The Kennewick courier-reporter. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1914-1938, 1933-03-30
The Fable Of the
Bust-Oyer
g
~ GEORGE ADE
...,, syndIcate.,-wNu Service.

nNHERE 10 -. .t,,> IJ.,I
every old Nag slips the Hal
I TOR at least Once turing the
,r Season. Suggesting that
Cio the most docile Work Animal
Eve gets tired of Juggling
ns IN the Harness and having
: !, "a sorts of Drivers yelling Giddaps
lt him. r-.,, 7
uhamm II would be difficult to find
more domesticated and tamed
md Dobbin. It just seemed that
10 had been dropped down to the
rarth in order to do all OF I the
Heavy pulling for Elvira ana the
two Debs and the soft-collared Al"
.entine Prince who was Heir Az
eorent and didn't work at anything
eI.e seldom calling for his Cofee
before 10 A. NJ.
ANY down-trodden Money-Grup
hor who has three Gimmies to keep
IN fine Raiment and Lavender Wa,
FOR and high-powered Cars and
whatever One happens to see In
sbop Windows, seldom is inclined
n learn the Saxophone, eat Welsh
Rarebits at 2 g.sm. or devote Hours
TO penetrating the hidden Myster
les of the Charleston.
Therefore. Mr.. Whamm, aside
from being a Meal Ticket. was SO
far as the other Whamms were con-
..rned just Comic Strip. They
ngured that he had only two Ac-
complishments. He could make
Money and Social Errors. His
place was In the Background ex-
cent when 1t was time to write
checks. The ideal Arrangement
would have been to keep him In q
Cage somewhere and let him pass
mt the Needful through the Bars.
Grooming Up Papa.
You can imagine the Consterna-
ton which prevailed among the
Whamms as the time drew near for
Mrs, Chauncey WainWright's an
nual Bid for Publicity. Mid-Win-
ter. about the time that Folks
were recovering from the Holidays,
Mrs. w. threw Party which was a
combination of Reception, Dance,
Street Carnival and Indian Upris-
ing. The principal Idea was to
make the World sit up and take
notice and she got her Wish.
1t was the kind of Party which
no Woman could attend unless she
had Everything new including that
which does not show; Intentionally.
1t was the sort of Celebration for
which the Participants go into
L training. usually sleeping all of the
Day before. 1t was organized to
turn Night into Day. What you
might designate as a Wow.
What worried the Whamms was
that Papa would be compelled to
attend the Doings, because Mrs.
Chauncey Wainwright's Mother had
been Whamm and the Hostess
had exacted a solemn Promise that
Irving would be brought along, she
evidently laboring under the Delu-
sion that he was a Human Being.
He told Serena, otherwise known
as Mrs. Wainwright, that he would
check in early. wearing a Boyish
Bob and some Sleigh Bells.
The Wife and the two Lip-Stick-
ers and the proud Aristocrat with
Glue on his Hair started in two
Weeks ahead to warn him and pre-
pare him. They told him that this
was going to be real Party, with
Palms in the Corner. Chicken
Salad, Punch Bowl. and Every.
thing like that. The Guests were
not expected to pull Taffy. pop
Corn or play kissing Games. It
was suggested to Mr.. Whamm that
ne had better not wear his Com
forter and Yarn Mittens and to be
sure and remove his Ear-Mnffs be-
fore entering the Ball Room.
straw That Broke the Mays Back.
Susie. the elder of the two Junior
Feminine Liabilities, asked him II
ne knew what kind of Tie went
Win Full Dress and did he have
any Studs other than the Little
wooden Ones sent back by the
Laundry? Chlorine. the Younger.
legged him. for the love of ST. PAT.
rlck. not to wear heavy Street
Snoes with the conventional Re
sauna sa.ia and II he had to appear In
.ne OLD Dress Suit. purchased when
.he reception was given to presi-
neh' Taff. for the Sake of his Fam
' 10 remain backed up against
ings. ' : ioeeeu'
lou Know. of course" said the
noa, looking down at him from
neignts above. "that there will ho
no square Dances-not even a yir.
s r;, heel. II you are wise you
WI, take that new Sabatini Book
n you and remain in the Upper
,sr'ment where the Gentlemen
their Things '
They hoped him lust once TOO 90,
nnan iney rode him ragged and
- ais ne Bucked AS he retreat