The Coolidge examiner., 1933-08-04
FABLE OF THE
SLUMBERING
VOLCANO
88
By GEORGE AIDE
By GEORGE ADE
G. Bell syndicate.-wNU Service.

British Nobleman, who can go
through an Explosion without shift
Ing his MOnocle. He knew that
Men would secretly envy him and
Beautiful Women would eat out
their hearts for him if he could
even be the calm, poised, unruffled,
unexcitable, superior and patroniz-
Ing Man of the World. 1t was a
hefty Contract for one born in an
81 800 Frame House in a ratty Sub
urb where Vegetables were sold
from Wagons and there was no So
cial Life except two Grass Tennis
Courts. Statistics show, however,
that many of our most highgeared
Aristocrats came from west of Pitts
burgh, and a Wrist Watch will fit
any one
Mr.. Frappey didn't have any An
cestors whose Pictures he could pro-
duce. II he had secured the Pic
lures, he wouldn't have dared to
hang them on the Wall. He didn't
have any Crest or Coat of Arms, al
though he certainly was entitled to
an Heraldic Device showing a Mush-
room surrounded by Icicles pendant.
He was just Hireling in Bank,
with enough Property TO fill q
Steamer Trunk and Bank account
not yet strong enough to stand
alone, but had the lofty Manner of
Caesar entering Rome at the head
Of his Legions and he seemed to get
away with It.
He Is Sure to Rise.
In this Country when a Lad of
Lowly Birth keeps himself in a Con-
dltion Of antiseptic Cleanliness and
comports himself with Dignity and
looks down at the Universe from
Heights above, he is sure to rise
above the Common Herd and fin
ish either In the Aisle Of the Dress
/ Goods Department or the Private
! Office of some phony Development
Proposition. Mr. Frappey seemed
! cut out for Future Greatness, be-
cause even the Stenographers ad-
mitted that he had the HALLMARK
of Distinction, II that means any,
thing to you. In other words, he
carried a Ton Of Swank and he
had no Pals. Trying to be Chummy
with Cyril would have been just like
Afternoon Tea at the Morgue.
Our Hero specialized on the sup
preston Of all the common and ia
miliar Manifestations of Human
Weakness.
II he happened to be walking
along the Street and saw so or 100
men grouped in front Of a Win
dow watching a perfectly developed
Blonde demonstrating frothy
Washing Machine he could elevate
the old Chin and go straight
ahead, without trying to sneak
Flash.
The most exciting News in the
Paper never got him het up. If any
one started to talk Murder or Scan
dal or Politics to him, he simply
said Indeed pike that, you know,
and in a moment or two he would
be all alone.
The Comic Strips never coaxed
as much as a Wrinkle out of this
Eskimo. Sometimes he enjoyed the
Wheezes lnwardly and wanted to
bust out, but he had schooled him
self by Spartan Methods and was
determined not to be cheap and Vul-
gar. He was sure double Portion
of Frozen Pudding
Funerals bored him. He was an
noyed by the Presence of so many
clammy Weepers.
Mr.. Frappey had mapped out for
himself a very strict and definite
Policy in regard to Wimmen. He
had observed that smirking Lovers
who answer the Bell and run En-
rands and are always Johnny-on-
the-Spot enjoy a kind of second-rate,
domesticated Popularity, the same
as Boston Terriers, but the Maidens
are yearning, all the time, for some
one who Is calm, superior and in
scrutable, the same as Lewis
Stone in the Movies.
So whenever Mr.. Frappey found
himself In the Company of q Flos-
sic, he treated her with courtly Po-
liteness but he made it a Rule never
to cajole and f1atter. 1t was In
difference that shook up the Girls
and made them work overtime.
If you want the Low Down and
Inside on Mr.. Frappey, the Facts
are these: AS a Cynic he was a
False Alarm and as a Stole he was
all Veneer Under the hard Crust
of his cultivated Personality, all of
the customary primeval Passion
surged and bubbled. He retained
all of the fool impulses Of the
Weaklings who had preceded him,
but he thought he had them har-
messed.
For instance, when he met Miss
Estelle Gimpey, the trained and dis
ciplined Frappey told himself that
he was merely in the presence of a
living Organism composed largely Of
Ovu0on HvdroOon CarhcD Iron