Evening star., 1932-04-10

get it; that's the bird I intend t.
marry, but want to be sure first. All
here comes Rollo Franklin Rosebud
he thinks he's located the claim
Maybe it will be him-but amt sure.
| Rollo: Please, miss, let me have {
strawberry sundae."
Calamity Jane: Think you've go
your claim staked out2"
Rollo: 'I really believe so, miss. bu
! a lot of tough fellows are trying tC
jump it. Heavensl Here come two o.
them now. Big Shot AL. my wicked
uncle, and his pal, One String Ritchie
Smith and Ritchie entered, Smith
Rolio 1to SMITH: "uncle Alfred
what are you doing here? I thought
you finished with Campaign Gulct
four years ago"
Smith: Never you mind me, boy
I've got an eye on you and on that
claim down the gulch, too. (To Ca
| lamity) Miss, give me vanilla sody
water with two straws, one for me anc
one for me pal, One String Ritchie.'
Alfalfa Bill Murray, in Indiar
costume; Speaker Jack Garner, ir
! cowboy regalia, and Newton D. Baker
carrying long rifle, entered anc
joined the group threatening Roose-
buds claim. Rollo Franklin Rosebud
defied the crowd. Smith asked them
in turn why they don't do something
to head of Rosebud but they all hac
good reasons for hanging back. Ritchie
said he was willing enough. but while
he had been wandering around pros
pecting for the last dozen years, he
always came back 30 Maryland with
just l6 delegates,
Walls for Romance.
Rollo finally left to keep an eye on
his claim, bidding Calamity Jane re-
member June and June brides. Smith
and the rest follow him out and Ca
lamity Jane exclaimed sorrowfully:
There they gol MY romances get
me in such trouble They'll oil dry
gulch each other on the way to the
claim, or claw themselves to death
fighting for it-and then some big
mining engineer will come in and
take it,
The diplomats were satarized in the
Stimson Select Finishing School, dis
closing Secretary Stimson putting MS
pupils through their lessons.
Nov, boys" he addressed them, put
down your teacups and your cookies
Five o'clock is time enough for that
Already laddies, let's 60"
both hands up as signal for cheer,
his pupils gave their yell:
"Hee, haw, Margery Daw,
Diplomats in the raw, raw, raw"
Three big cheers for Henry l.,
But our real boss We cannot tell
continued one.
"Siss, boom, bah and Xxi, VI, Y," his
fellow DlIDilS chOruSed
We're being taught to say Aye, aye
aye"
Boys, that's fine" said Stimson
"the sooner you learn to say Yes, yes,
yes in this administration the farther
you will go, but diplomat doesn't say
Yes and he doesn't say No
Now. Montmorency Kraut, what
about the fifth reservation to the pro-
tocol of adherence to the Permanent
Court of International Justice?"
Montmorency: That's why they're
roamin' in the gloamin' Could I in
terest you in some neckties?"
Praises Senseless Reply.
Stimson: "Ah, my brilliant bucko
what a gift you will be to diplomacy
You are q blacksmith at heart. Go out
and beat some plowshares into swords
Cheerio. Now then, Enrico Gorgonzola
step up"
Enrico: "Aye, aye, sir"
Stimson: Can you possibly imagine
why we have American troops in
Shanghai"
Enrico: IF you are speaking to me
sir, I'd say we are trying to make the
laundry vote safe for Hoover"
Stimson Indignantly "Enrico, nc
| dirty linen will be washed here"
Enrico: We'll, sir, you see I'm just
a Chink off the old block"
With the command to disarm, the
diplomats flung down their teacups and
cookies with crash.
The scene shifted to the attic of the
Republican National Committee, high
over the roofs Of Washington, as an an
nouncer said:
"Mr. Hoover has been compared to
Washington and Lincoln. Tonight the
Gridiron Club will show you the historic
characters whom the President really
| resembles"
Thereupon three incarnations, SYM
bolized by backstage bust, represented
/ Mr.. Hoover as Daniel Boone, Trader
stage bust appeared wearing a loco
motive drivers hat, the chorus sang
Casey Jones'" revised thus:
NOuIc dA yOu NOVcioB II you "duI W
hear.
The truth about a great engineer.
Herbert Hoover was the engineers
name,
And a-diggin' in the ground is how he
won his fame.
He's diggin' now as he never dug before,
He's diggin' now at the White House
door.
He turns to Mr.. Watson and the
G. o. P.
And shouts All aboard for 1882
Diggin' in the White House.
Casey Jones.
How he loves the G. o. P!
Casey Jones, diggin' m the White
House,
And he hopes that he'll be digg1n' there
in thirty-three!"
Other Scenes Recorded.
Other scenes recorded the changed
control in the House, with the eclipse
of the former Republican leaders,
Bertrand Smell and John @. Tilson, and
the emergence of Representative La
Guardia the politically pursued power
trust, in black crepe, demonstrating
that Mourning Becomes Electric"
furious ShadoW-bOxtng by Democrat
who explained that he was aiming at
the tariff, knew he was not hitting any
thing, but felt obliged to go through the
motions every four years. Diogenes
strolled in, still on his famous hunt, and
when asked If he sought anybody at the
Gridiron banquet, replied, mo, I'm just
passing through" Aladdin rubbed his
magic lamp, produced stream of coins
and explained, I'm Sheriff Farley of
New York. Amt it wonderful trick?"
Toward the end of the dinner Presi-
dent Hoover, as tradition decreed, was
called upon to speak, but under the
Gridiron rule that reporters are never
present" his words, and those of Sena-
tor James Hamilton Lewis of Illinois,
the only other speaker of the evening,
are not of record.
The Gridiron Club turned aside from
its lighter moods to pay tribute to two
-