The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1933-06-30

thar he Is reverting to the aboriginal
type and the Neighbors say that his
Parents have neglected his bringing-up
But Griswold and all of the other
Juvenile Apaches know that they are
trying, with all of their boyish
Strength. to live up to the Teachings
of that Powerful but Secret Frater-
nifty of which every restless Kid is a
loyal Member. They are trying to be
True Sports because they know there
is an Unwritten Law to the Effect that
the No Goods will be ostracized,
scoffed at and branded as Mollycod-
dies.
his Foot on the Rail and try his
darnedest to Drink a Glass of Lager
without making a Face? Because he
had learned that he had to burst
through the swinging Doors and
pound on the Bar In order to acquire
real Standing as One of the Boys. He
didn't have any more Craving for Beer
than had the other thousands of daunt-
less Heroes who tried to consume it
before ii was driven across the River
to Windsor. 1t tasted like Spoiled
Rain Water with a Pickle in it. As
for Red Stuff. the first Swig of that
was like swallowing a Kerosene Torch.
Even after he had acquired the
Standard Vices, ii became evident to
Griz that he would not be regarded as
a True Sport unless he could hang up
a Performance such as one of the Fol-
lowing:
l. Sit In the same Chair for IA
Hours playing Draw and then appear
unconcerned after being nicked for
Months Salary.
2. Go to the Race Track and listen
to tout and plaster all the Currency
on a Crippled Goat that comes in just
before they are starting the next race.
3. Slip out at Night and attend
Wild Party at which great Sums of
Money are devoted to the Purchase
of Partridges and Champagne for
Ladies connected with the Theatrical
Profession who were brought up on
Soda Biscuits and Young Hyson Tea.
4. Feed the Rent Money to a Rou-
lette Wheel.
5. Bet in a Loud Voice on every
Election Result.
6. Never, under any circumstances,
express a willingness to terminate a
Party and go Home
Giving Credit Where It's Due.
1t is no easy matter for Man who
is trying to get Football in the Bust
ness World to perform all of the blith-
ering idiocies involved in the forego-
ing Tasks.
The Point is that when it comes to
being a real, sure-enough hot Sport
the Rules of Common Sense do not
apply. There are certain Traditions
and Precedents which must be OBJ
served. One must know how to part
with large Hunk of Money and never
bat an Eye. If the Money really be-
longs to the Creditors, that makes
no difference. Usually it does.
Well, Griswold kept on being True
Sport until he nearly ruined his
Health, so now he is living out In
the Country and letting somebody else
buy Diamond Sunbursts for the
Wives of BoOtleggers.
Some people think he is Has-Been,
but he got quite Thrill the other
Day when he tried to make 200-Yard
Shot, over Water, with a Niblick. He
was Rotten and the Divot went almost
as far as the Ball, but he was very
much pleased to hear Spectator say:
well, you've got to give the Old Bird
credit for One Thing. He's got his
Nerve with him. He's Sport"
Which is true. Probably they will
put it on the Head-Stone that he was
Real One up to the Time that his
Stomach, and Nerves and Pocket Book
gave out.
MORAL: Better ride in an Ambu-
lance than be known as Piker.