Evening star., 1933-01-06
ANECDOTES recall
| COOLIDGE HUMOR
Stories of Dry New England
Wit Linger in Gossip Of
/ Washington.
HS the Associated Press.

tMany a choice example Of Calvin
Coolidge's dry humor fingers in the
whispering galleries of Washington.
Some of the stories are OF the
class Just along the border line be-
tween gossip and established truth
Doubtless, most of them are true, but
the solemn New Englander himself
never took the trouble to deny one OF
them.
Perhaps the gem of them all. much
repeated because 1t played directly on
the universal theme of Mr.. Coolidge's
Silence, related to a young lady VINO
Was having dinner at the White House.
seated next the President, she opened
the conversation with this:
"I have been told you are the most
silent of men. But made bet before
Iscarne here that I could make you say
more than two words during dinner,
you lose" was the two-word reply.
Another which became a classic,
doubtless because it dealt with that
other Coolidge trait-thrift-had to do
With O caller who said:
E"I have one favor to ask. I am a col
iector of cigar bands. One OF my amol-
tfons is to have one of yours
sWhereupon the President opened
drawer of his desk, took out cigar,
carefully removed the band, replaced
the cigar and closed the drawer.
Twitted about this long afterward,
Mr.. Coolidge's comment was:
3'well. that's what he asked Ior'
wasn't it?"
Secret Service men we're the butts of
many of Mr.. Coolidge's jokes and they
liked It, One of their prize stories tells
OF the necessity for moving the White
House alarm button to hide 1t from
the then President.
He had q quaint habit when all was
Quiet of stepping from his office, push
ing the button and disappearing. 1t
brought all guards on duty.
After this had happened several times
the bell was quietly moved, without
telling the President, and his fun ended.
From the Black Hills comes another.
Mr.. Coolidge was presented with a q.
bpshel of potatoes. To an elderly coll
ored man he commented that there
were a lot of black specks on them
and suggested that they be cleaned on.
TO the protests of the colored man
he explained that Vermont potatoes
didn't have those black eyes and they
should come of.
Willing to please the President at
any cost, the impressed servitor started
rubbing, and after watching him for
some time Mr. coolidge strolled away
smiling.
Men who served with him in the
Massachusetts Legislature told this one:
while Mr. Coolidge was presiding
over the State Senate, heated argu-
nnent arose between two Of its members
and terminated with one of the legis-
lators telling the other to "go to hell. !"
The offended Senator appealed to
Mr. Coolidge and demanded that some
thing be done.
without changing his expression or
composure, the former President re-
piled: IT have looked up the rules; you
don't have to 60"
TT was at q ground cere-
mony in his home State Mr.. Coolidge
turned the customary spadeful Of earth
and then stood silent while the gather
ing waited for him 70 speak. When he
said nothing the master OF ceremonies
asked him If he would favor with q
few words.
Mr.. Coolidge looked at the spadeful
of earth he had Just turned over and
said: That's fine hshworm." Then
turned and walked to his waiting car.
One Sabbath after Mr.. Coolidge had
returned from church In Boston, where
he heard q sermon, Mrs. Coolidge asked
him what the preacher had talked
about.
"Sin," said Mr.. Coolidge
what did the preacher say about 1t, ="
pressed Mrs. Coolidge.
He was against it" said Mr.. Cool
idge.
While he was a college student he
returned home for holiday and took
a girl to a party. On the return trip,
made In sleigh, he took his friend TO
his fathers house for coffee.
His father asked him IL he had en-
joyed himself, whereupon Calvin an
sWered:
II had a fine time, father--I didn't
dance"
When the Coolidges were living in a
rented apartment in Northampton a
reporter asked the President If it was
true that he paid only $35 rent.
Don't print that" said Mr.. Coolidge,
'1t's really only s32 and he might raise
It on me-"
Toward the close of his last term as
President a reporter asked Mr.. Coolidge
what he intended to do when his term
expired.
"I am going back to Vermont and
whittle for a year or two" Mr.. Coolidge
answered.