davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1934-11-22
The Body Streamline
BIZ Robert Benchley

whole new layout, with
smarter lines and increased ef-
ficiency. I wouldn't even mind
shining a bit in the sunlight.
1t would be nice to have admir-
ing groups of connoisseurs
gather around when one was
left standing at the curb while
the Missus went in to do her
marketing. Don't think that
am impervious to the lure OF a
complete change in appearance.
But I do want to make sure
that the wrecking crews know
what they are doing before they
begin work. I don't want to get
all whitfield down and disas-
sembled and then have an argu-
ment arise over what to do
next. l want to see the blue
prints of what is going to hap
pen before I so much as remove
my vest, and I want a good
long talk with the man who is
going to do the job. I would
prefer it if he wasn't a drinking
man.
It may be inconvenient, and
not at all pretty, to be so oullt
that you have to lay your toot
across your knee in order to put
on your sock, or to be an unWel-
come third in the back seat OF
a bus, but it is better to be that
way than to find out, too late,
that your glands have been
started secreting on q Stream
line No. 4" model and are al
ready passing the mo. g.
margin, with the experts still in
conference on how to stop
them. I don't want to be SO
streamlined that, when I pull
into Grand Central, my feet Will
still be rounding the turn at
Harmon.
That is the trouble with liv-
ing in an age of transition and
experiment. We are the test
ers." We are given new breWs
of economics to taste, new
theories of medicine and new
brands of education. If we go
into convulsions, then they
know that they haven't quite
got it right yet.
Some day everything will be
just dandy everywhere, thanks
to us, but that lucky generation
will look back on our pictures
and say: Those old guys all
looked so worried! They
couldn't have taken very good
care of themselves"
In the meantime. I think I'll
let the Streamline Age pass me
by. If I can get down to ITS
and button my last years din
ner coat, I'll be satisfied.
Copyright. 1894, by King Features
Syndicate, lnc.)
Articles by Robert Benchley
appear each Monday, WedneS.
day and Thursday.
The Washington times., 1934-11-22

France again fears barricades
in the streets. Premier CASTOR
Doumergue's government is
overthroWn and errant and tu-
multuous political forces are
loosed. But from the dome
of the Invalides there still en-
anates a strange, steady ethe'
real blue light. I remember
seeing it years ago, in days of
tense unease in Paris, and
thinking then that Napoleon
and all his deeds. for good or
ill, were woven forever into the
very fabric of France and that
chaos would not prevail against
the structure of law and gov
ernment which he built.
All the tides of internal dis
order and foreign assault have
not changed the fundamental
character of the institutions he
established. That blue nimbus
over the 1nvalides somehow
seems the aura of destiny. One
feels that France will live.
Napoleon believed in destiny.
Just before his death in that
forlorn, moldy old farmhouse
on st. Helena. still wearing his
military surtout and his three
cornered cooked hat, he wrote:
"All that is to happen is
written down: our hour Is
marked; we can't prolong it
minute beyond what Fate has
predestined."
FATALISTIC
Like ectoplasm, possibly SEN
tient, is that blush glow over
the Invalides. Appraisals OF
Napoleon make unending con-
troversy for historians. Lord
Roseberry calls him human be-
yond humanity" combining un-
matched military and civil
genius. Lamatrie observes that
when people ceased to fear him
they ceased to hate him." but
ruthlessly assesses him with the
misery he left in the wake of his
careering. Sir Henry Napier
says: ITO France he gave noble
institutions, a comparatively
just code of laws and glory un-
matched since the days of the
Romans"
To me, this seems faint
praise when one notes today's
vitality of the civic institutions
he established, institutions still
sound. even with the tramp of
rebellious feet in the Place de
la Concorde. His breaking up
the land of France and his
laws by which it was held and
transmitted in small holdings,
cut through old feudal land
tenure like a knife cleaving the
centuries apart. It made mod
ern France-insular, compla-
cent, secure. coldly suspicious
of great schemes of finance,
snarling at a hint of expropria-
ton, rooted in the soil.
Napoleon'S code civil was a
blend of the best of Roman
legal tradition, of the codes of
Justinian, and the exigent flats
with which he held power in
the vast flux of his new en-
pire. 1t has profoundly affected
the law of the nations that
have come after. He had no
legal training. This great legal
structure he forged out Of the
The Washington times., 1934-11-22

The movement to streamline
the human anatomy is only in
it's infancy, but that is no rea-
son for us to sit around acting
as if nothing were happening.
The architects are after us. and
we had better take a stand if
we don't want to find ourselves
hurtling between Los Angeles
and New York in Sc hours on
our own power.
The architects and the dress
designers have got together to
see what can be done about the
human body as a subject for
modernistic treatment, to COM
bine lines which will eliminate
wind resistance and, at toe
same time, make it possible to
breathe with a minimum of
wheeling. This is not all going
to take place painlessly, you
know. There'll have to be some
cutting and hacking done.
When they call in the butch
ers with cleavers. and plaster
ers and carpenters with their
helpers, then will be the time
to stand up and say: I'll drag
this laughable old mountain
around with me just as it is,
thank you! I'm used to it
now" Once they start erect
The Washington times., 1934-11-22

ing boardings around you to
keep bone chips from flying off
and hitting passersby or to
keep the noon day crowds
from watching the excavation
process, it will be too late.
Mr.. Gerald Heard, in his
book, "Narcissus," expresses
some disquieting thoughts
along these streamlines. He
says that the razor, the corset
and the boot are only clumsy
initial efforts to modify the
original shape of the body.
Manipulative surgery and facial
operations are already here,
graftingS are on their way, and
soon will come gland doctor
ings and general monkeying
around with the works. "Physi-
cally," he says, evolution pass
ing out of us, our bodies may
actually be on the way to dis
appear"
Not that I wouldn't welcome
The Washington times., 1934-11-22
Listen, World!
By Elsie Robinson

like that? Suppose the one we
love does not return that love?
Or repays it with indifference
and unkindness?
Then, we cry, loves a farce
a tragedy. we've been fools to
love. We've been tricked.
We're wrong. Love never
tricked a human heart.
You may trick yourself by ex-
pecting things you have no right
to expect.
You have no right to expect
another person to understand
you. You have no right to ex-
pect to possess another life.
Above all, you've no right to
make another person respon-
sible for y r happiness.
You have no right to expect
any of these things-and if you
insist upon expecting them
you're bound to be hurt.
But &c you're willing to love
for the sake of loving. knowing
that love. is its own reward,
you'll never be disappointed.
For then, no matter how things
turn out, you'll always be the
better for the bargain.
Is the loved one cruel. un.
faithful? Then that's HIS bad
luck. And there's probably lit
tie you can do about it. save to
protect yc elf and your af'
fairs from his weakness and
viciousness.
But your own love need not
be damaged. You cannot con-
troll another's acts, but you can
always control your own atti-
tude.
And, no matter what the
other fellow does or doesn't do,
THE CONDITION OF YOUR
OWN HEART IS UP TO YOU.
INSIDE JOB
Loves always an INSIDE job.
And that is true of all the
great experiences in life.
Our real life is lived in our
own feelings. Love. is what we
make it. The one you love may
be unworthy-but love itself Is
never unworthy The one you
love may never know it.
IT. NAV not be possible for
your lives to mate-or even
meet YET, IF YOU LOVE
BRAVELY AND BEAUT1-
FULLY. YOUR HEART WILL
BE THE RICHER EVERY
HOUR FOR THAT OUTPOUR-
ING.
Dare to love! Dare to be-
lieve in love! Dare to give
everything you have to love!
and don't worry about the con-
sequences.
There may be unpleasant
consequences, due to your own
selfishness or stubbornness or
stupidity.
But there are never any ur1-
pleasant consequences to love.
itself.
Love ALWAYS has a happy
ending.
Love always leads on and on
IGNORE LOVE.
(Copyright. 1894, by King FsatueSS
Syndicate, 1nc)
The Washington times., 1934-11-22

i J
you. impose upon you. . go of
and forget you and leave you
broken-hearted. Love like that
doesn't pay"
Yes, it does. Love ALWAYS
pays.
No one ever loved without be-
ing the richer and wiser for that
experience. And that is true re-
gardless of the other persons
responses.
FOR THE VALUE OF LOVE
DOESN'T LIE IN WHAT II
DOES TO THE OTHER PER
SON, OR IN WHAT HE DOES
TO YOU. BUT IN WHAT
LOVE DOES TO YOU, YOUR
SELF.
OWN REWARD
That's a simple fact-yet lew
of us realize it or have the
courage to admit it.
Most of us judge love by the
loved ones reaction. Are we
petted, flattered, showered with
gifts-shown adoring consldera'
ton?
Then we conclude, love is a
success. Love pays-lf 1t endS
like that.
But suppose it doesn't end
The Washington times., 1934-11-22

ners. So they put Donovan In
charge.
Although he had been con-
victed of robbery he saved the
fowl.
The resignation" of j. F. r.
O'Connor, Comptroller of the
Currency, is getting to be q
joke.
In New York, recently, he
again denied that he was STEP
ping out of office.
Months ago the first Storv
UdS circulated that O'Connor
10aS on the Day out. A letter
from O'COnnor WGS dispatched
to the newspaper Which printed
the yarn. He denied the story.
Then began what almost
amounted to a weekly series of
stories. Each said O'COnnor
was to resign. Each time he
made denials.
Once more he denies he is
to resign.
But the rumors will persist.
Bertrand H. Smell, Republi
can leader in the House. re-
turned to his home in PotSdum,
N. Y, from a hunting trip and
ridiculed suggestions that the
G. O. P. needed reorganization.
His statement, however, fails
to alter the views of many Of
his associates in the same party.
And from that statement
probably will come impetus for
the drive to remove Mr.. Smell
as Republican leader of the
House.
In the last session there was
a definite rebellion against the
wealthy New Yorker, both be.
The Washington times., 1934-11-22

cided rebellion against the old
Republican party policies that
have been in evidence for gener-
ations.
And those persons who know
what opposition there is in the
House to Mr.. Snell'S leadership
say that this last declaration
may sound his death knell as
leader.
Copyright, 1884, The Washington Times
The Washington times., 1934-11-22
Wise Words

Doing easily what others find
difficult is talent: doing what is
impossible for talent is genius
Amiel.
Your knowing is nothing un-
less some other person knows
that you know it.-Persius.
And the hand that rocks the
cradle is the hand that rules the
World.-Wallace.
All bodies are subject to
change; so it comes to pass that
each body is mortal.-C1cero.
AS often as a man loses MS
own relatives so often he dies
-Syrus.
It was worse than a crime, IL
was a blunder r-Fouche.
It is a great comfort to be free
from guilt.-Cicero.
The Washington times., 1934-11-22

cause of his
p o Ii C i e S on
party and be-
cause of his
attitude to-
ward his col
leagues.
The revolt
was quieted,
however, be-
cause OIL elcC-
tionS.
Mr.. Smell,
despite h i S
d e c | aration,
can't change
the fact that
there is a de-
The Washington times., 1934-11-22

greatest ad-
venture ou
c an under
take.
But" you
protest, "that
isn't so. There
are p op | e
you shouldn't
love people
y ou' We NJ
right to love.
And there are
people W h o
are unworthy
O f | O v e
They'll cheat
ond hafr "
The Washington times., 1934-11-22
Hacking at the Schools
Short-Siohted Economy

Even if the estimates District public schools approved
by the Bureau of the Budget submitted by the District Com
missioners Washngton school system instead of taking
the slack of the earlier economy years. WILL FALL
FARTHER AWAY FROM THE GOAL OF AN ADEQUATE
EDUCATIONAL PLANT.
This conclusion inecapabe from study of the figures
submitted by the Board of Education and the figures which
were later approved by the District Commissioners.
And it should be borne in mind that judging by the past
record of the Bureau of the Budget that bureau will NOT
give the schools all that the District Commissioners think that
they should have
The bureau in all likelihood will CUT FURTHER into the
school estimates which have already been reduced BELOW
THE SAFETY POINT by the Commissioners.
The inevitable result this process of whiting the school
estimates will be continuance of the D1SGRACEFUL CON-
D1T1ONS which now prevail in many of the schools.
of parme classes and continuance of antquated
school buildings and portable shacks
There is only way for the parents of District school
children to avoid the results of this hacking at the school
funds That way by direct and urgent appeal to the Con-
gress to OVERRIDE THE DISTRICT COMMISSIONERS AND
THE BUREAU OF THE BUDGET and appropriate for the
public schools the minimum asked by the Board of Education
from extravagant In fact it doubtful they adequate
to the needs of the school system.
Yet those estimates cut by about two million dollars
before they reached the Budget Bureau
Those in the schools should make it point to
ascertain how this reduction going affect the school life
of the children of the city.
Armed with knowledge of the disastrous effects which are
coming to the children result Of SHORT-S1GHTED|
ECONOMY it will be possible for 60 before Congress
when it meets in January and DEMAND JUSTICE FOR THE
CHILDREN WHO CANNOT DEMAND IT FOR THEM
SELVES.
The Washington times., 1934-11-22
The too-large gateway constitutes
A fatal weakness in the wall.
The little door upon the left
Marked DEPORTATION is too small

hot and malleable substance of
chaos and conquest, war and
rumors of war, hazard and
combat.
In the clang and tumult Of
arms and ascension. he main
The Washington times., 1934-11-22

will do in re-
gard to max
ing additional
p w A apprO-
priatiOnS in
the C m i ng
session.
He h a S a
strange worry,
however.
It is said
that IckeS is
not afrai d
that Congress
will refuse to
give him suf-
ficient f:%2ds.
Hic fno~ ic
The Washington times., 1934-11-22

tanned his empire with a bal
anced budget and no debt.
That's something for the mod
ern world to think about. He
established his council of
state, his public accounts OF
The Washington times., 1934-11-22
Baby Needs Shoes?
american Babies Get Them

Not all of Gods children have shoes But of those who
them unusually high proportion Americans manu-
facturers this produced 40 of the worlds output
Of about 910O0OO00 pairs.
baby needs pair of shoes he has the best kind
chance to get them he happens to be American baby
s something for those whod like to change economic
e4S4DRnEto think about.
The Washington times., 1934-11-22
The Greatest Show
On Earth
BIZ John Snure, T.

Public Works Administrator
Harold L. Ickes is said to be
worried about what Congress
The Washington times., 1934-11-22
Love Always Pays

Love always pays.
Love is always the biggest in
veStment you can make-the
The Waterbury Democrat., 1934-07-11

very lenient for drunken drivers and indeed the great majority of them get away with maiming or murder.
 The drunken drivers that escape accidents because the other driver
 or the pedestrian happens to be sober and alert, are the most pre- | judiced of all, for they assumed that because they habitually drink and then drive without accident, all this stuff about alcohol retard- | ing the reaction time is lot of hooey. Such persons on a jury are
 sure to sympathize with the driver | who has exercised his liberty even at the price of maiming or killing some one.
 Frequently we see statistics of | the frightful havoc wrought by automobile traffic and pleas to drivers to obey the law and the | rules of the road and to be care full. Since the law is so lenient in | interpreting drunken driving, and since so many people like little drink themselves, the automobile
 will doubtless long remain our most deadly weapon. Instead of urging
 drivers to be careful we should
 beg them to be sober. Or if that seems too much like interference
 with their personal liberty, then
 put it this way: No one is quite
 fit to take the responsibility of
 driving within an hour or two
 after drink or two. Many who
 do like a drink have an excellent
 rule:
 Don't drink if you have to drive
 home, or don't drive if you've had
 a drink.
The Waterbury Democrat., 1934-07-11
Preventing Tooth Trouble

mouth and teeth clean and healthy.
 The following citation gives the opinion of the committee on com munity dental service of the New York Tuberculosis and Health a3- sociation on this point:
 Save Teeth Early
 Complete dental service for the adult who has not received dental ically feasible and oftentimes is technically impossible. Neglect may have caused such extensive destruction to some teeth and en- tire loss of so many others as to result in hopelessly decreased mas ticating efficiency" mentous booklet just published by Dentistry for the Community" This com mittee, of which Dr AL fred Walker, former president of the New York State Dental society is chairman, n umber among it's members some of the leading den- lists of New York. Heath Dem tistry for the Community" may he presented as reliable and conclu- sive report because it is the result of the combined efforts of authori- tative dentists and a nationally re- nowned health organization.
 In considering public health ard social welfare questions. it is cs- sential that the cooperation of au- thorities of all the related profess sions be obtained. It is precisely this that gives the booklet Health Dentistry for the Community" and the facts 1t contains such validity. I shall discuss it more completely in subsequent articles.
The Waterbury Democrat., 1934-07-11
IF NEW BERETS FLOP" THEY'RE SMART Felt Add Sstn To Demmet Summer Eocks

The beret is back in a great big way. You can take it in velvet, ribbon or felt but whatever you choose, you'll get a double DOT ton, for these first fall toppers are simply enormous. No matter how you wear these new berets, straight on your head or clamped over one ear, they're big enough to flop all around in a most seductive man. ner. They make swell late sum- mer pick-me-up for a tired ward robe and will add so plistication to the most demure frock.
 At the top, left of the sketchs black Lyons velvet is used with corded top to give the effect of a double brirn.
 Dark brown felt makes the tam at the lower left of the sketch. It has g. beige grosgrain ribbon band and streamers.
 In the center very Scottish tam is made of green velvet with a matching silk pom-pom at the top.
 At the top, right, black faille is used for a very rakish looking beret with a stiff lacquered feather holding up the left side.
 Deep blue felt makes an exag- gerated affair so wide it is based on a skull-cap bandeau to keep it in place. Red grosgrain ribbon borders this skull-cap section and forms the back bow. GLADYS PARKER.
The Waterbury Democrat., 1934-07-11
STYLE CHATS
WITH ALMA ARCHER

At this moment of the summer, one doesn't know whether to buy a rather grand white satin dress for evening which may be worn on and one into the dead of fall. or to pick up a not too tawdry little number in plaid tablecloth material for finishing out the hot spell. Likewise a girl thinks about the chapeau situation, whether to buy marked-down summer truck or to shoot for something new. My advice is, don't be a chuck get the advance note If 1t kills you. Buy the white satin as the mainstay and snap on to the plaid bargain as an extra. And when you're thinking about the hat story, buy a silk, or felt or satin and remember that the newest of new is the Spanish Gypsy" shape-up on the right side and whooped down on the left side-very much as you visualize Don Juan using for a lid. Incident ally, I feather the idea that Doug Fairbanks and Joan Gardner ought to snatch on to this new gypsy style in their picture about Don Juan's private life.
The Waterbury Democrat., 1934-07-11

1-No. In "Molders of the Amer ican Mind" by Norman Woelfel, he says: "In recent yeares college and university students have given signs of a self-conscious maturity and independence which in the past has been almost completely lacking" This is shown, he says. in their choosing courses more carefully; more active class and campus discussion of current af- fairs; more critical college news. papers and the many national stu- dent conferences. From featuring at many colleges and universities, this expresses my own opinion.
 2--Terribly harmful. Here is a byo-his story told in the Journal of Educational Psychology by Anna Cohen and Nathan Altrowitz--- whose mother had made him be- E -lieve he was three years older than he really was in order to make him feel responsible for helping the family. He became . thief. liar,
The Waterbury Democrat., 1934-07-11

THE DRUNKS THAT GO FREE.
 Young man driving a car with four passengers attempted 8 quick swerve from the path of another car at 8 corner and wrecked upon a lamppost. Some of his passen- gers were seriously injured. Just who was at fault is uncertain, but anyway the young man was ar rested for drunken driving, and held in jail on some technicality friends brought strong influence to bear, but the judge was firm and the young man served his time in jail. He and his friends indign- antly declare he had had "only one or two' drinks at the party they had attended. The familiar would be ample to sustain the charge.
 It seems to me that any person and then attempts to drive an punishment for recklessly endau- gering the life and limb of the other driver or the pedestrian who
 
 Now this is an assertion of scientific fact and not mere opinion of a prejudiced crank. By actual measurements it has been ascertained that a person who has had one or two little drinks is from one-fifth to two-fifths of a second slower in reacting to a signal. IT such d person sees another driver bearing down on him or a pedes- trian crossing in front of him or child darting out from the curb, he takes precisely one-fifth to two-fifth of second longer to de- eide what he is going to do about it, and meantime the accident has happened.
 Owing to the large number of drinkers in the population and their traditional attitude in respect to scientific teachings concerning the effects of alcohols, the law is
The Waterbury Democrat., 1934-07-11

Thorpe an office memorandum on blue paper it meant Are you com ing to-night?" and the blue paper for his reply meant yes, white paper, no.
 Jane wondered now if it was not the office, and its business that had held them together for this long two years. They had worked together there so easily. She had absorbed his methods, profited by his experience, and in return she had kept him informed about mat ters which came from other de- partments direct to Handel. She had learned of KandeTs Chelsea project at it's very beginning and Thorpe had seen the way to buy in ahead of his employer and make creamy profit for himself. Jane had put the money wrung from Miss Rosa's stewardship into the scheme and the gain had doubled 1t. She felt no guilt in tricking Handel. She had seen his own ruthless, interruptions schemes win out time after time. It seemed no more than fair that for once he shouldn't get all the best of it. She