Milford chronicle., 1935-11-15

| given rise to a lot OF prejudice.
Why. my brother, for instance, don't
like to be known as a taxl-driver
because he's afraid people will
think he's a revenue man.
Now / am not narrOw-minded or
unpatrlOtlc about this tax business, !,
l realize the poor starving pOliti-,
clans cannot be allowed to go on
home relief. Probably their homes
would have no sense of relief at
all If they stayed home all day.
Also I am perfectly well aware that
the office holders have a short sea-
son of it. even four years isn't
much. so naturally they have to
provide for their lean years while
they can, or some day they might
have to go TO work.
know, too, that the Government
Machinery has to he supported al
though why It can't come down TO
earth instead, is beyDnd me. Oh
heck. what mean is. know that
taxes are necessary for the Public
Veal. or maybe it's the Public.
Veal-yOu know, killing the fat
head calf Aw. peppermints; I'll
quit trying to be hlgh-hat about 1t
and admit that all know is you've
got to pay 'em or else
So as long as taxes have got to
he paid. why not make them p0pu-
lar? Nobody minds giving up their
dough for something which gives
them a thrill-why. they will even
give up other peoples dough for
that. So in my simple feminine
fashion. propose that we quit tax
ing necessary things and tax ac-
c0rding to what is known as the
Putnam Plan.
To begin with, this plan would
take the tax OF Of theater tickets
and put 1t ON to wives vino take
singing lessons at home. Don't
cheer, boys. this won't stop them.
The plan says further that there,
shall he tax on every spectator at
all sensational divorce or murder
trials.
All malicious gossip shall be taxed
NJ n rate of 70 per cent of the net
income of the gnssiper And a tax
Of per cent of the gross income
OF the gossIree.
All smoking room stories over one
year old shall be taxed at the rate
Of 10 cents per repetition.
Practical jokes shall be taxed on
sliding scale. That gives me an
Idea! Tan y0u just picture a fat
woman stepping onto a sliding
scale? IInh! S0 you won't laugh.
er? uh well. what do ! care? But
this Is n rich idea. this taxing prac-
iirnl jokes. And what really
starred mli tO say was. the jokes
would he taxed in proportion to
their rlevernpss and originality.
The dmmhei the Joke the higher the
tax. Joe t'0nk. for instance, would
get nn practically free
The list of properly taxable
things could go on practically end
lassly. beginning with visits from
in.Iaw and ending with but
tered parsnlps. and such tax list,
far from milking Mr. Taxpayer, the
Fnrgniter Man and MFR. Average
citizen feel even more gloomy than
they look fran their pictures In the
PAPERS - we'll far from making
them feel oppressed. It would have
them practically laughing out loud.
NoIndy could object to seeing a
guy pay tax on stale egg, or
shell 0ui ten bucks TO the govern
ment far having said "Ollve oil" or
'Abyssinia7 us farewell to a pal.
In fact. this Perfect Putnam Plan
II carried oui properly might even
result In the happy populace dig
glng up the tax money for their
taxpd hrethren voluntarily. with
song aud dance. instead Of giving
The government a song and dance
nbout not helng able to pas at all,
lhe way a lot Of them do now.
Rni an this depends on my plan
being carried out. aud don't mean
feet first either.
. Nina wncoH Putnam.-wNU ssrvies.