davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1933-02-17
Mistaken Identity

Jakie-Ikey, you should pull the cur
tains down when you kiss your wife |:
saw you last night.
Ikey-The choke is on you, jake; !
wasn't home last night.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1933-02-17

Mary-Did Henry tell you rejected
him?
Henry's Fiancee-Yes; he often tells
me of the lucky incidents of his life.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1933-02-17
Why Worry?

Tommy" said the teacher, "what
is one-fifth OF three-seventeenths?
81 don't know exactly" replied Tom
my, but 1t isn't enough to worry
about. "-Staley Journal.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1933-02-17
Another Joke

II want cheap coat hanger"
Eyes, sir-twopence"
"Twopencel Is there nothing cheap
err"
"Yes. SRA nail. Cape Argus.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1933-02-17
NO TELLING

She-The new styles for women
will soon be out.
Helm wondering what they'll pull
off next
The Waterbury Democrat., 1933-12-15
Repeal Makes Glassware Gifts Popul'
TMmbIeys Ideal Christmas Choice For Women

IT you want very personal gifts for your women, then it ts an ideal year to give furs. Not a whole fur coat, that's expensive. Get ono or the new neckpiece and hat sets. or scarf and gloves with cuffs of matching fur, or hat and purse set.
 Handmade lingerie is always acc oeptable. This year make it white, pale blue or apricot colored, with lace at the bottom as we'll as the top. Lounging robes and hostess gowns, in Copenhagen blue or rose tones will set any woman up. So will one of the new metallic over blouses that dresses an ordinary suit up into a formal one. Gloves are another excellent gift but they should be de luxe ones, perhaps some of the new white gauntlets with black-lined cuffs.
 Materials for Frocks
 If mother, wife, aunt, grand mother or your other women on your Christmas list do their own sewing, why not buy some good old yardage? It's smart to make your own clothes again. Five and a half yards of Lyons velvet will make one of the new evening dinner suits. Four and half yards of OuO OI tic oAquiSil6 new 1l6tdIltC woolens, with a pattern to make 1t by, will be acceptable too. Or silk for an afternoon dress, or even goods for a new evening coat.
 Few people ever think of giving the woman who wears glasses a beautiful evening lorgnette, yet she would love it. Or a new handsome frame for her bone-trimmed glass es. Opera glasses are excellent for women who are near-sighted yet love to go to the theater. If the one you are buying for is a bridge addict, how about one of those tables equipped with their own lights? Or personally mono grammed cards and score pads? Or shuffling and dealing machines or some snappy new bridge covers or one of those bridge trays which you set up and supply with refresh ments in the kitchen and then merely set on the bridge table?
 Perfumes, bath salts, powder, compacts, special little beauty fit- tings for overnight bags, tickets for shampoo and wave treatments, makeup boxes, vanity tables, sets of bottles for dressing tables or bathrooms, manicure sets = all these are most acceptable to any woman. Of them all, probably the perfumery is the best, for few women buy themselves all they crave.
The Waterbury Democrat., 1933-12-15
DOCTORS WHO THINK
 PLEASE WRITE

Some of the methods of treat ment which have recommended to the public have been harshly crit isized or condemned by certain authorities" For that reason I have extolled these methods before various medical societies and asked members to let me know what ex- perience they have had with the new methods. I have observed considerable difference on the part perience. They seem to be intimi- dated by the loud-mouth brass sur geons or specialists who condemn anything new that doesn't conform with traditional theories or prac- tice.
 Sometimes I wish I could afford to run want ad from week to week worded like this:
 Wanted-Physician of good stand
 ing, not ever 90 years old, who
 is competent to give such and
 such modern treatment for so and
 so. Mention your clinical train
 ing and your experience with the
 method. Confidential.
 In that way I believe I might com pide a more comprehensive medi- cal directory of North America for my special service to readers.
 I thought it was difficult enough getting such data when I began promoting the chemical obliteration of varicose veins years ago. But that new departure became the accepted method for varicose veins in a few years despite the sneers and the theoretical objections raised by the authorities" When the diathermy method of extripat- ing tonsils came along, the brass throat specialists put up deter mined resistance and the cempila- ton of my roster of physicians skilled in this method was slow work. Quite often learned of a doctor using the new method suc-
The Waterbury Democrat., 1933-12-15
@aIINKNQWN- BLOND sEE sEE6SssS 5;s !is

Bannister's line of thought changed suddenly. "You must have been with Miss Lang" he said "at the time that bullet hit King" He turned toward Gainey. "Didn't the coroner figure 1t was between nine and nine-thlrty that King died?"
 Right" Gainey nodded.
 Coleman's eyes left the road ahead for an instant. "Is that a fact?" he asked. "I didn't know they could estimate the time so exactly"
 Gainey launched into a technical explanation of the coroner's work. Canister found the details a trifie nauseous and deliberately tried not to listen. Between 9 and 9:30 the night before he remembered only too well where he himself had been. A picture of the girl in the taxicab flashed before him - the girl in the green suit. It must have been almost 9:30 when he met her and 20 minutes later when he left her at the hotel. Tracy King had died between and 9:30, the coroner said. We'll, the coroner was an accurate man, extremely accurate in his work.
 ne neaTQ OOIeIndn dShlHB II He should turn at the next block and Gainey's answer in the affirmative. A minute more and the reporter had drawn up before the ancient brick building that served as Gen. tral Police Headquarters.
 Bannister and Gainey stepped out of the car. Coleman waved aside their thanks for the lift and the roadster was off again down the street.
 That's nice guy" Gainey com mented as he mounted the steps of the building.
 Bannister nodded. "Wouldn't you think Denise Lang would prefer him to the grooming orchestra leader?"
 "Aw nerts!" Gainey became sud- denly philosophical. Who can tell anything about a woman?"
 Inside the building they paused to speak to a blue-ooated officer. Yes, he said, Captain McNeal was around the building somewhere. Just came in half an hour before. They might look in his office up- stairs.
 For the second time that day Bannister climbed the flight of stairs.
 (To Be Continued)
The Waterbury Democrat., 1933-12-15

cessfully only through the casual mention of his name by one of his patients who happened to write me about something.
 And there's a curious fact. People write enthusiastic ecomiums about the diathermy method for the ton- sils without any mention of the name of the physician who gave the treatment. But when people are obsessed by some kind of quack- cry. they dwell on the quack's name and refer only vaguely if at all to the method of treatment.
 Since began recommending the abulbant treatment of hernia to the public. have encountered extreme who are qualified to give this treat ment. attribute this to two factors. First, the brass surgeons have a kind of corner on the treatment of hernis anyway; for up to the re- cent past the radical operation has been the only satisfactory method. Second, people generally know that reputable physicians have nothing other than operation to offer the rupture sufferer, and to the ma- jority of these victims consult phy- sicians only when some complica- tion make medical attention imper- ative. As a rule they fool with rupture cure quacks and mailorder fakers in the vain hope of finding cure or lasting relief.
 Some doctors, thank heaven, do their own thinking, just as some housekeepers do their own house. keeping. These doctors who have think for themselves are the ones who investigate, learn and adopt modern advances or improvements in methods of treatment.
The Waterbury Democrat., 1933-12-15
PARIS STYLES
BY MARY KNIGHT

Paris ris(UP)-Coats! That's some- thing we can lay on thick. Take
 Rodier's green and black Burdjar in a diagonal weave, for instance. It is soft and light in weight and
 warm. There are cream-puff like things perched on each shoulder
 made of the material and there doesn't seem to be anything that you could conscientiously call a collar. The coat just comes to- gether and up on the left side near the shoulder are two huge tassels made of thongs of natural colored leather. These, together with a thong fastening at the waist, do all that's necessary to keep the coat together. It is straight in line and has plenty of room in the sleeves without their being overdone. It's an Alex Barton affair.
 So is this next one, which is for more formal occasions. The material is in brown silk stock inet trimmed with astrakhan of the same shade. The fur starts right out of the neck at each side of the shoulders, widens gradually as it descends the arms and finishes finally in a bell-shaped lower sleeve which. narows again into a cuff at the wrist. The front of the coat is perfectly plain and fastens straight across the throat. The line is fitted through the body and no buttons or fastenings are visible anywhere.
The Waterbury Democrat., 1933-12-15
Set Of Crystal
nY auLIA nLANsHARD


 (NEA Service stan COrrespondentl
 New York-It's exciting to shop for mother wife, aunt or any other home-maker this Christmas.
 The end of prohibition has brought with 1t a whole flock of new things appropriate for gifts. Then, too, folks are getting back to home entertaining and there are countless home-making gadgets, big and little, from which to choose. Last, but not least, with style so individual. it is a magnifl- cent year to give gifts of lovely wearables.
 sThe outstanding new note in the Iid-of-prohibition gifts are. of course, sets of crystal glasses. Be sure to get a decanter or pitcher or decorative container, too. You can get clear glasses in exquisite design, or all kinds of novelties, of which the ruby red base and plaid design on the glass is one or the prettiest. If you want new china for your home banquets, remember that white is the smartest now and the newest. Raised designs of ber- ries, flowers, etc. in the white china are simply swell. Right in this same vogue come all the new white accessories for the table, in- cluding the Victorian shell-shaped dishes for salad, dessert or what ever you want to use them for. Table Centerpieces Smart White vases for table center pieces are very new, too. Also low chromium bowls with a couple of punches of silver and blue grapes. Also mirrors with tiny crystal an- imals. For the mantel place or ta- bles, there are literally hundreds of new vases, many of them repli- cas of the old "pairs" of decorative china that Grandma used to have And the right kind of a new lamp will delight the heart of any wom- an.
 Since cooking is once more tre- mendously important in America, French copper utensils, Mexican pottery baking dishes, electric chafing dishes, glass-windowed electric coasters and a multitude of other new novelties catch the eye. For Sunday night buffet slippers. the woman who is born hostess will adore the new chromium hot water food-heater, which has four different compartments kept hot by water electrically heated. As a tiny gift that will be appreciated by the home baker, there are new wood- each card slipping into a cello- en looseleaf recipe catalogues with phane envelope so you can handle the recipe with doughy hands without soiling it.
 Towels in New COIOrS
 Linens are always acceptable to home-makers. New bath towels come in deep ruby. blue, black and brown tones, instead of pastels. The newest towels not a solid color are the bathroom tile patterns, three rows of little squares in blending tones, with your mono- gram in the three colors above. For formal dinners, buy immacu- late white tablecloths in fine da- mask. For luncheons, snappy par ties, breakfasts and odd uses, sets run from handkerchief linen in pastel tones with appliqued flowers to crude handspuns from Europe with Russian cross-stitch design or gaudy peasant designs woven in.
The Waterbury Democrat., 1933-12-15
EPYOUR
 CHILDREN
By Olive Roberts Bsrtoa
Let Children Earn Christmas
 Money
6ss55 5E ML1 stsk.sz, l'.z


 Let Children Earn Christmas
 Money
 Right now let the children earn and save for Christmas. Wise parents have in many cases start ed long before this.
 But there is still time. A child's Christmas budget need not be large, but where it is at all pos- sible it is a fine thing for him to have a little change to disburse on presents of his own choosing.
 Be as chary with advise about his shopping as possible. Let him alone. He will take a thousand times more pride in the plate he buys you or the penholder he buys his father than if some one kibitz- ed and told him what to get.
 Parents are likely to think when little fellow Cor his sister) starts out with a dollar and comes home with an assortment of curi- osities that it is money wasted.
 View of Gift Buying
 All right. How about the pink satin thingamajig you've been making for Cousin Lou for the last month? Maybe she has dozens or doesn't wear that kind. How do you know that all your money, time and trouble aren't wasted, too?
 You have had a great kick plan ming and making it. You have had your thrill, and it is worth the price.
 Now about that earning. Per- haps you can spare a dollar or so and would rather give it flat to Jack or Jean than bother with, Here's ten cents for shoveling snow," or "I'll give you a dime if you wash the dishes"
 Perhaps it's bad thing, you decide, for children to get into the habit of expecting a hand-out for a favor.
 I don't think children are in danger of getting too mercenary under this system, even though it is regular thing at your house. After all, it's far better than for them to expect money, and they usually do, for movies and so on, without any gesture in return. It is a good way to put it, to say they do things in return for what you give them. Exxplain it this way rather than that they are be- ing paid for things they ought to do anyway.
 Earning Christmas Money
 It is especially fitting that they earn their Christmas money. To be given spending money leaves out a good bit of personal effort. Their own money, earned honestly and spent by themselves makes each gift entirely their own.
 When the shopper returns, don't for goodness sake make fun of his selections. Be sure he has good reason for everything he has bought.
 He selects from child standards, not from ours, but he will express himself in his buying just as we do. He may buy a bag of marbles for the baby, fish hooks for Uncle Dan who doesn't know a tadpole from a turtle or Little Red Rid ing Hood" for Sister Kate who has reached the flaming youth stage in literature but not that kind.
 Praise his taste, encourage his pride, and tell everybody else to do the same. Let him wrap his own gifts and present them.
 This makes Christmas.
The Waterbury Democrat., 1933-12-15
GLoRIFYlNe
 YOURSELF
By AIicia Hart

Using a soapless shampoo is one way of making sure that there will be no soapy deposits on your hair when you have finished washing it.
 Soapless shampoos are marvel ous for any head of hair but are specially recommended for girls with super fine hair. Be sure and select one made by a reliable man. ufacturer and don't confuse soap less shampoos with dry shampoos.
 Rinse your hair to loosen the excess dirt and dust. Then pour about three tablespoonfuls of the soapless shampoo oil right on the top of your head. Rub 1t around on your scalp and through your hair until each section is saturated. Rinse with warm water a couple of times and then put on another dose of the soapless shampoo oil. Massage it into the scalp with your finger tips. In otder words, use 1t the same as you would use a liquid soap shampoo.
 Rinse your hair first with slightly cooler water. Keep on changing the water making 1t a little cooler each time until the final rinse is almost cold.
 NEYT-Raauxv fOP Christmas.
The Waterbury Democrat., 1933-12-15

ping into the drivers seat.
 "This is mighty kind of you," Bannister said as the roadster's en- zine came to life and the big car backe dslowly out into the street.
 Coleman ignored this. Where you bound for?" he asked.
 Central police station" Gainey told him. If you can just drop use near car line"
 "I'll take you all the way" Cole man offered. q was going down town anyhow. No trouble at all. By the way, does one of you hap pen to have a cigaret?"
 Bannister produced a package and a lighter. When the three cigarets were glowing Coleman leaned back in the seat.
 1T followed you" he explained, "because Denise can handle her father ebtter than anyone else and I thought it would be easier for her if they were alone. Denise Lang is-Well, you see, we've been the best of friends ever since we were kids. Denise is absolutely 100 per cent" There was feeling in the mans voice. Easy to guess how he felt about Denise Langi q stopped in tonight" he went on, Ito see if there was anything l could do for her. Of course there isn't. There's nothing, I suppose that anyone can do. The thing is -too terrible!"
 'I suppose you knew Trasy King too?" Gainey asked.
 "Well. yes. I've sen him out at ol,1l, and mat him nnnp or twice with Denise. Very likable fel- low, I thought. Very likable! If you'd known him at all you'd know how utterly preposterous it is to think that anyone could murder him." He hesitated. T suppose it was murder?" he asked. "The po- lice are sure of that?"
 Ut couldn't have been anything else," Gainey told him. Charlie Westwood, the coroner, told me there were no powder burns. Be- sides, a man can't shoot himself without a gun. Whoever shot that bullet took the gun away" Coleman's lips set in a straight line. "Poor Denise!" he said ''She's trying to be brave about it." Ut struck me-" Bannister put in, ''that the father was more hys- terical than the daughter. | shouldn't think a man like that would be any too pleased to have his daughter engaged to marry the master of ceremonies in a movie | theater."
 q don't suppose he was," Cole man agreed, "but he's never denied Denise anything in her life. He couldn't very we'll start doing it now. He-hes a rather hard man to understand. I don't pretend to understand him and I've known him all my life."
The Waterbury Democrat., 1933-12-15
MAKE YOUR OWN HOLIDAY
 PARTY DRESS
In About Two Hours. Its Chic
 Lies in Its Smart Simplicity
By HELEN WILLIAMS
Illustrated DressmalSing Lesson
 Furnished with Every Pattern


 An utterly enchanting princess line dress of black velvet, uses sil- yer metal trim. The high neckline ties so becomingly at the back. It's dress that will gracce any formal afternoon, cocktail or din- ner party.
 For more conservative afternoons at luncheon, bridge, matinees or teas, make it of peacock blue, Chinese red or wild blackberry crepe silk in the shorter street length and preferably with long sleeves.
 You can make it at remarkably small cost.
 Style No 3172 is designed for sizes IA, 16, IS, 20 years, 36, 38 and 40 inches bust.
 See pattern envelope for material requirements.
 Price of PatetFn 15 Gents
 BEAUTY FASHIONS . PATTERNS in the new book of Winter Fashions. Read how to RECAPTURE YOUR PERSONAL ITY More ways to be the beauty it is your right to be. See what the cinema stars are wearing. You won't want to miss the new issue It has soignee, if you know what we mean.
 Send to-day for your copy, en- closing 10 cents in stamps or coin. This 10-cent investment will save you actual dollars on your win-
The Waterbury Democrat., 1933-12-15
STYLE CHATS
WITH ALMA ARCHER

There are two new perfumes which America is whiting, that ought to give the drug stores some- thing to think about. A drug store seldom stocks the magnificent as- sortment of perfumes that a real parfum shop can, because some of them won't jibe with the lunch de- partments without nupset. Shush- ing a lot of perfume through the air is one thing, but shushing it over drug store counter where the lunch speciality for the day is wild sturgeon and toasted eggs, is something different again. How ever, the new Mae West fumes are slated to be the telephone girls de- light, a march on Jicky and Djerkiss, and Maybelle Manning's White Star Jasmine will win a lot of the old rOrigan and Chypre converts.
The Waterbury Democrat., 1933-12-15

1.-I do, most emphaticaliy. It is tiresome, expensive. and fright fully inconvenient way for two peo- pie to become acquainted in the most intimate contact known to human beings. It becomes rather ridiculous when accompauted by sea-or car sickness. The home. making problems should occupy all the first days and weeks of mar riage. The honeymoon is bad psy- chology all through.
 2.-Dr Max schcen, of the Car negie Institute of Technology, writ ing on ''Instinct and Man. in the
The Waterbury Democrat., 1933-12-15

Scientific Monthly says: Human beings love nothing by instinct and hate nothing by instinct. A child can be taught to hate or to love any person or object, depending on how and where it is reared. Mother love is no more an instinct than love for one's country or family, a painting or a house." Many of the ablest psychologists and sociologists who deny the in- fiuence of heredity and believe in the almightiness of the environ ment would agree with this. I find it difficult to accept it without some
The Waterbury Democrat., 1933-12-15

ter wardrobe. Address Fashion De- partment. pattern. ferred).
 Price of book 10 cents.
 Price of pattern IS cents.
The Waterbury Democrat., 1933-12-15
NExT-Beauty for Christmas.
LEAD MINE IN HOUSE CELLAR

Potosi, Wis, (UP)-Built of red pressed brick made on the prem ises, the Uppena farm home near here is one of the few of its Kind remaining in this section of the country. The house was built in 1850. A large amount of lead was taken from a shaft sunk in the eel lar of the home. The house also served as the first church in the area.
The Waterbury Democrat., 1933-12-15
Sister Mary,S Kitchen

Candies made with dried fruit are a delicious alterna- tive to the usual Christmas confection. In this, the fifth of her articles on Christmas cooking, Sister Mary tells how to make such inviting sweet meats"
The Waterbury Democrat., 1933-12-15
qualification.

qualification.
 3-No. It shows we have not learned how to control our thoughts and concentrate them when and where we win. The most receives a shock, such as a great loss of disappointment that maker thinking of anything else impos. sible. But such a person soon re- gains control. It is all matter ot building up right habits 0f think. ing of people and things outside our own troubles.
The Waterbury Democrat., 1933-12-15
have grown fond of the flavor. .,

I have grown fond of the flavor. |. CT. B.)
 Answer: Flavor my eye. You mean you have grown fond of the effect of the sense-deadener, acetanilide. The carbonated water (soda, seIt- ger water, water made to sparkle by pumping carbon dioxide, carbon ic acid gas goes into it) is all right. But your acetanilide habit will ruin your healths soon.
 Borax Makes Shaving Easier
 The hardness of the water made shaving unpleasant. Friend suggest ed using borax in shaving water as softener. Is borax used in this way harmful to the skin? (S. J. H.)
 Answed-NOt at all, indeed it Is often beneficial, keeping the skin soft and smooth.
 Ben Is Back
 was operated on for goiter IS years ago. Tn March, June and September of this year I took your iodin ration. But have Ben Told it is dangerous for one who has had such an operation to use iodin in any form. Certainly have felt better taking it but. .... (M. P.) .Answer-This iodin ration is as desirable for you as it is for one
The Waterbury Democrat., 1933-12-15
QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS Heavens What EOolsi

I have been drinking five bromo- seltzers a day for some time past. My average dose contains grains of acetanilide and 8 ounces of car- bonated water. I drink it because