Evening star., 1932-04-05
THIS AND THAT
BY CHARLES E. TRACEWELL.

Templeton Jones was presented re-
Gently with a huge corncob pipe. He
had always wanted one, but somehow
had never come into possession Of 1t.
Jones had several nice briars, pur-
chased in the days of prosperity, but he
still longed for corncob. This pipe
is the traditional American smoking
implement.
The United States is basically an ag-
ricultural nation, and the pipe made
from a cob was for many years the IA
vorite. 1t was easy to get and easy
to make. 1t was cheap.
Even men who took up with fancy
briars years ago still harbor in the back
of their minds safe and sane Amer
lean delusion that there is no pipe just
like a corncob.
ITS sweet" they will say, smacking
their lips.
The truth is that they never smoked
anything but briarwood pipe in their
lives. What has happened is that they
have heard other men compliment the
cob pipe.
There is a tribe of human beings
which specializes in praising whatever
one does not have. If you happen to
buy one thing one of these unhappy
beings pops up to inquire why you did
not purchase something else.
If you praise a new novel by one
writer, he chimes in to ask il you have
read another book by another writer.
So he goes down the line Of human de-
sires and wants, likes and dislikes.
What he finds another likes he dislikes;
what another dislikes he pretends to
like very much.
Templeton Jones, being an essentially
gullible sort of person, one of those
(millions) for whom the praise Of others
perhaps means too much, listened not
wisely but too well to the CUFF about the
vast superiority Of an oldtime corn
cob pipe.
Men who could not afford the fine
briars which T. Jones, esq, liked to
smoke-upon Observation-Disclosures him
into believing that a corncob pipe, at
10 cents, was quite as good as the most
expensive briar that was ever made in
dear old England.
So when he was presented at last
with a monstrous cob, duly fashioned
into the semblance of a pipe for smok-
ing purposes properly fitted with a
neat wood stem, Templeton Jones de-
cided that the hour had struck for real
pipe enjoyment.
mo varnish to burn up here" said
he, looking critically into the enormous
bowl.
The rough outside struck his fingers
pleasantly. Here, at last, was an old
fashioned smoke Lovingly Jones held
the big bowl aloft.
If he had not been dignified gentle
man. what he would have said would
have sounded strangely like the common
vulgarism:
Hot dogl"
Jones fingered expectantly over the
process of filling the bowl with his
favorite tobacco.
Here was task which was not to be
rushed.
After waiting for lifetime, or say
half a lifetime, for the pleasure Of
smoking a corncob pipe, Templeton
Jones was not going to be hurried.
Perhaps he had a suspicion of what
was going to come. Perhaps 1t was
merely desire to draw out the pleas
ure of this supreme smoke as long as
possible.
Jones put his tobacco into his new
pipe crumb by crumb. not wadding it
in by great pinches. as careless smokers
do, but crumbling 1t into the capacious
bowl almost particle by particle.
The pipe held about two and half
times as much as any pipe he had ever
smoked. He watched the tobacco dis
appear out of its pouch as if swallowed
up by the sea.
That's a pipe" said Jones at last
n
Now there are two ways of break
ing in" new pipe, as all smokers
know.