davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1933-03-29
Sham SuSpenders

BY Angela Mathus
IN regard. to the article pub
l. lished on The Times front
page March 6, how many citi-
zenS, plain and otherwise, are
aware of the rare personality of
Miss Terrence, teacher, who is Of
so fine clay, so delicately senSi-
tive, that the sight Of suspenders
causes her to send child home
to doff the Ubiquitous things and
don a belt?
The parents of this child have
been culpably negligent in per-
hitting their child f1agrantly to
so outrage the fine feelings of his
teacher, also perhaps permanently
demoralizing the other pupils.
This teacher says, IF 1 taught in
a district where it was necessary
for the boys not to wear coats
because they did not have them,
I might have to put up with the
sight of suspenders in my class
room"
Now let us all, as a sound, SEN
sible citizenry, unite in sparing
this lady the awful ordeal of
having to put up with the sight
of suspenders." We want our
children trained in courtesy, kind
ness, simplicity and civic pride.
So let us all unite in placing suS-
penders under the BAN
Down with suspenders-all hail
to the belt, the symbol of "cul-
ture and social graceS." We of
commoner clay idly might have
supposed either article merely as
designed to keep our trousers on.
Both are useful articles, really,
and it is a matter of little or no
moment which was chosen. We
are abashed and humbled and
only can hope that the parents
Of this child are chaStened suff1-
GENTLY and duly repent their Grass
careleSSness and will sin no more.
One who has learned a new
sense of values.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1933-03-29
No Very Lofty Plans

ME fellow who hikes awav for
Il the readers two-week respite
seldom is entirely frank. Generally
ne Is fond of saying that he has set
out IN search of new material and
that he will return with a brand
new line.
OF course, he never does, and that
was never his intention. What he
really means to say is that he is
seeking chair in the sun and some
island which never did ratify the
amendment.
When 1 return I will have seen
Haytl, the Panama canal, Jamaica
Nassau and Havana, and vet 7
promise not to write anything about
strange native jamborees in the
heart of the Haitian jungle. And
this, despite the fact that I expect
to be in Port au Prince for ali of
five hours.
L positively will not discuss the
respective merits of sea level canals
and those which carry locks. No
searching study Of the Machado re-
CINE will come from my pen nor
any dissertation on the English en-
pire as a colonizer. 1t will be the
same old column.
And so think I have right to
add little personal and conhden-
tial note to the lad who bats in nv
place: Don't put all your back and
shoulders into it, Joe. You wouldn't
want to spoil the racket Of a pal.
now, would you?
Copyright. 1888. by The Times)
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1933-03-29
Speaking of Averages

THE average columnist is not a
Il bad fellow if you can get under
his hide, which still leaves the aver
age columniSt a pretty bad fellow.
But few executives have succeeded
in piercing the cutler layer, and I'M
derneath you will very probably
find heart of gold.
The daily stinter can be made to
see the problem in the terms of
those three or four to whom he
fondly refers as my public" He
will grant that they should not be
expected to bear the grind with
out SurceaSe.
Sometimes the columnist can be
induced to go away of his own &C
cord and cheerfully. It is not in
Varlably necessary to call a cop.
myself went away peacefully
enough, but with n1isgivings.
You see, there always is a pinch
hitter, and no man who has the
feeling that he is developing into a
fungo hitter is likely to be very hap
Ply when some young, snappy fell
low steps into his spot and hammers
SIX or seven drives over the center
field fence.
don't know whether it is bad
luck or what, but the pinch hitter
Tor columnist always turns out to
be combination of the original
Rudyard Kipling and Bernard Shaw
before his dotage.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1933-03-29
M. cySays:

THANKS to a noble stand by the house, we
Il shall have 80 per cent beer instead of 305
per cent which means a couple more drops in
every pint
Thanks to an equally noble stand by the
senate, we shall have 80 per cent wine.
According to experts, the beer will be strong
enough to satisfy the most manly appetite, but
the wine, they say will be insipid.
Well. there is catch in the wine provision.
Because of the time required for fermenta-
ton, wine can contain 80 per cent alcohol at
a given date and II or Is per cent month or
six weeks later. Thus it would be possible for
a wine producer to sell his product in strict
accordance with the law on May and for the
purchaser to find himself in possession of the
stoutest kind of wine by June Is or July l.
While the law prohibits the manufacture,
transportation and sale of wine with more
than 80 per cent alcoholic content, it does not,
ana can not, forbid the increase of that con-
tent by natural processes in a citizens cellar.
THIS innocent looking provision merely
Il opens way for the shipment of unripe
wine in kegs instead of the grape concentrates
now so generally sold. While preventing the
sale of mature wine over the counter, it opens
interstate trade to unfermented wine in the
original package.
Under the law as now written, grape grow
ers and manufacturers can put the juice in
kegs or barrels and ship it to any state which
allows traffic in 80 per cent liquor, provided it
reaches its destination before it exceeds that
percentage.
If the consumer wants to drink it in a raw
state, that is his privilege On the other hand,
if he wants to set it aside, put in a water seal
and do the other things necessary to complete
fermentation, who will interfere?
MO doubt the purchaser will get in
1 Y structions on what not to do to hold his
wine within constitutional limits, but as every
body knows and as has been the practice with
regard TO concentrates for several years, he
can read those instructions the other way and,
with a little trouble, provide himself with a
robust beverage Thus we sanction one more
fake in our efforts to get around the noble
experiment" pending its repeal, and pay lip
loyalty to the eighteenth amendment while we
go through the clumsy, long drawn-out proc
ess of killing it.
One only can wonder what will happen if
country is obliged to live with the darned
thing, though majority of people want it out
OF the way and refuse to obey it.
Whatever happens, this should be a warn
ing. The folly of using the Constitution to
regulate personal habits and impose petty
regulations on the American people stands
clearly revealed.
II this farce teaches us TO avoid such folly
in the future it will have served a good pur-
pose in spite Of the lying and hypocrisy to
which 1t has led and which appear likely to be
with Us for some time.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1933-03-29
THE INDIANAPOLIS TIMES

this line by social thinkers lately. Beer has
loomed big and has monopolized the view.
But the problem has been much discussed
in the past. The opinion always has been that
with prohibition out, the beer racketeers would
swarm over into other predatory occupations
The depression stands against them there,
however. The other rackets now are crowded
Merchants are poor. And it is harder to find
a market for valuable articles stolen.
This condition already has expressed itself
in reduced crime.
However, the fact remains that thousands
Of the underworld and more respectable en-
ployes Of the beer racket will be out in the
cold This may turn into a major police
problem.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1933-03-29
WEDNESDAY. MARCH 20. 1888.

"a scR1prs-nowARp NEMsPAPER

THE plan for relieving the citys jobess by
spring drive for the improvement of
property is sound horse sense. Panicky peo-
pie have been boarding their money and
meanwhile indulging in the widest form of
extravaganza that Of letting their homes
quietly decay for lack of shingles, paint and
a few clapboards.
A satternly appearance of yards, houses,
and Office buildings only helps to contribute
to the depression psychology. No one safely
can hoard any more without running the risk
of ten years in prison. Why not spend that
money that has been hidden in an old tea
pot on sprucing up?
What better investment can man make
than in the appearance of his own home?
Well kept grounds and a trig house are not
only good for the family, but they improve the
morale of the whole community. Louis j..
Borinstein, who heads the cleanup campaign,
shrewdly has pointed out an additional benefit.
That is the fact that money will buy more
paint carpenter work, and outdoor labor to-
day than it has in many years, or than it will
in months to come
Invest in your own happiness. Save your
money and give job to deserving person
by backing this drive.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1933-03-29
The Readers HOHdau

mis- present voyage marks the
4 annual vacation of Haywood
Broun readers. clippers and des-
plsers. 1 think it is an excellent
thing for every group in the COM
mnlty, even the small ones, to
have a stated period of rest.
There IS nothing IN all the long
grind Of columning so satisfactory
as returning to an audience which
has stopped rioting in the aisles and
throwing things and is back in the
seats again. Then, indeed. the
poor performer feels that the show
may go on.
Naturally, no columniSt ever takes
vacation for his own sake. His
job is one of the easiest in the
world, and he works largely for the
fun of it. 1t is possible to tear him
away from his desk only by appeal
ing to his better nature.
1 have seen many a strong and
adult columniSt break into tears
when told by his managing editor
that he must absent himself for a
While. Sometimes he Will pound his
fist on the flat top Il am refer
ring to the desk, and not to the
managing EDITOR and exclaim: But
don't want to go away. I want
to stay here and write columnsm
At such times the wise and kindly
boss will attempt to reason with
the poor fellow. He will point out
that a few determined individuals
have read him every other dav for
fitty-two weeks. Don't you think
that they deserve anything?" the
managing editor will ask.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1933-03-29
BEER RACkETEERS

THOMAS F. CHUMPTY) JACKSON, re-
- formed burglar of the old Bowery days and
now an outstanding, respectable keeper of a
New York bird and pet shop, poses an impor-
tant question, or makes an important state
ment, on the eve OF the return of beer. He
said in an interview with New York news
paper
The mug has got to have a racket. He
employs maybe hundred guys, and he's got
maybe hundred enemies. If he quits he gets
knocked of.
so, beer or no beer, liquor or no liquor, the
mug is going to keep right on with his busi-
ness. He will turn to the policy racket the
insurance racket, and great many other
rackets"
There has not been much speculation along
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1933-03-29

three days as though they were in a stupor,
so great was the strain in the final days
ordeal.
With this in mind, there is increasing de-
mand that the tourney be held over three
day period, in the sections and that an extra
week be added in the finals to give these boys
who have not yet reached maturity chance
to get their proper rest and preserve their
health.
The curtain is down on the basketball
season. but the fans will not forget They de-
mand reform and Mr.. Trester and his aids
will do well to heed their demand or step out
Of the picture.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1933-03-29
A WOman'S Viewpoint

A CLEAR, concise account Of
IA what the modern Russian
woman is doing appears in the cur
rent Scribners and is written by
Mrs. Lincoln Steffens Morals, she
tells us, have gone through several
stages since the revolution and
right now, it seems, there is the Wis
ible tightening of the flbers of de-
cency that, sooner or later, always
follows promiscuity in the relation
ship of men and women.
For instance, she quotes a set Of
principles drawn up for certain
youth commune:
The commune utterly condemns
ephemeral sexual connections and
an unbridled sex life. The only
solution for the sexual question is a
firm and lasting marriage, built up
on love. ana such marriage can re-
suit only from reciprocal friend
ship, closeness Of soul, and mutual
interests"
However negligently this rule may
be followed in Russia, it is not a
bad one for Americans to consider.
EAMILY life has weakened all
l. over the world. 1t has weak
ened most Of all in Russia under
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1933-03-29
Coughs Are Due to Variety of Causes

it is well, continue to whoop and
cough for months, perhaps because
it has learned that the cough
makes it a center of interest.
However, such a diagnosis is made
only with the greatest of difficulty
and never should be made unless
with certainly that every possible
anatomical source of the cough has
been studied and eliminated.
This is the important step to be
taken in the treatment of any
cough; namely, to eliminate or
erase the cause as far as possible.
After this is done, it is possible to
quiet coughing by the use of soda
tive preparations which a physician
can prescribe.
There are various drugs which
tend to loosen a cough and others
which tend to lower the threshold
of stimulation so as to permit heal
ing without coughing.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1933-03-29

OBVIOUSLY, any serious infec-
" ton in the windpipe or in the
voice box will produce cough. Any
interference with tie vocal cords or
any growth which prevents their
proper opening and closing may be
the cause of a constant coughing.
Pressure on the windpipe will
cause a cough, as sometimes occurs
due to enlargement of the thymus
gland or enlargement of the lymph
glands surrounding the windpipe.
The more serious types of cough
ing involve colds which have spread
down into the chest and produced
Inflammation of the bronchial tubes.
The physician, by l'se of his steth-
oscope, can tell that there is inter
ference with the passage of air
through these tubes. Asthmatic
construction of the bronchial tubes
also may produce wheeling and
coughing.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1933-03-29
So They Say

The schools will be only as good
as the public Howard w
Nudd, director of the Public Educa-
ton Association.
There is no question that the jig
saw puzzle and crossword puzzle
satisfy the need for sense of &C
complishment.-Dr. Harrison Har-
ley, Simmons College psychologist.
We must have music and poetry
and we can not think of a future
without their inspiration. - Mrs
August Belmont of New York.
Salvation will not be found by
continuous conferences. - Premier
Mussolini of Italy.
Contrary to popular belief, the
use of snuff is not confined to any
one regiOn.-B. D. Hill, department
of commerce.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1933-03-29
1t Seems
to Me
: BIZ HAYWOOD BROUN

NTHEN this column appears I
w will be on the high seas. If
they intend to consult my feelings
in the matter I would just as soon
have them moderate their altitude
No ocean need ever strut all its stuff
for my benefit.
I have special reason for deSir-
ing trip in calm waters. The ship
which carries this precious cargo of
human freight is, by an oGd chance.
Italian. Somewhere in the broad
Atlantic the captain and I might
get into an argument about Musso-
lini.
OF course, I'm not going to foment
anything. and still I do not want
to be compelled to deny my prin-
Ciples I have hit upon what
seems to me a happy compromise.
If anybody in authority inquiries as
to my opinion of the deuce I Will
reply simply that in my opinion he
Is no such fool as Hitler. That l
can say in all sincerity. l hope it
Will be satisfactory.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1933-03-29
Old House
BY MARGARET E. BRUNER.

BY MARGARET E. BRUNER.
The old house leans a little, listen
ing,
For dim, remembered footsteps on
the walk; u
And lost in dreams it falls to won
dering,
At random bits of desultory talk.
Perhaps it thinks some dear beloved
voice
VIII come to break the silence
again
A child's bright laughter make its
walls rejoice.
Alien so long to all save wind and
rain.
And still the seasons pass; spring
kindles hope,
But summer brings no answer to
its prayer,
Then autumn wanes and winter
shadows grope
And leave it brooding with dumb
despair.
An outcast. waiting for its day of
doom.
Whose ghostly echoes drift from
room TO room.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1933-03-29
Editor journal of the American Medical
association and of Hygeia, the
Health Magazine.

The other forms of cough that
are especially serious are those in
volving actual changes in the lung
tissues, such as those due to tuber-
culosis or f1brous changes in the
lungs, and also determinations of
the membranes lining the chest
cavity known as the pleura. Such
determinations are called pleurisy
In addition to these coughs which
can be traced to the issues con-
cerned, the physician is concerned
with the condition called whoop-
ing cough, and with the develop
ment Of ulcers in various parts OF
the throat.
Finally, the child who has had
whooping cough may develop the
habit Of coughing, and, even though
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1933-03-29
Que stiOns and
Answers j..

Q-What narcotic is common
ly referred to as snow?
A-Cocaine.
Q-Are children born in the
United States of alien parents
American citizens?
Ayes.
Q-What is the average speed
of the S. S. Europa? What fuel
does she burn and what is her
horse power?
A-Her average speed is 26l5
knots. She burns oil and her tur-
bines develop about 96,000-horse
power.
Q-What does the name Thel-
ma mean?
Att is from the Greek and
means willing" submissive.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1933-03-29

mon herd, who might as we'll &c
home if they are going to become
just rubber stamps.
Kindly consider that Republican
administration passed the latest dis
ability act because of humane con-
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1933-03-29
by MRS. WALTER FERGUSON

the Soviets. But pray let us not
delude ourselves into believing that
it has not also weakened in America.
We have set up a great many sub
stitutes for parental care in this
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1933-03-29
POLITICIANS AND PROFESSORS

POLITICIANS AND PROFESSORS
IT seems that the politicians at Washington
do not take kindly to the predominance of
college professors in the Presidents inner cir
Gle of advisers
Politicians and college professors do make
an odd combination when you stop to think
about it. The arena of practical politics has
little in common with the seclusion of the
campus
Never before has President had the tenn
Gritty to try to make the representatives of
these diverse fields pull in double harness.
Yet in the differences that now are appear
ing, it is fairly safe bet that the sympathy
of the general public will incline toward the
professors and not toward the politicians
The college professor, to be sure, is by ira
dition an impractical and visionary fellow.
He is long on theory and short on practice
He can cook up endless schemes which look
we'll on paper, but don't work out in real life
That at any rate, is the tradition But
the college professor, today as never before, is
entitled to sit back and emit a coarse, oh
yeah?"
Consider the situation for moment. For
the last decade all our affairs have been in
the hands of men who, if they were nothing
else, were at least practical
We have had a set of eminentIy practical
politicians at Washington; we have had highly
practical bankers and industrialists running
the worlds of finance and industry.
And look at the mess we're in!
The most visionary of collegiate dreaners
hardly could have devised a system which
would crash more completely than this system
erected by our practical and hard boiled
realists
Isn't it, then, about time that we intrusted
the wreckage to some new hands? Can't we
afford, at last to indulge in a little theory? Is
there in the record, one good reason why
the politicians should poke fun at the college
professors?
If it inks the politicians to find the profess
sors stealing the show, that is too bad. But it
isn't likely that the public will shed many
tears.
Restaurant run by Paul Mellon, son of
Ambassador Andy Mellon fails when landlord
has constable lock door, business being terrible.
First off, we thought maybe manufacturers
had foreclosed for aluminium kitchenware Paul
hadn't paid for.
Columbus Qnd) man celebrated his
ninetieth birthday by shingling the roof of
his barn. Probably just preparing for
rainy day.
Kansas paper has heading Banks En-
joying a Holiday" It's nice to think that
somebody enjoyed it.
Somehow, you're pretty apt to feel low after
high old time.
Philippines turn up with a million-dollar
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1933-03-29

| crimes readers are HrtteG to express
| their CietcS in these columns. Make your
letters short, so all can hare a chance.
Limit them to $50 oords or leSs.)
BY Wilbur MurreII
l have noticed Mr.. TalcOtt Powell,
since you have assumed the position
as editor of the indianapolis Times,
that you are continuing your rather
warped and one-Sided attack upon
the veterans and any one who might
happen to see at least a part of their
side and has the necessary nerve or,
as you see fit to call it, cheap
politics, to stand by his convictions
against those who would deprive
those who served their country in
time of war.
Did you ever stop to think that
those who served in France were
forced continually to sleep on the
rain-Soaked ground of that country
and go with wet feet for a week at
a time without chance to dry them.
They were young at that time and it
had no bad effect on their health,
but they now are advancing in age,
when the exposure they endured at
that time is beginning to show re-
suits.
No doubt you are aware of all
these arguments in favor of the vet
eran, but like all weakened
politicians, you will publish only
those favorable to your own side of
the argument, which is that of the
big business men of the country.
Were you as patriotic in IT and
'1S as you are now, or did you do
your bit over here in dry weather
and nice warm bed, no poison gas
no machine gun bullets, shrapnel OF
trenches?
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1933-03-29

Philippines turn up with a million dollar
surplus in their treasury. Wonder if they
would annex us?
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1933-03-29

Somehow, you're pretty apt to feel low after
a high old time.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1933-03-29
BY Irwin AnchiIevich

By Irwin Anchievch
1 should like to answer the Re-
publican who used a lot of space
and some rather high-fown and
Spiced language and said absolutely
nothing at all. I'll attempt to use
a little space and say something.
I've had the opportunity of hear
ing and observing Mr.. A. Robinson
and although in some things I was
not impressed very favorably, being
strictly an independent voter and
thinker yet I believe in giving him
credit for having the courage of his
convictions and sticking by his guns,
instead of stampeding with the COM
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1933-03-29

Kansas paper has heading: Banks En-
joying a Holiday" It's nice to think tina
somebody enjoyed it.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1933-03-29

Columbus Qnd) man celebrated his
ninetieth birthday by shingling the roof of
his barn. Probably just preparing for a
rainy day.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1933-03-29
The Message Center :

Times readers are nrited to cypress
their rietcS in these columns. Make your
letters short, so all can hare chance.
Limit them to $50 aoords or leSs.J