Askov American. [volume] (Askov, Pine County, Minn.) 1914-current, 1934-10-11
The Very Strange
Adventure OF
Poor Poll
BY "THE OBSERVER"

parcel or the newspapers of our day.
l, for one, never used to race to the
front door, to grab the paper before
it had stopped Hopping after the man
ner of half-dead fish, to see what
Mr.. Andy Gump or Skippy have done
to make the world a better place in
which to live. | have looked at them,
mind, but l insist that l can take
that brand of humor, or let it alone,
like 80 beer or spinach.
But l must confess that since Oc-
tober 3, my eagerness for a good
laugh has somehow dominated my
better self. Immediately upon hear
ing our dog barking Justify at the
newsboy each morning, l leap from
bed and rush out of doors to grab
the paper from the startled carrier.
Then I gaze at the paper with
mingled emotions of admiration,
amazement and the desire to laugh.
Now, understand me, please. l still
do not care if Mr.. Gump's uncle has
made or lost billion, or if Skippy
has torn his pants again. Not at all.
For it is the strange Adventures of
Poor Poll' that has made me, finally,
delirious reader of the comic Sec
ton, usually to be found on the front
page. This great change in me has
all happened since the day of Oc-
tober 3, when % capitalist controlled
newspapers of the state banded to-
gether to begin their newest flight
of fancy, their so-called Governor
ship Poll"
The remarkable Pioneer-Press and
Dispatch burst out with these truly
cOmical headlines on the first day:
Nelson Leads In Governorship POLL"
"Regan Ahead of Olson" and Auto
Owners Give G. o. P. to 1 Ma
jority."
Poor Poll! They must have been
feeding you crackers soaked in that
new blended whiskey, or dropped
marihuana weed in your cage to make
you talk so strangely. And what
headache it gives you afterward. Eth,
Poll?
The first story to break in the "Ad-
ventures of Poor POLL" series seems
to have startled even the editors
themselves when they saw the thing
in cold print. All comic supplements
are aimed usually at children, al
though even the six-year olds knew
these reactionary papers intended to
have Mr.. Nelson leading right from
the start. But the children had a
hard time, like swallowing castor oil,
to absorb that "Regan Ahead of Oh
son" headline.
So, these editorial master minds
printed little surprise" on the Sec
ond or third day. They placed Gov
ernOr Olson ahead of Mr.. Regain by
thousand or so votes in an effort
to make Poor Poll seem just little
sane, anyway. Of course, it would
never have done to place Governor
Olson in first place. Of course not,
for this is feature for the comic
section-not authentic news.
1t seems notable to this observer
that Mr.. Nelson always seems to be
on the receiving end of 1870 of the
total votes. Personally, l think this
shows an astonishing lack of origin
atty on the part of the bright boys
who are daily guiding the progress
of Poor Poll. Why not have Mr.. Mel
son lead by $3.50 of the votes on one
day and then jump to, say, 500 on
the next day. This should relieve
the danger of monotony and provide
the suspense" elements so necessary
to the success of all comic supple
ments. Alas, we had really looked
for better things from the newspaper
boys, but perhaps they will surprise
us yet.
At least the boys keep trying in
their papers. Remember the various
rumors of graft and even murder
they gave loud voice to, only recently,
as we'll as the waving of red flags
daily in their editorial columns? All
this is, of course, a sad and touching
effort on the part of the newspapers
to effect a blood TRANSMISSION into the
battered carcass of the poor old G. o.
P. elephant, who lies paralyzed in the
graveyard of its ancestors, waiting pa
tiently to die.
These wailing cries of graft"
murder" and "red flags of COM
munism,' proved such buds in the
attempt to belittle the Farmer-Labor
party and its standard-bearer, that it
was decided to call in the very bright
est minds to create something new.
And so was born unto each OF these
% newspapers, their brain child, Poor
Poll.
We hope that the "Big %" will con-
tinue this amusing Adventure OF
Poor POLL" series so that we can en-
joy our daily laugh. AS to the cap
italistic, reactionary Republican party
and their % slaves, we feel confident
they will make further effort to cook
up some equally brilliant tripe to
stuff down the Threats of their public.
Perhaps they will not produce an
other murder, but at least we can ex-
pect one or more of those lit was ru-
mored by" or "TOwnley says"
scandal farces so popular with men,
bers of the Minnesota capitalistic
press around election time.
The big bang in 1.-THE (Mis) Adj
ventures Of Poor POLL" will of course
come on November Z, the day after
election. On that day the editors of
Il