The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1933-04-24

he promised me that he never
would see her again, but he made
an effort to see her about three
days later. I did not mention
this to him and have not men
toned their names TO himSsince it
happened.
But do you think he will begin
thinking about her again and
wanting to see her? I have stayed
away from places where he might
see her. I am terribly worried,
and wonder if 1t is only the be-
ginning of a lot of such cases.
I wonder why husbands play
such dirty tricks on their wives
He'has been kind 10 me and aw-
fully sweet. Don't you think
am wise in staying away from
places where he might see her?
WORRIED
Answer-When a Woman's huS-
band is unfaithful, it usually is the
last thing in the world she expects.
Husbands hold the worlds record
LOT llIluGllbN. NCb CdNA1 WOAiIcNAA ANNAp'
1T never could happen to me.
Therefore she is totally unprepared
for the emergency and is guided
solely by her turbulent emotions in
stead of a well-thought-out plan.
While I do not blame you in the
least for your behavior, 1 do not
think it is wise for you to help the
other woman by making her unob-
tainable. Your opposition adds a
certain spice to the affair by max
ing it dangerous and exciting. Be
sides. you have Debated your hus-
bands ego by catching him in his
crime, and that is bad.
No doubt he felt intentionally
guilty when caught, and his first
impulse was to tell the other woman,
You may be sure she always will
take care to restore his damaged
self-esteem.
That gives her an advantage over
you, for a man inevitably turns to
the woman who makes him feel
most comfortable about himself.
The first impulse OF an outraged
wife is to expose the people who out
ragged her. This puts them on the
defensive and often causes them to
Justify themselves by claiming
greater affection than they feel.
Condemnation on all sides drives
them into each others arms for con-
ISOLATION. Sometimes. it is true, great
affinities arise from such affairs, but
the average pair of cheaterS are just
out for a little excitement, and soon
tire of each other.
Hard as it seems, the wiSest thing
you can do is to stop issuing prohi-
billions to your husband. Thou
shalt not" is anathema to the male
and inspires him to his greatest
flights of foolishness.
From what you have written, be-
lieve that your husband still
cherishes a deep affection for you.
He has no desire to hurt you. What
seems like a dirty trick to you is
just a little harmless diversion to
him. Almost any man in the world
would laugh at it, and fail to under
stand why it is such a tragedy to
you.
l am not defending your husband.
I am stating a fact. This is serious
to you. but the chances are that it is
not serious to him. If you can recon-
Gle yourself to his viewpoint. you'll
be much happier woman than if
you strive to reconcile his viewpoint
TO yours.
Dear Jane Jordan-I read Lone
some Johns letter in your COL
umn. l am 10 years old and have
been married. I also liked mar
ried life, but we couldn't get along.
I always try to have a smile for
every one. take a drink and
smoke when on a party. I don't
go around swearing
Yes. I like a little loving. I
don't go with every man, and if
you like man when he is flush,
why not when he is broke? I also