Evening star., 1932-06-19

with about 100 yards OF Noodles. To the
north a Pyramid of Mashed Potatoes To the
East stingy -bushel of Cottage Cheese
short distance South a Huddle Of Sody
Biscuit and enough Gravy to float Skiff
Jellies, Jams, Cukes Radishes ETC. to complete
the Glorious Ensemble. Pie for Dessert but
no one ever called it Dessert. 1t was
wedge-not a narrow Triangle.
What Of the Afternoon? The digging of
Worms. Two dried-up Sunfsh strung on
Willow Twig. A game Of Two-Old-C Light
Refreshments consisting of Green Apples. Much
spashing at the ole Swimmin' Hole and Ernest
finds his Hickory Shirt tied into Hard Knot.
ride on the Dray owned by Art Hemming-
way. Out to the Slaughter House to see Elmer
Fry soak Heifer on the Bean with Sledge.
1t Is toward SundoWn and Our Hero is
heading for the Parental Dump. Across from
the Lutheran Church is c. A. R. Hall, with
the Flag of our Country draping the Doorway
Ernest stops and regards with Affection, what
a certain kind of Wind-Bag calls Old Glory
He begins to surge beneath the Hickory Shirt.
He feels an Apostrophe coming on.
This is not what he said but what he
would have said if he could have given Voice
to the Patriotism yelling up from the region
of the undigested Green Apples and engulfng
his very Soul:
'Oh, starry Emblem, you are the Works!
What Privilege to be born beneath thy
ample Folds! How fortunate 1 am to find
myself in a Land of Plenty, where Men are
every Heart beats true to the Red, White and
Blue! Oh GoSh!'
After which he wended his way through the
Dusk toward his Cornmeal Mush and Milk
| EFT us now initiate the Talkies and make a
long Jump from one Scene to another.
It is 1892. Once more we discover Ernest
Padgett. only now he is past so and wears
q hnrk C,,if yarif1 allo vYSn
Smellem on what is left of his Hair, so the
Rounders call him Ernie. The older they get
in Our Set, the more juvenile the Titles.
Ernie works the rusty Hinges a couple Of
times and then crawls off his s125 Box Mat
tress and teeters on a 5000 Bokhara Rug.
The old Dogs are not all there. He Is a
little hurty in the Cams.
Just twenty Years ago Board of High
Brows compiled a new Standard Dictionary.
1t has 2750 Pages of Words and an average
OF 80 Words to the Page, or a Grand Total
OF 100000 but even all of these Words would
not suffice to describe the Pajamas worn by
Mr.. Padgett, commonly known at his Clubs
as Ernie the Sport He looks out of the Win
dow at Architecture worth a few Billions and
a famous Park and says, 20, Shucks!" Same
old Vista.
An imported Menial, with Face like a
Welsh Rabbit that has settled down and got
to collaborate on the Mental Effort required
to select Shirt, Socks, Tie and Handkerchief
from the vast Assortment. Yes this Is the
same Ernest Padgett. These things happen
in the Home Of Opportunity. Most of the
Male Adults you see going into Beauty Parlors
were brought up in the Sticks and could tell
all about Stone Bruises Shoveng Snow and
sleeping Three in a Bed.
Ernie had Berries in a crystal bowl sur
rounded by Ice but the special Blend Of
Coffee wasn't hot enough to suit His Majesty
and the toasted Kidneys were overdone, SO
he howled like Siberian Wolf and said he
couldn't get no service nohow.
II he barked at the Chauffeur it was because
he felt Inundated to be riding around in a
$4,000 Six when he was entitled to $4,000
Eight. Life vas Just one Hardship after
anothfe.
He sat at a glass-top Desk the size Of q
Billiard Table and dictated crouch Letters to
Miss Fortescue, with Nose-Glasses, who had
been trained to pamper him as if he wefe<.
pet SesaEham. Getting in to see this Bird vas
Tpufb