The Waterbury Democrat., 1935-12-12
In New York
New York, Dec. 12
Q mMA-

North Pole. My Dear MT. Santa Claus:
 I can still get 8 kick out Of an electric train, of course, but to fill the hearth with columnar joy, to make this the merrieSt Yuletide, could you and would you, without straining the reindeer or upsetting the sleigh, fill my yawning Christ mas stocking with these? ...
 A Broadway first night without guerilla gangs of autograph hounds stampeding over my feet. A night club where the tables are at least one size larger than two by two. A movie not advertised ah "the Most Collosal, Stupen- dous, Terrific, Emotional Picture Ever Filmed" An English &C., tress who does not say, T think New York is wonderful" before she has stepped off the boat.
 A couple of songs sung by Sophie Tucker. An answer of "Yes'' or "No" from Katharine Hepburn when reporters ask her if she's married. A hill-billy who halls from a little farther distance than Grand Concourse, the Bronx. A Broadway play in which two women aren't always chasing the same man or in which two men aren't always chasing the same woman. A new groom for Peggy Hopkins Joyce so we won't go daft. guessing about the next lucky CD man. A new coiffure for curly-locks Rudy Vallee. Some new wisecracks that won't auto- matically be credited to Dorothy Parker. Paul Whiteman's plum ed head-gear in Jumbo"
 These, Too
 Or is this asking too much, Mir. Claus? Fact is, haven't start ed yet. If you're not too heav- fly loaded down, you might also bring along 8 show which be- gins at 8:30 when it's supposed to begin at 8:30 instead of one that stalls for an hour. A radio basso without Wagon Wheels" in his repertoire. Some new un-smoked glasses to be forwarded to Greta Garbo. A strict ban on piccolo players. A female mimic who can do something else besides inl- personating Garbo, Dietrich, Hep burn and Zasu Pitts A male mimic who can do something else besides grooming like Vallee and Crosby.
 Also These
 What a Christmas this would be if Barbara Hutton just de- cided to settle dowr. somewhere .. If italy gave up playing hide and seek in Ethiopia I'm Mrs. s. Stanwood Menken took the thousands she squanders on pea cock feather costumes for a ball and devoted the dough to charity If Tallulah 3ankhead could find a show worthy of her talents And if Helen Morgan could only have hung around here in- stead of ducking off to Hollywood to play in Show Boat"
 Your move, Santa.
 What else? Let me see. Oh, yes, a command concert by Har- DO Marx on the harp, at which he is a master. A plaque, on the playhouse to be built in memory of David .Belasco, the theater's greatest snowman. A plague up- on the pavement speculators who haunt the outside of a playhouse and charge plenty for tickets to a hit show. A fig leaf for Sally Rand. An orang -outang playmate for Johnnie Weismuller. And a holly wreath for Leslie Howard. who shares his working time equally between Broadway and Hollywood.
 Also a ballroom dancing couple that does not behave like a per- feet pair of lovers out on the dance floor and then proceed to battle to the death in the dress ing room. A night club proprie- tor who does not get stymied with any word above two syllables. A slight effort to enforce the curfew laws (for the sake, at least, of sleepless columnists). A stage role for Mrs. Jimmy Walker (Betty Compton, that will induce her to return to Broadway.
 Trustin, MT. Claus, that you can fill my modest order, l re- main,
 Yours for Q Merry Xmas. -cRoRGE ROSE.