davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1934-07-06
Retort GoofY

Percy-When the housewreckers
tore down Smiths house they found
collar button he lost in 1919.
Flags-Well, he knows his own
business best, but I would have
thought it would be cheaper to buy
a new collar button.-Vancouver
Province.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1934-07-06
Sad News

Mrs. PARKWAY Your husband
seemed to enjoy himself so much on
lis visit to us. He made himself per-
fectly at home.
Mrs. Homebody-Do you mean to
say he growled about the meals and
scolded the children? I'm sorry he
was so rude.-Brooklyn Eagle.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1934-07-06
Law and Order in the Guleh

"Aren't you Gulchers in favor Of
law and order?'
Every time" answered Cactus Joe.
But we can't keep the armed popu-
lace from fghtin' about who's goin'
to lay down the law and what judge
is goin' to give the orders"
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1934-07-06
WELL NAMED

First Boarder-Why does the farm
er call his prize pig Ink?
Second Boarder-I don't know; he
isn't black.
First Boarder-Because he's al
ways running from the pen.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1934-07-06
LITTLE FROCK ADDS
TO CHILDISH CHARM
PATTERN 1889

When people say to you, what Q
sweet little girl you havel" it usually
means that you've chosen just the
right design for her little frock. The
little dress In this picture is that
kind. 1t brings out all the baby charm
in the little girl by its simplicity of
line, and especially the little f1uttery
ruffle accent over the shoulders. It's
1Orable made of a printed cotton,
dotted swiss, dimity, or of plain ma
terial, in pink, blue, red-whatever
color brings out the best In her hair,
eyes and skin. Buttons should be of
gaily contrasting color.
Pattern 1889 Is available in sizes
2, 4, 6. s and 10. Size 4 takes PA
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1934-07-06
Very SedenkarY

Doctor-Have you a sedentary oc-
cupation?
Patient-A what?
Doctor-Do you sit down to your
work?
Patient-Yes-Tm a jockey.-Lon-
don Opinion.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1934-07-06
Slisht Mistake

Clubster Cat the dance)-Say, old
chap, what was that last dance you
did? 1t was great.
Woodson-I wasn't dancing; I
broke my suspenders and was trying
to catch the loose ends.-Brooklyn
Eagle.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1934-07-06
Caf's Fatal Bite

"Cat scratches and bites are seri-
GUS" said doctor at recent inquest.
He added: 'They turn septic more
frequently than bites and scratches
from any other animals. They are
more serious than dog bite"
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1934-07-06
The Hint

1t was the flag end Of a rather
dull evening in the parlor. After
a long silence he said: II wish had
money. I'd travel"
She looked at him moment, and
then reached for her handbag.
"How much do you need?" she
inquired.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1934-07-06
Ny! Myl

Champion Borrower-When re-
turned Mr.. Pettigrew's mower with
the broken blades-he sworeI
Wife-We don't want that sort of
thing to occur again, dear. You'd bet
ter borrow next time from the vicar.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1934-07-06
Wzxo DiRs Hole

The solitary wasp digs hole In the
ground, flies away from 1t for some
distance, perhaps, before it finds q
caterpillar, which she drags to her
hole remembering the place. to de-
post there together with her egg.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1934-07-06
Interior Motives

''Do you know precisely what You
are talking about?"
Always" answered Senator Sor-
ghum, although / sometimes deem 1t
expedient to avoid letting my public
be fully aware Of it,
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1934-07-06
Understanding

Percy = -er-um-um-tha is
ah-might Ter
Jeweler-Certainly, sir. Samuel,
bring me over that tray of engage
ment rings.-Toronto Globe.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1934-07-06
81 really don't know l don't see
why they should be sad when they
have no hotel bill to pay"
The Cron
One Error

"What was your plum crop like?
swell, heavy storm blew down SO
per cent of it, and we'd hardly gath
cred that when another wind blew
down the rest
bad lucki Could you do anything
with them?'
"Well. my wife ate one and ATE
the other"
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1934-07-06
Heart Interest

He was an oldish man, and the
actress told him frankly that she did
not know whether to marry him or
not.
''Do you really love me" she
asked.
words fail me-"
'Try figures. Courier
Journal.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1934-07-06
improvements

snow that you have leisure, you
can improve your mind"
81 suppose so" replied Mr. Dustin
Stax. But a good mind is some
times like a good piece of property.
Over-anxiety to improve 1t may spoil
IT.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1934-07-06
Art Note

Visitor ito butler who Is showing
him through the picture gallery
That's a fine portraits Is it an old
master?
Butler-No, that's the old misus.-
Washington Labor.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1934-07-06
Investigation

Have you made your mark in con-
greSsional procedure?"
Yes" answered Senator Sorghum,
Il have at least gone on record with
a question mark
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1934-07-06

Washington Singer, whose father in
vented a sewing machine, left for
tune Of S5,534,S9e in England, where
he raced his horses. The British gov
eminent takes an ESTATE duty Of
about two million dollars from the
heirs. At that rate, 1t does not take
long for vast accumulations to melt
away, especially as "the bigger the
estate, the higher the percentage
taken" Our government has borrowed
the idea, made necessary by strange
faculty for spending developed by poll
ticians. r...-r.
It used to be three generations
from shirt sleeves to shirt sleeves"
II will be shorter than that now
among our prosperous ones, If deaths
come In rapid succession.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1934-07-06

yards SO inch fabric. Illustrated
step-by-step sewing instructions In
cluded. .....
Send FIFTEEN CENTS (15c) in
coins or stamps (coins preferred) for
this pattern. Write plainly name, ad-
dress and style number. BE SURE
TO STATE SIZE.
Address orders to Sewing Circle
Pattern Department, 243 West Seven
teenth Street, New York City.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1934-07-06

The big, dangerous steel strike Is
for the time averted, thanks TO the
Presidents wise, unobtrusive media
ton, and thanks especially to the wise
advice given to the men by William
Green, president of the American Fed
Grafton Of Labor.
q. King Features Syndicate. Inc.
wNIJ Service
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1934-07-06
BRISBANE
THIS WEEK
In the Age of Billions
Old Bill Did Not Know
More Land? What For?
If Suddenly Rich. What?

Congress number seventy-three goes
home after appropriating for variegat-
ed spending between six thousand
eight hundred and seven thousand mill
lion dollars.
No congress ever appropriated 80
much in peace times.
In addition to spending about seven
thousand million dollars, this congress
guaranteed approximately seven thou
sand millions more in home mortgages
and farm bonds and set up a two thou
sand million "stabilization fund"
We are living in the era of billions"
With congress gone home, President
Roosevelt is lord of all he surveys,
which is no great change. He was
pretty much that before the adjourn
ment. We have no dictator in the
United States, and shall not have one
unless something strange and unusual
happens, but the President has as
much OF a dictator'S power as he
chooses to use.
Congress, with unimportant excep-
lions, Obeyed orders while in session,
and the country will look to the Presi-
dent now to initiate and put through
whatever he chooses. That situation
probably does not suit him. 1t in
wolves great responsibility.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1934-07-06

President Roosevelt, in letter sent
to West Virginia, expresses satisfac-
ton with the achievements Of NRA.
I'VE have spread employment, we
have raised pay, and we are not
through yet.
1T is a notable record of recovery.
It has led the way for other nations,
and has produced widespread and, I
believe, permanent results. Certainly
we have a right to celebrate this an
niversary."
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1934-07-06

Another incident Of the hard times:
Milk was so regularly stolen from
mans doorstep that he journeyed ev-
cry morning to nearby grocery store
to get his supply. The third time he
was held up, and lost not only his milk
and bottle, but S. in money.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1934-07-06

The young "Count Of Paris" who
might be king of France If the French
people suddenly lost their wits, be-
1ieves that he, so far as he knows
direct descendant Of Hugh Capet, will
soon be called to the French throne.
He says.
you would be astonished If you
could know how weary France Is Of
the present regime"
The young pretender to the throne
might be surprised If he could know
how weary France was Of her kings
before she got rid of them, and how
fortunate he Is that the common sense
of the French will keep him talking,
not reigning.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1934-07-06

A member Of the British house of
commons suggests that, failing cash
payment, we might accept something
in the way Of territory. The British
will not give up any territory IL they
can hold on to it, which they can easily
do in this case.
And apart from that, what good
would it do US to acquire more ter
ritory and have some foolish congress-
man insist on giving it away? We
could not possibly get from the British
anything as valuable as the Philip
pines, and we are doing our best to get
rid Of them at this moment.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1934-07-06

'Old Bill" dead in London, was a
carrier pigeon. He carried messages
during the first year of the big war
from British army and air forces in
France and Belgium back to London,
and lost leg. Brought back to Eng
land by an invalid soldier, he enjoyed
life for many years, and now has laud-
atory obituary notices" in English pa
pers.
''Old Bill" few back and forth In
the big war and lost a leg without
ever knowing why he was flying or
why he had to lose that leg.
But "Old Bill" was no more ignorant
than a majority of the soldiers over
whose heads he few on errands that
he did not understand.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1934-07-06

What would you do If you suddenly
found yourself quite rich, with a pros
pect of easy riches" to come? Mr..
Max Baer, new holder Of the heavy
weight prize-fghting championship, ac-
cording to the New York Evening
Journal, bought himself thirty-fve new
suits Of clothes, sin tan, gray and pas
tel shades" There was a great crowd
waiting outside the tailor shop to
cheer him, and he wrote his autograph
on a one-dollar bill for a young girl.
Fame Is a wonderful thing.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1934-02-09

Interest high PITCH and fine response expected from
Charles county the first subscription drive conducted by local
newspaper prizes offered attractive and weworh
working The campaign will be Short exciting turnout
be noted that many communities yet represented
but expected that practically every postoff
will be listed by week Due to the wide territory
the campaign manager able call yet every
Candidates wanted from pooce and from
postofices that represented, to enter
open anyone of good character and willing
devote interesting kind of work There plenty
opportunity representative community
Remember with ability personality, or
friends than you possess going the fine rewards WHY
NOT YOU? Getting subscriptions and collecting renewals for
Maryland Independent offers splendid opportunity for you
make the weeks most important period life OPP
portunty is knoekngl Are you listening?
first week being devoted the important preliminary
Of organizing coaching campaign The actual business
seeking subscriptions has hardly begun so NOW the time enter
Don't delay Clip nomination and mail it in The
pagn manager will call you promptly Or phone the Independent
office. Or, better still, call in person.
weeks will carry the list of date will show
those who active and will give the first standings the
by candidate will be shown Who will take the
ly lead? Watch the Maryland independent
Read the fupage advertisement inside for complete details
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1934-02-09
Miss Florence Hawkins

Miss Florence Greenfield Hawkins
daughter OF the late DR.. Peter W. and
Rebecca Morton Hawkins, Of this County,
died atthe home of her brother, Mr..
Henry Holland Hawkins, on Friday.
Feb. End. Funeral services were con-
Quoted Sunday afternoon, Feb. 4th by
Rev. H. H. Bogert in Christ Church.
Interment lollowedin Mt. Rest Cemetery.
Miss Hawkins is survived by two
brothers. H. Holland Hawkins and
William Pinkney Hawkins, OF La Plata,
and the following neiees, Mrs. Mamie
Raper and Mrs, Ellen MacWillams, OF
Cumberland, Md, Mrs. Elizabeth Bailey
and Mrs, Margaret Freer. OF Baltimore,
Md, and Misses Elizabeth and Margaret
Hawkins, La Plata.
Miss Hawkins was sc years of age, and
alife long resident Of this County except
for period of seventeen years when
she resided in Washington.
Pallbearers were: ]. Harry Hawkins,
F. Hill Hamilton, W. Mitchell Digges
jefferson D. Robertson, Walter NJ. Page
and X. H. Lee Reich.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1934-02-09
Notice To Unemployed

IN order to get employment either
under G. W. A. or Public Works pro
jects it is necessary that you be regis
tered in this office. To those who have
not and wish to register l will be at the
following places for that purpose:
February 18th.
Welcome, 10 to Il Tactics Store
Gross Roads, u to2-Croft's Store.
Marbury, 8 to O-Twiford's Store
February 14th.
Newport, 10 to 11-Herbert's Store
Wayside II 80 to l--Tagman's Store
Rock Point to Hill Lloyd's Stors
February 18th
Waldorf 10 to 12-T. A. Middleton's
Pomonkey l 80 to Jameson's Store
Indian Head 3 TO 4:30-C. E. Wright IS
February 10th
Bryantown 10 to 12-Summer's Store
Benedict to 2-Dudley's Store
Hughesville 2:30 to4:30-Quade's Garage
Beverly H. Barnes, Manager,
Unemployment Office,
La Plata, Maryland.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1934-02-09
To Our Subscribers

During our Prize Circulation Cam.
paign one or more of the workers will
probably call on you in regard to
your subscription. We have made every
effort to see that your account is cor
rectly rendered. However, mistakes
will creepin when over tive We landred
accounts have to be made up. If the
statement given you does not agree
with your figures, well gladly adjust
it.
Postal rcgulB IONS cali for subsci ip
tionsl 10 sale IL advance. Accounts
are being gwen, 10 most cases, pay
ing the subscriptions up until 1885
Your cooperation in settling on this
basis will be greatly appreciates,
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1934-02-09
Painful Accident

DR.. Johns. Cunningham car skidded
when he was returning from the West.
ern Section of the County to his Office
here the latter part of last week, and
crashed into bank, Besides dorine
considerable damage to the car, Di
Cunningham suffered bruised shoulder
and minor decorations above the eye,
DIR. Cunningham went to Baltimore tc
have his shoulder ex-rayed. thinking 3
bone may be fractured.
We are indeed sorry to learn of the
accident but are glad to state that DR.
Cunningham has reaumed his duties al
health officer as the ex-ray showed ne
serious injury to his shoulder.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1934-02-09
Home Economics News
From Glasva High

The Home Economics class has
elected their officers for this year. The
following officers were eleciel:
President, Dora Farrell. Vice Presi-
dent, Henrietta Martin, Secretary,
Viola Shorter, Treasurer, Helen Tip
petit, Reporter, Margaret Boarman.
We gave played entitled PA wants
Cushion" 1t was a success and
everyone seemed to enjoy it.
The Home Economics Girls gave a
tea to the high school and faculty on
Monday February 9th at IL a. m,
We were very fortunate in having
Henrietta Martin to pour tea and
Katherine Farr acted as hostess.
Sarah Wiley carried out her duties
of general manager.
Margaret Boarman. Reporter
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1934-02-09
Orphan Court

This Court met on Tuesday with a
full bench present. The following
business was transacted.
Warrent to appraise personal property
of ]. H. Roberts issued to j. W. Waring
and Thomas I. Owen.
Last will of G. W. Carpenter. deceasr
ed, filed tor probate.
Remuneration of Carrie Bell Carpenter
as to her right to administer upon the
estate OF George W. Carpenter, deceased
filed and application made by Mont
gomery A. Carpenter for letters OF
administration c. t. a. upon estate OF
said deceased; bond fixed at $1,000.
Application for letters Of administra-
ton upon the estate of Rudolph Simms,
deceased, made by Adrian Posey; bond
fixed at $1,000.
Ordered by the Orphans Court that
notice to creditors OF Executors or ad-
illustrators on all estates under $4,000
to be published in the Maryland lnde-
pendent and The FINEST Crescent alter
nately and that all said notices on
estates above chat sum be published in
both OF the above named papers; and the
Register Of Wills is authorized to sx.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1934-02-09

ing" diseases reported to the Depart
ment. in 1883. There are between fifty
and sixty diseases on the list; eight OF
the diseases to which children are parti-
cularly susceptible measles, scarlet
fever whooping cough, chicken pox,
mumps, diphtheria, German measles.
and the diarrheal ailments Of very young
children-were responsible for over 16,
900 of the cases of sickness reported, or
forty per cent of the total Children
weae largely represented in the totals
from other diseases, also, notably in in
fluenza and in the pneumonias.
One Of the great stumbling blocks.
"Dr. Riley said, lin the way OF the con
troll Of the diseases that spread from
person to person is what the health
officer calls the missed case-the case
that isn't reported. This often happens
in connection with mild attacks in
which the real nature Of the disease is
not understood. The illness is not
severe, the doctor is not called, and no
precautions are taken to prevent the
disease from spreading to others.
Every case Of catching d sease is
a possible source of danger to others
and an outbreak can spread just as
lreadlly from mild case as from {
more severe one. Because OF tht
close association of children in school.
and in their play, the catching disease!
spread among them, as a forest fire
spreads across the cumberland.
"Children's diseases could very truth
fully be labeled the damaging diseases
Very often they leave after-effects in tn,
way of damaged hearts or kidneys, O
they are the cause of other handicaps
On that account, such diseases are no
to be treated lightly. Whenever a chile
is droopy or below par, the safest thin,
for any mother to do, is to put the chile
to bed, keep the other children ava,
from him, send for the doctor and tt
follow his advice. In that way she vii
protect her own child and the rest of tn,
household. She will safeguard he
neighbours child as well.''
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1934-02-09
Wood Bowie

A quiet wedding Of interest to many
in this county was solomnized Sunday,
February 4th at p. m, in the Rectory
of st. Barnabus Church, Oxen Hill, when
Miss Irene Elizabeth Bowie became the
bride Of Mr.. Harry Fowler Wood, Rev.
W H. Heigham officiating.
Mrs. Wood is the daughter of Mrs.
Blanche G. Bowie and the late Harry
C. Bowie. She graduated from La
Plata High School in 1882 and since that
time has assisted her mother in conduct
ing her lunch room here She is an
attractive young lsdy and popular
member of the younger set Of the
County.
The groom is an industrious and pro-
gressive young man. For number Of
years he res ded in St. Mary's County,
later he came to Waldorf where he was
employed by Mr.. L. L. Parlett. AT
present Mr.. Wood resides here where he
has conducted his own plumb bling and
heating business for the last few years
Mr.. and Mrs. O'Neil Bowling were the
only ones present at the wedding, they
acted in the capacity OF witnesses. The
young couple will reside in La Plata fol
the present.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1934-02-09
News From Southern Section Of County

Mr., and Mrs, Ryran Ames, of Foulk-
ner are happy over the arrival of fine
baby boy.
Mr.. and Mrs Doyne Wills and family
of Bel Alton spent Monday in St. Mary's
County.
Mr.. Vincent Goldsmith, Of Washing
ton, paid visit to friends and relatives
in Faulkner on Monday.
Col frank Keech, of New York is
spending Sometime at ''Keechland" the
home OF Mr.. and Mrs. Carlisle Turner
Popes Greek.
Mrs. Thomas NJ. Carpenter. of New
burg spent Monday in Washington,
Mr.. H. S. Swami spent several day
in Baltimore during the week.
Mr.. Cleveland Hardesty and family
formerly residents at Bunker His
Farmer" below Faulkner have moved to
Newburg and are enjoying brand
new" home.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1934-02-09
c. w. A. Helps
County Merchants

Having talked to several merchants
in the county, we I'D that they claim
business during tic month OF January
of this year exceeCed that Of the same
month of last year due to the money
that has been put into circulation by
the G. W. A. Several merchants
claimed that while business has not
been any better, neither has it been
any worse. as it would have been lift
was not for the money put into circula-
ton in the county by the Government.
The C. W. A. started here on Dec.
4th and since that time until the first
Of this month has given employment
to 492 persons through the local county
projects and the Federal projects In
the county. We have been informed
that s37.2s1.9O has been pat into cir
culation through the c. W. a.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1934-02-09
SERVICES FOR TRINITY PARISH
Month of February

Trinity Chapel, Old Fields: Sam
first third Sundays, s a m,
Church School;
Trinity Church. Newport; II a. N.
Church School 10 am
Trinity Church, Newport: cam,
second and fourth Sundays, Church
School 10 am Trinity Chapel, Old
Fields; IL a. m, Church School 10
a. m
Holy Communion first and second
Sundays.
Lenten Services beginning Ash We'd
nesday, February 18th: Old Fields,
7:SO p. M, Wednesdays; Trinity Church
7:S0 P. m, Fridays.
All are cordially invited.
J. Letcher Shovel, Rector
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1934-02-09
Grand Circulation Campaign
Wins Public Approval. Many
Popular Entrants Announced
Several Districts Not Yet Represented. First
Credits Shown Next Week.

Who will be the winners of The Maryland Independents Grand
$500 Prize Circulation Campaign and Popularity Election? This
ceng question going to be asked again and again turnout Charles
county as the drive progresses
Will one of those listed below carry off the coveted prizes will
they go to candidates not yet entered?
Despite and cold there than of candidates
from the county, and others coming in daily.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1934-02-09
The La Plata
Community Club

The La Plata Community Club held
its January meeting in the Library
January 25th. Twenty-Five members
attended including four new m mbers.
After the business meeting, Mrs. F. W.
Hopper read splendid paper on the
history of the annual Christmas Tree
Celebration which is sponsored by the
La Plata Club and the La Plata Volun-
teer Fire Department. Miss Mary
Graham gave an enlightening demonstra
ton on Home management.
At tie conclusion of the meeting tea
was served by the Hostess Committee.
The next meeting will be held in the
library Thursday February 22nd.