The Waterbury Democrat., 1934-04-14
WY YOUR
 CHILDREN
By Olws Robsrts Bsrtoa : :
esSll W NEz sEtkIcz M


 All parents who have had a Iit- tie boy or girl in bed with a long illness know the difference in conduct when the germs have flown out of the window and con- valescence is over.
 The sick whine remains. Ob- strsoerousness is noticeable, and the will demands it's way. As a rule it takes some time to restore order, and for a very good reason. Both mother and father are so grateful to have the child alive that they are willing to qualify as martyrs. Besides they are afraid that in such a nervous condition their offspring is unable to endure discipline or thwarting. A mother is particularly suscepti- ble to qualms of conscience. Not only has her sympathy been stir red to the very foundations of her soul, but if possible, the one who has endured and suffered has be- come infinitely more precious to her. It often happens that the other children in the family be- come objects or indifference for the time being and ell her emotion centers on the more unfortunate one. She also feels that no com pensation or indulgen can ever make up for the suffering he has experienced.
 Tyranny Vanislles As a rule this will adjust itself. When the little cheeks are rosy again and Jean is her fat little self, energetic, and filled with | every sign of health, she herself will lose this tendency to tyranny, and from sheer interest in every day play and the resumption of | routine, forget her pose. She | won't resort to, s"I'm not feeling well, mother," and puot when told to do things. And when she mis- behaves she won't attempt to es- cape by, q guess I was tired and didn't think"
 Neither Jimmy. nor Jean will continue alibi-ing for very long under normal conditions. Mother | will resume her former attitude, and perhaps by this time she is busy with Mary anyway, who has. picked up the measles. But there are numerous cases. especially when recovery has been slow and left certain unfortunate drags, when a mother continues in this state of pity. Then the bal ance continues to be upset. To- ward her other healthy children she even goes so far as to set up a resentment that they had all the lucky breaks and the weakling has so much to bear.
 She continues to indulge, ex- cuse and shield, and the result is unfortunate. Not only are the others likely to sense injustice and enter into cabal against the favored sister or brother, but this child himself is being conditioned to a dependence, if not an actual fixation, that will probably stick for life and rob him of the very things he needs to fend for him. self some day.
 Curb Sentimentalism
 Tn cases of chronic illness, or the results of accident, I don't
 know what it is to be done. But probably the best thin gis for the parent to keep his sympathy and
 heartbreak in the background as much as possible and do her cry ing in private. Also kindness and care need not be tagged perpetu- ally with too evident pity or too demonstrative affection.
 A tagious courage is best in this case. The child will hunger for love and he certainly needs it and must have it, but over-emotion toward a sick or weakly child won't help him to bear his burden. It merely accents self, and his consciousness of his condition !s emphasized.
 We wonder sometimes why per- fectly capable and healthy people are abnormally dependent, and unhappy in later life, who can't make go of anything and possess a sort of faithful expectancy that someone will come to the rescue.
 If we look back to childhood. we might find at least one answer that of the long illness, or many illnesses, in which the convales- cence dragged on, emotionally at least. much longer than was nec-