The Waterbury Democrat., 1935-05-03
In New York
By PAUL HARRISON

New York.--Pet peeves: Tn tired of the Mdivanis--ail of them I'm fed up with stories about Lupe and Johnny knocking each
 others ears down in their latest love match For all care, Douglas Fairbanks can swing from British chandeliers for the remain.
 der of his career Junior, too. I don't think Jimmy Durante is very funny in his St vitus-like posturings spend scarcely any time these days wondering
 whether Mae West was married in 1911 Or whether Jimmy Walker ever will return to Amer
 ica Or whether Maxey the
 Baer will marry Mary Kirk Brown Or whether little Gloria Van
 derbilt will be returned to her mumsey.
 A little meditation. inspired by some bad coffee following a poor
 meal in 6 wel1-known restaurant. brings to mind quite a lot of
 other things don't like. And people. There's the night club singer who always says she doesn't
 want her picture taken. but who later edges her way around
 to the left of the group so she'll
 be mentioned first in the left-to- right captions in the newspapers ... There's the night-club round- CT who'll spend half of each even
 ing telling how little sleep he
 got the night before. Phoneys
 There's the man who disguises his voice when he answers the tele- phone-so callers will think he has a secretary. And the fellow who avows great adoration of his fam ily--but never takes any of its
 members out in public. The man
 who spoils other peoples stories by springing the punch-line prema-
 ture ;. Single-decker mentalities who pay no attention to what others are saying because they're busy thinking up what they'll say next People who insist that they go to Rcuben's and Lindy's and
 sardi's only because they like the food.
 Theaters are full of pests. The gushy lady who asks, after the
 first act. what you think of the play? But she doesn't ask after the third act, which is the only
 time anybody possibly could give
 an intelligent opinion !. People who say, loudly, "Oh. Tallulah
 never will forgive us if we don't go backstage to see her!" Actors who believe that acting is the complete antithesis of natural
 behavior, and so go around yowl- ing and grimacing Actresses who say moo" for mo-" fam fla" for family" "rally" for
 Really" and so on Cheques composed of friends of unimpor- tant performers. Lots of scenes
 are ruined by thunders of ap- plause when a maid or butler en- MystificatiOn
 Among my more personal ab- horrenses are people who order their secretaries to get me on the telephone, then force me to wait
 several minutes until they happen
 to feel like talking =. There still
 are a few surviving. nitwits who
 call up and say, Guess who this
 isl" And now and then meet someone who says. Hello, Paul: I'll bet you don't remember me-" They get kind of sadistic joy out
 of making people writhe in embar-
 rassment.
 For no particular reason I dis like all of the smooth young men who always want to check my hat and coat in the theater .. try, deliberately, to step on the toes of seated people who refuse to rise and let me pass to my chair Even after one reaches them, most theater seats are very try ing. Seventy-five-cent movie houses seem able to afford deep iy upholstered, properly tilted seats; but $3.30 legitimate thea ters provide the same broken spring perches that must have been torturing customers in the days of Mrs Leslie Carter and
 Richard Mansfield.
 Since the Kidnapping industry came under government control,
 press agents have been less brazen in their falsehoods about the
 threatening letters" received by their clients. But they still send out little items like this: "Tear of kldnapers has prompted George Whoozlt. the orchestra
 leader, Co spirit his two children
 away to . secret. secluded spot |. ."
 [ am tired Of press.asent fiction to the effect that this or that Broadway cutie has had her legs Insured tor half q million dollars. Dave ApoIloH, I've heen soIemnly informed, has taken out a eloe,' 900 policy on his Russian accent