Evening star., 1935-12-10

EAfL MISC OIA-4VAJ bAOAN4C
is a too Goting mother. am
81 years old, yet she holds
- me by the hand as If / were
a child of g. Never lets me out Of her
sight if she can help it. If I suggest
going any place she says: "Wait, Ill
90, too" If I have date, which is
seldom on account of her, I either
have to sit at home or tell her every
word that is said. She listens in on
every telephone call If get letter
she reads it. My girl friends have
dropped me because mother has to go
everywhere we go. Older persons say
how sweet we look together, but I'd
feel sweeter If she wasn't always along.
Can you think of any remedy for this
possessive mother love? I can't stand
much more of it.
A PROSECUTED GIRL.
Answer-The real remedy for your
situation is to leave home. That is
the only way by which you can keep
your mother from running your life,
because if you stay with her she will
DUN lOuL NNly 4lAC O4OO0 AlOlll JO0s"
She will ALLEVIATE you from your
friends, drive all men away from you
and you will end up by becoming one
of those desiccated, colorleSS old maids
who have no personality or existence
of their own. They are just mothers
shadow.
MOTHER love can be the greatest
A blessing in the world. or it can
be the greatest curse A mother can
! love her child unselhshly so that she
puts the child's good always before her
own. She can fit the child for life
by strengthening it so that it can
stand on its own feet and by fostering
a spirit of independence in it. She
can love her child so much that she
will sacrifice herself to it and send
it away from her when it Is for the
childs good, even though it tears her
heart out to part with it. That is the
kind of mother love that is the
greatest good fortune that any child
can have.
But there is the possessive mother
love that seeks only its own gratifl-
cation at whatever cost to the child.
Because it wants to be all in all to the
child it babies it and makes it weak
ling; it cuts the child off from all aSso-
citation with others; it deprives it of
all freedom and makes it dependent,
and ruthleSsly stands between it and
the natural desires Of youth, for such
mothers are never willing for their
children to leave them or to marry.
No greater misfortune than to have
possessive mother can befall any child.
X x
HOW any mother can be cruel
enough to let her selfish love ruin
her children's lives is almost beyond
comprehension. 1t is quite beyond
comprehension that any mother can
be stupid enough not to recognize that
when she makes her love a burden to
her children she is killing their affec-
ton for her. Yet that is what many
mothers do, and it answers the ques-
ton they are always asking: why are
my children so anxious to leave
home?" If they would be honest with
themselves they would know it is be-
cause the children recognize that
they are being smothered to death by
too much mother love and Vney are
trying to get away from it and save
/ themselves.
I For the fact remains that while a
child may fill a mothers life and sup
ply her whole interest in life, no
mother can fill the child's life or sup
ply its interest. The child wants the
companionship of those of its own
age. 1t wants to go places and do
/ things. 1t wants independence and
/ freedom and privacy And when a
mother denies her child this she in
evitably alienates it from her.
And this is something that every
mother should lay to heart. Too
much love is like too much candy, it
Sickens.
NEAR DOROTHY DIX: My hus-
band came home from ! buSi-
ness meeting with a smudge of pink
on his white shirt sleeve and collar
which. of course. suggests rouge or
lipstick to me. I pounced on him and
asked him if he had had his arms
around a girl and he said mo" and
was quite angry with me for thinking
such a thing, and sale he had no idea
/ how it got there. But cannot eat, or