The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1932-02-08
TALKING
ITOvER
BY JOE WILLIAMS

AXE PLACID, N. Y, Feb. g.
IL The serpentine mile-and half
bobrun here will formally open
Olympic competition Tuesday with
the junior size, or two men sleds,
whizzing through the icy passes.
That the sleds carried human
cargo was surprise to the experts
who had watched an interesting
scientific demonstration Sunday aft
ernoon in which one of the adult
sized, or four-men sleds, was sent
down the run unencumbered by
man, woman or beast.
The demonstration proved to be a COM
plete triumph for the machineaRe in as
mucn as the sled took all the peTiious
Turns ,ng sc on high and a. great speed. finish
sweat.
An ,enterprisinR syndicate publisher met
about to close With IT to do bY-line stories
on me event for the remainder of the meet
steel runners were Of scandinaya 1nS maze lne
sentation.
The performance of the uninha5itsted
sled has led to interesting suggestions and
plan Is now being considered 20 nut
clothing store dummies on skis and send
mem down the shutes instead of adhering
humans.
T., The proponents of this plan argue that
II the human mind Is not necessary n bch-
running u can be, and yerv likely is.
positive hindrance in ski humping. a form
Of frost-bitte7 hara kiri that consists OF
bed Stats with the "t odd SGhSs az that r YOU
WI land either on your neck or in some
There appears to be some doubt as 10
adopted because the left wing element Of
clothing store dummies. Tnev say that
to use them instead of humans in the ski
the mentality OF the dummies. who are
harmless sort of persons and always vote
the straight Tammany ticket.
XXTHAT to use as substitutes for
w speed skaters is a problem
that up to now has baffled those
who hold that the interests of in
ternational anlity and good will can
best be served by eliminating en-
tirely the human element, this be-
ing the big, spiritual motivation be-
hind the idea.
You can not take pair of naked skates
ana put them on the ice and expect to
ant is open to question. In the races here
SO lar there has been little action. In
iiact' there was SO little action in one of
tossed out of the ring for not trying. thus
leading to the suspicion that Pete Reilly
What to do about curriers' also presents
annoying difficulties. Your grim faced
correspondent. enduring the fortunes OF
has previously described the narrowing
II ~ roe1oct@ a. -,or,r 80 49, +bo or1,,
winter sport that adds ANYTHING 20 the
higher forms of civilization. the only sport
E ea keet oTn the cs With the aea t6
the rink. using body English and Pig Latin
the SPORT. Well. they call 1t sport
VXTHEN one of the tea kettles
w is kicked off a couple of guys
get in front of it with brooms and
sweep the alley out. They station
themselves at opposite angles from
the kettle and follow it's dawdling
progress down the floor, increasing
or decreasing the broom action to
fit the demands of the situation.
When YOU can get strong men to 90 out
for public sweeping exhibitions With
brooms / think 1t is a fine thing for the
country. II connotes Democratic piTit
work out of curling may come the
answer to the divorce problem a wife
with a gifted broom sweeper should have
no cause for complaint.
I am not sure whether the same tactics
applied to baseball would nelp baserunning.
/ have in mind specifically Shantv Hogan
of the Giants who is no ,Wycoh On the
paths. Whether it would help to import
a couple of Canadian broom sweeperS to
get him around in faster time is debatahle.
In his case I think the only answer rs
racing motor car or an enraged bull with
a determined sense of direction.
But whatever comes of the campaign to
eliminate the human and conduct all fu-
ture OLYMPIC tests on a mechanical basis
thereby assuring minimum of beefing, it
has been definitely proved that the idea
is feasible And being feasible. naturally.
nothing will ever be done about it.