The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1935-11-28

Sarded, the patient should proceed to
make good his boast as advertised
Extreme cases require extreme rene
dies. That's what Doctor Snev says,
and no one has better right to talk
than this gifted scientist and horse
player.
Many people regard face.to-face con-
versations as harder to interrupt than
phone conversations. It's painful to
insult anyone to his face. But Doctor
Snev laughs and calls this weakness.
He has listed half a dozen socalled
"gambits" for cutting the enthusiastic
word-slinger dead in his tracks.
One of these is the impartial gam
Bit" which should be thrown into the
conversation every half minute to con-
fuse the speaker. 1t goes like this:
Speaker: So Edith was on horse
back that morning, you know she can
ride anything on four legs, and she
was riding past the reservoir, the
south end, when we met her. Well,
you know how it Is. When you haven't
seen a girl for
Victim: Some say one, some say
the other.
Speaker: I beg pardon?
Victim: Some say one, some say
the other.
Speaker: Well, Edith was on horse
back
Victim: Some say one, some say
the other.
You will find that this device breaks
up the monologue in a nice way and
leaves no feeling in the speakers
mind except a suspicion that you
would be better off in a sanitarium,
which is probably correct.
According to Doctor Snev, this sys-
TEN always leaves hard feelings, which
may be all for the best.
Then there is the case of a tot of
my acquaintance, who has perfected
the water-W0rks system of interrupt
ing conversation. When his elders and
betters begin to weary him with their
talk he bursts into tears. This re-
quires a strong set of lungs and ready
control of the tear ducts, but it shows
that a child Of tender years can be
as smart as a fox, if not smarter.
Other methods include yawning eight
times to the minute, studying your
watch, and emptying a bottle of scotch
or rye on the floor between you and
the speaker. This latter device is
bound to fascinate him and check his
flow of thought through sheer horror.
The President Of the United States,
of course, has very easy time with
takers. Etiquette requires everyone
to shut up and go away when the
President rises to his feet. This
sounds perfect, but 1t happened in the
case of President Harding that the gag
missed fire. The President didn't know
about it. He remained seated for hours
at stretch while two earnest parties
bit hole in his ear and poured words
tipped him Off about his privilege, aft
er which Mr.. Harding was in a verti-
cal position practically all the time.
But these little anecdotes, though
they brighten up the story, have moth
ing to do with the average man. The
average man must fight his own bat
tie against listeners disease and cauli-
flower ear. In this battle he has no
greater friend than DR.. II. Fulkin Snev.
Doctor Snev admits it.
'Though l say so myself" he told
your correspondent the other day, Il
have done more to break off mono
logues than any man living. It's
gift, natural talent. Let me tell you
how it happened. AS a child I was
highly sensitive to sound. l was a
beautiful child, they say, with large
blue eyes, blond curls. and a warm,
trusting expression that must have
been irresistible. People used to stop
me on the street just to pat my head.
I won six contests for beauty and
charm, and can show you the
trophies. +"
"Where were you on the night of
February Z, 1922" 1 asked suddenly,
realizing the horror of my predicament..
But the Doctors tip did no good. He.
is still talking to me as as | write this.