Worcester Democrat and the ledger-enterprise. (Pocomoke City, Md.) 1921-1953, 1935-05-17
"Chiirps'' ~
from the
Democrats Pen

DID any OF you PeoPie S'oA uAS
about finding money all over the
ground, where it seemed to have drop
ped like ripe fruit from the tree?
Do you remember how you couldn't
grab it up fast enough? How it
would fall out of your hands as you
filled and re-filled them? Oh! Boy,
but that was grand and glorious feel
ing, until you woke up and found the
night only half gone, and day was
coming when you had to study mighty
hard how to make both ends meet.
Well, I have had that same dream,
and now it's going to become a reality.
You see, I received a nice letter the
other day from a good friend of mine
who said he wanted to see prosperity
come to me, and all I had to do was
to write five letter similar to the one
he sent me, post 'em out to my
friends, send ten cents to the name at
the top of his letter, then leave it, off,
and I would get lot of money.
Well, done it. And I am now
making arrangements to retire from
business when the dimes come roll
ing in. have already engaged a Sec
rotary to take care of the mail as it
swoops down upon me, and have bor-
rowed from the banks all the canvas
money bags they can spare, when de-
post day rolls around.
Somebody said this chain stuff was
a violation of the postal laws, and if
you didn't watch out, Uncle Sam
would git We, slap fine on your back,
and maybe give you free lunches at
Sing Sing, Atlanta or some other sea-
port.
That wouldn't make much differ
ence. I'd stay there about one-six-
teenth Of the time, get paroled, come
out, and then enjoy all that prosperity
that came through the violation, pro-
vided I had some place to cache it
while I was wearing stripes Bort
make much difference, these days,
about conviction, unless it's loaf of
bread you are sent up for. That's a
horrible crime; that's base stealing.
If you cop a million, that embezzle-
ment, and when you change prison
garb for civilian clothes, you are a
real civilian, I'll tell the world. So
let the dimes roll in.
How-some-ever, if nothing begins
to pop soon, the next one Of those let
tiers I get, instead of sending ten
cents to the guy at the top, I'm going
to get gun and blow his d head
off. You know the possibility of this
thing being non-productive is enough
to make anybody cuss.
But the craze has struck the country
harder than the crossword puzzle did.
And, amt it funny how any get-rich-
quick proposition-any something for
nothing gag will get 'em, going and
coming? I think I'll get about 100,-
900 of those letters printed, put my
name at the top and ask the country
to send me ten cents that would bring
me in enough to buy coal for the win
ter; that is, if the coal man don't raise
the price on me.
Just think of it, man down in
Austin, Texas, professed to be my
friend, and wanted prosperity to come
to me in the shape of fifteen hundred
dollars-all for ten cents. didn't
know him from Adam, and where he
raked up my name, I don't know. I
must be more widely known than I
ever dreamed of. That was the Sec
ond one I received, but I saw pros
perity enough in the first one and
passed this one up. If any of you
people want to take my place on that
road to prosperity, you can have it,
and I'll send you the address.
Well, I haven't heard of anybody
round here shovellling up ten cent
pieces yet and I am afraid local names
have had hard Shedding to get to the
top-the place where the filthy lucre
rolls in. But I'll feel like kickin' my
self all over the lot if somebody does
coch IN