The Waterbury Democrat. [volume] (Waterbury, Conn.) 1917-1946, 1936-12-01

eSted railroads with the cOmmenu-
able desire to increase their pas
senger traffic, and Lady Aston Of
the expatriated American Astors
is honoring the continent Of North
America with her presence. And,
as usual, is talking mile q min
ute about nothing. Since part OF
today,s comment Is to be devoted
TO Lady Aston, the gift Of America
to the British Empire, 1t should
be known l. advance that Lady
Astor is no relation to Mary Aston,
that sweet little wife AND
MOTHER who got herself into
Jam out in Hollywood some
months ago fighting for the Gus
tody of HER CHILD AND FOR
THE PRESERVATION OF HER
GOOD NAME. Nancy Aston is,
as everyone who knows anything
knows, belon.; to the Langhornes
of Virginia while poor little Mary
sprung from the tribe OF Huga-
Teller or Fellahugger or some such
Teutonic line. So Just to give
Mary a break, let's not get her
mixed up with the Member OF
Parliamen. who Is known as Your
Nancy" over in England and
''Their Nan :" here In the be-
niehte States" With the fore
going out o. the way we may as
the COOKBOOK has 1t, now return TO
our muttons. Or, as we say IN
dear old Mayfair, let us return to
our capers because capers WITH
out mutton Is like mutton without
capers. Which observation Tor q
bally ass like myself Is, on this
somewhat parky morning, rather
good. What?
nj. r..
Lady Astor is member OF the
House Of Parliament, and M. r.
Again in the interest Of clarity, u
must be told that M. P. has moth
ing at all to do with the motion
pictures or, as the lovable old
beans sprouting about the cher
ished old Savoy bar have 1t, the
cinema-with the accent on the
ultimate syllable, thank you. An
n. >. is the representative IN tne
Commons Of constituency local.
ed any place in His Imperial Ma
iestv's domains. Quite unlike
vour American system. II you
don't mind my saying so. ana
quite superior. Oh quite! You
see in the uncivilized portions OF
the globe, which means every
blooming spot outside England.
leoisIatiye official represents tne
hlinkin' area where he resides: IL
isn't SO at home. Not at all. the
M p. for Stenchington- on-tne-
Whit m.y in reality have ms
digginas in wilmington on-tne-
stencil. Which has its advantages,
definitely. Because, you see, II an
M p. doesn't live in the place ne
represents, the people where ne
lives can't find fault with the way
he represents a lot OF nlignters
some other place. It's a bit IN.
volved but it turned out very wen
In the past because, you see. an
Enolishrnan could always stand !or
a district in Ireland or IN the MD
lie Of Australia or IN the WIGS o.
Saskatchewan while all the Time
he kent his toys in the south OF
EnoIand You've no Idea how
well it worked particularly about
ireland. The Irish were Always
kicking up row wanting Tree,
dom and all that sort OF ROT ana
some Britisher who had their pest
interests at heart simply had 70
represent them IN parhaa'ei''
Absolutely!
Nancy and Tom.
It is not important what part
of the kings realm Lady Astor
stands for. 1t may be Little
Whatfor = on the Gun Herts,
sounds-by-the Squiff. Bucks, or
Blather-by the Hour. Hants. NOE
is more than a matter OF IDLE
curiosity no :, whatever IT may pc,
her constituency stands Tor Lady
Aston. Being an American born
she stands for England, the su-
periority of the Anglo-Saxon race,
the exorcism Of the demon Rum
from the SOIL Of Britain, the con-
fusion of the Labor Party, and all
the front page stuff she can grap
off. She is more British than Ed
ward VIII az / compared with her
King Alfred the Saxon was
Hittite. When her husband, VS.
count Aston, presented a portrait
of her to the Commons with the
implied suggestion that IT hang
between one of Queen Elizabeth
and one Of Queen Victoria as an
inspiration to the membership OF
the House 1t Is sad to relate that
the gift was received with a chilli
ness that was linwarranted. What
the Laborites particularly, said
was really not cricket. One menu
her from Houndsditch was heard
To shout, "GOrblime! Amt 1t bad
enough TO have to listen 70 Ter and
see Ter in the flesh without havin'
FER perishin' tintype starin' us In
the phix all the time!" So the por-
trait hung In the dustbin there
to keep company with the plan
offered by another ribald Laborite
to swap Lady Astor's deportation
to the United States In return for
q cancellation Of the English war
debt to this country. Distressing
as the reception of the viscount's
gift was and embarrassing as the
comment It provoked would have
been to O lloblewoman less rfIi-
noceros-hided than Lady Aston
she refuse TO be slowed up. She
remains the personification Of the
criticism once made about Thomas
Babhington Macaulay:-"I wish
I was as sure OF any one thing as
Tom Macaulay n Of everything"