The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1935-10-02

follows at his heels wherever he
goes and if he chances to fall down
or bump his head she snatches him
up with exclamation of grief and
sympathy far beyond what the hurt
calls for I say let him pick himself
up, but she says that I am cold and
heartleSs. This is not the case at all
I feel as deeply about the child as
she does. but I want him to grow up
into a self-reliant, independent citi-
zen and believe that this should be
taught from babyhood if it is to
make a lasting impression. A word
rom you will be appreciated.
RESERVED.
AnSWer-Of course you are right
and your wife is wrong but
wonder why she is left with such
an overflow of emotion for her
child if she is satisfactorily mar
ried? Can it be that your reserve
leaves her starved for some ex-
preston of her bounteOuS affec-
tions which find no outlet except
in her child?
In other words, the love which
should be lavished on you is re-
buffed and turns to the boy for
satisfaction.
Usually the woman who regards
her child as some sort of animated
doll does so because she is pSy-
chically infantile herself. She
does not regard the child as a
human being who must be trained
in the cradle for adult life, but as
a pretty pet created for her own
amusement. I trust that my first
guess is right, for it is so much
easier for you to do something
Sbout it.
If outward expression of affec-
ion which you feel inwardly but
have difficulty in expressing Is the
trouble. you can train yourself to
put more warmth into your rela-
tionS with your wife. But if she
is emotionally a child, her re-
education will cause you more
trouble.
A psychically healthy parent
may show all the affection he feels
toward a child without damage.
1t is only the neurotic who needs
to be curbed, for he is the one who
does not recognize that it is the
child's business to grow up. DR..
Watson, in an impaSsioned attack
on parental coddling, has gone so
far as to wish that mothers could
be rotated, a different one to be
established in the home every two
weeks, like a trained nurse. This
is a well-meant but exaggerated
prescription. A report Of children
brought up in public institutions,
deprived of the affection Of
parents, shows that they often fall
into a state of decline which has
been called hospital disease" or
"hoSpitaliSm."
It's symptoms are loss of appe-
tite, reStleSSneSS, SleepleSSneSS and
other disorders. 1t may be that
you have swung to the opposite
extreme from your wife's attitude
and that emotional health for
your son lies somewhere in be-
tween.
Dear Jane Jordan-Kindly give
me some suggestions for birthday
gift for my boy friend. We have
been going together for two years
and are quite serious, in fact we ex-
pect to be married, but not right
away. I am just a poor working girl
so don't make them out Of my reach
He also works and supports his folks
and brothers and sisters. but has
given me some lovely gifts which !
would like to keep up with Please
mention several because he has just
about everything that boy wants,
which leaves me in tight spot.
LUCKY.
Answer-A trip through a de-
partment store will tell you more
than 1 can. If your gift is to be
in good taste. it must not be more
than you can afford. 1t is not
necessary for you to keep up with
him in the matter of gifts. All you
want is some small remembrance
which Will express the spirit of
the occasion. Since 1 do not know
his tastes I am handicapped. Does
he read? Is he a sportsman? Does
he golf? Make a list of what he
likes and be governed accordingly.