Evening star., 1936-02-26
Discussing
Teen-Age
Marriages
Young Little Realize
Responsibilities
Involved.
BY ANGELO PATRI.


AM Is ana my sweetheart Is 10,
and we want to get married. Not
right away. Of course, but soon. He
is very lovely person and love him
to death and nothing can part US.
We have made up our minds to that.
But our parents are very stubborn and
say that we must not see each other
at ALL. We are thinking Of running
away and getting married. II my boy
friend had job we would, but just
now we must wait although it is very
hard. Don't you think our parents
are very wrong about this?"
I don't know because don't know
any of the people concerned in the
problem, but have seen a number
of such situations and my experience
teaches me that forbidding the young
people to see each other Is about the
surest, quickest way of getting them
married. I do not think that it Is
wise for girl Of Is or a boy Of 10,
neither of them matured mentally or
physically, to marry. They are not
prepared for the strains of married
life, and are almost certain to come to
grief. What Is one to do about them?
First calm ones troubled spirit.
Think back to the time when ado
lescence was ones own stage of
growth and remember the feelings.
Remember, too, the resentment toward
arbitrary authority, the burning desire
to be self-directing, free and inde-
pendent. And the headstrong will
that could brook no interference, and
was ones besetting fault. Wait until
your ears stop buzzing and your hands
are steady and your voice under con-
troll. Then say something about, I'VE
must see. We have to think this
over" Spar for time.
Don't forbid them to see each other,
Talk things over and agree on certain
visiting privileges. Don't allow them
to overrm your good judgment and
see each other every night. Smile
that down. Keep them both at school,
or so busy through the day that fresh
interest must arise. If both of them
are idle they will surely lose them
selves in calf love that must end
in tears and lamentations.
Give each of them responsibility.
They must learn to shoulder their
own loads, and the sooner the better.
That means the young man must have
steady occupation either in school or
at work. and the girl either in school
or In some work that makes her feel
bound to deliver daily duty well
performed. She, if she intends to
marry soon, ought to have a course
in home-making, in infant care, nurs-
ing. Too many marriages fail because
of the ignorance of one or both Of
the parties in relation to fundamental
facts Of marriage.
Marriage is whole-time job for
most people. The man finds it all
he can do to keep the household free
OF debt, and the woman discovers
early that home and home duties,
including child bearing and rearing,
is more than she can ever hope to
finish in one lifetime. 1t Is no play
job for children In their teens. Some
young people are fitted for early mar.
riages; most are not, lacking maturity,
experience and training. The few
that are ready arouse no anxiety in
their families, but the great group.
who are not ready yet insist that they
are. give their people the bitterest
hours of their lives.
Teach little children the facts Of
life and keep teaching them through
the years so that the adolescent
has some glimmering Of what he is
talking about when he mentions
marriage. Usually we find that the
immature children who want to rush
into marriage have not been so trained
and taught. Their ignorance betrays
them.