The Waterbury Democrat., 1934-04-20
''Not Like Children
By JAMES WILLIAM FITZPATRICK (From April 21 Issue of "America")

lgo. But no more. Tn life went out of it."
 "Why didn't you get it fixed ?''
 "Not that kind of life." he snort ed in disgust. T mean 'twaft | real no more"
 Don't you miss it?" I asked, | thinking how few pleasures there were in his toil- burdened life.
 q miss tn program I liked best" he confessed, "th' one with | them Canadian constables in 1t. Say, we've chased murderers and robbers and rum runners all over tn Northwest, me and them mouil- ties, and I never set foot outa my kitchen. They used to make mo forget tn price of milk and tn hens not layin' and what all. And I swapped it all just to satisfy my curiosity. Gimme a little of that throat oil sos can tell you how 1t happened"
 l Last summer I was in. th' city visitin' my nephew he began, af- ter I had provided the throat oil. Hes got a job in one of them broadcastin' stations and nothins wouldn't do him but I must go along to see a program sent out.v
 q should think 1t would have been a treat" I suggested.
 Son, nothin' ain't a treat that you have to pay for" he retorted. We went to real theater with all tn fixin's and a audience. They wasn't no tickets and you had to be invited to get in. They wasn't no curtain between us and tn actors. Just big sheet of glass you could see and hear stage and tn fellah feadin' 'em had on what thought was sawed-off nightshirt. My nephew said 1t was a smack"
 "Smock," I corrected
 "All this tooters had on--- smocks-too, and tn fellah beatin' tn drum he had on a tam 0 shan ter extra. My nephew said 'twastl.t t T m-o-shantcr, twas berry. Tn leader, he stood up on what you and med call a box but 1t turned out to be podium from what my nephew whispered to me, and rapped with a stick and tn band played a piece. Then tn actors they started in. Right there I knew I was in for it. Blamed if tn program wasn't tn one with my mounties into 1t. Tn actors, tn hull kit and biIin' of 'em, was dressed up in stiff shirts and open vests just like walters. They wasn't red coat nor hoss to be seen. Tn drum beater with the berry on he was everythin', seemed I like. Tn hosses all kept runnin' back and forth from one side Of tn platform to tn other like mad. and crawlin' on their hands and knees under tn microphone. Seems tn constables they was huntin' n couple bad Indians that had killed another mountie. Tn drum beat CT he was tn Indians too. Least ways he did all tn whoopin' and carryin' on for em'. Finally tn constables snuck up on tn cabin Iwhere tn Indians were a-hidin' and tn to-do commenced. Everyona was hollerin', tn band was playin' like thunderstorm, and the drum beater was like to go crazy whoop- in' and firm off pistols and barkin' like tn sled dogs. Funny thing about tn pistols. Tn drum beat CT he'd fire one pistol for tn, constables and two others for the Indians. I told my nephew seemed like one pistol oughta do for the lot but he said no, that tn direc- tors on tn radio was strong for detail, whatever that is. We'll, they shot tn Indians at last, two actors lay down on the platform. and then you wouldn't believe what happened"
 q can believe anything told him bitterly. What did they do, all get up and sing Comrades 2"
 These Indians they had a squaw along with 'em and when they was shCt this squaw had to do some mournin' to show how sorry ho was," he resumed. When that squaw walked out to do her mour- in what do you spose? They was a gal standin' round doin' nothin' while the actors was actin, lookin' like was she goin' to be arrested for chicken stealth she was 50 serious. Bout twenty she was and she had on q white fur coat down to her heels, set of ear rings that come down to her shoul- der blades, and a moith like H ripe red pepper. I thought she was tn wife of some actor hangin' round for him to get thorugh but she wasn't. She was tn squaw. When she got all set to mourn she let go her fur coat and she had on a black velvet dress all cov- cred with spangles. It didn't have no back into it and not much front and no ..nore shimmy shirt than you got on this minute. She wasn't like no squaw I ever heard of without no blanket nor mocca- sins. But she could yelp. Tn screech she let out of her would wake all tn dead Indians from here to Manitoban. Then she puts on her fur coat and bowed out to us like she'd done somethin', and tn thing was over."
 And" I prompted.
 "That's all," he said sadly. "It'a been quite job for me not to tune in down to tn house nights when things ain't goin' so good and I can't stand 1t no longer and get ready to listen I just can't make myself believe in 1t no more. All I can think of is lot of walters playin' they was Canadian con- lstables and gals without no shimmy shirts pretendin' they're grief strick squaws."
 "It only goes to show that the radio people are killing the H. fusion of broadcasting the same as the theatrical producers killed the illusion of the theater," complained. But you can't tell them anything"
 q don't aim to try" he smiled as he reached for tile wickerbound jug to prepare the nightcnps. "k got enough to tworry about with two sick heifers In tn barn. But 1t shows more'n what you think it does. It shows that they ainf no sex to curiosity, that ne and old Nils. slmmons E lick alike, and