davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1932-06-13
HONEST FOLKS SWEAT BUT NO.
BODY EVER PERSPIRES

Why don't you. write a book and
title it mo Such Thing? CORE
spondent inquiries. Such book by
you would make entertaining reading.
And honestly I don't know whether
the correspondent is serious or just
sarcastic.
1t does seem as tho I am forever
asserting there is no such thing as
cold, rheumatism, nervous breakdown,
indigestion, etc, etc, but if so, be-
lieve it is necessary, for we must re-
member that the most prevalent all
ment in this country is Billings COM
plaint-people knowing so many
things about health and pathology
which amt so.
The correspondent was prompted to
make the suggestion when he read an
article in which I said that no one
ever perspires. OF course, meant
that no one breathes thru the skin.
Sometimes charlatan finds it con-
venient or necessary to have his dupes
imagine the skin breathes, as this
lends color to his explanation of ill
ness or the way his method of treat
ment "purifies the system" or some
such hocus-pocus. But Psychologists
have never discovered any evidence
that the skin can absorb air or any
thing else, unless it is punctured or
broken.
A lady whose credulity is amazing,
in view of her evident general intelli-
gence, cited number of proofs that
the skin absorbs things, among them
notorious nostrum which she in
formed me has been used for many
years as salve applied on the surface
for the cure of whatever the victim
might happen to have. The lady
might as logically say that a horse
chestnut in the pocket has been used
for many years as a cure for rheu-
matiSm.
If I should write a book entitled
mo Such Thing" I should include in
it chapter enumerating things which
do not account for illness, and among
these things I shall include over
ness, indigestion, biliousneSs, night air,
dampness drafts, change of weather,
climate, season. your age, tomatoes,
acid fruits, wrong combinations of
foods whatever they may be-, teeth
ing, open winter, hard water, red or
dark meat, ptomains, verdigris, rust,
green apples, cucumbers, proximity to
putrefying animal or vegetable mat
ter, administration, vague "impuri-
ties retained in the system" and high
blood pressure.
There are still extant a few physi-
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1932-06-13

line; and presently, as the smoke
cloud lifted, the Germans saw before
them the high tripod masts of the %
battleships Of the British grand fleet.
Another panorama!
Then, late at night, the third; the
Germans running home, darkness on
the water, the only lights the winking
flashes from the guns, extending all
along the horizon, as two of the
greatest fleets ever built struck at
one :rcthe. in the dark.
Three great spectacles-and Won
Hyper played leading role in all
of them!
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1932-06-13

with the name Barry Vail" and
some time passed before the mystery
of its authorship was solved.
When in the creative tnroes' nc
rises at 4:30 in the morning, pays MS
respects to the sun, wakes up Win
cup of black coffee-self made-aho
begins his muse wooing.
y Y X
PILGRIMAGE
Once a year, Odessa, Mo-, city OF
1000 souls, goes down en- masse to the
home town depot to see its pin-sized
mayor, Joseph Lightnef, Off Tor new
York. "And I pay my own tare, ne
hurriedly adds, with a glance at the
New York news headlines. He's been
mayor for nearly twenty years.
This pilgrimage Is q hangover
from q youth spent In the show busl-
ness. After going out with a tent
show, Mayor Lightner organized his
own troupe and set forth. He trouped
with and was q close personal triend
Of Houdini and Thurston, the ma
gicianS.
-
Immediately upon arriving, he be-
gins prowling about the show-shops
and the side-show agencies. He car
ries his own movie outfit, Including
portable lamps for night work. He
Shoots" all sorts Of people and scenes,
and regales the home town folks
months after with private show.
And he's secretary of that rare or
ganization, "the Amalgamated Order
of Defunct City Fathers" started by
Will Rogers after his politician career
as mayor Of Beverley Hills, Cal.
X X X
And the gag that is being re-
peated through the Broadway belt Is
that Paul Whiteman having reduced,
no longer hides the bands that feed
him.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1932-06-13
clans who perpetrate diagnosis O

clans who perpetrate a diagnosis of
'ptomain poisoning" from time to
time, which serves as we'll as heavy
cold'' does to soothe the anxiety Of the
public until the real nature of the ILL
ness becomes evident.
I did not include acidosis in the list
because acidosis can happen in the
course of certain illnesses, tho only
as a consequence of diseases and
never as the cause of it.
PROFESSIONALLY a large number of
people who complacently feel they
know something about these health or
medical matters would debate one or
another of these questions with me or
any other doctor or expert who might
agree with me. Proverbially it is only
the ignorant who despise education.
This applies with special force to
popular ignorance of physiology and
hygiene. It is chiefly because of uni
versal popular ignorance of human
anatomy and physiology that belief in
absorption thru the skin is so COM
mon.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1932-06-13
Mr.. Rockefeller for Repeal
New York Tines

Mr.. John D. Rockefeller Jr.'s letter
to President Butler approving his res
olution for submitting to conventions
OF the people in the several States a
proposal for the repeal of the
Eighteenth Amendment has a deep
significance and is likely to have a
powerful influence. Mr.. Rockefeller
good life and works, his sincerity, his
modesty, his devotion to and constant
aid OF all good causes have placed him
beyond suspicion and above envy. Pro-
| hibition long appeared to him a good
cause. He hoped that it would adj
vance temperance and be sustained
by public opinion. Both he and his
father were contributors to the Anti
Saloon League before the passage of
the amendment, though in reasonable
amounts, far from the fantastic math-
ematics of legend.
His hopes were disappointed, as
those of millions of others have been.
He has watched the workings of pro-
hlbition for twelve years. The aboli-
ton of the saloon was good; but in
place of that evil worse evils have
arisen, evils which unless promptly
checked are likely to lead to condi-
tons unspeakably worse than those
which prevailed before"
Drinking generally has increased;
the speakeasy has replaced the saloon.
not only unit for unit, but probably
twofold, if not three-fold; vast army
of lawbreakers has been recruited and
financed on colossal scale; many of
our best citizens. piqued at what they
regarded as an infringement of their
private rights, have openly and un-
abashed disregarded the Eighteenth
Amendment; as an inevitable result
respect for all law has been greatly
lessened: crime has increased to an
unprecedented degree.
So Mr.. Rockefeller has slowly and
reluctantly come to believe" He has
yielded his original convictions to the
evidence. The experiment which he
wished so well has failed. He has no
pride Of opinion. This simple, honest
manly letter mirrors his intellectual
and moral integrity. Here is a witness
for repeal who cannot be discredited.
He Is hereditary and a lifelong tee
totaler. He is q great philanthropic
and religious leader. His turning away
from prohibition to temperance is
likely to have q far-reaching effect
upon the churches that have been in
the main props Of the now lettering
edifice Of prohibition.
Mr.. Rockefeller hopes that "the mil
lions Of earnest, consecrated people"
who worked to put the Eighteenth
Amendment Into the Constitution viii
now support practical measures for
the promotion Of genuine temper
ance." His letter was properly adj
dressed to DR.. Butler, that elder sol
dier who stood up so long and valiant
ly for genuine temperance while the
politicians of both parties were lick
ing the boots of the Anti-Saloon
League: but it makes mighty inter-
estin' readin'" for President Hoover.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1932-06-13

the sewing room and If anyone in.
quired for Cherry to say the girl
was asleep in her bedroom.
The plan proved fawless. Within
five minutes Cherry had reached
the highway and was out of sight
OF the house. She walked the three
blocks to the tiny drug store that
exclusive Sherwood Heights not
only tolerated but found invaluable.
There she made two telephone
calls. One was to Dan Phillips at
the News Office. The other was to
a taxicab company.
Half an hour later the cab halted
at downtown street intersection.
Cherry's face appeared. peering
through the glass, and a tall young
man clad in gray suit strobe out
from the curb. He entered the cab.
"Oh. Dan. I was so afraid I'd
miss you!" The girls face was
glowing. her eyes star-bright.
Phillips did not smile. "Well,"
he said evenly, this is quite a sur.
prise. I couldn't understand over
the phone exactly what it was you
were saying. Wasn't sure whether
you said Fifth or Sixth street"
Aren't you glad to see met" The
words burst from Cherry's lips un.
hidden. Didn't you want me to
Gomez"
why. yes. OF course. Only It's
quite a surprise because under.
stood you'd gone east. New York
or some place."
But that's why I came, Dan!
They didn't tell me you'd called. I
waited and waited expecting to
hear from you and there weren't
any letters and you didn't tsle-
phone! It was Just this afternoon
! found out they hadn't been. giving
me your messages. Sarah-she's
the maid-found out they'd told
you Id gone away. Oh. It was
wicked of them! And / was 30
afraid you'd think didn't want to
talk to you! You didn't think that.
did you. Dan? You Couldn't"
why. I've called . dozen times!
Every day"
"They didn't tell met"
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1932-06-13
(Official City, State and County
Newspaper
Foreign Representatives
SMALL, SPENCER, BREWER
Uncorporated)
CHICAGO NEW YORK BOSTON
War Songs

Practically every English-speaking
soldier in the World War knew about
Mademoiselle from Armentieres.
: Knew about her, that is to say, in
song. For the most famous of all
var songs, beyond doubt, was that
highly improper ballad which had
he catch-line, "Hinky-dinky parlez-
vous," which told of the adventures
If this tabled damsel from Armen-
5ieres.
Mademoiselle herself remained
5hrouded in mystery, until just the
other day; and then an American
composer, who is in France making
study of World War songs, announced
that he had found out some things
about the lady and had learned how
the song came into being.
There was a cafe at Armentieres,
it seems, and mademoiselle worked
there. She was very proper young
lady, and one day a general, attempt
ing familiarities with her, got his
face roundly slapped; and at a regi-
mental sing few nights later some
inspired songster introduced ditty
dealing with the incident.
And that, it seems, was the start Of
it; and the anecdote leads one to
muse about soldiers songs, and to
wonder how they originate, and what
it takes to set fighting men chanting
the same chorus.
The World War soldiers sang this
ditty about the girl from Armentieres.
But what did other soldiers in other
wars sing? They sang songs from
music halls, of course-but they had
their own special songs, too. and
those songs never got in the anthol-
ogies, and they have been forgotten.
The Roman legionnaires, it is said,
had a ribald song about girl named
Lalage, who doubtless was prototype
OF this Armentieres charmer; and it
would be worth a good deal to know
how the song went, and what its tune
was.
Men who march off to fight must
sing. They will sing everything and
anything, except the pompous patri-
otto pieces which the stay-at-homes
like; and usually they evolve their
own pet songs, and, singing them,
march off to die-at Ypres, or Chick
amauga, or Waterloo, or Saratoga, or
wherever it may be; and all we get is
tantalizing reminder that some
where back of each song there was
some flesh-and-blood figure like this
mysterious girl from Armentieres.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1932-06-13
Won Hipper'S Part

The news that Admiral Franz Vor
Hipper died in Germany the othe,
day failed to get more than a para
graph or two in most American news
papers. And that, in a way, was
rather odd; for Admiral Won Hipper
was a leading actor in some of the
few really spectacular, panoramic
scenes that the World War afforded
+ The World War wasn't long on
pictorial effects. Its battles were
too big, its operations too extended;
one man could seldom see more than
a detail Of the whole; such tremend-
Gus fights as the Somme or Verdun
We're too vast for any panorama.
But there were a few great spec
tacles, and this Won Hyper had his
part in one of the greatest-the bat
tie of Jutland.
This took place on May 81, 1916.
The German high seas fleet had VEN
tured out into the North Sea, and
Hyper. commanding the cruiser
squadron, was some so miles in adj
vance. Coming down from the north
west was the British grand fleet, pre-
coded by tho battle cruiser squadron
under Admiral Beatty. It was Beatty
and Won Hyper who collided first.
The battle that followed furnished,
really, three pictures"
The first came when Won Hyper,
turning south. tried to lure Beatty
back into the jaws of the high seas
fleet. A running fight ensued-and
then, his fragile battle cruisers racing
like mad, the English commander
suddenly saw smoke on the horizon
far to the south, and made out, pres
emily, the ~ dreadnaughts of the
German fleet steaming straight to-
ward him. Here. surely, was one of
the great panoramas of the war.
The second was similar. Beatty
now fled north. with tlie entire Ger
man fleet In pursuit. There was vi
clent fighting 1t the head Of the
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1932-06-13

blame him." she asked. "Young
fellows don't like to be put of.
They were that way in my day and
I guess there's not much difference.
It's too bad. honey. but We can't
help it,"
Suddenly Cherry had sprung to
her feet.
II will help it," she exclaimed.
They can't do this to me-they
can't" She stamped one of the
small gold heels. They've no right
to tell lies and keep messages from
me. I'm not a child any longer.
I'm 49,"
Sarah's protests were useless.
They fell on deaf ears. Repeatedly
she warned the girl that revolt was
futile. Defiance of Walter ]. Dix.
on's orders was heresy. It was sheer
madness! The words might as well
have been addressed to the wall.
Aroused to action, Cherry was
all at once a whirlwind. She few
about the room, pulling garments
from hangers-a dress over her
head. stocking. slippers. Sarah fol.
lowed patiently. helping with fast.
eners.
But what are you going to do?"
she asked again. Where are you
going?"
Cherry pulled the brown felt over
her head and gave 1t q tug. "Now
listen." she said. I'm going to find
Dan. I'm going to tell him I
haven't gone away and all the other
things they told him were untrue.
Now here's how you're to help
me-"
THE conspiracy was planned
- quickly. Sarah. her white face
an open revelation. made q recon.
noftering expedition to the first
door. She returned to report that
Mrs. Dixon was busy with callers.
Martha was on duty In the front of
the house but Cherry could escape
unnoticed. by descending the rear
staircase and going out through the
door that led to the garden. Sarah's
further part was to busy herself in
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1932-06-13
Safety on the Railroads

Everyone who drives an automo-
bile and many persons who do not
may well take heed OF the amazing
safety record established by Ameri-
can railroads in 1881.
Figures recently available show
that only four passengers lost their
lives in railroad accidents during the
year. This was one to each $50 O93,-
600 passengers. incidentally, the av-
erage distance travelled was 36.72
miles.
On the North Coast Limited, crack
train of one of the railroads serving
this city, not passenger has been
killed in more than 80 years Of oper-
alton.
1t may be unfair to compare auto
mobiles with railroads in point of
safety but there is no denying that
the same factors which contribute to
safety on railroads could also make
nlghWay travel much safer than 1t
is. These rules are easy to follow.
Everyone agrees that every normally
intelligent person should follow them
as matter Of course and this makes
the mounting toll of highway acct
dents a more scathing indictment
every year.
What are these factors?
The answer is, first of all, recogni-
ton of the fact that danger always
is lying in wait for the unwary. Sec
ond, observance of the rules of the
road.
In at least 30 per cent of the cases.
highway fatalities are an indictment
of someone's common sense
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1932-06-13

"Then you mean it wasn't because
you didn't want to see me? You
weren't just stalling?"
mo. Dan, Of course not. How
could you think that! Oh, I've
been SO miserable. SO unhappy"
THE words were lost in a sob.
l. Cherry had turned her face
away.
"You mustn't" Phillips said
gently. "You mustn't feel badly
any longer. Please. Cherry-look
at met"
There was long pause and then
slowly. hesitantly. the girl turned
her head.
"Dan!"
"Y0u darling!"
She was In his arms, the velvet
softness Of her warm cheek pressed
to Dams. He found her lips.
crushed them again and again.
You're so sweet, Cherry" he
whispered, catching her close again.
"Then-you do carer"
But didn't you know? You must
have! Oh. Cherry. these last three
days have been rotten! I've been
worried about you. Kept telephon.
Ing but I couldn't get any satisfac-
tion. After . while I began to
think maybe you didn't want to
talk to me. Couldn't really blame
you-but after the things your
father said"
It was at that moment that tho
taxi driver decided he had endured
enough. For several minutes the
cab had been held up by trafic sis.
mails. Now the red light was glow.
Ing. ~
Say" he said in a tone not to be
ignored. where do you people want
to go?"
Anywhere" Dan told him.
"Drive-er, drive out through JET.
ferson Park"
The cab moved forward. Cherry's
head nestled comfortably against
Dams shoulder. His arm was about
her. Neither realized how time was
passing.
Ito Be Continusd)
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1932-06-13

wrap the pot in 10 or Is sheets of
newspaper and cover with q heavy
towel or small blanket. Let stand on
wooden surface over night. In the
morning the cereal will be well cooked
and still warm. (Mrs. F. F.
Answer-Thank you. Good sense
and good economy.
Copyright John F. Ollie CO..
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1932-06-13
H TODAY 81
j.. 'WQ!RE!LIpC MXRA,
ANNIVERSARY
2x&lofG2E
FRENCH FORCED BACK

On June Is. 1918, German shock di-
visions operating near Noyon in the
Marine salient resumed their hammer
ing at French lines and forced with
drawal south of that city.
German official bulletins again
claimed that the French troops had
been crushed" and claimed more
than 10000 prisoners in the previous
weeks fighting.
French counter-attacks gained
ground in some sections, but the days
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1932-06-13

NEW
THE DIAMONDS
l.! Gil: ar

WITHOUT THE DIAMONDS
New York, June 12.-Ne scarlet.
tinted boudoir frames that gem-drip-
ping, hard-boiled jade, Diamond ILL.,"
Instead, you'll find Mae West, vino
wrote, acted, fought and served time
for her trollopy types, hard at work
In a neat Long Island country place
With LIS spangled gowns tucked
away in theatrical trunks, she affects
plain, dark house dresses. At the mo-
ment she Is penning a vaudeville act
which Harry Richman may use when
he brings two-a-day vaudeville back
i, to Broadway.
1t Will be, one hears, something of
dramatization of herself with the
birth and temperance OF Diamond
Lii as part of the theme.
X X X
When In New York, Miss West hides
away either in Park Avenue apart
ment or hotel suite on the fringe
OF Broadway. She is rarely seen in
the night life crowds. She has placed
her scenes and characters in dozen
dives, yet insists she's never been in
one. On one Of the few occasions I
have seen her mingling with the city
"celebs," it was a literary tea.
\ :: >:
Taking Miss West at her word-she
Is a retiring person; it bothers her to
be pointed out as a celebrity: she has
q large library and is a great reader;
doesn't smoke or drink; has never
found time for marriage; friends and
neighbors have difficulty associating
her with the characters she plays; is
always working on a new play, though
frequently never finishes them; has
faultless score for success; sincerely
believes the public wants sex on the
stage and wants it to be frank; likes
to garden-and does; has been on the
stage since the age of six!
All Of which is far cry from Ola
mond Lii"
NO GARRET FOR HIM
Speaking of writer's and such, the
name Of John Barry Ryan pops into
the prints again in connection with
the law suit of Fifth Avenue jeweler.
America has no richer poet. Heir
to the $29,000,000 of Thomas Fortune
Ryan, the son brought out a book of
verses about year ago. He signed it
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1932-06-13

fighting on the whole was unfavorable
for them.
American marines repelled q des.
perate accack on Bouresches by the
crack German Fifth Guard division,
inflicting heavy losses. It was the
third such attack which had been re-
pulsed In less than a week.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1932-06-13
HOMES OF STEEL

More than so different methods Of
utilizing steel in home building were
descrihsd by Fred T. Llewellyn of the
u. S. Steel Corporation at recers
meeting of the Small-House Forum.
New methods Of wall and floor con-
struction were forecast.