davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1936-09-26
Marry-Go-
Round
By HELEN ROWLAND

No matter what a girls morals
may be, her hats must be more
bizarre and erratic this season
than ever.
There is something about the
tone in which bridegroom
bachelor cronies tender their con-
gratulations which sounds more
like commiSeration than like felici-
tation.
One of the tenderest memories
Of a mans life, says the Cynic, is
that of his refusal by the first girl
he thought he couldn't live with
out.
One reason why "all the world
loves a lover" is because he acts
so irrational and fatuouS that the
rest of us are filled with self-con-
graduation and complacent
sense of superiority.
When a man assures a girl that
she is the only woman he ever
loved, she may be thrilled, but she
is more likely to be appalled, at
the prospect that she may have to
do a lot of kindergarten work.
There is nothing like a days
window-shopping in the most ex-
pensive places, to make a woman
forget that the rent is overdue.
Somehow. just trying on imported
hats that she can't afford gives
her a feeling of affluence.
Many a young man thinks that
he is marrying a sweet girl, when
he is merely tying himself up for
life to lot of bill-collectors.
Copyright. 1888. by King Features
Syndicate. Inc.)
The Washington times., 1936-09-26
Words of
WseMen

Yet each man kills the thing
he loves,
BY each let this be heard,
Some do it with a bitter look,
Some with a flattering word,
The coward does it with a kiss,
The brave man with sword.
Oscar Wilde.
On with the dance! let joy be
unconfin'd; no sleep till morn,
when youth and pleasure meet.
Byron.
The child is father of the man.
Wordsworth.
Whatever begins, also ends.
Seneca.
The widest colts make the best
horSes.-Plutarch.
Every man desires to live long,
but no man would be old.-Swift.
The Washington times., 1936-09-26

said were gathered from the
waste baskets of the agencies.
These records have been pasted
together by crew Of girls work
ing diligently in Senator La Fol
lette's office.
With the help Of these pasted
bits of paper the Senator has a
tricky way of questioning the op'
eratives of the companies which
he is investigating.
After pouring over them a list
Of questions to which mostly the
answers were II don't know" or II
don't remember" the chairman
reads excerpts from the record.
Most of the answers to his ques,
tions are contained there in let,
ters signed by the operative who
Is on the stand.
After he has asked the queS-
tions and read the answers he
gives the witness an opportunity
to revise his testimony. One Of the
witnesses took the lead and said
that he could remember. Others
stuck to their stories.
This brought the observation
from the Senator that he couldn't
see how they could work. Accord
ing to them they had no records
and darn poor memories.
He brought out though, that
confidential reports that were sup
posed to be destroyed were written
on green paper and that each man
was given a number.
One of the letters was addressed
to Dear 700."
"WhO is 1902" the Senator
asked.
"It's the office" answered
the witness.
"Oh, so you are in the habit
Of writing letters to Dear Of
fice?" queried the Senator.
"What's that?" asked the wit
ness.
"Oh, skip it," retOrted the
Senator.
Further revelations were that
when these men went to a mill or
industry to find out what the en-
The Washington times., 1936-09-26

on his part, for he remembered
not only 1914 but 1870 as well. His
French logic told him that a pow
erful Germany would be an ever
lastingly present menace to
France.
However. that same logic should
have pointed out to him that
10000, 900 people could not be kept
in vaSsalage and that the severity
of the treaty could only shorten
the time in which these 60,00O,000
would rise and throw off their
shackleS. That time has arrived.
The German republic never had
a chance because of Versailles.
And because of Versailles, Hitler
got his chance and made the
most of it.
It is interesting to note the coin
cidence of Lloyd Georges visit to
Germany with the announcement
that another clause of the peace
treaty has become another scrap
of paper.
The clause is Article lis which
P4ON1OCO U11cbU O41C 1O4 1CoN1O14S aI40
harbors of the island of Helgoland
should be destroyed and never be
reconstructed.
Had Germany lived up to that
clause that triangular block of
sandstone in the North Sea, which
is Helgoland, would in time have
crumbled away into the sea as it
has been doing for centuries.
But Germany is not living up to
the clause. Rather, she is again
cooking the pistol, as a fanciful
EngliShman once termed Helgo-
land, which lis pointed at Britain's
heart"
HELGOLAND
Helgoland, also called "The Gi.
bralter of the North Sea-" is 8
rocky ledge, one square mile In
area and it lies % miles off the
German coast. It rises a sheer
1000 feet from the sea and com.
mandS the mouths of four rivers
and the harborS of Bremen, Ham
burg and Cuxhaven.
When Bismarck was mapping
Germany's place in the sun the
strategic Importance of Helogland
came to be recognized.
1t then was possession of Eng.
The Washington times., 1936-09-26

land and to get it Germany was
willing to pay high and did, trad
ing to John Bull the island Of
Zanzibar. 5000 times the size Of
Helgoland for that ledge of sand.
St0Ile.
In this Germany of 1896, Lloyd
George sees not only Helgoland
refortified but the Rhine remili-
tarized. He sees fleets of military
airplanes and squadrons of sub
marines, all of which were forbid
den by the Versailles Treaty.
He talks 18th successor of the
HohenzollerlTS, who de andS
openly that the map be made over
to what it was in 1914. He sees
old alliances in the making and
the renewal of the armament race.
"Is it to happen all over AGAIN."
is a question he must ask himself.
Copyright. 1885, by King Features
Syndicate, Inc.)
The Washington times., 1936-09-26
No More Flowing Under,
LandOn Pledges Farmers
Erratic, Wasteful Raw Deal Policies Scored
By Kansas Governor

by Kansas governor
"There is no greater satisfaction than cunning the
piece of land that and his family call home. There
is feeling of partnership in a undertaking
among husband and IUe and children that is
sibEe on the farm than anywhere else
"There is nothing satisfying than raising good
crops haUng crib full of corn, plenty Of hay in the
1ow or stack and hogs and cattle fattening in the feed
lot.
"As of my farmer friends recently said to and
said Wh all reverence, "LOrd, wish We could haze
those things 0gdinv
From Gov Alfred M. LandonS speech at Des Moines,
Iowa, Sept %, 1886.
AS Governor of typical prairie State" Alfred Landon
knows farmers and knows their problems.
He has worked for farmers and with He talks their
language He not only the desire OF every farmer
but of millions of city people when he says
"There is no greater satisfaction than in cunning
piece of land that a and his family call home"
How make the farmer the land that he calls
home the question: nonparsan question which Governor
Landon answers in a nonpartisan way
And question that he has been answeringwith Deeds
not words-for the last four years in his own State.
TWo ago. after proving its in Kansas he
advised Mr. Roosevelt to minimize drought damage by
storing Udter in pools and reservoirs in drought
the Roosevelt "non- politician trip West this plan
suddenly rediscoUered by Mr.. Wallace, somebody
and given the Presidential benedictiOn.
GOUernor Landon long ago interested himself in
insurance. and preparing his Des Mones speech IOent
into that subject. The RauU Deal Wich to haze
strange of Advance information GOhat their
opponents doing, out strongly for insuT-
day tUo before the GOUernor spoke.
But these incidental matters The Governor pledged
himself elected continue farm benefits until the farmer
could stand alone to end the favors granted FOREIGN
farmers by Deal tariff nonsense the silly pow
under policy which destroyed food while Americans were
starving to halt gigantic payments to great farm coporatons
and above ALL permit city people buy farm products
by calling halt to the Raw Deals mad extravaganza and the
crushing tax load which has sadded on ALL consumers
The Landon speech made
Landon knows that you can't fool the farmer the
city duOeIer forever.
destroying crops and killing pigs have not yet learned
that lesson On November probable that they WILL
The Washington times., 1936-09-26
The Greatest Show On Earth
By Frank Miller Smith

,ployes were doing they usually
joined q union and to all intentS
and purposes worked as real union
men.
One operative posed as a news
paper man and an insurance sales
man. Another acted as publicity
agent for the union and a third
even got himself an office at union
headquarters.
One operative admitted his pay
was $225 a month and expenses.
The investigation is drawing
quite a crowd. On the first day
Senator Joseph F. Guffey Cd,
Pennsylvania, dropped in for a
moment and former Senator
Smith Wildman Brookhart slipped
into a seat at the press table for a
look-in.
The Washington times., 1936-09-26

man." EDWIN G. HILL
Perhaps II years is lengthler
snan than we reckon it to be. 1t
is the period which has elapsed
between Lloyd Georges signing
of the death warrant OF the Ger
nan Empire and his meeting with
the man who is tearing that death
warrant to bits.
On the June day Of 1919 that
LLOYD George, Clemenceau, WOOD.
row Wilson concluded the Treaty
of Versailles with the Germans
William Hohenzolern was saving
wood in his retreat in Holland.
There he remains today.
Adolf Hitler was an unknown,
a stray remnant of the defeated
and scattered army Of the Austrian
empire.
He was much more obscure
even than a noncommissioned Of
ficer of the Italian army who went
by the name of Benito MuSSolini.
In stature neither loomed as
large as an ant on the stage OF
world politics at the end Of that
war which was to end all wars.
RULING MOTIVE
Hitler is a product of the Yer
sailles Treaty, a product Of the
vengefulness of Clemenceau, the
idealism of Wilson and the politics
playing of Lloyd George.
Clemenceau had but one ruling
motive, the utter subjugation of
Germany. This was not unnatural
The Washington times., 1936-09-26
TOday's BOOndOggle

So extensive is the landscapng program which the WPA
carrying in the parks in the city of Pueblo that the
Federal Treasury has called spend $322 merely
enlarge the municipal greenhouse for the display and the
propagation of the plants that being used in this work
In case the WPA hasn't thought of already this depart
would like suggest that it would be nice devote
portion of this enlarged greenhouse exclusively the grow
of orchids which could be used with highly decorative
effect in the tropical bird house.
Copyright Ths New YOrks sun
The Washington times., 1936-09-26

T h ON as of
Utah, is put
ting on an ex-
pose of private
detective agen-
cies in the
caucus room Of
the Senate Of
flee B il ding
t h a t has fic-
ton at a
mile.
S e n a tor La
Follette's inveS-
tig a t RS pro-
Vided him with
q flood of rec
1rrlc which thew
The Washington times., 1936-09-26

coppery ground.
At dawn the
light com e s
G e n tly in a
thick, pale tide,
filling the val
ley. "a d v a nc
in G slowly UP
the r / d g e d,
bronze bases of
the pines. The
grass is covered
with a silvery
uze tn a t
G Ii n g S like
S / e e p. T h e
breakfast smoke
The Washington times., 1936-09-26
"NHIEFLY the mould Of mans fortune is il
~ his own hands" Francis Bacon.


~ his own hands. Francis Bacon.
Twenty-Five million people paid $11, 100000 for
admissions to race tracks in the United States last
year-they tried to mould their fortunes" on
horses pounding hoofs. Their betting plus the
far larger sum bet by people miles away from the
race track, totaled more than two billion dollars.
Hundreds of millions more dollars go abroad to
buy sweepstakes tickets on foreign races.
Some of that was "smart money" bet by in
sders who know which horse is likely to win; most
of the money was bet son hunch'' by people who
can ill afford to lose, in the hopes of making for
tune.
Instead of betting on their own ability, they bet
on horse.
Young men who spend all their rest hours, most
of their working hours and all of their savings
"playing the horses" will make poor husbands.
Occasionally, one will hit it lucky, buy win
ming ticket in a sweepstakes, make thousands of
dollars He gets big headlines, pictures in the
papers, his grinning face in newsreels. Most of
them in 10 years, will have only their newspaper
clippings and hangover.
Girls looking for husband who will support
them in comfort, give them security and lasting
love, will be wiser to pick the young man on the
LETT. Y ou tlnd them II you look long enough
The young the left is "the architect OF
his own future" Back of that lean face, those
clear gray eyes, busy brain is building, plan
ming, thinking.
Look at the young man the right; you can
tell what he's thinking about He would probably
be more fun on a party than would the serious
young man on the left-but life cannot be one
long party.
A lot of girls have learned that the young men
who are "the life of the party" can't quite stand
up when the time comes to take their girl home.
Usually some quiet young man has to attend to
that.
Dependability is rarer than the good luck that
wins sweepstakes; and ten times more to be de-
sired in a husband.
Whether you are looking for a secretary, sales
man, or husband pick the man who bets on
HIMSELF; avoid the man who bets on horses.
The Washington times., 1936-09-26
HUNTING PRESERVE

When President Roosevelt re-
turned from his non-political trip
to the drought area, he brought
back to the White House from the
dust bowl four pheasants.
The DakotaS are famous for
their beautiful pheasants. The
four brought by the President are
being kept back of the White
House near the kennels.
When the pheaSants were en-
Sconced in their coop, Bill Reeves,
White House gardener, reported
that several attaches at the White
House had heard the Bob White"
call frequently around the South
portico.
Investigation revealed that a
pair of quail had built a nest right
near where the President usually
makes his speeches. Eleven eggs
were laid. Ten Matched.
It looks like the lawn has been
turned into a hunting preserve.
Think of standing on your own
back porch and shooting quail and
pheasant if you want to.
The Washington times., 1936-09-26
TELLTALE PRINTS

There is the story that an ap-
plicant for a Civil Service job ap-
peared at the commission to take
an examination. His fingerprints
were sent over to the Justice De
partment along with a score Of
others in the routine to see if
any Of them had a record.
The one applicant did. He had
been arrested for polygamy, 1t is
recorded.
And he was applying for a job
as lighthouse keeper.
The Washington times., 1936-09-26

turquoise line against the slum-
bering sable of the woods. Only
the squawking riot OF the jays
breaks the deep silence.
Half walked, one loiters slowly
down the trail - following the
smell of coffee, frying ham and
meal.
Even at noon the earth lies in a
spell. The light has deepened to
an amber gold, but still lies pooled,
like syrup, low and still. The sky
is vanished with cobalt glaze.
The oaks have not yet turned
but, down the road, the rows OF
poplars march like candle flames.
So still is it so rapt and
pure and still one almost
thinks to hear the tinkling altar
bell,
The Washington times., 1936-09-26
BEATS FICTION

staccato-tongued and dapper,
Senator Robert La Toilette, jr.,
with the aide of Senator Elmer
The Washington times., 1936-09-26
World

Now the vines are beginning to-
blaze. The grapes drag in a
heavy. bloomy darkness on the
The Washington times., 1936-09-26
Human Side
Of the
News
Bu EdUin C.. Hill

A curious photograph, that Of
David Lloyd George and Adolph
Hitler, made at Nuremberg! It
The Washington times., 1936-09-26
BRILLIANT DAYS

The rocks are splendid-flooded
with color, now the bleaching heat
has gone-mottled with smears of
sulphur. rust and plum-pelted
The Washington times., 1936-09-26

Below you see Zane Grey, novelist, traveller,
big game fisherman, standing besides the worlds
record shark, which he caught himself. He de-
scribes it: "My worlds record shark, caught at
The Washington times., 1936-09-26
WELCOME

Unsolicited campaign contribu-
tions are always welcome as for
that matter are the ones that are
solicited.
An unknown sent Representa-
tive Caroline O'Day $5 recently
for use in her campaign with the
hope that she would return to
Congress next session.
It came to her office in Wash
ington and rushed posthast0 to
her New York headquarters.
The Washington times., 1936-09-26

seems such a
short time since
the E n i S r.
Prime Minister,
in the Palace
of Vers allies,
W a S engineer
ing the treaty
by the terms
of which Ger
many would be
PROSTATE for a
century and by
which her fugi-
tive Emperor
would hang as
high as Ha-
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1936-07-16


He Shrugs his shoulders that speak
volumes. Then sinks down on the
bench overcome by the futility of
1t all. He becomes as silent as
he had been lOqua cious.
Bartell is not a superstitious
lad. He knows that a bat is of
considerable more assistance than
a rabbits foot when you are up
there cutting for base hits. So he
grins at this notion that-merely be-
cause he tossed practice balls to
a teammate on the afternoon when
he emerged from a woeful slump
he must continue tossing practice
balls to that teammate every after
noon. Being moderns the other
Giants also grin.
The first game starts. Magicians
pop up from nowhere to snare hard
hit line drives. The Giants lose that
one. The second game starts. A
sturdy little fellow continues to slap
line drives that should be good for
extra bases. They continue to be
caught. The Giants lose that one.
When old man Luque comes down
the clubhouse steps the next after
noon a blond little fellow is waiting
there, ball and glove in hand.
''Hey, Adolf, CATCH" he calls.
"I've been waiting here 10 minutes.
How do you expect me to get
warmed"
That afternoon Dick Barten gets
his base hit and the Giants win.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1936-07-16

NCl1LhC CAlASA 4AO4I-
gan, all of whom will hang up their
shoes after the Berlin finale
Billy Mccartney, the celebrated
fight manager, changes to a differ
ent colored bow tie three times
day Casey Stengel slapped the
first home run ever achieved at
Ebbets Field. That was during an
exhibition game with the Yam
KEGS, who had Hal Chase at Sec
ond base and Frank Chance at
first, in the spring of 1913.
If you wish to believe the rumor-
mongers, the Dodgers have been
sold to Cap Huston for delivery
in the fall Also local group
of celebrated citizens are deter
mined to form a stock company
and purchase the Giants :.
Those fight weighing-in pictures
you see so often in the papers are
never the Mccoy. That is because
the boys must doff their panties
for the real scales test.
Cornell will beat several good
football teams this fall, but the
Big Red eleven will not be quite
as nifty as the experts have been
suggesting. The athletes are very
young and will need a season or
two to become accustomed to the
big-time grind The Giants
have the smallest representation of
any major league club in the Asso-
citation of Professional Ballplayers,
for unfortunate old-timers. Yet the
dues are only $40 a year.
Ed Kelleher, who did a very
good basketball coaching job at
FOrdham, now is being tOuted to
succeed Buck Freeman at st.
Johns, where he was head man
Is years ago Joe Reddy, who
won the quarter at the first reju-
venation of the Olympic Games at
Paris in 1892, returned to Prince
ton this spring for the forty-fifth
reunion of his class. He was one
of the men who had an audience
with the King of Greece, which re-
suited in the first official renewal
of the Games at Athens in 1892.
frankie Frisch holds the short
est clubhouse meetings of any
manager. They usually last just
one-half minute fat-or just long
enough for frankie to yelp, go
out and beat those buns"
The JUNE Freys have ordered
small Frey Mike Jacobs did
the best of his many good jobs in
handling the crowd at the Stadi-
urn the other night.
Jack Salveson, White Sox castoff,
has been going great guns with
Los Angeles and is regarded the
ace of the pitching staff He
also has been batting well and fire.
quently is used as pinch hitter
L. probably will be long
time before Southern California
and Ohio State meet again on the
track The Tr0jans claim
they had a definite understanding
before their recent meet with the
Buckeyes that three places would
count instead of one If this
system had been followed they
would have won, 80 to so, instead
of tying, LIZ to . IL.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1936-07-16
Epigrams From
Pen of Mark Twain

There are people who can do all
fine and heroic things but one
keep from telling their happiness
to the unhappy.
Spending ones capital is feed
ing a dog on his own tail.
A man should not be without
morals-it is better to have bad
morals than none at all.
If you tell the truth you don't
have to remember anything.
The recurrent dream-mine is
appearing before a lecture audi
ence in my shirt-tail, most dis
agreeable dream.-From mark
Twain's Notebook" edited by Al
bert Bigelow Paine. (Harper &
Brothers).
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1936-07-16


yelp.
'All of a sudden the guy on the
next table bOunces up SOS they've
got to stop operations on him. Then
he starts shaking his fist in my
face.
Say you,' he says to me. You
know what I'm in here for. Well
somebody bounced bottle off my
conk and I've been stretched out
here for almost an hour while
they've been digging glassware
outta my dandruff. That's what
they've been doing. Here 1 was
out for bit of fun and wasn't
harming nobody an The guy
leans over as if he's gonna take
a belt outta me.
an yOu,' he says. Getting
hit is your racket, amt it. An
you got paid 10 G's for tonight,
didn't you? Well, then, what right've
you got to squawk?'
1t is almost time for a double
header to start. AdolfO Luque
stands in front of the Giants
dugOut shaking an excited finger
at Dick Bartell.
"You oughta done it," he says.
"You-."
"Yeah," says the shortstop. "But
! didn't have time. 1 was"
cit makes no difference" the
veteran coach abandons such fee
BILE medium as long finger and
spreads both arms in eloquent ges-
ture. "HOw we gonna win. How
we"
''Well, I got warmed up anyhow,
didn't II" Bartel's life is built on
the theory that good attack is the
best defense. So he plainly is out
of his element now. Nevertheless
he tries gamely to cover up.
"You warm up! HUH" Luque
sputters feebly with the English