The Waterbury Democrat., 1934-08-04
In New York
Rx PAUL HARRISON

New YOrk-1 our broduWay Soi respondent has been Worrylns lately about the unenJoyHeht problem. What with the neat, the bromidity and the general dullness of a season when everybody oushI to be taking 0 vacation anyway, have been going around among the cynical and the jaundiced storing up a lot of dandy antipathles,
 And so here is a selection or pet peeves:
 Night club masters of ceremony who spend an hour introducing people named Zilch and Blotz whom nobody ever heard or Night club managers who require their entertainers to sit at custom- CTS tables People who ex- ploit child prodigies Night club comedians who try to disguise barnyard stories with music People who say: Ut must be grand to go to night clubs every night
 Rudy Vallee's oratory. The eve ming runs down when he gets wound up Lou Holtz's cane Jimmy Durante. limitations of Jimmy Durante George Givot. And all limitations of George
 
 People who swear at walters Uppity walters who glare at you inadvertently when you ask for something Blondes with dark fringes Drunken heeklers of entertainers who are doing their best to please People who write lyrics about little piggies and lambies. Most of us could exist for some time without any more little dogies.
 And Press Agents
 Taxi drivers who never have change for a dollar Suede shoes on men. Mannish clothes on women Rain on weekends People who say, "Commup'n see me som m-m-me-time" Dead herring handshakes Press agents. Especially press agents who steal jokes and then attribute them to their pet clients. The other day I received an item labeled, Exclusive to Paul Harri- son.. It had been taken almost word -for-word from a column l wrote two months ago Producers who never tell the truth about their own shows Chorus girls who islander other chorus girls Broadway cliques that conduct defamatory whisper ing campaigns . Chain letters Broadwaymen whose only qualifying adjectives are lousy and terrific People who say, "I used to be newspaperman myself" and say it in a concilia- tory way which indicates that there still may be some hope for me.
 Bridge Demons
 Opponents who criticize my bridge People who ask, in the mid dle of the bidding, whether any body has heard the tsory about the travelling farmer and the sales mans daughter Little shots who speak familiarly of big shots as Good Old Red" Lewis, Oar ling Dotty" Parker, Sweet Little Lumpy" Miller and so on Stories about the reconciliations and arrangements of Lupe Velez that what this country needs is a first class war Actors and. &C., tresses who can't quit acting when
 
 Small-timers who say. "Pll have to see your story before you print anything about me-" Really im- portant people almost never make such request of newspapermen Small-timers who try to con- duct their own interviews, telling what to print and what to omit.
 
 Phoney Agents
 People who tell you grandilo- quently that they're in the big money now, and then end the con- versation by borrowing 50 cents Agents who solemnly declare themselves the discoverers of Paul 1 Whiteman, Joe Cook, Rudy Vallee, George Jessel. Helen Morgan. George Gershwin, Ethel Norman and Joan Crawford. Once, after listening to a long and untruthful list, asked the fellow if he had brought Mitzi LaForge Ga ficti- tious name and a non-existent per- son) to prominence. He said yes. certainly; he had found MitZi sing ing in a~honky-tonk club and got her into a featured spot at the Pal ais Royale.