Seward daily gateway., 1932-11-02
[ ) | I l R | AL
WHEN ALASKA CHUCKLES

Somehow AlaskaS voice has not carried far in it's protest against the fungus of bureaucracy, but when it hears the voice of the other man whose OK is being gored it knows that it is not standing alone on a purely contentious question.
 Get an earful of this from the Nations Business:
 The extensive research by the Federal government into the pos abilities of using gourdS for bird houses, which developed the inn portant information that the size of the gourd also should be in pro portion to the size of the bird, for it is useless to invite a large bird to nest in a small gOurd.'
 The credit for this addition to the worlds knowledge does not go to a single individual. The leaflet states that it is 'a joint cOntribu- tion from the Bureau of Biological Survey, Paul G. RedingtOn, chief; Division of Food Habits Research, w. L. McAtee. senior biologist in charge and Bureau of Plant In duStry, William A. Taylor, chief; Office of Horticultural Crops and Diseases, E. c. McAucher, principal horticulturist in charge Senior Biologist McAtee further divides his credit with Associate HorticuI- turiSt Beattie"
 It is reported that the most i'm portant Investigation now being conducted by Paul RedingtOn's de- partment is a method for poking a porcupine backward thru the bed net without breaking his quillS and getting slammed on the SnozZle by porkys tail In this work MT Redington will have, in addition to the Alaska Game Commission, other bureaus whose duties will be to conduct research into the class of food eaten by a perky which causes him to chew the bottom of cabin door. This being determin- ed, lectures will be conducted by the Division of Food Habits Re- search in an effort to select a bark containing vitamine A. c. D. and E. plus 24,000 B. T. US.
 Senior Biologist McAtee will then be called to Washington from Siam 10 decide the question of why is a pOrcupine. after which the Com merce Department will close all windows and go into huddle over whether the animated pincushion should be fitted to an all-steel house, or if it is best to have Con- gresS pass a bill compelling all Sourdoughs to share the blankets with any vagrant perky which cheWS it's way into the cabin.
 But what puzzles most are the allegations that so many people are out of work when it takes so many experts to decide on the in terior decorations of a gourd des- tined as the habitation of a hum mingbird.
 Possibly the answer is found in the suggestion that bureaus do not work, they only sell time.
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 When Virgil wrote: DO the pub lie good" it must be remembered that this was before the word 'good' was accorded a colloquial quality.
 Whatever might be said respect , ing the relative brains of MT. Hoov- CT and Governor Roosevelt, the fact that the latter announces. if elected he will name Republicans to his cabinet, shows that he can out-tllink Herb by mile when it comes to political strategy
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 Yes, Hortense, the man who cor ners the crow market by November will step out of the depression ranks.
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 After hearing Hiram Johnson's speech three nights ago one is led to believe that Laundryman Hoover not only held out his shirt, but Hlram's socks as well.
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 Seven more days and the country will be saved" And on the 24th we can have square meal.