The Kennewick courier-reporter. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1914-1938, 1933-01-26
This Week
By ARTHUR BRISBANE
A Good President
Comic Opera in the
u. s. A.
Hard to Pronounce
The Parasite Crab

tulZSS SluCSEtly Will HIS MIuOM duu
his son.
They will find comfort in the rec
ord that Mr.. Coolidge leaves be-
hind him-a record Of public serv-
ice that has put every American In
his debt.
Calvin Coolidge was distinctly
an American President. His views
on Europe's debts were expressed.
according to his custom, in few
words, 'they hired the money,
didn't they?"
He was interested, as President,
in the welfare of America, and in
nothing else, allowing foreign
countries to worry about their own
troubles.
He knew that the voters had not
elected him to look after any coun-
try or any people outside the
boundaries of the United States.
Our noble country begins the
new year with a report on recent
social trends" solemnly handed in
by a research committee, supposed
to indicate what we have been do.
ing, and whittier we are drifting,
filling sixteen hundred pages.
One "gem of purest ray serene"
showing that what we need in this
country is a submissive flower
class" that will bow down to its
betters, will delight you. Here it is:
Modern life is everywhere com.
plicated, but especially so in the
United States, where immigration
from many lands, rapid mobility
within the country itself, the lack
of established classes or castles to
act as brake on social changes,
the tendency to seize upon new
types of machines, rich natural re-
sources and vast driving power
have hurried us dizzily away from
the days Of the frontier into a
whirl Of modernisms which almost
passes belief"
You will travel far before you
find any more choice bit of snob.
bishness than that. We haven't any
established classes" made up Of
Americans that take off their caps,
or pull the forelock when they see
black coat. We have men from
Poland and elsewhere that have
built skyscrapers, instead Of being
content to live in log cabins. We
have changed 'dizzily." from moth.
ing at all to our modern civiliza-
ton, and that is what is the matter
with us. -sr
There should be another commits.
sion to report that the Declaration
of independence should never have
been signed, since 1t wiped out
established classes or castles, to
act as brake on social changes"
and that Jefferson should have
been put In jail for writing that all
men are created equal.
Senator Costigan, d Democrat,
from Colorado, says there are
twelve millions idle now. Governor
Lehman says New York State will
need help from the government,
and it probably will, like many 9TH
er States. BY the time the govern
ment finishes helping" it may
need help itself.
Our "little depression" still go
ing on, with prosperity just around
the-corner, is puzzling.
1t reminds you of a gentleman
dragged to New York police sta
tion on a charge of vagrancy. Such
gentlemen must be booked" their
name written down by the police
sergeant. After couple OF at
tempts, the police sergeant handed
the book to the vagrant, saying,
"Here, you write it." The vagrant
wrote &c. OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES.
That describes our depression well.
Mrs. Franklin Delano Roosevelt,
soon to keep house in the White
House, is writing a book on what
women have done in the past and
what more they can accomplish in
the future. |s-
To tell adequately about the past
would be difficult. To tell about the
future is, of course, impossible.
Fifty thousand or 100000 years
hence, when manual labor becomes
unnecessary, nothing harder to do
than press a button, you may see
women twice as big as they are
now, and men so small that their
wives will carry them about In van
ity cases.
That has happened in nature.
The giant sea crab, Of which Oar
win tells you, is always female.