The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1932-02-04

just one. have to have both. I worry
all the time. Won't you please help
me, as / can't stand the strain much
longer. FOREVER BLUE.
Dear Forever Blue = Your first
duty is to the baby, who can not
stand on his own legs and who has
every right to look to you for sup
port. Your husband should not ask
you to forsake your child. 1t seems
to me that, if his love was worth
having, it would embrace both you
and the baby.
Before taking a drastic step, try
a little strategy. Ask your hus-
band as sweetly as you know how
to let you have the baby for fire.
quent visits. While the child is
with you, be careful not to neglect
the husband, but redouble your eff
forts to charm him, with frequent
expressions of passionate. gratitude
for his acceptance of the child, even
temporarily.
Let him see that when the child
is there you love him more for his
generosity, not less because your at
tention is distracted from him. AL
though he probably doesn't know
it, he is suffering from sexual
jealousy of the child's father. Don't
let his silly little-boy attitude an
tagonize you or make you into a
martyr. Pity the poor fellow and
treat him with tender consideration.
Assuage his hurt with frequent
expressions of deep affection. Tell
him how superior he is to the child'S
father and how lucky the child
would be to live under his guidance.
Don't nag, condemn, or brood. If
you are clever enough, I know you
can handle this situation without
painful break.
If patience, understanding and
tact fail, I can't advise you what to
do. It depends on your personal
courage. I am the mother of two
boys myself and I would walk out
on any man who couldn't accept
them with courtesy and a reason
able degree of affection.
Dear Jane Jordan-I know a man who
is 20 years old. He loves a girl four
years older than he is. The girl is nice
and refined, has the highest ideals. and
she loves this young man. However.
the young man is continually in hot
water because his friends tell him that
he shouldn't go with a girl that old.
Should this young man let the diff
ference in age break them up when
they really love each other?
YoUNGSTER.
Dear oungster-Marriage where
the husband is markedly younger
than the wife nearly always fail.
On the other hand, where the diff
ference is slight, the marriage has
better chance to succeed than
most because it re-establisheS the
mother son relationship of the
mans childhood.
The difficulties of the young man
who marrieS an older woman are
these:
Many times he fastens on the old
err woman when he is very young,
and for some reason, is too diff
dent to make love to girls of his own
age. The older woman, with her
maternal manners, makes it easier
for him to overcome his shyness and
slip into the attitude of lover, with
hint of the mother-son relation
ship.
AS he natures, his diffidence often
vanishes and he finds himself in
need of totally different type of
woman. Then comes a tragic de-
parture from the woman who was
first to help him make one of the
most difficult transitions of adele
scence.
If the man in question is not at
tracted to the girl merely because
his youthful shyness makes him
avoid girls of his own age, if he
knows what he wants, even at 20,
four years difference in age not only
can be ignored, safely, but it may
be a definite advantage. If the mar
riage fails, it will not be due to the
difference in years, but to other
and more adverse influences.