The Coolidge examiner., 1933-04-14

accordingly. George could have
played Eighteen Holes with one of
her Soda Biscuits. 1t was truly
said of her that she could not boil
Water without giving 1t a ScOrched
Taste. But she could tear the Lin.
ing out of Tosti's Goodbye"
For a long time they couldn't af-
ford Swede and ii was during this
period when the Little Woman was
tying to turn out Angel Food which
could be cut with a Knife instead
of Pair of Scissors. that Mr.. Eat
more and his alimentary Side-Kick
earned couple of Carnegie Medals
for Heroism. You say that Any
body can make Tea. Even a man.
Well, Sweetie could do something
to it which made it taste like Sheep
Dip. And not the best Quality OF
Sheep-Dip at that.
Every Known Variety Of Chow.
At last the Sun of Prosperity be-
gan to shine on the Eatmores and
they had Lot of Servants. They
had only Two at one Time, but they
had lot in the course of Year.
The cOlored Mammies would pre-
pare everything Southern Style,
while the Transients imported from
Ireland favored Corned Beef buried
In Cabbage. and several who had es-
capped from Germany to avoid Mill
tary Service put Caraway Seed in
every Wand and then laid a Dill
Pickle on top OF 1t. Just when the
Gullet thought II had transported
every known variety OF Chow. along
would come a pleasing Novelty. such
as Raviola. or Tripe with Apples
chopped up in 1t, or Olives
stuffed with Torpedoes, or Hun
garian Goulash. or Chicken Livers
wearing Festoons OF Garlic, or
Gutta Percha Pudding dashed with
Shellac. or the seductive Alligator
Pear swimming in the Lubricant
which you see advertised In every
Filling Station.
When a good Doctor goes over
Man he always listens TO the Heart.
Sooner or later Science will devise
a Dingus which will enable Doc to
listen to the Stomach and in that
Event the Specialists will get many
an Earful. For instance, the Stom.
ach which accompanied Mr.. Eat
more could have written quite
a large volume on Unexpected
Guests"
Not until George became a Prom
inent Citizen and began TO attend
Formal Dinners did he put his Di-
gestion to the Supreme Test. and
start In to lean heavily on Ri-Car-
Donate OF Soda. We are referring
TO the Age OF Gustatory Miracles
when every Diner-Out found an Ex-
hibit OF Glassware in front OF his
plate and was supposed to fly at
every kind of red. white and blue
Fluid during the prolonged Battle
with the heavy Courses. A real
Dinner, in the old days OF cheap
Liquor and the deadly Toast List,
made Belchazzar's Feast look like
a Cafeteria Snack. The Boys had
to get into a State OF Coma In or
der to put up with the Speeches.
When Mr.. Eatmore took his Stom-
ach away with him after one OF
these three-hour Feeds he didn't
have to be told that his Stomach
was present. He would throw II
little Pepsin and tell II TO behave.
During all his years of Alimentary
Acrobatics. George never took any
Blame on himself. He would curse
his Stomach and feel that he was
the Injured Party.
Late this Season Mr.. Eatmore
was entertained a great deal by
Friends who had Pre-War Stuff. II
was made before the War between
Hoover and the Senate. At the
Hospital he told the Nurses and
Everybody that 1t was Gastritis.
The Stomach had no opportunity
to speak up and say 81 went into
the Ring once too often"
AS some of his old-time Associates
were driving back from the Gene
terry they removed the Black Gloves
and said they couldn't understand
why George had to check in at the
Early Age of 62. because the Old
Scout certainly had taken the Best
of Care of himself at all Times.
MORAL: One may listen TO a