Evening star., 1933-01-06

as they eat, but rather solely because
1t Is an ugly sounding word in itself.
Ugly is as ugly does, too.
To a certain order Of mind there Is
nothing more unlovely than the sight
of a human being munching an apple
unless, indeed, it be the sight of that
same human being trying to eat corn
on the cob.
Let no one assert that an apple may
be cut into sections and eaten as grace
fully and, If any one insist, as artisti-
cally as any other foodstuff.
1t may be-but the point is that it
never is.
The average apple eater insists on
consuming the fruit in the round, so
that in approaching it to the mouth a
portion of the entire countenance must
be lost to view
And food which brings this about 1,
a dead loss from the artistic stand
point If 1t be further insisted that
eating Is not art but alimentation, the
reply may be made that mankind since
the cave days has been striving to
make 1t both.
In some circles it may be questioned
whether eating is so much Just plain
eating as art in particularly pleasing
form.
One has but to stop to think Of the
damask, and the cleaning silver, and
shining glassware, and the flowers, and
the delicately contrived dishes to agree
that eating is often more art than food.
This Is as 1t should be. Even the
serious eater, who is not able to work
up much merriment about meals, but
who prefers to take them straight, as
it we're, nevertheless appreciates the
niceties of modern dining.
1t Is far cry from the up-to-date
table to the days when human beings
literally fed themselves and then threw
the bones to the dogs in the rushes on
the floor.
Your confirmed apple eater invari-
ably insists on eating his beloved fruit
skin and all. This requires much
crunching and munching, together
with a facial application distinctly un-
edifying to the spectator.
If one replies that the spectator
should mind his own business, we reply
that this Is precisely what the apple
addict will not permit.
Such an one insists on bringing his
apple right into the living room, just aS
you are listening to the radio or trying
to read good book.
Then crunch, crunch, crunch and
MUNICH, MUNICH, munch!
The thing becomes maddening.
One longs to rise In the face Of the
Fifth Symphony" and smear an
amazed face with what is left of mute
and inglorious apple.
One nightly resists and tries to
listen to the music. Tum-tum- de dun.
Now they are beginning on the core
(not the chorus, alas). Crunch, crunch
all the core is not gone yet.
Allegretto, indeed
The last of the core is now vanish
ing-one knows 1t and cannot help it
and cannot do anything about It.
II it were not for the blamed core.
the sacred American apple would not
be SO bad.
We are tired of the old joke about
mister, save me the core" and There
amt gonna be no core"
Both are poor grammar and shocking
displays of taste.
The core sometimes functions as a
missile In street ribaldry, which Is just
another score against 1t.
Perhaps the apple should not be
blamed for It's core, nor for the misuse
to which it may be put by human be-
ings. Maybe an apple day does keep
the doctor away, but we like better
that ancient wisdom which says that
an apple at times may happen to be
better given away than eaten.