davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star., 1936-01-13
Modern Wit.

Modern wit is relatively questionable.
There appears to be a common belief
that the golden age of humor has passed.
Few writer's of the present day quote
with appreciation from the endeavors at
drollery of their contemporaries. Even
the Congressional Record reflects the
habit of the times. Senators and Repre-
sentatives rarely cite living authors. In
stead, they almost invariably hark back
to masters long dead for axioms Ito
point q moral or adorn q tale"
And yet it may be wondered If any
earlier generation of men could boast of
greater or more richly talented epigram-
matists than Gilbert K. Chesterton and
George Bernard Shaw, Will Rogers and
H. L. Mencken. Disagree with them as
a multitude may, those practitioners Of
the art sarcastic are not inferior to their
forerunners. And their philosophy Is
Just as sound.
To illustrate the contention, consider
Clifford Raymond's remark: '"The pure
socialist state does exist, but it isn't in
Russia. It's beehive" Also Lord
Dewar's searching observation: "The one
thing that hurts more than paying an
income tax is not having to pay an In
come tax" Likewise, Struthers Burt's
devastating conclusion: "The hokum Of
radicalism is the twin brother Of the
hokum Of reaction. Both arise from the
Evening star., 1936-01-13
President-elect Gomez.

With scarcely more disorder than
occasionally characterizes an election IN
Kentucky, the Cuban people have just
gone to the polls and chosen new
President-Dr. Miguel Mariana Gomez,
coalition candidate of the Republican,
Nationalist and Liberal parties. The
counting of the votes is proceeding with
vexatious slowness and causing the only
semblance of unrest which the contest
produced, but DR.. Gomez's lead over his
rival, former President Mario G. Memo
cal, the Democratic party candidate, is
SO substantial that returns from the
missing provinces are not likely to alter
the result.
No vital national issues were at stake.
Both presidential candidates were looked
upon as men of conservative tendency.
with a mutual desire to obliterate the
era of revolution and anarchy in which
Cuba more or less necessarily has had
its being since overthrow of the Machado
regime three years ago. 1t is probably
too much to hope that DR.. Gomez's ac-
cession to the presidency guarantees the
island enduring tranquility. There are
certain political elements that held
themselves aloof from the recent cam
paign, and they are credited with the
determination to essay armed excesses
whenever conditions present an oppor-
tunity for provoking turmoil. The
incoming administration will be con-
strained SO to order Cuban destinies that
these chronic malcontent forces, chief
source of the islands past tribulations,
will be robbed of trouble e-breeding pre-
texts.
DIR. Gomez is one of Cuba's younger
statesmen. He has served twice as mayor
of Havana. He calls the triumph Of the
coalition party victory for true democ-
racy and pledges that he will rule In
that spirit. President-elect Gomez, who
received part Of his education in this
country, announces the cultivation of
"closer ties with the United States"
along with "cordiality within the Cuban
family" as the basis of his program.
The new President takes Office under
favorable skies. Beneficiary of what are
described as the most honest and peace
full elections ever held in Cuba, a cir
cumstance possibly due to the fact that
women voted for the first time, DR..
Gomez has more promising opportunity
than any Of his predecessors in late years
to give the island the species Of govern
ment it sorely needs, following a dev-
astating cycle of political and economic
Ncissitudes. Cuban welfare rests pri-
marily upon profitable business inter-
course with the United States. The
reciprocity treaty concluded last year as
the first Of the Hull good-neighbor and
square-deal trade pacts has produced
excellent results for both countries. Its
benefits for Cuba become progressively
evident and are an augury for the sue
cess OF the Gomez administration.
The President-elect is assured of a
continuance of that good will which the
American people and Government have
consistently displayed toward the Pearl
of the Antilles since the dawn of its
nationhood.
Evening star., 1936-01-13
WASHINGTON OBSERVATIONS
BY FREDERIC WILLIAM VILE.

O'Neal of Kentucky. Representatives An
drew and Wigglesworth Of Massachu-
sets and Bolton and Hollister of Ohio
are some of the A. E. F. veterans who
helped make up the total of 81 Repub-
lican votes cast against the bonus. Rep
resentative Edith Nourse Rogers of Mas
sachusetts long active in veterans af-
fairs. was also member of the Repub-
lican opposition.
In the light of the dragging of Wood
row wilson's name into the Senate Mu-
nitions Committees investigation of
Americas entry into the World War.
interest attaches to the tribute just paid
to his late father-in-law by Assistant
Secretary of State Francis B. Sayre.
Speaking the other day in Philadelphia,
Mr.. Sayre, who married Jesse Wilson
tnow deceased) at the White House in
December, 1913, said: To-day the men,
ory of Woodrow Wilson is upon us. His
spirit is still vital. Still he gives direc-
tion to our designs and thoughts. Even
yet he warns our hearts with the sweep
of his vision and with his starlike ideal
ism. He is one of the very few who seem
beyond time and space. Because he did
not allow expediency or passing pres
sures to warp his judgments or sway
his actions, because under the guidance
of God he communed with unchanging
truth and had the courage to build his
principles and his life upon that truth,
he will live as one of the leaders of
power of all time"
Robert M. Washburn Boston Borah
booster, sends this writer an up-to-the-
minute description Of the New Deal.
Stripped of its N. r. A. and A. A. A.,
Washburn thinks, the New Deal is q
Nude Eel" Another constituent of
these observations deposes and says that
the Supreme Court has made notable
and indelible addition to the Roosevelt
alphabet by writing N. G. after N. r. A.
and A. A. A.
Republican National Chairman Henry
p. Fletcher now has woman lieutenant
with a famous name-Miss Dolly Mad
ison of New Jersey-who has been ap-
pointed assistant to the director Of the
Young Republican division. She has
long been prominent in that work, both
in her home State and nationally. Her
political activity began with service as
an election board judge in her home town
of Metuchen, N. j. Miss Madison Is
looked upon as one of the up-and-com-
ing women of the G. o. p. organization.
Il 4
with prospects of an Unexpectedly
clogged legislative calendar, due to COL
lapse of the New Deal crop-control pro-
gram, congressional prospects OF the
Townsend plan at the current session
become simmer and simmer. 1t ap-
pears highly problematical now whether
the project can be brought to vote in
the visible future. Passage OF Town.
send bill at this time is, Of course, wholly
out of the question. But its energetic
and enthusiastic supporters are hopeful
that they can contrive in some form to
put its friends and foes on record, so that
those of them up for reelection in No
vember can be, respectively, rewarded or
punished Townsenders are building for
the long-range future, which they be-
lieve is theirs.
Copyright. 1860
Evening star., 1936-01-13
THIS AND THAT
BY CHARLES Z. TRAcEWELL.

object of art and. especially. as . part
Of the care Of the inmates.
Yet beginners and some ebdurate ex-
perienced keepers tend to shy from 1t.
"Will 1t not prevent the fishes from
getting air?" they ask.
It will not, provided other factors, such
as proportion Of fishes to amount Of
wat: water, proper plants care in feeding are
Glass covers round of a tank as moth
Ing else can.
After one has used glass cover for a
time, an uncovered aquarium looks bare
and unfinished.
Their utility. however, is greatest. The
glass lid not only prevents mettlesome
fishes from leaping out-as they often do
II the water is at the proper distance of
about an inch from the top-but also
helps keep the warmth In the water,
vital necessity for tropical or exotic
specimens.
Since goldhshes are better cool. the
glass lid serves no purpose with them
except to prevent them from jumping
out, as they sometimes do, and to keep
cats from dipping In paw.
In households where there are no cats
q wire screen, Of some metal which would
not permit a drip of harmful chemicals,
would be better than glass lid. perhaps.
4 \ \
The secret of the glass cover is that
it never fits so tightly that it excludes
air.
Such oxygen as enters the water is
small in comparison with the carbon
dioxide which finds its way out at the
surface.
If the fishes are given at least one
gallon of water apiece-and preferably
more-they will get plenty Of oxygen, so
long as the tank is not hermetically
sealed. Since 1t Is quite evident that a
simple sheet or pane of glass laid over
the tank will not do this. it is equally
evident that the cover can have no HARM
full effect If the inmates are not over
crowded.
There can be little doubt that the
effort to keep tropical fishes properly
warm in this climate has wearing effect
and that time comes in the life Of
every enthusiast. unless he Is in the busi-
ness professionally, when he tends to give
over the effort.
Then If his interest in fishes still lives
he begins to look around for cool water
ones. and finds that the goldfish, in its
many forms, is still a very interesting
animal.
Much of the worry Of keeping cats and
fishes at the same time could be elm
mated by securing the cover lids to the
tanks with metal clips. which would hold
them securely even If Tom jumped of
the lid when some one entered the room
hurriedly.
This feature of clips is almost always
overlooked. hence the constant worry in
the back of the mind of some keepers.
II double thickness glass Is used for the
lid, the top Of the tank then becomes
as steady and unbreakable as could be
desired, when one is dealing with glass.
The weight of the water will keep the
tank from turning over. provided it is
filled almost full. as 1t should be, and it
sits fiat on a steady table. The larger
the tank the more catproof. provided the
lid is thick enough and is clipped to the
rim to prevent movement in case a
roamer happens to become fishing en-
thusiast, for the nonce.
Evening star., 1936-01-13

City improved led them to continue to
outdo the stronger national partner in
assuming greater financial burdens than
should have fallen on them.
More than forty years elapsed before
the definite proportionate basis of shar-
ing the cost OF upbuilding, operating and
maintaining the Capital, suggested by
the Southard report, was established.
Under the organic act Of 1878 the pri-
mary obligation to bear this burden was
placed where the committee Of 1885
had said it belonged, on the Federal
Government. The law provided that
the Congress should appropriate out Of
the United States Treasury one-half the
amount approved by Congress and that
the other half should be raised through
local taxation.
Anew ratio for division of Capital sup
port, 60 per cent by the District and
40 per cent by the United States, super
seded the $3.50 ratio in 1922, but, COM
pletely overlooking the spirit Of fair play
and fiscal equity of Andrew jackson and
the Southard Committee, diminishing
lump-sum Federal payment has since
been substituted for the definite per-
centage provided by law.
Now as we are exhorted to return to
the high ideals and fine Americanism OF
President Jackson, District residents are
asking If all or only few of the Jack
sonian principles are to be put into prac-
tice anew and if his views concerning
development of the National Capital are
among those to be ignored.
Evening star., 1936-01-13

The keeping Of cats and fishes TO-
gether is not q hard task, but still not
one to be recommended.
A recent news note indicated that o
Midwestern woman had not been able to
keep any goldhshes for II years, the
duration of the life of her white Persian,
q great fisherman.
She would have been able to do 30 II
she had placed q screen over the tank,
or sheet Of glass.
The actual keeping Of the two types
Of life in the same home at the same
time is not where the trouble comes in.
1t lies mainly in the effect on human
nerves.
There is a household where 200 trop-
ical fishes and eight goldnshes are kept
simultaneously with three domestic cats,
without loss.
The wear and tear on the nerves OF
the occupants. however, has been con-
siderable, and this Notwithstanding that
the members are great friends Of ami
mails.
It must not be forgotten, of course,
that fishes are animals, just as cats are.
They live in different mediums-that
is one great difference, but at bottom
they are members Of the same great
family.
Spiders belong to it. too, much to the
amaZement Of many, who think they
are insects.
It is, easy to see that you can't alto
gether tell an animal by looking at It.
Nor is it possible to state the amount
Of nervous tension created in a house,
hold due to keeping cats and fishes side
by side, simply by the amount Of dam
age done, either to the smaller animals,
to the floors and rugs or to the glass
tanks.
It may be possible to keep a dozen or
more aquaria without damage, yet at the
same time the cats tend to create a haz-
ard against which the human part OF the
household must be on perpetual watch.
This grows tiresome.
Glass cover lids make the feat possible,
but at the same time they offer the feline
part of the combination a new diversion
in Nature.
They permit cats to walk on water,
almost literally. That is, they can stand
directly over the water and peer down
at the fishes.
Strange to say. this maneuver seldom
scares any variety of fishes. but the fact
that the cat may kick the glass cover
of, If disturbed suddenly at his watch
ing, offers something distinctly new in
household hazards.
=
Without the lids the tanks would be
at the mercy Of feline fishermen.
A great deal can be done by watching
the animals and "shushing" them every
time they look toward an aquarium, but
in the main this is an impossible task.
The larger animals must be trained to
let the tanks alone.
good scare is the surest way, but it
must be naturally accomplished
Once cat kicks one corner of a cover
lid into the tank and splashes water on
himself and the floor he is what might
be called fish broken.
Thereafter he seldom bothers the
tanks, in fact shows a great lack of in
terest In them for the remainder of his
life. Maybe!
\ Il
The glass cover lid is the finishing
touch to home aquarium, both as an
Evening star., 1936-01-13

conviction that every one save yourself
Is . fool"
And to these jewels might be added
such pearls Of perspicacity as Benjamin
De Casseres' Equality of income has
always been the program of every In
competent bum on the planet, not to
speak of counterfeiters and second
story gunmen":: Dean Inges Politicians
take no interest in eugenics, because the
unborn have no votes; Henry Seidel
Canbys I'VE Americans are the best
informed people In the world. We know
q little about everything" and Nicholas
Murray Buffers "The mob spirit, and
what call onformitarianism are abroad
in the land crushing out individual judg-
ment and action and silencing courage"
But the range is unlimited, and good
quoter would have little difficulty finding
apothegms to suit themes far removed
from social issues. A random glance over
q recently published anthology yields:
"The only people who make no mistakes
are dead people," attributed to Henry
Afford Porter; "some dictionary is always
taking the Joy out Of life," Elsie
Mccormick; "Facts are our scarcest raw
material" Owen D. Young: "The silent
bear no witness against themselves" !"
Aldous Huxley; can ignorant man Is q
very dangerous person." Hendrix Willem
Van Loon, and "If I were running the
world, would have it rain only between
two and five am, and any one who was
out then ought to get wet" William
Lyon Phelps.
Certainly such inventions are stimu-
lating enough. Many of them. more
over, are fundamentally sane. What
sage of antiquity, it may be demanded,
ever sponsored more rational truism
than: Liberty is an elusive thing? The
mind that conceived that cogent prin-
ciple ordinarily goes up and down the
sidewalks of New York under brown
derby!
Evening star., 1936-01-13
Shooting Stars.
BY PHnANDER Johnson.
A Life of Ease.

A Life of Ease.
Some day." says Joe Struthers, like
numerous others a-wishin for
things that are not,
"I'n drop my employment an look for
enjoyment, far, far from this
work-a-day spot.
I'll cut up and revel, will, on the level.
I'll loaf where the public kin view
A man of contentment all free from re-
sentiment; a man who has nothing
to dol"
Joe finally landed q sum that COM
manded the leisure he'd often de-
sired.
He went on excursions and sought the
diversions which distantly he had
admired;
But he yawned and grew weary, exist
ence was dreary and earnest emo
tions were few,
And he sort O. seemed cropping and
plaintively hoping an looking for
something to do!
Evening star., 1936-01-13
A Rhyme at Twilight
By
Cert ude Brooke Hamilton
Young Calahad.

The world looks good to you now, my lad:
Your laughing eyes eager for life.
Every man your friend, the way to the end
Clean-cut as the blade of your knife.
Yet the day will come when you lose,
my lad,
That wonderful faith in mankind:
They'll betray your trust till your ideals
rust
And you feel like a man gone blind.
Hold on to the good thru it all. my lad:
Keep your honor untarnished and free:
In time, never fear. your vision will clear,
And you'll come to philosophy.
The one thing ask Of you then, my lad.
When to man and his hack you are wise
And you're tackling life in . round OF
strife
Keep that laughter, lad, In your eyes.
Evening star., 1936-01-13

In the theological sense Of the term,
1t is stated on highest authority, war is
a stupid or unreasonable act. Even the
magnificent imagination of John Milton
could not maze war a topic of reliable
suggestion in human affairs.
Evening star., 1936-01-13

Society, in the official sense, will, in the
absence OF a wife, recognize only a
daughter, mother or sister. This will
cut out the cousins and the aunts so
jovially welcomed by Sir Joseph Porter
on H. M. S. Pinafore.
Evening star., 1936-01-13

In holiday condescension Hitler de-
ferred a little to the spirit Of merry
making which assumes that there is a
Santa Claus. In his further policies he
may assure those whose support he
solicits that there is no April Fool.
Evening star., 1936-01-13
Vote Hunting.

From the indianapolis Times.
First Herbert Hoover's former secretary,
Lawrence Richey, has Amos n Andy
down to Maryland for q turkey shoot.
and now the Roosevelts draft them for
Q cabinet dinner at the White House.
Apparently both sides are out after the
toothpaste and taxi votes.
Evening star., 1936-01-13

The statue Of jackson in the park
should call for careful explanation from
guides to tourists to prevent superficial
belief that jackson was once a prize
winner at horse show.
Evening star., 1936-01-13

A. A. A. may find means of practical
survival. It will at least be necessary to
move its designation a few letters along
in the alphabet.
Evening star., 1936-01-13

In discussing public affairs r. F. C.
still says that bond underwriters are as
much to be considered as undersecre-
taries.
Evening star., 1936-01-13
Hazard.

from the Shreveport Journal.
Astronomers say there are only $500
visible stars, but we are satisfied we
have seen more than that as result of
forgetting the position of that lead rack
In the composing room.
Evening star., 1936-01-13
Costless Generosity.

From the worcester Gazette. &
The New Jersey grocer who cancelled
4l2,500 worth Of debts owing him for
twenty-five years made nice gesture.
And ct this late date 1t probably cost
nobody any monsy, either.
Evening star., 1936-01-13
Swift Experiences.

Sometimes a man has a hard time
getting finally located in the United
States Senate"
"Yes," replied Senator Sorghum.
Sometimes a Legislature sends along a
man who scarcely gets through reading
the word Welcome on the door mat be-
fore some one calls his attention to
sign, This Way Out"
Evening star., 1936-01-13
Member of the Associated Press

The Associated Press is exclusively entitled 70
the use for republication Of all news dispatches
credited TO it or not otherwise credited in this
paper and also the local news published herein.
All rights Of publication OF special dispatches
herein are also reserved
Evening star., 1936-01-13

Progress.
A-slidin' along th'oo de ice an de snow
A-singin' along in de sun
OATS how de days mus come an 60
As you counts 'em one by one.
Smilin' when skies are blue an bright,
Weepin' when clouds draw nigh;
Laughin' when breezes are warm an
light,
An grievin' when storms pass by.
De years is mostly alike, you know,
An dis like de rest begun.
A-slidin' along th'oo de ice an snow
An singin' along in de sun.
Coercion.
"Don't you think the world owes you
living?"
"Yes," replied Plodding Pete. "But
the world is tough old creditor. I find
have to hand it few wallops with q
pick and shovel to convince it."
H-Wishing.
Oh, Father Time, hate to see
Your scythe put on parade.
And when you take . hack at me,
- hope you nick your blade!
de man dat kin always be his own
boss" said Uncle Eben, "ginerally amt
nun account to make It worth anybody's
Whila q tyy % boos him.
Evening star., 1936-01-13
Difficult Transaction.

Dificult Transaction.
"When q man marries for money" said
Miss Cayenne, "you may expect COM
plants from everybody concerned Of
having gotten the worst Of the bargain"
Evening star., 1936-01-13

A reader can get the ansDer to any
question OF fact BY tDrittng The Washing
ton Epening Star Information Bureau,
Frederic J. Haskin, Director, Washing
ton, D. c. Please itclose stamp for reply.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1936-02-01
JOHN KITCHEN
RITES WILL BE
HELD MONDAY
PennWay Building Owners
Body to Be Placed
in MauSoIeum.

Funeral services for John B.
Kitchen, owner of the Pennway
Building, Pennsylvania and New
York-sts, are to be held at 100
Monday afternoon in Flanner g.
Buchanan Mortuary. The body is to
be placed in the family mausoleum
in Crown HILL
Mr.. Kitchen died of pneumonia
Thursday night in the Spink-Arms,
where he had lived since last Octo-
Der. He was 70.
An intimate friend of John Drew,
Shahespearean actor, and the late
Florenz Ziegfeld, Mr.. Kitchen also
was prominent for many years
among New York and Chicago bust
ness and professional men.
He was member of the Indian
apolis University Club many years
ago, and was member of the Rae
quet Club of New York, the Union
League Club of Chicago, and the
Chicago Club.
He is survived by the widow, Mrs.
Frances Kitchen
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1936-02-01

westenhofer. SOS; Big -Four. Central
Burkhart, 594; Kernel Optical Ladies
tPritchett's), Army Daniel, 573.
Match games will be the main attrac-
ton on local alleys tomorrow. At the
st. Cecilia drives, 1902 Union-st. Jess
Pritchett's array Of prima donnas will
clash with an alI-star aggregation Of key
Iers who make their headquarters at the
South Side establishment. The match is
scheduled for 2 o'clock.
At the same time a sextet of teams from
the Illinois Alleys will hook up with five
visiting aggregations from Muncie. Lieber
Brewers, Hoosier Optical and Coca -Colas
of the Washington League, Geo. J. Mayors
Of the Commercial League, Breakfast
Shop of the Fraternal loop and Beard
Brake Service Of the Automotive League
are the local quintets who will see action.
The Muncie teams are Deiamar Club,
Coca Cola, Warner Gear Plant 3, Warner
Gear IndustriaIs, Delaware Chevrolet and
Austin Electric.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1936-02-01
Beck Rites Tomorrow

Funeral services for j. o. Beck are
to be held tomorrow afternoon in
Macedonia Church in Hendricks
County. Burial is to be in Mace
donna Cemetery.
Mr.. Beck died yesterday in the
home of a son, David R. Beck, 626
EXeter-av. He was u.
Born in Hendricks County, he had
engaged in farming most of his life.
He was active in church work, and
was a member of the Odd Fellows
Survivors in addition to the son
are three granddaughter, Mrs.
Anna Ruth Irwin, Miss Carrie
Hughes and Miss Martha Hughes,
all of Indianapolis.