Evening star., 1932-12-11

picted as the three suitors in the IA
nous casket scene. Said Portia:
Behold, there stands the caskets, no
| BILE creditors.
II YOU chose that wherein's contained
| my likeness on a dollar
Shall straight your war debts be ao-
solved.
But if you fail, without one more
| speech, fair Europeans,
You must come across h1med1ately.
Who shall choose flrst?"
! In turn the debtors chose the cas-
kets, Britain, recoiling from the gold,
picks the silver casket. He found in it
a picture of Ogden Mills, reminding
| him that the debts are to be paid De-
cember Is.
Then France picked the gold casket
! only to discover a champagne bottle,
! with a label, made in California" "
| Belgium turned the leaden casket, all
| that was left, and extracted from it
tariff speech of Charles Curtis, asking
| an embargo against "Texas jackrab-
bits"
France expressed the fear to Britain
they must pay these war ducats to
| Shylock." And Britain agreed: I'VE
cannot forfeit lest we never get another
Loan
Uncle Shylock entered exclaiming:
''To have my debts I've taken an oath
| In Congress"
France vainly bade him hear them.
but he launched upon his own griev-
| anceS:
II heard all the campaign speeches;
now I'll have my debts.
Therefore speak no more, nor send me
notes.
I'll not be made a soft and dull-eyed
fool,
To shake the head, relent, and sign
and yield
| To European spendthrifts.
| Many time and oft
! At Lausanne you have rated me
About my moneys and my Instances.
| Still have I borne 1t with a patient
You called me dollar-chaser. cut-throat,
You prey upon my tourists. deride my
tariffs,
Ruin my commerce. scrap my battle
ships
Shall I bend low and in a bondman's
key
with bated breath and whispering hum
bleness,
| Say this:
Fair sir, you seized upon my mora
torium and
Called it cancellation; another day,
At Lausanne you did conspire, In
'Gentlemen's agreement to put me on
the spot.
want my debts; they hired the ducats
didn't they?
| I've taken an oath in Congress"
Portals Gentle Plea.
Bidding Uncle Shylock be merciful,
( the gentle Portia made this plea:
'"The quality Of mercy Is not strained,
paign years.
1t droppeth as the gentle rain from
| heaven
Upon platform pledges.
It is twice blest; It blesscth both party
| candidates.
Therefore, Shylock, though collection
be thy plea, consider this:
| That in the course of collection, none
of us
Shall see full payment.
We do pray against repudiation
And that same prayer doth teach us all
| to realize
We probably won't get ten cents on the
dollar.
shylock demanded his ducats, but
Portia warned him:
Yet, mark you, Shylock,
In the collection Of these debts,
Shed not one penny Of the private
debts
Our international bankers have in Ger
many;
Nor vary by the weight Of hair those
other loans
Sold at bidding Of Department of Com
| merce and
Franklin Roosevelt's bond house;
Nor take one-twentieth part Of scruple
| from
All the trade and riches promised us
BY Democratic orator and Republican
promiser;
Yet stay; Take not one whit Of life
from Bill Borah's
Conferences for disarmament, Nor
Key Pittmans boosting of the price
! of silver"
| Shylock demonstrated it was not
written in the bond nor in the plat
forms. Convinced at last he asserted
he was only chasing rainbows," doffed
his shabby brown cowl and revealed
himself in his true guise as Santa Claus.
Come, let's all go to Geneva" he
bubbled. and the cast left the stage to
the tune Of Jingle Bells"
One OF the most elaborate musical
numbers of the evening was entitled
The Retreat from Moscow" About
Gems. Smoot and Fess were gathered
a disconsolate group, attired as survivors
OF Napoleons famous retreat, in latter
ed uniforms and with torn flags and
broken guns. The chorus walled:
Where do we go from here, boys.
Where do we go from here?
Anywhere from Kansas to another
hemisphere.
The G. o. P. is of the track,
We need an engineer,
Oh, boys; oh, boys; where do we &c
from here?"
Gen. Fess gave report from Corpl
Coolidge that they had been driven
from Massachusetts with 10000 Re-
publicans lost" Corpl. Couzens had
"ducked into a trench and when he
came out Michigan was $125, 200 to
the bad" The desertion of Trumpeter
and the turning over Of 10000 OF
our troops to McAdoo" elected groans
Fess commented that "saddest OF all
rock bound Iowa, birthplace of our
noble emperor, left him 10000 in the
lurch." Gen. Smoot deplored that Field
Marshal Jim" Watson fought on the
banks Of the Wabash once too often
and lost his shirt. Give him a cheer ~
i Report to Gen. Smoot.
i An orderly reported to Gen Snaoot q
straggler in the ranks, saying:
"He isn't q member Of the q. o. p
he didn't fight with us, and now he
wants to tell us how to reorganize our
armies. He has no right here"
Borah, questioned, admitted he wa