The Waterbury Democrat., 1934-06-06
In New York
By PAUL HARRISON

that ther0 just iBn't anything tO write about. Mae Murray hasn't slapped lawyer for weeks, and Tommy Manville Jr. hasn't mar. ried anyone recently. have 4 feeling that nobody cares much whether the oliver K. Roarks are figuring on a divorce. And frank. Iy doubt the story that blonde lit' tic Frances Morton is sending three brothers through college on her wages as night club hoofcr.
 If 1 were Haywood BrouB might write 4 column about my dog--if ] had A dog. If had a small son ] might interview him on what he thinks Of Broadway, or the theatep. If l had been iuckler today might have found somebody" with n few tTftersBtine stories, But the thi0.bearerB Ail have gone to Hollywood, or Ash. ing, or sOnetbiDg
 Saloon Saga,
 Rule 2 Of the Code for New York CoIumnists probably would prescribe, at this point, ono of those adventurous pF0wIs which are supposed to turn ID lot Of dandy items about the romantic, many.faceted fife of the great city" Tn an East Side saloon, for example, 1 might meet A pictures. que rogue who would divulgc all the details about how he snug. gies Chinese into this country. Chances are, too, that this fellow will be q collector Of first editions and a wartime recipient Of the Congressional Medal of Honor. PiiiDg into a taxicab l then ought to icgrn that the driver is an cx.financier who lost Sl7,000,. 900 in the Wall street debacle, and that no now teaches a Sunday school class and collects colonial bcotjacks. Aiighting at the stage door of the Winter Garden, ] might wander into H dressing room and discover beautiful Follics girl raptly reading volume or Nletzsche. Almost certainly she would turn out to be n graduate of Jyrn MaWr and scuiDtreyB whore work Is being shown all over Paris by ArchipeBko.
 HOwdy, Folks:
 Thence over to Park avenue, waving enrOute 10 Mrs Cornelius Vanderbilt Whitney, Eugene O'NcllI Langdon Post, Irving and Ellin Maekay Berlin, and Ann Morgan, Some of those people arn't in town now, but 1 could wave anyway. Slipping 6 cocktail in the drawing room of famous society leader, [ could trade a few ban m0ts with the Countcss FaI de Saint phalie, Neysa McMein, Hermann CeIrichs and Tommy Riddle, discovering meanwhile that they are all mad about Nietzsche and are collectors of first editions.
 "I'cII Me, Guy .t
 On the way out should en- counter Guy TugweIi in the eleva. tor and get from him couple Of pItby lines about the state Of the nation, MT. .Tugweli doubtless would be headed for an auction where q first edition of Nietzeche was to be sold.
 Going back across town 1 might drop into an ex.spcakeasy and discover, in corner and tin. der some false whiskers, none other than Dutch Schultz, whom the police have been seeking for q long time as the local Public Enemy No. 1. Mir Schultz would lay aside one of Aidous HuxIey's books long enough to tell me tha. he has taken up the zither to while away his lonely, fugitive hours. Discovery Bonr.
 By now 1t would be dinner time. when ali good coiumnists are out discovering" interesting restau rants. Most of us already have discovered Luchow's, sardfs, EI Chico, Dinty Moore's, Llndy's, the Waldorf Astoria and other rary spots, so I might drop into Miya- kos. While the inscrutable Ori. ental stirred my suki-yaki I should be disappointed if he didn't lean over and whisper: Have you read IIya Ehrenbourg's Out of Chaos 2" Engagement of the waiter in con. versation doubtless would reveal him as a second cousin of the Son of Heaven, sent to this c0un- try incognito to promote friendIier relations between the United States and Japan.
 Later I might take a walk in Riverside Park and become the confidant of a young lady-of-the. evening. She would be f0un dalter- natciy ogIing sailors and sobbing over . copy of schnltzIer's Wien nese Novelettes." It would devel- op that she was the daughter of a suicide Banker and that she had been wronRed by millionaire Broadway Lothario ...
 Such things seem Co happen tc some people. But this hasn't been my lucky day.
 More fhAn halR fhe eoffon Isn-