Imperial Valley press., 1932-12-19
COMMENT ON
SPORT WORLD
BY GEORGE H. BEALR

Dy OLOAOE DLftLG
Pinch-hitting for Henry McLemore
United Press staff Correspondent
LOS ANGELES, Dec. 19.-How-
ard Harding Jones may he regard
ed as something of master mind
by 10000, 900 football fans who fol-
low news of his Southern Califor-
MIA teams, but in his home-well,
be can't even find his own socks.
He can figure out means to
smear Notre Dame on the gridiron,
he can develop All-American tao
kles and ends and devise ways to
/ steer them TO national champion
Slips, but the manner of finding
clean shirt puzzles him complete
/ " although his clean shirts al
ways have had a definite bureau
drawer.
He practically always loses inn
portant keys, he has a most dis
tressing habit of dropping cigaret
ashes on the living room floor and
he never does his Christmas shop
, ping until Christmas Eve when
| lie rushes from store to store, ex-
cited and entirely bewildered.
Like lesser known husbands ne
insists on singing in the shower,
completely off key and with a deal
OF volume to carry the sourest
notes. His singing voice can't be
classified but he keeps on using it.
presumably on the theory it can't
get worse and it might get better.
All these intimate accomplish
ments of Coach Jones came out
during a talk in the Jones home
with the coachs attractive, blonde
wife, Jane.
II should say not" Mrs. Jones
the coach rated All-American as
husband.
Hes terrible during the foot
ball season and he could be coach.
captain and the backfield if any
enc starts an All-American team
for the abSent-minded.
III tell you what he did last
week. He drove downtown with
Mamie our nurse, on some errands.
He came home two hours later
without Mamie. Where is Mamie?'
I asked him. Mamie, how should
know?' he said. Then it dawned
on him he was supposed to have
brought her home. He said Col
darn it, L forgot all about her.
Mamie waited on corner for
more than an hour and then came
home on the street car"
"Just before the Notre Dame
game he got lost on the way home,'
Mrs. Jones continued. eyes. he
really did. He was an hour late
and I asked him where he'd been.
He looked sheepish and told me he
was thinking about a new pass play
and that he made wrong turn
and got lost. Imagine, he's been
criving between the university and
home for years.
They All Do II
Mrs. Jones also told about the
dinner last Wednesday at the home
Of Dick Drake, insurance man.
"The brakes called about D.
m. and said they waited an hour
for us and then had eaten with
out U.S." she explained. II knew
what had happened. Sure enough,
Howard accepted dinner invita-
ton, forgot to tell me about it and
then forgot about the dinner
Coach Jones also is something
less than brilliant at conversation
during the football season.
He'll be sitting at the table
working out plays with the poker
chips for players and I'll say some
thing. About an hour later when
I've forgotten all about it he'll look
UP and say did you ask me some
thing, dear?"
During the interview. Jones. with
his poker chips, was at a bridge
table trying to figure out some
thing unpleasant for the Universi-
ty of Pittsburgh which plays his
Southern California team at Pas
adena New Years day.
/ Occasionally he interrupted to
/ protest rather sheepishly that YOU
shouldn't tell him that"
Now he looked up, the ashes
dribbling from his cigaret to the
floor, to inquire for the third time
in Is minutes the whereabouts OF
their five-year-old daughter, Car
oline.
"She's out playing and I've told
you that three times now, said
Mrs. Jones patiently.
That's right, you did" said
Coach Jones meekly. I'D forgot
/ ten"