Milford chronicle., 1936-04-24

- ch est- expanding
irwin s. Cobb championship right
away from the east
ern seaboard. Out here Is a sojourn-
ing Englishman who heretofore was
not notably distinguished; didn't
have lehyphen tOhls name. But
he wrote home cOngratulatlng King
Edward on his accession and has
just had an acknowledgment signed
by none other than the kings fourth
assistant deputy equerry, and now
the deliriOus recipient can hardly
wait to be snatched up 70 glory so
he may pause at the golden gates
just long enough to give in his or
der for an extra diversified halo and
then, with that hallOwed document
clutched to his inflated bosom. stroll
through paradise shooting the heaY-
enly host.
Original Native sons.
D IGHT in the heart Of Los An
N geles the bones Of perhaps our
first elimate-boOster have Just been
dug up. If he lived $4,000 years ago.
as some experts figure, that would
seem to make him an original ma
tive son, but If, as others think,
he only dates back 10000 years, he
was probably an early settler from
the Middle West who got begged
down IN the nrimeval Ooze on his
way to an iowa state picnic.
This certainly puts those upplty
Florida folks in their place. The
only thing they've dug up lately was
a canal, and they may have to put
that back. The celery growers don't
like Il. and when you come between
Florida celery grower and his cell
cry It's just the same as trying TO
rob a tlgress Of her young.
The Great Republicans Hope.
I NEVER thought the stocks that
1 licked the desert and the Apa-
ches would be slaekers, but neither
In Arizona nor in New Mexico can
find trace Of an anesthetic Presl-
Dental boom for any homegrown
statesman. On the other hand, the
sheep crop Is reported good.
Maybe IT'S just as we'll Already
there has been more than one ia
vorlte son boom that reminded me
Of a new trunk store on a side
street--you know. the kind that
always opens with a grand clos
ing-out sale.
Republicans here speak highly Of
Governor l.andOn OF Kansas. StIll,
you never can tell. II you can be-
lieve what the Sunday papers print
when the editors can't think OF any
thing else, tragedy always followed
owning the Hope diamond or dig
ging into King Tut's tomb. But
being indorsed for Office BY W. R.
Hearst Is pretty fatal. too, seems
to me
Governor Hoffman's Motives.
NOTWITHSTANDING the ac-
l y cusations OF critics 10 his own
state. It's hard to believe New Jer-
sey's Governor HOFFMAN was actnat-
I'd BY political ambition in the
course he took In this CHASTITY
case, because, while he
,reated for himself a strong per
SOnal following, so many Of the boys
who'd probably like TO vote with his
iide are unfortunately being de-
aimed at present in places like Sing
Sing and Alcatraz and Leavenworth,
where there's no voting done.
Sitting the Urge
IT'S almost time for the master
tallors toannounce that this year
nen viii wear bright eolors. They
10 that regularly and nothing ever
ONES Of Il except vain longIngs
OF us poor cowardly worms that
7e are. Being a race OF 'fraid-cats.
zen 30 right on encasIng ourselves
b garments suitable f,r pallbear-
rs at a Dunkard funeral.
I'm typical Of the whole thwarted
nale species. Ny impulse Is to 20
lck ont something suitable FOR
ancy vest and then have a whole
nit made Of It. Right now I've cot
~ eve on a uobby checked pattern
D biack and white squares that
louid make me look a good deal
ke q marble-tiled entry hail. But
an I Indulge my stiaed naturai
raylngsl Don't make me lauehl
It's not one another's scorn We
sar It's our womenfolk. Wen. II
% were 3 hen and the poor fool
D rooster had surrendered to you
] big gay feathers, along With
osi Of bis other perqnisites would
1u give EN- back to hImf