The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1933-03-10

what 1t meanS-fOr q GIL 1 can I, OF
course, for man. Perhaps they don't
feel as much as we do, though they
always say they feel more"
She turned her head away for a
minute, and then faced him. Il can't
pretend wouldn't like to live like this
always" she said. II love the country
but haven't any illusions about 1t.
know that Lady Blanche farm--or
any farm-means lots of hard work.
lots of loneliness. lots of deprivation.
I'd like to have big, beautiful house
IN the city, and the constant associa-
ton with delightful people-and all
the rest of it. And when man
whom you like very much, offers them
all to you, and you realize that you
could not only have everything you
want yourself. but give your father
rest and comfort In his old age. and
your brothers a good education, and
-and-you hesitate. You can't help
It. 1t is an awful temptation. OF
course Gale Hamlin is too tactful, and
too-too square, to try to bride me.
But 1t amounts to bribe just the
same. So I've tried to love him. so
that IL could have all this.
thought ] could, perhaps. But l
can't"
Mary glanced down at Paul, her lips
quivering a little. He was still on
his knees before her. his eyes looking
up into hers. more steadily, this time,
than she could look at him.
Because" she went on. and her
voice was very low, you feel when
you love man that it doesn't matter
If he's so poor he hasn't shirt to his
back, or so bad that you've got to
drag him out of the gutter, If you
can only belong TO him. That you'd
rather bake his bread, and sweep his
room, and wash his clothes. than sit
on throne of gold, beside anyone
else. That you want to share his
poverty and his troubles and make
them easier If you can. That you want
to turn to him in your own sorrow
and in your own Joy. That you want
to marry him-to go to sleep every
night in his arms, and the first thing
when you wake every morning. TO feel
his lips on yours, kissing you before
you begin your days work together
That you hope, in time, he'll be your
children's father"
Paulrose from his knees and walked
blindly over towards the bay window.
When he finally came back, his fresh
young face looked white and old.
you didn't care for Gale Hamlin
like that" he said. as If he were
scourging himself with every word he
spoke, 80 you wouldn't marry him.
You didn't want man just because
he was rich and famous and good.
And you didn't want just the easy,
pleasant things, like Blanche. You
wanted the hard part. too. That's
that's the way you cared for me-"
"Yes." said Mary, unsteadily.
"And you don't any more"
1t was not question. Nevertheless.
Mary answered 1t with one.
do you think it likely?" she asked
Paul bowed his head. NO" he
said, Il don't think it's likely. OF
course know it's impossible. 1t was
insane of me to think for one minute
that you could marry me now, after
what did to you. when you cared
like that. ask your forgiveness from
the bottom of my heart, but ! know
don't deserve it and ! don't expect to
get it. Good-by."
Later in the spring, just before she
went back to Hamstead. Mary re-
ceived limp, square letter, on coarse
tan-colored paper with red triangle
in the corner.
"Dear Mary" it said
Il won't bother you by writing you
again, but can't start across without
doing it this once.
II do love you. know you don't
believe me and if you decide to marry
Mr.. Hamlin after all. I'll try to be
glad because l know he deserves you
-as much as any man can deserve
you-and l don't, but I'll make you
believe me, anyway when | get home.
1t would be silly of me to say I'll be
more worthy of you then, for of course
I'll never be worthy of you. But I'll
make you believe me, anyway. And
If l don't ever get home, please try
hard to believe me without any more
telling than just this. For do.
do, with all my heart and soul. Per-
haps didn't before. but do now.
"God bless you.
yours always,