The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1933-02-16
SCOOPS COLUMN
By Scoop Himself

"a y
By Scoop Himself
| Hen Picked
"Hey, Shrimp, do this, "-"You flea do
that"
Wash all the dishes and clean up the
fiat"
"Put on an apron, there's much work
to do"
The pants of the family are never on
you.
The above was my only anonymous
valentine. Amt it shame they have
found me out already. And me mar
ried less than two years!
Wanting to find out just what kind
of duck 1 am, I looked under Tues
days horoscope, which, ladies and
gentlemen, happened to be Valentines
Day, and on which said day Scoop
Himself appeared in this world many
years ago, or so it seems; anyhow,
here's the real dope: "An intelligent
person is here indicated, with a scien-
tifc mind eager to experiment, and
with f1uency of expression. Under
some aspects it may develop mali
cious disposition, which should be
curbed to avoid danger of frenzy,
since unrestrained it might lead to
mania"
Therefore when you see me foaming
at the mouth you want to run. 1t
wasn't a horoscope / saw, it was a
horoscope.
It's Got Me
give up. For no apparent reason
at all it seems, have labored for four
hours on jig-saw puzzle and enjoyed
it. If anybody had told me a week
ago l would ever lose sleep over a
sig-jaw puzzle, would have smiled in
a patronizing way just to show that
such a waste of time was beneath my
dignity.
But there's something uncanny in a
puzzle when it keeps the boss editor
up until one o'clock, when his regular
bedtime is 8.
We just stopped in to say hello.
One group was working on one puzzle,
another group on another. Not want
ing to argue over the different pieces,
Mrs. Scoop herself chose one group,
and Scoop himself, the other.
"You mean to say you've been work.
ing on this for two hours and don't
have it fnished?" was my introduce
ton. Here's where this piece goes,
and there's the fellows head. If
someone would just find me his ears
we'd be started. The fellows hold
ing a glass in his hand. This is going
to be a drunken brawl. That copper
part looks like some of the still.
There's either some coils or ropes.
Maybe if we could get the border COM
pleted, we could find more pieces to
fit.
There's a fellows pants hanging
over chair. Unless this is bedtime
scene, that's no place for them. The
lady has pretty face, but she's bru-
nette. And wearing blue hat, only
it isn't hat at all, but part of the
tapestry. The still is going to be a
kettle. Maybe it's kitchen scene,
and the fellow has been out in the
rain, and is drying his pants before
the fire, while his wife cooks supper.
But there's no stove.
otis piano, not kettle, and the
lady is standing up before it. A very
poor position in which to master the
keyboard, if you ask me. But why
ask me, as I have only taken ten les
sons by mail, and have not yet
mastered the finger movements.
"No madam, the skirt doesn't go
above the lady's head, that is, if it is
skirt, and if she's lady. 1t might
be an umbrella. But who wants an
umbrella where the lady is practicing
her vocal lesson. A club would be
more to their liking. The piano legs
turn out to be andirons and the pants
on the back of the chair are simply
piano legs. The carved type, and sort
of baggy at the knees just the same.
"One more section to fit up and then
We'll only have two more sections to
do. What's this turning up? A
fewer garden right in the piano!
This still might turn out to be a
train wreck. There's a fellows leg
that has absolutely no connection with
the torso. Suspended in mid air, if
it fits where I have it now. Ladies,
will you please stop showing my coat
sleeves into the pieces l already have
fixed!
"Now you've done it! would have
had it all together in another minute.
l had the remaining $50 pieces all
figured out.
Glow anybody can spend his time
working these puzzles is more than l
can figure. But I've done enough for