The Washington times., 1936-10-12

r,i+t, r,hich a. Admiral STANDBY
miral William H. Standby pinch
hit as Secretary of the Navy
while Mr.. Swanson was i'll.
Admiral Standby did a fine
job of bossing the admirals who
had been his classmates at the
academy. And that isn't all, the
admirals like it.
Continuing nautically, the Navy
ought to get pacifist press agent
to play up its peacetime activities.
Seems to us there's too much
emphasis on the fighting sea
dog" motif. And a general forget
fulneSs of the Nays sweet work
a-day heart.
Publicity something like this
would be helpful:
"WarShipS save lives cheer
fully and efficiently while for
eign nations place innocent citi-
Zenry in danger"
Perfectly true, every word of it.
At the beginning of the present
Spanish revolution, while funda'
mentaliSts and insurgents shot
each other down, American war
ships carried stranded Americans
to a less patriotic environment.
When Rear Adml. Mark Bristol
was stationed at Constantinople,
the American fleet there aided the
White Russian refugees fleeing be-
fore the Soviet revolutioniSts.
Carrying flood and earthquake
sufferers to dry, stable land is an
other task which the Navy losses
off with one hand and guns spiked.
Hurrah for Navy!
An exciting-looking booklet ar
rived in the morning mail.
At last, we thought, Let Them
Eat Caviar" and the promised
revelations of Washington life!
Wrong again! twas Harry Hop
kins' epic-"Spending to Save"
Women who succeed in reducing
to a new slimness forget that
meanwhile they're wearing the
same old face.
THE result of such forgetful-
ness" writes a complaining gen.
tleman who signs himself, Wealth
err Beaten sis that most of the
faces you see on women over 40
look like they have worn out half
a dozen bodies.
1T personally like plump WON
en-" adds Weather Beaten. They
have dimples and bright eyes. And
they laugh a lot. But be you slim
or die females-youre bag
gard. Your tongue has an edge
and your skin is salloW and you
are mighty poor company and
none too easy to look at"
A most discouraging letter! Just
when we were enjoying the news
that Princess Juliana of Holland
has found her waist line again.
A Cleveland gentleman. an eye
specialist personal vision per
fect), has declared that Princess
pounds and "lookS lovely"
Her mother, Queen Wilhemina
who weighs about IS pounds more
than Juliana, takes cream in her
coffee.
From Salt Lake City comes the
information that Thanksgiving
turkeys are also reducing. The
1886 turkey will be thinner than
during any year since the landing
of the Pilgrims. Pay this news nc
mind.
It's probably just Republican
campaign propaganda. A Svelte
turkey for a small market basket
Vote for Landon-and eat more
stuffing. Something like that.
"sure am glad it's a nice day
today" said the driver before the
taxi door was Monday is
the best taxi day in the week
Why is that? Well, there's rea.
sons for it. Lolita women shop
"on Saturdays and by the time
they've looked their bargains over
on Sunday, they're ready to take
'em back first thing Monday.
That makes fares.
so do the women whove rot
tired of staying with their family
on Sundays. They hurry out as
soon as their husbands shut the
front door behind them on Mon.
days.
Then there's the WON n
who've cooked up a lot of food on
Saturdays and plan to eat up left.
overs on Monday. They beat it to
the movies bright and early.
"Ma'am? What didja say? Taxi
drivers learn lot I'll say they
do. People talk their private at
fairs on that back seat there, like
we was part of the machinery. II
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