Western news and the Libby times. [volume] (Libby, Mont.) 1920-1933, 1933-03-30
The Fable of the
Unfinching
Heroine
g
BY GEORGE ABE
BY GEORGE ABE
@. Bell syndicate.-wNu Service.

~ Scots. probably suffered more
than any other Prominent
Lady of whom we have Record. 1t
will be recalled that Mary started out
as proud Monarch, and finished up
as Martyr. while Mrs. Wambo start
ed out as a Democratic Fixture and
finished up as a Gazelle. The unfor-
tunate Queen of Scots had her head
cut off. Mrs. Wambo did not go quite
that far, but she underwent Major
Operation. which seemed Just rs i'm
portant, and which was preceded by
as much Suspense. Doubt and Trepida-
tion Is that which racked the Royal
Prisoner.
Mrs. Wambo. before she got into the
Jam, had been married 80 many Years
that she had concealed all the Records
and changed the Subject when some
careless Friend began to dig up Dates.
She owned up to remembering the
Spanish-American War. but the De-
tails were all blurred, because she
was so young at the Time.
Whatever may have been her yif1-
tage. she had holy Horror OF looking
old. or feeling old, or acting as II on
the Retired List. She referred to the
other Bridgers as Girls and would
warn any Bachelor, on the slightest
Prnvocation, that her Husband was
Jealous.
She had Pair of Scales in her Bath
Room and had tried Facial Mask
and six or seven Years ago had
learned to walk loose and sIouchy.
like a Leading Lady In So show.
Also she wore one-pIece Contraption
which concealed her Knee Caps unless
she Ind to sit In a Steamer Chair.
Exit for the Seven Sutherland Sisters.
She had perfectly laudable Ambi-
ton to keep on looking an Ingenue
until they chopped her down. When
she got red In the face after dancing
continuously for about forty Minutes.
she kidded herself that the High Color
was the Flush OF Girlhood instead Of
warning against Apoplexy.
She wore Beads and took swing at
Golf Ball once In a while and used
to sit out In the Evening and sing with
the College Boys before the Ukulele
was pushed aside by the Saxophone
and Cross Word Puzzle.
From this Preamble 1t will be evil
dent that her name should have heen
Mrs. Ponce de Leon. Ii there was any
Fountain Of Youth, she wanted to hunt
1t up and dive In. headfirst.
1t happened that one morning Mrs.
Wambo aWoke and discovered that
the Seven Sutherland Sisters had be-
come Joke. 1t may be remembered
that these Girls had Tresses which
swept the Ground and were copious
all the way down. When all OF the
seven were punched, the View from
behind was like that Of Niagara Falls.
Mrs. Wambo recalled that. In her
Seminary Days, 1t was the longing of
every Sub-Deb to be Sutherland. SO
that when the Mop was rt down 1t
would reach to the Ankles. In fact,
1t seemed that Long Hair had been
the Rage from the Days of Eve, Cleo
patra and Lady Godlva. The last
named, for instance, certainly would
have caught cold IL the Modern Style
had been in Vogue IL Coventry In the
18th Century.
Imagine the Shock which came to
Mrs. Wambo when she learned that
the Flappers, instead OF wearing 1t
down to the Ankles, had decided to
wear 1t only as far as the first Gerry
ical Vertebra. Some modern Joan Of
Arc, residing In Paris. had taken
Tip from the Dutch Kids and Buster
Brown and had amputated the whole
Works just below the Ears. It seemed
that wlthfn~24 hours all the Cuties In
the world were throbblng with Excite
ment and wondering If they would
dare to follow Suit.
e The Situation Looks Grave.
The answer was not long delayed.
All Of the Young Ones fell for the
Fad. Within short time the Village
Barber Shop ceased to be the Place
at which the local Bootlegger studied
the Pictures In the Police Gazette. It
became Salon-the Social Center of
the Community, congested, for Hours
at time. with the. very Pick and
Flower OF young Womanhood. Prom
Inent Citizens who did not know how
To shave themselves began to resemble
Ernest Terrence, all pushed up for a
Western.
Hairpins and Side Combs suddenly
became n Drug on the Market but all
the Factories making Toilet Soap be-
gan to work Night Shifts.
When the new Craze began to sweep
the Woodlands and praries, Mrs.
Wambo spoke right up and said It was
Terrible. She pulled the Old One
about Woman's Chief Glory being
her Hair and she couldn't imagine
what some OF the Young Girls were
thinking OF when they sacrificed a
Top-Knot on which they had been
working for Years.
Mrs. Wambo stuck to her Waves
and Frizzes and the artificial StufDing
and any suggestion that some day she
rnlrht IpIn tha great Ciqfprbaod az