Evening star., 1932-01-17
BY VERNON BOYCE HAMPTON.


and the school system, but
i there Is a place for the parent
In this matter of failure in
child training which has scarcely been
properly emphasized. Parent failures
and problem parents" occupy place
of almost equal Importance with pupil
failures" in the catalogue of school
worries.
The fashioned parent Is fast dis
appearing. Within the last two genera
tions we have had new type develop
ing Twenty years ago remarkable
passage appeared in a book on family
life 1.-THE Shrine Invisible" w. j.
Hampton), describing conditions in the
home. The same applies almost word
for word to the present day, although
an entire new generation has developed
in the meantime.
"The phrase There Is no place like
home carries with it but little signifl-
canoe to millions Of children nowadays.
The more popular rendering today would
be Every place other than home The
glaring lights of the city streets, ball
a peculiar attractive power to children,
Turing them away from their homes.
Many children turn in toward home,
and that reluctantly, when there Is no
place left for them to go. Parents,
in most instances, are tremendously to
blame for this condition of affairs. The
home has been dethroned to their chill
dren because they, as parents, nave
never made an effort to have 1t en-
thEoned in their thoughts and af1ec-
tions. The modern father spends but
yery little time in the companionship
of his family. The time that Is not
consumed by his business or profession
is devoted to lodges and clubs and
social functions. The same Is true
of the mother. She Is absorbed In clubs
and immersed in fashionable fandan-
goes, forgetting the claims her children
have upon her"
This description OF the failure Of the
family life was written to describe the
home In 1910. The picture Is only in
tensified today, the development OF the
apartment house life being perhaps q
major cause.
Trace Discipline Faults to Home.
In one discipline case out Of every two
which come to our attention in the
schools the self-Willed attitude on the
part of the student, evasiveness, or a
tendency to timidity, may be traced to
unsatisfactory home conditions. The
child has been permitted to grow up
undisciplined, overdisciplined or neg
lected.
In many cases this is due to the fall
ure of the father to take his place as
the disciplinarian. He has turned this
function over to the mother, and when
she fails to correct the young offspring
successfully his exasperated Cant you
do anything with the boy?" is all the
encouragement or assistance she re-
ceiveS.
According to the recent statement OF
Theodore w. Darnell, secretary OF the
United Parents Association, Let Ma
Do IT. is becoming the adopted slogan
of more and more modern homes. The
result of this Is not only an unequal
distribution of responsibility In the
home. but also the prevention OF the
child from having the wholesome mas
culine direction which is his heritage.
Due to the too-often weak hand of the
mother, he develops into headstrong
youth, unused to being opposed, deter
mined to have his own way.
Dangers In Lack of Control.
A home that is perhaps typical of
this situation stands out in my mind.
1t shows the dangers to which lack Of
parental control may lead. The father
of the family in question for years has
left control of the child to the mother.
She herself is not woman OF strong
character, and fails utterly in matters
of discipline. The boy has been per-
mitted to do pretty much as he pleased;
He has bulldozed his mother, and
talked back to his father, whose only
response has been clustering attitude,
purely defensive.
The son appears to have no respect
for either parent. He failed in school
and left 1t in spite of the wishes Of
parents and against the advice OF
friends. Rapidly approaching his ma
jority, the boy has grown up with no
influences, and Is going out
into the world to face harsher disci-
pline in walks Of life which will not
sympathize with his selfish aims and
purposes. Have the parents really been
kind to him in failing to show proper
authority?
Cites Case of Pleading Father.
Home problems are frequently added
to school problems in discussions by
parents to my Office. In the
case of a boy, designated for convent
ence Harry" his father came to see
me as the lads grade adviser, desiring
advice and help in the direction of his
son. One could see that the father be-
longed to the pleading type, and that
he probably pleaded with his easy
going son in much the same manner
that he was now beseeching me. He
had given the youth everything he had
ever asked for from babyhood to youth.
The lad took advantage of his fathers
good nature, knowing that his every
wish was law Why worry about passing
school subjects; according to his phil
osophy. school was only place for a
good time.
For the father it was serious mat
ter. He was frantic. What can l do?'
he asked. Harry has everything
can buy, and am willing to go
with him, admonished him, tried to
shame him by comparison with other
lads more successful, and all to no avail.
He just isn't interested. He Is my only
boy and I love him. I will do any
thing for him. I have never whipped
him: l couldn't lay hand on him.
has always been of the
mildest sort, and now he rewards me
by failing nearly all his subjects. Won't |
you do something to help me?"
Upon searching the record, l found |
that Harry had indeed been failing |
with alarming regularity. His father |
had paid me several visits during the |
boys high school career, and we had |
once or twice managed to cheek the |
Students downward course.
1 appreciated the fathers viewpoint.
But I also saw fatal defect in his |
method of control of the child. The
boy had never felt the hand of rigid
discipline in the home. or what use
was our brief five-hour contact in
school with its inhibitions, when there
was daily 19-hour home contact with
the disciplinary lid" off?
Discusses Problem With Student.
We decided upon a new point of at
Jack during our interview, which lasted
over an hour. 1t became necessary to
interview Harry I gave over another
period, of 40 minutes, to a confidential
,alk with the latter, in which I mixed