The Waterbury Democrat., 1935-06-14
"A New Yorker
In Europe
BY PAUL HARRISON

London, June 1.-THE things I
mainly don't like about this town
are the coffee and the climate. But
there are a few other little items.
For example, there's the mis-
guided practice of serving q "sav-
ory.' You wade through a DIM.
ner from caviar to ice cream and
sliced peaches. and are feeling
pretty optimistic about every
thing. Suddenly you are con-
fronted by another course, or
"savory', consisting, perhaps, of
a dispirited sardine draped on q
catafalque of cold, leathery toast.
It's a terrible experience.
The English have their own
unique method of preparing toast.
Pieces Of stale bread are scorched
over a solf-coal fire, and then are
laid away between slices of thick
London fog to age for several
days and absorb humidity. Lest
any trace Of crispness or warmth
remain, the toast is brought to
the table on little silver racks, or
coolers.
Your correspondent never has
been able to learn the recipe for
English coffee. Except, of course,
that It isn't coffee at all, but chic
ory and charred wormwood pre-
pared according to formula dis
covered by Lucrezia Borgia and
used by her with great success at
some Of her intimate little fare
well parties AS for Yorkshire
pudding, concomitant of roast
beef, bubble-and-squea and any
and all other typically English
foods-you can have them.
Punning
The passion of these people for
being literal is something that
often depresses me. Beets are
called beet roots because, botani-
cally, they're the root of the
plant. Ask for rare steak and
you run the risk of being told
that there are plenty of steaks in
London, hence none that are rare.
"Underdone" Is the word. When
ever I seek an elevator. I'm stern
ly directly to the lift. HI can
helevate you only hup," said
sassy cockney operator. But HI
can lift you hup or Ill can lift
you down."
To this Americans notion,
That's not cricket" fails to
qualify as a phrase of opprobrium
because anything that isn't cricket
Is Just that much better off. Yet
the English not only like to play
It, but seem to enjoy watching
it. watching II for hours, week.
ends and fortnight holidays. Bat
tiers bat and run until the tally
keepers get writer's cramp, stop
ping only for meals while the pa
pers bring out sports extras with
the lunch-time scores.
When a professional team has
met an amateur team, the pros
go to a dressing hoom marked
Players and the amateurs re-.
tire to locker room labeled
Gentlemen Maybe that's crick-
ct, but don't call II sportipg.
On the Other Hand IA
Your correspondent has no
wish to set himself up as a
professional Pathfinder, nor to
create an impression that he
hasn't been having fun In Lon
don. I say -it's a beautiful town
though dampish; and saturated
with glamor and proud age and
delightful vistas, II somewhat shy
ON creature comforts. 1t still
seems funny to see chunks Of ice
for cocktail parties being bought
at fishmongers' shops. And we'll
to-do householders dragging
guests to the kitchen to inspect
the mechanical refrigerator be-
fore they're shown the ancestral
portraits in the drawing room.
like London's politeness-for
instance, the gracious little park
signs with a simple. admonitory
please, instead 70 our bluster-
ing keep Off, notices threaten
ing fines and imprisonment :,
New Workers must be continually
amazed by the absence Of rude
jostling in London's crowded
places, and the patience Of eom-
muters waiting their turns % enc
ter or leave the underground
trains.
like the calm. competent. a.
ticulate policemen, who look like
college men--and many of them
are . I'm impressed by each
new evidence OF iawfuIness-such
as a truck full of money parked
Mt curb and unattended except
by a mousey little clerk near.
sightedly peering into a notebooh
I'm fascinated by the Hydt
Park meil. where malcontenh'
blow off steam at . rate that
would land them IN pokey II they