The Chapel Hill weekly., 1932-03-18

il were, on the waiting hist in the tUt7-
serial emporium. My turn was COM
ing at Toms solitary, plush chair that
sprawled you into helpless horizontal
ness for the bilowing lather and rat
thing razor, and then bumped you into
unannounced verticality for the hair
cut and the shampoo. Pete Murphy,
highly perfumed and powdered. had
+ been thrown from the magic chair and
was waiting in the shop f0r. Shep
/ BRYAN who was in the midst Of his
own ordeal They had been conduct
ing symposia with Tom on everything
from his concepts Of Or. Horace vii
liams' "PhiAosophic Basis OF Theism'
down to the economic causes of the
rise in the prices of poSsum suppers
during the past winter. My time would
come soon and Tom would flatten me
out and soap me and tonsorally
grapple' me.
Tom" said Shep, nov since you
and Mr. Murphy and | have finished
/ Dr Williams course and the eco
nomics of possum seppers, what are
your ideas on all that the magazines
are beginning to say about lnvestiga
tions Of occult phenomena by the So
cety for Psychical Research2'
Yes, Tom" added Pete, give Us
the benefit of your profoundest ratio
cinations.'
/ / closed Tom big album containing
autographed photographs of old stu
dents, some of them to fortune and to
fame well known, and threw 1t on the
latest number of The roiict Gazette
on the marblc-top table ! was inter
c,ted | forgot the buzzinE flies and
the vcrna lanEuor. Things began
/ to pop Me for a seat IN the front
row
"Well now, gentlemcn.' sand Tom,
stroppinE his razor, my observation
that is to say, the Justtlable distrl-
button of my intellectual jurisdiction
IS somewhat contrary to the implca-
ton Of that muttudnous habllta-
ton
Tom" said Shcp, "rcmoye a por-
tiun Of the lAthrr from my left eye
and clucldatc your meaning
YES, Mr Bryan, sir, rcJolned
Tom. II will proceed to elucidatc, +
you viii oblige me with IA amplliica
ton Of yo' primary cXpostuiAtlon.'
"le means" entered Pete. what do
YOU think about all this talk Of ghosts
and spooks and hants?"
"Ah, gentlemen" FASTENED Tom, II
assure you was fully aware OF the
essential cogcncy Of yo' primary IN
cision, but | thanks Mr.. Murphy for
| his benehcent simplihcation, an my
response is harmonious with the die
tates of modern science there am t
no such thing as IA ghost or spook or
hant."
ycntured to break in and to ask
Tom if, on mature thought, he did
not concedc that there were more
things in heaven and earth than his
or Horatios philosophy had dreamed
of.
"Naw. sir" Grated Tom, There
amt no superstitional element IN THIS
terrestrial cosmogony. My mind has
n. II, ,-s,f TON FnI
every fragmentary vestigation OF su~
pernatural cnthralment. ! lives an
moves an has my bein' in the torren-
tia magnitude Of knowledge an SCI
ence AS they irrigates my intellect
from the dome Of this resplendcnt UNI
versity."
YES. Tom, Abraham Lincoln freed
your body" suggested Pete Murphy,
"and the influence Of this great seat
Of learning has freed your nina, ana
happy indeed are you.
Il tell you, gentlemen, added fom,
Il brides myself on my transcendent
ability to walk out Of my house at mid
night on a Friday, the thirteenth Of
the month, and kick a conJure bag OF
snake bones an salt out Of my path,
an throw a brick AT a black cat, an
then 20 on out to the graveyard an
set on the fence an smoke my pipe
til as Mr. Frank Batchelior says
(C0ntinHcd on neIt pdge)