Evening star., 1933-12-10
Clubs Annual Dinner Ends on
High Note of Spending
Low Dollars.
Continued From First Page.)

of a pawnbroker'S sign. AT the end
were larger standards, one bearing the
letters l. o. u, the American Tax
payer. minus his clothes and clad only
in barrel, and finally an S. o. S.
Comes the Gold Skit.
The gold skit which preceded Pres
ident RooSeveltS speech began with a
conversation between Silenus Fishef
and King Midas Warren, in which the
latter discovered his power to turn
everything he touched to paper.
Nov / am an expert" he shouted
to fool with. I would do things to
peoples, to nations, to the world! l will
turn the universe to paperP
AS American financiers and Treasury
experts approached, Silenus suggested
that ne start tinkering with the United
States.
The chorus sang:
Where OH where is Mister Woodin?
Safe now with the creditor class.
Where. oh, where is sprague Of Har-
ward?
Safe now with the creditor class.
They've gone out from the compen-
SdU6Q QOlldT,
Safe now with the creditor class.
Morgenthau On Griddle.
Henry Morgenthau, jr. was selected
from the American flnanciers and pre-
sented to King Midas Warren as
one who learned about Government
finances just where you did, down on
the farm whereupop Morgenthau sang:
Just a field of new-mown hay,
Where the Statisticians play,
Just a formula to shield me from all
harm,
Where the propaganda grows,
And the chart blooms like the rose,
Just dear old-fashioned country home,
down on the farm.
rs your name Morgenthau?" asked
Midas.
Yes"
Senior or junior?"
Eyes"
rs yours the brain that is in charge
of the fiscal policies of the United
States?"
Yes"
You sound as if you had studied
Under me at Cornell"
Eyes"
King Midas Warren turned to the
other characters
He isn't quite bright, is he? All ne
can say is yes"
It's Just a little impeachment in his
Speech" declared Silenus Fisher He
Issued a gag order for the press, but
the gag slipped into his own mouth"
Yes" said Morgenthau, and then
catching himself. beloved loudly. no"
Gentlemen. silence!" shouted ST.
lenus. THE hour of 9 am. having ar
rived, the moment has come when the
experts will go into session to fix the
price Of gold on the planet Mars. ST.
lence for the Emperor Jones'
Gold Price Is Fixed.
There were some low chords on brass
from the Marine Band. A deep bell
rang AL on the stage knelt as the
Emperor Jones strobe majestically in.
One held up large brass box. An
washers. The emperor threw the wash
ers into the brass box. Facing to the
front, he shouted
'Thirty-seven dollars and fifty-three
milreis."
There was a big cheer and some one
remarked
Whoever thought that when Jesse H.
Jones built a wooden stadium to nomi-
nate Alfred E. Smith in 1928 he would
become financial dictator Of the uni
verse under Franklin D. Roosevelt in
1882"
As the DemostheneS from Oklahoma,
Senator Elmer Thomas, entered, an
other sololst and chorus sang:
Net for all the oil in Tulsa,
Not for all the francs in France,
Would / exchange the pleasure
That get from every measure I
advance.
Not for all the loot in Wall Street,
Not for all the bull in Spain,
Would give up imitation for the Nation,
Though I'm driving it insane.
Not for all the silver in Nevada,
Or the speeches that I make on the
Hill,
Would exchange that first thrill
That it gave me.
Not for all the trumps in contract,
Not for all the queens in chess,
Would I agree to hesitate, annihilate
or interrupt
The printing press!
Scribe Baruch Presented.
Croesus entered-Bernard M. Baruch
Identified as once leading Democrat,
but now just a contributor to the Satur-
day Evening Post. That led to song.
"Silver Threats Among the Gold"
The profits of farming in l953-"the
twentieth year of the reign of Roosevelt
the Iiberator depicted in skit
called Way Down on the New Deal
Farm" 1t gave a graphic representa-
,0f g itr,at nf
1929 by showing the farm family din
ing in full evening dress after an aver
age working day of hours and As
minutes, while a city cousin, let in by
the butler, clamored for urban relief
and threatened to stop all traffic.
The farmers daughter ran off and
married a wheat bootlegger because she
Loved the handsome devil" while Sec
retary Wallace and Agricultural Ad-
justment Administrator Peek arrived
TO check up on the allotments. 1t was
discovered that for this farm they
were as follows:
Wheat, IL acres in cultivation, 273
Withdrawn from cultivation, Govern
ment rental naid, S7,405. Corn, 5
acres. l26 withdrawn, benefit paid,
S2,3l6 Hogs, l SOW, pigs, production
decreased ia, benefit paid, 1926.
M1ScehaAeouS crop ana STOCK DeneIltS,
$l,845. Total benefits paid by Gov
eminent to this farm, Sl4,862."
mot bad for the new deal, eh?" COM
mented Peek. ~- --e'-.
MY good man, no wonder beef
steak is So pound" seconded the city
cousin
The efforts of the N R. A. to crack
down" on Henry Ford were depicted
in an "Alice in Wonderland" trial of the
Knave Of Tin by His Majesty, Hugh
johnson, King Of Crackers; Her Maj
esty, Mira. Queen of Codes, and jury
of Blue Eaglets. The trial was opened
by song by the jury:
Let's all sing like the brides sing,
Twee, twee twee, twee twee!
N. r. A. better times will bring
Tee, hee hee, tee hee!
Let's all sing the Blue Eagles song