The daily worker. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1924-1958, 1933-09-07
Another Heavenly Discourse

another HeuCeHty DISCOuTSe
columbus, Judas Iscariot, H. W.
Longfellow, Jefferson. Sam Gompers,
Flo Ziegfeld and Ambrose Bierce are
seated in heavenly saloon drinking
80 beer spiked with alcohol, and dis
cussing, of course, the Blue BuzZard)
Columbus wash my hands of that
whole continent. I used to think I
understood what 1t was all about
until this Mira came along. It's too
much Really, If I had my life to
live over again, I'd like to produce
musical comedies.
Flo Ziegfeld-You did, Oscar, you
did.
Ambrose Bierce-I used to hate it
because it was democracy. Now
that it is going Socialist think I
shall despise it more.
Sam Gompers-Nira isn't Socialism;
it's state capitalism. Let's be exact
in our definitions Andy. The So
cialists call it Socialism. just as they
used to call my A. F. of L. racket
labor union. But it all comes to the
same thing; it'll all in a spirit Of
good. clean fun and cooperation.
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (who
is deaf)-What's that?
Sam Gompers-I said cooperation;
C-O-hyphen-O-T
ongfellow-Good, good! I'm glad
to hear you say it. She's a sweet and
gracious person. and never failed to
paw seven per cent.
Gompers-Now who are you talk
ip~ about?
Longfellow - I'm disappointed in
nv grandson, dis
Jefferson getting back impatient
" to the subject)-What I'd like to
know is how can they guarantee to
unscramble Mira and go back to
democracy when the crisis is over?
Ziegfeld-Listen, Tom. you're much
too cerious. Be gay. be gay. It's a
New Deal, kid, see? Drink, don't
think.
jefferson ignoring American prog
ress, as incarnated in Flo)-What is
your answer, Sam?
Gompers - The future is simple
Washington is already getting the
people ready for big factI Mira
won't work. They say, because CAPT.
tai and labor won't make it work. So
what? So it's necessary to have
dictatorship. 1t will happen about
Christmas, when hard liquor comes
back.
Jeferson-And this donesn't appaIl
you. infuriate you? After 200 years
of blood and sacrifice for democracy,
to have it die like friendless beggar
in ditch? Shame, shame!
Gompers (winking at Flo) - Old
JEFF can't hold his gin no more,
grandma.
olumbus-Honest, 1 wish I'd never
seen the place. I wish I had opened
pizzeria restaurant in Genoa as my
daddy and nanny wanted me to.
Longfellow-This General Johnson
interests me. He has such sweet,
strong face, veritable cowboy
Christ. I hear he plays the fiddle.
Judas Iscariot (modestly)-If may
say word, I'd like to point out that
the truth lies between you. It's not
to be dictatorship, or even state
capitalism, but a functional democ-
racy, in which the community regu-
lates industry for the good of all.
Really new deal-a blending of the
best features of capitalism and So
cialism.
Jefferson (uneasily)-By the way, 1
don't mean to be rude, but who is
this gentleman? I've never seen him
before. Things are getting queer
again; it reminds me of the first world
war, when never could walk step
without being trailed by an angelic
spy from the Department Of Heaven
ly Justice.
Gompers (smacking Judas bluffly
on the sholder)-Oh, he's all right,
JEFF, one of my lieutenants in the
labor movement.
Judas-The name is Lewis, John
l.. Lewis.
Jefferson (still wary)-Uh, huh.
Ziegfeld-They have even forced
code on the chorus girls. How times
change! The girls used TO be glad
to work for me without hat, shirt,
underwear, let alone code.
Bierce fainting)-Wow! plml
CRecovers) Where am +? Everything
seems strange.
Jefferson (moodily)-rt u strange.
Gompers-Hell, why worry What
ever they call it, well always sur
vive, won't we, Judy7
Judas--I would say 30, a and the
Lippmanns.
Columbus First I discover the
thing, then 1t turns around and bites
me in the stock market.
Judas-Gentlemen, If I may put in
modest and judicial word, / would
suggest that we wait and see. How
can we tell what Mira will do2 Why
should we anticipate trouble months
ahead? Why oppose 1t? Why not
give 1t a chance?
Jefferson-The Socialists did that
with Won Hindenburg.
Judas-But that was Germany In
America your tradition is too firmly
rooted ever to be in danger, Mr.. JEFF
ferson.
Jefferson (moodily) What did you
Wy your name WASP
Judas-Judge Jacob Penken, at
tour service.
Longfellow tmusing aloud They
vi Of them have such strong, sweet,