The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1933-05-11
The Fable of Riding
the Skyrocket
g
By GEORGE AIDE
G. Bell syndicate.-wNU Service.

~ not lay down bet unless the
Odds were approximately 1000
to in his Favor. Before he tackled
any Proposition he liked to gaze at it
from all Angles and get the outward
Aspects and inside Dope.
All of that Bunk about Nothing
venture, Nothing gain" had not been
in his Copy Book but he remembered
luminous Page devoted to BE sure
you're Right and then go into the
High"
Mr.. Dawdell had always been eau
tious that way. He was not an am
bilious Explorer, a reckless Expert
menter or an intrepid Pioneer. For
instance, he didn't go in for any new
tangled Didoes until they were five
or six Years old and had been thor
Oughly tested and approved by all the
Neighbors.
He never bought Bicycle until aft
er Autos came in. He wanted to be
sure that they were safe to use and
would stand the Wear and Tear.
Up to last Fall he wore a Derby.
He didn't want to buy the Soft Kind
until certain that the Fedora was more
than transitory Fad.
His Excuse for wearing Detachable
Cuffs is that the Style may change
back at any time from Attached Cuffs
to Detachable Cuffs and if it does he
! wants to have a lot of Detachable
Cuffs all ready to wear. Here we
have Brand Of Intelligence often en-
, countered but seldom understood and
| appreciated.
Once he served on Jury and held
up the Verdict for Two Days because
he felt sure that all of the Witnesses
on Both Sides had perjured Them
selves. consequently he was not in pos
session of any accurate Information
! upon which to base a definite Con-
! clusion.
Matching Out His Roll.
The only Reason he is alive now
, is that so many Drivers are good
Dodgers because, when Mr.. Dawdell
gets out into the Street and it becomes
Question as to whether he shall hur-
! ry on across or beat it back to the
Sidewalk, that is a Problem which
cannot be settled offhand. He has to
get out Pencil and Pad of Paper
and work on it for quite While.
Possibly you have heard of his ia
nous Wager. On certain WedneS-
! day he laid Odds of to l that the
/ ho do hut hot
Evening he heard Rumor that the
World was coming to an End, so at
II 80 P. NJ. he hedged.
Even from this Blue Print you may
be able to corral a correct Line on
Mr.. Dawdell, otherwise known as
Safety First. All he wanted at any
time was lead-pipe Cinch which did
not involve any Element of Risk.
The Bull Market and the Real Els
tate Boom were simply made to Or
der for Birds of his general Descrip-
ton, it being a well-known geological
Fact that the Village Miser who is
afraid to put any Coin into the Build
ing and Loan will always go to the
County Fair and fall for the Shell
! Came
1t is the Concern promising Ten Per
Cent Month that brings all of that
widowed Money out of the Stockings.
/ To the Sure-Thingers all that is Real
looks Counterfeit whereas the Phonies
/ seem to be not only plausible but alb
solutely gilt-edged.
Jon bo ~.
Bank Roll and he was sitting on it to
keep it warm. He was waiting for
Chance to double his Money over
Night but he didn't propose to rush
! into any speculative Deal until he
knew that it was air-tight, sound and
/ guaranteed. In the meantime he was
watching the Stock Market and the
, Guardian Angel supposed to take care
of Suckers was on a Vacation.
Everything had been going up and
! up. He watched the Ticker and the
Black Board and the Newspaper Quo
tations and he could not refrain from
making Mind Bets.
/ All Set for a Killing.
/ As, for instance, if he had bought
1000 Shares of Milk Can Preferred
on July LIST and held it until Septem-
Der 18th, he would have cleared
enough to permit him to take on 5000
Shares of Bohunkus Steel Coil Com
mon at the Low Point and hold it I'M
/ til just before the Holidays and then,
by slapping all of the Velvet into Gil
hooley Oil. Gas and VapOr he could
I have closed out early in February,
! just before the Break, with total
Profit of, say S630OOO, or in Round
Numbers SG5O,0O0, if not more. Max
ing the Whole Thing well worth his
time.
! The only Reason in the World that
he hadn't Played his lunches and
cleaned up Ton of Jack was that
he wanted to watch the Market for a
considerable Period OF Time and make
sure that the Bull Movement was to
be continuous and perpetual instead
of a SpasmOdic Reaction to certain
evanescent Conditions, if you know
what that means. If you don't, the
Author will be unable to give you any
Help.
Well, the upward Trend had been so
continuous that even Mr. Dawdell
finally knew that the Psychological
Moment had arrived and that every
tbinp was Snt for KILLING Az nnar-