The Waterbury Democrat., 1932-12-31
ANALYSIS OF THE BIRD SEED JOKE.

| ANALYSIS OF THE BIRD SEED JOkEs | The wiseacre public still likes to be hum- bugged and the Wiscacrcs like their humbug | gilded and costly.
 A well known Doctor of Divinity" the wise- acre prospects assured by the vendor of
 imported bird seed, tested the bird seed and l even examined samples of 1t under the micro
 scope, and reported that his tests proved con- clusively" the superiority of the brand over other brands of seed offered to the public 'in rapidity of reaction and amount of gelatin developed" The minister with the microscope
 is so well known" that his identity is not even divulged by the concern marketing the bird seed. The reverend gentlemans innate modesty probably rccoied at the thought of being caught using microscope Frying, that is. and
 moreover it implies that one is willing to be- 1ieve only what one can see for oneself. Doc tor of Philosophy, now. or even a Doctor of Laws might have conducted such an investiga-
 ton of constipation remedies, but dear me! Another vendor of imported birdseed stakes his sales psychology on the assertion that pos-
 itively no other physic, laxative. cathartic, pur- gative or intestinal regulator is permitted or | given to patients in certain well advertised talks if not in print) but his brand of seed. This catches lot of smart lawyers, school teachers and business executives; I know be cause they write to to check on 1t before they send on the money for trial or house. | hold size package of the birdseed. Must make the boys who run the santarium pretty mad.
 pushing of number of new-fanged and of course quite expensive physics
 The only purpose of the daily eating of such
 seeds is to provide bulk and fabrication. The
 when it absorbs water; the fabrication depends
 on the freeing of the mucus-like substance by the action of moisture on the seeds. Ordinary faxseeds serve both purposes in- comparably better than any imported wild plantago pantain seeds can. Don't take my word for it. Steep teaspoanful of fiaxseeds nj a pint of water, and compare the result with
 any of these high priced substitutes for flax seeds that come in fancy packages all wrapped with hokum. In fact common ~haxsceds (un- ground naxseeds not the mea) are at least four times efficient tho best of the extrav- | agant limitations. You may prove this. too by taking one-fourth the regular dose of faxseeds daily.
 Remember now, I am not recommending flaxseeds physc, nor do say it will cure anything. But do say plain faxseeds. which you can buy in any drugstore, seedstore or grocery. at q few cents a pound, is more effi- cient for the purpose than is any brand of inn ported bird seed.
 QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS Individual, Private and Personal
 would like your advice on what to do for q
 bad case of. x. (NIrs $. @
 send to the inclOsed address your cure for CIR. WI
 How docs a person act when they are in the
 first stage of. (F. C. E.)
 Answer-I am glad to send instructions and
 advice to any correspondent who tells me he or
 she has acne (blackheads and pimples). have no cures to send in any circumstances This being health column 1t is not the place to suggest symptoms.
 Readers will derive the greatest benefit from
 this column if they remember that 1t Is a
 HEALTH service. not long g-distance clinic or
 quack business, and that it Is PERSONAL
 service. Any information. advice instruction
 send by mail is for YOU, the correspondent,
 and unless am satisfied you are the individual
 who seeks the advice, don't send any.