The Washington times., 1934-12-19
NOW
NeW Deal Shirts
For the Needy
sNOOTY PHONES
BY Helen ESSary

make aprons Out OF Guc SCIl III
tact ShirttaiIS? The poor always
need aprons. If you could stamp
each apron with the initials of
the man who donated his shirt
for the cause, the gift, 1 am sure,
would be greatly appreciated
and something of an inspiration.
In most cases two aprons could
be got from each shirt"
A beautiful idea, and so prac-
tical. Perhaps the New Deal, be-
Ing a great producer of celebri'
ties, would cooperate with the
Red Cross in this worthy enter
prise and organize the Shirt
Tails Of Famous Men Commis"
sion"
Now that the new telephone
directory-the social register Of
the proletariat-is out, I am re-
: minded that:
Mrs. Harold IckeS was down
town Christmas shopping the
other day and wanted to tele-
phone home. She couldn't re-
member her phone number.
Looking in the book wouldn't
have helped her. The Ickes
phone is unlisted.
So, nicely, in her very best
voice, Mrs. IckeS asked infor-
nation to give her her own
telephone number.
Information replied, nicely,
in her very best voice that she
was very sorry but the tele-
phone company never gave out
unlisted numbers. Therefore
she could not tell the number
of Mrs. Ickes' phone.
But, Mrs. Ickes protested
she was Mrs. Ickes.
The operator said:
"In the future when wishing
10 get an unlisted number,
you will please remember the
number you wish to get"
Mrs. Ickes is not the only
great unlisted mind that for
gets its telephone number.
Members of the Cabinet, Sena-
tors with no more jobs to give
out; selfish characters who
would rather sleep at 2 in
the morning than help a friend
in iail-all of these snooty,
silent characters have been
known to gnaw their fingers in
the frenzy of remembering
their private numbers.
Merely as kindness to the
forgetful and unlisted, the
telephone company might put
. bright red appendix in the
back of the book. On the
pages of the appendix could
be printed the silent phones.
A nice thought for the
New Year.
Washington, now that it is en-
Gaged in outgroWing its short
trousers and being a groWnup
town, attracts celebrities not
only from the rest of the United
States, but from the rest of the
world.
A fascinating Englishman is
here. Capt. R. Gordon Canning,
with a reputation as soldier, a
gift at poetry, and an inherl-
tance as diplomat, is now bent
on the study of economics.
Naturally he has come to
Washington to try to learn lit
tie about the NRA and it's effect
upon American industry and
character.
I've met Captain Canning at
several parties lately. Sometimes
with Sir Wilmott Lewis. Some
times with George Garrett. He is
tremendously interested in the
whirligig that is Washington and
In the people who are sizzling
about in the national picture.
Captain Canning has a thrill
ing ancestry. The Gordons, for
whom he is named, are de-
Scended from the Gordons of
eight, for whom Lord Byron's
mother called her poet son.
His fraternal ancestry boasts a
history in Britain in the early
Thirteenth century. And remem-
bers with pride a George Can
ming who was a prime minister
and a Stratford Canning, the
first ambassador Great Britain
sent to washington in 1921.
Morocco, India, South Africa,
Palestine and p pit, Captain
Canning knows with thorough
ness. His stay in Washington
will not be one of those fly-by-
night, bird's-eye-views of the
American scene. He expects to
remain here for several months.
Notes from Winter VacatiOnists:
The American Ambassador to
the Court of st. James and Mrs.
Robert Worth Bingham are ex'
pected to arrive in washington
O few days before Christmas.
Former Senator and Mrs.
Harry B. Halves send a gorgeous
post card from Honolulu. A big
ponciana tree is in bloom. A
gentle little stream glideS be-
tween bright green grasses.
Palm trees are waving. And the
sky is very blue. The message
says: Merry Christmas"
In such a setting! Imagine!
TOSh DM&u