davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Waterbury Democrat., 1934-10-12
ChuckleCorner
YOU KNOW FEM By Douglas Goodrich

The fellow from the West End who, because he said .Awl Good Night!" to the cop, had to say Good Morning" 10 the judge.
 The Newtown one-time rich guy who now delivers for Q bakery so he can still go around with his rolls.
 Also the travelling salesman who ogles girls from a Smithviile hotel window so that Willie Nilly has taken to calling him "The Snare Drummer
 And the inquisitive old lady on Park street Willie refers to as "The Town Pump"
 The ex.tonsoriai artist from Gen. fer street. now working at a soda fountain, who says he keeps his hand in by shaving the ice. facetiously remarked, '"rhat's one he Is improving in technic.
 And that cop in the second ward who, as he hit the guy with q billy, facetitously remarked, That's one rap you gotta take.
 The oakvilie kid so spoiled he Is always fresh. f
 Also the South End boarding house landlady who says she cer- tainly serves a lot of prunes.. (Per- sonaily we think the gink who sits on our right is q crab.)
 And not forgetting the yap from the East End who went to see a Spanish Fandango>at a carnival. and wanted his money back pe- cause the gal didn't use a ran.
The Waterbury Democrat., 1934-10-12
Press Comment
DOUBTS OR DOUGHNUTs? Christian Science Monitor)

The pessimist has been defined as one who sees the hole instead of the doughnut. To him there can be nothing particularly joyous about the proposed observation of October ass National poughntt month in the United States. For this has exposed Americans eat a million dozen doughnuts day and thus encouraging total produce ton of three or four hundred mil. lion dozen holes year.
 It Is nearly always possible. though, to turn the pessimists : statement back on him. Some or the worlds troubles today are traced to the absence of new froF'. tiers. 10 surpiuseg of stun that must be consumed, to undercon- sumption of OverprOducfion. Frpn- tiers? How about the vide open spaces that could be provided Just by putting all the doughnut holes edge Co edge? eurpiusesT Maybe but part of every doushnut disap- pears Of its own accord when prop
 Ana no doubt we can And some. where in this line Of rsasoaing - 2. explanation of the aonHbuts POP. iIaFlty among Americans. ynis people wants co DO fQfefpf Hrnist- lnf. lt is not enough @ HH*e 49- yeIoped something 70 q fenahfkanls deEfee; there must eliII ts room (ot impfeyemeaL, is ttet #hF tht
The Waterbury Democrat., 1934-10-12

Place names in the United States are now to be decided upon by special com mission recently named by Secretary of the Interior Harold L. Ickes. It is known as the advisory committee of geographic names and it's decisions will be binding and no name goes on federal map with out it's authority. One reason for forming the group is to simplify place names. For example, if certain town or locality wants to perpetuate a name, it must make application to the above committee. What about state authority in this matter? Our natural reaction would be that the con- mission could not authorize the change in any name without first having received notice that the state Legislature had like wise given it's consent. It does seem as if state approval would also be of some i'm portance between changing place names on any map, local, state or federal.
The Waterbury Democrat., 1934-10-12

Washington, oct 12.-Presi- dent Roosevelt has under seri- ous consideration a nationwide program for railroad grade- crossings as a 1894 substitute for last winters CWA.
 Cost of the vast project :s ten- tatively estimated at $1,000,000,. 900. Seventy-five per cent of the money, it is figured, would go direct to the pocket of labor.
 Besides the controlling factor of appreciably reducing unenn- ployment rolls, the grade-cross. ing program appeals to the presi- dent for several other reasons.
 First, he feels that the wide- spread installation of such safe- guards have long been urgent. ly needed in American railroad transportation.
 Second, such plan would eliminate the criticism raised against the CWA that no con- structive work was accomplished.
 Under the plan, as being con- sidered by the president, the railroads would bear half the cost, with the government lend. ing the money.
 In other words, the govern- ment would put up the estimated $1,000,0 100000 necessary to fi- nance the great project. But the railroads, over term of years, would repay $500,00o.- 900.
 UNSHAKEN
 Texas gentle, hard-working Senator Morris Sheppard, author of the late 18th amendment, really believes that some day the United States will return to na- tional prohibitions.
 In fact Sheppard always has little anecdote on the tip of his tongue to drive home his convic- tion. This Is his latest:
 A teacher called on one of her pupils for sentence containing the word "diadem".
 People who drink moon- shine" the lad promptly rattled off, "die a dam sight quicker than those who don't"
 LEGION CONVENTION
 Administration leaders have been privately advised that the American Legion will do the folr lowing at Its Miami convention:
 1. Elect as national coin- Inander, Frank N. Belgrano, Jr, San Francisco banker and republican.
 2. Side-step a declaration in favor of immediate payment of the bonus.
 While the inside word is one of assurance to the administra- ton regarding the final outcome on the bonus issue, it Is admitted that there will be sharp fight ing over the question on the con- cention floor.
 The bonuseers will go into the battle with a pledged
The Waterbury Democrat., 1934-10-12

of congressmen. They are throw- ing out income tax returns in which congressman claim ex- emption for travelling expenses at the full rate of ten cents 8 mile.
 Ten cents Is the basis on which members are paid. But, the collectors point out, ten cents is not the actual cost. 1t is about three times the actual cost. They will allow only the exact railroad fare to and from Wash ington plus one lower berth.
 This is hard on congressmen. For years they have deducted for members of the family, for clerks, for government busi- ness, for extra trips to and from the capital.
 Travelling expenses of q major ity of members run above their allowance, according to the ser geant-at-arms. Yetlif the total allowance for all were divided equally among the 531 members of both houses, each would re- ceive approximately $315. For that money he could make two round trips from Washington to the coast.
 MERRY-GO-ROUND
 Comptroller General McCarl's slashing of the initial budget for the presidents tree belt from $15,000,000 to $1,000,000 has not halted the plans. The United States Forest Service. in charge of the york; has opened field headquarters at Lincoln. Nch., and started working. It antici- pates appropriation of the neces- sary funds when congress con- venes Colonel Horatio B. Hackett, housing chief of PWA, was a famous football star in his youth--West Points ace halfbackygin 1903. Hackett has kept up his interest in foot ball, umpires many big games. . .. The Securities Exchange Commission IS passing up no bets. in keeping it's eye on the boys in Wall Street. It has ordered installed in it's offices the same Stock Exchange tickers used in brokerage offices =. General Hugh Johnson's forthcoming book will not be entirely about the MIRA A portion of it will be devoted to his militray career, particularly that part of 1t relating tot he World war. Jim Reed once persuaded Bennett Clark to run for the sauafa now is silent regarding support for him. Meanwhile, however, Clark has captured [ good part of the old Reed ma chine in Missouri.
 Copyright, 1884, by United Fea-
 ture Syndicate, Inc.)
The Waterbury Democrat., 1934-10-12

e. From what Is caivesfoot jelly made?
 A. It is gelatin extracted from calves feet by boiling.
 .. Is the lime a natural or hy- brid fruit? A. It is natural.
 o. Is Philips Lord (seth Parker) actually cruising around the world?
 A. Yes.
 a. Is the title junior ever ap- piled to . woman with the iden- tical name of her mother?
 A. No.
 Q. where and when will the 1884 Army-Navy football game pc played.
 A. It is scheduled to be play ed December 1 at Franklin Field, Philadelphia.
 a. who was the first wife of Charlie Chaplin? Did they have any children?
 A. Mildred Harris was his first wife by whom he had one child who died.
 e. Who draws the "Joe links" cartoons?
 A. Pete Llanuza.
 e. Who is the United States Commissioner General of Immi- grafton?
 A. David W. MacCormack.
 c. What is the address of Mrs Calvin Coolidge?
 A. Northampton, Mass.
 O. sIIow deep are the diamond deposits in South Africa7
 A. It is not known how deep the deposits are in the producing areas, as the bottom has never been reached. There are mines from $500 to 4,000 feet deep, but little recovery is made from that depth. Beyond certain depth workings become poorer until at
The Waterbury Democrat., 1934-10-12
No Limit On Warships

London expects breakdown of naval limitation at the end of this year. There will be no more limits then on capital ships, established in the celebrated Treaty of Washington a dozen years ago. There may be breakdown of the moderate limi- tations on laval power provided by the London treaty of 1880. Japan is the trouble-maker. That countr wis expected to take the initiative in renouncing the treaty. She has been growingly restive under the rule holding her naval strength down to 60 per cent of ours and Britain's. She wants equality on the sea.
 It might take more than equality in naval tonnage to make Japan equal to Bri- tain or America on the sea. But let that
 pass As it looks now, there will be q free-for-all again in naval building. And it is great pity. Civilization moves back, ward. The less the nations want war, the more preparation they feel obliged to make for war. This is one of the two great con- flicts of modern civilization with common sense, the other being the growth of pov- erty along with the means of plenty.
The Waterbury Democrat., 1934-10-12

strength of 3Sh per cent of the convention vote. Fifteen state delegations have been directed to cast their ballot for some form of bonus-payment action.
 These departments" are Arr kansas, Illinois, Indiana, Min- nesota, Michigan, Mississippi, Missouri, ohio, Oklahoma, Louisiana, Rhode Island, South Dakota, Texas, Washington, and the District of Columbia.
 Despite this imposing bloc of bonus votes, however, the mas. ter minds of the vet 0rganiza. tion--who behind the scenes really run its affairs-are con. vinced they can stop . formal endorsement.
 They believe the majority of suaded that 1t Is against their interest to take such a strand at this time, that 1t would aitagorl- ize public sentiment, endanger the benefits for disabled veter- ans regained durin gthe last ses- sion of congress.
 WHITE HOUSE LAUGH
 Best recent laugh in a White House press conferences:
 NEWSMAN: "Mr President, are you taking any personal hand in the bombing of laps in Ari- zona ?"
 NEW CONSCIENCE
 Henry Morgenthau'sy Internal Revenue collectors are growing too conscientious for the comfort
The Waterbury Democrat., 1934-10-12
A Book a Day
Here's Manhattan As The Cameras See It
By BRUCE CAPTION

No aspect of the publishing business is more surprising than the sudden recent popularity of the picture book. We are begin- ming to discover that the photogra- pher makes an excellent reporter of the current scene. Suitably edited, his record can be more graphic and revealing than the written word.
 The newest book of this kind is "This Is New York" (David Kemp: $1), book of camera studies of the metropolis edited by Gilbert Seldes. It is a deeply in- teresting book. All angles of New York are here--docks, skyscrapers, white ways. slums, bridges. crowds, everything-the good and the bad. the glamorous and the ugly. pho- tographed in a, way to make one understand the beauty and the ter- TOT of this greatest and most con fusing of cities. It's a fine book. s
 If you like Dom Byrne you should enjoy 'The Laughing Journey" by Thomas Lennon (John Day: $2). It's a tale of iusty young men in the Ireland of c generation ago--fnen who fought and lovei and died with laughter on their lips and an in- finite zest for living in their hearts---and its told with q gay lit and an irrepressible huinor.
 Current literary gossip .. Thomas Wolfe's new novel is now. on the press, and 1t won't be of for some time. since 1t runs to 450.000 words--the length of i've ordinary novels 1. Alexander wooiicott's publishers bet him he couldn't lose c pound in weight for every thousand copies of his book, ''While Rome Burns" that are sold. To date he leads; he's lost 62 pounds since publication. and sales stand ct 4o.00o .. stephen Loacocl, best-known as q humorist, 10 coming out with q weighty tome on freedom and conspulsicn in education E. g. Van Dino has q big collection of gambling equipment, and he ins ducos his friends to play roulette. chuck k-a-luck, and SO on. at every opportunity. However. he gives aIl the profits Of "the house" to charity.
The Waterbury Democrat., 1934-10-12
In 1'o-day's Mail
MONOPOLY IS THE GREATEST EVIL OF TODAY
 Waterbury. Conn.
 Oct II, 1884.
Editor of The Democrat

Editor of The Democrat:--
 Your editorial in Thursday even ing's issue, Mass Production News papers," just about summed up the situation existing in every line or business today Everywhere today we see independent establishments in every line of endeavor giving way to chain systems. One need not travel from Waterbury to under stand what has taken place. Right in our own town we now nave chain store systems of every de- scription, such as haberdashery, women's apparel, jeWelry, candy' tobacco, liquor, drug, grocery, meat shoes dentistry paint, auto access sorry, gas and oil, furniture, ana the list could go on almost without end. But wish to add we also nave chain factories. If one travels to any other city or town in America, he will find a most monotonous repetition. Every city looks alike. individual character has given way to the chain system which IS aKih to mass production.
 What to do about it. Some s.ates have passed legislation taxing inaI- viduais or corporations Wno opsr- ate two or more stores in their state: a graduated tax wnicn m. oreases according to the number or storss operated. The idea being to discourage the abnormal growtn ot the uhaiIi system which IS enguif- inR all of America.
 rhs chain system may have cer- tain eood points but in the last annlysis it concentrates power into the hands of the few.
 Fortunately. your business as or such a nature that you can reach the public. Other lines of business. ,inat,le to educate the public, have been forced to quit,a You say m. vour editorial that Mf Willard sees fhe aay when every city will have but one paper, morning and eve- ming isslie operated by one manage meist, and Incidentally you remind Mr Willard that there are but two cities left in Connecticut havinE three daily papers.
 Seems to mo that you recognise the evils of mass production and chain systems q bit late. ff such Of the few remnining independent neWnpnpern an yours FecoHnizea these evils q few years afo--yoii lnifht have succeeded in educating the public Co demand that some restraint bo put on the srowth of monopoIys it may net De too late even nov. .Din lip eelHe nf the iegs ininiIen being tried elsewhere. believe 1nHiahn is ene af the states wording en shis problem.
 n. O. A
The Waterbury Democrat., 1934-10-12

Chemists working under the Department of Agriculture have discovered, so they claim, that domestic type of wine can be produced from our native citrus fruits. A cordial is also possible, according to their tests. The products to date include light wines, fortified liquors. The pur- pose is to provide an outlet for the citrus crop surplus, formerly turned into mar malades, soft drinks, and canned goods. The cost of producing citrus wine is about 32 cents a gallon. What would it be when the consumer got it, though?
The Waterbury Democrat., 1934-10-12

$500 to 1000 feet. deposits are rare. K. O. Name the dictators of Fur. Key. Hungary, Albania. Poland Persia and Yugoslavia.
 A, Turkey -- Ghazi Mustapna Renal Pasha; HungaryA Admiral von Horthy, Regent, Albania King Fog; Poland--Marshal Pii- sudski; Persia-Sha Risa Khan Phaievi: Yugoslavia--King Alex ander |, Assassinated this week in France.
 If you want q copy of onr
 bulletin STATE MARRIAGE
 LAWS, write to The Water
 bury Democrats Washington
 Bureau, enclosing i've cents m
 postage stamps.
The Waterbury Democrat., 1934-10-12
Selected Poem

TONIC (Arthur' Guiterman in the New York Times) When grieved with problems and woes and ills take my way to the friendly hills On old. companionate roads that wind Through field and forest; and there And That still the valleys are rich and green The air in good and the sky is cican The corn still marches in crested ranks Tho woods still wave on the mountain- Hanks Tho squirrel knows where his nuts are hid. The river flows as it always did, And the cows still RaEe in their old content In spite of human mismanagemont.
The Waterbury Democrat., 1934-10-12

up with politics has speedily dissipated. All men now believe that the idea is iia- tional one and not democratic or repub!i- can. It was born of the depression. It will live through the good days that are to come.
The Waterbury Democrat., 1934-10-12

Noel Coward likes us after all He's just acquired some property in Fairfield which will become his American home. Edna Ferber occupied the house prior to Coward taking possession of it. It's just another indication that New York is hoping to acquire Fairfield county if not by actual ownership at least by actual occupation of the land.
The Waterbury Democrat., 1934-10-12
H cope
BY ocTAvINE

For persons who believe that human destiny Is guided by the planets, this dalIy horoscope is out lined by a noted astrolOger. In ads ditien to information of general interests, 1t outlines Information of special interest tO persons born on the designatcd dates.
The Waterbury Democrat., 1934-10-12
Daily Washington Merry Go Round
BY DREW PEARSON and ROBERT s. ALLEN

-B PEARSON ROBERT g. ALLEN---- o MerryGo-Round' Replace CWA Contem-
 
  Deduct Fuu TruveF Fund frontIn
The Waterbury Democrat., 1934-10-12

A contemporary Pollyanna says it's a matter for thankfulness that the depres- sion and confusion afflicting the world are man-made and not due to nature," be- cause man can correct his own mistakes. Isn't that rather flattering assumption?
The Waterbury Democrat., 1934-10-12
oCToBER is

The day looks quite favorable. The morning is particularly So. # you are dealing with superiors, or officials of modern minded institu- tions. Tho morning Is favorable for elderly people and serious projects. The evening should bring enthusI- asm and interest in sports.
The Waterbury Democrat., 1934-10-12

Why is it that gown described in the ad as "priceless" always has too much price for the average person to pay?
The Waterbury Democrat., 1934-10-12

Give clever lawyers time and they can prove anything. Government lawyers have proved at last to a. Chicago court that John Dillinger was gangster.
The Waterbury Democrat., 1934-10-12
Questions And Answers The Democrats Washington Information Bureau
YouR aUEsTIoNs ANswERED

'
 
  l3xx spelesles nss s sasn G All sesed conadenta Yon are cordially v ~ o this tree service ss efsn ss son p THE
The Waterbury Democrat., 1934-10-12
FRIDAY, OCTOBER 12, 1884
A Thought for Today

Thou shalt be hid from the scourge of the tongue: neither shalt thou be afraid of destruction when 1t cOmeth.-Job, 5:21.
  We are ashamed of our fear; for we know that a righteous man would not suspect dam ger nor incur any. Wherever a man feels fear, there is an avenger.--Thoreau.
The Waterbury Democrat., 1934-10-12
Isitltl,dnte
Yau ahnuld hnYa arnat

You should have great power Of penetration, . Ion, You % should sa.i. advance ys.. il through Jan 20. ie3s: panEer Jan s@ through Jan 90, iets.social. Avoid signing papers of contracts san through Jan [. 7sss.
The Waterbury Democrat., 1934-10-12

Headers desiring additional ia. f1<fusfl0n flHnNIIilG llltiF h0H1s sool,rs are Invited Co ceumunicnle alIh oclssipe in cure of me fens. eeeFf. EncIo.q . cont ssAnibell
The Waterbury Democrat., 1934-10-12

(Copyright, 1884, by United Fea-
 ture Syndicate, Incl
Smyrna times., 1934-05-24
STATE SAFETY
COUNCIL NEWS
Uncontrolled Speed Always
Dangerous; Safe Speed De-
pends Upon Conditions
TEST THE BRAKES OFTEN

According to the Delaware Safe
ty Council, a great deal of atten-
ton has been given to the design
and production of automobiles that
will accelerate rapidly and travel
at high rates of speed for indefinite
periods of time. While speed in
itself may not be dangerous, un-
controlled speed is always danger
Gus. Obviously your automobile
must move at some speed to be
useful-but uncontrolled speed can
not be excused. Uncontrolled
speed is never necessary even in an
emergency, and endangers not only
your life but also the lives and
property of others. Your safe
speed depends upon driving condi-
tions and how quickly you can
stop. Effective brakes firm,
smooth road surfaces - good Wis
ibility increase the speed at which
you can safely drive - but, you
should always drive at a speed
slow enough that you can stop in
Smyrna times., 1934-05-24
SUNDAY DINNER
SUGGESTIONS
By ANN PAGE

THE season is advancing so rapidly
/ that every locality is beginning to
have its own early spring produce.
Beginning with the first dandelion
greens, rhubarb, asparagus. spinach,
radishes and young onions follow
each other in rapid succession until
summer is in full swing.
Fruits are plentiful Though the
season is closing on grapefruit, can
taloupe are arriving to replace them.
May is the month fer pineapples and
strawberries and they both make de-
licious preserves.
The salad of spring green's is both
appetizing and healthful and t b e
greater the variety of salad materials
the better it is.
The Quaker Maid suggests the fol-
lowing menus.
Low Cost Dinner
Liver and Bacon
Creamed Potatoes Cabbage Salad
Bread and Butter
Orange Tapioca
Tea or Coffee Milk
Medium Cost Dinner
Ham Slice Baked ii Milk
Baked Potatoes Chopped Spinach
Bread and Butter
Baked Caramel Custard
Coffee Milk
Very Special Dinner
Stuffed Celery
Roast Beef Drowned Potatoes
Harvard Beets
Green Salad Olive Dressing
Rolls and Butter
Strawberry Sherbet
Coffee Milk
Smyrna times., 1934-05-24

the distance that you can see TO
be clear-this is controlled speed.
You must see and you must be able
to stop. Test your brakes by ap-
plying them as you would when
making a quick stop, in the first
block you leave your garage, II
possible. When testing your brak-
es,look out for the car that may be
following you. This test applied
every time you leave your garage
will tell you whether the brake
mechanism of your car is working
satisfactorily. If the highways are
wet, the test will give you a work
ing demonstration of what you
may expect Of your car If you
should be forced to make an en-
ergency stop. An intelligent per-
son would not think of driving at
high rate of speed on slippery
roadways after making such a
test, because he would know that
he could not make a satisfactory
stop in an emergency. This SIM
pie test will prevent you from un-
knowingly driving with defective
brakes, or exceeding your safe
speed. Do you see as quickly as
others-or must you look more
closely? If you do not see quickly
you should have your eyes correct
ed or treated. If correction ol
| treatment does not bring your vi
sion as good as the average person
enjoys, you should not drive al
automobile. You cannot see quick.
ly when you are tired or worried
Fatigue dulls your senses. AS ia