The Coolidge examiner., 1932-10-21
Fable of Freddie
and BOW-WOWs
e
BY GEORGE ADE
(G. Bell syndicate.)-wNU Service.

ana the Tears, the Tranquility
of Peace and the Scourges OF
War-ever since the Year of his
Birth, 1915, so that in 1882 he was
permitted to look back over a va.
ried Career of II Years, checking
up the miraculous Changes which
had been wrought by the Introduc
tion of the Oxford Bags, the Dance
known as the Charleston and Choc
olate-covered Ice Cream. to say
nothing of noting with Regret the
Appearance of many Influences
which threatened to disintegrate
Civilization.
1t was Last Year that Freddie
began to shave and become Nissan.
thropic. Perhaps he had quaffed
too freely from the Golden Bowl OF
Pleasure. More than likely he had
even as many another Man of the
World, become surfeited with arti.
fetal Pleasures and was beginning
to discover the Hollowness of the
whole Ball of Wax.
Having run the Gamut of Pleas.
sure and followed every Primrose
Path leading to a Movie Show or q
Candy Store, 1t Is no Wonder that
he became sated with Empty En-.
joyments and was disposed to adopt
Cynical Attitude.
II the lifted Eyebrow and the
cold Smile lurking at one Corner OF
the Mouth. when the Subject OF
Woman was brought up. seemed
subtle Indications that he held
Pessimistic Views in regard to the
muchdiscussed Sex, 1t must be re.
membered that he had drunk the
Pleasures of Dancing Academy "a
| the very Dregs and had Whiled
away the Hours with every Type OF
Vamp under the High School Age,
Before blaming Freddie for being
so BlozZy. one should charitably
consider that he was n Man who. in
taking his Fling. had been played
upon by the Fates and had endured
and suffered.
Not long ago he crawled out one
Morning and sat on the edge of the
Pad. brooding over the Decadence
of the whole Social Organization
There had been many Changes
since the remote and glorious Days
of 1880 and Freddie. surveying
them in the cold Light of Expert
ence. was compelled to admit that
doggone Few of them had been to
the Good.
JeweIry Strictly Banned.
For instance, there was his Shirt
Why hadn't some one taken some
Action or done something in regard
to Shirts in general? The Prince
Of Wales had made it practically
impossible for any Fellow who was
up to Snuff and a real Dinger tc
wear anything except a Blue Shirt
with Soft Collar attached. At first
these Blues had been o. K. Full ot
Snap( Poppy, you understand. They
looked Great in conjunction with
any kind of College Diagonal OF
Knitted Effect in the Cravat Line
Regular old Yale and Harvard
Stuff.
Then, when the Prince had every
Hot Dog in the World sporting q
Robins Egg Blue with a discour.
aged Collar, what does he do but
pull out for Matabeleland, Rho
desia and the Argentine. leaving
all the Chaps flat? They had wait.
ed Week after Week for a Genius
to rise uR and reveal some such In.
spiration as an up-and-down striped
Collar keeping Company with a
clay-colored Shirt and a Butterfly
Bow of rich gangrenous Shade, but
evidently no Sartorial Hero had
the Courage to dispute a Supreme
Authority. No wonder Freddie had
to sigh deeply as he sized up the
hateful Garment, which was made
of the material used in lining Suit
Cases.
After that he permitted himself
to give away to melancholy Refec
tions on the Matter Of Stick Pins
He knew that he could not wear
one without becoming a Social
Pariah but he asked himself why
these pleasing little Ornaments
had been taken away from the Mar
of Fashion. He had some approx
mate Pearls and a ruby-red SET
with Twinklers and often he longed
to flash them on the World and
make it a happier Place Of Resi-
dence, but he had the Dope on what
Men are wearing this Year and he
had studied all of the Sock and
Clothing Ads and he knew that
Americas Junior Aristocracy must
ever carry Panied Expression but
avoid Jewelry.
Within a Few Minutes he was
visited by another great Sorrow
Schooled. as he was, by Contact
with Hard World. he forgot him
self for the Moment and almost
made a Display of Temper. 1t was
while he was applying the Goo
which is supposed to lay the Hail