davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Montana oil and mining journal. [volume] (Great Falls, Mont.) 1931-1953, 1934-12-15

his. investment Ibid a Rim Van
WinkIe'': it Iapsed into q long sleep,
during the time when eggs were 1Oc
a dozen and oil worth 20 cents q bar
rel The operator couldn't afford to
take the oil ont OF the ground and so
the royalty owners share OF the oil
fortunately stayed in the ground until
now, when the price OF S1.85 makes
IL profitable for the operator to drill
for and produce the oil. The royalty
investor Is better off that his invest
ment WAS buried"
But the most important thing about
the depression was not the increased
use of pencils bat the fact that the
little fellow had his big chance. Big
capital is the most timid thing I'm the
world. Et will stay I'm hiding whenever
the wind howis. During the the period
of emergence from the depression the
little fellow has had an opportunity
TO get royalty properties that never
would have been available had there
heen plenty of ''big money! around.
The man who was thrifty had $50 to
invest whereas he formerly had 500
to invest, but he put that 500 to work
with far more profitable results shan
could have been achieved In 1928.
IN recent weeks we bought a royalty
t4ateA - NaA CAAAAhkkAG VI WA2tAt We MtChANs
On the basis OF purchase OF this row
atty, this land must produce $50
worth OF OIL per acre 20 pay out the
investment. Thereafter, whenever the
farm produces 1902 worth OF oil per
acre: this investment nays 1907 pro-
fit. We can safely figure that the
average acre In the average North
Montana oil field will ur0duce $4,000
worth OF oil per acre. This is the kind
OF a proposition that can easily make
a fortune from a sKnaIl investment and
IL is certain that had there been no
depression we would never have been
able 20 buy Il ON such a bakas.
Another royalty we picked M ~
Gently In Cut Bank was ON the basis
OF a recovery OF 80 barrels Dey. acre.
The operator must get 1880 barrels
per acre Of recovery TO pay out his
drilling cost per location OF 10 acres.
Those are the EXCEPTIONAL bar
gains and not the average OF course.
They are pointed out as examples of
what the depression did for us, and
also show that those tremendous pro-
fits nre possible only to those who
are willing to learn how to FIGURE
royalty values. We do not pretend TO
teach arithmetic but 70 any who knows
SIKH grade school arithmetic we can
quickly show how to figure royalty
values, and with Il win give our cur
rent royalty offerings.
Montana oil and mining journal. [volume] (Great Falls, Mont.) 1931-1953, 1934-12-15


A tabloid newspaper offering 81
each for embarrassing moment
letters received the following
eplsties 4 work on an early night
shift IN q steel plant. I got home
an hour early last night and there
/ found another man with my wife.
/ was very much embarrassed
Please send me $500 as my wife
was also embarrassed. Tshe editor.
30 we are told sent a check for
$500 admitting the possibility that
the stranger too might have been
embarrassed.
y u q q
Burkey asks as What is
worse than a COW with coolies ?"
to which when we plead ingnor-
ance, he says, "a horse with a
buggy behind"
n q d y
Farmer: See here, young Teller,
what are You doing up that tree2
Boy: One of your apples fell
down and I'm trying to put it back.
q q y q
Holiday Pome
Little bank roll ere we part,
Let me press you TO my heart.
All the year I've worked for you:
I've been faithful, you've been true.
Little bank roll. in a day
You and ! viii go away.
To find some gay and festive spot;
I'll return=but you will not.
u q q q
JOlIying the Passenger
Lady Con her first ocean Voy-
age): "And, captain, what would
you do If your crew suddenly
mutinied?"
Captain Csmilingly): simply
write help wanted ad and hand
it in to the wireless operator"
q y q q
The Debate
What are the town fathers de-
bating7"
whether to keep up the good
roads and fine the motorists for
speeding, or maintain a mudhole
and charge them for hauling EN-
out"
At a fashionable dinner party in |
a young girl noted for her |
in repartee, sat next to a |
Bishop. The girl provoked much /
laughter from her venerable partner |
during the meal.
During the fish course the Bish-
Dp spilled some salt. Gracefully 1
be took a pinch Of ii and tossed It /
over hts shoulder with some joking
Unfortunately some Of theJ
Montana oil and mining journal. [volume] (Great Falls, Mont.) 1931-1953, 1934-12-15

nay HEN the next depression
that the recent depression viii
be the last one-wiH we be prepared?
Some OF ms have already made MP
cur minds. Those OF IA wac were
wrecked In the stock market are de-
teg7rined that, another time, we win
not have our money IN stocks wh1ch
are not backed up by actual cash
values.
Those Of us who were caught with
high priced lands are determined that
another time we win have lands only
where the PRODUCTION of the ag-
rfcultural products, rather than what
someone else might pay, win be the
basis of value.
In other words. the great lesson
that the depression taught all Of MS
is THE PROPER USE OF A PENCIL.
Many an investor was wiped ont in
the recent depression who had never
applied a pencil to his investments,
other than TO figure his paper profits.
Now we all realize the Importance
Of the adage which President Roosevelt
stressess
Remember, o Stranger Ar
ithmetic is the First Of the
Sciences and the Mother Of
Safety"
II we had been more familiar with
the use of a head pencil, many Of MS
would never have put our money anto
stocks which could never have paad
out. We would never have paid $500
an acre for lands that win not pro
duce $500 worth of agricultural pro-
fits per acre In TEN years.
The same thing applies 20 the oil
business. II am on operator were to
drin an oil well costing sc, 900 ON
land which win not produce $50, 900
worth OF oil ne is destined to '.go
broke" Unless he takes q pencil and
figures, he VIII never driU 8 well
excepting q wildcat well fn new Ter
tOry-where he cannot figure his
probable recovery and see 9 profit
therein.
In other words, II an operator has
40 acres ON which he is TO drill four
wells costing $40, 600 each, he must
be able TO figure q recovery from the
sand not only OF $50, 600 but OF not
less than three times $50, 600. There
would be no profit in risIxin@ the loss
Of $50, 600 90 get $50, 600 worth of
OIL out OF the ground. He MUST be
able to figure q MINIMUM profit OF
three-to-one. Those who doR't figure
soon drop ont of the oil business.
The investor takes the same atti-
tude. He knows that the best royalty
Montana oil and mining journal. [volume] (Great Falls, Mont.) 1931-1953, 1934-12-15
MTNINq pIVIpENDs IN HEApLINEs

Mining dividends again occupy the headlines Of the financial
news of the Canadian mining dividends have already
ceeded all previous records the Occur Aene district this
doubling the dividends 1888 Montana mining
barely getting ways little early for dividends but
the great fortunes few years being built by the
mining operators getting under way Swmovng operations
such as dredging distributing large dividends but handbook
mining barely arriving the stage where the production Of
gold IS paving for mills and machinery
Montana oil and mining journal. [volume] (Great Falls, Mont.) 1931-1953, 1934-12-15
oPPOsE TAx ON GOLD

Strong opposition has developed
in Canada against the royalty Of
$3.50 an ounce which the Can
adian government imposed this
year on gold produced in Canada.
The Ontario government disputes
the right of the federal authorities
to collect. such q royalty. In any
case, it Is an emergency measure,
due to expire in the early summer
OF 1895.
Montana oil and mining journal. [volume] (Great Falls, Mont.) 1931-1953, 1934-12-15
Oil Trade Notes
Of Interest to Refiners and Marketers
OIL TAXES AVERAGE s1.11 PER BARREL

crude
Oil costing sOe to produce and selling market price OF
booklet Competition, pub
from he
Pointing out that the tax collector has become the biggest and
industries
declares that the collector is competing for dollar the
pocket.
Researches whether levied the cOmmOd
somebody has them Just that much taken from
that market o business"
gasoline in gasoline
S to to
selling Of Jersey
Montana oil and mining journal. [volume] (Great Falls, Mont.) 1931-1953, 1934-12-15

salt slipped down the girls hhek.
'Ah. Bishop" she smiled. ''you
can't catch ms that wayi"
y y q q
IN MOVIE LANGUAGE
Mrs. Blupe: did you see the
Smith twins?"
Blupe: yes"
The Mrs. Don't you think the
boy Is q picture Of his father"
Biupe: II sure do-and the girl
is a talkie Of her mother
q q q y
ALI EXPLAINED
Husband: who Is that man r.
Wife: Il don't know"
But heard you cali him darl-
ing"
II call him darling because I
do not know his name"
q y q a
JUSTTFIABIaE HOMICIDE
A certain Cut Bank oil man
is noted for his thriftiness.
Strangely, he is OF Scotch decent.
Imagine our amaxement, at a recent
selected little dinner, at the Gerald
Cafe to hear him call for the check.
He biushed as he looked at it, but
paid it like a man.
The next days papers carried
this headline:
'1Scotchman Murders Ventrilo-
Quistl"
q n q n
Sam, colored gentleman, was be-
ing implored by a church commit
tee OF brethren to contribute to a
special fund the church was trying
to raise. But Sam was obdurate.
Well" said one Of the brothers
with a clincher Of an argument,
don't you all think you owes de
Lawd anything?"
HOh. sure, ali does, said Sam,
only He amt pressin' me like nah
other creditors is.
Montana oil and mining journal. [volume] (Great Falls, Mont.) 1931-1953, 1934-12-15
nm. sTOCKa nROP

wASHIrgGTON-The oil admin
istration reported today that stocks
of domestic and foreign crude. tot
aling 325,97O, 600 barrels on Dec.
8, were 1870 barrels under the
total a week earlier.
Montana oil and mining journal. [volume] (Great Falls, Mont.) 1931-1953, 1934-12-15

Alaska-Juneau mine showed a
profit Of $4,000 for the month
OF September.
Montana oil and mining journal. [volume] (Great Falls, Mont.) 1931-1953, 1934-12-15
DoNsr FoRaEr YOUR Han

DON'T FORGET YOUR HAT
The Bore: "I'm rather good ~
limitations. I initiate almost any
bird you can name"
She fstlfifng q yawn): How
&bOut q homing Pige0ng"
a y y 81
The fair, Fat and forty are against
this here imitation. They know
how hard It IS to stop once you start.
OIL CODE OUT
Los .AfSGELEST-The MIRA code
of fair competition, at least as It
applies to oil production, Is He
gal in California, Superior Judge
Empmett H. Wilson ruled today.
SEND A CONTRIBUTION TO
THE sUNBURsT BADGER
Montana oil and mining journal. [volume] (Great Falls, Mont.) 1931-1953, 1934-12-15

SEND A CONTRIBUTION 10
THE sUNBURsT BADGER
The Waterbury Democrat., 1934-12-13
Dictatorship Reflects Faults

], Once more a European dictator pre- l, sents America with a first-rate object lesson in the bloody price that any people must pay for submitting to autocratlc rtlle This time the lesson comes from < Russia. A few months ago it came from Germany. A relatively short time before that it came from Austria. And though the < course of events differed in each case, the lesson to be derived therefrom is the same.
 The assassination of Sergi Maronovlch Kiroff, member of the Soviet Polltlcal Bureau. is answered in the only way an autocratic country can answer such deed by wholesale arrests, rapld-flfe CrlalS and an appalling number of executions. AL last accounts, 66 people have been eXecuV- ed in reprisal - the reprisal being the governments way of replying to the only kind of criticism that is available to Russian nowadays.
 And that is just the point of all of these tragedies Where free discussion IS shut off. ballot boxes are sealed and ordinary processes of self-government are abol- ished. there is only one way in which man can express his opposition to govern ment policies-by violence. The uprising in Austria which resulted in the murder of such men as Roehm and Von Schle1cher, ard now this Russian upheaval which sent 6e people before the firing squads - all of these bloody and desperate events are part and parcel of the autocratic process. They come with the bicycle. If you treat yourself to dictatorship, there is no way in which you can escape such things.
 Now we have been told in recent years that the tide is setting away from demo- cratic processes, that freedom is luxury too expensive for the modern world and that self-government is too inefficient and cumbersome to be tolerated in high speed, mechanical commonwealth. There is a substratum of truth in these asser- tions. People have grown dislllusloned with democracy; freedom can be retained only by making sacrifices; democratic governments cannot always act with speed and decisiveness.
 But assassinations and mass executions % on the other side of the ledger. They reflect an inefficiency greater and more costly than anything to be found in democracy; the inefficiency or depotlsm, by which the inevitable manifestations ot human dissent can be expressed and answered only by bloody violence.
The Waterbury Democrat., 1934-12-13
Legal Spelling

An ingenious lawyer went to the legal division of MIRA with discovery he had made. In all the codes he found the word "employee" with two "e's". According to his photographic notions that made the word feminine and, according to his rea- soning the codes therefore could apply only to female workers. He could have saved himself time and trouble by consult ing some good dictionary of the English language.
 He might be right if the codes were written in French. But "employee' is the established English spelling, formed in the same way as ''payee', "mortgagee", "con- signee" and similar terms originally French. There sems to be no good author ity for leaving off the final ''e', as is often done, so used, it is merely the spelling adopted by the organ that spells it thusly, as for instance, this paper Neither is there good authority for pretending it is still French word, and trying to utter that terrible, mouthful 'ong -plwah-yay." A lot of legal technicalities are about as valid and important as this.
The Waterbury Democrat., 1934-12-13
Cloud Shooting Pilots

One of the transcontinental commercial air lines is equipping its regular transport pilots with photography outfits and train ing them to "shoot" clouds and other phe- nomena observed during flights. The pur- pose is to assemble rapidly great amount of additional material for meteorological study.
 Aerial weather observations are made regularly in many places by pilots who go up with special instruments to report on winds, temperatures, and so on. The trans port pilots who cover SD many miles day after day on their regular routes have a chance, it is thought to make more con- tinuous observations from which new weather facts may be learned.
 This is part of the constant quest for greater safety for air transportation. Stronger planes, better motors, improved safety devices, able pilots and accurate weather forecasts are all needed for the achievement of this purpose.
The Waterbury Democrat., 1934-12-13
So They Say

Japan must be prepared to face with firm determination any power so i'll advised as to eX- pand it's navy in disregard of Japans fair offers of a disarmament agreement Admiral Mineo Osumi, Japanese minister of the navy.
 In the past I've been pretty good at talking to tigers, but not good with elephants. Alfred E. Smith, dedicatng New York zoo.
 
 If Mir Roosevelt can't jam a compromise down throats, he will pay off the bonus be- fore congress meets next month. James l.. Van Zandt, commander in chief vet of Foreign Wars.
 Only God bend the fascist will; men and things, never.
 Premier Mussolini. If occurs between Japan and Russia, Japan will certainly be defeated and that will be the end of Japan. pr Sherwood Eddy, secretary in Asia for the Y. NJ. C. A.
The Waterbury Democrat., 1934-12-13
Catch Cancer Early

One of the most dangerous things about cancer is that people have been too thor oughly persuaded that it is utterly incur able. Feeling that way about 1t, ana rear, <, inc the maIady so greatly, many people lali to seek medical attention in time-ano their fear of an incurable disease is trans lated into fact. M Nou
 xnsk cItv Cancer Institute. remarked re- csntlv That fully 40 per cent of the cancer ss ssy .ss now heinz cared for as hopeless would .,nt he in that state if patients were edu- seied 's to seek aid from the proper sources in time. .... .a.a..ia,, Now s,.si. hs4llh anthorilles designated the past ..<*'i1 sr Dcancer Month"; Health author: '.'ss '' are convinced that f both public and
The Waterbury Democrat., 1934-12-13
Business and Government

Even with all the evidences of progress
 out of the depression, including more re-
 tail buying than for several years, thls Is
 going to be the hardest winter yet as re-
 gards unemployment and relief. More families have reached the end of their re-
 sources. In the big industrial cities there are already more people to feed than ever before one family out of every slX' and sometiems more than that. Local state and national governments, public charity and private charity, are going 70 have their hands full.
 The situation can be handled, because there is plenty of money in the country ana the governments credit is still good. But there should be frank appreciation of these facts and their meaning. The only hope ot Teducing this vast relief burden is through increasing employment. There are indlca- lions of what some people would call nat ural upturn in employment starting early in the spring, and possibly increasing through the year. But nobody can sately take that for granted. Even now, when so
 many think the crisis is almost over, the
 nation is not going to get itself out or the
 denression without heroic and unselhsh
 team work. The government alone can't do it. Busl-
 ness alone can't do it. Both together can
 The best hope that has appeared tnis year
 comes from the recent inclination oI
 American business-as shown by the banK-
 ora. manufacturers and chambers or com
 mrece-to play ball with the government
 and of the government to be as considera'e
 AS possible with business.
The Waterbury Democrat., 1934-12-13
Press Comment
GOVERNOR CROSS "DOEs
 NOT CHOOSE"
(Hartford Courant.)

When Governor Cross wrote, in his letter asking the members ot his stan to accept reappointment for another term, "It is not likely that I shall again be a candidate for governor" he doubtless had no intention of being cryptic. The politicians of both major parties will note that he did not say that in no circumstances would be run again. The governor probably had no intention of taking himself def- initely and finally out of considera- . ton, for the simple reason that conditions two years hence may change his outlook. For the pres ent, however, the prospects are that he will not run again. The governor says as much and stops. On the score of his age alone the governor is perhaps justified III feeling that his next term should be his last. Although he is as youthful as good health, lively spirits and nimble mind can make a man, he is nevertheless seyenty-two, and were he to con sider another campaign he would
 be obligating himself to discharge the duties of the chief executive into his seventy-seventh year. At present, he is fully capable of do- ing all that Is required of a gov- ernor, and more too, as his con- tinued editorship of the Yale Re-
 view demonstrates, but the future | is an uncertain business.
 None the less, Governor Cross has not finally closed the door to a renomination, and should the sit uation require, the likelihood that
 he now expressed may be reversed. If so, mere age might readily be
 overlooked. Connecticut has been fortunate in the men of age who have served it in public office. MT Schuyler Merritt at eighty is still the bright light in the congression-
 al delegation of the state, while only a short time ago Connecticut thrice elected a republican for governor-''Uncle Marcus" Hol- comb-who did not take office un- til he was past seventy. And be- fore him another septuagenarian, Simeon Baldwin, like Governor
 Cross a democrat, served for two terms. Should the situation In 1886 appear differently to Uncle
 Toby" he would have ample pre- cedent on the score of age for making another run.
The Waterbury Democrat., 1934-12-13

to making speeches before
 business men assuring them
 the MIRA means them no
 harm, that's all we'll that ends
 we'll
 SMITH, YES-BORAH, NO!
 The national convention sec retly planned by the Liberty League for late this month will / be without benefit of Senator Bill Borah.
 hen league masterminds concocted their scheme, they hit on the brilliant idea of inviting Borah and Alfred D. Smith as the keynote speakers.
 The brown derby champion signified his willingness to come.
 But the laundering Idahoan, despite strong pleas. including message from Smith, has refus- ed.
 He may delight in blasting the New Deal and flaying the gop, but he is enrolling under no third party banner bearing the name of Ircnee duPont. ON ICE
 Senate parliamentarians are privately offering odds that West |. Virginia's 29-year-old Rush Holt will not be allowed to take his seat when congress convenes.
 The champion college orator doe not reach the constitutional age of 30 until next June. and the old timers say that the oath of office will be withheld until then.
 Inside word is that the proced- ure of challenging Holt already has been agreed on among the floor leaders.
 When he steps up to take the oath a republican will raise the issue of his age. Holt will be asked to step aside, and the mat ter sent to a committee.
 Young Holt's claim that he has a senate precedent in the case of Henry Clay, who was seated before he was 30, Is dis counted by the constitutionalists.
 They cite a sitting member or
The Waterbury Democrat., 1934-12-13
ChuckleCorner
NosING AROUND
By John Loux

A great many of the handsome sights one sees in Paris are com monly known as parasites.
 It's not the clothes that make" the men-it's the women. A word of praise for nifty Jean He gets his dates without a ''bean".
 Salty Fam had thought he'd like to be tied up, but he didn't know he'd be tied down.
 A yodeling Swiss so tall and fair Slumped to hls knees In deep
 despair. With countenance wan and bleak
 and chill
 He knelt in shame upon the hill. For along with his echo. so faint His own haiitosis came back to
 him.
 An automobile shop is a building whore they take your car when it's broken. then to hx it they break you to.
 If q driy0F motions right for q left turn, he must turn iekt Co efder to % right.
 Come be my bride, my darling Flo, [ have no job--i need youF douah.
 A husband who establishes hinls self hinn Of the hople and lounges around With feet on the library table ls AlgllnR with destruction, 8Omeday hlH wife swill happen home from bri6ge eiiih sssiv
The Waterbury Democrat., 1934-12-13
THE EDITOR

o. Where in Paris is the banh of the Rothschild Brothers locat- ed?
 A. 21 Rue Lafitte.
 o. What is the title of the sons sung by Norma Shearer in the pie ture "The Barretts of Wimpole Street7" Who composed 1t?
 A.. "Wilt Thou Have My Hand, :" by Herbert Stothart. It has not been published. Q. What is coal tar and what are it's uses?
 A. It is one of the by-products of coal, and provides the most fer tile field for the perfume chemist, and is used also as the base for many other chemicals, dyes and medicines.
 If you want a copy of our bul- letin TOwe (the new cariatiOll Of Contract Bridge), write to the Wa terbury DeniOcFat's Washington Bureau, enclosing five cents in postage stamps.