The Waterbury Democrat., 1933-05-17
TCDANS SPORTAPARADE :. MaH8hyb@
By HENRY McLEMORE

(Cnited Press stan COffeSpOnOcntD
 Joe's Place. N. J., May 17-(UP) This little quick lunch diner hard on highway No. 8 and devoted to mans craving for hamburgers, hot dogs, java and happle pie, IS strange place for a quest to end.
 But one ended here today. It was ours, a quest started years ago for the purpose of discovering the ideal sport for the masses. We wanted a sport anybody and every body could play at; a sport that required neither bulging biceps, colossal chest or wealth.
 Ours was a long search fraught withs disappointments. At one time we thought fiagpole sit ting was the answer. It was aban- doned, however, when it was point ed out that as flags were flown from the poles during the day. major sitting would have to be done a night when a great maHy people such as watchmen. second- story workers, Chautauqua lectur- CTS and those fellows who mend car tracks, would be unable to par ticipate.
 We fancied bird watching for a while but soon saw it was unfair to the birds who. like all the rest of us, like a little privacy. Besides. those people who lived on the sea, coast and whose birds were limited to seagulls and pelicans. had to be simply marvellous swimmers 10 get any real enjoyment.
 Then today, out here in front Of Joe's Place, we found the ideal sport for the masses. It is called |" stretching out-in-a coffin under ground and staying there-a-whlle. Later on, when it sweeps the coun- try, the unwiedly name probably will be shortened to something catchy like, say, rootles.
 The originator of the game is Ray Richards, 22Eear-old sporting goods salesman. Four days. ago he climbed into a coffin. waves good bye to his friends, and was lowered six feet into the ground. As bug Ter sounds taps" and band gave off fdirge, Ray was covered up. For ten cents you may peep down a pipe and see Ray in action. or rather, in inaction, for he chose one of the modish new m-htting collins. He hopes to remain buried AZ days and thus win $1,00O bct with a doctor.
 WIG tOOh d PCCP AS As&J and when we saw him lying there so comfortable, q faraway look in his eyes, we knew we had found the ultimate in sports. The trouble with most sports is that they're dangerous and competition in them is liable to land you bruised lig- ament, a broken leg or popped osselet. But being buried alive why, you couldn't get a charley horse in a coffin if you tried.
 And you never would have to worry about keeping in condition in our sports for the masses. The worse you felt the better coffin lying you could do. Those of you who can't run a block unless We get our second wind would have just as much chance of being big ten cofiin-lyer-inner as a bird whose muscles rippled under his tawny skin like a tigers. (That last bit of descriptive writing Is patented, so lay off it.)
 Too, collins come cheap, and even if you insisted on fancy box with tufted plush and feather pill lows. you'd have all your life to pay for it. And in our new sport you wouldn't have to worry about your friends failing to dig you up. In fact, it would be a break if they failed to. For if you stayed down there permanently. you'd automat- ically become champion.