The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1934-07-18
TheAmateur Gentleman
By Jeffrey FarnoI

E is that. sir-so e is-a giant.
Ell, sir2"
"A giant YES, and handsome tool"
said Barnabas.
Wy you're a sizeable cove your
self. sir" nodded Mr.. Shrig, but you
amt much alongside my pal the
Corp. are you? IN naturally proud
Of i'm, d. We see. for t were me as
saved i'm"
Saved him from what? How?"
Ne being only a smallish chap
myself, I've allus 'ad a ankering
arter stable cOves. But I never
seen a finer figger Of a man than
Corporal Dick-height, six foot six
and a quarter. chest, ffty-eight and
narf. and sire were a-going to
drownd it all in the river, all along
o. losing his and and being drove
out o. the army, v'ich would ha'
been a great waste Of good material,
as ye might say, seeing as there's
so much of i'm.
1T vas a dark night, the night
found i'm, With Wind and rain, and
there vos me and i'm a-grappling
on the edge of a vharf-leastvay
we're a-holding onto is leg, d. We
see-ah, and a mortal ard struggle
it we're too, and IN the end I didn't
save i'm arter ALL
What 90 YOU mean?"
n
7 MEAN as it we're i'm as saved
Il me. for v'ot With the Wind, and
the rain, and the dark, We lost our
footing and over We vent into the
river tOgether-doWn and down till
I thought as We should never come
up again, but We did. O. course, and
then, jest as ard as e d struggled
TO throw 'imself in. e fought to get
pet me out, so it we're i'm as really
saved me, d We see?"
No" said Barnabas, 1t was you
who really saved him"
vi I'm as glad as you think so,
sir, only d We see. I can't swim, and
it vOs i'm as pulled me out. And
it all come along OF i'm losing is
'and-cOme nigh to breaking is
cart to be discharged. it did
Poor fellowl" said Barnabas, land
how did he lose his hand?"
Wy. I could tell you, or you
could read of it in the Gazette-jest
three or four lines O. printing-and
they've spelt is name wrong at that,
curse EN-! But Corporal Dick can
tell you best. Let i'm. Ere e
comes, Wit a steaming brew o. the
Vun and Only"
And indeed. at this moment the
corporal re-entered, bearing a jug
that gave forth a most enticing and
delicious aroma, and upon which
Mr.. Shrig cast amOrOus glances,
what time he reached three glasses
from the marshalled array on the
shelves.
And now, sitting at the small
table that stood in a snug corner
beside the chimney, Mr.. Shrig, hav-
ing filed the three glasses with all
due care, rendered one to Barnabas
with the words:
Jest give that a snuff with your
Sneezer, sir, - there S perfume,
there s fragrance for yel There
amt a man in London as can brew
a glass O rum-punch like the corp,
though e as only got vun and.
And now, Corporal Dick, afore We
begin, three steamers
"Ay. for sure, Jarsper!" said the
corporal; and opening a small cor
ner cupboard he took thence three
new pipes and a paper of tobacco.
VIII you smoke, sir" he inquired
difIidently of Barnabas.
Thank you, yes, corporal" said
Barnabas. and taking the proffered
pipe he filled and lighted it.
Now when the pipes were in full
blast, when the One and Only had
been tasted. and pronounced by Mr..
Shrig to be up to the mark" he
nodded to Corporal Dick with the
words:
Tell our young gent 'ow you lost
your and, corp"
DUT hereupon the corporal
ID frowned. shuffled his feet.
strOked his trim whiskers with his
hook, and finally addressed Barna-
has.
4 aren't much of a talker. sir
and 1t aren't much Of a story, but
if you so wish"
TO Be Continued