The Washington times., 1935-07-31
NOW
Soda Fountain
Etiquette
DRUG PROBLEM
nv HELEN ESSARY

Tim Colburn, who sells Big
and Small Automobiles to Big
and Lesser People, has been
brooding over the advice left
out of etiquette columns.
He says he read a magnificent
piece in a newspaper the other
day on How to Feel at Home
In a Night Club"
Mr.. Colburn already knows
the answer to this problem.
When he goes into a night club
he says to the head waiter.
"How are you, Admiral" and
SaluteS.
After this the place, or as
much of it as he can undertake,
Is his for the evening.
What Mr.. Colburn really wants
to. know is How to Feel at
Home at a Drug Store Soda
Fountain" Experience has con-
WINGED him that he doesn't
know the first thing about drug
store etiquette.
When he climbs upon a stool
before a big marble counter and
asks in his best falsetto voice
for "a shot with lemon, please"
nobody answers him.
Those brisk girls and boys be.
hind the counter keep right on
washing dishes and mixing
mayonnaise. Not only do they
not answer him. They never
even see him.
So he says in a louder voice:
"Say, sister! Wait on me,
please"
Again no response. The girls
and boys swish the soap and
water in the glasses. Or stir
the salad oil into a yellow bowl.
And look far away over his
probably into the night
before. Or at each other. Or
at other people. But never at
him.
Then he whistles. But they
continue to evade him.
After a few more requests, he
sinks away without his drink.
Other people have luck at soda
fountains. But never Mr.. Col.
burn.
Sometimes, though not often,
for he's a hearty fellow, Mr.. Col
burn thinks he might like a lit
tie medicine. The kind of medi"
cine his mother used to take.
So he steps through the door
of the drug store. Past the
piles of beach bags, the circulat-
ing library and the whiskbroom
department. And is just about to
ask for a little cough medicine
or something like it, when Mr..
Fauntelroy (see label on coat
lapeD moves forward and tries
to sell him an alarm clock.
Mr.. Colburn is very distressed
over the entire apothecary stu"
alton. He does admit, however,
the CHEEKY department of the
modern shop drives complaints
from his mind and his anatomy.
This is just as well, he thinks.
Because he never can find any
drugs in the present-day drug
store to ease his anguish.
Once he boldly asked for soda
mint tablets. While the clerk
was wrapping his parcel, Mr..
Colburn's eye fell on a large
sign saying:
1--WE buy our poultry from the
Wiring Their-Necks Brothers"
Mr.. Colburn sighed and fled.
Ethiopia, which is figuring
in the news in large and
fearful way, has no official
representative in Washington
or in the United States. EN-
peror Halle Selassie either must
communicate with us through
our legation in Adds Ababa,
or send his notes along "over-
head" so to speak.
This was not always so. Back
In the peaceful days when
Ethiopia was merely a red spot
on the map of Africa and EN-
peror Halle Selassie had no
more serious troubles than
fighting off mosquitoes, he had
diplomatic contact" man
in Washington.
This man had no official
status. to be sure, but he was
q kinsman of the imperial
family, knew a lot about his
governments affairs and was
of great value to the State
Department.
The Ethiopian gentleman's
name was Malaku Bayen, He
was a student at Howard Uni
verslty. For years he studied
there. Then up and graduated
a year ago, leaving his country
once more unrepresented Off
clally or unofficially in Wash.
1ngton.
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