The Washington times., 1935-03-27
Spring Echoes
In Capital
DUST STORIES
BY HELEN ESSARY

ETC., suddenly needed. Consider.
ing previous record of twins, this
strain on their own wardrobe
and on parental discipline unim.
portant.
Young Washington matron
visiting Vienna, after waltzing
to "The Blue Danube" six nights
In succession, with beautiful,
long-legged college youth, writes
fat American husband she has
decided on divorce.
Certain members of diplo-
matte corps in Washington step
on scales. Shudder with horror
as the dial spins around. Grimly
add up number of seasonal din
nerS, lunches, cocktail parties
and balls attended merrily in
cause of duty.
Members of corps go on hun
ger strike over Week-ends in
March!
Rumor that dust storms in
Middle West are blowing upper
crust" (ancient word for best
families) eastward is unfounded.
Rumor also unfounded that
Representative from corn belt
rushed to window as dust storm
Swirled around office building,
shifted the air, and said:
"There goes IdahO!"
Vulgar visitor from Cali
fornia declares that some of
Washington's distinguished citi-
ZenS need lancing.
Bureau of Standards an
nounces that, although corn.
stalks do make fine white
paper, cost of process four
times more than paper made
of wood pulp. This seems very
sad news. Why, we don't know.
Perhaps because farmers re-
gard cornStalks as nuisance.
Animals won't eat them. They
make poor fertilizer. And Hal
lowe'en comes only once a year.
Amos w. w. Woodcock, presi-
dent of st. Johns College at
Annapolis, has always seemed
the genteelest little man in
academic captivity.
But-Amos told the Eastern
Shore Society that William Clai-
borne, not Leonard Calvert, was
first settler of Maryland. And
that the Maryland Tercentenary
was celebrated three years too
late.
To a believer in the infalli-
bility of the early Lords Balti-
more, William Claiborne was
combination of Captain Kidd.
Hitler, Aimee Semple McPher"
son and Gyp the Blood.
Gracious, Amos! What's hap"
pened to you?
Ghosts in their cemeteries,
milkmen on their early morn
ing routes, and stodgy citizens
in carpet slippers were jostled
out of complacency when four
carloads of treasure hunters,
inspired by the Powell Brown
ingS and Tom BrahanyS went
wandering over the unprotected
city.
The team of Mrs. William
Cammack Miller, Mr.. j. G.
Hayden, Mrs. Edward Gable
man and Mr.. James Lloyd
Wright won the prize as the
best sleuths of the evening.
Mrs. Allison Miller, Mr.. Viii.
liam Miller, Mr.. Joseph Cotter.
and Mrs. Jay Hayden rang our
own doorbell and asked for a
clue. The acrostic discovered
in the police cell in which a
policeman had politely locked
them, until they got the pass
word, sent them to a house in
q street that is the name of a
city where a man who writes
for the papers lives with a
woman named Helen. Mistake !
These were not us!
Albert Howard, Mrs. Wright,
Mr.. Allison Miller. Mrs. Robert
Taylor, and Mrs. Cotter discov"
cred that in sandwich in a
1unchroom was the answer to a
clue that said next train to
Columbus plus four" (The
next Pennsylvania train left at
11:O5 so the hunters translated
and went to 1109 Pennsylvania
Ave.
A clue found among grave
stones with the aid of a flash
light sent Mr.. Edward Gable.
man, Mrs. Albert Howard, Mr..
Brahany, and Miss Snow look
ing for an estate whose name
is a jest Friendship, where
the Ned McLeans used to live) .
Mr.. Maynard Owen Williams
Is particularly proud of the Ma
tional Geographic Society's ex.
hibit of paintings of Asiatic
lands and peoples, since he es.
corted Alexandra Iacovleff, the
artist thereof, on desert trek.
Mr.. Williams is official pho
tographer of the National Geo
graphic Society. DIR. John w.
Studebaker, Commissioner of
Education, says that out of 80
million adults, 81 million are
without high school education
and 80 million have not finished
an eighth grade course.