The Waterbury Democrat., 1935-09-09
In New York
BY PAUL HARRISON

correspondent Is growing very weary of the marital misadven- lures of Tommy Manville, whose heart again is blazing inside his | asbestos fortune I'm tired of Mae West stories. And Peggy Joyce stories. And dental statistics on the falling-out of Shirley, Tenn ple's teeth.
 Papa and Mamma BaeI's repeti- tious avowals of true love are not going to keep me awake nights. My disinterest in the threats of Jimmy Walker to return to New York Is exceeded only by my lack of concern over the future of the younger Douglas Fairbanks. 7. I'm fed up with the protesta- tions of Gloria Vanderbilt and Lady Furness that they don't want publicity.
 Somehow I don't feel like help ing to enlist public sympathy for the carefully attested Illnesses" of certain prominent lady dipso- maniacs .. /. don't think Ed die Cantor is at all funny on the air. And I wonder how long some of the leading comedians would live if they had to write their own stuff don't think Jimmy Durante is funny anywhere |. And am made restless by some of the labored pomposities of Low ell Thomas.
 Just Minute!
 This can go on and on: There are landlubbers who brag about their seaworthiness And hack writers who go literary by letting their hair grow, over their ears Women who take a cigaret out of a fresh pack and tap the end on table 37 times. . Pic lures of movie actresses going dO- mestic in their kitchens, beaming proudly over dishes just brought in from a caterers.
 I dislike electric clocks in the same way that abhor people who are right all the time and let you know it. Electric clocks are sym- bols of stern rectitude and oppres- sive integrity. just another me- chanized factor in a machined ex- istence that already is too darned closely scheduled and specifically ordained. Besides, they spoil my alibis.
 Ho, Hum! .. .. ...'
 I don't admire Jack Dempsey's penchant for giving sissy imita- tions Or Harry Richman's lisp Or the strangled artic- ulations of Joe Penner Rudy Vallee will leave me just as happy if he never makes another speech {. .. Rubinoff's fiddle should do all his talking, too Elsa Max wells social whimseys are besin- ming to pail. :. And 1t will be all right with me if Joan Lowell doesn't go to sea again.
 should like to know who's re- sponsible for the inanities of com edy shorts, why they're so devoid of point and plot, and who laughs at them T am alarmed by the proselyting of diet faddists. all of whom seem to want me to suffer with them =. wonder why so many chauffeurs of private cars are so insolent .. . Why Broadwaymen wear yellow ties with navy blue shirts And why so much attention Is given the luxury vacations of profession al explorers. Consider the cur rent excursion. of MT. and Mrs. William LaVarre, bound for a lost land" in Brazil where dia- monds wash along the stream banks. Every jewel man knows of the. existence of those stones and their worthlessness.
 Stop Elm
 The theater always provides an extensive assortment of pet peeves. One is the time-beater at musical shows. With folded program, or cane, he audibly taps the rhythm and beginning with each second chorus is ready to try humming the tunes The chronic sniffer Is a worse pest than the explosive tougher Then there's the candy eater and papercrinkler; al- so the program tearer-upper .4. A rarer menace is the amateur critic enlightening friends. Tn scornful sibilances he calls atten- ton to each fault of the show, and what should have been done about 1t.
 More aversions: Nut-wits who insist they invented the crack about an actress running the ga- nut of emotions from A to B. E. Rover Boy dentists Peo- pie who protest having their pie lures taken--then dash for the position so they'll be mentioned first in the left-to-right captions. :. People who ask to have their pictures taken, then howl that they've been libeied by the cam era-rwhich doesn't He.