The Coolidge examiner., 1933-05-26
The Fable of the
Desecrated
Village
g
By GEORGE ADE
@. Bell syndicate.-wNU Service.

Y twice the size of Poultry
ranch. Ii surrounded a Depot
and the principal Recipe for killing
Time was to sit on the Front Porch.
A little Croquet, accompanied by
bantering Conversation; some Horse
Shoe Tossing back of the Smlthers
Garage and a Ball Team which
modified once In a while for the
Purpose of getting trimmed-these
helped to differentiate the Residents
OF Comaville from Live Stock, but
there Is no getting away from the
cruel Truth that this Settlement
acted most OF the Time as If 1t had
taken heavy Doses Of Hop.
OF course. the Weekly Paper often
spoke OF COmaville as a hustling and
progressive little City.
From all Reports it would seem
that COmavile was not always cold
In the Shell. They say that the
Whole Region was lively before the
Early Settlers drove out the Indians.
Nevertheless for some 90 years be-
fore Mr.. and Mrs. Eli Furbison be-
gan 10 spend their Winters In
Florida. accompanied by a Camera.
there is no denying that Comaville
was moribund. dopey and altogether
flump.
Eli Big Number.
Some Day there will be a Bronze
Tablet down by the Depot. marking
the exact Spot at which Mr.. Furbi-
son allghted from No. one day In
Springtime. with the leather-trim
Bag over his Shoulder and as slick
an assortment OF Golf Tools as ever
came out OF Department Store.
The Rubes had seen the Pictures
In the Colored Part and when they
got a Peek at the Skinny Set they
let out a Guffaw which might have
been heard as far away as the Hay
Press. 1t Is probable that Goliath
cackled when he first spotted Da-
vid and that Samson told his Bud
dies that he would call on Delllah
merely to study her Character. but
there wasn't a Chinaman's Chance
for his falling for any OF that vamp
Stuff.
II the Citizenry OF Comaville had
burned the queer-looking Imple-
ments and then suspended Ell by
the Neck from the Hard Maple just
across the Street, In front of Uz
Burlig's Blacksmith Shop. then
great many things which afterward
came TO pass might not have tran
spired and the Restful Calm which
had brooded over the Hamlet for so
long probably would not have been
busted up.
Mr.. Ell Furbison accepted the
SCOTS with apparent Good Nature.
but already he was nursing. in the
back OF the Trusty Rean. n set OF
Plans which would guarantee him a
juicy Revenge for all of the low
Comedy Cracks
He being President OF the Bank
and owning most Of the Corners
along Main Street made Eli the
Sacred White Bullock OF his Birth
Place. So when he. laid out 4-hole
Golf Course In the Pasture near his
palatial Shack at the Edge of Town.
every Cyrus and Cynthia sat mp and
began To take notice and wonder II
the somnolent Burg would have
something to hrag about at last.
Music With Meals.
The first to go out and expert
ment with the far-famed Division Of
the Idiotic Rich were the Elite.
meaning those Professional and
Business men who wore White Col
lars all Week. and Blue Elastics.
They began 70 order from Cata-
logue and the Wives ran from House
TO House telling that Mrs. Furblson
had met Glenna Collett in Flor
Ida. and also said that all the Girls,
both Cuties and Grown Ups, down
there were goofy about the Game
and every one played 1t except
Campers. Cripples and Tin-Canners.
Ere now you have guessed that
a Meeting was called and every Car
Owner was present. In the Back
Room at the Bank. trying to look
like one Of the Declaration Of In
dependence. Officers were elected.
The Bylaws. as adopted. were
about the Length OF the Constit,i-
tion of the U. S. A.
A rolling Tract Of about 80 Acres
was leased for 80 years and the
Cows were moved out. When the
Golf Architect submitted his Blue
Prints for a 9-hole Course and
Workmen began to build a Club
House. which was practically a Ball
Room with Porch In front Of IL,
then the Die was cast, the Doom OF
the Victims was sealed and all of
the Socially Important got ready to
commune with Nature and Profan-
ity and Bridge Whist.
The Golf Course still looked like
Pasture but the would-be White
mans began TO tighten up the Rivets
on their SaxOphones and what used
to he known as Fish Fry became
a Dinner Dance. and all those who