The Omaha guide., 1935-03-09
.DOIhGS AMONG The DINING
CAR And HOTEL WATERS
By Hoppe
BY HOPPE

vi, me. On, me! i nave Tried TO
make myself safe in letting you in on
my p t secrets. and if you would ap-
preciate the same, you would, at least,
thank me. l am not a Goliath, and
| would like for you to know it rather
than to carry it to my grave where
everything else | know and Death will
be able to seal, will be plenty for me
to keep from my earthly friends, and
to answer for ov.r yonder.
| wonder if you know that an hon
est person today is just as big a mys-
ter as a tailless airplane? Sure: And
II you wish to find out do some real
honest-to-goodness deed, and it will
spread faster than a wirephoto. Try
1t. You will be completely out to
know or learn the things they say
about you. Some Of it the linotype
would be unable to print because Of
the lack Of type.
Here it is: | lost two good Jobs
playing the roll Of Honest John, and,
still, | play on. l guess the man was
right when he said, "Once a pancake,
always a pancake, and from what
some of them said, "Once a fool, al
ways a fool". Still l play on, and l
just can't get it out Of my head that
honesty is the best plan after all.
Last week | turn-d into the office
5000 that | found on a table. friends.
and when the men heard about it, thew
nlcknamed, misnamed and changed NV
mama from a son Of Mr.. Louis Bron-
son to the son of omeone l may never
know. To be honest will cause MANY
OF your so-called friends and pals to
go pack and get things you never
heard Of. And then when the presi-
dent said, "Give HOPPE the money!.
tn tried to ~retract, but the mud
they slung the day before was too
heavy, and it stuck to them.
Speaking of honesty. 1t pays, and
if you will let your conscience guide
you, you VIII find it pays batter, YOU
feel better, and you can act freer than
those who will tell you, Honest John
IS dead. And l would like to saw to
you, your best friend is yourself. If
you are a true friend to yourself and
treat yourself that way, you will new
er have anything to worry about. And
at the same time they will make you
the best friend you ever had. | really
believe it is impossible to b a true
friend to anyone if you are not a true
friend to yourself. And it is impos-
slble to be a friend to yourself and
go DO things that may hurt you.
May l say here, it is really a shame
what the people do to their friends.
and then laugh, play cards, and drink
with them in this town. God knows.
l don't know how they can do it. Now
| can afford to tell you at anytime,
anyplace and anywhere because nv
LIE among you stands as an open book
and will stand a test at any time. But
80 per cent of you, if you would throw
open your book, the only thing YOU
could say is, 'Oh', and sing, so a
shame. | don't know how you can do
1t, and then brag about it. | do believe
II the pastors Of the churches would
preach to you about your earthly do
lngs, and treat you as you deserve to
o. treated and prepare you to live the
life here on earth, they would do more
to help God and make God happier
than trying to get you ready for Gods
Kingdom. No n can do and live as
some of you here in Omaha and even
expect to live in Gods Kingdom or any
place else without breaking it up.
You may not like this, but it is true.
n it seems as if it is what you call
class. Well, maybe it is. There are
all kind Of classes, believe me. in
Omaha. All, ha!
Listen to this one. When i >
safety pin safe? Huh,-Answer:
When it is closed. Right? When is
a friend safe, huh? When the friend
ship is closed. Right?
Happened to be out to the club last
Saturday night, and Mr.. Branch tells
me lots of news for you were out.
loo bad, because I know you eniov
Keeping up with all of this late SER
Vice ana dolngs. Everything late
while 1t is late, hot while it is hot.
Get this. Hitting the come back
trail: An extra waiter Saturday night
got an oyster fork and changed q
lobster from lobster to sea food cock
tail, and used the body as a set I'D.
Mr.. Mckinley felt sorry for him. and
went to his assistance and placed the
claws where the guest could see them
SO they could at least see that thew
were eating lobster. Some Of them
instead Of trying the come back trail.
should be looking for the "Trail of the
Lonesome Pine. ooh, Mama. old. but
still your boy.
Did they ever tell you how many
Fishers at the Paxton? Well, if the
whole south side could be a pond. it
would be full Of Fishers. In fact.
when time m for them to open