Evening star., 1932-06-06
THIS AND THAT
BY CHARLES E. TRACEWELL.

words in the face Of such lavish at
tention?
How on earth could he have been
so harsh as to have imagined that
these gracious creatures, SO anxious to
do his every bidding, could ever have
glanced at him without so much as q
quiver of the eyelashes?
Surely he must have been mistaken I;
and he feels heartily ashamed of him
self. He goes out Of the store swear
ing that 1t Is the finest store in the
| world, its management the best, and
its clerks perfect angels.
Then he steps into his favorite bank.
Now banks, favorite or otherwise,
have a reputation. it seems. for a slight
"snootiness," which. translated, means
simply holding ones nose aloft.
1t Is perhaps impossible for receiving
tellers and the like to remember per-
fectly the name and face Of every last
one Of the institutions patrons.
And 1t Is conceivable that bank en-
ployes, Just as other human beings,
are subjected to the ordinary small ills
OF mankind and that upon occasion
they indulge in what is graphically
called getting out on the wrong side
Of the bed in the morning"
No one ever heard OF anybody get
ting out on the wrong side of the bed
in the afternoon or at night, but al
most every human being has done 1t in
the morning.
Well, this particular day the young
fellow behind the counter fails to make
much of a fuss over one. He takes
the deposit with a most stolid air, an
air which says plainly enough, Il guess
you think this is q lot Of money, but
really it IS nothing but a trif1e. You
should have seen what took in a few
minutes ago"
One leaves ones favorite bank feeling
very doWncaSt.
Not a soul therein had recognized
ones face, name, or vast service to the
institution. in selecting 1t from all the
other banking places In the city as the
place to do business.
Guess they don't give . whoop
whether one comes in or not. That's
funny, after one has been banking
there for years and years. Ought to
smile. at least. Ought to make show
Of gratitude, even If they haven't any.
Especially in these times. All this yoWl
about boarding money, and here one
puts some In, for no other purpose
than to spend it, and not soul In the
institution says hello Or
Right there the great speech begins.
strikes forth sparks.
Sentences gleam with light.
One will know exactly what cutting
| things to say next time, If there Is a
| next time.
Yes, there shall be next time, all
right.
There certainly shall be another visit,
II for no other reason than to watch
them wilt before certain witticisms,
| shrink before righteous indignation
dry up and blow away IL the face of
whitening. sarcasm.
1t is a great address, no doubt Of It,
and one perfects it. at stray times, all
during the day. The next morning a
few more touches are given it.
Now it Is perfect.
One drops into the bank loaded for
| two bears. or three bears, or all the
bears In the world.
Good morning. sir!" greets the
doorman with most beatiflc grin.
"Mornin', sah!' says the elevator
boy.
why, good morning" waves the
President, from behind his sacred pal
ings.
One flushes with pride, wondering
how the deuce the President Himself
managed to know one.
The Chairman of the Board, Just
leaving for his lunch. speaks most
cordially.
Two or three Vice Presidents, per-
feet bears. today beam in unison, and
hurry up to find out in what ways they
can be OF Service.
The receiving teller receives one by
name; the man at the savings depart
ment window violates all he rules Of
banking decorum by calm, to one from
his window.
Gods in His heaven, alIs right with
the world!' Old Browning knew a
thing or two, after all.