The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1935-12-05

steps while the trOu- ss
sers are taking one. W S3
It's as though Slim
Summerville swiped eexal@
my things and was try s IN
Ing to escape with the
goods on. shall not
follow the royal exam SS$ S$
pie. AS Snappy VIZ
dresser I never seem ss&#
to get anywhere, some z as|
how. George AIDE once
said no matter what / irwin S. Cobb.
put on I still looked
like Paducah, KY, and when / read
what the well-dressed man will wear
sorrOwfully admit there's nothing
correct about me except my back col
lar button and I'm not so sure about
that. It's one of those plain bone ones
nothing flashy.
SO shall continue to stick to the
garments enclosing me at the moment.
They are, as you might say, my pre-
depression pants. In youth they shell
tered me; I'll not desert them now.
Besides, might be arrested.
Hollywood Hermits.
IF YOU'VE been to Movieland, you've
l. seen our fur-bearing hermits. AS
true recluses, these gentlemen have
the innate desire to avoid being con-
spicuous, which is ever characteristic
nf hn
principal streets all day, with their
long hair and their ditto whiskers
waving In the climate, and wearing as
few clothes as the law allOws-and
out here we allow few indeed.
There is a single member of the
group who's different. He's just as
woolly as the others, but he doesn't
parade up and down. Nor will he tell
you his name or the address of his
cave, or where he came from or where
he's going. Some think he has a secret
past. But think he has great ambi-
ton.
It's my idea he wants to go down
in history as the one who was not
commissioned colonel on the staff Of
the governor of Kentucky.
The Legacy of Youth.
IN THE brave days before '28 the
L future of an ambitious young grad
uate was assured. He sold bonds
Statistics show there was a salesman
for every bond. Shortly thereafter, any
fellow who owned bond was his own
salesman.
I still have some very beautiful ones
which I'd like to swap for pair Of
moss-agate cuff buttons, ukulele, a
collection IF postage stamps or what
have you?
Then followed the dreary years when
the youth with diploma had nowhere
to head in-desperate, hopeless years.
But now-now he needn't worry any
more about a career It's all fixed. He
can step out of college right into a
CCC camp.
1 am acknowledging to be funny
over a most grim tragedy. 1t doesn't
matter about our generation. the mad
architects of this disaster. We're too
numbed by blows, some Of us, to start
over; too old, some of us, even to
try; too stupid to admit that, by fu-
tile war, by speculation, by crazed
extravaganza, we laid this burden upon
our children and our children's chill
dren.
We have sowed in folly; they must
reap the bitter grain.
The Return of Prosperity.
GOOD times are certainly coming
~ back-at least to the fur business.
/ hear prices are so high that only the
Weather minks can afford their own
skins; the rest of them will go through
the winter wearing dyed rabbit.
l went to party and nearly every
woman there was up to her ears in
ermine or chinchilla or silver fox or
some other very exclusive peltry.
There was one large lady who had on
at least three kinds of expensive wild
animals. If somebody had left the door
open, her wrap would have stolen right
back to the zoo.
It's fine prosperity is returning.
Wouldn't 1t be grand If, instead of be-
ing visited on a favored few, 1t could
be passed around?
Grooming to Oysters.
THE professional crooner has found
L his musical soul-mate. It's our ia
nous Pacific coast bi-valve, that win
some creature which is about the size
of a suspender button.
A Seattle judge experimental on the
harmonic affinities Of shell fish. He
didn't get anywhere with the clam,
clans being proverbially dumb, but,
working on our cunning little native
oyster, he first established its natural
vibration, then found note to CORE
spond. Do that, and an oyster opens
right up.
"They open easiest" says the dis
coverer, when crooners are perform
ing"
Now let's establish what form Of
animal life responds spiritually to
columnist.
IRWIN S. COBB
G North American Newspaper Alliance.
Inc.-WNU Service.
Cowbirds
CouhirdS NAV ha soon ctrutfino