The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1932-06-02

one hand and makes an ellipse of
thumb and finger Of the other
hand.
THE walters cries of helpless
l. ness bring the dining room
manager. He too, fails to interpret
this abracadabra. A frenzied
wrangle follows.
The American grows apopletic.
His voice and color mount. Final
ly an Intourist guide is called to
interpret the message, which by
now commences to sound ridicu-
lous.
Ten minutes later the eggs ar
rive. They are hard boiled.
Back to room 265. which the
three porters. now augmented to
four, are just leaving as I APP
proach.
1T is finished?"
Finished" chants the plumb
ers' quartet.
1 twist the faucet. The water
is bright redl Is this Soviet
theology? Is this dialectic ma
ternalism? These are the two
pet phrases of the tovarish). The
water flows for five minutes; ten.
1t runs the same shade all the
time I am in Moscow.
It is not a strange, new, nat
ural phenomenon, symbolically
indorsing the Soviet color sign.
1t is simply that the water pipes
are rusty.
Can anything be done? Eyes.
Sechase." I have heard that word
beforel It means presently, at
once. But it also means practically
never.
A SERVICE button glistens
N conspicuously over the door
way of Room 265. I remember
the scornful way the Russians
have of referring to Americans as
a nation Of button pushers.
"a press Of the button and
everything is done. leaving no
personal incentive" is the Soviet
argument.
They are not victims Of cny
such labor saving device, for I'M
der the button in my room there
is a card, neatly hand written in
four languages, stating, This bell
does not work"
One morning I awake with
headache. At home I might have
taken a couple of aspirin tablets.
Here in a strange land, the seri-
BUSINESS of my illness grows dis
proportionate.
Nine. Krasnaschokova, arriving
to set me forth on a days
planned events, is sympathetic.
Would I like a doctor?
I see an opportunity to put Rus
STA on trial in the handling of a
visitors illness. So I add a few
groanS and insist on a doctor. My
guide asks one more question.
rs your illness internal or ex-
ternal?"
I answer internal. and ask why
I learn that doctors and clinics
are divided in Russia, among
those who treat internal ailments,
and those who treat outside dis
turbances.
A telephone call TO announce
our coming; another for an in
tourist car to convey us, and in
half an hour I am IN the pres
ence of capable physician.
QUEUES of women await their
~ turn to register as patients.
But the Intourist girl rushes 10
the head Of the line. There is
some protest.
I hear her say, Etc Stranatzi,
and the line falls back courteously.
The Russian treatment Of strang-
ers is unfailingiy gracious and
conS.derate.
Remove your coats mere, q
mans voice commands. once I am
enrolled and on my way upstairs,
All other garments, hats and rub
bers, including those Of the
patients, however Ill, must be
checked.
Again a line Of patients to be
encountered, but my guide is in
trepid. In a few minutes the
doctor is taking down a history,
and shortly after, treatment and
relief follow.
Everything is spotless. There is
no hurry. no disorder, no con-
fusion. The fee is six rubles.
Intourist's interpreters appear
to be sisters of mercy. How tc
send a telegram: where to buy a
darning needle; when to make q
fuss-they know.
They have been accused OF
shepherding tourists to the things
the government wants TO be seen
Perhaps. But each traveller may
hire his own car and chauffeur
and he may 60 almost anywhere c
foot.
ITO Be continusil