The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1936-01-09
Squaring
The Circle
With
McCREADY HUSTON
McCREADY HUSTON
nNE reaet about the passing OF

a substitute is found-cut short sorae
very able work at Purdue. When
the time came to help the Indiana
farmer under the provisions of the
act the agricultural experts at the
university went into action. While
it may be impossible under any new
Federal or state set-up to keep up
the payments to the farmer, we sin
cerely hope that some of the bene-
fits from Purdue's service will be
salvaged.
I thought Of this when consum-
ing very excellent dish of pigs
knuckles and sauer kraut. This
product of the farm I esteem high
ly and I would not want anything
to interfere with its steady arrival
at the market.
Over the pigs knuckles we got to
talking about two other delicacies
which seem to have disappeared
from the American scene-one be-
ing jowl and the other backbone
1t is time to revive backbone.
lust in case anybody stops you on
~ the street and asks, you should
have ready the following informa-
ton: The U. S. S. indianapolis has
ships newspaper called 1.-THE
Hoosier." The vessel carries more
than TOO men and requires for a
weeks mess 700 dozen eggs, 1900
pounds of beef, $50 pounds of cof-
fee and 1860 pounds of sugar. In
command is Capt. w. S. McClintic.
The edition of THE Hoosier" at
hand regrets that the ships bas-
ketball team is not doing we'll That
should be corrected at once. Since
Indianapolis is the basketball cap
ital of the United States a ship
bearing it's name should have the
championship of the fleet.
MIR. AND MRS. JOHN A. ST.
Iva CLAIR of indianapolis recent
ly came on a document dated Nov
%, 1898, bearing the signature of
President John Adams. 1t is a
ma jor's commission, issued to one
Adam Hoops, a Revolutionary SOL
der, giving him an appointment in
the Army after the war. Such a
find, reminding us, Of the dura-
bility of the nation, is reassuring
coming the week when the Supreme
Court scared the people out of their
wits.
IRON 1.-THE Hoosier Farmer I
L gently lift the following piece
of humor which, unfortunately, is
not credited to it's author. Whoever
wrote the piece has a genuine tall
ent for fun in print.
On the Cow
TINE COW is a female quadruped
- with an alto voice and
countenance in which there is no
guile. Shee collaborates with the
pump in the production of liquid
called milk, provides the filler for
hash, and at last is skinned by
those she has benefited. as NOR
tails commonly are.
The young COW is called calf,
and is used in the manufacture
of chicken salad.
The cows tail is mounted aft
and has universal joint. 1t is
used to disturb marauding flies,
and the tassel on the end has
unique educational value. Persons
who milk cows and come often in
contact with the tassel have
vocabularies of peculiar and i'm
pressive force.
The COW has two stomachs. The
one on the ground floor is used as
a warehouse and has no other
function. When this one is filled
the COW retires to quiet place
where her i'll manners will &C.
casion no comment and devotes
herself to belching The raw ma
terial thus conveyed for the sec
ond time to the interior of her
face is pulverized and delivered to
the auxiliary stomach, where it is
converted into"cow.
The COW has no upper plate. All
of her teeth are parked in the
lower part of her face. This ar
rangement was perfected by an
efficiency expert to keep her from
cumming things up. AS result,
she bites up and gums down.