The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1932-01-04

they extinguish me, suffocate me.
though that isn't accurate, because
I suffer all the time.
Fact dear, quarrel touches my
mentality dangerously.
I'm sure that I know how 1t
came about. Mother and dad quar-
relied necessarily, frightfully during
my childhood, and all the unpleas-
ant things that happened to me
happened in connection with these
quarrels.
Il grew to hate them; to be
afraid of the loud voices and the
ugly words. Physically afraid. They
made me ashamed, too. knew
the : was disgraceful, and I'd skip
off into a closet and hide and cry.
One day, during a particularly
violent quarrel, l ran away and hid
as usual in my closet-a small one
in the upper hall where dad kept
his fishing and hunting traps.
L went to sleep in there. When
| woke and pushed open the door
Well, never mind, / won't dramatic
it, The house was on fire. The
upper hall was thick with smoke.
l was years old. 1 ran to the
front stairs, and flames we're leap
ing up them. couldn't get through
the hall to the back stairway be-
cause the smoke was too thick. My
picture of it now is exaggerated, of
course. But I think of flames shoot
ing out at me from everywhere
at my head and eyes and feet
leaping and licking and trying to
catch me.
Through it all I heard changing
and screams and shouts, as if the
world we're taking part in a final
monstrous quarrel. Five years old
Is too young to be as frightened as
I was in that hall, choking with
smoke that day.
CT RAN into the bathroom-some
l. idea of water, I imagine. At
any rate, it was at the side of the
house where the fire had gained the
least Roadway.
"Just as : got there fireman,
with his face blackened from smoke,
came through the window. He let
out round oath and reached for
me. That was the end of it--so far
as / was concerned.
HE frightened me much more
than the flames and the smoke.
Like good child, I had gone regu-
larly to Sunday school. I thought
the fireman was the devil, and that
he'd come to catch me.
Il gave up the ghost right then
and there. Tainted, you know.
Strange, but fires don't bother
me in the least, and never have
since then. I'll run as fast as the
rest of them after the fire engine.
But to this day have to stop
deliberately and rationalize the
whole works before can know that
it was not the quarrel before the
fire that day that caused the flames
to lick at me and the smoke to
choke me and the devil himself to
come and get me.
They brought me out Of it all
right that time. The next time the
folks started quarrel I ruined it
by throwing something or other not
unlike an epileptic fit. Scared the
lives out of them.
"A couple of repetitions, and they
sent me to grandma's to live for the
winter. I recovered beautifully from
the fits. But still I run for my
closet and hide when l hear
quarrel.
IT don't coddle myself and think
it is cute and original TO be like
that. I'm ashamed of it to the
bone. But it's true.
"A quarrel takes something out
of me that I don't ever get back.
Now. do you think that person
who liked me, and to whom I'd ex-
planned all this-much more in de-
tail than I've explained it to YOU
would drag me through the smoke
and flames again, and give me over
to the devil?"
''But-but, Barry" Cecily quay
cred, "it--it is too terrible. 1t makes
me afraid. Suppose. I'm scared to
death. I'll never dare"
y =
MO, no, darling. Nothing like
IN that. I'm not freak-and
the fits were purely hysterical; I
haven't had one for sixteen years.
Tn not a freak.
Il don't mean that I can't stand
an argument nor a discussion nor
that 1 have to have my own way
about everything. You could tell
me to 60 jump in the lake, if you
felt like it, ana didn't scream it.
Don't ever scream at me, or call
me names in loud voice-will
you?"
Barry! But-but exactly how do
you define a quarrel, dear?"
~ nNfI