The Washington times., 1932-07-16
Farmers Get Mad

Farmers Get Mad
But the end you know as well
as 1. The carnival workers
never fail to win. The hero
cracks the crooked sheriff on
the beezer, his rough associates
slap the farmers right and left.
the heroine saves the bearded
lady from a rube who thinks
she's the man who owns the
outfit-and the final episode
shows the entire carnival rid
ing contentedly into the next
town as the moon shines down
and the heroine nestles con-
tentedly in the hero's arms.
Right?
This news story, however. SO
disillusioned me that I Will
never again believe my carnival
stories. In case you didn't read
It, I might tell you that-just
as the carnival was about to
pull out Of Mechanicsville for
Leesburg, Va.-three motor car
loads of farmers appeared and
sprayed bullets all through the
carnival outfit. When the
smoke lifted, IS people had been
injured, four so seriously that
they needed hospital treatment.
It was tough, of course, on
the outfit. But I wish 1 had
a lonesome buck for every
farmer in the nation who will
read that dispatch, leap to his
feet and yodel a big hooray. I
might be able to Stave off the
depression just a little longer.
Miners and Actors
The entire thing brings to
mind an ancient anecdote that,
while it may be familiar to
many, is still one of the best
stories of any year. 1t con-
Germs a combination carnival,
circus and Shakespearian troupe
that was making an extended
tour through the Northwest in
years gone by.
You can just about imagine
the brand of acting to be seen
in any. theatrical troupe that
would ally itself with a car
nival outfit. Even the lowliest
ham who ever caught a to-
mato between the eyes would
pause before hooking up with
such an association. Yet there
they were, actors all-and CIV
ing of their very best.
One evening, in a partic-
ularly tough mining town, the
miners went for plenty on the
various games of chance. In
an ugly mood and because they
were now short of dough, the
men marched over to the the
atrical tent in order to see
what there was to this Shakes
pearian troupe. They soon found
out.
The leading man, a hambo
Of the most chilling variety,
stepped upon the stage and
went through some of his lines.
The audience grew restless be-
fore five minutes had passed.
They began to tell him what
they thought of him, and the
actor made a fatal mistake. He
faced his audience, threw his
tough customers the nastiest Of
looks and then stepped back
into character again.
It was his last personal ap-
pearance. Some twenty guns
barked simultaneously and the
hambo dropped without so
much as a single groan. They
didn't even give him a chance
for an exit line.
The next day, just before they
left town, the troupe buried the
star. They did it slightly be-
fore daWn-because none of the
others had a hankering to meet
the same fate. And over the
appropriate spot they placed a
crude sign:
"Here lies ArtemuS jeremiah
Thorne-WilliamS. He was shot
by the men of this town for
being an actor"
Several hours later the men of
the town were grouped around
the sign. Instead of lamenting
their deed, they were all laugh
ing loudly. For someone had
added a postscript. and whether
1t was written by a miner or an
other member of the troupe no
body will ever know.
"P. ST." it read, "he died in
nOcent."