Evening star., 1935-12-24

made 1t entirely plain that
~ he does not love me. This
has wounded my pride deeply and we
have had terrible scenes which leave
us both wrecks. ! have sworn to my
self that I will not give him a mo-
ment's freedom; that I will follow
every move he makes; that will not
give him q divorce or any peace, even
II 1t kills me, Just so can make him
as unhappy as he has made me. Can
you suggest any manner of revenge
beside my present way? I feel he
should be hurt some way for hurting
me so much. TROUBLED.
Answer.-Revenge is a boomerang.
1t returns to those who hurl it and
annihilates them. When you seek to
take revenge upon those who have in
jured you you hurt yourself far more
than you hurt them. 1t has been said
that revenge Is sweet. Never has
Revenge is as bitter as gall, and it de-
stroys all the flavor in life for those
who saturate their thoughts with it.
1t Is a poison that eats into the hearts
and brains of people and warps them,
and finally slays everything that is
good in them.
How true this is you can see from
your own experience. You must know
that you have not had minutes hap
pineSs or peace of mind or ease of
conscience since you started out to
avenge yourself on your husband for
the wrong you consider that he has
done you. If you will be honest with
yourself. you will realize that you have
not had a single cheerful thought or
had carefree moment since you set
yourself to be avenged on him.
You have dwelt on his unfaithful-
ness until it has become an OBJ
session with you. Many times your
mind has gone over every detail of
your misfortune until you have lost
the ability to eat or sleep or find
pleasure in anything. You can't even
talk of anything else. And the end
of it all will be, if you don't snap out
Of 1t, that you will become nervous
wreck, and bore whom your friends
will avoid because they are worn out
with listening to your troubles.
So give up your melodramatic plan
of revenging yourself on your husband
for your own sake. Unless you have
such a f1endish nature yourself that it
would justify him in ceasing to love
you. you cannot find any pleasure in
making him as miserable as you are.
You have to be built that way to get
kick out Of torturing a person and
seeing him writhe, and not many
women are so cruel. You can, of
course. refuse your husband divorce
and make him and the woman he loves
eat out their hearts in loneliness and
longing for each other, but doubt if
the knowledge that you have hurt
them as much as they have hurt you
will bring you the solace that you
think it will.
sympathize with you deeply in the
loss of your husbands love. That is a
hard thing for any wife to be called
upon to endure. but it Is not always,
perhaps not often, the mans fault.
Love comes and goes as it wills.
WE HAVE no control over it and we
cannot force ourselves to love a
person because it is OUR duty to do so.
We do not know why we love nor why
we cease to love. And so we should
temper justice with mercy in dealing
with those who have somehow, some
way, lost their affection for us.
think you will find more happiness
in just accepting the situation as it is
instead of rebelling against it, and in
forgiving your husband rather than
seeking revenge upon him. In for
giveness you will find healing for the
wound he has dealt you, but in trying
to avenge yourself upon him you will
prod at the old sore and keep it fester-
ing until it will poison your whole life.
DOROTHY DIX.
NEAR MISS DIX: When read the
letters in your column from wom
en- who have good husbands and good
homes, but who are bored with do
mestic life and complain about having
to do housework, wonder if they ever
realize how many Of us business
women would like to be in their places.
1 have been working for 19 years and
Tending for myself, and I would like
to have some strong shoulder to lean
on, and to do cooking for a change
from typing. I am in love with a
man of 40, and for four years the
happy day has failed to come because
he can't leave his mother. What can
you do with bachelors who are tied
to their mothers apron strings? 1
have recently met man who is just
the opposite He is in love with me
and like him, but I don't have the