The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1934-09-03
Manners and Morals
BY JANE JORDAN

say a word to anybody. He doesn't
even talk to the neighbors unless
they say something to him. Now if he
would say something to my brother
instead of preparing his bullets for
me to shoot into my brother it would
be altogether different. 1t is pretty
hard to tell your oWa brother to get
out when he is alone in the world
Besides he is tubercular and an ex-
soldier.
My brother hasn't stayed with us
but very little since mother died
It wouldn't be but about three
months in all. At different times he
paid me something. But, of course
I'm like my husband. I feel that
I'm not able to keep him, although
1 feel sorry for him since he's my
own. When my brother was here,
which he is not now the minute he
would step out of the house the
meaner the things my husband
could say to me the better it would
suit him. He reaches for the first
remark that will register. These idle
words go deep into the heart.
ought to go around for years with
out saying anything to him until he
classes me as a human being and
shows me at least a little respect
and consideration. G. H. P.
Answer like the tone of
your letter, which is quiet and
reasonable and free from invec-
tive. With such an attitude you
should be able to iron out your
troubles at home if your husband
meets you half way. With your
permission shall try to interpret
you to your husband.
In the first place, Pat, you are
right. You are not responsible for
your r-in-law. Your wife
agrees with you that you are not
able to keep him. Now if you are
right, and your wife agrees with
you, what has caused all this
trouble?
The fact is that although your
premise is right, your method is
wrong. The harsh word, the ILL
humored rem rk, invariably
rouses the resistance of the per-
son to whom it is directed and
makes it practically impossible
for that person to cooperate.
Women are wounded to the
quick by unkind, surly treatment
from their husbands, but they are
exceptionally responsive to ten
derness. Men are proverbially
dumb in their efforts to dominate
women by sheer verbal force.
When one endearing term con-
tains so much power, why waste
your breath in ranting and raw
ing?
Perhaps it was your w4fe's duty
to tell her brother he could not
look to you for support. But if
you had any real understanding
or sympathy for the protective
feeling she has toward a younger
and somewhat weak brother, you
could have taken this painful duty
off her shoulders and had firm,
but kindly talk with the young
man yourself.
If your sole motive for driving
the brother out is the fact that
you can not share your limited
income with him, it should not
have embarrassed you to face him
With the facts instead Of flashing
your wife to ALLEVIATE him by being
obedient to your commands. As it
is you make me wonder whether or
not you are jealous of the strength
of the family tie between brother
and sister.
Dear Jane Jordan-I am engaged
to marry a boy the latter part OF
September. When ne starts home
each night he tells me to phone him
the next day. do, but he is hardly
ever home. I ask why he doesn't call
me instead, but he says he forgets
to or can't remember me. Don I
you think this is rather odd? If he
can't remember me before our mar
riage, what will it be like afterward?
Nj. F. >.
Answer-If the young mans
emotion was of sufficient intensity
he wouldn't forget you. An indif-
ferent lover is sure to make an in
different husband. If you don't
think you can put up with neglect,
now is the time to withdraw.