Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1935-05-23

whom I am bringing up most
~ strictly. My problem is my
oldest daughter She Is not
yet II nor out Of high school. She has
always been a good girl, honest and
conscientious, taking no interest in
dancing and movies, which I have
forbidden and against which my other
children have rebelled. However, Of
late she has become interested in a
young man who comes to see her. I
do not approve Of this friendship, al
though she claims she Is not serious.
and / have refused to let him come
into my home. have not forbidden
her to see him, though I am on the
point of doing so. All the schoolgirls
in our community have boy friends
and dates, but want her to be diff
ferent and have a career first. Do you
think I am right?
ONE OF OLD STOCK.
Answer: No. ! think you are Just
as wrong as wrong can be in your at
titude toward your children, and that
If you persist in it you will drive them
into doing the very things that you
are trying to guard against.
BELIEVE absolutely in parents ex-
= ercising authority over their chill
dren and that children should be
taught obedience. I think it is a ter
rible thing for fathers and mothers to
let their children run wild, to come
and go as they please, to have no re-
strictions whatever put upon their lib
critics and to be subject to no discip-
line. 1t makes for anarchy in the in
dividual, just as the lack Of all law
and order would in a nation. Chill
dren lack the knowledge and the ex-
perience to decide many questions for
themselves and it is their parents
duty to guide and protect them.
But this does not give the parents
the right to tyrannize over their chill
dren and to deprive them of all per-
sonal liberty, nor does it give the par
ents the right to decide every question
in the child's life, nor to shut it off
from the joys of youth.
IT SEEMS to me that this is the mis-
take you are making. Like so
many other parents, you have listened
to such lurid stories about the orgies
OF modern youth that you have got
panicky on the subject and you are
trying to protect your youngsters
against the dangers of the world by
keeping them under lock and key Be-
lleVe me the boys and girls of today
are not half as red as they are paint
ed. In fact, doubt if they are any
worse than they were in your day
and my day.
And, anyway, as Mr.. Cleveland re-
marked, 1T Is a condition and not a
theory that confronts u.s." The world
has changed. and especially has the
status OF children changed, and you
simply cannot dominate them now as
your father probably dominated you.
You have to use tact and diplomacy
now instead of the rod, after they are
babies and have ceased to be afraid
OF you. Parents used to hold over
their children's heads the threat that
they would turn them out Of doors if
they didn't do exactly as they were
told, but that has lost its terror over
the youngster who can hustle out and
get himself a job. and would rather
be on his own, anyway.
CHILDREN can still be ruled by an
~ appeal to their reason, but you
have got to give them a square deal
and recognize their side of the ques-
ton, too. And you are not doing that
when you refuse to let your daughter
have nice boy friend and 90 to
decent parties and clean movies with
him. You are cutting her of from
association with the boys and girls of
her own age and isolating her when
you don't let her go about as the other
youngsters do. A few years of that
and you will doom her to be an old
maid. because it is the easiest thing
in the world for a girl to get stranded.
Get her out of her set and she is done
for socially.
Don't deceive yourself into thinking
that when you forbid your children to
do things that they are not doing
them. They are-on the sly. Refuse
to let your daughter have boy friends
at home, and she will meet them on
the street. Which would you rather,
have your children conf1de in you, tell
you their plans, tell you about where
they are going and what they do, or
have them deceive you and do things
behind your back? You can take your
choice, for youth is going to be served.
1t Is going to take its pleasure.
DOROTHY DIX.
\ X
DEAR MISS DIx-which works the
harder, the mother or the father
in a family? A. E. D.
Answer: Whichever one is telling
you his or her tale of woe. The man
Y,piafc 70 hon, hard ho hoc RI vunrly