The Coolidge examiner., 1936-07-17

quitting by request, s
some by indict- As@@%<' 'S'azz'szs8e7
ment and some just Irwin s. Cobb
vani ishing into
space, taking with them the clients
remaining cash assets, if any.
But this happened to be cable
gram from Geneva stating that,
when Emperor Halle and Farewell
Selassie hurriedly departed from
his capital, he so thoroughly
cleaned out the bank of Ethiopia
that all the invading Italians found
in the vaults was a large throb-
bing vacuum.
How Mencken Can Write
THIS campaign will liven right
l. up if Henry Mencken, the Of
fetal human gumboil of the writ
ing craft, takes pen in hand to dis
cuss the men and the issues. You
don't have to agree with Hen. You
may quarrel with his premises and
dispute his conclusions.
But can he make the language
pop like a bull-whip! When he gets
excited he throbs like a mashed
thumb, and cuts loose like an
avenging angel. Expressing him.
self, he always picks words of the
right shape and the right color.
Literary Garbage
T ET'S admit that southerners of
IL the Col. Carter of Cartersville
type were mainly the far-fetched
creations of overly fic-
tionists. Let's admit the business
of painting a largely imaginary
aftah-de-wah South was for many
years crowded.
But why, in the revolt to de-
bunk this sugary romance, should
the land SO generously spawn a
crop of alleged realists who'd have
the rest of the world believe the
only party of the South worthy of
being written about is almost eX-
clusively peopled by loathsome
degenerates of the Tobacco Road
variety?
If one of these literary garbage
collectors will but look about him,
he'll find Southerners who might
make interesting copy and yet, ex-
cusing that they leave the sugar
out of the corn bread and the low
er case ''r'' out of the language,
are pretty much like the run Of
their fellow Americans elsewhere.
Gas Station Service
4 N OPEN LETTER to the gaso-
n line companies:
Dear gasses-Why must the Gus
toner have the windshield wiped
wiped?
Maybe he's in a hurry. Maybe
he fears the youth with the squirt
gun will only mess up the wind
shield worse than ever. Maybe
he's nervous and prefers blurry
outlook so he can't see how many
close calls he's going to have from
being knocked cold by lady motor
lists.
Even so, unless he fights like a
tiger, he must endure the wind
shield wiping. l commend the po-
likeness of your attendants, though
deploring their frequent habit Of
apparently going somewhere about
a quarter of a mile back of the sta
ton to make change. l admire
your enterprise and your pumps are
indeed works of art. Your high
way signs SO fill the grateful eye
that we don't have to look at COM
paratively dull things, such as
scenery. But my dear gasses,
there comes time when too much
service becomes a nuisance.
Heroic First Aid Measures
NXTHEN those three gallant men
w were imprisoned in that
Moose river mine cave-in up in
Canada, facing death in the &ark-
ness-one of them, you'll remem-
ber, did" die-and the rescuers f.
naIly bored slender shaft through
to their living tomb, almost the
first thing sent down from above
was some hot coffee with a slug Of
brandy in it.
Now the Rev. A A. Mcleod has
formally protested to the govern
ment of Nova Scotia about putting
in the brandy.
So I've been sitting here all day
. trying. to make up my mind, if
I'd been buried in that freezing,
Shiny pit, which I'd prefer-to have
'em send along some spiked cof-
fee right away or keep the mix
tIre ..upl on the surface and lower
the Rev. A. A. Mcleod with
pitcher of ice water.
It's one of those things a fellow
really Can't decide oTfrand
IRWIN & CORR