The McDowell times. [volume] (Keystone, W. Va.) 1904-1941, 1936-10-02
THE HUNGRY FAME SEEKER

was q 1ISci-lc VIII
~ borrowed some Tackle and
went fishing off Catalina Island, hop
ing that he might get Nibble from
a Tuna. To those who never have
seen Tuna it may be impaired that
this Marine Monster is a Minnow
two sizes smaller than Submarine.
It is fully as long as a Freight Car
and If domesticated, could be used
for towing Barges. The zap who
rode back and forth across the
dancing Waves, trolling an attrac-
tive Bait and begging the Fish to
give him some Trade, was playing
in rare Luck, because he never got
Strike. If he had, the poor Woofus
would not have remained in the
Boat.
On another Occasion a cheerful
Imbecile polished up a dinky Rifle
such as the Merry-Makers al
Coney Island use in shooting al
sheet-iron Ducks and other movable
Targets. He put on a Boy Scout
Uniform and went out into the Hills,
hoping that he could scare up a
Grizzly Bear. All day he scrambled
around, kicking at the Underbrush
and making Noises which were
meant to insult the Bear and induce
him to come out and put up Bat.
tie. The Guardian Angels who fly
over Cars driven by Women and
protect the Patriot who buys Fire.
works must have been on the job
that Day because the dauntless
Nimrod never saw Hide or Hair of a
Grizzly. That is why he lived to gel
back home and eat hearty Supper
1t happened that a Young Mar
who thought he was, whereas he
really wasn't, came into more sweet
Currency than you could shovel with
a Scoop Shovel in Three Months
One Night, in select Club, he found
himself gazing at hypnotic Bru
nette even as an English Sparrow
might gaze at the beautiful bu
deadly Cobra.
This one made Pola Negri lool
like Clergyman's Daughter. YOU
could hear the Current cracking.
The yearning Child of Fortune
tried to semaphore few Signals tc
tllC ouohJ e<dCCl ctIld SCb tlCl lllttl
ested but she had no Line on the
Bank Roll and did not like the Sof
Shirt he wore with the Dinner Jack
ct, so she threw him about / ,50(
Feet into the Air and rode away into
the Night with a big Sausage Mar
from the West.
/ POOR BRAKES BREAK MANY A
MAN
Two years ago prominent Mem
Der of the Chamber of Commerce o.
Oklahoma City, Okla, was in Eu
rope taking his first real Rest since
the Syndicate in which he was in
terested struck the Gusher. He
watched the wheel at Monte Carlo
and, being quick at Figures anc
able to see right through any Prop
osition on the Jump, he felt alnos
sure that it would be Cinch to wiz
all the deprecated Currency anc
close the Dump.
He sat up for two Nights anc
wore out two Pencils doping a Sys
tenn which could not lose. He ex
planned the Modus Operandi to his
two Travelling Companions and sale
it was a Pipe, if backed up by
enough Coin, so as to keep or
doubling. He wanted Bill and Buc
to put in $4,000 apiece and let him
go in and shoot up the Place, but
they were Leery and said that the
Suckers had already put up two
many Buildings and laid out more
Flower Beds than were needed
These Examples have been citeo
to prove that many a Chunp who
thinks that the Breaks are against
him is really the favored and pam.
pered Child of Destiny. Herbert j
Prangle, of whom we are compelled
to write, was so fortunate. He went
fishing and the Tuna got him
While searching for the Grizzly he
had the Tough Luck to find one
When he smiled at the Beautiful
Female she gave him a quiverine