Carolina watchman. [volume] (Salisbury, N.C.) 1871-1937, 1933-07-21

you were thrown from Fire Queen
as a sort of mental swapping, due
:. to the pitch you'd worked yourself
up to-"
i Frills' dairy filled in most of the
gaps in the story that Neil had
gradually pieced out that day for
! Joyce. From the scattered notes
she learned that Frills had been
conscious of her loss of memory,
but filled with the CONJUNCTION that
all at once, some day, it would
come to her whom she was, where
she had came from-her whole
place of life.
Some deep INSTINCT" the dairy
said, kept me from telling anyone.
| felt that l must discover it, must
work it out, for myself"
And then later, came an entry
that made a very deep impression
on Joyce. II know l did wrong to
marry Neil Packard without telling
him. He's too good a man to be
treated SO meanly, but I just could
MT tell it. l couldn't tell him. And
had to marry him-not again in
a lifetime am l likely to meet a man
SO surely possessing that which can
be depended on. In this crazy
world it's something to know that
loyalty of that sort can be secur-
i ed!'
AS the dairy went on. the entries
became more and more excited.
Pm cheating Neil!" Frills cried,
He's got a right to a wife who's
more than just a unit existing for
! the time being! I've got to get
back to my memory! Perhaps drink
will do it. Bring on the wine
cups-I1l try 'em!"
g.. Why do l take SO much
Perverse pleasure in shocking people
around here? Maybe when l get
back my memory I'll find | was a
snlalltown school teacher, or some
body who never had a chance to
express herself! Well, I'm express
ing myself all right these days! All
I've got to do is think of some
thing reckless and wild, to be seH-
ed with an insane desire to do
it! 80"
And then, all at once, Arthur
Maitland-ugh, how l hate him!
Why do l endure him around me?
God knows! | flirt with him Ike a
common street woman-yet | love
Neil! Why do l do it? Sometimes l
feel as if it's to try Neil's patience,
to see how much he really will
stand from me. There seems to be
no limit to his afections!"
&c. ... I've gone almost the
limit and it's done no good! What
did i think it would do? God
knows! Neil knows-I can see from
his face that he knows there's been
too much to that affair between
Arthur Maitland and me. If he'd
Ionly knock me down. blow, they
say will bring back ones memory.
But Neil won't-he never will. I'll
have to kill myself first. Perhaps
that horse, that surly brute Fire
Queen. But l have a charmed life
"a charmed and a damned one!
How is this thing going to end?"
And the last entry in the book,
in sprawling, blotted characters:
i"T've been rotten over that baby
of Sylvia's. Of course Neil wants
it brought on here. But a child
why should l wreck a poor child's
life as I'm wrecking Neil's? It's
better off where it is-Im a lost
soul now"
"Neil," said Joyce at last, Neil,
doesn't it help to know that Frills
did care about you? She did love
you.
Neil did o reply to her qres-
ton, and Joyce saw that he was
trembling like a leaf. DO you think
do you think, Joyce, that things
might come u as mother hoped
they would? Do you think you
could feel that this was home? l
shan't bother you much myself,
but we might bring on Lawton's
child, and do our best with it, be-
tween U.S.. -,
"Oh, Neil, I feel as Frills said'