The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1935-02-11
Friendship
May Survive
Divorce Suit
Former Mates Need Not
Hold Hatred After
Wavs Part.
BY ESTELLE VI. STEINBERGER
F,.~utfrs Director World PeaceWays.

A TOPIC that remains an oddly
"a IN the news and in converse
ton is whether the ex-wife. her
former husband and his new wife
ought 70 b. or could be good friends.
There are two families IN the sub
urbS Of Philadelphia who for several
wears had their round Of card games
in each others home. One day the
men discovered each was IN love
NTH the others wife. They obtained
divorces and have continued their
close friendships. The card games
they had enjoyed with one another
have gone on. the only difference
being that the couple departing
after a social evening is an altered
combination. AL four Of these in
dividuaIs are men and women OF
high intelligence. charm and cul-
ture.
w. Beran Wolfe has every rea-
son for saying.
our present divorce laws are
written as II every husband and
every wife were natural-bOrn enc
mics. aCtuated BY primitive jungle
sntagonisms. Hardly any place for
decenCv and sympathy can be
found. The matter Of divorce, there
fore. often becomes . matter Of dis
tasteful collisions and conspiracies.
the breaking up not only Of emo
tionaI and family ties but deep
rooted social and OcCupational IN
terests.
Men and women in the fields OF
science have formed partnerships
whose benefits TO the race are CO.
lOssal as compared with most mar
rage relationships.
Professors. students Of society
and research men Will work side by
side for years in complete accord
and suddenly nit upon a theory that
means the parting Of the ways.
Their collaboration develops
friendship and understanding that
surpass in depth the affection be-
tween many husbands and wives.
When they agree TO walk along diff
ferent highways they do not. bar
ring exceptional instances. declare
an eternal war Of mutual hate. They
can. without any awkwardneSs. take
each others hand in greeting when
ever they meet. They can sit down
calmly TO discuss the ideas that led
20 their divorce" and 10 alliances
with new ideas.
Experience Enriched
The relations Of ex-husband and
ex-wife should be no different. That
a certain woman had won the ex-
husbands affection before the d.
vorce should not make the ex-wife
reSolutely set against having any
thing To do with either Of them.
Fifteen years. or any consider
able number of years of companion
ship. should have developed many
phases OF experience on which two
persons could. with profit. continue
II consult each other every now and
then during the period following
their divorce. And why should not
an ex-wife add TO that chain If ex-
peuence the newest link selected by
hcr cx-hUsband2 What are the ma
tural obstacles tc a continued and
enlarged friendship with ones ex-
husband and his new wife?
I can see some natural obstacles.
II a man and woman have despised
each other throughout their married
wears: II they have never cOnflded
IN each other: if they sought no in
EpiratiOn from each other in any i'm
pOrtant venture-then 1 can under
stand that they are happier out Of
each others sight for the rest Of
their earthly span. If the woman
Is one who has enjoyed the wretch
edneSs Of her marriage she will be
reluctant to share with her former
mate any new. uplifting and buoy
ant companion if he is eventually
successful in getting a divorce.
If there are any children the need
Is even greater for this rapprOche-
ment between ex-huSband. his new
mate. the ex-wife and the children.
ANY attitude Of hostility or alOOfneSS
is bound 10 break out in discussions
Of self justification within the one
or other household. In those dis
CuSSiOns some or all are bound %
come out injured. These recrimina-
lions breed deeper hatreds and a de-
sire 10 get even somehow or at
some time.
Some Condemn Amity
AS I write there flashes into my
mind the instance OF two persons
who had parted in bitterness and
maintained that feeling. For years
there was a cordial relationship be-
tween the daughters and the father,
and between those same daughters
and the fathers former wife. Now
the father has turned viciOuSly