Evening star., 1935-12-15

ham, secretary; Ernest @. Walker,
historian: and the following men,
bers of the Executive Committee:
Walker S. Buel, Cleveland Plain
Dealer; James L. Wright. Buffalo
News, and Raymond Clapper OF
the Washington Post.
sought to rush off stage. Jim the
Penman stopped her.
AHA, my pretty one, not so fast;
you shall never reach that lobby" he
gritted.
Fooled again." sobbed Nellie. ''but
not for long. I'll go to the courts"
THE courts" sneered Lands, II
challenge you. I'll start a test suit
meself."
Is Nellie Happy?
What, Jim, you will?" asked Nellie.
"Oh, Jim. is that a promise? Oh.
blessed test suit. We may come to
love each other yet"
They went of stage arm In arm as
the band played strain of a we'd
ding march.
"A desert island where" an an
nouncer said, "Mr. William Randolph
Hearst had landed from California on
worldwide tour, searching for a
land where he can live without sup
porting the government" came next.
Mr.. Hearst entered, followed by Ar
thur Brisbane, Hearst columnist, both
showing weariness, and Hearst glaring
disgustedly at the scanty showing of
palm trees that made up the set"
Brisbane tried consoling the pub
Usher with few literary quotations.
Hearst: "Cut that out, Arthur. It's
bad enough to have to read it In
print"
Brisbane: Don't get excited, Mr..
Hearst. The tax rebellion is growing.
Here comes some recruits. Here, Mr..
Hearst, are Aimee Semple Mcpherson,
Charlie Chaplin, william Powell,
Jimmy Cagney, and, If I'm not mis-
taken, Col. Robert Mccormick of the
Chicago Tribune"
All Had "FIed the U. S."
It developed that the newcomers had
fled the United States" to avoid the
exactions of an extortionate admin
istration."
Lets sing glee to our great leader
William Randolph" it was suggested,
which they did, as follows:
THE gentleman obviously does not
believe in Morgenthau,
He shrinks when you mention Treas
ury bond or two.
It's hard to conceive that he doesn't
believe In paying a tax:
Like me, and you, and you.
THE gentleman obviously doesn't be-
lieve in fiscal fun.
Whatever he praises, tax raises are
all taboo.
1t seems he's not cursed with heav-
enly thirst for losing his shirt,
Like me, and you, and you"
Mr.. Hearst discovered in the group
"a low fellow in squalid attire"
Your name, sir" he demanded.
Here Comes the Dole.
THE name is Jones, or Smith, or
Brown" was the answer 1T doesn't
matter. belong to the tax-exempt
class you ladies and gentlemen would
like to join. am on the Federal dole"
To that he added a song:
"Oh, got plenty of nothin',
An nothin's plenty for me.
got no job, got no tax,
I got no misery.
Use receivin' de dole,
belongl"
At this point . burly figure in ap-
proved English fox-hunting pink"
strolled on stage.
IF it isn't Mr.. j. P. Morgan" said
Brisbane.
you don't pay taxes in the United
States. Mr.. Morgan" said Hearst.
IT know" blandly answered Morgan.
But it's such pleasure to hear about
them. Anyhow, must return to Eng
land for the fox hunting"
THE Promised Land"
Have faith, Mr.. Hearst, have faith"
said Sister Aimee. "Those of us who
live in the higher brackets must lead
our people to the Promised Land
where all securities are tax-exempt."
There's a land that is fairer than
day,
And by faith we shall see 1t afar,
Where there are no more taxes to pay,
And our bonds are forever at par.
In the sweet, by-and-by,
We shall meet on that beautiful
shore"
I'VE take you TO the remote hiding
place of the survivors Of that classic
melodrana, The G. O. p. Follies,'"
an announcer said as the lights came
on to reveal o battered troupef STIR
ring a pot over an open campfire.
Hello, Jim watson" called q voice
as another shabby looking actor came
on stage. what are you cooking7"
New Deal slumgullion, George
Noses" answered Watson, although it
was later defined as Roosevelt chow
der made Of an ear Of corn you plowed
under, q piece Of pork you didn't
raise, q potato you didn't grow"
wouldn't it be great If the old Re-
publican troupe could stage in WASH
ington o new edition Of the @. o. p.
Follies2" wistfully said Moses.
New Setting, Old Crowd.
"Brand-new stage setting out In
'front.'" added Watson, "but the same
old crowd behind the scenes"
That led to an inquiry as to who
should play the lead role.
The old star seems to think he'd
like to twinkle again." remarked
Moses.
"You don't mean Happy Herbert
Of Palo Alto?"
"sure. He's running around re-
hearsing the part all the time"
In stalked another trouper, clad in
moth-eaten coat with fur collar, bat
tered stove-pipe hat and traditional
heavy tragedian manner. Hand thrust
in coat, he declaimed:
''To run, or not to run; that is the
question.
The thought OF Borah gives me
Indigestion"
"Are you going to let someone else
| An,,n kha ~kAYanW ~AlA Eyael.ANf4N "A.