The Washington times., 1933-04-12


Calcutta, India.-There isn't a
great deal Of difference between
this city and Bombay. That's a
long statement for a guy who
has been here but a few hours,
but I'm taking the chance. The
streets are just as dirty, the
natives are just as filthy, the
transportation systems are just
as ancient, the beggars are just
as frequent, the disease is just
as obvious and the English are
just as superior.
Lord knows, I don't blame
the English in this country for
being superior. I have seen
enough of the Indian native
now to know that. regardless
of his religion, his God is super
stition of the lowest order. I
know that he is dull-witted and
dirty and unreasoning and un-
willing to learn. know that
such unfortunateS need the
rule of the iron hand and the
respect for superiority. Other
wise, there would be chaos
which there will be some day.
Has Swell Bed
But there I go into political
angles again and I wanted to
avoid that for the time being.
Besides, I'm in tough spot this
evening. After getting no sleep
the previous night, I went
through an experience last night
that you are welcome to any
time you wish to try it. I slept
on the floor of an Indian dining
car.
The entire blame must rest
upon the shoulders of that dog
gone tourist crowd. I had a
reservation on the express train
for Calcutta, but reservations
over here mean about as much
as a brassiere in Bali. You can
buy them-but what good are
they?
When in India, do as the
Americans do. wanted to get
to Calcutta, and missing this
train would cost me just "a
precious hours. So I had my
bearer toss all my luggage into
the dining car, which was the
only vacant space on the entire
train.
Mohamet Smel, my bearer,
seemed q trifle worried about
the situation.
Cannot put masters luggage
in eat car" he said nervously.
Law say no. Eat car man say
no."
Listen, Mohamet," I stated
vigorously. EAT car man and
I old friends. I get eat car man
and talk to him. While I talk,
you put luggage in dining car.
You understand"
Calls Manager
Mohamed nodded, which is
the best thing he does. The
station gong rang, which means
in India that the train is ready
to leave almost any hour. I
walked up to the other end of
the dining car, and called
loudly for the manager. Out
came a young chap whom, for
his own protection, I will call
Reggie.
How are you, sir?" cried
warmly, pumping his right
hand. my names Hellinger
and I'm a dining car manu-
facturer back in America. It's
a real pleasure to know you,
and I'm here to tell you that
I'm riding on your train to-
night. How are things in the
dining car line, anyhow"
"How are you, SIR" MUIR
INJURED Reggie, evidently at a
bit of loss. We have q very
large crowd for dinner. But
I'll be happy to take care of
you after they have been
served. What car are you in,
sir?"
I glanced down the platform.
My last piece of baggage was
going into the car. decided
to make a clean breast of it.
ITO tell you the TRUTH" I
said, II haven't any car. I
have my reservation, but that's
all. I've got to get to Calcutta,
so I'm putting my luggage in
here; And I'm spending the
night in your dining"
I got no further.
Nothing doing, sir" he cried.
Strictly against company rules,
If I may say so. No baggage
or passengers are permitted in
our dining cars"
Rare Old BRANDY
Listen" I whispered, "in one
of my bags is a bottle of rare
brandy. I was saving it for a
rare occasion, my next wedding,
or something. But now I feel