The Washington times., 1934-09-27

jobs as bal Helen E''ary
loon looseners in the Anti-Star-
ling Brigade.
In case you haven't heard
the new plan-when the pink
and blue balloons mount in the
trees, the starlings, frightened,
will fly, fly away and never,
never come back. Like the
blackbirdS in the nursery
rhyme.
It's a pretty idea, and Super
tntendent of Trees Lanham'S
own.
But why not sharpShooters
in stratoSpheres, Mr.. Lanham?
It seems more practical.
The delightful Virginia gen.
tleman, R. Walton Moore, has
dug romance out of the gloomy
foreign trade records of the
State Department. Polished it
In his graceful manner. And
disguised it as an agreement
with Colombia.
To give a dignified approach
to his theme of emerald mines
and goddesSes, the Assistant
Secretary of State has intro
duced the Central American
pact with statistics on the ne
ceSsity of building up our for
eign trade.
Then, the preamble out of his
way, Mr.. Moore mentions with
pleasure (you sense it in the
phraseology) that the principal
exports from Colombia are cof-
fee (for inspiration-all of the
parentheses are my own; plat.
mum for blondes); gold (for
the U. S. Treasury, of course);
Panama hats (for staggering
cavaliers) and ivory nuts
(Which I regret to say have no
human connection, but are
merely the nuts Of commerce
coming from the tagua tree
and used in making buttons).
The last and most fascinating
product-and the one which
appealed most to Mr.. Moore'S
imagination-iS the emerald.
Eneralds, it seems, are more
plentiful in Colombia than any
where else. The emerald
mines there have been worked
for over 400 years, almost since
Columbus discovered the New
World.
At one time, however they
were lost to knowledge for over
no years. The jungle COM
pletely enveloped them. They
were rediscovered only about 20
Or 80 years ago.
According to tradition, an en-
erald the size of an ostrich egg
found in a Colombia mine was
worshiped by the Indians as a
goddess.
The next subject is merely
to show the variety of interests
of the present Government. Its
theme was not remotely Sug-
gested by any recent major be-
reavement enjoyed by the MIRA.
The contribution of Chicago
lawyer, laboring in the MIRA, it
tells sympathetically of the
troubles of the coffin makers,
designated under the code as
the Funeral Supply Industry.
The Funeral Supply Industry,
so says my contributor, is bit
ter at it's handicaps in compari-
son with other industries.
In the first place, the volume
Of its business is beyond its
control. Expansion of its mar
ket is impossible by any means
of education or advertising al
lowed by law.
It is regrettable, though true,
that one dare not entice a per-
son to take life or aid or abet
O person in eliminating life for
the purpose of adding to the
human dead, from whom this
industry makes it's living.
Nature must take its course
before the Funeral Supply In
dustry can take it's profit. And
you know how unreliable ma.
ture is.
It is because of this situation
that the industry, under pres
sure of competition, has mer-
chandiSed upward. This, of
course, has no spiritual impli-
cations. It simply means that
it has had to give attention
to price.
It is most discouraging that
the number Of funeral estab-
lishments has increased nearly
90. per cent since 1929, and the
number of funeral directors has
increased about so per cent since
1900, whereas the gross volume
Of deaths has increased only
about or per cent.
With the span of life length
ening. with the birth rate and
infant mortality steadily fall
ing off, with manufacturers and
undertakers rapidly growing in
number, and with the total
deaths estimated for 1888 about
Z per cent below the 1929 level,
the National Recovery Admin
iStration faces another one Of
those new problems in helping
hard-presSed industry.