The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1936-06-19

y LHelr Snduueu HedUS
Alis"slAl The setup will be
Irwin G Cobb different at Philadel-
phia, the cradle of
liberty, although occupied at times by
some funny foundlings. There, when
the chosen mouthpiece offers candi-
date whose second nomination has been
certain ever since his first nomination,
every patriot on the floor must be
thrown by the astounding shock into
happy delirium, lasting until his legs
give out, his larynx splits and he can't
think of any more hysteria symptoms.
The Seattle Lochinvar.
r Attest news from the hospital Is
IL that Americas boy-sweetheart-
the young Lochinvar out of Seattle
is suffering from overwork. A large
number of traffic cops around Wash
ington are reported to be in the same
fix. The barkeepers haven't sent in
their casualty list yet.
One of the big circuses is certainly
overlooking gorgeous chance Think
barred arena-Clyde Beatty with Zion
check.
Black Masked Bigots.
INTO a sour sOup-stOck of religious
L and racial hatred, stir a mess Of
high-sounding titles, blood-curdling
oaths and foolish regalias, and you've
got q mixture with an irresistible APP
peal to parties whose average hat size
is six and an eighth and whose souls
are aslosh In the bilge-water of big
Otry. Presently they're adding miscel-
laneous murder to their mummery, as
In Michigan, where sundry gallant
heroes seem about due to suffer pro-
longed attacks of short-haired pale
ness, which is disease brought On by
wearing a close haircut behind some
high stone walls. .
They say such organized intolerance
epidemics come In waves, but did you
ever notice that we never have any of
these waves when America Is at war;?
Then nobody objects to putting Catho-
lies or Jews or negroes In the firing
line. Nobody questions their patriotism
flag, and, after awhile, peace comes,
and all of sudden lot of folks dis
cover that those Of certain creeds and
q certain color are unworthy to be
classed as citizens or even as human
beings.
ID ECENTLY In outlining the political
IN high spots scheduled for the next
four weeks, the writer failed to men
tion the Liberty League.
The Liberty League will not hold
convention, but will have tea on the On
Pont lawn. There may be speeches
and perhaps snappy prayer by the
rector of the Church of IS. Midas and
Croesus, but AL Smith will positively
not speak, having already learned the
bitter lesson that fellow can pick an
awfully bad spot to make an awfully
good speech In.
And as for trying to keep brown
derby and silk topper alternately
bouncing off single dome-well. in
the future, I predict, he'll leave that
sort of thing to professional jugglers.
Even so, AL Smith is better qualified
than some for wearing two hats at
once, having at least twice as many
brains as you'd find under the average
politicians headpieee.
Sacrifices to Science.
7 LOVE dogs and admire them for
l. traits which so many human beings
lack. SO, because some of us joined
q movement to save impounded dogs
from possible mutilation and torture
at the hands of unauthorized agencies
and guarantee for them swift merci-
full death large number of folks seem
to think we're vivisectionists.
For one, I'm against weird experi-i
ment upon dumb brutes in the often
abused name of science. When read
that some gifted exhibitionist snapped
the vital organs of pelican and a.
hound pup, so that the pelican went
out in the back yard and barked him.
self to death at the moon and the pup
choked trying to carry half a bushel Of
fish in his lower jaw, fail to see
where the cause of medicine has BEEN
advanced. But since the war ON diseases
demands the sacrifice of certain crea-
I'd rather that every white rat in
America should have the bubonlc
plague twice than that my grand