The Waterbury Democrat., 1936-02-13
WOMAN,S REALM
HABAs1e
 Your Children
By Olive Roberts Barton

When Q boy won't go out and mix with the gang, his par- ents begin to worry and fuss. But when a girl turns pussy-cat and becomes Q regular Polly-Sit-by- the-Fire, no one ever bothers about it.
 It isn't Q good tning for grow ing girls to turn recluse. They are far better of for having con- genial friends with the same in- terests. A mixture is good, be- cause 1t is afarmend to by those who have gone into the matter deeply that attitudes of both sexes are improved in future relationships if first approached in the group that skates, or sled-rides or pie nics together, or even snow-balls, purloins hats or Splashes mud. The roughage of the group is good for the soul, as well as its cour- tesy and sportsmanship and loy- alties.
 But barring che boys, because 1t is not every girl who takes kind- ly to the mixed crowd, she needs company. It isn't good for her to turn in on herselfa nd settle down to her parents routine alone.
 Age and Size Create Barriers
 Once in awhile I get letters from mothers who realize this and ask for advice. As there are so many possible reasons for the detached" child, I think 1t best to list some of them. Then other mothers may be able to decide where the trouble lies, if they too, have one who prefers her own company.
 Sometimes 1t happens that Bes- sie-let use call her-is younger than her schoolmates. Younger, too, than her close neighbors. If so, she will not be welcomed by the rest. If she has been kept back by removal or illness, her place in school may be @ torture to her. She will make no effort at friendliness herself, feeling sensitive as she does about the discrepancy.
 Sometimes size counts too. If she has grown faster than the rest, she may think they do not want her. Or if she has a more- mature nature, even though Of equal age, she may be inclined to spurn the friendship of "those babies" as she calls them
 Perhaps the family has ambi- tions to live in newer and bet- ter neighborhood. The local chil- dren may unbend and welcome her, but this has to be fifty-fifty business, and Bessie will have to 20 half way. If she feels mis- fit in her new surroundings, she won't make the effort. Then all is lost.
 The same is true of the school. The one she attends may not lay much stress on democracy. Ii Bessie feels that she is unequal to holding her own in this rare atmosphere, again she will Tall to make social contacts. She will be "in" the school but not "of" 1t. While 1t is natural for parents to want to improve their childrens chances for the future, to put the onus on them alone is just Q bit cruel sometimes.
 Third, perhaps Elizabeth is ono of life's natural "escapers," ana prefers to live vicariously through books, sleep, movies and such. If this is the case, has any attempt been made to get her interested in something that will undermine her inertia; and show her that real experience is far more enjoy able than dreams? Perhaps she has acquired the liking because her parents veto everything nor nal on the grounds that ladies shoi,ld stay at home and be good little girls" So often this re- suits in friendlessness. Everys one shouldh have some friend.
 (Copyright 1886, NEA Service Incl