The Waterbury Democrat., 1934-12-15
In New York
BY PAUL HARRISON

New York = The drama season is pretty we'll advanced, and this correspondent hasn't said word about theater manners. The omis- sion was not an oversight, but an example of restraint.
 After all, I am neither pal nor disciple. of any etiquette teacher, and maybe do not know what constitutes etiquette in. the the;- ter. If dowager Social Register ties push, shoulder. jab to the soar plexus with elbows, step on toes, blow cigaret snake in other pe,,- ple's faces, come in late, converse audibly during the action of pl;: block the aisles, and tear tn programs into confetti = if t.t ; do these things, then it must that am still an uncultured yohs ].
 The evidence tends all the mo"e to the unflattering conclusion be- cause of the differences in bciI;."- for of ermine-and-boiled shirt first nighters and people who attend after the shows have settled into their ruins. The latter conduct themselves with a singular re- serve, or else in ignorance of the jolly amenities of toe-smashin.s./ rib-gouging and sibilant whisper ings. Really smart people go to opening nights and wear their bruises proudly as proof that they can take 1t.
 Fixing the Blame
 Ordinary theatergoers are -puz- zled by a curious first-night cus- tom of arriving late, but per haps we do not fully appreciate that they are encouraged in this by theater managers who never start their shows on time. and by authors who seldom put anything of significance into the first half of the initial act. Of course, an entrance in darkness, which in wolves disturbing people in the in- tervening seats. prevents one from recognizing and hallooing to friends. But this can be remedicd during the two intermissions. The scrimmage line toward the lobby forms as the first curtain descends. By the time you have reached 1t you must have some sort of wise-crack prepared, be- cause the first person you meet Is bound by convention to ask: Well. what do you think of it?"
 It's no fair saying: "Oh. good in spots. What do you htink of it?" Such tactics are considered hitting in the clinches. If the play happens to be "Valley Forge" you might respond: Its valley for. tunate that they've got Merrivale playing George Washington" Or something like that.
 
 It Takes Talent
 There is a surprisingly easy fraternity about first-night lob- bying. Or so 1t seems. Almost inevitably the celebrities find their arms linked with those of unim- portant people whose names they cant quite recall. Attractive wo- men, daringly gowned. find 1t pos sible to create a pleasant stir by appearing in colored goggles of the Garbo type. Then. as the autograph seekers cluster around. I'm not anybody. Nobody at all. How flattering that you've mis- taken me for a cinemah stah." A few minutes after the buzzer has ended an intermission, the SOHNAASAJ SOAASNb pNOPAC AhONC tH- to formation known as the Aisle Huddle. This involves standing in groups and preventing other peo- pie from reaching their seats. As the lights grow dim, the most ac- complished huddlers will spot an- other group of friends and move toward them with ecstatic cries of My dears! We haven't seen you since day-before-yesterday!" The complete darkening of the theater. just before the footlights begin to glow. is a signal for a concerted rush of the aisle hud- dlers for their seats. This always gives rise to very amusing situa- tions not unlike the old game of pinning the tail on the donkey. Several couples become lost and stumble into the wrong seats. The people to whom the seats belong then slide in, giggled apologies are made, and both parties have to re- treat to the aisle in order to get strengthened out.
 Those are just few of the first night customs. But enough to ex- plain why a lot of us ordinary folk scarcely can hope to behave like our very best people.