The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1933-07-27

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At least one conscience hurt after
reading my concluding paragraph in
last weeks column. Ny uncle came
all the way from Altoona, Pa, just to
pay his subscription. Now, if just a
few more consciences would prick the
bodies that contain them We'll be able
to continue the business of writing
this column.
I hope Al Jolson's encounter with
Walter Winchell, column writer of
some fame, isn't any criterion of what
might happen to all column writer's.
Jolson said Winchell spoke slightingly
of him and his wife in his column,
which called for a punch on the nose.
And l don't believe Winchell liked
it so well, either.
But he staged a ome-back night
before last when he socked Jack
Dempsey on the jaw.
At the Civic Club on Tuesday re-
turned missionary from Africa eX-
hibited a number of articles of cloth
ing such as the we'll dressed people
of Liberia wear. AS far as can be
learned none of those present at
tempted to try them on.
This new program of working 40
hours a week, advanced by President
Roosevelt, is too much. That only
leaves 1913 hours week for other
things. Sleep takes Sc hours, leav-
| ing but u hours. Meals require p
! hours, and we have but 81 hours re-
naming Fifteen minutes day to
! learn how to be an executive takes
another hour and As minutes, leaving
only 40 hours and Is minutes. Dress
ing, shaving and taking a bath each
day takes another hours, leaving but
AZ hours and Is minutes.
Thirty minutes a day for piano les
sons, half an hour each day for re-
ducing or gaining weight, as the case
may be, adds seven more hours to the
total loss, leaving only 35 hours, Is
minutes.
The time spent swatting flies is at
least one-half hour day, entailing
another loss of hours and One-half,
leaving only 81 hours, As minutes.
Pulling johnson grass, squzZlng bean
beetles, looking for potato bugs and
pests on the cabbage, cucumbers and
| tomatoes takes three and one-half
more hours, leaving % hours, Is min
| utes.
Attending meetings in this town
takes up at least ID hours, Is minutes,
leaving only IA hours. Learning how
| to be public speaker so you can hold
! your audience spellbound takes 30
more minutes each day; surprising
your better half by learning to speak
| French takes the same amount OF
time. leaving just seven hours. That
leaves one hour each day-and what
can one do in one hour? Swat more
| flies? Or what have you? Leav-
ing no time whatever for recreation.
| What we demand is fewer hours Of
work.
If the boss editor sees this he might
comply with the demand, but that
wouldn't be helping the unemployment
| question-or me either.
The President stated Monday night
the purchasing power Of the dollar
was restored. Restored to what, I'd
like to know. It's buying less for me,
and who's this new deal supposed to
be helping, anyhow?
Also, that the budget has been bal
anced. Now III tell one.
|
Eggs have gone up. Feed for the
hens has gone up. And how is that
going to help the poultry raiser, asks
me. As if had a hennery and cared
a lot.
! 40
Speaking of eggs
1t always chills me when | try
To make a public speech
And note the articles that lie
Within the public's reach.
NEWS FLASH)
! Famous Journalist
| Throws Friendsvillians
Into Complete Panic.
Subhead-Noted Republican Column
list Overcome by Good Eats.