The Ely miner., 1933-03-03
COMMUNICATED
TAKES"
Ancient History For March 4, 1888.
By F. Elwyn Iatta.

~ - k14"ya kaVe1.
When King Soloman died, the people
came to his son, Rehoboam, who sue
ceeded, and said, Our taxes are a
grevious burden. Our farms are mort
gagged. Our homes are being sold over
our heads for delinquent taxes. Our
businesses are so depressed that they are
going into bankruptcy and We cannot
make a living. All the banks are busted.
We can't borrow any more money. We
are groaning with despair. Tighten
our taxes. Let us off little easier so
we may save at least our homes our
farms and not see our businesses utterly
destroyed with the burden of these
terrible taxes"
Rehoboam consulted with his various
advisers and finally answered, "Git to
hell outa here. I'm going to
have an even more magnificent
reign than the Republicans had. If
you think the taxes you have been
paying are heavy, just wait until you
see how I pile them on. I'm going to
make grand stab to be friends with
Europe They know how to live over
there. We are crude here, and merely
backwoodsmen. The Europeans owe us
a lot of money. I'm going to cancel
those debts and make Europe love me
and then I'll add enough to your own
taxes to make you pay what give up
to Europe Then Europe will think I'm
a good fellow and will show me how to
travel in their country and spend
money, and then spend some more buy
ing fine wines and fancy liquors. and
have songs and women and high old
time. And my bankers here viii get
theirs back from some of their European
creditors.
If your taxes were heavy before,
they'll be twice as heavy before I get
through. You think you have heavy
taxes now You don't know nothing
yet. Wait until get through with you.
Then you will really know what heavy
taxes truly mean. If my predecessors
beat you with scourges, I'll beat you
with scorpions I'll make the Repub-
licans look like a bunch of pikers when
it comes to levying taxes.
You're nothing but bunch Of rubes
anyway, lot of lazy loafers. What a
crust you've got to come around here
bery-aching about taxes. When Joseph
was Prime Minister in Egypt the lazy
buns who lived in his day had little
depression too, few crop failures and
the like. What did Joseph doa Why,
he just laid on taxes harder and harder
until he took every foot Of their lands
away from them all, and their homes
and the businesses, until the kink owned
everything himself and the boobs didn't
have a single 500 markee left to their
names. That was joke. He made
slaves of the whole kaboodle of them.
And that's what I'm going to do.
When I get through, the Democrats
will own all your lands and everything.
See if they don't I'll double your taxes.
I'll triple them. And if that's not
enough, I'll quadruple them. I'll sell
billion dollar bond issues to build mag
nif1cent public works; buildings for my
wives" here in Washington, the red
tape pay roll cocophants; roads and
bridges, and parks that will blind your
eyes with their glory; I'll build great
artificial lakes in the desert for power
and to irrrigate gardens; I'll take your
lands and turn them into public parks
into forest reserves, game refugees, play
grounds and such. Go on. Git outa
here. Quit your complaining. What
do care about your taxes. If you
can't pay them; if you can't make a
living; I'll make you slaves and set the
whole lot of you working for the govern
ment. You're a lot of buns anyway
You ought to be serfs and slaves and
servants. Pay your taxes or turn youl
lands over, and your homes, to the
State. I'm selling bonds to raise a dole
and you can come and be the servants
of the government and work for Uncle
Sam or some of the States and the
State will feed you."
And that was the way it was in
Rehoboam's day. Who says history
doesn't repeat itself? No wonder there
was a revolution in those days.