The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1932-06-07
MANNERS
@NORALS
BN,ANt JORDAN

when you're perpiexed about some;
thing. write 70 Jane Jordan. who viii
clear up vour mind BY answering your
questions IN this column.
A YOUNG woman who doesn't
N want her letter printed, has
written me that she has been init
mate with a young man for several
years. Although he never has said
he loved her, she assumed that he
did, because Of his actions.
From a chance remark, she feared
that ne had lost respect for her
because Of their intimacy and taxed
him with the subject. To her
amazement. he told her that if he
really loved a girl. he never would
approach her for a pre-marital ex-
perience.
He thought she only wanted a
little fun on the side and was
amazed that she had believed him
TO be in love with her, since he
never had said anything about 1t.
Since then he has been just as
sweet as ever and she can not be-
heve that he does not care.
This is a typical case. Hundreds
Of other girls have had the same
experience. II all harks back TO
the difference in the love view
points Of the two sexes. To wom-
an the physical act is symbol OF
love. To a man. it Ia a pleasant
biological process. not necessarily
identified with love at all.
A woman nearly always falls in
love with the man with whom she
has physical relations. Enduring
feelings of tenderness and sympa-
thy arise from the intimacy. A
man may feel exceedingly tender
and sympathetic at the time. but
forgets il easily as soon as his
physical hunger is appeased.
INNS Is ali very confusing to
i trusting woman. who mistakes
the mans pursuit and careSses for
a serious condition. 1t also is con-
fusing TO man. who only was seek
ing TO crafty his immediate in
stincts, with no thought OF perma-
nence. Why should the woman as
sumo that he loves her. when Moth
ing was said about love?
Again and again I have heard
men express their irritation with
women because Of their inability
to separate sex from love. Why
must they be so serious about a
simple physical need?" they cry.
Why can't they take happiness as
it comes, here today and gone to-
morrow? Why can't they appreci-
ate art for arts sake, without this
everlasting seeking for perma-
nence?"
The answer is obvious. From the
very beginning, the physical act
with woman has been connected
with the child which she carries in
her body for almost a year and
nurses at her breast for another.
not to mention its constant care
until it reaches maturity.
During these years the child so
handicaps her activities that she
must rely on the father for sup
port. How can she avoid looking
for permanence from her partner
in an act which is so apt to place
a permanent obligation on her?
NNE of the arguments against
~ birth control is that it tends
to destroy the reason for morality
in woman by removing the fear of
pregnacy and leaving her as free to
experiment as man. II is thought
that she would lose the desire for
permanence begotten by long al
legiance to the child and its needs.
But centuries of habit are not bro
ken down so easily Birth control
will not enable woman to separate
sex from love for some time to come.
if ever, nor will it quench her accus-
toned reaction Of love toward the
man to whom she gives herself.
Neither do men wish all women to
regard sex as insignificant. When
ready to marry. they praise with
marked inconsistency. the very
qualities which irritated them dur
ing single blessedness.
The masculine demand for chas-
THY on the part Of woman came
with the rise of private property.
The male acquired it and wished to
leave it to his children. Therefore
he wanted to know. beyond shadow
Of a doubt, who was Of his own
blood. Fidelity on the part of wom-
an was absolutely necessary. His
own fidelity he did not take so seri-
ously and never has.
Civilized man now has forgotten
what made him insist on woman's
fidelity IN the first place. Years of
habit has turned his demand into an
emotion. Women to him inevitably
are divided into two groups-those
who satisfy his passions and those
who become the mother Of his chill
dren.
INADVERTENTLY, you have fallen
4 into the first group with your
young man. You were taken in be-
cause, even in this enlightened age
women know no more about men
that they did in the dark ages.
Girls are taught nothing about
sexual relations in school. Their
mothers would be Mortified at the
very thought
Yet had YOU known these facts.
you never would have been fooled
into interpreting a mans passion
as lovel
The only thing you can do is to
break your relations with him i'm
mediately. DO not condemn him
because his desires are less com
picated than yours. but close the
episode as pleasantly as possible.
Your life isn't ruined. You are
none the less honorable or lovable
for your natural mistake. Keep