The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1933-02-09
By Scoop Himself

sheets and oh, no, hum, just snooze
and snooze.
The telephone central just caught
me a while ago as I was in the midst
of big yawn, Number, please" she
sweetly crooned, and l answered
bravely "ooowaan aaaaaat oooooooo."
! l got the sheriff's office.
Oh, hum, it fingers so much my
mouth looks like twins. Maybe it's
all caused from last Friday. l was in
the midst of my regular Friday day
time sleep, caused by Thursdays over
work in getting out The Republican
and other publications, when some
body pounded on the door.
"I'll just let them pound" thought
l. But is he a persistent cuss. I'll
| just boiler out the front window. Still
he doesn't pay any attention. May
be if l pound on the porch roof he'll
come out and then l can see whether
he wants to sell something or give it
| away I'll bet he has bare knuckles
from so much contact with the door.
The buzzer battery would be all worn
out-if | had buzzer.
Here he comes. I'll ask him nicely
what he wants. What the matter?
Got cotton in your ears, mister?
WHAT DO YOU WANT? Oh, if he'd
only look up here. l can't wave my
hands like a wild man very long, or
my bathrobe will fall off. He's getting
away and still he won't look. He's
way up the road. I'll boiler just once
more. No, Mr.. Falkenstein, l wasn't
hollering for help. It's too late now.
He's over the hill and gone. Maybe
it's just as we'll but he sure spoiled
my slumber.
But imagine my embarrassment
when Hen McComas told me about the
deaf and dumb man who had called at
his home on Friday afternoon.
Oh, well, he had to buy needles, and
I didn't.
|
Most of these Brother, can you
spare dime?" people pass us up on
their house to house canvasses. They
take look at the implanted house
and decide we haven't any dimes to
give away. And the funny part of it
is, we don't. A cents of humor, if
you ask me, which you probably
won't.
We have not gone into the parasol
business. But the other day Did
Jim uncovered a big package of the
fashionable sun umbrellas. At least
they were fashionable at one time.
Long handles, big top.knots, curved
ribs, and all the latest colors. Don't
be surprised to see Lizzie fish,
the office girl, or Mary Ann Small,
the girl in the back office, dash out
with one during heavy March gale.
Or you might even see me with one.
I've got nothing against curved ribs
and sech.
Card of Thanks
| desire in this manner to thank
those who were responsible for NOV
ing Treacy's trucks from the back lot
so could burn my trash without
fear of calling the fire department.
Signed Di-di Jim, the office devil.
No card of thanks was issued by
members of little Monte Carlo,
whose Gambling gen is now broken
up, and they have no place to go
much.
A man overheard at Harwichport,
Mass, was knocked unconscious
when struck by -preserver. So
many relief plans are like that.
%**
A lot Of people around here are
unconscious in body. They've found
they can get food and clothing with
out working, and do you think
they're going to waste their energy
in manual labor? There's nothing
unconscious about their minds tho
Prohibitionists are using the famous
football yell in fighting the vets in
their attempt to repeal the 18th
amendment, Block that kick"
The boss editor had to sneak away
last Friday night. A party of 40 or
more were at his house, and when all
got to talking at once it was no place
for him. He was just a fugitive
from chin gang.
Are you Yoder?" | asked a cal
Ter at The Republican yesterday
whose face looked familiar. "Yoder
| know better than that" he replied
smart like, and when put on some
| bOrroyyad cpacS II wac DOc Vol,