Worcester Democrat and the ledger-enterprise. (Pocomoke City, Md.) 1921-1953, 1935-10-11
~
from the
Democrats Pen
from the

Well Sir, l met good friend Oh
mine on the street one day last week,
and he asked me where l was going.
"Going to listen to a broadcast of
the World Series," I replied.
"Going to listen to what?" he asked.
By which question you will readily
understand, he was not much OF
base ball enthusiast; indeed he had
never played the game and knew very
little about the fine points-or dull
points either-of the national pastime.
81 am going to listen to broadcast
of the World Series base ball game"
elucidated. "Wont you come along :"
"Now I'll be darned if I do. and
I'd think you'd have better sense than
to waste your time on such a fool
thing as base ball games?"
why" said, "aren't you interested
in these classics of the diamond?"
"In what? Say talk United States
to me please. I don't know anything
about classic diamonds, and 1 don't
want to know, unless you are talking
about the real high priced jewelry.
don't know anything about your old
game. and don't want to know; but
what was that you called 'em?"
"World Series"
"World Series, Eli! How many ma
lions take part in these classic dia-
monds'? What in heck are they, sorta
modified specimens of the Olympics ?"
81 see you are not very well posted
on the modus operandi Of the sport"
"There you go again; if you mean
l don't know anything about the pas
time of these grown up, able bodied
galoots who ought to be at work,
you're ALFRED right. never went to
but one of the tarnal games, and l
might as well have been in the wilds of
Central Africa, trying to understand
the jargon of the natives, as to figure
out what that crowd was at.
"They said a whole lot of stuff,
they didn't mean, and one man they
called an Empire, he kept up a run
ming fire of talk without anybody no
ticing what he said. Why, / heard
him tell lot of players they were
out but they didn't even look at him,
just walked slow and impudent like
to their seats and were back again
right in the same old spot next time.
"And lot of queer stuff they got
off about man standing there with
a pole in his hands, and every once
in a while the Empire would yell at
out 'Strike!' and anybody who had
eyes could see nobody was hit, and
nobody even trying to pick up fuss.
Seems to me he was just doing his
best to make trouble.
"After a while began to see the
man with the pole was trying to smack
the ball some teller was throwing in.
How in the world anybody could ex-
pect to hit the thing when the man
throwing it was doing everything ne
could to keep him from it, was more
than I could understand. And then
after some guy did succeed in lam
min one, he seemed too lazy to go
very far. He'd run a little way and
then go take his seat down in sort
of ash pit along with some others.
"Then I listened to lot of CAB
about home runs, when I didn't see
anybody runnin' home; about stolen
bases, and nobody arrested; about fly
catches, and there wasn't fly-trap
anywhere in sight; about base hits
which meant nothin'; about the men
dying on the bags, and I didn't see
a single corpse; about sliding, and l
couldn't see anything slippery to help
'em out; and, finally, I got so scared
that the man throwing that ball would
turn himself inside out-so many con-
tortions he went through-that I got
up and left, and have never been to a
game since"
l saw he was hopeless, and said
good bye, till we could talk about
something else.