Evening star., 1934-12-09
GR|D|R0N SATIRE
bR0|LS NEW DEAL
Old Guard Comes in for Its
Share of Fun-No-
tables Attend.
Continued From First Page.)

OOldlu ItWdl QtO
Secretary of the Interior Ickes; as
the Middle West went Democratic he
remunerated Secretary of Agriculture
Wallace; as New York rolled up its
big majorities he paid off Relief Ad-
mlnlStrator Hopkins; as the whole
country hoped the band wagon he
promoted Tugwell for his great work
in remaining in Europe until the
campaign was over.
Wright Gives keynote.
The keynote of the Gridiron show
was sounded at the outset in ira
ditional speech delivered in darkness
except for the glow of a lighted grid
iron by James L. Wright, correspond
ent of the Buffalo Evening News and
1884 president of the club.
Tonight, my friends" he said, I'VE
train our field glasses on the pompoms
of the political pageant, on fantastic
floats and floating fantasies Colorful
events of recent months will pass
quickly in review.
Since last We met beneath the
golden gridiron there have been many
changes. The Washington Monument
mas Oe6Il WdSIleQ QOWu dllO lllc 1tc-
publican party washed up.
The watchdog of the Treasury has
been driven off by the kitty of the
New Deal. The donkey has been
crossed with the pink zebra in the
Northwest The elephant, denied pea
nuts in Pennsylvania, has crashed
through "the jungle" in California.
The tiger, housebroken in New York,
is now a domestic pet. and the good
old Blue Eagle has quit soaring III
the sky, to sit on the nest where its
fledgling is Matching.
Broils but Doesn't Scar.
"Only the Gridiron Club, venerable
with the years. hidebound in the ira
ditions of it's founding fathers, clings
to the past 1t, too. may feel the urge
to step in line, click its heels, march
in the parade lest, failing to do so, it
shall be denied elbow room at the
counters of the more abundant life.
But enough of this. Let the grid
iron shine. 1t warns, but it doesn't
scorch. 1t broils but it doesn't scar.
It's heat is generated in the glowing
Goals of friendship and fellowship. 1t
lldSlltS Iidppy llOuAo az 4ANAN ooeAAA' ~
on to glorious adventure
The show began with small boy,
in sleeping suit, candle in hand, re-
citing parody on THE Night Before
Christmas
AS he finished the Marine Band
struck up Santa Claus Is Comm to
Town" and 20 Gridiron members,
garbed in the red coats and the boards
of a Santa Claus, but each carrying a
bag with a big dollar sign upon it,
entered from the end of the hall,
marched about through the audience
and up on the stage.
Songs and Puns.
You better watch out, you better be
Better not pout, but vote as you
should"
sang a soloist, and the chorus re-
sponded:
Santa Claus Is comm to town"
Hes making a list and checking it
twice,
Gonna find out who's treating him
NICE"
went on the soloist. The chorus
came in again and the song went on:
SOLO.
He sees you when you're voting.
He watches all the time;
You better be a Democrat
Or you will not get dlme!"
After this whack at the admins
tration's policies of public works, re-
lief and farm benefits, the Gridlron
Club engaged in little raillery upon
itself and the correspondents general
ly, using it as the vehicle for the in
itiation of a new member, Charles o.
Gridley, correspondent of the Denver
Post.
IA Is Satirized.
The progress Of recovery under the
leadership of President Roosevelt was
handled in a traveSty enacted In the
interior of Pullman car on the Pros
perity Limited, showing three berths
made up, the center on labeled Sec
tion IA.
AS the lights went up the porter
came in with a step ladder, followed
by Henry Ford and William Green,
president of the American Federation
of Labor. Both had tickets for Sec
ton IA and both demanded that Sec
ton and no other.
"Gemmen, shure is sorry" said the
porter. LAS chairman of the board of
conciliation, it seems ter me that
some bone head in de main ticket
Office done made a mistake. Lordy!
Lordy! Here's sumpin'.'
Ford and Green went into scuff1e,
each trying to get into the berth.
Trying to cheat the poor down.
pressed laboring man out of his berth,
are you?" taunted Green.
Hartman Loses Club.
Henry I. Hartman, president of
the United States Chamber of Com
merce, and Rudolph S. Hecht, presi-
dent of the American Bankers Asso-
citation, who were sleeping in the two
adjacent sections, were awakened by
the noise and Hecht asked Hartman
if he didn't have a club with which
to hit the quarreling passengers over
the head.
Il used to have a club" he replied,
"but the last time 1 carried it over