The Waterbury Democrat., 1934-09-20
In New York
By PAUL HARRISON

New York-Odds and ends: This may be a true story or a fable, but it has the true cosmo politan flavor, anyway
 A Central European immigrant I landed in New York two years agoI and being an independent fellow bent on becoming an Am erican, decided not to live. among his own people in the Hungarian quarter Instead he wandered
 about the city alone. finally settled in the Spanish quarter, on the edge
 of Harlem. and began repairing shoes. He talked eagerly to every one who came into the shop, with people in the streets, and spent long evenings conversing with his | landlord.
 Finally he decided he knew enough about the language to i-take out citizenship papers, and went to apply for them. To his dismay, the naturalization people couldn't seem to understand Il word he said. Finally came the discouragins discovery that he had
 wasted the two years in learning
 to speak Spanish.
 Book News. Lots of people buy books with
 no intention of reading them. Down on Book Row on Fourth Avenue. secondhand books often are sold by the yard. Women come with tape measures to select in- pressive-looking volumes to fill new book cases. Theatrical con- cerns often buy them for props in
 new plays, although most of the books you see in libraries behind
 the footlights are just artificial fronts.
 Confusion as to Cemeteries. Out on Long Island there Is a branch of the s. F. CA. situated right next to the cemetery of d church. A lady drove up in a Limousine one day an dto,d the
 astonished animal man that she
 had come to bury Jimmy. It turn ed out that Jimmy had been her
 dog. that he had died of old age,
 and she had had him crematcd.
 The ashes were now in an en- graved silver box.
 l The man explained that he had
 nothing to do with the cemetery,
 but that he. would direct her to
 an animal cemetery, farther out, where the interment of Jimmy,s
 ashes might be arranged. The ] weeping lady said no, she guessed l, she wo,fl try to get Jimmy laid to rest in her own family plot. The
 man never did hear how 1t came out.
 | A r.sa-... xs.. i. rS.......
 A couple of Broadwaymen who
 are patients Of pr Nat Lief. a
 painless dentist who has e collec-
 ton of teeth yanked from cele- brities, played a mean trick on
 him recently. While the doctor was out of his ofgce one of the men donned white coat and the
 other wrapped towel around his jaw. Then they opened a window
 and in full view of crowded Broad
 way began yelling at the tops of their voices. The doctor" bran
 dfshed a huge mallet and chisel,
 and the patient" howled as though suffering excruciating pain. In no time the street was jammed, and | police came charging up to halt what loomed like the preliminar. les to homicide ... pr Lief lost at least two patients thereby; the jokers now are afraid to get. into
 his chair.
 Smiles On NewIyweds.
 There was quite furor about
 a decade ago when the newspap- CTS discovered that the architects of st Thomas Church on Fifth avenue had played q crafty joke on the city's most fashionable Episcopal parish. What the de- signcrs had done was gently to lampoon' various prominent per- sons and institutions in the carv- ings decorating the Gothic struc- ture. And in the tracery over the vestry deor--the door by which brides and grecmg usually leave the church--they had worked in
 q trus'Iovers knot and . dollar
 The excitement subsIded. ana C
 was generally believed that tho pllloGiIonni,le carvings hnd beav removed. Tsey bsvent. fife 4oilsr
 alsn zsiII locks aoNn sardpnlesily
 on ths mergers of bine bieed and money.