The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1934-01-17
Manners and Morals
RY JANE JORDAN

like a good time as well as any
one.
My husband says he loves me,
but he is gone at least one night
a week, and sometimes from Fri
day night until Monday morning.
He is mostly always drunk when
he gets home and won't say where
he has been. He tries to get me
to smoke and drink. I have tried,
but I don't care to.
I don't fuss at him because
nothing is gained in fussing. I
have been thinking about leaving
him as soon as I can find work.
I would like to study art and have
nothing more to do with men.
When I ask my husband why he
does this way, he says he doesn't
know. Men don't want a good
woman.
AnSwer-Your husband is speak
ing the truth when he says that
he does not know why he behaves
as he does. Few men can bear to
look inward for motives. Simple
creatures of impulse, they like to
follow the desire of the moment
without being bounded for reasons.
The chances are that your hus-
band leaves home for excitement,
for release from the humdrum, for
more stirring than the
domestic scene offers. 1t is the eter-
nal sameneSS of marriage that drives
husbands to seek disreputable play
fellows.
There is a streak of coarseneSs in
most men which they are obliged
to repress in the presence of the
average good woman" Under the
dulling influence of alcohol they find
courage to indulge the side of their
natures for which the good wife has
no tolerance.
A man does want a good woman
if by good we mean that her fires
can be stirred by him alone. What
ne does not want is a dull woman
who does not know how to be eX-
citing when excitement is his need
He is most apt to be held by the
woman who is not always the same
whose moods and lenses he can not
predict. The wife who has no sur
priseS left in her system may expect
serious lapseS of interest on the part
of her husband.
I could help you more if I knew
what your husbands complaints
against you are. AS it is, all I can
suggest is that you make life more
entertaining at home. Ask your huS-
bands friends to the house, and try
to enter into his kind of a good
time.
Dear Jane Jordan-I am a
young man "a. have a very good
position with a wonderful future,
but very little pay at the present
time. Yes, I am in love. Very
much so, with a dear sweet girl.
She is a private secretary, and
was called out of town to be gone
. the better part of year.
She has made lot of good
friends where she is located, and
they are showing her marvel
Gus time. I am very glad of this,
naturally, but do you think that
being on the merry-go-round as
she is, she will lose her love for
me? It's said that absence makes
the heart grow fonder of some
body else.
I can't get her out of my mind,
even for second. The thoughts
of her are interfering with my
work, my sleep and everything
that I try to do. I go to shows,
dances and parties, but she is al
ways before my eyes. What can
I do, not to forget her, but to
make my life little happier as I
really am miserable.
Answer-Absence makes the heart
grow fonder of somebody else only
when the attachment wasn't very
deep in the beginning. Like many
flippant sayings it has an element
of truth in it, but you must take
refuge in more philosophical atti-
tude. If any one else can win her
you don't want her.
Nobody can help you to acquire
such an attitude but yourself. Other
interests, valiantly pursued, are the
only means of breaking an obSeS-
sion. And you must break it before
you begin to fail in your work.
All these energies which are be-
ing wasted in useless fears and ap-
prehensions can be made to work
for you in solving your problem. II
you marshal your forces and fling
them into your job. your salary will
increase soner than you expect.
This is votlr Only safe defense