Henderson daily dispatch., 1936-09-23

And today we quote from one more
letter in The Average Man contest,
that of Clyde j. Crumpley Barracks
T. Mountain Home, Tenn, who has
rather pessimistic opinion Of the
hero of the politicians and statisti-
clans:
THE Average Man, according to his
own ideas, has a profound knowledge
of any subject which happens to be
dragged out for an airing. He will
shake his head in pity for anyone
who is SO ignorant as to disagree
with him. He will solemnly assure
you that he can't be wrong, especially
as to the greatest of all mysteries.
The question of life beyond the grave.
the creation of the universe, the orr
gin of life, and the power that governs
them.
He usually labels as bunk the
sayings of the great philosophers, the
findings of the great scientists. Yet
with all his assurances that he can't
be wrong his life is full of mistakes
He can't see two moves ahead in a
checker game, he is trimmed by
card sharps, buys gold bricks, fake
oil stock, bets on the wrong horse.
and is a perfect sucker for any wo-
man who cares to go after him. He
is very superstitious, he is afraid to
walk under a ladder, or to have two
clocks in one room, it gives him a
bad case of the filters to break a
mirror, and for a black cat to cross
his path leaves him on the verge of
nervous breakdown.
TO offset these things, and num-
erouS others, he carries a rabbits
foot in his pocket. His politics and
religion are inherited, he has only
vague ideas as to the difference be-
tween the political parties, and is
just as dumb regarding his religious
affiliations, but is sure he is right
and you are wrong He insists on
telling you how to run your business,
unmindful of the fact that you are
closely observing the perfect mess
he has made of his own affairs he
is not capable of serious thinking and
usually manages to pattern after
some boob who is as dumb as him
self
HE makes a great noise around
election time, unmindful of the fact
that the politicians are merely using
him as catspaw to pull the chest
nuts out of the fire. He is usually
very religious during revival meet
lngs, letting loose with some lusty
amens, but hardly before the last
hallelujah has died away he sallies
forth and does his best to trim his
nelghbor in a horse trade He re-
fers to other peoples children as
'brats' while he bores the neighbors
almost to tears with his continued
sounding off about the brilliant in
tellect of his own offsprings, refer
ring to them as Chips off the old
block This, by the way, is about
the only thing that everyone agrees
with him on, that they are Just that
very thing, Chips off the old block
He will devoutly assure you that
ne is willing, yea, even delighted, to
bear any and all Affections, saying
it is the will of a higher power, and
! in the next breath he will unburden
himself of string of oaths, that
doubtless causes the devils face to
be wreathed in smiles, and which
any sailor would envy over anything
from mosquito bite to a broken leg.
He thinks himself a lion with the
women, and loves to boast of his con-
quests of the fair sex.
And while he won't admit if he
has a sneaking opinion that he is a
handsome 'cuss' and thinks himself
the last word in perfection, and up to
the minute 1886 model