The Washington times., 1935-01-01
Now
did You Start
: ; 1885 Right?
"A JAN. | MIX-UP
. By HELEN ESSARY
Y I do hope you started the

rs ny HELEN ESoANA
Y I do hope you started the
New Year right.
Z Did you-this Is most i'm
portant-did you take some
thing in doors before you put
anything out? A milk bottle
would have done.
If you didn't, then good luck
will go out of your house every
day during the long year.
The tradition began with
Mrs. Noah Can up-and-coming
woman) who refused to let a
lion, a rabbit, a boa constructor,
or Mr.. Noah leave the Ark
until she herself, in person,
had taken In the Doves Olive
Branch.
Speaking of the New Year,
the holidays bring out the
worst in us.
Today, if anybody should say
Merry Christmas, we'd kick and
scream. AS for that great in
ternational delusion, the Happy
New Year, what, at this early
morning moment, we think
about that, can't be printed.
There's a chance, anyhow,
that it wasn't the arrival of
the real New Year that you eel
ebrated last night. When bells
and whistles and popguns were
Shattering your eardrums, and
strange people, especially men
who never particularly liked
you, began to hug you Gust be-
cause they happened to be near
you at the moment), it prob
ably wasn't the beginning of
the joyous 1885. 1t likely was
the eighth day of the thir-
teenth month of 1884.
You may have to begin eel
ebrating the Christmas holi-
days tomorrow. All, all over
again!
We're serious, terribly serious.
The movement for Calendar
Reform quite likely got in its
noble work while you were 60
ing merrily on your Christmas
way (your misinformed Christ
mas way).
The International Fixed Cal
endar League, you see, has been
busy lately campaigning for a
calendar that will make the
days and the months come out
even with the years.
The League says, not without
Sardonic gaiety:
"It should be quite evident
that the calendar needs an over
hauling (sOttO vOce-nOt only
the calendar. The fact that
each year commences on a diff
ferent day of the week cOnfuses
life horribly. $50 that's been
our trOuble)."
with months unequal in
length that are not multipleS Of
the week, it is easy to see why
some people get prematurely
gray. (Ah-hh-hh)."
Therefore, the plan for 13
equal months, though radical,
is very, very sound. With such
q plan, the world will be better
off. Budgeting of incomes will
be simple. Unnecessary birth
days will disappear. Days when
battles were lost y during the
War Of 1912 and with Aunt
Louisa-will melt away.
But all calendar reformers do
not agree. (Reformers are like
that. One crowd proposes a
calendar of IL months, divided
into four groups of three months
each.
From what we understand of
the plan, and we understand
very little, with December 81 as
Year Day, the quarters will be
equalized. The calendar will be-
come fixed for life. That is,
each year will start on the same
Tuesday. Or maybe Blue Mon,
day. August 81 will automati'
cally become February 20 or
Leap Day.
We think the idea is swell,
And so simple!
In spite of all our efforts to
be CHEEKY about the infant New
Year, here comes this notice
from Mr.. Jim Farley by way OF
c. B. Eilenberger, Third Assist
ant Postmaster General, on the
subject of birth announce
Ig1entS:
at has come to attention thai
some pOStmasterS are accepting
birth announcement cards filleC
out in writing with the date o.
birth. name of child and weight
for mailing in unSeaIed envelOpt
at the the third-claSS rate o.
postage.
Printed cards of this nature
when filled out in writing a.
above indicated, are first-cIas
matter and chargeable whel
sent in the mails, sealed or un
sealed in cases where the drop
letter rate applies.
"POStmaSterS should CAREFUL,
watch mailings of this char
acter, which are usually in small