, 1934-12-08
The World
AT Glance
~ LESLIE III
Central Press staff Writer

CLEVELAND, Dec. s.-"Why don't
YOU write something funny AGAIN."
queries r. Nc. You're too serious"
Well. we've Just been with some
people who have laughed all night
long. In fact. they have roared. We
should, therefore, have imbided
some Of that jollity.
But We have not. We have been
staying at a hotel during a conven-
ton Of 10000 men. II has been one
Of those conventions during which
bottles are thrown out OF windows
and the furniture has 70 be nailed
down
At Night
There Is no law prohibiting night
noises IN the United States. In fact,
the more noise one makes, the fun
nier he Is supposed to be.
We have been thinking OF trying
tn 20 TO sleep by ? a. n. az least,
but the liquor these gentlemen I'm
bibe doesn't seem TO get In its most
effective work till after that. II IS
a strange thing concerning conyen-
tionS-men who 90 TO them do not
seem 10 hold their liquor well.
Three drinks causes the average
conventioneer 10 whoopee worse
than a Wild injun.
Wives al Home
The majority OF conventloneers
leave their wives al home.
Then they try TO be naughty.
But they make such a mess OF y.
Ten 10 one their wives are bet
ter looking.
AT least. my wife and 7, after
observing the assortment decided
so.
Songs
Three SeidelS Of beer SET some con-
ventioneers past 50l 70 singing. But
they could think OF no times eN-
cept some Christmas lingles.
They reared ove that.
One knew they cut the lawn ~
summer and fired the furnace N
winter.
Yet they began banging al doors
1T ? z. m. when at home they Woulo
be tipt0eing In. AT last they we're
letting looSel
Soon again they would be at home
| denouncinr the criminal element
and demanding stricter law en-
forcement.
We know all the walters mere
abouts
what do these Conventioneers
eat besides lobster?' we asked.
The response was mourniu.
"Steak and potatoes. They wreck
| these table d'hote places. Now YOU
ali. YOU. eat a little this and = lt-
tie that. and Il all Is nothing You
arc civilized
Detective
Each night We had promised ouI
wife % complain 70 the hotel con-
corning this undue noise.
Finally she sought refuge Use
where.
The hotel had made no effort 70
tame this revenue" Where we're
the house detectives. anyway?
we were angry. We we're packing
our trunks. ready TO move. The ooo'
was y y a bit, for the porter Wa
coming for our trunks.
Suddenly a man flung Y VIDE
! open. we thought he was another
Of the DRINKS banging on doors.
What DO you rant?' We demand
ed
Before We knew IL ne were be-
ing questioned. He Vas a house C.
tective. He thought VIC were ROB
binr our own trunks
We darted him the dirtiest ioos
ve ever have darted az anybody.
Money. Money.
There Is money. money every
where and not a place to invest 10
That Is the CRY in every mone'
capital IN the world.
The gold for which men have
sacrificed their lives for ages buy
rothinF when idle. And the mor'
II stacks up. the less II Is worth
No other nation In the world
history has had as much actua
money stacked up as the Unitet
states now has-snd Yet wheels d'
not turn fast enough to consumI
Ii.
For money. too. 10 Be worth any
thing. must be consumed, like othe.
natural resources. Money Is a sym.
Dol OF exchange as water power o.
coal is a symbol Of power.
It Is not money that starts wheel
but wheels that start money. ant
consumption that starts trade.
Thus. until the mass Of people II
the world have the means and thu
security to impel them 70 buy
neither wheels nor money moves.
And prosperity merely Is a mat
ter OF velocity OF turnover.
Admiral Byrd has added a vas
area 10 United States territory. anc
it's in the Antarctic where Soml
OF our politicians can't get at 4
so quickly.