The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1935-07-11
NOW
Mules Become
Munitions
WIFELY VIRTUE
BY HELEN EssARY

Secretary Dern is a good story
teller. Here is one Of his IA
vorite tales. It's short and to
the point.
"A man was Dragging about
his wife. He said she was just
about the finest wife any fellow
ever had!
Indeed, IL 1t weren't for this
one little thing, he'd say she
was perfect - when she got
drunk, she just would swear!"
A few gentlemen Of the press
were discussing the possible ship
Hment of American arms to the
disagreeing Italians and Abys-
sinians with Secretary of State
Hull.
Somebody mentioned the re.
cent purchase in the Southern
States of horses and their ship
ment to Italy. One newspaper
man inquired:
''Mr. Secretary, is . mule
.InunitiOns?"
Promptly another reporter an
kwered:
ct depends on the end
you're on"
Too bad the Secretary didn't
make the answer himself. He
missed a good chance. And
"Judge" Hull comes from Ten
nessee, where they know so
much about mules.
Dumas Malone, who edited
the Eleventh Volume of the Die
tionary of American Biography
.ljust out and brightly praised),
told me the other day that since
his book dealt only with dead
Americans, most of his recent
contacts had been spiritual"
DR.. Malone says that the
Presidents of the United States
have been Of old American stock.
The highest positions in Ameri-
can life, except for certain
brisk exceptions, have been held
by the American born.
Among the exceptions are:
Alexander Graham Bell, who
invented the telephone. born in
Scotland, of which Franklin K.
Lane and Andrew Carnegie also
were natives, and James j. HILL
railroad builder, Canadian.
Karl Scherz, political philo-
sopher, came over from Ger.
many with the Forty-Eighters.
The first August Belmont was
born in the Austrian Tyrol and
trained in the House of Roths-
child. Ericsson, the inventor,
was born in Sweden.
The most successful business
men in America have been of
Scotch-Irish or English ancestry.
In politics foreign birth is dis
advantage because Of racial
antagoniSm.
Queries: How many genera.
tions does it take to make an
American?
And in the personality Of the
editor Of American Biography,
does the French Dumas or the
Irish Malone rule?
New England NOtes-You
, may be vacationing up that
way soon.
Up in Vermont, where parents
! look with disfavor upon Dor
rowing ahead on allowances,
but where children spend as
gaily as in the improvident
South, a one-ring circus came
; to town unheralded.
| Hastily the youth Of the town
got together and gave a garden
mart. The most popular table
was Of pollywogs sold in quin-
tuplet lots. For an extra nickel
one could buy a box of particu-
larry obnoxious mud, very sat-
jSfying to pollywogs.
The mart was a great sue
cess. And so was the circus.
The Bureau of Fisheries Is ,
annoyed at the new style in cuff
links followed by Cape Codders.
! Fish tags you've probably
! never heard of them until this
minute) are earnestly attached
by fishery experts to soup and
winter founders for migration
study. The tags are made of
two small celluloid disks. One
disk is worth a dollar at the
Bureau of Fisheries.
Few Of the tags, however, ever
reach the bureau laboratories
for record. They go into cuff
links at the wrists of husky
fishermen.
Anne Randolph, who has been
secretary to some of the most
important women in Washing.
ton, including wives Of Presi.
dents and Cabinet officers,
doesn't yearn to write a book
Of her observations.
The success of Ike Hoover's
White House anecdotes does
not tempt her to tell all she
knows neither now nor later.
"I'll never, never do anything
of that Sort" says Miss r a n.