The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1932-10-06

One of the faithful readers of this
column who reads it every week and
admits it, said the people of his sec
ton were getting tired of the same
picture appearing every week at the
head of this column.
"You oughta change your face" he
remarked, and before l knew he was
talking about the above picture, and
not me personally, 1 exclaimed, eff 1
only could"
Last year about this time a num-
Der of apples began to grace the desk
before me, all on account of an
urgent request sent out for a revival
of that once famous custom of send
ing the editor almost as much stuff
as preacher, just little good will,
if you please, although later the same
editor would be asked to print an ain
Memoriam," free of charge.
This year you can make it cider,
apple butter, potatoes, or really most
anything. The time is most oppor-
tune, ripe, mature, seasonable, con-
vention, timely, propitious, and ap-
propriate, if you ask me, which you
probably won't, as it won't be long
until housekeeping time.
| $50
And now, they say, it's sign of
no more signs somewhere along Oak
street.
With the band leading US, we will
all Tor most all) joyfully sing to-
gether "The tune that the old cow
suit died on" 49,
And here's hoping that a fate
similar to the following happening
will take place in the Roosevelt
household, if for no other reason than
placing the blame for everything on
Hoover and the Republican party.
Here's what happened once to a
candidate out in Arkansas:
"Lost four months and twenty
days canvassing; lost 1850 hours of
sleep thinking about election; lost
forty acres of corn and sweet pota-
toes; lost two front teeth and a lot
of hair in personal combat with an
opponent; donated one beef, four
sheep and five pigs to barbecue; gave
away five calico dresses, five dolls
and thirteen baby rattlers; kissed 1876
babies; kindled 26 kitchen fires, put
up eight stoves; cut 174 cords of fire.
wood; carried twenty-four buckets
of water; gathered seven wagon loads
of corn; pulled ATS bundles of fodder;
walked 4,049 miles; shook hands g.
$50 times; told 1O,O01 lies and talked
enough to make 1000 volumes; at
tended twenty-six revival meetings
and was baptized four times by i'm
mersion and twice by sprinkling;
contributed $50 to foreign missions;
got dog bit nineteen times, and then
lost the darned election"
Well, the fly season is about over,
and it's a good thing. The old wire
smasher on the desk here will be
sent to the home for the weak, worn
out and aged.
Of course the traffic light may not
be bashful, but every time I approach
it it seems to turn red.
$50
l don't know why l should have to
wait until a rainy day to try to get
up this column. There's nothing in
spring in the rush of water down
ones neck, the stopping of wet feet,
the cold raincoat, and baggy trouser
legs. If we had a shortage of drink
ing water, or if the crops needed the
rain, we might wax sentimental but
today, to me, it is just so much water
over the dam. But the Boss editor
has threatened to hold up my salary
if this is not Forthcoming, so what is
poor struggling columnist to do,
especially when old furniture needs a
rundown, and we need more furni-
ture?
The Boss has ordered the names of
Gibby Matheney and Betty Broad
water, students at Hood, mentioned
this week. Of course, being away at
school, they ought to feel homesick
enough to feel grateful for this bit
of publicity.
For once in my life l have no alibis
for West Virginia's defeat by Pitt
last Saturday. But am 1 mortified
about my alma mater?
This absolute silence in thought
this week is not due to any censor
ship, either at home or abroad. I've
always put in what wanted. Can
it be possible my wants are decreas-
ing?