The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1933-12-16
1t
Seems
to
Me
BY Haywood Broun


have been a simpler. although less
exciting, place in the days before
economics came to dwell on the
banks of the Potomac.
Man is an irritable animal, and
in other years and other admins
trations there were designations and
the talk OF designations. But before
the new deal. when secretary fired
an assistant or an assistant fired
secretary, the vegetable incident
was generally attributed to the fact
that the two men didn't happen to
like each other.
Such plausible explanations no
longer prevail. If one official decides
that another is something short and
ugly, and follows up that thought
with appropriate action, the result
ing row is Immediately subjected to
Interpretation.
The front-page story the next day
will tell us that x was to the left Of
Y, or that both gentlemen were to
the right of each other. The inter-
prefers seem to forget the fact that
it is quite possible for two individ-
uals to stand in precisely the same
spot and still get on each others
toes.
"Infationist" has become almost
fighting word and sound money
man" an epithet And yet, after all,
there may be differences which are
not wholly economic. Once in the
Socialist party I heard an enraged
associate say to another, Il consider
you a complete scoundrel, Com
rade!"
A ND you are going to hear a
L n great deal in the next few
weeks and months about the word
"Socis list"
It seems that Professor Rexford
g. Tugwell is a Socialist. And why
is Professor Tugwell Socialist? 7
gather that he is dangerous radi-
cal because he is sponsoring a bill
which will cost the newspaper pub
fishers some money.
Perhaps the word socialist" is too
mild. Anybody who cuts into the
revenues of a newspaper publisher is
an anarchist.
The knives are being sharpened
for Professor Tugwell's hide. The
charge is being made that he wants
to upset American institutions. I'm
afraid that there may be some truth
in this. The pure food and drugs
act which has been prepared under
his direction would be certain to
interfere seriously with the sale of
certain patent medicines. He has
the audacity to suggest that adver-
tisers should not be allowed to make
false claims. He thinks that it is
ineXpedient to offer rosewater under
the assertion that it is a very
Verdun against the invasion of all
germs.
1t is the inalienable right of every
American citizen to take whatever
blame fool noStrum he pleases into
his system. Only paternal and
bureaucratic government would at
tempt to deny the free-born the
inalienable right to pay for the
privilege of assimilating impurities.
OUR forefathers were moved
" down at Bunker Hill in order
that their descendants should con-
tinue to enjoy the privilege of be-
ing moved down.
In a recent and forgotten maya
zine editorial Al Smith declared
that young college professors allied
with the administration were intent
upon turning us all into guinea pigs
for experimental purposes. He over
looked the fact that 100000 of
us are already guinea pigs living in
the pens of quacks and takers.
Depend upon Understanding
names will be found for the fight
against the Tugwell bill. Nobody
will confess that he hates to see
easy money drift away. 1t will be
an argument playing to the tune of
an anthem.
AS far as I can see at the mo-
ment, the patent-medicine boys and
the food adulterators are out to save
the American home from theorists
who would rob each householder of
all ambition and initiative to earn
enough money to keep himself sup
piled with pain-killers and cure-alls.
Accordingly, Rexford G. Tugwell
is a Socialist, and I gather that he
is all the mere dangerous because
he intends to sneak up on the
American public while it is fast
asleep. During some dark winter
night he purposes to destroy the
profit motive, and in the morning
Secretary Roper will wake up to find
the people calling him "Commis-
sar." The owner of the Chicago
Tribune will find that the name of
his favorite suddenly has been
changed to Pravda. He will be
surprised greatly. And so will every
body else.
NTE were talking about some of
w these things yesterday. and
a gentleman who has been in Wash
ington long time smiled cynical
ly. you are wasting your time get
ting excited about the TugwelI BILL"
he said. ct hasn't a chance on
earth of passing in any form what
soever."
But it's a good bill, isn't it?"
asked.
"Of course it is" he answered,
but the newspaper owners won't
have it, and you will find when you
have been around as long as I have
that anything newspaper owners
don't want never has happened in
America and never will"
I suddenly recalled an old line
which dranatists once used for the
Second-act curtain-"I wonder!"
(Convrioff b,y -rI,o