Evening star., 1935-03-10

NE OF the common delusions
nowadays is that the world
I was just one big yap settle
~ ment during "the gay nine
ties" The word gay" is re-
garded as flip sarcasm. In books
and on the screen our relatives OF 40
years ago have been depicted as
primitive boobs Men favored whiskers.
tight trousers and pancake derbies.
Women made themselves hideous with
great gobs of hair. puff sleeves and
cartwheel hats. Their long, trailing
skirts were dust-catchers. The IA
vorite song was She May Have Seen
Better Days"
poor simps Of that distant period were
not acquainted with our fly and up-to-
date vernacular. All of our picturesque
slang words and phrases are supposed
to be recent inventions. Oh, fiddle!
Would it surprise you to learn that
Just 100 years ago Pierce Egan wrote
book of enormous popularity called
Life in London, or the Adventures OF
Tom, Dick and Harry and the Cor
inthian," and that the volume was
packed with the same kind Of frivolous
and sporty talk that is used by the
juvenile high-rollers of today? Would
it surprise you further to know that
not much slang of the kind used by
sophisticated smarties has been In
vented since the nineties?
I am going to set down an imaginary,
impossible and idiotic conversation be-
tween two versatile slickers of about
the year 1896. Every word or phrase
found in the wise-cracking not only
had been used, but had found its way
into print back yonder in the nineties
If necessary I can name the publica-
ton and give the exact page to prove
that each gem is genuine antique
Here is the enlightening talk:
"Ah, greetings to my old college
chum! You look like the breakin' up
of bad Winter. Been out among
emp"
i've got bats in my belfry an bees
in my bonnet. My coppers are hot
I have to reach way out to scratch
my head. My mouth tastes like a
Chinese family had just moved out
This guy following me is old r. E
Morse. started on hop juice. After
a few scuttles o. suds I shifted to the
hard stuff, got a half-Nelson on a
brannigan an finished in the discard. "
WELL, don't want to kid or jolly
w a boob that can't carry his
cargo but you sure look like 80 cents.
You'd better smoke up or you'll burn
low and go out"
Il got in with a sporty push an
when I frisked myself this G. M. I
didn't have a SOU nlarkee. I went
out to roll the bones. thought I was
Johnny -on-the-spot an Willie-at-the-
rat-hole. I was TT, the whole thing,
a four-time winner, hot number, a
pace-maker, a Slayer from Stayers-
vile. AS a sport, I am very much to
the sandpaper. On the q.t., I'm a big
| stiff, Slob, punk, ham, an easy
mark, bloke, a gillie, a rummy, a
skate, a mug, chump, dirty deuce.
a pin-head. Them gazaboes took all
my dough to the last buck. They
separated me from all my kopecks
louies an samoleons They threw the
boots into me. They took all the coin
I'd put in the sock to buy myself q
new benny, a swell lid, keester an
swell layout o. dizzy togs."
"Why didn't you string along with
me? was hittin' the high spots. Have
you sized up my new strip O callco'
Little bright-eyes is a peach, cute
rag, a lallypaloozer, a honey y-cooler, 9
Jim dandy, q scorchalorum. hot.
footed up to her hangout, got the GLAD
hand. With her I'm the main squeeze
aces and eights, the stroke oar. With
out tossin' any bouquets at myself, II
put you hep to the fact that all the
yaps, jays, greenies, rubes an yokel'
are also-rans. She's nuts about me
When I wrap my I'm around her an
take the old lunch-hook in mine, SHE
can't see nobody else with a tele.
scope. Yes, sir, I've copped out q
queen an she's for me from sody tt
hook, from soup to nuts"
did you do the heavy?"
I'VE put on plenty Of side. We wen