davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Plentywood herald. [volume] (Plentywood, Mont.) 1908-current, 1934-06-07
TRY THIS, MR.. PRESIDENT

II know how to settle this unem-
ployment problem" said the club
wag. IF we put all the men of the
world on one island, and all the
women on another, we'd have every
body busy in no time.
We'll, what would they be doing?'
"Why. bodybuilding. '-Tit-Bits.
Plentywood herald. [volume] (Plentywood, Mont.) 1908-current, 1934-06-07
Question All RIGHT

AT a college examination a profess
sor asked: Does the question en-
barrass you?"
Not at all, sir" replied the stu
dent. ut is quite clear; it's the IN
swer that bothers me.'-Toronto
Globe.
Plentywood herald. [volume] (Plentywood, Mont.) 1908-current, 1934-06-07
New Marital Rift

Mrs. Gaydog is getting a divorce
on modern lines"
"How's that?"
aIncompatibility of political senti-
ments. She believes in imitation Of
the dollar. and he doesn't"
Plentywood herald. [volume] (Plentywood, Mont.) 1908-current, 1934-06-07
She Knows Better

There's really nothing wrong with
you.' declared the doctor, after a
thorough examination.
I'D like to see you convince my
wife of that. Doc" said he. "She
thinks everything is wrong with me-"
Cincinnati Enquirer.
Plentywood herald. [volume] (Plentywood, Mont.) 1908-current, 1934-06-07
0 THAT MAKES
PARTICULAR APPEAL
TO ~HOUSEKEEPERS
Is2s

Fer smart housekeepers-this cap
tivating frock that will give you a
neat and attractive appearance dur
ing your busy daytime hours. And
as for making it-there's just Moth
ing difficult about it at all. The
front and back yokes are economical
ly cut in one. the semi belted waist
line is readily adjusted. and of course.
pockets are Indispensable. A tub
bable cotton print with either self or
contrasting rufTling would be nice.
The Observation-Disclosures sewing
Plentywood herald. [volume] (Plentywood, Mont.) 1908-current, 1934-06-07
Shifting the Blame

did you ever dodge any taxes"
mo, sir" answered Mr.. Dustin
Stax. Il can't figure out my tax re
turns for myself and ! can't help 1t
If / happen to employ a special ex-
pert who has his own IDEAS"
Plentywood herald. [volume] (Plentywood, Mont.) 1908-current, 1934-06-07
Much Wnrse

Politician (angrily)-Those news
papers tell abominable lies about
me.
Friend-And yet they might do
worse.
politician-Do worsei What do
you mean?
Friend-They might tell the truth.
Stray Stories.
Plentywood herald. [volume] (Plentywood, Mont.) 1908-current, 1934-06-07

She-How dare you say my father
is a wretch
He-Well, told him | could not
live without you and he said he
would willingly pay the funeral ex-
penses !-Frankfurter Illustrierte.
Plentywood herald. [volume] (Plentywood, Mont.) 1908-current, 1934-06-07
His Masterpiece

(which Of your works of fiction do
you consider the best, Mr.. PEN
wright?''
my last income tax return"
Plentywood herald. [volume] (Plentywood, Mont.) 1908-current, 1934-06-07
Watch Out for the Pin.

A shirt advertisement asks the.
question, what is the thing you
look for in a shirt?r
Barracuda Pete that one:
Buttons.-San Diego Union.
Plentywood herald. [volume] (Plentywood, Mont.) 1908-current, 1934-06-07
More Than One Speciality

"But you wouldn't marry a man
just because he is a good d~ancer2"
"Oh, no; Jack Is clever at bridge,
too"
Plentywood herald. [volume] (Plentywood, Mont.) 1908-current, 1934-06-07
Proof Enough

Marjorie Is very clever"
"She only makes people think she
is"
well, isn't that ~clever?"
Plentywood herald. [volume] (Plentywood, Mont.) 1908-current, 1934-06-07
A Puxnler

A Puxxler
Son-Father, is the zebra a black
animal with white stripes, or a white
animal with black stripes?
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1934-04-04
INDIANA'S SHINING EXAMPLE

Reprinted from Cincinnati Enquirer)
HUR neXt-door neighbor, Indiana, with
- James Whitcomb Riley, Lew Wallace and
its other notable writer's, made great mark
in literature. 1t now is making another great
mark in its state parks Like Ohio. it has no
snowclad mountains, no mammoth trees, age
old, no glaciers-in fact, none of the things
which make the national parks in the west so
wonderful.
But it has done amazingly good things with
what it has. Its Dunes Park on the shore of
Lake Michigan, is unique and beautiful Love
ly Clifty Falls park at Madison, is within easy
driving distance of Cincinnati, and each sum-
mer is visited by hundreds of our people. On
the banks of the Wabash is its Turkey Run
park where one sees massive limestone cut by
erosion in all kinds of monumental forms In
It's billy Brown county is the state game pre-
serve which is really forest park of vast
extent
These parks have added much to the joys
of outdoor life. There is no place in Indiana
where family getting into its automobile for
an outing is not within easy reach of state
park.
This Is highly credible, and, best of all,
there is not one of the many parks which is
not attractive. Natural beauty has every
where been supplemented by art Accessible
ity by good roads goes without saying
Indiana has set a great example We. in
Ohio, have exactly the same possibilities. but
we have not yet really made good start in
developing them This is not to say we have
been wholly neglectful, but we have not done
enough.
In this connection we can mention with
PRIDE our own county park Sharon Woods
mat shows what can be done with tract of
ground which was all hills and dales. It is
one OF the most charming of rural parks But
that should only be a beginning Within an
hour or two from Cincinnati, and from every
other of our cities, we hope soon to have state
parks ten times as large as our Sharon Woods
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1934-04-04
MODIFIED LOYALTY

DoLITICs never took an odder or sharper
turn than it did in congress between the
votes in the house on the Presidents veto of
the independent Offices appropriation bill and
on the new tariff measure.
In the first instance, only scant handful
of Democrats remained to uphold the Presi-
dent. The congressman INDUCED in revolt on
a grand scale, and ominous prophecies were
made about the decline of Mr.. Roosevelt's in
fiuence
But hardly forty-eight hours later these
same insurrectionists were back at his side,
putting through for him measure of the very
type on which congress could be expected to
balk the most-a tariff bill putting in his
hands powers which the house of representa-
tives has always hitherto used
1t looks very much as if the Democratic
majority were trying to say that it is and will
be fanatcally loyal-on all issues except one.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1934-04-04

a temporaizing attitude with the
gigantic economic disaster, we can
not escape the condemnation of the
future.
appreciate all your fine efforts
and the spirit in which you have
approached the immense problem
Of unemployment.
The President made an excellent
choice in your selection in these
days Of crisis. Our blunder will be
irreparable if we assume that the
crisis is temporary; that temporary
measures and temporary relief, to-
gether with floods Of financial sup
port to our distressed production
units and their interlocking inter-
ests, will solve our crisis, can we
stand idly by, while factories for
the production Of every human need
are idle?
With millions of men who are
capable Of operating them both
from the standpoint Of manage
ment and the ability to produce
are only held apart by tradition of
orthodox procedure.
If financial control of industry
forces our people to beg for bare
means Of existence, and compels
people to live on the minimum
standard Of living, then the final
outcome of such a course can only
produce crisis like that which
brought forth the Declaration of
Independence and the American
Constitution.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1934-04-04
THE INDIANAPOLIS TIMES
PRIVATE ARMIES

D AYMoND MoLEYs magazine. Today
N reveals in the current issue that Hitlerism
has invaded the United States on a systematic
and nationwide scale.
According to this magazine, Nad offshoots
have been established in nineteen American
cities, recruits are being sworn in at the rate
of 400 week in New York City alone, and
uniformed storm troopers" are conducting
regular drills in nearly a score of places
1t is only this last point that seems espe-
cially disturbing. This is a free country, and
if man wishes to become a Naz, that
surely is mis- right-precisely as it is his right
to be a Communist. Democrat, or a Single
Taxer.
But it is hard to see why there is any place
in the United States for these private armies
on the European model.
Overseas, those organizations invariably
lead to trouble; on this side of the Atlantic,
we can get along without them very nicely.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1934-04-04
A NEGLECTED WEAPON

ME shock Of finding out just how bad
some Of our city governments have been
is turning public attention, al last. to reform
too long neglected-the proportional repre-
sentation system of electing city councils.
Judge Samuel Seabury strongly urged adop-
ton of proportional representation for New
York after his investigation there Recently
a commission appointed to go into the Boston
situation has recommended that the state
legislature take necessary first steps for its
adoption in that city
The Boston municipal research bureau
found that of ITO councillors elected since 1925
under the ward system sixty-dve have been
elected by minority of the votes cast In
three of the five elections the total vote for all
twenty-five winning candidates was minority
Of the total votes cast for all candidates. In
other words the council collectively did not
represent a majority of the voters.
Proportional representation voting not only
guarantees majority rule but at the same time
assures minority representation. 1t makes
certain that any group of citizens may obtain
:, representation on ruling body in the proper
ton their strength bears to the total number
OF voters.
1t makes domination by organized political
nlinorities impossible at the polls, it keeps
scattered votes from being wasted, it can't be
manipulated by bosses. It makes primaries
unnecessary-an important point in this day
when government economy is so necessary.
Proportional representation has been given
a trial in Cincinnati and that city has con-
spcuously good government. Taxpayers who
want to rid themselves of the burden of graft
and incompetence should keep on demanding
the relief this simple change in the voting
system can bring
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1934-04-04
LIES CONTRASTS

ME odd way in which the public and pri-
vate sides of a mans life can be in con-
trast could hardly be better illustrated than
by the career of the late Otto H. Kahn.
Here was man who, like many other rich
men, had two roles to play in the life of his
time
One of them was that of banker-high-
powered banker, as the saying is, of the es-
sence OF Wall Street, man who had promi-
nent seat among the money-changers and
used it as such seats are meant to be used.
The other was that of patron of the arts. a
position not unlike that of the grandees of
Renaissance Italy-who, it might be remem-
bered, also led double lives, enriching them
selves with one hand and playing the mag
nif1co with the other
1t is in this second role that most of us
were familiar with Mr.. Kahns name. He was
handspring in the activities Of the great
Metropolitan Opera House; he sincerely and
honestly loved fine music and the other arts:
he gave substantial encouragement to prac-
titioners of those arts, and, altogether, he left
his country somewhat richer in those respects,
than he found it.
Yet it is very hard to say whether, in the
life of his time, this role actually outweighed
the other-that of big-shot banker.
For the Otto Kahn of Wall Street was an
other man, and those of us who live outside
Of New York and have little or nothing to do
with the money markets of the metropolis
weren't so familiar with him.
But if you let your memory wander back
to the early days of the century, and recall
the kEnous Northern Pacific corner" in
which Mil and Hartman waged bitter fight
for rairoad control and precipitated a panic
on the country in consequence, you'll get an
understanding of it.
Kahn was Harrimans banker, in that
titanic dog fight: he was in other words, one
Of the typical money lords of the stock mar
ket, one Of those men whom cartoonists used
to caricature as paunchy folk in frock coats
and top hats, with money bags clenched in
their fists.
And so you have the contrast; on the one
hand, the patron of the arts, the man who
helped to make American life richer and
fuller-and on the other, the money changer.
a leader in that class whose leadership has
been SO profoundly called into question Of late.
How are you going to strike balance be-
tween the two roles?
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1934-04-04
FEWER BANKS

A the big fish swallows the little one so
n large banks have been gobbling up small
banks. Thanks to this process, and the out
right failure of many small banks during the
depression, the tendency in the United States
is definitely toward fewer and bigger banks.
That has been the trend since 1921.
This development is studies in detail by a
Columbia university professor, DR.. John NJ.
Chapman, in his new book, Concentration of
Banking" columbia University Press. After
giving an impartial summary of the arguments
for and against. he concludes that more
branch banking properly conducted will
strength the financial and business structure.
He stresses the point that the concentra-
ton movement, which has been going on in
the United States, follows similar changes in
virtually all of the industrial countries of the
world
One of his interesting paradoxes is that
concentration in banking control will not lead
to greater concentration Of the nations funds
in the large cities, but the reverse.
Group banking, which has developed in
this country largely since 1927, in his judg-
ment is passing phase because cit has no
outstanding advantages not provided by
branch banking and lacks the centralized
management and responsibility common to the
branch system"
Edmund Platt. former vices governor of the
federal reserve board, in a foreword calls this
book the most complete and thorough study of
branch banking ever published in any
country.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1934-04-04
WEDNESDAY APRIL = 1884
DIR. WIRTS PET RED

TT must come as terrible disappointment to
L Dr. Writ, but Secretary Of Agriculture
Henry Wallace has just stated again his oppo-
sition to the RECOMMENDATION Of agriculture.
But to those who have been following the
course Of MI. Wanace's operations as secretary
of agriculture his most recent statement isn't
even news.
Secretary Wallace opposed the Bankhead
cotton control bill. But when the south. in
response to the poll he ordered upon the urg
ing Of the Bankhead brothers, showed it want
ed the bill. he reluctantly gave it his support.
He told the house agriculture committee that
he still had more faith in the voluntary APP
proach to a planned agriculture than most
people He was instrumental in changing the
bill SO that instead of applying compulsion all
down the line it brings into the cotton acre
age reduction campaign the recalcitrants who
endangered its success.
This week, speaking at a regional milk
meeting in Philadelphia Secretary Wallace
said: I think we must look forward to more
and more reliance upon voluntary co-opera-
ton among farmers, and view proposals for
recommendations with skepticism, at least until
experiment proves their worth"
In other words, Secretary Wallace now, as
ever hopes that common sense will bring
farmers into the administrations plan for
agriculture for the common good. He does not
favor attempts to create social consciousness
on the farms by compulsion of federal law
except as last resort
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1934-04-04
GABLE IS DOING
WORK FOR NATION

BY VI. Clevenger. Lima, o.
It is very obvious that DR.. 0. P.
GOuthey at Cadle tabernacle, who
is preacher-lecturer, has the correct
analysis for the depraved conditions
that exist today. 1t is true the
foundations Of this country, as well
as any legitimate business, rest upon
Christianity or Christian principals.
Therefore, as well as thousands
believe E. Howard Cadle and his in
Stitution are doing more for this
country than any organization in
existence and this is to be admitted
by any man Of average intelligence
now Withstanding the fact that it
is bringing the nation back to
prayer.
indianapolis proudly can boast to
support an institution such as the
nation has ever known and the tab
ernacle will go down in history as
being outstanding in its realm. We
can't conceive the stupendeous re-
suits obtained by this institution.
Neither words nor money could
compensate for such results. AS I
was saying, DR.. Gouthey Endorses the
above procedure for this nation to
employ. 1t will be a tonic to our
national affairs as well as our indi-
vidual life.
This man of God is setting this
nation on fire for God and it is
through Cadle tabernacle that In
dianapolis has the honor Of having
as its guest such a noted preacher.
I also want TO congratulate this
newspaper for its stand in this re-
construction program Of humanity
which is being recognized by ada
cent cities.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1934-04-04

services which already was due the
country.
Allow me to refer to this part of
the President address, made to
the American Legion at the con-
vention in Chicago 1t was this in
substance: Simply because you
wore uniform or did your duty to
your country you will have no adj
vantage over any other citizen. -
The very buildings shook with the
applause of the members of the le-
giOn there convened. But before
they left that convention they con-
structed four point program, and
all four of these points were what
prOdded and goaded (as dumb
oXen the majority Of our congress
to produce a new bill restoring a
great portion Of the pensions which
had been properly reduced by the
former economy bill. Their new
bill, meeting with the disfavor Of
the President, was answered by his
veto only to be overidden by that
feeble body
The men who voted for the bill in
the house and in the senate, and
the ones especially in those two
bodies which voted to override the
veto, are as Nero who fiddled while
Rome burned.
How many representatives did we
have in this state Of Indiana to
stand by the President? Of twelve
congressman and two senators,
fourteen representatives in all, there
was but one who sustained the veto,
that one being Senator Frederick
Van Mugs. We had in this or
chestra," which f1ddled while Rome
burned, one senator, Arthur R.
Robinson, and eight congressman.
Our other four congressman sat in
the audience with never a protest to
the sour, dicordant, opposed-to-
the = Presidents ideas of economy
notes emitting from that hey-dey
band. In other words, those four
did not have the courage of their
convictions in case they should have
housed anything akin to interest in
such a colossal event.
urge you to consider how your
representatives have failed to form
just decision favoring the new
deal. I remind you that on Tues
day, May 8, it will be your turn to
fiddle and theirs to dance.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1934-04-04

fight each other. That is the
Communist plan and they will
have their leaders call them out.
One of their Red leaders told me
so last summer. They expected to
be called out this month.
The bankers are the brains of
the NRA.
The only hope for the American
people is under Alfred Lawson's
plan Of direct credits; with the
government owning the money
and the banks The president of
the Farmers Union of Oklahoma
City gave valuable information
over the farm and home hour
radio program recently. You had
better get it and see the truth
before it is too late.
Do you see how idiotic it is to
claim prosperity and war at the
same time. Think, and you will
get vision.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1934-04-04
VOTERS CHANCE TO
FIDDLE is COMING
BY Chester Thumma

BY Chester Thumma
Nero fiddled while Rome burned,
then afterWard condemned the
Christians for the conflagration.
Likewise, if the Democratic adj
ministration fails, Roosevelt will get
the blame.
Last week the majority Of the
members Of congress fiddled while
the Presidents economy bill was
reduced to a seemingly hopeless
mass of cooling embers, but from
that smoldering heap will rise a
Phoenix. This Phoenix, in fact,
already has risen. 1t is the spirit
of the American people who do or
should now know that they have
been betrayed sufficiently by a large
majority of those whom they sent
to Washington to represent them.
The public in general, including
myself, is not opposed to the pay
ment Of adequate pensions to those
who by war were made widows or
orphans, or to any others whose
livelihood was depend upon the
man who, in glory to his country,
lay hfeless upon the field after the
battle. Absolutely we, the public,
would say to the government, PAY,
pay often and pay plenty" To
those who suffered wounds and to
those whose health was affected
in any way so as to render them
incapacitated to any extent, we
the public, would say to our gov
eminent, Pay, pay often and pay
plenty, according to that incapaci-
tation." But to those who make
claims simply because there was a
Spanish American war, Boxer rev.
olution in China, or a World war,
which involved this country, to those
who were but members of the fight
ing force of this country, who did
but their duty by donning the uni
form, and who in lot Of cases re-
turned in better health than when
they left-to such as these, the pub
lie will agree with our noble Presi-
dent that the national budget
should not be increased to pay for
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1934-04-04
UNCONvERTED CONvERTERS

CHILD and adult silk loom workers toll
and spin in New Jersey sweatshops for
starvation wages and from fourteen to sixteen
hours day, according to j. ]. Kehoe a
representative of the silk textile code author
ity for that region.
Family looms" have been set up in homes
where whole families and their relatives do
piece work. Mr.. Kehoe estimates that these
looms employ some three thousand adults and
eight hundred children. The total income of
four to eight persons ranges from SIS to $40
a week.
Over that blighted region no blue eagle
spreads its protecting wings
The get-rich-quick brokers who set up the
looms and hire the weavers are calIed. con-
Verters. Apparently the NFA needs to do a.
little converting of these converters.