The Waterbury Democrat., 1932-10-07
.YOuR CHILDREN
Ry Olive Roberts Barton

0i5sz eS NEH SGRVscF issSs
 "I had great father" said my friend reminiscently. but he dld not-would not-countenance fear of any sort in his children"
 "If he was able to keep fear out of the family, he was Smarter than most fathers" commented. "What did he dor"
 Nothing, except to shame us to death every time we admitted we were afraid of anything. We boys would have endured any thing rather than his rage or con- tempt. So we learned to pretend we were brave."
 This was interesting and en- couraged him to go on. wanted to hear about the outcome of such a procedure. Was there such a thing as driving out fear by sheer will? Had this man made stoics of his sons by some contagious ap- plication of his own courage?
 We used to keep cider in the cellar" this man went on. Every night 1t was my job to go down with a stone pitcher and fill 1t up out of the barrel. I used to shiver and shake till my teeth rattled be- cause it was as dark as pitch and the bit of candle I carried only made jumping shadows.
 Only Heightened Fear
 "One night I heard a noise. didn't stop to turn off the bung and ran screeching up the cellar steps three at a time. Father was so disgusted he nearly whaled the life out of me.
 After that I always came up smiling and boasting that it wasn't anything to go down in the dark. Said I must have been pretty ner- cous that other ngiht. And he'd lay his heavy hand on my tow head and say, I knew my boy wasn't a coward. There's nothing on earth to be afraid off,"
 "Did it change you?" I asked.
 "Change me? To tell the truth, 1t did. To punish me for being afraid seemed to be the very thing needed to turn me into a confirmed booby. Before I had been fear full, but unconvinced. After that licking 1t was torture to go into the dark anywhere I don't know why. The more I had to keep u secret, the more 1t deviled me.
 "I wasn't only the dark either. always was timid about water. There was one day at the annual church picnic, remember. I was afraid of the new strange creek it was really river, and deep and rocky.
 Another "Cure" "Father pushed me in and when I finally floundered up to the bank blubbering and blue and half drowned, he shook me till I saw stars, then dumped me back in and laughed.
 After that I had to keep that fear. a secret, too. I pretended l was cured that day at Rocky Bend and bragged that could swim the ocean if I had to-"
 l "'Never going to be afraid of water any more, are you, young stern he would say proudly. I guess I knocked that nonsense out of you, too. You'll thank me some day for giving you some spunk'."
 "Do you thank him?" I asked curiously.
 He shook his head. "No. was never allowed to give honest ex- pression to a fear. Instead was tormented because of it. Each fear became an obsession. These obsessions changed character in time. Now I seem to be convinced that every thing on earth Is something to be afraid of. am afraid to get up in the mornings am almost a psychopathic case, believe. can't help it. It was ground in--tortured in, you might say"
 It was the answer had expect ed. We cannot bulldoze or pun ish children out of fears. We have to explain them away.