Morgan County Democrat. (McConnelsville, Ohio) 1886-1943, 1932-09-22

would pay them all their money if
he were put upon the throne OF
| George. Major Kenneth didn't tell
the people charmed by the Pied
! Piper Concert staged by David, that
the Republican high tariff which
| protects the chosen few has para
| lyzed industry and commerce and
| that there is no market for the
farmers product, due to retaliatory
tariffs by foreign nations. He
didn't tell them that the Democratic
platform for lower tariff would
start the wheels of international
commerce moving and give the tax
payers a means of selling their
goods. and then the taxpayers could
pay their taxes, and Kenneth and
the other teachers would get the
salaries due them.
David took the platform and talk
ed to the charmed audience, on
economy. He is very economical
and good example for the people
to follow. So far he has spent
around sixty-five thousand dollars
to get ten thousand dollars a year
job. How much will he spend be-
fore the campaign is over?
Capucius, ambassador from King
Herbert's court, gave a weeping
plea to the Pied Peter fans to stand
, by King Herbert, as he has kept LIS
out of worse mess He took care
not to recall the campaign prom
ises of 1928 of prosperity and two
chickens in every pot" and also not
to mention that King Herbert in
1928 was an ardent dry, but like
the genuine political weathercock
turns whatever way the political
public wind is blowing, in the hope
of election if the people want the
Volstead Act repealed. In 1928 ne
defeated Alfred E. Smith on a dry
platform, and in 1892 he is a little
damp" but not altogether ''wet."
It's simply wonderful how the Pied
Piper's music helped to lull the
audience to peaceful slumber as
Capucius finished with the Repub-
lican theme song Keep Faith With
Hoover" Just then in the act, the
villain Mr.. Democracy hollered:
eyes, Oh Capucius," but the Bible
says: "Faith without good works is
vain" Capucius retires in con-
fusion.
Enters on the scene Oscar, who
frantically waves his arms, Jumps
up and down and goes into two or
three spasms as the audience man
aged to catch few words about a
crooked Republican faction some
where in the state He reminded
one Of the following little story:
There was brawny blacksmith who
was elected justice of the peace
on his Confederate record law
yer was pleading for damages due
his client for the death of his cow
under freight train. The lawyer
for the plaintiff made a most effec-
tive speech, describing the virtues
of the late COW, describing her
sweetness, gentleness, capacity to
milk, bereavement to her young
calf, and finally, Squire he said,
''if the train had been run as she
bell had been rung as she should
have been rang, and if the whistle
had been blowed as she should have
been blew, this here cow would not
have been injured at the time she
was killed. AS he sat down the
new justice said: "I've heard
enough, plaintiff WINS and levied
judgment for full damages. Just
then, the lawyer for the railroad cut
his moorings. He was a genuine
Republican silver tongued orator.
He scared right into the clouds.
Among other things pertinent to the
issue, he introduced the American
Eagle, the Magma Charta, The First
and Second Manassas, Paul Revere's
Ride, Clusters Last Stand, The Sink
ing of the Titanic, The Bonnie Blue
Flag Which Bears But a Single
Star, concluding the whole by CIV
ing the Rebel Yell, and then fell
in a heap at the feet
of the justice. The justice, wiping
his streaming eyes upon his shirt
sleeve, in a quivering voice mingled
with sobs exclaimed: "Well, don't
that beat all! Defense wins."
AS Oscar finished his speech, we
expected to see the stage employees
drop the American flag, to end the
affair with big splash amid whist
ling and cheers and applause. We
were waiting for Eek Humphries to
come on the stage and tell the VIC
TINS of Pied Peters Pipes to explain
how few weeks ago he could crit
icise Prohibition Officer Bush for
being at the Democratic Rally and
asking if Mr.. Bush was in favor of
the Democratic platform to repeal
the eighteenth amendment. Now
what we would like to know is how
can Eek ask such a question when
be worked so earnestly and jealous
ly for David S. ingalls, who is as wet
as the Muskingum river? But Eek
didn't appear on the scene, and the
play ended with few more heart
talks from the assembled
palm-leaf wavers-in-waiting for
David.
Then the assembled bands, includ-
ng Marietta township band that
'ound no difficulty in missing a
whole day of school, to come here
Ind play at the Republican play as
Pied Pipers. Marietta, especially
tfter all that George White has
lone for this district in new roads
Ind other fayors, even retaining
many Republican office holders on
heir jobs. 1t was such an inspir-
no sight to see a hand from Canrca