The Washington times., 1935-11-04
NOW
Poor Mr.. BOWerS
Stands Gdff!
DOG IN WELL
By HELEN ESsARY

I understand there is not one
mean word about anybody in it.
It's no Autobiography OF
Peck's Bad Boy"
Which makes it nice change
Observation-Disclosures!
I wish Mr.. Roosevelt wouldn't
leave the White House so Often
Mr.. Taft used to go away from
Washington every few weeks, and
see what happened to HIM.
They made him Chief Justice
of the Supreme Court.
You couldn't exactly put a
Roosevelt back in the horse
and buggy era" Sol wish Mr.
Roosevelt would stay home q
while.
You are likely to read any
where, nowadays, something like
this:
"The utterly fascinating Mrs
Riproar Kumquat tilted her
quaint little hat over one beautl'
full eye with just that subtle in
timAtion of diabolierie that q
smart hat needs this season, and
hurried off to luncheon with
later a whirl of committee meet.
ings and gay apsritif parties" ."
But-here'S the truth! ,
Mrs. Riproar Kumquat looked
at her cockeyed hat with the
oh-whatthe-hell expression. De
cided she wasn't up to its init
nations. Not this morning.
Reached for her rundown sailor
from last season. Clamped 1t
over her brow.
"And went to market"
The truth is usually a let
down. Ask Claude Bowers, the
United States Ambassador to
Spain.
Mr., Bowers, ever an enthusias
tic and vocal Democrat, made a
speech in New York the other
night that brought in dozens OF
approving morning after tele'
phone calls to his stage man
ager.
Mr.. Bowers happened in the
managers office just as the tele'
phone was ringing. The man
ager said, beaming:
I'm certain, Mr.. Bowers, this
call is going to be another OF
those songs of praise. Listen In
on the telephone extension. And
hear what people think about
you"
Mr.. Bowers listened and heard: !:
"Say, that speech last night
was one of the best I ever heard.
But that little sawed-off guy
who made it-Gawd, wasn't ne
ugly!"
Another conversation.
"How-do-you Mr.. Farley. How
are you?"
Couldn't be better. Still have
got a little too much to DO. All
I need in life is more time. But
time or not, remember this:
"You can't beat Somebody with
Nobody"
We have a new police puppy
in our family.
The puppy's name, I regret to
say, is Daisy.
Daisy's mother Queenie is ar
intelligent and reliable animal
But Daisy, fear is going to take
after her father. light-hearteo
gallant.
Last night while Daisy was be
ing trained to stay out doors we
heard more than her usual ylp
pings and Whines. Moreover hel
yrrups seemed to be coming from
a new and distant direction.
How nice, we thought. Daisy
has gone to spend the night with
her good mother who lives around
the corner.
Soon, however, came the excited
barking of Queenie directly under
my bedroom window.
It was then midnight. And II
would have been pleasant to ig
more the canine disorder. But
Queenie's barks grew louder ano
more determined.
Phyllis, coming in with the
Young Man of the Moment, found
Queenie charging noisily about
on the lawn. Queenie promptly
took a corner of Phyllis coat be
tween her teeth. Firmly led the
way down the front steps. Anc
up the street to a sort of well
built around the roots of an oak
tree.
At the deep, dark bottom of the
well, about five feet down, seer
by the flicker of a cigarette
lighter, was Daisy.
The Young Man of the Moment
got a ladder and two candles
Climbed uncertainty down tht
well. Got Daisy and handed hel
up, still frisky.
Queenie led the joyful process
sion home. AS I said before
Queenie is a fine character. Mos
mothers who had borne as many
children as Queenie has 40 since
have known herr would be glac
if one child fell down a well. Anc
stayed there.
Society Is Planning