The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1932-09-15

week? We're it not for my public I
don't think would say anything.
49,
|, I've been staring out of the middle
window for long time, but nothing
interesting has passed but the gar
bage wagon, and that is interesting
only to the one who sits behind and
gets the eternal Whit of soured con-
glomeration. What an abnormal nos
tril he must have! I'll bet watermelon
rind of two weeks ago smells sweeter
to him than violets.
l might get up story about the
Boss Editor having a tire and rim
stolen off his automobile last Satur-
day night in front of his house, but
he is rather touchy on the subject and
might not appreciate the joke. I
might add, however, that the tire and
rim were both new.
~**
Or again, I might say something
about the one-legged man who worked
confidence game on Harry Miller,
Henry Lauer, Ray Teets and a few
others of town last week and carted
away some good sized sums of cur
rency, but they might think 1 was try
ing to make them out as suckers, so
I'd better pass that up.
might tell about getting my pants
caught in the barbed wire fence on
Sunday afternoon chasing a base
ball, but that was no joke on me, and
probably sad news to a lot of folks
because 1 didn't crack my skull, and
good news to Harry Sincell because
I'll have to buy another pair, so I
couldn't make much out of that.
There's a story about a cat Elmer
Ault sold to the Piedmont Grocery
Company's manager. He sold it as
one cat but shortly after it was de-
livered Mr.. Michael had a whole flock
of cats. But that story is several
months old, and most everybody in the
country gets too many cats. I'll have
to think of something else.
49,
There's a possibility in the story
about George Giessman getting his
coat stolen-the one with Herbert
Hoover's enlarged picture on the la
pei. If the person who hooked it had
only substituted photograph of Mr..
Roosevelt and returned it, but he did
not. 1t was returned "as was," so
there goes another opportunity for
real story.
l might tell what it feels like to
stay up all night, but that's nothing
new to lot of readers of The Re-
publican and their feelings would
probably be more exciting than mine.
Might tell you that many OF our
confirmed old bachelors are expecting
to attend the fair and visit all of the
shows, but you probably already know
that they will do just that.
49,
/ could tell you about the adver-
tisement for "Titus-Pearls" that The
Republican threw in the waste basket
and the Democrat published. A letter
received here the other day stated
every publisher who was gullible
enough to accept this order should be
compelled to eat a dozen boxes of
these miraculous pills that restore
glands, bring back vital physical pow
ers and remove dizziness and depres
sion." But it wouldn't be exactly
right to picture Editor Willie eating
those dozen boxes or to try to conjec-
ture the result following digestion,
so that's out of the running for this
week.
Maybe you'd like to know how to
scrape varnish from old beds so they
will ultimately appear as modern an
tiques. 1 don't know myself what the
successful way is; Pm just trying. So
I'll let that go until next week.
| **#
The bootlegger is always an inter-
esting subject, but Judge Sloan will
probably tell them plenty next week,
and there's no use rubbing it in.
One day last week a stranger APP
preached me. He had my name writ
ten down (misspelled, by the way),
and said a friend of his told him that
would recommend him to a certain
bootlegger in this town so that he
could get something to drink. If I
thought that would be as funny to
you as it was to me, would tell you
about it. l am afraid to estimate
just exactly what weight a recon-
mendation from me would carry with