Worcester Democrat and the ledger-enterprise. (Pocomoke City, Md.) 1921-1953, 1934-06-29
~
from the
Democrats Pen

view, and the first question l asked
him was,
"What is your name?"
"Piggie Hamm," he replied.
"Where do you live" was the next
inquiry.
"Pork Chop Center" he said.
"Where is that?" l came back.
"Hog Island" he informed me.
"Have you ever travelled much?"
/ returned
"Been round little"
"Name me some important city you
have visited"
"Pocomoke City,"
"You have, Ell? Whom do you know
there?"
"All those guys in Chinatown"
"For instance?"
"Look here, what are you after any
how? You amt going to get anything
out of me you oughtn't to know"
That's all right, old boy, just let
that pass" What other people do you
know in Pocomoke?"
"Well l know the editor of the Po-
comoke Bladder"
"That so? What sort of guy is
he?"
"Well, before / answer that ques-
ton, l want to know where you hail
FROM" he said.
Don't mind me, old scout, shoot"
"Well, he's portion each of sauer
kraut, limberger chees, ancient eggs,
and spoiled fish mixed together. If
his body were rolling under the suns
of these last few days, the buzzards
would fly miles higher; old carrion
crow would prefer a dead dog; and
everybody in the neighborhood would
move out, afraid of pestilence and
famine"
ooh! thank you," I said, "your de-
scription is most elevating and accord
ing to what I've heard from some 9TH
er newspapers in the country, it is
absolutely correct. Now changing the
subject, how much do you weight"
"Nine hundred and ninety seven
. pounds, twenty-eight ounces and six
teen drams."
"Well, of course, can easily UNDER
stand about the drains, but aren't you
going a little mild on the pounds and
ounces?"
Maybe so," he said, "but, you see,
we professional show people are very
careful in our announcements not to
fool the public. We'd rather under
estimate than overestimate our at
fractions, so that when they pay us
their money, they'll feel it was not
spent in vain. They will go out with
sweet taste in their mouths, tell their
friends how they were entertained,
and our gate receipts will be so much
the greater"
ooh! I see," replied; $50 you give
them something to put good taste
in their mouths, do you? Now, is that
extra or does that go in with the reg
ular admission fee?"
"Look here" he came at me, don't
get funny. 1 want you to UNDER
stand that we are doing a straight
business here"
"Well, straight stuff is always bet
ter than blend; it certainly does
leave a sweeter taste in the mouth,
and / have no doubt it would swell
your gate receipts. / know l would
come oftener and use my influence
with my friends. Changing the sub
ject once and again, How do you man.
age to carry around all that surplus
tonnage?'
ITO tell the TRUTH" he said, "it
carries me around most of the time
Frequently, / get started and have
to go up to the next corner to turn
around. Sometimes attempt to seat
myself to rest my weary bones and
bring up on Mother Earth, the seat
not having the irresistible force to
meet the immovable body. Some
times / am unable to overcome the
momentum of my bigness and bring
up against a brick wall-a good brick
wall, l mean, and / stay there till a
wrecking machine comes to the res
cue."
Thanks! awfully for your real il
Illuminating remarks. I suppose you
get good money for your service to the
public?"
ooh, I get enough to eat"