Smyrna times., 1933-03-08
ABOUT TOWN
By-Jay Dee

ed it up in grand style until there
wasn't whoop left in the crowd.
In fact they all would have appre-
ciated a bit of equilibrium when it
was time to go home. One of the
boys was very particularly anxious
none of his family know that he
had slipped the laughing waters.
He decided to be extremely eau
tious as far as the squeaking doors
were concerned in fact he had his
secret entrance all planned. Every
thing was bit hazy, but what's a
little fog in his young life. Sweet
Adaline! Show Me the Way to Go
Home! Everything would have
been all right ordinarily, but there
was a fly in the ointment. You
should have heard him tell this
it was a panic. He got the front
door opened, and without turning
on the lights, tip-toed across the
floor. Suddenly his stomach decid-
ed to stage a little revolution of its
oWn--the war was on. Running to
the first door he came to, he ripped
it open and dashed-into the china
closet. The crash could be heard
in a radius of three miles, and if
you can imagine the silly look on
his face, you are better man than
I, Horatio.
Went to party the other night,
and during the course of events the
hostess told us we were to play
ping-pong. The nearest thing to it
I had ever tried was throwing moth
balls at the teacher in school, Un-
daunted, grabbed fap-jack with
a handle on it and viciously swung
at the little white thing coming at
me. caught it smack in the eye
my eye. The next one caught
me in the other eye, and from then
on swatted stars, comets, and
celluloid rocks. People think that's
fun-Pd rather be run over by a
truck. My partner just laughed
and laughed because he knows he
pings mean pong, and was just
a sucker.
One of the boys about town is all
a-fiutter about a sweet little girl in
Newark. Just casually mention her
name and his blood-pressure is
alarming. She took him to dance
not so long ago, and when it was
all over, they had swell argument
ending with the return of all the
various trinkets. Now the lad is
sick plain sick. The world is a
heck of a place to live in, after all.
Picks you up and tosses you down
none too gently. He was told to
cheer up-that there were plenty
of fish in the sea, but he sadly re-
lated that the last one got his bait.
This takes the cake for the
weeks meanest deed. One of the
towns little hellers went to the
country to visit his deaf Aunt
Agatha. Not being content with
substituting pepper for her snuff
and letting her almost sneeze her
self to death, he poured hot soup
in her ear horn while she was list
ening to the weather forecast. He
shouldn't have done that, hot soup
cracks the paint.
There are some swell tales being
whispered about the members of
our otherwise nice school. Sorry /
can't repeat some things, but our
iii Maggie looks worried.
One of the towns bellies told me
not SO long ago that she was in love,
and she looked it, Now that is all
past, and there is some resem-
blance to her old self. Very SYM
pathetically, asked her what was
the matter even going to the
trouble Of squeezing her hand as
one does at a funeral. asked if
love had flown, and if there was
any way I could show my sym
pathy. All got was sneer, and:
II wasn't in love, was only hum
cry" Moral: You can live on love,
but food is more satisfying.
The depression wasn't bad
enough, so they had to close the
banks, too. That's what 7 call
smearing it on. A young man
about town bought a Ford not so
long ago (ffteen more payments
and it's his). Digging into the
family larder, he managed to send
the finance company a check COW
ering the specified amount. Yes
terday, he got the check back with
the statement that the banks were
closed and that the company was
unable to handle it. Would he
please send cash. The young man
was so fiattered that he sent a
bunch of violets to the man in
charge of collections. Imagine
anyone having cash.
That reminds me. The lack of
funds is severely noticed by the
young gallants who like to buy
sundaes for their darlings. The
other day someone overheard one
of the boys in front of Snaps ask