Evening star., 1934-05-24
THIS AND THAT
BY CHARLES Z. TRACEWELL.

Those who light on Seneca's famous
work on Gifts" usually wonder why
man would write so much about a
subject which, ON the face Of it, seems
SO open and shut, as we say today.
One presents a gift, another accepts
1t with thanks, and bears a sense of
gratitude to the donor. 1t is as easy
as that, one thinks, and as simple.
1t seems, however, that not every
one is so fortunate in their donations.
To make a present to another, with
some unfortunate souls. is to lose a
friend.
This is queer result of what ought
to bind friendship, but sometimes it
happens, and with certain natures.
There is a slight resemblance here
to the known fact that one of the best
ways to lose a friend is to lend him
money.
AS the result of bitter experience
J many persons in time come to close
their pocketbooks to all but their i'm
mediate family, on the conviction that
to loan money to those they know
makes these tend to avoid them.
= = = =
Perhaps 1t is not as easily under
stood how the presentation of gifts to
others, made in true generosity, and
with no other thought in mind, can
result in turning the recipient against
the donor.
In practically every case the former
would disclaim such lack of gratitude.
He is the last one, he would swear,
to be ungrateful. He would bring for
ward dozen good reasons why the
charge made against him could not be
true.
Yet the fact would stand that he
had not seen his friend now for many
months, or since the gift was made,
whereas in the past it had been his
custom to meet him at least once a
week.
Actions do, indeed. speak louder
than words. There may have been
good reasons for his change, but they
appear to be connected with the gift.
There can be no doubt that some per-
sons are not gifted with the ability to
make gifts. They probably make
others feel that they want too much
gratitude, when all the time such un-
fortunate ones ask nothing more than
the pleasure of making the gift.
Here is gentleman who purchases
set of rustic furniture. He finds that
two chairs are just one too many, so
when his old friend happens to be at
the house he mentions the extra chair.
Would he like it? If so, he can put
it in the back Of his car.
He would like it, of course. Few
Americans can resist the lure of get
ting something for nothing.
AS he drives away the donor has
misgivings.
There goes a friend" he says, at
last.
And. sure enough, that was the way
it worked out.
+ 4 4 4
1t may be that the average Ameri-
can has too little sense of gratitude.
The blame cannot all go one way-at
least it usually does not. There are
two sides to any gift, the giver and
him who accepts, and the latter might
think more than he often does Of the
one who makes the presentation.
The truth Is that most people often
accept what they do not really want.
They are unable to resist taking it, not
only for the above reason, but also
because they do not want to risk Of
Tending the other
By accepting what they do not want
they naturally have little sense of
| gratitude, whereas If they took only
such things as they had real need
for they might better preserve that
sense Of gratitude which is the happy
result Of the gift well timed
A great deal of the failure in gift
giving lies in the donor, without q
doubt. He fails to think of the real
need of the recipient, all too often.
Sometimes he wants to get something
of his hands. and does not mind If
the other knows it. In this frank