The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1932-08-04

Somebody came down to camp Mon
day and seeing about thirty-five
scouts and me, asked if they were all
my kids, or if it was just a picnic. Re-
membering a joke 1 once heard, 1 told
him they were my kids and that
it was no picnic. Cook Bill Turney
reafirmed the fact that it was no
picnic as far as he was concerned
either. Quick on rebuttal. That's US.
A woman of considerable dimen-
sions is just now STOPPING in front Of
the Garrett National. She can hardly
waddle and her shoe string needs ty-
ing. Mental note: Should the well
behaved young man rush down and
offer his services?)
Now she is looking about furtively
to see if anybody is looking. She is
going to attempt it! J. Her first try for
a bendover is complete failure. My
heavens, lady, don't try to raise your
foot up to the ledge of the bank win
dow! What would the neighbors
think? Boy, that scare's over for the
time being at least. Why doesn't she
try the curb? She's bending over
again and this time with the assist
ance of little extra straining on my
part via the mental telepathy route,
she has fastened her fingers on both
strings of the right shoe. I'm glad
it's all over, lady!
What! Success has gone to her
head. She's trying to tie the other
one. The last strain was too much.
She's all stopped over now and can't
seem to stoop back up again. I'm
glad there's a doctors office handy.
Do you suppose she would believe
my intentions were of the best if I
suggested going there?
She has one hand on the window
sill now. Let's all give an Galley
oop." She's up again and after an
other glance everywhere but up here
in The Republican window, she's on
her way again.
was all set to eat some pie and ice
cream but Pm afraid of the conse-
uuences after that scene.
|
It's a pity somebody else couldn't
come along the street now and give
me another idea. If not, / guess I'll
have to finish this without any.
| 49,
Charley Sprague still contends that
the shirt sleeve is all right for a nap
kin. As proof he brings in news
paper of national fame in which it
states that in the Seventeenth Cen
fury it was considered the best OF
manners to use your hosts tablecloth
for handkerchief.
! If had been a host in those days
would have stipulated that no guests
with colds in the head would be con-
sidered gentlemanly under any cir
cumstances if they took advantage Of
the customs of the time,
| $50
And speaking along this line, do
you know why buttons are put on
coat sleeves? Really, Charlie, you
ought to know. They are a relic OF
the days when something had to be
done to keep men from using their
sleeves as a handkerchief. You never
see buttons on my coat sleeves. have
outgrown the habit of using it.
Do use handkerchief? Oh. yes,
sometimes; but I usually just sniffie.
$50
Bud Winters asked me the other
day if 1 was Scoop, and laughed so
heartily while asking that felt fiat
tered. The laugh sounded just like
that.
"You never read that stuff much" l
asked, secretly hoping that he would
deny the statement Immediately and
maybe add compliment or two.
"Oh, not very Often" he NUT
tered. Just imagine the shock to my
vanity, doctor.
It's a wonder Pm able and willing
to write this week at all.
But it was cured the next day when
somebody came in and said they read
every word of it every week and
liked it. That makes it even again.
Lizzie fish is trying to make Arch
ibaldson or somebody else Yiddisher.
In an advertisement last week it said,
"Try advertising in this NEWS
PEPPER" and Lizzie thought it was
alright.
Last weeks Democrat said store
II, town bod douhlod itS floor Snace nv