davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1934-11-26

I remember ii" w. van Leon
correctly, they had burned a
large straw figure that was sup
posed to represent their presi-
dent. They had gone on strike.
They had loudly proclaimed the
inviolability Of the campus, the
hallowed ground Of their COM
monwealth Of learning, from
any intrusions on the part Of
the cops. In short, they had
made a damnable nuisance Of
themselves.
They had been rather funny
in a childish sort of way.
Besides, it had been such
lovely day, the hottest day in
November, within the memory
Of man.
With the sun shining so
brightly, it had been much
pleaSanter to declare a holiday
and to start a fine old carnival
of nonsense than to go in
doors to be treasured about
the habits of the hypothenuse
and the lack of habits of the
irregular Greek verbs.
And so the students had
done what is the eternal
privilege of youth, they had
made fools Of themselves while
trying to make fools Of their
elders.
OLD TUNE
This morning there followed
an avalanche of serious and
high-falutin' editorials.
Wise old scribes who ap-
parently have forgotten the
days of their own youth took
these children to task and
accused them of all sorts Of
enormities. The worst accusa-
ton of all had something to do
with their "base ingratitude
for favors received"
For these boys and girls"
so the editors lamented, did
not seem 70 real1Ze CndC Gney
were receiving a bounty from
the taxpayers. They should
attend to their lessons but
under no circumstances should
they take an active interest in
the affairs of the day."
And so on and so forth, the
same old tune that was sung
into my own ears when / was
forty years younger. The same
old tune that was sung into
the ears of my grandfather al
most a century ago. The same
old tune King CheopS re-
peated In the ears of little
Cheops and little Cleopatra
The Washington times., 1934-11-26

It seems that the Egyptian
artists rarely portrayed facial
expressions. This may have
been because the Egyptians
had no facial expressions. Look
st the British today.
At any rate, the toy is con-
sidered so valuable that the ex-
pedition which discovered it has
been allowed to keep only one
of the figures, the other three
going to the Egyptian govern
ment. That pretty well bugs
it up as a mechanical toy for
both sides, but when you con-
slider that it had remained un-
broken for about 1000 years,
you can hardly blame the
Egyptian government for want
ing to tinker with it.
A discovery even more unique
than this would be a me-
chanical toy bought in Decem'
ber, 1888, which somebody
hadn't tinkered with and broken
by January, 1884.
However, it still presents pos
sibilities for uncles and god
fathers for the coming Yule-
tide. After a few weeks now,
the authorities, at the Metro
politan Museum will have tired
of playing with just that one
figure, and will probably sell it
cheap. Without the other three
figures the best they can do
with it will be to hop it along
with their hands and put it in
q dollhouse with a dolls tea
The Washington times., 1934-11-26
Parking or Driving?
Let the Motorist Choose

The way we're killing people the streets of Washington
indicates the pressing for doing something about the
traffic situation.
The Traffic Advisory Council thinks do something
about these frequent killings by cutting down parking pv
leges.
The District Attorney thinks he do something about it
by increasing the speed limits substituting reckless driv
ing law for the present speed limits.
And they probably both wrong.
The killing rate probably won't be cut very heavily until
everybody who drives to realization Of the fact
that IT DOESN'T PAY TO TAKE CHANCE
Unless we can put policeman every block in the city,
assign one to every driver can't nst in the motorists any
great fear for themselves
The automobile driver the world SUPREME oPTIM1sT
He has an unshaable conviction that the person who is
rong to the hospital the mogue will always be the OTHER
FELLOW.
But regardless of the seeming mpossbiy of eliminating
the heavy death rate on Washington may be able
make it MORE CONVENIENT to automobile.
There are two factors to that is convenience in parking
The car and the other is ease in driving it.
Pretty the motorists Of Washington and there
nearly two hundred thousand of them Judging by automobile
registration will decide which of these factors the
moro important
rapidly becoming impossible both park automobiles
the citys and operate others those streets
Either the parking will have be curtailed suggested by
the Traffic Advisory Council the driving conditions will
become such as to make it impossible the traffic
namuch both Of the factors affect the persons
should be possible to find out which they want to do
WHETHER THEY WANT TO PARK THEIR CARS OR
DRIVE THEM.
views of the motorists the problem the vote is
whemngly favor of permitting unlimited street parking
change the traffic regulations to meet that vew
it against parking then rearrange regulations
to make driving easier.
The Washington times., 1934-11-26
Hendrix Willem van Loon With h

when he took a few hours off
from his pyramid building.
The same old tune that
Noah hummed into his whiSkers
when Shem, Ham and Japhet
played hockey and visited with
the giraffe instead of doing
their lessons.
The same old tune that is
The Washington times., 1934-11-26

others, who did not possess the
same virtue.
One very caustic gentleman
of the Senate who had the
greatest regard for Hull but
was doubtful about his too
great honesty snarled:
''Why when those foreign dip
Iomats get hold of COrdell they
will take his pants, his coat
and his shirt and he won't even
know he's nude"
copyright, 1884, The Washington Times
The Washington times., 1934-11-26

now so stale that nobody will
listen to it, except our pro-
fessional pedagogues and our
educators,
After all, why are we young?
Partly because we cannot help
ourselves, for being young is a
very difficult experience, and
perhaps the most difficult of all
The Washington times., 1934-11-26

set. I'll bet you could buy 1t
from them right now, and
they've had it only a week.
So let some enterprising
uncle buy it and, on Christmas
Day, present it to Alice's boy,
with a nice note reading: Here
is a mechanical toy which is
already broken to start with.
What are you going to do about
that?"
The child will probably go
mad from Illustration.
Articles by Robert Benchley
appear each Monday, Wednes-
day and Thursday.
Copyright. 1884 by King Features
Syndicate, 1nc.l
The Washington times., 1934-11-26

door daily.
early in the
m o rnin 6.
Once m or g
t h e under
graduates of
one Of our
great univer-
S i I'll es had
hoisted them
selves onto
the from t
page.
I have for.
gotten what
it was a IL
about. But if
T rom enoheTo
The Washington times., 1934-11-26

wv h a t $
left for us?"
they cry. mo
more babies.
No more ro-
nance. Gray
haired fat.
Yet they tell
us life begins
at forty"
It d o e S,
sisters. Or at
fit ty or
sixty if we're
willing. But
the trouble
with most Of
The Washington times., 1934-11-26

Of health, he
C o m e S to
w q S hington
prepared for
q session Of
battle, smok-
ing a huge
black cigar.
In Nebraska,
the campaign
which Norris
W q g e d was
not for re-
election b u :
for his favor
ite plan. He
fought for
The Washington times., 1934-11-26
Wise Words

even think that, senti-
mentally, I am disposed to :
harmony. But organically 7.
am incapable of a tune.-Lamb.
Mountains are the beginning
and the end Of all natural seem
ery.-RuSkin.
Clever tyrants are never pun
iShed.-Voltaire..---
The Washington times., 1934-11-26
The Greatest Show
On Earth
By John Snure, F.

Senator George Norris, Of
Nebraska, outstanding Progress
Sive, returns to town after one
Of tn. most strenuous cam
paigns Of his -areer.
Apparently enjoying the best
The Washington times., 1934-11-26

men on Cap
itol Hill and
elsewhere who
were slightly
S k e p tic a !.
Th ey h a d
known H IL
as a Senator
and knew his
love of hon.
esty in all
things.
But t h e Y
f e a r e d, be-
cause of his
honesty, that
he might be
dllped bY
The Washington times., 1934-11-26
Christmas Suggestion
BIZ Robert BenchLeu

OF especial interest to un.
married uncleS and godfathers
is the recent discovery in an
Egyptian tomb of the first
mechanical toy. At least, it
might offer an idea of some
thing to get for Alice's boy at
Christmas.
This toy, according to what
must be a semifacetious report
of the expedition, was found at
The Washington times., 1934-11-26
Garry Your Bag, Subj
To Prosperity

Whom travels he has somewhere Co. When he travels
In Pullman he has confidence that the trip is worth while
That's why Pullman Company figures showing six times better
profits for the last three months encouraging.
We're not only on wayi We on our way in Styla
The Washington times., 1934-11-26

I have been wading through
the bale of printed wood-pulp
which the newsboy leaves at my
The Washington times., 1934-11-26
Life Can Begin At Forty If

Those Frantic Forties-
every day there's a chorus Of
their what'll-We-dO walls.
The Waterbury Democrat., 1934-02-23

A collection of early Trinidad stamps was sold recently in Lon- don for S12.5OO.
The Waterbury Democrat., 1934-02-23

"Variations," intended to be char acter studies on intimate friends. Musicians marvelled at his mas tery of contra points. Germans hailed his as brilliant.
 Scorning old-fashioned ideas of how a musician should look, he kept himself militarily erect and wore a carefully. clipped military mustache.
 His best known works were:
 Pomp and Circumstance Marches (the trio of one contained the mel ody> whistled over the world az 'The Land of Hope and GloryO The Dream of Gerontius, The Apostles, and The Kingdom, all oratorios; A Violin Concerto; The First and Second Symphonies; Salut D'Amour; various chamber music.
 He was knighted in 1902 when Edward VII ascended the throne. He wrote the official ode for the lcoronation.
 He was made a baronet in 1891. He also had been honored with the orders of the Grand Cross ol the Victorian order mad the Knight Commanderhood, of the Victorian order, both giving knighthood. Elgar had been master of the Kings music-musick, officially, ir medieval term-since 1904. | During King Georges illness ir 1929, he emerged from his retire. ment to write Christmas caro that was hymn of prayer for tho kings recovery.
 "Good music need not be dull he used to say. T know it Is ar
The Waterbury Democrat., 1934-02-23
FRENCH LAUNCH
 NEW TAX PLAN
Government Expects 400 Million Franc Return
 From Auto Idea

Paris, GU. P.)-With the object of increasing government revenue from automobile users by 100000 900 francs year, a new system of taxation of French motor cars is now in force.
 Voted under the last financial redressment scheme. under which the Ministry of Finance sought new sources of revenue to help meet the estimated deficit of six milliard francs for 1884, the measure abolishes entirely the old system of quarterly motor licens. es, and institutes instead special tax on gasoline.
 Based on Power
 Previously the motor car tax was based on the power of the automobile, taxation system adopted by most European coun- tries. The new government scheme abolishes the horsepower tax in favor of supertax of 2 francs 50 centimes on every five liters can of gasoline sold by re-  centimes increase per gallon.
 Before the present law came into force, slightly more than half the amount the automobilist paid for his gasoline went to the state.
 Increased Mileage
 It is estimated by experts that the owner of five horsepower car who has paid an annual tax of APO francs now will be able to increase his yearly mileage to be- tween 7,50O and 5000 miles with out increasing his previous an- nual expenditure, including the cost of the old annual tax.
 Contrarily, it is calculated that business people using a 10 horse power car and covering 100 kilo- meters daily throughout the year will have to pay under the single tax on gasoline about 1,500 francs a year instead of the previous tax of 809 francs on the basis of "taxe de circulation"
 While the government figures on an increased revenue from this
The Waterbury Democrat., 1934-02-23
MASTER OF THE
 KINGS MUSIC IS . DEAD IN ENGLAND
Sir Edward Elgar Known as Famous Composer,
 Had Been Retired

London, Feb. 2S--(UP)-Sir Ed ward Elgar, master of the Kings music and composer of world re- nown, died today. He was 76 years old. Many critics believed him one of the greatest of modern day com posers.
 He had been in practical retire. ment for 13 years, grief stricken at the death of his wife.
 Immediate plans to pay national honor to Sir Edward were halted when his daughter revealed, a few hours after his death, that ire quently, in recent months, he had asked that there be absolutely no mourning. no flowers, and that he be buried privately at a time and place not to be revealed.
 Elgar died at his Worcester home, Marl Bank to which he was removed early in January after he seemed recovering from an abdom- inal operation.
 Only two weeks ago, using two | telephone lines from his sick bed. | he conducted an orchestra which was making photographic record of his composition March From lCaractacus." <. George Bernard Shaw once said of Elgar: "He is the greatest mas ter of music in the, world-master of stupendous tone without noise. v
 Elgar. called himself a self-made musician. Sent as youth into a lawyers office to study, he prac- tised the violin, He said this was his onyl musical education.
 He was AZ when London musical people were astonished by his
The Waterbury Democrat., 1934-02-23

source of 4OO,oOo,ooO francs. the
 figures may fall short. It this proves to be the case, the law
The Waterbury Democrat., 1934-02-23
Scandinavian Crime
 Drop Due To Repeal
All But Denmark Have Tried Some Form of Prohibition
 and Dropped It

and 1t needn't close until mid night. Night clubs and hotels are permitted to serve 24 hours @ day, with the exception of Sunday.
 From 1917 to 1927 Norway had partial prohibition. When the leg islation was first inaugurated it was decided to let nothing be sold with more than IA per cent alco- hol. Later this was raised to 24 per cent, and eventually the sys- tenn was abolished by an over whelming vote of the people.
 The liquor trade is now a gov ernment monopoly. The shops which retail both spirits and wines are run by the government, which takes about 25 per cent in profit. Prices are higher than formerly, and drunkenness has decreased sharply since the country went to- tally wet again.
 There are no bars and never have been in Norway. Hotels and restaurants are allowed to serve all manner of drink with meals, but usually close about one o'clock. The retail liquor shops close early on Saturdays, so that the workmen may not spend all their weekly wages in liquor pur- chases.
 Sweden controls the liquor con- sumption of her citizens by means of the Bratt system, which is al- most comparable to Henry Ford's parental attitude towards his em- ployes, except that the Swedes are allowed to drink prescribed amount.
 Intending imbibers must first satisfy the liquor control authori- ties that their financial position and personal character are such as to warrant their having liquor pass book. Upon presentation of this at liquor shop they are en- titled to buy four liters (about six quarts) per month. The govern ment does. not bother much about the wine question, for in this northern country the bulk of spir- it's consumed are of the hard va riety.
 If the liquor control board thinks an applicants finances are not sufficient to stand the pur- chase of the maximum allowed, his ration is cut proportionately. If he offends against the regula- tions. by evasions or drinking to excess, he is liable to lose his per init.
 Total prohibition prevailed in Finland from 1919 until 1892. and in Iceland for IS years. In Fin land now all types of liquor arc sold by private company which is a monopoly under government control. In Iceland, although they have voted for repeal, it will prob- ably be another year febore the necessary ligislation to permit liquor sales will have been passed.
 In all the Scandinavian coun- tries which tried out prohibition, total or partial, the resulting con- ditions were comparable to those which arose under American Vol steadism. Smuggling became a nationtl industry, along with , bootlegging. Crime increased, and corruption among police and pol iticians became general.
 While there is still considerable smuggling, a certain amount of bootlegging and illicit manufac- turing owing to the generally high prices, it does not compare with former conditions, and drunken ness and general crime have shown l a, marked decrease.
The Waterbury Democrat., 1934-02-23
nv LEE WILLsON

NUmlte0 Press Ssam NOrreSpOmucntD
 London, (UP)-Swedish slippers are spied upon; Danish drinkers can have as much as they can hold; Norwegian noggins are sold by the government; the Films found that total prohibition would not work; and imbibing in Iceland will soon be legal again.
 With the exception of Denmark, all the Scandinavian countries have tried total or partial prohi- bition. After varying periods Of enforcement, all of them have abolished it.
 According to one authority, in Finland and Iceland, where total prohibition prevailed, drunkenness was worst. Norway. which for a time had only light wines and beer, was second on the list. Swe- den with permit system, fol- lowed, and Denmark with practi, cally no restrictions whatever, had inc least amount of drunkenness of tho five countries.
 Denmark might be considered the drinking mans Mecca. The liquor is good, there is plenty of it., and you can get it at practically any hour of the day or night. There is just one flaw. It is ex- pensive. And the high cost keeps down the volume of consumption, which is what the government wants.
 Before the war, Aqua Vita, the Scandinavian equivalent of whis- key, which is the purest of spirits, sold in Denmark for about 12 cents a bottle. Since that time, however, the government has steadily raised the tax until 1t is now more than $250 bottle, while imported whiskey is propor- tionately higher.
 A bar can open in Denmark at six o'clock in the morning, If the owner wants to get up that early,
The Waterbury Democrat., 1934-02-23
No More Piles
You Can End Your Awful Misery
 Quick Without Cutting or Salvcs

Thousands of Pile sufferers do not know that the cause of Piles is internal-bad circulation Of blood in the lower bowel.
 This is the scientific truth about Piles-the real reason why salves and suppositories do not give per manent relief, why cutting does not remove the cause.
 Your itching, bleeding or pro- truding Piles will only go when you actually remove the cause and not one minute before. Ex- ternal treatments can't do this m internal medicine should be used. HEM-ROID, the prescription of Dr J. s. Leonhardt, sold by good druggists everywhere, succeeds be- cause it stimulates the circulation, drives out congested blood, heals and restores the almost dead parts.
 So why waste time on external remedies or worry about an opera ton when Apothecaries Hall in- rites every Pile sufferer to try HEM-ROID with guarantee of money back if it does not end their Piles, no matter how stubborn the case?
The Waterbury Democrat., 1934-02-23
Missouri Apple Growers
 Raise Crop of 100, 900, ,00O

St Joseph, Mo, (UP)-Missouri I.iver apple growers are doing their part to keep the doctor away by producing about 100,000,000 apples an amount equivalent to an apple for every man, woman and child in America.
 According to George T. Groh. president of the growers organi- cation, 100000 bushels of apples .s the 1883 crop and shipments of 2.0OO cars to market will be made this season.
 Reduction of freight rates and the wide use of tricks in taking apples to market have helped the growers and this years crop is con- sidered of better color and size than the average,
The Waterbury Democrat., 1934-02-23
FIREMEN CALLED TO GARAGE STOREROOM

A rubbish fire in the rear of the storeroom of the studebaker Sales & Service garage at S79 West Main street was extinguished last even- ing by members of the fire depart ment. Four companies of appara- tus responded to the call. The blaze was confined to the depart ment in which it originated.
The Waterbury Democrat., 1934-02-23
Prisoner Escaped Jail In Garbage Can

Athens, Ohio, (UP)-Garba&;e cans have their uses, even if they are used to escape from a county jail.
 Willard Grimes and Bert VargO, inmates at county jail here, em- ploycd a garbage can to effect an escape. Grimes hid in the can; Vargo carried it outside the jai, yard. There both fled.
The Waterbury Democrat., 1934-02-23

old problem whether dog nowis because he is happy or miserable a dntoo many, English people LOOK that way when they sing.
The Waterbury Democrat., 1934-02-23

entities the government to add q further tax of 50 centimes a five liter can,
The Waterbury Democrat., 1934-08-21
SOCIETIES PLAN
 FETE FOR PASTOR
Mount Carmel Units to Honor the Rev Michael
 Lynch at Testimonial
BROOKLYN

Members of all societies at Our Lady of Mount Carmel church will meet Thursday evening and plan for a homecoming testimonial to be rendered their pastor, Rev. Mi chael Lynch, who at present is visiting in Italy. The meeting has acting pastor. The organizations to be represented are St. Theresa, Children of Mary Sodality and Junior and Senior Holy Name.
 Rev. Michael Lynch will arrive in New York city Saturday, Sep. tember the first. He has booked passage on the Statendam, steamer that leaves Naples next Sunday.
 MT. and Mrs. James Doran of Porter street recently held open house in honor of the approach ing marriage of their son, James Jr., who will be married Thurs day. September 30th, to Miss Jul ia Shea of Wall street. The cere- mony will be performed at the Sacred Heart church. During the progress of the evening the hon. ored guest was the recipient of many gifts, which included a purse of money. More than thirty people were present.
 William King of Charles street and Matt Dunphy of Bank street have returned following a visit to the Worlds Fair.
 Francis Coughlin of Charles street and Joseph Shopis of South Leonard street are motoring to New York city today.