davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1935-04-10
If only claims
could satisfy.

DEFoRE you accept claims of ''ten
cent quality for five cent product,
try todGy's ten cent quality at ten cents.
Enjoy the mild, yet distinctive quail
ity of Ell Producto's matchIess blend
of the choicest tobaccos.
Enjoythe smoking ofacigar that stays
lit no matter how slowly you smoke.
Enjoy the shape-streamlined or
full-bodied-that suits your fancy.
Then decide for yourself whether any
claim can give you the real enjoyment
of an Ell Producto.
MADE by G. H. P Cigar Co, Phla.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1935-04-08
Death Gets a Ticket

Automobile death rates in Evanston Ill., in 1929 q
per 100000 of population
In 1884 they were per 1o0Ooowhe traffic death rates
in most other cities steadily increasing
The An energetic police official who decided that
traffic accidents could be prevented and proceeded to
prevent them.
In addition to making accident map Of the city and
redsbung traffic lights this official organized traffic
safety squadron.
When accident squadron is rushed to the
spot.
The injured removed to hospital if necessary, but
nothing else is touched
Upon arrival the officers photograph the scene including
skid marks if any; test the brakes of the involved
possible and then file the complaints.
The photographs and reports evidence
Convictions easy to get
These and familiar measures enforced in Evanston
have given awess drivers healthy respect for traffic rules
and have cut the death rate mentioned.
The Evanston plan worthy of adoption by other cities
does not end the of the handun driver who
won't wait to be photographed.
But by obtaining convictions in other it has made
the reckless and selfish motorist
They know that if they guilty. and caught they have
an excellent chance Of going to jail.
They don't break the rules as often as they did.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1935-04-08

automobile. You wouldn't eX-
pect to get full power out Of a
damaged motor, would you?
It's equally impossible to get ra'
tional reactions from a democrat
lied thought machine.
We don't know much about
our thought machines yet, but
we have made one important
discovery. We now know that
we think with our whole bodies
instead of merely with the brain.
The glands of our bodies-scores
of them, little and big-are as
necessary in the construction OF
thought as the gray matter
within our skulls. These glands
produce, and pour into the
blood stream, the mysterious
essences (hormones) which
make emotion, color thought.
largely determine the trend OF
personality.
BLUE MOODS
Mr.. Robert Browning had a
fine forehead. But two fatty
Jumps, astride his kidneys, prob
ably had far more to do with
his famous poems than that
majestic expanse Of forehead.
Master minds is an imposing
title but it would be nearer the
truth to refer to these super.
humans as master parathroids."
But what has all this to do
with my not thinking when I'm
blue?" you ask.
Plenty! Your glands are the
reason why you're blue. You're
not sunk because you had a
row with your wife over the
grocery bill. You're sunk be-
cause that row die something to
your adrenal glands which, in
turn, proceeded to raise Cain
with your internal combustion.
So what?
So get away from yourself!
Don't try to think-don't permit
yourself to act. Do something
that will make you forget your
self and your problem tempo
rarily!
Eyes, that sounds fine!" you
retort peevishly. Lovely adj
vice for millionaires who can
go off to Florida when they're
low. But how about us poor
people who have to stick on
the job no matter how we feel?
You can't get away from your
self when you're in a jam like
that"
Yes, you can-and you've done
it many a time. Barring a
really desperate situation. which
entirely wrecks your control,
there's no blue mood you can't
lick by the use Of Spunk and
sense.
Play a game Of solitaire.
Trim q hat. Try to write q
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1935-04-08
In the World of Science
BIZ Hiram PERCY Maxim

cation, the American Radio Re
lay League. They all have each
others call letters, names and
addresses.
BY means Of their private
equipment, almost always home
made, all of these private citi-
zens are, at least in theory,
linked together in a communi.
cation system, either directly or
by relay.
Few things reveal better the
trend of the times, and the part
science is playing, than this
spectacle of private citizens
scattered all over the world.
visiting" each other and be-
coming acquainted.
International friendships by
the thousands are being built
up, which never would have
existed otherwise.
STEPPED UP
Science, in due time, will
bring us televiSion. When it
comes we shall see each other
all over the world as well as
talk with each other. The tele-
phone reveals a persons hest
tation, anxiety and mental at
titude, but only insofar as
these may be conveyed by
voice. We can guess from these
hints, but it is guessing. When
We can see the changes in
expression, the eyes and the
action, we shall not be guess
ing. It will be the next thing
to personal contact.
This will revolutionize bust
ness methods. The salesman
will be able to call. show his
commodity, and talk with half
a hundred prospective buyers
in all parts of the country in
a day without leaving his Of
flee.
If he prefers, he will be able
to bring into his headquarters
show room, one at a time, half
a hundred buyers from all over
the country in an afternoon.
Air transportation has been
stepped up in speed from so to
200 miles per hour, and we
have but just begun. Sub
stratosphere flight promises to
bring the coasts within seven
hours of each other. Expert
ments with rocket flight Sug-
gest possible speeds Of 500 to
1000 miles per hour, which
would make Australia an over
night run from New York!
Our grandchildren may well
mistake the world for an
orange, for they will hold it In
their hands.
Articles by Mr.. Maxim ap-
pear each Monday, Wednesday
and Friday. The subject Of the
next will be "The Stars Are
COnsOIing."
Copyright, 1875, by King Features
Syndicate, 1nc.)
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1935-04-08
Pony Express to Airplane

Threequarrs of century when two horsemen opened
the Pony Express service between Sacramento Ca and St.
Joseph No. it took ten days for letter to the distance
and cost $40 in gold.
apanes the ground hours and carry your
letter for cents Indeed costs from farthest north
east Maine farhest southwest California double the
distance.
The change has occurred within the lifetime Of Broncho
Charlie Miller old Pony Express rider who took part
celebration of the sevenh anniversary of the foundation
of the express
Yet hours is far too long, and cents far too much
Within the lepans of children improvements in our
transportation service will be made great the change from
the Pony Express to the airplane
What will they be? We can't tell But have faith in
continued progress and thereby help bring them about
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1935-04-08

sidered something new, some
thing quick, but also tasty and
very trick:
Emerald Sundae: Dip ready.
made marShmallow whip over
chocolate ice cream. Sprinkle
with green rubyettes, first care
fully cut into tiny bits"
Let us leave out the matter Of
"rubyettes." I don't know what
they are, but I can guess. And
let us overlook the fact that the
only party spirit I could display
in this compartment would be
to open and shut the closet
door with one hand and turn on
the hot water with the other,
singing, "Hail, Hail, the Gangs
All Here" the while.
The fact still remains that the
trouble with a lot Of parties to-
day is that people read too many
articles on the party spirit and
cut too many rubyettes up into
tiny bits.
There used to be a time, so
I am told, when people who gave
a party didn't know what the
party spirit" was. They just
asked in a lot of folks and
dragged out a steer or two,
whipped up a little sauce made
of mustard and just let people
dip in. At least, we are given
to understand that's what went
on. I never gave such a party
myself.
In fact, I don't give many par
ties, a fact which is commented
on by people to whom I am in.
debted. "Why doesn't he ever
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1935-04-08

lations of the junior Senator
from the "Old Dominion" the
Federal Government alone is
spending nearly $4,000 every
minute of the day and night.
And of this amount $1,000, &C
cording to his estimate, is be-
ing added to the public debt
which the children of many a
tomorrow will be called upon to
pay.
METEORIC RISE
The Senator's figures on this
vital question have quickened
other calculators to do likewise.
One of these-the United States
News-puts the case thus
graphically:
From George Washington's
first term to the first term of
Woodrow Wilson-covering 1874
years-the Federal Government
spent $24,521,8 45, 900.
From the first budget of the
present Administration to its
latest budget - covering three
years-the Federal Government
outlines spending $24,206,533,-
900.
This is such a vast sum of
money that the total figures
we'll nigh stagger the magma
ton. This commentator, with
a view to helping the average
citizen visualize the burden
which this expenditure will i'm
pose upon the present genera
ton and the generations to
follow, puts it this way:
"It is $12 each for every man,
woman and child on the face
Of the earth. 1t represents
nearly $1,000 dollars for each
family in the United States.
at was enough to finance the
National Government through
81 presidential terms of four
years EACH"
It was enough, in addition,
to finance the righting of four
wars and to meet the Federal
needs of a nation which, dur
ing that time, expanded from
10 Atlantic seaboard States,
thinly populated, to 48 States,
which now comprise the richest
area in the world.
Twenty-four thousand million
dollars was enough to run the
Federal Government under the
preSidencies of Washington,
Adams, jefferson, Madison, Mon
roe, Adams, Jackson, Van Buren,,
Harrison and Tyler, Polk, Tay-
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1935-04-08

Hiram Percy Maxim ond. The ra-
dio wave can go all the way
around the earth seven times
white the sound wave itself is
travelling less than 400 yards.
Science is certainly playing
hob with the size of the planet.
In your grandfather's day, to
get word from London, Eng
land, to Melbourne, Australia,
required from three to four
months. Today, you get word
there by radio in less time than
you can shout it from home
plate to first base on a baseball
diamond, or from the stage to
the rear of a theater.
A generation ago we depend
ed entirely upon the Post Office
for ordinary communication be-
tween distant points. A person
in Boston dropped a letter in
the mail on Monday, and If the
recipient in New York answered
it Immediately the reply reach
ed the sender in Boston on
Wednesday. Today, we can lift
the telephone receiver, give a
number in New York, and uSu-
ally in a few seconds we are
talking as though we were in
the same room. In two minutes
we accomplish much more than
we did in two days.
LINKED TOGETHER
All six of Earth's continents
are linked by telephone. Sixty
different countries and over
10000, 900 telephones are avail
able to you by stepping to yours.
Except for China, New Zealand
and Russia, you can reach any
part of the habitable globe by
telephone in a few minutes.
In the United States there
are 10000 radio amateurs:
throughout the rest of the world
another 20, 900. They are private
citizens interested in scientlflc
matters. They have worldwide
organization, the international
Amateur Radio Union.
They have a national organl'
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1935-04-08
Greatest Show On Earth
Blu John SnMre, T.

tive Jesse P. Wolcott, also OF
Michigan, the man who DE-
feated Cramton rode on the
elevator with Belts.
Said Wolcott::
81 see your friend is around.
He must want railroad rare
home"
Belts replied sorrowfully:
eyes, he rode with me-didnt
speak either"
Then he groWled:
'But if he wants money to get
home, I'll chip in"
The next time that Harvey
King, assistant manager Of the
Senate restaurant, wants an au-
tomobile license he will get it
himself.
The other day Harvey wanted
to send downtown to get his
daughters driving license re-
newed.
He called one Of the boys
around the restaurant and gave
him the money.
The boy went.
He came back.
He brought a dog tag.
For the "millionth" time Sena.
tor Huey P. "Kingfish" Long
was Grating the other day.
He was letting the words
drip off in uncontrolle I'd
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1935-04-08
Setting A Good Example

John Jacob Aston 3d. possessor of great American
and great American fortune found job He works for
the International Mercantile Marine Company six days week
from to and gets $25 week.
Many young of % would be glad to get such job in
these times but many them would take if they had
Mr.. Astors wealth.
His desire and learn business from the ground
up reflects the good American idea that isn't tit to give
orders until he learns how to take them It's lesson that
good many young Americans could learn
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1935-04-08

Joe names.
They called him every name
under the sun.
And the names were not com.
plimentary.
AS in all other things, how.
ever, there were two sides to
the question.
It developed that to delay
the vote was a blunder.
That is, it was a blunder II
being fair and square can be
called a blunder.
Robinson didn't 1DGnt to haze
that vote until all of the men
in the Senate had a chance to
Uote. And he gaze them that
chance.
On the surface it appeared
as though the majority floor
leader had made a tremendous
error.
But Joe was just being a
square shooter.
Years ago former Repre-
sentative Louis Cramton RO
of Michigan and Ellis Belts,
Capitol elevator operator and
wit, had an argument.
It developed into a rather
nice feud.
The other day CrGnton came
back.
He rode on the elevator Belts
operated.
He didn't speak.
Some time later Representa-
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1935-04-08

give a party HIMSELF" is the
way they phrase it.
Well, I will tell you. I am
afraid to. I am afraid that it
would be a flop. I'm afraid that
people wouldn't like what I gave
them to eat. And, above all, that
party spirit" worries me.
Suppose I got a house full of
people and there turned out to
be no Party Spirit, as well as no
food that anyone wanted to eat!
Suppose there even turned out
to be no people!
would be one Of those worry
ing hosts, who gets people out
under the stairs and asks: How
do you think it's going?" I
would always be tiptoeing around
around with pencils, asking peo-
pie to write down the name Of
the first country which comes
into their minds, and then for
getting how the rest Of the
game goes. I might even nave
Mysteries and have to be taken
upstairs.
It's this constant reading
about how to get the Party
Spirit and how to cut up ruby
cites into tiny bits that gets me
down. I just haven't got the
knack.
(Copyright, 1885, by King Features
Syndicate, Inc.)
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1935-04-08

story. Bake a new kind or
cake. Borrow some of little
Jimmy's toys. One of those
slick little things that come
with directions for whiting
and painting ga bombing
plane, covered wagon, or old
caravel. Or one of those me.
chanical building sets. Me?
When I'm feeling completely
washed up-I dress a doll!
GOOD MEDICINE
AND THESE SEEMINGLY
SIMPLE, FOOLISH EXPEDI-
ENTS DO TURN THE TRICK.
They turn the trick by reliev-
ing ewildered brain and
glands from pressure and hold
ing your whole system steady
until it can return to normal.
And self-f0rgetfulness is the
only medicine needed for just
about ninety-nine and ninety"
nine one hundredths per cent
of your ailments!
Copyright, 1885, by King Features
Syndicate, Inc.)
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1935-04-08
Remove the Screens

Tear down the partitions in the bars and mix the drinks
where everything open and above board and the customer
what he is getting!
There enough wisdom and sentiment behind this advice
to be taken seriously it to be hoped that the Drsen
bill removing the opaque bar will be enacted into
law promptly.
Commissioner Allen the strongest opponent Of the open
bar and only argument he has advanced against it is
that the Democratic national platform promised repeal with
out return to the od-fashioned saloon.
THAT IS A WEAK ARGUMENT.
There nothing sacred about the platform of political
campaign that be followed after it has proved silly
and dangerous And has proved that hidden bars invite
nsantary conditions and dangerous subsutons of deler
materials.
national law makers can disregard the important economy
promises of the platform they need not be squeamh about
disregarding minor phase which has resulted in the rot
gut whiskey of the Volstead era.
Bringing the drink mixing into the open will do to
RAISE THE RETAIL LIQUOR BUSINESS TO PROPER
LEVEL than any amount of regulations and police work
There's in making it crime to mix drink in
public.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1935-04-08
Time For Action
Blu James T. Williams, Jr.

lor and Fillmore, Pierce, Blu.
chanan, Lincoln, johnson, Grant,
Hayes, Garfield and Arthur,
Cleveland, Benjamin Harrison,
Cleveland again, Mckinley,
Roosevelt and Taft.
TWenty-four thousand million
dollars was enough to run the
Federal Government from 1889
to 1918.
Twenty-four thousand million
dollars covers the Federal ex-
penditures from the day that
George Washington took the
oath as President in New York
city until the day that Wood
row Wilson took the same oath
in the Federal city.
According to the same calcula.
tor, the average annual cost of
operating the Federal Govern.
ment, including all of its ex-
penditureS, during these first
one hundred and twenty-four
years of its history amounted
to about $195, 085 900, which is
about $5.26 per person.
Thus the New Deal expendi.
lures for the years 1884, 1895.
1886 will almost equal the entire
expenditures of the Federal
Government since it was estab.
liShed under George Washing.
ton, less it's expenditures during
the eight years that Woodrow
Wilson was in the White House,
which includes the financing Of
this country's participation in
the Great War.
These Federal expenditures
do not include the vast expendi-
lures which are now made every
year by the governments of the
48 States, their 5000 counties,
and their 10000 other local
units of governn ent.
TIGHTEN THE LOAD
The American people are not
holding a national election this
year. They ..1e unrepresented
in either house of Congress by a
mi ority party OF Efficient CO.
hesiveness, conscience, or cour.
age to offer an effective opposi-
ton or even constructive crit.
cism. They are dependent upon
a feM Independent critics like
Senator Byrd for enlightenment
and record-straightening protest.
But the American people do
not have to wait for a national
election to begin to lift from
their necks the yoke of that
oX-cart system of county and
local government, the expendi.
lures of which in comparison
with those of the Federal Gov
eminent make the latter appear
almost economical.
County and local govern.
ments can be consolidated and
reduced this year. They can be
compelled this year to cut their
expenditures by the millions.
And this is what will be done
if the people compel the Gov
errors of their respective States
to convene the legislatures for
the specific purpose of over.
throwing an obsolete system Of
county and local government
which is a hand-me-down from
the ox-cart age.
Downright, 1885, The Washington Timesl
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1935-04-08

S ena Tor Senator LOnerSan
Lonergan left his friends with
the statement:
Senator Long is making his
maiden speech. I suppose l
should hsten.'
Long was talking about his pet
subject, the one he has talked
about since his arrival, reds
tribution Of wealth"
Copyright, 1895, The Washington TimssI
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1935-04-08


fashion.
S e n a t or
A u g u S t inc
Lo n e r G a n,
Democrat of
C O nnecticut,
was talking
to friends in
another part
of the Capt..
toll. He was
not so far
away, how.
ever, as to be
un q lie to
hear Huey'S
murmurings.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1935-04-08

Senator Joseph T. Robinson
of Arkansas, majority floor
leader of the Senate, was sub
iected to one Of the worst
razzings of his career the other
day.
When the conference report
of 1880 million dollar work
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1935-04-08

regarding the
meteoric rise
of expendi-
lures by the
Federal Gov
e r n m e n t,
which is now
u n d er t h e
complete con-
troll at both
ends of Con-
Stitution Ave
nue. of his
own party
t he D e m o.
cratic party.
&C ording
tn the calc1l-
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1935-04-08

d O MT make
decisions. For
nothing that
you thin k,
s a y or do
when you're
in the dumps
is reliable.
And the rea-
sons plain
TIL o u G h t
doesn't just
happen. I It's
a d e f i n i t e
product. AS
much a prod
uct as the
n0wer in V0llr
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1935-04-08

relief bill was
adopted by a.
viva voce vote
without a n y
trouble, Rob-
inSon demand
ed a roll call
vote and thus
caused trou-
BILE.
Before the
vote could be
taken numer-
Gus speeches
delayed the
Senate for
hours.
They called
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1935-04-08

ment in Lon
don. When it
S t r TX e S the
hour it is
h e ar d by
radio in Amer
lea before a
L o n d n e r
hears it di-
rectly fro m
the bell. The
radio W a v e
travels 1885,
900 miles per
second. Sound
travels LOO
feet Der Sec
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1935-04-08

Senator Byrd, of Virginia, is
rendering a useful public service
in keeping straight the record
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1935-04-08
The Party Spirit
Blu Robert BenchIey

Of all things to come into my
hands at this time, closeted in a
compartment on a train in the
middle of a desert, is an article
entitled, 1.-THE Party Spirit"
The subhead. to this article is as
follows: Something New, Some
thing Quick, but Also Tasty and
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1935-04-08
OLD FAVORITES
Bonnie Doom
Blu Robert Burns

Bonnie Doom By Robert Burns
Ye banks and braes o. bonnie Doom,
How ye bloom sac fair!
How ye chant, ye little birds,
And sac fu' O. care!
Thou'l break my heart thou bonnie bird
That sings upon the Dough;
Thou minds me o. the happy days
When my fause Luve true.
Thoul break my heart thou bonnie bird
That sings beside thy mate;
For sac sat- and I sang
And visit ma o. my fate.
Aft hae roved by bonnie Doom
To see the woodbne Irvine,
And ilka bird sang o. its love;
And sac did O. mine
WI lightsome heart pud rose,
Frae aft its thorny tree;
And my fause luver staw the rose,
But left the thorn wi me-
(Rerders are ivted to send to the editor their sMggeS
ons of old GvOrtes among the poems for reprnting in
this SpCce.)
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1935-04-08
Our Fast Shrinking Planet

Big Ben is the most famous
clock in the world. It stands
on top of the House of Parlia-
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1935-04-08
Listen, World
Blu Elsie Robinson

Don't Try to Think When
Your Blue!
Don't try to think when
you're blue or bewildered. Don't
try to size up a situation or
make a program. Above all,