The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1932-02-08

any one De called the =
by thousands of attractive m
answer is, ask the A. E. F. !
real reason they were glad
to do so was that | brought
them a bit of home and
made them laugh. l think
humor is important in love, but as
a take off" for flight into the
real realm Of romance it is not so
good.
1 was giving anywhere from
three to nine shows day and
leaping from front to front with
all the speed of an antelope and
just about as much sex appeal.
Love at first sight is possible,
but I do think the victims need
time to take a good look at each
other, and I'll bet there are very
few ex-service men who could tell
you what color my eyes are.
I was in love with the war and
every man in it. And if you di-
vide your affections between two
or three million men you finish
up as a good scout, but your or
ange blossoms are bachelor but
tons!
Some one said that love and war
go hand in hand, and I saw plenty
OF proof that this is true, but my
hands were too busy waving hello!
and good-byl to establish any real
contact
CERTAINLY when people are
~ facing death it is pretty nat
ural to look around for what may
be the last love. That accounts
for the many catch-as-c
marriages, love affairs and other
acts Of bravery while on foreign
soil" which took place in that
certain war.
Men were attracted to women
under shell fire and bombs that
they wouldn't take to the annual
fireman's picnic in their own
home town. Women showered
their attention, sympathy, pho
tographs, affections and love
letters on men that they wouldn't
write a postcard to when the bar
rage of emotionalism was silenced
and the uniform put away in a
bevy of moth balls.
The nurse who may have been
called the plainest girl in town
back home was a combination
Greta Carlo, Peggy Joyce and
Joan of Arc to the guy whose
temperature she took when in
doubt, and the weak, shell
shattered doughboy with a beard
like a privet hedge was Clark
Gable to the girl who had won a
beauty prize few months before
she gave up cars, furs, jewels, and
comfort for nurses uniform,
medical instruments, bandageS
and the right to sit down!
I SAW all these wonders of the
Il World war and was frankly
envious, but my job was to say,
Down with sentiment and on
with the warl"
My inclination was to sing love
songs or ballads about the old
home, but I sang 1--WE Don't Want
the Bacon, All We Want Is
Piece of the Rhine!" I would
have liked to recite sentimental
poems, but I told stories filled
with all the good old army pro-
family, turned cartwheels and
screamed myself hoarse trying to
make the men answer mol"
when I attacked with Are we
downhearted?"
For me it was a great war, and
the happieSt days of my life we're
spent in it. The fact that I
didn't come out of it with a mar
riage license never surprised or
depressed mel had a swell col
lection of German helmets!
The fact that I waited twelve
years after it was over before
marrying is easily explained. My
mother and I had such a good
time. She existed for me, and I
wouldn't give up a sure thing for
an uncertainty. I once said years
ago and I still say,.it is not really
so difficult to get some one to live
with you, but try and find one
who will live for you'll
y n
no I regret waiting until the
~ other side of 10 before say
ing 1, Elsie, take you, Gilbert, etc?
Well, as they say over the radio,
tune in tomorrow and I will tell
all. Oh, yeah! Incidentally,
there will be no more war stuff
in case you are thinking that it
is my unique subject.
Some one asked me if I was go
ing to the current war in Man
churia. I replied, No! When
both sides think that to die for
their country gives them a ring
side seat in heaven, why should
I go out there and sing Where
Do We Go From Here?" They
obviously don't care.
Besides, I'm married now, why