The Washington times., 1935-12-21
NOW
Here's Hint for
Santa Claus
ABOUT TEXAS
BY HELEN ESSARY
Santa Claus is slipping!

pretty, with round, pink cheeks
blue eyes, long black or flaxer
curls and cupid bow mouths.
This years dolls are bad chill
dren who need spanking. Or ad
vertiSementS of infant movie stars
or of comic strip characters. They
have pug noses and scrawny legs
and sharp elbows. And they're
plain.
Dolls should be dolls. Not imi
tationS of natures mistakes. They
should have dimpleS in theil
knees. Eyes that roll, and blue
SaShes.
How could anybody believe In
Santa Claus since he's gone blase
and Freudian and realistic? Poor
old misguided Santa Claus.
He thinks it's smart to be so
phisticated. He's afraid some
body will think he's sentimental
Then there was that little boy
who, in repeating the Lords
Prayer, inadvertently said:
"FOrgive us our ChriStmaSeS"
The Bishop of Oklahoma, Right
Rev. Francis C. Kelley, was talk
ing about Texas on his recent
visit to Washington. He said:
Texas is where there are
more cows and less milk, more
rivers and less water and where
you can see further and see less
than in any State in the Union"
A Tight but Prominent Citizen
We know said the other night that
nowadays it is the women who
kiss and tell" When he was
young, a fellow who told of the
luck he had had with girls was
cad.
But, now" said the T. but P.
Citizen, passing over his high
ball to be freShened, "wOmen-
married and single-bOaSt Of
their cOnquests. And that isn't
all. They tell names and Occa-
sionS."
He said he didn't think modern
women were gentlemen"
Jumbino, one of DR.. Mann's ele-
plants at the Zoo, got bored last
week with Christmas in a North
Temperate Zone and playfully
yanked down all the heating pipes
that surround his pen.
hniT0n rnYNln rnH
and twined with barbed wire.
When last observed Jumbino was
carefully letting the pipes alone.
But he was reaching out an ad-
VenturouS trunk, wanging the side
doors of the elephant house, grasp
ing an edge of his cage and rat
ting it violently.
DR.. Mann thinks Jumbino got
0 palm treed Christmas Card from
the old home place in Central
Africa saying, 1--WE wish you were
here"
The sponsors of the Exhibit of
Modern Art, which begins in
Washington on January S, are
wondering if their telephone calls
will equal the 800 day of the
Van Gogh Exhibition which the
Museum of Modern Art is now
holding in New York. New York
inquirers have been reluctant to
say the name of the Dutch
painter. They phrase their ques
tions in such a way that the op
orator must pronounce Van
Gogh" for them.
Washington switchboard oper
ators are practicing the pronun
citation of Gauguin, Sezanne, Ma
tisse, Degas, Maillol, DeSpiau
Lachaise and Modigliani.
A Young Man Who Goes Every
Place says that Mrs. Frederick
H. Brooke, Mrs. Carroll Morgan
Mrs. Mckee Dunn, Mrs. Demarest
Lloyd and Mrs. Carroll Glover, jr.
are so popular with Washington'S
dancing men that they are prac
tically "the debutanteS' menace
:. In that swanky new White
House kitchen with its yards Of
stoves, there are only three small
tea kettles. 1t couldn't be thai
the White House is in continual
state of hot water. Evidently
brunettes never go to parties
they sit home by the fire anC
spin-because in the towns best
powder rooms are only platinum
blonde, golden and brown hail
pins. The Kenneth MurrayE
have one of those gay modernistiC
apartments you see with envy ir
the magazines.
Every few days during the las
month a lady from the telephone
company has called at our house
She has said she would like tt
examine the phones, please.
The family has been troubled
about this. There has seemed
nothing wrong with the phones
The answer to the mysterious
calls has just been found. Ever!
time a chief operator replies tt
q wrongly dialed number ant
says, What is your number
please?" she makes a black mari
against the family's intelligence
quota.
An inspector is soon set OF
the. trail of the more noticeabl!
feeble-minded. We now have fou
cards of directions printed il
big letters on "How to use ;
phone" The particular sugges
ton on "How to avoid dialin
the letter 'O' for the numera