The Washington times., 1932-07-02
ROGERS ASLEEP,
ROBBED Of
2 VOTES
CONTINUED from. Page -

R1Ccn1e W0ulQ nave given We
the whole State of Maryland
with the Vice Presidency thrown
In Just for amusement sake.
Why, l could have taken those
votes and run Andy Mellon out
Of the embassy in England with
'em. I could have got that job
with only 10 of the votes.
And what do 1 do? Go to
G;eep and wake up without even
the suppor, of the Virgin Islands
They not only took my votes
but they got my hat and my
typewriter.
Not Even an Alternate
not only lost my % delegates,
but I woke up without even as
much as an alternate.
Now what am I? Just another
ex-Democratic presidential cand1-
date.
There's thousands Of 'em.
Well. the whole thing has been
q terrible lesson to me and moth
ing to do but start in and live it
down.
But did you ever parade at 6
o'clock in the morning? OF course,
nobody ever did but the Demo
Gratis. I've been in circus parades
and wild west parades but had
never entered a political parade.
I had laughed at many one but
had never become looney enough
to participate.
Old Friend, Bill Murray
But yesterday morning as dawn
was breaking over the machine
gunists of Chicago and you could
just see the early peep of light
down early-rising gangsters' rifle
barrels, one of Oklahoma's ex-
governors arose and started to
put in nomination a fellow gov.
ernor.
His melodious voice aroused me
from my slumbers. It was a
friend, Henry johnson, nominal
ing my old friend, Bill Murray.
When he finished. the heavens
broke loose. noise accompanied by
bedlam, and what daSheS into the
arena? Not as you would expect
at that hour of the morning, a
milk wagon, but a band of beau
tiful little girls, all dressed in
kits, and, thank goodness, not,
playing bagpipes, but musical in.
Struments.
They had come add the way
from Oklahoma City to help Our
BiII' Murray's parade. Was I 60
ing to. get in it? If / could get
woke up, I was. I had no hat.
Brisbane had been sleeping on
mine during the nomination
speeches.
Sole Surviving Farmer
So Anon G. Carter, Texas sole
surviving dirt farmer (whose
farm is on the principal street of
Dallas acted as my unmounted
outrider. He handed me a straw
hat with the word Texas on the
band and for no reason at all
(like Democrats do everything)
somebody handed me cane. I
waved it till 1 almost hit Mrs.
Woodrow Wilson in the eye.
Along the route of march. we
picked a couple of girls who
had been stranded by some ear
lier demonstration. They evil
IDENTIFY were, just "thumbing"
their way around the hall. I was
against taking them on.
But Anon thought perhaps
they were maybe F.. F.. VS. from
the old Commonwealth, of Vir.
ginia and were trying to make
their way back to Governor
Byrd's headquarters in the Cul-
peper corner of the hall.
Then as if by magic. the rising
sun started creeping in through
the stained glass windows of this
great cathedral of liberty and
justice, and I got the first real
look at our travelling companionS.
The heels of their shoes were
much run down, which we knew
at a glance was the badge Of the
Republican party.
Pop Corn RatiOnS
And then we realized that they
were left-overs from the late
Hoover uprising in the same hall
two weeks ago.
Some kindly soul that hal tenn
porarily escaped the depression
handed me a box of pop corn,
so I had rationS through the
biggest part Of the pilgrimage.
The hall runs about three miles
to the lap.
The journey got us no votes,
but like all these half-witted con-
vention parades. it kept anybody
else from getting any votCS-or
rest either-until every maYcher
became thoroughly disguised with
himself.
I am glad Chicago's children
didn't come by on their way to
school that morning and see how
this wonderful system of choos-
ing our country's leaders was con-
Quoted. They would never again
have asked:
"What'S the matter with the
country"
copyright, 1882. McNaught
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