The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1932-06-17
SWELL AFFAIR."
AFTER HOOVER'S
BOYS WOKE UP
Celebration Like Yanking
Teeth From Delegates,
MCLemore Finds.
BY HENRY McLEMORE
United Press STAFF Correspondent


CHICAGO, June 1.-THE Re-
publicans crowned Herbert Hoover
queen of the mardi gras. Miss
America 1882, Miss Atlantic City
1917, King of the Peach, Apple and
Paw-Paw Festivals, King of Gas
parilla and Queen of the May
Thursday.
The demonstration started when
the coronation was accompanied
by a demonstration spontaneous as
a golden wedding anniversary and
exciting as second honeymoon.
For a part of an hour the dele
gates tore around the hockey rink
at the mad mad pace of a vassar
daisy-chainer with fallen arches.
and with the frenzied enthusiasm
OF guy going to pay February's
rent.
The demonstration started when
Hoover was nominated for king of
the cling stone peach festival by a
man whose name I did not catch.
but who could be identified any,
where by set of eyebrows vast as
the African bush and just as
tangled.
"Aint' We Got Fun"
AS this gentleman ended his
speech with Il give you Herbert
Hoover, man who for three years
has stood on the bridge of the ship
OF state without a raincoat." six
delegates from Oregon yawned, two
from Mississippi stretched and one
from Idaho beat his feet, which had
gone to sleep, upon the floor.
The riot was on. There was no
stopping it now. For as fast as
delegates rose up to stretch they
awakened their sleeping neighbors,
who, naturally, resented the inter-
ruption of their slumber with loud
and vigorous complaints.
The confusion was increased when
Senator Fess signaled to a work
man in the rafters to release huge
crates of balloons. The minute the
balloons struck the hard heads of
the delegates, they exploded.
frightening everybody, especially
the Chicago delegates, who threw
UP their hands and tossed their
wallets on the floor.
What a Grand Affair!
Fearing that the conventions
record of not having had a sincere
demonstration all week was about
to be broken, Senator Tess mounted
the platform and appealed for quiet.
But the delegates, fully awake
now for the first time since Sen
ator Dickinson put them to sleep
with his keynote address on Tues
day, would not be orderly. They
continued to move about the floor
shaking hands, swapping telephone
numbers, Strengthening their ties,
and tying their shoes in an effort
to show their admiration and ex-
element for Hoover.
Angered, Fess apparently decided
to teach the delegates a lesson. He
hurried to the rear of the arena and
unlocked a door, releasing a regi-
ment of trombone players.
The trombonists rode straight
toward the spot where the crowd
was thickest. When they were but
ten PAGES from the enemy, the
leader called a halt.
And the Real tSOry
Men," he said in voice choked
with emotion, the honor of the Re-
publican party is at stake. This I'M
ruly demonstration must be stopped.
Now cock those pieces!"
AS man, the regiment drew
deep breath-a sort of sinister
''oomph"-and the slides were ready
for the forward stab, or "poomph."
Charge" barked the lieutenant.
And don't fire until you see a bay
window you can't miss
There was a tremendous "poomph"
as the trombonists fired their first
round.
The entire North Dakota delega-
ton, which occupied the front line,
fell on the first blast. New Mexico
was next to GO. And then Georgia,
Texas, New Hampshire and Maine
Finally, there was not a delegate
standing.
And that, my children, is how
order was restored in the national
Republican convention.