Seward daily gateway., 1932-11-08
SOLUTION OF THE WORLDS TROUBLES


 u From Geneva comes the prognostgation that Japan Will secede from the League of Nations; Germany like wise unless granted full judicial status and the right to arm on parity With her neighbOls Japan gets snOotv toward Secretary o1 State Stmson and tells him she will employ her own methods of reducing the political major tues or the heather Chnee The French are ready to don oSe Oaggy req trousers march Up the street singing the Malsclllalse, and wind up by kissing everybody in sight and ordering another bottle of yin rouge
 Any one ol the above contng2ns is sufficient to give the WOfd the hele eebleS yet not cOnvaescent from t5lII wars ana resultant Expressions, and today the general elections.
 Any day we liable to hear the tocsin calling us to war and any who asks what is all about faces be- ing thrown into -ho pokey and fed porcupines with pitchfoTk
 But there is way all this may be avoided The idea burst III all its bance upon The Gateway editor while guzzhng homebEeW" the other night and while he was beWallng having missed the recent Oympiad.
 Why not settle these world matters in an athletic scramble! Just think of the that would be de- rived by the nations offering the highest and best bid for staging the racas Even Russia could get in on th un less her athletes trpped their whskers If unable to become combatan she could add few feet to her five year pan clear up few of timber and create splendlG battlefield capable of accommodating the world
 Warshps could be converted into ocean liners for the purpose of transporting the remainder of the world to1 the show. Of course this lets Holland Already she must use an escaator to climb LID into the sea- The gath erng of an inter national oata off her wing dam would bust a her dikes. No Duchman wearing those 8Oyard balloon bleeks would have chance wading out.
 And think of the revenue from the hot dog prvilege
 What with modern wireless and teevsion capable of allowing the holding dollar seat to hear and see the jamboree, no one should come away disappointed
 Now that the presidential campaign is over the Lit erary Digest could take straw vote whether we wish ed not and if should be of last years model or an athletic 60iO cut with 20 percent deducted as the share of the nctlon staging the event.
 China could win an ally in England, whose demand for tea at scn kilkenny affair would help her pay off tIe n@-ona md keep the aundrymen in chop suey for least a decade
 Il1-e te ic,5 ot }.aE5 to settle these international boodsts without nuss;ng up the landscape and tearing ones clothes Since the girls have turned prize fighters, crapsIo0ters WTeateIs and bartenders this plan would afford them q to do their stuff and decide the question of who will the pants in future If they wn they be so busy arguing that the sneak out the backdoor and rush the growler. Statesmen who pore dictionaries trying to find word which will designate liar without of fendg his dignity will be able to talk dog musher any country until ne calls out his baseball to begin gunshoeing lot hines for tWirer who has thing on a bomb The more we consider this plan the we are op- posed to pacism and thirst for following each pres idental election.