The Waterbury Democrat., 1934-02-27
DPYQUR .CHILDREN
Dv Olme Roberts Bartoa
2. 6M5E MNf1 sfaYIcG. lll

0NWI| 0I W6W 0bNWeAMI sETE-ExPRESSION IS NECES-
 SARY IN DEVELOPING ChAh-
 DREN.
 Tn taking stock of him or herself every mother and ratner Wouio Ue wise to ask this question:
 "Am I trying to make my emu into nv own mold, or at least into
 vnat r ahouldI like to have been? Am unconsciously trying to curb every Opportunity for him to be himself? Am I selfish enough, through my extended personality to try to force him. to become what I am? In reality am convinced that my ideas are the only ldeas and that my way of living Is the only way to live and my way or thinking an dacting the only way too. Is this right?"
 There is no saying as wise as' "KnOw myself" Too few parents take the time to stop and examine into their own minds or to get at their own motives. Almost invarl- ably they will tell us they do 1t TOT the child's own good.
 The commonest mistake in all child rearing is for the parent to look upon himself as an oracle or rightness, - not goodness, but rightness.
 Feeling of "Rightness'
 All his life he has been getting set in habit, habit of living and of thinking. And by hard work, experience or opportunity has been shaped into the person he is. But there are millions of men and women to-day who are not happy in spite of it all. They look back and know that if less pressure had been brought to bear at home and they had had freer rein to be- comew hat they wished and do at least some of the things they wanted, they would be healthier and happier now. Yet so strong is this feeling of brightness" in the adult that these same unhappy parents usually tur naround and do the same thing to their own children. They can- not understand that their own hobbies may make poor horses for their offspring who differ in tenn perament. It does not necessarily apply to vocation, but this is often the largest rock in the reef. we dIc OutL LdSSu II OuL NliAioI Ch do not inherit our tastes. We are to our likes and dislikes and prej- udices altogether.
 We hate nation, race, a creed or a neighbor with what we smugly look upon as righteous hate" We think we are justified | because-well-"ha all our family for generations always felt this way?" So we try to instill into young Thomas or Mary the same poison. If he bolts and shakes | off our hand there Is trouble. We think he is insulting us and Is at least ungrateful.
 The Forcing Method By the same token we expect these children to like what we do, | admire and cultivate what to us is the acme of something. fl they | don't, we resort to the forcing method. It goes right along in almost every path of character building we can name.
 Of course we must set stand ards. And it is right to educate a | child to an appreciation of real culture and the real virtues. We must be sure these are not fic&i- tious. We can "condition" him by education to a certain place in life but in this he might be a1olwed choice.
 Each child in the world is first of all himself. Thew ise way is to get behind that self and develop 1t as we would a plant. We can- not make a rose into a lily, or an oak into an elm. There is no use I or good in frustrating either, just because they are of a different genus from the one we prefer.