The Coolidge examiner., 1933-05-05

was to become joyous Reality. He
felt that the time had arrived for
him to break out of the Shell and
Crow three times and let the World
know that he had arrived.
SO he went to Real Tailor and
said he wanted a Dress Suit with
more Satin Lining than ever had
been seen on any Vaudeville Stage
He wanted a. least one Velvet Col
lar and he wanted little Dew
flicker to connect the Buttons in
front and he wanted much Braid
down the Trousers. The Tailor
tried to tell Sherman that Evening
Dress, or Full Dress, or Formal
Dress, or whatever one may choose
to designate the fantastic Garb,
should be characterized by an un-
obtrusive Elegance and not Compli
Gated by those Innovations which
seem to be favored by SOng-and
Dance Hicks and former Soda
Clerks who have lately begun to I'M
personate European AristOcrats on
the Screen.
No Quiet Raiment for Him.
All that Stuff about cutting out
the Decorative Effects went for
Sweeney. Mr.. Whipple had waited
nearly 80 years for arrival OF The
Day and now that he was about to
back into a real Set of Mites and
carry his own Scenery. he didn't
want any Vestments that were quiet
and sedate. He wanted a Dress
Suit that would sound like a Saxo.
phone.
He had his wish. After the Hot
Raiment was delivered he spent
many an Hour in front of the Mirror
and had a great many imaginary
Chats with Members of the Oppo-
site Sex who were not unknown to
the Haute Monde, whatever that is.
He could hardly wait to fash the
proud Apparel. His first Chance
came when he was invited to attend
a Smoker given by the Members of
the Twelfth Ward Bowling Club.
When he showed up at the Function
he had on everything except Lip
Rouge. There were 200 present and
$50 of them had committed Social
Errors by appearing in Sack Suits,
although ii is only fair to add that
one of them wore a Sweater also.
Mr.. Whipple had to pull the Old
One about going to Party later in
the Evening. Some one asked him
if it was going to be Fancy Dress
Party and he said it wasn't, where
upon several Of the Boys shook
their Heads and couldn't seem to
understand 1t.
He thought he was safe when he
attended a Banquet given by the
Alumni OF his Alma Mater, which
happened to be a Shorthand Col
lege. The Ladies were present and
the Toastmaster had the names of
20 tongue tied Morons who were to
be called upon to Speak. 1t was
that Kind Sherman did not feel
so lonesome Rt this Affair. as all the
Walters had Spike-Tails, but the
Toastmaster wore the only double
breasted Prince Albert Frock Coat
10 be found on Earth outside Of the
Embalmlng Profession.
Bad News for the Dress Suit.
One Day. after the beautiful Raj.
ment had been in the Camphor for
month. Mr.. Whlpple found some
thing in Magazine which almost
froze his Blood. The Piece went on
10 say that the Man of Fashion who
wished to be En- Rapport with all
the late Wrinkles could now be de
Rigeur, a la Mode and absolutely
RaZmagash even If he wore a Din
ner Coat at Gatherings attended by
Ladies. 1t Is said that the snowy
Weskit. the expensive Pearls, the
tall Dicer and the White Mittens
which can seldom be buttoned.
would continue to be Au Fait at the
Metropolitan Opera House or at
Weddings, but for Dinner Parties
which were more or less En- Famille
the Dinner Jacket Combination was
TO the Mustard, because the Prince
of Wales was doing II and what
more was there to say?
1t was just like sticking a Knife
into the Heart of Sherman Whipple.
He couldn't scoop up all OF the
French but he surmised that the
Money which he had tied up in the
Swell Harness was going to be a
Total Loss He had no Chance to
be among those present at the Met
ropolitan Opera House, and the
Weddings were out because the only
Friends he had In the World had
been married for years.
Little remains TO be told Sher-
man still has the Dress Suit but 1t
binds across the Shoulders and the
Pants are so tight in the Legs that
they no longer conform to the Rules
laid down in that sparkling Depart
ment headed styles for Men"
Often, as he sits by the Radiator,
waiting for Spring to show up, Sher-