Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1935-03-03

Paris to arrange for her taking COM
plete course in voice culture during
the three weeks there.
Percy and Colonel Blight and their
aides perspiringly did their best to
handle these details for Cordwood but,
curiously. most of the suppliants
wanted to see Cordwood himself.
They complained that Perez and the
colonel viciously denied such reason
able complaints as sending to the poor
farm at Tallahassee. Florida. for poor
Aunt Ethelberta. so that (though the
dear old thing had never seen Jack
rabbit Creek she might 60 along on
the tour. Now. MIR. Willoughby.
that's SO thonshtisss Of you! 1t would
give Aunty 50 much pleasure"
Cordwood was learning. as Percy
had long since learned. that when any
one says to you, ''Oh. do that - it
would give her so much pleasure"
then that is something most vigor-
ously not to do.
1t was surprising how much of the
current S6.87O.OOO Cordwood was
going to get rid Of. He had, before
inviting the town, neglected to learn
how much it would cost to charter a
de luxe liner. 1t would cost. he found.
about $25, 600 a day. six days to the
crossing and landing included. for
steamer like Dipsom0nia. aside from
tips, drinks. and the entertainers
whom he was determined to hire in
New York. Four hundred thousand
dollars might see the ocean part Of
the journey. both ways, paid for. but
Perez reminded him that he must not
be optimistic.
And so Cordwood signed checks,
and signed. and signed. and from
7 am. till after midnight daily he
listened to neighbors who wanted him
to settle their brother in-laws' debts
or their wives tempers or their diges-
tons before the sailing - and Cord
wood had considerably less fun out of
being a millionaire and public
benefactor than he had ever had in his
life.
But things got settled. Perce was a
pattern of energy and precision, Colo
mel Blight master of diplomacy and
executiveness, and Cordwood too
much of kind-hearted damned fool
to believe it even when he knew he
was miserable, and two weeks before
sailing. practically every one of the
crusaders seemed satisfied.
And just then Trouble personified
staggered down from the hills.
A year before. MIR. Bat Badger,
lumberjack and teamster. had been
incomparably the Understanding
Town Drunk in Jackrabbit Creek.
In a lively. unmalicious way. he had
gone fishing in the courthouse foun-
tain. chased the night policeman with
an unloaded revolver and. during a
particularly durable hangover. tried
to lead the singing in MIR. Mitch's
church. with the misconception that
the congregation were caroling Little
Brown Gal" instead of THE Little
Brown Church in the Wildwood"
Cordwood had raised - that is. had
contributed "a handsome purse to
assist his friend Bat Badger to get
out of town. quick. and 60 live with
his farmer son-in-law.
Now Bat was suddenly returned -
you needed no newspaper to learn of
it - and he was announcing to graft
fed throngs in the towns one saloon
that he was delighted to join Cord
woods party and show the Frogs and
Dagoes what a real two-fisted He
American could do in the way of
serious drinking He had always
wanted to 60 to sea. he explained, and
he was planning to bunk with the
captain of the liner. Sure he could. if
he wanted to. couldn't he? Wasn't he
mole friend of Cordwood's and
didn't Cordwood own the boat? Let
any heightened captain try to get
fresh with him! And now would all the
boys join him in Ill drink, to be
charged to his friend Cordwood?
The bartender YEARLY requested
Bat to 60 out and soak his head or.
preferably. 60 climb a tree. Bat was
hurt. He was shocked. He threw at
the bartender glass which broke the
mirror He awoke in an alley, mutter-