Evening star., 1935-05-16

the grit and determination TO 20
through what she did, for she had
to cruelty her own vanity and lit
orally make herself over.
Can you do this? Have you even
the ability to do this? If God didn't
give you an exceptional brain, II He
DIDN'T give you a love Of intellectual
things for their own sake, II He didn't
give you a ready tongue, you can't
turn yourself into a highbrow, or a
spellbinder, no matter how hard you
try.
IF YOU have the social gift you can
develop it, but you can't originate
it, and think you will be a lot hap
pier married to a man IN your own
station of life and with your own
mental equipment, who thinks you
are about all right as you are, instead
of with one who is trying to turn you
into something you are not and were
never intended to be.
Nor do I think that the man will
be happy If he marries you, demand
ing. as he does, a wife who will be
shining figure in society and reflect
distinction upon him. No matter
what you do you will never come up
to his expectations. He will always be
correcting you. He will always be
critic. And that attitude on a hus-
bands part does not make for hap
piness in the home. Far. far better
for you both to marry in your own
class. DOROTHY DIX.
x X
DEAR MISS DIX-I have a nice.
~ capable wife and we get along
better than the average. Our only
trouble is over our children, aged
and 8, who have to be occasionally
punished when they are naughty.
When their mother does this I never
interfere, but when I punish them
they rush to her and she clasps them
to her breast and cuddles them and
tells them how brainless and cruel
hearted and mean Daddy is. This cuts
me to the bone. as I love my children
and want their affection and feel that
1t is most unjust of their mother to
plant such thoughts In their minds.
Is there anything can do about it?
F.
Answer-Very little, unless YOU
wife has enough intelligence to be
brought to see the error of her ways
and realize that not only is she hurt
ing you, but she is doing the chill
dren an irreparable wrong. And it is
a pretty hopeless thing to try to gel
mother to use her brains instead OF
her heart where her children are con-
cerned.
WHY women who have plenty Of
sense and good Judgment about
other matters use none at all of either
in dealing with their children is a
mystery that nobody can explain. 1t
just is. The stupidest woman in the
world can see that any business would
be bound to go to smash if the two
partners pulled different ways, if one
undermined the authority Of the other
all the time, If one deliberately preju-
diced the employees against the other
and countermanded the others orders
She would know that no firm pros
pers in which there is not teamwork.
but even a smart woman will not
recognize that the same principles ap-
ply to running home and rearing
children. She will thwart her hus-
bands discipline at every turn. She
will make his punishments Of no
avail by pitying and petting the cul-'
prit who has got his Just deserts. She
will teach the child that its father
is cruel and unjust and a tyrant to
be feared and outwitted, rather than
a father to be loved and respected.
MANY a girl goes wrong because
4A mother helped her to sneak out
the hack door to go to some place that
father has forbidden. And many a
boy grows up into a bar-room loafer
because mother pinches the market
money to give him the money father
has denied him. Mother undermines
fathers authority and kills their chill
dren's love and their reverence for
him, then when the time comes when
they need a mans strong hand to
hold them steady she wonders why
he has no influence over the children.
DOROTHY DIX.