Smyrna times., 1933-03-01
ABOUT TOWN
By-Jay Dee

FOf the last SIX IlOQlIlS nave
been reading reports in the papers
of the recurrence of mid-victor-
ian styles in everything from cloth
es to modes of living. Then all the
girls in the know started to believe
/ it to the extent of wearing those
puffed sleeves and billowing skirts.
1t looked swell, and was so i'm
pressed by it that I was beginning
to fall into the spirit and become
gallant -doffing my hat with a
low, sweeping furnish and gently
kissing the back of fair hands.
There are innumerable kinks in my
back from bowling profusely to
passers-by, not to mention char
lie-horse from practicing the min
uet. 1 was so sure that the roman
tic age was coming back that a
pair of old dueling pistols were
busted off and aimed at foes in the
form of tin cans. Came the big
disillusionmentl Last Wednesday
one of our young men about town
ended all speculation and betooK
himself and his fair one to the al
tar. Beautiful visions of tenderly
holding hands under the solitude
and quiet of a shimmering moon;
visions of foaming steeds galloping
\ to rose-covered retreats: All be-
/ loved, alone at last. What ro-
nance Instead, he hustled her in
to the f1ivver and gaily galavanted
her to the cinema. Even that
might not have shaken me, but the
title of the picture was: That's Ny
Boy" Sophistication supreme! No
more graceful fiurries past the
ladies, no more desire to avenge
wronged honor in a duel to the
death. When I meet by bitterest
enemy, I no longer stride stately
by with a naughty 'Bide We well,
but slouch by muttering: Ayah,
mug! Well, possibly the young
man had the right idea after all.
At any rate I wish him and his
bride all the happiness possible in
this unromantic world, but if any
one doesn't join me in this wish, I
might still polish the sabers to set
tie the insult.
Daily I have had to listen to the
varied speculation, argument and
debate among the younger folks
about the Black Cat dance Cur
ious myself, I got some facts. Guy
Lombardo is Not going to be there
on the opening night. According
to Mr.. Engel, who happens to own
the place, Rudy Valee will have the
honor Of waving the baton On the
opening night Of Delaware's larg
est dance floor Lombardo was Of
fered $1,000, but his contract inter
fered. For that amount of money
I would break a contract with the
President and play the oboe in Ice
land all on the same day. The
dance hall itself is worth seeing;
from the inside it is a twin to the
believe that, consider that it will
comfortably hold $500 persons on
the floor alone, not to mention the
amount of population you could
stuff into the two lounges and the
balcony. Some day I'm going in
practically alone and just spread
In last weeks Times there was
the article about the unfortunate
man who was nearly crushed to
death by a huke oak that was be-
ing felled One of Life's most aw-
full experiences is to stand helpless
under an immense bulk that is
roaring down on you. You stand
speechless with a strangling horror,
and your legs are rooted to the
ground with agonizing fear. Age
less seconds before the actual
laundering roar of the impact you
can feel the bones of your body
snap like so much tinder. All you
can do is to wait for utter and
complete destruction. I happen to
know, because in fit of youthful
folly, long ago, 1 took Raymond
Pusey on in a wrestling match.
For weeks 1 looked like a barrel
stave, and even today L can still
gaze upon the hole in the ground
which lies in mute evidence as a
monument to my downfall.
This is for the benefit of the man
who sold me those fresh strawber-
les. Mister, those Strawberries
wouldn't have been fresh until April
had they lived. 1 had to eat two
lemons to get back to normal.
:. Of the hundreds of letters that
were written to me last week, only
one of them was not lost in the
mail. 1t was written by a pre-
sumably charming young lady who
signed herself: Une Bonne Femme,
Among other things she remarked
that l would look cute as the devil
in Bavarian shorts, leg mufflera
and short socks. Lady, I've worn
that outfit, and it laid 'em in the
aisles. You should see me in a
bathing suit-it slays 'em. Ring