The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1933-09-07
Thursday, September z, 1888
One Person Responsible

One Person Responsible
Jaw, don't have to do as you
say; you're not my mother!"
Grandma never makes me do
that"-"That aunt Sally;she just
picks on me all the time-Just wait
till my mother gets home!"
The household in which the moth
er must be away from home a good
share of the time is apt to foster
some such negativistic attitude in
the children. Sometimes the child
is apparently amiable and co-opera-
tive with the person in charge of
him during the day, but becomes
fractions the moment his mother
appears upon the scene and he feels
that authority has temporarily
shifted.
Two things undermine discipline
when someone other than the par
ents is in charge of the child, no
matter how carefully discipline has
been built up previously; having no
one person definitely in charge of
the child, and open disagreements
over methods of handling him.
Employees know that it is more
difficult to be responsible to sever
al employers than to just one; and
when children are managed first by
one adult, then by another, or by
several at one time, with inevitable
inconsistencies in handling and dis
cipline, they naturally-and rightly
feel imposed upon.
Time after time, in the case re-
cords of children who become so
much of a problem that they are
brought to the clinics or the courts
you willfnd this notation: recon-
mend that one person be placed in
complete charge of child" This
doesn't mean an outsider; it means
the one person in the family whom
the child most respects and who
is capable of handling the child,
and that all other members of the
family be compelled OF keep "hands
off,"
If you are an adult in a family.
no matter how unwisely you may
think the person in authority over
the child is handling him, do not
interfere with that persons meth
DDS before the child. It is better
for the child to be handled unwise-
ly than to have his respect for this
disciplinary authority undermined.
Do not, above all, indicate to the
child, in various ways that you be-
lieve this authority to be foolish or
h q Q ha1 l,H
from his discipline.
ooh let him have it; it won't hurt
him-let him go just this once"
fond friends and relatives just can't
refrain from saying. II always let
you do that and it didn't hurt you
any," grandmothers puts in.
If the child doesn't quite under
stand why he should have someone
put in charge of him when his
mother and father are out, make a
lark of it by explaining that this
person becomes temporarily his
"governess" during the time his
mother is away, Or that he is a SOL
dier and this is his new captain. Ex-
plain carefully that even though
the person has been in a position of
no authority while mother was
there, he receives full authority
when made captain" and that, no
matter how much soldiers may dis
like new officer, they obey. Enlist
the child's cooperation by explain
ing to him why you must be away
every day, that it is in the nature
of an emergency, and ask him to
help you in bringing him up under
these conditions.
When the child's own parents are
not living, it is important that the
child be responsible to just one
person in the household in which
he is living-unless, Of course, he
has been adopted and is treated as
an own child. Such child is so
apt to feel that he really belongs
to no one, though everyone else in
the house belongs to someone; or
that the members of the family
with whom he is living are trying to
shift the responsibility for him.
When a child's own parents are
constantly disagreeing over methods
of disciplining him, something of
the same situation arises. The
child may well come to believe that
he may do as he likes, since his
parents never can agree on a course
of conduct! A child is easily hand
led by both parents, if they will re-
frain from disagreeing about him
in his presence or from interfering
in each others discipline before the
child. And of course, it is better
for the child if both parents are
actively guiding him.