The Washington times., 1932-06-02
JACK COLLINS
EXPLAINS
GAME
Rx GINO SINH

SS~~S~-
ever popular assistant principal,
was sitting at his desk.
Jack Collins phone broke the
quite scratch, .Sch Of Jack Col
Inns pen with q harsh, inSistent
jangle. It rang once, twice, three
times and out. On the third ring
Jack Collins gently laid down his
pen, He had been hard at work
figuring the Eastern lineup for
the annual faculty game with Tech
at Eastern Stadium tomorrow at
$3.50.
Dreamily he turned to gaze at q
patch Of cerulean sky Cor was 1t
a patch on the gardeners. over
alls?).
Jack Collins wondered, then he
leisurely lifted himself from his
perch, and sauntered to the win
dow.
Tulip Tip-TOer
Looking out he noticed a young
ster "tip.toeing through the tu-
lips" cor is that q song?)
OK6b, JhCA SAUkA~SCus
The xii skatted quickly and
noiselessly
Satisfied, Jack turned to Lis
filing cabinet to look for letter
lost six years ago come next Tues
day, if it doesn't rain. After a
diligent search which bore no
fruit (cornet solo-"Yes, we have
no bananasD, Jack chirruped,
"Ah!" lifting his eyebrows. ct
was a big load off his mindD
Next he perambulated to the
dictionary to discover the mean
ing Of "osteoporosis."
Rapidly he ran his finger down
the column of words, slowing
down as the green light turned
to amber. He found his word
and read it's meaning. "Ah!" he
hissed, again lifting his eyebrows
(another load off his mind.
Sweeps Up Phone
Satisfied he strode to his desk,
swept up the phone, clamped the
receiver unto his ear and warbled
cheerily "Hello!"
A wait.
eyes, this is Mr.. Collins"
eyes, madam, everything is.
o. X. for the annual faculty
baseball game between Eastern
and Tech. It will be committed
tomorrow at the Eastern Sta
dunn at $3.50.
"NO, nam, that wasn't Babe
Ruth you saw out there. That
was "Chief" GuyOn getting In
shape for tomorrow. No, mann,
the "Chief" will not be per
mitted to protest after every
successful play Of Tech. Time
out will be declared at the end
of each inning, when and If it
ends, and the Chiefs" protests
will be registered then.
''NO, man. Walter John.
son has not been signed to teach
"ornithOIOgy" at Eastern tomOr-
row. That's bird of another
color. No, man, our pitcher
has not borrowed JOhnSOn'S arm
for the game. I may point out
that that would be a physical
impOSsibility. JohnSOn's arm
would be far too big for our Mr..
Suber.
eyes, nam. The strangle
hold is barred, and the players
will not be permitted to hit in
the ClinCheS. Base runners may
be allowed to use q bicycle be-
tween bases"
Jack, receiver glued to his ear,
cast an anxious look at his
watch, gazed equally as anxiously
at the darkening sky, softly whiS-
tied two verses of the America,
the Beautiful and again looked
at his watch.
After five minutes Of silence
he said emphatically:
"NO, man. You are welcome.
GOOd-by."
And so, folks, all the students Of
Tech and Eastern. and quite a
few stragglers from Western, Cen
trail and Business are looking for.
ward eagerly to the Eastern Stad-
ium tomorrow, where the worm
will get its chance to turn with
q vengeance.
It is expected that the volume,
tone and frequency with which a
certain peculiar noise will re-
sound in the course of the after
noon would make Eddie Cantor
turn green with envy.