davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1933-01-11
III
|I[I:IIIIl
YORK
an
A SMILE FAN

A SMILE FAN
New York, Jan. 1l.-Arrival at the
first OF each year of Frank Wilstach'a
annual crop Of SMILES always makes
me as competitive as an Orchard
Street pushcart peddler.
And glancing over the morsels Sc
lected from my own scribblings.
usually decide to start the new year
with respect for an "as," 'like'
J or "than." I find myself lingering
for instance, over the contributin Of
Fox Reynolds, which goes: colder
than Ghandi in a rumble seat"
Until I can tie that I'll feel my
self as useless as a mink coat In a
nudist colony.
X X \
A REAL HUNTER
Wilstach, veteran newspaperman
who is attached to Will Hays staff,
goes through each seasons maya
zines. books and newspapers looking
fer SMILES as a bacteriologist seeks
new microbe he can isolate. His
Book of Smiles has become stan
dard and they're not bad fun.
Thus one finds: Uncomfortable
as a sword swallower with the hic-
coughs" or Philip Barry's Slipping
like sophomore's sock" or "Unex-
pected as a Christmas bonus in de-
preston time."
i i
IT'S A DISEASE
Seeing what the other lads are do
ing. one desires to grow as cocky as
a bullfighter's strut. To step out
and work as fast as a pitchman when
the Broadway cops are watching. Al
ways with the fear that the results
will be as empty as that same pitch
mans watch. And If you know what
I mean, those two-bit watches never
have any works In them,
One seeks to be as full OF assur-
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1933-01-11
Japan's Drive

japanese troops are now within
the great wall Of China. Fury over
Russo Chinese Impeachment seems
to be responsible for much of the
aggression Of the Nippon government.
This situation naturally oversha-
dows the Manchurian crisis. AS one
writer points out uniting the two
descriptive forces in the Far East
Russian communism and Chinese
chaos-is menace not only to the
peace OF the Orient but to that Of
the entire world"
japan looks with disfavor upon our
policies in the Far East. She has
protested to the League OF Nations
against participation by the Soviet
Union or the United States in the
proposed Cancellation commission on
Manchuria.
But can Japan oppose successfully
both China and Russia? The odds
it would seem are against her. espe-
cially as she has internal issues to
cope with. Japan's finances are in
bad shape and with the world crisis
she will find 1t very hard to finance
any major military operations. Her
Manchurian venture was q costly one,
but the latest war maneuvers prom
Use to be even more expensive.
What Japan fears is the spread ol
communism in China. This woult
imperil Japan for she is already com.
batting what Is termed underground
communism"
The situation In the Orient Il
alarming to say the least. Japauese
aggression Is not approved by any o.
the world powers. The Lytton 70.
bort was mildly censortous Of j..
RIMS action In Manchurta. In TIN
controversy to date. the League o.
nations has been helpless. Japal
has practically threatened to resigz
nom the League II that body be.
comes too active In the affairs Of tn
Yar East.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1933-01-11

l tIldIlk yOu, WTltcS lduy, AVI AOl
Warding DR.. IS address.
I feel he is more qualified in dia-
thermy treatment than DR..
I cannot speak we'll of diathermy in
my case because the treatment was
too harsh in the beginning. One ton
sill was almost removed with one
treatment. My doctor informed me
that the throat had been burned,
leaving quite scar which binds the
tonsil. After the treatment there
were two blisters and my throat was
very inflamed and painful for a long
time, also my ear seemed to be a lit
tie affected This treatment I had
last January. Have been afraid to
have further treatment In case Of
more trouble being set up. My doctor
says the rheumatism I have so fire.
Quently will not clear up until the
tonsilS are removed. In the left one
there is a great deal VI pus. You are
doing a great service for the pub
lie. sir and I wish YOU continued
success"
The doctor whose address for
warded the lady is nose and throat
specialist of the highest standing and
some twenty years experience. He
has done his thousands Of tOnSil-
lectomies. but nowadays he prefers
and recommends to most of his pa
tents, the diathermy method.
The other doctor. with whom the
lady compares this specialist, is ar
obscure practitioner. without any
medical standing. mean by that a
man who is not member Of any
recognized medical society. and DE-
not know how the lady happened Il
60 to such physician for treatment
I know there are good many
charlatans monkeying with diatherm,
in surgery. Some of these are out.
and-out quacks and like all quack!
they seek business by direct appea
to the credulity of the prospective
patient II 4 quack has designs OF
your bank roll he takes one or an
other means Of telling you how goo<
he is. That's the big difference be
tween the honest doctor and thu
quack. The honest doctor is NOR
modest; he waits for his satisfied pa
irons to tell you how good he is. Be
sides. that's less expensive.
Then, too. there are plenty Of ply
sicians and throat specialists II
good professional standing who ar
attempting to extirpate tonsils will
diathermy, without troubling to TAX
any competent instruction in tn
technic from medical men who ar
qualified to give such instruction
Too many Of the ambitious brethre!
are purchasing not only their instrl
ments or apparatus but also thei
clinical instruction from the manu-
facturers or their agents. This ex
plains such astrocious experiences a
our correspondent had at the hand
Of the bungler who almost removed
the torsil in one treatment"
No matter who or what the doc
tor is. If he knows his business an
exercises due skill. the patient wi
suffer no great discomfort from tn
treatment at any time. Seldom
the throat sore enough to interfer
with the regular meals or to detail
the patient from regular occupation
I want to make 1t clear to ever
one that recommend the diatherm
method as the method Of choice Il
oil cases, except young children. 70
removal Of tonsils. but II you choos
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1933-01-11

ance as q master Of ceremonies With
an original gag.
You see, the thing gets to BE
habit. You begin reaching Tor Z
smile like q dipso, for his morning
pickup. That's the way the darn
Wilstach simile book affects you.
\ 4 -
HERE'S TINE CLIMAX
At any rate. here's hoping that
SMILES will be % numerous - friends
with hard luck stories.
Oh, well-let's get several out OF
our system at once and have 1t over:
AS unwelcome Is another pay cut.
As mouotonouS Is 4 radio song
plug.
AS hopeful as q bald headed man
with q new hair tonic.
As annoyed as q man with q three
year lease-at old rentals.
Or what have you that's any bet
ter!
NOTES OF THIS AND THAT
And I hear on Broadway that, after
all these years, Julian Eltinge, great
est Of female tmperSonators, - going
to try q return to the stage
Whatever will he imperso te-
grandmothers? >. Well, that would
be q novelty -. And don't believe
all you've heard about MAude Adams
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1933-01-11
t1HE MYSTERY GERALDINE
j by ANTHONY ABBOT

chant who had exhaustive records
Of all his transactions.
ibid you buy any pillow cases
like this one?" asked Thatcher
Colt, thrusting the piece which
Gernsback had used, under his
eyes.
Indeed he had. Mr.. Schnutx fer.
vently declared that he considered
those pillow cases the most beauti-
ful he had ever handled in his
thfrty-five years as 4 merchant in
the neighborhood.
did you ever sell any Of them ?"
asked Thatcher Colt.
Mr.. Schnutz sadly shook his
head. ''
"Only one pair" he replied.
THE people Of today are alto.
gether lacking in an artistic apnre-
citation Of beautiful things"
But did he know to whom he
had sold them?
u remember the sale perfectly"
said the merchant to Thatcher
Colt: "ltewas q lady with : little
lgirl-pretty little. girl-vho
bought that pair Of pillow cases,
after she saw them in the window
Where is that sales check?"
With folded arms and An A.,
preston Of the deepest melancholy
Thatcher Colt waited. He did nj
seem in the slightest decree dis.
concerted when the merchant. hav.
ing found the paper he sought. put
his classes on the tip Of his nose
and calmly read from one Of ii,
sales slips: ~
"The name was Mrs. reliss Nor.
gan. Of 1875 Washington Square
The pillow slip which was found
over the head Of the buried Cerai
dine Foster had been purchaset
by the mother Of little Doris MOI
gan.
At once I became . prey to thu
most hideous and fantastic sus
picions.
/ First It seemed to me q IL thi,
latest discovery completely shat
tered all possibility Of DR.. Maskell',
innocence. In another instant m,
rapid-changing theories wouls
clear the physician, only to con
1ure before mo IN entirely DIFF
ferent and unthinkable accu:ation
Had Felise Morgan killed Ger
aldine Foster?
Even at this late date, when 8,
many Of the clues were ALREADY
obviously at hand, even after VIVA,
Thatcher. Colt had said TO me,
rejected the idea a. impossible. 4
woman WELD that murderous axe
deal those awful blows, and then
alone and unaided, bury that bod,
after soaking It in q bathtub full
Of tannic acid? I felt like shud
dering 1t the very notion.
Why should Felise Morgan wan
to kill Geraldine? Unless Il NJ
because she was in love with Dr.
, Maskell and was jealous or afraid
The mother Of little Doris must b,
the woman whose name the ply
stefan had kept 20 Loyalty.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1933-01-11

larger than life: but 1t is the small.
er people who see the melodrama In
them.-Carl Van Doren, literary cri-
tic.
Y \ X
Technocracy has stopped Roger
Babson, our Billy Sunday among eco
nomists, from talking about the
spiritual value Of hunger-Merle d.
Vincent, Denver (Colo.) fuel execu-
tive and authority on social problems.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1933-01-11

In radio address Mr.. Herbert
SWEET, House floor leader, predicted a
harmonious session. The people of
the state hope he is right. If Mr..
SWEET has his way it will be that kind
Of session. Tub humping and
thimble rigging politicians should
take notice.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1933-01-11
Twentieth Amendment

I North 0ekota . The eighteenth
1tate 70 ratify the "1orris Lame DUCK
Amsndment". Thsre was practically
no discussion. This step Win - ta1sn
- ~ next fsw weeks IN many more
statss until ths constitutional quota
faEifiss. AZ Wsssnt writing It appears
tl,at the Hoover administration viii
,ueoclam to thu nation the adoption Of
III new article Of amendment.
Under the terms Of the amendment
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1933-01-11

being certain Of returning to Broad
vay True It Is that 9 play waS
heinr written for her and that the
role Of q nun was suggested -. 1ut
there have been arguments Win
Philip Barry, tho playwright In Ques-
ton. and matters are far from Set
tied. =.
(Copyright, 1888, NEA Service, lnc.)
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1933-01-11
Member OF Audit Bureau Of
Circulation
Member OF The Associated Press

Mem0ef OF Inc ASSOCIATED PfeSS
The Associated Press is exclusively
entitled to the use for republication
OF all news dispatches credited to 1t
or not otherwise credited in this
newspaper and also the local news of
spontaneous origin published herein.
All rights Of republication Of all other
matter herein are also reserved.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1933-01-11
sWEEr MEDICINE

Columbus. O.-When Thomas beL.::
terrified. 80, . trusty who walked IrUss
Columbus City Prison last July, re-
turned to take his medicine, he found
Il not hard to take. When he gave
himself up recently he was freed BY
Judge Joseph M. Clifford at the rec
ommendation Of Prosecutor Wayne
Fosle, He had bummed his way 70
California and back.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1933-01-11

Gust seeing where ne roes- 4
suspect him." cried checkles 70
Thatcher Colt, Is he leaned r. ths
sidewalk and hoped away.
WHO on earth is the man
Checkles Is following?" asked.
THAT is Gilbert Morgan-the
father OF Doris and the husband
OF Felise."
| was tingling with suspense "A
We approached the door of the
Morgan apartment, the same door
before which we had stood tina
night we had first visited Betty's
apartment. After ringing, We had
barely time to catch our breath
before the door was opened bv :
tall, long-armed woman with Sc.
we're features and thin black hair
brushed tightly over her head. She
looked at US with eyes that seemed
20 burn their way past all our bar
riers OF caution. She recognized,
Colt 1t once; he had been here he
fore. W
"Mrs. Morgan will see you in Il
moment" she said. Please come
in" o
She led u down q wide hal, i
eharmingly laid out and decorated.'
into . small cabinet-like place that
opened Oft the grand drawing
room Of the suite. Here We were
left, to study the charming vater
colorS on the vail. especiallv nnAi
aquarelle Of . painted sail. which
- ] learned later, had been done
BY Felise - she was an amatemr
painter. ! looked ct Thatcher Colt
and was about to speak, when .,
scfaping foot-step made me turn. !
TO my astonishment, l saw An oid
woman creeping into the room. For
al her extreme age and feehie
condition she was looking from.
my face 70 Thatcher Colt viii
eager and Intelligent curiosity.
Don't tell her came n here
will your" the old woman crosked.
IN . deep whisper.
We both promised, wonderin.lv
Sas came nearer 70 Thatcher Colt
choosing him By that unfailinr IN.
otince Tor authority that belonss
e the very old and the very yomrS.
with her palsied fingers On h{s
wrist, she said: -
make relise tell you the truAA
She stays here because Of ~
Am not worth It. Tell her Co fol.
low her heart - can take care
".who are your" asked Thatcher
"Her nhother-in-law."
The old woman retreated "a The
door and then, looking over her
LETT shoulder ct the Commissioner.
she added:
"You tell her that and mako nor
DO it and you may prevent another
With this cryptic utteranee. she
started out Of the room. ~
1s Dc coatiavsd
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1933-01-11
PERSONAL HEALTH SERVICE
BY William Brady, M. d.

Signed letters pertaining
diagnosis treatment will be answered by Dr. Brady stamped
written
in No reply made queries conforming to nstruc
TONS Address Dr. William Brady in care of this newspaper
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1933-01-11
Editorial Comment

Editorials printed below show the
trend OF thought by other editors.
They are published without regard
to whether they agree or disagree
with The Tribune's policies.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1933-01-11
Barbs

Whatever the flaws in democracy,
there's no question that the steam
shovel has been the cause OF a vast
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1933-01-11
The Woman UnnaaslEed.

'ician had kept 20 loyalty.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1933-01-11
BUNGLERS THERE BE IN DIA-
THERMY

I thank you. writes a lady, for for
warding DR.. --s address
The Washington times., 1933-09-14
Encouraging Words
"The Boss" Speaks

The cheering which from the White House
she effect that President Roosevelt is studying living
with view to restoring at least part of the wages which
nave been taken from Government employees should not
casion any surprise
President William Green of the American Federation Of
Labor who announced the Presidents position simply
brought clearly the indications which been
apparent for weeks
While President Roosevelt at Hyde Park The Wash
ngon Times predicted that early in September he would
make known that he wanted to restore much of
salary cut possible basng the prediction the fact that
he had been impressed by ndefensbe handed
10 civilian employees of Navy Yards.
is however pleasing to have the matter put in somewhat
concrete form by President Green and his words after
interviewing President Roosevelt will be douby welcome
Government workers throughout the country
According Mr. Green the President indicated that he
bopes to act soon"
That rather indefinite and no doubt workers
look for relief
AS nearly determined the relief will about
he first of the year.
There grave that President could act prior
hat time owing the provision of the ac maintain the
credit of the United States"
This act provides that the President shall determine salaries
upon the basis living costs in the previous sxmonth period
q comparison with living costs of June, 1928
The expiration of the sxmonth period would
~ the close of the year.
Apparently President could act before the expra
e1pn of that period.
Accordingly would that action will not be taken for
Ct least three months
This delay however, will detract measuraby from the
dgt of Government workers the attitude Of President
Roosevelt.
nng of their problems and that he will act in their be-
half soon possible.
The Washington times., 1933-09-14
The Middle-Aged Worker
Employers Should Remember Him

With the NRA in full swing and the nation resolved
buy now to make jobs and to restore prosperity is to be
hoped that employers will consider the claims the middle
aged worker when they add to their forces.
The prejudice against the thirty and the
ever forty particularly in socaed white collar jobs is hard
10 explain.
Without dsparaging youth there question the
experienced worker greater asset to employer in
positions than the novice.
He or she is likely to be steadier careful and less
disposed to quit for trivial
For routine work. especially the average middeaged per-
son is more valuable than the average youngster
ter how ambitious and aggressive the latter may be-
Then too, the ddleaged employe frequently head
Of family and his pay usually spent in providing for
number of dependents.
When he out of job that several besides him
self are thrown on charity the city and State for relief
Thus the unemployment of the mddeaged worker places
heavier burden private pubic aid than would other
wise be the
School is the place for young people, it is humanity pos
sible to send them there
The office the store the factory is the place for
abeboded experienced workers Notwithstanding the fact
that they may have passed the forty mark
In hiring more help employers would do well to keep
this mind By doing they will not only benefit them
selves but their communities
The Washington times., 1933-09-14
At Last!
District Funds Are Released

The release of approximately the Districts
plus gasoline tax and water funds by Director of the Budget
Lewis Douglas for the purposes for which the funds
authorized by Congress- will accomplish two highly desirable
objects.
In the first place. and of pressing Importance the action Of
Director Douglas will provide employment for hundreds Of
District residents and will the jobs of hundreds Of
others who in danger of dismissal because Of lack of funds
In the second place. the money will enable the District Com
ioners proceed without further delay in carrying out
projects which highly necessary to the develop
1nent and maintenance of the National Capital
Coupled with the made available to the city by the
Public Works Administration, the funds released will
Ove the spectre and the fear Of unemployment from
thousands
These funds should the turn Of the tide Of appeals to
he Emergency Relief Committee The heretofore steadily
mounting line of those dependent upon public relief funds
should decline
It is unfortunate the release Of the cys funds should
Go late, but it is the less welcome.
The District Commissioners hold in their hands the
difficult problem of getting this money into circulation
quickly and effectively possible.
Many of the projects contemplated under the program
ssedy for prompt execution The Commissioners have had
chem under consideration for time contracts for
carrying them out should be let promptly.
The Washington times., 1933-09-14
Game Paradise

All you will need then is a
motor car and pass, under
which all possible claims for
damages against the State are
waived, and you are at liberty
to roam 10000 miles of territory
thronged with lions, elephants,
giraffes, zebraS, hippos, jackals,
warthogS, crocodiles and a hun
dred species Of African deer,
from the great Gland to the
tiny mouse deer.
Visitors to this paradise of
big game have told this writer
that the Kruger preserve is
probably the largest and most
thrilling piece of territory any
where on the old earth. It runs
from the coast far back into
the interior, territory as large
as some states of America, with
great rivers, endless plains and
high mountains.
A visitor to this great pre-
serve. who is himself a nat
uraliSt. made an interesting
first hand study of the lion.
Said he: Lions are cats, and
that's the way to deal with
them. They are bursting with
curiosity. They are enraged
when they are disturbed. No
body ever saw an angry lion
The Washington times., 1933-09-14
No Hunting

No hunting is allowed in the
preserve, but a visitor may
shoot if attacked, although he
will have to prove his danger
and natives may shoot lions II
the great beasts invade their
kraals at night. Natives have
a holy fear of the King OF
Beasts. They live with MIN
and they know what ne Is
capable Of. Ill.,.
Last year in the preserve lions
killed and ate 460 Wildeoeeste'
PAT waterbuck, 1873 ZEBRA ~
koodoo, As impala, 33 Warthogs'
80 sable antelopes, along with a
few giraffes, young hippo, oul- =
falo and ostrich. And II lions
were killed fighting among
themselves.
South Africa is proud Of this
game preserve and is taxing
sensible measures now, before IL
is too late, to preserve for later
generations the wonderful big
game life which has been SO
characteristic of the continent
The building of automoblle
roads through once trackless
plains and jungles and the in
creasing use of the airplane
has cut heavily into the big
game of the continent. 1t is
easier for poachers to slaugh-
ter and evade punishment, and
the animals themselves, dis
turbed by the contact with
man and the clamor he sets
up with his automobiles, his
locomotives and his airplanes.
and hating also the smells OF
mans machines, desert the
feeding grounds best suited to
them and retreat to less favored
regions where they cannot
thrive.
The example set by the
Union of South Africa may re-
suit in similar action by the
British, the French and the
Belgians who, among them,
rule about nine-tenths Of the
Dark Continent.
Copyright. 1888 King Features
syndicate, lnc.)
The Washington times., 1933-09-14
The Human Side of the News
Kruger Sanctuary for African Wild Life
Bu Edwin C.. Hill,

when it was not disturbed,
when it's privacy wasn't in
vaded or its dignity threatened,
Men seem to know this as a
rule, but women, oddly enough,
forget about this trait Of the
cat family.
zone woman jumped from
car and tried to take a close
up camera picture of a lioness
and her cubs. The mother
lion let out a roar that was
heard for miles. The woman
was so frightened that, in re-
treating to her car, she
stumbled and fell and had to
be dragged to safety in a hurry.
only the smell of gasoline,
which all wild animals loathe'
kept that lioness from charging
like a fury"
The Washington times., 1933-09-14
Stood for Repeal

Repeal Of the Eighteenth
Amendment and not its nullifi-
cation was, as Mr.. Garner be-
lieved. the only just and honor
able way for the American peo-
pie to rid themselves of the
curse of prohibition.
All the time that Mr.. Garner,
as a Member of the House, was
voting on this matter as his
conscience dictated, hypocrites
and demagogues all about him
were voting in obedience to the
orders of organized minorities or
tyrannical majorities.
On March 4, 1882, a resolu-
ton was voted upon by the
House which called for the re-
submission of the Eighteenth
Amendment.
Mr.. Garner was Speaker Of
the House at the time. A large
part of the responsibility of the
leadership of his party in the
House rested upon his shoulders.
1t would have been easy for him