The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1936-01-02

OorCner mas told hunting story on
Noah Lichty, a neighbor, which rivals
the hunting episode of Scoop several
weeks ago.
He said Noah went out to look for
sheep and took his gun along just for
fun or business, he didn't know which,
He hadn't gone very far before he
came across a grounding just going
into his burrow. While waiting for
Herr Grounding to come out again,
he looked up into the tree nearby and
saw squirrel sitting there staring at
him. Biding his time he next saw three
ducks swimming toward him on a
nearby stream. This time the tempta-
ton was too great and he fired, killing
all three. In a minute or two three
brothers of said ducks came in sight,
evidently wondering what had become
of their sisters. So he fired again and
again the three fell.
So Noah just forgot about his sheep,
squirrel and grounding and called it
a day.
Dear Scoop
A friend of mine in New England
has a neighbor who has received a
Government check for 1000 dollars
this year for not raising hogs. So my
friend now wants to go into the bus
ines himself, he not being very pros
porous just now; he says, in fact, that
the idea of not breeding hogs appeals
to him very strongly.
Of course, he will need hired man,
and that is where I come in. write
to you as to your opinion of the best
kind of farm not to raise hogs on, the
best strain of hogs not to raise, and
how best to keep an inventory of hogs
you are not raising. Also, do you think
capital could be raised by issuance of a
non-hog-raising gold bond?
The friend who got the 1000 dollars
got it for not raising 500 hogs. Now
we figure we might easily not raise
$500 or 1000 hogs, so you see the pos
sible profits are only limited by the
number of hogs we do not raise.
The other fellow had been raising
hogs for forty years and never made
more than 400 dollars in any one year.
Kind of pathetic, isn't it, to think how
he wasted his life raising hogs when
he could have made so much more by
not raising them?
/ will thank you for any advice you
may offer.
DR.. Juniper Socrates
All-round vegetable and grain doctor.
Ny advice on this hog question is
certain to be censored by the boss ed
itor, so any attempt at it is worse than
useless.
Yes, We Have No Potato Today
What I want
Said a customer
In cafe on snappy
Appetite-making fall
Day in 1885
Is an order of pork chops
And country fried potatoes
And the girl who was
waiting tables said
I'm sorry, sir,
But we served our weekly
Potato quota yesterday
Using the three that
Mr.. Wallace let US have
for this week
So we're clean out
And both the pork chops that
We'd had locked up in
Safety deposit box
Were eaten yesterday
By big spender from
Washington who was here
Checking up on this
WPA work and who
Could afford to
Pay ninety-four cents
Apiece for them and
Tip me, too.
For awhile, she said
We had pretty good
Potato bootlegger, farmer
Who kept us supplied
But fourteen government
Omen rounded him up
Last week and judge
Gave him thirty-seven years
In Jail
And the boss of this place
Was fined seven hundred
And sixty-seven dollars
For buying spuds
That didn't have stamps
With Henry Wallace's face
All over 'em
And they darned near scared
Me to death too