Milford chronicle., 1935-11-29

body?
Nevertheless 1t is
fitting that on his irwin 5. Coon'
birthday this coun-
try should launch this memorial,
For to help perpetuate the bright
glory Of that name is an obligation
we owe to ourselves testimony
Of gratitude for a man amongst
US who poured out so freely the
precious gifts of sanity and sweet
ness, generosity and gallantry, q
philosophy that was kindly. a wit
that was salty but never was sour.
You gave US so much, Bill. we're
Just figuring on paying a little some
thing back on account
Signs of Normally.
WYE MUST be headed for nor
w malcy. I'm back on some
body's sucker list. AS a charter
member of the original mother
lodge, l belong there. I'm a boob
Ben Adhem whose name led all
the rest.
To-day received, not a list OF Sc
lected foreign bonds-that'n come
later-but a prospectus about a
gorgeous gold mining proposition
with all the regular by-produets
guaranteed. such as quicksilver,
lead, copper. mothballs and, think,
amaigam filings
Sorry / can't invest in this new
bonanza. But I'm saving up to 90
into an equally timely enterprise.
It's a buggy-whlp factory, and on
the side we're going to turn out
filintlock muskets for the United
States army.
Selecting a Candidate.
I'VE found out who the forgotten
man Is. It's any Republican Of
fceholder above the grade Of assist
ant state geOlOgist who hasn't been
proposed by self or friends for next
years Presidential nomination.
On every side. dislnterested pa
triOts feverishly suggest some
deathless name that nobody out
side the immediate family ever
heard OF and. 10, a national figure
whose fame doesn't cover as much
territory as a milk route is In the
running. Almost anybody who can
read and write appears to be eligi-
bic. especially If be Autographs
well.
The concern is for a candidate
only. When It comes to a platform.
the Democrats can lend them one
which has been used hardly any, II
at all.
Return to Prohibition.
A LII else aside, some Of US con-
"A tend there were two main un-
derlying reasons why this country
went "dry" the way it did go. One
reason was brewers. The other was
distlllers.
If a person of dubious repute
opened a saloon in a neighborhood
already over-provided, where, In or
der to live, he must break the liq-
uOr laws, there was, too often.
type of brewer ready to put up for
the license and a type Of distiller
to help out with the rest
Basically, it was the inarticulate
Of orderly people
against such practices which
plunged US into the CHASTITY leglsla-
tive error miscalled prohibition.
Now, with that mistake so nearly
cured, one hears 1t directly charged
that certain producers Of alcoholic
drinks are greedily back at the
same old tricks.
You can tell a lunk-headed profit
eer as far as you can see-but you
can't tell him anything else.
Upholding the constitution.
90 HEATED is the controversy
- ever the imperiled Constitution
that professional politicians are ali
agog, many going out of one severe
COG right into another, accompanied
by chills. fever and high blood pres
sure.
Everywhere you look, you see dis
putants. all lathered up with ex-
citement, who wouldn't recognise
that immortal document II they ran
into It sitting in the middle Of the
big road, laying eggs.
! am Offering suitable Prize
namely. Grimm's Fairy Tales 10
words Of one syllablo--to the ast
national committeeman, Democra.
tic or Republican, who can tell or.
hand whether the Constitution
starts on. when 10 the course of
human eyenis." or, NOW IS the
time Tor an good men to come 60
the aid Of the party"
iRviN 9. coep