The Hardin tribune-herald. [volume] (Hardin, Mont.) 1925-1973, 1935-05-31
The Wedding Of the Ham and the Egg Walter Woods

going t have another wedding" he an.
nounced. And we'll go through 1t Jus'
as We did before. 10 laughing, no KID
ding this time. It's serious to them' TO-
memberl"
There was a general murmur OF ex-
element. It was novel. It was unusual.
One could depend on Danny for some
thing out Of the ordinary.
The Judge hung up the receiver with
an air Of satisfaction :.
Mrs. Jessup hung up and turned to the
young couple. THE Judge a "
know If you'd mind going over and pelng
married where he is at present" sne
said. TITS a private house, quite nlce'
I hear" -
"All the same to me-" said Charlie with
a fine air Of condescending indifference
I'm sure we wouldn't mind at all
Mamie fastened to add with an at
tempt at g~raciousness.
Mrs. Jessup nodded brightly n a few
minutes later led the way to he door,
out Of the cold chill of the
chamber into the balmy air of a spring
evening; to be confronted at the curo
by a uniformed footman holding open
twin, as far as uniform was concerned
was seated stiffly at the wheel.
Charlie and Mamie, in somewhat OF
q daze, were ushered inside. The door
slammed, the footman sprang to his
seat and the car moved forward smooth
ly.
The interior of the limousine was light
ed and in each corner were longcut glass
vases filled with flowers. h cushioned
seats were SO comfortable
Mamie had a distinct feeling that
cnmathinO uyQQ yyrnnO She closed her
eyes. 1t wasn't real. she must be dream
ing.
Charlie" h said in a half frighten-
ed whisper, "ain't it swell?"
Sure is" he said suspiciously, won
der what's the gage"
cinderella sat by the cherries hearth
and the pumpkin turned into a
Beautiful coach, n how was it that
Cinderella wasn't in the least embar-
raised when ushered into the ballroom
filled with distinguished strangers? Or
was she? I've often ~wondered.)
Anyway Cinderella mean Mamie
was ushered into a fairyland Of yellow
chrysanthemums by Danny Bowman,
famous director.
While Dave Dangerfield, handsome
leading light, acting as best man, pilot
ed the awe struck Charlie from the din
ing room towards the floral bell under
which stood the judge.
Fifty guests, in evening dress, women
IN gorgeous low necked creations, lined
the way.
The distant organist, hastily summon
ed by phone, again accommodated his
good friend Danny and again sent forth
the impressive strains Of the wedding
march. The princess, I mean Mamie,
swept proudly along on the arm OF DAN
ny, her head held high, a radiant smile
on her lips, a rosy tint on her cheeks
that no makeup artist could duplicate.
She could not see herself, only the
beautifully gowned before her,
therefore. she became like them, in her
minds eye.
Charlie. sheepish, embarrassed, con-
scious of his rather shabby suit, con-
scious Of the fact that he was ridiculous
ly out-classed. shambled along aw-
kwardly beside the handsome Danger
field.
It was all so pitiful, So pathetic-no
need OF Dams warning not to laugh.
There was a tear in every eye, a sob in
many a throat.
Thu ceremony was Just as solemn, Just
as impressive as the other-the mer-
riment that followed just as gay and
lighthearted.
A punch or two, a wonderful meal
served in the patio to the newly united
and Charlie began t feel that they
weren't trying to put anything over on
him, they were a gang Of good guys,
that's what they were. And human, all
OF 'em, in spite Of their glad rags and
soup and fish, and they took to Mamie
all Of 'em-especially the men, no won
der. she was the best looking dame in the
bunch by a long shot. Her popularity
with the swells made hin puff up a bit,
she was his wife! Oh huh, his wife!
The ladies had dom their best to make
the frightened little thing feel at home,
mt the men were frankly pleased with
the flushed, pretty face and trim figure.
She's a perfect type for the part OF
Mile, in 'Hell's Hell-Cat.' said Sam
Wassit. the movie magnate. "Ain't sheP
Now I ask you?"
"A lee-tle bit too young said his
general manager and principle yes" man.
Just a lee-tle young. But she'd photo
graph like a million dollars, I bet"
Maybe you're right" said Sam. you
ought to max of her a test"
All his while Mamie was standing be-
tween them. smiling from one to the
other. feeling somehow as though she
were on the block. stripped naked by
their shrewd glances and offered for
sale.
Charlie had watched his scene out
Of the corner of his eye, he didn't know
1t but he was developing a healthy case
OF jealousy. What was the matter with
them guys, was they trying to date her
up Or something? Didn't they know
she was married.? Huh, guess he could
look after his wife, all right. He got to
MS 1eet and staggered to the group,