The Waterbury Democrat., 1936-10-14
WOMAN,S REALM
 Your Children
By Olive Roberts Barton

Having written about the virtue of children being able to make up their own minds, here am, writing about ir again. But this time, am asking parents to take stock of their own reactions when the child does make up his mind to do something What generally happens2
 Suppose Jimmy announces that he has decided to go with Bill to the movies instead of doing his compo- sition for Friday. It is now Tuesday and Jimmy has two more days to get it done.
 Try to Take Boys View
 Now, from the angle of work first and pleasure afterward, the whole thing seems simple. You say inc stantly that he must get right at his composition. He can go to the movies instead of doing his compost ton for Friday. It is now Tuesday and Jimmy has two more days to get it done.
 Try to Take Boys View 1 Now, from the angle of work first and pleasure afterward, the whole thing seems simple. You say in- stantly that he must get right at his composition. He can go to the movie on Thursday. Or, if he is extra -industrious, tomorrow. But suppose we look at the boys reasons. He was kept in for spelling. He came home and went on two errands. Then he ate his supper and did his arithmetic. Now he is so tired that he feels he can't touch a pencil again. Besides, this is a special movie. You, yourself, said that it was excellent for the boys to see, what with all the news reel review of the past decade and all
 Jimmy is not analyzing his req sons, but you are. You think he is hedging. It is the first thing almost any parent thinks. And, quite frequently, they are right. But it happens that Jimmy is a conscientious chap, and may be depended on, as a rule, to do what he says. However, your worry must be met. So you say, T wouldn't do that. would get the composition written first" If you didn't say that you would be most unusual.
 You are right - but so is Jim- my. He has to get something out of his system, just as you feel that you have to read the paper. or listen to the radio before you do the dishes.
 Suppose 1t is not pleasure, but 8 little matter of dressing that Jimmy has made up his mind about. He comes down with a red tie, and a pink shirt. He has decided that is what he likes for the moment. Your sense of taste is offended, and you say. "For goodness sakes, go and get your brown tiel"
 No Chance to Decide
 Right again. The parent usu- ally is. But when and where. I ask you, is the child to assert his decisions and make up his own mind? Almost always his pref erences will conflict with yours. After 8 while he begins to doubt his judgment. Or is so cer- tain of contradiction that he asks first what he'd better do.
 And later, a certain habit is generated in the parent, also. So sure the child lacks wisdom of choice, she begins automatically to veto the vote.
 This is called negativism, al- though there is more behind the word than that. The naturally in hibited person extends these re- strictions to others. In order not to rob the child of his occasional decisions, it pays, think, to let him make mistakes rather than lose the will Of making up his mind. There are so many unim- portant things in which we med dle. Some day we may wonder why Jimmy is always on a fence or waiting for something to turn up. Copyright 1936, NEA Service, Incl