The Coolidge examiner., 1933-07-07

Connoisseurs who date back to the
Era Of Congress Caters and f. p.
Roe. These two Prints were called
Fast Asleep" and wide Awake"
and in turning them out the Printer
used what COlOrs he had the most
of. The First showed a curly-haired
Tot In deep Slumber and the Sec
Ond revealed the same blue-haired
Infant sitting up and laughing gayly.
The only Note of Sadness in these
famous Specimens of Pictorial Art
was Occasioned by the Fact that
the Child had a bright Red Spot on
each Cheek. suggesting a possible
Temperature of 102 and indicating
that the Little One was already
claimed by tuberculosis.
1t was during his Undergraduate
Career that Orville began to take
his Music seriously. Not until he
learned the Possibilities of the Gut
tar and could execute "Sebasto-
pol" The Spanish Cavalier" and
Star of the Evening" did he find
in the Higher Type of Composition
the Solace and Uplift which are de
rived from any good Book of In
structions.
For the first time the hidden
Beauties of THE Bohemian Girl"
were revealed to him. Il was
Far Cry from "Jaybird" to The
Battle Of Prague" but he was des-
tined to climb higher.
He got his first half-NelsOn on
what is really Hot Stuff after he
moved to the City and married a
Lady who had been taking Chau-
tauqua Courses until she couldn't
hold any more. She was out TO Cap
Death. Ii was She who put him
next to Van Dyck. Rembrandt, Bou-
guereau and COrot. Up to the time
he met Minnie he had always sup
posed that velasquez was the Name
of a Cigar.
Col. Bogie of the Art Course.
About the time she first put the
Halter on him and led him to the
Art Institute. he might have been
seen in a Parquette Seat on Fri
day afternoon. with a Funny look
on his Face, trying to keep up with
a Symphony in Q Minor. During
this quick-change Period. while he
was in breathless Pursuit of Italian
Opera and the modern Dutch School,
he got to be an awful Liar. When
ever he was asked II he liked
Something he would always answer
Yes"
Minnie started in to get all of
the Paisley and Atwater out Of
Orve's System. 1t was a hard Tussle
to convince poor GOurd-Head that
Tunes are vulgar while Fugues are
something to be enjoyed rather than
endured.
To this Day. Orville will begin
buying Tickets for the Vanities as
soon as Minnie leaves Town. but
while she is in the Watch Tower he
Is letting on to be worried because
there are so few performances of
Die Walkure" during the Grand
Opera Season. A lot of well-to-do
People have nearly starved to Death
in recent Years because they
couldn't get their Wagner.
Orve can now pronounce the
Names of most of the Pieces played
by the Philharmonic Lads who wear
Specs and to prove that he is
True Lover he buys Tickets for
Everything. Little do those whc
hear him touting 'Gotterdamerung"
suspect that at one time he put
Resin on his Thumb so that he could
pick the G-string for Hours at a
Time.
He has gone so far in Art that
sometimes he finds ii difficult to
keep up with Himself. Every kind
of Landscape is Trash and Pre-
Raphaelitism is something that he
had and got well of. But he can
never interpret Cubist Puzzle even
when the Darn Thing is held upside
down. And that. we take it, is about
two strokes better than par.
MORAL: Unless Heaven has been
done over lately. both the Choir and
the Golden Ornaments are going to
be criticized.