Evening star., 1932-11-16


their mothers and teachers
~ When one comes along the best
thing to do is to study him to
learn the secret of his affiction, for an
affection 1t certainly is. A contrary
child is unhappy and an unhappy child
does not grow either in mind or body
When a child says, ct WON'T
whether in words or actions does not
matter-he closes his mind and sits
inside in the darkness Of his anger and
fear. You never meet the one without
the other. Anything that brings fear
brings anger with it. They are twins.
Until we can help the child free him
self of the fear he cannot come out
and play. He is a prisoner to his fear,
or, as we are terming it now, his stub
bornness.
Children who are not certain about
their power to do what Is asked Of
them are likely to balk. They have not
the power of language to tell us all
they are feeling All they know about
it Is that they feel, 81 won't. I can't,
No." We have to look behind these
expressions to find what Is creating
the doubt and fear in the child's mind.
We have to win him to trust and con-
fidence before he will venture another
step.
we cannot accomplish this by scold-
ing and shaking and slapping. All that
adds to the difficulty. You can't expect
child to feel free and brave when you
are raging at him and slappng him.
Instead of that, wait a minute until
your wrath cools and your reason takes
hold. Wait until you can see this fear
ridden, obstructed child, closed in the
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until you are sorry for his plight and
| desire to help him, before you speak
or move.
Then take a good look at him. If he
seems TO be enjoying his contrary dis
position say. very calmly, with assumed
indifference, Every well You needn't y
and occupying yourself to the exclu-
sion of him and his deeds. Find some
| thing interesting to do so that his eyes
follow you and he longs to be at 1t
| too. When he sidleS along to you and
says, LET me, let me-" be gracious, but
not too effusive, and say, If you like,
and let him. In his interest and en-
thusiaSm he will be released from his
bonds and go merrily for time. When
| you find him in condding mood, talk
to him gently and tell him the story OF
| Jonah who wouldn't do what he was
\
whale. If he is old enough you can
explain about the whale, Jonah's own
dark mind where he shut himself out
from all the lovely things about him
Tell him if he wants to be glad and
happy he must find a way Of saying
YES" Don't rub. 1t in. Touch 1t
gently and pass on. for there are other
times coming.
, If he has an attack at a dangerous
| time, when he wants to do what will
hurt him, or refuses to do what will
save him, and your hands and heart
are full, hold on to your reason, picl
him up firmly, without anger, and put
him where you want him to be. If ht
has a tantrum, reach for a bowl OF
cool water and douse him with it unit
his mood changes. But never lose your
own control
Never, if you value your Relationship
with a child, enter into a conflict o.
wills. Never tell child that he cam
have anything to eat until he eats thai
spinach, that he can't leave the room
until he picks up the blocks. Go rounc
the obstruction, bide your trne. anc
help. Force win never help here.
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