The Coolidge examiner., 1935-12-06
To Lose Is to Win
By HAL G. VERMES
q Mcclure Newspaper Syndicate.
WNU Service.
TIP UNTIL that time Pm always

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asks him to name the cluck in the
third that will sure kiss the eighth
pole. McMork introduces me to
Diamond Lou and then Diamond
calls over his missus and knocks us
down. can see without my glasses
she Is a beautiful blond filly that L
figure would weigh in on the light
side of a hundred and ten. She's
stalker all right and l know from
the way Diamond Lou smiles all
over her that he worked hard to get
her in his stable.
While 1 ought to know better,
when look into her blue glimmers
l wish I could forget that 1 got
missus myself who was fOaled 40
years ago; though / got to admit
she don't look it, what with the
wonderful art work the beauty spe-
cialists can do nowadays.
"Well," says l to Diamond Lou,
eff you're set on backing losers, you
come to the right man in Mudder
McMork because he can pick all the
also-rans with both hands tied"
"Sh-h-h!" says Diamond Lou,
swapping a glimmer toward his mis-
sus. "Why, Mr.. McMork has been
highly recommended to me as the
best figure man in Florida and 1
would very much appreciate some
of his professional advice"
When he spills that 1 open my
mouth and forget to shut it.
Gentlemen" Diamond Lou adds,
'the little wife and me is looking
for the straight stuff on the stalker
what will walk away with the third
race"
"Why," l states, Everybody
knows who the favorite is. All you
got to do is watch the totals on the
machine. The heavy money in the
third is placed on"
"Just then Mudder McMOrk steps
on my favorite corn and l would Of
forgot my manners except for Dia-
mond LOUIS blond filly in there.
pardon me-" says Diamond Lou,
grabbing the missus. Il got to park
the wife in the stand and make her
comfortable. But 1 will be back,
gentlemen, at which time I will ac-
cept your kind advices in conf
dence."
I'm sorry to see the little lady go
because she rests my eyes. But I'm
glad, too. because now / can speak
freely to Mudder McMOrk.
You're a cluck," he says. when
Pm all out of breath. Diamond
Lou, like I told you before, don't
want to win him any barrel of cher
ries today or never"
All of which don't sound like
sense to me, but coming from Nc
Mork. expect it. When Diamond
Lou gets back again l asks him
what.
'Diamond." I say, "Mudder Nc
MOrk called me q cluck. which COM
ing from him is compliment. Just
the same | am crazy to know II |
am crazy. Before | make the pleas
ure Of your acquaintance. Mudder
tells me that 1t positively kills you
with happiness to burn up q chunk
on badge horse. And then you
wants to know how can you sure
clean up barrel Of cherries In the
third. So I am wild to know Is this
a system?"
Mudder McMOrk busts out laugh
ing and Diamond Lou chOrtleS and
says: II am giving you the straight
goods now! I cannot afford not TO
lose. With me l got to drop my
cherries everywhere or l am an un-
happy man forever"
THAT ought to be simple" l re-
lates to him. "Why. I can drop my
dinerO all over the circuits without
half trying"
"YOu think" explains Diamond
Lou to me, "that it is easy to lose
because you're always trying to
win. But losing all the time is
plenty harder than winning. Why,
in this fascinating business, even II
I pick a platter with perfect rec
ord as a run-Out horse, you can't
sometimes never tell but the rest
Of the field will lay down and die
and my plug cops the kitty. That I
cannot let happen to me never"
Il still don't know from nothing"
I says.
ut Is my beautiful little wife"
states Diamond Lou, what makes
this difficult state of affairs. l
meet her last year and falls for her
right off forever. She knows I got
heavy sugar, which helps n lot, but
she says she cannot tie up with me
because I am a turtle from way
back and she will never marry a
man who follows the bang-tails."
Diamond Lou looks very sad for
a minute. "This goes on many
weeks" he continues, "and I am
dying from the love bug. SO what
to do? I finally swears that I will
give up all business with the turf
if she will trOt into my stable for
life. Therefore, we are married and
live happily ever after"
But" l inquiries of Diamond