The Coolidge examiner., 1933-04-21

which you are boosting so strong
you and others couldn't take a Full
Breath but you were Nice Girls. And
you Were concealed within ruffled
Balloons which trailed on the
Ground behind you. kicking up the
Dust and collecting 100000 Germs
every Day"
Il will admit that we tried to
hide our Ankles" said the Old
Lady. "At Least we tried TO hide
Something. Ii seems to me that
People could find out in the News.
papers about you girls wearing
Boomers without you proving IL
To them. And just because you have
shed your Corset, is that any Rea-
son why you should be a Contortion.
list every time you dance? Is II
absolutely necessary that you should
attempt to crawl into the Gentle
mans Vest Pocket? And is Ii be
cause you are afraid of catching
Cold that you make Ii impossible
for any draft TO come between
you? am petrified Fossil. propped
up on the Side-Lines. and tolerated
because I own a little Real Estate
and | am % Miles behind the Pa
rade. but am asking just the
same"
There is no use trying to ex-
plain 10 a Has-Been," said little
Geneyieve, wearily. II suppose we
should all wear something with
lace at the bottom and sit by Our
selves. over in a Corner waiting for
the Gentlemen to bring US some
Chicken salad, but them Days are
gone forever. You can probably re-
member when the principal Instru-
ment in the Orchestra was the Flute
and The Blue Danube was Hot
Digglty-Dog. Likewise the Lancers,
which l would classify as the Zero
of Indoor Sports"
Everything which happened be-
fore this year is evidently Anti
quated and n. c." said Grandmoth-
er. II will admit that the 0rches-
ira which used to play for our
Dances did not have any Steamboat
Whistle or Derby Hat. But they
made lovely Music. And when /
say Music, mean Music. / don't
mean an imitation of a dying Pig
or a busy Day at the Insane Asy-
lum. Furthermore. any Gentleman
who came to Party all lit up like
a Cathedral would have been given
the Gate. Nowadays all of our Best
Young People gather around him
and give Three Hearty Cheers and
then follow him to the Cloak Room.
It's a terrible Situation"
Grandma Takes the Count.
"It sure Is" agreed Genevieve.
Most of the stuff is synthetic. By
the way, Granny. now that you are
all wound up. why don't you bawl
me out for being a Bob? Go on and
tell about the Good Old Days when
every Gal had Horses Tail hang
Ing down her Back, and when she
did II up she put In couple of Soft
Pillows and then wore Rhine
Stone Comb, just to make the
While Thing more blah. Then, after
she got an 1S-inch Hat, with a
Kitchen Garden around the Terrace
and a Velvet Bow on Top, and
clasped on her Cameo Brooch and
pulled out her Puff Sleeves. II she
wasn't a Gawk you're crazy. A
Woman had so much Junk about
her Shoulders In those days. 1t gave
her the Neck-Ache to carry 1t
around. Yes. indeed. the Snappy
Days of Yorel Give the Sweet
Young Thing Buggy Ride and a
Bah of Popcorn and she'll be con-
tented for several days. | figure
that. to please the superannuated
Fogles. all of us blue-eyed Bessies
should go back to playing Charades
and working Cardboard Notices.
Also ride In victorias. have Taffy
pull once In while, and take Les
sons on the Harp. We must be
rather Hough House, as | learn that
we are being criticized severely by
all those who are cheating the Old
Peoples Home by running around
on the Outside. They have talked
necessarily for a number of Years,
but they have not, so far as | can
learn, headed off single Petting
Party. / must now leave you to
play IS holes. attend a couple of
Teas. take in shake-up Party at
a mans apartment, dine at Road
House and dance all night at the
Cross Eyed Goose. II the Police
don't get me. I'll see you Tomorrow
at this hour"
Saying which she departed, leaT-
ing Grandma on the Ropes.
MORAL: Do not repress the joy
Gus, criminal Instincts of Youth.