Evening star., 1932-05-10

Templeton Jones was fuming.
II hate to be called simply by my
last name" he glowered. Il want peo-
pie to address me either as Mr.. Jones
or Temp.
What I can't stand, and wouldn't
for a moment tolerate, if I could pre-
vent it, is this sloppy habit so many
Of my compatriotS have fallen into, OF
addressing me and others merely by the
last name.
Now my surname is all right, I am
not a bit ashamed Of it, but it has
been the custom in a democratic Ma
tton for men to address each other by
the slightly formal title Of Mister
After all, this Mister means little
II anything, any more, but it still re-
veals a great deal about the man who
uses 1t, If nothing concerning the fell
low to whom it is applied.
The man who refuses you this plain
ancient and democratic title, the same
Tor all men, usually is some whipper-
snapper who would fail to notice you
at all If he could get out of it.
Conditions being such as they are,
ne scarcely dareS pass you without SO
much as a word, but he has hit upon
a scheme which strikes him as being
about as near to insult as he can
come.
Usually he makes a sort of grunting
sound, before he calculates your last
name. Now this grunt distinctly is not
an attempt to call you Mister or even
anything else; what he is trying to do
is to say hello
That being too much trouble, he
yet makes very half-hearted pass at
It, resulting in close resemblance to
the typical hog grIlnt
linen ne floors you with the one
olStnct word, your last name, in my
case the very common Jones Per-
maps he realizes that Jones is a very
popular name; the city directory and
the telephone book are full Of Joneses.
His real aim. however-and 1 think
l know this wight well enough to be
fair to him-is to crush you fat by
addressing you in the manner of q
superior to an inferior, OF lord to a
servant.
1T is we'll known to this verv class
conscious world that the democratic
title Of Mister is not accorded bv a
home owner to his menialS, such as his
butler, or gardener, or chauffeur.
Such an indispensable person is
called either by his first name or by
his last name. He is never accorded
the dignity Of being called Mr.. Jen-
kins' by the master. Cook may call
him Mr.. Jenkins if she pleases, and
so must the housemaid.
When this bounder comes along. on
plane with you, and yet fails to give
you the distinction which is SO little,
after all, and so meaningless in most
senses, he knows full well that you will
resent it.
That, of course is exactly what he
wants you TO do. He feels himself
your superior, and he wants you to
know 1t. And, like so many OF such
subterfuges. it is put IN such a style
that there is no getting back at it.
IF you ignore it, he wins.
"If you dare make any protest you
put yourself in a foolish light.
1T is just another case of heads he
wins, tails you lose"
*%
Jones waived an oratorical hand
Forms of address," he continued,
"are among the most interesting usages
in the whole range of language
Many people seem to think it abso-
lutey necessary to call others by some
name or other. when, as a matter of
fact, a courteous, simple greeting will
do.
Thus, instead of believing an &C
quaintance's last name at him, it is a
great deal easier and much more
courteous to say, simply, Good morn
ing or Hello or some such thing.
why grunt Jones to Jones and
Smith to Smith? And what does such
a greeter do when he meets Mr..
Cholmondeley?
Il have been friends with one man