The Waterbury Democrat., 1935-02-18
In New York
BY PAUL HARRISON

NeW OFk-GVery year about this time your correspondent Iopcs up to Madsion Square Garden to see the Westminster dog show, and comes away feeling pretty de- pressed about the whole business.
 It is 2 selfish sort of melancho- lia, mostly, because want to own a dog but would be unable to keep one of any respectful dimensions in our town apartment, With tne exception of few penthouse tcr- races and even fewer back yall:s all Manhattan Island is Deyils s Island for dogs. For them t.e marble palaces of Park Avei.ne are no more desirable than | .e redolent tenements of the To ..er 1 east side. Leashes, muZzlcs. r;G- grant germs of distemper, exhaust fumes. brick and stone, traffic and it's constant din - these make d dogs life.
 1 At the Westminster show, 2S37 assorted dogs were benched which means caged and chained -in the huge, one-room basemeni of the garden You can imagine the sound effects-from the bay. ing of the biggest breeds down through the savage swearing of the Boxers to the jlttery, inces- sant yapping of the wires. l cart imagine how dog with any sense to begin with, or a human attend ant, either. ever could be the same after three days of such bedlam. l Bloodshot eyes and untouched food tell the story of the ordeai. You have to be pretty sure Of yourself if you care to disregard the :SIo Handling" signs and reach into a cage to scratch an l inmates ears. Happily there are q few breeds-such at St. Bernards, bulls, and the genteel Dachshunds J-that just don't give a whoop about their hysterical neighbors.
 The show-rings of dog carnival reveal some very silly and undigni- fled goings-on. You would think that the pooches might be, trotted before the judges, allowed to as- sume normal stance, and trotted from the handlers. <. ~
 That isn't the way it works out, However. A professional dog handler or maybe an anxious dowager, dressed fit-to-kill--tows his or her dogs into the ring and then gets down on all fours to a prop and yank 1t into a pose that is supposed to be imposing.
 Start with the tail. Roll 1t be- tween the hands; draw it between the fingers. Excellent! It stands out straight and proud. =. Now the hind legs. As straight as pos- sible, the left one a little to the fore . That disgraceful sag ging middle! Push it up quickly +. .. The front legs, fair. :. But that dropping head! Make that funny chucking noise that ale ways makes him cock his head in an alert and curious fashion.
 Here comes the judges. Spread those hind legs trifle. Now a touch with the comb < smooth down the back; brush the belly the wrong way. .. Perfect. if | the judges would only hurry. E.. Keep on making those cluck- ing noises, and, scratch the pup under the chin :. Alta boy! |. oh, Lord. that tail! It has wilted like a wet plume. ~. Tank it out straight again; pull those hind legs apart; hoist him in the The judges are looking at you, boy; they're jotting down notes about you: they're-Oh, you un- grateful hound! You .,dispicable dog! You misanthropic mongrel! You have collapsed in front. You are standing cross-legged and are leering at the judges. How do you expect ever to win blue ribbon? Or don't you care?
 | No, you don't care. And frank ly, pup, I don't blame you. These evening-tailed judges aren't likez Ily to throw .bcll that you raS chase. Or to give you bone that you can buiTy. or to ass g.' Iyou as the guardian of some youngster who'll pull your tail and feed you the leavings of ice cream cones and sneak you off 10 bed with him.
 I No blue ribbon to make you King of the kennel! You'll go back to your cage and they'll put a "For Sale" sign oh the front of it., and you'll be bought by some family from Westchester or Dal- Has or Topeka. Lucky dog!
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