The Coolidge examiner., 1933-04-21
The Fable of 1875
and 1925
g
By GEORGE ADE
9. SCI 5, naicate.-wNu service.

Grant Second Administration, sat
back watching the Antics OF re-
formed and purified World. wonder.
Ing what II was all about. She
Was Ike every other living Person
beyond Sixty. IL seemed 10 her
that all the honured Traditions had
been hit IN the Head. that Civ
ilizatinn was being vaunped by friv-
olous Innovations and that the whole
Works had gone blooey.
bne of her important Discoveries
was that Young People are not
what they used 10 be. She didn't
suppose that any one else had no
ticed II bni she simply couldn't get
over the Way In which the Jimmies
and James were taking Ii for
granted that they owned the Uni
verse
This houored Hold-Over had a
Granddaughter and Namesake who
was d mere slip of Thing 10
years old. who was endeavoring TO
establish Worlds Record for
Speed and Endurance. Very often
Grandmother would ask, Haven't
her Parents any Control over herY'
Tile currect answer to the above
question was: "NO!"
II happened that one Day the
Old Lady couldn't stand il any long
er. Lille Genevieve. the Child
Wonder. had been To an all-night
Party. Along about 4 G. NJ. she
had brought Pack Of Comanches
into the House and had shown the
Ice-hox how To take Joke. She
came up for Air AT Noon and was
propped up In her theatrical Pa
jamas. having the whole House
wait on her. while she found Fault
with the eggs. the Toast. the Coffee.
the Weather and all of her Rela-
lives For one thing the Service
was not up to the Ritz and she
didn't like To have the Curtains
lifted So high and her Name was
mls-spelled in the Papers and every
thing looked dark for the Princess.
Queen OF the FIappers.
The old Lady sat In fixed Amaze
menj for while. surveying the
Eighth Wonder of the World. and
then she said: When was a Girl
and went To a Party. always came
down To breakfast next morning
and. what's more. came down
early and helped Mother"
The Queen OF tile F'lappers gave
her respected Grandmother the cold
Once-over and then said. You were
q Simp."
Possibly 50. from the standpoint
Of a modern Snipe who has become
so superficial and self-centered and
selfish that she regards her Par
ents as House Servants. In my Day
II was an imperative Rule that
Young People should respect their
Elders"
Mebbe you had better Bunch
10 work on" said little Genevieve
When they were giving out Rela-
tives almost drew n Blank. I've
tried to put mp with Nom and Pop.
and youll have 10 admit that they're
couple of Cities. Both of them
can sleep standing up. They don't
seem to be hep TO what's Trans
plring. told them Month ago |
wanted Roadster just like Bernice
is driving. Ii is one Duck and the
price is only $4,000 Do you think
can get those two Snoozies to buy
one for me? The old Tight-Wads
keep talking about the money. Don't
they know that a Cutie can't hold
the Boys any more unless she has
her own Bus? And you know how
these tlat-haired Papas are. They
don't like To ride in a Lizzie. You
can't blame them. can you? No. I
want something that will cut across
Lots and Climb Tree and if those
two Kioodles think they can work off
a Fliv on me. they've got another
Guess coming"
All during this Rave the kind
faced Relic of by-gone days stared
AT her dainty little Granddaughter
and sighed Deeply.
The Coy Debutante and the Bustle.
Il am wondering" she said at
last. IF there is left. anywhere in
the World. such a thing as a Chap
eron. saw one last Season and
she was. If yon will pardon the
Modernism. Pip. She was a Grass
Widow. aged 2S. painted a Creamy
White. with shingled Mob and she
wore about eight Ounces of cloth
ing. AS Guardian of Young Girls
! would say that she was hand
picked. In 1875. when ! had my
Coming-0ut Party. the Girls were
brought by their Parents and no
Young Gentlemen even asked for
Permission To Can until he talked
with the Mother and had flashed
his credentials"
Il get you." said Genevieve. You
are now going TO pull line of Chat
ter about the Good old Days of
1879, hut you win never get away
with il. have studied Ancient
History and am wise to that Gold