The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1935-10-31

# l force him
70 obey he registers indignation
Nobody can talk to him like that
simply because they are above him
he says He thinks himself a very
much abused person Punishment
has no effect except to make him
more contrary and kind words have
no effect either What is your
opinion?
Answer-We can not under
stand the meaning Of this Child's
behavior without knowing more of
his family situation You may be
sure that his reSentful reaction to
authority did not start with his
life in an institution but was eS-
tabliShed at home long ago What
you see now is simply a repetition
Of some earlier disappointment in
the adults Of his family in which
love and resentment came into
conflict
Without meaning to do so,
adults often make children feel
painfully insignificant The ar
rival Of a new baby in the family
is the most comon cause of en-
during childish resentment against
parents and their surrogates.
When the baby gets all the at
tentiOn to which the older child
has become accustomed, the fat is
indeed in the fire No monarch
gives up his kingdom willingly,
What you see in this child is a
struggle to regain the throne
which he lost in his family at
some time.
Neither punishment nor petting
will help such a boy He wants to
feel significant in his environ
ment and would rather be noticed
as a nuisance than not to be no.
ticed at all Your cue is to help
him find legitimate ways to estab-
llSh his own Importance. He
should be encouraged to succeed
at anything which he does we'll
and given more and more re-
Sponsibility in proportion to his
growing capacity to handle it.
If you are too kind he thinks
you are babying him If you are
too stern he thinks you are abus-
ing him, His mother must have
alternated between these two at
titudes and he learned to mis-
trust both Of them from her Since
you are in a position of author
ity over him it is natural that he
should repeat his attitudes toward
his mother in his behavior toward
you. Treat him as you would any
other responsible citizen and
praise his reliability whenever he
exhibits it. If you do not wound
his ego he will not feel that he
owes it to his personal prestige to
combat you,
Dear Jane Jordan-I'm in love
with a fellow from out of town ]
am sure he once felt the same way
about me. We even have planned
on getting married when the COM
pany he worked for transferred him
to a different city. Since he has
been there his letters have been
very cold and lately I haven't heard
from him at all I don't think a
girl is the cause Of his not writing
to me. Even if it is another girl
don't you think he could have writ
ten 10 me Just the same? I've been
going crazy with worry. I don't
think I'll be able to stand it much
longer Although I have plenty of
other dates 1 still love him and
can't forget him. Please tell me
what to do. How can I find out
what is wrong? LONESOME.
AnsWer-No sensible girl wants
to tie herself to a man whose af-
lection for her is so shallow that
it will not hold when she is out
of sight You should congratu-
late yourself or having made this
discovery before marriage instead
Of afterward You simply must
learn to let go Any one can for
get an unsuccessful love affair if
he puts his mind to it. Those who
hang on to a lost love forever
do so because they are afraid of
failure in new venture. Time
will do more for you than I can.
Announces BetrOthdl
Mrs. Ernest McCallie 734 N