davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Bismarck tribune., 1934-12-06
Lyman
By 8. GYLDEN

Miss Tyne Eckholm was an over
night guest of Miss Hilma Olson Sat-
urday.
Miss Mamie Hokana left Tuesday
by bus for Reedling, California, where
she will spend the winter.
Mr.. and Mrs. Walter Pesonen, Mar
tin, William and Marcy, Mr.. and Mrs.
Arne Antilla, Clifford, Betty, Gloria
and Willard, Fred and Erne Eskeli
were dinner guests Thursday at the
Dan Wahlman home near Sterling.
Misses Linda Siirtola and Edna
Elliason, high school students OF
Wing, and Miss Siiri Eckholm OF
Sterling spent the Thanksgiving holi-
days at their respective homes.
Misses saima Pihlaja and Sigrid
Wainio, Capital Commercial college
students Of Bismarck. spent the week.
end with their parents.
Miss Tyne Eckholm IS visiting with
Mr.. and Mrs. Otto Harju and fam
lily OF Bismarck.
Clarence Olson, Henry. Andrew
and Walter Eckholm were callers 81
Gylden's Sunday afternoon.
The Bismarck tribune., 1934-12-06

Mrs. Ed. Dalbec, Mr.. and Mrs. John
Weber, Jr., and Mr.. and Mrs. John
Mueller were callers in Bismarck
Monday. .~ssslA;
Bertrum Olson and Ferne Glanville
of Valley City spent the Thanksgiv-
ing holidays at their homes here.
Mr.. and Mrs. John Mueller motor
ed to Harvey Wednesday to visit their
daughter, who is patient in the hos
pital there.
Helen Harty, who is attending
school in Bismarck, spent last week
at her home here.
Zenith and Shervin Kremenetsky
of Tuttle were visiting in town Fri
day.
The Misses Ailene Rice and Clarice
Hildre spent the weekend visiting in
Minnesota.
The Bismarck tribune., 1934-12-06

MRS. A. r. GHYLN

Mr.. and Mrs. Oliver Whitmer and
family spent Thanksgiving vacation
at Yucca and Center.
Mrs. Anna Strand spent Thanks
giving at Center visiting relatives.
Mr.. and Mrs. B. O. Strand enter
tanned at Thanksgiving dinner Thurs
day Mr.. and Mrs. Harry Davenport,
ALI Johnson, Miss Ruth Wilmot and
Miss Maitrejean.
Gerald Ghylin spent a few days
at the Ole A. Olson home in Wing.
Mr.. and Mrs. B. o. Strand and
son and Einar Strand were Bismarck
business callers Monday.
Mrs. p. E. Patton is spending two
weeks in Wisconsin with her par
ents.
Mr.. and Mrs. Wallace Sherman and
family were dinner guests at the
Fitzgerald home Thursday.
Francis Fitzgerald spent Sunday
visiting her folks. She returned to
Bismarck Sunday evening.
The Bismarck tribune., 1934-12-06
Ecklund
BY ELBIE MURREY

Rev. Father Winring Of Wilton
spent Sunday at the Steve Murrey
home.
Donald Holden was in the st.
Alexius hospital recovering from an
appendix operation.
Thanksgiving guests at the A. E.
Holden home were Mr.. and Mrs. Joe
Warmke, Vince Sherman, Frank and
Ted Murrey and John Paul of Min
nesota.
Paul and Sarah Holden spent Sun
day afternoon at the Steve Murrey
home.
Mr.. and Mrs. John Partyke spent
Thanksgiving at the Steve Murrey
home.
Pauline Splitter. who is employed
in Bismarck, spent Thanksgiving at
the home of her parents. Mr.. and
Mrs. Carl Splitter.
Mr.. and Mrs. Steve Murrey and
daughters. Margaret and Virginia,
motored to Bismarck Friday.
Seth Ecklund was business caller
in Bismarck Wednesday.
John Paul of Minnesota is visiting
at the Joe Warmke home.
The Bismarck tribune., 1934-12-06
Richmond


John and Reinhold Helm were
Capital City shoppers Monday.
MI. and Mrs. Rudolph Engel and
daughter, and Mr.. and Mrs. John
Mueller returned home Tuesday after
visiting friends and relatives at Gar
rison.
Miss Jessie Braden was an over
night guest, at the Adolph Degnel
home Tuesday.
Mr.. and Mrs. Jake Frey and Miss
Elsie Bossert motored to McClusky
Friday where Mrs. Frey had some
dental work done.
Mr.. and Mrs. Gilmen Larson and
family spent Thanksgiving day with
Mr.. and Mrs. Alfred Larson ano
family.
Miss Elizabeth Novy spent the
Thanksgiving holidays at her home
in Schrunk township.
Mr.. and Mrs. Jacob Stroh and son
Paul were Sunday visitors at the
Gottfried BoSSert home.
Mr.. and Mrs. Christ Berg and sor
Samuel motored to Hurdsfield Tues
day to visit Mr.. and Mrs. Fred Neu-
meller and family.
The Bismarck tribune., 1934-12-06

and Mrs. H. r. Dimond and Mr.. and
Mrs. Carl l,etn and family.
Walter Tyberg Of Bismarck was q
Thursday to Sunday guest Of Mr..
and Mrs. A. r. Tourtlotte.
Victoria Voeller and Thelma Han
son, who attend school in Bismarck,
spent the holidays with their respec-
tive parents.
Frances Cox, who teaches school
near Center, N. D., spent the Thanks
giving holiday with her parents, Mr..
and Mrs. L. B. Cox.
Rev. Almond Christensen is spend
ing several days at religious meet
ing at Minot.
A. H. Lundberg left Sunday for
Chicago to attend the international
Livestock show.
The Bismarck tribune., 1934-12-06
Florence Lake
BY Mrs. HY SEILINGER

Mr.. and Mrs. Herman Seilinger en-
tertained at Thanksgiving dinner
Thursday, Mr. and Mrs. Henry Sell
niger and children, Mary Walters
and Ed Smith. Charley Seilinger and
mother, Paul Bennett and Andrew
Meters.
Mr.. and Mrs. Ralph Halver took
their son Stanley back to Bismarck
Sunday night, where he is attending
school.
Ann Eide spent Thanksgiving vaca-
ton at her home in Arena.
Mr.. and Mrs. J. j. Scallon and
family and Mrs. Chas. Johns ana
children were callers In Bismarck
Thanksgiving day.
Mr.. and Mrs. r. G. Halver visited
at the 2. E. Glanville home Saturday.
The Bismarck tribune., 1934-12-06
Baldwin
D MRS. FLORENCE BoRNRR

Mr.. and Mrs.. Peter Barsness and
sons, Palmer and Oswald. and Mr..
and Mrs. Reuben Barsness Of Rose
glen spent the Thanksgiving holidays
visiting with Mr.. and Mrs. Alvin
Nordstrom and family.
Mr.. ana Mrs. Art Fricke and
daughter, Lucille. Mr.. and Mrs. Carl
Landerholm and daughter, Burnette,
and Mr.. and Mrs. Oscar Landerholm
and family were guests ct the Victor
Nelson home Thanksgiving day.
Mr.. and Mrs. Al Erickson and
family Of Bismarck and Mr.. and Mrs.
Ralph Fricke were Thanksgiving
guests at the r. A. Fricke home.
Mr.. and Mrs. Fred Kant were
pleasantly surprised Saturday evening
when q large group Of friends and
relatives gathered at their home, the
occasion being their wedding ami
versary. Dancing was enjoyed with
The Bismarck tribune., 1934-12-06
Sibley Butte


L. B. Roth and family were dinner
guests at the Oliver Roth home
Thanksgiving day.
August Hogue and family were en-
tertained at dinner at the Ted Hogue
home south OF Bismarck Thanksgiv-
ing day.
Leonard Davenport motored to
Bismarck Tuesday.
The following were entertained at
dinner at the Ed. Widger home
Thanksgiving day: Mr.. and Mrs. Art
Lewis Of Mandan, Robert and
Richard George Of Solen. Dick Ash
will Of Bismarck. Mr.. and Mrs. Elmer
Lundquist. Robert Miller, Miss Mary
Garros, Mrs. Lena Lundquist and
Elmer Bloomquist and family.
VIM. Baty and family were dinner
guests at the Earl Evans home
Thanksgiving day.
Mr.. and Mrs. Eddie Schauer and
Mr.. and Mrs. o. j. Roth visited at the
Andrew 9chauer home Sunday.
The Bismarck tribune., 1934-12-06
Wing


Mr.. and Mrs. John Harty and
family were guests at the w. F'ollans-
by home at Hurdsfield Thursday. !.
Mr.. and Mrs. Jake Wacker and
family OF Hazelton were visiting at
the Fred Oswald home Thursday.
Mr.. and Mrs. @. Teppo and family
Of Bismarck were weekend visitors
In town.
Mr.. and Mrs. Ole Olson. sr., Violet
and Oscar Olson. Dee Bailey, Mr.. and
Mrs. Alvin Ghylin. Claire and Gerald,
all Of Garfield, and Burnett Jacob
son were Thanksgiving dinner guests
at the Ole Olson home.
Mrs. Samuel Ward, formerly known
as Doris Scott of Bismarck, spent q
few days visiting relatives in town,
before leaving for her future home
in Kansas City, Missouri.
Mr.. and Mrs. Bill Roth went to
Montana last week to attend the fu-
neral of Mrs. RothS brother.
Mr.. and Mrs. A. FELTON,, Mr.. and
The Bismarck tribune., 1934-12-06
S. w. Burleigh
BY MRS. ALEX STEWART

Miss Freda Becknall spent the
weekend with her mother In Bis
marck.
Bert Buckley and Glen Odor were
business callers In Bismarck Tuesday.
Guests at the Paul Hapel home
Thanksgiving day were Mr.. and Mrs.
Amos Robidou and family, George
Shepherd, and the Smith boys.
Annie Nicholson, Helen Becknall,
Dan MCLEAN and Mrs. Angus Ste
wart were shoppers In Bismarck last
Wednesday.
Guests at the Andrew Irvine home
Thursday were Mr.. and Mrs. VIM.
Mcdonald and family, and Mr.. and
Mrs. Alex Anderson and sons.
The Bismarck tribune., 1934-12-06

Here's Pat o'Oea, Wisconsin
football star Of years ago. all
deeked out az ''chisf Four Leaf
Clover" at the Wisconsin home.
coming game at Madison at which
he was the guest Of honor. The
conferring o. the indian title on
O'Oea. who for years lived IN ob'
scurity under an assumed name.
was but one OF the many attentions
showered upon him. Associates
Press Photo
Red Lodge daily news combined with Carbon County news., 1934-09-12
SCORE IN FOR HUBBY

Young Wife Cooking in the win
dow of a jeweler's)-George I'd love
that bracelet.
The Husband can't afford to
buy 1t for you, dear.
"But If you could, you would,
wouldn't you?"
I'm afraid not"
"Why?"
at isn't good enough, dear"
"Oh, you darling"
Red Lodge daily news combined with Carbon County news., 1934-09-12
Feminine Betterment

"Do you believe women have made
politics better?"
"Yes," answered Miss Cayenne.
"They have succeeded in calling at
tention to the fact that there are mo-
ments in humble life when the cook
book and the grocery bill are almost
as important as the Declaration of
Observation-Disclosures Star.
Red Lodge daily news combined with Carbon County news., 1934-09-12
LIKE SOME VOTERS

what is your idea Of disinterest-
ed patrlotism?"
"A brass band" answered Senator
Sorghum. 1T will play with equal
enthusiasm for any kind OF a polit-
ical procession that manages to get
the right of way"
Red Lodge daily news combined with Carbon County news., 1934-09-12
Third Ingredient

Prot. Albert Einstein gave recent
ly what he considered the best for
mula for success in life. / should
say the formula is u equals K plus y
plus z, x being work and y being
play"
"And what is "" inquired the in
terviewer.
THAT he answered, "ls keeping
your mouth shut"
Red Lodge daily news combined with Carbon County news., 1934-09-12
Left Him Pondering

as that an eight-day clock?"
asked the young man who never
seemed to know when to go.
"Well," said the girl, sitting her
tenth yawn, "why don't you stay q
little longer and find out?"
Red Lodge daily news combined with Carbon County news., 1934-09-12

"A man must be a student all his
days to hold a position like yours"
remarked the admiring constituent.
THAT is very true" answered Sena-
tor Sorghum, land, like a student l
get so weary OF hard lessons that /
am going to organize a movement to
include a sports page In the Con
gressional Record" - Washington
Star.
Red Lodge daily news combined with Carbon County news., 1934-09-12

Housewife Ito subscription sales
man)-No, we don't want no nsaga-
zines. W don't want no nothfH'.
Salesman-How about q cheap
grammar?
Red Lodge daily news combined with Carbon County news., 1934-09-12

THAT fellow Is highly educated.
He must be smart"
"Oh, he may be-" responded the
man In the street. But he worries
over things thar i never heard off,
Louisville Courier-JournaL.
Red Lodge daily news combined with Carbon County news., 1934-09-12

i've got a new idea Fortune In
It."
"Whar nowr'
Its an alarm clock that emits the
delicious odors Of frying bacon s@d
fragrant coffee. Boston Transcript
Red Lodge daily news combined with Carbon County news., 1934-09-12
UnutterabIe Emotion

"Now, then, what should a polite
little boy say to a lady whe has
given him a cent for carrying her
grip?"
I'm too polite to say 1t, madam"
boston Transcript.
Red Lodge daily news combined with Carbon County news., 1934-09-12

"Your daughter is very modern,
isn't she?" remarked the visitor.
"Yes," sighed the mother; II have
reached the point now where I doubt
IL / could even be shocked by a live
wire, no matter what the voltage
was"
Red Lodge daily news combined with Carbon County news., 1934-09-12
Too Much 10 Expect

Wife-Will you love me II / get
fat?
Husband-No. l promised for bet
ter or worse-not thick or thin
London Answers.
Red Lodge daily news combined with Carbon County news., 1934-09-12
Why Not?

Wihe-I can't afford an operation
now.
Hubby-No, you'n just have to
talk about the old one for another
year.
Red Lodge daily news combined with Carbon County news., 1934-09-12

Film Star newly marrieO-And
Is this your home?
Underground is, precious.
SAY, 1t looks nightly familiar.
Are you sure / haven't married you
before T'-London Tit-Bits.
Red Lodge daily news combined with Carbon County news., 1934-09-12

Uncle-My boy, you must never
bite the hand that feeds you
Boston Boy-Certainly not, uncle.
1t would be a hazardous undertake
ing. The hand is almost certain to
be covered with deadly bacteria.
Red Lodge daily news combined with Carbon County news., 1934-09-12

She-What sort Of house shall we
move TOT
Husband-Let's try a bungalow,
dear,-then you won't always be hear
ing burglars moving about down
stairs.-LondOn Answers.
Red Lodge daily news combined with Carbon County news., 1934-09-12
Sarcastic

II try to be always in accord with
nature"
$50 / observe. When nature doffs
her garb in the fall, you begin to put
more on."-Boston Transcript.
Red Lodge daily news combined with Carbon County news., 1934-09-12

"Your grandfather seems 30 be a
little hard Of hearing"
"A littlel Why, once he condnct-
ed family prayers kneeling ON the
cat"
Red Lodge daily news combined with Carbon County news., 1934-09-12

Affable Friend-You are NOT book
Ing too bright today.
The Other-No, l mustn't You
see, the doctor has ordered my wife
away and If / look pleased she won't
go.
Red Lodge daily news combined with Carbon County news., 1934-09-12

Mistress-Nora, you've left finger
prints on nearly every plate.
Maid-Well, 1t shows l amt got a
guilty conscience, anyway.
Red Lodge daily news combined with Carbon County news., 1934-09-12
Sonnv,a Error

Plumber-Tve come to fix the old
tub in the kitchen.
Son-Mamma. here's the doctor to
zee the cook.
Red Lodge daily news combined with Carbon County news., 1934-09-12

"Are you fond of Shakespeare's
works, Gus?"
"Works! Nav. I prefer his
plays!"
Red Lodge daily news combined with Carbon County news., 1934-09-12

The fair motorists car had broken
down and a farmer offered the serv-
ices of his horse.
THANK you so much" she replied,
but you need fourteen more-my
car has fifteen horse power, you
know"
Red Lodge daily news combined with Carbon County news., 1934-09-12

Sunday School Teacher-why was
it that David said he would rather
be a ~doorkeeper In the house of the
Lord?
Bright Boy-So he could 60 out-
side If he didn't like the Sermon
Pathfinder Magazine.
Imperial Valley press., 1934-06-02
BLACK TAKES
HITTING LEAD

Night ball averages as compiled
by "Shorty" Steinwinder. official
scorer for the league, at the end
of the sixth week of play are as
follows:
Leading batters: Black, 500; T.
Ehmke, .48O; Price. .476; R. For
shey, AT; Hurst, .375; B. Stewart,
1888; j. Ehmke, 1888; Young. .3l6;
Willingham, 294 Holcomb, .280;
Hardin, .280.
Team batting: Coca Colas, .272;
Studebakers. pit; Fat Boys .2l2;
Cramers, .210; Cox Brothers, POP;
Golden State, .141.
Team fielding: Studebakers, .970;
Golden State, .966; Coca Colas,
$50; Fat Boys, .943; Cramers, .935;
Cox Brothers, 1923.
Department leaders: Home runs
T Ehmke. Holcomb, a; triples: T.
Ehmke, Black, Q; doubles: B. Stew
art Hardin, 5; most hits: T. Ehmke,
IL; runs scored: r. Forshey, T.
Ehmke, Holcomb, 9; runs driven
in: T. Ehmke, IA; bases on balls,
Beechey, 8; most putouts, B. Stew
art. 81; most assists, Wakefield, 20;
most errors, White, S.
Imperial Valley press., 1934-06-02
DEAN BROTHERS. STRIKE GETS
RESULTSFROM CARDINAL TEAM

reports of low salaries paid st.
Louis players circulated about the
dressing rooms of other clubs. The
impression developed, as impress
sions will, that the Cards were
comparatively the cheapest bunch
OF hired hands ir the Majors. So
some baseball wit called them
"Coolie help"
Dizzy and Paul Dean, a couple
OF ambitious right handed brothers
from Arkansas did not object to
the appellation at first. Dizzy was
receiving the modest stipendium
of $500 and Paul the even more
modest sum of $4,000. The Dean
brothers were getting their pork
and beans and all was we'll until
the Cards started going places.
One morning the brothers Dean
arose and read in the papers that
the Cards were leading the league
!, and that some baseball writer
| figured out how the Deans were
largely responsible for the advance,
the writing feller even pointed out
that Rookie Paul from the Colum-
bus club had the best record of any
finger in the National circuit with
five straight wins and that Jerome
Hammer had won six and lost two.
Together. they figured on their
abacus, they had won II.
frankie promised to increase
Paul's emolument $4,000, accord
ing to Dizzy. frankie promised
and promised, but nothing hap
pened So yesterday at Pittsburgh
Dizzy made an issue of the matter.
He and his brother went on
| strike.
| After the Cards lost to the Pr
ates, 4 to 3, frankie announced
that the strike had been settled
and that Dizzy would pitch to-
day against the Pirates. He made
no mention of the terms, but Paul
probably will read that between
the lines on his check.
Imperial Valley press., 1934-06-02
COAST LEAGUE

Yesterdays Results
Los Angeles 8. Hollywood 0.
Portland 9, Oakland 2.
Sacramento II, Seattle 5.
Imperial Valley press., 1934-06-02
SWARM
OVER SC|OTS

The Elks call of victory was heard
ringing out over the valley last
night following their victory over
the Sciots on Wilson field and this
morning members of the antlered
herd were noticed going about
their business with a calculating
look in their eyes seeking new vic
tins.
Two straight is a pretty good
record but like Alexander it ap-
pears the victors must sigh and be-
moan their fate because there are
no more worlds to conquer.
From all accounts it was swell
game thoroughly enjoyed by play
ers and spectators alike and settles
at least temporarily the superiority
of the Elks nightball team in local
fraternal circles.
The game was marked by a plen-
itude of home runs, four being
made by each team. For the Elks,
Clay, Smyer, Keye and Nuffer were
the Babe Ruths of the evening
while Doc Hurst, Riddle, Jensen
and Doc Palmer swatted the agate
for circuit clouts.
Sciot players: Griffin and Hurst,
p; Powers, C; Jensen. 1b; Doc
Palmer, 2b; Davis, SIS Devote, 3b;
Riddle, If; Keeble, C; Schwarts. rf.
Elks lineup: Nuffer, Mousseau,
Richmond, Law. p; Keye and Cairn,
c.; Scriven, 1b; Office, 2b; Smyer,
SIS; McClelland, 3b; Clay, IF; Doc
Brooks, C; Ted Reynolds, If
The score? Elks, 18, Sciots, u.
Imperial Valley press., 1934-06-02
BEST BOUTS in LENGTHY PERIOD
PLEASE CROWD OF BOXING FANS

absence of clinching or stalling and
had the fans on the edge of their
seats throughout.
The four round special between
Reno Fernandez of Brawley and
Willie Collins. Los Angeles Negro.
was WOW with Collins getting the
decision. The boys started in at
the first bell and stayed with each
other throughout Slugging in the
center of the ring. biff, bang. and
plenty of action.
Collins was the aggresSor during
the first two rounds but in the
third stanza Reno opened up and
the bows had a lively session dur
ing which they tried to knock each
together's head off. The last round
was continuation of the third but
Fernandez had started too late to
overcome the lead the Los Angeles
boy had piled up and when Collins
started campaign OF his own in
the final canto he won the deci-
sion.
Mike Villareal took the decision
over Young Chocolate, another Los
Angeles Negro. in one sweet preli-
minary. 1t was a fast siugging
match in which Mike showed more
consistent willingness to throw
leather. The scrappers kept at
each other without a stop during
their time in the ring and many
fan was hoarse from cheering on
his fayorite during the bout.
A good crowd witnessed the
fights.
Imperial Valley press., 1934-06-02
TROJANS SET
NEW RECORD.

LOS ANGELES, June 2. UP)-A
quartet of University of Southern
California runners laid claim to a
new worlds record in the half
mile relay today.
The four man team composed of
Foy Draper. Al Fitch, James Alb
bott and Charley Parsons spun the
two laps in l:248 last night to win
the event in the annual Southern
Pacific A. A. U. meet at Memorial
coliseum. The old record of 1888
also was held by a Trojan team
composed of Willie Lewis, Herschel
Smith, Ed House and Charley
Borah, who established it in 1927.
Two meet records were scrapped
and two were tied. Ross Bush,
Trojan Freshman, set a new mark
in the 800 meters by nosing out
Capt. Jimmy Miller of U. c. L. A.
in 1888. A second fell into the
discard when George Anderson,
University of California freshman,
romped home in the 200 meter
dash in the fine time of oil. Not
content with this performance,
Anderson beat out Frank Wykoff,
former Trojan flash, in the 100
meter event and tied Wykoff S old
record of 104.
Wykoff was hopelessly outclassed
in this sprint, finishing fifth. An
derson was trailed across the home
line by Draper of Southern Cali
fornia. Pollock of Riverside Junior
college, and Reel of Occidental in
that order.
Wykoff helped spur Southern
California runners on to the new
world mark in the half-mile relay. |
Wykoff was teamed with Talley. !
Pollock. and Anderson, forming an
entry.
Johnny Mccarthy added to |
Troy's glory by tying the meet /.
record for the 400-meter run. Nc !
Carthy spanned the course in 48 I
seconds flat.
Bill Graber, former Southern |
California ace vaulter, tied with !
Bill Seton in the pole vault with /.
a jump o. IA feet but won the ,
jumpoff.
Imperial Valley press., 1934-06-02
rDDANS
SPCRTAPARADE
MA&HbmD
BY HENRY McLEMORE

United Press Staff Correspondent
HENLEY THAMES, England,
June al punted on The Thames
today, but don't be Jealous. All
you we got to do to gain the same
effect is fill the bathtub to the top,
climb in with your clothes on and,
while sitting snugly on the bot
tom, take a broom or mop handle
and try and push the tub out into
the hall.
know you think I'm eXagger-
ating because, like myself, your
idea of punting was gained from
some moving pictures In the NOV
les, punting is most elegant The
heroine, a picture Of loneliness in
dotted Swiss jumper, languidly re-
clinas on the bottom OF the punt,
while the hero, in spotless flannels,
guides the punt, now beneath cool,
graceful willows, now through a
covey of swans only recently re-
turned from the dry cleaners.
In the movies the punt is a beau
tiful, shining thing, that glides
along with only an occasional push
from the hero. But the one l had
today looked like something re-
tired from the West Indies cocoa
nut and hemp trade, and the COM
bined efforts Of all the Harvard
varsity oarsmen from 1900 on
couldn't It have moved it knot a
day.
1t had leak in it, too, and as
punts have no seats other than the
floor. I was treading water five
minutes after leaving the dock.
I'd like to see anybody's sweet
heart be languid in the punt I had.
To accomplish that they'd either
have to have a mermaid somewhere
in their family line, or wear div
ing bell.
Moving a punt is something to be
reckoned with, too. You don't get
any oars. Simply tremendously
heavy pole like the ones tiRht-rope
walkers Use to balance themsel"eT
with. Correct punting technique
calls for the gentleman to stand in
the stern and jab the pole down
to the bottom, thus driving the
craft along. Several things con-
spire to make this little short OF
impossible. In the first place, the
average man can't WELD a tele-
phone pole. In the second, the
bottom is so sticky that once the
pole is poked into it, there are but
two alternatives for the punter-
he can either jump out of the boat
and take a stance on the pole after
the manner of pelican on a buoy.
or let the pole go and run the risk
of drifting into the open sea.
It is impossible to enjoy the seem
cry. If you sight swan you do
not see it as a graceful, proud bird,
butsimply mobile -preserver to
be snatched at in case of emergen-
cy. And those graceful, dropping
willows that the movie lovers idle
beneath, become simply natural
lighthouses that denote the pres
ence of land.
Legend has it that punts are
ideal for courting ones betrothed.
That IS pure legend. The only thing
ore courts in a punt is disaster.
I'd Just as lief make love in a
Kansas twister or Sicilian earth
quake.