The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1935-01-31


he has finished COL
lege.
He loves me I am sure. Every one
says he does. We like the same
things and seem suited to one an
other. 1 would die for him gladly
and I think he might do the same
for me. But it will be some time
before we can marry, more than a
year or two. I don't think I should
go with him that long. It's wrong,
love or no love. 1 want happiness
but the right kind of happiness.
Maybe I've ruined by life. Do you
think he will come back when he is
through school? Would any one
marry me now? Shall quit him?
Or what would you do? LOST.
Answer-If you had come to me
in the beginning, I should never
have advised you to take this step,
not because it is bad per Sc, but
because of the social opprobrium
connected with it. No one can
escape the strain of living out OF
accord with the social order for
any length of time, particularly in
a community with rigid stand
ards.
1 could have told you before
hand that your peace of mind
would be shattered; that you
would feel no sense of security;
that your feeling of guilt and your
fears would outweigh the pleasure
you received. But now that the
deed is done, 1 can only point out
certain obvious facts To some
people SeXuality can be tolerated
only when surrounded by special
conditions and ceremOnialS. Logic
ally, matrimony has no power to
make a sexual act pure.
What marriage does is to make
the relationship between the sexes
socially acceptable and to force the
male to take as much response
bility as the female. Since you've
already voluntarily excused your
lover from the immediate asSump-
ton of such responsibility, 1 don't
see what is to be gained by turn
ing him down. You'd both be
miserable and nobody but moral
flagellant would advise such a
course. You have no alternative
except to trust the boy and to
make yourself so winning and de-
sirable that he finds life without
you in holy matrinlony unthink-
able. Constant tears, reproaches
and deadly gloom are scarcely
calculated to produce this reac-
ton. Sublime confidence in his
good intentions is much more
likely to succeed.
This advice is made from a
strictly practical viewpoint and
not intended to make other young
girls take the same risk. For
your personal comfort it is best
for you to know that it is far
from unusual for a man to marry
a woman with whom he has virtu-
ally lived beforehand. 1t is simply
a reaction on which it is pre-
carious to gamble. Where matri-
mOny is the goal tnere can be no
question but that girl jeopardizes
it by doing what you have done.
Dear Jane Jordan-I met him at
one of our club dances. He seems to
enjoy dancing with me but we can't
carry on a conversation with each
other. I do not find it difficult to
talk to other boys, but when am
with him I don't know what to
say. He seems interested yet he
won't break the ice either.
He is the ever-popular type, with
magnetic personality, wit and an
amazing sense Of humor. My friends
say I have a sweet, rather shy dis
position with about so MOODS for
one evening. He is 20, am 18 Tell
me how can get better acquainted
without showing too much interest
MARIE.
Answer-Why hesitate to show
your interest? This is usually
what gets the boys. They think
more of a girl for showing the