davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1932-07-16

band. Perhaps at the trial OF this
suit, the presiding Judge will throw
some light on how these things may
be done in a manner becoming nus
band.
X X X
Despite all the talk about repara-
tions at Lausanne, the thing the con-
ferees really decided was to let Uncle
Sam pay for the war.
X Y X
Now that someone in Texas has pro-
duced a fearless onion, we presume
that all the steak and -onions devo-
tees will be crying just for sheer JOY.
X X X
The difference between a statesman
and politician Is that the first is
working for the public, while the sec
ond has the public working for him.
X X y
Now that fashion has decreed the
return of long skirts, it looks as if
women will be taken at face value
again.
A music critic says that all good
singing is heavenly. That may be
true, but the most we can say for Or
binary singing is that it is unearthly.
X X X
One of the paradoxes of our times
is that frozen assets make things hot
for business.
Copyright, 1882, NEA Service, Inc.)
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1932-07-16
Ending Reparations
New York TimeS)

The announcement of the Lausanne
agreement, the full and technical de-
tails OF which are published this
morning, is great event, rich in
promise Of good. It bids fair to
quicken hope not only in Europe but
throughout the whole world. A per-
sistent disturber of the peace is re-
moved. A long step has been taken,
not only toward European appease-
ment and better understanding, but
toward financial stability, recovered
confidence and stimulus to CONNER
cial exchanges. When the full effects
are realized in the United States, and
when 1t Is accepted here that, pend
ing . readjustment Of the war debts,
the existing moratorium must natur-
ally be extended, the improvement in
financial sentiment and business out
look cannot fail to be marked in this
country also.
To dispute over the question who
Is entitled to the credit for this well
come settlement is a sterile proceed
ing. Many contributed to the auspi-
cious result. It may be held partly
due to President Hoover's insistence
that Europe proceed to set her own
house in order before making any ap-
proaches to the United States. In the
actual negotiations 1t is evident that
Prime Minister Macdonald played a
highly useful part as intermediary
and conciliator. But success could
not have been attained had it not
been for the resolve of both the Ger
man delegates and the French to
make their minds meet, at almost any
sacrifice, In order to get rid of a
threat to peace not only between
their two countries but in all Europe.
Both Chancellor Won Papen and Pre-
mier Herriot, to mention only the
. heads Of the respective delegations,
seem to have taken their courage in
both hands. conceding much to each
other, but both obtaining the one
thing on which they had set their
hearts. Il Is what they have been able
to achieve In bringing France and
Germany together that makes the
eighth Of July, 1882, day from which
70 date hereafter.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1932-07-16

Siberian serfs; the publicist who
averts public wrath from such people
by acting as their apologist-these
men, without exception, think that
they are doing the right thing.
They are, in other words, scrupu-
lousy honest according to their lights
The tragedy is that the lights by
which they live are at fault.
That is the point we must recog-
nize il we are to iron out the kinks
in our national life. It isn't enough
to have leaders who are honest-for
most men, after all, are as honest as
they know how to be. They must also
know exactly where they are going
In plain English, they must combine
honesty with intelligence.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1932-07-16
1T WON'T BE LONG NOW

Many Of us can remember time
when intelligent people deliberately
exposed their children to humps,
measles, whooping cough, scarlet fe-
yer or chicken poX. because they be-
lieved that every one must have these
diseases sooner or later and so it was
better to have them in childhood and
get it over.
Today this is regarded as a crime.
even in backward communities. Now
and then child dies of one Of these
so-called diseases Of childhood. Sensi-
BILE folk know. too, that no such ill
ness is good" for a child, and ac-
cordingly the modern practice is to
try to protect children from contract
ing these diseases, and in an encour-
aging number Of cases children are
growing up without ever suffering
from such diseases. Physicians and
health authorities nowadays do not
refer to these diseases as diseases of
childhood" Childhood Is getting a
better deal.
Superstitions which were all very
we'll for medical profession and laity
so or 100 years ago are absurd today.
Before We knew anything about the
cause of diphtheria, pneumonia, tu-
berculosis, cerebro-spinal meningitis,
tonsilitis, whooping cough and the
other respiratory infections, the the
Dry of exposure to cold and wet had
the virtue of necessity. The doctor
had to come to bat with some sort of
explanation for the illness, and what
could be more suitable than that?
Everybody had to be more or less
exposed to weather changes, drafts,
occasional wetting of the feet, damp
ness, raw winds or other discomforts.
Hence it was always plausible enough
how he came down under the
weather."
The cold superstition is by no means
discarded by the medical profession
as whole, but it is fading. The dumb
public is beginning to suspect that the
eminent medical mans early bulle-
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1932-07-16

wonderful! Who Is he. Dan? How
did 1t happen?"
Phillips drew himself up in mock
dignity. "It's like this. lady" he
began. Il was walking down the
street."
stop 1t this minute!" Cherry In.
sisted. And tell me what's really
happened. Who is this writer and
how did you meet him?"
"It's not a he" Dan told her.
ITS her Brenda Vail-ever
read anything Of hers? To tell the
truth neither have l but she's one
Of the big Shots" He ratified off the
names of half-dozen magazines to
which Brenda Vail had contributed.
She's here on business. Something
about some land she owns and
wants to sell. Rogers usually does
all the literary interviews, you
know. but he's on vacation. l
didn't have much to do this after.
noon and Bates sent me over to talk
to Miss Vail. It seems that years
ago when she was a kid she had
an aunt who lived here. She-I
mean Miss Vail. not the aunt
used to spend part of the summers
here. It made pretty fair feature
about the famous author coming
back to the scene of her childhood
but that's not the important part!
1--WE got to talking about writ.
ing. She's-oh, she's marvellous!
The minute you see her you know
you're not meeting an ordinary
person. She has beautiful red hair
and big, sort of gray.green eyes-I
don't know how to describe her ex.
actly. There's something about
her. though. that's different from
other people. She wanted to know
If I'd ever written anything except
newspaper stun and when I said
I'd tried but hadn't been able to
sell anything she asked me II she
could see one Of my stories. Said
she'd read 1t and maybe she could
advise me where to send II. Can
you imagine that? A writer like
Brenda Vail going to all that trou.
Bile for someone she'd never seen
before?"
Cherry had been listening intent.
ly. TITS fine. DAM" she assured
him. what are you going Ia
take?"
"Why, / thought I'd show her
that yarn about the kids in 1uye.
nile court - the one I called
'Kempy's Crime Nobody else has
seen 1t. I figured there might be
a sort of a jinx on the other story.
The one that came back after sent
it out. Miss Vail said II I'd bring
1t over to the hotel tonight she'd
read it."
You're going to take It to her
tonight"
"Sure. You see don't know how
long she'll be In town. It depends
on this business deal, she says.
Gosh. Cherry, suppose she likes my
story! Wouldn't that be great? You
sec she knows a lot of editors and
she might be able to put in a word
for me! You know just sort Of
well, ask them to give me q
chance!"
"She should like 1t, Dan. It's a
hne story!"
Phillips grinned. "oh, you're
prejudiced." hs said. "but II Brenda
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1932-07-16

tor and out side entrance. Garry
ing that heavy crate on the hottest
] day of the year. I'm telling you, you'd
better be funny, my lads.
And what with the heat and all, all
the taxis were busy. Then one of
those nice little New York sidewalk
mobs began to gather. And someone
on the sidelines spouted, mo, no
body tainted. It's just Frank Buck,
bringing 'em back alive"
| gave one those Beatrice Lille
shoulder flips and took a taxi.
Well, there he is right now-Ignatz,
staring at me with those plaintive
rhesus monkey eyes! He's right there
in the front parlor showing straw all
nearest pet shop. No, they wouldn't
over the floor and shaking the wire.
The missus just came back from the
take him, but they would sell load
of monkey food. And the wife's just
reached that "let's keep him for a
while and see what happens" stage.
Just maternal, that's all.
Every now and then she gives me
one of those, Where did you really
SSG 1l1IIl 1OOkS.
X 4 X
HA, HA! (Hollowly!)
Every five minutes the phone rings
and some fellow scribbler asks me if
I want monkey. Ha, ha! And me
reading the directions which says Ig-
natz has to have bird seed at 2:3O
and scrambled oats at $40 and glass
of water between meals. No week.
ends off; no vacation. Just stay home
and attend to Ignatz.
Monkeys are delicate, says the
booklet. Well, so am I. And if Ig-
natz isn't out of my house by II
o'clock this night, walk into the
broadcast room and drop him down
Rudy Vallee's pet saxophone.
And try to get a laugh out of the
customers after that!
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1932-07-16

treatment he was unable to find any
evidence of hernia and he had to pass
me. I am certainly grateful for your
advice and for DR.. -'s treat
ment.-(F. H. j.
Answer-The civil service examiner
reminds us of the pumpkin who didn't
believe in CRATES. Our profession
harbors good many such skeptics.
BY the way, have received many
letters from others who are delighted
with the cure of hernia by the doctor
who cured yours.
Life Guard Tells Us
I'd certainly like to know where DR..
Celia Duel Mosher received her de-
gree in medicine. I happened to see
your column regarding women going
swimming during the menstruation
period. AS life guard in one sum-
mer have carried over 10 such cases
from the water, suffering from severe
cramps and pain.-(W. r. A.
Answer-Johns Hopkins. But when
you firemen or life guards get a no.
ton, what difference does it make
where the dumb doctors received their
education? Every girl or young wo-
man should read and follow the sane
advice given in DR.. Mosher's per
sonal Hygiene for Women" published
by Stanford University Press, STAN
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1932-07-16
In
NEW
YORK
!!'g| Gilbert van
MONKEY BUSINESS

MONKEY BUSINESS
New York, July les o S to Olson
and Johnson, CO National Broadcast
ing System :. Come at once and get
Ignatz. He's driving me nertz!
Fun Is fun and all that, but when
you scatter Is live monkeys around
this town, without due warning, you're
going too far. 1t might have sounded
like a good gag to give away a young
jungle just to get us to remember
your monkey business" act. But did
you ever try to get rid of monkey in
New York?
Well, your act had better be just
twice as funny as that, big boys.
X X X
1t wasn't enough that the gang in
the office had been giving me that
"balmy Bessie" look for a long time
as it was. No! When I come back
from lunch there sits Grated Simian
on my desk.
Just an understudy" pipes George
Clark, over one of his "Side Chances
=. Train him for couple of weeks
| and he can turn out column"
| "When're you going to get the or
gan?" asks Dom Sutton.
you're all right, kid, we see the
same thing!"
] Just things like that! And I've go
to live through it. I've got to go or
somehow. It isn't the heat, it's thu
timidity.
And I haven't got any Rudy Vallet
to fall back on, either. Ignatz car
make just as funny noises as any
crooner, at that.
NO TAKERS
Old Grandpa Gilbert has taken g
lot in his time. But it's too late fol
advice. Any sap could have thought
of saying: "Just take him to a pei
shop" Yeah! Well, I've phoned four
and have visited two in person. Sc
what?
So they say, Another one! can't
you column guys be funny without a
stooge? You're the twentieth. What
are you trying to do; feed all the un-
employed animal acts?"
Things like that, until I called the
ZOO. Well, maybe they might be able
to call for him in couple of weeks.
Whereupon, I says to the boss: Can
I leave Ignatz around the Officer"
isn't one of you enough?" he
comes back with that certain lift of
the eyelids.
X X
SNEAKY-NVITH A MONK!
So sneak down the freight eleva-
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1932-07-16
The Olympic Financial Angle

Depleted finances, it appears, will
keep the United States squad of ath-
letes for the Olympic games below
the strength of former years. Not
more than $40 athletes will wear the
United States colors during the
games; in 1923 more than 400 were
present.
Nevertheless, this figure compares
very favorably with the number which
will represent other nations. Ger
many is sending team of II. Swe-
den and Finland between them are
sending 81. Other nations will have
teams of about the same size.
And one wonders just why this
country should need so large a team.
The foreigners, it seems to us, are un-
der great handicap from the very
start when they are outnumbered so
remarkably. Would it not be a little
better craftsmanship for the United
States to prune its squad down to
something near the size of its COM
petitors' squads?
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1932-07-16
Foreign Representatives
SMALL. SPENCER, BREWER
Uncorporated)
CHICAGO NEW YORK BOSTON
The Norbeck Bill Loses

The East, which long has basked
in the sunshine Of tariff and other
governmental favors, termed the Nor
beck bill to increase farm products q
radical experiment. Word came from
the white house that it would be We
tOed and so the senate called 1t back
from the house and "reconsidered" it.
This Is just another way of saying
that it was done to death, quietly and
effectively.
The amazing thing about the whole
business is that the East should be
the final arbiter as to whether or not
a proposal is radical" What may
appear like wild departure to one
man may seem a logical step to an
other. 1t is in such situations that
the so-called powers that be do their
best work. They issue a dicta and
that ends the argument.
The Norbeck bill may or may not
have been radical. To the hard
pressed farmer and those in sympathy
with him it did not seem so. It ap-
peared only as an effort to revive the
tagging finances of agriculture with
a measure somewhat similar in pur-
pose to the tariff bill of 1880, which
Senator Watson predicted would re-
vive everything in 60 days.
It may be that Norbeck would have
been as bad prophet for agriculture
as Watson was for industry, but a
good many persons would have liked
the opportunity to find out.
Meanwhile, they are just bit re-
sentful of the fact that, every time
they hear of something which sounds
feasible to them, 1t is labeled as radi-
cal and thrust into the discard.
They are rapidly getting to the
point where they will distrust either
the voice from the high places or
themselves.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1932-07-16
LEAP YEAR BRIDE BB!!ggssa!&s..

about the luckiest guy on earth
And don't think I don't realize 1t!
That grabbing doesn't mean any
thing. Come on-I'll help with the
dishes!"
He was unusually ch ee rfu
throughout the rest of the evening
After they had finished the kitchen
work they rode down town to see 8
motion picture. Dan talked more
than usual. 1t was only occasional
ly that he seemed to forget ant
lapsed into silence. Then Cherry
saw the brooding look return tt
his face.
She could not persuade herself
that whatever was troubling hin
had vanished so easily.
| II Dan was worried he gave nc
indication of it during the next few
days. He was punctual at meals
talked of his work and seemed In
terested in Cherry's recital of each
days events.
There were more letters from
Cherry's mother. Mrs. Dixon re
ported she had gained four pounds
She and her husband were consid
ering a drive into Maine with some
friends for short stay. The let
tiers consisted chiefly of trivial bits
OF news. There had been a touch OF
hot weather but now it was gone
Mrs. Dixon hoped Cherry and Dan
were both we'll.
There was a card from Dixie
Shannon. bearing a Canadian post
mark. Dixie wrote that she was
having a glorious vacation and
would be sorry to return home.
August proved to be as agreeable
as July had been hot and unpleas
ant. Cherry. reading in newspaper
society columns that Gretchen AL
den and her mother were extending
their stay at Lake Louise. that
other acquaintances were summer
Ing at Newport. attending the race
meet at Saratoga or visiting distant
resorts. was not in the least en-
vious.
Her life settled into an agreeable
calm. Dan. to his amazement. re-
ceived the long expected raise In
salary. 1t meant SIS a week added
to the scanty household budget
They celebrated with q dinner al
the Wellington that took the entire
first weeks SIS.
Then on Thursday evening Oar
arrived home excitedly. Cherry
he cried as he pushed the door
open, "you can't guess what's hap
pened!"
She hurried from the kitchen
mo, Of course I can't" she said
what is it,"
"Say-wait till you hear! Boy
did I run into luck today! It's The
chance I've been looking for"
For heavens sake. Dan Phillips
stand still minute and tell me
what you're talking about"
He caught her by the shoulders
and held her away from him
What would you say" he began
III told you that one of the best
magazine writer's in the country has
promised to read those short stories
your boy friend wrote, has prom
Used to criticize them and help him
find a MARKET"
| "oh. Dan-really? Why. that's
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1932-07-16
@ip52 MhIA MN1 nc

Vail thinks l can write. believe me.
I'll show them!"
Dinner was over hastily. Dan
spent an hour dressing with scrupu.
l0us attention to detail.
Cherry leased him as he stood
before the mirror. trying to make
his hair lay the way he wanted 1t.
Anyone would think you were
calling on your first sweetheart"
she told him.
Say, guess you know what this
means to mel"
"Of course I do, DAN" She
touched his arm gently. 1T means
a lot to me, too. But I'm so sure
of you. Dan. l don't need a Miss
Vail to tell me you're going to be
great author!"
He laughed at her. kissed her
hastily and was gone.
BRENDA VAIL adjusted tho
shoulder of her black lace
frock.
The effect must have been satisfy.
ing. She was a tall. rather slender
woman. The black of the dress
contrasted strikingly with the mass
OF auburn hair that waved about
her face and was fastened in a knot
low on her neck. There was too
much of that hair for the sleek.
fashionable outline but it was un.
doubleday distinctive. Brenda Vail
was not beautiful. There was about
her. however, a manner that in.
variably brought her attention.
Perhaps It was the craving Brenda
Vail herself had for attention.
There came ring from the tele-
phone in the next room. Miss Vail
hurried forward.
"Yes?" she said crisply. Imme.
dtately her voice changed. "Oh.
It's you'll" The words came softly.
Yes. of course. I've been waiting
for you. Won't you come up?"
The room had been furnished as
a living room. Hastily Brenda Vail
pulled q small chair nearer the
chaise Tongue that stood near the
window. She adjusted the pillows.
stepped back and eyed them criti.
cally.
A moment later she was opening
the door.
Good evening. Mr.. Phillips" aha
smiled. TITS so good of You Ia
come. I've been wondering what I
was to do with myself this who,a
in?" wv ons
Dan entered. He seemed a tr,n.
embarrassed. II hope you don't
mind" he said. II took you at your
word and brought that story for
You to read"
But I'm delighted! Here-won't
you take this chair? You'll AND
cigarets in the box. That's right,
Make yourself comfortable"
She sank to the chaise Tongue.
iaid the manuscript casually on a
table behind her.
Miss Vail raised a cigaret in a
long ebony holder to her lips and
expelled a curling wrath Of smoke.
The gray-green eyes narrowed.
Later" she said. "I'll read your
story. Just now I'm interested in
you. You know, Mr.. Phillips, I
think that ! like you very much"
Ito Be Continued)
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1932-07-16
Half-HOnest PeOnle

Wnen the Right Rev. Irving p.
johnson, Episcopal bishop of Colorado,
told the graduating class at Union
college the other day that the bane
Of American life is the nations vast
number Of "half-truthful, half-hon-
est" people, he touched on flaw that
usually gets overlooked.
These people, he explained, are those
that make our political platforms,
regulate the stock market and mud
die our whole educational system with
the half truth that education will
make e nation righteous"
As individuals, he said, not one OF
them would pick another mans poe
ket; as members Of political group
or a social or economic class they
would blithely deprive a nation OF its
heritage.
What the bishop seems to have
been getting at is the fact that we
do not live in such a clear-cut, black
and-white world as we like to sup
pose. We may be betrayed, over and
over. by political or business leaders.
but the men who betray us aren't
conscious villains. Instead they be-
long to that half-truthful, half-hon-
est group which has lost the capacity
to assay its own actions correctly.
The politician who accepts the sup
port Of . corrupt gang and thereby
helps to perpetuate 1t; the financier
who fans the flames Of speculation
and paves the way for . panic; the
industrtalist who owns . coal mine
whore man a1s - truly snslaved -
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1932-07-16
81 TO-DAY s.
: WORLD WAR \.
ANNIVERSARY
$E@1ofH&E
GERMAN DRIVE CONTINUES

GERMAN DRIVE CONTINUES
On July 16, 1918, the German drive
continued on a 60-mile front from
Chateau Thierry to Rheims, and Ger
man official bullets reported con.
siderable progress.
The French were pushed back
across the Marine and driven towarc
Epernay in a day of terrific fighting
At Prunay, near Rheims, the French
We're also forced to give ground, and
the end of the days fighting found
the Germans in possession of the vii
lage.
American troops were being rushed
to the front in large numbers to re-
place the tired French veterans.
The long-range gun resumed its
bombardment of Paris.
In the Balkans, French troops
stormed three villages on the eastern
bank of the Devoli river.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1932-07-16
QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS
Civil Service Passed

January 10 I took civil service eX-
animation and was sailing along
smoothly till the doctor discovered a
rupture, which prevented further pro-
gress. AS you suggested I had DR..
give me the ambulant treat
ment, and late in April was again
examined, and although the civil
service doctor ridiculed the method of