Evening star., 1936-08-17
TNSTALIMENT X.

TO Tree nerSeu. one IWSIcu |
her body around and threw herself
down, with her face buried in her |
arms. Her shoulders were hunched
tensely, but she made no sound.
III beg your pardon" Deeds said |
quietly, "but I won't say I'm sorry, |
Joan. I'm not" He made no move |
to touch her. After long silence, he
leaned over her.
Joan -
She relaxed, raised herself into a
sitting position and pushed her hair
out of her eyes with a weary gesture:
Her co!orless lips twisted into the
semblance of smile.
Sorry went gaga on you, Mac.
Didn't mean to-"
DO you feel up to talking -. just
O httle?" he asked grimly.
"Yes."
"Then l guess we better had.
told YOU I wasn't sorry for that.
1t was going to happen sooner or
later. I love you"
oh"
There was an outburst of surprise
or anger in the small word. Joan
betrayed no confusion, nothing be-
yond a trace Of bewilderment In h'-
face. Her brown eyes were nxed
steadily upon Deeds, as though sne
were attempting to read what lay
behind them. When he spoke again.
1t was in quiet matter of fact tone.
You're thinking up several things
to tell me. One is that I'm out OF
nv head because I've known you
only a week. That isn't SO. I've
known you always and l cant prove
it, Some day, I will"
Joan shook her head slowly, her
eyes stu held by his.
But I will, tell you. And I sup
pose YOU think I'm little on balance
on account of what happened
out there" He jerked his head at
the sea. MAYBE l am. just for lew
minutes, 1 didn't know what mlght
happen. It's funny but 1 didn't
care much. ] was with you, and thaI
was all that mattered. 1t was the
place I had been looking zor all
my life"
Please -
why not. Joan? It's true. I don't
mean that expect you TO feel that
way about me. Maybe you never caH
I'm not asking you for anything
I'm only telling you. 1 thought was
sure before. Now, know. It's going
10 be like that"
AS he finished speaking, Joan
turned away and stared at tie tumo-
ling water. When she spoke, it was
with A visible effort, although ner
voice was steady.
- ought to be sorry you said that
Mac. And I'm not. You be-
lieve what you just told ne. ! know
you do"
Naturally. It's true"
1T couldn't be, Mac. No :.
wait. Perhaps / don't understand
much about It, But / can't be-
lieve that love e. the real low that
lasts cor1es that way. 1t can't.
I'D have said the same thing a
week ago" Deeds remarked cheer
fully. II know better nov, and can't
help hoping Joan, I said l
wasn't asking for anything But
there's one thing wish you would tell
me. If you can"
III try"
When we we're starting in =.
were you sure we were going 70
land?"
mo. was losing my nerve pretty
fast when you came"
II don't know how TO say it
7 guess it's the limit in nerve but
I'm wondering If you were glad 1 was
there on account of 1t being me
or If you'd rather oh, you
know what I'm getting st. DID IL
make cny difference, Joan?"
Yes" was the unhesitahng answer
81 was glad it was yod
Then, don't you see?"
Josn's chin came up resolutely.
She shook her head.
Mac, we got out all right. You
did 1t. I'll never forget anytnlng'
OF course, I won't. But now
we've got to face things as tney are.
1t has to be that way"
And how are things? Go ahead.
can take it"
well they can't be the way you
want them, Mac. Ever. I have to
teIl YOU that >. Tn sorry.
Deeds picked up handful OF SAND
and let the grains escape in tiny
stream, watching it as though 1t
were an hour-glass. He lifted his
emptied hand in little gesture OF
finality.
"Okay. / suppose shouldn't ask
II there's some one else.'
There was q wistful light in Joan's
ewes. but the man did not see 1t.
NO" she said gently, you shouldn't
ask. But I'm going to tell you. The
wav you mean, Mac there's no one.
don't think there ever will be-" The
last words were little more than a
whisper.
Joan, dear. Then don't you see?
Don't you -"
mo, no. 1 shouldn't have said that.
1t dosen't change anything. You must
believe me, Mac. You must. If you
only knew
"I know only one thing"
"How badly need you as friend"
Joan continued, unheedingly. Il hope
you will be-"
Don't be silly" Deeds admonished,
gruf1y. You're stuck with me
but don't worry. I'll stay in my place.
But I'll be more than a friend /.
ever If have to play solitaire. I'm
sorry, but can't help 1t. Just one
of those things, I guess"
Joans hand came out and rested
lightly on his clenched fist, half bur-
led in the sand.
Thank you, Mac for every
thing. And think we'd better start
back to the house. It's all right,
isn't it?"
Sure. Everything's all right"
Joan turned her head quickly, not
daring to let Deeds see her eyes. She
scrambled to her feet and tried to
laugh as she experimented with her
arms and legs.
serIIlna cir, In lnnnlu ., she rannarked