The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1933-02-06
Manners and Morals
by JANE JORDAN

! would be disgraced if she went
to home, which she always talks
Of doing. Which comes first, 1 ask
you, my mother or my family?
A DISCOURAGED MOTHER
AND DAUGHTER.
Dear Discouraged Mother and
Daughter-Your family comes first.
Whenever you find woman using
her enfeebled condition to dom
mate those whose fate it is to live
with her, you find wrong situation
which should not be permitted to
continue.
Felix Adler, Vienna doctor and
psychologist holds that our old
friend, the inferiority complex. is
responsible for most Of the malad-
juStments such as the one you de-
scribe. Every individual has a de-
sire for power If he finds an outlet
for his desire on the useful side OF
life, he is happy and his place IL
society is constructive.
If he fails in this endeavOr, the
result is a painful feeling of in
ferority, from which he seeks to
escape. Since he has failed to en-
gage his powers on the useful side
of life, he now turns to the USE
less. The retreat into illness to gain
attention is a common devise of the
defeated, and this is what your
mother has done.
1 do not mean that she is taking
her complaint. The chances are
that she actually is i'll, but the mis-
take lies in her exploitation of her
condition. When a person governs
others by means Of his weakness, it
is a sure indication that he first
was unable to govern them by
strength.
can not for the life of me see
why 1t would disgrace you to put
your mother in a home, where she
would be comfortable and well cared
for. 1t would be the best thing you
could do for her. Then she would
not be permitted to use her illness
to make her associates miserable.
If you lack the courage to take
this step, you must assert yourself
at home. Move where your family
will be able to function in the hap
pieSt manner, and she will follow.
never fear. She has no right to
expect anything from you other
than reasonable care and kindness.
When this is given you should be
free to lead your own life as you
see fit.
Dear Jane Jordan-I am a
young man Of 10 and have been
going with girl for the last year
and half I like this girl very
much, but somehow or other, I have
a feeling that she doesn't care for
me, although she never has re-
fused me a date when I call. Id
like to find out if she really cares
for me or if she goes out with me
just to be going somewhere. IF
knew for certain that she doesn't
care for me, I'd quit calling. How
can I find out? HOPELESS.
Dear Hopeless: Why don't you
ask her? You have such mega tive
attitude toward the young lady that
it is no wonder if her heart is not
involved The successful sutton
studies his ladys wishes and dis
covers ways Of pleasing her that
make him irresistible.
If she seems Indifferent, he
doesn't give up, but redoubles his
effort to bat down the resistance to
his charms. He never sits around
and wishes that he knew the state
of her feelings He is man Of
action who stirs up response in the
young lady or, if this isn't possible,
he leaves her fiat
Perhaps your own heart isn't in
volved much. Search your motives
and see if you don't call on the
young lady because it has become
a habit. It's easier to see a girl you
know well than to be bothered with
charming strange person.