Evening star., 1935-10-10

boy and girl Now IL years
- later we find that we are
completely out Of love with each other
and that there is little congeniality
between us. Neither one Of us would
now select the other for a mate. If
there we're no children and we had only
ourselves to consider we would not
hesitate to part, but we have given
hostages to fortune. We have two
splendid children who are just COM
ing to the age when they most need
a home and a mother and a father,
and we do not feel that we have
right to take our happiness at their
expense. Besides, we both adore our
children. Can two people situated as
we are make even q near success of
marriage? MABEL.
Answer-Undoubtedly you can. In
telligence is Just as much a factor in
making a successful marriage as love
is. Perhaps, indeed, it goes farther in
making a happy marriage than love
does because the more emotional
man and woman are the more prone
are they to jealousies and Quarrels and
unreasons and the various tempera-
mental qualities that are thrilling at
moments, but uncomfortable for daily
companionship.
IN PROOF of this, you have only
to observe that in this country
fav lrrya olnpn lood
the world in divorce. whereas divorce
is relatively rare in those countries
where the marriage of convenience OBJ
tains and where men and women
marry on a basis Of mutual interest
and respect and where they live happy
and contented lives making a home
and rearing family.
Perhaps such marriages lack the
glory and the circling wings that the
love match possesses, at least in its
beginning, but it has a solidity about
it that endures often long after the
glory OF the love match has faded and
its wings have been crumbled and
broken and swept into the dust bin.
For the husband and wife who are not
wildly in love with each other do not
expect too much Of each other. They
do not demand too much of each
other. They are less tyrannical and
more willing to live and let live.
Hence, they are far less apt to get on
each others nerves and far more able
to get along peaceably together.
After all, romantic love seldom out
lives the honeymoon. Commonplace
people in a commonplace world can
not long thrill over each other and
palpitate at the sound of each others
footsteps. Most husbands and wives
cease to be lovers and settle down into
being friends. and that is a very beau
tiful and comfortable relationship.
II + i +
THAT is what you and your husband
= can make of your marriage if you
| will. A friendship. A partnership
out of which you can both get great
happiness if you will make an intelli-
gent effort to do so. Nor is this as
difficult as 1t sounds. You have only
to take as much trouble to make your
selves agreeable to each other as you
would make to attract any stranger.
To begin with you have a common
interest in your children that tnsen-
sibly draws you together. Your domi-
nant desire is to make them happy and
to rear them into being fine men.
There is nobody else in the world who
feels toward them as you do, nobody
who will listen while you tell Of the
| clever things James has said and what
good marks Freddie got in school. The
man and woman who have bent over
q cradle together and watched over a
sick baby. and taught toddler to
walk have a tie between them that
nothing can ever really break.
A S FOR getting along harmoniously
together that is simply a mat
| ter of volition. There is no use in
saying that you can't be on your P's
and Q's and watch your tongues with
the members of your own household
We can do it just as easily with them
as we can with strangers. and every
one Of us mind our manners with those
we desire to propitiate.
The doctors and the lawyers and
the merchants do not tell their women
clients and customers that they are
fussy nitwits and unreasonable. and
that they don't know what they are
talking about. The women in busi-
ness who have good jobs don't talk
q n @ 11