Evening star., 1933-09-20
OUR CHILDREN
BY ANGELO PATRI.

HLDREN are quick to learn
that they can use words TO
shade facts. Sometimes, to be
sure, they use them to blot out
facts. This is according TO
their necessity.
I think that little children. those
under 5 or thereabouts, do not lie from
choice as between truth and untrutn.
They lie to shade effects and they lie to
save themselves from pain and trouble.
In either situation the child feels q
necessity to change the situation to MS
liking. He has no knowledge OF the
Implication of truth and untruth.
The lonely child will color q tale to
| catch the attention Of the too-much-
occupied adult. He quickly discovers
that q certain style of address and q
particular type of tale will capture and
hold the audience, even bring 1t to the
point Of dramatic expression.
John Steven George, how can you
stand there and tell me such lie?" may
sound like a terrible denunciation to
the startled parent but to John 1t Is
triumph. His art has succeeded. 1t
brought excitement and thrilling re-
sponse.
Don't imagine that a spanking will
cure him of this form Of expression be-
cause it will not. What cures him is
conviction that he can secure attention
and hold it better and with pleasanter
results in other ways. So far the dra-
matte lie was the only resource he had.
Supply him with companionship, occu-
patton, praise and applause and he will
forget this undesirable appeal.
The necessity to save himself from
punishment or pain, and remember that
mental pain Is worse than physical in
many situations, causes him to adjust
facts and shade effects and lie. Pun
ishment will not cure this, either. It
will make 1t worse because it gives him
more reason to save himself. Faith in
your helpfulness, justice and mercy will
do more to cure him Of this form Of
lying than all the punishment you can
invent and administer. Fear makes a
child lie and confidence helps him to be
truthful. He would rather be truthful
than not.
There are lies that should trouble US
lot. When an adolescent tells lies we
can be sure of one of two things. We
have forced him to cover his life from
our eyes, or he is failing to hold his
own and is trying desperately to save
his face. In either case he needs our
understanding help. II we have set
our faces too sternly against his youth
full gestures and clumsy attempts at hv-
1ng, we will have to change our attitude
and offer him sympathetic understand
ing and help. II he is falling we will
have to help him by adjusting things
more to his ability and taste.
Don't go to pieces when you discover
that boy or girl has seemingly
planned course Of deception. No child
does that. Something happens that
makes him afraid. He doesn't want
you to know that he has failed in
French, or that he missed a class. or
that he was sent home from school, so
he does his childish best to conceal his
errors Once he starts he can't STOP
He didn't know that lie has no reality
and can have no positive result. He just
had to keep on getting somewhere.
When this happens. be patient. Search
for the cause and remedy it and try to
arrange matters between yourself and
your child so that he will be confident
of your support even though he has
made a mistake. He would rather be
truthful than not.