The Washington times., 1935-02-21
NOW
The Shorts Fad
On the Farm
POESY LOSES
BY HELEN EsSARY

hogs shorts" A Gifted Girl
in charge of a Georgia Farm
Relief Bureau was asked by a
farmer for shorts for my
hogs!"
The Gifted Girl shifted:
els that so! Today it's
SHORTS for your hogs. TOmOr-
row, 1 s'pose, you'll be coming
around begging for STEP-INS
for your cOwS!"
Laura volstead Loman, now
visiting Washington, remembers
the trip to Panama when
Panamanians whispered as her
father passed:
"VOIstead, vOlstead. Make
U. S. bone dry"
Query-did Mr.. Volstead make
It dry?
Laura's husband, Carl Loman,
also visiting here now, directs
the reindeer industry in Alaska.
He's Santa Claus first cousin.
When we were very young
about five-we wanted to be a
poet. We wrote a tender poem.
The first two lines were: when
the wind blew, the people flew"
We showed our poem to our
literary uncle. He said it was
trash. We must promise never
to write a poem again.
Our uncle mentioned this
matter the other day. He felt
proud of his own stand. He
said, not only did he save us
from a fallacy-people do not
fly when the wind blows (wiJ-
ness the aircraft disasters)--
but he saved us from pursuing
o pathetic career and ending
at the age Of SO as a fifth-rate
poetess.
We have never known
whether to be glad or sorry for
our uncle's advice.
The American Association of
University Women says we
should be sorry. That middle
aged cynicS should not be al
lowed to laugh at youthful
rhapsodies, accurate or mac
curate.
To prove its insincerity in
encouraging the poisoning Of
genius, the association is spon-
Soring a prize competition for
the best poem submitted by a
college student living in Wash
ington.
Which reminds us that Mrs.
Dorothy DeMuth Watson, pa
tron saint Of the Torch Club
of the Wilson Teachers Col
lege, encourages the young to
be literary in a manner that
inspired Mr.. Wladyslaw So
kolowski, counselor Of the Pol
iSh Embassy, to say after a
Torch Club banquet that here
was the most interesting party
he had been to in America.
Town Talk:
Mrs. Paul Lesch. on visit from
Junior League, Indianapolis,
says Will Rogers made speech
there for crippled children bene-
fit. Then he returned to charity
price of fee, plus large donation
from his own pocket. Young
hostess shows Old Timer list of
dinner guests. Old Timer cries:
What! Six lions at one dinner!
Every Washington lion must
have private audience to listen
to roars! Oh! Horrible! Old
Timer faintS. s.s
Katherine Lenroot, head of
Children's Bureau, receives re"
quest from anguished mother for
advice on control of children at
birthday parties when dry.ice-
cream won't melt. Children's
Bureau refers request to Animal
and Plant Industry. A. and P.
Industry refers request to Ma
tional Geological Park. Zoologi.
cal Park says dry-ice-cream in
vented by German scientist.
Refers request to State Depart
ment. Chief of State Depart
ment says: Put ice-cream on
radiator. Very sound, we think.
More talk:
Mrs. Mary Breckenridge, Of
the Frontier Nursing Service,
wants bushels Of old Sunday
newspapers to paper m III d.
chinked cabins of mountaineerS.
Says papers keep out heat and
cold and are agreeable for idle
reading. Mrs. Claude swanson,
wife of Secretary of Navy, is
beaten-biscuit expert.
Mrs. Jacob Leander Loose,
when told to drive to left by
large naval gentleman directing
Cabinet-atHome Traffic, says:
you've evidently stayed too
long in British territory. In this
country We drive to the right"
And then she did. Query: Why
are all concerts in Constitution
Hall given in glare of full, hard
light? Is not music Sweeter in
dim light? We think so. .Sena.
tor and Mrs. Burton K. Wheeler.
of Montana, have a fine collec.
ton Of paintings discovered in
Europe in 1923. Mrs. Wheeler
almost prefers painting to the
1no noINin in C1ooiav No4;a,~o1