The Coolidge examiner., 1933-03-10
The Fable of Her
Folks and His
Folks
g
By GEORGE ADE
g. Bell syndicate.-wNU Service.

feared, Relatives. The Man lived in
a cOming-Along Town and had an
Income and knew how to put up a
Front. He had made himself a
| Parsonage not to be sneeZed at.
The Missus knew how to Super
intend a Home and regulate the two
Olive Branches and wear Clothes
and talk at Club Meetings, so that
she could have been designated,
without EXaggeration, as Some
| PunkinS.
Now, because Ralph and Jessie
had both qualified for the Majors
and were batting above 300 the
Kin on both sides of the Fence paid
| them some Attention, often dropping
in at the House to spend a few min
utes and then hanging around for
two or three days.
1t is a well-known Fact that when
Person gets married nowadays
and later finds out that he has mar
ried Only One, it is almost a Mira
Gle. If we were to omit from the
Social Register the Names of those
who become important by reason Of
Somebody Else, there would be
many vacant Pages.
Ralph didn't like to open up on
her Family and she would have pre-
ferred to spare his Feelings and
not dig any Dirt regarding his low
down Connections, but sometimes
Forbearance ceases to be con-
venient.
Passing the Icy Stare.
1t was at Breakfast and Ralph
just happened to ask, in a nice Way,
If her Brother Lem, who was Wis
iting them. had come up for Air.
Lem had recently severed all con-
nections with one Of our leading
Universities. He had been in such
a Hurry to get an Education that
he had not waited to take his De-
gree but had boarded a Train after
learning practically all that there
was to be learned, the Faculty con-
curing, heartily.
Several of the learned Profess
sions were bidding for his Services
and in the meantime he was board
ing with Sister because she set an
awful good Table and the Rate was
Nothing per week and he liked the
large Guest Chamber and the kind
of Cigarettes that Ralph smoked.
Hubby precipitated the Armaged-
don by expressing Regret that he
was compelled to hurry away to
his Office, knowing, as he did, that
1t would be Etiquette for him to
stick around until about IL 80 G. NJ.
so as to take Breakfast with the
Honored Guest.
"If my Brothers Presence In this
House Is distasteful to you, / shall
ask him to leave" said Jessie, be-
slowing a frigid look on the Brute.
Not at ALL" he replied 1T
wouldn't seem like Home without
him. Only, l am wondering If, when
you accepted me. you were lnflu-
enced by the Fact that practically
Everything | wear will fit your
Brother and often does"
Lem is a Dear Boy" said Jessie,
with a tinge of Feeling. 1T is a
Pleasure to have Some One around
this House who does not put in all
of his Time hanging Crepe. And
while you are panning my Kid
Brother, don't forget that I had
your Sister on my Hands for Six
Weeks up in the Country last Sum-
mer and I'll tell the squint-eyed
World it was Some Contract. I am
not saying that Rowena is shy any
Buttons or should be locked up, or
anything like that. but do know
that anyone who goes blooey on
Spiritualism and wants to turn
down the Lights and pull Seance
every few Minutes is no Playmate
for Yours Truly"
Homeless Skeleton With a Waist
Line.
speaking Of Sisters" said Ralph,
pouring a third Cup Of Coffee, ut
is about time for Mirabella to check
In and give us a lot of trade. 1
long to have her tell me how she
puiovS Concerts and the ODpra The
mere Fact that she does not know
the Difference between The Meister-
singer and the Marx Brothers does
not seem to cramp her Eloquence
at all. / never have met Any One
who could talk, at such great
Length, on Topics Of which she Is
totally in the Dark"
Let US have an Understanding"
said Jessie, planting her Elbows on
the Table. IF this is to be Battle
to a Finish, and we are going to
permit hitting in the Clinches, 1 will
call attention to the Fact that you
have an Uncle Robert. from the
West, who came as near ss any,
one could to making a Dump of our
supposedly respectable Home.
When I married you, Uncle was not
in the Contract a'tall. He is, take
it, your Family Skeleton, although
1t is hard to think of a Skeleton
weighing 220 Pounds. When the