The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1933-11-24
Howe About:
A Loafer's Utopia
The Final Average
Leading a Normal Life
By ED HOWE
!. 1888. Bell syndicate.-wNU Service.

BY ED HOWE
MO NEWSPAPER manager can DOS
sibly keep nOnsense out of his
columns Dni no should be careful 10
carry along every day a suggestion OF
the old conservative common sense
necessary in properly distinguishing
right rom wrong. Most newspapers
do this with considerable faithfulness
In spite of the increasing demand for
sensationalism Som Of them call II
humor. but the common sense Is sug.
gested. and may be worked out by
those who care for it.
AS an example of this | note a re-
cent syndicated article by Westbrook
Pegler, and appearing in good
many first rate papers. In introduc-
ing Mr.. Pegler the paper | see regu-
larly says: "Pegler Gives Humorous
Slant on the New Deal"
What Is called humorous slant is
actually the most important piece of
wisdom have seen printed In many
months. Mr.. Pegler says:
~The trouble with the Russian
Soviet system has been that 1t sought
to compel the citizens to work. some
times resorting to enforced labor,
whereas under the American plan en-
forced loafing will be held over the
heads of the comrades as a threat to
work hogs who endanger the success
of the new deal by INDUCING selfish
passion for TOLL
the extent of column, which Is not
too much: many others would have
made il into a book. and thus buried
the good idea
cast my vote for a wreath to
Westbrook Pegler for writing the most
Illuminating piece of American wis
dom in 1888; possibly for all time.
In being careful I'm rather an en-
thusiast; when In such mood. and re-
ceive an important paper or letter, |
pnt ii away so carefully can't find it
later. Altogether my average In
exercising care is low. although | be-
lieve such virtue one of the first
human being constantly In danger)
should exercise. The time to-
lock the stable door, of course, is
when the thought of thieves first oc-
ours to you. but so many delay that
warning maxim was written centuries
ago. The wisdom conveyed by the
maxim is so important that all care
less men have been familiar with and
frequently repeated 1t hundreds of
years without it doing them any good.
A young man went to doctor Tor
advice. and the doctor asked: "Have
you been leading normal lifeT The
young man replied that he had. "Well."
continued the doctor. "you must cut
out liquor and women for at least six
months" This may be a good
joke confess to a smile myself
but it displays fault common to
most American jokes. In that 1t gives
the impression that all normal men
drink too much intoxicating liquor.
Not one in twenty of them do. How
many confirmed drunkards do you
know? | have asked myself the ques-
ton. MY reply is. | do not know to
exceed three or four, and these so
widely scattered they annoy me rare
ly. In thinking over that part
of the joke referring to women, | be-
come more serious. but risk no figures.
new word lately becoming popular
Is moron. tMeaning man suffering
from arrested mental development.)
It is rather a better word than fool
which seems to mean man who Is
not a full shilling; who never had any
sense. and never win have any. But
a moron means one born with sutfi-
cient and average intelligence. and
after reaching twenty-five or thirty,
becomes shiftless as to his mind. and
quits developing it.
4 estimate there are hundreds OF
morons to one fool; the number OF
complete fools is actually not great;
there seems little doubt that the mind
may be developed as naturally and
easily as the muscles, by proper exer
else; but as we grow older our nat
uraI disposition is to become fiabby In
flesh and mind. Millions are today
supporting doctrines as foolish as per.
petual motion. Limitation. as an ex
ample: 1t is the same thing.)
All such are suffering from arrested
mental development; they 10 not take
a proper daily dozen for their heads.
Men die unnecessarily every day be-
cause of arrested physical develop
ment. and morons develop Isl the same
way:. they become poorer thinkers be.
cause they do not fairly and properly
exercise their minds. and shuttle shift.
lessly along to the bread line or poor
house when they might have easier
lived fairly respectable and success
full lives and finally achieved very
good obituary in the local papers
The more young men act like eau.
tious old men. the better they viii
get along.
In my reading have concluded
many authors wish to cut and slash
and insult have no such disposition.
Nothing pleases me more than an oc-
casional critic who SAYS my writing