The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1933-01-19
Fable of the Cor
rupting Influences
g
By GEORGE ABE
: %. Bell syndicate.)-wNU Service.

many Mortals wander from the
Straight and Narrow and run afOul Of
the Law. Instead of investigating
the Miracle of Anyone complying with
All of the 5000 harsh, restrictive
Measures passed by mushhead Legis-
latOrs during the last Ten Years, he
elected to prepare wise Magazine
Article and point out the particular
and definite Causes of Delinquency.
So he went to a Jail where lot Of
hardened Offenders were Gagged up
and proceeded to quiz them and get
their Life Histories and find out why
they had turned out to be Tough Nuts
instead of respected ROtarians.
In the first Call he came across a
rather good-looking Young Chap who
wore a Blue Sweater and was pulling
at a loud-smelling Fag and seemed
rather bored, not to say annoyed, to
find himself under such unpleasant
Duress.
"What have they got on your" asked
the Scientific Researcher.
"They say I'm Stick-Up Guy and
Hijacker, but I've been Framed" was
the courteous Reply. whenever any
thing rough is pulled the Bulls have to
hang it on to some Patsy with a
Record. I happened to come along
and they pinched me-"
Humble Beginnings.
II should like to inquire as to the
Circumstances leading up to your pres
'ent unhappy Predicament," said the
Investigator. "Tell me something
about your Environment during the
Formative Period"
81 came of an Outfit that was hard
boiled" replied the Juvenile Crook.
1.-THE Old Man was Bar Fly and all
the Training ever got from him was
to keep my Guard up and duck Right
Hand Swings. Mothers Conception
of keeping House was to put Some
thing on the Stove and let it boil for
Hours and Hours while she read Love
Stories to be continued in our Next.
AS YOU know, a Woman who is keep
ang Track of dozen Serials dealing
with the Divine Passion and the Eter-
nal Triangle, cannot spare any Time
for her Family. We lived in q Dump
back of the Switch Yards. I did not
see Tree until l was Eight but I
owned a pair of trained Dice when I
was Six. No one ever gave me any
Moral Guidance.
My first definite Ambition was to
1y;l m Mot Cot
while l was in Grammar School and
! learned in the Police Court that I
was a Gangster. Since then / have
been arrested every time I spit. Now
I'm booked for a Stretch just because
! went out for an Automobile Ride
with some Buddies who had sawed-Off
Shotguns in the bottom of the Car, to
be used in Case they were interfered
with"
Exactly as l surmised," said the
Visitor. You are the Innocent Victim
of Heredity and Evil Influences. The
only Reason our Malefactors want to
Malefact is that they have been denied
access to the ethical Refnements Of
Modern Civilization"
The next Inmate to claim the At
tention of the Seeker after Truth
needed only a Clean Shave and a
White Tie to make him look like the
Valedictorian at first-rate TheO-
logical Seminary. 1t seems that he
had been yanked up for Swindling,
Fol gerry and Hitting Checks. He
looked as honest as Henry Ford and
his Blue Eye was very candid and the
Investigator knew that here was
Bird who would have gone Straight
If he had been given a Chance.
The Big Reason.
"Was your Male Parent Soak or
did he just go on Bat once In a
iWhile?" asked the Student of Grim
,lnology.
Father never put his Nose into
anything harder than Buttermilk,"
was the Reply. "He had Side-Whis-
lkers hanging straight down, passed
the Contribution Basket and is said
to have been the first Reformer to hit
upon that Happy Expedient known as
the Eighteenth Amendment"
"Then we must hang it all on your
mother. To what kind of FrivOlity
was she addicted that she should have
failed to keep Tab on the Offspring"
you are not guessing well today.
The dear old Mater lectured to Clubs
on the Training of Youth. She came
of Massachusetts Family which
smelled of Harvard for over a Gen.
fury. She and Dad were the intel
'lectual Arc Lamps Of the Town in
which was coached for the Ministry.
They had me tutored so that I would
not come in contact with the Foreign
Spawn in the Public Schools. 1 was
the Prize Exhibit Of our Sunday
School and sat in the Lap of every
Prominent Lady in our State. 1t took
them two Years to pick out a College
good enough for me. could show
you my Phi Beta Kappa badge IL I
hadn't hooked 1t In Omaha.
eff you were given the Advantage
of every sweet and uplifting Infiu-
ence, am at Loss to understand why
you turned out to be Hotel Beat and
floated Phoney Paper and now have
seven or eight Aliases"
"If you won't let it go any further,
I will put you Hep" said the Prls-
nner. II needed the Money"