The Washington times., 1932-05-20
Another Call

The phone rang. He pick
Another Call
Hello" he cried. Yes, Mr..
Rogers. Just a moment"
He turned to me.
Rogers is on the phone
now" he stated. Now you can
find out for yourself what he
wants"
There's the ideal secretary
for you, I picked up my phone.
Eyes, Buddy" I chirped.
Something on your mind?"
Mr.. Rogers charming voice
floated back.
Nothing on my mind, Mark"
he returned. You called me.
What did you want?"
I wrinkled my brow. Being
one of the better brow-wrinklerS,
I presented a very pretty pic
ture.
"Guess there must be some
mistake, Buddy" I assured him.
81 didn't call you. Must have
been a mistake in the message.
See you tonight, kid. So long"
I hung up and turned to my
alleged secretary.
"I don't get that, Mr.. Bur-
bridge" I said. Il didn't
call"
The phone rang again. This
time it was Paul Calico, a
gentle and charming youth
whom I have known for many
years. Paul, too, asked me
whab wanted when I phoned
him. 1 gave him the same
reply as I had given Mr.. Rogers.
And 1 had no sooner hung up
than Miss Lupe Velez was on
the wire. BY this time I was
getting wise.
Kidding Mr.. Mark
"I know what you're going
to tell me, Miss Velez," said
"You're going to tell me that I
phoned and left message to
call me. Well. didn't. Some
body's kidding both OF us.
Toodle-oodles."
"Toodle-oodles" being a Mex.
can word that means "So-lone,
Miss Velez hung up immediate
". And I turned to my secre-
tary. .a
young man." I cried, the
annoyers are at work again"
He nodded wisely. Because he
knew exactly what meant. :.
"I haven't been bothered by
what I call "the annoyers" Tor
the past three years. 1t was
Just about that length of time
ago that I went through a ter
rible siege. And I shiver when
I think about it.
The annoyers might be almost
anyone. They might be people
I never saw. Probably the lat
ter. But what they can do to
you is a shame.
Out of a clear sky, some three
years ago. things began to ar
rive in my office. But the
strangest things. I'd arrive in
my office in the morning and
find a complete course in scien-
tific farming. A letter that &C
companied it told me to send
$40 Immediately, and to for
ward the balance of $110 within
30 days. I had signed a cou-
pom, it seemed. that would ad-
vance me no end.
Gets the Works
Then I'd get a complete set Of
Shakespeare's works, bound in
leather. "at the ridiculouSly low
price of $45.95," Once again they
thanked me for my order and
told me I had signed coupon.
This would be followed by spe-
cial coffee percolator that sold
at $3.87 or a marvellous "radium-
ized" braSsiere for $6.95 that
would do wonders for me in no
time.
don't have to tell you, I sup
pose, that had ordered none of
these things. Some Of the an
noyers had simply picked me as
a target and were signing my
name to any coupon they came
upon.
stood the thing as long as
could, out I reached the limit of
my endurance one afternoon
when three employees of the pos
tai department lugged q huge
threShing machine into my Of
flee. It so happened that I had
no more use for a threShing ma
chine than I had for a set of
hives. So I determined that
enough was enough. / notified
the postal authorities, turned
over the signed set of coupons
that were returned to me by
the various companies and print
ed a note in my column to the
effect that the police were on
the trail of the annoyers.
Since then have had no