Evening star., 1935-06-11

does a married daughter owe
to her mother? Should she
~ have to consult her mother
about everything she does
and get mothers o. K. on 1t before she
goes ahead with her plans? Should
the daughter put her mothers wishes
before her husbands and her family's?
Should the daughter put her mothers
authority above her husbands? Is the
daughter unfaithful and unapprecia-
tive II she does not do all her demand
ing mother wants? Why can't mothers
let their daughters, who are trying to
be good wives and mothers themselves,
alone and permit them to live their
own lives and love their husbands as
much as they want to, instead Of
Sneering at them about their affection
for their husbands?
Answer-It Is the custom to pic
ture mothers as self-abnegating angels
whose only thought and desire In life
is for the good and happiness Of their
children.
TT GENERALLY happens that way.
Most mothers are self sacrificing
where their children are concerned,
but not all. There are plenty of moth
ers who are monsters of selfishneSs,
who ruthlessly offer up their children's S
happiness and well-being to their own
comfort and pleasure. There are
plenty Of mothers who keep their chill
dren from marrying because they can
not bear to give them up, and many
other mothers who deliberately break
up their children's homes If they do
marry, because they cannot endure
the thought that their sons and daugh-
ters love any one else better than they
do them.
once heard a mother say: Talk
about jealousy ! tell you there Is no
other jealousy In the world that can
20 tear the heart to tatters as that Of a
mother who sees her child put a hus-
band or wife before her. The jealousy
Of q woman for a man is nothing
compared to that"
TT Is that sort Of morbid, unnatural,
unwholesome jealousy that makes
mother sneer at her daughters love
for her husband, that makes a mother
always pick on" her Son-in-law and
call her daughters attention to all of
her husbands faults and peculiarities,
that makes a mother sow the seeds Of
suspicion Of her husband in her
daughters mind.
For a mother to torture her daugh-
ter or even to murder her would not
be crueler act nor q greater crime,
yet so consuming passion is mother
jealousy that many women are guilty
Of it.
A 8 TO what duty married daugh-
"A ter owes her mother. that depends
on circumstances. She owes her a
home If the mother is poor. She owes
her patience and consideration. She
owes her respect and Difference. But
she only owes this debt II her mother
has earned it.
Just because woman has borne
child does not make 1t her slave, nor
does 1t give her the right to dispose
Of its life or wreck its happiness for
her own behoof and benefit. Parents
have to win their children's love and
respect by their conduct toward them
Just as much as any stranger does.
A FTER q woman is married her
\ duty is to her husband and her
children before her mother, and if
she finds that her mother diSrupts all
the peace and happiness Of her home
by her querulousness, by her fault
finding and petty tyrannies she should,
IL possible, arrange for mother to live
somewhere else than under her own
roof. Nor is it any middle-aged wom-
ans duty to obey her mother as if she
we're a child. Times have changed.
The customs that mother thinks should
be religiouSly followed have become
obsolete. Mothers ideas and tastes
have been superseded by modern and
better ones. And there is no sense in
a whole family having to conform to
the fancieS of an old woman.
It Is q pity that mothers do not
realize that they write their own price
tag with their children and that when
they are good mothers, when they are
unselfish and wise and tender, the
question of their children's duty to
them is never raised. Their children'S
devotion Is spontaneous tribute to
| them. DOROTHY DIX.
\ y X
NEAR DOROTHY DIX: What argu-
ment should be used to con-
vince a mother that she Is making a
great mistake in permitting her IT.
year-old daughter to marry? The girl
is q mere infant still IN high school.
She knows nothing about running a
house and is not prepared In any way
for the responsibilities of married
life. The prospective husband is not
much older. Aren't the chances for