The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1935-10-10

She knows him down to the ground.
She comprehends that his bark Is
worse than his bic. In comes Letter
from a gentleman in Seattle who
wishes to have the Old Man send him
to England to sell the Prince of Wales
his wardrobe for the ensuing year.
The boss reads It and grunts. Tell
this bird to go to hades," says the
chief, throwing the letter across the
desk and the secretary sends Seattle:
Dear Sir: Replying to your kind let
ter of the sixth inst, we are very sor-
ry, but because of conditions in the
business at this time, we cannot han
die your proposition. Won't you please
take it up with us later"
Consider the case of the fat gentle
man with protruding ears who has
been sitting in the reception room for
weeks, waiting to interview the head
man, who does not wish to be inter-
viewed. The secretary stands between
them and says in her kindly voice,
leaning over railing: I'm sorry,
but you happen in at bad time. He
has several people with him now.
He'll be busy until lunch and then he's
going to Boston. Won't you please
write him letter, explaining what
you have in mind?"
When it comes to the telephone
ringers who call up each and every
morning at eleven o'clock, the capable
secretary knows the procedure and
saves her employer from wordy war
fare, 1t is generally a life insurance
ing annuities or bond salesman who
cannot be stopped by fire or high wa
ter She says: I'm sorry, but he
isn't in today. No, l don't think he's
coming in. He may not be in this
week. Won't you call again some
timer" The last is needless request
as it is one million to one, the sales
man will call on the morrow and pre-
cisely at eleven. Furthermore, these
statements are not considered as false
hoods, nor is the secretary liar, al
though her boss is sitting there at the
moment, glowerlng at her while she
talks. 1t is definite part Of the mod
ern business system and the lady is
often the very soul of probity and
would never think Of telling a DELHI
crate lie in her personal affairs.
After five years association with
her boss, the ordinary intelligent secre-
tary knows as much about him as his
own wife and often a great real more,
but she never says anything, and only
wonders at the singular transparency
and guilelesSness of mankind.
Many of our leading authors depend
upon secretaries and couldn't func-
ton without them. Rupert Hughes has
had the same one for years, young
man interested in literature, and as
Rupert Is prolific genius, the secre-
tary Is never idle. His working hours
are unusual, but he appears to like
his job. Mr.. Hughes begins the days
chore promptly on the stroke Of mid
night and pegs along until six in the
morning and then goes to bed. He has
done this for many years, sleeping
until noon. This working method, he
has figured out, gives him and his
secretary their afternoons for golf,
relaxation, movies and when they at
tend formal dinner in the evening,
they can remain until eleven thirty,
which is long enough and usually too
long.
w. S. Van Dyke, noted movie direc-
tor, has had the same secretary for
seven years, capable young woman,
who handles all his affairs She de-
clares he is the only man in the world
she Is really afraid of. but she may
be fooling. A truly desirable secretary
is the one that relieves his employer
of all responsibility, looks after his
business and social problems, pays
all his bills by check, and no matter
how heavy the Boss expenses may be.
always comes up smiling with the
CHEEKY information that there Is still
plenty Of money in the bank. If there
is such a secretary in the house, III
take him on myself.
q Neil Stafford.--WNU Service.