Evening star., 1932-03-06
CHAPTER Xxx.

A ND now once again, Judy was ir
n the city. But this time she
II knew she would never go back
~ She and Stan were in a dead
lock. She could not go forward
In hanpiness-but she would never 90
hack along that old road she had walk
ed with Stan. That way of heartaches
and ecstasy-that FOOLS paradise OF q
young girls dreams. was barred forever
Now she knew that love was not a
matter of starshine and romantic pas
sion, It was a thing Of loyalty and
warm deep respect. 1t was tnlng OF
comradeship and passion, OF sacrlnce
and Remuneration. It was thing OF
absence and loneliness
She had not left in flt OF neaolong
pride and outrage, as she had run away
that other time. Deliberately, almost
coldly. she had walked out of the Car
ter house and gone up to a city hotel.
The next day she had sent man 1or
her trunks and had them stored.
She hunted for a small apartment
no easy task to find a place Wnlcn
was suitable, for she had taken Side
slip with her. The dog. was precious
companion now in her loneliness
moreover he seemed link to the past
with Nick.
Eventually she found a place where
she could have him-out in the Marina
district. pleasant three-room apart
ment, where the windows gave her a
glimpse of flashing blue bay ano
steamers gliding into the haroor
through the Gate.
It was the view which decided Judy
1t seemed to bring her nearer to the
| thought of Nick. Along that blue pain
went the great white and gold steamers
which reached China. Perhaps Nicks
eyes would rest on that very boat sne
was watching now A childish no
tion-but it brought comfort. Mace
the Pacific seem not quite so wide.
Very different this dwelling in the
city from that other time, thanks to
Madames generosity. She was no
frightened and forlorn girl now. Sc
cure and luxuriant /. . yet there were
times when Judy thought wistfully,
that that other girl she had been was
the luckier of the two. At least she
had been alive, even though she had
fought desperately for life. Now Judy
felt that she had passed into some
strange country, where life was sus-
pended and only the form OF things
remained.
To wake in the morning and see the
day stretch ahead like an endless des-
ert Why work when there was no
, need? 1t only kept some girl out OF
work some girl who needed the
support Charity ++ s,s Yes ,o5 she ,1 conla tha
empty days.
A strange empty time sometimes
even Nick did not seem real. Mo-
ments of panic-childish panic-when
she closed her eyes and tried to recall
his face and found that she could not
do so.
The mood would pass She would
sit up half the night writing to him
opening her heart.
Perhaps because she was no longer
under the same roof with Stan. Nick
wrote more freely more at length.
They grew to know each others inner
most minds very we'll, in those letters,
perhaps more seachingly than personal
contact might have accomplished.
Letters from Summerfield we're like
letters from a lost world. Now and
then Rosamond Curley wrote to her
cheerful, trivial gossip about the town
she had once known, people she had
grown up among. 1t was much like
picking up book she had read long
ago and half forgotten. Not even the
sister, telling of the peaceful death of
the old lady, seemed really real. Aunt
Hetty had raised an orphan girl long
ago-a wistful, romantic, impulsive girl
"a little dumb, Judy now thought.
That had all been in another lifetime
Surely there was little about this
poised and reserved young woman
which recalled the Judy Denning of
Summerfield.
She got up later and later each
morning. Sometimes it was only Side
slips impatient whining to get out for
his daily run which forced her out
then. So easy to dream over the morn
ing paper in the sunny dinette; to sit
listless, watching the ships slide along
the blue space of water outside the
window. Why struggle? :. Why feel
too deeply? Look how she had struggled
for happiness-Look how she had suf-
fered in this last year Her mar
riage wrecked. Her baby dead. Her loved
one snatched away to the other end OF
the world beyond her reach :. Better
to drift and not feel too deeply q. .
Mary came to see her and was
shocked Judy did not realize how thin
and pale she had grown. Il was abso-
lutely frightened" Mary explained Wig
orously that night to her husband, "she
seemed to be all eyes, and there was
an expression about her that just
wrung my heart. AS though she ex-
pected someone to take swing at her
and she was too proud to duck!" But,
Mary-like, she hid this apprehension
under bracing scolding.
You can't let yourself go like this,
Judy! You'll go to seed! You've got
to rouse yourself. Get system into
your days and live up to it. Like the
British consul on the tropical island,
you know Though he was the only
white man. he always dressed for din
ner just to keep himself up to the
mark. And you should have maid;
it isn't good to live alone like this!"
"All right" said Judy meekly, I'll
dress for dinner! But not the maid,
Mary! I want to be alone. I don't
want anyone around, all the time!"
Judy faithfully kept her word. She
rose at an early hour and took Side
slip for long, brisk walk over the
hills. Her favorite course became the
busy Italian district down near Fisher
mans wharf. For hours she would sit