The Coolidge examiner., 1933-04-28
The Fable of
Stationary
Touring
By GEORGE ADE
O. Bel syndlcaJe--WNU service.

always pldNNlHS 10 ME 10 lIe lar
away Show-Places. These two did
a lot of Summer Travelling early
every Spring. They never had been
10 Europe or the White Mountains
or Yellowstone Park except by lis
tening to Burton Holmes and read
ing Folders, yet they had a Knowl'
edge of Geography which was a
great Help when they tackled
crOSs-eyed Puzzle.
Probably no one in the World
knew more about Beauty Spots
which they had failed to visit If
they were well informed regarding
Switzerland and the Golden Gate
aud the Piney Woods. ii was be-
cause they had dreamed about them
with so much regulatory. They had
been all over the Map without put
ting Nick in the Letter of Credit.
Next to picking out Pearl Neck
lace in a Show Window and then
walking rapidly up the Street, this
Chautauqua Method of visiting Afrl
ca by Proxy and going to the Medl-
terranean by reading the Ads in the
Sunday Paper, is probably the least
expensive of all Designations.
IL just seemed as If the Dande.
lions and the Puss-Willows and the
hopping Robins, all of them Har-
bingers Of Spring and gay Advance
Agents for glorious Summer, seemed
to work on the Sangwlns and pro-
duce Form Of emotional Squifiies.
You could bank on il that every
Vernal Equinox, about the Time for
changing from Heavy to Light. Mr.
Sangwin would look out on a new
Crop of tender Leaflets, basking in
the Sunshine. and remark. with an
Air of Finality. No two Ways about
It. I'm going to arrange my Affairs
80 we can 20 Somewhere this Sum.
mer."
Everything Sitting Pretty.
"Attaboy :" the Good Wife would
exclaim. She was glad to know that
al last they would cut out the Stall
ing and take long, dandy Trip. She
had everything doped for the Get
away. Clarice could be sent to visit
her Aunt Loretta In Springfield.
Robert was old enough To be placed
at Summer Camp for Boys, and
she had the Address of one recon-
mended by the Higginses. The
Gentleman who moved the Lawns
and manicured the Porches could be
installed In the Room above the
Garage as a Caretaker. and the
Oldest Clancy girl could come over
and give the House good Airing
every few days.
Not 10 be outdone in the Matter
OF painful Preparations. the other
Half of the Sketch would then ex-
plain how he had been organizing
Things down at the Office until the
Business was practically running
itself. He said that He, Himself.
that is to say, Mr.. Sangwin. was the
only One connected with the She
bang who was worth Hoot when
il came to dealing with an Emer-
gency or facing AN important Crisis,
but he would have the Routine laid
out so that even his Associates.
with their ossitied Turrets and Sec
ondary Intelligence. could worry
along or else consult him by Cable
Everything seemed to be Sitting
Pretty. Stimulated by the Coffee.
and with the Ham and Eggs be-
tween them, they would build
Castles In the Air which made the
Equitable Building look like
WOodman's Hut. Before Mr.. Sang
win left the House they would have
their Tickets bought and be walking
up the Gangway, bound for Europe.
Romance and Adventure.
Many and many a crowded Hour
did Mrs. Sangwin devote TO the
bliSsful Task of picking out the
Liner on which they would plough
across the Atlantic. Without ever
seeing the Ocean, she came TO know
more about Vessels than any one
on the Shipping Board ever knew.
She wrote to every Company and
got Bales of Printed Matter includ-
ing diagrams, indicating all of the
siaterooms, Social Hall. Life Boats,
Dining Saloon. Tunnels, Drink Par
lors, etc, etc. These had TO be
spread out on the Floor and she
would devote happy Days to fussing
over the Layout and trying to de
eide where they would have their
Steamer Chairs placed. She and
Friend Husband had quite Run-In
over the Eating Arrangements. He
wanted 10 take the Regular Meals
and she wanted TO go to the Ritz
Carlton Restaurant because she had
read in the Papers that Constance
Bennett and the Marquis and Charley
Schwab always had small Tables in
the Cafe instead of patronizing the
main Gorge.
A Couple Of Obstacles.
When the Time came, they were
eating Cold Snacks in their own
Dining Room. You see. when they
made all of their elaborate Plans
for going over and turning the East
ern Hemisphere inside out. Mrs.