Evening star., 1935-12-15

the New Deal has bought up all the
houses, mansions, apartments and
hotels"
"On to Tpgwelltown."
"Oh, place is ready for u.s. re-
sponded a t2ouper.
Its only a shanty in old TugwelltoWn,
A satellite city that's won great
renown;
What a circus theren be
When we put G. o. P.
In a shanty in old Tugwelltown"
That's the slogan for l936-"On to
Tugwelltown," shouted Hoover.
Yes, but we still have to find star
for the lead role" objected Moses.
"All Republicans are seeing stars"
said a trouper. Just look at 'em!"
To the tune of Comm Round the
Mountain" he sang Justify, supported
by the chorus:
Wen be coming down the mountain
when we come,
We will have a man of fame, though
we do not know his name,
When we come.
Will 1t be with Herbert Hoover when
we come?
With the sage of California with
solemn voice to warn ya?"
At mention of his name Hoover re-
appeared to stand hand in coat front,
solemnly eyeing the audience.
"Will 1t be with old Bill Borah,
Will he join our happy band with the
Townsend plan in hand?"
A second figure, an exact duplicate
of Hoover in dress and manner,
stepped out.
"Will it be with Gov. Landon,
Will we find our chances best
With the Coolidge of the West?"
And Still They Come.
A third Hoover" joined the lin.
"Will 1t be with Col. Knox?
Will we set the New Deal rankli:--'
If we run another Franklin"
A fourth Hoover appeared.
"Will it be with Vandenberg?
When the people want to know
He'll reply both yes and no.
Out popped a fifth Hoover.
will it be with some one else?
Will we find some stronger forces
In the pasture of dark horses?"
A sixth Hoover lined up, all alike as
six peas in a pod
To solve this riddle of SO G. o. p.
leadership identities, the trouper ex-
planned:
1T will not make any difference when
we come,
When they're in the g. o. p,
They all look alike to me-"
The Gold Cemetery.
When the show got around to the
New Deal gold policy. suggestion Of
a Kentucky fort guarding piled bags
of sequested gold appeared on the
stage, the light dimming to shud-
derry, greenish moon glow as uni
formed Army sentries moved on to
take their posts.
Use skeered," said the man placed
on sentry-go, his eyes rowing over
first one shoulder then the other. Il
don't like this job Of being sentry in
a cemetery"
Cemetery" said the sergeant. why
this is where the Governments gold
is all stored"
Oats what I said" insisted the
sentry. "Just buryin' ground: Sacred
to de memory Of sound money!!
Lots of people believe in devalua-
tion," the sergeant argued.
Lots O. people goin' to vote dat
way, too, next year." the sentry an
swered. "Devaluation-and how-and
who!"
Lots of people believe in q 5s.os
dollar" said the sergeant.
"Yeh, an lots O. people goin' vote
against a 59.o6 po'k chop" added the
sentry.
Morgenthau Brings Gold.
Here comes Secretary Morgenthau
with some more gold"
The Secretary, high hat and all,
strobe in to drop another clinking bag
full on the gold heap.
There's another two billion" he
said.
Whats the total amount OF gold
here, Mr.. Secretary" asked
Nine billions said Morgenthau
proudly. Mine billions"
Oats q powerful lot," said the
sentry, edging up to the secretary in
gratiatingly. "Mistah, could you
spare jes' a Ill OF thin dime dat q
man could use, suh?"
whats q thin dime to q country
with nine billions In gold?" scoffed
the Secretary.
Whats nine billion in gold to a
country without O thin dime, dat's
what wants to knew?" said the
sentry.
News Reel Shown.
A news reel arranged by the club
proved to be prevue of the presi-
Dental Inauguration, January 20,
1887, History Shivering," at the first
midwinter inaugural. It included the
inaugural address Of President Nor
man Thomas, elected on Socialist
ticket and q platform promising to
end communism In Washington, put
Wall Street back in the saddle; two
potted chickens in every garage, more
abundant holding companies and a
more abandoned life"
But President Thomas" strangely
enough, started his inaugural In the
accents Of President Franklin D.
Roosevelt, switched to the tones Of Al
Smith, switched again to Herbert
Hooyers clearly recognizable voice and
wound up as Ed Wynn. the comedian.
To cap it, Andrew Mellon, former
treasury head, came on the screen to
appear to be singing In celebration Of
the Thomas election, Happy Days
Are Here Again"
Secretaries Portrayed.
Those White House secretaries,
Steve Early and Marvin Mcintyre, saw
themselves portrayed in q snappy dia-
logue about where was the secretary
at" on certain well remembered news
occasions. A moment later Attorney
General Cummings and Secretary
Roper heard themselves singing q
duet dedicated to Gen. johnson, with
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