The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1933-01-12
Fable of Co.
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Bv GEORGE AIDE
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old age of eighty-two. She came of
the Harbacks you have heard about.
Her Grandfather traded with the In
dams and the Noble Red Men have
been PauperS ever since.
In the thriving City of Wapahoo,
where nearly all of the important
Citizens moved in about Day before
yesterday, the Harbacks stood out in
cleaning Emigence like a stop-and-go
Signal on a frosty Night They were
Coronas entirely surrounded by
Stogies They were American Beauty
Roses nodding in Splendor above the
lowly Chickweed. They were as near
as we can come, with our limited Kit
of Tools, to bona fide Aristocracy.
For many Years before Aune Hes
ter departed. she reigned in solitary
Splendor in the Baronial Castle which
had been built by her Grandfather,
the one who turned the Water into
the River and then nailed all the de-
sirable Real Estate. 1t was made Of
Brick, very large and cubical, with a
high-browed Roof. The old Manse
had become prehistoric but it con-
tanned a vast Supply of Heirlooms
and TreaSures-the kind for which
Collectors sell their Souls. There
was the gilt-framed Paintings of for
mer Harbacks who gloried in Cameo
Brooches and Stocks. Some Of the
Black Walnut had come over the
Mountains in Ox-Wagons. The Silver
dated back to the Time when Silver
was a China Metal. The Crystal
and the China were Of the Kinds that
any good Housekeeper likes to have
around the House so that she can
refer to them once in while.
Queens With But a Single Throne.
Aunt Hester had dotted on Edward
and Jennie. who were the Offspring
of her brother. Tom Hanback,, the one
who held the Mint Julep record north
Of the Ohio River. Soon after his
aromatic Remains were planted in
Fairview Cemetery the son Edward
married Elizabeth Gibbs. whose Pa
was a wellknown Loan Shark and
Reformer. Jennie hooked up with
Rodney Derflinger who was due to
inherit the Implement Works and had
been sand-papered at a College in the
East.
Lizzie Gibbs acquired the 1S-karat
Monicker Of Hanback, and soon after
began to feel different, as the Blue
Corpuscles coursed madly in her Pa
trician Veins. Jennie had proved her
real Love by assuming the Label Of
Derflinger but she was still direct
and genuine Lineal Descendant Of
the Rufus Hanback, who had double
crossed the Indians and copied the
Government Land. She could not for
get that she belonged to the only
First Family in Town. Also she had
great difficulty in forgetting that Eds
Wife, nee Lizzie Gibbs, was the
Daughter Of Grocery Clerk who &C
quired his Pile by nursing Chattel
Mortgages and crying whenever he
had to cut the Rate to Two Per Cent
a Month.
Jennie and Lizzie got along like a
couple of Bengals. The Trouble was
that the Throne had not been built
for Two. The Socially Elect could
have but one Queen and she could
sport but one Tiara. Jennie and LIZ
zie each had kidded herself into the
Belief that she was that Queen.
On the other Hand, the two Consorts,
Ed and Rod. were true and loving
Pals. They were trying Repeat Of
Damon and Pythias. They didn't
give Hoot for the Family Tree or
the Society Column or the fractional
Warfares at the Country Club or the
Badge Of Shame which had to be
worn by any one who had not read
Foster on Auction Bridge.
After it came out in the viii that
Ed was to be Administrator and that
the Contents of the Old Home were
to be equally divided between Broth
er and Sister, there. wouldn't have
been a Kick or an Argument II the
Boys had been permitted to make the
fifty-fifty Split in their own Way.
They would have gone through the
Inventory and shaken High Dice for
each Item and cleaned up the whole
List and no Hard Feelings.
Dividing the Spells.
Not so with Mrs. Ed and the favor
tie Niece VINO, long ago, had spotted
the Articles she hankered for and
then waited with Christian Resigna-
ton, for Aunt Hester to pop off. The
very Idea of a Lizzie Gibbs coming
in, from the outside, and swiping any
of the Hanback, Loot was altogether
repugnant to Mrs. Derflinger.
SO she told Rod to go to Ed and
let him know that she wanted the
Portraits of Grandpa and Grandma,
the old Sideboard, the Sheffield and
the Willow-Plate' China because Aunt
Hester had shown them to her a
Thousand times If she had shown
them to her Once and just the same
as said that some Day or other she
wanted Jennie to have all Of them.
So Rod went down and sat on the
Edge of Eds large Desk and said,
"Well, Old-Timer, slip me the Bad
News"
"To begin WITH" said Ed, "my lit
tie Playmates's Idea is to go up to
the House and pick out whatever she
fancies, and when she gets Hers,