The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1932-03-18

ings, dough prize fighting and horrible crimes"
meant hardships and toll for the cub reporter.
He "hot-footed" it around for news, humping
into all sorts of hard and trying experiences. In
the COS barrooms were popular community CEN
ters and crimes were jobs for reporters to solve.
Still in the field of journalism, there are the
Fossils-old newspaper men who as boys en-
gagged in amateur journalism and are proud of
their boyish efforts. And although such society
has not yet been formed, any newspaper man will
tell you that there's a field for an organization
to be known as the Association of Those Who
Used to Be Newspaper Men Themselves.
Are you radio DX-er? Do you sit up late at
night getting" stations over your radio
either shore wave or long wave? Then you can
be initiated into the Royal Order of Hard-Boiled
Owls with Rubber Ears with the bowling cere-
monies which mark such an initiation.
Do you enjoy breaking the ice in river, lake
or pond and taking bath there matter what
the weather may be? The Polar Bear club wants
to hear from you if you do Do you ever subber
frub hay feber? (Ker-chooD The Hay Fever
association will be glad to send you a member
ship application blank.
Do you have unlimited faith in the woodchuck
as an accurate weather prophet? So do the
members of the Slumbering Ground Hog lodge,
located at Quarryville, Pa Organized by George
W. Hensel, Jr., who is alternating Governor, this
lodge has for it's chief aim to extol the virtues
telligence of higher order than that Of any
other animal from the tick of the blackberry
TO the elephant in the jungle" and they take
oath to defend him, his family and his reputa-
ton. and to guard him he slumbers.'
It's not easy to get into this lodge for you
have to be elected by the seven patriarchs after
seven years Of observation by the Defender of
the Faith the Chief Eye Rubber, the Patriarch de
Luxe. the Bondless Treasurer and other officers.
But you are elected. you can join in the
annual ceremony on February 2 around the
groundhog's hole.
A part Of that ceremony is TO chant the fol-
lowing poem. written by Herman E. Hoch, Off
cial poet Of the lodge. 1t goes as follows:
Today the ground hog from his lair
Comes forth to seek a change Of air
And about the weather
He shifts the breeze and looks around,
He the sky and then the ground
And put1 the facts together.
He mortar board gown,
He doesn't even live in town,
And never went TO college.
Was sent away school
And taught to live by rote rule
Or crammed with useless knowledge.
He knows IL fog obscures the
The course of winter has been run
And spring will be here.
But IL the should shine today
Springtime Is full six weeks away.
Nor will appear.
Perhaps sometime the day may be
When folks just wise he,
But then, Alas! Alack!
How could ever treat ills
Or take the proper liver pills
Without almanac?
Now straishtway to his dwelling go.
And tossing high your best chapeau,
Give three resounding cheers,
And let the public understand
His like is not in all the land,
Nor has it been for years.
If you believe that there's more than name
for the colored boys who look after your comfort
on the pullman cars. then you should join the
Society for the Prevention of Calling Sleeping
Car Porters George" Organized by George W.
Duany, Jr., Chicago banker, the society now
has thousands of members all over the country;
George washington and George Dewey are their
patron saints: George AIDE is the poet laureate;
George NJ Cohan. the official song writer;
George William Cardinal Mundelein. the chap
lain; Georges Clemenceau was French charge
daffaires; and George ("Babe") Ruth is sergeant
at arms.
All of the foregoing organizations to which
almost anyone might possibly belong. But there
are also others whose membership is necessarily
rather limited to the certain professions. For in
stance you'd have to be sailor in the United
States navy in order to belong to the Ancient,
Honorable and Mystic Order of Lapa Lapa, al
though there many landubbers who are
eminently fitted for membership. The only
qualification the prospective member must pos
sess is that he humbly acknowledge that he is
poor fish. But only sailors know how TO initiate
candidates properly for it two sailors who
founded the organization at Shanghai China. in
1927. and sailors are keeping the order going.
You couldn't belong TO the Quiet Birdmen I'M
less you were World war aviator nor TO the
Caterpillar club unless you were an aviator who
had to make an emergency parachute jump to
save your life, and you would be barred from
membership In the Whosit club unless you w.re
New York bond salesman engaged in selling
municipal bonds
The list Of these interesting organizations
could be extended indefinitely were it not for
the fact that the author of this article has JUS
received notice of a meeting of those interested
In forming Society for the Prevention of Form
ing More Societies and he feels obligated t.
leave at once to attend the meeting
&C BY Western Newspaper uuion-)