The Washington times., 1935-05-15
NOW
PeriLs of Chase
Il After MOney
A MAYOR SLIPS
BY HELEN ESSARY

AA 4A1AAy PdIIO Va kAAo bAAAO0N
land Of our-r-rs. Gwen in my
own-above suSpicion-family Is
the hope that thereby the front
terrace might get itself perma-
nently sodded.)
Governors and mayors who
have already hurried to Wash
ington to grab as much work
relief cash as they can (you
know how other people are) are
now running about the town,
ringing governmental doorbellS,
asking for work fund handouts.
Unfortunately these ambi-
tious gentlemen aren't sure
which doorbell to ring--the one
that guards Mr.. Ickes-Mr.
HopkinS-or Mr.. Walker. Or
maybe they should ring at Mr..
Roosevelt'S big white front door!
They can't find out.
Such confused begging tells
on the hardest spirit. Some
times it forces noble citizen
to do contrariwise, while in
Washington, to what a noble
citizen does at home.
Here's a story to prove my
point. An absolutely true story
about a mayor from a big, deep
Southern city. He must be name
less: He wants to keep on being
mayor. Poor thing!
Last week, he had been ring
ing doorbells all day in the
manner just mentioned. He had
been told time and time again,
as is any travelling panhandler:
"No,. the gentleman Of the
house Is not at home"
At about 9 in the evening,
grown quite melancholy, he de-
cided to dash out for a little
touch Of night life. The day life
at. the Capital had about whip
ped him down.
Our Mayor while visiting
Washington, this is important,
was dwelling in mellow intellec-
tuality at the Cosmos Club.
He went to look for gaiety
somewhere else. Naturally. He
found the gaiety at the Heigh
Ho Night Club.
When he returned to the
Cosmos Club it was later than
he thought. The mellow in
tellectuality had been turned
off for the night. The rooms
were dark. The door was locked
tight.
The Mayor knocked gently.
No one came. Then he remem.
bered he haG the key of his
own front door, of the Mayors
front door. to be exact, in his
pocket. Maybe this key would
fit in the Cosmos Club keyhole.
He was working heartily at the
experiment, whistling as he
toiled, when he felt a tap on
his shoulder.
Whats going on, buddy?"
said the largest policeman south
Of the Mason and Dixon Line.
"Oh-GOOd evening, Captain!
1'm-er-I'm just locked out.
I'm.er-trying to see if the key
Of my own house in White City
wouldn't open the Cosmos
Club"
"YOu don't say! Who are
you to be having such bright
ideas?"
"Me! Pm the Mayor Of
White City,"
I've heard lots funnier ones
than that. You come along
with me-"
"ReaIy-Captain-I AM the
Mayor. Congressman and Sen.
atOrs would prove"
UnimpresSed, the policeman
took the visitor to the station
house. The sergeant who wrote
bis name on the blotter said:
'NOw. Phone your swell
friends. See if they know you"
The mayor from White City,
not so jaunty as he had been
an hour earlier, did phone. He
reused his own Senator out of
bed. The Senator flew down to
the police station. Or practi-
cally flew.
He hastily identified the Cos
mos Club houSebreaker as the
worthy mayor of White City.
And took the grateful fellow
back to Mrs. Senator for scram.
bled eggs and black coffee.
The mayor is on his way home
now. He thinks he will take
his next chance at the public.
works grab bag by parcel post.
Or else, he'll carry a skeleton
key for early closing front doors.
Mrs. Grace Morrison Poole,
president of the General Fed.
Grafton Of Women's Clubs, evi.
IDENTIFY understands that hardy
perennial spring fever. She
wrote recently in the Club
Woman, the federation's maya
zine:
Dear Members Of the Fed.
eratiOn-As spring replaces WI.
ter, play . little more"
At the next annual fedora.
ton meeting in June, in De.
troit, the two candidates who
are hoping to succeed Mrs.
Poole as president are of diff.
ferent background" One, Mrs.
Josephine L. Pierce, Of Lima,
Ohio, is an oSteopath. The
~kHan,o Are Pohorto Hononhn11