The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1933-06-30

NOE there was very small and
succulent Urchin who discov-
cred before he had been on the
Planet many Moons, that no
Individual attracts favorable Attention
unless he exhibits a certain Amount
of alluring Cussedness. He found out,
as all kids of Normal Intelligence must
find out, that his Elders laid down for
him a strict Set of Rules which they
took great Pleasure in busting to
Smithereens.
AS soon as he could sit en- a hard
adult Knee he was warned that, dur
ing the Years to come, he must be
Polite, Unselfish, Industrious, and eco
nomicaL A lot of the Folks who
slipped him this rare Dope were ILL
hammered and grabbed and lazy and
wasteful, but what of it? Among Par
ents and Relatives the Big Idea to
be worked off on the Youngsters is.
do as say and not as do"
Many Clove-Eater had told
him that when he grew up he must
shun Liquor. The Poker-Players ex-
planned to him that Good Little Boys
played Marbles for Fun, and not for
Classics and Aggies Uncle Fred, with
both of his Vest Pockets stuffed full
of high-grade Connecticut-wrapped
Five Centers and smelling like a
Smoke House, would warn the little
Man that he must never, never form
the Tobacco Habit.
No wonder Griswold, when he was
8 years of Age, sat down one Day
and figured it out, in a Spirit of ut
ter Cynicism, that Life was a Bunk
and Old People were whitewashed Sep
ulchers and conventional Virtue offered
absolutely no inducements to Lad of
Parts and ambition.
Even at that Early Age he felt
stirring within Himself an outlaw De-
sire to be True Sport. He took note
of the Fact that all of the Juvenile Par
agons who were held up as Models of
Department to the Ornery Youngsters
were pale and had sea shell Ears and
wore Shoes in the Summer Time and
didn't seem to be getting anything out
of Life and were loathed by the Rising
Generation.
Early Vices of a Semi-Criminal.
On the other Hand, all of the Hard
Eggs who could fight with their fists
and went swimming in the Crick be-
fore the Ice was out and carried Mig
ger-Shooters and had a standing Feud
with the Town Marshal-they were
talked about and admired and quoted
and surrounded by cringing Courtiers.
Griswold was cropping toward a Fact
which has long puzzled and discour-
aged good many Moralists.
Robin Hood remains a glorified fig
ure, but who is interested in John
Bunyan? Captain Kidd has an endur-
ing Fame and is beloved by Thousands
who never heard of the Archbishop of
Canterbury. Rollo goes into the Dis
card but Huck Finn remains a lu-
minous Hero whose shocking Vices en-
dear him to Old and Young.
The trouble with straight-laced Nor
atty, as practiced in a perfunctory
Manner in so many Communities, il
that it holds out no glittering Induce
ments. Griswold, or "Griz." as he
was addressed by his Colleagues, knew,
even at the Age of Eight, that he never
would be respected as a coming Buff
falo Bill or John L. Sullivan merely
because he washed behind the Ears
and saved up his Pennies for the Hea-
then. 1t was understood among the
Lads of his Gang that the Good Ones
were going to escape burning in Hot
Flames but, aside from that. they had
no Prospects.
1t seemed to Griswold that If he
wanted to be a cowboy or travel with
a Circus, he had better demonstrate an
immediate spirit of Bravado by learn
ing to Smoke. When he made this
manly Resolve 1t was still possible to
get Pittsburgh Stogies at two for
Five, while very good quality of
Cheroot could be had out of a paper
Box, at any Grocery Store for Three
Cents each, two for Five, or twelve for
Two Bits, so that the foul Nicotine
was, as you might say, within the
Reach of All.
If he finally could puff at a Twofer
without getting dizzy, it was because
he showed the Optimism and logged
Determination that are demanded of
any one who would learn to eat Olives,
play Bridge, reduce the Weight, listen
to an Opus or read Hindoo Poetry.
By the time he was In his Teens he
owned Pipe and painfully tried to use
the kind of Language that would have
Mortified his Sunday School Teacher,
and he had semi-criminal Record on
account of playing Hockey, smashing
Windows and stealing Watermelons.
The Sporting Code Of Honor.
When a Boy who is brought up In a
Refined Home and surrounded by all
Of the Civilized Influences. shows a
wide Streak of Wickedness, some Per-
sons say that he is proving the Doc
trine of Original Sin and others say
Instinct of Sheep to Sc
Point Is a