The Coolidge examiner., 1932-09-16
Fable of the
Hungry Fame
Seeker
g
By GEORGE ADE
&c. Ben syndlcateJ-wNU Service.

NNCE there was a Greenie who
borrowed some Tackle and
went fishing off Catalina Is
land, with the hope that he might
get a Nibble from a Tuna. To those
who never have seen a Tuna II
may be impaired that this Marine
Monster is Minnow two sizes
smaller than a Submarine. Ii is fully
as long as a Freight Car and If do
mesticated. could be used for tow
ing Barges. The zap who rode
back and forth across the dancing
Waves, trolling an attractive Bait
and begging the Fish to give him
some Trade, was playing in rare
Luck. because he never got Strike.
II he had. the poor Woofus would
not have remained in the Boat
ON another Occasion a cheerful
Imbecile polished up a dinky Rife
such as the Merry-Makers at Coney
Island use in shooting at sheet-iron
Ducks and other movable Targets.
lie put on a Boy Scout Uniform
and went out into the Hills, hoping
that he could scare up a Grizzly
Bear All day he scrambled around,
kicking AT the Underbrush and max.
ing Noises which were meant to in
suit the Bear and induce him TO
come out and put up n Battle. The
Guardian Angels who fly over Cars
driven by Women and protect the
Patriot who buys Fireworks must
have been on the job that Day be
cause the dauntless Nimrod never
saw Hide or Hair Of a Grizzly. That
is why he lived to get back home
and e2t a hearty Supper.
II happened that Young Man
who thought he was, whereas he
really wasn't, came into more sweet
Currency than you could shovel
with Scoop Shovel in Three
Months. One Night. in a select
Club. which has since been pad
locked no less than three times, he
found himself gazing at n hypnotic
Brunette even as an English Spar
row might gaze at the beautiful but
deadly Cobra.
He never before had seen so much
Brunette packed into so few Clothes
and he knew that Life would not
mean anything to him unless he
could be near her, 10 inhale the 80
or 40 kinds of Perfumery she was
using and have all the other Johns
chewing their Wrist Watches in
Envy.
This one made Pola Negri look
like Clergyman's Daughter. You
could hear the Current cracking.
The yearling Child OF Fortune
tried to semaphore a few Signals
TO the dusky Queen and get her
interested but she had no Line on
the Bank Roll and did not like the
Soft Shirt he wore with the Dinner
Jacket, so she threw him about l.
900 Feet into the Air and rode away
into the Night with a big Sausage
Man from the West.
For several Days the Sailors on
his Yacht had to watch him to keep
him from going overheard with the
Anchor in his Arms, which would
have been his only chance of sink
ing. He thought that he had been
given a Dirty Deal, whereas he
should have been singing at the Top
OF his Voice. for If little Rita Poz-
eta. the undulating Vamp. had tax
en- real Fancy to him, 1t would
have cost him over 100000.
Poor Brakes Break Many a Man.
Two years ago a prominent Men,
ber of the Chamber of Commerce
of Oklahoma City, Okla, was in
Europe taking his first real Rest
since the Syndicate in which he
was interested struck the Gusher.
He watched the wheel at Monte
Carlo and. being quick at Figures
and able to see right through any
Proposition on the Jump, he felt
almost sure that it would be a Cinch
TO win all the deprecated Currency
and close the Dump.
He sat up for two Nights and
wore ont two Pencils doping a Sys-
TEN which could not lose. He ex-
plained the Modus Operandi to his
two Travelling Companions and said
il was a Pipe, If backed up by
enough Coin, so as to keep on dou-
bling. He wanted Bill and Bud to
put in $4,000 apiece and let him
go in and shoot up the Place, but
they were Leery and said that the
Suckers had already put up too
many Buildings and laid out more
Flower Beds than were needed.
They were cold around the Ankles
and devoid of Sporting Blood There
was Nothing Stirring and conse-
quently all of the Boys are back
home and living in comfortable Cir
cumstances.
These Examples have been cited
to prove that many a Chump who
thinks that the Breaks are against
him is really the favored and nam