The Washington times., 1935-08-03

game which won't tax your
minds too much and ought pro.
vide a lot of gay laughing and
handclapping at the end.
Now suppose. we hold a mock
court today.
All Clap Hands!
Let's play we are a boxing
commission and that, by some
mysterious way, a preliminary
fight, which never embrace very
good talent at best and are ex-
pected to be a little smelly any
way. is stopped at the end OF
the second round and called
mo contest"
The referee, whose job it is
to tolerate good or bad fights,
does not agree with the an
nouncement and so informs the
announcer who is sent into the
ring by a ring inspector who
gets his orders from a boxing
secretary who consults one
Judge about the matter, not
wishing to disturb the other
Judge, who is reading a news
paper.
At the mock court, the referee
is called on the carpet for repri-
mand. Neither the announcer,
ring inspector or judges are
called, and the ring secretary.
playing dumb. is there, but only
in the capacity of a top SER
geant, not to he asked why he
directed the bout called mo
contest"
Dumb Like a Jackal!
According to the legend, my
dear little ones, as it is handed
down to us in Mother Goose
Rhymes, the referee who mildly
protested the mo contest" de-
cision before the announcer
pulled it out of his high hat
was saddled with the faux pas,
pronounced foxy-woxy paxy-
waxy, my little ones!
In its quaint, crossroads
legal twistings, the commission,
by some distorted mental GYM
nastics, saddles the whole blame
on the referee; at least, the
script reads that way.
He is pronounced negligent
and dumb, like a fox. because
he doesn't openly defy, before
a crowd, the ring top sergeant,
who happens to be the fellow
who gives him his referee as
SignmentS, which mean some
thing like $40 per night to him.
But neither the top sergeant
who ordered mo contest" the
one judge who was watching
the fight and the other who
was reading newspaper, nor
the ring inspector or ring
announcer are called to the
mock court for testimony. say
nothing of given a chance to
pin the mo contest" where it
really belongs. But instead, the
referee. the one official in the
whole fairyland who wanted the
fight to go on, is given the grid
die because he didn't openly
defy his superior who has it in
his clutches to make referee as
Signments worth 10 berries each.
That, my young uns, is a
typical example of mock
court as staged by the District
Of Columbia Boxing Commits
sion. which should be an ex-
ample for the rest of the ma
tion-but. isn't.
Now, do you think the referee
was dumb like a fox, or smart
like a dolt?
Next Case on Docket
Next case on the docket be-
fore the mock court is the case
of a matchmaker who twice
mates his pugilistic brother
against cream-puffs.
A finger of warning is shaken
in his face and he is told to
go and sin no more, as the
earth trembles beneath his
No. los.
PRESTO!
The scene sh
The courts cog robber mo-
mentarily becomes a match
maker for the police benefit
bouts.
He matches the match
makers pugilistic brother, whom
we shall call Bobby. for short,
with a fighter named Jim Fitz-
simmons, who, if he is the same
Jim Fitzsimmons who fought
in Washington some months
ago. could hardly stand on
his feet, say nothing of harm
q two-day dead Soft-Shell crab.
And wouldn't it be a terrible
lot Of fun to be a boxing COM
mission and romp and play
and let your imagination run
rampant with the birds and
bees and trees and flowers?
And now. my chickies, whad-
day'u say about a nice. rousing
game Of ring-around Rosy?