The Coolidge examiner., 1933-06-16
THE FABLE OF
DOING JUST AS
YOU PLEASE
g
By GEORGE ADE
By GEORGE ADE
@. Bell syndicats.-wNU Service

INNCE there was Desk serf
who longed for Sniff of the
Great Outdoors. He was
tired Of looking out from his High
Windows and seeing nothing for
Miles except Radio Antennae. Often
he wondered IL he had forgotten
how to walk on Grass. He sup
posed that somewhere the slanting
Rays of early Sunlight caused the
Dewdrops to sparkle like Rhine
stones. and the Birds were coloratur-
Ing overhead, and the Air was con-
gested with something other than
Speed Cops and Carbon Monoxide.
Unfortunately he had dribbled
away his Vacation and would have
to wear the Leg Chains for Months
to ensue, so his only Chance to
break away from the Reservation
and sit In Natures Lap was to grab
a little Outing for the Week End.
At least he could escape from the
Roar and Traffic and the raucous
Street Cries and the endless Parade
of highheeled Stenographers.
His name was Vassle and original
ly he came from a blessed Region
where one might obtain Apples from
Trees instead Of Greeks. He felt,
even though the expression might
have been used before, the Call Of
the Wild. Sometimes he dreamed
of purling Brooks and Grapevine
Swings and light Biscuits drowned
in Gravy. One might wonder why
he had left the Calm Beatitudes of
Farming Region to come up to the
City and make just enough to keep
himself in Clothes and Movies. One
might.
The Liberty Hall Gag.
He was employed by the great
Firm known as Doodle and Kittle
which specialized on making Money
and then some. Mr.. Vassle had be-
come pleasantly acquainted with the
present Doodle of the House, a Mid
dle-aged boy who had learned the
useful Lesson that Business should
never interfere with Anything Else
on the Program. He had a Town
House and a Country House and
House Boat in Florida and two
Lockers at the famous Golf Course
and a Garage full of long, low rak-
ish Speed Wagons. A true sport,
who could wear Spats without fire.
Quently looking down at his Feet.
Ii cannot be denied that Mr.. Vas
sic almost keeled over with Joy
when the one and only Doodle cas-
ually invited him to come out and
spend Sunday at his Country Place
which bore the very seductive Title
Of what Hoi" Mr.. Yassle began
getting ont his Whites and most pas
sionate Shirt and wondering If he
could hold up his End In discussing
Art. Literature and History with the
House Guests. 1t was enough to
throw the Trembles into one of the
Plain People. He was about to stand
near enough to the Nobility to feel
the Current
1t was surely a Privilege TO beat
1t to Quiet Spot where he could
get the Kinks out of his Nerves and
listen to the Breezes humming a
soft Lullaby through the Boughs
and take a good old-fashioned Re
lax.
AS they rode out on the ParlOr
Car. surrounded by important look
ing overweights who kept glancing
around susplciously, as II some one
might sneak up from behind and try
to borrow Money or start Conver-
sation. ii was then that Mr. Doodle
reassured Mr.. Vassle. He pulled
the Old STUFF about Liberty Hall.
I'VE make it Rule to let our
Friends do as they darn please"
said he. Just cut loose and have
Good Time in your own Way. If
you don't get what you want. holler
for it. Everything is very Demo
cratic and we don't put on any
Swank. I'm sure you'll cotton to all
Of our Friends. They don't care
whether School keeps or not. What
you might term the Salt of the
Earth. Everything goes except For
maity. You'll fit right in because
can see that you are Bird who
is very broadminded."
They motOred from the ivy-clad
Station at an easy Clip of 30 miles
an Hour to Baronial Castle where
Mr.. Vassle. for the first time, saw
his Almost-Leather Suit Case being
unpacked by distinguished-look
Foreigner who had a rectangle of
side-whisker in front OF each Ear,
the same as Bull Fighter.
He looked out OF the Window at
Landscape which had been mani
cured and given a Skin Treatment
and seemed to smell Of Perfumery.
Nature was all dressed up but still
trying to smile through the Rouge.
Silent Golf.
Just then his Host came In and
said. Now. Kid. you can do what
ever suits you. but we are all going
to Buzz over to Bill Burleighs for
Tea. l think you will be amused.
! The only difference between Bills