Evening star., 1935-09-14


sire most in the world is to
be refined and cultured.
- Must one be the finished
product of a polishing school, or does
poor girl really have a chance to be
an aristocrat? would much rather
people would say when they saw me,
Isn't she refined" meaning that ]
looked and acted and was refined
rather than to say Of me, Isn't she
pretty" Isn't she young" Isn't she
cute?" What is a real lady these
days? Does she exist? If so, is she
appreciated, wanted? Believe me. ]
would be so grateful for Just start
How do go about getting what ]
want? How can be truly lady?
TWENTY THREE.
Answer-To be an aristocrat in the
true meaning of the term you have
to be born one. Or else you have to
have enough money to buy into the
sacred class. But even then you are
not the real thing. You are still an
outsider merely tolerated for your
check book.
r But any girl can become lady, and
she can be refined and cultured, so
you can have the best part of your
wish If you have the courage and the
industry to work and deny yourself in
order to realize your desire.
Xxx
TN A case like yours it seems to me
= that the best thing you can do is
to pick out some woman who comes
up to your ideal Of what you would
like to be and copy her as well ds you
can. II she Is q woman of refinement,
you will observe that she never makes
herself conspicuous. She never wears
loud Or flashy clothes. nor extreme
styles.
She Is always well groomed, well
dressed and her clothes seem to be-
long to her because they are the color
and cut along the lines that suit her
best, but they never ballyhoo their
presence. She doesn't bleach her nair
nor dye 1t nor cut it into fantastic
bobs because some movie actress is a
platinum blond or a redhead. and she
is never diked out in glittering near
Jewels. Nor is her face so plastered
up with cosmetics that she looks like
a newly painted barn.
You will notice that your woman of
refinement speaks in a low, quiet
voice. She never shouts. She never
indulges in noisy laughter. She never
screams to people across q room. She
never calls attention to herself In any
public place. She never argues, never
makes scenes, never bawls out waiter
who spills something on her at a
table Or a taxi driver who Is imperu
nent.
She is always courteous, dignifled
and gentle in her manner. You will
never hear your refined woman tell a
dirty story or indulge in a smutty
wisecrack. If others do so in her
presence, she does not reprove them.
She merely listens with a blank face
as If she did not understand, and
there are few who have the hardihood
to explain dirty joke to a clean
minded woman.
n n r
ID EFINEMENT begins in your own
~ soul. Think pure thoughts. Dress
modestly. Keep quiet. Go with re-
fined people. Speak gently. And you
will acquire the reputation you desire
of being considered refined.
Culture Is a matter of education, of
reading, of study. If you have to work
in the day, 60 to night school. Attend
lectures instead of going out on par
ties. Listen to good music on the radio
instead of Jazz. And read, read, read.
Every library is the open door to cul-
ture that you may have as you will.
OF course, there are Just as many
ladies now as there ever were, and the
same qualities go to make lady as
they have since the world began.
Money has nothing to do with being a
lady. There are plenty of millionair-
esses who do not possess single trait
of ladyhood. Nor is education abso-
lutely essential to being lady. One
of the finest ladies I ever knew was 8
washerwoman who could neither read
nor write.
A lady is a woman who has poise
and self control, who has understand
ing and sympathy, who is neither cast
down by misfortune nor uplifted by
prosperity, who Is q little bit more
courteous to those below her than she
Is to those above her, who has dignity
without arrogance and who neither
kowtows to the great nor suubs the