The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1934-03-02

| pace with each other, unless they
have vital outside interests which
they share with enthusiasm, their
marriage grows stale and decays.
The situation can be saved If
your wife can be made to under
stand what is happening. You can
help her by recognizing that he1
trouble lies in her fear Of new eX-
periences more than in an I'M
willingness to please you. Her
jealousy of you shows that already
she is keenly aware of your dis
content and feels extremely inse-
cure in her position. But she
doesn't know what to do about it.
Encourage her in the belief that she
has the ability to make her home
the gathering spot of interesting
and worth while people. You have
told me that she is a beautiful
woman, but have you taken the
trouble to tell her? Instead of baby
ing her so much, build up her self
confidence and make her feel ade-
quate to new social contacts. I'm
less a woman is thoroughly aware
of her own value to the man that
she loves, she can not feel at ease
in any situation. 1t is possible that
with the proper reinsurance from
you, she may surprise you with her
hidden potentialities.
Dear Jane Jordan-Dont you
think it is foolish for girl to
write notes to boy letting him
know that she is crazy about him,
especially when he doesn't pay
any attention to her? She is Is
and 1 am II. I don't want to
hurt her feelings by telling her
that if I want to see her, know
where she lives.
She is a nice girl and really
quite differen from most girls her
age, and if she wasn't so easy to
get, might want her. How does
she know but what my mother
will read her soft notes? If a
girl knew it, she is appreciated
more if she keeps fellow guess
ing. When she is overly anxious
boy loses interest. In other
words. he wants to do'the running
himself. 1 do hope the little girl
in question will read this.
DISGUSTED.
AnSWer-It'S a very foolish girl
who takes away from the male the
divine right to do his own chasing.
I believe you're more attracted to
the girl and flattered by her atten-
ton that you like to believe, but
she has violated your conventional
masculine concept of the way a
girl should behave. You like her
enough to be embarrassed for her,
even though she isn't embarrassed
for herself.
A man is prepared for a certain
amount of resistance from his lady
love, and when he doesn't get it he
is completely baffIed. He planned
a certain course of behavior in
which he was to come out the vic
tor, When there is no call for a
conqueror, he feels cheated
Dear Jane JOrdan-My husband
and 1 were married a year ago.
We are II and 10. Soon after we
were married he was laid off with
a lot of others We then went to
live with my parents. My father
and mother both have good jobs,
and only four children, but my
father curses us and treats us
terrible. He says my husband does
not try to get job, but he does.
My husband and 1 90 every bit
of the work, both inside the house
and outside. We can not possibly
stay with my in-lawS as they abb
Solutely can not afford us. My
father says he will kick us out,
but my mothers says if we go, she
goes. too. So you see that causes
a disturbance between them.
have worried until I am nearly
crazy. Won't you please help us?
WORRIED.
Answer-PoSsibly your attitude
eXaSperates your father more than
the aid he gives you. You still ex-
pect somebody to take care Of you
and be glad to do it. 1t hasn't quite
dawned on you yet that you are a
wife and not a daughter. You feel
helpless in the face of economic
stress, and expect your father to
stand between you and adult re-
sponsibility.
The only possible solution is for
you both to find jobs. I can not
help you do this, but I believe that
you can do it for yourselves. When
you look upon yourselves as grown
ups instead of children deserving
the protection of your parents, you
VIII put more energy into the search
for independence.