The Washington times., 1935-09-05
NOW
Getting NeWs
On O. Dull Day
CREATIVE ART
BY HELEN ESSARY

NSN-@--J
from being a reporter in the
little town where l started out
as a cub"
So said a correspondent OF
. New England paper as he
slipped his second highban.
"Here, news is popping every
minute. But where 1 learned
about newspapers so little hap
pened that an editor would be
liable to order you to go out
and write a lively yarn about
welI-abOut fish. Reporting in
my early days was challenge
to your ingenuity. 1t was fun,
too.
"TlI never forget the time
Tom Logan and 1 went scien-
tific. One day the city editor
told Tom to do a Snappy
column about a Goldfish. Tom
had the next desk to mine. He
said he didn't know anything
about fish. Except that he was
Catholic and he had to eat
them on Friday.
"'Write about how to tell
the age of a goldfish I said,
and make it funny. Say that
If a cOdfish's whiskers are long
and dropping like a Chinese
mandarin's that that Goldfish
is not as young as he was.
He's probably a grandfather
"But has Goldfish got
whiskers" said Tom. Anyhow,
1t would be better to get an
interview, don't you think?'
"'Sure, 1 said. Write your
own interview. Make up a
scientist. 1t won't do any
harm to anybody
"Well, between us, we fixed
M a fish expert. Made him
English. Called him Sir Andrew
Fitzwater, F. r. S.
1--WE had Sir Andrew talking
pretty freely about everything
that swan. Tom got an encyc-
lopedia and the rest was easy.
"Then 1 invented an old sea
captain, George Bunting. Cap'n
George used to take exception to
what Sir Andrew said. We had
q swell controversy that ran for
days.
"Tom began to run out Of fish
ideas, having no real interest in
them. anyhow. So l suggested
that he 60 to that bridge Long
fellow wrote abOut-yOu know,
4 Stood on the Bridge at Mid
night'-and watch the founders
there-even if there weren't any
founders.
"And get Sir Andrew to say
that if the new dam continued
to change the tides and let the
fresh water in, forcing the
founders to the top, the fish
would not only be flatter than
ever, the water would force
holes in them and make them
into a sort of fish doughnut.
There was a story!
CATER it was published the
New York reporters came up to
interview Sir Andrew. Tom and
/ had to say he had gone back
to England.
7 "The city editor used to like
to send me around to make
something out Of nothing. Once
my assignment was a floating
summer hospital for children.
When the floating hospital came
into dock-I was on wharf
waiting for 1.-THE sisters in
charge discovered that one of
the prayers hanging on the
walls of a sick child's room was
missing. The sick child had
been seen gnawing on it.
"There was my story. l
wrote a yarn full of heart
thrObs about a poor baby that
was diving, Ate a prayer. And
got well.
"The press associations car.
ried that all over the country"
"Another time the city editor
sent me to the meeting of the
Sunday school superintendent.
Get a hot story out of it, too
he said.
Imagine, can you, a hot
story out Of a Sunday school
meeting!
81 sat in the audience for
about a half hour, listening to
q lot of dull reports. Suddenly
one speaker said something that
gave me a cue. He declared:
! "'ToO many Sunday school
superintendent won't come out
and see the light. They live
in the dark like grOundhOgs.'
! Listen l said to the fellow
next to me, The speaker just
called you a grounding. Gosh,
/ wouldn't let man insult me
like that. Why don't you get
up and talk back? Give him
what he deserves. Intimate
he's a liar or something
"Well, that was the begin.
ming of the best fight I have
ever seen at anybOdy'S meeting.
/ "And did get a story"
r "Sure, you can freshen the