The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1932-02-05
He didn't infect it like a question

anu sue lOISDOIc " COuluCALs
did you agree with him from the
beginning?" he asked. 1.-THE night
told you I'd resigned from my old job
and gone into this-or any time since,
for that matter-have you foreseen
any other end than failure?"
IT didn't complain, did II" she de-
manded holly. II backed you up. I
helped all could"
That's the pointi'' he shouted at
her. "Now we're getting at it."
He lowered his voice, but went on
speaking no less vehemently. "You
didn't complain. You backed me up.
You sacrificed yourself. You even let
me sacrifice Edith. You were what
Bert called good sport about 1t.
Why? Why didn't you complain? Why
did you back me up?"
She was crying; and he waited until
she'd finished with her handkerchief.
II really want an answer to that"
he then insisted. "Why?"
ITO show that was some good, I
suppose" she told him forlornly.
"And is that the reason you're will
ing to mortgage the house, too? To
show that you're a good sport?'
That goaded her into a squirt Of re-
sistance. tits your house, isn't It?
You earned the money to pay for It."
"All the same, you have right to
it, even legal right. Your security,
and the children's, Is bound up in 1t.
And now, as it seems to you, I'm go
ing to throw it away on the last fling
of my folly. And you say you're will
ing to let me do it! In order to be
good sport? Is that it,"
II don't know" she said desperately.
Eyes, If you like. I don't know what
you're trying to make me say"
He hadn't, consciously, been driving
her, with all his questions, toward any
specific admission. Nevertheless he
had been trying for something. He
had not merely been trying wantonly
to hurt her, lashing out at random.
It was not she herself he was tearing
at, but something that stood between
them. Draperies He didn't believe
he could make her understand that.
Suppose you weren't being a good
sport" he said. Suppose you weren't
being anything. Just yourself That's
what I'm trying to get at. What would
you say then?"
II don't know what you meant" she
cried. "What do you want me to say?
That I won't let you mortgage the
house?"
"What do I wantT' ne threw back
at her. What do you want? You
yourself. AS you are! Not being any
thing"
She stared at him as If she was
getting frightened. You're not your
self, today" she said. ''I've never
seen you like this before"
He grinned at that. She was see
ing him just as he was trying to see
her-and she didn't like it.
"What was it you really hoped for"
he asked, when told you I'd gone in
with Mariner? Did you hope I'd sue
coed or did you hope I'd fail?"
"Of course L hoped you'd succeed"
"'Of course again! But are You
sure? Here's a test for you. When
you were busy around the house
washing dishes and so on-which end
ing to the adventure did you play
with? Did you ever dream 1t out that
my hopes had come true? That I'd
justified myself? Made good and
given you everything you wanted?
Travel? A big house? Opportunities
for the children? don't believe 1t. !
think you always ended it--like this.
Half an hour ago, when came home
to lunch, and told you Bert had turned
me down, and that your consent to my
mortgaging the house was the only
resource had left-that's the moment
you've been waiting for, all along. But
it isn't coming off quite as you meant
1t to, think"
81 think you're crazy!" she cried.
'.Really out Of your head. Why should
l want you to fail?"
"That isn't as hard to answer as Il
sounds. The more I'm in the wrong,
the more you're in the right. How
does it look-to the Willards, for in
stance? Your husband resigns good
Job and goes chasing will-o'-the-wisps;
throws away his savings, can't pay his
bills, forces his son to work his way
through college and his daughter to
take a job as his stenographer; and
through 1t all you never complain.
Why, it makes heroine of you! No
one can say you aren't loyal wife
and good sport. That's what you
want. That's the conviction you want
above anything else. You'll go through
anything to keep it bolstered up. Whyf
That's what I want to know. What
are you afraid Of looking hke-tO your
self or anyone else? Why can't you
take it for granted? Oh Cd! Why
can't you be human, for once"
Across the table she sat very still
looking at him with somber eyes.
"You hate me-" she said with pro-
found conviction. "You must have
been hating me for years."