davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1934-01-04

telephone that guy that you
made a horrible mistake, and
tell him what the right word is.
This all reflects on me, you
know"
I tried to argue that the next
day would be time enough, but
my SubconsciouS would stand
for no dilly-dallying; so I woke
up and did the handsome thing.
The fact that it was 3 in the
morning made my retraction a
little less impressive than 1t
might have been in the daylight,
but, at any rate, I squared my
self with my Subconscious. This
sort of thing could get to be a
nuisance in time, I am afraid
at any rate, to my friends.
The trouble is that it has now
reached a point where I don't
know whether my Subconscious
or T am on the job. If I hap
pen to be reading in bed and
doze off in the middle of
paragraph, my SubconScious fin
lsheS the paragraph on its own
hook, sometimes in a rather
fancy fashion. Then I come to
and go on reading, and have a
little difficulty in tying up the
two versions, the written one
and by SubconScious's.
The worst of it is that my
SubconSciouS's version m k e S
just enough sense for me to be-
lieVe that I have actually read
it, and makes me liable to as
sert the next day that I saw
in Time" where Ambassador
Bullitt had blow up the remlin.
This is bad for Thine" Ambas-
Sador Bullitt and me, especially
for me, as I cannot find the
paragraph to prove it.
However, on the whole, my
SubconSciouS makes a much
better job of things than do,
and a little flightiness in cur
rent events shouldn't be held
against it. If I could somehow
manage to get my Subconscious
at the controls during the day
time and take over the reinS
myself when I am asleep, I am
sure there wouldn't be all this
criticism.
Copyright 1884 King Features
Syndicate. Incl
The Washington times., 1934-01-04

OAAO'
These Good Resolutions we
make every New Year day
we wonder why they are al
ways broken.
THEY'RE BROKEN Be
CAUSE YOU CAN NEVER BE
SOMETHING B EFT Err BY
JUST RESOLVING TO BE.
You can't stop nagging by
just making up your mind that
you will.
You can't stop drinking by
vowing you'll do so.
You can't stop fibbing, vast
ing your time, spending too
much money, flying into tan
trums, gossiping, being sorry
for yourself, jealous, lazy or
super-Sensitive-or indulging in
any other childish or savage
IMPULSE by wanting to
to stop and saying that you
will.
YOU MUST, FIRST, CLEAR
UP THE TROUBLE THAT IS
CAUSING THE BAD HABIT.
AND THEN YOU MUST
SUBSTITUTE A NEW GOOD
HABIT FOR THE OLD BAD
HABIT.
Why? Figure it out for your
self.
You, for example, have be-
come a nagger, Ellen. Folks
think it's because you're bad
tempered, but you and I know
that isn't the reason. You've
become a nagger because you're
tired, lonely. deeply unhappy.
Somehow, life which once was
so full and sweet has become
empty. The world you once
loved has become a meaning
less monotonouS drudgery.
Tnree's no adventure left. Day
after day you see the same old
faces, discuss the same old
troubles, think the same old
thoughts. Soul and mind and
boy, you've gone stale.
Can you cure that condition
by resolving never to nag
again?
OF course you can'tl You
can only cure the nagging by
removing the condition that
The Washington times., 1934-01-04

It was the great Daniel Web
ster who told us, Murder will
out" and the amazing truth
Of it is demonstrated, after
four and half centuries, IN
one of the most dramatic Incl
dents of many years.
There was once a King OF
England named Richard the
Third, who mounted on bloody
feet the throne Of William the
Conqueror and grasped the
scepter with crimsoned hands.
Shakespeare, as we'll as history,
tells the story of this cruel and
ruthless man.
Time and Fate
To gain the throne he i'm
prisoned in the grim Tower Of
London a boy king, Edward the
Fifth, and a boy Prince, the
Duke of York. When mistreat-
ment and probably slow poison
had failed to remove the help
less children from his path,
he had them slain in their cells.
Being a king of absolute power,
the guilt was never fixed upon
him in those distant days.
And now, listen to this, If
you please, and note how
strangely time and fate catch
up, even with dead kings.
Workmen repairing a stair
case in the Tower of London
away back in 1914 came upon
the skeletons of two young
boys. The finding was re-
ported to that Stuart king who
never said a foolish thing and
never did a wise one, Charles
the Second. He suspected the
identity of those poor relics
and ordered them placed in an
urn in Westminster Abbey.
A short time ago, in order
to clear the name and fame
of King Henry the Seventh an
inquest was formally ordered
over the urn of Westminster.
A dramatic scene, if ever there
was one. The Dean of West
minister was there, and the
President of the Royal College
of Physicians and Surgeons
also-other physicians and sur
geons and high government
officials.
They approached the case
and task precisely as if the
murders had taken place yes
terday and presented a living
and current case for Scotland
Yard. Accurately, by the i'm
mutable processes Of science,
they fixed the fact of murder
and fixed the age of the two
young boys, the boy king and
the boy prince, and proved that
they could not have been
killed by King Henry, and
The Washington times., 1934-01-04
Vote for Repeal
Of Our Other "Prohibition" Law


Having rid itself of the great burdens under
which labored-the prohibition lawthe United
should proceed rid itself of the other-the income tax
law.
The two laws much the
The prohibition built up bureaucracy oppres and
outrage the citizen.
So does the income tax law.
The prohibition law bred contempt for government and
hatred of its edcts
So does the income tax law.
The prohibition law helped the crook and the racketeer
and penalized the average decent citizen.
So does the income tax law.
The prohibition law promoted dishonesty and hypocrisy
So does the income tax law.
The prohibition led to burdensome taxation and bur
densme taxation leads straight revolution carried far
enough
The income tax law IS burdensome taxation.
It may lead to revolution but it leading straight to
RU1NATIoN-runation of the honest individual who must
pay it, and of the honest business big or little which must
pay it.
The individual spend money at the stores he has
TO give it to the Government
Business cannot continue in business its income goes
the Government
In te perhaps even the will recognize this
the United States Treasury Department. which col
lects the income tax seems the verge Of recognizing
Secretary the Treasury Mogenhau said the other day
"The income tax should properly take Reasonable
toll from the business transactions OF the community
Il should stop the traffic entirely"
In these words may be the beginning OF understanding
As matter of cold fact however the toll taken NOW is
absolutely unreasonable.
is rn1a unreasonable because while assessments
being increased rapidly the from them de-
Creasing MORE rapidly.
This but thing The tax is being carried to such
extremes that it is drying up the source.
When the is dried there be no income and
without income there can be recovery
The obvious substitute for the income taxthe General
Manufacturers Tax-has yet been adopted in this
country.
It does NOT hamper business It does NOT burden the in
dvidual does NOT lead to bureaucratic oppression It
does NOT put premium dishonesty and corruption 1t
does lead isrespe for and law does
NOT penaze the average does NOT favor the big
The United States took thirteen years to wipe out prohb
Non and substitute temperance
How long will it take wipe out the income tax and sub
Stitute the sales tax?
the same.
We are rid of one. Why keep the other?
The Washington times., 1934-01-04
Senate Aid Needed to Free
i. S. From French Trap
Bu James T. Williams, T.

the League of Nations. the arm
aments of every nation is to be
found in the instructions which
President Coolidge gave.
through his Secretary of State.
to the delegation which he sent
in 1927 to the preparatory con-
ference at Geneva:
This delegation, of which
Admiral Hilary P. Jones, the
Navy's able, far-seeing and pa.
triotic statesman, was the chair
man, was instructed by Mr..
Coolidge in these words:
"In case the question shall
arise, you should make it clear
that the United States would
not agree to place the super
Uision of it's Grnaments or the
carrying out of any program
for the limitation of its ormo-
nnents in the hands of the
League of Nations or any other
international body.
"The execution of any inter
national agreement for the linn
itation of GrmGments must de.
pend, in so far as the United
States is concerned, upon in
irrational good faith and re-
spect for treaties.
'Ths United States wiH not
tolerate the supervision of any
outside body in this matter nor
be subject to inspection or
suPeTVisiOn of foreign agencies
or indiOiduGls."
American Position
The Coolidge delegation car
ried out Mr.. Coolidge's irstruc'
tions and successfully opposed
the attempt of France and her
allies to use the League Of
Nations as a "peeping-tom"
upon the national defense Sys-
tenn of the United States. To
all European proposals for in
ternational supervision of our
ornaments. the Coolidge dele
cation replied that while this
country would not object to
such Sn agreement as between
other nations, it would not be
a party to any such agreement
in so far as the United States
was concerned.
This American position was
abandoned by the Hoover ad.
ministration. It supinely sur
rendered to the French demand
for League supervision of our
national defense system. This
puSillanimous commitment ha'
thus far been acquiesced in by
the Roosevelt administration.
If the Committee on Foreign
Relations will promptly put the
Administration on notice that
the American position in this
matter taken by President
Coolidge is still the American
position so far as the Senate
is concerned, the Roosevelt
administration will be rescued
from the trap set by France
into which the American Gov.
eminent fell under the Hoover
administration.
Copyright. 1894. The washinEtoa
Times)
The Washington times., 1934-01-04
Speeding Doesn't Pay
Anywhere and Especially in Russia

anywhere and Especially IN Russia
In Russia where they believe in direct action has
ust sentenced chauffeur to death for driving into column
Of soldiers and killing four
He will be shot encourage other chauffeurs to drive
carefully. You imagine that they will.
We don't advocate the death penalty in America for rec
less driving but perhaps diluted dose of Russian medicine
for peeders and roadhog would have sautay effect
When these gentry kill somebody they frequently do
II may not be murder but it is certainly mansaugher and
should be treated SUCH
In fact don't but that it deserves be ranked
as murder.
The reckless driver by his habitual caressness has
fenced other motorist pedestrian to death
The fact that he does when he is going
execute the sentence makes little difference.
He executes it SOONER OR LATER, and the victim is
quite dead if there had been deliberate and cold
blooded plot to carry out the crime
The Washington times., 1934-01-04

Unless the United States Sen
ate comes quickly to its res
cue, the Roosevelt Administra-
ton may find some difficulty
in extricating the American
Government from a trap into
which it fell under the Hoover
Administration.
This trap was set by France
for the purpose of enabling the
French government to prevent
the re-arming of Germany and
to control the armamentS Of
other countries.
Instead of being content to
rely upon the provisions of
the Treaty Of Versailles to
bring about general reduction
and Limitation of armaments,
France has insisted that the
League Of Nations should be
given power to set up it's own
machinery for the supervision,
control and regulation of the
manufacture of arms and i'm
plements of war throughout
the world.
France Controls
Under the French plan for
international supervision Of
ornaments, the League Of Ma
tionS which France now con-
trolls would have the power to
limit the manufacture of arms
and other war implements to
government factories.
This would be fine for those
European and Asiatic govern
ments which have invested thou
sands Of millions of dollars in
government plants for the man.
ufacture Of arms and imple-
mentS of war. They would have
a great advantage over those
governments which do not go in
for gigantic expenditures for
this purpose but rely largely
upon private manufacturers to
supply arms and implements Of
war when the emergency arises.
When this French proposal
was pressed under the presi-
dency of Calvin Coolidge in
1924, his Secretary of War gave
a clear and convincing argu-
ment against American accept
ance of such a plan. His argu-
ment was to this effect:
AT present the United States
maintains an extremely small
and weGk military force, our
UGr reserUes are entirely in
adequate TO meet Wdr require
nents under the general mObil-
izGtion plan, and Ws possess
no large GOOernnrent-oWnsd
manufacturing GrsenGls. F We
should be solely dependent
upon neWly constructed COM
ner 'Gl plants in the event of
national emergency, it WOuld
require from IL to "a months
before the rate of production
Would approximate our WGT-
time requirements. The other
great pOWeTs are in a to-
tally different situation.
But an even more impressive
argument against the French
scheme for supervising, through
The Washington times., 1934-01-04
LISTEN, WORLD
By Elsie Robinson

} causes it-giving yourself Q new
and better break.
Meaning what? Meaning new
interests, new thoughts, new
ambitions and adventures.
But how can I have any
thing new?" you say bitterly.
"We're so poor. There isn't
money enough to go around as
is it. You don't know"
Yes, 1 do know, Ellen. 7
know what it means to be so
poor that the finding of nickle
on a safety zone sent me into
a shameful torrent of tears; so
poor that I wanted to batter
down the window of the Five
and Ten, to steal handful OF
glittering bubbles so my little
boy could have a Christmas tree
like other children.
The hopelessness Of it, the
bitterness of it, made. me a
nagger too, Ellen. But I cured
it. How? Not with money. I
cured it by papering a room!
I'd never papered a room.
But the dinginess of the shabby
walls was driving me mad. The
man at the corner store was
throwing some old paper away.
Did I want a few rolls. I didn't
but I took them. And they
changed the world for me.
For that cheap paper, laid In
bungling rows, took my mind
off myself-gave me a new ad-
venture-made a new broom"
that swept my blues away.
No matter how poor we are,
there's always a new broom
always a new interest-even II
it only be friendly hand to
someone's who's poorer than
ourselves. Always some adVen-
ture to flood stale brain and
stagnant heart with fresh' Wig
orous life.
Don't just make good reso-
lutions. Get yourself a new
broom-some hobby, some in
terest, some crusade-that will
sweep you out of the old life
into the new. Then you won't
have to worry about keeping
that good resolution. Youu
keep it in spite of yourself.
:You'Il be too interested to do
anything else.
(copyright, 1884, by King Features
Syndicate, Inc.)
The Washington times., 1934-01-04

but that does
MT matter
for in those
t W o Ii e S
t h e re is
enough phil
osophy to last
a whole year
through.
G e t your
self a n e W
br 90 m-for
you'll never
b e a b lie to
sweep away
your blues, or
your badness,
with the old
The Washington times., 1934-01-04

One Of the many reasons for
my suspecting that I am headed
for the last breakup is that
my Subconscious is getting to
be a better man than am.
In fact, I am thinking Of re-
signing and letting my Subcon-
scious take over the business.
I go through the day, in my
bungling way, making mistakes,
forgetting names, going north
when I mean to go south, and,
in general, messing things up
pretty thoroughly. I can get
affidavits to this effect from
500 disinterested observers. My
average of direct hits is getting
smaller and smaller each day
and I am afraid that, before
long, I shall have to hire some
body to go about with me just
to keep me from hurting my
self on sharp corners.
But, once I get to sleep and
my little old Subconsclous gets
The Washington times., 1934-01-04

"Get Yourself a New Broom
and Sweep the Blues Away"
What's that new song they're
singing-"Get Yourself a New
Broom and Swept the Blues
Away"
Don't know the rest of it
The Washington times., 1934-01-04
MY SUBCONSCIOUS
BY Robert Benchley

'onion,'" it said to me. GROSSLY.
"You know as we'll as I do that
1t Is 'zwiabel and not 'zweibel.'
Now, you wake right up and
The Washington times., 1934-01-04
WISE WORDS

Without constancy there Is
neither love, friendship, nor
virtue in the world.
Speak little and we'll, If you
wish to be considered as pos
Sessing merit.
A rotten cause abides no han
dling-Shakespeare.
A Christian is the highest
style of man.-Young.
Call not that man wretched,
who whatever ills he suggests,
has a child to love.-Southey.
Whilst thou livest keep .
good tongue In thy head.
-ShakeSpeAEA
The times-news. [volume] (Hendersonville, N.C.) 1927-current, 1934-03-09
FUN IN THINKING

The other day a musical refrain
running through my mind brought
up the smiling, honest face of
young man whom | met Is years
ago. For awhile l could not re-
member the name of the tune or
of the young man. But after
searching my mind pers;stently.
recalled the names of both. The
tune, l had heard for the first
time about ten years since last
saw that young man. Why then,
had the air called up his face in
my memory? Here is why, and the
explanation brings out an inter-
esting point in the study of associ-
alton. In the words accompanying
that tune which | first heard about
1926, is the phrase, "on Flatbush
avenue" Eighteen years ago when
I met the smiling, honest faced
young man, l incidentally asked
him where he lived and he said,
SIN Flatbush, in Brooklyn"
Do you ever get to thinking of
something, then have that thing
suggest something else and the
something else suggest another
thing until suddenly you are thou
sands Of miles, and perhaps thou
sands Of years away from what
ever started you on your train of
thought and you ask yourself:
Glow did l get here" You of
course, have had that experience.
But can you retrace your thought
steps? Can you go backwards
thought by thought to the point
from which your mediations start
ed? Try to do it. Some persons
can, but most persons can not.
There is lot of fun in thinking,
once you get the habit and learn
how.
The times-news. [volume] (Hendersonville, N.C.) 1927-current, 1934-03-09

that in effect he is proposing government by news
papers, To assign to the press the motor powers
of good government is to place the cart before the
horse. Newspapermen know that newspapers nave
no power to govern and should have none
Newspapers should no more dictate to government
than government should dictate to newspapers.
"Newspapemen as citizens as public officials, OF
members of political parties have of course the
same rights and duties as have other citizens
"But the proper function of the press is TO dis
cover and print the facts, to show how the facts
affect the lives of citizens, to discuss, anayze and
interpret the facts and to encourage all move
ments for better government. That is the job OF
the newspapers
eff they go further and attempt to become I'M
official arms of government, they are likely to de-
stroy their real usefulness to the people as whole
by becoming mouth-pieces and accompIlces OF spe-
cial groups and special interests.
sNow as never before must it be emphasized IN
this country that the people themselves are the
only possible funtain head of better government
The Hickory Record"
The times-news. [volume] (Hendersonville, N.C.) 1927-current, 1934-03-09
FIGHTING THE NEWsBoYS

PERHAPS the most unfortunate thing in cOnnec-
ton with the NRA hearing and conference u
Washington was the opportunity it offered for peo
ple with some sort of fad or an axe to grind, oy
with prejudices on some particular subject, 10
make accusations and charges on matters of which
thew lack practical knowledge, or judgment, Or
perhaps both.
Probably one of the most ill-advised efforts
along this line has been the attempt of certain
faddists in the matter of child labor to deprive
million American newsboys of the opportunity OF
their time honored profession.
The effort to link the activities of these news
bovs with the sort of child labor which is to be
deprecated and which probably is so nearly ex-
tinct in America as to make the present agitation
mere ioust with windmill, is so ridiculous and
foolish sc TO merit little attention if it not for
the very apparent danger that certain otfce-hold-
CPS IN places of authority and responsibility who
onobt to know better will take lot OF this bunk
seriously. ...
The onportunitv offered the newsboys to earn
little money bv the sale and delivery of news
,orors s co little related to actual "child labor"
that the charges of Miss Sherwin and others are
not merely puerile but contemplate, and fairly on
mar with most of the misleading statements by
which the so-called child labor constitutional
amendment has been carried far along the way
No one likes to be put in the position OF APP
bearing to favor the exploitation of child labor
And so the effort seems to be to make II appear
that those who oppose the amendment and who
think the newsboy should have his chance, 1aV0r
the grinding down of childhood in painful and en-
ervating toil-than which nothing could be farther
from the truth. ...
Peddling newspapers is traditional activity OIL
bows, small and large; but as for being enid Ia
bor," the idea is bunk pure and simple
1t is in fact fight against the newsboys more
than against the newspapers, although intended to
hit the latter-Rock Hill Is. c. Herald
The times-news. [volume] (Hendersonville, N.C.) 1927-current, 1934-03-09
FASCISM PRESENTS US WITH
ANOTHER LAUGH
"BE COURTEOUS" Il Pet.
lRY RRUCE CATION

If YOU feel that something drastic ought
to be done about saving the republic, and
if YOU also like to wear nice uniforms and
shaye.sa feeling for vague superintendent
then YOU surely will want to know about
the Silver Shirts.
This seems to be a Fascist sort OF outht
now being organized in the middlewest.
It's leader is a man who says that ne
once died and then returned to earth, en-
lowed with supernatural powers. As a
resuH,>it seems, he possesses psychic an
tennae," with which he is able to perform
such prodigies as make forecasts accord
ing to the dates which are inscribed in
stone on the great pyramid of Gizeh.
It should be added, perhaps, that the
gentleman once was employed as a seen
ario writer in Hollywood.
s;Some time between now and 1886, the
Silver Shirts plan to seize the reins OF gov
eminent in the United States. They are
opposed violently to all Jews, asserting
that the Jews control both international
finance and the U. S. administration.
You can join this ineffable outfit for
SO. which brings you neat uniform con-
sisting of campaign hat, silver shirt, blue
corduroy pants, leggings and tie. Presum-
ably, also, you are put in touch with the
leaders mystic revelations from beyono
the void.
Now all this-which must be taken Sc
,.;anSIv nv at least enough people to give
the leader a living-really represents
lucky break for America.
The contagion of Fascism, which atthctS
European countries very badly at this writ
ing. seems to break out in this country only
in symptoms which are laughable.
Some months ago there was the fiascc
of the Khaki Shirts at Philadelphia. Now
there is this Woody business of the Silver
Shirts; and the result is a sort of reductic
ad abstrdum of the whole idea of Fascism
,It,is being presented to us, not as 8
movement which can enlist the sympathie$
of determined men, but as a supremacy
dizzy alteration at which we only can
chuckle.
That, to repeat, is lucky break. Once
let an, idea get humorous association III
the minds of the American people and
they never will take it seriously.
If we are being introduced to Fascisn1
iR-.itSlmost ludicrous guise, there is small
chance that we ever shall commit the blum
der of falling for it.