The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1932-03-29

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would be advisable for me to marry a
fellow know loves me, but whom I do
not love? I like him lot and respect
him more each time I see him. He really
is wonderful fellow. He is nice look
ing, dresses well. has nice disposition,
ana IS thoughtful toward everybody. I
tbin me i Idea idea Of marriage to him and
l am nome girl. I would adore a
h hUebsn q n my own; my w., children: and
nuSosnq fo 70 care Tor. We have gone TO-
other perfectly. He has been waiting for
my answer several months and I want
to do right by him.
TERESA ANN.
Dear Teresa Ann-After reading
your letter I can not help wonder
ing what your conception of love is.
Your attitude toward the Young
man has all the earmarks of love,
yet you diSclaim any emotion.
Would you mind writing again to
tell me exactly what it is you ex-
pect that is missing?
1 am not opposed to the marriage
OF convenience, provided the part
ner5 have mutual sympathies. Such
marriage sometimes turns out far
better than the marriage contracted
under the influence of blind love.
Romantic people expect more from
marriage than it has to give. and
despair the first moment their rela-
tlonShip is exposed to a strain. Thev
are unhappy to discover that mar
rage is not a bed of roses and that
their partner in wedlock is not one
of the gods.
Confidence and friendship are
more trustworthy as a basis for liy-
ing together than a mad crush, be-
cause the crush never lasts, and
When it is gone the partners often
are appalled, because they have
nothing to say to each other. A
deep understanding, a close friend
ship, combined with common tastes
and interests, is the best foundation
in the world for a successful mar
riage.
You and you only can decide
whether you want to marry this
young man. I only can help you to
clarity your mind
|
Dear Jane Jordan-I am % and have
years older than myself. We both have
Nov we own our, home and have -' two
never seems to be satisfied. He auarreIs
an the time. When he's not quarreling,
eTy pr Po4t 70 BsGbaTse 60 to the groc
one drops in, or if lady happens to be
mere anG h when nt he comes home. he tells me
at the head and never do thing.
keep up my home. and children and
c 9ayS his ;. meals zeal ready on time His
from home two days week, and use nv
money for the home. When / object 70
out if I want to. but hate ate to i leave AZ ses
nome that I've worked eleven years to
obtain. ~
Dear Disgusted-You have a home
which you have and two small chill
dren who have a right to both par
ents. would try first to correct the
condition within your home before
you took any drastic steps toward
breaking it up.
Let us try to understand the stu
alton. When two partners quarrel
continuously, it is because each is
struggling for supremacy over the
other. Each feels that he owes it TO
his own prestige to assert himself.
Each attempts to establish q super
Tor feeling about himself by running
the other partner down, and. if a
third party is listening, so much the
/ better.
When your husband finds fault
with you, he does it because it
makes him feel superior by COM
parison. He is trying to build I'D
MS own ego and going about it in
the wrong way. When you fling his
faults IN his face, doesn't it make
you feel at least momentariIy that
you are better woman than he is q
man?
You can help him by being a
smarter psychologist than he is.
Don't mention your new light on
why human beings behave as they
do. But start building up his ego in
healthy ways to take the place of
his unhealthy methods.
BY little tactful methods. make
him feel comfortable about himself.
Make him think he is a person of
Importance. Ask his opinion in a
confidential manner. Defer to his
Judgment as often as possible, and
never hurt his feelings by criticism.
AS soon as he comes to feel sure
OF his position in the household. .
as soon as he can feel sure he has
impressed his family thoroughly
with his own powers, he will feel
less need to attract your attention
by loud, unpleasant methods. This
plan works like a charm in skillful
hands, but it requires brains and
good self control.
Kanfnn.n. DILL l. ILL