davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
La gaceta., 1934-05-01

Y Ia derrota a Pearson.

Los Atleticos vencieron en- los
dos Gltimos innings" del desa :
fio, ayudados por un 'tribey" de
Coleman y "jonrones" de Higgin
y Finney.
Con Andrews de pitcher los
'Tigres fueron derrotados por los
Browns.
Exceptuando al lanzador ba-
tearon de hit" todos los pelote-
ros dirigidos por Hornsby.
New York 7c, 12h, 2e.
Washington &c, 11h, lie.
Cleveland Toe, 14h, 1e.
Chicago zoe, 18h, lie.
FiIadelfia &c, 12h, De.
Boston &c, Oh, 4e.
St. Louis 7c, 13h, De.
Detroit &c, Oh, 4e.
La gaceta., 1934-05-01

nocido y especialmente al YER
q Bienvenido.
-IQue deseas PIE pregunt6
su padre.
NADIA. venia...-contest6
cortada la j6ven.
IQue! tie extraha Yer
aqui a Bienvenido?
ST, padre. IC6mo esta a
-iCalle listed, por Dios!-di
!jo a Pedro Bienvenido, tirando-
lie de la chaqueta.
-Pues... que lie he encontra-
do y lie he invitado a cenar.
-Pero...
NO tengas cuidado: nj til
nj yo 10 hemos de decir a la ma
drina. Vaya! lQue venias a bus
or o a decirme?
Que mi madrina me ha d.
La gaceta., 1934-05-01

cho... que desea confesar con ell
padre Celestino.
-Pero... Gtan NAL Sc encuen-
ira?
Cree que 81. Ahora Sc ha le-
vantado y me ha pedido que la
,lleve recado de escribir.
Como escribir!
81, padre, Sc ha empenado
en- escribir una carta.
81, padre. Sc ha empenado
en- escribir una carta.
IA quien?
No 10 Sc. No me 10 ha dicho.
De modo que mientraS ella es-
cribe, 81 pudiera listed avisar al
padre.
va pensaba yo acompanar
a este. De modo que de un tiro
matare dos pajaros. listed, Sc
nor Sulpicio, esta en- su casa, 81
La gaceta., 1934-05-01
FL TlEM'G

Nublados parciales con posi- :
bles aguaceros para hoy y maila-
ma. Vientos moderados del Nor
deste.
Maxima temperature aver 80
grades; mfnima, IS.
Marea alta a las 1857 a. m. Y
2:39 p. m.
Marea baja, a las 8 :52 a. m. y
1917 p. m.
La gaceta., 1934-05-01
PROGRAMA DE LUCHAS EN-
Ell CIRCULO

I'm programa de luchas sera
ofrecido manana por la noche en-
la Arena del Circulo Cubano, ba
10 Ia direction de John Rex
Hawkins.
George Romanoff, que dice ser
ell campe6n del peso medic, lu :
chara con Sammy George, y Jim
my Lcngacre, exatleta de la Uni
,versidad de Pennsylvania, ten :
dra de adversario a Farmer
Vance, veterano de Iowa.
La gaceta., 1934-05-01

quiere, Sc acuesta antes de que
.yo venga. Sino, ahi queda Juana
que lie dara conversation.
-Esperare que listed vuelva.
-Bien. Conque... vamonos,
muchacho,-dijo a Bienvenido.
ST listed quiere, no Sc moles
tie. Yo lie dire al padre que y lie
acompanare aqui.
NO, no.. Lo que es tn, no me
andas solo eSta noche por ell cam
po,-Pedro, tomando su sombre-
10 y su garrote.
-iPor que?-pregunt6 sor-
prendida Aurora.
-Por NADIA, por NADIA. va el
me comprende,-contest6 Pedro
con una significativa sonrisa.
La gaceta., 1934-05-01

Los pugilistas tampenos que :
dan enterados de que la Fedora
.ci6n Castellana de Boxeo, con of
cinas en- Madrid, ACADIA de decla-
rar vacante los titulos de cam :
pe6n de los pesos pesados, semi
pesados y medios.
La misma Federation ha desig
nado al asturiano Jose de la Pc
ma como retador en- la categoria
del peso weller, y a Duarte como
retador en- la del peso de puma.
La gaceta., 1934-05-01
CON LOS GUANTES

En- Valencia, Sangchill venci6
por 'nocaut" a Victor Ferrard,
ell excampe6n de Europa. Fer :
rand recibi6 un gancho de IL :
Iquierda al higado, en- ell segundo,
y ell arbitro lego a la cuenta de
Volvi6 a caer en- ell tercero
Y esta vez fueron llamadas las
mulillas.
En- ell mismo programa HERE
La gaceta., 1934-05-01

Ell ptgil austriaco Neubauer,
aspirante al titulo de campe6n
europeo del peso medic, Sc batira
con ell ingles Jack McAvol.
Hoy dia primero de Mayo, en-
Londres, Jack Doyle Sc batira
con ell corpulento Pettifer, que
recientemente hiciera una vista
a los Estados Unidos.
La gaceta., 1934-05-01
CAPITULO xxx
Woes de la c~onciemcia

Aurora Permaneci6 en- la coci-
ma donde estaban Sulpicio y su
iI"ure' mientras Dorotea escri-
Neamos que era 10 que aquella
oeSdlchada decia a su hiia, en- su
carta.
D%otea, calenturienta y bajo
e. dominic de IN tenaz pensa-
"IIeHto' habiase envuelto en- una
0oata y echado sobre sus hombros
II eapa de abrigo, a pesar de
que Ia temperature de la habita-
.elon era mas bien calurosa que
La gaceta., 1934-05-01
"a "acost6" a Ortiz, en- ell tercer
asalto, Y Alloy venci6 por puntos
a Monies.

Ell cubano Mabribran derroto
Ipor nocaut, en- ell septimo asalto,
al frances Dellean. La pelea Sc
verified en- Burdeos.
La gaceta., 1934-05-01

Cincinnati &C, Sh, 2e.
St. Louis 10c, TN, lie.
Boston 4c, Oh, lie.
Filadelfia sc, 11h, 2e.
Brooklyn DC, 5h, 2e.
New York sc, 10h, De.
La gaceta., 1934-05-01
TONIC II
A MADRES
QUE dos BENDICE

Pedro, dijo a Juana quien era
ell senior Sulpicio y 10 que el lie
habia propuesto, y POGO des-
pues Sc sentaban a la mesa par
ticular de los criados de Doro-
tea, en- la que humeaba una a
bundante cena.
No habian terminate de ce-
mar, cuando entr6 de pronto Au
rora. las
6orprendi6se ante Ell desco-
- f-~-~-.~
La gaceta., 1934-05-01

Folletfn de La Gaceta No. 42O
La gaceta., 1934-05-01

Su vigor tsico ha de manrenerse az 'NVel ne IL am't-
ci6n de su alna ST quiere I'd yer rea1izados s"s 'l':
hermosos ensuenos.
I'm buen ccrebro en- IN cuerpo deOu t'ei~ n"SoaS so
has. Puede legar hasta cierto punto!-y l1"da mas
"a fine, "a f,sica Dol 10 general dependr d. 1: sAnsre
La sangre delgada, debil, aguada, def~-ente ca hfsrro '
cklulas ro;as. produce un cuerpo faco, endeJle, nlacilerfos
que necesita aguijarse para que haga IN *si''c'zo-
La gaceta., 1934-05-01

Suscricion semanal: 20 cents
La gaceta., 1934-05-01

Victoriano Manteiga, Editor
St. Croix tribune. [volume] (Christiansted, St. Croix, V.I.) 1922-1937, 1934-04-24
3 Minutes Dat
Flakes

5 MINUTES DAT FLAX ESI;s a cereal
made an Ter a special process. Inc gan.
uine is sold in the package with the
BIG RED 3.
This special process during which the
oats are FiRELESo COOKED Al THE
MILL FOR IL HOURS in their huis
seals il all the delicious flavor and rich
nourisnnent of natures choicest grain.
8 MINUTES 0AT FLAKES build
bone aod muscle. provides energy with
out creating body heat. Particularly
recomm ended as hea. giving food for
infants, children and invalids.
SpsGla! Sale :
42oz.Vpackage with Cups, and. Saucers
35cts,5
ID OF. package IL cents
10 OF. tins II cents. I.
20 or tins p cents.
At Walls Grocery
St. Croix tribune. [volume] (Christiansted, St. Croix, V.I.) 1922-1937, 1934-04-24
DAWNIC STEAMSHIP CORPORATION
S. S. "ORITANI

is scheduled TO sail from New Yor k
en- the 18th April ard is ex-
pected to arrive at: Frederiksted
on or about the oath instant and will be
dispatched for the Windward and Lee
ward Islands accepting freight. mail and
passengers.
ARNOLD M. GOLDEN.
Agent.
St. Croix tribune. [volume] (Christiansted, St. Croix, V.I.) 1922-1937, 1934-04-24
IS. s. ORMES"

is expected FLO arrive at Frederiksted
from the Windward and Leeward Ia
lands on or about the oath instant and
will be dispatched for New York ac-
cepting mail freight aud passengers.
ARNOLD M. GOLDEN,
Agent.
St. Croix tribune. [volume] (Christiansted, St. Croix, V.I.) 1922-1937, 1934-04-24
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Evening star., 1934-07-28
Recommended
ApAR TMENTX
Q0n 10Th 81 NV.

goo 18th st. NV.
Es:$: E$$$ s'ss:: sssi:s ss:s s:ss :sss$
sviteSsoard Resident mar.
29Ol 10th St. NV.
The Radnor -- Refriawation.
Elevators. Resident .manager
rooms. bath. porch $500
2I0o + St. NV.
1 room. kitchen lAth.. $3.50
2 rooms. kitchen. tath. :. si1.5O
Dining alcOveE. in-a- Jocr bed
| refriaeratien. Resident mgr.
27l4 Quarry Rd. NV.
! , room. @ sitsnsn, ,.i,..s.. ss.h ,i,r $500
Resident manager.
1920 Chaplin st. NV.
. rooms. Kitchen. bath. :, s47.So
RefriEeration included. Resi-
dent mAnager
1921 Belmont st. NV.
blnS. .Issss' hssseq ihs.aooi s.te bed 's''0
Resident manager.
1922 Wis. Ave. NV.
rooms, kitchen bath -. sl2.5O
Refriseration II desired.
22l5 14th St. NV.
3 rooms. bath, porch, 49,. eAS.Qo
With refriEeratlon ....s.. 5000
49 T St. NV.
3 rooms. kitchen. bath .. $3.50
1770 Columbia Rd.
rooms bath porch -, .ss7.Bo
2l12 Pa. Ave. NV.
FSSm: rooms ElsShsn. Elsshhsn Ssss Ssss ssi.SS sssS
931 @ st. NV.
2 rooms. kitchen. bath. -. $500
1900 Wyo. Ave. NV.
/ room. bath, porch. ...,,. $4,000
32l7 Mt. Pleasant St.
2 rooms kitchen. bath s42.5O
1417 Mass Ave. Sc.
4 rooms. han and bath. $500
FLATS
12a5-4g 8. CAR, AVE. Sc.
3 rooms. bath, porch. .831.bO
Gas heating boilers.
$40 NORRIS ST. NE.
8 rooms and bath .... 92B.5O
ISHANNON & LUCHSl
1908 II st NV. MA. 2s4B
Evening star., 1934-07-28
KEYSTONE

2150 Pa Ave, NV.
Switchboard. elec ref on house cur
rent. elevator Resident manager
r.. X ea., b.. b. c....S4 S43.00
l rm.. enc. pch-, bath. bed closet,
rec. hall a. kit. equip. 1900. 81 so
and i bath tii..''.'.... ".i' ua'. S'oo' ~. go 90
Evening star., 1934-07-28
LA RENE

5425 Conn. Ave. NV.
24-hour elevator and switchboard
service. Electric refrigeration on house
currents garage in basement Laundry
facilities Resident manager
r.. k.. d. a.. B.. $40 90 to 1900
Evening star., 1934-07-28
THE WEST VIEW
pARAMnIrNr

sac Quincy St. NV.
Elev.,, res. mgr. aas & elec. free
D r.. k. b.. d. a.. porch.
foyer er.,........ $1,000 and S72.0O
Evening star., 1934-07-28
LIE ROURGET

2121 California st. NV.
Electric refrisers ton on house cur
rent. elevator. resident manage.
2 r, K a. .......... $500
Evening star., 1934-07-28
THE SEDGWTCK
s221 Conn. AVE. N.W.

ITEK IVth Et. NV.
switchboard elevator. reside
manager. Electric refrigeratiol
Evening star., 1934-07-28
COMMODORE

Electric refriseration on house cur
rent. Resident mana@er
2 r.. H., ............... S62 80
Evening star., 1934-07-28
3220 CONN. AVE. NV.
(Betweer Klingie Bridge and
MaeOurh St1

FINE apartment house section,
moderate rentals 24-hour service.
tree refrigeration; tile baths. built
In tubs, showers; garage space.
! room. bath. S31: furn.. $3.50.
3 r. kit. 2 baths. SIS; furn., 500.
2 rooms, kit, dinette. bath. So so
Evening star., 1934-07-28
THE DRESDEN
GOTHAM

2I2e Conn. Ave NV.
Electric refrig elevator and switch
hoard service. Res mgr on premises
r., K. Il b.............,. 100
Evening star., 1934-07-28
HAMPTON COURTS

XBI3 New HampehIFe Ave. NV.
Near 10th ST.
QUIET location Close to car and
bus. Ten minutes downtown. "a
hour switchboard and elevator serv-
ice, Frigidaire on house meter.
| room. foyer. kitchen and bath.
2 and 2 rooms. foyer, kitchen and
tile bath. $50 to SIS. Resident
mAnager. Potomac 1850.
Evening star., 1934-07-28
DIRECTORY OF UNFURNISFTED APARTMENTS |
t417 CHAPLIN CT wv

DeiiEhtfgi 3.fo8m. Kitchen. bath front.
sctshssn eKp,. YsfriR. perfect condition,
80 50 Apply AIT. z. 29s
Evening star., 1934-07-28
WASHINGTON

WASHINGTON
LOAN q TRUST CO.
Rental Assnt
1920 MASS. AVE. NV.
Apt. q. h. a h..... 5000
WOODWORTH
Art. = is"s i2th $. .S,sTa.rm
STERLING
1918 Calvert 81. NV.
Arts. ! r. . (. fe.&'S.'.......s1o.sggse
CLAIBORNE
Ap... .. ssA 4 sH kss' .,.' NV.
HUNTINGTON
e7f5 Ilth 81. NV.
ASts, 4 Il j r. = {. h b. ssS-ssSS
ELDON
p33 L 81. NV.
Apts. 2 r. X. q b.. .s41.50-s52.5O
SARANAC
1900 North Capitol st.
Apts. 8 s T.. 4. a b. Sl5-e6s.Bo
BRANDON
1910 Mass. Ave. NV.
APT: Is r.. Z. a b.. elee.
SEVILLE
aI2g 18th st, NV.
Apt, 9i-4 r., k. A b.. 5000
MARLBOROUGH
ptJ 18th st. NV.
ST0DDERT
2eOo Q 81. NV.
Apts. 4 & 5 T., X. a b, $50 TO SEQ
LAWRENCE
Apis. 4 8 T.. K. d S.. 5000
MONTGOMERY
1871 North Capitol n,
Apts. 3 r.. k. n 49,. e30-SI6
1440 r.. 1. AVE. NV.
Apts. . r. K. a. b... s42.5O
1861 PARK RID. NV.
Apts. 2 & 3 r.. X. & b.. e45-s60
1903 18th ST. NV.
Apt. Ga T. & &b......... 5000
NAVARRO
a. .i1 Z ST. NV. .o.oo
r., K a D.. .NSo.UV
223 r ST. NE.
y Ass ~ o D. %oGsVV
REGINA
f21l Eye So. NV.
Apts. 5 r.. k. a b.. $50 10 S62.5O
FLATS FOR RENT
1928 ID ST. S.E.
Apt. 2 r.. K. e. b.... S32.6O
WASHINGTON
LOAN q TRUST CO.
9th & r NV. Ma. 3440
Evening star., 1934-07-28

1TI7 goth st. NV.
Electric refrisefation ca house cur.
rert; resident manager
2 rms, kit. ca. b ........ 5000
% IH r., bss.sss ss...ss..s... bSsOU
Evening star., 1934-07-28
aS20 W PLACE NM

N. III. Ave. and 30
Elevator and switchboard servicei
elec ref. on h. CT resident rnarseer
r.. r.. b. b................. S47.00
Evening star., 1934-07-28
UNDER SAUL MANAGEMENT
GET OUR FOR RENT LIST
3541 nth st. NV
ais p ST. NV.

Electric refIis. on h. c. Res. mgr.
r., K, o. s-............ 533 .oO
Evening star., 1934-07-28
2I0O 18th ST. NV.

1a45 Calvert ST. NV.
Elec. ref. res. mgr. elev.
rms. k. r. H.. b.. ......S S56 so
Evening star., 1934-07-28
THE DUPONT

slee. Eefrissrstion. Resident msnsFsr so
Evening star., 1934-07-28
3eI4 CONN. AVE. NV
1Te4 COLUMBIA m. NV,

Electric refrigeration on house cur
rent; resident manaEer
2 r., h.. 49,. S44.00 TO $50. 90
Evening star., 1934-07-28

EIectfIc HeIrIBefhtlOh.
r.. H.. b.. ................ S45 OF
Evening star., 1934-07-28
1870 EuCLIn ST. NV.

Elevator, switchboard, resident man
sser; electric refris. on house current
< T.. x. g o. ....... e. Sa...n
Evening star., 1934-07-28
7ss NEWTON SIT.

s621 Newark 81. NV.
Elevator building, resident manager
Electric refrigeFation on house current.
2 r. K. b. $4,000 to $3.50
Evening star., 1934-07-28
14l4 v ST. NV.

3 rooms. kitchen and
bath. Resident manager,
Evening star., 1934-07-28

IBUB CUNN. AVE. NV.
Elevator electric refrigerstion on
souse ouLlent' Issiueas nsna w txE M
Evening star., 1934-07-28
214s O ST. NV.

Elsv., elec. ref on house current
Resident Manager
! rm., H.. b. .....,.- $3.50
: Ems'' H. o.. .-...s..s.s-.sss. 5O.u0
Evening star., 1934-07-28
1883 COLUMBIA RID NV.

The IMPERIAL.
2 rooms. kitchen ana ar.
bath S52 so: 4 and 8 $52.l
rooms. kitchen bath to
and porch Electric &o7
refrigeration Resi-
dart y7an.0a~
Evening star., 1934-07-28

We Oi be glad furnish list Of ranging pe
from 500 o $500 month";
Evening star., 1934-07-28
1895 COLUMBIA RID. NV.

Beverly Courts.
rooms. kitchen. bath;
rooms. kitchen. bath 9an 0c
and porch and
rooms. kit h en- 70
baths Electric refrig- $lZ5
Grafton. Resident
nlRnakeF
Evening star., 1934-07-28
asa4 nth 81 NV

1879 X 81. NV.
Elevator, resident manager switch.
hoard electric refriR. on house current.
. r. K A. n sac 90
Evening star., 1934-07-28
1888 COLUMBIA ROAD

2 rooms, kitchen and
bath. 8 rooms, kitch- %Ag m
en- and bath. Mechan-
tcal refriseration on 10
house current Gas $57.6C
included in rent. Resi-
dem manager
Evening star., 1934-07-28

/ room, dressing closet. bath,
ssth rSOT 9Sos ntIatsc fsch.a siqstts Ssts
corner. $3.50. Elevator: refrisera-
tien on house meter. Resident man
Evening star., 1934-07-28
THE NEWARK

Frig on house current. Resident
manager
2 rms. H. b........s4 s45.oo
Evening star., 1934-07-28

Electric refrig. Resident manaEer
2 r., X, b. ........sst...... ST. 90
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1934-11-22
TWENTY-FIVE MARRIAGES
PERFORMED DURING WEEK
Brings Total for November To
r.; 2 Marked Don't Publish

Twenty-Five marriage licenses were
issued during the week ending at noon
on Monday from the office of the Clerk
of the Circuit Court. The total for the
month thus far is 72.
Two of those issued were marked
don't publish" while one applicant
was refused license.
Allen Thurman Ellis, 81, clerk, and
Ruth Joan Jarvis, 10, both Of Weston,
West Va.
Franklin Lorraine Flowers, 81, min
err, and Mildred Mamula, 81, both of
Morgantown, W. Va.
Walter Harry Drennen, 81, buck
ster, and Gladys Virginia Boyce, 10,
both of Fairmont, W. Va.
Marion Eugene Currey, %, truck
driver, Harrisville, W. Va, and Gen
evieve Tallman Conway, 81, Penns-
boro, w. Va.
Rancelor Nolan Sisler, %, truck
driver, and Loretta Beatrice Friend,
81, both of Friendsville, Md.
William Playford Romesburg, "a,
salesman, and Olive Florence Nelson,
81, both of Uniontown, Pa.
Henry Harold Saffie, %, mould re-
pairman, and Bebe Iselene Hess, 20,
both of Fairmont, W. Va.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1934-11-22
McHENRY

John Glotfelty and family spent
Sunday at the Howard Glotfelty home.
Mr.. and Mrs. Elmer Bernard were
Sunday dinner guests of Mr.. and Mrs.
Lambert Bernard at Swanton.
Mrs. Lowdermilk has been quite i'll.
Wade Carr and Earle Harvey, who
are stationed at the Bond CCC camp,
spent the weekend here with their
home folks.
Mr.. and Mrs. Walter Hamill, of
Deer Park, spent Saturday evening
here with Mrs Hamill's parents.
Mrs. Jonas Glotfelty, Jr., and chill
dren and Mrs. Sidney Harvey spent
Sunday with Mr.. and Mrs. George
Glotfelty.
The revival meeting which was in
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1934-11-22

funny at the drop of hat, we'd be in
Hollywood writing gags for Will Rog-
ers and Joe E. Brown at $3.50 per
week instead of not writing them for
The Republican at 500 90. You're
smart enough to see that.
And, even admitting that at times
we are very funny Though few peo-
pie willy, we cannot keep it up indef-
nitely.
If you think it's easy, just try be-
ing funny now, on the spur Of the mo-
ment!
Now! Now! Don't run for the fam
lily joke book. Just keep sitting right
where you are and start being funny.
Make the wife laugh. Make the kiddies
laugh. Make the horse laugh! Not so
easy, is it?
All right, then, suppose you had to
be funny for a whole column-191a
inches from top to bottom, 826 words
count them)! And suppose that you
also had a bad cold, that your bank
account was overdrawn, that your
wife forgot to order bread for din
ner, that the car had a fiat tire and
none of your shirts had top button.
(Stop it! We're getting homesickD
Some fun, Ell kid?
That's reason No. 1, and how we'll
we know it! Here it is 10 p. M, on
Tuesday, and we have to be funny be-
tween now and morning or there won't
be a column this week. And it amt
time for the Millennium!
*%*
Reason No. why We Cans Be
Funny Every Week, in case you just
arrived) is that the new jokes get
around too quickly. Before the radio
started peddling jokes it was easy to
make folks believe we were the smart
est fellow in town. All we had to do
was loaf around the hotels and de-
pot, trade jokes with the drummers
and next week print the new ones,
often with major alterations. The
jokes being new to this locality, the
people gave credit to the editor for
being a big wit, which was half right.
(Note-This is known as a pun, and
you have our word for it that it is
very, very funny.
And that's how Mark Twain got his
start.
But times have changed and the
radio hurls the latest gags into every
farm and fireside in these United
States. Chances are that you've heard
the latest Travelling Salesman and
Farmers Daughter tale long before
we have.
So there's no chance of passing off
else's joke as your own. That
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1934-11-22

Forest Cecil Pingley, %, merchant
and Mary Elizabeth Miller, %, both
of Elkins, w. Va.
Harold James Montgomery, 81, stu.
dent, Gore, W. Va, and Helen Maxine
Shaffer, IS, Usage, W. Va.
Arnold Ellsworth Malott, %, stud.
ent, Core, W. Va, and Kath1y IN Eliza
beth Brand, 10, student, Vaudeville
w. Va.
LAUREL Kenneth Petit, &c, boiler
maker, Burnt House, W. Va, and Rose
Aretta Quinn, %, Eva, W. Va.
Virgil Thomas Smith, "a, glass wor-
ker, and Mildred Icophena Pritts, "a.
clerk, both of Clarksburg, W. Va.
Glendon Wothey Gould, %, clerk
and Marion Katheryn Black, "a, both
of Steubenville, Ohio.
Charles Carter Brown, 81, miner,
and Josephine Beatrice Little, 18, both
of Watson, W. Va.
Wilbur Arnold Bowser, 10 (parents'
consent), farmer, McHenry, Md, and
Marie Margaret Simmons, Is (par-
ents' consent), Crellin, Nd.
Jesse James Liner, %, mechanic,
and Emma Lou Graham, 81, both of
Clarksburg, w. Va.
Roe McClanahan, 25, miner, Sandy
Fork, w. Va, and Susie McCauIey. 10.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1934-11-22
is, unless you're Eddie Cantor!

Now for the third reason (and if
you've forgotten the reason For
What? you can get your money back
at the box office):
What's funny to one person may be
horse of another color to someone
else. There are too many senses of
humor!
Some people think it's funny to
pound you on sun-burned back and
shout "Glad to see You're Back"
pardon US a moment while we go
into hysterics).
Others go into stitches when you
ask them if thy wanna Buy a Duck.
Ask a few morons who was that
lady you seen them with last night
and they'll answer, "That was no
ladle; that was spoon" Mercy!
Thus we bring to swift conclusion
Lesson No. in Why We Can't Be
Funny All the Time; or How 1t Feels
To Fall Flat Once a Week.
And if you don't mind, dear teacher,
we'd like to leave the room and be on
our way!
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1934-11-22
Mill Creek. W. Va.

Mill Greek, w. Va.
Joseph Nabera, 80, miner, and Su-
san Porto, IS, both of Lewisville, w.
Va.
Roscoe Dennis Arbogast, At, electri-
clan, and Bessie Tallman, 80, both of
Morgantown, w. Va.
Merrell Eli Fulton, 33, miner, and
Hazel Elizabeth Lipscomb, 81, both of
Kempton, Nd.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1934-11-22

progress at the U. B. church, closed
last week. The services were under
the direction of the Rev. S. A. lessee.
Clarence Long has secured employ
ment at Webster Springs, W. Va.
Misses Gladys Paugh and Anna
Skipper, of Sand Flat, were Sunday
guests of Misses Mona and Maude
Harvey.
Mrs. Hattie Glotfelty spent Satur-
day afternoon with Mrs. ]. Alvin
Friend at Sang Run, Mrs. Friend be-
ing dangerous ill as the result of be-
ing gored and trampled by a heifer
at the family home on Thursday af-
ternoon.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1934-11-22

Owing to the fact that I'm a regular
gadabout this week, I'll let somebody
else do all the thinking. He's fellow
columnist, in the same trouble Pm in.
He's Clay Miller and writes in the
Roane County CIV. Va.) Reporter. The
column isn't his, word for word, but
almost. Excuz, plez, but Pm Balti-
moreing this week, and leaving very
shortly.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1934-11-22
Magic Formula

Magic Ormula
A pert little fellow, waddling in
here the other day, proceeded to tell
how we could make this column a
constant and bowling success.
"It's not bad, even now," he soft
soaped, "but you could make it bet
ter" Then he whispered the magic
formula: "Make it funny!"
AS easy as that, Ell?
Now to a person who has never
tried to write a piece for the papers
this may sound like safe and sound
advice. You'll know about that! But
to US it sounds about the same as (1)
serving notice on your wife that the
next child must be twin girls or (2)
planning to live to be 104 years, 9
days and 4 hours old; or 90 telling
your grandmother to go out and pitch
for Brooklyn.
In other words, boys and girls, try
and do it!
Nh
So we are to be funny, are we?
Every week in every sheet we are to
become funnier and funnier. SEE you!
Offhand, we can think of but three
reasons for declining the invitation,
with thanks.
In the first place, if we could be
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1934-11-22

Above are list prices of pas
seneer cars at Flint, Mich.
With bumpers, spare tire and
tire lock, the List price of
Master Models is $40 addi-
tionaL. Prices subject to change
without notice.
The Daily Alaska empire., 1934-03-22
PASTORS CONVENTION TO
 BE HELD AT KETCHIKAN

Pastor L. E. Christmas of Wash ington, D. O., an associate secre- tary of the Home Missionary de- partment of the Seventh-Day Ad- ventist church, arrived in Ketchi- kan recently on the Northland to attend the church convention be- ing held there next month.
 The convention will be held early in April and in the intervening two-week period the visitor plans to accompany Pastor H. L. Wood of the local church on a tour of mission stations in Southeastern Alaska. They will travel on the launch Messenger, maintained by the church.
 Pastor L. E. Esteb, Union Home Mission secretary for the North Pacific union conference of this church will arrive on the next trip of the Northland, also arriving for the convention.
 Pastor Christmas spent eight years in mission work at the southern end of the South Ameri- can continent in Magellan straits