Carolina watchman. [volume] (Salisbury, N.C.) 1871-1937, 1934-11-16

And Ellen, looking down through
the darkness at his head, bent above
her hands-hearing, as through a
dream, the whir of the cars motor
was feeling the same madness,
too. Why, the boy was right. He
was right! 1t was love.
But, in the CRAVING darkness,
Ellen was going back to her mother.
Strange how close. her mother was
tonight! Closer than she'd been in
those first early moments of grief,
three years ago.
II met him at a costume dance,
Your father So had run her
mothers story. 1--WE weren't even
introduced -. He just came up. .
We waltzed away. >. And he kiss
ed me 49,"
So the story had gone-running
almost parallel to the events of this
very evening. Perhaps, if she let her
own story go along as it had start
ed, it would continue to run parall-
eel with her mothers. But.
And yet Ellen herself wanted to
be swept away-she, herself, want
ed to be a complete conquest. She'd
have to fight that desire. To fight
it at her mother had told her she
must. As her mother hadn't.
With the boys lips burning
against her palms, she made the re-
solve. With her head bent above his
bowed head, Ellen heard herself say
ing sharply, and aloud
eft won't get me. 1t won't spoil
my life!"
The bowed head was raised. Blue
eyes-deeper blue, because they
were wet-sought across the sha-
dows for her own.
"What won't get your" the boy
asked.
Ellen answered.
"You!" she said fercely. II won't
let you get me. I'm not going to
fall in love with you. I never fall
in love; can't. Because | have
nothing to give, net a thing! Pm
sort of IA spiritual gold-digger,
at heart. Oh, Pm nice enough!" she
want to make the admission,
but she had to! GIVE kept away
from it all because l don't want to
live close enough to any folk SO
that I'll get to care for them. Be-
cause when you care for anyone,
that person can hurt you. l WON'T"
her vocie had sunk to an odd, hys-
terical, shrill whisper, II won't be
The gray in the sky had light
ened. The taxi driver, with a shrug,
had started his fourth circuit of the
park.
But the boy in the taxi was a
ing into Ellen's eyes.
"Of course" he said, "if you'll
marry me, I'll take a chance on
that! On your not having anything
to give, I mean. On your not fall
ing in love. If you'll marry me!'
There was assurance in his voice, as
we'll as passion.
"You don't understand" she
said at last, in answer to that pro-
posal-"You don't understand at
all what Pm trying to say. Men?
In my life men are just transients.
They'll always be just passers-by!"
The boys arm was around her,
There's n man," he said,
&c who won't be transient, or a pas
in your life"
Ellen repeated again from the
formula, She shut her eyes and said
over the words hat she had said
not so very long ago, to Dick.
''After ALL" she said and she re-
the words, parrot-like, "after
all, what's the advantage of marri-
age, as it concerns me?"
1t was almost light enough now
for Ellen to see the hurt look in the
eyes. Almost, but not quite.
She said freely in her soul that he
any right to look so hurt.
This attitude that she was taking
surely she felt the pain Of it as
much as anyone! And then, too,
she was saving him.
"After ALL" he said slowly, "mar-
ried to me you wouldn't have to
work, you know. Or to worry about
financial things. Ot-babies-not
if you really didn't want EN-. And
you could have all the privacy in
the world, in the biggest apartment
on Park Avenue-married to me,