The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1933-07-18

who says 1t is n only thing TO
do when they are at this smart
stage. but I can't tell whether she
is right.
I know my mother whipped me
when I vas that old, but perhaps
times have changed. I am going
to put it up to you and will abide
implicitly by your decision, as you
are such a real person that 1 al
most feel as if I knew you per-
sonally. PUZZLED.
A n S e RI can sympathize
thoroughly with your troubles in
guiding your daughter, for I have
two little son who present plenty
Of SerouS behavior problems.
Although they only are 10 and II
years old, I would not think of
whipping them, because I am I'M
willing to sever the cords of SYM
pathy between us.
When we come upon a difficulty
which we cannot resolve, it is our
method to call in some sympathetic
fourth person whom all three of US
respect, and lay the facts before
him. Our mutual friend judges the
case without emotional bias, and we
abide by his decision.
1t often happens that almost any
person outside of the family can
exert more influence on children
than those who live with them day
by day.
J. believe that if We parents we're
honest with ourselves, we would adj
NIT that the physical punishment of
our children does nothing but re-
lieve our own pent-up feelings of
wrath and frustrated authority.
1t provides us with an emotional
outlet, to be sure, but does it do our
children any good? Apparently it
it. only strengthens their resistance,
as in the case of your daughter, and
provokes the very effects which we
meant to correct.
You are right in assuming that
times have changed. According to
the best scientific observations,
corporal punishment is harmful.
The whipping post has been abol-
lshed from u cities, and the rod
removed from our schools. Only
home, sweet home retains it's hold
on these cruelties.
While I dislike to be the bearer
OF bad news, 1 am afraid that your
influence on your daughter is dead.
Another whipping undoubtedly
would drive her to further ex-
cesses, and possibly to flight. You
will have to trust to the contacts
she makes outside her home for
future guidance, for your hands are
tied by the strap you used.
At II a young girl Graves to be
accepted as a grown-up by her en-
vlronment, and not regarded as a
child. Her arrogance and impu-
dence only are the attempts of an
ego held too closely in check to i'm
press other people with its own i'm
portance. Tender sympathy and
understanding on the part of the
parent at this point are far more
powerful than strict authority.
The best thing you could do for
your daughters welfare would be
tactfully to arrange for her to spend
some time away from home. If you
could send her away to school it
would be an ideal solution. If you
can not do this, isn't there some
kindly relative with whom she
could live for a time?
l believe that at least a Tempo
rary separation from you, and the
continued influence of some very
wise third party is an absolute es-
sential if you hope to effect the
slightest change for the better in
your daughters conduct.
Dear Jane Jordan-I have a
daughter IA by a former marriage.
She doesn't get along with my
husband. She is jus, like a little
girl and is pretty stubborn. He
thinks she ought to be like a
grown girl. He almost hates her,
and between him and her I have
an awful time.
We also have a girl 4 years old.
I thought he would change when
she came, but he gets worse all
the time. I love my husband and
want to stay with him but I don't
see how I car 60 on. Please adj
wise me. UNHAPPY WIFE.
Answer-The easiest solution
would be to remove the child from
her environment by sending her to
live with kindly relatives over long
periods, or by letting her spend some
time with her own father if he is
alive and competent.
A reSourceful woman could occupy
the fathers attention with herself
to the point where he would forget
the minor irritaIons caused by a
14-year-old girl, gut you seem to be