The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1934-12-21
BRISBANE
THIS WEEK
A Flying Vanderbilt
Communists and Tailors
Was EPIC; Now It's EPIA
In and Out of Who's Who
In and ()ut of W.T.


The original Commodore Vanderbilt
who ran little boat from Staten is
land to the mainland. then became the
country's biggest railroad man and
head Of the New York Central, would
be interested to know that his great
grandson, William K. Vanderbilt, ac-
cording to Mr.. Maury Paul. has built
a big airplane for his personal travel
His branch of the Vanderbilt family
will be independent of railroads, even
of yachts. except for ocean crossings.
MIR. West of the Junior NATIONAL
Chamber Of Commerce says one mil
lion five hundred thousand Commu-
nists are plotting to overthrow this
government
The famous 'seven tailors Of Tooley
street." beginning their exordium, I'VE,
the people of England" also planned to-
change things, but they did not. Mr..
Vests one million five hundred thou
sand Communists will not overthrow
anything, either. Besides, there are
not one million five hundred thousand.
The number of real enrolled Commu-
nists in this country is under thirty
thousand, and there are perhaps one
hundred thousand pale pink Commu-
nists
If there were one million five hun
dred thousand there would still be-
about one hundred and twenty-five
million Americans of different color,
determined to change this government
in their way, if at all, and do it slowly.
Have you heard about ''EPIA"? It
is new arrangement of letters In
vented by Harry L. Hopkins, admin
istrator Of federal emergency relief for
President Roosevelt, and it means END
Poverty in America" Your mind hops
back to Mr.. Upton Sinclair's EPIC"
which meant END Poverty In Cali
fornia," until the election ended ''epic.'~
Mr.. Hopkins is a powerful man, Of
strong will, great energy, and nobody
will "pooh-pooh" his plan to abolish,
American poverty. He would spend
public billions on Subsistence home
steads" and rural rehabilitation pro-
grams, move families from poor lands
to good lands, where they might pros
per; lend government billions to buy
tools, equip new homesteads, buy live
stock, etc.
The new British who's Who" gives
Hitler two lines. Frances Perkins is not
in the book. although Greta Carlo is
in. and Upton Sinclair, with a full ac-
count Of his EPIC"
Those left out must console them
selves with the fact that Leonardo da
Vinci, In all his writing, did not men,
ton Christopher Columbus, and the
duke Of st. Simon, in his long memoirs,
makes only one little mention of Vol
taire, merely because ''he was the SON
Of my fathers notary"
He was also the father Of the French
revolution, which put an end to the i'm
portance of French dukes. But St.
Simon could not know that.
Washington says the President, in
a financial imitation of Hamlet, asks
himself just now: ITO spend, or NOT
to spend" If he proceeds with the
full program Of relief, supplying Jobs
and food, he must ask congress for
more billions, perhaps nine of them,
So, ZOO, 100000.
Ii congress says yes, and the au-
thorities foolishly decide to issue in
imitation" bonds, that
will mean paying not 100000 600,
but s1s,OOO,OOOOOO, the original plus
interest.
Senator Huey Long, of Louisiana,
says he has enrolled 1,460,OO0 Ameri--
cans in his ''share-the-wealth" plan.
That seems a small figure for a
plan to divide big fortunes. New
York and Chicago had thriving share
the wealth" organizations before Sem
ator Long started his. Some original
gentlemen with share-the-wealth in
clinations are in Atlanta penitentiary,
some In a Colorado prison, some on
Alcatraz island, in the bay back Of
San Francisco.
At Tivoli, N. Y, the courtroom
cheered when a jury acquitted a
teacher, thirty-seven years old, for
beating a thirteen-year-old boy with
a rubber hose and allegedly hitting
him with his fist The man admitted
using the rubber hose. but denied
using his fist.
Had he admitted beating a young
dog with a rubber hose, the court
room would not have cheered.
Once. reporters tell you, Mrs. Edythe
Townsend was rich, wit, a beauty,
and a lady. who visited at the White
House, and had aristocratic ancestors
They found her dead, suicide by gas,
In small furnished room. She was
years old, and, police said,
'ill, lonely. impoverished. Respondent
Those four words wipe out all past
grandeur, fine ancestry, recollections
Of wealth.
Senator Borah, a sincere, indie
pendent American. wants the Repub-
lican party to reorganize itself. giving
Its liberals" control.
He would drive out the reaction
aries" II he did that, what and how
many would he have left? Strip the
blubber from whale. humps from q
two-hump camel, and you have little
whale or camel remaining.
G. King Features Syndicate. Inc.
WNU Service.