Evening star., 1934-02-04

topics OF discussion whenever Lle lduicS
assemble to double and redouble.
1t is no mere snobbshness which inspires
this prattle about the hired help but genuine
interest When Mr.. Smith -Smythe relates an
anecdote about her second maid she does it not
to remind her listeners that she is the fortunate
pOssessor OF a second maid, but simply to enter
tain them as she herself was entertained her
listeners understand this for they have similar
stories of their own to tell as soon as she gets
through with hers.
Musical comedy has made familiar with
the eavesdropping butler and the keyhole-
peeping parlor maid. In real life, however,
the drift Of curiosity is in the opposite dnec-
ton. Cinderella is moving in reverse, and
the kitchen is the social center of the home.
DUT even the kitchen is losing some OF its
= glamour, what with the numerous labor
saving devices designed to eliminate the human
element in housekeeping 1t is impossible to
grow ecstatc over the cute sayings Of an auto
matte refrigerator And in modern apart
ment where the domestic staff is not 80 TO
speak, in residence, the opportu for sur
veillance are few. Servants who do not sleep
in" are the subject of much conjecture on the
part Of their employers.
There is nothing more fascinating and at
the same time exasperating, than the one
sided telephone conversations overheard in the
hall. In a one-teephone household they are
inevitable. We used to have maid named
Ruby who inevitably got phone call during
dinner Phoebe and I always waited breath
lessly on the of1-chance that it might be for
one Of us-though we knew it wouldn't be.
And when Ruby said, as always, "Oh, it's
you, is it?''-we were theoretically free to re-
sumo the flashing give-and-take Of sophisti-
Gated repartee which characterizes our table
talk under normal circumstances. We we're
at liberty to rattle our knives and forks, laugh
heartily. In fact, that is exactly what we
should have done, out of respect for Rubys
privacy.
But somehow did. We handled
our silverware noselessly; chewed softly
Or not at ALL We were, as Mahatma Gandhi
would say, all ears. have one of the
most brilliant conversationalists of his time
(which is about 2:30 ann pause with an epi-
gram stiborn on his lips and wait reverently
until Ruby had hung up.
1t wasn't what heard that intrigued
US; it what we didn't hear. Ruby'S
side Of the dialogue consisted entirely Of SIM
pie mOnoSyllabc affirmative uttered at infre-
guent intervals. Occasionally as sort OF
variation on the theme of yes, she said no"
But that didn't help us much.
VET Phoebe and both felt that eventually
] she would break Down under our telepathc
cgoss-questoning and let fall revealing word
or two. But only once we're we vouchsafed
q glimpse of what lay behind the veil. That
was when, after a long succession of yesses
and noes. Ruby suddenly interrupted the
rhythm of her responses by saying, Who
murdered who?"
The effect was electrifying. During the
silence that followed Phoebe and 1 remained
frozen at attention. "Where did they find
the body?" Ruby demanded presently. There
was another pause Il see said Ruby. Yes
. . Yes" Mo- "G'by"
The receiver was clicked on the hook and we
heard her tiptoe away to the kitchen. That
was all.
Although Ruby remained with us for several
months thereafter, never found out who
murdered who, where they found the body.
She offered no information and we couldn't
very we'll ask her. 1t was rather relief when
she left But still wondering.
The remedy of course, is to install sepa-
rate telephone for the maid in another part
of the house. And that was what we did
when Serena succeeded Ruby. I'VE had
French phone put in the kitchen; it was
enameled green TO match the handle Of the
bread knife, and it was for the exclusive use
of Serena. At the same time also had an
electric bell wired to push button under the
rug so that Phoebe could summon Serena to
the dining room without imperSonating an
auctioneer. Serena had difficulties with the
French phone from the very first. She could
never decide, on the spur of the moment, which
end was which. To add to her confusion the
door bell, the dumbWaiter, the two telephones
and the dining room bell all sounded much
alike to any one with an unframed ear-and
Serena's ears were unframed as well as un-
trammeled. At every tinkle she dashed to
and fro like a guillotined pulIet until she had
traced the sound to its source. We sympa.