The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1933-03-29

wrapped his IlOlIlB- GO-uOuIluS COdI
more securely about his impressive
girth, and walked to a window
Come here and look" he said.
That's Mt. Vernon place And what
you see III the middle of it is the
greatest damned monument ever
erected to the memory of Amer
icas first and only gentleman
George Washington Look further
See that smoke? That smoke is
from nine breWeries."
Longs for Japanese Bugles
The room was woefully mid-V Vic
torian. On the piano were a num-
Der of stuffed birds under a glass
bell.
This place belongs to my wife, "
Mencken said. The only thing in
here that belongs to me is that COL
lection of worries on the shelf.
They're made out of the skulls of
bishops.
But to get back to the American
people. I give them up as hopeless,
and begin to long for the bugles
Of the Japanese
so far as l am concerned per-
Sonally, 80 per cent beer is strong
enough. I seldom use alcohol with
any set intent to lose my wits, and
when such a mood seizes me 1 pre-
fer to use hard liquor and get the
business over with as quickly as
possible.
But there are other men who
like their beer to be stronger, and
1 believe that they should have what
they want 1t is an intolerable i'm
pudence for the government to
thrust it's Snout into such private
matters. The instant it does so it
becomes a tyranny and is the COM
mon enemy of all well-disposed men
It's Poor Beginning
1.-THE beer act is thus only a be-
ginning, and it seems to me to be a
pretty poor one. 1t retains the alb
surd principle that gang of pol
iticians are better able to decide
what l should drink or not drink
than I am myself
III deny it with my last breath
bowling from the electric chair. II
is a principle in fragrant and ire
concilable conflict with the bill OF
rights.
Nov these same prepoSterouS pol
iticianS propose to load beer with
heavy taxes. and so raise its price
and lower its quality. In other
words they propose to make it i'm
possible for the brewer who uses
honest malt and hops to sell his
product at fair price, and so they
give a great advantage to the
quack who uses substitutes.
The net result will be bad beer
at a high price. But the American
people, of course, will swallow il
with glad hosannas. They are glut-
tons for punishment.
Denies Right 20 Tax
why, indeed. should beer bt
taxed at ALL save as other mer.
chandiSe is taxed? Is it because
the government needs the money,
Then why doesn't it tax soft drinks
The real reason is that the notion
that drinking beer is comehow i'm.
moral still fingers.
If it were true, the government
would be debarred from taking {
beer tax, for taking it would bt
conniving at wickedneSS.
Many youngsters, Mencken said
have grown up since the dry ours,
came down on us, and most of then
90 not know how to use malt liquor
since they have been raised on gin.
He gladly offered his advice to thi!
rev generation.
Never Drink at Work
First" he said, never drink an,
beer. or indeed. any other alcoholic
drink, While any work is to be done
1t slows down the revolutions of tn,
psyche That is what it is for
Keep it until the evening. when Vol
want TO relax and forget you
troubles.
Second. never drink beer withou
eatingsomething with it. The nakec
stomach wall sucks up the alcoho
too fast, and the SLOW creeping
consoling effect is spoiled.
Third, don't try TO get it dowr
too fast. Leave that to college boys
whose minds are keyed up TO an in.
tolerably high pitch. The most re.
liable virtuosi recommends a tempC
OF one liter an hour. Let it be tina
or less
After a couple of hours, ALLOW
yourself a interregnum and take {
walk around the block Then vol
will be ready again"
$500 in Rings Are Stolen
Enllr diamond rims Va l,,od nt sooi