Morgan County Democrat. (McConnelsville, Ohio) 1886-1943, 1932-03-17
THE REPUBLICAN FIZZLE
With Apologies to Cub Humphries
(By r. M. Winegardner)

ADJ 49, AVA' w LIZ oAi uh0A
The lion roared. The rafters
shook and the people trembled.
The mighty organization of stall
wart Republican women of Morgan
county shouted from the house tops
or perhaps, like the Indians of old,
burned their camp fires on the hill
tops and used smoke signals to in
form the so-called superior intelli-
gentia of Morgan county that a
great event was about to take place :
that the great Mr.. David ingalls,,
multimillionaire wet candidate for
governor, at the Republican pri-
maries, was coming to town to
speak to them. A great outpouring
of the Eagles standard bearers was
expected on March IA. In fact,
such a great outpouring that it was
decided the Woodmen hall would
no longer accommodate the crowd,
and so, after a pow-wow of Repub-
lican leaders, it was decided that
the place of meeting must be shift
ed to the Opera House.
Mr. ingalls, was publicised galore
Pictures, newspaper articles, tele-
phone, tell-a-woman and smoke
signals were used to spread the
news of his coming. Out of the air
they expected him to descend like
the angel of old, to lift them up out
of their misery and despair to a
fantastical throne of prosperity and
realism similar to that enjoyed un-
der the leadership of the great
Woodrow Wilson, only Is years be-
fore. But 10, the angel did not
descend. Stranded, they say
stranded in the north land was Mr.
ingalls,. 20 miles away Oh, yes,
not 20 miles from McConnelsville
but 20 miles from Cleveland. Great
was the chagrin of the local leaders.
What, oh yes, what should they do?
They scratched their heads.
There was the opera house, dark
and cold and dreary. Earle Eve
land had advertised the Republican
pow-wow which could not be de-
livered. 1t was too late for Earle
to run his Monday night picture
show. So, being true blue, the Re-
publicans decided to do nothing and
let Earle hold the bag. He might
just as we'll have gone "snipe
hunting as to advertise this Repub-
lican fizzle. No meeting was held
A few disgruntled stragglers wend
ed their way home disgusted
1t is funny, you know, how our
Republican sisters and supporting
brethren cannot hold a meeting with
out bringing in some outside blah-
blah talent to try to shout the bug
a-boO of Republican panic away, and
drown for an hour or so their
troubles and worry of trying to feed
ten million unemployed men and
their families, with peppy musi1
from jazz band. Don't buy real
estate with a brass band around"
was the warning of the late Cyrus
Locher, Director of Commerce in
Vic Donahey's Cabinet, to Ohio in
vestors who were clamoring to sink
their life savings in the Florida
real estate bubble a few years ago.
Those who needed his warning were
glad; those who did not are sad.
How much longer will the thinking
men and women of Morgan county
be led astray to invest in Repub-
lican promises of prosperity while
the "jazz bands play and "the
auctioneer sells their farms and
homes from under them?"
Like the whale that comes up for
air, the Republican fizzle blowed
and squirted and then dived for the
depths until another month rolls
around.
Editors note: 1t would seem
from reports that the worst disap-
pointed person was Hugh James
chairman G. B. and introduce the
speaker. He spent five days pre-
pairing his speech, and Sunday night !
about 10 o'clock he went to the op
era house to rehease, and while |
here came near getting run in. |
Hearing an awful hue, the faithful |
own marshal and assistant sheriff |
'ushed in the opera house to learn |
he cause of the outcry. Their |!
hought was that the first assistant |
editor of the Herald had ignited |
again in the same place. After
the pinch hitter not to dis
urb the peace and quietness of the |
own, he was permitted to go |
ahead and practice for several |
hours longer. Donahue is sore and |
leclares. he will never permit him.
,eIf to be drafted again for such a
purpose.
Later:-We learn that Mr.. Eve
and has been promised the rent for
he opera house. 1t will be met |
rom the collections taken at the
Cooper and Brown meetings.
Road Letting Delayed A Month
The contract for building of the