The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1932-09-16
Fable of the
Hungry Fame
Seeker
g
By GEORGE AIDE
90 Bell svndicats.)-wNU Service.


u went fishing off Catalina Is
land, hoping that he might get
a Nibble from q Tuna. To those
who never have seen Tuna 1t
may be impaired that this Marine
Monster is Minnow two sizes small
er than a Submarine. 1t is fully
as long as a Freight Car and If do
mesticated, could be used for towing
Barges. The zap who rode back and
forth across the dancing Waves, troll
ling an attractive Bait and begging
the Fish to give him some Trade, was
playing in rare Luck, because he new
er got a Strike. If he had, the poor
Woofus would not have remained in
the Boat.
On another Occasion a cheerful I'M
beetle polished up dinky Rifle such
the Merry Makers at COney Island
use in shooting at sheet-iron Ducks
and other movable Targets. He put
on a Boy Scout Uniform and went out
into the Hills, hoping that he could
scare up a Grizzly Bear. All day he
scrambled around, kicking at the Un-
derbrush and making Noises which
were meant to insult the Bear and in
duce him to come out and put up a
Battle. The Guardian Angels who fly
over Cars driven by Women and pro-
tect the Patriot who buys Fireworks
must have been on the Job that Day
because the dauntleSs Nimrod never
saw Hide or Hair of Grizzly. That
is why he lived to get back home and
eat a hearty Supper.
1t happened that Young Man who
thought he was, whereas he really
wasn't, came into more sweet Cur
rency than you could shovel with a
Scoop Shovel in Three Months. One
Night, in select Club, which has
since been padlocked no less than
three times, he found himself gazing
at hypnotic Brunette even as an
English Sparrow might gaze at the
beautiful but deadly Cobra.
He never before had seen so much
Brunette packed into so few Clothes
and he knew that Life would not mean
anything to him unless he could be
near her, to inhale the 80 or 40 kinds
of Perfumery she was using and have
all the other Johns chewing their
Wrist Watches in Envy.
This one made Pola Negri look like
a Clergyman's Daughter. You could
hear the Current cracking.
The yearling Child of Fortune tried
to semaphore few Signals to the
dusky Queen and get her interested
but she had no Line on the Bank Roll
wore with the Dinner Jacket, so she
threw him about 1900 Feet into the
Air and rode away into the Night
with a big Sausage Man from the
West.
For several Days the Sailors on his
Yacht had to watch him to keep him
from going overheard with the Anchor
in his Arms. which would have been
his only chance of sinking. He
thought that he had been given a
Dirty Deal, whereas he should have
been singing at the Top of his Voice.
for if little Rita Pozeta, the undulat.
ing Vamp, had taken a real Fancy to
him, it would have cost him over
100000.
Poor Brakes Break Many Man.
Two years ago a prominent Member
of the Chamber of Commerce of Okla
homa City, OKLA, was in Europe TAX
ing his first real Rest since the Syn
dictate in which he was interested
struck the Gusher. He watched the
wheel at Monte Carlo and, being quick
at Figures and able to see right
through any Proposition on the Jump,
he felt almost sure that it would be
a Cinch to win all the deprecated
Currency and close the Dump
He sat up for two Nights and wore
out two Pencils doping a System
which could not lose. He explained
the Modus Operandi to his two Trav-
cling Companions and said it was a
Pipe, If backed up by enough Coin, so
as to keep on doubling. He wanted
Bill and Bud to put in $4,000 apiece
and let him go in and shoot up the
Place, but they were Leery ana said
that the Suckers had already put up
too many Buildings and laid out more
Flower Beds than were needed. They
were cold around the Ankles and de
void of Sporting Blood. There was
Nothing Stirring and consequently all
of the Boys are back home and living
in comfortable Circumstances.
These Examples have been cited to
prove that many a Chump who thinks
that the Breaks are against him is
really the favored and pampered Child
of Destiny. Herbert ]. Prangle, of
whom we are compelled to write, was
not so fortunate. He went fishing and
the Tuna got him. While searching
for the Grizzly he had the Tough Luck
to find one. When he smiled at the