The Coolidge examiner., 1932-07-01

know, why the program attracted
him.
He felt a little frightened at first
at the prospect of meeting people
Of so strange a sort as Jake's
friends would be, doubtful If he'd
know what to say to them.
He thought, at least, that fright
was what he felt, but he decided,
when he sat down. after an admir-
able cocktail, to the excellent din
ner which was served to the two
of them in Jake's room, that 1t had
been merely hunger. He couldn't
remember how long it had been since
he'd eaten a square meal. Break
fast that morning when he'd
planned under preteXt Of meeting
Edith's train, making that last ap-
peal to Bert Willard-that couldn't
have been this morning, could it?
1t seemed a week away.
Lord, what a day it had been
Well, he needn't think about that
now. Not yet. There was still the
wedding.
The marriage ceremony didn't
take long. 1t was a little startling
to reflect how quickly a momentous
act of that sort could be accom-
plished. But there was a supper
afterward that he couldn't, without
discourtesy, evade.
He didn't stay the party out. 1t
came over him, suddenly, that it
must be getting late; time for
humdrum suburbanite like himself
to be going home. But the pleasant
afterglow OF the evenings good fell
lowship hadn't left him when he
found himself sitting in the elevated
train, bound for Lakeside.
He was under no illusion as to
what awaited him there. He could
see the look In Julia's face, the last
before she'd turned away and rushed
upstairs to her room. Shed have
looked just about like that If he'd
struck her-beaten her. That was
what it came to practically.
What in the world had made him
run amuck like that? Even II all
the charges he'd hurled at her had
been true-and he wasn't sure, now,
that they weren't-why had he been
so frantic as to make them?
1t wasn't for that that he'd gone
home TO lunch. He'd been stung,
Inundated by Bert Wizards re-
fusal-or rather by the terms upon
which Bert had offered to help him.
(Bert had been absolutely right, Of
course. He'd shown himself a true
friend. He. as well as Julia, had an
apology coming TO him before ac-
counts were squared) But he'd
gone home to Julia to get from her
the help Bert had denied him; to
get her to consent to his putting
mortgage on the house. And she'd
told him she would.
And the next thing he knew he'd
found himself indulging in the CIV
ilized husbands equivalent for beat
ing her up. He'd even dragged In
that shabby puerile affair Of his with
Ruth Ingraham. No wonder she'd
asked him why he had wanted to
rake that up, nowi
Why had he raked II up? 1t was
months since he'd thought about
Ruth. She'd gone as completely out
Of his existence as the girls he'd
known in college. She could never
have been very real TO him. 1t must
have been an idea, mostly; an OBJ
sessing idea, sure enough. The
hours he'd spent thinking about her
Well no, not about her so much ;about
his attitude toward her and Julia's
attitude toward him. He'd felt so
noble about II and she wouldn't let
him get away with it.
Under the impact of an idea he
sat up a little. That was exactly
what he'd been accusing Julia of
today. OF banking her grievances
in a savings account, drawing in
terest on them, measuring her own
virtues in terms of them. Wasn't
that what he himself had been do
ing all along?
He could see now what had been
the matter with him. 1t came down
to one thing-his cowardice. He
had always been afraid of-some-
thing. His horror Of selling was
only a symptom of it, Of course. He
had hated doing anything that put
him in a position of asking some
thing that might be refused. 1t
humiliated him, made him feel low
down, guilty. And he'd disguised that
fear as a superiority. He'd taken
dignifed attitude on pedestal and
waited for what he wanted to come
to him. When it didn't come. he'd
get more dignified and superior than
ever.
1t was great to be able to see into
yourself like this
How about Julia? Was she afraid
of something, too? And was she
masking that fear as virtue? She'd