The Coolidge examiner., 1932-10-14
Fable of Surround
ing Endicott
g
By GEORGE ADE
9. l9s2. BelI syndlcate.-W:lU servioe.


dent. The important 1t was high
ly-colored and wriggly Boy weigh
ing close on to 10 Pounds. The Fa-
ther, who had suffered unspeakable
Agonies during the Ordeal, was
known as Henry or Hen and the
Mother, who also was among Those
/ Present, bore the old-faShiOned
MOnicker of Martha, so the OFF
spring, for no particular Reason,
was Christened Endicott because
that Label sounded like Money and
Social Eminence.
Let us take a Peek at the Bio
graphical Data surrounding the Par
ents so that we may better under
stand the Policy which they adopt
ed for the upbringing and guidance
of the First-Born.
Henry came from a Farm, where
he slept on a Straw Tick, plowed
through the Snow Drifts TO the
Little Red School House, associated
with sporty Hired Hand and
toiled under the hot Sun for Moth
ing a Month. Later he did Janitor
Work and lived on Soda Crackers
and other Food devoid of Vitamins
while struggling through a Secta-
rian College When he arrived in
the City he lacked about Ten Beans
of having Anything at all and the
only Fact that saved his Boarding
House from being a Flop Joint was
that the Windows had Lace Cur
tains.
Henry grubbed and saved and
kept a Gimlet Eye on the Main
Chance and presently Owned a
newly-painted Home which was
mortgage-free, and a stream-line
Roadster and n shapely Partner
who had Eyes like Girl of 1G and
knew how to keep House.
The Touch System.
Martha came from a Small Town
where her no-good Dad wore the
same Derby Hat and solicited Insur-
ance for many Years before he was
buried by the Lodge. She had to
make her own Clothes and waited
on the Table while attending Nor
NAL School. For q while she Taught
and then she achieved great Popu-
larity by combining rapid Short
Hand with Correct Spelling and be-
came an Ornament TO large Busi-
ness Concern. After humping the
Bumps and running the Gauntlet
and swimming the Rapids and be-
ing tried by Fire, she had her own
Apartment and a Wardrobe, with
out losing her Identity as a Mem
Der of the Female Sex, and then
Henry discovered her and bounded
her into taking a Chance.
Here were two Self-Madei who
had demonstrated that the Path to
Success is paved with flinty Stones
and bordered with Thistles. Henry
and Martha had arrived because
they got out and mingled with all
kinds of ornery Mortals and wras-
sled with Circumstances and were
not afraid of Perspiration.
So they figured that to make a
Neat Job of little Endicott, they
should protect him from all the
Hardships they had endured and
surround him with all of the sweet
and civilizing Influences which had
been denied them. In this Respect
they were running true to Form. 1t
Is hard to find Parents who have
any Faith in old-fashioned Recipes.
If they travelled in the Grit they
want the Youngsters to ride on vel
vet.
Having proved that Assets have
no Value unless they are won in
Battle, they proceed to spoon-feed
the Children and hire Foreigners to
wait on them.
These two anxious Parents read
books on the Subject and learned
that their precious Jewel should be
nurtured to Greatness by Contact
with all that is True and Beautiful
and Good. They sat up Nights to
dope out the proper Environment.
The Big Idea is that a young and
responsive and sympathetic Being
who leans up against knowledge
and Culture will, by Capillary Ac-
ton, absorb all of the Ingredients
which will make him high-brow and
useful and looked up to and envied.
If you surround the Little One
with Masterpieces Of Art, he or she
will come to know the Differences
between Good Pictures and those
appearing on the Outside Cover of
a Story Magazine.
Ushers in a Theater learn the
Music of the Opera, without any
Attempt to memorize it. The Melo-
dies soak into them.
Kids who are dragged to Church
get the Scripture and the Hymns
even if they have no Enthusiasm for
Sacred Themes.
Even the Noodle-Heads who are
carted over to Europe find them
selves STEPPED in History and Archi-
lecture and Table d'Hotes and come
hack different