Worcester Democrat and the ledger-enterprise. (Pocomoke City, Md.) 1921-1953, 1935-03-15
~
from the
Democrats Pen

Jones, of Washington College, mas
gone in for politics; he wants to be
a member of the Chestertown City
Council from his ward.
You know, 1 think he's been reading
a whole lot about this "Brain Trust"
and he's become affected in some way
with the germ. He thinks these gov
ernments. national, municipal, rural,
or any other kind ought to SO collie
giate once in while. Mebby so!
Nebby so!
Well, all I got to say is, that If
he ever gets into that office it's going
to be run, so far as he is concerned,
according to the laws of mathematics
He's been teaching that exact science
so long, he thinks in lines, angles,
curves, tangents, sines, co-sines,
squares, cubes, solids, areas, surds,
and absurds (no, that was slip.) I'll
bet two bits that when he goes down
the street and turns a corner, he's
calculating just what the circumfer-
ence of the circle would be if the arc
he made in turning were extended
until it's two ends met around point
within, called the center.
Either that, or he stops for an in
slant, turns in a military way, and
then goes to figuring whether he made
q right, obtuse, or acute angle, and
Just what the superficial area would
be if he were to complete the four
sides of the geometrical figure, TAX
ing the city blocks as basis. Why,
I'll wager, by this time, he's got a
surveyors plat of his ward, divided
up into squares and sections, with
thumb tacks all over it indicating the
number of houses and the voters, and
he's calculating just how many min
utes he has between now and election
day to see each one. Then he has a
tabulated score at home indicating
certain possibilities-for, against, or
doubtful. And it's likely on election
day, as the hours for poll closing
comes, he's calculating whether an
opposition voter has time to make the
number of steps from his home to the
voting place, before the boxes are
closed; or whether a belated motor
man has the number of gallons of gas
in his tank to negotiate the distance
multiplying the horse power by the
number of revolutions of the motor
and dividing this into the distance to
be covered.
Now. Jonesey may think the reason
1 haven't gone into politics is, that
don't know any more about it than I
do about mathematics; and he's just
right about that; he doesn't have to ap
ply any system of demonstration to
prove it. But conversely, he needn't
think his knowledge of Math is going
to get him anywhere in a political
campaign. He'll find somebody ready
to say he doesn't know darned thing
about Calculus, Plane or Solid Geom-
etry, Trigonometry or even the lowly
Arithmetic, and if he'd had his des-
erts, he'd be on the "Relief" digging
mosquito drains down on the marshes
of old Somerset. That's politics that
is; everything goes.
Now, I see that Harry Russell calls
him a lone wolf, running in the
Fourth Ward. And, further-som-
more, Harry says the Dean is back
ed by some of the good ladies in that
bailiwick. Now, I wouldn't say any
of these nice ladies have any designs
upon him. But the Professor has a
real nice home up there on the Avenue,
and-well, nobody to take charge
of it regularly in a feminine way; so,
why not? And, if he doesn't watch
out, he'll have to be not only wolf
but a whole menagerie to protect
himself. You know, you have to
promise a whole lot of things to get
votes, and I'd advise him to be care
ful how many promises he makes to
the weaker CD sex-it's sort of dan
gerous to break 'em.
How-some-ever, I don't know how
the election is going to turn out, but
know this: the other two men run
ming in the same ward against the
Dean, had better watch or the "Col-
legiate" will calculate 'em to death;
and if that should happen, Chester
town is going to get a mighty good
man to help guide it's affairs. No
citizen will ever have any difficulty to
know where the Professor is at; and
if I know anything about him, he'll
always be on the side of the right.
The city should elect him.