The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1932-10-19
RY EARL M,KEE

BY EARL MhEE
VXTAL, here we are, dear radio
w arnouncers, seated before our
loud-speaker, ready to bring to you
an evening at the fireside in our
cosy little home, through courtesy
of the installment furniture COM
pany and the landlord.
We are seated directly in front
of our loud-speaker, on which five
monthly payments are due today,
according to letter which we re-
ceived in our fan mail. And we
wish to announce that our mail is
growing in volume each month
end.
We see to our right the baby
grand piano, on which rests
neat chattel mortgage. In front
of us Is the fireplace, in which
burns the last hodful of coal we
could scrape from the bin. Far to
our left is the dining room, and
beyond that the kitchen, where we
now can we see the township trds-
tee delivering a big basket of gro
GCiltO w Tic llbllC NOiiAdIs
This is the Radio Listeners of
America. When you hear the next
musical note, it will be the little
woman dropping slug into the
gas meter (Clink-clink) The
second clink you heard, dear radio
announcers, was che slug being
elected by a super critical mech
anism that insists on two-bit
pieces bearing the trademark of
Uncle Sam.
TINE family gradually is assem-
Il bling for the evening, and the
seats now are nearly all occupied.
outside is big crowd of neigh
bors, who to while away the time,
are matching wits with a group of
constables who have come to evict
our family.
Not all the constables are wits,
but it is only fair to state they
are half wits.
Don't go way, dear radio an
nouncers. There will be lot of
fun and excitement before long,
and we hope to bring you a blow
by-blow description of the latest
Florida hurricane and the equally
furious encounter soon to take
place between our mother-in-la law
and the minions of the law.
We have a big surprise for you
this evening" prize contest, in
which we are going to give away,
absolutely free, to some radio an
nouncer in America, our pet goat,
Clara.
Now, listen carefully for the de-
tails. All you have to do is to
write a letter to us, stating your
reasons in 10000 words-no more,
no less-why you do not want a
goat. Then incloSe in your letter
five 81 bills, and mail. The SIS is
simply to cover cost of diSinfecting
and shipping the goat in case you
win.
CIMPLE? Wen say so. And now,
~ as an additional treat. dear
radio announcers, we are bring
ing Clara, our dear little goat, be-
fore the loud speaker and are 60
ing to ask her to say few words
of greeting to you.
All right, Clara, step right up
to the loud speaker and say hello
to the announcerS Dear
QnnOlInnnrC
don the interruption, which was
caused by technical difficulties be-
yond our control. The grating
noise you heard was Clara taking
bite out of the loud speaker.
In the meantime, the constables
have entered and are removing our
furniture from the house. We
now are talking to you, dear an
nouncers, from the sidewalk, where
our loud speaker now sits atop our
twenty payment washing machine.
Hear that cheering from the
Sidelines. Mother-in-la just
trotted out onto the field and on
the very first play threw two of
the constables for ten-yard loss.
The tin-star boys now are in
huddle just inside the front gate.
Now they snap out of it and
line up.
HERE comes the plsyl Watch
Il Il it! Clara streaks out of the
front door, charging head-down,
and hits the constable line Squarely
in the center. The eviction notice
falls to the ground.
It's a tumble! Now we will have
to wait until they untangle the
pile to see who has the notice.
Clara evidently is at the bottom of
the heap.
Yes, there she is-and she's Just
swallowing the last scrap of the
notice! Oh boy Oh boy! Hear
those neighborS cheering! We win!
AS speak to you now, We are
carrying the loud speaker back
into the house, along with the
other furniture. Well, it's been a
great night
Don't forget to try to get our
goat. Goodnight