davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1935-02-01
Fancy Dress
By Robert BenchLey

An invitation has just come
in by position to a fancy dress
ball which is being given in
honor of a sur-realiste painter
who deals exclusively in dream
subjects. The stipulation is
that everyone shall be dressed
to represent a dream of some
sort.
Although ordinarily I do not
go even to regular dances where
white ties and tails are obliga-
tory, to say nothing of button
ing myself into a crusaders
outfit, I am tempted to show up
at this one and give the boys
and girls treat, for am fresh
from a series of dream expert
ences that were honeyS. think
that I have some new material.
Anyone who has recently gone
through the current epidemic Of
what are known as "grippy
colds" will understand. Those
dreams that you have when
you are in bed with a slight
fever and a system full of as
pirin, with the sheets wrapped
around your Shins and the
blankets open at the back, those
dreams would make any fancy
dress ball riot. The trouble
would come in explaining to the
coStumer just what you wanted.
There was one dream which,
I would estimate, went on from
two a. m. until shortly before
noon, in which I was giving a
party for Miss Tallaulah Bank.
head. I say that 1 was giving,
the party. I was the party. I
was the actual, physical mani
festation Of a rather elaborate
buffet supper. Perhaps I do
not make myself clear.
was divided into shelves, like
one of those "curate's assist
ants" on which mullins, cakes
and bread-and butter sandwiches
are passed around at afternoon
teas. On the main shelf, which
was around my waist, were the
heavier articles of diet, such as
stuffed whole salmon, hams, cold
turkeys and molds in the shape
of airplaneS.
Above that, around my chest,
came the goodies, little cakes,
bon-bons and gatteaux of foreign
manufacture, all very expensive.
Around my neck ran a shelf Of
sailed almonds. olives, potato
chips and radiSheS. I think
that there were lighted candles
on this shelf as we'll.
The action Of the dream
came in trying to find room
for the hot dishes when they
were brought on. Walters came
and stood with Steaming chat
ing dishes full of chicken a la
king and lobster Americana
(when 1 give a party, I give it
right, but there seemed to be
no place on which to set them.
The Washington times., 1935-02-01

hiram r. Ma1lm 1OrCy Dr1S44G'
est stars in all the sky. Only a
short time ago this little point
of light was so faint that sew
eral hours exposure in a fairly
large telescope was necessary IN
order to make a visible record
on a Photographic plate. :,
Astronomers are amazed, ana
declare that a terrific explosion
or collision must have occurred
but occurred a long time ago,
for light waves, travelling at the
rate of 10000 miles per sec"
ond, have been 1900 years
bringing us the news OF this
celestial accident"
ENORMOUS NOVA
An outburst of this sort is
known as a nova. This particu-
lar one is unusual because OF
it's enormous size. DR.. Harlow
Shapley of Harvard Observatory
is quoted as saying it may be
the most important nova ever
observed from Earth.
The largest nova in history
was observed in 1872 by Tycho,
before the days of the telescope.
It equalled our sister planet
Venus in brilliancy and was
visible in the full daylight. In
a single day it burst into full
blaze, then faded slowly, in
six months becoming invisible.
In 1904 Kepler saw another.
It burst into a light that
equalled that from Jupiter, and
remained visible to the unaided
eye for eighteen months. This
means a brilliancy $4,000 times
that of our sun.
Over so of these novae have
been recorded up to 1928, the
majority in the present century.
Those which have occurred in
recent years have been observed
with modern instruments.
Nova Acquilae for 80 years
appeared in photographs as a
well-behaved faint star of the
eleventh magnitude, which is
100 times fainter than the
faintest star visible to the
naked eye. On the night of
June 5, 1918, it was normal.
Two nights later, on June 7,
while visible to the unaided
eye, it was doubling its lumi-
Mostly every hour. BY the
next night it was a firSt-magni.
tude star, excelling great Ant
ares in brilliancy.
Three days later 1t was the
The Washington times., 1935-02-01

minority groups from forcing
action.
Lemke's petition apparently
will be the first one entered in
the hope of securing conSidera.
ton.
Although Lemk, is using vari-
Gus strategieS to enlist his col.
leagues in an army of SignerS,
he needs one member more than
exactly one-half Of the entire
House membership.
Last session Lemke had trOu.
BILE securing las signerS, so he is
likely to have an extremely diff
cult time in finding 218 men who
will attach their names to his
petition.
President Roosevelt may be
the recipient of popular acclaim
but he is in for a severe razzing
on March %.
White House correspondents
gathering for one of their an
nual banquetS plan to make a
motion picture actor out of the
Chief Executive.
In the studios of various news.
reel organizations in New York
are millions of feet of film
showing the President in vari.
GUS poses.
The film is to be cut and
about a thousand feet will be
used.
Trick sound effects will be Sc.
cured and at the correspondents
dinner it will be shown with
the President making all sorts
Of ridiculous speeches and
statements.
Considerable has been said
concerning the ability of the
women members of the House
of Representatives.
Not necessarily typical Of
their ponderous ponderings but
slightly Illuminating was a re-
The Washington times., 1935-02-01

eight months was again invisi.
BILE to the naked eye.
Today, after IA years, it is
back where it was before the
outburSt, although it's surface
temperature is from two to
three times higher than it was
before the outburst.
DISCONCERTING
These outbursts are not I'm.
usual. If we were on the watch
day and night we should proba-
bly, find an average of about 20
a day.
Being so common, there is
probably one cause for all OF
them. We do not know what
this is as yet, but it has been
suggested that the occurrence
can be quite normal among
stars, and that any star at any
moment may burst.
This would be diSconcerting to
the Earthians, were it not for
the fact that our Earth's pres.
ence is evidence that our Sun
has had it's bursting adventure.
Indeed, it is generally &C
copied as fact that, in the case
of our Sun, this bursting process
resulted in the present Solar
System.
If this be so. may it not fol-
low that the various outbursts
which we see going on con-
stantly in the sky are new Solar
Systems in the making?
Copyright, 1888, by King Features
Syndicate. Inc.)
Articles by Hiram Percy
Maxim appear each Monday,
Wednesday and Friday. The
subject of the next will be
"Modern Scientific Room Causes
Terror"
The Washington times., 1935-02-01
Revision of Parole Law
The Otter Bill

The bill for revision of the parole system in the District
introduced by Representative Otter of Pennsylvania affords
opportunity for and realistic discussion of subject
that too often is left to theory and sentiment
The Otter bill provides method of selecting members
of the parole board and provides for greater publicity of
applications for parole
has been obvious since the present parole law
acted that there flaws either in the law itself in the
manner in which it has operated
These flaws have tended to dsredt the entire parole
system and have provoked widespread discussion of the ad
visibility of repeating the local parole law and throwing the
responsibility Of administering local paroles back upon the
Federal Government
Representative Otter prefers instead to strengthen the
local law and leave the handling of local prisoners to local
and would have two justices of the District Supreme Court
the board.
There many commendable points in the Otter bill al
though there probably details that could be improved
The measure, however gives jumping off place
from which should be able to bring the granting of
paroles down to reason.
The Washington times., 1935-02-01
Once-Overs
Why Force Dad to
''Dress Up?

Don't try to force Dad to
"dreSs up"
He does not feel comfortable
in the "dressy" clothes some
men wear.
He likes the old-fashioned
styles better than any you
would have him wear-hasn't
he a right to be comfortable?
His desire to have the other
members of the family dress
better is often back Of his ap-
parent wish to wear his old
clothes.
He would rather please you
than make a better appearance
himself.
That puts a different light
on the matter, doesn't it?
Isn't it a fact that it is
really selfishneSS on your part
that makes you want Dad to
wear better and more modish
clothes?
You are not thinking of his
comfort at all-you want him
to show off.
Stop nagging; let Dad be
boss of his own personal ap.
pearance.
He will be more comfortable
and better pleased.
Copyright 1885. by King Features
Syndicate, 1nc.)
The Washington times., 1935-02-01
Listen, World
BIZ Elsie Robinson

$50 we all go back to the
sidewalks to chew the rag.
We're the fellows who stand
around and listen to the soap
box speakers. We feel and in.
hale the heat of revolutionary
"Ism's." We dream in the
spell of proletarian Commun.
ism. Our blood boils with envy,
hate, angered injustice.
Behold us!. . We're all mem
bers of the Who gives a DAMN
club. We're not the college fel.
lows who jazz around in family
cars-With family allowances.
We're not the kids who work in
papa's store. We're the be.
wildered-the YOUTH"
Youth-"the hope Of the
world? Yes-but suppose the
Older Generation. by its mess
ing and muddling, by its greedi-
ness and coWardice, deprives
Youth of its right to HAVE a
hope or BE one? Suppose it so
wrecks the world that there is
no place waiting for YOUTH
except the tragic dangerous
place in the gutter by the soap
box orator, feeling and inhal.
ing the heat of revolutionary
"Ism's"-?
Not like we were? OF course
they're not. But we didn't roam
the world, a homeless army OF
boys and girls, 100000 of us,
when we were II. We didn't
have to forage, like starving
brutes, for food and shelter
snatching at spoiled crusts of
bread or fouled moments of
love.
THE ANSWER
Our world was simple and
hard-but it had law and Or
der-it had idealS-above all
it had a FUTURE. If you were
an apprentice, at $14.50 a week,
you were, at least, getting some
where. You had pride-you
naQ nope.
BUT WHERE ARE THESE
CHILDREN GETTING? OF
HAT CAN THEY BE
PROUD? FOR WHAT CAN
THEY HOPE?
The threat of Communism
we blame them for that. Shake
our heads angrily when we see
mobs of 16 and 18-year-old
youngsters ganging the police.
But who and what has driven
them to this recklessness? What
have we done to that orderly,
just world for which our
fathers died-that world which
once made the idea of Com
munism seem ridiculous?
A bitter article. But what's
the answer? Do you know it?
Copyright. 1895, by King Features
Syndicate, Inc.)
The Washington times., 1935-02-01

"That suggestion proves con-
clusively that the Senate was
wise when it rejected the
League Court. We have this
internal tendency to NEEDLE in
international affairs and tie
ourselves up to other nations"
Although Roper suggested
that his plan be tried out with
cotton first, it advocated eX-
tension to other commodities.
Coming on the heels OF the
League Court rejection, it UGS
not received tOith an excess OF
tGUor.
The ability of a minority to
force vote on legislation
which does not have Admins
tratiOn approval is to be tested
in the House.
epub lean Representative
William Lemke of North Dakota
is vigorously campaigning for
action on his Farmers Farm
Relief Act" known as the
Frazier-Lemke bill, which has
been pigeon-holed in the Agri-
culture Committee.
Under the REVISED rules of the
House, Lenke must cecure 218
Signers on a discharge petition
(which Mould force cOnSiderG-
ton of his bill.
Last session rules provided
that only 145 SignerS were nee
eSSGry, but leaders frightened
the regulations so as to stop
The Washington times., 1935-02-01

best part of it was that, so
far as I could see, not a drop
of liquor was served.
Now, if I could go to that
fancy-dress ball as a walking
buffet table I'll bet I would es-
tablish myself as top Sur-real-
iste of the world. But the ex-
pense would be almost prohibit
tive. I could get the shelves
built around me all right, but
how about that collation.? It's
all very well to do a thing like
that in a dream, but real ca
terers are very practical people.
I might have just cold ham
and potato salad and do with
out the hot dishes on my head.
I certainly would insist on not
lighting the candles. But, even
at that, how would I ever get
a chance to dance?
guess I'll give the whole
thing up and not go to the
party at all. 1t would be more
bother than it was worth, I
guess.
Copyright, 1885. by King Features
Syndicate, Inc.)
Articles By Robert BenchEey
appear each Monday, WedneS-
day and Friday.
The Washington times., 1935-02-01
The Greatest Show
On Earth
By John Snure, Jr.

Secretary Of Commerce Dan.
lei Roper has been talking to
too many brain trusters."
This lDGS a widespread opin-
ION on Cdpitol Hill following
receipt of Roper'S suggestion
tor an international commodity
congress to determine produc.
ton OF all member nations.
Roper's suggestion to the Sen.
ate Committee on Agriculture
advocated the setting up of such
an international organization,
saying that representatives of
various countries could agree
on the production of each and
end the danger of SurpluSeS
The Washington times., 1935-02-01

Oldsters' goats when we were
young. But there is-you pro-
test-something in these young
sters which wasn't in us. A
hardness we didn't haVe-a re-
Sentment-a contempt for es-
tablished law and order. Worst
of all, a sort of vicious indif-
ference-as though they lacked
al pride or ambition.
UGLY QUESTION
Yes, I suppose there is. But
who put it there? There's the
ugly question that runs through
that article I'm going to quote.
Not room for it all, but even a
little of it packs a powerful wal
lop. Listen
stop gripping about the
younger generation, will you?
I'm fed up on it! A wild crowd,
you say? They have no morals
no decency. They're radical,
ungrateful, diSrespectful. Stop
talking so much, and do some
thing about it!
"Sure, some of us have worked
and do work! But work at
what? I'll tell you! Old two
bit jobs-12 hours a day-one
dollar a day. No future. Moth
ing interesting. Not like the
kids in other days, who could
become apprentices in trades.
And man-what a sock these
lousy jobs are on ambition!
"You say, Why don't you
keep your jobs?' Well, most of
us get canned for picking up
little loose change. You see
you spend most of your money
on carfare and lunch. You buy
a new suit-get in debt for keep
ing your clothes pressed. Yeah
look nice-eat-live-on one
hundred cents day!
The Washington times., 1935-02-01
An Old-FashiOned Country
1t Remembers Humanity

John Rockefeller r has quietly and without any fuss at
all turned another million dollars the vast fund he has
already contributed for the benefit Of scientific research
This time the money in the form of entire block land
in New York. which to be used for medical research It's
outright gift
Our oldfashioned American capitalism" called still
to believe in healing and helping mankind unlike the
Soviet Utopia which shoots down all who disagree with its
peculiar doctrines.
The Washington times., 1935-02-01

until one ar
rived in my
m all tn i S
morning. But
there's an I'M
signed article
in that copy
which I'd like
to We to
ev cry man
a n d woman
in America.
70 ungsters
IT h e y g e t
70 ur goat,
don't tn e y?
just as you
o~I r ~of Nrr
The Washington times., 1935-02-01

The pro-
posal, which
is similar to
the old quota
plan, was re-
C iv e d by
Senator Les
ter j. Dickin-
son (R.) Of
Iowa, whence
comes the so
cialiStic Sec
rotary of Ag.
riculture Hen
ry A. w a J.
lace, with the
ra~orly.
The Washington times., 1935-02-01
Pay Restoration Voted
CONGRESS Acts
Congress Acts


Congress has done the wise and sensible thing.
The Senate and House have both decreed that the dpres
ing wage shall end April and the bill carrying this
decision will shortly be ready for the Presidents signature
There to be little doubt that President Roosevelt will
approve the
The restoration would have become effective July
under the provisions of the appropriation bills for
and the action of Congress comparatively little to the
Federal workers far actual money is concerned
But the approval of restoration by Congress is important
in that it wipes out the attempt to link Government
salary scales with the "cost Of living"
This of living theory given legislative counte
because somebody had the idea that IT SOUNDED
GOOD and would give cloak Of decency the ndefensbe
pay cut.
The theory has proven to be TOTALLY nGPRAcT1CABLE
just The Times predicted when it adopted.
By voting to restore Federal salaries Congress has
trbued heavily to the end of the depression It has
nounced that the Government will longer be party
the process of wage cutting
Many employers used the Federal salary cut
for cutting in private industry They
took the position that IF Congress do it why we?
That excuse has been removed. No longer in
dusy maintain that in cutting salaries has been following
the example of the Federal Government.
The Washington times., 1935-02-01

There's plenty of ROOM" I
said, cheerily, "just put them
on my head"
And, though you may not be-
lieve it, a rather large tray
was found on the top of my
head, on which were placed the
chatting dishes and even an
elaborate birthday cake IN the
shape of the Tai Mahal-in
fact, I think it was the Tai
Mahal.
isn't he marvelous!" every
one was saying. What a
host!" Even 1 had to admit
that everything was going swim
mingly, although the candles
were getting a little warm
around my ears.
l forgot how the party broke
up, possibly by my tripping and
falling, but I do know that it
was a huge success. A great
many people congratulated me,
and climbed up on the shelves
themselves to play guessing
games and tell stories. And the
The Washington times., 1935-02-01

the so-called
outburst of a
star. Recent
ly we have
heard that a
star in Her.
C VI es h a s
burst in to
flame, and
stepped out
from its SEEM
ingly insignlfi-
c a n t status
beyond the
reach Of the
naked eye, to
one of the
c4.. A.aSnAA
The Washington times., 1935-02-01

marked: Hep' Mary I. Norton
"We need some hot air
around here"
Mrs. Norton wisely replied:
"TOO much hot air around
here already"
Copyright, 1895, The Washington
Times)
The Washington times., 1935-02-01
Spelling Bees Are Doomed
When They Pull SYZYGY on You

The odashoned spelling bee which to be good and
good education, too is doomed
It can't long survive such words yzygy which pped up
all the contestants American Womens Association spell
ing match.
sygy described as "a very simple astronomical term
meaning the point Of orbit at which planet is in conunc
tion opposition
So you didn't know that one? Well neither did we
The Washington times., 1935-02-01

brightest of all fixed stars ex.
cept Sirius. In three days it
had increased its brilliance
100000 times, or from four
The Washington times., 1935-02-01
NeWs of "CeLestiaL accident" Travels Fast
But Is 1900 Years Arrivinq

times the luminosity of our sun
to 100000 times. In Is days
it had faded to one-fifth of its
maximum brightness, and in
The Washington times., 1935-02-01
Who's To Blame?

Down in San Antonio, Tex,
some young people have start
ed a YOUTH REVIEW MAGA.
ZINE" I don't know a thing
about it - never saw a COPY
The Washington times., 1935-02-01
Words of Wise Men

Let fcton meant to please be the ruthHoace
When we do not act the gods abandon us>-voltaire
friend should bear his friends
There Is no love sncerer than the love of God-shaw
The Washington times., 1935-02-01

cent CONVEX
S a on be-
tween Repre-
S e n t a tiv e
Mary T. Nor
on, Demo
GRAFT of New
Jersey, a n d
R e p resenta-
tive Virginia
E. Jenckes,
Democrat, of
Indiana.
In a chilly
CO m m i t tee
roo m, Mrs.
JenckeS re-
marked.
The Washington times., 1935-02-01
Hiram Percy Maxim

Stars sometimes seem to us
to come and go, but astronomers
recognize a great significance in
The Washington times., 1935-02-01
Entirely Too Noisy
Every Morning

thousand guests at antnoise meeting shouted at the
top Of their lungs and registered only ITO decbe
thermometer" small machine was set in motion and
although seemed less noisy registered the same number of
decbels.
Mechanical noises the point bother and shake us UP
more than human noises You're telling us? Haven't we an
alarm clock?
The Washington times., 1935-02-01
OLD FAVORITES
Daisies

U0ISIeS Bliss C1TN1UN
Over The shoulders and slopes of the dune
saw the white daisies go down to the sea-
host in the sunshine an army in June,
The people God sends to set our heart Free
The bobolinks rallied them up from the dell
The orioles whistled them out of the wood
And all of their saying was, Earth, it is well!
And all of their dancing was, Life, thou art good!"
(Readers ivted to send to the editor their suo-
1esoms of old favortes among the poems for reprnting
IN this spdce)
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1935-08-29

OPEN-49 GIRARD ST. NE.-DAILY.
SiX-room Colonial brick house with two
inclosed heated porches; easily arranged
for two families making the home pay
for itself Newly decorated. new oil
burner Ideally located facing Soldiers
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1935-08-29

Five lovely rooms on first floor; stone
fireplace oak floors. tile bath NV h.. large
attic and basement. Direct from owner
and builder. Terms. Drive out Sligo ave.
from Silver Spring through Sligo Park to
Greenwood ave. turn right to house. Phone
S. T. GIBSON. Silver Spring DIR.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1935-08-29
132 KENTUCKY AVE Sc.
Three rooms and private bath; electric

DUPONT CIRCLE, 1925 10th ST-THREE
rooms. kitchenette and bath; newly deco
rated: all convenienceS; adults.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1935-08-29
OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES

ATTRACTIVE BARGAIN.
4-room bath, modern apt. Frigidaire,
$50. SO; near Govt. depts. S04 23rd.
2I1G KALORAMA RID. N.W.-yERY De
sirable; rooms, kitchen and baths. )
exposures, refrigeration on house current,
elevator Resident manager.
RANDALL H. HAGNER CO, INC,
1921 Conn Ave. Phone Decatur 5000.
CONVENIENT PLEASANT LOCATION; 2nd
floor 3 rooms. ami. Frigidaire, gas stove,
sink; garage. Phone Hyattsville SLEW.
18th AND COL. RID ROOMS. KrTcH-
en-. private bath; entire floor ami;
adults only; $3.50. 246l 18th st.
BED ROOMS, DINING ROOM, RECEP,
ton room and foyer: KITCHEN; pantry and
Co. INC 1919 Sc. NV District 1Oi7.
DOWNTOWN. 100 18th ST. NW.-AT-
trsctive 4 rooms. k. and b.. cleo. refrig;
RANDALL II. HAGNER CO. INC.
1921 Conn. Ave: Phone Decatur 5000.
lTI7 COLUMBIA RID. NW.-ATTRACIIVE
Groom. kitchen and bath apt porch. Frig-
idaire. $50: available Sept. /; adults only.
3 OUTSIDE ROOMS. BATH; C.H.W.. ELEC..
eaS. Frisidaire included: adults; concession
to employed couple. 1900 Newton St NV.
COPLEY COURTS. 1914 18th ST: NV
Switchboard. elevator. free refrigeration
and gas; spacious Q and rooms. corner
spts.. large foyer and closets.