davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1933-11-07
So Much for So Much

WTHEN the sense of humor is
w very strongly developed, some
thing else must be atrophied. People
who laugh a great deal are not truly
quick, but are actually unimagina-
tive. No man who uses his eyes to
observe all the things which lie
within his range Of vision can DOS
sibly avoid the conclusion, What is
there to laugh at?"
Instead of a national Laugh Week
there ought to be an annual period
set aside to be known as 'Keep-Of-
That-Silly- Grin-Month."
OF course, this is too sweeping.
should and probably will come back
to note exceptions. Obviously. the
sort Of wit which bites your hand
OH does not belong in the class Of
merriment which dissipates fighting
energy.
Copyright, 1888. by The Timesl
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1933-11-07

(Times readers are inrited to cypress
their rietcS in these columns. Make your
letters short, so all can hate q chance.
Limit them to ESQ toords or Iess.)
By E. NJ. J..
I have been pulling my hair for
some time trying to think up some
comedy situations. 1 might have
saved myself so much needless
anxiety. If I only had waited. I
promise to be patient in the future,
knowing the indianapolis and Indi-
ana state policemen will furnish
so many ideas that will have ideas
to sell.
Right in my own back yard"
as the song goes, is enough material
to make me famous, yea, rich. L
wonder now how I could have
thought there was no silver lining
to the cloud.
With hunted bad men playing tag
with policemen and running over
them getting out Of reach, and boot
ing them out of their own cars, Boy,
oh Boy! And policemen guard
ing all entrances to the 'big house"
to keep the hunted bad men out!
Everything is perfect. What more
could ask?
I'll bet it's this new deal bust
ness I've been hearing about.
BY John A. Friend.
Here is just a short story to show
you the injustice of war to the one
who wears the uniform, whether he
be in the United States army, Ger
man, Russian, or Greek army.
Soldiers the world over get the raw
real, friend or enemy.
In 1917, two brothers were work
ing on their dads farm. One was
hale and hearty, had good health
and strong. The other was small,
sickly and weakly. The draft came.
The strong brother was forced into
the service. The weaker one was re-
jected as unfit.
In 1918, the brother in the army
was overseas, fighting in mud and
water knee deep, was wet, cold, hun
cry. Finally, he was wounded and
gassed, and sent to a base hospital.
He lost leg and his lungs were
shot" All for dollar day. minus
his ST a month insurance and the
forced allotment of SIS a month to
help support his parents. The
brother at home the sick, weakly
one, got a job in the city at $3.50 a
day. He had a warm bed, plenty to
eat and clean, warm clothes. He
made good, saved his money, which
was to his credit, but he didn't have
to buy insurance and the govern
ment didn't insist that he help sup
port his parents down on the farm.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1933-11-07
So They Say

You must give your time and
money to the cause of charity and
you must do it for the love of Cod
Alfred E. Smith.
Well, if they burn me I'll Just have
to take it on the chin.-Albert Bates,
convicted kidnaper.
I don't know how they can collect
the verdict. I haven't got rs cents,
let alone ,000.-Claire Windsor,
actress.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1933-11-07
BY. MRS. WALTER FERGUSON

proceedings the air Of mathema-
ticians conclave, while the heaps of
arms, legs and heads uncovered,
layer by layer, after tackle, con-
vinces one that trench warfare
could be but a jot more bloody.
The great American gridiron con-
test nevertheless does have its saw
ing grave, chief Of which is that it
offers the sole occasion for man to
assume his natural role Of mentor
and boss. 1t is the one moment in
life when he is regarded with the
proper amount Of awe he has been
brought up to expect from the la
dies.
And how graciously does he play
his part! How carefully he explains
the decisions, and why the referee
penalized the home team and all
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1933-11-07

was put through by his predecessor. Major
General Lyle Brown. on the same salary.
And the enormous Muscle Shoals project
is directed by three men who draw $4,000
a year apiece.
SO what?
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1933-11-07

A congressman has suggested the price of
81 quart for whisky to kill the bootIegger.
That is, If he drank it,
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1933-11-07
Daily Thought

Grudge not one against another,
brethren. lest We be condemned; be-
hold, the judge standeth before the
door.-James, SO.
T CAN promise to be sincere, but I
L can not promise to be impartial.
Goethe.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1933-11-07

It Seems
to Me
by HAYWOOD BRoUN.

NEW YORK, Nov. TT do not
~ think" writes Mr.. G.. F. H,
that you are very funny"
Mr.. H, you never said q truer
word in your life.
It is barely possible that might
be funny if 1 tried, but I would
want odds of 30 to before attempt
ing the experiment.
And on the whole 1t is better If
never try, whatever the induce
ment. One who remains aloof can
always say:-"But if I had devoted
my mind to it-who knows?'
In all sincerity, I can not say it.
If I could be funny I would be
funny and make punS on the codes
and the blue eagle. am not deft
or imaginative about such things,
and perhaps it is mere defense
mechanism which makes me say;
80 what?"
I would rather be good than
clever. And I would much rather
be pretty good than pretty clever.
Kind of False
THANK GOD" so the phrase
l. goes, Il have a sense Of
humor"
This I have never included in my
prayer acknowledging Divine favors.
1t were better to have a milestone
hung around the neck. Humor is
the towards livery, and there is
great wisdom in the popular chal-
lenge. Laugh that off,
Generally we laugh at the things
which we are afraid to face and
fight. If the story Of Peter in the
high priests house were more de-
tailed we should probably find that
some funny remark accompanied
his denial of association with Christ.
Peter made a joke of the charge,
and there was superb irony in the
Growing Of the cock, for that sound
came hard on the heels of the
apostate's cackle.
Hell is paved not with good in
tentions but with wisecracks. None
of the vital men and women who
have ever lived could see a joke.
They were too intent upon the sight
of things at which one can not and
should not smile
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1933-11-07

BY Mrs. Clyde Smith.
I read the article of Mrs. Frank
Walton. Mrs. Walton could you
exist on 81 day? The capitalist
and people like you do not want to
pay decent living wage. And that
is what the trouble is with our
country.
I buy from people who employ
union men. That's what helps to
keep our country going. 1t is the
working class who spend their
money.
That is what Mrs. Frances Per-
kins is paid for-to try to make
working conditions better, and peo-
pie like you help drag the working
conditions down through ignorance.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1933-11-07

In 1919 the war was over, the
soldier boy patched up and sent
home a wreck. All he had when he
reached the old home town was $50.
His sickly brother showed him his
bank book. He had saved over 500 a
month, had a bank account well
over $1,000, and with the bonus his
company gave, had bought nice
home.
The soldier brother tried to get
work, but his wooden leg and bad
health kept him out of a job, so
finally he gave up the attempt and
went to the veterans home.
In 1880, the sickly brother was still
doing good, in business for himself,
with a nice home, car and bank &C
count.
The soldier brother at this time
was still in the veterans home, but
sickly, and in poor health. His legs
hurt him also.
In 1888, the sickly brother CT 1917
is still o. K, doing fine. The soldier
brother has been thrown out of the
home and now is on the county and
living at the poor farm. Sure, he
has a bonus coming in 1945 of near
ly $1,000. He may live to enjoy it
but if he doesn't, since his parents
have died, his sickly brother of 1917
will get it the day after his death
and will not have to wait until 1915.
The fit get it in the neck. The I'M
fit get it in the pocket, no matter in
which army they serve or in which
war they fight.
By G. J.B.
Jim Watson's fear that under the
new deal the young man would have
to face a dead level" without any
motive for ambition is needless.
When cabinet officers and other ap-
n0intqnS Of tho oOUarnnneY1t ara
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1933-11-07

Member Of United Press,
Scripps Howard Newspaper
Alliance. Newspaper Enter
prise Association. Newspaper
Information Service and Au-
dit Bureau OF Calculations.
Owned and published daily
Except Sunday by The In
dianspolis Times Publishing
Co. 214-220 West Maryland
street. indianapolis. Ind.
Price in Marion county. 2
cents a copy: elsewhere. 3
cents-delivered By carrier. II
cents a week. Mail subscrip-
ton rates in Indiana. g q
year: outside Of Indiana. Is
cents a month.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1933-11-07
:: The Message Center ::
For the Unions

Wholly dsapprOve of what you say will defend
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1933-11-07

NEW YORK, Nov. TT do not
~ think" writes Mr.. G. F. H,
that you are very funny"
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1933-11-07

(TimeS readers are inrited to cypress
their rietcS in these columns. Make your
letters short, so all can haze chance.
Limit them to ESQ toords or lesS.)
The times-news. [volume] (Hendersonville, N.C.) 1927-current, 1933-08-10
Many North Carolinians Out Of
Relief Work Because State Not
Able To Pay Federally Set Wage
Instead OF Getting Enough To Buy Food And Cloth.
ing WITH They Cannot Be Helped Under
Administrations Ruling

lief and getting enough to buy
necessary food and clothing for
themselves and their families, are
now getting nothing.
The principal matter which Mrs
O'Berry and the members of the
new relief commission expect to
take up with Relief Director John
stone is this matter of wages to
be paid for work relief. If the
relief offices are to pay 80 cents
an hour for relief. they must get
from two to three times as large
amounts from the government as
they have been getting, it will be
pointed out For so far, those on
work relief have been getting only
from 10 cents to Is cents an hour
and in some cases only food and
clothing. 1t will be pointed out
that the prevailing wage for ag-
ricultural labor, especially in the
tobacco growing sections is only
81 a day from sun-up to sun
down, while under the new relief
regulations workers would receive
$40 a day for only eight hours
work.
These new wage regulations
have also seriously interfered with
the many relief canning projects
over the state. iii which food was
to be canned for relief fuse this
winter, Mrs. 0'Berry said. "a'
The times-news. [volume] (Hendersonville, N.C.) 1927-current, 1933-08-10
The Times-News Burcau
Sir Walter Hotel

RALEIGH. Aug. 10.-The new
state relief commission, recently
appointed by Gov. J. c.. B. Ehrlng-
haus. will hold it's first meeting
here tomorrow with Mrs. Thomas
O'Berry, new state director of re.
lief. it was announced at relief
headquarters here today. Allan
tombstone, of the emergency re-
lief administration in Washington
and director of relief in the south
eastern states, will also be present
at this meeting and give the COM
mission the latest details and reg
ulations from Washington.
Relief work throughout the
state has been badly disrupted as
a result of the ruling issued from
Washington about week ago 10
the effect that a minimum wage
of 80 cents an hour must be paio
on all relief work projects IN
the state. The hours of work on
these projects were also limited 10
35 hours a week. Since there was
not sufficient funds to continue
these work projects and pay these
wages orders were issued from
here to all county relief directors
to discontinue all work rehef
projects immediately. This was
done. The effeetsis that thousands
who had beens receiving work re-
The times-news. [volume] (Hendersonville, N.C.) 1927-current, 1933-08-10
Tarheel Cotton
Men viii Receive
Large Sum, Said
Cash And Option Values
From Government 10
Exceed 5 Million

RALEIGH, Aug. 10.-(UP).--
North Carolina cotton growers
will receive S2,871,O36 in cash
plus options on 1O7,355 bales OF
cotton, valued at 81, 900, for
the acreage they have agreed TO
retire from production, Chas: A.
Sheffield. assistant director OF thH
retirement campaign. stated last
night. 49,
He said that SLOPE cotton
growers have agreed t o remove
from production 81 per cent OF
the $4,000 acres which were Sc:
as this states quota for retire
ment.
. The $4,000 growers who did
not sign retirement agreements
will share in the profit, too, due
to an estimated increase of $15,-
900, 900 in the value of the 1888
crop over that last year, Sheffield
stated.
The times-news. [volume] (Hendersonville, N.C.) 1927-current, 1933-08-10
TWO MORE DRY
MEETINGS SET
Balfour And Tuxedo Org.
anization Sessions
t~-: Arranged

The prohibitionists of Bat Cave
precinct have organized by elect
ing Thomas Mann Of Bear Wal
low as chairman. Vice chairmen
are D. T. Freeman and E.. B.
Hooper of Bat Cave and Mrs. H.
J. Oates, of Gerton. The secretary
of the organization is Mrs. Sam
Williams of Bat Cave.
Chairman Roy C. Bennett, of
the county dry forces. who help
ed with the organization of this
precinct Wednesday, reports much
prohibition enthusiasm in that
section of the county and that a
large number signed pledges and
endorsed the Rev. A. I. Justice as
dry convention candidate.
Chairman Bennett announces
that an organization meeting for
Green River township has been
arranged for next Tuesday night
at eight o'clock at Green River
Baptist church. Several speakers
will attend and a precinct organi-
cation will be perfected.
Chairman Bennett has arranged
mass meeting for Balfour pre-.
cinct. which will be held Saturday
night in the Baptist church at that
place. The principal speaker will
be the Rev. w. Herschel Ford
pastor of the First Baptist church
of Hendersonville. Following the
address by Mr.. Ford a precinct
organization will be formed.
The times-news. [volume] (Hendersonville, N.C.) 1927-current, 1933-08-10
Weed. MARKETS
IN n. {. Open
Warehouses Along South
ern Border Buzz With
Activity OF Growers

RALEIGH, Aug. 10. (UP).-
North Carolina 1888 tobacco
crop will start to market today.
The first markets will open in
the southern part of the state to-
day. Other sections will place their
leaf on sale later.
Along the South Carolina Dor
der, warehouses buzzed with &C
tivity yesterday as farmers began
bringing in their tobacco AMI pre-
pairing it for auction sales.
Interest conferred around mar
kets at Charlton, Chadburn, Fall
Fluff, Paramount. Lumberton, Ia
Der, and Whiteville.
North Carolina is one of the
principal tobacco-growing states
and also ranks high for its output
of manufactured tobacco, parti-
cularly cigarettes.
Last year tar heel farmers rails
ed nearly 293,5OO,O0O pounds Of
weed. The production for this year
has been estimated to reach 44I,-
$4,000 pounds, as compared with
the 5S1, ,O0O-pound bumper
crop record of 1880.
The states largest tobacco mar
kets, in the new bright belt, will
open August 2S. September 10
will see the opening of sales in the
middle belt. as the old bet will
come in on September rs.
The hurley season in the west
ern part Of the state, where recent
rains have materially increased
Nield. will omen later
The times-news. [volume] (Hendersonville, N.C.) 1927-current, 1933-08-10
5 Navy Aviators
Die AS Plane Falls
Single Occupant Of Plane
ESCAPES Death AT Sea

HONOLULU. T. f.. Aug. TO-
CUP). Five navy avitaors were
killed Wednesday when a large
plane crashed at sea and sub
merged a mile off Fort Wheeler.
The craft turned upside down
before striking the water, and
only one of the six occupants es-
capped death.
The victims were: E
Lieut.. 7. G.. Marshall.
Lieut.. C. p. Hill, pilot.
C. c. Stewart, aviation mechan-
lists mate.
V. C. Hovey, radio operator.
Seaman S. p Bit.
Machinists Mate NJ. A. Tuft, the
only one to escape, said the tail
surface material was torn off dur
ing flight, TINS (eaiiqasgi9Hlg the $hhip? to
iHSsS O'e'' &jrom f9sS aH',2sH& s.
The times-news. [volume] (Hendersonville, N.C.) 1927-current, 1933-08-10
{. {. BOARD TO .
MEET TONIGHT.
Plan Membership Drive
And Quarterly Dinner
Session

The directors of the Chamber
of Commerce will meet tonight in
the court room at the city hall
and after attending to routine
business will make plans for the
annual membership campaign and
quarterly dinner meeting.
The directors at their last
monthly meeting instructed their
secretary to compile list of pros
pects and have the membership
and finance committee recon-
mend plans for the campaign.
The directors attend to routine
matters and shape the policies OF
the organization at these monthly
meetings which arc open to all
members who desire to better &C
uuaint themselves with the affairs
of the organization.
The times-news. [volume] (Hendersonville, N.C.) 1927-current, 1933-08-10
Relief ROLLS
| IN j. S. FALL
elpkins Says Aid After
| All Is Governors Own
Problem

\ EASHlNGTON. Aug. 10 (UP)
Plors than 1880 American fam
les EFF relief rolls during July
IePors from Is representative
p showed yesterday.
Harry L. Houkins. federal re
q administrator. announced that
E0,75O families received char
"a support from federal ami
rs governments during laSO
arh compared 10 1,165,276 in
~ Relief expenditures de-
eaSed during the period from
4. Qs1, 6%9 20 $24,S01,S45.
he figures were regarded in
aa quarters as an indication OF
ta'OlragJng decrease in the num-
" Of unemployed. but Admins
Ita,or Hopkins remarked that re-
l. work throughout the country
z. was far from satisfactory.
Louisville Ky, registered the
hgsSt decrease in number of
antilles given relief, reporting
''05 obtained relief in July COM
aIed 10 2,5S4 in June.
New York. however, had 229,-
70 families on July relief rolls
na 2OS.9lO in the month prevl-
Is. Il spent $6,631,O00 for char
!, IN July compared to $7,629,-
y IN June.
.alCago'S federal and state re-
= money went to 100000 fam
Is last month and $4,000 fam
s the month before. with com
,,,allrc expenditures of S4,28O.,
W ami 4,753,OOO.
Inc greatest proportional in
ease IN charity expenditures
as as reported by Houston, Texas,
inch Used $148,996 in July u
lpoort ISIS families comparef
Eilo,770 in June for 10,91S
hopkins warned Texas i'm a tele.
'''n 10 Governor Ferguson tina;
would receive no further relief
sElancc from the government
..u 1t provides a substantial
are Of the money needed tc
IS Tor its unemployed.
Iop"ins said he thought states
,lId raise $E0O,0OO,0OO for the
~ Year to match a like amount
ing distributed by the fedora
'gernment.
I'm getting the reputation o.
ing a tough bird with thes,
a.gS' which is absurd" he re
a'kei. Pm sympathetic will
&c fellows, but, after all. the!
" "l'ea to be governors and the;
=, ,,e elected governors and this i
DOW. VI the things that is on theil
H r.-.E .a.a'- F-.-
The times-news. [volume] (Hendersonville, N.C.) 1927-current, 1933-08-10
WILL REMOVE
NRA EMBLEM
OF DISLOYAL
New Notifications OF The
Codes Are Made AT
Washington
MANY DEVELOPMENTS
IN DRIVE WEDNESDAY
By THOMAS L. STOKES
United Press Staff Correspondent

WASHINGTON. Aug. 10. (UP)
Hugh s. Johnson, ma
tional recovery administrator, an
nounced today lie would withdraw
the NRA blue eagle from retail
stores which attempt to Illustrate
President Roosevelt's re-employ-
ment agreement by various de-
vices to prevent employment Of
more workers.
Referring to reports of viola
ton which he said came from all
pats of the country, the admins
tration declared:
HThe insignia of the blue eagle
must be withdrawn from those
stores which either collectively or
individually flagrantly attempt to
Illustrate the purpose of the presi-
Dental unemployment agree
ment."
THAT agreement is solemn
covenant and it's purpose is ex-
plicit."
He listed the various devices
employed as Staggering employee
hours, enforcing rest periods, in
creasing the time for lunch with
out pay. or either directly or in
directly conspiring to defeat the
very purpose of the agreement by
materially shortening the number
of hours whicvh the store had GUS
tomarily stayed open"
Issuance of this warning was
but. one act in very busy day
for johnson. He started hearings
on a code for the bituminous coal
industry which he characterized
as "the most difficult industry
with which we have had to deal" "
Other developments included:
1. PRONUNCIATION Of temporary
code for the oil industry covering
wages and hours. The disputed
and complicated marketing and
price fixing isuses were left for
settlement in a permanent code.
2. Notifications Of the blanket
code bringing into the re-employ-
ment agreement hundreds of thOus-
ands of workers in barber and
beauty shops, photographers, retail
coal dealers. retail jewelry deal
ers, SAX and steel product plant
workers and copper and brass mill
3. A government boycott
against industries which do not
comply with the presidents recov-
cry program was started today
when director David E. Lilienthal
of the Tennessee valley authority
his agency would pur-
chase only from those who fly
the blue eagle.
4. Reports from As cities to Re-
lief Administrator Hopkins show
ed nearly $1,000 families removed
from relief rolls during July.
In warning of violations of the
retail code, Johnson said there
can be no misunderstanding" Of
the purposes of the blanket code
which is "to increase employment,
that is, to effect unemployment of
CONTINUED on page A.
The times-news. [volume] (Hendersonville, N.C.) 1927-current, 1933-08-10
Boy
Scouts In Camp

A Spartanburg Boy Scout
troop. No. 3, of Calvary Bap-
fist church there, passed through
here TODAY on its way to the
J. R. Holden farm at Horse Shoe
on Mills River, where it will
spend a ten day stay at Camp
Grant,
o. Wi H, Grant is, Scoutmaster Of,
this Funit,. 1t is. composed of
about % boys. .124,o7
The times-news. [volume] (Hendersonville, N.C.) 1927-current, 1933-08-10
COTTON YIELDS
BIG INCOME

NEW ORLEANS, Aug. To-.
(UP). Cotton now has the bright
est outlook in years. the annual
report of Secretary H. G.. Hester,
of the New Orleans Cotton Ex-
change, revealed today. Southern
planters pocketed s72,463,000
more for the 1928 crop than
for the crop of the year before.
The report shows the past sea-
sons crop brought 529,399,571
compared with s456,936.O55 the
year before with marketing $780,
854 bales higher. ..
The times-news. [volume] (Hendersonville, N.C.) 1927-current, 1933-08-10
CAPE FEAR TO GET
$1,OOO,OOO FACTORY

MIDLAND, Mich. Aug. TO-
(UP). Construction of a million
dollar plant to manufacture ethy-
lene dibromide from ocean water
will begin Immediately at Cape
Fear. N. c.. Dow Chemical COM
pany announced today.
The project, sponsored jointly
by Dow company and Ethyl Gaso-
line corporation will produce $780,
900 pounds Of dibromide used in
power gasoline each month.