The Waterbury Democrat., 1934-03-16
gRYOUR
 CHILDREN
By Olive Roberts Barton
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How to exercise the chiid's
 "courage" muscles Is de-
 scribed by Olive Roberts Bar ton in another of her articles
 on Child Training.
 
 After six fantasy gives way largely to realism, This may hap pen, earlier, but we take six because 1t is a good average and we set the milestone there. And too there are some children of in- tense imagination who will continue to indulge fancy. In fact some people never lose it at all. I am not speaking here of "es- capes" or abnormal day-dreamers. In each of us there is healthy and beneficial imagination thai carries us through life. This imagination is responsible for the worlds best work, its greatest happiness and hope.
 But imagination can be very destructive too. Jimmy needs our help.
 Now under this destructive" imagination I am going to class fear. Fear can be ticketed with almost any of the psychological processes we choose. It is an in- stinct so closely related to self" that it controls human destiny al- most entirely. It is wrong to think that fear can be entirely eliminat- cd from the mind, or that it Is caused only by bogey stores, un- fortunate experiences and so on. That such things do cause abnor- malities and set certain dreads we most certainly know any anything that contributes unnecessarily or cruelty to the fear instinct is to be avoided as much as possible in the young child.
 The COwardIy Child
 But we must face fear as a fact. Self-preservation is the first law of nature. It is necessary to rec ognize that in few people 1t seems to be absent altogether and in some it is almost negative, but from there we have varying de- grees upward, or downward, until we reach the coward whom unfor- tunately we despise..
 The most miserable child on earth is the "coward", poor little soul, who tries to be brave. Some times to conceal his humiliation he turns bully, but mostly he nurses his dark secret, thinking he is worthless and weak. Being highly imaginative he naturally gives in to his inferiority emotion and this only makes 1t worse.
 One of the cruelest and meanest thing we can do to child is to brand him a coward, sheer at his shrinking, and try to force him to a bravery he can never feel. Physi- cal courage has been a false god for too long - that is, physical courage from our point of view.
 I am not urging any parent to wrap his child up in wool or build him a brick house to keep out the bad wolf As matter of fact felt much more akin to the two little pigs that ran for their lives and hid under the bed than I did for their shrewd and extrovert brother.
 Of course I think it wise to in- still in Jimmy as much real cour- age as possible, both. physically and morally. But instead of set- ting a high standard and then in- sisting that he touch it, the better way is slowly and gradually ex- ercise his courage" muscles, and not expect the impossible at once. No substitution for real courage is good enough, and if he is not handled carefully he will substi- tute some pretty bad ones. He will try to create an impression of bravery that is not in him at all, and in so doing use pretty cheap means.
 Taking Hard Knocks
 A child can and will learn to take tough knocks first through those he trusts. I do not mean beatings or punishment. It might be illustrated by the simple pillow fight with his dad. He'll fall off the bed and crack his head and call it fun. Don't cry over him. Be "nonchalant" and light pipe. if you smoke one. Mir Smith. But don't laugh and don't sheer if he cries.
 Jump a creek and say: "Do you want to try it?" Perhaps you might fall in yourself, for a req son, Gt's almost worth suit of clothes) and then say: "I'll bet you're smarter than I am." There are a hundred ways to lead child to physical courage - away from imaginative fear to realism. It depends on your resourcefulness.