The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1935-10-10

in, puts clothes pin on your nose and
at the end Of 10 minutes pulls a pin
checked paper out of a cylinder with
jiggly lines shooting up and down it
and exclaims triumphantly, There, 1
told you it was the pink-eye! You can
see for YOURSELF"
And l don't dispute him for the same
reason that the chinamans laundry list
never checks with mine.
OF course department stores have
been going for this charting and sur
veying In a big way and over a long
period, not realizing that a period is
really a full stop. Indeed, no depart
ment store is complete without the de-
partment that makes up its secret
cross-bow puzzles which, when and If
worked out, show for instance, that
10 pairs Of mems pants divided by half
practically equals getting at the seat
of things.
But the best example of this new
game of a group telling the individual
how to run his business and proving it
by scratching s-scratch-can, is the Ad-
ministratiOn. This charting has even
crept into relief work and if anybody
thinks that a form of relief, they're
crazy. Not that l want to make my
self personae au gratin with the gov
eminent any more than l am already
over my income tax, but can't help
noticing when an Investigation Bored
unearths the fact that some guys on
the relief rolls or who had been rolling
the relief or something, had put in
lot of time making a survey of exactly
where there was no electric lighting in
Sumatra in 1926. Sore of King Of
All the Surveys" stuff, Ell what?
At that these charts might have
their useful side. For example, the
next time one of my creditors writes
and asks me why l haven't paid my
bill, might get a pad of that sports
goods paper and taking my pen be-
tween my toes to insure unGteadiness
make up a chart and send It to him
with the remark you can see for
yourself"
Also in writing the kind of letter in
which you discuss the weather we are
having, a chart of this popular kind
| would save describing the lightning.
The one who received it would I'M
doubtedly supply the thunder.
Torn into small strips and moistened,
these efficiency charts are very eff
cient for sweeping dust out of oriental
rugs.
And when it comes to firing the cook,
a chart of your digestion showing high
and low points of agony and pinned
above the stove, will usually do the
| trick. All cooks think that anything
they can't understand is an insult.
Personally l am bit quaint in my
ideas. The only time think two heads
are better than one is when kiss IS
involved, and no charts are needed to
promote efficiency.
And in my humble-pshaw, I don't
really mean that-in my darned cock
| sure opinion, the way to better bust
ness conditions and haul back that coy
! old girl, Prosperity, Is to quit smoth-
| ering individual initiative with central
committees, long-distance governing
boards, brain trusters and groups of
! fancy theorists, and allow good old
John Workman to do his stuff.
Practically every big man and i'm
portant woman in this country got
where they are by doing something the
experts said couldn't be done. The
weak crowd in herds, the strong stand
alone. And the strength of any coun-
try including the Scandinavian, is the
power and gifts Of those leaders who
have worked out their own salvation,
on the principle that man is what he
makes himself, not what somebody else
tells him he ought to be.
Once in Ireland, every man was a
King. How about adopting that slogan
for America before we become letter
In the Alphabet or a mineral in q
ledger, instead?
Nina Wilcox putnam.-WNU Service.