The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1934-03-12

tween us that I see no hopes Of
our ever being really happy to-
gether. We have two small boys
and they are very dear to me.
have fallen in love with one Of
my fellow employees whom I have
known for several years. We are
quite congenial in every respect.
MY income is sufficient to support
two families. What are my relative
chances of creating happiness in
my present marriage as compared
with finding happiness in mar
rage with the other girl? Would
the history of such tragedies in
dictate that the happiness to be
found in a second congenial mar
riage offset the sorrow from the
loss of children in an unhappy
first marriage? BEWILDERED.
Answer-The postscript to your
letter which you asked me not tC
publish, contains the cruX of the
whole situation Perhaps you will
not mind my mentioning the fact
that you have repeated the mistake
of your parents in your own mar
riage. This happens with such
amazing frequency that it behooves
a person in your position to inquire
carefully into his own character fol
parental traits which create the
same emotional difficulties for him
that they created for the parents
before him.
You feel that your parents woulC
have done better to separate thar
to have maintained a sterile unior
for the sake of the children, anC
perhaps you are right. On the othel
hand the children of divorced par.
entS resent their separation anc
search for permanence in their own
lives. 1t is not uncommon for Prot
estants to marry Catholics in the
hope of avoiding divorce. Whatever
the parent does it is apt to be wrong
in the eyes Of the children.
Sometimes it looks as il the chill
dren got into the parents situation
in order TO show their elders how
they should have solved their prob.
lens. They strive to live out theil
childish ideas Of how they woulC
have behaved in the parents place
If they have prOfited by the parents
mistakes they may indeed do better
What their lives would have beer
without the unhealthy influence o.
a tangled home life we have no way
of knowing.
1t is barely possible that you
might make your marriage work il
you weren't handicapped by the
conviction held since childhood
that your own parents should have
separated when they became un-
happy. 1t may be that your wife
has changed more than you think;
that you are as blind to her inter
estS as she is to yours. At least
YOU can give her the benefit of the
doubt, and q chance to cooperate
with you.
It is impossible for any one tt
tell you whether or not a second
marriage will work out we'll or turn
out TO be a repetition of the first
For the most part. second marriages
are apt to be happier because eX-
perience has made the partners
able to choose with more wisdom
and adjust to each other more
happily I have seldom seen peo-
pie who regretted their divorces OF
wished to go back, even though the
second venture failed.
I imagine your happiness would
depend largely on your wife's ad-
juStment to divorce. If she went
down TO defeat you would feel j
keenly. If she found contentmen
elsewhere, as courageous wOmer
DO you would be able to enjoy YOU
own life with a freer conscience.
Divorce will be hard on thS
children. But I agree with you thai
a loveleSS home Will Go nothing K
promote their welfare After yol
have done your utmost to establish
q happy conradeShip with you
wife (and your efforts will De handi.
capped by love for another woman
I don't know what you can do bu
make a clean breast of it. VIVA
the outcome will be 7 can not pre-
dict.
Dear Jane Jordan-My lady
friend and I have been going to-
gether for three years. Two years
of this time We were in business
together. Four months ago the
depression forced US out. She has