The Washington times., 1934-10-24
All
In a
Day
Odds and Ends
MIX
KELLINCER

SGOI CHoO oAONAN 'A"HN JOO
a chuckle. 1t comes from
Sammy Renick, a fine
jockey and a great little
fellow. And if that last line
doesn't get me a decent tip
one of these days, my con-
fidence in humans will be
greatly diminished.
Where was I? Oh, yes, I
was about to tell a story.
Well, it seems a tout named
Charlie had the owner Of a
hardware store on his string.
Said owners name was Gold.
berg-and for some six months
Charlie had been dropping into
Mr.. Goldberg's hardware store
and giving the owner smart
horses to play.
All Of which would have been
very nice-if Mr.. Goldberg had
been able to cash a bet. But
he couldn't. He listened
attentively to Charles tips and
he often backed them at the
rate of 5000 and $500 to win.
But time rolled by and he
couldn't hit a winner.
Charlie, of course, always had
an excuse ready. He knew
exactly why the horse hadn't
won, but the trouble was he
didn't know until the race had
been run. It finally grew so
bad that Mr.. Goldberg told the
tout he was finished betting
for all time.
Accordingly, Charlie stayed
away from Goldberg's hardware
store for some 10 days. Then,
with excitement written all
over his kisser, he barged in
one morning and took the
owner aside. Goldberg" he
cried, IT know I've given you
a. lot Of losers. But I have
something today that will get
you out of the bag for all
time. I've kept away until this
thing was ready-and today's
the day. I'm giving you my
personal word that this horse
can't lose"
The hardware man shook his
head.
Nothing Doing
Nothing doing" he declared.
give lost too much money on
the races already. If I played
your horse this afternoon I'd
have to hook my store to do it"
"Then hook It'll" insisted
Charlie. you'll never have an
other opportunity like this as
long as you live. The horses
name is Soandso. and he goes in
the third race today. He'll be
at least five to one, and he can't
lose. I'm telling you, Goldberg,
that you can get back all you've
lost!"
Well, you know the answer.
The hardware man weakened
gradually, and he finally de-
cided to play Charles unbeat-
able tip. He went to the track,
and he proceeded to back So
andso all over the place. He
took five to one, then he took
four, and he wound up taking
as low as two. Goldberg was
really plunging heavily.
The race was run-but not by
Soandso. That nag must have
stopped for a matted milk or
something on the way around,
because the other nags were in
their barns before Soandso stag.
gered past the judges stand.
Goldberg was frantic. He
went looking for Charlie and, al.
though the latter man tried his
best to duck, Goldberg finally
nailed him. He grabbed
Charlie by the lapels and began
to shake him vigorously.
what have you done to me?"
he walled. ''I'm ruined! What
have you done?"
The tout gulped.
"I'm sorry" he said. "I-"
"You're sorry!" screamed
Goldberg. what good does
that do me? I have nothing
left. My hardware store is
gone. What will I do now?"
you say" muttered Charlie,
shat your hardware store is
gomez"
yes" walled Goldberg. "All
gone"
Charlie stepped back and
shook his head.
That's where you made a
mistake" he observed sadly.
Couldn't you at least have held
out a pick and a shovel?",
III0iNr ooo,vokIoooL4-