Imperial Valley press., 1934-11-24
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BY HENRY McLEMORE
Inited Press Staff Correspondent

Omttu fTeSS Stdil SOITtopuhuChs
NEW HAVEN, Conn, Nov. "a. -
This dispatch may never reach you
for I must send it to the telegraph
office by messenger boy, and the
messenger boy must ride New Ha-
ven street car, and riding a New
Haven street car on Yale Harvard
day is a combination of going over
the top, eating bowl of Spaghet-
ii in the midst of red riot, and
trying to match a bit of ribbon in
Macy's basement late Christmas
Eve.
If the messenger boy manages to
get only himself back he will have
shot par for the course. Riding a
Street car 4here on Yale-Harvard
day presents three major problems
Cd getting on co hanging on CD
getting off.
Getting on offers the greatest diff
ficulty. By the time the cars pass
the railroad station, the chief point
of embarkation, they are so jam
med you'd swear another person
couldn't get on even if he had a
letter from his pastor and search
warrant from his sheriff. Yet -
and this most amazing-people do
get on. and continue to get on every
block of the three mile trip to the
bowl. BY the time it arrives there it
is street car no longer, and has
become a jellied mass of citizens
equipped with air brakes, cane seats,
headlights at both ends, and a con
ductor who has quit thinking about
nickels and is worrying about his
life insurance.
Once aboard, hanging on is a
problem for the cars are of the old
fashioned openair variety with no
sides. The greatest danger is a pas
senger with a cough, for statistics,
dating back to 1873, show that for
every cought a passenger has been
shaken loose and lost. 1t is an un-
written law that passengers, when
a cough becomes imperative must
yell "Tippicanoe and Tyler, tool" as
a warning.
AS tough as the ride is on the
passengers, it's tougher on the con
ductor. It's not generally known,
but Edgar Rice Burroughs gained
his inspiration for Tarzan from
watching the conductor on one of
those Yale Harvard cars make his
collection. The little platform that
runs around the car is smothered
with customers, but the conductor
must make it the best way he can.
Like a monkey in tree, he swings
from overcoat belt to overcoat belt;
from fur neckpiece to fur neckplece.
There are times when you would
bet your last penny he was going to
fall, but. chirping his cry OF fareS
please. fares please" he always
manages to hang on.
It is nothing for a conductor to
make a complete trip around the
car without once touching his feet
to anything more solid than pro-
ker's neck, a bankers bay-window or
housewives calypigian."
Getting off is simple but danger
Gus. When the car stops the custo-
mers who compose the inner ID
rows, or core, at a given signal,
draw deep breaths. This blasts the
outer Is rows off into the street.
A chiropractor then is summoned,
and he untangles the inner Is rows,
giving, as near as is possible, the
right legs, arms and heads, to the
proper owners.
Now for an analysis of the game
itself! Through my operatives l
have learned that Cd Yale is
slight favorite (2) Yale will wear
blue jersies, Harvard crimson ones
go both will start II men (D the
rival waterboys are in the pink CD
neither team had hamburger steak
for lunch (6) 1t will be a game OF
much spirit, with rye prevailing CD
Yale thinks Harvard will win CD
Harvard thinks Yale will win 90
Yale will either win or lose the toss
and O0) the referee, a middle-aged
gent, will look a bit silly in his
white linen knickers.