Evening star., 1932-12-13

Templeton Jones had been trying to
get up his nerve to do it for 10 years,
but it wasn't until the snow the other
morning that he won out.
The fact that he had left his UNI
brella down at the Office gave him the
opportunity of lifetime.
He made up his mind to take his
wife's!
For years he had been casting sleeps
Ieyes at those short little affairs, With
their chubby straight handles, their ca
pable but small covers, and their loop
20 hang over the wrist.
Sensible" said Jones, to himself.
why don't they make mems umbrel-
lbs that way?"
He looked down, at that time, he re-
called, at the unwieldly creation in his
hand.
1t had a top like a circus tent, 3
handle like shepherds crook, and fas
long enough to use as n staff - an
emergency.
Presumably it might have served as
weapon of offense, in cases of helli-
kerency on the part of large dogs.
Jones had found, however, that the
host diScret policy, in all such cases,
tas to speak sternly to the animals,
fdering them to "go home
The word home" has sonorous
plnd, like unto that of Rome the
Il favorite with amateur orators.
Templeton Jones long ago discovered
ut the former was magic word, in
eed, with the canine population, espe-
hlly when hurled with rounded lies
I'D throaty intonation.
fGo home. sir!" was enough to make
ay but very stubborn dog turn tail
I'D beat 1t for the proper yard. Those
Nich seemed not to understand good
Aglish, properly spoken, were i'll
timed fellows who perhaps would
i've responded better to more drastic
laguage.
bur hero had read somewhere that
M Terhune, who has managed to in
v9le more people to believe he knows
mfe about dogs than any other man
lnthe world ever succeeded in doing,
ha declared in a recent article that
TN best way to act when one comes
baking at you was to stand still with
on's hand held daintily over the
chSt
he pose struck Jones as somewhat
riGulous. He therefore contented
hiself with believing Go home!" and
In xtreme cases, Go home, sir!" while
at he same time keeping his hands,
esptially if holding an umbrella
steafastly at his sides.
H didn't want the poor brute to
thin that he was going to slay him on
the Instant, as well 1t might have i'm
agim as it gazed at the standard
massline umbrella which he carried
Itvas a web made article, no doubt
of TIT. o.
Th crooked handle was heavy
enout to kill bull, to say nothing
of plldog.
Thespread Of the top was astound-
Ing, y no matter how great it seemed,
somebw IL never had enough capac-
lty tokeep more t.lan one person dry
at a me.
Whr spread out it poked every
body e the sidewalk in the eye, but II
two prons tried to seek shelter under
II, the one carrying the thing always
got soEing wet.
traits STANDARD bumberShcots, Tenn
pleton Jones unused. The fellow usual
ly hlm who carried it ALWAYS got
soused. Somehow the slightest mist
seeped under the brim Perhaps he
was toolclite, made too great an effort
to proho his comrade, whether male
or te'nal
Espe"aly while escortlng a woman
he founl nat as far as projecting him
self II ona downpour Re might as well
nave relquisheu the bit of cloth and
wood am wire to the lady And he
rather sloected that his elaborate ef-
forts to hid the umbrella menac:ngly
| over her Iew hat simply resulted in a
great de,l of rain slo5ning down on
her, too.
Any wsyone looked at 1t, two under