The Coolidge examiner., 1933-01-20
The Fable of the
Bust-Over
g
By GEORGE ADE
(G. Bell syndicate.)-wNU Service.

ter at least Once during the
Glover Season. Suggesting that
even the most docile Work Animal
sometimes gets tired of tugging
away In the Harness and having
all sorts of Drivers yelling Glddaps
at him.
In the Case of Mr.. Irving j.
Whamm 1t would be difficult to find
a more domesticated and tanned
Old Dobbin. 1t just seemed that
he had been dropped down to the
Earth in order to do all of the
Heavy Pulling for Elyira and the
two Debs and the soft-cOllared Ar
gentine Prince who was Heir Ap-
parent and didn't work at anything
else, seldom calling for his Coffee
before 10 A. NJ.
Any down-trodden Money
Der who has three Gimmies to keep
in fine Raiment and Law ander Wa
ter and high-powered Cars and
whatever One happens TO see In
Shop Windows. seldom Is inclined
to learn the Saxophone, eat Welsh
Rarebits at &. m. or devote Hours
to penetrating the hidden Myster-
les of the Charleston.
Therefore. Mr. Whamm, aside
from being a Meal Ticket, was so
far as the other Whamms were con-
cerned just a Comic Strip. They
figured that he had only two Ac-
complishments He could make
Money and Social Errors. His
place was In the Background ex-
cept when 1t was time to write
checks. The ideal Arrangement
would have been to keep him in a
Cage somewhere and let him pass
out the Needful through the Bars.
Grooming Up Papa.
You can imagine the Consterna-
tion which prevailed among the
Whamms as the time drew near for
Mrs. Chauncey Wainwright's an
nual Bid for Publicity. Mid-Win-
ter. about the time that Folks
were recovering from the Holidays
Mrs. w. threw a Party which was a
combination of Reception. Dance,
Street Carnival and Indian Upris-
ing. The principal Idea was TO
make the World sit up and take
notice and she got her Wish.
II was the kind of Party which
no Woman could attend unless she
had Everything new including thS
which does not show; Intentionally,
1t was the sort OF Celebration for
which the Participants go into
training. usually sleeping all OF the
Day before. II was organized to
turn Night into Day. What you
might designate as a Wow.
What worried the Whamms was
that Papa would be compelled to
attend the Doings, because Mrs
Chauncey Wainwright's Mother had
heen Whamm and the Hostess
had exacted a solemn Promise that
Irving would be brought along. she
evidently labOring under the Delu-
sion that he was a Human Being.
He told Serena. otherwise known
as Mrs. Wainwright. that he would
check in early. wearing a Boyish
Bob and some Sleigh Bells.
The Wife and the two Lip-Stlck.
ers and the proud Aristocrat with
Glue on his Hair started In two
Weeks ahead To warn him and pre-
pare him. They told him that this
was going to be real Party, with
Palms in the Corner. Chicken
Salad. Punch Bowl. and Every
thing like that. The Guests were
not expected TO pull Taffy. pop
Corn or play kissing Games. 1t
was suggested to Mr.. Whamm that
he had better not wear his Com
forter and Yarn Mittens and to be
sure and remove his Ear-Muffs be-
fore entering the Ball Room.
Straw That Broke the Nae's Back.
Susie, the elder of the two junior
Feminine Liabilities. asked him II
he knew what kind of Tie went
with Full Dress and did he have
GfnAC ho l.
Wooden Ones sent back by the
Laundry? Chlorine, the younger.
begged him. for the love Of st. Pat
rick. not to wear heavy Street
Shoes with the conventional Re
gala and II he had to appear in
the old Dress Suit. purchased when
the Reception was given to Presi-
dent Taft. for the Sake Of his FAM
lily. to remain backed up against
the Wall all during the Proceed
ings.
You know, OF course" said the
Son, looking down at him from
Heights above, that there will be
no square Dances-not even a Vir-
ginia Reel. If you are wise you
will take that new Sabatini Book
with you and remain in the Upper
Apartment where the Gentlemen
leave their Things"
They hoped him just once too
often. They rode him ragged and
finally he Bucked. AS he retreat
ed to his Den, followed by Peals Of
Scornful Laughter, there came to
his Face a stern and set Express
sion of Resolve such as David wnra