davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1934-10-12

One of the commoneSt fal-
lacies of present-day American
life is the idea that people over
80 years of age do not expect
birthday presents. You would
be surprised-unless you are AZ
years old-at the number Of
people who believe this myth.
Where the quixotic notion
originated I have not the re-
motest idea, but after shoulder
ing with Indignation for years
I decided last summer to take
matters into my own hands and
do what I could to remedy the
abuse, at any rate as far as it
concerned me.
Neglected lovers of birthday
presents may be interested to
learn that my efforts were sue
cessful beyond my hopes. For
my birthday this year, instead
of the four spangled birthday
cards have been receiving an
nually since I passed %, I took
in two bottles of Scotch, a bottle
of champagne, three neckties, a
half dozen expensive old tum-
blers, a flashlight, some doilies
to put under glasses, fountain
pen, a basket of fruit, bath
towel, a mouse trap and a box
of crayons (joke presents) and
a sumptuous birthday dinner I
goaded a friend into giving me,
with champagne, roast turkey,
oyster dressing and ice cream
with chocolate sauce.
BY exercising little tact and
initiative, any lover of birthday
presents can accomplish just as
much as I did. All you need
to do is start working on your
friends early, and keep at it so
that they may have no possible
excuse for not remembering the
day. You can do this by means
of conversation. Any converse
F.. ton can easily be guided into
the channel proper to your pur-
pose.
For three months before my
birthday, whenever I met
friend I thought was good for
more than a birthday card, the
talk would go something like
this:
why, hello, George"
"Hello there, Frank. haven't
seen you in dogs age"
mo. You certainly are
sight for sore eyes, George"
"And how about yourself? I
haven't seen you in a month
of Sundays"
That's the truth, all right,
George. I don't believe I've
seen you since Washington'S
birthday. Say, that's funny"
what iS?"
MY mentioning birthdays
The Washington times., 1934-10-12
LISTEN, WORLD
By Elsie Robinson

ness at the same stand when
the Shining Future came along.
And I'm telling you-neither
of them is ever what it's
cracked up to be-the reason
being identical in both cases.
Meaning what? Meaning that
both Past and Future are the
product Of plain, ornery human
beings. And humans being
what they are, there never was
and there never will be a mil
1ennium.
All romantic reports to the
contrary, the Dear Old Days
were just days. To hear the
Better Bleaters tell it, you'd
think we all went around
swapping rosy apples, planting
hollyhocks and singing Christ
mas carols. Piffle! we did
nothing of the sort. We
grabbed, snorted, snarled, blub-
bered and dragged our ears IN
1894 exactly as we're doing
in 1884.
And we we're told then, just
as they're trying to tell you
now, youngsters, that life had
been Just One Long Sweet
Song some forty years before.
Likewise, the opposition party
informed us that, when the In
famous Outrage Of Our Present
Rotten Regime was eliminated
in the next few years, every
thing would be completely jake.
Did it happen? OF course it
didn't! But the liars went
right on lying, and the world
went right on believing them.
as they. always have and always
will. For, since the world be.
gan, lazy, cowardly, conceited
humans have always tried to
duck reality. And the ideal
hide-outs for that purpose have
always been the Past and the
Future.
Dreams and Memories-what
perfect escapes they offer from
the tiresome pressure of today!
You don't have to KNOW any,
thing, DO anything, or BE any
thing in either of them. NO
WONDER THEY'RE OUR FA-
VORTTES, ALLYEAR-ROUNO
RESORTS.
WelI you can have them,
stranger. But as for me, GIVE
ME AMERICA-TODAY! MY
Country, as is-battered, be-
wildered, busted. muddled.
messy, fighting mad. Yet big
stupe though she is, I'd rather
be in her, with her, for her
sharing this helluva scrap, than
have all the pipe-dream phooey
of your, never-never Cathay!
Copyright 1894, by King Features
Syndicate. 1nc.)
The Washington times., 1934-10-12

the Dear Old Days, and say
ing how heavenly things were
before we all went to the dogs,
or else they're drawing glowing
pictures of what swell place
this is going to be after we've
kicked everybody out, closed
everything up and started all
over again.
But do you hear anyone say
ing that they're strong for liv-
ing RIGHT HERE AND NOW,
even if everything is a mess
and we don't know where we're
going, or how we'll get there?
No, you don't. But you're
about to. For I'M FOR TO
DAY! You can have your
Shining, Futures and your Clio
rious Pasts. I'M FOR NOW!
Remember how TennI'son put
it. when all the other Victo-
rians were Sogging around, just
as most of us are doing now:
BETTER FIFTY YEARS OF
EUROPE THAN A CYCLE OF
CATHAY!"
Alta boy, Alfred; that was
the stuff! Cathay, according to
popular report, was a most en-
ticing location, full of sighs,
songs, silks and cinnamon. Not
to mention sunsets, serenades,
stars, seraglios and similar sentl-
mental slop. And London was
merely full of SCOT and sore
heads. But even though you
were a poet, AL, you preferred
one hour of reality to an
eternity of dreams-and I'm
voting your ticket.
No, I'm not being a Polly
anna. AS a general thing, I can
whine and wheeZe with the
best of them. But I've been
fifty years collecting personal
data on this Past and Future
contest. I lived in the Glori-
Gus Past while it was happen
ing, and I was still doing busk
The Washington times., 1934-10-12
Many Happy Returns
Bv FRANK SULLIVAN

like that. Because mine is the
22d of next month.
your what, Frank"
my birthday. The 22d OF
next month"
"Well, I'll be seeing you,
Frank"
"The 22d. OF next month"
"What?"
"Oh, I thought you asked me
when my birthday was,
George"
moo, I didn't say anything"
'It's the 22d. Of next
month"
"well, so long, Frank"
$50 long, George"
If the weather is the subject
of conversation, that also can be
maneuvered, as follows:
Hello, George"
Hello, Frank. Nice weather
for ducks, hey?"
II should say so. I'm tired Of
this rainy weather. Gosh all
Friday, I hope it doesn't rain on
my birthday"
II hope not, Frank"
II don't think it will, though.
The worst of the rainy weather
IS generally over by the twenty
second of September.
"Oh, is your birthday tllen?"
eyes. The twenty-second. OF
September"
Now beat it just as fast as you
can, otherwise George may
stymie you by saying, That's a
funny coincidence. Mine is the
tWenty-first."
Never try to sell anybody the
idea of giving you a present II
you have reason to suspect he
would want one in return. You
can usually size up a friend and
tell by the cut of his jib if he is
that close-fisted.
BY all means, discourage the
giving of joke presents. Many
people try to wiggle brazenly
out of their birthday duties
to their friends by giving them
funny gifts from the Five and
Ten. Do not countenance this
sort of horse play for a
moment.
If anybody shows up with a
baby rattle, or a 10-cent ring,
instead of a half dozen pairs
of silk socks, do not laugh at
the whimsy. Adopt the air
Queen Victoria wore when she
said, 1--WE are not amused" and
give your friends to under
stand that a birthday is not a
laughing matter but a sacred
occasion to be celebrated by
the presentation of rich and
costly gifts.
Copyright, 1884. King Features
Syndicate, 1nc.)
The Washington times., 1934-10-12
T 1uman Side of the News - ByEdwin C. Hill

a gnarled and leathery old
herdsman, living with the Eski-
mos. "Herding reindeer is my
business" he said. II can de-
liver the herd. want the job"
The old Lapp recruited about
a dozen helpers, Indians and
Eskimos. including women. Then
there began the most amazing
trek through an Arctic wilder
ness in modern times. Only last
spring, after more than four
years on the march, did they
come to the end of the journey,
with the herd intact, except for
those eaten on the way. They
mushed through temperature of
10 degrees below zero. Aero
planes occasionally dropped
them supplies in the last two
years of their march. Old An
drew brought all his party
through.
The efficient Department of
Northwest Territories, headed
by o. H. Finnie, was on the job
at the receiving end. Two sci
entists-A. E. and R. T. Por-
sild-had coached the Cana
dians in the breeding and use
of reindeer, and helped prepare
them for the care and distribu-
ton of the animals. The herd
is increasing, and food, skins
and draught animals are as
sured for thousands of under
nourished natives.
With the growth of the herds
in Alaska, something compare
BILE to the frontier cattle wars
of the States developed. The
Eskimos and Indians complained
that the Lomen family was set
ting up arbitrary rules for graz
ing and marketing. The Gov
ernment investigated and sus.
tanned the Lomens.
The wife of Carl Lomen is
Laura VolStead Lomen, daughter
of the author of the Volstead
act. She is an energetic and
resourceful woman, helping the
brothers build their herds, and
continually deviSing new uses
for reindeer hides. They fly
about Alaska a great deal, usu-
ally going down to Seattle for
the winter.
Gold production has ebbed.
Placer fortunes taken three or
four decades ago are scattered.
But the heavy, clumsy reindeers
not at all the fleet creatures
of the Christmas legend-have
increased and multiplied, mush-
ing across the wastes with those
heavy pads which never sink
into the tundra, nibbling brack-
iSh moss and getting fat on it.
Not yet does the annual value
of reindeer production of Alaska
equal that of gold, but each year
it creeps up. A few years more,
if the present trend continues,
that original herd Of 10 reindeer
will Surpass in value that golden
lure which jammed the Klon-
dyke with mad adventures 80
or 40 years ago.
Copyright. 1884, by King Features
Syndicate, 1nc.l
The Washington times., 1934-10-12

casioned in past months must
be offset by a furious rush.
True, some checks that should
haze been paid months ago are
a little late in getting on their
UGyS to their destinations. But
the AAA says better late than
neUer.
Elections are approaching.
The farmers must be satisfied.
So AAA leave has been can
celled.
The AAA has gone to work.
The Washington times., 1934-10-12

awards were Secretary wallace
made for curtailing the num-
ber of pigs grown, the inhabl-
tants of Middlesex county re-
ceived 100000. 1t was one OF
the largest sums paid out in
any county.
There WGS q reason. lDhy the
census takers could find no
young hogs in MiddleSer county.
The hog-raisers of Middlesex
send their sucking pigs to the
West and Middle west to be
fattened for the market.
They were not reducing pro-
ductiOn.
But they received their $780,
900 for having other farmers
fatten their pigs.
All holidays are restricted at
the Agricultural Adjustment Ad-
ministration.
The request for as much as an
hours leGDe places any emplOye
in a precGriouS position 1Oith his
SuperiorS.
Vacations will not be in order
until after the latter part Of
November.
The AAA, of which Mr..
Chester Davis is administrator,
is getting down to serious busi-
ness.
Checks must be mailed to
farmers who have subscribed to
the Administration program
and plOwed under their cotton,
corn, etc.
Tho do1o1, +bof hoe haoYo on.
The Washington times., 1934-10-12

Governments can't seem to
let we'll enough alone. A little
while back, the U. s. Depart
ment of Agriculture was busy
up in Alaska, crossing rein
deer with the caribou, the re-
Sultant being the carideer.
According to genetic Specifica-
tions, the carideer will have the
nice disposition of the reindeer,
but will be a much bigger and
tougher contender against the
savage wolves which have
preyed on reindeer herds.
The five sagacious Lomen
brothers-with their fSther, the
Federal judge, in the news as
their buildings are wiped out"in
the Nome, Alaska, fire-are in
terested observers of these ex-
periments, and probably will
profit by them in time, if there
is a percentage there for any,
body. Not since Santa Claus
had anybody taken a flyer in
reindeer, until they organized
the Lomen Reindeer Corpora
tion, grew great herds and built
up a fortune.
You can now buy a choice
cut of Lomen Brothers reindeer
meat at the new municipal
Washington market, at a price
a notch or two above ordinary
meat. It has a flavor some
where between that of a NAL
lard duck and veal and does
not taste like venison. It's sale
is increasing. Hides are being
worked up for light flying suits,
hand bags and the like. ...
The Lomen brothers, a hardy
prospecting clan, are said to
have between three million and
four million reindeer, with their
herds increasing steadily.
Forty-three years ago DR..
Sheldon Jackson, general super.
intendent of the Bureau of Edu-
cation in Alaska, made inten-
Sive studies of the possibilities
of reindeer as food and draught
animals and induced the Gov
ernment to buy ten of them
from Siberia. That was the
start of the great Lomen herd
and other big herds owned by
EskimoS and Indians. Seaweed
and reindeer moss have been.
their principal food.
Young Andrew Bahr was a
Laplander, and was brought to
Alaska with the first reindeer,
to teach the natives to herd
them. In 1929 he was old An
drew Bahr, the reindeer had in
creased to millions, and the Ca
madam government began query
ing Uncle Sam about the
chances of picking up a few
husky reindeer.
EskimoS and Indians in their
far northern wastes were fac
ing starvation, with the failure
of food supplies. Lomen broth.
ers stepped in and offered to
sell four thousand reindeer to
the Canadians, delivered on the
far side of the head waters of
the Mackenzie River, more
than 1000 miles across a savage
The Washington times., 1934-10-12
Let Europe Fight!
We're Out, and Well Stay Out

Scarcely month passes in these troublous times that
does not confirm the wisdom of George Washington's
advice to "AVOID FOREIGN ENTANGLEMENTs."
What may happen in Europe result of Tuesdays
bloody scene at Marseille, tell
: It may mean war. All sane persons earnestly hope
that it does not But if Europes ealouses and rvaes
boil over into conflict then let Americans thank
Heaven that we are OUT of it, and resolve to STAY
OUT of it.
We have no concern with European affairs. We have
every concern with own
We have enough alien enemies in our midst without
going abroad to seek We have problems aplenty
to solve without trying to solve foreign problems.
Our venture into foreign problems in 1917 killed thou
sands of fine young American boys lost billions of
American dollars brought the contempt and hatred
of all the other so-caled ''civilized powers
Never again.
George Washngton's counsel is good enough for us.
If European nations want to fight let them fight.
We shall regret it, but decline to be drawn into it.
This is country, let keep it safe for ourselves
and for children That was Washington s counsel
and it is counsel that long have held to it, has
never guided us wrong and always has guided RIGHT
The Washington times., 1934-10-12

ways barking
back to the
P a S t, a n d
that's tn? hu-
man W h O. S
always yearn-
ing toward
the Future.
Right now
our popula-
ton is prac-
tically divid-
ed $3.50 be-
tween these
two classes of
pests. Every
body's either
moaning for
The Washington times., 1934-10-12
The Greatest SH07W
On Earth
By Iohn Snure, !

Next to the great Suffolk
county, Massachusetts,, lies Mid
dIesex county, one of the most
thickly populated areas in the
Bay State.
Within it's borders lie large
towns, villages and hamlets.
Yet, in the hog-reduction pro-
gr1m it ranks high tDith the
men of Secretary of Agriculture
Henri A, Wallace.
The Washington times., 1934-10-12

When the
census W a S
taken recent
ly it was re-
ported that
M id d. e sex
county W a S
doing more
t h a n a n y
other to re-
d ce the
n u m ber of
hogs raised.
It W a S an
"honor" coun-
ty as far as
t h e hog-re-
duction pro-
G r a m W a S
concerned.
w h e n
The Washington times., 1934-10-12

Elections are approaching.
The farmers must be satisfied.
So AAA leave has been can
celled.
The AAA has gone to work.
Upton Sinclair, Democratic
gubernatorial nominee in Cali
fornia, is doing his best to con-
vince the folks of the virtues of
the EPIC plan.
Back a fen gears, Sinclair
and Frank GodWin, brother of
Stuart Godwin, publicity di.
rector OF the Interior Depart
ment, Uere at the artists colony
at Arden, DeldW1re.
Sinclair, just beginning to
draft his SocialiStic plans, ad-
vised Frank Goodwin of its fea-
lures.
He spoke about a "single tax
plan" Goodwin was enthusi-
astic.
"Stu" asked his brother
what he knew about a single
tax" plan or any other plan
of taxes.
Said Frank:
4 don't know much about
them. 1t just seemed to me
that we pay out a lot of taxes.
1 should think it would be bet
ter if we could pay only one
taxi"
Knowing little more than that
about the single tax plan' ad.
vocated by Sinclair, Frank God
win began to discuss it's merits.
He received 900 votes for
governor because of his exten-
Sive knowledge.
Government officials vith Of
ticeS in the area near the neW
Post office Building are often
seen weGring tlowers in their
button-holeS these days.
Around that area hoverS a
blossom salesman known as
"Dapper Dan, the flower man."
To him is attributed an in
geniOus method of securing his
roses and carnations. He has
no overhead.
A person does not necessarily
have to buy the flowers of
"Dapper DAN"
Often when some person can
not pay, Dan gives him or her a
flower. They cost him nothing.
Weddings and funerals are his
source of supply. To them he
goes to secure the leftoverS from
some baSket-or wreath.
Copyright. 1894. The Washington Times.
The Washington times., 1934-10-12

wilderness of tundra, snow and
ice.
The deal was made and that
The Washington times., 1934-10-12
Preparing the Budget
A Dangerous Method

j. A Dangerous Method
In laying before the American University Park Ct
Association the difficulties which the District gov
ernment encounters by of the roundabout system
of preparing the local budget District Auditor Daniel
]. Donovan touches upon condition which should be
remedied promptly by Congress.
THE SYSTEM AS IT WORKS OUT NOW RESULTS
IN A FAULTY DISTRIBUTION OF THE CITY's Elk
PEND1TUREs, HAMPERS PROPER DEVELOPMENT
OF THE COMMUNITY, AND IN MANY CASES RE-
SUITS IN DOWNRIGHT WASTE OF THE TAX
PAYERS MONEY.
Under the present method of budgetng the city it is
impossible to avoid these results.
The procedure calls for the heads of District depart
ents to submit their estimates to the Commissioners
The Commissioners study the estimates a whole and
work out efficient budget giving to the departments
the amounts which most effectively meet the depart
ments needs and still stay within the available
At this point the budget is satisfactory It reflects
the needs of the ctys government and the considered
judgment of the most familiar with the communitys
condition
BUT AFTER THE BUDGET HAS REACHED THIS
STAGE IT MUST PASS INTO THE HANDS OF FED
ERAL OFFICIALS WHO IN THE VERY NATURE OF
THINGS ARE UNFAMILIAR WITH THE CITY's NE
CEssITIES AND UNIMPRESSED BY ITS DESIRES.
These Federal officials may do they please with
the local budget They can increase or decrease any
figure in it. They strip department of its appro
pration They can include in the budget appropriations
which cannot be expended efficiently and effectively
THE BUREAU OF THE BUDGET CAN COMMIT
THE CITY TO A COURSE OF EXPENDITURES
WHICH IN THE END WOULD EITHER BANKRUPT
IT, OR, BY BECOMING TOO PARs1MoNIoUs, DE
STRoY ITS NATURAL DEVELOPMENT AS THE
NATIONAL CAPITAL.
The findings of the bureau must of course be sub
tted to Congress- which it might be assumed
would give local officials an opportunity to overcome
any faults which may have resulted from the previous
action of the Federal agency.
AS matter of FACT however, the District officials are
barred from presenting to Congress items which have
previously been saowed by the Bureau of the Budget
WHEN THE LOCAL OFFICIALS GO BEFORE THE
CONGRESSIONAL COMMITTEES THEY MUST DE
FEND AND NOT ATTACK THE BUDGET, EVEN
THOUGH THAT BUDGET AS FINALLY PREPARED
BY THE BUREAU OF THE BUDGET IS QUITE CON
TRARY TO THE ESTIMATES ORIGINALLY PRE-
PARED BY THE LOCAL OFFICIALS
If this system served any good purpose it might de-
serve perpetuation. But it does not.
It accompshes no good The Commissioners cannot
spend than the city income The estimates of the
Commissioners subject to final review by the Con-
gress.
It is not contemplated to this final Federal
check but the present method of routing the local budget
through the Bureau of the Budget is absurdY which
should be eliminated in the interest of efficient govern
ment.
Let Europe Fight!
We're Out and Well Stay Out
Scarcely month passes in these troublous times that
does not confirm the wisdom of George Washington's
advice to "AVO1D FOREIGN ENTANGLEMENTs."
What may happen in Europe a result of Tuesdays
The Washington times., 1934-10-12

made an opening for old An
drew Bahr. Carl and Alfred Lo.
men had known him for years,
The Washington times., 1934-10-12
Give Me Today

There's only one kind of a
person who gives me a greater
pain than the human who's al
The Washington times., 1934-10-12


]. FtEDatrCk.
Askov American. [volume] (Askov, Pine County, Minn.) 1914-current, 1934-06-28
ASKOV YOUNG
LADY IS BRIDE
LuOma-ClauSen NuptialS are Pro-
nOunced i'm ASkOv Danish Luth.
eran Church Sunday Afternoon.

A wedding of considerable interest
to the people of the Askov community
took place in the Danish Lutheran
church in this village at 2:15 p. m.
Sunday, when Miss Alice M. Clausen
became the bride of Mr.. Walter M.
Luoma. The ceremony was pro-
nounced by Rev. Carl Rasmussen of
Salinas, Calf, and Mrs. Alfred l..
Nielsen played the wedding march.
The bride is the daughter of Mr..
and Mrs. Hans Clausen of the Askov
community, and was bern and reared
here, where she received her educa-
ton. For the past six or seven years
she has been employed in Seattle,
Wash, Santa Barbara, Calf, Chicago,
ILL.,. and Minneapolis.
The groom is the son of Mr.. and
Mrs. Matt LuOma of FlOodwOod, and
is little known in ASkOv. He is fore
man of the tire department of the
Midland Cooperative Oil Association
in Minneapolis.
After the ceremony reception to
over one hundred guests was rendered
at the brides home, after which the
newlyweds left for Minneapolis where
they will make their home.
Relatives from Floodwood present at
the wedding were Mr.. and Mrs. Matt
Luoma, parents of the groom, and
their daughter, Bertha; Mr.. and Mrs
DIVA Carlson, Mr.. and Mrs. John Lu-
oma, Mrs. John Alanen, Sam Heikkila
and Miss Helvia Berg. Besides many
of the Midland staff from Minneapo-
lis, Mr.. and Mrs. Elmer Jensen and
son, Elmer Lee attended.
Congratulations and best wishes
are extended by a large circle OF
friends to Mr.. and Mrs. LuOma for q
happy married life.