The Coolidge examiner., 1932-09-16

Teens, had nursed an aching Desire
to be famous, notorious, acclaimed,
celebrated and popular.
He wanted his Name on the
Scroll, so that his Mother would be
proud Of him. Uncle Jason had al
ways claimed that Herb had brok-
en- Yolk and was all messed up In
side of the Dome. He wanted TO
prove that he (Herb) belonged In
the Hall OF Fame instead of a
Home for Collapsed Mentalities.
Looking the Part.
To look at Mr.. Prangle, about the
time he was eased out OF College
and began to ramble in the daisy
dotted Field of Literature, 1t never
would have been suspected that he
had this lurking Determination to
Prove to the whole World that he
was a Heller. He was skinny and
wore powerful Glasses and had a
bulging Head, like the large end Of
Gourd. He was bashful in Com
pany. Strangers often asked II he
had passed through any Serious III
ness when quite Young. If an at
tractive Cutie gave him a couple
of roguish Looks and began to ask
him pert Questions, he hammered
for a little While and then sank
below the Horizon.
Who would have dared to predict
that Herbert J. Prangle was plan
ming to write Love Stories so sizzl
ing that he would have to use Ashes
tos Paper? To look at him he was
just as passionate as a Rubber
Glove.
Even as the bloody Historical Ro-
mances are written by slender Maid
ems just out of Smith College, and
all that Free Verse about Nymphs
dancing In the shadOwy wildwood
is turned out by hard-faced old
Grouches wearing Overshoes, and
Advice to the Love-Lorn comes from
Police Reporter, so it was in.
evitable that this Clam would write
about heaving Bosoms and Cling
ing Kisses.
For a long Time the Immediate
Friends and Relatives little sus
pected his Intentions. He kept on
producing Manuscripts that were re
jected with Thanks. They put up
with his Delusions and kept him
hidden away in a Cheerful Room
where they would not have to look
at him very often and consoled
themselves with the Reflection that
there is one Jinx in every large
Family.
Then there came a Day when the
Book Reviewers all began TO gibber
and say that New Light had ap-
peared in the Heavens and il was
Some Light. About 1000 Candle
Power.
They agreed that Herbert J. Pran-
gle, author of Scared Souls" was
indecent, audaclous and salacious
but Master Analyst of all the Fun
damental Emotions and a Genius
with a large G.
All at once his apologetic Kin be.
gan running up and down the
Streets asking everyone. "Have you
read Herbert's new BookT"
Soon after the Volume had been
barred from many Libraries and de
nounced from the Pulpit, and Holly.
wood was demanding the Picture
Rights, and the Tremolo Sisters
were camped on the Front Porch TO
interview the daring and devilish
Author, 1t is claimed that Herbert
received. in one Day, no less than
100 Requests for Photographs and
Autographs.
The Glare Of the LimeIight.
For matter Of Years he had
waited and hoped for this Day TO
come. All through the toilsome
Nights he had been sustained by an
intrepid Belief that some Day the
World would simply have to recog-
nize him. He felt within himself the
Pulsations of True Greatness and
he knew that, eventually, the Uni
verse would vibrate in Sympathy.
Well, he began to get the Vibra-
tions and they nearly ruined him.
He suddenly discovered that One
may not acquire one Portion of
Fame without taking on about three
Portions of cheap, low-down Notori.
ETY.. Herbert, the shrinking Violet
suddenly found himself in q Class
with the Ford Joke, the Radio, the
Statue of Liberty and Ziegfeld's Fol
lies. All the Farm Hands in Iowa
were fully informed regarding his
Peculiarities and Eccentricities and
blighted Love Affairs.
He found that he could not stir
out Of Doors without being trailed
by brazen Hussy in shameless At
tire and sticky Rouge, known as
Publicity. He learned. In a Hurry.
that the Laurel Wreath had a lot