The Wrangell sentinel., 1935-09-27
Anchorage Man Tells Why He Hasn't
Been and Isn't Going Duck Hunting

Clyde Ellis, Anchorage attorney
and prominent for years in Ameri-
can Legion activities in Alaska, re-
Gently wrote in amusing fashion his
viewpoint on duck hunting to the
Anchorage Times. The Sentinel is
reprinting his letter in the full
knowledge that it will find a sym
pathetic response from long suffer
ing wives of Wrangell duck hunt
ers. The letter follows:
Dear Editor:
Certain seasons of the year folks
eat certain kinds of fruit and like
wise and furthermore during Ger
tain seasons of the year folks ask
various questions.
Right now everyone is inquiring
from everyone else, Have you been
duck huntin' YETI" and, How many
did you get?" The last question
only has one answer that I have
heard and that is 1.-The limit" 1t is
the limit how some of them hunt
ers takes liberties with the truth.
But then, that amt what 1 start
ed out to write about. l want to
make a publick announcement so
won't have to be answerin' ques-
lions about duck huntin' all of the
time. l am too busy studying to be
writer like I told you about the
other day and l don't want to be
bothered with a lot of fool ques-
tions.
Kicked in the Face
My answer to all of them is and
are this: Il amt been duck huntin'.
amt goin' duck huntin', and I
don't want to associate with any of
them prevaricators who has been
duck huntin'."
Then, of course, some idle person
would ask, well, why amt you
been or goin' duck huntin'?" l can
answer that one too by tellin' the
reasons why l amt.
1 was Walkin' down a dark hall
way in one of our modern hotels
few nights ago to my room. Il
amt goin' to mention its name for
they can do their own advertisin'.)
When I got kicked in the face. If
you amt never been kicked in the
face in the dark when you thought
you were bein' protected by the
Constitution of the United States
then you won't have no idea the
emotions that were reflected from
my face. I'll defend myself, 1 threw
up my fists and began dancin
around like 1 seen Alaska Pete" do
when he is shadow boxin', for I did
not know from where the kicks
come.
Legs in Transom
Not seem anyone in front of me,
behind me, or on the floor, and not
gettin' kicked again, put my dukes
| down and started lookin' about a
bit. Then l looked up and 1 seen
what l thot was twenty feet wavin
madly from the transom from the
knees down. After they had quieted
down a bit l seen there was only
two feet after all.
Then l wondered who was on the
other end of them. 1 sized them up
and they were quite smallish. l
knew of course they didn't belong
to Frank Reed by that. Then looks
| at the number on the door and de-
cides they must belong to Georgia
| Balls.
But couldn't imagine what her
feet were dom way up there so 1
sings out, What on earth are you
tryin' to do, Georgian"
A Duck Hunters Wife
She comes back with, I'm just
tryin' to give a Chinaman a music
lesson, you nit-wit, what do you
suppose 1 am dom? l want in my
apartment"
l says, Most of us folks who live
here in the hotel have fell into the
plebian habit of goin' in the doors
to our apartment"
She says, Most of you folks
around here amt married to duck
hunter either. That makes a differ
ence in the mode of access you has
to adopt at times to get in. Alfred