Milford chronicle., 1935-10-25
INSPECTED so
BY Norman Huyett

Till we don't know where we are at
Everything's wrong; there's nothing
right.
The buckets diuged, the barns a
fright.
The milk house must be painted
white.
The toilet moved clear out of sight.
Yes, things have changed a lot you
know
Since we have got Inspected So.
They've spoiled the cows with all
this fuss
Till they're the boss instead of US.
Old Brindle used to behave good
And give US all the milk she could.
And if she switched us in the eye
Or maybe let her one foot fly,
Or course that was against the rule,
We damned her with the milking
stool.
All that has changed I'll have you
know
Since we have got Inspected So.
Now every time she gets a chance
She'll up and kick you in the pants
And knock your bucket Galley West
And kick the buttons OF your vest.
And if you start to make a fuss
Pick up your stool and start to cuss.
The minute you have turned your
back
She'll just give you another whack.
And say-"YOu hit me If you dare
II you as much as touch hair
You know full well what will do,
The milk men l will tell on you.
Now that is hard to take, vow,
on any OrneFy Kicking Cow;
But we have TO do it, don't you know
Since we have got Inspected So.
When we went out to milk, BY Jing
We used to sit on anything,
Or maybe didn't sit at all
But hanieFed down right in the stall
Now we must make a stool Of oak
Well you may laugh-it's not joke
And then we have to paint Il white
And put the thing to bed at night.
Dobbin's mad enough to take a fit
And don't blame him not a bit.
It surely is a dirty trick
wouldn't blame him If he'd kick.
He works and sweats the summer
through
To raise his grub and Brindle's too,
And even hauls it in the NOW.
But they have figured out somehow.
That in the barn he has no right
That we must build partitions tight
Between the two so day or night
That Brindle viii be out Of sight.
No Sir, he mustn't even take a peep
At Brindle while she is asleep.
Yes they have figured out somehow
He's no III companion for a COW.
Now that's enough to make him rair
And kick and bite and cuss and
swear.
But he has to take it. don't you know,
Since we have got Inspected So.
I'll tell you another thing they say
We don't believe It, by the way:
Dur milk is full of bugs. By Jing.
Did you ever hear of such a thing?
Yes. Sir. hundreds Of thousands in
one can
to carry of a man.
It's enough to give us all a fit.
It's awful when you thing Of it.
We've ate these bugs beyond a doubt
And never even found it out.
Just think on them how Johnny
grew.
Grandpa kept hearty on them too.
But granted that we did survive
This mess of bugs, we're still alive. !
It is, my friends. a mystery
We're not as buggy as can be.
When ignorance is Bliss they say,
IT'S folly to be wise anyway.
What you don't know does not hurt
you
as much as what you do.
We ate and drank these bugs galore
And even thrived on them before
But they may be much worse, you
know,
Since we have got Inspected So.
Some day. they say the worm will
turn,
I'm sure we all Tor this time yearn.
When we again can sit, By Jing,
On what we please-just anything.
Yes, when we can sit and milk in
ease
And lam Old Brindle all we please;
When we can do things as before
We did. them in the days Of yore.
When these milk men viii go so dry !
For milk that they will nearly die;
When we can tell them where to
go
rhe way we used to do. You know.
The way we used to do, you know.
Before we got Inspected So.
When someone else will get some /
Besides us POOr Old Country Hicks.