Worcester Democrat and the ledger-enterprise. (Pocomoke City, Md.) 1921-1953, 1934-10-19
"Chirps" ~
from the
Democrats Pen

Well, somebody said that the Demo-
Gratis had a big time at Berlin on
Wednesday evening of last week. |
don't know whether they did or not,
that is, don't know whether they
were Democrats. I've got my doubts
about it, because the only Democrat
in the county was not present. l re-
fer to my 'steemed contemporary, Mr..
Howcome? Mr.. Hokum, Mr.. Buncombe
or something like that. If ne is
Democrat, then all those who gather
ed in the northern Worcester city are
something else. He says he's DEM
ocrat, always has been, and always
expects to be.
really am too modest to say just
what a statement like that actually
is. But all I got to say, If he were
to claim Satan for a adddy, no one
would be rash enough to dispute the
genealogy. You all know what Old
Nick is said to be the father of. Mr..
Howcome is a Democrat and sup
ports Nice, Wimbrow, Dukes, and the
rest. Seems to me he takes us all
for Nin-com-poops. He evidently
thinks that all the common sense that's
circulating in Worcester now is what
he brought down with him from Yam
kee Land. If any Democrat can be
fooled into swallowing any of his CUFF,
then such one is transmogrified into
another specimen of animal-or poll
INSTRUMENTATION. Just what to
call it, don't.
You know, it's right amusing the
way my Yankee friend (?) gushes
forth into print. He certainly has
greater belief in form than in con-
tent. For instance, if he wants to
drive home one of his clinching CD
arguments, here is about the way 1t
looks:
"Some animals is HORSES. They
has TWO LEGS abaft which KICKS,
and two for'rd WHICH PAWS, but
they RUNS and WALKS on all Of
'em. They has TAILS which they
SWITCH, and RECKON that's why
a WOMAN'S FALSE HAIR is called
a SWITCH. I OUGHT to KNOW
about SWITCHES because SWITCH
ED from REPUBLICAN to DEMO-
Graf to REPUBLICAN to MUG
WUMP."
All those "caps" indicate that the
people of Worcester have to have a
thing brought to their eyes, their
minds don't count. Eastern Shore peo-
pie, he said, hold their eyes and
mouths open to gulp down his gush
and haven't mind enough to see the
small talk under the big point. Mr..
Hokum uses his big type like ne
would big club; he knocks 'em down
as the cave man did the woman he
wanted for his mate, and, strange to
say some Of 'em really like that way
of counting. But really they should
think of the life the poor DANES led
under the domination of the male
spouse.
Well, if Mr.. Buncombe is a Demo-
crat, I am Queen Victoria, alive or
dead. If he is a Democrat, I want
to be an angel and with the angels
stand. If he is Democrat, I am a
whale, an express train, or an air
ship. Why, he doesn't like to mingle
with Democrats; wonder if he stayed
away from the dinner last week, be-
cause he thought he might suffer
from Indigestion, beause Of his eating
good old Southern food. His stomach
is used to prune pies for breakfast;
sauer kraut for lunch; and tripe for
dinner. And some of his political
calumny bears analogy to his cpl
curean physical condiments He thrives
on buzzards' diet and can scent car
rion from almost unbelievable heights.
Like an old hen, clucking to her brood,
he calls on good Eastern Shore Wor-
cester CONTAINS to come nibbling at
his highly scented offal.
Well, some of 'em have done it and
now are sick to their "stummicks."
'Twont be long before what he has
fed will sour and up it will come.
Then they'll turn to the good old DEM
ocratic tonic to give new coating to
their innards; the real physic which
makes 'em have revenous appetite
for Democratic ballots on November
6, next and in order.