Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1935-06-22

- NN@@~~~
early impetuous marriage
forever bar O man from any
49, further happiness II 1t turns
out disastrously? I married when I
was only boy, just out Of college,
and the marriage has been q failure.
Two incompatible natures that could
not adjust themselves to each other,
and my wife and I have gone our
different ways and sought our differ
emit pleasures. She does not love me
nor her, but she will not divorce me
under any circumstances. have
found my mate, the woman Of my
dreams. We have told my wife Of
our love, but she refuses TO let me
90, and for fear Of scandal which
would wreck everybody, for this girl
is the sole support Of her family, she
will not meet me any more or answer
my letters.
Now, shall ! 60 On living with my
wife, with love turning to hate, or
shall make Q break and go TO the
girl? She would welcome me II I
were free. Have I right to her love,
or must I bow to convntionality and
carry on as am? ]. H.
A NswER: But the trouble is, J. H.,
that you are not free and appar-
entity have no chance of becoming
free. Your wife Is adopting the dog
in-the-manger attitude and, while she
doesn't want you herself, she is de-
termined that no other woman shall
have you. That Is many q woman's
revenge on her husband for having
tired Of her.
It has been said that we are more
bitterly punished for our mistakes
statement applies to nothing 50 truly
as it does to boy-and-girl marriages.
So many fine youngsters, who have in
themselves such possibilities Of hap
pineSS and success, wreck their lives
by marrying before they have come to
themselves, before they have devel-
oped in character and taste, before
they know what they are going to
demand IN their mates. They are in
love with love and they tt ink that
their passing fancy Is the grand pas
sion. In their inexperience they think
that they can never change, and that
when they are mature they will not
want something more than the callow
pipsqueaks and dappers they are
enamored of at the moment.
60 THEY marry and they grow up,
and in the great majority OF cases
tragedy ensues. They outgrow their
mates, they are bored by them, they
have different tastes and desires, and
the terrible punishment Of their
youthful folly Is that they are
chained for Life to dead loves.
Nor Is this the worst Of it, for al
most invariably when it is too late
they fall In love with some woman or
man who meets their adult needs and
who gives them the understanding
and sympathy and companionship for
which they are starving. and for
whom they have not o childish crush,
but an affection that will never die.
Then, indeed. they know that the
poet spoke truly when he said that
the bitterest words ever uttered were
1T might have BEEN"
WHAT the man and woman caught
in this cruel coil should do,
no one knows. It seems q pitiful
thing for them to have to pay all
their lives for youthful mistake and
to be denied the love and companion
ship that would not only bring them
happiness but make them better men
and women. But we have to pay the
price Of our follies, and those who
have children have no right to take
their good at the expense Of the little
ones they have brought into the
world.
In your case, j. H., there is not
even a chance Of escape through the
divorce court. Your wife has shut
that door in your face and so I think
that your line of conduct toward this
girl that you love, but cannot marry,
is clearly marked out. She has had
the courage to break with you. Let her
alone. Let her readjust her life and
forget you If she can. It is o hard thing
to do, but often it Is the duty Of man
| to protect the woman he loves against
himself. DOROTHY DIX.
lDEAR DOROTHY DIX am q girl
who Is in love with a young
man who has deserted me for another
girl. He was crazy about me until
he heard some scandal, which wasn't
true, about me. He Immediately drop
ped me and now has another girl he
is just wild about, but his friends tel
me he stil talks about me lot. What
shall do? Let things go on as they
are or speak to him about this affair 2
Please help me, as I am quite de-
pressed. b. M. C.
Answer: Do not humiliate yourself
by making any effort to get the boy
back. Evidently it would do no good
as he has already consoled himself
with another. He couldn't have been
very seriously in love with you If he
let you go SO easily.
IT Is easy enough to hndle the fire
= Of love, but when it has once gone
| %o1uxMe