Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1933-07-27
THE FABLE OF
HOW WEDDINGS
HAVE SOLD OFF
So
By GEORGE AIDE


2 Be- byE41E41A-MSL& erW1G4
Ut CAME about that curing this
very October. Resale. only dalgh-
ter Of Nr. ard MrG ". X JeIIaby.
vas fairly dragged 10 the Altar
By Walter Dingieforth. whose Father
owns the Furniture Factory and pays
q timcrzeking Income Tax. even II be
does hire an Expert to protect him.
% that On the DAY when their high
grade OGxpring left them forever
(maybel, Mr.. and Mrx JeIIeby could
hardly refrain from doing Jig Steps
The Architect who planned the Jella-
By Home had not counted on taking
care Of 200 Guests at one time. con
sequenfly. when the big Doings were
pulled OF. about half Of the Ringside
Spectators we're parked n Railways
or Closets or on the Stairway. When
the Bids went cut no one was over
looked, because the Young People
would need almost everything when
they started In to furnish q large
Apartment
Mr.. and Mrs JeIlaby decided to cut
Il wide and handsome because this
would be their only Chance to make
q Splash on the Society Page Be
sides. they figured that II wouldn't
cost any more TO put on the Show
than IL would TO keep Resale In
Stockings for another Year. They
were getting nd Of the main Expense
Account and could afford 10 bust over.
A Golden cibbie.
50 they had a Strip Of Red Carpet
Naiden-Hair Ferns. q special Harpist
secreted behind Palms. a Caterer who
brought q vagonload Of Indigest1bles
and Rector who was 90 High Church
that you couldn't understand what he
said Everything was Oo-la-A and
right up to the Handle A great Day
for the Jellabysf You said IL
II was a Daylight AFFAIR. u O'Clock
Central Time. with everything sped
up because the Young Couple had to
get the Limited % as to catch the
Boat for Europe which RosaIie rather
wanted to see. as she never had been
east Of Akron.
The Main Bout went OF great II
had been rehearsed until IL was as
smooth as q Belasco First Night They
had Bridesmaids. who looked like fes-
tooned Marshmallows, and terrified lit
tie Girls strewing Posies and a freshly
shaver Male Body Guard in Under
taking Costumes whose Collars were
too tight II was a regular Wedding.
After the two Principals had been
legally welded and the rabid Assem-
bIage was fighting for Lobster Salad
and PimentO Sandwiches. Of course
there were all sorts Of Comments,
mostly right out in the Open and ia
vorable- Nearly everybody said that
the Bride looked cunning and had
done very well by herself in sharing
a Gibbie who probably had a million
already. with more in sight. and was
sufficiently educated to sign Checks,
even il he couldn't read a Book. What
you might call an Ideal Husband
kiekIess Punch.
Among those who were trying to last
II out was a rudy old Bachelor who
dated back to the Happy Days when
they locked people up for discussing
Birth Control. but permitted them to
drink Absinthe. He was sitting over
In a corner with two ossiied Crabs
who could almost remember the Mex
lean War and he was telling them
what q Hardship II was to get up at
Sunrise in order to see some weak
Drained Youth jump over the Preci-
pice.
Its all right IL you suffer from
Insomnia" said the unmarried Rene
gade, "but now that / am I'D, what
am I going to do all the rest Of the
dayf Whoever invented these II
o'clock Weddings had a swell idea,
with the reverse English. Wait till
the Whistle blows and then hop to it
I am telling you that in the by-gone
Era when Nights were not wasted on
Slumber. 1t would have been Impossi-
BILE to have this Show at Noon. At
that Hour the Groom was always In q
Turkish Bath trying to get back on
Earth after the Dinner for the Best
man, the Ushers and all others who
happened to be thirsty. As q Rule
the Lads didn't come up for Air until
6P. NJ. No one knew when the Cere-
mony would take place After all
the Stragglers had answered the Roll
Call. then the Preacher was given the
High Sign and told to shoot the
Works"
Have you tried the Punch?" asked
one Of the Old Timers. Il suspect
that the Coloring Matter is Aniline. /"
Il have wrapped myself around FIVE
Of them, hoping against Hope" re-
piled the Bachelor. "AI Of the Wom-
en- still look Plain to me. so / suspect
that the Recipe was borrowed from
the Rockefeller Foundation. II the
Stun carries Message, 1t must be In
Code. because / can't get anything
out Of It
A Rough-House Meal.
Things have come to a direful Pass
when they got to have one Plain
Clothes Man to watch the Presents
and two to watch the Guests. The
Refreshments may contain a lot Of
Vitamins, but they are shy on Mirth
and aughfar NJ nno -.-- A.