The Washington times., 1934-11-26
Now
Hostess Nightmare.
Litany For AT Homes
Mixed Geography.
BY Helen ESSary

by HeAeN ESS&Ey
She was pretty and she was
charming. And she was very,
very good.
There was no reason for her
to lie awake at night while her
brain whirled with endless
phrases. 1t wasn't her past that
was troubling her. Not exactly
her past. 1t was her future.
And what she knew it would be
because of her experience in the
past.
She was a Cabinet hostess.
Poor thing! The seasons at
homes were awaiting her relent-
lessly. And while she twisted
and tossed beneath the elder.
down and the pale gray light
peeped in under the window
shades, she found her thoughts
running through THE Litany
of Official Washington"
"Oh, how do you do, Mr.. AM
basSadOr! How good of you to
come to my at-hOme. It's al
ways a pleasure to see you. All!
Don't tell me Madame is indis-
posed! 1 am indeed SO sorry.
Perhaps tomorrow. OF course
1 remember you, Mrs. WhitsOn.
Certainly 1 do. Too bad Mr..
WhitsOn is busy. Indeed it is
thoughtful of you to bring your
cousin from the country. Oh,
not from the country? From La
Plata? do get SO confused
that, sometimes.
"NOw, Mr.. Secretary, if this
isn't the greatest compliment
I've ever been paid! Imagine
you leaving your busy office to
come to see me. And your
daughter, too. Don't tell me your
charming wife isn't here. Oh,
yes, 1 remember now. The Com
mittee on the Improvement of
Moods and Chances. Your wife
is so tremendously clever. And
so capable. / never can under
stand how she finds time and
ideas tO-Oh, yes, she must be
good manager.
81 beg your pardon, Mr.. Sec
retary. Surely you know the
Minister from Yucatan. Do
forgive me, Mr.. Minister. My
geography was always bad. 1t
is Berengaria, isn't it? Ha, ha,
ha! An unusually chic ensemble,
Madame. But then I've always
known you got your clothes in
Paris.
"NOt a little dreSsmaker on @
Street? 1 simply can't believe
IT,"
Observation-Disclosures
ton. why, of course, Mrs. Ring
ton! 1 should say 1 do remem-
ber you. remember you when
you were the prettiest girl on
wildwood Street. Just near us in
Opelusa. Don't tell me it
wasn't Opelusa-the year we
were running for the Legisla-
ture? I am undoubtedly the
stupidest woman in the world.
When 1 think Of what my poor
husband has endured all these
years. Oh. Of course,
now 1 know. You have been
coming to my at-hOmes for
years Yes, for years and
years, 1 might say. Really,
every time I've had one. No
doubt. Yes, of course. Sweet
of you to admire my husband.
Naturally, 1 do too. Thank
you, Mrs.-er-er-RingwOrm. {.
"HOw-dO-yOu-dO HOw-dO-
you-dO How dO-yOu-dO. A
charming afternoon. Yes, in
deed. So many nice people.
Certainly. Ones friends are
always dear. HOw-dO-you-dO.
How-dO- -you-dO.
"Mrs. j. BurIey Moore! The
very person I've been wanting
TO see. why are you coming
so late? I'm sure you're on
time in Lebanon don't
believe you. No prOcrastinating
woman could run a Democratic
club and pile up votes for our
candidates like you do. / hate
you for your hat. should say
/ do
"Ah, Mrs. Crossways! Don't
tell me this is your son! It's
simply unbelievable Mrs.
EatmOre. Good afternoon, Mrs.
EatmOre. Yes, 1 know you.
Every one in Washington knows
you. Yes. I'll be having an
other at-hOme next month.
Yes. Yes =.
Louisa, my darling! At
last! Run in the dining room.
Help wherever you can. You
always were an angel. Look
out for Mrs. EatmOre. She s
hungrier than ever
"Oh-Mr. Ambassador. I am
50 glad that :"
What is fame? What is the
reward of genius?
Inquire of Mr.. Jascha Heifetz,
the violinist, whose music melts
the hearts of a hemisphere.
Mr.. Heifetz tells the story
himself. He was hurrying to
a hotel concert, was late and
anxious. He stopped at an
open elevator.
tenth floor, please"
Said the elevator boy:
mot a chance. All fellows
with fiddIes go to the back ele-
vatOr. Other side of the no.
tel"