The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1932-01-28

49,
Wade Hinebaugh said that when he
finally got up yesterday morning his
house was over in Helbig's grove.
Winter arrived on the wings of the
wind, and how that wind did blow!
Archibaldson thought the bed was
shaking because his teeth were chat
tering, but when he found himself on
the other side of the room Wednes-
day morning he realized the wind
must have had something to do
with it.
From One Who Also Battles
My fan mail is increasing. This
week came letter from someone who
also takes baths, and who is a near
neighbor. 1t reads:
Dear Scoop
1 am so delighted to know that !
don't stand alone in my own bathtub
troubles. After reading of your pre-
dicament I sent out QUESTIONABLE and
find that it is a general nuisane in our
section of town, and unless we abolish
dish washing the only cure l can sug-
gest is to have the tub put in the
cellar near the coal bin and furnace.
This, of course, has it's disadvanta-
ges, but who wouldn't put up with a
lot of disadvantages in order to get
stream of water when you want it.
say let the dish washers do the snort
ing.
Yours for satisfaction in tubs,
MINNIE ZILCH.
$50
tell you, it pays to advertise. Last
week l advertised having lost a silk
undershirt and stated that the thief
was known. On Tuesday there were
nine packages in the mail, each con-
tanning silk undershirt. The Repub-
lican for results.
Another fan letter from one of my
woman admirers, giving warning to
the unmarried ones:
Ladies, this is leap year, set aside
every four years as an open season
for man-hunting. Stubborn males who
have with great care and cunning
eluded you thus far are your fair
game. You have the right to pursue
them with whatever tactics you may
consider proper and effective.
Sc
loving creature and kicks against the
matrimonial traces. He resents the
bit, but the woman has to break him
to the harness and compel him to
draw his share of the burden. So GO
after him and marry him. Leap year
offers not only an opportunity but an
JIMMIE MICH"
%%#
Nothing About Nobody
Floyd Stahl said last week I never
wrote about anybody but myself any
more. They used to think I liked to
kid everybody else but myself.
Floyd said it takes more time to
shave Republicans this year as gen.
eral rule because they have longer
faces.
There is something pathetic about
a horsefly sitting on the radiator Of
truck, the Literary Digest says
No more so than a sparrow sitting or
the gas tank.
At a social gathering last week the
Oakland quartet sang eve may not
pass this way again." to the delight
of those present.
"Hell Divers" starring Conrad Ma
gel, Wallace Berry and Clark Gable
is a peach of show.
Bob Moomaw's parsnips are as good
as they are big.
LOCALIZED Leap Year
In 1928 law was enacted in Scot
land, stating that:
1t is statut and ordaint that dur.
ing the rein of hir maist blissit Ma.
geste, for ilk yeare knowne as lepe
yeare, ilk mayden ladye of bottle
highe and lowe estait shall hae liberte
to bespeake We man she likes, albeit
he refuses to talk hir to be his lawful
wye, he shall be mulcted in We sum
ane pundis or less, as his estait may
be; except and avis gif he can make il
appeare that he is betrothit ane ithel
woman he then shall be free.
Now here's a good chance for legis.
lators.
Hereafter, when some people get ar
invitation to dinner over the tele.
phone they are going to make sure
they know who the hostess is. Last
week three ladies were invited out
They called at one place and founc
their mistake and used the telephone
for five inquiries before finding Out
where to go. And the hostess had tt
wait an hour and a half.