davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1935-01-04
ALL IN A DAY
BIZ MARK HELLINGER

to the information clerk at the
railroad station.
IF you plizz," ne inquired,
"vot times comes in de naxt
train from Chicago?"
I'm about fifteen minutes"
was the cordial reply.
The Hebrew turned away. But
in less than a minute, he was
back again.
IF you'll be so kindly" he
said, would you tall me vot time
comes in de naxt train from
Chicago?"
II just told YOU" growled the
information clerk, that it would
be here in about fifteen min
utes."
Once more the Hebrew turned
away. And once more he was
back in some forty seconds.
would you mind tallink me"
he asked, "vot time comes in de
naxt train from Chicago?"
The information clerk leaped
to his feet.
"I've told you twice" he
roared. "And if you ask me
that again, I'll punch you right
on the nose!"
The Hebrew stepped back a
pace. He shook his head sorrow
fully.
"Oh, no." he cried. ANTI
Semitic, eh?"
The Washington times., 1935-01-04
Three Times

What a queer year this 1884
has been! So sorry you had to
be dragged into it at the tail
end. Mel expected it. Last
February, there was that cab
that ran over me when slipped
on the ice. All / got was a
bruised arm. Then the explosion
at the house. Nothing more seri-
Gus than a few stitches on the
knee and a shaking up. And
nOw-this clOut on the head, a
few stitches over the right eye.
q smashed finger-and how're
you been! They run in threeS,
they Say-well, there you have
the three-and now comes '35.
Natalie was funny. When
they told her about it, she said
calmly, well, I guess I better
bring them their pajamas." But
poor faithful Annie cried so
hard when she learned about
your face and spent all night
praying for you.
Brazil who runs the snOOty
night club downstairs also runs
this hospitals that a laff? A
The Washington times., 1935-01-04
Go Slow

It is Seymour Sussman who
states it took place in Traffic
Court only the other morning.
A motorist. charged with speed
ing, stood before the magistrate.
Anything to say?" asked the
bench.
yes, indeed. your honor"
cried the motorist. This
charge is totally unfair. I
wasn't going 40 miles an hour.
I wasn't going 30. I wasn't
even going 20. I -
The magistrate interrupted
him hastily.
STEADY, man, steady" he
growled. "1f you're not care
full, you'll be backing into some
thing"
At the Dawn Patrol Club the
other night, backgammon
argument took place between
two Broadwayites who were
once in the big money. To set
tie the matter, they agreed to
play just one game for a
stake of $25. Such a wager
would have been chicken-feed
for them in years gone by.
A board was brought OUT
and the players went to it. In
10 minutes, the game was over.
While the winner waited, the
loser produced a check book
and wrote out a check for
$25. He handed it over.
Here you are" he grunted.
"Put this in your bank on
Monday"
He hesitate d-and then
added:
And every Monday there
after!"
The Washington times., 1935-01-04
.endy Barrie Signs
Paramount Contract

Wendy Barrie. distinguished
young English actress. has been
signed by the Paramount studios
under a long-term contract for
a series of leading roles. Her
first screen assignment is not an
nounced. Notable of her work
on the screen was her perform
ance of Anne Boylan in Henry
VIII"
The Washington times., 1935-01-04
Other Patients

ley hasn't been around to see US.
Well, this will kill you, honey.
He's been lying in a room on
this very floor since last week.
Only got out yesterday, himself.
And over in another room is
COurtenay Savage whom l prom
iSed to call in when we had our
party. Poor guy, he was fast
asleep at midnight so the nurse
didn't have the heart to waken
him. Sigmund ROmberg's wife
is in another room but she
couldn't get up to join us. Saw
age will kick himself, / bet, for
falling asleep because the girls
were certainly pretty-Neva
Lynn, Sally Bynam, Diane Cor
day, Dorothy Rodney, Dickie
Taube-I've forgotten the others.
Remind me to find out U1to
the telephone operators are.
They're been so patient 10ith the
callS-they'Ue had such a tough
time explaining 1Dhy you can't
anSwer the phone and a tougher
time deciding whdt calls to let
me take. Ny opinion of hos
pitfalls and hospital stats has
risen considerably, III tell you
that.
Remind me to find out Who
the telephone operators are.
They're been so patient Uith
the cduS-they'Ue had such a
tough time explaining 1Dhy you
can't dnSUer the phone and q
tougher time deciding 1Ohat
calls to let me take. ny opin-
ion OF hospitals and hospital
stats has risen considerably.
I'll tell you that.
Have you been able to do
much reading, honey? I sup
pose not the way your eyes
are closed. I've done my share
through this one open glim
and the best piece is Ernest
Hemingway's "Notes on Life
and Letters" I didn't know
the fellow had so much drollery
in him. He takes a terrific
wallop at this new literary up
start. William Saroyan-rough
isn't the word for it! Listen to
this:
"NOw most Of us, and I'm
not drunk any more Mr..
SarOyan, have written very
little of what we know because
it is very hard to write and we
have to learn how to handle
what we are going to write.
So we write the part Of what
we know that we can handle
with our equipment as we go
along. You want to watch
yourself, Mr.. S., that you don't
get so bright that you don't
learn. And you don't want to
forget the old fellow country.
man, Mr.. Arlen. He was as
bright as you and brighter and
look what happened. Also your
ear isn't so good. And . good
ear in a writer is like q good
left hand in a fighter. Do I
make myself clear? Or would
you like me to push your puss
in? 0'm drunk again now you
see. It's a wonderful advant-
age when you're arguing.)"
It sure is, Ernie, except when
you're arguing with a big car
that runs into you.
Well, sDeet, just didn't
1Dant for you to think that be-
cause you hGUen't seen me since
last night that I'Ue forgotten
you're lying in that room nert
door. Me, I'm feeling pretty
good right noD and tDhen the
doctors get around again I'm
going to ask them to for Gods
sake let me get out OF here. A
1Deek in bed is enough for any,
one-and here the HGuptn1nnn
trial is ready to break and I
1DGnted to be there that first
day for the tireUorkS.
Yes sir, Toots, we finished up
the good old year right on our
ears, didn't we? And I'm start
ing the new year with a bang,
too. They just handed me DR..
Whites bill for the x-rayS. I'm
going right back to bed!
Your loving husband,
l. O.
The Washington times., 1935-01-04
THE VOICE OF
BrOadWa ay
-By Louis SObOI
Again, CoIumnist Writes to His Bride

- Well, honey, we certainly topped off the year
with smash finish, hey baby? And what smash!
But it solved our New Year Eve problem. No traf-
fic jams to worry about-no crowds to push
through-no headwaiters and walters to tip-it's
really new note in New Year Eve celebrations
when you come to think of it. Simply reserve
couple of rooms in quiet hospital and let the radio
do vour holiday shouting
The Washington times., 1935-01-04
Is Not Possible

The troupe protested might
lily. They couldn't learn it so
quickly, they insisted. It was
out of the question. So Mr..
Glotz, scratching his head,
went back to see the mayor
once again.
Tell me, my good man." he
asked. THAT stranger who
gave you the information about
Uncle Toms Cabin'-is he still
in town."
"Oh, no." he replied. "He
left town the very next day."
Whereupon Mr.. Glotz walked
back to his eagerly-awaiting
troupe. He nodded slowly.
"All right, ladies and gentle
men," he said. Take your
places the same as always and
speak the same lines you have
always spoken. You have only
to remember one thing:
1.-THE title The Waits Awaits
has been changed. It is now
Uncle Toms Cabin'!"
A great event took place on
Broadway a few weeks ago.
insists Julie Wintz. A we'll
known actress was married in
secret.
It was so secret, in fact,
that the usual announcement
that it would be a secret mar
riage was actually kept secret!
The middle-aged Hebrew, re-
ports zaO Freedman. walked UP
The Washington times., 1935-01-04
Crins and Bitters

You must listen, by all
means, to Jimmy Gillen $
tale of the old-time stock
troupe that had been play
ing the smallest towns in the
land for years and years and
years. The opus they pre-
sented was something called
"The Waif Awaits" as writ
ten by the trap drummer Of
the troupe.
Strangely enough, the outfit
made money. 1t made money
because, by the time the audi
ence realized what a terrible
play they had witnessed, the
final curtain had fallen and
it was too late to demand a
refund.
Arriving in a tank town late
one afternoon, the company
rushed over to the livery stable
in which they were to present
"The Waif Awaits" that very
night. While they paced up
and down the crudely con-
structed stage, Mr.. Glotz, the
manager, remained behind to
have a few words with the sta
tion porter, who was also the
mayor of the town.
What the mayor told him
evidently distressed him might
lily. Mr.. Glotz ran right over
to his troupe.
I'VE are in serious Difficult
ties" he cried, land something
must be done Immediately. I
Just had a conversation with
the mayor of this town, and I
repeat something must be done.
"We've been showing "The
Waif Awaits" for quite num-
ber of years. We haven't made
millions of dollars. but we have
never starved, either. Every
thing has been going along
nicely, but it looks as though
that's all over now.
"It seems that a stranger
passed through here last week
and told several people that
Uncle Toms Cabin was the
play that everybody should see.
Now the entire town wants to
see Uncle "Cm's Cabin'-and
they won't take kindly to any
thing else.
so what .,:e we to do? The
only thing I see is to get
scrip of Uncle Toms Cabin
and go into rehearsal imme'
dio+o1u -
Evening star., 1935-07-21

big charity organization. Tents and shacks
beneath the pines on the edge of a cool lake
with boats and RATS and diving boards. The
picture brought anguish to fat perspiring
little Jerome.
This year his pals were going to the lake
again, and he was to be left in town! He had
only himself to blame. He had been slow
about getting his name on the list with
Miss Lane, the young lady to whom applica-
ton had to be made. A schoolteacher in the
winter, she lived in this building She had
done her best for him; but people had not
been so generous this year in contributing to
the camp fund, so Miss Lane had been told
Evening star., 1935-07-21

Il did so!' replied Jerome.
Amt l been to her office
dozens of times?"
Yeah, but I'm talkin' about tonight
Maybe some more people sent in money Go
down to her fiat and see her!'
"She amt there"
"She is so! saw a light in her window
only half an hour ago! She can't be asleep on
night like this Besides, it S early"
"Nothin doin'. l rang and knockedr'
Then try her 'phone!''
II done that, too!'
Then 60 down her fire escape She's right
below us - one flight down.
There amt any fire escape from this part
to her fiat" And relapsing into his former
gloom, Jerome repeated his first remark.
Gee! wish was dead!''
Jaw, 60 hang yourselfr' Johnny said. And
out of his own utterance there leaped into
his fertile mind such perfectly swell idea
that he gave startled Huh He turned an
appraising look on jerome $50 long as you
don't mind bein dead, gotta plan for you, "
he said.
WLldl Is II!
Il amt ready yet"
Excitedly hugging his bare thin knees,
Johnny scowled as he thought. The other
two watched They were used to Johnny
ideas. No use to talk till he had thought one
out. 1t took some time; for as he built up his
plan, he thought of his big brother. Bill. who
supported their family and was cub reporter
on that newspaper uptown. And the posi-
bilities in the publicity angle to his plan
almost took his breath away He planned and
planned. At last he was ready
II want two nickels from you, Jerome, so
can phone and, Legs" he said, turning to
the third boy of the group, you get some
rope-good strong clothes line - understand
gotta plan for Jerome to see Miss Lane to-
night And gotta scheme to get money for
that campr'
Excitement spread on the roof. Other small
boys gathered around. A fine new clothes line
was swiped from below and, after one end was
made fast to chimney, the other was drawn
in slip moose around the fat chest of scared
Jerome. To all his protests Johnny said
'Aw, what you scared of? Take chance!
Her fiat is only one floor down! Now Legs,
said Johnny, you handle this job while go
down where can make coupla telephone
calls"
He left. and the gang got to work. Lined up
as though for tug of war. they held tight to
the rope, while Jerome. beseeching them to
60 slow, was lowered over the parapet on his
way to the fiat ten feet below
Down there Miss Lane lay exhausted in
bed, sick of telling small boys there was
no more camp money now.
Her telephone rang. She let it ring. But
when it rang on and on and on, she rose.
Hello, Miss Lane. Johnny Fitch" came a
small voice. I'm talking to you for Jerome. !"
''Oh, Johnny, I've told him dozens of times.
There's no more money. He just can't 60"
He feels so bad he says he wishes he was
dead. He's got rope. He's hangin' himself" "
Hanging himself2 Great heavens Where?"
Right outside your window, ma am. May
be you can snake him in
Evening star., 1935-07-21

She rushed to her window He wasn't
quite there, for the gang above had aimed
him wrong. He hung several feet to one side.
Slowly turning around and around, the small
fat boy was pteous sight; but with relief
she saw that he was not hanging by the neck
and the rope was tight beneath his arms.
Jerome! What on earth are you doing2"
Just hangin," came the choked reply.
II feel terrible" said Jerome.
He did. He was getting sick now As he
turned slowly around and around, she tried
to reach out to him. but she failed.
wait, now. wait!
She ran to her closet and brought an UNI
brella and leaned far out, but she could not
hook him in.
'Now what in the world am to do? Why
did your Oh, Jerome. Jeromer'
IL just wanted to see about goin to camp,
so | could get some air to breathe" came
the fat boys sick reply. But you're right,
Miss Lane, shouldn't done it. This rope
is so tight / can't breathe. And feel terrible"
Hold on tight. and Ill find some way to
get you in!''
Down in the crowded street, Johnny Fitch
was preparing rescue of more sensational
kind Darling in and out through the crowds
and pointing up toward the sky, he soon had
people looking up at the small dark form at
the end of rope.
That's my friend! He's hangin himself!
He told me he wished he was deadv'
The cry went up. "A suicide!' A cop
fItrnod in f1Vaa ALARM Ac ho
Johnny looked around for the answer to the
other telephone call he had put in. 1t came
in the form of his big brother elbowing his
way through the crowd.
where's the story?" he asked Johnny
The small boy pointed up at Jerome. A
siren shrieked. And here's some more" he
added, as hook-and- Ladder truck came
ploughing through the throng.
A few minutes later, up long ladder
climbed husky young fireman, who re-
marked, as he grabbed Jerome: There's a
cop waiting for you down there"
The fat boy squirmed.
Cop waitin' for me9 What have l done?"
Plenty! Attempted sucider
Suicide nothin'! All was after was little
air to breather
'You took swell way to get it!'
Jerome explained further to the cop, when
he reached the street below. And after the
good-natured bull had said: OK. son, 60
on home, he had to tell it all again. For
Johnnys brother cheerfully said:
Nov give us the real story kid. What's
this about wishing you were dead?"
''Yes, get this story rightr' said Johnny
Fitch. Look at his neck where the rope bit
in! Look at his legs still shaky The poor fat
fish can hardly walk! Come on, Jerome, and
do your stuff How did you feel when the rope
bit ino'
"Tenible!' said Jerome
In the morning Johnny and several of his
friends sat reading newspaper. On the front
page was the story of small fat boy who had
tried to hang himself because he couldn't 60 to
camp and swim in a cool lake. At the end was
an interview with Miss Lane statement
eloquent with the despair of all the luckless
boys and girls left behind in the sitting town.
Johnny said contentedly: That ought to
bring the money - and the train don't go till
noon tomorrow
When the train pulled out next day, not
only Jerome but score of Others had been
added to the list of campers for the next
two weeks. A score of grateful little boys were
Evening star., 1935-07-21

EERoME felt terrible" So did his friends;
for day after tomorrow they were going
to camp and he would be left behind.
They were three small boys up on
the roof OF a tenement building. On that
sitting August night, the tenement roofs were
a dark-fevered land with acres and acres of
PROSTATE forms. men, women and children
come up from below in search of some good air
to breathe. But even up here the air was hot
and stale and heavy with gas and smoke
In that dim, sweltering sea of life, half
naked and gliStening with sweat, the three
boys thought Of the camp in the Michigan
hills to which they had been sent last year by
Evening star., 1935-07-21
by ERNEST POOLE

she could take only those boys
at the top of her list. Jerome,
with hundreds of others, was
doomed to swelter on in town.
"Gee!" he exploded. II
wish | was dead!"
Then Johnny Fitch grew
very sore. Johnny, who had
red hair and bright shrewd
green eyes, who was quick
and smart and boss of the
gang. He liked Jerome, and
he was sore at the way Jerome
had bungled this.
why didn't you see Miss
Lane like | told you. way
back in June2" he demanded.
And why don't you keep
after her now2"
II did SOL" replied Jerome.
"Ain't | been to her office
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1935-09-16
SOARING CUBS
TACKLE GIANTS
Chicago Risks League Lead
Against ConquerorS
of Champions.
By Times Special

By ItmeS Special
CHICAGO, Sept. 16-Fresh from
three straight victories over the
worlds champion st. Louis Cardi-
nails, New York's Giants invaded
Wrigley Field today to open a four
game series with the pace-setting
Chicago Cubs.
While the New Workers we're wal
Looping Dizzy Dean and the Cards,
7 to 8, before a record crowd of
$4,000 at st. Louis yesterday, the
Cubs we're hanging up their twen-
tieth victory in "a starts, including
the last II in a row, by trouncing
Brooklyn, to 3.
This showed Charley Grimm S
Bruins out in front with a two
game edge over st. Louis and a three
and one-half game margin over the
Giants.
The Chicago-New York series may
decide the 1885 pennant winner in
the National League. Both clubs
and Stt-.IesiS have lost So games
each, tut the Cubs have won more
than their two rivals. After finish
ing the series there. Chicago plays
two games with Pittsburgh, and
then moves to st. Louis to close
the season in five struggles with the
Cards.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1935-09-16

Fred Hessmer, vice president Of
the German War Veterans, de-
clared that his organization
wanted to work for international
understanding and said he would
like to see the time when all vet
Grams of the last war were re-
united in friendship.
Former Senator Arthur R. Rob-
inson pictured Hitler as the bull
wark that saved Western civiliza-
ton from a Communistic invasion.
.
CHARGING that 532 men, the
~ Congress and President Will
son had forced America into the
last war, Senator Robinson said:
I'VE should see now that those
in authority in our government
don't stampede us into another
conflict. Remember, the men
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1935-09-16

them. All refused but Robert Ed
wards, II, who consented to climb
into the fire box.
He lifted the CRATES and freed
Mr.. Rose. who was dragged to
safety by the police rescue squad
which had arrived by that time.
No sooner had Mr.. Rose been
rescued than his rescuer collapsed
inside the fire box.
He was rescued after some trou-
BILE by rescue squad members. Mr..
Rose, who was in a serious con-
dition, was sent to City Hospital.
The Edwards youth, son of Mr..
and Mrs. William A. Edwards Jr.,
$40 Middle-dr, was revived with
out use of the pulmotor
Gas from water heater, whose
chimney connected with the main
flue of the furnace, was response
BILE for the accidents.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1935-09-16
Times Index

who make the wars don't fight
them"
Other speakers we're y. NJ. Arm
strong, former Indiana depart
ment commander Of the American
Legion; Charles r. Michaels. past
department commander Of the
Veterans of Foreign Wars and
James Mangus, past post com-
mander of the United Spanish
War Veterans.
They talked of international
unity and told the newly formed
German organization that it could
expect help and encouragement
from the American veterans.
At twilight most of the veterans
became silent. Perhaps IN the
shadows of the dell they could see
other figures touch faded caps of
khaki and gray-and smile a little.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1935-09-16


Andy Rose, so, who is believed
to live in the 4100 block E. 21st-
st, was working on his back under
the ash CRATE Of the furnace in
the basement of the home of Mrs.
William Bates, 756 Middle DIR,
Woodruff Place.
He complained of gas fumes
and began to work his way out.
Before he could get clear, he lost
consciousness. When Lewis Digges,
80. his helper, attempted to pull
him the rest of the way out,
however, he discovered that Mr..
Roses elbows were spread in such
a fashion as TO make the rescue
impossible.
MIR. DIGGESA raced upstairs
wi and summoned Mrs. Bates.
Together they dashed outside and
asked several Tech pupils to help
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1935-09-16

Then DR.. Townsend took good
grip on the rabbits foot in his left
trOuSer pocket and said:
Gentlemen, 1 believe we will have
to draw support from the member
ship of both old parties. Here it
will be Republicans. In the deep
South it will be Democrats"
Every one said that was so.
"BOrah-Td Like Him"
"A year from this November" he
went on in a measured voice. we
will have to put a party into the
field. We will head it with, perhaps,
an old guard Republican for Presi-
dent. and fine, young fiery Demo-
crat for vice president"
Every one said that was so, too.
Or" he said as he toyed with the
idea. we will head it with some
young Democrat, and have an older
Republican to be Vice President.
That man Borah, now, has been
mentioned. I don't know whether
We could get him. And I'd like to
have a good Carter Glass Demo-
crat figure in our plans"
He's Superstitious, Too
Some one reminded DR.. Townsend
that is was train time. He is Chi
cago bound. DR.. Townsend took
the rabbits foot from his pocket
and fingered it. 1t is black.
1t was killed in the dark of the
moon, too" he said, with a smile.
But I wouldn't like to have the
general public know I am super
stitiouS.'
And DR.. Townsend pointed
lean, almost gaunt, face down |,
hallway and prepared to leave :
dianapolis where. he declared ae
had been gratifed at the evidence.
shown in yesterdays mass meeting
of 10000 at the Indiana State Fair
ground, of Indiana's support of his
pension plan.
Urges Friendly Congress
AT yesterdays meeting, when he
was called TO the roS.rum spon-
taneously before he was scheduled,
DR.. Townsend dwelt at length on
his plan to see TO it that the next
Congress is friendly to his plan.
DR.. Townsend bitterly attacked
New Deal leaders, because they
know nothing of poverty" and
charged that millions of public
works funds benefit only the big
contractors.
A calm. deliberate speaker, capa-
BILE of inspiring an audience with
out THEATRES, the doctor took a So
minute interval to explain his pen
sion plan and label it the one. COM
mon sense method of salvaging a
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1935-09-16

an English prisoner who gave him
a shaving outfit that he uses to
this day. He served on five fronts
and was wounded three times.
During the afternoon, James
w. Motbey, who served with the
colorful English Bedfords4-
Regiment, and Richard Kotteritz,
a former German marine. discov-
cred that they had fought in the
same sectors in France for four
years.
Thu Liederkranz. under the di-
rection of Fritz Krull, sang sew
eral German songs and later the
German and American veterans
got together and co-operated on
Sweet Adeline." Die LuStigen
Rheinlander also played and sang
old German songs.
In introducing the speakers,