The Hardin tribune-herald. [volume] (Hardin, Mont.) 1925-1973, 1935-05-24
The Wedding Of the Ham and the Egg Walter Woods

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Published by Special Arrangements With The
Chicago Tribune;Nsw York News Syndicate
Copyright: 1885: BY WALTER WOODS
PART ONE)
"HAM AN'" AND GIRLS-LOTS
OF THEM-WERE CHARLES
SPECIALTIES; SO HE WAS MISER-
ABLE AS RELUCTANT BRIDEGROOM
UNTIL FATE TOOK A HAND.
liam anil" sang out Mamie in q shrill,
metallic voice.
Ham AMI" the sub-cellar grumble Of
the cook repeated the order. He toss
ed q thin slice Of ham on the gas plate,
poured a bit Of melted lard into a skillet.
and deity cracked the eggs with one
hand-opening the shells with his thumb
and dumping the contents into the hot
fat.
Two of the mattresses, picking up Their
orders from the serving table, paused to
cast admiring glances at this virtuoso
Of the broiler and pan-flattering glances
tinged with awe. For every white cap
ped, white aproned chef is a car in
his own little domain. holding the hap
piness nay. actually the lives Of his sub
oAAAAAdVCS AL LAG 41OA4OW " Ills 61CdSy
hand-in a manner OF speaking.
The girls habitually fawned on Charlie
Summers and brazenly bid for his favor.
When he condescended to notice one,
she Immediately became the envied Of
all the others-the kings favorite-again
in a manner of speaking.
At present Mamie was the fortunate
holder OF the lucky number. She had
held that enviable position SO long that
the "outs" had begun, in little feminine
ways, to attract the attention to them
selves-knowing that it wouldn't be long
now before Charlie made a switch in his
affections, unless staggering, hateful
thought-he intended to marry her!
With one skilful flip Of the skillet
Charlie turned h eggs. His glance fell
on h two girls before him. Come on
Come on!" he said in his sneering,
beltttling undertone. Grab yer order
What'sa matter with you two tarts-
passin out on yer feet?"
Fluttering with abashed excitement
the girls hastily gathered up their dish
es, bestowing apologize smiles in his
direction. But he paid not the slightest
heed. Rapidly, whetting his carver on
the steel he glanced over their heads
across his little world. Before him was
the serving table, beyond, the semi-circle
counter with stools for sixty. The Blue
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play-and he was chef. Quite satisfied
with conditions and himself was Charlie.
And the girl? Well, not so worse.
His superior glance rested on Mamie
cute little trick-corking figure-good
little sport, too-but, well, a fellow can't
stick to one dame all his life, can he?
And the new girl-the big one with the
dark hair-class. eh? I'll say!
Mamie hurried to the serving table for
hnr thorn and - Ch@ ry4~ i@% ~~l f1,,,I,
ed. Sweat stood in little beads or her
upper lip. The mascara on her lashes
had begun to run. Her nose needed
the powder puff. Not so hot!" was
Charles thought-when, as a matter Of
fact, that was what was the matter
with her.
Picking up her order she asked in an
night, Charlie?"
Don't know nothin' about what you're
goin' to do" said Charlie, I'm not"
Then come on over to my room, will
you? jules goin' out. " Julie was her
roommate.
Sure" said Charlie. whetting his cary
er. It meant IN evening alone with
Mamie glorious privacy and limitless
freedom-blissful occasions all too infre-
quent, for Julie went out but seldom.
Mamie swung gracefully away with
dishes piled on her arm while Charlie
watched her 1.-the form with anticipated
satisfaction. Great little pal-but, Jeeze,
neck-gets your goat sometimes-now
the big dark haired one-she'd make you
step-has a come on eye. that girl. Well,
It would be a darned nice evening at
Mamies-and at going home time he
could tell her they'd better break off
for the time being, anyhow-the boss
had said something about them going
fnOAfhar-rn pSen ~rl,n b. -at %{~nl I-,k
we could just lay low for a while, y
understand? And all the rest OF it. He
had voiced this speech so many times to
SO many girls that now he could reel it
off in a smooth. convincing manner.
mot wishing to deceive those whose
taste runs solely to fiction let us state
that this is a true story, perhaps possess