The Coolidge examiner., 1933-07-14
FABLE OF THE
FOUR MERGE
NARY MINXES
e
By GEORGE ADE
g. Bell syudicate.-wNU Service.


Licenses, there lived in an E. Flat
Town on the o. and A. II. Quar-
tette of NectarineS who had their
Pick of all the Valentines between
Padgett's Siding and Sumac Ridge
To look at the old Photographs of
them, one might suspect that they
were related TO Sis Hopkins, but it
must be remembered that in the
deadly Nineties. when even DorO-
thy was banged across the Brow
and had a New England Boiled
Dinner sewed on to her wide Hat,
the most ravishing Specimen of the
only attractive Sex looked as If she
had been dipped in something and
then dried in the Sun.
Now these fair Vestals were
named Lib and Min and Stel and
Jess, and 1t is of Interest to note
that away back nearly 80 years ago,
before the World had been reformed
into its present deplorable Fix, these
Maidens slept with one Eye open.
kept Tab on the Opposite Gender
and. In a General Way looked out
for Number one and the Blue
Ticket.
A good many Weepers will tell
you that previous to 1910. when a
Nice Girl was supposed to Faint If
anyone saw her ankles, every Mar
riage had a Background of True
Love and every Deb went looking
for Nobility of Character instead of
an AA1 Rating at the Commercial
Agency. If the Truth must come
out, full many a cold Calculation
was made beneath Poke Bonnet.
Weren't Too Ambitious.
Cleopatra knew how to put a
Crimp In a Check Book. When Sol
Omon began giving Presents to the
Queen of Sheba she never begged
him to stop because she was afraid
he could not afford 1t. Going a
little further back. the fuzzy gen
tleman who wore a Leopard Skin
bias, and naught else. always had
the Inside Track If his Cave was
stocked with fresh Pterodactyl Meat.
And. checking up on those Rela-
tives. can we not be certain that
the gimpy and enterprising Ape who
climbed the highest Palms and
brought down the milkiest Nuts
was the White Haired Papa of the
Jungle?
When the four Dulcineas out at
Musselwhite began to look around
for Feathers that could be used in
Nest. they were simply running
true TO form.
OF course it was a Yap Era and a
Dollar would go a long Distance,
whereas now il seems muscle bound.
The Village Belle who was get
ting ready to take a Buggy Ride
could hardly sleep a Wink the
| night before and at a Musical Of
fering the Folks in the Back Rows
would stand up to get a Peek at
the New Triumph of Mans Ingenu-
ity called the Saxophone.
The four conniving Cuties were
not looking for Millionaires. 1t was
no use trying TO creep up on Some
thing that wasn't there. Each OF
them merely wanted a Home with
a Front Yard TO 1t and a Hired
Girl and the kind of Duds that
would go with Silk Parasol
They were real Chums and used
to visit One Another and lie awake
far into the Night discussing their
foxy Plans for landing and string,
ing some Live Ones.
1t will ever be a Question in pick,
ing out the Envelope supposed tC
contain the Pay Check, whether il
Is wiser to spread the Bait for John
who already has Currency In the
Mitt or to troll for a hard Worker
who owns a set of Tools.
Lib was the first to take the High
Jump. After burning up many a
| ton of Anthracite Coal to keep the
Front Room warm through the Long
Winter Evenings, and holding Hands
until her fingers were Blue, she
finally picked out a large slow-mov.
ing Pachyderm with the very at.
tractive Name of Yves. She pinned
the Ribbon on him because he had
just come into 160 acres of good
Land. Other Improvements on the
| Same included a House with Scroll
Work around the Eaves and $500
worth of Lightning Rods on the
Barn
Ike No Piker.
Anyone who expects to live on
the Income from a Quarter Section
should be ready for a Diet of Rain.
water and Crackers. The net OF
that much Land. after paying Taxes
and making Improvements and Re
pairs, would not keep the average
Family in Bluing. Furthermore, any
time Congress gets too busy trying
to do something for the Farmer by
mere use of the Vocal Cords, any
good Fertile Tract is apt to be a
Liability instead of an Asset.
Yves thought he was rich but
he was sitting on the Front StoOp
of The Poor House. One cannot