The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1932-01-28
LIGHTS , + S H1s1Es
Of NEW YORK

e q n
wealth and position who never has
had a high regard for regulations
of the order which appear to her
a bit stupid and unnecessary. Up
to recent times, of course, men
have made laws and women have
made customs, and the fact Is that
the average woman, being really
much more Independent of thought
than any man, Is governed mainly
by her own sense of the fitness of
things rather than by any legal
code. That may not be clear to
you, but 1 know what / mean.
At any rate, for various reasons,
this woman had not been abroad
in rather a long time, but decided
to spend season in Europe. She
discovered that she had to obtain
a passport. Used to special con-
sideration, she did not see why
she had to take out such a docu-
ment, she being a nice person
whom any country should be glad
to entertain, and, If she did have
to take it out, she didn't see why
there was so much red tape to be
,unraveled. Finally she got the
passport and showed it to her hus-
band. He, being man, was con-
siderably startled when he looked
1t over.
"This picture is you, all right"
he said, ''but they must have made
mistake. The description doesn't
fit you in the least. Your eyes, for
example, are light blue. This de-
scribes them as hazel"
"Yes," said his wife calmly. 81
always have wanted hazel eyes,"
"What has that got to do with
it?" said the man. "Your eyes are
blue"
"Don't be silly" said his wife.
"When they insisted upon my de-
scribing myself, I thought of just
how had always wished to look,
so just pretended I looked that
way. It's very good description.
When last seen, the husband
looked as If he were about to
have apoplexy.
Custom officers have told me that
women are much more successful
smugglers than men, because man,
the poor COOP, trying to bring in
more than the permitted number
of cigars or the remains of what
he was not able to drink on the
boat, usually is thinking about the
law and looks as guilty as If some
body had just caught him robbing
hen roost, while the little woman,
being firmly of the opinion that 1t
is right and proper for her to bring
in anything she desires, looks as
tranquil and innocent as big-eyed
fawn.
There is in New York very tall
artist whose chum is a little fell
low. The two are inveterate prac-
teal jokers and the things they
can think up are weird in the ex-
IRENE. 1t was these two who
bought park bench, got a bill of
sale for 1t, carried it around the
park, and almost drove a desk SER
geant to apoplexy, the fourth. time
a patrolman brought them in. Re
Gently they have evolved a new
stunt. They board a subway as
pretended strangers. The little fell
low goes into one car and the big
fellow gets a seat In the car ahead.
After the train has started the lit
tie fellow walks forward. When
he gets to where the big fellow is
seated, he stops, takes out his
handkerchief, puts one hand on the
big fellows head, presses the hand
kerchief firmly against his nose
with the other hand, and, in the
kindly tone of parent addressing
a child, says
Blown ~,9Ia
The big fellow trumpets, after
which the little fellow puts the
handkerchief back in his pocket
and continues through the train,
leaving his companion calm, but the
other passengers in a state of some
perturbation.
A book entitled Peacock Alley"
Is soon to be published by Harper's.
1t was written by James R. Nc
Rutherford, the latter name being
a nom de plume. 1t is a history
of the site Of the old Waldorf, now
occupied by the Empire State
building, and of those persons who
were identified in one way or an
other with the famous hotel.
LIE Roy p. Ward Is the architect
of the new Kings County hospital,
and Kenny brothers are the brick
contractors. Frank Kenny Is an
old Notre Dame man and q number
of the South Bend football players
work for him during the vacation
months to keep In shape for grid
iron work In the autumn. One Of
his foremen is the father of John
Law, former Notre Dame star.
Forty-fourth street and Sixth ave-
nue. has become crowded corner
of Manhattan. Just above there on
the avenue are a lot of employ
ment agencies. On the corner,
they are excayating for a new:
DullQlnS. CFOWuS OF the un6In-
ployed stand around and watch the
steam shovels at work. 9s
Z! -
It has become really dangerous
to sit around with your friends. A
lot of them appear to have sue
cumbed to an educational complex.
They want you to play spelling
games, one of these games where
somebody mentions a letter. and
the next one adds a letter, and so
on around the room until somebody
completes the word. When you
complete word, you drop out. In
the first place, certain of my friends
have charged that I keep my spell
ing in my wife's name, and in the
second place, I don't like spelling
games and never did. And, If they
don't start spelling game, they
begin on definitions. That's just as
bad. Who cares about the differ
ence between biennial and biannu-
al? And, by the way, what does
"moiety" mean?