davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Waterbury Democrat. [volume] (Waterbury, Conn.) 1917-1946, 1935-08-09
The Cat Appears

Investigators for they senate
committee one day got their
hands on the correspondence files
of the Electric Bond and Share
Company, which is considered by
other holding companies as a
very black sheep indeed. In the
files was a letter from Mr..
Cramer to c. e. Groesbeck,
chairman Of the z. b. and s.
Company. The communication
contained a get of bright ideas
which might prove valuable to
the company in Its campaign to
create opposition to the Wheeler
Rayburn bill, and suggesting, as
the most effective, the institution
OF a whispering campaign to the
effect that President Roosevelt
had gone insane and that the
measures he was advocating
were nothing but the rawlings of
q mailman. Mr.. Groesbeck had
denied knowing anything about
the letter and even less about
Mr.. Cramer. Unfortunately. Mr..
Groesbeck's assistant, q. @. Wal.
ker, had not only read the let
ter but wrote an answer to Mr..
Cramer:s
III am writing to apologize for
yOur not having had an answer
or Acknowledgement to your
letter. your letter by mis-
take was placed in the wrong
file. I ann sorry that this hap
pened and that yOur letter did
not get the prompt answer IL
deserved. / shall write you more
fully within the next few days
and take mp the suggestions
contained I'm Jour letter in more
detail.
They were very pertinent and
/ am sure you will be glad to
know that I'm our immediate
problem we have tried to pur-
sue q course Of action similar TO
one Of your suggestions, namely,
TO point out the constructive
force the utility industry could
be I'm recovery IL present perse-
cution and the fear Of future
extinction at the hand OF the
govern m &C could be re-
moved. :"
The Waterbury Democrat. [volume] (Waterbury, Conn.) 1917-1946, 1935-08-09
Test Yo q 3
Knowledge

Cam you answer seven Of these
test questions? Turn to last
page for the answers.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1935-04-05

for nightmare months, you've
been one of the mutton chop n
spinach sisterhood, you'll feel
more like Breaking Down and
Having a Good Hard Cry as you
turn its famished pages.
It started with those Old
Fashioned Breakfasts.
Oatmeal with plentiful
additions of butter, sugar and
yellowish cream. A platter Of
bacon and eggs toast, hot
biscuits hominy or grits or
stacks of griddle cakes with ap.
pie jelly or molasses coffee,
and plenty of it. coffee cake,
still hot and thickly sprinkled
with cinnamon and sugar"
WERE HUSKY
So, starting with few little
kickshawS like that, and pro-
ceeding with four or five bigger
and better blowouts during the
day, Fannie inevitably arrived
at size A, bright-eyed and
beaming, even though a little
Dusty at the seams. And went
right on crunching, slipping,
browsing, gulping, chawing and
grazing her happy way through
all the assorted groceries-until
that awful day she lunched
with a "slim and lovely lady"
who late nothing but a spot
of spinach en- branche be-
cause she weighed 100 pounds,
which, was nine pounds too
much!"
From that day on Miss Hurst
took mo food with her meals"
Came the time when she
writhed in mental agony re-
Numbering gorgeous gobbets
like "flapjackS beneath a gol-
den blanket of maple syrup
"a Roquefort dressing flowing
off the smooth, red flank of a
stuffed tomato. q fillet Of sole,
lying tenderly beneath a velvety
sauce Sprinkled through with
capers, like the black tips Of
little ernineS; hot rolls split
on the side and then pressed
down again on a cube of sweet
butter. "a sugared and CHINA
moned baked apple under
cream"
Away went the dimples! But,
alas and alack, with them went
that bright-eyed disposition!
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1935-04-05
OratOry and Audiences

When the national epidemic Of filters reaches the stage where
the United States Senate orders the public out Of the galleries
and woodpeckrs pckng starts the of machine gun
attack upon notorious gambling house, there is need for
action.
For many sprngme past, oratory has always reached
flood tide of effort with the incoming rush of sghtseers
Congressional bosoms swell congressional Threats
cleared there is tonic for speechmadng statesman
effective audience of oown gheers who take the
Senate seriously.
In days like these the very dim past Zeke Chandler
of Mississippi always awaited full gallery before uneashng
his tongue defense Of the annual appropriation to
the water hyacnths from classic Tombigbee River
The Honorable Billy Mason, Illinois oratorlcal wonder
would reach the full perfection Of his baritone there
in the galleries Even the practical and
theatrical Ehu Root could find subject for discourse on
day when the visitors were elsewhere
The late Champ Clark in his fathery always gave
freshman Congessmen instructions in the art OF looking like
statesmen front of constituents always advised the
get much meght possible under the eyes OF
visitors in the galleries.
Rarely ordered the galleries cleared except for
the transaction of executive business when with doors and
galleries closed oratoy dropped to the level Of the converse
ton in the hotstove league.
But strange things are happening Is it possible that the
radio mike has changed Senator's appreciation OF visible
audience?
It would seem to be quite as likely that moving picture
hero would close ear and appear upon the
stage to empty United States Senator would search
for that heroic character Juney with orders
to rush the visitors from their listening posts to the cold cor
ridors of the Senate
Probably this eviction of the visitors the Senate gal
eries few days the ground that the visitors made too
much noise merely symptom Of the spring filters II
cannot be possible that the Senate carry on without an
audience. -
clear the air and PRODUCE PRACTICAL EFFECTS.
But that is too much to expect
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1935-04-05

years old, and Senator Arthur
Capper, of Kansas, who is 10.
They are seldom seen on the
same dance floor, however.
McAdoo prefers the Shore
ham hotel, and dances there
almost every night.
Capper prefers the May.
flower, apparently, for he trips
the light fantastic in the cock
tail room almost every after
noon.
Representative Clifton A.
Woodrum, Democrat, of Vir-
ginia, and one of the song
birds of the House, is usually
as chivalrous as all Virginia
gentlemen are supposed to be.
He couldn't resist. however,
taking a little dig at one of
his feminine colleagues the
other day.
While Clifton Dns making a
speech, Mrs. Edith NourSe
Rogers, Republican OF MGSsa-
chuSettS, one OF the most
charming tDonIen in the House,
sought to interrupt him tDith q
question.
Woodrum waved her to her
seat and remarked:
"ThiS is one place where
you can tell . woman to sit
down and be quiet"
ACCORDING to the rules a
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1935-04-05
An Optimist at 80

At 80 John Hays Hammond great Californian and great
American refuses point with prde the achievements
of his generation ito with alarm the difficulties
of the present day.
In long and eventfu life which has taken him to the far
the earth and exposed him all sorts of dangers
and adventures including sentence Of DEATH Colonel Ham
mond has learned that what may man must do his
work.
Colonel Hammond and like him had been deferred by
quam mining which have benefited mil
lions and changed the fabric of human life would have
been developed.
nations allow fear and alarm parayze their mental and
physical activities, progress will be checked.
The Colonel is not thinking of retiring
Still active he plans to buy arpane for his private
Next week he's going trout fishing in the Catskils
typical American and America is most alive and
cessful when it reflects such spirit his
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1935-04-05

"cool" outer atmosphere of the
Sun has a temperature of TO-
900 degrees. The hottest thing
we have on Earth is the cleo
trio arc. It has a temperature
of 5000 degrees. We Earth
jewellers, therefore, have no ex-
perience with temperatures
such as exist on Sun. All we
can do is to observe their eff
fects from a distance of SO, OOO,-
900 miles.
When comets from outer
space approach Sun, we observe
the effects of pressure. When
we first discern one far out in
space, it is a point of light
with no tail. When it gets
close to Sun it has an enor-
nous tail which trails from the
head millions of miles.
TAIL IN FRONT
AS a comet starts to round
the Sun, the tail swings out to
one side. It does not, as would
be supposed, extend in the direc-
ton from which the comet has
come. When the comet is half
way round Sun, the tail streams
out at right angles to the path.
Finally, as the head of the
comet completes its turn, and
starts back for the depths of
space, the tail is not behind,
but in front.
Many centuries passed before
an explanation was found. The
cause of the phenomenon is the
pressure exerted by light. The
radiations emitted by Sun exert
more repulsive pressure against
small masses than gravitational
attraction eXertS.
The comet is a cluster Of very
small particles, and as it ap-
proaches a highly radiating
body like the Sun, the repuslve
effect is higher and more dust"
is blown off. =,
A few years ago Earth passed
through the tail Of comet.
All manner Of dreadful things
were feared by the timid and
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1935-04-05
Boats and BreeZes

There is pleasant sound of caulkng hammers and the
swish of paint brushes the yacht clubs and boat yards OF
the District these days.
Spring weather has brought the yachtsmen out Of Their
winter Information They preparing for another joyous
summer the water.
Too many persons regard yachting rich mans sport
Yet the Young man or woman little homemade cat boat
rowboat equipped with cupboard motor has as much
fun the skipper of palatial cruiser
Washingtonans should realize the natural advan
tages they have for boating.
The broad Potomac, with its channels well marked its
safe offering delightful places to stop and picnic its
tributaries offering adventuresome cruising grounds is
paradise for the yachtsman.
Further down is Chesapeake Bay with hundreds Of miles
for the sailor to explore And if his craft is large enough
there is the open beyond.
The water offers grand from summer heat and
crowded highways
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1935-04-05

In 1858 III
remarkable article entitled
"An Appeal to Reason" which
appeared in a quarterly review
of foreign affairs, DR.. Moore
exposed the fallacies of paper
intervention by the United
States in foreign wars.
He attacked the Hoover ad-
ministration on the ground that
it's tendency appeared to be to-
ward the development of a pol
icy of Immortality. He pointed
out that wars could not be leg
iSlated out of existence and that
practical lessons of history sup
ported the historic policy Of neu-
trality inherited from the early
days of the republic.
Commercially the United States
has long recognized certain
cardinal points of neutrality,
namely, that as a neutral this
country may not be used as a
base of operations by a bellig-
erent, that trade by our ma
tionals in munitions or contra
band to a belligerent is subject
to capture on the high seas,
and that any commerce by our
nationals with an effectively
blockaded belligerent is subject
to capture by the effective
blockader.
SHARP DIFFERENCES
Sharp differences were de-
veloped during the Great War
between this Government and
European belligerents. Three Of
these points of difference were:
The nature Of contraband, enc
my destination, and war zones.
AS neutral exporter, the
United States naturally objected
to the well-nigh all-embracing
contraband lists enforced by
Great Britain as regards our
commerce with the Central
Powers.
In the matter of continuous
voyage" or enemy destination"
in our trade with another neu-
trail we objected to the rigorous
and often extreme interpreted
ton of the British, especially
what we called the obnoxious
replacement doctrine of trade
between two neutrals, although
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1935-04-05
Neutrality Policies
By James T. Williams, Jr.

we admitted and had ourselves
enforced a milder doctrine re-
garding the ultimate enemy
destination of contraband.
To the war zone" theory of
the Central Powers we objected.
This was the theory that neu-
trail commerce may be sunk
rather than captured. We held
to the doctrine that even
though the commerce was I'M
neutral, a contraband crew
must be placed by the captur-
ing belligerent in place of
safety at least equal to that
evacuated by the capture OF
the vessel.
The proposals now being ad-
vanced in certain Senatorial
quarters go to the other ex-
IRENE. If the theories of the
Hoover Administration tended
to lead this country away from
our traditional policy there is
also danger in going beyond
the limit of traditional neu-
trality and this danger is
threatened by some recent
proposals.
"NEW NEUTRALITY"
Under the traditional policy
of American neutrality our
citizens have been allowed to
carry on their trade with bel
ligerents but they have been
conceded no neutral rights as
to capture and confiscation.
If they shipped munitions they
took the risk of losing the
ship through capture.
Now in certain quarters it
is proposed to place all our
exports to belligerent countries
in the same category that
munitions of war were placed,
and to allow all trade with
belligerent solely at the risk
of the private citizen, waving
all rights formerly claimed as
regards trade between the
United States as a neutral
and any belligerent.
The new neutrality" as pro-
posed by some theorists on the
subject also proposes to waive
all rights of American citizens
or property entering a declared
war zone" whether in foreign
ships or not.
Should this country ever sub
scribe to any such new doctrine
a belligerent might then de-
clare the seas of the world to
be a war zone beginning three
miles off our coast; we should
then have waived all right to
protest this extravagant extern
sion Of the war zone.
We would then see all Ameri-
can commerce, whether neutral
or not, captured or sent to the
bottom without warning in any
part of the world. Belligerents
would then be free to destroy
American life and property on
the seven seas whenever any or
all belligerents saw fit to de-
stroy it.
Copyright, 1885. The washing ton Times
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1935-04-05
Listen, World
BIZ Elsie Robinson

And in place OF CHEEKY, apple
checked Fannie there appeared
she admits it herself-a sour,
snoopy, Supercilious old meanie!
TO THE CONTRARY
Why all these tortures and
sacrifices, these nasty suspi-
cions and venomous recrimina-
tons? SIMPLY BECAUSE
AMERICA is IN THE GRIP
OF A COCKEYED CONCEP-
TON OF FEMININE BEAUTY.
Is there any reason WHY a
mature woman Of 40 should re-
semble a strip Of bacon rind?
There is not. To the con-
trary, there are about 749
perfectly good reasons why she
SHOULDN'T.
Copyright, 1898, by King Features
Syndicate, Inc.)
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1935-04-05
The Top
BY Robert BenchLey

You're the top, you're an old
mans whiskers, you're the top,
you're a meeny briskers; you're
a humptte-dee by a thumpti-de
by smauch; you're a hooch1e-
coochie, a loochie-boochie -
you're Alison Skipworth-
So help me, Cole Porter,
if I hear that song again, or
any version of it, or any
perversion Of it, or any mention
of it, I give you my word I
scream. And when say
scream, I mean lift the top OF
my head off and give.
was one of the smart boys
who got a gramaphone record
of that song before it came out
in a show! Somebody said to
me: "Cole Porter has written a
marvellous song privately. You
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1935-04-05

can get a record Of it by men
tioning my name. It's only for
a few friends"
So I mentioned the name, and
got the record. I played it
over in the privacy of my room,
and then let a few friends in
on it.
"Something Cole Porter just
wrote" explained. 81 can get
it for you, if you want. That's
Cole, singing it himself"
In the meantime, was play
ing it over for myself. I learned
the words and sang it alone. I
sang it for friends who hadn't
yet learned the words. I sang
it for friends who didn't want
to learn the words. Then got
sick of it.
Then they decided to put it
into a show. I saw the show
and wrote a little piece about
it, in which I said that before
long everybody in town would
be trying to remember how it
went. Little did 1 know that
before long everybody in town
would be trying to reWrite it.
Then they began. Mind you,
before the song was out I was
sick of it. 1 was singing you're
Mahatma Gandhi" in my sleep.
I was singing you're Mrs. AS
tor-you're Cellophane" while I
shaved. I was singing But if,
baby, I'm the bottom, you're the
top" when I faced my banker,
who turned quickly away. Al
though I like Cole Porter as a
person, I was wishing that he
had been stricken dumb before
he ever wrote that particular
song.
To understand my feelings in
this matter, yeu must realize
that this was all before the song
was introduced into a show. It
is seldom that one gets sick Of
song that early. 1 happened to
have been on the inside, ION the
ground floor" I was the guy
who got sick first.
Early in the run they started
making parodies. you're the
top, you're a so-and-so-so." They
made parodies which didn't scan
(Which can easily drive you
crazy); they made parodies
which didn't make sense; they
made parodies which you
couldn't sing to your best friend.
Everyone took a crack at it, and
practically everyone made a
mess of it. Mr.. Porter still is
the top.
But the more they sang it. the
more it got into my sleep. can
fight it off during the daytime,
but I am a sucker for it after
my subconscious gets to work.
Then even make parodies of it.
I put out the light, and then I
begin:
you're the top, you're q
humpty-dumpty; you're the top,
you're a mumpty-mumpty;
you're a howdy-dO, a tittypOO, a
Serious; you're a hOOky-pOOky, q
jOOky dOOky, you're MICKEY
MOUSE"
may shoot myself.
copyright, 1898, by King Features
Syndicate, Inc.)
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1935-04-05
In the World of Science
By Hiram Percy Maxim

uniformed. Astronomers pre-
dicted a shower of meteoriteS
and poisonous gas fumes last
ing several days and nights.
Nothing happened that the
ordinary person could detect.
At some of the astronomical
observatories there were seen
small increases in the number
of shooting stars. Nobody re-
ported any noxious gases.
This leads us to conclude
that comets tails are no more
than enormous clouds Of dust.
This dust is blown from the
head of the comet by the pres
sure of light, and consequently
always points away from the
Sun.
WHAT THEN?
From this we deduce that
10000 degrees temperature
creates enough pressure to
blow comet material millions
of miles against the force of
gravity. But this temperature
is only that of the "coop' outer
envelope of Suns atmosphere.
Deep within the Suns in
terror the temperature must be
40 millions to so millions of
degrees. At this temperature
a piece of matter the size of
a grape seed would emit a
radiation which has a pressure
of millions of tons per square
inch. The force of this pres
sure at a range of a few
hundred yards would knock
down the strongest military
fortification.
At a distance Of 1000 miles.
and within a few minutes
time, it would incinerate every
living creature. For the
grape seed" to maintain this
heat, it would require a mil
lion times all the man-made
O1oepOWeF Oh EdTLu.
Where did the original heat
come from? Where did the Sun
get it's tremendous supply of
heat? Whence came that I'm.
thinkable quantity of heat pos
sessed by all the stars in the
cosmos? Every star is radiat-
ing it away at a prodigious
rate. In time they must radiate
it all and annihilate themselves.
When all matter finally has
been transformed into radia-
ton. what then? We do not
know. Some day, after men
have been here longer and have
learned more about Natures
methods, they probably will
find the answer.
We who live in this back
ward today must go to our
graves wondering.
Copyright, 1885. by King Features
Syndicate, Inc.)
Articles by Mr.. Maxim appear
each Monday, Wednesday and
Friday. The subject Of the next
will be sour FastShrinking
Planet"
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1935-04-05

ed unless he so deS1TeS)
Military attaches OF the
various embassies are intensely
interested in the announcement
that the United States Army
plans it's biggest peace-tlme
maneuvers this summer.
Secretary of War George H.
Dern and other War Depart
met officials haze announced
that they plan to mobilize some
10000 men this summer for
maneuverS.
It has been customary to
invite the attaches of foreign
nations to view maneuvers OF
this type.
The military aides are
wondering, however, whether
the United States will think 1t
is necessary to permit them to
view its Army this year.
Military attaches Of the va
rious embassies are intensely
iyotaroSted in the announcement
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1935-04-05

which is rad
lated 70 m
the sun, had
to cross 3d.
100000 miles
of space in
W h ich the
temporal u r e
is $50 degrees
below zero.
A piece of
steel heated
to a dazzling
white has a
temporal u r e
of 1890 de-
greeS F'ahren-
heit. The
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1935-04-05

Washington.
B tn of
them are in
their seven
ties blu t al
almost every
a f e I'm o on
and evening
they are to
be seen on
h o t e | dance
floors.
T h e y are
Senator Will
liam Glib b S
McAdoo, OF
c a lif o rnia,
uY hn 10
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1935-04-05

400
t h a t the
United States
Arm y plans
it's bi g g e S t
pc a c ct ime
m a n e u v erS
this summer.
Secretary Of
w ar George
H. Dern and
O t h err War
De p artment
officials have
a n n o u need
t h a t tn e y
plan to mob
iliZe some
$4,000 m e n
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1935-04-05

this summer for maneuVers.
It has been customary to in,
vite the attaches of foreign
nations to view maneuvers OF
this type.
The military aides are Won
dering, however, whether the
United States will think 1t is
necessary to permit them to
view its Army this year.
Copyright, 1895, The Washington TimssI
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1935-04-05

KIN ow S h e
first dreadful,
dimpled chap
tiers of Fan
ME Hurst'S
ne W 90 k,
mo FOOD
w 1T H NY
M E A L S."
Oh a rp e &
BrOCQeTS, pup
| i S h e r So
w h i C h , to
thoso Who'Ve
never dieted,
will probably
be a ! a u G h
riot. RIIt If.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1935-04-05

American pol
icy of neutral
ity thoughtful
Anne ic a n S
will wish to
recall som e
obServat 10 n S
on the sub
ject Of John
B a S S e t t
Moore, e m l.
nent author
ity on Amer
lea n diplo-
macy and in
ternat on a !
law.
- Tn00 a.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1935-04-05
Times Whirligig

SPAIN which expelled its entire Jewish population in the
year in which Columbus discovered America honorng
the So0h anniversary of the birth in Cordoba of Moses
Maimonides the great Jewish philosopher.
It's Of histoys ronies that injustice toward the
Germany s-shoud be balanced by the end of old
one-Spain's.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1935-04-05
Sunlight Exerts Enormous
Pressure

In midsummer, asphalt pave
ments and dark metal objects
can get hot enough to fry an
egg, This heat, every bit of
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1935-04-05

Before there is any tamper-
ing at either end of Constitu-
ton Avenue with the traditional
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1935-04-05
Greatest Show On Earth
Blu John SnUre, T.

The Senate's dancing Senators
are divided on the question of
which is the best ballroom in
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1935-04-05
No Food With Her Meals!

So she started dieting
Yes, I know, I'm beginning In
the middle but every fat lady
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1935-04-05

} speaker need not be interrupt
ed unless he so desiresO