The Washington times., 1935-07-16
NOW
Why Richberg
Is Unhappy
SUN-TAN TIPS
BY HELEN ESSARY

$1,000
discovered him in a bathing
suit ensemble under a gay UNI
brella, with his charming wife,
Florence, and his daughter,
Eloise, beside him, sat with
brows drawn together, brood
ing. said:
"What is wrong? The NRA
Is behind you. The world, GER
tainIy the Atlantic Ocean, is
before you. Why are you un-
happy?"
Mr.. Richberg wriggled little
In his beach chair and replied:
"Why am unhappy? Why
rs anybody unhappy at the sea-
shore? The general answer is
-sunburn. 1 could express my.
self indefinitely on the subject
Of sunburn."
/ said:
ooh, please do, Mr.. Richberg.
Think out loud and shall take
down your noble thoughts"
Mr.. Richberg began talking
in an absent-minded sort of
way. Here is what he said:
Sunburn is a matter of no
Importance to 114,622, 492 peo-
pie most of the time. But-in
July and August-it becomes a
matter of first Importance to
11,378,518 people who go to the
seashore for a few days or
weeks.
Becoming conscious for the
first time of the flabby, paSty
look of hitherto sheltered flesh
suddenly exposed to public view,
millions of practically naked
men, women and children crowd
the beaches, desperately striv.
ing to acquire a personable tan.
The job cannot be done eff.
ficiently and safely in one day.
But the delicate shade Of the
boiled lobster can be acquired
in a few hours by anyone Suf-
ficiently ignorant to attempt it.
There are oils to be rubbed in
before exposure and creams to
be lathered on after exposure,
which will mitigate the agony
but no way has yet been found
to get sunburn without paying
for it. The price is either
patience or pain.
The effect of good, healthy
sunburn on the disposition is
sudden and profound. The kind
father, the gentle mother and
the angelic child are trans
formed rapidly under surplus
of violet rays. They become
''touchy"-to put it mildly
sensitive even to hard looks and
rough language - sensitive to
anything that would ruffle the
tranquility of a finger bowl.
Yet the passion for a coat Of
tan persists and the bliStered
shoulders, the beacon light nose
and the tortured shin-bone are
regularly exposed at the bath
ing hours-until the rising tide
of color" has submerged the
white race in all the coastal
States-and spread the influ-
ence of a brown culture as far
inland as the automobile can
carry it.
For the benefit of the casual
visitor, not trained by an annual
pilgrimage to the shore, a few
helpful "don'ts" may be written
down.
Don't wear a hat, cap or any
other head protector. It will be
regarded as a vain assumption
that you have brains worthy Of
protection.
Don't cover yourself with a
bathrobe, towel or other evil
dence of weakness or shallow
modeSty. The way to get prop
erly burned is to give the sun
b chance and let nature take
its course. And nature in the
raw is seldom mild (adv.).
Don't stay under an umbrella.
You can rent or buy one to
show that you have the price;
but only the unSophisticated
will use parasol for protection.
Don't spend much time in
the water. You only get half
burned that way. The water is
something to look at and to
talk about-but not to be played
with.
Don't battle in the early
morning or late afternoon when
it is most comfortable. The
best time for bathing is be.
tween IL a. m. and 3 D. M.
when the sun is most deadly
and the beach is most crowded,
Don't wear colored glasses.
You will Squint anyway and a
good pair of glasses may keep
you from getting blisters on
your eyelidS-which is almost
the height of sunburning success.
Don't spend the whole sum.
mer at the seaShore, because
after you get tanned all over
there will be very little left for
you to do or talk about. You
can get a good tan in two weeks
and then go back to town and
brag about 1t in comfort.
Don't take any advice. Don't
take this advice. Don't
look for trouble. It won't be