davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Alaskan., 1932-04-22
A Funny Joke from Juneau

tention; a conclusion; held in abeyance for consideration or debate; a choice between alter natives; as the Issues of the day; a dead issue. "Thus was raised a simple issue of law tC oe decided by the court" or the voters.
 The Juneau Empire denies the primary law repeal is ar issue but it's candidates are strangely silent on the subject There has been effort to repeal the law; it's leading candidate declares it has failed of its purpose and urges return to tho convention system; the Peters burg convention of the Demo crats incorporated the plank ir it's platform advocating repeal of the primary law. It is an is sue regardless of all the denials made by the political mentor, on the Empire, of the demigods ol Alaska.
The Alaskan., 1932-04-22
School Suffer When Family Abdicates

Publication" by the family and the church of their educa- tional responsibilities has re- suited in a younger generation with bad manners and careless dress and habits, according to pr. Nicholas Murray Butler, president of Columbia Univer- sity.
 Dr. Butler, in his annual re- port, also criticized youths lack of interest in political affairs, for which he blamed the coun- try's political parties.
 Dr. Butler praised the univer- sity'S new athletic policy as one intended to make sports "an in:- portant and legitimate part of academic life and work" as op- posed to the policy based on gate receipts.
 Youths bad manners, Butler stated are caused by "unconcern for standards of excellence. overconcern for the quick satis- faction of ones own immediate
The Alaskan., 1932-04-22

Country Constable: Pardon miss, but swimming is not al- lowed in this lake"
 City Flapper: Why didn't you tell me before undressed?
 Constable: Well, there ain't nc law against undressin'."
 The man was in the hospital after his first serious attempt to knock a train off the tracks.
 "I fear I can be of very little assistance to you," he was com fortably assured by the doctor, "I'm a veterinary surgeon"
 "Ah," exclaimed the victim. you're just the man for my case. I was a jackass for att tempting to cross the track ahead of that train"
The Alaskan., 1932-04-22

Judge Jennings of the District
 Court for the First Division
 several years ago rendered 3
 decision in case before his
 court. When we lose word con-
 tinuity we turn back to this
 master piece of sarcasm.
 "The affidavit is so puerile, it ] is so assinine, it is so farfetched, that really it fails of it's purpose, To say that the Judge of a
 court because he is a friend of the Governor of the Territory
 because he belongs to, the same political party that the Govern
 O. of the Territory belongs to,
 cannot fairly decide a case
 which does not mean one cent to that Governor-a suit, too, brought against a person who
 will not have to pay personally
 one cent if the case is decided against minis, to my mind, so ridiculous, so absurd, so much the mark of those whose mental horizon is limited and whose moral bankruptcy is imminent. and the testimony adduced here in explanation thereof is so plainly the mark of a paranoic. filled to overf1owing with his selfsatisfied sufficiency, and of brain of mush and a heart of crook,a disordered fancy and a twisted tongue, that it really merits very little consideration. That this affidavit was intended as an insult to the Judge of this court I have not the slightest doubt in the world; but speak ing of insults; the question as to whether an insult is conveyed depends as much upon the character and standing of the would be insulter as it does upon the language employed. John Randolph of Roanoke said, "A gentleman will not insult me, and no other can" It is perfect ly obvious that a knave cannot really insult an honest man. he may irritate him and annoy him, but he cannot insult any, one. A weakling and an idiot with no moral backbone and
The Alaskan., 1932-04-22

personal conveniences and de- sires, and the antiphilosophies and psuedo-pyschologies which are so widely diffused just now. " These factors, he said, are hay ing "deplorable" effects Or training.
 "The virtually complete abdi-- cation of the family as a pri- mary and controlling factor in education, together with the substantial collapse of the edu- cational influence of the Pro testant Churches, have combin- Ied to put upon the school a burden which it cannot bear and should not be asked to bear," nc went on.
 "The truth is that the school draws upon itself criticism not so much by reason of what it fails to offer or accomplish in it's own proper sphere, but by req son of it's inability and incapa- city to do the work of the school, the family and the church cont bined."
The Alaskan., 1932-04-22
The voice of the Demofeds of

The voice of the Demofeds of Juneau in an editorial says:
 "Voters ought not to permit politicians to fool them into thinking the primary election law is an issue in the present campaign. It is not so in the least, and won't become such. < The voters of Juneau, men and women, are not so silly as to be affected at all by hysterical screeching about non-issues, and we do not believe those of other towns will be. Alaska voters are not as foolish as some agitators seem to believe them to be-"
 The only truthful part of the above statement is Alaska voters are not so foolish as some agitators believe them to be-"
 The definition of tissue" is as follows:
 A matter of which the results is to be decided; that which is to be determined by trial or con-
The Alaskan., 1932-04-22

Under date of February 9th, the Cordova Daily Times pub fishes the following:
 "The president then introduc- ed Senator A. J. Dimond who compared the working of the primary system and the conven- tion system in nominating can- didates. One of the ardent supporters of the primary at its inception, he believes is not the reform it's advicates had hoped for, and favors the convention system as one which more near !! ly fulfiills the American ideal of party government"
 The advocates of the abolish ment of the party primary sys- tenn now appreciate the fac. that it was a tactical error in trying to foist upon the Terri tory the old convention system
 This was fought out on the con- vention floor in Petersburg when the democrats held their con- vention here. The reaction of the
 women and Che pioneers of the
 north was very unfavorable tc
 the effort to return to the old
 system which permitted sale ot
The Alaskan., 1932-04-22
Washington News Letter
 By Will A. Steel
INDIAN BUREAU
 HEADING COMING NORTH

Dr. W. Carson Ryan, IT,, exc cutive assistant of Indian Af~ fairs, and David E. Thomas, Chief Clerk in the office of the Alaska division, expect to leave Washington in a few days and sail from Seattle on the steamer Yukon, April B, to go to the Juneau headquarters of Indian Affairs, to consult about various pending matters. MT. Thomas will likely extend his trip to the westward. Various suggestions are under consideration by the Bureau, one of which is opposed by the Nome Chamber of Com merce. They have wired the Delegate protesting against a change that would replace six district superintendents Of school and replacing them with three travelling inspectors. The appointment of a permanent Chief of the Alaska division is under consideration, but will probably not be made until after Dr. Ryan's return from the north.
The Alaskan., 1932-04-22
Dimond Favors Boss-Ruled System

proxies like hogs and cattle and gave control of conventions to a small coterie of men who held star chamber conferences and force upon the electorate can- didates not in sympathy or harmony with the public.
 The primary law became a failure only when the federal demogang of Juneau found that they could no longer control the primary elections by swinging from one party to another in the spring and then back to their own party in the general cleo tions. The waning of power Of the political highbinders forced them to adopt tactics which nsure retention of that power hence the effort to force aboli- tion of the primary law by elec- tion of men so plec,cd. The Ju- neau candidates for the legisla : ture have been painfully silent on this subject despite the fact that their leaders are now deny ing any desire or effort to repeal the law. By their works shall ye judge them"
The Alaskan., 1932-04-22
OPPOSE SALES TAX

The Ketchikan Chamber Of Commerce has passed resolu- tions, and forwarded them to officials in Washington, protest ing against sales tax or any additional burden on canned salmon. This organization, how ever, does favor placing a duty upon the importation of pulp and newsprint "at such a rate as will insure the early utiliza- tion of Alaska forests for the manufacture of paper and neWsprint."
The Alaskan., 1932-04-22
NOT so FUNNY AFTER ALL

A former Alaska fisherman writes to inquire whether ne can pay his own fare from Se- attle to Bristol Bay and to make the effort there to get employ ment as an independent fisher man without being placed under arrest. He seems to forget that men are not placed under arrest in Alaska for merely seeking employment.
 Editors Note-This man must have been reading the hearings on the Welch Bill.
The Alaskan., 1932-04-22
The Failure of the System

l Information from Washington is to the effect that Charles w.
 Hawkesworth, Acting Chief of
 the Indian Bureau activities in Alaska, will not be appointed permanently to the position
 Unsolicited, he had the endorse ment of every town and village where the Indian Bureau has leny activities. He has the un- qualified endorsement of a peo- pie who do not promiscuously express their friendship-such friendship must be worthy, sin cere and unrestricted.
 After many years of labor among the Indian races of Alas la, MT. Hawkesworth knows them intimately, collectively and individually. He knows their problems and has been kindly sympathetic in helping to secure their proper solution. He is en titled to the reward as Chief of t h e Departments efforts i n Alaska.
 The writer has had many years of contact with the acti- vities of the United States In- dian bureau. He declares that at TO time in the entire history of Russia was any bureau system in that country as rotten, as mis- managed, as full of graft, rape and virtually every crime in the calendar, as the United States Indian Bureau for the past quarter of a century. With each succeeding Commissioner of h. dian Affairs, the Indians and their friends view the future of these people with high hopes only to have them relentlesslv dashed to the earth. Today in the States the Indian Bureau filled with incompetents, misfits, characterless, servile creatures who seek only their paychecks without regard to the worthiness of the work for which they are engaged. Only a small minority are worth while; are honestly seeking to find the proper solu- tion to the Indian problem.
 This system is growing in Alaska. Already "They are never fired; nor do they resign; until they are dead" The system is filling up with incompetents whom the Acting Chief finds it l
The Alaskan., 1932-04-22
ALASKA DUCK SEASON

Senator Wolcott's Special Committee on Conservation of Wild Life Resources held ses- sions during three days of last week, at which over 100 sports men were present from various states in the East, South and West as far as Idaho. Various different opinions were express ed as to the shortage of wild ducks. Tn some sections the shortage does not seem to be pronounced and it is urged that the three months shooting sea- son be restored. In other sec tionS there has been a great
The Alaskan., 1932-04-22

impossible to remove. The sys- tenn is becoming the field where political obligations of politi- clan are paid-where their stink rebounds to the hurt of the Alaska citizens.
 There is only one solution to this problem-Out with the bu- reau of Indian Affairs. It is time that the Territory awaken cd to the fact that it is the duty and obligation of the Territory to educate every one of it's citi- zens, regardless of race and color. It is time that the politi - clans quit lodging the issue and face it like honest m en so that the Territory may benefit the sooner from the greater and more rapid education of these people.
 We do not make many prom ises and when we do, we usually make them to be kept. We make this one now: If the Indian Bu- reau system tends to the man. her of conduct of the States system, the Indians of Alaska will throw off that yoke by any means possible to assert the.r inherent independence and manhood. They will not allow the system to become the politi- cal burial ground of incompet- entS and miSf1ts. The sooner this is understood, the better will the Department get along with the Indians of Alaska.
The Alaskan., 1932-04-22
COMPETITION
 IN COD MARKETS

Those who are engaged in cod fishing along the Aleutian Is lands complain that they are unable to sell their catch at a profit. This is attributed to the low tariff on the fish and the fact that Japan floods the Pa cif1c coast markets at a price that the Alaska fishermen can- rot compete with.
The Alaskan., 1932-04-22
CIVIL SERVICE

In reply to a suggestion that a certain man might make very acceptable foreman of road work the Engineer Officer of the Alaska Road Commission writes that employees in that grade are now under civil ser vice and positions must neces- sarily be filled from the civil service register.
The Alaskan., 1932-04-22
A COMMUNICATION

April II, 1882 The Alaska Fisherman, MT. Louis F. Paul, Editor and Manager, Petersburg, Alaska. Gentlemen: Tn the issue of your pamphlet of April, 1882, Vol. 8, No. 12, at Page 13, you intimate that I am supporting and campaigning for Jack White in his candidacy for the position of Republican Ma tional Committeeman. That is not correct. While have nothing against MT. White, I have known ano have been friendly with MT Rasmuson ever since he was ir Yakutat, and I am personally supporting him for the above position.
 Yours very truly,
 (Signed) R. E. Robertson EDITORS NOTE-Our informa- !t;on from certain quarters indi cated that MT. Robertson hao written Jack Whites platform It was so published in The Fish erman. MT. Robertson states his position as to his support O. Republican National Committee. man. We make amends insofar las we stand corrected Ths Editor.
The Alaskan., 1932-04-22
The Judgement of the Court

with only a thimblefull of brains cannot insult any one, the only person such characters can in- suit are their interiors, and as there are no interiors there are none for them to insult. They themselves are at the bottom of the pit, and they cannot look below-self-satisfied paranoiacs, liars from pure love of the lie, canting hypocrites, attempting to cleanse their hands with in visible soap, defamers of men, slanderers of women, assassins Of character, sneaking, cowardly curs-what do they among de- cent men? Why such objects on the fair face of the earth? Their place is not on the earth but in the earth-in the privies of the earth. The station in life, in human affairs, of such men as that corresponds to the position which "the foul bird of Pata- gonia" is not the buzzard that feeds on the carrion-it is a smaller bird that perches on the back of the buzzard and by con- tinually pecking causes tn e buzzard to vomit forth the car rion that it has fed upon then hops down to the ground to eat the vomit which the buzzard has spewed from it's foul belly"
The Alaskan., 1932-04-22
CORDOVA POSTMASTER

The nomination of William J. Shepard as postmaster at Cor dova was sent to the Senate few days ago and will be prompt ly confirmed. A post office is likely soon to be established at Aniak, on the Kuskokwim river, with Thomas L. Johnson as Postmaster.
The Alaskan., 1932-04-22
Alaska's Spring Is Calling Me
 By James K. Little


 hear the honk of wild, glad geese, And scent the fragrant air; It seems as tho that springs announced, < The signs are everywhere. I view the things that heralds spring,
 They show Eternal care And seems to whisper Lakes and streams Commune with nature there" So must yield unto her voice Most recognized in Spring; a And hie away to rippling streams, And Gods most wonderous things. Therefore I'll take my old gold pan, And muSh out for some stream; And be enfolded in the arms,
 Of her that never weens- ( Her suckling children from her breasts;
 Or ever turns away The ones who seek the nourishment She gives both night and day. It may be tfro the moonlit trees,
 Or un-beam-tinted crags; Der towering pines above mountain streams, That swiftly creeps or drags.
The Alaskan., 1932-04-22

DAD: Look here, my dear. cont mind your sitting up late with that young man of yours, but I do object to him walking off with my morning papers!"
 Two little urchins stood with their noses pressed against a barber shop window.
 Gee, Mickey, look at that Cne!" said one, pointing to a barber yielding singeing taper: He's lookin' for 'er1 with a light!"
 ]. * * Beats the Milkman.-A local man has discovered a method of getting to work early each morning. He has made arrange ments with his daughter to call him when she comes in.-Ex- change.
The Alaskan., 1932-04-22

Eternal Vigilance is the price of liberty. The gods madden those designed for destruction.
Evening star., 1932-01-10
Crowd Cheers Lustily
AT Tragedy on Stage

VIENNA, AUSTRIA peasant lad
named Strobl Is dead, together with
one Of his friends, George Hagenaeuer,
as result OF an amazing accident IN
the theater of town called Lubno, In
Czeschoslovakia, near Brno.
Both boys were amateur performers
in 'Raub in der KobemeSSergasse, a
well known German play, which the
| toWnSpeople of Lubno had gathered IN
festive mood to see. Strobl, in the play,
Is jealous Of his friend Hagenaeuer, and
following dispute over his sweetheart,
stahs him. So, with the audience eager
ly watching, Stroll advanced for the
plays climax-which turned out to be
the climax-and end-of his own life
as we'll
He slipped on q bit OF carpet and
launched his knife toward his friend
body with accidental force. The knife
pierced Hagenauers heart. The su-
dience cheered wildly, congratulating
the performers on the realism OF their
acting.
Strobl knelt over his friend and, to
his horror. saw real blood squirting from
the wound. He shrieked Historically
the audience roared with applause. He
waved to them for silence-they
thought 1t was part of the play. In the
end the stage manager rushed out, to
find Hagenauer dead and Strobl pros
trate on his body. The audience
dumbfounded. screamed with agitation,
then was cleared out Of the theater.
When the doctors came they found
Strobl dead also-on his friends body
the victim of heart failure as result OF
the shock, according to the Prague
newspapers.
Evening star., 1932-01-10
New Type of Autogyro
Is Perfected i'm Russia

MOSCOW. U. S. s. R.-Soviet aviation
experts, after experimenting for three
years on autogyros, have at last sue
ceeded in developing q new type, which
stood the recent test flight successfully
here
Flying horizontally, the speed of this
Soviet autogyro can be so regulated as
to suit the aviator's wishes in flights
from 20 to so or more miles per hour. In
the recent test the machine landed on q
field 22-3o meters long and was easily
parachuted under large angles with
stopped motor from height of several
hundred meters
The new machine has a vertical pro-
peller, four horizontal rotors supported
on a vertical pillar under its fiselaQe:
1t requires a start of so meters to rise,
which is accomplished in four or five
seconds.
Soviet authorities, it was explained,
will use the new type autogyros to COM
bat agricultural pests, for research
flights, for mail and communication
purposes, as we'll as for sanitary work
and for taking photos
Evening star., 1932-01-10

ALWAYS ask a new acquaintance has children and
want to and how they being educated or
| they are married, how they getting along.
met the president Of big city bank, and
without persuasion began to tell about his boys
They successful that people sometimes ask him II there
some bringing There is mystery about
II just trust them"
He that when he elected president OF the bank
with the boys He said Il haven't reached
this position lot Of and to keep it going to be
Just get it. You boys help me or hurt
m great deal
have the reputation of being honest and clean and in
dustrious that will reflect credit
untruthul and gamble, II the
town that have who good
Pile will think there must be something with my
cessfuly that he is competent to handle
bank?"
interesting incidents Lincoln Stefens auto
biography his experience with New York police inspector
CRATER. StefenS helped expose him. The "
States evidence and denoted to the rank Of
to outlying district The rest of his life he
honest becoming finally of the most useful in the whole
department.
visited him years cap
tain If he was tempted to graft again
other StefenS with
what I've been through he exclaimed You
kids sit silent dinner nudge another
the buck the big boy always kind of
Of and then had him swallow lump burt
Pop it true this stuff they're all saying? It's all es m
And you ask me if I'd do it again?"
major portion OF human from kids
to make their fathers proud of them and fathers trying make
the kids think they K.
often wonder how manage to on
we'll as they do
(Copyrigh
Evening star., 1932-01-10

mistake to think 1t is SO important that
nothing else matters.
This Fall a proud father introduced
his 5-year-old son to the kindergarten
teachers with an ultimatum. Here is a
member OF the class of 1948 at Blank
University. He'll graduate Just 23 wears
after his dad. Give him a good start"
Teachers Are Eager.
Now the kindergarten teachers were
more than eager and more than ade-
quately prepared "to give him a good
start" but they were not prepared TO
set the goal SO definitely. This father
needs help In realizing that he cam
not measure his sons future in terms
Of his own record. Sometimes it is a
brother or a sister to whom a child is
expected to "live up"
II there is one thing which the nsv-
biologists out of their experience with
tests and with children can pass ON to
parents it is this-let them be them
selves. Testing does not seek to make
all children conform to certain stand
ards, or TO pigeonhole them in certain
categories. Its purpose is rather 10 And
av,1 f4ofar tha .Nta IL
Evening star., 1932-01-10
Germans Mark Birthday
Of American Railroad

BERLIN, Germany.-Germany re-
Gently observed the Tooth anniversary
Of an American railroad in Pennsyl-
vania. Reason: The Tamaqua-P Port
Clinton Railroad along the Schuylkill
Canal in Pennsylvania was built 100
years ago by the great German econ
omist, Friedrich List, who at that time
was an exile in Pennsylvania from his
native land.
Plans on which the present German
railway system was built up subse-
quently were conceived by Herr List
while an exile In the United States.
The TamaquaPort Clinton road,
which covers only % miles, was con-
structed to serve the coal mines in what
List once called Pennsylvania blue
mountains In 1888, in the midst OF
the wilderness Of the blue mountains"
two years after the opening of the
American line. List, dreaming Of Ger
man railroad system, published his
treatise, Concerning Saxon Railroad
System as the Nucleus of a General
German Railroad System" This was
misunderstood and regarded as futile In
Germany at the time, and only 30 years
later most of the lines which he had
planned for Germany had been built.
Evening star., 1932-01-10
Royalty Cuts Pay
to Balance Budget

STOCKHOLM, Sweden.-King Gus
taf and Crown Prince Gustaf Adolf OF
Sweden have announced their intention
to help balance the budget for the
year 1923 by reducing their lndiVid-
ual household budgets by $4,000 crowns.
approximately $4,000. King Gustat
will slice $4,000 crowns from his al
lowance, while the crown prince Will
trim $4,000 from his, which Is smaller
than that of the Kings.
InaSmuch as the Swedish royal fam
lily is not particularly wealthy in Its
own right and has always given its
surplus wealth to charitable and cul-
tural enterprises in Sweden, the re-
duction In income viii really entail q
sacrifice on its part.
The total expenditure of the Swedish
state for maintenance OF its royalty
in the budget year 193o-31 was 1,842,-
900 crowns, or about $500, 900. This
includes maintenance Of Swedens large
royal palace in Stockholm; only small
part of it goes for royal spending
money.