The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1933-10-19


years ago somebody was hollering
just like they do today. The article
follows:
can average waltz takes a dancer
over about three quarters of mile,
square dance makes him cover half
a mile. A girl with well-filled pro-
gram travels thus in one evening:
Twelve waltzes, nine miles; four other
| dances at half mile apiece, which is
hardly a big estimate, two miles
more; the intermission stroll and the
| trips to the dressing room to renovate
her gown and complexion, half mile
more; grand total, eleven and one
half miles.
"But it tires her to death to push
a broom over so yards of carpet and
would break her back to mop up an 8
by 10 floor, although mother can do
both because she is used to doing it. !"
Seen on a Tombstone
"In life was all wrong.
But I'm dead right now"
" r
Was Only Pooling
care those new socks you have
on?" exclaimed Mrs. Scoop the other
day. give never seen them before"
And wanting to get one over on her
about her sock darning, l replied,
"I'm sure it's been a long time since
you've seen these"
+
Mild OR Severe?
If you only take one county paper
your mind ought to be at rest on the
weather for this winter. But if you
take both, how you must be suffering
mentally! Last week in the Democrat
all signs pointed to severe winter.
At the same time in The Republican
our Mt. Lake correspondent told us
the caterpillars had decreed a mild
winter, on account of black rings
around the tail and neck.
We must decide one way or the
other, lest our subscribers 60 crazy
worrying about such thing.
In the first place, about black rings.
There's been a black ring around
Archibaldson's neck both winter and
summer, which doesn't mean mild
weather at ADJUST Indifference.
And a ring in the tub might mean a
severe winter-less baths make less
loss of heat. Or anyway that's what
you might think, and what do you
care what 1 think?
There will be heavy coats on
pigeons, denoting severe winter. But
the coats won't be any heavier on the
unemployed, in fact they'll be little
thinner. So that may or may not
mean a hard winter, depending en-
tirely on the north wind and the
amount of snowfall.
Skunks will have a peculiar odor
this year, which means there would be
hot time in the old countryside if
you got too close.
The numerous roots on the johnson
grass this summer will make it long
and hard winter for me as far as pro-
duction goes.
Mice are trying to build nests in my
house, showing that it's going to be a
mild winter. If it was going to be
severe, they'd park in somebody else's
house.
They say it's been wet summer,
which makes it a hard winter. From
the way the prohibition vote is going
it looks also like wet winter, and
it's probable that there'l be no drouth
in this county either.
Looks like some people are trying
to delay winter the way they keep
wearing their straw hats.
Mustaches and boards seem to be
more plentiful, which might mean
anything from a hard and severe
winter to lack of razor, or just plain
laziness.
So you see all indications point to
either a mild or a severe winter.
Just take your pick and then let the
weather decide.
But as for me, I'll tell you what l
think, as if you cared.
The amount of red fiannels hang
ing on the lines of my neighbors,
Cecil Smith, Cot McComas, Lawrence
Junkins, J. M. Falkenstein, Harry
Helbig, and Ed Lawrence, indicates
just good old-fashioned winter.
But who cares about winter yet
with Halloween coming, and a big
celebration in store for all of US? The
Firemen are again breaking through
with good time and it'll be your
own fault if you don't take part.