The Waterbury Democrat., 1936-12-14
In New York
By GEORGE ROSS


 New York, Dec. 14.-Some skep- tics remain who scof at the great lengths New York will go to give The People service. Not even the fact that. one telegraph company maintains local staff to render information on where to purchase a wild jaguar or how to balance a Japanese bower vase between fore finger and thumb, among other things, convinces the hinterland iconoclasts.
 But these headstrong unbeliev- CTS will have to yield before this story of the young lady who lived in the Bronx and who worked downtown and who wanted to show off her kid sister, aged 4, at the office.
 It was mid-afternoon when this big-sisterly impulse came over her. Her father was busy and her mother was wearily tidying the house, and there wasn't 8 soul in the neighborhood who could be trusted with the safe transporta- ton of the little darling.
 So our young lady laid the whole problem before the tele- graph office messenger service. Before the operator could tap out Jack Robinson" in Morse Code, 8, courier was on his way to the lady's Bronx residence. When he got there, the child was already prepared to be shipped. Over her right shin, the messenger pinned & tag marked, Deliver to Miss
 One Child (GirD, Blonde, Blue Eyes, Chubby. RUSH"
 Miss - received her sister a half hour later, and on the of- ficial blank gladly scribbled her signature to the receipt. Child Delivered in Perfect Condition" !" it said, and as he was departing, the messenger confided that this wasn't an especially odd delivery job. ,.
 Reverent Laughter
 No small oddment is the fact that most of the gags of the quack- quack comic, Joe Penner, are com- posed, whittled down to a laugh and polished by practising clergy man. Indeed, almost every zany ditty sprung by Penner in recent years is the creative output of the Rev.Hal Raynor, who presides spiritually over his parishioners at the Glendora Episcopal church, Glendora, Calf. Jovial, portly Che boasts 200 pounds of avoirdupois), Rev. Raynor rhymes the Penner ditties when he is not engrossed in ministerial affairsCand how he came into this extra ecclesiastical work is another little tale.
 Some years ago. the reverend was pastor of a little church in Orange, N. J., and the charity box responded so hollowly to his tap that he looked about for some other means of sup porting the church's philanthropic work. Somewhere he had read about the fabulous pay Of gagsters and one evening he sat down to toss of dity about ''Woe Is Me" Be- cause Penner was his favorite comic, he dispatched the lyrics to him. In few days a check came through the mail with an urgent plea for more of the same kind of material.
 So the reverend took to compos- ing gag songs in earnest and when time came for Penner to go to Hol- lywood, he beseeched the pastor to go along. But the minister refused until he could head another book in California. Through Penner's efforts, the parish of Glendora soon beckoned Rev. Raynor to take charge of its spiritual affairs. It was in Glendora, incidentally, where the reverend was inspired to write. Do You Wanna Buy g Duck" Matrimonial Bargains
 Here's an old and nusty self-reA hinder to investigate the sign over the Hudson Storage Warehouse which reads Husbands for Sale" But it's too late. The sign has been taken in and no one on the premises will tell If . single spouse was able to be retailed even ct cost price.
 I've heard Q rlimor of q lady who was tenth In line at the bier of Rudolph Valentino and who comes back regularly to the same funeral parlor, in order to commemorate her hrat vtsit.