davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star., 1933-04-07

Tired Of humorous garden books?
There has been Q flood Of them re-
Gently, each seemingly bent on finding
gardening funnier than It's predecessor
No doubt there Is plenty Of humor in
. garden, If one looks for it, but why
should one look for it?
There are 50 many places when sheer
fun Is so much funnier that 1t would
seem to be utterly unnecessary to seek
it in the garden.
This tendency is $50 human" some
one says; but there is a great deal Of
Stiffness in human nature, after all. and
In nothing Is it better shown, perhaps,
than in this incessant search for witt
cisns.
Viewed as it is, q flower seed is not in
the least witty.
There is nothing to evoke a smile
about lilac bush.
The growing grass, clothing the ugly
earth (no matter how good) with the
freshest green, wears no visage Of grim
ace.
Happiness there is in all these things,
as viewed by humanity, but where is the
laughter?
Laughing, and all its attributes, is an
added touch in Nature, contributed, one
=.
There Is no occasion for humor in the
garden.
If it arises naturally and spontane-
ously, it has its place. in the garden
as elsewhere.
If it is dragged in by the back Of the
neck, as it Is in some Of these garden
books, 1t Is q weariness to the gardening
flesh.
AS for thc -ardening mind, it posi-
lively knows nothing Of fun and happi-
ness, as related to the humorous slant.
For happiness does not require
laughter.
No greater mistake has ever been
made, some think, than that of requir-
ing the smile, the grimace, the hearty
laugh, in order to achieve happiness.
Here again one finds that old failing
Of mankind, the desire to show off,"
cropping out.
It sticks up its ugly head for us
to admire, and some Of us want to
kill 1t.
Some one has said that the trouble
with the United States today Is that
there are too many smart alecks"
In 1t.
4luS SpCClIIlcu Ol IluIIldIllty ID IlO
different from any one else, except in
one regard, that he has been misled to
belive that humor ought to be found
in everything and everywhere.
Hence we have the spectacle of sacred
things regarded in the light of levity,
serious matters Knocked and made fun
of, all for the sake Of cheap smile.
It won't do, and every one knows it
won't in the bottom of his heart and
mind.
It is too cheap, too i'll bred, too lack
ing in that fine human quality, SYM
pathy for others.
The tendency toward a puerile form
Of quasi -humor in some of our garden
ing books Is merely q pandering to the
smart aleck" readers.
Everybody knows what smart aleck
is; no definition is necessary.
Perhaps for him the attempt to turn
everything into some sort of joke, even
If a very poor one, Is necessary, but for
the rest of us it is wasted energy.
He had better spend it in doing
bit more work on his lawn, or plant
ing ivy, or even the common honey
suckle on that ugly mud bank beneath
his hedge.
Evening star., 1933-04-07

1t Is urged In the Senate that short
working day is likely to injure the can
ming industry. Any good housewife will
testify that it is dangerous to take the
master mind of duty when the kettle
Is hot. Scientific canning" is said to
be receiving special study among those
who are contemplating the Government
pay roll with an eye to politics as well as
preserves.
Evening star., 1933-04-07
Election Costs.

From the Omaha Evening World-Herald.
State legislator proposes to cut the
cost Of Omaha elections Disillusioned
voters know that 1t isn't the original
cost of getting the men into ONCE, but
the upkeep. that hurts.
Evening star., 1933-04-07
The Best Remedy.

From the Fort Worth star-Telegram.
Next years Pan-American Medical
Association Convention will be held on
shipboard. Wasted time. They can't
find a better remedy for seasickness
than sitting beneath tree, even though
they be heavily scientific.
Evening star., 1933-04-07

The theory that posterity objects to
being taxed is not upheld by the patient
attitude of this new generation toward
the expenses Of the Great War In Eu-
rope. aF
Evening star., 1933-04-07

It Is assumed that an interview by
Premier Macdonald with President
Roosevelt will have to do with world
economics, but no confident prediction
is ventured as to what either will have
to say.
Evening star., 1933-04-07

Reforestation is work that calls Pc
culiarly for human energy and intelli-
gence, in order to provide against the
dangerous plans Of that devastating
robot, the sawmill.
Evening star., 1933-04-07
SHOOTING STARS.
BY PHILANDER JOHNSON.

Philanthropist-
My dentist Is noble soul
Who manages to lend
A greater sense Of self-control
To some dear, trusting friend.
When great anxieties expand
About the worlds affairs,
I'll 60 to see my dentist-and
Forget my other cares.
Perhaps he can improve my smile,
Which out Of practice grew,
And let me have speaking style
With no words whistling through.
New words of pain at his command
With speedy skill he shows.
I'll 60 to see my dentist-and
Forget my other woes.
Evening star., 1933-04-07

Hilarity was not encouraged on the
opening night of beer SALE At the out
set 1t was deemed desirable to admonish
old Gambrinus that he is expected to
walk q straight line.
Evening star., 1933-04-07

China Is preparing to build new rail-
roads and is no doubt. taking all pos
sible steps to prevent shrewd japanese
manipulators from watering the stock
In advance.
Evening star., 1933-04-07
Customer Ownership.

From the Rochester Times Union.
More women than men own telephone
stock, which, Of course, Is perfectly all
right and 100 per cent consistent with
the customer ownership idea.
Evening star., 1933-04-07

There are still few Democrats who
are willing to interrupt the idealist pro-
gram with . cold-blooded inquiry as to
when the patronage will begin.
Evening star., 1933-04-07
Rate BY Carrier Within the City.
Rate by Mail-Payable In Advance.
All Other States and Canada.
r-.nber of the Associated Press

The Associated Press Is exclusively entitled
20 the use for republication of all news dis
patches credited to 1t or not otherwise cred
tied in this paper and also the local news
published herein All rights of publication OF
special dispatches herein are also reserved.
Evening star., 1933-04-07
Hasty.

From the Santa Fe New Mexican.
A New Yorker would divorce his wife
who left him A years ago, which shows
now impatient men are nowadays. She
may merely have gone shopping or 70
Evening star., 1933-04-07

A discussion Of reciprocal agreements
may be politely mentioned where q ref
erence to swapping" would inevitably
be regarded rs curt and undiplomatic.
Evening star., 1933-04-07
The Farm Job.

From the San Antonio Evening News.
Under the Bankhead bill Uncle Sam
would have farm for every jobless
man. Certainly the man who accepted
one would have q job on his hands.
Evening star., 1933-04-07
A New Golden Rule.

From the Fort Worth Star Telegram.
In other words, the big idea Is to do
unto banks as you would that banks
should do unto you, 20 when you grow
old the banks viii not depart there
Evening star., 1933-04-07

Henry Ford Is decidedly q power In
Michigan, but the vote there on prohibi-
ton disposes Of any apprehension that
he might become a political dictator.
Evening star., 1933-04-07

A few financiers have shown an in
clination to get as far as possible from
a gold standard and do business on a
basis of frozen water.
Evening star., 1933-04-07
Now a Bushleaguer.

From the Roanoke Times.
Japan has withdrawn from the
League of Nations. Well, we don't think
they would have won the pennant even
If they had stayed in.
Evening star., 1933-04-07

The man who is willing to chop wood
for his food and shelter is to be given
a chance at useful and practical service
by the reforestation program.
Evening star., 1933-04-07
Optinnist.

From the Pasadena Post.
The elder Rockefeller believes that
he will live to be 100, and Is so cheer
full about 1t as to indicate that he ex-
poets his supply Of dimes to last that
Evening star., 1933-04-07
Thirst and Planes.

From the Boston Globe.
Legislators urge ban on perpendicu-
lar drinking. but 1t Is hoped that there
viii be minimum OF horizontal drink
ing. too.
Evening star., 1933-04-07

Germany may yet find a way to get
Einstein back home and give Hitler
taste for travel.
Evening star., 1933-04-07
Gardening.
Discordance.

What do you think of the professors
idea that we ought to regard beer merely
another kind Of soda water?" asked the
travelling salesman.
1T can't be done," answered Cactus
Joe. Il never in my life met man who
could enjoy pretzel with soda water" I"
1T is not easy to succeed by dattery,"
said Hi Ho, the sage of Chinatown. 1.-THE
art is easily initiated and the competi-
ton is therefore most intense"
Evening star., 1933-04-07
Problem Broadened.

Problem Broadened.
"One Of the industrial problems, re-
marked the readymade philosopher, "is
the white-collar man."
"The problem grows broader" rejoined
Senator Sorghum, "since breweries have
gone back to work and includes the
white-apron man."
Jud Tlnk1ns says every man has enc
mics. But they needn't make him un-
happy so long as he Is sure he has none
he can't lick.
Gardening.
To gardening we turn our dreams,
Lies pleasures to enhance.
Even the old beer garden seems
To have another chance.
Evening star., 1933-04-07

Starting . Scare.
We always ind.
Amid content
Some human mind
On mischief bent.
When we rejoice
In peace anew
Some pranksome voice
Will holler boo"
Evening star., 1933-04-07

"speakin' Of supply and demand"
said Uncle Eben. "dar 10 always enough
foolishness dan anybody needs left over
frou tha fpst e Apgtle .A..I.-.<.--.-.
Evening star., 1933-04-07

@. What caused the triumph of the
high protective tariff in 1816?-A. e.
A. The agricultural States of what
was at that time the West, namely
Ohio and Kentucky, were won to the
side Of the high tariff by the home
market" argument, the essence of
which was that protection through
Evening star., 1933-09-28
WATSON SCORES
ROOSEVELT AIDES
Declares Certain Group
Seeks to "Sovietize Ameri-
can Government"

BY the Associated Press.
CHICAGO, September 28.-Certain
advisers of President Roosevelt were
assailed by former Senator James E.
Watson. Republican, of Indiana at a
local party rally, for what he said. was
an attempt to overthrow capitalism
and sovietize the American Govern
ment"
The one time Hoosier solon, for years
leader in Republican ranks in the
Senate until his defeat last November.
did not mention names of the men he
held responsible as he voiced bitter
attack on the Democratic regime at
the Hamilton Club yesterday.
His remarks were based on dispatches
of September 8 quoting Louis p. Alber.
chief of the speakers division of the
national recovery act, as saying a
primer of the N. r. A. and the Roose-
velt program will be sent into the
schools of the country"
THE N. r. A. was set up to employ
labor. increase wages and enhance the
purchasing power Of the people" said
Watson. What on earth has a primer
Evening star., 1933-09-28
in the public schools to do with these

in the public schools to do with these
questions?"
The only explanation he said he could
give was that certain gentlemen sur
rounding the PreMdent-and believe
without his sanction or authority-are
attempting to carry the provisions Of
this law into realms it was never in
tended to enter, namely, the entire So
cialization of industry In the United
States, the overthrow Of capitalism and
the sovietization Of the American Gov
ernment."
Then he accused the administration
Of failing to reduce governmental costs,
Of failure to maintain q stable currency
and Of failure to prevent undermining
OF Government credit, and said the
agricultural relief plan went far beyond
Republican proposals, which, he said,
brought such strong criticism . year
ago.
Evening star., 1933-09-28
GERMAN MOVE AGAINST
SWITZERLAND is DENIED
President Of Little Republic Tells
National Council Of
Conferences.

BY the Associated Press.
BERNE, Switzerland, September 2s.
DIR. Giuseppe Motta. President Of
Switzerland, told the National Council
yesterday that Foreign Minister Won
Neurath and Joseph Goebbels, minister
Of propaganda in the Hitler govern
ment, had protested to him at Geneva
that the present German policy was In
no way turned against Switzerland.
He said Goebbels added that for Ger
many to pretend to absorb all the peo-
pies of the German race and language
would be q risky policy and would bring
her into conflict with q great number Of
states.
He said the German ministers ex-
pressed sincere regrets over recent
frontier and other incidents to which
he called to their attention.
Evening star., 1933-09-28
ANSWERS CHARGE
Secretary of New United ireland
PARTY Surrenders to Court.

Secretary of New United ireland
Party Surrenders to Court.
DUBLIN, Irish Free State, September
% &.-Comdr. z. j. Cronin, general
secretary Of the new United Ireland
party. voluntarily appeared today be-
fore q military tribunal to answer
charges In connection with . recent
cattle sale in Dublin.
Comdr Cronin for several days had
successfully evaded arrest by Free State
police. He appeared this morning at
the Collins Barracks here.
He was charged with being a member
Of an organization advocating encour-
agement for the non-payment Of rates.
Three others, including the chairman
of the Tipperary Council, Patrick Bel
ton, went before the tribunal on like
charges.
Evening star., 1933-09-28
Frigidaire Sales Corporation

S. Kann Sons Co.
0th st. and Market Space NV.
BrookIand Hardware Co.
350I I2th st. NE.
J.. E. Collins
1929 H st. NE.
n. B. Leary, Jr. & Bros.
1919 U st. NV.
L. p. Steuart, Inc.
144O p st. NV.
Lewis Electric Co.
39I9 Window Pl. NV.
Gardner-S Stuart Motor Co.
$50 H st. NE.
M, L. Hamburger Go.
So8 10th st. NV.
Imperial Valley press., 1933-06-05
AUTO THIEVES
GET SIX CARS

Automobile thieves were more
than ordinarily active in the county
over the weekend, according to re-
ports filed at the sheriff's office,
six cars having been stolen during
mat time.
Jose De Leon. Santa Ana, report
cd that his Dodge touring car was
stolen in CaleXico, Saturday night.
A Ford coach registered TO Bob
Slee, Brawley, was stolen in that
city Saturday night, another report
states. A Ford truck, belonging 10
Frank Chaplin, Fl Centro, was
stolen in Calexico, Saturday night.
w. Z. Tyler, of Cahpatria, re-
ported that his Chrysler coach was
stolen in Calipatria early yesterday
morning while a Chrysler coupe,
the property of b. S. Walker was
stolen in AlgaGones yesterday af-
ternoon. The last report states
that a Ford roadster registered to
B. l. Bowling, Imperial, was stolen
in CeleXico yesterday evening.
Imperial Valley press., 1933-06-05
NEW YORK FANS HOPING TO
HAVE ENTIRE WORLD SERIES

adelphia twice, strengthening their
American league lead.
Only Lefty ODoul's home run in
the fourth inning of the night cap
saved the Dodgers from a pair of
shut-outs, as the Giants beat them
2 to 0 in the opener behind Hal
Schumacher'S three hit pitching,
and to l in the second contest,
when Freddie FitZSimmons gave
out only four hits.
St. Louis dropped five points be-
hind the Giants after splitting a
twin bill with Cincinnati. A three
run rally in the eighth gave the
Cards a 4 to 2 victory in the first
game. but the Reds came back to
take the sleeper, 6 to 2, aided by a
four-run burst in the fifth. Jim
Bottomley had a perfect day at
bat in this game with two singles,
a double and a triple.
Pirates Drop
Pittsburgh dropped from a Sec
ond place tie to third position by
splitting two games with Chicago.
A seven run uprising in the ninth
gave the Pirates the opener, to
8. The Cubs won the night cap, 8
to 2.
Boston and Philadelphia also di-
vided honors, the Phillies blank
ing the braves, l to 0 in the first
game. The braves pounded four
Philadelphia pitchers for Is hits to
take the second contest, 9 to 6.
In the American league, the
Yanks made it five in a row over
the Athletics by beating them 3 to
2 and 6 to 0. Johnny Allen held the
AS to one lone single by Ed Cole
man in the night cap, striking out
II batsmen, and the Yanks made
five runs in the eighth. Russell
Van Alta bested Merritt Sugar"
Cain in a mound duel in the first
game.
In the only single bill of the day,
Washington nosed out Boston, 4
to 3, in the 18th when Ossie Bluege'S
single drove home Fred Schultz.
Cleveland and Detroit divided a
double program, the Indians win
ming the first, 2 to |, and the IT.
gers taking the night cap, to 3.
Chicago replaced Philadelphia at
fourth position by beating st. Louis
twice, 13 to 6, in the first contest
and 10 to in the finale.
Imperial Valley press., 1933-06-05
PACIFIC COAST
LEAGUE GAMES
By United Press

The Sacramento Senators moved
into higher ground by routing the
Mission Reds In six out of eight
games, two of which victories came
in Sundays competition. Sacra-
mento bats were active, walloping
a total of "a hits. Borja, Solon CEN
terfielder, drove out five hits in as
many trips to the plate.
The leading Portland Beavers
split even with Los Angeles, WIN
ming the first game behind Kallio's
steady pitching, to 2, and drop
ping the second IL to 0. Hermann
allowed only five hits in the night
cap Oglesby featured Los Angeles
victory with three doubles and a
single. Lillard hit a homer in the
opener.
Ray Jacobs, Hollywood first
baseman, clouted his 21st home
run of the season as the Stars were
defeating Oakland, II to 5. The Sec
end game was washed out. Carlyle
was the hero Of the Hollywood at
tack with four hits, including a no.
mer and triple. The single tri-
umph preserved the Stars position
as runners-up, one game behind
Portland.
San Francisco batted out II to
5 opening victory but failed to solve
Imperial Valley press., 1933-06-05
IS
PICKED To WIN

NEW YORK, June 5. U.P) - Max
Schmeling will launch his campaign
to regain the heavyweight cham
pionship Thursday night in l5-
rounder against Make Baer at
Yankee stadium, the feature Of the
rational boxing program for the
week.
The German slugger is a 2 to l
favorite 10 beat Baer, despite the
latter's advantage OF youth, weight,
reach and harder wallop.
Baer is "a, three years younger
than the black Uhlan; he has an
advantage of an inch and a half
in height and five in reach; he will
weigh about 208 pounds, 18 moro
than the former champion. How
ever, Schmeling is favored because
of his superior boxing ability anG
bis greater experience against first
class opposition.
Another major bout on the week S
program pits Seaman Tom Watson
of England, featherweight champion
of the British empire, against Tom
my Paul, former N. 2. A feather
king, in Paul's home town, Buffalo,
N. Y, Friday night. They are
slated for 10 rounds. Paul also
meets Jackie Wilson al Pittsburgh
tonight
Imperial Valley press., 1933-06-05
San Diego Team
viii Ploy Here

Led by their star hurler, Al Com
stock, Urban's Outlaws of San Di-
ego will arrive here Friday morn
ing to play against the Imperial
Valley All Stars on the Wilson
school field, Friday night.
Comstock has been almost invin-
chile in the last few games played
in San Diego, his most outstanding
feat being the shutout he gave the
Ell Cajon All Stars two weeks ago.
In that game he held his oppon-
ents hitleSS and struck out 26
of the 81 men to face him.
Joe Hurst will probably be chosen
as the valley twirler to oppose Com
stock Friday night, and those who
have seen Hurst in the night ball
league games SO far this season
know that he pitches a top-notch
brand of ball This ought to make
Friday nights game classic for
when two good pitchers like Hurst
and Comstock lock horns the re-
Imperial Valley press., 1933-06-05
CALEX|C0 BOY
JUN|0RCHA|NP

Imperial Valleys athletic stock
received another fine boost Satur-
day at Santa Barbara, when Alton
SO Morales, of Calexico, won the
Junior title in the Southern Cali
fornia Junior Pentathlon. Elmo
Calls of Ojai took senior honors.
Morales tailed ALSO points
against 4,707 for Billy Bearden, Los
Angeles county champion.
The Calexico boy won the ball
put with a heave of 80 feet IL in.
and the broad jump with a leap of
II it. l in, placed second in the
high jump at 4 ft. 10 in, and in the
SO yard dash with a time of 6.4
seconds, took fourth place in the
basketball toss with a total of 20
baskets. Morales was the only entry
in the Junior division of the pen
tathlon to win two events.
Morales, Calexico school boy,
won the Imperial county champion
ship in competition here two weeks
ago.
Imperial Valley press., 1933-06-05

Bobby Pacho, former state light
weight champion, and Imperial VAL
ley'S favorite boxer, heads the bill
at the Imperial Valley Athletic club
Friday night, with Alex Hadrian,
of San Diego, as his opponent in a
10 round bout.
Hadrian is regarded as tough
man for Pacho. Two months ago
the San Diego boy met Peter Jack
son, state champion, at San Diego,
the referee halting the match when
Hadrian sustained a badly cut ear.
Up to that time he had given the
champion plenty of trouble.
Grant Willardson and Guy Nc
Kinney, two San Diego middle
weights who have put on several
rousing bouts in San Diego, will
continue their feud here, being
booked for the six round semi-final.
Memo Perez and Manuel Ruiz,
featherweights, will be seen in a
six round special and the opener
will bring together Eddie ONeil and
frankie Brown at 122 pounds.
Imperial Valley press., 1933-06-05
TODAYS
SPORT APARADE.
AS&yAAl)s3 s3sa5hAS|lGRt 5
NAIVS TXzZ252SSv

Pyle's transcontinental foot race
Bill, who handled the publicity,
said he ruined the events chances
of success when he nicknamed it
the bunion derby The public
never took the race seriously after
that
Homer Griffith of U. S. c., the
outstanding quarterback on the Pa
cific coast, sings with a dance Or
chestra. radio broadcasts and all
Those who have heerd him still
swear he's rs good a signal-caller
as there is III the business .
ShoItstops and second basemen of
big league calibre are sadly lacking
in the college ranks this season.
according to Ira P. Thomas. coach
and scout for the Philadelphia Ath-
letics Thomas says there is no
end of outfieloers and pitchers but
that :nflelcers are as scarce as
golden wedding anniversaries in
Beverly Hills
Imperial Valley press., 1933-06-05
SHIRER TEAM
AND FAT BOYS
MEET TONIGHT

Snirer Drug night ball team has
a chance to take sole possession OF
first place in The league standing;
when they meet the Fat Boys tc-
night at Wilson tield. AT present
the Druggists are tied for top hon
crs with the Studebakers due tc
their first defeat of the season last
week when they were tripped up
by Joe Hurst and the Golden State
team.
This game ought to be well worth
seeing as John Kepley will have lis
boys en- their toes all the time To
make up lost ground. The Fat Boys
have strengthened their lineup con-
sjderably and viii give the Drug
gists plenty of competition.
The Cramer Bakery and Golden
State teams are on the ticket fo-
tomorrow nights game and this en-
counter should furnish plenty OF
thrills and good baseball.
On Wednesday night Coca Cola
will meet the Valley Laundry ag-
gregation. Neither of these teams
has a chance to cop the bunting
but that does not mean that they
will not be in there playing ball
all the time The Laundry team
has still to register a victory for
the first half of the seasons COM
petition but-you never can tell
what might happen in the old game.
There is still a postponed game
between the Fat Boys and the VAL
ley Laundry teams held over from
last week which will be played
probably on Thursday or Friday
nights of the current week. League
officials have not as yet decided
when this game will be run off.
Tonighr's game will start at
-
Imperial Valley press., 1933-06-05
LOCAL NINE
BEATS YUMA

I. V. Hardware defeated Yuma
Sunday at Yuma by a score of 5
to 2 in one of the best games of
the season, if not the best. 1. "
didn't lose any time. They started
off with three runs in the first in
ming and two runs in the fifth in
nlng. Hammerslaugh had a great
day at bat and also in the field,
handling several hard chances in
big league fashion. Lee had three
hits out of five times at bat. Jack
Stark turned in one of the best
pitching performances of the year
He held Yuma to five scattered hits,
struck out 10 men and walked one
man. Yuma didn't score off him
until the eighth inning. He had
them nelDlesS at the nlate