The Coolidge examiner., 1932-09-09
Fable of the I'm
happy Jump From
Rags to Riches
g
Bv GEORGE ADE
&c. Bell syndicate)-w Service.

10 lucky Hobo who went vhis-
Ting along a Country Lane.
He was bearing down on a smiling
Village and was rehearsing a hard
luck and weeping Narrative which
he hoped to exchange for a Hand
Out.
He had nothing to fret about, did
Bill the BO. The Income Tax had
never thrown a Shadow across his
Life. Rent Day held no Terrors for
him. He did not have to hurry so
as to be somewhere at a Certain
Time. All he had to do was loiter
along the Highways and cadge long,
luxurious Rides in upholstered Mo-
tor Cars and fragrant Hay-Mows
and eat Home Cooking at Back
Doors and panhandle Cigarettes
from the Farm Hands, Soft is the
Word.
1t is true that Society and his re-
spectacle Relations considered him
Deyelict, a Wastrel, a Sad Exam
pie and one of the Dregs. Bill did
not care a Hoot. He was for the
Free Life and the Open Road. He
knew that he was Intellectually su-
period to his Kin because he had
so much more time for Reading
than they had. They had to toll all
Day in order to be sheltered at
Night in badly ventilated Rooms.
They were puny and anemic where
as Bill was tanned to a Saddle
Brown and staggering with Health.
Furthermore he was broadening his
outlook and enriching his Culture
by constant Travel. 1t was his Plan
to see America First and take the
Lower Regions later on.
AS he scuffed along a dusty Path
he saw printed Card lying on the
Ground. 1t was quite an Effort to
stoop over and pick it up, but he
took a Chance, hoping that it might
turn out to be a Meal Ticket. In
stead of which it was good for one
Chance on n Flivver which was be-
ing raffled off by the Legion Boys,
in conjunction with big Street Car
nival.
Bill Checked in at the Public
Square just as the Commander was
drawing out the Numbers. When
the PriZe-Winner was announced
and there were loud cries for the
Lucky Holder to come forward. Bill
took another peek at the soiled
Pasteboard in his Mitt and could
hardly believe his Eyes, for it
seemed that at last he had come in
to some Property, and was the
Owner Of a Lizzie
In a few Minutes he was stand
Ing alongside Of the shiny auto. try
ing to figure how many Hamburgers
he could get for it. when a flip in
dividual with a quick fire vocabu-
larry approached him and made a
tempting Proposal. He said that
invariably there was a Tide in the
affairs of Every Man, which, taken
at the Flood, leads to Fortune. Aban-
doned. all the Rest of the Life Sen
tence is bound in Shadows and in
Misery and he viii not have one
Dollar to rub against Another. So
the only Thing for Bill to do was
to trade the Henry for 10000
Shares of the Ballyhoo Oil Com
pany, a local Corporation which
was down 5000 feet and mo-
mentarily expecting great Results.
Car, But No Oil, and Vice Versa.
Inasmuch as Bill could not move
the Car without first buying some
Gas and Oil, he said it was a Trade,
provided the handsome Stranger
would throw in a Buck in real
Money. SO the Deal was made and
the Ladies ofthe NJ. e. Church, who
were serving full Meal of Victuals
for 80 cents, were out quite Sum
after Bill got through patronizing
them.
Along in the Afternoon the Cham
pion Ride Stealer was under the
Naples, dragging at a PHI and read
Ing Newspaper which, previously,
had been wrapped around a Picnic
Luncheon, including Eggs, when he
noticed a lot of Excitement along
Main Street and presently he
learned that the Bally Hoo Well
had come in and developed a Spout
er and all those who held any Stock
in the Concern would be Million
aires and compelled to spend Por-
ton of the Year in New York City.
1t seems that the Principal Pro-
moter had become cold in the Feet
and unloaded all of his Stock on
poor Bill, the ignorant Hobo. just
four Hours before the Property be-
came valuable beyond the most ex-
citing Dreams of Avarice. In the
morning the Stock had been quoted
at One-fourth of One Cent a Share.
SO that the great Bundle of Shares
which the Slicker wished on Bill
represented an annual Market value
of S25. Before Nightfall local Syn
dioatn caid fn baua fbo Cton1ord