The Washington times., 1935-12-13
NOW
The Latest Sign
OF Prosperity
HISTORIC JOKES
By HELEN ESSARY

By HELEN ESSARH
Things Are Getting Better All
the Time Department.:
The manager of a 10-cent store
Just told me of a sign of return
ing prosperity. The pickpocketS
he says, are operating with much
more freedom than at any time
during the depression era.
The manager declined to say If
he thought pickpockets were too
tender-hearted to steal from shop
pers during that thin time, or
whether pockets just weren't
worth picking.
When a press conference asked
Mrs. Roosevelt if the fact thai
the White House kitchens were
now up-to-date meant that din
ners would include dishes which
could not formerly be cooked on
the antiquated stoves, Mrs. RooSe'
velt looked startled, then amused
With her characteristic secret
twinkle in her eye, she said;
Il don't think you need expect
any radical change in the dinner
menus"
This remark, translated freely
would seem to indicate that Mrs
Roosevelt thought that changes
below stairs were for the serenity
of the spirit of the domestic staff
not for the Utilization of the appe'
tites Of already we'll fed White
House guests"
A Managing Editor I know says
every Columnist Joke should be
published with its family tree.
A genealogical chart of the ori.
gin of ancient wheezes as they ap,
peared in the Garden of Eden,
showing their descendants and
sprouts, their relations by mar
riage and their bars sinister in sue
ceeding centuries, their recent ap'
pearanceS in radio chatter and
campaign speeches should be
printed beside every anecdote.
This system, the Managing Edi'
tor said, would soon do away with
all jokes. And eventually with all
columns. And result in space in
papers for little news.
Young William F.. H. Santel
mann, just appointed second leader
of the Marine Band, is a son OF
the famous Santelmann who
helped bring the Marine Band to
glory, and remembers how his
father used to play the violin for
an annual ceremonial event. Every
year when he was arrayed in his
most splendid uniform, Mr.. San
telmann would call to his son
Bring me that violin"
Finding e place on his shoulder
to rest the instrument in the heavy
gold bullion of epaulets, the elder
Santelmann would swiftly tune ur
the fiddle he hadn't touched fol
a year. And start off to welcome
royalty or Presidents as the occa
sion required.
All in the Family:
She said: ''I don't see why WI
never go to night clubs like othe'
people do. We have Bill anC
Sara with us and tonight woult
seem to be a chance to breal
down a little"
He said: Whatever people sc,
in night clubs is beyond me. It.
Just sitting around in smoky, bat
air and grinly saying This is tn
life Meanwhile, drinking enough
to kill you the next day."
She said: why must you a
ways be so difficult?" He said
"Oh, we'll, it is II o'clock already
Let's get in the car and get
over with"
AS they started off, Bill an
Sara on the back seat cried
"Let's go to one of those Connec
ticut Avenue places"
A few minutes later the
stopped before one Of those Cor
necticut Avenue places-whel
He asked: why here? I'd like
change from the people you Sc
all the time" VERY WELL" sal
She, "let's go to that queer, funn
place on Fourteenth Street. I'r
not sure which one it is"
So they drove up and dow
Fourteenth Street for three-qual
ters of an hour and didn't find tn
one they thought they wantec
Then Mabel said: II always lik
a night club in a hotel be It. Let
turn back"
When the car was next parke
and the coats were checked it wa
discovered that the ropes in fror
of the hotel night club door wer
drawn.
"How about us getting in," sal
Bill to the head waiter.
Sorry, sir" said the hea
waiter. Every table is takel
But you won't have to wait lonl
There are only 18 ahead of you, d
"Nice evening" He said to He
"I told you So"
Don't be hateful" She saiC
"This is really very amusing
$50 I see," He said.
Then they silently unchecke
their hats and unparked the
car. isn't there good plaC
in Maryland?" inquired Bill.
They started toward the Di
trict Ii. when He said: I'VE al