The Washington times., 1936-12-28
TODAY
Germany Eats Elephants.
The Pneumogastric Nerve
in Danger.
GOtt Strafe Amerika.
|. W. W. Foolishness.
|. W. W. FoOIishness.

This is the first DAY of the
fourth YEAR Of the war.
We do not pretend to say
who started it. But whoever
he is, we hope that he will lose
his German empire, and be
made to realize that the Hohen-
zollerns as a dynasty ruling
other men by Divine right and
prattling about ME and Gott"
have come to an end.
Will the war authorities think
about giving soldiers for sum-
mer use coats open or loose at
the neck? Today's coats keep
the neck in a wise, prevent the
flow of blood to the brain, put
pressure on the pneumogastric
nerve, which runs to the brain
protected by a great blood
vessel, and ought to be protect
ed against all pressure. Isn't
1t possible to be military, dis
ciplined and fierce looking
without having the pneumo-
gastic nerve squeezed?
Buy a calf" That is the new
: cry. Restaurant owners have
agreed to buy 10000 calves and
raise them.
. Will lap-dog owners also agree
to buy calf and raise it in place
Of the lap dog?
A calf can't sit in your lap,
but otherwise it is about as good
as q lap dog, and has the addi-
tional advantage of being good
to eat. What a world this would
be If foolishness that spends
money on pet dogs, would do
something real and raise calves.
Just imagine 100000 dogs
changed two years from now into
100000 full-grown oxen-what
. a blow to the high cost Of living.
"Ours will be the victory
Kaiser.
(, The tone is modified, however.
It is no longer, I'm Paris in five
days." and, as far as we know,
+ the crown prince has made no
appointment with his friends to
dine at the New Willard in the
room usually arranged for Sena-
/. tor j. H. Lewis.
Germany is spending 750 mil
I lion dollars month on the war.
! There the shoe pinches.
One of our wisest friends who
owns factories in Germany says,
{ IF a real PrusSian loses one of
his relatives, he feels very badly.
If he loses his money he goes to
!, bed sick"
I Prussia is going to bed VERY
SICK before long.
;. An I. w. w. leader is taken
! from his bed and lynched.
: This unpleasant news is called
. to the attention of Mr.. Big
Bill Haywood. big Bill' has
. been announcing his intention
to call two hundred and fifty
thousand men away from work
in the harvest fields. It is fair
to tell him that If he should
halfway carry out this threat,
he probably would not be big
Bill" very long.
He and his fellows have some
annoying surprises coming to
them, if they are under the i'm
preston that the United States
at war with Germany will toll
crate any foolishness from
drunken vagabonds, playing on
Z irresponsible ignorant followers
at this time.
! We read that Germany has
! determined to destroy America,
: and also read that the German
people "are eating elephants
= from the zoo." That's good
:, practice, if they mean to swal-
low Uncle Sam. They are going
Z to eat the lions and tigers next
(. saving the monkeys until the
very last.
F. P. A. can make a joke
about that.
Canada buys the Canadian
Northern SyStem-for a govern
, ment railroad. If this country
continues on a basis of private
ownership of railroads, with pri-
!. vate graft and private incom-
potency, while our neighbor in
. the north establishes govern
; ment ownership, and while our
neighbors in Europe have goY-
ernment control of everything,
the United States will know how
the little boy felt when he got
his finger pinched in the door.
If this country'S railroads and
other great monopoliStic institu-
tions continue to be managed
( for the benefit Of private stock
!. holders, it will not long compete
successfully with nations whose
Z national monopolies are owned
Z and managed for the people.
/. Herr Haase, speaking for the
! minority Socialists, namely the
! REAL socialists, says that Ger
many is bleeding to death,
which is true. He might add
starving to death"
He says the masses begin to
believe that monarchy is a fail
ure. Bright masses. No wonder
I the Socialist Congressman Vic
tor Berger used sometimes to
write 1.-THE maSses-them asses. "
Same letters-hut a mora dis.