Evening star., 1936-02-20

Perfection
Standards
Parents Should Agree
on How High They
Should Be.
BY ANGELO PATRT

CONSCIENTIOUS mothers often
~ make life miserable for the very
children they are suffering to- serve.
There is no such thing as hundred
per cent, not on this earth. If child
approximates the standard he does
we'll, and we will do we'll to pause and
encourage him and wait for his growth
to erase the flaws.
One mother wants her child to talk
perfect English, no slang. No ordi-
nary expressions. like For Pete's
sake" or You big stiff" are tolerated.
Father thinks that the natural way
of speech (his being the natural way)
is the only way that will make pos
sible for his son to meet and make
friends. Accordingly he laughs at
mothers anxious corrections and
speaks in the tongue OF the playground
and street. This is hard on the boy.
He wants to please his mother, but
his father ought to know how to talk
and, anyway, his talk is easier.
Then manners. Mother watches
every move. Remember, please, rise
when come into the room and stand
until I sit Never leave the room
without facing those who are in it as
you pass through the door. Keep
your feet on the floor. always. Beg
your fathers pardon. He was speak
ing and you interrupted him. Didn't
you see Mrs. Bubsby, son? Say how
do you do. Open the door for older
people and stand aside until they pass.
Think of somebody beside yourself!"
All day long the stream of correc-
ton and admonition flows over the
boy and yet, although people say he
Is very well hammered, mother thinks
he Is semi-savage. She cannot teach
him. If only his father would set
him good example. Father keeps
right on in his accustomed way, not
the well-mannered way at all.
Then there are lessons and report
cards. Only A is permitted these boys
and girls. If their mothers-it is US
ually the mothers who are so anxious
about the children-were asked to get
A, the mark of perfection in their
daily tasks wonder how they would
feel when their cards were handed
them. Why not expect and accept
few B pluses, few BIS, scattered
along with the AS? They must come
to all except the extraordinary chill
dren. Surely one would not want
every child to be extraordinary? Some
of them come from families that are
little less than extraordinary. Why
expect the children to excel them all
in the short span Of one generation?
Why not be thankful that there are
no DIS, no red-ink marks on the card?
Instead of wailing about the low level
Of goodness it would be much more
sensible and honest to cheer for any
goodness that is shown.
It is right to hold high standard
for the children, but we must be care
full that it is high in relation to the
child's abilities. What would be
low standard for one child might be
an unobtainably high one for another.
How high can your child go without
cracking under the strain? That is
the height of his standard for the
present and the place where you be-
gin to praise.
Father ought to set good example.
Father and mother ought to agree,
early in the child's life, what the
standards are to be and what each Is
70 do toward helping the child reach
MS 1ull height. But nobody, father,
mother, teacher, should hold up the
perfection standard so high as to make
a good pupil feel himself failure.
perfection is a relative term after all.
Try to tell yourself how perfect per-
lection is and see where you get,