The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1936-10-06
THE VOICE OF
BY Louis SoboI
Diary Of a CoIyumist's
Pup!

and kids him: whats your ache
today, Angel-Face?" which is al
ways a laff to me when 1 get
load Of that ingrown pan of his.
He says 20 this letter from Marc
says Rian James is over at the
Paramount now at Is hundred
week and Wald just signed up for
a thousarA week and Gil
GabrielS gonna knock out Is
thouSand-25 thousand just for
doing a treatment on the life Of
Victor Herbert-and look at Hell
linger-close to a hundred thou
sand for just four stories for Fan
uck." well" she interrupts,
what's wrong with that? You
don't begrudge it to them, do
you?" He gulps his orange juice
and then explodes, you know
damn well I don't begrudge no
body but what have they got that
I amt got?" SO she giggles again
and says: Your temper and your
laziness. They work hard and you
loaf around town all night"
Well, he hits the ceiling at that,
which is always funny; he looks
so comical when he's mad, and
he says II don't see where you
got any kick coming. 1 haven't
ever been able to get a new suit
just paying off bills for your
things" and she says, We'll, Of
course, If you want to see me run
ming around naked, that's up to
you. but what would your friends
-ay?" He growls, What friends?"
He keeps muttering after that
and then goes off to the office
and everything'S quiet and
swell in the house. Along
around s or in the morning
he comes stumbling in, waking
everybody up and I figure, Uh,
uh, King Baldy'S been hitting
the brandy jug again-yOu can
always tell the way he slams
that door shut after him. The
Queen wakes up and yellS from
the bedroom: "Well, what's your
story tonight, coming in with
the sun coming up?" He says,
1--WE been watching a dress re-
hearsal of the Hollywood show.
They got some swell costumes"
and she says, II could use a
costume or two myself. l
haven't got a rag to my back?"
He says, Cant a fellow come
home after working all night
without being always nagged?"
/ give him a bark and he yellS,
why don't you keep that mutt
out on the porch where he won't
be waking everybody up?" The
Queen giggleS and he slams the
icebOx door hard and / hear
him exploding that he's going to
move to a hotel where he can
be by himself and not always
have to be explaining.
sATURDAY-The Big Shot is a
little mellow at breakfast. He
says: did you read that piece |
about Fitzgerald-you know, F.
Scott Fitzgerald, the writer?
About how he finds himself all
through on his 40th birthday? Al
most like what I said the day I
was 40. And Leslie Howard going
to quit juvenile lover roles because
he's Al. I had the right dope
when you're 40 you ought to quit"
The Queen says, you've been
quitting ever since I knew YOU
I thought you were going to stay
home last night and work some
more on the play? He says How
can I work on the play when I
gotta get out and rustic stuff for
the column. God knows there's no
news around anywhere. She says
The other boys seems to do all
right" and he says There you go
everybody else is always better
than the guy who feeds you-yes
and clothes you. Well, you know
what was thinking? I would do
a piece about how silly it is for
anybody to quit just because you
tear a page off calendar.
1 know a guy-a swell news
paper man-he'S out of a job
and he's 20; he has a wife and 3
kidS-and not a nickel So he
makes up his mind he's through
and he's going to take the river
route the next day unless some
thing turns up. Well, the next
day is beautiful-the sun is out,
the skies are blue and clear
and it's just beautiful. Sc he
figures this is too nice a day to
kill himSelf-he'H wait. And
few days later ne gets break"
what happened to him." she
asks. He says, 80, he's AZ or 43
now and one of the biggest edit
OrS in New York today-yOu
ought to know who 1 mean"
She says you're home nOw-at
breakfast-why do you have to
pull that mystery stuff with me?
you can tell me his name"
He says, 81 can't because it's in
confidence" Well, she gets mad
and yells, my God, can you
imagine that?-he acts the col
umniSt with his own wife! It's
enough to drive you crazy"
MONDAY - They're arguing
about Richman and Merrill at the
table. The lady thinks it was cute