The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1934-09-06
COwed!
Mr.. Bull Reflects Sadly
on Life in Good Old
u. S. A.
BY GRENVILLE MOTT
Tires STAFF Writer

IT CAN'T see why we come TO
the state fair every year" said
the Jersey bull to his wife, de-
mure Holstein.
IF you only wouldn't be so in
tolerant" she replied. You know
perfectly well those people can't
help the way they act
Il imagine sheep have some
manners" answered the bull.
They don't rush around and stare
at you and giggle. Imagine those
saps giggling at me, as if | looked
nearly as silly as they do"
But. darling" expostulated his
helpmeet, you know you like to
see people, and, besides, this years
exhibit is an exceptionally fine
one. I've seen several really splen-
did speciments of the Hoosier fe-
male already"
We'll, perhaps you're right, my
DEAR" conceded the bull grudg-
ingly. Il must admit that the
half-dozen humans we keep
around home do get awfully
dull. I sometimes think we might
as well get rid of them"
Certainly, it doesn't look as if
we were going to make thing off
them this year, what with the
depression and everything" he
continued. "Of course, the gov
eminent human program has
helped some. This mornings quo
tations put flesh at Is cents, which
would be all right if we hadn't had
to slaughter most our people to
prevent overproduction."
"THERE you go with that talk
l. about business" bleated the
COW. when can get you to talk,
all you do is beef about how ter
rible conditions are. You know
perfectly we'll don't understand a
word you're saying and yet you go
right on believing around. I don't
care what you do, just so you
don't get rid of all our humans.
who would do all the chores if
we didn't have any people around.
l would like to see you getting
your own water" she continued,
hitting a gleefully unpleasant
note.
We'll, I'd like to see you milk
yourself just once" reported the
bull. bridling at her unpleasant
tries. "I guess we have enough
hay left so we can afford to keep
a person or two. 1t did hurt
though, when they devaluated
timothy"
Lets forget about it, angel"
said the COW. You're a pretty
good bull, but you are getting old
and crotchety. Why, you haven't
bought me a new ribbon for my
tail in simply months"
"Frills and furbelows, frills and
furbelows; that's all you ever
think about" lowed the bull. IF
you want ribbon so badly why
don't you win yourself one"
TITS COW started to Sniffle and
l. l. weep in complaint, but she
suddenly noticed he was paying
no attention. His eyes and
thoughts were obviously concen-
trated on a pretty little 3-year-
old Guernsey.
"Yeeeeow," went her husband
suddenly, throwing out his huge
chest and paving bit of turf.
"Waaaw," walled his wife, and
the bull suddenly recalled where
he was. You never pay any at
tention to me-" she walled, but
any time pretty little 3-year-old
comes along you go around acting
like calf. After all these years
I've been a good wife to you, too.
My best years wasted on you"
Hardly wasted, my dear, hardly
was ed" said the bull. You con-
stantly misjudge me, that is all
1 ha-- no interest in that little
hej' why, obviously, I am old
enough to be her grandfather.
What need is a nice sound in
telligent little COW like you and
how well I know it. I was wall
ing thinking now silly our govern
ment is. Putting a processing tax
on humans the halfwitS "