The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1935-07-27
HoIIyW ood
CiggIes


town, 38 boys and girls, SO dogs
and two puppies, which gives a
total of 38 for the canine popula-
ton, and according to the last
count, we have 38 cats"
The five little year-old Dionne
girls have brought about such an
increase in railroad and passenger
traffic to and from Calender,
Ont, trading point to the family,
that a new railroad station is being
built. Heretofore, two old pas
senger coaches, joined together,
standing beside the railroad track,
have served as a station.
A weary knight Of the road had
stopped at the sign Of the George
and Dragon" and had asked the
landlady for a bite to eat, and
mayhap, an old pair of pants.
She (testily, etc.)-No, I haven't
anything for the likes Of you, and
I don't want to see you around
here again. Well, be off with you.
What do you want now?
Tramp (meekly)-Well, then,
nam, could I speak to George?
After the death of Leon G. Nc
Burney in San Pedro, Cal, in
1888, his will showed he had be-
queathed $1,000 annually from
the income of his estate to Presi-
dent Roosevelt, and another 81, 900
to Joseph Stain, Russian dictator.
His children were left with only 81
apiece. Immediately Hafter Presi'
dent Roosevelt received notice Of
the bequest, he ordered his $1,000
yearly to be paid over to McBur-
ney's children. After lengthy cor
respondence, and much unwind
ing of red tape, the papers in the
Stain bequest finally have been
returned with the same DISPOSE
ton ordered, assignment of the
$1,000 to the McBurney children.
A Scottish cleric owned a farm,
which was run as economically as
possible. One day, taking a stroll,
he saw his ploWman sitting idle
on the handle of the pillow, while
the horses took needed rest. He
was paying the man six pence an
hour, and so he gently, but re-
proachfully, said:
John, wouldn't it be a good
plan for you to have a pair OF
shears, and be trimming these
bushes along the fence, while the
horses are resting?"
John returned the minister's
gaze and answered: And might ]
suggest that you take bowl OF
potatoes into the pulpit and peel
'em during the anthem?"
London Magistrate Ito Scot who
has been out painting the town
red'D-Seven days imprisonment
The Scot-Ye Gamma do that;
I'm only up here on an excursion
ticket good for two days.
Her Wealthy Father-How can
you have the cheek to ask for my
daughter when you are earning
such a small salary?
Suitor-Well, you see, I didn't
like to turn down my job until
was sure of your consent.
A plumber joined the Royal En-
gineers and was Immediately given
a test-the making of a joint for
lead pipe.
The senior N. C. o. sent a writ
ten report of the test to the com
handing officer. It read: "Joint
very well done"
Next day the man was appointed
to the officers mess.
At Addison, N. Y, the First Bap.
fist congregation wanted chimes
for their church, but could not at.
ford the expense of buying a new
set. w. w. ROLES, garage man,
father-in-law of the Rev. Kenneth
Arnold, pastor of the church, dis
covered the musical quality of
brake drums from cars, which
gave him an idea. He selected a
dozen discarded drums that had
the right pitch of tone, and rugged
them up in the church Steeple,
where they form an unique CARL
lon. The chimes are played with
a metal hammer.
In Turkey a law compels every
newspaper to print at least five
new words of the Turkish Ian
guage every day. At the same
time, each paper must daily omit
five old words from the vocabulary
in use during the age of the sui
tans. A government Language
commission" sends out a daily
bulletin, giving the five new words
and the five condemned ones, to
be printed the following day, and
all good citizens are asked to mem
orize promptly definitions given
with the new ones, and as prompt
ly discontinue use of the old ones.
In this way, the Turkish govern
ment hopes to build up and to
maintain a more modern Ian
guage. A plan Of this kind might
not be amiss in the United States,
where science, industry, politics,
etc., are now outdoing the slang
makers in coming new words to
fit the accelerated life of this
country-words that have not yet
found their way into the diction'
airy, such as braintruster, aviga'
ton, streamliner, boondoggling,
etc.