Milford chronicle., 1936-07-03
Imitation Of an Anaconda.


some crisp Orders to the Menial
who was in charge OF the TrOlleg
Car. The Conductor did not rec
Ognlze His Masters Voice so he
called Efingham a Piece Of Cor.
gonzOla and told him that IL he
didn't cut out the Blah-Blah he
would have to take a Bat IN the
Eye. In the Articles which Efing.
ham had been reading there had
been no definite Suggestions as ia
how a Situation of this Kind should
be met, so he got OFF Of the Car
and walked.
For a good many years he had
been longing to go into the Private
Office and tell the Boss just what
was wrong with the whole Organ
izatiOn and how it would be a Clnch
to double the Business and cut
down the Overhead if the Depart
ments could be managed By Men
whose heads were filed with brains
instead of Omelets.
The Chief Executive looked up
from his Work and there on the
Rug was a Worm trying to give an
Imitation Of an Anaconda. The
Head of the Firm listened patiently.
When it was over he did not give
Mfr. Gifts the Fresh Air or even
start in TO pan him. He advised
the faithful Employee to lie down
for a little while and then go out
and have his Temperature taken.
So that is how near Eftingham came
to causing a Shake-Up.
BACK TO NATURE
When he sternly reprimanded the
Typist who did a few Letters for
him every Day and gave her Lee
ture on the Importance OF spelling
correctly all Words Of One Syllable
she never missed one Jaw Move
ment as she chewed her Wax, but
she did tell him that he was the
kind Of Fish that ought to stay
home all Day instead of wandering
out into the Streets and frightening
Pedestrians.
For a long time 1t had been Mr..
3iltts' secret Desire to plant a
Bomb under the Boarding House
n which he was eking ont a BIiser-
lble Existence. The Landlady was
% busy counting the Calories and
for the Vitamlns that she
orgot to give them any real Food.
1fingham longed to bawl her out
n such Loud Tones that his Com
Ilalnt could be heard in Cuba.
So, while he was still under the
influence Of the Complex Of Su-
eriorlty. he opened up and made
Scene at Dinner.
Efingham let out a Squawk,
Thlch is HOl PolloI for Protest. He
old the Soup the Truth about it.
elf so that he could get a Rise out
the Landlady. He just sat back
nd waited for her to brag about
he Home Cooking and the Refined
Hes had framed a Comeback
hieh, probably, would lead up to
Is being ordered out Of the Joint,
ag and Baggage. That was wha.
e craved. He knew that he never
,uld function as a Leader of Men
lille surrounded by the Flat-Heads
nd TOmtits Of a thlrd-rate Bean
y.
But the I.andIady knew him and
zed him and pltied him, so she
Ist told him to be IN his Room
lOut Q 80 and she would come up
ID fix a Foot Bath for him and
We him 10 Grains Of Aspirin and
the morning he would be all
ght.
Sure enough he was. He awoke
ixt day fully reconciled to the
lct that he would always be the
,at OF the Universe. He decided
at he would have to be a Slob
stead Of a Scbwab. He flew at
e wlthered Prunes with real Gus
and spoke nicely Of the luke
irm Coffee. Also he had a Cigar
ady for the conductor on the TroI-
: Line.
MORAL: Those who were not
m to be Blase will always be
ozzy. 4
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