt adviser in the
coming campaign. 1t is not surpris-
ing. II would not be good strategy
to offend the liberals" the "radi-
calls" the "c0llectivists." The DEM
Ocratic strategy is to retain in cam
paign service Mr.. Walter ]. Cum
mings. treasurer Of the National
Democratic Committee, who is draw
ing aggregate salaries Of 100000
year from a bank and a railroad Ow-
ing millions 10 the RFC.. so as to
stand in with the money power"
and Professor Tugwell, who is the
pinkish representative of the red
dish voters. The strategy is to catch
fish and fowl and good red herring
I'm the same net.
Milford chronicle., 1936-03-27
What Democratic Editors Are Saying
BYRD'S ECONOMY MOVE

! Lynchburgs Va, News
The United States Senate ha,
adopted the resolution of Senator
Harry F. Byrd of Virginia providing
for inquiry into the multitudinous
bureaus, agencies, departments and
commissions of the Federal Govern
ment.
Il know many hundreds of mil
lions Of dollars can be saved by the
elimination of useless bureaus and
overlapping agencies" said Senator
Byrd.
Senator Byrd pointed out that
there are now 107 900 Federal EN-
ployees as compared with $1,000
when President Roosevelt assumed
office. There are in the country
100000 more than in 1888. These
figures do not include those Of the
CCC organization, or the relief
agencies. They are in the regular
departments Of the Government,
conducting regular activities. The
is not a blow at the New
Deal" for the inquiry will not be
into the emergency agencies.
Mr.. Roosevelt himself declared
that he would exact one pledge of
every Cabinet member and that
would be to work with him for
Economy and reorganization Of his
And it was the Demo-
cratic platform which declared that
here must be consolidation and
abolition of agencies to accomplish
4 reduction of 25 per cent in the eX-
of Government depart
nents, bureaus and agencies.
Milford chronicle., 1936-03-27
MORE POLITICS IN RELIEF

Reba Parmenter of Bloomfield,
who had been on the relief list at
$3.50 per week and asked a chance
to get job where she would work
rather than to get a dole as charity,
and had been given a position in the
relief Office at $3.50 per week. hav-
ing been certified as capable of
handling the duties of the position.
was fired last week TO make room
for the stepdaughter of state Off
cial who is drawing 5000 per month
and expenses.
The action also proves that our
relief chairman in this county was
using that Office to build up a pOliti-
cal machine, rather than as an agen-
cy of relief administration.
Milford chronicle., 1936-03-27

Illinois, indiana, Ohio and Missouri.
And while for the country as q
whole our swine population was re-
duced 100000, the number OF hogs
increased notably IN North Carolina,
South Carolina. Alabama, MISSISSIPPI
ri, Arkansas and Louisiana. There
are 100000 more brood sows in the
cotton belt than IN 1880, and 100000
more farms with less than 1--WE
brood sows.
Sheep numbers have declined
$4,000, 20 per cent of this loss
occurring in the western range
States. Over 5000 more farmers,
however. have started raising sheep
and the number Of breeding ewes
Milford chronicle., 1936-03-27

has increased 10 % states, particu-
larry in Texas, Ohio, Iowa and Min
nesota, to the extent Of s,205,000 IN
the face Of a decline Of $4,000 IN
the total ovine population.
i'As was to be expected, horses
and mules registered another back
sliding Of two million, but colts
showed an increase Of $4,000 over
the previous census, and this not
withstanding the great reduction OF
cash crop acreage, an apparent Lean
ing toward the horse and buggy age.
Fortunately it's not necessary for
the AAA 10 call IN their trained exc
perts to explain this shift Of the live
stock industry. The sheep are in the
Milford chronicle., 1936-03-27

moters. Cattle, sheep and hogs have
spread onto more farms than ever
before. Over 667.50O more farmers
are raising cattle than IN 1880. The
number Of cattle farms has increas-
ed in every State except South Da-
kota and Rhode Island. Iowa and
Texas each has q million more cat
tie and in the CLIFTON belt 5000 900
cattle are now growing on farms
where none grew before.
More than 3,97i,O00 farmers are
now raising porkers. That Is 4S6, 900
more than were hog conscious IN
1880. The number Of hog farms in
creased in 40 States, including Iowa,
Milford chronicle., 1936-03-27
DEFINING THE ALPHABETICALs

Arkansas Gazette
1. PWA, President Wrecked Amer
lea.
2. RFC, Roosevelt Fooled Country.
3. NRA. Nuts Ruined America.
4. FERA, Failed Every Real Am
erican.
5. FILA, Fell Hard Again.
6. CCC. Come, Cash. Come.
z. CWA, Can't Win Again.
5. AAA, Awful Assortment of
Asses.
Milford chronicle., 1936-03-27
NEEDED, A coon LAWYER
Lynchburg. Va. News

II is beginning 20 dawn upon a lot
of people that a Congress that can
not accomplish anything without
running afoul Of the law is a Con-
gress that can be dispensed with.
Or, maybe, arrangements could be
made to have Congress hire a law
yer.
Milford chronicle., 1936-03-27

PRETTY HARD to be popular at
party, if you just sit still and say
nothing. Also pretty hard to have
your business popular in the home
town. if you don't say something
about it through advertising.
Milford chronicle., 1936-03-27

LOVE is SAID TO MAKE the
world go round. If we don't love
our home town here in Delaware
there won't be much enthusiasm to
make the wheels of progress go
round and round"
Milford chronicle., 1936-03-27

THE MAJORITY of people find,
that if they can't make good in their
home towns, where they are known
and have friends, It is still harder
to do so in places where they are
strangers.
Milford chronicle., 1936-03-27
HARRY GETS HIS MAN"

The WPA doesn't have any trou-
BILE cutting red tape when Harry
Hopkins makes up his mind that he
wants the removal of a critical
Army officer.
Milford chronicle., 1936-03-27
DEED THEY DO

Atlanta Journal
In the good old days our Con-
gressmen viewed with alarm; now
they alarm with views.
Milford chronicle., 1936-03-27

Pronounced shifts in the livestock
industry have been uncovered by
the Farmers Independence Counsel
Of America as the result Of nation
wide study Of cattle and hog pro-
duction.
The Council finds that 667 500
Milford chronicle., 1936-03-27
FARMERS TURN TO LIVE STOCK
10 OFFSET AAA KILLING

Number OF Cattle And Hog Ralsers
!, Vastly Increased After AAA
Slaughter Program Produced
Shortage And SkyrOcketed Prices.
The Washington times., 1936-09-03

Fine quality fur felt hats that have just arrived
New Fall shades in pearl grey, medium grey, stee
grey, tan, French brown, dark brown and others
Raw edge snap brim styles. Sizes ga to 712.
The Washington times., 1936-09-03

Extrd Just IS Tworouser Students Suits with fancy back
Sizes "a o4O Medium dnd dark shddes Buy couple fo
| school Cnd dress.
The Washington times., 1936-09-03

Slight misWeaves but nothing to hurt their wearing
qualities. This is grand chance to stock up
at low price -Four popular styles
Smyrna times., 1936-09-17
PERSONALS

Presiding Elder Ayres. of Dover
District, dropper in on us Monday,
fresh and vigorous in looks and
wearing his new honors with be-
coming grace. He was on his first
rounds in the northern part of his
district on Sunday, preaching at
Raymon6s Church, five miles from
this town, the most northern ap-
pointment of the district, on Sun
day afternoon, not being able to
make Dover for his evening ap-
pointment because of the heavy
thunder storm.
Prof. e. D. Tarr, was visiting
friends in this vicinity last week
and in the town on Saturday. To
him Smyrna lost much of its inter-
est when Prof. Groves left it to re-
side elsewhere.
Mrs. ]. c. Jemison, Of New Cas-
tie, Is visiting her mother, Mrs.
Amanda Spencer.
Miss Minnie Reed, left Monday
for school at Luthersville near Bal
timOre- A. w. Clfmmins and Frank
(Ccntinued - raos zhseaS
Smyrna times., 1936-09-17
1T. COL. HALL TO
GRANT
For Past Two Years He Has
Served as u. S. District
Engineer at Cincinnati
TAKES Fl. DU POINT POST

1t. Col. Charles L. Hall, Corps of
Engineers, ordered by the War De
partment to Fort Dupont several
months ago to succeed Col. U. S.
Grant III as commanding officer,
arrived at the post Friday with
members of his family He will oc-
cupy the commanding officers
quarters recently vacated by Col
onel Grant. Lieutenant Colonel
Hall has been OF duty for the past
two years at Cincinnati, Ohio,
where he has been district U. S.
engineer. He was visitor on the
post about three weeks ago for a
part of one day at which time he
made arrangements to send his
children to a Wilmington school.
He was there again Tuesday for a
few hours on personal business.
Maj. Clinton w. Ball, c. E. has
been post commander since the de-
parture of Colonel Grant
Smyrna times., 1936-09-17

on the nominating committee.
Other afternoon elections were:
Members of executive committee,
Madison Wallin, ,Seaford; John Car
row, Dover; Henry T. Bush, Will
mington. Advisory committee,
New Castle County: Harold Hor-
sey, Wilmington; John F. Cloud,
New Castle; David c. Aspril, Odes-
sa; Thomas Lattomus, Townsend,
and John K. Garrigues, Whining
ton. Kent County: w. E. Nowlan,
Smyrna; w. R. Brown, Wyoming;
A. G. Jackson, Camden; Randall
H. Knox, Harrington, and John E.
Mcbride, Frederick. Sussex Coun-
ty: Joseph H. Cox, Seaford; Joseph
L. Marshall, Lewes; DR.. Joseph B.
NAPLES, Georgetown; William v.
Sipple, Milford, and ]. Reese White,
Milsboro. Trust company section:
]. K. Garrigues, chairman; Russell
H. Morris, Newark, vice-chairman;
A. ]. Jackson, Camden, secretary;
Harvey D. Williams, Laurel, and
Joseph w. Chinn, Wilmington,
members of executive committee.
Vice-president elected for the saw
ings bank divisions of the Ameri-
can Bankers Association for Della
ware are: Robert E. Kemp, Will
mington, Artisans Savings Bank;
Rodman Ward, Wilmington Trust
Company; Daniel Hirsch, Milford
National Bank, and DIR. G. Payn-
ter, Georgetown State Bank. The
association adopted resolution
paying tribute to the memory of
the 18 members who have died
since the last annual meeting. Fol-
lowing the reading of the names
the group stood in silence for one
minute.
Smyrna times., 1936-09-17
DELAWARE AGRICULTURAL
In Comparison to Other States on
Square Mile Basis, Ranks Sixth

Delaware, in spite of her small
size, ranks among the leading ag-
ricultural states in the value of
farm crops produced per square
mile. This fact is brought to light
in the 1886 Yearbook of Agricul-
ture which has been recently pub
lished by the U. S. Department of
Agriculture. In a table of statis-
tics showing the total farm value
of ga principal crops produced in
1885, Delaware is credited with
S9,570,OOO. While this figure is
among the lowest shown on the
table, only New Hampshire, Rhode
Island, and Nevada being lower,
when it is compared to the figures
for the other states on square
mile basis, the Delaware figure
ranks sixth among those of the
states. With an area of 2,370
square miles for the state the total
breaks down to an average of $4,-
O38 per square mile or a farm
value for crops produced of $3.50
for every acre of land in the state.
Only Iowa, Illinois, North Carolina,
New Jersey, and Indiana show bet
ter figures for the 1885 crop year.
Smyrna times., 1936-09-17
MOTORISTS VS..
SCHOOL PUPILS
Opening of Schools Call For
Greater Care in AutOmO-
bile Driving
COOPERATION is URGED

With the opening of schools for
the Fall term, motorists are urged
by the Delaware Automobile Asso-
citation to give their fullest cooper
alton to the movement fostered by
the Association for the protection
of school children. Linnaeus l..
Hopes, Executive Secretary of the
Association, points out that many
dangers confront children return
ing to school after the summer va
cation, and emphasizes the respon-
sibility of motorists in safeguard
ing the lives of pupils. "A factor
having important bearing on the
problem of child safety" he said,
sis the appearance on the streets
of thousands of youngsters attend
ing school for the first time. These
children have not had the benefit
of safety instruction in the class
rooms, and in their behalf we ap-
peal particularly to motorists. To
a very great extent. the safety OF
first-year pupils will depend upon
the cars with which motor vehicles
are operated, not only in the vicin-
ity of schools, but on all streets
where children are walking on
their way to and from their class
rooms. All drivers are strongly
urged to use the utmost caution
where children are crossing streets
No one can foreten when a child is
going to rush forward from g
group into the path of moving We
hicIes. Because of this uncertain.
ty the duty devolves upon the mo
torist to have his car under such
control that he can stop at mo-
ment's notice. Safe drivers never
take chances where children are
concerned.
THE Delaware Automobile As
sociation also wishes to impress
upon motor vehicle operators the
Importance of cooperating with the
School Safety Patrols. The boys
and girls who constitute these pa
trolls are doing splendid work il
accident prevention. They are al
ways on the alert to safeguard fel
low pupils, but their efforts will be
hampered without complete coop
Grafton of motorists"
Smyrna times., 1936-09-17
UNUSUAL RECEPTION TO
SMYRNIAN

Joseph Wright, who went some
two months to visit his old home
and friends in England returned on
Friday and had right royal re-
ception. The members of Morning
Star Lodge, had Charles H. Regis
ter on the lookout for the arrival
of the steame, and he telegraphed
home, after interviewing him, that
Mr.. Wright would be home on the
eight o'clock train. 1t was determ-
ined at once to give him a good,
Odd Fellows greeting, and at the
proper time that evening they
marched up to the depot in double
file, headed by the Smyrna Cornet
Band, the procession being from
one to two squares long. Mr..
Wright's family had met him at
Clayton and this grand reception
at our depot was entirely unex-
pected by him and of course excit-
ed the tenderest emotions. While
the hearty hand-shaking was going
on the band executed Home again
home again, from a foreign shore, y
and there was indeed the outward
manifestations of a real Odd Eel
lows Love feast" We might add
that Mr.. Wright's welcome home
has been quite as cordial by the
citizens at large, and he has hao
to do great deal of Misunderstanding
and talking since his arrival.
Smyrna times., 1936-09-17
DEATHS


Boyer-Near Sassafras, Md. Sep
tember 11th. Adelaide, widow of
the late S. Wilmer Boyer, aged II
years.
Conard = Near Bombay Hook,
September 7th, Mary A, wife of
Isaac w. Conard, aged 64 years, 4
months and IL days.
Culbreth-In Chicago, ILL.,, Aug
ust 9th, Samuel, son of the late
Samuel Culbreth, of Dover, in his
33rd year.
Murphy-In Dover, September
8th, Blanche, daughter of the late
Rev. Thomas G. Murphy.
Purnell-Near Blackbird, Sep
tember 8th, Mrs. Elizabeth Purnell,
aged 8s years.
Russell Bombay Hook, Septem-
Der 11th, Eugene Russell, aged 4
months.
Smith-In Philadelphia, Septem-
ber 10th, Sallie. daughter of Ben
jamin H. Smith, formerly of this
town, aged % years.
Sutherland-At Red Lion, Sep
tember 7th, DR.. Doderic Suther-
land, in his list year.
Taylor-In Camden, N. j., Sep
tember 18th, Susan A, wife of
Levin ]. Taylor. formerly of this
town, aged 80 years, 9 months and
days.
Smyrna times., 1936-09-17
Missing Girls Located

Lillian Beecher, 16 years old, and
Carolyn Jamison, 13 years old,
missing from their homes near
Seaford, were located at Camden,
New Jersey. last week, at the
home of Lillian's uncle and aunt,
Mr.. and Mrs. Alloback. The girls,
it was revealed pretending to go to
bed at the home of Carolyns par
ents. Mr.. and Mrs. Lpnam Jamison,
jumped out of Carolyn's bedroom
window on the first floor after the
parents had retired for the night
and with little money "thumbed'
their way to Camden. Families of
the two girls are neighbors. The
girls were brought back and for
given. The girls gave as their rea-
son for running away that their
parents were too strict on them in
entertaining boys.
Smyrna times., 1936-09-17
Masons To Promote III. r. Craig

The thirty-third Masonic degree
will be conferred on Harry RCraig
of Wilmington, at the annual meet
ing of the Supreme Council, An
cient and Accepted Scottish Rite
Masons for the Northern Masonic
Jurisdiction in the United States in
Atlantic City, September 22-24.
Samuel H. Bayard, Jr., Charles c.
Kurtz, William K. Williamson, ].
Wallace Woodford, t. Robert Bis
coe, H. w. T. Purnell, T. A. Soud-
er and William A. Lang are ex-
pected to attend the meeting.
Smyrna times., 1936-09-17
MARRIAGES

Deininger ?Braning-In Camden,
N. j., September 9Th, by the Rev.
William P. Davis, D. D., William S.
Deininger and Edith S. Braning.
Grafns-Isenberg- this town,
September 18th, by Rev. H. M.
Overholtzer, of Tyrone, Pa, Martin
Grains, of Martinsburg, Pa, and
Miss Emma S. Isenberg. of Tyrone,
PA.
Painter-Pearson-In Camden, N.
j., September 11th, by Rev. Will
liam p. Davis, d. D., George B.
Painter and Miss Mary Pearson.
Smyrna times., 1936-09-17

The harvest moon was full on
Monday night, and shone in all its
glory.
Powell F. Johns has taken the
public school of Kenton and moved
his family from Clayton to that
town.
The Bethel NJ. E. Church will
run an excursion to Chestertown
on Sunday next to attend camp
meeting near that town.
Rev. A.. N. Keigwin, pastor of
the West Presbyterian Church,
Wilmington, and Rev. DR.. Umsted,
of this town, will exchange pulpits
on next Sabbath.
The Peninsular Bone Fertilizer
Company have been compelled to
engage warerooms in Philadelphia
for the storage and shipment of
their fertilizers for their Northern
and Western trade.
David l.. Spruance, west OF Clay
ton continues in the lead in grow
ing fine cantaloupes. He brought
one to this Office on Saturday of
the Persian variety which weighed
III "a lbs. and measured 81 by 80
inches.
Harry Rawley, near town, has
lost sixteen head of shoats and pigs
from the disease commonly known
as hog cholera. 1t has, he thinks,
about run out. Similar cases have
been reported from the neighbor-
hood of Moorton.
The Peninsular Bone Fertilizer
Company are shipping an average
of 100 tons of phosphate a day
Star Bone and Planet-and in this
capacity furnish constant employ
ment to three sail vessels beside
the facilities afforded by the Bonn
bay Hook r. r.
John Salaway, brakeman on
the ID. & B. Road, had his hanG
mashed while coupling cars al
Meal Dembey's Crossing, this town
on last Wednesday evening. DR.
Collins dressed the wound. 1t was
occasioned by getting cinders in
his eyes and thus, while his sight
was obstructed, getting his hand
between the bumpers.
A little daughter of John w
Start, residing on Glenwood Av-
enue, was severely burned yester-
day by her clothes catching fire, il
is supposed from the stove. Hel
mother was standing at the from
door when the child walked into
the entry leading thereto with he
clothes all ablaze. The horrifieC
mother rushed in stripping th'
flaming garments from her.
Smyrna times., 1936-09-17
Sussex Farmer Bsdy n

Theodore Jones, a ts-|
near Milton, is suffering Id
ious internal injuries ss n
an unusual accident il 4
mule and a pitchfork wee /
ed. The farmer was wrErg|
his place with a pitc4ri |
range of the mules hses u
animals heels unexpe,.sEI
into action. The animaF,
contacted the pitchtorl |
the handle into the tsrn1
domen. At Milford I'd
Hospital, where be w& 4
was found that while III
skin of the abdomen bad d
broken, there were two p
of the intestinal tract JrsI
pected to recover. |