The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1932-03-10
SCOOPS COLUMN
By Scoop Himself


There isn't any doubt about the
answer to one of my 81 Wonders" in
last Thursdays column as to whether
or not we were going to have any
winter this year. It certainly scat.
tered the caravan of the Boys Band
Sunday afternoon and evening. But
look at the experience they will have
to tell their grandchildren about
Spending the night at Evans Hill
Sebold's Turn, Accident, Uniontown
Sand Flat, Kingwood and points en
route from Pittsburgh, is an event
that doesn't happen more than once a
year-or once in lifetime.
H**
To relieve me from putting my
brain to work this morning, I received
a letter from Gerald Chinwit, of Red
Raven, Maryland. Inasmuch as the
letter was postmarked Steyer, I be-
lieve Jerry is trying to hide his wit
under his whiskers. He asks me to
say something nice about him and
promises if I do he will send me some
poetry for this column.
If it's anything like some of the
poetry I have received here, all 1 car
say to him is "Pooey, pooey." He will
not only have to pay for having il
published, but he must pay cash in adj
vance to have me even read it.
The letter from Gerald however
speake for itself. And when you car
get other people to think for you,
ask you, what's the use of doing any
of it yourself.
Mr.. Chinwit's Letter.
Red Raven, Maryland,
February 81, 1882.
Dear Scoop
Noticing you published the letter
you received one time from YOU
thousands of delighted readers, have
decided to write you one. Now, isn't
that nice? You see I have tried other
methods without success, so this
seems the only way I can get my
name in the paper. If you don't put
this letter in your paper, I'll send one
to the Democrat.
The weakly paper from Oakland al
ways arrives late out here where ]
live in my ancestral home that has
been in the family ever since the fell
Ter that owned it couldn't pay for il
and a automobile both, and I always
look forward with anxiety and yearn-
ing to the Observation-Disclosures
the postman, he's Democrat anyway
what 1 started to say was, is, will
be (you can straighten it out before
you give this to the Boss Editor)
Now where were we? Oh, / always
look forward eagerly to the moment
when I can clip your column out OF
The Republican so the children will
not read it. They are inclined to get
that way anyway and enough is toe
much.
What like most about your column
is its style. 1 think you acquire
style. Your stuff reads as though you
just had to say it. In fact, one gets
the impression that you wouldn't say
it at all if you could find a way out
of it.
Well, Scoop, have to work too, SO
I can sympa-YOU know what
mean, Scoop. I really do feel for you
Well, as the saying is, eff worst comes
to the worst, there's always the
river, you know"
Your style, Scoop, is what puts
your column across. Style with a
natural swing and punch in it. Now,
if you could just think of something
to say-and you can, Scoop, if you
Just make up your mind to it. Others
can do it; why not you? Early in
the morning, just before retiring
Just say to yourself, 81 WILL
THINK; WILL, I WILL" Then in
the afternoon when you get out OF
bed, keep repeating, over and over
IT WILL THINK; I WILL, I WILL
Keep it up all the time. You will be
surprised at the ease with which re-
suits are obtained. Ideas will come
to you nearly every week and some OF
them may be printed without getting
you in Jail.
I like you, Scoop, otherwise I would
not give you all this free advice and
encouragement. If you print this
letter and say something nice about il
I may even send you some of my jokes
and poetry for your column. want
to say right now, though, I WILL
NOT PAY TO HAVE THEM PUB.
LISHED. Don't make the mistake
other editors have made.
Well, I'm about out of paper, sc
must close.
Very truly yours,
GERALD CHINWIT.
Coroobo1v m. othar ono of tho thinue