The Waterbury Democrat., 1934-03-14

One of the mothers greatest al- lies in reaching a young child is suggestion. So peculiar are the mine centers and so quickly sus- picious of criticism or even direct telling, that they will receive im- pressions quite happily by sugges- ton that they would otherwise throw away at once.
 Suppose her mother wants Mary to learn to put her overshoes away in the hall closet each time she comes in. To show her how neatly the other rubbers are arrayed may do some good but probably not.
 One day she picks them up and personifies them. Quite casually she may say, "I am sure these friendly little fellows must think we haven't much heart leaving them to be worried and chewed by Peter. Anyway I think they get lonely away from their own fam fly. Babies always like~to be with their papas and mamas."
 Mary may regard her for awhile and not say anything, or she may pretend even not to notice at all.
 borders" Often Fail
 But the next time there is a good chance she will open the clos- ct door and put them away her. self. It may take several times, or even another approach altogether, but something is more likely to come of 1t than straight mem- ory. When combined with sug- gestions it is almost unbeatable.
 There is nothing wrong with 8 direct order. It is not necessary to think that no small child can stand a direct command. He should and there is no great need always to explain to him "why" either. Unqualified obedience has It's ne. cessary place in all child-parent re- lationships. But it often fails for clear reason. With small children these reasons are many and varied. They forget, or they are deeply in- terested in something else, or their attention is off wool-gathering. Sometimes when they are told to do too many things they become apathetic and careless from too much to remember, or just plain resentment.
 Suggestion of certain kind, however, is more harmful than good. This is particularly true of the child surrounded by. adults with their peculiar tastes. Try to get child to eat food that nobody else will touch. Or try to get him to wear a suit like the neighbours boys that everyone at home has laughed at. It may not be like it but if he thinks it similar it's out for him. Or if he hears much about sickness, he may even begin to use that as an excuse not to do things. "I don't fell well," he begs off.
 Children are great imitators. The power of suggestion combined with interest is at work here. The con- duct of the family will reflect al- most instantly in 8 child's man. ners, his speech, his tastes and his behavior. This is why environ ment plays such a part in life.
 Time for Suggestion"
 Later, his judgment or personal preferences may combat it to some extent if he notices defects, or the opposite may happen. He may be developing unfortunate character istics by outside contacts and throw off right home influence. We have another problem here. However, suggestion in its acc tive sense can be used nicely and happily. The time chosen is i'm portant. It usually fails if the child has set up a determined wall of refusal already. No use in turn ing diplomatic in the middle of tantrum or a stubborn spell. And it won't do much good if he is deeply interested in something else at the time. It is part of a mothers equipment in something to be used with judgment. She will come in time to know.
 Care must be taken as the child hears six not to underrate his fact" sense. Suggestion cannot then be too obvious or have the flavor of "fooling."