The Indianapolis times., 1935-12-03
Squaring
The Circle
With
McCREADY HUSTON
MoCREADY HUSTON

IF there is anything better de-
l. signed to take the joy out of life
it is a set of X-rays of what one
fatuously calls ones teeth. Dental
and Photographic art has advanced
so far in recent years that the
dentist can show you most dis
heartening set Of views. 1 haze
Just been to a premier showing OF
my own film and I am temporarily
distraught. I probably shall re-
cover, but just now would like to
meet the fellow who perfected the
derCs.l X-ray.
You go along for years. thinking
you have taken care of your teeth
and then. in an unguarded moment,
you submit to having your whole
mouth photographed. And when
you go back for the showing you
discover you haven't any teeth at
all. Not what dentist would call
teeth. And you are told that what
other ailments you have probably
come from your infected teeth.
I am the son of dentist, but the
dear old man passed away before
the era of deploring the patients
teeth. He never had an X-ray ma
chine.
THEN there was this eye man
Il who said I shouldn't read in
bed. All I wanted from him was
pair of glasses and I came away
with my only pleasure outlaWed.
Well, We'll just ignore that. A man
with tooth trouble is not going to
be deprived of his only compensa-
ton.
What shall a fellow do in those
wee Sma hours when sleep eludes
him? Shall he pad down to the
living room, looking like a wrath
in dressing gown, his hair all
tousled, and in doing so awaken all
the innocentS in the household? No;
he must lie there and suffer. with
all the sins of his past rushing like
a cinema across his mind, or switch
On the bed-head lamp and read.
One remedy would be a sitting
room adjoining the bedroom. But
as long as America is on an eight
room house basis it is reading in
bed or nothing. What the medicoes
ought to do is find something beside
sedatives that will insure against
the awful hours of wakefulness.
You see, I'm not talking about
reading oneself to sleep in the fore
part of the night. It's the wake
full after-part when reading seems
the only way out.
And it has its merits. An Indian
apolis man got through Anthony
Adverse by a succession of sessions
all between two and four in the
morning. That enabled him to
boast that he had read it, so what |
if it did shorten his life.
A LOCAL man was returning by
4 "A motor from a long Western trip
with his family. He had some car
trouble and turned into a garage in
a village to get some repairs. The |
garage man asked him if he would |
give him some help moving a stove.
The Hoosier agreed, thinking the
stove was in the building. Where
upon the garage keeper bowed him
into a truck and dashed three miles
into the country to a farm house
where the stove was. Then the pair
dashed back and work was begun on
the customers car. Our friends |
wife naturally thought her husband |
had been kidnapped.
To cap the climax the owner of /
the stove blithely offered his Gus
toner a quarter.
The worst part of writing a piece
like this is being stuck for a last
paragraph or a last line. I wonder
if this will DO? One of my friends
who gets around town a good deal
has been talking to musicians in
night clubs He says an accordion
ist has to have two instruments be-
cause an accordion has to have a
rest once in while or it won't func-
ton.
Some people think an accordion
should have a permanent rest.