The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1935-10-03
Yes and No
BY HAL c. VERMES
Mcclure Newspaper Syndicate.
wNU Service.
ouUNKY D0RY," says Mudder,
i i awon seven races last winter


well known up here at Arlington, he
should get the nod at a very juicy
price"
But" says Harry the Pinhead, that
other Mexican hide. Shanghai, is also
a fast runner and his record, 1 do be-
lieve. is equal if not better than this
other gelding. Therefore, l am think
ing that Shanghai will beat Hunky
Dory, though undoubtedly by not so
very much"
While we are discussing the points
of these two bangtails, Beezer BERTHE
arrives and insists on settling the argu-
ment
Both of these hides" he says, "are
fast on the turf and as they are still
young, they will run at good prices.
However, l have discussed the whole
matter privately with all and sundry
and l am giving you the best tip you
ever had in your life when I say that
Shanghai will win this contest"
"Okay," says Mudder. "We will plank
down our roll on Shanghai as long as
you are sure that he will get the nod"
Positively" says BERTHE as he hur-
ries away on another of his frequent
mysterious errands
But when BERTHE is gone, Harry the
Pinhead lets out some plain words
with fancy trimmings.
"Why all the explanatory freworks?"
I ask.
sEDooauso Sorr uarrr ss;+ &c eaSu
to be seen that BERTHE is trying to
put the finger on US again. Do you not
remember that at the dog track few
weeks ago, he gives Us positive tip
on Fleetfoot and then Skagway wins?"
YES" I reply. And the reason he
do this is to get everybody to crack
down their dough on Fleetfoot and lay
off betting on Skagway. So by the
pari-mutuel system, the odds on Skag-
way stay way up in the air and BERTHE
wins himself five grand"
"Well," Harry continues, "as they
use the pari-mutuels here at Airing
ton park too, can't you see that BERTHE
is trying to give US another bum steer?
He is undoubtedly telling everybody
within so miles TO bet on Shanghai.
Therefore, there will be very little
money on Hunky Dory except for what
BERTHE cracks down himself. So the
price on that nag viii be very beauti-
full indeed and BERTHE will collect an
other barrel of cherries by making
dopes out of everybody else and u.s."
THAT" exclaims Mudder, sis in
deed the situation, it is plain TO be
seen. But now all we have to do is
put down our dough on Hunky Dory
and clean up ourselves"
"That is perfectly right" I agree.
"We know from past experience that
Beezer BERTHE is the best picker of
winners among US. So my vote is that
as we have figured out that he really
knows Hunky Dory is the hide what
win win, we should lay down all our
cherries right across his nose"
AS it is unanimous among us, we
then lay our century notes along the
line on Hunky Dory to win.
watch the board" says Harry when
we sit In the stand. "Now you will see
that the price on Shanghai, which is at
present 5000. win start dropping as
BERTHE goes around giving everybody
the false tip.
"Yes," say. "And the price Of $3.50
on Hunky Dory will stay up just like
BERTHE planned that it would"
And that is exactly what occurs. The
price on Shanghai goes down until at
the final sweep it is S33.47. While the
price on Hunky Dory only flutters
little and ends still generously over so
bucks. Therefore, we know that we win
beat BERTHE at his own game and we
are very happy indeed"
But as Mudder so frequently re-
marks. with bangtails and blends one
can never be positively sure what will
happen. And in this case we get the
shock of our life when Shanghai wins
at is indeed with great pleasure"
Mudder reflects when BERTHE meets US
after the event in the paddock, 1--WE
inform you that you are double dou-
blecrosser and you ought to be shot
at sunrise and preferably before"
But gentlemen" BERTHE protests
when we explain what has happened,
you do not really think that I would
purposely provide that you should lose
your entire bank, do you? That little
affair at the dog track I just tried
out TO see if could beat the totalizer
which was new to me then And it only
cost you ten bucks apiece which, II
you will remember, I spent a lot more
than that on the party celebrating my
winnings. Today however, l know that
you want TO be the whole barrel of
cherries and as you are indeed my very
best pals. naturally 1 give you the
straight tip on Shanghai"
Therefore" says Harry, "the only
consolation we gets is to find out thai
you are not a doublecrosSer like We
suspected However, that do not return
US the ten grand which we have lost
on Hunky Dory. But as you are one
OF our partners. l suppose there IL
nothing to do but forget it, which we
do herewith but with much regret"
II am indeed very sorry. gentlemen"
says BERTHE, that you do not figure
out correctly that at the dog track I
did not mean what 1 said but that
when ] told you to bet on Shanghai
today I was very serious indeed"
Il agree with Harry" I conclude.
shat we win have to forgive you. And
especially because as he and I have
been very much married for many
years, we have had similar experiences
In the past But hereafter we win be
sure to remember that you are just
a woman who about the only time she
means what she says is when she does