Evening star., 1933-09-11

</X you might adopt an orphan
~ Vernon Mabee'S friend sug-
gested, that is, of course, II
you don't want to have one
Of your own"
"The trouble with having an orphan
of your own is that you don't live To
enjoy it." Vernon pointed out. LAS
suggestor, Dodd. you've got two fiat tires
and ignition trouble"
We'll, you asked for advice on what
to do with your useless wealth, and ]
meet with the usual treatment given
to those who offer their services gratis
All get is gibe and jape. But I'm
long suffering and generous. In spite
of your ill-timed levity. I will 60 on
and elaborate my costly suggestion.
Don't adopt just an ordinary orphan
Adopt a girl orphan, and when she
grows up little she'll get rid Of your
money fast enough. Now last week
Mabel bought fur coat and two hats
to 20 with it and"
Hush, Dodd, I don't want to hear
your grouching about your wife's ex-
pense account"
That's what she says. But I've got
to talk to somebody about 1t. Besides
was only offering it to your attention
as a suggestion for your own consider
alton. One woman in the home solves
the problem of keeping the family
finances in circulation. Pass your Gig
arettes Thanks Why don't you buy
good brand? You know I dislike
these"
Dodd Speed may have continued talk
ing after that. Vernon did not pay
any attention. One could do that right
in the middle of one Of Dodd's CONVEX
sations and not really miss anything
Of importance.
Vernon Mabee was confronted by Q
problem which worries few men, name
ly, what to do with his useless fortune
and his, so far. equally useless life. It
had all been fun up to his twenty ninth
year, and he had enjoyed every min
| ute Of 1t. But he had not accomplished
| anything really worth mentioning, and
the idea of his uselessness rather an
| noyed him.
| He was the first of the Mabees who
had been too wealthy to have to work.
Before him they had been soldiers,
ministers, attorneys, miners, engineers,
adventurers, all useful or, at least, ac-
tive men. But Vernon's father had an
especial kind Of glue on his fingers.
Money stuck to him, nay gathered
around him. asking to belong to him.
It had started by marrying a wealthy
girl. whose fortune he refused to touch
until he had amassed an equal one on
together, for his parents were both dead,
made Vernon the master of an amount
of money seldom dreamed Of by any
outside of bootlegging circles.
And then, besides. as is usually the
case with very wealthy men, there was
the matter of romance. None had ever
| yet crossed Vernon's path. Affairs, yes,
but love, no. He doubted If there was
such thing, but he felt the need Of
something in his life to make it COM
| plete. And he wanted 1t to be some
thing that he had wrested from an un-
willing world by his two hands, or
words to that effect. He craved oppo-
sition. Up to the time of writing he
had not had any worth mentioning.
There was no use of having SO much
peace and comfort until a man was at
| least 70.
He had thought some Of abandoning
his identity and going West to be-
| come cow puncher or hobo, as cir
cumstances might indicate but he was
not good enough actor to do such a
thing seriously. You couldn't really get
| much kick out of hardship that you
might end any minute by sending a
collect telegram to your fiscal agent.
There had to be some incentive for q
man to get any benefit out Of the uses
Of Adversity. Vernon had an idea that
chaps in stories who relinquished their
homes, clubs and all creature comforts
to start out on an indefinite search
for adventure were lacking a sense Of
humor For an adventure to be real
it had to be one in which you had to
win, when failure meant the loss Of
everything you had-perhaps even life
There's Zest to the last throw of the
dice. but who gets much fun out of
risking white chip when you've got
hundreds of blue and yellow ones
stacked up in front of you?
Vernon would have given exactly one
half of the rest of his uneventful life
to be confronted by one single situa-
ton that he couldn't get out of by
writing check. In other words he was
smothered by too much civilization and
bade fair to- die Of 1t eventually.
The waiter brought the bill and Dodd
paid it.
THAT should have been mine" pro-
tested Vernon coming out Of his rev.
erie.
"Bosh! It doesn't really make any
difference which one of us pays. That
is one of our strongest bonds of friend
ship. There is never any question Of
one Of us sponging on the other"
But you have wife"
Ssh! This is my night to forget that
temporarily. What I spend on myself
is so infinitesimal that it doesn't cut
any ice."
when is Mabel coming back?" Ver-
non asked idly.
Probably tomorrow It depends on
how Ill her mother is
'Is there anything special you would
like to suggest doing with the rest Of
your evening or will you be satisfied
to come up to my apartment and have
drink and turn in
That's OK. with me- MabePs hor-
ribly jealous, as you know, and
wouldn't dare put on any kind Of a
party. can't lie to her when she begins
to cross-examine me; can't even make
the truth sound convincing, but I can
tell her that you and went to the
theater together, had bite to eat here
at the grill and slept at your place, and
I'll bet she won't be able to shoot more
than q dozen holes In my story
Married men," Vernon observed, "are
NAVY ORDERS