Evening star., 1935-07-09


- wife? Must wife never show
that things 60 wrong with her, or that
she is sad and depressed? Must she
always wear the smile that doesn't
come of? Must she get behind friend
husband and push him into success
and keep him walking the straight
and narrow path without letting him
know she does it? Must she see that
the children are educated, morally and
intellectually? Must she keep herself
well dressed and attractive? Must she
develop some special social talent so
that her husband and children may
be proud of her? Must she do all
these things and what then?
MRS. N. z. W.
Answer-You have outlined the work
of a superWoman. Considering it as
you put it, it would seem that it would
require a combination Of all the tai
ents and virtues for any one person
to achieve SO stupendous task, and
yet, strange as it may seem, there are
thousands Of women who do it and
who never once suspect that they are
geniuseS or have done anything eX-
traordinary. Nor do their husbands and
children. They merely think that they
have a good home and good wife
and mother and little appreciate all
of the intelligence, the work and the
diplomacy that have gone into the
making of the home and the building
up of the family life.
OF course, all of the responsibility
of the home environment should not
depend upon the wife. 1t is just as
much the mans business to help make
a happy home as it is the woman's.
1t is up to him to be little ray Of
sunshine in it Just as much as it is to
the woman. The children are fathers
no less than mothers, and it is his
business to help rear them and de-
velop them mentally, morally and
physically just as much as it is moth
ers. The husband is Just as much OBJ
ligated to be interested in the wife's
work and try to encourage and stimu-
late her as 1t is for her to take an
interest in his career.
But in the home it is conditions and
not theories that confront us, and the
plain unvarnished fact is that the
average man passes the buck to his
wife, and the domestic conditions are
what she makes them. She furnishes
the atmosphere, and it is fair and
warmer, or bleak and stormy, as she
makes it. She constructs the back
ground against which the family life
is lived, and it is orderly, dignif1ed and
comfortable, or else confusion worse
confounded, with children tumbled up
in slovenly house from which they
escape as soon as possible.
Most men feel that they have done
their full duty toward their families
by paying the bills. They leave the
rest to their wives. So If a woman
wants her children to grow up in a
peaceful and happy home, she has to
make it. Very often she has to ignore
the grouchineSs Of an ill-tempered
husband who believes that home Is a
| place where he can show himself in
his true colors and be as diss greeable
as he likes. Sometimes she has to
shut her eyes TO her husbands philan-
dering, because that is the only way
in which she can hold her home to-
gether and keep her children from the
blight of having divorced parents.
She must teach her children the
code of morals by which they will live
and die. for 1t is the things that a
child learns at its mothers knee that
sets the pattern of its conduct as long
as it lives. And whether her children
are given a proper education or not
depends upon her, for it is mother
who holds her children to their tasks,
who sees that their lessons are prop
! erly studied, or else they fail in their
marks and drift into truancy. And it
is mother who lights the lamp Of am
bition in little souls and sets their feet
on the upward climb to achievement.
And mother must keep herself look
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as well as her husbands, If she is to
hold them. She must have outside
interests and keep in touch with the
world, or else they will outgrow her.
She must be her children's sweetheart,
their guide, counselor and friend. She
must be teacher, nurse, cook, shopping
agent and thousand other things,
and she generally Is.
And millions of women take all of
this endless work in their stride and
just call it day. DOROTHY DIX.
lDEAR DOROTHY DIX: While I
was single supported the home,
which included not only my mother,
but a temperamental brother, who
could never find Just the work he
wanted to do, and sister who quar-
relied with her husband and came
back home with her three children to
live, and who has never thought it
necessary for her to get out and earn
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