The Coolidge examiner., 1935-12-13

go to consult him about your bill,
which is probably the thing which
is paining you most at the moment,
but before you can open your mouth
he opens it for you, sticks the end
of a tire-hOse in. puts clothes pin
on your nose and at the end of 10
minutes pulls pin-checked paper
out of a cylinder with jiggly lines
shooting up and down 1t and ex-
claims triumphantly, "There, told
you it was the pink-eye! You can
see for yourself"
And l don't dispute him for the
same reason that the chinaman's
laundry list never checks with
mine.
Of course department stores have
been going for this charting and sur
veying in a big way and over a
long period, not realizing that a
period is really full stop. Indeed
no department store is complete
without the department that makes
up its secret cross-bOw puzzles
which. when and If worked out.
show for instance. that 10 pairs
of mems pants divided by half
practically equals getting at the
seat of things.
But the best example of this new
game of a group telling the indi-
vidual how to run his business and
proving it by scratching -as-scratch
can, is the Administration. This
charting has even crept into relief
work and if anybody thinks that a
form of relief, they're crazy. Not
that | want to make myself per-
sonae au gratin with the govern
ment any more than I am already
over my income tax. but I can't
help noticing when an investigation
Bored unearthS the fact that some
guys on the relief rolls or who had
been rolling the relief or some
thing, had put in lot of time MAX
Ing survey of exactly where there
was no electric lighting in Sumatra
In 1926. Sort of King of All the
Surveys" stuff. eh, what?
At that these charts might have
their useful side. For example. the
next time one of my creditors writes
and asks me why haven't paid my
bill, | might get a pad of that
sports goods paper. and taking my
pen between my toes to insure un-
steadiness make up a chart and
send it to him with the remark.
You can see for Yourself"
Also in writing the kind Of letter
In which you discuss the weather
we are having, chart of this pop
ular kind would save describing the
lightning. The one who received
it would undoubtedly supply the
thunder.
And when it comes to firing the
cook, a chart of your digestion
showing high and low points of
agony and pinned above the stove,
will usually do the trick. All cooks
think that anything they can't un-
derStand is an insult.
Personally l am a bit quaint in
my Ideas. The only time | think
two heads are better than one Is
when a kiss is involved, and no
charts are needed to promote eff
ficiency.
Practically every big man and
important woman in this country
got where they are by doing some
thing the experts said couldn't be
done. The weak crowd in herds,
the strong stand alone. And the
strength of any country including
the Scandinavian, is the power and
gifts of those leaders who have
worked out their own salvation, on
the principle that man is what he
makes himself, not what somebody
else tells him he ought to be-
Once in Ireland, every man was
King. How about adopting that
slogan for America before we be-
come a letter in the Alphabet or a
numeral in a ledger, instead?
9 Nina Wilcox Putnam.-WNU Service.