Evening star., 1935-12-14

in setting up gentleness as real thing
In the private life.
True courtesy, of course, is quite
democratic, in the real and best sense.
A spurious politeness which removes
the hat only to women Of influence
and stands aside at the door only for
men who may be able to help you is not
courtesy at all. There is name for it,
too, but the good name of courtesy does
not belong to it. True, 1t borrows the
clothing and masquerades for it effec-
lively, in some cases, but the astute are
never taken in by it at all.
The effects on the private life con-
centrate in building up of the centers
of kindness. All one has to do is to
think of the rancor and i'll will which
besets the world to realize the supreme
necessity for kindness. One cannot stress
1t too much. There will always be this
fight, just as 1t has existed since life
became conscious of itself. Even uncon-
scious life, as manifested in the brute
creatures, knows kindness and gentIeness
in a surprisingly large number Of in
stances. Many an animal will shame
many human being when it comes to
this sort of "politeness," so we need not
assume at all that the fine flower of
courtesy is left to man. Old dogs can
be more chivalrous-often are-than
some men.
The effect of kindness and considera-
ton, in manners and address, on others
is what really counts.
If we could think very hard for many
years, in an endeavor to devise a good
way to help other human beings, we
ordinarily could think up nothing quite
so good as courteous, cultured cultivated
manners.
These have been worked out, fortu-
nately, by so many ages of human beings
that there is not the slightest bit of
mystery about them.
What is the use, then, for any person
of average mentality to pretend that
the ordinary forms of politeness are
mildly absurd?
They are the best practical means we
have of Incorporating decent gentleness
into everyday life without fubdub or
mock heroiSm.
One may be polite without calling any
particular attention to himself, except
from the discriminating. This is also
pleasant, in times when to call atten-
ton to the self sometimes results in un-
pleasantneSs of kinds not known in
former ages.
The plain help that is given another,
even by the most simple everyday cour-
tesy, such as standing aside to let him
or her enter door or elevator first,
is Of sort not usually noticed, perhaps.
But just as the entrance of a germ is
not noted at the time, so the precious
microbes of courtesy enter into hearts
and minds unaware. They do their
work there and it is good work. 1t
means that the first wish of human ma
ture, for attention, has been complied
with, has been satisfied, though in little.
The regard which every person alive
thinks ought to be his is his, for brief
moment, at any rate. This satisfies the
spirit of man, his pride, or whatever
one wants to call it. 1t is legitimate
satisfaction. A little attention is a good
thing, and if more courtesy were found
in all walks of life, the personal esteem
OF more people would be cherished, with
resulting waves of good will spread far
and wide. The good which courtesy
does in the day-by-day life lives after
it; it may be so simple that it is scarcely
noticed, but its effect is large and lasting.
There Is nothing more useful in a busy
life than courtesy. The only people who
have no time for politeness are the in
herently lazy, just as the only person
who hasn't time for something else is
the person who is doing nothing to begin
with.