The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1935-11-30
Squaring
The Circle
With
McCREADY HUSTON
AIcCREADY HUSTON

ID GENTLY it has been my good
~ fortune to behold a rug in the
process OF being laid in the Office of
a certain factotum. had forgotten
that the art Of rug laying required
so many didoes. I go back to the
days when one simply picked out a
9X12 and that was the end of it,
Now it seems that to get the proper
rug under the feet of a tycoon de-
mands skilled mechanics and an
architect. Before they got through
I was looking for a field surveyor
with boy carrying the ak and
stakes.
But what I started to say was that
certain prominent Federal officer,
one of the New Dealers, located in
indianapolis, recently required a rug
befitting his high station
= Whereupon one of his mynidons
sent requisition to Washington
and in due course it was honored by
the chief of the rug-buying division
After an intermidable wait, whilst
the official had to endure a bare
floor-With which, perhaps, he was
not entirely unfamiliar-the rug
arrived. 1t arrived in pieces, in IA
mail sacks, each weighing not more
than the postal laws allow, which I
understand is so pounds.
Here were number Of strips of
rug which had to be sewn together
The next thing was to put through
requisition for an FERA worker,
skilled in the mystery of rug sewing.
In two weeks one was found. The
pieces were fastened together and
the important government official is
now treading a covering commensu-
rate with his dignity,
JUST why the government could
~ not have telephoned downtown
to one of the qualified rug mer-
chants and had the job done in an
hour is oen of those secrets which
will be revealed only by historians
of this cock-eyed age.
Rugs make me think of the test
for compatibility betwiXt husband
and wife propounded by an old
indianapolis friend. If the twain
can set up a bedstead without COM
ing to blows they are happily
married. In the times that I have
moved I have found it prudent to
place in the contract a clause re-
quiring the moving men to set up
the beds.
a MOTHER thing about rugs
4 - which has a bearing on fe-
licity is the Discrimination of the
normal woman to permit her hus-
band to lie on the couch and drop
his ashes on the floor. The Wives
Protective Association should bear
in mind that the privilege Of lying
on the davenport, after a hard days
work, letting the ashes fall where
they may, is almost the chief boon
for dutiful husbands. The only
compromise is an ash tray placed
on the floor, but that is a small
target and not to be considered by
men who have weighty problems to
solve.
Of course, the whole problem can
be solved by using scatter rugs, with
nice little Islands of maple here and
there. For the ashes won't hurt the
maple and can be whisked under
the couch in jiffy when un-
expected callers arrive.
r
WE see by the papers that the
W first test of the National
Labor Relations Board is to be
made right here on the good old
Koosier sod. At South Bend, to be
accurate. The employer involved is
Vincent BendiX Mr. Bendix is an
amiable man who from time to time
gives parties at his home with va
riCuS celebrities as his guests. Once
he had Gilbert K. Chesterton and
Jimmy Walker under the same roof.
An unregenerate newspaper man
who was there was told that a GER
tain beauty was a paid entertainer
and slapped her on the back, re-
questing a dance. 1t was only Irene
Castle.
One Of my friends turned up at
the Office after Thanksgiving all
dressed up in his best clothes. The
explanation was simple. The
morning after holiday the natural
thing for a man to do is to reach
for the nearest clothes, which usual
ly are the ones he tossed off the
night before. Then there is the
thrifty fashion of wanting to get