The Coolidge examiner., 1933-07-14

Ambition. Initiative and deadly Res.
olution. Except when he was in a
Pool Game.
Everything was Jake and rosy
with the Couple as long as they
could borrow on the Real Estate.
but now the Farm belongs to the
Hired Hand and Yves is Floor
Walker in a Grocery Store, while
Lib Bakes Cakes for Parties.
Just to show you that there is
nothing in Dope, it may be related
that Min fell into the arms of Ike
after making sure that his Share of
the Estate would be about $1,000.
Well, the Wiz who ran a Tooth-pick
into Lumber Yard and Mr.. Heinze
starting with only one Pickle, were
timid Pikers compared to or with
Ike. He took his little Hunk OF
Dough up to the City and made
a First payment on some North
Shore property and then Sold
enough Lots to pay for the Land
and had over 5000 lots left, which
is some figuring. no matter what
you say. He and Min now spend
most of their time in Travel and
are scared pink all the while that
some one will sneak the Jewel
Case containing S125,000 worth of
Gems Suitable for large Lady who
never had SILK next to the Skin un-
til she was 80 years of age. They
are very unhappy.
George 3. Shaw must have sized
up the Human Menagerie through
many Years before he invented that
startling Catch Phrase, you Never
Can Tell" When Stel threw her
self away on Silent ST who worked
at the Grain Elevator, 1t was the
Verdict for Miles around that she
had been guilty of a prize Boner
Because he said little, most Of the
Town Folk thought he was a DUN.
fuddle.
Ball of Fire Upsets the Dope.
1t was not generally understood
in Musselwhite that anyone ever cut
out Idle Chatter so as to devote
more time to Thinking. Stel had
been keeping Cases on him and she
figured that he was doing some
thing with the Bean besides using
it as a support for a Derby Hat, SC
| she crossed her Fingers and took the
big Gamble.
1t is now a matter of History that
81 became such an Expert Account.
ant that finally he owned the Eleva
tor and then began to touch up the
Market Wire and finally moved
right into Chicago and became one
of the most audacious, unscrupu
lous and neryy Hounds that ever
wore horn-rimmed Glasses and
dealt from the Bottom of the Deck
They are very proud of him, back
in the Old Home Town, and will
| tell you that Stel and he live in
a very exclusive and restricted Dis
trict which bars out ColOred Peo
| pie and Apartment Houses. They
have a Japanese servant, and both
have been to the Mayo Institute
than which nothing could be more
! so.
If any of the Locals ever raise
a Question as to how he acquired
the princely Bank Roll, some one
speaks up and asks, "Well, he's go
it. amt he" What more could bt
said even though Chapters were de
voted to the subject.
1t was the candid opinion of the
Wise Men Of Main Street, back IL
the Glorious Days of Free Silver
that j. Percival Trigwiltz was thu
coOniest and cleverest kit of th'
whole gOsh-blame Kit. No matter
what anyone said to him he wa
right there with the snappy Come
Back. Keener than mustard ant
/
nothing got past him except Light
ming. When Jess fell for Perce 1
was agreed that she had a littl,
Ball of Fire who would cut som'
Streak.
He is now putting out One Sheets
for the Movie Theater but he is still
very good at Repartee when any
one duns him. Possibly the ]. Per
cival has held him back thes'
Years, but Jess still has Confidence
in him because when it comes t.
delivering Laundry Work after sh,
gets it all done up. he is absolutel!
Trustworthy and always know
where he can borrow a Wheelbar
row.
MORAL: After talking with th'
Neighbors and consulting a For
tune Teller. go ahead and use you
own judgment.