The Washington times., 1935-11-11
NOW
MuSSOIini GiUen
A Real Tip
FAMILY TREES
BY HELEN EsSARY

AAoy SOAAANSA eFAANA SOASSAANS
pia and the new crop of Ethio-
plans may be cafe au lait.
On the other hand, Italy may
never conquer Ethiopia.
MusSolini may be more like
General Braddock than julius
CeaSar.
It gives me great pleasure to
speak of General Braddock.
1 once studied intensely the
career of the English general
who was sent to the colonies to
mop up the French and Indians.
For days I thought Of no one but
General Braddock.
When other people were hap
PLY discussing hathtub gin and
new automobiles and how much
they were going to make in Wall
Street, I set on the edge of my
chair and waited to crash the
conversation with:
"Er-er-Speaking Of General
Braddock."
Well-speaking Of General
Braddock today-it is remotely
possible that the slick italian
troops may have the same ex-
perience in the wilds of Ethiopia
that General Braddock's super
men had in the backwoods OF
America.
General Braddock was positive
that he was invincible. Before
the battle Of Fort Duquesne
(where Pittsburgh now is) he or
dered his warriors to put on their
flaming red coats and their plumed
hats and polish UP their swords.
The band he set to playing
"Hail to the Chief Who in Tri-
umph Advances" Once the "con'
uuerors" were out of the woods,
the French and Indians, who
cared nothing for formal warfare
or martial music, shot at them
from behind rocks and tree
StumpS.
The Red Coats, poor devils. fell
as fast as the sharpshooterS
could load their rifles.
So-speaking Of Mussolinl.
Speaking of garments of victory,
We were discussing at the Ray
mond Gram Swings the other
night the disapproval Of visiting
Parisians of the summer wedding
garments of American bride
groomS.
"A bridegroom in white trou-
sers? Horrible! Barbarous!"
said the Frenchmen. THE bride
should wear white. Certainly.
But the bridegroom should be en-
tirely in black"
Perhaps to a Frenchman, mar
Eiage is a bereavement.
Continuing on the tragic note
A man was knocked down by an
automobile yesterday. Somebody
dragged him over to the sidewalk
and laid him down with the blood
streaming from a cut in his head.
It was just a coincidence,
naturally. But the wounded head
rested in the Kiwanis Club Safety
Campaign Footprint which said:
Don't Get Hurt"
Who was your great grand
mother before her marriage?
You can't remember? So much
the better, if you are looking for
q job up in New England.
Mrs. James Branch Cabeu
knows d young Virginian who
asked for a teaching job in a
Vermont Academy. The Virginian
explained in detail that he was
the grandson of the former Gov
ernor of his State, and a great
great-great-nephew of a diStin-
guished Revolutionary general.
The president of the Yankee
college looked at the young Vir-
sinian coldly, and said:
BE specific about your aca-
demic credentials if you have any.
We do not wish to breed you but
to have you teach"
On one wan of the conference
room of the Labor Department
are two clocks ticking like mad
ell day and all night.
They tell me that the archi-
tect's plan for the Labor Building
called for clock every so many
feet. In accordance with the
contract, two clocks were put on
the especially long conference
room wall.
Here is situation in which, I
think, a little imagination might
be set to practical use. One clock
might be kept at Washington
time, the other altered to suit the
taste of visitors.
For instance, when labor leaders
from California are calling to ask
Miss Perkins why they shouldn't t
"strike" in the Pacific dock yards,
clock No. 2 should be set for Cali
fornia time.
Make the visitors feel at home.
1t might save trouble.
Knowing gardeners are arrang-
ing rose beds and perennial Dor
ders. Mrs. Chandler Hale is re-
planting the roses in the 200-year-