The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1934-03-14


of his life He can not sue for
divorce until he gets these per-
Sonal things back in his own name
which is going to be very hard to
do. Even though I know he may
always be her husband, l am con-
tent to sacrifice the rest Of my
life hoping, waiting and praying
that some time he will belong to
me.
His wife isn't the type that you
could go to and talk to because II
she were he would have done so
long ago. I am just gradually dy-
ing inside from the ache he has
caused me, and still 1 am very
much in love with him and I know
he is with me. What is your adj
vice to both of us? But remember
I can't give him up!
B. w.
AnSWer-If you won't give the
man up, then what else is there to
do but content yourself with your
position behind the scenes? You
can't force the man to leave wife
who functions as an investment even
though she is nothing else. Few
married men are willing to pay the
price of readjustment. They lack
the courage to face the social up
heaval, financial loss and general
uprooting connected with divorce. In
other words, they don't really want
divorce or they would make more
effort to bring it about.
To them it seems much simpler
to preserve the peace by observing
outward forms and by keeping their
love lives private. 1t is perfect logic
from their viewpoint, but leaves a
lot to be desired by the women who
share them
I am not entirely out of sympathy
with men who try to escape from
matrimonial prisons without rOus-
ing the ire Of disagreeable wives, but
in this case 1 do not know what the
wife has had to contend with her.
self. I realize that the uproar
caused by deserted women does not
always arise from genuine heart
break, but from wounded Self-esteem
and fright over financial insecurity.
But I am completely in the dark
about the character of woman
whose husband once loved her
enough to trust her with all his
worldly goods.
1t is true that the social condem-
nation which attends divorce with
out one of the niggardly group of
causes named by law is hard to face.
Society is all too ready to condemn
a man to a life of devastating lone
illness by the side of a woman who
is insufferably dull merely because
she is a good hOusekeeper." He is
supposed to find comfort in his
starved life because he is doing his
duty" and making a sacrifice"
Nevertheless, feel that it is bet
ter for all concerned when the man
is honest enough to face reality in
stead Of trying to escape into a
make-shift existence. Many mar
riages which could have been saved
are broken up for childish reasons;
and such partners seldom make any
better 60 of the second venture than
they did of the first. In my opinion
fundamental incOmpatibility is a
more conclusive cause for divorce
than the much vaunted sin of adult
cry because it is more damaging to
the personality and less easily Grad
icable.
Which classification the marriage
of your lover comes under, l can
not say. I do not know whether his
excuses are f1imsy or valid. You are
the only one with enough evidence
at your command to decide whether
or not he is worth what he costs
you.
Dear Jane Jordan-I am a
young lady of %, one of six chill
dren was always pampered and
babied a great deal until about
two years ago when mother had
slight stroke and it was up to me
to face things. When I was II I
was desperately i'll and had an
operation which made it impos-
sible for me to be a mother. You
can imagine how my dreams were
shattered knowing how I loved
children, my folks have been more
than good to me. Young men did
not notice me and I thought it
was because Of my operation.
This summer I found a position