The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1933-07-20

one of my garden plants! This time
it was tomato plants. l let my dog
Hank loose the other evening, just
to see whether he had absorbed any
sense or reasoning power. Right
| away he wanted to run all over my
tomato and cabbage plants. My deep
est voice and cruellest commanding
tone had no effect on him. He still
tore around like mad, coming danger
ously close to my garden treasures.
Convinced of his stupidity and
wanting to show my authority in
some way l picked up a rock and
whizzed away at him. And didn't that
rock cut off the top of one of my
incest plants! And 1 never even came
close the dog.
At a meeting of the lawyers it was
decided most of them had been suffer-
ing from voluntary inertia, and that
they would take holiday during the
afternoons to recuperate during these
strenuous summer months. So every
body having business with them are
requested to call at their offices in
the mornings-or at their homes after
offices close; or peck three times on
the office doors and yell the magic
word through the keyhole. Just be-
cause the blinds are down doesn't
mean
I've said enough on that subject.
Neil Cusser Fraley said to be care
full and not say anything that might
bring on a libel suit, and I'm liable
to if I keep on.
The other evening we stopped in
the Boss Editors domicile to get
some of those rolls for which the
household if famous. After getting
inside the kitchen door, began samp-
ling number of other things when
the Boss Editors real boss appeared.
"Why don't you stay for supper" she
hollers. "You might as well eat here
as get it cooked here" And we ac-
cepted her invitation before she had
a chance to change her mind. Always
congenial to the last crumb.
###
l have often heard of people who
don't have sense enough to come in
out of the rain, but l didn't know
there were four in one community,
and l never would have believed that
l might be one of them.
But that was in the time, BAAITUG
| (before Archibaldson and took up
golf).
Such a plight might be eXcusable
for a couple of ordinary printers but
| for an educator and a treasurer to
be in the same boat, it's appalling.
And besides being in, the same boat
the oars leaked, and the put-put-put-
ter wouldn't put.
1t all happened when Prof. Bailey
Banks and Bittle got bit again by the
golf bug and wouldn't rest until he
made a pet out of the thing for no
other reason than just to train it to
sting somebody else.
Before a golf bug can sting, he
has to have some one out on goof
course to sting, so Prof. Bailey got
Jesse James, Jr., Archibaldson and me
where we are all exposed to the d.
sease. Later effects show, however,
that Archibaldson must have been
immunized, inoculated, or else it
just didn't take with him.
1t might have been the rain and
again it might have been the first
time he came to bat. He had four
strikes and one foul ball before he
finally teed off. James, Jr., DIETER
known as Ashby) performed more
satisfactorily and Prof. Banks of
course hit the first one across the
| pldIc. WOuiu SloOIy pass ONC1 IhS
fourth of the foursome but if you
really want to know he got to first
base on balls, called too high, too
low please replace turf) inside and
high, and outside wide. incidentally
l got to second base by tanning sever
al times. The rules are funny that
way.
| l still claim it was all right until
the rains descended and smote me
hither and thither until was nothing
but hither and thither all over.
Bittle would be the one to egg US
on, rain or no rain, and we would be
crazy enough to follow him.
And 1 still claim Archibaldson
might have liked the game if Dead
Eye Dick or Jesse James hadn't
tried to make hole in one with his
mashie and then veil "fore" just in