The Waterbury Democrat., 1934-09-11
5 elf f-Elev evating Golf Tee Created By Twizzletwitch

The world of golf will be a far better place in which odub, after Amos o. Twizzlewitch, veteran member of the Bryant Park Coun- try Club - with a fine view of the Sixth Avenue "L" = displays the collection of his inventions at the testimonial dinner which the metropolitan section of the Pro- fessional Golfers Association tenders to Paul Runyan, 134 cham pion, at the Hotel Commodore on September 29th. The committee on arrangements announced yes- terday that the vet-ran golfer will forsake his goth hole (the first bench Forty Second Street) to en- tighten the world of golf, as a specnal feature of the huge event.
 All Set
 By grapefruit telegraph it was learned that the new TwiZZlewitch "self-elevating Golf Tee" which automatically adjusts itself to the golfers swing and prevents top ping, has at last been perfected. and will be demonstrated by Amos himself, from the dais of the Commodore at the dinner. It is hoped also, that the Neck-stiffen- ing Liniment, designed to keep the duffers' heads down, will have been perfected by the 29th also. and Amos is busy training his Duck diver Retriever which solves the problem of what to do with golf balls that alight in the middle of a deep water hazard.
 Twizzlewitch pointed out yester- day that his first communique to the waiting world of golf, via the press agent route. had spelled the word veteran" as "vet-ran" and that this was correct. both from the standpoint of Golf Esperanto and also for fact = as the park policeman usually run Amos out of his country club before he com- pletes his latest invention - Bry- ant Park being what it is.
 There may be complications be- tween Amos and Joseph Moscatelii, famed maitre de hotel of the Com : modore, the might of the dinner. Amos long debated between the purchase of his $5.50 ticket and the matter of proper formal garb. As a compromise = the $5.50 be- ! ing a missing ingredient with Amos { - he has decided to bring his own sandwiches and make valiant eff fort to raise the $5.50 or sufficient fherof to rent the customary formal evening attire for the func- ton. The latter will also give him a chance to have his veteran plus fours overhauled for the winter season, during which Twizzlewitch xoes south = to the courses Of Corlears Hook.
 Twizzlewitch will visit Chicago next month, to attend a conven- ton at the Worlds Fair of the Deaf and Dumb Caddies Guild. or which he is an honorary member. lower berth, beneath one of the He win travel in his own sub newest types of Erie freight cars as \ matter of sentiment. having long been friend of the Harri- man interests.
 Something New
 sT am now busily engaged in the development of my Backspin brake for the 136 golf ball" pr Twizzle- witch announced loftily yesteroav = keeping wnetner-eye (whether to stay or run) out TOT the guardian of the ctty's parks. s~This will result in fine approacn shots, prOvldlng l cdn duJeSs ', brakes so as not to have the par, Epin halfway back to the origino position of the shot. am apou' fo seek an injunction against company now putting out the Mag netic Green Cup, which uses mag nets to attract the ball as soon as n11ffed - this is a most distardIy end unsportsmanlilxe thing to m. vent. Think of the possibility oi shocking little children on the green!
 Here the Professor was.suddeniy eal1ed 10 a directors meeting some where below Thirfy-Ninth street, and your correspondent just missed being bowled over by the greens keeper In the person of Patrol man Mcguire who was evidentiy