The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1934-03-09


EVERYBODY knows we are all
IL equal; it is in the Constitution,
which nobody doubts or fails to honor.
AT the speakers table in my home
town in Kansas l recently followed
Henry ]. Allen, formerly governor and
United States senator; well-known
poor boy who worked his way through
university, and into the best home
and newspaper office In Wichita.
The party was given by my neigh
bors and friends to note that fifty-six
years before I had arrived among
them. There were flowers, an orches-
ira of forty, Swiss yodelers, distin-
guished guests from out of town; po-
licemen out in front handling traffic,
messenger boys bringing in kilograms
Remember it was my party, not Hen
RVS!
Yet Henry Allen made the best
speech I ever heard in my life, and |
made the poorest one. / made as poor
a speech as I made in New York in
1927. when a hundred and fifty friends
honored me with dinner at the Bilt-
more hotel. AS we were going out,
irwin Cobb, who had presided, said to
me-:
did you get your watch?"
And l asked:
what watch?"
'"The watch we had such devil OF
time raising money to buy YOU" Mr..
Cobb replied. Haven't you heard
about it yet?"
I had been unconscious through 1t
all; when on my feet trying to express
my thanks, and when the watch was
given me.
Henry Allen is so much smarter
than l am, he is unconstitutional. I'll
appeal to the Supreme court, or the
NRA. If that does no good. I'll Join
others not as smart as Henry is, and
riot. We haven't been treated right
under the constitution.
Old Bill White, of Emporia, a plain
man of the people, was also present.
He's constitutional, all right; | can
make as good a speech as he can.
/ have been hearing a lot about old
Doc Tilden of Denver, and have looked
him up. He seems to be eighty-two
years old, and to have as much sense
as he ever had, with strong indications
he has always had good deal. After
practicing his profession in the regu-
lar way many years, he became con-
WINGED all our tinctures, ointments,
pills, lotions, powders were harmful,
and since then has been quarreling
with the doctors. Oh, yes, science
has been marvelously developed, says
the old doctor, but the people will
have none of it when 1t interferes with
the old voodoo remedies for poverty,
colds, palms. We have all become so
big feeling, so proud, we have forgot
ten not only our manners, but the old
common sense. If we have cold, we
want a pill cure. If we are poor. the
voodoo remedy is easy; print more
money. If we are in danger, we
knock on wood for luck, and go in
deeper. Plato was an old fogy; the
old man next door with his talk about
getting back to safety, is another.
MY investigations seem to in
dictate that old Doc Tilden Is a good
man; pays his debts potter than the
average old man. and believes In all the
decencies of life. Those who hear of
him believe he Is disagreeable IA
matte, but around Denver, where he
has lived many years, he stands rather
higher than the average.
Charles Darwin was an educated,
candid and worthy man l greatly adj
mire. Still, he was compelled to oc-
casionally guess. as l am compelled to
do. He believed all progress comes
from peculiar individuals; sports" as
men of science call them, or the "heav-
en- sent" as rhetoricians prefer to style
them. I disagree with the
great Darwin with an apology. ! be-
lieve progress comes through the ages;
from reasonably good fathers handing
down to sons the results of their ex-
perience believe that the great
genius who invents convenience APP
paratus and blesses mankind-as Bell
invented the telephone, Edison the
electric lights only hard working
man and behaves reasonably well as
citizen while about 1t. The most USE
full and agreeable men have ever
known have been notably Industrious
and well-behaved. OF course, Edison
and Bell were what we call "smart
| men,: but every community is full of
them. There are millions of tramps
and Migrants who might have become
notably useful citizens had they ap-
preciated as much as Edison and Bell
the Importance of hard work and char
acter. I believe the doctrine
lately advanced that man who works
hard and behaves is thus strengthened
in brain power and character. ] be-
Iieve the social cripples are due mainly
to their failure to accept the truth all
experience has proven: that honesty
is the best policy: that every average
man may easier achieve sufficient sue
cess than what we call failure.
The citizens of a considerable town
In Texas were robbed of SS0O000 by
local utility company; partly by
their own carelessness and lack of
| Judgment. >artly by the depression.
and partly by the plain villain; of
agents. ThA citizens refused to tame-
ly submit to the outrage. and made
row so threatening they are now rea-
sonably apt to recover something from
| the wreck: half, enthusiastically