The Washington times., 1932-01-11

had led before he was snareC
Rehearses Old Days
,Nct only does he tell h.r
these things, but he talks about
It TO others. Whenever he ar.
rivss at q Broadway party and
the drinks are handed arotlr1d,
he commences his spiel. 70
hear him tell it, his eye-opeper
IN the days, gone by was 9 gal;
lon of uncut rye. This guy is
d lulu.
"But when it comes to his
turn to take a drink, he shakes
his, head and mods in the direc-
tion of his wife.
".'Sorry. boy he smiles, but
I have the little wife to take
care of now. Can't afford the
first one-because' I'm a man
that viii drink two quarts be-
fore ,Tm' satisfied. Now in the
days gone by
THE other night, during, one
Of these parties the auto sales
NAH finally met his giggle
waterloo. An actor who 4, is
usually so drunk that they
haYe. to float him onto the
stage. arose to his feet. ,.
".'Eisten,' ne said; addressing
the salesman, I've been hear
ing. about your drinking powers
for a long, long time, I'm going
to call you right here and now.
Well have a lii drinking con-
test. you and 1. I'll take two
drinks to your one and we'll
see who lasts the longest
Accepts Challenge
'"The challenge was too much
for the salesman's vanity. Here
was HIS big chance to make
good in front of his wife. It
wohld probably be a .cinch' to
drink this stew under a table.
So he laughed heartily.
"t'I'll take you," he responded
with a wide grin, but not on a
two.for-one, basis. Drink. for
dripk-and the, man who stands
up wins, the contest. Let's go.
With a confident wink at
his adoring. wife, he .strolled to
the table and opened a bottle
of rye. Then, taking two large
tumblers, he filled them tp
the brim with Straight rye.
Raising, his he. guiped once or
twice and drained his glass. IT
was a. remarkable piece Of
drinking.
Finishes Liquor
:.The actor was much wiser.
He. .finished. his too-but- IN
much smaller doses. When, he,
was through be noticed That
the beads were already stand
ing out on the sa1es1nan's fore
head. This time it was he who
filled the, glasses to the ,brim
once again, Two such drinks
would be enough to ruin any
man. You know how it is,
Mark?
Meanwhile, the salesman was
1nlinching celery. There were
other things to eat, but the
SALESMAN did not touch them.
He Wanted nothing but celery.
After gobbling down three or
four pieces, he picked up his
glass, nodded wisely to his wife
and drank his second tu1nbler
d Straight rye.
within 10 minutes the sales;
man was in another room. He
was out cold. When they fl
nally revived him. he became
sick. He, u1oaned and he
groaned and he. ,Whatnot4 He
was psying, as the saying goes.
the wages of sin.
Rebukes His Host
:'Finaffy,' after an hour had
passed, he was sufficiently re-
viFeQ to stand on his feet.
Weakly. and supported by his
wire he staggered back into
the. room in which the party
was still in progress.
He paid no Attention to the
actor but walked, directly over
to hts host. His face was white
-=but in his eyes there was a
black look.
Gas long as I live,' were
the Salesman's words to his
hdst. I'll never eat, any thing iii
YOUR home again. Your damned
celeEy made me sick as a
ddg!'"
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