Evening star., 1935-09-18
|Playmates
of Own Age.
IChild's Need
Intelligence May Be
Handicap Without
Similar Minds.
BY ANGELO PATRI.

CHILDERN need playmates Of their
own age. This association is as
satisfying to them as a good meal.
They seek it, fight for it, weep when
they fail to find it. Parents are be-
wildered by this demand, especially
when it is not successfully met. There
Is nothing one can do to make chill
dren play with other children If they
decide otherwise. The unwanted child
finds himself outside with no chance
of a hearing. Why does this happen
to perfectly fine children? Why do
not the other children welcome them?
A child who is unusually intelligent,
unusually large for his age, cannot
fit into the group Of children who
are his own age. This gifted child
thinks ahead Of the others distance
of several years. He organizes his play
while the others scramble along any
how and are content. He uses words
and arrangements Of words years
ahead of the others and they cannot
understand what he says. His atti-
tudes are mature by couple Of years
so that he scorns as childish much
of what his companions delight In
doing. The group turn upon him and
drive him out.
There is no way for this child to
get companionship within his age
group When he turns to the older
ones they will not give him q hear
ing.
Go home and grow up. What do
you want here? Go on, play with
your little brother" To these chill
dren who are his equals in intelligence
he seems to be an infant and they
cry, Away with him"
The intelligent. gifted child often
has lonely period of years at the
start He must stay by himself play
by himself. He takes to his books,
his hobbies, his home amusements.
He gets what pleasure he can in as
sociation with older people who nnd
him interesting. But he Is lonely.
If he can be placed in q group of
| gifted children he feels better. II this
cannot be done he must struggle along
until time spans the gap, some time
during the high school years. After
that he takes his place as q leader
and is happier.
The unusually dull child has the
same sort of trouble. He comes in
crying to his mother, They won't let
me play with them" There is no use
in sending him out again. He is
about urO0'f LET him
play. Try to arrange things so he
can find amusement in his own home.
with his own toys among his own in
terests. 1t is impossible to force chill
dren to play with him If they decide
not to and that is what they usually
decide. 1t will save lot Of trouble
to accept the decision Of the group
and keep the child away from them.
Whenever a child Is unpopular
among his companions look into these
two causes. Is he larger, brighter
and more able? Is he duller, slower,
less able? Then treat him accord
ingly. Many unpopular children will
fall into one or the other class.
Some children are unpopular be-
cause of their offensive manners.
That can be helped easily by teach
ing them to consider other chill
drens rights and feelings. When
they come in with complaint, listen,
and if you detect selfishness, donina-
ton, rudeness, say so and give him no
comfort. In that way he will learn
how to get along, but If you tell him
; that he is right and the others all
wrong, he will remain an outsider all
his days. Nobody will play With the
poor player and that is all there is
| to it.
| Copyright, 1881