Askov American. [volume] (Askov, Pine County, Minn.) 1914-current, 1935-01-31

uote0ex. S00 encouraged tne CUltUIe0
young Aristocrat from Sycamore to
go ahead and blate about Himself for
Hours at Time and when she learned
that he had been Manager Of the
ilee Club she got all worked up and
said he must have got many . Thrill
out Of the Job.
She asked him where he had his
Hair Cut, and II that was q Real
Pearl In his Stick-Pin. and did they
have Movies In Sycamore and had
he ever thought Of going on the Stage
and II 50. Why7 1t didn't take Herm
long to size her up as Cute but Shallow
Beautiful but Dumb. He never read
any Of the Letters she wrote back to
Madge and Ethel and Lora. telling
about the Goofie she had been string.
ing. 1t is very difficult for an Intel
lectual Giant to realize that he Is be-
ing jOshed by some Baby-Face whose
Brain seems to be absolutely at Rest.
In every Large City on the Other
Side the educated GREENE went into
Shops and permitted hypnotic Sales
Girls to load him up with Junk he
didn't need and didn't want. And yet,
1t seemed to him. all of the time. that
they were a lot of deferring Menials
who simply wanted to learn his Royal
Pleasure.
Becoming a Trained Seal.
He came back Home with q busted
Letter of Credit but the Complex of
Superiority was working overtime He
still suspected that the Creator had
put aside all other Engagements and
devoted a Week to working out the
Plans and Specifications for Herman
Wyckoff Tetley Bingham. 20. It's GER
tainly great If you can feel that Way.
1t helps one to get through many a
Rainy Afternoon-you know. just get
in front of a Mirror and wallow in
your own Personality.
It was about Christmas Time, 1923,
that the handsome Young Gentleman
with the best Speaking Voice ever
heard at his Alma Mater, first met the
Grass Widow known as Geraldine.
When Herman got a Flash at the
vivacious Shoulder Blades and the
carefully-blended Complexion and the
Third Act Costume, he should have
crossed his Fingers and run Two
Miles in the Opposite Direction. but he
was rather Intrigued, II the Reader
will permit Us to get away with that
Word He felt that Geraldine might
prove to be an Interesting Study. She
turned out to be Nothing Else But.
Never having attended Bingham Col.
lege she had to rely on some Practical
knowledge she had picked up on the
Side. She sized up the cocky valedic.
torian and speared him as If he had
been a Fish. She took the proud
Patrician and made him a Trained
Seal.
Long after, when the Lawyer showed
him the Letters which had been pur-
chased for $4,000 and asked him
where he got such words as "Babyola."
"Snoopkins." and "Honey- Bunch" he
said he sent her the notes to keep her
from dying Of Broken Heart or COM
hitting Suicide, as per Threat.
It required the Services of all the
high-priced Attorneys in Sycamore to
sidetrack the Breach Of Promise Suit.
The Fact that the expensive Detec.
tivess from the City dug up on Geral
dine almost enough to send her to the
Chair. did not alter the Fact that an
old respected Family. such as the
Tetleys, dating away back to the
Time Of the Spanish American War.
could not afford to be involved in an
unsavory Scandal.
The local Bank received q Crimp
from which 1t will not recover for
many Moon. Geraldine started for
Atlantic City to work at her Trade.
Herman kept under Cover for Weeks.
Most Of the time he was in his Room,
reading. over and over again, his Mas
terpiece entitled. Certain Phases of
Feminism." When he came to that
Part about Woman being the Weaker
Vessel and condemned by the Inn
mutable Laws of Creation to remain
such. he would tear out another
Handful of Hair and carefully deposit
II on the Table.
MORAL: An Grafton will do no
Harm unless prepared and delivered