The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1934-05-15


was both mental and physical.
With much solicitude I provided
doctors, nurses and hospitals,
which strained me financially. AT
So she recovered to what seemed
a reasonably normal healthy con-
dition and her desires returned to
about what was normal for her.
At 46 I had a dangerous illness
and never since have been as
strong physically as my wife. She
seemed to resent my illness, al
though it is a silent resentment,
not expressed in words. She cares
for my comforts kindly enough,
although it is more like the care
of sympathetic nurse than that
of wife.
I have provided better for her
than she had been provided for
at home, and have given her more
than any of her brothers and sis
tiers ever have had. She loves her
daughters, mother, brothers and
sisters inordinately, but I can not
detect any spontaneous outpour-
ing of the heart toward me. She
seems to take me for granted.
She has become altogether in
different to me as lover. Our
physician says she is normal ply
sically and that there is no ap-
parent reason why she should be
thus. We never quarrel over this
and very seldom speak in anger.
In friendly talk told her saw
no reason why she should object
if I found relief from another. I
have no moral inhibitions against
this, but l do love and respect my
wife. One embrace from her would
solve my problem. What do you
say?
Answer-If your physician as
sures you that your wife's deficit in
vitality is not due. to physical
causes, then it must be psychology
ical. But since the woman is a
closed book to me, I can not help
you much. If she would write ex-
planning her lack or response, ]
could do better, but aloof women
usually keep their own secrets in
such matters.
1t takes two persons to make one
cold woman. No matter how well
they mean, men are exceptionally
blind to the psychic factors which
affect women. The most bitter COM
plant that comes to the column
concerns the husbands lack of
imagination, his ignorance of the
aesthetic needs of his wife.
Some women decline because of
the lack of artistic form. Some are
in revolt against one phase of mar
riage which they do not like. Some
are unable to merge their personal
tiles with another, or they feel that
the husband is incapable of enter
ing into their own feelings. Mar =
complain of the barriers raised by
differing tastes. Monotony of ap-
proach often causes the wife to be-
come intoxicated with her own cold
ness, and she behaves as if she
sought the needed variation in her
own indifference.
The best thing you can do is to
study your wife's temperament I'M
til you cultivate a greater emotional
awareness. What conditions arouse
her to tenderness? I've heard some
of the most f-contained women
confess to vague yearnings during a
concert. Others are stimulated by
reading erotic literature. Some crave
an elaborate wooing by the husband,
and are completely changed by the
recreation of the conditions of the
Rest from the cares of house
keeping, relief from the problem of
children, prolonged vacations and
from the husband some
times liberate energies for love-
making. All these suggestions are
merely guesses gathered from OBJ
of other cases. Perhaps
some of them will help you.
Even with your wife's consent, a
love affair with another women will
lead to unexpected complications.
Many men have tried this solution,
but usually got in trouble with the
other woman, who soon learned to
more than the original
agreement called for.