Evening star., 1932-03-20

"I front of me and knew sne was get
w ting ready for one OF her nonstop
speeches janitor hasn't got much
choice but to listen so I leaned on my broom
and waited for the worst. Anything with less
words than a Wichkersham report, I figured,
would be Just so much gravy.
Now Riley" she took a good, deep breath
and began, "I won't put up with 1t for one
more minute not one more minute 1t has got
to stop and you will have to do something
about it right now right now I said Or"
"What?" 1 asked, proud to get in that one
syllable
Don't argue with me-" she went on. Don't
YOU know have a weak heart and can't stand
arguments like that anyway I don't want
YOU to stand there jawing I want some action
and I'll tell you this much that and all the
rest of the tenants in this building will break
our leases if that howler doesn't stop her noise
1 tell you she would make life miserable for a
person who stone deaf let alone"
"Oh you mean the singer, Miss Beard?"
Singer, did you say singer? You mean
howler I tell you can't stand the racket
she makes any longer and I tell you I'll put
a stop to it somehow if have to buy a
saxophone and learn to play it myself which
certainly don't want to do because hate to
waste the money and anyway what would /
want with learning to play the saxophone.
I'm no Rudy Vallee and no desire to be one.
Even if I could, I assure you. So it's got to
stop. and I'm willing to go to any lengths to
get that din quieted." She gasped weak
ness, yes but then even a pair of lungs like
hers have their limits.
WELL" I said I'm sorry you don't want
to be a saxophone player-but what's that
got to do with the singer Miss Beard?"
Who said anything about a Saxophone?"
demanded Mrs. Thornton. And who called
her a singer? tell you if she's singer I'm
a cotton picker, and anyway that's not the
point. The thing is If you can silence her I'll
make it right with you. Yes, sir, III make
it right with you.7
THAT didn't exactly excite me because I knew
] Mrs Thornton would make a Scotch miser
look like a spendthrift Last Christmas, re-
menlbered, she told me in a couple of thousand
words that she had a nice present and Christ
mas surprise for me. 1t turned out that she
going away for the holidays and that dur
ing that time wouldn't have to call for the
garbage. That woman thinks no more of a
nickel than she does of her eyesight. So her
promise to do right by me didn't work me up
into lather. But then I got shock when
she went on.
Yes. I promise you, Mr.. Riley, I'll make
it distinctly worth your while if you can
stop that yowling. So listen to me carefully
while I explain. If you stop it by this time
next week I'll give you-give you" Gust say
ing those two words hurt her)-"twenty- five
dollars"
Well couldn't have been more surprised
If the Empire State Building had leaned over
and tickled the Chrysler Tower
Thank you, Mrs. Thornton" managed TO
say. TN try but"
Never say try, say do" she came back with
her second wind. How do you expect to get
anywhere in the world if you take that attitude.
Gracious me- it should be simple for bright
man like yourself to think up some good way
to stop that racket so I can get good nights
Sleep which is something I haven't had in
ages and"
There were about 10 more paragraphs on the
general subject of insomnia but I didn't pay
much attention. I was too busy thinking how
I could collect that $25. The prospects didn't
look too good Trying to stop a singer from
singing is like trying to stop Lindbergh going
to embassies without pajamas
A nice murder with Miss Beard on the spot
marked wouldn't do any good. couldn't even
pay my lawyer with twenty-five, much less
make any profit out of it. Anyway didn't
like the idea. Killing is so common these
days that no self-respecting person would have
anything to do with it, I did think some Of
letting the furnace go out so she'd catch such
a cold she couldn't sing, only knew I'd have
all the rest of the tenants on my neck then.
1t might even cost me my job. 1t didn't even
occur to me to appeal to her better nature.
Singers don't have any. But I knew if I put
my mind to it long enough I could think of
some way to put silencer on her. Ten years
janitoring gives a man a lot of experience
with women. Not enough to get married,
maybe, but enough to earn an honest $25
now and then
I thought might as well listen in to this
warbling of Miss Boards. My room in the
back of the basement is too far away from
her fourth floor front to get more than faint