davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1934-04-04
No Sense Of Fun

nNE night we are in Peoria. That's back in the
~ days when I the star pitcher of the Three
III League. A bunch of us sitting around in the
back room of Oscars place.
Apropos of practically nothing. some one re-
marks: Il see by the papers they won't even let
that fellow insult land in Turkey"
And some one else cracks: L seems to me that
that's adding insult to injury
Do you think for moment that Mr. Schopen-
hauer laughed? You know what he does? He turns
to the waiter and says in his pessmstic philosophi
cal way: Time and tide wait for man"
Many critics of the social scheme have attempted
to ascribe the subsequent rise in divorces and de-
in the birth rate to this remark but personal
y always have felt that fellow is a sucker to eat
pompanO anywhere but in Florida.
And this reminds me-did you ever have black
eye? l can attest that a black eye is very easy to
get. There is something quite democratic about a,
black eye, too black eye looks just as conspicuous
on a Morgan mug.
There are many ways to get black eye. Appar
emily the most approved way is to forget to duck.
imagine that that is also the most satisfactory
way. If nothing else it suggests certain amount of
gallantry vigor and sef-reliance
At the moment I toting around black eye
the first it has been my good fortune to sponsor.
oh, so you bumped into door, Ell? Don't give
me that line. What happened to the other guy?"
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1934-04-04

4l1GO Vic dI CID.
Beatty will meet Sammy there,
with the iron door of the cage
closed. Sammy is a 5O0-pound
lion. with teeth the size of a
mans fingers, and his tawny
paws, big as flatirons, are studded
with rake-like claws. Beatty
weighs 1876 pounds with his boots
on, and his armor will consist of
a kitchen chair, whip and an
iron nerve.
DEATTY has been planning the
ID showdown ever since that day
in Cleveland a month or two ago
when Sammy, up until then a
law-abiding member of the big cat
act, sprang from his perch and
sank his teeth in the throat of a
lioness. Beatty and his rousta-
bouts pounded Sammy across the
head with a club. They yanked
at him with cruel steel hooks.
They turned a fire hose on him.
But not until the lioness was dead
did Sammy loosen his grip.
He was removed from the act
and placed in solitary" He's
teen there ever since. Today
Beatty will find out if what he
fears is true-that Sammy has
turned killer.
He acts like a killer" Beatty
said. There's no play in him any
more. Not even mean, hateful cat
play. When I walk along the
cages where my cats are quartered,
all of them but one growls or
tries to slap at me when 1 pass.
The exception is Sammy. He never
makes sound any more. He just
stands there with a smoldering
fire in his eyes, and Stares at me.
Even when I snap my fingers close
up against the bars, or punch him
with my cane, he refuses to move
or growl. Just stands there and
glares. It sorta gets you"
Beatty does not pose as a man
who knows no fear. He readily ad-
mits that the business of getting
in cage with thirty or so lions
ana panthers is a tough way to
earn living.
I'D be the last one to say that
handling those cats doesn't shake
me a little" he told me. I'm
nervous as the devil for an hour
or more after every performance.
I don't think it's the sort of thing
a man could do long time. It
takes too much out of you. A lot
too much
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1934-04-04
FRANCE FACING POLITICAL CHAOS
Stazky Scandal Has Stimulated Demand for Ne7v Basic La7C
BY MORRIS GILBERT
SEA Service staff Correspondent

DARIS April Constitution of the Third Republic
provides method of appealing to the people Of
method for the president
approval Of the dissolve the chamber deputies
call for general election.
only then improperly.
when Maahon president in 1877 after fighting with the ministry
of the appointed another ministry
then dissolved the chamber
people of Immediately back by eecing the
kind Of chamber Otherwise it believed there would have
a MacNIahon would
approved.
result this mbroglo in 1877 been make practically
procedure other president
during all the years of the Third Republic.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1934-04-04

when Cocktail Hour was lit
tie more than twinkle in the
producers eye, Miss Samuels set
about to get tap dancer.
Gentlemen, I've got q tap
dancer crooned Miss Samuels
after she took one look at Eleanor
Whitney, a youngster. This one
starts where most others leave off.
She's got it, rhythm and all. Taps
till you can't keep up with them
And newspaper critics who have
seen Miss Whitney lay the taps
on the maple boards OF stage
aprons say Miss Samuels knows
what she's talking about.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1934-04-04

WITH the machine gun, the
hypodermic and the opium lay
out.
The mere possession Of so
much as one wooden golf peg
would be sufficient evidence to
convict the accused of an intent
to commit first degree golf.
Moreover, if I could have nv
way, all such characters as Gene
Sarazen, Tommy Armour and
Paul Runyan would be slung
into some Jail house as incor-
rlgible enemies of the peace and
morals of the people and kept
there. The way to wipe out golf
is to wipe cut golf and it never
can be destroyed as long as
there are professionals going
around giving seductive exhibit
tions of things which positively {
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1934-04-04
governmental refOr be

violent attack on the government,
French people began to place con-
siderable credence in the desc
lated fathers tremendous accusa-
tions. The taxi driver in whose
cab Philippe's body had been
found brought suit against the
polemist, and Daudet was sem
fenced to five months in Jail.
II
TINE siege of the Action Fran
Il caise commenced. Camelots
kept off the police for several
days. At last one morning, Pre-
feet of Police Chiappe himself APP
peared in the street below, and
begged Daudet for the sake of
keeping the peace. Daudet, with
pompous reference to the need
to prevent civil war" did so, and
marched off to prison in triumph.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1934-04-04
.FUGITIVE'S PAL GETS
3 YEARS FOR THEFT
Alleged Companion of John Lay,
Who Fled Deputy, Sentenced.

Robert Ruff, alleged companion of
John Allen Lay. who wriggled free
from deputy of Sheriff Charles
BUCK Sumner last Friday, was
sentenced three to ten years in the
Indiana state reformatory today by
Criminal Judge Frank Baker.
Ruff and Lay were charged with
second degree burglary and petit
larceny in connection with the theft
of a SIS pistol from a store.
Police today were still searching
for Lay as Judge Baker continued
his trial.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1934-04-04
On View Here Today

INDIANAPOLIS theaters today
u offer: "Riptide." at Loew's Pal
ace; The Road to Ruin" at
Keith's; Dark Hazard" on the
screen and broadway Merry-Go-
Round" on the stage at the Lyric;
This Man Is Mine" and Man of
Two Worlds" at the Indiana;
George Whites Scandals at the
Apollo; Wonder Bar" at the
Circle. and burlesque at the Mu-
tual.
The present system of punctua'
ton was developed by Aldus Manu-
thus, an Italian printer and scholar
of the fifteenth century.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1934-04-04

Iel IN love WIFI iSI NliCll 44C
was so.
"(B) How a weakness is made
into a strength, with little men
becoming strong political rack
eteers, such as Napoleon, Dol
fuss, Hitler, etc.
go The greatest hymn of
hate against women was written
by Schopenhauer. E. Was it be-
cause he was a withered, ugly,
old thing whom women hated
and was this his revenge?"
I am very glad Correspondent
Weiner brought these vital sub
iects to my attention. It proves
what I always have maintained,
that this is no time for frivolity,
irreverences or toasted sweet
t11notc
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1934-04-04
Clubs Not Suited

ME golf companies were very brutal about it all.
Il They constantly were holding out to the victim
the possibility that the beautiful and expensive clubs
which ne had given his loving wife the money to buy
him for Christmas not exactly suited to his par
tcular type. Instead of shafts with red handles he
ought to have handled shafts or if his wooden
clubs had beautiful inlays in the faces as pretty
as candy and as expensive as ieWelry. then he was
one of those rare specimens who could do best with
clubs having plain faces
That is another pathetic phase of the vice The
victim always is willing to believe that another set
OF golf tools will solve golf for him and he goes
through his wretched career suffering yearning and
spending more and more money like a hypochon-
drlac filling in the coupons and sending so cents
in cash or stamps for the medicine which finally is
going to make him well.
began to get tired of golf last year when &C
quired set of tools which were supposed to be
slice proof They had grips carved in the handles so
that 1t would be impossible to hold them wrong and
the shafts were Timber as buggy whips allowing the
club head to snap into the ball. This was supposed
to do something about the slice, too.
And the first time used them, my drive took off
into the wind, then banked sharply and came swoop-
ing right back to the tee like a tame bird
At that threw the clubs away. That is put
them away. don't want to throw them away until
L try out one more thing. have been wondering if
l haven't been standing too far back of the ball.
Copyright, 1884. by Unite Feature Syndicate Incl
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1934-04-04
Fair Enough
By
Westbrook PeqIer

NE sinister spectre of golf is beginning to wiggIs
= Its Shiny coils again and think I ought to warn
my fellow citizens that this game is mocker which
destroys character, preys on hope and makes men
Snarl at little boys and use bad language AS one
VINO used to struggle in its evil embrace but got
saved can say with authority that there is no good
IN golf and if could have my way the possession of
any golf utensils would be forbidden by law along
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1934-04-04
Be Brave About 1t

MO matter how you happened to get the black
L y eye, am convinced it is always smart to pre-
tend you we're in a brawl-a very vicious brawl-
and that you doing all right for yourself until
nine other guys rushed in and by sheer numbers
overwhelmed you.
That kind of explanation usually goes over.
The public sentiment is that nobody got black
eye accidentally. In this respect the public is
thing than flattering, and without meaning to
be so. In effect the public insists on garbng the
Black Eye Legion in warrior armor and flaming
spir1t-with the added implication, of course, that
you don't know how to hold your hands up.
For all that history tells us of the ruggedness of
the American race doubt that many men have ever
been in a situation where fist play was needed to
settle debate I mean to the question. How does
it feel to be in fight?" the answer in most cases
will be- i don't know l never have been in fight. )"
Even to the most ardent pacifist the thought must
come at times: What would I do if some geezer
walked up to me and Smacked me in the ksser?"
To me this is neither profane a rowdy
thought. 1t could happen. And suppose it did.
what then? Would you stand there and blink or
from meek peaceful person into a white collared
Dempsey. cunning for blood?
That happened to me only The taxi meter
read S145 All had S150. I said without con-
sciousy attempting evty, Keep the change" There
were words rs that so? Well, get down off of
that seat and say that The gentleman did.
There was a hedge in front of the house. When
I unscrambled myself the taxi was in motion.
Through the stiffness of the svered night I heard
the words Fresh guy" I still don't know how it
feels or what it does the soul, land a return
punch
Copyright 1884. by The
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1934-04-04
Ii Seems TO Ne
By
Joe Williams
Pinch Hitting for Hey1Cood Broun

Pinch HUNG for HeylrO0d BrONN
THE letter began: Don't you know the ones who
II read Haywood Brouns column very serious
intellectually who seek spiritual sustenance .
and the readers you get represent the difference
between bowling mob at prize fight and the
sedate studious people who listen to John Haynes
Holmes
Some suggestions followed Columns devoted to-;
"(A) The influence Of the 16-year old maid in
the life and literature Of Ibsen you know IbSen
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1934-04-04
SPRING HERE FOR SURE:
KIDS BATTLE IN NUDE
Youngsters Take Early Season Dip
in Eagle Greek.

The police department doesn't
pay much attention to calendars
and weather observers when there's
any question about when spring
really begins.
There's one infallible sign. Head
quarters received a call this after
noon that group of boys and girls
were swimming in the nude at Eagle
creek and the Pennsylvania rail-
road.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1934-04-04
Bolt Kills Two School Boys
By United Press

PITTSBURGH, April 1.-Two
Oliver high school boys on their
way to school were killed by a bolt
Of lightning today. The victims
were identified as Joseph Larocco,
i6s and Paul F. u1elman.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1934-04-04
That Boomerang Slice

MY trouble in golf was a boomerang slice which
4VA sometimes came back so far that after three
shots from the tee I would find myself on my own
goal line and compelled to punt In my line of work,
however, was meeting some of the most skillful or
sinister, instructors in the whole vile business and
would go to them, credulous and balmy addict for
help and solace in my difficulty.
That was the beginning of my salvation, although
1t took long time. One of them would say that
was holding the right hand too far under and show
me how to hold it over. then would go to the golf
place and hold the right hand way over and haul off
and hit myself the damndest slice ever witnessed by
the eye of man.
then would 60 to another pro who would move
the right hand back to the original position but to
compllcate matters would add something about the
aim of the left foot And keep the elbows this way
This went on for years until began to realize that
was struggling and petting in CHASTITY attempt to
do something which could not be done and like
thousands OF other victims around the country, was
paying my earnings to various medicine men who
disagreed on dogma and didn't want me to learn
anyhow because then would cease to be a customer
The golf companies were parties to the conspiracy
and regret to have to add that the noble profess
sion Of journalism allowed itself to be used in the
scheme, though with innocent intent. The profess
sion OF Journalism began to little daily instruc-
tons in the proper position of the right hand, the
aim OF the left foot and the way to hold the elbows
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1934-04-04
ENGEL PICTURES SHOWN
Quarry Lanscapes Among Paintings
y in Heron Exhibit.

The John Heron Art Institute is
showing an exhibit of recent paint
ings by Professor Harry Engel of the
Indiana university fine arts depart
ment. Included in the exhibit are
seevral quarry landscapes and por-
traits.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1934-04-04
BATTLE TO FINISH
Beatty, Killer to Haze ShOz0dO1Cn


NEW YORK, April 4.-some today bare black cage
~
q showdown with Sammy
will before the
who be
Gardens only witnesses will be
handle the
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1934-04-04

tons of things which positively can not be done and
selling instructions is a vice which has caused as
much woe as poverty ever did.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1934-04-04

Copyright. 1884. by The Times)
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1934-11-02

put their shoulder to the
wheel and help make the
money go round.
Wives who help bring home
the bacon, drive the car, man
age the budget and keep the
home running on all cylinders.
and still have time to be trim.
curled. charming and kissable.
The day has passed when a
man thought he had found a
bargain" if he got a wife who
could make a pie and keep the
buttons on his shirts. Also,
when a wife was merely a lot
of excess baggage for a man
to carry through life. Almost
any man can find a wife. to-
day, who is an asset instead
of a liability.
Of course, if a man PRE-
FERS an expensive luxury or
a drawing-room ornament, he
can find plenty Of charming
girls who will cheerfully fill the
bill. There are still plenty of
women. with a hangover from
the prosperity" decade who
are looking for a Santa Claus
or a meal ticket. There is still
the type of girl who wants a
husband who will keep her as
a pet and carry her through
life in a limousine. The world
will always be full Of gold
diggers and mollusks.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1934-11-02
Human Side of the News = By Edwin c. Hill

on record somewhere in some
stamp mill. Placer gold or some
rich blowout of chimney rock
could not have been marketed
without some trace of its origin.
There is never a trace Of infor-
nation about Scotty having
marketed any gold anywhere.
The story was nonSenSical from
the first.
LAS a millionaire, Scotty is an
in-and-outer. l have seen him
come stamping and roaring into
Tex Richards place. or the
Louvre or the Bank Exchange.
in Goldfield, bawling for drinks
for everybody in town and heav'
ing gold pieces at the lights:
then again I have seen him Ooze
in quietly at the end of the bar.
his SLOUGH hat down over his
eyes. caressing a quarter before
he Judged it out for a glass OF
beer.
"They built him up as two
gun man. That was hokum. I
have seen Scotty with gun in
his belt, but that was just a
concession to desert fashion.
He talked pretty big when he
had a few drinks, but, on the
whole, he was one Of the most
discreet of adventures. There
was a story that a peppery
little retired Venezuelan bandit
had messed him considerably
in Goldfield. 1 don't know
whether it was true or not.
GOT THEIR MONEY
"He never dressed up much.
I always saw him slouching
around in the same old washed
out blue duckin's. Trying to
get anything out of him was
like plugging country rock with
a tooth pick. He was the one
secretiVe man l ever knew.
lone of the first things he
did when he landed in Chicago
was to buy a diamond studded
collar for Old Pete, the dog.
You remember how he used to
90 to New York, put up at the
Astor and bet somebody $1,000
he could pick up a hair pin in
every block on the way down to
Twenty-third? Nobody knows
how much money he h a s
thrown away. I'm sure he
doesn't.
His Death Valley castle is
built of tiles and mosaics, with
tall towers, courts and patlos.
He has a pipe organ and II
master bedrooms, biz banquet
hall and a solarium. The patlos
are finished in red jasper.
There he is-alone, as he never
married.
Getting water to the place
was something like building
the Panama canal. Old Pete,
of course. is dead long ago, but
he has another mongrel. They
SQUAT in the doorway and If
they ever see anything alive it
is a buzzard high in the air, or
maybe a NANCY old Piute In
dian, passing far below.
"A firm of Los Angeles archi-
tects designed and built his
palace. All they know is that
they got their money"
Copyright. 1894. by King Features
Syndicate, Inc.)
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1934-11-02

One warm summer afternoon
in the year 1905 a big, untidy
cowboy Slouched into the Of
fices of the Santa Fe Railroad
in Los Angeles. There was
grease and alkali dust on his
old black sombrero. His faded
overalls, held up by something
that looked like a piece of an
old surcingle, were tucked into
his high-heeled boots on which
jingled rusty spurs. He needed
a shave and a haircut. His eyes
looked a bit blurry. With him
was an ill-conditioned mongrel
dog, scratching fleas.
II want to hire train to
get to Chicago. Fix me up
with something that can run
some"
I'VE can fix you up with a
nice train for just $780," said
the amused clerk.
The cowboy drew a roll OF
high-caliber bills thicker than
his arm. He counted out $500.
Before the clerk had regained
consciousness, the cowboy was
on his way, roaring through
the sagebrush with I" train all
his own. Whooping and below
ing and flourishing his battered
old hat, he stood on top Of the
head coach as the train thun-
dered into Chicago.
Old Pete, the dog, was there,
too, bowling like mad.
SECRET SOURCE
In the following % years
Death Valley Scotty has kept
on shoveling out money in his
own wild and fatuous way.
Where he got it is just as
much of a secret now as it was
then. Just now, he is trying
to get together with the Gov
eminent to see what's to be
done about his 100000 Moor
ish castle in Death Valley.
which, in error, he built on
Government ground.
Scotty always was careless
in tossing his valuables around.
and he planted his desert tepee
of jasper and jade just six
and one-half miles from the
claim he had Staked out.
Congressman Englebright OF
California put in a bill to
square it with the Govern
ment. But there are constitu-
tional barriers. A Congressional
committee ponders the problem.
Scotty, paunchy and double
chinned now, stands in the
Moorish doorway of his desert
Tai Mahal and surveys his
blasted empire - belched up
out of hell, it is trimmed by
the jagged Panamints sticking
up like the jaw of a wolf,
pocked with chaparral, bleary
old Starveling Joshua trees. tine
bristling bayonets of Mexican
soap weed, and white bones,
too, if you follow the burro
trail down toward Windy Gap.
There's an old sign there:
please wear a brass tag in
here with your name and ad.
dress on it. so your folks won't
have to pay expresSage on the
wrong bones"
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1934-11-02
Marry-GO-ROund
Blu Helen ROWland

But if any young man wants
a genuine bargain in a wife,
he will find the market as full
of them as the shop-counters
of bargains, after Christmas.
No, this is not propaganda
and I'm not trying to start a
matrimonial agency. It is just
my bunch! The struggles Of
the last five years have
brought out all the finest traits
in women. They have learned
to understand and sympathize
with men. They have learned
what it is to work in an office,
a shop or a kitchen all day,
and then lie awake half the
night worrying about the bills.
They have stopped whining for
luxuries and signing for square
cut diamonds, and begun look
ing for jobs and cheaper cuts.
What is a "bargain-wife"?
YOU ought to know! Any wife
is a bargain, who makes a mans
life easier, his burdens lighter
and helps him to keep UP his
spirits and to carry on, wheth-
er she holds down job, runs his
home or helps him in his profess
sional career. 1t all depends on
which kind of a bargain a man
WANTS.
But, so many assorted bar
gains to choose from, it seems
almost impossible for a man
with eyes wide open to get